Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8699467.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Fandom:
      One_Tree_Hill_RPF, Supernatural_RPF
  Character:
      Ruby_(Supernatural), Sophia_Bush, Jensen_Ackles, Jeffrey_Dean_Morgan,
      Danneel_Harris, Original_Female_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Angst, Humor, Alternate_Universe, Hurt/Comfort
  Collections:
      Sinful_Desire
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-03-12 Completed: 2013-05-07 Chapters: 20/20 Words: 19601
****** Long Way To Happy ******
by Kraven Knight [archived by sinfuldesire_archivist]
Summary
     Sixteen years old and a trust is broken. Everyone since then has been
     let in, but only past the first layer. Jensen has rules now, rules
     about everything.
     JDM is only 17 at the start of this story.
Notes
     Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally
     archived at Sinful-Desire.org. To preserve the archive, we began
     importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in
     November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted
     announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or
     know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on
     Sinful_Desire_collection_profile.
***** Lyrics *****

Author's notes: I own nothing, except the ideas. Enjoy!
===============================================================================
One night to you
Lasted six weeks for me
Just a bitter little pill now
Just to try to go to sleep
No more waking up to innocence
Say hello to hesitance
To everyone I meet
Thanks to you years ago
I guess I'll never know
What love means to me but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling
 
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy
 
Left my childhood behind
In a roll away bed
Everything was so damn simple
Now I'm losing my head
Trying to cover up the damage
And pad out all the bruises
too young to know i had it
So it didn't hurt to lose it
Didn't hurt to lose it
No but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling
 
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way
 
Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name
I just want to thank you
Thank you
From the bottom of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah
 
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way
 
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
'cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy
***** Straight! *****
Key in the ignition, messenger bag in the passenger seat, His taste in my
mouth. I’m out. I’m gay. I’m a whore.
 
They met a month into summer vacation. Running around the park, both jamming
out to their music. They talked, laughed, fucked. Jensen felt for the first
time that he had found someone who he could spend his whole life with. It
didn’t matter that he was only fifteen, or that his first time had been on a
hide-a-way bed. He felt something real. Accepted for the person he was.
 
It wasn’t real, none of it. He Jeffery Dean Morgan, was straight. This was just
an experiment, a test, to see which way he swung.
 
Something snapped in Jensen, all of his innocence ripped away with a single
sentence.
***** Again! *****
On the first day of school, Jeffery apologized. “Jen, man, I am so sorry, I
shouldn’t have said that.”
 
“So your not straight?” Jensen asked hesitantly, the fortress he’d build in the
last two months began to crack and crumble, Jeffery’s hand were on his
shoulders and Jensen couldn’t breathe.
 
“What do you say we meet up again, we’re good together,” Jeffery wagged his
eyebrows.
 
There wasn’t enough blood getting to Jensen’s brain, the fortress and his
resolve went up in flames. “Sure,” Jensen blushed, “when and where?”
 
***
 
Jeffery’s parents were gone again, so they met at his place. It started off
even better than the last time, Jeffery was so gentle and loving in the way he
worshipped Jensen’s skin. He peppered kisses on Jensen’s collarbone, tickled
his sides lightly and rolled their hips together.
 
Jensen’s hands roamed the well-muscled chest of the older boy. He made sure he
touched every inch of Jeffery. They spent several minutes going between making
out and sucking on each other’s shoulders. All the while dry humping through
their jeans.
 
Jeffery pushed up on Jensen’s hips, held him there, undid his pants and kissed
Jensen on the lips one more time before gently pushing him down, down, down
towards his aching member. Jensen kissed the tip of Jeffery’s cock before
taking it inside of his warm moist heat.
 
“Uhg,” Jeffery moaned out, combing his fingers through Jensen’s semi-long hair.
 
Jensen moaned around Jeffery’s member, he loved the sinful noises he was
causing to come from the older boy. He bobbed his head, swirled his tongue
around the tip and hollowed out his cheeks. Jeffery was falling apart, saying
syllables that didn’t go together. Jensen was in ecstasy.
 
“I’m gunna,” Jeffery got out. Jensen tried to pull his head off so he wouldn’t
choke on Jeffery’s spunk but Jeffery had his head in a vice grip, Jensen
couldn’t do anything to stop Jeffery when he rammed his cock all the way down
into Jensen’s throat causing the younger boy to gag as Jeffery shot off load
after load down Jensen’s throat.
 
Once he was finally released, Jensen threw himself onto the floor and attempted
to catch is breath. After a few moments he shouted, “What the fuck!”
 
“Shut up, bet you fucking loved it, queer,” Jeffery laughed.
 
Jensen was on the verge of tears, “why?” He asked pitifully.
 
“Not like it’s any of your business but my girlfriend’s on her period and won’t
let me get my redwings.”
 
Jensen picked up his clothes; put them on as he went up the stairs and out the
door. He was so angry that he fell for it again, tears streamed down his
cheeks, blurring his vision as he drove home.
 
Key in the ignition, messenger bag in the passenger seat, His taste in my
mouth. I’m out. I’m gay. I’m a whore.
 
About half way home Jensen pulled over. He dug in his glove box and pulled out
a cigarette and lighter. Sophia had left it there, but this was an emergency
and he would deal with her later.
 
The first puff made him cough but he didn’t stop, after his fifth drag he was
starting to get used to it. Jensen finally understood why someone would smoke,
it really did have a calming effect.
 
Jensen parked his car on the street, grabbed his bag, put out what was left of
the cigarette and headed inside.
 
“Hey sweetie,” His mother called, looking up momentarily from her book, “I
thought you were staying the night at a friends house,” she looked at the
clock, “it’s only 2 a.m., is everything alright?” She questioned.
 
Jensen ignored her and ran up stairs. He locked himself in his bedroom. He
looked at it, the bright blue walls, country music star posters, his perfectly
organized room, a direct reflection of his life before Jeffery Dean Morgan.
 
Jensen opened the second drawer on the left side of his desk and found his
scissors, exactly where they were supposed to be. He walked over to his locked
door and looked in the mirror, the face that looked back at him was not his.
 
Snip.
 
Snip.
 
Snip.
 
His hair fell in piles on the floor. His once goofy mop fell away and revealed
a new look, harder, more forceful, broken. He smiled a satisfied grin at the
mirror, what he saw in it was as completely and utterly fake as his
relationship with Jeffery had been.
 
He stabbed the scissors through the face of the old Jensen. He looked around
his room again. It made him sick, he grabbed the bookcase and threw it to the
floor, tore the country music stars off of his walls, and threw all of the
clothes onto his carpet.
 
His mother knocked on the door, “Jensen… Jensen,” She called becoming more
frantic.
 
He opened the door just a crack, “Yes?” He asked.
 
“Is everything okay? I heard a bunch of things falling,” the concern was so
startlingly obvious, it almost made Jensen cry again. Almost.
 
“Yes mama, I’m fine. Night,” He said before closing the door. He couldn’t look
at her right now. He had just lied to his mama. It was the first and most
obvious sign, that the old Jensen was dead.
 
He lay down in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He made a promise to
himself, ‘I will no longer be a booty call for straight boys! A straighty-
call.’
 
***
 
Rule #1 NO straight guys! EVER!
 
***
***** Hitler's Daughter *****
Jensen pulled the car up to the curb in front of Sophia’s house and honked. The
door flew open and a very irritated looking brunette in dark skinny jeans and a
shirt that was a size to small, came trudging towards him. She ripped the door
open and shouted, “What the fu-,” She stopped, look him up and down, “what
happened to your hair? And is that my fucking cigarette!?”
 
“No, Soph, it’s not yours because you don’t smoke anymore,” Jensen quickly
corrected.
 
Sophia resisted the urge to look behind her, “Oh, yeah, duh! Sometimes I forget
that it’s been…”
 
“Three months, yeah, very impressive,” Jensen covered.
 
Sophia’s mother glared at Jensen. “I thought you were a good boy, Jensen Ross
Ackles. Does your mother know you’re smoking?” Sophia’s mother growled.
 
Jensen and Sophia both flinched, “No, she doesn’t ma’am.”
 
“When you get home today, expect that she will. And Jensen, if you ever honk at
my house again like some kind of hoodlum,” She threated.
 
“Understood ma’am,” Jensen replied weakly.
 
“And you,” She accused turning her attention to her daughter, “you were not
raised in a barn, close the fucking door! And don’t you dare even think of
smoking again!” Sophia’s mother turned and walked back to the house; with a
grace only a former beauty queen could manage.
 
After they were about a block away from Sophia’s house she took the cigarette
from Jensen and took a very long drag. “How can I not smoke?” Sophia asked
sarcastically, “I live with Hitler reincarnated.”
 
Jensen laughed. Sophia’s mother was defiantly a trip and a half. Even when he
was a “good boy” she still found reasons to “correct” him.
 
“Now, Jenny,” Sophia started, obviously concerned, “Explain all of this,” she
gestured to all of him.
 
Jensen didn’t take his eyes off of the road, “Jeffery. Dean. Morgan,” he
punctuated.
 
“Jenny, if you were going to have a melt down, shouldn’t it have happened like
two months ago?” Sophia asked, handing the cigarette back to him.
 
“Happened again,” Jensen responded quietly, taking a drag.
 
Sophia’s eyes grew wide and her jaw hung open, “Aw, Jenny, why do you do things
like that to yourself?” She asked, hugging him around his neck.
 
“I don’t know!” Jensen exclaimed. He blinked his eyes several times, in an
attempt to hold back the tears.
 
“Okay,” Sophia started, determination clear on her face, “what are we going to
do about it?” Jensen looked at her; she had that evil grin on her face that
always made his skin feel itchy.
 
“What did you have in mind?” Jensen asked hesitantly.
 
“Well normally, I would say that you should wave a positive pregnancy test in
his face,” she started, “but that probably won’t work this time.” She fell
silent and spent the entire rest of the car ride in deep thought.
 
Jensen was starting to get worried. Sophia was never quiet; he almost felt bad,
but he quickly squashed those feelings, Jeffery deserved whatever Sophia came
up with, hopefully it didn't involve maiming but it very easily could. He
parked his car at the end of the parking lot as usual. Normally, it was because
Sophia wasn’t quite done with her cigarette, today it was because he wasn’t
done with his.
 
“Got it!” Sophia exclaimed, causing Jensen to jump and drop his cigarette on
the floor. After he managed to put out the cherry, which had fallen off, he
looked at her expectantly. “We destroy him, one layer at a time. Find out what
he likes and take it from him.”
 
“That sounds like the plot to a really bad romantic comedy,” Jensen deadpanned.
 
“It is, which is why it’s perfect, no one will expect it to happen in real
life,” Sophia was grinning that grin again.
 
Jensen shuttered and then smiled back at her.
 
***
 
Rule #2: Do NOT fuck with Sophia!
 
***
***** Step Three! *****
Jensen and Sophia walked up to the school, avoiding other students who were
just standing around, waiting for the bell to ring. Eventually they found a
blond and red head, who were seconds away from either making out or ripping
each other’s hair out.
 
“Ladies, well, I don’t know if that’s what you are,” Sophia laughed. Both women
turned to glare at her but were caught off guard by Jensen.
 
“Oh. My. FUCKING! God.” The redhead exclaimed.
 
“What did you do to yourself!” the blond shouted.
 
“It’s called a haircut, Danneel,” Jensen responded coolly.
 
“Explain, right the fuck now, Jenny,” the redhead demanded.
 
“Ruby! I just Fucking did,” Jensen exclaimed, “And don’t call me Jenny!”
 
The two girls looked at each other and then at Sophia. They crossed their arms
over their chests and tapped their feet in unisons.
 
“Morgan,” Sophia started. Both girls started talking and making wild hand and
arm gestures. Sophia held up her hand, “Again,” She added.
 
“Aww,” Danneel hugged him.
 
“Why did you do that to yourself again?” Ruby asked, joining Danneel in hugging
him.
 
“Soph!” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“Down girls!” Sophia commanded. “We, and by that I mean, I have a plan, are you
two in?”
 
“Duh!” They responded.
 
“First step, keep Jensen away from Morgan,” Sophia said, the other girls nodded
vigorously. “Second step, find out who Morgan’s dating.”
 
“Is there a third step?” Danneel asked.
 
“Yes, Danny, destroy that asshole,” Sophia smirked. Jensen, Danneel and Ruby
all took a step back.
 
‘Least I’m not the only one who hates that smirk,’ Jensen thought.
 
***
 
Danneel and Ruby pushed Jensen into the women’s bathroom when they saw Morgan
walking down the hall with his friends.
 
“Seriously!” Jensen shouted.
 
“Sophia said keep you away from him. I am way more afraid of what she would do
to me than what you would do Jenny. So deal with it!” Ruby retorted.
 
“Be right back,” Danneel called over her shoulder before slipping out of the
bathroom and back into the hall.
 
Jensen and Ruby flinched when they heard Danneel through the door. “Hey sexy!”
She shouted. “Wanna see what I can do with balls?” The hallway was silent the
moment that the words left Danneel’s mouth.
 
”BITCH!!!!” a female voice screeched.
 
“Oh, I’m sorry! Not my fault, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend! Calm the FUCK
down,” Danneel shouted back. A couple seconds later Danneel came back through
the door. “Amy ‘the peppy bitch’ Ashley, is his girlfriend,” Danneel told them
with a smile.
 
Ruby and Jensen gaped at her. Ruby shook off the shock first. “NICE WOORK!” She
congratulated.
 
“Eh, I try,” Danneel blushed.
 
Sophia pushed open the door, looked at the two girls for a second before
focusing in on Jensen. “You do know this is the ladies room, right?” She asked
with a raised eyebrow.
 
“What!?” Jensen exclaimed, “is it really!? I thought we were in Narnia!”
 
Sophia just looked at him with a look that said, ‘are you done?’ Then she
turned to Danneel, “Nice job, Danny. Step two is done. And because you’re so
amazing, you set up for step three without even knowing what it was.”
 
“What is it?” Danneel asked, cocking her head to the side.
 
“Start a rumor that her little boyfriend, Jeffery, is cheating on her. Are you
okay with being the home wrecker?” Sophia asked trying and failing at keeping a
straight face.
 
All four of them laughed. Danneel wasn’t very good at monogamy and everyone
already knew that.
 
“Okay, we have to get to class soon, we can’t start step three until at least
Monday. Step four is messing up his car, that we will start tomorrow morning.
Be at…” Sophia paused. None of them had parents that would understand or be
okay with what they were doing. “Ruby are you still feuding with Raven?”
 
“No, and it wasn’t a feud,” Ruby snapped.
 
“Good, talk to her and text me later,” Sophia responded, “if Raven’s okay with
it, be at her house tomorrow at six a.m.”
 
Danneel groaned, “Why so early?”
 
“That way we have time to plan and get to school on time, because I personally
don’t want my mother to kill me for being late. And she would too,” Sophia
stated matter-a-factly.
 
***
 
Raven’s house was in the middle of the suburbs, dark blue, perfectly manicured
lawn, and just like every other house on the street. At least until you got
inside; it was an odd mix of modern, carnival ride and country. There was a
mural of hundreds of chickens, some small and some huge, creating a topsy turvy
effect on the living room wall, that made Jensen nauseous.
 
Nothing matched and yet it all seemed to seamlessly flow together.
 
“Hey Red,” Raven greeted.
 
“Black,” Ruby replied.
 
“I know y’all are only here cause you can’t talk bout what ever it is at your
own houses, but can I help?” Raven asked.
 
“Sure,” Sophia shrugged.
 
“What’re y’all workin’ on?”
 
“Destroying Jeffery Dean Morgan,”
 
Raven looked at Jensen, “I’m so in!”
 
They spent the next half hour talking about different ways to ruin Jeffery’s
cherry red camero. Potato in the exhaust came up multiple times, but Sophia
squashed the idea every time. She wanted something more elegant.
 
They still hadn’t come up with anything by the time they needed to go to
school, but they agreed to meet back up at Raven’s house after school to
continue their ‘Study Group’.
 
***
 
Rule 3: The ladies room is an acceptable hideout
***** Step Four! *****
Saturday morning: Jeffery Dean Morgan’s house.
 
Sophia, Raven, Ruby and Jensen were hiding in the bushes waiting for Danneel.
She was only five minutes late when they saw her blond haired head bobbing
towards them. All four of them slapped their hands over their mouths to keep
from laughing.
 
“What is on your face?” Ruby whisper laughed.
 
“It’s called camouflage, Ruby,” Danneel replied smugly.
 
“Why are you wearing camouflage?” Jensen asked quietly.
 
“Shh,” Sophia chided, “doesn’t matter, don’t care. We got shit to do.” She
opened her bag. “Ruby, Raven, you two take the moths and figure out how to get
them in his car. Quietly! Jensen, here,” Sophia said handing him a Gatorade
bottle, “This goes in the gas tank.”
 
“What’s in this?” Jensen asked, just a bit to loud.
 
“Quiet!” Sophia hissed, “It’s Jell-O and diesel fuel.”
 
“What’ll that do?” Raven asked.
 
“Makes it look like he was retarded and put diesel in his own tank,” Sophia
stated.
 
“Got it!” Ruby quietly cheered. They all watched as she opened the previously
locked door, holding their breath and waiting for the alarm to go off. After a
few seconds, when it didn’t, they all congratulated her.
 
“Pop the gas tank door thingy,” Jensen struggled. Once it was open he unscrewed
the cap and dumped the Jell-O mixture in.
 
Sophia turned to Danneel, “How far are you willing to go?”
 
“What do you mean?”
 
“I was thinking of you keying ‘how could you give me the clap!’ on the hood,”
Sophia responded.
 
“Oh,” Danneel thought for a second, “How bout craps? I can get rid of those.”
 
“Speaking from experience?” Ruby asked.
 
Danneel glared at her and took the keys from Sophia before she asked, “Alarm?”
 
Ruby lay over the seats and fiddled around under the steering column for a
minute. “No worries.”
 
Danneel got to work, Raven rolled the window down a crack, Ruby turned on the
dome light and released the moths, and Sophia and Jensen let the air out of the
back two tires. They all cleaned up, turned the alarm and everything back on
and Danneel took the tiny wood baseball bat out of her purse and smashed the
passenger side rear view mirror.
 
The alarm sounded instantly, and they all took off running towards Jensen’s
house. Each of them took a slightly different route, so if any of them were
caught they wouldn’t all be.
 
Jensen opened the back door and let Danneel, Ruby and Raven in. Sophia had
already arrived, and was sitting on the couch with a bottle of water. Jensen
handed each of them a bottle and sat down next to Sophia.
 
“Jensen,” his mother asked tiredly, “what’s going on?”
 
“Sorry Mrs. Ackles, I wanted to try out morning runs and I forced them all to
come with me,” Sophia lied.
 
“Oh,” Mrs. Ackles yawned, “Jensen after your friends leave I need to talk to
you.”
 
***
 
After Jensen shoved Sophia out the door, she was worried about him and it was
nice but she couldn’t destroy his mother’s life, so she was a little out of her
element, he turned to his mother. She patted the cushion next to her and he sat
down.
 
“Sophia’s mother told me she saw you smoking,” she started, “I didn’t want to
believe it, but honey you have changed so much in the last couple months, even
more in the last few weeks. I’m not mad I just want to understand.”
 
“Mom there’s nothing you can do, okay? Yes, I am smoking but that’s it. I got
tired of all of that hair, and the color of my room. Okay?” Jensen asked.
 
His mother’s eyes started to tear up and then she got a stern look on her face,
“You will stop smoking. I will get you patches or gum or what ever other,” She
struggled, “Shit they have to help you. But you WILL quit, Jensen Ross Ackles.
Do you understand me?”
 
“Yes’m,” Jensen responded softly.
 
“I’m sorry, I missed that, what did you say?”
 
“Yes ma’am,” Jensen responded loudly.
 
“Good, now what do you want for breakfast?” She asked.
 
“Pancakes?” Jensen asked hesitantly.
 
“Okay. Go take a shower, and they’ll be ready when you’re done.”
 
***
 
His hair was still dripping occasionally while he was eating quietly across the
table from his mother. His father had cheated on her and remarried, Jensen
didn’t see him unless it was court mandated. She was doing the best she could
and until Morgan came into his life they had a great relationship, he could
tell her anything and he knew way to much about her sex life, or lack there of.
He missed it but couldn’t bring himself to tell her about how stupid he’d been.
 
“Why was Danneel’s face painted?”
 
The question brought him out of his own head. “Camouflage,” Jensen responded
with a small chuckle.
 
“For a jog?” She asked with a chuckle of her own.
 
“We are talking about Danneel,” He reminded.
 
They both burst out laughing.
 
***
 
Rule 4: Besties will surprise you, even though they totally shouldn't
 
Rule 5: Pancakes are better than olive branches.
***** All Hell Breaks Loose & Pete's Pizza *****
***
 
The next day at school was oddly calm. No one had seen Jeffery Dean Morgan and
without him the jocks seemed lost. No slurs were uttered, nerds put in lockers,
or “BRO!” screamed across the hall the entire day.
 
***
 
The following day was not calm, it was insane from the second Jensen and Sophia
arrived.
 
Ruby, Raven and Danneel ran up to the car. Ruby ripped open the Jensen’s door
causing him to fall out on to the pavement. “Amy Ashley is flipping shit!” Ruby
exclaimed.
 
A moment later police cruisers arrived with their sirens blaring. Police ran
from the vehicles, leaving their doors open.
 
Jensen pulled himself off the ground and the five of them ran after the cops.
 
The scene that awaited them shocked them all in to silence, each frozen in
place. Amy Ashley had her legs wrapped around Jeffery’s neck, pounding her
well-manicured fists on the top of his head. Jeffery was spinning in circles
trying and failing to get her off of him and not strangle himself in the
process.
 
“You cheating BASTARD!!! How could you do this to me!” Amy was screaming.
 
“Get off me! You’re a crazy bitch!” Jeffery kept yelling.
 
“Miss, please release him!” One of the cops yelled.
 
A cheerleader ran at the cop and started hitting him with her purse. “This
doesn’t concern you!” she shouted.
 
That seemed to bring the rest of the cheerleaders and jocks out of their
stupors because they began yelling at each other. The police and teachers were
trying to stop the growing fight. Everytime a fight was broken up three more
started.
 
Jensen took a step back to avoid being tackled by a girl wearing a ‘Team Gale’
shirt. She landed on a girl with a ‘Team Peeta’ shirt on and started slamming
her head into the pavement. The fight was beginning to get bloody. Finally the
principal grabbed the shotgun out of the policeman’s hands and shot a warning
shot into the air.
 
Everyone stopped.
 
“That is ENOUGH!” The principal started, “You are all young men and women! Act
your age!”
 
There was a moment of peace, everyone let go of what ever they were holding;
hair, shirts, purses. It seemed like everything was going to be okay.
 
“Fuck off old man,” Amy Ashley screeched.
 
The fight broke out again even more intense than before. The principal was
punched in the face and landed at Danneel’s feet, blood spilling from his nose,
creating a red pool under her shoes.
 
“Anyone else really hungry?” Danneel asked.
 
The four of them looked at her in shock and then shrugged. They started the
walk back down the parking lot.
 
“My mother would probably be happy if I didn’t join the fight,” Ruby commented.
 
“My mom will probably call me the second this is on the news to make sure I’m
not dead,” Jensen laughed.
 
“Mine’ll just be glad that I didn’t start it,” Sophia stated mildly, before
laughing so hard she fell into a car.
 
The alarm sounded immediately but in the chaos it was almost impossible to
hear.
 
***
 
They were eating at Pete’s Pizza; the pizza had just been delivered to their
table when every one of their phones started to go off.
 
#Sophia
 
”I swear to god if you caused that fight I will send you to your maker!”
 
“Hello, mom. I wasn’t involved in the fight.”
 
”You weren’t?”
 
“Nope, and I’m fine, fyi. I’m eating pizza with Jensen and the girls. Then were
probably going to hang out at Jensen’s. I’ll be home for supper.”
 
“You’ll… um… okay. Bye Sophia.”
 
#Jensen
 
“Sweetie are you okay!?”
 
“Yeah mom I’m okay. We saw the cops and heard the fight so we left.”
 
“You left? Where are you?”
 
“Pete’s. I’m going to bring the girls over after were done eating.”
 
“Okay. See you in a little bit. I’m going to check on that private school, bet
they don’t have the cops called to their school.”
 
“Mom-“
 
(Dial tone)
 
#Danneel
 
“Hello.”
 
Hello, do you have a few minutes to take a-“
 
(Click)
 
#Ruby
 
“Ruby! Why did you cause a fight! I thought we raised you better than that!”
 
“Didn’t fight. You didn’t. Bye.”
 
“What?”
 
(Click)
 
#Raven
 
“Hey.”
 
“Oh thank god. I thought I was going to have to identify you in the morgue or
something.”
 
“Nope.”
 
“What is but is not?”
 
“Mom seriously! I’m not a ghost. You know the newly ectoplasmic can’t take
corporeal form.”
 
“You’re right! Silly me.”
 
“I’m going to go now… see you later mom.”
 
“Toodles.”
 
(Click)
 
They all looked at each other. “I can not believe that I am even related to
her,” Sophia and Ruby complained.
 
“My mom is looking into private school for me,” Jensen muttered.
 
“My parents didn’t even call,” Danneel deadpanned.
 
“Least none of your parents thought you were a ghost,” Raven exclaimed.
 
All eyes turned to Raven, who just sighed before grabbing a piece of pizza.
 
***
 
Danneel’s parents finally called. She screamed at them for not calling sooner
before hanging up and throwing her phone across the room.
 
They were watching ‘John Dies @ the End’. Jensen’s mother had promptly left the
room after the doorknob turned into a penis.
 
School was canceled for the next several days because so many of the students
and faculty were in the hospital.
 
Jensen turned from his spot on the floor to look at his friends. All in all it
was a great day.
 
***
 
***** Sophia is SO not going there. *****
Two days later, school was still canceled and Sophia had decided to make use of
their third day off. They met at Raven’s house again, this time though Raven’s
mother stopped them two feet into the house.
 
“Um, Wha-“ Ruby started.
 
“Shh,” Raven’s mother interrupted, holding a silver box and waving it over them
like a metal detector wand.
 
After a few moments Raven walked into the living room and put her hand on her
hip, “Mom,” She scolded.
 
“Yes, dear?” Her mother asked distractedly.
 
“They are people, not people like, leave them alone,” Raven explained.
 
“How do you know?” Her mother whined.
 
Raven rolled her eyes, “We’ll be in my room,” she said before gesturing for
them to follow her.
 
“Keep the door open!” Her mother called.
 
“Is she afraid that Jensen is going to get handsy?” Ruby asked causing Jensen
to glare daggers at her.
 
“I wish,” Raven exclaimed before starting up the stairs. They followed her and
when she opened the door to her bedroom they all gasped. “What?” She asked.
 
“It’s so,” Danneel breathed.
 
“Normal,” Ruby finished.
 
“Wow, you two suck,” Raven retorted.
 
“So does Jensen, don’t forget about him,” Ruby laughed.
 
Jensen pouted, glaring had no affect but pouting always made Sophia all
protective. She didn’t let him down.
 
SMACK!
 
“Ow, what was that for?” Ruby complained, rubbing the back of her head.
 
“Leave our little gay boy alone,” Sophia commanded.
 
“Sophia!” Jensen whined.
 
“Shut it, Jenny,” She laughed.
 
They formed a circle on Raven’s floor and Sophia had that smile on her face
again that made them all nervous. “We did good, but we haven’t completely
destroyed him yet. Steps five and six will make him cry like a little bitch. Or
they will if we do them right,” Sophia told them.
 
“We aren’t going to, like, cut his dick off or whatever, are we?” Danneel asked
nervously.
 
“No, that would be illegal,” Sophia exclaimed, “plus, I don’t want to get that
close to him, just saying. No, step five is getting him kicked off all of his
sports teams. Which will leave him friendless and vulnerable.”
 
“You, are scary,” Raven informed her.
 
“Only when dipshits fuck with the people I love,” Sophia retorted.
 
“That sounds, well, scary and shit, but how exactly are we going to do that?”
Ruby inquired.
 
Sophia opened her backpack and pulled out a construction paper sign.
 
‘Mid-Season Try outs!’
‘In the north gym… WOO!’
‘We’ll miss you, Gordon!’
‘:*(‘
 
“Jensen, you’ll be joining the wrestling team,” Sophia stated, “Danneel,
football and Ruby you’ll be joining the baseball team. Gordon’s untimely death
has given us many opportunities.”
 
“Soph, I don’t know how to wrestle,” Jensen pointed out.
 
She laughed and pulled a book out of her backpack. When they saw what she had,
the girls laughed and Jensen groaned. ‘The Gay Kama Sutra.’ “Also happy
birthday,” Sophia said laughing again.
 
“I hate you guys sometimes,” Jensen mumbled looking away so they couldn’t see
the blush that appeared on his cheeks.
 
“Luckily we aren’t guys then, huh,” Ruby laughed.
 
“What about me?” Raven asked. A second later she added, “step five, not the guy
thing.”
 
“We will be working on step six,” Sophia responded, “Danneel you can help, but
football is your focus, okay?”
 
“Yeah, sure,” Danneel stated, “What’s step six?”
 
“Barrow his credit cards and buy things,” Sophia shrugged to herself; she would
so make the best super villain mastermind ever.
 
“OH!” Danneel exclaimed, “I know the perfect pair of shoes for step six, they
have studs and sequins and leather! So much LEATHER!”
 
“Sorry, Danni,” Sophia apologized, “we have to buy, ‘guy stuff’.”
 
Danneel instantly deflated.
 
“Why can’t I help with that?” Jensen asked.
 
All four girls cocked their heads at him. “Really wanna go there?” Ruby asked.
 
He sighed, they were right, “Fuck.”
***** CRY! *****

Author's notes: Sophia's POV
===============================================================================
***
 
Football try-outs were not going well for Danneel. She was obviously not the
right choice for this particular mission. Sophia was sitting next to Jensen and
the girls, visibly cringing every time the ball came at Danneel, who screamed
and ducked away from it. Finally it became too much for Sophia to deal with.
 
“Fuck it, Jenny, hold my purse,” Sophia exclaimed, throwing the Raso Ricamo
Framed Doctor’s Bag her mother had bought/forced upon her at him. She kicked
off her heels and ran down the bleachers. “Danni, go sit down. I got this,” She
commanded.
 
Danneel ran up to her friends, complaining about football, grass stains and
broken nails.
 
Sophia shook her head and walked over to the coach. “Coach, can I try out?” She
asked sweetly.
 
“Are you anything like your friend?” He asked looking down at her wardrobe with
distain.
 
Sophia laughed, “Which ones the quarterback?”
 
“Morgan, why?” He asked.
 
“Perfect, watch,” She said before taking off at full speed in Jeffery’s
direction. She bent just a little at her waist and slammed her shoulder into
his stomach, causing him to flip over her shoulder and land flat on his back on
the ground.
 
The coach blew his whistle and raised an eyebrow at her. “Morgan, pick a play.
Defense get behind the young lady,” he commanded.
 
They did what they were told and Sophia got into position, Morgan was going to
cry, and she was going to be the cause if she had anything to say about it. The
whistle sounded and she squeaked by the left and right tackle before smashing
Jeffery into the turf.
 
Jensen and the girls cheered their hearts out, except Danneel who was still
pouting about her nails.
 
The other jocks laughed at him and Sophia quirked an eyebrow at him. “Tommy you
suck ass! You’re supposed to keep me protected!” Jeffery complained.
 
“Mike didn’t do shit either,” Tommy protested, “Plus you always say we’re not
supposed to cock block you. She’s hot. Out of your league and H-O-T, hot.”
 
Jeffery grumbled and lifted himself back up to his feet. “Again,” he demanded.
 
“Fine, I’ll put you in your place again,” Sophia taunted, “Just don’t go crying
to mommy when your ass ends up black and blue.”
 
The coach blew his whistle again, “Cut it out and do another play.”
 
No matter what Tommy, Mike or Jeffery did the result was always the same,
Jeffery, flat on his back, with Sophia standing over him. Jeffery still hadn’t
cried and it was pissing Sophia off. ‘Okay, new plan,’ Sophia thought to
herself.
 
The next time the whistle went off Sophia dropped back, causing Tommy and Mike
to fall flat on their faces. She launched herself over them and hit Jeffery in
the knees, which caused his body to flip over itself and made Jeffery land,
face first, on Mike’s perky ass.
 
Mike jumped up, freaking out. Jeffery didn’t get up; he just lay there on the
turf. “Are you okay?” Sophia asked, wearing her best beauty pageant smile.
 
“Yeah,” Jeffery groaned.
 
Sophia’s smile morphed into an evil smirk. “Here, let me help you up,” She
said.
 
“No,” Jeffery screamed as she drug him to his feet. His reason for doing so
became quite apparent immediately.
 
“Cute,” Sophia commented mildly. The other football players looked at him and
then their jaws dropped.
 
“Dude!” Mike exclaimed, “That is so not okay!”
 
Jeffery did everything he could to hide his erection from his teammates but
enough of them had seen it. They all started laughing at him. His eyes started
to tear up and he turned and ran from them. Sophia did a mini-mental victory
dance. She knew that if she couldn’t turn him on, then he was entirely gay and
Mike’s ass was just waiting for a giant smooch.
 
“Hit the showers,” The coach commanded. Sophia started to head to the ladies
locker room but the coach stopped her. “Nice work today, were you serious about
joining the team or did you just want to lay Morgan out a few times?” He asked.
 
“Both?” Sophia asked.
 
The coach laughed. “What’s your name?”
 
“Sophia Bush.”
 
“Well, how would you like to be a linebacker, Miss. Bush?” He asked.
 
“If you never call me that again, I would love to,” She responded.
 
“Alright,” He cheered, “I’ll need to meet with you and your parents to get the
wavers and everything signed.”
 
“Parents?” She asked mortified.
 
“Yeah, unfortunately this is school doesn’t have a women’s team, so I need the
wavers signed so we can play against other teams,” he responded.
 
Sophia almost passed out. In that moment she remembered why she had asked
Danneel to do it. Hitler would never let her play football or anything else
that might interfere with the pageants.
 
***
 
“Mother!” Sophia exclaimed for the billionth time.
 
“NO!” Her mother shouted back.
 
“But,” She started.
 
“Are you not listening? I said no, end of discussion. You will break your nails
and put on way to much muscle and football is for BOYS! It is simply
unacceptable,” Her mother scolded.
 
“Mom, you redo my nails weekly anyways,” Sophia pointed out, “And, I can
already take out the other players. No increased muscle needed.”
 
“Sophia,” Her mother threated.
 
“Mother, I do you’re stupid pageants, wear these uncomfortable shoes and eat
six tiny fucking meals a day for you! I deserve, no, I demand that I be allowed
to do something I want to do for once!” Sophia screamed.
 
Her mother didn’t do or say anything for several moments, shock showed on her
normally frozen face. “Fine. But, if you lose the next pageant because of this
nonsense then you never bring it up again. And watch. Your. Fucking. Mouth,”
She punctuated.
 
“Yes mother,” Sophia said. She had won the battle, but she knew this war was
far from over. Sophia went up to her room and texted Jensen and Danneel.
 
‘Hitler said yes, mostly. Got HIS card!’
 
Then she sent a text to Ruby asking about how baseball went and texted Jensen
again to ask about wrestling team.
 
Ruby ‘On’
 
Jensen ‘Ban4life… :-[‘
 
***
***** What I Learned About Wrestling... *****

Author's notes: Jensen's time during CRY!
===============================================================================
***
 
Jensen’s throat was sore when he went into the wrestling practice room,
screaming for Sophia had really taken it out of him but he had to admit that it
was fun. Giant muscle bound men and scrawny little boys were already waiting
inside.
 
He sat down on the very edge of the mat, as far away from the others as he
could, while still being in the room. The coach pointed at him and one of the
muscle men, things only went down hill from there. Apparently the Gay Kama
Sutra is nothing like wrestling. Not like he was comfortable enough to just
grab random guys the way the book instructed, and every time he even thought
about doing it, he got weak in the knees, which made it easier to pin him.
 
If he was honest with himself, he didn’t exactly mind being pinned, but the
fact that this was part of his mission made him try to wrestle. Which lead to
him grabbing the other guy’s crotch and rutting back against him a few dozen
times.
 
The coach blew her whistle and was not amused, “You,” she shouted, pointing at
Jensen, “Are banned for life. Leave and don’t you dare come back!”
 
Jensen picked up his bag and bolted from the room. He sighed when he had made
it to a safe distance and then started a text to Sophia to tell her what
happened.
 
“Hey, come try out!” An overly perky voice exclaimed.
 
Jensen turned towards the noise and was surprised to see Amy’s little sister,
Ashley. “Me?” Jensen asked sheepishly.
 
“Yeah!” She exclaimed happily, “I heard you cheering for the scary brunette
girl.”
 
Jensen laughed, “Okay,” He conceded.
 
***
 
An hour later and Jensen was a cheerleader. He had mixed feelings, amazement,
that he could actually keep up with the other cheerleaders and annoyance at the
thought of what his friends would say when they found out. He pulled out his
phone and called his mother.
 
“Hi sweetie, how is wrestling going?”
 
Jensen blushed and was very glad that he had called her instead of talking to
her face to face. “Um, it’s not. I’m a cheerleader now,” he informed her
quietly.
 
“A cheerleader?”
 
“Uhm, yeah, a cheerleader,” he responded.
 
“seriously?”
 
“Yes, seriously! God mom, do you not think I can do it?” He asked.
 
“You don’t like cheerleaders. Why did you want to become one? Also sweetie
you’re not exactly the picture of happy-sunshine-ness these days.”
 
“Well, I,” Jensen started. He really didn’t want to tell his mom that he was
trying to destroy someone’s life, so he settled on, “Sophia made the football
team, and I wanted to cheer her on.”
 
“I thought Danni was trying out for football.”
 
“Mom, you know Danni, how do you think that went?” He asked.
 
“Ha ha. True enough.”
 
“Okay, well I just wanted to let you know what was up… Bye mom,” He laughed.
 
“Bye honey!”
 
“Hey, do you, like, wanna get ice cream with us?” A female voice asked from
behind him.
 
“Yeah sure, Ashley,” he responded.
 
***
 
That night Jensen got a text that said that Sophia was allowed to be on the
football team and had stolen Jeffery’s credit card. He also got one that asked
about wrestling and when he responded that he was banned for life he got
another text back.
 
‘WAT!’
 
‘Followd gay,sutra.’
 
‘:O’
 
‘m a cheerleader.’
 
‘Wat!!! Lol!!!’
 
‘>:[‘
 
‘Sry. Tat works. Nice job?’
 
***
***** Danneel's Boy's Toys. *****
***
 
Friday was upon them quicker than any of them could believe. Once again they
met at Raven’s house after school, luckily her mom was out so they didn’t get
tested for not-human-ness this time.
 
“Jensen’s a cheerleader!” Ruby laughed.
 
“Shut up,” Jensen yelled.
 
“Nice come back. Seriously though, you didn’t flame enough?” Ruby asked.
 
“Ruby, quit or I will say and do things that will make you cry like the bitch
you’re acting like,” Sophia informed her with a smoldering glare.
 
“Yes, mother,” Ruby muttered under her breath.
 
“I heard that. Wonder what I should tell your mother first,” Sophia threatened.
 
Ruby’s eyes bugged out and her face got pale.
 
Sophia smiled, “Now, I am on the football team. Jensen’s a cheerleader. Danneel
did you go shopping?”
 
“Yes,” Danneel said with a shit-eating grin on her face.
 
“For ‘guy stuff’?” Sophia asked skeptically.
 
“Yep,” Danneel nodded.
 
“Ruby did you make it onto the baseball team?” Sophia asked, turning to the
still unnaturally pale girl to her left.
 
Ruby just nodded.
 
“Danni, what did you get?” Raven asked excitedly.
 
“Well,” Danneel started, “I went to his Facebook page and bought everything I
could from his likes list.”
 
“Wow,” the others in the room exclaimed in unisons.
 
“What?” Danneel asked cocking her head to the side.
 
“Well, that’s really, smart, actually,” Jensen said.
 
Danneel glared at him, “I’m not an airhead! Just because I’m blond and hot,
doesn’t not mean I’m smart!” She yelled.
 
“Sorry,” Jensen replied sheepishly.
 
“So what was on his list?” Ruby asked, her shock obviously having worn off.
 
“I took a few liberties but a life time subscription to MAGNUM, new tires,”
Danneel laughed, “All of the Imagine Dragons’ CDs, and I ate at Hooters, which
was annoying, BTW. Those girls may have tits but they are airheads.”
 
“Wow,” They repeated.
 
“How much did all that cost?” Raven asked.
 
“Um, well two are maxed out. But I don’t really know. I hate receipts,” Danneel
explained.
 
“What about the third?” Sophia asked.
 
“I got shoppers remorse,” Danneel told her.
 
“There not your cards,” Sophia protested.
 
“Um, yeah, I know that, it’s just when I max out cards it makes me sad cause it
reminds me of the bills at the end of the month,” Danneel said.
 
Sophia opened her mouth to respond but Jensen interrupted her, “No, that’s
perfect. If all three were maxed it would look suspicious.”
 
“I was just going to say, way to go, Danni. Fuck,” Sophia groaned.
 
“Sorry,” he apologized.
 
“Yeah, yeah,” Sophia muttered. “Ruby, when is the next baseball game?”
 
“Um, tomorrow?” Ruby asked.
 
“Okay, aim for Morgan when you hit,” Sophia said.
 
“How am I supposed to do that? We’re on the same team,” Ruby exclaimed.
 
“I know! Jesus!” Sophia pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath
before continuing, “If he bats before you, aim for his face. Okay?”
 
“Yeah,” Ruby replied quietly.
 
“Oh, I almost forgot, I got you something,” Danneel exclaimed. She dug in her
bag for a few moments before pulling out a new baseball glove and shoving it at
Ruby.
 
“Sexy,” Ruby commented, “Thanks Danni.”
 
“Don’t thank me, thank Jeffery,” Danneel laughed.
 
***
 
The next day Jensen sat next to Sophia, Danneel and Raven on the bleachers. It
was Ruby’s first turn to bat.
 
“GO RUBY!” Jensen cheered. All three girls turned to him with raised eyebrows.
“What?” He asked self-consciously.
 
“Were the arm and hip movements necessary?” Sophia asked with a smile.
 
“I guess not,” He admitted.
 
Ruby tapped her bat on home plate a few times before getting into position.
Swing and a miss.
 
“Strike one!”
 
Ruby tapped her bat a few more times, shook her head and got back into
position.
 
“Strike two!”
 
She screamed loud and animalisticially before getting ready again. This time
the ball went flying, only a few feet above Jeffery’s head and into out field.
Ruby made it all the way back to home plate before the ball made it to the
catcher.
 
The entire crowd was cheering so loudly that it made their ears hurt, but they
didn’t care, Ruby made it home!
 
The next time that Ruby made it up to bat she hit the ball on her first swing.
It cup checked a member of the other team who had jumped in front of Morgan.
 
The time after that the ball hit Morgan’s shoulder but barely slowed him down
at all. The entire game was exactly the same; Morgan avoided every ball sent in
his direction. Ruby was getting angry; no matter what she did Jeffery would
just not be in the right place when she hit the ball. It was time to get
creative. Unfortunately, she didn’t get a chance to bat in the last inning. The
game was over, they had won, but there was still an unpleasant taste in Ruby’s
mouth.
 
The team surrounded her, all screaming their praises; apparently she had helped
them get most of their runs. When Jeffery came over to congratulate her, she
nodded and put a smile on her face that hurt it was so intense. Morgan started
walking over to the coach and Ruby saw her opportunity. She stuck her leg out,
just enough to trip him.
 
He fell face first on to home plate.
 
Her friends cheered louder.
 
***
***** The Final Step! *****

Author's notes: This is the final step... not the end of the story, promise!
===============================================================================
“So, now that the jocks like us and the coaches are more afraid of losing us
than they are of losing Morgan, we only have one step left. Step eight,” Sophia
informed them.
 
“Um what about seven?” Danneel asked.
 
“Step seven was part of step six. When his parents see his credit card
statements in a week, they will destroy him. We don’t have to do anything to
help with that,” Sophia responded.
 
“Oh, awesome. Anyone else kind of sad?” Danneel asked.
 
“Sad about what?” Ruby asked.
 
“Well, once this last step or whatever is done. What will we do? No ones really
done anything bad to us, except Jeffery, and he’s probably not going to be
alive much longer,” She responded, sending a pointed look at Sophia.
 
“We’re not going to kill him, Danni,” Sophia laughed. “But you’re right, it is
kind of sad, I’ve never felt this alive before.”
 
“Jensen you should go sleep with some other dude,” Ruby put in.
 
Smack!
 
Smack!
 
Smack!
 
Smack!!!
 
“OW! Jesus, I was just kidding,” Ruby complained.
 
Jensen glared at her. “Shut up and let the beautiful lady to my left speak.”
 
Sophia burped and then readjusted her bra. “Oh, me?” She laughed, “Yeah, okay,
so step eight is telling him the truth.”
 
“What!? We can’t do that!” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“No way!” Ruby agreed.
 
“Why!?” Raven asked.
 
Danneel laughed, “Sophia’s lady like. I get it.”
 
“After everything, you all still question me?” Sophia asked obviously hurt.
 
“Soph, it’s not that we don’t trust you or whatever. But what will telling him
do?” Jensen asked.
 
Sophia had her game face back on. “We’ve covered our tracks, quite well.
Telling him will make him angry, so he’ll tell people.”
 
“And?” Ruby interrupted.
 
“They’ll think he’s crazy. Everything we’ve done could have happened with out
us. His tires were flat. He accidentally put diesel in his tank. He left the
dome light on and the window cracked. We joined teams, he just happened to be
on, and we're better than he is. All of that is believable. But once he knows,
he’ll try to take revenge, and he’s not as good as us. He’ll say we started it
or something stupid like that, no one will believe him. We’ll smell squeaky
clean and he’ll smell like a chili turd, with a shopping addiction,” Sophia
explained.
 
They stared at her, in complete shock, not one of them had thought about the
big picture in such a way.
 
Sophia brushed off her shoulder and shrugged, “Yeah, I really am that good.“
 
They all laughed.
 
“So, are we just going to tell him or?” Jensen asked.
 
“Well, we have to wait until after his parents see the bill, so for now, just
continue what you’ve been doing,” Sophia responded.
 
“What about me? I mean besides a place to plot, what am I really doing?” Raven
asked.
 
“Well, if you want, you could spread vicious rumors about him. You’re nice and
liked by pretty much everyone,” Sophia responded.
 
Raven smiled for a few seconds and then her smile turned into panic, “What am I
supposed to say!? I don’t do rumors. Like, what should I say about him?”
 
“KISS,” Danneel responded.
 
“Kiss?” Raven exclaimed.
 
“Yeah, K, keep, I, it, S, simple, S, stupid. The best rumors are simple and
leave a lot of room for imagination,” She explained.
 
“Okay, so, like I heard he sprouted wood after landing on Mike’s butt face
first?” Raven asked.
 
“Yes, but that’s not a rumor, that really happened,” Sophia explained.
 
“I have some good cheerleader gossip. If you want I could tell you what their
saying and you could just spread it wider than they can,” Jensen put in.
 
Ruby giggled and Jensen glared at her.
 
“But their popular,” Raven protested, “How can I get it farther than they can.”
 
“They’re cheerleaders. Most people don’t listen to their gossip and actually
believe it. But you, people would trust. If you spouted the same garbage as
them, their claims would be seen as legit. Oh, I’m liking this,” Sophia cooed.
 
The others in the room moved away from Sophia slightly. “Besides the scary part
at the end, she’s right,” Jensen said, “If you told me that rain was a bunch of
winged rabbits peeing on us, I would believe it. The gossip is a lot more
believable than that, so it should be fairly easy.”
 
“Where did that image come from and how do I destroy that place?” Ruby roared.
 
“It was a dream I had last night. Don’t ask,” Jensen responded.
 
“Don’t tell. Your dreams should stay in your own head because now it’s invading
my mind and it’s far to sparkly for my taste,” Ruby grumbled.
 
***
 
A week later everyone was talking about Jeffery Dean Morgan and none of it was
flattering. Jensen fed Raven a constant stream of random gossip from the
cheerleaders and the gossip was never in short supply. Raven had managed to
make him public enemy number one, which also helped get the jocks on Sophia and
Ruby’s sides.
 
At football practice that day after school the coach called Jeffery over.
Sophia being a concerned teammate followed him over but kept a semi respectful
distance.
 
“Yeah coach?” Morgan asked.
 
“Morgan you’re grades are slipping. If you don’t fix them, you won’t be able to
play on Saturday. Do you understand?” The coach asked.
 
“Yes coach,” Jeffery mumbled.
 
“Is everything okay?” Coach asked obviously concerned.
 
“Nothings going right lately. I’m okay, and I’ll get my grades up,” Jeffery
sighed.
 
‘Perfect,’ Sophia thought to herself.
 
After practice she texted Jensen and the girls. ‘Meet 2nite. :D’
 
***
 
“My mom is going to kill me if I miss dinner again. What’s up?” Jensen asked.
 
“Morgan’s feeling the pressure. Tomorrow after school, we’re meeting to study
for a big test,” Sophia informed them.
 
“What test?” Danneel gasped.
 
“It’s not a real test. We’re kidnapping little Jeffery tomorrow, right?” Ruby
stated.
 
“Right. But were not kidnapping. We’ll wait for him after school, pull him
aside and tell him what’s been going on. Jensen you can’t be there, at least
not at first. Wait to show your pretty face until after he asks why we’ve been
doing this,” Sophia told him.
 
“This is so exciting!” Raven exclaimed, “Can I tell him about the rumors?”
 
“Of course,” Sophia laughed.
 
“And I can tell him about the credit cards?” Danneel begged.
 
“Yep,” Sophia responded.
 
“I love you guys,” Jensen said.
 
The girls turned on him and cocked their eyebrows.
 
“Did I say that out loud?” Jensen asked sheepishly.
 
“You did,” Sophia confirmed and hugged him.
 
Danneel and Raven joined the hug and eventually so did Ruby. “We are still not
guys you know,” Ruby stated.
 
***
***** Shock and AW! *****
***
 
3:30 p.m.
 
Sophia was becoming impatient; just how much tutoring could the teacher do
before realizing that Jeffery was a lost cause.
 
3:34 p.m.
 
Jeffery pushed the door open and started walking towards the parking lot.
Sophia and Ruby walked over to his car and leaned against it. A few seconds
later Jeffery saw them. “What’s up?” He asked mildly.
 
“Just wanted to see how you’re doing,” Sophia responded, fighting back a smile.
 
Jeffery stopped and studied them. “Doing with what?” Suspicion dripped from
every word out of his mouth.
 
“Well, we heard the rumors, you might get kicked off the baseball and football
teams,” Ruby put in.
 
“You’re good, it’d suck to lose you,” it sounded fake even to Sophia who had
said it.
 
Jeffery was brighter than Sophia had given him credit for. “You obviously don't
like me, so what's your game?" He asked.
 
“Our game is simple,” Sophia said.
 
“Destroy you,” Ruby finished.
 
Jeffery’s face turned red, “What the fuck did I ever do to you?”
 
“One second,” Ruby held up her finger at him while typing on her phone.
 
“Hi,” Jensen said coldly.
 
“You,” Morgan laughed. “Seriously?”
 
Danneel and Raven stepped around his car. “And us,” Danneel informed him. “Also
I think you lost these,” She said throwing his credit cards at him.
 
“I told rumors about you!” Raven exclaimed happily.
 
Sophia looked at Raven and shook her head. “You hurt Jensen and you obviously
don’t care,” Sophia told him. “I want you to know what we did to you. And more
importantly I want you to know that no one will believe you if you tell them.”
 
“We broke into your car,” Ruby stated.
 
“Ruined your relationship,” Sophia laughed.
 
“Maxed out your credit cards,” Danneel mocked.
 
“Stole your homework and replaced it with Danni’s,” Jensen added.
 
“Wait, that was my homework?” Danneel asked.
 
“Yeah sorry,” Jensen apologized.
 
“We also spread rumors about you and dropped your cell phone in a gas station
toilet,” Raven added.
 
“What the fuck!” Jeffery exclaimed, taking an aggressive step towards them.
 
“Go ahead and beat us up. That would be a hate crime on the little gay boy and
beating up girls will do awesome things for your already shitty rep,” Ruby
threatened.
 
Jeffery growled, bent over and picked up his credit cards, ripped open his car
door and yelled, “You will not get away with this shit!” before slamming his
door and driving away.
 
“That went well,” Ruby exclaimed.
 
“Better than I expected,” Sophia put in, “Question though, did you all really
steal his homework? And did you seriously drop his phone in a gas station
toilet?”
 
“No,” Jensen laughed, “I was in the moment and it just kind of came out.”
 
“Me too,” Raven chuckled. “Are we bad people?”
 
“Probably,” Jensen responded, “But he started it.”
 
“I need food, I’m thinking Chinese,” Danneel stated.
 
“Chinese?” Sophia asked.
 
“Yeah, if I’m a bad person, I want to eat good food,” She stated matter-of-
factly.
 
***
 
Sophia’s plan was working faster than even she had expected. By the next day
everyone thought that Jeffery was an asshole because he couldn’t handle girls
being better than him at sports. And since he wouldn’t admit their motives, him
hump-n-dumpin’ Jensen, no one thought that they had any reason to try and
destroy him at all. Even the teachers were done with him. They called him on
every minor infraction. Talking, not participating, anything and everything
they could use as an excuse to glare at him while still technically being
professional.
 
The jocks rallied around Ruby and Sophia, the cheerleaders around Jensen. By
the end of the day it became clear that no one was on Jeffery’s side.
 
Jensen saw him go into the men’s room and thought about going in there after
him but when he felt a hand on his shoulder he thought better of it.
 
“Thanks, Soph,” He said softly.
 
“I know this isn’t easy for you,” She replied.
 
He laughed a humorless laugh. “You always could read people.”
 
“You’re not people, Jen, you’re my bestie. And I listened to you pine over
Jeffery for years. I’m just sorry he didn’t live up to you’re expectations.” He
hugged her. A sob racked his body and Sophia squeezed tighter. “Wanna skip out
and just hang around somewhere?” Sophia asked gently rubbing circles on his
back.
 
“Yeah,” he responded against her shoulder.
 
“Okay,” She told him, slowly backing away from him. “Ruby!” She called.
 
“Yeah?” Ruby asked and then looked at Jensen. “Got’m”
 
“I’ll be right back Jen,” Sophia told him. She walked down the hall to Mr.
Winchester’s classroom. “Mr. Winchester, can I talk to you for a second?” She
asked.
 
“Yes?” Mr. Winchester asked.
 
“More, privately,” Sophia almost begged.
 
Mr. Winchester locked and closed the classroom door. “Honestly you’re starting
to freak me out, so out with it, Ms. Bush.”
 
Sophia held her tongue. She needed his help, so she would forgive the ‘Ms.
Bush’ thing for now. “Can you mark me and Jensen present today please.”
 
“Of course, if you’re here,” He responded bluntly.
 
Sophia groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose between her finger and thumb.
“Mr. Winchester, can you please just do this for me. I’ll explain everything
later.”
 
“What’s going on?” Mr. Winchester asked, becoming more concerned.
 
“Jensen needs me right now,” Sophia yelled, “Count us absent or don’t. I
stopped caring. Bye, Mr. Winchester.” Sophia marched over to the door.
 
“I’ll count you present. But I want an explanation tomorrow morning,” Mr.
Winchester stated.
 
“Thanks,” She muttered before going back out into the chaos of the hallway. She
went back to where she had left Ruby and Jensen but they weren’t there. Sophia
was seriously annoyed, today sucked! She pulled out her phone.
 
‘The F r u?’
 
‘Track’
 
Sophia pushed her way through the crowd to the back door and pushed through.
The sunlight hurt her eyes but she kept moving. She saw two people lying on the
grass next to the track.
 
“Thanks,” she told Ruby.
 
“Yeah, did you…” Ruby trailed off.
 
“No, I’m going to steal him for the day. Thanks again,” Sophia responded.
 
“No problem,” Ruby muttered before pulling Jensen into another hug. “Love you,
little homo.”
 
Jensen hugged her back a little tighter before letting go. Ruby meandered back
to the building and once she was inside, Sophia took her spot on the grass next
to Jensen.
 
After a few moments of silence. “That cloud looks like a giant cock,” Sophia
commented.
 
Jensen chuckled. “Ug, I want to mope. Why do you have to make me laugh?”
 
“Because you are the most important person in my life,” Sophia informed him,
“And when you mope, I get angry, which means that everyone else gets scared.
You don’t want to be the reason Danni flinches every time I’m within ten feet
of her, do you?”
 
“No,” Jensen replied softly. “Can we get out of here?”
 
“Yeah,” Sophia responded, standing up and pulling him up after her. “Any place
specifically you want to go, Jen?”
 
“Can we just drive?” Jensen begged.
 
Sophia had blink several times so she didn’t start crying, she hated when he
begged like that. “Of course.”
 
Jensen pulled out the keys and handed them to her. The walk down the parking
lot was quiet, not comfortable but not uncomfortable either. When they got in
the car, Sophia dug in her bag for her pack; she pulled a cigarette out and
then passed the pack to Jensen.
 
Is It Love started playing the second the car started.
 
Is it love, or just a curse
Do you feel good when I hurt
I need your heart to open up
If this love's not real, then it's just my luck
 
Mommy help me, I need your help
This little boy, he took my love
And he says these things that make my body pump up
But then he runs leavin me un-done
And I don't understand
For sex he said he'd be my man
 
Jensen sang softly along with it.
 
***
 
Eventually they found themselves at the lake. Sophia turned off the car and
looked down at Jensen, who had had his head in her lap for the last several
songs. “You really like P!nk, huh?” She commented.
 
“It’s like she’s singing to me, you know?” Jensen responded.
 
“Yeah. P!nk’s a tough bitch, just like you,” She smiled and combed her fingers
through his surprisingly soft spikes.
 
“I guess,” Jensen mumbled.
 
“I know its cliché and momish to say, but it will get better Jen. Jeffery’s a
senior, he’ll be out of our school and out of your life in just a couple
months,” Sophia told him.
 
“I know,” Jensen responded, sitting back up in his seat. “I just… I don’t know
if I’m ready for him to leave. He hurt me twice but Soph, I can’t stop dreaming
about a life with him… I’m pathetic,” he sobbed.
 
Sophia sighed. “Jen, he’s your first crush,” she started, Jensen opened his
mouth, “Celebrities do not count,” She added and he shut his mouth. “you’ll
probably always have feelings for him, but Jen, he’s not good for you, and I am
positive that Ruby, Raven and Danni would all agree with me when I say that I
will not let you date beneath yourself again.”
 
“Even if they’re really cute?” Jensen asked against her shoulder.
 
“Especially if they are really cute. It is always the cute ones that fuck
people up,” She laughed.
 
Jensen laughed too.
 
“Feel better?” Sophia asked.
 
“Yeah. We should probably get home,” he said sadly, “Can we smoke again before
we go?”
 
“No,” Sophia laughed before handing him the pack.
 
***
***** Ashley Ashley *****

Author's notes: WOOHOO! longness...
===============================================================================
***
 
The next morning Jensen felt better, he still liked Jeffery, still felt
horrible about what they had done to him, but he realized that Jeffery wasn’t
worth it, thanks in no small part to Sophia. He resisted the urge to put on
eyeliner and headed down stairs to have breakfast with his mom before school.
 
“No make up?” His mother commented pleasantly.
 
“No,” Jensen responded quietly, looking anywhere but at his mom and shuffling
his feet nervously.
 
His mother put down the plate she had been holding, took a deep breath and then
looked at him with a small amount of fear on her face. “Honey, the last time
you got like this, you came out. I love you, but if you don’t tell me what’s on
your mind, I may just keel over,” His mother informed him.
 
“I,” Jensen started, “Can we sit down?”
 
She nodded and pulled out her chair, before sitting down. He followed her
example and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
 
“I… I did something really stupid,” Jensen said, finding the table really
interesting.
 
“Well, I know you’re not pregnant, so what is it?” She joked.
 
He laughed, against his will. “Mom I’m serious,” He protested.
 
“I know, but Jensen, you’re my baby, my beautiful smart baby,” she told him,
“What ever it is, I’m sure isn’t as bad as you think it is.”
 
He took a deep breath and the words spilled out of him in one breath, “I slept
with Jeffery Dean Morgan, twice, technically. He’s straight and has a
girlfriend. Had a girlfriend. Which is also my fault. Sophia, Ruby, Raven,
Danni and I destroyed his life.”
 
“Okay,” his mother said. “That was a lot. And it is kind of bad. Let me get
this straight. You slept with a straight boy?” She checked.
 
He nodded.
 
“Twice.”
 
Nod.
 
“Then, you destroyed his life?”
 
“Yes,” Jensen whispered.
 
She got up and walked around the table, pulled the chair next to Jensen’s out,
sat down and wrapped her arms around him. “You fucked up, honey. It’s okay
everyone makes mistakes. I’m assuming this is why your beautiful hair is all
gone, your change in mood and the disaster, you call a room.”
 
Jensen turned into her embrace and sobbed into her shoulder. “Yes,” he said
between sobs.
 
“Let it out, I’m here for you, sweetie. I just want to understand why you would
make the same mistake twice,” His mother soothed.
 
Jensen just cried harder.
 
She held him and rocked him back and forth gently. “You’re okay. I’m not mad,
or disappointed.” She said.
 
Jensen pulled away and looked into her eyes. “Promise?” He begged.
 
“Promise,” She confirmed. “Want a brownie?” She asked.
 
“Yes,” Jensen said.
 
They sat at the table, Jensen stuffing brownie into his mouth, while his mother
cut off small chunks with a fork. “You know, eventually, I’m going to want to
know how you went about destroying Jeffery’s life,” His mother stated mildly,
before biting another chunk of brownie off of her fork.
 
Jensen started choking on brownie. The entire time, the only thought going
through his mind was ‘what a way to go.’ A few moments later he managed to
swallow and cough up the obstruction.
 
“Are you ready for school?” His mother asked looking at her watch.
 
“Yeah,” Jensen responded. He ran up to his room, grabbed his backpack and car
keys, then ran back downstairs, into the kitchen and hugged his mother. “Love
you.”
 
“Love you too, have a good day,” She responded.
 
***
 
The school was empty as Jensen and Sophia made their way to Mr. Winchester’s
class. A security guard was walking behind them. Jensen could hear his heart
beating in his ears, he felt like he was going to be lynched.
 
Sophia knocked on the door and they waited.
 
It opened and Mr. Winchester invited them in. “Thanks,” He said to the security
guard who just grunted in response. He sat on the corn of his desk, wrapped his
arms over his chest and looked at Sophia. “I was promised an explanation,” He
stated.
 
“Yeah,” Sophia confirmed. “Jensen had a bad day yesterday, he needed to get
away and I took him away.”
 
He cocked his head at her and then turned to Jensen. “Could use a few more
details. I did break one of the bigger school policies.”
 
“I slept with a straight boy. Use your imagination,” Jensen shot back.
 
“Ah, okay. I’m guessing that went about as well as when I slept with a
lesbian,” Mr. Winchester put in.
 
Jensen and Sophia’s jaws dropped.
 
“What, you thought I lived under my desk or something?” He joked.
 
“No, it’s just, you’re a teacher,” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“I’m also a person,” He shrugged. “I’m glad I could help you out yesterday, but
I expect to see you both later.” He got up and opened the door.
 
Sophia and Jensen just walked out of the room, to wrapped up in their own minds
to notice anything, until they got outside and were assaulted by Danneel and
Ruby, both screaming at them.
 
“Shut up!” Sophia shouted. When they did, she continued, “We’re fine. He didn’t
give us detention. You do look pretty in that dress and yes we’re staying on
the baseball and football teams. Did I miss anything?”
 
“Just me,” Raven joked. “Anything else I need to catch up on?”
 
“Danni got a new dress. Me and Sophia are staying on the teams. Jensen cried
yesterday. I had ramen for dinner yesterday because my mom got Botox and
couldn’t feel anything in any part of her body. My dad bitched about that for
like three hours,” Ruby rattled off.
 
“Jensen are you okay?” Raven asked.
 
“You actually heard that part?” Jensen laughed, “Yeah I’m better now. Also,” He
said turning to Ruby, “Gross!”
 
“You didn’t have to hear about it for three hours, consider yourself lucky,”
She retorted.
 
***
 
Jensen laughed. School had been over for half an hour, the cheerleaders were
making signs for the upcoming pep rally, Ashley Ashley was helping him because
he’d never made posters as a cheerleader before and the cheerleaders were
apparently very particular about how they had to be done.
 
“I can’t believe you miss spelled pep!” Ashley laughed.
 
“I’m sorry,” Jensen laughed, “I don’t spell pep often, or well, ever!”
 
“P-E-P,” Ashley cheered, and then burst out laughing so hard that tears started
running down her cheeks. “You are going to be the reason my mascara ran! You S-
U-C-K, suck!”
 
“You just spelled, PEP SUCK!”
 
“That doesn’t even make any sense!”
 
***
 
“Hey mom, is it okay if I hang out with the cheerleaders for awhile?” Jensen
asked into the phone.
 
“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing for the last couple hours?”
 
“Yeah, but I mean hang out outside of school,” He responded.
 
“Okay, be home for dinner.”
 
“What did she say?” Ashley asked.
 
“Be home for dinner,” Jensen said.
 
“WOOHOO!” Ashley exclaimed. “We should go get Mani Pedi’s.”
 
“Sure,” Jensen responded, “What’s that?”
 
The girls around him gasped dramatically.
 
“Wow, I was just kidding,” Jensen laughed.
 
“Oh god,” Ashley gasped, “that was so not funny.”
 
***
 
“Hey ladies,” The woman in the salon said. “And gentleman,” She added when she
saw Jensen.
 
“Hi, Ally, we want six Mani Pedi’s today, please,” Ashley replied happily.
 
“Okay, just give me a minute and we’ll be right with you,” Ally replied.
 
“So, where were you yesterday anyways?” One of the girls asked.
 
“Me?” Jensen asked, “Um, I was hanging out with Sophia.”
 
“Is she the scary beauty pageant girl?” She asked.
 
“She’s also on the football team, can you believe that?” Another girl put in.
 
“Sophia’s not really scary once you get to know her. Okay, maybe a little, but
she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And what’s wrong with her being
on the football team?” Jensen demanded.
 
“Um, football is a boy sport,” The girl replied like it was the most obvious
thing in the world.
 
“You’re joking,” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“No way,” she responded, “she isn’t going to get anywhere playing football. She
should be focusing on the pageants, those actually matter.”
 
“Amber shut up,” Ashley commanded, “Ignore her. She’s just mad because she
can’t be a beauty queen or play football.”
 
Amber huffed.
 
***
 
After their Medi Pedi’s Ashley drove Jensen back to the school so he could get
his car. “Thanks for inviting me, that was fun,” Jensen said admiring his nails
again.
 
“My pleasure,” Ashley responded. “So are you okay?”
 
“Yeah, why?” Jensen asked self-consciously.
 
“You just seem, off… I don’t know maybe it’s just in my head,” Ashley laughed.
 
“Can you keep a secret?” Jensen asked nervously.
 
Ashley drew an invisible X over her heart. “Cross my heart.”
 
“I,” Jensen started. Then he thought better of it and said, “Really like being
a cheerleader.”
 
Ashley laughed, “Wow, that is quite the bombshell!” She pulled up next to
Jensen’s car and parked.
 
“Thanks again,” Jensen told her before climbing out.
 
“You’re welcome,” Ashley responded.
 
***
 
For the next several days Jensen spent the mornings with Sophia and the girls
and the hours between the end of school and dinner with Ashley and the
cheerleaders. He was really starting to feel happy again, accepted and good.
 
“Hello! Earth to Jensen,” Ashley laughed.
 
“What? Sorry,” Jensen said coming out of his daze.
 
“What’s going on in your head?” Amber asked.
 
“Just thinking about how awesome you all are,” Jensen chuckled.
 
“I don’t mean to interrupt your conversation but we have practice to get to,”
The coach said sweetly.
 
The three of them got back into their places and stood completely still,
waiting for the music to start. When the coach was polite, it was a very bad
thing.
 
After practice Ashley ran up to Jensen. “What were you really thinking about
earlier?” She asked.
 
“I already told you,” Jensen replied to quickly.
 
“Yeah, but you didn’t look happy, you looked sad,” Ashley retorted.
 
Jensen sighed. “Can we go somewhere and talk?” Jensen asked.
 
Ashley hooked her arm around his and dragged him outside. They sat down at a
bench and Ashley looked expectantly at him.
 
“I slept with Jeffery,” Jensen blurted.
 
“What! When?” Ashley demanded, standing up angrily.
 
“Please don’t be mad,” Jensen begged, “I didn’t plan it, it just kind of
happened.”
 
“When,” Ashley shouted. One of the other cheerleaders came over. “Not now!”
Ashley growled at the girl. “When, Jensen!”
 
“A few months ago,” Jensen whispered.
 
Ashley screamed a high pitched “WHAT!”
 
“Ashley,” Jensen said.
 
“No, don’t you talk to me. My sister is in jail because of you! Don’t come to
practice tomorrow, HOMEWRECKER!” She screamed and then stormed off.
 
Jensen pulled out his phone. It rang twice. “Soph, I need you,” He said softly.
He couldn’t feel anything. His friend hated him and he didn't blame her at all.
 
***
***** How Come Your Not Here? *****

Author's notes: Sophia's POV
Little bit of mother daughter ness
===============================================================================
***
 
It took half an hour for Sophia to get to him. He hadn’t moved, barely breathed
and was completely numb.
 
“Jen,” Sophia said, “Jensen. Hey, Jensen look at me. Jensen, please. Jensen, I
need you to look at me, please,” Sophia begged. Tears started to form in her
eyes, she blinked them back. “Jensen. God damn it! Jensen,” Sophia ground out.
She shook his shoulder. No response. “Jensen, I’m sorry,” Sophia said before
smacking him in the face.
 
“Ow!” Jensen exclaimed.
 
Sophia grabbed the front of his shirt, drug him to his feet and pulled him into
a brutal hug. “Don’t you dare ever scare me like that again! Do you understand
me?” She demanded, a tear made its way down her cheek.
 
“Sorry, Soph,” Jensen replied softly.
 
Her shoulder was becoming increasingly damp with every second she hugged him,
but she didn’t care. “Jen, what happened?”
 
“I told Ashley that I-that I slept with J-Jeff-ery,” He sobbed.
 
“Aw, Jen, why did you tell her that?” Sophia asked softly.
 
“I thought that we were friends,” Jensen cried, “now she hates me Sophia. She
hates me and I don’t blame her, I hate me!” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“Jensen, stop crying,” Sophia demanded, “You are stronger than this. Better
than anyone who says shit about you. You will recover from this.”
 
“How,” Jensen asked, trying to stop himself from crying.
 
“Honestly, I have no idea. But you will, I’ll do my best to help you,” Sophia
responded.
 
“Why?”
 
Sophia smacked him again. “I love you, which is why I smacked you BTW. You are
a good person and if you can’t realize that, I guess I’ll have to smack you
into believing it.”
 
Jensen stared at her. His face hurt, but his heart didn’t hurt as much. “Okay,”
He responded. “I love you, Soph.”
 
“Love you too,” Sophia said.
 
***
 
Later that night Sophia sat in her bed crying. She should have done more for
Jensen. She made sure he made it home, yes, but that wasn’t enough. She should
have stayed the night, made him pie and held him while he slept like she used
to when they were younger.
 
“Sophia,” A female voice called.
 
There was a dip in the mattress and a hand on her shoulder. “Mother, please
leave me alone,” Sophia said.
 
“Sophia, I will do no such thing. What’s wrong?” Her mother asked. “Is your
plan to destroy that boy not working?”
 
Sophia’s head shot up. “You know?” She asked.
 
“You left this downstairs,” Her mother responded handing a leather bound book
to Sophia. “I remember when I gave this to you, you certainly like it better
than the purse,” Her mother laughed.
 
“Yeah,” Sophia responded. “You read it," It wasn’t a question, "I don’t care if
you did.”
 
“You do care,” her mother told her. “And I care about you, so stop stalling,
what happened, that made my strong, stubborn little girl cry?”
 
“Jensen. He’s hurting and I can’t do anything to help him,” Sophia replied, a
new round of tears rolled down her cheek.
 
Her mother put a finger under Sophia’s chin and made Sophia look at her before
she spoke. “Being there for him is more than most people would do.”
 
“Mom, what if he hurts himself?” Sophia whispered.
 
“Then you’ll visit him in the hospital, and when he gets better, you’ll do
exactly what I taught you to do to stupid people,” Her mother responded.
 
“Smack them,” Sophia cracked a tiny smile.
 
“Exactly. Sophia, not everyone in the world is your responsibility. You will do
everything you can for him, but you can’t blame yourself if he doesn’t do what
you think he should and something bad happens.”
 
Sophia’s mother opened her arms and Sophia crawled down the bed and into her
mother’s arms. “I must look like shit,” Sophia commented.
 
Her mother chuckled, “Watch your mouth. And I think you look beautiful, Sophia.
Caring is a beauty that no amount of make up or designer clothing can ever out
shine. Caring about people is not something I’m very good at, which is why I’m
glad you take after your father."
 
“Thanks mom,” Sophia said.
 
“Good night Sophia,” Her mother replied. She extricated herself from the hug,
stood up, brushed imaginary dust off of her skirt and left Sophia’s room.
 
Sophia laughed. Her mother was seriously messed up, but then again so was she.
Sophia dug around her purse for her phone, once she had it, she texted Danneel,
Ruby and Raven.
 
Sophia to Raven, Ruby, Danneel ‘The Jeffery thing isn’t ova. Nxt stp keep ppl
away from Jen.’
 
Raven to Sophia ‘y’
 
Sophia to Raven, Ruby, Danneel ‘He told Ashley he Fed Jeffery.’
 
Ruby to Sophia ‘wat!!!’
 
Danneel to Sophia ‘is he ok???’
 
Sophia to Raven, Ruby, Danneel ‘He’s not so gr8 rite now. Do dmage ctrl’
 
Ruby to Sophia ‘meaning?’
 
Sophia to Raven, Ruby, Danneel ‘wateva to keep him from da fallout.’
 
Ruby, Danneel, Raven to Sophia ‘Ok’
 
Sophia threw her phone back into her purse and walked over to her computer. She
logged on and went to YouTube. She found the song she was looking for and sent
Jensen a text.
 
Sophia to Jensen ‘Listen 2 how come your not here. Plz.'
 
The song was playing from her computer speakers and she sang along, stopping
only a couple of times to laugh because, because of Jensen she knew all the
words.
 
Just come on back
And come on home
It ain't super smart to leave me alone
Light a flare, pick up the phone
I'm like a stoner babe without my bong
 
Are you hiding in the closet?
Are you underneath the bed?
Did you go for a long walk off a short pier?
How come you're not here?
Should I worry you've been bitten?
Or somebody got you high?
Quick come back
Or I might just die
How come you're not here?
 
Sophia to Jensen 'Wish i was there...'
 
***
***** Tall, Dark and Goofy *****

Author's notes: Okay, this has Sophia's POV and Jensen's POV... so yeah... they
alternate, woo!
===============================================================================
***
 
(Sophia’s POV)
 
Sophia shoved a cheerleader to the floor. “Opsie,” She mocked. Sophia hadn’t
realized just how many cheerleaders there were in the school. They were like
locusts and rabbits and bitches! Every time they got by a group of them, there
was another group just standing there, glaring at Jensen. She turned to Ruby,
“Mr. Winchester’s class, now,” She commanded.
 
Ruby wrapped an arm around Jensen’s waist and led him down the hallway. Danneel
hit anyone who got to close with her purse; Sophia knew from experience that
bricks were softer, than that purse. Raven walked behind Jensen and Ruby,
randomly flipped people off and laughing like a lunatic.
 
Sophia turned on her heel looked for a blond, who was going to get the shit
kicked out of her, in the crowd. She spotted the correct blond and shoved her
way through glaring cheerleaders. “Ashley,” Sophia said.
 
“Crazy brunette,” Ashley responded. The girls around her laughed.
 
“Yeah, that’s me. How do you think I got that nickname?” Sophia asked coldly.
“Oh, that’s right, I beat the shit out of Amy. I think I might add another
Ashley to my list.” Sophia threatened.
 
All the color left Ashley’s face.
 
Sophia lunged at her, grabbed on of the other girls ponytails and ripped her
arm back. Sophia looked down at her hand; there was a giant clump of bottle
blond hair in it. A dark smile appeared on Sophia’s face and she looked up at
Ashley.
 
The other cheerleaders were frantically trying to stop Sophia, but they failed
and Sophia launched herself at Ashley, sending them both to the ground in
tangle of limbs.
 
“Don’t fuck with my friends, Bitch!” Sophia shouted at the girl under her. She
grabbed Ashley’s head and pulled it up, so they were breathing the same air,
their noses almost touching. “If you don’t get your peppy whores to stop
glaring at Jensen, I will finish what I started. You remember how Amy looked,
right?” Sophia threatened. She let go of the other girl’s head, stood up,
turned around, grabbed her purse off of the floor where she’d left it and
walked down the middle of the hallway to Mr. Winchester’s classroom. The other
students pressed themselves to the walls in an attempt to stay as far away from
her as possible.
 
“Hey, Mr. Winchester, can you teach us about biology?” Sophia asked, before
sitting down in the desk next to the one Jensen was in.
 
“Not really,” Mr. Winchester responded. “Why?”
 
“Fourth period is with Ms. Snap,” Jensen said softly.
 
“Uh huh,” Mr. Winchester commented.
 
“She is the cheer coach, there are a bunch of Cheerleaders in there,” Ruby
pointed out.
 
“Yeah,” Mr. Winchester sighed, finally getting it. “I’m sorry, ladies and
gentleman, but I can’t help you. And I am actually sorry.”
 
“Eventually I’ll have to face them. Might as well get it over with,” Jensen
commented sadly.
 
Sophia squeezed his hand. “I’ll be there. Across the room, but there. And I may
have threatened Ashley.”
 
Jensen smiled a small smile at her.
 
“You what?” Mr. Winchester exclaimed. “You know what, don’t tell me, I’d have
to report you and honestly that girl drives me up a wall. I heard nothing.”
 
***
 
(Jensen’s POV)
 
Class was worse than he thought possible. Every whisper was about him, not like
anyone was trying to hide what they were saying. Sophia did her best to be
there for him, but it was difficult to be there for him, from across the room.
Ashley didn’t do or say anything the entire class, for some reason he wished
she would spit on him, at least then he would know he mattered enough to her,
to spend her time torturing him.
 
Five minutes before class was over Jensen raised his hand.
 
“Yes,” Ms. Snap sneered.
 
“Can I get a pass to the nurse’s office, I don’t feel well,” Jensen asked
cautiously.
 
Ms. Snap seemed to ponder his question for a moment before replying, “Go.”
 
Jensen waited for a few seconds, unsure if he could just go, without a pass.
 
“Go,” Ms. Snap demanded.
 
Jensen sprang from his seat, grabbed his bag and bolted from the room. He
started down the hall. He looked behind himself, to make sure a mob of angry
people wasn’t following him. When he turned his head back to the front he
slammed into something hard and fell on his butt.
 
“Fuck,” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“Oh shit, sorry,” A masculine voice apologized from above him.
 
Jensen looked at the man in front of him. His neck hurt a little because of the
angle it was forced into so Jensen could look the giant, floppy haired man in
the eyes. “It’s okay,” Jensen blushed. He shook his head to get the naughty
thoughts out, quickly got to his feet and walked around the tall man. “Sorry,”
he called over his shoulder.
 
Jensen walked quickly down the hall and then turned the first corner he could
before taking off in a dead run. “Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!” He scolded
himself. He saw the bathrooms pass by him in a blur, stopped running and went
back to them. He pushed open the ladies room door and went inside and leaned
against the sink. His breathing was heavy and labored. “I have seriously got to
start working out,” he said to no one.
 
The bell rang and Jensen left the bathroom quickly. He pulled out his phone and
texted Sophia. ‘where r u?
 
***
 
5 minutes earlier
(Sophia’s POV)
 
Sophia was worried, annoyed and worried. Jensen had taken off really quickly
and said he hadn’t felt well; it made sense when all of the other people in the
stupid biology class were talking shit about him.
 
“Ms. Bush!” Ms. Snap shouted.
 
Sophia glared at her. “What, Ms. Snap?”
 
“Pay attention!”
 
“I was!” Sophia shot back.
 
“Oh, really?” Ms. Snap questioned, “What is the difference between RNA and DNA,
Ms. Bush?”
 
“Sophia,” Sophia corrected, “DNA is double stranded, it stores genetic
information long-term and is made of Adenine, Thymine, Guanine and Cytosine.
RNA is single stranded, stores genetic info short term and is made of Adenine,
Uracil, Guanine and Cytosine. Also, we aren’t even in that chapter yet. So, I
guess I don’t really need to pay attention, since I am ahead of the class.”
 
Ms. Snap glared and was about to yell again but was interrupted by the bell.
 
“Toodles,” Sophia called over her shoulder.
 
When she got into the hall, her phone vibrated in her pocket. ‘where r u?’ it
said.
 
‘jus lef bio. Where r u?’
 
‘freshman hallway.’
 
‘BRT.’
 
She walked quickly through the hallways, avoided freshmen and found Jensen
leaning against a wall. “You okay?” She asked.
 
“Better now,” He replied, hugging her.
 
“PDA!” a freshman laughed as he walked by them.
 
Sophia turned on the boy. “Punch Dumb Asses?” She asked.
 
The boy’s eyes got as big as dinner plates and he ran off in the other
direction.
 
“Your in a fighting mood today,” Jensen noted.
 
Sophia laughed. “Eh, maybe just a little.”
 
“Want to have lunch early today?” Jensen asked.
 
“That sounds nice,” Sophia replied.
 
They walked into the stairwell, walked through a door and were outside. “Where
would you like to go, ma lady,” Jensen laughed.
 
“Pete’s?” Sophia asked.
 
“Sounds awesome. Should we let Danni, Ruby and Raven know where we went?”
Jensen asked.
 
“They already know,” Sophia laughed, pointing to where they had parked that
morning. Three girls; a blond, a red head and a black haired girl were all
leaning against his car.
 
Jensen started laughing too. “Figures,” He commented.
 
***
(Jensen’s POV)
 
After lunch, Danneel and Ruby escorted him to their class. “Math, Woo,” Ruby
sarcastically cheered.
 
“Very funny,” Mr. Mann commented.
 
“I thought so,” Ruby responded.
 
They took their seats in the back of the class, Danneel on one side and Ruby on
the other of him. Mr. Mann stood next to the board and pointed at a really long
equation with at least half of the alphabet in it. He started to explain how to
solve it, when there was a knock on the door.
 
“Oh, shit,” Jensen whisper/exclaimed.
 
“What?” Ruby and Danneel asked in unisons.
 
“I ran into that guy earlier, literally,” Jensen explained. He felt his cheeks
get warm and tried to hide his blush from his friends.
 
“Jensen, you like him,” Ruby accused.
 
“Do you blame him? That boy is fine,” Danneel commented.
 
“Shut up,” Jensen told them.
 
The floppy brown haired man stood at the front of the class next to Mr. Mann.
“Please, welcome our new student,” Mr. Mann instructed.
 
Half hearted ‘hi’ s came from the students.
 
Mr. Mann sighed and turned to the brown haired man. “Can you please introduce
yourself and tell us something about yourself,” Mr. Mann requested.
 
“I’m Jared Padalecki and I don’t know. I, um, like chocolate?” The brown haired
man, Jared, shrugged.
 
Jensen smiled. Chocolate is awesome.
 
“No,” Ruby whispered at Jensen.
 
He turned to her, she was glaring. “What?” He asked innocently.
 
“You know what,” Ruby replied.
 
“Jen, he’s to cute to destroy,” Danneel complained.
 
Jensen sighed. ‘Stupid fucking hormones,’ he thought.
 
***
***** Broken *****
***
 
“Go ahead and choose your seat, Jared,” Mr. Mann said, “I was just starting to
explain this equation, how far was your teacher?”
 
“Um, like right in the middle of this chapter,” Jared responded.
 
“Oh, good,” Mr. Mann replied excitedly.
 
‘Anywhere but back here,’ Jensen thought.
 
Jared smiled at Jensen, walked back to the last row and plopped down next to
Ruby. “Hi again,” He whispered to Jensen.
 
“Hi,” Jensen sighed.
 
***
 
Class was finally over, Jared wouldn’t stop staring at him and it was making
Jensen feel really self-conscious. Jensen bolted out of class the second the
bell rang. He ran through the hall, down the stairs and into Mr. Winchester’s
class, thankful that it was the last class of the day and that all four of his
friends were in the class with him.
 
“Hi, Jensen, I didn’t know you were so excited about English,” Mr. Winchester
joked.
 
“Woo! English,” Jensen panted.
 
A couple seconds later, Ruby and Danneel walked in, laughing. “Wow, that was
very manly Jen,” Ruby told him.
 
“What was very manly?” Sophia asked from behind them.
 
“Jensen ran down here from math,” Danneel giggled.
 
“In a very flamey way,” Ruby added.
 
“Why?” Sophia laughed.
 
“A really cute guy wouldn’t stop ogling him. Which is so not fair, by the way,
that boy and I would have such beautiful babies,” Danneel sighed.
 
“Jenny ran right into him, literally, sometime before class, too,” Ruby
laughed.
 
Jensen blushed and tried to bury himself under his arms.
 
“Wow, that is very interesting,” Sophia commented, “Who is he?”
 
“Jared Padalecki,” Danneel sighed dreamily.
 
“Um, Jensen, I think I have really bad or really good news,” Mr. Winchester put
in.
 
Jensen’s head shot up. “No,” he exclaimed, “He is not in this class! Tell me
your joking.”
 
“Sorry,” Mr. Winchester replied weakly.
 
Jensen screamed. “Fuck. My. Life.” He punctuated, slamming his head onto the
desk between each word.
 
“I don’t suppose you could, I don’t know, put him as far away from Jensen as
possible,” Sophia commented.
 
“Who?” A masculine voice came from the doorway. All heads turned to the man.
 
“Fuck!” Jensen exclaimed again. ‘This day was the worst day ever!’ He thought
to himself.
 
“Is he okay?” Jared asked Sophia.
 
“We ask ourselves that every day,” Ruby laughed.
 
Smack!
 
“He’s okay. Just a tad stressed,” Sophia replied sweetly. She sat in the seat
to Jensen’s left and gave a pointed look to the three other girls in the room.
 
Ruby was sitting in front of him. Raven was sitting to his right and Danneel
was sitting in front of Sophia.
 
Jared looked at them and took the only seat left, near Jensen, next to Danneel
and to the right of Ruby. “It’s okay dude. I’m sure it will get better,” Jared
told him, smiling.
 
“Dimples,” Jensen whispered. He was freaking out, this guy was way to close,
way to cute and his jeans were way to tight for this shit!
 
“Yeah, I got dimples,” Jared blushed, showing his dimples off again.
 
The bell rang and Mr. Winchester sighed, “I really hope this isn’t the whole
class today.”
 
A few seconds later ten other students burst through the door. “Sorry,” They
said. A minute later five more students came in waving a yellow pass.
 
“Alright, today I want you all to write a poem or three, however many you can.
Don’t rhyme or worry about grammar. It’s a poem, have fun and let some stuff
out,” Mr. Winchester instructed. “We’re going to the computer lab, so grab your
stuff and let’s move out.”
 
“Yes sir!” Ruby saluted.
 
Mr. Winchester rolled his eyes, “Ruby, just go,” he deadpanned.
 
***
 
Two women on each side protected Jensen from Jared, unfortunately that didn’t
stop Jensen from feeling the other man’s eyes on him. It took a while but he
was eventually able to block out everything else. He couldn’t stop thinking
about Jeffery. It still hurt, so he wrote about him. All of the anger, sadness
and defeat he felt fell from him and on to the screen.
 
BROKEN
 
No future
No past
Just the present
 
Painful
Joyous
 
Each second
Tick
Tock
Ticking away
 
For better or worse
It ticks
No end insight
Gone
Dead
Here
There
 
Doesn’t matter
Not really
Life to death
White to black
First step
First word
First pet
First
 
So many firsts
Surprise!
The second time
Isn’t nearly as good
Time ticks
By
Bye
Hello
 
First love
First broken heart
Love comes
And it goes
Only the scars
Remain
 
Remains
Corpses
All of us
Eventually
 
Time heals all wounds
All hurts
What a cruel joke
Ha ha
See I’m laughing
With you
Without you
 
Without you
I am bent
Twisted
Burnt
 
I stood too close
To happiness
To love
 
Love it
It
Broke me
Fractured
My universe
 
Ending us
Ended me
Can’t you see?
Don’t you care?
Don’t you care!
 
Should you?
After everything I did!
Everything I did,
For you
 
No you shouldn’t care.
Why would you?
What was I
To think myself worthy
 
Worthy of you
Your touch
Your taste
Your smell
 
Your smell was my favorite
Masculine
Earthy
Hard
 
Hard to get over
To breathe
You!
You took
My breath away
My heart away
My universe away
 
My past
Didn’t matter to you
So I threw it away
For you
You said I was beautiful
Precious
 
Precious
To you
I was
Precious
 
Like gold
Silver
Diamonds
And red rubies
 
Red, red rubies
Drip
Where my heart
Used to be
 
Used to be
You would
Hold me
Kiss me
 
You would tell me
All these beautiful
Little nothings
 
Little nothing is all
I am
Now.
 
Baby
Come back to me
I’ll be better
Suck harder
Moan louder
Anything
For you
Baby.
 
No!
No,
You know what,
Forget that
Forget me
I don’t need you.
 
My universe is expanding
My heart is repairing
I don’t need you
To fix me
I did it on my own
With my friends
 
Real friends.
I love them
They love me
You’re gone
I’m here
Moving on
 
Move on
The end of us
Is the beginning of me
Free
 
Free to be
Who I am
Where I am
How I am
 
How am I?
Oh, you know
Smarter
Faster
Stronger
Happier
Better!!!
 
Okay,
Maybe not
But I will be
One day
You’ll just be a
Bad dream
I will be
Happy
And you’ll be
Nothing
To me anymore.
 
So goodbye
So long
Ta ta
I deserve better
Then to be
Broken
 
“Are you okay?” Sophia asked gently.
 
“Yeah,” Jensen responded. He hadn’t realized he’d been crying.
 
“Is it okay if I read it?” Sophia asked.
 
“Of course,” Jensen laughed.
 
***
***** Sophia Rules *****

Author's notes: sorry it's been so long, my internet has been a 13!+(#.... any
way hope you enjoy... Sophia's POV
===============================================================================
***
 
“Hi!” Sophia called.
 
“Hey,” Jared responded, stopping in mid stride to turn to the brunette woman.
 
“Can we talk?” Sophia asked sweetly.
 
Jared felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “Um, about what?” He
asked cautiously.
 
Sophia smiled, ‘he’s heard the rumors, darn’, “Jensen, what exactly you think
your going to do with and to him,” She responded, still smiling.
 
Jared fought the visceral feeling he was getting, “Okay.”
 
“Not here,” Sophia laughed. “After school, the track. Be there, K?” She
commanded.
 
“Okay,” Jared agreed nervously.
 
“Good.” She hugged him and felt his body tense. “Oh and before I forget, those
silly rumors you’ve heard about me,” She started.
 
“There just rumors?” Jared asked hopefully.
 
Sophia laughed, “In your dreams, pretty boy.”
 
***
 
After school Sophia was waiting at the track. She had sent Ruby, Raven, Danni
and Jensen to the mall to buy her birthday presents. Not one of them had
protested even though her birthday was three months away. She checked her
watch, 3:12. Sophia glared at the man when he approached.
 
“You’re late,” Sophia stated.
 
“I’m sorry, Ashley wanted to come with to protect me or something and I had to
convince her I’d be okay,” Jared responded.
 
Sophia silently studied him for a few moments. “You talked to her ?” Sofia
asked coldly.
 
Jared tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Yes,” he replied meekly.
 
Sophia smiled.
 
Jared took a step back.
 
Sophia laughed. “Dude, calm the fuck down. Also don’t talk to her, ever. Or you
will be in danger,” Sophia explained.
 
“What?” Jared exclaimed. “You can’t tell me who I can and can’t talk to!”
 
“Just did,” Sophia pointed out. “You like Jensen, you obey my rules or I’ll
make sure you can’t get within ten feet of him,” She threatened.
 
“You can’t do that!” Jared exclaimed.
 
Sophia cocked her head at him and crossed her arms over her chest.
 
Jared gasped. “Oh my god! You can do that?” He asked, making wild hand
gestures.
 
Sophia nodded.
 
He froze, took a deep breath and asked, “Other rules I need to be aware of?”
 
“Hurt him and you become a eunuch,” Sophia informed him.
 
Jared’s hands reflexively moved to protect his manhood. “Anything else?” He
asked hesitantly. ‘Couldn’t really get much worse,’ He figured.
 
“You will not touch him,” Sophia said.
 
“What?!” Jared interrupted.
 
“Shut the fuck up and listen,” Sophia commanded. “You will not touch him,
unless me or one of the girls is in the room to monitor. That rule will not
last forever but it will continue until I say other wise. Understand?”
 
He nodded.
 
“Dates will be group events, all six of us, plan accordingly,” Sophia
continued.
 
Jared raised his hand.
 
“Seriously?” Sophia laughed, “Okay, Jared what is it?”
 
“What happened? I mean I know that he’s your best friend but this seems
excessive unless something bad happened to him,” Jared explained. "Did
something bad happen to him?"
 
Sophia had to fight her urge to; cry at the reminder, take her anger out on
Jared’s face and call to make sure Jensen was okay. She took a deep breath,
“You’ll find out but that’s not my shit to spill. He’ll tell you when he’s
ready. Another thing, don’t bring it up. Ruby’s pretty good with a bat and
Danni can be distracted with shiny things so she won’t interfere,” Sophia
threatened.
 
“Got it. Can I. Can I, um ask him out, like, tomorrow? If I follow your rules?”
Jared asked hopefully.
 
“Sure,” Sophia responded. “Give me your phone.”
 
He handed it over without a second thought.
 
She messed with the phone for several seconds and then put it up to her ear.
 
‘The fuck is this?
 
“Ruby be less of a bitch,” Sophia responded, “This is Jared’s phone, don’t say
his name just save this number to your phone and tell Jensen that I’ll be at
his house for dinner.”
 
‘Yes ma’am!
 
(Click)
 
“Thanks,” Sophia said handing him back his phone.
 
“Um, you’re welcome? I guess,” Jared responded.
 
“Remember that the first few dates are group. I’ll send you a list of what the
girls love and hate,” Sophia told him.
 
“What about Jensen?” Jared asked hopefully.
 
“He’ll be at the dates, find out,” Sophia laughed. “Bye pretty boy.” She walked
away and could feel the boy glaring at the back of her head. She smiled.
 
***
 
“You what?” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“I talked to Jared, Jesus, you act like I lobed a nuke at the moon,” Sophia
retorted angrily.
 
“Lobed a nuke at the moon?” Jensen laughed.
 
Sophia laughed. “B rated 80’s Sci-Fi movies at two a.m.” She explained.
 
Jensen laughed harder and then realized that he was mad. “Hey! Fuck you! You
can’t control my love life!”
 
“Jensen, watch your mouth and considering your choices I’d say she can,” His
mother put in.
 
“Thank you Ms. Ackles,” Sophia cheered.
 
“Mama!” Jensen complained.
 
“Yes?” She asked, completely unfazed.
 
“Never mind,” He deadpanned.
 
“Finish your steak,” She told him.
 
“Yes mama,” He pouted, shoving another piece of meat into his mouth.
 
“Tell me about this boy my son is going to be dating, please Sophia,” Jensen’s
mother requested.
 
“Tall, pretty in a masculine kind of way, floppy hair,” Sophia informed her.
“This is great, Ms. Ackles,” Sophia complemented after taking a bite of her
brownie.
 
“Floppy hair? Like Jensen used to have?” She asked, sending a pointed look at
her son. “And thank you. They’re Jensen’s favorite.”
 
“A little longer and floppier. He seems nice enough, even agreed to follow my
rules,” Sophia replied.
 
“Rules!” Jensen exclaimed, “You made rules?”
 
“Don’t talk with your mouth full, you’re not hot enough for it to be cute. And
yes I made rules. You have some, why can’t I?” Sophia demanded.
 
“The rules I have are about me!” Jensen pointed out after he swallowed the
food.
 
“And?” Sophia asked.
 
“What do you mean, and?” Jensen demanded.
 
“Don’t take that tone with her Jensen, she’s trying to look out for you,” His
mother scolded.
 
“Thank you Ms. Ackles. I am trying to look out for you Jensen. Your rules are
cute but Jared’s, and I’m quoting Danni ‘so fucking hot I might try monogamy!’
You have less will power than she does. You wouldn’t stick to them so I made
some non-negotiables. Deal with it. Behave. And then you can be left alone with
him, it’s that simple,” Sophia explained.
 
“Fine,” Jensen replied begrudgingly.
 
***
 
Later that night Sophia texted Jared, ‘Wats ur email???
 
‘who’s this?’
 
‘Sophia : )'
 
‘Sry. Its gummimeplz@email.com’
 
‘Srsly? Ok check it in like 10.’
 
She threw her phone on to her bed after sending the message and went over to
her computer. She copy pasted the emails the girls had sent her into a message
and sent it to Jared with a message at the end, ‘Good luck, pretty boy.’
 
'No way in hell can he please everyone,' Sophia thought to herself.
***** Spazz Out. Interrogation. Rule Breaker. *****

Author's notes: Totally stupid but fitting chapter name. lol
===============================================================================
***
 
Friday night. Tonight was the night that Jensen had his date with Jared… And
Sophia and Ruby and Danni AND Raven.
 
“Fuck! None of this is even remotely good,” Jensen complained.
 
“Could always go naked,” Ruby commented.
 
Smack!
 
“Danni, pick something for him please,” Sophia instructed.
 
The girls had been waiting for Jensen to decide what to wear for almost an hour
and they were all becoming annoyed with him.
 
“What about this,” Danni said, “With this and this.” She held up a pair of dark
grey jeans with a few holes in them, a dark red button down shirt and a pair of
black sneakers that had red shoelaces.
 
“Where did you find those?” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“The ‘no way in hell pile’,” Danneel responded rolling her eyes. “Do you want
make up too?”
 
“No,” Jensen glared at her, “Well maybe. I don’t know. What do you guys think?”
He asked.
 
“I do not have a penis,” Ruby reminded him. “No make up.”
 
The other three girls nodded in agreement.
 
Jensen sighed and changed into the outfit that Danneel had picked out.
 
“Jensen, did you just change with ladies in the room?” His mother exclaimed as
she walked by the open door.
 
“Ladies?” Jensen asked.
 
“Nothing we haven’t seen before,” Ruby muttered.
 
Smack!
 
Smack!
 
Ruby and Jensen rubbed the back of their heads.
 
“Ms. Ackles, what do you think? He looks good right?” Sophia hinted.
 
“Yes. Such a handsome young man,” She cooed.
 
“Mom,” Jensen groaned.
 
“Fine, I’ll be downstairs. See you in a bit,” She responded.
 
Jensen turned on Sophia. “What did she mean see you in a bit?” Jensen demanded.
 
Sophia studied her nails. “I’m sorry, was there a please in there?”
 
“Sophia, please tell me what she meant,” Jensen replied, doing his best to hide
his annoyance.
 
“Rule thirteen. Must meet Jensen’s mom before the first date,” Sophia supplied.
 
Jensen threw himself face first on to his bed and screamed into his pillow.
 
A few moments passed. “You done?” Ruby asked.
 
Jensen rolled over and sat on the edge of his bed. “Yeah. Let’s get this over
with.”
 
“Wow, the excitement in this room is astounding,” Raven joked.
 
“May I?” Ruby asked Sophia.
 
“No,” Sophia replied.
 
***
 
The doorbell rang and Jensen got up to answer it, but Ruby beat him to the
door. “Sorry but we’re not interested in what you’re selling,” She laughed.
 
“Move,” Jensen scolded before shoving the red head out of the way. “Come in,”
Jensen said sweetly to the other boy. Jensen led him into the living room.
 
Jared fidgeted and had the urge to bolt. “Hi,” He said softly.
 
“Hello,” The women said in unisons.
 
“I wish I had popcorn,” Ruby laughed.
 
Sophia glared at Ruby who covered the back of her head with her arms. “Why
don’t you take a seat, Jared,” Sophia instructed.
 
“Um, okay,” Jared replied nervously.
 
Jensen stepped in front of the girls. “He has to meet my Mom. You’ll all
unfortunately be at the date, so leave and let him talk to my mom,” Jensen
instructed. When none of them moved he added, “Please.”
 
They got up and went into the kitchen, Jensen took a seat next to his mother on
the couch and Jared breathed a sigh of relief.
 
“So, Jared, tell me about yourself,” Jensen’s mother requested.
 
“Um, I… I don’t, um, don’t know what you want to know, Ms. Ackles,” Jared
replied.
 
“Let’s start with the reasons you like my son. From what I have heard you
haven’t had many interactions with him,” She replied.
 
“That’s easy,” Jared smiled at Jensen and continued, “He has awesome taste in
music, the report he gave on Led Zeppelin was insane. I never knew like half
that stuff. He has a beautiful smile,” Jared said looking into Jensen’s
mother’s eyes.
 
She smiled. “Yes, he does,” She agreed.
 
“I see where he gets it from,” Jared laughed.
 
She blushed “Thank you.”
 
“Mama, can we go now?” Jensen begged.
 
“Yes,” She confirmed, “Curfew is midnight.”
 
“Thank you mama,” Jensen said. “GIRLS!” he shouted.
 
“Thank you Ms. Ackles,” Jared said.
 
***
 
“A fucking buffet!” Ruby exclaimed happily.
 
“A fucking buffet!” Raven groaned. “These were on my hate list mister!”
 
“I’m sorry. But they have a salad bar for you and Danneel, steak for Sophia and
all you can eat for me and Ruby,” Jared defended.
 
Raven rolled her eyes.
 
“What about me?” Jensen asked.
 
“Um, I guess, I’ll find out?” Jared asked.
 
“All you can eat. That’s my favorite part,” Jensen informed him with a blush.
 
“He’s a bottomless pit. No gag reflex either,” Ruby put in.
 
Smack!
 
Smack!
 
Smack!
 
EPIC BLUSH!
 
“We want to eat,” Sophia glared. “Stuff your face Ruby and shut up.”
 
“Bottomless?” Jared asked examining Jensen’s butt. “I don’t think so Ruby,”
Jared said, wiggling his eyebrows at Jensen, who blushed harder.
 
***
 
“So full,” Ruby muttered.
 
“Fuller,” Danneel groaned.
 
“Need brownies,” Raven demanded to no one.
 
“That was so good,” Jensen put in, “Thanks Jared.”
 
“Seconded,” Sophia muttered.
 
“You are all very welcome, but we are not done yet. I have an hour left and I
really don’t want to waste it,” Jared said cheerfully.
 
“What’s next?” Jensen asked.
 
“Well, I was thinking a walk, but we could always do something else,” Jared
replied.
 
“That sounds awesome,” Jensen blushed again at all the attention he was
getting.
 
“To full to walk,” Ruby complained.
 
“To bad, we’re going for a walk,” Sophia told her. “On word!”
 
They arrived at a lake and Jared parked his mom’s van in the otherwise empty
parking lot. “Ready?” Jared asked Jensen.
 
“Yeah,” Jensen exclaimed excitedly. “Soph, is it okay if we go for a walk by
ourselves? As long as we stay with in sight of the van.”
 
“Fine,” Sophia agreed.
 
Jensen got out of the van and went over to Jared’s side. They intertwined their
hands and started walking to the sandy beach like area next to the lake. “Okay,
when I say go, run that way,” Jensen whispered pointing to his left.
 
“What?” Jared asked.
 
“Just do it,” Jensen commanded.
 
“Sophia will kill me,” Jared argued.
 
“You want to be my boyfriend right?” Jensen asked.
 
“Of course,” Jared exclaimed.
 
“Then do it. I’ll protect you from Soph, promise,” Jensen told him.
 
“Okay,” Jared chuckled.
 
“GO!” Jensen shouted.
 
They took off running, both laughing so hard they almost tripped several times.
They heard the van’s horn go off and Sophia yell. They made it to a wooded area
and Jensen grabbed Jared and pushed him into a tree.
 
“Shh,” Jensen giggled.
 
Jared nodded and put a hand over Jensen’s mouth to stop him from giggling.
 
“Jensen I swear to god when I find you, I will kill you,” Sophia shouted. “No,
no I won’t. I kill Jared and make you watch!”
 
Jared gasped.
 
“Found them,” Ruby called out. “Run, I dare you.”
 
“Um, no thank you,” Jared muttered before dropping his hand from Jensen’s mouth
and replacing it with his lips.
 
“You broke a rule Jared,” Ruby exclaimed.
 
Jared pulled back from the kiss; “I’m not allowed to touch him without one of
the girls monitoring. You’re one of the girls so I didn’t,” Jared replied
smugly.
 
“Cute, he’s smug. Jared drive us back to Jensen’s,” Sophia commanded.
 
***
 
Jensen and the girls got out of the van and started up to his house except
Sophia who leaned in the passenger side window. “One week,” She informed him.
 
“One week?” He asked.
 
“You are to stay away from him for one week, if you fail, you’ll never see him
again. I’m glad he likes you, you seem like a nice guy, but I haven’t made up
my mind yet and you helped him break promise. Night,” Sophia responded before
walking up to the house and letting herself in.
 
“Well fuck,” Jared muttered to himself.
 
***
***** K1S5 *****
***
“Sophia what the fuck?!” Jensen shouted.
 
“I’m doing it for your own good!” Sophia shouted back.
 
“This is bull shit! You can’t micromanage my life!”
 
“You had no problem with me micromanaging your Jeffery problem!”
 
“That was different!”
 
“Fuck that! It’s the same shit, just a different boy.”
 
“It’s no where near the same thing! Jared is funny and nice!”
 
“So was Jeffery! Look where that got you!”
 
“Look where that got me? Are you serious!”
 
“Yeah I’m fucking serious!”
 
“You think I need you to defend me? I don’t need you to defend me! You chose to
do it!”
 
“I didn’t choose to do anything! You were a mess! You cried everyday for
WEEKS!”
 
“So you had to do it?”
 
“Yeah! Because I fucking care about you! Fuck!”
 
“Fuck you Sophia! Protect someone else! Butt out off my life!”
 
“If that’s what you want, FINE! Just don’t cry to me when he destroys you! I’m
done! Fucking bitch tard!”
 
Last night’s fight replayed in Jensen’s mind all night; he didn’t sleep at all.
He cried, he screamed, he thought about apologizing. Instead he just laid in
bed, wondering how his life had gotten to this point.
 
The sun shone through his window, it was morning. He got dressed, made
breakfast and waited for his mother to get up. A few hours later she came down
the stairs in a robe.
 
“Jensen,” She yawned, “Why are you up so early?”
 
“Didn’t sleep,” He replied.
 
“You made breakfast? Pancakes,” She stopped and sighed. “What happened?”
 
“Sophia is mad because I didn’t obey her stupid rules,” Jensen snapped.
 
“And now you’re a ray of sun shine. Jensen that girl has been your friend since
pre-school. She’s just trying to help,” His mother reminded him.
 
“I don’t need her to help me,” Jensen exclaimed.
 
“Jensen, If you let a boy come between you, you are not the man I raised you to
be.”
 
Jensen screamed and threw his orange juice against the fridge. “Well sorry I’m
not what you fucking raised me to be!” He shouted before slamming the door and
taking off at a dead run towards the park.
 
He was fuming; mumbling to himself about how stupid his mother and Sophia were
when he ran into something hard.
 
“FUCKING HELL,” Jensen shouted.
 
“We have to stop meeting like this,” Jared joked. His voice was like a godsend
to Jensen just then.
 
“Do we?” Jensen asked coyly.
 
“Are you okay?” Jared asked.
 
“Yeah, peachy,” Jensen replied.
 
“Ug,” Jared groaned. “I really want to stay but Sophia said one week-“
 
“Fuck her,” Jensen interrupted.
 
“Woah! Wait, what? What happened?” Jared asked, helping Jensen up and leading
him to a bench.
 
“She was trying to micromanage me and I don’t need it,” Jensen replied.
 
Jared pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry.”
 
Jensen groaned, ”It’s not your fault. Can we just stay like this today?” Jensen
asked snuggling into Jared’s shoulder.
 
“Um, I would love to, honestly, and not just today, more like forever but
unfortunately; you know, school and shit,” Jared responded.
 
“Woohoo,” Jensen muttered.
 
***
 
Mr. Winchester’s class was the worst. The entire day had been hard, Ruby,
Danneel, Raven or Sophia was in every one of his classes and none of them was
speaking to him but Mr. Winchester’s class was by far the worst. All four of
the girls were blatant in their shunning of him. Jared tried but wasn’t nearly
as comforting as he tried to be.
 
“Mr. Winchester, can we kick out members who aren’t doing anything,” Sophia
asked.
 
“What do you mean?” Mr. Winchester asked.
 
“Ruby, Danni, Raven and I would like to our own group,” Sophia responded.
 
Mr. Winchester’s eyebrows rose. “Ah, I’m sorry. Groups have to be of six or
it’s an insane amount of work.”
 
“We don’t mind,” Sophia informed him.
 
“What about-“ Mr. Winchester started.
 
“We don’t care,” Jensen interrupted.
 
“Okay, let me get you a new packet,” Mr. Winchester replied clearly frazzled.
 
***
 
After school Jensen brought Jared to his house so they could work on their
project.
 
“This is your room?” Jared asked.
 
“Yeah do you like it?” Jensen asked shyly.
 
“Not what I expected, but at the same time it totally is,” Jared joked.
 
“Meaning?” Jensen asked, becoming defensive.
 
“It’s has an odd beauty to it, just like you, I guess,” Jared replied quickly,
 
“Oh,” Jensen blushed.
 
“Except this, this is odd,” Jared pointed out the scissors in the mirror.
 
“Long story,” Jensen sighed. Jared opened his mouth. “Not right now,” Jensen
interrupted.
 
“Okay… So where should we start?” Jared asked.
 
“How bout we choose an author,” Jensen replied.
 
“You have a favorite?” Jared asked.
 
“No, you?” Jensen asked.
 
“Not really,” Jared deadpanned. “Any ideas?”
 
“Um, yeah, I have an idea, but we’ll probably fail if we go with it,” Jensen
said.
 
“What is it?” Jared’s curiosity was peaked.
 
“Well, everyone else is doing book authors. But if you think about it, singer/
songwriters are kind of authors too… I don’t know, what do you think?” Jensen
asked.
 
“I like it, but who could we use?”
 
“P!nk?” Jensen asked.
 
“Who?” Jared asked softly.
 
Jensen gasped. “You don’t know who P!nk is?”
 
“Sorry,” Jared replied.
 
Jensen walked over to his laptop and turned on his playlist. P!nk’s I’m Not
Dead album started playing.
 
“Oh my god, I never knew who sang this song, it’s awesome! This is P!nk?” Jared
exclaimed.
 
“Yeah, she’s really great… This isn’t even her best work,” Jensen told him.
“Stupid Girls, stupid girls,” Jensen sang.
 
Jared joined in.
 
Jensen started laughing.
 
“What?” Jared asked.
 
“You,” Jensen said between laughs, “can NOT sing!”
 
“Shuddup!” Jared laughed. He grabbed Jensen’s arm and pulled the other boy onto
his lap. “Maybe this’ll shut you up,” Jared joked before pulling Jensen into a
kiss. It was gentle, just a pressing of the lips at first, but slowly it became
more heated. Jensen grabbed the back of Jared’s head and licked the seam of
Jared’s lips. Jared opened his mouth willingly and their tongues fought for
dominance. Both boys moaned.
 
Jensen pulled away first, panting. “Were you chewing gum?” He laughed.
 
“I was,” Jared giggled.
 
***
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their work!
the riot didn’t reach.”
 
Kabuto put a hand on the small of her back, leading her to walk with him. “Good
girl.”
 
Further evidence of the riot littered the stairwell; bodies of guards and
prisoners alike had fallen on the steps. Kabuto furrowed his brow in derision
as he nudged a corpse with the bottom of his sandal, clearing a path through
one heavily-crowded section. “What a waste,” he murmured, clicking his tongue.
 
“I only sense five chakra signatures, other than our own.” Karin followed in
his footsteps, carefully descending after him. “They aren't strong.”
 
“We’ll see what we find.” The door at the end of the staircase was locked, but
Kabuto possessed the key. With a turn, the lock clicked open. He stepped into
the room and looked around. “God damn it!” He shouted, grabbing a beaker from
one of the tables and throwing it against the far wall, where it shattered.
Those five chakra signatures came from stasis tubes, none of which were
inhabited by someone remotely close to shinobi age.
 
Karin stepped up to his side to see what angered him. She sighed and pinched
the bridge of her nose. Five children, five experiments. There was nothing for
them here. Lord Orochimaru could never inhabit such a body. The last three days
were a complete waste, and the sannin didn't have much time. The clock was
ticking. Beside her, Kabuto banged his fist against the wall. Rage was flaring
his chakra, rolling off his body.
 
“Take care of this, and we’ll leave.” He didn't look at her as he gave the
order. “This place is as good as abandoned. I'll send someone to clean up the
mess later.”
 
“We're not finished yet,” she reminded him. “Lord Orochimaru  will  get a
vessel.”
 
“I know.” He showed no sign of uncertainty. He watched Karin walk across the
room and open an access panel. With a flip of her finger, the machinery in the
room stopped whirring. Another switch brought further silence. A third, and she
turned to him. “My little fire, it might be best for you to return to Lord
Orochimaru. It will take another two days to reach the next base, and from
there, who knows?”
 
“No.” It was rare that she defied him. “I’m coming with you.”
 
“I wasn't asking.”
 
“Neither was I.”
 
Kabuto laughed then. “My dear, you've always been a bold one.” He shook his
head, entertained by her opposition. She surprised him further when she took
the lead, making her way up the stairs. How unpredictable. The moment he
thought he knew her every reaction, she would do something like this. “So full
of surprises,” he mused as he followed behind her.
 
There was a flash in her eyes as she glanced at him over her shoulder. She
couldn't read him in that moment. He was full of anger, desperation, and
anxiety for their lord. There was something else there, as well, that she
couldn't identify. It all combined and manifested just beneath his skin,
pulling his mind in different directions. He hid it well on his face and in his
voice, but she was too perceptive a sensor to be fooled.
 
Distraction wasn't something they needed during travel. Perhaps it was bold of
her, but she decided to step out of her usual comfort zone for his sake. She
doubted that he would mind. As they strode down the hallway, she reached out
and grabbed him by the wrist. With a swift pull, she tugged him after her,
through the open bars to one of the vacant cells. She turned her body so that
he collided with her, and they stumbled backwards a few steps as she took his
hair in her fists, pulling him down to her level. She kissed him with force,
more teeth than lips at first, rolling her hips into him.
 
This was the one surefire way she knew would center him and get him thinking
clearly. When it was over, that is. Her mind was having difficulty working as
it was, and she could only imagine what was going through his head. The slight
groan she pulled from him gave her some indication, though.
 
His hands found her waist, dragging her against him even though there was no
space left to close. It was all too easy to lift her, to wrap her legs around
his waist and put her between his body and the wall. The force knocked the wind
from her lungs, but the gasp that followed was a result of his lips at the
juncture of her neck and shoulder. Her fingers pulled the the from his hair,
 and she dared to grab a fistfull and pull, aligning his face with hers once
more.
 
Using pressure to keep her against the wall, he tore her hand away, pinning her
wrist above her head. She cried out, and he covered her mouth with his,
dragging his teeth over her lower lip. Her body shivered, and he smirked
against her lips in satisfaction. His fingers loosened around her wrist, and in
her ear he growled, “Leave that there.”
 
One by one, he undid the buttons of her shirt, working his way down from her
collar. His fingers brushed against her skin with each movement. Her fingers
opened and closed around air as she fought to keep still. She whimpered when he
unfastened the last button, just above her navel. Rebelliously, she reached for
the hem of his shirt, trying to pull it up over his head. He grabbed her by the
jaw and forced her face up to look him in the eyes.
 
“What did I just say?”
 
Her mouth opened and closed as her mind tried to form a coherent sentence. She
didn't have enough time to do so before he moved suddenly, taking her with him.
The cot he threw her down on was thin and hard, and her back screamed in
protest at the force of it. He straddled her, knees on either side of her hips,
and pulled his shirt off. She slid her arms out of her sleeves, and he didn't
stop her. It would be easier for her to undo the bandage from around her
breasts, so she sat up and made quick work of the fabric.
 
With a devilish grin, he snatched the fabric from her and pushed her back down,
moving further up her body. He tied her wrists together with the same precision
as he did everything else, securely enough that she couldn't free herself.
Karin cried out at his cruelty as he took his time trailing his lips and tongue
over her exposed skin. Her hips arched when his fingers found the button of her
shorts, giving him a little more room to strip her of the offending article of
clothing. He kicked off his own pants before he placed his hands on the inside
of her thighs, pushing them open.
 
Karin gasped when she felt his mouth on her. Predictably, he didn't give her
much time to settle into the sensation. When he nipped at her skin, her hips
gave a thrust against his face. He chuckled, and she could feel the vibration.
It was far too soon when he stopped, and she whimpered at the loss. He wiped
his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes shining with lust as he looked down
at her.
 
His hands stayed on her thighs as he moved against her. Her teeth clenched as
she felt him slip inside her, refusing to take some time for her to adjust.
Once he was fully inside, he drug his hips slowly back, only to snap them
forward. She screamed. His teeth bit down on her neck, but he didn't draw any
of her chakra. He sucked and worried the spot until it turned a deep purple,
standing out against her marred skin. He pulled back, and she dared to catch
his lips in a deep kiss.
 
He humored her for a moment, but when he moved away, his hand made contact with
her cheek, stinging at the same moment he thrust forcefully into her. Her eyes
squeezed shut. “Did I say you could do that?”
 
She shook her head with a whimper. His breath ghosted against her ear as he
demanded, enticingly close, “Are you going to do it again?”
 
“No,” she choked out.
 
“That's my good girl.” In what was clearly considered a reward for her
response, his hand slipped between their bodies, fingers dipping down to
heighten the sensation. She sobbed against her arm.
 
It felt like hours before he picked his pace back up, moving his hand out of
necessity. His fingers sank into the skin of her hips, bruising her from the
force. Tears welled in her eyes, and she blinked them away as she looked up at
him. “Please,” she begged, shifting her hips to make her point.
 
He paused in his work of discoloring a patch of skin on her left breast. “Not
until you say it.” He gave her a taunting smirk.
 
“God, Kabuto, please!” Her hips moved against his with desperation as he
stopped giving her what she wanted. “I need you!”
 
“And?” he prompted, allowing his fingers to brush up her thigh to her stomach,
then up to her breast.
 
“I'm yours!” Tears fell from her eyes when he finally moved, pulling her hips
up at a different angle than before.
 
“Don't forget that.” His voice was a low growl as he gave her everything he
had, feeling every reaction of her body. When she came, she arched against him,
screaming like her life was in danger. The way she tightened around him made
quick work of his release, and his hands clawed at the mattress beneath them as
he made his descent.
 
Panting, he moved off of her to sit at the edge of the bed. His hands gathered
his hair and tied it back again, and he untied the knot from her wrists before
he stood to dress himself. She sat up, trying to catch her breath.
 
Her clothes landed beside her on the bed, and she looked up to see Kabuto
straightening his shirt. “Put those on. We need to keep moving. I'll be waiting
for you outside.”
 
Karin looked through the bars of the cell, long after he disappeared from her
sight. Dutifully, she began to bind her chest once more. They had a lot of
ground to cover if they were to make it to the next base in a few days’ time.
Really, they shouldn't have wasted as much of it as they had; she should have
known better. Cleaning herself as best she could with what was available, she
hurried to dress so that she could follow, not entirely sure that he wouldn't
leave without her if she took too long.
Chapter End Notes
     Full disclosure: I was super nervous about this one. Please let me
     know what you think. It's one of the few chapters that serve
     exclusively as background. Would you like to see more of these, or do
     you prefer the glimpses we get in the present?
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Notes
     Ooh I need some temporary saving
     Ooh I need some, some uncomplicating
     Help me out
     'Cause I don't wanna do this on my own
     - Maroon 5, "Help Me Out"
The freezing wind of the Land of Iron felt like a thousand senbon on every
exposed inch of Karin’s skin. She drew her coat tighter around her body, trying
to find some warmth. Each step crunched through deep snow, even as she
concentrated her chakra at the soles of her feet. She never thought she'd miss
the Land of Fire.
 
Suigetsu was having the worst time of them all. His body was made mostly of
water, and he felt as if he was freezing from the inside out. The only visible
part of his body were his eyes. Pride had flown long ago, and he wore several
scarves and hats. Beneath the fabric, he hissed, “Send the Hozuki to freeze to
death. Great fucking idea.”
 
Karin could understand him, but just barely. “Suck it up. We're almost there.”
 
Sakura gave her an inquisitive look, but she shook her head. No one else had
heard him, and she didn't want to take the time to explain herself. They were
all cold, tired, and hungry. The promise of rest hung before them, carrying
them through the last of their journey. The Hidden Leaf had arranged a safe
house for them in the mountains, close enough for recon but far away enough
that they wouldn't be found on accident.
 
The house hadn't been cleaned any time recently. When the door opened, a cloud
of dust was dislodged into the air. It reeked of must, but the snow outside
kept them from opening the windows. Perhaps its only redeeming feature was the
well-stocked pile of wood by the fireplace. Sasuke was quick to ignite several
logs with his fire jutsu. Light blossomed in the small room, allowing them to
take stock of their surroundings.
 
It was Spartan in appearance and in comfort, with little more than a kitchen,
bathroom, and two bedrooms. There was no way to know how long they would be
staying; ideally, they would dismantle the cult with as little damage as
possible to life or property to keep the situation confidential. They couldn't
just run in and bring the place to its knees.
 
“We might as well get settled,” Sasuke declared. Sleeping arrangements had
already been established and didn't warrant repeating. “I'm going to check our
perimeter. Sakura, I'm sending you to the village to purchase us some food.
Karin, unpack our intelligence and put it in my room. Suigetsu,,, sweep or
something, would you?”
 
Suigetsu bit his tongue until Sasuke and Sakura had disappeared. “Sweep your
own goddamned floor!” He spat, scowling. “Entitled prick. Don't you just love
how we get tossed to the bottom of the barrel when Sakura’s here?”
 
Karin considered his question as she opened Sasuke’s pack. “Honestly, no. He
doesn't scrutinize us as much. Hell, he hardly notices us.”
 
“I don't know how you're not having a harder time with this.”
 
“Why would I? You may have your head up your ass, but you can't tell me you
haven't noticed how he's changed. His chakra is terrifying. If she wants him,
more power to her. I know better.”
 
Suigetsu gave an impressed whistle. “I'll be damned. I thought you'd be in love
with Sasuke until you died or something.”
 
“Not the first, not the last,” she mumbled, almost to herself. Suigetsu
pretended not to hear her, much to her relief. “Why? Would it make you feel
better if I was?”
 
“No. I just figured.”
 
Karin began to place several scrolls in her arms, taking them from the pack.
“Don't. You'll overexert yourself.”
 
“Fuck you, bitch.”
 
“You wish, freak.” She fumbled with the doorknob of one of the bedrooms,
managing to open it with her elbow and thigh. Her hip pushed the door open, and
she dropped the scrolls onto the bed. She pushed down on the mattress,
grimacing at how stiff it was.
 
Suigetsu watched her open the door to the other room, which she entered. She
left the room, entered the first, picked up the scrolls, and deposited them in
the second. “What are you doing?”
 
“Giving them the worse  room.” She hiked her pack onto her shoulder and brought
it into the first room. Suigetsu laughed at her cunning and followed her lead.
He was impressed. She was acting almost as petty as he could.
 
“I like it when you're petty.”
 
“Just as long as it's not at you.”
 
“No shit.” He set his pack down on the left side of the bed, which had become
his undeclared side. How weird was that? They had sides. What the hell was
going on?
 
Karin unzipped her jacket and hung it from one of the hooks by the bedroom
door.  Her scarf followed. Suigetsu was stubbornly clinging to his outerwear.
“Are you going to light the fire in here or what?”
 
Suigetsu followed her gaze and lit up when he saw the fireplace. “Fucking
sweet!”
 
“Why do you think I took this room for us?”
 
He blinked, trying to process the act of thoughtfulness that came from her, of
all people. Avoiding the topic, he smirked. “Sasuke’s gonna be pissed when he
finds out.”
 
“He isn't our leader anymore. He gave up his perks when he left us.”
 
“Have fun telling him that.”
 
The devil was in her eyes when she assured him, “I will.”
 
===============================================================================
 
Suigetsu found himself a comfortable space directly in front of the fire, and
he felt as though his entire body was being thawed from a glacier. He could
feel his skin once more, and it burned like hell, but it was there. Sasuke had
locked himself in his room to pour over the documents Karin had put out for
him. So far, he hadn’t mentioned the room situation. He either hadn’t noticed,
which wasn’t likely, or he chose not to say anything, which was even more far-
fetched. Odds were that Sakura had said something to placate him, probably
about Suigetsu needing a fire more than they did.
 
The Leaf kunoichi was in the kitchen, preparing god-knows-what for them to eat.
From what Suigetsu could see, she seemed to be a real health nut. He felt a
sudden nostalgia for their Team Taka days, when none of them knew their way
around a kitchen, and they ate at food stands more often than not. The food was
high in calories and fat, which they needed for energy during their long treks.
Most of what Sakura had bought was green or brown, and none of it looked
appetizing.
 
Karin had left soon after Sakura had returned, claiming that she had a
nondescript ‘something’ to do. He knew better than to ask. Sasuke arrived
before she did, and, if he noticed her absence, nothing was said on the matter.
It was beginning to get dark, and the temperature was dropping even further
than before. Just when Suigetsu was about to say something about it, the door
swung open, and Karin walked inside. She looked half-frozen, her hair almost
white from snow. She shivered, her entire body shaking.
 
“Took you long enough,” Suigetsu complained, although he didn’t know why he
went through the effort. Even though they were getting along, he couldn’t fight
the urge to antagonize her from time to time. Karin shot him a glare before
looking around the room. Finding it clear, she lifted the plastic bag she was
holding and reached inside. She grinned conspiratorily as she flashed him a
glimpse of a bottle. He scrambled to his feet and followed her through the door
to their room. The bag sat on the bed as she took off her coat.
 
Suigetsu slipped the door closed and opened the bag. Inside were several
bottles of sake. “So this is where you went,” he grinned.
 
In a low tone, Karin informed him, “If I have to spend time in this tiny hovel
with those two, I’m going to go insane. It’s better if I’m not sober.”
 
“You’re going to share, right?”
 
“Stay on my good side, and we’ll see.”
 
“Am I there now?”
 
“Barely.”
 
“I can work with that.”
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
Suigetsu passed the bottle to Karin, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor
across from him, in front of the fire. She lifted it to her lips and took a
long drink before passing it back. Dinner had been unbearable, full of awkward
silence and awful food. The pair hastily made their retreat, to who knows what
assumptions from the happy couple. Karin had produced a few granola bars from
her pouch, which was enough to fill their stomachs but not to counteract the
alcohol they had already started to consume.
 
“I can’t live like this,” Suigetsu complained. “I can’t eat that shit every
night. She’s going to kill me.”
 
“I’ve seen much worse try to kill you, and none of them succeeded.”
 
“None of them have been that awful.”
 
“Touche.” Karin laughed, a rare phenomenon that was definitely brought about by
the sake. Sasuke would be livid if he knew they were drinking this heavily on a
mission, even if it was only enough for a light buzz at the moment. She reached
for the bottle, but she froze in place to listen. A very distinctive set of
sounds were coming from the next room over. “Are you shiitting me?”
 
“Oi!” Suigetsu lashed his arm out and slammed his fist into the wall. “Go fuck
somewhere else! You don’t wanna hear us, we don’t wanna hear you!”
 
Karin snorted, covering her mouth. Crass as it was, it seemed to get the point
across. Less angry than she should have been, she demanded, “Why did you say
that? Now they’re going to assume we’re doing it, too.”
 
“Ain’t my problem.” Suigetsu took another greedy drink before finally passing
the bottle back. “So what if we were? Not like it’s illegal. And it’d probably
be a helluva lot better than what they’re doing.”
 
To his surprise, she didn’t deny it.  She shifted her hips from side to side to
scoot closer to him, leaning in conspiratorially. She started to speak, but it
turned into a laugh. When she composed herself, she half-whispered, “Do you
think he looks as angry as usual?”
 
Suigetsu did his best impression of Sasuke’s scowl, which had Karin clutching
her sides. She reached out and slapped his arm, which turned to water at her
touch. Rather than get angry, she shook her hand dry. “Don’t do that!”
 
“You asked.”
 
“Rhetorically! God!”
 
Mimicking Sasuke’s low tone, Suigetsu stated, “We must have the lights off and
be under the covers, for it's the way of the Uchiha clan to be boring and
uninteresting.”
 
“Stop!” she howled, drunkenly giving him more credit for his impression than he
probably deserved. From the other side of the wall came a loud thump. Suigetsu
hit back and made a lewd gesture at the wall.
 
Karin drained the last of the bottle and studied it, like it was a phenomenon
she couldn't figure out. “Should we?” she asked, glancing at the plastic bag.
 
“You're asking the wrong question.” He reached up and grabbed another bottle.
“It isn't ‘should we;’ it's ‘will we.’ And the answer to that is ‘of-fucking-
course.’”
 
“You have to admit, I'm a much better roommate than Sasuke. I can share.”
 
“I'd rather chew my own arm off than share a bed with gloom-and-doom.”
 
“I'm surprised you prefer me, with how much you hate me.”
 
The way she said it caught him off guard. “You think I hate you?”
 
“You don't?”
 
“No! I like to fuck with you, that's all. It's fun to make you mad. You get
this little crease just above your glasses, and your voice does this thing. The
stupidest things piss you off. I like to push your buttons.”
 
“Aren't you a little old to be pulling girls’ pigtails?”
 
“Why? You have something in mind?” The empty bottle flew through his head, and
water splashed around him. “Hey!”
 
“Stop it. I don't like when you joke like that.”
 
He frowned and scratched the back of his head. The only thing he managed to say
was “My bad.”
 
Karin eyed him before taking a drink from the new bottle. “Yeah, it is.”
 
“Can I ask what I did, exactly?”
 
“Don't joke about wanting to sleep with me. It puts me on edge, the same way
your jokes about Sasuke used to. I don't like it, is all.”
 
“Why would I joke about that?”
 
“You literally just did.”
 
“No, I made a joke about pulling your hair duringsex. There's a difference.”
 
“Enlighten me.”
 
When he kissed her, her first instinct was to shove him away, but he pulled
back before she had the chance. It was little more than a peck, and she could
tell that he was watching for her reaction by the way he was looking at her.
Karin swallowed uncertainty. Her hesitance showed, and his weight rolled back
from his knees until he was sitting down once more. He coughed into his hand,
trying to think of a way to explain himself or weasel his way out of the
situation.
 
She laced her fingers in his hair and pulled him forward, kissing him with much
more force than he had intended. Good god, the woman kissed like she was dying
tomorrow and going to hell. He briefly wondered if she was literally going to
be the death of him right then and there. Nothing like a massive heart attack
to take him out of commission.
His arms found their way around her waist. A moment later, and she was in his
lap. His heart was pounding. She pulled away so that they could both catch
their breath. Her teeth caught his earlobe and she breathed against the shell
of his ear, “I like having my hair pulled, by the way.”
 
He groaned into her shoulder. Yeah, she was going to kill him. He shifted his
body and leaned forward, bringing them both to lie on the cold, stone floor.
She hissed at the temperature change, and he vowed to hear that sound again. He
propped himself up on his elbows and began to unbutton the front of her shirt.
Hot damn, this was really happening. She helped him pull her arms from her
sleeves, and it was by the grace of the fire that her skin didn't instantly
chill. He pushed up from his elbow to his hands, taking a minute just to look
at her. “Wow.”
 
“I like that: wow.” She grinned up at him, appreciating his poorly worded
compliment. He settled himself back down and trailed his lips from hers down
her jaw and neck. When he reached that one spot where her neck and shoulder
met, she sighed, tilting her head. Taking this as an invitation, he lingered
there for a moment before testing the waters by nipping at her skin, careful
not to let his pointed teeth pierce her.
 
She went straight as a board beneath him, and her hands moved to his chest,
pushing him back. “I need you to get off of me.” It was clear that she was
fighting to remain calm. Suigetsu hurried to do as he was told, putting
distance between them and sitting back, trying not to look threatening. Her
hand covered that spot on her neck, and she looked blankly ahead, only half-
present.
 
God, he was such an idiot, “Karin, I'm sorry. I didn't even think about your
scars-”
 
“No, that's not it.”
 
“Then what? Because if I did something-”
 
“He used to do that.” The words left her lips without feeling like she'd spoken
them. “Bite and leave marks and bruises.” She worried her lower lip. “It just
made me… nevermind. It wasn't anything you did.”
 
“I need you to talk to me, Karin. Because I would really like to give it
another shot, believe me. But I can't if I don't know. That is, if you're even
interested, or if this was just a misunderstanding.”
 
“It's okay. Really. We can try again.”
 
“Not unless you talk to me.”
 
“Why do you want to know so badly? It's none of your business what he did.”
 
“I beg to differ, and so does your psyche.”
 
She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Fine. It made me think of him, and that's
the last thing I want to do. It brought me back to how he was. It was always
rough, hurried. Never gentle. And, dammit, I liked it. I liked the marks he
left on my skin because they reminded me that he had made them. I liked the way
my hips would bruise with the pattern of his fingertips. I liked the way my
back hurt, the way I ached. I craved it. It was so rare… never at the
base,where we could be found… and, God, if that didn't make it even better. I
wanted it more than I wanted to breathe.”
 
“And?”
 
Karin was silent for a moment. “He never stayed.”
 
“I want you to be honest with me. Did you and Sasuke-”
 
“No. I hadn't been separated from Kabuto for long, and I had hoped he would
come back. Loving Sasuke was something he could forgive; sleeping with him
wasn't.” She sighed.
 
“So you thought of him just now and felt that panic.”
 
“It's irrational, I know.”
 
“Hey.” He picked up her shirt and wrapped it around her shoulders. “He can't
get you all the way out here. And he can't get you back home, either, because
he'd have to deal with me, first.”
 
They were silent for a while before Karin dared to speak. “What does this mean
for us?”
 
“I don't know. That we're friends with benefits?”
 
“Making out isn't a benefit.”
 
“Speak for yourself,” he scoffed. “I'm more surprised you picked that to make
fun of instead of ‘friends.’”
 
“You're an idiot. I wouldn't share my smuggled sake with just anyone, you know.
You're growing on me. I hate it.”
 
“Of course you do. That's why you want a piece of this, right?”
 
“I've changed my mind.”
 
“Hey, now, don't be like that!”
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     She's back on drugs again
     Even though she knows it ain't right
     She can't even call up her friends
     And say "help me save my life"
     She's so ashamed of herself that she's come full circle
     Nobody understands what it's like to
     Be this girl
     So she disappeared, and she
     Wasn't clear, and she
     Didn't say where she was going
     - P!nk, "Save My Life"
Two weeks, and none of them had murdered anyone. It was a miracle, really.
Their saving grace was the developing friendship between Karin and Suigetsu.
With less infighting, there was less tension, and Sasuke didn't have the
burning desire to unleash amaterasu on the safe house. It was mildly
disconcerting that they seemed to have combined their efforts, which resulted,
more often than not, in an us vs. them dynamic that Sasuke wished he could
avoid. All the same, it weighed in his favor that their bickering had turned
virtually nonviolent.
 
Extended recon had turned up little that they could use to their advantage.
Karin had failed to sense more than ten people within the vicinity, and she
assumed that the majority of the group was away on some task or another.
Without permission from the Leaf to engage, the squad took turns observing on
the off chance that they could intercept their return. This far, they hadn't
been so lucky.
 
Karin felt the branch beneath her sag. Snow dislodged and fell to the ground
with the movement. She didn't need to look to know that it was Sasuke. She
straightened out of her crouch, her thighs screaming at her after so many hours
of inactivity. “Nothing,” she reported for formality’s sake, even though it was
obvious that nothing had been disturbed. He didn't respond, and so she looked
over at him. He was staring at her. She arched an eyebrow, which vanished
beneath her knit cap. “Yes?”
 
“Sakura seems to think you're mentally unstable.” That was blunt, but what
could she expect from him? “I can't risk this mission.”
 
“Your girlfriend needs to mind her own business. I'm perfectly fine.”
 
“You're not fighting with Suigetsu.”
 
“And you're taking that as a sign that I'm ill?”
 
“Explain it, then.”
 
Karin studied him for a long moment. “It bothers you, doesn't it? You can't
figure it out and it's driving you crazy.” He didn't respond. “I wonder why
that is.”
 
“Just talk to Sakura. Humor her.”
 
“I don't see why I should.”
 
“When did you become so difficult?”
 
“Probably about the third or fourth time you put my life in danger.”
 
He glared at her, narrowing his eyes. She didn't flinch. In fact, she squared
her shoulders and stepped closer, head held high. “You're the captain for this
mission, but you're not our leader. Not after you turned your back on us. I'm
not going to fall at your feet and kiss the ground you walk on. You were a
mistake.”
 
She was getting too bold. To cut her down to size, he pulled out one of his
more painful tactics. “And Kabuto?”
 
“Never tried to kill me,” she countered. “You can go rot in hell with him. I'm
done, Sasuke. Don't pull this shit with me.”
 
He towered over her and scowled. “Back down,” he ordered.
 
“You first.”
 
The pair stood still for several moments in a game of chicken. Neither of them
wanted to be the first to break. Finally, Karin gave him a twisted smile.
“Enjoy the night shift.” She jumped down from the branch and mentally dared him
to stop her. Her heart was pounding, but she didn't notice until she'd almost
made it to the safe house. She just stared down Sasuke Uchiha.
 
She felt the inexplicable urge to tell Suigetsu.
 
===============================================================================
 
There was a knock against the bedroom door. “Come in,” Karin invited without
looking up from the book she had laying before her on the bed. To her right was
a notebook, in which she was taking meticulous notes. Even if they were on a
mission, down time was more than abundant in this phase, and she decided that
she might as well be productive during this time.
 
Sakura cracked the door and looked inside. “Karin, can I talk to you?”
 
“About what?” She continued to write, turning the page as she did so.
 
Sakura glanced over at Suigetsu, who was huddled next to the fire, wrapped in a
blanket. Feeling her gaze, he looked over at her and arched an eyebrow. “Fuck,
I have to leave, don’t I?”
 
Karin’s “No” was drowned out by Sakura’s “Would you mind?”
 
His eyes flickered between the two women before he chose the path of least
resistance. Under his breath, he muttered something about “taking me away from
my damned fire” and “gonna kill me”. Sakura stepped to the side to let him
through. When he was gone, she stepped into the room and closed the door behind
her.
 
“What do you need?” Karin asked, annoyance prickling beneath her skin. She was
engaged in a section that could have extreme benefits for the newest Mitsuki
clone, and she was loathe to pause in her research. As it was, the look on
Sakura’s face prompted her to mark her page and close her book. “I’m not doing
therapy,” she warned.
 
“No, not that. That’s not why I wanted to talk to you.”
 
Now, that was strange. “Then what?”
 
Sakura looked down at her hands. “I'm late.”
 
Why the hell she needed to know that was beyond her. This wasn't worth
interrupting her research. She managed to keep her annoyance off of her face.
“Listen, I know you want to be friends, but you can't just come in here and
complain about your menstrual cycle. Now, if you need something-”
 
“Karin.” Sakura’s eyes were pleading. “I need you to make sure.”
 
The redhead looked over to her, suddenly understanding that this wasn't some
weird sort of small talk. She nodded once and closed her eyes, focusing her
senses. She could feel Sasuke’s chakra in the distance, large and cold, before
anyone else. Suigetsu was next, with his particularly powerful signature.
Finally, she zeroed in on Sakura. She had far less chakra, but her skill in
controlling it put her on a level with Sasuke; in battle they were the same,
but one could never guess by sensing alone. Karin allowed the chakra to take
form in her mind’s eye, scanning for any irregularities.
 
Suddenly, she felt it. A chakra signature that was distinctly Uchiha, hidden
almost entirely from her perception. Karin lingered there, desiring to be
certain before she said anything. Any fetus would predominantly carry the
mother’s chakra signature, creating a distinct pool of it in the abdomen. The
undercurrents of the father’s signature should have been almost imperceptible.
Yet, there it was again.
 
She opened her eyes. “You’re pregnant,” she confirmed, “but I’m worried. The
embryo is manifesting a good deal of Sasuke’s chakra signature. I’m afraid your
body might not recognize it and try to reject it. You’re early enough to
consider other options.”
 
“No.” There was no room for argument in Sakura’s tone. “Absolutely not.”
 
“I don’t have to tell you that this pregnancy could be difficult; you might end
up having complications.”
 
“I don’t care.”
 
Karin’s lips drew into a thin line, expressing silent disapproval. Medically,
she would never put the life of an embryo before that of the mother, but, then
again, neither would Kabuto. It was a fleeting, bitter thought, but it wasn’t
nearly enough to change her mind on the matter. To her, the embryo was a
parasite, and could be taken care of as such.
 
It was moot, nonetheless. Sakura had already developed a sentimentality with
it. The hand on her abdomen made that abundantly clear. “I’m not your doctor,”
Karin stated, “and I can’t tell you what to do. But, I will remind you that
we’re on an extended mission in a foreign land. This isn’t exactly the right
time to be carrying a child.”
 
“Nothing in my life happens at the right time.” The smile Sakura gave was
nostalgic, and she vanished to somewhere in the past for a few moments.
“Thanks, Karin. That’s all I needed. I… I’m going to go think of how to tell
Sasuke.” She seemed lighter as she exited the room.
 
Karin covered her eyes with one hand as she rolled them hard enough that they
ached. Great. Just great.
 
“The hell was all that about?”
 
She moved her hand away to look at Suigetsu, grimacing. “She’s pregnant.”
 
“Wait, what?”
 
“Sasuke knocked her up. On a mission. In the Land of Iron. Because nothing’s
ever easy for us, apparently.”
 
“So what’s she gonna do?”
 
“She’s keeping it. But, it has so much of Sasuke’s signature that I’m worried
her body will reject it. She says she doesn’t care. We’re stuck out here in the
middle of nowhere, so guess who’ll get blamed if she miscarries.” With both
hands, she pointed at herself. “I’m not a fucking midwife. She shouldn’t be
here. She needs to  go home .”
 
“Sasuke won’t let her out of his sight when he finds out.”
 
“I know. Welcome to my problem. Because it just  has  to be my problem.”
 
Suigetsu sat down beside her and offered her an unopened bottle of her sake,
which she took gladly. “If we ran, how far do you think we’d get before they
found us?”
 
“Not far. There’re traps all around the safe house, and I’m not too sure that
they’re just for keeping people out.” Karin took a drink from the bottle. “I’m
not delivering that damned baby.”
 
Suigetsu snorted. “Yeah, have fun telling  her  that.”
 
“No, because  she’s  the medic. Sasuke couldn’t keep it in his pants, and now
I’m a part of this? No fucking way. I’m not going to be in some twisted
polyamorous love-triangle where I get all the drama and none of the perks. I
want nothing to do with it. She can deliver her own damned baby. Or, hell, go
to a  hospital . I’ve got enough to deal with without any of this.”
 
“Come on, what if it was you?”
 
“I wouldn’t be having it. Plain and simple. It wouldn’t be an issue to begin
with.”
 
“Good point.”
 
Karin took her books and set them on the floor. Well, there went her
motivation. First Mitsuki, now Sakura. “Why do people keep coming to me with
their spawn problems?”
 
“Seeing as you just called children ‘spawn,’ I don’t have a damned clue.”
 
“It’s what they are.”
 
Suigetsu shrugged and took the bottle from her. She protested, but he informed
her, “I don’t need you getting shitty and ranting about children all day.
You’re a crap shoot when you’re drunk; you either lighten up or become a total
bitch. Not risking that right now.”
 
“Sakura Haruno just came into my room and talked to me about her menstrual
cycle. I deserve it.”
 
“You need to find a better coping mechanism. Some other way to relieve the
tension.”
 
“I could kick your ass.”
 
“Yeah, no. But I could think of something else for us to do…”
 
“In your dreams.” After their drunken mishap, Karin had refused every advance
he’d made. It was beyond frustrating. In fact, the odds of it happening in his
dreams were rather high.
 
“Fine,” he huffed. “Learn to paint or some shit, then.”
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Notes
     She paints her fingers with a close precision
     He starts to notice empty bottles of gin
     And takes a moment to assess the sins she’s paid for
     A lonely speaker in a conversation
     Her words were swimming through his ears again
     There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for
     - Panic! at the Disco, "The Ballad Of Mona Lisa"
Sakura sat on the issue for three weeks. She wouldn’t say why she hadn’t told
Sasuke, only that she was waiting for the best opportunity. Karin wondered if
she wasn’t considering terminating the pregnancy, after all. But to ask would
be to get involved, and that was one thing she refused to do. This was none of
her business, and it certainly wasn’t her problem.
 
Then, one morning, Sasuke was particularly cheerful at breakfast. He was
smiling, and she found it deeply unnerving. He scowled, smirked, but never
smiled. It made him look almost manic. Happiness didn’t suit him.
 
“You sick or something?” Suigetsu asked callously, picking up on the strange
energy that was coming from his aura.
 
A flicker of anger ghosted across his face, but it was gone as soon as it
appeared. “I’m happy, Suigetsu. It’s a human emotion that you’ve probably never
experienced.” Even his jab was light-hearted. What the hell? “Sakura told me
some good news last night.”
 
“We can get the hell out of here?” Suigetsu knew what the answer was, of
course, but he couldn’t resist.
 
“No. Sakura’s pregnant.”
 
“Oh, yeah. That. ‘Bout time you figured it out.”
 
“You knew?”
 
“Karin told me.”
 
Sasuke looked over at the redhead, who snorted in derision. “What, you want me
to just stop sensing now?”
 
“How long have you known?”
 
Sakura spoke for Karin, trying to take most of the blame. “Three weeks.”
 
“Three weeks? And you told me yesterday?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and
sighed. “Okay. That doesn't matter now. It's not important.” He shook his head.
“It's good that we have you here, Karin. Sakura can only do so much to take
care of herself. I expect you to be there for her and help her and the baby
stay healthy.”
 
“That's not why I'm here. If she needs care, she should be going to a hospital.
No offense, Sakura.”
 
“Did you really just look me in the eye and tell me you're not going to help my
wife and child?” Now she’d set him off. He was throwing a temper tantrum, and
it annoyed her to no end.
 
“I’m not at your beck and call, Sasuke. You can’t tell me to jump and expect me
to say how high. I have some dignity, you know!”
 
“That’s not what Kabuto told me,” Sasuke spat. His words slowly sank in, and he
could see the rage in her eyes subside into horror. Her posture became less
rigid, and she leaned back from him.
 
“What?” her voice was barely audible. Silence reigned over the room, and all
eyes were on Sasuke. Sakura stood behind him, filled with confusion. Suigetsu
clenched and unclenched his fist, refusing to make eye contact with the Uchiha.
 
“Don’t tell me you thought no one knew.” The blank look she gave him had him
bark out a bitter laugh. “He talked about you like you were his little pet. I
never left Lord Orochimaru’s side. Naturally, Kabuto talked. Your mission to
the Northern base, the espionage stint in Kirigakure?”
 
Karin felt the color drain from her face. She didn’t know what to say, how to
react. She wanted to fall to her knees, but she forced herself to remain
standing. Her stomach churned. Eventually, she could hear nothing but the sound
of blood roaring in her ears.
 
Suigetsu snarled, “You knew ?!” He shot forward, grabbing Sasuke by the front
of his cloak and pulling him down to face level. “You fucking knew and you
didn’t do a goddamned thing about it?!”
 
Sasuke smirked and glanced at Karin. “She wouldn’t have wanted me to. I did
enough by bringing her along on Taka. And you didn’t even want that, did you,
Karin?”
 
“Sasuke!” Sakura snapped, but he ignored her.
 
He tore Suigetsu’s hands from his cloak and threw him back several steps. “What
was it you said to me? ‘Don’t leave any scars; he’ll be livid?’ Or ‘He’s going
to come back; you’ll see.’ You just kept lying to yourself, like you are now.
Wake up, Karin. He never loved you, and neither did I. You were useful. That’s
all.”
 
“Liar!” Karin desperately wished that the tears in her eyes weren’t there. He
was trying to tear her down, beat her into submission, and she was fighting
with everything she had.
 
“Am I, now? Then, how would I know that you threw yourself at him the first
time he summoned Manda? That you gave him what he wanted, but he had been
planning for months? Just how you begged and tried to convince him. You were
nothing but his whore when it was convenient for him. You know you would have
done the same for me if I cared enough to let you. And, now, you’re doing the
exact same thing with this sorry imitation of the man you really want. Face it,
you’re not over him, are you? You probably think about it when you fuck. Have
you called him Kabuto, yet?”
 
“You son of a bitch!” Suigetsu charged him, swinging his right fist at Sasuke’s
face. He dodged with ease and grabbed Suigetsu’s wrist, wrenching his arm
behind his back. A swift kick to his spine slammed him to the ground.
 
“I won’t put up with any more insubordination from either of you. I still have
enough pull with Lord Orochimaru to make your lives hell. I will not hesitate
to do so. Think long and hard about whether or not you want to defy me again.”
Sasuke stepped over Suigetsu and brushed past Karin, walking to the door.
“Sakura, let’s go,” he ordered. “I refuse to be here any longer.”
 
Sakura stared at his back, her face twisted in disbelief and shock. He turned
to look at her, and she felt her body move of its own accord. She was trying to
process the last five minutes, but her mind wasn’t working. Instinctively, her
hand slid down to her stomach. He put a hand on her lower back and guided her
out the door in front of him. When he closed it, it was with enough force to
shake the wall.
 
Karin sat at the table in silent shock. How could he say such things to her?
She wasn't under his control anymore, so he lashed out like this? Was his
barely tolerable attitude a front when they were a team to get her to do
whatever he wanted? His words rung in her ears, grating away at her soul. It
was almost too much to process.
 
“Karin…” Suigetsu didn't know what to say. He was so full of blind rage that he
wanted to chase Sasuke down and drive a kunai into his throat, even though he
knew the Uchiha would easily overpower him. She looked up at him, red eyes
glazed and watering. She had never looked so hollow. There was no more fire in
her. He clenched his fists and made his decision, consequences be damned.
 
He left her at the table, throwing open the door to the room they shared. He
began grabbing their few belongings, tossing them into the nearest pack,
uncaring of what was whose. He didn't have time to think about it. If he
thought, he might just change his mind. Careful to leave nothing behind, he
closed up both packs and threw one over his shoulder.
 
He extended his hand to Karin, who just stared at him vacantly. “Let's go.” She
felt the blind urge to follow his direction. “We're getting the fuck out of
here.”
 
“Where are we going?” Her voice was almost a whisper as she put on her own
pack.
 
“I don't know. Anywhere but here. I'm done. We're not gonna live like this
anymore.” The executioner’s blade found its resting place against his back. “We
need to move, and fast.” He reached out and took her by the hand, using his
other to slide open a window. He jumped through first and then helped Karin,
taking her hand once more as they stood in the snow. “Run.”
 
===============================================================================
 
Half a day at top speed got them as far as the border between the Land of Earth
and the Land of Vegetables. The nation was known for its commerce rather than
shinobi, and as such, they weren’t likely to encounter mercenaries or anyone
who might recognize their faces from the bingo book. Suigetsu hoped that, if
they had been pursued, Sasuke would expect them to pass through the more
familiar Land of Grass or even the Land of Rain, where they could have stocked
up on weaponry and supplies. In the peaceful village they’d stumbled upon,
Suigetsu stuck out with the large sword on his back, but there wasn’t much to
be done there.
 
A pawn shop bought their heavy winter clothes off of them, and the price they
received was decent. The coats would sell quickly to travelers heading north.
This put a few ryo in their pockets, but they were loathe to spend them so
soon. That night, they ate fish from a nearby river, which they cooked over a
campfire, and they took turns keeping watch until the sun rose. They didn’t
have the luxury of lingering.
 
They ran with no real direction or purpose. The only barrier they had was not
to go near the Land of Fire. Doing so would get them caught far too soon. A
brief segue the next day took them through the Land of Keys, and that night,
they camped on the sandy beach of the coast of the Land of Wind. The ocean
roared them to sleep, and Suigetsu felt more at home than he had in several
years.
 
When Karin awoke, it was to see him submerged to his shoulders in the waves,
letting the current carry him toward the shore before swimming back out again.
They were still too close to the Land of Iron for her comfort, but if she
allowed him another half hour to enjoy himself, neither of them mentioned it.
 
In the desert, the heat pounded against their backs and drained them of their
energy. It wasn’t long before they veered back toward the coast. Suigetsu
didn’t have to worry so much about water when he could swim for a bit, and the
ecosystem was moderately greener than the uninviting sand dunes. The further
they traveled, they came closer to the Land of Hot Water. Their bodies,
however, began to protest the constant running and lack of decent sleep. When
they finally took shelter in a beachside inn, it was in a village where no one
knew their names.
 
It was nothing less than luck that they found an abandoned shack to the
southwest of the village, around two kilometers out of the way of civilization.
With a few patches in the roof and a good, deep clean, it was actually somewhat
accommodating. Their sleeping bags found a home on the floor of the bedroom,
and a large piece of driftwood was dusted off and transformed into a low table.
It was far from glamorous, but it was warm and dry. Furthermore, it was safe.
No one would think to look for them in a place like this.
 
Suigetsu found work as a fisherman, where he could bring his catch and sell it
to the local market at a fair price, even as a foreigner. Karin set herself up
as a nurse in the small clinic, earning the position after her first interview
due to her knowledge. It wasn’t much. They had both lived much better lives,
but they had also lived much worse. This would do.
 
===============================================================================
 
Suigetsu returned to their incredibly humble abode, grocery bag in hand, to
find Karin in the middle of a renovation. Her hair was pulled back and her
sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She was red-faced and sweating as she kicked
sharply at a plank of wood she stripped from the wall, grunting from the
effort. What had possessed her to knock down the wall between the kitchen and
main room was beyond him.
 
“What the hell?” It wasn't the most eloquent question, but it got the point
across. He set down the bag and walked over to her, taking the claw hammer out
of her hands. “You can't just go knocking down walls.”
 
“Too late.” She grabbed for the hammer, but he held it out of reach. “Would you
just give it to me already?!”
 
“What's gotten into you?”
 
Karin narrowed her eyes at him and set herself in a defensive posture.
“Nothing.” Her diversionary tactic wasn't going to work this time.
 
“Something happened. You might as well tell me. I can keep this up all night.”
 
Karin clenched her jaw before crouching down, tearing at a plank with her bare
fingers. “I had a bad day.”
 
Over the last few weeks, they had come up with a code. A bad day was one where
she experienced a trigger or nightmare of some kind. He knew better than to
press her. “Didn't I suggest you take up painting? You know, instead of tearing
our house apart?”
 
His words gave her pause. “Our house, huh? Go figure. Never thought I'd hear
that one.”
 
“Me either, but you're trying to distract me.”
 
“Is it working?”
 
“What do you think?”
 
She sighed and sat down on the wooden floor. “I assisted on a surgery today. A
kid. He had a bleed from a fall that we needed to stop…” She rubbed her
forehead with her fingertips. “I couldn't give him any of my chakra. I couldn't
help because we have to keep a low profile. He almost died today. God only
knows how we kept that from happening. But if he'd died, it would have been on
me. How fucking selfish is that?”
 
“You put your own life before his. That isn't selfish, it's survival. If word
got out that we were here, Suna would have ANBU on our asses in a day.”
 
“But-”
 
“But nothing. You might not know this, but it isn't your job to save everyone.
It's almost killed you before. Your life comes first, do you understand that?”
He sat down, cross-legged, in front of her. “Who's in your head right now?”
 
“Sasuke,” she admitted. “Telling me that I'm just useful and convenient.”
 
“Karin, look at me. Look me in the eye, okay? Fuck him. Fuck him with that
goddamned cactus I keep stepping on in the backyard. Now say it.”
 
“Fuck him.”
 
“Like you mean it.”
 
“Fuck him.”
 
Suigetsu grinned his pointed smile. “Atta girl. Now stop taking it out on the
house, okay? We've only got the one.”
 
“But I'm almost done, and it'll give us so much more room.”
 
“Okay, but this is the last time. I mean it.”
 
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Notes
     Whoa-o-o-o, Cover your crystal eyes
     And let your colours bleed and blend with mine
     Making waves in pitch black sand
     Feel the salt dance on my hands
     Raw and charcoal coloured thighs feel so cold
     And my skin feels so paper-thin
     I know I'll wither so peel away the bark
     Because nothing grows when it is dark
     In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear
     I see it all so clear
     - Of Monsters and Men, "Crystals"
     Note: My little brother is in town for Christmas and his birthday!
     Updates may be a little slow, because sibling bonding will be
     happening whether he wants it or not.
When payday rolled around for Karin, they had saved enough to buy a futon to
replace the sleeping bags. It wasn't discussed whether or not they would be
getting more than one. Suigetsu wondered at this when he set it up in the
bedroom, rather amused at the development. It was strange how close they'd
gotten over the last two months. It wasn't the most fortunate of circumstances
by any means, but their situation had improved after they cut and ran.
 
They had become oddly domestic. It was almost like they were roommates by
choice instead of necessity. Well, roommates who shared a bed and finances.
Roommates who sometimes woke up sleeping against one another. Maybe they
weren't exactly roommates. He didn't know what they were. He would go as far as
to consider them friends at this point. Maybe that was it. Friends did those
things, right? And since when did he want to label them, anyway? It was
ridiculous.
 
To his amusement, Karin looked like she was about to cry from joy when she came
home from the clinic to see that the sleeping bags had finally been replaced.
She threw herself down on the futon, groaning in a mixture of pain and
appreciation. She hadn't been in a bed in so long. Her back was killing her.
Now that she had one, she didn't want to move.
 
He let her be for the moment. She’d had to pull a double to cover for another
nurse who called out sick, and she was exhausted. The least he could do was let
her sleep until he had dinner ready. He wasn't a good cook, but even he could
make rice. It wasn't a night for a heavy meal, in his mind. The day had been
excessively warm, and the house had yet to cool. The last thing he needed to do
was add to the heat.
 
Karin had rolled to his side of the futon, her head buried in his pillow. She
snored, and he had to fight not to laugh. She would be livid if she found out
he heard that. He reached down and shook her by the shoulder. She lifted one
arm and let it fall in an attempt to shoo him away. The second time, she opened
her eyes. He held the rice under her nose, and she pushed herself up into a
sitting position.
 
“You need to eat something. Then you can sleep.”
 
Karin took the bowl without argument. She was far too tired to put any kind of
effort into being obstinate. “I get to go in late tomorrow,” she informed him
in-between bites. Her clinic seemed to genuinely appreciate her, and it was
doing its best to keep her as an employee. When she was hired, she was
straightforward in telling them she didn't know how long she would stay. Each
day seemed to have a renewed effort to convince her to do so.
 
“Good. You deserve it after today. What happened, anyway?”
 
“Miko’s son gave her the stomach flu. Even a nurse can't keep a toddler germ-
free, I guess. It seems to be a twelve hour bug, so she'll be back tomorrow
morning.”
 
“Just don't catch it from her. I'm not going to take care of you.”
 
“Asshole.”
 
“Just shut up and eat. And you need to move. I sleep on the left.”
===============================================================================
 
Mr. Doumeki was a silver-haired fisherman with a wife, two children, and five
grandchildren that he adored more than life itself. His boat wasn’t much to be
proud of, by any means, but when the young foreigner approached him and asked
if he could pay a fare to join him out on the ocean, well, it didn’t feel right
to take his money. As it turned out, the kid was good company; he was smarter
than he looked, and he was quick-witted and funny. Despite his insistence, the
old man refused to take a cut of his catch, insisting that the young man needed
it more than he would.
 
Mangetsu, as the young man called himself, became a regular companion on his
early mornings, never complaining about the hour they set sail. Some days were
more successful than others, but the kid was a natural at the trade. He could
never pinpoint the kid’s accent, even if his violet eyes and white hair shouted
that he was far from Kaze-born. Whenever he asked, Mangetsu would give him a
closed-lipped smile and insist that it wasn’t relevant.
 
Mr. Doumeki taught him that tying his hair back would be better for his vision,
that long sleeves were better for the desert, and that one could barter with
the market for groceries and come away with a better deal than they would by
taking a cash payment. In return, the kid would tell stories from his travels,
although he could never be sure if they were true. He claimed to have visited
the Land of Earth, the Land of Fire, and the Land of Waves, along with several
smaller nations; that was a lot of travel for someone so young.
 
When asked why he would choose to settle down in the Land of Wind, so far from
major civilization, Mangetsu would cite his love of the ocean and his
companion’s distaste for people. Mr. Doumeki couldn’t figure out his
relationship with the red-headed young woman who worked in the clinic, and
Mangetsu would only shrug his shoulders and claim that it was a long story.
They looked nothing alike, and so clearly, they weren’t of any relation.
Mangetsu didn’t wear a ring. The way he spoke about her, with almost humorous
contempt, made him doubt that they were anything but strangers. Yet, for all
his years, he knew better than to pry into the personal affairs of others.
 
One morning, he found Mangetsu waiting for him at the end of the dock, his
supplies already loaded into the wooden boat. The young man greeted him and
offered him a neatly-tied bento. By way of explanation, he stated, “Tsubaki’s
pissed I haven’t been paying you back somehow. Yelled at me the entire time she
made this. I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful or anything, so…” He
scratched the hair on the back of his head, tearing a few strands loose from
the tie.
 
The old man chuckled. “That’s sweet of her, but she didn’t have to.”
 
“I told her that the Missus always sends you off with something, but she didn’t
wanna hear it. I backed down before she could stab me.”
 
Something in the kid’s voice made him wonder whether or not he was joking.
“Well, tell her I said thank you. And to go a little easier on you, too. You’re
a good kid.”
 
Mangetsu grinned and helped him load his things into the boat. As they pushed
off, the old man suddenly asked, “So, when do you think you’ll ask her?”
 
“Do what, now?”
 
“You plan on proposing to her, right? I’ve only seen her around town, but she
looks like she’s good for you.”
 
“Oh, no, it’s not like that.” He shook his head just a touch too quickly.
“We’re friends. Roommates. We’ve just known each other a long time.”
 
“Sure, kid.”
 
“I’m serious. She’d cut me into pieces and feed me to the sharks, first.”
 
“She made you lunch.”
 
“No, she made  you  lunch. I was told to make my own or starve.”
 
The two men shared a laugh. Mangetsu cast his rod and leaned back in the boat,
starting the waiting game. Mr. Doumeki followed his lead. Silence won them
over, and the waves lulled the small boat into a repetitive rocking. Their
morning had only just begun.
 
===============================================================================
 
Karin peered into the microscope and twisted one of the knobs, bringing the
slide into a much clearer vision. With a pipette, she released a drop of a
blood sample that one of the doctors had taken. She clicked her tongue as she
studied the slide, looking for any abnormalities. Without looking, she wrote
her findings in the file to her right. The patient, it seemed, was anemic,
which would explain most, if not all, of her present symptoms. All the same,
she wanted to be thorough while she had the sample in front of her. She didn’t
want to miss anything by assuming that the surface was all to be seen.
 
A knock sounded on the door behind her, and she spun on her stool to face it
when it opened. A middle-aged woman with dark hair peered into the lab, giving
her a friendly smile. “Tsubaki, I need you to check in on the patient in room
two. I’m running a little behind, so if you could take his vitals?”
 
“Of course, Doctor. Just give me a moment. Is his file on the door?”
 
“I’ll make sure it is. You’re a lifesaver.”
 
It took but a moment to clear her workstation and store the sample. After
locking the lab, she put the key in the pocket of her white coat and walked
down the hall. Room two. She took the file from beside the door and knocked
once before entering. She opened the file and began to look over the
information as she spoke. “Sorry about the wait. Doctor Takahashi is running
behind this afternoon.” She blinked once in surprise at thee file before
glancing up. Exasperated, she asked, “What the fuck did you do?”
 
Suigetsu sat before her on the examination table, a nervous grin on his face.
“How pissed are you gonna be?”
 
“That depends on how stupid you were.”
 
He weighed his options before giving in. He lifted his leg onto the table and
rolled his pants up to his left knee. There was a large set of bite marks on
his calf, and he had been bleeding significantly. “My catch decided not to go
down without a fight.”
 
“You were bitten by a fish?”
 
“A shark of some kind. It wasn’t big, but I didn’t exactly get a good look at
it. Doumeki cut the line and threw it back as soon as he got it off of me.”
 
Karin sighed. “Only you.” She turned her back to him and opened one of the
cabinets, removing alcohol, cotton, and gauze. She rolled the stool to the foot
of the table and sat down, soaking the cotton in alcohol. He hissed when the
liquid stung his wound.
 
“This sucks. I hate hiding. I could have just turned to water, but no.
Apparently, that would be a dead giveaway.”
 
“How many people do you know that can turn to water?” She looked him in the
eye. He looked away. “Exactly. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s what we have to
do. The wound is pretty superficial. You won’t even have to bandage it in a
couple of days.”
 
“Good to know.”
 
“I’d give you some of my chakra if Doumeki hadn’t seen you. But, he knows, and
I can’t heal you that quickly.”
“Dammit.”
 
“Stop getting hurt in front of other people, dumbass.”
 
“You could heal me, and I could just take a couple of days off.”
 
“We need to eat.”
 
“Do we really, though?”
 
She gave him the look. Her fingers tied off the bandage, and he rolled the leg
of his pants back down. “Doumeki won’t go back out today. It’s too late to get
a fresh start. I wasn’t able to catch anything, other than that damned shark.”
 
Karin sighed. “Okay, it’s not a big deal. Hang tight for a second, and I’ll
give you some ryo from my purse for groceries. Don’t touch anything.”
 
“I’m not five!” he called after her. She returned in less than a minute, and he
put the bills into his pocket.
 
“It’s not much, but it’ll feed us for the night.” Karin wrote on a piece of
paper and handed it to him. “Give this to the receptionist. They won’t charge
you.”
 
“Thanks.”
 
“Don’t get attacked by any more sharks.”
 
“Don’t tell me what to do with my life.”
 
She rolled her eyes with a laborious sigh. “I’ll see you tonight. Try to
behave.”
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Notes
     This is as good a place to fall as any
     We'll build our altar here
     Make me your Maria
     I'm already on my knees
     You had Jesus on your breath
     And I caught him in mine
     Sweating our confessions
     The undone and the divine
     - Florence + the Machine, "Bedroom Hymns"
     PWP. This chapter can be skipped if this isn't your cup of tea.
Even at the coast, water was considered a scarce commodity. The sea provided
water for everything but drinking, and it was a blessing to have it at their
disposal. The locals washed their clothes, dishes, and even bodies in the sea.
The salt kept soap from foaming quite as well, but it was more than enough to
perform those mundane tasks. Bathing, however, demanded extensive use of
moisturizer afterwards, as the salt liked to cling to bare skin. The lack of
humidity was hell if one didn’t take the precaution.
 
Suigetsu lathered the soap as best he could between his hands and scrubbed his
hair, trying to get rid of the oil and distinct smell of fish that came about
after cleaning his catch. Thankfully, that was a task he performed only when he
was bringing the catch home. Most days, the market would do it for him, if it
was being sold. Karin complained about the smell, and after a night spent
outside their shack, he wasn’t too keen on passing another the same way. The
sun had long since set, but this took priority.
 
His soap hung on a rope around his neck, an ingenious thought by a local to
keep the waves from taking it away. Waist-deep in the water, the tide could
easily sweep in and bring a wave to knock him off his feet. It was better to be
cautious. He bent over to dunk his head beneath the water, using his fingers to
get the last of the soap out of his locks. When he stood straight, he took a
lock of his hair between his fingers and smelled it. Seemed fine to him.  
 
 “I can still smell you from here. You need to wash it again.”
 
Suigetsu looked back over his shoulder. How she’d managed to come within just a
few meters of him without him noticing was baffling, but he didn’t dwell on
that for long because  holy mother of shinobi she’s naked .
 
“Shut your mouth, idiot,” she snapped in his general direction; her glasses
were safe on the shore, so she was operating on sensory skill and very poor
eyesight.
 
“Over here.” He couldn’t help the snort of laughter that slipped out when she
had to turn so she was actually pointing at him.
 
“I fucking hate you, and you still smell like fish. Stop staring at me. It’s
nothing you haven’t seen before.”
 
“Well…”
 
“If you’ve gone your entire life without seeing a woman’s breasts, I pity you.”
 
“Don’t be a bitch.”
 
“Don’t be a pig. I can’t wait all night for you to finish bathing, and you’d
probably just watch me from the window. Pervert.”
 
Suigetsu made a nonverbal noise of frustration and annoyance that sounded like
something between a snarl and a hiss. “I can’t fucking win with you!” All the
same, he started scrubbing soap into his hair once more. “Catch.” He threw the
soap to her.
 
She fumbled it several times before managing to catch the rope between her
fingers. “Don’t throw shit at me when I don’t have my glasses.” She let the
rope slide down into the crook of her arm as she began to wash off the distinct
odor of the medical clinic.
 
“How have you not  died ?”
 
“Luck and manipulation.”
 
Suigetsu dunked his head beneath the waves once more. What the hell was going
on? He reminded himself that she was fickle. He shouldn’t try to read into
anything she did. One wrong assumption could have her angry at him for weeks.
They’d known one another for so long that, perhaps, she was just this
comfortable around him. It wasn’t too different from a unisex onsen, if he
thought about it. Yeah. That made sense.
 
When he resurfaced, he didn’t have time to react before her hand caught the
back of his neck. She pulled his head down so that she could smell his hair.
“That’ll do,” she declared.
 
“R-right.” Somehow, he’d managed to have an impressive display of self-
restraint, but he could feel it slipping away faster than he would have liked.
Her fingertips lingered on his neck before she let them fall, brushing his
shoulder and collarbone as they did so. Consequences be damned, he couldn’t
take it anymore.
 
He grabbed her and pulled her against his body, tilting her face to meet his as
he kissed her hungrily. Unlike the first, drunken time, he had his wits about
him and had nothing to blame should it go awry. He just hoped that what she’d
said all those weeks ago about trying again held true. When she kissed him
back, it was a relief as well as a jolt down his spine. She wrapped her arms
around his neck, and his hands rested on her hips, his fingers exploring her
skin.
 
Finally breaking apart for air, she rested her forehead against his and
complained, “Took you long enough.”
 
“Don’t blame me. You’re the one who wanted to play it subtle.”
 
She ground her hips into his. “I’m not being subtle now.”
 
He laughed in disbelief. “No, you’re not.” As much as he wanted to take her
then and there, the voice in the back of his mind brought back several points
of contention on the subject. First of which was her reaction the last time
he’d had his hands on her. “But are you sure?”
 
She pulled out of his grasp and began to walk back to shore. “If you’re not
following me in thirty seconds, you’ll be sleeping outside.”
 
There was no need to tell him twice. They’d hardly made it through the door,
clothes and towels abandoned in the sand, before he had her pinned against the
wall. Her hands fisted in his hair, and he let his hands roam in places he’d
never have dared to before. She cried out when his fingers slipped between her
thighs, and he shuddered against her. They were both drenched in ocean water,
and he didn’t dare move them to the futon, where they would have to sleep that
night.
 
He stumbled with her across the room until she tripped back, falling onto their
new couch. He fell on top of her, guiding her further up so that he could fit,
too. Her breathing was starting to get a little heavy. Still mindful of what
happened the last time, Suigetsu asked, “Tell me if you need me to stop.”
 
Karin nodded, breathless. He lifted her legs and put them on his shoulders, and
then his face was between her thighs, and she was in  heaven . She sighed and
let her eyes close, falling into the sensation. God, he was good. He never let
her get too comfortable, moving when he felt her relax too much. Each time she
expected him to come back up, he’d draw a lewd sound from her. His pointed
teeth drug lightly over her clit, and she shuddered beneath him. His tongue
caressed the abused flesh, and her back arched. She didn’t want it to end.
 
He was nothing less than devious when he used his fingers to spread her open,
multiplying the sensation tenfold as he stroked right over her. A slight shift
of his body put him on his elbows, and his other hand found a comfortable angle
where he could slide his fingers in and out of her. She whimpered in
desperation, clinging to his hair and shoulders like he was her lifeline. Just
once, she allowed herself to cry, “Don’t stop.”
 
Surprisingly, he listened to her. She could feel him grinning, but she couldn’t
care less how much he was enjoying what he was doing to her. Her mind had
nearly gone blank. She screamed when his teeth tugged lightly at her clit, and
her thighs tightened their hold on either side of his head. It was a blessing
when he picked up the pace, and she hadn’t realized just how close she’d gotten
until it was too late. He continued to pay attention to her as she came down
from her high, panting and on the verge of tears.
 
When she finally released him, he moved himself up over her body, where he
smirked down at her. He pressed his soiled fingertips to her lips, and she took
them in her mouth willingly. At a particularly lithe swipe of her tongue, his
other hand curled into a fist beside her head. She wrapped her legs around his
waist, and he clenched his jaw. She took far too long to give him back his
hand. Once she could speak again, he asked her, voice tight with want, “Are you
still okay?”
 
“Come on, already,” she demanded, catching him by the back of the head and
pulling him down for a deep kiss. With a slight shift of his hips, he was
pressed against her, and he shivered at the contact.
 
“Fuck,” he breathed. She bucked her hips up into his, driving him in further
far more quickly than he had planned. “Impatient bitch,” he grumbled, yet he
complied. He drove his hips forcefully into hers, and she muffled a cry against
his shoulder.
 
“Harder,” she demanded, her fingernails dragging down his back.
 
“If I do that…”
 
“I don’t care.”
 
He drew his hips back and slammed into her, ripping a scream from her throat
that turned into a sob. Good lord. That was one of the hottest things he’d ever
heard. He repeated the process, trying to get the same result. Her eyes opened
when he caught her off guard, and his heart beat faster. He tried to think of
something else, something to calm himself down, even if only for a few moments.
His pace had slowed significantly with the effort.
 
“Please,” she whimpered, bringing him back to reality.
 
He lifted himself off of her, much to her dismay until she figured out what he
was doing. They traded places, and she rose up onto her knees, sinking down him
inch by agonizing inch. She groaned, and his hands gripped her thighs as she
began to ride him at her own pace. When she leaned back, placing her palms
behind her on the couch, he could feel the difference in pressure and couldn’t
begrudge her the broken cry that she let slip.
 
His grasp tightened, and he somehow managed to say, “Karin, you need to stop.”
 
She looked down at him and leaned forward, putting her hands on either side of
his head. She rolled her hips and made him groan. “No.”
 
“Ka-” The words were lost when she started moving again, this time at the same
pace they’d been at before they switched. He couldn’t take it. It had all
become too much. When he came, he saw stars and did a very poor job of holding
back a shout of ecstacy. To his combined pleasure and dismay, she continued to
ride him until she tightened around him. He was still inside her when she
leaned forward, resting her head on his chest. Absentmindedly, he ran his
fingers through her hair as the world came back to him.
 
“Why are you laughing?”
 
“You have no idea what you just got yourself into. After that? No way this can
be a one-time thing. God damn.”
 
“I wasn’t planning on it. At the risk of boosting your ego, you’re damned
good.”
 
“So that’s the whole benefit part of this thing, right?”
 
“Damned right.” Her hand fell against his in a weak high-five.
 
He pushed on her shoulders. “You need to get off.”
 
“No, I don’t.”
 
“Your ass is bony and it hurts.” She slapped his chest. “Ow!”
 
“Do  not  insult my ass.”
 
“Fine. Your knees and elbows are bony. Now just get off before I go numb.” He
didn’t plan on the slow, sensual way she removed herself from his body. “Hey!”
 
“I did what you asked, didn’t I?”
 
“You’re going to kill me.”
 
“That’s the plan.”
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm not passive but aggressive.
     Take note it's not impressive.
     Empty your sadness like you're dumping your purse on my bedroom floor
     We put your curse in reverse.
     And it's our time now if you want it to be.
     Maul the world like a carnival bear set free.
     And your love is anemic.
     And I can't believe that you couldn't see it coming for me.
     - Fall Out Boy, "The Kids Aren't Alright"
Suigetsu groaned into his hands, lamenting his current situation. He looked up
and over at Mr. Doumeki, who was watching him with an amused expression. “It’s
not funny! She’s going to be the death of me. I… what even? What the hell do I
do with that? Ugh!” He fell back dramatically, rocking the small boat. “And
here I am, talking about my sex life with someone old enough to be my
grandfather. She’d skin me alive if she knew. I’m not even kidding. She would
literally  skin me alive. She could do it.”
 
Doumeki chuckled. “You know, Mangetsu, you’re looking at this all wrong. If you
ask me, she’s awful fond of you. Tsubaki doesn’t seem like the type of gal to
just throw herself at some nobody.”
 
“She’s not, but… I gotta be honest here. She’s had it tough. Been through some
bad shit. She’s been hurt by a lot of people, and I don’t want to be one of
them.”
 
“That right there tells me you won’t.”
 
“But. I just… can this stay between us?”
 
“It won’t leave this boat,” Doumeki assured the young man.
 
“She has night terrors. Some nights, she wakes me up, screaming. See, this guy,
he was her mentor, and he took advantage of her. She doesn’t have anybody. And
he saw that, and he… fuck, he made her his puppet. Just thinking about it makes
me want to wash out my soul. I can’t even tell you half of what he did. He took
over her mind. Convincing her that she wanted to sleep with him isn’t even
close to the worst. I knew him, I knew them both when it was happening, but I
didn’t  know . And so she has these dreams about him and what happened, and I
know that I could have done something, except I couldn’t, because… I didn’t
have the power to.” Suigetsu pinched the bridge of his nose.
 
“And then there was this guy after him, who knew what was going on, an he
didn’t do anything, even though he could. He worked right alongside the guy.
Now, I find out, the first guy was bragging to the second about it. And so the
second guy uses the same fucking methods to get her to do what he wanted, too.
She loved him, you know. She loved them both. Head over heels infatuation. And
the only reason she didn’t sleep with the second guy was because she thought
the first might literally kill her.
 
And I’m saying all this, and it sounds like she’s easy, but she’s not. Not at
all. It’s just that they twisted her and fucked with her head. And she got out,
for a little bit, and she realized what happened. She started taking pills and
almost overdosed because of these assholes. Then the second guy comes back with
a new chick on his arm and tries to order Tsubaki around like he used to. It’s
just disgusting! And now it’s fucking with  my  head because I’m the one who
wakes up at night and has to calm her down and help her stop crying.”
 
“You’re worried that you’re taking advantage of her without meaning to.”
 
Suigetsu looked over at him, not bothering to hide his surprise. “Uh… yeah.
Yeah, I am. How did you know?”
 
“I’ve been around for awhile, kid. You learn a thing or two. Actually, when you
turn sixty, they give you a book.”
 
“Mr. Doumeki, you’re not helping.”
 
Doumeki set down his rod and leaned forward, putting his forearms on his knees.
“If you want to know what I think, you care about this girl. You’re hurting for
her. And you’re both too damned proud and stubborn to take a step back. Look
around you. This is one of the most beautiful places in the Land of Wind, and
you can’t enjoy it. You live on the beach with a beautiful woman and make a
living on the ocean. For a lot of people, that’s the dream.
 
You’re living life too fast, kid. The two of you need to do the work to get out
of the past and move forward. Because, let me tell you something, if you were
this worried about hurting her and didn’t care if you did, you’d be long gone.
Face it, you’re in this for the long haul, even if you don’t know it yet. If
you ask me, you’d do anything for that girl. You moved all the way out here
with her, didn’t you?”
 
“We weren’t exactly giving anything up. We pretty much had the clothes on our
backs.”
 
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t know where you two are from, but it isn’t around here.
Even if you don’t have things, everybody has a home. You two left that,
wherever it is, and set out here. Now, why do you think that is?”
 
After a moment’s hesitation, Suigetsu admitted, “I had to get her out. I
couldn’t let her stay there and be treated like that anymore. She was starting
to stand up for herself, and they beat her down, and I couldn’t stand it. She
was dead inside. When I almost lost her… I was scared. We hated one another,
still do, I think. But I didn’t want her to die, even though that happened
before I knew anything about what had happened. I really think she’d be dead by
now if we hadn’t cut and run.”
 
Doumeki sighed. “I worry about you, kid. Come on, you really think she hates
you?”
 
“She’s tried to kill me more than once.”
 
“So? My wife gave me a concussion with a skillet a year into our marriage.
Looking back, I can’t blame her, but that’s not the point. Is it really that
hard to think she might care about you, too?”
 
Suigetsu considered the idea, tilting his head from side to side. “I mean,
maybe not?”
 
“Mangetsu, don’t make me spell it out for you, okay?”
 
“Come on, Gramps, I’m trying here.”
 
“Look, if some ninja broke into your house tomorrow and said they had to kill
one of you for the mission, what would you say to him? You or her?”
 
“Me.”
 
Doumeki watched Suigetsu in silence, waiting for his words to catch up to his
mind. Suigetsu, however, thought the old man hadn’t heard him.
 
“I said me- oooooooh shit.”
 
Doumeki grinned. “There it is!”
 
“Oh, shit. What? No. Shit. Really? I… fuck. No, no way. But I… How? When did
I…”
 
“Easy, kid. There’s steam coming out of your ears.”
 
“That’s not possible! No, there’s no way. No fucking way. I mean, I care about
her, yeah, but I don’t  love  her. She’s my friend! My friend I had sex with,
but still my friend. That’s all. I mean, friends do this shit, right?”
 
“Okay, smart guy. Tell me, what’s her favorite food?”
 
“Okonomiyaki.”
 
“Her hobby?”
 
“She collects perfumes. But a friend would know that stuff!”
 
“Which one’s her favorite?”
 
“What?”
 
“Her perfumes. Which one’s her favorite?”
 
“The rose and jasmine one she makes herself.”
 
“Now, tell me, who in the hell would know that?”
 
“Anybody! She wears it all the time, so of course she smells like it, and it’s
obvious that she likes it if… she smells like it… Dammit!”
 
Doumeki laughed out loud at Suigetsu’s frustration and turmoil. The young man
was pulling at his hair and trying to form a coherent sentence. Eventually he
calmed down and put his head in his hands. “I’m so fucked.”
 
“Now why do you say that?”
 
“I told you. She hates me. Everything about me. Trust me, she’s said it enough
times that I know. She’s the bitchiest, most stubborn beast of hell to walk the
earth. And it had to be her. Oh, I’m so, so fucked.”
 
“You’re being a little over dramatic, don’t you think?”
 
“For years, that woman took delight in causing me physical harm. No, I don’t.”
 
Doumeki sighed. “I don’t know why you don’t want to love her, but you do. You
know you do. So stop trying to talk yourself out of it and act like a man. Your
temper tantrum’s scaring off all the fish.”
 
Suigetsu sat up and sighed wearily. He was silent for a while as he thought
things over. Finally, in a calmer tone of voice, he asked the old man, “What do
I do now?”
 
===============================================================================
 
Somehow, ‘just tell her’ wasn't the advice he'd needed. It wasn't that easy, no
matter how much Doumeki insisted that he just had to tear off the bandage and
get it over with. He didn't understand exactly who Karin was. Tsubaki was a
mask she wore in town, an act. Tsubaki was kind, opinionated, and witty. Karin
was most of those things along with a bad attitude and a powerful punch. It was
far from easy. In fact, he'd never considered doing anything more difficult.
 
It would be so much easier if she would just give him some clue. Most of her
actions were those of someone who mildly tolerated him at best, and the rest of
a friend. Other than sex, none of them indicated romantic interest. He didn't
know, and didn't want to ask, about Karin’s history with men. It was better not
to know if there had been anyone after Kabuto. She clearly wasn't infatuated
with him, the way she had been with Kabuto or Sasuke. So, was the sex just sex?
Did it mean anything more to her? If he only knew she was wondering the same
things. He had never been a lucky one.
 
When she came home from the clinic that night, she was in a pretty decent mood.
She had the next two days off, and she'd been looking forward to it all week.
Even so, he hadn't expected her to declare that they would be going back into
town for dinner. He wasn't about to argue. It was nothing special, and they
didn't have anything nice to wear, anyway. They changed into clean clothes, and
Karin took an extra moment to dab some perfume in her wrists and neck. She
approached Suigetsu with a different bottle, and he eyed her with skepticism.
 
“What're you doing?”
 
“Don't be a baby. It's sandalwood and citrus. I'm not eating with you if you
still smell like fish.” She tapped the glass stopper against the mouth of the
bottle. He let her apply the scent to either side of his neck, and she leaned a
little closer to make sure it was enough. “Much better,” she mused as she set
the bottle back in its proper place. “You know, you're welcome to use them when
you want. I'll show you which ones will work with your natural scent later.”
 
“My what?”
 
“The human body has a distinctive scent from person to person. You work well
with wooden bases. I do better with floral notes. It's all chemical, in a way.”
 
“Huh. Go figure. I just thought you liked them because they smell good.”
 
She gave him a pointed look. “I'm offended that you think I'd be so
superficial.”
 
“Not like you talk about it a lot. Never talked about anything until just
recently.”
 
“I guess you have a point.” She shut and locked the door behind him. In her
hand, she held her shoes, preferring to trek barefoot through the sand on their
way to the village. “To be honest, I never thought we’d get along. I used to
hate you. And I mean  hate  you.”
 
“Gee, thanks.”
 
“You know what I mean. Don’t be an ass about it.” She poked him in the
shoulder. “I was  trying  to tell you that I’m happy we get along now.” She
took a step to the left so that her feet were walking on wet sand, which felt
cool against her skin. “I have to be honest. I don’t really know where I’d be
right now if you hadn’t been with me after the relocation.”
 
“That’s not something you have to think about. I wasn’t going to leave you
alone, especially not after I found out about what happened before. To tell the
truth, there was never really an option for me. It’s weird to think about.
There was a time when I would have been happy to kill you, and I know it was
mutual. But, I don’t know, I guess being pulled onto Team Doomsday with someone
really shakes things up.”
 
“You’re probably right.” She took a moment to think before asking her next
question. “How long do you think we can stay here?”
 
“We’re pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I figure they’ll look for us in
Fire and Water before anywhere else, thinking we might have gone home. There’s
no way Sasuke will think to look for me in the desert. Besides, we’re using
aliases. Tsubaki and Mangetsu. No one would ever know.”
 
“Why are you using your brother’s name, anyway?”
 
“If someone says they’ve seen a guy with white hair and purple eyes named
Mangetsu, they’ll think he’s gone off the deep end. It’s enough to throw anyone
who would be in-the-know off our trail for a bit. Someone saying they’ve seen
one of the Legendary Swordsmen in Wind is going to sound completely batshit.”
 
“That’s actually pretty smart.”
 
Suigetsu scoffed. “I can be smart.”
 
“Sure you can.” Where once he would have launched into a rant, now he noticed
that she had a playful look in her eye. Rather than blow up at her, he pouted
dramatically. “Hold on.” Karin reached out and put a hand on his shoulder,
using him to stand straight as she pulled on her shoes. “So, I was hoping we
could go to this one place-”
 
“The one that serves okonomiyaki?” He chuckled. “Yeah, that’s fine with me.”
The smile she gave him was well worth it. Oh, god, he was such a sucker, wasn’t
he? Why couldn’t he have just lived in denial? Damn Doumeki. Why did the old
bastard have to be right all the time?
 
There wasn’t a wait, and it took virtually no time at all for their drinks and
food to arrive. Karin leaned back in her chair and took a sip of her sake
before announcing, “Doctor Takahashi’s not happy with you.”
 
“The hell did I do?”
 
“It seems like we’re known as that unmarried couple who lives in the old
Nakamura house. Apparently you need to make an honest woman out of me so that I
can keep my reputation.”
 
Suigetsu choked on his sake. It burned, and his eyes watered, but all she did
was laugh at him. Bitch. “That’s not funny.”
 
“I’m not joking. I was trying to give you a heads-up in case she confronts you
on the street.”
 
“Great. Just great. So I look like the penniless fisherman who’s trying to
shack up with the nurse who could  do so much better .”
 
“Pretty much.” She was getting far more enjoyment out of this than he was. He
looked her in the eye and downed his saucer of sake like it was a shot. “Are
you sailing with Doumeki tomorrow?”
 
“No, he wants to stay on land. Apparently, his daughter’s coming for a visit.”
 
“Must be nice. The whole family thing.”
 
“Just as long as you don’t get him started on her husband.”
 
“I don’t know how you can stay on a boat with one person for so long, so often,
and not want to kill one another.”
 
“See, there’s this trick that you don’t know about. We know how to shut the
fuck up.” He deserved the sharp kick she gave him under the table. “Come on,
that was funny!”
 
With nowhere to be in the morning, they allowed themselves to spend a bit more
than usual, enjoying their fill of food and sake. With Karin’s upcoming raise,
they could afford to be a little lavish. It wasn’t anything like they’d been
used to back in the Land of Fire, but, living as simply as they could, even
this small event was something to thoroughly enjoy. Who knew when they’d get to
do it again?
 
The waiter sent them home after a few hours, insisting that they needed to
close. Suigetsu left a tip on the table by way of an apology for their
inebriated presence. It wasn’t long before the pair of footsteps down the beach
became one, when Karin started to complain about how hard it was to walk in
sand. Rather than listen to her whine, Suigetsu lifted her onto his back. Her
face was nuzzled into his shoulder, and it was for the fifth time that she
informed him, “You smell good.”
 
“I know,” he told her, just as he had done the last three times. “And you’re
drunk.”
 
“Am not.”
 
“Prove it. What’s element 19?”
 
“K… Kryptonium?”
 
“It’s potassium. You’re drunk.”
 
“It’s K, though.”
 
“Which stands for potassium.”
 
“Well that’s fucking stupid.”
 
“You’re not wrong.” With one hand, he pulled out the keys and unlocked the
front door. “Easy does it,” he stated as he helped her stand on her own legs
again. The door was then locked once more. “Come on, you need sleep.”
 
Karin was lucid enough to undress herself, but not enough to remember to take
off her glasses. Suigetsu took his usual place on the futon after shutting off
the lights. Karin rolled onto her side and put her head on his chest, and he
put an arm underneath her to accommodate. She sighed contentedly. Her breathing
began to slow, and as she drifted off to sleep, the words she spoke would leave
Suigetsu restless all night.
 
“I love you.”
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Notes
     I open up my heart
     You can love me or not
     There's no such thing as sin
     Let it all come right in
     I wanna make some mistakes, I wanna sleep in the mud
     I wanna swim in the flood, I wanna fuck 'til I'm done
     I like whiskey on ice, I like sun in my eyes
     I wanna burn it all down, so let's start a fire
     I wanna be lost, so lost that I'm found
     Naked and laughing with my blood on the ground
     - P!nk, "I Am Here"
See the end of the chapter for more notes
He didn’t need to sleep. It was alright. Sleep was for the weak. Who even
sleeps anymore? Not Suigetsu, that’s for sure. Nope. Insomnia was perfectly
fine with him. It was just another checkpoint on his descent into complete and
total insanity. Yeah. This was perfectly fine. Just peachy. Nothing to worry
about. Nothing to see here.
 
As soon as she’d rolled over, he’d snuck out, unable to stay there any longer.
Okay, he had to be honest with himself. He was freaking the fuck out. Was it
dangerous to go for a five kilometer swim in the dead of night? Sure. He did it
anyway. He didn’t give his body time to rest when he stepped out of the ocean.
He swam down, now he’d run back. Complete physical exhaustion was the only way
he’d fall asleep that night. By the time he made it back to their little shack,
he felt like he was going to vomit, but not out of fatigue.
 
It was risky, but he decided that now was as good a time as any to practice his
swordsmanship. No one would come this far at night. He twirled the
executioner's blade in his palm, feeling the familiar weight. After going
through the basic training exercises that every Kiri ninja knew by heart, the
last few weeks without using the blade all but disappeared. He practiced until
his arms ached, and when he fell to the ground, he lay in the sand, looking up
at the sky for a long while. What was he supposed to do now?
 
===============================================================================
 
Karin sat on the uneven, wooden steps that led to their front door. The ocean
roared in front of her, waves crashing against the sand in a constant cycle.
She wrapped her hands more tightly around the mug she held, and she breathed in
the salt air. For a moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes.
 
“Comfortable, are we?”
 
She jumped, her body knocking against the wooden railing as she tried to turn.
Beside her, Kabuto sat with his back against the opposite rail, one leg bent at
the knee while the other stretched down the steps. He gave her that grin, the
one that told her he was amused. His fingers pushed his glasses up the bridge
of his nose, and he looked to his left, out at the ocean. “This is  very
interesting, indeed. Tell me, my little flame, did you ever think you’d end up
here?”
 
“What are you doing here?” Her jaw was clenched tight.
 
He ignored her. “I knew you could be spineless, but to run away? And from
Sasuke, at that? I’m surprised at you. I taught you better. Such cowardice.”
 
“I’m not a coward!”
 
“Don’t lie to yourself, my dear. It’s unbecoming. You let that bottom-feeding
excuse for a test subject break your resolve. It’s very disappointing. I had
such high hopes for you. And you threw it all away to live by the sea with that
urchin. Everything I gave you. Do you realize that, Karin? You would be nothing
if it weren’t for me. A little orphan girl out on the street with nowhere to
call home. I was the one to put Lord Orochimaru on your trail. I suggested that
you could be useful. Without me, he never would have known about you. I don’t
doubt you’d have been dead in a gutter before the year was out.”
 
“I don’t have to listen to you.”
 
“Perhaps not, but you want to.” He smiled at her in his disarming way that
caused her stomach to churn. “I’ve been here for a while, haven’t I? Right
here .” He reached out with his index finger and tapped her on the third eye.
“You’ve been wondering about me, what I have to say, what I’d think. Haven’t
you?”
 
“No.”
 
“You’re far prettier when you tell the truth.” He shook his head. “I must
admit, my little flame, you disgust me. Where is your sense of reason? Do you
even realize what you’re doing? You’ve turned your back on Lord Orochimaru, on
Sasuke, on me. You climb into bed with that waste of existence who can’t tell
the difference between nitrogen and oxygen. Look at how far you’ve fallen.”
 
Kabuto sighed as he continued. “Why won’t you admit that you miss me, that you
still want me? You know you do. Deep down, you know. You could find me if you
wanted to. All you need to do is ask Lord Orochimaru.”
 
“No one’s seen or heard from you since the war. I doubt that.”
 
“The same could be said for our lord.” He reached out and cupped her cheek with
his hand. His thumb brushed over her cheekbone, down her jawline, and came to
rest under her chin. “Think about it.”
 
===============================================================================
 
Karin awoke with a start, bolting upright so quickly that it made her nauseous.
Her heart was racing, and she was gasping as though she’d just run nonstop from
Konoha to Suna. She groaned and placed her head in her hands, praying that the
room would stop spinning before she lost the contents of her stomach. Her head
was pounding with the aftereffects of her drunkenness. She couldn’t remember
anything after she and Suigetsu had left the village. Suigetsu… Where the hell
was he?
 
She reached for her glasses, but she couldn’t find them. Muttering a string of
curses, she crawled on her hands and knees until she found them, neatly folded,
on Suigetsu’s side of the futon. She flipped the arms open and put them on,
finally able to see properly.
 
It took her much longer to stand up than she would ever admit. The series of
mistakes that had led her to this point were regrettable, but there was nothing
she could do about it now. Carefully, she made her way into the kitchen and
forced down two glasses of water. She leaned on her forearms against the
counter, taking several deep breaths.
It was just a dream. She was painfully hungover; of course her mind would play
cruel tricks on her like that. It wasn’t anything new. Kabuto had never been
skilled with any jutsu that would allow him to enter her mind. He hadn’t truly
been there. He was a figment of her drunken imagination sent to torment her
when she was already feeling weak. She knew this. It was logical.
 
So why did she have a sinking feeling in her stomach? She’d been secure in the
idea that he’d been lost in the war. Four years, and she hadn’t seen or heard
from him. Lord Orochimaru hadn’t spoken of him in any way that would have her
think that Kabuto was still under his command. It wasn’t as difficult to accept
that he was dead than she thought.
 
But now… was she wrong? Did Lord Orochimaru know where he was? If so, was he
still working under his command? Most importantly, could he find her?
 
Her body convulsed at the thought, and she gagged. She poured herself a third
glass of water. No. It wasn’t possible.  If  he was alive,  if  he still worked
for Lord Orochimaru,  if  he was even well enough to do so, there was simply no
way he’d be able to locate her. She and Suigetsu had covered their tracks.
They’d made sure that no one could find them. Everything they fabricated and
hidden, it wasn’t for nothing. No one knew their names or their pasts, here.
Karin and Suigetsu didn’t exist; they were Tsubaki and Mangetsu.
 
She sighed, and it came out as a shuddering breath. They were safe here. He
wouldn’t find her. Not here. It took all of her self control not to find
Suigetsu so that they could pack and run. She’d had a bad dream. That was all.
He wasn’t really there.
 
But , if he was just a figment of her imagination, what did that say about her
subconscious?  Why won’t you admit that you miss me, that you still want me?
You know you do. Deep down, you know.  Did she? He was the man that haunted her
dreams, who made her wake up screaming, who had taken her ability to trust
herself and others. Was it even possible to love him, after all of that? What
would it say about her if she did?
 
Karin turned her back to the counter and sank down until she was sitting on the
floor.
 
===============================================================================
 
Suigetsu shouldered his blade and walked back to the house. The sun would be
coming up, soon, and he didn’t want to risk being seen with one of the seven
legendary swords. Talk about a dead giveaway. He opened the door slowly, as not
to wake Karin, and slipped inside. He leaned his sword against the wall, out of
sight and out of the way. His body ached with exhaustion, and he would have
missed her entirely if she hadn’t moved, reaching an arm out in his direction
as her head sat on her knees.
 
“Karin?” He knelt on the floor beside her. She took his hand and laced her
fingers through his. “What’s wrong?”
 
“I'm scared.” He'd never heard those words leave her lips before. She was
shaking, and her grip on his hand tightened. “He can't be back. Please tell me
he can't be back.”
 
“Shhh. Talk to me.”
 
“Kabuto.” It took her a moment to continue. “He's in my head. He said Lord
Orochimaru knows where he is, that he didn't disappear. He called me a coward
for running away.”
 
Before she could continue, Suigetsu pulled her forward, holding her head
against his shoulder. He smelled like sweat and saltwater, all with the faint
hint of sandalwood from the night before. “You're not a coward,” he assured
her. “It would have been easier to stay. You know that.”
 
“I do, but…”
 
“He isn't really there. You were dreaming. Even he can't get in your head like
that. Something made you think of him. I don't know what, but you're safe here.
There's no way he could find you here.”
 
“If I made him up… everything he said must be something I really think, then,
isn’t it? He told me to come find him. He said that I still have feelings for
him. I can’t  do that . I can’t handle that. I want to believe it isn’t true,
but I don’t even know what’s  real  anymore, and I swear to god, if he’s right-
”
 
His chest heaved as he let out a longsuffering sigh. “C’mere.” He pulled her
closer and began to rock, ever so slowly, from side to side. She didn’t think
he even knew he was doing it. “Everything’s gonna be alright.” There were so
many things he wanted to say to her, but now wasn’t the time. “It was a
nightmare. I don’t know if you still love him or still care about him. But, you
know he fucked with you, what he did. He doesn’t own you like that anymore.”
 
“I don’t. Not anymore. Not after everything that’s happened. Now, I know. I
wish I didn’t. The nightmares… I can’t deal with them anymore. I’ve had them
for years. They’ve gotten so much worse, and I don’t know why. I just can’t
take it . I can’t keep doing this. He’s in my head, and I want him gone, but I
don’t know how. I need  sleep . I just want to sleep.” She clung to his shirt
for dear life. His heart ached for her; what he wouldn’t give to take it all
away.
 
“Shhh,” he crooned, running his fingers through her hair. “He can’t get you. I
won’t let him.” She made a noise of disbelief.
 
“Why not? Apparently, he still has me. That’s all I’m good for. Some obedient
little lab rat he could have his way with.” The words were bitter on her
tongue.
 
“Dammit, would you just listen to me?” He hadn’t meant to snap, but it got her
attention. “Would you be saying things like this if that’s what you were? No.
From what you’ve told me, you never questioned him. Look me in the eye and tell
me, if you still did what he wanted, that you wouldn’t have run off to find
him. Tell me that you wouldn’t have left everything and run back.”
 
She didn’t answer him. She couldn’t.
“He doesn’t  own  you anymore. Nobody does. Some days, I think you crawled up
out of hell just to make my life difficult.” She didn’t hit him for that, much
to his surprise. “If anyone tried that on you now, you’d look them in the eye
and gut them. You told  Sasuke  no. I never thought I’d see you do it, but you
did. People can only control you if you let them. Remember, that’s what made
you so mad at me all the time. Don’t let him bring you back to who you were.
You’d’ve tried to rip my throat out with your bare hands if I tried that shit
back then, let alone now.”
 
“Yeah....”
 
Suigetsu couldn’t help but laugh at her affirmation. “Fuckin’ crazy bitch.” He
said it almost as a term of endearment. “That’s what you need to do, next time
he gets in your head. Go batshit. Nobody’d ever fuck with you again, after
that.”
 
“Suigetsu?”
 
“Hm?”
 
“I’m exhausted.”
 
He smiled to himself and moved his arms underneath her, lifting her as he stood
up from the floor. Her breathing had already evened out by the time he lay her
down on the futon. He stripped out of his dirty clothes and switched them for
clean ones. He should have showered before he lay down, but he couldn’t be
bothered. It was far too much effort for his current state of fatigue.
 
She was conscious enough to curl into his side when he lay down beside her, and
he took just a second to watch her. Not long enough to be creepy; she’d kick
his ass if she knew he was staring at her. No, not staring, just looking. Yeah,
that’s it. In a moment of pure self-indulgence, he pressed his lips gently to
the crown of her head. “Dammit, I love you. How the fuck did that happen?”
 
“Quit being sappy. Shut the fuck up and let me sleep.”
 
He had to resist the sudden and powerful urge to throw himself through the
closed window. Oh, god,  please  let her forget what he’d just said. Her
reaction to such a dramatic statement meant that she still had to be at least a
little drunk. Right? His life couldn’t be that terrible, could it? No. No way.
Sure, he’d killed people, but he’d never kicked a puppy or any of that shit.
Karma couldn’t get him  that  bad. Yeah. He’d be fine. It’s not like he didn’t
hear her say it the night before. But, then again, he remembered it… No, he was
fine. There’s just no way. She’d totally forget by the time she woke up. She’d
probably think it was another one of her weird dreams. Oh, that was good. He
could use that on the off chance that he did remember.
 
“I can hear you thinking.” Her hand thumped him on the chest, making him cough.
“Sleep or get out.”
 
Well, he didn’t plan on going anywhere. She didn’t leave him much of a choice.
He let his fatigue take him. With any luck, he’d be asleep until dinner.
Chapter End Notes
     Merry Christmas and happy New Year! Thank you all so much for reading
     and commenting. It means so much to me <3
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Notes
     I was on a heavy tip
     Tryna cross a canyon with a broken limb
     You were on the other side
     Like always, wondering what to do with life
     I'd already had a sip
     So I'd reasoned I was drunk enough to deal with it
     You were on the other side
     Like always, you could never make your mind
     - Florence + the Machine, "What Kind of Man"
Nothing changed. Absolutely, positively,  not a fucking thing  changed.
Suigetsu was about to tear his hair out. This was his hell. He wanted nothing
more than to bash his head against a wooden support beam and lose memory of the
last week of his life. It had to be better than living like this. He was going
crazy. Completely batshit crazy. If Karin noticed, she didn’t bring it up. Not
once during her two days off did they even attempt to have sex again. Suigetsu
was too frazzled to even think about such a thing, and he honestly didn’t care
about Karin’s reasoning. He had enough on his mind without that.
 
A week went by, and she still hadn’t said it again. It was eating him alive,
and she probably didn’t even remember what she’d said. His nerves were so
terrible that Doumeki nearly threw him off the boat that afternoon. Suigetsu’s
sole saving grace was that the boat began to rock when he fought back, and the
old man wasn’t keen on taking a dip himself.
 
The fisherman’s advice had evolved from ‘just tell her’ to ‘do it before you
have a stroke.’ He hadn’t been clear as to how Suigetsu should go about it, and
the young man was lamenting this fact as he floated on his back in the ocean.
It was mid-afternoon; he should be out fishing, but Doumeki called it an early
day. Suigetsu knew it was his fault. Even he couldn’t stand being around
himself right now. He’d have to properly apologize to the fisherman the next
time he saw him.
 
Suigetsu heaved a laborious sigh as he looked up at the clouds. “So, Karin, I
don’t know if you remember, but the other night… No. Not that. Hmm. Karin, I
think you might be in love with me, and… that’s a great way to get my ass
kicked. Fuck. Okay. Let’s see. So, I know you used to hate my guts and tried to
kill me a couple times… Dammit!” He lashed out with his fist, hitting the
water. “Why is this so fucking hard?” He suddenly had the absurd compulsion to
swim out to sea and drown, but was quickly reminded that he was incapable of
doing so.
 
“Karin, the other night, we’d been drinking, but I heard you say that you love
me. I don’t know if you meant it, but I’m pretty sure that I love you.” He
pondered the wording for a moment. “That might work. She says yes, everything’s
good. She says no, well, what’s she gonna do?” It couldn’t possibly be worse
than what she’d made him suffer back when they were on Team Taka with Sasuke.
He groaned. “Damn old man and his damn words of wisdom. Keep it to yourself.
Doin’ just fucking fine before he brought it up. Could’ve lived without
knowing, but  no .”
 
He knew it was a lost cause before he said it, but he felt the odd compulsion
to do so, anyway. “Come on, bro, help me out here. I don’t know, give me
something  to work with. I know you’re watching all this bullshit. Be helpful
for once, would you? That’d be really fucking great.”
 
His only answer was the roaring of the waves. Right. He knew that one wouldn’t
work. “Some help you are…”
 
“Come on, Suigetsu, think. You’re smarter than this. It’s not like you haven’t
said worse things to her. Aaaand now I’m talking to myself in the second
person. Great. Just great.” He let his body lose balance and fall into the
water.  I’m so screwed.
 
===============================================================================
 
He’d told her he loved her. She’d done her best to ignore that fact. It was
easier to pretend that she hadn’t heard him, that it had never been said in the
first place. Karin did her best to maintain a sense of normalcy in her life.
The last thing she needed was to complicate it further.
 
To Karin, love was nothing more than a beautifully painted lie, a soft breath
on her ear when she was held close. It was a promise of tomorrow, hollow with
the reality of today. It was a word full of falsehood, forgotten memories, and
the taste of iron on her tongue. A barren wasteland of a philosophy long
abandoned. She knew what love was, which was how she knew it didn't exist.
 
Her love for Sasuke had been disdained glances, barked orders, and the primal
need to please. It was devotion that shouldn't have died, but what was murdered
as he turned his back on them.
 
Her love for Kabuto had been naive and full of hope. It was filled with soft
voices, discrete touches, a desire for knowledge combined with the exhilarating
fear of it. It had been stolen moments in closets and endless opportunities, if
only she moved when he pulled the strings.
 
She  hated  Suigetsu. Little else was more clear and concrete than the anger
that would boil under her skin. He was too  real , and she had tried to beat it
out of him. There was no sentimentality. Hate tasted of salt and a dry mouth.
It sat on top of her first two vertebrae,  pressing against her skull in a
constant migraine.  
 
Hate existed. It was her reality, the fire that cast away the shadows of self
loathing and doubt that love had hidden inside of her. Nothing could be tainted
if nothing was allowed to blossom in the blaze.
 
And, so, she clung to hatred with everything she had. To think of Suigetsu in
the same terms as Sasuke or Kabuto was wrong. He was there, constantly in her
face, a persistent presence that she couldn't begin to miss because he was
never gone. She wanted to slit his throat in his sleep some nights. Others, she
took him with little to no argument. She held the power, and that could only be
the case with such a polar opposite emotion.
 
She knew all too well that he had been trying to express his feelings, but
she’d actively cut him off at every turn. Some distraction, task, or change of
topic was always at hand when he made an attempt at the conversation. For some
reason, she didn’t want to reject him outright. She wanted him to live in
denial, like she was. Once he managed to talk to her, their uneasy balance
would be shattered. The peace they’d managed to find was too precious to
abandon so easily. How could he not see that?
 
She took a few extra shifts at the clinic, just to put some distance between
them. He’d noticed. Of course he had. She wasn’t being subtle, after all. She
was smart enough to know that Suigetsu was caught up in his thoughts, mulling
over what had happened. She hadn’t given him a reason or explanation, and it
was fairly obvious that he thought himself responsible for the sudden distance.
Which he was. In a way. Not her. He’d been the one to say it. He started the
whole thing. He  should  be allowed to sweat for a while.
 
===============================================================================
 
The most effective distraction that Karin had discovered was sex. If he started
down that predictable train of thought, she’d been able to easily divert his
attention. It didn’t take very much. She didn’t know if he’d caught on, yet,
but she hoped he hadn’t. There wasn’t a plan B. Her ideas were running on
fumes, trying to avoid what seemed to be an inevitable conversation that she
didn’t want to have. After dinner, when Suigetsu cleared his throat, she knew
what was coming.
 
Just like he’d practiced, he began, “Karin, the other night, we’d been
drinking, but I-” He was silenced when her lips pressed against his. She was
quick. She straddled his hips and pushed him back by his shoulders. He let
himself lie against the floor, his hands on her thighs as she deepened the
kiss. It was working, still, much to her relief. The longer she could put this
off, the better.
 
Playfully, Suigetsu flipped them over, putting his body on top of hers. He
wrapped his fingers around her wrists and pinned them above her head.
 
Everything happened so fast. The next thing he knew, he had fallen off of her,
clutching his bloodied nose. She was on her feet, several steps away, a scowl
on her lips. “What the fuck is your problem, you crazy bitch?!” Suigetsu
shouted, his voice a little strained from pain and his useless nose. He hadn’t
seen that one coming. If only he had, he could have turned to water and avoided
all of this. “I think you broke my fucking nose!”
 
Once Karin stopped seeing red, she realized what had happened. “Shit,” she
swore, getting the roll of paper towels from the kitchen. “Here.” She tore off
several and put them in his hand, guiding it to his nose. His other hand, she
wiped clean. “Keep your head tilted; it’ll help the bleeding.”
 
“What did I do?” Suigetsu demanded, betrayal in his tone. The moment had gone
swimmingly until she physically assaulted him.
 
“I didn’t mean to,” she offered in her defense.
 
“You don’t just accidentally break someone’s nose, Karin! God damn! Fucking
hurts.”
 
By way of apology, she rolled up her sleeve on her right arm, exposing her
wrist. “Here.”
 
Suigetsu pushed her hand away. “Stop. I don’t need you to.”
 
“Why not?”
 
“Because I can’t exactly breathe out my nose right now, and I need my mouth for
that.”
 
“Stop being stubborn. It’ll heal in a couple of seconds. You won’t suffocate.”
“No.”
 
“Just do it, asshole.”
 
“Not unless you tell me why the fuck you hit me.”
 
His eyes narrowed, fixed on hers in a challenge. He was hoping that her guilt
would outweigh her pride, but it was anyone’s guess. All he had to do was hold
out for her decision. She took his wrist in her hand and moved it away from his
nose, replacing the bloodied towels with fresh ones. He was starting to feel a
little lightheaded. Damn, she had one hell of a skull. The skin around his nose
had already started to bruise.
 
Finally, she made her decision. “If I heal you, first.”
 
“Not happening. You’ll heal me and then just ignore me. Talk, first.”
 
“Why are you being so stubborn?! I’m trying to help you!”
 
“Talk to me, dammit!”
 
“I don’t want to!”
 
Tension brought about silence. They were thrown into their waiting game, seeing
who would be the first to back down. Suigetsu’s nose had stopped bleeding, and
he was able to move the paper towels away from his face. He tested the skin
with a light touch, and he hissed at the contact. Yeah, that hurt like a bitch.
He sighed, speaking in a much calmer voice. “I want to know what I did so I
don’t do it again. My face is the moneymaker, y’know. I can’t have you fucking
it up every time I piss you off.” He gave a lopsided grin to show that he was
joking, but it looked more like a grimace in his current state.
 
Karin clenched her jaw. She knew it was better to tell him. It was her own
trigger, and if he did it again, it would only harm her. He seemed to want to
avoid the behavior, so she settled for being as brief as possible: “Don’t pin
me again.”
 
Well, that was better than nothing. “Okay, I won’t. I wasn’t trying to upset
you, you know.” He creased his brow. “Listen, I’ve been beating around the
bush, here, but I’d feel a helluva lot better if you just knew, so I’m just
gonna come out and say it.”
 
“Don’t.”
 
Suigetsu’s jaw dropped open slightly, and he waited for some kind of
explanation.
 
“I can’t. Just… don’t, okay?” Karin pushed herself up to her feet. “I can’t
deal with that. I think I know what you’re going to say, but, please. Just
don’t.”
 
“What the hell are you talking about?” He began to get indignant once more.
 
“Suigetsu. Just stop.”
 
He watched her turn her back on him, watched her walk out the front door. He
didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t have money or shoes. How could he
have fucked things up so badly?! He let out a cry of anger and slammed his fist
into the table. Dammit. What the hell was he supposed to do, now?
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Notes
     You get under my skin
     More than anyone's ever been
     But when we lay in bed
     You hold me hard 'til I forget
     That you hate me now and I feel the same way
     You love me now and I feel the same way
     We scream and we shout
     And make up the same day, same day
     Oh, we're on the right side of rock bottom
     And I hope that we keep falling
     We're on the good side of bad karma
     'Cause we keep on coming back for more
     We're on the right side of rock bottom
     Into you, I just keep crawling
     You're the best kind of bad something
     'Cause we keep on coming back for more
     - Hailee Steinfeld, "Rock Bottom"
He didn’t see Karin for three days. Whether or not she’d even been back to the
house wasn’t clear. Nothing seemed to move between his voyages in Doumeki’s
boat, but he was too distracted to notice unless it was something significant.
He’d been uncharacteristically quiet, but his fishing companion was wise enough
not to ask; Suigetsu would open up when he was ready. Other than a few brief
conversations, he had hardly spoken. Those days were spent in contemplation,
and he faced thoughts that he’d hidden away.
 
Karin had been his primary torturer for years. Day in and day out, she carried
out experiments on him like he wasn’t human. His life had been hell because of
her. When he found out about her relationship with Kabuto, it was easy to blame
him for everything she did. He was pulling the strings, after all. He had to
remind himself that, no matter the source of the orders, she willingly carried
them out. Even if she was suffering, that was no excuse for what she had done
to him. She could have said no at any time.
 
What had happened between then and now to change his mind? Even on Taka, he
would hardly consider them teammates. Sure, he saved her life a few times. All
he got for it was biting comments and physical attacks. Why had he bothered? It
couldn’t have been out of any sort of solidarity or loyalty. There was
something in him that wanted her alive. It could have been his killing intent;
the constant temptation to slice things in two still ran strong inside of him.
And yet, he’d stopped feeling that compulsion toward her a while ago.
 
There was only one logical explanation. He’d gone insane.
 
It wasn’t uncommon for the swordsmen of the Mist to become mentally unstable
due to power. Maybe finally getting his hands on the executioner’s blade had
done him in. It would explain a lot, now that he thought about it. Complete and
total insanity was the only cause he could think of for falling for Karin.
 
On the fourth day, she was sitting on the porch, holding a cup of tea and
staring out at the ocean. It took everything he had not to turn around and walk
away. It was tempting. His grip tightened on his fishing rod. From the way his
hair was pulled back, it was clear that he’d just returned from the sea. The
last thing he wanted to do right now was deal with her. Yet, the anger and
frustration that had been boiling inside of him wouldn’t be held back.
 
“Why the fuck are you here?” he snapped, passing by the wooden stairs where she
sat. He tucked away his fishing pole in its proper place.
 
“I live here.” Her tone was flat.
 
“Oh, you do? Could’ve fooled me.” He didn’t try to conceal his bitterness.
 
“Fuck off.”
 
“That seems more like something you’d do.” He closed the door to the lean-to
with a harsh slam.
 
“Control yourself,” she hissed condescendingly.
 
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do. I’m not the one who up and fucking left.
Now, why are you  here ?” His fist was clenched by his side, and his jaw was
set.
 
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
 
“Yeah, you do. Do you even fucking realize everything I’ve done for you?! I
left  everything  for you. Every single breakdown, nightmare, no matter what
the fuck it was, I was there. But you have to be the most  goddamned selfish
person in the world not to get that! And the  one time  I do something you
don’t like, you bail. You don’t yell at me, you don’t fight me, you fucking
run away ! And now, out of nowhere, you’re back. I deserve my goddamned
explanation!”
 
“I don’t need this.” Karin stood up.
 
“What? Gonna run away again? Fine! Fucking go. Be a coward.”
 
Her fist lashed out, but he was prepared. Her skin made contact with nothing
but water. She cried out in rage and threw herself at him, tackling him into
the sand. “I fucking  hate you! ”
 
Suigetsu grappled with her, fighting for the upper hand. Neither of them were
even close to playful. “Crazy bitch!”
 
Karin was on her back in the sand. She knew that, to keep his grip on her, he
had to remain solid. She sank her teeth into his forearm, tearing a yowl from
him. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled, forcing her to let go. She jammed
her knee up into his chest, knocking the wind out of him. He coughed, and she
threw him off.
 
They fought until they were both bruised and bloody, panting from exhaustion.
It was the catharsis they both desperately needed. Suigetsu fleetingly thought
that physically fighting was a pretty messed up way to handle things, but
they’d always settled arguments this way. A rejected expression of emotion, or
lack thereof, was no reason that it should change overnight. Between breaths,
he gasped, “Happy now?”
 
She glared at him in response.
 
“You wanna tell me what your fucking problem is?”
 
“You are,” she snarled.
 
“Oh,  I  am. I try to tell you that I actually give a shit about you, and  I’m
the goddamned problem?!”
 
“Yes, asshole! You are!”
 
“And how the fuck is that?”
 
“ I don’t want you to love me !”
 
Suigetsu was stunned into silence, trying to process what she’d just said. That
one sentence hurt more than any physical blow she’d ever given him. It took him
several moments to give voice to a single word: “What?”
 
“I don’t want you to love me,” she repeated. “I can’t handle that. I can’t go
through that again. I thought you’d understand, but, apparently, you don’t.”
She sighed, rubbing her face with her hands. “You just don’t fucking get it. I
can’t do it anymore.”
 
“You aren’t actually telling me that you’re comparing me to those  sons of
bitches. ”
 
She avoided his gaze. That was all he needed to know.
 
“Dammit, woman.”
 
“What do you want from me?!” Her shrill shout pierced the air. “We live
together, we share a bed, we've fucked. What else is there?!”
 
“I want you to let me  care , dammit! Those motherfuckers, they didn't give a
shit about you. Don't give me that look. You know I'm right. But you're so
goddamned hung up on them that you won't even let me  try . Just fucking tell
me why. Give me a reason.”
 
“I won't feel like that again.”
 
“You won't.”
 
“And how do  you  know that, hm?”
 
“Because I won't let you.”
 
Karin turned to face him, wary of the promise he had just made. He didn't pause
long enough for her to refute his bold claim. Instead, he took several steps
toward her, closing the distance left by their fray.
 
“You don't get to check out. You don't get to hide your scars and fake being
happy. Not with me. If I can get over what you did to me, you sure as fuck can
let me in. No one's gonna solve this for you. Stop saying it's not my problem.
You need to get your shit together, or they're going to get the best of you.”
 
“I'm not dead just yet.”
 
“No, but you will be. I'm not going to lie and say I'll leave, but I need you
to make a choice. You can stay in the past or try to move on. I'm more than
willing to help you get there. But if you keep pushing me away, I won't be able
to stand it forever.” He turned his back on her, leaving her sitting in the
sand. “Think on it.”
 
She stayed put for a long while, all the thoughts in her mind trying to drown
the others out until it was just a white noise, like the waves beating against
the shore. She closed her eyes for a brief moment. A familiar voice brought her
out of her reverie, pulling her back like a hook beneath her navel.
 
“You aren't brave enough to do it,” Kabuto's voice murmured at the edge of her
mind. “My little flame has cried wolf a thousand times, haven't you? I'm
beginning to think you like the suffering. My dear, you're more masochistic
than I knew.”
 
“Get out of my head,” she growled.
 
“If you wanted me gone, I would be. You love having me here. What was it you
said to me? ‘You feel like home?’ All I have to do is call you beautiful.”
 
“You're not here.”
 
“I could be, if you'd just look for me. I'm not hiding from you, my dear. You
know I'd never attack you the way that monstrosity just did. I care about you
far too much to even consider it. I can't tell you how disappointed I am that
you disappeared. And with  him , no less. The things he says to you make me
want to cut his throat. He doesn't love you. Not like I do.”
 
“Get  out !” she shouted, covering her ears as though doing so could block out
the sound of his voice. “Go away! You're not here!”
 
“Karin!” Suigetsu was on his knees in front of her, concern painted on his
face, plain for her to see. “Karin, snap out of it!” He grasped her biceps and
gave her a shake, hoping to break whatever trance she'd fallen into.
 
“He knows where I am,” Karin confessed, panic in her voice.  “He's been coming
back. He knows. He has to. I don't want him here.”
Suigetsu pulled her to his chest, trying to bring her down from her panic
attack. “You're safe. I won't let anything hurt you.”
 
God, how she wished she could believe him. “You don't know that.”
 
“He would have to kill me to get to you. You're never going back. Not while I'm
still here.”

They were beautiful words, but the voice in the back of her mind whispered
Only as long as you're useful.  The way he rubbed small circles on her back in
an even pattern was, for now, enough to silence it.
***** Chapter 19 *****
Chapter Notes
     I'll follow you down, through the eye of the storm
     Don't worry I'll keep you warm.
     I'll follow you down, while we're passing through space
     I don't care if we fall from grace
     I'll follow you down...
     ...to where forever lies
     Without a doubt I'm on your side
     There's nowhere else that I would rather be
     I'm not about to compromise,
     Give you up to say goodbye
     I'll guide you through the deep
     I'll keep you close to me!
     - Shinedown, "I'll Follow You"
     Soooooooooo I'm sick. I had this chapter ready to go, and it's a
     pretty big one, so I didn't want to leave you guys hanging. I
     probably won't have daily updates until I feel better, though. :(
Doctor Takahashi was terrible when it came to keeping a poker face. Despite her
best efforts, Karin saw right through her every time, even when she was being
good-natured about it all. When the red-headed nurse caught her alone in the
small clinic kitchen, all bets were off. All she had to do was raise one
questioning eyebrow to break the good doctor.
 
Grinning, the woman admitted, “I saw you having dinner with your fisherman on
your day off.”
 
“He’s not  my  fisherman,” Karin corrected her as she took a cold bottle of
water from the refrigerator. “I told you, Mangetsu is a friend.”
 
“As if you don’t want to climb him like a tree.”
 
Both women realized what had been said at the same moment. Karin covered her
mouth to try to catch the water she’d spat out, eyes wide. Doctor Takahashi had
both hands clamped down over her lips, reddening.
 
“Oh, my god, Tsubaki, I’m so sorry. That was completely inappropriate; I didn’t
mean to say that out loud.” She was mortified. They were at work; she was
Tsubaki’s boss. Oh, god, this could be interpreted as harassment so easily.
 
The doctor nearly cried in relief when Karin waved her hand after drying it
with a paper towel. “I don’t think you harassed me, Doctor. Don’t worry about
that. You just caught me off guard.” Karin took a drink of her water, keeping
it down this time. This wasn’t the first instance that the doctor didn’t have a
verbal filter in place.
 
“Oh, good,” she sighed. “But, Tsubaki, if you don’t mind me saying, I think it
would do both of you a lot of good if you just… you know…” She gesticulated
poorly, unable to get her meaning across. “I just want to see you happy. You
look happy when you’re with him, so…” She groaned and put her forehead in her
hand. First the words came too quickly, and now she couldn’t find the right
ones. There was a reason she studied science. “Words aren’t working, but you
know what I’m trying to say, right?”
 
“I do.” It was sweet, having someone look out for her like this. She glanced at
the clock, seeing how close it was to closing. She desperately wanted someone
to talk to; how is it fair that Suigetsu gets Doumeki and she has no one?
Testing the waters, she asked, “We’re friends, right?”
 
“I think we are.” She smiled.
 
“So it would be okay if we, you know, talked?”
 
The doctor motioned to the empty chair at the metal table, which Karin took
gladly. “Of course. Anything you say to me is in confidence.”
 
Karin sighed and gathered up her confidence. “Okay.”
 
Over the next hour, Karin talked about her past, leaving out any identifying
details while still accurately recounting her experiences. Doctor Takahashi
didn’t speak; she only listened to her intently. Karin found herself divulging
more than she had planned, and, at times, more than she’d ever admitted to
herself. The way she talked about it, though, was with a cold detachment that
she’d perfected over the years. It was a protective act, one that kept her from
seeming emotionally invested in her experiences. It was safer that way.
 
“And that was yesterday,” Karin finished, twisting the cap on her water bottle
like it was essential to her livelihood.
 
“That explains why you look like you’d joined an underground fighting ring,”
the doctor mused. In answer to Karin’s questioning glance, she added, “You did
well with the makeup, but nothing holds up when you’re in the clinic.”
 
Karin’s hand covered a bruise on her neck, rubbing the injured skin. “That’s
embarrassing.”
 
“Don’t worry. I doubt anyone else noticed.” She drummed her fingers on the
table. “I have two opinions. One’s as your friend, and the other’s as your
doctor. Which one do you want first?”
 
“The clinical opinion.” It was easier to start with logic than emotion.
 
The doctor nodded. “I believe you have post traumatic stress disorder. It’s not
surprising, after what you’ve told me. I can write you a script, if you like. I
can give you something to, hopefully, keep you from having flashbacks and
nightmares. I can certainly give you something to keep you from seeing him when
he’s not there. I’d start you off on low doses, and we can find what works best
for you. It’s an option, but I’m not sure if you’re okay with medication.”
 
“Yes.” Karin didn’t hesitate. The prospect of getting Kabuto out of her mind
was almost too good to be true. The doctor pulled out her pad and wrote three
different scripts, which Karin then tucked safely away in her pocket. They were
more of a formality than anything else; Karin had access to the medicines
stored in the clinic’s pharmacy, but it was easier to keep everything on
record, even if there wasn’t a whole lot of oversight for a small, beachside
clinic like theirs.
“Now, as your friend?”
 
Karin nodded.
 
“Living with him isn’t the same as  being  with him. Not to Mangetsu. Even if
you think you’re covering all the bases: sex, dates, time spent together, it’s
not what he wants. There’s a difference between wanting someone and wanting to
be with someone. You’re used to being wanted. It’s what you know. As much as it
triggers your memories, it’s almost more comfortable, isn’t it?”
 
Karin didn't know what to say to that. “What else does he want, then?”
 
“An emotional connection. He wants to be happy  with  you, not  because  of
you. Does that make sense?”
 
It did, more than it should have. What she'd seen as being nosy, she now
realized was concern. He hadn't been prying because her misery was affecting
him; he was trying to help her. Karin’s face betrayed the weight she suddenly
felt on her shoulders. The magnitude of this development was baffling. She sat
in silence as she processed this information, the clock ticking away on the
wall.
 
Doctor Takahashi had stood up, but Karin noticed only when the older woman put
her hand on her shoulder and squeezed. She smiled down at her, offering, “It'll
all work out just fine. Have a little faith. And don't forget those scripts;
I'd like to see you well-rested tomorrow.” With that, the doctor took her
leave, and Karin had to stay put awhile until she didn't feel quite so dizzy.
 
As though on autopilot, she finally got to her feet and let them carry her to
the pharmacy. The motions were all mechanical when it came to filling her own
scripts. Three bottles of pills found their way into her purse, and she made
sure to lock every door behind her as she left.
 
===============================================================================
 
“What’s that?” Suigetsu’s voice betrayed his suspicion as Karin swallowed down
the pills she had been given. Her first instinct was to fight, to lash out at
him verbally or perhaps physically for prying into her personal affairs. When
she turned to look at him, she noticed the worry in his eyes. It all came
flooding back to her. The last time he’d seen her take any sort of medication,
she’d nearly overdosed in her desperation to sleep. Her face softened ever so
slightly, remembering what the doctor had told her earlier that day. In a rare
show of compliance, she took the bottles in her hand and brought them to the
table, setting them down in front of Suigetsu as she took her seat.
 
“Doctor Takahashi prescribed these to help me sleep. They should also help with
the nightmares and memories.”
 
Suigetsu studied the labels, face contorted as he tried to make sense of the
medical jargon printed on them. He blinked once as he took in her words. “You
told her?”
 
“Not everything. Most of it. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t
expecting anything, but she’s a good doctor. I trust her enough to give it a
shot.”
 
“Hm.” He slid the bottles over to her, and she moved them aside. “Well, as long
as you take them how she tells you to…”
 
“I’m not going down that road, again.” Her words were affirming for both him
and herself, much to her surprise. “I want to try to do this right, this time.
I think she really wants to help me.”
 
“I mean, you’re friends, right? Why wouldn’t she?” He took a pointed drink out
of his water bottle. “Not everyone’s out to get you, you know.”
 
“I’m working on it,” she admitted.
 
“You’re in a pretty decent mood. Looks like it’s working.”
 
“I just took them, asshole. It’s going to take a few weeks.”
 
“Spoke too soon,” he grumbled to himself, his tongue darting out to capture his
straw. She caught a playful glint in his eye that he tried to conceal, and she
chose not to fight back. He’d continued to deny her attempts to heal him with
her chakra, and his nose was still a sickly color from the bruising she’d
caused.
 
“What did Mr. Doumeki say about your nose?” she asked, grimacing slightly at
the thought.
 
Suigetsu just shrugged. “Told him I deserved it. He didn’t say much about it,
after that. I think he likes you more than me. Probably because you’re not on a
boat with him for ten hours at a time, if you ask me, but…”
 
“You didn’t deserve it.”
 
“Hm?”
 
“I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t exactly know what I was doing at the
time, but you didn’t deserve it. So, I’m sorry.”
 
Suigetsu put his elbows on the table and leaned forward. She’d never said
anything like that before. He didn’t think that those words were even in her
vocabulary. As much as he wanted to make a witty comeback, something told her
that she was being genuine. The only thing he could offer her was a shocked
“Thanks.”
 
The moment was brief. Even though it lasted but a few seconds, Suigetsu
privately considered it one of the best exchanges they’d ever had. She’d begun
prattling on about her day, something about a sick kid she had to clean up
after, but he wasn’t really listening. If she noticed, she didn’t comment. It
was a dangerous thought, but he felt like he could get used to this.
***** Chapter 20 *****
Chapter Notes
     You saw me in new light
     And I saw you
     Sheltered by the night
     Red in tooth and red in claw
     Between the daylight
     And the deep sea
     Lies a swarm of silhouettes
     Floating aimlessly
     But I'm a mountain
     I am a killer
     You'll get lost and buried deep
     If you swim with me
     - Of Monsters and Men, "Slow Life"
     The last update of 2017! Thank you all for reading and commenting. It
     means so much <3
The sleeping medicine worked better than she could have imagined. For the first
week, she didn't dream at all, and her body was finally able to get the rest it
so desperately needed. There were no whispers of Kabuto in her ears as she
slept, and she almost cried after that first, peaceful night. Eventually, she
began to dream again, but they weren't the same nightmares.
 
These dreams were nonsensical, as though they were about nothing at all.
Suigetsu assured her that this was normal, but she wasn't entirely sure. Even
in her wildest dreams, a dog that sounded exactly like Juugo was a little too
out there to be considered run of the mill.
 
She found herself standing in her lab that night, but, somehow, it wasn't  her
lab. It was just different enough to be foreign, but it was still oddly
recognizable. She then realized that she was in the middle of a dissection.
There was a sense of urgency to the procedure, but she knew that she hadn't
studied a corpse in years. Her dream urged her on, and she found herself
speaking to someone else as she performed the autopsy.
 
“Scarring on the internal organs indicates poisoning, but not recent. Seems to
have been removed with a medical jutsu, but not quickly enough.” With deft
hands, she cleanly cut out the stomach and placed it on the scale. “Record
that.” She nodded to the number on the display.
 
“None of the damage seems to be post-mortem. Whoever he was, he put up one hell
of a fight.” She didn't recognize the still face, but it pulled at her
subconscious all the same. From behind her came an incessant tapping noise,
which only increased in frequency. “What the hell are you doing?!” she snapped,
turning around with scalpel in hand.
 
Suigetsu sat on a metal stool, tapping the point of his pen against the
notebook in his lap. “The pen died.”
 
“Get another one, then.”
 
“We don't have any.”
 
“How do we- nevermind. I'm done here, anyway.” Her gloves snapped off of her
hands, and she tossed them on the table. She didn't do anything with the body.
Her dream-self knew it would be taken care of somehow. She took the notebook
from him and scanned it, surprised at how precise his handwriting was.
 
“Let's go. We’re gonna be late.” Suigetsu took her hand and pulled her along,
leading her down unfamiliar hallways. They slowed to a walk, and he let her go,
slipping behind her and covering her eyes with his hand. “Don't look.”
 
“Suigetsu, I swear to god-”
 
“Just trust me, okay?”
 
She did. He walked her forward, step by step, until they rounded a corner. He
moved his hand, revealing to her a crude, makeshift banner that read ‘happy
birthday Karin.’ Underneath it stood Orochimaru, Juugo, Sakura, and a few other
acquaintances, including the yellow-haired annoyance that kept wanting to have
some ‘family bonding’ because of their shared heritage.
 
Suigetsu draped an arm across her shoulders, and she smiled. “You didn't have
to do this.”
 
“I wanted to.”
 
None of this made any sense. There wasn’t any logic to it, and, somehow, she
knew that she was dreaming. With this knowledge, she could easily break the
spell and wake herself up. Yet, she had no desire to do so. Whether or not her
dream could be understood coherently was no reason to pull herself from this
sense of peace. The change wasn’t entirely unpleasant, after all. It would just
take some getting used to.
 
===============================================================================
 
The smell of something burning yanked her out of her dream, dragging her back
to the waking world. She sat up in alarm and jumped to her feet, kicking away
the covers of the futon as she rushed into the main room of the house. Smoke
hung below the ceiling, and she made quick work of opening the windows to let
it clear. She covered her nose and mouth in her hand before walking into the
kitchen in search of the source.
 
Suigetsu stood at the basin, swearing colorfully to and at himself as he doused
a cooking pan with water. He didn’t have time to fetch any, so it was
unfortunate that he had to use proper, drinking water to abate the disaster in
the kitchen. He ground his teeth in frustration as he tried to pry away the
food that was burnt to the bottom of the pan.
 
“What the hell did you do?”
 
He nearly dropped the pan in surprise at her presence. He’d been too
preoccupied to notice her. Turning back to his task, he growled, “I was  trying
to make you breakfast, but  something  had to be so damned  difficult  because
my life can never be fucking  easy. ” In a display of frustration, he let go of
the utensils, letting them clatter into the basin. He huffed before turning
around, his hands gripping the edge of the counter.
 
“What were you trying to make?” She looked up at the smoke, which was trying
its best to leave the house.
 
Suigetsu waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. No big deal.
Whaddya say we go into town, have someone else make food for us?” It was a
diversionary tactic, but it worked better than he’d expected. She gave him a
look, but he was spared a verbal thrashing when she returned to the bedroom. He
let out a sigh of relief. The last thing he needed was to piss her off so early
in the morning. He shot a glare at the pan, vowing to deal with it later, after
she left for work. Push come to shove, it wasn’t anything his water release
couldn’t fix.
 
As they neared the small village, Suigetsu broke the silence that had rested
over their entire walk. “Where do you want to go? It’s your pick.”
 
“Don’t make me choose. I hate when you do that.”
 
“It’s your birthday; you have to pick.”
 
Karin narrowed her eyes at him. What would normally be seen as a kind gesture
was something that dug under her skin, and he knew it. She hated having to make
such arbitrary decisions; he was pickier than she was, by a long shot, and
they’d go in circles for a few minutes before everything was planned. It
annoyed her to no end. Trying to save herself a headache, she offered up one of
the places he never seemed to take issue with. “Tea at Aiko’s?”
 
He grinned, just as she knew he would. “Sure.”
 
===============================================================================
 
Doctor Takahashi leaned against one of the tables in the lab, taking advantage
of a slow hour in the clinic. Karin was focused on the microscope, but that
didn’t deter the older woman from speaking up. “You’re in a good mood, today.”
Her voice betrayed the smile that Karin couldn’t see.
 
“I can be in a good mood.”
 
“Of course you can. I’m just happy for you. The medicines seem to be working
for you?”
 
“As far as I can tell. Although, I’m having some really bizarre dreams. I told
Mangetsu, but he says that most people dream incoherently. I’m not so sure he’s
the best judge of normalcy, though.”
 
The doctor laughed. “He’s right; it’s perfectly normal. It just takes some
getting used to.” She paused for a moment. “Did you think about what we talked
about? You know, with him?”
 
“I have,” Karin stated bluntly, surprising herself with her own honesty. “And
I’m trying. He started a small kitchen fire this morning. I didn’t lose my
temper, and he admitted he was trying to make me breakfast. I let him take me
out to eat, instead.”
 
“That’s sweet of him. What’s the occasion?”
 
“Today’s my birthday,” Karin admitted. She didn’t like for people to make a big
deal out of the day, so she rarely discussed it. “He’s never done anything like
that before, though. I don’t know how to take it, if I’m being honest.”
 
“Why didn't you tell me?! I would have brought something in.”
 
“I don't really celebrate my birthday.”
 
“That's all well and good, but you passed up an opportunity for us to have
cake, and that's just wrong.”
 
Karin laughed at the comment. “My apologies.”
 
“How old are you, now?”
 
“Twenty-one. Why?”
 
“I need to know how many candles to bring.”
 
“Please don't.”
 
“Sorry, Tsubaki, but you're not getting out of this that easily.” The doctor
winked. The bell above the door chimed, and she glanced at her watch. “That's
my three o'clock.”
 
Karin shook her head as the doctor took her advantageous escape from the lab.
There was nothing that could change her mind. She was going to be subjected to
the social anxiety that was a public birthday celebration. Great. Just great.
 
===============================================================================
 
Suigetsu stood, beaming, when she walked through the door that evening. She
eyed him with suspicion, unsure of what he was up to. She hung her coat by the
door and walked over, noticing that the small table had been set with bowls of
rice and a plate of grilled fish. He gestured for her to sit, informing her, “I
figured I owed you a round two after this morning. It's not high-class, but at
least it isn't burnt!” He grinned at his own joke, trying to lighten the mood.
 
To his relief, Karin didn't say anything one way or the other. She nodded her
approval when she tried the fish. “What did you put on this?”
 
“I got some spices from a merchant passing through. He had stuff I'd only ever
seen back home. Gotta admit, I missed it.”
 
“It's wonderful.” She truly meant it. If there was one thing Suigetsu knew how
to cook, it was fish.
 
He grinned at her unexpected praise. “Thanks. There's a couple more recipes I
remember from when I was a kid that I can try, now.”
 
“Good. Maybe you can cook for a change.”
 
“Watch it,” he gestured with his chopsticks in warning. “I cook my fair share,
and you know it.”
 
She did, but it was amusing to say otherwise, and so she often contradicted
him. Tonight, however, she had to admit that it was a nice gesture, especially
after that morning's less than stellar attempt. It was impressive that he
hadn't given up altogether. “I'm impressed you remembered my birthday.”
 
“How come?” Suigetsu looked over at her. “It's easy. It's the earliest day that
the summer solstice can fall on.” He shrugged, as though it was obvious.
 
“I’d never thought about that.”
 
“Yeah, because it's  your  birthday. Of course you remember it.” He set down
his chopsticks and reached into his pocket. “Speaking of which…” A small box
slid across the table as he pushed it, watching her with a grin.
 
Karin took the box from him, opening it with some hesitation. Inside was a
small metal bar, capped on either end by silver balls. She picked it up between
her thumb and index finger, examining it with some confusion.
 
“It's a piercing. You know, for your ear,” Suigetsu explained. “I can return it
if you don't like it, but the shopkeeper had one, and I think you'd look badass
with it.”
 
Karin stood and walked into the bedroom, returning with a senbon between her
fingers. She sat down in front of Suigetsu and moved her hair to the side,
handing him the weapon. “Go ahead.”
 
“You sure about this?” He leaned forward so that he could look her in the eye.
 
“I trust you.”
 
“Okay, but you asked for this. Don't hurt me.” He took the cartilage of her ear
and stretched it taut, lining up the senbon. “Stay still. I don't want to mess
this up.”
 
Karin winced, but she didn't make a sound. She took a breath in and braced
herself a second time. “Go.”
 
Suigetsu made the second piercing. Moving quickly, he inserted the bar. “Done.”
 
“And?”
 
“It's badass.”
***** Chapter 21 *****
Chapter Notes
     I don't know where you're going
     But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
     I don't know where I'm going
     But I don't think I'm coming home and I said
     I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
     This is the road to ruin
     And we're starting at the end
     - Fall Out Boy, "Alone Together"
     Happy New Year! I wanted to get this chapter out to kick off 2018! :)
With a bag of groceries in the crook of his arm, Suigetsu strolled down the
waterfront. After a long day on the boat, he was looking forward to taking off
his shoes and relaxing in the few solitary hours he had before Karin came home
from the clinic. His pace was rhythmic, and he sang to himself with each step,
trying to get Doumeki’s sailor song out of his head.
 
“ Farewell and adieu unto you Suna ladies
Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Wind
For it's we've received orders for to sail for old Kiri
But we hope very soon we shall see you again!”
 
Dammit, why did it have to be so catchy? The old man seemed to have a thousand
of them tucked away in his memory. One by one, Suigetsu was learning them by
heart, unable to escape the shanties in the confines of the small boat. He
hummed the tune to himself, having forgotten the next several lines of the
song. Unable to remember what came next, he looped back around to the
beginning.
 
“ Farewell and adieu unto you Suna ladies
Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Wind.”
 
He kicked his shoes off at the door and began to walk to the kitchen.
 
“For it's we've received orders for to sail for old Kiri
But we hope very soon we shall see you again!”
 
He held the last note dramatically, just for the hell of it. The brown, paper
bag found a place on the countertop. Suigetsu’s hand darted out, grabbing a
sharp kitchen knife by the handle. If he hadn’t been so self-absorbed a moment
ago, he would have noticed the intruder before now. But this wasn’t the time to
curse himself. He wheeled around, putting his back to the counter for his own
safety. Upon seeing the face of the intruder, he faltered, nearly dropping the
knife.
 
“Juugo?”
 
The tall man was relaxed, completely non-threatened by Suigetsu’s defensive
posture. “I can’t believe I actually found you all the way out here.”
 
“What are you doing here, Juugo?” Suigetsu couldn’t keep the suspicion out of
his voice.
 
“Lord Orochimaru sent me to find you and bring you home.” A large hand pulled
out a chair, which he sat on. “I’ve been looking for months. Sasuke sent word
that you’d vanished, and Lord Orochimaru sent me on your trail. You did a good
job of not leaving one.”
 
“I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?”
 
Juugo shook his head.
 
Suigetsu had to think fast. “Let’s get going, then. I don’t have anything to
bring with me, other than the sword.”
 
“We can’t leave without Karin.”
 
“Tough shit, then. She bailed about a month ago.” He was lying through his
teeth, and hopefully it was believable. “What, you think she wouldn’t’ve killed
me by now? She got sick of my shit. Didn’t tell me where she went. Didn’t care
to ask.”
 
“You’re a terrible liar.”
 
“The fuck would I lie about that? Crazy bitch does what she wants, you know
that. Good riddance. She can go piss somebody else off.”
 
Juugo reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of pill bottles, which
he sat down on the table. All of them were printed with Karin’s name. So, he’d
gone snooping around the bedroom, then. “The date on these is from earlier this
week. They’re nearly full. They were on the sink, along with a brush with her
hair in it, and her glasses case.” Checkmate. “What’s going on, Suigetsu?”
 
The white-haired man sighed, lacing his fingers behind his head. “Look, man.
I’ll go back with you. I won’t say a damned word about it, either. Just let her
stay. It’s good for her, here.”
 
“I have to bring both of you back.”
 
“But  why ?”
 
“Lord Orochimaru needs help with Mitsuki. Karin’s the only one who has been
there for the entire process. He won't take no for an answer. I might get away
with taking her and letting you stay here, but not the other way around. If
you'd prefer that-”
 
“No. You're not taking her back. Not without me.”
 
“Why the sudden devotion?”
 
“You were there. You saw how bad she got. If I didn't want her to off herself
then, why would I now?”
 
“Suit yourself.”
 
“We won't stay.” Suigetsu looked at Juugo, daring him to protest. “We go, do
what needs to be done, and we're gone. Fuck, you could come too, if you want.”
 
“I can't leave Sasuke. You know that.”
 
“Fuck him! He's not Kimimaro.”
 
“Careful,” Juugo warned.
 
They were pulled from their conversation when the front door opened. Karin
stood in the threshold, gripping Suigetsu’s fishing pole as a weapon. She'd
sensed Juugo long before she saw him, and she was ready for a fight. “How did
you find us?” The look in her eye was that of a cornered animal, but one that
wasn’t going down without a fight.
 
“It wasn't easy. Lord Orochimaru sent for you. You need to come back with me;
Mitsuki is giving him more trouble than he thought.”
 
“Why should I care? He can go straight to hell.” She stepped into the house and
set down the pole. She stood straight as she challenged, “You can stay, or you
can leave and forget you ever saw us. I am  not  going back.”
 
“Either you go to him, or he comes to you. You won't like the second one, trust
me.”
 
“Look, babe, get in, get out, done. He finds us here, we can't come back, and
you know it. Juugo won't tell, will you?” Suigetsu looked back at him.
 
The giant shook his head. “There's no reason to say where I found you, if you
come back with me.”
 
“I'm not going, Suigetsu.” Karin narrowed her eyes at him.
 
Suigetsu sighed. “Give us a minute, would you, Juugo?” He waited until their
old teammate stepped out the front door before he approached her. “I don't like
it either. But we don't really have a choice. If he comes here, we put the
whole place at risk. We can't do that. Not if we ever want to come back.” He
reached out and put his hands on her hips, drawing her a step closer. “It'll
be, what, a week and a half, tops? Like I said. Get in, get out. Do what you
gotta do. Poison his tea for all I care. Then we fuck off and do a better job
of covering our trail.” He put a finger under her chin to lift her face to his.
“Okay?”
 
“No, it's not okay,” she hissed, but her anger wasn't directed at him. “There's
no way to know he'll let us leave. You know him as well as I do. He might just
hold us prisoner.” She leaned her head down, resting it against his shoulder.
“I'll go. You stay here.”
 
“Fuck no.”
 
“You don't need to get wrapped up in this. Stay, hold down the fort. Make
something up for Doctor Takahashi.”
 
“Not happening. You go, I go. That's the deal.”
 
“Quit being stubborn.”
 
“You, first.”
 
Karin lifted her head so that she could stare him down. He didn't waver. There
was no arguing with him, and she knew it. They would go round and round until
one of them waited just a second too long, declaring the other the victor. She
had a long day, and she was smart enough to know that she would be the loser.
Rather than expend her energy, she clenched her jaw and muttered, “Fine.”
 
“Everything's gonna be okay,” he assured her, drawing her into an embrace that
he felt she needed. She didn't push him away, and he knew he had been right.
“Go pack our stuff. I'll tell Juugo and write a note for Doumeki. Hopefully, I
can convince Juugo to let us sleep here for the night. Wish me luck.”
 
She shifted in his hold, and, to his surprise, gave him a quick peck. The look
in her eyes was regretful, mourning their circumstances but remaining silent.
She broke away, offering him a half-hearted “Good luck.” The door to the
bedroom closed behind her.
 
Suigetsu sighed and rubbed his face, wishing he was half as confident as he
sounded. The deep, dark part of himself, the place that was bloodthirsty,
suggested that he just cut Juugo down and be done with it. Yet, this annoying
concept called camaraderie and friendship kept him from listening, even if it
would have been the easiest way out. Karin would be pissed if he did anything
of the sort. He was well and truly fucked.
 
He stepped out the front door and approached Juugo, who was staring at the sea.
“We’ll go with you,” he declared. “Here.” Several bills found their way into
Juugo’s palm. “Go get a room at the inn. It’ll be better for everyone if we get
going in the morning. Karin and I worked most of the day; we wouldn’t get far.
Might as well be comfortable.”
 
“I can stay here, save your money,” Juugo protested, uncomfortable with the
gesture.
 
“Just go. Trust me, there’s nowhere for you to sleep here.”
 
“If you’re sure…”
 
“I am. We won’t go anywhere. Just meet us here tomorrow morning. Let us sleep
in a little bit, though. Okay?”
“If that’s what you want.” Juugo shrugged. Despite their desertion, he still
held a lot of faith in both Karin and Suigetsu. “I’ll see you in the morning, I
guess.”
 
“Sleep tight, big guy!” Suigetsu called after Juugo’s shrinking form. Once he
was far enough away, Suigetsu let his smile fall from his face. He groaned in
frustration and kicked the sand at his feet. Dammit, why now?! He stalked back
into the house, locking the door behind him for good measure, even if it
wouldn’t keep any shinobi out.
 
On the other side of the bedroom door, Karin sat on her knees, packing away
what little they had to their names. A tight knot sat in her stomach, a
physical manifestation of pure dread. She wanted to run, but there was nowhere
she could go that she couldn’t be found now that Juugo had discovered her. Lost
in these thoughts, she almost didn’t notice that Suigetsu had returned. Her
fingers rubbed her brow when she asked, “How much of this do you want packed or
stored?” She gave a nod to his dresser drawers.
 
“Don’t worry about that right now.”
 
Her eyes flashed when she looked up at him. “And how the hell am I supposed to
do that?” Her tone was harsh, even though her anger wasn’t with him. She caught
herself, and her hands tightened around the shirt she was holding. A deep
breath, and she continued calmly, “Who knows if we’ll be coming back. We have
to take everything, just in case, and we don’t have time to-”
 
“Hey,” he knelt down beside her, loosening her fingers from the fabric. “We’re
gonna be back. I told you that. We’ll pack up our stuff anyway, but we won’t be
gone long. You need to believe that.”
 
“I wish I could.”
 
“C’mon, don’t give me that face. What can I do to help?”
 
He didn’t know what was happening until his back hit the ground, his head
smacking harshly against the floor. Her lips were on his, moving almost
desperately. She drug her teeth along his bottom lip, and he tried to protest.
Her breath was hot on the shell of his ear when she said “I need a
distraction.”
 
He grinned lecherously up at her. “I guess I could help with that.”
 
“Good. Because who knows when we’ll get to do this again.”
 
“Don’t say shit like that, babe.”
 
“I’m serious. We won’t be traveling alone, and god knows what we’re getting
pulled into by Lord Orochimaru.”
 
“Can you  please  not remind me of creepy snake grandpa when you’re on top of
me?”
 
She smirked and ground her hips against his, effectively banishing the thought
from his mind. “You’d better make this good.”
 
“Oh, I can do that.”
***** Chapter 22 *****
Chapter Notes
     You put a sour little flavor in my mouth now
     You move in circles hoping no one's gonna find out
     But we're so lucky,
     Kiss the ring and let 'em bow down
     Looking for the time of your life (ain't always gonna find out)
     A pretty picture but the scenery is so loud,
     A face like heaven catching lighting in your nightgown,
     But back away from the water, babe, you might drown
     The party isn't over tonight (lighting in your nightgown)
     - Panic! at the Disco, "Miss Jackson"
“Lord Orochimaru has relocated to the Hidden Sound for the time being,” Juugo
informed his companions as they ran, doing their best to make good time. Both
Karin and Suigetsu wanted to get the whole thing over with as soon as possible,
and he could respect that. There was no reason to linger on their journey from
the Land of Wind; in fact, they’d gone without sleep almost every other night,
trying to cover more ground. “He sent me to find you when he left the Land of
Fire. I’m not sure why he switched hideouts, though.”
 
“We brought a lot of equipment with us to the Land of Fire, but the labs in the
Sound were set up exclusively for experimentation,” Karin recalled. “Odds are,
they’re at the main research station there.” She wasn’t keen on returning now
that she knew; both she and Suigetsu had spent years underground there, him as
an experiment and her as an assistant. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant place.
 
“Great,” Suigetsu spat sarcastically. “Traumatize another kid there, why don’t
you, old man?”
 
“He’s trying his best with Mitsuki,” Juugo added, instinctively protective of
their master.
 
“Oh, so he hasn’t killed him, yet?”
 
“Suigetsu, stop.” Karin shot him a glare. She didn’t want to think about it,
either, but he wasn’t helping by being harsh. Muscle memory carried her out of
the way of Orochimaru’s traps, which littered the area around the hideout.
Juugo and Suigetsu fell in behind her, following in her footsteps. Neither of
them had come and gone from this place as frequently as she had. The closer
they came, the more vile the taste in her mouth grew. Her subconscious was
screaming at her to flee, but she steeled her nerves. She would do what needed
to be done, and not one single thing more.
 
Her feet touched down on cobbled stone, and her companions landed just a few
seconds apart. The tunnel before her was dark and imposing. Her jaw clenched as
she forced herself to face it. It wasn’t until she felt Suigetsu’s hand on her
shoulder that she snapped back to reality. “Let’s get this over with,” she
growled, squaring her shoulders as she began to walk. Her heels clicked on the
stone floor, echoing down the hall. If memory served, she had a strong feeling
that she knew where Orochimaru would be.
 
Predictably, as she turned a corner to the left, light streamed out of an open
door near the end of the hall. She’d been in that room many times, both as
patient and researcher. She did her best to still the nausea she felt, but acid
tried to creep up her throat all the same. Suigetsu’s concern rolled through
his chakra in waves, but she couldn’t calm herself enough to reassure him that
she was okay. She didn’t even know if she was. Stepping over the threshold,
fluorescent light illuminated her, and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust.
 
“Ah, Juugo, I see you managed to find our wayward souls,” Orochimaru’s voice
purred from across the room. The sannin lifted himself from his desk chair and
crossed the lab, coming to stand in front of the trio. He smiled disarmingly,
but it was clearly forced. “Although, I’m surprised you’ve both returned in one
piece. I was sure you’d have killed one another by now.” He approached Karin
and turned, standing by her side. A cold hand rested between her shoulder
blades as he led her over to his desk.
 
“Tell me, my dear, did you do that to your hair voluntarily, or did Suigetsu
take a kunai to it in your sleep?” Golden eyes glittered with amusement as
Orochimaru noticed the shaved portion of Karin’s head, but his joke didn’t
catch on, to his disappointment. “Very well, then,” he diverted, trying not to
seem perturbed that his humor had fallen flat. He handed Karin a lab coat, one
she had worn many times before. The pocket still held her pen and flip
notebook. “Mutsuki is giving me far more trouble than I expected. I need an
extra set of hands and another mind for this.” He looked back over his
shoulder. “You two are dismissed. Do what you please.”
 
“I’ll stay here, thanks.” Suigetsu sat down defiantly in Orochimaru’s desk
chair. He crossed his legs and leaned back against the edge of the desk,
observing with an expressionless face.
 
“I see,” Orochimaru smirked. “Do stay out of the way.”
 
“Mitsuki seems fine,” Karin declared, studying the monitors that were hooked up
to the boy. “What do you need me for?”
 
“His chakra pathways are congested. I assume it’s because he isn’t naturally-
born.” Orochimaru placed his hand gently on the sleeping child’s cheek. “It’s a
persistent issue. He can’t be self-sustaining if his life force can’t flow
freely through his body.”
 
Karin turned her piercing glare on him. “Don’t tell me that you brought me back
just to give him some of my chakra.”
 
“If it were that simple, I could have worked it out myself. No, his levels are
more than sufficient.”
 
“I’ll help you figure out what’s wrong, but that’s all,” Karin warned him. “I’m
leaving as soon as we’re through.”
 
“You can’t do that,” Orochimaru frowned. “It took months for me to call on you.
I can’t have that happening again. You’ve been offered protection because you
operate under my domain.”
 
Ah, so he planned to hold her freedom against her. She crossed her arms and
lifted her chin in defiance. “I will have independent status, the same you gave
me before your death. I’ll operate under, but outside of, you. I’ll have my own
authority, my own finances, and a choice on what I will and will not do. In
return, you’ll be aware of my location and can call on me should you need me.
Agreed?”
 
“You’re asking for quite a bit.”
 
“Nothing more than you gave Kabuto.”
 
The two scientists stared one another down, refusing to budge from their
positions. After a few tense moments, Orochimaru grinned. He was quite proud of
her. She hadn’t shown this much backbone in years. “Very well. Consider his job
yours. He trained you well for it, after all.” He hummed to himself, turning
back to Mitsuki. “You’ll find my observations on my desk. Read over them and
tell me what you think. Take all the time you need, although I’d prefer to get
started as soon as possible.”
 
“Yes, my lord.”
 
Orochimaru eyed Juugo and Suigetsu with suspicion. “Will they be a
distraction?”
 
“I’ll handle it if they are.”
 
“Excellent. You’ll know where to find me, of course.”
 
Suigetsu tried to catch Karin’s eye, but she remained focused on the task at
hand. She hopped up on the desk beside him, taking Orochimaru’s notebook in her
hands. It was going to be a very long night.
 
===============================================================================
 
Karin sat beside Mitsuki’s bed, her head in her hands as she tried to fight off
fatigue. She placed her forearms on the mattress and looked wearily at the
sleeping child. With a sigh, she asked, “What’s wrong with you?” Everything
would be so much easier if he could answer. She’d read Orochimaru’s notes three
times, and nothing stood out to her as unusual. It was frustrating not being
able to figure out what should have been a simple puzzle. She was intimately
aware with how the human body functioned, and yet, there was nothing she could
see that would cause such a reaction in Mitsuki’s chakra pathways. She couldn’t
be that rusty; years of research didn’t disappear overnight.
 
She reached out and placed her hand on top of his, almost half the size of her
own. “Help me out, here, Mitsuki,” she murmured, resting her forehead against
his cold fingers. A knock on the doorframe startled her, and she shot up out of
the chair. She sat back down with a thump when she saw that it was only
Suigetsu. “Don’t do that.”
 
“You need to sleep.” He stepped into the lab, nodding at the clock. “It’s four
in the morning. You said you’d get to sleep five hours ago.”
 
“I know.” Karin leaned back in her chair. She took off her glasses and rubbed
her tired eyes. “I can’t figure it out. I’ve been over it all several times.
There’s nothing objectively wrong with him.” Her glasses came to rest on the
bridge of her nose once more. “There shouldn’t be any issue. Orochimaru did
everything perfectly. Mitsuki should be a perfectly healthy little boy, but
here he is, not even able to wake up.”
 
Suigetsu moved to stand behind her chair, letting her rest her head against his
abdomen. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Babe, you need to sleep. He’s
not going anywhere.”
 
“I’m smarter than this. It shouldn’t be this hard. What am I missing?”
 
“You’re tired. You can’t think straight.” He gave her shoulders a guiding push.
“You’re coming to bed, sleeping, and then you can come back to this in the
morning. You’re a real bitch when you don’t sleep, and nobody wants to deal
with that.”
 
“Asshole,” she growled, but she let him steer her out of the lab all the same.
It was easy to tell that he was leading her back to her old bedroom. In her
tired state, it brought about a weird sense of deja vu. Wait, the entire time
Suigetsu was here, he was kept in a stasis pod; it wasn’t until Sasuke broke
him out that he was free, and they didn’t stay. Idly, she wondered if he had
taken over her room.
 
Her question was answered when she saw the sheets of her bed in disarray,
clearly thrown off when he’d woken up to get her. Their packs sat on the floor,
a stark contrast to the few things she’d left behind. On her bedside table, a
picture frame lay face-down against the wood. She couldn’t remember having
placed it that way. She sat down on the edge of the bed and picked it up,
brushing the dust from the glass.
 
She was much younger in the picture, about fourteen or fifteen, if she had to
guess. She was dressed in a brightly patterned yukata, and a mask was tied
around her head, sitting to the right side of her face, out of the way. Her
hair was pulled up on top of her head, and in one hand she held a stick of
dango. Her other hand was wrapped around her companion’s wrist, forcing his
fingers up into a peace sign, extended to the camera. Kabuto was looking at
her, rather than the lens, a look of amused annoyance on his face. He seemed to
be fussing at her, but he wore a playful grin that contrasted the behavior.
Like her, he had a mask to the side of his face, and he was clad in a purple
yukata with a grey obi. His other arm was extended, reaching for a stick of
dango held by a hand, cut off at the edge of the photo. She’d clearly pulled
him away for the photo before he could get his own.
 
Mindlessly, she opened the drawer to her bedside table and placed the photo
inside, closing it without a second thought. She remembered why she’d chosen to
leave these things behind, now.
 
Suigetsu’s snoring pulled her from her revelry. That’s right, she needed to
sleep. Half-awake, she dug through her pack until she found a change of
clothes. When she stripped, she didn’t bother putting her clothes in the
basket. They’d be just as at home on the floor for the night. She pulled the
tie from her hair and settled down under the sheets, turning her back to the
bedside table. With a few shifts of her body, she’d aligned herself against
Suigetsu, and she put her head on his chest. A sharp poke in the ribs startled
him enough that he stopped snoring, but not enough that he awoke. Finally. She
settled in, hoping to get at least a few hours of sleep before someone decided
to wake her.
 
===============================================================================
 
“You’re going about this all wrong, you know.”
 
Karin spun around at the sound of his voice, taking a step back from him.
Kabuto sat on a wooden porch she didn’t recognize, leaning back on one hand and
drinking sake with the other. He was dressed in the same yukata from the
picture she’d just seen. Clearly, in her sleep-addled state, her brain was
trying to process the memory as a dream. Knowing this logically didn’t help in
the moment. He set down his sake and beckoned to her, inviting her to join him.
 
Against her own volition, her feet carried her forward. He smiled at her,
sickly sweet, the way he always did when he was being subtly patronizing.
Another drink from his cup, then, “You’re being too superficial. You won’t find
the answer in notes of vital signs. I taught you better than that, my little
flame.”
 
“Go to hell,” she hissed.
 
Kabuto let out a world-weary sigh, looking up at the full moon hanging in the
sky. “I’m trying to help you, you know. Don’t blame me just because your
subconscious manifested me to help you understand the problem.”
 
“I don’t need your help. I don’t need anything from you.”
 
“We both know that’s a lie.” He grinned devilishly, rotating his wrist so that
the sake in his cup rippled in small waves. “I know everything you know. You’re
the one who brought me here. Save your energy and be honest, hm?” He continued
before she could answer him. “We were in Wave Country during the Tanabata
festival when that picture was taken, do you remember? ‘The Cowherd and the
Weaver Girl.’ You loved that story. Orihime and Hikoboshi, or whatever names
the storyteller gave them; you were always enamored. You had the sweetest smile
every time the two were finally allowed to meet again, on the seventh day of
the seventh month. I’d never seen you so heartbroken as the one year it rained
on Tanabata.”
 
“What’s your point?” She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. He ignored
her, a faraway look in his gaze. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t pull
herself out of the dream.
 
“Do you remember the wishes we tied to the bamboo? Mine was simple: that we
could successfully complete our mission. You wouldn’t tell me yours.” His eyes
glinted. “I snuck a peek when your back was turned, you know. Yours was that
I’d return your affections. Very sweet, I have to say. Not the most orthodox
way to confess infatuation, but all the same. You made me sing with you.” He
cleared his throat.
 
“The bamboo leaves rustle,
shaking away in the leaves.
The stars twinkle
on the gold and silver grains of sand.
The five-colour paper strips
I have already written.
The stars twinkle,
they watch us from heaven.”
 
She’d forgotten how much she’d enjoyed listening to him sing. Her heart
twisted, but she pushed through, maintaining her resolve. “I don’t see how any
of this is relevant.”
 
“It isn’t,” he said with a smile. “I just wanted to reminisce for a while.
Think of better times.” He refilled his cup and offered it to Karin, who glared
at him until he pulled his arm back. He stood up and stretched, his back
popping into place the way it always did. When he approached her, she couldn’t
move, no matter how hard he tried. His hands came to rest on her hips, and he
smiled down at her. “I haven’t forgotten that night, and neither have you. It
was the first night I had you, after all. Such a little minx, waiting for me in
my bed the way you were.” His voice had dropped to a purr as his lips brushed
her ear. “You always had a bit of the devil in you.”
 
A shiver ran down her spine, and she struggled between equally strong feelings
of disgust and infatuation. “Stop,” she ordered.
 
“Ah, ah. That wasn’t our safeword.” His chuckle vibrated against her chest.
“Why won’t you just admit that you miss me? That I’m better than he is? I
challenged you. I was your equal intellectually, physically, sexually. He’s
nothing compared to that. He doesn’t know you like I do.” His fingers trailed
over familiar territory.
 
“You’re a sociopath.”
 
“So are you. And you wear it so well.”
 
Karin found her strength and shoved him away, making him stumble back several
steps. The force wasn’t a deterrent; the look in his eyes made that abundantly
clear. “I’m nothing like you!”
 
“I thought I told you it’s pointless to lie to yourself.” He gave a lecherous
grin. “You know this is a dream. Just give in. What’s the harm? This is all in
your mind. No consequences, no repercussions. No one would ever have to know.”
 
“Get  out! ”

Kabuto sighed and shook his head. “How disappointing. Well, you know where I am
when you change your mind. And you  will , trust me.” He turned his back on
her, vanishing from her sight with each step he took. All that remained was the
porch and the cup of sake, which Karin threw back without hesitation.
***** Chapter 23 *****
Chapter Notes
     Babe, there's something tragic about you
     Something so magic about you
     Don't you agree?
     Babe, there's something lonesome about you
     Something so wholesome about you
     Get closer to me
     No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony
     No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me
     Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
     Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
     Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
     I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
     - Hozier, "From Eden"
Mitsuki lay on the table, immobile as his chest rose and fell in a regular
rhythm. Karin’s hands hovered over his body, probing with her chakra in search
of his ailment. From head to toe, she couldn’t detect anything out of the
ordinary. She set her hands down and leaned forward onto the table. Her eyes
closed as she willed herself to think.
 
“You’re going about this all wrong, you know.”
 
That was far from helpful. She didn’t need Kabuto in her head. She was trying
to focus, and ever since she had woken up, she’d been on edge. Luckily, she
hadn’t run into Suigetsu yet. It might have been a dream, but she had been
tempted. It took everything she had to force him out, and she was loathe to
admit it to herself.
 
Suigetsu was right about Kabuto, in so many ways. But that didn’t erase the
good times they’d had together. She couldn’t believe that the entire thing was
a farce. No one was that good. Whether he remembered that festival fondly or
not, she doubted he was acting that night. It was one of the rare times he’d
laughed, something he did only when he allowed himself to relax. She hated that
she knew that about him. It was conflicting. She wanted to loathe him, she
wanted to be strong enough to detest him; yet, he’d made her happy. The voice
in her head reminded her that her manipulated past was talking, but it was
difficult to listen.
 
Her love for him hadn’t been a lie, even if his had been.
 
 “You’re being too superficial. You won’t find the answer in notes of vital
signs. I taught you better than that, my little flame.”
 
She couldn’t stay in the lab and think about him any longer. She didn’t need
him in her mind, because she was starting to wonder what conclusions he would
draw from the available information. There was no denying that he was an
admirable scientist. He was highly intelligent and well-practiced in several
fields. He had been her mentor, everything else aside, and he’d taught her
well. Yet, she couldn’t crack the code. Wondering whether or not he could
wasn’t doing anything positive for her focus or her self-esteem.
 
Her latex gloves were thrown into the trash with excessive force. She needed to
clear her head. Her fingers removed the tie from her hair and ran them through
it, trying to get it back in place. As much as she didn’t want to, it was time
to report to Orochimaru. It was never good to come to him with nothing, but she
didn’t have much of a choice. Her feet led her to the appropriate door, and she
knocked politely out of habit.

“Enter.”
 
The door opened to reveal Orochimaru, who was sitting at his desk and reading
an aged scroll. He looked up and over at her. His hands began to roll the
scroll back into place. “Ah, Karin. Good news, I hope?”
 
“I’m sorry, my lord. I’ve gone over everything. It’s not anything that I’m
capable of fixing.”
 
She was caught off guard by the pained look that crossed the pale man’s face.
His eyes saw through her, past her to something she couldn’t see. He leaned
back in his chair and, in a display of fatigue she’d never seen, rubbed his
eyes with one hand. “I see.”
 
“My lord?” Karin took a step forward, not entirely sure what to do.
 
Orochimaru turned in his chair to face her. It was then that he said the few
words she’d never thought she’d hear from him: “I’m at a loss.” He stood up and
picked up the scroll, crossing the room to put it back on the shelf. “I’ve
tried everything I can think of. Nothing’s worked.”
 
“Has Sakura returned from the mission, yet?”
 
“I don’t believe so. Why?” When he turned around, it was clear that he knew she
had something on her mind.
 
“The only thing I can think to do would be a sort of fine-tuned acupuncture.
Perhaps, if pulses of chakra are pumped into the blockages, they’ll be forced
open.” It wasn’t a guarantee, but it was the best she could come up with. “The
person would need extremely precise chakra control, much finer than what I’m
capable of. Sakura is the only ninja that comes to mind who might be able to
perform the procedure.”
 
The sannin tapped his chin in thought. “She’s still in the Land of Iron, as far
as I know. Princess Tsunade could help, if only I knew where she was or how to
contact her…”
 
“Do you have allies from other lands? There has to be someone.” Orochimaru’s
network was far too vast for him not to have other options available.
 
“Perhaps. I’ll need to establish contact with some old friends if I want to
find out.” The man approached Karin and placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Excellent work. This is the first lead I’ve had in months.” He withdrew his
hand and sat down at his desk once more. “I never thought it’d be you to take
on the roll, but you’re filling Kabuto’s shoes quite well. You should be
proud.”
 
“Thank you, my lord.”
 
“I’ll ask that you stay for the time being. Should I make contact with an ally,
and should they agree to assist us, there’s still no guarantee that this will
work. I will most likely need your council in the near future.”
 
“Yes, my lord.”
 
“Oh, and Karin? I see that you’ve grown close to our Kiri friend. I’ll look the
other way, just as I did with Kabuto, so long as you don’t let this tryst
interfere with your work. Agreed?”
 
Karin paused on her way out the door. Stiffly, she inquired, “What are you
talking about?”
 
Orochimaru smiled down at his work, amused at what he assumed was her playing
coy. “My dear, it matters little to me who you choose to warm your bed. I’m
only reminding you not to let it cloud your judgement. You do supersede
Suigetsu, after all.” His pen tapped on a sheet of paper to get the ink
flowing. “Kabuto wasn’t permitted to give you preferential treatment. I ask
that you do the same.”
 
Her knuckles were white from grasping the doorknob. Through gritted teeth, she
affirmed, “Yes, my lord.”
 
Resisting the urge to slam the door was one of the most challenging moments of
her life.
 
===============================================================================
 
“ Goddammit! ” The glass slipped through Karin’s fingers when she hurled a
beaker against the far wall, where it shattered into thousands of little
pieces. “That lying  son of a bitch !” Here in her old lab, she could vent her
frustration and anger away from everyone else. This wing had been unused for
years now; there was no need for it once the hideout had been abandoned. In the
moment, she couldn’t care less about the damage she was causing. She was far
more dangerous than anything Orochimaru would do to her. Even he knew when to
back down from her temper.
 
She let out a shout as she threw another beaker, feeling strangely vindicated
when it broke apart. “ Mother-fucking, ” crash, “ manipulative, ” bang, “
ASSHOLE! ” Anything in Kabuto’s portion of the old lab was fair game for her
wrath. If he’d so much as touched it, it found its way into her hand and on the
path to its destruction. Wordless rage came out in the form of a scream. Her
arm ached down to the bone from the exertion, but she was blind to it in the
moment.
 
“I’ll rip his fucking heart out!” A test-tube rack splintered into pieces,
coming apart from the force of the impact. The wood made a harsher sound than
the glass had, and it was strangely satisfying. Her fingertips brushed polished
steel, and she looked to the right only to see that the workstation was now
bare. “Dammit!” She kicked the side of the desk, and it screeched against the
tile floor. “Dammit…”
 
Her back slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. She drew her
legs to her chest and put her head on her knees, exhausted and defeated. It was
only when the lenses of her glasses became dirtied that she realized she was
crying. She lifted her head and leaned it back against the wall, staring up at
the high ceiling. What was she doing here? What did any of it even matter? She
couldn’t help Mitsuki, the one person in this god-forsaken hole who’d never
done anything wrong. She could hardly keep her wits about her, and virtually
every room held some sort of triggering memory. She couldn’t keep Kabuto out of
her head, no matter how hard she tried.
 
She was so sick and tired of living life as Karin. Tsubaki had a peaceful life,
out beside the beach in a village where she was accepted despite being a total
stranger. Her work in the clinic was appreciated and respected, and the worst
she had to deal with amounted to the rare difficult pregnancy or broken bone.
Tsubaki bathed in the ocean and walked on the sand, had someone who cared
deeply about her and who would do anything for her. Karin, however, had
nothing.
 
Time passed strangely in the lab. It always had. When Suigetsu opened one of
the doors and peered inside, Karin wasn’t sure just how long she’d been sitting
there. “Babe, you in here?”
 
She seriously considered not answering him. She wanted to be left alone.
However, it seemed like she couldn’t even have that luxury. He spotted her when
he wandered into the lab, eyes widening when he got a good look at the room.
“The hell happened?” He approached her with caution.
 
“Nothing.” She would have been more convincing if her voice hadn’t been sore
from shouting.
 
He knelt down in front of her, and she turned her head to the side, unwilling
to face him head-on. “Look me in the eye and tell me that it’s nothing.”
 
“Just leave me alone, Suigetsu.” God, she was so tired.
 
“Tough shit. Now, talk to me.”
 
“I don’t want to.”
 
“Why not?”
 
“Just stop it.”
 
“Karin-”
 
“ He knew ! Okay?! He  fucking  knew! Sasuke knew, Orochimaru knew, everybody
knew but  me! ” Karin’s fingers knotted in her hair at the back of her head. “I
don’t know what’s real and what’s not, anymore. He told me that we couldn’t let
Orochimaru find out, but he knew all along. What else was a lie? Everything I
did, everything he said, none of it makes sense anymore. And then that
goddamned  picture! He’s in my head, and I can’t get rid of him. I was  so
close  to listening, to believing him, and I  hate  myself for it!”
 
Suigetsu reached out and took her by the wrists, pulling her hands away from
her hair. “Babe, what are you talking about? Breathe. Just breathe with me,
okay?”
 
Karin shook her head, trying to pull away. “You don’t understand. I thought I
was done. I thought it was okay, but it  isn’t . I want to go back. I want to
be Tsubaki again. I don’t want to live like Karin. I’m broken and fucked up and
can’t keep him out of my head. Tsubaki gets to be happy, gets to have a life,
gets to be with you. I want  that . I can’t live like this.”
 
“Hey. You’re not thinking straight. Why’re you talking like you’re two
different people? Babe, you’re not a different person because you use another
name. You’re the same person who lived with me in the Land of Wind. I’m the
same guy. It doesn’t work like that. I know you know that. You’re so damned
determined to hate yourself that you’re taking all your good qualities and
pretending that it isn’t you. You need to stop.”
 
“But-”
 
“No buts. Now, tell me what’s going on.” He put his hands on her cheeks and
guided her face so that he could look at her.
 
“He’s in my head again,” she whispered, avoiding eye contact. “I dreamt about
him last night, and I… I don’t know what happened. He almost got me. I wasn’t
strong enough. All that from a damned picture. And then Orochimaru… He knew,
Suigetsu. He knew the whole time. It was all a lie. He made me think it had to
be a secret, but none of that mattered. I don’t know why he did it, but he did.
Orochimaru told me he doesn’t care what I do, but that I can’t show you
favoritism. He said that it is the same rule he had for Kabuto, when he was
above me. That’s all. That’s the only thing he said to him. But for years, I
was trying to be subtle, sneak around, doing whatever he said so I didn’t risk
us being found out.”
 
Finally, she looked him in the eye. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
 
Suigetsu had to hold himself back from punching the wall. He was livid, but he
couldn’t let it show. Not when she was suffering. He was convinced that showing
her how this affected him would only make things worse. “We’re gonna stick to
the plan. Get done here, then get the hell out. It’s gonna get better. I mean,
look at us. We pretty much live on rock bottom.” He paused, hoping to get a
laugh out of her. She wasn’t as amused as he’d hoped. “Look. I’m pretty sure
you didn’t take your sleeping medicine last night. Right?”
 
“No, I forgot.” She hadn’t even thought about it.
 
“So it makes sense that you’d have a nightmare. Don’t let that get to you. And
Orochimaru knew. Okay. He clearly didn’t do anything about it. Think about it;
would not hiding have made it any better?”
 
“I guess not…”
 
“Come on, let’s get out of here. I fucking hate this lab.” He stood and offered
her his hand, which she took. As she stood, he pulled her into a reassuring
embrace. She let herself fall into it, and it brought her more relief than she
could say.
 
Suigetsu took her by the hand to lead her out of the lab, but he hesitated.
“Babe? Did you go ape shit on the lab equipment or something?” He nudged a pile
of broken glass with the toe of his shoe.
 
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
 
Considering the luck that her anger was taken out on inanimate objects, he
didn’t push the issue. “Fair enough.”
***** Chapter 24 *****
Chapter Notes
     You suck so passionately
     You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature
     Finger-bangin' my heart
     You call me up drunk
     Does the fun ever start?
     You're hideous and sexy!
     She moves through moonbeams slowly
     She knows just how to hold me
     And when her edges soften
     Her body is my coffin
     I know she drains me slowly
     She wears me down to bones in bed
     Must be the sign on my head
     That says, oh
     Love me dead! Love me dead!
     - Ludo, "Love Me Dead"
     PWP. Rough sex. Can be skipped if this isn't your cup of tea,
     although I'd still read the end note.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Her mood had changed drastically by the time she’d stepped through the door
into her bedroom. The anger lingered, but the self-loathing had transformed
into determination, just short of wrath. She didn’t care that she startled
Suigetsu when she grabbed him by the shirt and forced him back against the
newly-closed door. From the way he smirked down at her, he didn’t mind, either.
Her lips crashed against his, hungry and impatient. He’d grown more bold after
their first few trysts, and he wasted no time in allowing his hands to roam her
body.
 
She pulled away from him, eyes flashing with something he couldn’t quite
identify. Her hips pressed against his as she growled, “I want you to throw me
down and fuck me ‘til I can’t remember my name.”
 
Well, this was an unusual development. With their dynamic, she naturally took
the lead, and he was more than willing to let her. Maybe that’s why he let her
beat and berate him back when they were with Taka. It wouldn’t surprise him if
he had a bit of a masochistic streak, all things considered. But this? This was
something entirely new. “If that’s what you want…”
 
“It is,” she snapped, annoyed with his hesitance. “Now grow a pair and get
rough or get the fuck out.”
 
Her breath fled her lungs when he took her by the hips and turned their
positions, slamming her against the stone wall hard enough that she saw stars
for a brief second. The side of her neck that was bare was the first thing he
went for, teasing the skin above the collar of her shirt. Just below the hinge
of her jaw, his kunai-sharp teeth broke skin, and his tongue drug languidly
over the superficial wound. The taste of iron clung to his lips, and he nearly
purred. His fingers made quick work of the buttons of her shirt, and she
cooperated when he tugged it off. It flew across the room. He had more
important things to worry about.
 
She’d always insisted that the scars on her body weren’t something he needed to
be cautious of, but he’d restrained himself all the same, worried that he might
bring back old memories. When he grazed his teeth over the top of her left
breast, sucking on the skin, he realized that she hadn’t been lying. Whatever
trauma lay in those marks wasn’t affected by the way he was currently maring
her body. He tried to keep his focus as he unwound the bandages she wore over
her breasts, resisting the urge to rip them off.
 
As though she could read his mind, she spat, “Just cut it off, already.”
 
She wasn’t kidding when she told him to get rough, then. With no tools within
reaching distance, he bent over and used his teeth to start a tear in the
fabric. His fingers pulled the seams apart as he lingered at her ribcage,
discoloring the pristine skin that remained beneath the article. Her hips
jerked, and he knew that she was getting impatient. Very well. He pulled back
from her long enough to rid himself of his own shirt, which joined hers in a
careless pile somewhere on the floor. She moved to close the gap, but he caught
her by the shoulders.
 
Red eyes were clouded with incomprehension until he pushed down, bringing her
to her knees in a way that was sure to bruise. The look on his face was smug
and lecherous, and she wanted nothing more than to smack it off of him. But he
was giving her what she asked for.
 
This was her way of reclaiming what was hers. This room, her body, every
sensation that she loved but strayed from because it reminded her of  him . She
was going to overwrite his presence if she died in the process. She forced
herself through the unpleasant recollection hanging in the back of her mind as
she tugged his pants down past his hips, not bothering to pull them any further
than the middle of his thighs.
 
Her mouth wrapped around him, and his fist clenched against the wall he leaned
forward against. His body trapped hers against the wall, and he was only
vaguely conscious that thrusting his hips could force her head back against the
stone. She asked for him to be rough, not to concuss her, after all. The
thought fled him when she began to move, her head bobbing enticingly as he
looked down at her. The groan that left his mouth was shameless. When he
knotted his fist in her hair, she moaned around him, sending vibrations through
him that made it difficult to keep control. He faltered, his hips thrusting
forward while his grip on her hair held her in place. She made a small choking
sound, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize.
 
She wrapped a hand around his base, stroking what she couldn’t take in the same
pace she moved her mouth. She made a point of slowing agonizingly to drag her
tongue across the vein on the underside of his cock, taking pleasure in the
shudder he released at the sensation. Her cheeks hollowed, and she sucked. As
she pulled back, fighting his hold on her hair, he left her with a lewd ‘pop.’
Several colorful words streamed from him at the loss of the sensation.
 
She cried out when he pulled on her hair, forcing her to look up at him. His
violet eyes swam with frustration, lust, and determination when he growled,
“Did I fucking say you could stop?”
 
A shiver ran down her spine, and she shook her head, never breaking eye
contact. She yelped when he pulled harder. Taking this as her clue, she quickly
resumed her previous movements, earning a looser grip. She didn’t know if he
was playing along because she asked him to or if he was acting of his own
volition, but she didn’t really care. If he was submissive to her enough to
play this game for her sake, did it matter if he could behave like this
naturally? He was clearly enjoying himself, so it was a moot point either way.
 
His other hand found its way into her hair, and she tried not to gag when he
thrust forward, doing her best to relax. She hadn’t done this in quite some
time, and Kabuto had never been quite so rough. He took what he wanted through
manipulation, convincing her that she wanted to do whatever it was that she
suggested. Suigetsu wasn’t skilled in eloquence; he was a fighter, and he took
what he wanted. Rather than a game of wits, with him, sex was a battle.
 
One she’d never been quite so eager to lose.
 
With his hold on her hair, he attempted to guide her off her knees. “Get back
up here,” he demanded, pulling himself back from her. She obliged, finding a
hold on his hips and using it to lift herself up off the floor. He kissed her
roughly, his tongue fighting hers for dominance as he made quick work of
discarding his pants entirely. His hands found her thighs, and he lifted her so
that she was wrapped around his waist. One hand held her as the other pulled
off her boots, letting them fall where they may. She held on as he carried her
across the room. He dropped her unceremoniously on top of the mattress, where
he stripped her of her shorts.
 
The last barrier between them gone, he climbed up between her legs and forced
her thighs open. Her back arched, and she gasped when he slipped his fingers
inside of her. She didn’t get more than a couple of seconds, and when he
removed his hand, the pad of his thumb swept over her clit in a way that made
her whimper. Her stomach knotted in anticipation; he was skilled with his
tongue, and he never seemed to mind that particular activity.
 
Her disappointment must have been clear when he positioned himself over her,
because he grinned like the devil and teased her breast, murmuring, “You didn’t
think you’d get that lucky, did you?” He chuckled. “I thought you wanted it
rough.”
 
Swallowing her pride, she breathlessly inquired, “What if I asked nicely?”
 
She didn’t expect the slap that struck her left cheek, and she looked up at
him, wide-eyed, as her skin stung. His lips crashed into hers, and his teeth
scraped her bottom lip. His fingers dug deeply into her hips as he ground
himself against her, muttering darkly, “You don’t get a say.”
 
It was a risk, but he wanted to try something that hadn’t gone well the last
time. Prepared for a negative reaction, he dared to grab her wrists and pin
them above her head. Rather than a headbut, when she moved, it was to shift in
his hold, rotating her arms to a more comfortable position. She looked up at
him with impatience, and her lips parted to say something, but he cut her off
with his own. Her back arched against his chest, and he used his free hand to
hold her down as he slid inside of her. A whimper caught in the back of her
throat, and he let out a shuddering breath as he fought against the
overwhelming sensation.
 
His weight, distributed between the hand at her wrists and the one on her hip,
left her little room to move her body to meet his. She resigned herself for the
moment, letting him decide the pace and force. Much to her relief, he was just
as impatient as she felt. Despite her best efforts not to be too loud, she
cried out when he pulled almost all the way out and snapped his hips forward.
The sound was irresistible, and he continued his assault for a few more
thrusts, satisfied that each movement garnered the same result.
 
She saw the glint in his eyes, but she didn’t know what it meant. He pulled out
of her and released her wrists. Before she could object, he’d flipped her onto
her stomach. His hands pulled her hips up, and she complied by settling on her
hands and knees. He wasted no time fitting back inside of her, his hands on her
hips as he arched over her. She tried to move, but his hands held her still
until several agonizing moments passed.
 
Waiting was the hardest part. Karin swallowed and began, “Suigetsu, I-”
 
He thrust against her with enough force to throw her off balance, if not for
his hold on her hips. She muffled her cry into the mattress, her body shaking
with a broken sob. He leaned forward, over her, to speak against her ear, as
deep as he could get. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to do this?” he purred,
shifting his hips by a fraction. Clearly, he was trying to drive her completely
insane when his fingers slid down over the plane of her stomach, diving between
her thighs to pinch and roll her clit. He could hear her moan even as she
pressed her face against the sheets.
 
“Even on Taka, every time you’d lose your shit on me, I just wanted to grab you
and fuck you like the bitch you are.”
 
Her head tilted enough that she could look back at him with one glaring eye. He
silenced her with a well-timed thrust, much to his ego’s appreciation.
Remembering the comment she’d made back in the Land of Iron, he grabbed her by
the hair and pulled her head up from the bed, reveling in the gasp she let
loose. “You love it, don’t you?”
 
She tried to swallow, but her neck was taut in a way that made it difficult.
Despite his hold, she managed to give a slight nod in lieu of a verbal
response. She let out a strangled cry when he increased his pace. Her fingers
curled into the sheets, hanging on as if her life depended on it. All of a
sudden, he let her go, and her head fell forward at the sudden, unexpected
release of tension. She moaned involuntarily at the release.
 
His thrusts became erratic, and he couldn’t hold on any longer. He grasped her
hips almost painfully as he came inside her, saved from panic by the single,
lucid thought that she used hormonal control. His forehead rested against her
spine as he caught his breath, and he panted a genuine “Sorry” against her
skin. After a few seconds, he was able to move again. “Don’t move,” he
instructed as he pulled out of her.
 
“What’re you-?” Karin’s question was answered when she realized he’d turned to
lie on his back, his head on the mattress between her raised thighs. She let
him guide her hips down, crying out when his tongue slipped between her lips.
“God  dammit ,” she swore, loud enough that she could certainly have been heard
in the hallway.
 
From the way her legs were shaking, it wouldn’t take long for him to give her
the release she was chasing. With a sly grin to himself, he grazed her clit
with his pointed teeth, sucking on it with a brief pressure. At that point, all
pretenses were off. Anyone in the hideout could have guessed what they were
doing; it was a good thing that they already knew. He allowed her reactions to
stroke his ego, as if each sound she made was a mark claiming her as his. She
was his, and his alone. He could get drunk on the thought.
 
Repeating the motions seemed to do the trick, and her legs gave out from
beneath her. Her weight settled on his face, and he fleetingly acknowledged
that there were far worse ways to die. Mercifully, she rolled onto her side,
freeing him to crawl up the bed to her side. He pulled her to his chest and
kissed the top of her head. “That what you were lookin’ for?” he inquired,
amused by it all.
 
Her breath warmed his chest as she sighed, “Hell yes.” She tilted her head back
to look up at him, warning, “Don’t get used to it. I don’t want this going
straight to your head.”
 
He laughed. “Way too late for that, babe. Way too damned late.”
 
“I’m not going to let you be in control all the time. You know that, right?”
 
“Yeah, yeah. I know. I’ll take what I can get.” He grinned to himself.
 
“What’s that for?”
 
“Nothin’. Just seems like I’ve got you wrapped around my finger whether you’re
on top or on bottom.”
 
Her open hand hit his pectoral. “Asshole.”
 
His lips met her forehead, and she could feel his smile. “I love you, you crazy
bitch.”
 
“I love you too, freak.”
Chapter End Notes
     I felt like they both deserved a good moment, and Karin was able to
     get past a few of her old triggers by re-associating the sensations
     with Suigetsu rather than Kabuto. I hope you enjoyed <3
***** Chapter 25 *****
Chapter Notes
     You hover like a hummingbird
     Haunt me in my sleep
     You're sailing from another world
     Sinking in my sea, oh
     You're feeding on my energy
     I'm letting go of it
     He wants it
     And I run from wolves
     Breathing heavily
     At my feet
     And I run from wolves
     Tearing into me
     Without teeth
     And you can follow
     You can follow me
     - Of Monsters and Men, "Wolves Without Teeth"
There was no change in Mitsuki's condition, and Orochimaru was beginning to
show signs of his stress. Dark circles appeared under his eyes, his hair wasn't
tied back, and he had a dour look on his face most of the day. Everyone knew to
give him a wide berth. Karin was too afraid to ask if he'd found someone to
help the child. With how he was acting, the answer was probably no. Out of
sympathy and a bit of concern, Karin took over Orochimaru’s tasks where the boy
was concerned. He seemed grateful for the gesture, but he was so lackluster
that she couldn't be sure. She'd never seen the scientist so feeble before; it
was enough to rattle them all.
 
Karin absentmindedly pushed her glasses further up her nose as she walked. Her
footsteps echoed down the corridor, and she was lost in thought. The last
several days, all of her energy had been directed to Mitsuki. Suigetsu was
feeling neglected, and he’d said as much, but she felt a sense of
responsibility about the matter. She'd make it up to him soon enough. For now,
all she could give him was her sleeping hours.
 
“There's no sign of any deficiency. Karin has been trying her best, but even
together, we can't solve it.”
 
Orochimaru was speaking to someone. Juugo probably inquired about his mental
state or the child; he'd been worried about them both. Juugo was interesting
that way. No one she knew had a bigger heart. Most would loathe Orochimaru for
being imprisoned the way he was, yet he remained ever loyal.
 
She rounded the corner of the hallway and kept walking, her eyes scanning her
notes as she walked.
 
“The answer won't be in notes or vital signs. It's not that superficial.”
 
Damn him. She was so sick of hearing him in her mind every time she puzzled
over Mitsuki. Her jaw clenched, biting back what she wanted to say in response
to Kabuto’s phantom voice. He was far from helpful, and she wished he'd just
shut up. She turned her page forcefully and kept reading, looking for any sort
of clue that might be hidden away. Why couldn't she help Mitsuki? The poor
child didn't deserve this.
 
“Karin,” Orochimaru called out to her, tearing her out of her thoughts. She
closed the notebook and stood still, turning in the direction of his voice.
“Don't you think you're being rather rude?”
 
By his side, a familiar figure was dressed in a traveling cloak, standard issue
from Konoha. The hood was down, allowing her to get a good look at his face.
She blinked, trying to dispel the illusion. The man was the spitting image of
Kabuto, at least when he was twenty. His skin was lightly tanned, and his hair
was drawn back at the base of his head. Beneath his glasses, his eyes smiled.
Unbidden, the thought that she wanted to stay in her head passed her lips: “The
hell?” Fleetingly, she wondered if she hadn't been spending a little too much
time with Suigetsu if she was picking up his speech patterns. This was just too
much. First her dreams, now this?
 
The illusion looked shocked, but then, it laughed. “I forgot,” it admitted, and
its hand formed a quick sign of release. In Kabuto’s place stood a pale man,
his skin fractured and rugged. His golden eyes were slitted and accented with
the same lilac as Orochimaru’s, and his long grey hair was gathered at the base
of his neck. “It's so much easier to travel when one doesn't stand out.”
 
“How useful,” Orochimaru commented.
 
“It's been how long, four years now? I like your new look.” Kabuto - because
there was no use denying that it was him - smiled at her. “The intensity suits
you, Karin.”
 
Needles stabbed her down the spine as she tried to find her voice. This was
truly the stuff of her nightmares. She kept her distance, at a loss for words
or actions. In her moment if truth, she'd frozen. She felt like she was
fourteen again, unable to do anything on behalf of herself. She was weak, and
she was agonizing over that fact. Everything she’d worked for seemed to
disappear.
 
Verbal insults were the sign of a desperate mind. “Yours doesn’t,” she spat,
catching both Kabuto and Orochimaru off guard.
 
It was credit to Kabuto’s composure when he chuckled and admitted, “You’re not
wrong.”
 
“I think I should be offended.” Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at his former
apprentice.
 
“Of course not, my lord.” Kabuto’s voice was saccharine in the way he knew
would placate the sannin. “You have your family’s bone structure and dark hair.
It’s clear that the way  I look now is an after-effect of less-than-fortunate
circumstances.”
 
Placated, Orochimaru looked to Karin. “Kabuto believes that he can perform the
procedure you spoke of the other day. I’d like for you to walk him through the
process, think this through as a team. I won’t have anything go wrong that
could injure the child. You were heading to see him just now, were you not?”
 
Karin gripped her notebook tightly. “I was.”
 
“Wonderful. Kabuto, if you’d accompany Karin.”
 
“What about you, my lord?” Kabuto asked, confused.
 
Orochimaru freely admitted, “Seeing the child in this state is difficult for
me, as his parent. Karin has kindly taken over for me in that regard. For the
time being, I’d prefer not to visit him.”
 
Kabuto placed a kind hand on his master’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring
look. “I understand. If you’d like, I can look over you later on this evening.”
 
“It would be appreciated.” He was loathe to admit it, but he was getting older,
and Kabuto was the best doctor he could have asked for during their prior
engagement. He was a loyal servant, even still, and one that could be trusted.
 
“Very well, then. After dinner.” Kabuto stepped back from Orochimaru and turned
to Karin, who watched the scene unfold with barely disguised disdain. “Lead the
way, my dear.”
 
The last thing she wanted to do was turn her back on him. She wanted to scream
and hit and cry, to cause a scene. But, after all this time, his voice was
still hypnotic. She found herself doing as she asked, and loathing began to
boil in the pit of her stomach. Why was she doing this?! Why was she being so
passive?! She was weak! Falling back into her old patterns, she should be
ashamed of herself!
 
Amusement lilted his voice when he spoke. “It seems you’ve come quite a ways,
my little flame. You should be proud of yourself. Earning Lord Orochimaru’s
respect and trust is no easy task. I’m impressed that he’s left you in charge
of the care of his precious child.”
 
“Hm.” She rolled her left shoulder, trying to release some of the tension that
remained.
 
He stared at her back, confused by her sudden change in demeanor towards him.
Yes, it had been a few years, but that wasn’t enough of a reason for her to be
quite so cold. He frowned to himself, his brow furrowing. Something wasn’t
right. Before he could ask, she’d opened a door at the end of the hall, leading
him inside.
 
Misuki’s motionless body lay on the examination table in the center of the
room. Kabuto shrugged off his traveling cloak and approached the boy. He took
several seconds to scan his body with chakra from his palms, looking down at
him with quiet intensity. Finally, he withdrew his hands and crossed his arms,
pushing his glasses up with his index finger. “Interesting.” He drummed his
fingers against his bicep before turning back to Karin, who stood on the
opposite side of the table. “And what is it you had in mind?”
 
Professionalism stayed its course when Karin opened her notebook, addressing
the situation with clinical precision. “I have a theory that injecting chakra
into the blockages will force them open, but it needs to be done with
excessively fine control. I recommended Sakura for the procedure, but she’s
still outside the nation. It’s nothing more than a theory; it might not work at
all, and I’m not familiar enough with that level of chakra control to proceed
much further without assistance.”
 
Kabuto hummed to himself. “I can see the merit in that.” He extended his hand,
and she instinctively handed him her notebook. When she caught herself in the
act, it was too late. He leafed through the pages, carefully considering what
she had written. “It’s certainly worth a shot. It sounds like a relatively low-
risk option. The procedure shouldn’t take more than a few hours. Could you have
him ready tomorrow?”
 
“I can.”
 
“Excellent.” Kabuto grinned as he handed her back her notebook. “I’ll need your
assistance, of course. Nothing out of the ordinary. You’ve done it all a
thousand times by now, after all.”
 
Karin chose not to respond. Instead, she walked over to Orochimaru’s desk and
placed her notebook in the top drawer, where it had been kept so that he could
access it if he wished. She could feel him approaching her, and her body tensed
to fight. Her skin burned when he slid a hand to her shoulder in what he
thought was a gesture of comfort.
 
“What’s wrong, my dear?” he inquired, brushing the pad of his thumb over the
back of her neck, just below her hairline. “You seem upset.”
 
“Do I?!” she hissed. She tried to spin around, but he was far too close for her
to do so. He’d left her no room between hi body and the desk. She swallowed her
panic and demanded, “Back off.”
 
“What are you talking about?” He withdrew his hand and took a step back, giving
her just enough room to turn and face him. Backpedaling, he began, “I’m sorry
that I vanished after the war. I had to keep a low profile, and the Hokage
placed me-”
 
“Shove it up your ass!”
 
His jaw dropped at the obscenity. “Karin!”
 
“What?  What?!  Are you going to tell me I can’t swear, now? Did I make you
mad?” She was fuming, all her rage pouring out as she stared him down. “Tough
shit.”
 
“I think you need to sit down.” He reached out and wrapped a hand around her
bicep, trying to guide her to a nearby chair. She tried to shake him off, but
he was physically stronger than she was, even now. She didn’t have a choice but
to sit down when he pressed on her shoulders to guide her. He kept his hold and
leaned forward, studying her face as he bent to her level. “You need a
sedative.”
 
“I don’t need a  goddamned sedative !” She thrashed from side to side, trying
to free herself.
 
Kabuto’s genuine concern transformed into panic. He’d never seen her act this
way. She was clearly having an episode of some sort. “It’s okay. You’re going
to be alright. I’m here. Just listen to my voice. Take a deep breath in, hold
for four, then exhale.”
 
“Fuck you! Let me go!”
 
“You’re a danger to yourself and others. I can’t do that right now. My dear,
I’m telling you, just breathe and listen to what I’m saying. It’ll pass, but
you have to calm yourself down.”
 
This all had to be some sort of horrible, twisted dream. She lifted her legs
and kicked out, forcing him back and onto the floor. Unfortunately, his grip on
her shoulders took her with him. In the chaos, she scrambled to her feet and
took off running. She blindly fled down the hall, looking for any sort of
sanctuary. She had to get away, she had to wake up. If she could just wake up,
it would be over.
 
She grappled with the doorknob to her bedroom, throwing it open and slamming it
shut behind her. She secured the locks and sank down to the floor, her back
against the wood. Her knees drew up to her chest, and she choked back a sob.
She wouldn’t let him get to her this way. She couldn’t. All she could do was
pray that she’d wake up before her nightmare became much worse.
 
===============================================================================
 
“Dammit.” Kabuto sat up, rubbing the back of his head where it had collided
with one of the metal legs of the table. It didn’t feel like he was bleeding,
at least. Karin had disappeared, and he had a strong sense of dread at the
realization. She could hurt herself, or worse, in this state. She didn’t want
the sedative, but it was the only thing he could think of that would calm her
down and end her episode.
 
Just as he remembered, he found pre-measured syringes in a nearby container,
prepped and ready in case Juugo activated his curse mark. It was good that some
things hadn’t changed. He pocketed it and ran out of the lab, not bothering to
close the door or turn off the light. There were more pressing matters to
attend to.
 
Unfortunately, he’d lost her trail almost as soon as he stepped in the hallway.
“Karin?” he called out cautiously. “I just want to help. I’m not going to hurt
you. I just want to make sure that you’re okay.” Slowly, he made his way down
the hall, senses on high alert. “You can come out now, my dear. I promise that
it’s safe.”
 
No luck so far. He swore under his breath. Where would she run to? Out of a
faint suspicion, he opened the door to his right. His old bedroom was bare and
unused, most likely since his departure. It was undisturbed, and she clearly
hadn’t taken refuge there. It was worth looking all the same.
 
“Can you tell me where you are?” he asked, doing his best to keep his voice
soft and reassuring. “Let me help you, Karin. It’ll all be okay. I just need
you to come out, now.”
 
The next room he checked was their old, shared lab, which was in a surprising
state of disarray. “Karin?” he called, but only silence answered him. Mentally,
he went through a list of places she’d consider refuge, ticking off each one as
the possibility was eliminated.
 
When he tried the door to her bedroom, the locking mechanism caught, keeping
him from entering. He raised his hand and rapped his knuckles against the wood.
“Karin? Are you in there? You need to come out, my dear. I can’t help you if
you don’t.”
 
On the other side of the door, Karin was fumbling backwards, trying to put
distance between herself and his voice. In an act of desperation, she pinched
the exposed skin of her thigh between her index finger and thumb, trying to
jarr herself into the waking world.
 
Kabuto sighed, resting his open palm against the door. “Talk to me, love. It’ll
be alright, I promise. But you can’t hide in there. I can help you. I just need
you to come out.” Distracted, he didn't notice the rapid footfalls approaching
him until it was too late.
 
“Bastard!” Suigetsu’s hands wrapped around Kabuto’s throat as he tackled him to
the ground. His thumbs dug into his windpipe, and the scientist struggled for
breath. A quick hand sign, and he was gone, using a substitution just to escape
Suigetsu’s grasp.
 
Kabuto extended his arm, sending white snakes flying at Suigetsu. The Kiri nin
exploded into water, avoiding the jutsu all too narrowly. He resolidified and
spun to face Kabuto, shouting “I'll fucking kill you!”
 
“Stand down!” Kabuto ordered.
 
“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” Suigetsu came at him with a storm of
taijutsu, forcing Kabuto into a defensive stance. The older man had no qualms
about beating him into submission, should it be necessary. He'd spent years
studying Suigetsu, and he was intimately aware of his strengths and weaknesses.
Kabuto managed to grab him and use his momentum to his advantage, throwing him
down the hall.
 
Back on his feet, Suigetsu raised his right arm, thumb and index finger
extended. From this range, the blow could maim, but it wouldn't kill. No, he
planned on taking his time with that. It had been too long since he’d had
someone beneath his sword. Kabuto would die in agony, cut into ribbons. He
would make sure of it. Suigetsu flicked his wrist, sending a powerful bullet of
water flying at Kabuto, using his water release technique. The scientist was
lucky enough to dodge; when the blow landed on the wall behind him, it chipped
the stone it hit into several shards. Suigetsu swore at his aim and raised his
other hand for a second attempt.
 
Kabuto rushed him, grabbing Suigetsu’s head with one hand and wrenching it to
the side. He didn't feel the needle puncture his neck until it was withdrawn,
and he collapsed to the floor. Kabuto was above him, panting and holding a
scalpel against his jugular. If Suigetsu moved, he would cut his own throat on
the blade. The sedative meant for Karin acted quickly, draining the life from
Suigetsu until his body had gone limp. Kabuto pocketed the scalpel and sighed,
standing up. He nudged Suigetsu’s leg with his foot, just to be sure.
 
He would be asleep for the next few hours. Kabuto left him where he lay,
stepping over his body as he began his search for Orochimaru. This was
completely unacceptable. Had the man gone senile to let his subordinates wreak
such havoc? Why Suigetsu was allowed to roam free was beyond his understanding.
The murderous maniac should have been secured. This was far from the first time
he'd come at Kabuto with the intent to kill; he took perverse pleasure in it,
that much Kabuto knew without a doubt. Yes, he had words to exchange with
Orochimaru about his leniency and lack of control.
***** Chapter 26 *****
Chapter Notes
     And if you don't love me now
     You will never love me again
     I can still hear you saying
     You would never break the chain.
     Listen to the wind blow
     Down comes the night
     Run in the shadows
     Damn your love
     Damn your lies
     Break the silence
     Damn the dark
     Damn the light
     - Fleetwood Mac, "The Chain"
“My lord, forgive me, but I cannot  believe  you’ve let those heathens have run
of the hideout. There is no reason I should be afraid for my own life here! I’m
deeply insulted.” Kabuto placed his hands on the table that sat between him and
Orochimaru, who was sitting on the other side, writing as he listened to the
complaint. “What is he even doing outside of containment?”
 
“He proved himself useful during the war, and he’s an adequate lab assistant
when he puts his mind to it,” Orochimaru mused. “Although, his bloodlust has
been relatively controlled up until this point. He’s been trapped inside too
long, surely. He can have a little outing with Juugo to satisfy the craving,
and he should be back to normal soon enough. I’m sure that’s all it was.”
 
“You talk about it like it’s normal! My lord, I insist that you handle the
situation personally. It’s highly concerning.” Kabuto hesitated before pulling
out a chair, sitting down and lacing his fingers together, his elbows on the
table. “Karin had a psychotic breakdown this afternoon. I’ve never seen her so
distressed, and all because I put my hand on her shoulder. I’m worried that it
might have something to do with Suigetsu’s behavior.”
 
“Hmm, I doubt it,” Orochimaru hummed, setting his brush across the tray of ink
he’d been using to write. “Although this all may have been driven by pure
jealousy. I did forget to announce that you would be coming. If I had to guess,
I’d suppose that Suigetsu is feeling territorial. Perhaps Karin is afraid of
his temper; she can hold her own against him, of course, but jealousy does
strange things. Maybe the physical contact unleashed a sense of fear for her
safety.”
 
“My lord, what are you talking about?”
 
“I thought you’d know by now.” He didn’t bother hiding his genuine surprise.
“It seems that Karin has taken Suigetsu as a plaything. It’s nothing serious,
I’m sure, but our Kiri friend can be highly territorial. You’ve surely seen him
with that sword of his.”
 
Kabuto grimaced, just as Orochimaru had expected. “What is  going on  with her?
That she'd stoop that low… it's disgusting.”
 
Orochimaru shrugged with nonchalance. “You've been gone for quite a while now.
Busy as you are with the orphanage, it's not surprising. But you didn't exactly
reach out to her. After the war, you're both very different people. It's to be
expected. I've lived through my third, and only now do I want to have Mitsuki.”
 
“My lord, I appreciate the thought, but I'm not sure that you're the best
source for relationship advice.” Kabuto’s eyes glinted in amusement at
Orochimaru’s mock offense. If he was honest, he had missed the rapport between
him and his mentor after they parted ways. It was almost like old times again.
 
“I raised you, and I'm well aware of your limited experience. Don't think that
because I don't label myself that I don't know what I'm talking about.”
 
Kabuto opened his mouth to ask for clarification, but he quickly closed it.
Some things were best left unknown. Getting back to the topic at hand, he
frowned. “I hope she comes to her senses. She'll be miserable if she isn't
challenged, and we both know that his strengths are far outside the mental
realm.” His fingers drummed against the wooden table. “What is she thinking?”
 
“We all make poor choices every now and again. I don't need to remind you of
your indiscretions when you were twenty.” A dark eyebrow raised to punctuate
the point.
 
“Just because I became involved with Karin at the same age she's become
involved with that failed experiment doesn't create a parallel in our
judgement. I would hardly call mine an indiscretion.”
 
“The point being,” Orochimaru interrupted, “that she is an individual capable
of making her own decisions. You can change her mind, but you can't force her
to do anything. She's a lot like you were at her age. Give her some time to
figure things out. She's taken over your old position, you know. She wants to
operate independently like you used to. I think it will be good for her.”
 
“It's a shame that I'm tied up with the orphanage. I would have liked to
accompany her. It's not very stimulating, being around children and ANBU.
Before you contacted me, I had begun to wonder if I'd ever have another
intellectual conversation.”
 
Orochimaru chuckled. He knew that feeling too well. He glanced at the clock and
mused, “Best get on with it, then. Do whatever poking and prodding you need to
do.”
 
“Yes, my lord.” Kabuto stood up and rounded the table, bringing his medical kit
with him. The first thing he did was check Orochimaru’s vitals, hoping to
ensure that he was in good health.
 
After a moment of silence, the sannin asked, “Tomorrow, then?”
 
“As far as I know.” Kabuto watched the clock as he held his fingers against
Orochimaru’s pulse. “After Karin’s episode, I can't be sure that she'll have
done the necessary prep work. I had planned to check in on her when we were
done.”
 
“See that you do.”
 
“Of course, my lord. Now, breathe in…”
 
===============================================================================
 
Warm water ran down Karin’s body in rivulets as she sat on the floor of her
shower, staring blankly at the tiles on the wall. She felt numb. The skin she’d
pinched had already turned a hideous shade of purple, an unpleasant addition to
the myriad of ‘love bites’ that Suigetsu had left her with. She sighed and
leaned her head back, closing her eyes as the spray rained over her. It wasn’t
clear how long she’d been like this, but her fingers and toes were wrinkled, a
sign that it had been too long. Her hands lifted to her face and brushed her
damp hair back, moving it out of her eyes.
 
The door to her bathroom was open to her bedroom, where Suigetsu lay
unconscious on the bed. Karin was able to recognize the sedative he’d been
given and knew that he would metabolize the last of it within the hour. All the
same, waiting was agony. From the moment she’d first left her room that
morning, everything had gone straight to hell. Despite her best efforts to wake
up, it was, unfortunately, not one of her vivid nightmares.
 
She kept a tight rein on her sensory abilities, limiting the range of her focus
as much as possible. Feeling him so close, meters away, had resulted in a bout
of nausea that had her on her knees in front of the toilet just a few hours
ago. It was difficult to remain focused, not to let her control slip, but it
was necessary. All the progress she’d thought she’d made… it was gone. His
presence, his touch, was enough to send her into a panic, to have her hugging
her knees as she sat on the shower floor. It was humiliating.
 
In only a few hours, he’d pulled her back. She felt like the teenager she used
to be, eager to please and jumping at his every word. She was disgusted with
herself. Some sick, perverse part of her psyche was overjoyed at his praise.
She couldn’t still have feelings for him. She  couldn’t . It wasn’t possible.
After all of this, she couldn’t live with herself if that was the case. But,
then, why had his words affected her? Why did his concern pull at her
heartstrings? Why did she have to fight herself to keep from opening the door?
 
“Fucking idiot,” she swore, gripping her scalp with her fingers as she curled
in on herself. Who was she kidding? What was the point in pretending to be
strong when she couldn’t even fool herself?
 
She jumped when the water ran cold, and she scrambled to her knees, jerking the
knob to close the pipe. So much for that. Hopefully no one else planned on
showering that night. She peeled herself off of the floor and stood up, her
legs a bit shaky as feeling came back to them, pricking her like thousands of
senbon. Her towel was wrapped around her waist, covering the lower half of her
body. She draped another over her shoulders to absorb the water from her hair.
A few blind grabs, and she found her glasses, which were fogged over from the
steam. She used the edge of her towel to clean them before putting them on, the
world coming back into focus.
 
The first thing she did was check on Suigetsu. He was still asleep, but nothing
seemed out of the ordinary, much to her relief. Kabuto could have easily killed
him; the idiot had rushed into the fight unarmed. Karin didn't know why Kabuto
hadn't done just that. Her best guess was that he was surprised. If that was
the case, Suigetsu wouldn’t be so lucky next time. She sighed to herself and
brushed a hand through his hair. “Dumbass.”
 
Her body froze when she heard a knock on her door in a familiar pattern.
 
“Karin?”
 
Her first instinct was to stay still and silent in the hope that Kabuto would
leave. The doorknob rattled, betraying that it was locked, and, by extension,
that she was inside.
 
“Karin? I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”
 
Finding her voice was nothing short of a miracle. “Not right now,” she informed
him, impressed with how strong she was capable of sounding when she was rattled
to her core.
 
A brief hesitation, and then, “Lord Orochimaru wants to be sure that you’ve
done everything to prep Mitsuki for tomorrow morning.”
 
Karin blinked. “Right. I’ll get right on that.”
 
“And the procedure? At the usual hour?”
 
“Seven,” she recalled. “Yes.”
 
A cough sounded from the other side of the door. “I’m… concerned. I just want
you to know that you can talk to me, and my door’s always open. I’m staying in
my old bedroom for now… Come by later, if you want to talk.”
 
Karin clenched her jaw.
 
“Karin?”
 
“Right.” She listened intently as she heard his footsteps recede down the hall,
and she expanded her sensory range just to be sure that he’d actually left. She
sat down on the bed, bouncing the mattress from the force. She leaned over and
put her elbows on her knees, resting her head in her hands.
 
He was torturing her. It had to be intentional. There was no way around it. She
was constantly on the verge of a panic attack every time he came near her, and
it was wearing her down. She didn’t feel strong enough to confront him, but she
couldn’t keep letting him jerk her around the way he was. It was closer to hell
than purgatory.
 
===============================================================================
 
Suigetsu crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, watching Karin as she
bustled around the lab, setting out everything that could be needed in the
morning. She’d filled him in on what happened during his unconsciousness, and
he was loathe to let her do this on her own. He hadn’t asked if she’d wanted
his company, but she hadn’t objected when he’d come along. Her body language
was tense as she worked in silence.
 
Karin pulled an instrument tray next to the examination table. She wasn’t sure
what they would need; it was her hope that Kabuto could perform the procedure
with chakra alone, but she knew to be prepared. Orochimaru cared deeply for the
child, and losing him due to a clinical error simply wasn’t an option.
 
“Hand me that package?” she asked, gesturing to the sealed pack on the desk,
just within Suigetsu’s reach. He stood up and passed it to her. It was then
arranged on the tray in a way that seemed like second nature to her. She
reached up and adjusted the drip on the IV, flicking the tubing with her finger
twice.
 
“You think this is gonna work?” Suigetsu looked down at Mitsuki’s sleeping
form, arms crossed over his borrowed white coat.
 
“I hope so. I can’t think of any other options.” The cap of her pen found its
way between her lips, where she worried it with her teeth. “I don’t want to be
the one to tell Lord Orochimaru that this is a lost cause…”
 
“Don’t think like that. Everything could go well.”
 
Karin eyed him with a frown. “You can’t even say that like you believe it.”
 
“I’m trying to be positive, here. I’m working with what I got.”
 
“Do me a favor: get the list off of the desk and get those items from the
locked cabinet.” She tossed him her key, which he caught with ease.
 
“So you trust me around dangerous chemicals, now?” He grinned playfully.
 
“If you’re stupid enough to ingest them, that’s natural selection running its
course. One woman can’t stand in the path of evolution.”
 
“Damn. Harsh.” He inserted the key into the lock and removed the padlock from
the cabinet doors.
 
A knock against the doorframe drew their attention as Kabuto stepped into the
lab. “All’s well, I presume?”
 
Karin looked back to Mitsuki as she answered, “Nearly.”
 
“Excellent.” He strode across the room to one of the wooden cabinets hanging
from the wall. He rummaged through the shelves until he found the box he was
looking for. “I’d like these out, just in case.” He extended it to Karin, who
turned to him just long enough to take it. The kanji on the front of the box
read ‘emergency use only.’
 
“Adrenaline?” She looked at him over her shoulder, looking for an explanation.
 
“Rule one, remember? Be prepared for anything. Lord Orochimaru would be
devastated if anything goes wrong, and this isn’t exactly a common procedure.”
 
“Think you can’t do it?” Suigetsu griped from the far wall, his face turned to
the metal cabinet.
 
Kabuto scowled. Insolent little shit. He chose to ignore the comment
completely, deeming Suigetsu unworthy of a reply. He glanced at Karin, who was
avoiding looking at either of them, her gaze steadfastly fixed on Mitsuki. It
seemed that Lord Orochimaru was right. She seemed afraid. In an attempt at
reassurance, he placed a hand on her shoulder, and she stiffened at his touch.
Suigetsu must be insane for her to be so afraid of his jealousy; something
would have to be done about him. “Do you need anything?” His question was meant
to be layered, superficially with Mitsuki, and deeper concerning Suigetsu.
 
Her words seemed forced when she replied, “No, everything’s under control
here.”
 
“Are you sure?”
 
“She said to get lost, asshole,” Suigetsu growled as he approached the
examination table with the chemicals he’d been sent to find. His brashness came
close to surprising Kabuto, but he’d seen much worse behavior from this
particular specimen.
 
With a smirk, Kabuto looked away from him and pushed his glasses up his nose.
“Your time with Sasuke seems to have stripped you of your manners. Need I
remind you, you have no authority here. If I have to sedate you again, you’ll
be lucky not to find yourself back in your old container. Do we understand one
another?”
 
Suigetsu scowled and pulled his arms to his chest, prepared to form a series of
hand signs for his ninjutsu. He stopped only when Karin held a hand up to him.
He looked at her in shock, unable to understand what she was doing. Her fist
clenched the edge of the table when she spoke.
 
“Kabuto, please leave.”
 
“If you think I’m going to leave you with this murderous psychotic-”
 
“ Go .”
 
Kabuto hesitated, narrowing his eyes at Suigetsu. In a matter of seconds, he
decided that Karin could most likely handle herself, and he was just down the
hall should things go awry. He let his fingers brush her wrist as he walked
past her, what he intended to be a silent gesture of solidarity. Without
another word, he exited the lab and proceeded down the hallway, leaving them
behind.
 
Karin let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, and it came out
in a shudder. Suigetsu rushed to her side and pulled her into an embrace,
crushing her body against his. Her fingers clawed into the back of his shirt,
and she tried to match the pace of her breathing to his. Suigetsu began to rock
her from side to side. “Just a few more days. Once we’re done here, that’s it.
We don’t have to come back. We’ll be home in no time. Just think about it. A
few more pay days, and we’ll be able to take that trip to the onsen you
wanted.”
 
Muffled against his shoulder, she admitted, “I hate him.”
 
“I know, babe.” She’d expressly forbidden him from killing Kabuto, no matter
how much he wanted to. She reasoned that it would only cause more trouble for
them. In just a few days, she’d never have to see him again; it was what she
was holding on to. “Just a couple more days.”
***** Chapter 27 *****
Chapter Notes
     But still you stumble, feet give way
     Outside the world seems a violent place
     But you had to have him, and so you did
     Some things you let go in order to live
     While all around you, the buildings sway
     You sing it out loud, "who made us this way?"
     I know you're bleeding, but you'll be okay
     Hold on to your heart, you'll keep it safe
     Hold on to your heart, don't give it away
     You'll find a rooftop to sing from
     Or find a hallway to dance
     You don't need no edge to cling from
     Your heart is there, it's in your hands
     I know it seems like forever
     I know it seems like an age
     But one day this will be over
     I swear it's not so far away
     - Florence and the Machine, "Various Storms and Saints"
     This one's a little shorter than usual, but it really needed to be
     separate from the next chapter.
Not knowing if her theory would work was nerve wracking for Karin. The last
thing she wanted was for Mitsuki to be injured in any way, but she didn’t have
any other theories. It would break Orochimaru’s heart to have to start over,
once again, where he was concerned. Mitsuki was the product of years of
research, testing, and no small amount of passion on the part of the sannin. If
she thought about it, Karin would easily conclude that what the child was put
through was far from fair; doing so, however, would call attention to the
injustices each of them suffered during their childhoods underneath Orochimaru.
 
Suigetsu, the least privileged of them all, was treated like a lab rat because
of his bloodline and jutsu. Mangetsu had been a force to reckon with when he
was alive, and Suigetsu could have followed in his older brother’s footsteps
with ease; even Kisame Hoshigaki acknowledged his skill, and that was after
being locked away for so many years. He could have been so much more, had
Orochimaru never gotten his hands on him.
 
He, at least, had a future. Karin had been an orphan, valued for her body and
the aid it could provide alone. If it weren’t for Orochimaru, it was very
likely that she would have ended up like her mother: drained of all her chakra
and disposed of as some sort of biomedical waste. He saved her from that life,
but the one he brought her into was scarcely better. Her longing for affection
and gentle treatment led her right into Kabuto’s grasp, rendering her easily
manipulated by one of the first people to ever smile at her.
 
Even Kabuto suffered in his own way. It had been a rainy evening when he
confessed how he came to be with Orochimaru. There was pain in his voice as he
recounted his amnesia, his time at the orphanage, and Danzo’s threat that
brought him into the Foundation. When he spoke of his final encounter with
Nono, it was one of the few times she’d ever seen him cry. Orochimaru had told
him the truth about Danzo’s scheme and took him in, giving him a new,
fabricated past that allowed him to circumvent the roadblocks he would
encounter as ex-ANBU. The story mattered little to him, he had confessed;
having no idea who he truly was, it was just another tool. He’d never recovered
his memory before being found by Nono.
 
All that pain and suffering should have brought them into solidarity, but the
distrust fostered among them kept them apart. It wasn’t hard to wonder if
things would have been different without Sasuke. He had, after all, been the
one to kill Orochimaru and form Taka, setting them all into motion.
 
But, no. She wouldn’t think about that, now. Had Sasuke not interfered, she’d
probably still be working in that isolated prison, blissfully unaware of her
own suppression. She might never have escaped Orochimaru or Kabuto. Even as the
two of them held power over her in this moment, they wouldn’t for much longer.
When she was finished with Mitsuki, she could finally leave all of this behind.
She’d tasted freedom, companionship, and healing. It wasn’t something that she
was going to let slip through her fingers quite so easily.
 
She felt Kabuto’s chakra pulse downward into Mitsuki’s unconscious form, and
she collected herself. Thoughts like these could wait until later. For now, she
needed to focus on the child and the procedure.
 
Karin’s hands hovered over Mitsuki’s chest, glowing a faint green as she kept a
close eye on the child’s chakra. She could feel Kabuto’s intermixing with
Mitsuki’s as he drove his own into various points like a needle. It was a slow,
arduous process, but, one by one, Mitsuki’s pathways began to open, bursting to
make room for the foreign chakra flow. His body was responding well, regaining
a steady flow after the initial input.
 
“Suigetsu,” she spoke, and he approached the table at the sound of his name.
“My hair.”
 
“On it.” He wrapped his hand around the hair gathered at the base of her neck,
pulling it free from the tie. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to help her in
such a way during a procedure. Moving one hand after the other, he pulled her
hair back more tightly before tying it off again for her.
 
“Thanks.” Her gaze never left the child. She used her shoulder to push her
glasses further up the bridge of her nose.
 
Kabuto frowned in concentration as his hand moved above Mitsuki’s body,
scanning for the next blockage. Two hours in, and he’d only just unblocked the
major sacral pathway, working his way up to the crown. He bit back a sigh of
exhaustion as he continued to work. “Moving on,” he informed Karin, almost
arbitrarily.
 
“He’s doing well,” Karin responded, performing her part of the verbal volley
that they’d maintained since the procedure began. She closed her eyes for
better focus when Kabuto proceeded to the next blockage he found. She felt his
chakra pierce the point. Deep breath in, deep breath out. There was no change
in Mitsuki.
 
“Dammit,” Kabuto swore under his breath, steadily increasing the flow. The
blockage began to strain. Just a bit more… “Done.”
 
“No substantial change.” Karin looked at the boy’s face, relaxed in his
unconscious state. This child was the fruit of years of research, both hers and
Orochimaru’s. He was the sixth, and she didn’t particularly want to endure a
seventh. Orochimaru would keep trying as long as it took, this she knew, but it
had become a painful endeavor all around. It was easier to think of him as an
experiment, a collection and manifestation of carefully researched data. Each
one was genetically identical. It shouldn’t matter that the first five had
failed. She didn’t put much thought into the concept of the soul, so there
wasn’t an ethics-backed reason why she should feel the way she did. Simply put,
she’d become attached.
 
“Wait,” Karin snapped. Kabuto froze in place, his eyes studying her expression.
She let out a breathy laugh, a smile crossing her lips. “It’s working,” she
announced. “His chakra is flowing freely on its own.” She hadn’t been sure that
her theory would hold water, but there they were.
 
“Yes!” Suigetsu exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air.
 
Even Kabuto grinned. “Let’s continue, then, shall we?”
 
===============================================================================
 
Another two hours gone, and Karin stood in front of Orochimaru in his quarters.
Karin would never broach the subject, but in that moment, he appeared to wear
every single year of his true age. He seemed fatigued, worried. Of course he
was, she thought; he’d been worried sick about Mitsuki for months, if not
longer. His hair was unkempt, and his clothing made her wonder if he’d left his
quarters at all that morning. The odds were good that he hadn’t. He would need
to eat, but Kabuto was his personal physician, not her. Let him handle such
petty arguments and scolding.
 
Golden eyes fixed on her, Orochimaru almost didn't seem to be breathing,
waiting for her to speak. The man gestured with his hand and leaned back in his
chair on the far side of the wooden table. She knew him well enough to
recognize the signs of tension in his body. Although she wasn't particularly
fond of the sannin, Kabuto had all but insisted that she be the one to bring
him the good news. It had been her idea, after all, and she deserved the
credit, as he said; Karin still wasn't sure what his ulterior motive was on
that front, but there was sure to be one.
 
“My lord, everything went as planned. Mitsuki is stable, and his condition is
rapidly improving. Medically, we are keeping him asleep until his body can
catch up and fully self-regulate. There doesn't seem to be any side effects or
negative trauma. For now, he appears to be in the clear,” Karin reported,
reading from the notebook in her hands.
 
Orochimaru let out a sigh of relief, a sound she'd never heard from him. “Thank
you.” Whether he was thanking her or a higher power, she didn't know. He let
his hands drop down to the armrests, and his shoulders visibly relaxed.
 
“My lord,” Karin cautioned, “do remember that Mitsuki isn't out of the woods
just yet…”
 
“My precious child will be just fine.” His voice held no doubt. “Aside from
myself, you and Kabuto are the brightest minds I could have consulted on the
matter. I trust you both implicitly.”
 
“I'm honored, my lord.” She gave a slight, customary bow.
 
“You shouldn’t be. You’ve worked hard for everything you’ve achieved. Neither
of you have received special treatment from me; I respect you as intellectuals
because that’s what you are. I don’t play favorites.”
 
She begged to differ, but she wasn’t about to contradict him at the moment. “My
lord, if I may, I would like to request my leave as soon as possible. Would
tomorrow be too soon?”
 
Orochimaru appeared startled at the sudden request. “I realize that you’re
eager to get back to that little village, and I dare say that I understand. It
would be beneficial if you’d consent to stay a few more days, just to make sure
that Mitsuki continues to be stable. I hope that it isn’t too much to ask. I
would be willing to increase your compensation, of course.”
 
While it was worded as a request, she knew she didn’t have a choice in the
matter. “Very well.” She turned to leave, but she was stopped when Orochimaru
spoke her name.
 
“Karin, sit down for a moment, would you?”
 
She turned back to him and looked for any sign of what was going on. He was
unreadable. More out of habit than out of respect, she walked back to the table
and took the seat opposite his. “Am I in trouble?” she asked, almost snarkily.
She received the faintest hint of an amused grin in return. In brief moments
like these, she knew that the sannin was fond of her. She could never guess
why; she had, by most standards, an unbearable personality. Then again, it was
likely that his would be gauged the same way along that metric.
 
The smile faded when he began to speak, taking on a much more serious tone.
Karin crossed her legs at the knees in a subconsciously defensive posture. “You
know I don’t normally pry into the business of others, but Kabuto came to me
with some… concerns regarding your liaison with our friend Suigetsu.” Karin was
visibly taken aback, but Orochimaru held one hand in the air, silently asking
that she let him continue with what he was saying. “I know that you’re more
than capable of taking care of yourself, my dear, but please, don’t hesitate to
come to one of us should he threaten or attack you.”
 
Karin fought to keep her jaw from dropping. “Excuse me?”
 
“Kabuto became concerned when Suigetsu attacked-”
 
“No, not that,” she snapped, trying to get some silence so that she could think
straight. She recovered quickly. “My apologies, my lord. I didn’t mean to be
rude. But… may I be frank?”
 
“Of course.”
 
“What the  fuck?! ” She didn’t shout at anyone in particular, apparently
beseeching the cosmos at large for an answer to her question. “That
narcissistic, self-serving, domineering  prick! ”
 
Orochimaru looked at her with wide eyes, leaning back ever so slightly in his
chair. He had intended to ask for clarification, but Karin wasn’t ready to let
him speak just yet. In fact, it seemed as though she’d forgotten that he was in
the room altogether. He’d seen her like this only a handful of times before.
She’d run herself out in a few moments, when she didn’t have anything left to
say. He did have to admit that this was an unexpected, and potentially
entertaining, turn of events.
 
“ He’s  worried?! About  Suigetsu ?! Goddammit! What gives him the  right?! ”
 
“Now, Karin, I understand that he was gone without a trace for several years,
but he clearly still-”
 
“With all due respect, my lord, you have  no idea  what you’re talking about.”
She stood up so quickly that her chair fell back against the floor. “If you’ll
excuse me.” The door slammed with enough force to shake the frames on the wall.

Now  this  was interesting. Orochimaru made a mental note to keep the trio from
killing one another. However, he wouldn’t intervene unless it became truly
necessary. Strong-willed individuals such as they needed to work things out on
their own. Absentmindedly, his thoughts drifted to Jiraiya, and he chuckled.
***** Chapter 28 *****
Chapter Notes
     I know who I am when I'm alone
     I'm something else when I see you
     You don't understand, you should never know
     How easy you are to need
     Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me
     Jesus Christ! Don't be kind to me
     Honey don't feed me - I will come back
     - Hozier, "It Will Come Back"
Suigetsu removed his borrowed lab coat, returning it to its rightful place on
the rack. Even from a distance, he could tell that Mitsuki was breathing more
easily, and color had already started to rise into his cheeks. He couldn't help
but feel satisfied, although he wondered what the poor boy’s fate would be with
Orochimaru as his sole parent. Suigetsu reminded himself that that was not his
problem. In the Blood Mist Village, one had to be ruthless to survive. The only
people who cared for him, once upon a time, were Mangetsu and, before going
rogue, Kisame Hoshigaki. Both left him alone at a young age. The world was
cruel and ruthless; the sooner one learned that lesson, the better.
 
He was a cynical bastard, and it had saved his life on more than one occasion.
Even with Taka, it was easiest to keep his comrades at a distance; you never
know when you'd have to kill someone. Juugo had been a companion, but not one
he'd give his life for. Sasuke was a means to an end. Karin, however… he didn't
know  why  he'd jumped into the fray to save her when she rushed to Sasuke on
the battlefield. His body had moved without conscious thought. In the years
since...
 
He shook himself from that train of thought. He refused to become sentimental
as long as they remained within the territory of the Hidden Sound.
Unconsciously, he had moved to stand beside Mitsuki, realizing where he was
only when he had arrived. He allowed himself a slight grin and ruffled the
child’s white hair with his hand. “Ya did good, kid.”
 
“Indeed. I don't doubt that Lord Orochimaru will be pleased.”
 
Suigetsu clenched his jaw as he turned his gaze to the door. Kabuto leaned
nonchalantly against the frame, his eyes unreadable behind the glint of his
glasses. “Can I help you?” he all but snarled.
 
“You certainly can.” Kabuto stood up straight and approached him while
maintaining a safe distance. His arms crossed over his chest, but the smirk on
his lips belied his confidence in the situation. “I must admit. I'm less than
pleased to hear about Karin’s,” he looked Suigetsu up and down with a sneer of
disgust, “indiscretion. That isn't to say that she's not free to make whatever
poor choices she chooses. However, I find it disturbing that you've grown so
bold as to have forgotten your place.”
 
“The fuck does that mean?” Suigetsu took a bold step in his direction, a
nonverbal challenge.
 
“To put it simply, for your sake, you've forgotten which one of you was the
specimen and which the researcher.” He used two fingers to push his glasses
further up his nose. “If Karin chooses to use you as her plaything, well, she's
well within her right, and I'm not one to judge. But it seems to me that you've
concluded that you're of an equal footing. To be so bold as to attack  me ,
well, I wouldn't be surprised if you've finally gone mad.”
 
“Listen here, you-”
 
“I'm not finished,” Kabuto snapped authoritatively, forcing Suigetsu to end his
sentence. “Lord Orochimaru has given you far too much freedom. Your leash needs
to be tightened, and I will not hesitate to do so. Keep your head down and do
as you're told, especially when it comes to Karin. Your continued existence is
a privilege.”
 
“A privilege? Listen up, asshole, I don't belong to  any-fucking-body , and the
only goddamned reason I’m here is to make sure Karin can get back out, and away
from you, you manipulative, sadistic bastard!” Suigetsu had closed the distance
between them, of an eye-level with his former captor. “If I had it my way, I'd
cut you into bite-sized pieces and throw you in the ocean, and I'd  enjoy it .
After what you did to her, I'd keep you alive as long as possible, just to
watch you  suffer .”
 
Kabuto blinked. “I know you didn't threaten me. Even you can't possibly be so
stupid.”
 
“Try me.”
 
His amusement that Suigetsu had fallen into his verbal trap was dampened by the
bloodlust in his eyes. “Lashing out physically because you can't debate me. How
barbaric. If anyone's a sadist, it would be the one carrying the title Second
Coming of the Demon. I don't feel as though you're in a place to pass judgement
on anyone, hm?” He gave a poisonous, tight-lipped smile. “I do wonder about
Karin’s judgement. If this were anything more than a merely casual arrangement,
I'd worry about her sanity. You must realize that you're far below her in every
aspect. You're simply not worthy of her attention.”
 
“What, and  you  were?”
 
“But of course. There's something to be said for those who can hold an
intellectual conversation. A quick wit, that one. Always eager to learn and
please. I assure you, unlike yourself, she found me highly stimulating, in far
more ways than mental capacity.”
 
Suigetsu could hear his blood roaring in his ears. He wanted nothing more than
to lash out and attack Kabuto, but that hadn’t gone well for him last time. If
he had his sword, things would be different, but there had been no need to
bring it with him to Mitsuki’s procedure. As it was, it leaned against the wall
beside the door of Karin’s bedroom. Kabuto stood between him and the door. If
he was going to do this, he had to get several steps ahead of the scientist.
 
“Sure,” Suigetsu sneered, tilting his head slightly to the left. “Because it
makes perfect sense for a man in his twenties to prey on a girl barely in her
teens. Is that why you abandoned her at sixteen? She aged out of your perverse
little fantasy, didn’t she? You’re disgusting.”
 
“Watch your mouth,” Kabuto snapped, glowering at him.
 
“Why? You afraid people’ll find out you have a hard-on for little teenage
girls?” Suigetsu bared his teeth in a dangerous grin, finally having found a
way to corner his opponent. “Maybe someone should tell Lord Hokage. He’ll
probably realize that you belong in a cell rather than that orphanage.”
 
“How  dare  you insinuate-”
 
“What?” Suigetsu cut him off. “That you groomed Karin for years to be your
little pet? That you have the balls to come back here and act like you own her?
Let me tell you something, you bastard. I’m not  insinuating  anything. I’m
telling the fucking truth, and you don’t like it.”
 
Kabuto, now on the defensive, began to push back. “I did no such thing! She
sought my approval as her mentor outside of any relationship we may have had. I
forced her to do  nothing .  She  came to  me .”
 
“Right. Because twenty-one-year-olds get down and dirty with fifteen-year-olds
all the time. Newsflash, mother fucker. You let it happen. You  knew  damn well
what was going on and what you were doing. So don’t even try to play the pious
innocent.  You  fucked her up.  You . Not me, not anybody else, but your head’s
so far up your own ass that you don’t see it! You come in here, act like
nothing’s wrong. You touch her and try to pull her back in. The only reason I
haven’t skinned you alive is her, and that’s because she doesn’t want to risk
having to stay here.”
 
“Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night? Because you can’t handle the
thought that she might just be using you for her own satisfaction? I assure
you, an intellectual such as herself could never deign to have feelings for a
failed lab rat. Have you read the notes she took on you, when she was tasked as
your observer? They’re quite the interesting read. Maybe then you’ll understand
just how you raise her ire and disgust her. Shall I get them for you?”
 
Suigetsu didn’t move consciously. It was as if he’d blinked, and his fist had
made contact with Kabuto’s nose of its own accord. The scientist staggered
back, doubled over and clutching his face, as blood seeped from between his
fingers. Suigetsu shook his bloodied hand, and his hunger took him over.
 
===============================================================================
 
The walls and ceiling shook at a sudden explosion of force, and Orochimaru’s
brush jerked haphazardly across the scroll before him. He would have been
annoyed if he wasn’t concerned with the cause of the disturbance. Both hands on
the table, he pushed himself up out of his chair and hurried to the door. When
he opened it, Karin rushed past him, a blur of red and white; he pursued her
closely, following her to the scene.
 
To his horror, he was left staring at a large hole in one of the exterior
walls. Stone had been blasted straight through, and sunlight streamed into the
building. He didn’t have time to despair over the decor. Sounds of battle rang
out, mere meters away from where he stood. Dammit, he should have anticipated
something like this.
 
The sannin hurried up the slight incline that deposited him into the
surrounding, sparse forest. It was impossible to miss the mass of chakra
centered in one of the clearings, both signatures raging outward and without
control. Karin looked nauseous, so he pushed past her and left her behind. He
couldn’t let the two of them get reckless; they were far from the only ones
living in the Hidden Sound, and they could easily injure someone or cause
massive damage.
 
Suigetsu careened down out of the sky, his blade rushing with the flow of his
boy as he swung, splitting and splintering the earth it came into contact with
from sheer force alone. A swift tug ripped it up, bringing dirt and grass up
with the movement as he settled the blade back on his shoulder. Violet eyes
darted around the clearing in search of his missed target.
 
He turned just in time to dodge several white snakes, which had been shot
forward at him with incredible speed. A blow from his sword, and the severed
heads littered the ground at his feet. He was getting too cocky, and he shouted
“That all you got?”
 
His goading had the sprurising effect of driving Kabuto out of hiding. The
scientist was trying to use his speed to his advantage, hoping to get close
enough to the swordsman to drive a chakra-bladed hand through his chest.
Suigetsu grinned and swung wildly, but Kabuto was quicker, jumping up and using
the blade to get an extra boost as he flipped behind him.
 
Suigetsu turned on his heel, bringing Kabuto’s blow to his shoulder rather than
his spine. It burned, but it didn’t sever his spinal column, as he knew the
other man had intended. In that moment, both were fighting with the intent to
kill.
 
Orochimaru knew that he should interfere, but he was too intrigued by the
battle raging before him to step in quite yet. Oh, he would put an end to it
before anyone died, but he was impressed with the improvement that both men
showed.
 
The sannin was caught off guard by a sudden rush of wind coming from behind his
right side. No sooner had he noticed the disturbance in the air did he see
large, spiked chains flying past him at impeccable speed. The force of contact
drove Kabuto and Suigetsu apart, and the golden chains wrapped around their
bodies before anchoring their points into the earth, leaving both men incapable
of moving and suspended mid-air.
 
Suigetsu’s sword lay on the ground at his feet, and Kabuto’s chakra blade had
disappeared. Neither of them could manifest any of their chakra, and, as they
struggled, the chains only tightened. Orochimaru tapped a finger against his
cheek in thought before turning his head to look behind him.
 
Karin stood, hand extended and feet braced against the earth, with the ends of
these chains rooted into her back. Her lips were contorted into a scowl, both
of displeasure and discomfort, if he was judging correctly. Orochimaru allowed
himself a smile. Her skill with her clan’s Adamantine Sealing Chain technique
had improved significantly. Restraining both Suigetsu and Kabuto was no small
feat, and sealing their chakra entirely was even more impressive.
 
With a flick of her wrist, the chains drug both men to opposite sides of the
clearing, putting several meters between them. Her breathing was becoming
ragged from the amount of chakra required for this jutsu, and so she withdrew
the chains with haste. Both Suigetsu and Kabuto fell to the earth with force,
knocking the wind out of them both. Neither had enough time to replenish their
chakra before making contact.
 
In her displeasure, Karin turned her back on the clearing and stalked back into
the hideout, intending to check on Mitsuki. If either of them had hurt the
child in their recklessness, there would be hell to pay.
***** Chapter 29 *****
Chapter Notes
     'Cause I've been on the run so long they can't find me
     You waking up to remember I'm pretty
     And when the chemicals leave my body
     Yeah, they're gonna find me in a hotel lobby 'cause
     Mmm tough, times they keep coming
     All night laughing and fucking
     Some days like I'm barely breathing
     And after we were high in the love, doped out
     It was you
     The pill I keep taking
     The nightmare I'm waking
     There's nothing, no nothing, nothing but you
     My perfect rock bottom
     My beautiful trauma
     My love, my love, my drug, oh
     - P!nk, "Beautiful Trauma"
     It seems that the characters are as sorry as I am for all the angst,
     because this chapter wasn't supposed to be fluff. They decided that
     they (and you) need a short break. I hope you enjoy this deviation!
“What the hell were you thinking?!” Karin smacked Suigetsu on the back of the
head with her left hand. It wasn’t the smartest move on her part; the force
knocked his head forward and caused him to dig his teeth more deeply into the
skin of her forearm. She hissed, and he jerked his head back, arching an
eyebrow as a question. “I didn’t think it through, okay?! I’m still mad at
you!”
 
Suigetsu sighed, shaking his head. She’d given him enough of her chakra to heal
his shoulder, which had been cut deeply into the muscle. Without her, it would
have taken weeks to heal and rehabilitate. This was the first time he didn’t
object to her offer, and he did so only because they were leaving in just a few
days. A gimp arm wouldn’t exactly be helpful in that situation. He needed to be
at his peak for the journey back to the Land of Wind. Now, at least, they were
operating above the radar and wouldn’t have to hide quite as much.
 
“You’re bleeding,” he noted, trying to divert the conversation.
 
“I know,” she snapped, digging in her med kit for the roll of bandages. Before
she could wrap her arm, her train of thought got the best of her again, and she
threw the roll back down on the bed. “He could have killed you! You're an
idiot! He's gone head-to-head with the sannin!” Karin clenched her fists,
ignoring her arm in favor of lecturing Suigetsu.
 
“You weren’t there!” Suigetsu growled. “Karin, he has  no idea . That mother
fucker doesn’t have a damned clue! He doesn’t think he did  anything  wrong!
What was I supposed to do?!”
 
“Not risk your life!”
 
“And what? Risk him making a pass at you? Coercing you? You can’t lie to me,
Karin. You’ve had nightmares about him ever since he got here. I know, because
he gives you goddamned  night terrors !”
 
“I can live with that! What would I do if you died, hm? Did you even think of
that?!”
 
Suigetsu faltered, his shoulders drooping from their raised, defensive
position. “I-”
 
Karin’s hands shot out, fisting in the front of his black shirt. She pulled him
closer, taking away the option of walking or looking away from her. A wave of
guilt hit him when he saw the pain in her eyes, hiding underneath the fury.
“You’re a fucking selfish, impulsive idiot!”
 
“I’m sorry!” The apology was rushed, but it was genuine. He hesitated before
unfurling her fingers, his brow furrowed. “I wasn’t thinking about that. He
made me so angry… I don’t even remember punching him. You know that, once I get
started, I can’t stop. All I could think about was making him suffer.”
 
Karin removed her glasses and rubbed her temples. “Sui… you know you can’t do
that.”
 
“Yeah, and I haven’t. I tried not to, but… ugh, it pisses me off just thinking
about it!” He clenched his fist and hit it on his thigh. “I broke. I lost
control. I admit it. All I can do is say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I upset you, but
I'm  not  sorry for breaking his nose. God, that was so  satisfying !”
 
He expected a lecture, but he got the barest hint of a chuckle instead. “I wish
I'd been there.”
 
“I'm glad you weren't. You might have stopped me.” He reached out and laid a
hand on her forearm, drawing it back when he felt moisture there. He picked up
the bandage roll and began to wrap the wound he’d inadvertently caused. “Sorry
about this.”
 
“No, it was my fault.” Karin flexed her forearm when he was finished, checking
that the wrap would stay taut despite movement. “Let me look at your shoulder.”
 
“‘S fine. Don't worry about it.” Despite his words, her hands grabbed the hem
of his shirt and began to pull it over his head. “Dammit, woman! Fine! I can
take off my own damned shirt!” He fought the fabric back down, freeing himself
from the restraint she'd inadvertently caused. Complying, he restarted the
process, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the side.
 
Karin’s fingers brushed the still-angry skin. It had knit back together, but
the wound remained aggravated. “You didn't take enough of my chakra.”
 
“I told you it's fine.”
 
Karin grabbed him by the elbow and jerked his arm up, causing him to yelp in
pain. “Really?”
 
“Dammit, crazy bitch!” Suigetsu pulled himself away. “Ok, I didn’t. So what?”
 
“You can’t fight like this. You won’t be any good when we travel, either. I’m
not taking months out of the schedule for you to heal naturally.” Karin offered
him her uninjured arm.
 
“Babe, no.” Suigetsu shook his head. “You’re exhausted. You’ve been going non-
stop for twelve hours,  and  you used your chakra on Mitsuki and in your jutsu.
You’re gonna pass out if I do. Just leave it.”
 
“No.”
 
“Karin.”
 
“Suigetsu.”
 
He groaned, throwing his head back as though he was pleading with the heavens.
“Oh, my  God , woman.” He rolled his eyes before looking back down at her.
“There’s no risk with waiting a while to heal the rest of my shoulder, right?”
 
“I suppose not…” She glanced over his wound once more.
 
“Then it can wait until tomorrow. Okay? You get your chakra back up, I get my
shoulder healed. Win-win. Happy?”
 
Jaw clenched, she relented. “I guess.”
 
“Fuck, I’ll take it.” He turned around on the bed and fell forward, taking
Karin down with him. They wrestled for dominance for a few moments, as always,
and Karin came out on top this time. She sat on his chest and leaned down,
flicking him between the eyes with her index finger.
 
“Quit being stupid.”
 
“Ah, come on. You love it. I wouldn’t be half as fun if I was some stuffy
academic.” Another flick. “Ah! Dammit, woman!”
 
“I’d  like  it if you’d take a step back every once in a while and think things
through.” Her tone was sharp, but the look on her face was laced with regret.
 
Suigetsu lifted his arms and placed his hands on her hips, tracing patterns on
her skin at her lower back. “I’ll try from now on,” he relented. “You’re about
ninety percent of my impulse control, as it is. I’ll work on getting it down to
about seventy-five.”
 
“Ninety percent?” She raised a singular eyebrow. “And you call this impulse
control ? My God, how have you survived this long?”
 
“Luck, mostly, and killing anything that would kill me before it had the
chance.”
 
“What the hell am I going to do with you?”
 
His lips parted in a lecherous grin. “I can think of a few things.”
 
Karin narrowed her eyes, and the light from the window glinted off her lenses
as she straightened up a bit. “After today? You can’t be serious.”
 
His grin faded. “But I’m lucky?”
 
“Not a chance in hell.”
 
He looked deeply pained by her words. The right words, the ones that might get
him out of the dog house, just weren’t coming to him. Dammit, why couldn’t he
have a better vocabulary? To his benefit, Karin took his extended silence as an
admission of defeat. She climbed off the bed and stood, popping her back as she
did so. “I’m getting a shower. I reek of latex and lab. It’s disgusting.”
 
Suigetsu sat up on the bed, his eyes following her every movement. Wow, she
really  was  pissed. She’d yelled at him hundreds of times before, but this
post-argument tension was killing him. His jokes had all been shut down. Okay,
maybe they hadn’t been jokes, exactly; he had actually hoped that she’d
forgiven him enough for certain extracurricular activities. Apparently, she
hadn’t. He watched her pull out a set of sleep clothes and set them on the
sink, returning to the bedroom for a few more necessities.
 
A sharp glance told him that she was aware of what he was doing. Boldly, he
stayed his course, daring to give her a smirk. “What?”
 
“Idiot,” she grumbled, turning her back on him and walking into the bathroom.
The door clicked shut.
 
He sighed and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The pipes began
to hum when the water was turned on.  Way to fuck up, Suigetsu,  he scolded
himself, throwing a forearm over his eyes. He’d been trying his best through
the whole situation; it had only started because he was defending her. He
couldn’t stand to hear anyone talk about her in such a way.
 
Karin’s voice was muffled by the closed door, but he clearly heard her call,
“Sui? You coming or not?”
 
Suigetsu jumped to his feet and rushed across the room, as if he were afraid
that she’d change her mind before he could get there.
***** Chapter 30 *****
Chapter Notes
     Cause we didn't know back then
     No one's an island
     Here we stand, hand in hand
     Rising up again
     But you've got the fight in your eyes
     And now we're shining under red hot lights
     The truth burns as bright as the sun
     We're gonna come back and show everyone
     - Moon Taxi, "Red Hot Lights"
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Easy,” Karin coaxed as she placed a hand on Mitsuki’s back, helping him sit
further up so that she could tuck an additional pillow behind him. She lowered
him back down into a half-reclining position before asking “Is that better?”
 
“Much, thank you.” The child gave her a charming smile, and his eyes closed
when he did so. His attention was brief, and he looked back to Orochimaru, who
sat beside the bed he’d awoken in. “So I’ve been asleep, and that’s why I don’t
remember anything?”
 
“That’s right.” Orochimaru handed the child a cup of tea, which he drank
greedily. “You, my precious child, gave us all quite a scare. It’s thanks to
your aunt and uncle that you’re here with us, now.”
 
“Who?”
 
“Your Aunt Karin and Uncle Kabuto, of course. The woman right there is your
Aunt Karin.”
 
Mitsuki’s golden eyes locked on to her, and Karin tried her best to maintain a
natural appearance for the child’s sake, even if the title made her skin crawl.
She would be having a frank discussion with Orochimaru later. All the same, she
gave a tight-lipped smile, biting back the words she wanted to say. The child
had only just regained consciousness, after all.
 
“And who are you?”
 
Orochimaru placed his hand overtop of Mitsuki’s. “Why, I’m your parent, of
course.”
 
“Parent? Are you my mother or my father?”
 
“That’s not important, my precious child. Suffice it to say that I am the
reason you exist.”
 
Mitsuki didn’t seem satisfied with the answer, but he didn’t press the matter.
“How is she my aunt?” He nodded at Karin, who wondered what Orochimaru would
say.
 
“She isn't, biologically. But, children often use ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ to refer
to those friends of the family who act in some parental respect.”
 
“Ah.” He nodded his understanding. “That makes sense. And my uncle?”
 
“Also unrelated. You have two more, aside from Kabuto: your Uncle Juugo and
your Uncle Suigetsu, but you can meet them once you’ve had time to rest.”
 
“Why not now?”
 
“Because,” Karin answered as she wrote down Mitsuki’s current heart rate, “they
are all large, loud, and annoying, none of which are conducive to healing. If
any of them were to interfere with your wellbeing, I would have to kill them
myself, and I don’t feel like cleaning up.”
 
Orochimaru arched an eyebrow at her, unable to tell if she was joking. Mitsuki
took her words at face-value, and he frowned at the apparent gravity of the
situation. “I understand.”
 
Karin let out an amused chuckle, holding it inside her chest. “Now listen.
You’ve just had a medical procedure, and I don’t want you falling asleep yet.
We will all be taking turns keeping an eye on you and keeping you awake. As
soon as I can make sure that everything’s the way it should be, you can go to
sleep. Alright?”
 
“I just have to sit here?”
 
“Unfortunately. Although, I’m sure there’s something around here that could
keep you entertained.” Karin set the clipboard down on the counter. “Can he
read?” she asked, the question directed at Orochimaru.
 
“No, but he can be read to. One moment.” The sannin stood and left the room,
shuffling down the hall. Not a moment later, he returned, handing a battered
paperback to Karin. “You don’t mind the first shift, do you? You’re already
here, and who knows how long it will take to gather the others.”
 
“Of course, my lord.” Karin took the novel from his hands. She sat down in the
chair Orochimaru had vacated and opened the book to the first page. With a
cough, she cleared her throat and began to read.
 
“ The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi . Prologue. The mission was supposed to
be nothing more than a quick patrol along the border between Shuku and Hyakki,
but luck was never kind to Naruto Musasabi.”
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
“‘Surely you remember Nikaku Onikoma. He’ll be accompanying you in your search
for Renge.’” Karin read in a deep base. She switched into an Alto, which she
had been using to voice Naruto, before continuing.
 
“‘No way! Nikaku died in the First Ninja World War. Kokage-sama, there has to
be a mistake.’
 
‘I truly am Nikaku, and I assure you that I am very much alive.’
 
‘Nikaku, Naruto, your duty is to bring Renge back to Shuku. Alive.’
 
‘Yes, Kokage-sama,’ both men choroused.
 
‘To keep up the illusion of my death, Naruto, I will be traveling alongside you
in the shape of a donkey.’
 
‘But Nikaku, doesn’t seem like something an ass would do?’”
 
Karin’s storytelling was interrupted by a snort of laughter from behind.
Mitsuki looked over at the same time Karin turned around. Suigetsu was doubled-
over in the doorway, almost crying. Unable to catch his breath, he wheezed,
“The hell?”
 
“Lord Orochimaru gave me this book to read to Mitsuki to help pass the time,”
Karin informed him, mildly defensive. “Question his taste in literature, not
mine.”
 
“I like it,” Mitsuki chimed in. “Naruto speaks what’s on his mind. Everyone
else is thinking about what they should say, but he just says it.”
 
“Well, look at you, kid.” Suigetsu walked into the room and approached Mitsuki.
A large hand ruffled the child’s hair in an affectionate matter. “Awake and
thinking and shit.”
 
“Those are considered the basic signs of life,” Karin quipped without thinking.
Catching herself, she realized that she wouldn’t have stopped herself from
saying it in the first place.
 
Suigetsu flipped her off, and Karin used the closed book to smack him on the
thigh. Mitsuki watched the interaction attentively, wondering why a gesture
would make Karin hit the man. The child then turned his head up to look at
Suigetsu. “Who are you?”
 
“Me?” Suigetsu pointed to himself. “I’m Suigetsu. Good to finally meet ya,
kid.”
 
Mitsuki smiled. “Uncle Suigetsu,” he repeated, committing the face to memory.
 
“Uncle?”
 
Directly quoting Orochimaru, Mitsuki repeated “Children often use ‘aunt’ and
‘uncle’ to refer to those friends of the family who act in some parental
respect.”
 
Suigetsu looked to Karin, who mouthed Orochimaru’s name. He turned back to
Mitsuki. “Let me give you some advice. The way your old man talks can be a
little creepy. Try to use your own words, okay?”
 
“My old man? Does that mean my parent is my father?”
 
“Your parent is your parent. Just leave it at that.” Karin stood from her seat,
having no desire to discuss gender politics with a child who had just come out
of a coma. “It’s easier that way.” She handed the book to Suigetsu before
asking, “Did you start packing?”
 
“Yeah. ‘S not like we brought a whole lot.”
 
“Thanks. I’ll make sure Juugo takes over for you in a few hours.” She placed a
hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Don’t corrupt him too much, okay?”
With that, she left the room.
 
“Yeah, yeah.” Suigetsu plopped down in the empty chair and crossed his legs,
lounging back. “Ok, where were we?” His thumb scanned the pages of the novel
until he’d found the place Karin had marked. “Oh yeah. ‘But Nikaku, doesn’t
seem like something an ass would do?’”
 
“No.” Mitsuki interrupted.
 
“No?”
 
“You have to do the voices. Like Auntie Karin.”
 
“Oh, my god, kid, you’re killing me.”
 
“Auntie!” Mitsuki called.
 
“Shit! Okay, fuck! Stop it!” Suigetsu fumbled with the book in panic. He held a
finger to his lips and shushed Mitsuki.
 
The child looked back at him with mischief in his eyes. Suigetsu bristled,
staring him down. Neither wavered until Mitsuki opened his mouth again.
 
In a bass voice, Suigetsu repeated, “‘But Nikaku, doesn’t seem like something
an ass would do?’”
 
“No, that’s Kokage-sama’s voice.”
 
“For the love of- What do you want from me, kid?”
 
“Do the voices.”
 
“Oh, my god. Karin!”
 
“Auntie!”
 
===============================================================================
 
“Just keep him awake for another two hours. I’ll be in to check on him and make
sure that he’s okay to sleep,” Karin instructed Juugo, who nodded his
compliance. “We’ve been reading to him, but he insists that you do voices for
the characters.”
 
“Nothing I can’t handle,” the gentle giant assured her.
 
“Wait.” Her hand shot out and caught him by the forearm. She was looking into
space, at something Juugo couldn’t see. “Sasuke and Sakura are here.
Something’s wrong.” Coming back to the present, she instructed, “Let Suigetsu
stay with Mitsuki for now. I might need your help.” She set off running down
the hall, Juugo a few steps behind.
 
“Should I inform Kabuto or Lord Orochimaru?”
 
“They’ll have sensed it on their own,” Karin assured him. Sure enough, as the
pair rounded the corner, the two men in question were just a few meters ahead
of them. The entrance to the hideout opened up to the night sky as they rushed
aboveground.
 
“Get away from her!” Sasuke shouted, staring down the ANBU agent who had dared
to lay a hand on Sakura. He was supporting her with his single arm, unable to
hold a weapon, but his activated Sharingan was enough of a threat to make the
shinobi follow his orders.
 
“What’s going on?” Orochimaru asked, coming around Sakura’s other side to help
support her.
 
“Premature labor.”
 
“My body couldn’t take the stress from travel,” Sakura managed to inform him
before grinding her teeth. “I thought I would be fine. I should have had a few
more weeks.” Her voice wavered with regret. “Six. I should have had six more
weeks.”
 
“Don’t think about that right now,” Karin interjected. “Everything’s going to
be alright. I’ll take care of you. Juugo! Take Sakura to my lab, please. Lord
Orochimaru’s hasn’t been properly cleaned since Mitsuki left.”
 
Sasuke seemed hesitant to hand Sakura over, but he relented. Juugo could be
trusted, if only because he would never do anything to harm Sasuke. Karin had
to jog to keep up with his long strides. Continuing to bark out orders, she
directed, “Kabuto! I need painkillers from the lab Mitsuki was in. Lord
Orochimaru, if you please, tell Suigetsu what’s going on. I need him scrubbed
and in a coat as soon as possible.”
 
“Suigetsu?” Sasuke asked skeptically.
 
“He’s a competent assistant,” Karin assured him, too preoccupied to harp on how
they’d parted or his demeanor. “I can get Sakura and the baby through this
safely, but I can’t have you in my way. You need to trust me. If you can’t do
that, you can’t be in the room.”
 
“I can.”
 
“Good. She needs you there.” She stopped in front of a door, adding, “Three to
the left. Juugo will have her there. No one touches her until I’m there, not
even Kabuto. Understood?”
 
Sasuke gave a brisk nod and ran down the hall. Karin stepped into the room and
grabbed a coat and gloves before scrubbing herself in the sink. She took a deep
breath to calm herself and get her mind working at the appropriate place.
Thirty-four weeks. It was early, but not too early. She could do this. She’d
never had to deliver a child before, but she’d read enough on the subject to
know what she needed to do, just in case. Orochimaru and Kabuto were, and
always had been, researchers. Someone needed to know how to heal, after all.
 
Karin pulled on her gloves and put on a face of determination. It was going to
be a long night, but they would all get through it. She’d make sure of that.
Chapter End Notes
     Major plot points for the novel were pulled from the Wiki, but all
     passages are completely made up.
     Also, I want to clarify that this particular Mitsuki is going to
     become Log, and is not the same Mitsuki that Boruto and Sarada team
     with.
***** Chapter 31 *****
Chapter Notes
     And I don't blame you dear for running like you did all these years
     I would do the same, you'd best believe
     And the highway signs say we're close but I don't read those things
     anymore
     I never trusted my own eyes
     - The Lumineers, "Stubborn Love"
“Everybody out,” Karin commanded, pointing at the door. “I need to get Sakura
in a gown. Sasuke can stay. Everyone else, wait outside.” Assuming that the men
would do as she instructed, Karin walked over to Sakura. She helped her sit up
and undress while asking rudimentary questions about her labor.
 
“Contractions?”
 
“Still far enough apart.”
 
“Pain?”
 
“Seven, at the moment.”
 
“Medication?”
 
“None.”
 
Sasuke stood to the side as he listened to the rapid back and forth. He didn't
want to get in the way, and so he let Karin do what she wanted. He lent a hand
only to help lower Sakura back down.
 
“Alright!” Karin shouted, granting permission for the others to enter the room.
She draped a thin blanket over Sakura’s lower body and sat down on a stool
between her legs. A quick look, and Karin was able to draw her conclusion.
“You're not too far along for painkillers, if you want them.”
 
“God, yes,” Sakura sighed in relief.
 
“Kabuto.” Karin held out her hand for the syringe she'd sent him to fetch. It
was placed into her palm without a word. “Sasuke.” The Uchiha helped lift
Sakura up into a sitting position. Karin uncapped the needle and warned “This
is going to hurt like a bitch.”
 
“Do it.” Sakura’s voice didn't waver. Her face contorted when the needle
pierced her skin, but it was over after a few seconds. Sasuke lowered her back
down.
 
“I don't have to tell you that you're going to have to be patient,” Karin
informed Sakura. “I don't want you to worry. I'm perfectly capable of handling
this situation.”
 
“I believe that.”
 
Karin gave her the barest hint of a smile. When she turned to the others, her
serious demeanor had returned. “Lord Orochimaru, please see that Mitsuki gets
his rest. Kabuto, check the boy and clear him to sleep. Juugo, you're free to
go. There's not much to be done here but monitor. I'll keep Suigetsu here and
have him alert you if you're needed.”
 
Suigetsu watched in amazement as the sannin and his apprentice left the room
without complaint, deferring to her judgement. It was astounding. He hadn't
paid much attention before, but in that moment, it was clear that, whatever may
have happened personally, Karin had earned their respect as a scientist and
medic. His violet eyes stared at the door as it closed, shutting the four of
them inside of Karin’s lab.
 
The room fell silent. Sasuke stood beside Sakura, caressing her hair as he
looked down at her. Karin was busy pulling out necessary supplies, which left
him without anything to do. Absentmindedly, he began to drum his fingers
against the counter rhythmically. Adding to the beat, he used his other hand to
clap the outside of his thigh at odd intervals.
 
“Suigetsu.”
 
He looked up to see Karin’s disapproving glare. “Sorry.” Damn, he wished he'd
thought to take that book from Mitsuki.
 
Sakura turned her head to Karin. “I'm sorry to put you through this. I thought
I had time to make it home.”
 
“Don't worry about that.” In an uncharacteristic move, she placed a hand on the
woman’s shoulder for a brief moment. “I'm glad I was here. I wouldn’t trust
those idiots to see you through carefully. They're researchers through and
through. At least I know what I'm doing.”
 
Sakura clenched her jaw, riding out another contraction as Karin kept time by
the clock on the wall. Panting, she hissed, “I thought you gave me a
painkiller.”
 
“I did. We're not a hospital. I have to work with what's on hand here. It won't
be the easiest delivery, but I told you that I can get you through it safely.
If anyone can will herself through this, it's you. Remember that. And, if you
need to, Sasuke can take a beating and still stand.”
 
“Please don't shatter my hand,” Sasuke requested.
 
“Please. You've had worse,” Karin countered. “You break whatever you want to
break, Sakura.”
 
Suigetsu wheeled himself away from the counter to ask, “Got a name?”
 
“A few.” Sakura smiled. “We decided that the first character should be ‘sa,’
like both of ours.”
 
“How about Satomi?” Suigetsu stopped his chair at Sakura’s bedside.
 
“I like that one, but Sasuke doesn't.”
 
“Karin? Can I speak with you?” Sasuke asked, nodding to the door.
 
Karin stepped out into the hall and shut the door behind them. She could still
see through the small window to keep an eye on Sakura. “What is it?”
 
“We need to talk about what happened in the Land of Iron.” Sasuke’s arm crossed
his chest in muscle memory of having his other arm. He noticed what he was
doing and let it drop.
 
Karin pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and settled her weight on
one foot as she looked up at him. “I will say this once, and we won't speak of
it again. My reasons for leaving were my own, although I will admit that
Suigetsu suggested it. I am not an object of convenience. Your assumption that
I would play nursemaid to Sakura was demeaning and presumptuous. Make the
adjustment that I'm not here to clean up your messes, Sasuke.” She clicked her
tongue before adding, “Which isn't to say that I won't do everything in my
power to see Sakura and the child safely through delivery. Sakura asked to be
my friend; I turned her down, but I'm ready to try if she still is. Maybe it's
time you stop seeing us as subordinates rather than equals. We're not Taka
anymore, like it or not.”
 
They stared at one another for several moments, neither saying a word. Deciding
that she'd given him ample time to reply, Karin assumed that their conversation
was over. She turned the doorknob and stepped back into the lab, and Sasuke
followed. Suigetsu spun around on his stool to face the door, his violet eyes
wide with disbelief.
 
“Dude.  Sarada ? Please tell me you're not going to name the fucking kid
Sarada. She'll get picked on!”
 
“It's better than Boruto,” Sasuke muttered defensively.
 
“Is it? Is it really, though? Look at your life choices. As her godparent, I
can't let you do that to her.”
 
“Suigetsu, you're not the godparent.”
 
“Damn right I'm not if you name that baby Salad.”
 
===============================================================================
 
“Oh, my god, just  get it out! ” Sakura’s shout was loud enough to wake those
lucky enough to get some sleep that night. Five hours had passed since she
began labor, and she was on the verge of killing someone. Sasuke had the good
sense to leave and find her some ice after she’d tried to take his other arm
off.
 
“Sakura, work with me,” Karin snapped. From the beginning, it was clear that
the leaf ninja wasn’t one for soft words and gentle bedside manner. If Sakura
was loud, Karin had to be louder. It probably had something to do with her
training under the fifth Hokage, but Karin wasn’t focused on that right now.
“You’re still not dilated enough. You’re a medic, so start thinking like one!
We can’t be stupid about this!”
 
Suigetsu kept a safe distance from both women, terrified of getting caught in
the middle. This bout, however, ended more quickly than the last. Sakura fell
back against the pillows and looked as though she were about to cry. “I’m going
to kill him,” she swore.
 
Karin sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the top of Sakura’s hand.
“Yes, you are, but you have to get through this, first.”
 
To Karin’s surprise, Sakura’s hand turned, and the woman gently laced their
fingers together. “Thank you.” Sakura gave her hand a squeeze. “I know you
don’t want to do this, but if I wasn’t here…” she let that train of thought go.
“This has to be hard on you.”
 
“Not as much as you’d think. I just don’t like seeing a friend in pain.”
 
Sakura looked up at her in disbelief. What had happened that changed Karin so
drastically since she last saw her? Her entire demeanor had changed. It was a
positive shift, to be sure.
 
Suigetsu coughed. “Hate to interrupt the love-fest, babe, but I’m gonna die
unless I get some coffee. Want any?”
 
“Black,” Karin requested.
 
He gagged. As he left, he muttered to himself loud enough to be heard. “Fuckin’
devil woman, drinkin’ acid like it’s fucking normal…”
 
“Find Sasuke!” Karin called after him, just before the door closed. She
disentangled her fingers from Sakura’s and walked over to the counter, where
she started rummaging through the drawers.
 
“That’s new,” Sakura commented.
 
“Hm?”
 
“You and Suigetsu. Whatever's going on there.”
 
“I see.”
 
“What  is  going on, there?”
 
“I said we could be friends. I'm not totally comfortable with those boundaries
yet.”
 
“You're about to pull a baby out of me, and you're talking boundaries?”
 
“Valid point.” Karin found what she was looking for and turned back around.
“We’re involved.”
 
“Involved how?”
 
“What do you mean?”
 
“Are you involved romantically? Sexually? Is it a friends with benefits
situation? Are you exclusive?”
 
“Whoa.” Karin held up a hand. “That's a lot of personal information. Why would
I tell you that?”
 
“It's what friends do. Okay, Sasuke and I-”
 
“Nope,” Karin cut her off. “Look. I never went through the stereotypical
teenage girl phase. I didn't have sleepovers and talk about boys - it's not
like I had other girls to do that with - so forgive me if I'm not on the same
wavelength. Anything I experienced, I experienced on my own. I don't really
have a good grasp on expressing these things without sounding completely
insane.”
 
Although her words were clipped, Sakura could tell that she wasn't trying to be
offensive. She remembered how Karin used to act around Sasuke; that level of
open infatuation would have been quelled by her peers if she had any. She
really was one of the few women in an organization made up of men. Sakura had
Ino as her best friend for her entire life; anything else seemed so foreign.
“Baby steps?” she asked. “Come on, distract the pregnant woman.”
 
“Fine. You can ask me yes or no questions, but I won't guarantee that I'll
answer.”
 
“Do you have feelings for him?”
 
“Yes.” Responding in such a simple manner made discussing the matter much
easier for Karin.
 
“And he has feelings for you?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Have you slept together?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“More than once?”
 
“Yes.”
 
Sakura was thrilled that Karin was playing along. It was a welcome distraction,
and she was learning more about the other woman than she'd ever thought she'd
know. Her eyes shone with mischief as she asked “Was it good?”
 
Karin snorted unintentionally. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth and
nose, stifling a laugh at herself. Sakura couldn't hold back, and when she was
finally through laughing, Karin answered “Yes.”
 
“Is he the first person you've been with?”
 
This time, she hesitated. “No.”
 
Sakura couldn't stop herself from asking. “Sasuke?”
 
“No.”
 
“Are you lying?”
 
“No, I'm not. There would be no point.”
 
Sakura sighed in relief. That wasn't a blow she was sure that she could take.
“Sorry.”
 
“I understand. You had to ask.”
 
“Who was it?”
 
Karin adjusted her glasses. “I'd prefer not to say.”
 
“Can I ask why?”
 
“The whole thing was far from healthy. It's been a struggle, and I don't want
to get into that.”
 
“You can talk to me, you know.”
 
Echoing her words, Karin declared “Baby steps.”
 
There was a sharp pounding at the door to the lab that drew their attention.
Karin stood to open the door, letting both Suigetsu and Sasuke inside. Suigetsu
had a cup of coffee in each hand, and Sasuke was holding the cup of ice he'd
been sent to get. “Battery acid and an Uchiha,” Suigetsu declared as he handed
Karin her mug. He grimaced when the redhead drank nearly half the cup at once.
“There's something so fucking wrong with you.”
 
“Bite me,” she snapped before taking another drink.
 
“Here.” Sasuke handed Sakura the cup of ice. “What did I miss?”
 
“Feminine bonding,” Sakura teased.
 
“We’re friends now. Sakura made the good point that most boundaries are erased
by me delivering her baby.”
 
“That'll do it, I guess?” Suigetsu shrugged and took a drink from his mug.
 
Another knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Orochimaru poked his
head in the room, looking haggard. “Someone tell me how to do the voices for
this damned book before I set it on fire.”
 
Suigetsu sighed. “Duty calls.”
 
“Don't keep him! I need my midwife!” Karin warned.
 
“Five minutes,” Orochimaru swore, clearly relieved that the cavalry had
arrived.
***** Chapter 32 *****
Chapter Notes
     Leash-less confusion I wander the concrete
     Wonder if better now having survived
     Jarring of judgment and reasons defeat
     The sweet heat of her breath in my mouth I'm alive
     With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean
     She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene
     With her straw-blonde hair, her arms hard and lean
     She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene.
     - Hozier, "Angel of Small Death & the Codeine Scene"
“Push!” Karin instructed, shouting over Sakura’s cries of pain. “You can do it,
Sakura!”
 
“No, I can’t!” Sakura gasped, feeling weak. “Oh, God, just make it stop.”
 
“Don’t give me that! Now push!”
 
Sasuke’s face contorted as Sakura clamped down on his hand. If she kept this
up, she’d break it, and he’d need his own medical care. Even so, he didn’t say
a word about it. His dark eyes watched Karin as she worked, studying everything
she did. Sakura was in her hands. The thought made him slightly afraid. He’d
seen Karin’s less-than-stable nature many times. So far, she seemed focused and
clear. He just hoped she’d stay that way.
 
“Stop,” Karin ordered. Sakura let out a groan and let her body relax,
whimpering. “Sakura, listen to me. The next one, you’re going to give it your
all.”
 
“I already am.”
 
“No, you’re not. When I tell you to, you’re going to push, and you won’t stop
until I tell you to. Do you understand?”
 
Sakura felt tears running down her cheeks as she stared up at the ceiling.
Sasuke’s hand gave hers a squeeze, grounding her and bringing her back to the
present. She swallowed thickly before agreeing, “Okay.”
 
“Good. You’re doing great, but I need you to stay with me.” Karin looked to the
side. “Suigetsu, I need you over here with the rolling table.”
 
“On it.” Suigetsu stood up and walked to her side, bringing the table with him.
 
“You remember what I told you to do?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“Good. Sakura?”
 
“Hn?”
 
“Get ready. Push!”
 
Sakura didn’t bother to hold back the scream that ripped through her body. The
pain and fatigue had virtually blinded her to her surroundings, and instinct
kicked in. She barely heard Karin’s words of encouragement. Keep going. She had
to keep going. She wanted so desperately to stop, but her body refused to let
her.
 
“Got her!” Karin exclaimed. The newborn began to cry, and she passed him to
Suigetsu before handing Sasuke a pair of medical scissors. “Well?”
 
Sasuke took the scissors and requested, “I’ll need some help.”
 
Karin obliged, holding the cord so that Sasuke could cut it. Suigetsu wrapped
the child securely and cleaned her face, making sure that her airways were
clear. All of a sudden, he stopped, staring wide-eyed down at the infant.
 
“What’s wrong?” Karin demanded.
 
“She’s so tiny… What if I hurt her?”
 
“Here.” Karin gently lifted the baby from his arms. He visibly relaxed when she
did so. He kept his distance as Karin brought the baby to Sakura, placing her
gently on her chest so that she could hold her. “Congratulations.” She smiled
down at the pair.
 
Sakura looked up at Sasuke, who stood wordlessly by her side. “Sasuke? Are you
alright?”
 
Sasuke’s eyes hadn’t left his child’s face. In a soft voice, he breathed, “She
looks just like Itachi.”
 
Sakura looked down at the infant, suddenly aware of the familial resemblance.
“You’re right.” She smiled, adding with a small laugh, “It’s a good thing your
brother was beautiful.”
 
“Can I…?”
 
“Sit down, first,” Karin instructed, walking to the other side of the bed. She
placed a hand on Sasuke’s upper arm, guiding him back to a chair. “Set your arm
like this.” She adjusted his elbow and wrist. “Perfect.” Sakura handed Karin
the infant, and Karin brought her to her father. “Careful, now. You have to be
twice as attentive when holding her.” She didn’t take her hands off the child
until she was sure that Sasuke had a secure hold on her.
 
Without his other arm, Sasuke had no way to stop the tears that had begun to
roll down his cheeks. “Just like him.” He smiled. “He’d spoil you rotten.”
 
“Think you can hold her while Suigetsu and I clean up?” Karin inquired.
 
“Yeah. We’ll be just fine.”
 
===============================================================================
 
Karin’s bed had never felt so inviting as it did that afternoon. She hadn’t
wanted to leave Sakura under the care of anyone other than herself, but she
couldn’t function any longer. Juugo was a savior, agreeing to keep an eye on
her and to come get Karin if she needed anything. He was also given
instructions not to let Kabuto or Orochimaru anywhere near her lab. The infant
was of Uchiha blood, and that alone was reason for concern where those two were
involved. Maybe she was being overly cautious, but she refused to take any
risks.
 
She’d barely managed to stand in the shower long enough to get clean; it took
more than a little help from Suigetsu to remain upright. Emerging from the
bathroom, she somehow stumbled the few steps she needed to make it to her bed,
where she promptly fell face-down, still wrapped in her towel.
 
“Babe,” Suigetsu’s disembodied voice spoke. “Sit up. Your hair is dripping
everywhere.”
 
Karin mumbled something into her pillow.
 
“Come again?”
 
This time, she spoke her words with a lewd hand gesture. Suigetsu frowned and
approached her, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her up. “Leave me
alone,” she whined, letting her head fall against his hip.
 
“Arms up,” he instructed. She followed along like a petulant child, allowing
him to pull a shirt down over her. “Put these on.” He handed her a pair of
loose-fitting pants, which she pulled on with reluctance. He took the towel
from her and wrapped her hair in it, trying to squeeze out the excess water.
 
“Sui, just let me sleep.”
 
“One more minute, and you can sleep as long as you want. Promise.”
 
“You’re lying. I have to check on Sakura and Sarada in a few hours.”
 
“Can’t believe he named that fucking baby Salad,” Suigetsu grumbled as he used
friction to dry her hair a little further.
 
“Not your baby, not your choice.”
 
“Babe.  Salad .”
 
“Let it go, Suigetsu.”
 
“Fine, fine. I’m just sayin’.” He tossed the towel in the general direction of
the hamper before going to find clothes for himself. “Man, who’d’a thought
Sasuke had a paternal side to him?”
 
Karin made a noise of agreement, already nestled beneath the blankets. Suigetsu
lay down beside her and pulled her against him.
 
“You did good in there, babe. I’m proud of you.”
 
“Thanks,” Karin murmured.
 
“I mean it. It was really impressive, how you took charge and got everything
done.” Suigetsu paused when he heard how deep and even Karin’s breathing had
become. He shook his head before relaxing beside her. There would be plenty of
time to talk later on. For now, they needed sleep.
 
===============================================================================
 
It was far too soon when Juugo came to wake Karin up, but she forced herself
back out of bed nonetheless. Suigetsu was out cold, and she decided that she
didn’t have enough energy to spare in convincing him to get up. She put on her
house shoes and left her room, closing the door quietly behind her. As she
walked, she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame it somewhat. She
stifled a yawn before entering the room where Sakura had been relocated.
 
Both she and the baby were asleep, the newborn lying on her chest as she dozed.
That was a good sign. Both mother and child needed a substantial amount of
rest. Karin slipped through the door, trying to make as little noise as she
possibly could.
 
“Everything okay?”
 
Karin jumped and gave a small gasp, caught off guard by the words. She could
sense that Sasuke was in the room, but she’d assumed that he’d be asleep as
well. Once her body calmed back down, she nodded. “Just checking in. I’ll be in
and out every couple of hours to make sure that they’re doing well.” She turned
back to the sleeping figures, making notes on a nearby clipboard. The only
sound was that of her pen scratching across paper and the heavy breathing of
restful sleep.
 
Sasuke leaned forward in his chair, placing his forearm on his knees to prop
himself up. “Karin?”
 
“Hm?” The redhead adjusted her glasses and looked at him over her shoulder.
 
“Thank you.”
 
She blinked a few times, processing the words she hadn’t expected to hear.
Despite herself, she smiled. “You’re welcome.” It was nothing but the truth
when she said, “I’m happy you were able to make it here. I hate to think what
would have happened if you were stuck on the road.”
 
Silence fell. Eventually, Sasuke’s curiosity got the best of him. “Where did
you go?”
 
Karin smirked, focusing on her notes. “Somewhere therapeutic. I’d be far away
from here if Juugo hadn’t showed up.”
“With Suigetsu, I assume?”
 
“That’s neither here nor there, now is it?”
 
“I guess not.”
 
Karin drummed the cap of her pen against the clipboard, trying to decide
whether or not she should say what was on her mind. She steeled her nerves and
told herself that it was now or never. The person that she wanted to become
would speak up. And, so, she did. “Sakura and Sarada need you, Sasuke. They
deserve better than what you’ve been giving. Don’t let your obsessive
personality get in the way of that. Because if I  ever  find out you’ve been
using them or treating them the way you treated us, I will hunt you down.” Her
eyes flashed. Logically, she knew that she’d never stand a chance against
Sasuke in a fight, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try. Sakura could handle
herself, but it broke her heart to think of Sarada being treated poorly or
neglected.
 
“What are you trying to say?” Sasuke challenged, standing up. He had several
inches on her, but she refused to be intimidated by his larger build.
 
“I’m saying that they’re not a means to an end. You don’t get to walk away from
this, not like you did with us. Your  daughter  deserves better.” Karin hissed,
standing her ground. “If those two can’t be the most important things in your
life, walk away. Because if you treat them the way you treated us, with
manipulation and false hope, they’d be better without you.”
 
“What makes you think you can talk to me this way?”
 
Karin squared her shoulders. Her fingers reached up to the collar of her tee-
shirt, pulling it down just enough to show the top of the irregular scar that
reached its edge at her collar bones. Sasuke’s eyes narrowed in recognition. He
didn’t feel guilty; she could see it on his face. He did, however, acknowledge
that she had a point. Her index finger extended and tapped the silvery skin.
“Experience,” she said flatly, her lips drawing thin.
 
“I was a different person, then.”
 
“I hope so.” Truly, she did. For Sakura and Sarada’s sake, she hoped that the
Sasuke who had fought Danzo was gone forever.
 
“What do you want from me, Karin?” he narrowed his eyes.
 
“Nothing.” The truth of that single word took her aback. “I don’t want a damn
thing from you anymore. But, they do, and I’ll be damned if you break that
child’s heart. Do we understand one another?”
 
“I don’t need you to tell me how to care for my family,” Sasuke snapped,
growing impatient.
 
“Of course not,” Karin deferred with a heavy tone that implied her skepticism.
She capped her pen and set it down on top of the clipboard, which was placed on
the nearby table. Turning her back on Sasuke, she walked out of the room with
her head held high. Whether or not he thought about what she’d said was none of
her concern. “I’ll be back in four hours.”
***** Chapter 33 *****
Chapter Notes
     And I was never looking for approval from anyone but you
     And though this journey is over I'll go back if you ask me to
     I'm not dead just floating
     Right between the ink of your tattoo
     In the belly of the beast we turned into
     I'm not scared just changing
     Right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile
     You're my crack of sunlight
     - P!nk, "I'm Not Dead"
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Knock, knock,” Kabuto spoke rather than perform the action against the open
door to Karin’s lab. She stood at the counter, focused intently on a file she
was filling out. It contained all of Sarada’s relevant medical information, and
she was transcribing a copy for Sakura to bring with her back to the Hidden
Leaf. For a newborn, a complete medical record would be exceptionally handy to
have on file at the hospital. Some details, Sakura would have no way of knowing
or remembering without a hard copy.
 
“Can I help you?” Karin drawled, not looking up from her work.
 
Kabuto took a step into the room. “I hear that you plan to travel with Sakura
and Sasuke back to the Hidden Leaf.”
 
“They need an escort,” Karin responded. “It might as well be me.” It would only
delay their journey by a few days. Suigetsu had readily agreed to the
arrangement, secretly pleased that he would get to spend some more time with
the newest Uchiha.
 
“I’ll be making my way back to the orphanage around that time. I can join you
for the first leg, at least.”
 
“That won’t be necessary.”  Or welcome .
 
“It’d be no trouble at all. In fact, I’d be honored if you would come to visit
the orphanage I run. We’re looking for a few more caretakers, and we could
really benefit from a medic.”
 
“Just drop the fucking act, already, Kabuto,” Karin spat, red eyes blazing.
“It’s patronizing. Tell me what you really want to say. I don’t have time to
play your games.”
 
Kabuto scowled, but soon composed himself. He nudged his glasses back into
place as he cleared his throat. “Very well. If that’s the case, then, surely
you’re not so naive as to believe this… whatever you wish to call it... will
end well for you. As idealistic as your little house by the sea might seem, we
both know that you crave more than that.”
 
“Do we?” she retorted.
 
“You need a challenge, Karin. That life, that imbecile, can’t provide you with
that.”
 
“Let me guess; you can.”
 
“I’ve always been able to.”
 
“Is that what you’re calling it? Emotionally and physically abusing and
manipulating a teenager was supposed to be a challenge for me? I suppose that
trying to earn your approval was my reward?” Karin clenched her fists so hard
that her fingernails broke through her skin. “I’m not fourteen anymore, you
bastard. In fact, I’m as old as you were back then; do you realize how fucking
sick  you are? I was a goddamned  child , you sadist. That’s not an
intellectual challenge. It’s disgusting.”
 
“That’s not what you said before.”
 
“Oh, my god, do you hear yourself?” she laughed bitterly.
 
“You had potential.”
 
“You took advantage of me!”
 
“Calm down, Karin.” He extended a hand toward her shoulder.
 
She slapped it forcefully away. “Don’t you fucking  dare  touch me!”
 
The only sound for several seconds was that of Karin’s heavy breathing. Kabuto
leaned back, as though he couldn’t understand what was being said. Karin felt
like she was going to be sick, but she powered through. She had to. She refused
to let him see her weak.
 
“Get out.”
 
“Karin-”
 
“Get the  fuck  out of  my lab ! The next time I see you, it had better be in
hell.” Karin grabbed him by the front of his cloak and threw him out the door,
slamming it in his face and locking it for good measure. Her hands clutched the
doorknob until she heard his footsteps receding. Only when she could sense he
was gone did she turn her back to the door, sliding down it and onto the floor.
She bit down on her fist and let herself cry as anger, resentment, and relief
washed over her.
 
Her shoulders shook as she drew her knees in to her chest. As the adrenaline
faded, she felt everything she’d repressed for the sake of the argument she’d
just made. That was, by far, one of the most terrifying things she’d done in
her entire life. Shock hung over her at the thought; she’d actually done it. It
wasn’t a fantasy or a dream. She stood her ground against the man that made her
life hell, and not only did she make it through, she told him exactly what she
thought.
 
God, it felt good to be free.
 
Tears fell freely from her eyes as she let herself sit and  feel . All those
years spent keeping herself numb, raising walls to protect herself… It would be
a long time until she was completely rid of those personal blocks, but now she
knew she was  strong enough . She’d made it past basic survival. She’d stood on
her own two feet and defended her humanity and pride. She’d cried out against
the injustices she’d suffered, but unlike in her dreams, she had a voice. She
wasn’t powerless.
 
She cried until she couldn’t anymore, trying to process everything that had
happened over the last few days. Her world had changed so drastically. She’d
never dared to imagine that her life could be this way. Now that she was here,
she was terrified. Her whole life, she’d carried some burden or another. She’d
assumed that she’d spend the rest of her life doing so. But now…
 
Karin sniffed and dried her eyes with the palms of her hands. Her body was
exhausted, but her mind was racing. She was safe here, in her lab, shut away
from the rest of the world. She wasn’t quite ready to face anyone yet, and so
she sat down in her plush desk chair. Deep breath in, deep breath out. The
cycle was repeated ad nauseum until her heart rate finally settled. Her head
was pounding with the beginning of a migraine, but she couldn’t bring herself
to focus too long on the throbbing against her skull. Everything was
overwhelming. Her body was sending a thousand signals, and her mind couldn’t
process them all. The sensory overload should have worried her, but she was too
fatigued to bother.
 
She needed to check on Sakura and Sarada. Now that it had been a few days, she
really only needed to check in once or twice a day. Preferring to keep a
schedule, it was just around the usual hour for her to do so. It wouldn’t be
long before Sarada was healthy enough to travel the rest of the way home; under
the care of her mother, perhaps the most skilled medic in the shinobi world,
she would undoubtedly make it there in excellent condition. Both mother and
baby were coming along extremely well, much to Karin’s relief. She smiled to
herself as she thought about the infant, whose large, black eyes were
mesmerizing to anyone who held her. Lately, Suigetsu had been particularly
loathe to give her up. Much to Sasuke’s annoyance, he’d dubbed himself her
godfather, and Sakura wouldn’t tell him otherwise.
 
Karin took off her glasses and rubbed her itchy, tired eyes. There was still
work to be done, and she needed to be the one to do it.
 
Some things never changed.
 
===============================================================================
 
With Sarada, it was slow going back to the Hidden Leaf Village. Running was out
of the question, and a walking pace almost doubled the amount of time the small
group spent on the road. Added breaks for nursing only furthered the delay.
And, yet, none out of the four complained. Sarada would occasionally give voice
to her displeasure, as infants do, but she was a relatively easy child to
soothe.
 
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Sakura inquired for the hundredth time
when the gates of Konoha were visible on the horizon. “I’m sure Kakashi-sensei
would be willing to accept you as Leaf shinobi.”
 
“We’re sure,” Karin insisted, smiling nonetheless.
 
“Yeah, we’ve done the hidden village life,” Suigetsu added. “Look how well that
turned out.” He snorted in amusement.
 
“But Konoha isn’t like the Hidden Grass or Hidden Mist,” Sakura began to
protest.
 
“Let it go, Sakura.” Sasuke placed a hand on her shoulder. “They’ve made up
their minds.”
 
Sakura sighed, aware that she was fighting a losing battle. “You’ll visit,
right?”
 
“If Orochimaru calls on us, we’ll be sure to make a stop,” Karin promised. She
had a feeling that they were far from done with the sannin. Her liberty would
surely come with a price sooner or later, when he saw fit to make a request of
her. It was only a matter of time, really. However, that was a problem for the
future, and one she didn’t care to think too long about.
 
“Looks like you’ve got a welcoming committee,” Suigetsu quipped, pointing down
the road at an approaching figure.
 
“Oh, for the love of-” Sakura turned her body to shield Sarada from the
incoming form, which showed no signs of stopping.
 
“Sakura! Sasuke!” Naruto cried, waving a hand over his head. In a flash, Sasuke
headed him off, catching Naruto’s upper arm with his hand. The blonde shinobi
lost his balance but quickly regained his footing. “I was starting to think you
guys weren’t coming back!”
 
“Naruto! Volume,” Sakura scolded. Sarada had begun to cry at the loud outburst,
and her mother was bouncing and rocking her in an attempt to smoothe.
 
Naruto blinked. “That’s a baby.”
 
“No shit,” Sakura snapped.
 
“Why do you have a baby?”
 
Suigetsu grinned toothily. “When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much-
”
 
Karin slammed her fist onto the top of his head. “Shut up, you troll!”
 
Sarada, who had witnessed Suigetsu’s misfortune, began to laugh. She extended
her arms, opening and closing her fists.
 
Suigetsu took a few steps so that he could lean over to the baby. “I’m gonna
miss the shit out of you, kid. Be good for your mom, okay? Do whatever you want
to your dad, I don’t care. Remember, if anybody fucks with you, you just tell
‘em your godfather has a big-ass sword and can kill ‘em in their sleep.”
 
“Don’t talk to a child that way,” Karin scolded.
 
“Wait,  he’s  the godfather?!” Naruto nearly shrieked at Sasuke, looking
completely heartbroken.
 
“Idiot,” Sasuke grumbled.
 
Karin approached Sakura and embraced her. “You know where to find us,” she
reminded the other woman. “But keep it quiet.”
 
“I know.” Sakura smiled. “Thank you, again. For everything.”
 
Karin leaned down to press a kiss to Sarada’s forehead. When she straightened
up, she made eye contact with Sasuke, who was watching the exchange. To him,
she simply nodded, and he returned the gesture.
 
“Are you sure you won’t stay the night?” Sakura asked with a hopeful look in
her eyes.
 
“We still have half a day,” Karin countered. “It’d be better to make progress.”
 
“Take care.”
 
“You too.”
 
Suigetsu was the first to move, and Karin followed almost instantly. The pair,
now able to move at a run, traveled in silence until the Village Hidden in the
Leaves was far behind them. Even with half a day, they were able to make
substantial progress toward Wind country. Their travel would still take the
better part of a week, but they were finally on the move. Their only
destination was home, and nothing else stood in their way.
 
As they made camp under the full moon, Suigetsu smiled to himself almost
continuously. Eventually, Karin caved and asked “What’s got you so happy?”
 
“Just thinkin’,” came his response. He leaned forward and poked the burning
logs with a stick, shifting them so that the heat could spread better and feed
the fire. “It’s almost been a year, you know. It’s batshit, when you think
about it.”
 
“That’s one way to put it.”
 
“What’d’ya think everybody’s gonna say when we show back up?”
 
Karin shrugged. “Odds are, we’ll get chewed out for leaving without telling
anyone. We need to come up with a good excuse for that. But, after that, I hope
they’ll be happy.”
 
“I know I’ll be.”
 
Several moments passed in thought before Karin asked, “Sui? Where do we go from
here?”
 
“Anywhere you want, babe.”
Chapter End Notes
     Oh, my god, you guys. Thank you so much for going on this journey
     with me. I don't even know what to say other than that. I can't
     believe we made it here. Honestly, I'm at a loss for words. Thank
     you, again and again.
     Be on the lookout for the epilogue.
End Notes
     This story is difficult to write. I'd appreciate any comments on it!
     Please consider Buying_Me_a_Coffee
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