Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/5195351. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major Character_Death, Underage Category: F/M, M/M Fandom: Shameless_(US) Relationship: Ian_Gallagher/Mickey_Milkovich, Ian_Gallagher_&_Mickey_Milkovich, Mickey Milkovich_&_Svetlana_Milkovich, Mickey_Milkovich_&_Yevgeny_MIlkovich, Fiona_Gallagher_&_Mickey_Milkovich, Fiona_Gallagher/Mickey_Milkovich, Fiona_Gallagher/Yevgeny_Milkovich, Fiona_Gallagher/Ian_Gallagher, Eventually_Gallavich Character: Svetlana_Milkovich, Mickey_Milkovich, Yevgeny_Milkovich, Liam_Gallagher_ (Shameless_US), Fiona_Gallagher, Ian_Gallagher, Charlie_Ivanov, Jimmy Lishman, Corinthos_Family, mention_of_Mandy_Milkovich_-_Character, Debbie Gallagher, Carl_Gallagher Additional Tags: Underage_Sex, Angst, Other_Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added, relationships, Family, Gallavich, Officer_Ian_Gallagher, Drug_Use, Drugs, Slow_Burn, Escort_Service, Escort_Mickey, Miscarriage, Bipolar_Disorder, Bipolar Fiona, Sad_Mickey, Implied/Referenced_Self-Harm, Hurt_Mickey_Milkovich, Heavy_Angst, Angst_with_a_Happy_Ending, Dark_Past, Character_Death, cancer_au, sick_Yevgeny_Milkovich, Single_dad_Mickey_Milkovich Stats: Published: 2015-11-12 Updated: 2017-08-20 Chapters: 15/? Words: 145490 ****** Life Unexpected ****** by Moya_Rozum_is_a_beautiful_Disaster13 Summary At the age of 27 Mickey Milkovich life is about to change in many ways. Being a single parent raising his son, he never thought that his life can get a little more complicated with his new neighbor moves in across the hall. Especially when that said Neighbor has more ties to him then he thinks Notes I have no beta so if there are any mistake I'm sorry. I will be posting this story as much as I can ***** Chapter 1 ***** Life for Mickey Milkovich wasn’t easy; he was a single dad taking care of his 10 year old son; who by the way was way too smart for his own good. Yevgeny Milkovich is a great kid, he’s smart, kind, and is the best thing that Mickey could have help to create and bring into this world. Even though being a single parent wasn’t a new thing or an adventure for Mickey anymore, it was still overwhelming for him. Mickey was always scared he would fuck it up somehow, but eventually over the years he managed to get it down pack. With a few minor mistakes over the years and much learning to take it step by step; Mickey ended up having the whole parenting thing down pack. At least he thinks he does. It being him and just Yevgeny over the years, he didn’t really mind it all that much. It was just him and Yev, the A-team against the world like batman and robin. However there were times where Mickey did miss Svetlana, but she was gone and no matter what Mickey would always be gratefully to her for giving him Yevgeny. Svetlana was a funny character. Hard, tough as nails, but also sweet, and strong willed. She was Mickey’s best friend and his world at one point in his life, but now Yevgeny was his world. Yevgeny was the only thing that mattered to him.       It was never easy explaining to Yev as to why the other kids in his school had moms and he didn’t. Sometimes Mickey cursed Svetlana for that, but as the years went on Yevgeny understood. He didn’t like it, but he understood that other kids in his school went home to their moms and that he didn’t. It didn’t matter to him anymore, at least not so much because every year Yevgeny would make a card for his mother. He would make a card for her on mother’s day, on Christmas, Halloween, and on her birthday; he would always give it to her. For him it was a way of saying thank you for giving him life, and it was a way for him to at least visit her to tell her how much he loved her and what was going on new in his life. For Mickey in a way, it was having Yevgeny know his mother the only way he knew how. Cards and Flowers always said something with meaning behind it when visiting a person you love.       And just like every year, this year was no exception! “Are we still going dad?” Yevgeny asked his father from where he was at sitting. Yevgeny was inside of the kitchen looking at his dad getting ready for his 2nd job. Mickey’s second job was a part-time gig but it was a night job. One that Yev didn’t like at all. However the young boy knew they needed the money, and knew why his father worked 2 jobs.   Mickey turned to look at Yev and smiled as he spoke to his son. “Yeah little man, like every year we’re going to go see your mama okay. I promised you didn’t I?” Mickey said to Yev as he makes his way into the bathroom to look at himself over in the mirror quickly. He made sure his brass knuckles where in his back pocket, and he had his work phone on him, as well as his personal cell phone in case Yev needed to call him. Mickey walks out of the bathroom, looks at Yev thinking on whether or not he should ask his son a question. Yevgeny is always one to have smartass comments come out of his mouth. Eh, whatever; Mickey goes for it and askes Yev anyways. “So how do I look? And please before you give me that sarcastic look and roll your eyes at me, be honest Yev.”   Yevgeny looks at his father. He tilts his head slightly to the side and starts tapping his finger against his chin as he continues to look his dad up and down. “Hmmmmmm, well a bit much on the hair, but your clothes look good on yah dad!” Yevgeny says slightly sarcastic giving his father two thumbs up for approval.   Mickey just shakes his head as he laughs. “Good.” Is all he says as he’s getting his coat and keys that are hanging from the hook ready to head out.   Yevgeny looks at his dad again and as always he’s worried. He always worries when his father goes out for his second job. It’s usually late out at night, and he comes back tired and drained in the morning. Rarely but sometimes he’s come back hurt. Yev wishes his dad didn’t have this second job. “Be careful dad okay?” Yev says seriously and warily at the same time to his father.   Mickey turns around to look at Yev and sighs while walking over to him. “Ima be fine Yevy okay? It’s not gonna happen again like it did a couple of years ago. Now come on let’s get you into bed! You got school in the morning and I should be home before day light alright?” Mickey tells to his son, and Yevgeny nods his head as they make their way into his room. Mickey tucks Yevgeny in his bed and gives Yevgeny a good night kiss on the forehead as always. And then again on the cheek, and again has he whispers to him.“dobroyi nochi, moya lyubove” (Good night my love).   “Good night daddy, I love you too.” Was all Yev said; Mickey then walks out of his sons’ room. Yev was now 10 years old now, all grown up in some ways yet still a child, and here he was with Mickey. Mickey was raising him since he was 17 years old all on his own. Mickey wished things were different, but they weren’t. Yevgeny was a good kid and Mickey was proud to have him. He’s only 27 years old, but was doing the best he could as a parent could do for their child. So yeah, what if his night job wasn’t the best, and yeah Yev disapproved of it. But it was quick money and fast money. They needed it; what with medical bills he was still paying off over the years, paying the rent on his own, paying for his and Yevs’ phone bill, light bill, cable bill, food, transportation, and much more. Shit wasn’t easy.   Being alone and doing it all alone was hard but Mickey would never trade it for anything in the world. Nope! Not as long as he had Yevgeny with him; he did this for Yevgeny, and that was all he ever thought about. No one could call Mickey Milkovich a bad parent no matter what he does or had done. He does it all for his son. So much was running through Mickey mind at this moment, than his phone vibrated inside his pocket. It made him jump out of his thoughts. He looked at the time, and now it was 10 o’clock and Mickey had to leave! It was show time.     What Mickey didn’t know, was that the life he lead will soon catch up to him in the most unexpected way.   ***** An unlikely friendship and bond like no other. ***** Chapter Notes Well I hope you guys like the first chapter so here's the second. Again I don't have a beta and I hope you enjoy this one. I laughed a bit writing this one and you'll see why. The title of this chapter describes two things in here that I hope you guys notice. Again I love all your kudos and comments I really do appreciate them. Being that its my birthday today and Happy Friday the 13th by the way. Here you guys go, my gift to you. xoxoxoxoxo let me know what yah think. The Gallagher’s! Hmm, well what can you say about them? Other than the fact that there’s a lot of them. You’ve got Fiona, Lip, Ian, Debbie, Carl, and Liam; all siblings from oldest to youngest.  It was Fiona who held the family together for years and to this day she still does. Even though at times it looked like she couldn’t handle things, but in her own way she did manager to handle things right. Then there is Ian Gallagher… well Ian Gallagher led an interesting life so far as it may seem. His sister and only mother figure Ian ever knew, was and is Fiona. Fiona is an amazing person as we just learned, but there’s more to her than just that; and here is why she just is that amazing person. Taking care of a family is not easy. Anyone who telling you it is; is lying their asses off. Just like the rest of society for Fiona it never was so easy. Managing to care for a family at a young age never is. Fiona busted her ass for siblings especially for her two younger brothers Ian and Lip. She worked hard so that they both could go to school and make something of themselves. Ian managed to graduate college at the age of 22 with a Bachelor degree in Criminal Justice. His older brother Lip graduated with his Law degree along with a minor in Business management. Lip is a goal getter obviously and for him he saw his sister as his hero. They both did, wanting to only ever make her proud and be something more than their parents ever were.  However, Fiona’s work wasn’t done with just those two, she still had Debbie, Carl, and Liam. They came first just like Ian and Lip did. She managed to marry Jim/Steve Litchman, but that only happened after years of him gaining her trust back. She eventually ended up saying yes to his marriage proposal, yet again after the 20th time of him asking her. Of course she kept Gallagher as her last name and Jim/Steve even changed his name last name to Gallagher. For some reason it just felt right.   Jimmy was a med student when he met Fiona. Things between them were rocky, but after all the lying he managed to gain Fiona’s love back. It wasn’t easy for him to gain her trust back, but in the end he eventually did. He had finished up medical school and his internship when he asked Fiona to marry him, and now he’s a well-respected doctor. Fiona had been working two jobs at one point in her life to both support her family, but also help Jimmy, Lip and Ian with school, as well as maintain and keeping track of Debbie, Carl, and Liam. So when Jimmy got the position at the hospital and was making good money; he decided to take all the Gallagher’s and moved them into a nice house up on the north side of Chicago. A better area, better schools, plus since Fiona still wanted to keep on working she would be able. One of her main jobs that she had was close and convent for her. Since all 3 men in her life were done with school, and have been for a few years, Fiona wanted to invest in herself. She had been thinking about it for some time now. Debbie would be able to get school grants to pay for school, along with the paid internship she been going after for. She wanted to be a nurse, so Debbie was applying to all internship as well as scholarships. Carl still didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life, but he was keeping up with his grades in school and was doing amazing. And well for Liam, it would be a while before he needed money for college or anything like that. Lip graduating college passing his bar exam and now working in a law firm as a paid intern, Jimmy as a doctor and Ian who decided to join the army for 3 years after graduating college who was now a cop; it felt like it was time for Fiona to have something she always wanted to do. Fiona always wanted to be her own boss, make her own money, and make sure that Debbie, Carl, and Liam were good to go to college or do whatever it is they wanted to do after high school.   With the support of Jimmy of course and Lip helping with legal fees and permits and what not; Fiona thought it would be a good thing to invest in Patsy’s Diner where she worked at for years supporting her family. Her current/old boss was moving away and selling the place. So there was going to be new management, however Fiona knew the ins and outs of the business. She was the store manager, in some ways more like the boss. She handled inventor, kept up with the books, new all the vendors, which dealt with her only because her boss was an ass to them. She purchased new things and replace things that needed to be replaced. She knew it all and then some. When the permits needed to be renew she was on top of them. She hired new employees when necessary; she fired employees when they were doing their job, she even did payroll. How she managed to do all this and then some was determination, but it was her hard work. When I mean she knew the business she sure did. So with the help of her family she took out a small loan, because her and Jimmy put up most of the money for the diner and she bought the Diner. Fiona was now the proud owner of one of the best well known Diners on the North side of Chicago.     *******************   Fiona loved all of her employees they were like family to her, especially one in particular. Mickey.  Mickey was always tough and willing to work long hours and kick anyone ass out who gave anyone one trouble. Especially when it came to Fiona, he was willing to knock anyone out for her. Fiona wished she had more employees like Mickey. Some days Mickey would come in tired but not all the time. As long as he had his black coffee with 6 sugars sometimes 7 he was okay.  Plus the bonus thing about knowing Mickey and loving him was Mickey’s son Yevgeny. Little man was adorable and Fiona loved him like her own. He always called her aunty Fi or titi Fiona. At first that wasn’t okay with Mickey, but as the years went on Fiona became family to Mickey and she saw Mickey as family as well. Yev loved her so much, and she loved him just the same. Fiona would do anything for Mickey because to her, he was family. Gallagher or not Mickey and Yevgeny Milkovich were family. Blood could not make them any less than that even though Mickey was always quiet about his life most of the time, which Fi didn’t mind she loved that about him. She saw him to be family. Mickey’s a single dad raising a kid on his own, not many people would do that especially in the situation he’s been in. She knew most people would check out on life and check out on their kid, and leaving them with anyone to care for them. But Not Mickey, he didn’t do that. Never once since she’s known Mickey has he ever checked out on Yev…Well, except that one time she thought she lost both of them, but that didn’t happen because Mickey didn’t let it happen. Fiona gave him more respect because he was doing it on his own. Like with no one to help him. No family, no brothers or sister, mom or dad, aunt, uncles, cousins, just no one. There had been times when she had helped Mickey out, but she knew how hard it can be on your own with no one to fall on to or support you. That was the scare part of life. Having no one, but no matter what Fiona always let Mickey know she was there for him. In any way she knew how to.   Mickey was the head waiter of the diner when their old boss Glenn was running the joint, and he still was. Fiona wanted to promote him now as the manager of the diner since she was now the new owner of the place. It was Mickey who had convinced her to go ahead, and buy the diner. Since Jimmy and her were well off now and doing well, Mickey suggested she buy the diner and finally be her own boss just like she wanted. Plus he told her “I honestly don’t want another fucking boss I don’t know or like. And if I lose my job for breaking his mouth, whose gonna take care of Yev if I get locked up.” “Mickey! What if the new owner is a women?” She asked Mickey. Mickey gave her a face of ‘are you fucking kidding me’ then said “Well then I’ll pay Debbie to bitch slap her!” Fiona knew everything about the business, she was just scared to take a leap at it, but with a lot of convincing and talking with Mickey, she went for it. Turned out to be the best thing she could have done. Since she was the new owner she wanted her replacement to someone she knew and trusted. Who better else then her best fucking friend in the world! But Mickey declined the offer because he said his second job took up some, if not most of his nights now. Fiona didn’t even know he had a second job until a few years ago when she found out that he was offered the manager position before her but he turned it down. Mickey told Glenn that Fiona would be a better choice for the business. It turned out it was because he’s second job would have gotten in the way of things. But even if he didn’t have a second job, Mickey told her she would do a much better job than him.    Meeting Mickey was one of the most interesting things that ever happened to Fiona. Mickey had started working at the dinner 3 months before her years ago. That was over about 10 years ago sort of.  When Fiona met Mickey, he was quiet, to himself and didn’t interact with the other employee staff; only the customers. Fiona didn’t even know Mickey had a son until about going on two years of her and Mickey working at Pasty’s Diner together. Mickey had suddenly taken off and Fiona had offered to cover his shifts. She wondered why he didn’t show up. Being a Gallagher, Fiona was the noisy one.    8_½_years_ago. Fiona came into the diner and went straight into the back room and got changed in the girl’s locker room. When she came out of the locker room she saw that Mickey was already taking orders and giving out foods to customers. It had been the first time she seen him in 2 weeks. She wasn’t close or even friends with the young man, but for some reason she worried about him. When the crowd at the diner finally died down, it was closing time and everyone was cleaning up and restocking things that need to be restocked. Fiona took this opportunity to see how Mickey was and find out what happened to him for a whole week almost 2 for him to not be at work.   “Hey Mickey! I haven’t seen you in like almost 2 weeks. How are you? Everything fine?” Fiona asked.   Mickey looked at Fiona with an annoying look “I’m fine why?”   “You sure, because you look like shit, like you’re warned out. Plus… you’re pouring ketchup into the syrup bottle by the way.” Fiona said giggling a little.   Mickey looked up at her and then at what he was doing. “Oh shit! Fuck!” he said and threw the bottle in the sink to clean it out. Fiona could tell he was out of it.    “Hey it’s okay Mickey, it happens. Shit it’s happened to me plenty of times….but seriously you do look like shit and I mean I don’t mean to pry or anything but….”   “But what Gallagher huh? Spilt it the fuck out already!” Mickey said to her annoyed already and tired from doing a 16hour shift.   Fiona was slightly taken back, but not affected by Mickey’s behavior at all. “It’s just that…as long as I’ve worked here, you’ve never taken off from work! And you took like almost two weeks…. I mean I covered your shifts and everything but….I mean are you sure every things okay?” Fiona asked in concern.   “It’s none of your fucking business Fiona okay!...I’m fine Everything is Fine!” Mickey said to her, but when she was about to walk away Fiona stopped. She looked back at Mickey expecting him to tell her to fuck off like he did. But what she saw Mickey was at the brink of tears she couldn’t walk away from him. Mickey put the heel of his hand to his eyes and wiped them away.   When Fiona saw this, she instantly went to him and hugged him tight. She whispered to him “It’s okay Mickey…it’s okay.” She then let go of him and try to make him look at her but he didn’t. “Hey I’m sorry okay, whatever it is, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry or bring any emotions up…but it’s gonna be okay whatever it is Mickey.” Fiona said softly to him almost motherly like.   Mickey didn’t know he was crying until Fiona was wiping his tears away from his face and looked at him with sad face. “Mickey, are you sure you don’t want to talk about it….Look I swear I won’t tell anyone okay…whatever it is I won’t say a thing okay.” Fiona said to him   Mickey’s mind was racing; he thought no one knew what it was like to be him; a single teenage dad on his own. Only his boss knew about his situation, none of the co-workers knew. The fact that Yev got sick and he had to miss work for almost two weeks of pay hurt their pockets badly. But what was worse was that Yev got sick and wasn’t getting better and he didn’t know what to do at that point. He didn’t want leave Yev to come to work; he didn’t want go anywhere away from him. He still wanted to be with his son right now. That was what was on his mind all day. His son! He’d been calling Mandy throughout the day to check up on Yev. He had asked Mandy to send him a text if anything happened. It was overwhelming for him because no one knew what he was going through. Mandy help when she could but talking to her was hard. She wasn’t his best friend, who he wished was there with him.   It was just so hard; he didn’t know who to turn to or what to do. It was always the late night cries that would wake him up at night, the coughing, the fevers that would spike up and then having to take Yev into the hospital for emergency care, because his fever wouldn’t go down was painful for him. It hurt to see his son in pain and knowing he couldn’t do anything about it and that hurt the worse of all. Neither he nor Mandy could get his fever to go down and it scared the shit out of Mickey. Mickey honestly thought he was going to lose Yevgeny. He was so small and Yev was his life! Take that away from Mickey and he has nothing to live for. Yev was almost 2 years old now and Mickey was mentally drained with it all. Bills, work, sick baby, things for the house, bitchy sister, more bills, sick baby, even bitchier sister, work, work, work! Over and over again it was like trying to swim to the surface from underwater, but it felt like he was getting nowhere. He was all alone trying to care of his son; so right now him crying in front of Fiona was new to him. And maybe he needed someone to talk to; to let it out all out in the air, because right now the lack of sleep, and him worrying over Yevgeny was killing him.   “My son….He um…he got sick. I haven’t slept and then I had to miss work and he just…he went home last week, and the doctors did test on him. The doctor said he should be fine. We got the results back and he is fine but then-.” Mickey sighs. “It’s just that-he hasn’t stopped crying and he’s been keeping me up at night and he doesn’t have a fever any more. But then he got sick again with a fever and then I took him back, and then the medical bill came in. He’s with my sister right now but she’s a pain in an ass and is complaining all the time. Especially today because she’s pissed off at me because she can’t go on her fucking date today because I’m working and she with Yev! She told me she would help, but instead of texting me about Yevgeny and letting me know if he’s okay and how he’s doing--she just been complaining and saying when am I going to come home. And then I’m here tired as fuck and talking to you and it still seems like--Fuck!” was all Mickey could say after letting it all out in a shaking breathe.   This was when Fiona found out about Mickey’s son, Yevgeny. She didn’t say anything for a moment and just took in what Mickey told her. ‘He was a dad! Oh shit Mickey was a young teenage Dad!’ Fiona thought to herself. She didn’t know what to say to him at that moment, but she figured she should ask the first thing that came to mind. Thinking maybe that distracting him could help ease his mind a little.   “How old is your son?” Fiona asked softly   Mickey looks at Fiona for a moment then says to her. “Almost 2… He’s gotten sick before but…this time for some reason it was worse.”   “What’s his name again?” Fiona asked again softly to Mickey. She heard Mickey say his name but she figured it was the best way to distract him.   Mickey laughed a little “Yevgeny.”   Fiona smiles and is especially smiling hard when she see Mickey’s eyes light up when he says his name. She knows she shouldn’t pry too much into Mickey’s life but she wanted to know ‘Where was Yev’s mom at?’ “Hey um…if you don’t mind me asking; where is your sons mom at? Does anyone help you with him?”   Mickey had tensed up when Fiona asked about Yev’s mom, but after a few seconds of thinking about it he thought he might as well just tell her since he already told her about Yev. He just wasn’t going to give too much away. Mickey didn’t trust anyone, hasn’t in a long time. “His mother isn’t in the picture… and ah my sister helps but only when it’s convent for her and ain’t being a bitch.” Mickey said looking away from Fiona   Fiona looked surprisingly shocked “Damn! That’s a lot to handle being a single parent and doing it on your own. I remember when I was about 8 years old and I take my younger brother to the hospital because he was sick. He kept crying saying his eyes hurt and he was coughing really bad.  My sister Debbie was a new born and she got sick too, I had to get both of them to a doctor fast…I mean I had other little brother Lip to help me out but I know how hard it can be to take care of someone so small and be scared you know…Shit as the years went by it got crazy, but trust me I know how you feel.”   Mickey looked at Fiona now “Yeah but you’re not a single parent, you had someone there regardless.”   Fiona smiled at Mickey and shook her head. “Yeah, but I raised 5 brothers and sisters all alone on my own. Actually I’m still raising them! I’m right now helping my two younger brothers putting them through school. One who in his 1st year of college and the other one is on his 2nd year. The other 3 are still at home and I have a job to do. I mean I have Jimmy, but he’s on my shit list at the moment and but at the end of the day. It’s still all me and all they have is me, even before Jimmy and after him. I’ve been doing it on my own for a long time Mick. My siblings may not be my children, but they are my children. If they makes any sense to you at all.”   Mickey tilted his head to the side and looked at her Fiona and gave her a small smirk “Yeah…I guess that sort of makes you a parent none the less…..It’s just…I just feel like I’m gonna fuck the kid up. He’s the only thing I got left of hope you know.” Mickey said and put his head down. He doesn’t want to start crying again.   Fiona gets up and goes to Mickey again and hugs him close for a moment. When she is done she leans back and gives him a reassuring smile and a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry Mick; See if you fuck up, I fuck up. And trust you and me, I have fucked up. Trust me, this job I got a year and a half ago I got because I’m on probation and because my Paroral officer helped me out with it. My boyfriend is a piece of shit that keeps coming back to me and I keep taking him back because well….because I love him. He’s a good person and has a good heart; but he’s just such an asshole who fucks up, and he has a bad habit of not telling me the truth sometimes. It’s like I have to get it out of him or something and he seems afraid of me or some shit...” Fiona said trailing off at the end. She notice she was rambling and stopped   Mickey looked at Fiona in a different way for a moment before he spoke. “Shit you’re on probation? What the fuck for? The fuck could you have possible have done?”   “You know drugs, child endangerment shit like that. So you see I’ve fucked up, but I’m making up for it the best way I can. I got custody of my siblings when I was 21 and I didn’t make the best choices. I just got lose around the way…But after words, I showed my siblings and the courts that I can get my shit together. I almost lost them” Fiona said emotionally. “But I still have my kids and you still have your son no matter what Mickey.” Fiona said and smiled at Mickey   Mickey nodded his head at her and gave her a small smile. It was ever since then that Mickey and Fiona became really good close friends. He would describe her as family and she would describe him just the same.   Present_Day Mickey walked into the Diner and he was exhausted, he came home pretty late last night from his other job. He was able to get some sleep, but had to get up early for his morning shift at the diner and get Yev to school early for breakfast.   “Hey Mick, what’s up?” Fiona said from behind the counter   “Nothing…Just fucking tired.” Mickey yarns out. “I got in late this morning and got some sleep, but I had to wake up and get Yev to school early.” Mickey said yarning again while walking to the coffee Machine and makes himself his daily cup of black coffee.   Fiona looks at Mickey with a small smile “Shit! Your, other job?” she asked   Mickey has his eyes closed and is drinking his coffee as he answers Fiona “Yeah man” was all he said tiredly.   “You know you never told me what kind of job you have at night you know?” Fiona asked   Mickey didn’t want to say what kind of job he had. In all the years he’s known Fiona he’s always been able to dodge the question or tell her to stop being fucking noisy. So he told her what he told anyone his second job was “A bouncer Fiona…at one of the clubs in boys town.” It wasn’t far from the truth he would go to Boys-Town for his job, so that wasn’t far from the truth. Just that he wasn’t a bouncer per say. He really didn’t need anyone to know his business, but Fiona wasn’t just anyone. Even though he loved her like a sister he couldn’t tell her the truth without the feeling of her judging him in the wrong way.   “Huh? That’s cool I guess. I’m assuming they pay pretty fucking good if you’ve been doing it for this long and are tired when you come to work some days.” Fiona said giving him a questionable look. Mickey knew that look all too well   “Yeah I mean it’s great. Plus the extra pay helps to pay off the fucking medical bills that seem to never be paid off.  And then with rent, food and all the other shit like Yev’s after school programs. It helps still having this job and being able to still have the one at least.” Mickey said to her   Fiona frowned; she knew Mickey situation and knew it could happen again. She sighed then spoke a moment later. “Well I still want you as my manager here Mick. That position will always and will be yours whenever you want it… And I told you, me and Jimmy can help out with the medical bills Mick. You know it’s not-” Fiona tries to say.   But Mickey cut her off, shake his head as he speak. “No! No Fi, I got this okay. And as far as the position goes you really should consider giving it to someone else. What happens if something comes up again and I have to take off longer than a month like I did before a few years back? The only reason Glenn didn’t fire me was because he knew the situation and so do you. I was fucking grateful that he even still paid me my 40 plus hours here even though I didn’t want to take. But I can’t take that risk again and you just go the place Fi. I can’t do that you. Not if it happens again.” Mickey said   Fiona looked at Mickey like he was crazy. “Look Mick, I understand, trust me you know I understand okay….Just really think about it okay. I’ll pay you more money of course. That way you’re able to be here and you can be with Yevgeny more at home.” Mickey looked at Fiona raising his eye brow giving her a challenging look. She did the same thing to him until a minute pass by. She just sighed and said “Just think about it first okay.” Was all Fiona said and went to go help out with some of the tables in the restaurant.   Little did Fiona know, Mickey had been thinking about the offer over and over again in his head. It was just that the money from his night job was way better and plus he had his regular people at night. And he would manage to get other customers if he thought it was best. Then again his night job was a risky one, and it was dangerous. When Yev was 8 years old he found Mickey in the bathroom floor bleeding and in pain. Mickey got hurt pretty bad and tried to make a joke about it saying to Yev that “you should see the other guy.” But Yevgeny was so scared he almost called Fiona and 911, but Mickey stopped him. It made Yev scared and Mickey made a promise to him to never get hurt again. But then again Mickey couldn’t really keep that promise, because shit happens all the time. Being able to prevent it was easy for now. Mickey has been able to do that so far since then, but he would never be too sure. Yeah he’s night job was fast money and easy money. If Svetlana knew she would fuck Mickey up that’s for sure.   *************************   After Mickey shift was over at the diner, he went to go pick up Yev from his after school program. As always Yev was happy to see his dad and no matter what kind of day Mickey was having; being with his son was the best thing ever. Those two were more than father and son. They were best friends, just like how he and Svetlana were, and Mickey cherished that so much.   “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!” Yev said running to his father.   “Yeeeeev” Mickey said back laughing. “You ready to go see Mama little man?” Mickey asked Yev   Yev face lit up and he pulled out the card he made for his mother and a book he wanted to read to her. Mickey brought Chamomile and Thistle flowers one of Svetlana favorites. She will like them. Yev was happy that his dad always kept his promise to him when it came to go seeing his mom.   “Yes daddy I’m ready to go see mama.” Yev said smiling brightly at Mickey and Mickey couldn’t help but notice he has her smile. And so they were off to go see her.       Coming back from seeing Svetlana had always got Mickey and Yev down, but for some reason little man made sure that he showed his dad he was okay. He would even try and make jokes about things and they would laugh. Yev always did imitations of people or cartoons that would always have Mickey cracking up.   Mickey and Yevgeny made it to their apartment building back up on the North side of Chicago. They’ve been living in the 1 bedroom apartment for about over 8 years now. Going up the stairs to their apartment they saw a tall man pale skin, red hair bright as fuck might I add; man. The man was struggling with some boxes. Mickey notice he was trying to get into the apartment across from where he and Yev lived.   “Hey you want some help?” Mickey found himself asking the guy, the very tall handsome muscular guy. Mickey apparently startled the tall handsome red guy making him drop the boxes he had in his hand on to the floor.   “Shit!” Said the tall handsome guy as he then looked over at Mickey and smiled. “That obvious huh?” The redhead said to Mickey.   Mickey smiled at him, laughing and nodding his head while holding Yev’s hand “Yeah man it’s pretty fucking obvious. So…do you need help or not?” Mickey asked again.   The redhead smiled at Mickey and nodded his head back as well. “Yeah that would be great thanks!” He said and extended his hand out to Mickey. “I’m Ian by the way.” Ian said to Mickey   “Mickey, and this is my son Yev.” Mickey said while pointing at Yev.   “Hi!” Yev said to Ian and Ian said Hi back to him. Mickey and helped Ian with his boxes into his apartment. Mickey couldn’t help but observe the place as he walked in and helped out Ian. It was pretty big apartment; as soon as you walked in to the left there was the kitchen and to your right were two closets. The sala was straight ahead and it was pretty big as far as he could tell. The apartment had a wide and yet short path to the sala as you went through it. From the sala Mickey could tell that there was a room, most likely Ian’s bedroom on the left and it looked pretty big from where he placed the boxes down at in the sala. To the right was the bathroom, he knew that because Yev asked to use the bathroom. And there was another small room that Mickey could tell was there next to the bathroom. This place was sure nice and Mickey hoped one day he can get something like this for Yev and him, until now their content with the one bedroom apartment they have right now.   Mickey finished places the rest of the boxes down on the sofa like Ian told him to. Yev was helping out at first, but only now he was playing with Ian’s small dog. ‘Great’ Mickey thought to himself, now he’s going to get an ear full of why they should have a dog in their small apartment. Yev had asked for one before and he managed to bribe the kid out of it, but now Mickey knew he would surely remember and ask again….Damn this Ian guy…Damn him for trying to be nice….Damn Ian for bending down in front of him and forcing Mickey to check out his ass and be like DAMN!   “Well ah we should head to my place.” Mickey said out loud and Ian looked up at him with a surprised facial expression raising his eye brows up at Mickey giving him a small faint smirk. Then Mickey realized what he said and shook his head no. “No, no, no, I mean me and Yev, we should um head back home-not me and you. I mean no not that-no I um…Yeah.” Mickey said as he was turning red from the embarrassment and Yevgeny wasn’t making it any better as he was laughing at his father now. Mickey gave him a look of betrayal. All the while as Ian’s grin became wider the more Mickey blushed.   Thank god for Yevgeny breaking the awkward moment now. “Hey dad can we have pork chops with mash potatoes!? Can we please! And can you make the potatoes with lumps!” Yev said smiling up at his dad.   “Yeah! Yeah of course little man I can make that.” Mickey said and thank god Mickey was now focused on Yev and not Ian.   Yev turned to Ian “IAN! Would you like to joins us!” Yev said and bang! There it goes; Yev really needed to work on his ability to not make Mickey want to jump off the roof or learn to not be too settle.   Mickey looked directly at Ian, and Ian looked directly back at him with a smile on his face as he answer Yev. “Well um only if your dad says its fine, then yes I don’t mind.” Ian found himself saying now looking back at Yev then back at Mickey. And so yeah he did find this guy cute, but fucking shit! There like a 50 percent chance his straight. Fuckin Aye man!  “I mean if its fine with your mom Yev and she wouldn’t mind either to of course?” Ian said right after not knowing of course that Yev was sensitive of that subject.   Yev frowned a bit and looked away. “No she won’t, she can’t. It’s just me and my dad…no mom.” Yev said sadly to Ian.   Of course Ian felt like a complete and utter dick now. “I’m so sorry I-I- I didn’t know.” Ian said.   Mickey cut him off quick “It’s okay” Mickey said “It’s just been me and Yev for a long time now. I have custody of him.” Mickey said looking at Yev who seemed to distract himself with Ian’s dog   “Okay well…Yev I’ll come to dinner! Only if you want me to and only if your dad says it’s alright.” Ian said gently.   Yev looked at Mickey for confirmation as if he was secretly saying and telling his dad to ‘say yes’.  Mickey wanted to say no but for some reason that’s not what came out of his mouth. “Yeah sure… it’s not a problem!” came out of Mickey’s mouth like nothing. He thought to himself ‘great, not only did he make an ass out of himself and now he has to make dinner which is not a problem, but he just invited and said yes to a hot guy. One who is probably straight and not gay… and yeah that can be a problem. How would he be able to concentrate on cooking now with a hot guy in his apartment? Mickey had a plan for this “Yeah so Ima cook and when the foods done…I’ll ah-just have Yev go knock on your door yeah?” Mickey said to Ian quickly.   Ian smiled at Mickey. “Yeah sure that actually great. I’m just gonna go get cleaned up and put some of this stuff away while I wait.” Ian said and they parted ways.   ********   When Mickey opened his and Yev’s apartment door he was relieved. Than when he closed it he looked at Yev who had the only devilish smile on his face. He was grinning really hard at his dad right now and Mickey wanted to kick his son ass for the first time in a long time.   “Yev what the fuck is the matter with you?” Mickey asked   “What?” Yev said innocently   “Yevgeny seriously? What’s with inviting that guy Ian over for Dinner?” Mickey said out right.   “Well dad you need to get out more and meet new people!” Yev says and turns around to get something to drink from the refrigerator as Mickey following him the kitchen. “Plus he looks cute enough and I saw you checking him out.”   Mickey looks at his son likes he’s grown two fucking heads. Yeah he regretted telling his son he was gay, but come the fuck on “What! I –No! No okay I wasn’t checking him out, and plus anyway how the fuck would you know if he was cute or not. You’re only 10 years old and not gay Yev.” Mickey says to his son   Yev looks at his dad and gives him the same raised up eye brows that Mickey gives Yev when he knows he’s lying. “Dad…seriously. I might be 10 and not gay, but I’m not naïve. Plus I got way better gaydar then you.” Yev simply tells his dad like it’s nothing.   Mickey sometimes swear he’s in some sort of freaking alternate universe of a world where his son is actually out to get him or pimp him out. Either way, the shit Yev does always seems to amaze Mickey. “Like fuck you do! I can tell he’s not gay Yev….plus he wasn’t even checking me out okay.” Mickey says as he rolls his eyes.   “Dad yes he is. Ian is gay and he was checking you out by the way.” Yev tells his dad as he walks out of the kitchen towards his room to go do his homework.   “No he wasn’t!” Mickey said   “Yes he was!” Yev said quickly   “No he wasn’t!” Mickey says back instantly   “Yes he was! OMG dad really, how old are you? I swear sometimes with you!” And Mickey is looking at Yev like he’s gone crazy. How did he go from being the parent to being the child in a matter of less than 10 minutes? “Look dad you know you could have said no right?” Yev ends up telling him   Mickey is silent for a moment “….I was being nice okay. You know neighbor friendly…yeah neighbor friendly. Plus he just moved in and he didn’t look like he had food that was ready to eat or make, and you decided to invite and get his hopes up so I had to say yes Yev.” Even Yev knew that was bullshit, but Mickey just tried to play it off.   Yev rolled his eyes at Mickey. “Yeah okay sure, if you want to go with that. But I know the truth dad, you think he’s hot and you want to do thing to him because you thinks he’s hot. Good for you Dad!” Yev said laughing at his father who was now turning red and blushing badly.   “NO! No I don’t okay….Now go get washed up and do your homework while I cook.” Mickey said   “FINE! Wait till titi Fi hears about this!” Yevgeny said yelling while running into his room.   Mickey turned around trying to catch Yev but the fucker was faster than him.  Just what he needed was for Fiona to get involved asking him about this new guy, and wanting him to tell her about the new mystery man across the hall. Fiona tried one time to set Mickey up with her young brother, but Mickey never met any of Fiona’s brothers only Carl, and Liam. The other two he never cared to ask about them since they were away and having their own life. Anyway Mickey told her ‘Hell No’.   Plus right now with his night job, and his full time job being a dad and working at the diner, there really was no time for a social life. And Mickey was not about to quit his night job for some guy or any guy. Right now he just wanted to take care of him and Yev; Yevgeny was his priority. Mickey cleans up a bit after putting the potatoes to boil on the stove. He goes takes a short shower and once he’s done he gets out and gets himself dressed, since he couldn’t stay in his boxers. No thanks to Yev inviting Ian over.   Once the mash potatoes were done and the pork chops were cooked, Dinner was almost ready! Mickey told Yev go knock on Ian’s door to go get him and see if he still wanted to have dinner with them. Yev ran out the front door in a heartbeat. Mickey rolled his eyes as his son left the house. He noted that his son was a bit too excited for Ian to come over. Mickey groaned out loud and waited for his son to come back with the hot tall red head handsome fucking guy name Ian…Ian!? The name sounded familiar to Mickey but he couldn’t get his finger on where he knew the name from. But that thought was slipped from his mind, because Mickey wasn’t thinking about that anymore. As soon as his door up and closed a few minutes later after Yev left. He turned around and said “Wow”. ***** Realization ! ***** Chapter Summary A dinner and the later on movie night. By Mickey knows he can't get to close to Ian because he's a cop and with his other job it just would work Chapter Notes So I hope you like this chapter. I love your comment and kudos they really are great. Later Also all mistake are my own, don't have a beta so I will try as often to go back and fix it. Right now I'm work on the next chapter and the other chapter to "I know who I am don't I?" So I hope you guys enjoy this chapter let me know what yah think See the end of the chapter for more notes When Yev came back with Ian a few minutes later Mickey could not deny that Ian looked fucking good. Ian washed up from what Mickey could tell and man oh man did he look like a god. Mickey had to stop from staring to long at Ian. He let the words “wow” slip out and Ian just smiled at Mickey. Mickey’s eyes drifted all over Ian’s body and Mickey could tell he worked out. God if he didn’t stop starting at Ian he would end up drooling and jumping on Ian in a heartbeat.   “Hey” Ian said breaking Mickeys concentration   “Um hey I-So just take a seat at the table and I‘ll bring the food out okay.” Mickey said and turned around quickly Ian smiled as Yev gave him a thumps up.   Ian found it to be cute when Yev went to go get him. Yev had asked Ian if he was gay and the kid had not boundaries what so ever. Ian had laughed and asked why then Yev flat out said “Because my dad’s gay and he needs someone to take care of him and love him and since all my dad does is take care of me. He needs a husband….So are you gay or not?” Yev said to Ian   Ian to say the least was stuck on stupid for a moment, before Yev said something again. “I mean I hope that’s not a problem right? Because If you’re not than that’s fine.....This means I just lost a bet with my dad.” Yev groaned out “Great now I have to do the dishes for a month.” Yev huffed out.   Ian laughed and Yev looked at him like he was crazy. After Ian stopped laughing he looked at Yev and the young boy looked at Ian glaring at his punishment which he would soon face due to a lost bet. Ian then spoke. “No. No. No no trust me it’s not a problem it’s just that you don’t get a lot of people especially a kid that asks  you 'if our gay or not, and if they want to date there dad."   “oh yeah okay I see that .” Yev said nodding his head   “Yeah so I guess you win your bet then huh.” Ian said and Yev and a smile on his face that was priceless. Especially when he yelled out “YES!.”     Now Yev and Ian were sitting at the table as Mickey brought out the food. They all sat down at the table starting to have dinner. It was weird and Mickey so wants to ground Yev right now, who by the way is smiling so fucking bright at Mickey that you would swear is was his birthday or Christmas. Mickey then decided to ask Yev why he was so fucking cheery and smiling for “What? Why the fuck are you smiling for like that?”   “Oh nothing, just that I don’t have to do the dishes for a month.” Yev said as he started laughing and Mickey nearly choked on his food. Ian was laughing as well and he turned to look at Mickey still laughing at him. Mickey nodded to Ian in a form of ‘thanks a lot’ and Ian smiled.    Mickey looked at Yev and then at Ian, but returned his gaze back on Yev again “Oh yeah? And how the fuck would do you know you won the bet, plus-“  Mickey tried to say   That was when Ian decided to say something “Because he asked me flat out, if I was gay. Then when I didn’t answer him he thought I had a problem with it, but I told him that no I didn’t and then he told me about the bet and I laughed and told him he that well technically he won.”  Ian said while laughing   Mickey looked at Yev like he was crazy “Yevgeny!”   Yev looked at Mickey instantly with innocent eyes “What? How else was I going to know dad?” Yev simply said   “Yev you can’t just do that. What if Ian wasn’t huh? Then it would look like you’re pimping me out or worse, like I use you to get guys.” Mickey said to Yev   “Weeeeell. It wouldn’t be the first time.” Yev said and Ian laughed at that.   “That was one time Yev and I asked you first and you were fine with it.” Mickey said defensively   “True. Plus that guy wasn’t even all that, so I refuse to count that as the one time you use me to pick up a guy.  Hey but what about that time at the supermarket? Or when we went to the doctors and we got the free metro cards?” Mickey wanted to kill Yev at this moment “But I mean at least Ian looks way better.” Yev finishing saying   Mickey looked at his son and blushed at that last statement. Because yeah Mickey did think Ian was hot. Ian on the other hand was watching the two men across from him and was laughing from his seat as he blushed at the comment Yev said.   “And what are you laughing at Freckles?’ Mickey said to Ian and Ian shook his head.   “I’m laughing at the both of you actually. I think you guys are fucking hilarious.” Ian said   “Oh really okay….okay so if I do this.” Mickey for some reason scooped up a spoon of mash potatoes and flung it at Ian. Where it hit Ian right in the middle of his face. “So is it still funny now?” Mickey said   Ian was surprised at the fact that Mickey threw a spoon fill of mash potatoes at him. His mouth dropped open and his face was priceless. Ian touched his face and laughed. Mickey was laughing and so was Yev. That was until Ian picked up a spoon full of corn and mash potatoes and flung it back at Mickey; hitting Mickey on the side of his face and hair. “Now that is funny…huh? Who would have known?” Ian said now while licking the spoon clean and laughing at Mickey.   Yev was quiet for a moment, but then smiled when he saw what his dad did next. Mickey laughed! But this laugh was of a ‘oh yeah’ kind of laugh. “No-no-no-no, that wasn’t funny.” Mickey said now standing up from his chair “But this is!” Mickey took a hand full of mash potatoes and smeared it on Ian’s face and hair. Mickey stepped back and was laughing as he was sucking on his finger and said “Now that; that’s fucking funny, more like fucking hilarious to me if ask.” Mickey said while pointing at Ian who had yet another facial expression of both amusement and shock on his face.   Yev was just on the side lines as he was watching all of this shit his dad and his new friend/neighbor were doing to each other. This food fight was crazy, not even Yev can do this shit and get away with it in school if he tried.   Ian wiped the mash potatoes off his face as best as he could even licking his lips and nodded his head. “Ooooh it is on my friend.” Ian said calmly as he stood up looking at Mickey with a dork smile on his face   “Oh yeah bring it Freckles!” Mickey teased and taunted at Ian laughing at him.   Mickey and Ian were literally having a food fight in the kitchen of Mickey and Yevs house; all the while as Yev was sitting back eating his food and laughing at both men who were throwing bits of food at each other and trying to dunk out the way of each-others aim.   Mickey throws a hand full of corn at Ian, who then throws more mash potatoes at Mickey. Mickey then decided to play dirty and grabbed the water hose from the kitchen sink. He started to spray Ian with water and they were both laughing. Ian tried to grab the hose from Mickey and Mickey tried to keep it away from him; but Ian being Ian and him being tall, he was able to grab the hose from Mickey and started spraying him with water.   When Mickey tried to turn around to get away, Ian grabbed Mickey and turned him back around holding him in place and started to spray more water down his shirt getting it more soaked in water than it was. Mickey did try to stop Ian but that didn’t go so well, he then remember that he can just as easily turn off the water. So he does that and now him and Ian are laughing together and both men are breathless. Mickey catches his breath and goes picks up a towel and dries his face off. He then goes and give the towel to Ian who takes it willingly and tries to dry himself off now.   When Ian finishes with the towel he hands to Mickey who takes it from him, but only Ian is still holding on to the towel as Mickey grabs it. Both men are now looking at each other. They both stare at each other for a moment and then somehow lean forward towards each other and then…..Then they kissed. There was no tongue or anything like that it was a simple open mouth kiss that was amazing. They both felt a spark of sensation in a good way. Both Ian and Mickey had their eyes closed and yes they wanted to ripe each-others clothes off, but they didn’t. Mickey and Ian seemed to pull away from one another at the same moment and while doing that they both said at the same time “I can’t”   Mickey raised his eye brows just as Ian did. They both ended up saying again at the same time “What?” They laughed at each other but it was Mickey who spoke first.   “Okay I guess we both can’t huh?” Mickey said looking at Ian then away from him   “Seems like it yeah.” Ian simple said still not taking his eyes off of Mickey, Mickey then looked at him.   Mickey smiled at Ian but it was a sad smile. Seems like Ian couldn’t commit to anything after all, so no relationship for either of them. Mickey wondered why Ian couldn’t commit to a relationship. I mean he was a fucking catch, but it wasn’t in his place to ask why Ian can’t. But Maybe they can be friends at least Mickey thought to himself. “Yeah, with me having a full time job and then another part time job at night and being a full time dad, I'm you know-really don’t have time for a social life sadly.”   “Hey don’t worry about it, my job is pretty demanding. Plus I just moved back to Chicago from New York, so I’m trying to readjust to things and shit. Plus I’m currently still trying to get over my last shitty ass relationship…But”   When Ian didn’t say anything after the Mickey when ahead “But what?” Mickey repeated back to Ian looking at him.   “But you are hot” Ian said laughing “But we can be friends and I would like to have that more than anything. It would be nice to actually have friends again.” Ian said to Mickey   “I would like that to.” Mickey said smiling at Ian.   They stared at each other and it was just then that they were both taken out of there daze that they heard a young Yevgeny say. “Awww MAN!” Both men looked away from each other and saw Yevgeny at the door way of the kitchen with his arms folded over his chest. Mickey looked at his son and shook his head, while Ian smiled at him.   “So you really were trying to hook me and your dad up? Is that they only reason why you actually invited me over here and not out of the kindness of your heart?” Ian asked teasing the little man in front of him.   “Honestly….YES! I told you my dad needs a man, more like a husband to take care of him!” Ian just chuckled, but it was Mickey who was giving Yevgeny the death stare.   “YEVGENY!” Mickey shouted   “WHAT! You need someone dad and I need another parent. Plus statics show that gay parents are way better at raising kids; giving them lot of nature and nurture, which I need of course as I get older.” Yev said trying to be funny but in a way was serious as well.   “Oh. My. God!” Mickey says as he runs his hands over his face and shakes his head in disbelief that his own son is literally trying to set him up.  Ian laughed and Mickey couldn’t help but laugh, because Ian‘s laugh was contagious “Look little man, me and Ian ain’t happening okay. Where just gonna be friends and neighborly and shit okay?” Mickey said   Yev looked unimpressed at both men; he huffed loudly and dropped his arms from his chest “FIIIINEA” Yev said annoyed at both Ian and Mickey. Yev thought for sure his dad would like Ian and that Ian would like his dad. I mean Ian was his dad type Yev thought. But then again ever gay guy was his dad’s type; as long as it would get his dad someone that is willing to help him raise a kid, and provided for them Yev would be okay. Yev didn’t like that his dad second job and he wished he could find someone so that way he didn’t have to do his stupid night job any more.   Most of the time Yev felt really bad; the reason why he felt bad was because he knew he was the reason why his dad worked that stupid dumb job. Mickey didn’t lie to Yev especially when he came home that one time and Yev woke up and found him on the floor of their bathroom with bruises and cuts on him. It scared the shit out of Yev. Mickey got hurt sometimes badly bit he always told Yev that he “should see the other.’ But when something like that happened that was when Mickey would stop doing business with that person.   Yev was Mickeys priority and with that being said he wasn’t about to make Yev an orphan.   Mickey was about to get out desert after him and Ian cleaned up the kitchen, plus Yev insisted on Ian staying for desert any way. The fucker was being very persistent, just than Ian’s phone rang. Ian looked at it and saw it was work.   “Shit I have to take this” He says and walks out the kitchen as he answer his phone “Officer Gal-Fuck really? Shit okay I’ll be there soon” Ian said   Mickey snapped his head up when he heard Ian say officer. “Shit” Mickey says lowly to himself and looked at Yev, who was looking at his dad with his eyes wide open. Yev had to be thinking the same thing Mickey was thinking. Holly shit Ian is a cop…fuck that’s bad!   Ian walks back into the kitchen and looks at Mickey with an apologetic smile “Sorry Mickey, sorry Yev I have to go to work… See what I mean when I say my job is demanding, short notice and what not.” Ian said to Mickey with a small smile on his face   Mickey smiled and nodded his head “Hey so what you do again?” Mickey asked   It’s not that Ina wasn’t proud of his job, he loved it actually. It was just that a usually whenever someone head that he was a cop they would act differently around him. He didn’t want Mickey to do that “A cop…I’m a cop. There was a shooting incident and they need all available hands. I’m sorry I have to go like this all of a sudden.”   Mickey shakes his head and smiles back at Ian “No, no it’s fine, I mean another time if you want. Most likely Yev will invite you over again, and if you need anything just knock on the door okay that’s what neighbors are for right?” Mickey said to Ian calmly   “Yeah….again I’m sorry I have to eat and run.” Ian said   “Dude look, it’s not a problem okay. Here takes some cookies for yourself. You know so you can stay energetic or some shit.” Mickey gave Ian some chocolate chip cookies.   Ian took them smiling at Mickey “Thank Mick. See yah Yev.” Ian’s and then left to his apartment to go get changed and head out to his job.   Meanwhile mickey was playing it cool for his sack. Mickey’s night job was in danger and so were Yev and him at least that’s how he thought it to be. Now that he had found out Ian was a cop he had to be very extra careful around him. His new neighbor/new friend in the making, and yes hot fucking guy he found very attractive was a cop. FUCK! Things would get messy. But as so as Ian said his name Mick like the way he did before he left Mickey’s apartment. Man did Mickey’s stomach flipped around and he could tell he was blushing, but Ian was a cop Mickey kept reminding himself. And never mind Mickey found him attractive…he was just so fucked now.   ***************************   A couple of weeks after they first met Ian and Mickey rarely saw each other. They would occasionally say hi and bye when Ian would be coming home from work during a graveyard shift he picked up or evening shift. He would see Mickey go to work either in the morning while he was taking Yev to school. Or he would see him during the evening when he most likely was going to his second job. He would look different than, he would be clean cut, with a nice button down shirt with either jeans on or slacks. Sometimes he would see Mickey just wear a regular black V t-shirt with black jeans that made him look even hotter than ever.     Now whenever Mickey would see Ian he would get nervous. Either he was taking Yev to school and then from their head to the Diner or he would see Ian at night for when he left for his second job. Mickey wondered if Ian ever was to ask about his second job and he lied to Ian would he know? He did however really and I mean really, really like the way Ian looked in his uniform. Sometimes Ian would catch Mickey staring at him and he would grin at Mickey. Mickey always of course blushed and licked his lips biting down on it and smiling.   There were a few times that Ian wished he could go over to Mickey and show him what was under his uniform. But then he would remember he couldn’t. Not now any ways, plus even Mickey couldn’t commit to relationship. It seemed that what Mickey said was really true; being a full time dad, and having two jobs he rarely go to see him, and when he did well. You can tell both men cherished the stare they gave one another.   It was one morning that Mickey was coming home from his second job on a Saturday morning that he bumped into Ian.   “Hey” Ian said   “Oh hey man.” Mickey said quickly has he was making his way towards the elevator to go upstairs to his apartment. Ian was walking the same way as well. Mickey couldn’t help but look at Ian again and admire the way Ian looked in his uniform. Boy was he hot in his dark navy blue pants and this tight uniform shirt with his muscles showing. God Mickey thought what Ian could do with those and how he could lift him and …. Shit no Mickey had to stop thinking of what Ian could do to him, because then he would get hard and then Ian would see and then….fuck no he just had to stop thinking now.   “So you’re getting in pretty late from your job huh?” Ian said to Mickey as they both entered the elevator.   Mickey turned to look at Ian who was on the other side of the elevator. “Yeah, I had to stay out a little extra late, but it’s okay.” Mickey simply says and he’s pulling his coat tighter around him hoping Ian couldn’t smell anything on him. Normally whenever Mickey would be getting home, Yev would be sound asleep and there would be no one inside or outside of the building. So right now this was a bit awkward seeing someone let alone Ian early this morning.   All Mickey wanted to do was get inside his apartment and wash up and sleep a few hours. He was off today from the diner so right now today was his and Yev’s day. “Okay well I hope Yev’s babysitter didn’t mind staying late.” Ian said   Mickey just nodded his head at Ian; Ian didn’t need to know he left Yev by himself most nights. It’s not that Mickey was a bad parent; it was just that sometimes he didn’t want to bother Fiona with watching Yev. He didn’t have Mandy anymore since their big falling out, and he didn’t want to always bother Fiona because nights like these where he had to stay out late would have made Fiona worried about him and Yev. This would lead to question that Mickey didn’t want to answer and would not answer truthfully to Fiona.   “Nah yeah, my babysitter she’s okay with it and all.” Mickey said briefly not wanting to say anymore.   “Good….so ah I was wonder do you and Yev wanna go out for brunch today.” Mickey looked at Ian shocked but Ian quickly Saif "Not like a date or whatever but to like repay you back from the dinner and food fight we had a couple weeks ago. You know since I had to leave on such as short notice because my job called me.” Ian said to Mickey as they exist the elevator and made their way to their apartment doors.   “Um that would be great, but today is actually me and Yev’s day. We either go out or stay home and watch movies and eat a bunch of junk food.” Mickey said to Ian as he was leaning up against his door. He could tell Ian was slightly disappointed so what came out of his mouth next Mickey hoped he wouldn’t regret. “But if you want…later on…I mean you can come over and watch a movie with us.”   Ian was opening his door as he smiled at what Mickey said “Yeah, yeah sure. What time should I come over?” Ian said in excitement, as his dog came to greet him at the door.   “Well its 5 am now so maybe around 5pm, I should be up more and we can order some take out or some shit.” Mickey said tiredly as he opened his door was half way in the door waiting for Ian’s response.   “Yeah that would great, I should be rested as well….So I’ll see you later?” Ian said   “Yeah! ..... Later Ian.” Mickey said and entered his apartment.     When Mickey walked into his apartment at 5:06 am he was exhausted. The first thing he did was remove his sneakers and walk to Yev’s room. He sees Yev in his bed resting and smiles. He’s just how Mickey left him in his bed. Mickey walks over to Yev and lightly brushes the hair across Yev’s forehead to the side. He smiles down at his son and gives him a kiss on his forehead. Yev smiles in his sleep whenever Mickey kisses him on the forehead or cheek. Mickey can’t help but smile down at his son and think of Svetlana. Whenever she would sleep and Mickey would give her a kiss, she would smile to in her sleep.   Mickey got up and started to leave Yev’s room, when he turned around to look at his son again he couldn’t help but feel sad.  He wished things were different, but he was dealt these cards and he has to play them. Even if that means playing them dirty just to make sure that everything will be okay for him and Yev.   Mickey goes and removes all of his clothes in the bathroom, he runs the shower and get in. He lets the hot water hit him and closes his eyes. He leans his forehead against the shower tiles, letting the hot water consume him. He washes himself over and scrubs his body hard, he lets the water become colder and just stays under it. He puts his face under the shower and tries to hold tears back; none of them fall, but he so wants them to, but he can’t afford to do that. Once he’s done in the shower he goes to the living and pulls out the sofa bed, where he falls asleep instantly as soon as he lays down just like every night.     Yev wakes up at 10am; he goes to the sala and sees his dad sleeping. He walks over and kisses his dad on the cheek and Mickey moves around a little. Yev smiles at his dad and is happy he’s home safe again. He goes brushes his teeth washes his face and goes to pour himself a bowl of cereal. He eats his bowl of cereal like he does every Saturday in the kitchen so he doesn’t wake his dad up. Once he’s done he goes to the sala and turns the TV on really low, he climbs on the sofa bed with his dad and lies next to him watching TV.   Mickey turns around because he feels a warm body next to him. He knows its Yev so he blindly puts his arm over his son and holds him as Yev watches TV. This is an every Saturday things for them, and both boy enjoy it. Mickey is sleeping while Yev plays with is hair and Yev is being cuddled by his dad as he watches cartoons on Disney channel or Cartoon network. They stay like that until Mickey wakes up; Yev never minds just staying in bed with his dad all Saturday morning as long as he’s with his dad, he didn’t care.   Mickey starts to wake up around 2:30 and that when he starts to tickle Yev. Yev starts giggling and Mickey looks up at him with a sleepy face “mourning?” Mickey says to Yev   Yev shakes his head no “No daddy it’s the afternoon now.” Yev says smiling at his dad.   “Hmmmmm…yeah okay.” Mickey says and lays his head down on Yev stomach. Yev is laughing and puts his hands on his dad head. Both young men stay laying there for a while. Mickey then looks up at Yev and say “Hey so Ian is gonna come over later to watch a movie with us, is that okay?” Mickey ask Yev   Yev smiles brightly at that “Yes! That’s so awesome dad. Is it like a date?” Yev asked   Mickey groaned and rolled over. “No Yev…It’s not a date okay. Friends remember, me and Ian are friends more like neighbors okay.” Mickey says to Yev getting up from the sofa bed.   “Awww come on dad, go out with Ian, come on I can go to titi Fiona’s today and you guys can do whatever it is grown-ups do on dates that leads to bed hair.” Yev said so causal.   Mickey had to do a double look at Yev “Yev! No okay, plus today is our day, and I invited Ian because he kinda asked us out on a date today and I want spend my day with you and you at home like we always do.” Mickey said to Yev   Yev had a curious facial expression “Wait? You said that Ian asked us out, as in me and you?”   “Yeah for like running out when you invited him over for dinner that night a couple weeks ago.” Mickey said to Yev as he cracked his back   “Oh, but dad come on…you know Ian’s a good guy, I mean he’s a cop.” Yev says now sitting up looking at his dad.   Mickey looks at his son now and shakes his head “Yev…No okay, you know I can’t, plus him being a cop complicates things and you know that. He could arrest me and then you would go into the system and I would kill anyone before I let that shit happen.” Mickey said to Yev “Plus he doesn’t know our situation, he wouldn’t understand why I do what I do. He wouldn’t get it, and I’m not about to sit here and tell him. I don’t know him or who he is. All I know is his first, that he lives across the hall from us, has a dog and is a cop. I don't even his last name let alone his age.”   “Okay But look dad…if maybe you explained to him.” Yev tried to say   “Yevgeny no! No okay, plus let’s just say I tell him okay, what are the chances that he’s going to want to even be with him after that. Not to mention he even said he’s not ready to commit to anything yet remember? And the whole dating this it can get complicated because what if he doesn't work? You're hurt I'm hurt and were fucked. I can't Yev I can't risk that. ” Mickey said to Yev   Yev looked defeated and looked back at the TV and sighed, he knew his dad was right “fine dad.” Yev said and Mickey saw how upset Yev was.   “Hey little man look at me.” Yev looked at Mickey “I’m fine okay; I don’t need anyone to take care of me or you. I got this, and plus I’m fine with it being you and me. Okay?” Mickey said and Yev nodded and smiled at his dad. “Okay now let’s get ready, Ian supposed to be here at 5pm alright, now get your ass up. Let’s go chop, chop.”   Yev groan again and got up, he was comfortable staying in bed all day. He wasn’t like many other kids and Mickey was happy for that.     5 o’clock came and Ian was knocking on Mickey’s door, he was nervous but then again why should he be? This wasn’t a date; him and Mickey were neighbors, friend neighbors. Never mind Ian found the guy attractive.   When the door opened Ian smiled at the person in front of him. “Hey Yev”   “Hi Ian come in.” Yev said and Ian followed him. “Dad ordered Pizza, it’s in the sala, and he went to go get some juice we ran out. I’m not allowed to drink soda. Do you want water?” Yev said   “Ah yeah sure Yev.” Ian said but was curious to know that Mickey left Yev by himself. Mickey could have asked Ian to watch Yev while he went to the store. I mean the kid was 10 years old but still. “hey um Yev does your dad leave alone a lot of the times to go to the store or whatever?”  Ian asked and he knew he shouldn’t be prying in other people’s business, he just met Mickey and he was sure Mickey was a good dad and wouldn’t leave Yev alone.   Yev was thrown off by the question, but luckily for him, he wasn’t facing Ian because if he was then what he said next Ian would knew it was a lie “What? No. Why? Dad has never left me alone. He just knew you were coming over and told me if it were you to let you in. He said I had to look at the peak hole before I opened the door, which I did and if it was you I could open the door because well it’s you.” Yev said.   Ian nodded at that and smile, he accepted that answer and found it to be logical. Just then Mickey came in with two bags of juice in his hand “Yev!”   “Hey dad in the sala! Ian’s here by the way!” Yev called out to his dad.   Mickey made his way over to the sala and saw both men sitting on the sofa. Yev was getting the Netflix ready, and had a pizza already in his hand and Ian looked at him and smile. “Hey man” Mickey said   “Hey Mick, so what’d you get?” Ian asked   “Orange juice, and some cranberry, Yev not allowed to drink soda. Only water or juice and milk of course.” Mickey said and places the drink on the coffee table and sat in the middle of the sofa with Yev on his left side and Ian on his right “Go for it man; take a slice of pizza. Enjoy.” Mickey simply said and took a slice a pizza and started Ian as Yev was choosing at movie.   “Dad I don’t know what to pick? Do we watch a shows or movies?” Yev said   “Well what shows they got?” Mickey said   “Well of course we have Naruto, Soul eater, death note which we have to finish watching by the way. Oh there’s girl meet world! Hey dad what Sense8?” Yev asked   “Something you’re not watching.” Mickey said quickly   “Fine. How about…” Yev said and kept scrolling “We can always watch Arrow? I know how you like Oliver” Yev teased his dad   “YEV!” Mickey said looking at him then looked at Ian “I don’t like, like him…I just think he’s cool and shit.” Mickey said then turned back to Yev. “Yev lets watch a movie instead of show then since we can’t decide.”   Yev kept scrolling and him and Mickey kept on debating which Ian found to be cute and funny. They decided to go with watching Big Daddy since it was a comedy movie, then they watched a Nightmare Before Christmas. Between all three of them, they ate all the pizza and drank all of the juice that was there. It was a good night, all three both men and one little man joked and laughed. They talked about nothing and silly things like which anime was better and if Batman could beat Superman. That was a highly discussed thing amongst Yev and Ian as both of them tried to get their point across. Mickey smiled at both of them especially when Yev said that Batman could totally beat superman than explain to Ian why. Even when Ian tried to shoot down something Yev said, Yev had an answer for everything, which leads to Ian giving in.   It was getting late and Yev was falling asleep on Mickey; Mickey picked up a now sleepy Yev and carried him to this room where he tucked him in. Yev was already in his pj’s so it was easy to put him in bed. When he kissed Yev goodnight Mickey walked back into the sala. Ian was standing up and smiled at Mickey   “I had a fun night Mickey, Yev is amazing.” Ian said with a smile   “Thanks man. It was nice having you over, and even nicer to see how you lost a debate against a 10 year old.” Mickey laughed   Ian laughed at that as well “Hey he wasn’t giving up not to mention a lot of shit he said made more sense and Batman would and could do all that. He got it, Batman could beat superman.” Ian said with a smile   “Yeah well I could have told you that you were gonna lose. It’s not his first time having that conversation with someone.” Mickey said to Ian chuckling   “Oh well thank a lot for that.” Ian laughed and stepped closer to Mickey. Ian had his hands in his pocket and was rocking back and forward. “So I should be heading home now. I got work in the morning. But I’ll see you around right?” Ian said   Mickey smiled at that “Yeah, yeah you will, whenever I’m taking Yev to school.” Mickey said   “Or when you’re leaving for your second job.” Ian added   Mickey face fell a little but not enough for Ian to realize it “Yeah, that to.” Mickey said   Mickey walked Ian to the door and opened it to let the tall man out. “So I’ll see yah yeah?” Mickey said   Ian turned around and kissed Mickey on cheek and smile at him “Yeah I hope so.”  Ian said and walked across to his door and looked back looking at Mickey and walked in his apartment.   Mickey was still shocked at what just happened. Ian gave him a kiss on the cheek? What does that mean? I mean friend do that right? FUCK! Mickey closed his door and locked, he was brought out if his thought when his phone went off. It was a reminder text for Monday night for his second job. “Fuck me man.” Mickey said to himself and began to clean up the sala so he can go to bed. Chapter End Notes So what you think so far? Let me know ***** The Meet and Greet ...LOL ***** Chapter Notes Okay so here the next chapter I hope you guys like it. THere are some past scene I wrote in here and it may or may not make sense but it will later on. There is mention of drug use in here so please be aware of that. I love all your comments and kudos and love lol. I'm still working on the other Fic dont think I abandon my baby I havent. I just need to write this chapter out and get it out there. So let me know what yah think. xoxoxoxoxoxo See the end of the chapter for more notes It was just another week day at the diner; it wasn’t too busy, but busy enough to keep Mickey and the other waiters working. Fiona went to go pick up Yev and Liam from school since he offered to cover one of the girls shift today. So when Mickey was finishing up an order he was little surprise at who he saw when he turned around and heard the bell on the door go off. Mickey never told Ian where he worked at or what he did for a living, and they never got that far or too personal in their conversation. Just that one time in his apartment for Movie night, almost a week and half ago and they talked about dumb weird random shit. So here was Ian at his diner….maybe this can be a good thing right?   Ian walked over to Mickey once he saw him and sat down on the stood in front of him. Mickey smiled at Ian and to say that his cheeks turned red was an understatement “So this is where you work huh?” Ian said with a smile on his face.   Mickey was wiping down the counter as he answered Ian “Yup. So that’s what you wear when you’re on duty?” Mickey said pointing at Ian who was wearing a plan white t-shirt and black sweat pants and a black beanie hat on his head.   Ian laughed and shook his head “No this is my lazy day look.” Ian said looking down at himself and then back at Mickey licking his lips.   Mickey raised his eye brows and try not to think of Ian’s lips “Oh yeah, well that’s a good look on you.” Mickey said back and oh shit yeah…yup he was flirting with Ian, when he knew he shouldn’t. Ian opened his mouth slightly and smiled at Mickey blushing red. “So you wanna order something or just look at my handsome face all day?” Mickey said yet again and he was smiling at biting his button lip. ‘God what am I doing?’ Mickey thought to himself   Ian smiled at Mickey and nodded his head “Well I can do both actually, Can’t I?”   Mickey leaned on the counter giving Ian a smirk “hmmm Yeah? I guess you can, but that depends”   Ian leaned in on the counter looking Mickey directly in the eyes “Depends on what?” Ian shot back at Mickey   Mickey still had that same smirk on his face and leaned in towards Ian so and whispered in his ear in a low sexual voice “Depends on if you tip is good enough.” Mickey said and chuckled leaning back off the counter and continued to wipe the counter.   Ian nodded his head at Mickey, he was a little not to say thrown off, but he was so turned on right now. He was about to say something when   “Daddy!” Yevgeny said “Uncle Mickey” Liam said both at the same time as they ran over to Mickey as Mickey came from behind the counter and hugged both boys. No one still hadn’t notice Ian was there yet until Liam and Yev turned around and saw him   “IAN!” Both boys called out and ran to hug Ian who happily hugged both boys and gave a kiss to Liam on his forehead.   Mickey was now slightly confused as Liam hugging and holding on to Ian. “Liam you know Ian?” Mickey asked and just then Fiona walks in.   Fiona goes gives Mickey a tap kiss like she always does, and then spots Ian. Ian of course was taken back slightly at the gestures of how Fiona greeted her employees but then his thoughts are quickly cut off from Fiona speaking “Hey Pumpkin I didn’t know you were gonna be here today!? You should have a called me, I would have gotten these rugrats earlier.” Fiona said as she hugging her little brother, while Mickey is still in shock and dumfounded.   Mickey walks over back to the counter and is in front of both of them “Pumpkin!? Fi how do you know Ian?”   Fiona laughed at Mickey while shaking her head at Mickey’s confused facial expression “Of course I know him Mick. I raised his tall sorry ass, and all of my other siblings as well.” Fiona said while scuffling Ian’s hair as he was trying to bat her hand away and looked at her.   “Fi, Mickey works for you? Since when?” Ian said looking at her then at Mickey   “Yeah duh, he was the waiter I tried to hook you up with when you were home a few years ago.” She then turns to Mickey and said. “And he was the brother I tried to set you up with but you said No!” When they both looked at each other in shock Fiona looked at them and asked both men “Wait! How do you know two know each other?”   That was when Yev decided it was best to cut in an answer for them “Aunt Fi, Ian’s the guy I told you about? The one that dad and him would be awesome together but they both said No, because their dumb and old!” Yev said and ran behind Fiona as Mickey shot him a look.   Fiona just laughed and Liam decided to defend his brother “Ian’s not Dumb Yev!”   Ian looked at Liam smiling saying “Thank you Liam.”   “You’re welcome! You’re not dumb well you can be stupid….no you’re just slow. Plus Uncle Mickey is Brilliant!” Liam said proudly. Mickey gave Liam a high five while Ian gave his little brother the finger. Liam and Yev just laughed.   Fiona smacks Ian on the head for his gesture towards Liam “Okay you guys go sit at your normal booth and start on homework now. I’ll get you guys the usual.”   “Okay!” Liam and Yev said at the same time and both boys ran to their normal booth.   So that left Fiona to deal with Ian and Mickey; oh what joy that will be. “Sooooo you guys like each other; I-mean live next to each other? Hmph and you both are very single.” She said she thought she was being subtle but she wasn’t. Then she pointed to Ian while looking at Mickey. “Ian here loves kids.” She then looked at Ian and said “Mickey loves a man who’s tall and muscular and he has to love Yev.” She then stepped back and looked at both of them crossing her arms against her chest in a playfully man “Yet you both know this, and you still won’t hook?” Fiona then clapped her hands together and leaned back up against the counter looking at both Mickey and Ian.   Mickey looked at Fiona unimpressed “Fi come on man. You know with being here full time and being a dad full time and my other job I can’t. No social life for me and I’m okay with that shit. Plus not when I’m almost done with everything.” Mickey said to Fiona who just rolled her eyes are Mickey and looked at Ian for his answer.   Ian shook his head and rolled his eyes at his sister “Don’t look at me like that Fi! I got just got back to Chicago, and I just want to settle down first and you know get back into a routine at least….(He sigh) Plus with the last asshole Fi.”   “But Mickey’s not an asshole!” She then pushed her lips to the left and made a face and said “Okay maybe he can be an asshole (Mickey flipped her off and Fiona laughed) But at least he’s not a fucking cheating scumbag cock sucking mother fucking prick!”  Fiona said in a harsh tone. There was no hiding the fact that she didn’t like Ian’s ex-boyfriend.   Ian looked at his sister with a not so shocked yet still surprising face, whiling nodding his head. Mickey was trying hard to hold in a laugh by covering his mouth and clearing his throat. “Jeeeze Fi! Tell me what you really thought of Arthur!” Ian said   That was when Mickey cut in “Arthur!? Arthur? Who the fuck names there kid Arthur? That’s just all sorts of fucked up man…. You dated. A guy name Arthur; now that’s ah that’s just….wow wrong oh so wrong.” Mickey said while laughing and Fiona jumped in laughing and said ‘I know right!”   Ian however didn’t find it funny and wasn’t laughing. He gave them both the middle then said “Fuck yah both okay. What kind of name is Fiona or Mickey?”   “Fiona is an awesome name and Mickey is a cool one okay; minus the whole Mickey mouse thing.” Fiona said and started laughing   Mickey shoved Fiona playfully “Fuck you Fi!” Mickey with no heat behind his voice and was still laughing but then   “Ha ha ha ha laugh it up okay, so his parents named him Arthur? It’s not that bad okay….I mean come the fuck on you said you were gonna name your first daughter like what Bella or some shit.” Ian said   Then Mickey busted out laughing harder even more again “What from like Twilight Light or some shit?” He said looking at Fiona and she gave him the finger now and punched him in the arm when she walked past him to place the order for the boys.   “Oh shut up!” Fiona said, and that was when Ian said to Mickey   “Oh you should not be laughing okay. Who names their kid Yevgeny anyway huh? Its unique but come on” Ian said chuckling but Mickey stop laughing and cleared his throat. Fiona stopped as well and motions Ian to stop chuckling.   “His mother.” Mickey simply said looking away from Ian trying to look around and find something else to do   “What? “ Ian said looking at Mickey   Mickey cleared his throat again “His mother…Yev’s mom, she’s the one who name him.” Mickey said and then turned around when heard the cook shout out the order for the boys. He quickly turned and grabbed the plates of food that was for Yev and Liam and looked at Fiona “Ima go take my break now okay.” He said to her   Fiona nodded her head and said “Okay sure go ahead I got this.”   Mickey left quickly with the plates of food going towards Yev and Liam not looking at Ian at all. Mickey sat down with the boy and gave them their foods and started to listen to them talk about what Carmen Ginsberg and how she had peed on herself today because Ms. Gilbert was mean and made the whole class wait to go to the bathroom.  Liam warned Yev about that teacher he had her the year before last, Liam was older than Yev but always looked out for him in school. Mickey sat there and listen to them talk and smiled at Yev. He may have looked like Mickey, but in many ways he was all Svetlana. Especially his smile; his smile is just like hers and Mickey loved to see Yev smile all the time, and the goofy weird sense of humor he had; yeah that is Svetlana as well.  Yev’s temper though he didn’t know if it was his or Svet’s that he could never tell. That was all her, and Mickey, and missed her….he missed his best friend so much, miss talking to her and hearing her voice. Hearing her laugh and say words in English that still sounded weird at times.                                                                Ian was taken back by what just happened. He didn’t expect Mickey to just leave quickly like that and he just left. He was sitting with his son and little brother, but still it was like Mickey did a complete 360 on him. Ian turned to Fiona who was cleaning the counter. “So Fi…You’ve known Mickey for how long?” Ian asked Fiona who looked up at him and smiled.   “Since I first started working here; he was working here 3 months before me. I didn’t really get to know Mickey till about a year and a half later of working here. See he didn’t come in for about almost 2 week and I don’t know….I guess I got worried about him. When he didn’t show up I mean, but then I found out he had a son so.” Fiona stopped what she was saying and looked over to where Mickey, Yev and Liam where at. Then she looked back at Ian and said “Look Ian, I love Mickey like he’s my brother okay. Him and Yev have had it hard over the years, but do me one favor okay…Don’t ever mention Yev’s mom. Just in case you and Mick for whatever reason by a god’s miracle chance, you know you and him get together. Or if it may happen that me or Yev somehow set you guys up because I will make it happen.” She said with a smile on her face   Ian looked like he was about to say something and before he can ask or say anything Fiona cut him off “It’s a hard subject for Mickey to talk about when it comes to Yev’s mom. And NO! I won’t tell you a damn thing. If he wants you to know, then he’ll tell yah when he wants to or not.” Fiona said and shrugged her shoulders   Ian just nodded to Fiona and she placed a cheese burger and fries in front of him and then went to go handle some customers.  Ian decided to take his food and go sit with the 2 new men in his life now that he wanted to get to know more about them, and of course the one man in his life who definitely has his heart, his little brother.   “Can I sit down and eat with you guys too?” Ian asked and Mickey looked up at him and gave him a small smile.   Mickey looked at Yev and Liam “What you guys say? Should he sit with us? I mean we are royalty and this is our booth. No strangers allowed” Mickey said playfully looking at Ian as Liam and Yev laughed.   “Tio Mickey I thought we said no girls allowed?” Liam said   “Yeah dad!” Yev said   Mickey nodded his head and laughed harder “Yeah so that means Ian can’t sit here!?” And Ian gave Mickey the middle finger and kicked his leg as Mickey continued on laughing.   Ian sat down across from Mickey next to Yev. He poured a large amount of ketchup on his plate and stared dipping his fries in it and eating as he was listening to the boys talk. Mickey then went ahead and grabbed a fry from Ian’s plate and ate it smiling at Ian “Hey get your own!” Ian said   “Fuck that! Sharing is caring Freckles.” Mickey said while grabbing more fries from Ian’s plate while Ian tried and failed to slap Mickeys had away. Ian eventually gave up and let Mickey takes his fries. Liam and Yev were having an interesting conversation about Batman and the Joker. Mickey was listening and would put his input in every so often.   “Oh come on dad! The only reason why you think Poison Ivy is so awesome is because she has red hair.” Yev said with an evil grin. That made Mickey glare at his son as he blushed at what Yev said.   Liam laughed and said “Yeah Tio he’s right the only reason why is for her red hair. Plus! anyways Cat women is way better.”   “OMG No she’s not! The joker is the most ultimate Villain EVER! Better then all of them. I mean he is literally Batman’s arch enemy. He’s his ying to his yang. Without Batman, the world would not have the Joker and vice versa man.” Yev said so passionately.   “Oh. My. God! I buy you way too many comics I swear I’m thinking about cutting you off them.” Mickey said to his son   That was when Yev looked at his dad and gave him a serious death look “DAD! Do you want me to make your life miserable? Because if you stop buying me comics I will, and I can!” Yev said   Mickey looked at his son and gave him a challenging look “HA HA HA You’re not fuckin funny little man. Try that shit and you will be grounded. You think you can be funny with that?” Mickey said   “But I am Funny…Yes, Yes I am! And I’m Cute too!” Yev said sticking his tongue out at his dad.   Mickey laughed “God your fucking ego complex is up the roof I swear.”   “Well Fi says we’re handsome and should be proud to be sexy little men.” Liam now said   “Yeah Fiona says a lot of shit, too much if you ask me.” Mickey said eating some of Liam’s fries now   “Oh Come on Uncle Mickey. I mean look at us.” Liam leaned across the table and put his and Yev’s face side to side together and both boys smiled “How can you not say were not handsome sexy little men!?” Liam said   Mickey looked at both of them and gave them a face “yeah nah you sister got issues I don’t know what she talking about.” Mickey said laughing   Liam and Yev laughed and both said together “yeah but you love it!” Liam and Yev laughed harder while they were eating their food.   Mickey was trying hard not to pay attention to them but couldn’t because Ian and him well I wouldn’t say footsie under the table more like they were playfully kicking each other. Like they were teenager or some shit. None the less it made Mickey feel something, and it made Ian smile wider.  Mickey rolled his eyes at everyone at the table but smiled at Ian and Ian gave him a smile back. When Mickey’s break was down he left to go bust some tables. Yev and Liam stood at their booth doing their homework and Ian stayed with them and helped them whenever they needed help.   When Mickey was done with his shift he quickly got ready to head out. Yev already knew his dad shift was coming to an end so he made sure all his homework was done. When Mickey came back to the table Yev hopped up and got his coat on. Mickey didn’t know that Ian was still there, he figured he left it being his day off from work and shit.   “Hey you’re leaving already?” Ian asked   “Ah yeah, my shift is over and I gotta get ready for work tonight. And plus I like to put Yev to bed before I leave to work.” Mickey said to Ian   “Oh okay, so I guess I’ll see in the building or in here maybe whenever.” Ian said “Or I mean I can always visit you; you since we’re neighbors and all.” Ian said   Mickey laughed “Yeah sure whatever you say Freckles.”   “It’s Ian!” Ian shouted out over his shoulder smiling back at Mickey shyly   Mickey blushed at Ian “No, No its freckles.” Mickey said while zipping up his coat and making sure Yev was covered up. Mickey looked back and waved bye to Fiona and Liam “Later Ian” and then he and Yev left.     It had been a few days since Ian saw Mickey again, after the diner and after finding out that he worked for his sister. Ian couldn’t help but want to know more about Mickey. He was quiet to himself, which sparked an interesting in Ian. He tried to get things out of Fiona, but she said “If you wanna know so much about him ask him you’re fucking self, because I’m not telling you a god damn thing.” So with that every chance he got when he saw Mickey either in the hallway or at the diner he would try to have a small conversation with him here and there. Some about sports, shit about what was his favorite foods, or other mindless things. They flirted Ian knew he was flirting with Mickey, and Mickey would flirt back, but he seemed to catch himself and stop.   So here Ian was home bored out of his mind with nothing to do. He could always go out, he’s off tomorrow and doesn’t have to go see Fiona till later. So going out to clubs should be a fun, plus it would be a plus side if he got laid. A mindless person to just fuck, no strong attach, nothing. Yeah that exactly what he’s going to do, get dressed look fucking hot and go fuck someone.   ********   Mickey was walking into Hydrate’s one of Chicago most well-known gay dance clubs, he walked in and wait straight to the back and went upstairs to the owner door. Mickey knocked 5 times like he always did and the door opened. The owner his client and an old dear friend of his Charlie were sitting down at the desk looking over the a few things on the computer.   Charlie looked up and smiled “Hey Mickey, give me a second okay and then we can down to business.” He said Mickey nodded his head and took off his jacket and threw it across the sofa. He made his way to the back room and waited for Charlie to come. In the back room there was a bar and an overview of the club and a big circle table. The club at Hydrate’s was always live; this Northside club had everything and the bartenders here were pretty cute, the events that Charlie would have for the club were always awesome. Mickey had to admit he didn’t like Sunday’s until he came to Charlie’s club when he invited him to Sunday funday night at the club.   Now normally Mickey met up with Charlie on Tuesdays when the club was closed and again on Sunday’s, but now Charlie wanted to do business not only on Sundays and Tuesdays, there regular but now on Fridays. Mickey had no complains the more money he can make the better. See Mickey would get some of his clients from Charlie club or Charlie would recommend them. Like the unknown senators son, who rather not let his family or the public know he comes to a gay club.    Anyways Charlie was an old friend of Mickey’s and Svetlana, so they went way back. But Charlie also knew what business was. So him and Mickey always had a understanding about that. And well, Charlie owns a club, a popular one at that. So Mickey was always able to go out into the crowd and do business when he needed it, and Charlie always had his back. Charlie had been one of the few people that he trusted and that was saying a lot since the only other people he trust where Fiona and Jimmy, but to a certain extent of course.   “Yo! Are you getting high without me?” Charlie asked.   Mickey turned around from looking out over the club threw the one way mirror, and was met with a 6 foot 1 man with dark brown hair. Charlie had green hazel eyes that anyone would get lost in; Charlie was well built, and you just knew he had one hell of a six pack. Mickey well you can see he admire it a few times.  “Of course I’m getting fucking High without…You take to damn long.” Mickey said while looking out at the club from up top.  Charlie laughed and walked over to Mickey grabbing the blunt from his hand. Mickey looked at him and shook his head. “You took the pills already didn’t you? And now you’re fucking smoking my personal shit? Fuck Charlie I swear sometimes you getting high can be a bad thing.” Mickey said   “Hey fuck you!” Charlie said taking a hit holding it then releasing it. “Running this club and the others is hard work man…This is the only time I get to release and feel relaxed.” Charlie said   Mickey smiled “Awww are you saying I relax you?” Mickey laughed   “No, me getting high relaxes me, you’re just an added bonus being here my dear friend!” Charlie said and again he was laughing   “Fuuuuuck you!” Mickey said going over and pouring himself a glass of Hennessey   “So am I the last visit for the night?” Charlie asked   Mickey nodded his head yes and took a sip of his drink “Yeah!” he said as he took in the burning sensation going down his throat from the drink. “Like always. Why?”   Charlie shook his head “Nah I just wanted to know, that way you get home safe to Yev.” Charlie said to Mickey.   Charlie of course knew about Yev again they’ve been friends for a long time “You know he misses you right? He said he hasn’t gotten to see his “tio” in a while…you should stop by one day and surprise him;  he would really like it.” Mickey said to Charlie   “Yeah” Charlie sighed. “I do miss little man, been awhile, but you know why….but hey does he still want a dog?”   “No! no fucking dogs Charlie! It’s bad enough I have to deal with him asking me to go play with our neighbors dog, and Yev and Ian think I don’t know Yev goes over there sometimes to play with his dog when I’m sleeping.” Mickey said shaking his head and grunted   That sparked something in Charlie and he smiled at Mickey “Miiiiiickey! DO I detect a fondness of said neighbor named Ian? And who the fuck is Ian? You haven’t mentioned him before?” Charlie said   Mickey was mute and Charlie gave him a knowing look so he caved in “Ian’s some new guy live across from me, who happens to be gay and guess what? He’s Fiona’s little brother.” Mickeys said with a smirk   “Okay so what’s so bad with that?” Charlie asked looking at Mickey like he was crazy   “He’s a cop.” Mickey said deadpan   “Shhhiiiiiit. Yeah. That complicates things…You sure he doesn’t know what you do at night? Like does he see you or some shit?” Charlie asked in concern for Mickey   “He sees me, but he doesn’t know what I do. I’m assuming Fiona probably told him I work as a bouncer in the club. I just didn’t tell her which club.” Mickey said. Fiona and Charlie meet a few years ago by accident and well Mickey introduced them to each other. Fiona thought that Charlie was Mickey boyfriend and he shut that down quick.  She liked him and he like her, but they never hung out or anything like that, and Mickey appreciated that. Charlie was his friend besides one of the people he does business with. Fiona didn’t know what Charlie did for a living, but Charlie knew what Fiona did. Plus Fiona was like his family, his sister and friend to Mickey; two different worlds that were a part from one another; and that was good for Mickey.   “Well I mean it would be good for you to stop- and before you say anything you know I would spot you the money or even give it to you. It’s the least thing I can do. Svet would want me to.” Charlie said “I went to go visit for her birthday a few weeks ago.”   “No! No okay we’ve had this discussing before, we do business that’s the only way I’m taking money from you.” Mickey said defensively this reminded him again a few years ago when he found out he was doing business with Charlie for the first time.   6_½_years_ago   Mickey was dressed all in black; black slacks, black button down shirt and black shoes. His hair was styled and he had silver cuff lings on. Yev was okay where he was at, and Mickey well Mickey wasn’t sure if he should be doing this. He needed the money, and well if he got caught he would be sent to jail and Yev would be put in the system. He had no choice; he had to do what he had to do in order to make fast cash.   He got the address to a few places he had to stop by, the first one being a club he knew about. Mickey went ahead called a cab and got there on time. He took out his job phone and text the client to meet him outside near the alley around the corner from the club. Mickey wasn’t sure if this person was legit or an uncover cop, but right now he would soon find out. He heard footsteps coming his way. “Mickey?” When Mickey turned around he was hit with a familiar face.   “Oh shit! Charlie? Charlie you’re-“   Charlie quickly cut him off “Ah yeah” There was silence among the men now “Look let’s go upstairs to my office, we can do business their instead of down here. Cops can catch us and I will be in a shit storm of trouble as well as you.”   “Wait you own this place?” Mickey asked as he was shocked he hadn’t seen Charlie in a lone time not since….   “Yeah why?” Charlie said to Mickey   “Svetlana never told me that.” Mickey said   Charlie smiled “Svetlana had known was thinking about opening a club, before she had given me a few ideas on what to do. So I did them, and now I own this baby….so you wanna go do business somewhere saver or not. Because if you don’t?”   “No! No we can go.” Mickey said quickly   Charlie gave Mickey a questionable look, but nodded his head and said nothing more. They made their way upstairs to the Charlies office; Charlie poured him and Mickey a drink and they both sat down at the table not saying anything. That was until Charlie spoke “So how are things? How Yev doing and you? How are you?” Charlie said trying to lighten the conversation up, he had met Mickey once and that was because of Svetlana. She introduced them, Svet said he was an old friend from back home, but Mickey never trusted him. I mean if he was such a good friend then why didn’t he help out Svetlana or know where she was at before Mickey got to her. But Svetlana always told him that she could trust him and Mickey trusts Svetlana so if she said he was good then he was. But Mickey hadn’t seen Charlie in almost 3 years, not since Yev was born, he came around to check up on Yev and Mick sometimes but then stopped.   Mickey then looked up at Charlie and Charlie notice something he never thought he would see in Mickey Milkovich face…..   Present_day   “I know you went to go see Svetlana, me, you, and Yev are the only ones. We saw the flowers and figured it was you, and the chocolates. Which by the way why the fuck would you leave Chocolate for her?” Mickey asked and Charlie just shrugged and laughed.   Charlie passed the blunt to Mickey and he smoked it “Did you see the Corinthos’s before you came here? I know they’re regular’s and shit, but I can’t stand them man.” Charlie said changing the subject from Svetlana to something else.   “Yeah I went to them today. Shit was fast and quick in and out like fucking 123.” Mickey said laughing   Charlie looked at Mickey again…”Mick.”   “Hmph” Mickey said he was feeling high and had a nice buzz from drinking. He looked up Charlie and gave him a small smile “Let’s get to business ight, so that way I can go home to Yev.”   Charlie nodded “m’kay….and ah I’ll come by next week or something to see Yev. That okay?” Charlie asked   “Yeah man…he’d be happy see you.” Mickey said   ************** When Ian entered the Club he was hit with a huge crowd of people, the dancing stage was on fire and there were people drinking, dancing, the different color lights were appealing. There are two bars on each side of the place they were long and looked amazing with the black lights behind it. Ian went to go order himself a drink. While on his 3rd drink he spotted a familiar face coming down the steps with another guy right behind him.   It was Mickey and he was with some tall white guy who looked pretty attractive. Mickey said he was working? So was this is other job at the club….but doing what. Fiona said he worked at a club at night, but never went on to elaborate what he did.  Ian finished his drinks and made his way towards where Mickey and the guy where at.   When Ian got to Mickey to say he was surprised was an understatement “Hey!” Ian said and Mickey snapped his head up at the familiar voice and looked petrified, like he was alarmed by Ian even being there.   “IAN! HEY! Um I was um. What the fuck are you doing here?” Mickey finally asked   Ian smiled at him “I was bored so I decided to come here, maybe hangout and chill. I was pretty bored at home. And you; what are you doing here? I thought you had work tonight?” Ian said yet asked   That was when Charlie cut from behind Mickey “Hi! I’m Charlie, I own the place. Is everything okay here?” Charlie asked   Mickey looked up at Charlie “Nah Charlie this is Ian, my neighbor from across the hall!” Mickey said turning his head to look at Charlie   Charlie smirk at him and nodded his head “Nice to meet you Ian, I was just about to send Mickey to one of the other clubs so he can manage out the other bouncer for me. And since your Mickey’s friend slash neighbor you can get free drinks on the house okay. Just tell the bartender Mr. Ivanov sent you; they all know me by that name!” Charlie said and when Ian nodded at him Charlie whispered something in Mickey’s ear and he nodded at Charlie “Well I have to go, Mick I’ll call you about next week okay!” and then Charlie was off   Mickey turned to look at Ian who had an expressionless look on his face; he seemed to be curious about something. Mickey could tell. “What? What is it?” Mickey asked   Ian shook his head “Nah its nothing, none of my business.” Ian said quickly   “No spit it the fuck out!” Mickey said   “It’s just was that…was he high or something because I can smell it on him and- and you look like your” Ian trailed off   “Look Ian I had a few drinks nothing for you or anyone to be fucking concerned about alright? And no Charlie wasn’t high okay, we were having a few drinks up stairs discussing a few business things for the club. Okay? So you can stop the fucking cop act alright. Now either you stay have a good time or I don’t know man. I have to head out to the other place and make sure there doing their job. Or are you gonna question me more?” Mickey said defensively to Ian.   Ian was taken back by Mickey’s slight attitude “No…no by all means go on.” Ian said   Mickey stood there looking at him and nodded his head “okay…see yah later man.” Was all Mickey said and left without looking back at Ian.   To say Ian was slightly pissed off was an understatement. Ian took Charlie up on his offer for those free drinks. He chooses any random guy in the crowd and it didn’t matter that the guy he brought home with him was short with dark hair and light eyes. They weren’t blue eyes, but he didn’t care, and he especially didn’t care when he kicked the guy out after words, but Ian did care when Mickey was coming from work he assumed and saw Ian escorting his one night stand out the his apartment. Ian did mind when he saw Mickey’s surprised face, and Ian did care when Mickey turned to open the door quickly and close it. Ian closed his door and put his forehead against the door and cursed.    What he didn’t know was that Mickey did the same thing when he opened his door and closed it quickly, leaning up against the door, before he made his way to his bathroom to clean up.   Chapter End Notes The angst will soon begin...when...well I can't tell yah maybe next chapter or the chapter after the next. We shall see. ***** Why do they love me? If I feel like I am nothing. ***** Chapter Notes There are some trigger warning of violence but not so much. In addition I dont have a beta so All mistakes are my own I apologies. I also wanted to have you guys get to see how I portray Mickey and Fionas relationship. Trust me later on you will see why they are they way they are and the same thing for Charlie and Mickey why they are so close as well. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please leave me your comments on it and your kudos and love I love it. I do read them and do respond to your comments and I appreciate it. See the end of the chapter for more notes Mickey tried hard to avoid Ian this past week, he knew he shouldn’t have been surprised that Ian brought home a guy from the club. Shit apart of him suspected he would. But it didn’t mean he wanted to see it. Mickey knew he and Ian wouldn’t work out anyway, but apart of him wanted to hope. Maybe in another universe? but not here, not in this reality. Seeing Ian with the random guy that night gave Mickey the realization of the truth. That he and Ian wouldn’t be able to work out, and hoping was a lost cost. It brought him back down to earth, besides he needed to focus on Yev and him, just like it was and always has been.   Charlie called Mickey and asked him what day he was good to stop by, Mickey told him to come over Friday being that Yev had his doctor’s appointment yesterday and wasn’t going to school Friday because he never feels well after his appointments. Plus it would cheer Yev up to see Charlie anyways. Since Yev doesn’t go to school he goes with Mickey to the diner for his shift. Fiona told him he could take the day off with pay, but refuses and says he needs to work. When Mickey gets to work it’s 11am a little later than usually because he’s usually there by 7am. He and Yev took their time getting ready. There was no need to rush Yev knowing he wasn’t feeling so well; and Mickey never mined. Mickey didn’t work last night, but he was up all night with Yev because Yev couldn’t sleep and was emotional.   Since Mickey was running late that morning Fiona had asked Ian to cover since he was off. Fiona was coming in at 1 to check on things and see how Yev was feeling since she knew Mickey would have him there with him. She never mind when Mickey would bring Yev, she use to bring Liam all the time when she had no one to babysit. So Mickey would bring Yev to be with Liam, which Fiona was always thankful for.   As soon as Mickey walks in the Diner he sees Ian there busting tables he curses to himself, but pays no mind to it. This is his job, this is where he works at, and has been before and will be after Ian.  “Hey Man I got it.” Mickey says and grabs the plates of dirty dishes and goes to the back. Ian is now wiping down the tables and makes his way over to Yev.   “Hey there little guy! How come you’re not in school today? Don’t feel well?” Ian asked   Yev looked up at Ian and gave him a small smile. “You can say that kind of.” Yev said and went back to reading his comic books. Ian smiles at him and ruffles his hair, just as Mickey comes over and places a bowl of hot oatmeal in front of Yev with apple slices.   “Here little man eat up.” Mickey says to Yev, who looks at him and give him a face “No Yev eat come on.” Mickey says and looks at Ian and gives him a small smile   “But dad I’m not hungry and I don't want to….Please don’t make me.” Yev said sounding sad   Mickey sits down next to him “Look I know you don’t want too, but please just like one or two spoons okay?” Mickey says standing up and looks at Ian “I know it’s not your job but can you make sure he eats a little while I go seat people and take their orders.”   Ian smiles at him and nods “Yeah man no problem, besides I was only helping till you got here.” Ian said and Mickey smiles back and walks off, but not before giving Yev a look.   Yev looks at Ian “If I give you 5 bucks will eat this for me.” Yev tells him   Ian laughs “No Yev eat up.”   “Okay fine how about 10? Double or nothing?  Am I right?” Yev says with a grin on his face   “No Yev your dad wants you to eat, so eat.” Ian said to him with a smile on his face   “Okay, okay. I see where this is going; look. How about I say I ate it, give you 20 bucks and throw it away or give it away to someone who wants it.” Yev said to Ian flashing a crisp 20 dollar bill that even Ian was surprised that Yev even had that on him now   Ian chuckled and looked at Yev “Yev? You do know your trying to bribe me right? A an adult, and who’s trying not to get on your dads bad side again.” Ian said   Yev looks at Ian tilts his head to the side and squints his eyes at Ian “Bad side? Again? What’d you do to dad?” Yev asked curiously with his piercing blue eyes   “Nothing! I just don’t want to get on his bad side. Like ever okay?” Ian said   Yev however didn’t believe him but let go as the left side of his lips smirked at Ian and his eye brows went up looking at Ian shaking his head. “OOOOOh okay I see it now. Trying get into dad good grace so you can into his pants, and be my new dad! Nice plan Ian Gallagher.” Yev said happily   Ian almost chock on his water he was drinking “What!? No! … No Yev. He’s your dad, so you have to listen to him.”   Yev crossed his arms across his chest and gave Ian a face of ‘oh please’ “Weeelll be that as it may I really don’t have to.”   “What? Why would you say?” Ian asked him   “Because I’m at age where I can listen to my dad but choose not to because I know wrong from right. So it’s technically my choice if I want to listen to him or anyone else for that matter.” Yev said looking down at his oatmeal playing with it with a spoon.   Ian is amazed at how Yevgeny can be and it surprises him. Ian as never met a kid like him. Ian and Yev go on talking and laughing as Yev was still trying to convince Ian to eat his oatmeal. That was when a familiar voice spooked Ian, but brought a light of joy to Yev.   “So daddy said I can’t buy you a dog like you asked him, but he never said I couldn’t get you the new Batman game for the PlayStation 4. That by the way your dad says you’ve been hogging up and not letting him use it at all little man”   Yev looked up and shouted “CHARLIE” and jumped into the 6’1 man arms from his seat. Charlie caught Yev and laughed while hugging him.   “Hey short stop Missed Me!” Charlie asked   “YEeeeeeees! I Missed you soooo much! Dad says your always working and stuff.” Yev tells Charlie   Charlie laughs at Yev and gives him a big kiss on his cheek. Ian however gave Charlie a look but then it changed when Yev hugged Charlie tight and started to speak to him in different language. Ian had no idea that Yevgeny spoke a different language let alone Mickey he assumed. Ian can tell they were speaking Russian to each other and Yev was laughing at something Charlie said. Ian felt a little left out and so he watched them and then he spoke.   “Hi Charlie” Ian said   “Oh hey Ian, how are you doing man? I didn’t see you man sorry about that.” Charlie said   Ian was about to say something but then Yev cut in “Charlie you know Ian?” Yev asked   “Yeah! Yeah short stop! See daddy introduced me to him when he was at his night job, you know at the club.” Charlie said looking at Yev. Yev put two and two together knowing what that meant. Yev understood and nodded his head and laid it down on Charlies shoulder.   Ian saw the whole exchanged and found it to be a bit off and odd, but said nothing about it. Just then Mickey decided to make his way over.   “Hey!” Mickey said “I thought you said you couldn’t come today?” Mickey said yet asked Charlie and Charlie gave Mickey a kiss on the cheek as well, which then Mickey smack him on the head for that “Asshole!”   Charlie laughed “Oh Please Mick you know you love me!”   Mickey looked at Charlie and gave him a funny face “That’s fucking debatable right now man.” Mickey said looking at Yev to see he didn’t eat his food or attempted to eat it.  “Yev what did I tell you? You have to eat something!”   Yev was still in Charlies arms when he grunted and Charlie put him down. “But I’m not hungry dad” Yev whined and looked down at his food. Yev sat again next to Ian and looked up at his dad seeing Mickey give him a stern look “Ugh Fiiine!” Yev said and took a spoon full of oatmeal and ate it, all the while giving Mickey a face.   “Good, now eat some of it and then you and Charlie can spend the day together while I work okay?” Mickey said   Yev smiled so wide that you thought the kid won a fucking prize or something. He went on to eating his food without giving Mickey any problem or saying one word to him. Mickey went on to waiting more tables and cleaning up in the back. When Yev was done with his food after only eating 3 spoons of it, Charlie told Mickey he was going to take Yev out to the movies and take him back home when he was done. Mickey agreed and told Yev to be good which he response was “But why?” Mickey laughed and told Charlie to make sure Yev didn’t eat a lot of junk food, which Charlie promised him he wouldn’t but then Mickey didn’t see him cross his fingers behind his back as Yev laughed at him. Charlie gave Mickey a kiss on the mouth and said something to him and Mickey gave him the middle finger and Yev laughed at them. Yev was off with Charlie to the movies and Mickey was at work, with Ian still around.   Well Ian stood around just in case Mickey or anyone else at the diner needed help. At least that was his excuse anyways. When things seemed too died down at the diner, Ian went up to the counter where Mickey was at and sat in front of him. Mickey gave him a questionable look and ignored Ian for a bit that was until   “So Yev knows Charlie and he knows that you work at the Club at night?” Ian asked   Mickey was slightly thrown off from the question but tried not to show it. “Yeah. He ah he knows Yevgeny and Yev loves him. Me and Charlie go way back, we’ve known each other for a long time, so I work for him at the club, and of course he knows Yev.  Charlie’s like an uncle to Yev, always tries to spoil the shit out of him.” Mickey sighs then smiles as he talks “I swear if he could he would fucking buy the kid everything if I let him.” Mickey said lean on the counter looking at Ian “Why?” Mickey asked him   “Huh? Why what?” Ian said confusingly   “Why’d you asking me about Charlie and Yev for?” Mickey asked him giving him a curious look   “Oh no it was just that um….I don’t know. I figured why would let your boss take your kid out is all, but you said you and him go way back and shit so….that answer to my question I had in my head.” Ian said however Mickey wasn’t convinced   “Ooookay. Well I’m gonna get back to work then.” Mickey said but then Ian brought him back in with a question   “So how do you know each other? I mean like I know you guys go way back but like how’s you meet?” Ian asked in a sudden rush.   Mickey stopped and turned around and gave Ian a curious look before he answer “Why?....Why the sudden interest? You want to ask Charlie out or something?” Mickey asked. Ian just shook his head no at Mickey “So then stop fucking asking me question about him then….Look Charlie and I go way back like I said and how we know each other is no one’s business but my own.  I work for him a few nights at the club, Yev loves him and he’s a great friend almost like my best friend okay? Anything else you want to know?” Mickey said annoyed already   ”No I just” Ian began to say but then Mickey cut him off   “Just what Ian? Look if you’re mad about that night at the club I’m sorry okay. I shouldn’t have blown up on you or what the fuck ever. But I don’t like being accused of anything. Charlie’s a great friend and has been there for me. He works a lot just like I do, so he’s never got time to see his nephew. He wasn’t high that night he was drunk and tired. If you knew him, you would know he’s under a lot of stress with the club and opening a few more he has okay.” Mickey said to Ian hoping he would drop the subject of Charlie. Ian didn’t need let alone no one needed to know that Charlie was one of Mickey’s customers.     “No one was accusing you of anything Mickey, or him okay.  I was just curious that’s all okay?” Ian said and gave Mickey a confusing look   Mickey looks away and felt even more guilty, because he knew he was guilty of doing his job, which was illegal. “I’m sorry okay” Mickey says still looking away and then back at Ian now “Look I’m just tired….It’s hard, that it okay it’s Hard.” Mickey said and Ian could see Mickey’s face and how tired he was but also how sad he was.   “No its okay Mickey, plus don’t apologizes. I was being nosey; you can say it’s the fucking cop in me or some shit. Or more like a Gallagher thing, I mean come on, you know Fiona. Who’d you think I got it from?” Ian said smiling at Mickey trying to lighten up the mood.   Mickey smiled at Ian and shook his head and then threw the towel at him. Ian caught the towel and raised his eye brows up at Mickey and smiled at him. Mickey was smiling back at him blushing and biting his bottom lip at Ian. “Hey I ah I gotta get back to work okay. My shifts almost over and I want make dinner tonight for Yev before I have work to night.” Mickey said and Ian nodded his head   Ian stands up and puts his jacket on, but not before saying “See yah later Mickey Milkovich!” and Smiles at Mickey.   Mickey turns around and laughs at Ian. “Okay Freckles, I’ll see yah later man.”   “Its Ian!” Ian said smirking at Mickey waiting for him to say something.   Mickey shook his head “Nah, its Freckles.” Was all Mickey said and went to the back to finish up. And with that Ian left the diner and decided to head home and so he can get ready for work.   *********************************   Mickey walks into his apartment building, he was barely walking. He tried to call Jimmy to come get him from where he was, but there was no answer. He managed to make his way home. He could barely open the door and he tried to be quiet and but he slumped against the door and was in pain, so much pain. When Mickey tries to open his front door he’s see his neighbor coming up from the stairs “shit” Mickey says to himself.   *****   Ian was getting off his shift from work when he entered his building; he walked up the stairs deciding not to take the elevator for some reason. When he got up to his floor and opened the door he what he saw shocked him. It’s Mickey leaning up against his door trying to open the front door. He looks beaten up pretty bad and is having trouble even standing. Ian rushes over to him. “Oh shit Mickey what the fuck happened to you?” Ian says walking up to him, as he is in his police uninform   “Uh I’m fine…just some fucking asshole at the club is all man. Not a big deal really.” Mickey said and grunts as he tries to move again to open his front door.   Ian looks at Mickey like he’s on some shit because Mickey looks really bad. Busted lip, bruise forming on his right cheek with a deep cut on his eye brow and he looks like he’s having a hard time breathing. “Seriously? You’re gonna go with that? …No! Mickey this is a big fucking deal man are you kidding me?” Ian snaps out looking at Mickey and almost puts his hands to his face but then doesn’t. So Ian decides to take out his phone to call the ambulance.   Mickey is taken back by Ian’s tone and gestures, so when he hears Ian calling for the ambulance he argues back. “Fuck!” Mickey groans out as he tries to take the phone from Ian, but Ian side steps him “Ian seriously it’s fucking nothing really? Don’t call the fucking ambulance man. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”    “My job, is what the fuck I’m doing Mick. ‘Yes hello this is officer Gallagher I need an ambulance to”   Mickey didn’t hear the rest of what Ian was saying because he tried to open the door again; however this time it opens up itself and he is meet with his son.   “Dad! OMG Dad what happened!?” Yev said in a rush out the door to his dad as Mickey legs give out and he slides down his front door. Yev is over him looking at the damage. Mickey starts speaking in another language to Yev and Yev is at the brink of tears. “We have to get you to a hospital dad.” Yev said in a sudden rush   “No!” Mickey grunts out   “No Dad You promise! You Promised you wouldn’t get hurt again” Yev says and now tears do fall down his face. Seeing his dad beat up like this was something he hated and knew it was because of him he had this stupid second job.   Yev didn’t notice Ian was there at all. He just keeps looking at his father trying to get him up. But Mickey is slipping in and out of consciousness and now Yev is even more worried. Ian notices this and then goes to Mickey and tries to help him stay up and tries to lift him up off the floor “Mickey? Mickey can you hear me? I need you to stay up the ambulance is on their way okay?” Ian says in a sudden rush   Mickey is trying to stay awake and is looking at Yev “No….no hospital…m’fine.” He grunts out again and his language is slurred. Mickey can tell Yev has tears in his eyes, so he tries to make him smile or laugh. It’s not the first time Mickey has gotten this bad, but he hates seeing Yev like that “Hey little man……you should see the other guy Yev.” Mickey says and Yev smiles at that; knowing that his dad is just trying to make him feel better when he should be worrying about himself.   The ambulance gets there in less than 8 minutes and Yev and Ian go with them. Ian didn’t miss the fact that Yev had to be home alone seeing as no one came out when Yev was out in the hall way with him and Mickey. But that would be another day to ask Mickey about and look into. Right now Mickey was hurt and Yev was worried.   ************   Yev took his dad phone and saw that his uncle Jimmy text his dad, Yev told him that they were on their way to the hospital as dad collapsed and was in and out of consciousness.  Jimmy was waiting for them at the hospital when they arrived.   The nurses take Mickey into the exam room and Jimmy is right there looking over Mickey. He lift his eye lids and took out his little pen flashlight and moved sided to side from Mickey’s eyes. They placed Mickey on the bed on his side seeing at every time they tried to move him to lay on his back, he wince and moan in pain. His clothes were removed and Jimmy examined his back, there was a huge nasty black and blue bruise that looked like someone stomped on his back or at least hit him good on his back. He order immediately for did an emergency CT Scan to make sure Mickey had no broken bones, that nothing major happened to Mickeys head seeing as he was in and out of consciousness as Yev and Ian said. Jimmy wanted to make sure that none of his organs such as his lungs were punctured seeing as he was wheezing and having a hard time breathing. When Jimmy got the result back fast because he made sure it was put as priority he was relieved that nothing major was wrong with Mickey. Although there was going to be when he woke up; because he was going to hear it from Jimmy. Some of Mickey injuries were around his knuckles, which are slightly bruised from the fighting Jimmy assumed. He had a big deep cut above his right eye that required Jimmy to stick up. A bruised that looked like it was beginning to form on his right cheek bone. His lip was busted open and it was still bleeding. He had bruises on his back and some near the right side of his stomach and a small bump on the back of his head as well. So now Mickey was laying out in the hospital bed, he was waking up little by little and he notice Jimmy was there over him. But didn’t make a sound or any indication that he was up and Jimmy walked out the room.   Mickey is trying to set up but fails; he’s looking around the room and he notices that he was naked wearing a garment and his eye hurt bad. His back and stomach hurt as well, Mickey had got into the fight, but he would be damned if he lost. Which he didn’t, or at least he doesn’t remembering losing. Just then Jimmy walks in and looks at Mickey like he’s going to kill him.   “Jesus Christ Mickey! What the fuck happened now?” Jimmy said as he’s coming up to Mickey and helping him sit up.   Mickey winced when he sat up “Bad night.” Mickey simple said to him   Jimmy looked at Mickey and walked over to the chart board again and is taking his vitals again. “Mickey, really? God man, you really need to find another job that’s more safer man.” Jimmy said and went ahead to make bandage up Mickey’s stomach carefully yet still examining him. “Fuck Mick…it doesn’t look like you have any broken ribs or anything worse from the look on your CT scans man; but does this hurt?” Jimmy said as he put some pressure on Mickey’s right and left side.   Mickey grunted “No…it’s just sore man.” Mickey said not looking at Jimmy   Jimmy examined him telling Mickey to look at the light and follow it, checking his breathing and double checking again to see if he had any broken bones or a concussion. Thank god Mickey only had a few bruises and a minor concussion as Jimmy assessed out. Jimmy patched him up as best as he could however Jimmy still had to ask a few question.   Jimmy didn’t want ask Mickey but he knew he had to, to make sure his friend was okay “Mick…Mick I know you don’t want answer this and you know I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t concerned…But did the person who did this -”   “NO!” Mickey said cutting off Jimmy before he can ask him “No they didn’t do anything to me, but beat me up when I said no to them.”   Jimmy gave Mickey a look “Mickey the report show that you were almost unconscious when the paramedic got to you… you were beaten up badly Mickey and even Yev was scared out of his mind okay. Plus to mention when they were removing your clothes they noted that your pant and shirt were rip Mick….Now I can do a rape kit and” Jimmy doesn’t get a chance to finish   “I said NO! No they didn’t do anything….I made sure of it okay…they tried, and I fuck them up, end of story Jimmy.” Mickey said looking away trying to get his new shirt on that Jimmy brought to once he finished examining Mickey. Jimmy was looking at Mickey and Mickey knew Jimmy was just looking out for him. He has been for all these years. Keeping his secret and not telling anyone “Look Jimmy man…I’m fine okay, I swear they didn’t do anything to me. They tried and I made sure it didn’t happen.” Mickey said to his long-time friend.   Jimmy sighed “Okay Mickey I believe you…but you know you can’t work for a few day, not until your healed up….and we’re gonna have to make up a story and to tell Fiona. Because I’m telling you once you go into work tomorrow she gonna flip her fucking lid man. It’s bad enough I have to lie to her about this shit.” Jimmy said to Mickey but felt guilt when Mickey looked at him and looked away “Mick come on I didn’t mean it like that.”   “Nah I get it…I put you in a fucked up position where you have to lie to Fi and….and I have to as well….Jimmy it’s the only way I can pay for the medical bills, the only way to make sure that me and Yev are covered….Plus I can just tell Fi I got into a fight at the club, she thinks I’m a bouncer it’s fine.” Mickey said to Jimmy   “Yeah Mick I get that, but me and Fi told you, I told you I would give you the money and you don’t have to pay me back, or you can if you want I don’t care. Money isn’t everything to me Mickey. My family is, and you and Yev have become my family over the years….God forbid one day you come in here and I have to see and treat you for something worse…or better yet god forbid you come in one day and I have to….Fuck Mickey.” Jimmy said and turned away from Mickey because he hated knowing what his friend, his family, the man he called his brother was doing at night.   “I didn’t ask you to fucking care okay….I didn’t ask you to give a fucking damn about me!” Mickey snapped back   “No! No you fucking didn’t okay!? But I do okay you asshole. Even though still, you asked me, you asked me Mick to lie about it and I have no choice because I’m a fucking doctor. I have no choice but to sit here and take care of your wounds and watch you put yourself in danger every fucking night you go out there to make extra money….I might have had no choice Mickey but you do.” Jimmy said to him in angry   Mickey was quiet and didn’t say anything. “See that’s where your wrong Jimmy….I didn’t have a choice to have this life…I didn’t have a choice to give Yev and neither did he, we were just dealt this fucked up life we got handed to us…..I didn’t have a choice to be a single parent and I didn’t have a choice to pick my life and what happened to it…It just happened, so I found a fast solution that would help me and Yev. More Yev than anything; I choice to be his parent and make and keep a promise I made to his mother….So fuck you for thinking I had any option in choosing certain shit in my life….Jus t like how I choose to be Yev’s dad; Tonight I had a choice to make sure those sick fucks didn’t take advantage of me….” Mickey said hopping off the hospital bed and getting his things.   Jimmy stopped him “Mickey don’t leave!”   “Why not? You’re done you treated me right? You’re my doctor so it’s your choice to treat me and your job is over okay. Now I have to go. I have to go home to Yev.” Mickey said   “I’m sorry okay.” Jimmy said and looked at Mickey. “I just hate that…” Jimmy sighs “That I have to see you like this, that at night your-”   “Yeah I know Jimmy…but life dealt me these cards, plus I won’t do this forever okay, soon hopefully I’ll stop. I won’t be doing it anymore. Yev’s fine, we’re doing great and everything will be okay. And if Fi still as that position for me I’ll take it…Just…just would you please not fucking nag me all the time about this. It’s always you and Charlie saying you can give me this and that to help out, but I got this. I have to have this, it’s my responsibility and it’s not a burden for me, not anymore. ” Mickey says to Jimmy   Jimmy nods his head and gives Mickey pain medication for him to take. “Yev is here by the way. He came in the ambulance with you.” Jimmy says   Mickey looked at him “What!? What you mean he came with him?”   Jimmy looks at Mickey weird “Mickey do you even remember how you got here?” When Mickey shock his head No Jimmy continued talking “Ian called the ambulance and Yev was with him. I talked to Yev he I said you were trying to get into the house and he opened the door and found you, and you looked like shit. Apparently Ian was there and he called the ambulance and Yev came along with him obviously.” Jimmy said to Mickey   “FUCK!” Mickey shouted and just as they are walking out of the hospital room they bump into Ian and Yev who were waiting for him.  Jimmy and Mickey are both thinking the same thing. ‘What the fuck!’ “Hey little man” Mickey says and goes to Yev   “Dad! Are you okay?” Yev said rushing to him instantly grabbed and hugged his dad. Mickey made a noise and Yev eased up on his grip he had on his dad.   “Yeah I’m fine, we can go home now.” Mickey said to Yev   “Mickey who did this to you?” Ian asked   “Look Ian thank you for taking care of Yev, but I’m fine okay.”   “No Mick you’re Not okay. Yev was scared half to death, so do you know who the fuck did this to you? Let me know right now so I can take care of it.” Ian said to him   Mickey looked at Ian and was shaking his head. Mickey didn’t need a knight and shiny amour guy to come and rescue him; he was perfectly fine taking care of himself. He had to admit he did appreciate the gesture, but Ian couldn’t know Mickey was with a potential customer and that shit went south “What the Fuck?” Mickey said with No heat and was tired “Look Ian I don’t need you going all Robocop on a bunch of guys I took care of okay. I’m fine and there taken of. Plus I don’t know who they were. Once I started fighting then that was it.” Mickey said calmly to him and softly. He really didn’t want Ian to get into this. He handled it, it was taken care of.   Ian was about to say something but he seen Jimmy shake his head in a motion to not say anymore. Ian was pissed off now. “Does Charlie even know what the fuck happens in his club then, because it’s obvious he doesn’t.” Ian said   Mickey raised his eye brow and looking at Ian. What they fuck was wrong with this guy why couldn’t he just drop. Mickey was fine he was okay, and nothing needed more to be said or done. “First of all Charlie has nothing to do with this so why don’t you shut the fuck and mind your business.” Mickey spat out and grabbed Yev’s hand and started walking off.   “Yeah well it is my business when you’re nearly dying in the hall way of the apartment complex we each live in and when Yev you know your son is upset because you’re hurt and could have died!” Ian said   Mickey turned around and walked up to Ian “Look I don’t know what the fuck is your problem, but this aint your problem okay?” Mickey said lowly to him “I handle mines, and I’m fine, and trust me; you don’t have to care about me or my son okay. He’s not your son, he’s mine.” Mickey said and walked away before Ian can say anything.   And well yeah that went bad; Mickey got mad at Ian because he got upset and yeah it was good reason, but he shouldn’t have just assumed and blew up for no reason on Mickey. It wasn’t his place to think he can just come in and say shit like he did. Mickey knew and already felt bad that Yev had to see him like this and that Yev was scared. Ian had some balls.   Ian stood there in the hallway of the hospital, not knowing what to do. And yeah maybe he shouldn’t have gotten angry, because Mickey didn’t come at him mean or anything. Not till Ian kept pushing and then of course he does what he always does. He gets people pissed off at him with his big fucking mouth.   ****   Mickey and Yev went home in a cab and when they got home, Mickey took the pills Jimmy gave him. He then went to Yev’s room, who was sitting in the dark in silence. “You mad at me to?” Mickey asked Yev. Yev turned to look at his dad and shook his head no, but still having a sad and worried face. Mickey sighed and went over to him “Yev? Yev I’m fine okay. I’m sorry I scared you okay.”   “I know you said you promised….but you don’t have to do this anymore dad. I know the medical bills are almost paid, I knew we’re doing okay. You can’t lie to me because I check the mail and read it. But why can’t you borrow the money from Uncle Jimmy and aunt Fi. Why do you have to do this and why do you have to get hurt because of me?” Yev said to him “This is all my fault, if I was never born then-”   “Hey!” Mickey said then grabbed Yev’s chin and made him look at him “Don’t you ever fucking say that you understand me! This is not your fault. You know I choose to do this”   “Yeah because of me!” Yev shouted   “Because it was the only way, it’s because it’s what I have to do….Look Yev, me and your mom wanted you. She wanted you more than anything in this world. So don’t fucking say shit like that okay. You’re the best thing that happened to us, so don’t say shit like that. I would do everything again over and over again if it meant that everything would come out fine. And so far it has, and yes there are a few fucked up things I have to do, or that have happened like tonight. But I wouldn’t regret it, not this and not any of it….so stop fucking blaming yourself.”   “Why did it happen tonight? What happened dad?” Yev said looking at his father   Mickey sighed and looked away. Even he knows he was stupid and careless, and that what happened tonight shouldn’t have happened. “He was a new customer….I…fuck I don’t know. I got sloppy I think, I don’t know what I did wrong. I met up with, we talked, but for some reason I-he wanted to try, if you know what I mean which I know you do; but anyway I told him to go fuck himself. That’s not how I do business. So…I guess he got the best of me, because I was going to the bathroom to use it and then all of a sudden he must have had a friend with him because they followed my into the bathroom and tried to attack me. I fought back one thing lead to another and that’s how I ended up coming home busted up. I didn’t remember much, but I remember getting away.” Mickey finished saying to Yev and sighed again   “Why did get a new customer or client or whatever they are?” Yev asked him “I thought you were okay with the customer you already had dad?” Yev said looking at his dad waiting for an answer.   Mickey looked at Yev and simply said “Charlie.” And with that Yev nodded his head and leaned it against his father shoulder. Yev knew his uncle Charlie was his dad customer, and he knew his dad and Charlie have been friends for ages. Yev was 10 ½ years old but he wasn’t stupid, he knew his dad wanted to remove Charlie as a customer because well it was Charlie. His dad’s friend, his moms best friend, the man he called his uncle.     That night Mickey lies with Yev in his bed, until Yev fell asleep. When he got up he went to the bathroom, removed his bandages and looked at the mirror. He turned the water on in the shower and hopped in, letting the hot water hit him all over his body. He stood under the shower for a long time. Yev was asleep so it was okay now, but Mickey refused to let it out.  He covered his face with his hand and inhaled and exhaled over and over again. He slides down the shower wall and stood sitting down inside the tub.   He just sat there and thought, thought about what Jimmy said, what Ian said, remembering Yev’s face when he opened the door to the apartment and saw him. Remembering Yev holding him tight when he fell asleep, remembering feeling Yev cry silently as if Mickey didn’t know, but he felt his son tears coming down his face and onto his chest. And with that Mickey covered his mouth and let out a sound….He cried silently just making gasp of air sounds trying to control his breathing as he was crying in the tub. Thinking about everything, about what he did, about Yev, about if it would have been worse, about Yev feeling and saying it was his fault when it wasn’t.  A person couldn’t control life and it was fucked up his son was dealt this life and it wasn’t fair because if Mickey could he would take that away from Yev. His guilt and his pain.  Mickey thought about Svetlana, and that was what made Mickey wipe his eyes that were now blood shot red and just sit in the tub staring at tiles. He stayed there for a long time just staring at the tiles mentally saying “I’m Sorry….I’m so sorry”. And it didn’t matter if the tears that came down his eyes made him weak, but for so long, Mickey Milkovich as always and will always be strong in front of everyone. But alone in his mind, in the privacy of his mind….he will allow himself to not be strong, even if it is just for a little bit.   As Mickey cried in the shower, he had no idea that Yev had gotten up. Yev had panic and went to find his dad only to over hear a sound coming from the bathroom. And for the first time ever; Yevgeny heard his father cry. It broke his heard to know that even though his dad said he wasn’t the cause of anything and shouldn’t think that way; Yev couldn’t help but feel that he was the cause of his dad crying, of his dad working another job, of his dad taking the risk he does every other night just to make extra cash. To say that this is something a child-like Yev shouldn’t have to worry about is an understatement. No matter what Yev always worried about his dad, because he only had one dad.   ****** To say that Fiona was livid is an understatement really; to say that she wanted to kick the assholes ass that did this to Mickey was still an understatement. As she calmed she wanted to and I quote “Find that stupid son of bitch and rip his dick and balls off and make him eat it till he chokes and dies” was more like it. Ian had told her what happened so Mickey got one hell of a wake up morning call. Fiona banged on the door at 6 in the morning and Mickey was just finish making Yev and him breakfast when he answer the door. He didn’t sleep and Fiona saw it in his eyes   “You have got to be fucking kidding me here?” Fi said to him as she walked in with a tired Liam who instantly went to Yev’s room and crashed on his bed with Yev still in it.   “Fi it’s not that bad? I can still move around and work.”   “Oh yeah?” Fi said and slightly pushed Mickey’s on his right side of his ribs and he grunted and glared at her “Bullshit you can work. And look at your face?” She said grabbing it lightly “Cuts and black and blue… Mickey who the fuck did this to you?” Fi said angrily   Mickey looked at her “Who the fuck told you?”   “That’s not important who told me. Now who the fuck did this? Tell me know because I have my fucking bat and baton ready to go.” Fi said and god did Mickey love how defensive she can be over him.   Mickey smiled at her and Fiona still had her angry face on her when Mickey gave her kiss and moved back and her expression changed slightly but she was still angry “Some asshole at the club Fi; they thought it would be okay to try and fuck with me. I thought it was just one guy but he had a friend I didn’t see I got jumped but they didn’t hurt me that bad okay? I’m fine Fi.” Mickey said walking away to the kitchen to finish serving breakfast “You hungry” he asked Fi and turned to looked at her. But she wasn’t impressed with his calmness and had her hands on her hips and gave him a stern look. “What!?”   “Mickey fucking Milkovich! What do you mean they didn’t hurt you that bad!? Ian told me you were hurt bad and by the looks of it he’s right Mick.” Fi said softer to him.   Mickey was somewhat pissed at Ian now even more “One it’s none of your fucking brothers business to tell my business. And Two I’m fine. I can work at the diner today aint no problem alright.” Mickey said to her   “No you can’t” Fi said quickly   “What!? Why the fuck not?” Mickey said looking at her with an upset face.   “Because it’s against the law Mickey?” Fi said with a sudden rush with a slight assessment in her voice   “What the fuck is against law? What are you talking about?” Mickey asked her   Fi looked at Mickey like hello mickey’ “It’s against the law as one of your best friends and to let you go outside looking like that.” Fi said pointing at his face and laughed   Mickey gave her now an unimpressive look which included giving her the finger in the processes  and chuckled as he spoke “Fuuuck you bitch. I have to work. Can’t get paid to stay at home with my thumb up my ass and do shit all day.” Mickey said   “Good thing you’re my brother from another mother… (Fi made a frowned her eye brows crunched together as well as she spoke again) and another father because I don’t even wish Frank was my dad.” She simple said and laughed again “Because I can pay you for the day; not to mention we can pig out on junk food and watch movies all day.”   Mickey laughed hard and held his side as it hurt. Fiona was next to him in a flash and gave him a worried look. “I’m fine I promise okay.” Mickey said to her softly “Plus I’ve gotta take Yev to school anyways.” Mickey said to her   “Nah! He’s staying home with you me and Liam! We’re going to pig out and watch what the fuck ever and relax. Plus you deserve.” Fi said unpacking a bag that Mickey didn’t notice she had   “Fi come on.” Mickey tries to say, but is cut off by Fi putting up her hand for him to stop and he raises his hand in defeat.  Even though Mickey was against to letting Yev, Fiona and Liam stay home with him he actually enjoyed it. They all laid on the sofa bed with Mickey, who by somehow chance ended up in the middle. Yev was leaning on his left side on Mickey’s chest, and Fiona was on his right side combing his hair as they watched Leverage and Liam was lying down at the bottom of Mickey’s feet. They did end up pigging out and eating junk food. Mickey however only ended up staying up for about 2 hours; the medication Jimmy gave him for the pain was some heavy shit and since he was comfortable, he easily fell asleep really fast.   Mickey didn’t know what to think of this kind of gesture that Fiona always insisted on doing for him. Was it love, was it kindness, was it because she considered him as family? He didn’t know and it felt good. Mickey didn’t know what love completely was, of course he loved Yevgeny and would move mountains and dirty, and all that other shit to make sure Yev was okay. He would do anything for him; Yev was his light…the last of it. And he guessed a part of him would do it for Fiona, Liam, Charlie, Jimmy, Carl and Debbie as well. He considered them family. Mickey didn’t know Fiona’s other brothers that well. He had met Lip a few times and he wasn’t a complete asshole to him, even would send Yev a gift every year. A nice gesture he guess; but Ian. Well Mickey just found out Ian was Fiona’s brother and well? He didn’t know if he would ever feel that way for him. I mean he only met the guy recently and even though he is Fiona’s brother, Mickey didn’t give a fuck. It was Fiona he cared for.     But love…that word was hard to describe and feel. The only other person who told him that they loved him was Yev and Svetlana.  Emotions were something Mickey didn’t deal and yeah it was hard, but he figured no one really gave a shit about him. However here was Fiona after all these years of being friends taking care of him when she didn’t have to. There was Charlie being supportive and Jimmy of all people….I guess it’s true what they say, not all family has to be blood related.     Apart of him missed his sister, but after their falling out, Mickey never contacted Mandy again. It hurt too much after what she told him. Iggy and Collin had their own lives; living all the way out in Vegas with their girlfriends. Mickey was happy for them; they left before shit got crazy in that house years ago, before Yev was born.  So yeah, even though he didn’t talk to his siblings as much and didn’t talk to one specifically, Mickey missed them, but if he had to choose; sadly or maybe not sadly, but he would choose Fiona, Jimmy, and Charlie over his siblings. The main people in his life that had no idea that they did more for him without every knowing they did.   ********     But now let’s not get side track shall well.  While Mickey was sleeping Fiona kept combing her fingers through his hair, she looked over at him and saw how peaceful he looked sleeping. She then thought it was the best opportunity to talk to her nephew.     “Hey little man; you up?” Fiona asked. Yev looked up at his aunt and hummed yes. “Are you sure kiddo?” When Yev looked at Fiona and gave her a confused facial expression Fiona went on to explain “About with what happened yesterday? Ian said you were pretty upset and that you freaked out a bit with you dad past out.” Fiona said to him     Yev sat up from lying on his dad’s chest and looked at Fiona “I wasn’t freaked out or upset titi? Just concerted! We Milkovich men don’t get scared or freaked out.” Yev said defensively   Fiona smirked at him “Calm down there killer….You now it’s okay right…. To be a little scared….I know I was when Ian called me and told me what happened.  I wanted to find the bastard immediately and ripe out their insides. (she sighed) but the then I got worried and scared for your dad and you.” Fiona said and leaned over and gave Yev a kiss on the forehead.     After a few moments of silence Yev spoke “I heard him yesterday.” He said looking down at his dad has he slept and Yev sat up more.   “Heard what Yev?” Fiona asked him   “I heard dad cry.” Yev said looking at Fiona who gave him a look to go on “He was in the bathroom…it had to be after a fell asleep, because we slept in my bed, and then when he wasn’t there I got scared….So then I went to the bathroom because I heard I heard the showering running.  Then I heard him cry, you can tell he was trying to hold it in….but he cried.” Yev said looking away “It’s all my fault, even if he says it’s not I know it is….he goes out and he risks himself every night with that stupid job that…”Yev didn’t continue because he was afraid that he was going to say something, he knew he shouldn’t be saying.     He didn’t realize that Fiona was next to him holding him now. She whispered to him “It’s not your fault, and your dad is right okay….don’t do that. You’re too young to think like that.” She told him, holding him close as Yev himself let out a few tears of frustration. Fiona knew they didn’t have it easy, and she prayed that one day they will. “Hey.” She said and Yev looked up at her as he wiped his eyes clean. “Is there anything going on with your dad? I mean is he okay? You know he wouldn’t tell me, but you would right?” Fiona asked Yev   Yev didn’t want to lie to his titi, she’s been the best to him. He knew they she wasn’t related by blood, but blood couldn’t make them more family even if it were possible. “Yeah! Yes of course Dads fine….he’s just stressed out. The last appointment we went for me went well and I’m okay. So he’s not worried about me. He’s just stressed with bills. You know how it is titi.” Yev said and she believed him giving him another kiss on his forehead before getting up.   Yev looked at his dad and laid right back down next to him. Holding him even more tighter than he did earlier.   The whole day went by pretty restful. Mickey was slept almost all day, and Fiona managed to leave the boy on the bed and clean around them. Putting away Mickey’s clothes in the closet and the dresser he had all the way in the back of the sala. She swept, mopped, did the dishes, cleans the bathroom, and made dinner as well by 5 pm. By this time she woke up Mickey, who been asleep all day for good reasons, but he had to get up and eat something.   When she woke Mickey up he was slightly dizzy, and drowse as ever, but he wasn’t hungry. Fiona was in the kitchen making him a sandwich to eat when he stumbled in holding on to the wall. Fiona walked over to him “hey you!” She said giving him a tap kiss on the lips like they always did “How you feeling?” She asked     “Mickey grunted in response “Like shit….just still tired and in pain.” Mickey said to her.   “Okay well here eat this and you take the meds again okay?” Fiona said handing him a plate as he sat down. He didn’t fight her on it; fighting Fiona was like going to war and he wasn’t up for it. Maybe any other day of the week, but not today; he took the sandwich and had a few bites before he pushes it away and took the medicine that was left on the table for him.   The boys had fixed the sofa bed up and made it back to a bed, and then went to the room to play after they had ate their food. Mickey wanted to go wash up so he made his way to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, Mickey managed to peel off his shirt and his pajama pants. With that being said, it hurt as hell to bend down. So Mickey grunted pretty loudly when tried to bend down again and remove his boxers, but was unsuccessful.   As Mickey was leaning over to turn on the shower, which again he made a noise; there was a knock on the door suddenly. Mickey sighed “Who is it?” he said tiredly   “It’s me!” he heard   “Come in” Mickey said. Fiona walked in and nearly gasps at the bruises that were on Mickey’s body. Mickey glared at her “It’s not as bad as it looks okay? I’m fine Fi”   “Bull shit” Fiona spat out “Take your boxers off then.” She said and Mickey eye brows flew up and he shook his head at her “Don’t look at me like that and don’t shake your head no at me…..plus you act like I’ve never seen you naked before.   “yeah but we were drunk!” Mickey said quickly to her   “and High…don’t forget that !” Fiona said smiling at him   “Fi come on! I’m not fucking getting naked in front of you!” Mickey whined to her                      “But you practically are!” Fiona shot back at Mickey and gestured towards his body seeing as he was only in his underwear   Mickey looked at her giving her a hard face, but then cursed under his breath as he tried to prove her wrong. So he slowly tried to bend down and remove his boxers himself. But failed and he winced in pain. Fiona then went to him and held him up. Mickey tried to protest but Fi ignored him and she pulled down his boxers and he step out of them.   “Well I see you’re still packing down there” Fiona said smirking at him teasing Mickey   “Not Funny Fiona!” Mickey said playfully to her but annoyed at the same time   Fiona and laughed and bit her lip eyeing Mickey up and down trying to make him feel uncomfortable on purpose “Fi cut it out and fucking help me get in the tub!” Mickey said to her   Fiona laughed some more and held her hands up in defense “Okay, Okay, Okay fine. Don’t want you and your thick sausage to freeze to death!”   “FIiiii!” Mickey whined   “What?!” Fiona said innocently smiling at him   Mickey looked at her dully giving her a small tired smile “Fi come on. No making fucking dick jokes man. Especially when I’m naked.”   “Well it’s not my fault you’re a size 7 ½ inches and thick!” Fiona said smirking at Mickey   “Seriously!” Mickey said with a serious face that turned into a smile.   “What!? You act like you’ve never seen me naked before and tease me about my boobs.” Fiona shot at him smiling   “GOD! Seriously?....I made one fucking comment, just one and now you’re teasing me now.” Mickey said to her laughing   “Yeah but now that I remember it you did give me a good complement about them as well. Plus it was you who said “Fi you’re fucking boobs taste like marshmallows and are soft and fluffy like them too.” Fiona said trying to mimic Mickey “then you pinched them” She said squinting her eyes at him.   Mickey looked at her and laughed “Yeah and you nearly fucking ripe off my dick. Plus if I remember correctly” Mickey said as Fiona went to him and helped him in the tub as he spoke “I was drunk and you took full advantage of me.”   Fiona made a fake shocked face at him and then said “We weren’t that drunk Mick.” Fiona said helping him sit down in the tub so that the hot water can help with his sore body “and keep telling yourself I took advantage of you. We both know what happened, and it was a good night.”    Mickey looks up at the sealing and is thinking for a moment then nods his head “If you mean by us sleeping together and being drunk…then yeah okay it was a good night.” Mickey said looking at Fiona smiling at her   “Fuck you! You weren’t that drunk, I know you weren’t Milkovich.” Fiona said laughing as she was poured some of the water in Mickey’s back.   They continued to talk and laugh about stupid shit. Fiona tried to massage Mickey’s back, and was careful not to hurt him too much or put so much pressure on his back. The bruises weren’t so bad on him, but still it looked like someone stomp on his back. She felt like she wanted to cry, but didn’t. Mickey hated to see her cry and he hated to see Yev or anyone he cared about really cry.  After what Yev told her about him crying in here by himself, she looked at Mickey. Her best friend, the one guy who’s been there for her, who hasn’t lied to her, or hurt her; the one guy who she knew that for some reason faith or life put him in her life for a reason. This guy right here, one who was still secretive, caring and kind only to ones he cared for, her asshole of a best friend who she would leave her own husband for in a heartbeat; the one guy who even convinced her to go after her dreams and be her own boss was now hurt. She was upset and angry, but most of all scared to lose him.   “Mick?” Fiona said suddenly   Mickey looked at her saw her eyes were glassy “yeah” he said softly looking at her   “You know I love you right… if you didn’t; now you do. I love you.” Fiona said to him   “Fi what is it?” Mickey said softly to her taking her left hand and holding it while still looking at her.   “Nothing…I just wanted to tell you I love you and Yev and you’re my family.” Fiona said to him   Mickey leaned over and gave Fiona a kiss, which she returned back and put his forehead to her and looked at her. Fiona had looked like she was going to cry and god did Mickey feel guilty. He knew she was worried about him “You love me” Mickey said in a whisper to her “Why?”   Fiona looked at Mickey like he as crazy “Because I do asshole” as all she said and Mickey smiled at her and wiped a tear that came down her face. He threw water at her and they laughed. She didn’t need him to say it back, because Fi already knew that her best friend of almost 8 years loved her and her family. That was something so great, you couldn’t have asked for from no one.   ***********   After a few days of resting Mickey was good to go to work, he had canceled his appointment with his customers. After Fiona left that day and when he called Charlie…well let’s just say he didn’t just get an ear full of Charlie being mad; more like Charlie coming to his door glaring at him. Charlie was pissed the fuck off. He didn’t even let Mickey invited him in he just walked right in and started talking.   “Why is it that I have to hear from Ian that you got hurt huh?” Charlie said pissed off   “You have got to be fucking kidding me, he told you to” Mickey said to Charlie all of a sudden   “Me to!? What the fuck Mickey? What happened to you?” when Mickey didn’t say anything Charlie continued to talk “why is that Ian had to come to my club nearly looking to arrest me and whoever the fuck came near him. He was yelling that some asshole at the club jumped you and that I didn’t do anything about it!” Charlie hissed out at him   Mickey looked at Charlie and was about to say something when Charlie grabbed his face and looked at the bruises that were almost gone. “Jesus Mickey…Mickey what happened to you?” Charlie said now softly, and so Mickey knew he had to tell him.  When Mickey still didn’t say anything and moved his face away from Charlie’s hands. Charlie continued on speaking “God damn it Mickey” Charlie sighed “Do know the guy’s name at least.” Charlie said to him lifting his shirt looking at the bruises that were almost gone now, but still visible.   “Yeah but I’m gonna handle this okay.” Mickey said moving around Charlie   “Like hell you are! Give me a name now!” Charlie demanded   Mickey looked up at Charlie “Fuck you okay you don’t order me around.” Mickey said with heat behind his voice.   “I don’t care, I want a fucking name! They hurt you, you could have gotten killed!” Charlie yelled out   “Yeah well I didn’t” Mickey shot back at him   Charlie looked at Mickey and his eyes spoke his emotions but not in his voice. Charlie was known for not showing his emotions so much, but when he did you knew that was when he was serious and worried. “When is this gonna stop.” Charlie said looking at his friend and Mickey looked at him and shrugged his shoulders at him. Charlie looked at Mickey and shook his head as he went to the door and opened it to leave. He turned around and looked at him again “You know…if I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t have come here.”   Mickey looked at Charlie and felt guilty. He knew Charlie cared for him, not in a romantic way, but in a I would kill anyone for my best friend kind of way. “I know okay…but I promise you I’m fine okay.” Mickey said   “This was a new client?” Charlie asked and Mickey nodded yes “Why? I thought you were good with the ones you had?” Charlie asked him   Mickey lied “Nah um one of them I dropped, didn’t want keep going to him.” Mickey said. He didn’t want to tell Charlie he wanted to find another customer so he can stop going to Charlie. Charlie was his best friend and it kept feeling wrong taking his money after Mickey was done.   When Charlie was walking out of Mickey apartment he turned at looked at him to say something but then Mickey just leaned in quickly and kissed him hard. Charlie didn’t know what to do so he responded with opening his mouth and let Mickey in. And he moaned when he felt Mickey’s tongue against his. Making out and Mickey pulled Charlie in closer to him pulling his hair and licking the inside of his mouth again making both men moan.   There kiss was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat in the hall way. When they pulled apart from one another Charlie was stunned and dazed slightly, but soon figured out why Mickey kissed him like that.   Ian was standing in the hallway looking at the exchanged of what just happened.  He glared at Charlie and then at Mickey. He made his way down stair to walk his dog and said nothing to neither one of them. When Ian disappeared Charlie looked at Mickey and gave him a stern look “Really Mickey?”   “What!?” Mickey said innocently like he didn’t just kiss Charlie on purpose to make Ian jealous or piss him off at least   “You kissed me to piss Ian off.” Charlie hissed at Mickey “Why Mickey?” Charlie said   “Because he’s an asshole…First of all, it was none of his business to tell you or Fiona and to go to the club and fucking accused you of anything. It’s my personal business not his and he needs to butt the fuck out of it.” Mickey said   “So your first thought it to ‘oh hey by the way I’m gonna kiss you now Charlie’ really Mickey come one man. Yeah he’s noisy but he’s doesn’t know what you do okay. He doesn’t know your situation and I get that’s none of his business. But cut him some slack and don’t fucking use me again like that.”   Mickey looked at Charlie  giving him a face “Since when are you on his side and not mines? He came at you remember?”   “Yeah I get that, but he doesn’t know I lied saying you work at the club for me okay. And I’m not on his side okay? I just feel bad, because I can see the guy likes you, but your pushing away and I know why Mick.” Charlie said   “Well… he shouldn’t, and he won’t. Not with the job that I do.” Mickey said wanted to end this conversation   “Fine Mick, but I’m telling you don’t be ass to him. He seems he could be good for you. Plus the whole hero complex and dynamic of him coming to my club thinking and trying to intimidate me and some of the guys was cute.” Charlie said fondly “Shit I mean that was sexy you had to have seen it. I mean I would have boned him right then and there with people watching.” Charlie said and Mickey notice he was getting hard thinking about it.   Mickey rolled his eye at him “Whatever man. And stopping fucking getting yourself horny in front of me!” Mickey taped kissed Charlie bye, but before he can walk into his house and close the door he overheard Charlie say “Oh but you love.”   Mickey just shook his head and thought about his situation for a moment.....He couldn't understand why? Why does Fiona and Charlie love him? Why do they care? All Mickey could think in his head was "Why do they love me? If I feel like I am nothing. Like I'm nothing and no one....I'm not good enough for them to love me" and with that Mickey went into lay on his bed in the sala and watch TV till Yev got home from school.   ******   Charlie made his way down stair and spotted Ian with his dog; so he decided to go up to him and have a nice chit chat with him. “Ian hey can I talk to you for a bit?”   Ian turned and glared at Charlie but nodded up and down “yeah sure man, what you want?” Ian said with some slight attitude to his voice at Charlie   Charlie ignored Ian’s tone and figured he was upset at what he saw “Look I know what it looked up stairs but it’s not” Charlie was saying but Ian cut him off.   “No I know what I saw and heard. You and Mickey are a thing and it’s whatever” Ian said trying to walk away but then Charlie stops him.   “No Ian that’s not it” Charlie said to Ian   “Okay from what I saw it was” Ian started to say   “No me and him are not a thing trust me okay.” When Ian didn’t look convinced Charlie just told him “Look Mickey can be an asshole, and that was him being an asshole Ian”   “What the fuck do you mean?” Ian said to him   “You like him right?” before Ian can say anything Charlie continued speaking “Mickey kissed me on purpose to piss you off, and most likely push you away. He does that. He ends up liking someone and pushes them away. Especially when he’s mad at them.”   “Why the fuck is he mad at me for?” Ian said   “Because you went ahead and said something to Fiona about what happened to him and he doesn’t like the fact that and you blamed me for what happened. Granted it happened in the club (Charlie lied about that part) and something should have been done right then and there it will be (Trust Charlie will find the asshole who did this to Mickey and he will handle it, it’s not like it’s the first time he did it without Mickey knowing). But Ian Mickey isn’t use to someone taking care of him like that or being so interested in him. And he sure as hell doesn’t like that you blamed me for it as well. You can’t hurt family with Mickey, not the people he calls family anyways.” Charlie said to Ian who was seemed to be listening to him more than before.   “So he kissed you because he’s pissed at him, and he figured what? That it would get a rile out of me and that I would be pissed and never speak to him again….he’s best friends with my sister for fuck sacks.” Ian said annoyed   “Mickey is his own destruction; he thinks if he pushes you away, that he’s saving you and himself. The one thing that Mickey refuses to do is to have feeling for someone else. That’s always been him for some reason after Svetlana. But trust me Ian, he likes you and he’s being a dick on purpose. Him kissing me in front of you just so he can piss you off; Classic Mickey.” Charlie says petting Ian’s dog and walking away to leave.   Ian was left thinking of what Charlie said to him earlier. He didn’t know what to think and maybe he went over his boundaries and threaten to arrest Charlie when he knew he shouldn’t. And maybe it wasn’t in his place to tell Fiona what happened but she was going to find out anyway.   ************   Ian hadn’t talk to Mickey at all, he was still upset about everything and well so was Mickey.  They were nothing more than neighbors and Mickey was his sister’s best friend. So what could he really do? He didn’t want to involve Fiona and technically he shouldn’t, and even if he did, he’s pretty sure she would be on Mickey’s side for some reason. He saw how they had a connection , and yeah a part of Ian was jealous that Fiona had that connection with Mickey and not him. It was weird yeah, but he didn’t let it get to him.   So on this one night Ian was on his way to work, he locked his door when he spotted Mickey coming out of his house locking his door as well. Mickey was dressed nice and clean and Ian can tell he was going to his night job at the club. The bruises he had gotten a month ago where gone and he looked good. Ian thoughts were everywhere so he decided to just go for it. What harm could it do now?   “Hey” Ian said and Mickey turned around   “Hey” was all Mickey said   They looked at each other in silence for a while and Mickey waved at Ian bye, and just before he can go Ian spoke up “I’M SORRY!” he practically yelled out   Mickey stopped in his tracks and turned around “What?”   “I’m sorry….I know it was wrong for me to be noisy and get mad and I had no right. And I’m sorry I told Fiona and Charlie and….look Mickey I’m just sorry okay. I just care about you okay, and I wanted to make that the assholes that hurt you never do it again to you or anyone else….But you’re right. I had no right to get involved and butt in and I’m sorry.” Ian said in a small rant   Mickey didn’t know what to say, he kept closing and opening his mouth to say something, but he was taken back. “Um….okay…thanks” was all that came out   Ian nodded his head “Okay….so um, you going to work right now?” Ian asked   Mickey nodded his head yes to Ian’s question and Ian nodded his head yes back, and looked away. “I’m sorry too” Mickey said and Ian looked up instantly at him.   “What?” Ian said looking at Mickey   “You heard me ass….I said I’m sorry to, I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you like that, but you did butt in so…yeah. I mean my reason for being mad at you is more justified, but…I’m sorry for being an asshole okay.” Mickey said rocking back and forth not looking at Ian   Ian grinned at Mickey. “Fiona did say you were an asshole.” Ian chuckled walking towards Mickey   Mickey smiled “Yeah that I am.” Mickey said then looked at Ian up and down before settling his lips. He unconsciously bit his bottom lip staring at Ian. He noticed that Ian was close to him and Mickey licked his lips on purpose “What cha doing freckles?”   “Nothing…just admiring how hot you look right now; that should be illegal for you to look that hot and go to work… Why? Can’t I look at you and go to work at the same time?” Ian said flirting with Mickey   Mickey laughed and stood where he was at as Ian step up to even more. “That depends if I let you….” Mickey said looking up and down and walking past him. Mickey knew that Ian was looking at his ass, because one these were his good ass jeans. (Now Come on I know everyone has that one pair okay, so don’t judge)  And two because he can see through the elevator mirror; Mickey stopped and turned to look Ian up and down again biting his bottom lip  “See you looking at me aint for free. I’ll have to charge you” Mickey said playfully smiling at Ian   Ian blushed at him and walked right up to him “Oh is that so” Ian said and Mickey nodded his head “Well what if arrest you.” Ian said   Mickey looked up at Ian and gave him wicked smile “I love to be retrained” Mickey said in a husky voice “But see I have to go work…so no time for play.” Mickey said to Ian and walked in the elevator with him.     All of a sudden something came over Mickey as he was staring at Ian eye fucking him. He went to the elevator control and pressed the stop button. He then turned to Ian and pushed him up against the elevator wall kissing his neck and sucking on it. He then kissed Ian hard while he unbutton Ian’s pants. He then pulls Ian’s pants down and in one motion he gets on his knees and licks the precum from off of Ian’s swollen cock.  With his tongue he licks and takes Ian into his mouth looking up at him the whole time. It’s so intense that Ian is barely able to control himself and is moaning even more louder, that he is sure people can hear him from the elevator doors. Mickey then stands up puts his forehead to Ian’s and then pushes two fingers into Ian’s mouth. Ian sucks on them and Mickey removes them when there slick up good enough licks Ian’s lips before he drops down again and wraps his swollen lips around Ian’s cock again and spreads his cheeks and shoves those two same fingers into Ian.  Ian groans even louder and he feels like he’s losing his breathe from the double sensation. His mind is on cloud 9 right now, as Mickey is sucking him off like a born porn star swirling his tongue around Ian and sucking hard on the tip of his cock. Mickey takes Ian deeper into his mouth and is deep throating him as he is pressing two fingers into Ian deeper hitting Ian’s prostate; making Ian roll his eyes to the back of his head.   “I’m….I-I-I-I’m gonna…FUCK MICKEYYYY! Shit! Shit, shit, Fuck! I’m gonna come….” Ian says and he looks down at Mickey and is met with fully blown dialed blue eyes filled with lust and needs. Ian doesn’t want to come yet, he wants this to last, he’s been waiting for this. Ian grabs Mickey’s hair and pulls it, and Mickey lets a moan of appreciation. Mickey press up against Ian’s prostate again with his fingers and starts jamming his fingers in him. Ian then starts to fuck Mickey’s mouth and all the while Mickey is sucking on him more eagerly and pushing his fingers in deeper as much as he can crooking them the right way, making Ian push more into Mickey’s mouth and is releasing inside of him.   Mickey is moaning looking up at Ian, and Ian swears by that look alone he can instantly get hard again. Mickey doesn’t back away from Ian just yet; instead it takes in every drop Ian has spilled and licks his lips. Mickey stands up and looks up at Ian puts Ian’s cock back in his pants. He presses the elevator button again for them to start moving except he presses their floor upstairs now.   “You ah…You want me to?” Ian said to Mickey breathless   Mickey shakes his “Nah man…I ah already did.” Mickey says trying to catch his breath and Ian looks down and sees that Mickey came as well and it’s all over his hand. “I have to get cleaned up and change.” Mickey said   Once the elevator gets to their floor Mickey walks out, but so does Ian “Hey” Ian said and as mickey turns around Ian pushes Mickey up against his door and kisses Mickey hard. Mickey for a second kisses back but then pulls away looking at Ian.   “I….I don’t normal do this whole thing, and I don’t kiss just anyone Ian.”   “But I’m not anyone Mickey.” Ian replies instantly   Mickey looks up at him and is eyeing his lips “fuck it” it says lowly and kisses Ian hard allowing Ian to slip his tongue in and taste him. Both boys moan and Mickey is sucking and biting on Ian’s bottom lip and then releases him. His eyes are still close, but when he opens them Ian is looking at him lustfully. Mickey then feels guilty…this can’t happen! What did I just do? What the fuck is wrong with me? If Ian find out what I do….no-no-no. this can’t happen we can’t happen, we can’t be together…..but fuck kissing him feels so good, fuck I want him so bad.”All of these thought are running in Mickey’s head and he’s trying to speak but it’s impossible.   That was when Ian spoke up “I should ah…let you get clean up so you can go to work…but ah… how about when you’re done with work?” Ian said as in almost a question phrase “you come over to my place and let Yev’s baby sister or stay with him a bit longer.” Ian said in a low seductive voice. He does wait for Mickey to respond because he leans over and kisses him again softly and then winks at him as he goes back to the elevator and goes leaves.   Mickey is standing there; dumb the fuck out as to what just happened. “Fuck! I’m in so much deep shit” Mickey whispers to himself and goes back into his apartment cleans up and heads out for work again. Making sure not to disturb Yev as he is sleeping in his room.   ******** In the elevator Ian is full of energy and is ready for work tonight. What just happened inside the elevator with Mickey was a brand new experience for him. And oh my god no one has ever given him a blow job like Mickey did. He can’t believe he made the move on him and Mickey willingly went with kissing him again. But by the end of this night, Ian was hoping to come home to something more later on with Mickey. He just hoped that Mickey doesn’t regret it, seeing as from the look on his face he didn’t, but then again….Ian can only hope it didn’t look like regret in Mickey’s face.   ***********   When Ian got to work, he went straight in to business. Ian has been working with some of the guys from the narcotics division since his captain insisted on it. Him and some of the other detective have been working on a big operation. Since Ian has military training and is good with tactical planning he was recruited for this operation that has been ongoing for 4 years now. Being brought into it was a little intimidating, because seeing as this case has been going on before Ian came in, he didn’t want to fuck it up or have anything fuck up. Ian knows that tonight is just a breakdown of what is going to happen in the next couple of days, seeing as now they have an informant on the inside.    Their ready to take down the Corinthos family for drug traffic and weapon related offenses. The informant has informed them of the next shipment that is coming in and is now ready. However the operation is going to be a bit difficult, seeing as how the Corinthos are a well-known family in the upper north of Chicago. They are known to have a few judges as well as officers in the department in their pockets; which is why this operation has been low key and hushed.   From what they gather this that Santino Corinthos and his wife Claudia Corinthos are both born native Italian’s who came over to America to raise their oldest child Amando Corinthos and their daughters Alessandra Corinthos and Zita Corinthos. Interesting enough the two older siblings Amando and Alessandra were not involved in their father’s handy work. In fact Santino made sure to not let his children anywhere near his business. Rather they were spoiled kids who got whatever they wanted. Especially Amando, who seemed to be spending money every week like it was water.  It turns out from what the informant gave told the Ian and the team was that from a well-known source working with Amando, his father agreed to pay and give him whatever he wants. As long as he stood in school and worked towards having a better career. Like a lawyer or something like that.   Alessandra was the same, her and brother were 1 year apart and are very close, being as it may she too spend money every week like it was water. Their father didn’t care to ask and from what it seemed didn’t want to care. As long as his two oldest made something of themselves he was okay with them spending his money. The youngest Zita was still in high school so she was like any typically teenager girl who went out but brought home good grades and was different from her two older siblings. She didn’t spend money like they did; in fact she would give stock advice to her mother, who then listen to her and made a good profit. Too bad the money to use that was dirty money.   So now Ian was at the station and it turns out things were about to get more interesting today.     ===============================================================================   When Ian got to the station and was informed that the original plan for the take down was going down in a few days instead of it happening in two week, he wasn’t surprised. It turns out Corinthos wanted to make the deal sooner than later for some reason. SO things were going to be motion into plan, which meant another late stay over at the prescient for Ian to make sure the plan was secured and that if anything were to happen they had a backup plan to the backup. They wanted little to no casualties, but knew that might be a long shot.   Ian was told he would be in Team 1 and that he would be the leader of that team. No one seemed to object and in fact some of the guys were happy that he was leading the team. Team 2 was led by Lieutenant Sanchez and Team 3 will be led by sergeant Milano. This would be the take down that would lead Ian to become a detective for sure, and with that being said he had faith that his action of plan was going to be perfect to take down in taking Corinthos and his whole operation down.   Ian text Mickey saying he wasn’t going to be at his place tonight and was being held up by work. He asked if he could walk his dog for him and that Yev had his spare key that he was suppose d to give to Mickey in case of an emergency. Ian hope that Mickey would be mad at that. But in case of an emergency Ian needed someone else besides Fiona to have his key. So he asked Yev to give it to Mickey, but he wasn’t so sure Yev did.  Any way Ian didn’t get a reply to about 3 in the morning, saying ‘sure’. By then Ian was already on his way home, hoping maybe he would bump into Mickey. But with no such luck Ian didn’t bump into Mickey and by the time he got home, he walked his dog ate and feel asleep.   ************   After Mickey had left he shut his phone off and didn’t think about what happened earlier in the elevator. Except that was the only thing he was thinking of when he went to his first Customer, and then his second and then his third and now he was with Amando Corinthos and his sister Alessandra Corinthos.   Chapter End Notes So that happened. One of Mickey's clients are the Corinthos and well thats gonna get bad. But any who put Fiona's and Mickeys relationship so close because I personally had that same kind of friendship bond with a friend an old friend of mines. We're close and love each and will do anything for each other. People would think that were together but we're not. we're just close. He got his partner and well I got me lol So tell me what yah think so far please. I know this is different from my other fic but trust its gonna get dark and there will be a lot of angst coming up soon...Sorry ***** The take down and the surprise! ***** Chapter Notes Here's an other update like promise. I'm sick so I'm sorry it wasn't up earlier. I don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own I apologize. I will be working on my other fic tonight and maybe this one so hopefully you guys have something to read for Christmas if you want. I hope you guy are excited for this fic because I'm trying to keep you guy on your toes. xoxoxox I love you comments and kudos and subscriptions They do help. I know the fandom is dying out, but you know what, we can keep our alternate universe as long as we want xoxoxoxoxo I hope you guys like this chapter. PLease Let me know what yah think See the end of the chapter for more notes Ian and Mickey have been dancing around each other for a while ever since that night in the elevator. Ian had got home late and didn’t see Mickey. When Mickey got home he couldn’t sleep, he walked Ian’s dog for him and was happy he wasn’t home yet. He forgot to write a note letting him know he did, but he decided not. He didn’t want Ian to know he was home.  Mickey then washed up and stood in bed till the alarm went off for him to get Yev up and take him to school. Yev even notice that his dad was a bit weird but didn’t say anything.   At the diner Mickey had to drink like a cup a coffee every hour till he got sick of it. For some reason 3 o’clock could not have come any faster. Mickey went straight home, Yev didn’t have to be picked up till 6 being that he had his after school activity thing. So thank god for that. Mickey just crashed on his couch not wanting to get up or do anything till it was his time to get up and go get Yev.   *******   When Mickey got up he heard a loud bang on the door, and then something landed on his stomach. When he opened his eyes, Mickey saw his son was looking down glaring at him with his arm cross against his small chest. Mickey registered really quickly that Yev was home and that he didn’t get up. So he jolted up “SHIT! YEV! Oh My Fucking god how did you get home? Fuck I’m sorry I must have over slept, I’m so fucking sorry!” Mickey said and he was hugging Yev who was hugging him back.   Yev could never be mad at his dad, he knew he worked hard “well since you weren’t there after 5 minutes I called titi Fiona but she was busy so she called Ian.” Yev said to him   Mickey turned from where he was at on the sofa and looked to find Ian there standing behind it. He smiled and waved at Mickey shyly. Mickey smiled at him “Thanks man. I appreciated it you didn’t have to.”   “No it’s cool, plus it gave me an excuse to get out of the prescient for a bit.” Ian said to him   Mickey looked down at Yev and shook his head feeling like a bad parent again “I’m so sorry Yev.”   Yev stopped his dad “Dad it’s okay. I get it alright, no problem. Just make sure to be there tomorrow for my report card and my parent teacher thing. Titi Fi said she can’t go and is having Ian go. Sooooo you guys can go together and be like a couple or something. You know for my benefit, that way the school system knows I have two good parents instead of one!” Yev said “Plus it will score me some points with this girl in school, who says gay parents are awesome and she even said I was cute. Just So you know dad” Yev said looking at him “I think you owe me.” Yev said going to his room taking his book bag with him before Mickey say anything.   Ian laughed and looked back at Mickey. It’s been two days since he seen Ian or that Ian has seen him. So why is this acquired?   “So um…thanks for bring home the kid…I ah I appreciate it man.” Mickey said   “Yeah no it’s not a problem like I said” Ian said nervously “um are we good? Like are you okay with what happened because you know if you regret it” Ian said to him   “I don’t regret nothing I do Ian. I learned that a long time ago that if I regret something I’m just gonna always wonder and have what ifs and that something can’t afford to do. I learned a long time ago that I do things because I have to do them. So no regrets.” Mickey said to him   “So…I mean I tried to call you?” Ian said to Mickey   “Yeah and I’ve been at work, if not the diner then my night job, or I’m here sleeping or taking care of Yev.” Mickey said then sighed “see Ian this was why I said I can’t do relationship….as much as I like you. I can’t. As much as I want to, but my jobs and Yev come first and that aint fare to you.” Mickey said to Ian   “Who says it’s not fair? I’m fine with being put last Mickey if that means me and you can go out on a date or whatever” Ian said to Mickey   Mickey looked at Ian and then shook his head “You say it's fine now, but then you’ll get upset that I’m working in the club, then you’ll get upset I’m always out at night working, then you’ll get upset that we don’t fuck or that we don’t talk! I’m not a person that talks about things okay. Plus there a lot that I have going on in mine and Yev’s life and it’s not fair to you, and it won’t be as much as you may think you will be okay with that? I know you won’t later on okay.” Mickey says   Ian didn’t know what to say “Why do you get too decided for me? You’re not my boss, so if I want to try something with you then let me try, just don’t assume that it will bother me okay?” Ian said then “You know Charlie said you were like this, that you would push me away. Especially after Svetlana, that’s what he said. I’m assuming that she’s your wife and Yev’s mom?” Ian asked   Mickey then gave Ian a cold and shocking look. He didn’t say anything instead he got up and starting making the sofa and fixing it “Mickey please say something to me?” Ian asked and when Mickey looked up at Ian, Ian felt like himself turned more paler then he already was. The way Mickey was looking at him scared him   The glare Mickey gave Ian was deadly. Svetlana was not a subject that was to be talked about, nor did anyone mention her to Mickey, unless it was Yev or Charlie. And the fact that Charlie said something to Ian about her is making Mickey upset. “What did he say to you about her?” Mickey hissed at Ian   Ian was taken back by Mickey’s voice and remembers that Fiona did tell him to never mention Mickeys wife around him. It being a really bad sensitive subject for him, because to this day it hurts Mickey; and as much as he has tried to get past what happen all those years ago. It hurt and haunts him even more. “Nothing I swear! Just what I just told you.” Ian said   Mickey took a step back to see if Ian was lying and he could tell he wasn’t. “Don’t ever mention Svets name again.” Mickey said and then he tried calmed himself down and think for a moment….after a few silent seconds Mickey looked over at Ian and spoke “Look Ian…if you want” Mickey said looking at him “If you’re sure you want this, me and you.” Mickey said to him and Ian nodded “You have to give me some time to really think about it okay? I have think about this really carefully and make sure I make the best decision not for only me, but for Yev and then me. He comes first always not matter what, so you have to give some time okay.” Mickey said to Ian   Ian smiled at him “YES, I mean yes.” Ian said lighting up like a Christmas tree. “Ima go…so ah, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow for the parent teacher thing.” Ian said while walking to Mickey’s door and turned to look at him   Mickey walked right behind him and looked up at Ian when he turned to look at him “Yeah  man.” Mickey said and smile small at Ian and looked away shyly.   Ian took a chance and placed a soft kiss on Mickey, who didn’t push away or back away. Instead he kissed him back softly and nipped at Ian’s bottom lip as he pulled away from him smiling. Ian was beaming smiling at Mickey and left to go to his apartment.   Mickey closed his down and leaned his head against it banging it a few times before turning around looking up at the ceiling. “Fuck me man” and pushed himself off the door to go get ready to make dinner for him and Yev.   *********** Mickey had just finished getting out of the shower and was getting dressed. Yev was in the sala watching TV as his dad was dressing up in the bathroom. Mickey had on a dark navy blue button up shirt that he rolled the sleeves up to his elbows with. He had black jeans and black boots on. He styled his hair and put on colon as he existed out of the bathroom.   “Hey Yev, come on little man time for bed it’s 9:30 man.”   Yev looked at his dad and threw himself more on the sofa “But Daaaaaad! The show Arrow isn’t done yet. Plus you don’t leave till 10 anyways.” Yev told him   Mickey looked at him chuckled and sat next to him Yev. Yev cuddled up to his dad “Yeah but I’m leaving early so that way I can come home early and wake up on time so that way after I finish my shift at the diner I’m so fucking tire to go to your school later on that night.” Mickey said to him   Yev looked at his dad “Dad you know you have to right? I mean it’s just for the report card and blah blah blah. Plus it’s starts at night. And don’t you have to work tomorrow night?” Yev asked   “Yeah I do…fuck. What time is then?” Mickey asked Yev   “Well since you can’t come in the morning, the night time parent teacher conference starts at 6 to like 9. But dad you really don’t have to come.” Yev said to him.   Mickey looked at his son and shook his head “No Yev. I know you want me there, plus your teacher called me saying something about winning a spelling bee and fucking winning at the chess champion! Why didn’t you tell me about it?” Mickey asked his son   Yev shrugged his shoulders and shyly looked away “I don’t know…I didn’t want make a big thing about it. Beside Liam was there and I got a trophy for it to. But it’s not a big deal dad really.” Yev said to him   Mickey eyes almost popped out his head “What! You got a trophy? Where the fuck is it?” Mickey asked him   Yev got up and grabbed his dad’s hand and pulled him. Mickey followed Yev into his room and Yev showed him where he put the trophy at. It was up in his closet so Mickey got it and brought it down “Yev. Why didn’t you tell me? We could have gone out or something and celebrated little man.” Mickey said excitedly “First fucking place Yev! That means you beat ever other smart ass in your school!” Mickey said smiling brightly at Yev   Yev smiled back at his dad “Yeah even the older kids in the upper grades didn’t stand a chance against me dad!” Yev said excitedly   Mickey looked at his son smiled and then hugged him tight but then his smile fell. “Yev why didn’t you tell me?”   Yev just shrugged “You’ve been busy with work, and stuff dad.  This was nothing, same thing with tomorrow night parent teacher thing.” Yev said to his dad. Apart of him wanted his dad to be there and be more around him, but Yev didn’t mind. He knew why his dad always work and why at this moment in this time and place that his dad was around but not at the same time. Yev was just happy that he had his dad and that he loved him.   Mickey looked at Yev and instantly felt so guilty, even more guilty that he has ever before. “Yev.” Mickey said and sighed hugged him tight “Yev that shit is important to me okay? Everything you do is important to me, not matter what okay? No matter what I’m doing I will drop anything for you. You understand me.” Mickey said to Yev   Yev hugged his dad back and nodded “Yeah dad…so tomorrow you’ll be there then?” Yev said excitedly to him   Mickey looked at Yev and said “Fuck yes Yev!” Mickey said to him.   Yev looked at his dad “If you can’t make it, that’s fine okay? Just…don’t stress it dad” was all Yev said   Mickey and Yev watched a little bit if TV and he left Yev in the sala and told him to go to bed as soon as the show was done. He told him to make sure the TV volume was down and reminded him to never answer the door if someone knocks. Yev told him he remembers what to do and like always he will call his dad if an emergency. Yev knew what he had to do when Mickey wasn’t home. And like he told his dad after the show was over he went into bed and fell asleep, but not before calling his dad and tells him good night.   **** Mickey came home early that night just like he told Yev. Work was fast nothing too much, he didn’t go see Charlie and told him about Yev’s school thing tomorrow. Charlie asked if he wanted him come, but Mickey told him no. He said he’ll see him Saturday night late after he was done seeing the other customers.    That same morning Mickey got Yev ready for school, made sure he had breakfast and took him there. He went to the Diner after words like always. To say that Mickey was having a good day well, no that was lie. He got to work slightly late, never a problem but one of the waiters bitched about it. Then said something smart out of their mouth at him; Mickey had to control his temper and he let it go. Then all day his order that he was ordering kept getting messed up, and Mickey was looking at the cook like he was fucking crazy. The food would either be too over cook, to undercook or to cold. He apologized to the customers the best way he could before saying fuck it that he wanted to stay behind the counter.   Then the waiter that usually comes in she was late, so he was running behind schedule. Fiona asked Mickey if Ian can pick up Yev for him since he was getting Liam for her. Mickey agreed to it and said it was fine. He thought it was best seeing at Ian was going to the parent teacher conference thing for Liam since Fiona couldn’t go. Mickey got out of work and went straight home to shower, however the trains decided to be fucked up and he ended up getting home around 4:30. He took a shower and got ready. He didn’t leave to almost 5:30 and was running really late. He had to call a cab, and then he was struck in traffic. He had his book bag he always carried with him to take to Corinthos house since he was seeing only Amando today.  He didn’t need to lose his bag and then be fucked complete.   By the time he got there Amando was waiting for him “Shit man look I can’t stay long okay?” Mickey said   “What why?” He asked   “Because I have other shit I had to do today and I’m running fucking late for something really important okay.” Mickey snapped at him   Amando flinch and it didn’t go unnoticed “Okay, okay! Shit Mickey. Don’t fucking hurt me man.” Amando said dejectedly   Mickey noticed something wrong with him. He walked up to him and saw the bruise and crappy fucked up makeup that tried to cover it up. Amando had a bad bruise around his neck and he seemed to have a black eye as well. If you walked up close to him you would see it. “What the fuck happened to you?” Mickey said to Amando   Amando sighed and pulled the bag of weed out of Mickey’s book bag. He then immediately started to roll it up “Dad” was all he said and Mickey nodded his head. He knew Santino Corinthos was hard on his kids, but he was always more harder on Amando than his two younger sisters. “Just stay and chill for like an hour or so man okay….fucking Alessandra is out with mom and Zita. Just us for now man” He said to Mickey   Mickey took the rest of the weed and rolled it up and started smoking with Amando. He was having a shitty day anyways and figured maybe smoking a whole blunt and feeling nice would be okay.   ******   Yevgeny was excited, his dad was coming to see some of his work and talk to his teachers. He knew he was good, but the fact that his dad gets to see and hear it; made him more excited, Yev text his dad at 6:08pm. Mickey said he just got to his job and that he was gonna leave in about 30 to 45 minutes. Yev told him again that if he couldn’t make it, that it was fine. But his dad told him no he was going to make it.   ****** Mickey had smoked so much that he had pasted out on Amando sofa. The shit he brought over Amando like but hell did they smoke a lot and just talk and bullshit. But Mickey fell asleep and it was now 8 pm. Shit, shit, shit, shit! He was supposed to be a Yev’s school.   ****** It was 7 pm and he didn’t hear from his dad yet. Then it turned to 7:30 and no dad, no Mickey nothing. Yev tried to call but nothing and he was getting nervous. What if something happened to him, or what if he was just stuck in traffic? Yeah he like that one, that one was better. Ian must have seen how worried he was because there he was   “Hey Yev where’s your dad?” Ian asked and just as Yev was about to answer his phone rang. Ian noticed that Yev had a slight bruise on his arm. It wasn't there yesterday   “Dad?” Yev said   “Shit Yev I’m sorry. I over slept, I fucking fell asleep on the sofa I’m on my way I should be there in a few minutes okay”Mickey said in a rush he sounded like he was running   “No-no-no dad, it’s okay.” Yev said and walked away from Ian he can talk to his dad privately “Dad are you okay?” Yev asked curiously worried about his dad   “No Yeah I am. I actually just fell asleep on the sofa and I didn’t know what time it was till now. I didn’t know I was so fucking tired.” Mickey said trying to flag down a taxi   Yev smiled at the phone hearing his dad “Dad?”   “Yeah little man I just caught the cab I’m on my way now!” Mickey into the phone   “No dad, go home okay. It’s only about what 45 minutes left here. Plus I can have Ian get my stuff for me, and you can come in next week and talk to my teacher okay. Go home trust me, I know your tired and so am I. I wish just went home and stood in bed. I’m not feeling so well.” Yev said into the phone and he really wasn’t feeling good at all that wasn’t a lie.   Mickey sighed into the phone “No Yev I said I would be there please.” Mickey didn’t know why he was begging his son, maybe it was because he felt guilty and was feeling more guilty that he should have been there today of all days.“And what you mean you’re not feeling well?”   “No daddy seriously go home. I think I’m gonna ask Ian to take me home now to. I feel sick is all, my stomach hurts and I’m really tired.” Yev said “I think it’s from me being so awesome that why. I get it from you!” Yev said trying to make his dad smile or laugh because he knew Mickey was upset he wasn’t here.   “Yev” Mickey sighed   “No dad seriously I want to go home any way; please just meet me at home okay?” Yev said   Mickey sighed “yeah okay.” He said sadly “Just asked Ian if he can get your report card and bring you home. You want any soup or something?” Mickey said   “No I just want to sleep.” Yev said honestly   “Okay little man sees you at home.” Mickey said and Yev hung up.   Yev went back over to where Ian and Liam where and bumped into him “dad wants to know if you can get my report card for him. He’s not feeling well.” Yev said to him   “I thought I overheard you say he went to work and was going to come here?” Ian asked   Yev shook his head no “Nah he went home shortly, He just got up and called me. He sounds like crap and I honestly don’t feel well either.” Yev said and Liam looked at him warily. Yev notice and smiled back at his best friend “I’m okay, just feel tired and nausea, probably have a bug or something.” Yev said and Liam smiled at his best friend not saying anything.   Ian went ahead and got Yev’s report card and a few things to give to Mickey for him from the teachers. Ian had to admit, the kid is smart and he was sure that Mickey was very proud of him.   ********   When Mickey got home he instantly fell into the sofa and covered his face with his hands. He got up to the bathroom and removed his clothes and took a fast shower. When he got out he looked around his apartment and shook his head in guilt. What the fuck was he doing? What he was thinking he then went over to his chest he kept all the way in the back of the sala wall next to his dresser and unlocked it and opened it.   Mickey pulled out his book from in the chest and locked the chest again. He went onto his bed in the sala and started writing in it until Yev got home.   When Yev did come home Mickey quickly got up and walked over to him and hugged his son tightly. He kept apologizing but Yev told him not to and gave his dad a big hug. Yev knew his dad was trying and it was hard being single alone with him to take care of him, but his dad had no one to take care of him.  That will always worry Yev.   “Here look dad! All A’s because I’m AWWWESOOOOME!” Yev said and laughed. Mickey looked at his son and started laughing with him but his eyes fell on the paper and his grades and he was so proud of him.   How did Mickey get lucky to have such an amazing son, well that was all because of Svetlana. “Fucking great Yev! Here let’s put this up somewhere I need to fucking frame it and shit. No one from our family has seen these many fucking A’s before unless they went to a fucking AA meeting or called triple A!” Mickey said and Yev laugh and so did someone else in the room Mickey had not notice.   Ian was laughing at what Mickey said and Mickey looked up to find him. Mickey smiled back at Ian “Shit man I didn’t know you were there I’m sorry.” Mickey said to Ian   “nah it’s okay, but Yev’s amazing the teachers really love him and think he’s the smartest in all his classes, minus him talking a bit too much.” Ian said to Mickey   Mickey nodded his head and was instantly sad again but didn’t show it “thanks you. You didn’t have to, but thank you” Mickey said to Ian   “Not a problem, besides I am trying to get into your good grace and show you that I am not only responsible person, but I’m loyal and caring and awesome! Right Yev!” Ian said looking at him   Mickey turned to see Yev putting up his thump up in approval and then Yev brought his hands down when he saw his father look at him. Yev just looked around the sala trying to act like he wasn’t there and did just try to help Ian out with his dad.   Mickey laughed at looked back at Ian. “Real smooth man.” Mickey said walking up to Ian.   Ian smiled and shrugged his shoulders “Yev said you’re not feeling well. Are you okay?” Ian asked   Mickey nodded his head yes “Yeah and no, just really tired, might be both jobs. I’m not feeling that great so I might call off tomorrow from the diner and let Fi know. My head and stomach are not in the best state of mind you know?’ Mickey said   Ian smiled at Mickey “Yeah no I get it……..so um I have to go, I got work tomorrow. So…good night I guess?” Ian said   Mickey rolled his eyes and leaned in and kissed Ian, who kissed him back. It wasn’t a long kiss, Mickey just kissed him quickly and step back smiling at Ian “And before you ask, that was ah thank you. For getting Yev and being there for him when I wasn’t able to.” Mickey said to Ian   “No a problem Mick, so I’ll see yah yeah?” Ian said and Mickey smiled back at Ian and Nodded his head and closed his apartment door as Ian left   *************   Mickey didn’t go to work the next day and neither did Yev go to school. It was Friday and it was a half a day and Mickey just wanted to stay in all day with his son. Mickey and Yev spent the day laid out watching TV and pigging out on food. Yev wasn’t feeling so well, so Mickey kept a good eye on him. It seemed like he had like a little cold, nothing big.  So Mickey gave him children Tylenol and he was okay.   As the evening approached Mickey and Yev played video games and just had so much fun. It was something they needed. As the night time hit Mickey made Yev dinner and got himself ready for work tonight.   “Are you staying out late tonight dad?” Yev asked   Mickey looked at his son and spoke “Yeah little man, but hopefully not too late. So we’ll still have our Saturday okay?” Mickey said to him   Yev smiled at his dad “Okay! Hey dad can I sleep in your bed tonight instead of mines.”   Mickey looked at Yev and gave him a look but smiled “Okay, but remember TV volume low and don’t answer the door for no one got it?” Mickey said to Yev who nodded his head and pulled the covers over his body.   Mickey gave Yev a kiss goodnight and headed out the door to go to his second job.  Leaving Yev home safe and sound.   *******   Ian was at work when the orders came down that the deal with Corinthos and his men was going down today. The information they got told them that Santino was going to be at the location with shipment. So the captain ordered Ian and all the other teams to gear up. This was what they were waiting for and they got it. Tonight was the night that Santino Corinthos was going down.   When Ian and his team set up there in an black unmarked van. The other 2 teams are a block away in another van. The meet was happening in one of the hotels that Santino owned. Something about this didn’t sit right with Ian, but none the less he followed orders.   It felt too easy to him, for one this was one of Santino Corinthos hotels, why would the meet be here of all places. It was too public to close to him to be connected.  Ian mentioned it to his captain, but his captain expressed that they intel on this meeting was 100 percent accurate. So Ian left it alone of course. All they can do now is stake out the place and wait till the snipers on the roof give the go head.   As Ian was set up in the van all his gear on and his team double checking they had everything on and that his team was ready. Ian was looking at the cameras and what he saw his heart dropped instantly……It was Mickey. Mickey!? What the fuck was he doing here?     It was weird seeing Mickey outside at this time of night and at this part of town of all place Ian thought to himself. Mickey had said he was sick and wasn’t feeling well today, and he wasn’t going to work but yet here he is and Ian sees him. Ian was undercover for a drug operation and him and his team were about to make a bust. Ian sees Mickey entered the building that Ian and his team were stacking out, but he wasn’t sure if that was the building they were going into just yet. There sources said that both the building and hotel was owned by the Corinthos so right now, they needed to know where shit was going down at in order to take down a major drug operation that was going down any second. For some reason Ian felt nervous and was praying to god that when he went inside he didn’t find Mickey in the place him and the team were about to go in a raid.     But Mickey was a bouncer so why was he here? Why was he there and what for? This didn’t make any sense and Ian had to stay focus on executing the plan. So Ian tried to call Mickey on his phone but it went to voice mail. Mickey hadn’t talked to Ian since the visit from the school; well rather they kept missing each other.  Ever since that night in the elevator and then the conversation him and Mickey had; Ian has been worried that maybe Mickey did regret to trying with him, but it turns out that their schedules have been really busy and this was one of the reason why Ian didn’t want a relationship or wanted to start anything with anyone. But for Mickey he wanted to and he didn’t know why, and he was hoping that Mickey wanted that as well even though he told him his reasons why he didn’t want to as well. He was willing try with Mickey and only for Mickey for some reason, which Ian didn’t know why. But today was supposed to be Mickey’s day off from his night job.   Ian then thought about what if Mickey was lying, and Mickey is some fucking drug dealer or drug lord or some shit working for the Corinthos. But then again he wouldn’t be living in an apartment like his. Then it entered Ian’s mind that the most clever master mind drug kingpins or major drug dealers are known to lay low and not lead people on that they have money. One way for them to never get caught, then all of a sudden Ian got mad. How the fuck can Mickey do this to Yevgeny his son, and his sister? Fiona loves Mickey like a brother and Ian well…Yeah Ian had a major crush on Mickey and really likes him, but if he was a dealer, then that had to go out the window because his job would be in jeopardy and he worked too hard for it, his sister worked too hard to have him fuck it up. But Mickey wasn’t a bad person….was he? Then there Yevgeny…how could he do this to Yev? Ian was thinking all of these things that was brought out from it when he heard-   “Snipers in position team1, team 2 and team 3 are you ready?” The captain said   “Team 1 ready and your command alpha.” Ian said back and the other team leaders said the same things as well.   “Copy that. Enter the hotel building on the right side to the 36th floor all teams use and block all exists in this building I don’t want no-one getting out of the 36th floor pent house understood.” The captain said firmly   “Copy That.” All three teams said   With that all three teams went upstairs; team 1 used the elevator on the high rise and team 2 and 3  took the stairs. Once all teams were upstairs they made sure to block the 36th floor. Block even the floors from 30 to 40, making sure no one was capable of leaving. With the snipers on the roof at all angles and the paramedics and other police back up units 3 block away unknown and unnoticed the team was ready to take action. However….   “Hold your positions till I say go. There some active going on upstairs…” one of the snipers across the building says. BANG! BANG! BANG! sounds came from inside the 36th floor pent house   “MOVE!-MOVE!-MOVE!-MOVE! ALL TEAMS MOVE NOW!”   Ian teams was the first team to go in, shot were fired and there were 2 men on the floor with gunshot wounds to the head, the other team took the other entrance of the pent house. Ian pinned one guy on to the floor and while the rest of his team took down the rest. ON the table were pounds of what look to be heron and pills it seemed to look like? Ian hauled the guy he pinned on the floor and threw him against the wall after he was hand cuffed and read him his rights. Another team came in and took the men who were hand cuff and Ian team went on search the pent house for any evidence they can find. This place was owned by Corinthos, which was a plus. However he can always say and have paper work backing it up that he rents the place. However with the informant they had, this was one of Corinthos private places he did business in. Before Ian continued on the search he made sure to look at each guy before he left, hoping it wouldn’t spot Mickey. Thankfully he didn’t.   So maybe Ian was wrong about Mickey…thank god. He did have a bad habit of taking shit he thought of and went beyond crazy in theories of what can be or what it could be and shit like that. Ian had an active imagination that one will get him in trouble that’s for sure.   ******************   Mickey had entered the building he normal goes every Friday night. As always he took the key that was under the mat and opened the door and went in. He walked in the apartment and looked around. No one was here yet from what he saw. The place he went to was small apartment it was cheaper or whatever for him and his client/customers to do business. Any way Mickey was waiting for about good 20 minutes, his client was late he was never late and this was gonna set him back with his time needing to get home.   Just then the door open roughly making a slamming sound and Mickey turned around quickly in a reaction to pull his knife in shocked “What the fuck!?” Mickey said as he looked at the man in front of him.   ********************   As Ian and the rest of the teams looked around the pent house they found various computers, laptops, and along with papers that seemed to be important. Pictures of the evidence were taken and then the evidence was placed in bags carefully. While search and siege was going on in the entire 36th floor, which was told by to them from their intel that the whole floor was owned by the Corinthos who he knows they got with some of the evidence that was found. But the thing was Corinthos wasn’t here as they were told which sucked. It was always best to catch the bad guy with their hands getting dirty.    However there was one room all the way down on the other side of the 36th floor going up to the 37th floor that was lock and it seemed to be tight shut for some reason. Ian could hear someone inside moving around. He looked to his partner and put his finger to his mouth in motion of him to be quiet.  When his partner signaled that he was ready, Ian nodded his head and both men kicked the door down pointing their guns up “Freeze!” the both yelled.  Ian was shocked to see.…. Chapter End Notes Soooooo. I'm sure you guys have a feeling whose on the other end of the that door huh? Give me your thoughts because even writing this I was like 0_0 ***** The Unbelievable Truth ***** Chapter Notes Hey everyone ! HaPPY NEW YEARS! Now I know most of you watched the new episode Of shameless and are just as sad as I am. But look at this way. We still have whatever bit left of fandom we have. I know its not a lot of us left, but look at this way. We can make up our own universe of both Ian, Mickey, Yevgeny, Fiona, Debbie, Carl Lip and the rest of the gang. I'm not gonna lie, my emotion are every where with that episode. But I just hope you guys continue on reading and writing and staying with the fandom as much as you can. Any who I love you all. For reading my work, for commenting on it, giving me love and kudos and inspiration. See that episode gave me inspiration to write more.One because this is my story to tell, and I want you guys to enjoy it. Now I will give you a spoiler there will be angst with this story but my end game like my other fic and Gallavich. So don't worry. xoxoxoxo to you all I love you all so much even if I don't know you. I still love you. xoxoxoxo See the end of the chapter for more notes   When Ian and his partner kicked the door down they hadn’t expect to see what they saw. Well Ian didn’t but then again, he still wasn’t in a way. Who they saw and what they saw was a lab; a meth lab with a few people inside with masks cooking meth. Ian’s partner radios this in, and Ian along with a few other cops hand cuffed and removed the few individuals from inside the room quickly as possible. They closed the door and quarantined the area. They called in the Hazmat team in quickly to handle the situation. When Ian got out of the building he went into the van to see all the suspects they had captured and detained. He was very happy to not see Mickey as one of the people being arrested, but now the question remains. Where they fuck did Mickey go? And if he was supposed to be at sick why the fuck was he here, or if he was supposed to be maybe at work, why was he here at this hotel of all places?   Ian would find out someway somehow, but right now he and his team had to head back to the prescient and deal with all these assholes and the evidence they collected hoping that they had enough to get Corinthos on drug and weapon trafficking.     ********   “What the Fuck!?” Mickey says as he looks at his client coming in “You’re fucking late like 20 minutes. I do have other client to go to you know.” Mickey said annoyingly     “Sorry man okay. There was some kind of fucking raid up upstairs. They were making it hard for people to come in and shit. I made a big fit about me being the major’s nephew and threaten to call him if they didn’t let me in. So here I am okay? And if anything I’ll just pay you double alright. That way we’re even.” The guy said and as he talked he pointed to himself and then at Mickey while speaking “Me for being late and you for waiting and having to cancel on all your other clients and shit.”   Mickey raised his eye brows up at what the man said “What makes you think I’m gonna cancel on my other clients tonight for your ass Pete?” Mickey spat back at the guy   The smug son of bitch smiled at Mickey before he spoke “Because I can pay you more.” The guys said walking to Mickey “And…you know I’m your best customer.” The guy (Pete) then grabbed Mickey by his belt and removed it roughly.   Mickey looked at the guy in front of him raising his eye brows at him and gave him a hard look before he spoke “How much more?” Mickey said   “10 grand more.” He said simply “more than double for the price I pay for you.” Pete said smugly to Mickey   “All for me huh?” Mickey said to him flirtatious “Why? What makes me so special? Rather what makes you think you are so special?” Mickey said as the guy was removing his clothes. First his shirt and than his pants fell to the floor   “Because Mick, I know I am. So…we gonna do this or what? I know I’m late, but I want what I paid for.” Pete said looking Mickey up and down biting his lips, “and since I can’t mark you or kiss you, I rather pay for you the whole night. So you can fuck me.” Peter said   Mickey though about it for a moment and put his game face on for the major’s nephew; Peter Sanders (the fucking Majors Nephew). Mickey smiled at him and bit his lip and gave him needed eyes and nodded his head and then began to remove his clothes. He roughly threw the Pete on the bed and crawled on top of him “You want me to show you how much 10 grand gets you huh baby?” Mickey said in a low husk voice to the man.   And with that the only thing the man did was nod his head at Mickey. Mickey then went took Peters tie and tied his hands up against the bed frame. Once Mickey knew that Peter was secured tightly, he then ran his hand up and down his chest. He placed a kiss and bit his right nipple, and then went to Peters left nipple and sucked on it and bit it lightly leaving a light mark.  He then works his way down and began to suck on Peter until the younger man says “You going to show me what you’re worth? What I paid for or what?” Peter says   Mickey decided that yeah, he’ll fuck Peter like he always does, but he’s going to show him exactly what he is worth. In both ways in fact; Mickey then rolls the condom on Peter and pinches his nipples while he puts the lube on him and then Mickey slowly lowers himself down onto Peter. Mickey didn’t need to prep, he was good from his last client. He then leans over and ghost his lips across Peters lips, but doesn’t kiss him. He never kisses his clients, his rules. He then licks the outside of Peter’s ear and blows into his ear just before biting his ear lobe. “I’m gonna ride the fuck out of you and come first and then when I’m done coming, you’re going to come. But not before I make beg for it….that seems like I’m worth what you’re paying for huh baby?” Mickey said to him and chuckled in his ear “Then….I’ll fuck the shit out of you and make you sob and want more of me in you.” Mickey said sitting up looking down at Peter and moving his hips at a good rhythm pace as he roughly dug his nails into Peter’s chest. Making the man groan in pleasure.    Peter doesn’t say anything more but nods his head fast and lets Mickey do his work. And well for the whole night till 3 in the morning well from here you can image what happen can’t you?   ***************   It had been a few days after the whole bust on at the hotel. The evidence was collect, and the DA was brought in on everything they had. However there was one problem. The Evidence they collected didn’t link to Corinthos at all, not one fucking evidence link to this man. The paper work and the computers they collected were clean, like fucking brand new clean. The IT Techs in the prescient couldn’t find anything and informed the Captain it was as if they were new and where just put there to be there. The paper work collected were statement and off shore accounts from the guys that were captured. Ray Blanco, Johnathan Romano, and Michael Luciano; all three were lower ranking drug dealers trying to make their way to the top. However all three were known to work for Corinthos, but none of them were budging on snitching on him.   They lawyered up as soon as they were captured. The DA tried to pin something on Corinthos, such as it being his hotel and his floor. Seeing as how there was a meeting and pounds of heroin and e-pills, along with the method lab. However, magically paper work appeared showing that the hotel that was supposedly Corinthos was no longer his.  That in fact he sold it two months prior to the drug bust that was planned out to take him down.  If Ian and the department wasn’t pissed off now, they were soon about to be. It turns out that the search warrant was for the 35th floor not the 36th floor. The informant had originally informed that the business and deal was going down on the 35th floor. Which the warrant was made for; however at the last minute the informant found out it would be the 36th floor that everything was taking place at; The leaded detective didn’t inform the judge on this information thus making almost all of the evidence they collected immiscible in court. The only thing that was standing was the room with the meth lab in it. That was only because they did the search and siege as well as that room was also connected to the 35th floor as well. The prosecutor try to argue that the information was giving to them at the last minute and that if any word got you to Santino Corinthos and his crew that they would have destroyed evidence. However the judge couldn’t do anything. Her hands were tied with the law and it was an illegal search and siege.   This fumed fucking Ian and his whole department, this operation that had taken years to finally get Santino caught red handed just blew up in their face. Like literally blew up in their face and now they had nothing. No leads, and their informant had to himself on the low since the whole bust thing went wrong. So that way he didn’t blew his over with Corinthos or anyone else.   They was all disappointing and upsetting, and it was like a kick to the fucking ball really. So they don’t get Santino, and his men are still in jail for the meth lab; however their not talking and refuse to.  This was a lost for Ian so right now all he wanted to do was go home and not fucking be at work.   ****************   Ian’s work week has been one hell of a work week, with the bust that went down taking a bust, he just wanted to not deal with anything. He goes to the diner a few times this weeks and flirts with Mickey. Who also flirts with him back, but it goes nowhere.  And he knows why, it’s because they both decided that trying to start something is not in their best interest. But fuck if Ian wants to tell Mickey fuck it and just have fun with him.   Okay so it’s been a while since Ian got laid….well not a while but still none the less a while. Ian finds himself at the diner again today. It’s his day off and he decided to stop by and see Fiona who’s supposed to be on her way. Instead he spots Mickey and sits right in front of him at the bar stool.   “Hey” Ian says   Mickey turns and looks at him “Hey? What are you doing here?” Mickey asked but before Ian can say anything Mickey continues speaking “Let me guess no work? That’s why no uniform?” Mickey said to him   Ian laughs “Yeah. Today is my day off, so sweat pants and t-shirt it is. Why?” Ian said licking his lips at Mickey   Mickey blushes slightly “damn… See I usually love a man in uniform.” Mickey said smirking at Ian “Gets me all hot and shit.” Mickey said and chuckled walking around the counter and sitting next to Ian. Mickey was counting his tips and Ian was just looking at him   Ian leaned in and poked Mickey who looked at him and smiled and mumbled ‘what’ to him. Ian decided that enough was enough and he wanted to know where this was going. Him and Mickey flirted all the time. So was it playful flirting? Was it flirting, flirting like I want to get with you kind of thing, or was it like nothing, like really nothing. So Ian went for it and asked “Mick what are we doing?” Ian asked   Mickey stopped doing what he was doing and looked at Ian “What? What'd you mean?” He asked Ian   “I mean what are we doing? Me and you, us flirting and then the whole thing in the elevator and shit; so….My question is what are we doing?” Ian asked   Mickey sighed and turned to look at Ian then away from his gaze then back at him. “I don’t know Ian…Look okay I am attracted to you, and you are to me. But we both know with our jobs, and…”Mickey trailed off but continued to talk “with other things. It just wouldn’t work. I mean you're my best friend brother okay? And I love Fiona. What if we don’t work out huh? Then not only will I lose her, but then Yev would be hurt to. And that’s something I can’t have my son go through. Not when we’ve already been through so much shit already.” Mickey says to Ian   Ian nods his head in responds but then “Why don’t we try? Like mess around? No strings attached and then we can see. If we try and see how it can work or not work.” Mickey looks at Ian and squints his eyes and tilts his head to the side slightly. He’s giving Ian the face of ‘really?’  But Ian ignores it “Like I can take you out on a date? Or I can, I don’t know spend time with you whenever you want. I can come here and or you can come by my job and we can have lunch or late lunch or dinner whatever you want?” Ian says to him   Mickey smiles at Ian’s blabber because well? It’s cute and Mickey is flattered that Ian want’s to ask him out.  “You askin’ me out freckles?” Mickey says   Ian rolls his eyes at the nick name “Yeah I’m asking you out? So you gonna say yes or do I have to like detain you or some shit.” Ian says to Mickey “Come on Mick? Try. For me please? Or for Yev? Whoever else? Like the universe?” Ian says smiling at Mickey   Mickey is shaking his head and laughing at how Ian can be suck a dork “If I say yes, will you stop being such a dork?” Mickey said   Ian smiled “No, but I will be cute as hell and sexy as fuck.” Ian says laughing   Mickey licks his lips and looks at Ian “Fine! One date, or two and then if nothing good comes out of it, which I think won’t. Then we stay friends. Nothing more got it!?” Mickey tells Ian   Ian smiles and goes up to Mickey and kisses him in responds. Mickey reciprocates the kiss. And god if that kiss wasn’t soft and hot; Ian breaks from the kiss and steps back away from Mickey “Got it.” He simple says and leaves the diner. Leaving Mickey breathless in response.   **********   Needless to say Ian set up their first date. It wasn’t anything fancy and it was nice. Yev was excited when Mickey told him he was going out with Ian to the movies. Mickey tried to tell him it was a trial and run bases kind of thing but of course Yevgeny didn’t care.   The date went well, they went to the movie and Ian and after words they went and got something to eat. Mickey enjoyed himself and him and Ian talked about bullshit. It felt nice to have some fun and actually not be at work tonight. He made sure that Ian picked a day when he wasn’t working, which happened to be Thursday night. Both him and Ian had to be at work in the morning, but it was okay. Yev was at Fiona’s so Mickey didn’t have to wake up early like he normally and usually did.   After eating out at some random diner, they made they were home which ended up them making out in the elevator. To say who kissed who first is an understatement. They were both just flirting with each other touching one another’s arm and Ian was playing with Mickey’s hands when all of a sudden both lips were attached to one another. Mickey would blame it on Ian and Ian would say it was Mickey. But really, no one knows.   So when they get to their floor they break apart from one another and are breathing pretty fast. Mickey runs his hands threw his hair and calms his breathing down. Ian does the same and looks over at Mickey. There’s a silence and Mickey walks to his door and looks at Ian while unlocking it.  He opens the door wide and turns around looking at Ian biting his lip and walks backwards into his apartment still looking at Ian.   Mickey has no clue what he’s doing right now, but right now. He’s horny and he wants to get fuck or do the fucking. Either way he’s getting laid tonight; and yeah there supposed to be taking it slow, messing around no strings attached. But Ian never said nothing about fucking around, well messing around is like fucking around so okay. They can definitely do that.  “Comin in or what freckles?” Mickey says seductively to him. That’s what Mickey does he makes men want him and shows them how to give them a good time. But this is Ian, so he’ll show’s him just enough of him and not the other him.   Ian walks inside Mickey’s apartment and closes the door behind him. “You sure, because we just agreed on   “We agree on to try and also mess around. So right now were messing around and I’m horny.  So we either fuck or not, because if we don’t I’m still going to and jerk off anyway and you can handle your hummer however way you want it.” Mickey says bluntly to Ian.   Without thinking twice Ian is on Mickey. Clothes are being taking off and their walking back towards the sofa in the sala. Both men are nearly naked and Mickey pushes in down onto the sofa and straddles him. He begins to kiss him again and well he gets lost in the motion.  Mickey starts to grin down on Ian and is dry humping him. Ian is doing the same thing while grabbing Mickey’s ass and kneeing it. Mickey moans and reaches down between him and Ian and grabs Ian’s full hard on. He starts to pump Ian up and down while still kissing him   Ian groans when Mickey twists and jerks him a certain way, running his thumb over his head of his cock. Boxers are removed and Mickey takes out condom and rips it open with his teeth and then puts it in his mouth. Ian looks at him for a moment with a confused look, but when he see Mickey lower himself down on his cock and wraps his mouth around it with the condom . All bet are off then. Mickey takes all of Ian in his mouth putting the condom on at the same time. He removes his mouth from Ian and looks up at him with hooded eyes and smirks at Ian. He puts some lube on Ian cock and straddles him again continued on kissing him. Ian at the same time take the lube and puts some on his fingers rubbing it warm and instantly inserts two fingers into Mickey who moans out ‘fuck’ into Ian’s mouth and continue to kiss him more deeper.   Ian fingers Mickey for a bit and then when Mickey felt like he was good, he pushes Ian’s arm signaling for him to know he’s good to go. Mickey then hovers over Ian cock and he slowly lowers himself down on to him. Ian groans again and his hands automatically go to Mickey’s hips. “Fuck your tight” Ian says in excitement. Mickey hums in response and is sucking on Ian’s bottom lip and bites it lightly. That drives Ian wild because he thrust up into Mickey. Mickey moans loudly out and breaks his kiss from Ian. He’s breathing hard and looking at Ian as he moves up and down on Ian.   Ian is love how Mickey moves up and down on him and clenches himself around him every time he moves down on him.  Mickey then decided to make Ian go crazy and starts to rotate his hips and grind down on Ian at the same time. And boy oh boy was he right. Ian is babbling incoherent things to Mickey and Mickey is smirking at him as he leans back and puts his hands on Ian’s thighs and rotates his hips more. Who would have thought riding Ian Gallagher would give Mickey so much pleasure at pleasuring him.   Mickey continues to grind down on to him and Ian can’t take it anymore he grabs Mickey by the hips and thrust up hard into him. Making Mickey cry out “Fuck….right there right there…don’t stop fuck don’t stop” With that responds Ian continues to assault Mickey and pound up into him as Mickey trying to meet his pace. Ian heard Mickey say he was close so Ian continues to go faster and harder.   Mickey is now pumping his own cock while he continues to ride Ian and Ian continues to fuck up into. In a matter of seconds he’s cumming all over his hand and on part of Ian’s stomach as well as his. Ian continues to fuck into Mickey chasing his own orgasm and when he does he holds Mickey down onto his cock and Mickey clench tightly around him. Mickey then kisses Ian again sloppy this time, but neither one of them gives a fuck about it right now.    ******* Having Ian fuck Mickey was well, yeah it was good, it was more than good it was fucking great! So why does it feel bad now? Mickey can’t help but feel both good and bad. Good because well, he likes Ian and the sex was well, let’s just say as much as sex as Mickey has, that was…shit that was like OMG. But then the dread of guilt hits him. Being an escort and fucking for a living at night while having a boyfriend who’s a cop is not the best thing. Wait did he just mention boyfriend? Does he want Ian to be his boyfriend? Fuck no! This can’t be good; he can’t have feeling for him. This was just messing around. But now their cuddling and it feels sooooooo good. Fuck!   Mickey gets up from laying on Ian’s chest and looks up at him. Ian was already up playing and drawing patterns around Mickey’s back “So….um, yeah” Mickey says and sit up more grabbing his boxers from the floor. At least he hopes it’s his boxers.   Ian sits up on his elbows and looks at Mickey “That was….good.” Ian says and smiles at Mickey who smiles back at him. And so what if that smile is infectious. So sue him? “Ah you okay? I mean with what just happen and all?” Ian asked nervously   Mickey nods his head “Yeah I’m good. It’s just we were just supposed to go to the movies. Not get laid with one another. But it was good, great actually?” Mickey said to Ian   “Do you regret it” Ian asked him   And Mickey was honest; he had to be “I don’t know honestly? I mean we’re trying to see how it would work yeah? Sleeping with one another isn’t exactly seeing how we can have a relationship with one another when our schedules are crazy. And personal shit happens.” Mickey said   Ian understood where Mickey was coming from and admire his honesty “That’s true, but sex is important.” Ian said trying to make a joke   Mickey laughed “yeah, yes definitely the sex is important smart ass.”   Ian cleared his throats, sat up and looked at Mickey. “So where doesn’t that leave us?” Ian asked   Mickey hummed from a bit and then looked at Ian “It leaves us with still trying to figure out if this would be a good thing for the both of us….I honestly have a few things I have to think about. But…if you’re willing to let me think about them and give me sometime not long to see what I need to do and figure shit out….then I can give this a shot or not.” Mickey says to Ian not looking away from him “That’s only if you’re willing and able. I don’t know what you want, but I know what I want. But what I want is irrelevant to what I have to and need to do for my son and me. You might not get it or understand it now, but….Yev. Yev’s my everything Ian. SO when I make this decision if I want to be with you or not I have to make sure that; that whatever I choose is good for him and other things and then me.” Mickey said “Do you get it?”   Ian looked away from Mickey thinking, and of course he got it. Yev was Mickey’s son and your child always comes first. But for some reason Ian felt that there was more to it, but he didn’t dwell on it “Yeah. Yeah I think I do. Whatever you want Mick.” Ian says to him   Mickey smiled at Ian and leaned over and gave him a kiss. “Thank you” he whispered to him and got up to put some clothes on. Ian did the same thing and both men stood up talking about the movie they saw and how good it was and what parts sucked. At the end of the night Mickey walked Ian to his door and gave him a kiss good night as Ian left out the door.   Mickey watched as Ian went to his apartment and looked over at Mickey and gave him a wink. Mickey laughed and closed the door.  And now Mickey stood at the door with his back leaning against it just thinking. He was thinking of tonight, of everything he told Ian. The truth was he had a decision to make and a big one. Because if he was going to stop working at night for Ian, well then Ian had to be it for him at least, but then again him and Yev needed the money. Mickey didn’t care about his wants or desires; he wasn’t trying to be selfish because this wasn’t about him, not him fully anyways. This was about Yev and him and what they needed to have and well. If that meant that Mickey had to deal with it and have a broken heart and not have Ian intimately and be both an escort at night. Then well, he had no choice but to choose his job and make sure everything was taken care of. And mickey did want to stop, he really did, but the way that life was he couldn't. But maybe just maybe this was the push he needed. Having Ian, being with Ian. Well? There was something, that was just right with Ian.   ***********   Being with Mickey that night had Ian floating on cloud fucking nine. The next day seeing Mickey at the diner was just like any normal day. Of course Fiona asked 101 question and Ian just ignored her.   “Oh come on Ian? Tell me! Did yah guys fuck?” Fiona said bluntly to him. Ian looked at his sister and blushed, he was about to say something then but Fiona kept talking “Because if you did, Oh My God Mickey is packing and he knows what he’s doing in bed. I’m just saying.” Fiona said   Ian looked at his sister sideways “How the fuck would you know?” Ian asked her   Fiona looked up at Ian and turned red “I hear things Ian! Plus he’s my best friend so come on I know alright things okay?” Fiona said and cut the subject off quickly “So what did you guys see?” Fiona said changing the subject   Ian smiled and knew she was hiding something but choice not to question it “Well we saw the Star Wars movie and that shit was awesome. I was a complete gentleman and paid for everything, which he argued with me not to do, but I won.” Ian said smugly   Fiona was shocked “He let you win! Mickey? Mickey fucking Milkovich let you win and let you.” Fiona pointed to Ian as she spoke “You, Ian Gallagher pay for everything?” Fiona said to him and Ian nodded his head up and down yes “Well shit….that means he must really like you if you let you win. Because Mickey’s a very independent person and doesn’t let no one pay for anything.” Fiona said and went to her computer in the back to finish ordering a few things for the diner   Just as Ian was about to say something to her his phone rang it was work “I have to take this outside Fi, I’ll see yah later yeah?” He said to her and she nodded at him and he left out the back door way   “Office Gallagher” Ian said   “Hey Ian it’s me Steph”   “Hey Steph what’s up? Anything word on tap wire for the Corinthos penthouse or house whatever the fuck they live in?” Ian asked. Ian and the team put in a court order tap wire and stake out for the Corinthos house. They were just waiting to see if the judge that wasn’t corrupted approved it or not   “That is exactly why I’m calling you. Judge approved it but” Detective Stephanie tried to say   “But what?” Ian asked curiously   “But didn’t at the same time” Detective Stephanie said   “What? What the fuck does that mean?” Ian asked   “Well the judge said we can do surveillance, but we can’t wire the house. No probably cause, and were aren't the FBI. Not to mention the search warrant we wanted was denied for the whole house, but the judge is giving us search warrant only for Corinthos room, and living room. Nothing else and nowhere else.” Detective Stephanie said   “You have got to be fucking kidding me? He most likely has his shit somewhere else not only his room or sala” Ian asked annoyed at what he was just told   “Yeah well something about violating his right he has already and not to mention not enough evidence to search the whole house. Plus with the bust we did there a possible chance that he moved his stuff, or maybe he’s keeping it in his house thinking we may not search there.” Detective Stephanie said   “The DA told the judge this and still nothing. We got a shitty search warrant. What about the financial records or his place of work. We weren’t able to get search warrant on those?” Ian asked   “Not his work place no, but his Financials records yes, In fact all of the families financial records are being search now as we speak. The son, the daughter’s, the mom and his along with his personal accounts. I mean if he is laundering money through his business account it might be hard to find, especially if he thought using an account for his children would be smart., but we couldn't get a search warrant for his business.... I'm telling your Gallagher that last bust we did fucked us up big time.” Detective Stephanie said and Ian heard her moving around paper work “But I’m telling you Santino is not stupid, and for him to use his kids would be out of character. There’s no way he would use his children’s account let alone the place where he live at with them as means to do business.” Detective Stephanie said   “Oh yeah? Why do you say that, he’s fucking criminal?” Ian said lighting up a cigarette.   “Have you not done surveillance on his wife? She is a mean bitch, and I even think he’s afraid of her. One time we got a call to go over there to go to the house for domestic violence and it wasn’t Santino we had to arrest. It was his wife. She decided to teach him a lesson as she said for laying a hand on their oldest son because of a personal family problem they were having.” Detective Stephanie said   “Shit” Ian said   “Yeah and you think that was bad. Santino went to the station a half an hour later begging for his wifes release saying it was a miss understanding that he wasn’t going to press charges on her and that he wanted her released.” Detective Stephanie said   “So you guys released her?” Ian asked   “Well yeah we had to you know that. But the face on him was priceless. Not to mention when she walked out of the cell and went to him. He looked like he was probably going to get his ass kicked. All I know is that from that view and from what I saw. There’s no way he would dare harm his kids or put them in any form of violence or danger that can land them in jail. The Corinthos women are strong will, and Claudia is one of a strongest woman that is well known. and family is something she values.” Detective Stephanie said   “Shit…okay. So when can we search the house?” Ian asked   “Well my lovely ginger! That’s why I’m calling you. I wanted to know if you wanted in on the search because were doing it an hour. SO get your ass to the prescient so we can do this shit already.” Detective Stephanie said   Ian threw his cigarette on the floor and head to his car “Already on my way.”   Before Ian drove off in his car he sent Mickey a quick text "Me, you lunch date? Tomorrow?"   Mickey responded in a few seconds "Sure, but its saturday man. That's me and Yev's day. So your gonna have to make it like a short good one. ;)"   Ian laughed "Okay as long as it's a date lol"   "yeah okay no funny business thought okay? Im serious to>:l lol :P"   Ian laughed at Mickey's text "Promise!" and with that He drove off to the station.   ******* Presenting the search warrant to Santino Corinthos and his wife and family was something that amused Ian. Granted it wasn’t the search warrant he wanted, but then again if there was anything out in the open that was possible evidence. All bets were off and it was fair game to obtain whatever they could. They already and a search warrant on every ones financial records, which was being executed as they search the home. The Corinthos children were already home and annoyed the presents of officer in the home. Ian spotted Mrs. Corinthos and the look she was giving her husband spoke volumes to Ian. Even he was slightly scared of her and he didn't even know why.   The oldest son spotted Ian and smiled him giving him a flirtatious look and bit his lip. Ian wasn’t amused by him…However? This situation could be of use to him. Amando Corinthos had a thing for older men Ian supposed. So Ian wonder…..   Ian knocked on Amando doors to his room. It turns out that since the search warrant didn’t specify which living room they could or could not search they ended up searching all 3 living rooms as well as all master bedroom. The main house, his sister and his upstairs. The house was huge, and Ian couldn’t understand why the judge didn’t sign off on the whole house but they got what they got.    All rooms where searched and the officers were still looking for what they can find. They check everything and were allowed to take the computers that were inside the living room so forensic can go through it. So now Ian was in Amando room looking around trying to see if there was any evidence he can find lying around. Anything probably cause, but Ian had other agendas in mind.   Amando was on his bed looking at Ian as he looked around his room searched his room. He wasn’t paying much attention to Ian. He knew how this went same bullshit as always with his dad. Ian decided to take full advantage of Amando lack of attention.  Ian went to search Amando desk to see and place a bug under Amando computer desk.   “What are you doing?” Amando said getting up from his bed going towards Ian.   Ian turned around and looked down at Amando directly in his eyes “What the fuck does it look like I’m doing Amando? I’m searching the room obviously. I can search wherever inside this room. Search warrant says so! You read it.” Ian said calmly. Ian knew that Amando didn't read the search warrant and he knew that the search warrant didn't say he could search the siblings rooms; but Amando didn't know that.     “Yeah well hurry the fuck up! I got shit I have to do!” Amando said and walked past Ian pumping him on his way out.     Ian breathed in and out calmly. Ian then went to Amando bed and placed another bug under the bed frame and another one on Amando bed lamp where it couldn’t be notice. Now placing these bugs wasn’t in the warrant, nor did anyone in the department knew what Ian was doing, except Detective Stephanie. Ian reminded her that even if they placed the bugs in the rooms they couldn’t use any of it to convict Corinthos. However Detective Stephanie said that even thought that was true. At least they can see what and where they need to look for just in case Corinthos slips up or if any of his kids are involve and they slip up they can end up getting something on them eventually.     Being able to place the other bugs around the house wasn't as easy, but Ian managed to do it when one of the Corinthos were out of sight. After the search was done everyone left the house; Ian went home. Tonight he was going to be doing surveillance on the house and the bugs he tested while in his car to make sure they were good. Each master bed room, Santino, Amando, and Alessandra.  So tonight would be the first night of hopefully not many long nights of surveillance. Tonight was Ian’s first shift and he was excited about it.   ****************   Tonight was like any other night for Mickey; he was getting ready for his night job and getting Yev ready for bed.     “Hey little man you ready for bed yet? You brush your teeth and wash your face?”     “Yup! All ready to go Dad!” Yev said running to his room and jumping on his bed. “Hey can I watch TV till I go to bed?” Yev asked his dad     “Yeah sure little man” Mickey said turning on the TV in Yev’s room setting up the Netflix for him to watch TV. “Okay little man here you go” Mickey said handing Yev the Playstation control “Don’t stay up too late okay.  Remember movies tomorrow me and you.” Mickey said to Yev and gave him a kiss on the forehead “Call me if anything okay?” Mickey said     Yev rolled his eyes, because it was the same thing his dad always told him every time “yeah, yeah, I know dad.” Yev said to his dad     Mickey shook his head at his son and winked at Yev before leaving out and headed out the door of their apartment.     Just like every Friday night Mickey’s first stop was Peter, than after Peter he went to the Corinthos and then lastly Charlie. So tonight was just like any other night. However tonight was a night that Mickey would neither forget or will want to remember.   *******   After Mickey was done with Peter his first client, Mickey made his way into the big ass house/penthouse that both siblings shared with their parents; except apparently Amando and Alessandra had like an apartment kind of floor. Amando had the upstairs while Alessandra had the down stairs. “Tonight dads said he was going to be out tonight so that mean we can party longer without him checking up on us?” Alessandra said     “Yeah apparently he’s got some business crap meeting for a few hotels he wants to build up overseas so he’s going to be gone a couple days. Mom doesn’t give a shit what we do.” Amando said     “Yeah well I can’t stay longer than I usually do? Plus don’t yah go work or some shit?” Mickey said     “Weekend remember?” Amando said     “It’s Friday asshole! More like Saturday fucking morning right now” Mickey said to him and shook his head “How you managed to get into law school and get an internship at a law firm down town amazes me sometimes.” Mickey said as he rolled up the joint and lite it first passing it to Alessandra who then passed it to Amando.     “Fuck you man.” Amando said with no heat     Alessandra laughed as well “Shit I think he probably gave the head lawyer head!” She said smoking and laughing     Mickey laughed with her “It wouldn’t be the first time” Mickey said looking at Amando “I know that how you got into law school with your grades”     “Fuck you okay man” Amando said slouching down on the sofa “My SAT scores weren’t that good but my grades were! So I had to pursue the head master and I did.” Mickey and Alessandra laughed “fuck you guys okay and Mickey it was your idea anyway!”     “No! No my idea was to get that fucker on video agreeing to let you in the school if you had sex with him! Not agree to do, and then do the fucking sex act Amando!” Mickey said     Amando had a shocked yet playful face on as he inhaled smoking the blunt “Hey but I recorded it and got it on tape! And he made sure not to fuck with me when I had those crazy parties and the cops were called in” Amando said proudly     Alessandra made a face at him took the blunt from his hand “and your proud of that!? You know dad had to get involved right! You just lucky he didn’t clip your balls off for it” she said and took the joint from Mickey who was high already. “Shit Mick this is good stuff man?”     Mickey leaned over and grabbed the blunt from her hand and inhaled the smoke holding it in his mouth and released it slowly “I got good connects” was all he said. Mickey saw that Amando was annoyed with his sister and knew how to make him happy. So Mickey went over to Amando sucked on the blunt again and inhale the smoke and did shot gun with Amando. Their lips were so close together you would have thought they were about to kiss. Amando inhaled the smoke Mickey released from his mouth and sat back and released it. Mickey sat in between both siblings smoking and passing the blunt.     Alessandra got up and went to her room and Amando looked over at Mickey.  He motioned for Mickey to go to her and so he did. When Mickey got to Alessandra’s room he closed the door and walked over to her and laid down right next to her on the bed. He grabbed her hand and entwined them together and looked over at her. She turned her head to the left and looked at him. “Talk to me.” Was all Mickey said and leaned over and kissed her on her lips softly. She kissed him back with no tongue. The kiss was brief but always breathe taking for her. She leaned her forehead on Mickey’s and looked at him.     Alessandra was a good person, and Mickey never treated her wrong or even made fun of her when Amando did. In fact one time he stop having Amando as his client when they got into a physically fight because Amando and her got into a fight and he hit her. Ever since then Alessandra’s been grateful for Mickey, and Amando never laid a hand on his sister. Not after Mickey beat the shit out of him.     “Why do you have to gay?” She said to him     Mickey smiled at her “Because I am.” He said and chuckled     “You suck!” She said and sat up “and how come you kiss me and not Amando?” she asked him     Mickey sat up and looked her “because you expect nothing further from it, and you want me to” He said looking at her “I give you what you want….which is someone to talk to, go out with when you want to go out and hang out with down town, to go banquet and dinners as date. To cuddle with, or to hold you when you’re upset, or down, and just be around with.” Mickey said to her softly. Alessandra was one of Mickey’s easy clients; she didn’t want anything physically with Mickey at the time. She mostly wanted someone to be have around. More like company than anything. To go out on dates with her, to go to events with or just hang around with; Mickey was that kind of escort for her. Which she loved and admitted and adored Mickey for.     “What if I wanted more?” She said to him     Mickey looked at her and tilted his head to the side “I’ll give you what you want.” was all he said     She smiled and looked at him “You’re a good guy Mickey. I hope that guy that gets you knows he’s fucking lucky.” She said smiling at him     Mickey laughed and shook his head at her. They both laughed and finish smoking the blunt. They talked for two hours and Alessandra told him about college shit, and about how she knocked this one girl out and her dad was mad at her. How her mother keeps telling her she needs to marry a man soon and have children with him so she can be a grandmother and how she always tells her mom to fuck off. Mickey laughs at her and they make out a little more and cuddle like she wants. Alessandra wants that and that’s as far as she wants Mickey to go.     ******     When Mickey leaves Alessandra’s room he makes his way to Amando bathroom and brushes his teeth and washes his face.  He finds Amando in his sala upstairs smoking “What the fuck? You’re smoking more of my shit!?” Mickey said to him and takes the rest of the blunt and smokes it “asshole” he mumbles and Amando just laughs   “What!? Yah took forever man. Yah don’t fuck, yah just chit chat and shit.” Amando said to Mickey        “Yeah well more than what me and you do any ways so shut the fuck up” Mickey said     “Oh yeah? So how come you don’t kiss me then when I pay just as much as she does?” Amando said     Mickey looked up at him “One because I don’t know where the fuck your mouth has been, two because it’s too personal, and three. We all know you’re a fucking whore who like to give blow job to anyone because it get you off. So with that being said I’m definitely not kissing you.”     Amando looked hurt at the last statement and then Mickey looked at him with a stern face. So then Amando laughed “Yeah okay, but it’s not my fault I like what I like.”     “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay so how we doing this tonight? I fuck you or you fuck me?” Mickey said to Amando. Even thought he was one of his regulars that paid him well sometimes he was annoying to Mickey. Just sometimes, tonight being one of those nights     “What’s the rush for?” Amando said coming up to Mickey unbuttoning his shirt and place a wet kiss on Mickeys neck.     Mickey looked at him and gave him small smirk and turned Amando around roughly and grinned his cock roughly on Amando ass, and whispers to him “Now…I’m gonna ask you once.” Mickey said he lick the side of Amando right ear and bit his ear lobe and said lowly “Am. I. Gonna fuck you? Or. Do you want to fuck me?” Mickey said and went inside Amando pants quickly grabbed his cock and squeezing it. When Amando still didn’t answer because he was lost in thought Mickey ordered him “Answer me now or I’ll decided for you!” he hissed lowly still working Amando in his pants from behind him     Amando was wreck and loved that now his time was starting with Mickey “Both” he choked out     Mickey smirked and turned him around “good boy…now take off your clothes and stand here and don’t move. I’ll go get the stuff we need from your bathroom and then when I come back and I present myself in front of you. You’re gonna take my clothes off for me and then wait till I order you what to do next or what I think we should do next. And if you’re a good boy (Mickey whisper seductively into Amando’s ear) I’ll let you fuck me first and blow me after words!” he said and stood back a little and grabbed Amando chin with and spoke again when the man was looking at the floor “Look at me.” Mickey said firmly and Amando did “Understood?” Mickey asked him     “Yes sir.” Amando said already eager to start taking his clothes off “May I start now sir.” Amando said excitedly and Mickey nodded his head in response.     Amando was quick to begin and once Mickey turned around to go to the bathroom he turned around and saw Amando was already facing away from him waiting patiently.  When Mickey first got Amando as a client, the kid was a wreck. Let just say even though Santino Corinthos was not the best father. Sure he gave his kids whatever he wanted, but he was never there, and when he disciplined Amando it was always bad. Santino wanted his son to be a boss and control everything he touched. He didn’t want his son to be weak or cry, or even feel bad for others.     When Amando told his dad he got accepted to law school. Santino was happy, but he wanted his son to be a shark kind of lawyer. Basically over power people, take them for what they got and make the other person on the opposite team feel like there nothing. Amando wasn’t like that; he only took on cases where he knew there was a victim that needed help. He wanted to be a good lawyer and not some shark two faced one who was out for power and blood and nothing more. However Santino Corinthos did like that and always downgraded his son tell him he was worthless. Making Amando hate his dad; he hated him even more when his dad found out he was doing probono work at a law firm. His father scold him telling him he was usualness and that all everyone ever does and use him.     That escalated into a fight and Amando left that law firm for another that was more fitting to his father. Got even worse when he told his mother and father he was gay. The beating he got was nothing to him, but when Mickey saw him it was something. So when Amando told him he was looking for someone to overpower him and let him lose himself. Mickey told him he would have to think about it. But after seeing the scars on his body and getting to know Amando a little bit more. He saw he needed; it was something Mickey needed long ago, but had no one to help him. So might as well get paid for it right?     See Mickey at first just gave Amando pleasure as he wanted, just a quick fuck in and out and would go to his sister and spend time with her. Amando never knew what they did, he figured they fucked, but he found out they didn’t from Alessandra. So when Amando needed someone to talk to, Mickey said that’s what he does with some of his clients. Is just talk, go out of town, or somewhere and have dinner, and go to outing with them acting as if he’s there partner. It’s not always about sex, and being an escort is not only about having sex with someone, but rather giving them what they want and what they need at the time. Whether it’s company, or sex, or going to a dinner party or a fund raiser which Mickey has gone to with some of past clients, he does it. So when Mickey saw what happened to Amando he knew he needed and Mickey can give him that and Mickey agreed to it.  For the first few weeks all they did was talk and make rules and then well. Then Amando answered to Mickey and knew better than to tell him no or not obey him.     Which is why when Mickey comes out of the bathroom and stands in front of Amando, Amando begin to remove Mickey’s clothes and when he’s done with that he waits for his next command. When Mickey gave him the next order, Amando looked up at Mickey and smiled at him. And Mickey did the same to him.     Just as promised Mickey gave Amando what he told him he would. Amando was fucking Mickey from behind hard, and Mickey was grunting taking in, but he tells Amando how good he was. When Amando came inside the condom he pulled out of Mickey and turned him over and began to give him the best blow job he could give him.     Amando kept swirling his tongue around Mickey’s shaft and he was sucking on it like a pro. Every 4th time he would go down on Mickey he would deep throat him. Mickey would pull on Amando hair and started to fuck up into his mouth. Amando love it and when Mickey came hard inside his mouth Amando moans went through Mickey’s body.     Mickey then got up from the bed and flipped Amando around pushing his head on the bed and brings his ass up to present to Mickey. “Stay there and don’t move” was all Mickey said and that was what exactly what Amando did. Now when fucking Amando, which Mickey normally did; Meant that Amando wanted Mickey to take away control from him. That was something Mickey had no problem doing.   ***************   Ian is across the street in the van watching with his camera and listening device.  It was boring and at first, but then all of a sudden Mickey saw someone he definitely and not in a million years expected to see knocking on the Corinthos door.   Mickey! It was fucking Mickey knock on the door; Ian didn’t know what the fuck was going on. He took out his phone can tried to call Mickey, but it went to voice mail after the 3 ring. Ian then saw one of the siblings open the door and let Mickey house. Ian decided to put the ear piece on for the bug and listen to what was going on inside the house and seeing from himself using the scope. He can’t believe he’s hearing what he’s hearing and seeing what the fuck he’s seeing. Granted none of this is legal and right now he just wanted to see if he can get anything on the Corinthos, but this…..Mickey. Mickey’s hanging out with Alessandra and Amando Corinthos and their smoking and talking.   What the actual fuck is going on here? Ian then hears shit that he doesn’t believe he’s hearing.  Ian sees and hears Mickey going into Alessandra’s room. There talking and he….did Mickey just kiss Alessandra, what the fuck? Ian is getting mad, beyond upset at this moment. Then he hears Mickey tell her ‘I give you want you want’ What the fuck was that about? He sees and hears them talking and then see Mickey kissing more like making out with Alessandra.       Okay so now Ian refuses to watch this anymore or hear it. After about an hour and a half of looking back and forth at Mickey and Alessandra and sending Mickey text messages asking him what he was doing. Ian see Mickey get out of Alessandra’s room and make his way upstairs to Amando. Mickey was just with Alessandra then Amando said something about pay the same amount as her? What they actually fuck? What the fuck was Mickey into and with the Corinthos siblings at that.     Ian is watching and hearing Amando fuck Mickey and that right there as Ian seeing more than just red. He hears Mickey praised Amando and it makes him sick "Just like that....hmm fuck! You're so good to me, fucking me like you own me huh.?" Ian hears Mickey say to him and its enough to make Ian want to flip his lid. Here he was thinking that well fuck Mickey was just a regular dad supporting his son and himself working two jobs that always made him tired. No, but no see Mickey was apparently what a whore or some shit. From the way Amando said that he and his sister pay Mickey the same amount of money for his time; that was exactly what it sounded like.  What pissed Ian off was that not only was Mickey fucking the family that Ian was surveillancing, but he lied about his job to him, to his sister and god to everyone. And that is what really hurts the most, was that Mickey was a liar. This guy that Ian really liked and saw himself being with, was a fucking lying whore who apparently was paid by the Corinthos siblings.   Earlier that day Ian and the rest of the forensic accountant department couldn't understand why but Alessandra and Amando seem to withdraw the same amount of money of 3500 every two week. Now Ian figured it out from what he was watching and view across the street. When Ian brought his attention back to Mickey and Amando, he turned the bug on to hear them as they stopped. He saw the way Mickey man handled Amando and how he was so submissive to him. This was something Ian never thought he would see, let alone everything he has heard and seen tonight; Ian never thought to see at all.  Mickey was now fucking Amando Corinthos.     Ian was hearing Mickey and Amando going at it, but he saw it as well and it made his stomach sick. He looked away and turned off the recorder. He was pissed the fuck off he didn’t want hear them moaning and all that other shit. What type of bullshit was this? A half an hour later Ian check the cameras again and notice that Mickey and Amando stopped fucking around. When Ian was looking he decided for some reason to take picture of Mickey who was not sitting with Amando and talking. Ian turned on the equipment that was recording but now he wanted to hear more of what they were saying.   “Shit Mickey…that was….fuck that was great" Amando said panting   “Yeah whatever man?  Not like it was new for you for." Mickey said to Amando as he was getting dressed   “No but that move you did was” Amando said laughing now moving to get his envelope he had for Mickey “Here’s your money man, before I forget and shit.”   Mickey took the money didn’t need to count it, it was always there. He looked at Amando and got up from the bed and started finish putting his clothes on “Well like always Amando…it was a pleasure doing business with you and fucking you we always do 4 to 5 times a week.” Mickey said to started to leave   “Wait! Don’t go not yet!” Amando said and Mickey turned around and looked at him weird “I mean…I still have like 39 minutes left, come on don’t go yet Mick.” Amando said   Mickey looked at him suspiciously “Why? We fuck, you pay me, that’s how it always goes with me and you.” Mickey now a hand movement as he talked “Escort (Mickey pointed to himself then to Amando) to client, what more do you want?” Mickey asked but also stated to Amando. He was slightly annoyed because he wanted to get home and talk to Ian for a bit. Ian had text him earlier that day saying for them to have a afternoon date at Ian's apartment. Mickey agreed but the only condition was that it would have to be a short date seeing as his Saturdays were reserved for Yev only.    Amando looked embarrassed and he didn’t want to say “Can you like….fuck forget it man.” Amando said getting up and going over to his dresser to get a cigarette.   Mickey looked at him and walked up to him and turned him around “Can I like what?” He said to Amando firmly   Amando looks really nervous “Can we like…I don’t know…lay in bed and talk…Like I lay my head on your chest and shit and we TV or something?” Amando says looking away   Mickey wasn't shocked yet slightly surprised, because all he and Amando ever do is fuck. He hopes to go Amando is not catching feelings because then Mickey would have to cut him off. Which sucks because him and his sister are his best clients. “Uh yeah sure if you want.” Mickey said hesitantly   Amando must have sense Mickey’s hesitation because then he says “It’s not like I have crush on you or some shit, its just you know…I kind of just want to feel….I don’t know…wanted? If you get what I mean.” Amando said looking away “Like all we do is fuck and you dominate me which I want and I like, but I just…I don’t know. I want to feel something else when were done. I mean I know you’re the hooker." Amando said   Escort!” Mickey says firmly. Hooker sounds wrong to him and he didn't like it   “Okay yeah escort…but I want feel like I’m not being only used.” Amando tries to put into words then looks up at Mickey “do you know what I mean?” He asked Mickey   Mickey looked at Amando and nods his head “Yeah….yeah man I get it. And it’s not a stupid or embarrassing thing to ask me okay? So let just lay down and cuddle I guess or some shit. You only have 20 minutes before I have to go.” Mickey says and sits down behind Amando and holds him. Amando leans back and takes Mickeys arms that are wrapped around him and holds them tight. He lays his head down back against Mickey’s left shoulder and closes his eyes.   Ian can hear Mickey whisper things to Amando, telling him how wonderful he is. Or how great he was and how he is important and all that other shit. It annoyed Ian and he kept taking pictures from the van and he didn't know why. But he knew he was going to confront Mickey one way or another. It was like Ian felt like Mickey made fun of him or something. They fucked yeah, but then Mickey wanted to think about being with him and refused. Now Ian knows why! WhY The fuck did Mickey lead him on? Was this a joke to him? Was Ian's feelings a joke to Mickey? Ian waited, he waited until Mickey left which was 20 minutes later like he over heard and he saw Mickey leave in a car. It looked like a cab.   Ian then decided to call Mickey again,but instead got a text message from Mickey saying he was at work and the was busy. Yeah right busy my ass! Come tomorrow Ian Gallagher was going to confront Mickey Milkovich!     ********     Chapter End Notes So now you guys know what Mickey does at night. I had this plot of the story outlined from the beginning when I first started it. Now its going to hard and very emotional. So I warn you about that now. But I will try to write like 2 or 3 chapters ahead so you guys aren't left with a week of wtf. lol Please let me know what you think and I hope you like it. This is something I have not read on here on the fandom and I hope you guys like it and stick around for it to be completed and done. PS I am new to the fandom on here and I feel like these two along with the other characters of shameless should get the life of an alternate universe that should be on tv. So I hope guys stick around for awhile, I hope some of you continue to write, I know I will as long as I got Ideas and you guys are willing to read my stories. xoxoxo everyone Again Happy New Years guys. I hope everyone had a good and safe one and I hope you guys stay around so that we can make our alternate universe of this fandom for as long as we can. xoxoxoxoxoxo ***** He reveals the truth….and it hurts ***** Chapter Notes Ok so heres the next chapter. I have chapter 9 written out I just have to type her up. This chapter is somewhat well verbally abusive in a way. So I warn of that. Plus you get a glimpse of Yev and Mickey 5 years ago with 5 in a half year old Yev. I want you to know that this story was planned out on what is about to happen soon, so be prepared for angst and a lot of it. I will touch base on Svetlana story but later on as it is key to the story as well. All mistake are mine and I will come back an edit the grammer and stuff since I don't have a beta. So let me know what yah think. I love your comments and kudos and love xoxoxox See the end of the chapter for more notes   Mickey got in the cab texted Ian, Ian texted him and he saw he called him. Obviously Mickey couldn’t pick up and he felt guilty for not being able to. He shot Ian a text letting him know he was at work busy and that he would see him tomorrow for their lunch date. Now Mickey expected a text back from Ian at least. But instead got nothing; he looked at the time and it was kind of late. So he figured Ian was sleeping or some shit.   Like always the driver knew where to take Mickey, which was to Charlie’s club.  Charlie was an easy client as well, and well it was sometimes awkward but then it wasn’t. That was how Mickey go reacquainted with Charlie after not seeing him for 3 years after Yev’s birth.   Mickey walked in the upstairs office room like always and waved to Charlie and walked over to him. Charlie was on the computer doing something “Give me a minute man; I’m just finishing this fucking inventory shit.” Charlie said and Mickey got behind Charlie and started to massage his shoulders. This was something they always did   “Why are you so fucking tense man?” Mickey said as he kept massaging Charlies arms and shoulders   “Fucking I fired the project manager and the manager of the other club. Then I had the manager here go to the other club, so I’m stuck here at the main club running shit and being more stressed the fuck out with bullshit. Then I had to fire and hire 2 new bartender because the ones I had were selling in the club.” Charlie said then turned around in his chair looking at Mickey “And you fucking know that if they would have got caught with that shit I would have my club shut down and me arrested; and with that I would fucking kill those two assholes for me being sent to jail.” Charlie said to Mickey annoyed at the whole thing he had to deal with this week   Mickey pursed his lips up and shook his head and then began to sit down on Charlie’s lap facing him. He put his arms over Charlies shoulders “Want me make you feel better?” Mickey asked smirking at Charlie   Charlie chuckled looking up at Mickey and he was now blushing because of what Mickey was doing with his hips. “I hate you right now, you know that?” Charlie said   Mickey laughed “Why?” He said innocently   “Because for some reason you always know what to do to make me stress free for a while.” Charlie said   Mickey looked at Charlie playfully and was playing with his tie and talking to him “And that’s a bad thing?” He asked.  Charlie wrapped his arms around Mickey shakes his head no at him. Charlie lean up to Mickey and kissed him. Now this was something that didn’t happen normally. Charlie and Mickey didn’t kiss like ever, but when they did it would be in the heat of the moment while they were having sex. Charlie continued to kiss Mickey and Mickey sat back a little and looked at him “What are you doing?” Mickey asked Charlie   Charlie eyes widen as he looked at Mickey but tighten his grip on him as he held him. He swallowed hard then answered Mickey “I ah….I just wanted kiss you.” Charlie said in a whisper   Mickey looked at Charlie confused and a little scared to be honest. Charlie couldn’t do this to Mickey? He didn’t want Charlie to want him in a romantic way; that’s why Mickey was looking at him now trying to make out his reaction to everything. That was also why he was trying to find another client. Charlie usually pointed Mickey to new clients whenever Mickey got rid of one. It’s not that Charlie was his pimp, no that’s not what it was. Charlie simply helped Mickey get some of his clients, like Amando Corinthos and a few others. Alessandra Mickey got on his own.  But usually Charlie and Mickey would talk and go out to dinner, or cuddle and sometimes fuck but that was rare, but kissing wasn’t something they did often. And yeah Mickey kissed Charlie in the hallway but that was to just get Ian jealous…fuck Mickey really felt like he fuck up and must have lead Charlie on, not thinking.  Charlie was what Mickey called an easy client as well. Not hard to please at all. But this right now….no, Charlie couldn’t do this.   “Why?” Mickey answered back in a whisper to Charlie   Charlie looked like he was trying to come up with something to say to easy but was stuck. So he said the truth “I figured since you kissed me before and it’s not the first time we’ve made out either that it would be a problem….but now I think it is and I’m sorry.” Charlie said sadly looking away from Mickey but still holding on to him   Mickey leaned into Charlie and put his forehead to Charlies looking at him “Charlie?” Mickey said to him softly   Charlie looked at Mickey and shrugged and turned his head away from Mickey. “It’s just that today….today is a shitty day Mickey.” Charlie said and looked at Mickey and his eyes were glassy   Mickey of course notice and looked frown his eye brow and gave Charlie a concern look “Charlie? Charlie what’s wrong?” Mickey asked lowly at him   Charlie sniffed and wasn’t looking at Mickey “Hard day Mick…Just rather not think at the moment you know…rather not think.” Charlie said and from the way Mickey was looking he could tell Charlie wasn’t really staring at anything.     That was when Mickey looked back at Charlie “Shit….Charlie look-”   “No! No I don’t want to feel right now….I want feel something good, and not something bad or anything. That’s why I kissed you.” Charlie said looking at Mickey dead in his eyes “So let me do what I need to do, and do what you’re supposed to do!” Charlie said lowly but firmly to Mickey “But if you don’t want to kiss then that’s fine….but I want fuck you instead tonight.” Charlie said firmly again at Mickey   Mickey wasn’t so much taken back by what Charlie said; it’s not the first time Charlie’s gotten like this with him. And he had to admit that even thought most of the time him and Charlie didn’t fuck, when they did however the fucking was good, hard, rough and firm. SO Mickey was slightly turned on by how Charlie was with now. So what he did next he didn’t regret.   Mickey leaned in and kissed Charlie hard and rough, they were making out for bit and Mickey moaned as he grinned on Charlie. Mickey was biting Charlie lips and then he attacked his neck. Charlie then lifted Mickey up and held on to him as Mickey wrapped his legs around him tight. Charlie turned around and leaned Mickey down on the desk pushing everything out of the way. He brought down his pants and roughly removed them as he began to kiss Mickey again.   Charlie knew Mickey was prepped and didn’t need any, so he just rolled the condom on and lube and pushed into Mickey roughly and started to thrust into. Mickey head fell back at the pain that was mixed with pleasure. Charlie knew how to make him feel good at the end of the night and he wanted to feel good just as much as he was required to make Charlie feel good. The first few thrust were at a good pace, but then he started to fuck Mickey harder and Mickey started to cry out. Moaning and panting fast as Charlie kept fucking him. Mickey couldn’t take it anymore so he started gripping on to Charlie and scratching and claw at Charlies back as he fucked into him. Mickey bite Charlies neck and stared sucking on it, just like he knew Charlie liked.  That drove Charlie crazy and he pulled on Mickey’s hair and kissed him as his hips snapped with ever thrust. With every thrust in and out, in and out, in and out; Mickey stared to babble when he broke away from the kiss. His eyes were rolling back and his body was arched up as Charlie kept hitting that same spot over and over again.   As Charlie keep fucking into Mickey he could feel his orgasm approaching. Mickey kept crying out in pleasure and Charlie kept moaning and groaning as Mickey allowed him to fuck him hard and deep. “I'm close..... Fuck!" Charlie said    “Me to!” Mickey panted moaning out now and he grabbed onto Charlies hair and pulled him down for a rough kiss. Every time Charlie moved his hips a certain way he hit that same sweet spot inside of Mickey and Mickey couldn’t help but moan louder and grab and yank of Charlies hair while scratching at his back leaving marks like he knew he was doing. That always turned Charlie on the pain apparently was pleasurable and with that him fucking Mickey had Mickey feeling awesome.   Within just a few more thrust Charlie was cumming hard inside of the condom and he was holding Mickey close. Mickey still hadn't cum he was too focus on Charlie. Charlie began to jerk Mickey and lightly sucked in his neck, the spot that was drove Mickey crazy and or horny. With a few thrust and Charlie jerking Mickey; Mickey was cumming fast and hard, he wasn’t able to move so Charlie leaned down over Mickey and sat him up slowly and carefully. “You okay Mick?” Charlie asked, he was slightly scared that maybe Mickey lack of silence was something bad.   Mickey nodded his head and looked over at Charlie “I’m fine…just um…m’fine.” Mickey said. He was exhausted and right now he wanted his bed. Sometimes after the end of his night Mickey would feel down and just wanted to go to bed.   “You okay?” Charlie asked   “Just tired…you think we can cut this night short. For some reason I feel this weird feeling. Plus I wanted to talk to you about something important anyways.” Mickey said   Charlie looked at Mickey again worried but nodded his head in agreeance. He and Mickey got dressed but Mickey stood sitting on the desk and Charlie went back to siting on his office chair. After a few moment Charlie spoke “Okay so shoot Mickey what’s up man?”   “We can’t do this anymore…I mean like. I’m thinking about stopping-like completely.” Mickey said nervously looking away from Charlie now.   Charlie looked up at Mickey and smiled “because of Ian right?” Charlie said but yet asked   Mickey shrugged his shoulder at Charlie “He aint the only reason Charlie, but yeah part of him is. He’s been kinds of taking me out on little dates, and we’ve been talking and nothing big, but I like him. I mean you fucking know this shit already and plus I still have to talk to Yev, which I already know he’s gonna say yes to stop being escort. But it’s like I feel wrong going out at night fucking, than coming home cleaning up and just acting like shit is normal talking to Ian like it’s nothing, because it’s not….Plus I don’t know, I really don’t want keep doing this shit. I’m fucking miss out on Yev’s life, plus I can’t stand have him worried about me or worry about me for that matter. So…I just want to stop-but I want to make sure it’s the right time you know?” Mickey said to Charlie looking at him and not taking his eyes off his best friend “So what you think?” he finally said   Charlie laughed and shook his head at Mickey. Mickey glared at Charlie for laughing, but Charlie quickly spoke before he got a fist to the face. He didn’t want that again. “Look I’m not laughing at you okay. But it’s about fucking time Mickey! Dude you know if need any help or anything I got you. Money or any other shit.” Charlie said   Mickey smirked at Charlie and breathed out loudly and got off the desk “Well I’m gonna need you to help me let down my other clients, but leave Alessandra Corinthos to me. She knows about my situation and Yev so she’ll understand why I want to stop. But the others might need a new escort and good one. And before you say anything I know you still talk to Sheldon. So see if he can get set them up with someone whose good.”   Charlie crossed his arms across his chest “I got you man, no problem. Just tell me when to do and it’s done okay”   “Good!” Mickey said and slapped Charlie on the back. “Now I’m going home! Ian wants like a lunch thing and I told Yev I would be home early.” Mickey said   “I’m hurt! We fuck then you leave!?” Charlie said jokingly “Ugh you such the perfect man! Where the fuck have you been all my life!?” Charlie said laughing and Mickey gave him the middle finger “I’ll get you an uber then” Charlie said ordering the car for Mickey “should be here in 5 minutes okay?”   “Thanks man.” Mickey said smiling walking out door into the club and in the crowd out the door. What Mickey didn’t know was that his early morning smile will turn end up turning upside down really fast.   ********************* Mickey got home pretty fast, the cab was outside waiting for him when he exist out the club. When he got home Yev was fast asleep, with the TV still playing. Mickey turned Yev’s TV off and went to do what he normally does when he gets home from his night job. Mickey looked at his phone and wanted to call Ian, but something told him not to. So after his shower and getting his bed out, he laid down and fell fast asleep.   When Mickey got up, it was because of his alarm, Yev was already next to him watching TV on the sofa bed and cuddle up next to his dad. “Morning little man.” Mickey said “what are you watching?” Mickey said turning around from laying on his stomach and leaning closer to Yev.   “reruns dad!” Yev said leaning his head on his dad head watching TV “are you getting up now? It’s 10:45”   Mickey then sat up and stretched his body “Yeeeeah” Mickey said yarning out “I have to get ready to go to Ian.” Mickey grunted out and Yev’s face lite up like a fucking night light.   “DATE!” Yev shouted to his dad as he went to the bathroom   “Brunch, but yeah!” Mickey said and went to go into the bathroom to get ready for his day.   When Mickey was ready to head out the door to Ian he shot Ian a text saying he was on his way over to his apartment. Yev looked at his dad and smiled widely at him “Dad you look awesome. And I’m really loving the whole bad ass black jean, button down rolled up sleeve shirt you got going on for yah! Makes you look not only awesome, but Awesomely hot! Ian is so gonna be on you.” Yev said and Mickey shook his head at his son   “You know you’re too much right now  little man.” Mickey said looking at himself again in the mirror “It aint nothing, we’re just gonna have like breakfast lunch at his house.” Mickey said   Yev laughed “Yeah okay? Suuuure whatever you say dad! Just make sure you have protection with you!” Yev said going into his room and coming back out with a book to read.   “Oh. My. God. Only you Yev, only you.” Mickey said heading towards the door. “I’ll be back later on okay? If anything knock on the door okay?” Mickey said   “Yes dad! Know leave! Go before you’re late!” Yev said pushing his dad out the door.   Mickey was in the hallway of the apartment building, he walked over to Ian’s door and knocked on it. He waited for a bit, and there was no answer. Mickey knocked again and went to take his phone out to text Ian. But before he could do that Ian swung the door open and looked at Mickey. Mickey smiled at Ian and Ian gave him a small smile and nodded his head gesturing for him to come in. Mickey did so, as Ian opened the door wider for him to come in.   Mickey notice that Ian wasn’t dressed and felt a little out of place, because he was dressed up. I mean this would be the regular clothes he would were, but still. “So I text you, but it looks like you were still sleeping. I’m sorry if I woke you or something or came over too early man.” Mickey said nervously   Ian still hadn’t spoke and shook his head at Mickey. He was trying to calm himself down after what he heard and saw last night. But it wasn’t working. “No, I just didn’t feel like getting out of my pajama, and I didn’t feel like texting back. Since you know you were coming over anyways.” Ian said somewhat bitterly and made his way to his sofa.   Mickey found Ian’s tone a bit off, but ignored it. He figured maybe Ian wasn’t such a morning person. But then again neither what Mickey. “So what are we eating?” Mickey said trying not to feel uncomfortable because he already was feeling like that.   Ian didn’t answer except he just asked Mickey a question instead “So did you work yesterday? I mean at night?” Ian said   Mickey looked at Ian and raised his eye brow but nodded “Um yeah? Why?” Mickey said   “Nothing, just wanted to know you know? I mean I texted you last night and shit figured you weren’t too busy to text me, but I guess I was wrong?” Ian said   “Um yeah…I was pretty busy. I had to handle a few thing last night. But everything was good at the end of the night” Mickey said before Ian could respond Mickey spoke again “Hey can I use your bathroom real quick?”   Ian just nodded his head and saw Mickey walk off to the bathroom.  Ian was beyond pissed at this moment. He couldn’t keep his cool and he knew he was going to exploded, but fuck it right.  Mickey was escort….Mickey fucking Mickey. He’s an escort!? A fucking hooker, he’s fucking guys for a living and apparently woman to it seems.  So what sleeping with Ian was what…a job? No it wasn’t a job, it was to get his kicks off and use Ian. That’s exactly how Ian felt like it was. This asshole! That’s why he’s always so tired, why he doesn’t want a relationship, why he stays out all late at night, why that fucking asshole; he even forget to wake up to go to Yev’s school, and Yev called him, and he lied to him…… Ian was pissed and he didn’t care if Mickey had a reason, because there is no reason!   Mickey came out of Ian’s bathroom smirking at Ian, but then it faded away when he saw Ian’s face “What wrong Ian?”   Ian gets up and goes to his room without saying anything. He comes out and opens his wallet up and then throw a 100 bucks at Mickey.  Mickey is taken back by this and then looks at Ian and glares at him. Mickey doesn’t say anything and is still looking at Ian. So Ian decided to speak “What!? You’re worth more or some shit?” Ian asked then goes back into his wallet taking out more money “Here!” he says and throws more bills at Mickey. “No better yet here look at this” Ian throws pictures at Mickey of the surveillance he was doing on Corinthos house.   Mickey looks at the picture Ian threw at him and is in shock and can’t say anything. A few of the pictures you can clearly see Mickey in them and what he’s doing with Amando. Mickey now knows why Ian invited him over here, and he refuses to let Ian think of him low, he refuses to let Ian’s reaction make him feel more less than he does when he goes out at nights. Those emotions turn into Mickey being pissed off now “Fuck you!” he shouted at Ian   “No Mickey! See I can’t fuck you I already did remember!?” Ian shouted “But even if I wanted to I can’t because apparently you charge for your service! Right?  So I have to pay for you right!? So here….take the money Mick!” Ian says with venom behind his voice “You already gave me a blow job and let me fuck you! No wonder why it was do fucking good because apparently you’re already a fucking pro at it!” Ian yells at him   Mickey is fuming and punches Ian in the face who stumbles “You don’t know shit about what the fuck you’re saying or what I fucking do okay!” Mickey yelled at Ian.   “Oh no Mickey I do.” Ian says standing up straight looking at him and wiping the little bit of blood from his mouth “I know that you’re a slut! That the only reason you go out at night is to fuck guys, get laid and get paid.” Ian was seeing red “God what kind of person are?  Who does that shit and leaves their 10 years kid at home to do that? And fucking think I don’t know that you leave Yev at home by himself at night to get fucked because I do!” Ian yelled out   Mickey didn’t say anything, he just stood their quiet; because yeah, it was true Mickey did do that. Mickey was an escort and had clients. Before Mickey could say something Ian continued on speaking   “So am I to assume Charlie fucking knows or some shit, because that whole bullshit of you working at his club is a fucking lie, just like you are!” Ian said with so much heat behind his voice   Mickey was able to speak now “Fuck you okay! You don’t understand okay! This is why I didn’t want a fucking anything to happen between us!” Mickey said picking up the money at the same time and throwing it back at Ian “And I didn’t sleep with you for money you fucking prick. I slept with you because I wanted to! Not because I had to!” Mickey yelled at Ian   Ian chuckled with no humor “Yeah right! So who else knows huh? I mean how many guys do you fuck a week Mickey or shall I asked how many fuck you!” Ian wanted to know he wanted answer   Mickey didn’t feel like he needed to explain himself to Ian “None of your fucking business! My life and my Sons life is none of your fucking business Ian! So don’t fucking worry about it!” Mickey slashed back out at Ian   “Well considering my sister calls you family and trusts you then yeah….See you making a fool out of her place of business. What you pick up clients there too Mick?” Ian asked “You go ahead and you tell them you can suck there dicks if they give you a bigger tip!”   And with that comment Mickey punched Ian with a right hook. Ian stumbled back a little but kept his balance “You think you know everything huh? Well let me tell you; you piece of shit! What Id o is for me and my son! You don’t know shit so don’t fucking come at me like you know anything okay! I told you! I fucking told you I’m not perfect!” Mickey pointed to himself and continued to talk “But what I do at night, I do to make sure we have enough!” Mickey said firmly to Ian   Ian looked unimpressed “Oh yeah, I’m sure you have enough huh? It’s probably why it was so easy for me to fuck into you right?” Ian said with so much angry behind his voice that Mickey slightly flinched at what he said “You know because all you do is use your asshole and get fucked or be the one fucking, I’m surprised your dick hasn’t fallen off! Or that you haven’t caught some disease already! Better yet I’m surprised you still get pleasure! You know being an expensive whore 24/7 and all, I’m sure Charlie probably either your pimp or a client-shit I won’t even be surprised at that really.” If Ian wanted to hurt Mickey he was doing one hell of a job, because right now Mickey was silent as Ian was just going at him telling him off “I mean come the fuck on man, I’m surprised anyone would pay for your ass as much as it’s been used!” Ian said pacing back and forth and looked at Mickey “Maybe because you’re an easy fuck! I mean shit I fucked you and you gave it up willingly! You're nothing but a fucking whore!”   Ian kept on, and on, going at Mickey; saying things to him, at him and Mickey just stared at him. Not saying a word to him…he just stared at Ian. And what hurt the most was that all Ian was saying was true. In Mickey’s eyes it was true and how Mickey felt about himself was low. Mickey always felt down, used, disgusting, alone and miserable. Most of the time he would numb out the pain the only way he could. But Mickey always felt bad about himself, like he was worthless and it didn’t make it any better that he felt like he wasn’t a good enough person, let alone a good dad. He felt like some way somehow he would fuck it up. Everything was a blur to Mickey of what Ian was saying to him; that was until Ian mentions Yevgeny and that was whenever thing stop and Mickey was brought out of his thoughts.   “What kind of fucking parent are you?” Ian said and Mickey gave him a murderous glare and before Mickey could say anything Ian continued to talk “See that’s what I Can’t get! You say you do it for you and Yev, but what kind of parent leaves there child home alone to go fuck guys for a living! You think I didn't notice how sometimes he he'll have a bruise on his arms, or he always looks tired all the fucking time! You have to be the most worse fucking kind of parent yet! Do you even love or care for your son!?” Ian shouted   Mickey was beyond pissed now “You better fucking stop right fucking there!” Mickey said angrily “I’m a good fucking parent to Yev! I give him everything he needs and wants! I support him and love my son more than anything in this world and would do anything if that meant he would be okay!” Mickey shouted at Ian. No one and I mean no one fucking should call him a bad parent, because he did what he needed for Yev “So FUCK YOU IAN! FUCK YOU for saying I don’t love my son because I DO!” Mickey yelled   Ian snorted at that “Like hell you do you! You’re a fucking unfit father Mickey is what you are!” Ian snapped out   “NO the fuck I’m not and fuck you for saying that shit to me! Yev is loved and cared for by me. I’m the one who provides for him and who he goes to okay. He’s my son and I’d do anything and I mean fucking anything for that little boy! So Fuck You Ian!” Mickey shouted and pointed at Ian as he spoke to him “You don’t get shit, you don’t fucking understands or know anything about me and my son!” Mickey said   Ian shook his head, and crossed his arms. He was upset and glared at Mickey “Yeah see you keep fucking tell me that, but all I’m hearing and seeing is bullshit! Because you Mickey” Ian said walking up to Mickey “You got caught! So now what, the evil truth comes out and you think I’m supposed to feel bad or understand and some shit! You’re a whore, you fucking people for a living, you probably just fucked me for kicks or some shit. All you are is worthless piece of shit! Who uses guys for money!” Ian said   Mickey doesn’t say anything he should he should tell Ian why he’s an escort at night. But then what would that solve? Ian would already think of him as even a weaker person. Shit he already hates him and sees him in a disgusting way. So Ian wouldn’t believe him as to why he does what he does at night.   Ian continued on talking “You know what Mickey you got caught! So tell me why I shouldn’t arrest you!” Ian said and Mickey looked at like he was crazy   Mickey walked up to Ian with a death glare. Like hell he was getting arrested “For fucking what! You can’t prove shit! For all you know I meeting up with a fuck buddy and that shit aint illegal!” Mickey said to Ian   Ian laughed at Mickey “My word verse your!”   “Yeah well your word aint shit! You fucked me remember? So how would that look on you huh? You wanna arrest me go ahead, but you go no fucking proof Ian! NONE!” Mickey spat back out at Ian   “You know I can arrest you for being a neglectful father! I should call fucking DCFS on your ass! Maybe then you would see how much of a fucking neglectful piece of shit you are!” Ian said. He just wanted to hurt Mickey so much, but apart of Ian felt that Mickey was neglectful. Leaving Yev by himself for him seeing Yev tired sometimes and the bruises on his arms, and doing what he did at night. Mickey wouldn’t even remember to go to Yev’s school when he needed to. Shit if Fiona or Ian didn’t do it, then who would!   Mickey then got a homicidal look in his eyes and went up to Ian and spoke with the most deadly voice anyone would cringe and be scared of “You call them and you’ll regret it! Because Ian…I Will make your life so fucking miserable and I will kill you! You got that! I will kill you if someone tries to take my son away from me! I’m not a neglectful parent, just because I’m an escort at night doesn’t mean I’m a bad dad.  And just so were fucking clear, if you arrest me or try to have anyone do it just remember you fucked me to Ian.”   Ian laughed at Mickey. “You know you’re not fit to be a father….All you do is act like this good guy, single dad, who tries to work hard. But in reality you’re just a dirty skanky whore who fucks high price guys for a living!” Ian said spitful to Mickey.   Mickey then hits Ian again out of nowhere and Ian then hits him back. They were on the ground wrestling and Ian almost has Mickey pinned down but then Mickey pushes Ian off of him and kicks him in the ball while he’s still on the ground. Ian instantly grabs his sack and falls into his knees and grunts out in pain.   Mickey scrambles himself up and looks down at Ian who’s looking at him and is pissed “You stay away from my son and ME! And don’t you fucking breathe a word about what you think you know to Fiona! It’s no one’s business and it sure as hell isn’t in your place to judge me or tell anyone about my business! I’m a good dad and I’m a god father to Yev. I love Yev more than anything in this world! So just stay the fuck away from him and me, because I don’t owe you shit!” Mickey said emotionally and left Ian’s apartment slamming the door behind him leaving Ian on the floor looking at the door as it closed.   ***********   When Mickey left Ian’s apartment he felt so many things. He felt ashamed of himself and even more disgusted and even more dirty. He didn’t think he could feel worse about himself than he did already.  He walked into his apartment and sat down on the sofa thinking of what just happened. Fuck now Ian knows! This was all Mickey’s fault, he got careless again, reckless and now Ian has a reason to call DCFS on him and they can take Yev. But Mickey felt Ian would do that, he couldn’t do that. He had to have known that Mickey was a good dad….right?   Mickey wouldn’t let that happen, he would die before he let anyone take Yev away from him. Yev was his life and he did what he did for him, for them. So that Yev would get better and so that Yev got the best and everything he needed. But Mickey couldn’t help but feel what Ian said was true. He did feel like a loser, like nothing, like he was neglectfully to Yev. With working so much, he did feel like a failure as a parent. All Yev wanted to do was have Mickey around more, instead Mickey wasn’t, not that Yev complained but the kid did prefer to have his dad around more. Yev only got him a few nights a week if he was lucky and on Saturday’s Yev was all Mickey’s. Mickey knew this at some point and level.   Yev would be in school all day then his after school program which Mickey paid for, because he wanted to go to those programs. Yev would be picked up by Fiona most of the time, and rarely by Mickey.  Then from there Mickey would take him home from when Fiona dropped him off at the diner, he would cook at home while Yev did his homework. Yev never asked for help with his homework unless it was hard, but Mickey would always help him no matter what. Then they would eat, and Yev and him would watch TV for about an hour and Yev would wash up while Mickey check his homework. Yev would go to bed afterwards and Mickey would get ready to go see his clients for the night. Sometime Yev would still be up and that didn’t bother Mickey because he knew Yev just wanted to spend time with him.   Mickey would leave Yev for hours at night….so Ian was right. He was a horrible dad; no kid should have to be worried about their parent at night; or concerned for them. A kid should be a kid and have fun and get in trouble and just be happy.  It’s supposed to be like that not the other way around, and Mickey had made sure that Yev had everything he needed and wanted. He made sure Yev knew he was always loved and okay, and Mickey always tried to let Yev know that he was okay, and that he didn’t have to worry about Mickey at night.   But now…Now it was different. Now Yev was older, knew more, and started to ask Mickey to stop working at night even a few times. And mickey is going to stop…well he was-he should and he will.  But Mickey needed some time to get everything situated. Not anymore, this was a wakeup call, and Mickey needed to stop ASAP. Like Now!   While thinking of everything, Yev sees his dad on the sofa. He looks like he’s thinking. Yev comes out of this room and walks towards his father and knows something is off, but the way Mickey is just sitting there staring out at nothing.   “Dad? Dad what’s wrong?” Yev asked   Mickey notices Yev is there and looks up at him and swallows hard before he speaks “It’s nothing Yev. Nothing you shouldn’t have to worry about it okay.” Mickey says not knowing that Yev can see past his dad’s words   “Dad; come on…you look….well you look sad and miserable. Did something happen with Ian?” Yev asked   Mickey sighed “Yev it’s nothing okay. Seriously please don’t worry about it okay.”   Yev looks at his dad and frowned “Dad?” Yev said and he waits for his dad to look at him. Yev sees that his dad had to have been crying or is on the verge of crying. “Dad; Since when did we start lying to each other?” was all Yev said “You promised to never lie to me remember?”   With that Mickey looks away from his son and nods his head. For some reason, he gets a flash back of 5 years old. 5 years ago was when he made that promise to Yev, and ever since then, neither one of them has ever lied to them.   5_Years_ago   Yev was lying in the hospital bed hooded up to the machines. The IV in his tiny hands; Mickey was staring at his son as he slept. His chest would rise up and down. Yev looked so pale, Mickey wanted to cry, but didn’t.  He couldn’t do that now. Yev needed him to be strong, he needed to be strong for his son. Yev had a big bed, so Mickey sometimes would decide to lay with him. Yev loved being next to his dad when he woke up.   Mickey was on his side looking at his son. He cursed the universe for doing this to Yev. Yev was a good kid, he deserved so much more. Saving up for the surgery is hard, but Mickey will do and is doing whatever he can to make sure Yev gets it. The nurse comes in the room, Mickey knew her, knew all the nurses that came in and checked on Yev. The nurse smiled at both father and son. Mickey got up from the bed, so the nurse can check Yev’s vitals properly. Mickey felt that Yev was always there favorite.  They treated him gently and brought him gifts. The kid was a ladies man alright, that much Mickey knew.   When the nurse done, she gave Mickey a warily smile and he nodded at her and Mickey gave her a small smile as a ‘thank you’ without saying a word. Mickey walked back to the bed and took his sons hand and caressed it. Yev looked so peaceful sleeping. Mickey smiled at him as he remembered the conversation him and Yev had about Batman and Superman.  Mickey was so in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice when Fiona came in the room and was standing at the end of the bed looking at both men in her life.   “Hey” She said in a soft voice “How’s he doing?” she asked. Knowing it was a dumb question it was the only thing she could think of.   Mickey didn’t look up at her, all he did was shake his head no “I don’t know Fi. One minute he’s fine then the next he’s having trouble breathing and feeling weak” Mickey said and sighed as he sat down holding Yev’s hand not letting go. Fiona comes over and sits next to him rubbing his back. Mickey looked at Fiona and spoke “Any word from Jimmy about transferring Yev yet?” Mickey asked   Fiona sighed as well “No, not yet. Jimmy’s trying thought. Soon Yev can be where Jimmy is at and the children’s hospital there is better than here. Plus Jimmy’s trying hard to push for Yev’s name to go on the list.” Fiona said. All Mickey did was nod his head in response. “He’s going to be okay Mick. I know he is. He’s a Milkovich Gallagher!” Fiona said smiling at her best friend.   Mickey chuckled and shook his head at her. Fiona had Yev calling her titi (aunt) and at first Mickey minded but then he didn’t after a while. Fiona did act like an aunt to Yev, plus Mickey trusted Fiona and when Yev got sick, she was there for him. Just like always. “What if he’s not though? Mickey said “What Am I gonna do? The money and the expenses, everything and what if he doesn’t get better or what if he gets worse?” Mickey’s voice cracked “What if I lose him Fi!” Mickey let out a few tears and Fiona wiped them away   “Hey! Look at me okay?” Fiona says “Mickey look at me!” When Mickey does Fiona continues talking “He’s gonna be okay alright.”   “You don’t know that.” Mickey says helplessly   “Yes I do!” Fiona said firmly to him   Mickey looked at Fiona and gave her sad face “Fiona…his name is low on the list Fi. If he there’s a match for a donor he won’t be the first one to get it since none of us are a fucking match…I hate this shit! I hate I can’t do anything for him, and I’m fucking useless!” Mickey said   That got Fiona upset “Hey!” Fiona said and Mickey looked away from her then back at her then Yev “You’re not useless Mick, do you understand me! This right here” Fiona said pointing at Yev and the machines “You can’t control Mickey! No one can, you understand me! No one!” Fiona said with tears in her eyes. Mickey wiped her tears and nodded his head at her.   “Daddy” Yev said weakly   Mickey looked at Yev and got up “Yeah little man? I’m here you okay?”   “M’thirsty” Yev said and Mickey helped Yev sit up and held the cup of water with a straw for Yev as he drank it. When he was done he helped Yev lay back down and he looked weak.  Fiona got up and went to his left side as Mickey was on his right side. “Hey little man! How are you feeling?” Fiona asked   Yev looked at her sand smiled “tired.” Yev said groggily   Fiona nodded her head “I know little man, don’t worry okay” Fiona said to Yev. She looked over at Mickey and Mickey was speechless. His facial expression was unreadable, but when Mickey looked up at Fiona, she saw his eyes.  Mickey emotions were in his eyes. Fear, worriedness, sadness, and pain; he wanted to let it out, but didn’t. And instead he looked away and smiled at Yev. Making funny faces at him. Yev laughed a little but was tired, so he closed his eyes, he smiled though when he felt when he felt his dad give him a kiss on the forehead.   Mickey and Fiona walked to the window in the room. Fiona looked at him and whisper to him “How you holding up love?” she said to him. She worried about Mickey a lot. He closed up since Yev got in the hospital and that worried her even more, because she knew Mickey wasn’t one for talking about his feelings, rather he was the one who hid them and not in the best way.   Mickey signed and looked at her. He didn’t want to talk about anything right now. But he knew she wouldn’t let up “I don’t know Fi? He’s not getting better and the doctors here are assholes. I cant fucking stand it here!” Mickey said in a low hiss   Fiona rubbed his back and they stood looking at the window “I know Mick. But hopefully we can get the transfer soon for Yev to go to other hospital.  Soon okay? We just have to be a little more stronger for him to hold on.” Fiona   With that Mickey almost broke down “I know that okay! ….I know it’s just” Mickey bumped his head to the window and closed his eyes and just let it all out for Fiona to hear. “Fi What if-what if (Mickey huffed out) what if he doesn’t get better? What if he….fuck” Mickey said, having the thought of losing Yev. “His body is weak….his immune system isn’t so strong and I’m afraid.” Mickey said weakly trying hard not to cry.   Fiona wrapped her arms around Mickey and didn’t say anything. She just held on to Mickey, and Mickey didn’t cry, not in front of no one. He couldn’t and not now because his son needed him be strong.  After a while of silence, the evening started to come around and Fiona left to get her and Mickey something to eat. She didn’t want to leave Yev and Mickey, but he insisted she go get some fresh air for the both of them. Jimmy was bringing Liam over in later on. So Mickey was right, she might as well go get some food for them. Plus she knew Yev would want some Ice cream. He always did when he slept long hours.   When Fiona left, Mickey went right back to lying next to Yev. Yev turned and looked at his dad “Daddy?” Yev said in a whisper and Mickey opened his eyes and look at him.   “Yeah baby?” Mickey said in a soft voice to Yev   Yevgeny was silent for a moment and just looked at his dad. He saw the dark circle in his eyes, the worried look he had, the redness in his eyes, and his dad looked very tired. But Yev wanted to know something and he wanted to know right then and there “daddy…am I gonna die?” Yev said lowly.   Mickey was slightly taken back by Yev’s question and his eyes sting. He sniffed and looked at Yev trying to not show his son how worried of that he was “No.” Mickey said in a whisper “No! No you’re not okay?” Mickey now said firmly. Yev looked at his dad and let tears fall down out of his face now. He knew his dad was lying “Yev?  Yev why are you crying? Please stop baby don’t cry please” Mickey begged Yev and Yev couldn’t hold it in anymore   Yev was crying and Mickey just held him tight and they stood there for a while. Yev then pulled away from his dad and that hurt Mickey. “Don’t lie to me daddy.” Yev said to his dad now firmly as he could “I don’t like liars….so don’t lie to me, don’t be like those doctors.” Yev said   “Yev?” Mickey said weakly   “Tell me the truth!” Yev said looking at his dad and he was so small that Mickey’s chest ached in pain   Mickey looked at his son and felt a tear come down his face. “Honestly Yev?” He said and breathe in and out before he spoke again “I don’t know Yev….I honestly don’t know. But I don’t want to think about losing you” Mickey said to his son   Yev was silent for a moment at his dad confession; he was relieved but also scared. He looked at his dad and spoke “So I might die then daddy?” Yev said in a low voice   Mickey held and fought back his tears and looked at his son in his eyes and spoke the truth. It was what he wanted and Mickey wasn’t going to take that away from him. Yevgeny deserved everything good in this fucked up world, and if that meant Mickey sucking it up and telling him the truth like he wanted. Then he was going to give Yev anything and everything he wanted. Even if that meant destroying his own sanity in the processes “Yeah” He said to Yev and Yev looked up at him. Both blue eyes looked at each other; there were so much emotions of realization of what was happening.   “Daddy?” Yev said not looking away from his father   “Yes Yev.” Mickey said   Yev took his dad’s hand and looked back up at him “Let’s not ever lie to each other okay?” Yev said and Mickey nodded his head yes. Yev had a right to know whether he was going to get better or not.  It was his life after all and Mickey was in charge of trying to protect him and love him. Some parents might now agree in telling their child the truth, but Mickey saw in Yev’s eyes that he didn’t want the bullshit. He wanted the truth, because he wasn’t a stupid kid, he was a smart one. And he was Mickey’s   “Okay…Promise? Pink promise dad!” Yev said to Mickey.   Mickey smiled at his son and laid next to him. Yev smiled at his dad as Mickey took his pinky and they made a promise.  A promise to never lie to each other and a promise to be best friends and a promise to protect and love each other no matter what.   Present_day   So now Mickey was looking at Yev, he did promise to never lie to Yev; they both promised one another. Mickey inhaled and exhaled out then he spoke “Ian….Ian he ah…he found out Yev.” Yev stood silent not saying anything and looking at his father “I don’t know how he did, but did. He showed me pictures of me and a client. We got into and he called me a fucking unfit father, and worthless.” Mickey said lowly.   “Bad enough I already feel like that every fucking day, but now? I mean you know he’s right.” Mickey said “I’m not a good dad. Ian was right; I mean I fucking try Yev, what kind of dad am I really? I leave you here at night; I go, I work come home, then work again, and miss out on every fucking thing that you do. Like with school, and fucking here!” Mickey said in tears. He didn’t look at Yev and see the disappointment in his eyes that he always saw when he looked in the mirror.   When Yev didn’t say anything Mickey looked at his son and saw something he didn’t think he would see. Yev was glaring at him and Mickey felt worse “I’m so sorry…Yev I’m sorry for being me, and being a bad dad. For not being here when I know you need me. I’m fucking sorry for having a job that makes you worry and scaring the shit of you when I was in the hospital….Yev you shouldn’t have to go through that!” Looking away from Yev, and wiping his face. He spoke lowly now “I’m so sorry you got stuck with me as your father” Mickey chocked out. He felt low beyond low and he didn’t want to put any of this on Yev. Yev deserved the world, god he deserved much more than that. And that was all Mickey wanted to give him. A better life and a chance to live that life he was given good and right and happy.   Yev still hadn’t said anything, but all he did was go to his father and hugged him tight as could. Mickey then held his son back and cried.  Mickey kept telling Yev over and over again he was sorry. Apart of Yev knew his dad would break down one day. He hoped that he would do it when he was older and able to say the right thing when the time came. Yev viewed that older people knew more and were way better at this kind of stuff. But little did he know that just hugging his dad was all Mickey needed. Yev just held his dad closer to him, trying hard to hug him even more closer if that was possible. Yev wasn’t ashamed of his dad; he wasn’t mad at him or hated him. In fact, Yev loved his dad even more and appreciated everything he did for him, now even more if that was possible.   “Dad?” Yev said “Dad you’re a good person and a good dad!” Yev said passionately “Don’t let what Ian say to you effect you okay? You shouldn’t  let anyone make you feel bad about yourself….what you always tell me when the kids at school tease me huh? You tell me to tell them to go fuck themselves right? So I’m telling you dad Fuck him!” Yev said   Mickey laughed and wiped his face with his shirt “You shouldn’t have to worry about me okay? That aint your job little man.” Mickey said   Yev shrugged his shoulders “So…somebodies has to do it right? Plus a wise man once told me to never stress anything out. But to simply tell people or whatever the hell is wrong with me to fuck it! So Fuck it dad!” Yev said with a smile on his face   Mickey laughed again “God I love you. You know that right? But stop fucking cursing so much.” Mickey said and smiled at his son.   Yev smiled and rolled his eyes at his dad “I know that you love me daddy! So don’t let Ian hurt you! Plus I’m not cursing so much as to expressing myself.” Yev said and smiled “Plus dad…Ian doesn’t know why you do what you do, and as much as I wish you weren’t an escort…It’s been the only thing that’s helped us pay for everything and help me!”   “Yeah so much good has come from it” Mickey said bitterly looking away from his son   “Dad” Yev said sadly   “No Yev! You don’t get it…and I swore on my life the day you were born that you would never feel what it was like to have my life as a kid. I swore that when I started doing this shit, That you will never feel as disgusted of yourself as I do every night…It’s just the way Ian looked at me, and said what he said to me and everything….” Mickey sadly looking at his son. “…Shit I feel more horrible and disgusted of myself then I ever did before, because what he said was true.” Mickey said   And that’s what got Yevgeny mad; no body and I mean nobody makes his dad feel a certain way about himself. Makes him feel low and small, nobody had no fucking right and no one was prefect. Everyone including Yev made mistakes in his young life, but nobody deserves to feel so low about themselves.  Ian didn’t know about what they went through. What Mickey did, or why Mickey did what he did, or why Mickey felt it was his only option at the time. No!…no one knew but Yev and Charlie, and even so Charlie didn’t know everything, not like how Yev did, not like how Yev understood.   “Dad” Yev said strongly   Mickey looked at his son and Yev saw his eyes red and all puffy. “I love you okay? Don’t ever forget that. You do so much for me, and if mom were here, she would love you just as much as I do and be so proud of you for raising me and taking care of me.” Yev said to Mickey, to his dad. He really wanted to make his dad feel better and see that yes. He was a good dad, yes he was the best dad, he did so much for him, and yet no one took the time to really see how good of dad he was. No one knew about how Yev was still scared of the closet so Mickey always closed it for him, or how he would leave the night light on even if the light bill was too high. Or how sometimes Mickey use to go to work so exhausted after dropping Yev off at school, just because he didn’t want to take the bus alone. Or how when Yev was sick, Mickey never left his side not for one second, or how Mickey would cut the crust off his bread just because he knew Yev hated it, or how Mickey would buy him a new game if he wanted it without him asking him. Or how his dad would check his homework even though he knew he was tired but he didn’t care. Mickey check his homework and always made sure it was right, and when it wasn’t he would help Yev. No one knew that Yev sometimes still got nightmare and he would climb in his dad’s bed when he was there or when he wasn’t there and Mickey wasn’t home yet. Mickey never moved him to his bed. He would just sing a song to him in his sleep and kiss his son on the forehead and cuddle next to him. Or whenever Yev was scared of something or sick Mickey would make hot chocolate for him and add extra marshmallows in it for him.   No! no one knew what his dad did for him and that was just some of the things and not all. Coming home to a warm meal, a heated house, fully stocked food in the kitchen was something important that not many parents did. And so what if Mickey missed out on a few things at school, Yev didn’t mind. But he knew that if his dad could be there he would in a heartbeat.  So you know what? No! no one knew and appreciated his father more than Yev did. No one knew there struggles, especially when his dad would go out his way to always visit his mom on her birthday, mothers day, Christmas and any other time Yev just wanted to see her. His dad did it for him.   “I don’t about that Yev” Mickey said “Your mom would probably beat the shit out of me if she knew what I did.” Mickey said smiling at Yev   Yev laughed at that “Yeah, but she wouldn’t hate you dad, plus she wouldn’t look down at you either.” Yev simply said   Mickey looked at his son and smiled even more “Oh Yeah and how do you know that?” Mickey asked   Yev shrugged his shoulders and smiled at his dad “Because I know! And Because I don’t look down at you and I’m not ashamed of you. And I’m half of you and her, so I know these things dad” Yev said as a matter of fact. Mickey smiled at Yev and just admired his son even more   “You’re a good kid you know that?” Mickey said as a statement to Yev   “Well duh of course I am!” Yev said smugly “and you’re a good dad! So what’d you say we watch some TV and have our day like it’s supposed to be” he finished off saying   And that was exactly what both men did. They stood home watched TV, joked and played video games. Everything seemed fine for now at least. But that wouldn’t last for long as they would both soon find out. Chapter End Notes It's going to get more emotional and hard from here, so I'm letting you guys know I will try my hardest to be 2 chapters a head. Be prepared for sadness sorry. Let me know what yah think okay xoxoxo everyone ***** Better Days ***** Chapter Summary I wish everyone was loved tonight And somehow stop this endless fight Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days So take these words and sing out loud 'Cause everyone is forgiven now 'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days Chapter Notes Okay so here's the next chapter. I've had trouble ending this chapter, not to mention person things have happened as well. So sorry for the late chapter. I hope you guys like this one. So again Let me know what you guys think of this chapter. I'm working on another chapter for this but also my other fic, so give me a few days to post up another one on here. This chapter is a bit emotional. But let me know what yah think about it. I love your comment and your kudos and you guys subscribe to them is awesome. So Thank you. See the end of the chapter for more notes Yev told him that maybe he should talk to Ian about the whole thing and explain to him the whole situation. Mickey agreed and felt that maybe talking things out like an adult was best. Instead of what Mickey had originally planned which was to beat the shit of Ian until he was sure he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. There was also another option to always move and pick up and leave and find a different place to live.  After that following day, Mickey told Yev he was going to be taking a break for a while from his night job and cancel all his clients for the next couple of month. Mickey didn’t tell Yev about Ian’s empty threats but none the less he didn’t want take any chances.  Yev was a little concerned and asked his dad if he thought it was a good idea and if he was sure. That was for you; always making sure things were okay, a part of Mickey hated that because it wasn’t Yev’s job to worry. That he knows he definitely got from Svet.   However Mickey reassured Yev but telling him the truth “Yeah Yev I’m sure I can cancel my clients and there appointments with me….Plus the last client I had gave me more than double. So we should be good okay.”   “Really?” Yev said as his eyes widen “Who?” Yev asked thinking of who gave his dad more money.   Mickey looked at Yev and hated that he knew a few of his clients and who they were. That was Mickey’s mistake. He accidently left his black book list on the table one time with the clients names, address, and amount for each night. SO of course Yev was noisy and read it. Mickey looked at his son and shrugged his shoulders “the major’s nephew Peter.” Mickey simply said.   Yev looked at his dad and was grinning at him and Mickey knows that look “Okay what’d you want?” Mickey asked him. Knowing that Yev would want something.   Yev smiled brightly at his dad “Okay so I want the new Battle Front Game, and anything Batman, and yeah Aaaaannnyyything Batman! Oh and Borderlands 2 since I can’t find minds?” Yev said   Mickey shook his head and laughed “Why do I even ask?” Mickey said   Yev looked at his dad and shrugged and smiled playfully “I honestly don’t even know why you do?” Yev said giving Mickey a confused yet you should know look on his face.  Yevgeny then laughed at his dad when Mickey gave him a dully face and rolled his eyes him, which ended in a smirk.   Yev walked up to his dad and said “So you got more than enough for the rest of the bills and other stuff we need to pay for dad?” Yev then said to his father   Mickey looked at his son as he was cooking “One, that’s shouldn’t be your problem or your concern, and yes I do by the way. So don’t worry about it” Mickey said softly to his son “And yes I will get you whatever it is you want” Mickey said but then put the spoon down that he was using for the rice and beans “But!” Mickey said firmly and that had Yev snapping his head to look at his dad. That tone of voice meant business. Shit! “Your reading and science test, you have to pass. And if not, you can’t play with the new games or get the stuff I get you till I say so! Got that little man.” Mickey said.   Yev sat down on the table chair and rolled his eyes and sighed, “but Daaaaaad!” Yev whined     Mickey tried not to laugh, so instead he mimicked his son “But Yeeeeeeeev!” Mickey said crossing his arms across his chest and looking at his son “I spoke to your teacher, and since I’m gonna be home a lot more now I can help you out a lot more. We can study better and the reading I don’t know why you failed your last to test, but that shit aint happening no more.” Mickey said “Me and you (Mickey point to him and Yev) are gonna be study buddies got it! Deal!” Mickey said to Yev   Yev huffed “Fiiiiine Deal! It’s a stupid deal! But deal! Plus the only reason why I didn’t pass the last to two was because I knew all the answers and the essay was so easy, that my brain would have melted at how easy it was. I need a challenge dad!” Yev said trying to get his way out of the deal   “And who’s fault is that!” Mickey said   Yev looked at him dead in his eyes “My Teachers!” Yev said with no shame “I like a challenge and she doesn’t challenge enough.” Yev then crossed his arms across his chest now and try to act like he was mad, but he wasn’t. In fact he looked up at his dad and smiled at him   Mickey shook his head and continued cooking “Well little man, next time; tell her and next time still do the fucking test….Even if it’s easy.” Mickey added   “Ehh okay.” Yev said and went on to help his dad with dinner. Mickey looked at over his son and smiled at him like he was the world and more.   **********   Two weeks had passed since the whole argument and fight Mickey and Ian had. It had also been two week since Mickey had went out at night for his night job. Mickey had to admit it, that it felt nice to go straight home after the diner, and to clean, cook, and help Yev study. And Mickey loved it so much more than he ever thought. Yev also loved to have his dad around more as well; everything was going well, except for the fact that Ian wasn’t talking to Mickey. In fact Mickey hasn’t really seen much of Ian since that night except for yesterday, and it was really weird. Ian being at the diner not talking to Mickey and just disappearing to the back, and not saying much to Mickey worried Mick. At first when everything happened Mickey let Ian cool off for a few days, Mickey tried to call him and even text Ian, but he got no response. So he left it alone. Mickey Milkovich wasn’t about to go after someone and beg them for forgiveness or some shit, or even try to explain himself to someone who clearly didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.   Mickey did worry about Ian blabbering his fucking mouth to Fiona or anyone else, but he didn’t so far, which he thanked go for.  If Ian did or would have said something; Fiona would have said something to him and then the whole DCFS would have been involved and here as he would assumed.  So, so far everything was okay, and Mickey was now on his way home from the comic book story with Yev’s things that he promised he would get him. As promised Mickey got him the new games along with Comic books and this new cool statue Yev saw last month of Batman and the Joker. The kid loved all of that stuff and Mickey loved that he loved it. Yev’s room was full of posters and statues and a bunch of other stuff he loved. Mickey was happy his son had had a hobbies for this kind of shit and that he was able to afford it for him.    Mickey got him he started on dinner and he hid the stuff he got for Yev. He wanted to give it to him later on tonight and stay up with him as he watched Yev play the battle front game he got him. Yev would be home soon, Fiona said she was dropping him off but couldn’t stay because her brother Lip was coming over for dinner so it was gonna be a big dinner. She invited Mickey and Yev. In fact she insisted on it and said that Ian was coming. It was a family dinner and Mickey was her family so she wanted him to come, but he declined. He knew Ian was gonna be there and he didn’t want to things uncomfortable or even cause a scene if that were to happen. Mickey still wanted to talk to Ian but, Ian wasn’t answer his calls or anything so, he wasn’t about to go to Fi’s house and have shit go down like that.   When dinner was almost done Yev and Fiona walked through the door.   “Hey!” Fiona said to Mickey as she walked into the kitchen   Mickey turned and looked at her “Oh Hey!” Mickey said he gave Yev a kiss on the forehead and then gave Fiona a tap kiss like he always did. Fiona had her own set of keys so he never mind her just walking in “Hey, you staying for a bit or do you have go and head out?” Mickey asked    Fiona gave him a sad face “I have to head out.” Fiona said and then faced at Mickey “Leaving Jimmy to watch the food is murder to every ones stomach” Fiona said and laughed   Mickey laughed as well, because she was right, leaving Jimmy with food cooking was a bad idea. Especially that one time he did cook and they all got food poison. “Okay then...Oh hey? Am I still working that double shift tomorrow?” Mickey asked   Fiona gave him a duh look “Hells Yeah you Are!” Fiona said. Fiona has asked Mickey what happened to him working at night at the club. The conversation was shirt and simple. Mickey told her he wanted to cut down for a while at nights, and that he needed a break for a bit. She didn’t argue with it, especially with what happened the last time she saw him “Why you don’t want to?” Fiona asked him then   Mickey then looked at her like she was crazy “What!? Fuck yeah I do!....You firing what’s its face is like a god given fucking gift or some shit.”   Fiona laughed “Yeah well I was happy to do it anyways. Plus they guy sucked from the start. I don’t know why I hired him?” Fiona said   Mickey laughed “Hey do you think you can pick up Yev up from school then for me?” Mickey said and walked up to her and hugged her “Pleeeeeease!” He said and gave her a pouted face.   Fiona looked at Mickey fondly and shook her head at him. “Now why are you asking stupid fucking question for!” She said laughing and he gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Hey but if I can’t and my appointment runs late, do you mind if Ian gets Yev. He has to pick up Liam anyway?” Fiona said   Mickey slightly tensed up a bit, he hasn’t spoken to Ian since that day, and for him to speak to him when he brings Yev home….well, that would be hard, but something he wanted to do in away. But then again he didn’t have to if he didn’t want to. He just wanted to make sure that Ian wasn’t going to say anything to anyone or call like child services on him. Fiona notice Mickey tense up and waited for Mickey to respond “Oh…Yeah, no yeah sure. That I don’t mind.” Mickey said   Fiona instantly got annoyed at his responds. She knew when Mickey was hiding something, so she decided to ask him what was wrong; “Hey!” She said and Mickey looked at her “What the fuck is up with you and my brother?” She asked” Fuck said in a rush then she put her hands to her hips and looked at Mickey again giving him that stern look “So I’m gonna ask you again! What the fuck is up?”   Mickey looked at her and rose his eye brows up at him “What the fuck do you mean?” He asked   Fiona huffed “I mean just 2 weeks ago you and my brother were all dreamy eyeing each other and shit. Flirting and like eye fucking like school girls… And now all of a sudden” She said waving her hands in the air “I mean I mention him, and you tense up and not to fucking mention at the diner when he came to visit the other day. He avoided you at all cost and just went straight to the back room to my office! Then when you left he started asking me 20 fucking questions about you and Yev. I was fucking annoyed”     Mickey didn’t say anything at first. All he did was shake his head in anger, but tried hard not to show it “You know!...Nothing….just fucking nothing Fi. Nothing is wrong with me and Ian okay?” Mickey said not wanting to tell Fiona what happened two weeks ago, because then mickey would have to tell her everything, and he means EVERYTHING. And Mickey couldn’t lose Fiona. He couldn’t lose her; he couldn’t lose someone he loved again. The thought of Fiona leaving him, or being upset at him and maybe even removing herself from his and Yev’s life would hurt too much. Yev would be devastated and so would he. Mandy left him years ago, and for him to think and feel Fiona would do that…..well he didn’t want to risk it or think it.   Fiona didn’t by anything of what he was saying “Really? Because I know for a fact you guys were talking and you fucked because Ian told me!” Fiona said and Mickey looked at her and gave her a face. However Fiona ignored it “So tell me? What happened?” Fiona said and the her face changed from being serious to being a curious look “Was the sex bad?” she asked and Mickey almost chocked on the water he was drinking   “What the fuck?” He said to her   Fiona gave him a ‘well?’ “Well I mean, if the sex was bad okay, but come on. Tell me something? Did he say something to you or about you or like…I don’t know did he mention Lana?” Fiona asked   Mickey sighed and looked at Fiona. He knew she wasn’t going to lighten up on the question. So he told her somewhat of the truth “Me and him…Fi we don’t get along, along. My life is different from his, he judges to fast and…”He let trail off not wanting to get more into it.   However Fiona had a different Idea. “He what? He judges to fast? What the fuck does that mean? What did he say or do to you?” Fiona hissed out. If there was one thing she would get mad at, it was someone fucking around or hurting the ones she loved. And Mickey was family to her   Mickey looked away not wanting to say anything or even get Fiona involved. Because if she got involved then she would know that at night he wasn’t a bouncer at a club. She would find out that he was an escort. “Just promise you won’t say anything to him or mention it to him or anything okay? This is my and his business Fiona. Not yours, his and mines!” Mickey tried to say sternly at her   Fiona looked at him for a few seconds, crossing her hands over her chest and nodded her head yes “I promise I won’t say shit! Now tell me now!” She demanded   For kicks Mickey made her wait as he got the food out of the oven. Tonight was baked Chicken with pasta and vegtables.  “He said he thought I wasn’t the best parent or some shit okay. And before you go ahead and start going off the walls!” Mickey voice went up and then back down “I punched him the fucking face for saying that shit. And before you ask why he said that. It was because my night job at night. Leaving Yev here alone was a problem and he’s right.” Mickey said looking at Fiona. She was red in the face but she didn’t say anything “I shouldn’t be leaving Yev here at night, so that’s my fault okay. He still shouldn’t have fucking said what he said, so fuck your brother. But for now I just think me and him should just have some space, and then when were both ready. We can talk.” Mickey said finishing up   If you have ever seen Fiona’s face upset, well her mad and angry face compares to nothing at this moment. She wanted to blow up; Mickey was best parent yet and for Ian to say some shit like that! NO FUCKING WAY she thought in her head “Give. Me.” She said lowly and slowly “One. (she stuck one finger out) One good fucking reason, why I (She pointed to herself when she said that) shouldn’t go over to his apartment right now and kick his ass.” She hissed out   Mickey looked at her “Because I asked you not to flip out and you promised. Besides Ian’s not a parent Fi. You raised him, I raised Yev. He doesn’t get it.” Mickey said and sighed “He doesn’t get that the shit a parent does for their kid has a meaning behind it. He doesn’t get that we have to sacrifice certain things so that are kids get what they need. Or that we have to sometimes do things that we don’t want to do in order for them to be okay and make sure they’re fine…(Mickey is now looking off and speaking as if he’s talking to himself and not Fiona) He doesn’t get that being a parent you have to selfless, and sometimes selfish. Even if that mean making decisions for your kids that they don’t like or want, but you make them because there’s always a reason and a meaning behind it. He doesn’t get that it’s not always easy being a single dad, and or even a single mom…(Mickey was now looking down at his hands and talking still). Dealing with the schools, or doctor’s appointments, or deciding which bill can be paid first, or seeing if there’s enough money for food. (Mickey says and shakes his head while talking) He doesn’t get that we have to make those hard choices in deciding what is right, and praying to god that it is right, and that we didn’t fuck up, because we don’t have a book, or a fucking manual for this shit…(Mickey voice was now chocking and full of emotions) He doesn’t get that is hard doing what we have to do…that we don’t get pleasure in making hard choices or doing things we don’t want to do…he doesn’t get how hard it can be when you’re all alone. He doesn’t get how hard it is to be me and still smile.” Mickey said holding back tears, pressing the palm of his hand to do so.   Fiona came from behind Mickey and hugged him tight. Mickey relaxed into her hug and leaned back. Fiona for some reason read Mickey’s mind “You are the best fucking parent I know….way better than mines, way better than yours…shit Mick you’re even better than me.” She said leaning over looking at him and kissed his cheek “I love you yah kid, don’t let no one tell you, you’re not a good parent okay?” Fiona said to Mickey   Mickey looked at her and gave her a small smile and nodded his head. He leaned his head against Fiona and closed his eye “Thanks” He whispered to her and she didn’t need to ask him why for, because Fiona knew. She knew just being there for him and listening to Mickey when he did open up, meant something to him more than anything.   “You have to go.” Mickey said softly to her   Fiona sighed and let go of Mickey and he turned around and looked at her while leaning his back up against the kitchen counter. “Yeah…Yeah I gotta go, but call me later on tonight okay?” Fiona said and she grabbed his face and kissed him again and he responded “I love yah.” She said   Mickey nodded his head “I know.” Was all he said and smiled at her   Fiona left the apartment and Mickey went back to cooking. Yev was in his room doing his homework when Mickey walked in his room. “Hey Yev?” Mickey said to him and Yev looked up from his books “You ready to eat?”   Yev nodded his head fast “Yes! I’m starving dad! Did titi Fiona leave already?” Yev asked   “Yup! She needed to get back before your uncle Jimmy fucked up the food.” Mickey said laughing   Yev laughed and sat down at the table as Mickey served him his dinner. Both men were in the middle of eating when there as a rough knock on the door. Mickey looked up at Yev and Yev did the same. Mickey wasn’t expecting anyone “Stay here.” Mickey said and got up and went to his front door.   When Mickey got to the door there was another knock, but it was harder “Calm the fuck down I’m coming already!” Mickey yelled out. Mickey opened the door roughly “What the fuck?” He said and then his mouth went dry at who was there.   Standing in front Mickey was an African American lady dressed in a suit. She looked attractive and had a nice physically body shape to her. She was petit Mickey can tell, even though she wore high heel shoes. Her hair was nicely styled in dread lock and she looked like she maintained herself well for a young woman. She looked tired and had a bag over her right shoulder with a clip board in her hand. She also had 2 officers with her “Can I help you?” Mickey asked   The woman nodded her head and gave Mickey an expressionless face “Yes. My name is Veronica Bane, I with child protection services; I’m here because there was a complaint against you Mr. Milkovich.  And according to the state I have a legal obligation to look into this accusation and investigate the charges that are being said against you.  I have here with me two officers for my protection but also for your son” She trails off and looks at the folder “Yevgeny Milkovich? Is that how you say his name correctly?” She asked Mickey   Mickey was stuck in his place and he was shocked. He was completely stunned about what was taking place right here, right now. Mickey was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Yev call him from the kitchen. ‘Dad? Dad who is it?’ he heard Yev say. Mickey turned around to where his son was at but stood near the door. He didn’t want to let whatever her name is Veronica in with the officers “yeah that how you say his name! (Mickey said quickly then turned and shouted back) “It’s no one Yev, I’ll be right there!” He said and turned back to the DCFS lady and the cops at the door.   “Can we come in, Mr. Milkovich? I have to inspect the house and speak to Yevgeny.” She stated   Mickey shook his head “No!” He said and was breathing hard “You’re not taking my son away from me!”   Veronica sighed and looked at the officer’s next to her then Mickey “Mr. Milkovich please…I’m asking nicely and it’s late in the evening. If you don’t let us then, than they will be forced to come in and that won’t look pretty for you and I know Yevgeny would be upset.” Veronica said   Mickey looked at her and gave her face and then looked at the officers with her and grilled them. “No…I’m a good father I take care of my son, and he’s well feed, and healthy and goes to school and is fine! I don’t know who fucking said that shit about me, but I’m a good dad! Who the fuck said I wasn’t?” Mickey asked in a rage   The officers tensed up at Mickey’s demeanor but didn’t move; however they were more alert now than they were a few seconds ago “Mr. Milkovich, I can’t reveal who told us, but I can tell you what you are being accused of.” She says and looks down at her paper then back at Mickey “You are being accused of, is child endangerment where the health and welfare of your child is endangered, and child neglect.  The person who made the call expressed that you have a tendency to leave Yevgeny alone and unattended and unsupervised at night; which you are then going out and working?” She said looking at Mickey and she saw something there. “Please Mr. Milkovich, I’m only going to ask one more time, then I have to take matters in a different direction.” She said sternly   Mickey wanted to call her bluff, but she has to two big officers with her. He let them in and she walked in the small one bed room apartment. Mickey went to Yev in the kitchen and whispered something to him. He looked up and saw the lady and two officer gentlemen with her. He looked back at his dad with widen eyes “What’s” was all Yev said   “This lady wants to talk to you, ask you a few question.” Mickey said sadly looking at Yev. He was worried and scared and pissed off all at once and Yev can tell by looking at his dad.   Veronica simply walked around in the kitchen and opened up the cabinet and refrigerator and made notes that they were somewhat stocked but not full. She made note that they were eating a full meal from what she can tell. She then looked at Yevgeny and smiled “Hi. My name is Mrs. Veronica Bane, and you must be Yevgeny.” She said him   Yev gave her a look and rolled his eyes at her “What does it look, do you see anyone else here named Yevgeny? And its Yev by the way.” He said crossing his arms across his chest and giving her attitude.  He sucked his teeth and spoke again “So you must be the people interrupting my dinner time with my dad.” Yev said and raised his eye brows up at her.   “Yev?” Mickey said looking at his son and Yev looked at him back.   “What? Why is she doing here and why is she with a Peter and Quagmire?” Yev asked   “Peter and Quagmire?” Mickey and Veronica said at the same time   Yev didn’t paid no mind to Veronica and answered his dad “Yeah you know, like from the Family guys? They look like Peter Griffin and Glenn Quagmire .” Yev said and chuckled to himself   Mickey shook his head. Only Yev would think of some shit like that. His thoughts were brought instantly when Veronica spoke “Well Yev. I’m here to make sure that you dad is taking care of you properly and to ask you a few question as well.” She expressed to him, she then looked back up at Mickey “can you show me the rest of the apartment.” She asked him   Mickey nodded his head and made a move to go outside the kitchen. They stepped in the small hallway and he showed her Yev’s room, which was a little messy but not so much. He showed her the bathroom, along with the sala. “So where do you sleep at?” She ask   “Here.” Mickey pointed to the sofa “It’s a sofa bed; I pull it out every night and sleep on it. Yev has the room, and I sleep out here.” Mickey said and she wrote something down on her note pad.   “Okay…so Yev I have to ask you a few questions? Do you mind if we go in your room and talk for a while?” She said to him   Yev looked at his dad for answers. Mickey didn’t know what to do, growing up he was told to shut the fuck up and not say anything. IF he did, there would be consequence. But he didn’t raise Yev like that, he raised him right “I want my dad with me.” Yev said sternly   Veronica looked at Yev and then at Mickey “I’m sorry Yev no. How this goes is I ask you question you answer them truthful to me. Some questions are confidential and will only be kept between me and you. I’m your advocate, what you say to me, stays with me and only me, unless I have to bring them up in a trial during court.” She said to him   That’s what got Mickey scared “Court! What the fuck do you mean court? You’re not taking my son away from me, I told you I’m not a bad parent!” Mickey shouted now “He’s fine here with me! You all need to leave now!” Mickey said and was becoming more upset and in a panic   “Sir you need to calm down” The one officer said   “Fuck you and your calm down okay! It’s not your kid, and you aint being accused of some bullshit.” Mickey said to the officer and looked back at Veronica again. “You aint taking my son!” Mickey said in a low venom voice   Veronica seemed to be used to this kind of outburst from parents or Justin general, so she ignored his unsaid threat “Look Mr. Milkovich, like I said the accusation against you are bad. It’s just my job to make sure Yevgeny is safe and well. It’s my job to protect him and his rights.”     “Fuck you! It’s my job to protect him! I’m his father!” Mickey said snapped back at her     “Yeah, well it’s my job not make sure you’re doing your part!” She snapped back at him. She took a deep breath and looked at Yev and Mickey “look, according to the state I have to take him.” She said     And with those words Mickey fell apart and went to grab Yev, but then an officer came up from behind him and retrained him “GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!” Mickey yelled out and saw how upset he was making Yev and tried to calm himself down as the officer was holding him back     Yev was upset and stared to tear up looking at what was happening. “I’m not going with you!” Yev said out loud   Veronica looked at Yev “I’m sorry kid, but you have to. The things that are being said against your dad are bad. Can you answer me this? Does he leave you alone a lot, or does he hurt you in anyway?” She asked     Yev was taken back by the last question. His father has never hurt him “What?” He said “My dad has never hurt me okay?” Yev said to her     Doing this for a long time, Veronica picked up on how he didn’t answer the first question. She did see a mark on his arm, which alarmed her “How did you get that then?” She asked pointing to Yev’s arm     Yev looked at it “My after school program. I was playing around wrestling with my best friend Liam. We also play rough and goof around.” Yev said to her “And my dad doesn’t leave me alone okay. So you guys need to leave and leave us alone.” Yev said and he was in distress.     Veronica nodded her head and looked over at Mickey who was looking at her and Yev back and forth.  Her decision was made; she had to look more into this to be sure. However what she was about to do, she hoped wouldn’t make her so much the bad guy. But then again when she did do this, she was always the bad guy “Look Mr. Milkovich I have to take Yevgeny with me and do more investigation on this. And before you get upset I want to help you out. But the these accusation are bad, and since this case was just given to me at 5:30pm I have to do what I feel is right by Yevgeny”     “No! No you can’t take my son and put him in a fucking home or some shit! I’m what’s right for him! His dad! Me!” Mickey said passionately to her “You can believe that I would really hurt him and endanger him! I’ve been taking care of him since he was newborn!” Mickey said with tears in his eyes. The officer was still holding him back as he was trying hard to go to his son, which they were preventing.   It was Veronica who looked at him again expressionless, but there was a hint of sad in her eyes “Again Mr. Milkovich, I have to do what is right here. What I feel is right. And right now until I look more into this, I need to take Yev and place him in a home. And it will be a home that is kind and caring trust me on this.”     “How the fuck do you expect me to trust you when you’re taking my son away from me for no fucking reason!” Mickey yelled at her     “I’m sorry.” She said. Veronica turned and looked at Yev “Yevgeny, I’m going to need you to go get some of your things and pack them away in a back pack.” She said to him     “NO! No you can’t take me away from my dad!” Yev said and ran to his room and slammed the door. The officer and Veronica went in his room and Mickey could here Yev throwing things and telling them to go fuck themselves. Mickey’s mind was full of everything that was going on, and he didn’t know what to do. His son…his world was being taken away from him for no reason and he didn’t do anything wrong. He was a good parent and good father. He tried hard to remove himself from the officer. The officer had already placed handcuff behind his back and Mickey was trying to push him away.     A few moments later Veronica, the other officer and Yev came out of the room. Yev was in tears and looking at his dad. Veronica guided him towards the door and Mickey saw all of this. It was like a white cloud over his head that was blinding him…this couldn’t be real “No! No don’t take my son Please! Please don’t take my son away from me! I didn’t do anything wrong! Whoever said those things are lying! Please you have to believe me! I’m good father!” Mickey yelled out desperately and was fighting against his retrains   The officer had no choice but to hold Mickey against the wall and hold him in place. “Calm down…just try and calm down! You’re only making it worse. If you’re innocent you’ll get your kid back soon and all this will be over.” The officer tried to reason with him, but Mickey didn’t want to hear it   “No fuck you okay! He’s my son!” Mickey said and looked at Yev “Yev! Yev look at me okay its gonna be okay I promise you I’m gonna get you back okay! Don’t worry about it, I promise you okay. I love you!” Mickey said to Yev   Yev had tears on his face and his eyes were red “I love you to daddy” He said and Veronica took him out of the house with the officer right behind her. While in the hallway Yevgeny stopped and looked at Ian’s door and then back at Veronica and said nothing. He knew…he knew it was him who called these people on his dad. Yevgeny would never forgive him for this.   ***** The other officer removed the handcuffs off of Mickey and Mickey slide to the floor putting his hands on his face and crying. The officer didn’t stay, he walked out the door and looked back at the man he had to retrain and he even felt bad. But the law was the law. Mickey heard the door close and he fell more apart. Yev only called him daddy when he was vulnerable and Mickey put them in this predicament.  Mickey was pissed now more than ever; the only person that threaten to call DCFS on his was Ian….Ian fucking Gallagher did this to him and Yev. He is just as much to blame as Mickey was.   Mickey gets up from the floor and swings his door open and goes straight to Ian’s door and started bounding on the door. Yelling Ian’s name “IAN! IAN OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NOW!” he screamed out. He was beyond pissed he was livid. He was banging more on the door with tears in his eye. He banged so much that his wrist hurt and his knuckles were bloody. He backed away from the door and remembers that Ian was going to be a Fiona’s. So Mickey did the first thing that came to mind. He was going to find Ian Gallagher and make him fucking pay for what he did.   ***   Mickey called Fiona before leaving; she didn’t pick up and he figured that she was busy. He left a voice mail and telling her what just happened and how Yev was taken by a Lady named Veronica from DCFS. He hoped she heard her voice mail before he goes to her house, because once he sees Ian, he’s fucking murdering him on the spot…   Mickey gets in his car and drives straight to Fiona’s house. He doesn’t care that he’s probably just violated god knows how many traffic law violations. When he pulls up in front of Fiona’s house, he tries to call her again from inside his car. He gets nothing and shoots her a text message. He then gets out of his car and steps in front of her house. He calls her again and once she didn’t answer the call after the 2nd ring he hangs up and opens Fiona’s door with his spare keys he has to the house.     Mickey is filled with emotions right now, and he sees Fiona when he enters the house. His face must have said something to her, because as soon as Fiona saw Mickey she was smiling.   But then Fiona’s smile fades, as she sees Mickey face. She sees how his eyes are blood shot red and his face is covered in dried tears. “Mickey what’s wrong!?” She says instantly going to him   Mickey can’t talk right now because now he spots Ian and is seeing red. He brushes off Fiona and heads straight to Ian who doesn’t see him coming. Ian has his back turned talking to Jimmy; jimmy sees Mickey coming towards them and knew that; that face Mickey has was one he saw many times. It was hate, and angry. Ian notices Jimmy’s face change and goes to turn around and see what he’s looking at.   Once Ian turns around he’s met with Mickey’s fist head on. Mickey doesn’t even think; he just goes straight to up to Ian and once Ian turns his face; Mickey swings instantly. Putting all his force into that first initial hit; Ian stumbles backwards, but Mickey doesn’t let up. He just goes after Ian again and again and again, hitting him, punching him. All the while yelling at him for getting Yev taken away from him.   Ian of course was hitting mickey back and both men were fighting. Jimmy and Lip try to separate them. They managed to separate both men now. They’re beat up pretty bad, well mostly Ian looks bad. Mickey got him good in his jaw, he was bleeding from his mouth and noise. He was sure to have a bruise on his face and a nice black eye as well. Mickey looks like he will have a bruise on his cheek and he looks like he has a cut on his lip since its busted. Fiona manages to step in the middle of both of them assessing what the fuck just happened. Jimmy holds Mickey and Lip is holding Ian back from each other.   “What the fuck is-” Fiona started to yell at them, but then was cut off.   “They took Yev because of him!” Mickey yells out cutting her off “They took my son away from me because of your fucking brother!” Mickey says to her and then looks at Ian “They took my son away from me because of you!” Mickey shouted at Ian and then tries to lunge out at him. But Jimmy holds him back “They took my baby Fiona.” Mickey says emotionally, while he continues trying to get Jimmy off of him.   Fiona looks at Mickey and her eyes widen at what he is saying. “What you mean they took Yev!? Mickey where is Yev? Who took him!?” Fiona asked in a rush   Mickey looks at her now and is trying to calm himself down “Child fucking services came to my house Fiona! They fucking came to my house, fucking saying that someone said something about me endangering my child and that I neglect Yev! I’m fucking being investigated for child endangerment and fucking child neglect. All because of your fucking brother lying to them about me! Me who would never fucking hurt my son, EVER!” Mickey shouted   Fiona was trying to process everything she was hearing “Okay…wait a minute. What you mean? Why are you accusing Ian of child services coming to you?” Fiona said angrily   Mickey looked at her and heard the angry in her voice. He should have known that Fiona would be upset but all of this. “Because he fucking threaten to call child services on me!” He said looking at her. Then he looked at Ian “So I know it was you!” Mickey said with so much venom in his voice.   Fiona looked at Ian who didn’t say anything, but all Ian was doing was looking at Mickey and angry in his eyes. “You don’t fucking know that! Child services doesn’t release that information to anyone” Ian spat out at him   “So are you fucking denying it!?” Mickey spat out at Ian   When Ian didn’t say anything, Fiona went ahead and spoke “Ian? Ian did you fucking do this?” She said walking towards her brother “Ian what the fuck did you do? Did you really call child services on Mickey?” She asked him in shocked and hurt.   Ian looks at his older sister and then back at Mickey who Ian is feeling somewhat guilt now when he looks at him. Ian then looks back at Fiona before he answers “Yeah…yeah I called them.” Ian says and Mickey tries to go after Ian again but Fiona is in between Mickey and Ian, and Jimmy is still holding on to Mickey, but with more force now. Ian then speaks again “But Mickey knows why? Don’t you Mickey?” (Ian says lowly and dangerously)   Mickey stops struggling against Jimmy and is eyes widen at Ian. He feels like he can’t breathe now. No…no Ian can’t do this to him? Ian can’t fucking tell Fiona about-. Mickey then shook his head in disbelief as Fiona looks at him. Ian continued to still talk “Go on Mickey! Tell her why? Tell her how you leave Yev home alone at night, and what the fuck you exactly do at night!” Ian said still not taking his eyes away from Mickey   Jimmy loosens his grip off of Mickey and is just as shocked as Mickey looks. “Don’t do this.” Mickey says to Ian “Don’t fucking do this please, Don’t make me do this.” Mickey says not paying attention to Fiona, and just looking at Ian “Not like this.” Mickey says and Mickey looks at Fiona “Not like this Fi.” Mickey continues to say   Ian crosses his arms across his chest and shakes his head at Mickey. Jimmy was the one who spoke “Mick…” Jimmy said and Mickey looked at Jimmy “Just tell her man.” Jimmy says to him   Mickey looks defeated and Fiona looks at Mickey for answers “What is Ian talking about? Mickey what is going on here?”   Mickey was silent for a moment, and didn’t want to say anything. But then he looks at Jimmy who just nods his head and Mickey looks at the floor and then at Fiona. Before he starts talking he looks back at the floor “My job…my night job the one where I’m supposed to be a bouncer.” Mickey says and Fiona looks at him for him to continue. “I don’t do that at night, I’m not a bouncer”   Fiona was shocked “If you’re not a bouncer then what the fuck do you do at? Mick don’t tell me you’re fucking dealing again!” Fiona said to him   Mickey looks at her and shakes his head automatically “No, no, no fucking way! I’m not doing that at all Fi, you have to believe me!” Mickey said. There a silence in the room for a few minutes, and Fiona looked at him and gave him a face. She was about to say something but Mickey continues talking after a few moments “I fucking have clients Fi… (He said weakly) I have clients that I see…and they pay me for services.” Was all he said     Fiona looked at him and then back at Ian then Jimmy and Mickey again “You mean like you you’re yourself?” Fiona said     Mickey looked at her and spoke and his eyes were glassy as he spoke “I’m an escort…sometimes I’m paid for sex, sometimes I’m paid for company. I don’t hook around anymore……I did when I first started, but I stopped it and started doing more of escort service.” Mickey said looking away from her “I’m sorry I lie to you…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I couldn’t Fi….I just couldn’t tell you what I did.” Mickey said now looking at her. What Mickey didn’t want to see was Fiona looking at him the way she was looking at him now; she looked sad, and hurt. She looked like she been betrayed, because Fiona always felt that Mickey told her everything, and he did. But he just didn’t tell her this. Fiona was looking at him in a way that made Mickey want to hide away forever.     Fiona didn’t say anything; she didn’t know what to say to Mickey’s confession.  What can she say? What can she do? She was stuck on what to say to Mickey, and she didn’t want to say the wrong thing….So she just stood quiet.     Mickey didn’t know what to do or say or what to think. Fiona wasn’t saying anything and he just confessed to her that he was an escort. If she hated him and didn’t want to be in his life anymore he understood. Mickey didn’t want to be in his life anymore because he felt like he fucked up. Mickey just had one person in his mind right now; and that was Yev. Where was Yev at right now and how he was doing? Was Yev okay? Did they hurt him? Would he be fine at night by himself? Was he being cared for in this home they placed him? Mickey was thinking all of these things and didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know he had a few tears in his eye coming down his face. “Fi….Fi I know I shouldn’t be asking you for anything right now…But please can you get Yev? I don’t want him in the system….not like how I was….please he’s a good kid Fiona. You know that!” Mickey says with tears in his eyes “Just please do me this favor; if not for me, for Yevgeny Fiona.” Mickey says in a whisper to her.     Fiona says nothing but nods her head yes. Mickey looks relieved and then turns to Jimmy “Get him please…and call me and let me know he’s okay, okay?”  Mickey says to Jimmy   “Yeah Mick, don’t worry about it okay. Me and Fiona we’ll get him, we just renewed our registered license to foster any kids, so Ima see if we can get Yev as soon as possible…we both will.” Jimmy tells him Mickey gesturing to him and Fiona   Mickey nods his head and then leaves Jimmy and Fiona’s house fast.  Faster than anyone can imagine; Mickey runs down to his car and opens the door and gets in the driver’s seat. He grips the steering wheel tight, and begins to cry. He leans his forehead against the steering wheel that he’s still gripping and cries harder. In just one fucking night, not only did he lose his son, he felt like he lost his family. Fiona, maybe not Jimmy, but Jimmy’s married to her, so than that would mean he lost him to.  Mickey never felt more worthless, alone, and hurt. He goes through the events that just happened and remembers Fiona’s face expression as he told her that he was an escort. He remembers her not saying anything to him, just staring at him. Not a word, not a damn fucking word; she looked like she was disappointed, and hurt, and was sad all at once. And it was Mickey, Mickey who did that.   ********   Fiona was still shocked at everything, but she pulled her emotions on the back burner and looked at Jimmy.  “This is what we’re gonna do; I’m going to need you to call your Quin and ask him about Yevgeny or at least ask him if he’s been placed in a home. From the way Mickey said, it sounds like they just took him. So I doubt that right now he’s been place.” Fiona said franticly texting someone on her phone.  She was on full action mood right now, and she didn’t want to thinking about what just happened.   Jimmy nodded his head and spoke while scanning for his phone for Quin’s number “If they just got him, most likely the social worker is taking to him the nearest hospital to get exam first then placing him somewhere. I’m gonna call my hospital first to see if they drop Yev there for an examination to call me so I can do the examination.” Jimmy says dialing the phone and then looks at Fiona “You know Yev won’t let no one touch him unless it’s me or Doctor Cortes.” Jimmy smiled at that, Yev was a very persistent child and refused to have anyone examine him unless it was people he knew.   Fiona nodded her head at him and was now walking around to the kitchen getting the house phone “Yeah you do” She said sternly not meaning to, but she knew what it was like to be in the system and that was fear any parent could fear; their child being alone in a home that wasn’t theirs. “While you do that I’m going to call our caseworker and see if she knows anything or can do anything for us.” Fiona said looking down at the Fiona dialing it pressing hard on the buttons. She was pissed, she didn’t want to look at anyone or hear anything. She was mad at Mickey for lying to her, mad at her brother for calling child services on Mickey and not going to her. But most importantly she was mad at the universe right now. Yev didn’t need to go through this; not when he did have good parent…Fiona was in her train of thought when she looked back up at Jimmy as he was talking to someone on the phone “I want my nephew with me tonight!”  She said angrily and then got on.   After a few minutes of Fiona being on the phone she told Debbie and Carl to take Liam up to his room. Liam was upset about what he heard and saw, they all were, but Liam kept asking about Yev and where he was and Fiona had no answer. Her caseworker told her that she would do what she can to look into it, but if it wasn’t her case it would be hard for her to be put on the case. Over the years Jimmy and Fiona established a good relationship with their casework/ social worker. After Fiona got custody of her siblings and even with her set back, their caseworker/social worker help her. She always said she saw something in Fiona, just like her parole officer did years ago.   Jimmy was trying to contact Quin, but no such luck; he was someone Jimmy was what Fiona called an associate of Jimmy’s. Jimmy was Quin’s doctor and did a few favors for him; it also help that he was the higher up supervisor kind of person within social services.  Fiona went up to Jimmy to see what he got “Quin’s on vacation with his family Fi, his assistant just told me. But he did say he should be back tomorrow afternoon babe. Any luck with our social worker?” Jimmy asked   Fiona was still in nervous, upset, and shock mood. She shook her head no at Jimmy and her eyes were looking everywhere trying to figure something out. Anything out if possible “No….she said she will look into and let me know who has his case.” She said in a rush then turned and looked at her brothers.  Ian face dropped and looked like it got paler as she looked at him with murderous eyes. Even Lip walk back away from Ian, because the way Fiona was looking at him, gave him a cold shiver down his back.     There were a few moments of silence as Fiona just looked at her brother, figuring out what the fuck was wrong for him to do this. Of all people they know what it’s like to have shitty parents and be in the system, Mickey wasn’t a shitty parent. Not to her not to anyone. So right now she needed answer before she killed someone. Fiona broke the silence between them “What the fuck were you thinking?” He said in a low dangerous voice at Ian.   Ian was silent for a moment then spoke “He leaves his kid at home, while he goes fuck other guys for a living Fiona! What the fuck did you expect me to do? Not to mention some of his clients or whatever the fuck are not the best safe people. So I did what I thought was right!” Ian said   Fiona looked at him like he was crazy “Right!....Right! Ian that little boy was in no danger! We were being left home younger than Yevgeny!” Fiona said now she was screaming “Not to fucking mention, we know what it’s like to be in the system and have shitty fucking parents IAN! We know what it’s like to be in homes and be fucking scared and not know what the fuck to do or if we’ll be safe!” Fiona took a step back because she knew her angry was getting the best of her. “How did you find out?” She said looking at her brother   “What?” Ian said to her   “How the fuck did you find out that Mickey goes out and fucks other guys for a living?” She said raising her eye brow at him “Did he tell you, or some shit and then you thought it was best to what? Fucking tell child services or some shit?” She said and she didn’t let answer because she continued talking and becoming angrier. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding him and asking me questions about him to get information on him to tell child service!?” She said to him, looking at him more murderous     “What No! That’s not why?” Ian said and then “I wasn’t asking you things about him because of that. And I found out because I was doing a stack out, and it so happened that one of his clients was the house of the guy I was doing the stack out at. That’s how I found out, he didn’t tell me anything!” Ian’s voice raised up as he spoke and Fiona looked at him like she was smack the taste out of his mouth   “Which client?” Jimmy now spoke and everyone looked at him, but he ignored it “Which client was it?” Jimmy asked again   Ian, Fiona, and even Lip looked at Jimmy weird now “Why do you want to know?” Ian asked   Jimmy sighed a little and walked over to Fiona “I’ve known about Mickey and his job at night.” Jimmy said and Fiona is taken back by this information “there’s been a few times he’s come in, in the past with injuries from clients. Those clients he would get rid of automatically, and every month I do a full physical examination for him. Blood test, Urine test, anything and everything like testing for STD’s and shit. All that shit for him, so that he knows he hasn’t gotten anything, even though he uses protection and is always safe.” Jimmy said and then looked back at Ian “So who was the client?” Jimmy asked again   Ian was also taken back at the information. So Jimmy knew Mickey was an escort “Why should I tell you? You’ve fucking known he’s been an escort? For how long?” Ian asked   That was when Fiona cut it “You don’t get to fucking do that! You fucking brought this whole shit out with being noisy and putting fucking nose in something that was much bigger than anything.” She said to Ian “And you” She said turning to Jimmy “How long have you known he was an escorts?” Fiona said and Jimmy looked at her nervously, not sure if he wanted to tell her how long he knew “I’m the one asking your Jimmy not Ian; he’s not your wife I am.” She said pointing at herself “So you better fucking tell me. How. Long.” She said and asked him   Jimmy looked at her and then back at Ian and Lip, then back at Fiona. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed again. After a few moments of Jimmy spoke “It was a couple of years ago….he came in when I was on shift at the hospital….he called me and I told him I was working.” Jimmy said and started to tell Fiona everything of how that one night he found out about Mickey. And as he spoke, he remembered it like it was yesterday.   6_years_ago   Jimmy got a page from one of the nurses saying that a patient of his came in pretty beat up and didn’t want to anyone to see him, but Jimmy. Jimmy was already having a crappy day, two people died on his watch, another was in critically continued and he just finish giving an examination and report to cops of a domestic violence case. His day was shitty to say the least, but it was good as well. Not everyone that came in and he saw doing his rounds was bad. So he went to the room the nurse said the patient was in and grabbed the chart and looked at it. There was no name, because apparently the patient didn’t want anyone to know who he was…’Great, probably a junky” Jimmy though. So as he walked into the room still not looking up from the chart he asked “Okay, so how can I help you?” Jimmy said and then looked up at his patient. Who he saw shocked him and alarmed him “Mick? Jesus Mickey what the fuck happened to you?” Jimmy said coming around and taking a good look at Mickey. Mickey had a busted lip, a cut on his left eye, a nasty bruise on his face, and his left eye was blood shot red. Jimmy saw marks on his throat and knew he must have been strangled. There were cuts on his knuckles from what he can tell   Mick was on his side, it looked like he couldn’t lay on his back, so he tried to sit up slowly and grunted when he sat right up. “Just got into a fight…um…I don’t remember what happen…I woke up on the floor in pain.” Mickey said not looking at Jimmy.   Jimmy looked at Mickey and started to examine him. Mickey stood up as Jimmy helped him remove his clothes and started to examine Mickey better. There were black and blue bruise starting to form on his back and around his stomach. Jimmy checked to see if he had any broken ribs, which he didn’t.  Thank god for that. Jimmy motions for Mickey to sit down, but Mickey refused.   “Mickey Ima need you to sit down, so I can finish the examination, I have to take some blood and stuff man, plus your pretty beat up. I need you to sit and relax before you pass out on me or something man.” Jimmy said softly   “No…no I can stand.” Mickey said his breathing was slightly labored and that worried Jimmy   “Mick come on man, just sit it’s not gonna hurt you okay. Plus I need remove your pants and finish the examination.” Jimmy said still not thinking anything of it.  Mickey looked away, his emotions were everywhere and Jimmy looked at him and saw something wrong. “Mick what’s wrong man? Look it’s me and you in here. You came here looking for me specifically so let me fucking help you! Tel me what happened at least so I can put in a report to the cops maybe” Jimmy said   Mickey looked at Jimmy and shook his head “No! No, don’t do that okay. They can’t know about this, no one can know about this.” Mickey said franticly, the cut on his lip started to bleed again and he licks his lips trying hard to concentrate on what to do. He bit down hard on his bottom lip, using the pain to numb his feeling and thoughts   Jimmy gave Mickey a weird look now and walked around him face him now. “Sit down Mickey.” Jimmy said   Mickey shook his head and looked away from Jimmy, who was standing in front of him “I can’t” Mickey said in a low voice. He was biting lip again hard, making himself focus on that pain.   Jimmy took a step back and looked at Mickey and tilted his head. “Mickey what happened to you, and I want the truth.” Jimmy said cautiously and soft   Mickey didn’t say anything for a few minutes; he was still not looking at Jimmy. He was tired, both mentally and physically. He was in pain, and tonight was supposed to be an easy night. But his client decided to bring another player in, and Mickey didn’t like that. So when he tried to leave and cancel the guys booking for the night. His client wasn’t too happy.   “If I tell you….you can’t look at me wrong, and you can’t fucking judge.” Mickey said with heat in his voice and was now looking at Jimmy. Jimmy nodded his head “Doctor patient confidently and all that shit right?” Mickey asked and Jimmy nodded his head yes again.  After a few seconds Mickey spoke “I was with a client….things got rough and um fought and I don’t remember much. He got me good when he banged my head up against the wall.” Mickey said he remember the fight. His client, now ex-client was pissed, and swung at Mickey when he said, he wasn’t going to do a threesome with him and his unknown friend. Mickey was into kinky shit, but 1, he didn’t know that another guy, 2 fuck no was that happening without Mickey knowing ahead of time, and 3 no. Just no, Mickey didn’t want that and wasn’t comfortable.   The guy got a good swing at him, but Mickey swung right back at him, and Mickey had him pinned to the floor, when someone came from behind and hit him. It was the other guy. So his client got up and he and Mickey continued to fight. Mickey grabbed a bottle that was on the table and smashed it on his clients head, but his client didn’t fall. Next thing he know his head is being banged up against the wall, and he blacks out.   When Mickey came to he was on the bed in the hotel. He was in pain laying on his stomach. His pants where all the way down at his feet along with his boxers. He tried to roll over but when he got on his back he instantly yelled in pain, so he rolled back on his stomach, which hurt like a bitch. He then shimmed himself down off the bed and was on his knees at the foot of the bed. He knew what happened and he felt like crying, but he didn’t. It took him a while but he managed to put his boxers on and his pants and walk to the bathroom. He cleaned his face the best he could and called Jimmy. Jimmy was at work at the hospital doing rounds, so Mickey thought it was best to go to him.   “I woke up on a bed; and my pants where on…” Mickey said trailing off letting Jimmy put to and to together.   Jimmy’s mouth was open in shocked and then he composted himself “okay….okay Ima order a nurse to do a rape kit on you, and then-” Jimmy started to say but Mickey cut him off   “What? No Jimmy no, then there gonna ask question and get fucking cop involved” Mickey said and was scared. No one could know what he did for a living at night   Jimmy looked at him and didn’t know what to do “Fine.” He said not wanting to argue with his friend. “I’ll do the rape kit on you, and I’ll have down as John Doe or something. Plus the guys at the lab owe me a few favors anyway. But if I do this without alerting the authorities I want to know everything Mick! And I mean everything! From the fucking beginning you got that?” Jimmy demanded and didn’t ask “I’ll help you, but you have to tell me everything.” And Mickey nodded yes in responds to Jimmy. “Does Fiona know about this?” Jimmy asked, and Mickey shook his head no “do you want her to know?”   “No!” Mickey said and then Jimmy walked over to the desk of supplies and motioning to Mickey he was going to start the examination.   Present_day.   When Jimmy was done speaking Fiona had tears in her eyes, and her hand over her mouth. Her best friend was rape and he kept it inside. Her husband knew, and couldn’t tell her because of his oath as a doctor. Everything that night that went crazy just became even more crazy and now everyone was in shock and didn’t know what to do.   Ian and Lip were silent in the room as they heard everything. Lip looks shocked at what Jimmy said and sad at the same time, and Ian. Well Ian didn’t know what to think. He wondered how often did that happen to Mickey, he wondered if Jimmy always helped him, then his mind wondered back to the night at the hospital when he took Mickey in and Jimmy examined him. Ian felt horrible now.   Fiona went for her cell phone and saw she missed calls from Mickey early that night. She tried to call him, but he wasn’t picking up. She texted him, nothing; the last time Mickey went MIA was when Yev was in the hospital really sick and bad and the doctors told Mickey even more bad news. He could take it and did what Mickey did. He found a ways to numb his pain and destroy himself.   Jimmy then looked at Ian and asked again “Who was the client Ian, who did you see him with?” Jim asked   Ian looked conflicted to answer but he did “Amando and Alessandra Corinthos. The department is building a case against their father, so I was doing a stack out and we bugged the house. I saw Mickey and heard him and both siblings talking to him; apparently there both his clients.” Ian said bitterly at the end   Fiona then broke everyone’s thought when she went to Ian and pushes him “You better fucking fix this!” She shouted “You better do whatever the fuck it is in your power to fix this. I want Yev back with the people he knows and not some fucking random place.” She said running her hand through her hair   Ian was taken back by her tone of voice “I’m sure he’ll be fine Fiona, look I’ll see” Ian started to say but was cut off   “No! No I still can’t believe you did this! You called child service on Mickey, and you think Yev is going to be okay!?” Fiona said and took a few steps towards her brother and smacked him. Ian held his face and looked at his sister as she spoke “You have no fucking clue what they have been through! And for you to get upset and take it out on Yev of all people!” She shouted   “I didn’t take out on him!” Ian shouted at her   “Yes you fucking did Ian!” She shouted at him “Whether you see it or not! You fucking had that little boy yanked away from his father home and placed somewhere god knows where! And the only fucking reason why you did it was because you were pissed at his father….his father who does what he needs to do for his child!” Fiona said breathing faster “You have no fucking clue what they’ve been through! Instead of fucking I don’t know talking to Mickey, which I know you haven’t because you’ve been avoiding him since you found out it seems! But you go ahead do this shit! (Fiona shouted and didn’t speak for a few moments then continued) Ian…Mickey is a good father…he told me what you told him about him being a bad dad, about how he wasn’t a good dad… do you know you made him feel like he was a worthless person….you have no idea…none, of what he’s probably had to do for that little boy. Shit I don’t think I even know it all. But what I do know.” She said stepping closer to her brother “what I do know is that he’s a damn good father, one who would do anything for his son. And the fact that he’s an escort and does god knows what, tells me a little something more about why he does what he does….as a parent Ian….we do what we have to do for our child; so he had to do what he needed to do for Yev.” Fiona said lowly and had a sad look on her face   Ian looked at her and swallowed his thoughts before he spoke “Why? Why would he? If you say he’s a good dad, then why?” Ian asked   Fiona looked at Ian, and she knew why, but that wasn’t her story to tell “That’s not my story tell Ian….what I know and what I don’t know. That’s not my story to tell. But what I do know now (She said pointing her hand to the ground when she said that) Is that you (she pointed at Ian) are fucking fix this you understand. Or so help me god, I will kick your ass. You’re gonna make sure I have Yev, with me in this house by tomorrow. I don’t care what you do, or who you have to fuck! But you better get my nephew here, and you better talk to Mickey.” She said poking him on his chest. “You better figure something, because I refuse to choice between the two of you.” was all Fiona said and left to go check up on Liam.   *****   Mickey had parked his car somewhere, he didn’t know where. He just got out the car and stared walking around. He didn’t care where he was walking. His phone was ringing in his pocket but he didn’t pick it up. In fact he ignored it and kept walking around. He didn’t know where he was at now, he went to the nearest liquor store got himself a bottle and began to walk around drinking. He thought about everything that happened. About not having Yev in his life, about how he failed, about what Ian said, how Fiona’s face look when he told her. How Yev was upset and his face when they took him away. Then his thoughts went to Svetlana. He promised her that he would always protect Yev and be there for him no matter what. That he would do whatever it took to make sure he would always be okay and live a wonderful life.   He thought about her smile and how Yev smiled like her. Even at 17 Mickey wasn’t cut out to be a dad, but he tried his best to do everything for Yev. And now…well now look at him. They came in and got took his little boy away from him. Whatever Ian told them, got Yev taken away. Ian probably told him about how he leaves Yev at night to fuck random guys for money, and how he’s a bad influence on his son. Who knows what else Ian told them, probably that Mickey can’t provide for him properly or whatever the fuck. Mickey gets up from the side walk he was sitting on and throws the bottle to the floor and keeps walking   He’s wondering around, not know what to do. He didn’t want to think anymore, and he didn’t want to feel what he was feeling. A failure, a loser, a worthless father, a worthless being and didn’t deserved to be on this earth right now. He felt like he was nothing, and that he had no one, because in a way he didn’t.  He reaches for his phone and opens the screen saver and sees a picture of him and Yev. He smiles at the picture and then started to cry.   He wipes the tears from his eyes and then feels his phone again vibrate. It was Fiona calling him. He ignores is and then decides to call her back. The phone rings and rings and the he hears her voice. “Mickey? Mickey? Mickey answer! Where are you, talk to me!” She says   Mickey sniffs and breathing in and “I love you Fi…do me a favor okay and get Yev and tell him I love him to okay…” Mickey says to her   Fiona becomes silence on the phone and doesn’t say anything. Mickey never tells know one he loves them. Only Yev, there a reason why, and she understood why “Mick” She said weakly and he can tell she’s crying   “No Fiona….I love you. I love you so much, you have no idea and I just wanted to tell you. So that way you always know that okay…now I need you to get Yev and make sure he’s okay and make sure he remembers that I will always love him….so make sure you raise him. You and Jimmy okay? If they don’t give him back to me, I want you to take him.” Mickey said and she could tell he was crying over the phone but trying hard not to let her hear it “I have to go no Fi, I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.” He said and hung up.   He turned his phone off and continued to walk in the dark of the night. He walked for what seemed like a while and didn’t pay much attention to where he was going. However he managed to find his way to a familiar place…..Home. Well it wasn’t home, not with Yev not being there. He opened his door and closed it as if he was on auto pilot. He went into the bathroom closed the door. He opened the cabinet and removed something from it. He looked back up at himself and cursed how fuck up he looked, but didn’t care. He washed his face with cold water and dried it. He then sat down on the floor and looked down and didn’t realize what he was doing till he closed his eyes and remembered how it was to not feel the aching pain in his chest anymore. Chapter End Notes So that happened. Next chapter will also be emotional. Lot of angst to come ahead, but there is always a happy ending that I do promise. So the title of this chapter was based on a song from the Goo Goo Dolls called - Better Days. You guys should check it out. here the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5kWoSIBliE ***** The reality ***** Chapter Notes Okay so this chapter kind of in a way doesn't have much Mickey in it. I wanted to focus on Yev, and Fiona and the other gang like Jimmy and Ian as well and Lip is in it. I hope you guys like it. Next chapter wont be as calm. Again I have no beta and I do love all of your comments and kudos and everything you guys write to me. Please do leave me a comment on this chapter. love you all xoxoxox See the end of the chapter for more notes Yevgeny’s mind was everywhere at this moment. He was in the car with the social service lady…Veronica was her name. He glared at her the whole time she tried to speak to him. Yev didn’t answer anything she was asking him; he was too upset and in shocked at the moment. All he wanted was his dad and to be home with his dad.  He didn’t know where this lady was taking him, but Yev sure as hell wasn’t going to make it easy for her. All he could think about was seeing his dad pinned up against the wall telling him that he was going to get him back and that it was okay. Promising him that it will be okay, but see his dad tears fall from his face, and knowing how he sounded, gave Yev little hope. He knew his dad didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t understand why this was happening to them…of all the things in the world, this may be the 2nd worse thing to happen to him.   Ms. Veronica Bane kept trying to talk to Yev, but all he did was look out the window and ignore her some more. When she asked about his mother Yev looked at her gave her the finger and then looked back outside. One thing Yev didn’t do was talk about his mom to no one, only his dad; so this bitch had no right to ask about his mom. “Okay…so you don’t want to talk….that fine” Veronica sighed.   She made a right turn down the street and kept driving; Yev knew the area and was familiar with his. He grabbed his PSP and started playing it, trying to get Wi-Fi reception on to Facebook his dad or Liam. But no such luck. Yev had his phone, but he didn’t want the social service lady to try and take it, so it was off inside his pocket. When Yev looked up from his PSP he notices where they were at now.   Veronica pulled up to the hospital and turned off the engine. She unbuckled her seatbelt and got her bag and paper work out. “Come on Yevgeny. I need you to get out the car and come with him inside.” She said   “Why?” Yev said to her with an attitude   Veronica looked at Yev and gave him a tired expression “Because its presegure, I need you to get a full examination.” She said   “No” Yevgeny said shaking his head “No…not happening.”   “Yevg-“ She said but was cut off   “No! I don’t see anyone but my doctors. I trust no one but my doctors! And if you try and force me, I will so have your job!” Yev said threating her. He didn’t give a fuck, there was no way he was about to have some nurse and some doctor he didn’t know check him. Nope not happening.   “Yev, ple-” She said but was cut off again by Yev.   “Yevgeny! To you its Yevgeny! Only friends and family call me Yev!” Yev snapped out at Veronica   Veronica sighed again and exhausted “Yevgeny…please. Will you come on; we have to go now, or we’ll be here all night and I have to place you in the home with your temporary foster family.” Veronica said to him     “Well sucks to be you now doesn’t!” Yev said not caring. If he had to be there all night then so be it. Veronica Bane was in for one hell of a ride.   ********   About 20 minutes later and much of much pleading and eventual a bribe from Veronica of letting Yev speak to his dad before she took him to the home he was going to be placed in. Yevgeny and Ms. Bane walked in the hospital. Ms. Bane went to the front desk signed them in and told them what they were there for. The front desk lady seems to do a double take on Yevgeny and looked at Ms. Bane. She nodded at her and told her to please be seated and wait for the nurse and doctor. She then got on the phone and made a call.   ******     “What else are you not telling me Jimmy?” Fiona says to Jimmy. After everything that happened just a while ago, she wants to know everything. Everything…just all of it. “How could he not tell me? Why didn’t he tell me?” Fiona said looking at Jimmy   “Mandy….remember what happened when Mickey went to her looking for help…how she flat out told him what she did and you two almost got into a fight.” Jimmy said looking at his wife sadly “Mickey couldn’t take it if you left him like Mandy left him. I mean she practically told him to fuck himself and her own nephew Fi. Mick was scared you would leave him or he would have to leave you because you would tell him to.”   That got Fiona mad “I. (she pointed to herself) would never. Ever! In a fucking million years kick him to the curb like that bitch did okay.” Fiona’s voice became murderous at this point “I would do anything for those two and you know that. There fucking family Jimmy!” Fiona was raising her voice now “He should have fucking known that!” Fiona said. Her angry and pain was everywhere. The emotions of just….well everything “I’m gonna ask you again Jimmy. Is there anything else I should know?”   Jimmy knew better than to lie to his wife. Fiona was like a hound dog. The fact that he hide Mickey secret for this long and she didn’t know amazed him “Nothing Fi I swear” Jimmy says “You know I couldn’t break my oath, Doctor Patient confidentially. Even if he was just some random person, I still couldn’t have told you Fi…Mickey made me promise him.” Jimmy said weakly   Just as Fiona was about to say something Jimmy’s cell phone rings and he saw it was the hospital. He picked it up ignore Fiona’s stare. He looked at her and his eyes widen. Fiona then went up to him and waited “Yeah okay…I’ll be there. If any other doctor tries to examine him make sure they don’t. He’s my patient. Plus Yev being Yev, he won’t let them……okay….okay I’m on my way now.” Jimmy said in a rush and hung up the phone. He looked up at his wife “that was the hospital the receptionist at the pediatrics department called me. It seems Yev’s social worker took him there!” Jimmy said getting his keys, wallet and jacket “I’m gonna go there and speak to Yev and see how’s he doing, then I’m gonna talk to the social worker see if we can get him tonight or at least tomorrow.” Jimmy said rushing around the house   Just then Fiona looked at Lip and Ian but pointed at Ian “You!” with that Ian looked up at her “You call whoever the fuck you need to right now to get that little boy in this house by tomorrow. And I am so not fucking done with you! I want to know why you did this. Because Ian this isn’t you. You know the system as well I do. And to punish someone and do that.” Fiona said and now shook her head “No….no there’s a reason and I want a good a fucking valid wont for this shit.” Fiona said shoving Ian’s phone to his chest. “Call. Now!” She said and looked at Lip “If this goes to trial for whatever reason, I’m gonna need you to get Yevgeny back to his Mickey or with me at least until we can clear this shit up.”   Lip nodded his head at his sister while he was texting on his phone. “I’m already on Fiona, I know the guy. Don’t worry okay, we’ll get Yev back home, and hopefully whatever charges dropped on Mickey that there accusing him of.” Lip said to his sister. He was on it before she even said anything to him; Fiona was one person he didn’t want to piss off. He remembers Fiona’s war path with him when he was in college and thought he could fuck off.  She had send Mickey after him, it was the first time Lip met Mickey. He had to say that the man didn’t look intimidating, but when Fiona and Mickey showed up at Lip’s dorm and he busted down his door with Fiona next to him. Let’s just say after the talk and beating that Fiona gave him. Not Mickey it was Fiona. (Mickey was there apparently to make sure no one tried anything on Fiona) Lip knew better than to be on Fiona’s shit list. But the one thing his sister never did was turn family away. As much as they all argued and were pissed at each other. Fiona never turned any of them away, or gave up on them. This was a woman who worked 2 jobs to have three men in her life finish school and do something with themselves and still raise his other brother and sister. Yeah Lip didn’t have a problem helping her out or Mickey for that matter.   Jimmy was out the door and Fiona heard their car drive off, she knew her husband had a good heart and was worried about Yev and Mickey as well. She noticed Jimmy looking at his phone, texting. Most likely what she was doing, she was trying to call Mickey and text him as well. She just tried to call him again, but go nothing. Mickey wasn’t answering her phone calls and she was becoming more worried about that.  Just as she was about to say something to Lip and Ian, who were in the sala on their phones her phone rang. She looked down and it was Mickey.   She picked up the phone quickly and nearly shouted his name at him over the phone “Mickey? Mickey? Mickey answer! Where are you, talk to me!” She says to him over the phone. She can hear he’s outside and his breathing is hitched   She hears Mickey sniff and knows he’s crying, she hears how his breathing is becoming fast and he’s breathing in and out and then she hears something she’s never heard before “I love you Fi” those three words just spoken to her, she’s never heard Mickey say to her…Never! She continued to hear him form the other line as she is in shock and feels like he’s saying good bye to her “…do me a favor okay and get Yev and tell him I love him to okay…” She hears him say to her and Fiona can’t help but start to cry and put her hand over her mouth.  This feels like a goodbye and she knows how destructive Mickey can be on himself. It’s happened more than once and that’s got her so scared because she thought after the last time that Mickey was stronger now. He had to be   Lip and Ian go to Fiona as she crying and look at her. They don’t say nothing and Ian feels his stomach twist in a bad way an Lip goes to hug his sister, but she shakes her head and  speaks in the phone “Mick” She said weakly.   She hears him speak again and he sounds out of it “No Fiona….I love you. I love you so much, you have no idea and I just wanted to tell you. So that way you always know that okay…now I need you to get Yev and make sure he’s okay and make sure he remembers that I will always love him….so make sure you raise him. You and Jimmy okay? If they don’t give him back to me, I want you to take him.” Mickey said to her. Fiona is trying hard to compose herself and starts looking for her keys to her car. She has to find Mickey she has to right now. When she goes to get her coat he’s still speaking to her and she stop “I have to go now Fi, I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.” and he hangs up   “Mickey! Mickey!” She shouts at the phone. She tries to call him again but it goes to voice mail “FUCK!” She says and gets her coat on   “Fi what happened” Ian and Lip asked at the sometimes   “That was Mickey!” She said wiping her face trying to compose herself and think straight before she did anything irrational “Fuck….fuck fuck fuck fuck” She said in a whisper “He told me he loved and, and told me to take care of Yev.” She said quickly trying to breathe in and out calmly “Mickey doesn’t say shit like…Mickey doesn’t say shit like that” She says again “We have to find him.” Fiona says and Lip and Ian nod their heads.   “Debbie Carl!” Lip shouted and both of them came down fast. You can tell they were both listening and viewing everything “If anyone calls or comes over call us okay, we have to head out.”   “I mean you sure you want to leave us alone you know? You know Ian might call child services on Fiona to” Carl said snippy looking at his brother and Debbie smacked him in his head   “He didn’t mean it Ian” Debbie said quickly   Ian shook his head “No…he did.” Ian said and walked out the house. He knew he fucked up. He knew badly he fucked up….just right now he didn’t want hear how bad it was. He knew. He just fucking knew   Fiona wanted Ian to drive and Lip took his car and went to the hospital to Jimmy. Fiona told him to tell them that he was Yev’s lawyer or something, but to try whatever it was to get Yev to her tonight or tomorrow at least. Quin wasn’t going to be at work till tomorrow Jimmy said. But trying was all they got. Plus she wanted to speak to Ian, she wanted answer and fast. Fiona always thought that maybe she was the irrational one, the one who did shit without thinking first and suffered the consequences later. But no, not today and not right now.   Fiona told Ian to go by Mickey’s house first that he may be there. She wanted to check there first, she had a pair of his house keys, so she was praying to the universe that he was there. When Ian pulled up at the apartment complex, Fiona flew out the car in a flash. She ran into the building and up the stairs. She took her spare keys out and opened the door and rushed in.   “Mickey!?....Fuck” She whispered out and then continued “Mickey? Mickey are you here” She said rushing around the small apartment.   Ian was right behind her and entered the apartment, he felt wrong entering the apartment….Ian was feeling a lot of things at this moment. He was viewing how his sister was going from Yev’s room to the kitchen, then the bathroom, and sala calling for Mickey. But there was nothing, no Mickey no nothing…he wasn’t here. Fiona went up to her brother not looking at him directing but looking around him to see if there was any clue as to where Mickey would have gone.  “He’s not here….fuck.” She said again looking around once again as if to find something or if anything.   Ian final spoke “Do you know anywhere else he would be or go to?” Ian asked   Fiona looked at her brother now and gave him a look. A look of more she was trying to concentrate and think, while still cursing the world. “Yeah….yeah no…um there’s a few places he might be at.” Fiona said warily but as if she was saying it to herself. Apart of her had this bad feeling growing inside of her gut and it went up to her chest.   Ian wasn’t offended at all by how Fiona was acting with all this; I mean he knew he shouldn’t because when Fiona loved someone and was in her heart. She loved hard. It just hurt Ian to know that he upset his sister, and that she was angry, and disappointed in him. He knew that because he was also angry and disappointed at himself.  All Ian had thought about was hurting Mickey like he hurt, but he didn’t think of his actions and what they would do to everyone around him. But Ian could help think about that one case he got back in New York…that little girl. The way she looked and how she….   Ian was brought out of his thoughts when Fiona grabbed him by his arm and he looked up at her. She looked concerned for him as she touched. “What’s wrong pumpkin?” She said to him. Fiona only said that to him when she was happy or really concerned, and since she wasn’t happy with him her face gave it away   Ian straightens up and looked at her “Nothing” He quickly said “He’s not here; we should look other places…” There was a silence and Fiona just stared at Ian and then was writing down a few addresses she was thinking of. Ian was on the phone talk to someone and hung up. He looked at Fiona and spoke “I put out a missing person out on him. And I ah gave them his licenses plate, so if he’s out there driving or near anything we can get faster.” Ian said looking away from his sister.   Fiona nodded her head “Okay good. Come on” She said walking towards the door “I have a few other places he might have gone to.” Fiona said and they were out the door.   What they didn’t know was that just as they pulled out and drove off. Mickey was walking slowly to his apartment and was stumbling around things making his way back to a home. A home where he would be all alone.     ****   The drive to the next spot where Fiona thought Mickey was quick. Fiona looked at her brother and then back outside the window “Why’d you do it?” Fiona said to him and Ian stopped the car and parked it and looked at Fiona. She looked back at him and asked “Why Ian? Why put him through that? Did he really hurt you that bad for you to destroy him?” Fiona said sadly   Ian looked away from Fiona. That wasn’t his intentions at all. Now he didn’t know what the fuck to do or say. So he decided on the truth “I wasn’t thinking”   “Clearly” Fiona said   Ian cleared his throat and was silence for a moment “When I called it in, I wasn’t thinking of Mickey and Yev okay. I was thinking of……I was thinking of Grace and Lilly.” Ian said looking out at the window and it was like he was in different world, and as if he wasn’t there as he continued on talking “I was thinking of them” He said in a whisper Fiona looked at her brother and saw a tear come down his face “Who’s Grace and Lilly Ian?” Fiona asked. He didn’t answer after a while. All Ian did was wipe his eyes and put the car in drive and went to Mickey and Yev’s favorite park. Fiona wanted to ask more, but she knew that if she did, her brother would shut down.  She knew there was more, but she would find out later. Now she needed to find Mickey.   ***********   Jimmy arrived at the hospital in one of hell of a time. He got there and he could here Yevgeny screaming at the doctors and someone called Veronica.   “NO! NO FUCKING WAY AM I GETTING EXAMINED BY DOCTOR FRANKINSTINE HERE…..I WANT MY OWN DOCTOR NO ONE ELSE!” Jimmy heard Yev scream out. There were things being thrown and he could tell Yev was upset. He only ever saw him upset like that when one of the nurses told him that Jimmy wasn’t going to be his doctor. What was that for, Yev went missing and decided to try and find jimmy. The nurse was a bitch and she was fired for upsetting patients. Apparently Yev wasn’t her first patient she got upset. But besides that, we can’t get off track now.   The receptionist and the nurses at the station saw Jimmy and he got his equipment from one of the nurses and went into the room   Veronica looked at Jimmy and gave him a face “excuse me this is a private examination you have to leave, he had a doctor already here”   Jimmy looked at Veronica and gave her an unimpressed face “Yeah no” He simply said   Yev looked around the doctor that was standing in front of him while he was on the bed. He saw it was Jimmy and lite up. He pushed the other doctor out of his way and ran to him “Jimmy!” He said and Jimmy bent down and hugged Yev tightly.   “He little man! You giving this doctor a hard time?” Jimmy asked and Yev proudly nodded his head “Okay I got it from here” He whispered to Yev and stood up and looked at Veronica and the other doctor “Doctor…(Jimmy leaned in and looked at the doctors name tag) ah yes Doctor Cooper. Well it seems Dr. Cooper that Yev doesn’t want you as his doctor and prefers me. His primary Doctor.” He told Dr. Cooper but Jimmy also looked at Veronica “I’m Yev’s Primary Doctor along with Dr. Cortes. You should have notified us that he was in the hospital. He only sees us for special reasons” Jimmy said   Veronica looked tired and drained “Look okay, I was just giving the case and this file is new. I needed to take him in here to make sure he’s okay and healthy so I can place him in a home tonight with the family that is waiting for him. We would have been done by now, but he’s giving me and the Doctor’s here a hard time. Now you say you’re his Doctor?” She asked and was writing down someone on her note pad   “Yes! I’ve been his doctors since he was 5 years old. And so as my college Doctor Amy Cortes, it was why I was notified he was here by the hospital.” Jimmy said annoyed already by this woman   “And why would the hospital notify you of a basic physical examination for Yevgeny Milkovich” Veronica said sounding annoyed   Jimmy gave her a look and rolled his eyes. Yev laughed at him and then stopped when Jimmy shook his head “Because Ms. Veronica read his file and then you will know. Yev is a very persistent young man. He doesn’t allow just anyone to go near him that he doesn’t know. His father taught him that. Think of it as a rare form of OCD if you will. He likes to keep certain things the same like a ritual when it comes to his check up and appointments; and trying to transition him into something new fast, you will end up getting the results of him acting up and not listening. Hence him throwing shit like he was just a while ago.” Jimmy simply said, “but also you should read his medical files then” Jimmy said and then mumbled out “dumb ass” and proceeded to pick Yev up and put him on the table and start the examination.   Veronica on the other spoke “Well right now Yevgeny is in the custody of the state, so I need him to be examined to see if he has been mentally or physically abused in any way. I got a report saying he’s been neglected at home and left by himself for hours.” Veronica said   Jimmy looked at veronica like she was crazy “For one I can tell you Yev is neither physically or mentally abused and I doubt his father leaves him alone at night” Jimmy spat out   Veronica gave him a look “well these bruises on his arms say otherwise” She pointed to Yev’s right arm   Yevgeny got upset and shouted when he spoke again “I told you! Me and my best friend play around afterschool. We always wrestle, Liam can tell you that.” He told Veronica “Tio Jimmy tell her. I’m not lying we always rough house and play!” Yev said   “Tio?” Veronica said she looked at Jimmy “I thought you said he was your patient” Veronica said “I want the other doctor in here now. I’m sorry Dr…?”   “Litchman-Gallager, But all the doctors call me Dr. Gallagher. Took the wife’s last name.” Jimmy said   “Okay Dr. Gallagher you can examine Yevgeny if your Mr. Milkovich brother” Veronica said “However we do encourage family members to try and get involved and help.” She said   “But I’m not; I mean me and my wife, have known Mickey and Yevgeny since Yev was a baby. I am his doctor and so is Cortes.” Jimmy said. However Veronica looked unconvinced “Look if you want you can have the other doctor in here while I do the examination and he will be witness to the examination and prove that these marks are not abuse.” Jimmy said and Veronica was shaking her head as if she was trying to decide on what to do “Look I can tell you Yev is not in any harm’s way, just bring the other doctor in here and he can be proof we can both examine Yev…(Yevgeny gave Jimmy a face, but he understood why) please… look okay, I know protocols for this. I’ve dealt with other social workers in the past, you’re not my first and I know you won’t be my last.” Jimmy said to her   Veronica looked like she didn’t know what to say, but Yevgeny was finally quiet and calm. So she simply nodded her head and gave in.  While Jimmy was giving Yevgeny his examination, he had got a call to the front desk. He told them to hold on and that he wanted he needed to finish his examination first.   Jimmy had seen the blood test taken last week from Yev that was done was a little off. His white blood cell count was high, which shouldn’t be “Yev…do you feel sick?” Jimmy asked   Yevgeny shook his head but he looked kind of weak. That worried Jimmy. While Jimmy continued to do his examination he told Veronica he had to take Yev to another room. She gave the okay because she was too tired to fight, but she also needed to pull up Yevgeny medical records to make sure he was being cared for correctly by his dad. If everything that everyone was telling her was right, Yev would be able to go back home soon, and the anonymous person who put in the accusations against Mickey wouldn’t be a problem for the Milkovich men.   While Yevgeny went with Jimmy to see his other doctor Cortes since she was here; he also told Veronica they were going to be in the next room. He had Cortes paged and waited for her. Veronica was outside the room now looking over Yevgeny’s files. It showed that he was up to date with everything. His shots, everything, and he gets monthly check up now it seems, but before it was weekly. She wondered why until she turned the page and saw why. He mouth dropped slightly, but she didn’t want to treat this case any different from the other cases she had. This had to be done by the book. Too many cases of child abuse were being neglected by social workers and she would not let that happen to any of her children she took under her case. No matter how much they may have not liked her at first or how the families threaten or, and even tried to assault her. Her job was to be a social worker and to be the advocate for any child that was not being properly cared for.   When Yev and Jimmy were in the room waiting for Dr. Cortes Yev asked “How’s dad? I know he went to you guys-it was Ian. Ian had to have called social services tio!” Yev said quickly   Jimmy went up to Yev and hugged, “Yev calm down okay. Right now our main focus is to get you home with us, maybe tonight or tomorrow.” Jimmy said to him   “You didn’t answer my question….how is my dad?” Yev asked nervously   Jimmy looked at Yev and gave him a sad face “Not good…but Fiona is on the case. You know your titi loves him to death. And I’m sure her kicking Ian’s ass is like a bonus.” Jimmy said and Yev laughed “Plus Ian’s gonna try and get you back home as well…I don’t think he knew what the fuck he was doing when he called.   “Why are you defending him for” Yev snapped out at Jimmy “He’s the reason I’m here and not with my dad! You should have heard the shit he said about him and how-” Yev was saying but Jimmy cut him off   “Yev! Yev I know okay…..plus your dad and Ian got into it. Look long story short, Fi knows, everyone knows. But right now there trying to get you home and so is Ian. But right now I want to make sure you’re okay alright. Think of being a kid, and let us take care of your dad and you.” Jimmy said   Yev looked down on the floor and when he looked back up there were tears in his eyes “You know…dad always said that. ‘You never know who really love you, until you need them the most.’ Right now…tio I hope dad knows that…because he always use to tell me that mommy and me were the only things he knew that loved him and that he loved….I know he must feel alone and scared….because right now I feel like that right now.” Yev said wiped his eyes and straighten up.   Jimmy held him and told him it was going to be alright. Because right now he didn’t know what could happen. He didn’t want to Yev that Mickey was missing and not answering his phone. He didn’t want tell him that he got a text message from Fiona saying Mickeys not answering his phone and that the last few places they checked he wasn’t there. And he definitely didn’t want to tell Yev. That he just got a text message from Fiona saying that they found Mickey’s car and that there was no trace of him. He was nowhere to be found and that couldn’t be a good thing. Jimmy knew that.   Once Doctor Cortes came in and got the run down from Jimmy and his social worker Veronica who was in the room now. She did another blood test and asked him questions such as about his appetite, they checked his weight and noticed he lost some weight since last week when Mickey brought him in.  They asked him if he was tired a lot more and notice his underarm was slightly swollen but nothing. They asked if he had headaches o dizziness and Yev said no that he was fine. Then then decided for him to get a Chest x-ray. They wanted to see if there was anything in the CT scan that would give the answers to why Yev’s white blood cell count was too high and why he had a slightly swollen underarm.   After the examination, Yev is cleared and Veronica Bane was getting Yev ready and on the phone with the family he was going to be staying with. That was when Jimmy asked “Hey Ms. Bane can I ask where Yevgeny is going to be at? I mean we can take him tonight, I think that would be easier.” Jimmy said     “I’m sorry I can’t place him with you unless you’re a registered foster parents.” Veronica said     “I am! Me and my wife we are, we can take him” Jimmy said and just as he was Lip came up to him     “Hey man I tried to get them to call you. I’m here for Yev and any legal shit that need to be done with him and you a Fiona to get him home tonight” Lip said and then turned to look at Veronica     Veronica looked at Lip and asked “And you are?” she said     “I’m Phillip Ronan Gallagher, I’m Yevgeny’s lawyer as well as Jimmy’s.  I’m just here to make sure Yevgeny is being treated fairly.” Lip said smugly he knew he could throw crap at people and get away with it, even this lady here   Veronica didn’t look impressed in fact she looked annoyed “Well right now Yevgeny is going to his foster home so Mr. Gallagher you’re not-” she started to say but was cut off   “Well be that as that may, I have a right to know where he is going? I am his lawyer” Lip said   “On what ground would a child need a lawyer in this case?” Veronica said, she was tired and annoyed of people trying to get over on her     “Well having him being ripped from home for one, plus false accusation and mistreatment from child protection services has happened in the past Ms…?     “Veronica Bane!” the social worker said     “Ah yes, Ms. Bane. Well we both know that social workers have been known to lack there responsibility and I need to make sure just as you do. That my client is placed in a good home, and it would be best that he is placed with people he knows and not people he doesn’t know and is uncomfortable with.” Lip said to her “Well be that as it may, MR. Gallagher! I’m not most social workers. I will contact my boss tomorrow if things at this home I am placing Yev do not go well. Other than that, he’s staying there.” She said to them firmly     Lip smiled at her and shook his head “Yeah well. We’ll see about that” Lip said and looked at Yevgeny “Daty yim peklo malyuka. My vas z moyimy sestramy. Ne khvylyuytesa. (Give them hell kid. We’ll get you to my sisters. Don’t worry.”) Lip said giving him a wink   Yev smiled at him and nodded his head. Veronica then took Yevgeny and left the hospital. While Jimmy and Lip were heading out now to go help Fiona and Ian Jimmy stopped Lip “hey I didn’t know you can speak like what was that Ukrainian? Mickey speaks that to him sometimes, and Spanish. Apparently Yev can understand both but he doesn’t know how to speak it back or something like that.”     Lip looked at Jimmy and opened the car door “Yeah. I got bored one day and decided to learn a new language. I’m pretty good at it.” Lip said and shrugged his shoulders and got in the car.     Jimmy laughed to himself “Fucking Gallagher’s” He said and got in the car and they both drove off.   *****   The night was long and Yevgeny was tired, but wasn’t at the same time. The social worker lady Veronica left Yevgeny with a family that night. Yev can tell there were stuck up, up tight assholes. They tried to talk to Yev but he was mute. They had other kids and Yev just looked at them and ignored them all. They tried to give him something to eat, but Yev threw it out in front of them and went to go to the room he was told he would be in. He got his bag full of his things and took out the one thing he wanted to hold. It was a teddy bear; a small one with a brown nose that had half an eye missing on the right side. Yev had that Teddy bear since he was a baby his dad told him. It was his moms, and she brought it over from Russia when she came over. Yev never went anywhere without and didn’t let anyone bit Mickey touch it. Not even Fiona, or Liam. This was his, because it was hers. Yev just laid down in his clothes not changing them and drowning out the world.   He was nervous to be in a different place that he wasn’t familiar with. It kind of threw off his schedule he had at home. He always had a routine he did and it was thrown off now due to the time and the place he was at. Yev had let his eyes drift off and was holding onto the Teddy bear. He heard someone come in his room, but didn’t pay any mind. He shared the room with two other boys he was told. However Yev awaken more from his sleep when he felt his teddy bear being pulled from him. That was when he woke up and snatched it up close to him.   Yev was looking at the two other boys in the room. He clutched onto his bear and then grabbed his bag from the side of the bed and put the bear in it. He stared down the two boys in front of him “What you want?” Yev said   “What you got in the bag?” the boy with the dark brown hair said with a smug look. Yev couldn’t remember his name. It starred with a D….Devon….Daron, Devin! Yeah Devin   Yev raised his eyes brows and gave kid who was probably older than him a look of ‘fuck with me if you want to and watch and see what happens’ “None of your fucking business. My shits not your concern asshole!” Yev snapped out.  Yev knew his dad didn’t like him cursing he said “fucking people will think I’m raising an animal or some shit! But then again they haven’t see you eat so yeah” That thought made Yev smile, but then he was brought back from his thoughts when the other boy spoke   “You can’t speak to us like that! You’re gonna be living with us in our room!” the other boy with light brown hair and eyes said. Yev couldn’t remember his name thought “I heard your mommy and daddy want you! Just like all of us here. That’s why you’re here! So you just say goodbye to the stuff you have, we all share things.” The young boy said   Yev looked at both boys with murder in his eyes. He might have been 10 years old going on 11 soon. But he would be damned if these little pricks talk shit about his dad or his mom for that matter. “First thing you dumb asshole can do, is fuck off before I show what it mean to fuck with a Milkovich. Second thing you can do is don’t talk to me. Like ever; soon I’ll be out of here and last thing you can do.” Yev said and got up from his bed and punched Devin in the face hard and then pushed the other kid that looked like a pop star boy band on the floor and kicked him in the ball. Yevgeny then twisted pop star boys arm around his back and made him cry out in pain.   The Foster parents Yev was staying with heard the screams and came in the room and saw Yev on top of their son, and Devin on the floor holding his noise. Yev punched him dead in the noise and it was bleeding. Probably broken Yev thought as Mr. Pussy foster dad got Yev off of the other boy.   “Yevgeny what are you doing?” the man said to the Yev   “Your prick of a son started it. They both did! I just want to be left alone!” Yev said walking over to the bed sitting on it crossing his arm across his chest.   “Yevgeny we understand you’re having a hard time, but to accuse the boys” Now the woman spoke   Yev looked up at her like she was crazy “Accused! Fuck that shit!” He shouted “Those two little shits came in here trying to take my stuff from me! And I’m wrong! Fuck that!” Yev was pissed. It was times like this that even dad would say he had his attitude   “Yevgeny we do not allow that kind of language in our house!” The man Mr. Pussy dad Yev called him said firmly to him   Yev found this to be the best way to do what Lip said so “Tough Shit Sherlock! You decide to take me in, when I could have gone somewhere else! So deal with it! And tell dumb and dumber to leave me the fuck alone!” Yev said   Yev can tell both his foster dad was upset from the red look on his faces and the anger look he had, but Yev just smiled at him and his wife, who seemed to be tired.  If acting up was one thing he would do to get removed from here. Well then he would do it. Just as Yev was about to say something someone else spoke from the other side of the room   “It was Lucas fault and Devin’s guys” A voice from the other side of the room said. Yev looked over and saw another boy laying in bed sitting up. Apparently Yev didn’t see him. He was older than them he can tell. “James you know your sons a little shit. He came in here with Devin starting things with the new kid. Little guy was just defending himself. I saw the whole thing.” The boy continued to talk   The man, James Yev found out; saw that he looked over at his son and then back at the other boy who was talking “Still doesn’t give Yevgeny the right.” He said and he went to help Devin up from the floor and put his head back so his noise didn’t continued on bleeding everywhere.   “Yeah well it doesn’t give Lucas the right either. So he got what he deserved.” He said now getting up and walking over to closet and pulling out something. Yev kept his eyes on him as he spoke. The young teen from what Yev can tell put a cigarette in his mouth and lite it up without saying anything   “Alex! You know we don’t like it when you smoke in the house! Outside now!” the foster lady said   Alex raised his hands in defense; with the cigarette still in his mouth he smile at Yev, but then directed his attention back to the adult “Fine, Fine, Fine. Alright Lisa. Can I at least smoke out the window? I don’t feel like getting dressed.” Alex said lazily and still went to the window not waiting for a reply   Lisa smiled at Alex and shook her head “Sometimes I swear” she said and Alex cut her off   Alex was nodded his head as he talked now “Yeah, yeah I know me too! I swear!” Alex said laughing while blowing the cigarette out the window. “By the way, he’s not sleeping in this room if he starts shit with the new kid” Alex said pointing to Devin “Because I will let him fuck him up.” Alex simply said and went back to looking outside   “Language” Both James and Lisa said at the same time. Alex gave them a look of ‘really?’ and he continued to look outside.   Yev on the other hand was on the bed looking at the scene in front of him and curious. How come Yev didn’t notice him when he came in the room? Yev was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Devin bitching and getting some of his clothes and things out of the room. Lisa came over to Yev and sat down next to him “I’m sorry our sons can be little pricks sometimes” she said and that got smile from Yev. “Alex is a good big brother, so he won’t bother okay?” she said and then looked at Alex “And you!” She said and Alex looked over her at her stubbing out his cigarette. “Don’t be a bad influence, or teach him to smoke!” She said giving him a half smile.   James and the two other pains in a asses had left the room as Lisa was leaving. Alex smiled and said before she left “Really? You tell me that, but he had pinned Lucas on the floor and probably broke Devin’s noise (he turned to Yev and smile and said) which by the way is awesome kid (then he looked back at Lisa) but yet you tell me to not be bad influence around him? Kids a natural!” Alex said and laughed   Lisa gave him a look and closed the door behind her, leaving Yevgeny and Alex in the room. Yev was lying down on his bed, not wanting to be bothered when he heard Alex speak “So…you go a nick name I can call you instead of that long ass name you got, that everyone seems to fuck up as they say it.” Alex said   Yev sat up on his bed and nodded his head “Yeah…my family and friends call me Yev.” Yev simply said   Alex nodded his head and got up and went to his bed “Yev….okay I like it, better I think.” He said and went to lay back down and looked over at Yev “By the way Alex is my name if you didn’t get it before, I don’t like my name. Reminds me of my old man Alexander; sounds like an asshole right?” Alex asked him and Yev smiled at him “Yeah I know, he never like it when my mom called him Alex, so I prefer to be called Alex.” He said and then looked at Yev “You still got parent kid?” He asked   Yev looked over at him and nodded “Yeah…someone told social services that my dad neglects me and puts me endanger. I’m here because of that.” Yev told him   Alex just nodded “Does he? …I mean does he neglect you or whatever and put you endanger like the said or some shit?”   Yev looked at Alex and shook his head immediately “No! No my dad doesn’t do that! He sometimes leaves me alone, but it’s not for long, and I’m usually asleep and he’s always there. He’s a good dad; just some asshole went ahead and put their two cents into something they shouldn’t have.” Yev said bitterly   “Well. If your dad’s a good then don’t tell them that he does leave you sometimes. Kept that shit to yourself okay.” Alex said and Yev nodded his head “I’m sure you’ll be out of here soon. Most kids come and go out of here a lot.” Alex said   Yev was curious now, how long has Alex been here? “How long have you been here?” Yev asked “I mean you don’t have to answer.” He then said quickly   Alex snorted and chuckled a little “Since I was 10. My old man was abusive…mom well she was a drug addict. She never got cleaned so here I am stuck here till I’m 18. And even then the state said they’ll pay for my school till I’m 21. So free ride of a college education and shit. Anything to get the fuck up out of here really.” Alex simply said   “How old are you?” Yev asked   “Just turned 17 kid. One more year and I’m out this bitch!” Alex said proudly   Yev smile “Good for you.” Yev said sadly. He wanted to leave now, but then when he looked at Alex who was now reading his book. He couldn’t help but imagine if he got stuck here till he was 18. That wouldn’t happen. His aunt and uncle and his dad would not let that happen to him. Yev went into his bag and got out his book and started writing while holding on to his bear. He was so into his thoughts of writing that he didn’t even notice Alex had came over and sat on the end of the bed and was watching him.   “You write a lot from what I can see.” Alex said   Yev looked up startled at little and then closed the book “Yeah…my doctor says it’s good to write…..I write about everything. I’m mostly told to write about feelings and stuff. I usually show it to my dad and we talk.” Yev said quietly.   Alex looked at Yev and saw how sad he was “hey man, don’t worry okay? I’m sure your dad’s gonna be happy to read your stuff again. “   Yev sighed loudly “Doesn’t matter anymore…I’m too tired to write.” Yev said and threw the book to the side and held on to his bear tightly   “You wanna talk man? When I first got here, I had this foster sister she was awesome. I totally had a crush on, but she was my foster sister. Anyways she would always tell me to tell her what was on my mind. Or that we can talk about why the fucking sky was blue or why it rains. Like simple dumb shit. It help distracted me a lot. Plus I got sister I never had.” Alex said   Yev looked at Alex for a moment and wondered if he should answer why the sky is blue because he did know that answer to that. Yev chuckled a little and Alex looked at him “What?” Alex said   “I know why the sky is blue.” Yev simply said laughing, which made Alex laugh as well.   The whole night they stood up talking about everything. Yev told Alex about his aunt Fiona and his best friend Liam. About how his dad worked two job, and about his mom, which Yev told him “I never talk about my mom to anyone…not even Liam and if I do that’s rare.” They talked about favorite sports and about Alex as well. How after 3 tries of detoxing his mom gave up and he was appointed to the state and that was how he stood here with James and Lisa. Alex told Yev, James can be a dick of a guy, but Lisa is soft and more understanding. She sometimes just acts tough so that James doesn’t say shit to her about “disciplining is key for these keys” he would say to her. Alex told Yev that Lisa didn’t pay mind to him, which was why he respected her more. She was in the system so she knows how keys can be.   The whole night they just talked and talked and Alex went on to tell Yev about his foster sister Linora and how she was awesome and is now in college for psychology or some shit. She visits all the time and Alex said if Yev’s here long enough that he could meet her. That night started out as hell, and Yev thanked whoever in the universe for putting his mind at ease slightly as he forgot about everything that happened for a moment.  And just for that night as both boys stood up and talking and laughing….Yev didn’t worry about anything. Because he knew things would work out someway or somehow. Plus! He got a new brother. As Alex told him “Yeah no matter what kid, you’re my foster brother. Especially when you go back to your dad. Think of us as bros for life. I mean shit; we’ve both been in the system right?” Alex said laughing and oddly that made a lot of sense to Yev.   ****** The next day was a blur, and nothing seemed right. Mickey got up from the floor from within the bathroom. He felt dizzy and out of place, he looked at the time and notice he had to be a work soon. He was on auto pilot at this moment. He told Fiona he would cover the shift…he told Yev that he would get him back…he told himself it would be okay.   However Mickey told himself a lot of things. So he took a showered got dressed and put on a long sleeve shirt. He went to Yev’s room and made his bed. Yev didn’t like it when his bed was a mess; Mickey picked up his pillow and smelled it. It smelled like his son. Mickey let out a few tears again and went to put the pillow back and walked out the room wiping his face. He then got his jacket on and walked out the house. He didn’t bother to check if he had his phone on him, or his wallet, or if he even had his house keys. He simply walked out the door and headed straight to work on foot. Mickey didn’t pay attention to anyone. Not to the person he bumped into, not to the street lights that turned green when he was crossing the street. Not even to the guy that cursed at him when Mickey walked by him, making him spilled some of his coffee. Mickey Milkovich was numb and felt more alone and such a failure. Not being able to protect his son, or even preventing him from being taken away. He knew whatever was told to social services; that he would have a hard time getting his son back….Unless there was a miracle. Chapter End Notes So what yah think....behind everyones life is a story not told right....so Ian has one, and well you'll soon will see. Plus MIckey is going to be well. not so mickey as he is emotionally not all up there. Please do let me know what you guys think about this chapter. I needed to let you guys see more of Yev and soon very soon you all will know more of his story and Mickeys, as well as Svetlana's ***** Aftermath of Pain....and 7 years ago ***** Chapter Notes OKay so I'm back. Been sick lately but I'm good now. The weather out here in NY is crazy and it got me sick. So here you go, and again all mistake and errors are my fault. I have no beta. Also this may have some triggers and I do warn you about that. Also let me know what you guys think of this chapter. I love your kudos and comments xoxox you guys See the end of the chapter for more notes Everyone was exhausted, Fiona and Ian where out till late looking and searching for Mickey. While Jimmy stood home hoping for that maybe Mickey would come back to the house. Lip had went home and told Jimmy that in the morning they can go to Quin and see about getting Yevgeny with them, till this whole situation is resolved.   Yevgeny didn’t get much sleep either, but was able to be at ease thanks to his late night talk with Alex. So everyone was mentally or physically exhausted. That morning Yev’s foster parents tried to get him to interact, but he continued to seem isolated himself.  He only seemed to talk and interact with Alex so that was a win, wins for them.   Ian had to go to work, but kept the missing person report out for Mickey in case anyone saw him or even heard from him. It was the least he can start to do and try to make things right or figure the fuck out what was the story with Mickey. Ian had his own demons he had to face, but it seemed that Ian’s past was coming back. And in a way he didn’t want to remember.   *****   Mickey had made his way to work; he went straight to his locker, took out his apron put it on. Made sure he had his notepad and pen and closed his locker. He didn’t hear his co-workers greet him or say anything to him. He went straight out into the dining area and took orders. It wasn’t until about 30 minutes into his shift that one of his co-workers came up to him.   “Hey Mickey?” a female with blonde curly hair said. It was his co-worker Sam. Mickey just grunted in responds as he went to services his customers. “Mickey!” she said again and he looked up at her   “What!” He spat out to her   “The manager wants to see you when you get a chance.” She simply said and walked off. Fiona had ended up hiring someone for the manager position. Mickey didn’t care for the guy, but Fi needed the help and he had declined the job, so he managed with it.   Mickey ignored Sam and went onto the next customers at the next booth. When he got there he paused and looked over at the family in front of him. A dad with his son; Mickey inhaled his breath and exhaled before he went up to them. The son and dad were laughing and talking. Mickey cleared his throat and smiled at the father and son in front of him. “Um…good morning, my name is Mickey I’ll be your waiter this morning.  Can I get you anything to drink?” He says carefully   The father and son smiled up at Mickey “Ah yeah, can we have water for now.” The father told Mickey and Mickey wrote down on his notepad. The father turned to his little “You ready order now Eli?” The father said and the little boy nodded his head up and down.   “Yes!” The little boy Eli said happily “I want? Hmmmm ah dad can I get eggs with toast and bacon?” The little boy asked his dad   The father smiled at his son and nodded his head “Of course little man. Eating big I see? So you can be big and strong like your dad?” He said smiling at his son   “Yes!” The little boy smiling looking up at Mickey; Mickey paused for a moment as the little boy looked up at him and he had the same blue eyes as Yev. Mickey looked back at the dad and his eyes were glassy.   The father of the young boy looked back at Mickey and gave him a confused worried face. Mickey breathed with a hitched sound. “Um…..I’m sorry-I’m sorry I can’t do this.” He said and walked away to the backroom of the diner. He went to his locker, opened it and took off his apron and threw it in the locker. He started to feel himself hyperventilating and was trying to not make himself feel like the walls were closing in on him. He sat down on the floor and tried to breathe. He had tears coming down his face as he tried to control his breathing. He didn’t notice when the new dickhead manager coming in the back room.   “Mickey what the fuck man!?” the manager said and continued to talk “You fucking left that customer there and I asked to see you 15 minutes ago!” The manager nearly shouted at Mickey   Mickey was just looking up at the guy and shook his head. He got up and closed his locker, put his jacket on and started to head out for the front door. Mickey didn’t want to hear anyone right now; he just wanted to be home alone. He didn’t pay attention to no one as he left, not at the manager who was yelling at him from behind about not coming back to work, not at the customers who looked at him as the manager yelled at him; and not at his coworkers who were stunned and shocked at how Mickey was just leaving and how he was acting like he wasn’t even there. Mickey left and walked and walked, till he made his way back home.   *******    Fiona was up early making coffee planning her day out. She was going to child services to see about Yev’s case then he was going to find Mickey asap. Ian had left to work and she threaten him to fix this or by someway at least help Yev get back to his family. She hadn’t heard from Ian all morning since then. Last night when Jimmy came home and when she got there he told her what happened in the hospital. Fiona’s first thing on her list was important; she needed to go see were child services placed Yev at and Jimmy and her were going to their caseworker and then Quin who was the boss.     She was deep in her thoughts when her phone rang; she picked it up quickly hoping it was Mickey, but it wasn’t. It was Samantha? Why would Samantha be calling her? Unless something happened at the Diner. Fiona picked up the phone so not ready to hear if anything went wrong at the diner “Sam? Hey what up?” Fiona said.   Sam was quiet over the phone for a bit but then spoke “Fi? Don’t freak out okay?” Sam said. Her and Fiona go way back, Fiona was the one who hired Samantha and Mickey took her under his wing. So when Mickey came into work today, she saw how he was off. And then with what just happened, she felt like she needed to tell Fiona.   “Freak out? Sam what the fuck happened? Did something happened in the Diner? Are you okay is everyone fine?” Fiona started to panic   “Fi! No every things fine! Well not really fine, fine, but the diner is fine…its just-” She said in a rush   Fiona sighed in relief “Then what the fuck Sam you scare the shit out of me. You kn-” Fiona said while talking but was cut off   “It Mickey Fiona!” Samantha said and Fiona stood shut.   “What!? Mickey? Is he there?” Fiona said and asked in a rush. Her heart was beating fast and she was putting her coat on and finding her keys to rush out the door when she heard Samantha talk again   “No he’s not here anymore.” Samantha said and Fiona stopped in her track “Well where the fuck did he go?” Fiona said to her   “I don’t know Fi….but he was” Sam started to say and Fiona can tell she was biting her lip trying to come up with words to explain whatever the fuck it was she had to explain to Fiona.   “He was what Sam…tell me” Fiona said to her. She didn’t mean to snap at Sam, but she didn’t find Mickey at all last night and she worried as fuck   “He wasn’t acting like himself Fi. He wasn’t his grumpy smiling self. I thought he was having one of his man day periods but then he ignored everyone, and when he was busting tables and taking orders it was as if he was a zombie. But then this one table he like shut down in a way.” She said   “Shut down? What you mean shut down Sam?” Fiona asked   “Well he’s next table he was going to was with this father and son. Mickey looked okay but then I don’t know. Then the father complained saying Mickey just stormed off and some other shit, but then when I tried to talk to Mickey. It was like he didn’t heard me or anything and the new dick head manager practically fired him, yelling at him to not come back in front of everyone at that….(There was silence over the phone but then Samantha spoke) And Fi….” She said and Fiona can tell she was hesitant to continued “Fi, I know I have known Mickey long, but he didn’t look right coming in, and he…I don’t know.” Sam said   Fiona sighed “How long ago was this Sam? How long ago did Mickey leave?” She asked   “Just like 5 minutes ago. It just happened right now.” Sam said to Fiona   Fiona nodded her head as if Sam could see “Okay…okay I’ma go find Mickey, don’t worry about it okay. And thanks for calling.” She said and then added “Oh hey if he comes back there call me immediate okay.”   “Okay.” Sam said and Fiona hung the phone up and looked up at the picture of her, Jimmy, Yev, Liam, and Mickey. She bit her lip and got her keys, wallet and jacket on and headed out the door. Shooting Jimmy a text message letting him know to go to Quin and talk to their social worker and see what they can do. Fiona had hunch that she knew where her best friend was going.   ******* Mickey was walking up the stairs to his apartment; he opened the door easily because he didn’t lock it. He kind of prayed that maybe this was a fucked up dream and that maybe he would wake up.  That didn’t happen though; he went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes are red and puffy, he looks like a wreck. He looks down and sees Yev’s tooth brush and tooth paste; Mickey tries to wash his face and when he’s done he looks back down at Yev’s things again. He walks backwards till his back touches the wall and slides down to the floor. He brings his knees up to his chest and puts his head down and lets the tears fall down his face. He puts pressure on his upper forearms arms again and he knows he’s broke skin again, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to concentrate on a different kind of pain at this very moment.   After a few moments of silent tears falling down his face Mickey gets up and goes into Yev’s room. He slowly walks around his sons room. He intakes everything, his dresser and what he left on it, the shelves of books and action figures, how he told Yev to fix his Movie shelve but he didn’t and it’s still the same way. Mickey smiles at that, because Yev always told him “But dad, if I fix it how will I find anything? It’s perfect the way it is because of how I have it in order.” Yev told him “Let me get this straight. So you would rather have everything in your room perfect neat and clean, but when it comes to you movies looking like a mess, that’s okay?” Mickey said to him remembering Yev’s face “Yes Dad!” Yev said with a smile as Mickey remembered him “Fucking weirdo little man I swear.” Mickey said laughing at his son, who laughed right back   Mickey kept his smile on his face and didn’t release he was crying as well. He wiped his face and leaned down on Yev’s bed and took his sons pillow. He smelled his pillow and it smelled just like him. That was when Mickey broke down and cried whispering “I’m sorry” over and over again. He did that until he falls asleep.   ******   Fiona was on her way to Mickey’s apartment when Jimmy called her. She picked up the phone “yeah?”   “Fi get down here, I talked to Quin and he basically told the social worker we can get Yev and to place him with us. But you know the deal I need you here so they can go over everything and make sure everything is good and sign the paper work.”   Fiona hit the steering wheel in frustration. She wanted to find Mickey, she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Fuck” she said   “What happen? What’s wrong?” Jimmy said   “Sam called me from the Diner, said that Mickey showed up for work but that he looked off. Then something happened and he stormed off and the shit just happened a few moments ago. I wanted to see if I can go find him and talk to him.” Fiona said   “Fuck…but Fi we have to get Yev. Mickey would want us to get him first then find him…Plus…Fi I’m worried about Yev, but I have to talk to you about that later.” Jimmy said sounding off that Fiona knew that tone of voice   “Jimmy….Jimmy what you mean? Is Yev okay? I mean he has to be okay! IF that bitch placed him somewhere like where Debbie was at when we were younger Ima fucking kill her!” Fiona said   “Fi no-no-no-no-no okay….it’s just doing his exam last night….something was off, so right now I rather him be with us than anyone.” Jimmy said and sighed “Look Fi we’re just gonna have to find Mickey later okay, but now I need you to get here now.” Jimmy said   “No yeah your right…okay I’m on my way now.” Fiona said to Jimmy and made a u- turn to the social services place to meet up with Jimmy.   Once Fiona met up with Jimmy, Jimmy introduced Fiona to Ms. Bane “Fiona this is Veronica Bane, Yev’s social worker and Ms. Bane this is my wife Fiona.” Jimmy said   “Hello” Both woman said at the same time   “Okay, so when can we get Yev home?” Fiona said cutting down to the chase of things   “We can go get him now” Ms. Bane said “I was going over his case. I can assure you that Yev was placed with a good family. Now it’s from my understanding that you’ve known him since he was an infant him and Mr. Milkovich.”   Fiona nodded “Yes we do, since he was a baby. Jimmy’s been his doctor since he was 5 almost 6 and Me and Mr. Milkovich have known each other for years. He also has a full time job at my diner and is the head waiter there at the diner. He’s also up for a promotion as my new manager.” Fiona said to the social work “Yev is well taken care of from his father and we help out when we can, like with picking him up after school if Mickey is working an extra shift, or when Mickey needs to take a day off for Yev.” Fiona said turning her body to look at the social work “Yevgeny has never been neglected, Mickey is a great father. You have to believe that.” Fiona said   “Fi” Jimmy said but Fiona cut him off   “No Jimmy! She has to know that Mickey is a great father and would never hurt Yevgeny in anyway or neglect him.” Fiona said looking at Jimmy then back at the social worker “that little boy is his life.” Fiona said   Veronica sighed “I know Mrs. Gallagher, but it’s my job to make sure of it. Accusation such as these are something I can’t ignore nor can the system. So please I understand that you’re concerned, but I have to do my job and make sure Yevgeny is cared for correctly. And from what I see he is and that his father does what he can for him. But I still have to do things by the book.” Veronica simply said to her “Placing Yevgeny in your care has been requested and I’m doing just that. So if you can please work with me I would appreciate it.” Veronica told Fiona and Fiona rolled her eyes at her but nodded her head “Also” Veronica started to say “I’ve been trying to contact Yevgeny’s father, but his phone seems to be off”   Fiona didn’t know what to say and wasnt going to tell the social worker about what happened last night, so she thought on toes “He’s home…I left him there, he was pretty messed up about Yev being taken away so right now he just home resting.” Fiona simply told her. She didn’t have to know that Fiona and no fucking clue as to where Mickey really was…..no one had to know right now. Fiona would find him   “Okay. Well can you tell him to call me as soon as he can. I want to set up another home visit and discuss what we can do as far as accusation and having Yev go back home as soon as possible.”   “So you guys are closing the case?” Fiona asked her   “Well we first have to see. The person who accused Yevgeny’s father called back and said it was mistake and that what they said wasn’t true. We don’t take the person information down and there not obligated to give us there name or anything because it can be done anonymously; but none the less we still have to investigate to make sure the child is being taken care of. So even if the person called and said what they said, I still would have to do things by the book. But soon all this can go away and I can bring Yev back to his home with his dad if everything goes well.” Veronica said and smiled. And with that everyone was ready to get this thing started.   ***** After making sure all the paper work was done, Veronica took Jimmy and Fiona to the house where Yevgeny was at. Fiona saw the house, it looked big and okay, but she hoped Yev was okay. Once they stepped inside the house and were introduced to Yev’s foster parents. Fiona wasn’t trying to be a bitch, but right now she just wanted to make sure Yev was okay. Once Yevgeny saw Fiona and Jimmy he ran to them and hugged them. Yev got his things and said bye to Alex and they exchanged numbers, he managed to make a friend while in a home and it wasn’t that bad. On the ride home it was quiet but Yevgeny broke that silence   “Where’s my dad?” Yev asked   Fiona and Jimmy looked at each other and then Jimmy shook his head at Fiona. She looked at Yev and spoke “Right now…we think he’s at home, so when we get to the house I’m going to get you situated and then me and Ian are going to go find him okay. While we do that Jimmy’s gonna stays at home and watches you and the rest of the gang.” Fiona said   “I don’t want to see Ian” Yev said “I know he’s the reason for this.”   Fiona sighed and couldn’t really say much “Look Yev.” Yev looked at Fiona “I know you’re mad” “No mad is an understatement, I’m fucking pissed.” Yev spat out not meaning to   “Yev” Fiona and Jimmy said at the same time   “NO! No you weren’t there! You didn’t see those men hold my father back as they took me away from him…(Yev started to tear up) You didn’t see how sad and hurt he was, how scared I was or how he was…..you didn’t see him or hear him cry because of what your brother said to those people to have them take me away from him! My father did nothing wrong and has done nothing wrong. I just want go home.” Yev said and looked back at the window.   Fiona and Jimmy knew it was a lost cause to try and speak to Yev when he was like this. Yev wasn’t always a hot head, but he could be when he got emotional.   When they pulled up to the house Yev was still in the car. Liam was waiting for him outside and Ian and Lip were there as well. Liam ran up to his best friend and hugged him. Yev hugged him back but pulled away quickly. Fiona and Jimmy stood in the back and watched as Yev went into the house and didn’t even look Ian. He just walked past him, not saying a word or anything . Liam gave his big brother a small smile and walked in the house after Yev did.   Fiona and Jimmy walked up to Ian and Lip, but it was Ian who spoke “He gonna hate me forever, and I don’t blame him.” Ian said   Lip patted Ian on the back and Ian looked at him “He’s kid Ian, he doesn’t get why you did it…shit none of us do right now. But I can tell you this….you better somehow make it up to him and Mickey.” Lip said and walked inside the house   Ian sighed and looked around shakes his head, but it was Fiona who spoke before he can get a word out “You can start by tell us why you did….or you can start by helping me find Mickey. The Social worker said that the person who made the accusation called again and recanted his or her story. But none the less she still has to make sure Yev is in a good home….So Ian. You’re gonna help me find Mickey? The Diner called earlier saying that Mickey was there but then he left. So…we have to start at square one and since its day light still we can probably find him better.” Fiona said   “Yeah okay” Ian said and the all made their way into the house.   After calling around a few places looking for Mickey, Fiona was at an end. She thought about calling Mandy, but then thought of it again. She knew Mickey wouldn’t go to her. She was at a lost, she thought of one place he would go, but then again she checked there and there was no sign of him being there. and it wouldn’t hurt to check places twice. Fiona told Ian to get his shit on; she wanted to check out the same places they check out yesterday again.   “Fiona?” Ian said as she was getting her jacket on and getting her keys   “Yeah Ian” Fiona said looking at him now   “Where’s Yev’s mom?” he asked and Fiona slightly shocked at the question. That was something she had no right to tell Ian. Only Mickey had a right to tell people about Svetlana “I mean.., where is she, and why is she not here right now….did she leave like Monica did?” Ian asked   Fiona was about to tell Ian that it wasn’t in her place to say anything, but then Yevgeny spoke out “Shes not here! And it’s none of your fucking business!” Yevgeny said to Ian with such angry in his voice. Ian turned and looked at Yev and Yev continued to talk “ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO KNOW? HUH? YOU WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING!?” Yev shouted at Ian “My mother isn’t here…my father is the only parent I have and no he didn’t have to keep me, but he did. I remind him so much of my mother, his best friend in the whole fucking world, but he still choose to keep me and love me! So that answers your question?” Yev said with so much heat in his voice that he had tears coming down his face   “Yev I” Ian started to say but was cut off   “No! just No okay (Yev said weakly)….just find my dad and leave us alone!” Yev said and ran upstairs. Liam ran after him and Ian and Fiona heard the door slam hard.   Ian tried to look anywhere and everywhere to distract himself. But that wasn’t working. Fiona went up to him and silently told him it was okay. She hugged him and they left the house in search for the one Milkovich they needed to find.   **********   Mickey woke up and looked around; he was in Yev’s room and by himself. He wanted it to be a dream but it wasn’t. He looked for his phone and found it to be off, he turned it on, but the battery was low so he put it on the charger and went into the bathroom. He cleaned his face and brushed his teeth and when he was done he just looked in the mirror.   He walked out of the bathroom and went to the sofa and sat there in the corner curled up. He didn’t want be bother and he certainly didn’t want to deal with the outside world. He most likely just lost his job because of the freak out he had at work. Not to mention the new manager is a dick, if Fiona still talking to him or even cares after what happened last night, he still may have his job.  He wonders would she still love him…could she still love him like she said she does.   I mean it’s not every day you find out that your best friend, the one person that has never lied to you has been lying to you. Having a secret life somewhat in a sort of way. He didn’t know, he didn’t want to know. Especially if she didn’t want nothing to do with him; but that didn’t matter. He just wanted to make sure that Fiona would take Yev. Yev was innocent and he didn’t need to be placed in a home. Mickey knows Mandy wouldn’t take him in. Not after that big fight and not after what she said to him and told him.     So there was Mickey on the sofa, but it felt to open to him, plus he wanted something of Yev’s so he got up and went into his sons room. He grabbed his pillow again and his blanket and held it tight. He started to cry all over again because that was the only thing he could do that this moment. What Mickey didn’t realize was when Fiona came in and was watching him. Her heart broke, because she knew how much Mickey loved his son, and how much it was hurting him. She walked over to Mickey, who was now laying on his side holding Yev’s pillow and blanket close to him for dear life.  He didn’t notice her at all. Fiona slowly enters the room and goes to Mickey.   Mickey feels someone sit on the bed next to him; he pauses for a moment and doesn’t move. He closes eyes and inhales and exhales out slowly. He turns around and sees the one person he thought he wouldn’t see, the one person he thought who wouldn’t come looking for him, the one person he thought would leave him and Yev like Svetlana did….like his sister left him. It was all out of his hands and the left them.   Fiona saw the tears on Mickeys face and instantly wiped them away and she leaned down kissed Mickey’s forehead and hugged her best friend tightly.  And just as she held on to him tightly, Mickey held on to her tightly and started to cry harder.  Fiona just held on to him and didn’t say a word; she didn’t have to say anything. She knew that anything she said wouldn’t stop Mickey’s pain, or the guilt he was probably feeling.  She knew Mickey well, as much as he would let her in, but Fiona knew she just knew. Fiona knew him better than most and the crazy thing about it was that Fiona always knew that Mickey was keeping something from her. She tried hard to figure it out over the years, but never got anything out of him. She thought a few times that maybe he was dealing again, but this, this secret. Him being an escort well… that; that was one thing she didn’t expect, but none the less she didn’t love him any less; especially when Mickey was there for her when she needed it the most.   7_years_ago Mickey had come into work early that day; he was making up for the last few weeks he missed out of work because Yev got sick and had to stay home and take care of him.  The day started out like it always did he busted tables, took orders, got his tips and carried on with a smile so that the customers didn’t think he was an asshole. When half the time he wanted to tell them off, he knew it couldn’t.  So since he was doing a double shift from open to closed he noticed that one person didn’t come in today and wondered why.   Fiona was always at work, but she didn’t come in, and it didn’t go unnoticed. Mickey’s boss Glenn has asked him if he heard from Fiona and he said no, but that he was sure that if she didn’t come in maybe something happened. Mickey didn’t know why but he felt he needed to try and cover for her. He told his boss he would try and call her to see where she was at, but Glenn seemed to not care and was just upset that she did a no call, no show. He even grunted saying that he should fire her and walked off.   Before his shift was over Mickey has asked his boss if he can dip out earlier to go get Yev. He lied saying that Yev’s baby sitter needed to go and that she was being a bitch. Glenn had a soft spot for Mickey and told him to head out. He also told him if Fiona called him to have her call him, if not then she was fired. Mickey nodded his head and left. He knew that Fiona needed this job; it was part of her parole to keep it. So he decided to go see if she was home. Mickey didn’t go get Yev, because his baby sitter was Mandy. But the only person that knew that was Fiona, plus Mandy today wasn’t bitching about having Yev all day so it was okay he guessed.   When he arrived at Fiona’s house it was dark, there were not lights on and he knocked on the door. Nothing; Mickey had came to Fiona’s house a few times throughout the year. Mickey didn’t want to get to close to anyone but Yev enjoyed the company of Liam, Fiona’s little brother and sometimes they would go to the park play and have play dates just the two of them with the boys. Fiona had no idea that Mickey was gay until that one time she went ahead and made a move on him. Mickey expected that to happen and for her to make a move on. He kind of had a feeling that Fiona liked him. Especially from the flirting they both were guilt of doing, but to Mickey it was harmful play. He did the same thing with Svetlana, but Mickey had to remember that no one was like his wife. So when Mickey told Fiona he was gay. Fiona was shocked and surprised and even tried to convince him that one night with her he would be all he needed. That was one hell of a good laugh to say the least.   However that didn’t happen and they continued to be friends and co-workers. Fiona was still on and off again with Jimmy and many times it pissed Mickey off at how Fiona still went back to him. But apart of him new that Fiona really did love him. Shit, she even tried to move on and date, but that didn’t work out. So now her and Jimmy were taking things very slow, and as Fiona said “We’re starting over…like from the beginning and trying to see if it will work. And if not? Well I can always try and go after you again.” She said winking at Mickey laughing and Mickey looked at her like she was crazy. “Yeah okay, if you got a dick between your legs that’s 7 inches and bigger than maybe.” Mickey told her. Fiona looked at him and then shrugged “There’s always strap on?” She said while laughing and Mickey threw a towel at her and she ducked out the way. That happened just last week so right now Mickey was wondering what the fuck.   But right now that wasn’t the case. Fiona would never just up and leave or not call work. It was weird but Mickey had a bad feeling. He knocked on the door again and nothing; he tried his chances and tried the door knob to the house. It turned easily and Mickey opened the door. He stepped in the house and found no one in the sala. He heard a sound upstairs instantly got out his gun from behind back. He then walked up stairs carefully trying hard not to make a sound. He looked around really quick in the hallway and saw a light in a room on. Someone was in there moving around mumbling something. When Mickey approached the bedroom he didn’t expect to see what he saw.   What he saw was Fiona and she looked a mess. She was looking for something and mumbling to herself, Mickey looked at her and saw something was off. Fiona looked like she hasn’t slept in days and was talking to herself. She was done, she had the same clothes on from Thursday afternoon when Mickey last seen her and it was Monday night.   “Fi” Mickey said   Fiona jumped up and smiled at Mickey “Hey Mickey! How did you get here? Never mind that, hey can you help me find my wallet!? I was looking for it, but can’t fucking find the damn thing. I need to go to store and get some stuff. I’m having a party tonight and I have to get a few things. Oh and by the way you’re invited of course. You think your sister can watch Yevgeny. And yeah I have to get someone to watch Liam. But that’s okay he can stay up here and sleep. Or maybe Debbie and Carl can watch him. Oh yeah you know we should go like right now before the stores close. I have to order the balloon and get some music and down load it, and I have to cook. Or I can order a bunch of stuff! Nah I can cook that’s better you know! I’m thinking maybe lasagna or maybe chicken and pasta…Hmm maybe both who knows.” Fiona said and she was just rambling and rambling and Mickey never seen her like this “Oh yeah and cookies! Oh-my-god the kids would love cookies! Does Yev love cookies? What am I saying of course he does!” She continued on say   She then started speaking about other random things like having to clean the house and then she started cleaning her room losing her train of thoughts and jumping to another idea after another. “You know I was thinking about starting my own business right. Like be an entrepreneur or some shit. But I think I would be better if I became like a cook right? Because I love to cook and everyone would really love that!” She said and walked past Mickey who was still shocked and silent. Fiona ran down stair and turned on the lights in the kitchen “You know what?” Fiona said and turned around and looked at Mickey who had come down after her “Maybe we should like rob a store or something. I mean I need the money, and you need the money. Quick cash right, and then we can like do stuff.” Fiona said “I have so many Ideas Mickey it’s crazy you know.” Fiona said and Mickey noticed that there was powered stuff on the counter   “Fi?” Mickey said   “Yeah” she said looking up at him   “What’s that? That on the counter? And where’s Liam, Debbie and Carl?” Mickey asked her   “Oh well Debbie took Liam to a friend’s house like a sleep over or something and Carl well…I don’t know where Carl is? I think I should call him.” Fiona said and took her phone “Shit! A lot of people called me today!” she said and ignored the missed calls. Mickey went up to her and saw that she was texting Carl asking him where he was at and then put the phone back in her pocket. She smiled at Mickey and “I text him, he should text back.” She simply said   Mickey walked up to her grabbed her by her face. He eyes were dilated. Mickey feared she was on something and it looked like she was “Shit Fi!” he said and stepped back “Where’s Jimmy?” he asked her   Fiona took a minute to answer and then shook her head “I don’t know…I think he had to go visit his mom and dad. His mom is like sick of something so he left like a few days ago….I think” Fiona said and gave Mickey a face “But I’m okay! See!” she said and smiled brightly at him. But behind that smile was something else and he Mickey saw it.   “Fi what the fuck are you on?” Mickey said to her stepping back looking at her   Fiona shrugged “Nothing. I’m fine I swear I am….I’m me Mickey!” Fiona said and started to get things out of the cabinet “you hungry? Ima make some food now.” She said and started moving around the kitchen. Mickey walked up to the counter where the white powered stuff was and tasted it. He looked up back at Fiona and fucking knew it.   “Shit!” He said to himself in a low voice and saw how Fiona was now doing the little bit of dishes in the sink. Just then Carl walked in and Debbie with Liam. Mickey looked over at them but didn’t say anything. They waved at him but he looked nervous and Carl and Debbie could tell something was off.   “Oh hey guys!” Fiona said looking at her siblings and went up to them and hugged them and kissed them “You hungry! I’m gonna make some dinner, I was thinking pasta, but then I was thinking we have to mash potatoes with meatloaf. Or hey! Why don’t we like have breakfast for dinner yeah? Or we can to the diner and eat! I have to find my wallet I can’t find my fucking wallet! Have any of you seen it?” She said in a rush and Debbie looked at Carl and handed Liam over to him   “Take him up stair” Debbie said quickly and handed Liam off to Carl who didn’t object and Debbie walked over to Mickey “how long as she been like this?” Debbie asked lowly at Mickey   Mickey shook his head “I don’t fucking know? I got her a little while ago; she didn’t come into work today. So I came here to see what the fuck was up?” Mickey said to her   Debbie bit her bottom lip and had a scared look on her face “Fi?” she said but Fiona was moving around in the kitchen and still talking to herself “Fi!?” She said more firmly and Fiona looked up at her sister “Fi did you take your meds?” Debbie asked   Fiona looked at her sister for a few seconds and nodded her head after a few moments “Yeah…I mean yeah why?” Fiona said all of a sudden and started looking everywhere but her sister. “Shit… this shouldn’t be out like this.” Fiona said and started to clean up the coke on the counter “It can’t happen again…I won’t let it happen again.” Fiona started talk to herself now   Debbie sighed and looked at Mickey “Is that what I think it is?” she asked him   Mickey nodded his head yeah “Yeah…I came down here after her and it was there. Has she been tweaking all fucking weekend since she’s been off?” Mickey asked now   Debbie shrugged her shoulders and shook her head “I don’t know. I took Liam with me Thursday morning since I was staying at a friends and we had like this slumber party kind of thing. I did it because Fiona looked exhausted and I knew she needed sometime to herself. Plus Jimmy’s been gone since last week Monday because his parents and Carl well, I don’t know where the fuck Carl went. But the only time I’ve ever seen her act like this is when she’s off her meds or there not working. And she pretty good on keeping up with that. Writes in a journal and all.” Debbie said to Mickey   “Meds…wh-what meds you talking about?” Mickey asked Debbie. Debbie looked at him and closed her eyes. Fuck she didn’t mean to tell her sister business and if Mickey didn’t know, well then know he did.  “Spill it freckles what Meds?” he asked again   Debbie sighed and motion for Mickey to follow Mickey to the sala with her “Fiona takes medication for a disorder. She takes Valium, that prevent like her insomnia and Lamictal is both her antidepressant and moodstablizer. She takes it every day and I think they put her on an antipsychotic as well…um Risperdal. But she takes her medication everyday, so I don’t get it. If somethings wrong Fiona calls the clinic and sees the doctor immediately. She always says she doesn’t want a repeat and the fact she on parole they know about it, but she doesn’t want us going back into the system again.” Debbie said and now went back to look at her sister who was now cleaning up and doing laundry “this isn’t her…something must have happened, plus she might end up going on a down mood. Unless this is her coming back from a down mood.” Debbie said   “What does she have?” Mickey asked   “Fiona was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder. Our mom has sever Bipolar as well but hers is more sever than Fi’s. Fiona’s is less but she still can be destructive to herself and others.  When the whole thing happened with Liam, she was hypomania, so much shit happened that she started acting weird and then the thing happened with Liam. We didn’t know she was until she was evaluated when she was in jail….they said she wouldn’t get up or move and she was just there. So when they evaluated her they found out and then I got in contact with Jimmy and my brothers. Her and Jimmy been on and off again, but when he heard what happened he came back. Since then it’s been rocky but now…” Debbie said looking at Mickey “Things were fine, have been. So I don’t know how this could have happened….(Debbie sighed) I don’t think she took her meds. Ima go check and count them. Do you think you can watch her and keep an eye out on her?” Debbie asked   Mickey nodded his head and went into the kitchen. Fiona was washing the oven and laughing about a joke she told herself. “Hey! You wanna stay for dinner?” She asked Mickey   “Yeah why not?” Mickey said and then thought “Hey Fi…why don’t we go upstairs and relax okay. You look like you haven’t slept in days.” Mickey said to her   Fiona shook her head “Nah…I’m okay. I have a lot to do around here.” She said and walked over to the kitchen table. Started organizing it.   That as when Debbie came down again “Fi why didn’t you take your meds?” Debbie asked   Fiona shook her head “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Fiona instantly said   “Fiona I counted them. You haven’t taken them for a few days now?” Debbie said   Fiona shrugged and looked at Mickey “You coming? We have to go to the store” she simply said   Mickey shook her head “Fi…Fi what’s wrong? Why haven’t you taken your meds” Mickey asked softly   Fiona looked at Mickey angry “What the fuck, you think your my keeper or some shit?” Fiona said angrily “I don’t have to answer to you or anyone!”   “No you don’t have to fucking answer to me!” Mickey snapped at her “But you’re fucking coked up and your sister and brothers are worried about you! So what the fuck is wrong? They said you always take your meds and I’m sure doing coke aint fucking helping you! You’re bouncing off the fucking walls and doing a bunch of shit and you didn’t even come into work today or call out! So what the fuck is wrong with you!” Mickey yelled out at her   Fiona shook her head and eyes got glassy. She kept shaking her head and looking everywhere around her but Mickey and her sister. She looked down at the floor and at her hands. She wiped her face and then pushed past Mickey and ran up the stairs and slammed the door behind her. Mickey and Debbie ran up behind her but she was little more faster than them and locked herself in the bathroom.  Debbie was worried more now than ever. She heard Fiona crying inside the bathroom and tried to get her out. But with no luck, Fiona stood in the bathroom and paid no attention to anyone. Mickey motioned for Debbie to go check on Liam and Carl and he decided to pick the lock.   While doing this he tried to talk to Fiona “Hey Fi?” he said softly “its Mickey…you know Yev the other day. He was asking for you? He kept saying Fi, Fi…I think he’s got a crush on you, you kind of do that to people you know….You leave like an imprint of yourself on them….I know you do with me. Because if you didn’t I wouldn’t be here now would I?” Mickey said while he was picking the lock. He heard the click and then he opened the door quickly to find his friend on the floor crying to herself. “Fi” Mickey said and walked over to her and bends down next to her.   “Fi look at me….please look at me? What’s wrong Fi? What happened?” Mickey said softly to her wiping away her tears as they fell down   Fiona kept crying and now she was just shaking her head “I’m sorry….I’m so sorry I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean to hurt it.” Fiona said and she looked at Mickey “I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to hurt it I didn’t know I thought I was okay….I thought it would be okay. I made a doctor’s appointment but then.” She said and started sobbing more harder. “I killed it-I killed it-I didn’t mean to kill it.” She said and he was just holding herself crying . Mickey didn’t understand what Fiona was saying and frankly he was a little concerned with what she was saying “Fi what’d you mean? Help me out here babe?” Mickey said while trying to wipe the tears from her face   Fiona held her stomach and cried “I killed the baby….I didn’t mean to…I was fine we were fine….I was going to my appointment and then my stomach hurt so bad…then the next thing I knew I was on the floor in pain.” Fiona said and she was spaced out now as she talked “I was in so much pain and I cried and cried….when I got to the doctor, he said that I had a miscarriage and that I wasn’t pregnant anymore…..I asked if it was because of my meds and he said no. That these things sometimes happen….but then I remember I been so stressed at work and then student loans had to be paid and then I had to wait for my other job to give me my paycheck because they didn’t get payroll in on time, so then the rent was going to be late and I didn’t know what to do…I was so stressed and Jimmy left and said he would wire me money from his parents, but then he said he got into a fight with them about money….So I told him it was okay, because it was okay you know." Fiona said and wiped her face and breathe “I was going to tell him when he got home next week about the baby” She said and started crying again “I told I had a big surprise for him.” She stared sobbing “I don’t have a surprise for him….I killed my baby” Fiona said crying and burring her face in her hands. She cried loud now and all Mickey could do was hold her and let her cry.   Mickey looked over at the door and saw Debbie in tears, while Carl held Liam in his arms and had a sad face. Mickey looked away from them and just held her tightly, telling her it was going to be okay and that it wasn’t her fault. Fiona continued to disagree and Mickey just sat there with her holding her telling her otherwise.   It turned out Fiona stop her meds because she didn’t want feel anything and she relapsed and bought coke and did some so she didn’t have to feel a thing. That was her mania acting up and thats what Mickey figured. Mickey didn’t want leave Fiona like this but Mandy would be calling soon wondering where he was at.   “Debbie? Can you do me favor?” Mickey asked her and she said sure. Mickey told her to go to his apartment and go get his son and to tell his sister that there was an emergency and that she was going to take Yev and bring him to him. Debbie got the address from Mickey and he told her to bring some of Yev’s clothes and a few of his things as well. Debbie was on it and Mickey looked at Carl and told him to order some food and gave him money so he pays for it. He went on to tell him to make sure that Liam stood with him while he took care of Fiona and Carl didn’t object to it.   “Hey…hey look at me.” Mickey said to Fiona and she looked at him. Mickey had her pills in his hand “I’m gonna need you to take these okay?” he said and she nodded her head and took them from Mickey’s hand one by one and swallowed each pill and drunk some water. “Okay…so I’m clean you up okay, but I’m gonna need your help…so come on get up.” Mickey said and got up from the floor and helped Fiona. He brought her to the bath tub and ran the warm water for her and helped Fiona get undressed.  Even she started to take off her bra he turned around instantly. Last time he seen a woman naked was Svetlana and well, he kind was embarrassed, but right now he couldn’t think like that. When Fiona was in the shower the water was her hitting her body. Fiona was shivering under the water and was leaning her head against the title and just letter her tears come down her face. “Don’t leave me” was all she said in a low whisper and Mickey turned and looked at her. She was so fragile and lost, and no; Mickey wasn’t going to leave Fiona there by herself. So he stood there with her, and sat down on the floor next to the tub as Fiona slide down slowly inside the tub and she sat down in it.  She just cried and cried, and didn’t stop, Mickey didn’t try to make her stop, and he figured she needed to let it out. Even when the water got cold, she didn’t move, her head was learning on Mickey’s arms now that was on top of the tub. She was shivering again but didn’t want to move. Mickey then decided to get up, so he gently moved her head off his arm and she moved to sit back up and lay back against the tub wall.    Mickey turned off the water and got her, her robe and he lifted her up and she just stood there like a zombie. Emotionally lost and tired. Mickey wrapped her up in her robe and tried to dry her up the best he could. Mickey guided her out of the bathtub, and her hair was still wet. He picked up her hair and tired to tie it up the best he knew how to, just like he use to do for Mandy when they were younger.   Fiona looked up at Mickey now and she started to cry again, but she didn’t make a sound, she just had tears coming down her face. Mickey just wiped them away with his hands and caressed her cheek. He tried to walk with her but Fiona was weak and she almost fell. Mickey grabbed her and he heard her stomach grumble. He looked at Fiona but she made no indication she was hungry “Fiona? When’s the last time you ate?” Mickey asked   Fiona just grunted in responds and shrugging her shoulders at the same time at Mickey.   Mickey sighed and lifted Fiona up and carried her to her room. He gently placed her down on the bed and Debbie came up stairs with a sleepy Yev in her arms. Fiona was just lying down in bed, so he left her there to go take care of Yev. Debbie stood with Fiona, while Mickey put Yev to bed with Liam. When he came back he brought Fiona a sandwich and made her eat it and take her pills again that night. It was somewhat difficult at first. At first she fought him; like she physically fought him.    The next morning Fiona tried to get high telling Mickey she just needed to not think for a while. Thankfully Mickey stopped her. It was a battle and had to end up telling Debbie to go to his place and stay with the kids there while he dealt with Fiona.   Being a recovering addict wasn’t easy, but being a recovering addict with a mental disorder that cause her to be manic with her mood swings going up and down was worse. So instead of having his son and his friends kids witness anything bad, he told Debbie to go and take them. Debbie was reluctant at first, but Fiona told Debbie about Mickey and how he was a good person who just tough as nails, and he was kind. Only to some and never showed it, but when he did it was because he cared. And so she left and took her brothers and Yev with her. Mickey didn’t like that fact of him not having Yev close to him, but right now it seemed wrong to leave someone who was there for him when he needed someone the most. So he would deal with it.   That Night he called there boss and told them that Fiona was sick in bed, and was really bad, and that they were both calling out. Mickey lied saying something about Yev being sick, even though he still had a minor cold, but nothing serious. Mickey told there boss he could bring in doctors notes and said it was fine, but that Fiona had to have someone bring in doctors notes. It wasn’t a problem really, Mickey knew all he had to do make a fake doctors note, changed the phone number on it and scribble down a doctor name on it. All doctors had shitty hand writing from his experience going back and forth to the clinic. So it was easy for him.   That week Mickey stood with Fiona and for those few days it was hell. Keeping her isolated and watching her was hell. Making sure she didn’t leave the house and locking all the door and windows and trapping them inside with lots of water and food, just so she can try and kick the habit again. That week was hell, Fiona throwing up, shivering ever so often, she even tried to seduce Mickey in bed just so she can leave the house and get high. Mickey knew what she was doing. She wanted to numb her pain and not deal with it, but not dealing with it was worse and forcing her to take her pills twice a day was even bad. Hoping she wouldn’t throw them back up since she couldn’t hold anything in her stomach long enough.   By Saturday night she broke her fever and taste for anything bad. She cried herself to sleep most of the day, still taking her meds, but made an appointment the next day for the doctors. Mickey took her and he never left her side.  When she left the clinic she got her medicine changed slightly and was told to come in everyday next week to talk to her therapist. When they left the clinic that morning, Mickey held Fiona’s hand all the way home and it grounded her. Mickey told Debbie to come back to the house with the kids. Mickey barely got to see Yev that week and he missed him so much. The only communication he got was face time and when Debbie came over after Fiona would be sleeping.   Mickey reminded Debbie to not be mad at her sister and Debbie smiled at him. She wasn’t mad at Fiona, just disappointed and so was Carl. But Mickey reminded them that “even the most controlled people who got there shit together can sometimes fall apart. Aint no one perfect freckles.”   This was the first time that Fiona can honestly say; she fell in love with her best friend. No one had ever taken care of her like that, or even bothered to care. I mean sure if Jimmy were here and not at his parents he would have taken care of her. But Mickey who she knowns for about for little over a year, stood with her, fought with her. Held her down when she tried to leave, fucking wiped her down when she was sweating and talk delusion. The same guy who she threw up on and tried to through herself at so she can go score. The same guy who looked at her like she was normal, even after finding out she was sick and you know what? That was rare to find, and rare to have.   Mickey was getting ready to go home and packed Yev’s things. He was heading out the door when he felt someone grab his arm gently. He turned around and looked at Fiona; her eyes were wide and bright now, big and beautiful brown eyes were staring at him. And he had to admit, she was beautiful. “Just wanted to thank you Mick…. You didn’t have to help me but you did and I don’t know how the fuck I’m ever gonna repay you.” She said emotionally   Mickey shrugged his shoulders and gave her a smirk “You aint gotta. You were there for me when I needed you remember. You aint ask for nothing in return and this was just me repaying I guess.” Mickey said to her   Fiona shook her head “No…no Mick. What you did was beyond that. You’ve got my friendship for life…and my love. You ever need anything. I’m your girl!” She smiled at him   Mickey smiled back at her and nodded his head. Fiona then went up to him and placed a kiss on his lips. It was the first time he ever kissed anyone in a long time. And at first he didn’t respond to the kiss, but then he moved his lips with hers and kissed. It wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t heated, but a simply gratitude gesture, a thank you, and a “I care about you” kind of way.  They both broke the kiss and Fiona smiled at Mickey; Mickey was blushing at her, it showed on his face. He coughed a few times and cleared his throat. He gave her the middle finge, and with that him and Yev left, leaving Fiona laughing at the door way of the house.   Present_day   Fiona would never forget what Mickey had done for her, and what they meant to each other. While others would say that there relationship seemed too close; other who knew them knew it went deeper than that. And so they stood there for a while holding each other and Fiona was the first one to break the silence “I looked for you, for hours yesterday…I couldn’t find you.” She said to Mickey, brushing his hair back   Mickey was silent for a moment before he spoke “I didn’t want to be found” Mickey said to her   Fiona hugged Mickey tighter and spoke “You know….You told me you loved me….You never tell me that. (she sighed heavily) I thought I lost you or that you did something stupid again…… You never told me you loved me before. Almost felt like a goodbye.” She said to Mickey and hugging him more close.   Mickey was silent and didn’t want to speak, he just wanted to lay there and disappear. “I just wanted to disappear…I’m sorry.” Was all Mickey said and Fiona pulled away and looked at him   “Don’t be…I get it as much as I can get it, but I think I do.” Fiona said and continued to talk “But what I don’t get Mick is why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie to me? Of all people me? Why?” Fiona asked   Mickey sat up on the bed and looked over at Fiona “I didn’t want you to know…I didn’t want anyone to know…….but then things got complicated and…(Mickey licked his lips and was looking away from her) I just didn’t want you to look at me differently or even just leave me and Yev like everyone else did. The fact that you would end up thinking of me as a worthless piece of shit, a whore which I am, or how much of a bad person I am and a fucked up father… (Mickey looked back at her now) Fi? It’s bad enough I feel like that most of the time. But to have you think of me like that…” Mickey said trailing off looking away from Fiona   Fiona frowned and spoke “Mickey….Mickey I would never think of you as anything less. For Christ sake you of all people know I’m one not to fucking judge people. You did what you had to do for you and Yev I get that okay….I see that you had to….but you could have at least told me or talk to me about it”   “For what Fiona!?” Mickey said looking at her now “So I can worry about how fucking fucked up all this shit is….Being able to do what I had to do wasn’t easy Fi! It was easier to keep it to myself and deal with it on my own, I did and I had to.”   Fiona raised her eye brows and gave Mickey a shocked expression “Oh Yeah and how did that work out for you Mick” Fiona snapped out at him   Mickey sighed and looked away as he spoke to Fiona “God Fi, you of all people know that I don’t open up to anyone…. Since Svetlana, you’ve been the only person that knows more about me than anyone.” Mickey said to her   “No I thought I knew everything about you.” Fiona said and then immediate regretted it. Because right then and there that hurt Mickey and she saw it in his face. “Mick look, I love you…. You know all my secrets; you have done for me more than anyone has ever done and you know that... But Mickey what hurts the most is that I would never leave you, or hurt you. The fact that you would think that….Mickey I would be the last person to judge you or leave you, and yeah I would worry about you. I always worry about you and Yev Mickey.”   Mickey looked at her again and shook his head but Fiona kept talking “Jimmy told me how he found out about you Mick.” She said and Mickey looked away. He remembers that night and with what had happened and how tried to fight back, but nothing mattered. It was the most embarrassing thing he had to go through, the most horrific feeling he could have ever felt and he was alone. No one there to tell him it was okay, not one there to tell him this wasn’t his fault…and not one to tell him that he wasn’t the cause of it. Even though Jimmy was there and gave him a number to call in case he needed someone to talk to….Mickey was alone. Bruised, hurt, and ashamed….Mickey couldn’t describe what he felt. What kind of words can you form that can describe how dirty you feel, how disgusted you feel or how when you look in the mirror all you see is disgust and pain. How you can still feel that person inside of you and feel his creepy hands on you. Or how much it hurts that you can still feel him pin you down and take away something that was not his right to take. Or even how much of what happened to you that you feel it was all of you fault. To Mickey it was his fault, he asked for it….didn’t he?   Mickey was silent and he brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them “It was my fault.” He said lowly “I should’ve known better.”   Fiona shook her head angrily and grabbed his face with both of her hands so that he was looking at him “That was not your fault…Mickey no one is asked to be rape do you understand me. No one! Not even for what you do as a job, no one is asked to be raped. When someone says no its no! When someone takes something away from you, it’s not right! No matter what it is, if you didn’t say yes then it’s not your fucking fault!  So don’t you fucking dare say it was your fault, you understand me.” Fiona said sternly to him.   Mickey’s eyes were glassy, and he didn’t want hear it anymore. He shook his head and turned away from Fiona. Fiona sighed but said nothing; Mickey just looked away and grabbed Yev’s pillow that was now on his lap and was staring off away into his own thought. Fiona moved to get closer to him on the bed and he didn’t pull away when she pulled him in and wrapped her arms around him. He lay on her chest and she played with his hair for a while. Fiona then saw part of Mickey’s arm and notice the long sleeve shirt.  She wasn’t stupid, she knew Mickey’s MO; especially from the stories he told her about himself when he was younger.   “You know…you promised me you would never do that again.” Fiona said to Mickey. There was silence in the room, and they laid down still for a few more moments.  Fiona then sat up and so did Mickey and she looks down at his sleeves still playing with it.   Mickey looked up at Fiona, who was now looking at him with sad eye. She knew…he knew she knew, and there was no point of hiding it. Mickey looked at her in her eyes not looking away and spoke the truth “I didn’t want feel…I didn’t want feel what I was feeling because it hurt too much…..I lost my kid, I’m horrible worthless piece of shit of a father. And I tried so hard to make sure….”  Mickey said and tears were coming down his face “I look in the mirror every day and I tell myself I have to do it, I have to; but then I see who I am and I hate it…..they took away the only thing in my life that makes sense and I’m not sure I’ll get him back. So I wanted to numb my pain and control the only pain that I knew I could always control with no one hurting me, but me.” Mickey said to her   Fiona let out a few tears come down her face. She wiped them away and then she wiped away the tears that were coming off of Mickey’s face. Mickey put his head down and cried, he cried for Yev, for his mistakes, for all the nights he felt used, but knew he had to do it and needed the money. He cried for feeling like he was nothing and dirty, for being stupid and a failure, and for Yev being sick, for not being able to be better for him like Svetlana would have been. He cried for disappointment Fiona because she was the only person who was there for him and he count on, and now he felt like he screwed everything up because he was a fuck up.   Mickey had no idea that he was saying what he was feeling out loud and Fiona just hugged him as he cried and he kept repeating over and over again how much of a good father he was and how he wasn’t a fuck up. She hugged him tight and told him that he wasn’t a bad dad, and that in fact he was a good father.     When Mickey’s cries where subsided for a bit, Fiona then helped him up from the bed and together they went to the bathroom.  Fiona lifted Mickey shirt over his head and she looked at his forearm and wrist, and tried hard to hold in her tears. She looked up at Mickey and saw just how lost he looked. “Let gets these clean up okay.” She simply said and opened up the cabinet and took out the first aide kit. She washed away the dry blood from the cuts on his arm, and cleaned it with alcohol so that they didn’t get infected.   When she was done she put the bandages on and they walked out to the sala. She turned and smile at Mickey “I got good new?” She said to him and Mickey looked at her. His face was emotionless “We got Yev, he’s home with me and Jimmy, just like we promised Mick. And the social services lady said to call her as soon as possible.” Fiona said   Mickey smiled at her hugged her tight “Thank you” she said to her   She pulled away from him and shook her head “You should also be thanking Ian.” She said and Mickey gave her a look and before he could say something Fiona spoke “He’s the one who called social services again and said the statement was false. But the woman said she still needs to speak to you. I’m guessing to make sure every things okay here. Plus he helped me search for you all night last night and I think he know she royal fucked up Mick. Even put out a missing person for you in case anyone saw you. We tried to look ever where and was freaking the fuck out” Fiona said to him   Mickey chuckled but in a dark way “Oh yeah he fucked up…he went ahead and told fucking social services that I neglect my son. And you know what he’s right!” Mickey said   “Mickey no you’re not” Fiona said but Mickey cut her off   “Aren’t I? Fuck Fiona I’m always too tired to do anything with my son. At nights I go and deal with clients and leave him here alone…For fuck sake a few times I’ve come home beat up and he worries when he shouldn’t Fi.” Mickey said ran his hands across his face “You know…I was going to stop…I was going to stop the whole escort thing and the crazy shit is, is that I wanted to do it for both Yev and Ian. Because I really like your brother and Yev really wanted me to. So I felt like it was time you know. With Yev well and being okay and him really wanting me to stop this time and then with me meeting Ian and maybe it was like destiny or some shit….but then all this happened.” Mickey said.   After a few second Mickey of getting his thoughts together and Fiona not saying anything in responds Mickey looked at Fiona “How is Yev? Is he okay? Did they give you him yesterday or what did you get him today? Is he doing okay, eating and shit.” Mickey said in a rush   Fiona smiled at Mickey “Yeah…he’s fine. Even made a friend at the home he was at. But he’s not eating so much and was kind of tired….he ah, he actually blew up on Ian when he saw him” Fiona said   Mickey gave Fiona a shocking face at that. Yev was never one to get anger at anyone especially the way Fiona just said how he blew up “What you mean? I mean I know he would be upset, but like how?” Mickey asked   “Well Ian asked about Svetlana, (With that Mickey just shook his head and out his hand over his face as she talked) he wanted to know where Yev’s mom was at. So Yev must have overheard him and he told him she wasn’t here and that he only had you. He went blew up on and ran upstairs….I didn’t know what to tell Ian, but I just left it like that really wasn’t my place to tell him about Svetlana.” Fiona said “When Yev screamed at him I let him, and Ian well let’s just say he felt even more like shit.”   Mickey nodded his head “Yeah, no that would get him upset. Especially with everything with social services.” Mickey said to her   “Yeah he does, and Yev doesn’t look like he wants to speak or have Ian near him. But I tried to tell him that he’s helping me and you. I mean he spoke to social services and had a team of people looking for you yesterday after you left.” Fiona said and Mickey snorted at that “Mick.” Fiona said and Mickey looked at her. His eyes were still red and puffy from crying and he looked just exhausted “I know my brother… and I know there’s a reason behind this. He knows how the system is, I don’t know what the fuck was on his mind”   “Revenge was on his mind Fiona. Revenge okay. He saw me with one of my client the next day me and him slept with each other. So yeah I fucked up. (Mickey pointed to himself) But my son didn’t do anything to him. If he would have talk to me or even asked me, maybe I would have told him. For fuck sack even Yev was telling me to tell him why. So when I was going to, shit hit the fan….but it was revenge Fi.” Mickey said to her.   Fiona sighed and looked at him “Look, when you’re ready, when you both ready…ask him why, or talk to him. He mentioned something to me about Grace and Lilly and I don’t know what that meant, but I think there something about that with this or I don’t fucking know? So ask him about it when you’re ready and if he doesn’t give you an answer you like then……well then you have my permission to kick his ass. (Fiona chuckled) I’m not saying what he did was right and it was none of his business. But Mickey there’s reason behind everything that Ian does, and I know that there is.” Fiona said   Mickey looked at her and shook his head “I just want my son back home Fi. I don’t care what Ian has to say or why he did want he did….right now I want my son home with me. I don’t want to feel this emptiness I have in here (mickey pointed to his chest) I don’t want feel like I failed him because I feel like I have. ..I made one promise to Svetlana and that was to keep Yev safe and make sure he has a better life than what we had….and it feels like I fucked up Fi.” Mickey took a deep breathe in and out “So right now I just want Yev home. And when the time comes, I’ll deal with Ian later and that’s even if I want to at all.” Mickey said and wiped the tears coming off his face again   Fiona frowned hard and couldn’t help but want to take away her best friends pain. It hit even more when he spoke again   “You know?” Mickey said looking at Fiona “You know what really hurts about this besides not having my son home with me?” Mickey said and Fiona shook her head in responds “what hurts is that I really did like him…The way he would flirt with me, and the way he kissed me. When he held me…it felt right…but Fi I don’t know if I can forgive him…and what hurts the most is that I could have seen myself fall in love with him…because I think I was…but I guess I’m not meant to have that kind of happiness.” Was all Mickey said and sat on the sofa now wiping his face with his shirt and leaning back. Feeling exhausted from everything.   Fiona came and sat next to him and he laid his head right down on her lap and closed his eyes. He was tried and Mickey just wanted to sleep.   What Fiona and Mickey didn’t know was that Ian was at the door hearing everything the whole time. Hearing Mickey cry, hearing him say that he really like Ian, but that he wouldn’t be able to forgive him. The crazy thing was, was that Ian was feeling the same about Mickey that Mickey was feeling about him. He was falling for him, but now….now that might be too late. And it was because he fucked up.  Who was to say that what happened a few years ago with Grace and Lilly would have been the same thing that would have happened with Yev. Yev was older, but Ian didn’t think that, and yeah…he was impulsive and didn’t think of the consequence all this had. All because the guy he was falling for was an escort and he thought by punishing him it would be okay to make call, but not knowing it would hurt more than just him. It hurt everyone, everyone that Ian didn’t want to be hurt.   The crazy thing about this was when Ian made the call, he regretted it instantly and called back saying he lied, but what was done was done. You just can’t simply take back something that you say because you came to your senses. No! that’s not how it works. Even after everything happened, Ian knew that some way somehow he had to fix this. Even if that meant that the mad his was falling for would never speak to him again. As long as he fixed things and made everything right some way somehow it. Then he would be alright.   But even if Ian did, what was going to happen soon, no one and I mean no one could have predicted. And if life say that its time…well then maybe it is time. Chapter End Notes So think about that huh? Well All I can tell you is there is more angst and I'm preparing you for it now. Tell me what did you guys think about this. Soon I will be introducing Mickey and Svets story. Also thank you every one who has commented and and left my kudos and subscribed to this story I love it and appreciate it. For those who are reading my other story. I will be updating that one soon as well. Again leave me comments and kudos xoxoxox let me know what you thought of this chapter. ***** It ends tonight ***** Chapter Notes Well heres the next chapter. I have no beta so I do apologize for any errors on here. I will tell you this there may be minor trigger warnings like self harm implications and stuff this is kind of an emotional chapter...sorry but then again not sorry. Its a must. I love reading your comments and I love it when you guys leave me kudos xoxoxo so let me know what yah think about this chapter. Later everyone. See the end of the chapter for more notes The 911 call came in, both officers looked at each other, Ian’s heart sped up. It always did when he and his partner would get a call in over the radio. Even if it were for some minor shit, the adrenaline always got to him. So when the radio called in for a “there a 10-9, possible 10-3 code 2 at east 169th Washington ave” Ian took the call immediately knowing who lived at the address. Ian’s partner at the time knew as well and without speaking, they drove off fast to 1285 Washington Avenue located in the Bronx where he was patrolling; expecting and god willing hoping that there was no 10-3 there.   Ian was brought out of his memories of the past when his phone rang. It was a Fiona, she text him. Fiona_to_Ian: Hey Pumpkin It’s gonna be a while okay?     Ian looked at the text sadly; he knew it was going to be a while.  After overhearing Fiona and Mickey talk, Ian felt more guilt and was heartbroken. He like Mickey a lot, he really did, and just thinking of what Mickey thought of him….Well it hurt and Ian knows he deserved it. But it really wasn’t for revenge, Ian didn’t do what he did for revenge and he swears he didn’t. That was never his intent, he only wanted to make sure that Yev was safe because he feared that what happened to Lilly and Grace could happen to Yev. For a second Ian thought that ‘yeah…maybe Mickey was like Carmen.’ But then Ian realized too late, that Mickey was nothing like Carmen. So yeah…Ian Gallagher royally fucked up and he didn’t even know how he would be able to fix this. Fuck he didn’t even know where to start to try and fixed this.     He had made the call weeks ago to social services, so that fact that they came now about 2 ½ weeks later was a shocked. Normally when a person put in a complaint they do an investigation the next day. So Ian figured that they didn’t take his call seriously, but that wasn’t important now. Because now Yev was upset at him, Mickey thinks that Ian did it out of revenge when that wasn’t his intent, and he knows that Mickey won’t forgive him. So all Ian can do now is try and figure out what to do. He already called and tried to fix this, so now he has to figure something else out.     Maybe it’s the little things that will count. At least that’s what Ian thinks might help. He doesn’t know.   Ian_to_Fiona: It’s fine Fi. Do you need me to do anything, or just stay in the car?” Ian texted Fiona and not a second later she texted him back   Fiona_to_Ian: No…not know at least. I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. (that stung Ian, but he knew this would happen) But if you can, can you go buy us some sandwiches.   Ian_to_Fiona: Okay sure. Anything else?      Fiona_to_Ian: Just the sandwiches, I know Mickey hasn’t eaten anything and neither have I.   Fiona_to_Ian: Oh yeah and bring me my pills, there in the car in my purse.   Ian_to_Fiona: Okay Fi.   And that was all Ian text to her and was off to do exactly what his sister asked of him.   ********   Meanwhile Fiona was trying to comfort Mickey and talk to him. She tried to get him to eat something, but he refused. All he wanted was his son back home; all he wanted to do was see his son. Mickey just sat down on his sofa and was looking at nothing. He then looked at Fiona who sat next to him on the sofa. She was giving him a worried look and he pulled on his shirt.     “M’not gonna do it again.” Mickey said lowly. And for a few moments both he and Fiona were silent.     Fiona looked at Mickey and sighed “I was thinking of taken you to see Yev (Mickey looked over at her and his eyes actually had some life sparked into them)…But Mick? You can’t look like this.” Fiona gestured to Mickey “Plus the social services lady needs to speak to you, so I need you to try and get yourself together as much as it feels impossible…It’s possible. You have me and you have Jimmy. Yev’s waiting for you. So right now I need you to snap out of it.” Fiona said the last sentence firmly at Mickey   Mickey didn’t look away from her and he just looked at her. It was always in his eyes that Fiona can see his true expressions “I know…I just….what if something goes wrong?” Mickey said to her     Fiona frown her eyebrows and looked at Mickey with a questionable look “Since when is Mickey Milkovich afraid someone?” Fiona said to him     Mickey glared at her “I aint afraid of No One!....I’m afraid of losing him is what I’m afraid of.” Was all Mickey said.     Fiona knew what he meant and face expression went soft “I know Mick…but let’s not think about that shit. Let’s think about getting you cleaned up first, fed, and ready for this Veronica lady from social services. I know Yev will be back home with you Mickey. (Mickey gave Fiona a skeptical look but nodded his head) Once we talk to her then me and you, we can go see him. I don’t want him to see you like this.” Fiona said to Mickey “Okay so go shower and I’ll ah get us something to eat yeah?”     “Yeah” Mickey said and walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him     When Mickey was inside the bathroom, Fiona text Jimmy telling him she’s got Mickey and that she was going to bring him over later, but to not tell Yev or get him hyped up. She told him how Mickey was and she was concerned for him. Jimmy told her okay and that he was keeping an eye on Yev and Debbie was going to watch him in a little while. Jimmy had to go to work and he had to go run more test on Yev’s blood work.   Mickey was in the shower letting the water hit him. He wasn’t thinking, he was just standing there washing himself up as if he was on auto pilot. Mickey then scrubbed his body hard especially his forearms, He just stood in the shower, letting the water wash away the soap, and he looked down at the floor. He saw the soap wash away and water clean. His forearms stung, and he couldn’t help but feel relieved that they he could concentrated on that pain and nothing else. All of that pain he felt earlier went away for a split second and all he could do was concentrate on that. Nothing else, nothing more…and for a split second he felt relieve in his body that nor you or I or he could explain in words, but rather in the feelings of it. Like he was floating in bliss; but then relates hit him and he came back down to earth as the water got cold.   He turned the water off and thought back to that day. Mickey hadn’t hurt himself in such a long time and he wondered to himself…Was he an addict? Was this like a relapse?  No…no it couldn’t be; people don’t relapse from things like this. He wasn’t an addicted to numbing his pain…People don’t do that shit. That wasn’t him not anymore and besides as much as it felt good to do it again? Yev depended on him now. Mickey wasn’t this 16 year old kid anymore, he was 27 almost 28. He wasn’t broken…was he? It didn’t matter anyways; Mickey couldn’t afford to be broke now. One he wouldn’t let himself and two if Svetlana were to know this she would kick his ass and three even if he was broken. No one could fix him anyways. It didn’t matter, because deep down inside Mickey felt like he didn’t matter, and that the only person who did was his son. So he looked at himself in the mirror wiped his face and put on his mask. The mask he always put on for everyone. The mask he put on for Fiona, for Yev when Yev would ask him if he was okay. The mask he put on when he would go visit his clients at night…the mask he put on for himself. Because that was all Mickey knew how to really do.   **** Fiona text Ian to text her when he had food. Once Ian texted her back saying he got food for them ans her pills, Fiona told him to come up to Mickey’s apartment but to not knock on the door. She wasn’t too sure how Mickey would react to Ian being down stairs or Ian being anywhere near him right now. Shit Ian was his neighbor, but right now she didn’t know how he would react to anything and she didn’t want to chance it. She needed Mickey’s head to be in the game. She needed him to talk to the Ms. Veronica Bane, get shit started and then take him to see Yev. Now whether or not Ian being around was a good thing she didn’t know. It was like she wanted him to help more, but felt that Mickey would just push away, get angry and want to kill Ian. Shit she wanted to as well, but she knew her brother had good reason. He better have had a good reason for doing what he did, because Mickey wouldn’t be the only person wanting to kill him.   Sure when people think about it, they would say “oh but family is blood” no family is not only blood. That was her views on it. Too many times, too, too many times has her blood family left her and her siblings behind or betrayed her in some way. If it wasn’t her father, it was her mother, or cousins or aunts or anyone. Maybe her siblings as well, but Fiona knew her brothers and sister wouldn’t do that to her. Family meant being there for one another, it meant sticking by that person side, and it meant being there for them in his or her deepest darkest time and helping them no matter what. No matter what the cost was. It meant fighting for them or with them, whether it was there battle or yours. It meant never leaving them behind, and that was what Mickey was to her. And sure most people would think she was crazy. But not Mickey. Mickey was there for her when she needed someone the most, and always has been. You can’t put a price on that. Once a Milkovich loved you they were loyal. Loyal to the end, and that was Yev and Mickey. Fiona was happy that Yev had Mickey, and the stories that Mickey told her about Svetlana; Fiona knew that she was a true Milkovich in every way as well, that always made her smile. Loyalty and love was something they rarely showed, but were able to give you, if you were the right person who would have them.   So yeah, he was family, and family is something that is more than just blood. Its heart and trust, and love; the things she always showed Mickey and Yev and those were things they showed her and her family as well.   *****   Once Ian got the food he text Fiona and Fiona told him to come up. She opened the door and found Ian there standing afar. “You can come near you know.” She said to him   “I don’t think that’s a good idea...” Ian said silently   “I get that…but once this shit is done. You both need to speak to each other you understand me? (Fiona said firmly) He needs to know why and so do I.” Fiona said pointing to herself “Ian why? I still don’t get it.” Fiona said shaking her head   Ian stood quietly and looked down at the floor and shook his head “I can’t”   Fiona shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest “You Can’t? You can’t what?” Fiona said a little annoyed and a little loud. When Ian didn’t speak she continued on talking “Was it for revenge then?” Fiona asked and Ian looked up at her in shock “Mickey thinks you did it for revenge….so was it?” Fiona said not even she could believe that she wasn’t asking her brother this   “What!? No Fi! That’s not why I called them I swear that wasn’t my fucking intentions.” Ian said emotionally   “So then why?” Fiona asked again.   Ian stood there looking at her “I can’t Fi…I can’t explain right now okay.” Ian said to her. He didn’t want that memory to come back into his mind those two little girls and how they were-     “Fine! But you better figure it the fuck out Ian! I have a man in here. My best friend (Fiona pointed to herself) who’s in pieces. I’ve never seen him like this but once in my life and I refuse to lose him again like I almost did before. So you better get your shit together and figure out what the fuck it is you need to do in order to explain.” Fiona said and put her hand out for the bag that Ian was holding.     Ian reached out and gave Fiona the bag and she took it and looked at him. He then started to walk away and she watched him leave. Fiona closed the door and turned around, and once she did she was met with a cleaned, yet wet Mickey looking at her nervously. “I got food!” Fiona said cheerfully     Mickey looked at her and nodded his head. He overhead everything and wanted to ask why Ian was here, but knew that was a stupid question. He was in his towel only and went and walked over to his dresser that was all the way in the back corner of the apartment in the sala. He took out his underwear’s not caring if Fiona saw him and dropped the towel on the floor. He got dressed there with his back turned to Fiona, putting on a pair of baggy jeans and a black V-neck t- shirt. He stopped and looked at a picture of him and Svet when they were younger and smiled; he was 14 and she was 16, next to it was a picture of Yev and him smiling and next to that, was a picture of him and Fiona at the diner. In that picture Mickey was looking at Fiona and she was looking at him smiling. Mickey was never for sentimental shit, but that picture he actually loved.     When he was done getting fully dressed he turned around and walked over to the kitchen where Fiona was at. Fiona looked at Mickey and always found it cute that he casually wore his baggy blue jeans on with his black V-neck shirt, and his sneakers. She swore he had like a hundred black t-shirts. Mickey walked over to her and she who placed the sandwiches on a plate and looked at him “You ready to eat and finish this day right?” Fiona said to him     Mickey looked at Fiona and smiled “Yeah” he said and took the sandwich and took a bite of it. He knew she was right and he had to be brave and do what needed to be done. And that was to get his son back.   ******   Fiona didn’t say anything for a moment. “So I’m assuming Charlie knows since it was his club you said you worked at and he covered for you?” Fiona asked     Mickey nodded his head yes “yeah…yeah Charlie knows.”     Fiona gave Mickey a face “Well why the fuck does he know and not me!?” she said     Mickey looked at her smiled and let out a small chuckle “You’re seriously mad that he knows and not you?” Mickey asked her and she nodded her head yes “Fi he knows because he’s client…Charlies a client and has been since I started being an escort, he was one of the first of my client. He sometimes even gets me clients.” Mickey said     Fiona took in the information “Okay…so if he’s a client I mean…isn’t he like a friend of yours and Svet?” Fiona asked     “Yeah…I mean Svetlana introduced me to him, but we ended up meeting again when Yev turned 3 and was in the hospital. I needed the money and I told him why. I mean I was fucking him, so I told him why, and I don’t know why I told him. I just did” Mickey said looking away and looked down at the plate and sighed and places the sandwich back down on the plate and looked up at Fiona.     Fiona was silent and didn’t know what to say. She knew Mickey must be thinking that she was thinking that he was some kind of bad person. But that’s not what she was thinking at all. In fact she was wondering how Mickey could do it all on his own, not talk to anyone about anything and just keep it all in. So she decided to break the silent in the way she always did. “Well I’m pissed!” She said and shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.     Mickey looked at her and was about to say something but then she spoke again “Why the fuck does Charlie get to be your client and not me?” Fiona said to Mickey giving him a serious look at first but then smiling at him.   Mickey laughed at her sudden randomness and gave her a shy look. He was speechless, he definitely didn’t expect that “What!?” managed to get out     “I mean, why not me? How come he gets all the goodies and I don’t get shit…I mean I could pay for you!” Fiona said passionately yet jokingly at Mickey     Mickey just shakes his head and smiles and sighs with some relief in a way. He looks at her and gives Fiona a smirk before he speaks “Fi…you couldn’t afford me if you wanted to.”     “Oh yeah? I bet I could? How much?” Fiona said leaning back against the chair crossing arms across her chest and raising her left eyebrow and perking up her lips at Mickey. Think of it as if she was challenging him.     Mickey shook his head again and leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest now. He was amused by Fiona’s challenge so he told her “Depends on the services…usually any between $2500 or $3000. (Fiona’s mouth dropped slightly) If all you wanted to do was cuddle and talk or go out to movies or dinner or an outing and you needed a date. Me being that date then yeah that’s the price. Same if we fuck.” Mickey said looking at her seriously     Fiona’s face was in shock and she was blushing. She wet her lips and sat up straight. “What about discounts?” She said all of a sudden curiously. Mickey spit out his drink as she said that and started to laugh. Fiona was laughing to but she was seriously “I’m serious! What if you would give me like a discount?” She said laughing and Mickey couldn’t help but laugh with her.     God Mickey hated that she could do that thing she always did. Somehow make him laugh and forget, it didn’t work all the time, but when it did. He was grateful that it did. “You’re fucking believable you know that?” Mickey said smiling at her. Fiona smiled back and nodded her head. Mickey sighed and looked down at his plate “thanks fi” he said sincerely. Fiona smiled and nodded her head at him.     After eating their food, which Mickey actually had to force himself to eat because he still wasn’t really hungry. Mickey when head into the sala and got his phone and called Ms. Bane.     The phone rang a few times before she picked up “Hello?” Veronica said     Mickey was quiet for a moment but then spoke “Hi! Um…hello this is ah Mickey Milkovich, Yevgeny Milkovich father?” Mickey said over the phone. He couldn’t understand why he was so nervous. Fiona was with him, so he wasn’t alone per say.     “Oh Yes, Hi Mr. Milkovich, it’s good to hear from you. I’ve been trying to get in contact with you.” Ms. Veronica Bane said over the phone.     Mickey nodded his head as if she could see him “Ah yeah sorry about that. My phone was off and-but I’ve been home thought.” Mickey said to her. His nerves for some reason was getting to him     “Yes. Mrs. Gallagher informed me you were home and very upset (Mickey looked up at Fiona as he was on the phone and gave her a look) I apologies, but you do know I have to do my job. Most parents in this situation act as you do and some don’t. But I do have to do my job by the book.” Veronica said to Mickey over the phone.     Mickey just rolled his eyes “Yes of course” he said “So um…what happens next?” Mickey wanted to know. He wanted all of this to be over and done and finish and Yev to be home again.     “Okay so now I he to do a house inspection, which is standard procedure. The person that made the accusation against recanted their statement. Also my supervisor felt that there wasn’t enough evidence that you neglect you son. He feels that it’s best that Yevgeny should go back home with you. Be that as it may I still suggested that it’s best to do a home inspection and a drug test on you. It still has to be done by the book. In addition Yevgeny’s medical came back okay and he’s healthy young boy who is happy.” Veronica said over the phone to Mickey   Mickey could tell that she wasn’t too happy that her boss said for Yev to go home, but he knew she was going to try and make it hard in a way for Mickey. But if that’s what he needed to do to get his son back then fuck it. “Okay…okay yeah, sure, when do you need to come by and do all that stuff you said.” Mickey said     Mickey could hear paper work being shuffled around in the back around “Well the home visit I will be doing at a random time. Sometimes this week maybe and the drug test I think it would be best if you can come in a soon as possible. Maybe…no, not tomorrow, but the day after? I have a few homes I have to visit tomorrow, but if by some chance I finish early I can definitely call you to come in for the test. You simply pee in the cup and we take your urine send it to be tested. Sealed and all.” Veronica said.     That’s what got Mickey nervous but he kept his composure even over the phone “Yes, Yes definitely”     “Okay Mr. Milkovich. If anything just call me if you can’t come in due to work or for whatever reason. But after everything is done and everything comes back good, Yevgeny can go back home to you and the case will be closed.” Veronica stated     “Okay, okay thank you.” Mickey said quickly     “Okay bye then” Veronica said     “Bye” Mickey said and hung the phone up and looked up at Fiona worried “fuck” he said lowly but just loudly enough for Fiona to look at him and worry     “What!? What happen Mickey? What’s wrong?” Fiona said quickly “Did that bitch say something wrong or is giving you a hard time? Because she sa-” Fiona said about to go into a rant but Mickey cut her off.     “No-no-no it’s just….fuck. She wants to do a drug test on me.” Mickey said looking away from Fiona     Fiona frowned at Mickey “okay? I mean. So what right? You’re clean right?” Fiona said and Mickey gave her a look “Mickey you’re clean right?” Fiona said again, and when Mickey didn’t answer her Fiona became slightly furious at him “What the fuck Mickey!” She said with some heat in her voice   Mickey shook his head and ran his hand over his face. “No…no I’m not clean.” He said looking away from her and walking towards the window in the sala. He figured she wouldn’t understand….hell no one would understand. If anyone thought that going out at night and being an escort for a living was easy then they were wrong. If anyone thought that going out doing what he did at night and figured he could stay sober, than they were surely fucking wrong as well. Being a single parent, with two jobs and with other responsibilities to his kid wasn’t easy. But Mickey didn’t get high because of being a single parent no…he got would get high because it made it easier to be with his clients at night. Hell he even would drink and get high with Charlie before he fucked him.     Fiona shook her head and stood up from the sofa. She waited for Mickey to turn around and look at her. When he didn’t she broke the silence “Well? You gonna tell me what you’re on? I mean shit Mickey. First the night secret job, now this?” Fiona said     Mickey turned around and looked at her. He crossed his arms again across his chest and leaned against the window. “It’s easy you know?” He said and looked down at the floor “going from client to client, and being able to be mentally all here.” Mickey said pointing to his head “I get high so I don’t feel it. I get high so I still don't end up feeling them on me when I’m done….sometimes when I get home I’ll stay in the shower for hours…(Mickey looked up at Fiona now) For hours washing myself over and over again…. to numb that disgusting feeling I have…that feeling of them being on my skin…..you know it doesn’t happen all the time. Some days I don’t feel like that. So I don’t get high….but then other days I either get high with the client which is easier….Sometimes they’ll give me party favors like E or speed….I haven’t taken speed in a while, but E I mostly take, or I smoke a blunt. Simply shit really, nothing to crazy.” Mickey said and was now looking down at his nails picking at them, his eyes were glassy and he didn’t like talking about feelings and shit, but Fiona wanted to know so he told her. “It helps numb me so I don’t feel. So I can get the job done and go home or go to the next client.” Mickey shrugged his shoulders and looked around the room to focus his attention on something else. Mickey could feel Fiona looking at him.     Fiona was silent and she wanted to cry. It was still too shocking to know and see how her best friend could keep this all to himself. No one to talk to, no one to confide in, no one to go to when things got to rough or out of hand….No. He turned to drugs and god knows what else. She was scared to ask him. “So you know numb pain…you numb your feelings to get through the nights.” Fiona said and Mickey looked up at her and nodded his head. He looked away from her as tear feel over his face. Mickey wiped it off fast and Fiona could tell he was getting uncomfortable. If he was getting like this he would lock himself up in again, and it would be harder for Fiona to get him to open up again.   That’s what Mickey did, that’s what he knew how to do. There was no one to go to, to turn to when he had bad nights, or when he felt utterly distrust and emotionally vulnerable. He would come home from his high. Sometimes it would have faded away, and other times he was still high when he came home. He always went for a shower first after opening Yev’s door to make sure he was okay. He would just stay in the water hoping to clean himself off enough that he would stopped feeling worthless and just be numb. He was getting really good at it.   Fiona went up to Mickey, took his face into her hands and leaned their foreheads together. It was method of her silently telling him, it was okay.  That he was okay, and that everything will be okay.  Mickey closed his eye and smiled. He grabbed Fiona’s wrist and they just stood there for a few minutes. Taking in quiet and silence…   Fiona opened her eyes and Mickey still had his close. She leaned back and Mickey opened his eyes and stood up straight and Fiona smiled at Mickey “I have an idea okay. Don’t worry about the drug test, I got this, we got this.” Fiona said “There’s always a way to fuck the system, and if Frank taught me one good thing, it’s that there’s always loop whole around a problem. Always method to make the system your bitch!” Fiona said while holding Mickeys hands   “Coming from Frank huh? Well its trust. I know there this thing I can drink to flush my system.” Mickey said   “Yeah there’s that, but I got something way more full proof don’t worry.” Fiona said and gave Mickey a grin “Plus right now.” Fiona said and got her phone to call someone “There’s someone who’s dying to see you back at home.” Fiona said and Mickey smiled waiting for the whoever she was calling to pick up the other line “Yeah Jimmy…(Fiona looked at Mickey) Get Yev ready, I’m bring Mickey over. No don’t tell him yet, I want Yev to be surprised. Yeah I know, (Fiona said excitedly) I know he’s gonna fucking flip his shit. Okay…yeah no okay we’ll be there. Once he sees his dad, he’s going to want eat, don’t worry. Yeah…yeah, were going to leave in a few minutes….okay bye. Love you too.” Fiona said   Mickey looked at Fiona with concerned as he overheard the conversation “Yev’s not eating?”   “No…Jimmy said he’s been trying to get him to eat, but with everything going on, he said he barely touched his food. Even at the home he was at they said he barely ate anything.” Fiona said to him and saw Mickeys face fall “Hey but don’t worry okay. I know it’s because he’s probably depressed and misses the shit out of you and is worried okay. So once we go over there and he sees you. Trust me; he’ll be eating like a horse again.” Fiona said   With Fiona’s words, Mickey felt himself calm down, So now all they had to do was go back to the house. “Okay, so let’s get the fuck out of here so I can see my kid.” Mickey said to her and Fiona smiled at him. Mickey somewhat sounded like himself.   “Okay! Let go.” Fiona said and was walking to the door when she stopped all of a sudden and then turned to Mickey. She gave Mickey a surprised face and one that said she was hiding something. “Fuck.” She said   “What? What is it? You forgot something?” Mickey said to her   “Um, well yeah you can say that.” Fiona said and sighed. “I didn’t come here by myself and not with my car.” Fiona said “Ian drove me here, he’s actually down stairs waiting…for both of us actually.”   Mickey looked at Fiona stunned “What? No, no fucking way. I don’t wanna see your fucking brother!” Mickey said “I’ll just take my car.” Mickey said all of sudden   “Mickey you left your car somewhere near a parking lot. Ian had a missing person report on you and your car was spotted far from here. Like really fucking far, I don’t even know how you managed to get home.” Fiona said   Mickey took a few minutes to think about and he remembered. He parked his car near one of the bars and he drank and decided to walk home. “Fuck!” Mickey said and looked at Fiona “I really don’t want do this right now with him Fi, I don’t want talk to him, or look at him.” Mickey said angrily.   “I get that Mickey I do okay. Just you know, get in the car ignore him if you have to. He’s driving anyways so I’ll make sure he doesn’t say anything to you okay. You can get in the backseats if you want and I’ll sit with you if you want.” Fiona said to Mickey.   Mickey was deciding on whether or not he wanted to be in the same air space as Ian. On the upside he was going to see Yevgeny and Fiona was going to be with him. So chances of him wanting to kill Ian in front of his son were slim. But something in Mickey’s mind still kept bothering him…What did Fiona meant about Ian having a reason for doing what he did? Why did Ian do what he did? Was Mickey that really bad of a person? It was revenge it felt like it. But he did over hear Fiona and Ian at the door before she closed it and said she got food.   Fiona confronted Ian about him calling child services on Mickey for revenge. Ian said no that he didn’t call Child services out of revenge on Mickey, but then again Ian didn’t want to explain his action for why he did it either to Fiona. So what the fuck was Mickey supposed to think. All of this was a lot and Mickey didn’t want to think about his shitty situation anymore. All he wanted was to see his son; so for a 10 to 15 minute drive to Fiona’s house. Mickey would bear with Ian being around him. For now that is.   *** To say that the car ride was intense, well that’s bit of an understatement. When Mickey got to the car with Fiona, he didn’t even glance at Ian. All he did was open the door to the back passenger seat and got in. He looked out the window not paying attention to Ian, even though he could feel the other man’s eyes on him.   Fiona knew this was going to be difficult but right now it wasn’t about Mickey and Ian’s problems, well not really in a way. It was about getting back to the house and seeing her nephew smile again, seeing her best friend smile again and just wanting everything to be okay again. Fiona told Ian to just drive and not say anything to Mickey at the moment. She knew and feared that Mickey was in a bad place in his mind, she knew he would flip the fuck out and honestly she didn’t know if she would be able to split a fight between the two men in her life whom she loved and cared for. Be that as it may, right now all she wanted to do was Mickey to Yev and Yev to Mickey.   Ian wanted to say something, anything really to Mickey, but Fiona told him not to, so he didn’t. Didn’t mean that he couldn’t steal looks threw the rear view mirror while he was driving? Mickey was just looking out at the window every now and then. Sometimes he would look at Fiona and Ian saw him hold her hand. Just before they reached Fiona’s house, Ian went ahead and peeked again to see what Mickey was doing. What he saw broke his heart more, and he felt even more guilt then what he already had. Mickey was looking out the window and Ian saw his face was wet. Mickey went to go wipe his eyes and his sweater fell down a bit from his wrist. That was when Ian notice Mickey’s wrist was red with puff marks.  Ian knew that Mickey had marks on his body from the night they slept with one another, he saw them but said nothing. But now they were there again.   Ian kept looking at Mickey and Mickey must have felt him or something because Mickey then turned his view from the window and looked at Ian dead in his eyes. What Ian saw in Mickey’s eyes was something he only saw once before. The look on Mickey face, his eyes…he was lost, scared, hurt, betrayed, but most of all in pain and suffering and that was one look Ian knew all too familiar with. That was a look that Ian knew he was responsible for, and knew that some way he had to try and make things right.   What Mickey was thinking as he looked back at Ian was rage, pain and utter humiliation. He was hurt and pissed the fuck off that he couldn’t look away from Ian. He wanted to jump over his seat and punch the shit out of him. Yell at him; tell him exactly what he felt, and how he made him feel. But Mickey couldn’t, so he just stood there watching Ian.  What he saw in the other man’s eyes were regret and pain. But Mickey couldn’t think of that, no not right now. So he breaks eye contact and looks back outside, hoping and wishing for this car ride to come to an end so he could see his son.   **** When the car stop, Mickey got out the car fast and walked over to Fiona’s front door. He stopped and looked back at her. She ran up the stairs smiled at him, giving him a kiss and then opened the door. Before Mickey steps inside the house he checks himself real quick. He wipes his face with the sleeve of the sweater. He makes sure that he reminds himself to keep it on. He checks his hair and smooths over his shirt and pants. It’s a weird thing really. It’s as if you’re seeing the love of your life for the first time, but yet its child. And you want your child to know, to always know; that no matter what happens, you as the parent are keeping it together. That no matter how much you want to fall apart and give up and be done with everything, you can’t and you won’t. See that’s the thing about being a parent, you always sacrifice for your child, but it’s a sacrifice worth living for. Because as many times as Mickey wanted to fall and has fallen; he won’t and refuse to let Yevgeny see him weak. Mickey has to show Yev that he’s keeping it together, even though deep down inside, he’s crumbling to pieces. But Yev doesn’t have to know that and Yev won’t know that.   So once Mickey looks over himself again, he steps inside the house and he hears Fiona and Jimmy in the kitchen. He walks further into the house and towards the kitchen, passing sala and dining area; he walked through the hallway past the stairs to go upstairs. When he got to the door way if the kitchen he was meet with a view he would always remember. Yev was sitting next to Jimmy smiling while Fiona was behind Jimmy smiling and laughing “Come on little man eat like two bites of the food okay. You’re dads gonna have my ass man.” Jimmy said looking at Yev   Yev shook his head and smiled at Jimmy “Not hungry tio, sorry. Not for that anyways” Yev said pointing to the food on the table, which looked like something wouldn’t have eaten either “But I think I am in the mood for ice cream! Preferably cookie dough chocolate chip ice cream! You know to deal with my grieving.” Yev said casually To Jimmy and Fiona laughed shaking her head.   Mickey shook his head and smiled at how no matter what the circumstances were or what situation he was in; that he would manage to try and con anyone to getting what he wanted. Mickey couldn’t help back to thinking of when Yev was in the hospital and with his little boy charm he managed to get only grape and cherry jello whenever he wanted from the nurse. Mickey had to admit, the kid was a lot like him then he sometimes thought.   “You know?” Mickey said from the door and Yev looked up so fast that Mickey thought he had whiplash “It’s bad to have desert before having something solid in your stomach. Remember that time you had ice cream for breakfast lunch and dinner?” Mickey said smiling at Yev   Yev got off the chair and ran to his dad “DAD! Oh My god Dad!” was all Yev said and Mickey kneeled down to hug him. Yev ran into his dad’s arms and held him so tight that he never wanted to let go of him. Yev decided that right then and there, that where ever he went, college, marriage, shit maybe his honey moon, that his dad was going to be with him all the way.   Yev had missed his dad so much, even though it had only been a few days of not being able to see him, it felt like a fucking life time. That last time he saw his dad he was being pushed up against the wall being held back from going near him. Yev hated it, hated the social work lady, hated Ian, and hated the whole system. But his dad, he had his dad back, so hating everyone can wait till later.    After what seemed like hugging his dad like forever, Yev let go and pulled back and looked at his dad. He looked good and he was happy to see that his dad wasn’t falling apart. He needed to know that his dad was okay. I mean who else is going to take care of dad right? “I missed you dad” Yevgeny said breathless. He had bit of trouble breathing for some reason but didn’t want say anything.   Mickey however noticed, he always noticed everything when it came to Yev. “I missed you too, I love you so much. Little man you okay? You look like you got some trouble breathing?” Mickey said to his son   “It’s nothing, just me running out of breath running to you. But it’s nothing I swear dad. Did titi Fiona get you? Where were you?” Yev said “I tried to call you when I got here but the phone was off”   Mickey felt guilty; he had turned off his phone not wanting to be found “I’m sorry, I had it off. After everything that happened I needed to get my head straight, which I did. So How was the home place they took you to? They treat you okay? Did you eat and sleep fine, did you like have your own bed or what?” Mickey wanted to know everything that happened in the last couple of days. It was as if his life was taken from him and brought back so he wanted to know everything.   Yev smiled and grabbed his dad’s hand and they went to the kitchen table where Jimmy and Fiona sat at silently watching the two Milkovich. “It was okay,” Yev said take a piece of his food and tried to eating it “the one boy, I forgot his name. He tried to push me over, but I didn’t let. And Titi Fiona’s brother Lip said for me to give the foster parents hell, so I did.” Yev said casually. At the same time Mickey looked up at Fiona who smile and shrugged her shoulder shaking her head mouthing to him ‘I don’t know’ Yev was still talking when Mickey looked back at him “and I mean this cool kid Alex, he was nice, like really nice dad. He’s been in there for a long time, he said since he was 10 like me.”   “Oh yeah? How old is this Alex? And is this Alex a girl or boy?” Mickey asked   Yev gave his father face, squinting his eyes at him “Alex is a guy dad, he just turned 17! He’s brother from another mother and father like he said. But he’s really awesome. It’s kind of sad though, his dad was a mean and abusive and his drug addict. His mom well she didn’t get clean so he’s there in that foster home till he’s 18, but he said he’s leave to college instead.”   Mickey nodded his head “that so, making older friends and shit. He didn’t like hurt you anything right?” Mickey was frighten about Yev being in a foster home, many home weren’t nice back then, and Mickey didn’t want Yev to experience what he experienced. He got kicked out of 5 foster homes because he didn’t let anyone walk over him.   “Oh my god dad NO, this wasn’t like it was for you growing up. You and titi Fiona grew up in the dinosaur ages, things have changed dad.” Yev said laughing and Fiona lightly shoved Yev’s arm.   “Were not that old you little shit” Fiona said and went over to the hallway towards the sala. Mickey knew where she was going; he had heard the door shut while Yev was talking to him. He knew Ian was in the house.   “Okay, okay fine. Hey eat some of your food okay and stop playing with it” Mickey told Yev   Yev grunted “But My stomach hurts, and I’m not really hungry dad.” Yev said innocently   Jimmy gave Yev a weird look “Yev you haven’t eaten anything all day really? Plus you complaining that stomach was hurting? Is there anything else hurting?” Jimmy said getting up from his seat and getting in front of Yev and kneeling down “Yev is there anything else hurting you like your joints or something, are you having trouble breathing or anything?” Jimmy asked   Mickey was looking at Jimmy with concern and worry and Yev looked at Jimmy weird and shrugged his shoulders before he answered “Um sometimes my arms and legs hurt, and I just started having trouble breathing. But my stomach has been hurting because you suck at cooking tio.” Yev said and laughed “Like big time suck at it” Yev said laughing   Jimmy scuffled Yevgeny’s hair and stood up and motion for Mickey to come with him outside for a smoke.  “I’ll be right outside okay little man” Mickey said to Yev   “Okay dad” Yev said trying to eat some of his food that was on his plate. He knew his dad would give him shit if he didn’t have anything in his stomach.   Jimmy and Mickey were outside and Jimmy lite a cigarette and offered Mickey but he declined. Jimmy had a look on his face and Mickey knew that look “what’s up Jimmy, tell me?” Mickey heart felt like it was pumping out of his chest.   Jimmy looked over at Mickey and sighed “Look I don’t want you worry okay. But when I did a physically on him a few days ago when all this shit happen, his blood test came back weird. I put in a request in for Chest x-rays but the fucking Technicon fucked up and Yev was already with that social worker lady. When he came in for the examination he refused to have anyone else, but then I got there and I did everything. His right arm was slightly swollen but he said it didn’t hurt him and that he and Liam were rough housing in school earlier that day. So technically he was clear medically wise, but I want to do chest x- ray on him, and blood test again.” Jimmy said smoking the whole cigarette to himself and looked at Mickey   Mickey face was pale and he shook his head “No…no he can’t Jimmy. He was fine everything was fine, he shouldn’t be sick.” Mickey said lowly so Yev didn’t hear them outside on the backyard porch.   “I know Mickey, but-” Jimmy said but Mickey cut him off   “No, okay just no. Not now, not like this. Tomorrow we can take him to the hospital and you can do that examination and everything and we won’t leave until we know everything is good okay? Right?”  Mickey said emotionally trying hard to keep from falling apart right there not too far from where Yev can see him.   “Yeah, no of course man. It’s just I wanted you to know, plus if it is anything bad then…you know what we need to do. And…(Jimmy sigh) yeah.” Jimmy said and looked at Mickey   Mickey nodded his head and walked back inside the house towards Yevgeny. Who was playing with his food and looking up at his dad smiling at him.   *****   Throughout the rest of the day towards the evening Yevgeny was attached to Mickey at the hip. Yev was afraid that if he left to the other room, that his dad would be gone. Mickey didn’t mind it at all, in fact he loved it. They watched TV together, played video game together and spent time reading next each other. Eventually at night Yev fell asleep, on the sofa lying on Mickey. Mickey got up from the sofa and picked Yev up without a problem. He went upstairs caring Yevgeny close in his arms. Mickey laid Yevgeny down on his bed and smiled at his son. He tucked him in and gave him a kiss on his forehead   “I love you” Mickey whispered as he placed another kiss on Yev’s forehead.   Mickey walked out of the bed room just as Fiona was walking out of her room. “He sleeping?” she asked   Mickey nodded his head as he spoke “yeah” He said exhaustedly   “Jimmy told be about what happened early. Don’t worry Mickey okay. I’m sure with what happened this week; he’s just stress you know. Or maybe its bug? I mean I just got over a little cold that was nothing really…are you gonna stay the night?” Fiona said to Mickey   “No yeah…yeah. Ima…I’m just gonna go out real quick and I’ll be right back okay?” Mickey said to Fiona   Fiona looked at Mickey oddly but nodded her yeah “Okay, yeah sure. You have the key and stuff. Just try not to come back to late.” Fiona said smirking at Mickey.   Mickey rolled his eyes and smiled back at Fiona and left.   *****   Ian was walking back to the Fiona’s house from parking his car. After he spoke to Fiona earlier that day, she told him it was best for him to keep his distance, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t come back around. He had to go to work anyways so it was a good thing he wasn’t at Fiona’s house all day any ways. Ian thought it was best to stay at Fiona’s house, since one he thought Mickey wouldn’t be there and he figured that Mickey would be going back to his apartment. He didn’t want to take any chances in bumping into Mickey.  Plus Ian was searching an apartment again, since he knew most likely living across the hall from Mickey would be bad.   Ian was completely lost in his thought, until he heard Fiona’s gate closed and looked up. He saw Mickey leaving but not towards the way to the apartment complex. So where was he going? Ian knew he shouldn’t follow, well apart of him knew that he shouldn’t follow Mickey, but for some reason he felt like he should. So Ian kept a food distance between him and Mickey and followed him as he walked.   ***** Mickey was so lost in his thought that he almost missed Clark Street. He walked up to the gate and picked the lock letting himself in. Once he was inside Mickey started walking towards where he was going.  The road path for when cars drive in were covered in fresh leafs that were falling.  The black road with golden orange and even yellowish leafs on the floor looked beautiful almost. The trees were beautiful as well full of life in a place that didn’t have life. The grass was green, but since it was dark out it looked deep dark green with the light lamps on. Mickey found it to be peaceful oddly, even though he hated this place. This was where she was at, this was where he needed to be right now and talk to her. He needs to visit Svetlana. Going to visit her was something he did often without Yev knowing. He would come in the middle of the night after doing a job and being with one of his clients and would sit and talk.   Only she would understand, only she would get it and no one else would. Going to her Mickey passed this little bridge that Yev found to be interesting. Mickey couldn’t help but smile at that. Mickey kept on walking and then he stopped. He was where he needed to be now, so he walked slowly up to Svetlana and smile down at her as he tilted his head. He put his hands in his pockets and shook his head and sighed….and with that he started to talk to her.   “Hey” Mickey first said “So um…Yev he ah. God that kid is something. Fiona got him, and he’s happy! I left him sleeping so I can’t talk much or stay to long, because he might wake up and get upset….so um like all day we’ve been tided at the hip. You would so love it….”Mickey said and tears started to come down his face   Then Mickey was angry all of a sudden “Fuck You Svetlana! You hear me FUCK YOU!” Mickey said and let out a trembling breath. “You know this is your fault” Mickey said pointing at her “You…you fucking promised me! You promised me and our son that you….(Mickey took a deep breath in and out) you know Some times I wonder how…just fucking how you thought I could do this by myself….Because I fucking can’t okay!” Mickey yelled out “I’m fucking up Lana! I can’t even protect our baby. (Mickey said with tears coming down his face) I fucking let him get taken away by child services, and it was my fault! (Mickey pointed to himself) My fault for wanting to be in love and happy with someone who not only fucked me over royal okay. But looks at me like I’m garbage, because guess what Svet? Huh I am! I am fucking garbage…I mean who would want to be with a male escort right?” Mickey said and wiped his face with both his hands and laughed out loud   “All I do is try, and try and then, once I think I got it? I fuck up….Our son went into the system, and if wasn’t for Fiona and Jimmy I don’t think I would have been able to tuck him in tonight or spend time with him. Or even hold him Lana…I felt like my heart was stabbed into and the blade kept going in deeper and deeper when they took him” Mickey said and stood up form where he was sitting.   “I fucking hate you for leaving us….I fucking hate you for going and not saying goodbye….For thinking it was okay to just go….like who does that right…who leaves there family and not say goodbye…Why did you have to leave me?” Mickey said in a whisper, then he chuckles slightly “Why did you have to leave us….Fuck you okay! You promised me, we made that promise year ago remember?-We said we would never leave each other no matter what Never….So why is it that I’m still fucking here and you aint? Fuck Lana I fucking hate you for breaking my heart…For letting me love when you told me not to…For fuck sacks I hate you so fucking much for leaving me alone with our son…for not being there for his first word, or his first steps, for his first crush, or his first missing tooth, for his first mother’s day, for his first fucking birthday and Christmas, or his first time doing anything!”   Mickey laughed and started to cry again and this time he sobbed and cried “I fucking hate that I can’t hate you, because I love you so much…You were the only person in this world, who looked at me and called my bullshit…the only person to set me right and the only one who would look at me and for the first time in my life when you use to look at me or whenever you did look at me (Mickey sniffed and inhaled and exhaled out) I knew what it meant to be loved…what it meant to feel important to someone…what it meant to feel  needed and wanted, and you were the only person in this world who looked at me like that….Now Yev looks at me like that. He’s got your fucking looks man…Whenever he is mad shit I see you, and when he looks at me I see you. He may look like me, but he’s all you….How did we get stuck with a smart kid huh Lana?....shit I don’t know either…he ah…I need you to know, that Ima try my hardest, just like last time….I love you so much” Mickey said whipped his mouth and looked away up at the sky   “It’s nice out isn’t it…not to cold and not to hot tonight…(Mickey looked down again at Svetlana) You would love it right now….you know in a way, I look at Fiona and she reminds me of you a lot. You would have like her…You probably would have beat the shit of Ian…her brother…I don’t Svetlana…is it wrong to be so angry at him, yet so lost and tired that all I want to do is go to him and beat the shit out of him, but then just…fuck I don’t know., have him hold me...fuckong weird I know.” Mickey said shaking his head “see I’m all sort of fucked up….I but I hate you so much and I love you so much.” Mickey said and was picking at his nails “Why couldn’t it be me instead of you…why couldn’t it be me instead of the people I love…I rather it be me then you or Yev or Fiona….so what the fuck is it about me? Huh ? Does the universe have some sort of plan to like what? Break Me!?” Mickey said and looked up at the sky and yelled “GUESS WHAT UNIVERSE YOU FUCKING WIN…DO YOU HEAR ME YOU FUCKIN… you fucking win” Mickey said lowly more tears came down his face and looked down.   Just then Mickey’s phone went off, it was Fiona texting him asking him if he was okay. He smiled at the text and replied that he was fine and was on his way back to the house. “I ah…I gotta go” Mickey said and wiped the tears off his face again he kneeled on his knees and ran his hands on the tomb stone. He let out a few more tears. ‘Here_lays_Svetlana_Milkovich A_wonderful_best_friend,_a_wife_and_a_mother. May_you_rest_in_peace_always.’     “I have to go back to Yev…I love yah…bye.” Mickey said lowly and got up and walked away from his dead wife, best friend, and the mother of his child. He had job to do and that was to raise Yev and protect him, something Svetlana always told him that they would do.     Mickey thought he was alone, when Mickey entered the cemetery he thought he was alone, but he wasn’t. Ian had gotten to the cemetery following Mickey. He lost him at first and was going to leave, but then he heard yelling and walked over to the sound of Mickey’s voice. When he got there Mickey was talking to a grave. Ian couldn’t really hear what he was saying but he knew it had to be private. So he preferred that he didn’t hear. He was going to leave but then he saw Mickey kneeled down and touched the tombstone and after a few more seconds Mickey got up and left.   Ian decided to go over and see who Mickey was talking to, and once he did his heart sunk at who he realized who Mickey was talking to and why he always got upset or even push Ian away when he asked about his wife. Because that was exactly who Mickey was talking right here. Chapter End Notes so that happened. what you guys think? Soon you guys will find out about Yev and more of Mickey and Svetlana past will be put in like past memory sort of thing. But seriously tell me what yah think and let me know. I love your kudos and comments and of course i'll comment back as always xoxoxoxo ***** What do you think? ***** Chapter Notes So I'm back. lol sorry i've been gone for far to long, but I'm back. started my writing class and works been crazy somewhat. but hey here you guys go. Just to let you know everyone's been asking me about Yev and yes you guys find out in this chapter what is wrong with him. Please also note there are some warnings of child abuse minor and a lot of pain in this chapter. You can say personal experience was put in when it comes to Mickey and his relationship with his parents. but anyways I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please note that yes I have no beta and I will try as much as I can to come back and edit. I love your comments and kudos and the bookmarks you guys have for this story. I love that you guys love it and thank you. It means a lot that your guys are reading it and liking it. I apologize for all the mistakes and errors I have on here. Sorry again. But leave me comment on how you guys like this chapter. Let me know what you guys think. See the end of the chapter for more notes Mickey made his way back to the house, Fiona was in the kitchen cleaning, she smiled at him and told him that Jimmy had to go to the hospital that they called him in. Mickey and her talked briefly and he went upstairs to where Yev was at. Being with Yev was all that Mickey wanted to do right now. Seeing Svetlana always did a number on him, but he never showed it. What he always did just hold Yev and kept him close. Mickey had a lot on his mind, and he was worried about a few things so to speak. He figured going to talk to Lana would sort of help, but it didn’t. Usually it did, but this was different now. Mickey was worried about the drug test for one; Fiona said she had a plan so he trusted her. Secondly he was worried about Yev as well; the last thing he needed was for Yev to get sick. Stress can cause so much shit and Mickey didn’t want to put stress on Yev, even though he felt like he did. This was his mess, he got caught up on wanting to try and have a life and have a little fun with someone In his life. And with someone Yev like to be around. So sue him for wanting to have a sort of type of kind of companionship. But with what happened and with Ian finding out the truth; it was clear that Mickey was destiny to be alone for the rest of his life. At least that’s what he thought and felt. The only person he would have rather hurt him but prayed to the universe it would never happen would be his son.   Which now Mickey felt even more guilty for having things go so far, that Yev got caught in the cross fire. He and Ian were trying whatever the fuck they were trying, and Yev was in the middle. No matter what your child or children should come first, but then again how could he have known that this shit was going to happen? But then again Mickey came back to the same conclusion. His happiness should only be his sons, and call it selfish, call is dumb or call it whatever you want, but Mickey wanted more. And that why he’s in this situation right now; because he wanted more, he wanted to remember what it felt to be loved but another person. And not just by his son only, but to remember what it felt like to be both physically and also emotionally loved in a way that adults should have love.  I guess that wasn’t for him. He saw that now. Plus, he had his answer to the question that he always had in the back of his mind. If Ian found out what he did for a living or what his second job was for income; would he still want him? Would he understand and accept Mickey for doing what he does at night? An escort…he was an escort. The answer to that was pretty clear. ‘No’ Ian wouldn’t want him even if he did want to stop and was going to stop. Ian wouldn’t want anything to do with him. Ian saw Mickey as a used up, disgusting, waste of space, a vile person, who sold his time and body to clients for high priced money. And the fucked up part about this, was that Ian didn’t know why? He most likely probably thought Mickey does it for fun, or is selfish because raising a kid cost so much.   Ian probably thinks Mickey does it because all he wants is money. If only he knew that no! Mickey didn’t want the money…no he needed the money, and it wasn’t for him. Not at all, it was for his son. But now Ian doesn’t have the right to know, nor will he, because how Mickey saw it. Ian Gallagher has no fucking right to look at him wrong or think of him in any way. Because when your parent, you don’t do it for yourself. Not anymore, you do for your child, and what needs to be done in order to protect them and keep them safe and healthy and strong, and much, much more. And well…Ian didn’t get that, and even if he did? Would he truly understand that?   Mickey’s mind was everywhere at this moment, his thoughts were going from thinking of what could have happened, to what is happening now. One thing was for sure, Mickey couldn’t handle if Yev got sick again, but he would for his son. He always did, no matter what. No matter what the universe threw at Yev, Mickey would handle it. Even when he felt like it was too much and he wanted to give up, Mickey didn’t. He could have, but he was a parent. So giving up wasn’t an opinion, and again we go back to the fact that Mickey knows that his needs have to come last, while Yev’s comes first before anyone or anything. And that; that wasn’t selfishness, that was more of the love and sacrifice that Mickey was and is willing to give up for his son. So that his son is always happy and healthy. Mickey didn’t know what was right or wrong when it came to parenting, because he had to do it on his own. But that was okay because it just was. That’s what he told himself always. People intend to forget that being a single parent whether you’re a mom or dad is hard, but you learn as you go.   With that in mind, it leaves Mickey to think of so much. You see they say that a parent’s love is an unbreakable bond, that the love between a parent and a child is the most precious and sensitive thing a parent and a child could have or share. Mickey never had that nor did Svetlana. They didn’t know what it meant to have parents, to feel safe at home or have a home, let alone be loved. Yeah sure you go to place that’s called home as a child, but for them it wasn’t. They didn’t know what it meant to feel protected by a parent, or to rely on a parent. They only knew how to be scared of their parents and didn’t know what it felt like to count on either of their parents. Mickey mother died; even when she was alive she wasn’t much for parenting, and well his dad. His dad was abusive in the most fucked up ways known to be. Svetlana mother was a cruel bitch when she wanted to be. She taught her daughter at a young age to use her body to get what she wanted, she only thought of herself and always told her children especially Svetlana that she wish she never had her. Her father was abusive as well, and when Svetlana was young he sold her to a pimp for a messily $200 bucks.   Mickey could remember the day Svetlana told him the story. Mickey could remember the part when Svetlana told him what hurt her the most; was that when her father and mother got the money for her, they were disappointed because of the amount they got for her. Apparently they were told more, but ended up being screwed in the end.  With that being said; they both didn’t know what it felt to be loved by a parent. Nothing! Not a god damn sort of feeling. And Mickey would be damned if Yev ever felt what he and Svetlana felt growing up.   Mickey brought his mind back to what Jimmy had told him earlier that day. Running more blood test and x-rays wasn’t good. Last thing Mickey needed to handle was that. Even though he knew he could, he wasn’t sure he could this time. But for Yev…yeah, for Yev he would.     Mickey was looking down at Yev lying next to him in bed. Yev was under the sheets and Mickey was laying above it on his side seeing his son sleep. He watched his son sleep peacefully next to him and smiled. Mickey had remembered to bring Yev’s favorite teddy bear with him. The kid will never admitted it, but he loves to sleep with that damn thing. Especially when he was sick, that was favorite thing to have, and he had it since he was a new born. It was a gift Svetlana kind of bought for him when she was working at the diner. (That was how Mickey got his job and why Glen took a bit to favoring him. Even if Glen never said it)    Past_11_½_years_ago   “Mickey look?” Svetlana said she still had her accent but not as thick, she was 5 month pregnant and she was dragging Mickey with her around the baby store.   Mickey looked up at her; she was in black sweat pants, sneakers with a white t- shirt on. She had her jean jacket on that she couldn’t zipper up anymore, but she still loved to wear. What she was holding Mickey saw and raised his eye brows at her. She was holding a brown bear, with light brown eyes and black nose “what? What is it?” he said to her   “This would be good for baby Yevgeny when he comes. Like best friend? See, it’s cute.” She said showing it to him and then putting it close to her heart and smiling at Mickey. “Like me and you.” she said to him laughing   Mickey gave her the finger and shook his head “I told you I don’t want to fucking name him Yevga-whatever the fuck that name is okay?” Mickey said waving his hands in the air   “Well I want to, so we are!” She argued to him in a calmly voice and rolled her eyes   Mickey shook his head “No we’re not!...” Mickey said and was about to walk away from her but then he turned around and looked at her “Wait a minute?” He said looking at her “Did you just call me a fucking teddy bear? (He gave her a questionable look and she smirked at him and shrugged her shoulders) I’m not a fucking teddy bear Svet?” Mickey said to her with no heat behind his voice, but slightly annoyed   Svetlana looked at him and smirked at him. “Yes you are! You are my teddy bear, so shut the fuck up and take the damn compliment. It is not my fault you are comfortable to lay on and squeeze. (Svetlana then squeezed his arms at the same time) Me and baby like it, plus I know you like it.” Svetlana said walking over to look at a more baby clothes.   Mickey looked at her and raised his left eyebrow at her. “No, no I don’t” Mickey said slightly annoyed and crossed his arms against his chest and looked over at Svetlana again.   “Yes, yes you do.” (Svetlana said trying to mock Mickey) “And we name him Yevgeny. I like name.” Svetlana said again   Mickey looked at her like she was crazy “Wasn’t that like, your father’s name, or some shit?” Mickey asked her   “Yes. But it was also my brother name as well, and I like my brother. Good way to remember brother. Not his fault my father was piece of shit and my brother died.” Svetlana said slightly firmly yet with no heat behind her voice.   Mickey sighed and looked away “look can’t we like, I don’t know. Talk about it other opinions….Please?” Mickey said to her. He never said please to no one, or was gentle to no one but her, so she nodded her head and continued shopping.   When they got to the checkout line there wasn’t enough money for everything. Svetlana pouted but started to pull a few things out. She looked at the teddy bear and put it to the side. Mickey felt bad, because she really loved that thing for some reason. They went home and unpacked the things for the baby and put them away. Svetlana had to go to work that evening at the diner (Apparently she got more tips being that everyone figured she was a single parent) and Mickey had to go do a drop and get some cash for it. Transporting drugs wasn’t the best thing, but he didn’t find a job yet. He just got his GED, but it was still hard to find a job. So he did what he could. It wasn’t the best, but it was something. It was just to save up and try to get him, Svet and the kid out of that fucking house.   Since the drop was a 1, 2, 3 thing, Mickey was home early. He went into the room and started putting clothes in the laundry. It was then that he came across a photo that was in Svetlana’s pocket that fell out and Mickey picked it up. The picture was of Svetlana when she was younger, and a boy, he flipped the picture around it had writing in the back “ya I mladshiy brat” Mickey knew it had to be Svetlana and her brother. The word “ya” and “brat” he knew, his Russian wasn’t the best. In the picture was Svetlana and him, and they were holding a bear, the same one that looked a lot like the one she was holding today in the baby store. Mickey looked at the time and looked back at the picture. He dropped what he was doing and left the house.   That night when Svetlana got home and she was tired, but she was determined to work until she couldn’t. Being pregnant and 5 months at that wasn’t the best, but it was worth it, even with her taking college classes and having her legal status being questioned things were okay. That’s how she felt them to be anyways. Her and Mickey needed to save up all the money they could for the baby.   Svetlana was home alone and that was because Mickey had text her earlier tell her that he was going out to the bar. Most likely to go pick someone up and enjoy his night. She smiled at that, because she knew she would get details on whether the guy Mickey hooked up with was a good lay or not.   She laughed to herself while she walked into the bedroom. She sat on the bed and kicked off her sneakers and slouched a bit. She leaned back to lays down on the bed, but was stopped when something caught her eyes. She looked to her right and saw the same teddy bear she had seen at the baby store earlier that day. Svetlana sat up the best she could and leaned over to the pillow to grab the bear. With the bear was a note.   I knew you really wanted this thing when you saw this. So here you fucking go. And plus I guess the little man in will love it too when he gets out, because you love it. And okay I also think it’s kind of nice so here you go. And don't fucking mention shit okay. Love you. Ps don’t get fucking emotional and shit okay. P.s.s. I left you favorite snacks inside the top draw. And don’t wait up Svet. Might have a long night ;)   Smiling brightly, Svetlana put the note on top of the dresser and smiled at the bear. She hugged it close to her heart and let a few tears come out. Because even thought things weren’t the best, her best friend always managed to do things that made it best for her. Part of the bear smelled like Mickey’s cologne and that made Svetlana smile even more.   That night, Mickey came home and went straight to the bathroom to clean up. When he got out the shower he went to go check on Svetlana before he went into his bedroom. Recently she wanted him to sleep with her in the same bed. Mickey had joked around saying ‘that’s how we got into this fucking situation, you know that right?’ To which Svetlana shrug her shoulders and have a comeback of ‘oh shut the fuck up. You were horny, I was horny. Who better to sleep with other then best friend, instead of waiting for fuck buddy to arrive? Plus baby is good thing, yes? So shut up.’ Svetlana always managed to have a comeback for Mickey and he both hated it and loved it. Ever since they were kids, she did that shit. But lately she was emotional and scared. Terry had been locked up for 3 in a half month now and wasn’t getting out no time soon.   So when Mickey walked into Svetlana’s room, he wasn’t surprise to see her still up, reading something for school he assumed. She smiled and looked up at him, hugging the bear he bought for her earlier for the baby.   “You home? How was mystery man? Was he good or bad?” she asked Mickey   Mickey rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders “He was alright, but the fucker talked too much. Completely fucked up my mood; what’d you do all night after you got home?” Mickey asked her going around the bed to lay down right next to her like he always did. Ever since they were kids Svetlana laid on the left side of the bed and he laid on the right.   Svetlana closed her book and put it on top of the dresser “Nothing, came home, ate dinner at the diner and then I read note and saw the bear you got for us. Which by the way thank you. (Mickey rolled his eyes but smiled at her) and I’m just here reading waiting for you.”   “I told yah ass not to fucking wait up.” Mickey said to her with no heat behind his voice   Svetlana smacked him in his arm and rolled over on her side to look at Mickey now “I wanted to and I could not sleep…..I was hoping you sleep with me again?” She asked innocently   Mickey sighed and nodded his head at her “Fine. Come here.” He said and Svetlana moved over to lay on top of Mickey’s chest and smiled She looked up at him and he looked down at her and smiled back. They gave each other a kiss good night and Mickey just held onto Svetlana as he thought she was asleep.   “…….see? you are like teddy bear.” She said hugging Mickey who sighed and snort “Comfortable and lovable….cute even.”   Mickey shook his head and chuckled “I’m not fucking cute…bitch.” He mumbled and Svetlana laughed at his responds. And with that they fell asleep.   Present_day.   Mickey sighed and got up from the bed. He swiped the silent tears he head on his face and laughed to himself. He remembers that day and night like it was yesterday. Since that night, he and Svetlana slept in the same bed. Whether it was in his bedroom or hers, and she slept with that damn Teddy bear as well every night. Mickey looked over at Yev who was still sleeping peacefully. Mickey walked out of the room, leaving the door open and went down stairs to go get some fresh air. He fucking needed it now.   As soon as Mickey reached down stairs he went to the back door of the house and opened the door. He stood outside and looked on as the rain came down from the sky. It was cloudy and the sky was dark, and it was a bit cold and Mickey loved it. The rain that is, it brought back good and bad memories.     Past_Memory   Mickey was running, running as far as he could as fast as he can. His father had just beaten the shit of out of him pretty bad. His face was burning from the slap he got across his face. His arms hurt from the way Terry was holding him and twisting it, his ribs were bruised from the punches and kicks he received over and over again.  Mickey ran as the rain started to come down now. Mickey ran until he couldn’t anymore, he stopped at the baseball field. He walked inside of the field and just kept walking into the middle of the field. He was soaked and wet as the rain came down more harder. He lifted his head up to the sky and closed his eyes. It was then he let the tears fall out of his eyes.  Mickey looked around where he was at and there was no one around.  So he cried, and he cried as the rain came down on him. No one can tell if you’re crying when it’s raining. That’s why he always loved the rain, it was a mask of all mask for him. He cried as the rain came down, and he couldn’t help of think of how it was so much like him. The sky was crying and so was he.   Present time   Mickey walked out into the rain and let the water from the sky hit him. As the rain continued to pour down, Mickey began to let his tears fall right out like he always did when it rained. He was drenched now and the rain started to die down. His eyes were puffy and glassy, but if you asked him, he would blame it on the rain. You know the water getting in your eyes and making it irate them. In rain he stood there and let his tears fall. He was tired, he was angry, he was hurt, but most of all he was lost. Lost in trying to find what is right and wrong. Trying to be a good dad and he felt like he failed. Maybe Ian was right? Maybe he was a bad dad, maybe Fiona was just friends with him because she felt bad for him. Maybe he did deserve everything he got. With that in his mind, Mickey made his way back into Fiona’s house. He didn’t want her waking up and coming down to find him in the rain like that. She would say that he was trying to catch a fucking cold, or some shit.   Mickey walked in the house and removed his soaked sneakers and socks. He then took off his pants and shirt and put them in the dryer. He went to his bag and took out his pajama pants and put them on. As he was looking for his wife beater shirt to put on and go to bed, the front door to the kitchen opened up and he looked up to another person soaked from head to toe just like him.   *   Ian had been having a hard day; he couldn’t really concentrate at work or anything really. He was just fucked up not know what to do or what to think. Fiona got mad at him and he understood why, he really did. Yevgeny hated him, shit even his siblings things he’s fucked up. But no one knew about his past and the time he spent in New York. No one except Lip and even then Lip did even know much of what Ian was hiding.    It started to rain hard and Ian decided to park his car and get out and walk in the rain. It was something he did often when he needed to clear his mind. He would cry too sometimes in the rain. When things got rough he would just cry. The rain can mask anything he always thought, but now he only let out a few tears, because now he didn’t know what the fuck to do. The rain started to come down even harder and Ian was now standing in front of his sister’s house. He was sure that Mickey was there and he knew Yev was. Right now he felt like shit and didn’t know what to do; the past was too hard to bring up, but then again his situation with Mickey was just crazy as fuck. What is a guy supposed to do, or feel or think about the guy he’s been seeing is an escort. He single dad who’s an escort….who after he slept with, went out and slept with clients after him….who was a good dad apparently. And who was Ian kidding; Mickey was a good dad, better than his. And Ian knew, he knew he fucked up. He knew once he made that call, he knew he made a mistake. But some mistakes you can’t take back, and even if you do or you can. The hardest part isn’t admitting your mistake but it’s fixing your mistake and making things right.    So now Ian was standing in front of his sister’s house deciding on whether or not it would be a good thing to go in. Maybe he could finally speak to Mickey, or maybe if Fiona was up he could talk to her and explain to her what he couldn’t explain earlier that day. “fuck it.” Ian said and opened the door. He was soaked from head to toe and needed to get out of these clothes. He toed off his work shoes and walked over to the kitchen to go put his soaked clothes in the dryer. What he didn’t expect was for someone to be up as well in the kitchen.   Mickey looked up at Ian and Ian looked up at Mickey. Neither one of them knew what to say to each other, but Mickey didn’t want to be anywhere near Ian. Ian felt the tension in the room and moved to the laundry room to remove his clothes, but before he could get there Mickey spoke   “You’re wet.” Mickey said   “Yeah…decided to take a walk in the rain. Helps me think something, or whenever. I just want to like walk in it…no one can ever tell if…” Ian said not being able to look at Mickey   “…..yeah I can see that?” Mickey said moving to a way to go upstairs but was stopped   “Mickey?” Ian said and Mickey stopped and turned around and looked at Ian waiting for a responds. Fiona said he needed to speak to Mickey, try and work things out. His sister best friend, someone she loved very much. But Ian didn’t know what the fuck to say. So he said the first thing that came out of his mouth “I’m sorry.” Ian said and Mickey turned around to look at him   Mickey chuckled bitterly at Ian and looked at him with a glare of pain and sadness mixed in “You’re sorry” Mickey said in a whisper still chuckling “No Ian….no don’t be fucking sorry. No you know what? I don’t fucking care okay? I don’t want your fucking pity or any kind of fucking sympathy or your fucking sorry’s okay!” Mickey said slightly weakly at the end he was pissed and he needed to let out his angry, his emotions, that hurt, his pain. “What I need from you; is act like you never knew me, or my son… What I need from you is to fucking leave me and mines alone. Don’t look me, don’t acknowledge, don’t even fucking think about me….” Mickey said and was about to leave the kitchen but turned around and looked up at Ian and said “Why? Huh ? Why would you be sorry anyway? I’m just a no good fucking father who’s a whore right?” Mickey said looking at Ian. “Why would care now? You already took the one thing I love most in this world away from me! Congradufuckinglations Ian!” Mickey voice was higher than normal “And now I have to fight to get him back. (Mickey said looking Ian dead in the eyes and not breaking eye contact as he step away from the kitchen door and made a few steps towards Ian) But that’s okay….Because I know I’m good father, I know that little boy up there loves me and not you any fucking body! Not the system, not this fucking universe or whoever and sure as hell not that fucking social worker bitch can take that away from me!” Mickey said   Ian was silent and looked back at Mickey not knowing what to say or if he could say anything to him that would make this whole situation okay, or even slightly okay. Ian nodded his head and put his head down in shame   “Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you fucking dare feel sorry for me! Or even look down at me! You choose to call them on me. Lied about me, then fucking have the nerves to what? Huh!? Think you can make shit better by telling them it was a mistake, or even think you can just what Ian? Say you’re sorry to me!” Mickey said “Fix this?” Mickey said   “I know and I am sorry Mickey okay.” Ian said weakly “I just…I didn’t think and-   “No you didn’t fucking think. And now I have to make sure my son is okay from all this shit, on top of all the other shit he has to deal with!” Mickey shouted at Ian   “And I’m sorry Mickey…I really am okay. I just….fuck I just don’t know. It’s like I didn’t mean to call them and for shit to get out of control….I didn’t think they would take Yev away like that. I didn’t think at all okay. But when I saw everything before and I caught you and then I knew Yev was being left home alone and then I saw the bruises on his arm, I didn’t think they were from him and Liam rough housing or him just being a kid and all or from him just having accidents and getting easily bruised. I thought some else okay? I didn’t think I didn’t know what to do okay?” Ian said weakly to him   “You didn’t think?” Mickey asked “you didn’t think to ‘oh hey why don’t I just ask Mickey’ huh? No better yet you saw rage…you fucking saw a way to hurt me and then you just decided ‘ha, I know how to hurt him?” Mickey said bitterly. “Was that why you wanted me to go to your house that day? I mean you already fucking hurt my feelings that day, but I guess you wanted to rub it in really good and thought it would be okay to call child services on me after confronting me right? But it’s okay….because you know what Ian? You managed to break me.” Mickey said nodding his head looking at Ian “You managed to hurt me in the most fucked up way not even my own fucking piece of shit of a farther could do….” And know Mickey became more emotional then. He really didn’t want to show Ian, but he couldn’t hold it in anymore and a few tears came down his face “You managed to have someone I love taken away from me…my child…he’s my everything and I might lose him because of you…And you want to say you’re sorry and what? Want me to forgive you?” Mickey said lowly to him “Ian…If I lose my son…If I never get to take him home….I will never ever in this fucking life time or in the next life time forgive you. I will literally walk by you on the street and never acknowledge you. Not even if you were dying and begging for help. Not even if your life depended on it, because as I see it Ian….my life is my son, and you just took my life away from me not caring….So why should I right?” Mickey said and slowly walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs to his son. Mickey reached the room and walked over to a sleeping Yevgeny and lied down with him and held him close trying hard not to let more tears come down his face. ** Ian was left in the kitchen standing alone in the dark. His eyes stung and his heart hurt. The pain that was shooting in his chest was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Not since the girls, not since New York. Ian then stripped off his clothes and put them in the hamper, he walked over into the downstairs closet and got out some clothes and put them on. Ian just stood in the dark for a few moments when he heard someone come down stairs.  He turned around and saw it was Fiona with her arms crossed against her chest looking at her little brother was sad eyes   “Wanna talk about it?” Fiona asked him   Ian just shrugged his shoulders in responds and leaned against the kitchen counters looking outside the window. He felt Fiona come up behind him and wrap her arms around him   “I heard the commotion down stairs…I see you tried to talk to him. At least he told you how he felt.” Fiona said “I’ve known Mickey for a long time Ian…sometimes his angry gets the best of him and he says things he doesn’t mean.” Fiona said and paused with Ian gave her a face “Yeah I know. For Mickey though? When does he every tell anyone that they hurt him?” Fiona said shaking her head “Nah he doesn’t do that, he never tells anyone that. Except for me, which means what he said is true, but that’s only if Yev is taken away permanently….see that little boy is his life….,but the thing is Ian, he won’t forgive you easily, but with time he will.” Fiona said   Ian shook his head “I don’t know Fi…the way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me. I can’t blame him for hating me….I mean what if he doesn’t get Yev back? It’s my fault because I didn’t think. I didn’t think that it would affect Yev so much…..I didn’t think that they would take him away like that. I didn’t fucking think at all now did I? I’m a fucking cop and I should have known better. I thought I was doing the right thing, I didn’t think of anything but…” Ian said looking at his sister now. He then turned away from her gaze and spoke after a few moments “They never took away Lilly or Grace, they just kept them there, and I thought that maybe yeah you know? It would scare him into stopping what he was doing. That maybe he would understand that you can’t just leave your kids alone like that, and when I saw the bruise on Yev I was like….I can’t let this happen again? He would deny it and then it would happen again…” Ian said trying to hold back tears   “You can’t do that to them because then one day their fine and then the next day you’re holding their lifeless body in your hands trying so hard to do CPR but it’s not working Fiona…..(Ian was now spaced out talking) It’s not working there not coming back.” Ian said shaking his head firmly “As much as you try and try hard to bring them back, but there little bodies are already cold….and you call for back up….you call, and y-you try to warm their bodies up with your jacket and try to give them CPR over and over again because you promised them that you would get them out… T-That you…(Ian huffed out) you would protect them and make sure they were safe and had a better home…..because you promise them. (Ian had tears coming out of his eyes as he was remembering the flash back) You promised them that they would be safe…that no one would hurt them again….(there was a long silence as tears quietly came out of Ian’s eyes) that they would live a better life.” Ian said and chocked at the end and began to cry as he placed his hands to his face   Fiona then grabbed her brother and hugged him hard baring his face in her neck as he cried hard holding on to her for dear life.  And of course it was then that Fiona knew, she knew he brother experienced something that brought this on. But how could anyone know if Ian never opened up to anyone about anything. “It’s gonna be okay…trust me okay. Mickey would never do that to Yev, I promise you Ian.” Fiona said holding him close not letting him go. “Give him time, give him all the time he needs and Ian.” Fiona said pulling him back so he could look at her “You need to explain to him why? To me and to him when you’re ready; because Ian from the sound of it, it seems you thought you were doing what was best for Yev, but didn’t know. Whoever you were talking about? This Lilly and Grace are not Yev, and they’re not Mickey Ian.” Fiona said to him and Ian nodded his head and leaned against his sister still hugging her. “We have to help Mickey okay…I know it’s not much, but helping can be a start.” Fiona said to Ian   Fiona hugged Ian until she knew he had calmed down. She pulled back and looked at her baby brother face and wiped the tears that had fallen. “Go to bed pumpkin. You look exhausted.” She said and Ian nodded his head up and down and went into the bedroom on the first floor of the house. Fiona sighed and walked over to the sink; she took a cup from the cabinet and got herself some water. She looked outside as the rain was coming down and felt a cold chill rush through her body. Fiona knows something was going to happen. In her gut she had a strong feeling that something bad was going to happen. Sometimes these feelings were on key point and other times it was just her nerves working her. She pushed that feeling a way and went to go make her way to her room when she stopped suddenly and saw Mickey at the bottom of the staircase looking at her. And to her, he looked lost, hurt and angry, pissed off and downright conflicted with emotions.   “How come you’re not sleeping?” Mickey asked her   Fiona sighed and looked at Mickey “Heard the commotion down here and decided I check it out. You know, make sure you guys didn’t try and kill each other.” Fiona try to say with some humor but with no avail did Mickey react to it like he normally would.   Mickey shrugged his shoulders in response not looking at her. Mickey didn’t want to look at Fiona, not in her eyes anyways, he himself felt guilty for everything, for not telling Fiona, for lying to herm, for making her worry and scared, for not trusting her with the truth when he knew he could have. But not many people in Mickey’s life stood around. They either left him, hurt him, or he pushed them away on purpose so he wouldn’t get hurt.  Mickey even felt guilty for her loving him, because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. Fiona must have known what Mickey was thinking because she went up to him and smacked him lightly on the back of his head and smiled at him “Stop thinking stupid shit will you” She said to him   “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about?” Mickey said to her tiredly with not heat behind his voice   Fiona raised her eye brows at him and cross her arms across her chest “Yes you do….You wanna talk about it?” Fiona asked him   Mickey shook his head and looked away “Not really.” He mumbled and went and got the chair from the table and brought it to the back door of the house that lead to the outside back yard. He sat on the chair looking outside seeing the sky light up from the lightening. “Can’t sleep much.” Was all he said   Fiona walked over to the counter next to the door and sat up on it looking at him. “You know…the first time I met you I thought ‘wow. That guy is hot.’(Fiona laughed and Mickey shook his head and she notice he had a small smile on his face, but he still didn’t look over at her) then I find out you were gay and then bam! Deal breaker right?” Fiona said and Mickey looked over at her, but not directly at her. Fiona jumped off the counter and grabbed his face and made him look at her “I love you. I don’t care what you say, or how you feel, I love you…..You have been there for me through so much, and have helped me. So right now I need you to believe that. I need you not to feel bad about not telling me about you being an escort, or about what happened to you. I need you to believe that I love you no matter what. I need you to believe that Mick. Because Mickey, I love you no matter what, and I aint kicking you out of my life because you sleep with men for a living. I aint leaving you, and I don’t see you as anything less do you hear me.” Fiona said firmly to him not taking her eyes off Mickey   Mickey looked at her for a second, his eye were glassy and he had so much emotion in he. He nodded his head at her in response and she released her hands from his face and grabbed a chair and sat next to him. “I overheard you and Ian talking….You must think I’m fucked up for going off on him.” Mickey said to her   Fiona shook her head “No, no I don’t think you were wrong. You have every right to be angry at him.” Fiona said   Mickey nodded at her and opened his mouth to say something but closed it. After a few minutes past by he spoke softly “I want to believe him…I want believe him that he didn’t mean it or didn’t think and he’s sorry….but Fi I can’t.” Mickey said and looked over at Fiona was so much emotions in his eyes “I can’t bring myself to hate him thought and I don’t get it. I hate him, but then I don’t. I don’t fucking get it….how do you try to forgive someone who took away the one thing in your life that matters….The one thing in your life that makes so much meaning….the one thing I have left. It’s like he took my life without even thinking and now he regrets it and it hurts so much.” Mickey said put the heel of the palms of his to his eyes and squeezed his eyes tight   Fiona leaned over and hugged Mickey tightly, as if to tell him she was there and it would be okay. Without saying a word they both stood there and walked the rain fall outside before retreating to bed. Tomorrow was going to be one hell of a day. But right now all Mickey wanted to do was spend tomorrow with Yevgeny all day and make sure his son was okay.   *********   The next day the house was tense slightly, Ian could hear Fiona, Liam, Mickey and Yev in the kitchen. He wasn’t going to come out and go out to them. He didn’t really want to deal with the tension that was already there. Plus not to mention last night was still real in his head as to everything that was said. Ian decided it was best to stay mostly in the guess bedroom down stairs today. It was his day off and he just wanted to be near his family, but it was hard because Mickey was there and so was Yev. It didn’t bother him that they were there, what bothered him was the cause of events of them hating him.   Ian knew he was going to have to somehow or some way make it up to Mickey and Yev. Even if they wouldn’t be together, Ian couldn’t live with Mickey hating him. Last night’s events proved that the man he was falling in love with hated him. In fact Mickey described in detail if Ian’s life depended on it, Mickey wouldn’t care and walk past him like he was nothing. And that right there hurt like a bitch. The damage he caused Mickey and Yev was one thing he didn’t want to do. He just didn’t know what to do anymore. Keeping his distance was something he just knew he had to do.   *** In the meanwhile as Ian stood in the room Fiona was busy making breakfast for everyone. She had a feeling Ian wasn’t going to come out, not right now anyways. She got up earlier despite her being exhausted she had to make breakfast. Jimmy started an early shift at the hospital and was going to do a double. Debbie was schedule to be volunteering at the hospital and would be working in the pediatric ward with Jimmy and a few other doctors and nurses. She was schedule to be there this afternoon. Carl was being Carl and busy trying to teach Liam and Yev how to mess with a butterfly knife, which Mickey took from him and slapped him over the head. Then he proceeded to show the boys how to really mess with one.   Fiona looked at him and gave him a look as he gave her an innocent smile and pocketed the knife. When she wasn’t looking he took back out and showed Yev and Liam and even Carl how to mess with it. When breakfast was done everyone was eating laughing. Fiona disappeared to give Ian a plate of food and she came back to the table. Yev was messing with his food and not really eating it. He took a few bites here and there, but his appetite was getting worse and Mickey noticed it automatically.   “Yev eat” Mickey said to him   “I am I am…….Sheesh. Parents.” Yev said smiling at Mickey who smiled back at him and stuck his tongue out at his son   “Yeah I know. Tell me about it. Fiona always like ‘eat your vegetables Liam, or Liam! I swear if you don’t eat your vegetables no snack’ I mean come on! Who does that?” Liam said raising his hands in the air “Who takes away snacks. Isn’t that like bad parenting or something? Or like pain and suffering?” Liam said looking at Yev   Yev shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know. I eat my veggs.” Yev said to Liam then he whispered to him “plus half the time, me and you dump them in our cups so we don’t have to eat it.” Yev said and then spoke loudly “I mean I usually eat yours, so why are you complaining about?”   Liam squinted his eyes at his best friend/brother from another mother and father and smiled “Because Yev, See. I feel as a young man in this world” (Fiona had to turn around for this. She looked at her little brother and placed her right hand on his hip and rolled her eyes at him and shook her head as he spoke) I feel that I should have a decision on whether or not I should eat healthy. I mean I am healthy okay. Plus it’s just wrong that broccoli is green and has no taste. I mean come on! That’s some freaky stuff right there. And Carrots, I mean what thing comes from the ground and is orange!?  Orange! And is healthy?” Liam said and pointed at Yev and then Fiona saying “I mean can you explain that to me? Because at least I know where ice cream and candy comes from.” Liam said and made a gesture with his hand “That I can eat and have a peace of mind” He said smiling at Fiona   Fiona smiled back at him and nodded her “Okay…okay I see your point. Buuuut you see. I call all the shots here. Mickey calls all the shots with Yev and even you if he watches you when he can.” Fiona said and pointed at herself and waved towards Mickey and spoke “We” she said waving between her and Mickey “Are the adult, while as you two little pain in our asses.” Fiona motions to them and Mickey nodded his head smiling at them because he knew what was coming next “Are our kids. See we make the rule and you follow them. And do you want to know why?” Fiona said to them more rather than in a form of a question and smiled at them   Liam looked at her and rolled his eyes because he really didn’t want to know why. While Yev pursed his lips up to the side and sighed. Both boys looked at each other and said at the same time “Why?”   Mickey then looked at Fiona and Fiona looked at Mickey and waved for him to finish it off “Because we fucking say so. Get use to it, and if you haven’t now then you fucking should.” Mickey said bring over his dishes to sink and Fiona picked up her coffee mug and raised it up at the boys and smiled while drank it.   Yev looked at Liam and tilted his head to the side and squinted his eyes slightly “How did this go from something simple to this?”   Liam looked at Yev and shook his head. “Man I don’t know…but there good. They shut us down hard.” Liam said   “Yeah” Yev said and continued to try eat his breakfast little by little.  Mickey noticed Yev was barely eating and trying to force the food down.   Mickey sighed and sat next to Yevgeny and just as he was about to say something the doorbell rang, which caught everyone’s attention. Fiona had left to go answer the door. Mickey overheard Fiona talking to someone at the door and with one moment Fiona was back inside the kitchen with the person she was talking to.   Mickey looked up from where he was sitting at with Yev and saw Fiona walk in with Ms. Veronica Bane the social worker. Mickey got an uneasy feeling in his gut and Yev turned around to see who his dad was looking at. To say that Yev was upset was an understatement. He simply glared at the social worker and looked back at his dad with fear in his eyes. Mickey rubbed Yevgeny’s back and tried to comfort him the best way he knew how to.   “Good morning Yevgeny and good morning Mr. Milkovich. (Mickey nodded his head at her) It’s a pleasure to see you here. Mrs. Gallagher just informed me you were here, which I think is a good thing.” Ms. Veronica Bane said   “You do?” Mickey said   “Yes, in fact it gives us a chance to sit and talk as well as do other things that we need to do in order to speed the process along, so that Yevgeny can go back home to you.” She simply said and walked more into the kitchen   “Liam. Why don’t you and Yev go to your room while I, Ms. Veronica Bane and Mickey talk yeah?” Fiona said to Liam and the way she said it, Liam knew she wasn’t joking around.   Liam and Yevgeny got up from the table and made their way to the bedroom upstairs. As soon as the kids were out of sight the adults were able to talk.   “So this is the surprise visit I’m assuming.” Fiona said   “Yes.” Veronica said “Mandatory as you know. I just have to look around, make sure the house is safe, and then make sure you have food and all the essentials as well. I got all the paper work for the up to date physicals you and your siblings and husband have. Everything is good.” She said to Fiona and then she looked at Mickey “Mr. Milkovich I will be visiting your home as well. Maybe tomorrow or the day after, but this week as well, and since you’re here, I think its best we do the piss test as well. Being that you’re here I don’t see it to be a bad thing. The sooner we get all the paper work in order with the visits and checkups. The sooner Yev and you can have your life back.” Veronica simply said to Mickey and took out her note pad and looked up at Mickey and Fiona   Fiona and Mickey looked at each other. Mickey was slightly freaking out and Fiona was nervous as well. Jimmy was supposed to piss in the cup for Mickey and give it to him. The plan was for Jimmy to pee into the cup and keep it at room temperature. Either keep the urine inside a thermos cup container so that it would stay warm, or old fashion way, which meant putting it in a balloon and having Mickey strap or tie the balloon to his underwear. It would be tricky, but it was the best thing she can think of. So that when Mickey went to use the bathroom all he had to do was pretend to pee in the cup and give Veronica the urine.  And that was the plan.   Fiona and Mickey both had thought about having Mickey clean his system out by drinking a flush, but when dealing with social services.  They both knew they can show up at any time and using the flush you needed at least 24 hours for it to completely work and your body to be complete flushed of any substance.  Jimmy was supposed to be home today, but got called in at the last minute and now they were fucked. Carl had just left, and Fiona knew her little brother had to be smoking. Even though she never caught him, she had her suspicions, and calling in Lip was out of the question. Him being a lawyer she didn’t want to jeopardies anything. Then there was Ian. IAN! But with what happened and everything, Fiona didn’t know if she could rely on Ian at the moment to not turn his head the other way and do this favor for Mickey.   Ms. Veronica Bane was walking around the house with Fiona all the while as she was talking to her. Mickey was left in the kitchen pacing biting his nails. He was nervous, he tried to call Jimmy, but he wasn’t answering the phone. He called Debbie who was working at the hospital with Jimmy in the pediatric ward   “Hello Mickey?” Debbie said over the phone   “Debbie? Thank fuck. Where is Jimmy?” Mickey asked   “He’s in surgery, with one of his patient. There was an emergency. Why what happened? Is Fiona okay?” Debbie asked   “No, no she fine….fuck. Fuck okay. Just um. When he gets out of whatever the fuck, just tell him to call Fi okay?” Mickey said   “okay? Is everything okay though, you sound-“Debbie said, but Mickey cut her off   “Like I’m freaking the fuck out? Yeah just a bit.” Mickey said and sighed “look, don’t worry about it okay. I’m fine. Just go back to work.”   “Okay see yah at home. Bye” Debbie said hesitantly   “Yeah…bye” Mickey said and hung up the phone.   Just as Mickey hung up the phone Fiona and Ms. Veronica Bane came back into the kitchen. Fiona looked up at Mickey nervous and Mickey looked up at and gave her a small smile. She tried, and he knew she did. Fiona had showed Ms. Bane the whole house, and was trying to distract her long enough for Mickey to call Jimmy and get in contact with him to come home fast.  Fiona looked at him as if secretly asking him if he got through to Jimmy and Mickey shook his head no and gave her that same small smile he always gave her.   Just then both adults were broken out of there silent conversation by Ms. Bane “Mr. Milkovich if you can I need you to piss in this cup. I need you to wash your hands before and make sure nothing gets inside of it. No water of the sort. Then put it in this bag for me when you are done.” Ms. Bane said to Mickey who took the cup with the bag with him to the bathroom upstairs.   Fiona and Veronica followed Mickey upstairs. Ms. Bane had to make sure he was alone in the bathroom at all times. She went into the bathroom and looked around making sure no one was in the bathroom before letting Mickey inside the bathroom. As she walked out the bathroom she nodded for Mickey to go in and he did.   Fiona and Ms. Bane were talking when they heard a loud sound come from the boy’s room. Yev ran out of the room and so did Liam. Both boys were covered in some form of goo foam type thing.   “What the fuck?” Fiona said looking at both Yev and Liam. Mickey placed the cup he’s supposed to pee in down at the sink and stepped out of the bathroom and looked at both boys and also said “what the fuck you guys? What is that shit?” he asked   “Me and Liam were playing around with some dish washing soap, hydrogen peroxide, and saturated potassium iodide.” Yev simply said   Mickey looked at his son and dropped his mouth “Yevgeny who many times have I told you not to do that experiment in the house?”   Yev shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know…like a lot.” Yev said to his dad innocently “but it was for Liam’s volcano project. We couldn’t just use simply baking soda and peroxide dad. He needs to win the science fair contest.  I showed him the experiment we did.” Yev said   “It was epic! Fiona you had to see it! Look I even took a video of it!” Liam said and began to show her   Fiona sighed and Ms. Bane looked amused at the whole thing. Mickey was simply shaking his head at both boys as they were describing what they did. Mickey knew the experiment because Svetlana showed it to him years ago and he showed it to Yev. Yev won first place at the science fair when he was 7 and it was the best day ever. But now… well now the boys looked like they came out of the fucking washing machine and were covered in the foam from head to toe.   “You kids are fucking crazy you know that?” Mickey said and looking at Yev and Liam, who seemed to be distracted at something behind him. Mickey turned around to see what they were looking at, but there was nothing there. Fiona and Ms. Bane walked in Liam’s room which was now covered in Foam.   “Liam Gallagher I swear to god you are going to clean this room from head to toe young man. Both you and Yev, do you understand me.” Fiona said with her hands on her hips.   Yes Fiona” Both boys said at the same time. They were about to head for the bathroom but were stopped by Fiona   “No you have to wait. Mickey has to do something in the bathroom really quick. Then you two (She said pointing at both of them) can go and clean yourselves up. No you know what, Yev go to my room in my bathroom and clean up and Liam, go down stairs to the bathroom their and clean up. Separating you two I think will be best for the moment.” Fiona said rolling her eyes. When both boys looked at her and started to move slowly she shook her head again in disbelief “Come on chop, chop you to.” She said   Yev then ran into Fiona’s room who yelled out for him not to touch her bed, and go straight in to the bathroom and then Liam ran down stairs so he can clean up. Mickey looked at both woman and shook his head and shrugged his shoulders and went into the bathroom and closed the door. Ms. Bane was going to wait for him outside the bathroom and Mickey was nervous.   Just as he closed the bathroom door and locked it he turned around to see the cup he was supposed to pee in for the drug test was peed in already. He picked it up and looked at it. He didn’t remember peeing in the cup. IN fact he placed it down on the sink on the right side and now it was on the left side. Mickey then looked over at the shower curtain that was now closed up. That was also opened because Ms. Bane opened it to make sure no one was there. Mickey went to the curtain and slowly pulled it open revealing someone he didn’t think he would see helping him.   Ian was look at Mickey from inside the shower and biting his lip. He looked innocent and lost, but Mickey didn’t want to think that. He raised the cup up that was now in the plastic bag at Ian, and Ian just nodded his head   “I figured I can try and help…Fiona said you need clean urine…so I got it.” Ian said lowly   Mickey nodded his head at Ian. Not know what to say or anything. Was Ian playing him, would he play him? Was he trying to help him for real? Or was this some kind of fucked up joke that Ian would go ahead and say that it was his urine and not Mickey’s. Mickey had so many things running in the back of his mind he didn’t know what to think. He didn’t want to trust Ian, but that seemed to be the only thing he could do right now. If Mickey was to pee in the cup and give them his urine, then they would know he wasn’t clean. Then that would open the flood gates for a lot of explanation and Fiona and Jimmy put there asses already out on the line for him. Not to mention if they were to ask him why his urine was dirty, he would have to think of something if not the truth. ‘hey yeah I’m an escort at night and sometimes when I see my clients I like to not feel like I’m a peace of shit, so I get high!’ yeah right that would be an interesting fucking conversation.   Mickey looked at the bag and nodded his head again “Thanks…I ah.” Mickey said but couldn’t finish his thought   Ian nodded his head at him “It’s okay…I get it. Just take that shit to her so she can leave and you can have the rest of your day with Yev. In peace.” Ian said and Mickey did just that.   Mickey pretended use the bathroom, washed his hands and headed out the door. Ms. Bane was directly at the door and he handed the urine sample to her. She happily took it and all three adults went down stairs. After a few moments of speaking to Mickey and Fiona, Ms. Bane wanted to speak to Yev in private. She waited for Yev to finish up in the bathroom. Once Yev was done in the bathroom, he saw Ian and Fiona in the kitchen. His dad was in the sala with the social worker speaking. Yev can tell he was giving her a fake smile. He knew his dad well enough to know that he smiling at her was a fake one.  Something Yev learned a long time ago. Whenever his dad would tell him he was okay, Yev knew better. That smile was one Yev seen many times, and it always worried him, even when his dad told him not to worry about him and focus on himself.   Yev walked into the sala and looked at Ms. Bane and then at his dad. He walked over to his dad and sat down right next Mickey. He was exhausted and really tired. “I’m gonna be in the kitchen with Fiona okay Yev.” Mickey said   “Okay dad.” Yev simply said and he felt like it took a lot out of him to say it. He was having trouble breathing but he didn’t want to alarm his dad and make him worry.    Ms. Bane had asked Yev something but Yev didn’t respond. Instead his stomach started to hurt and he was having trouble breathing.  Yev’s bones felt like they were hurting and his joints were in pain. He cried out and Mickey and Fiona looked at him from the kitchen and Mickey ran to his son and grabbed him and Yev fell to the floor and on his knees and was crying.   “What the fuck did you did to my son!?” Mickey said to the social worker   Ms. Bane was in shocked just as Mickey and everyone else was “Nothing! I was asking him a simply question and then all of a sudden he grabbed his stomach like he was in pain.” She said   Mickey grabbed Yev and held him as he was crying. Yevgeny was hot, boiling hot like he was starting to have a fever. Mickey lifts up his shirt and saw small red spots on his sons body “CALL JIMMY NOW!” With that Fiona was on the phone calling the hospital for Jimmy, Liam ran down stairs and saw what was happening and ran to Fiona and Ian who were in the kitchen.   Ian was looking on not knowing what was happening and Mickey was trying his best to calm Yev down who was in pain and crying. The social worker was on the phone with 911 at the moment.   Mickey looked at his son and spoke to him “Yev-Yev I need you to look at me. I need you to look at me baby. Does your body hurt? Are you having trouble breathing Yev?” Mickey said calmly because right now if he freaked the fuck out, it would be bad for Yev and everyone else.   “Dad….dad it hurt to breath….my stomach hurts….I can’t move my arms it hurts daddy.” Yev said and began to cry into his dad’s shirt.   With that Mickey picked Yev up from the floor, looked over at Fiona who just finish getting off the phone and was in tears. “Jimmy said to get him to the hospital now, that he’s got a team on standby now for him.” Fiona said getting her things. Liam was shocked and didn’t know what to do. He hung on to Ian’s arm and didn’t let go. “Ian (Fiona said but Ian didn’t her her) ….IAN!” and with that Ian looked over at her confused “I need you to watch Liam while me and Mickey take Yev to the hospital” Fiona said getting her jacket   However Liam wasn’t having it. “No! No I’m coming! Yev needs me Fi!” Liam said and got his coat. Fiona didn’t want to argue so she just nodded her head. She went into the sala but stop as Mickey was arguing with the social worker   “Get the fuck out of my way so I can take my son to the hospital!” Mickey shouted at her   “Mr. Milkovich I have the ambulance on their way! There no need.” Ms. Bane   “Look bitch! You can either get the fuck out of my way or I swear to god the last thing you will ever do is breathe. My son need to go now!” Mickey said to her. He was livid   “Mr. Milkovich I understand-” She started to say but then was cut off   “No you don’t fucking understand! No one understands shit! Move out of my way!” Mickey shouted at her again while holding Yevgeny close to him. Yev whined in pain again and was having trouble breathing   Fiona pushed past the social worker and opened the door motioning for Mickey to move. “I don’t know what the fuck is your problem is lady! But right now we aint waiting for no fucking body, Yev needs to see his doctor and were going.” Fiona said while Mickey walked out the house carrying Yev to the car. Liam was right behind him and opened the back passenger door for him. Mickey got in with Yev and so did Liam.   Fiona was walking out the door not caring if she left the social worker there in her house. She had to get her nephew to the hospital right now. She was frantic, everything was happening so fast, but she had to drive them there, she knew Mickey couldn’t do it and waiting for the ambulance was just even worse! Anything could fucking happen. Just as Fiona got to the car ready to drive she saw Ian was in the driver’s seat. She thanked the fucking heaven and the universe. Because right now she would be driving like a manic; she got into the car and without saying anything Ian drove off to the hospital.   **** When they all got there, Mickey was the first one out of the car. He ran inside where Jimmy and the other nurses and doctors were waiting for them. They took Yev from his arms and Mickey didn’t want to let go. Jimmy held on to Mickey and looked at him “I got him Mick, I got him.” Was all Jimmy said. Jimmy looked at the nurse and spoke quickly “I want a chest xray scan stat, and a blood test done now! Like yesterday now.” Jimmy said ordering the nurse. And Mickey just looked on as they all rushed Yevgeny into the room and started working on him. Mickey saw them put the oxygen mask on Yev’s face, and the IV in his hand. He saw what they were doing from the window and he felt weak…he couldn’t do anything to help his son and now all he could do was watch.   Mickey looked on scared and confused and lost for words. Yev was fine, he was okay he didn’t have fever, he didn’t complain of his bones or joints hurting. He didn’t have those red spots like before….he didn’t, but he was fine he was okay. This couldn’t be happening again; he was supposed to be fine.   They surgery he had before he was fine. He was in a full good clean of health. He went to all his appointment, Mickey made sure of that. He never missed an appointment or a treatment. So why was this happening?…..why was it happening now!   Fiona went up to Mickey from behind and held him as he saw through the glass window what they were doing to Yev. He had silent tears coming down his face and Fiona held him tightly, she too looked inside and saw how this little boy, who was just smiling earlier and happy, was now lying down in the bed scared out of his mind. So many thing could be running in Yev’s mind and she knew they were running in Mickey’s mind as well.   Mickey was motionless as Fiona lead him to the waiting room and he just stood there, not knowing what to do “He was fine Fi…he was fine. He can’t go through this again…. It’s aint right. He was fine…. My son was fine Fi he was okay…. They said he was okay…he couldn’t have relapse….everything fine the last checkup.” Mickey said sadly “Why didn’t I see it…why didn’t I see there was something wrong?” Mickey said more to himself then Fiona who was still holding him.   “No one knew Mickey…these thing happen. Remember what the doctor said. There was a small chance he may get sick again….for all we knew it’s probably a bad cold okay. Like an infection of something. Let’s not think the worse.” Fiona said looking at him now with glassy eyes. She was trying really hard to hold on here. The last time Yev got this bad, he almost didn’t make it. She almost lost him and she almost lost Mickey to. “You need to be strong you understand me. You got me here and Jimmy is in there with Yev right now, making sure he’s okay. You got the best of the best in there Mick. So Yev needs you to be strong, and I know you can be!” Fiona said passionately to him   Mickey looked at her and nodded his head. He wiped his face with his hands and breathed in and out a few times before looking back up at Fiona. “You’re right…. You’re absolutely right. I need him to be okay, he’s going to be okay.” Mickey kept saying as he was pacing around the room.   Liam was next to Ian who was sitting down and Fiona was just standing there looking at Mickey. She didn’t know what else to say, but she knew nothing could be said really. Right now this was a waiting game.   *** After an hour of hearing nothing Jimmy came into the room where his family was at. Mickey turned around and looked over at Jimmy. Jimmy face spoke more words than volume. He looked at everyone and then looked at Mickey. Jimmy shook his head and tried to start talking, but Mickey knew… deep down he knew.   Mick I’m sorry.” Jimmy said and Mickey shook his head and began to let the tears fall from his face without making a sound “We did the blood, and the chest x-ray. And I even went on ahead and did the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy to make sure.” Jimmy said to Mickey     Mickey nodded his head and looked at Jimmy as he spoke. The words were coming out of his mouth, but he didn’t want to register them. He didn’t want to believe them, he didn’t want this to be real.     After a few moments of not saying anything and Jimmy looking at him and then at Fiona. Fiona came around to Mickey and looked at him “Mickey…Mickey say something.” Fiona said to him     Mickey looked up at Fiona was red puffy eyes “My son as Leukaemia again” was all Mickey said. And at that moment it was when Mickey broke down. After all the struggling for years, the waiting game, the treatment, the chemotherapy Yev had to go through, the late nights when Yev couldn’t sleep because he was in pain. When Yev wouldn’t eat and Mickey had to try and force him to eat just a little. The hospital fight Mickey had to go through to at least have Yev on the list for the bone marrow transplant. The fight he had to have because they said Yev’s chances of survival were limited, which made him be put last on the list, and even then Mickey fought that. They wouldn’t even let Yev try the clinical trial treatment they had. It was a struggle for Mickey to get Yev to live, but he made sure his son would get a fair shot. And now, now all that was gone and Yev was sick again.     How could you fight a battle that’s hard to fight? How can you win and defeat something, that’s so hard to win? Mickey knew the chances of someone a child with Leukemia relapsing. They were good and that’s why he hoped that every day Yev would be okay. That this virus wouldn’t come back…..But unfortunately it did.   Fiona looked at Jimmy and asked “You sure? You sure the cancers back?” Fiona had to ask. This couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be happening again. Not to them, not know!   Jimmy nodded his head at Fiona “Yeah. I did the test and had them run it a few times again to make sure. Plus with his systems….the ah;” Jimmy had a hard time with this. He knew he should have given this case to someone else, but this was family, and you don’t let family down. Plus Yev has always been his patient, but it doesn’t mean that this was easy to explain to his family and best friend. “Mickey?” Jimmy said and Mickey looked up at him “The-despite the best care we gave Yev and the fact that he was in remission. You as well as I know Mick that there was always a possible chance that the cancer would come back….this ah…fuck.” Jimmy said and took a deep breath and looked over at Mickey   “This happens and it’s called recurrence or relapse, sometime and very rarely it’s because the cancer cells woke up and by some fucked up chance they ended up spreading to other parts of the body that were too small to be detected during a follow-up or after treatment right?” Mickey said to Jimmy Who just nodded yes at him. Mickey knew all the shit he had to know about Yev, about acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. When Yev was diagnosed with it, Mickey couldn’t believe it, but then reality hit when Mickey walked in that door years ago and saw his sons small body lying on the bed hooked up to so many machines. That day Mickey thought he would die.   Mickey was brought back from his thoughts when Jimmy spoke to him again “Mickey I need you to know you did nothing wrong okay. You did not do anything wrong! And you have to understand that Yev is going to need you right now. I know you’re probably pissed, angry at the world and even sad at this moment…...” Jimmy said to him and walked up to him as he spoke “But Mick, right now. I need you level headed with me. We have to start treatment on him asap and we have to find a donor for him. This time treatment may be more aggressive than before. And we have to fine a donor as soon as possible.” Jimmy said to him   Mickey looked up at Jimmy and nodded his head. Not saying anything to him. Mickey walked out the room and towards Yev’s room. He opened the door and saw Yev lying there sleeping peaceful. And right then and there, right there was when everything sink in and reality hit him.  Now he had to fight, but the question that he had in his mind was. Was he able to fight again after everything they went through before? could he do it again for his son? Be strong and put on a mask on like he always did.     What do you think? Chapter End Notes Before you guys ask. Yes that was my plan all along for Yev and Mickeys story. Yes you will be getting more back story on Ian and Mickey as well as Svetlana story and how they met. And yes someone has asked me about Fiona and Mickey and yes there is a part in this story when it talks about them being intimate. You guys asked and yes that was always part of my story was to put that in there. So soon you will see. But again thank you for your kudos and love and comments. I love reading them and I will reply back. Promises. xoxoxoxoxo guys let me know what yah think about this chapter. Didnt know how to end the chapter but hope yah like it. ***** Yevgeny Elijah Milkovich ***** Chapter Notes Hey everyone. I know its been i a long long time since I've updated this and I do apologize. with school and work and then having somewhat of writers block along with a bit of doubt. However thanks to my Titi/cousin / awesome person ever she was able to get my head out of my ass lol. I can't promise that I will be updating frequently but I will continue to write and I'm also still editing my first fic and writing the next chapter as well. So here you guys go. I hope your not mad and I'm sorry again. but without further ado here's the next chapter to Life Unexpected. note Italic font is the past. xoxox leave me comments and i still love you guys love this and appreciate the kudos and subscriptions and book marks as well. The news of Yev hit hard for Mickey. After everything that happened, he didn’t know what to do. How do you deal with shit like this again? Why him? Why Yev? No! Why him, why his son? And why now? ....Mickey made his way into the room where Yev was at and he was just asleep. Yev had no idea what was going on right now. The medications Jimmy gave him, made him sleepy. Yev was hooked up to the monitors and the IV fluid that was sticking in his arm now. It looked like it all hurt Yev, but he was under medication. Mickey knew Jimmy and that the staff would make sure Yev was comfortable.     Mickey didn’t know what to do with everything and what was happening. He knows what to do, but it was like; how do you maintain to be strong when deep down inside your fucking falling apart? How can you tell your child that they’re sick and again? And that they have to go through treatment all over again in hopes that they will be okay again?  Jimmy told Mickey he wants to start Yev on Chemotherapy asap and that it was going to be more of an aggressive treatment. Jimmy was consulting with Yevgeny’s other doctor Ms. Cortes and they both agreed it would be best for the young boy to get more aggressive treatment this time around. They said it needed to be done as soon as possible. This meant that Yev would be weaker, eat less, loss his hair again, and Yev would have to be put back on the donor list immediately. There was so much that was going to happen again that was happening all at once. But chances of Yev getting another bone marrow donor were slim, but Mickey couldn’t think like that. Not now anyways.     ******     Everyone was now in the waiting room where Mickey had left them. Charlie had called him a few times, but Mickey didn’t pick up. He sent it straight to voicemail. He knew he should tell him what was happening now; he was family to him and Yev and did so much for them. When Fiona wasn’t able to be there for him or when Mickey didn’t have anything and he was at the end of his ropes; Charlie was there for him, he always was and has been. But Mickey didn’t know what to say or how to say anything at this moment. In fact Mickey didn’t know how to speak at this moment. He hadn’t said anything since Jimmy spoke with him and the family about Yevgeny. How do you tell anyone, especially your best friend, that your son was sick again! The words couldn’t come out of his mouth and the thoughts of it made him mad and scared all at the same time.     Eventually the phone rang again and Mickey was still stuck in a daze. He hadn’t notice when Fiona came in and sat with him in the room. She then grabs his phone and picks it up. She was speaking to someone he could tell, but Mickey didn’t care. He was so focused on Yev that he couldn’t tell that Fiona had hung up the phone and came to him again. She spoke to him, but he hears nothing. Nothing…….nothing. Fiona is looking at him and she’s worried more than ever, but she knew. She just knew… For some reason she knew that trying to talk to Mickey right now, to get him to speak was a lost cost. She would be like that too if anything would have happened to her siblings, or if Liam would have gotten more sick because of the incident that happened years ago. No parent wants to hear anything or see anything, but the light in their child’s eyes shine. Not this…not your child in bed lying down fighting for their life. No, not even on her worse enemy would she wish this on.     With that note, Mickey gets up from his seat and walks further into his sons’ hospital room and gets in the bed with Yev. Carefully making sure he did not hurt Yev or move any of the IVs that were attached to him. So Mickey just stays there lying down next to Yev looking at him as he sleeps. This young innocent child was laying in this bed, monitors hooked up to him, and Mickey couldn’t help but remember the first time he was told Yev was sick….He was in the children’s hospital and god did he want to die that day.     7 in half years ago   Mickey had come into the hospital with Yevgeny again this week. The 3 years old was running a fever that wouldn’t go down. Yev was crying yelling “daddy” and was clearly upset. Mickey could tell he was uncomfortable, even with Mickey stripping him down and running a warm rag against his sons’ small body, trying cool him down, and giving him water in hopes his temperature would go down. But nothing was working. Mickey was holding Yev in his arms with nothing but a thin blanket and Yev in a diaper. Mandy was with him, he asked her to come with her and she did. She wasn’t being a bitch with him today and he was grateful for it. This was Yev’s 3rd time this week at the hospital and Mickey was starting to get upset. He had also taken him to the free clinic to see a doctor, but all they said was the same shit to him. Every time the clinic sent him home, they would tell him that Yev just had a cold, and that he just needed infant Tylenol. But Mickey knew something else was wrong. Yev wasn’t eating as much and he was more tired, his skin was paler than normal and he would cry more. The medicine wasn’t helping, and he just looked so weak. It always broke Mickey to see his son like this. Mickey was getting really upset with the whole bullshit health care system they had here. He couldn’t afford much, let alone health care for him and Yev. So if he got sick, he would tough it out, but Yev was a different story. If and when he got sick, Mickey made sure to it that he was taken care of, even if that meant picking up more shifts at the diner to make enough money for Yev to see the doctor and get whatever medication he needed.     Mickey had moved Yev and him into a better neighborhood, away from the south side. He took Mandy with him. He didn’t want to leave her there back in their old house. Plus Mandy was rarely ever home, but when she was home she helped Mickey out with Yev. Mickey really didn’t have anyone but her and yeah he had Fiona now, but he wasn’t trying to rely too much on her. She had her own shit to deal with.     The free clinics out here were not the best, and he really hated them. But now he was in the hospital and again because shit continued to get worse and worse for Yev. He didn’t know what to do. So now they were here in the emergency room, which they had been waiting for about 3 hours and Mickey had managed to calm Yev down with a bottle; that he finally was drinking from. Yev temperature was starting to heat up fast again and now Mickey was getting worried, so he did what any parent did.     He raised fucking hell!     Mickey walks up to the window and bangs on it until someone appears. A nurse looks at him unamused and she goes up to the window. She was dressed in blue scrubs and her hair was in a ponytail, she looks tired and exhausted, but Mickey didn’t care about that. He was tired and exhausted too with a 3 in a half year old sick. “Sir, You need to stop banging on the window.”     “I’ll fucking stop when a nurse or a fucking doctor see me.” Mickey spat out     “Sir we’re a bit backed up okay. You’ll be seen in a short while, just please sit down and wait your turn.” She says to him.     It was then that Yev decides to start crying. Mickey automatically goes to him and picks him up from his stroller. His fever was getting worse Mickey could tell; and he was about to go on a rampage now. He turns around with Yev and goes up to the window “Look lady, I don’t give a fuck what you say, but you or someone needs to fucking see my kid like right fucking now!” Mickey said in a rush “He has a fever and it’s not letting up and I’ve been sitting here for 3 fucking hours….he just a baby.” Mickey says in a pled.     The nurse looks over at him and then back at the sign in sheet. “What’s your name?” She says to him     “Mickey Milkovich.” He simply says tiredly while lightly bouncing Yev up and down on his hip. “I’m here because my son and not me okay. He’s been sick and he’s not getting better. I signed that damn sheet when I got in here, so what the fuck is taking so long!” Mickey says to her, he was annoyed and pissed off. I mean what parent wouldn’t be?  When nurse looks over at the clip bored she cursed under her breathe and notices that someone must have pushed the sign in sheet out of her view. She looks up at Mickey and saw him cradling Yev close to him and kissing his forehead trying to calm the baby down.     The nurse looks at Mickey and gets up quickly from where she was sitting. “Come, come with me around, I’ll call the doctor now for you both right now to be seen.” She says quickly. Immediately the female nurse calls for the doctor over the phone and informs her to come to the emergency room immediately. The nurse led Mickey and Yev into a room with a table inside of it and Mickey held Yev close to him not wanting to let him go. Another young nurse came in the room and took the chart from the door and looked over at Mickey who had Yevgeny on his lap and she notices he was whispering to him. The younger nurse goes up to Mickey, and asked if she could take Yev and put him on the table. At first Mickey was hesitant, he didn’t trust no one with his son, but Yev needed to be treated. So he gets up and places Yev on the table as she goes ahead and takes his temperature.     “Where’s the doctor?” Mickey asked the nurse as she was waiting for the thermometer to beep and tell her Yev’s temperature.     “She will be here in a second, she just down hall with another patient Mr. Milkovich.” She says nicely to Mickey and looks over at the chart while holding the thermometer under Yev’s underarm. “The chart says you’ve been here 3 times this week. And that you gave him medicine; how long ago was that?” She asked him again trying to make conversation with Mickey     Mickey looks at her tiredly and sighs. He was annoyed and it seemed like he kept answer the same questions over and over again this past week with Yev. It fucking seemed like no one knew what the fuck was wrong and asking the same question over again for him to answer them again was pissing him off. “About 4 hours ago.” Mickey says to her trying to stay calm.     The nurse brushed back Yev’s hair from his face. He looks up at her with wet eyes. He was paler than normal and his face was flushed for a baby. “Well maybe it’s a cold, I know some new parents can get a bit paranoid but it’s probably best to let the fever run its course, it happens sometimes.” She says to Mickey     Mickey looks at the nurse like he was going to kill her “Look lady, I don’t know you, but I know my son okay. I gave him the medicine that the last doctor told me to give him and nothing seems to be fucking working. I’ve been giving him medicine and nothing is fucking working!” Mickey hisses out “And now you’re saying I have to let the fever runs its course? Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Mickey says to her with wide eyes “Look just let me see a fucking doctor, because I’m tired of talking to nurse, after nurse, after fucking nurse not getting answer! I want to see a doctor now! And not one that’s gonna give me the same bullshit explanation like the others have okay.  I don’t want to hear some shit from you or anyone but a doctor!” Mickey says persistently and the nurse looks shocked but says nothing more. As she calls for the doctor the thermometer went off, it read that Yev had a high fever of 103.The nurse turns and looks at Mickey “I paged the doctor, and she’ll be here in a moment, but how long has he been like this?” She asked       “For a few days now, really a few weeks now, but this week it’s just gotten worse. I took him to the clinic and gave him the medicine they told me to give him, but nothing. I brought him to the hospital here, a doctor saw him a few days ago  and yet again the fucker told me to give him the children’ medication and I did and yet nothing. Plus he hasn’t been eating so much and he’s always tired and I don’t get why?  But the doctor at that fucking clinic I took him to yesterday said it was normal, and I’m no fucking expert and I don’t have a degree in any of this shit, but that shit ain’t normal okay.” Mickey says to her. With that information alone the nurse went over to his chart and jot down what Mickey was telling her.     Not a moment later a female doctor of average height, light caramel skin and dark curly hair with brown eyes came in the room and was handed over a chart looking at it as the nurse spoke to her. “Young male 3 in half year old child is experiencing a high fever of 103, the father brought him in and stated he gave him the medicine his doctor told him to give him, but his fever hasn’t gone down. Also the child is experience some a lot of fatigue and is not eating as the father expressed. Also I noted that the child’s complexion is very much off. He seems to be much paler than a normal child would be for his age.” The nurse expressed to the doctor.     The doctor looks up at Mickey and smiles as she went over to him and Yev. Mickey was sitting down holding Yev in his arms cradling him trying to get him to drink water. “Hi, my name is Doctor Miller. I see you came in because of little Yevgeny? Is that correct” She says as she went over to Yev and Mickey and was checking on him.       “Yeah I came in like fucking 3 hours ago; look anyways I’m here because my son has a fever and it’s not going away. I gave him the medicine his fucking doctor told me to give him but nothing seems to be fucking working and to top it off he refuses to eat and is tired and he’s burning up.” Mickey says in a rush. “Plus that nurse or whatever said something about letting his fever run its course. But Yev’s had a fever on and off for the past few weeks. It goes and it comes and nothings working. His appetite is not there nearly gone half the time; he’s a growing boy so he’s supposed to be eating and stuff. But nothing I’ve given him he wants or refuses to eat and I’ve tried everything. ” Mickey now says angrily         The doctor was examine Yev on the table and was speaking to Mickey “Well sometimes in cases with infants it’s hard to tell. But I’m sure the reason my nurse said this to you was mostly like to information you that when we get a fever, it’s the bodies’ normal response is to fight an infection such as a cold. Almost all the time it’s an infection that we’re fighting; which our becomes then a defense mechanism we all have, even infants.” Dr. Miller says and looking up at Mickey. “High temperatures trigger our bodies to fight infections and that’s where our white blood cells come in. Sometimes it can be bad when we lower our fever because it affects our body’s ability to respond to the infection. With that being said a fever is one of the more obvious signs of any illness; which is why I know you as a parent are worried.” Dr. Miller says to Mickey         “Well no shit. You think?” Mickey said sarcastically to her. “Look I looked up some stuff on the internet, and it said a high fever like that one Yev’s been having can make him brain damaged or that it can even be an infection, like the flu, or bronchitis, or even fucking strep throat. But it’s not a cold like those other doctors said, I know there something wrong with my son.” Mickey says to her again eagerly.     “Mr. Milkovich those website are not accurate and believe me-” Dr. Miller tries to say but was cut off by Mickey in a flash.     “Are you fucking kidding me! I’ve been to the clinic at least 7 times in 2 week for the doctor to tell me that it’s nothing but a cold. I’ve been here to the hospital 3 times this week again for a fucking doctor and even a nurses to tell me “oh it’s nothing but a common cold” No! No it’s not a cold! There’s something wrong him. I came here, I waited 3 hours 3 fucking hours to be seen, and to have your nurse tell me that if he has a fever its best to let him ride it out and then for you to basically tell me that your nurse is right!” Mickey says nearly yelling at the Doctor. This was just ridiculous, a child cannot keep getting sick over and over again and have a cold like this; there was no way that was right.  “But mean while I tell you what I read up online and I know! I know for a fact, that my son is sick and there’s something wrong with him! (Mickey now pointed to the Doctor Miller as he spoke) So do your fucking job and do whatever blood test, urine test, fucking full body examination on my son and see why the fuck he’s been having a fever and still has one.” Mickey says and takes a breath to try and calm himself down, because he didn’t want to scare Yev. Yev was already starting to whine a bit. “This fever he has; has been going up and down for the past 2 in half weeks, and why is he always tired? Huh? Don’t you think you may want to look into it instead of assuming shit! You’re a fucking doctor! For fuck sacks, my son has barely wanted to do anything and looks so pale!” Mickey says to her while holding back tears from falling on his face. He’s a father who is just afraid and angry and it seems like no one is helping or wants to help him. “Do something and do it now!” Mickey hisses out at her holding Yev closer to him now.     Dr. Miller looks at Mickey and Yevgeny and sighs “Mr. Milkovich we’re going to help you and you’re son. Okay I’m going to help you and your son.”     “Then do it! Do it now, do it right now. Don’t tell me you’re going to help me and then give me bullshit. He’s sick, so help him.” Mickey demands because he wasn’t leaving the hospital until he got some answers.     The doctor simply nods her head. “I will… Now you said he’s been sick on and off right?” She asked him     Mickey nods his head as he spoke “Yeah… like on an off and he hasn’t been himself. He barely has any energy. Normally he loves to dance to those cartoons I put on, but he doesn’t do that. And he hasn’t been eating a lot and he always wants to sleep. I haven’t taken him to the park or anything. It’s like he’s so tired and drained I don’t get.” Mickey tells her.     She nods her head at the information Mickey gives her and was writing it down on his chart and looks up at Mickey and says. “And he’s been here to the hospital 3 times and the clinic more than once and nothing. They said nothing but him having a cold?” she asked again more to herself but said it out loud, while looking over Yev chart from the history they had on Yevgeny and on from the current information they have now. Even she can see that his behavior wasn’t normal.     Mickey rolls his eyes. How many times was he going tell them this? “Yes! How many times do I have tell you, yes, yes and fucking yes!” Mickey says as he was becoming more annoyed at the same questions over and over again. And it wasn’t that he was being difficult, it was that each doctor and nurse always asked the same questions over and over again when it was clearly on Yevgeny’s chart. Time was being wasted on not helping Yev. It seemed like no one wanted to help him, and all they did was ask the same things over and over again without really looking to see what was wrong with Yev.  He was becoming frustrated and worried; I mean what parent wouldn’t be at this point.     Doctor Miller nods her head and grabs the phone in the room and called for the OR to prep a room for her now. The nurse came in the room and took Yev, transporting him to another area in the hospital and Mickey followed behind closely. They had given Yev some ibuprofen for now to see if his temperature did lower a bit, since it wasn’t going down. It went up slightly from 103 to 103.2. They ended up putting Yev on an IV fluid drop in his little arm so he can have consistent fluids in his body. That was one hell of an experience. Mickey never saw his son yell so loud and so hard in his entire life. Yev was crying for his daddy and Mickey couldn’t do anything at that moment. He had to step back and let the nurses do their work, but his instincts were kicking in. He didn’t like seeing Yev cry. Mickey hated that Yev was now crying, but the doctor said it was best and what they had to do in order to make sure Yevgeny stood hydrated. So he went with it. I mean what else can he do at this point. At least someone was going to help him.     Not even a few moments later, Yev was lying in this hospital bed that looked so big for him, and Mickey couldn’t help but want to hold Yev even closer to him. When Yev managed to calm down a bit he started playing with his toys on the bed and looks up at Mickey and smiles. Mickey smiles back and brushes his dark hair back from his forehead. “I need to get you a haircut little man.” Mickey says to Yev softly     Yev smiles at his dad and shakes his head no saying “No, no daddy no.” and he laughs to. That made Mickey smile.     Mickey nodded his head at him. “Yes, yes you do. Don’t worry. Daddy will do your hair okay?” Mickey said to Yev.  Yev looks up at his dad again and smiles even brighter and just shakes his head again no saying it over and over again and laughing. That made Mickey smiles more. It seemed like Yev was starting to feel a little better and his smile was all Mickey needed to be sure he was going to be okay.     The same nurse from earlier came in the room a few moments later and walked over to Yev and Mickey; she had her gloves on and rolled over her cart where she began to take out a needle. The doctor had told Mickey a few moments ago, that they were going to draw some blood from Yev. The nurse played with Yev a bit and asked Mickey to distract him while she took some of his blood. Mickey knew this was going to be hell but he had no choice. So he distracted Yev the best he can. But as soon as that needle touched Yev, little man was screaming. And all Mickey could do was holding him and cradle him. It felt like the nurse was taking forever, but she was quick. Mickey looks over and saw she took a few vials of blood from Yev and that scared him. ‘why do they need so much?’ he thought to himself but if it got him some real answer then he would live with it. The nurse gave Yev a lollypop for being brave little guy said and left the room.     Another nurse came back in the room holding up an icy for Yev. At first Yev didn’t want to take it, but then Mickey grabbed it for him and thanked the nurse. Slowly but surely Yev was eating the Icy getting himself all stick. Mickey got sticky from the Icy as well because Yev touched him with his hands and was leaning on him. Yev was a happy baby and Mickey loved to see his son smile; so getting dirty was nothing for him.     Mickey was told that the Doctor was admitted Yev; but no one came to check on Yev and he was getting worried. He had told Mandy she could go home since she was getting aggravated and didn’t want to stay any longer than she needed to. Mickey didn’t want to her to start a fight with her, so she left and he let her go. So he now was alone by himself in hospital room waiting for the test results on Yev.     Mickey walked up to Yev’s bed, Yev was sound asleep. They both had been here now for 5 hours now and Yev was asleep which was a good thing; it seems like the most smallest things would get him tired fast. They had taken him to get a full body scan they said it was an x-ray. It was a bit scary to see Yev on a table with a machine scanning his body, but it needed to be done. Mickey didn’t care how much everything cost at this moment. Somehow, some way, he will pay for all of this. Money was not an issue when it came to Yevgeny. There was a monitor on the right side of his bed monitoring, his heart and blood pressure and the IV drop was on the left side of the bed that was still on his arm. Yev looked so small, smaller than anything Mickey could have pictured and it broke Mickey’s heart to see him like this in bed. To know that he couldn’t take away whatever pain Yev was in. All he wanted to do was make sure he was fine and get him home safe and continue on with their lives. Was that so hard to ask for? Is that so hard to want? So much was running through in and out of Mickey’s mind; that his thoughts were cut off when the same nurse that had taken Yev’s blood came back into the room to tell him that the doctor will be him in a moment to discuss something with him. Mickey nodded his head at her and went back to looking at his son sleep.     Not even 10 minutes later Mickey hears the door to Yev’s room open and saw Dr. Miller come in. She was holding a chart, which Mickey figured was Yev’s “Good evening Mr. Milkovich, so I have the results from Yev’s blood test, and I wanted to talk to you about them. I also wanted to ask you some questions I didn’t get to before.”     “Okay yeah shoot, what’d you want to know?” Mickey said to her     “Well I saw that Yev mother passed away from complication at birth.” She said to Mickey     Mickey looked down and nodded his slightly and looked back up the doctor when he spoke “Yeah she ah…. something to do with a postpartum hemorrhage, she ah, she bled out.” Mickey said. He was always so uncomfortable talking about Svetlana death. It made him somewhat emotional, he was there the day she died, the day their son was born and his life changed forever. “Uh the Doctors didn’t catch it on time and less than 24 hours she was gone.” Mickey said sadly.     “Okay, so was her pregnancy normal with Yevgeny? No complications or anything to explain the PPH?” Dr. Miller asked     “Ah she had a bit of high blood pressure, but she was always active. She was barely an adult and me I was 17. She worked and I worked so that Yev would have everything he needed when he was born. But that was about it, just her high blood pressure. When she was in labor they were monitoring her blood pressure. I was there and everything was fine.” Mickey said “She ah…she also had a weak heart, but I didn’t know that till later on.  She never told me about that.” Mickey also explained to the doctor     Dr. Miller sighed and nodded “Okay, do you know anything about her family history?” she now asked     “Um no, no not really, she ah, she was born in Russia, and she came here on a student visa. We met when we were kids, she was older than me.” Mickey said. He didn’t want to tell the doctor too much of his ex-wife. It was no ones business that Svetlana’s father and mother sold her to be pimped out in America, or that his marriage to her was to help her out, and well him as well. They had Yev and if she was still alive they would be a family. A weird family where she would have a girlfriend or boyfriend and he would have a boyfriend or fuck buddies, whichever way; but they would be a family.     “Okay well, what about your family is there anything you can tell me about your family history?” The Doctor asked Mickey     Mickey sighed and put his head down thinking of anything “I don’t know, I mean my dad’s an alcoholic, he’s a smoker, drug user. Mans over weight and is complete unhealthy. And I don’t anything about my mother, or any of my grandparents, and I don’t keep in touch with no one really from my family. I have a shit load of brothers and one sister…why?” Mickey asked     “Well asking for medical back around can usually help us with Yevgeny in any way we can. Sometimes things like diabetes, or asthma, heart disease and any other diseases can be hereditary passed down from generation to generation. It can also skip a generation or two but it’s always best for us to know these things. That way we can see if Yev is prone to having any of these things.” She said carefully to him.     Mickey nodded his head trying to think of anything that could help before he spoke. “Okay, well I don’t know if we have any of that stuff besides what I told you, but what’s wrong with my son?” Mickey said not a moment later “I know you had the blood work back so I want to know what’s wrong with him.” Mickey said to Dr. Miller.     “Well his blood test came back abnormal and with that-” Dr. Miller said but then was cut off by Mickey     “Wait what?” That wasn’t something Mickey was expecting to hear “What do you mean his blood test result came back abnormal? What do you mean by abnormal?” Mickey asked now. He was starting to get nervous and in the pit of his stomach was starting to turn again. Like he knew something bad was going to happen.     “Well we tested for everything really, from his blood sugar to his blood count. And there is a not so normal pattern of his white blood cells.  Meaning your son has a very low count of white blood cells. It’s why he’s been getting sick so much and why it’s hard from him to fight an infection.  I want to be sure about diagnosing him. That’s why I wanted to get more history of your families’ background first.  But before I can do that, with your permission I would like to do another test on him. It will be as painless as we can make it and we’ll try to make sure he won’t feel a thing. He will be unconscious of course. But I think it’s best we do this test first so that I can give you a 100 percent accurate answer on what is wrong with Yevgeny.” Dr. Miller said to Mickey     Mickey was silent for a moment. In his mind he was thinking many things but he was thinking that yes, yes he needed to know what was wrong with Yev and if this test was going to give him an accurate answer then yes. ‘This is what I need and asked for. I need results.’ Mickey thought to himself “Okay, well what test is it then?” Mickey asked the Doctor.     “Well I want to perform a bone marrow aspiration and bone marrow biopsy on Yevgeny, and as soon as possible.” She said eagerly     “A Bone marrow what?” Mickey said ‘What the fuck is that?’ Mickey thought to himself     “A bone marrow aspiration and biopsy, it’s where I am able to obtain a sample of Yev’s bone marrow.” Dr. Miller said and was about to explain more but was cut off by Mickey asking questions. Something she didn’t mind at all him doing.     “Fuck; okay, wait you lost me. What is that? Like what kind of test is that?” Mickey asked the doctor nervously     “Well a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy is where I would take a sample from Yev’s bone marrow. Its two test and they are always done at the same time, rather one after the other. Now the bone marrow Aspiration procedure is when we take a sample from the back of pelvic bone which is the hip bone. Now it can be painful but since he is so young we will try to give him something to not feel the pain, rather it’s best if he is sleeping. Now in some cases it can be taken from the front of the hip bone. Now for the biopsy that is when I would take a small piece of Yevgeny’s Bone and the marrow and remove it.” Dr. Miller explained “I have a colleague of mine who is going to be with me, one of the best people I work with and-     Mickey was shaking his head. “And how do you do this test like with what machine or what?” Mickey asked frantically     “Well we would be doing it with a needle that we insert into his hip bone for the first test, and the second one will be a larger needle where we would push down into the bone and remove what we need to be tested.” Dr. Miller said to him slowly and calmly   Mickey was shaking his head more and ran his hand over his face. He was internally freaking out and trying to think of what to say and what to ask. Why this test? What was wrong with Yev? Why are they going to do this test? What are they not telling him? All of these questions were running in Mickey’s over and over again. So much that he didn’t even know he was saying it out loud and until Dr. Miller touched his arm and he flinched back looking at her like very frighten and scared child.     “Mr. Milkovich” Dr. Miller tried to speak     “No! No tell me what’s wrong! Why are you doing all these test?” Mickey said a little louder than normal. He wanted to know everything that was going on with Yev and what and why these test were being done. Yes he wanted to know what was wrong with his son, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t tell him why they were doing these test and what for. What did the doctor think Yev had? Why not just come out and say it? Was it that bad?     “No one has said anything to me? The nurses came in took his blood, took his blood pressure, see if he was okay and has been checking his vitals and kept taking his temperature.  Then I asked the nurses earlier about the result of his blood test, but they said its standard procedure for you to talk to me and tell me. Then the body scan he got, no one will tell me anything. So what’s wrong with Yev? What do you think is wrong with my son? ...What aren’t you telling me what you think is wrong with him!” Mickey said demanding to know now and right now! “You took blood from him, what did it show? I want to know-what do you exactly mean when you said his blood results were abnormal. I want you to tell me exactly what you think! Because now you’re asking me to let you do a bone marrow thing on him! And I know! (Mickey said pointing to himself) I know it means something wrong so tell me what is wrong!” Mickey said to the doctor and when she didn’t answer fast enough for him he continued. “What aren’t you telling me?!” Mickey said frantically looking at Dr. Miller as if she had his life in his own hands, because in a way…she kind of did.     Dr. Miller took a second to answer. Mickey and let out a small sigh as she looked at him. “Mr. Milkovich I want to be sure about the blood test results we got. That’s why I’m asking for this test to be done with your permission.  I’m telling you I want to perform a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy on Yevgeny.”     “Okay well why? Tell me, tell me why?” Mickey insisted on asking     “Mr. Milkovich” Dr. Miller said     “Mickey” Mickey said to her     “What?” She asked     “Mickey, just call me Mickey” He hated being called Mr. Milkovich; it reminded him of his father.     “Okay, Mickey” The Dr. Miller sighs. “When I did the blood test for Yev, some things came back abnormal like I told you. I had the technician do them over and over again. Like I said we tested for the basic. When I sent the nurse to do a full body x-ray again I got the results. But I still need more results so that way I can give you the right answer so that I can help Yevgeny and you. Now I don’t want to alarm you, but I need you to be patient with me and let me get you your answer okay. I know you have a lot of question and as a parent I would have as well.” Doctor Miller tells Mickey.     “You’re a parent?” Mickey asked     “Yes.” Doctor smiled as she spoke to Mickey “I have a 13 year old at home, so yes I understand where you may be frighten and afraid and of course pissed off at everyone because no-ones helped you. But I’m helping you right now. Doing this test, we can see if he has any kind of sickness. I want to give you the right answer and cut out all the possibilities I can before I give you my accurate diagnosis.” Dr. Miller tells Mickey.     It took Mickey a minute to respond, but when he did he looked at the doctor right in her eyes and spoke. “So you want to run a bone marrow test on my son for a sickness?” Mickey said to the doctor more of a statement and less than question.     “Yes” Dr. Miller said     Mickey looked at her with glassy eyes and let out a small chuckle and turned around and looked at Yev. Yev was just lying in bed breathing normally sleeping, just like an angel. Mickey turned and looked back at the doctor. “What sickness? What sickness could he have?” Mickey asked in almost a chocking sound. He was trying to keep his emotions together. You hear sickness and your child in one form of a sentence and you think the worse of the worse.     Dr. Miller looked at Mickey as she spoke, never taking her eyes off of him. “It can possible be a few things; such as anemia, or bone marrow disease such as myelofibrosis or myelodysplastic syndrome, it can also be a blood cell condition such as leukopenia or polycythemia, it can be hemochromatosis which can be a genetic disorder and that happens when a persons’ iron builds up in the blood or an infection such as sepsis, among other things as well.” Dr. Miller says to Mickey. She didn’t want to get into more details and frighten her patients’ father. She wanted to get answer for him so that way they could know what they were dealing with. Accurate answers, that’s what they needed and what her patients’ father demanded. So that was exactly what she was going to do for him.     “Okay yeah…yeah go do it.” Mickey said looking at Yev and wiping his unshed tears away from his face. Last thing he needed was for someone to see him break down.     ****     Mickey was able to be in the room with Yev. He was thankful for that. He was able to see what they were doing to Yev and the Doctors informed Mickey that he could ask them questions and one of them will answer him. Dr. Miller told Mickey that as they are performing the biopsy that they will be informing him on what they are doing to Yevgeny in case Mickey became worried. She told him that they need him to keep calm so that way Yev can keep calm.     Before the procedure had started they had given Yevgeny a full body anesthia. From that he slowly fell asleep on the table now. Yev was positions on his side with the help of Mickey. He was not facing Mickey and Mickey couldn’t help but place his hand on his sons face and caress it. The doctor went ahead and rubs something on the left side of his hip bone. Mickey was carefully looking on to make sure Yev was okay. The left side of Yev was draped with a white cloth. Mickey sees the doctor take a needle to Yev. Mickey hated needles; he was sure if Yev would see it he would cry and scream. But Yev was facing him sleeping and he was smiling in his sleep. Even with the pacifier in his mouth Mickey can see him smiling as he slept. There was another doctor inside with Dr. Miller. The male doctor then seemed to press on Yevs left hip bone and then Mickey sees him bring a larger needle instrument and inserts it into Yev. It looks like he’s being rough applying pressure to Yev’s hip and is like screwing into his sons hip bone.      Mickey just wants to cry because seeing that makes him worry and scared. Yev is not able to feel or see any of this. As the doctor continues on with the procedure, Mickey sees the team inside the room moving around. Once they get the sample of the bone marrow they remove the needle from Yev and Mickey breathes in hard. It’s like he’s hurting instead and seeing his son like this hurts. Mickey can see that there putting some of his blood bone marrow on what looks like rectangular glass and they put a spot of blood on it and place another rectangular glass over it. They do that to a few samples he sees. When there done, they clean Yev up and place a band aid on his hip.     Throughout the whole time during the procedure, the nurses where constantly checking on Yev’s heart rate, blood pressure, his temperature and blood oxygen levels. After getting the bone marrow aspiration the Doctors started to perform the bone marrow biopsy. This time around Mickey saw the doctor insert a different kind of needle into Yevgeny’s hip bone in his lower back.  The doctor was talking out loud so that Mickey could what they were doing to Yev. It gave Mickey comfort to know what they were doing and that the doctors and nurses were informing him on what they were doing and that Yev was okay. The needle Mickey saw was to remove a small sample of bone. That sample the doctors were going to test. Mickey was glad that Yev had IV medication to help him not feel anything that was happening to him.  It all looked just so painful. All Mickey was doing was holding Yev’s hand and comforting him. Mickey was keeping Yev calm as he slept through the processes. The nurse said that it was good that he was sleeping. Most kids are up but are very drowsy and many parents try hard to be calm for their child.     After the test was done Yev was lying down on his bed and resting. Doctor Miller told Mickey that the results for the test will be back in 2 days’ time and that she will call Mickey to come back in so that they can review the . Mickey nodded his head at that. Doctor Miller gave Mickey strict instruction for him to follow. Since Yev fever was down she recommended that Mickey take him home. She informed him that if his fever picks up to bring him back here immediately if he wanted or to at least give him the children Tylenol. She explained that Yev will be groggy from the test and the IV medication they gave him during the test. She also explained to him that Yev may be tender and sore around his hip area that to be careful with him and if he could stay home with him for the rest of the week.   ******     For the rest of the next two days Mickey was on edge. He was waiting for Dr. Miller to call with the test results.  Mickey made sure that his phone was always on and that he services no matter where he went. Bringing Yev home the day he was released from the hospital was okay.  Mickey called Mandy up to ask if her  and her new boyfriend can pick him and Yev up from the doctors. Mickey could tell she was annoyed with him asking for this favor. “Please Mandy….the doctor said Yev needs to be home and that he needs to rest. I would really like to get him home quickly as possible.”     Mandy sighs annoyingly. “Ugh Mickey; why can’t you take a fucking cab or something……I’m in the middle of something here.” Mandy said and was giggling over the phone.     Mickey sighs into the phone while still holding Yev. “Mands please….I don’t have cab fare right now. I need to get Yev home.”     Mandy sighs again. “Fine, whatever. We’ll be there soon. Like 10 minutes or something.” Mandy said dryly then hung up the phone.     Mickey thanked her and waited for Mandy. When Mandy got there Mickey was already waiting inside sitting down for her with Yev in his arms wrapped up in a blanket. Mandy asked why where they in there forever. So Mickey told her that the doctor wanted to run some test on Yev and that the results should be in, in two days. Mandy accepted the response and helped Mickey into the apartment with Yev.     Once Mickey was settled, Mandy left and told him that she would be gone for a few days; that her boyfriend was flying her out to New York. Mickey wanted to ask her stay and be with him and Yev. She was his only family he really spoke to or had around besides Yev. But he didn’t ask her to stay. Yev was not her responsibility and she had her own life to live. Plus Mickey knew if he even asked her to stay she would be upset with him and bitch and complain. That was something he didn’t want nor needed to deal with right now. So Mickey just nodded his head at Mandy in his response. Once she left, Mickey went into Yev’s room that little Yev shared with Mandy. Yev was lying in his crib that he was a little bit too big for by now, but with Mandy’ bed and the crib in the room there wasn’t much space to get Yev a small twin size bed just yet.     Mickey was looking at Yev as he slept with his teddy bear right next to him. Mickey was instructed by Dr. Miller that the band aide that was on him could come off the 24 hours and that to only wash bathe Yev for now until the band aide was off. She told him that Yev would be very groggy because of the medication, but that he will be drinking and eating okay once the medication weaned off.  For a few moments Mickey just stood there looking over Yev. Looking at how he was sleeping so peacefully clutching on to his teddy bear. So many things were running through Mickeys mind at once. What if Yev was really sick? What does he do? Or what if he can’t afford to pay for this hospital bill now? And if Yev was sick how will he pay for the bills at the hospital and his bills here? Will they take credit card? Mickey had 2 cards for back up in case anything ever happened. Like when Yev got sick before and he was out for work for almost 2 weeks. Mickey used his card for the hospital bill. It was the only way to get by for a while. He just finished paying it off. But the question that kept running in his mind was; will my baby boy be okay? Mickey needed Yev to be okay. He couldn’t lose someone else that he loves.     That Night Mickey slept next to Yev’s crib. He had work in the morning but he called out letting Glen know that he was in the hospital with Yev. Glen was a good guy always has been; he told Mickey not to worry and that he was sure Fiona or one of the other girls would cover his shift. Mickey thanked him and told him he would bring in the note from the doctors to him as soon as he was able to. Glen told Mickey to take his time and focus on Yev. Mickey was thankful for Glen. Glen was a hard ass on all his workers, but he had a small soft spot for Mickey. See, Svetlana use to work at the diner and Glen was her boss, but he was more like a father figure to her. At the time Glen was the only one who knew about Svetlana and Mickey’s life. He always gave Mickey a hard time when he would come over to pick Svet up from work. Mickey didn’t like him at first, but that soon ended up changing and that was because of Svetlana. After that things were okay with them, but then after Svetlana past away Glen came to Mickey and told him if he needed anything that he would give it to Mickey and Yev.     Mickey was in a dark place when Svetlana past away; he had a new born baby and was on his own now. Apart of him resented his son after bringing him home. But the doctors told him that with Svetlana’s heart condition that even she may or may not have known about and the birth; that she would have gotten sick eventually. Mickey didn’t care, he felt it was Yevgeny’s fault, then he felt it was more his fault and not Yevgeny’s at all. He got her pregnant; he got his best friend pregnant. If it wasn’t for him she would still be here.     It was the note that he found that he that changed everything for him soon after Svetlana past away. She wrote him and their son a note. Mickey now went over to his chest and took out the note and read it again like he always did when things got hard. He took the words she wrote down on paper in and silently cried reading the note over again. He folded it back up and put it away. After that he went back into Yev’s room, he refused to leave Yev side so he made a bed on the floor next to the crib. As uncomfortable as the floor was; Mickey slept next to Yev that night.     ***********   Two days had past and Mickey was on the edge. He couldn’t stop staring at his phone waiting for the doctor to call him. When he got up that morning, he called the hospital and asked to speak to Dr. Miller. She wasn’t on shift yet and Mickey cursed mentally at the universe. He tried to keep himself occupied with drawing and writing in his book. Nothing was working really.  He decided to try and pass the time with him teaching Yev how to say the ABC’s, teaching him different Colors and counting number like he normally did on his days off. Yev was smart and he would follow Mickey along every time learning more and more. Mickey loved to read to Yev every chance he got. So he decided to read to him now hoping time would pass by quicker. Yev always followed Mickey as he read pointing to the words. Yev would read over him and Mickey didn’t mind. The kid was smart for his age and Mickey didn’t care if anyone said otherwise.     It was 1pm when the house phone rang. Mickey picks up his phone quickly and looks to see it was the hospital calling. He answers it quickly “hello” Mickey said as if he was out of breathe.     A woman over the phone answers Mickey. “Hi is this Mr. Milkovich, the father of Yevgeny Elijah Milkovich.” The woman over the phone asked.     “Yes, yes this is Mickey Milkovich.” Mickey answers quickly.     “Hi Mr. Milkovich, I’m one of the nurses calling for Dr. Miller. She asked me to call you to see if you can come in as soon as possible.” The nurse said to Mickey.     Mickey sat up straight while still holding Yev on the sofa. “Um yeah okay sure. Is it about my son? Did she get the results back? Can you tell me what the results say?” Mickey asked quickly.     “I’m sorry sir I can’t. Dr. Miller just told me to call you to ask you to come down. I don’t know anything more. But she did request you come as soon as you can. Now if possible.” The nurse expressed over the phone.     Mickey was rushed with emotions at this point. “No, yeah okay, of course. Me and my son will be there soon.” Mickey says now as he is picking Yev up off of his lap and placing him down on the sofa next to him.     “Okay. When you come in, just come to the front desk and ask for Dr. Miller. The staff up front will call her as soon as you get there. They know she is expecting to see.” The nurse stated to Mickey.     “Okay thank you” Mickey said nervously.     “Your welcome goodbye sir.” The nurse simply said to him     “Yeah bye.” Mickey says and hangs up the phone and looks at Yev; who then looks at him back with a smile.     “Hey buddy you want to go bye, bye with daddy?” Mickey said looking at Yev with a smile on his face.     “YES! Park please.” Yevgeny said excitedly.     “No Yev, we have to go to the doctor okay.” Mickey told Yev who then started to pout.     Yev gave Mickey his best puppy eyes. “Aww noooo, no doctor daddy…park please” Yev whined and puckered his lips at his dad. Something he knows that Yev must have learned from Fiona and Debbie. Fucking Gallaghers, Mickey thought to himself.     Mickey sighs and caves in to those big blue puppy eyes his son is giving him. “After the doctors okay baby; I promise you.” Mickey tells Yevgeny.     “Okay daddy.” Yev says excitedly and goes to his room. Mickey looks up from the sofa to see that Yev brought over his sneakers to Mickey. Mickey smiles and grabs Yev in for a big hug. Yev hugs him back just as tight as his little arms could.  With that, Mickey gets him and Yev ready to leave to see Dr. Miller.   *******   As soon as Mickey got to the hospital he went straight to the front desk. “Hi I’m Mickey Milkovich; I’m here to see Dr. Miller.” Mickey said to the front desk person, who then paged Dr. Miller. Not even 5 minutes later Mickey and Yevgeny were being ushered into Dr. Miller office.     Mickey and Yev sat down on the chair in the room. Mickey was feeling nervous and anxious all at once. He really wished he had Mandy here or even Fiona. But Mandy was off somewhere with her boyfriend and Fiona was at work covering his shift. So that left him here; all alone and waiting for the Doctor to give him the results on Yevgeny’s biopsy.     Soon after Dr. Miller walks in her office and smiles at Mickey; however her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. It’s a fake smile and Mickey can tell it is. “Good afternoon Mickey, Hi Yevgeny!” She says to both of them.   “Hi” Yev says and waves at the Doctor happily. “Hey Doc.” Mickey says at the same time. Then Dr. Miller goes to sit down at her desk and pulls out a folder, which Mickey figures it is Yev’s chart. “So Dr. Miller lay on me; what did the results say? Is Yev okay? He’s okay right? I mean he looks better and but he’s still sleepy and tired still, and he’s still not eating much.” Mickey tells her.     Dr. Miller sighs heavily and opens Yev’s Chart. “Okay so right to the point correct?” Dr. Miller asked and Mickey nods his head instantly. “Well when I got the blood test done from Yev, we tested for everything as you know and as I told you. But the one thing that popped out was his white blood cells count, and that he was fighting an infection.” Dr. Miller started off explaining to Mickey. Mickey just nods his head for her to continue; he knew this already she said it earlier to him. “The reason why we took blood sample from Yev’s arm the first time was to do a blood count test, which is normally done to determine how man blood cells of each type are in the blood. Now Yev had some abnormal blood cells and his blood cells did change in a way that had me suspecting something. Which is why I had the nurse draw more amount of Blood from Yev the second time around.  Now as I said before his white blood cell count was abnormal and it can cause an immune disorder, inflammation and other sicknesses.” Dr. Miller tell Mickey.     “Other sicknesses” Mickey said cutter off as she spoke.     “Yes” Yes Dr. Miller simply said to Mickey     “Okay so what does Yev have? You did the bone marrow thing and you have his result so what is it?” Mickey asked. And again, the pit of his stomach was turning and in a bad way. He knew; he just knew that the results were not good. That something was definitely wrong with his son….A parent knows these things, and he knew.     “Mickey… I want you.” Dr. Miller started to say and then stopped. She was thinking of the right thing she needed to say to him and so she did. “No, I need you to understand that this is something that is not uncommon in young children.” Dr. Miller began to say but then stop and looked at Mickey.     “Okay tell me! Tell me what’s wrong with my kid doc!” Mickey said as his voice broke at the end of the test “tell me what’s wrong with my baby so we can fix him.” Mickey said holding Yev closer to him. He was almost in tears, because of that look; that look Yev’s doctor is giving him was a look he knew he would never forget. A look of sadness, a look of I wish I was not telling you this kind of news look. A look of pain and regret.     “Before we did the bone marrow aspiration and biopsy, I already had a suspicion of what Yevgeny might have. But I needed to do this test to be sure and accurate. When I got the result and I made sure they were right and accurate. I ran the test over again to be sure, and I had our pediatric oncologist go over the test as well to make sure it was done correctly, and that it was accurate.” Dr. Miller tells him.       “Oncolo….” Mickey started to say but stops himself. He knew what an oncologist was. Right now he needed this to be not real. But he asked anyways, because what he was thinking could not be true?  This could not be happening to Yev and him, more importantly to Yev to his son. “Okay…..(Mickey took a few seconds to breathing in and out and looked up at the doctor as he spoke) so what did it say? The test, what did the test show?” Mickey asked quietly.     “Mickey……look there’s no way to say this without it being just….” Dr. Miller had plenty of patients over her time as a doctor with cancer. But breaking the news was never easy. Especially when your patient is a 3 and half year old boy and you have to sit here and tell his father that he has cancer. “It’s cancer, Mickey. Yevgeny has cancer. He has Leukemia; its cancer in the blood and at this point-”      From this point on Mickey didn’t hear another thing that was said to him. All he knew and all he heard from the doctor was that his son had cancer. His 3 year old son, who was the most happiest and innocent thing in this world; had cancer. He was diagnosed with Leukemia, a blood disease…what do you do now? How can you function, with what was just told to you!? How is this right? Why him and why now? This can’t be happening….not to Yev. Not when he has to live without a mom and a dad like Mickey, who felt like he was a shitty dad at that….No!     “Are you sure?” Mickey asked cutting off whatever Dr. Miller was saying.     Dr. Miller nodded her head as she spoke “Yes…we ran the test again and we made sure….Now we have to start treatment for him… it’s going to be a bumpy road, but you have to be strong for your son Mickey. We can put him on the donors list, among other things, but we need to get his insurance and we having to contact them.” Dr. Miller said but she stopped when she notice Mickey was zone and not responding to her “Mickey. (She said and walked up to him cautiously) Mickey?” Dr. Miller said again. She touched him and he jumped in response looking at her. “Mickey did you hear what I said…we have to start treatment for Yevgeny, start it now. We have to contact his medical insurance you have for him.”     Mickey shook his head he was still in shock. “We don’t have…I um. I pay for everything out of pocket. We can’t afford it and apparently I make too much to have medicated.” Mickey said flatly.     Dr. Miller looked at Mickey and spoke. “Well treatment is expensive Mr. Milkovich. I think you should try and apply for it again, and you will get it for Yevgeny at least. Then you can contact the insurance company and they can help you. We have an insurance department here in the hospital that can help you okay. You can also take out loans if necessary.” Dr. Miller said      Mickey nodded his head and gets up from his chair with Yev and walks over to Dr. Miller who gives him the paper work and copies of Yevgeny’s paper work. He remains quiet not saying anything but thinking of everything.   *****   Mickey was in the room with Yev and he just sat there. Looking at his son, remembering when his first Doctor told him Yev was sick. It kept playing over and over in his mind. It was like it was just yesterday that he got the new that changed his whole life forever. But if you asked him if he had any regrets for doing what he needed to do in order for his son to get treatment. Then Mickey would tell you no. There was no regret, only guilt was with him now.     Yev was sleeping; they were set to do chemotherapy in a few hours. Jimmy made sure everything was being taking care of. Dr. Cortes was Yev’s oncologist. She and Jimmy were the best in Mickey opinion and Yev liked her. The fact that Yev was sick again made Mickey feel like it was his fault. Even if Jimmy said it wasn’t, even if he knew it wasn’t. Doesn’t mean he didn’t feel like this was somehow his fault. Maybe if he paid better attention to Yevgeny, or maybe if he’d been around more, and not worked so fucking much he would have seen the signs. This was his fault somehow and Mickey just didn’t know how deal with it all. But right now he needed to think of himself last and think of Yev first and only. Mickey was brought out of his thoughts when someone in the room spoke.     “Hey” was all Fiona said and she walked in the room.     Mickey looked up at her with tears in his eyes and gave her small smile “Hey” was all he said and looked back at Yev and spoke “Jimmy is ah…he said that Dr. Cortes and him set up Chemo for Yev. There talking about radiation now and um.” Mickey tried to say and was having a hard time speaking. He took his a few breaths in and out and calmly started to talk. “There putting him on the donor list again. So fingers cross right?” Mickey says trying to sound hopeful and think of it. But the voice in his head sounded different from what his voice actually sound like on the outside.     Fiona nodded her head and walked over to him. “You know it’s okay right.” She said as she looks down at Mickey as he’s sitting on the chair next to Yev’s bed. He looks up at her and she spoke again “It’s okay to cry…you know breakdown once and be done with it. If not, you’re going to break Mick.” Fiona said to him cautiously.     Mickey shook his head “I can’t…not now anyways; I need to be strong, and he needs to know that.” Mickey says to Fiona.     “Mickey he does. Yev knows you’re strong, and he knows you’d do anything for him.” Fiona says sincerely. There was a moments of silence and then Fiona spoke again. “Mick…I know you don’t want to deal with any bullshit right now…but Ms. Bane is here. And um she needs to see us.” Fiona said to Mickey     Mickey looks at Fiona now with a confused face “What? What the fuck does she want?” Mickey asked.     Fiona shook her head “I don’t know Mick. She should’ve known Yev was in remission with the medical exam that Jimmy did on Yev at the hospital. He gave her all his information and medical history. I don’t know what she wants. But she’s waiting outside to talk to us.” Fiona said “I’ll have Debs come in here and watch over Yev while we talk to her okay.”     Mickey shook his head in disbelief. It was like the universe wanted to kick him down and make him pay for living and trying to do right by his son. FUCK! Mickey then stood up and wiped his face, but with no success could you not tell he wasn’t crying. “Fine…let’s go see what the fucking bitch wants.” Mickey said walking towards the door.     Debbie was at the door waiting for Fiona to tell her to go in and watch over Yev. When Mickey and Fiona got to the door, Debbie hugged Mickey tightly and went to sit next to Yevgeny as Mickey left the room to talk to fucking Veronica Bane. ***** Empty ***** Chapter Notes So Here is the next chapter. I would like to thank my beta Lianne she’s the best and I love her. I also want to thank you all for being here and still reading. Again school, work both being full time I didn't think it would take this long to get another chapter up, but I am working on the next one. Plus school does start again for me, no breaks at all. But please bear with me. I still love this fic, it won’t be abandon. It will just take a while to update because of school and work being full time. I also had a few personal issues but I'm okay now. I thank you all so much for still being with me on here and with my other fic as well. Love you all. I can't wait for your feed backs. Xoxox See the end of the chapter for more notes “Well I looked my demons in the eyes laid bare my chest, said ‘Do your best, destroy me, You see, I’ve been to hell and back so many times, I must admit you kind of bore me’” Ray Lamontagne       Mickey and Fiona both left Yevgeny in the room with Debbie as he slept to go deal with Ms. Veronica Bane As he and Fiona stepped out of the room; they walked into the waiting room. Ms. Bane, his pain in an ass of a social worker, was waiting inside the waiting room along with everyone else; Liam, Carl, Lip, and even Ian was there waiting on any new news about Yev. They were just as concerned as everyone else was, especially Liam. Liam is Yev’s best friend in the whole world and someone who Yev saw as family. They were, not they are brothers and now his brother was sick and he could do nothing about it. When Liam noticed Mickey and his sister walk in the room, he was the first person to get up and speak before anyone else could.     “How’s Yev? Is he okay?” Liam asked but then he shook his head and quickly said himself out loud. “No that’s a stupid fucking question.”     “Language, Liam!” Fiona said with no heat behind her voice, but you could see the worry on her face and hear the worry in her voice.     Liam chose to ignore his sister, “Well is HE up at least? Can we see him?” Liam asked still ignoring everyone else in the room.     Mickey shook his head while looking at Liam. “No he’s not up champ. Jimmy and Dr. Cortes gave him some pain meds, so he’s still sleeping. He won’t be up for a while.” Mickey said as neutral as he could.     “Well. What’s going to happen when he does get up?” Liam asked       Mickey was about to answer but then Ms. Bane interrupted as she spoke up and asked. “That’s what I’d like to know as well.” she said with some concern.     Mickey turned to Ms. Bane and gave her a look. “What the fuck do you think is going to happen to him? He was in remission, and now he’s not. You being his caseworker should know what’s going to happen next! You have his files, you know he was in remission and now he has to go through it all over again! But now the treatment will be worse and more advanced! What fucking more do you want to know?” Mickey said at the end as his voice cracked.     “Mr. Milkovich-” Ms. Bane tried to speak but Mickey cut her off     “No! You have the paperwork! You have his files and medical records right? Then you know he’s gonna have to go through it all over again! The chemo, the hair loss, the depression, all of it! Oh and now radiation; now he has to have radiation along with us trying to find him a new fucking donor! But that’s not even the worst part of it. No! No you see! The worst part is him going back on the transplant list, finding the donor and making sure that they will give my son a bone marrow! That’s the fucking hard part okay! So what they fuck more do you want to know!” Mickey shouted, upset with tears in his eyes that didn’t fall yet.     Ms. Bane had a shocked looked on her face from Mickey’s outburst. She quickly gathered herself up and gave Mickey a sympathetic look. “Look, Mr. Milkovich (she sighs), I know you’re upset. I know you’re pissed off at the world, I get it.”     “No! No, the fuck you don’t! You don’t get it. No one here gets it okay? You have no idea what’s running through my mind right now. So no you don’t get it.     Ms. Bane sighed. “No. You’re right I don’t get it. I don’t have a child who is sick like Yev. I do have many children, who count on me, but you’re right, I don’t have a child of my own and I am sorry, I truly am. I don’t know what your mind is going through but I can tell you’re hurting. But unfortunately I have to do my job, and I need you to at least cooperate with me for a bit. There are things I need to ask you and I need you do bear with me. The sooner this is over the soon I can help Yev in any way I know is possible. Protocols are put in place for a reason and I have to do my job. The things I have to ask you, I have to know up front, no matter what the paperwork says that I have in front of me.” she said looking directly at him. “But be that as it may, Yevgeny is still in the custody of the state, and I am still in charge! And I have to know what is going to happen to him before and after! It’s my job.” she said firmly to Mickey. “Now if we can please speak to private I have to ask you a few questions and I need the latest reports on Yevgeny medical condition. Those I have already requested from his doctors, but I still need to speak to you, please!”     Mickey glared at Ms. Bane and it didn’t go unnoticed that Fiona was also glaring at her. “Are you serious? Are you fucking serious right now? My kid is in the other room sick, and you want to talk? What the fuck can we possibly talk about in private that you don’t already know?!” Mickey said directly to her. “What do you want to know? Do you want to know how it’s going to be for him? Okay, I’ll tell you? He’s going to wake up in pain!” Mickey started to say.     “Mr. Milkovich!” Ms. Bane tried to say.     Mickey continued on talking, ignoring Ms. Bane’s request. “He’s going to cry and ask why? Why dad? Why me? Why now daddy?” Mickey continued on talking.     “Mr. Milkovich please!” Ms. Bane tried to plead with Mickey.     “No, you want to know right?” Mickey said looking dead straight at her, ignoring everyone around him as he spoke to Ms. Bane. “After that, he’s gonna shut down. He’s gonna question everything, then he’s going to ask and wonder what he did wrong! ……..My son-My son who is 10 fucking years old! Who’s going to be 11 in a few days is going to blame himself!” Mickey said emotionally. “Do you know what that’s like? Do you know what it’s like to stand by and not be able to take away his pain! For him to be there lying on that bed and think it’s his fault when it’s really mines!” Mickey said with tears coming down his face. He quickly wipes them away from his face as fast as they come down, but he wasn’t done talking yet. “Then…Then-he-has to go into chemo, after chemo and he won’t eat so do you know what they do?” Mickey asked her in a low sad voice.     “Mickey!” It was Fiona who now said his name brokenly as she was silently crying herself.     “No” Mickey said looking at Fiona then back at Ms. Bane “Do you know what they do?” He asked Ms. Bane again, and all Ms. Veronica Bane could do in answering him was to shake her head no in response. “No! Okay.” Mickey said as he trembled with his words as he spoke. He couldn’t keep his emotions in check anymore and no one could blame him at this point. “I’ll tell you what they do, I’ll tell you. See right now they’ve done all the testing they can do, just so you know.” Mickey said sarcastically to Ms. Bane because he honestly was done with it all. “They’re prepping him for chemo, which is a shitty thing for a 10 year old; a shitty thing for any child really, any adult, any one.” Mickey said and wiped his hands across his face and looked back at Ms. Bane again as he spoke “But you see when he gets chemo, he’ll be weak. This is what happened to him the last time and this is exactly what is going to happen to him again. Barely able to eat, he’ll barely smile, or even be active, he’ll hardly look alive.” Mickey said in a shaken voice. “His hair will fall out.” Mickey said in a whisper but everyone heard him. He had to stop and catch himself from bursting out in tears, into a sobbing mess which he already was. Mickey looked up at the ceiling and continued on talking, trying to compose himself. “His hair. Will fall out.” Mickey paused for a second. “He um, he’ll get upset. He will probably try really hard to not let anyone see him. He’ll cry and then I have to try and calm him down which is never easy but I do it.” Mickey said and he just stares off looking at nothing as he continues to talk. “He will he shut down. Emotionally he will shut down, and get depressed, which then becomes a problem. He already won’t have much of an appetite because of the chemo but they give him something for that and even if they give him medicine to try and eat he won’t because he’s so tired and gone.”     “Mickey?” Fiona tried again to speak to him to see if he would stop, but once Mickey started there was no way he would stop until he got his point across. He turned to Fiona in a flash and spoke out.     “No!” Mickey snapped out, not meaning to snap at Fiona but right now he didn’t care. With everything that was happening right now he couldn’t help but feel emotional and pissed off. So if Ms. Bane wanted to know everything she was going to get every-fucking bit of information from Mickey that she wanted. “She wants to know so she’s gonna know!” Mickey said still looking at Fiona. “She’s gonna know that they’re gonna fucking put an IV in his arm so he can eat and get some type of food in him. Then this part, oh man, this part sucks the worst for him because he cries every fucking time they used to do this to him.” Mickey then turned away from Fiona and looked back at Ms. Bane as he spoke to her again. “They’re going to fucking put a catheter in him because it will be too hard for him to get up from bed because he’s too weak. Then I’ll be here to make sure he’s cleaned up because he won’t let no-one except for me, Fiona, and one other nurse clean him up. But by far the chemotherapy is the worst. But now! Oh-no you see-you-see now we have radiation to think about as well.” Mickey looked at Ms. Bane with so much pain, anger and hurt in his face that even she couldn’t turn away from him. “See I have little to no fucking clue as to what is going to happen to my son with all this shit again. But now; now it’s just a waiting game. So you see, now you have the whole picture.” Mickey said sarcastically. “And that’s just the fucking PJ version you’re getting. You want the real life experience or the r rated version?” Mickey asked but he didn’t let Ms. Bane answer. “Stick the fuck around and see for yourself!” Mickey shouted out with tears coming down his face. He was too exhausted to wipe them away.     During a few moments of no one speaking Mickey tried to calm himself down, but when he went to leave the room Ms. Bane spoke. “Mr. Milkovich I know this is hard, trust me.” she tried to say to him.     “No you don’t know! You have no fucking idea how hard this is for me or him!” Mickey said as he pointed towards Yev’s room where he was sleeping. “You have no idea! You have no idea how as a parent I’m supposed to fucking protect my little boy and I can’t!” Mickey said emotionally. “It should be me and it’s not. It should be me in there! He’s just a little boy.” Mickey said to her.     Ms. Bane sighed. “You’re right I don’t and I’m sorry. I truly, really am sorry Mickey. But these questions are procedure Mr. Milkovich, I have Yevgeny’s case files and I’ve read what I was able to in a short time. But I need to ask you a few concerning questions that need answering.” Ms. Bane said as Mickey looked at her and she could tell he was mentally exhausted. “Look I’m not trying to make things worse for anyone here. Yevgeny in particular.”     Mickey was looking at Ms. Bane like she was crazy. “You’re kidding with me right? Do you have any idea what is going on in my mind right now, let alone my sons?” Mickey said as he turned around and looked out the door and breathed in and out to calm himself down. Then he turned and looked at Ms. Bane again shaking his head.  “Right now as me and you are in here, as we speak, my son is in his hospital bed fighting for his life! And you know exactly why he’s in here in the first place? He’s sick! And yet you-say you don’t want to make shit worse yet you’re still here? What the fuck more do you want to ask? What the fuck more do you want to know that you don’t already know?” Mickey asked her. He was annoyed and frustrated with the caseworker. He knew he couldn’t send her away, but for him to answer any questions that she had for him at a time like this when he wasn’t thinking straight was not a good idea.     “I understand. But the information I need from you was and is the same question I was going to ask you when we met at Mrs. Gallagher house. Now I can come back later, but I’m sure you would want to give me what you can now so I can do my work faster. It would be better for everyone. Social services can also help with any cost you may need help with for Yevgeny if we can, but right now I need you to cooperate with me. That’s all I’m asking of you right now.” Ms. Bane said to Mickey. Mickey sighed and shook his head and he looked away from Ms. Bane, looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds before he looked back directly at her. Ms. Bane saw tears in his eyes and as much as it hurt to see a parent who clearly cared for their child, she needed to do her job.  She’d seen many parents neglect their child or children, and use them in any way possible. She seen many forms of abuse within the children in her care, but she could also see when a parent loved their child. It wasn’t often that she got cases where parents didn’t fight her back sadly. However she wasn’t surprised at the backlash Mickey was giving her. A good parent always fought for their child, but in many cases so did bad parents. It was in her rights and in the states rights to make sure Yevgeny was well taken care of and that his parent could provide a healthy home for him. It was just certain things on Yev’s file that needed to be answered.  “Look I’m trying to figure a few things out, okay? A few things don’t add up as I was looking at Yev file. Now if I saw these things, that means anyone else who would have taken his case would also wonder as well. I’m not trying to be difficult here. In many cases being able to keep a parent and child together is always best. But sometimes it’s not. What I wanted to ask and know so that I can put in Yev’s file was about the medical cost for his treatment and surgeries he has had over the years from his cancer. The amount you make at your job doesn’t add up to the cost that was spent. I see that you still have a balance, yet you seemed to have paid for the majority of his treatment between credit cards and cash. I’m no expert but you don’t make enough. Which has me wondering how did you afford his treatments and medication as well as hospital stay? His mother had no form of life insurance, and even so, your insurance wasn’t able to cover some of these costs if any of them at all.. You were denied a few times because they said you both didn’t qualify which I think is ridiculous to be honest. And there’s also a matter of a few personal things that I think me and you should discuss in private.”     Mickey was in shock now. “This can’t be fucking happening right now.” Mickey said to himself lowly. His greatest fear was coming out and he felt like that he was going to die.     “Look, I’m asking you this because I’m doing my job. Not only physically, and mentally, but financially I have to see if any parent, not just you, are fit to raise his or her child. Like I said if I saw this then  so would my boss, I’m sure you simply  borrowed the money or I don’t know, came into some cash, but I have to know.” the caseworker pressed on.   Mickey shook his head and was mentally cursing himself. He didn’t understand and he was trying hard to understand all of this. “I don’t get it? What does this have to with Yevgeny and me and this case?” Mickey asked Ms. Bane.     “Because you were charged with abandonment and leaving a child alone to fend for themselves as well as the charges of abuse from the bruises that were reported on him. I know that the bruises were from him playing around and due to his treatment and I know that he is prone to easily bruise in most cases. Plus it was documented by the hospital from his last visit. I made sure that that charge was dropped because I know from his condition that he is easily able to get bruises from rough housing around. He’s a young boy anyone with the right mind would know kids get hurt all the time. But it’s my job to know and find out if it was accidental or not. In this case I know that it was. However the other charges I have to look into and reckless endangerment is leaving a minor alone to fend for his or herself. We have to see and make sure you weren’t doing anything illegal or any illegal activities to have been able to pay for his treatment. And believe me I have seen parents do much worse to bring in income for their homes illegally. In addition to that we documented the bruises on his body and that alone would bring up suspicion of many different causes. Anyone can come up with something and say you were doing something illegal. But again I know the bruises weren’t you.” Ms. Bane said to Mickey.     “The bruises on his body were because of his sickness, not me! Plus I would never do that to Yev! I would never hurt him in anyway!” Mickey nearly shouted out. He was beyond upset that anyone would accuse him of physically abusing Yevgeny. He himself was physically abused as a kid and would never do such thing to his child or any child for that matter. It made him sick to his stomach to think of it.     “Mr. Milkovich I get that, I do. I see it, and I see you have a great support system, but it’s my job to investigate to make sure that any child under my watch of care is safe. Whether it’s their parents, foster parents, homes, or anyone that they’re in the care of, I have to make sure that their safety is number 1 priority. I have to make sure.” Ms. Bane said passionately. “People think that I want to take away their children on purpose but I don’t. I don’t want to rip a family apart, but I made a promise to myself and every child that comes my way that I would make sure that they are safe. So please. Just work with me a little. And I’ll work with you.” Ms. Bane said tiredly.     Mickey sighed and put his hands to his face nodding his head. “What do you want to know?” Mickey asked her as he went to the chair and sat down.     “Well I was able to get the schedule from Yev’s school as well as his after- school schedule which was a good thing. It coincides with the times you are at work, and also when he’s not in after-school, I got the letter from Ms. Debbie Gallagher stating she watches Yevgeny when you are working. I also have a few statements from your co-workers at work who say you’re a good dad and that sometimes Yevgeny will be in the diner doing his homework while you work, that you even stop working to help him when he needs it.” Ms. Bane said and turned to look at Mickey. “You’re a good dad. I can see that.” Ms. Bane said as she was writing a few things down and going over her book that had Mickey and Yevgeny’s files in. “You don’t see many parents like that in my line of work.” Ms. Bane said lowly to herself but Mickey heard her but said nothing. “Now, the income of money is where I’m having trouble understanding, I have to make sure you didn’t do anything illegal. I see you have a steady paying job, but I was told you have another one at night. That’s where a red flag comes in for me. I have no documentation what so ever of income you have from either a night job, nor do I know where you work at night in order for me to corroborate that story. Many of your co-workers said you have a night job and passed up a manager’s job at the diner because you work at night. I will need that information as well as the information about the payments for Yevgeny’s treatment. If your evening job helped out and I have that on file with the numbers here than everything should be okay. Can you please tell me how you were able to pay what you could in cash? It’s thousands of thousands of dollars and you always wrote a money order to the hospital, I can see it here.” Ms. Bane said to Mickey as she was looking over the other forms and paperwork she had in her folder.     “The-the money. Um ah, a lot of it was from tips from the restaurant.” Mickey began to say to Ms. Bane. He knew that just saying his tips was not enough of an explanation; it was nowhere near enough for the amount of money that was spent on Yevgeny’s hospital stay and treatments. He didn’t know what to do but he knew he had to come up with something fast and just as he was about to talk again, Charlie showed up walking in through the doors of the waiting room.     Everyone in the room turned to look up as Charlie came through the doors, when he spotted Mickey, he made a beeline for him. “Baby?” Charlie said just as went right up to Mickey. Mickey at first looked stunned at first but stood up as Charlie came  up to him and kissed Mickey. And just for second Mickey was shocked but recovered as he kissed Charlie back and then hugged him tight. Just as both men hugged one another, Charlie whispered in Mickey’s ear “Go with it.” and stepped back to look at Mickey. “You okay?” Charlie asked Mickey plainly and Mickey just shook his head no. “Fuck that’s a stupid question Mickey I’m sorry. How’s Yev? Can I see him?” Charlie asked Mickey.     Mickey knew that Charlie really was worried about Yev and that this wasn’t just an act for the sake of it. He remembers Charlie calling him, but he didn’t answer his phone. Fiona answered it, so she must have talked to Charlie about Yev being in the hospital and told him what was happening. Unlike their convincing kiss that they had just had, Mickey knew Charlie was scared out of his mind about Yevgeny, just like he was. Mickey shakes his head. “No. He’s, um sleeping now. If you go in now, he’s just gonna be sleeping. They have him on pain meds. He was in pain and he was crying.” Mickey said trying not to choke up but failed. Just as Mickey is about to ask Charlie something, his thoughts and emotions are cut off by Ms. Bane.     “Excuse me Sir, who are you?” she asked.     Charlie turned around to look at the middle aged woman. “I’m Charlie Ivanov, Mickey’s partner.” Charlie said casually like it was nothing. Then again, it’s not the first time they’ve played this game to help one another out of a jam. Fiona didn’t look surprised at all either, but everyone else was slightly taken back by that information. Fiona had played that little game with Mickey before in the past and it was never a problem. Ian however was taken back a bit more than everyone else. He showed it in his face but he kept quiet. However it didn’t go unnoticed from Mickey or Fiona how his hands had turned into  fists. Lip didn’t have much to say as he didn’t know if it was true or not, so he stood off to the side with a neutral facial expression. “And you are?” Charlie asked Veronica Bane.     Ms. Bane looked at Mickey and then at Charlie for a moment. She then wrote something down on her notepad before she answered Charlie’s question. “I’m Ms. Veronica Bane, social worker for Yevgeny Milkovich.” She answered as she stuck her hand out to shake Charlie's hand “So your Mr. Milkovich’s partner?” she asked. “Because I don’t remember or recall seeing or having anything on file about Mr. Milkovich having a partner.” she said to both of the men.     “Well Mickey and I-are kind of a thing.” Charlie said casually. “See we tried it a few years ago and it didn’t work out so much. I’ve known Mickey for over 10 years, my best friend and he was married; Svetlana Milkovich, Yevgeny’s mother? Anyway, after she passed we tried to keep in touch, but when Yev got sick the first time, I was right there for him. We got together shortly after, but it didn’t seem like the right time because it felt like we only got together because Yev got sick.  Like it was a way to just comfort one another and we didn’t want to lie to one another. In times like that, people who are in distress do things that they feel is right at the time. But it just wasn’t our time, I guess. But we did decide to just remain close friends.” Charlie said looking at Mickey and smiling at him. “It wasn’t until later on we figured we could try again seeing as we still had feelings for one another. Yev was in remission, doing great and I was still in love with Mickey. I never fell out of love with him, but I didn’t really know how he felt till I made a move. I mean I personally think it was going to happen since we started working with one another and I-” Charlie tried to continue on but then Ms. Bane cut him off.     “Wait! You two work with one another?” Ms. Bane asked     “Yes.” Charlie said matter of fact. “I own a few clubs in the city and Mickey manages them for me at night. Does a lot of the work really! He practically owns them. Why? Is there something wrong with two people who are romantically involved working together?” Charlie asked in a sassy manner.     “No! No-not at all, if you can work with one another it’s fine, but my reason for asking is because as Yevgeny’s caseworker I need to know and make sure if Mr. Milkovich is capable of being financially able to take care of Yevgeny. Even if he wasn’t we would assist him in any way we can but he would be under strict supervision. I just needed to know and document what Mr. Milkovich’s other job was since it was brought to my attention that he had another job. It’s for our records and I needed to make sure of some things such as him not being a neglectful father or abandoning him, that sort of thing.” Ms. Bane said     “Well I can tell you Mickey is the best dad I know. There’s no way in hell that he would neglect Yev or abandon him in any way. He works his ass off. He works with me at night most nights but not all the time. I would say three nights a week and other nights he’s home with Yev.” Charlie said to Ms. Bane.     “So you don’t live with him?” Ms. Bane asked Charlie. She knew the answer before he even spoke, but she wanted to see if he was lying to her, because if he was, then things for Mickey and Yevgeny’s case were going to get worse.     “Oh, no-no-no. We’re still trying to feel things out more. Plus we didn’t want Yev to get his hopes up in case me and Charlie didn’t work out.” Mickey now said cutting Charlie off.     Ms. Bane looked at Mickey and Charlie and then began to write something else down on her notepad that neither him nor Charlie could see. “Okay. So Mickey works for you, do you have any paperwork that you can send me at a later date and time so that I can review them and put them in his file. Also I need to know the income he brings in for his evening manager position at your club.” Ms. Bane said addressing Charlie only now.     “Oh yeah I can get you that, he’s my employee, but as far as income goes I give him whatever he needs.” Charlie simply said to Ms. Bane.     Ms. Bane gave Charlie a puzzled look. “What do you mean?” She asked     “Well it’s exactly like I said. I Charlie” Charlie said pointing at himself “give Mickey here, whatever he needs. See when Yevgeny got sick I tried to help out in any way that I could. I tried to give Mickey anything he wanted, like money wise and support wise. But Mickey doesn’t like hands out and he doesn’t like the feeling of being in debt to someone, even me for that matter. So I would pay him a few hundred bucks in the beginning and then later on thousand or so. It was like he was volunteering to work for me for the money. It was the only way he would take the cash freely. Usually in cash, sometimes checks, but I still gave him whatever he needed if he came to the club. He would double check the numbers, order things that we need, make sure we were up to building code, all of that. Only if it was a couple nights a week, I still gave him whatever money he needed. I do have other managers and supervisory staff but Mickey oversees them from time to time too. He’s more of a helper to me than anything, but I have him down as a-ah freelance employee who comes in from time to time; much more like a part time employee in a way really when you think about it.” Charlie told Ms. Bane.     Ms. Bane sighs. “That is a lot of money over the years you’ve given him. I mean freelance work I get it.”     “But I still have a balance with the hospital, plus I never took a vacation, so I would cash out my vacation checks and I would make a lot of money in tips. And-and you have the credit cards I would use to make payments with when I could, and my bank statements show I have nothing to hide.” Mickey said to Ms. Bane.     Ms. Bane nods her head and looks down at her pad. “Okay look. I see you can care for your son, I see that you do care for him and have a great support system. So, what I am going to need from Mr. Ivanov is all this information he has told me as soon as possible if that is alright with you, and any letters from co-workers as well from the club.” Ms. Bane said to Charlie and Mickey.     “Of course anything you need.” Charlie said then looked back at Mickey with a soft smile on his face. He placed his right hand on Mickey’s left cheek brushing his thumb over it. “You want to talk?”  he said lowly to Mickey. Mickey nodded his head yes and Charlie grabbed Mickey’s hand, squeezing it. “We’re going to go outside and talk for a  bit” Charlie said to everyone in the room “Anyone need anything while we go out?”     “No Charlie, no I need to stay close in case Yev needs me. We can talk in his room quietly while he sleeps. What if he gets up or something happens to him? I need to be here for him.” Mickey said hushed.   “Mick we’re just going to go to the café okay? Not far, I promise. Look if anything does happen, Fiona or anyone here will call you okay? This place knows you and who you are by your mouth alone.” Charlie said jokingly to Mickey.  Mickey shakes his head in disagreement and is about to argue with Charlie.             “Mickey listen to Charlie.” Fiona said to him and Mickey turns to look at her. “Go out for a bit, get some fresh air. You’re only going to get yourself sick. You know you can’t do much for him while he’s sleeping. It will be okay. Debs is with him right now and I will be with him. It’s only going to be 5-10 minutes tops okay. Go get me a hot chocolate. You know when Yev gets up he’s going to want one as well okay. You need some fresh air.” Fiona said to Mickey who was all for not leaving the pediatric ward for anything.     “Mrs. Gallagher’s right Mr. Milkovich, you should go out and get some air and come back inside. I have to go and get a few things sorted and start on this paperwork for Yevgeny. But child-services is going to stay in touch with the hospital, as well as with Mrs. Gallagher and you as well, Mr. Milkovich. We’ll see what we can do from our end. Right now I’m going to do this paperwork and get out of your hair, but here.” Ms. Bane gave Mickey her card with her number on it. “If you need anything, even if it’s to talk to a random person call me.” Ms. Bane said as she gathered her things and went out the door.     As soon as Ms. Bane left, Charlie dragged Mickey out of the waiting room. It was hard to get him to leave the hospital area where Yev was at, but Charlie managed to get him to the downstairs cafeteria. Mickey took in a deep breath and tried his hardest not to freak out. He needed to give himself a few moments to collect his thoughts. So much had happened in one day, and so many questions had been asked; questions from the doctors when he brought Yev into the hospital, questions from the social worker, and then Mickey was questioning himself as well. Was he a good father to Yev? Why didn’t he see this happening? Why didn’t he see the signs? Why wasn’t he paying more attention to Yev? Why did he let his own personal issues get in the way of things? Or why didn’t he see that Yev was getting sick which then caused him to relapse from his remission? Why didn’t he see any of it?! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY!     Mickey did he research, the day Yev was diagnosed he did months of research, years of looking into leukemia and seeing the rate of survival and living with this shitty virus. He spent long hours reading all he could and trying his best to know as much as he could. But even now he still had so many questions to ask the doctors. He wanted to know what was going on now; like exactly what was going on. Give him the medical definition or give him anything, all he wanted was to know what did he have to do to make it better, and what did he have to do to make sure Yev got everything he needed. He wanted to know what was going to happen next and what he needed to do for Yevgeny. It was a lot to processes in one go and right now he felt like he was going to break down. It was so much to take in, yet it took all of his will power not to break. To not cry and break down, to not to curse the universe, or whatever god was out there for letting this happen to his little boy again. Right now Mickey couldn’t do that he couldn’t afford to break down. Not when Yevgeny needed him the most. Even so, Mickey felt like he had no one to lean on for him to break down. It was something he was familiar with.  A part of him knew he had people here for support, but for some reason it felt like there wasn’t really anybody, in a way. Mickey would be damned if he fell and let anyone see him at his weakest, even his own son. This was where he needed to stand up and stay strong for his child, for his little boy who was lying in the hospital bedroom fighting again for his life….he had to stay strong for Yev. Yev was all that mattered and nothing more. Yev has always been the only thing that mattered to Mickey in his life. Yet Mickey felt like he failed that. Failed to be there for his son, failed to be the father he was supposed to be and protect him and love him. He failed to protect the one good thing in his life he swore he would never hurt.        Mickey shook himself out of his thoughts. There was no time to think like that, there was no time to go back to that dark place. Time was something he couldn’t waste on thoughts and feelings like that. Mickey found himself walking outside of the hospital cafeteria and going outside to the parking lot. He leant up against the wall and just stared off into nothing. His thoughts were consuming him and as much as he tried to stop them, they kept on going. He took a deep breath and breathed out slowly trying to think of positive thoughts. “He’s going to be okay, he’s going to be okay.” he repeated to himself over and over again. “We’re going to be okay, he has to be okay.” But even though Mickey was repeating this over and over again, his mind went back to thinking bad thoughts. Thinking that what if the hospital tells him that something else is wrong with Yev, or that he can’t go on the donors list because he’s too sick again. Or what happens if the chemo and radiation doesn’t work on Yev and that they can’t find a donor on time, then they would tell him that he only has a little while to…no he couldn’t handle that. Mickey couldn’t handle the thought of not having his son in his life. Not having your child in your life, your own flesh and blood living here with you was like death. It would be like living in hell but 10 times-no 1000 times if not worse…Life would mean nothing, and living would be pointless to Mickey if he didn’t have Yevgeny.     “Mick?” Charlie said, but Mickey was still muttering to himself “We’re going to be okay, he has to be okay.” over and over again. It wasn’t until Charlie touched Mickey’s arm that he brought him out of his own thoughts. Mickey looked up at Charlie giving him the best fake smile he could. Charlie being Charlie knew it was fake but smiled back anyway. “Yeah?” Mickey said to Charlie. “You’re doing it again.” Charlie said to Mickey. “Doing what?” Mickey said in response to Charlie, looking at him as if he was the one having a mental breakdown in his head. Charlie tapped Mickey’s head as he spoke to him. “Thinking too much to a point where you break. Stop it!” Charlie said to Mickey firmly but with no heat behind it to indicate he was annoyed or angry with him. He just wanted Mickey to try and stop thinking negatively. Mickey looked at Charlie for a bit then lowly said “What?”   Charlie gave Mickey a small smile then hugged him tightly as he spoke to him. “Stop thinking the worst Mickey. I know it’s hard, I know it hurts, but try not to think the worst of the worst okay?” Charlie said emotionally as his voice cracked a little. He leaned back from his hug with Mickey and looked at Mickey. Charlie was trying hard to not to cry himself and Mickey could see how he was holding his tears back as his eyes were glassy. “Try not to think of what will go wrong because nothing will go wrong! Yev will be okay, you have to believe that.” Charlie said hard, so not only he could believe but so Mickey would as well.  “Charlie” Mickey said with a sigh. “You don’t get it man.”     “You’re right! I know I don’t.” Charlie said as he took a step closer to Mickey. “But I know what I see, and I know that right now inside that head of yours you’re battling your internal thoughts. Thoughts that will have you thinking shit you don’t need to be thinking about. So I’m going to be that other voice that tells you to stop and hold you and tell you it’s going to be okay. Because Mickey it has to be okay! And if you believe that he’s not then I can’t do that! You can’t do that!” Charlie said with tears threatening to spill down his face. “He has to be okay.” Charlie whispered to Mickey. Mickey looked at Charlie and gave him the best small smile he could muster while nodding his head at him. “Charlie I know. I know. It is hard, but I know.” Mickey said releasing a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.     For a few moments they were both silent and didn’t say anything. Both men just stood outside letting the breeze of the cool air hit them. Mickey needed this, he needed a reality check, and he needed to stop thinking so negatively. But even with him thinking positive it was that little voice in his head that told him to prepare for the worst. The feeling he had in his gut was a bad one, but he wouldn’t allow himself to go there to that place in his mind. Charlie was right, Mickey needed to believe and know that Yev would be okay. He needed to fight his doubts and try his hardest to believe that things would work out. But if they didn’t Mickey would fight like hell for them both. He be damned if he lost the only thing in his life that mattered the most.     ****** Once Mickey had enough fresh air in his system, Mickey and Charlie went back inside the hospital. Mickey didn’t go back into the waiting room; instead he went straight to Yevgeny’s room.  Charlie was not far behind him but he did stop at the door entrance. Mickey thanked Debbie for watching Yev and told her she could take a break if she wanted to. Debbie got up from her chair and hugged Mickey tight. It was words that were unspoken that meant so much to him. She told him she was going to get something to eat but she would be right back. Mickey nodded his head but said nothing; he looked over at Charlie who was still at the door looking inside the room but only at Yevgeny as he was lying down in his bed sleeping. “You can come in you know. Just don’t stand there like a fucking statue. Kid will be up soon hopefully.”  was all that Mickey said to Charlie and with that Charlie made his way to the other side of Yevgeny’s bed taking the sleeping boys hand and holding it as if it was the most cherished thing in the world. Charlie held Yev’s hand in his hand and brought it up to his lips giving it a kiss as he let a few tears out. “Aren’t you supposed to be the strong one here? Now you’re crying.” Mickey said with smug look on his face. “Fuck you.” Charlie whispered out. “I will cry my ass off and still be strong.” Charlie shot back at Mickey smiling at him. Mickey shook his head and looked back at Yevgeny as he slept and it broke him inside to see Yev like this. To see his son lying in bed with tubes in him, a breathing mask on his face, an IV drop in his left arm, while his right hand had a needle as well, most likely it was the medicine they were giving Yevgeny. Soon he would have to wake up. The chemo or radiation would start today and he still had to make the right decision for Yevgeny, to decide which treatment to do and which was best for him. They needed to get Yevgeny’s fever down since it was high when he came in. His body was having a hard time fighting his fever off, and right now they needed Yev to be in the best possible health before things could start. One of the oncologist nurses came in to check on Yevgeny’s blood pressure, pulse, breathing, and temperature again. Yev’s body needed to be strong and somewhat healthy if he was going to get chemo again, or maybe radiation this time around. Mickey wasn’t sure which one he was going to pick, or which one was going to be best for Yevgeny.     The doctors had mentioned it and Mickey knew that it was possible that Yevgeny may get radiation if they felt it was best, it being Yevgeny’s first time relapsing he may get both chemo and radiation. There were so many possibilities; Jimmy even told him that his doctor may suggest that or just an intensive form of chemo instead. It was going to be different this time around. They had to do more tests, Yev had to be put on the donors list again, because he knew the chemo would end up killing the good cells in Yev’s body while trying to eliminate the bad ones in his system. It was a lot to think about, and then if Yev needed radiation instead, what the hell could that cause, what would be the side effects? How will it work?  It was scary for Mickey, but he knew it must have been 10 times scarier for Yevgeny to be going through all of this again. Yevgeny looked so helpless as he slept in his hospital bed, yet he looked peaceful as well since he wasn’t in pain due to the medication they gave him.  It dawned on Mickey on how the fuck did they get from somewhere somewhat happy as he believed, to somewhere somewhat okay and doing well, to this. To this right here right now! Where did it all go wrong? What did he do wrong?     Mickey was brought out his train of thought when Dr. Cortes and Jimmy walked in the room. Mickey looked over at them as they approached Yevgeny and him. “Hello Mickey.” Dr. Cortes said to him. He could tell she was sad to see him and Yev here under these conditions, but she kept it professional. “Hey Doc.” Mickey said in reply, which caused her to smile a little at him. Mickey was never one for calling Dr. Cortes by her first name or last name. He just seemed to always give her a nickname, which she enjoyed oddly but never showed it. “Hey.” Mickey said to Jimmy who said hey back to him as well.  “So! Tell me the bad news or good news if we got any.” Mickey said in a calm voice, as calm as it could be.     “Well it’s both good and bad, I know how you prefer to just rip the band aide off and not have us sugar coat things for you.” Dr. Cortes said. “You’re right! So tell me what’s up. What are we looking at here? Give me the bad news first Doc.” Mickey said as Dr. Cortes sighed and went to Yevgeny’s chart.  “Well the first thing we want to do is get the disease back into remission, now I’m not going to lie you, it’s going to be one hell of a ride from here on out. It’s going to be more difficult than it was the first time. The chemotherapy treatment we want to start now as soon as possible, however it’s going to be a higher dose of chemotherapy than last time that Yevgeny will be receiving.  Also we have to discuss if it’s only going to be chemotherapy or radiation along with it. This time around his treatment is going to be very intensive so we are going to do our best to make sure he is comfortable the whole time he is here. Just like before he will be at a higher risk with the treatment. Since he’s turning 10 he’s considered a high risk which is another reason as to why the treatment will be more intense than it was a few years ago. Along with the period of time he was in remission he is considered high risk.  A lot is depending on his health overall right now.”     “Wait a minute? Why? Why is it that his age and the time he was in remission makes him a higher risk than he was before when he was 3 ½ years old?” Mickey asked confused. “I don’t get it, even when we started his treatment when he was a baby wasn’t he always at risk? And now you’re saying that because he’s relapsed and because he’s 10 that he’s at an even higher risk than he was before?” Mickey asked Dr. Cortes. He didn’t get why was Yev at a higher risk now because he was older, if anything he thought because he was older he wouldn’t be as much of a risk versus when he as a baby and his immune system were small and weak. “Yev was about 7 years old when he went into remission and got his transplant? I don’t get it?” Mickey said to himself as he was looking down at Yevgeny who was still sleeping.   “There are a lot of factors that contribute to it. Yes, Yevgeny was cancer free at the age of 7 years, and went into remission but it’s the years he was in remission along with receiving therapy that’s the cause. Meaning it’s what we call a late relapse.  Treatment for him and getting a second transplant is possible, but it’s going to pose some serious risks even with the fact that Yev is strong and healthy. The chemotherapy and if you decided to go with it, the radiation therapy is going to take a toll on his body. Even though all of his recent check-ups show that he was in good health we still have to face the fact that this is going to be a heavy battle for him and you as well. Now we have to find a new donor for him.”     Why? What happened to the old donor? Why can’t we use her again?” Mickey asked, both shocked and concerned all at once. Why couldn’t they use the same donor as before? That just made no sense to him at all whatsoever.     Dr. Cortes and Jimmy both gave Mickey a sad look but it was Jimmy who spoke. “Sadly she passed away a year ago. She was an organ donor so all of her organs went to other patients.” Jimmy said to Mickey who just nodded his head and looked even more disappointed and worried at the same time.     “So there’s a lot of bad news today, isn’t there.” Mickey said sarcastically out loud. He just couldn’t believe his luck on this, on Yev. He really truly wished that he could trade places with his son right now at this moment.  “So what about everything else, like why did it come back or what happened exactly to make this all come about?” Mickey asked. He wanted to know as much as possible; he wanted to understand how something like Yevgeny’s cancer could just all of a sudden come back.     “I don’t know if you remember but because of his immune system and in certain cancers dealing with ALL (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia) there’s a set of cells in his immune system that become leukemia. These are what we call B cells, now there are other cells that are called the T cells, normally these cells recognize and attack invading diseases, but with the form of cancer that Yev has and in certain cancers what happens is that abnormal leukemia cells fly under the radar of the normal T cells that are meant to kill them; it’s the reason for his relapse.” Dr. Cortes told Mickey.     Mickey nodded his head at the information given to him. “Okay…okay-so you’re saying that his T cells aren’t working right and that because no one was able to see that, that-that’s the reason why his cancer is back?” Mickey asked Dr. Cortes. He was trying to figure out and understand everything that was going on with Yevgeny.     “In a case like this yes, Yevgeny’s b-cells are likely to become infected because his body is no longer protecting the B cells. His t-cells are okay and haven’t been affected yet, because they can as well but you know as well we do, that we don’t understand what causes the B-cells in any child or adult’s body to react the way they do. That’s why we are making sure he stays hydrated, the IV in his arm is feeding him at the moment, and we are making sure he doesn’t get any infection. That is my biggest concern here. We don’t want him to get sick before we start treatment on him. He came in with a fever and we want to lower that down and get it back to a normal temperature before we start treatment of any kind. That brings me to the next thing I wanted to discuss with you.  We’ve been monitoring his fever which went down slightly but it’s not back to normal yet. We’ve got him on pain medication for his joints which have seemed to ease up a bit because we lowered the dosage of pain medication for him and he is reacting well to it.  We are monitoring his spleen and liver in case they become infected or inflamed as well. His lymph nodes are what concern me but so far he’s okay, but we are monitoring everything closely.” Dr. Cortes said to Mickey.     “Being that Yev was in remission and the cancer has come back we have to act fast. He was in remission for 3 years till today. Now the treatment of choice you have to pick from is decided from where the relapse occurred in his body. Relapse within children like Yevgeny happens unfortunately in every 15 to 20 percent of kids and we don’t know why? We just know where the cancer has originated from within his body.” Jimmy said to Mickey robotically. It was like he was trying hard not to get emotional in front of Mickey. The only reason why Jimmy was still on the case as one of Yevgeny’s doctors was because he told Dr. Cortes he would be 100 percent professional with this case and wouldn’t let his personal situation with the family get in the way of anything.     Mickey still couldn’t process it all, it was like everything was coming in at once and it was like he was on a roller coaster that didn’t stop but just kept going and going and going. He took a breath in and prepared himself for what he was going to say next and what the answer was going to be. “So where did it occur? Where did it spread to?” Mickey said holding his breath for dear life.     “In both his bone marrow and central nervous system it seems.” Dr. Cortes told Mickey as she stepped closer to Yevgeny bedside.     “Oh my fucking god.” Mickey said as his voice broke at the end putting his hands to his face trying hard not to break down and cry. This really could not be happening.     “After Dr. Gallagher assisted me with doing the bone marrow biopsy we also did a spinal tap which is a lumbar puncture. That is when we use a needle and insert it into the spinal canal. Like I said in some cases it’s usually less likely for the leukemia to affect the central nervous system however it is common when a patient like Yevgeny relapses. It’s rare, but it happens in some cases. In situations like these we recommend intensive therapy treatment, which is why we have to talk about the possibility of having the radiation done for him as well as the chemotherapy.” Dr. Cortes said to Mickey. “What?” Mickey said, looking at her now. He knew that would be an opinion, but having it said out loud made it real for him.     “Well there are many different forms of treatment for Yevgeny. Right now the leukemia is in his bone marrow and central nervous system. So we have to act fast, we can do only chemotherapy, which is going to be intensive, or we can do both chemotherapy and radiation, or just radiation and the radiation would be about a more intensive treatment. There are also clinical trials we can talk about as well. Right now is the time to ask all the questions so I can give you the best answers to help you out whichever choice you make for Yev’s treatment plan.” Dr. Cortes said. “As always Mickey I will answer anything you need to know, because right now we need to decide which is best for Yevgeny and fast. I don’t want to pressure you but I’m going to give you all the answers you need and then from there you can decide what is best for him.” she said to Mickey. It was never easy telling parents good or bad new, but being in a career as a doctor was never easy, but as cliché as it was, it rewarding most of the time.     “Okay… Okay-so with radiation what will happen? Like what are the side effects? What’s the pros and cons to it? I mean is radiation the only opinion he’s got or what? You said we can do a clinical trial or chemo but it will be more intensive, like how intensive? Like why use radiation or both, why is it needed? Does he like have to have that and chemo or just radiation? And how long will radiation take or be for him? How does the radiation work!? Yev only had chemo when he was younger, is he going to get more sick or is he going to be able to do anything or what? What does it do exactly?” Mickey asked out in a rush. It was like a do or die situation at this very moment. Each question had to be answered for him because right now his decision was going to be the one that would affect Yevgeny in the long run but it would affect him as well. Call him selfish, call him fucked up, but if Yevgeny got worse and didn’t make it because of him, then that would be on Mickey, because he fucked up and made the wrong choice. Being a parent we make decisions based on what we know and what we think is right. But right now, at this moment Mickey didn’t know what was the right or wrong. What choice should he make in a situation like this? This was not in any parenting book he had ever read when Yev was a baby, this was never in any of the pamphlets he got. How do you make the right choice? But another question some may ask themselves is; how do you live with the choices that you’ve made? And if so, can you live with what you thought was the right decision? What if it was the wrong one? But then again how would you as a parent, as a person, know?       So each question and every answer made a difference in choosing the right kind of treatment for Yevgeny. Everything counted as if it was his life that was depended on it, because in reality it was. Yevgeny’s life depended on which treatment Mickey chose for his son, and he prayed to the universe or whatever god was out there that it would be the right choice for Yevgeny. Without his son in his life Mickey was nothing and that was the truth.     “Radiation therapy kills the cancer cells; we didn’t use it when he was younger because chemotherapy was sufficient. Now however, we can treat it to make sure that the leukemia doesn’t spread throughout the rest of his body, especially brain and testicles. It hasn’t spread that far, but I want to do another test, just to be sure in case of anything. If everything comes back good, as good as can be then that means we caught the relapse in its early stage and in a way that’s a good thing. But if it has spread we are still good, we would just have to use a different approach of treatment is all. With that I have to tell you and of course let you know what kinds of treatments we can offer.  Some parents chose radiation treatment and some just refuse it out right. But the only time radiation is used is when any of the sanctuary disease sites like the brain, spine or testicles are infected with the disease. His relapse has occurred in his bone marrow and central nervous system. Which is why sometimes some parents give the okay to use radiation treatment; it’s rare but they sometimes feels it’s best to use a mix of radiation and chemo.     “Now you know why we are doing radiation?” Dr. Cortes asked Mickey “Yeah and no, why if he’s already going to be going through radiation treatment, is he going to get a higher dosage in chemotherapy? So it spread to his spinal cord and-and you said it could spread to his brain and testicles?” “Yes. In some rare cases we do surgery for this. The reason for surgery would be only be if the leukemia cells have spread widely throughout his bone marrow and other part of his organs though his blood. That is why surgery is rare in most case it would only be needed if it has spread to his brain and testicles. If it does spread and that is a big if we have the best surgeon on staff and if it does spread to his tentacles’ we would have to have surgery remove the one or both.” Dr. Cortes told Mickey in the only way she knew how to. Mickey didn’t want anything to be sugar-coated for him, he wanted the truth, he wanted to the facts. Even if it did hurt like hell to hear, he needed to know.     “Oh my fucking god!” Mickey said cover his face. This information was raw, it was real, it was really happening. To hear that there was chance that his baby boy could go through all this was so much to bear. He truly wished that it was him in that hospital bed and not his son. He would do anything in this world to trade places with him, to take away his pain, to be the one to take it all and suffer. No child should suffer so much like this. It was literally ripping Mickey into pieces. How do you protect your own child from something you have no control over. How do you shelter them from a world of pain, loss, and diseases?  Mickey didn’t want to hear anymore but he needed to know what Yevgeny and he were going to face with the radiation being a treatment now that the cancer had come back.     “Look Mickey, we won’t let that happen.” Jimmy said to him making him look up at both doctors in the room. “Plus Yevgeny’s test results showed that it hasn’t spread that far and we caught it at the early stages.” Jimmy said. Mickey nodded his head at the information. “So the radiation treatment is for what again?” Mickey asked trying to keep himself composed. “The reason we are doing radiation treatment and why we strongly recommend it to you is because what we want to do is make sure that since we caught it at the early stages we are able to kill or damage the cancer cells without hurting too many of the health cells, giving us a chance to go in and give Yev his chemotherapy treatment and his transplant when we find a matching donor.”  Jimmy told Mickey.     “Okay…okay so there’s going to be side effects?” Mickey asked. He knew there was going to be and it felt stupid for him to ask, but he needed to hear it for it to be real. “Yes, just like the chemotherapy Yev will be tired a lot, his skin may change where we will be treating the area as well as probably some mild redness to burning and peeling of the skin. He will lose his hair, just like with the chemotherapy in the past.  He may experience nausea and vomiting, diarrhea is a possibility as well and his blood cell count will be lower than usual. That leads to fatigue as you know and shortness of breath and it will increase the risk for infection from his low blood cell count. In addition to that just like with the chemotherapy he won’t have much of an appetite and will be moody. But it does depend on the patient and everyone has different side effect from this form of treatment. Another thing to consider with radiation treatment is that the effects on Yev’s body is permeant” Dr. Cortes said to Mickey. She wanted him to process everything she was saying about radiation treatment, however she wasn’t done yet.     Okay like what? What may or may not happen?” Mickey asked. Doctor Cortes walked over to the side of Yevgeny’s bed crossing her arms as she started talking to Mickey. “With radiation there is always a chance of a secondary cancer developing in other places within the body, along with that, there is a possible chance that Yevgeny can become sterile and won’t be able to have children in the future, and there is risk of stroke or mental impairment.” Dr. Cortes said and just as she was finishing she heard Mickey curse under his breath. “Now if you do choose to go with radiation and chemotherapy it will be different. Yevgeny will be receiving radiation to his spine. Treatment for radiation varies in each patient; being that Yev is older it can be fast, it’s like him going through an x-ray machine. Since he’s older he can lay still which will be better for us and him. The only time it would be longer is if Yev is uncomfortable due to his joints hurting, and it can be uncomfortable in general. With that if he wants we can give him a sedative to make him sleep and calm him down while we run the machine. It only takes a few minutes and he is done. However the treatments will the lowest 1 week for 5 days a week anywhere up to 6 or 7 weeks but on average treatment is usually 4 to 5 weeks. Then we will remove the tumor that is there on his spinal cord and then we do chemotherapy. And you know chemotherapy will be long and it will last like it did before. We want to get this disease back into remission like I said but we also want Yevgeny’s body to be prepared for a transplant once it is available.” Dr. Cortes said to Mickey. “Are you okay as can be with everything I have told you so far?” she asked Mickey.     “Yes and no.” Mickey said with a sigh. “Okay…So what is the good news because you’re just- I’m just hearing a lot of bad, like really bad news here!” Mickey said. “The good news is that Yev has been put back on the donors list, but as a high priority and since he was in remission and has relapsed we were able to get him up a notch on the list, with the help of a few people. His blood is rare so right now we’re hoping for the best. That way we have a higher chance of him getting his donor and for him to get his surgery and get better as soon as possible. Also if you are able to get anyone you know who may be a donor for him that would help out a lot.” Dr. Cortes said to Mickey. “Yeah…even if they aren’t a match for him, they would be for another child.” Jimmy added in at the end.     “What about the clinical trials?” Mickey asked in hope. It was a long shot for him to ask. When he first asked for it for Yevgeny in the beginning, when all of this started, Yevgeny didn’t qualify and it broke Mickey that he didn’t. “What are we looking at it with that? Can he-like get it this time around? Because this radiation shit sounds like fucking hell and the last thing I want for Yev is to feel is like he’s dying. The last thing that I want for my son is to go through is hell and to have the possibility of him not being him again…that fucking sucks. I mean shit I know he’s feeling all sorts of shit being back here lying in bed fighting for his life, but …what else? What else is there that you guys can do to help my baby?” Mickey said desperately. The last thing he wanted was for Yev to every go through this again. The last thing any parent or any good parent is to see their child in bed fighting a battle that they can’t fight for them. It’s one of those things that if Mickey had it his way Yevgeny would never feel or go through any pain ever again. He wouldn’t be sick ever again because Mickey would take that away if he could. If Mickey had it his way he would be the one in this bed and not Yev.   “We’ll also run his lab tests to see which treatment is best for him. There’s the ALL subtype I told you about before. It’s when we review his results along with his age, the health he was in and his medical history, as well as how bad of an infection he had when he came in and his central nervous system. What we came up with for his treatment is using a different form of drug from before.  There are several different clinical trials we are looking into for Yevgeny, which he may be qualified for.  There’s one that looks promising, it’s the CAR T-cells therapy. There have been children who have been previously treated for leukemia that involves the B cells that contain the cancer. The study showed that if we take the patient's white blood cells, which are the t-cells, that we could modify them in order to target the cancer. We would basically be redirecting and engineering his t cells. However we have to see if he does qualify for that trial. There is other choices I am recommending such as lofarabine. That drug has already been approved to treat pediatric patients with acute leukemia. It’s also being studied in combination with other drugs such as mitoxantrone in clinical trials for the treatment of children whose Acute Lymphocytes Leukemia has relapsed. Then there’s also an immunotherapies form of treatment. We have Monoclonal antibodies rituximab (Rituxan®), alemtuzumab (Campath®), ofatumumab (Arzerra®) and these drugs are already approved for treatment of other blood cancers, and as of right now they are currently being studied for their use in combination with chemotherapy in clinical trials for any untreated and relapsed patients with acute leukemia. Blinatumomab is also another drug trial that involves the anti-CD19, CD3 T-cell engager. It’s approved for the treatment for a patient who has relapsed whose Ph-negative B-cell precursor Acute Lymphocyte Leukemia. Now for whatever reason if some of the trials we look into do not pan out, we can try other options as well.” Dr. Cortes told Mickey. She knew it was a lot of information to take in all at once but time was of the essence for them.     “Okay like what? If he doesn’t qualify for any of these or while we are waiting what else can we do? Because I really don’t want to give Yev radiation and if the trials don’t work out then what do we have to do?” Mickey said as calmly as he could. He didn’t want to think negative but at this moment with the bad luck they were having he needed to prepare for whatever was going to come his way the best he could.     “Well our opinion is to do a very intensive form of chemotherapy. It would involve higher doses of the chemotherapy drugs we would give him and a stem cell transplant is something I recommend we do for Yev now. Studies have shown that with more intensive chemotherapy even with the leukemia spreading that chemotherapy is better for patients even without radiation. The reason for that is because even though radiation is a good method, it’s just the effects of it that are critical to each case. You know some of the effects of radiation are similar to chemotherapy but also there is a possibility that Yev could develop a secondary cancer, become sterile as I mentioned to you, along with it possibly causing him to have trouble thinking, growth and even development. I want to try to get him back into remission but the choice is yours to make. Patients whom I do strongly recommend that they receive radiation treatment and chemotherapy treatment is when we find the leukemia in the latter stages. Even then each patient is different.   The choice is up to you of course, but do think about it the other choices you have. Either one will help save his life.”   “Okay so with the intensive chemo what might happen to Yev?” Mickey asked as his eyes stayed looking at Yevgeny while he was sleeping. Yev looked so fragile, yet peaceful as he was sleeping. Something Mickey could look at for hours and never get tired of.     “Well if you choose this form of treatment it might be effective, however there can be a chance of long-term bone marrow damage. The bone marrow forms new blood cells so by it being damaged it can cause life threatening infections, bleeding and other problems due to low blood cell count.  A stem cell transplant will allow me, and my team to use a high dose of chemotherapy to kill the cancer cells that are in Yev’s body. After this is done and Yev has finished his treatment, with the cancer being in remission we will be able to give him the transplant. With Yevgeny receiving a transplant like this his bone marrow can be restored. Blood-forming stem cells are what we call it. It’s basically when the stem cells from the transplant are obtained either from the blood or from the bone marrow; in this case it would be from a donor.” Dr. Cortes informed Mickey as she was writing things down on her clipboard and looking over at the machines that Yevgeny was on.     Mickey figured she was taking down the numbers and writing something on Yev’s chart. Mickey nodded his head with the information she was giving him. He still kept looking at Yev not taking his eyes away from his son. “Okay. Okay let’s start with that then. IF that is what you think is best then I want that for him now. I want that for him and then we can look more into the clinical trials if he qualifies for any of them. If his best shot is one of those trials I will pay anything for him to get it!” Mickey said desperately as he suddenly looked over at Dr. Cortes and Jimmy     “Okay” Dr. Cortes said to Mickey. “We’re going to start him on it soon, his fever as gone down and that is a good sign and his vitals are good. He’s a fighter Mickey, if anyone could pull through this it’s Yev and you know it.” Dr. Cortes said as she goes over to Mickey and puts her hand on his left shoulder. Mickey looks up at her and gives her a small smile that does reach his face. “We need you to sign some papers and then we can start treatment, okay? The paperwork Jimmy has for you here so you can sign it and I can get started with everything.” was all Dr. Cortes said as she moved out of the way as Jimmy walked up to Mickey and gave him the clip board with the paperwork for him to sign everything.       Everything seemed to go by in a blur for Mickey. It was the same documents he had signed before, years ago at the hospital that he and Yev were in the last time. Of course there was a few things that were different but none the less his signature was on the paper. Yev’s name was on the paper, Mickey giving his consent for treatment and that signature…his signature on the line.  It was like he was going in the motion of just signing paper after paper. It was all too real for it not to be true. The truth was that his son was sick again, and here they were, at it again 3 years later. Oh what a fucked up joke this would be if it were. Nothing could prepare Mickey for what was about to happen to him, not one god-damn thing!      Chapter End Notes Well there is more to come love you all. SO what did ya'll all think? I promise for the next chapter I'm writing now and won't have you guys waiting for so long like I did before. xoxoxo Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!