Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11891643.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Kuroshitsuji_|_Black_Butler, Kuroshitsuji_(2014)
  Relationship:
      SebaCiel, Sebastian_Michaelis/Ciel_Phantomhive, Sebastian_Michaelis_&
      Ciel_Phantomhive
  Character:
      Sebastian_Michaelis, Ciel_Phantomhive
  Additional Tags:
      Character_Study, Smut, Angst, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot,
      spillingashes
  Series:
      Part 7 of Sebastian_x_Ciel_Drabbles_&_One-Shots
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-08-24 Words: 3953
****** Lavish ******
by mikachan
Summary
     Tonight, however, he was calculating… mild. He was utterly focused on
     bringing me to the edge of sanity and back again. He wanted me to
     loose all composure… wanted me to remember that it no longer mattered
     that I had fundamentally committed suicide. It didn't matter anymore
     because whoever I was, I was first and foremost his. I didn't have to
     think about the fact that anything left of me was already dead… lost
     as ash into the heated, burning wind.
Notes
     chapter 130 made me do it
I loved him. Sometimes, he loved me too. It was on these rare occasions that I
would feel most at home in my skin. If I felt him drifting, it was as if my
skin would tear away from me until I was but bones in his arms. If he was not
near, I would ache with longing, eyes stinging with the poetry I would never
write. If he touched me with gloved fingers, I would lean into his touch,
bending as a bow in a storm. If he touched me bare-handedly, my roots would
crumble, and I would melt into him as if I were warming ice.
I may have been mad to love him so. I may have been completely insane; lost and
forgotten as a flurry of storm in summer. To love was a harsh sentiment. Love
was a word I had never planned to feel, especially not towards a certain
crimson-eyed creature with a fiendish glare and an infuriating smirk. To call
him a man would be to insult his character. He was more, and yet so much less.
Tonight was one of the rare times in which I believed myself to be loved.
Perhaps I confused lust for love, and love for lust, but I had never really
known the difference. All I knew is that it felt so good to be held by him...
to be fucked senseless until I couldn't breathe or see or feel anything else
but those ravaging hands and that soft, ghosted breath against my shoulder. A
strong, rough hand pushed between my shoulder blades, demanding that I relent
underneath them. I let my arms fail beneath me, my bare chest falling into the
white sheets that seemed as cold as shimmering snow. I imagined it was just as
soft and pliable... imagined how it would feel to be lost in frost and frozen
air.
Sebastian's other hand gripped at my left hip, pulling it fiercely up to drag
along his own. He ground his clothed cock against the swell of my ass, and I
circled my hips as if I were dancing the most secret of waltzes. He leaned
down, breathing nothingness into my ear, "it's alright, little one... my good
little slut," he murmured, "no one can hurt you like this anymore." Except for
you, I thought drunkenly, wanting nothing more than for him to tear me apart.
Limb from limb, sinew by sinew, I wanted him to wreck me until there was
nothing left to be devoured... nothing left to be desired.
I remembered the way the cultists used to maim me, the way their hands would
grope and prod at my skin. It was torture. It was almost worse to see my only
surviving family be hurt and abused in the same ways. Sebastian was much like
those men. He would degrade and punish me. Instead of anger and resentment,
acceptance and pride would bubble up into my eyes when he would demand me. I
wanted more of it. I wanted to rewrite those memories in my brain like rain
would wash away ink spilled on paper. I wanted him to chain me to him until I
couldn't remember anything but the safety of his abuse. He was nothing like
those men.
He did not love me in any way I could comprehend. He possessed me, body and
soul. It was a terrifying, hellish kind of feeling. I knew it could overwhelm
him, as it seeped from him as blackened blood and dropped onto my tongue in
sweet torrential damnation. His ownership was as thundering as a storm in
summer. It could flood the streets with its overwhelming ferocity. Love was a
purely human emotion, and it was one that I was not proud to bear. Though I
respected it for its uncontrolled honesty, I felt it put to shame at the weight
of his passion.
“Please,” I whispered hoarsely, voice stuck as a leaf swirling underwater, “I
need it.” He trapped my wrists behind me, pressed them into the small of my
back. “What do you need?” He asked sinisterly. “Your cock,” I murmured, “need
your cock… please.” I could feel his breath spreading out against my shoulder
blades, and it was as if it were a cool breeze dancing across the surface of a
still lake. I shuddered beneath him, struggling against his grasp, though I
truly did not want to be freed. “You’re going to have to be more specific,
darling.”
“I ha- ahh… I hate you!” I groaned as he leaned up to smack my ass harshly.
“Where do you want it?” He leaned down to my ear, tongue swirling over
cartilage and slicking my hairline with spit. “Mmm… I want it- ohh, please! I
want it inside of me,” I cried shakily, though my back arched and my head
tilted to the side, asking for more… more of him. As much as I resented him, I
craved his endless teasing.
He let go of my wrists, and they immediately gravitated toward the sheets,
gripping onto them as if I needed it to breathe. I needed it to survive.
“That’s better.” He whispered, and I heard the unmistakable sound of a belt
sliding loose from its trousers. My muscles tensed in anticipation. “Relax,” he
cooed, smoothing his hands over the swell of my ass and onto my back. They
reached my shoulders, and he pushed into them gently. I sighed, eyes fluttering
shut as if that were the last time they would ever be open. “Good boy.”
I nodded, bit at the sheets. Three fingers found their way past my lips, and I
opened up to suckle them greedily, whimpering softly as his other hand reached
down to palm at my own leaking erection. “You are horrible.” I whined when he
withdrew his fingers from me. He gripped at my chin, tilting my head back to
kiss harshly at my lips. I relented, jaw dropping to let his tongue in to lap
at my own. I moaned softly into him, and his hand moved up to grip at my hair.
He pulled teasingly, until we detached and he began to kiss and suck at my neck
and shoulder. I leaned down into the pillow beneath me as his still-wet fingers
trailed down onto my tailbone. I jumped at the coldness of it, until he bit at
the juncture between neck and shoulder and I melted beneath him again.
I needed him. I needed him breathe, to validate my identity… my very existence.
Every inch of me depended on him to occur. It was as if I were the stars to his
night sky, and when morning would finally break to reveal cold, lonely winter
dew, I would be swallowed up by him into the blackness. Living on borrowed time
had taught me that I only needed him, and him alone. Everything else was
obsolete. Everything but him was irrational… none of it made sense. He was my
only constant; my only reassurance that I was even alive at all.
He slid a finger into me. Part of me wanted it to hurt. I wanted him to sear
the pain into me so that I would know that I was there. He was so gentle with
me… so soft. I craved it more than ever, and I could feel my eyes rolling back
beneath my eyelids. I could feel his breathing cascading like fog over my
shoulder blades, and I reached back with both hands to grab at his thighs. I
pulled him towards me, though he was already nearly pressed right against my
backside.
He crooked that finger inside of me and I mewled softly, rubbing my face into
the sheets as if I were an animal. If anything, he was the feral one. It both
frightened me and lifted me higher. Sometimes he would come completely undone,
and I was left with the realization that I, a mere speck of a person, was the
one capable of bringing this creature to his knees. With a curve of hip or a
breathless sigh I could seduce this immense powerhouse into a lust-filled
animal. Though while I could provoke him all I wanted, I still would always
know that he was the one who held my very life-force in his hands. It was
paralyzing.
Tonight, however, he was calculating… mild. He was utterly focused on bringing
me to the edge of sanity and back again. He wanted me to loose all composure…
wanted me to remember that it no longer mattered that I had fundamentally
committed suicide. It didn't matter anymore because whoever I was, I was first
and foremost his. I didn't have to think about the fact that anything left of
me was already dead… lost as ash into the heated, burning wind.
Another finger was added, and I circled my hips again, rolling into that stark-
white pleasure. He hummed his approval, playing me as if I were his finest
instrument. I knew he played no games with me. I was his very existence. The
centuries-old thing that he was had been replaced with Sebastian. Sebastian was
all-consuming of his character. I was sure he embraced it - embraced me - with
all he had… and though he would feign irritation and impatience, I knew that I
had given him some reason to stay. Just as he had given me purpose, I had done
so onto him. We were the light and the dark. One cannot exist without the
other, and just as we had made each other, we had resigned ourselves to this
horribly wonderful fate we both inevitably shared. The day I would die would be
the end of Sebastian. It was a bitter feeling, being both the mourned and
mourner.
I had been so lost in my pleasure that I hadn't noticed when he added a third
finger… hadn't realized how deeply he was pressing into me, or how absolutely
pathetic I sounded muffled lightly by my pillows. He rested his forehead
between my shoulder blades, and I reached up to grab at his hair with one hand,
the other clawing at the sheets beneath my belly. He growled into my skin,
teeth lathing and leaving behind red marks, I was sure. It was a slow, steady
pleasure he worked into my bones. It felt easy and raw, though I undoubtedly
felt every bit of power he exerted over me. “Mmm… that feels so good,
Sebastian,” I muttered, voice shaky and tired.
He nodded against my back before leaning up to kiss at the back of my neck,
sucking and leaving purple bruises just below my hairline. I shivered, arms
stretching out in front of me… feeling across the great ocean of cotton sheets
and billowy pillows. He never replied, only fucked me open with an even greater
determinedness. “Ahhh…” I whined helplessly beneath his ministrations, hair
falling into my eyes. He was so beautiful, so fierce… so deadly. I could almost
feel the way his eyes flared across my skin as he watched me with abhorrent
intent.
“I- I said I wanted your cock, didn’t I?” I whispered, trying my best to sound
commanding, though my voice betrayed me, and I ended sounding lost and as
though I were begging. “Be patient, my darling one.” He murmured in my ear, and
I gasped as he again crooked those fingers inside of me, pushing into that spot
that could make the stars themselves melt away. “I can’t,” I whispered almost
silently, legs spreading wider. “You can,” he replied.
He kept me this way for awhile; gently pushing up into me, and when I would get
antsy and hungered for more, he would press against that sweet little bundle of
nerves. Finally, he pulled himself away, just as I was beginning to loose my
composure. Sweat dripped off my hairline, and my cock pressed urgently against
my stomach, begging to be touched… to be given some semblance of relief.
I always found it amazing the way in which he brought me so easily to ruin.
Within a few moments he was capable of coercing me into submission, and then I
would stay there, willingly, until we both were sated. Even then I would ache
for him in a way I never thought possible to feel. It was the way I had once
thought lovers to be, but still, then it was only an inkling of a thought. I
had no idea how all-consuming such desperation and need could be. I had no idea
how powerful and scary it was, and I could no longer call it love. It was far
more sinister. It reached passed the capacity of what I thought affection once
was, and then some. It spread its self out into the night’s wind on inky
feathers and notes of crimson lullaby, and I found its song enchanting.
I heard him rustle behind me, and I could only hope that he was freeing himself
to press into my emptiness. I felt him grip at the soft globes of my ass, and
he spread them. I wriggled a bit, attempting, even in my drunken state, to
impress and to draw him in. Instead of his cock, which I now craved more than
anything, I felt a wet, hot tongue press up against my entrance. I gasped,
shuddering into the air as I raised myself up to glance behind.
He was a sight to behold. His eyes were closed in what I could only describe as
bliss, and as I felt that incredibly talented mouth and tongue work themselves
in and around my greedy hole, I could see the way his eyebrows knit together…
noticed the way his shoulders would tense and relax with every twitch of my
legs against his torso. I moaned loudly, pushing myself softly against that
burning need, filling my mind with the image of him worshiping this broken body
of mine. He kissed up to my tailbone… trailed his tongue along my spine. I
didn’t care now what he would do to me. My only request was that he never stop.
I should have been the one worshiping him, I thought incoherently as his hands
slid up to grasp tightly at my undulating waist. My arms failed beneath me, and
I collapsed again onto my front just before I was lifted and turned around to
face him. He spread my thighs enticingly, situating himself between my legs and
rubbing his angry, red cock against the crease of my ass. I whined, hands
fluttering helplessly above my head in search of something to hold onto. He
recognized my distress, and grasped both wrists easily in hand.
I immediately relaxed under his control. It meant that I did not have to worry
about my own body anymore. I wanted him to dictate me, if only for this short
time. He could simultaneously send me to the depths of hell and the gates of
heaven. I trusted him enough to let him grant me this relief, and I was
unendingly thankful for this purchase in which I so desperately grasped. I
rocked my bottom against him, and he breathed a sweet sigh of lust through his
parted mouth. My toes curled. “Sebastian, I am not a fragile doll… please, just
take me.” I whispered, breathless as if I were a dying storm. “But I already
have you, my lord.” I shook my head, swallowing roughly as he pushed himself
against me. I gasped, “N-no! Fuck me! I want you to fuck me… please.”
“You ask so nicely.” He cooed, a curious smile plastering across his wetted
lips. “Yes! Please, Sebastian! Please!” He let go of my wrists to stroke at my
hair, pulling it out of my face to lean down and lave kisses all across it. He
spread my legs further, and with a bottle of oil he took from the drawer, he
slicked along my hot and begging entrance. He pumped his fingers in, and then
out of me again, assuring that I was still ready for him.
“Ohh!” I groaned, pulsing around those fingers. He retracted them, reaching for
his cock instead. With one hand, he held me apart, and with the other, he
guided his swollen erection into me slowly. I cried out at his incorrigible
heat. My knees wrinkled the sheets below them as he restlessly pushed himself
to the hilt. “Ah- Sebastian,” I whined, voice high and breathless. He ran his
hands through my hair and I could swear I felt claws there; scratching at my
scalp and pressing into the nape of my neck. I shivered, back arching as I
melted into the bed linens.
“There you go…” he cooed in my ear, tugging gently at my hair before laving
both hands down and over the delicate swell of my ass, “good. Good boy.” I
nodded incoherently, lost under the pleasure of his swollen cock… the pressure
of his body as he leaned over me. “Oh, look at that, little one. You take me
into you so well… such a sweet boy.” He whispered into the soft downy hairs at
the nape of my neck, smirk drawn tight across his lips.
He grabbed at my hips strongly, gripping them as if I were his only lifeboat. I
keened high in my throat as I felt him fully press into me, and he leaned up to
stare down at his prey, still massaging roughly at my heated skin. He left no
time to adjust, beginning to thrust shallowly. He didn’t pull all the way out
yet, only moved just enough to tease over my spot, and I gasped, eyes
scrunching shut and eyebrows knitting together. “Aaah!” I cried out, toes
curling in the sheets as I held still for him to work his way into me. He
chuckled darkly, and I wondered just what he was thinking.
Sebastian was never one to share exactly what was going on within that mind of
his. I wondered just how it worked; how he was wired. I was sure that he knew
exactly what he did to me, and how it would effect my behaviors. He loved to
manipulate me thusly.
He manipulated me now, as his thrusts became harder and longer… deeper. It
forced a rather embarrassing sound from me, and I couldn’t help but feel the
heat rise to my face and taint me red as if I had spent far too much time
beneath the sun. “Is that good, little one?” He asked softly, and I nodded
furiously, knuckles going white from gripping the sheets too hard.
I felt feverish. He was so hot, so overwhelming. His skin burned me as if he
were a licking flame, and each time he moved it sent that inordinate heat
throughout my entire being until I felt as though I was nothing if not his
alone. “Ohhh…” I whined, spit dripping from my lips to smear across the linens
below them, “Sebastian!” My eyes closed in rapture, and I began to meet his
thrusts gently, circling my hips in small little gestures, egging him on…
tempting him.
“My sweet kitten,” he replied softly, and I nodded again, “Yes, Sebastian.
Yes.” I was incoherent, melting at the feeling of that thick cock violating my
most inanimate parts. I clenched around him, and he groaned softly, nails
biting into my flesh. “Yes!” I panted, feeling him work in and out of me with
such a dominating energy, and I could feel my resolve slipping. I couldn’t hold
on for much longer.
I nearly screamed, my entire body trembling with the sheer force of the
pleasure he pushed so harshly into me. “My darling boy. You fall apart in my
arms so quickly, don't you?” I dare not reply. I could only gasp for air as
those hands crept up to grasp at my wrists… pin them to the sheets above my
head. He leaned over me, thrusting still, and I arched beneath him, melting. My
little cock pushed up against the cotton below with every thrust, and I sighed
with relief, canting my hips up to meet him, then down to rub against the bed
below me.
“You’re doing so well, just a little longer,” Sebastian murmured sweetly into
my ear, and I shook my head. “Don’t stop, don’t stop!” I cried, voice heavy
with my panting breath. He chuckled again, grinding into me harder, and I
sobbed. I let my head fall down onto the bed, eyes rolling closed as he fucked
me harder into the mattress. I whimpered, mouth hanging open against my
immobile arm, and his grip on me only tightened further. I had become so
pliable beneath his touch, so obedient. I am sure that he did not mind, for the
way he moved within me was so demanding and eager.
He took what he wanted from me, and in return I was ruined. He pushed my wrists
together, then, holding them tight within only one palm. He took his free hand
and clawed against my back, pushing and straining. Then he went back to grab at
my thigh and hip, pulling me up to meet him every time he pushed into me. I
could only whimper in response, feeling the heat building incredulously within
my core. I could not move, but I could feel my legs begin to shake with my
upcoming orgasm.
“I’m go- ahhh! I’m gonna come!” I whined, hands fisting within his grasp.
“Mmm…” he hummed, and I could feel the smile around his voice, “then come.” He
thrust up into me hard, and as he hit that sweet bundle of nerves one last
time, I fell apart beneath him. I gasped, eyes screwing shut as I writhed
beneath him. “Oh, there you go, my sweet boy.” He held me steady as I shuddered
in his grasp, back arching and legs quivering. “Seba- ahhhgn… ahh! ah, ohhh.” I
felt the warmth of my release spread across my belly and I groaned, still
twitching and writhing gently beneath him. His thrusts became more erratic, and
I could hear his heavy breath as he bent down to nip at my shoulder. Then, he
came, painting me with him as he bit harshly into my skin, growling against me.
I keened high in my throat, pushing back against him and squeezing tightly
around his shaft as he pushed himself into me gently.
Finally, his thrusting ceased, and he kissed off the mark he left upon my skin,
flourishing my neck and back with his lips. “You did so well for me,” he
whispered. I sighed contentedly, eyes fluttering open as he withdrew himself
from me. He released my wrists as if I were his most important prisoner, but I
was happy to leave them right where they were as I caught my breath. I felt the
weight of the bed shift as he went to fetch a wet towel from the washroom. My
legs failed me, and I collapsed onto my front, toes curling and releasing.
He cleaned me thoroughly and gently, his hands working as though I were soft
porcelain under his touch. When he was finished, he came back to kiss me
softly, and I pulled him down onto the bed beside me, gripping at his
shoulders. He caressed the side of my waist gingerly, and as I withdrew from
his lips, I opened my eyes to see him staring intently at me. His eyes bore
into mine as if I were to evaporate into the air if he blinked. It unnerved me
greatly, and so I retreated into the crook of his neck, choosing instead to
breathe in the comforting scent he offered.
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