Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13236210.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Free!
  Relationship:
      Matsuoka_Gou/Matsuoka_Rin
  Character:
      Matsuoka_Rin, Matsuoka_Gou, Nanase_Haruka, Tachibana_Makoto, Yamazaki
      Sousuke, Hazuki_Nagisa, Ryuugazaki_Rei, Shigino_Kisumi, Matsuoka_Gou_&
      Rin's_Mother
  Additional Tags:
      Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Underage_Kissing, Incest, Sibling
      Incest, Brother/Sister_Incest, Angst, Angst_with_a_Happy_Ending, Heavy
      Angst, Angst_and_Feels, So_much_angst, like_i_cried_while_writing_this,
      Poor_Rin, No_Underage_Sex, Smut_in_chapter_5_and_beyond, Pregnancy,
      Unplanned_Pregnancy, Sibling_Love
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-01-01 Completed: 2018-01-11 Chapters: 6/6 Words: 21066
****** Lemons ******
by bealovelylady
Summary
     Life did not go the way either of them would have planned. They were
     stuck in a situation neither of them really wanted to be in; when
     life hands you lemons but it’s morally wrong to make lemonade (no
     matter how much you really want to), what are you left with? Just a
     bunch of lemons, that’s what. Rin and Gou Matsuoka were left with a
     bunch of fucking lemons and life was forcing them to figure out what
     to do with said lemons. And no one could help them figure out what to
     do with the lemons, because the only two who knew about the lemons
     were Rin and Gou, and they would both rather die before sharing the
     news of their lemons with anyone else.
Notes
     I'm sorry. That's all I can say.
     ---
     If you're not comfortable with sibling incest, THIS FIC IS NOT FOR
     YOU!! You have been warned. Also, if you don't handle angst or
     feelings well, probably not for you either.
     The underage tag is for some minor things that happen (masturbation,
     kiss). NO SEX.
     Also familiarity with A/B/O helps ALOT, just FYI.
***** Prologue & Chapter One: When Life Hands You Lemons *****
Chapter Notes
     I decided to put the Prologue and Chapter 1 together, I hope that's
     not confusing for anyone, but it messes with my OCD if all the other
     chapters say Chapter Two: Chapter One lol
     I'm gomen.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Life did not go the way either of them would have planned. They were stuck in a
situation neither of them really wanted to be in; when life hands you lemons
but it’s morally wrong to make lemonade (no matter how much you really want
to), what are you left with? Just a bunch of lemons, that’s what. Rin and Gou
Matsuoka were left with a bunch of fucking lemons and life was forcing them to
figure out what to do with said lemons. And no one could help them figure out
what to do with the lemons, because the only two who knew about the lemons were
Rin and Gou, and they would both rather die before sharing the news of their
lemons with anyone else.
Rin
Age 12 is an important age for boys, especially in an alpha/beta/omega society,
as this is when your traits start showing themselves and you present as one of
the three. But for Rin Matsuoka, it was important for a different reason; he
was stepping into manhood, one move closer to following in his father's
footsteps. His mind was filled with swimming, with winning, with achieving
something by his own power.
That's why, after he and his three childhood friends finally won a trophy for a
swimming competition, the feelings that hit him so fiercely felt like a
betrayal to everything he was striving for. Winning didn't feel as great as he
had always dreamed it would; in fact, he barely felt anything at all. He was
still Rin Matsuoka, his father was still dead, and he was still only 12 years
old, in a small town in Japan, no fame or notoriety to his name.
The emptiness of the feeling was the worst of all. When Rin had told Haruka,
Makoto, and Nagisa that he was going to Australia and to make sure they watched
him, cause one day he'd be great, he'd been swelled with pride, knowing that
one day the world would be his. But as they buried the trophy they'd won by the
big tree and wrote their wishes in the sand, Rin felt empty. It was like the
ocean was in his ears and he felt nothing.
This heart-aching empty feeling had carried him home in a trance and found him
lying on his bed sobbing. His sister Gou had snuck in silently and had laid
with him on his bed, rubbing his back, silent as the night. Her presence had
always been soothing to him; they didn't have to share words, the bond they
shared was strong and silent and they just knew what the other needed. So Gou
lay curled up against his back as he sobbed into his pillow, his body shaking
violently against her small frame, but she didn't move, simply rubbed his back
until he slowly stilled and fell to sleep.
Everyone had always marveled at the siblings' relationship. It was quiet and
strong, and the two had been the apple of their father's eye. He had died when
they were young. Rin remembered very little of his dad, Gou even less; they had
spent most of their childhood relying on each other.
It was two days before Rin was set to go to Australia (Gou had cried for a
week, begging him not to go, but she had finally accepted it quietly), and they
were in the large family tub, taking a bath together like they always did.
Everything was going well and fine until suddenly the bath water was way too
hot for Rin and he felt really tight in between his legs.
He began panting and Gou leaned forward, concerned for her older brother, but
that was when he smelled it.
Smelled her.
Gou had always smelled really sweet, like strawberries and sugar, but when she
leaned towards him that day in the tub, he felt like he was drowning as his
body flared up.
"Onii-chan?" Gou's voice rang softly, sweetly, like little bells around the
small bathroom space, and Rin had to shut his eyes tight as a wave of desire
rolled over his body. He'd been told about this; everyone in his class had been
there the day they talked to the boys and girls about Alphas and Omegas, heat
and rutting. He understood what was happening to his body. What he didn't
understand was, why now?
As Gou's body came closer, her scent became more and more intoxicating. His
eyes went blind for a moment and when he came back to, his lips were pressed
lightly against his sister’s, her eyes wide.
It took him way too long to realize his horrible mistake, way too long to fight
back his urges to grab her tighter and hug her to his chest, far too long to
push her away from him roughly. She slid through the bath water and her back
slammed against the side of the tub, her breath leaving her lungs in a rush,
eyes wide with shock. Rin didn't have time or the right presence of mind to
make sure his sister was okay. He jumped out of the tub like he was flying,
tossing apologies over his shoulder to his sister, and dashed out of the room,
grabbing at his crotch to conceal his hardness.
That night was the first night that Rin's bedroom door was locked, denying Gou
access, and he found her the next morning, right outside his door, where she'd
spent the night huddled in blankets, listening to his muffled sobs as he’d
rutted against his mattress. He stepped over her sleeping body gingerly, woke
his mom to ask her to take Gou to bed, and locked himself back in his room.
Gou
It was like their bond had been severed overnight and Gou was completely lost
as to what had happened. She knew nothing of Alpha or Omegas, or heats or
rutting. All she knew was that her brother had kissed her in the bath, out of
the blue, slammed her against the wall of the tub, and not spoken to her again.
There was still a tender bruise on the top half of her back when they stood in
front of the airport a day later. Rin was avoiding all eye contact with his
sister and for once, Gou was the one who wanted to cry her eyes out. She
thought about asking him again to stay, begging him to tell her what was wrong,
taking his hand until he looked her in the eyes, but she stayed still and
silent, all the while her little heart breaking.
Rin only looked at her once before turning away. The look they shared was
foreign and unknown. It was the first time Gou couldn't sense what her brother
was thinking. He was clenching his jaw, biting at his lip, holding back tears
to be strong and brave for her, and she just stared at him with the saddest
eyes.
He said nothing, simply turning away, shoulders hunched over as he trudged into
the airport by himself. His figure was small and he looked even shorter hunched
over like that. She wanted to call out his name one last time, tell him to call
them, but a pit was growing in her stomach and she was so scared. The fear was
inexplicable and she couldn't place its origin, but there it was, clenching her
stomach into a tight wad of sorrow and loneliness.
She was petrified that this was the last time she would ever see her brother
again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------
Chapter_One
Gou
"It seems like Rin's back in town."
It was the first time Gou had heard the name in a long time. The mention of it
was painful; the two had barely spoken since that night in the bathtub almost
six years ago, all contact ceasing completely two years ago.
x
When Rin called home to speak to their mother every other week, she would
always inevitably hand the phone off to Gou, begging the boy to please cheer
your sister up, she's been so sad since you've left, she barely leaves her
room.
But they were always silent. Just hearing his breathing on the end of the line
was good for Gou, but his silence was heart-wrenching. The first call, she'd
asked him softly after a few minutes of silence,
"Onii-chan, are you mad at me?"
His response had been short, just a gruff, "No," but Gou thought it was enough.
They had stayed silent, just breathing, and hung up ten minutes later.
It was not until Gou turned 12, when they piled all the kids in her age group
together in a classroom and told them about Alphas and Omegas, heats and
rutting. It took Gou another month to fully understand what it all meant, what
had possibly happened in the bathtub, but she wanted her brother to know that
it was okay, it was just a biological response that happened to all Alphas. He
had simply presented at that time, it happened to everyone.
"I love you, Onii-chan," she had told him quietly during their next phone call.
There had been a short hitch in his breath, but he said nothing this time, and
they hung up after fifteen minutes of peaceful silence.
Gou had started to live for the bi-weekly phone calls. It was how she
recharged, how she was able to get up each morning and face another day without
her brother by her side. They never spoke, the silence was always there, but it
grew comfortable and sometimes she would even fall asleep listening to the
sound of his breathing, the phone pressed tight against her ear.
It was on her fifteenth birthday that she got her first cell phone, and she'd
excitedly waited for her brother's call to the landline so she could tell him
they could message or call more often.
She was lying on Rin's bed in his room, where she went on nights when the pain
of missing him was far too much to bear alone. She would wrap herself in the
blankets that smelled like him and reminded her of their childhood, and hug
tight his pillow that he'd sobbed into on many occasions. His bed was always
cold, but soon she would warm it with her body heat and she could sleep
peacefully for a night.
She had her new phone clutched tightly in her fist, curled into Rin's
comforter, when it rang loudly in her hand. The screen told her the number was
unknown, calling from somewhere outside Japan. It could only be one person.
"Onii-chan," she breathed out as soon as she answered the call.
"I heard you got a cell phone from Mom," was all his voice said, but it was
overwhelming. His voice had gotten deeper, and he sounded like a man, someone
she didn't know. He spoke softly, but his tone was clipped, as if just hearing
her call to him was painful. That feeling she'd had in the airport bubbled up
again inside her, rising like a tidal wave, grinding her stomach in its mighty
grasp, until it crashed into her and she began to sob, loud, unrestrained,
guttural sobs.
"Gou?" came the voice again, this time overflowing with concern, worried, and
it told her all she needed to know. Her brother loved her still, he still
cared. Something had happened that she still didn't fully understand and he was
suffering by himself, all these years. How had she not known?
She had her face buried deep into his pillow, her tears soaking it wet, her
phone pressed deep into the shell of her ear so it felt like he was laying
right beside her, breath in her ear, when another feeling hit her out of
nowhere.
Her body's temperature spiked by twenty degrees as his smell invaded her
nostrils, his breathing her ear drums, and she realized for the first time how
good her brother had always smelled, incredibly good, and his breathing was
like a grand orchestra in her ears, ringing beautifully. When he said her name
again, heat flooded her stomach and she moaned, the sound coming out before she
could close her throat around it.
Rin had heard her, she could tell by the dead silence that followed. She was
whimpering now, scared, but a different kind of fear, fear of the unknown and
the heat building inside her and her brother's silence.
"Fuck," was all he muttered finally, anger lacing the word, barely contained,
guilt coursing throughout the four letter word.
Realization crashed into her as her whole being cried out for her brother.
She'd heard rumors of this, of Soulmates. It was an undeniable, unbreakable
bond between an alpha and omega that was formed in the first moments of
meeting, strengthened when the two presented and blossomed in their respective
new traits, usually one of the two kickstarting the process for the other and
vice versa. It didn't happen often, was very rare indeed, so it wasn't openly
discussed, but as she lay shivering violently in her brother's bed, her panties
growing soaked, it all hit her like a ton of bricks.
What had actually happened in the bathtub all those years ago, why her brother
was avoiding her, daring not to speak, why he had looked so angry and confused
when he'd left that day. She had induced her brother's first rut and now his
voice and scent had shocked her body into it's own Omega heat.
By some cruel twist of fate, the universe had destined these two as Soulmates.
Gou's breathing was rough; she was trying very hard not to hyperventilate. Her
biggest fear now wasn't really the fact that she was tied by the red string of
fate to her older sibling of all people; no, it was the fear that now Rin would
really leave her. She was going through her first heat, her destined partner
millions of miles away from her, and she was suffering. Her breath shuddered as
she moved between sobbing and trying to breath, and the silence on the other
end of the line was heavy, so heavy. Their era of peaceful, silent phone calls
had come to a screeching halt and once again, their relationship was radically
changed, the whole thing out of their control.
Lemons.
The silence stretched on, grating on her raw nerves, and she wished Rin would
just speak, say something, anything. When she couldn't take it anymore, her
body dripping with sweat and slick, she sobbed out, "Onii-chan."
He was silent for a beat longer, and then he said in the smallest voice she'd
ever heard from him, "I'm so sorry, Gou."
And her heart shattered. It felt like he was saying goodbye to her, and if that
was true, she was broken. No one but Rin would be able to piece her together
again, and she was sure she would wither away in her heat in his bed, waiting
for his return. "Please don't leave me," she screamed into the phone, her mind
going white. "Please come home, Onii-chan."
She was inconsolable, her body racked with earth shattering sobs. The bed frame
creaked wildly underneath her as she screamed her sorrows out.
"Onii-chan, I love you, please come home," she wailed at him, begging him,
pleading with her life.
When his voice came back, it was thick and heavy with emotion. She knew he was
crying, covering his mouth so she wouldn't hear as his heart broke for his
sister, but all he whispered, with all the regret in the world, was "I'm so
sorry, Gou."
The phone was pulled away from her ear then, and she screamed her brother's
name, tears blurring her vision so she couldn't see who was there, as she
thrashed against her mother's body in agony.
A sharp prick pierced her flesh, but she barely recognized it. Her mother was
holding her tight and strong, soothing her, rubbing her back until the drugs
stopped her heat and she slipped into the darkness, sleep coming to take her
exhausted form away. And she slept like that for five days.
x
That was why when, at the ripe age of sixteen, she was sitting on the school's
rooftop, eating lunch with the Iwatobi swim club members huddled around her
nutritious bento box, she barely responded.
Rin had never called her again after her first heat, but she knew why. The best
thing for them was distance and no communication. Whatever destiny had chosen
for them, it could never be, because they were brother and sister, so they had
to fight it. Gou didn't want to understand why, didn't want to fight it, but
she knew they could never be together. Her body had betrayed her, betrayed
their childhood bond, and at this point, she was tired from the relentless
heats that were barely calmed by the drugs her mother gave her, and the nightly
crying. She didn't step foot into Rin's bedroom anymore, because that was a
recipe for disaster. She had gotten rid of everything that reminded her of him,
all the present he'd ever given her, all the photos of them happy together, and
buried them in a box in the back yard, because she couldn't bear to actually
throw them away.
The only thing she kept was a necklace he'd sent her, ordered and shipped
straight from a local jewelry store, for her sixteenth birthday. A small note
inside had read, "Gou. I love you. I'm sorry. - Rin"
It didn't smell like him, but still it hung around her neck. She wore it daily,
a hope and a prayer that all of this was just a dream, that he would return and
they could just be brother and sister again, a hope that the world wasn't so
cruel as to force this kind of immoral relationship on them. But Gou had
acknowledged that separation was best, no matter how much it made her soul
ache.This was for the best, she told herself repeatedly.
"Gou, do you know anything?" Nagisa was asking her, bounding all over as his
boyfriend Rei tried to control him, to no avail, both completely unaware of the
turmoil going on behind Gou's calm eyes. She had gotten very good at hiding her
emotions, smiling when she wanted to cry.
Makoto was the only one who sometimes picked up on her mood shifts. As was the
case now, as he leaned forward, trying to catch her eyes and attention. When
their eyes met, his gaze questioning, she gave one short, tight shake of her
head, begging the green-eyed boy to let it go. He obliged slowly, clenching the
hand that would have patted softly against her back. Haru watched the
interaction between the two Omegas from the corner of his eye.
"No," Gou finally responded as Nagisa calmed down, eyes peering at her
curiously, wondering at her silence. "Nothing."
Nagisa's tirade against the red-head began then, wondering where Rin was and
why hadn't he contacted any of them, what, was he some big shot now since he’d
swam in Australia? "According to my mom, he's been in town for weeks!"
"Maybe he's going to a different school?" Rei offered, completely unfamiliar
with the situation and the person named 'Rin'.
"What other school is there?!" Nagisa cried out.
The conversation continued on as they narrowed down the schools in the area to
Samezuka Academy, the only school with boarding for students, which would
explain why he wasn't at home, and Gou had reached her limits way before Nagisa
suggested a swim club scouting mission to scope out the school in question.
When Nagisa asked Gou if she was coming with them, it was the last straw. She
covered her mouth to hold in her sob and stood quickly. She grabbed her blazer
and turned to run away, down the stairs and into the closest, empty girl's
bathroom. Confused voices followed her but she heard nothing, didn't dare to
think until she slammed into a bathroom near the science classrooms, bolting
the stall door at the back and sinking to the cold toilet seat. She wrung her
jacket in her hands and sobbed into it, her wails shuddering off the walls of
the small bathroom.
More than anything she'd wanted to say, "Yes, let me go with you!" She wanted
nothing but to see her brother's face again, see how he'd grown up, hear his
voice which was possibly even deeper now than the last time, hear him call her
name, his tone happy, a smile on their faces as they ran to each other and
hugged. But it was all a fantasy. None of those things would ever happen. All
she had was her loneliness and suffering to keep her company. She couldn't even
rely on day dreams or wishes any more, because everything was painful. How was
she supposed to live her whole life like this? She was only 16 and she felt
like she'd lived for centuries, been through the wringer more times than anyone
could count. She was tired.
After a while, once she'd calmed herself, a soft knock came to the bathroom
stall she'd holed herself in, and her best friend's soft voice asked if she was
okay.
"Do you need heat medicine?" Chigusa asked.
"No," Gou told her weakly as she reached to unlock the door. Chi took one look
at her and pushed into the stall, sinking to her knees to pull the shell of a
girl into her embrace, holding her tight against her chest.
Rin
There were a lot of things that Rin would change if he could, but all the
things that were wrong in his life were way beyond his control, so he dove
headfirst into things he could control: headfirst into the heated pool at
Samezuka Academy.
His lost drive after his win with his childhood friends during elementary
school had returned with a fervor when everything with Gou had crashed in
around his feet. The only thing he knew was swimming now; it kept him sane and
not crippled with depression in his bed. He could forget the loss of his
sister, his raging hormones, and that lump always threatening in the back of
his throat if he just swam.
He barely knew any of his teammates, because everyone who spoke to him was
lashed out at in anger. Sousuke was the only one who ignored Rin's rage and
swam beside him. He was the only one who knew Gou even existed, could guess why
Rin was always in such a foul mood. The boy had once suggested that Rin should
just go see the girl, which was a huge mistake that he'd nearly lost a few
limbs over. He wouldn't repeat it again, so Gou's name was never spoken again.
Not until four boys were hauled in from outside, declared as spies sent from a
rival school to scope out the swimming competition.
"Rin!" a voice screeched from the other end of the pool. Memories Rin didn't
wish to revisit slammed into him because he knew that voice. It hadn't changed
much from the time they were kids at the swim club.
Rin groaned a curse out under his breath, wondering what the likelihood was
that he could pretend he wasn't Rin, was someone else. Someone who was allowed
to be in love with Gou, he thought bitterly.
But it was a fruitless endeavor as a small body slammed against his back. He
took a cautious sniff of the air, but she wasn't there. He wasn't sure if he
was relieved or disappointed. He wondered how she looked now, what kind of
woman she'd grown into. He wanted to see her, hug her, look her in the eyes
again. But he knew just how dangerous any of those things would be, so he'd
refrained from returning home, opting to go straight to the Academy's dorm
rooms, not calling or even texting to let her know he was back in town. It was
best that she not know, for however long, because knowing meant stirring up the
longing.
"Nagisa," Rin grumbled before turning to the bright, cheery face beaming up at
him. Haru and Makoto were there too, standing at a distance as if to gauge
Rin's reaction, along with a blue-haired boy with red framed glasses he didn't
recognize.
Unsatisfied with Rin's reaction, Nagisa dragged the red head over to the other
three and introduced the blue-haired one as Rei. Rin grunted out his greetings.
Haru looked just the same, disinterested expression, lake blue eyes darting to
the pool beside them. Makoto was taller, bigger, but still the same sheepish
boy he had always been.
"Hey," Rin greeted them, the other two boys giving nods in acknowledgement.
Nagisa chattered on for a few more minutes, and before they left, Haru pulled
Rin aside and told him, "I know it's gonna be hard, but you should go see her."
His eyes held Rin's in a tight lock. I don't know what happened between you
two, but figure it out, they seemed to say.
Rin shook his head. Haru didn't know, couldn't comprehend. It wasn't like
they'd just had a falling out or something, something that could be mended or
made right. No. If Rin saw Gou, he would be unable to leave her again, unable
to hold back, and the resulting relationship would be wrong, no matter how
right it would feel for them.
"At least text her," Haru said as his final parting words, pushing a piece of
paper into Rin's palm, his voice strict. "She's not doing good."
The words were like a punch to Rin's gut. To hear that Gou was suffering, even
though he knew she was, but to actually hear it from someone's lips... Rin
walked away numbly from the pool and his team mates and returned to his dorm
room, locking the door. He sunk into his bed, pulling the covers all the way
over his head, hugging his pillow close to his chest.
His phone was gripped tight in his hand, but he dared not open it, because he
knew he would type in the number Haru had given him and text his sister, and
that was no good at all.
x
His mother had been begging to see him, begging him to come home and have
dinner with them as a family again, and so far, Rin had been able to put it
off. But now it was nearing the winter holidays, and Gou's seventeenth
birthday, and he couldn't put it off anymore.
Haru texted him once a week, reminding him to message Gou, why hadn't he done
it yet? The texts became more frequent as the months dragged on, warm spring
air turning sweltering and then cooling off again, and one day, tired of being
ignored or put off, Haru showed up at his dorm room.
"Fuck you, Rin," were the first words out of Haru's mouth. It was so out of
character, so unlike the boy who cared about nothing other than water and his
huge collection of purple and black swim jammers. "It's been ten months, and
you couldn't even send one text message?"
Haru's blue eyes were icy as he stared the other boy down. "If I didn't know
you better, I'd say you don't care at all about Gou's well being."
Rin's head snapped up at the comment. "I lo-!" But he clenched his lips tight
before he could finish the sentence. It was infuriating for him too, damn it,
even more than Haru could ever imagine, but what the fuck else could he do. The
daily reminder texts from Haru were torture enough, but having the boy here,
staring him down-
"You wouldn't fucking understand, Haru!" Rin screamed at his friend. His eyes
were ringed with dark circles and slightly puffy from the sleepless nights
spent crying, and why the fuck couldn't the boy see that he was also suffering
and in pain.
"What the hell could be so bad that you can't even pick up your phone to speak
to her?! What did she do to you that's so unforgivable?" Haru's voice was calm,
his volume not raised at all, but the tone he used was cold and relentless, his
eyes drilling deep into the side of Rin's skull as the red head glared at the
ground, trying to keep his tears in.
It was a natural conclusion, of course, for Haru to think that something like
an argument or fight had happened between the two siblings. It was the only
logical conclusion, because the reality was unfathomable. Even if Rin told Haru
the truth of the situation, which he never would, the black haired boy would
never believe him. Rin wouldn't believe it himself if he hadn't felt the
irrefutable attraction, felt the heat grow from Gou's scent, and how she
smelled like his. It was unimaginable unless you experienced it yourself.
"Can you please just... not." It was all Rin could say, his voice and body
language completely defeated. Haru sensed the change in the other Alpha, his
fighting spirit crumbling to the ground, and Haru was baffled, because never
had he known a meek Rin.
"What happened between you two?" he asked, not getting the hint to leave,
please drop it and just leave, Haru ever clueless. His tone was milder now,
something close to concern in his words.
Rin sucked in a breath before saying anything, his voice betraying his
emotions, because it was all too much and he didn't want to think about it
anymore. About how much he missed Gou, how much he wanted to just text her, see
her, tell her how sorry he was and that he loved her so much. About how fucking
cruel the whole thing really was. "Is she okay?"
Haru's eyes flamed with indignation. "Of course she's not okay! Why do you
think I'm here?" His voice dropped a few decibels before adding, "She's just
trying to hold herself together and get through each day. She's strong, Rin,
but-"
Rin could hear what Haru was implying at. No one could hold on living life like
that, not for long. Lesser people would have broken long ago, but his sister
was a pillar of strength, and he felt so cruel for dragging her through this,
but what could he do? He thought he had chosen the best route for them,
thinking that no contact was the only thing that would work, as if their
feelings might fade.
But it wasn't working. It hadn't for a long, long time. Probably since the
beginning. Oh, who was he kidding: it had never worked. Trying to make it work
was a pipe dream that he still clung to, but it was quickly slipping from his
grasp.
"Okay," was all he could say, and Haru, never a man to say much more than
needed to be said, nodded and slipped out of the dorm room, leaving quietly.
Rin pulled out his phone before he lost his nerve and texted his mom.
Chapter End Notes
     Yeah, that's it, that's the underage stuff, pretty much.
     Again, I wish to apologize. It does not get better until like...
     well, you'll see.
     I tried to make it understandable but I don't write angst well so
     please excuse me if it's confusing in the beginning. Any feedback is
     welcome! I'm not sure how long this will be, but I've got like 5
     chapters so far sooo...
     I hope you guys enjoy it. <3
***** Chapter Two *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Gou
The days rolled by, one after the other, all blending and melding into one. It
was the end of November now and she was barely hanging on to her sanity.
Everyone around her was excited for her birthday, asking her what she wanted,
and all she could think was, Rin. I want Rin, I want to see my brother. But she
never dared voice it out loud, because saying it would snap her string that
anchored her in place, would break the illusion that she could survive like
this. So instead she just said, "Money's good," making up something she was
saving up for.
"We'll have a nice birthday dinner; I'll make your favorites," her mom said to
her one night.
It was hard for Gou to look at Miyako Matsuoka anymore, because she could see
how much her mother had aged, worrying over her children in the last few years,
the sadness that had rooted in her soul shinning through in her tired eyes. Gou
had grown weary of apologizing to her, her mother asking, "For what", and Gou
unable to respond. She could never say it, especially not to her mother. She
was sure the confession of Rin and Gou's pre-determined Alpha/Omega bond would
send their mother to an early grave. Their father's death had already taken
enough of a toll.
And so she didn't really look at her mother anymore, only gazing at her side
profile while she cooked or folded laundry, because that was all she could bear
to do. Her existence was already too fragile. But sometimes her mother would be
sitting on the couch watching TV and Gou would snuggle up to her, not a word
passed between them as Miyako wrapped her up in a blanket. On especially hard
nights, she would crawl into bed with her mom. The matriarch of the Matsuoka
family never asked questions on these occasions, simply enjoying the company of
her daughter and grateful to know that Gou still needed her, even if it was
hard to see that sometimes. She did the best she could as a mother, to soothe
and comfort her children and ease their troubles, but the trouble Gou had could
not be touched by even a mother's deepest wishes for her child's well being.
"This Saturday okay?" Miyako had asked softly, and Gou simply nodded.
x
Haru had become more attentive to Gou in the last few months, as much as an
Alpha could be for an Omega that wasn't his. Makoto, of course, doted over her
like a mother hen, but they had quickly learned that sometimes the best thing
was just to leave Gou alone. If they became too invasive and asked too many
questions, she would simply shut down until the subject was changed.
Haru and Makoto both understood on some level that the pain Gou felt was not
something either of them could fix. But they knew how to lessen it: no one
mentioned Rin, no one spoke of her lack of Alpha mate, and no one, no one asked
her about the future. Nagisa and Rei had been given a strict talking to when
their manager was away, and they too knew better than to bring up the taboo
subjects.
Gou was grateful for the four of them and her best friend Chigusa, who seemed
more than happy not to ask too many questions as she babbled on about her
boyfriend or school exams or a new purse she wanted to buy. Chigusa instead
showed her affection via offered make overs and slumber parties, crepe and
shopping dates, and study sessions in the library. Anything to get Gou out of
her house and her mind off her pain.
"Wanna do something Saturday?" Chi had asked her on Wednesday.
She had almost accepted, a knee-jerk reaction, but then she remembered her
dinner plans with her mom. "Can't," was all she said, with a sad smile to her
friend. "I've got a birthday dinner planned with my mom."
"That's good. Have fun," her friend had grinned back at her.
x
"Honey, will you set the table for me? I don't want to walk away from the
stove," Miyako called to Gou over a steaming pot of whatever she was cooking
that smelled really good. Every time Gou had tried to step into the kitchen,
her mother had shooed her out again. "The plates and silverware are already on
the table."
Gou stood from the couch and padded into the dinning room. The table was
covered in her mom's best tablecloth and, like she'd said, plates and
silverware sat on the end closest to the kitchen entrance. But something was a
little off.
"Mom," Gou called out. "Why are there three sets of plates and silverware?"
There were three glasses too, so it couldn't be a simple counting error on her
mother's part.
"Oh," she heard her mom's voice just as the doorbell rang. "Could you get
that?" her mother asked, and she couldn't help but feel like her mother had
just been given the perfect chance to avoid answering her question.
Gou padded in trepidation towards the front door; whoever she would find behind
it was probably the reason for the third plate, right? Who could it be? Had her
mom invited one of her friends over? Maybe Chigusa?
She grabbed the door handle and swung it open, a cold blast of air hitting her
warmed cheeks. She blinked right as the door opened, and when her eyes opened
again-
It hit her like a tsunami. His smell was most prominent, but even the way he
looked and how his fiery red eyes were trained on her, everything was too much.
She had tried and failed so many times to imagine and then not imagine what he
looked like now, but everything she’d imagined felt so fake when he was
standing right in front of her, real flesh and blood. His scent was
overpowering; she wasn't sure if it was the rush of emotions or her olfactory
senses flaring open and gulping in his smell that made her eyes tear up.
His eyes were glued to her, taking her everything in, just like she was doing
with him. A soft sob escaped her as solid tears rolled down her cheeks. She
couldn't speak, couldn't form the syllables to say his name; his presence,
after so many years of not having it near, was too much for her to handle, and
she felt her knees going weak. She leaned a hand against the wall beside her as
her legs threatened to give out underneath her.
His hair was a little longer and his body was taller, much taller, and more
built then when she'd last seen him, stalking away from her, a small boy,
shoulders hunched. Her brother was a man now, a really handsome man. He was
wiping his palms on his jeans over and over, his eyes never leaving hers as his
gaze looked over her entire body. She had grown too; she wondered how she
looked in Rin's eyes.
"Gou."
It was the first word he'd spoken to her in almost two years, and it was
overwhelming to hear his deep voice call her name like that. His bottom lip was
trembling a little before he bit down on it, but his eyes were unwavering.
"Onii-chan," she finally managed to squeak out, tears now streaming like a
waterfall down her cheeks. Something was stirring not just in her heart, but
deep in the pit of her gut, a fire building quickly.
She took a big gulp of air to try to steady herself, but that was a huge
mistake. His pheromones drove into her, going straight to her brain, her heart,
and her knees buckled. She clenched her eyes shut to prepare for her knees to
hit the tile of the entryway, but the impact never came. Instead, warm, strong
arms engulfed her entirely and suddenly all the pain from the last 5 years flew
away. She was finally home, in the arms she belonged, in the embrace of her
soulmate, the one she loved.
Her body shook with sobs as she clenched up at his shirt, his collar, pulling
closer so she could bury her nose in his neck and inhale. She shuddered as he
squeezed her tight, his hot breath beating against her exposed neck.
"I'm sorry, Gou," he whispered right into the shell of her ear, but she only
held him closer, arms wrapped tight around his neck.
"Please don't apologize, not now." Don't ruin this moment by pulling me back to
reality.
He sat back a little, his eyes burning with fervent desire. Years without
seeing each other, without hearing the other’s voice was wreaking havoc on
their sensibilities, and when their eyes locked, Rin began to lean into her and
she into him.
Rin
Their lips were a millimeter apart, just a small breath away, when Miyako's
voice rang through the house. They froze and Rin was the first to turn his head
away. His hand tightened for a moment on her back, regret of having to let her
go and anger for so quickly succumbing to his Alpha desires to claim her. He
thought for a fleeting moment that this had all been a very terrible mistake.
He let her go and stood swiftly, Gou still trying to collect herself on the
floor, her pheromones heavy and thick in the air. Rin had never smelled her
before, not like this. She was potent and she smelled like his, like something
he wanted, needed to mark. He had half a mind to turn and walk back out the
door, because being in such close proximity was a grand mistake. Had he really
thought he could be this close to her, hear her voice, see how beautiful she'd
become, and not be overcome by instinct, by love.
But it wasn't love, he scolded himself, trying to make himself believe. It's
just lust, just a stupid preconditioned response as an Alpha to an Omega.
He almost left, tears stinging behind his eyes, but then his mother was there
in the entry way with them and he didn’t. She greeted Rin warmly, unaware of
the air rampant with sexual frustration and desire, and her eyes shot to Gou,
on her knees.
"Gou! Are you okay? What happened?"
Gou accepted her mother's hand, shrinking a little behind Miyako and her small
frame when she was upright again, as if putting up a barrier between her and
Rin. "Nothing, I just got a little dizzy," she mumbled before clambering off to
the dining room.
Rin's eyes couldn't help but follow her. He could sense her distress and angst;
it was grating on his nerves, his Alpha senses commanding him to soothe and
calm his Soulmate. But his mother was in the way, and it took everything in him
not to growl down at the small woman.
"Rin, darling! You've gotten so tall, look at you," she was crooning up at her
son, reaching out to run her hands along his arms and pull him in for a hug.
"It's been far too long. You need to come see me more."
"Mom," Rin whispered as he wrapped arms around her, her scent soothing after
the assault Gou’s had done on his senses. She'd gotten so skinny, he felt she
might break in his grip. What had they done to her? Was it all really worth it?
He had caused more pain to those around him than the good he'd been trying to
achieve. What was the right answer? He squeezed his mother tight as he fought
back his tears. "I've missed you."
The hug was long and good for his soul, and he felt a little lonely when she
pulled back to rest thin hands on his face, examining his features.
"You look tired," she bemoaned. He knew it was true; he knew why. And he could
say the same thing about her. Her hair was starting to go a little grey in
places, her skin looking tired and her eyes worn out. She was still beautiful,
but she looked weary. What had he done?
"Dinner's ready, come inside. Take your shoes off," she scolded him like she
always used to do, before turning back to enter the main house.
x
Dinner was long and arduous and it was hard to sit across from his sister and
not stare at her longingly. He could only steal furtive glances, hoping that
they never looked at the same time.
It was true that Gou had grown up: her face had matured and she'd gotten
taller, but she still seemed so small as she sat hunched over her dinner plate,
eyes glued to her food. It made it even more unbearable to see her like that
when he thought of how many dinners and lunches and breakfasts she'd spent
looking so listless.
Rin helped her mother clear off the table, and when she began to pull out
candles for Gou's cake, Rin stopped her hands and said, "Mom, I wanna talk to
Gou first for a bit."
Miyako's eyes lit up as she looked up at her son, thin hands wrapping around
his strong ones. She was trembling as she nodded her head, eyes brimming a
little with tears. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm
sorry, Mom." He felt like half his life was spent apologizing to the ones he
loved the most.
The house was all the same. He made note of everything as he walked through the
hallway; his first stop was Gou's room, but it was dark and empty. His eyes
roamed around and he spotted all the empty spaces on her walls where photos of
him, of them together, had hung, empty spots on dressers missing little
trinkets he'd gifted her. It was like an arrow to his heart, but he couldn't
blame her. He'd done worse; he'd left it all behind to burn down in flames
behind him.
He found her in his old bedroom. She was curled into a tight ball atop his
comforter, and he thought from the slight shake of her shoulders that she was
crying, but the room was silent and her voice steady when she spoke.
"Why did you come?"
Her tone wasn't accusatory. It was more like she was asking why now, why not
sooner.
"It's your birthday, Gou," he told her, a blatant misdirection from the real
issue at hand.
She scoffed. "We're too old for lies like that. Don't treat me like everybody
else in the world."
She was right, as she'd always been. She didn't deserve to be treated like just
another human, or even just his sister. What they had was the whole reason they
were in this mess as two broken people; she deserved better from him.
"Yeah," was all he could say. Another apology formed on his lips but he bit it
back, because that wasn't what she wanted or deserved either.
"I thought I was doing what was best." He moved closer to her but she stopped
him with a grunt.
"Don't."
He froze.
"Please don't," and this time she was crying. Her voice shook harshly on the
words, and again he wanted to soothe, to make it better, but it wasn't his
right. He'd given that up when he'd chosen by himself that they'd be better off
apart. "I know it would have been hard - probably downright impossible - but I
needed you, Onii-chan, and you weren't here." Her last word caught on a sob and
she gulped it out, her body trembling.
He couldn't deny or refute her. It was true; he'd done a really shit thing, and
he had nothing to say.
"What are we supposed to do? I can't (sob) live on like this."
Her words were the ultimate punishment. He sunk to his knees and clamped a hand
over his mouth to muffle his voice.
Suddenly her frame went very eerily quite. "I've never told anyone, but
everyday, I wanna die, Rin. Everyday I think about killing myself."
Oh god. He wanted to reach her, hold her, make it okay. But you have no damn
right, he screamed at himself. He'd been too far away, too disconnected, he
hadn't known, but it was a pitiful excuse, because he could have just guessed.
"I thought about it a lot, but I never did. You know why?"
Yeah, he knew why. Because of their mom, because of their friends, because the
implications that would arise if a good girl like Gou Matsuoka suddenly offed
herself.
But when she spoke again, the words she said were not what he expected. His
breath left him.
"Because I wanted to see you again."
It was a punch to the gut, a face slam into actual reality. All this time he'd
spent convincing himself that it was better this way, his choice was right,
there was nothing else they could do, and all the love of his life had ever
wanted was to see him again. He didn't deserve... No, she didn't deserve this.
"I've been a fool." He slammed a fist against the side of his head in anger, at
himself, at his choices.
"Yeah." Her voice was steady, calm as the sea on a moonless night.
"I should have come back home."
"Yeah."
"I should have been here. I should have never left."
"...Yeah."
"I should have told you sooner... that I love you, Gou."
A soft sob. "Yeah."
"I did it all wrong."
"Mmhmm." A loud sniff.
"I don't know if there's anything I can do to make it better..."
She sat up then, a weary sigh escaping her. She turned towards him, her eyes
were bright in the dark room. "I don't know either."
It was harsh, hard to hear, but true. He needed to be spoon fed a dose of
reality. He should thank her for smacking him out of his day dream and facing
him with reality.
"It's hard to see you, to be near you."
He knew it was true, no matter how painful it was to hear. His heart was being
wrenched out of his chest but he deserved it.
"It's hard, but it will be harder if you leave me again."
"I'm no-!" he began, ready to sprung up to his feet, but she raised a hand to
stop him, her eyes casting down and to the side.
"You can't leave me, but you can't be here. Do you understand?"
They couldn't be near each other; he knew it all too well. It was the harsh
truth of their situation. Being near her was like an electric zap of
stimulation straight to his groin, and she wasn't even in heat now. He couldn't
imagine-
"Will you text me? And call?"
He nodded fervently.
"Every day."
"I'll text you every day and call you every night, I swear."
She nodded slowly, tension leaving her body a little.
"Gou?"
She didn't look up at her name being called. From the light spilling in through
the door frame from the hallway, he could just barely see that her cheeks were
flushed. Her breathing was rough in the silence, and it was like she couldn't
catch her breath as she leaned heavily forward.
When it looked like she was about to topple over, he reached out and caught her
in his arms, just in time. Her eyes fluttered a little but she didn't open
them. Her skin was burning as he pulled her limp body to him.
"Gou?" he asked again, and she stirred restlessly in his arms, but didn't seem
responsive to him.
He was about to stand up with her, thinking she just had a fever, was just worn
out, when it hit him with its full force.
Gou was in heat.
Fear clenched at his insides as his control started to slip away from him. With
his last string of sanity, he screamed out for their mother before his lips
sunk to Gou's neck, teeth barred, ready to bite, to claim.
Chapter End Notes
     "You get a cliff hanger, you get a cliff hanger, EVERYONE GETS A
     CLIFF HANGER!"
***** Chapter Three *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Gou
All she could recall were the intense emotions she was struggling with and all
of a sudden she was hot, very hot, just trying to keep herself upright. Warm
arms catching her and holding her tight and that feeling of home again, hot
breath and tongue on her neck and then she was gone, her world slipping into
darkness.
When she woke again, she was alone. Her room was cold, her body still burning a
little hot, her heat lingering like a coiled snake beneath the surface as the
suppressants tried their best to keep it at bay. The rest of her memories
crashed back. She’d been talking to her brother, whom she hadn’t seen in such a
long time, and it had been good, a good talk, but she’d gone into heat, hadn’t
she? From her brother? It wasn’t close to the time her next cycle was supposed
to begin so it was the only logical explanation. After all, it always began
with him. It made her realize how dangerous it was to even be near him; her
whole body ached for him, for his touch, and when she refused to give it what
it craved, it broke down and pulled her into a heat. She couldn’t live without
her brother, with him far away, but they couldn’t be together. It was so
frustrating.
Where was Rin now? With a blind hand, she searched the bedside table for her
phone, fingers finally finding purchase after she was about to give up.
Her screen was bright and it took her eyes too long to adjust, so she squinted
at her screen.
There was a voice mail from Rin; her heart skipped a few beats.
His voice was a little frazzled when she put the phone to her ear, but the
sound of him inside her ear canal was like a little piece of Heaven.
“Gou. It was good to see you again. I’m sorry I made you wait, it was so stupid
of me.” A huff, a little angry at himself, frustrated at the situation. “You
went into heat and I almost-“ A pause, a shuffle. “Gou, I wanna be by your
side, but it’s dangerous. But I’m not leaving you alone again.”
His voice was soft with trepidation as he said, “Please call me again when you
feel up to it. I wanna hear your voice again.”
She lowered her phone and saved the voice mail. What was she going to do? The
rage of hormones inside her body was making her dizzy; just hearing his voice
was threatening to send her back into heat. And what had Rin ‘almost’ done? She
remembered his arms around her and his lips, his tongue. His teeth...
She reached a hand up and gingerly touched her neck. The skin was firm,
unbroken, but she could clearly recall the feel of his canines grazing harshly
against her neck. He was right; it was dangerous.
x
“Gou-chan, are you okay?”
Makoto was staring down at her, concern clouding his peridot irises.
It was Monday, two days after the birthday dinner with Rin, and Gou was still
lingering in the effects of her heat; every time she thought of Rin, his voice,
his smell, she felt her body responding, her Omega urges crying out.
She stared back at Makoto, trying to figure out how to answer. If she lied,
he’d see right through her. But she couldn’t say the truth either. That her
hormones were running amuck because of her older brother.
So she changed the subject and asked, “Do you have a partner yet, Makoto?”
Makoto’s eyes widened and his blush spread like wildfire across his cheeks, all
the way to his ears. “A p-partner?” he stuttered.
“Yeah. Like a boyfriend or girlfriend. An alpha,” she said nonplussed, shooting
a glance towards Haru, who was in his own little world, devouring his mackerel
lunch as they sat sunbathing on the roof.
“N-no,” Makoto murmured out in horror when he caught the direction of her gaze.
“I can’t-“ he began, his face flaming red.
“At least it’s within the realm of possibility for you,” she mumbled, a little
too spiteful.
“Yeah,” was all Makoto replied back, but his mind was in a different place,
eyes locked on the black haired boy in front of them.
“Haru,” Gou spoke next. She was feeling sick to her stomach watching Makoto
fawn over his crush and she knew it was irrational, that she was taking her
frustrations out on the wrong person (but then again, who was the right
person?), but she couldn’t help it. She was bitter and emotionally compromised
about her situation with Rin. She had yet to call him, only sending a quick
text to say she was okay (as much as she could be okay). She shouldn’t take any
of this out on her friends, but her control on her actions was slipping as she
felt herself drowning in desperation. She just wanted to be touched, be
caresses and cooed over by an Alpha, maybe even any Alpha. She couldn’t live
her whole life pinning for her brother, even though biologically she had no
choice but to do that very thing.
Haru’s blue eyes came up and met her gaze.
“Do you have a mate, Haru? Someone you like?”
Haruka’s response was so typical. He didn’t even notice Makoto begin to steam
like a train engine as he responded back, indifferent, “No.”
Makoto looked on the verge of tears, but Gou couldn’t care less. Something in
her was breaking and she could no longer pretend. Her heart had been taken from
her body a long time ago, flown away against her will to reside with her
brother, and now she was tired of pretending to still have one. She just
wanted- needed- physical contact, with someone who could love her, or at least
pretend a little.
“What about me?”
Gou could swear Makoto’s eyes went wider than a deer caught in headlights. His
head snapped around to her and he was gaping, on the verge of tears. She felt
guilty the moment the word left her mouth. She was being so cruel, but at least
she was feeling something as she glanced over to the tall boy beside her in
pity. Was Makoto going to fight her for Haru? She wished he would. Are you
gonna just sit silently, Makoto?
Haru’s eyes just stared into Gou. His face revealed nothing of what he was
thinking, silence blanketing them for what seemed like ages. After almost ten
minutes, Makoto finally broke it.
His voice was desperate, you could tell he wanted to cry. “Haru,” he begged
meekly.
There were another few beats of silence, and finally Haru spoke. “Sorry, Gou. I
see you as a friend,” and Gou thought Makoto would fall off the bench in
relief.
“Yeah,” was all she responded. She’d known the answer; she wasn’t disappointed,
just frustrated again. “I’m sorry.” It was directed at both Haru and Makoto.
Haru nodded only once in response before returning back to his fish bento, but
Makoto, after recovering from the shock of it all, took Gou’s hand in his and
leaned down to look her in the eye again.
His voice was hesitant, because it was one of the taboo topics with her, but
his worry won over and he asked her, “Do you want a boyfriend, Gou-chan?”
Yeah, she thought morosely, a boyfriend named Rin Matsuoka.
She nodded, shutting her eyes to push the thought away. She was so tired of her
brain trying to remind her at every turn of what she couldn’t have. “Yeah, a
boyfriend would be nice.”
“Okay,” Makoto responded softly as he rubbed a soothing thumb over her hand.
Then there was silence again as the trio finished their lunches, but it wasn’t
awkward or heavy silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts, or trying
not to think at all, in Gou’s case.
Rin
Gou had texted him once since Saturday, but he couldn’t blame her. When they
were growing up, it was Rin who knew Gou best of all, and he liked to pretend
that this was still the case, that she was still the same Gou, however much the
reality of actually seeing her defied that. But somewhere deep inside, his
young sister Gou was still in there, buried under regrets and frustration and
sadness; small Gou would need time to process, time alone.
Rin’s fingers ached to text her, call her, make sure she was alive, but he knew
this would only drive her further away, that she needed time, so he just wrote
long letters in his Notes app, adding to a running list of things he wanted to
say to his sister, wanted her to know. Every new entry began with, “Gou, I love
you.”
That’s why, when his phone chirped as he held it, in tears over what he was
madly typing into his Notes app, he almost threw his phone across the room in
shock.
It was from Gou, and his heart lit up like a million watt Christmas tree. But
then his fuse box short circuited when he read the text.
I have a boyfriend. I’m sorry, Rin.
He knew exactly what this was as tears blurred his view of the letters on his
phone screen; she was just trying to escape, to feel some happiness. Gou
deserved the world and he could neither give it to her nor be the one to deny
it to her so, as much as it pained him to write, he responded back with a,
“Please be happy with him.”
He ground his teeth because it was physically painful to write, gut-wrenching
to send, and all he wanted to scream was, You belong with me, Gou! I’m the only
one who can make you happy! Please be happy with me!
Thank you, Onii-chan. I’ll try.
He sobbed into his pillow for hours after that. He couldn’t say anything. When
all he wanted in the world was to tell Gou she belonged only to him, to grab
her up in his arms, carry her off to a place where no one knew them, to marry
the crap out of her. But it wasn’t his lot in life. His lot was to fight his
Alpha instincts all his days, to try to ignore the Soulmate bond with his
sibling. So he cried; no one in the world could comfort him.
x
It was Sousuke who found him like that, several hours later, coming to ask him
for a late night jog.
“Rin.” Sousuke’s voice was loud and didn’t give two shits about the mood Rin
was in. “Get up, we’re going running,” he told the frame huddled around a
pillow.
“Sou, not right no-“
But Sousuke wasn’t about to hear any of that, as he grabbed at Rin’s arm and
yanked him off the bed. The red head toppled into the taller man’s arms, which
held him strong and fast until Rin could find his footing.
Rin’s Alpha state weakened, sanity flown out the window with Gou’s last text,
he let his instincts lead him.
Arms wrapped up around the other Alpha’s thick neck and he yanked the taller
man down until their lips connected, teeth clashing, as Rin devoured Sousuke.
It took Sousuke a moment to recover from the shock of his best friend attacking
him out of nowhere, now grinding his crotch against Sousuke’s beefy thigh, but
when he did, he didn’t push Rin away and now Rin was the shocked one. As
Sousuke gripped tightly around Rin’s midsection, pulled him in tight and close
to almost breaking in half, his Alpha pheromones spreading wild and crazy to
encapsulate Rin. His lips were like fire on Rin’s as he deepened the kiss with
fervency, sucking at Rin’s lips, biting, tongue exploring.
Rin was in his rut, cock straining against the fabric of his jeans as he rubbed
himself hard against the other male, and Sousuke seemed okay with that, to
Rin’s shock and slight horror.
When they finally pulled back, Rin exhausted from the onslaught of Sousuke’s
pheromones on him, Sousuke gasped out, “Rin, I didn’t know you-“
Didn’t know I liked you like that? Rin finished Sousuke’s thought for him in
his head. It was because he didn’t, but he didn’t tell Sousuke that.
It was not that kissing Sousuke felt unpleasant, but there was nothing behind
it, not for Rin, who was just using Sousuke; he could tell Sou felt very
differently, though. How long had the dark haired boy harbored these feelings
for him? But as Rin’s lips tingled, he felt all his fight leave him. Finally he
didn’t have to be the strong one anymore. He willingly gave up his top dog
Alpha nature, submitting to Sousuke’s overpowering one. It felt good to not
have to think, to fight, so he gave in and let Sousuke claim his lips again,
hand raking over his erection, his mind going grey.
Gou would always be there, lingering in his heart and at the back of his mind,
but he was gonna try to make the best of this option that had been thrust into
his lap. It seemed like maybe his lemonade was just to make Sousuke happy.
Chapter End Notes
     It's funny because I actually ship Haru with Rin and Makoto with
     Sousuke BUT THAT WASN'T GONNA HAPPEN OH WELL.
     So this is for my friends who ship HaruxMako and SouRin. <3
     I hope you guys are still enjoying it! Please leave feedback if you
     have any and kudos are always appreciated to let me know I'm not
     alone in my sin -sob-
***** Chapter Four *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Gou
Months passed, and then years. Rin and Sousuke graduated from high school and
Sousuke followed his Alpha partner everywhere as Rin chased mindlessly after
his goals as an Olympic swimmer. His name was a household name now; no one
could escape it.
Not even Gou.
Everything she had been trying to build was crumbling down around her with each
mention of her brother on the TV, from her family and friends, and she didn't
have the power to stop it.
Her fiancé, a man Makoto had introduced to her as a childhood friend, was
especially enraptured by Rin's career and wildly growing fame. He watched every
match religiously, would pull Gou to the couch and make her watch too, cheering
wildly and kissing her when Rin inevitably won. Gou would kiss him back and
smile like she was excited to be here, watching the love of her life on TV
while a mere replacement sat next to her, bouncing all over the place.
Kisumi Shigino was a good man, a good Beta. He treated her well, was sweet to
her, and lavished her with gifts and kisses. She felt nothing but guilt as she
pretended to love him back, pretended to be excited with him. She didn't hate
him; she'd grown very fond of the pink haired man over the years, but it wasn't
love, nothing like what she still kindled for Rin. But they had both chosen
this life, to be loved by other people, so she kept silent and buried her
feelings.
She hadn't gone to Rin's high school graduation and Rin hadn't been at hers.
They'd found excuses when friends invited them to surprise birthdays for the
other. She didn't go to any of Rin's matches when he was in town.
He texted her once in a while, because that was just who he was, and she would
respond, because she craved the contact, no matter how much it hurt. He would
message her when he won, when he adopted a puppy with a photo of the corgi
attached, when he visited their mom. She would respond with short messages,
"Congratulations!", "Isn't she adorable?", "She looks happy, thank you."
They never spoke of their partners, of their feelings. It would be cruel.
She thought she could live her life like this, be fine, maybe even have
children with Kisumi and form some sort of family. She thought she could.
"Gou!" the purple eyed fan boy screamed as he barreled into the kitchen of the
house they shared one day. His eyes and mouth were wide as he jumped on the
balls of his feet, bouncing around her. "Guess what, guess what?"
She let out a weary sigh, more from the long day she'd had and less from
frustration of Kisumi's hyper active nature. She'd grown used to that.
She gave him a small smile as she stirred some rice.
"You remember my co-worker that I told you about the other day?"
"The one who was going to the Olympics in Tokyo and you were so jealous of?"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh!"
"What about him?" she asked after a beat when she recognized that he wanted her
to ask.
"His daughter is possibly having her baby that weekend and his wife told him he
couldn't travel away! So guess who's got two tickets for the Olympics and is
taking his special lady there?!" Two thumbs to Kisumi's chest as he whooped and
hollered.
A dull ringing began in Gou's ears as all the blood drained from her face, but
Kisumi didn't see how she was trying to hold back her tears as he swooped her
up in a hug, her quivering chin pressed into his shoulder as he spun them
around.
Rin was racing at the Olympics. It was the only event Kisumi cared about. And
she would have to go and smile and be happy; she would have to see her brother
with her fiancé by her side. She couldn't say no, not without raising so many
questions; there were no good excuses.
Her carefully built world crumbled around her.
Rin
The envelope sat on their kitchen table, the top torn open. Sousuke had opened
and read it, leaving it out for Rin to find.
It was an invitation to Gou's wedding in four months.
Her name and that of her fiancé, Kisumi, were emblazoned across the top in
gold, scrawling print. The invitation was beautiful, but it made him want to
cry. He was glad Sousuke wasn't at home in that moment, because he wouldn't
have been able to paste on a smile for the taller Alpha, who was probably so
excited for his childhood friend and partner's sister to tie the knot.
He rubbed a hand across his unmarked neck, silent tears rolling as he chewed at
his lip with sharp teeth.
It was all for the best, all for the best, he repeated like a mantra inside his
mind as he stuffed the invite back into its pretty white envelope.
They had both made this silent choice. Rin gave a shuddering sigh as he
realized that his long awaited match in the Tokyo summer Olympics was rapidly
approaching, and after that, he was out of time and excuses. He rubbed at the
scent gland on the back of his neck. Sousuke had asked only once, and Rin had
told him, "After I win gold at the Olympics. After I win, you can Claim me."
It was just cruel irony that Gou was also choosing now to permanently tie her
to someone else. The hopes he kept deep inside, that maybe one day - they were
cruel and foolish. Why did he fight their chosen paths for so long? Why did he
deny Sousuke his right as his Alpha to Claim him as his own? Why did he fight
it? For what? A 0 in 100 chance that their luck would change, that they'd wake
up one day not siblings, just two people who could love freely?
Maybe he should just let Sousuke do it now, let him stake his Claim on the
smaller red head, just get it over with, because fighting it was pointless.
It was pointless, but far too painful to give up.
"Rin?" came Sousuke’s voice, soft, and Rin hadn't even heard the man enter
their apartment, so lost in thought he'd been.
Arms circled around his waist and a small kiss feathered against his worrying
hand on his neck. Rin unconsciously clenched his hand tighter over his scent
pouch, before realizing his mistake and dropping his hands to rest limply by
his side.
"Gou's getting married," Sousuke said, a smile in his voice, after noticing the
invitation that had been moved and viewed by Rin.
Rin said nothing, didn't trust his voice to speak without betraying his rampant
emotions. He was glad Sousuke was behind him and couldn't see the tear tracks
on his cheeks.
"I'm so happy for her," he continued as he nuzzled into Rin's neck.
It was too much. Rin nodded stiffly and pushed out of Sousuke's arms, hands
coming up to hide his face and his hideous expression as he turned away from
his boyfriend.
"Rin?" Sousuke's voice and eyes followed the man and Rin tried to keep the
distress out of his scent as he escaped into their bedroom. Sousuke was not
fooled, he knew. He just prayed he could come up with a good excuse about a
hard training session or nerves about his Olympics match to ease Sousuke's
suspicions. He wasn't sure how long he could keep lying like this to his best
friend.
x
The din of the crowd around the Olympic size pool was monstrously loud. Cheers
resounded for swimmers as flags of all different countries waved in the stands,
held up by the arms of adoring fans. Rin never paid any attention, because
there was only one person he would ever care to see in the stands, and she was
never going to be there.
His stretch out routine was the same as always as Sousuke and his couch helped
relax and prepare his muscles for the long race ahead. The scents around him
were strong as Alphas exuded their victory pheromones, Omegas scenting as they
swooned over their favorite swimmers. There were Betas in the crowd too, as
well as a few among the competing swimmers, their scents neutral and calming.
Rin blocked it all out as he stood and took a long drag of his water bottle,
Sousuke patting him on the back, leaning in to his ear to whisper
encouragements. Not that Rin needed it; he was in the zone, on fire, ready to
race.
That was, until one particularly distressing scent wafted through the air and
tickled at his receptors. The scent was so strong, almost overpowering all the
other thousands of scents. His head snapped around and he felt a pop in his
spine.
It couldn't be.
His eyes scanned the crowd with desperation, but it was hard to scan over each
face in a sea of so many. Everyone was screaming and girls were mock fainting
as his eyes raked over them, but he moved on quickly, looking for a familiar
pair of red irises.
Without knowing it, he was sending out his own scent, like some kind of smoke
signal. He could feel the gaze on him, a pair of teal eyes dark and brooding as
Rin exuded his mating call.
"Rin?" Sousuke's voice was calling, barely contained anger and Alpha male
ferocity lingering just below the surface. "Rin!"
But Rin couldn't hear, didn't hear, as his eyes locked onto first a purple
pair, wide and shocked, and then a red pair, gaze wavering.
He couldn't see her well because of the distance, but he could tell from her
scent that she was in major amounts of distress, was on the verge of tears, did
not want to be here. In the back of his mind, he realized Sousuke had a hand on
his shoulder, calling to him, but all of his senses and thoughts were on the
girl in the crowd: on Gou.
It had been so long since he'd caught her scent, since he'd seen her face,
however small it was now, so long since he felt his Alpha senses awaken. His
destined mate was in distress and he was taken right back to their childhood
home, to the moment in the bathtub when he'd smelled her as she'd awakened his
Alpha self. The need to protect, to comfort, to soothe rolled over him and he
was purring below his breath, no longer standing in the Olympic stadium with
thousands of fans screaming out his name, unaware of what was happening on the
tile floor below them. He took a blind step forward, as if he was, what, gonna
march into the stands and steal her away?
Sousuke's arm on his shoulder stopped him, though, his grip tight, nails
digging into the muscles of Rin's shoulder, and the pain of it brought him back
a little.
"Rin. You have a race." Sousuke's words were clipped, his scent angry and
attacking, battling something he couldn't smell himself but had put his mate in
a trance. He was trying to defend what was his, trying not to let it show to
anyone else, barely containing his anger.
Rin tore his eyes away from the red haired girl in the stands and was met with
dark teal ones as he looked up at his boyfriend. They said nothing, Sousuke's
lips pursed, as Rin stepped forward, snapping his goggles in place, and took
his spot on the swimmer's podium designated for him. He didn't know that
Sousuke's eyes darted up to the stands as soon as his back was turned, in
search of the person Rin had been staring at.
Rin placed a hand over his heart, making as if he was scratching an itch,
sending a silent signal to his sister, This is for you, before he took his
position and dove into the water as soon as the starting pistol went off.
Sousuke didn't miss it. His emotions were enflamed as he growled below his
breath at the threat looming above him in the stands.
x
"Rin Matsuoka takes gold, as many had predicted he would!" announcers chatted
excitedly over the TV. Their coach had turned it on when they'd entered the
designated locker room for the Japan swimmers.
Rin ignored them and Sousuke too, whose eyes followed him everywhere as if
locked on a target. Neither of them spoke, said anything of what had happened
before the race. Rin could feel the turmoil and anger rolling off Sousuke's
skin like waves.
At home, they ate in silence, neither in the mood for after parties or
celebratory dinner and drinks. The TV stayed off and the stillness was heavy,
weighted around them. Whatever Rin had imagined the night of his Olympic win
would look like, it was most certainly not this. He felt like he was a child
again, with that damn medal that had made him feel nothing, that had been
buried underneath the big tree. Except this time he was famous, a world
renowned swimmer, and he had achieved his goals, but it wasn’t enough, wasn’t
what he wanted anymore. He didn’t give a shit about winning gold medals
anymore; the only thing he truly wanted was the beautiful, small, red haired
girl that had stolen his heart so many years ago.
It wasn't until they were in the bedroom, Rin in the middle of dressing into
his pajamas, Sousuke laying in his boxers and white t-shirt atop their sheets,
that he spoke.
"Just say it." Rin was ready for the outlash of anger, knew he probably
deserved to get it from Sousuke. Rin had scented for another mate while his
Alpha boyfriend had stood behind him; it would be considered the same as
cheating in an Alpha’s book.
But when Sousuke spoke, his voice was calm, resigned, nothing like what he
would have expected from the tall male.
"Gou was there today, wasn't she?"
Rin froze at the words, too scared to even breath, waiting for Sousuke to
continue, fear rooting in his heart.
"Rin," Sousuke's voice was soft. "You're in love with Gou, aren't you?"
Rin shuddered as everything in his life fell apart at the seams. The cracks had
finally taken all the strain they could and the wall he'd built crumbled like
it was nothing but a paper house. A sob flew past his lips, unrestrained.
Sousuke shifted on the bed until he was sitting at the edge of the mattress,
feet planted wide apart on the floor beneath, leaning on elbows, hands folded,
eyes on Rin's back as he shook like a leaf in the wind. He should have known
this day would come: Sousuke wasn't stupid, Rin was a terrible liar, and his
facade had been slipping for years. The event today was just the icing on the
baked cake.
"How long?"
Rin couldn't answer, the words lodging in his throat as he shook his head.
"How long, Rin?" Sousuke asked again, this time more authority behind the
words. If Rin was Claimed, he would have had no choice but to answer, but even
unmarked as he was, he felt compelled to respond.
"Since I presented. Since the beginning." Always, always.
Silence, and then, "Why?"
Rin sobbed, hands coming up to furiously wipe away tears that fell without
stopping. What had it all been for? All the fighting, all the time apart? Had
he made another mistake again? Had they chosen wrong? But what was right?! he
screamed inwardly as he clawed at his cheeks. What did the world want from
him?!
He was falling apart and this time, no one was there to pick up his pieces and
try to reassemble them. First he had lost Gou and now he would loose Sousuke.
"She's my Soulmate, Sou, I didn't choose this."
The words were heavy in the air. It was such a relief to finally say it aloud,
but the relief was swept away quickly by despair and destructive sadness.
"Neither of us asked for this," he whispered into the silence.
The bed creaked as Sousuke stood, and Rin thought, This is the end, Sousuke's
leaving me, but the footsteps didn't move towards the door, but closer to him.
Strong, warm arms wrapped around his trembling frame and Sousuke pulled him to
his chest, purring down at Rin to soothe him. "I'm sorry, Rin. I'm sorry," was
all he said and Rin was frozen, brain unable to process what was happening. Why
was Sousuke still here? Why was he holding Rin?
"I think I always knew that your heart wasn't fully with me, but it was easier
to pretend that we were good together. When you submitted yourself to me- I
haven't thought clearly since that day." Sousuke caressed a cheek against Rin's
hair. "You've been suffering all this time and I've been living in blissful
ignorance."
Rin didn't know what to say. Was Sousuke accepting his words just like that,
with no anger, no will to fight?
"You never belonged to me. I wish I had seen it sooner. You and Gou-"
"But it's not right!" Rin screamed, fingernails digging into Sousuke's forearms
as they held his body fast. "We can't ever be, so wasn't this life I chose
better?! I tried to love you, Sousuke!"
He turned harshly in Sou's arms and pounded against his hard chest. "I wanted
to make it with you and just forget and be happy. I wanted to make you happy, I
wanted to try to fall in love with you! I loved you, Sousuke!"
He was screaming now, frantic, nonsensical, fists pounding wildly against the
taller man's frame as he just stood and took it all.
"I loved you, Sousuke," Rin sobbed as he finally quieted down.
The dark haired man was combing fingers through Rin's hair and gently pulled
his head to rest against his chest. "But you could never love me like you love
Gou."
"I'm sorry, Sousuke." He was tired, fight draining out of him quickly, and he
just wanted someone to tell him it was okay, that his feelings were all right,
that he was allowed to love the person his heart yearned for. So he let Sousuke
shush his meek apology and keep talking.
"No one can win over a Soulmate bond, certainly not me. I don't know if it's
right, but you have to be with her. You can't live your life like this, Rin."
Rin's hands wrapped into Sousuke's shirt and he held tight to the man. "I love
her, Sou," he cried, chest heaving with sobs as he finally said it. "I love her
so much."
"Yeah." In that word were so many emotions: loss and sadness, defeat,
resignation. But mostly acceptance. "I really loved you, Rin, I think I'll
always love you, but I have the luxury of choosing someone else. You never had
that."
Rin nodded, burying his face deep into the crook of Sousuke's neck.
"But what do I do now?"
Chapter End Notes
     Bless Sousuke for being The Coolest Dude(tm). SOMEONE GET THAT MAN A
     MATE
     Smut is coming up so buckle your seatbelts! I hope you guys are still
     enjoying all this angsty writing -sweats-
***** Chapter Five *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Gou
Gou's life had become a wreck since that day at the Olympics. She had smelled
Rin, her and Kisumi both. She’d seen him, felt his eyes on hers, seen his hand
over his chest, watched him proudly accept his gold medal, eyes searching for
her again, but she'd ducked away, throwing out some excuse about needing to use
the bathroom to Kisumi, who was not fooled.
It had hit her so hard; repressed and buried feelings surfaced as her heat had
sprung up on her. She had locked herself in their bedroom the first day, Kisumi
pounding on the door, begging her to take her heat supression shot and meds,
crying because he could do nothing as she let herself suffer through her heat.
It raged like a fire through her body and she lost herself in it, wanting to
suffer, because suffering meant no longer living in denial, no longer accepting
another man to calm her needs, no longer fighting. Her heat was just her, one
step closer to Rin. She swore, in delirium, that she could smell him on her
skin, could feel his hands touching her, his voice whispering in her ear, so
she let herself sink into the welcome delusion as her body dragged her down.
x
On the second day, Kisumi was threatening to break down the door if she refused
to at least eat something, so she unlocked the door for him before stumbling
back into bed. Even for a Beta, she was sure her scent was overpowering to him.
Her skin was soaked as she sweat through the fever she couldn't break.
"Gou!" She could tell Kisumi had been crying. She'd mostly been able to block
out his angry voice, but his crying had wrenched at a small part of her heart.
But what could she do? She wasn't the one to soothe him; she definitely could
do nothing to make him feel better.
Kisumi set down a platter of rice porridge and forced her to eat. He sat behind
her as she lay against his body, shivering and weak, and he fed her until she
could eat no more. He tucked her back in then, gave her a kiss on her temple,
and whispered, "Goodbye, Gou. I love you. Please be happy."
Tears streamed unbidden, but her heart was so shredded that she felt no pain as
Kisumi left her. She couldn't even tell him that she hoped he would find his
happiness soon, with someone else, that she was sorry for stringing him along
so long, for using him.
x
On the third day, Gou reached for her cell phone, her mind a haze, eyes bleary.
The line rang, once, twice, three times, and then a soft click. "Gou," he
breathed out, as if he'd been holding the air in his lungs for the past 9
years.
"Rin," she shuddered out. In the fog of her heat, his voice was enough to send
her nearly to orgasm. "He left me."
Rin took the words in silence, waiting for her to say it, to say the words he'd
been waiting all his life to hear.
"Rin, I can't do this anymore. I need you."
"Where are you?" he asked in a rush, probably already pulling on shoes,
grabbing his wallet, out the door before she could respond. "I'll be there
soon. I'm coming, hold on, Gou."
And she wept, because finally she could relent and let the love of her life
come in to sweep her away, to make it all better, to love her recklessly and
with abandon. They didn't hang up until he was at her door, just listening to
each other breathe like they used to do when they were kids.
Rin
The apartment was small and dark. It had taken him far too long to get here,
riding several trains and finally a taxi to her front door. He never hung up,
never let up as he pressed his phone against the shell of his ear. Her
breathing was ragged and heavy and he listened to it like he'd never heard
anything so beautiful before.
He wouldn't hold back anymore, wouldn't stop, wouldn't try to alter fate.
Whatever would come in the future, he was going to do it standing proudly by
Gou's side. Looking back now, this had always been the inevitable conclusion to
their love story. He wished he had realized it sooner, hadn't wasted all those
years and dragged so many others into it, hadn't left her to suffer. He
shouldn't have let her suffer for even one moment; he had betrayed his Soulmate
from the moment he'd pushed her away in the tub, and every instance since then,
but he would do it no more. He would love her endlessly and try to make up for
it all.
He could smell her scent before she even opened the door. It smelled like how
she'd smelled during their childhood, when he'd presented, but much, much
stronger, thick and heavy and pressing against the back of his eyes as it
burned its way into his brain.
She was wrapped in a blanket, shivering, looking small and weak and he stepped
forward without a hint of hesitation and swept her into his aching arms. She
wrapped her own around his neck as they took deep, gulping breaths of each
other's scents, of the pheromones that raged. His body responded violently to
her, heat pooling to his groin.
He walked her back to her bedroom, steps quick, almost running, his grip tight
on her body as they landed on the mattress together. She unwrapped herself like
a butterfly from her fleece cocoon and encased him in there with her. She was
like a furnace with how hot her body was burning, and he breathed out her name
before engulfing her lips with his own.
It was like they'd lived in a draught all these years, and now they were
getting their first taste of water. They inhaled each other, lips pressed
together in urgency, teeth biting and tongues intertwining together as they
kissed each other, no holds barred.
"Rin, Rin," she was panting out his name, and it was beautiful to hear. From
someone who had always called him 'Onii-chan', to hear his name come from her
lips... To her now, he was just a man. A man she desperately loved and needed.
There were no familial bonds to tie them, to restrain them and keep them away
from the other. He was just Rin and she was just Gou, last name be damned.
"Gou," he groaned as she nibbled at his lower lip, sucking in into her mouth to
lick. Her fingers ran down his chest and touched bare skin under his shirt.
Electricity shot through him at the touch of her soft fingertips on his skin
and he was growing painfully tight in his pants. She began undressing him
quickly, so he did the same to her. Their lips only broke apart to lift shirts
over heads and offer instructions as pants and underwear were removed.
When they were completely naked, she fell against his body, on top of him, and
he could feel how hot she was burning, her skin clammy against his own moist
epidermis. She fit so beautifully against him, and it was like finally he was
whole. He wrapped tight arms around her and held her close, hot breath hitting
against the top of her skull.
"Gou," he moaned, and he felt like he might cry with the wonder of this moment.
But she wasn't ready to linger and let him enjoy it for too long. Soon she was
pushing up against his chest, grinding herself against his erection.
"Please, Rin," her voice was heavy with desire, the effects of her heat and a
long overdue need to be filled, joined with her mate. She was crooning down at
him, an Omega begging to be filled and fulfilled by her Alpha.
Alpha instincts burned and he was ready to give her anything she would ask for;
he grabbed at his hard shaft and pressed the head of it against her opening.
She was so wet, slick dripping down between her thighs and onto him, moistening
his cock for entry. She mewled at the pressure of the tip of his cock against
her starved entrance, and he grabbed at her hips to pull her down onto his
erection.
Her spine arched back, toes curling as they came together. Finally, finally,
they were seemingly saying as their voices moaned out together in unison.
He watched her with enraptured eyes as she sank down on his full length,
completely swallowing him up inside her. Rin had never felt this way before: he
was complete, he was ecstatic, he was home.
"Gou," he purred up at her, and finally her eyes opened and she looked at him.
He shuddered at the needy, hooded eye look she gave him. Her eyes were clouded
over with desire and her forehead was wet with her sweat. And he wanted to
taste it.
He sat up, holding her hips to him, and she put her arms around his neck once
again, placing palms flat against the muscle of his back, as they leaned in
towards each other. She was crying again, but for the first time, they were
tears of joy, and he lapped them up, soothing her red and swollen cheeks,
licking his tongue up to her forehead. She tasted so good, and he moaned
against her as she arched her back forward to fit against him, snug.
"Can you move?" he asked her cautiously, and she nodded.
He began to guide her hips, slowly rolling them, as his cock thrust in and out.
The pace sped up very quickly; they craved each other, wanted more, deeper and
harder. They set a furious pace and soon Rin was breathing heavy into Gou's
neck as he lapped more at her salty skin, her mewling as he penetrated her
deepest parts over and over again. But still she begged for more. Her scent was
so thick now, wrapping around them both, filling every part of his body with
her, and his own scent gland was responding by dousing his mate in his musk,
the base of his cock swelling, ready to knot.
At some point, he flipped her over, onto her hands and knees as he leaned over
her, thrusting harder and deeper still, biting at her back and leaving love
marks everywhere along her spine, savoring her flavor. Everything was so
beautiful in the moment and as he felt himself edging towards orgasm, his knot
widening inside her until he could barely pull out, he lay his chest flush
against her back, parting the hair at the nape of her neck with his nose, teeth
aching to sink into the soft flesh at the back of her neck.
Realizing what he was after, she bent her head down, exposing her scent gland
for him, and in a soft, needy voice, she begged him to Claim her.
There was no turning back now as he gave another violent thrust before sinking
sharp teeth into her skin. She cried out as he pierced the skin, bucking up
against him, and he returned it with more deep rolls of his hips as he came
inside her in buckets.
Gou shook, her whole body trembling as she accepted his cum and his bite, and
she orgasmed with him. Her voice was so beautiful as she moaned and gasped out.
With one last shudder, he finished completely inside her and slowly pulled out
as his knot shrunk down, its job completed. He sank back onto his butt and
pulled his love into his lap, wrapping steady arms around her slight frame. She
felt so thin, almost like how their mother had felt on Gou’s seventeenth
birthday, and he felt so much regret again at what he'd put her through. But
there were no words big enough for the apology he owed her, so instead Rin just
crooned and purred into her ear, rubbing his cheek against her damp one.
She reached up with trembling hands and fingered the nape of his neck, the spot
where his own scent gland resided, and she spoke his name lovingly. It rang
beautifully in his ear, her voice soft and soothing and he wanted to hear her
say so many things, for all the words he'd missed hearing.
She was tapping at the base of his neck, asking for permission, and he obliged
happily, a thrill running through his entire body as he leaned his head down to
expose his neck to her. In response to her mate offering up his weakest spot,
sharp teeth descended down into her mouth and she sunk her new canines into his
flesh.
There was a split second of sharp pain, and he almost cried out, but then it
was gone and warmth was flooding through him as she Claimed him, retracting her
teeth after a moment so she could lap soothingly at his broken skin with her
tongue. When she was done, he sat back up again and two pairs of red eyes
locked on each other.
"Now you're mine," he murmured softly.
"And you're mine," she responded back.
He could have stared at her like that for hours, letting the realization sink
in that they belonged to each other now. No one could separate the two; they'd
willingly chosen the other as their mate, their partner for life. Nothing was
more beautiful than Gou and this moment.
"I love you so much, Gou."
"Yeah," she whispered as they leaned towards each other for a soft kiss.
"I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm sorry for a lot of things." He swallowed
past the lump forming in his throat.
"It doesn't matter any more now." She caressed his cheek gently, lovingly. "Now
we've got our whole lives ahead of us."
He nodded, tears welling up, and she just smiled at him, sighing contentedly.
"I'll love you forever, Rin."
Chapter End Notes
     The moment we were all waiting for finally arrived! I really enjoyed
     writing this chapter after all the angst of the other ones. I hope
     you guys enjoyed it as well! ;)
***** Chapter Six & Epilogue *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry this took me a bit longer to get out. I had a hard time sitting
     down to write Rin’s last perspective and the epilogue. Please forgive
     me for how I ended this story - I just want them to be happy /sob
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Gou
There was nothing more beautiful in life than waking up in the arms of your
lover, your Claimed mate, and getting a peek at their face while they still
slept. Rin’s features were so relaxed; she couldn’t remember a time when she
had ever seen him like that. His face was beautiful; now that she could look at
him, stare without having to drag her eyes away, she examined everything about
him. His red hair lay splayed out on the pillow below him, hers curled in a
little with some of his longer locks, and a few tufts hung across his cheeks
and eyes. She gently brushed them aside and marveled at how soft and warm his
skin was, bathed in the light peeking through her curtains.
It was also the first time that she’d ever woken up and not felt instantly
crippled by sadness. There was no regret as she gazed up at her handsome mate’s
face. Sure, they had a lot to figure out and would need to decide how to move
forward, but she didn’t regret anything that had happened last night. She
softly reached a hand behind Rin’s neck and caressed at the tender skin around
the bite mark she’d given him, feeling her own throb dimly at the nape of her
neck.
He stirred slowly as her fingers smoothed over his skin, eyes opening drowsily.
His eyes were the most beautiful shade of red; she wasn’t sure if she’d ever
seen them this closely and really looked. His eyes were a lighter shade than
hers, more pink tones, but so pretty.
He blinked twice as his eyes adjusted to the light and focused, a smile
blooming on his face, reaching his eyes, when he saw her in his arms.
“Gou,” he whispered to her in lieu of a ‘good morning’.
“Hi,” she replied. “Good morning, Rin.”
“Mm, I love hearing you call my name,” he mumbled, still half asleep as he
buried his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. “Oh,” he
startled.
“Hmm?” she asked, pulling back, but he was smiling still.
“Your scent is different now. You smell a little like me.” He beamed down at
her like he’d never been more proud. She knew it wasn’t just his pride as an
Alpha swelling, but also his deep love for the girl in his arms.
She leaned up and dig her nose into his chest, taking a big whiff. It was true.
There was a hint of strawberries added to his usual scent. He still smelled
good, but somehow it was even better mixed with hers.
“No one can deny that we belong to each other now,” he murmured to her, once
again burying his face into her neck and giving soft kisses to the skin. She
wiggled and pushed up against him. His lips felt so good against her skin, so
right, his hot breath lavishing over her skin. She nuzzled into his hair and
felt its softness against her cheek.
“Now we’ll never be separated again,” she whispered, tears stinging behind her
lids.
He wrapped her tight in his strong arms and pulled her small frame to his broad
chest. They were still naked from last night and they fit together like two
puzzle pieces. His heat crept into her skin and she wished she never had to
leave his embrace. It was different though, because now even if she momentarily
left his arms, he would still be right there to wrap her back up again. Always.
“I love you a lot, Gou,” his voice whispered, hitching. She soothed his back as
he tried to hold back tears. “And it’s not just because of our pre-destined
bond, but I really love you. As a woman, as way more than my sister. I think I
would have always chosen to love you.”
She knew what he meant. It was true that they had been magnetically drawn to
each other since they both presented, but even before that, their bond had been
strong, a friendship to rival that of other siblings. She had always loved him;
it had taken their Soulmate bond to make her realize in what way, though.
“I love you, Rin.”
Her neck grew wet as Rin could no longer hold back the tears, and they cried
together. Finally, finally, after all the heart ache and doubt and anger and
confusion, finally they had found their place and fulfilled their destinies. It
no longer mattered what anyone else might think; all that mattered now was that
they had each other for life. They lay wrapped up together for a long time,
just reveling in the feeling of together.
“It may take us some time, but I want to eventually tell everyone about us,”
Rin said after a long silence, pulling back a little so she could wipe at his
cheeks. “I’m done trying to hide what I feel for you; I want to tell the whole
world that you’re mine, that I love you.”
She nodded slowly, her mind flicking over all the people in their lives: their
friends, their ex-mates, their mother. That one would be the hardest, but they
owed it to Miyako to explain the past decade of their lives - why they’d caused
her so much grief and worry.
“It’s not really like we can hide it anyways,” she told him, her eyes serious
as she gazed up at her beloved. There were not only the twin bite marks at each
other’s necks, but the fact that their scents were irreversibly intertwined.
“Yeah,” he answered, a shy grin growing wide on his face.
Rin reached a hand up and began to slowly caress Gou’s features. She closed her
eyes and reveled at the feel of his touch on her, her head resting atop his
arm. He laid chaste kisses against her eyelids and nose, along her forehead and
cheeks, taking his time as he loved all of her. His free arm lowered down and
snaked around her waist, soft thumb rubbing against the knobs of her spine and
in the dimples in her back, just above her butt. Every touch was kind and
gentle and filled with all the love he had for her.
“You’re so beautiful, Gou,” he whispered in between pecks. “So, so beautiful,
inside and out. I could never have asked for a better person than you to spend
my life with.”
She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Do you mean it?” she asked, voice
catching.
With a nod, he responded, “It was really hard; these last nine years have been
very rough, but lying here with you now, I can’t help but feel that no one else
would have made me feel this way, not like the way you make me feel.”
With a sad sigh, he lamented, however, “If I could go back in time, I would
change so many things.”
She leaned back into him, his hands rubbing all over her bare back as his voice
rumbled deep, resounding against her chest.
“I would have kissed you longer in the tub, would have explained it all to you.
I would have begged Mom to let me take you to Australia or stayed here with you
until you presented. I would have hugged you tight through your first heat and
soothed your fears. I would have cared less about what the world thought and
loved you like you should have been loved. I’d be there for your every birthday
and big moment, to celebrate with you and give you small kisses, hug you tight
when sad things happened to you. I would have you there by my side after high
school as I trained, and I would have swam every race for you, won you all the
gold medals. I would have kissed you everyday and told you I love you, would
have given you anything you desired, and said, ‘Fuck the world,’ as I made you
my mate on your 18th birthday and showed you off for everyone to see.”
By the end of it all, her feelings were so bittersweet, and she held him
tightly. It was true that their life had not gone anything like that, but
looking back, they had tried their best, and maybe a lot of things would have
been very different if any of the things Rin wished for had happened. But all
she cared about was that he was here with her now.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” she murmured to him as she wrapped a leg around
his long limbs. “It’s all in the past. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us to
make up for it all.”
“Yeah,” he whispered back as he pressed his body flush to hers, leaving no room
even for air between them, capturing her lips with his own.
x
A few weeks passed. Rin found them a small one-bedroom apartment to rent and
they moved their few belongings into their own space. Gou broke the contract
for the place she lived at with Kisumi and Rin sent his key back to Sousuke.
It was so refreshing and beautiful to wake up and spend everyday with Rin.
Cooking meals was more fun with him sitting on the counter, tasting her food
and giving her kisses, and their time together was peaceful. Most of it was
spent on the couch, cuddling as they watched a movie, or in bed.
x
They decided that Haru and Makoto would be the first to know. They sat across
from the pair, Haru’s expression only showing shock for a split second,
Makoto’s eyes growing wider and wider with each word. They were silent for a
long time after Rin finished explaining, his fingers threaded through Gou’s as
they sat and waited for their two friends to speak.
“This explains so much,” was all Haru said, finally breaking the silence.
Makoto looked so torn and confused and Gou thought of all the things she’d done
to him, the things she’d put him through with her silence. “I’m sorry, Makoto.
I was unkind and hard to deal with most of the time.”
“No-!” he began to interrupt, but she wasn’t done.
“I was cruel to you both, to all of my friends, keeping you in the dark and
telling you nothing as you watched over me all those years. I just want to
thank you for being my support and not leaving my side,” she hiccuped past a
sob and Rin squeezed her hand tight, tears brimming as he watched his love try
to contain herself.
“I wish you would have told us,” Makoto said after a moment. “I know how hard
it might have been, but we would have accepted you still. You are both so
precious to us.” Haru nodded in agreement, staring at Rin.
“You could have told us.” Haru’s voice was flat as always, but his eyes told
the two that he wasn’t mad. He just wanted to help, all along, that he cared.
“Thank you,” Rin told the two, tears falling now. “I hope you’ll still stand by
our sides and support us together.”
Haru and Makoto gave each other a glance and then turned back to nod at the
couple. Makoto beamed at two of his dearest friends, Haru just giving a nod of
solidarity.
Gou stood and rushed over to the two, pulling them together towards her as she
hugged them tight. “Thank you both so much. Your friendship and support means
the world to Rin and I.”
Makoto grabbed her back tight as she sobbed against their shoulders, Haru
giving ‘There, there’ pats to her back.
x
Nagisa and Rei’s went the smoothest of all, as the two simply shrugged, Rei
giving scientific explanations as to why it all couldn’t be helped, Nagisa just
happy to see Gou smiling back at him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so big!” he yelped as he hugged the
girl tight.
x
Sousuke, of course, already knew most of the story, but they travelled to greet
him and tell him the update on their relationship status. He smiled at them
both, just happy to see them happy, and Rin was finally able to breath, the
weight lifted off his chest.
“It’s your turn next,” he joked to the dark haired man as he held his arm
around Gou’s waist.
“I’m working on it,” Sousuke grinned, and Gou gave him a sweet smile. She had
missed the hulking giant.
x
Gou tried to call Kisumi several times, but she always reached his voicemail,
and after leaving a short message finally, asking if they could meet, could she
explain to him, he texted her back and told her, “It’s all right, you don’t
have to explain it to me. I’ve left Japan. Please be happy. I wish you all the
best in the world and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one to give it to you.”
His text had made her cry; she regretted dragging him along like that, this
sweet, kind man who had loved her well despite everything, who could not fault
her even now.
I’m sorry, she had texted back, but he never responded, and she never heard
from him again.
She wished him well.
Rin
Rin was shocked and very pleasantly surprised with how well everything had gone
so far, but he knew the hardest one was still to come.
He had called their mother a few days ago to ask if they could both come home,
maybe have dinner again, and she's almost cried at hearing him suggest it.
"Please come home, both of you! I miss seeing you!"
Rin felt terrible hearing her sobbing over the receiver. Miyako's life had not
been an easy one, and it wasn't about to get much better with their revelation.
He just prayed she would be happy for them, whether she accepted it or not.
Gou dressed in her best dress, and he donned a sharp button up shirt and tie.
It had been a month now, their relationship growing everyday as they learned
new things about each other, shared the memories of their pasts and their
dreams for the future.
One of Rin's favorite things about Gou was that she was still so shy when it
came to certain things.
"What do you think?" she asked as she padded in front of him in her outfit,
hands clutching at the strapless dress.
He took her nervous hands in his to reveal the entire dress and smiled. "You
look beautiful. You always do, but this dress on you is stunning."
It hugged her curves beautifully and showed off just the smallest amount of
cleavage. Gou blushed red as her hair at his compliment; she did this every
time, as if he didn't tell her every night how beautiful she was, showing her
with his body how he loved her.
He leaned down for a kiss. Her lips were soft and plush, just right, hot and
wet against his own as they pressed together. She tasted faintly of
strawberries and minty toothpaste.
She was still blushing when he pulled away from her, but now she gave a small
twirl in the dress and he beamed down at her.
"You look very handsome," she mumbled to him as she reached to straighten his
tie just a bit. "Always so handsome."
"Thanks, babe."
The pet names were a new thing too, something Rin really enjoyed. Gou still
mostly called him 'Rin', which was more than enough to raise his blood
pressure, a pet name in and of itself. But once in a great while she'd call him
darling, and that thrilled him like nothing else could.
x
The house looked the same as always. The last time he had been here was a few
months ago, with Sousuke. Now he stood at the front door with his true mate by
his side. He sent up a small prayer as he rang the doorbell.
Soft, muted footsteps sounded and the door was yanked open after a few moments.
Miyako's eyes lit up as she took in the sight of her two precious children,
standing together on her front step.
"Come in, come in, let me hug you!" she cooed. She pulled them to her as they
stepped in, Gou first, and then Rin, and Rin noted that she seemed a little
healthier than the last time he'd hugged her tight.
"Have you two been spending more time together these days? You two smell very
strongly of each other!" she commented as she flitted inside the house. Gou
froze a little, but Rin gave her hand a soft squeeze and pulled her forward,
behind their mother's back.
"Yes. We've been spending a lot more time together," was all Rin said in
response, but Miyako was just happy to hear it.
"Good!" she cried, clapping her hands as she led them to the dinning room.
"Take a seat, I just have to grab the last dish, and then we can eat."
"Mom, let me," Gou offered, but she shooed them off.
They took seats opposite each other, across the table they'd shared many
childhood meals at, and Rin gave Gou a reassuring look. She seemed so nervous,
her frame huddled up as if she was trying to make herself smaller, and he
rubbed a socked foot over her bare ones. When she looked up at him again, he
smiled and gave her a small nod.
It'll be all right.
They would do this together.
x
"Mom, sit down. We have to tell you something."
"Oh? Is this the reason you called me to have dinner, Rin?"
"Well, we both wanted to see you again, but yes," Gou told her in a soft voice
as the pair took a seat on the couch, their mother across from them in her
favorite arm chair. It had been their father's, and she looked small in the
tall chair, but she got comfortable and gave them her rapt attention.
They both took a moment to breathe, calm themselves, before Rin spoke up.
"Gou and I have caused you a lot of hardships over the years and never offered
any explanation for our behaviors. We're both very sorry for that, but there
was a reason."
Miyako simply nodded, waiting for Rin to continue.
"When I turned twelve, I presented as an Alpha when Gou and I were in the
bathtub, before I left for Australia. And then a few years later, Gou got her
first heat after talking to me on the phone. I knew right away, but-" A pause,
then, "Mom, Gou and I are Soulmates."
Miyako was silent for the longest time. Her hands were folded over her lap as
her eyes remained locked on them, her gaze strong but saying nothing. When she
finally spoke, her voice was soft and calm.
"I've known for a long time."
This shocked the two red heads into absolute silence, their eyes wide and
round.
"You don't think I could figure out what was going on with my own children?"
She seemed a little offended, but also very aware of why they were so shocked
at her reaction and words. "It took me a long time; it's so rare, after all,
Soulmates. And for it to happen between siblings... But when Gou got her first
heat, and when you two refused to see each other, when she went into heat when
you came over for her birthday- I didn't want to believe it was true, but I
accepted it a long time ago." She looked them both in the eye.
"I'm sorry we kept it from you for so long, both of us. We thought it would be
all right if we just lived separate lives, didn't see each other-"
"No one is meant to live that way," Miyako told them calmly.
Rin began to cry then, and Gou put a small hand on his back.
"I'm sorry, Mom, for a lot of things. I wish it hadn't been this way, for you,
but Rin and I love each other. We decided together that we couldn't fight this
our whole lives."
"I just want my two babies to be happy," Miyako said. Her eyes were tearing up
as she watched her son cry, her daughter angry at herself, sad. She stood and
kneeled before the two, taking one of each of their hands. "I wish I could have
helped you two, but I thought it best if you figured this out on your own."
Gou nodded, hand trembling in her mother's, and Rin just trying to stop his
tears. "Mom, we both love you so much. Thank you, thank you..."
Their mother's hands reached up and clasped at their necks, feeling the
telltale bumps of their bite marks. She sighed softly. "Some things can't be
helped."
She pulled them into a hug as they all cried together, and when they parted,
Miyako simply said, "Just make sure you use protection."
x
"That went..." Gou began when they were home, in their shared bedroom, getting
into their pjs.
"Shockingly well," he finished for her.
"I still feel terrible about it all. I don't know if I'm happy that she figured
it out and had time to accept us or sad that she lived knowing about us all
along."
Rin took Gou's hands in his as they snuggled under the covers together. "It all
turned out okay, though. We've done all we can to assure that everyone else is
all right. Now we just need to focus on each other." He tipped her chin up.
"Yeah?"
She nodded slowly. It was hard to push the guilt aside, but they had already
decided to go down this path together; in the end, the most important person to
Rin was Gou, and Rin to Gou.
"I love you," he mumbled to her as he captured her lips in his. "Now and
forever."
She leaned into his kiss, deepening it; Rin reveled in how she tasted, how soft
the inside of her mouth was, how warm her lips.
When she broke the kiss after a few minutes, she leaned back a little and
called his name in a breathy whisper.
"What is it, my love?"
"About what Mom said about protection-"
He sensed she was going somewhere, so he waited for her to finish. It was true
that, no matter how much he wanted to watch Gou bear his children, for them to
have a family together, he knew genetically it was not a smart thing to do.
Her next words shocked him into a stupor. She pulled his hands down and rested
his palms against her belly.
"It's already a little too late for that." Her eyes were big and round as she
looked up at him, fear dancing behind her irises as she waited for her words to
sink in and register, for his response.
"You're pregnant, Gou?" he gasped out.
She nodded and pressed his hands closer to her warm stomach.
"How long?" he asked, but he knew it had to be from their first night. He'd
knotted her, not even thinking, his rut dulling his rationality, just so happy
to finally be one with her. He should have-
As if Gou could sense his thoughts growing dark, she grabbed his face and
forced him to look her in the eyes. "We're gonna have a baby together,
darling."
Her words rushed over him and everything was forgotten, everything but her and
their unborn child.
"I'm so happy," he cried, tears streaming down.
He was so ecstatic.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------
Epilogue
"A shotgun wedding, huh?" Sousuke beamed at the couple. "Congrats, you two."
Gou was swollen everywhere, her belly especially as she had just entered her
third trimester. Rin told her everyday that she was beautiful, practically
glowing, but all she felt was very fat. But she was so happy; she endured the
pain and discomfort because she could tell how happy Rin was about it all. He
liked to call himself 'Daddy' as he spoke to her belly, to the baby, gave her
swollen stomach kisses and coos. She could also smell his excitedness, his
Alpha pheromones almost choking her sometimes with how strong they were. If
he'd been overprotective before, it was ridiculous now, but she put up with it
all when she saw him grinning from ear to ear.
"It'll be a small event," she told the tall man as she rubbed at her aching
belly. The baby moved a lot now and really loved to kick. Rin joked that their
child was taking after him.
"Do you know what you're having?" he asked Gou, but her fiancé was the one who
responded.
"We wanted it to be a surprise! Mom thinks it'll be a girl, but I really want a
boy."
Sousuke chuckled.
"The wedding will be in two weeks. We're just going down to the courthouse and
then we'll have dinner at our place," Rin explained to his best friend. "It's
not really necessary to have a bridal party, but Gou and I both wanted to have
you there, to support us as my best man."
Rin swallowed nervously as Sou's eyes went round.
"Best man?"
"Will you do me the honor?" Rin asked, very serious.
Sousuke nodded, his response quick and sure. "I'd be more than happy to!"
"You're allowed to bring a plus one to the reception," Gou added with a wink,
after Rin had broken down and grabbed the other man in a firm hug.
"Well," was Sou's only response, a small smile on his lips.
x
"The baby's here!" Rin screamed in joy as he burst through the swinging doors
into the hospital’s waiting area. All of their friends sat there: Haru and
Makoto, Nagisa and Rei, Sousuke, and of course, Miyako.
Nagisa was the first one out of his chair, followed by Miyako.
"Well?" Miyako asked.
"It's a girl," Rin told them all with happy tears in his eyes. "Gou's resting
now, but I can take you all to meet our little girl."
Every head nodded enthusiastically.
x
A small cry rung through the quiet room. Gou's eyes jerked open at it and she
had to figure out where she was.
The hospital. She'd just birthed her and Rin's child.
Her husband Rin lay on the small hospital bed with her, cuddled against her
side, his eyes watching her as she looked around to locate the source of the
cry that had woken her.
"She's just fussing in her sleep, the nurse said. I already asked," Rin assured
her.
Gou glanced over at the small roll cart bed, a small bundle inside, and sighed
softly.
"You did a great job."
Gou's eyes swiveled to rest on her mate's face. "How long was I asleep?"
"Its only been a few hours. You had a long labor; I wanted you to rest."
She nodded.
"Besides, I couldn't bear to wake you when you looked so cute sleeping in my
arms."
Gou blushed and punched playfully at Rin's bicep. Just that was enough to truly
tell her how physically exhausted she was. "Thanks," she mumbled, leaving her
hand to rest against his warm arm.
"Can I see her?"
He nodded and stood to retrieve their child; the bundle looked so small in his
arms. He told her where the button was to raise the head of the bed so she
could sit up, and after she was upright, he placed the warm child in her folded
arms.
A shock of red hair sat atop a round face, pretty pink lips puffed out. Gou
rubbed a gentle finger over soft, rounded cheeks as their daughter slept.
"She's beautiful, Rin."
Rin climbed back into the bed with her and put an arm behind her neck, another
around her waist, and they both stared down at the small human they had created
together. "Yeah. She looks like her mom," he whispered into the shell of Gou's
ears.
"Ah," was all Gou managed before Rin interrupted her.
"We need to pick out a name."
She nodded, her mind whirling.
"But for now, let's just enjoy this moment. Our beautiful family..." Gou could
hear that he was on the verge of tears; she didn't need to look up to see.
"I'm so happy, Gou, my love, my wife." He nuzzled his nose into her hair.
"Let's raise this little one and have lots more beautiful kids together."
Chapter End Notes
     If you got this far, thank you so much for sticking with me and
     reading it all! I hope you enjoyed it! I’d love to hear from you guys
     so we can all revel in our sinful love of RinGou. You better know I
     plan to write more of these two precious gems.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!