Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4298058.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band), Daniel_Sharman_-_Fandom, Louis_Tomlinson_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Louis_Tomlinson/Original_Female_Character(s), Daniel_Sharman/Original
      Female_Character(s), Daniel_Sharman/Original_Character(s), Louis
      Tomlinson/Original_Character(s)
  Character:
      Louis_Tomlinson, Ethan_Cooper, Elsa_Granger
  Additional Tags:
      Ballet, Dancing, Sports, Love, Romance, Angst, Drama, Humor, Comedy,
      Drama_&_Romance, Teenage_Drama, friends_-_Freeform, Sexual_Content, Sex,
      Unresolved_Sexual_Tension, Explicit_Sexual_Content, Smut, Fluff_and_Smut,
      Angst_and_Fluff_and_Smut, Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism, Substance_Abuse,
      Underage_Substance_Use, mature_-_Freeform, Rating:_NC17, Drugs, Smoking,
      Ballet_Dancer_Louis, Alternate_Universe_-_Ballet, AU, Alternate_Universe,
      Alternate_Universe_-_Non-Famous, Non-Famous_Louis, POV_First_Person, POV
      Female_Character, POV_Original_Character, Louis-centric, Dark_Comedy,
      Daniel_Sharman-centric, Teenage_One_Direction, One-Sided_Relationship,
      One-Sided_Attraction, One_Night_Stands, Inspired_by_a_Movie, Movie
      Reference, Work_In_Progress, Explicit_Language
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-07-08 Updated: 2015-09-03 Chapters: 4/? Words: 12050
****** Life Doesn't Hold Tryouts ******
by prismdreams
Summary
     I said as soon as I came to the American Ballet Academy that I wasn't
     going to be distracted. I'll try my best to keep that promise. If
     only he wasn't so mesmerizing it wouldn't be such a challenge for
     me... But then I was stuck with him so everything just became a
     clusterfuck.
***** Chapter 1 *****
[LDHT]
Elsa
From the moment I could move I knew I wanted to be a world class ballerina
star.
Of course life doesn't make that or anything else competitive easy for me. I
know that world, I know it well. I knew exactly what it took to pass through
the strides of how ruthless it really is. I am still a pupil, 18-years-old,
perfectly fresh in my element to live my dream. Hey, when you're young and spry
you have to take advantage of it while you can.
The prerequisite to being a ballerina is simple. You don't have to develop an
eating disorder but, and this is sad to admit even as a third party, it
actually helps you move more freely around the room. I guess it partly
explained why we maintain such a petite frame. We sort of have to. Too much
muscle and your partner can lift you properly. More fat than muscle and you're
just fucked. I might have participated a few times in the ritual in high school
just to keep the weight down.
Ballerinas are essentially complex creatures. We're not particularly muscular,
we do eat but it's mainly in small, bird-like quantities so we use that energy
to expel onto the floor routines. I don't make protein shakes as much as I used
to. My strict diet has remained the same since I was 13. Don't ask it's highly
boring things. If I actually eat, I binge and then throw it up. I have to so I
can maintain my weight. Being on a strict diet can drive you fucking crazy. It
came with the territory I guess.
I am just so glad I made it. I fought for this long and hard. All I saw was
this life and now I'm finally touching it like it's real.
NYC is going to be a trip for someone like me. I lived in the city briefly
growing up on the West Coast so I naturally prepped myself for what's to come.
There's a distinct New York smell one has to adapt to in order to make it here.
I was beginning to see what they meant as I left the airport.
I made my way from the long plane ride to the airport to the train stop that
will take me to the ABA, The American Ballet Academy, also known as the most
prestigious school for people who want the same thing I want: to win and be the
best. To kick metaphorically every girl down the totem pole of ballet. Why get
in the game if you're not primed for the sport? Ballet to girls is just as
intensive as say, professional football or soccer to guys. Same ball of wax,
different gender.
I guess what separated me from most people in the sport is I feel every ounce
of what I do, my passion is my drive. I try to keep my insecurities away where
they belong. In this world, you have no room to feel sorry for yourself. You
stumble, you get right back up. I could have studied medicine and still had
these feelings about the ballet world.
The story of my life wasn't a cliché either. My family was far from perfect but
we are respectful of one another more of less. It helps when you're an only
child. My parents wanted me to study a real career and not focus on ballet. In
the end I won out because the rule was as soon as I turned 18, it was my
decision. My parents sufficed to say went along with my choice but they didn't
have gargantuan smiles on their faces. It was more the worried, anguished
expression that came with "well if you fail and come crawling back to us, don't
say we didn't tell you so."
And that was never going to happen. My life has changed for the better now that
I don't have the added pressure from my parents to become some kind of scholar.
I'm starting to think parents just say they want you to succeed but only on
their terms. I didn't worry about it too much. I was going to be living in NYC,
the land of opportunity. Err, so they tell me. I don't know, ask the Statue of
Liberty.
Here's the skinny on what I left back home besides personal, noxious excuses
for supportive parents: I had a boyfriend.
Well, OK, had is the operative word here. He and I – the boyfriend – knew it
was over when he realized it was just something we couldn't grow with. I told
him I was 18 and I still have things I want to do. This is what sucks about
relationships in high school: one person usually has to make the sacrifices for
the other or it's going to fall apart. And…it fell apart. It wasn't as if I
wanted it to. How could I choose between a boy (my personal definition for what
my boyfriend really is, a boy I was infatuated over) and my dreams leading to
happiness? I left him. I couldn't talk to him anymore because all he would do
was stare at me as if I was the one who caused the break to happen. I reckon it
was because we just weren't meant to be together forever. What's forever
anyway? Relationships? I wouldn't go that far. I really didn't want to be
tearful over it either like some little girl.
So I left him. Vanished. Like he and were never together. I know, sounds like
I'm in the wrong for doing that and therefore I didn't feel anything from our
times together. Truthfully, I didn't want to have a breakdown over it. I didn't
want to go through all those days, weeks, months of allowing myself to be
vulnerable because I chose to become a ballerina prodigy. Mind you, I did love
my boyfriend. But it's in the past. He was what was, not what is. I made sure
to delete every form of contact I had with him before leaving in case he would
try to convince me to stay. His personality could have reached out to me many
times. I'm glad I took precautions to make sure that didn't happen.
I didn't need any distractions to begin with. Boys, relationships, love would
be detrimental to my path to success; even sex, well, it'd be hella hard to
swear off sex. Imagine that? I mean, I think Pitch Perfect is just a movie, for
fucks sake anyway. If you have casual sex with a guy it does not mean they
steal your power. Sex is natural and having it shouldn't be taken off the
table. I'll just leave that in the "maybe" pile. My boyfriend and I weren't
always sexually active, I take some blame for that citing I was a little bit
overworked when it came to my practices and concert recitals. I wanted to dance
and breathe dance so bad, and I wanted to be the principal dancer in all of our
center stage numbers. My life was achieving this one goal, plain and straight-
forward. Maybe that's why the break up didn't have a big impact on me. That
shit takes work anyway, more work I'm willing to give.
My cell phone buzzed loudly inside my jacket pocket. I cringed when I looked at
it. My parents. Did I want to deal with this now? To my better judgments, I
answered it anyway.
It was predictable as usual. My mom basically wanted to know if everything was
OK with arriving here to which I replied it was. No need to fill you in on the
boring conversation of the typical one-sided exchange of the worrying parent to
child. Thank god she was called away. I would have faked some kind of static
interference with a crumbled up piece of paper and switched off my phone then
and there. One of the things I planned to do was change my number. Just to keep
it on the safe side. They say if you're in a new place you should always have
your parents on speed dial just in case. I call bull shit. That only counts if
your parents aren't severely unhinged and live within driving distance of you.
Mine just want to control me. I won't give them that luxury.
As took my things out of the trunk of the cab, I looked to the cabby and
realized I didn't want to take my time. I heard taxi drivers leave if you're
slow so I made sure I got all my stuff together before he could grow annoyed in
his foreign accent.
I paid him and he sped off as soon as the next patron slid into the backseat.
Welcome to New York. Oh how I can't wait to not sleep for the first weeks of
being here.
If I could make it clear enough, I just wish to avoid guys for now. All guys.
They do nothing but cause my brain to fucking swirl so hard I feel like someone
took a puree mixer inside my skull. Nasty visual but I half don't care. It
needed to be said, sorry about that.
I turned around with my luggage and crashed into something hard. Fuck, this is
just my luck. On the first day I'm a spaz. I looked up and realized I shouldn't
have. Probably the most beautiful face/person/entity I've ever seen offered his
hand to help me stand and all I could do is look at it.
"Sorry, love, are you alright?" He asked, offering his hand to me.
I shook my head, clearing the fogginess as I took hold of his massive and soft
hand as it wrapped over mine. He lifted me up with ease, like I was a feather
or an empty suitcase to him. Holy shit. OK talk you doofus. Say something.
Anything.
"I'm such an idiot. Sorry for knocking you over. Yeah..." Oh Lord love a duck,
more spaziness from yours truly.
All I could do was stare and I didn't know a thing about him. He could be a
murderer, a stalker or the worst person ever like the son of some trust fund.
But all I could focus on was his perfect features.
"Right then…you dance?"
"What do I what?" I asked with wide eyes. Kill me now.
"Was just wondering if you dance? I saw your gym bag." He said, his eyes
sparkling way too quickly for me to keep up with.
I stupidly looked down, blushing as I pushed my blonde hair in front of my
cheeks so he wouldn't see it grow pinker by the second.
"Yeah, I do. It's my first day at the American Ballet Academy. I'm new here."
Wow I managed to get all that out of my mouth without shaking.
He nodded smoothly as his face twisted into a brilliant smile that light up
everything that was already beautiful about him. I dumbly stared on like a
thirsty puppy.
"I see. Well, I'll see you around. I'm Ethan Cooper by the way. I dance too.
Actually I teach part time over there at ABA." He said, and it was then I
noticed he was British.
Good god, if I ever wanted to fuck somebody's accent before they should just
lock me up for thinking all these nasty thoughts about it.
He stuck out his hand when he said his name. I realized he was still holding it
out for me to shake. I took it, more blushing, yikes. Thanks hormones. Can I
just for a moment try to be subtle?
"Elsa Granger. I'm uh, from the West Coast."
"I see then, whereabouts?"
"Oh, uh, San Francisco. The Bay Area." I smiled nervously. I really needed to
calm myself.
He did that smooth nodding again and I almost gasped. How could someone make
nodding sexy? Well it just happened.
"Pretty. I visited there with my family on Visa. Now I live here in New York."
Since he asked me I figured I'd ask him. "Where are you originally from?"
He grinned, every one of his straight, white teeth made an appearance. "I was
born in London, Hackney actually. Couldn't wait to get out personally."
There was an awkward beat that followed. I have no idea what or where Hackney
is but it sounds hella sexy. Oh my god I sound like a fan girl.
"Awesome." Way to kill the awkwardness.
"Did you need some help?"
"What?"
"I mean with your bags? I know where the building is. Did you want some help
with your suitcase? I felt how heavy it was when we bumped into each other."
Was he flirting? Yeah right, like someone that beautiful macking over me?
"Oh, umm, no not really. It isn't that heavy." I stopped myself before I could
continue. No need to drag out my life story.
I attempted to lift it up with my purse and my gym bag in the other; I didn't
mean to struggle with it all but I think he saw it.
"You sure? I insist. It's no matter for me."
I probably should have left by now but he was being so persistent, and nice to
go along with his pristine everything.
I shifted my weight before wincing. I wanted to say no before I embarrassed
myself even more but I didn't want him to leave.
"Thanks, Ethan is it?"
"Yeah, are you ready? Want to go?" He offered his hand again, this guy loves
being formal.
I nodded as he took my luggage off my grasp and dragged it with me while we
walked the rest of the way to the building. He knew the way pretty well. We cut
through a small alley way to get to the building much faster. The elevator ride
was so quiet. I tried not to make my quick breathing obvious but it wasn't
going to take. It was a small challenge. I felt extremely offended by how he is
and at the same time was entranced by it. As the elevator dinged to my floor I
finally breathed out normally.
After telling him where my dorm room was I pulled out the key and opened the
door, seeing a virtually empty room. Thank god my roommate wasn't here yet, I
would have to deal with that one later.
"Well, Elsa, this is where I leave you." Ethan said smooth as swimmer, Christ
this guy was microwaving my ovaries too fast for me to handle.
I smiled, as we brought my stuff inside and I turned to him. "Thank you."
"No problem love. The Resident Adviser is near the administration desk if you
need anything." Ethan added.
I totally forgot he worked here. OK, stop drooling, no wide eyes. Control the
urge to jump his bones. This must be illegal. But he was just offering to help,
it can't be that bad, can it?
I blushed while nodding as he waved off turning on his heel and giving me a
lingering look before leaving the hallway. I watched him get further away from
me and sighed deeply.
Oh boy, I'm in fucking trouble. Must cease and desist, unfortunately it's too
late. My eyes were following the obvious. It hurts, it physically hurts me.
Nice ass blondie.
I walked inside my room and closed the door slowly. I saw the first empty bed
and collapsed on it with the biggest smile on my face. The first smile I had
since I was invited to attend ABA.
***** Chapter 2 *****
                                    [LDHT]
After I settled into my room, more or less, I walked out to the front desk
where Ethan said the RA was. Nobody was around; it appeared that nobody was at
any of their desks. I didn't realize it was almost passed lunch time; usually
there would be at least one person in the back or something.
"Can I help you?"
A woman with red hair, tall, about 5'10" wearing some kind of Hillary Clinton
paints suit asked from behind a cubicle.
"Yes, oh, um, I'm looking for an official printout of my schedule. I tried
accessing my account online with my user name and password but it didn't work
for me. Can you help me log in?"
"Alright, let me see what the problem is. Can I have your ID and password?"
I looked at her funny. Did she expect me to say it out loud for everyone to
hear? Not technically everyone, just in case, you never knew who was lurking
around.
I grabbed a piece of notebook paper and wrote it down, handing it to her as she
stood up.
There was a bunch of typing, then waiting, followed by more typing, then a huge
amount of waiting. It'd been only 3 minutes and I was getting antsy.
I didn't notice my nails were drumming louder than I thought on the desk. The
woman looked at me crossly. Something tells me she wasn't the RA.
Glancing at the clock I took a seat on the waiting chairs. This is the same
feeling I get when I go to the doctor's office. She still isn't telling me
anything yet. I bit my nails, feeling my anxiety kick in. This is not looking
good. Hell, I could be kicked out of the school because of one typographical
error. Sometimes it takes something like that to ruin a person's life.
I stood up when I heard basically fingers drumming across a keyboard and zero
answers.
"Did you find the problem yet?" I didn't want to piss off the staff on the
first day but I tried to be brave.
"Yes, just a second Miss Granger."
Ugh I hate being called that. Always hated my last name. No I'm not related to
Hermione.
She printed a document and stood up to bring it over to me. "It was an error on
the technical part. Students are logging onto their accounts at the same time,
the traffic tends to make the site glitch. We're aware of the problem and I
sent an email to the site technical adviser to fix it."
I looked over my schedule. I was presently surprised that everything looked
normal. "Thank you. Can I keep this for my records?"
"Yes, make sure to keep it safe. I apologize for the delay. It should be
alright now for you to sign into your name."
She took 2 hours to tell me that everything is OK? Are these are the same nerds
that deal with data every day? Seriously though, I need to get out of here.
I half faked a smile before turning the corner to walk back to my room. No
roommate yet. I breathed in slowly. I was going to get one eventually.
I decided to take it easy, listen to some tunes before dealing with anyone
else.
"Howdy." I heard a sweet, southern voice say behind me and turned around. "How
are you?"
The girl was right out of a Tuck Everlasting novel. Soft blonde hair, big green
eyes, a pink suitcase and a smile that stretched across her face. Shit, she
looked too innocent. How am I going to get around this? It'd be impossible,
we're living together.
When she put her bag against the other empty bed she made her way to me, smile
still intact.
"I'm Bianca, nice to you meet you." She said, sticking out her hand for me.
What's with people and formalities here? "Hello," I shook her hand, not caring
that much. "Elsa, I hope you don't mind I took this bed."
She shrugged, "It's alright I don't care. I'm just so glad to be here."
I nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable. Neither of us were talking so I
started. She looked harmless, like a puppy.
"So, uh, where are you from?"
She sat on her bed and began taking stuff out of her back pack. "South
Carolina. Charlotte would be so hot right now, I'm glad New York has normal
seasons. What about you?"
"San Francisco, the Bay Area. It would be getting colder now. But still nice.
We're pretty windy in the Fall, icy in the Winter." Was I really rambling about
the weather?
She smiled again. Damn, her smile was blinding, I was struggling to see every
time she grinned wider. Straight white teeth. Semi jealous only. The rest of
her didn't look fake or put on. She seemed wholesome.
"How long have you been dancing?" she asked me.
"Forever, you?"
"That's usually my answer. Straight outta the womb I used to say. My Mama said
I used to kick her a lot when she was around loud music. She said as soon as I
came out, I was ready. I wasn't cut out to live near them and tend to the farm
so here I am."
So the cliché is still there. What's with Southern people and farms? Is that
the only job there besides a convenient store? It's like California and
realtors.
I genuinely smiled, I liked this girl. I don't know what it is but she seemed
cute. She was in the middle of telling a story when my phone buzzed. I thought
I turned that off.
Big surprise. Mother dearest.
"Did you need to get that? Sorry..." She bit her lip and I made sure my phone
was really off this time. I wanted to watch it shut off for proof.
"No it wasn't important. I didn't want distractions today anyway. Don't sweat
it."
"Alrighty then." She replied to me, her tone was uppity. Man, I wish I had her
pep.
Bianca stood up and began unpacking. I tried to preoccupy myself with my
things. I know I had to do this but I was too anxious. I wanted to do
something. Go somewhere. See something cool.
But I didn't do that, I kept quiet; until we spoke again. I didn't wanna be
rude or piss her off. We just met. It would be awkward if we didn't get along
for the rest of the semester.
I wondered what Ethan was doing, who he was do—wait that's rude. Well, is it?
He was giving me some vibes earlier. I couldn't help but remember it. I mean,
whatever, he probably had a girlfriend. Guys that look like him just don't
remain single for a while. If by some miracle he is, then that's a first for
the books.
"Checks." We heard behind us along with a double knock.
"Resident Adviser, need any help, let me know?" She said and left with that.
That was odd. I couldn't see the girl through the door well enough; she looked
skinnier than me. I think she had brunette hair. Not important.
Bianca and I looked at each other. Was she thinking what I was thinking?
"Wanna get outta here?" I piped.
"Yes!" She responded elated I asked and jumped up, getting her purse and moved
her stuff to the side.
"You don't wanna unpack?"
"Do you?"
She was thinking what I was. Thank God. I was beginning to get bored of this
place even though I just got here.
"Do you have your metro card?" I asked her as we got our things to get ready.
"Yeah, I made sure to take it everywhere I go."
"I'm going to have to get used to their train schedules. We're in the city. Do
you wanna get something to eat?"
She nodded as we locked up.
"I heard Serendipity is a nice one. Though it's a bit fancy. Is there some
place to eat where it's not so formal?"
Bianca made a noise as we rode the elevator down to the street level. "I think
there has to be some food court near the shopping centers. We had huge malls
back home and they always had places where students could like hang out and
stuff."
ABA should have more restaurants around it. I thought it did because the school
is so old and prestigious. But all I saw when we walked outside were pizza
joints. New York is known for its pizza but I wasn't in the mood for it. I know
that's kind of surprising, how could you not be? I'm a weirdo, I have to be in
the mood to eat things.
"Guess we have to travel to eat then." I lamented. Not at all looking forward
to this.
We hailed a cab but they didn't stop right away, some would pass us and ride to
pick someone else up. Typical. I guess I need to get used to that too.
While waiting at the curb for the street light to change so we could walk, I
heard something behind me and what that sounded like "look out" that followed.
Instantly I moved before a skateboarding douche almost took my head off. He
couldn't have been older than 12, kids these days.
Bianca and I shared the same look as we walked around for a while until we
spotted something that looked local, like a Panera Bread. We looked at each
other and nodded before making our way inside. Holy shit. Students and more
students. And it was loud, like a pep rally. Or it sounded like the piercing
cries of one.
"Do you want something? I can spot you." I had some extra cash and I kinda
wanted her to be my friend.
But she refuted, waving me off while reaching in her wallet for a $20 bill to
hand it to me. "I'll go get us a table. Can you order for me? Just a salad, I
don't want anything else."
Good, I was just getting fruit. "Sure thing; I'll meet you over when it's
ready."
"Oh I think they bring it to your table. See the numbers? When you order they
give you a number and they find you when it's ready."
Even better. "Thanks, I'll join you."
After I ordered, paid, got the change and brought the number with me, I went to
the back of the restaurant to look for Bianca. Just as I thought, one of the
last tables in the back. She still had a really cheerful demeanor. How the
freak does she do that? Amazing. And I'm the girl from California here,
shouldn't that be reversed? Maybe NYC is rubbing off on me already. Let's hope
not.
Our food came before we had a chance to chat. As soon as the waitress left, we
casually ate and continued talking.
"So you're from the South huh? Do you find the city scary yet?"
"No, well, I don't know…should I?" She arched her brow.
"I wouldn't be. There's good and bad in everything."
"That's true." Bianca said, while taking a forkful of lettuce in her mouth. "I
mean our school seems nice. I haven't met my teachers yet."
I cut up my apple before eating it, "I sort of met one already. He isn't my
teacher but he said he teaches at ABA."
"Oh, who's that?"
"Ethan Cooper." I said, nonchalantly.
Bianca's eyes expanded. "What? You actually met him? Like, wow! What was he
like? Was he hotter in person as he is on TV?"
I looked down, blushing. My face was on fire, I hoped she wouldn't notice. "He
did look good."
She snapped her fingers. "I knew it! Like I know my friends in dance class back
home used to drool over him a lot. I heard he was engaged to some famous girl,
they broke it off because she fell for another choreographer. It ended badly, I
mean, that's what I heard."
That was interesting. Suddenly Bianca knew more about Ethan and has never met
him. I met him but realized I don't know a thing about him.
"He seemed...nice. He helped me with my bags." I finished eating my apple and
wiped my hands. "Even made sure I got to the right building. Which I knew
already but I didn't wanna say bye...yet."
Bianca laughed as I smiled and blushed. I said I wasn't going to be a total sap
for guys but here I am, acting sappy and girlie.
"Well, that guy's a charmer. There's a rumor that now he's purposely hitting on
ballerinas because it reminds him of the girl he lost."
"Wow, that's deep. I don't think he was hitting on me. I think he was just
trying to be nice."
"You said he went to our room with you?"
I nodded and took a long sip of my iced water.
"Guys don't do that for no reason. He probably is nice but a lot of people talk
about him."
"People gossip. He's a celebrity, it happens. I didn't see him as cocky. I
think he was just normal guy." Who is the very definition of beauty and
perfection.

"Did you get his number?"
I shook my head. "I doubt he would have given it to me. He just left after I
was in my room. I think he thought you were coming and he just wanted to give
me some privacy."
"Well it's against the rules if he asked you out. Sorry if you liked him."
I laughed, feeling amused. That was harsh but true. "I barely knew him. It
doesn't matter; I am not interested in guys right now."
"I told myself that and the next second I got a boyfriend and a broken heart
the next. Be careful, you know what they say about not looking for it? You're
gonna...?"
"Still not care. Really, I think I'm like the only person these days who
actually wants to be single for a really long time."
She looked at me like she wasn't buying it but rolled her big eyes and let it
go. Good because I wasn't lying about that.
As we finished eating we threw away our garbage and walked back to our room.
Bianca is kinda nosy, a bit of a know-it-all, but I wasn't annoyed with her.
Deep down she was right about Ethan. Yes, he probably has a high maintenance
life. Yes, he's off limits because of the no student/teacher rule. Yes, I'm
seeing his face everywhere I go. And a big hell yes to the fact that I swore
off guys before coming here. That is still in effect. I don't want trouble. I
don't even want to flirt. I just want to dance and further my career. I wanna
stuff it in my parents' face that this was the right choice for me.
Ethan would just be a look no touch kind of guy. I can't let him, well, I won't
allow him to distract me. Part of me is hoping that most of my ballet class is
full of gay guys, certainly takes the pressure off for a change knowing they're
terrified of vaginas.
I logged onto Facebook and did a little spring cleaning. Every person I didn't
normally talk to I deleted and the people who were once upon a time
acquaintances are deleted and blocked. I have no idea why people from school
feel like they have to add you just because you both went to the same high
school. For fuck's sake, you bastards are not entitled. I've gotten more angsty
than hot. My boyfriend got deleted as soon as I dumped him. I debated whether
to block his ass too so I just clicked on yes. I heard this rumor that as soon
as you break up with someone there's a window of 6 months or so where you can
add each other, pretend you're over them or wanna be friends and as an added
bonus: spy on each others personal lives to figure out who're living better
after the break up. I win this one. Rumor has it my boyfriend reunited with his
first girlfriend—funny thought that was me—good for him.
I plugged my computer in to charge the battery and leaned back in the chair,
stretching my body. I never go a day without dancing. It felt so odd to me. I
got up, pulled out my yoga mat and did some warm up stretches. Bianca had gone
to get something and said she'd be back, I continued to stretch with my eyes
closed.
What I was doing technically wasn't dance but I needed to move my body
constantly, it's a habit ever since I started to seriously work out.
After a few minutes I just laid there, brushing off the building sweat that
formed on my forehead. I closed my eyes and I saw Ethan's face. What the hell?
This wasn't supposed to be like this. I can't afford to get boy crazy now.
There was a couple knocks at the door, thank god it was closed. I almost did
something that made me feel sheepish.
I wiped my face and pulled open the door, expecting Bianca who must have left
her keys.
"Hello," Ethan said smiling, oh good god no.
Startled, I crossed my arms, "Umm, hi. What are you doing here?"
"Me and some mates were going off to catch the Terminator flick. Wanna come
with?"
OK so this was awkward. Mainly because I'd be hanging out with a bunch of guys
and not alone with Ethan. But wait, isn't that a good thing? Not being alone
with Ethan?
I bit my lip. Bianca is sure taking her sweet time.
It's just a movie. It's harmless. Plus there's going to be witnesses, nothing
is going to happen. I should stop worrying already.
"Can I take a rain check on that? I just got in." Way to pass up a pg evening
and a free movie ticket. I loathe myself so hard now.
He frowned. "Oh OK, that's alright. Maybe some other time. Perhaps not with my
mates."
Yeah, that'll be the day. "We'll see. Thanks anyway. And thanks for earlier,
you know, for helping out."
"My pleasure. You could change your mind you know? It's just a movie; we won't
be going anywhere after." I get feeling he wasn't taking no for an answer.
I couldn't look at his face so I looked at the wall behind him.
I bit my lip hard, this is it, either I'm a chicken shit or I platonically make
this a reality. It's just a fucking movie.
"Let me change, can you wait a few minutes?" I slightly winced, biting my lip.
He winked and told me he will be waiting in the lobby. Ugh, alright, as I
closed the door I fumbled to get ready. I was already dressed but this was one
of those moments that called for an outfit for emergencies. I looked in the
mirror feeling decently satisfied and reapplied my make up emphasizing my best
features.
Part of me, scratch that—most of me was glad Bianca didn't come back before
Ethan had. Oh boy, OK, here I go.
***** Chapter 3 *****
                                    [LDHT]
I closed my eyes and swung back another shot as I turned to Ethan, feeling a
bit light headed I steadied myself on the stool. The pub was packed; it was
beginning to feel hot with all the warm, liquored up bodies basically back to
back to each other. Ethan's large hand touched my hip, making sure I was
standing straight. I stared into his eyes, almost losing myself in the all the
blue fog. The movie ended an hour ago but I didn't care.
"Thanks...I can handle it." God he smelled amazing; I almost leaned forward to
get a better whiff.
He smirked. "You sure? You looked like you were gonna tip over there. Good
thing I was here to catch you."
Feeling the tingling buzz of the shots hitting me, I titled my head playfully.
"No wonder you're a teacher, you're so damn strong. Bet you could lift 5 of us
ballerinas in the air if you wanted to." I tapped my finger against his face, I
was sure I touched it. I did it again to make sure it was true.
Ethan laughed, shaking his head. "Actually I wouldn't take my chance with the
lawsuits that would follow. You sure you're OK?"
I huffed up rolling my eyes. I wanted him to be hot to me, not act like one of
relatives. "Yes, quit asking. Like they say: "this is New York, if you can't
make it here, you're shit outta luck"."
Ethan looked at me with the corners of his mouth lifting up. "I think that's
only half of the saying."
"It is so not. What do you know anyway? You're British and fucking, well
fucking British, that's that."
"Nice, we can agree on the fact that I am still British. Are you still
American?"
I rolled my eyes, grabbing one more shot off the tray handed to me and threw it
back. Wiping my mouth I looked around for something resembled a clock. I had no
idea what time it is or where I was in New York, I knew it was sort of out of
the way of ABA. This buzz was super strong, I felt a little fuzzy then it went
away.
"Do you think we'll get into trouble?"
"By doing what?"
I pushed his shoulder playfully, shrugging. "Being out late, don't we have like
a curfew?"
He waved me off as if it was nothing. "They normally don't give a toss on the
first day. You really think that's coffee in their mugs?"
"Probably not. Didn't you say something about not going out after the movie?" I
smiled, feeling my cheeks growing red as I thought back earlier. "I totally
heard you say that."
Ethan shook his head almost laughing. "No, why would I say that? It's not like
it was too late and you didn't seem to have any plans."
I looked at him with one eye closed and one hand on my hip. "Yeah, yeah,
whatever. You could have just said you wanted to go out, my brain would have
said yes. I had to pretend to like an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie and actually
sit through that shit. Do you know how hard that is for me? All that broken
English coming at me that I didn't ask for, terrible emotional acting and the
terminator guy has one look, for real. Like whatever."
"Tell me how you really feel?" He smiled, drinking down the last of his beer.
"Couldn't have been that bad. I would have asked you but I didn't wanna be a
prick about it. Honestly I didn't think you'd come along."
I leaned my elbows on the counter, looking at him confused. "Why would do you
think that?"
He shrugged and asked for another bottle. "It was your first time in New York
and I didn't think you'd trust me enough. I don't know, I thought you were
cute; I also thought you were a little bit reserved. I didn't know if you liked
going out."
My jaw dropped as I scoffed, blowing hair out of my face. "You thought I was a
priss? Fuck you very much!"
I pushed his arm and huffed to my side. I felt the buzzing affects of the shots
warming my body but I ignored it. My common sense wanted so badly to peek
through, I was holding onto it for dear life.
"I didn't mean it like that babe. Just I thought you weren't gonna wanna hang
out with a total stranger."
My constant staring made it clear that I didn't care if he was a stranger. I
turned to him, biting my lip. "You seemed harmless. You only said it was a
movie, I clearly remember that part. Like I'm not that much of a lightweight."
He shrugged those broad shoulders of his again, "Well, I just asked you to hang
out. I didn't have a motive, maybe I wanted to show you a good time."
Smirking, I turned my body so I was directly facing his. "How good?"
Ethan leaned close to my face, so only I can hear him speak. "The kind where we
can both hold our liquor."
"Uhuh, yeah whatever," I said and narrowed my eyes, slightly disliking what he
said. "That is so not what I am. I can totally hold it. Look..."
I slipped off the stool and stood straight in front of him, my side foot was
wobbling but I tried to mask it quickly before he saw.
"You can barely stand, love." He said, casually drinking his beer as he smirked
at me. "You don't have to pretend around me babe. I can see it."
My jaw dropped. "It's not me I swear these shoes are killing me. I have
ballerina callous like you wouldn't believe." Did I really just confess my feet
were jacked up to a guy with a face like that?
He pretended to look down at my feet but glanced at me with that knowing stare.
"You're wearing flats love."
"There's a creak on the bottom of this floor. It's like uneven and throwing me
off. I swear I'm not like, hammered or anything."
It was then that I noticed Ethan's attention was pointed at the TV screen in
the corner of the pub. He wasn't even listening to me. Jesus we weren't even
together yet and already it feels like I should break up with him. But I can't
because, that face...I'm such a fucking pussy.
I steadied myself before he saw anything. Straightening my clothes and fixing
my hair; I know I probably looked like shit.
He wasn't looking at me, I give up. Fuck this, men and sports, I don't get it.
What's the obsession and how can it be stopped? I'm not exactly a dog but I
thought he said I was cute, guess he was just saying that. Ugh, I hate being
that girl that looks into everything a guy says.
I was so mad when I turned around and accidentally knocked over some beers off
the tap. The guys backed away before anything spilled on them but I'm sure they
got a good shower from my little oopsy daisy. The other two left and didn't
look my way but the other guy, wearing a dark purple beanie was wiping himself
off, giving me a crossed look. His jaw clenched and I gulped in place.
"Sorry about that." I said, trying to sound sincere, my head was feeling light
but I still realized what I did.
He narrowed his eyes, widening them but forgetting it as instantly as it came.
"You should watch what you're doing."
I looked over my shoulder as Ethan offered to help out, apologizing for me.
This is so embarrassing. My first night out with a gorgeous guy and I fuck it
up.
Ethan came forward to offer to pay for another tab but the guy put his hands
up, "Don't worry about it mate." He said, brushing it off.
There was something familiar about his face, I thought I might have seen it
before; thin lips, buried blue eyes, overall emo wardrobe and he was English
too to boot, but I couldn't place his accent. It seemed a lot grittier than
Ethan's. What do I know; I can't even remember my birthday right now.
The room was spinning and I had a second thought that if I didn't lie down
right now I was going to heave my organs out. Sorry for the visual, this was
getting weird for me. The guy I spilled the tab on looked at me with no
expression before nodding to Ethan and turning around to meet up with his
friends just coming from the restroom.
"Sorry, I forgot it was packed." My voice almost shook he didn't look amused by
that. I think I killed the mood inadvertently.
Ethan threw some money down on the counter and fixed on his jacket, pushing his
collar up.
"I think we should get going."
Well I really fucking did it this time. I tried looking at him with sober eyes
but it wasn't working. He wasn't even looking at me until I touched his elbow.
"Let's get a cab OK?" He said which broke me. The night is over, ugh, I hate
myself.
I dragged my body following behind him as we walked outside. It had gotten
colder since we were indoors. All those bodies were warming me up and I barely
knew it. Ethan seemed more standoffish when we were waiting outside. Maybe if I
could try and talk to him again, he may laugh at the entire thing thinking
nothing of it.
"I didn't think you were going to be like this. I'm not even drunk. Least I
know I'm not. What happened in there was a small little thing, promise." I
sounded oddly serious, probably because he was constantly looking anywhere but
on me.
Ethan checked on me then put his attention back on hailing a cab. There were
many people around us waiting for a free one. I had no idea what number we were
but it appeared we weren't aggressive enough.
"It's not you, love, trust me. I don't want you to get smashed then wake up the
next day regretting it. Sorry I misjudged you."
I touched his arm gently. "You said that before. Maybe I'm not a party girl
like you wanted. I thought, I don't know what I thought..."
Ethan rolled his eyes putting his hand down and faced me. "I didn't want that
either. I'm just saying maybe shots weren't the best way to have fun. So I'm
sorry about that. I didn't know your limit. I've had party girls, not
interested in those slags."
I'm not British but the term "slag" has run its meaning over my head, I
pretended I knew what he was talking about as I nodded. Even though he said
what he said I still thought I messed up my chances to get closer to him. Ugh,
I know! I know! I said no guys. But I would break my own rules for a guy like
Ethan. He didn't seem typical, far as I know.
"But you're still calling it a night..." I trailed off as he gave me an
unreadable glance.
"It's not you."
I could feel myself sobering up at his words and maybe I should just go home.
He kept saying that as if it's true. Whatever. I don't need to this shit.
If I was going to survive in New York I would have to do things on my own. I
hailed my own cab but it wasn't any use. Tons of cabbies were stuck in traffic
and it was hard to tell which one was actually in traffic and which were free.
Usually the ones that sped by next to you were the ones that weren't occupied.
"Elsa, you know I didn't mean it like that. You and I hanging around each other
is against the rules of the academy anyway. I'm sorry to bring that up but it's
true. I forgot about that because I enjoyed your company, I didn't care about
the rules. But if anyone from the academy sees us together, we could both get
into trouble. You understand what I'm trying to say?"
Bianca warned me about this too, I just hated that we have to abide by these
pissy rules even outside of ABA. "Yeah, I guess so."
"I'm not mad; could you look at me please?" He asked me, but I took my time
turning around. "It's just the way it is, I don't wanna get fired and you just
got here, I'd like to see more of you though. It'd be nice to watch you dance."
I blushed, trying to suppress it but my smile crept up, ruining my frown. "I'm
not Margot Fonteyn, you don't even know if I'm good."
He pursed his lips, making me stare at them while he spoke. "You're good enough
to get into ABA. That's the highest honor for ballet. It's San Francisco's
loss."
I heard a ringtone and instinctively felt my jeans, then I saw Ethan take his
phone out, looking at me with a pained expression as he slide the lock. He
mouthed an "I'm sorry" before answering it.
I wanted to say something but I bit my tongue back. Shifting my weight on one
side of my hip I waited, and did some more waiting. Just for fun, I waited a
little bit more because it just wasn't enough. Ethan was heavily into his
conversation, it sounded serious too. Shit! Fuck fuck! I watched him closely I
almost didn't hear a car's horn honking in front of me, making my body jump.
Not waiting to leave Ethan right away but seriously wanting to get home right
now I was torn. My mind was made up when I pulled the handle but a body slipped
through before I could get inside.
It was the emo asshole from before, the one I slipped the beer tab on. This was
so not fair. Fuck this guy!
"Hey what the fuck dick head!" I shouted at him getting inside before he could
do anything.
He looked at me with a smile on his face and nothing else. "Thank you, can you
shut the door? Or get out, you choose."
Rolling my eyes I didn't have time for this. "Get out this is my cab."
He scanned my face, looking at me incredulously. "Your cab? I don't see your
name on it." He looked in front of him. "This is Hahmil Zigmendi's cab. Sorry
mate if I mocked up your name there."
I have this overwhelming urge to punch this guy so hard he could feel it
generations back. "If you still want to procreate I suggest you leave, now."
"Not a huge fan of kids but I do like puppies. You're not getting anywhere near
my cock babe. Now are we going somewhere or are you gonna piss off while this
patient driver takes us home?"
"Are you stay or do you go? Fucking Brits and Americans." the cabby said in his
best broken English as Ethan finally came near the open door.
He leaned forward and looked at the two of us. "Oh you got one. OK cool. Hey
mate, sorry about before. Here take this..."
He handed the asshole next to me a couple $20 dollar bills as the guy pushed it
away. "Nah don't worry about it before—"
"No I mean, this is for the ride, for Elsa I mean. Do you know where
ABA—erm—American Ballet Academy building is?" He asked guy as the emo guy
nodded while I did a double take. What in the fuck is going on?
I touched his arm, ignoring how it felt for a moment. "What are you doing?
Aren't you coming with us—I mean me?"
"Sorry I've got to go. A couple of my mates called me and I gotta do this for
them. I'll see you in class. Bye." Ethan said as the guy next to me took the
money from Ethan and leaned back in his chair.
Ethan waved me off before I could say anything. There was no way I was going to
ride with this guy. Why did he have to give him money? That just ruined
everything right there. Fuck this so hard.
***** Chapter 4 *****
                                    [LDHT]
Ethan shut the door, waving me off again as he made a call and turned to walk
the other direction. I groaned; you could not only see it but hear it. I made
sure the moron next to me heard it loud and clear, I really was the queen of
scoffing.
"You are such a dick."
He chuckled, it was high pitched and loud like a child. "If I'm such a twat,
why did I offer to share my cab with you—"
"My cab douche bag."
"Like I said, your name isn't written anywhere, Elsa, is it?" He smiled. "Also
if I'm as rude as you say why did I forgive you for knocking over $30 worth of
imported German beer? I could have ripped you hard for that. Especially when
you had your boy apologize for you. Your apology wasn't even sincere but I
still let it go." He said, pocketing the money, telling the cab driver where to
go.
We had at the very least an hour ahead of us since Ethan and I made a lot of
trail when we walked around the city until we got to that pub. I braced myself
for the worst. This moron wanted me to respond but I wasn't gonna let him get
to me. This was going to be like a boomerang of passive aggressive insults. I
made sure to move as far as I could near the window.
"You don't have to be so quiet. I wasn't trying to mock on you. Just stating
facts."
I turned to him, giving him a real piece of my mind. "Talking is for people who
have something in common. We don't, so don't talk to me."
"Well that's not entirely true; we are going to the same destination."
"Whatever, Ethan told you to take me there but I don't need a babysitter and I
don't need a pen pal on the way."
"Dare to dream babe. Who said I was babysitting anyone? Man, you jump to
conclusions too bleeding fast."
I rolled my eyes, can't believe I'm doing this, "He basically told you to make
sure I got back OK."
"Well I don't know your history with him but it sounds like he cares about you
a little bit." I looked his way and he smiled again.
"That's not the sign of a guy who cares."
"Last I checked I am a guy. But I'd have to second guess him trusting me as a
total stranger in the process. Maybe it's something about my eyes or my smile
that got him."
"Whatever, I don't wanna talk about it. It's none of your business anyway."
"Alright then, suit yourself. Just saying if he didn't care, he would have told
you to piss off."
My eyes twisted together. "Kind of sounds like he just did. Now I'm stuck with
you."
"OK, that's fine. You can think of it that way; I'm not bent up over it. Just
observing how much that guy seems to care about you but you obviously don't see
it."
What does this guy have like a motor mouth without an off switch or something?
I heard something on his end that sounded like a "whatever" followed by a scoff
and I prayed that was the end.
After a few moments of silence I tapped the side of the door aimlessly. My face
tensed and I was beginning to doubt Ethan's intentions with me.
"Why would he do that?" I whispered, not thinking the guy would hear me.
"Do what?"
"Nothing...forget it."
"O-K well I don't see what was so wrong about what he did."
"Of course you don't."
In spite of all the emo, he's probably a straight guy so he didn't get it. I
sighed, ignoring his attempt to get me to talk to him. I have no idea why he
would want me to. Ethan should have given me the money, why would he give it to
a stranger?
Out of the corner of my eye I watched Mr. Can't Shut the Fuck Up pull off his
beanie to fix his hair by ruffling it out. He isn't a horrible looking guy if
he kept his mouth shut. I think most guys could benefit from not speaking; it
kept the stupid down tremendously.
The rest of the ride was silent and I was grateful for that. I thought he was
going to talk again but when I looked over, he was listening to something on
his phone and looking out of the open window, his extremely straight hair
blowing in the wind like a Bieber video.
I pulled out my phone and slide the lock. Ethan gave me his number before I
made a fool of myself earlier; I debated whether to send him a small text. I
was pissed off he sort of left me alone for the night, I would have enjoyed
riding back with him more than the little boy, know-it-all next to me.
Suddenly I had this really strong urge to hurl but I held it in as much as I
could until I saw the ABA building. Thank god it was only 15 minutes or I
wasn't going to last much longer. I'm sure boy wonder beside me wouldn't mind
the show.
Success, we made it. I had money for the cab but this guy insisted on paying
since Ethan gave him the money. I rolled my eyes, checking something in my
purse until I heard the receipt printed, making it my cue to bounce out of
there. I opened the door and made my way out onto the sidewalk trying to find
my footing.
I could walk just fine but for some reason my flats were failing me. This did
not look good. Behind me was the guy from the cab. I glared at him.
"What are you staring at?"
"Can you actually walk?" He asked me curiously with a mock laugh, lighting up a
cigarette.
I huffed forcing myself to get it together. I can do this, I can fucking walk
back. Ethan should have been my spotter not this guy.
"Yes, if you must know."
"Alright then," He puffed a long one, making his way to me, close to my face
and blew smoke right in my eyes. "Prove it."
Pushing my hair from my eyes I straightened my body out and tried walking a
straight line without tittering. I was doing pretty well actually; I gave
myself a mental pat on the back until I skidded over slightly. I recovered fine
in my opinion.
"I wanted to see if you were paying attention; that was intentional." I said
almost too quickly.
"Sure it was babe." He retorted.
I checked back at him as he made his way closer to me, giving me the hand
gesture to go ahead. I flipped him the bird and composed myself for another go
at it.
This is getting annoying. I can god damn do this. Why do I have to prepare so
much like it was scary? I know I can handle my drink I'm so not a lightweight
like Ethan and apparently this guy thought.
"Let me know if you need a spotter." I'm starting to hate the British accent
all of a sudden.
I could feel the smirk on his face as I tried my hardest to put one put foot in
front of the other. I kept thinking of walking down the aisle of a wedding. I
kept that image with me until I was a few steps out. Growing more confidant
with myself I looked back and smiled my victory as my body came down; I was
saved by hands hitting the asphalt. I heard him running to me, feeling his eyes
on me as I refused to look at him.
"You alright? That didn't look so good, are you hurt?"
I felt so embarrassed I thought I was going to cry right there but I bit it
back; it took everything in me to hold back the tears that wanted to drip down
my face.
"Yes..." I looked at his face, ignoring the genuine concern it held and tried
to stand up on my own.
His hand helped me support myself as I rose up to meet his height. He wasn't
any more taller than I, average for a guy. Ethan was taller. I shook my head,
why am I comparing this guy with Ethan? A: I don't even know his name and B:
it's not as if there's a competition between the two of them.
"Thank you. There's really no need." I commented as my eyes turned to his hand
still holding onto that nearly burned up cigarette. "It's amazing you still
held that and me up."
He took an expert puff, smirking at me as he blew a boatload of smoke from his
lips. "I'm talented, what can I say?"
I hesitated before I asked. He already knew mine so I figured it was fair to
ask.
"What's your name?"
His mouth twitched before responding, "It's Louis."
I nodded, a French name for a guy who, acts pretty fucking French. But right
now I didn't feel that from him. I shook off that feeling entirely, praying
that I got into my dorm alive tonight.
"Do you need some help?"
"With what?"
He shrugged, "To your room I guess."
Was I going to regret this? I hope not. "Maybe," my headache was coming back
and my legs were feeling a little bit wobbly again.
Louis reached out his hand as I gripped it. I'm trusting this guy, can't
believe it. Why would he do all these nice things for me? That is the part that
I don't get. He wanted me to lean on him and I did as we walked to the front
entrance of the building that was almost pitch black inside, minus the dimly
lit lights near the elevators. As we stepped inside I shrunk to the corner,
almost collapsing, silently telling myself I'm almost there. Louis was side-
glancing at me, I'm assuming to make sure I don't pass out. I think if it
wasn't for him staring at me every five seconds I probably would have.
He took my hand automatically again as the elevator came to my floor and I
fumbled inside my purse for the keys. It was difficult while walking but I
managed to fish them out of the bottom.
We finally came to my room and I unlocked the handle as he brought me in
slowly. He helped me onto a bed, I didn't care if it was mine or Bianca's, I
just needed to lie down, my head was feeling like it was getting repeatedly
bashed in.
"Do you have some pain reliever?" Louis asked me but it felt like he was
screaming those words; my hearing was getting weird.
I pointed to the closet and popped open my eyes as I watched his face grow
confused. "My gym bag, there's a bottle at the bottom. Ugh..." I groaned,
feeling the effects begin to consume me.
I felt the bed shift in weight as I began to sit up halfway looking at the
glass of water in one of Louis' hands and pills in the other. I silently took
them as I stared at him watching me intently.
"Thanks."
"Yeah." He said, hiding his face.
"I guess..." I paused as he turned his attention to me. "I didn't think you
would actually do it."
"What?"
"Make sure a stranger actually got home safe."
He looked at me from the side before staring forward. "It's not a big deal. You
should probably get some rest."
I realized this was my bed and I pulled the small blanket I had laid out before
over my shoulders. "Yeah, I should."
Louis nodded and stood up from my bed heading to the door. "See you around I
guess."
"You guess?"
"I don't know, it's a New York thing, stranger things have happened than us
meeting, like us meeting again, in an even weirder situation."
I smiled feeling the blush on my cheeks looking up at him. I was too weak to
stand up so I placed the water down and secured the blanket around my shoulders
even though the chill was leaving my body. I realized Bianca wasn't in her bed,
odd. I'm going to be alone tonight.
"Can I ask you a funny question?" I licked my lips, waiting for his answer.
"Sure, always love those."
"Can you—is it a problem if you...I'm sorry this is too strange for me to ask."
He closed the door and came closer to me so he was eye level.
"Go on."
"Is there any chance you could stay over until I fall asleep?" I asked wincing.
"Ahh usually the dinner comes first before the sleeping over."
I glared at him playfully. "I already had dinner. Sorry, that was stupid to
ask."
His brows rose at that. "Why is that stupid? Did you mean it?"
I bit my lip unable to control the honesty that seeped through. "Yeah..." I
tried to control the break in my voice but it didn't take. "I did."
Louis looked around the room. I followed where his eyes traveled. There was a
chair in the corner of the room, it was at the shared desk, it was fluffy
enough. I didn't know why I asked him that I just didn't wanna be alone. Not
after it felt like I was rejected on the first day of being here.
"Mind if I sit there?" Louis asked as he pointed to the chair near the desk.
"No," I said shaking my head, in shock he agreed to do this for me.
"Can't believe you trust me not to murder you in your sleep."
"I can't either." I laughed and he joined me. It wasn't hilarious but it did
make us both laugh.
He's quite sarcastic, like me, and a bit of a realist, like me. I'm clearly
after Ethan, why do I need to count the pros of this Louis guy? We're not
interested in each other. Part of me thought he's doing this out of guilt.
Maybe he's secretly Jewish and it'll sneak up on him. Don't know many Jews in
the UK though.
"Did you think it would turn out like this?"
"No." I knew exactly what he meant.
"I didn't either. My family raised me to care about people so..."
"So this is your community service?"
"No," he smirked at me. "It's a favor for someone in need."
"You know I could have handled myself if you gave me a third try, it's the
charming number you know?"
"Actually that's half the saying, "third time's a charm". And no I don't think
you could have done it on your own, no matter how many times you tried. You
were too knackered."
Not entirely disagreeing with him there. I leaned back, relaxing against my
pillow, curling up in my little blanket, semi-shivering but I didn't want to
get inside the covers yet. I might fall asleep and I didn't want to do that.
Talking to Louis was warming me up, in ways that a hot cup of a tea would.
"I almost got it right, at least give me that. My brain is %60 coherent and
rising in percent every minute."
"Points for trying." He winked and checked his phone.
"It's late isn't it?"
"If you call half passed 2am late, nah."
I rolled my eyes rubbing my blanket against my body.
"You don't have to stay if it's really after 2am."
He shrugged, "Maybe I want to. You talk a lot. You ask a lot of questions and I
seem to be answering them. That hardly happens with other people. Usually they
bore the shit outta me fast."
I chuckled sitting up as I stared in his direction. "Well OK, thanks for the
compliment."
Louis folded his arms behind his head, looking at me with a tilted head. "I bet
you have to get up tomorrow morning."
"Maybe, don't you have to sleep too?"
"Probably. Just waiting for you to lay back and sleep before I can actually get
there."
He was right, I suppose the second I prepare myself for sleeping, the more I
will feel tired.
"Touché."
"You know, I gotta say not many people would stick around you. You have the
kind of personality that scares most men away."
I gestured, smiling. "Again, with the compliments." I said smiling, then it
left my face. "Maybe that's how I scared Ethan away."
"Oh boy...you talk about that bloke way too much. Yeah he finds you cute but I
don't know if he's as interested in you as you are in him."
"Suddenly you're an expert on knowing whether we have chemistry or not? I don't
know, maybe I got nervous or something. It was literally my first day, I met
this great guy and I can't help but think he's blowing me off already because
of earlier."
"Maybe he is maybe he isn't, why do you care?"
I shrugged, playing my hair, "I guess I shouldn't."
"Well not caring at all sucks but caring more than the other person does, I
don't know, I say if it's clear then you'll know."
I can't believe I was actually taking Louis' comment seriously. But I wasn't
going to let him know I agreed.
"Yeah, whatever. If he's interested he'll show it." Or not he's a teacher and
that's bad but I'd still want him to.
Louis leaned back in the chair, laughing and covered his eyes. "You're
something, Elsa. I've never met a girl quite like you."
"Woman." I corrected, smiling and turned red even though I didn't mean to. The
way he said that wasn't sarcastic, it sounded comforting oddly.
I felt his eyes on me and it was true, he was looking at me but glanced at his
phone again before raising his brows.
"Feeling sleepy."
"Thank fuck, it's about time." He winked at me, smiling as he fixed on his
jacket.
An awkward beat followed and I skipped that, moving to sit up but it was a bit
of a challenge. Louis came forward but I put my hand up signaling it was OK.
I stood up and joined him by the door, "Thank you, this wasn't unpleasant."
"Why thank you, it wasn't tiresome on my end either. Oh here..." he pulled out
$40 from his pocket. "Take it."
I contorted my face. "What? I thought you used Ethan's money to pay the
driver?"
Louis cleared his throat, shrugging. "Sod his money, you keep it. Tell him you
deserve a better night than tequila shots after midnight."
He pushed the money into my hand before I could say anything. Begrudgingly I
took it, reflecting over the night suddenly.
"Tonight was pretty cliché wasn't it? I did nothing wrong with him and he
leaves, I spilled hard earned beer all over you and you paid my cab tab and
stuck around." I said, almost not believing it as I said it.
"Actually the cliché would be if you ended up with the man of your dreams and
not me. Suppose it was meant to be this way, tonight was not cliché though." He
said as his eyes looked down then up at mine.
It looked weird when he did that. "I guess..." I hadn't meant for that to come
out in a whisper.
I felt his breathing speed up as mine grew with it. I didn't know what was
happening and I groaned before rushing to the bathroom, throwing the money
somewhere. Who cares? I could feel my organs following everything that came out
of me right now.
My face was buried inside the toilet as I felt like I emptied the entire
contents of what I ate for the last two days, good fucking god.
"That's an awfully familiar sound. Feel better?" Louis' voice barely registered
to me as I wiped my mouth.
I rested against the wall; I looked like Courtney Love circa post Kurt Cobain's
suicide. Why is Louis still here? Probably to laugh at me. I looked over at him
and I didn't see him laughing. I just saw him standing there, looking unsure if
he wanted to leave or stay.
I nipped this in the bud, my throat was killing me but I forced myself to talk.
"Yes, very."
"What's going on here?" I heard Bianca's voice chime in.
I focused my eyes better and saw her walk inside the room looking between Louis
and I.
Louis bowed out while nodding to both of us, leaving the room pretty quickly as
Bianca looked into the hallway.
Moving to get up I could already feel the questions she was about to ask so I
put a stop to it before it began.
"Who was that gu—"
"Nobody, literally nobody."
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