Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6379279.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Ao_no_Exorcist_|_Blue_Exorcist
  Relationship:
      Okumura_Rin/Suguro_"Bon"_Ryuuji
  Character:
      Okumura_Rin, Suguro_"Bon"_Ryuuji
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time, Awkward_Sexual_Situations, Awkward_Conversations, Premature
      Ejaculation, Anal_Sex, Anal_Fingering, Blow_Jobs
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-03-28 Words: 9325
****** Let's Love Hotel! ******
by KorrinBelle
Summary
     Rin and Ryuuji have been dating for a while in secret, but it's hard
     for them to find time alone. They both want to take their
     relationship to the next level, even if they're not exactly in
     agreement about what that means, which is why when Rin first suggests
     visiting a love hotel Ryuuji initially agrees only for doubt to set
     in.
Notes
     Here's one I started a long time ago. I think I initially envisioned
     this as a part of the "Living" series, as if it were how Rin and
     Ryuuji pursued their relationship in secret, but with the way I ended
     Living it sort of stands better on its own now.
            "Why are we here again?" Ryuuji asked, nervously staring at the
obnoxious neon sign glowing over the doorway. It read "7eventh Heaven" in
glowing, hot pink calligraphic letters as if openly mocking him.
            "Because I never know when my brother is coming or going, and you
have two roommates—one of which is incredibly nosey when it comes to stuff like
this—and we both agreed we were getting tired of sneaking around." Rin
approached the door without hesitation and Ryuuji quickly fell in step behind
him, glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one they knew was in sight. The
chances of that were incredibly slim since they had crossed town to avoid
detection. Rin was excited, treating it as if they were starring in some kind
of spy movie—peeking around corners before darting towards their target—but
Ryuuji was nervous as hell and couldn’t stop looking over his shoulder.
            Rin was already inside when Ryuuji peaked in. Homosexuality was
still a pretty secretive affair in Japan, and Ryuuji was almost certain the
desk clerk would turn them away. That, and they were both underage, but his
fear was pretty unfounded. There was no desk clerk. There wasn't even a desk.
The tiny entryway was dimly lit and the walls were covered in glowing sign
boards, showcasing the different rooms available for rent. Ryuuji stared up at
the sign.
            Undersea adventure, Jungle Safari, Classroom, Sex Dungeon... Hello
Kitty?
            "Hey, you got any cash on you? It's like 4000 yen for two hours,"
Rin said as he fished his wallet out of his pants. "That's pretty good if we
split it."
            "Oh...yeah." Ryuuji numbly handed Rin two 1000 yen notes and
watched as the other boy made his selection on what looked like a glorified
vending machine. Rin scooped up the room key from the slot it landed in below
the sign and then shot Ryuuji a wide, excited grin.
            "Let's go!"
 
===============================================================================
                                        
            Ryuuji actually sighed with relief as they entered the room and he
found that Rin had chosen one that looked relatively normal. No bizarre themes
or decor. That didn't mean the room wasn't weird. The lighting was dim and the
room smelled faintly of cheap, artificial cherries. There was a mirror on the
headboard and on the ceiling above the bed, and the nightstand sported a small
portable vending machine selling condoms and lube instead of anything normal
like a lamp or alarm clock. The wall separating the bathroom from the rest of
the suite was made of regular glass. It wasn't even frosted. He felt oddly glad
that he'd gone to the bathroom before leaving home.
            Rin kicked his shoes off in the entry way and then leapt on to the
bed, rolling over on to his back and staring up at his own reflection.
            "Isn't this great?" he asked. It was a rhetorical question, but
when no answer came he looked up at Ryuuji and patted the bed encouragingly.
            "Come on! You can't get cold feet now. We already paid."
            "I don't have cold feet." Ryuuji slowly toed his shoes off and
approached the bed.
            "Oh yeah? Then get over here," Rin said as he yanked Ryuuji's hand,
pulling him down on to the bed to lie beside him. He frowned as Ryuuji quickly
scrambled up, putting a little distance between them.
            "Are you sure you're okay?"
            "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine," he said, much too quickly.
            "Really? Cuz' you look like you're afraid someone's gonna' jump out
of a secret wall panel and kick us out."
            Ryuuji looked around the room guiltily. "I'm just nervous."
            "Why? No one we know saw us come in. You look old enough anyway,"
he said, gesturing to Ryuuji's goatee. The other boy scratched at his chin fuzz
absently.
            "It's not just that. We're here," he said gesturing to their
surroundings. Rin looked around the room quizzically.
            "I thought I chose a pretty normal room." He sounded slightly
crestfallen as he looked up at Ryuuji with wide eyes.
            "No, I don't mean this room specifically. I mean the whole hotel.
We're here and this... this is happening," he finished lamely, awkwardly
rubbing the back of his head and blushing as his eyes nervously darted away
from Rin's.
            "Oooh," Rin said, grinning shrewdly as he drew out the long vowel
and scooted closer to the other boy, throwing his arm around his shoulder. "So,
cold feet after all."
            "No!" Ryuuji protested quickly before his shoulders sagged. "...
Yeah, I guess... I don't know." He scowled, unable to look up to meet Rin's
questioning gaze.
            "We could just make out," Rin offered casually, letting his head
fall against Ryuuji’s shoulder. "Nothing we haven't done before. Now we just
have privacy and time. No one expects us anywhere and no one can walk in on
us."
            Ryuuji chuckled and smiled with relief before nodding. "Sounds
good."
            "We'll see what we do from there," Rin said and before Ryuuji could
question that statement, Rin was on him, kissing him gently, silencing his
protests with his mouth.
            Ryuuji wrapped an arm around Rin, giving in to the other boy's
neediness with ease. This was familiar territory. Ryuuji wouldn't describe
himself as a prude. More like prudent. If you had asked him before meeting Rin
if he'd ever sneak around behind his friend's backs to engage in make out
sessions, he would have told you exactly what kind of idiot you were for even
asking such a stupid question. After meeting Rin though, that was a different
matter. His energy and excitement was contagious and Ryuuji found himself
constantly getting swept away by it. It was exactly why he'd agreed to this
crazy adventure. Now though, with privacy and time, Rin had slowed the pace,
taking his time and enjoying himself. Where previously there had been shared,
ragged breaths and clashing teeth and tongue in darkened hallways, there was
now slow, almost methodical, chapped, but pliable lips.
            Rin brought his hand up to thread his fingers through the hair at
the base of Ryuuji’s scalp and slowly eased them both down on the bed so that
Ryuuji was leaning over him.
            Ryuuji’s heart did a flip as Rin looked up at him, a small smile
quirked across his face. This was an entirely new vantage point. They'd never
had the opportunity to mess around while lying down and somehow it felt a
thousand times more intimate. Not that pinning Rin against a wall with his hips
wasn’t inherently intimate, but this was different—closer, softer.
            Rin pulled him down in to another soft kiss and Ryuuji shifted,
getting comfortable and throwing his leg over Rin's so he was lying half on top
of him. Better. Ryuuji leaned down in to him, licking tentatively at Rin's lips
and felt a jolt of power as he coaxed Rin's mouth open. Rin moaned openly in to
his mouth, shifting his hips to grind against the boy above him, and Ryuuji
gasped in to his mouth as he felt Rin’s cock hardening to press enticingly
against his thigh. Rin was so needy and open and Ryuuji couldn’t help but to
start setting his apprehension aside as the blood flow in his body began to
head south as well.
            Rin slipped a hand beneath the hem of his shirt, his fingers
playing across Ryuuji’s muscled back. This much was still familiar—hands
straying to touch bare skin, normally hidden—but the current location made it
something more, as if promising what was to come, because this was just about
as far as either of them had gone. Like hell they’d removed clothes on school
grounds, but that was the next obvious step. Ryuuji took a quick stuttered
breath, practically stealing Rin’s air. He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready
for this, but he hadagreed to come here in the first place and he was never one
to back down from a challenge.
            Taking control of the pace Ryuuji lifted himself off of Rin to tug
at the hem of the other boy’s shirt, and Rin arched his back, raising his arms
so the article of clothing could be slipped off with ease.
            They'd seen each other shirtless before, of course, and even fully
naked once or twice in the changing room at school, but not like this. Rin's
cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen and red from kissing. His chest
rose and fell with panting breaths as he gazed up in to Ryuuji's brown eyes,
his own eyes half lidded and full of need, but as Ryuuji continued to stare Rin
began to look more and more flustered, the flush on his cheeks spreading across
his entire face.
            “What?” Rin asked with a pout, glaring up at Ryuuji from beneath
long lashes, as if unable to meet the prolonged stare.
            “N-nothing…”Ryuuji’s heart was pounding in his ears, drowning
everything else out and making him feel much too hot. It wasn’t too late to
stop things, but Ryuuji didn’t really want to. This was happening. Oh yes, this
was happening. He threw off his own shirt, moving back against the boy beneath
him, this time striving for full skin on skin contact as he ground his hips
against Rin before resuming the make out session where they'd left off. He
grabbed Rin’s hands, twining their fingers together as he held his hands above
his head, letting the weight of his body rest fully against Rin’s. If Rin
minded the weight, he didn’t let on, continuing to roll his body against
Ryuuji’s, their mouths connected, practically sharing the same air, which they
came up for only intermittently between shared moans and gasps.
            Eventually their hands fell apart to wander each other’s bodies.
Ryuuji couldn’t reach much as he pressed Rin in to the mattress, but contented
himself to grip Rin’s head as he continued to kiss him, while Rin’s hands
wandered up and over the curve of his biceps before trailing down his back and
then up again, to land restlessly at the base of Ryuuji’s scalp before sliding
up to his ears. Ryuuji shivered as Rin’s fingers brushed one of his piercings.
            “Did these hurt?” Rin asked, his voice muffled against Ryuuji’s
mouth as he tugged lightly on one of them.
            “Not really,” Ryuuji said, grimacing slightly as Rin played with
the piercing, “I mean, most of them didn’t.” He wasn’t about to tell Rin that
he cried when he got his inner conch pierced, but it had barely been a few
tears, just a little eye watering, so it totally didn’t count.
            “Do you want me to stop?”
            “…No, it’s fine.” The gentle tug on his ear didn’t hurt so much as
make him feel oddly vulnerable. It wasn’t a feeling he was used to at all, but
it wasn’t unpleasant. He wasn’t ready though for Rin to lean up and lick the
shell of his ear, taking the piercing in to his mouth and tugging on it with
his teeth. Ryuuji groaned, the hot wet sensation overwhelming his senses. He
bucked against Rin and the half demon chuckled, apparently enjoying his new
found power as he laced his fingers through Ryuuji’s hair and pulled him down,
his inhuman strength giving Ryuuji no option but to grit his teeth and give in
as Rin continued to suck on his piercings, tracing the curve of his ear with
his tongue.
            “Ah! Fuck, Rin-” Ryuuji gasped, unable to form much more in the way
of words.
            “Hmmm?” He stopped, pulling away to lick his lips, like a cat who’d
just finished drinking all the cream, and Ryuuji looked down at him helplessly,
his face flushed and pleading.
            “Did you want something?” Rin asked, teasing him. Ryuuji glared and
wiped his ear clean of Rin’s saliva before gripping the half demon’s face,
going in for his revenge.
            It was Rin’s turn to yelp, squirming in his grasp as Ryuuji nibbled
on the tip of one of his pointed ears, giving as good as he’d gotten. It was
definitely foul play. Neither of them would have pegged such an innocent body
part as being so sensitive, and all Rin could do was whine as he clung to
Ryuuji, digging his nails in to his muscled back.
            Ryuuji grunted at the sweet sting of pain, pulling away to catch
his breath. He reached up behind himself, to the claw marks, and his hand came
back with blood. Not much, but enough for Rin to recoil.
            “S-Sorry,” he panted, still trying to catch his own breath.
            “S’okay. Doesn’t hurt much,” Ryuuji said as he wiped the blood off
on to the sheets. That was someone else’s problem to deal with.
            Despite the reassurance, Rin bit his lip, his eyes lingering on the
red stain. Ryuuji scowled and brought his forehead down to rest against Rin’s.
            “I said it’s okay.”
            And he kissed Rin as if it had never happened, trying to take his
mind off it, dragging his focus back to more important things. He ground his
hips against Rin’s, enjoying the way the half demon gasped and shuddered
beneath him, slipping his tongue inside Rin’s parted mouth and coaxing him back
to making out.
            It didn’t take much and soon Rin was running his hands over his
body again, though clearly avoiding the damage he’d done, sticking to Ryuuji’s
arms and sides, before finally letting his hands come to rest on Ryuuji’s hips,
just above the top of his jeans. Rin’s hands lingered there for a moment and
their kissing slowed as Ryuuji realized what Rin was doing. They pulled apart
slightly, staring in to each other’s eyes as Rin worked up the courage to hook
his thumbs under the hem of Ryuuji’s pants.
            “Rin…”
            “Yeah?” Rin asked, somewhat breathlessly.
            Ryuuji hesitated, choking on his own doubt and instead grabbed
Rin’s wrists, bringing his hands up to lay a line of kisses along his knuckles
before pinning them above his head. He resumed kissing him before Rin could
question it, distracting him by grinding against him again and swallowing the
ensuing moans, relishing how much Rin seems to be enjoying this even as Ryuuji
shied away from going any further.
            That deterrent didn’t last long though as Rin pulled his legs up
suddenly, twisting away from the kiss.
            “Stop, stop!”
            “What’s wrong?” Ryuuji asked, confused, “Did I hurt you?”
            “Hah, no,” Rin laughed slightly even as he tried to catch his
breath, “Just… I’m- uh… I don’t want this to end like this.”
            “Oh…” Ryuuji flushed as he realized what Rin meant.
            They pulled apart to cool off and Rin wriggled out of Ryuuji’s
grip, but after a few moments they found their way back to his hips. Rin bit
his lip as he looked up at Ryuuji, his eyes silently pleading for permission.
Ryuuji sighed, nibbling his own lip as he considered the options. He couldn’t
deter Rin forever, but perhaps it had been just long enough to make up his
mind. He leaned back, reaching for Rin’s belt.
            Rin’s eyes widened, but he said nothing as he propped himself up on
his arms, his breath quickening as Ryuuji began to undo his belt, even if his
hands shied away from the straining bulge at the front of Rin’s pants. This was
very definitely new territory, but he just had to take it one step at a time;
one step at a time… at his own pace.
            “Suguro…” Rin’s voice was soft and reverent, as if he almost
couldn’t believe this was happening, as if speaking would dispel the illusion.
Ryuuji looked up to stare at him flatly.
            “We’re alone you know. You can use my given name.”
            Rin grinned at him, the smile brightening his face.
            “Ryuuji.”
            “What?”
            Rin shook his head, the smile still stretched across his face. He
said nothing; just licked his lips and leaned back on his arms, watching him.
Ryuuji shook his own head, laughing quietly to himself as he finished
unbuckling Rin’s belt, some of his previous tension gone.
            He slipped the leather straps aside and then reached for Rin’s
zipper, the half demon trying not to shift too much under the attention as
Ryuuji drew down his fly. Of course, that was just one barrier out of the way.
Rin’s boxers were still there, like a final guard rail on the edge of a cliff.
A small dark circle of moisture crowned the top of the bulge and Ryuuji could
smell him, the scent musky and intoxicating. He took a deep breath, absently
noting the heady smell of impending sex and trying not to think about it before
it could change his mind. He pulled Rin’s boxers and pants down, and the other
boy jumped slightly as his erection suddenly swung free.
            It wasn’t like Ryuuji had never seen a dick before, obviously,
but…. This was different. He looked up, meeting Rin’s eyes—he was flushed, as
red as Ryuuji felt—and for a moment they just stared at each other silently,
their hearts pounding.
            “W-what?” Rin finally asked, pulling his legs free of his pants and
kicking them aside, only to pull his legs up, hiding himself from Ryuuji’s
gaze.
            “Nothing…” he said, but he was quietly taking solace in the fact
that even as Rin urged them forward, he seemed just as hesitant and uncertain
as Ryuuji felt.
            He could do this.
            He started to remove his own pants and Rin quieted instantly, his
eyes wide as he watched, and after a quick moment they were both just sitting
there, completely buck naked, their eyes stealing glances, not yet sure if it
was okay to stare.
            “So…” Rin said softly, finally breaking the silence.
            “So?” Ryuuji prompted, not sure how else to respond.
            “How do we decide who gets to do this?”
            “Do what?” Ryuuji asked dumbly.
            “You know…” Rin said, flushing as he made a ring with his fingers
and proceeded to stick his index finger through the hole, awkwardly pantomiming
sex with his hands. “Who gets to do who.”
            Ryuuji gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish
before he found his voice. “I… I’m going to be the one!”
            “What? Why the hell-?”
            “It makes the most sense,” Ryuuji said as he struggled to reach for
an excuse, “I- I’m clearly more masculine!”
            “Like hell you are! I’m stronger than you!”
            Ryuuji scoffed. “So? I’m taller, have a deeper voice, I’m more
muscular, and I can grow facial hair. Besides, your strength isn’t natural,”
Ryuuji said, but his confidence died as Rin glared at him, drawing his legs up
to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.
            “S-Sorry…” Ryuuji mumbled. Maybe that was a little over the line.
Okay, not maybe. It was most definitely a bad argument to be having now, and
the awkwardness hung thick in the air between them, as cloying and distasteful
as the artificial air fresheners that had been used to cover up who knows what
smells the room would have otherwise harbored.
            Rin let his head fall back with a sigh as he groaned. “This is
stupid. There’s only one fair way to settle this.” He raised his arm and before
Ryuuji could question it he shook his fist three times, shouting, “Rock! Paper!
Scissors!”
            Ryuuji reacted on instinct born of years in the Japanese school
system, his heart sinking in dread even as he threw down scissors without even
thinking about it, only to sigh in relief when he realized Rin had thrown
paper.
            “God damn it!” Rin groaned as he flopped down on to the bed,
defeated. He pouted even as he glanced up at Ryuuji out of the corner of his
eyes. “Fair is fair,” he finally mumbled, acquiescing much to Ryuuji’s
surprise. He was almost certain Rin would have demanded best two out of three,
the sore loser’s gambit, but instead he seemed resigned to his lot. Not that
Ryuuji was complaining.
            “So?” Rin prompted again, and Ryuuji flushed, realizing that they
were really doing this, not that it wasn’t too late to stop things if he really
wanted to.
            Instead he leaned up over Rin to reach the vending machine, but
then had to retrieve his pants so he could fish some money out of his wallet
before it was back to the vending machine to try to decipher what his options
were. The lube seemed to come in every flavour, except of course regular
unflavored lube. He sighed and picked one at random, inserting the coins and
retrieving the condom and lube—which was nothing more than one of those stupid
tiny sampler packs—from the little slot at the bottom of the machine, before
turning awkwardly back to Rin who was sitting with his knees drawn up to his
chest, his tail curled lightly around him on the bed.
            “Ready?” he asked.
            Rin nodded quickly before lying down on his back, swallowing the
lump in his throat as Ryuuji climbed back on to the bed. He tried to scooch
over, to make room beside him, only for Ryuuji to awkwardly part his legs so he
could settle between them. Hearts in their throats, their eyes met only for
them to both look away, as if they could escape the odd sense of vulnerability
that permeated the room by pretending neither of them was there. Rin’s tail
thumped restlessly against the mattress as he stared up at the ceiling, but he
looked back down quickly when he realized he was staring at his own reflection
in the ceiling mounted mirror. Their eyes met again, quiet, desperate glances,
and this time they didn’t look away.
            Ryuuji took a deep breath and again tried to take solace in the
fact that Rin was as nervous as he was, before opening up the tiny packet of
lube and squeezing some of it out on to his hand. The cheap smell of fake
citrus hit him and he almost wished he’d paid attention to the flavour he’d
picked, not that any of them would have smelled particularly appetising. The
taste probably wasn’t any better, but he didn’t really intend to try it out.
            “Ready?” he asked again, and Rin nodded quickly, flinching lightly
as Ryuuji eased his legs further apart, his tail going rigid, ceasing its
restless motions. They took a deep breath together, almost in unison, as Rin
tried to relax and Ryuuji tried to work up the nerve to really go through with
this.
            A cold, lube slicked finger probed at Rin’s entrance, tentative and
gentle, and he relaxed slightly, the sensation not wholly unpleasant, maybe
even almost nice, until Ryuuji continued to press forward and his finger slid
past the first ring of muscle. Rin tensed again and Ryuuji paused.
            “You okay?”
            “Y-yeah, um,” Rin started shakily, his body not quite sure how to
react to the unnatural intrusion, “It just feels… weird.”
            “Weird how?”
            “Like I have to go to the bathroom.”
            “Oh…” Ryuuji said, “Do you want me to stop.”
            “No,” Rin said quickly, shifting his hips and grimacing slightly,
“It’s not bad. Just keep going.”
            So he did, slowly pressing in until he was up to his knuckle. He
paused there, paying attention to Rin’s breathing to try to gauge how he was
doing as he started to move his finger. The other boy was lying on his back,
his body covered in a light sheen of sweat, his knees up and apart as he
lightly gripped the sheets. His eyes were closed as he took deep, even breaths,
and every so often his tail twitched and he’d purse his lips, but even though
it didn’t look like he was in pain, it didn’t look like he was enjoying himself
either.
            Ryuuji grimaced. This wasn’t even remotely close to how he thought
their first time would be, not that he’d planned it out or anything. He’d
fantasized a little bit of course—he would have done actual research of he’d
known Rin was going to suggest this so soon—but you typically had certain
expectations and so far this experience was living up to none of them.
            “I don’t think this is working,” Ryuuji said as he started to pull
his finger out.
            “I told you to keep going," Rin said, clamping his legs shut on
Ryuuji’s hand, “I… I want to do this with you, so… it’s fine. Just keep going.”
            “Shouldn’t this feel good though?” Ryuuji asked helplessly.
            Rin shrugged as much as he could while lying on his back. “Maybe it
gets better? We won’t know if we stop.”
            “Fine,” Ryuuji sighed. Rin released his hand and Ryuuji withdrew
just enough to insert a second finger. This time Rin hissed quietly, grimacing
at the sensation.
            “It stings a bit, but it’s fine” he said quickly, pre-empting any
further protests, “I’ll tell you to stop if I want you to.”
            Ryuuji nodded and proceeded to work slowly, moving his fingers in
and out, carefully trying to stretch Rin for what they both knew was coming,
and after a while the pinched look on Rin’s face disappeared. His breathing
evened out slightly, and he even started to get hard again. Now that was
something he’d been avoiding, which was funny to think about considering he was
knuckle deep inside of Rin.
            Hesitantly, he reached out, gently letting Rin’s cock rest in the
palm of his hand, feeling the weight of him before curling his fingers gently
around him, and Rin sucked in a quiet breath, shifting his hips and seeking the
touch, actually pressing down against Ryuuji’s fingers. It was oddly hot, Rin
wanting him like that, pushing against him even if he’d been just as reluctant
towards the position as Ryuuji when this had started.
            “I think I’m ready,” Rin said after a while, and Ryuuji nodded
mutely as he removed his hands, wiping his fingers off on the sheets before
taking another deep breath and wiping the sweat from his brow.
            This was it. Rin was watching him expectantly as he lay sprawled
back across the sheets—completely open and willing—and Ryuuji’s dick twitched
in anticipation even as his heart wavered. It was a view he could get used to,
but it still felt like too much, too soon. His pulse was pounding, drowning
everything else out and making his body throb. Rin wanted this—had practically
ordered him to keep going—and he was pretty sure he wanted it too. He lifted
Rin’s legs, jockeying with his knees to try to get in to position, then set
them down again after a moment of awkward shuffling.
            “Maybe you should roll over?” he suggested after a moment of
consideration.
            Rin nodded and crawled to his knees, feeling his face flush as he
turned his back on Ryuuji and lifted his ass, flicking his tail out of the way
and feeling oddly more exposed than he had before. Once again he came face to
face with his own reflection, this time in the headboard mirror, and he
realized with a start that he had a perfect view of what Ryuuji was doing
behind him thanks to the mirror.
            Ryuuji ripped open the condom wrapper and then fumbled around
behind Rin for a moment as he put it on. He then placed his hands lightly on
Rin’s hips as he moved in, leaning over him, and Rin tensed as he felt Ryuuji
pressing in on him. He took a quick breath before closing his eyes and gritting
his teeth, trying to relax—to will himself to let Ryuuji in—when Ryuuji
suddenly shivered, his fingers biting in to Rin’s thighs as he gasped quietly
behind him, a sudden intake of surprised breath.
            Then Ryuuji released him, moving away, his weight shifting across
the bed as he let out a frustrated growl.
            Rin waited, glancing over his shoulder as his curiosity and
impatience got the better of him, before pushing himself up and rolling over.
Ryuuji was sitting on the side of the bed, his face buried in his hands, his
shoulders so tense he was shaking.
            “What’s wrong?” Rin leaned over him, reaching out to him only for
Ryuuji to jerk away.
            “I was nervous, okay?!” Ryuuji snapped, as he removed the used
condom, chucking it across the room towards a nearby waste bin and not caring
that the throw went wild and the condom hit the wall with a wet smack before
slowly sliding to the floor.
            Rin was unable to hold back the first bark of nervous laughter and
Ryuuji shot him a withering glare. It was just… Of course he felt bad for
Ryuuji—he knew he’d want to crawl in to a hole and die if it had happened to
him—but at the same time he didn’t know how else to react. What were you
supposed to do in a situation like that? Pretend it never happened?
            Rin coughed, covering up any further laughter before it could
escape, then fetched the condom off the floor and properly disposed of it
before striding back towards the bed where Ryuuji was still sitting—languishing
in mortal embarrassment. He squared his shoulders, then tipped Ryuuji’s chin up
and kissed him, the other boy’s eyes widening in surprise as he tensed—his lips
pressed in a firm denial—but he didn’t pull away.
            Rin leaned in again, this time slower, giving Ryuuji time to pull
away if he wanted, and kissed his cute little pouting mouth. When he pulled
back Ryuuji pursed his lips, still glaring at Rin in spite of the flush on his
cheeks.
            “We’ve been in here for like half an hour,” Rin said, gesturing to
the room, “We’ve got over an hour before we have to leave. It’s not a big deal.
We can still enjoy ourselves,” he said, a pleading tone edging in on his voice.
            “… It’s not that easy,” Ryuuji finally said, dropping his eyes from
Rin down to his lap, clenching and unclenching his hands.
            He didn’t even know how to explain it. Not just the sheer
embarrassment of it—that it happened to someone like him, of all people—but the
nerves, the hesitation, and anxiety. He didn’t think he could do it.
            “But… why not?” Rin asked softly, not trying to pressure Ryuuji,
but really just asking. Perhaps they weren’t dating in the strictest
sense—they’d never really discussed it, but Rin liked to think they were,
otherwise he wouldn’t be there right now, in the love hotel, with Ryuuji—but
whatever their relationship was, if Ryuuji couldn’t be comfortable around him
after something like this, then who could he be comfortable around?
            Ryuuji didn’t say anything—couldn’t think of anything to say,
couldn’t admit he was at just as much of a loss as Rin was—so all he did was
shrug.
            A shrug wasn’t an answer, wasn’t acceptance or denial, and Rin
didn’t know what else to do so he sat next to Ryuuji and wrapped his arm around
him with a sigh, letting his head fall against his shoulder. Ryuuji didn’t move
away and Rin took it as a good sign, leaning in to kiss him, just barely
brushing his cheek.
            Ryuuji snorted and finally relented, bringing his arms up around
Rin. The half demon leaned in to the hug, tightening his embrace, before
pulling back to brush his lips against Ryuuji’s once more and this time Ryuuji
responded. After a few minutes it was like they had simply started over. The
kisses deepened, tongues exploring open mouths as hands began to wander, and it
seemed to Rin as if the little accident had been completely forgotten.
            Until he reached for the lube.
            “What are you doing?” Ryuuji asked, his voice tinged with more than
a little concern.
            “Well,” Rin started somewhat hesitantly, “I was hoping… it could be
my turn?”
            “Hell no!”
            Rin pouted. “Why not? You had your chance.”
            “That’s-! It’s not-! It doesn’t work like that!” Ryuuji floundered,
stumbling over his words as he struggled to find some excuse. Rin scowled down
at him.
            “That’s not fair,” Rin said weakly, “You were perfectly content to
try to fuck me.” His words were so blunt that Ryuuji flinched, and they stared
each other down; Rin leaning over him, packet of lube in hand before he finally
sighed, dropping the packet and raking his hand through his hair.
            “If you’re not comfortable then just say so, but don’t make
excuses.” Rin’s tail thumped against the bed, a clear a sign of his annoyance
as any.
            Ryuuji stared down at the sheets—anywhere but at Rin—and growled, a
discontented rumble deep in his throat as he grit his teeth and clenched his
fists against his bare thighs. He wanted to do this, but what was “this”? He
knew he wanted more than making out, and Rin seemed so sure of going all the
way, like it wasn’t anything special. But Rin had been right. He had been about
to have sex with Rin—nerves aside, he’d been seconds away from going through
with it—but was it only as long as he was the one doing the fucking, or just
because Rin had goaded him on? It wasn’t like he was afraid of the pain—He’d
never shied away from something before, just because it might hurt—not that
this was supposed to hurt. Or was it? He’d never really thought about it before
being with Rin. It’s not like sex between guys was, strictly speaking,
physiologically normal, but people still did it, and they enjoyed it, didn’t
they? And not just because they were doing something so incredibly intimate
with someone they lov-… liked, so he imagined it had to feel good, eventually…
if you did it properly, right? He was just so damn unsure about it all, but
pain or pleasure, that had never really been the issue.
            Ryuuji glanced at Rin, the other boy sitting beside him on the bed,
his arms around his knees as he stared morosely down at the floor, as if simply
waiting for the inevitable rejection.
            “…Fine.”
            “What?” Rin asked, turning to look at him.
            “I said fine.” He didn’t meet Rin’s eyes as he spoke. “You can… you
know…” He gestured to the packet of lube and Rin all but jumped to his knees,
his eyes wide as he clearly struggled to keep his face passively neutral.
            “Really?”
            Ryuuji glared at him. “Yes, really. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t
mean it.”
            Rin leaned in quick and Ryuuji almost flinched away, but they both
checked themselves at the last moment, almost bumping noses as they simply
stared in to each other’s eyes; Rin checking Ryuuji’s resolve, and Ryuuji doing
his damnedest not to flinch away from the look of intense determination in
Rin’s eyes.
            When Ryuuji didn’t turn away Rin leaned against him, pressing their
bodies together, chest to thigh, and kissed him. And for a while that’s all he
did, afraid of scaring Ryuuji off even though he knew he rarely backed down
from something once he’d set his mind to it. Rin fumbled for the lube before
moving it to the nightstand, out of the way but within easy reach. He then let
his hands wander back to Ryuuji’s face, gently holding him as they kissed.
Ryuuji shivered as Rin’s fingers trailed back up to his piercings and Rin
smirked against his mouth.
            “You like them that much?” Ryuuji asked.
            “They’re cool, and I think you like it when I play with them.”
            Ryuuji didn’t answer, merely grunted, but a playful fire lit in
Rin’s eyes as he moved from Ryuuji’s mouth, trailing kisses up his jawline,
back to his ear. Ryuuji bit his lip, trying to keep quiet and not justify Rin’s
previous statement, but he couldn’t stop the little gasps that escaped him as
Rin worked one of his piercings with his teeth, tugging it gently, his hot
breath washing wetly over his ear. Rin for his part couldn’t keep the smile off
his face. He could feel Ryuuji’s cock pressed against his thigh, getting good
and hard again after a little rest, but his own cock was aching, having gone
unattended for so long. Humming softly, he licked his lips and began to suck on
Ryuuji’s neck, the other boy letting his head fall back with a groan, leaning
back on his arms as Rin moved down his chest, alternating between nipping,
kissing, and sucking as he made his way down past his stomach. Ryuuji was
shivering, unable to restrain every little sound of pleasure from escaping him
as Rin finally came face to face with his goal, but his apprehension returned
when Rin reached for the lube. He looked away, his cheeks coloring, before
falling back against the bed and pulling a pillow over his face; a silent
surrender.
            Rin wordlessly emptied the remainder of the lube packet on to his
hand. Tossing the empty container aside, Rin shifted so he was comfortably
between Ryuuji’s legs. Ryuuji jumped at the first touch and Rin resolved to go
slow—really slow—because even though he hadn’t been lying when he said it
didn’t really hurt, he’d partially been banking on the assumption that it would
get better—And that he’d heal real fast if it didn’t. Ryuuji didn’t have that
luxury, but Rin knew this was supposed to work. Somehow.
            He massaged Ryuuji’s entrance gently, simply working in circles
without applying any pressure, sort of hoping he’d just ease in to it, but with
the pillow covering Ryuuji’s face Rin couldn’t really tell how things were
going. The other boy would twitch every so often, his muscles spasming, but Rin
had no idea if it was in pleasure or pain.
            “You okay?” Rin asked. Ryuuji nodded, the pillow bouncing as he
held it in place. That was good at least, but he didn’t seem to be relaxing at
all.
            Rin briefly lamented the fact that he couldn’t reach Ryuuji’s ears,
because that had been an exceptionally good distraction. He’d eased up, getting
more in to things every time Rin had done it, surrendering to his senses. But
then Rin realized he didn’t need to reach Ryuuji’s ears as the other boy
continued to twitch, his cock jumping right before Rin’s eyes.
            He licked his lips as he contemplated it. He’d certainly fantasized
about having it done to him, and he couldn’t deny, maybe once or twice,
thinking about doing it to Ryuuji. Plus he’d been open to the idea of Ryuuji
fucking him, even if it hadn’t been his first choice, so sucking a dick
shouldn’t be that big of a deal in comparison, right? And hey, it was only
fair.
            Ryuuji jumped, tearing the pillow away from his face to stare down
the length of his body as Rin grabbed his dick with his free hand, even as his
other continued to patiently massage Ryuuji’s puckered entrance, and was
rewarded with the sight of Rin taking his cock straight in to his mouth—no
apparent preamble or hesitation.
            A desperate moan was pulled from his throat as Rin sucked, the
slurping sound lewd and unapologetic, and he couldn’t stop himself from
thrusting his hips, not even conscious of the fact that Rin’s finger had
finally penetrated his entrance.
            His head fell back as he clutched at the sheets and Rin continued
to work him from both ends. The half demon’s head bobbed up and down on
Ryuuji’s cock, even as the other boy clenched and spasmed around his finger.
            Ryuuji’s moans rose in pitch and his hands were suddenly in Rin’s
hair, tugging him up and Rin let himself be pulled away, if only because
sucking Ryuuji’s dick was a very good distraction and he didn’t want to lose
it. He’d gotten his finger in right up to the knuckle and Ryuuji hadn’t made a
single comment or complaint.
            Rin sat up, wiping the drool from his chin as Ryuuji lay back
against the bed trying to catch his breath.
            “How you doin’?” Rin asked, giving him a toothy grin, unable to
keep a hint of cockiness from edging in to his voice as he wiggled his finger.
Ryuuji jumped, twitching around him, and lifted his head just long enough to
glare at him and flip him off. Rin chuckled, slowly removing his finger just
far enough to prep the second at his entrance and Ryuuji rewarded him with a
low groan.
            He wanted to give Ryuuji a little time to cool down so Rin brought
his lips back to his cock, this time taking the opportunity to tease him with
his tongue as he started the process of inserting two fingers. Ryuuji hissed
quietly, a sharp intake of breath as Rin ran his tongue up the length of his
cock, tasting the small bead of precum collected at the tip before engulfing
him once more.
            Ryuuji groaned again, pathetic and indecent. The pillow came back
up over his face to muffle those embarrassing sounds, much to Rin’s dismay, but
now he was certain he was on the right track. He couldn’t exactly smile with a
dick in his mouth, but he could try.
            They continued like that for a while; Rin slowly edging Ryuuji
closer and closer, but denying him the bliss of release as he worked him from
both ends, Ryuuji’s thighs twitching all the while, his moans and gasps muffled
by the pillow. Rin had gotten three fingers inside him without complaint when
Ryuuji’s thighs tensed without warning, his toes curling as he clamped down on
Rin’s fingers and shot his load in to his mouth, groaning pathetically beneath
the cheap hotel pillow.
            Rin almost gagged in surprise, but powered through like a champ,
swallowing the load and continuing to suck Ryuuji off as he massaged his
insides, stretching him, prepping him for more. When Ryuuji finally relaxed,
his body sagging with a sigh, Rin removed his fingers and they both took a
moment to catch their breaths.
            Rin’s cock was throbbing, begging for release. It hadn’t received
hardly any attention since they’d stopped dry humping each other, and every
muffled sound, every involuntary twitch of Ryuuji’s body had been a bolt of
electric pleasure, running straight to his groin, and he was slightly worried
that his attempt might end as quickly as Ryuuji’s had. He took a deep breath
and tried to think unsexy thoughts for a moment, giving Ryuuji time to recover
from his orgasm as well, and then realized he was going to have to buy another
condom and packet of lube. He sighed and stood to fish through his pockets,
before realizing he didn’t have the money and moved on to Ryuuji’s wallet,
finding a few hundred yen there.
            He slammed the coins in to the machine and bought the first
available item of each without paying any attention to his selection, collected
the lube and condom from the slot and returned to the bed, his hands starting
to shake.
            He took another deep breath as he began to fumble with the condom
wrapper, almost dropping it, then finally slid the condom on, hissing at the
sensation along his neglected cock.
            Another deep breath. He moved in to position between Ryuuji’s legs,
the other boy flinching slightly at the returned touch. His chest was rising
and falling a little too quickly, as if he too was trying to steady himself, to
prepare for what was coming. The pillow over his face was probably not helping.
Rin grabbed it, yanking it out of Ryuuji’s reach even as he tried to take it
back before glaring at Rin.
            “You sure you’re okay with this?” Rin asked.
            Ryuuji looked away from Rin, his cheeks coloring, but he nodded; a
short, nervous agreement before he could change his mind. He reached for the
pillow again, but Rin tossed it aside.
            “I wanna’ see your face,” Rin said as he lifted Ryuuji’s knees.
Ryuuji gaped at him, confusion and uncertainty clear in his eyes, before a deep
blush fell over his cheeks and his gaze settled somewhere between them.
            Rin tore open the packet of lube, biting his tongue as he slicked
up his own dick before using the rest on Ryuuji, slipping three fingers inside
him to make sure things were still going smoothly, and was rewarded with a
quick exhalation of breath, something akin to a sigh. Rin glanced at his face.
Ryuuji’s mouth was hanging open, his eyes half lidded. Rin removed his fingers
and moved in closer, placing his cock right at Ryuuji’s entrance and simply
holding there.
            Ryuuji’s eyes flicked up to his, his cheeks coloring before he
looked away again. Rin leaned over him, feeling the heat of Ryuuji’s body
beneath his, and pressed their foreheads together. Ryuuji kept his gaze down
even as Rin’s hands came up to his face, his fingers gently stroking his cheeks
and scraping against his stubble. He tilted his head down so they were nose to
nose, kissing him softly, slowly, a gentle graze of lips on lips, and pressed
forward. Ryuuji groaned and bit his lip to stifle the sound. Rin kissed him
again, this time more urgently. He stole the lip from between Ryuuji’s teeth,
sucking on it, then coaxing his way in to Ryuuji’s mouth with his tongue.
            After so long without being touched Rin had to fight to go slowly,
fight the urge to drive himself forward between Ryuuji’s legs. The kissing was
as much as a distraction for him as it was for Ryuuji and his restraint was
beginning to unravel, his thighs shaking from the effort. Teeth scraped across
Ryuuji’s cheek, delicious and dangerous, as Rin drew a line of sloppy open
mouthed kisses back down towards his ear, his breath ragged and hot as he
seated himself completely inside him.
            Ryuuji clutched at Rin’s arms, his own breath desperate and tight
as Rin nipped at his ear, the gentleness gone, replaced with a roughness that
was oddly intoxicating but completely at odds with Rin’s slow pace. He could
feel him—feel Rin inside him—could practically feel his heart beat connecting
them as Rin pressed forward, grinding their hips together. It was different
from before; not uncomfortable just… more, filling him more completely than
fingers ever could. Then Rin pulled back, withdrawing just enough to push
forward again, and Ryuuji hissed between his teeth at the sense of
uncomfortable tightness. Then Rin did it again, all the while worrying Ryuuji’s
piercings between his teeth, tugging, nipping, kissing—his hands buried in his
hair as he gently cradled Ryuuji’s head—and every time he did it got a little
bit easier, until finally Ryuuji was almost empty before Rin pushed in again
and this time there was only that sense of fullness.
            “I-I c-can’t-” Rin breathed right in his ear, his voice shaky and
tight, his restraint on the verge of crumbling.
            Staring up past Rin’s shoulder, Ryuuji’s eyes were now locked on
the mirror, unable to look away. It was like watching himself from outside his
body, his legs up in the air, splayed around Rin’s waist as he knelt between
them, like some kind of tasteful, softcore erotic poster. The sight alone
sparked a tight pang in his chest; a tightness that moved lower through his
gut, setting off butterflies and making it hard for him to breathe.
            “C-Can’t wait,” Rin said, finally getting the words out.
            Ryuuji wrapped his arms around him, locking his legs behind Rin’s
back, watching his own reflection as he did so.
            “Don’t.”
            Rin made a sound, a half strangled groan, before gripping Ryuuji’s
hips and starting to move, rocking in to the boy beneath him as Ryuuji moved to
meet his thrusts. Rin’s tail lashed through the air as his rhythm deteriorated.
He pressed in to Ryuuji harder, faster, lifting his hips slightly, trying to
find the perfect angle, to go deeper, as deep as he could, barely pulling out
between thrusts and something inside Ryuuji jolted, arching his body off the
bed. He stared unseeing in to the mirror as he clung to Rin, his mouth open,
gulping down air. He couldn’t breathe—couldn’t get enough air to cool his
burning body.
            Rin was making desperate little grunts and moans right in to his
ear, the pitch and urgency rising, mimicking the erratic pace of his hips and
almost sounding pained. He’d abandoned his work on Ryuuji’s ear—it was no
longer necessary—and Ryuuji was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to
muster the focus anyway, not that he cared. Whatever Rin was doing, whatever he
was hitting felt good—too good.
            “Sugu-! R-Ryuu- Sooo tight, I can’t-” Rin threw his head back, his
hips snapping forward one last time as his eyes rolled in to the back of his
head and Ryuuji had to choke down surprised laughter, even as he could feel
Rin’s cock spasming inside him. His face! It was the same fucking face he made
when he fell asleep in class; his mouth agape, his eyes half lidded, unseeing.
He was even drooling!
            And then Rin collapsed against him with a groan, reaching up to
wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. Then, after only a moment to catch
his breath, he reached between them to sloppily palm Ryuuji’s cock and started
stroking him. Ryuuji grunted, bucking in to Rin’s fist. He could still feel
him, even though he was rapidly softening, he could still feel Rin inside him
and the sensation of being worked from both ends when he’d already come twice
was too much.
            “R-Rin, please- A-Ah!”
            He was begging, pleading, for that final step that would push him
over the edge, the edge that seemed so close but so far. Rin wound his free
hand through Ryuuji’s hair, pulling his head back and nibbling along the length
of his neck even as he quickly jerked him off, sharp canines grazing sensitive
flesh, and with a final jerk of his hips Ryuuji came for the third time, the
sensation almost painful, his body arching off the bed in to Rin’s grasp as his
vision went white.
            “-love you.”
            Ryuuji froze, his eyes snapping open to stare up at the mirror in
terror, even as the last waves of orgasm left him. Had Rin just said what he
think he’d said?
            Rin had his faced pressed to his neck, now just gently nibbling and
kissing his flesh, his fingers still grazing softly along the length of
Ryuuji’s cock. Ryuuji didn’t—couldn’t—say anything. The words got caught in his
throat, his heart pounding, drowning out all other sound as he lay there
paralyzed, waiting for Rin to notice the silence and pull away.
            Rin did eventually pull away, but it was to stand on jellified legs
with a deep sigh of contentment and wobble his way towards the trash can to
dispose of the condom. He then made his way in to the bathroom and returned
with a damp cloth, which he used to wipe down Ryuuji’s stomach, cleaning him of
his own spunk. When he was finished he tossed the cloth aside and flopped down
beside him, throwing his arm over his chest and curling up at his side. All
Ryuuji could do was stare unseeing up at the ceiling as his thoughts whirled
out of control.
            Maybe he’d misheard Rin? Because that was the kind of thing you had
to acknowledge, right? And yet he’d just lain there like a lump and said
nothing, and Rin didn’t seem the slightest bit upset about it. Should he say
something? Should he ask about it or let sleeping demons lie?
            Because it wasn’t like Ryuuji didn’t like Rin, obviously—really
like him, a lot. But love? They were still teenagers for god’s sake. How did he
even know what love was? Maybe… Maybe just liking Rin a whole lot was enough,
but how the hell was he supposed to know that now? Fighting demons was
dangerous of course, and the rumors about his family’s temple and his father
had been hard to deal with as a child, but Ryuuji had learned the hard way that
he’d led a fairly sheltered upbringing in so many ways, being the only son of
the head of the Myo’dharani.
            He still had so much to learn.
            “R-Rin?” He cleared his throat. “What did you say?”
            “Hmmm, didn’t say anything,” Rin said, mumbling against Ryuuji’s
chest, already half asleep.
            “I mean before, when we were- um…” he trailed off.
            Rin looked up at him, his hair tickling Ryuuji’s face, but even
from that angle the uncertainty was clear on his face as he squinted, thinking
about it, only for his eyes to widen and his cheeks to color as realization
sunk in. He scowled slightly, pouting as he turned his face in towards Ryuuji’s
neck, suddenly bashful.
            “…I said… I love you.” He mumbled, but then more assuredly he
added, “You got a problem with that?”
            “O-of course not,” Ryuuji said quickly, but then he hesitated, his
doubt nagging at him. He pushed himself up on to his elbows so he could
actually look at Rin. “But… Aren’t you upset?”
            Rin looked up at him quizzically. “Why would I be?”
            “B-because… I’m supposed to say it back, aren’t I?”
            “Only if you mean it,” Rin said with a shrug against Ryuuji’s side,
his answer coming so quick and without hesitation that it almost shocked Ryuuji
with its simplicity.
            He tensed, as if waiting for Rin to realize what he’d just said as
the silence stretched on, but instead of pulling away or getting angry, Rin
laughed, stretched up to kiss Ryuuji’s chin and then sat up so they could
comfortably face each other.
            “You overthink everything.”
            “I do not.”
            “You do and you are, right now.”
            “But-”
            Rin kissed him again, silencing him.
            “I’m not stupid. Say it or don’t say it, but you wouldn’t be here
right now if you didn’t like me—I know that—so I’m not worried.”
            “But!-” He bit his lip as he stared Rin down, trying to make sense
of his own confusing feelings, and failing.
            “How can you know you love me when I don’t even know!?”
            Rin shrugged and Ryuuji had to resist the urge to shake him,
clenching his jaw as a throbbing tick developed behind his eye.
            “That is not an answer!”
            “I dunno’,” Rin said, smiling softly, “It’s just how I feel.”
            Ryuuji sighed and rolled his eyes, “Why can't you be serious?” He
flopped down on the bed, looking away from Rin.
            “I’m dead serious,” Rin said, his voice flat. Ryuuji looked up at
Rin to find his smile gone and his cheeks burned as Rin stared at him, their
faces inches apart.
            “Look… I just know, okay?” Rin said, “I can’t put it in to words,
but I know how I feel. But I also know you won’t say it until you can put it in
to words because- You- Overthink- Everything!”
            “No, I don’t-” Ryuuji started, but a sharp look from Rin cut him
off. The half demon released an aggravated huff before he moved to sit on the
edge of the bed, his back to Ryuuji, his shoulders slumped.
            “Do you… regret this?” Rin asked quietly.
            “Wha-? No!” Ryuuji’s answer was automatic, no time to think or
dwell on it, and he was at Rin’s side in an instant. He wrapped his arm around
Rin’s shoulder, leaning their heads together. “Idiot, of course I don’t.”
            He’d almost surprised himself with how quick the answer had come,
and yet Rin smiled up at him, a knowing, cocky smirk, like he honestly hadn’t
expected anything less.
            “Good,” Rin said, giving him a quick peck on the nose, “Next time,
let’s use one of the kinky rooms.”
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