Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12480768.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      방탄소년단_|_Bangtan_Boys_|_BTS
  Relationship:
      Min_Yoongi_|_Suga/Park_Jimin
  Character:
      Min_Yoongi_|_Suga, Park_Jimin_(BTS)
  Additional Tags:
      Drug_Abuse, Recreational_Drug_Use, Self-Medication, Drug_Dealer_Yoongi,
      Student_Park_Jimin, Implied/Referenced_Abuse, Homophobia, Angst_with_a
      Happy_Ending, Anxiety, Mildly_Dubious_Consent, Blow_Jobs, Anal_Fingering,
      Anal_Sex, Drug-Induced_Sex, Homophobic_Language, Porn_With_Plot
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-10-24 Words: 3531
****** Little White Vice ******
by 천사_유산_(casdeanchronicles)
Summary
     Min Yoongi just wanted to help Jimin deal with the anxiety caused by
     the abusive life he'd left behind to move in with him. His methods
     were typical of a man like him and he was to learn that lesson the
     hard way, and fall for his younger friend hard at the same time.
     -----
     [in which Yoongi medicates Jimin and it doesn't end well, roommates
     to lovers]
     Angsty Plot with some smut peppered in there.
     Trigger Warning for self medication/ drug over-dose/ past physical
     abuse/and dubious consent
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
The first time Yoongi gave him one of the pills he hadn't really thought twice
about it, the younger man had a big exam and he was quaking with fear, almost
inconsolable. He'd offered him one of the little white pills from his own
supply, said it would calm him down and settle his nerves.
He'd watched him place it in his mouth hesitantly and swallow it with a gulp of
water, face twisting into a grimace. But a short while later he had calmed
considerably, he did his exam; performed admirably in fact.
It had probably been a week or so since, they were sat on the couch together,
when Jimin looked up at him and asked in a rather small voice if he could have
another.
It didn't phase him, he understood how Jimin felt, he often saw his small hands
shaking, and felt his quick pulse when his hand was pressed into Jimins skin.
It didn't surprise him that Jimin suffered with anxiety. With a father like
his? Before he'd moved in he would often take refuge in Yoongi's apartment.
Lifting his shirt to show the welts on his skin for Yoongi to treat gently.
Being cradled in his arms as he nursed ice to a black eye.
He admired Jimin for getting out, he knew it caused his great pain to be away
from what was left of his family, but he couldn't live like that anymore.
His father hurling curses at his 'fag' son. Yoongi just wanted to help.
So he let Jimin take another of the little pills.
Soon it had become a regular occurrence, when they sat down for breakfast
together before Jimin left for school, he left a pill by his food and a glass
of water, and one or two for himself.
It didn't seem like a lot. Yoongi supplied many people with stuff much harder
than prescription strength benzos. His supplier didn't bat an eye when he asked
for more to be added to his monthly shipments for him to distribute.
Jimin knew that Yoongi was a dealer. He had a regular job too, working at a
cafe a few blocks from their apartment, but that wouldn't pay the rent for a
place like this.
Jimin felt bad taking up room in his home, unable to pay rent himself, as he
was still in school, he'd tried to get a job but Yoongi insisted that his
studies were more important.
He was almost glad. School stressed him out to no end; constant deadlines and
exams and expectations.
Jimin was a smart kid. He could go places -that's what people always told him.
But somehow he didn't think he would. He couldn't even get through an exam
without chemical assistance.
There was no way he could do a stressful job, the type that his father had
wanted him to get.
Jimin liked the way the pills made h feel. At first it was just relief. They
made the sheer panic that bubbled through him and the feeling of suffocating
into something more manageable, just a slight hesitation.
Then he felt light. Like the weight of the world had lifted slightly off his
neat little shoulders.
He returned home one afternoon to an empty apartment, Yoongi must have gone out
on a drop, he was usually there to greet Jimin home.
He found the empty apartment somehow claustrophobic. Suddenly scared that
Yoongi may not return. He rationalised with himself, of course he wouldn't
leave, he was just paranoid.
The thought had mostly left his mind, but the feeling of panic had yet to leave
his body.
His heart still pounded and hands felt numb. He looked over to the kitchen
counter, and saw the little orange pot that held the pills.
He walked over and picked it up gently, he had never gotten one himself. Yoongi
always gave it to him.
The one he'd taken that morning had long since worn off, in fact recently he
noticed that he felt the numbing relief less and less.
He knew it was a tolerance building up from his small dosage. Yoongi certainly
took more than one a day, in fact Jimin had seen him take several in one go.
He felt a desperate need to quell the feeling of fear that still drenched his
body.
Turning the cap slowly he tapped a pill into his palm, eyeing it for a moment,
then another joined it in his cupped hand.
He tipped them up into his mouth and chased it with a sip of water that he
palmed into his mouth.
More quickly than usual he felt the flood of calm he had craved, he wondered if
it was partially psychosomatic but it didn't matter.
He sat to do his homework and waited for Yoongi to return.
He didn't notice at first. That his supply seemed to be going down more quickly
than it should. Jimin had made a habit of sneaking a few more pills behind his
back. He took one with breakfast and then another before he left for school
when Yoongi was in the shower.
He felt bad taking from someone as caring as Yoongi, but he was too scared just
to ask for more.
Yoongi started to see a change in Jimin, he was more quiet these days. He slept
more, choosing to nap in his room over sitting on the couch with him. He
thought it to be the stress of school, there were more exams coming up.
He went to take his nightly dose only to find the tube nearly empty. He could
have sworn there was enough left for a day or two.
"Jesus I really need to get my shit together."
He thought he was going crazy, taking more than he intended.
The idea that Jimin was stealing them didn't even cross his mind.
Jimin crawled into bed with Yoongi that night, he didn't do it often, usually
only when he had nightmares.
He curled into the older boy's side, head tucked into the crook of his neck and
inhaled deeply. They embraced one another and fell asleep like this.
Yoongi had taken the last of the pills the night before, he would get a new lot
in a few days, maybe sooner, he could hold out til then, he wouldn't even
notice if he smoked a joint to himself.
Jimin was agitated when Yoongi said there were no pills for him to take that
morning, it was a Saturday so no school. But he still needed to take the tablet
to feel at ease.
By midday he was bouncing with anxiety, he couldn't keep his leg still as he
tried to work through a sheet of equations. His skin itched slightly, he was
unsettled and a little desperate. He hadn't realised how dependant he had
become.
He wasn't even sure how many was taking in a day. Three? Five? Just as and
when.
He wondered how Yoongi was so unphased until he smelt the familiar scent of pot
drifting into his bedroom.
He didn't smoke everyday but a couple times a week, usually Jimin found the
scent a little unsavoury but now it was enticing.
He hopped off his bed and headed for his room, knocking gently on the door
before walking straight in and sinking under the covers with the skinny man.
"Hey Jiminie, you okay?"
"Mhmm"
Jimin mumbled into his chest before sitting up to look into his deep brown
eyes. The smoke coiled between them and Jimin took the joint from between
Yoongi's fingers without breaking eye contact and pulled on it deeply, trying
to get as much into his lungs as he could.
He held it and then coughed it out unceremoniously, and Yoongi laughed.
"I thought you hated the smoke."
"I do, it's horrid." He said as he took another drag, waiting to feel whatever
it was that weed made you feel, he just hoped it was better than how he felt
now.
They passed it silently between them until it was barely a stump and Yoongi put
it out on his ash tray.
Jimin felt good now. Truly stoned for the first time and it was nice. Except he
had an urge that had become unfamiliar to him.
He reached up to kiss Yoongi gently on the lips.
They'd kissed before. But their relationship was never really intimate. Jimin
had been too scared of that.
That's how he'd been found out, his father burst in on him while he was with
his first boyfriend.
He'd met his father's eye with another boy's cock in his mouth.
That's when the beating truly started. The other boy had been sent away to a
military camp, his father would have done the same if he could have afforded
it, but instead he settled for his own forms of punishment.
Yoongi knew this. He'd accepted chaste kisses from the boy, but expected
nothing more.
But now Jimin was straddling him on the bed mouth placing hot and deep kisses
on his own, and grinding softly into Yoongi's boxers.
"Jimin what are you doing?" He asked sincerely breaking their contact.
"Please, I just want to feel you against me Yoong"
"Jimin you're high, we shouldn't do this now."
"I'm not so high I don't know what I want, and I want you."
His demand was clear as he began pressing harder into him and kissing up his
neck.
He knew he should have stopped him now but he was a little stoned too and god
did Jimin feel good on his neck.
They began to strip down to the skin, touching and caressing one another with
delicate ease as they undressed.
They were both hard despite the effects of the pot. It'd been so long since
Jimin had been like this with another person.
The last time had been the worst day of his life, he thought he would never be
able to look at another man naked.
But he found himself leaning down to take Yoongi in his mouth.
"May I?" He said, looking up at Yoongi and kissing his tip gently.
"You sure?" Jimin just nodded and began to take his length into his mouth,
licking softly around the tip at first, then running his tongue up the
underside and taking it fully in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and sucking
sweetly.
"F-fuck" Yoongi moaned. It had been a while since he'd had a blowjob, he got
plenty of offers, from junkies that hadn't managed to get their funds together.
That disgusted him, but this, he was going to be thinking about this for weeks.
Jimin’s pretty little head bobbing up and down on his cock, taking him all in
like such a pro. He grabbed a handful of his dark hair just for something to
hold onto, and guide him into a steadier pace.
He was almost embarrassed when he realised he was gonna come soon, he tightened
his grip on Jimin as the well of heat began to pool in the bottom of his
stomach.
"Chim, I'm gonna uh-"
Hearing this only spurred Jimin on, he began to jerk the base of his cock too
and play gently at Yoongi's balls with the pad of his thumb.
In moments he was shouting Jimin's name and he came down the back of his
throat, he didn't relent, milking him of the last of his orgasm until he was
almost over sensitive.
"Shit Jimin. That was good."
He sat panting for a moment, the younger boy was looking rather pleased with
himself.
He was tempted to drift off when he realised Jimin's still hard dick lay
between them.
"Hey, want me to do you?"
"You don't have to."
"I want to Chim"
"Okay, just hands though."
For some reason he couldn't face watching Yoongi go down on him like that, not
yet.
Yoongi played with Jimin gently, easing him into a smooth pace, trying to make
him feel safe.
He noticed Jimin's hands made way to his own ass, to toy at his entrance.
"Do you want me to-?"
He left the question hanging and Jimin nodded surely.
He reached over to the beside table and grabbed some lube, not losing his pace
with his other hand. With lubed up fingers he began to press into Jimin's ass.
It was easier than he expected, meaning Jimin touched himself like this often,
that image alone he thought could make him half hard again.
He worked him for a bit before adding another finger, finally pressing in deep,
searching for-
"Ah! Yoongi-ah!" His hips bucked up as Yoongi found his prostate. He went in at
the same angle a few more times to hear the same cry. And before long Jimin was
moaning breathlessly and spurting his come across Yoongi's pale hand and his
stomach.
He cleaned them both up with a flannel and they drifted off to sleep in each
other's warmth.
When Jimin awoke he found he had slept through much of the day, it was mid
afternoon, he never slept this late. Within a few moments on wakefulness he
became very aware that he was shaking and sweating substantially, fully
withdrawing from the meds and without weed to plug the need.
The panic struck without warning and he truly felt like he was dying.
He rushed into the kitchen and almost choked with glee when he saw a fresh
bottle of the little white pills was on the side.
He poured several into his palm and took them dry. He stood waiting for the
feeling to kick in but when he felt nothing he began to panic again.
He had to make up for all the lost doses he thought, he knew this didn't make
sense but to his addled and desperate mind it was the best he could come up
with.
He poured some more into his palm and swallowed hard. He stood at he counter
for a few moments and then suddenly felt dizzy. He felt his legs give way and
was now leant on the counter as the numbness finally began to spread.
His short shift at the café had finished for the day and Yoongi headed back to
his apartment. He planned on taking Jimin out for a meal tonight, he thought he
deserved a rest and a good meal.
He ambled in through the door and called out to Jimin.
There was no reply, it was deathly quiet. And then he noticed the slumped
figure by the kitchen counter.
He rushed over before he could think, to try and wake the frail looking boy
from this state.
The little bottle of pills sat on the kitchen counter above, oozing with guilt.
"Oh shit Jimin. How much did you fucking take." He held up the bottle, there
were much fewer than there had been this morning, it was practically half
empty.
"Shit. Shit, fuck." He cursed under his breath.
When Jimin awoke he was blinded by the clean white light of a hospital wing. He
was disoriented and confused, not quite able to remember why he was here.
"Yoongi-hyung?" He called out to the room, unsure if anyone could hear him.
He heard someone rushing towards him.
"I'm here Jimin-ah" He leant down to the younger man and hugged him, glad to
see him finally awake.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Yoongi."
"It's okay, it's alright Jimin, it's my fault. Not your fault."
"I- I didn't mean to, I just wanted it to go away."
"You'll be okay now you're safe." He held him in a tight embrace for a while
longer.
Tears pricked at his eyes as an incessant guilt overwhelmed him.
He couldn't believe he'd been so naïve, Jimin had been taking more and more and
he hadn't even noticed. He was practically just a kid, Yoongi was meant to look
after him and he'd failed even that.
Choosing to medicate him over real support. Typical fucking druggie. He
thought.
Weaning Jimin off the drugs was a long and arduous process. It would have been
easier but he couldn't afford to send him to a clinic, he couldn't exactly ask
Jimin's parents for money 'sorry I need cash to help your son get off the drugs
I gave him' didn't exactly sound great.
It was painful seeing Jimin like this, at first he'd tried to go cold turkey
and that hadn't ended well.
He wound up shivering and shaking, vomiting uncontrollably and then begging for
Yoongi to let him have a pill.
It had almost turned violent so he decided just to take him down slowly. Five
pills turned to four, then three. Eventually he was back to just one.
He hated it, knowing how calm he could feel was only a few pills away. But he
was shit scared, half that he'd wind up dead, or perhaps worse, Yoongi would
kick him out.
He tried hard to resist the cravings.
Yoongi let him smoke sometimes to ease it, but even then he felt he was being
babied.
Slowly the older boy also reduced his use. Not just the benzos but everything,
less weed, less adderall. Ironic, he thought.
There was an unspoken tension between the two of them.
One that Jimin didn't quite understand.
It was two months later that Jimin first went a whole day without a single
pill.
He felt great, it was mostly just the elation of knowing he'd made Yoongi
proud.
They celebrated that night, with take away and a rented movie.
It was then that Jimin realised
"I love you Yoongi"
The older man was surprised. He hadn't expected something so sure sounding out
of the boy's lips.
He thought for a moment, and it was obvious
"I - I love you too"
He hadn't said those words to anyone other than his mother.
And the weight of them sat heavy on his chest.
Jimin moved to sit over the other man's lap, kissing him gently with his eyes
screwed shut in desperation.
He ground his hips down, rough friction through the layers of cotton and denim
causing his cock to twitch. Yoongi moaned deeply into Jimin’s mouth and Jimin
swallowed it up, feeling him turn to putty beneath him as he lapped and bit at
his pale neck and collar bone.
“Can we take this to the bedroom baby?” Yoongi said in a raspy voice.
“I thought you’d never ask.” His heart had leapt at the words, and he eagerly
stood grabbing him by his delicate wrist and pulling him along to Yoongi’s
bedroom the movie long forgotten played to itself filling the apartment with an
ambient noise.
They weren’t as gentle as they had been the first time, two months of raw
emotion spilling between them as they tore off their clothes.
Yoongi admired Jimin's lithe frame as he reached into the dresser for condoms
and lube. He'd finally returned to his old self, slightly tanned skin and soft
in all the right places, something unfamiliar welled in his chest, and he
thought it might be love.
Both now naked and sprawled on top of the bed sheets enthralled in one another
they kissed, hands revelling in trailing across bare skin.
Lubed finger reached down to Jimin’s entrance and began to work him open with a
gentleness quite in contrast with the sinful movements of his tongue across
Jimin’s sensitive nipples. He was writhing at the sensation murmuring his
pleads through loose lips.
A third finger now entered him and brushed against the sweet spot buried inside
of him he shivered and sighed in lust watching as Yoongi now prepped himself,
gracefully slipping a condom on and lining up with his ass.
Slowly pushing in from tip to base, allowing for Jimin to get used to his size,
until he was begged to move and he began to thrust gently in and out, leaning
down so he could kiss tenderly the soft bitten lips of his beautiful boy. The
pace quickened as the beat of their hearts did, and they were held close now;
Yoongi’s cock barely leaving his ass before it slammed back in again.
Movements less coordinated as they began to edge towards orgasm, he could hear
it in Jimin’s breath as they became more high pitched, his moans more like a
whine.
He felt Jimin’s ass begin to clench repeatedly as he dove into his orgasm, the
sensation was enough to push him towards his own, the sight of streaks of
Jimin’s white cum painting his chest destroyed him and pleasure tore through
his body as he shook and continued to move shallowly in his ass, wringing out
the last of his orgasm.
Quiet invaded the room, only shallow pants exuded from the two spent boys,
caught in a tight sticky embrace, Jimin with a cock still buried in his ass.
Moments passed before Yoongi finally removed himself and settled next to Jimin,
discarding the condom.
“I think you should sleep in here from now on.”
“I like that idea, I never want to share a bed with anyone else.”
Yoongi chuckled “Of course babe, you’re just mine now.”
“Forever?”
“For as long as you want me.”
End Notes
     Thanks for reading! this hasn't been beta'd so I apologise for any
     mistakes.
     I have a thing for drug dealer Yoongi at the moment. I've never
     published smut before so apologies if it reads a little awkwardly.
     I'm finally off my own meds which I guess kind of inspired this, I'm
     aware its not that medically accurate, take it with a pinch of salt.
     Kudos and notes are appreciated!
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