Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/8949196. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: F/F, F/M Fandom: Inside_Out_(2015) Relationship: Riley/Original_Female_Character, Riley/Original_Male_Character, Riley/ Original_Male_Dog Character: Riley_Andersen, Sadness_(Inside_Out), Joy_(Inside_Out), Original_Emotion Character Additional Tags: Bestiality, Scat, Watersports, Childhood_Sexual_Abuse, Dead_Dove:_Do_Not Eat, The_F/F_content_is_consensual, Crueltide, Puppy_Play Collections: Yuletide_Madness_2016 Stats: Published: 2016-12-22 Words: 3249 ****** Locked Into Place ****** by catandmouse Summary Something jolts a flash of an old memory loose, and Sadness decides it's time to reveal to Riley what she repressed many years ago. Riley remembers her neighbor sexually abusing her. Notes Please pay attention to the tags and the summary. While this story ends with a note of hope, it is a dark story for a dark prompt. If you clicked this hoping for a happy Inside Out Yuletide story and just skimmed the tags, please read the tags now and then decide whether to read on. I've had this prompt stuck in my head for a year, and when I saw another person was going for it, I decided that I could get it out of my head too. Kudos to notearchiver for a truly haunting idea. The original prompt: "04) If you want to go in the angst (and/or crueltide) direction: Rather than a fic where the plot takes place during the movie, I'm interested in the life of Sadness before and/or after the movie. Perhaps Sadness hides secrets that Joy (and Riley) can't know. We know from the movie that Joy has experiences Sadness doesn't have, so why shouldn't that work the other way as well? Sadness is an autonomous person (emotion?) and can make her own choices about what to let Joy know or not. It's very possible that Sadness actually hides some experiences on purpose. If we acknowledge the supposition that Sadness can hold memories that Riley doesn't remember/Joy doesn't see, what happens when Joy finds out about them? Does she find out about them because Sadness can't keep them a secret anymore? Do Sadness's memories, the ones she's hidden where Joy can't find them, start to spontaneously leak? Does Joy bring them up on the projector? And what happens if Riley starts to remember? And perhaps you can see where I'm going with this...What if the memories are of sexual abuse? Physical abuse? Did Sadness take them so Riley (and Joy) wouldn't have to see them? Basically, give me all the childhood abuse (sexual or otherwise). Make it as graphic as you want. Have Sadness knowing about it. Holding those memories. Or maybe just really ruin Riley's childhood in any way possible. It doesn't have to be some brilliant plot. Just go all out for it. (Remember, for this type of fic you can include any of the sexual DNWs you want to. There are no limits, no hard "no- s" for this type of fic.)" Hey, mom. Going to Kayla's after practice, Riley texted. She grinned as she put her phone away. Kayla had promised a big surprise in honor of Riley's upcoming fifteenth birthday and Riley couldn't wait to see what it was. When they'd made it to Kayla's bedroom (and Kayla firmly shut the door), Riley asked, "Okay! Tell me what it is already." "I will, I will!" Kayla laughed at her eagerness. "My older sister was visiting last week, and I talked to her and she helped me buy some things." Kayla reached under her bed and slid a black box out. She opened it, removing a velvet bag. "I want to use this on you." She slid out a long glass dildo, a string of bulges shot with red. Kayla blushed a little. "If that's okay." Yes, you can!shouted Lust inside Riley's head. She exchanged a hug with Joy, who had come down firmly on the side of Riley having more sex after her second time with Kayla. (The first was best left deep in the archives.) Riley simply nodded, a whole tribe of butterflies settling her in her stomach. It was amazing how in the game she felt tough and confident, but here with her best friend she felt nervous. Soon those butterflies faded as the two girls made out, pulling off each other's field hockey uniforms to better touch. Kayla softly kissed Riley's small breasts, gently sucking one small nipple. She bit it, ever so lightly, making Riley gasp. Kayla knew how sensitive her nipples were and rarely missed an opportunity to play with them. But she didn't lavish much attention on them before she moved down Riley's body to lick her pussy in short, teasing strokes. Riley squirmed. "Please, Kayla," she begged. Kayla stopped and pulled away, watching in amusement as Riley's hips twisted helplessly. "Please what?" she asked. "Harder!" Riley said, as emphatically as she could, being rather out of breath. "Do you want my tongue?" Kayla asked. She hefted Riley's present with one hand, trailing the cool glass along Riley's body. "Or do you want your present?" Riley didn't hesitate. "My present," she said. Kayla pouted at her. "You can do better than that. This was expensive, you know. I've got to keep my boo happy. She's a hard girl to keep up with on the field, and even harder once you get her clothes off." She slid the smooth head up and down Riley's entrance, just brushing her clit with each upstroke. "Please fuck me, Kayla," Riley pleaded. "I need it so bad. You teased me all day at school and then through practice and let's face it, I'm better at scoring goals than begging." She spread her legs wider. "So help me score." "Good point, frosh," Kayla said. She guided the dildo in carefully. She'd stretched Riley open on her fingers before, filling her until Riley came apart, but it was different with the toy. She couldn't feel as much, and she didn't want to go too fast and hurt Riley, no matter how much Riley tried to force her hand by tilting her hips to take it in deeper. The first little bulge went in easy enough, as did the second. By the fourth, Riley was really stretching open, her inner walls clinging to the pleasurable invader. A flash of a memory went through her head, grass beneath her knees and something heavy on her back. What was that?Joy asked. Unnoticed behind her, Sadness ran off to check on something. "Stop, stop!" Riley said. Not playfully, as she did sometimes, but shrill and scared. "Okay, okay," Kayla said, confused. She let go of the dildo, then asked, "Should I take this out of you?" "Yeah," Riley said, after a moment of thought. Kayla drew it out carefully. "Sorry," she said. "I thought this would be fun. I didn't mean to—" "No, I liked it," said Riley. "I really liked it. You know how sometimes a random gross thought pops up into your head? I just—I feel too weird to have sex right now." Kayla nodded, clearly not quite understanding but not pushing it either. "We're cool, then? You're okay?" "I'm okay," Riley said. "Just ... not gonna be in the mood for at least the next hour. I'm gonna shower and go home, all right?" "No prob. See you in school on Monday." Kayla hesitated. "Call me if you want to talk." "Don't worry," Riley said, laughing to show just how fine she was as she gathered up her fallen clothes. =============================================================================== After Riley fell asleep, Sadness snuck up to the projector. She'd asked Disgust to distract Joy with a discussion of whether they liked it when Kayla called Riley a slut or not. They'd had the argument before, and it mostly involved them very vociferously not saying that they were in favor of it. She pulled out one of the memories she'd been saving for almost ten years, and slid it into place. If Riley had accessed it on her own, maybe it was time for her to have it back and remember what happened. =============================================================================== Riley woke up in the middle of the night due to a nightmare. A nightmare, that's all it was. Unable to sleep anyway, she booted her computer. On Facebook, she entered the name of a half forgotten neighbor and stared at the face in from her nightmare. Randomly firing synapses. That's all it was. Not some invisible hand guiding her to the truth. Riley stumbled to the bathroom to splash water on her face. Everyone said she'd feel weird things as she got older. These sorts of nightmares were definitely normal. She was all messed up from whatever went wrong with the sex with Kayla. That's all. She stared at her wet face in the mirror, and could almost see her brain whirring behind her eyes to convince herself nothing was wrong. =============================================================================== The first memory was this: Riley was playing by herself in the park down the street from her house. She was a big girl now and big girls shouldn't have to stay in the backyard. Besides, Bing Bong was with her. When the world's most adorable puppy ran up to her, she knew she'd made the right decision. He had floppy ears and big paws and already knew how to play fetch. After a few rounds Riley chased the stick herself and rolled around just like the puppy. A man ran up to them. Riley shrank back and looked at him from around a slide. "Didn't mean to startle you," he said, friendly. "My puppy got out of the backyard." "He's your puppy?" Riley asked. The man nodded. "Would you like to meet his parents?" he asked. Riley beamed at him and nodded enthusiastically. More doggies! As they walked, the man asked her, "Were you having fun playing with Buster?" "Yeah! I pretended I was a puppy too!" The man laughed. "Sounds like a fun time! You can feel free to play puppy with Buster any time. He's a handful, and I could use a helper." When Riley was tired he walked her home and explained to her mother that she'd help him take care of his puppy. After he left, Riley begged and begged to be allowed to go over again. Her mom agreed, but said, "I don't want you going into his house." "Why not?" "Because little girls shouldn't go into strange men's houses, that's why." Riley pouted. "I'm not a little girl! I'm a big girl!" Her mom laughed, all worry gone. She tickled Riley until she was shrieking with laughter. "You'll always be my little girl," she said, voice warm with love. =============================================================================== The second memory is this: Every time she came over, the man offered Riley a snack of Honey Nut Cheerios, her favorite cereal. One day he put her bowl on the ground instead of handing it to her. "Maybe you could eat it like Buster," he said. Mr. Whitman was definitely the best of all their neighbors. He had fun ideas. Riley eagerly got down to all fours and ate with her face in the bowl. Cheerios scattered everywhere, and Buster ate the stray ones. "Good doggy!" Mr. Whitman said. =============================================================================== There are other memories, stretching over the year. One memorable time, Riley needed to use the bathroom. She wiggled and wiggled, pressing her thighs together to help hold it in. When she just couldn't hold it any more, she walked over to Mr. Whitman and mumbled, "I need to go potty." "What?" he asked, and she had to repeat the shameful words. A mischievous grin crossed his face. "How do puppies go potty?" Riley knew. She pulled off her cotton shorts and panties, and peed right there on Mr. Whitman's lawn. She giggled. She was being naughty, and right in front of an adult! "I think that's how you should go potty from now on when you're over here," Mr. Whitman said. "It sets a good example for Buster to know that puppies aren't allowed to pee inside." Joy was laughing up a storm at the console. How fun Mr. Whitman was! =============================================================================== Some memories blended together. At some point Mr. Whitman started offering Riley kibble instead of Cheerios. She didn't eat as much of it, but it made it easier to pretend. It wasn't the only thing she ate, not after what she saw one afternoon. Peanut, Buster's mom, pooped near the flower bed. Riley looked away slightly, as she always did. It's gross, Disgust said, smacking her tongue out. But then she followed Buster and he ran right toward the poop, eating it up! "Ew," she squealed with delight. "Puppies do that to get more nutrients," Mr. Whitman said. It was cool, how he always knew things. "Do you want to try?" "No," Riley said, making the exact same face Disgust had. "That's fine," Mr. Whitman said, as accepting as always. "You act like a tomboy most of the time, so I forget what a girly girl you really are." "I'm not a girly girl!" Riley stomped her foot to show how offended she was. That's right! Anger said, pumping his fist. "I'll do it," she said, eager to meet the challenge. Atta girl! Mr. Whitman stood up and surveyed the lawn. "Looks like I'll have to help you out," he said. "My poop will have more of the nutrients you need anyway." It tasted gross, and stuck in her teeth, but Riley ate it all to prove that she was nota girly girl. And it wasn't too bad, because when she was done Buster licked the mess off her face with his little doggy kisses. She even did it a few more times on those lazy afternoons, when Mr. Whitman looked over at her and shyly said, "Hey, I've really got to go. I don't want to leave you unsupervised. Do you need a vitamin treat?" Riley knew how important it was to get her vitamins. Her parents were always telling her so. In fact, one day she felt guilty because she hadn't been eating the new vitamins her mom bought because they tasted yucky. That time she asked Mr. Whitman for his vitamins. =============================================================================== Some memories stood out. She'd opened the latch to walk into Mr. Whitman's back yard, and there was Blackie humping Peanut. "What's Blackie doing?" she asked. "He's showing Peanut how much he loves her. He's telling Peanut that she's the only bitch for him." "You said a bad word!" Riley hissed, scandalized. "Oh, no, it's only a bad word sometimes. Bitch is also a name for a female dog. You're a little bitch too, Riley." He grinned sheepishly. "But maybe don't tell your mom I taught you that word. It's our secret, okay?" "Pinky swear!" cried Riley, holding out her pinky. Joy thrilled about the console. She loved secrets! But Sadness frowned in the corner. She didn't like Mr. Whitman, no matter what Joy said. =============================================================================== Riley kept waking up, night after night, haunted by the weird dreams. No, nightmares. Nightmares, that's all. She'd do push-ups in the middle of the night to chase away the persistent thoughts, the lingering hint of something at the center of those nightmares that left her with tears on her face. I don't rememberthat,said Disgust one night. Her face was twisted, and Sadness worried that it might stick that way. I don't, either,said Joy, staring wide-eyed at the memories playing in Riley's mind. Lust pulled Sadness aside. These memories are upsetting, right? she asked. Sadness nodded. She'd been too hasty and ruined everything she'd tried so hard to protect, hadn't she? Lust hesitantly grabbed Sadness's hand and guided it up the short skirt she wore, to touch the wetness there. Riley doesn't like this man and how he treats her in these dreams, she said. But I think she wants Kayla to do some of the things he does ... In the locker room, where any of their teammates could walk in on them. Maybe join in ... her voice trailed off. Did I do this to Riley? I know none of you liked me at first, but it got better once I figured out not to try to take control during class. Or games. Or, well, you remember. Am I screwing this up? Sadness hugged her, letting Lust's anxiety flow into her. This happened long before you showedup, she reassure Lust quietly. She couldn't quite look the other emotion in the eye. But maybe you can make it better. It doesn't make Riley sad, what she does with Kayla. So that's a good thing.She looked out at the core memories, each island still strong although clouds brewed above them. Not everything is tainted. =============================================================================== This is how the first time happened: "Why doesn't Buster love me?" Riley asked Mr. Whitman. He sat down the book he'd been reading while she frolicked in the yard. He looked concerned. "Buster loves you, Riley! Why would you think he doesn't?" "He doesn't show it to me," Riley said, trying to make Mr. Whitman understand. "He hasn't made me his bitch." Mr. Whitman nodded gravely. "I understand. Buster is just a puppy, like you. If you want to do this, both of you need my help. Do you really want this?" "Yes," Riley said, her head bobbing like a spring. "I want Buster to love me." Mr. Whitman went into the house and came out with some slippery liquid. That day, he worked two of his fingers into Riley's puss-puss and told her she'd need to take at least four before she could be Buster's bitch. It became their project that week. Finally, Mr. Whitman said she was ready. Riley thought she'd been ready ages ago. She took off all her clothes and knelt in the yard. Mr. Whitman draped a blanket over her back. "Buster would feel just terrible if he accidentally scratched you," he said. Buster felt heavier on her back than when they were wrestling. His thing stabbed awkwardly into her, but she refused to admit she didn't like it. She'd begged for it and Mr. Whitman tried to talk her out of it and she couldn't let him know he was right. Adults always thought they were right. But she still started sniffling when Buster's thing got bigger insider her. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" Mr. Whitman asked. "I think he's knotted you." He smiled and petted her head. "I didn't warn you because I didn't think he was old enough to do that you. He's a big boy! And you're taking it like a big girl." Riley felt the same warm glow she always felt when someone called her a big girl and it helped her feel better. "Wow, Buster is really taking awhile! He must like you a lot. You're a good bitch, Riley." Riley wriggled with pleasure as best she could with Buster stuck to her. She was a good doggy, wasn't she? After that, Buster would try to hump her most days when she showed up. She resisted at first, but she couldn't stand to see Buster sad. He'd whine at her and she'd give in to her best friend. It got easier, and eventually the first thing Riley did when she got to Mr. Whitman's was take off her clothes and get down on her knees. Eventually, she asked Mr. Whitman if he loved her too. He said that of course he did, and hugged her close. Shyly, she asked to be his bitch too, if Buster wouldn't mind. Mr. Whitman assured her that he wouldn't, and he didn't seem to, as long as Mr. Whitman went after her. The main difference was that Mr. Whitman liked her to bark while he loved her. He always seemed more excited the more she managed to act like a puppy. =============================================================================== Here's how it ended: Riley entered Kindergarten. She made friends. One day, she humped her best friend Carly. She didn't take off her clothes or anything, just made the invitation. The teacher pulled her away and asked her where she'd learned that. She said, "I saw Mr. Whitman's dogs doing it and he told me they were showing how they loved each other. I wanted to show Carly I loved her." "That's not how little girls show each other love," the teacher said. "I think I need to call your parents." Riley pouted. She was a big girl! That night her parents called Mr. Whitman, and asked him to be more careful about how he explained things to Riley. They appreciated that he hadn't explained sex to her, of course, but. The next time Riley went over Mr. Whitman said it was probably best for her to go on back home. He didn't want to get her in trouble again. Riley schemed on how to get back her blissful afternoons, and Joy fed her all her brightest memories of Buster, eager to help Riley return to her happy place. But Sadness felt what Joy ignored. Those twinges when both her teacher and parents made what she'd done sound like a bad thing. How shocked they'd been, how emphatic that it was wrong. It hurt, that something she loved was wrong. And it would hurt more if it didn't stop. So Sadness stole the memories and tucked them away. Joy forgot too, and Disgust, and Anger. Only Sadness remembered. And when it was time, when Riley understood what that wrong feeling was, she'd return the memories. =============================================================================== Riley woke crying for the last time. She knew these weren't simply nightmares; she's always known, hadn't she? Once more she turned to her computer, writing down everything she could remember. Getting smacked with a newspaper, rolling around in the grass laughing, she wrote it all, good bad scary fun nightmare memories. She saved and printed. Paper felt more permanent, more real. Even if she chickened out in the morning, couldn't find the right words, there would be this. Even if she wanted to retreat into herself like she sometimes did, she had the record right there in black and white. The writing wouldn't change on her. Emptied for now, Riley went back to bed. For the first time in awhile, she fell back to sleep within minutes. Meanwhile, Lust loaded up a new sphere in the console, replacing Riley's threatening dreams with the half-formed fantasy she'd rescued from her bad memories: Kayla pulling her into her lap, and petting her until she fell asleep. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!