Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11987667.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Kuroshitsuji_|_Black_Butler
  Relationship:
      Sebastian_Michaelis/Ciel_Phantomhive, Sebastian_Michaelis_&_Ciel
      Phantomhive
  Character:
      Sebastian_Michaelis, Ciel_Phantomhive, The_Twin
  Additional Tags:
      two_ciel_theory, Twins, Accidental_Cheating
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-09-03 Updated: 2017-11-17 Chapters: 5/? Words: 14953
****** Lookalike ******
by FragileYetEerie
Summary
     Sebastian never knew of Ciel's twin brother. Until he makes out with
     him, that is.
Notes
     hey everyone! this is just a random Idea.. probably going to be a two
     shot.
     enjoy, hopefully!
***** Chapter 1 *****
Ciel Phantomhive had everything a 17-year-old could possibly wish for. Sports
and good grades came to him about as naturally as friends did; and so did
relationships. His current boyfriend was no one else but Sebastian Michaelis, a
name that rang a bell no matter who you mentioned it to. Sebastian Michaelis-
tall, dark and an embodiment of perfection to many. As such, it was natural
that the two had fallen for one another quickly, pale skin touching equally
pale skin, a large body looming over a shorter one, Sebastian leaning down to
meet those pink lips whenever he had a chance to.
One certain aspects about his life though, Ciel had so far been quite unwilling
to share with him. Whenever the topic of finally meeting the boy's family came
up, the grey haired boy was quick to block it off, explaining that his family
wasn't the easiest to handle. He'd told him that he had a little brother who
had been at the same school as the two until a year ago, his asthma then
forcing him to be home schooled instead. Home schooled- already a red flag
screaming at Sebastian that this family was more than just wealthy, and that
the boy's parents were influential people. Ciel had verified just that; they
were so influential, in fact, they hardly had any time to spare that could have
gone into family bonding.
Things being as they were, Sebastian had never even seen the boy's bedroom, the
kitchen where he made his tea or the couch on which the boy watched TV. This
weekend though, luck had been on their side as both Ciel's parents would be
leaving for the weekend, bringing the boy's little brother with them. In
conclusion, this weekend was the first Sebastian would ever spend at his
boyfriend's house.
Sebastian had just made his way to the street where the house was located when
his phone vibrated in his pocket.
'I gotta drop my cousin off at the mall, I'll be there in a few. The back door
is unlocked, you can just go in.'
He typed a quick 'alright, don't leave me waiting too long, I'm hungry',
smirking as he hit send.
A minute later, it vibrated again. 'Hungry?'
'For u' Sebastian replied, imagining the way the boy's face was probably
turning red right now. Ciel was always like that; down for the dirtiest things
but never without acting embarrassed about it at first, a habit Sebastian found
quite charming, and he couldn't deny that he loved to see the embarrassment
fade as Ciel lost control of his body more and more.
After another two minutes, a bold reply came.
'That's good because I cannot wait for you to devour me ;)'
..
The doctor really didn't have many interesting news. The asthma was acting up
again, a result of catching a slight cold, but that much was to be expected. It
wasn't the first time after all. Though he was supposed to be spending the
weekend near the beach with his parents, his illness had once again ruined his
plans. Since yesterday evening, the coughing had reduced already, but another
thing was the matter. As a result of all the stress that had been put on his
lungs and throat, his voice had faded, barely more than a ghostly whisper in
his current state.
The last year had been full of moments like this; whenever there was something
to look forward to, his asthma just had to act up again and ruin things for
him- he was used to it by now.
Instead of leading a normal life, going to school and having friends or maybe a
special someone there, he was doomed to being tutored at home, with maybe a
friend visiting once a month or so, but that was about it.
When the doctors had suggested that he'd be better off not going to school
anymore and his parents had agreed, he'd broken down and sobbed for hours,
actually being one of the few people who really did enjoy school. Even though
the boy had never been popular, he'd at least had a small group of friends and
even a crush on one of the older boys there- though he'd never said it out
loud. Which was probably a wise choice considering that the very person he just
had to fall for happened to be the exact person every single student seemed to
lust after.
Sebastian Michaelis; someone who would refuse him even in his own daydreams.
He'd stopped going to school almost a year ago, but those thoughts about where
he could be right now- and with whom... perhaps it was the loneliness that made
sure his mind just kept wandering back to those memories over and over again.
Memories of a time when things had still been somewhat exciting in his life.
Lately, the world had seemed too grey for someone his age to see it like that.
It was just past 8 and already dark out when the grey haired boy turned the
key, opening the door, thinking about how unfair it was that while he was born
sick, his twin brother had the luck of being born absolutely healthy. And the
other's life reflected just that. For Ciel, everything just always seemed to
work out.
Inside, the house was dark as well, only faint cande light illuminating the
large building. It was just like Ciel to turn candles on and leave without
blowing them out.
Trying not to let his mood get too bitter, the boy made his way inside,
shutting the door behind him when a feeling of dread overcame his body all of a
sudden. The bluenette didn't have much time to think it over though- before he
even had the chance to, a pair of hands, way larger than his own, had wrapped
around his wrists, pushing them against the door in one swift motion that
knocked the wind right out of him.
"It's about time you're finally home. I've been waiting for you," the words
resounded in the hallway, deep and yet so smooth sounding. The voice sounded
almost like..
Before the true weight of the situation kicked in, one of the hands loosened
their hold, instead traveling up towards the grey mob of hair and entangling
long fingers with the soft locks. The pull was gentle almost, though no less
enthusiastic. As new as all of this was to the 17-year-old, he wasn't so naive
as not to know what exactly this meant. But he just stood, like a silent
audience as he watched himself allowing the other to angle his head, and crash
soft lips on top of his own.
The kiss tasted like everything he had never felt; adrenaline in his veins and
a soft moan in the back of his throat; with a hint of red wine. New territory,
dangerous in its alluring pull. His body was so overwhelmed that his mind
couldn't keep up, the question that hung heavy in the air simply being ignored.
What in the world was happening?
Was this really who he thought it was?
And if so, just why was Sebastian Michaelis of all people inside his house,
greeting him with a kiss?
Or, better yet. Why couldn't he bring himself to mind? Was it wrong to enjoy
this, even if it might very well just be a feverish dream of sorts?
His hammering heart or shaky hands offered no answers, in contrast to his lips.
When they surrendered to the dominating nature of the other's sensual
movements, timidly playing his game, something cracked inside him. Call it
adolescent lust or simply desire, it was undeniably there, seeing the light of
day for the first time.
In response to his movements, he earned himself a groan, a sound so desperate
and rough, he hadn't heard anything like that ever before. Making up his mind
to get at least one more of those sounds out of the other's mouth, the grey
haired boy did his best to keep up with the rhythm, hissing quietly when the
gentleness disappeared for a moment, teeth sinking into his lower lip.
If it wasn't for his sore throat, his voice would have still cracked then, a
sweet moan exiting his lips.
Everything became blurry then, that sinful mouth instead sinking towards his
neck, breathing on the sensitive skin and leaving soft kisses everywhere.
Nerves the bluenette didn't know his body possessed were on high alert, sending
shocking waves of excitement and pleasure through his inexperienced body.
"Ahh.." he moaned softly, exposing more of his skin and letting his head move
to the side eagerly. He felt the other's lips turn into a smirk at that,
continuing on with his kisses, but he soon got bored with just that and opted
to use his teeth.
..
When Sebastian finally bit down into the soft skin of his boyfriend's neck, he
could feel the boy's beautiful body shake violently, his nails digging into his
back and pulling the two bodies closer.
Though he couldn't exactly put a finger on it, something about the way Ciel
accepted his teasing just like that made Sebastian want to push him over the
edge so badly. Usually, the other was so impatient- it never took more than
five minutes until he begged for him to pound into his body. Today, though...
today Ciel reminded him of a virgin almost, losing it at the smallest of
gestures and kissing him back clumsily but in just the right way.
His arousal grew by the minute, and Sebastian could not help but push his body
into the smaller one, thrusting slightly, if only to get some relief. At just
the same moment, he bit down on the soft skin of Ciel's neck, relishing in the
sound he produced. A whine, desperate in nature, that had his own patience
diminishing.
"I love the way your voice sounds when you get needy," he whispered against the
boy's neck, before sucking harshly on it.
"I.. thank you," came the soft spoken reply, the boy's beautiful voice sounding
a bit roughed up and half whispered, but Sebastian couldn't imagine one better
sound in the world.
"Let's move this into your bedroom," Sebastian said, voice hoarse as he
continued to lick and taste that sweet pale skin.
"Mmh" the other answered, and let out a shriek when Sebastian quickly picked
him up, carrying him up the stairs bridal style.
"I'll make sure to devour you," he whispered into Ciel's ear naughtily, content
as he heard the boy's heavy breathing, moaning almost.
"I'll let you," the bluenette half moaned, half whispered, so quietly that
Sebastian almost thought he'd imagined it.
***** Chemistry *****
Chapter Notes
     I finally have another chapter written and this is I don't even know
     how many words of pure smut honestly, but still relevant for the plot
     in a sense..
     Also, there's still no official name released so I'll just stall and
     wait until it's finally revealed or I'll come up with a name or my
     own- we'll see.
     And everyone, thanks so much for reading this and giving it so much
     love, I hope everyone finds this chapter acceptable.. though there
     might be weird words or typos since I've written this on my phone
     (not sure of this needs to be mentioned or not but the story switches
     a bit between the younger twin's and Sebastian's point of view,
     therefore Sebastian will refer to him as 'Ciel' since that's who he
     assumes he's dealing with, unaware of the fact that there is a twin
     at all)
"This one," the bluenette motioned to the closed wooden door, growing anxious
as the large raven haired boy moved the two of them towards it with quick
steps. Urgency was a shared sentiment between the two, although one of them
knew what to expect- while the other's experience was as good as non existent.
How in the world he was supposed to act, and just how far he should go; those
were a mystery to himself even.
And yet, despite the uncertainty rising in his gut, there was no way of denying
the warmth shared between the two of them, body against body. Living a mostly
isolated life, that in itself appeared to be quite the miracle. Just how alive
it had him feeling to be pressed up against another body. To, for once, step
into a darker territory without a doctor or a parent there to prevent him from
potential damage.
'No matter how surreal this is, it might be my only chance at living a normal
life for once,' the boy thought to himself, feeling his own heart as it beat
violently inside his chest. And he kept that thought on the forefront of his
mind as he spoke,"kiss me again."
It took barely a second until the request was granted, a large hand taking a
hold of blue grey hair, and making sure their mouths collided in the best way
possible as they passed through the door and into the dimly lit room.
Different colored Christmas lights were attached to the wall above the bed,
hanging lazily above the two adolescents as they neared the soft mattress,
distracted by their inner urges and the reality of their touches, along with
the sheer static that hung heavy in the air. Time didn't exactly stop or pass
by faster, and yet the younger of the two couldn't help feeling as though
something about it was different. Perhaps the knowledge that this was a moment
he'd remember, or maybe the vague sense that it had to be fleeting in its
exciting and lively beauty. But he refused to let his mind wander down those
familiar, depressing pathways.
He wouldn't be thinking about the why, not when Sebastian Michaelis, and a
version of him that was even more alluring than the one he had kept in his mind
even, was setting him down on the bed, his face illuminated by blue and purple
lights. Not when his body was burning and the ashes smelled like all of his
fantasies coming true too suddenly and yet not fast enough. Not when
excitement, for once, overshadowed his fears.
The raven haired boy stilled his movements in front of him, those wine red eyes
traveling over the boy's face, halting only at the eyes and eventually, they
settled on his lips. There was something strange about it; not so much the look
itself but rather the feeling of being looked at with such a gaze. It was brand
new, something no one could understand until they had experienced it, and from
what it did to his heart and chest, something he wished every person got to
experience at least once in their lifetime. That short moment in time, just a
few seconds in fact, crashed over his body and mind and, much like a flood,
washed away all the worries and insecurities hidden deep within. A tidal wave
of feelings that somehow ended in stillness, a feeling so rarely experienced
these days.
"You need to know just how beautiful you are," came the raven's words,
whispered softly and sounding unreal in their sincerity.
"You're- I don't think.. thank you," was the answer the young brother settled
on eventually, finding it hard to come up with the right words to speak,"but
that's just.. You are breathtakingly beautiful, I'm sure you're aware of that,
while I just look the way that I look."
"Yeah, perfect that is," Sebastian said, a smirk on his lips.
"Kiss me?" the smaller of the two asked then, not too confident that his heart
would be able to take anymore of the other's words, let alone spoken in this
breathless tone.
And no more words were exchanged then, a rough kiss the most ideal answer he
could have received. Sebastian was pouring his heart and soul into this, he
could tell, and things soon became messy and a challenge to keep up with. Lips
moved fast, soft to the touch and harsher in their motions. After just seconds,
the boy was panting so hard that it proved the perfect opportunity for the
other to make use of that opened jaw, sliding his tongue inside his lover's
mouth and teasingly tasting him. Cinnamon, or perhaps chocolate -Sebastian
found it hard to tell what exactly he tasted like, but he really didn't think
too much of it, his mind preoccupied with getting their bodies even closer
together.
Keeping their mouths attached and digging his nails into Sebastian's clothed
back, yet still feeling the muscles underneath, the inexperienced one of the
two was doing his best to not combust from the rush of emotions circling his
blood flow. Especially when Sebastian seemed to come closer and closer, like a
shadow covering the last bits of light, trapping his body between a body that
made mouths water and a soft mattress, and blocking any sort of escape route.
Not that one was needed, really. With how things were unfolding, and the
eagerness to feel more of it, it wasn't like either of the two was particularly
thinking about stopping now. Hormones were doing their job, and they were doing
it just perfectly, creating a larger and larger gap between the rational mind
and all sorts of needs that no one could suppress in a state like theirs.
Thin, white wrists were pinned down above grey and blue hair, one hand of
Sebastian's being enough to effectively trap them for good.
..
Sebastian could steadily feel his hunger grow, like a silent monster waiting to
pull someone under the bed with it. He'd had a few sips of red wine before
leaving the house earlier, but he was still at a loss... Those few sips of
alcohol could not have been nearly enough for him to have become drunk. Still,
he was feeling it- not exactly drunkenness but something that came close to it
in the sense that the feeling had him losing control over himself in a way he
had rarely experienced. Truly, it wasn't unlike him to get turned on easily,
especially since he'd been with Ciel, they had done many things, most resulting
in their bodies becoming a moaning mess between crumpled bed sheets.
Yet for some reason, be it the change of scenery or the red wine, something
about it seemed different this evening. About the way Ciel kissed him back,
almost shyly which was very unlike himself. About the way he shivered at the
tiniest of gestures. Be it a hallucination or not, he could also swear that
something about his eyes had changed, as if they had softened just the tiniest
bit, while at the same time looking like they had seen many things Sebastian
had never been aware the other had gazed at. Even the way the boy smelled and
tasted, to him seemed somewhat different. Sweeter, and yet earthier. More
passive, and yet more demanding.
Whatever exactly it was that seemed different about him, it was clearly there.
And in its strangeness, it tore Sebastian apart. It made him want to claim the
boy way more aggressively than was usual for him, while it also made him want
to be as gentle as he could, making sure he was doing everything just right. He
wanted to rip Ciel's clothes off, while he also wanted to keep staring at the
boy's eyes, taking in the widening of black pupils on a a deep blue canvas, and
the glazed over look that suited him deliciously.
Another thing he wanted was to hear his voice, and badly.
So, aiming to fulfill that desire, he harshly pulled the boy's head back with
his free hand, enjoying the breathless sound that left his lips. And without
warning, he bit down on the skin that was so soft it should be made illegal to
touch.
Those small hands dug into Sebastian's back and it only served to excite him
even more.
"Ahh," moaned the other's soft voice, continued by the most breathless, "oh my
God," Sebastian had ever had the pleasure of hearing.
"I want to hear you moan my name," he demanded, his lips and teeth still
touching the sore spot he had just sank his teeth into. And then he did it
again, biting down and tasting his lover's skin, breathing in the smaller one's
scent.
"Ahh, oh.. Fuck," was the broken sounding reply he received, the boys voice a
train wreck of want and need that didn't manage much more than half hearted one
word replies. "I can't.. it's ahh, too embarrassing."
At this, he halted in his movements, letting go of the abused skin and fighting
back a silent laugh. As if the other hadn't moaned his name through all sorts
of octaves and back before. Still, if Ciel wanted to play this sort of game
with him today, Sebastian didn't mind - he had all the patience in the world if
it was what got him what he wanted.
He looked the other straight in the eye.
"If that's what you say, let's play a tiny game, love."
Sebastian could see the other swallow, struggling to regain enough composure to
even process what was being said. Ciel's chest was moving wildly, his breath
coming out violently like a thunderstorm on a summer evening.
But, the boy nodded.
"Okay if you're going to be shy, I'm going to have to change that. Just do what
I say, okay?"
Another nod.
"Very well. Just answer my questions then," he whispered softly, bringing his
index finger towards the neck on which there were dark spots beginning to form.
The finger halted one one of them, tracing a small circle.
"You like it when I touch your neck? When I kiss it and bite it? I know I love
having your soft skin between my teeth."
When Ciel answered with only another nod, it only fueled the raven's desire to
get him out of that unusual state of embarrassment and shyness.
"Tell me that you like it," he muttered.
"I, of course I like that," said the boy and bit his lips anxiously, looking
like a deer in the headlight with his pink cheeks and wide eyes.
"Wrong, love. You don't like it, you love it. Your body gives you away. Tell me
how much you love it when I mark you as mine," Sebastian continued, pushing the
other just a bit further, all the while looking the other in the eye.
"I.. that's, it just - it feels good when you're touching me."
"Shh, we're still playing my game. How much do you love it when I'm holding you
down and sinking my teeth into your neck?" Sebastian asked with a perfectly
straight face, ignoring his eagerness in favor of playing around with the blue
eyed beauty underneath him.
"I.. it feels.. I mean, I'm sorry. I love it a lot, it makes me want to be even
closer to you," the soft voice spoke, still sounding so unsure and innocent to
the raven, but it was a start.
"Very well, I'm happy with that answer for now. And also, your voice just now
makes me want to be inside of you, but let's not rush this," he said with a
smirk, and took one of the smaller hands in his, slowly guiding it across the
boys own chest, earning himself a shiver from the action, before he went ahead
and pressed the soft palm against the zipper of his black jeans. Blue eyes
widened a second later, as if only now realising just where his hand had been
placed, and the genuine embarrassment mixed with arousal that painted Ciel's
face drove Sebastian wild inside.
"See? You're the one doing that to me," Sebastian whispered, holding his breath
at the feeling of being palmed through his pants. "Just looking at your face
and hearing your voice is enough to drive me insane. Makes me want to push you
into the mattress and thrust into you until you're screaming."
There was the sound of a sharp intake of breath, and the stiffening of the hand
against his dick, and it was just what Sebastian had hoped for.
"My, my... for someone too shy to even moan my name you sure do seem to like it
when I tell you how badly I want to fuck you. Tell me about it."
For a moment, silence hung in the air, except for the sound of heartbeats and
the shaky intake and exhale of hot breaths that left both their mouths.
..
The moment that thick, caged piece of flesh touched his fingertips, the
bluenette could have sworn his heart burst right out of his chest. The thought
that it was really him, him of all people, who had this gorgeous man in such a
state - that was hard to wrap his mind around.
In fact, everything that was happening was hard to process. Sebastian was like
a rock in the water, self assured and strong, and even knew exactly what he
wanted. His words, spoken in that tone that he'd never heard anyone use, did
things to him that the boy had trouble explaining to himself or understanding
in the first place. He was trying so hard not to act like the clueless virgin
he was, but it was just so hard to not get lost in his shyness and
embarrassment, especially with those eyes on his and those words ringing in his
ears.
"I can't.. I don't have the words to.. I don't know how to say this without
sounding like..," he trailed off again, sinking his teeth into his pink lower
lip, and playing around with the swollen skin in nervousness.
He watched the dangerous glimmer in the red eyes watching his every movement,
and let go of his lip.
"Don't worry love, I got you. Just, say my name. Alright?"
Swallowing down his nervousness for the hundredth time in the last half hour or
so, he nodded.
"Sebastian."
Said male made sure to keep the boy's hand on his erection as he moved closer
once again, leaning down towards the boy's neck and softly starting to kiss his
neck once more, butterfly light kisses that were more of a tease than anything.
The soft touches had the boy's heart beating a bit too fast, and yet it felt
just right.
"Say it again, please," Sebastian whispered, feeling goosebumps rise all the
way up the boy's neck as he breathed softly onto the other's ear and bit into
the skin right behind it without too much urgency. "Come on," he urged him on.
"Sebastian," it was shakier this time, sounding like a dam on the edge of
breaking.
"You're doing so well, beautiful. Now, moan it," the words were half lost on
the smaller of the two, their suddenness and the pleading undertone in
Sebastian's voice getting mixed up with the sudden feeling of being bitten so
harshly - it almost felt like skin was being broken but neither of the two
would have really minded at that moment. As if that in itself wouldn't have
been overwhelming enough, Sebastian had chosen this very moment to push his
clothed dick right into the boy's hand, and using his own hand to pinch one of
the younger boy's nipples though the thin fabric of his shirt.
And moan the other's name he did.
"Sebaaastian, ah," the world tumbled out of those insecure lips in a way that
sounded so natural, so right that it left the two of them in a second long sort
of stunned trance before everything suddenly sped up. Those large hands did an
utterly perfect job at unbottining his shirt in record time, young and hot skin
shivering as it was met with cool air. Though, that wasn't the case for long as
the other moved his perfect face down the boy's neck, kissing his collarbones
with an open mouth and aiming downwards, effectively heating the whole body up
with his touches.
Unsure what to do with all of those sensations, a now sleeveless arm came up to
cover blue eyes, shielding his vision and the wanton face he surely was making
from those razor sharp eyes that looked at him like an animal might look at its
prey.
Though, the effort wasn't of any use.
"Look at me," the command came out smoothly and it had the younger of the two
feeling obligated to do just that. So he moved his arm to the side once more,
digging his fingers into the blanket as his wide eyes watched the other go
about his business; pinching his pink nipple and letting his fingers wander up
and down his stomach, halting just above the area that felt like it needed the
raven's attention the most.
And then, all thoughts left his already foggy mind as long white fingers began
to open his pants, unzipping him and, in one fluent movement, pulling his pants
right off and leaving the thin body exposed and at the older boy's mercy.
"You're so beautiful," Sebastian spoke, although mostly to himself, pupils wide
as he took in the meal being served to him. Or much rather than a meal, the
beautiful boy he had the luck of calling his own to play with.
Black boxers were pulled down a moment later and both pairs of eyes were locked
on the hard and painful looking erection between standing proudly between the
young Phantomhive's legs.
Then, an endless two seconds later, that hand had finally wrapped itself around
the warm flesh, and a soft sigh fell from pink lips, followed by another,
"Sebastian," though this time much more breathless in nature. Of all the
feelings the young boy had expected to feel when finally being touched like
that, none of those even came close to the reality of what that strong hand did
to him. It had him exploding on the inside, breathing heavily - it had him
feeling like he was drowning in the ocean, endless amounts of water above his
head with no chance of ever breathing again.
It had him screaming out the other's name with much less inhibition once
Sebastian began to move his hand and settle on a soft rhythm of up and down.
"That's it, just the tone I've wanted to hear from you all evening." It was
said in a way that betrayed all the desire inside the raven, all the need that
had steadily been building up ever since he'd entered the house.
"Don't stop."
At the command, Sebastian resumed his stroking, making the blue eyed boy
shudder underneath his touches. For a short moment, their lips found each other
again, massaging each other in a rhythm that wasn't really much of a rhythm by
definition. Just two bodies, and chemistry that no scientist could ever
rationalise, and breathless hunger.
Until suddenly, their lips were separated again and the boy couldn't possibly
do anything else but to watch the raven's face as he traveled lower, passing
the boy's pale stomach and placing a single kiss on the tip of his erection
before heading just a bit lower, unable to help his desire to actually - in a
very literary sense, be inside of the boy.
And before the bluenette really realised what was about to happen, the other
had already begun kissing his inner tights, leaving a trail of saliva and
warmth behind as he moved closer and closer to the very place the virgin had
least expected to ever find someone's mouth.
Until, it was already too late and instead of protesting in shame, all he could
do was repeat broken versions of the raven's name like the most corrupt song
there was to sing in the world. Because the others tongue, long and warm, was
inside him.
"Sebastian, oh God, Se- ahh," he fumbled around with his words, though to no
avail. There wasn't a thing in the world to describe the amount of pleasure
pooling in his stomach or the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Not when
the other's tongue knew exactly what it was doing to him, and not even when,
after a few seconds, Sebastian's face reappeared, eyes locked on the hole that
was now nice and wet, begging for more.
And though every fiber inside the young boy screamed that maybe this was more
than he could handle, more than he should be doing on one evening, he still
couldn't help himself as the other asked him a question that in itself sounded
like sex.
"Fingers first?"
The meaning didn't hit home until a few moments of confused anticipation later,
and the younger brother took a deep breath, bracing himself. He wanted this.
Although he barely had any idea of what was going to happen, or how exactly it
would, there was something burning deep inside him that went beyond his desire
of experiencing the unknown or discovering new things.
He really wanted Sebastian to be the first person to ever do this to him, no
matter if the two had barely talked or this whole situation still felt like a
dream. Everything happening inside of him was so much louder than any fear or
insecurity, and that had him answering in a lust-filled trance, "one finger
first."
..
And despite Sebastian's initial moment of confusion - because the usual answer
for Ciel would have been a demanding sentence like 'Skip fingering me and just
fuck me instead,' he couldn't do anything but oblige. His body wouldn't let him
protest or ask for more - entirely too satisfied for now with the idea of
finally feeling the boy's soft warmth. He watched in fascination as the other's
ass let his finger slip inside, the walls clawing at his skin as if still
unsure about the intrusion, torn between sucking the digit in or pushing it
back out.
And, much like that, when he eyed the other's face, he found it wearing a
strange expression, eyes tightly shut, lip stuck between white teeth and a soft
whimper in the air. Ciel looked like a virgin trying his hardest not to cry as
something entered him for the first time. Not that he'd had the luck of being
the one to actually pop his boyfriend's cherry, but he'd had other virgins
before and therefore recognised the expression.
But Ciel wasn't a virgin by any means. He shouldn't be wearing that look when
Sebastian was moving a single finger softly in and out of him. And that had
Sebastian confused, extremely so.
"Are you okay?" he whispered, halting his motions and looking the other in the
eyes as they slowly blinked open.
"I'm just... I have never really, but I," the bluenette stammered, his words
not really making much sense to Sebastian.
It took the boy a moment before he managed to form a real sentence, "I'm fine,
I was just a bit overwhelmed but you can.. continue.. if you still want to."
"Why wouldn't I want to?"
"Well, didn't I just ruin the mood?"
At that, there was no way for Sebastian to hold in a chuckle, "I literally have
my finger up your ass which is so wet and warm and so damn tight that it's
literally almost impossible to talk or think because I want nothing more than
to finally have my dick in you and our bodies moving together. I don't think
there's anything you could possibly do to ruin that mood, my love."
An embarrassed half smile appeared on the boy's lips at that, and he sounded
way less worried as he spoke, "Then please continue. I- I want you inside me
too."
That was a thing Sebastian honestly did not need to be told more than once, and
he picked up where he had left off, with the addition of his mouth that found
the other's erection like it was magnetism, wrapping his lips around the tip as
he continued to move his finger, searching for the boy's prostate like it was a
hidden treasure and he was a starving sailor.
The groans and moans that left the boy's lips sounded delicious, and Sebastian
loved how, almost like a marionette, he could pull the boy's strings and
receive the fitting answer. He hollowed his cheeks, sucking on the flesh inside
his mouth like he was born to do nothing less than to please his tiny lover.
And the response was overwhelming, tiny hands fisting his dark locks, blue eyes
staring into his only to look away a moment later, overwhelmed with the
intensity Sebastian knew his gaze could carry.
Though all of that didn't even come close to the moment when his long middle
finger brushed past the boy's sweet spot, the loudest moan for the evening
leaving his marked throat, the thin body arching off the mattress in pleasure.
"Oh fuck, do that again," he heard the other cursing, demanding more of his
touch - and who would the raven be to deny his boyfriend what he wanted.
Instead, he pulled his finger out and this time, pushed two of them inside,
heading straight for that special spot with both of them, and watching the
other lose all semblance of control over his body. Shaking legs and ragged
breathing, and pupils so wide, they'd make the moon look small beside them.
Sebastian could not even describe the onslaught of emotions he felt as he
looked into those eyes, completely overwhelmed with the beauty of this utterly
wonderful human being as he made sure the boy let loose, forgetting every
single thing besides the touches they were sharing.
And those touches grew wilder and wilder, Sebastian's own dick rock hard and
almost painfully ignored in his pants, but he still had time; he could wait if
this show was what he got repaid with.
"Sebastian," another moan, the despair in the breathy voice growing rapidly, as
if he was literally going to explode.
And it took less than ten more seconds until the boy did; his already tight
entrance freezing Sebastian's fingers in their place, and the boy's salty cum
being shot right into Sebastian's mouth with a chorus of curses mixed up with
the raven's name being shouted in ecstasy. The taller of the two locked their
gazes, watching all focus disappear from those beautiful eyes as he reached his
climax.
"Oh God, yes mm- Sebastian fuck," the words fell right past those sweet lips,
and faded into heavy breathing as Ciel's orgasm passed, Sebastian swallowing it
all down and teasing the sensitive flesh with his lips and tongue, waiting for
a few more moments until he pulled his fingers out with a sound he very much
enjoyed.
He had half expected the other to fall asleep given just how hard he had been
breathing, but to Sebastian's surprise the boy quickly recovered and, still
shaky on his naked legs and arms, crawled over towards him, looking like a
feline with his graceful movements. Before he knew what exactly was going on,
the other put his hand back to the place it had previously been forced to
leave; resting comfortably against the skin so hot, he could feel it through
the fabric easily. Softly moving his small hand, he squeezed his fingers around
the piece of flesh teasingly without meaning to put the other on edge. At least
that was the impression Sebastian got. Ciel wasn't his usual self, and by now
that was more than clear. If he was acting normal, he'd be touching him in an
entirely different way.
He'd be aware of just what to do - and he'd do it quickly without much
concentration. Right now, though, the raven could basically hear the wheels
turning in the others head, eyes focused and lips opened in concentration as
the boy seemed busy figuring out just what to do. He then proceeded to fumble
around with Sebastian's pants, trying as best as he could to get them open, but
with his shaky fingers it was no surprise he failed at the task, and it took
the raven's help to eventually have them opened.
Be it the absurdity of the thought that Ciel Phantomhive seemed to have
forgotten how to sleep around as though he hadn't perfected that art, or
something else... But there was something about that concentrated face, that
innocently sweet expression. And whatever that something was, it had Sebastian
just dying to feel those swollen lips wrapped around his erection.
"You still hungry?" he asked, trying his best to keep his voice straight and
smirk intact, but it was getting harder. Just the mere thought of finally being
touched as well had his stomach going wild with desire.
"What do you..? -oh, ooh" the moment of realisation was easy to make out, eyes
growing wide and a heavier blush appearing on the still somewhat pink tinted
skin of his cheeks. "Uh, sure," he mumbled, pushing a lock of grey behind his
ear softly as if to get ready. Still not looking so sure how to proceed,
Sebastian's patience grew thinner and thinner. He took it upon himself to lead
the boy's head closer, sliding his pants down and his boxers along with them,
and grinning as the boy's eyes widened when he was coming face to face with the
others thick cock.
He had expected him to hesitate, but Sebastian truly hadn't expected the boy to
be so sweet about it. Large eyes narrowed when his lips moved closer, and
suddenly they met the soft pink skin, making Sebastian shut his eyes and mutter
out a quiet curse word, fisting the other's hair. The boy perked up like a dog,
eyes widening and a quick, "sorry" leaving his lips.
It took the raven a moment to catch up, unsure as to what was even going on.
When it became clear to him that Ciel thought he'd done something wrong and
pulled away because of that, he quickly explained himself, "No, no. You're
doing perfect. Just please continue, it feels like my balls are going to
explode."
Unsure eyes met his before nodding a bit too enthusiastically.
And then, that warm mouth was on him again, this time taking more of him in,
and wrapping those lips around him.
Sebastian gasped then, trying his best to hold himself back from thrusting into
that endless warmth. He just watched, hypnotised by the way those now wet lips
slid across the hardened skin, evoking all sorts of feelings inside the taller
of the two.
"Just like that," he found himself whispering, letting the boy know he was
doing just great. His hand still wrapped around a few grey locks, he encouraged
the boy's rhythm, or perhaps made him go slightly faster. Underneath him, the
boy was slowly losing the last bit of his composure, moaning softly and letting
himself be guided in his movements like the virgin Sebastian didn't know he
was. His spit was making the whole thing more and more slippery, and it only
felt better to Sebastian the messier the whole thing became. He eventually gave
into his need for more and began to yank the other's head back and forth,
forcing his lips to open wider and making the boy's moans and ragged breaths
resound even louder in the dimly lit room.
After what seemed like hours, a miracle finally happened and the boy got out of
his initial shock at being manhandled and, to his best ability, started to
participate in the whole act. He used his tongue to toy around with the other
and though his own movements were mostly shy, they did wonders coupled with the
thrusting of Sebastian's hips. Each quiet sound of skin sliding on skin, and
each of Ciel's soft humming noises were already hard to handle, but the moment
those eyes opened and quickly found Sebastian's, vulnerable in their unsteady
gaze. And though there was a certain awkwardness about how different the boy
was acting on this evening, at this very moment Sebastian could not even manage
to make himself give a damn. In fact, he found something about this exciting,
Ciel being way more submissive than he usually was, his touches unsteady and
eyes cloudy with warmth and youthful excitement, it felt like the chemistry
between them had changed somehow, but become even more explosive in the best
sense.
That was all he could think about as his grip on the hair grew tighter and
tighter, his thrusts becoming less and less rhythmic.
"Fuck, swallow it," he hissed out, voice hoarse and demanding, leaving no room
to refuse. So instead, Sebastian's vision grew blurry as he watched the boy's
eyes as he did as he was told, swallowing the loads of cum being shot down his
throat. Sebastian's movements stilled and the moment he let the boy's head back
away from his fading erection, he began to cough loudly, a bit of white
dropping down his lower lip as he struggled to get all of it down his throat.
For a few seconds, the taller of the two had to close his eyes, calming himself
down internally and trying his best not to focus on the image of the other's
face. Not when the boy was in a serious coughing fit, currently unable to
continue this even when Sebastian could already feel his body's willingness for
another round.
But damn, that wrecked look on his face did things to him Sebastian could
hardly hope to articulate.
It took the boy a few more seconds of coughing until he rushed to his jacket
that was hanging from the bed, heading straight for the chest pocket and
pulling a small blue inhaler out, bringing it quickly to his stained lips and
inhaling greedily.
Sebastian watched, with wide eyes.
"I never knew you had lung problems that require an inhaler, are you okay?" he
found himself asking.
"I don't exactly run around telling people about my asthma, it's nothing I'm
proud of in any sense," the boy answered, still sounding a bit out of breath,
but it really was no miracle, even Sebastian's healthy lungs were still working
a bit harder than usually.
"I never knew, I'm sorry for, you know, kind of almost choking you then?" he
tried, sounding a bit strange to himself even.
"No! No that was great, it's just.. I'm sorry if I disappointed you, my mouth
was so full and- oh my God did I really just say that?" he buried his face in
his hands, before the raven haired boy had enough and pulled him up, closer to
his own face and pushing his hands to the side.
Once again, their lips met, and Sebastian couldn't contain his inner joy as he
felt just how swollen and used those soft lips felt against his own. The kiss
itself was gentle though, soft and without any rush. And Sebastian could have
stayed that way, just continuing to kiss the beautiful boy like that.
Until the sound of a door bell rang through the house. And within seconds, the
two were apart, the smaller of them stumbling as he rushed to put on his
clothes in record time.
He cursed a bit, mumbling an 'shit we gotta hurry,' before eyeing Sebastian and
telling him to pull his jeans back up his hips.
Feeling a bit confused, but realising that putting clothes back on seemed the
best choice he had, Sebastian too rearranged his clothing and sat still while
the boy then stood up.
"Who's at the door?" Sebastian found himself asking, curious as to why he was
making such a fuzz.
"Probably my brother," the other explained, heading towards the door.
"Ah, your little brother?"
"Technically big brother, I can hardly blame you for not being able to tell,
we're not exactly years apart in age after all."
And with those words, the boy who had minutes ago been nothing but a panting
mess headed out of the room, leaving a confused Sebastian behind.
Something about that story seemed.. weird. He was sure the other had told him
just weeks ago of his younger brother, who was plagued by asthma and - he
swallowed, but his throat remained dry.
'Not exactly years apart?'
And just a second later, the blue haired boy came back inside, starting to
speak the moment their eyes locked.
Except, he was wearing different clothes.
And looking way less destroyed than seconds ago.
"Sorry for being late, but Lizzy just wouldn't stop talking about her
relationship problems and you know how easily she cries and how much I despite
crying girls so-"
Ciel Phantomhive regarded Sebastian, confused as he took in the shaken
expression on the raven's astonishing features.
"..but as things turn out my brother is staying here for the weekend because of
his asthma, though he just told me you were up here.. So I guess the two know
each other from school? He doesn't exactly let people inside his room usually,
so there's no way I'd find you in here otherwise."
And as the words were uttered, the familiar figure from before reappeared
behind the other, equal in size and almost indistinguishable from each other if
you didn't have the two of them standing beside each other like this.
And Sebastian Michaelis couldn't help but swallow again, his eyes traveling
from one brother to the other as if to confirm he wasn't just seeing things.
But this wasn't just a weird hallucination of sorts; no this was worse.
Sebastian Michaelis had just let his boyfriend's twin brother suck his dick.
***** Insanity *****
Chapter Notes
     hey everyone! sorry about this being late again, but I guess you
     could say that's pretty normal for me by now.. still I'd like to
     apologise and I do hope that everyone likes this chapter maybe.. a
     bit? though it's more of serious and conflict filled one than the
     ones before, it's just that I'm planning to turn this into a longer
     fic probably and therefore this is needed for the story's progress..
     although I must say that I felt bad for our Ciel writing this.. but
     it'll get better. soon. hopefully.
     also.. still no name published, so yeah, I'm literally praying for
     the name to be known soon, it's just really confusing writing without
     his name entirely..
     and love to all of you who have reacted so nicely to this fanfiction,
     it means a lot especially since I've been really low on energy and
     afraid of being horrible at writing.. yeah, thank you!
     enjoy, hopefully! (:
"You.. are twins," the statement fell from pale lips, Sebastian's face
betraying his shock, but it wasn't like he could stop himself from letting it
show. In a split seconds, everything - every single thing that he had
considered off throughout the evening - had just fallen into place and now that
he saw the entirety of the picture those puzzle pieces portrayed, a feeling of
dread crept up his spine relentlessly.
The boy's moans rang in his mind, the fresh memory playing its tricks on him
already and making his chest tight. How clumsily he had sucked his dick; how
weirdly embarrassed he had seemed.
How could he have been so stupid?
Or better yet, how in the world had his boyfriend's twin brother just offered
himself up to him like this? Just what kind of person had he slept with? Those
unanswered questions left a bitter taste on his tongue that just wouldn't seem
to go away, and the uncertainty quickly faded into a sense of anger. Sebastian
wanted to scream, he wanted to yell at the lookalike of his boyfriend, to punch
him right in the face for tricking him like this.
But as things stood for now, he could not do or say anything without blowing
both their covers up right in front of Ciel, and the raven was sure that this
of all things wouldn't be a wise idea. Even if he hadn't known what he was
doing, just how was he supposed to actually prove it?
That would sound like a hollow lie, he was sure of it.
"Yeah, I thought you'd be aware of that by now? Since you're sitting on my
brother's bed and all. Besides, you haven't answered my question, did you guys
know each other?"
"Something like that," Sebastian said.
"Something like that?"
"Yeah."
"You're certainly talkative today. You seemed more excited for me to finally
show you my house and bed earlier," Ciel pointed out, his blue eyes heavy in
their gaze, and Sebastian could basically feel the inquiring look he was given
without eyeing the other in return. Sebastian's boyfriend continued, "but I'm
sure I'll get you to be more- oh dear God no!"
The ringing of a cellphone had interrupted his words, cutting him off mid-
sentence and causing a few curses to tumble from his lips. "Lizzy's calling,
and this probably means her boyfriend broke up which means she's probably going
insane right now and- Give me five minutes," he explained as the ringing
temporarily stopped and then restarted.
With those words, he was out of the room, swinging the door shut behind himself
softly, unaware of the situation he was leaving behind.
And a situation it was, certainly. Red eyes were now fixed on the boy whose
clothes looked messy, his hair sticking in different directions as well. Worse
yet, those sinfully red lips were still looking sore, and the bruises on his
neck werw a stark contrast against the white skin. But, Sebastian couldn't be
bothered to keep his eyes on him for too long. Within seconds, Sebastian had
crossed the distance towards where the other boy was standing, effectively
managing to make him step back until his shoulders were pressed against the
wall behind him.
..
The utter speed with which he had moved had the younger of the twins
temporarily stunned into wordlessness. Then again, maybe that had something to
do with how his body reacted to the close proximity to Sebastian; he had to
physically make an effort not to rush back into the flashback of their earlier
touches.
Only, this time there was no mouth on his neck or hands urging him closer, this
time he was being held up by those two strong arms, hands fisting his shirt.
And this time, fear coursed through his veins violently.
"What the fuck was all of that about?" Sebastian asked him, shoving him against
the wall and letting a cough fall from the bluenette's lips.
"I- I don't," the boy stuttered in return, unable to find his words and only
making the raven all the more annoyed by the looks of it.
"You don't what? Don't have a problem with letting your fucking brother's
boyfriend shove his fingers up your ass? Well I sure as hell noticed that? Is
this some sort of plot to get back at Ciel for something?"
The questions came raining down on the smaller of the two, the intensity in
which they were being yelled doing nothing to help him calm down or find his
breath, and instead tears slowly started falling from his eyes, big crocodile
tears that wouldn't seem to stop coming. No one had ever spoken to him in this
manner; and the sheer amount of hatred in the other had him shaking.
So, instead, the boy aimed to shake his head, biting his lip and hoping to
somehow get the message across that this had in no way been a plan of his.
"Don't you even think about using tears to get out of this, you're not some 12-
year-old. Fucking answer me," Sebastian whisper-yelled threateningly.
"I didn't know you," a few coughs interrupted the boy's answer as he clumsily
attempted to wipe his tears with his sleeve, " I didn't know you were
together."
"And you thought what? That it's perfectly normal for a stranger to just enter
your house and make out with them and lead them to your bedroom when you don't
even know that person? How fucked up are you mentally? And come to think of it,
how in the world did you even know my name at all?"
The more questions Sebastian threw at him, the harder it felt to the boy to
even open up his mouth, let alone try to speak through the tears that still
kept coming, accompanied by an uneven breath and a pitiful wheezing sound as he
tried to suck in the air he very much needed.
For all the excitement he'd felt earlier, there now only seemed to be a
crippling sense of anxiety left. What could he even say? There was definitely
no way the younger twin would ever -honestly ever- tell Sebastian that he'd
just so happened to be that one crush he had never managed to really get over.
That would be that last straw, and it definitely wasn't a good idea.
"I was just surprised," he eventually mumbled, voice rough and cracking.
"Surprised my ass. That would have explained maybe five seconds of this
insanity but not nearly all of it!"
"Stop yelling at me!" the smaller boy then suddenly yelled back, having somehow
found his voice for a few seconds as he began to feel like he was being
literally backed into a wall (which he was) and being forced to put all the
blame on himself all the while.
"What about you? You just randomly failed to notice that you're trying to get
into the pants of someone you mistake for your boyfriend just because we look
similar? Well we're not, we're two different people and not at all alike! And
now you're blaming me for not speaking up! I cannot- I cannot even believe
you," he finished, voice having raised by about an octave. That thin chest
violently moved underneath Sebastian's hands that were still holding onto the
fabric.
..
And Sebastian was stunned for a moment at the sudden outburst. The shock only
lasted for about five seconds though, before his sharp red eyes, much like
daggers being thrown, gazed right into the boy's. And the raven could easily
feel the sense of fear it caused in the coughing mess, but it wasn't like that
look of fear stopped him, if anything it spurred him on.
"Similar? You look fucking identical and yeah well I'm really sorry I couldn't
exactly tell your personalities apart when you gave me so much to work with
here, you didn't even talk, just opened you legs and moaned like some slut and
yeah well sorry to break it to you, but in that aspect you and your twin
brother seem to be pretty fucking alike!"
Something snapped upon hearing those words, and more tears came flooding that
pretty and pale face, "Get out of my room this instant! I don't want you in
here and I don't want you touching or looking at me! How can you say things
like this? Fucking leave!" he yelled and, for emphasis, kicked the older boy's
shin with all the power he could muster, sadly not much, trying and failing to
break free.
Instead, the opposite was the effect. Sebastian's whole body crashed into his
and he held the boy in a way which didn't allow him to move at all, trapped
right between the wall and the tall, strong body.
"What? Cannot stand to hear the truth? Sorry to break it to you but you're the
one who was sucking my dick just a few minutes ago and moaning my name like
mindlessly - and I bet I'd get you to do it again if I wanted," Sebastian said,
sounding way more sure of himself than he actually felt. He especially tried to
ignore the thought of where that last part had come from.
As if he'd ever want the other to touch him again. As if the other's smell
still had some sort of affect on him with how close they were standing.
And as he processed those words, along with their implication, blue eyes shot
wide open, staring right back at the other with an emotion that Sebastian
didn't think he could try to decipher if he wanted to. In fact, annoyance
coursed through him once more as that look was sent his way, and he couldn't
help but remember how wide-eyed this boy who was definitely not his boyfriend
had been in bed whenever something had managed to make him flustered and
embarrassed. And this look came dangerously close to that.
That's when Sebastian finally made the decision that he needed to leave this
room, and especially the close proximity of the boy whose name he didn't even
know yet.
And he needed to do it soon because there was no way in hell that he could let
his mind wander off in that direction of all. This had been a mistake - a
horrible mistake that would need so much sorting out, and there was no way it
was anything more than that.
And with that thought on the forefront of his mind, he let go of the other's
shirt, letting him fall and stumble in the process to catch himself, as
Sebastian took a step back.
"No one will ever hear a word about what happened," the raven said in a tone
that left absolutely no room for the other to try and argue. Although, it
wasn't like he was really in any position to, either, sitting on the floor,
rubbing his back and blinking back tears as he gazed up at the older boy.
"I won't tell anyone," he promised weakly, his gaze slowly beginning to fade
into nothingness as Sebastian hurried to leave his room, leaving him alone with
a heavy burden weighing his insides down, and the scent of their earlier
activities that still hung in the air somehow.
And because there wasn't another thing in the world he felt like he was
currently able to do anymore, the boy started crying, soft pitiful sounds
mixing up with coughs once more, and somehow, the tears just wouldn't seem to
stop flowing for what seemed like half an eternity.
***** Apologies *****
Chapter Notes
     Since I felt bad about the last chapter which was pretty depressing,
     short and ended on sort of a cliffhanger, and I therefore hurried to
     write a second part so to speak for that chapter which involves
     Sebastian actually figuring out some of his feelings perhaps?
     enjoy, hopefully (:
After Sebastian had rushed through the door, he instantly stormed down the
staircase, needing nothing more than to step out into the cold air and finally
get a chance to breathe and then, smoke a cigarette. All of this was currently
just to much to handle for him; and somewhere along the lines even his own
conscience had betrayed him and let him doubt what he was doing.
Rushing into the garden through a glass door, he finally lit himself a
cigarette and noticed rationality beginning to slip back into his mind.
Not only had he done things to his boyfriend's brother that now made him shake
his head, he had also just insulted said brother, basically ignoring his
pitiful state and aiming to accomplish seemingly nothing at all. Now all he has
was a bigger chaos to solve, and currently no idea how to.
But, it had angered him; the way the boy had argued with the fact that he was
surprised, as if that meant anything. In fact, what angered him most of all was
that the boy's argument had been just as stupid as his. Sebastian hadn't chosen
to notice the signs either, he hadn't wanted to stop this and no matter how
much he yearned to deny it, he had enjoyed the very things that had made
yesterday feel so weird.
He had not slept with the boy because he had tolerated or accepted his shy and
awkward behavior; he'd slept with him exactly because of those things.
He had enjoyed it and had, minutes ago, threatened the other boy, telling him
essentially that he'd be able to make him moan again should Sebastian want him
to. Which now, thinking more rationally, sounded horribly wrong.
Hell, the boy had probably felt just as bad, if not worse than him. And then
Sebastian had once again managed to let his anger get the better of him and go
right into the act of practicing revenge. Hurting someone on purpose.
And despite what people might think of him, that definitely wasn't something
that made him feel proud of himself.
Or well, it probably wouldn't matter much to him, but somehow this whole
situation seemed to become more and more delicate the longer he thoughts what
had happened through.
This wasn't only just about hurting his boyfriend.
No, there was also another person that currently probably went through hell,
all thanks to the words Sebastian hadn't been able to stop as they had fallen
from his mouth.
And after another drag, the realisation hit him like a tidal wave, salt water
to his ego.
He needed to apologise, and he needed to be serious about it, because this -
this had felt wrong from the moment he had left the other behind to silently
cry to himself. Perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him based on the fact
that the boy looked so much like his partner, or whatever else it was, it was
undeniably there.
And like that, silently hoping Lizzy was still torturing Ciel with her current
life issues, he rushed back inside, taking the steps two at a time in order to
be faster and finally get that voice out of the back of his mind.
As things turned out, the boy's room was still currently occupied only by one
weeping creature, blue grey hair falling down pale knees as he hugged himself
in a sitting position. And upon seeing that, Sebastian could physically feel
another layer of depth add onto the seriousness of his bad conscience.
He'd done this.
He'd need to fix this..
..
As he heard the door open, the crying boy did not bother to try and figure out
who it was, he kept his head safely upon his knees, staring into darkness as he
tried to calm down, still.
He didn't care who had entered the room, because it literally didn't matter. No
matter who it was, they would only be bad news anyway. If his brother came in
now, he had no way of explaining to him the state he was currently in, why he
was crying on the floor, unable to find any words or pick himself up.
And if this was Sebastian, he seriously had no way at all of dealing with
anymore of the others' insults and his screaming; he just literally didn't have
any energy left, not when everything had ended up in the absolutely worst case
scenario. Not when he'd been high off the feeling of something exciting
happening for once just an hour ago only to have it crushed into bits and
pieces more forcefully than he would have expected.
He hadn't even really expected an happy ending; but certainly not this kind of
chaos either.
Being as caught up in his thoughts as he was, the boy almost failed to notice
when the silence was eventually broken and whoever it was gave themselves away.
"I need to apologise," were perhaps the last words he had expected to hear from
Sebastian Michaelis. Especially after he had gone off on him like that just a
few minutes ago. He doubted his sanity momentarily in the following silence.
"What I said to you was uncalled for, and even though I still honestly don't
understand how this could have happened, we're both somehow at fault here, I
think. It just, it wasn't right of me to say such awful things to you though,
and I want to apologise for that. And for, uh - please tell me you're not a
virgin," he pleaded.
But there was no way the younger could tell him otherwise, and it seemed
Sebastian had noticed either way. That did not stop the boy from going bright
red though, temporarily stuck somewhere between hurt and flustered, "I- well,"
he coughed, this time from nervousness, "not entirely anymore I guess?"
"You're serious?"
"Sadly, yes," was the conclusion that followed, and for a moment, neither of
them seemed entirely sure what to say about the fact that Sebastian had been
the one to experience such intimate things with him, which was absolutely
nothing that was supposed to happen with your partner's family members of all
people in the world.
"Then, I'm sorry about that, too," he finished, before deciding to add another
question when silence followed.
"Do you accept my apology?"
And for another time that day, the young boy was at a loss of what to think or
say; all he knew was that somehow, despite the words of apology, the words
still stung - if only for the reason that this whole things must have meant
much more to him than to Sebastian.
Sebastian had only made a mistake.
He, however, had done this knowing that something was entirely off with the
situation; he'd just been too astonished and excited to let it stop.
And all of that while Sebastian had never even given a damn about him in the
end.
"I'm.. You know what? I don't. we both fucked up and now you're essentially
asking me to just be okay with everything that happened after you made it clear
you want to keep this whole thing a secret? I'm not sure I can accept that," he
said, sounding about as defiant as he got.
"No, look. I know this is all a lot to take it and we probably need to talk
about it. But not now, not when we're both sort of in shock and we don't know
how many minutes we have left."
A nod was the answer he received.
"Let's meet somewhere to eat or something and we'll talk about what we should
do now?" Sebastian suggested, afraid he might be crossing a line without
noticing it. "That sound better?"
Another cough, and another moment of silence passed. Suddenly though, the boy
nodded softly, their eyes locking when the bluenette finally looked up and
changed his position.
"That actually sounds reasonable," he agreed, though still hesitant in his tone
of voice. The changes in Sebastian's behavior honestly had him a bit baffled.
How had he gone from attacking him to being so apologetic in a matter of
minutes?
Was it wrong for him to actually agree to make up with him somehow?
That must be a better option than refusing to talk things through, wasn't it?
"Give me your number then," Sebastian demanded, before adding an off sounding,
"please." And he handed the phone out to the boy for him to type in the
numbers.
With still shaky, cold hands the other did just that, saving the number and
adding his nick name, 'smile.'
He'd never been a fan of using his real name, and no matter the stupidity of
the nick name, it was the one that had stuck with him up until now. Basically,
that was probably just because everyone kept using it since they liked to annoy
him; and along with that, teasing him for his lack of smiles.
Which was just another sort of irony hidden within this life, he assumed.
When the two spent another moment looking at each other and not saying a word
about it, it was once again Sebastian who spoke up, "I'll go search for Ciel
then. Text me a time and place, I'll pay to make up for having been an ass."
Unsure what to say, the boy just nodded again, eyeing in confusion when
Sebastian actually had the nerve to smirk at him as he waved goodbye, and by
that time he had not the slightest clue anymore on what was currently going on
or why.
All he knew was, that this was not the way he had ever imagined to get
Sebastian Michaelis' phone number.
***** communication *****
Chapter Notes
     thanks again for all the amazing comments and kudos, I appreciate it
     very much ! (:
     enjoy this chapter, hopefully!
"No one has ever touched me like this before," a soft voice spoke, cheeks a
peachy red and ocean blue eyes traveling from Sebastian's lips to his eyes and
back down. "You're my first, so make sure I'll remember that," that voice
continued on, sultry and devastating in its tenderness that still somehow held
a demanding tone all the while. An odd melody made up of contrast, that's how
he might describe it.
And Sebastian couldn't do anything but listen to the young bluenette, letting
the words work their magic on him in every sense; his body felt hot all over
with the indescribable desire to mark the young boy as his and no one else's to
touch or possess. It was an odd sensation, as if something inside Sebastian had
already declared the lithe body and the person inside of it his. And he'd lose
it should anyone else try to taint that beauty.
Hell, no one was supposed to even entertain such thoughts at all.
Unlike Sebastian of course, who was currently doing more than just entertaining
thoughts - he was about to turn those exact thoughts into reality. To shatter
the innocence those rainy eyes held and somehow continue to see it in them
either way. In him; this awkward boy with eyes full of a soft sort of sadness,
loneliness maybe, and very kissable lips.
As if he would ever stop seeing the beauty in that boy.
Not even as his large hands pushed the smaller frame onto the mattress, and
moved to capture those lips that tasted so earthy and yet sweet at the same
time.
Not even when the boy moaned his name in return once they broke apart for air.
Or when he was slowly beginning to take his clothes off, and each bit of skin
revealed had Sebastian's desire bordering on obsession.
Each and every moment, the boy had him captured in every sense, feeling like he
didn't just want but actually need his touch. Their closeness, and those clumsy
hands reaching for his body greedily; how he wanted that.
As if their touch was the answer to the question of the purpose of life itself.
And then, there was a sudden ringing noise that had every atom of Sebastian's
body and each area of his brain protesting loudly, but it wasn't as though he
could stop himself from being ripped right out of that dream with his alarm's
insistent cries aimed straight at him.
It took him a hard punch on the clock and afterwards, another ten seconds,
until he finally realised just what he had dreamed of.
That had most definitely not been his boyfriend, despite the lookalike
appearance.
..
Sebastian sat on his bed as the afternoon slowly passed, his gaze fixed on the
ceiling, refusing to think about anything at all. Or, more accurately, he
attempted not to think about anything but failed horribly at doing so; the
thoughts just kept rushing right back into the forefront of his mind, images of
an unrealistic evening replaying themselves like a movie in front of his eyes
and mixing up with the images from his dream earlier. Like an exciting movie
that was somehow horrible at the same time, because you know you shouldn't be
watching it.
He wasn't supposed to think about it.
He wasn't supposed to even entertain the idea of recalling those pictures and
feelings, half lidded eyes and a soft voice. His boyfriend's brothers' lips
were the last thing on earth he should be thinking about, period.
Unnecessary to mention, his weekend with Ciel had been less than exciting after
everything that had transpired. A little depressing, to be more accurate. After
everything that had happened, Sebastian's body had stubbornly refused to react
to any of his boyfriend's touches, his worry and guilt making it nearly
impossible to actually let loose and enjoy himself. Especially since his mind
somehow seemed to still have a hard time processing the entirety of the
situation at hand.
The two boys just looked so eerily alike, there was no way he could possibly
not get those images mixed up, probably.
And then there was the matter that a new contact had been added to his cell
phone, though the boy hadn't even typed out his real, actual name.
Smile.
Somehow, that one word seemed to mock Sebastian in its simplicity.
Had he seen the boy, even just once, actually smile? Because on the forefront
of his mind, there were his tears still, wide blue eyes red from having turned
into a waterfall. And worst of all, he'd actually been the one to cause that
onslaught of tears.
He let his eyes slowly leave the ceiling, coming down to look at his phone
screen instead. For about the hundredth time that day, he went to contacts and
stared at the number, internally debating on whether or not, and especially
what, to write. He'd told the other that they'd meet up somehow, somewhere, but
that had been three days ago and Sebastian had not yet managed to actually go
through with it; mainly because the thought of meeting his boyfriend's brother
again terrified a small part of the raven.
And after tonight, he was just left terrified. Terrified of himself, most of
all.
Which was so incredibly unlike Sebastian that it had him stunned. He wasn't the
kind of person to be afraid of things like calling or texting someone; that
honestly just didn't happen. But afraid he was, afraid that somehow he'd manage
to make the situation even worse if he would actually try to make things better
now. Afraid that he had no way of making it up to the boy, or figuring
something out.
A message came in then, and he was thrown out of his thoughts by the sudden
sound yet again.
The message was from his boyfriend.
'You want me to tell you about what toy I'm thinking about buying? (; '
Unsure about whether or not he actually wanted to hear that right now,
Sebastian went about ignoring the message for now. He just couldn't focus on it
at the moment.
He went back to his contacts instead, silently staring at the letters that
seemed to keep mocking him; Smile.
That's when he made his decision and finally summoned the courage to type out a
message. It took him several seconds to find the right wording, and he deleted
about ten messages before he finally settled on one, plain and simple.
'Hey, it's Sebastian.
Are you free this evening? Around eight at Undertaker's?'
Before he could put anymore thought into the question of whether or not he was
being too forward and bold with his words, the raven pressed send and released
a breath once he realised the text had actually been sent. He'd done it. Relief
and excitement mixed up inside his body, and Sebastian took another deep
breath. He needed to meet that boy, if just once more. To talk things over.
Because he was trying to handle this fucked up yet delicate situation as well
as he could, he reasoned with himself.
Definitely not because he'd had that dream about that boy tonight. That much
was sure.
..
One of the downsides of being home schooled was that if you had a strict and
demanding teacher, there was literally no way of keeping yourself out of their
sight at all. Which basically meant that when you're told to study, you better
study it thoroughly because you can't just ask the person next to you what the
current topic is.
But sometimes even that studying could be a good thing. At least that's what
the bluenette thought to himself as he sat there in the silence of his room,
books and pencils neatly placed on the desk, chewing on a seemingly unsolvable
math equation. Studying, as embarrassing as it was to admit, was one of the few
things in the world that proved successful in calming down his nerves; not
music or TV, not his friends or his family. Studying all by himself and getting
lost entirely in the attempt at learning something new, wrapping his mind
around an unknown answer, that was his anti anxiety strategy for now.
That is, until the door swung open and his brother carelessly stormed in
without a care in the world.
That in itself wasn't so strange either, it was not like Ciel was one for
knocking or had ever been. The strange thing about this were the shorts the
older of the brothers was wearing, black leather shorts that barely covered
anything at all beside the absolutely necessary parts. He'd combined the pants
with a white shirt that was made of fabric so thin, it was almost invisible,
like a ghost clinging onto his already pale skin.
"I need someone's opinion on the matter. I order some clothes and stuff. Buy or
don't buy, that's the question," Ciel began, turning around himself again for
the effect, "and since Lizzy's busy making up with her boyfriend and Sebastian
apparently hasn't seen the picture I sent him yet, I'm asking you."
"Me?" the younger of the two asked in disbelief, internally cringing when
Sebastian's name was mentioned, "You know I'm not exactly well informed when it
comes to clothes and stuff."
"You don't exactly need to be well informed. Just tell me what you think of the
pants and shirt, silly."
"They're short."
"That's sort of the point," Ciel argued, crossing his arms.
"Well if you were looking for super short leather pants, congratulations, you
found them," came the answer as the boy's head disappeared behind his math book
once more.
"You really are not helping at all. Even if the only thing you care about are
books, you could at least try to lead a normal conversation every once in a
while. It's like talking to a twelve year old, talking to you."
There he went again, doing the one thing Ciel always ended up doing whenever
they were having a conversation. This time though, the younger of the twins
couldn't help but let an annoyed sentence come out of his mouth as an answer,
"Just because you're into wearing slutty pants and having everyone looking at
your ass, doesn't mean I have to do the same."
There was a short moment of stillness between the identical looking boys then.
"I honestly don't need you to tell me about what I should and shouldn't be
doing. Just because you don't have a chance with anyone, doesn't mean you're
better than me. If anything, you're bitter because literally no one would look
at your ass no matter the pants you're wearing."
Though he tried not to let it, the comment still stung as it was thrown his
way; Ciel just always had to remind him of everything he already knew about
himself.
So what if no one wanted to look at him? If he didn't go around wearing pants
like that and having people's eyes on him?
'Yet your boyfriend still slept with me,' a more hateful part of him brain
urged him to say, but he held that comment back as soon as it came up in his
mind.
"Well fine then, because I don't need anyone's eyes on me either way," he said
instead, though he wasn't entirely sure himself of that. So what if he maybe
wanted people to look at him for once instead of his brother?
But that wasn't something he'd ever admit. On the contrary, his jealousy of his
brother was something he'd likely keep hidden deep inside until the day he
died.
"You know, sometimes I wonder how you can possibly be my brother. You're like
the most boring person I know, who in the world hasn't even had their first
kiss by the age of 17? Who in the world would rather sit inside their room all
day instead of actually making friends or going out? It's like you're some
depressed 60-year-old or something," Ciel said in the way he usually talked
when trying to put his brother down without being too aggressive about it.
"Fine, amazing. I'm boring, I get that. Now will you please leave me alone,
I've got studying to do," came the numb sounding answer, and the bluenette
heard his phone vibrating somewhere on his bed. As depressing as it sounded,
that was sort of unusual. His very few friends didn't really have the habit of
texting him, and his parents were currently still lying on the beach somewhere,
having extended their holiday spontaneously.
"Fine then, have fun studying and thank you for your really useful help," Ciel
told him sarcastically, slamming the door behind himself when he left his room
finally.
Pushing the comments of his brother into the back of his mind, the younger of
the two closed the heavy book in front of him, and padded over to his bed,
letting himself fall on the soft blankets and grabbing his phone as he laid
there on his stomach.
He had a text from an unknown number, but he quickly figured out who had
messaged him once his eyes made contact with the words that had been sent;
'Hey, it's Sebastian.
Are you free this evening? Around eight at Undertaker's?'
And just like that, his breath seemed to leave his lungs, a sudden heaviness
settling in there instead. A clumsy hand fumbled with his pocket, grabbing his
inhaler. He shakily brought it to his lips and inhaled, twice.
All of that had truly happened; there was no amount of reading and studying he
could do to really fully distract himself from the horror of it all. The fact
still remained that he needed to talk to Sebastian, about everything. Worse
yet, that he had even agreed to do this, instead of refusing to ever speak a
word to the raven again.
Now though, lying here and reading through the message again, he felt a sense
of insecurity building up inside him at the thought of seeing the other again,
being in the same room as him, being essentially alone with him.
What if that brought back even more of the memories he was trying his best to
suppress? What if somehow, despite everything, his sentiments for the boy who
was admittedly his first and, so far, only crush... What if those thoughts came
back to the surface again once he looked into those red eyes.
He shook his head.
That couldn't, and wouldn't happen. If anything, this meeting was supposed the
be a chance for him to make sure of that; they'd talk things over, he'd get
over it all and then he could go on living his lonesome life; while Sebastian
would go on spending his nights with his brother.
Although, a quiet yet deadly sense of fury burned through his body at that
thought before he could stop it.
Once again, he'd be the one to watch his brother toy around with something-
someone that he wasn't capable of including in his life.
'Eight sounds manageable, I'll be there,' he wrote and before he could change
his mind, pressed sent. For once, he'd have an exciting kind of even, then.
Again.
..
The evening was bitter cold, the air biting at pale skin that was mostly
covered in a large, blue coat reaching down to the thin legs clad in a black
jeans. A thick, black scarf was wrapped around the bluenette's slender neck,
but the uncovered parts of his face felt freezing, sensitive skin feeling
assaulted by the wind.
The sign in front of Undertaker's restaurant flickered, the weak light of the
street lamp a few feet away not doing much to lighten the mood of the scenery;
the restaurant somehow had its very own charm which wasn't recognised by too
many people, but the food was good and the place was rather expensive, too.
And that somehow made this whole meeting seem like a bit of a fancy environment
for the issue they were about to discuss. They could have literally just met up
at the park or any other - less intimidating - place, and yet here the younger
of the twins stood, giving himself a mental pep talk to fight his nervousness.
'Okay, calm down. You're acting like this is a date or something. This isn't
going to be fun, and it's honestly nothing to be excited about. In and out.
Breathe.'
His breathing was disrupted as a hand came from behind, reaching gently for the
boy's shoulder but making him flinch and spin around none the less. It wasn't
like he was used to being touched so casually; he wasn't used to sharing
personal space.
..
Sebastian couldn't exactly explain his sudden urge to tap his finger on the
other's shoulder, or why it felt natural for him to greet the other in this
way. He blamed it on the resemblance to his boyfriend, and the fact that he was
very much used to touching Ciel.
Meaning, he didn't expect the wide eyed look that was visible for a second only
before a tiny fist came swinging right into his face, and though it wasn't
necessarily a hard punch, he was so surprised that an alarmed sounding "what
the fuck?" left his lips instantly.
It seemed to take the smaller of the two a moment until it finally dawned on
him that no one was about to rob or kill him, or hurt him in any way. And with
that realisation came a look of pure shock and embarrassment to the pale face,
cheeks red as he began to fumble around with words, "I- oh my God, I am so
sorry I, I didn't mean to do that! Did I hurt you? Let me look."
And just like that, Sebastian regarded the pretty boy as his face came closer
and closer to his, eyes fixed on the part of his face where the fist had made
contact with his cheek. Freezing cold fingers touched that spot with a pressure
so light, it was almost like he was imagining it completely.
Perhaps it was the way the blue eyes suddenly traveled a bit lower, to fix on
his lips for a split second that woke him up from his trance. Or maybe the fact
that upon seeing this, something inside Sebastian dared to put the thought into
his head of how easy it would be to lean in and taste the other's lips again,
to see him avert his gaze and blush underneath Sebastian's attention.
Their eyes met, and Sebastian did his best not to act on his thoughts and
desires.
Though he couldn't help but chuckle at the forlorn look he was met with, and
then the hand left his skin, awkwardly disappearing as the smaller of the two
took half a step backwards.
And suddenly breathing seemed a bit easier, though there still wasn't much
distance between the two figures. In fact they were standing so close that the
foggy clouds of warm breath leaving the other's lips clouded his view for a
moment. Or maybe it wasn't so much that as it was the way his body reacted to
that moment the two had just shared; strangely intimate albeit in essence
innocent.
"I'm fine, that punch was honestly not a hard one at all," he found his voice
luckily and chuckled. "You seem to be freezing though, so let's get inside
perhaps?" Sebastian suggested then, gesturing towards the entrance.
"I- yeah. Let's go inside," said the bluenette and despite the dim lighting,
the red that had traveled into his cheeks was obvious to Sebastian. He
swallowed, tried his best to snap out of those thoughts for now, and let the
younger boy lead their way inside, following him like a silent shadow.
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