Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/508142.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, No_Archive_Warnings_Apply, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Kingdom_Hearts
  Relationship:
      Riku/Sora, Kairi/Riku/Sora, Axel/Roxas, Demyx/Zexion, Roxas/Sora
  Character:
      Axel_(Kingdom_Hearts), Roxas, Sora_(Kingdom_Hearts), Riku_(Kingdom
      Hearts), Demyx, Zexion, Kairi_(Kingdom_Hearts)
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-09-09 Updated: 2012-09-11 Chapters: 18/? Words: 7968
****** Life's Little Rules ******
by winnerstick
Summary
     A collection of pieces too short to post on their own. Various
     pairings, various situations, some in canon, some au.
Notes
     Akuroku. The sad thing about the whole situation was that Roxas loved
     living.
***** Dirty, Unfair, and Cruel *****
The sad thing about the whole situation was that Roxas loved living.

He had dreams and goals. He wanted to see the world. He looked to the future
and how things would be, while also finding a way to enjoy the present. Roxas
was never in a hurry to get to a destination, he just enjoyed the ride. Every
day he woke with a smile, and every night he fell asleep with that same life.
For him, life was enjoyable. Life was something to cherish. So he cherished
life with every bit of his being.

He didn’t know that his plans would never come to be. He didn’t know that his
life would be cut short too soon.

If it had been any other day, he would have been fine. If he hadn’t been there,
if he had left only a minute later, he would have been okay. But the fact was,
he was there at that exact moment. He had never seen it coming. He died without
even knowing who had killed him.

Axel wasn’t like that. He didn’t look at the world and see the positive. He
only saw things as they were. Dirty, unfair, and cruel. His plans were only to
make it to the next day. Until he met Roxas. He wanted to plan with Roxas. He
wanted to see the world with him. He wanted to get better for the light of his
life.

But he was never given that chance. Because Roxas was taken away from him.

And that was dirty, and unfair, and cruel. 
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel and Roxas, baking.
“That’s not how you do it.”

Roxas looked up at the redheaded man with a glare. “And how would you know?”

“Because I’ve done this before. Here, let me take over.”

“No!”

This was something Roxas was going to do, damn it. How could he mess up
cookies? He was only following the recipe! Yet Axel had been standing over him
(literally, he was a pretty tall guy) the entire time, making comments about
everything. It got to the point where Roxas fucked up the first batch by
pouring way too much vanilla extract in. So he had to start over. And, doggone
it, he was going to do it himself!

So Roxas pushed Axel away. “I can crack some eggs on my own!”

“Yeah, but if you do it that way again, you’ll get the shell in the batter
again, and have to spend another twenty minutes picking it all out. Again.”

“Why can’t you just let me do this by myself?”

Axel shrugged and took hold of Roxas’s hand. Roxas started to pull away, but
once he saw the look on Axel’s face, one full of sincerity, he allowed Axel to
guide his hand. Axel moved Roxas’s fingers and helped him crack the egg on the
edge of the bowl.

“Why are you good at everything?” Roxas asked, frustrated that none of the
shell had gotten in this time. Damn him.

“I’m not. I’ve just cracked an egg before.” 
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel wasn't sure when things had changed between him and Roxas.
Axel wasn’t sure when their movie nights became more frequent and started to
end in sleepovers. Roxas would just show up unannounced with a handful of
movies and maybe a few snacks. He wouldn’t turn the boy away, of course,
because somehow Axel knew when to expect him. He could tell with an almost
eerie accuracy when exactly the younger boy was going to show up. And he was
always around for that. Always.

So they watched movies and sat close and enjoyed each others’ company. And
Roxas almost always fell asleep on the couch, so Axel just stayed with him.
Stayed with him and slept right there, even though he sometimes woke up with
backaches. It was worth it. There was something relaxing about sleeping with
Roxas, even if it was completely innocent. To make up for the backaches,
though, Axel almost always got a warm breakfast.

—

Axel wasn’t sure when he had stopped sleeping around. he hadn’t ever really
been anyone’s definition of a slut, but he definitely had experience in the
field. Usually on Friday nights he picked up a lucky girl and went home with
her, only to leave long before she woke up. It was mean of him, he knew that.
But he couldn’t help it. It was so had to stay and do the awkward shuffle in
the morning, especially when he knew that he didn’t want a relationship.
Instead of dealing with all of that, he left.

But at some point, he had stopped that. Nights when he would usually go out
changed into nights in with his best friends. Movie nights or game nights or
just hang-out-and-talk nights. Those were the nights when he would bare his
soul to Roxas, and Roxas would do the same for him. They could talk about
everything that was on their minds at that current moment. Or they would talk
about nothing in particular. Things had a strange way of working out. Each of
them knew when the other just needed a night to talk about nothing of
importance, and they also knew when the other one needed to get something off
their chest. He didn’t expect to prefer this time over going out and getting
laid.

—

Axel wasn’t sure when his view of relationships changed.

Maybe it was when Roxas poured out to him the details of his last boyfriend.
The one who had been so kind to him at first, then left him in the dust once
someone better came along. They had been together almost a year and friends
even longer. They had grown up together. And while the boy had always been an
asshole, for lack of a better term, to everyone else, he was nice to Roxas.
They had fun together. And Roxas had liked kissing him. But once a new kid came
into town, one that was so much more “interesting” than Roxas, he was dropped
flat on his face. Despite that, Roxas loved relationships. He wanted one. He
thought it was magical to wake up next to someone and know that they were yours
and yours alone.

Maybe it was when he started to notice that everywhere they went, they were
holding hands. They could be simply walking down the street together and Axel
would feel the warmth of another hand. That was something he hadn’t felt in a
very, very long time. Not since his last girlfriend. And that had been
different. Girls had different hands. Smooth, sharp nails with soft, over-
moisturized skin. Roxas’s hands were calloused and his nails were cut short
from biting them. His hand was small and was practically swallowed up by Axel’s
much larger hold. But they fit. Their hands fit perfectly, palm to palm.
Roxas’s fingers threaded easily through Axel’s. It hadn’t once felt awkward or
uncomfortable. It just felt right.

Maybe it was when it finally all became too much for Roxas. When Roxas had
shown up with a forlorn look and despite the fact that Axel did have plans that
night, he ushered the boy in with kind words and soft touches. He disregarded
the blonde boy’s apologies and insistence that he followed through on his
plans. Instead he just pulled Roxas to the couch and held him until finally the
whole story came out. About how his own father had told him he wasn’t welcome
to come over the holidays. About how his mother wouldn’t look at him. His
brother was the only one left, but even he wasn’t much help. His brother was
too insistent that Roxas come where he clearly wasn’t welcome. His brother
cared, but it wasn’t enough. Roxas was a stranger in his own house, and he
wasn’t even sure what had gone wrong. That was the first time Axel ever saw the
boy cry. But Axel didn’t mind. The way Roxas was telling the story didn’t come
off as whiny; Axel could tell that Roxas had kept everything bottled up too
long and now it was finally tumbling out. Axel wouldn’t help but feel a strange
pride that it was to him. But he didn’t say anything about how angry the awful
people in Roxas’s life treated him. He didn’t say anything about how sad he was
that his sweet, pure, and innocent Roxas was hurt. He didn’t say anything of
his pride for being Roxas’s confidant. He only held the boy until he couldn’t
cry anymore.

Or maybe it was the first time they had sex. When Roxas showed up, unannounced,
and, before Axel had gotten a word in, had a hand on either side of his face,
pulling Axel down as he stood up on his toes. Their lips crashed together and
Axel’s hands flew on their own accord to Roxas’s hips as his back arched back
to reach the boy. He hoped he had the door closed by the time he had started to
pull at Roxas’s clothing, but he wasn’t completely sure. It wasn’t his first
time, but he had never felt anything like that. All he cared about at that
moment was Roxas’s hands, Roxas’s lips, the lack of Roxas’s clothes. They had
done this before, with other people, but this felt new. They breathed in each
other and it was so much more than sex had ever been for either of them. They
were truly baring their souls for one another. This was Roxas, and this was
Axel, but as time went on, the lines became less distinct. They were Axel and
they were Roxas and they were Axel and Roxas. And they loved each other. And
maybe it was just lust in that moment, but it sure didn’t feel like any other
kind of lust Axel had ever felt before.

—

Axel wasn’t sure when it became more than just friends. He wasn’t sure when he
fell in love with the boy. But the thing was, he had. He had fallen for his
hair, his eyes, his body. He had fallen in love with his strong will and his
pout. He wouldn’t call himself a slave to the younger boy, but whatever Axel
was, he had to admit it was akin to that. He had fallen hopelessly in love with
his best friend and he didn’t regret a single second of it. Things were
supposed to happen this way. He just knew it.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas, resume writing. Prompt from a friend.
“How are you good at everything?” Roxas finally said, his voice taking on a
frustrated, i-am-so-done-with-this tone. 

Axel looked up from his cereal at the boy still slaving away over his resume
and quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” he asked, taking another large bite
of his Lucky Charms.

“How are you already done with this? I started way before you!”

Axel shrugged, bemused at Roxas’s irritation. Roxas stood up, quickly enough
that he knocked the chair over, and stormed out of the room. Axel let out a
soft sigh and stood up a bit to look at what Roxas was working on. His resume
wasn’t even halfway finished. Actually, he hadn’t really gotten anything down.
Axel had a hard time holding back his snigger. If Roxas heard that, he
would not be pleased.

With a sigh, Axel stood up from his table and followed after Roxas. Roxas was
too busy fuming that he didn’t even notice Axel come up behind him, that is,
until he pulled back his foot to kick their bed and instead of meeting dead
air, connected with Axel’s leg.

“Ow! Shit, Roxas. What’d the bed ever do to you if that was yourbuild up to the
kick?” Axel said, wrapping his long fingers around the bruise and making more
of a show of it than was probably necessary. “It’s not such a big deal.”

“How are you so good at everything?” Roxas snapped, looking only momentarily
concerned that he just kicked his boyfriend. “It’s not fair! You get everything
right the first time and I have to try for it all and I still fail at
everything and that’s not fucking fair. How did you get that done so fast?!”

Axel shrugged. “I”m just good at this kind of stuff, Rox. And you know that’s
not true. You don’t fail at everything. You’re better than me in a lot of
things. Just not in resume writing. You care too much. Mine is a piece of shit.
Think I care? Not really. It’ll get me well enough. Just… don’t worry about it.
‘Kay? I can help you.”

Roxas crossed his arms and turned his back to Axel, his face never losing that
sour look.

Axel sighed and wrapped his arms around Roxas’s waist. “You’re just frustrated.
It’s not your thing. There are other things you’re good at.” Roxas huffed.
“You’re a great conversationalist, when you want to be. Hell, you probably
don’t need a resume. You’ll just charm your way into a job. You’ll do just
fine, sweetheart. Promise.”

“How come you’re always better at everything than me?”

Axel shrugged. “More experience? I kind of have a hundred different kinds of
advantages over you in this area. But you’ll get there. Promise.”

Roxas stayed quiet for a long time, then his body finally relaxed. “Your Lucky
Charms are going to be soggy.” 
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. Sometimes Roxas didn't get what he wanted out of his
     relationship with Axel.
Sometimes his chest just filled so full of want that he didn’t know what to do
with himself.

It was in those moments that Roxas showed up, completely out of the blue, at
Axel’s house. It was in those moments that Roxas had pushed his way inside and
was fingering the buttons on Axel’s shirt as soon as the other male had opened
the door. It was in those moments that he allowed himself to be pushed against
the wall and kissed harshly enough that his lips bruised. It was in those
moments that he just didn’t care.

Afterward, he always hated himself. Not for the act, of course not. He loved
how it felt when Axel was inside him. He loved how it felt when his body was so
hot he thought he was on fire. He loved how it felt when Axel’s lips and tongue
only added to that fire, the wetness sending a hot trail of flames down his
chest. Those were moments he would never want to take back.

It was the fact that afterward, things had to go back to how they were. Axel
would pick things up with whoever else he was fucking that week, and Roxas
would go back to being the best friend and the fuck buddy.

That was just how it was. Sure, Axel loved him, but not in the same way that
Roxas loved Axel. And that hurt. It hurt that Axel was Roxas’s one and only,
when Roxas was Axel’s one of many. It hurt that he couldn’t do anything about
it.

He had tried. He had finally gotten up the courage to speak to the older male
about their predicament, but his affections were shot down.

“Why ruin a good thing, Rox? Getting serious would only complicate things. Why
complicate it?”

But Axel didn’t realize that things were already complicated. That a few words
and insistent requests that it remain simplistic didn’t actually keep it that
way. Roxas had already fallen hard for Axel. It was too late to take that back.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Demyx/Zexion. They were so different, and yet, it worked.
Maybe the beautiful thing was that they were so different.

Zexion wasn’t shy, he was antisocial. He preferred to spend his days cooped up
in his room, reading a book. He was your typical introvert, but he could handle
himself with people. The thing was, he just didn’t want to. He had a
superiority complex that was hard to rise above, even for those that felt drawn
to those types of people. He was manipulative and could be cruel when he wanted
to be. But he had a soft spot for literature. He had become so well-read in his
lifetime that he could spin his own metaphors and similes like it was nobody’s
business. Truth was, though, Zexion wasn’t a writer. He didn’t want
to create, he wanted to learn.

Demyx was his polar opposite. All Demyx ever wanted to do was create. When he
was playing his Sitar and absent-mindedly writing lyrics to go with whatever
tune he created, he felt at home. Learning was not one of his strong-suits. It
wasn’t that he could do it, it was that he didn’t want to waste time or effort
on it. He was more one for instant-gratification. Sitting down and reading a
book to gain knowledge simply didn’t have the speed he wanted. The efficiency,
maybe, but he could leave that to Zexion.

They bickered constantly; about everything. About missions and Demyx’s constant
sitar playing and Zexion’s refusal to put down a book once in a while and
just live. About how Zexion took a perverse pleasure in being unnecessarily
impossible with Demyx’s friends and Demyx’s insistence that Zexion partake in
social situations that he neither wanted to nor had any business being involved
in. About how loud was too loud and how quiet was unsettling and how best to
cook meat.

But at the end of the day, they balanced each other out.

Demyx forced Zexion into new experiences that he ended up loving; Demyx
developed a new-found fondness for fiction. Demyx found muse for his creation
and Zexion found an outlet for the pent-up thoughts just itching to break free.
They were opposites and they were perfectly balanced. They brought out the best
and the worst in each other.

And really, that was all they could ever ask for. 
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. Three whole words and eight letters late.
“I love you.”

He said it so surely; without any hesitation. It was such a foreign phrase that
it made you stop and stare at him for a moment, just to see if you had imagined
it. The thing was, you hadn’t. Those three words had really tumbled out of the
blonde’s mouth. And now he was looking up at you with those big beautiful eyes
and you can’t help but feel something ache in your chest. It was probably the
emptiness aching and making your throat close up. After all, it definitely
wasn’t your heart. That had been left behind years ago.

“No, you don’t.”

Those lovely blue eyes look hurt. His beautiful lips pull down into a frown and
you just want to take it back. You want to tell him “No, no, I take it back. I
don’t doubt you.” But that would be a lie. Not that lying was hard to do.
Actually, you do it all the time, even to the beautiful boy before you. Lying
about this, though, seems wrong. For once, you can’t come up with something to
say to ease his troubles that would sit right in your stomach.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

Maybe he thinks he’s telling the truth, but you know he’s wrong. No matter how
sincere the words are meant, they’re still lies. Love is not something you were
capable of feeling. That was the sort of thing that someone needed a heart for,
and last time you checked, neither you nor Roxas possessed one. Maybe Roxas
wanted to love you, but he couldn’t. Not like someone with a heart could. Any
kind of love the blonde could offer would be a phony half-love. Could you
handle that? No, you probably couldn’t.

“You don’t even know what love means, Roxas.”

The words came out harsher than you had initially intended, but still you made
no motion to amend this statement. If you thought he looked hurt before, that
was nothing compared to how the boy looked now. His mouth was open to protest,
but no sound was coming out. It took him three times to awkwardly open, close,
and reopen his mouth before any sound actually made its way out.

“I do, though.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t have a heart, so you can’t.”

“But I do!”

You weren’t expecting the sudden passion in his voice. Your eyes had drifted
away and to the wall just past Roxas’s head, but now they snapped back to
attention. His eyes were narrowed and his mouth was open slightly. His hands
were balled into fists at his sides and he looked so frustrated. 

“It doesn’t matter that I don’t have a heart. It doesn’t matter that you think
that we can’t be in love. We are, Axel. I love you, and I know you love me. Who
needs a heart for that? It’s… instinctual! You make me feel special in ways no
one else does. You make me feel all these things, and I know I make you feel
the same.”

He didn’t know what he was talking about. He couldn’t. He didn’t have the
memories or the heart to know what any of this felt like. All Roxas was doing
was saying what he felt was right and hoping for the best. But this… whatever
it was, it wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. You would know if you were in love with
him. It didn’t matter that this seemed a lot like love, because you
couldn’t feel. 

“You’re wrong.”

And then you walk out of the room. You slam the door. You leave that beautiful
boy alone and pretend you didn’t see the heartbreak etched across his face.
Because he wasn’t heartbroken; not really.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. When they met, Axel was standing at the edge of his life.
When they met, Axel was standing at the edge of his life.

Not metaphorically, either. Well, yes, metaphorically. But also literally. He
was standing on the thick brick railing of a bridge, staring over the edge into
the dark waters below him. One long arm was wrapped around a thick pillar as he
leaned out to an almost dangerous degree.

This is it, he thought. Now or never. Moment of truth. Can I really do it?

His question was never answered, though. Because right as he was about to let
go, he heard a voice behind him.

“Is the view nice?”

Axel turned around, eyeing the blonde boy suspiciously. Was the view nice?
There was nothing to see. The area where Axel was standing was almost
completely dark, aside from the small light emitting a dull glow on the bridge.
But on the water? Hardly anything. Just a few distorted reflections of the
lights from houses, the streets, and the cars. Not enough light to see, even to
Axel, whose eyes had adjusted by now.

Before he could answer, the boy lifted himself up next to Axel and held out a
hand. Axel didn’t take it. Instead, he just stared at it until the boy thrust
it forward a little more.

“I don’t have a pillar to hold on to. Will you keep me from falling? It’d be an
awfully long drop, and I can’t imagine that water would feel too good,
especially not at this time of night,” the boy said, smiling at Axel in such an
innocent way.

Axel hadn’t thought about it that way. It would have been cold, wouldn’t it?
And falling from this height…. that would hurt. It would feel far worse than a
belly flop off the divingboard. So Axel reached out his hand, now clammy from
the anxiety, and grasped the boy’s much warmer extremity. They stood there,
gazing out at the water, without speaking for a long time before the boy broke
the silence again.

“I’m Roxas, by the way,” he said. Axel turned his head to look at the much
shorter boy, but Roxas wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were still cast out at
the water, though his lips were pulled up into a small smile; small enough that
Axel almost didn’t notice it.

“Axel.”

“Nice to meet you, Axel,” Roxas said, finally turning and grinning at him. “But
don’t you think it’s time to go home? It’s cold out. I kind of just want to go
sit at home under a blanket, watch a movie, and eat some junk food. What about
you?”

Axel nodded and watched as Roxas stepped down off the edge, back on to
completely safe, completely solid ground. But Roxas never let go. He didn’t
give Axel the chance to go back. Instead, he just turned around and looked
expectantly toward Axel.

“You can come with me.”

That was all it took. Axel got down, planted his feet firmly on the ground, and
went with the stranger. Stupid? Yes. But it ended up being the best decision of
his life. It was the decision that saved his life.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. Axel thought he would give Roxas a blowjob instead of a
     good morning. He hadn't been expecting a reaction quite like this.
Axel had tried to do something nice for Roxas. He had tried to wake him up in a
different way, give him a good morning surprise. That way the blonde could
start his day off right. He thought “Oh, give him a blowjob to wake him up.
That’s supposed to be sexy. That’ll put him in a good mood.” Because, really,
who didn’t like morning sex? Who didn’t want to start off their day with an
orgasm? It was a great idea, in theory.

What he didn’t account for was Roxas being jumpy when he first woke up. He
seemed to have forgotten that doing anything to surprise Roxas when he first
woke up was not a good idea. He had once scared the boy while he was walking
down the hallway, half asleep. He ended up halfway down the opposite end with a
new bruise, courtesy of Roxas’s keyblade.

He should have seen it coming. He should have known that Roxas would panic at a
strange sensation from down below when he was first waking up. He should have,
but he didn’t.

He didn’t expect to start off his day with a bloodied nose and a bruised rib. 
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. When Axel forgets their date, Roxas isn't too keen on
     just forgiving him.
“Come on, Roxas.”

“No! Fuck off, Axel!” Roxas called back through the door.

Axel sighed, leaning against the doorway and knocking harder. He knew this
probably looked ridiculous, them arguing through the doorway, but he didn’t
really care right now. Roxas had every right to be mad, but Axel didn’t think
he really deserved this. It wasn’t like he meant to do it. 

“It was an accident, Rox. I meant to be there.”

“It doesn’t matter if you meant to be there! You weren’t there!”

He had a point. But it wasn’t like he did it on purpose. He had tried his
hardest to be there, but a mission had taken far longer than it should have and
then he had gotten held up by Saix chewing his ass out about.. something.
Honestly, he hadn’t even been listening. He was just trying to get out of it so
he could go meet Roxas.

“I know, sweetheart. But I was trying to come. Everything was just getting in
my way.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what, Axel? What held you up? I waited for an hour. What could
have possibly taken so long?” 

He should’ve done something to let Roxas know. The thought of Roxas sitting
alone in a fucking restaurant was simply heartbreaking. He waited an hour? An
hour of being alone waiting for someone to show up. Someone that never actually
did. An hour of convincing himself that Axel would be there soon, that he
didn’t need to order yet, because soon Axel would be joining him and he
wouldn’t want his food to get cold as he waited for Axel’s meal to come. The
redhead could picture it, not that he wanted to. It was a pitiful image.

“The mission ran long and then Saix was chewing my ass out about something. I
tried to get there, but nothing was going my way.”

“Bullshit!” Roxas exclaimed, opening the door enough that Axel could see
Roxas’s angry face. He was more than just angry, though. He was hurt. He was
hurt and upset that he had been stood up and angry that the very person that
had stood him up was standing before him. Axel couldn’t blame him. “Don’t lie
to me, Axel. I”m sick of being lied to by you! You just want to cover it up so
that you don’t hurt me or something, like always. But you did hurt me. You left
me there for an hour and then even if I had stayed longer, you never would have
showed up. You forgot and now you’re trying to redeem yourself. But fuck you.
Fuck you. I don’t want to hear it. Just leave me alone!”

And then he slammed the door. He slammed the door right in Axel’s face and Axel
knew that it was the end of that conversation. Instead of leaving, though, he
just turned around and slid down to the floor, sitting on the floor and leaning
against the wall. He didn’t even react to Larxene walking past and sniggering
at the redhead accompanied by an acidic “Trouble in paradise?” Any other time,
and Axel would’ve had to fight himself not to clock her for such a stupid
comment, but this time he couldn’t even manage that.

Because this time? He hadn’t even been lying. He wanted to be there. And it was
the one time that Roxas didn’t believe him. 
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. Men are never ready to be fathers. Not usually, anyway.
In most cases, men are never ready to be fathers.
Sure, they may love kids. They may want kids of their own someday. But someday
will never come, because they will never think they’re good enough. They will
never truly believe that they are ready for a little life to become their
responsibility. Because what man wants to give up his freedom? What man wants
to trade a life of bars, clubs, and partying for a life of diapers, crying, and
doting? Sure, there are always the few exceptions to the rule, but for the most
part, men don’t want children. Men don’t plan for children. They will put it
off as long as they have to. They need the push.
But as he stared down at this beautiful baby, Roxas couldn’t come up with a
single reason why they had waited so long. He couldn’t fathom not being
everything for another human being. He wasn’t everything for Axel, because Axel
had friends and could take care of himself. Roxas was important to the redhead,
but not like he was important to this baby. It was different. This small
creature’s life depended on Roxas.
That was heavy. So heavy, that for a while, he couldn’t bring himself to make
the push. But he had. Maybe it was the fact that all of his friends were
starting to have babies. For them, it could be an accident. It could be
something completely unplanned; an unintentional miracle. For him and Axel, it
had to be thought through and planned and instigated. Neither Roxas nor Axel
had the ability to have children. He had never been envious of a woman for that
quality, but when it came time to planning and preparation for a family, he
found himself turning green around the ears.
It wasn’t even that he wanted to carry a baby. He didn’t want to have to have a
baby in his non-existant uterus for ten months and then go through the whole
birthing process. He didn’t even care if the baby was biologically his and
Axel’s. That wasn’t something he lost sleep over. What he lost sleep over was
the what ifs rolling around in his head. What if he wasn’t a good dad? What if
he messed something up? What if he couldn’t handle it?
In a heterosexual relationship, it can be an accident. Which sounds bad, but
sometimes he wished that he could have an “oops baby”, because then both he and
Axel would get the push they needed. They would have started a family sooner.
All doubts would be put on the backburner in favor of taking care of their
child and taking parenthood as it came. In this relationship, their baby had
been the product of months of agonizing and going back and forth and changing
their mind. But it was worth it in the end.
Because, in the end, he was ready. 
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Summary
     Demyx/Zexion. Usually, Zexion liked how Demyx talked.
In most cases, Zexion liked how Demyx talked; he liked the way his mouth formed
the words and the way his voice made them sound. As a lover of words, he did
have a preference for certain pronunciations and a particular cadence to the
syllables, and Demyx did have a knack for making even the most complicated of
words roll off the tongue. But sometimes, Zexion just needed a little piece and
quiet.

He learned early on in his relationship that the best way to made Demyx calm
down and stay still was to read to him. They would sit wrapped up in each other
while Zexion read a book. At first, he discovered it on a fluke. Demyx was
asking questions every few seconds about what Zexion was reading, until finally
he just started reading aloud. Even now, months later, it’s found a way into
their evening tradition. For at least half an hour, they would sit down and
Zexion would read aloud to the blonde while Demyx traced patterns into Zexion’s
arm.

It took a long time, though, for the darker haired male to realize that he
wasn’t just aimlessly tracing. After a while, he realized that Demyx was
tracing words. It took a lot of practice to be able to pay attention to both
the words on the page and deciphering the words on his arm.

Zexion almost choked when he first recognized the three word phrase. 
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sora/Riku. Finally, Riku makes the decision to keep Sora with him.
They had been so careful. Or, rather, Riku had been careful. Riku had been so
cautious whenever he and Sora were together. He spent long moments agonizing
over how he would respond to situations with the brunette when they
were just friends. Would he touch Sora? Had they ever been comfortable with
touching? Was that something they had ever done? How hard should he laugh? How
close is too close? Every single thing was questioned.

Sora, though, Sora wanted to scream it from the rooftops. He wanted everyone to
know that Riku was his and his alone. He didn’t understand why his boyfriend
would want to keep any of this under wraps. Was he ashamed? No, Riku has
assured him on multiple occasions that shame wasn’t at all a factor in this
decision. Was he embarrassed? “Embarrassed to be with you?” he had said. “Don’t
be ridiculous.”

They fought about it. Long, drawn out fights that would end up with Riku on the
couch and Sora sleeping in that big lonely bed all by himself. Riku could never
articulate why he didn’t want to tell people about them. Sora could never get
over his fear that he just wanted an easy out in case something went wrong. So
things got harder and they got more and more distant, both for fear of getting
hurt or hurting the other.

When Riku finally, finally, gave into Sora, it was at Kairi’s beach party. All
of their friends were there and Sora had been all over Riku all night. This led
to a fight almost loud enough to draw attention and a particularly hurt and
angry Sora stomping off to leave the island and just go home. That was when
Riku realized how ridiculous he was being. He was going to lose his best friend
and quite possibly the love of his life to a situation he couldn’t even fully
grasp.

Sora hadn’t been expecting a strong grip on his wrist. He hadn’t been expecting
that grip to spin him around and pull him into the warm embrace of his
boyfriend. He hadn’t expected the kiss, fully luminated beneath a torch and not
too far away from their rather large group of friends.

Riku hadn’t been expecting the cheers and calls of Finally! from the other
beach-goers. 
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sora/Riku/Kairi. How to share a Paopu between three people.
“How do you share a Paopu with three people?”

“They never said how big your share had to be, did they?”

“Well, no, but is that even possible? Does it work the same way?”

“Does it work at all?”

It was Kairi’s idea, sharing the Paopu between them. The three of them had
grown up being told the story of the magical Paopu, the fruit that intertwined
destinies of those who shared it. But every time, they always mentioned two
people. Two people who shared the fruit. What about three? What about when two
simply wasn’t enough? What if there was room in a heart for more than one
person?

So that was how the idea came about. Riku was skeptical. He was one to always
stick to what other people told them. A Paopu was for two people, not three, so
it might not work the same way. Honestly, he wasn’t even totally convinced it
worked at all. Sora was skeptical, but not nearly so. He believed
wholeheartedly in the powers of the star-shaped fruit, but he wasn’t convinced
it worked the same way.

But Kairi was insistent, and so the three shared the fruit. Together, just like
it always has been. 
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sora/Roxas. Prompt: Sora and roxas cuddling in bed now <3
Roxas had never been fond of mornings. He didn’t like to be woken up at any
point before at least twelve in the afternoon, preferably later. There was
something absolutely batshit insane about people that actually enjoyed waking
up early. No alarm clock softened the blow, there was no kind way to wake him
up. The only good way to wake up was when it was on his terms in his own time,
without any outside forces.

Despite that, though, there was something magical about waking up. Those first
few seconds when he wasn’t quite sure where he was and what he was doing there.
The first few seconds of wakefulness where he was trying to grasp at a dream.
It was that moment between sleep and wakefulness, and there was something
amazing about it.

When he woke to find a body in his arms, that magical moment lasted much
longer. It didn’t matter that Sora was still asleep, it felt comforting just
knowing that he was there. Knowing that Sora was cuddled up in his arms,
trusting him at what Roxas considered to be his most vulnerable time, made him
feel important. Like he didn’t have anywhere else to be that was more
important. And, really, that was true. Nothing would ever be more important
than this moment and moments like these.

Sora let out a soft noise and turned in his sleep, pressing his face into
Roxas’s shoulder. Roxas raised a hand to rub softly at the bare skin of his
back and hold him closer. No, there was definitely nothing more important than
being with Sora at this moment. 
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. Roxas can't stand Axel.
Roxas can’t stand the way Axel goofs off in class. It drives him crazy how he
can never take anything seriously in their English class. Every time he’s
called on, he gives a bullshit answer that he knows is completely in left
field. He knows that Axel knows because he always gives this little smirk that
clearly states “I am too smart for this bullshit” when he’s not. He’s cocky and
narcissistic and thinks he’s practically perfect in every way when that
couldn’t be farther from the truth.

 Roxas can’t stand the way Axel always talks. Seriously, the kid never shuts
up. And he constantly repeats himself. If Roxas has to hear the phrase “Got it
memorized?” one more time, he swears he will nuke the school. Axel just doesn’t
know when it’s time to quit. All throughout class he will sit there and talk to
Demyx, without even bothering to be quiet, and force Roxas to ask their teacher
to repeat what she just said. Which she then promptly responds with “Sorry,
Roxas, was I interrupting your conversation with my teaching?” when, obviously,
he hadn’t even been the one talking.

Roxas can’t stand the way that every single teacher kisses the ground Axel
walks on. Axel is in good graces with every single teacher in the school, it
seems like, even though he constantly ditches class and gets into trouble. He
never does his homework, unless cheating off of Demyx who cheated off of Zexion
counts. Somehow he manages to ace every single test, though, which Roxas swears
is because he’s cheating off of someone, but no one will nail him for it.
Because Axel is perfect in every way.

Roxas can’t stand the way that Axel won’t keep his long legs to himself and off
of his fucking chair when Roxas is trying to copy down the notes. Or the way
that he constantly has to tap his pencil when Roxas finally gets him to shut
up. Or the way that he’s always teasing Roxas for everything he does and
constantly touching him and getting in his personal space.

But he loves the way that Axel’s fingers trail up his skin, bringing his shirt
with it; the way each and every touch feels like fire singing his skin. He
loves to hate how the redhead loves to tease him by rubbing small circles at
his hips and upper thighs. He loves how Axel kisses him, hot and needy and
desperate and in so close together that Roxas can’t tell where one kiss ends
and another begins.

Axel has a way of getting under Roxas’s skin and making him want more, and even
then, more is almost never enough. He mouths his skin and nips at places the
blonde had never even considered could be sexy, but they make him burn with
desire in every kiss and touch and bite.

Roxas can’t stand the way Axel makes the blonde want him.
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. Axel wants to understand, but it's hard to understand the
     nightmares that no one can explain.
Axel wanted to understand.
 
He wanted to understand why nearly every night now, he awoke to a somber
looking Roxas dressed in pajamas way too big for him. If the boy’s eyes didn’t
look so damn big and sad, he’d mention how ridiculous, and cute, he looked with
the long sleeves covering his hands and the pajama pants tripping him when he
stepped. Why did Roxas insist on wearing such huge clothes? If he had been able
to ask, Roxas would have told him that it was a safety net. The bigger the
clothes, the more secure he felt. But Axel was never able to ask, because when
Roxas visited him, it wasn’t on happy terms.
 
 
At first, Axel would give the boy a questioning stare and maybe even mutter a
“What are you doing here, Roxas?” but after a while, he simply lifted the
covers and welcomed the boy in. Roxas would waste no time in curling up against
him and Axel would wrap an arm around the smaller boy. Occasionally, Roxas
would cry, his sobs racking his body in sharp jolts as he pressed his face into
Axel’s skin. Had it been anyone else, Axel would have complained about the
tears on his shoulder or chest, but this was Roxas, and he had always handled
the boy delicately. Sometimes, the tears never came. Roxas would shake in an
unyielding fear that he never verbalized and Axel would rub his back and murmur
soothing words into the boy’s ear until his body stilled and his breathing
deepened as he drifted off to sleep.
 
 
These nights scared him. During the day, Roxas took everything in stride. No
matter how hard Saix worked him or how badly beaten he was by the heartless, he
would come to Axel with a smile on his face. Or, if he wasn’t smiling, it took
hardly any effort to change that. He didn’t like the Roxas of the night. He
didn’t like that something had frightened his beautiful boy enough to drag
himself out of bed and down the hall to Axel. He loved that Roxas came to him
rather than someone else, like Xion, but he couldn’t quite grasp why Roxas
needed him.
 
 
If he asked, no answer came. The only answer Roxas ever gave was I needed you.
His voice always sounded so broken that Axel couldn’t press further, and by
morning, Roxas had all but forgotten. Once, Axel had asked while they were
getting ready for a mission. Only once, because the look that Roxas gave him
silenced him into ignorance. He could not, and would not, ask again, no matter
how much he wanted to know.
 
 
Roxas didn’t want to tell him. He didn’t want to tell the redhead about the
dreams that woke Roxas with a scream. The dreams that forced tears out of his
eyes before he was even conscious. They varied from night to night, but one
theme was the same: death. Death of Roxas, death of Xion, and, worst of all,
death of Axel. He could hardly even call them deaths. Mostly they just
disappeared. Night after night he was treated to similar visions of the three
of them disappearing, leaving no trace behind. Sometimes the images were of
such a clarity that Roxas couldn’t tell the difference between reality and
fiction.
 
 
Those were the nights that Roxas made the trek through the castle to Axel. He
had to make sure, had to be completely certain that he was still there. That he
would never leave. Only when he could feel the heat of the other man and hear
his steady breathing was he completely satisfied that it was only a dream. It
was only a dream, but it felt like a whole lot more. And Roxas had to hold on
tightly to what he had, before it was gone.
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Summary
     Axel/Roxas. Once is a coincidence, twice is chance, and three times
     is a pattern. Roxas doesn't like this kind of pattern.
Axel wasn’t expecting to wake up alone. He wasn’t expecting the sheets to be
thrown back halfway off his own body and the space beside him to be cold. He
had expected to wake up to Roxas curled up practically on top of him with the
sheets thrown haphazardly over their naked waists and their legs tangled
together. That was how he was used to waking up, ever since Roxas had moved in
with him.

But he was utterly alone. Even a shout of “Hello? Roxas?” had no answer. Either
Roxas was ignoring him, or he had gone somewhere else. He wasn’t used to that.
Roxas never dragged himself out of bed before ten, and it was currently eight
a.m. Something about this wasn’t right.

So Axel pulled himself out of bed and started the tread toward the kitchen,
only to be met with even more… emptiness. At first glance, nothing was
different in their apartment, but as Axel looked closer, he noticed that little
thing were gone. The furniture hadn’t been moved, the pictures remained in
their place, but Roxas’s books were gone. Roxas’s CDs were gone. Roxas’s movies
were gone. Everything that had belonged to the blonde was no longer in its
place. That was when Axel started to get worried. His heartbeat quickened as he
turned from the front room to the kitchen instead.

On the counter laid a piece of lined paper. It was ripped from the journal that
Axel had bought Roxas for the kid’s birthday three months ago. Paper smaller
than the typical size with rounded edges and black lines rather than the light
blue looseleaf held. Roxas had written in black ink and there were small
circles where the paper had been wrinkled and the ink had run, but they weren’t
prevalent enough to make the message unclear.

Axel.

I’m leaving. I’m going to stay with my sister. My train leaves at eight. Don’t
try to contact me, don’t try to apologize. I don’t want to hear it. We’re done.
I’ve taken all of my things.

The first time you did it, I thought I was imagining things. That maybe you
were just moaning incoherently and you weren’t trying to say a name at all. The
second time, I thought it was just a fluke. But last night was the final straw.
I don’t know who Isa is, but it’s definitely not me. 
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