Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/280466.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      My_Chemical_Romance, Good_Charlotte
  Relationship:
      Frank_Iero/Gerard_Way, Ray_Toro/Mikey_Way
  Character:
      Frank_Iero, Ray_Toro, Gerard_Way, Mikey_Way, Bob_Bryar, Brian_Schechter,
      Joel_Madden, Benji_Madden
  Additional Tags:
      Community:_zombiebang
  Series:
      Part 1 of Late_Dawns
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-11-20 Words: 17737
****** Late Dawns ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     When Gerard was little, he used to love Monroeville Mall. Whenever
     his mom took he and Mikey there, it was like a field trip, both boys
     brimming with excitement. They always had the same routine; they’d
     arrive early, before the crowds got too big, and Donna Way would let
     her two boys have a ride on the small child’s carousel, before the
     shopping would begin. They didn’t come that often, but when they did,
     Gerard found it hard to sleep the night before.
     So, when the world started going to shit, Gerard knew there was only
     one place he wanted to go.
He could swear the days were getting longer. The sun was setting much earlier,
the dawn coming so much later.
He ran a hand through his long, greasy black hair, staring out at the orange
sky.
Six years it had been since he’d first sat on this rooftop.
He felt a shiver run down his spine as he shook the memory from his head.
“Gee? You ok?”
He looked around to see a smaller, dark haired boy walking towards him, a look
of concern on his face.
“Yeah, I’m fine Frankie…you should be sleeping.”
Frank shrugged and sat down beside him, his legs dangling over the side of the
roof.
“There’s not too many this morning,” he remarked, resting his head on Gerard’s
shoulder.
“It’s still early,” Gerard sighed.
Frank shrugged again. “Come back to bed,” he muttered, leaning up to mouth
along Gerard’s jaw.
Gerard shook his head. “Can’t sleep.”
Frank sighed, before getting to his feet again. He leaned slightly over the
edge of the roof, eyeing the ground below.
“I don’t know why you insist on doing this every morning,” he yawned,
stretching. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Gerard’s head, before making
his way across the roof, and through the small door that led inside the
building.
-
When Gerard was little, he used to love Monroeville Mall. Whenever his mom took
he and Mikey there, it was like a field trip, both boys brimming with
excitement. They always had the same routine; they’d arrive early, before the
crowds got too big, and Donna Way would let her two boys have a ride on the
small child’s carousel, before the shopping would begin. They didn’t come that
often, but when they did, Gerard found it hard to sleep the night before.
So, when the world started going to shit, Gerard knew there was only one place
he wanted to go.
-
“Is he sitting up there?” a tall skinny boy in spectacles asked as Frank made
his way across the food court.
He nodded.
“Dude, this isn’t healthy.”
“I know, Mikey, I know,” Frank sighed.
“Maybe Ray should talk to him?” Mikey asked, making his way behind the counter
belonging to Burger King, and pouring a Coke Zero from the drinks dispenser.
“Won’t do much good,” Frank sighed, taking the drink and propping his elbows up
on the counter. “He just sits up there, watching them,” he gave a little
shiver.
“I know dude, I know…I just…wish I knew what to do,” Mikey gave a defeated
sigh, before sauntering off to the kitchen in search of those bean burgers
Frank loved so much.
-
He was lying on his stomach now, eyes trained on the bodies moving in a slow
procession. They bounced off each other, and into walls, abandoned cars,
tripping over broken boulders.
Around two years ago, Gerard had banned everyone from throwing the boulders, or
messing about with the air rifles. It wasn’t their fault, he’d told the boys.
They couldn’t help it.
He could still remember Frank’s face the first time he’d seen a Lacidite. He
was only ten years old, holding onto Mikey’s hand as Gerard shoved them through
Frank’s mothers front door.
“Just grab some clothes, and hurry up Frankie,” a twelve year old Gerard had
told him. Frank nodded, and quickly ran up the stairs. Gerard had pulled Mikey
into the kitchen, and was rooting through the cupboards.
“Gee?”
“Not now Mikes,” Gerard grunted as he pulled a large butchers knife from a
drawer, nodding at it.
“Gee…I’m scared.”
Gerard had turned to his little brother, his little body shaking, his glasses
on the tip on his nose.
“Hey, it’s ok,” Gerard said, pulling him close. “We’ll be ok.”
“I want mom.”
Gerard felt an ache in his stomach. Of course he wanted his mom. So did Gerard.
But they couldn’t see their mom. No, they couldn’t see their mom ever again.
Because, Gerard had just locked her in the basement of their house, as she
writhed and screamed, her eyes blackened and her mouth foaming.
It was a sight Gerard Way was never going to forget. Not that, nor the sight of
his father’s half mutilated corpse, lying in the kitchen, where he’d found his
mother making a meal of his father’s intestines.
It was ironic that those silly zombie movies his mother tried so hard to stop
him from watching were what saved their lives that day, as he’d lead her to the
basement and locked her in, before grabbing Mikey from his bedroom, and running
straight for Bob’s house.
He’d found thirteen year old Bob, cowering in his hall closet, a knife gripped
in his hands, blood smeared all over his hands and arms.
Gerard hadn’t asked for the details, as he tried to block Mikey’s view of the
feet of Mrs. Bryar, sticking out from the kitchen doorway. He grabbed Bob, and
got them moving.
Frank was sitting on his front porch, chin resting on his hands when he’d seen
Gerard, Mikey and Bob show up.
“Frank! Where’s your mom?” Gerard had called, as Mikey ran over to his best
friend and gripped his hand.
“I don’t know…I’m locked out,” he replied in a bored tone. His eyes widened as
he saw the blood covering both Bob and Gerard.
“What…what happened? Are you ok?”
At that point, Gerard had started to kick at Frank’s door, breaking the lock
and shoving them through the door.
As Gerard had held Mikey, he heard a scream from up stairs. As his heart raced,
he told Mikey to go get Bob, and not come back inside, no matter what.
As he’d bolted up the stairs, he froze before he got to Franks room.
Frank was on his back, screaming, tears running down his little red cheeks. His
mother was pinning him down, snarling, foaming at the mouth. Gerard could see
her eyes were black, no pupil, no white…just black.
Suddenly, the butchers knife in his hand felt heavy in his grip.
He always said he’d never forgive himself for that day. He was only doing what
he knew he had to do. He was only saving Frankie, saving them all. As he rammed
the knife into the back of Frank’s mother’s skull, he knew he’d never forget
the look on Frank’s face, full of fear, confusion, and hate.
He’d dragged Frank down the stairs and out of the house, grabbing the car keys
from the bowl by the door, to where Bob was holding onto little Mikey’s hand.
He threw the keys to Bob, figuring that all those years of soap box racing and
go-karting must have taught him something about driving.
Gerard sighed at the memory, watching the ‘zombies’ claw at the wall below him.
He was a good thirty odd feet above them, but he knew they could smell him. He
dropped his elbows to rest his head flat on his hands.
Six years they’d been living in Monroeville Mall, and if he was honest, he
couldn’t really complain too much. When they’d arrived, he’d expected more
people to be there, and was surprised to only find a handful of boys, most
around his own age. There was Ray, a frizzy haired kid he recognised from
Summer camp a few years ago; the twins, Benji and Joel, who’d been visiting
their grandma when they’re parents had tried to eat them, and Brian, who Gerard
was convinced was going to have a heart attack before he was eighteen if he
worried anymore.
The boys had barricaded themselves into the mall, arming themselves with the
rifles and handguns they’d found in the security office. It had been easy
enough, and Bob and Gerard had managed to take out the three Lacidite guards in
a few shots.
If it had been under any other circumstances, their lives would have been
perfect. In the six years they’d lived in the mall, they’d seen less than
twelve people from the outside. Only half of them had lived, when they left, as
far as Gerard knew. He’d seen six of them die, and as for the others…well, he
liked to think they made it to their destinations. He’d offered them to live
with them, it wasn’t like they didn’t have the space. But no, they always said
they were moving on. Heading for New Mexico.
Gerard shook his head as he thought about that. Yes, he knew of the supposed
sanctuary that was New Mexico. But whether it existed was another question all
together. He found it hard to believe there was a cure out there, for if there
was, wouldn’t the world have been saved by now?
No, he much rathered staying here, in his mall, with his brother, his friends,
and his boyfriend.
Boyfriend. How he’d ended up with Frank, he’d never know. Yes, he loved him,
with all his heart. He just didn’t understand how Frank could love him, not
after everything. He couldn’t love himself, never mind understand how another
person could love him.
He turned onto his back, staring up at the orange dawn. As the snarls sounded
below him, he closed his eyes.
-
Now Mikey Way loved living in the mall. He always figured that most sixteen
year olds would spend all their time at the mall anyway, so living in one was
pretty epic. He’d sleep as late as he wanted, on the futon bed he’d dragged
into the GameStop store and set up in front of the giant HD screen that he had
almost every possibly games console plugged into. Each morning he’d get up, eat
a breakfast of whichever fast food restaurant’s kitchen he felt like on the
food court and spend the day wandering around the mall, doing as he pleased.
Sometimes he’d spend the day playing games in GameStop with Ray, other times
he’d find himself in the music store with Benji, teaching themselves how to
play the guitar, drums, whatever they wanted. And every now and then, he would
join Brian in Barnes and Noble, reading quietly, or debating on something or
other. Or sometimes, like today, he’d find himself wandering towards the roof.
He could never understand why on Earth his older brother insisted on spending
hours each day on the roof. If they really needed to keep an eye on the
zombies, they could sit in the security room; there were cameras everywhere
anyway.
It had been a few hours since Frank had visited Gerard’s spot, overlooking the
east car park and he still hadn’t came down.
As Mikey pushed the little door open to the roof, he saw Gerard lying on his
back near the edge.
Mikey sighed as he wandered over, going over in his mind how many times he’d
warned Gerard not to fall asleep up here - he could roll off! Then he’d really
be fucked.
He crouched down next to his sleeping brother and shook him gently.
“Gee? Gee, wake up,” he said softly.
Gerard’s eyes flickered open.
“Huh?” he shook his head.
“You fell asleep again,” Mikey smiled, holding out a hand to pull him to his
feet.
“Sorry,” Gerard yawned, stretching tall as he stood up.
They were silent for a minute, as Mikey looked at the bodies below, walking in
their slow procession.
“Why do you come out here?” he finally asked.
“Huh?” Gerard asked, rubbing his eyes.
“I just don’t get it,” Mikey said, backing away from the edge. “It’s horrible
up here. Why do you want to watch this?”
He gestured to the edge.
Gerard gave a small sigh. “I don’t know. I just…it calms me, I guess?”
Mikey stared at his older brother incredulously. “It calms you? Are you nuts?”
Gerard shrugged, and started towards the door.
“Gerard, you’ve been acting weirder than usual,” Mikey said, a few steps behind
him.
“Have I?”
“Yeah. You’re spending too much time up here, and not enough time with us.
Everyone’s worried.”
Gerard stopped and turned to look at his younger brother.
“I’m sorry, Mikes. I just…I feel like…I belong up here…”
Mikey put his hands on his hips. “You belong up here? Watching virus infected
zombies who want nothing more than to make spaghetti out of our intestines?”
Gerard gave a small, sad laugh. “I guess.”
Mikey shook his head, staring at the ground.
“I’m scared Gerard.”
“What?” he stepped forward, lifting Mikey’s chin. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re scaring me.”
Gerard looked at him, confused. “What?”
“It’s like…it’s like you’ve given up.”
Gerard sighed, and shook his head. “I’ve not Mikey. I just…I just…” he couldn’t
finish his sentence.
Mikey nodded, and patted his shoulder.
“Come on, I think Joel’s in Starbucks.”
-
“You asshole!” Frank laughed, standing up from the fountain in which he’d just
plunged into.
Joel laughed, holding onto his side. “That’s what you get, short ass!”
As Gerard walked nearer, he saw Frank kick water out the boy in front of him.
Gerard loved that fountain. Bang right in the centre of the mall, it was
fifteen feet tall, an abstract of some kind. As a child, Gerard would spend
hours trying to draw it, but each time he saw it, it looked completely
different.
Frank stopped kicking water at the laughing boy and smiled as he saw Gerard
grow nearer.
Joel giggled as Frank tried to climb over the stone wall which he’d just been
thrown over.
“Need a hand? Or, you know, a step ladder?” Joel cackled.
“You’re an ass,” Gerard gave a small smile as he helped his soaking boyfriend
climb over the wall.
Frank giggled as his feet hit the floor and he slid slightly on the water. He
held on tightly to Gerard’s arms, steadying himself.
“Come on,” Gerard smiled. “Let’s get you dried.”
-
Gerard sat on the cushioned seats outside the fitting room in Hot Topic as
Frank admired himself in the full length mirrors.
“I think I’ve put on weight,” Frank said, walking out topless, and pinching
some flesh at his hips.
“You look fine to me,” Gerard said, quickly averting his eyes.
Frank made a whining sound, and stepped over to him, lifting his chin.
“I think it’s those bean burgers,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss him.
Gerard opened his mouth to let Frank push his tongue through his lips.
He let his hands slide to Frank’s hips as the smaller boy climbed on top of
him, pushing him back against the red cushioned seat. He ran his hands down
Frank’s thighs as they spread to straddle him.
He felt Frank smile through there kiss and push himself down, grinding softly.
Gerard moaned, before breaking the kiss, and pushing softly at Frank’s chest.
“No, Frank…” he said, turning his head.
Frank stopped moving, and sighed into Gerard’s neck, before getting to his
feet.
“Whatever.” He said, returning to the fitting rooms.
Gerard took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. He stood up, and
walked to a rack of black jeans. He really should get a new pair, he thought,
before Frank came stomping back towards him, now wearing a Team Edward shirt
that Gerard had warned him several times he hated.
“What is your problem, Gee?” he asked, hands on his hips. “What have I done?”
“What?” Gerard asked returning the black denims he was holding to their spot on
the rail.
“Every time I come near you, you pull away! You won’t even fucking sleep next
to me anymore!”
Gerard flinched at the volume of Frank’s voice.
“It’s not like that Frankie,” he sighed, reaching out to put his hands on his
boyfriends hips, pulling him closer.
“Well what is it, Gee? Because I don’t like it…” Frank’s voice was shaky, as he
reached his hands up to rub at the faint coffee stain in Gerard’s t-shirt.
“I don’t know…I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
Frank gave a small laugh. “Gerard, what on Earth can you have on your mind?”
Gerard stared at him, incredulously.
None of them got it, did they?
Gerard stepped away, letting go of Frank, shaking his head.
“What the Hell, Gee?” Frank yelled.
Gerard turned his back, walking away.
“Where are you going?” Frank called after him.
He almost had to laugh. Did they really need to ask?
-
As he reached the edge of the roof, Gerard let out a loud yell. Not quite a
scream, but almost.
He wished someone would just understand. His own brother couldn’t even get it.
He wished Bob was there. He’d understand.
Gerard had known Bob for as long as he could remember. There was only a year
between them, and the minute they’d met, Gerard had known he had a friend for
life. Sure, Frank was cool, but Frank was Mikey’s friend. It was nice to have a
friend of his own.
When they’d first started living in the mall, having Bob there made it all so
much easier on him. As the oldest in the group, Bob and Gerard practically ran
the place. Ray and Brian were a year younger than Gerard, with Mikey, Frank and
the twins the youngest.
Gerard and Bob had looked after them for years, even though they were just
children themselves.
Gerard smiled to himself as he thought of Bob’s face, whenever he got pissed
off. Oh no, Bob had no problem putting people in their place.
It was about a week before his eighteenth birthday things that started to get
strange. He’d felt sick, had been lying in bed more than usual. Gerard hadn’t
worried at first, assuming it some kind of cold, or food poisoning. When he
hadn’t got any better, Gerard got worried. He’d caught Bob throwing up blood in
the private bathrooms by the security room.
“I’m fine dude, honestly,” Bob had assured him, returning to bed.
But Gerard knew better.
They’d had their theories, surrounding the Lacid Virus. It seemed it only
affected adults. Well, they’d never seen anyone their own age infected. They’d
seen their parents, neighbours, and strangers all turn into these gut eating
monsters, but never someone their own age.
“What if,” Gerard had said to Benji one night as they sat together, sharing an
acoustic guitar. “What if it only hits you when you’re of an adult age? What if
it’s when your body hit’s a certain age, the virus gets you?”
In the days before all communication was cut off, they had seen the news
reports on the large televisions in the electronics store. There was no
definite information on the virus, other than it’s name and the effects. No one
knew where it came from, or why it was spreading.
“Don’t worry dude,” Benji said, strumming some soft chords. “It’s probably
nothing.”
And how Gerard had wished he was right.
On the day of Bob’s birthday, they had all crowded outside the door of the
security room, where he’d taken to spending the nights, watching the screens of
bodies, wandering the streets outside.
As they burst in the room with a chorus of ‘happy birthday’, they all fell
silent.
Bob was lying on his side on the blood stained mattress he’d dragged into the
room, clutching his stomach, blood leaking from his lips, his eyes watery.
“Bob?” Gerard has whispered, dropping to his side.
“It’s happening,” Bob spluttered. “It’s happening Gee.”
Gerard shook his head. “No, it doesn’t work like that, you haven’t been
bitten.”
Bob gave a small laugh. “I know we live in a mall…but this…isn’t…Dawn of
the…fucking Dead…”
Brian helped Gerard carry Bob to the basement below the Bed Shack.
“We don’t know for sure…” Brian kept saying. “We don’t know if this is it…this
could just be…”
“What?” Bob groaned as they sat him down on some piled up mattresses. “A
stomach bug? I don’t…think so…Schechter…”
Gerard stepped back, running his hands through his hair. He watched as Bob lay
back, trying to even out his breathing. His eyes were a milky colour, he was
spitting blood with every cough.
“So…” Bob spoke slowly between breaths. “It does…only happen…to adults…”
“We don’t-” Brian was cut off.
“We do,” Bob said sternly, clutching his stomach. “I know…what’s happening…to
me…Brian.”
Gerard gripped his hair, shaking his head. “No, Bob…this…this can’t be…”
Bob looked at his oldest friend, nodding. “It is…I can-” he let out a scream,
curling in on himself as his fingertips gripped his blood stained shirt.
Gerard fell to his knees beside him, wrapping his arms around his friend.
“Please, Bob…no…” he whispered.
Brian took a few steps back, towards the stairwell, averting his eyes from the
scene in front of him.
“It’s…ok,” Bob breathed at last. “It’s ok…Gee…”
“No, no it’s not…you can’t…you can’t just…”
“I don’t have much of a choice…” he almost laughed. “It must
be…something…hormones…”
Gerard shook his head as tears stung his eyes.
It took almost 23 hours before Bob was completely gone. Gerard always figured
that Bob was right, it must be something to do with adult hormones. He never
knew why it was only when they hit eighteen years old, and not when they hit
puberty. Then again, he never really understood anything with the Lacid virus.
Before the end of the day on Bob’s eighteenth birthday, he was gone.
“Just…shoot…me…” he’d begged.
Gerard had Brian and Ray keep Mikey, Frank and the twins upstairs in the mall.
They were only fifteen, he didn’t want them to see this. The fact that Frank
and the twins had already dealt with seeing their parents become intestine
eating monsters was bad enough, without a friend they’d spent the past five
years living with.
Gerard shook his head, tears sliding down his cheeks onto his t-shirt as he
curled into a ball in the corner of the small, Bed Shack basement.
“Please…” Bob rasped. “I don’t…I don’t want to…be…one of…them…” he pleaded.
Gerard looked up at his friend.
Bob was lying on his side, his eyes almost completely white now. He was still
gripping at his shirt, giving small convulsions, blood dripping down the side
of his head from his ear.
Gerard shook his head. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kill his best friend.
But what else could he do? He couldn’t let Bob near the others, he’d kill them
all. He couldn’t keep him locked up in this basement, like some pet zombie.
He got to his feet, and looked at his watch. 11.50pm, the little dial read.
Gerard took a deep breath, and walked over to the pile of mattresses, and
pulled Bob to his feet.
“What…are…you…doing…Ger…ard?” the sick boy gasped, as Gerard started walking
him towards the stair well.
“Just…be quiet, ok?” Gerard said through his tears.
He managed to get Bob up the stairs and to the back entrance without too much
hassle. He was pretty sure Bob seemed to be getting stronger as they walked,
and his breathing wasn’t quite as erratic now.
Gerard knew he didn’t have long.
“Gee…” Bob said, shaking his head as he realised what Gerard was doing.
“You can’t…you can’t…let me go….you can’t…”
“Bob,” Gerard said, dropping Bob’s arm from around his neck, and leaning him
against the glass doors.
“You’re my best friend Bob. I’m not…I won’t kill you. I can’t…I’m sorry…” he
felt the tears sting his eyes again. “I can’t do it.”
Bob shook his head, leaning back against the cool glass panels.
“Gerard, if you let me go, I’ll kill anyone I see…you can’t…let me…do that…”
Gerard looked up to see blood mingled tears slipping down his friend’s face.
“I’m sorry,” Gerard whispered, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I love you
Bryar.”
Bob nodded against Gerard’s neck, gripping his shirt tight.
As he pulled back and looked into Bob’s face, Gerard noticed his eyes were
becoming a darker grey colour.
He stepped back, pulling a set of keys from his pant’s pocket. He fumbled for
the right one, before pressing it into slot by the doors, twisting it to start
the shutters moving. He opened the outside shutters to just a little taller
than Bob’s height, before removing the key to unlock the doors. He was grateful
there were no Lacidites outside the doors right now - he really couldn’t have
handled that.
He took a deep breath, and stepped back.
“Take…take care of them, ok?” Bob said, his voice getting a little steadier.
Gerard nodded, rubbing at his eyes.
As Bob was about to open the door, he turned to Gerard once more.
“Oh…and Gee?”
Gerard looked up.
“Frank…just…don’t break his heart, ok?”
Gerard cocked his head, confused. What the Hell was he on about?
“What?”
Bob gave a small smile. “You’ll see.”
He turned and exited the doors, closing them quietly behind him. Gerard quickly
locked the doors again, removed the keys and stepped back. He stood by the slot
for the shutters as he watched Bob stare into the empty space of the east car
park. His breath was shaking as he watched Bob’s small convulsions slowly stop.
Gerard felt his heart break as Bob turned around to face his, his eyes black,
his lips white. Blood was encrusted around his mouth and down the sides of his
face.
Gerard tried to hold back the sobs trying to escape his body.
Bob cocked his head, slowly pressing his face against the glass, sniffing.
He was gone.
Gerard hadn’t heard the footsteps behind him as he fumbled to push the keys
into the shutter slot. He felt a set of arms wrap around his waist, and slowly
twisted his head to see Frank behind him, pulling him close.
Gerard shook his head, screwing up his eyes, feeling his legs give way.
As Frank slid to the ground with the older boy, he pulled him into his arms.
“Shhh, Gerard…it’s ok…it’s ok…” he said through tears of his own.
He looked back at the rest of their group standing behind him, Mikey and Ray
wiping tears from their faces, Brian rubbing Mikey’s back. The twins were stood
slightly further back, faces pale, eyes trained on the glass doors.
Frank turned to look at their old friend, watching them silently through the
glass, head still cocked to one side, eyeing them curiously. Frank closed his
eyes, ducking his head into Gerard shoulder, rocking them back and forward.
“It’s okay…I’ve got you…” Frank whispered, placing a small kiss in Gerard’s
hair, as the older boy tightened his grip.
Frank had spent the rest of the night by the doors with Gerard, not leaving his
side. He just seemed to take charge of the situation, asking Ray and Brian to
take Mikey and the twins to bed, he’d look after Gerard.
By 4am, Bob was still in the same spot, still watching them. Frank didn’t say a
word, as he sat by Gerard’s side.
“You should go to bed,” Gerard croaked, rubbing his face.
“I’m not leaving you here,” Frank said quietly.
“Why?”
Frank looked up at him. “What do you mean? I can’t just leave you here by
yourself!”
Gerard shook his head. “No, why you? Why don’t you want to leave me?”
Frank stared back, confusion in his face. “I don’t…I don’t know what you mean,
Gee…”
Gerard shook his head, returning his gaze to the simplified boy beyond the
doors.
“Doesn’t matter.”
It was around 5am when Bob finally left. Gerard sprang to his feet, almost
running to the doors as he watched Bob slowly, clumsily, limp away from the
glass. Frank grabbed onto Gerard’s hand as he tried to run for the doors.
“Gerard…you have to let him go,” he said through fresh tears. “He’s gone. He’s
not Bob anymore.”
Gerard turned to the smaller boy, his breathing erratic.
“He’s…he’s my best friend, Frank.” He said in a small, shaky voice.
“I know,” Frank nodded, pulling Gerard back to face him. “But you still have
Mikey, and everyone else. You still have us. We need you.”
Gerard looked into his face. “And you?”
Frank looked confused. “What?”
“I still have you.”
Frank rubbed at the tears in his eyes. “What? Of course you still have
me…you’ll always have me.”
Gerard nodded, and pulled Frank into his arms, holding him tight.
“You saved my life.” Frank whispered, burying his face into the older boys
shoulder.
Gerard rubbed at his eyes as he remembered that night, trying to stop the tears
that were threatening to spill from his tear ducts. It hadn’t been an easy year
since Bob had left. Well, not for Gerard anyway.
They’d tried to return to normal, and for the most part, they did. Soon enough,
they were back into their routine of food fights in the food court (that Brian
would complain about and end up cleaning up on his own), they were crashing out
in Mikey’s GameStop, and having jamming sessions in the music store.
Gerard tried to join in, he tried to have fun and carry on, but it wasn’t that
easy.
Gerard swung his legs over the edge of the roof, kicking his heels off the wall
softly. He rubbed at a ketchup stain on his pants, a small smile on his face.
Frank was so messy when he ate, he got ketchup everywhere. In fact, Gerard was
pretty sure that every item of clothing he owned had some kind of stain from
Frank’s messy eating. Sure, they had access to whatever clothes they wanted now
(as Frank had clearly demonstrated in Hot Topic), but Gerard liked sticking to
the same clothes, mostly. Being dressed in faded, worn denim made him
feel…normal. Being able to wear something new every single day made him feel
strange, like it wasn’t home. If he wore comfortable clothing that smelled of
him, he felt normal again.
He felt a pang of guilt as he thought about Frank. He knew Frank loved him. In
fact, when he came to think about it, he didn’t know how he hadn’t realised it
sooner.
In the hours after Bob had left, Gerard had let Frank take him to his bed.
Frank had gave a small laugh as he tucked Gerard into the make shift bed he’d
made for himself on the floor of the art store.
“This is just so typically Gerard,” he’d smiled as he smoothed his hair down.
“Frank?” Gerard whispered.
“Yeah?”
He leaned up on his elbows to look at the younger boy.
“Do you…do you wanna…sleep here…tonight?”
Frank looked at him for a few seconds, silent, before replying, “Do you want me
to?”
Gerard bit his lip, and nodded.
“Ok then.”
As Frank lay down next to him, Gerard turned onto his side, watching him.
“Frank?”
“Yeah?” he answered, staring at the ceiling.
“Why do you care so much about me?”
Frank turned his head to look at him.
“What?”
“Why do you always try so hard for me?”
“I care about you,” Frank gave a small shrug.
“Is that all?”
Frank didn’t turn or meet his eyes, keeping his sight on the ceiling.
“What do you mean? You’re one of my best friends…”
“Is that all I am to you?” Gerard bit his lip. He had no idea where these words
were coming from, or why he was saying them.
“Did Bob tell you something?” Frank asked, finally turning his head to look at
Gerard.
Gerard shook his head, as he remembered Bob’s warning. No, he couldn’t tell him
that.
“Why, did you tell Bob something?” He swallowed.
Frank bit his lip, staring into Gerard’s eyes.
“It doesn’t matter,” he answered finally, returning his gaze to the ceiling,
pulling the bed sheets closer to his neck.
Gerard sighed, and lay back. What was he even doing?
They’d been lying in silence for a few minutes before Gerard felt Frank moving
next to him. He turned his head to see Frank lying on his side, his back to
him.
As the smaller boy shifted to get comfortable on the thin blankets Gerard had
laid on the floor, he couldn’t help but smile.
Gerard turned onto his side, and shifted himself closer until he was pushed up
against Frank’s back. He felt the smaller boy freeze as he wrapped and arm over
his waist, resting it against his stomach.
As he pushed his nose into the back of Franks neck, he whispered, “Is this ok?”
Frank gave a small nod, bringing a hand to link his fingers with Gerard’s.
“Took you long enough,” he could hear the smirk in Frank’s voice.
“Oh yeah?” he yawned.
“Yeah,” Frank turned his head slightly to press a small kiss against the side
of Gerard’s mouth.
Gerard smiled.
“First kiss.”
Frank nodded, before shuffling further against Gerard and letting sleep take
him.
-
Gerard spent the rest of the day on the roof, staring out into the growing sea
of walking corpses below. When it began to grow dark, he heard the roof door
open and close gently behind him, and footsteps grow nearer.
“One day you’re gonna fall off, you know?”
Gerard gave a small laugh as Frank sat down beside him.
“I hate it up here.” Frank stated.
“Then why come up?”
“Because it seems like it’s the only way I can spend time with my boyfriend,”
he sighed, pulling at the threads of the hole he’d apparently already ripped in
his fresh jeans. Gerard bit back a laugh when he noticed the sauce stains
already on the front of his new pants.
“He’s not out there, you know,” Frank said, staring down at a teenage girl who
kept walking into the same car, over and over again.
“What?” Gerard asked, slightly startled.
“I know you’re looking for him. He’s not there, Gee. He’s probably long gone
from here.”
Gerard sighed. “Maybe.”
They were silent again for several minutes before Frank spoke up.
“I know what’s wrong, you know.”
Gerard turned to him, lifting an eyebrow.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep.”
“And what’s that then?”
“It’s your birthday next month.”
Gerard felt his breathing hitch in his chest.
“Mhm?” he managed, staring back out at the thinning crowd.
“I’ve known for a while, I just didn’t know what to say. I still don’t.”
Gerard nodded. Well, at least they knew what he was thinking. Maybe they
weren’t all as ignorant as he thought.
“Say something,” Frank said, staring at Gerard who wouldn’t turn to meet his
eyes.
“Like what?” he whispered, keeping his eyes trained on the same girl who was
walking into the car over and over again.
“Just tell me something, Gerard, anything.” His voice was pleading.
Gerard stared down and his hands, and saw Frank’s hand push it’s way into them.
“I don’t know what to say Frank. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do.”
He held Frank’s hand in his own, tracing the lines on his palm, up to the
tattooed stitches Frank had done on his wrist by himself, when he’d finally
figured out how to work the tattoo guns in the parlour.
“Gerard, we don’t know-”
“Don’t, Frank,” Gerard dropped his hand, and pushed himself to his feet. “Don’t
say that we don’t know for certain. We do know, ok? I know what’s going to
happen to me. We know what happens.”
He ran his hands through his hair, turning his back on the car park.
“What do you want me to say, Gerard? I don’t…I don’t know what to do either.”
Frank was now on his feet, standing less than a foot from Gerard’s back.
Gerard turned to his small boyfriend, and reached a hand out to touch his hip,
pulling him close. He wrapped his arms around him, holding his head against his
chest.
“Please don’t leave me,” Frank whispered. “You can’t leave me.”
Gerard fought back the tears that threatened to escape his eyes once again.
“I’ll try, Frankie, I’ll try.”
-
Gerard and Frank made their way towards the small cinema hall that was located
in the west wing of the mall. Gerard remembered his father taking him to see
Disney movies with Mikey when they were just kids.
Ray had managed to hook up a DVD player into the system, so they could watch
what they liked on the big screen.
They found Mikey and Ray sitting near the back, pinging freshly made popcorn at
the back of Brian’s head, who was sat near the front.
Gerard slapped the back of Mikey’s head as the sat behind them.
“Dude, leave him alone,” he laughed, taking a handful of the sweet popped corn.
“I’m just playing…he knows I love him really…DON’T YOU BRI?!”
Gerard laughed as Brian flipped them the finger without turning away from the
slasher flick on the screen.
“Where’s dumb and dumber?” Frank asked, looking around.
“Hey, fuck you!” a voice yelled from the doorway.
Gerard turned, grinning at Joel standing behind them.
Benji pushed his way past his brother, punching Gerard playfully on the arm
before making his way to take a seat next to Brian.
“You ok man?” Joel asked, sitting down.
Gerard nodded. “Just…shit, you know?”
Joel nodded. “Yeah. Shit.”
After the movie, Ray and Mikey retreated to the game store, Mikey citing that
he had to kick Ray’s ass again at some racing game that Ray claimed he’d only
won on a technicality.
Brian and the twins walked off in the direction of the Barnes and Noble,
bickering about something or other.
“Just us,” Frank smiled as they reached the art store. He pressed Gerard
against the window slightly, biting softly along his throat.
“Mhhm,” Gerard gulped.
Frank pulled back, a grin on his face, before leading Gerard inside.
He’d finally managed to talk Gerard into at least pulling a mattress into the
store, if he expected Frank to sleep in there with him.
Before Gerard had a chance to say anything, Frank had pushed him onto the
mattress and was climbing on top to straddle his hips.
“Frank-” he was cut off by the smaller boys lips crashing against his own,
sucking his bottom lip in.
He let out a small groan as Frank ground down on him. He almost let himself
push upwards before he stopped himself.
“Frank, wait.”
“No,” he tried to kiss him again, but was stopped by Gerard pushing against his
chest.
“Frank, we’ve been over this.”
“UGH!” Frank groaned, rolling over onto his back next to Gerard.
“What the Hell, Gerard, seriously?” Frank was exasperated.
“Look!” He turned onto his side and reached a hand down to cup the growing lump
that was Gerard’s crotch. “You clearly want me!” He had a small smirk on his
face.
Gerard gave a small moan before pushing Frank’s hand away.
“It’s not…that I don’t want you…” Gerard breathed. “Frank, you’re only
sixteen…”
“Yeah, and you’re only seventeen.”
“I’m-”
“Yeah, I know, almost eighteen. But you’re not yet.” Frank huffed and fell onto
his back. “No offence Gerard, but it’s not like the cops are gonna exactly come
a-knocking on the door if you fuck me.”
“Frank!”
“What? I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, but I so much as touch you and you
freak out! Gerard, this isn’t a normal life we live here…there’s like, less
than a thousand living humans left in the world probably, no one is going to
care if we have sex!”
Gerard placed his arm over his eyes, trying to steady his breathing.
“I mean,” Frank continued. “The legal age is sixteen, so what if I’m a minor…it
doesn’t really count around here, does it?”
Gerard didn’t answer. He took his arm away, turning to look at Frank. He saw
that mischievous look in the younger boys eyes, and watched as he ran a hand
down his own chest, before lingering on the buttons of his pants.
“Gerard,” Frank moaned in a soft voice. “I want to…”
He slipped a hand into his pants, and Gerard could feel his face getting warm
as he watched Frank jack himself inside his pants. He bit his lip, his heart
racing.
He’d always told Frank no, every time. Even on Frank’s sixteenth birthday, and
he tried to give Gerard a blowjob, he’d resisted, leaving the birthday boy in a
mood and jerking off in the bathroom.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to…it was more he was afraid to. They’d been
living in the mall since Gerard was twelve years old! All he knew about sex
(especially gay sex) was what he’d read in books or seen in those porn movies
Ray had found in the music store. Heck, he’d even debated on the idea of
whether or not he really was gay, or if it was just being around no one but
other males that had made him feel that way. But then again, the idea of sex
with a female…well, that didn’t do all that much for him.
“Frank…” he moaned, scrunching his eyes closed. He felt Frank shift closer
against him, the movement of his hand rubbing through the denim of his pants,
against Gerard’s thigh.
“Gee,” Frank moaned, pressing his forehead against Gerard’s shoulder.
Gerard felt his heart racing, blinking hard as he felt Frank’s movements speed
up, rubbing harder off his thigh.
“Frank…” He moaned, his breathing shaky. He looked down at Frank’s face, eyes
closed, biting his lip, gently pressing his face against Gerard’s shoulder.
Before he knew what he was doing, Gerard had shifted, leaning over Frank,
propped up on one elbow. He pressed one leg between Frank’s, pushing up against
his groin.
“Gerard…” Frank panted, looking up at him hovering over him.
Gerard bit his lip, before he gently began rocking against Frank’s thigh,
leaning down to kiss him, hard.
“You…you gonna come for me Frankie?” He panted, breaking away slightly to look
down at the younger boy.
Frank’s eyes were wide, shocked, as he nodded, making a deep moan in his
throat.
Gerard ducked down, sucking on Frank’s neck, still feeling Frank’s hand moving
against his own thigh.
“Gerard…Gerard…” Frank was chanting.
“Uh huh…”
“Fuck…uh…mmm…fuck…”
He felt Frank’s hips buck underneath his as he gave out a small cry. Gerard
pressed his forehead against Frank’s neck, breathing shallowly as he felt the
wetness seep through Frank’s pants to his own.
He rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling.
Frank pulled his hand from his pants, wiping the mess from his hands on the
material.
They lay in silence for a few moments, before Frank turned to look at him.
“Gerard?” He said, his breathing still a little shaky.
Gerard turned his head to look at him, blinking.
“Yeah?”
“You okay?”
Gerard nodded, before staring at the ceiling again. He felt Frank shuffle
closer to him, resting his head against his arm. Gerard lifted his arm to let
the smaller boy move in closer to his chest.
“Thanks,” Frank whispered, closing his eyes.
Gerard nodded. “Yeah.”
---
Frank was sitting on the edge of the rooftop, legs swinging over the concrete
bricks. He sat in silence, watching the zombies below with intent.
How could Gerard find this calming? He thought. It just gave him the creeps.
And he was a creepy guy when he wanted to be, so it took a lot to make him feel
uncomfortable.
He’d been surprised when he came up here this morning to find Gerard wasn’t
here already. When he’d woken up, his boyfriend wasn’t beside him on the shitty
make shift bed on the floor of the art store. Frank hated that damn bed. He
didn’t understand why on Earth Gerard didn’t just drag a sofa bed or futon into
the store. Or even just choose a completely different store altogether. But no,
Gerard had to be surrounded by his favourite colours, and paints and textures.
Frank couldn’t really hold that against him. Up until Bob had…well, left, he’d
been camping out in the music store with Benji and Joel. Sometimes he’d still
crash there, when he couldn’t deal with Gerard’s moods or silences. They were
more frequent now, and it drove him crazy. It wasn’t that he was mad at him or
anything, he just wished the older boy would talk to him for once.
Frank sighed, and lay back, kicking his heels off the wall below, gently.
He knew Gerard was scared, of course he was. They all were. Although Mikey
would never say it, he was fucking terrified. What would they do if Gerard
wasn’t there?
That gave Frank a shiver down his back. No. Gerard couldn’t leave. He couldn’t
go anywhere.
Maybe they’d been wrong. Maybe Bob had been infected in some way they didn’t
know. Okay, so he knew that was probably just wishful thinking, but still, he
couldn’t stand the idea of Gerard becoming one of them.
There was a knot in his stomach that had been there for days, maybe longer, and
it was getting harder to ignore it. He’d been thinking for a while now, about
Gerard’s birthday, but he’d never known how to approach the subject. He was
only sixteen, he shouldn’t be worried about this kind of thing, right? No, he
was pretty sure, in the past, most sixteen year olds only worried about losing
their virginity, whether or not their parents would catch them sneaking out to
a party and that piercing they weren’t supposed to have.
But then again, this wasn’t like the years gone by, was it?
Sometimes, Frank wished they had a normal life. He was pretty sure it was
unusual to actually want to go to high school, but he did. He’d love to be able
to go to the park with his friends, or go skateboarding down a street that
wasn’t an empty part of a mall.
He’d love to be able to walk down the street, holding hands with his boyfriend
on the way to some cheap ass restaurant with bad food but not caring because he
was with Gerard.
Boyfriend. That was always a strange term to Frank.
Yes, Gerard was his boyfriend. They were exclusive, and together. But then
again, they were the only ones in the group that had admitted any feelings for
each other. For a while, Mikey hadn’t been happy about their relationship,
citing that Frank couldn’t possibly know if he was gay or not, since they were
too young to notice girls before they came here. Of course, Frank had known
better.
From the moment that Gerard had dragged him inside the mall by the hand, before
getting to his knees and running his hands over Frank’s and Mikey’s faces,
asking if they were okay, Frank had felt something, something more, as he
clutched a little stuffed rabbit to his chest.
He didn’t care what anyone said, or what anyone thought, but from that moment,
Frank had loved him. He would fucking worship Gerard if he could.
He was everything to Frank, everything.
He leaned up on his elbows, squinting at the morning sun. It was just after
nine in the morning, Gerard should have been up here. He was always up here.
Where the Hell was he?
-
Gerard grunted as he fell over, one leg in the tight blue pants, one sort of
tangled in the material.
He heard a giggle as he lay on his back, cursing.
“Fuck you.” He said, lifting his head to see Mikey standing in the doorway of
the changing cubicle.
“You really oughta learn to close a door, Gee,” his little brother smirked,
reaching out a hand to help him to his feet.
Gerard muttered a few more curses, kicking the pants off his legs as he got to
his feet.
“What are you doing anyway?” Mikey asked, watching him, an amused look on his
face.
“Needed new pants.” He muttered.
Mikey cocked an eyebrow. “You never wear new clothes.”
Gerard scowled at him, and walked out of the changing room towards a rack of
black pants. He picked up a pair, not unlike his old ones and sighed.
“I wanted a change…”
Mikey leaned against a table full of t-shirts. “Since when did you want a
change?”
Gerard looked up at his little brother, a look of resignation on his face.
“I thought…never mind…”
Mikey stood up straight. “No, what?”
Gerard sighed, ripping the tags from the denim pants, before pulling them over
his legs.
“You know what next month is Mikey…”
Mikey crossed his arms, leaning back, and looking the other way.
“Yeah, so?”
“Well,” Gerard said, fighting with the zipper of the pants. “I figure I should
make an effort…for you guys…”
Mikey huffed. “Sure. Whatever.”
Gerard straightened up, running a hand through his hair. “Mikey, we’re gonna
have to talk about it sometime-”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Mikey snapped back, cutting him off.
Gerard sighed and shook his head. “Mikes-”
“Don’t Gerard, okay? You’re fine.”
At that, the younger boy pushed himself up, quickly leaving the store.
For a second, Gerard made to follow him, before stopping. No, it was better to
give him some time, he thought.
-
Frank was lying on his back, legs still dangling over the edge of the building
when Gerard finally showed up.
“Frank?” Gerard said, surprised.
Frank arched his back, leaning back on his head to see Gerard walking towards
him. He waved a hand in the air, before settling back down.
“What are you doing?” Gerard asked, almost amused as he took a space next to
the younger boy.
“Chilling,” Frank breathed, eyes closed.
Gerard had to laugh. “You’re chilling. Up here?”
“What?” Frank opened his eyes, turning his head to look up at Gerard. “You do
it, why can’t I?”
“Because,” Gerard said, shifting so he could join Frank lying down. “You hate
it up here.”
Frank gave an awkward shrug, smiling slightly as Gerard took his hand, turning
his head to face the sky again.
They lay in silence for a few minutes, before Gerard spoke up again.
“I want to do stuff,” he said, breathing deeply, almost a sigh.
“What?” Frank opened one eye, turning slightly to look at him.
“You know…I want to…like…do stuff, have fun.”
Frank looked at him suspiciously. “Stuff.”
Gerard nodded. “I know I haven’t been much fun lately, and I wanna like, you
know, just get back to it.”
“Stuff.” Frank repeated, lifting his free hand to shield his eyes from the sun.
Gerard nodded, letting go of Frank’s hand to sit up.
“I know no one wants to talk about it, but-”
“Gerard, can we not do this now?” Frank sighed, sitting up.
Gerard sighed. “Fine.”
He got to his feet, brushing off the ass of his pants, before turning and
walking back towards the roof door.
“Where are you going?” Frank called, shocked that Gerard was actually leaving
his precious roof top.
“To see Brian.”
---
As uptight as Brian could be at times, Gerard loved the guy. He found him
sitting in the bookstore, an AP English textbook open on the floor in front of
him, notepad in his lap, scribbling notes.
“Workaholic,” Gerard smirked, taking a seat on the floor in front of him.
“Hey Gee,” Brian said, not looking away from his notes.
Gerard sat in silence, watching the boy work for a few minutes before he spoke
up.
“Brian, I need to talk to you.”
Brian stopped his scribbles, closing his eyes for a second. He took a deep
breath, and looked up, his eyes resigned.
“Shoot.” He said in a calm voice.
“No one else will listen to me…” Gerard said, sighing.
“When you talk about changing?”
Gerard nodding, running a hand through his hair. “I just…I didn’t want to talk
about it at first, but it’s getting closer, and I feel like…I should be like…”
He searched for the words inside his head, but Brian finished for him.
“Tying up loose ends?”
Gerard nodded again, staring at his lap. “I just…Mikey won’t accept that it’s
happening…Frank’s just…well, Frank. The twins…I know they’ll be okay, and I
know you and Ray will look out for everyone…”
Brian nodded, setting his note book down on the floor beside him. “I’ll look
after them Gerard, don’t worry about that.”
“I just…I know they’re scared…but why can’t they see how terrified I am?”
Gerard looked up, meeting Brian’s eyes. “I’m so fucking scared Brian, and they
won’t even let me talk about it. I’m going to be dead in a month, and they just
want to ignore it.”
Brian moved his books, and patted the space on the floor beside him. Gerard
blinked a little, before he scooted around to sit next to him, leaning against
the bookshelves behind them.
“I never did tell you how I ended up here, did I?” Brian said, closing his eyes
and resting his head on the shelves.
Gerard shook his head, turning to look at him.
“My parents went first. We were on our way home from New York, and they just
started throwing up.” Brian sighed, almost shivering at the memory. “We pulled
into the lay by, and…I just remember my mom, and all this blood. It was coming
from her fucking eyes, it was horrible…Shelley just pulled me away, trying to
stop me seeing them die.”
“Shelley?” Gerard questioned.
Brian nodded. “My sister. She was seventeen. I don’t think she knew what was
going on, but she just…she knew she had to get me out of there. She pushed me
into the back seat and just drove. We just left our parents there, out on the
road, blood everywhere…”
Gerard nodded. He knew what that was like, leaving your parents behind,
infected and dead.
“We got to our grandparents house, and barricaded ourselves in the attic. We
had no idea what was going on…then Shelley started to turn.”
Gerard’s head shoot around to look at Brian, eyes still closed.
“We’d been in New York as an early birthday present. She turned eighteen when a
few days later.”
Gerard blinked. “You knew…you knew about the age thing…”
Brian sighed. “I didn’t know anything Gerard…when Bob…when it happened with
Bob, then I knew…I’d hoped I was wrong, but…”
Gerard stared back at his hands in his lap.
“I couldn’t do it either, you know,” Brian said, rolling his head to look at
Gerard.
“Do what?”
“Kill her. Like you couldn’t kill Bob. I couldn’t do it. She’d begged me to,
said she didn’t want to be like those zombies we saw on the streets, but I
couldn’t do it. I left her in the attic, and just ran. Then I ended up here.”
Gerard reached out and patted Brian’s knee. “I’m sorry, man.”
Brian shook his head. “Don’t be. I’m just…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner…I
wanted…I wanted to believe that maybe she’d been infected some other way, you
know? Like…I didn’t want to believe that we’re all going to end up like that.”
Gerard paused for a second. Brian was right. No matter what happened, they
would all eventually end up mindless Lacidites, bumping into one another and
starving for human entrails.
“When I go…” Gerard said quietly. “Don’t let them do anything stupid, okay?”
Brian nodded, and patted Gerard’s hand. “On my own life.”
-
Frank tried to steady his breathing as he walked quickly, and quietly from the
bookstore. He didn’t want Gerard to know he’d been listening in on his
conversation with Brian.
It wasn’t that Frank liked to listen in on his boyfriend’s conversations, but
he couldn’t help it.
And now he wished he hadn’t.
Brian’s sister. Bob. And now Gerard. All eighteen years old when they changed.
To the day.
Shit, Frank thought. This is real. This is fucking real.
---
Benji and Joel were wrestling on the floor of the food court when Gerard and
Brian made their way over. Mikey and Ray were sat beside the fountain, egging
the twins on, each shouting for one to beat the other.
Frank was sitting at a table just away from the Burger King counter, playing
with the straw of his drink, staring at the table top.
Brian nudged Gerard’s side, and nodded in Frank’s direction. Gerard bit his lip
and nodded, before waving to Ray and Mikey. Ray grinned back, before he
continued to yell for Benji to ‘stop being such a wussy!’. Mikey stared back,
blankly, before he cheered when Joel had Benji pinned to the ground.
“Hey,” Gerard said, sliding into a seat in front of Frank.
“Hey,” Frank said, not looking up.
“You uh, wanna get out of here for a bit?”
Frank looked up at Gerard, his eyes sad. “Huh?”
“I dunno…lets go see a movie or something.” Gerard smiled, offering out his
hand.
Frank stared at it for a few seconds, before he nodded, slipping his hand into
Gerard’s.
Joel pulled off his brother for a few seconds to wolf whistle in the two boys’
direction, before he grunted when Benji grabbed him around the middle,
wrestling him down to the ground.
-
As they sat in the back row, Gerard tossed a bag of Twizzlers into Frank’s lap,
smiling at the smaller boy, before he put his arms around his shoulders. A few
minutes into the Disney movie they’d put into the player, Gerard turned to look
at Frank, and felt his stomach twist when he noticed the tears sliding down his
cheeks.
“Frankie?” Gerard asked, leaning forward to touch Frank’s cheek. “Hey, what’s
wrong?”
Frank closed his eyes and shook his head as Gerard brought his face around to
look at him.
“Baby…” Gerard soothed, bringing both his hands up to cup his face. “Tell me…”
“You’re dying,” Frank finally said as a sob escaped his chest. “And I can’t do
anything to save you…”
Gerard gave a small gulp. Well, he had wanted to talk about it, hadn’t he?
“Frankie,” Gerard breathed, pulling the smaller boy into his lap. “Hey, it’s
okay,” he soothed, as Frank wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his
face in his shoulder.
“No it’s not,” Frank sobbed. “You’re leaving…you’re going away, and I can’t do
anything to stop it…”
Gerard leaned into Frank’s arms, tightening his hold around the boy on his lap.
No. There was nothing he could do about it. Nothing anyone could do about it.
“I’m sorry, Frankie…”
“I can’t live without you Gerard…I can’t…” Frank pulled his head away to look
at Gerard, his cheeks stained with tears, eyes red and swelling.
“Frank…I’m…” Gerard shook his head, fighting back his own tears. There was
nothing he could do.
“You saved my life…” Frank said quietly, pressing his forehead against
Gerard’s. “You saved me…”
Gerard screwed his eyes shut, trying to block out the look on Frank’s face as
he’d driven that knife into the back of Frank’s mother’s head.
“You think I hate you…for killing her…” Frank said, shifting to sit on Gerard,
legs spread, one of each side of Gerard’s thighs. “But I don’t…she was already
gone…you saved my life…”
Gerard shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t…you’re the most important thing in my life…I can’t…I don’t know what to
do, Gee…”
Gerard opened his eyes, meeting Frank’s, staring back. He brought a hand up to
stroke away a strand of hair, tucking it behind Frank’s ear. He gave a small,
watery smile, before he leaned up, so chastely, to press a kiss to Frank’s
lips.
He stayed there for a second, just allowing himself a small, innocent kiss,
before he let his lips part, moving, sliding his tongue into Frank’s mouth.
Frank closed his eyes, parting his lips, letting his tongue slide against
Gerard’s, running his hands up, into Gerard’s hair.
They kissed for a few minutes, before Gerard realised he was pushing up against
Frank, suddenly hard against the restriction of his pants. Frank gave a small
moan, pushing down against him.
Gerard pulled away from the kiss, staring into Frank’s eyes, wide.
“Gerard…” Frank whined, just knowing Gerard was about to rain check on him, as
usual.
Gerard bit his lip, the building feeling in his stomach almost too much. He
pushed Frank off to stand up, before crushing his lips against the younger
boy’s once again, pressing himself hard against him, rocking their hips
together, against the back of the chair in front.
“Gee…” Frank moaned into the kiss, hands in the older boys hair once again,
tugging slightly.
“C’mere,” Gerard panted, pulling away, and grabbing Frank’s hand.
He pulled him along the row of seats, to behind the chairs, the space between
the back row and the wall. He pushed Frank against the wall, kissing him hard,
hand reaching down to palm through Frank’s denims. Frank whined, and bucked his
hips forward.
Gerard grinned, his heart beating fast in his chest.
Okay, so this was new, he thought to himself, as he suddenly found himself
pulling at Frank’s pants.
Frank pushed him back, down to the floor, climbing on top of him, and locking
their lips together once more. Straddling Gerard’s hips, Frank rocked himself
down, building the friction between the two boys.
“Frank…” Gerard whined, returning his hands to Frank’s belt, tugging at the
buttons of his denims clumsily.
“Yeah?” Frank panted, pulling his face away, his lips red and swollen.
“What…what are we doing?”
Frank blinked at him, his eyes still wet and red. “Huh?”
Gerard shifted a little to lean on his elbows. “What…what are we…uh…”
“Gee, you’re the one that-”
Gerard cut the smaller boy off with a kiss. “No…I mean, how…how far…are we…”
“Oh!” Frank almost giggled. “Uh…I was just…like…going with it…”
Gerard bit his lip, staring up into Frank’s chestnut eyes. He gave a small nod,
before he brought Frank’s face down to kiss him once more.
Gerard finally managed to fight his way passed Frank’s impossible belt and
buttons, and almost felt himself freeze as his fingers grazed over the small
mound of hair as he slipped one hand passed the material of Frank’s boxer
shorts.
Frank gave a small gasp, before a moan, when he felt Gerard’s hand slowly wrap
around him. He began to thrust awkwardly into Gerard’s tight grip, moaning into
Gerard’s mouth.
Gerard gave a small giggle, against his will, as he felt Frank fumbling with
his new pants, tugging at them awkwardly, still trying to keep up some kind of
thrusting rhythm.
“What?” Frank panted, pulling his mouth away.
Gerard just shook his head, smiling, and lifted his hips slightly to allow
Frank to tug his pants down a little easier.
Frank grunted in appreciation, before quickly grabbing a hold on Gerard’s cock,
causing the older boy to jerk his hips slightly.
“Fuck…” Gerard breathed, before Frank’s mouth was on his once more.
Gerard ran a hand up into Frank’s hair, pulling his head away to look at his
face.
“What?” Frank panted, pausing his hip movements, staring down at Gerard.
“I just…I wanna watch you.” Gerard felt a blush creep across his face.
“What?” Frank repeated, blinking rapidly.
Gerard bit his lip, and started to stroke his hand slowly, up and down Frank’s
cock. Frank gave a small moan, and shivered, trying to let his head fall
forward, but Gerard wouldn’t let go, holding Frank’s head up, eyes locked on
Frank’s face.
“Gerard…” Frank whined.
“Shh…” Gerard smiled, rubbing his thumb against Frank’s scalp. “Just let me do
this…”
Frank tried to nod, letting go of his hold on Gerard’s dick, placing his two
hands on either side of Gerard’s head, trying to hold himself up as Gerard
pumped his cock, building up speed.
“Fuck…” Frank breathed, his hips shaking. “Gee…oh my…fuck
This was new. This was very new, Gerard thought. He couldn’t keep his eyes off
Frank’s face. He wanted to memorise this, hold onto this moment as long as he
could. He wanted to hold onto every first time, every first time doing anything
with Frank. He wanted Frank’s face, the very image of it, burned into his
memory. Something to hold onto. Something he couldn’t let himself ever forget.
“Gerard….Gerard…” Frank was practically chanting his name, dragging him from
his thoughts. He grinned up at the boy on top of him, practically writhing in
his hands.
“Yeah…I’m right here baby…” Gerard let his hand slip down to grasp the side of
Frank’s neck, stroking the sweating skin.
“Gerard…I…I’m gonna…I…” Frank couldn’t finish his sentence. Gerard started to
stroke harder, and faster, tightening his grip, watching as Frank screwed up
his face, before it seemed like all the smaller boy’s muscles seemed to relax
all at once, his mouth shaping like a ‘O’, as he came in Gerard’s grip, all
over his ridden up t-shirt and stomach. After a few seconds, Frank was slipping
out of Gerard’s grasp, collapsing on his chest, breathing deeply.
Gerard stared up at the ceiling, stroking Frank’s hair as he panted against his
chest.
After a few minutes, Gerard felt Frank stir, and slide down his body.
“Frank…what are…Frank?” He tried to sit up, but with one swift motion, Frank
was pressing a hand to Gerard’s chest, pushing him back, and taking Gerard’s
half hard cock in his mouth.
Gerard tried to speak, but it came out more of a garble, as the new sensation
seemed to take over his body. He could feel Frank’s teeth slide against the
skin, his tongue slipping over the head of his cock each time he almost, but
didn’t, pull off.
Without realising it, Gerard had wrapped his fingers in Frank’s hair, and was
thrusting his hips slightly, up into Frank’s mouth.
“Fuck…fuck…fuck…” Gerard chanted, as Frank hollowed out his cheeks, sucking as
hard as he could.
It was a few minutes before Gerard was coming down Frank’s throat without
warning, a silent cry on his lips. He heard Frank make a small choking sound,
but didn’t have the ability or control to look up as he arched his back.
After a few breathless seconds, Gerard managed to look up, to see Frank sitting
between his legs, wiping at his mouth, an unreadable look upon his face.
“Are you okay?” Gerard asked, breathing shallowly.
Frank blinked at him, before he pulled his hand away from his face, smiling a
cheeky grin, before he crawled back up to straddle Gerard once more, ignoring
the cringe Gerard gave when the denim of his pants rubbed against his bare
skin.
Ducking his head and planting a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips, Frank whispered,
“I’m good.”
---
Gerard was lying on the futon Mikey had set up in front of the large screen in
the games store, his younger brother on the floor in front of him, eyes trained
on the soldiers on the screen.
“Frank said you had sex.”
Gerard choked on his air, dropping the Darren Shan novel in his hands.
“What?!”
Mikey shrugged, not taking his eyes off the screen. “He said you guys had sex.”
Gerard stared at the back of his brother’s head, mouth gaping.
“I…we never…sorta…why would he even tell you that?!”
Mikey sighed and paused his game, turning to look at Gerard.
“Gee, he is my best friend. Just ‘cause he’s your boyfriend, doesn’t mean he
doesn’t still talk to me.”
Gerard stared at him, wide eyed. What? Why would Frank even do that?!
“We didn’t…I never…uh…” He sat up straight, pulling at the neck of his shirt.
“It wasn’t full sex…” He could feel a blush creeping over his face.
It had been almost a week since the incident in the cinema hall, and Gerard
couldn’t believe it that Frank’ had actually told his little brother.
“Gerard, I don’t really care what you and Frank get up to,” Mikey said,
sniffing, and pushing his glasses up on his nose. “Just don’t hurt him, okay?”
Gerard blinked as Mikey turned his eyes back to the screen.
“What?” He asked.
Mikey sighed, picking up the control once more. “I know you, Gee. I know what
you’re like. You’re all happy now, and playing along with us, but soon enough,
you’re just going to turn your back on him, thinking you’re doing the right
thing, when all you’re doing is making the situation worse.”
Gerard stared at the back of Mikey’s head for a few seconds, before shaking his
head.
“What the fuck Mikey?!”
Mikey dropped the control again, and turned to look at Gerard again. “Gee, you
know I’m right.”
Gerard crossed his arms. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about.”
“I have nothing to talk to you about. Frank, on the other hand…” The younger
boy shook his head. “He’s scared, okay? And I know you’re only pretending to be
all happy and loved up right now. In two weeks time, you’re going to do you’re
whole loner thing and break his heart, and then I’ll have to kick your ass.”
Gerard shook his head. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Getting to his
feet, he slapped the back of Mikey’s head, making his way to the door.
Stopping, he turned slightly.
“Mikes?”
“Hmm?” Mikey responded, eyes back on the screen.
“Are you scared?”
Mikey blinked a few times, and stayed silent. Gerard sighed, and just as he was
leaving, he could have sworn he heard his little brother mutter, “Fucking
terrified.”
---
The rooftop. Always the God damn rooftop, Frank thought bitterly as he made his
way slowly up the metal stairway. He’d tried, he really had, to get used to it,
but he couldn’t. It was too unnerving, watching those bodies just bounce off
one another.
He’d been trying to spend more time with Gerard, as much as he could, in fact,
but he really fucking hated that rooftop.
Yet here he was again, walking up these rusting steps, out into the blinding
sunlight.
He could see the dark shape of Gerard, lying on his back, legs dangling over
the sides, like always. He was so predictable.
Silently, Frank made his way over to the edge, lying down beside his boyfriend,
mimicking his pose.
They were silent for a few minutes before Gerard spoke up.
“Mikey says you’re scared.”
Frank took a deep breath, eyes closed. “Yeah?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Mikey talks too much.”
Gerard made a laughing sound in his throat. He slid his hand along the small
space between the two of them, wrapping his fingers around Frank’s wrist,
stroking the tattooed stitches.
“It’s okay, you know. We can talk about it.”
Frank was silent, his breathing shallow. Gerard could feel he was shaking, ever
so slightly.
“Okay.” Came a small reply.
Gerard nodded, turning his head to watch Frank.
The younger boy took a deep breath, eyes still closed, before he continued to
speak.
“I’m terrified. You’re leaving me. All of us. And I don’t know what to do. I
have less than three weeks left with you, and…I don’t know what to do.”
Gerard watched as a tear rolled down the side of his face.
“I know, I’m being selfish, because Mikey’s your brother, and everyone else
cares about you…but I don’t know what to do, Gee. I don‘t know what to say”
Frank turned his head, opening his eyes, blinking away the tears now sliding
freely down his face.
“I mean,” he continued. “Aren’t you scared?”
Gerard shuffled closer a little, pressing his lips to Frank’s shoulder, before
looking up at him, sighing.
“I’m terrified. All I’ve wanted to do is talk about it, and no one would let
me.”
“Brian let you.”
Gerard blinked at Frank.
“What?”
Frank sighed, pulling his arm from Gerard’s grasp, sitting up, rubbing at his
eyes.
“I heard you, talking to Brian. About his sister.”
Gerard sat up, crossing his legs, leaning his elbows on his knees.
“We’re just scared, Gerard,” Frank said, staring down at the moving bodies on
the ground. “We don’t know what to do. YOU’RE the one that we all turn to, what
are we gonna do without you? Mikey…he’s in denial. He won’t admit that you’re
leaving. That you’re gonna…change.”
Gerard sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.
“Frank, I-”
“And I know what you’re gonna do, Gee,” Frank cut him off. “You’re gonna try
and push me away, tell me you don’t want me, try to desensitise me, because you
think it’s for the best.”
“That’s what Mikey said,” Gerard gave a small laugh.
“Well, it’s true. It’s the kind of thing you’d do, if you thought it was for
the best.”
“Isn’t it?”
Frank looked up at Gerard, his eyes sparkling, and shook his head slightly.
“No. It would just make it hurt more.”
Gerard blinked, and gave a small nod, staring out at horizon. “I won’t do it
then.”
Frank gave a small, sad laugh. “Thanks.”
They were silent for a while, staring out at the skyline as the sun began to
set.
Frank gave a shiver as he watched a small boy clawed at the wall below them.
“So young.” Gerard remarked, staring down.
Frank sniffed. “Yeah.”
“I wonder what it’s like.”
Frank looked up at him. “What?”
Gerard shrugged. “I wonder if they can think, you know? Like…are you still in
there? Like…I dunno…”
“Like a coma?” Frank offered, shuffling a little closer, so that their thighs
were touching.
Gerard nodded. “Like…you can hear and see everything, but you can’t stop
yourself from doing what you’re doing.”
Frank gave a small giggled, and rested his head on Gerard’s shoulder. “Like
when you’re drunk.”
“Yeah!” Gerard smiled. Why was he smiling?
Frank sighed. “If that’s true…if like, you’re still in there, somewhere…does
that mean you can be saved?”
“How d’ya mean?”
Frank slid his hand to link with Gerard’s fingers. “Like…when you change…just
say…say someone did find a cure. Does that mean you could come back?”
Gerard thought about that for a moment. He’d never considered that possibility.
He’d just resigned himself to the fact he was about to become a Lacidite and
that was it. If he was still ‘in there somewhere’, then he would be there until
someone eventually came and shot him in the head.
But saved? Really? He didn’t really think so. Not really. If there was a cure,
wouldn’t it have been found by now? After all these years, he really didn’t
think there would ever be a cure. This was a never ending cycle, and one by
one, everyone would turn. The human race was dying out, one zombie at a time.
He gave a shrug, and squeezed Frank’s hand.
“Sure,” he lied.
---
Gerard ducked as the Xbox controller went flying past his head.
“YOU DICKHEAD!” Mikey screamed, reaching for another.
“Woah! Mikey! Calm the fuck down dude!” Ray was saying, a panicked tone in his
voice, as he stood behind Mikey, his arms outstretched but not quiet touching
the younger boy.
“WHAT DID I DO NOW?” Gerard yelled, throwing himself against a statue of Link
as another controller missed his head by an inch.
Frank appeared at the doorway, alongside the twins, eyes wide.
“What the He-” Benji began, but never managed to finish as a guide book to
Bioshock collided with the side of his head.
“Hey!” Joel yelled, stepping in front of his brother. “What the fuck Mikey?!”
“HE PACKED HIS STUFF AWAY!” Mikey screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Gerard gave a sigh, quickly turning to meet Frank’s eyes, before turning back
to his hysterical brother.
“Mikey, I just-”
“NO! You didn’t ‘just’ do anything!”
Ray was stepping up closer behind Mikey now, putting his hands on his back.
“Mikey, calm-”
“NO!” He yelled, shrugging off Ray’s hands. “How can you all just…just…deal
with it?!”
Everyone was silent, staring at their own feet. Brian appeared behind Benji, a
confused look on his face.
“What’s going on?” He asked, looking from Gerard to Mikey.
“He’s packed his stuff away,” Mikey sobbed.
“I know, I helped him.”
Everyone’s eyes turned to Brian, as he shrugged. “What?”
“You…you what?” Mikey asked, rubbing at his eyes, under the glasses he’d been
wearing for years.
“Mikey,” Gerard began, stepping away from the statue he was pressed against.
“It’s only a week away, I just wanted-”
“What? What Gerard?” Mikey sniffed, wiping at his nose. “You wanted to be
prepared?”
Gerard nodded, eyes on his brother’s face.
“YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!” Mikey yelled again, hands now balled into fists at
his sides.
“YES I AM MIKEY!”
Gerard almost cringed at the sound of his own voice raised. The look on Mikey’s
face cracked his heart.
He was leaving. He was going away, and no matter how hopeful Frank was about a
cure, he wasn’t coming back. He was leaving them all alone. Leaving Mikey. All
alone.
“Why don’t you just go now, then?” Mikey sniffed, venom in his voice. “You
spend enough fucking time with those God damn zombies, you may as well!”
At that, the younger Way turned, and marched through to the back of the games
store. Ray stared at Gerard, his eyes looking for guidance. Gerard put his
hands to his face, rubbing at his eyes.
Frank stared at Ray, and nodded, before Ray turned and followed after Mikey.
“You okay?” Joel was saying, one hand on his brother’s back as Benji rubbed at
the side of his head.
“I told you fucking hated books,” Benji grumbled, before the two Maddens walked
in the direction of the Starbucks.
There was silence as Brian, Frank and Gerard stood near the doorway to the
games store.
“You okay Gee?” Frank asked finally, his voice a little shaky.
Gerard didn’t answer, still rubbing at his eyes.
“Uh, Frank?” Brian said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you go with
the twins? I, uh, gotta talk to Gee.”
Frank looked like he was about to refuse, before he sighed, and left.
Brian stared after the smaller boy, before he turned back to Gerard, now
staring at the ceiling, sniffing loudly.
“Gerard, it’s o-”
“It’s not okay Brian, it’s not.” He gave a sarcastic laugh. “I’ve tried. I’ve
tried to talk to him, I wanted to prepare him, but he wouldn’t fucking let me!”
“Hey, hey,” Brian said, quickly walking to Gerard’s side, putting an arm around
the older boy’s shoulders. “He’s just scared, Gee.”
“And I’m not? Bri, I have a fucking week to live.”
Brian nodded, and squeezed Gerard’s shoulder. “I know, Gee, I know…he just…he’s
in denial.”
“I don’t know what else to do Brian…he won’t let me talk to him about it.”
Brian bit his lip, watching as Gerard tried to compose his face, fighting off
the tears trying to break through.
“I tried to talk to him last week, and he started talking about fucking Naruto
- he doesn’t even like fucking manga!”
Brian gave a small laugh. “Yeah, sounds like Mikey.”
Gerard straightened up, stepping back from Brian and running a hand through his
hair.
“I’m gonna be gone in seven days, and he won’t accept it.”
Brian shook his head. “He will Gee, eventually.”
---
Frank was sitting in the empty space in the centre of the art store. It seemed
much colder, now that there was no smelly, slept in blankets, no pillows
stained in hair dye. Even the paint brushes and pens that Gerard always kept
lying around were packed neatly on their shelves.
He didn’t like it this tidy. It just didn’t feel right.
“Hey.”
Frank looked up at the voice. He saw Gerard standing in the doorway, hands
stuffed into his pockets, watching him.
“Hey.” Frank replied timidly.
“C’mere,” Gerard smiled, reaching out a hand. “I’ve got something to show you.”
Frank eyed him suspiciously, before getting to his feet, taking Gerard’s hand.
“What is it?” He asked as Gerard led him through the empty mall.
“It’s a surprise,” Gerard grinned, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his
cheek.
Woah, Frank thought. Since when was Gerard THIS affectionate?
They walked in silence for a few minutes before they stopped in front of the
tattoo store.
“Uh, Gee?” Frank said, raising an eyebrow. “You hate needles, why are we-”
“This is your favourite store, right?” Gerard cut him off.
Frank gave a small nod.
“Okay then.”
Gerard tugged on his hand, leading him forward into the store.
“Gerard, what’s going on?” Frank whined as Gerard pulled him through the
darkened shop towards the back, to the room where Frank had done his own
tattoo.
“You’ll see,” the older boy just grinned.
When they entered the back room, Frank froze, just over the threshold.
The room was lit by candles and nothing else. There was incense burning, the
scent wafting through the air so delicately. In the centre of the small room,
taking up almost the entire floor space, there was a large mattress, wrapped in
black sheets, red satin cushions placed at the head.
“Gerard…” Frank breathed. “Did…did you do this?”
Gerard grinned, twisting his body to lean into Frank’s shoulder. “Just for
you.”
Frank took a deep breath. He knew what this was about. He knew what was
happening.
Was he ready?
“Frankie?” Gerard asked against his shoulder.
“Hmm?” Frank managed, his voice not wanting to work
Gerard pulled away slightly, looking at him. “Frank…are you okay?”
Frank nodded, before he shook his head, lifting a hand to his face to pinch the
bridge of his nose.
“This is too final,” he finally said in a small voice, before he looked at
Gerard.
“Oh.” The older boy said, his face crest fallen. “I just…I thought I’d try
and…I just wanted to make it…special, or something…” He rubbed at the back of
his neck, his eyes on the floor. “Sorry…I shouldn’t have…sorry…”
Frank looked back to the mattress, his stomach knotting, his heart pounding. He
turned back to Gerard, cupping his face, lifting it to meet his eyes.
“It’s amazing,” he smiled sadly. “Really. It’s beautiful.”
Gerard gave him a small smile. “I just thought…you’d wanna…I don’t have much…”
He couldn’t finish his sentences.
Frank smiled, fighting the burning sensation threatening the back of his
eyelids, and nodded. “I do, I really do.”
Gerard stared into his eyes, before he slowly leaned in, pressing his lips
against Frank’s, slowly running his hands up into his hair.
He could feel Frank shaking under his touch, pressing his quivering body closer
against Gerard’s.
Gerard pulled off slightly, breathing against Frank’s lips. “We don’t have to
do this. If you don’t want to, we don’t-”
“I do want to. I just…” Frank closed his eyes, searching for the words, trying
to calm his shaking. “I’m just…scared.”
Gerard gave a small smile, pecking a quick kiss on Frank’s lips, and leading
him towards the mattress. He fell down a little clumsily, pulling Frank down on
top of him.
“Frank Iero, scared. Whatever next?” He teased, pulling Frank down to kiss him
again.
“Not of this,” Frank said, fighting off Gerard’s mouth. “Of losing another
one.”
Gerard paused his nipping at Frank’s lips to look up at him. “Another one?”
Frank sighed, resting his forehead against Gerard’s. “Another person I love.”
Gerard felt his stomach knot up. “Your mom.”
Frank gave a tiny nod. “I just…I’m losing you, and I can’t stop it.”
He buried his face in Gerard’s neck, softly sucking at the pale skin.
“I’m sorry,” Gerard whispered, running his hands through Frank’s hair. “I never
wanted to hurt you, Frankie…”
He felt Frank give a small sigh against his neck, before he looked up at him, a
sad smile on his face.
“It’s worth it though, right?” Frank said, chewing on his lip.
“What?”
“The hurt. It’s all worth it.”
“Is it?”
Frank blinked, and gave a nod. “I got to have you, at least for a little
while.”
That pretty much done it for Gerard, as he found himself kissing hungrily at
Frank’s mouth, hands running down the younger boy’s back, resting on the back
of his hip, pulling him down closer. He rocked his hips up, slowing down the
kiss, occasionally catching Frank’s bottom lip between his teeth.
“I wanna…” Frank was breathing against his mouth, as he rocked his hips down
against Gerard’s, burning sensation in his groin almost unbearable. “I wanna…be
on the bottom…I wanna…”
Gerard pulled his head back to look up at Frank, panting slightly. “You sure?”
Frank nodded, still grinding down, almost as though he were in a trance.
Gerard blinked slightly. “Right. Okay. Right.”
He wrapped his arms around Frank’s waist, twisting them around, pushing Frank
on his back.
Frank whined, and made grabbing hands at Gerard as he sat back.
“Hey,” Gerard smiled, pulling one of Frank’s hands to his mouth, and pressing a
kiss to his fingertips. “We won’t get very far with all this on,” he motioned
to his shirt and pants.
Frank looked at him for a second, before he slowly began to pull his shirt over
his head. Gerard pulled his own shirt off in one full swoop, before he began
pulling at the button of his pants.
It only took a few seconds, before Gerard was down to his jersey shorts, and
looking at Frank, slowly tugging off the last leg of his pants.
“Gee?” Frank asked, not meeting his eyes as he shoved the ripped denims aside.
“Yeah Frankie?”
“Can we…can we take this slow?”
Gerard looked down at him, and gave a small nod, slowly pressing himself
between Frank’s legs, pressing small, innocent kisses along his jaw, pushing
him flat on the mattress.
He moved his hips in a circular motion, he could feel Frank’s erection pushing
up at him through the black cotton shorts with the little skulls that Gerard
had picked out for him at Christmas.
Frank was moaning under him, hands running through Gerard’s hair, hip jerking
slightly.
“Can I?” Gerard breathed, one hand toying with the elastic of Frank’s
waistband.
Frank gave a small groan that Gerard took for a ‘fuck yes’ and slid his hand
into Frank’s shorts, down the inside of his thigh, stroking the soft skin
slightly, before he let his hand wander up to cup Frank’s balls gently. He gave
a little grin when Frank jerked violently at the touch, and squeezed, ever so
softly, before he wrapped his hand around Frank’s cock, stroking slightly.
“Aw, God…” Frank moaned, throwing an arm over his face.
Gerard smiled, and leaned forward, kissing his arm, before he pulled his hand
away, and pulled Frank’s shorts down.
Frank threw his arm back, eyes wide as Gerard peeled off the last piece of
clothing on his body. He was completely naked, for the first time in front of
Gerard.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Gerard smiled, awkwardly pulling at his own
shorts. He felt a blush creep over his face and down his neck as Frank’s eyes
fell on his own hard cock.
“Do you, uh,” Frank said, eyes still on Gerard, licking his lips unconsciously.
“You got, uh…”
“Yeah,” Gerard said, reaching to the side of the mattress. He lift up a small
blue bottle, and a little square box.
“I don’t want them,” Frank said suddenly, sitting up, and pushing the box of
condoms from Gerard’s hand.
“Frank, I- what?” Gerard asked confused, staring at the discarded box on the
floor.
Frank wrapped his arms around his neck, and pulled him down.
“I want to feel you, not…not some rubber lining, okay?” He said shakily,
kissing Gerard’s jaw line. “I just…you’re my first, and only…I want to feel
you.”
“Are you sure?” Gerard breathed.
Frank nodded. “I want this. I want…I want to remember this forever, okay?”
Gerard bit his lip and nodded. “Okay. Okay.”
He leaned back up on his calves, popping the cap of the little blue bottle,
pouring some of the liquid over his fingers.
“Uhm…” he looked down at Frank, staring back up at him.
Frank gave him a small nod, to his unasked question, before pulling a pillow
from above his head down, raising his hips and pushing it under them.
Gerard gave a small smile, and scooted forward a little, bending down to press
a little kiss to the tip of Frank’s cock. Frank gave a small whine, which made
Gerard giggle, before he slipped his hand down under Frank’s thighs, pressing
at his small hole.
Frank made a hissing whine as Gerard slowly forced one finger inside him.
“You okay?” Gerard whispered, leaning over him, pressing kisses to his
forehead.
Frank nodded, and Gerard began to move his finger in and out, slowly, bending
it slightly every now and then. After a minute or so, he pulled out, and
replaced it with two fingers, pushing his lips against Frank as he left out a
loud hiss.
“It’s okay,” Gerard soothed, running his tongue along Frank’s bottom lip. “If
you want me to stop-”
“Don’t stop,” Frank said, voice shaky, arms around Gerard’s neck. “It’s
good…it’s a good hurt…”
Gerard bit his lip, and nodded, pushing two fingers in and out of Frank slowly,
curling here and there.
“Gerard,” Frank said, pushing down against Gerard’s finger. “I just…I
want…fuck…just…I want you…please…”
Gerard sucked in a breath, and nodded again, kissing Frank one more time before
he pulled his fingers free, and picked up the little blue bottle and poured
more lube onto his hand, slathering it up and down his dick.
He leaned over Frank, holding himself up with one arm, and lined himself up
with Frank still tight hole.
“Gee?” Frank said, his voice barely audible.
Gerard looked up, almost losing his breath at the sight of Frank lying there,
staring up at him, breathless, and just, there.
“Yeah, Frankie?”
“I love you.”
At that, Gerard began to push himself slowly inside Frank, pressing their
foreheads together, Frank hissing in a sharp breath, Gerard trying so damn hard
not to moan.
Once he’d pushed himself down to his base, he paused, opening his eyes and
looking down at Frank, breathing shallowly below him.
“Frankie? You okay?”
Frank didn’t open his mouth, but nodded, and pushed down against him, ever so
slightly.
Gerard took a deep breath, before he started to move, slowly at first, little
soft, gentle thrusts, one hand holding him up, the other stroking Frank’s hair.
“You’re so beautiful,” Gerard whispered. “So fucking beautiful.”
Frank smiled, and arched up below him, pushing their mouths together.
“You can…can go faster…”
Gerard nodded, and slowly began to speed up his thrusts, a little faster, a
little harder.
“Aw…fuck…Gee…uh…” Frank moaned, fingers tangling in Gerard’s hair, pushing down
against Gerard’s thrusts. “Yeah…yeah…”
Gerard bit his lip, groaning loudly. “Fuck,” he hissed, dropping his head down.
“Frank…”
Frank let out a small giggle, before he moaned, pushing his hips down sharply.
“Fuck…do…do that again…”
“Huh?” Gerard looked at him, confused, feeling the sweat drip down the sides of
his face. He thrust his hips hard, making Frank jerk again.
“AW GOD,” Frank yelled, hands flying above his head to grasp at the sheets.
“There?” Gerard panted, moving as fast as he possible could.
Frank didn’t answer, not really - he was too busy cursing God, and yelling,
“fuck, fuck, fuck…”
Gerard grinned, and leaned his forehead against Frank’s shoulder, feeling that
familiar, yet so strangely unfamiliar feeling building up, just below his
pelvis.
“Frank?” He whispered, lips against Frank’s ear.
“Yeah?” Frank’s reply was raspy.
“I love you too.”
Gerard felt Frank freeze beneath him, and pulled up, to look down at him.
“Gee?” Frank whispered, a hand reaching up to cradle Gerard’s cheek.
“I love you, so fucking much,” Gerard breathed, still thrusting into Frank,
jerking slightly.
Frank squeezed his eyes shut, still pushing down against Gerard, attempting to
block out the tear sliding down his flushed cheek.
Gerard leaned down, kissing away the lone tear. “I always have, and I always
will.”
“Gerard…Gerard…” Frank was practically chanting his name.
“Come on, baby,” Gerard smiled, pounding into Frank as fast as he could. “Come
on baby…”
“Gerard…I…I…” Frank never finished his sentence, spilling out over his own
stomach, against Gerard’s.
“Oh fuck,” Gerard moaned, before he was following through, coming inside Frank
with one last thrust.
He fell down against Frank’s chest, panting, breathless, pretty sure he was
seeing spots behind his eyelids.
“Frank?” Gerard said after minutes of silence.
“Yeah Gee?” Frank breathed.
“Will you be mine? Forever?”
Frank pushed Gerard up slightly, so their noses were touching, Gerard leaning
down over him.
“What?”
Gerard closed his eyes. “Stay true to me. Just mine. Until we’re together
again.”
Frank ran his thumbs across Gerard’s cheeks, and nodded.
“Forever.”
---
Mikey was sitting on the roof top, legs dangling over the edge, staring down at
the mindless humans, walking in no ordered procession.
“Mikey?” Gerard asked, cocking his head in confusion.
Mikey turned to look at him, eyes red and swollen beneath glasses that were
probably not strong enough for him anymore.
“Hey,” Gerard said, sliding down to sit next to him little brother, putting an
arm around him.
“I don’t want you to die,” Mikey said shakily, his chest heaving slightly.
Gerard sighed, and leaned his head against Mikey’s. “I know, Mikes, I know…”
“I don’t…I don’t want to talk about it,” Mikey sniffed, and rubbed at his nose.
“But…I don’t want you…I don’t want you to go…and hate me…”
“I could never hate you, kid,” Gerard smiled, pressing a kiss to his little
brothers beanie covered head.
Mikey gave a little nod. “I just…I don’t know what to do without you…I didn’t…I
didn’t mean to yell at you…”
Gerard sighed again. “It’s okay. It’s okay to be scared. You’re not the only
one, okay?”
Mikey looked up at him, eyes curious.
“Frank’s scared. I’m scared. We’re all scared Mikey. But just ‘cause….just
‘cause I’m not around, doesn’t mean I don’t love you, okay? You know that,
right?”
Mikey thought about that for a second, before he nodded.
“Mikey, I-”
“Like I said, not talking about it.” Mikey said, voice nonchalant, and staring
out at the procession below.
---
It was two days before Gerard’s birthday he started to feel the sickness
sweeping over him. He’d tried to hide it, tried to be strong, but it all got a
little too much.
Frank found him in the bathroom near the Starbucks around midnight, clutching
the porcelain bowl tightly, heaving into the water below.
“Hey,” Frank said in a broken tone, rubbing Gerard’s back slowly. “I’m here, ‘s
okay…”
Gerard looked up, trying to give Frank what he hoped was a reassuring smile,
before he ducked his head once more, trying to ignore the fact that it wasn’t
just stomach contents pouring from his mouth. For all the time he’d spent with
Bob, for what he’d seen in his short life, he never could get used to the
blood.
It was a few minutes before the retching stopped, and Gerard sat back on his
heels, and looked at Frank, hand still circling on Gerard’s back, his eyes
closed, fighting off the tears that were falling down his rosy cheeks.
“Hey,” Gerard said weakly, putting a hand under Frank’s chin.
Frank opened his eyes, and tried to smile.
“It’s okay,” Gerard said, wiping his mouth of the back of his hand.
“No it’s not,” Frank let out a sob, and crawled closer to Gerard, pushing
himself as close to Gerard’s chest as he could.
Gerard wrapped his arms around him, leaning his chin on Frank’s head.
“I know baby, I know…”
-
The day before Gerard’s birthday was like Hell. It dragged in, which, it turned
out, was a lot worse than it rushing past.
He felt as though every where he turned, someone was watching him, a fake smile
plastered on their face. Gerard tried to be friendly, he really did, but what
with the aches building in his bones, the shooting, throbbing pains in every
muscle he knew and didn’t know he had, it was a little hard to be so cheery.
It was around nine o’clock that night, Gerard was sitting on the frozen
escalators, not far from the back doors, when he saw his group of friends
slowly making their way over.
He noticed Frank cradling something against his chest - it almost broke
Gerard’s heart when he recognised the old, worn and torn bunny rabbit.
“Hey,” he said weakly, attempting to stand up, but failing miserably, and
cursing when Brian slid over and gripped him around the waist.
“We should, uhm,” Mikey was babbling, looking around at everyone but Gerard.
“Like…do we take…where do we…what…”
“Mikey,” Ray said behind him, placing a hand on the small of the younger Way’s
back. “We got this, okay?”
Mikey stared up at him, and for a brief second, Gerard felt as though a light
bulb had suddenly pinged in his head.
“We’ll sit by the door,” Brian was saying softly to Gerard. “Okay?”
Gerard tore his eyes away from his brother, and nodded. He looked at Frank, his
heart beating wildly - he wasn’t sure if it was the virus that was ravaging his
body, or the fear that Frank would leave him now.
Frank stared back at him, eyes almost dead, no life, before he sucked in a
breath, and slid his arm around Gerard’s side, opposite Brian.
“Come on baby,” he whispered. “Lets go sit down, okay?”
Gerard nodded, before he cringed against a pain, shooting up his spine like
electricity.
It took a few minutes, but soon Gerard was rested against the wall face the
glass doors, where just one year earlier, Frank had held him close, as he
stared out at his best friend dead eyes.
“You’re so beautiful,” Frank whispered against Gerard’s ear. He was pressed up
against Gerard’s side, the little old stuffy bunny laying discarded against the
wall, keeping guard. Frank didn’t seem to care they were surrounded, or that he
had tears sliding down his crimson cheeks.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ll ever see,” He whispered, one hand resting
against Gerard shaking stomach.
The aches were getting worse. If he’d been on a spaceship, he’d be expecting an
alien child to be clawing out of his none existent womb at any moment now. He
was finding it hard to talk now, couldn’t respond to Frank’s whispers.
“Frankie,” Brian said, leaning around Gerard’s shaking form, and taking Frank’s
arm. “I think it’s time.”
Frank looked at him, before he looked back at Gerard, eyes fazing over a milky
white, his body quivering.
Frank bit his lip, screwing his eyes shut, and shaking his head.
“It’s too soon,” Mikey was suddenly yelling, getting to his feet, Ray behind
him. “He’s still got two hours left!”
“Hey,” Ray was shushing, fighting back his own tears, rubbing Mikey’s back.
Mikey shook his head, staring down at Gerard, who was blinking blindly.
“Benji can help me,” Brian said to Frank, wrapping an arm around Gerard to pull
him up. As Benji started forward, head low, ignoring the watching stare of his
twin brother, Frank shook his head. “No. I can…I can do it.”
Brian looked at him for a second, before he nodded. They both helped pull
Gerard to his feet, Frank wrapping his arms around his boyfriend as they walked
him slowly towards the doors.
“Frankie?” Gerard whispered.
Frank looked up at him, and stopped. The cloudy look in his eyes clearing. If
it hadn’t been for Bob’s transformation last year, Frank would almost have
taken that as a hopeful sign.
“Yeah?” Frank rasped.
Gerard slipped out of Brian’s grasp, and fully into Frank’s, pressing his mouth
against the younger boy’s, clumsily, before he pulled away, and rested his head
against Frank’s.
“I love you.”
Frank let out a sob. “I love you too, Gee.”
Gerard smirked. “Forever.”
Frank nodded. “Forever.”
There was a gasp from behind them, and they looked to see Benji and Joel, stood
staring at the glass doors, their eyes wide, faces pale.
Gerard and Frank turned in unison, and Frank could have sworn his eyes were
deceiving him.
There was Bob, stood staring through the glass at them, head cocked to the
side, eyes black as death, his chest rising and falling in a jittering fashion.
“Guess he came back for me, huh?” Gerard almost laughed, a small tone of relief
in his voice that Frank didn’t want to hear.
“No.” Frank said suddenly, tightening his grip on Gerard, still staring out at
Bob.
His eyes. He couldn’t stop staring at those dead, black, lifeless eyes.
“Frankie,” Gerard said, trying to pull out of his grasp.
“No.” Frank repeated, pulling him tighter. “You can’t go…no…you’re not…no…”
Brian was behind Gerard now, trying to pull him from Frank’s grasp.
“Frankie,” Gerard was whining, his voice breaking. “Please…”
“NO!” Frank screamed suddenly, actually slapping at Brian’s hands as he tried
to pull Gerard away. “Please…no…”
Frank didn’t have time to register Mikey’s growing sobs behind him, the younger
Way brother screaming his brother’s name, as Benji suddenly appeared behind
Frank, arms wrapping around his waist, and tugging him backwards.
“NO!” Frank screamed again, trying to lash out as Benji pulled him away.
“Frankie,” Gerard said, a blood red tear slipping down his cheek.
“Come on Gee,” Brian said, and led him to the door. Brian eyed Bob
suspiciously, and made a small yelp when the zombie boy stood back slightly,
staring at Gerard.
Gerard gave a small nod, almost smiling at his old friend, before he turned
back to the group of boys behind him.
“Toro?” He said in a broken voice.
Ray looked up from where he was holding Mikey back.
“Break his heart, and I’ll fucking eat you.”
Ray stared back at Gerard, startled, before he gave a shy smile, and nodded.
“Promise.”
Gerard looked over at Joel, standing a few feet behind his twin brother who was
holding Frank tight in his arms. Gerard gave a small nod, before he turned to
Brian, and almost fell against his shoulder.
“Come on big guy,” Brian said, ready to pull open the door.
“Look after them for me,” Gerard whispered.
“You know I will.”
Gerard nodded, and turned back to Frank, almost limp in Benji’s arms, sobbing
uncontrollably.
“Frankie,” He called. Frank looked up, eyes red, and swollen, and still crying.
“I love you.”
Frank’s face crumpled, before he started trying to fight off the stronger
Madden, yelling curses and insults, screaming, “I’m going with him! LET FUCKING
GO OF ME YOU DICKHEAD!”
Gerard took a deep breath, and pushed through the doors, before anyone could
stop him.
Brian stepped back from the doors, his breath hitched as he watched Bob take a
tentative step towards his old friend, actually sniffing at him.
Brian turned the key, locking the doors, before he stepped back, just in time
as Frank came crashing against the glass, Benji still locked around his
midsection, cursing him.
“Frankie,” Benji was trying to soothe. “It’s too late…come on buddy…”
Frank was shaking uncontrollable, hands pressed against the glass.
He sucked in a breath as Gerard turned to face him, eyes black, face…blank.
Bob stepped up behind Gerard, almost watching the scene, if Lacidites could
even be aware of surroundings.
Frank let out a large sob, pressing his hands harder against the glass, and
felt his heart stop when Gerard pressed two hands on the other side of the
glass, still staring at him.
Frank wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, but he knew he would stay
there forever, until Gerard left.
---
Frank stepped away from glass, his eyes staring after the two stumbling figures
departing.
“It’s okay,” he told Benji, who still had his arms around his middle. “I’m
okay.”
Benji turned to look at Brian, who gave him a cautious nod.
He dropped his arms slowly from Frank’s waist, stepping back, eyes still on
him.
Frank took a deep breath, and dragged his eyes away from Gerard and Bob’s
retreating figures. He turned, scanning the small crowd behind him, settling on
the sight of Mikey, on the floor, Ray’s arms around him, cradling him like a
child.
The younger Way brother was sobbing uncontrollably, shaking his head, his eyes
screwed shut.
Frank quickly jogged to Mikey’s side, dropping to his knees, pulling his face
into his hands, lifting it up.
“Mikey, it’s okay…it’s okay…” Frank whispered, pressing their foreheads
together.
Mikey let out a loud sob, pulling away from Ray, wrapping his arms around his
best friend’s neck.
“He’s okay, Mikey, he’s gonna be okay…” Frank cried into Mikey’s shoulder.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, before Frank pulled away, holding
Mikey at arm’s length.
“We’re gonna get him back, okay?”
Mikey blinked at him, rubbing at his eyes.
“We’re gonna get him back. Bob too. We’re getting them back, okay?”
“Frank, what are you-” Brian began in a shaky voice, but Frank cut him off.
“We’re leaving,” Frank said, getting to his feet.
“What?” Benji asked in a high voice, staring at his twin brother, who looked
just as dumbfounded.
“We’re leaving,” Frank repeated, reaching out a hand for Mikey to take, pulling
him to his feet.
“Frank, you’re upset, I get that, but lets not-”
“We’re leaving, Brian.” Frank cut him off again.
“Where are we going?” Mikey asked in a strained voice, turned his head slightly
as Ray stepped up behind him once more, putting his hands on the younger boys
hips.
“Mexico,” Frank breathed, turning to stare at the glass doors once again.
“We’re going to find the cure.”
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