Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/994479.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Finnish_Music_RPF, Music_RPF, Packantine_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Jimi_Constantine/Robin_Packalen
  Character:
      Jimi_Constantine, Robin_Packalen
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-07 Words: 3702
****** Life will drive past soon ******
by sandorizu
Summary
     Robin has grown over fifteen centimeter the last year. He's becoming
     more and more of a man. Jimi suddenly finds this problematic.
Notes
     The dirtiest thing I have ever written. Something that was never
     meant to happen. But after finishing the melody playing on repeat in
     my head I had this NEED to write more. That series started with a
     setting from almost a year ago. Robin has changed, a lot has changed
     and there was so much new material to work with. I couldn't resist. A
     small chat with Reettis became the start of this and I am deeply
     sorry.
     Don't read if you never want Packantine with sexual content where
     Robin is still a minor. I'm sorry for even writing it.
It all started back in March this year. At that mind blowing gig in the Circus
in Helsinki. Jimi had been on a high of excitement and pride over Robin right
from the start. Without even thinking about it his good luck wishes had
included a kiss on the cheek followed by a joke about toilet paper. It was all
completely normal. Almost.
That the boy delivered the best gig he ever had only intensified the feeling
and as the whole band came off stage Jimi had gone straight forward and given
Robin the tightest of hugs. His quiet words that asked if he'd done good had
cracked something inside Jimi and still holding on to the boy he'd said that
"Yes. Fucking best, if not the best one ever". Robin had smiled a bit
sheepishly.
That was it, really. Jimi didn't even consider what had happened until a whie
later when he found himself about to give the boy another peck. That's when his
mind stopped to consider why he was doing that and since when it felt like he
should.
He didn't give Robin that second kiss. But things started moving around in his
head and he started noticing things. Noticing the way he hugged the boy too
tightly and too often. How those urges to give him small kisses came more than
once or twice. How the boy had gotten very tall and muscular, how even though
it was the lanky body of a teenager still growing he had become attractive. How
everything in his life revolved around that boy.
It hit him like a stone to the head. He was attracted to, even falling for, a
fourteen years old boy. One that was very mature for his age, both mentally and
physically, but still only a boy.
How does one react to such a realisation? How does one deal with something so
wrong? Jimi didn't know. He'd always been a bit different in many ways, but
never in any way so ethically wrong. He was just about 2000 years too late for
this.
He dropped everything and went straight home. For hours he sat there staring
straight forward at nothing in specific. Just staring. His head was filled with
pictures of Robin. Robin laughing, Robin jumping around like the silly twat he
was, Robin singing, Robin eating sushi and even Robin working out. No matter
how much Jimi tried to force those pictures away his mind would only give him
more. Robin wrestling with Samppa. Robin in the sauna.
Groaning he covered his face with his hands. He could feel his pants getting
tighter at the pictures his mind provided him with. But he just couldn't give
in to this. This was sick. Insane.
It continued, however. Looking at the boy without inapropriate affection or
attraction became nearly impossible. Even as Maki's and Robin's cooperation had
ended Jimi still saw a lot of Robin. Something that actually had given him
great relief. The panic he'd felt inside when he first heard Maki talk to Mika
Packalen angrily on the phone had been suffocating. Was this it? Would he no
longer be allowed to work with the boy?
That was when he realised how big a part of his life Robin really was and that,
unacceptable feelings or not, he wouldn't be able to let go. So when Mika
called him personally to ask him to continue all the other duties than
producing his knees had given in. He'd whispered a "yes, of course" and smiled
to himself like he hadn't in ages.
He would never have Robin the way his warped mind wanted, but he would have as
much of him as he could. Enough to sustain this unhealthy addiction, enough to
keep him from going insane. Enough to give him material for all those showers
alone, fingers buried deep inside himself.
Then Robin hugged him back. Let his hands linger on Jimi's sides just like Jimi
had done so many times. Breathed in in a way that Jimi could only interpret in
ways that made him want to never let go. Of course he knew that couldn't be the
truth, Robin would never reciprocate Jimi's feelings. And even if he did it
would never be possible. Jimi knew that.
But that embrace, as well as Robin's genuine smile just inches from his face as
he finally withdrew, would brighten his mind for days afterwards. Maybe that
was all he needed, all he wanted. A smile just for him now and then. That
couldn't be wrong, could it?
Robin's birthday came and went. The boy was now fifteen, just a year from
legal. Legal for anyone under eighteen, that meant. Jimi had happily wished him
a happy birthday and promised to take him out for sushi some time. He could do
that. That was okay territory. Because they were good friends.
Jimi had to admit he was very excited over Robin's new material. Despite not
being that involved in the creative process anymore, except for some lyrics, he
was still kept up to date. It was good to know what songs to be ready for at
lives. And it still felt like he belonged, as so many of the feature artists
were his good friends. He wasn't losing Robin. He was still a part of his life.
One evening in early October, after a very successful album release gig, he
found himself sharing a drink or two with Uniikki and Mikael Gabriel. Robin and
the band had headed off to some kebab place instead and Jimi had agreed to go
with the two rappers. He still didn't drink often, just now and then when the
situation required it. Robin releasing his third full lentgh album was one of
those occasions. He was having a good time, laghing at old jokes and enjoying
maybe a bit more sangria than he had planned to.
After a couple of hours his head started spinning. He wasn't sure if it was the
alcohol or just his thoughts catching up to him again, but he suddenly felt he
had to leave. As he was famous for never staying out late and sleeping early
the two men didn't even question it as he excused himself. Going all the way
home to Pakila however, felt far too tedious and he decided to go back to the
backstage room of Tavastia to just… Rest for a while.
Robin and the band were still out having junk food, and most staff were already
gone. Their things were still lying around since there would be another gig
tomorrow. So the room was empty. That suited Jimi perfectly.
Flopping down on the sofa he groaned into his hands. That had almost become his
signature pose when alone. With a deep sigh he reached out for the half eaten
candy bag on the table, wanting something to chew on. That it was a bag with
only the ones no one wanted to eat left didn't matter.
How had it come to this? How did he fall so low so fast? Today had been a great
day in so many ways, he should still be out celebrating. He shouldn't be
sitting alone trying to stop his mind from images of Robin sweaty under the
spotlights. Or under Jimi. He should just be proud of the boy, who again had
sold double platinum in no time. But he saw so much more.
If only Robin hadn't started hugging him more tightly. If only Jimi couldn't
feel Robin's hands on him because he knew what they felt like. How warm and
strong they were. If only Jimi didn't know exactly what Robin smelled like or
what he looked like naked.
With a deep sigh he leaned back against the sofa with a deep sigh, head falling
against the wall with a thud. Like that he stayed for what felt like hours, but
might in reality have been barely twenty minutes. Just breathing, trying to
clear his head.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him, trying to get him back to reality.
"Jimi"
Jimi grunted. Having long since fallen into dreams of the young singer, that
being all he could have, he wanted them to continue. In his mind Robin was so
close to him, right there, leaning in over him.
"Jimi, are you okay?"
"Yes I'm..." He mumbled. Robin was kissing him with his soft warm lips. He
wanted to see it though, not just feel it.
Slowly Jimi's eyes fluttered open and he lifted his head a bit off the sofa.
Robin was still right htere, leaning over him, just like he'd imagined. With a
smile he lifted his hand and reached out, first stroking along Robin's cheek
and then nesting his fingers into the hair behind the boy's ear. A small intake
of breath only made him want to pull the boy closer.
"Jimi, what--"
Pulling the boy just a bit closer, enough to close the gap, Jimi covered his
lips with his own. They were warm and dry, despite Jimi having licked them just
moments earlier. And for some reason this time Robin wasn't kissing him back.
His hand tightened in the boys hair, almost begging, as he moved his lips over
Robin's a few more times.
When he pulled away just a little and saw Robin staring at him with wide eyes,
mouth slightly open, it hit him. He wasn't actually sleeping anymore. He was
awake, and Robin was right there in front of him. And he'd kissed him. He
collapsed back against the sofa, as the weight of his action hit him. Above him
Robin was still staring at him.
"I--" he started, looking down, trying to make up an explanation.
"Jimi."
What could he say? He had no idea. His mind was suddenly completely blank. He
wanted to disappear.
"Kiss me again."
Jimi froze. His eyes shot up to look at the boy in surprise. Robin was still
standing right above him, leaning down a little. He was biting his lower lip,
something Jimi really couldn't place showing in his eyes. Then he parted his
lips and leaned in a bit more, as if to emphasize what he'd just said. Jimi
found the sensible side of him didn't stand a chance. This was everything he's
been dreaming of for such a long time.
His hand went up again, circled the back of Robin's neck and pulled him closer,
almost forcefully this time. It was far too easy to give in and when Robin
responded, clumsily but eagerly, Jimi felt it all the way to his toes. Robin's
tongue coming out to meet his and his teeth scraping Jimi's lower lip. Suddenly
Robin fell to his knees on the sofa, straddling Jimi and ending up so much
closer. His forehead rested against Jimi's as he pulled back, probably for air,
as his warm breaths were heavy as they hit Jimi's face. Jimi's breaths were
more nervous, afraid Robin would move any higher and find his erection. And it
had only been a kiss.
"I've wondered what you taste like", Robin mumbled as his hands made their way
up Jimi's sides, all the way to his head and then holding him in place as he
kissed him again. Jimi was unable to move, unable to comprehend what was
happening. All he could feel was Robin's mouth, his teeth nipping on Jimi's
lips, tongue diving in to taste and explore. With an obvious lack of
experience, but with a determination that completely floored Jimi.
It was as if something snapped inside of Jimi. Something he'd been holding back
for so long, all that want he'd been dealing with for months came crashing down
on him in a wave of heat spreading throughout his body life a huge wave. With a
small groan he started fighting for dominance in the kiss and stroked his hands
down Robin's back, wanting to find its edge to sneak underneath. To feel his
skin.
Robin shivered from his touch, his back almost arching into it. When Jimi tried
to lift his legs a bit, to force Robin a little closer Robin gasped. Jimi had
to swallow a moan when he realised the boy was hard as a rock from the kissing.
It was both horrible and amazing.
Robin's hands left his neck, sliding down along his chest. They didn't go
further than that however, before leaving him. Instead he grabbed onto his own
shirt, swiftly pulling it over his head and disarding it to the floor. His hair
was even messier than usually after that but there was a strange grin on his
face when Jimi's eyes finally made it that far up.
"Like what you see?" He asked, in a teasing tone. As if he was suggesting a
sushi eating competition.
"You have no idea" Jimi muttered in reply, one hand going up the bare chest in
front of him, stroking over muscles that had become so defined lately. As his
thumb found a nipple Robin gasped quietly. Leaning forward a bit, Jimi started
kissing his neck, licking and nipping here and there, practically worshipping
the boy's skin. Robin's hands grabbed his arms, hold tightening with every bite
and when Jimi's lips reached down to his chest and captured his other nipple he
arched towards the older man, causing their groins to brush against each other.
Jimi couldn't hold back the groan. Leaning his head against Robin's chest he
breathed heavily, hands clinging to the boy. The contact, even through the
thick fabric of their trousers, was almost too much. His whole body felt like
fireworks ready to go off and he couldn't remember when he'd ever been this
turned on by someone before.
A small seed of sanity found its way to the surface however, and between the
heavy breaths he managed to mutter "Robin, we need to stop now". But instead of
Robin nodding and getting off him, like what should have happened, he felt
himself being turned and pulled down on top of the boy as he laid down on the
sofa.
"No." Robin said, leaving no room for discussion. Jimi still hesitated above
him, trying to pull away but Robin was holding onto him with so much strenght
and Jimi's whole body felt like jelly. "I want you. To be my first."
The whole absurdity of that comment sent Jimi's head spinning. Robin wanted
him, was all he could comprehend at first, to be his first however, and that
was a whole new level of crazy. Natural, as the boy was only fifteen, but how
many people had Jimi had sex with? As many as there were years between them,
probably. It was insane. This was all insane. Jimi's head hurt from the
intensity of it all but in the end all he could process was the he just didn't
care anymore.
As if on que Robin's hands were pulling his shirt off, an annoyed "some speed,
thank you" leaving his lips by the time the shirt was already mostly over
Jimi's head. Without a thought Jimi replied with a "slower, take it easy" and
Robin's hand froze on his shoulder. Then the twat was laughing, breaths coming
like hickups between the fits of laughter. Jimi laughed with him, more quietly
however, and let himself fall down on top of the boy, head resting on his
shoulder.
The contact of skin on skin was somewhat intense. Jimi bit back a concent moan
just from lying still on top of Robin. The boy was radiating heat and somehow
Jimi fit perfectly on top of the much taller boy. He could feel Robin's hands
trail down his bare back, every single skin cell they touched tingling causing
him to get just as hard again as before the small interruption.
Suddenly Robin's hands slid under his waist band and he gasped in surprise as
they grabbed at his ass, pushing him down against Robin. This time he did
groan, loud against Robin's skin. Robin hummed something and his hands traveled
to the front of Jimi's trousers. With a small sigh Jimi lifted himself onto his
knees, gave Robin a hurried kiss before staring right into his eyes. Eyes so
dark it should be illegal.
"Know that you are basically taking my freedom away by letting me do this."
Robin was quiet for a little while, hands still resting on Jimi's waistband.
Then he licked his lips.
"I'm not letting you. I'm forcing you to."
Jimi snorted. "Well that's reassuring." But his hands were already at Robin's
waist, opening those silly buttons one by one. Just as quickly Robin opened his
trousers and within seconds they were both naked, Robin's underwear having
disappeared with his pants. Without wasting another second Jimi leaned down,
mouth covering Robin's again in another eager kiss, sucking at his lips. His
hand went straight for Robin's erection, the boy arching off the sofa as Jimi's
hand encircled him.
The moans that Robin let out went straight to Jimi's groin and after just a few
strokes he gave in, grinding his own hips down against Robin. He needed the
contact, needed to feel the boy against him. His whole body touching Robin.
Robin's hands were in his hair and now those moans, groans and small whines
came out right next to Jimi's ear. He tried stroking them both at once while
still grinding, it was clumsy and not in any way well coordinated, but it
didn't matter. The only words that could describe it either way was
intoxicating and overwhelming.
"Robin" he moaned into the boy's hair as he started forcefully grinding his
hips upwards, seeking even more friction than Jimi's hand could provide.
Robin's hands were on his back again, blunt nails trailing down along it and
Jimi groaned. The groan became a gasp when they grabbed his ass again, pulling
his cheeks slightly apart. Robin chuckled at the reaction.
"So many times have I dreamt of you touching me there"
"Here?" Robin muttered against Jimi's skin and Jimi could feel the smile on his
lips as his fingers suddenly swept in between his cheeks, stroking over his
opening. Jimi groaned loudly and just from that little fluttering touch he
could feel himself getting close. Just the thought of any part of Robin
breaching that opening made his body shake. Not sure if he should press up
against Robin's hand or grind down for more friction the seconds of hesitation
had Robin's pressing his hips up full force at the same time as he pressed a
finger right at Jimi's hole. Jimi came with a whine.
He got less than a minute time to catch his breath, lying almost like a blanket
on top of Robin, before the boy started bucking his hips. Jimi could only
chuckle.
"Yes yes, I'm deeply sorry for needing a second to recover from that."
He got up on his knees and kissed a trail down Robin's neck, then chest. The
boy closed his eyes almost instantly, probably wanting to only feel the
sensation of light, warm touches down his body. He moaned as Jimi sucked on a
nipple again, this time even biting down a bit, and bucked his hips up again in
animpatient matter.
"Take it easy, twat. Just enjoy."
Robin nodded above him and Jimi licked away his own semen from Robin's stomach.
Small feathery kisses down his hipbone, on his inner thigh. Robin tried
shifting his hips again, but Jimi held him steady with his hands this time.
Robin was hard as a rock and to be honest Jimi was almost impressed he hadn't
come yet. He was a teenage boy, after all. How did a teenage boy get him to
come first? He should almost be ashamed. And afraid of what power this boy had
over him.
He didn't even bother to start with licking, he opened his mouth and took in as
much as he could of Robin at once and Robin screamed. He moved up and down a
couple of times and Robin's whole body was shaking, his hips desperately trying
to push up and Jimi used all his strenght to keep the younger boy pressed
against the sofa. As he sucked, first slowly, then as hard as he could Robin
came with a gasp that soon became a groan as his nails dug into Jimi's
shoulders and Jimi licked off the last drops of semen.
Jimi sat up and watched Robin as he slowly regained his breath, saliva
glistening on his lips and face red. A sight he'd never expected to see, a
sight he never should have seen. But now he had, and there was no turning back.
Ever. It was insane what attraction and love could do to a human being. Because
Jimi felt no regret. He should have, but he didn't.
He reached out and grabbed his trousers, pulling them on despite still being
quite messy. Robin sat up next to him and then leaned his head on Jimi's
shoulder. "I like you naked."
"We won't be alone here forever and this is really not a good state for them to
find us in."
Robin sighed and picked up his own clothes. He was smiling when he pulled them
on however and soon he was sitting next to Jimi again, side glued to Jimi's.
Jimi was suddenly feeling like he was sobering up and the weight of what just
had happened was settling like a large rock on his shoulders. He could feel
some sort of panic attack coming. He'd been drunk when this started, maybe now
when the alcohol was slowly leaving his system he saw everything clearer. It
suddenly scared him so much.
A hand grabbed his, squeezing it tightly.
"Stop that. If I tell anyone it means I won't get to see what happens if I
actually make it inside."
Jimi gaped at him, feeling his cheeks heating up again.
"So why would I. When I finally know what I'm singing about."
Jimi looked at him questioningly, not understanding what he meant. Robin was
grinning like an idiot.
"Boom kah."
Minutes must have passed before they stopped laughing.
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