Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2271909.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Derek_Hale/Jordan_Parrish, Vernon_Boyd/Erica
      Reyes, Allison_Argent/Scott_McCall, Matt_Daehler/Stiles_Stilinski
  Character:
      Derek_Hale, Stiles_Stilinski, Jordan_Parrish, Erica_Reyes, Vernon_Boyd,
      Scott_McCall, Allison_Argent, Sheriff_Stilinski, Matt_Daehler
  Additional Tags:
      Teacher-Student_Relationship, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Alternate
      Universe_-_No_Werewolves, Domestic_Violence, Abusive_Relationships,
      Guilt, Shame, Pining, Mutual_Pining
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-09-07 Updated: 2014-09-25 Chapters: 2/? Words: 19447
****** Latch ******
by kuronoir
Summary
     “I’m Stiles.” He says with a grin, like his name is some kind of
     accomplishment. “Stiles Stilinski.”
     And Derek has to pause because, “Stilinski?”
     “Yeah, that’s me.” Stiles says sounding petulant. But Dereks mind is
     somewhere else. With a tiny grieving boy in a hospital chapel. Derek
     takes a good look at him. He really grew up, his shoulders are broad
     and his voice is deep and smooth, no hint of adolescent awkwardness.
     “Right,” Derek says recovering, “well I would appreciate if you could
     try keeping your fidgeting to a minimum, Stiles.” The name sounds
     strange on his tongue, new. He’s finally put a name to the face from
     so long ago.
     “Will do Mr. Hale.” And he fucking winks. Derek just blinks owlishly
     at him for a second, before diving back into his lecture.
     This kid- Stiles, is going to be trouble.
Notes
     This is the first of what I plan to be about 4 parts. This chapter is
     pretty Derek/Parrish heavy (heads up the next chapter will be as
     well), but Sterek is end game. That said, if that pairing isn't your
     thing, consider yourself warned.
     Come yell at me to write faster over on tumblr
***** Chapter 1 *****
When Derek Hale is 17, his grandmother dies. She was old and lived a full life,
but her final days were spent in a hospital bed trying and eventually failing
to recover from a particularly bad case of pneumonia. There are no dramatic
last words or shocking death bed confessions. She knew it was her time and she
went peacefully. Down the hall, the Stilinski family are facing their own loss.
A few hours after Dereks grandmother passes, Claudia Stilinski dies leaving her
bereft husband and son behind.
Now, Derek doesn't really know the Stilinski family apart from a vague
awareness that Mr. Stilinski is a deputy in the Beacon HIlls Sheriff's
Department. He's never had occasion to meet their son. He doesn't even know the
kids name, however, when he sees the little boy huddled in a corner of the
chapel, shaking, breath ragged, head tucked between his knees, he knows that
this must be him. He knows that this must be the little boy who is far too
young to have just lost his mother. His heart clenches, his own loss still
fresh and raw.
He comes and sits next to him. There aren't any words, Derek knows there is
nothing anyone could say to him that would make the loss of his grandmother any
easier, but he thinks it would be nice to not be alone. So he places a hand on
the boys back, just to make him aware of Derek presence, and then just sits
with him as the boys breaths calm down slowly and the sobs dissipate. He sits
with him a bit longer then, until at last the boy falls asleep against his
side.
Derek picks him up, he's tiny, even for his young age, and carries him back to
his father who hasn't moved from his wife's side yet.
When Derek walks into the room, slumbering boy in tow, Mr. Stilinski looks up,
eyes red and tear stained, and favors him with a tight smile and a nod as he
stands to grab his son from Derek's arms. He mouths a silent thank you and
Derek nods before leaving the family to grieve.
Derek realizes belatedly, once he has found his family again and they are all
getting ready to head home, that during the time he spent sitting with the
Stilinski kid in that chapel, something had eased in his chest. The sting of
his own grief, somehow softened by the simple act of trying to comfort this
child.
===============================================================================
Derek looks up at the imposing beige brick of Beacon Hills High School. He
remembers so vividly standing in this very spot when he was a student here.
Somehow the building is just as scary now as it was then. He thought that ten
years and a whole slew of life experience would make the place seem smaller.
That's definitely not the case. Derek is sweating even in the cool September
breeze. He hitches his messenger bag higher up his shoulder and begins the trek
to his new classroom. It's been so long and not much has changed about the
place. The lockers, the same bright cerulean color, the smell is even the same,
industrial strength bleach doing little to cover the smell of hundreds of
teenage bodies.
Derek questions why he made the choice to come here. He knows why he's in
Beacon Hills. Last year after his family perished in a horrible fire that
consumed the home he grew up in and all of his loved ones with it, Derek had
returned to settle their affairs. It was a long process, and afterwards, the
idea of leaving this place was just more than he could deal with. It was like
the only thing left of them was the echo of their presence in this town. Being
here made him feel close to them in a way he knew he never would if he were to
return to New York. So he'd quit his job and is having a new house built on the
Hale property about a mile away from the ruins of the old house. Rebuilding his
childhood home seemed tempting, but in the end the idea of living directly over
where his family had burned to death was a bit too morose, even for him.
But Derek didn't actually need to take a job here in Beacon Hills. The
insurance money, and the inheritance he was left more than assured he'd live
comfortably for the rest of his life, but sitting in the apartment he was
renting while the house was being finished, he felt himself going a little bit
insane. So he decided to take a part time teaching position at Beacon HIlls
High. It was the only thing even close to what his particular skill set would
allow him to do. He'd been an art history professor at Columbia University
before, and while teaching the subject to a bunch of kids who likely couldn't
care less about the subject seemed like a bit of a down grade, he figured it
was the best option for him, at least for the time being.
So here he stands, about to begin teaching classes about prehistoric fertility
statues and early greek architecture to a bunch of disinterested 16 year olds.
Derek sighed before opening the door to his room and flicking on the lights.
He knew that most teachers liked to decorate their rooms with posters relating
to the subject they'd be teaching, or random motivational posters with pictures
of eagles or whatever. Derek couldn't be bothered. for someone with such a deep
appreciation for art, Derek had a complete disinterest in actually decorating a
space with it. For some reason, hanging a glossy $15.00 poster of the Mona Lisa
in his classroom rubbed him the wrong way. As a result, he's left the same few
posters on the walls that the previous teacher using this room had left behind.
There was one with a list of random "do's and dont's" as well as an informative
poster about frogs. He thought about taking them down, but decided in the end
it wasn't really worth the effort. If his students were paying attention to
whatever random posters were on the wall and not what he was saying to them,
then he wasn't doing his job anyway.
Derek sips his coffee from his thermos and pretends to be busy on his computer
as he waits for the first bell to ring. He only has classes in the morning
today and he is already eager to leave. Hes never particularly enjoyed being in
from of a group of people. He's particularly wary to get in front of a group of
teenagers. Teenagers are fucking scary.
His first class goes about a well as can be expected. Derek is as friendly as
he ever is (which is to say not very) and quickly determines that not one
student is taking this class because they actually want to be there. Derek
reminds himself frequently that nurturing young minds is an important, noble
and thankless task. It doesn't make him like these any of these kids any
better.
During his second period though, he almost gives up and walks out he's so
annoyed. This kid. As soon as he walks in the room, chatting animatedly with
his friend with the floppy hair, Derek knows he's going to annoy the shit out
of him. Derek sets his jaw and tries with all his might not to glare.
He begins the class by discussing the syllabus, and really that shouldn't be as
difficult as it is proving to be, but he finds himself stumbling over his words
because that kid won't stop fidgeting. Fingers tapping on the desk, legs
jumping up and down, and the most bizarre facial twitches Derek has even seen.
It's driving him insane. Finally Derek snaps.
"I need to sit still." Derek says mid sentence turning to the kid.
"Who, me?" He asks dumbly looking around as if Derek could possibly be talking
to anyone else.
"Yes you, please stop fidgeting."
"Sure, whatever." The kid pauses with a sour expression on his face, then, "
Are you even allowed to ask me to do that. I think you're not allowed to ask
that. To tell me to stop fidgeting. What if I have a condition. I could have
restless leg syndrome. You don't even know anything about me. Hey, you didn't
even get our names. Where's our first day of school name game!"
"Alright, I'll bite then. What's your name."
"I'm Stiles." He says with a grin, like his name is some kind of
accomplishment. "Stiles Stilinski."
And Derek has to pause because, "Stilinski?"
"Yeah, that's me." Stiles says sounding petulant. But Dereks mind is somewhere
else. With a tiny grieving boy in a hospital chapel. Derek takes a good look at
him. He really grew up, his shoulders are broad and his voice is deep and
smooth, no hint of adolescent awkwardness.
"Right," Derek says recovering, "well I would appreciate if you could try
keeping your fidgeting to a minimum, Stiles." The name sounds strange on his
tongue, new. He's finally put a name to the face from so long ago.
"Will do Mr. Hale." And he fucking winks. Derek just blinks owlishly at him for
a second, before diving back into his lecture.
This kid- Stiles, is going to be trouble.
===============================================================================
The next day is somewhat better. Derek has his older students taking the AP
level class, and they seem at least somewhat invested in the subject. It at
least appears that they are listening to him when he talks, no one is obviously
sleeping anyway.
He can't stop thinking about yesterday though. Stiles, and how much he's grown
up. He wonders idly if Stiles remembers him from that day. It's unlikely,
Stiles couldn't have been more than 6 years old at the time and had barely been
able to look at him through the crippling weight of his grief.
The day passes uneventfully, and Derek finds himself excited to see Stiles the
next day anyway. He suddenly curious about who Stiles grew up to be. He wants
to know that he is okay, that the scars from that day have healed, that he is
able to function. It's selfish really. Derek just figures if Stiles was able to
get past such a huge loss, maybe there's hope that Derek will someday feel like
the person he used to be. He's never been too fond of too much company. Even
with his huge family, he'd always managed to spend most of his time alone
growing up, but now the loneliness is a heavy tangible thing. In the night,
sometimes the silence and the weight of it is almost too much to bear. Derek
doesn't cry anymore, but most nights he goes without sleep, chest clenching
painfully, shaking all over.
The following morning, Derek will never admit to spending a little extra time
making sure his hair is laying just so. He even wears his favorite cardigan
that Laura had suggested he gut because the green really brings out your eyes.
He runs his hands over it pausing for a moment, lost in memories of his
favorite sister. He even debates wearing his contacts today, but decides that
he's already done too much.
It's not that he's trying to impress Stiles or anything. That would be weird.
But he can't deny that something about knowing that Stiles will be in his class
today makes him want to try a little more. To be the best version of himself he
can be. If that means plastering a smile on his face and trying not to look
like he rolled out of bed into whatever clothes were in arms reach then so be
it. It's important for a professional to look put together he thinks.
He drinks an extra cup of coffee in his room before classes start and by the
time the bell rings he's jittery and full of anxious energy. He spends his
whole first period pacing and talking way too fast for anyone to pick up on
anything he's saying. Once the second period rolls around and Stiles comes in
with his floppy haired friend, (Scott, Derek had learned) Derek lets out a
breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He actually smiles. What the hell. He
can't help it though, the feeling of comfort seeing this loud mouthed gangly
kid brings to him.
"Hey, Mr. Hale!" Stiles says as he enters the room fully. He waves awkwardly,
and Derek wonders if he'd been staring.
"Hello, Stiles." Derek replies lowly, before turning to the whiteboard and
beginning to erase the notes he'd scribbled on the board for his first class.
Stiles is remarkably more subdued today. There is still a constant sense of
vibrating energy about him, but he seems a bit more controlled, focused even.
At the end of class, when everyone is making their way to lunch, Derek notices
Stiles lagging behind. Once everyone is gone, Stiles is still standing there,
about three feet from his desk.
"Can I help you?" Derek asks, barely looking up as he pretends to be doing
something important with the papers on his desk.
"I have ADHD" Stiles replies apropos of nothing.
"Okay." Derek drawls cocking an eyebrow and waiting for Stiles to continue.
"It's just, the other day, when you asked me to not fidget. I- well sometimes I
can't help it. I forgot to take my meds that day and well…" He trails off, but
Derek understands, and now he feels like shit. He knows he can be an asshole,
but he never really wants to hurt someone or embarrass them like that. What had
he been thinking, he was way out of line. Derek stands and crosses the room to
stand in front of Stiles.
"I am so sorry Stiles. I didn't mean- I don't know what I was thinking. I
should never have- If you need me to-" Derek can't quite seem to get his
apology together, but it seems like Stiles understands. He looks up from the
floor smirk tugging on his lips.
"It's alright Mr. Hale. I guess I just thought you should know and- well that's
it really. I just wanted to tell you. I don't want you to hate me, or think I'm
annoying or whatever."
"You're not annoying Stiles, and I don't hate you, don't ever think like that."
A blush quickly spreads over Stiles cheeks, and Derek can't help thinking how
cute he looks all red faced and shy. It's only a split second though and Derek
quickly squashes the thought, embarrassed it was even there in the first place.
"Thanks Mr. Hale." Stiles says as he grabs his bag and makes for the door. He
pauses, his hand on the knob though and turns to look at Derek again.
"Do you remember me?" he asks, blush still high on his cheeks. Derek heart rate
sky rockets. He decides however to play ignorant for the moment, to be certain
they are talking about the same thing. He cocks an eyebrow and Stiles shuffles
his feet looking down at the floor clearly embarrassed. "That day," he
continues, "in the hospital. You sat with me."
"I remember." Derek says valiantly trying not to give away his excitement that
Stiles remembers him.
"Well, I never got to say thank you. So, thank you." Stiles looks up then, a
small genuine smile playing on his lips.
Derek nods not really sure how to reply. He doesn't tell him that Stiles had
done as much for him that day as well. His presence that day having soothed him
in a way he still can't quite understand.
Stiles continues, taking a step closer, "I heard about.. you know."
Dereks posture stiffens, he wasn't quite ready to talk about his family. Not
right now.
"I'm sure you don't really want to talk about it or anything, but-" He pauses,
thinking. "If you ever want to just, not be alone… I know that helped me."
Derek doesn't really know how to reply, he just nods again, tension easing from
his shoulders a bit.
"Alright, well-"
"How are you?" Derek blurts out before Stiles can leave. Stiles turns to him
looking a bit confused. "I mean, how are you coping?" Derek clarifies, then in
a moment of vulnerability that takes him off guard he adds, "Does it ever get
easier?"
Stiles gives him a sad smile, "It never stops hurting. At least it hasn't for
me. But it does get easier to deal with I think."
Derek nods again. Something about this moment, Derek feel like a kid receiving
sage advice from Stiles. It's not supposed to be like this. Derek shouldn't be
being comforted by a sixteen year old. He can't bring himself to care though.
He is grateful for Stiles understanding. He hasn't had anyone to share his
grief with. No one who really might get it. He thinks, selfishly, that Stiles
could be that person for him. It's totally inappropriate and definitely a
little weird, but the breath Derek can finally let out after having shared a
little of himself with Stiles makes him not really care that much anymore.
Derek looks at the clock, "You better get to lunch, I'm sure Scott is wondering
where you are."
"Nah, he's probably just making heart-eyes at Allison. They won't even notice
I'm not there."
Derek smirks at him before saying stupidly, "Well if you want to eat in here, I
promise not to make heart-eyes at you."
Stiles barks out a surprised laugh. "Mr. Hale, was that a joke? I didn't know
you had it in you!"
Derek forces out a small grin. In his mind he's just yelling at himself what
are you thinking! Apparently whatever it is about Stiles presence that helps to
ease the pain in his heart, also causes him to have verbal diarrhea. Well, he
can't take it back now. Especially since Stiles seems to already be taking up
his offer and moving a chair over to the other side of Dereks desk. Derek
stands rooted to the same spot watching Stiles unpack his ham sandwich and
cheesy poofs.
He still hasn't moved when Stiles begins shoving them in his mouth four at a
time. Stiles seems to notice him staring at last, and looks up.
"Id dis woday?" He mumbles around a mouthful of food. Derek just looks at him,
confused and a little grossed out. Stiles, at great length chews and swallows
his food, "Is this okay?" he repeats.
"Yes. Yeah, it's fine." Derek says finally moving to grab his own lunch from
his bag under the desk. "Do you even taste your food?" Derek asks as Stiles
continues to happily munch away at his lunch.
"What do you mean?" Stiles asks looking genuinely confused.
Derek just shakes his head, failing to suppress a grin, "Nothing, nevermind."
The rest of the mean is spent in companionable silence. It's not awkward at
all, in fact, Derek feels more at ease with each passing moment. It's nice, he
thinks, the ever present loneliness that has been crushing him for so long is,
for the moment, taking a back seat. There are a few brief glances, and Stiles
spares him a few silent, shy smiles when his mouth isn't full. Derek worries in
passing that he is not very good company, but Stiles seems not to mind, seems
content to sit in peace with Derek, and Derek couldn't be more grateful that
Stiles isn't pushing him to have more conversation.
Derek thinks he wouldn't mind if he did though. He thinks he could enjoy
talking to Stiles.
When the period is over, Stiles grabs his things and head to the door, before
he leaves he turns to Derek and asks, "Would you mind if I came back tomorrow?"
He hesitates for a moment before adding, "I know I don't have your class or
anything, but sitting and watching Scott and Allison moon over each other for
45 minutes is pretty much the worst."
"Of course, anytime." Derek replies pretending that his heart isn't beating out
of his chest.
"Thanks Mr. Hale. Well, see you tomorrow then." He smiles before bouncing out
the door into the rush of people in the hallway.
"See you tomorrow." Derek says to the empty space where Stiles had just
vacated.
===============================================================================
In the weeks that follow, Stiles does in fact come and spend his lunch period
with Derek. Sometimes they talk, Stiles sharing stories about his and Scotts
dreams of first line on the lacrosse team, or ranting about what an asshole
that Jackson Whittemore kid is (he really is the worst Derek can confirm), or
about Scott and Allisons tragic beautiful love, retching about how gross the
two are when they are together, and how it's even worse when it's just Scott
and Stiles and Scott can't talk about anything without is coming back to
Allisons hair or her eyes or how good she smells.
Derek, oddly, can sympathize. When Stiles comes for lunch, it's the best part
of his day. He adamantly refuses to investigate it too deeply, but he has to at
least admit that they are friends. It's weird, he thinks, having such a
camaraderie with someone over 10 years his junior, but Stiles is smart and
funny and easy to talk to. Derek even enjoys hearing Stiles go on and on about
some of his very 16 year old problems. But Derek also realizes that he spends
way too much time when he's not around Stiles, thinking about him. He wonders
how Stiles is getting on in his Chemistry class with Mr. Harris, or if his
lacrosse practice went okay. He thinks about how Stiles constantly really. He
often has the itch to talk to him late at night when his thoughts spiral into
the morose and he craves the brightness of his smile to lift his spirits.
They very carefully avoid any talk of Dereks family though. Or Stiles mom, or
that day in the hospital chapel. It doesn't need to be discussed really. They
both realize that there isn't really anything to be said. Derek is grateful for
that as well. Stiles is becoming more important to him than anyone in his life.
To be totally honest, Stiles is really only one of a few people Derek ever
talks to.
He has a few friends here in Beacon Hills. Erica, and her boyfriend Boyd, who
have been close friends of his since he was in high school. They both tried to
be there for him this past year as he mourned his family, but he never really
shared too much of his grief with them. He usually forced a brave face around
them, and failing that, avoided them altogether.
This weekend however, Erica has managed to convince Derek to come out dancing
with her. He was never really one for all the loud music and sloppy
drunkenness, but Erica promised the place was low key, more of a neighborhood
bar with a jukebox and a small dancefloor than a club, so Derek had acquiesced
after a little prodding from her.
Derek actually finds himself looking forward to the night out. It's Friday
during lunch and Derek is sitting with Stiles who is telling him about his
plans for the weekend.
"So what are you doing this weekend."
"Hm?" Derek snaps out of his thoughts.
"Anything exciting going on in teacher world this weekend."
"I don't always do teacher things Stiles. I'm a whole person outside of this
school you know. i have a life."
"I'm sure." Stiles replies smugly.
"I do." Derek insists, "In fact, tonight a friend and I are going to a club."
Derek doesn't say that it's actually just a small bar, tries to make it sound
more glamorous and exciting than it really is. He has a knee jerk instinct to
try and impress Stiles whenever he can.
Stiles eyes grow wide and a huge smile spreads across his face, "Wow, can I
come?"
And that throws Derek off for a moment, because his first instinct is to say of
course, but just a quickly, he remembers that Stiles is in fact his very under
21 student, and there is now universe in which it would be okay for him to take
Stiles out drinking. Especially with Erica. Derek doesn't even think he's old
enough to go out drinking with Erica. The girl is wild.
"Stiles," Derek says fixing him with a look, "You're 16, in case you've
forgotten."
"Yeah, yeah. I have a fake ID though."
"Stiles!" Derek exclaims, "Please don't tell me that."
"It's true, and anyways, I'm sure no one would give me a second glance if I
walked in with you."
And now Derek is really thrown because- what? Derek catches Stiles clamp his
mouth shut before going a bright shade of red.
"I mean- well- you have a uh- presence. And you know-"
Derek decides to save him from his fumble, "Stiles, I'm flattered that you'd
like to come with me, but you're too young to be hanging out with me- outside
of school I mean." he adds quickly.
Stiles looks relieved for a moment, before retorting, "So, I'll give you a call
in a few years then?" and then he fucking winks, and Derek doesn't even know
what to do about this. Stiles is clearly flirting and Derek knows he's turning
bright red. What is even happening right now. This should definitely not be
happening. But Stiles has recovered, and his most charming goofy grin is in
place, and Derek allows himself to believe that he was just imagining things
because there is no way that Stiles is flirting with him.
"We'll see." Derek replies gruffly before focusing his full attention on his
sushi and thereby ending the conversation. Internally, however, his heart is
still racing, and his mind is replaying the exchange over and over trying to
figure out how to make it mean something else.
Stiles slumps down in his seat and finishes the rest of his meal in silence.
===============================================================================
That evening, Derek has recovered enough to be able to get himself together to
go to the bar with Erica. He tries to look decent, but he's also not really
interested in impressing anyone tonight either. He does wear the jeans that
Erica tells him makes his ass look phenomenal though.
He only has one goal in mind though, and that is to get wasted and not think
about Stiles. He's beginning to understand what that swooping feeling he gets
in his stomach every time he sees Stiles means. He's realized that the clench
in his heart when Stiles looks at him like that is decidedly more than just
friendly affection. Derek, fuck, Derek is developing feelings for Stiles, and
isn't that just a punch in the course Derek would fuck this up too. Of course
Derek would develop a meaningful relationship with a child and not even realize
that he was setting himself up for disaster. It's just that Stiles is
addicting. Derek couldn't have stopped it he supposes, but he plans to spend
tonight doing whatever he can to forget. At least for awhile. He'll do the hard
part later. The part that will require him to force Stiles out of his life.
It's the only way. Derek has never been able to do anything halfway, and he
knows if he doesn't stop this now, he probably never will.
So he get's himself looking decent, and texts Erica that he's on his way to
her.
hurry up, I'm bored. It's a total sausage fest in here.
i thought you'd like that?
derek, ive got a man, i just want to shake my ass
im glad to hear you're so loyal.
shut up and get here
alright be there in 20
make it 15 and first rounds on me
i thought you were buying first round anyway
well make it quick and i might just make good on that promise
Derek huffs out a laugh before checking himself over once more in the mirror.
His ass does look pretty good in these jeans.
He makes his was to the Camaro Laura has left him, and drives the short
distance to the small bar. He makes it there in just under 15 minutes.
"Finally!" Erica exclaims when she spots him from her place at the bar.
She 's standing next to a man, about Derek's height with light brown hair. He
has his back mostly turned to him, but Erica gets his attention and when he
turns around, wow. Derek is struck by how incredibly handsome this man is. His
skin is tanned and lightly freckled, his eyes a beautiful shade of green,
bright and open, his smile charming yet earnest. Derek blinks at him a few
times dumbly unable to form words for a moment.
"Hi, I'm Jordan." He says stepping forward.
"Jordan gave me a speeding ticket once, but he's actually not evil so I decided
to keep him around. Jordan, this embarrassing mute is my friend Derek I was
telling you about."
"Hi, Derek, Erica's told me all about you. It's nice to finally put a face to
the name."
Derek just grunts his reply, and continues to awkwardly stare. He will freely
admit, he has no game whatsoever. Jordan doesn't seem to mind though, grinning
good naturedly before turning to Erica and saying, "You were right, strong
silent type."
"Told ya."
"Handsome too." Jordan adds with a cocky grin, and now Derek is sure his face
is beet red.
"Erica, may I speak with you a moment." He says turning a glare on Erica who is
barely containing her mirth at Dereks discomfort.
"Sure this Der. Be right back." She addresses to Jordan.
They step outside into the brisk night air and Derek turns on Erica as soon as
the door shuts behind them.
"What do you think you're doing."
"He's cute right."
"Thats not what I asked. You should have told me this was going to be some kind
of set up."
"Derek, he's hot, you're hot. You need to get laid, and I'm confident he's more
than willing to lay you. Plus he's a really nice guy. Just talk to him. If
nothing else, you need to have a social circle that includes people besides
me."
"And Boyd."
"Oh, please. Boyd is a lot of things, but social is not one of them."
"For him being your boyfriend, you seem not to like him very much."
"I'm not with him for his conversational skills you sweet innocent thing."
"You're disgusting."
"You love me. Now are you going to get back in there, or am I going to have to
force you."
Derek huffs for a moment and considers being a asshole and leaving. Erica would
forgive him of course, but he did come out with a mission to forget about a
certain Stiles shaped disaster in his life, and Derek can't say he's opposed to
getting to know this guy a little better.
"He is really cute isn't he." Derek admits shyly.
"That's my boy, now get in there and go get 'im"
Derek shakes his head, amused, before straightening his shoulders and marching
back inside.
"Hey, you're back, I was worried there for a minute." Jordan says grinning as
soon as he spots Derek.
"Yeah, well, here I am." He casts around looking for Erica, only to discover
she's pulled a miraculous disappearance.
"So," Jordan asks, still brimming with a confidence and social ease that Derek
envies, "buy you a drink."
That was supposed to be Ericas job, Derek thinks before replying, "Sure,
thanks."
They fall into easy conversation after that. Jordan works as a deputy at the
Sheriff's Department. He's only been in Beacon Hills for about as long as Derek
has been back. He tells Derek the story of how he met Erica. Derek in turn
tells Jordan about how when they were in high school Erica introduced herself
to him by cornering him and and shoving her tongue down his throat. About how
they dated for about a week before he realized that he had no interest in her
lady parts and they quickly became the best of friends after.
They laugh and drink and eventually, Jordan manages to drag Derek to the small
dancefloor. He spots Erica grinding up on some girl, blonde curls swinging
dramatically. She sees him stumbling behind Jordan and gives him a thumbs up.
Derek just rolls his eyes before Jordan spins them around and throws his arms
around Dereks neck.
They don't really dance. Derek doesn't really dance anyway, but Jordan
rhythmically sways Derek to the beat of the music. Derek places his hands
politely at Jordans waist, but eventually, either due to the trance induced by
the music, or the lights reflecting in Jordans eyes, or maybe it's the alcohol,
Derek finds his hands moving around to more firmly pull Jordans body to his. He
moves his hands over his muscular back and relishes in the closeness of their
bodies.
Jordan moves his mouth close to Dereks ear and says just loud enough to be
heard over the music, "I mean it before, you're really handsome."
Derek pulls back to look at him in the eye, before leaning in to press their
lips together. It's chaste to begin, but quickly turns hungry and passionate.
Derek slides one hand down Jordans back to grab at his ass, and Jordan presses
up, impossibly closer, both hands now tangled in Derek's hair.
It's hot, both of them sweaty and the beat of the music has almost faded
entirely behind the pounding of blood rushing in Dereks ears.
Derek pulls back after who knows how long, and looks again at Jordan,
breathless. Jordan is still smiling.
"You wanna?" Jordan asks, somewhat shy for the first time all evening.
"Yes. Fuck, yes." Derek breathes out before grabbing Jordans face between both
hands and crushing their lips together for a brief, but thorough kiss.
"Wow." Jordan says looking somewhat dazed.
"Yeah." Derek replies intelligently, feeling the same.
On their way to grab their coats, Derek grabs Erica and asks if she'll be okay
if he leaves.
"Duh!" She says laughing,, "This was my whole plan dummy. Have fun."
Derek just smiles at her before rushing after Jordan.
They make it about 7 feet from the bar before Jordan pushes Derek up against a
wall and crashes their mouths together again. It's cold out, but Jordans body
is so warm pressed up against his. Derek slides a hand up Jordans shirt and
flicks a thumb over his nipple, then leans down a bit to suck on his neck.
"How do you smell so good." Derek mumbles against his neck, hand still stroking
against Jordans chest.
Jordan just chuckles, "C'mon, lets get to the car." And Derek, at great pain
detaches himself from Jordans neck.
Derek's not sure how he manages to drive them to his apartment safely. Jordan
is barely able to keep his hands to himself, and Derek isn't doing much better.
Every time they stop at a red light Derek leans over the console to steal
another kiss. They aren't even bothering with pretense at this point, both of
them hungry and passionate.
By the time they get to Dereks house, they barely are a step inside before
Derek is slamming the door shut and pressing Jordan back against it. They kiss
sloppily as both fumble with belts and zippers. With a frustrated growl Derek
drops to his knees and yanks Jordans pants down around his thighs, freeing his
rock hard cock from the too tight denim. He takes a moment to look up at
Jordan, his eyes are unfocused, clouded with his lust, before licking his lips
and swallowing him whole. Jordans lets out a low moan as Derek works his tongue
around his cock still buried in his throat. Jordan fists both hands in Dereks
hair and gently as can be expected guides Derek to move.
Derek pulls off after he's had enough, licking a wet stripe from Jordans balls
up to the tip of his cock. Jordans thighs are shaking with the effort of
remaining standing, but Derek isn't through with him just yet.
"Turn around." He commands, voice gruff from having Jordan so deeply lodged in
his throat moments before. Jordan quickly obliges and presents his gorgeous
round ass to Derek. He takes a moment to stroke his hands over the cheeks, and
ghost a finger over his hole, before laving at it with his tongue. The sound
Jordan makes may have been intended to be words, but all that comes out is a
his and a choked off sob as he pushes his ass further back blindly seeking
more. Derek gives his ass a quick, firm slap before diving back in, pressing
his tongue as deep as it can go inside of Jordan. He is thorough, but efficient
in getting Jordan wet and loose. He slides first one, then two fingers inside
him quickly finding his prostate and applying pressure. Jordan yelps, and Derek
spares a moment to think of the trauma his neighbors are probably having right
now. He can't bring himself to care too much, because Jordan is warm and slick,
clenching desperately around Dereks fingers.
"I want you to fuck me." Jordan says breathlessly, "Will you fuck me, please
Derek." he manages before Derek stands fingers still buried in Jordans ass. He
latches on to Jordans neck as he continues to move his fingers around inside
Jordan. Part of him wants to make Jordan beg and cry for it, but his desire to
get off himself overrules that and he slowly pulls his fingers from Jordan
eliciting a gasp from him at the loss. He takes a step back and appreciates the
wreck he's made of Jordan. He's still pressed against the door, panting and red
faced, jeans bunched around his this, and Derek saliva dripping from between
his cheeks. He looks fucking beautiful. All the composure he's tried to
maintain during the whole night cast out the window. I lights something hungry
and feral inside Derek.
He licks his lips and commands, "Don't move." before rushing off to the
bathroom to grab a condom and some lube. When he returns, Jordan has dutifully
remained where he was, biting his lip, a pleading look in his eyes, silently
begging Derek to get on with it. He's only too happy to oblige. He steps up
behind Jordan and grabs a fist full of his ass before slapping it gently. He
pops open the lube, spreads some on his fingers warming it and slides two
fingers back inside of Jordan. He sighs, a sound of relief. He slides on the
condom, giving his cock a few firm strokes before pulling slightly on Jordans
hip, urging him to bend over a bit further, and then slides inside. The hot
clench of Jordans body is almost enough to have Derek thrusting wildly, chasing
his release, but he remains still, buried to the hilt inside him for just a
moment, relishing the little sounds Jordan makes while he clenches around him.
Derek smooths a hand up Jordans back, rucking his shit up under his armpits
while pulls back slowly and slams back in. Jordan shouts, and almost loses his
balance. Derek takes a more firm grip on Jordans hips, before thrusting in
earnest.
Jordans body is so tight, and impossibly hot, Derek soon loses his compose and
begins rutting madly against him, his release coming up on him quickly. Soon he
feels Jordan clench impossibly tighter around him and he lets out a long almost
pained groan as he comes. Derek follows shortly after his body spasming before
he collapses against Jordans back, sweating and panting.
After a moment to catch their breath, Jordan says, "Sorry."
"For what." Derek asks perplexed.
"I uhh, came all over your door." Derek barks out a surprised laugh at that
before falling to the floor with Jordan in his lap.
"I honestly don't even care. That was-"
"Amazing." Jordan finishes. And he was right. It's been awhile since Derek got
laid, but to his recollection, it's never been that intense. Derek is usually
pretty aggressive in bed (or against the door as it were), but Jordan made him
feel almost feral in a way he's never been before. Sex is the only time Derek
will allow himself to just want and take and Jordan gave that to him in a way
he can't remember ever experiencing.
They both sit there on the floor, sweaty and sticky. Derek hasn't even bothered
to take the condom off and it's beginning to feel weird around his softening
cock. In a moment he realizes he's probably being a terrible host. In the next
he also realizes that he doesn't want Jordan to go. That, besides the amazing
sex they just had, he wants more of the comfortable conversation they were
sharing at the bar earlier. He wants his presence.
"So, uh-" Derek begins dumbly
"I guess that's my cue then." Jordan says before Derek can finish, sounding a
bit dejected.
"Wait," Derek says realizing that Jordan thinks he wants him to leave, "stay. I
mean, you don't have to, but if you want to, we can.. I don't know, watch a
movie or something." Derek can hear the desperation creeping into his voice.
"Alright."
"Alright?"
"Alright. I'd like that. Though I can't promise I'll be able to stay awake for
the whole movie. You kinda wore me out."
Derek chuckles. "That's fine too." They both groan rising to their feet and
Jordan awkwardly tries to pull his pants back up. Derek notices and says,
"Maybe a shower is in order first huh?"
"Oh thank god. As much as I enjoy your manly stench, I do not want to sit
anywhere when I'm this sticky."
"Manly stench?" Derek says wrinkling his nose.
"Trust me, its not a bad thing. You smell really good actually."
"Umm.. thanks?"
"You're welcome. Now where's the shower." Jordan says as he steps fully out of
his pants and drags his shirt over his head. Derek takes a moment to lament the
fact he hadn't even been patient enough to get him fully naked before because
damn Jordans body is beautiful. He stands there, soft cock dangling between his
legs not even remotely self conscious. Derek feels kind of dumb with his own
pants still hitched down and his cock hanging out awkwardly.
Derek coughs, tries to stop gawking, and manages to scrape a "This way." out of
his throat, before taking a page from Jordans book and shucking his pants the
rest of the way off and throwing his shirt in a corner somewhere.
They make their way to the shower, suffice to say they have to wash twice, and
then Derek offers Jordan a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt to sleep in.
"Thanks." He says, slipping them on. Derek sets up the netflix on his
television in his room and they both crawl into bed. They end up not even
watching a movie, getting into a heated debate about Star Wars (Jordan thinks
Episodes 1-3 were good, Derek has half a mind to kick him out of bed on
principle)
Eventually, the conversation ebbs and Jordans eyelids begin to droop. Derek is
getting sleepy too, and he flicks off the bedside lamp before huddling down
deeper in the covers. He wraps his arms around Jordans already sleeping form
and takes a moment to realize that he accomplished his goal. He hasn't thought
about Stiles all night. Nothing about that realization however, is comforting
to him.
===============================================================================
"So, how was it." Erica says to him over the phone. Derek is not a morning
person, and Erica knows this. The fact that she is calling him at 7:30 in the
morning on a Saturday is almost grounds for termination of friendship. He is
currently hiding in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat, trying his very
best not to cuss out his best friend.
"I was great." he whispers, "Can I go back to sleep now?"
"Why are you whispering." she all but yells at him, "Is he still there. He is
isn't he." she squeals. Derek rolls his eyes. "You're gonna keep him! Yes! I
knew it!"
"Erica." Derek whispers harshly.
"No. Don't even try to deny it, he's still there?"
"Yes." Derek utters on a sigh, "He's still here. Can I go back to sleep now."
"Hell no, get dressed! We're going to breakfast. Bring your new boyfriend."
"He's not my-" Just then Jordan pokes his head into the room bleary eyes and
hair a mess.
"Hey, I gotta pee." He says, "Sorry, you're on the phone. Oh is that Erica."
"Is that him? HEY JORDAN! GET IT BOY!" Erica screams over the line. Derek pulls
the phone away from his ear and spares a pained look to Jordan.
"Yes, this is Erica."
Jordan chuckles and shakes his head, "I really do gotta pee though." he says
grinning.
"Right, right, here." Derek says quickly getting up and leaving Jordan to it.
"So, tell me all about it." Erica continues once Derek has made it out to the
living room and plopped himself on the couch. "is he a screamer?" Derek can see
the face she's making right now.
"Have I reminded you lately that you are disgusting."
"Hey, just because I'm not a prude like you-"
"I'm not a prude."
"Yes you are Derek, just admit it. Live in your truth."
"Fuck you. It was amazing, yes he's a screamer, I probably have about a dozen
noise complaints coming my way, and I dont even care because it was that good.
Alright, you happy."
"Wow, thanks." Jordan says surprising Derek coming up behind him, "I'll try not
to be so loud next time."
"Oh shit." Derek says ears burning. "I'm sorry please pretend you didn't hear
that." Derek is humiliated.
"Oh please, that's the best thing someones said about me in ages. You weren't
too bad yourself mister." Jordan is grinning smugly, Erica is cackling wildly
over the phone and Derek wants to hurl himself out a window.
"Erica-" Derek attempts to interrupt her snorting laughter. "Erica!"
"Yes Der, what is it."
"Breakfast. When." He says irritation rising.
"I mean, you don't have to come if you wanna get some extra loving in this
morning. I won't be mad."
"Erica! goddamnit."
"Yeah yeah. Meet us at the diner in-" She pauses, "Half an hour. You should be
able to squeeze in a quickie before then right."
"When I see you. I am going to kill you."
"Try me"
"You're an asshole. I hate you. I'll see you in a bit." Derek goes to hang up,
only to realize that Erica beat him to the punch. He shakes his head before
turning to Jordan and forcing a smile.
"You up for breakfast."
"Definitely." Jordan leans down and plants a kiss on Dereks forehead. "I'll go
get changed."
"You can borrow something clean if you don't want to wear the same thing from
last night."
"Thanks!" Jordan shouts over his shoulder as he heads into the bedroom to get
dressed.
Derek thinks to himself at that moment, I could do this, this could work. He's
comfortable around Jordan. It's totally different from the way that Stiles
comforts him. With Stiles it's like a piece of him he didn't know was missing.
Jordan is just peace. Uncomplicated, and easy. Derek wants this so bad. But he
can't deny, the growing feelings he has for Stiles are not just gone. He
worries that they may never be gone. There is just something there that Derek
can't quite quantify. Can't quite name. But it's so real, and somehow,
unbeknownst to him, has managed to burrow deep to where he can feel it in his
bones. Even now, in this sweet pseudo-domestic moment with Jordan, Stiles is
still there, under his skin. Even his absence has a vibration, and energy, that
Derek can feel.
Derek pinches the bridge of his nose, and tries to drag himself back to the
present. He throws himself to his feet, and makes his way back to the room to
get dressed too.
===============================================================================
Breakfast is, as expected, humiliating. Derek regrets the choice almost
immediately, when Erica winks at them both as soon as they walk in.
"I'm already so sorry." Derek whispers into Jordans ear as they walk up.
Boyd is thankfully silent in his judgement. Bless his stoic nature. But he
can't help but cast a look at Derek, then meaningfully glance at Jordans neck,
the evidence of Dereks handiwork practically a necklace around his throat. He
smirks and then goes back to his meal. Derek's ears are burning, but he's also
a bit proud, having marked Jordan up like that. He can't honestly stake any
claim to him, they barely know each other, but Derek thinks, if Jordan would
let him, he would like to.
Derek rests a hand on Jordans thigh under the table as Erica continues to
regale them with tales of her adventures the night before after Derek and
Jordan left.
"So after the bar closed, we all went back to that guy with the nose rings
place, and when I tell you we drank him out of house and home, I mean it. Then
that chick, the brunette one I was dancing with when you guys went home to
fuck, she was there too. So I pulled her in the bathroom and we made out for
like hours, but then she passed out so I left. It was fucking crazy."
Derek looks at heer and just shakes his head. He's familiar with Boyd and
Ericas semi open relationship. It still weirds him out a bit, but they're happy
so Derek is happy for them. Jordan on the other hand looks mortified.
"Um, Boyd. How are you okay with this."
He just grins and says, "She does what she wants, and I do too, but at the end
of the day, shes coming home to me. Thats all that matters."
"Thats right baby." Erica coos, before leaning over and basically sitting in
Boyds lap while they make out.
Jordan and Derek share an uncomfortable look for a moment, Jordan seeming a bit
shy for a second before raising his eyebrows and leaning over and pressing a
brief kiss to Dereks lips. He then leans in a bit, next to Dereks ear and says,
"I don't think I want to share you with anyone."
"Good." Derek says feeling more than a little flushed.
===============================================================================
After breakfast, Jordan heads home, mostly to change clothes as they have
already made plans to make dinner at Dereks that night.
Derek runs their exchange earlier at breakfast over in his head. Jordan wants
to keep him. And Derek feels the same, but the fact is that Derek is still
split. He wants Jordan, but he wants Stiles too. Even knowing that anything
with Stiles is impossible he still craves that feeling he gets when they are
alone, just sitting together.
He's going to put a stop to it though. Nothing has really happened, but Derek
can already see where this path leads, and it's nowhere good. He thinks it's
stupid and cliche really, because of all the underage students he could have
developed feelings for, he went for the sheriff's son. Of fucking course. As if
he needed another reason why this whole thing is just a road to ruin, thats
seals it. Derek makes up his mind about this as he is on the way to the grocery
store to pick up a few ingredients Jordan requested for their dinner. Derek is
not much of a cook. He can feed himself, but he wouldn't subject his worst
enemy to his cooking. It's edible, but just barely. Jordan apparently loves to
cook and has offered to prepare a meal for Derek tonight. Derek is glad to have
a home cooked meal after many weekends spent scrolling through Grub Hub for
dinner.
In the store, Derek blindly walks through the aisles, already knowing where
most things were that he needed, This is the same market he used to come to
with his mother when he was a child. As he is grabbing some fresh garlic in the
produce section, Derek panics when he spots Stiles a few aisles over examining
a head of lettuce. He debates going over to say hello. It's a knee jerk
reaction really. His instinct these days is to be as close to Stiles as he can,
as often as he can. He thinks better of it however and quickly grabs the first
clove that looks decent before attempting to stealth over to the packaged
meats. He fails of course focusing so much on avoiding Stiles that he neglects
to ignore the giant fucking pile of tomatoes and sends them cascading to the
floor. Derek is mortified, everyone in the whole section (Stiles included) is
looking at him. One of the employees comes running over desperately trying to
help Derek as he scrambles to try and pick fallen fruits up. He manages to
squash at least two of them in the process and winds up with tomato flesh
somehow in his hair too. For a brief moment Derek considers dropping everything
and just making a run for it, but a familiar voice stops him.
"So this is what your life is like outside of teacher world huh?" Stiles snarks
before bending down to help Derek with the mess.
"Oh god, you don't have to help me Stiles."
"You really don't" grumbles the annoyed looking grocer.
"Right." Stiles says straightening up. Derek stands too casting an apologetic
glance at the poor man trying to rescue his produce.
"Sorry about-"
"Yeah, yeah, you're alright." The man says waving them off.
"So, imagine running into you here." Stiles says grinning
"Imagine." Derek grumps. He feels like the hugest idiot in the world.
"So what are you shopping for." Derek thinks for a moment that this is the
moment. All he has to do is tell Stiles that his boyfriend is coming over too
cook him dinner, and Stiles will take the hint and that will be that. It's
convenient, but it's still a lie, and despite everything, Derek thinks he
doesn't want to lie to Stiles too.
"A friend," He pauses because that feels wrong too, "is coming over to cook
dinner tonight."
"Cool." Stiles says. He clearly caught Dereks hesitation, but isn't calling him
on it. "So how was the clubbing last night. Did you go to Jungle or what?"
"It was nice. We didn't go to Jungle." The fact that Stiles even knowswhat
Jungle is is troubling to him, but he doesn't press. This whole conversation
feels so awkward. Derek is dealing with combating urges to run far away or take
a few steps closer to feel the warmth from Stiles body a little closer. In the
end he remains frozen and tight lipped.
"Well, if you're not doing anything after dinner, Scott and I were planning to
go to the movies? And well Scott is bringing Allison, and I know they're just
gonna make out the whole time. So maybe, if you want to that is, you could come
too and we can make fun of it or them or whatever." And that was bold. Stiles
has all but asked him out on a double date, and Derek has to give him points
for having the balls to even ask, but this seems like when he needs to draw the
line.
"Stiles, as nice as that sounds, I can't be hanging out with you outside of
school."
"It's cool. I mean it's not like I'm gonna tell on you or anything and Scott
and Allison too. They both like you too."
"Stiles," Derek pauses frustrated, "Us hanging out, us doing anything"
emphasizes hoping that Stiles will get it, "It's illegal. It's wrong. I can't-
we can't do this Stiles."
Stiles backs off a step (and when did they get so close) "No, no I get it."
Stiles says sounding chastised, "I just-" Stiles pauses and looks Derek in the
eye, he's pleading. Derek knows for sure that he's not imagining it, that
Stiles was right there with him feeling just as he was, and this- it fucking
hurts. He can see Stiles heart breaking bit by bit as he realizes what Derek is
saying.
"Stiles-"
"No!" He says angrily, "It's fine, really whatever. I'll see you on Monday Mr.
Hale." Stiles abandons his cart and all but runs out the door.
"Fuck. Fuck!" Derek kicks at the ground and paces in a circle before giving in
and chasing after him. He can't leave it like this. He can't have Stiles hating
him. It just feels wrong.
He catches up with him just as he's opening the door to his beat up old Jeep.
"Stiles, please wait."
"What." Stiles spits. Derek stands in front of him pacing like a caged lion.
He's trying to get his words together, but they just won't come.
At last he decides on, "I can't come to the movie with you tonight. I really do
have plans after dinner as well. But maybe next weekend we can- as friends
Stiles. Nothing more than that. We- we can be friends, but more than that, you
have to understand, I just can't. I'm not going to lie to you and act like
there's nothing more going on here, but you know we can't. You have to know
that Stiles."
"Okay." Stiles says
"Okay?"
"Yeah. I mean, it's not what either of us wants obviously, but it'll have to be
enough. So friends." Stiles looks around the parking lot quickly before leaning
in and pressing his lips against Dereks. "I'm sorry," He says when he pulls
away "I had to at least once. I promise I won't again."
Derek doesn't say anything, can't, he's totally paralyzed, his heart feels like
its about to jump out of chest.
"So we can make plans on Monday then?"
"Yeah" Derek says lamely. He feels drunk.
"Okay, enjoy your dinner Derek." He says before hopping in his truck and
driving off.
Derek stands there for a long time after, praying that he's not just fucked up
monumentally. Part of him is so sure that he's just fucked up, but most of him
is just glad that he's managed to keep at least this with Stiles. It's not
everything, but it's all he can have.
It's not until later, during dinner with Jordan that Derek realizes that Stiles
had called him by his first name instead of Mr. Hale. He can't quite help the
smile that steals across his lips at the thought.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter by alpharagnar_(kuronoir)
Chapter Notes
     First of all, huge apologies for the long delay with this chapter. It
     really just didn't want to be born, but I finally managed it. Here
     have an apology_graphic. Reminder to check the tags as they have been
     updated.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Being friends with Stiles is surprisingly easy. Being around Stiles is good for
Derek, whatever form it takes, but Derek thought that having acknowledged their
mutual attraction would make it near impossible to not go there with one
another. As it is,they seem to both be willing to respect the boundaries
they've set up. Happy to even, if it means they can spend some time together.
The movie is nice. Stiles chooses some dumb action comedy starring Channing
Tatum. They travel two towns over to a different theatre where they are
unlikely to run into anyone they know. It's not that anything is going on, this
is clearly just friends hanging out, but they'd rather not risk anyone getting
the wrong idea either way.
Stiles spends the whole movie laughing, open smile on his face, punching Derek
in the shoulder when he doesn't laugh at the right parts. Derek still feels
something warm curl in his belly when Stiles turns the full force of his smile
on him. Even in the darkened theatre, his smile is illuminating. But Derek
wants this, wants to be his friend. He wants it badly enough that he manages to
ignore any trace of lust that may creep into the corners of his mind. Fights
off any foolish romantic urge he may have to drape his arm over the back of
Stiles seat, to lean in closer and smell that strange mix of fresh sweat and
laundry detergent that seems to follow Stiles everywhere. He does this gladly,
because Stiles makes it so easy. He makes it worth it. He makes Derek want to
try.
When the movie is over, and they've made their way into the crisp early evening
air, sun hanging low on the horizon, Stiles stops them just before they reach
the car (they both rode in Dereks Camaro, leaving Stiles' Jeep parked in front
of Dereks house).
"Thank you for this." He says, suddenly more serious than he's been all night.
"Of course."
"I mean it Derek. I really like spending time with you. I know we can't do… the
other thing, but this is really nice. I like being your friend, even if most of
our conversation is really just me talking at you."
"I like it to. I like listening to you talk."
"Good, 'cause if not, I don't see much of a future for us."
Derek laughs at that, "Well as long as you don't mind me not saying much at
all."
"You say plenty Derek. You have the most expressive eyebrows I've ever seen."
Derek raises one brow at him before realizing what he's doing and laughing
again. He can't remember laughing this much, this easily with anyone in a long
time.
"C'mon, lets go home." He says, shoving a smug looking Stiles playfully towards
the car.
===============================================================================
When they pull up in front of the apartment building Derek is living in until
the work on his house is finished, Stiles hesitates before getting out of the
car.
"What is it." Derek asks, sensing that Stiles probably has about a million
thoughts running through his head. He'd been silent since they got off at the
exit for Beacon Hills.
"So- I mean, when are we gonna-"
"Hang out again?"
"Yeah."
"Anytime you want. We can make plans now if you want, or we can just wing it.
It's up to you."
"Next Friday?" Stiles says too quickly, "I mean maybe I can come over here and
bring a movie rather than driving to the other side of the planet."
"Sounds good. Next Friday it is."
"You sure. I mean, I know you have a life other people." Derek knows he means
Jordan. Derek had told Stiles about him earlier in the night. It felt like a
confession, but Stiles seemed glad for him, told him that he knew Jordan too,
that he seemed like a really good guy.
"I know, but I want to. I mean, I enjoy hanging out with you, it's not like a
sacrifice or something. I have plenty of time to spend with my other friends,
and with Jordan, and with you."
"Okay then. Just tell me if I'm being annoying."
"You could never."
"Please," Stiles scoffs, "wait a month. You'll dying to get rid of me" Derek
just shakes his head, smiling fondly at him. "So, it's still early, I have
homework- thanks for that by the way-"
"Welcome." Dereks interjects with a huff.
"But what are you gonna do? Are you gonna call Jordan. You should call Jordan."
Stiles waggles his eyebrows
"Umm, you are not subtle. You're telling me I should have sex tonight?"
"Sex, with your ridiculously good looking maybe-boyfriend who I happen to know
has off tonight and is probably sitting at home right now gnawing on furniture
waiting for you to call him so you guys can bang?"
Derek cocks an eyebrow inviting Stiles to continue.
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"Oh shut up." Derek laughs as he gets out of the car. Stiles follows.
"Just, saying. I'm putting out so-" There's a brief slightly uncomfortable
silence at that. "So I guess I'll see you in class Monday." Stiles says,
suddenly looking a bit nervous again, rubbing a hand over the back of his head.
"Yeah."
"Any chance on an extension on that early Greek architecture project, it's just
that me and Scott were planning a Call of Duty-thon and well-"
"Don't push it kid." Derek says around a smirk.
"Hey, worth a shot, right?" Stiles says around a smirk of his own.
"Yeah, good try."
"So, uh" Stiles kicks the gravel, "Well my only other friend type experience is
with Scott, and Scott is a major hugger, like he hugs everyone for everything,
and I don't know if that's like a thing we should do, or if we should shake
hands, or high five, or-"
"Oh god, c'mere" Derek says stepping forward to wrap Stiles in his arms. Stiles
immediately hugs him back relief flooding through him, like he'd been expecting
Derek to say no. Like Derek can say no to anything Stiles wants (well most
things anyway he thinks as an aside). The hug is brief but tight, and Derek can
gladly say that he resists the temptation to lean in and breathe Stiles in. He
does not let his hands wander, or press just that little bit closer to turn the
hug from something friendly into something with intent. Because that's not what
friends do.
And Derek is determined to be the best friend Stiles could ask for.
"Well, I'm gonna go then." Stiles says once they separate.
"Alright." Derek replies, then after a pause, "I'm gonna call my ridiculously
good looking maybe-boyfriend and request that he stop gnawing on his
furniture."
"Ha! You do that. Have fun."
"You too Stiles."
Derek watches him climb into his beat up old Jeep and drive off with a wave.
This is good Derek thinks, this can work.
There's a brief moment of dread, where that old ugly self dout appears, tries
to tell him he;s wrong, that he can never have good things in his life. That he
will just ruin it, will ruin him if he gets to close. But then he thinks of
Stiles blinding smiles this evening, his wit and sarcasm, and all because he
wants to spend time with Derek, just because. Derek shakes it off, feeling a
wave of unfamiliar confidence, and remembers Stiles request of him. He heads up
the stairs to his apartment and texts Jordan to come over if he wants.
===============================================================================
When Jordan arrives about an hour later, the sun has already set. Derek greets
him at the door with a kiss.
"What have you been up to?" Jordan asks as he steps inside and toes off his
shoes.
Derek hesitates, not sure how to explain his friendship with Stiles. Even
though both he and Stiles know that they aren't doing anything wrong, he
doesn't expect anyone else to get that. He decides that staying close to the
truth is probably best since it's unlikely that he and Stiles will be able to
keep their friendship a secret forever. Franky, he likes Jordan, he wants to
tell him, he deserves to know.
"You know the Stilinskis?"
"You mean my boss? Yeah I know."
Derek forgot for a moment that Jordan is a deputy under Sheriff Stilinski. Of
course he is. "Well Stiles is in one of my classes now, but I knew him when he
was barely more than a baby. We actually met the day his mother died."
"Oh man."
"Yeah, well, it's kinda weird but, I guess you could say we've become friends.
Shared life experience and all that. Anyway, he's a great kid you know."
"Yeah he's annoying as shit sometimes, but he's a bright kid. Kind. I always
see him looking out for his dad. Brings him lunch to the station on the
weekends sometimes."
"Yeah, well, I took him to the movies earlier."
"Aw that's really great. You're so sweet." There's no judgement or suspicion.
BUt that's always how it is with Jordan. Jordan looks at him like he's the best
thing in the world, and Dderek has no idea what he did to deserve it.
Derek almost feels guilty, almost, but in the face of Jordans blinding smile,
the rest seems not to matter. The mess that happened to get him and Stiles to
the place they are now seems unimportant. He really is just friendly with
Stiles, mutual attraction notwithstanding, he really just cares about the kid
and wants to see him happy, and there's nothing to be ashamed about there.
Derek brings his attention back to the present takes in Jordan looking at him
with mild amusement, small smile curling his lips.
"So, you want a drink or…" Derek trails off at the dark look that passes over
Jordans face.
"Maybe later." He says grinning as he grabs Derek by the belt and drags him
over to the couch.
Derek plops down on the cushion, and watches with rapt attention as Jordan
slowly pulls off his shirt, and begins to shimmy out of his pants.
"A strip tease? You're too good for me." Derek says grinning. He smiling, but
he means it, he really can't believe he's gotten so lucky to have found Jordan,
to be able to keep him around. He really has to call Erica and thank her
properly for introducing them. When Jordan is just down to his socks and briefs
he leans down to straddle Dereks hips, and presses a long slow kiss to his
lips.
"You're a good man Derek." He says smiling warmly down at him.
"I'm really not." Derek replies with a self deprecating sigh.
"You are, or I wouldn't be here." Jordan grinds his hips down on Dereks rapidly
hardening cock. Derek groans.
"Okay, whatever you say, just, don't stop."
"I mean it Derek." Jordan says biting at Dereks ear. "You're a good man, you
deserve good things." Jordan pulls back at that, looks Derek right in the eye,
runs a hand through his hair. "I want to be something good for you."
Derek realizes at that moment, whatever he may have thought Jordan would be
when they met; a distraction, a warm body to console him as he missed Stiles, a
replacement for the person he really wanted to be with, he is in fact so much
more. His feelings for Jordan may not have arisen in the best circumstances,
but they are real. Jordan is important to him in a way completely separate from
Stiles. At the same time, however, Derek realizes that he and Jordan are not
built to last. There is an expiration date on this happiness, but it is
happiness.
This is not the face of the man he's going to spend the rest of his life with,
but for now, in this moment, it's good. Jordan is something good for him.
Derek surges up to kiss him again, deep and messy. They fuck right there on the
couch, Jordans briefs caught around his ankle, Dereks pants bunched around his
knees. It's desperate and hot, and afterwards Derek is exhausted, but so
satisfied.
He doesn't know what he did to deserve this. A man like Jordan in his arms,
still being able to keep his friendship with Stiles. He's happy. It's messy and
if he tried to explain it to anyone else, they probably wouldn't get it, but
Derek can't seem to care about that. He's going to hold on to this happiness
he's found as tightly as he can, and not let go.
===============================================================================
The days turn into weeks, turn into months, and things continue to be good for
Derek. It still blows his mind every day that he wakes up and can smile about
his life. Sometimes he thinks of the pressing heavy loneliness he felt when the
wounds from losing his family were fresher. It seems like a distant memory now.
It's closing in on two years, and while no amount of time is ever going to be
enough for him to stop missing them, for that wound to close completely, for
him to feel completely normal again, he feels a little less off balance. A
little more able to bear the weight and not cry out in his grief.
Derek and Stiles hang out a few times here and there. Mostly Stiles will come
past his place after school and sit and do homework in his living room while
Derek grades papers. It's friendly and low pressure. It's just good to be in
his presence. Derek has even taken on more of a mentorship role in Stiles life.
He'll come to Derek with problems about school and other teachers, or his
personal life. He laments his loser social status (Derek tells him he thought
the same of himself in highschool, Stiles snarks back that not much has changed
then.), and even tells Derek that he's actually really afraid to lose his
virginity. That was an awkward conversation because Derek can't help but think
that if he had made a different choice, if he'd allowed his baser instincts to
control him, he might have been the one to take Stiles virginity. He thinks of
it now and is so grateful that he didn't, didn't ruin the possibility of having
this with him instead. Besides, Stiles deserves this too. To freak out about
sex like every other teenager, and to go on that journey with someone his own
age, with the same fear and trepidation he is feeling. Someone who can grow and
learn right along with him.
Occasionally they'll hang out on the weekends too, and see a movie or
something, but most of his weekends are spent with Jordan. Jordan who is sweet
and kind and has found a place in Derek's heart he didn't know was there in the
first place. Who treats him like a king, like something of value. Sometimes
Derek can't take it, but he's learning to accept what Jordan gives him, and
hopes he's doing right by him in return.
Derek sometimes visits Jordan at work on the weekends when he has nothing to do
during the day. They've finally said the boyfriend word about each other, and
it feels nice to put a name to what they have, it feels natural. There is no
hand wringing or anxiety about it. They're not just fucking, they're not
casual, Jordan is officially in a relationship with Derek, Facebook even says
so.
So when Derek shows up sometimes at the station to bring his boyfriend some
lunch (and maybe sneak a makeout in the broom closet) he's usually greeted with
a smile and directed to wherever Jordan has holed himself up to work. Jordan is
dedicated to his job. Considering the ridiculously low crime rate in Beacon
Hills, he's either doing an amazing job, or just got really lucky when he
picked this town to come work. Either way, Derek is proud of him, but sometimes
when he finds something that resembles a case, he forgets to come up for air.
He and the sheriff work very closely together, and it's pretty much accepted
that Jordan will take over the job when John retires.
John has gotten to know Derek a little better these past couple months as well.
When Derek is unsuccessful in pulling Jordan away from his desk John will
sometimes come and chat with him a bit. The first time had been frankly
terrifying. Derek worried about what to say about Stiles. He knew he had to say
something, he couldn't keep a secret from the man if he tried. He doesn't
manage to say anything that time, or the time after that, too unsure of how to
bring it up and remain casual. As it turns out, he didn't need to have worried
at all, the sheriff brings it up all on his own.
"So, my son told me about the extra time you're spending with him."
Derek froze, unsure how to respond.
"I appreciate you making sure he's doing well. I know- even though it's been
years, I still remember that day, in the hospital. I never thanked you properly
then for looking out for him. And you still are apparently. I really appreciate
that."
"Of course Mr. Stilinski. Stiles is a great kid, I'm glad to… keep an eye on
him."
"It's John, Derek, you're a grown man now. Hey, why don't you bring Parrish
over for dinner tonight? Unless you have other plans. I don't cook, but Stiles
is making his famous meatloaf."
"What's that about meatloaf?" Jordan says finally pulling himself away from his
work and making his way over to them. He places a brief kiss on Derek cheek in
greeting, before looking at the sheriff expectantly.
"I was just thanking Derek for looking out for my son, and inviting the both of
you over for dinner."
"Oh wow, we'd love to. Right Der?"
"Yeah, sounds great." Derek is only having a minor melt down. No big deal. He's
never hung out with Stiles unless it was just the two of them. What if it's
obvious that he's attracted to him. What if all the little things that he
thinks he's been doing a really good job of hiding are only too apparent under
the scrutiny of two police officers.
"Great, be there around 6 okay?" John says snapping Derek out of his spiraling
panic.
"Great." Derek mumbles, "See you then."
===============================================================================
He texts Stiles as soon as he is able to warn him about dinner.
What, OMG, I'm so sorry. Did he ambush you?
No. It was fine, he just invited us over. I wanted you to know before I just
show up at your house
No thats cool. Jordan is coming too?
Yeah. Thats okay right
Why wouldn't it be. Maybe I'll bring someone too.
Who Scott.
No, not Scott… I may have.. met someone?
Dereks heart does not stop beating for a second.
Oh? Thats nice. Who is he.
His name's Matt. You may have seen him around, but he's not in any of your
classes
Thats nice. Ill look forwards to meeting him
Meh, I probably won't bring him tonight, not sure I want him to meet dad just
yet. If the glare doesn't scare him off the shot gun probably will
Fair enough. You know I'm going to find out all there is to know about him
though right
I'd expect no less. Use your teacher powers.
So I'll see you tonight.
Yeah, get ready man, my meatloaf is amazing
So I've heard. I'm looking forward to it
Derek looks up from his phone. He knows he should be happy for Stiles. Happy
that he's dating someone. It is what he wanted for him, and it's hardly fair of
him- Stiles has been nothing but supportive of his relationship with Jordan-
but even though Derek can't be totally sure, he thinks that he knows who this
Matt kid is. And while there is nothing bad about him on the surface, the one
time he saw him in the hallway, there was something about the look in the kids
eye that gave him chills.
He wonders idly when they started seeing each other. It can't have been very
long. Surely Stiles would have told Derek sooner if they had been. Stiles tells
Derek everything, too much sometimes. So this, this is a surprise, to find out
after the fact. Derek is actually a little hurt, and a lot worried. Considering
the secrets that he and Stiles have together, the fact that Matt has been kept
a secret from even him for any period of time is troubling. He tries to tell
himself that it's just old jealousy bothering him, residual feelings that he's
accepted are not going to go away at this point, but he determines to look into
Matt and make sure that everything is on the up and up regardless. They're
friends, but Derek also feels a sense of responsibility towards him, only
bolstered by the faith his father has put in him to look out for Stiles. Derek
knows he will never allow anything to happen to Stiles if he can do anything to
stop it.
===============================================================================
That night, at dinner, things are going well. The food is delicious, and who
knew that Stiles could even cook. Apparently this is a treat for the sheriff,
as Stiles doesn't usually let him get away with eating anything that didn't
grow from the ground. He's imposed a diet of rabbit food on him to keep his
heart healthy. Derek understands, if he had any family left, he'd do anything
in his power to keep them alive and healthy too.
During the meal, John regales them all with embarrassing stories of Stiles'
childhood while Stiles puts on an air of affected indignation. He's not really
embarrassed though, preens under the attention. It's clear how much love there
is in the Stilinski family. Derek is sure that losing Claudia brought these two
that much closer. He never really knew her, but he thinks she's be happy seeing
her husband and son now, how they care for eachother, how they're become a
team. A little while into the meal though, he seems to check out. He keeps
checking his phone, and missing parts of the conversation.
"Stiles, tell Scott if he wants to talk he's more than welcome to come join
us." John says eyeing the phone in Stiles hand. From the fierce blush that
spreads across his cheeks, and his lack of response Derek figures that he
hasn't been texting Scott, but rather, his new mysterious boyfriend Matt. Derek
squints, unsettled even at the thought of him. He tries to let it slide but
that feeling just won't go away.
After dinner, John tells everyone to relax in the livingroom while he cleans up
in the kitchen. Jordan insists on joining him, and Derek tries to come as well,
but Jordan shoos him off telling him to go keep Stiles company.
"I've got this babe, go hang out with your protege."
In the livingroom, Stiles is completely silent, the only sound his thumbs
rapidly tapping away on his phone. Derek decides to take this opportunity to
ask him about his new secret relationship.
"How's Matt?" Derek asks sneaking up behind him
"Shit, Derek you scared me."
"Not sorry. What's going on? You've been texting him all night."
"Well-" Stiles looks sheepish, "I kinda forgot that we were supposed to have
dinner tonight. When you texted me you reminded me, but I'd made plans to see
him tonight and well… he's a little upset."
"You told him you were cooking for your father?" Derek asks.
"Yeah I mean he gets that I think. He just said he'd planned something for us
and now it's ruined."
"Wow, sounds like a great guy." Derek scoffs. He already hates this kid.
"Don't be like that. He was being thoughtful and I messed that up. It's my
fault, I was just stupid and forgetful."
"Don't ever call yourself stupid. If this guy is making you feel bad about
yourself, maybe you don't need to be with him." Derek and Stiles are pretty
much matched in the self loathing and self deprecation departments, but for
Stiles, it's usually couched in a joke. Not like this. Stiles sounds like he
means it. It makes Derek even more uncomfortable, just one more thing that
Derek is adding to the list of things that he doesn't like about this
situation.
"What are you jealous." Stiles spits. The anger is new too. Stiles is almost
always pretty easy going about most things. Certainly more so than Derek. But
here he is, red faced and angry, and they've barely said two sentences. Derek
is not even sure who he is talking to right now.
"I'm not- no, Stiles. I- I just worry about you is all. I want to make sure
that you're happy."
"Derek-" He takes a deep breath, settling himself, "I like him, he likes me. It
feels nice to want someone and for them to want you back and for it to be a
simple as that. You have that, with Jordan. I want that too. I want to be able
to be with someone, and I want you to be happy for me."
Derek pauses. He is absolutely sure that there is something not right about
Matt. He hasn't even really met the guy, but there is something in Stiles
demeanour, something in the way he talks about him. Derek knows the warning
signs. His blood is boiling at the very idea of someone hurting Stiles. Derek
isn't sure it's gotten there yet, maybe it never will. But either way, Derek is
not letting Stiles out of his sight until he knows for sure.
"Okay." Derek sighs, "I'll be happy for you, once I've met him."
"Oh god Derek c'mon."
"I'm serious. I want to meet him. I'm not your dad, I won't bring a gun, but I
can't promise I won't threaten him."
"Derek you can't be real right now."
"Oh I'm very real. When are you planning to see him next."
"Well, actually, tonight?"
"It's already tonight."
"Uhhh, I was going to sneak out later." Stiles whispers conspiratorially. Derek
just fixes him with a look and a raised eyebrow.
"Don't give me that look. Like you never snuck out when you were 17."
"You're 16 Stiles, at least for the next month or so, and just because I did
doesn't mean I have to condone it when you do."
"Derek, please stop pretending to be a grown up. Are you gonna give me a ride
over there or not."
Derek heaves out a put upon sigh, but eventually grunts his acquiescence.
"Awesome! My virginity thanks you." Stiles grins wide and lascivious.
"Oh my god, am I driving you to a booty call. I can't believe this."
"It's not a booty call. Matt bought flowers."
===============================================================================
"I am not happy about this." Derek grumbles.
He feels like a criminal. After taking Jordan home and then driving back to his
apartment to change (Stiles requested he wear all black so they could be like
spies), he headed back to the Stilinski house and spotted Stiles gracelessly
climbing out his window.
"C'mon, this is fun."
"Your father would kill me if he knew about this."
"I think this is about last on the list of things my father would kill you
for." Stiles says levelling him with a knowing smirk. "C'mon, where's your
car."
"This is the worst idea I've ever had." Derek grumbles leading the way.
"Whatever, you're the one that wanted to be nosy, so here we are." Stiles says
sliding into the passenger seat.
"You're the one hiding a secret boyfriend. What am I supposed to just not meet
him. Does Scott even know about him."
Stiles shuts his mouth on whatever reply he was going to make and guiltily
looks out the window.
"Stiles!" Derek accuses
"What, it's still really new, and Scott's always busy with Allison these days.
We don't really see much of each other anyway."
"I'm not busy."
"Alright, I get it, enough with the lecture. I'm sorry. You're meeting him now
alright. Just be cool alright."
Derek just shakes his head and follows the instructions Stiles gives him to get
to where Matt lives. Apparently his parents are out of town so they will have
the house to themselves. Derek said he'd just drop him off, meet the guy and
head home until Stiles called him to drive him home, but Derek has no intention
of leaving the vicinity of the house.
When they arrive, Stiles runs up to the front door and knocks. The guy who
answers the door is definitely the same guy Derek had seen in the hall that day
that gave him the creeps. He's attractive, curly brown hair handsome features,
but there is something in his eyes, a glint of something not quite right. Derek
would almost say it's mischievous, but he sincerely doubts it's something so
innocent as that.
Derek crosses his arms and does his best to look intimidating (it's not a
difficult task for him, Jordan's gotten him back in the gym lately and he's had
to go up a shirt size already) glowering and making no attempt to speak or be
sociable at all.
"Who's he." Matt says looking irritated, attempting a glower of his own. This
is already going well.
"That's-" Stiles coughs, "That's Derek. He's a- family friend. Also a teacher.
He gave me a ride here."
"What, is your Jeep broken down. You need to get rid if that thing."
"Hey, Roscoe is my baby. And no, it's not broken down. Derek is just being
nosy, he wanted to meet you and well, yeah, here we are." Derek makes fun of
the Jeep too sometimes, but it's never mean spirited, he knows it used to
belong to his mother, he knows that hell will freeze over before Stiles parts
with it. Matt apparently can't be bothered to care that the car means something
to Stiles, since he so casually disregards it as a piece of junk.
"You should have told me you were bringing someone."
"It's cool, he's cool. And now he's met you- sort of- and now he's leaving
right?"
Derek just stands there and continues glaring. He really does not like this
guy. There are alarm bells screaming at him, every muscle in his body is
tensed, wanting to grab Stiles up and drag him back to the car. After a moment
of awkward shuffling from Stiles and competing glares from Derek and Matt,
Derek finally speaks.
"Call me when you're ready to go home." He says eyes not straying from Matt.
"Alright. Will do. Bye." Stiles shoos him off the porch and follows Matt
inside.
Derek returns to sit in his car, gripping the steering wheel tight glaring at
the front door. If he even had a thought of leaving, or even trying to sleep a
little it's long gone. Matt is bad news. Stiles may not see it, but Derek does.
This isn't jealousy speaking, he's sure now. He wants to respect Stiles
choices, but this is bad. Matt is dangerous. He's definitely no good for
Stiles, that much is sure.
Derek doesn't have to wait long. About 20 minutes later Stiles comes storming
out of the house, mouth set in a grim line.
He plops into the passenger seat and commands, "Drive me home."
"Stiles what happened." Derek is thinking the worst, already ready to jump out
of his seat and beat the hell out of this kid if he hurt Stiles.
"Please." Stiles says, "can we just go."
"Stiles." Derek says levelling him with a look.
"I-"He pauses, apparently to gather his thoughts, "He didn't like that you
brought me here. He said it was weird and unromantic. I tried to explain that
you're just looking out for me and I wanted you guys to meet anyway. You're
important to me, and I tried telling him that it was a big deal to have him
meet you, but he wasn't having it, and I got mad and left. That's all. He's
being a jerk. I mean I get why, but we're kind of a package deal at this point
i think, and- just whatever. He'll get over it, but as far as tonight, I will
remain a virgin so there's that."
Derek, is still stuck on Stiles calling them a package deal. That's- well
that's something. He hadn't realized they'd become so close, but now that he
thinks about it, the idea of not including Stiles in his life seems- just
wrong. He decides not to press anymore.
"Alright, lets get you home them."
"Thanks Derek."
"Sure, anytime I can prevent you from having sex with that jerk, please don't
hesitate to call."
"Der, don't be an asshole."
"I know." Derek says placing a friendly hand on Stiles thigh. He's not making a
move or anything, he just wants to reassure Stiles is all. "Seriously though. I
hope you know that you can call me for anything, day or night alright. I
promise to try not to judge, but either way, I'll be there."
Stiles favors him with a small smile and nod as they pull off.
===============================================================================
Matt Daehler is a senior who transferred in from a school in southern
California at the beginning of this school year. His record from his previous
school is clean, and according to the other teachers Derek has asked, he is an
excellent student. Timely, organized, intelligent. He doesn't, however, seem to
have any friends. As in no friends at all, whatsoever. He never speaks to
anyone in class, is never seen with anyone in the halls, nothing. That of
course has changed recently when Stiles started hanging around with him.
As of late the two are hardly ever apart. After the little fiasco that night
with Derek, apparently they resolved their issues and are doing well again. As
well as they ever were to begin with anyway, which Derek suspects is not very.
Derek is pretty sure they've never actually been doing well. He's no expert on
healthy relationships, but he does know that Stiles hasn't spent any time with
him at all over the past few weeks outside of the occasional dinner that the
sheriff has insisted Derek and Jordan join them for (Derek would like to think
John invites them because he enjoys their the company, but he's pretty sure
it's in large part because that's the only time Stiles lets him have red meat).
He also knows that John is beginning to worry about Stiles, has asked Derek if
he's doing alright on more than a few occasions, to which Derek has only been
able to lamely reply "I'm keeping an eye on him.". Right now he knows that he
hates the way Matt has Stiles crowded up against the lockers in the hall, a
possessive hand sliding down to grab at Stiles' ass. He hates the way that
Stiles face is flush with embarrassment, the way he seems to want to squirm
away, but almost seems afraid to.
"Stiles." Derek doesn't know when he walked over to them, but suddenly he's
right in their space and has to think of something to say.
"Just the man I was looking for. If you have a minute," he glances at Matt, "I
wanted to talk with you about your Rococo presentation."
"He's busy." Matt says dismissively not even looking at Derek as he speaks.
Derek just waits, looking to Stiles hoping he'll speak up.
"Stiles?" he says again. Stiles looks at Derek then back at Matt who is wearing
a stormy expression, sighs, and then says,
"I'll just be a minute Matt. Promise."
Matt just grumbles and moves out of the way so Stiles can follow Derek.
As soon as they enter the class room and shut the door Stiles is off.
"What do you think you're doing."
Derek is taken aback for a moment. This was not the reaction he was expecting.
"What do you mean?"
"It looks an awful lot like you're trying to come between me and Matt. Derek,
just tell me, are you jealous? Because I thought that ship had long since
sailed."
"No, Stiles that's not it. I just- I don't like him for you. I don't like how
he talks to you. I don't like how he touches you."
"That sounds like jealousy to me Derek."
"Stiles, you just- you haven't been yourself lately. I'm worried, your dad is
worried."
Stiles sucks his teeth pacing the room, "Just, will you back off a little
Derek."
"I'm not going to see you get hurt." Derek is standing his ground.
"Who said he's hurting me."
"Is he?"
Stiles stops pacing and glares at him. "Derek. Butt out okay. Just- we're fine,
I'm fine. Can you leave it alone."
"You didn't answer my question."
"No! Alright, he's not hurting me! Now will you please drop it."
Derek can't let it go. He knows something is going on. "I don't believe you
Stiles. Please, you know you can tell me anything. I won't tell your dad or
anyone. I just want you to be safe."
"Fuck, Derek. Whatever man, just- leave us alone." Stiles storms out of the
room. Matt is waiting just across the hall. He smirks at Derek before wrapping
an arm around Stiles waist and leading him down the hall.
Derek gets up, closes the door slowly, sits back in his chair, and punches his
desk so hard the wood cracks beneath his fist.
===============================================================================
Derek doesn't see Stiles for a week after that. Apparently he got around to
introducing Matt to his father at some point during that time. He only knows
because Jordan brought it up.
"Hey did you know about the guy Stiles has been seeing?" He says one night when
he's over for dinner.
Derek flinches, images of Matt and his smug face flashing through his mind,
"Yeah, I knew." He grumbles.
"You don't like him either." Derek looks up at Jordans serious expression. "I
don't know, I met him this afternoon, he came into the station with Stiles.
Honestly, he just creeped me the fuck out. He was perfectly nice and
respectful, but, there was just something. I don't know."
"I'm keeping an eye on it." Derek says. He's glad for confirmation that he's
not crazy. The fact that Matt seems to be able to turn on the charm at will for
certain people, but is openly hostile towards Derek speaks volumes.
"The sheriff doesn't like him either, but he's also just happy that Stiles
finally brought someone home and he's gonna get to do the shotgun routine he's
been practicing."
Derek meets Jordans eyes again, "Tell him to keep hold of that shotgun. I-
" Derek hesitates, feels like he's betraying some trust with Stiles, but he
wants to tell Jordan his suspicions, that he thinks Matt is hurting Stiles. He
decides to just leave it at a warning, trusting that Jordan will get the hint,
"Just tell the sheriff to watch him closely."
Jordan nods at him, clearly picking up on what Derek didn't say, before
continuing his meal.
===============================================================================
That Saturday is Stiles 17th birthday. Derek isn't sure he'll be welcome by
Stiles since they apparently aren't speaking right now, but John insisted he
come when he tried to make an excuse.
Now he and Jordan are pulling up to the small restaurant they'd rented out for
the occasion. It's Stiles favorite place, he says they make the best curly
fries on the west coast. It's a local diner, near the woods, off a dark road.
The kind of place that unless you live in Beacon Hills you'd never have even
heard of, you'd never see just passing through town.
Derek and Jordan walk together up to the front of the place and immediately
Derek spots Matt chatting animatedly with John. He scans the room for Stiles,
and finds him sitting in a booth in the corner alone, sipping on a coke,
looking pissed.
Jordan sees him looking at Stiles, takes his coat and says, "Go, talk to him."
Derek nods and makes his way over to where Stiles is sulking.
"Happy Birthday?"
"What Derek."
Derek slides into the booth across from him.
"You haven't touched your curly fries."
"Not hungry."
Derek sighs, "Listen Stiles-"
"If you're gonna say you're worried about me again you can just keep it."
"I am worried Stiles, but that's not what I was going to say. I just- I want to
apologize I guess. I'm not sorry for worrying about you, I'm always going to
worry about you, but, I don't know, I just don't want you to be mad at me. I
want you to talk to me again. So, I'm sorry."
Stiles looks up, grinning, "Okay." he says after searching Derek's eyes.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, Derek, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. I
just, I don't know what came over me to be honest. I want you and Matt to get
along, but it's selfish of me to demand it. I don't like not talking to you.
Let's just, be over it alright."
"Good."
They spend the next little while catching up and chatting, eventually Scott and
Allison come over, and Jordan too bringing John and Matt with him. Soon the
whole group is crowded around the table, when Melissa, Scotts mom arrives after
her shift at the hospital is over.
In all the excitement, Derek almost doesn't notice that Matt and Stiles have
slipped away. He glances up and catches them just as they are walking out the
back door of the restaurant. He doesn't even think about it before excusing
himself and going to follow them.
The alley in the back stinks, the big green dumpster over flowing, apparently
the sanitation department doesn't make it out this way too frequently. It's
also dark, nearly pitch black, but Derek still spots Stiles and Matt a little
ways off near the woods.
Matts stance is aggressive, that much he can see as well, he's a little too far
to be able to hear though. He feels like such a creep, but he said he'd keep an
eye on the situation, and so that's what he's going to do. He sticks to the
shadows as he edges a bit closer, until he's within earshot. What he hears
makes him sick.
"You need to stay away from him."
"Derek was just apologizing Matt. It's no big deal. Please."
"No, I see how he looks at you. He wants you, you know."
"Matt, can we please not do this right now."
Matt scoffs before continuing, "You want him too. I can tell."
"Matt!"
"No, shut up. Are you fucking him. You're fucking him aren't you?"
"Matt, no! I-"
"Don't fucking lie to me!" Matt is just shy of yelling now, keeping his voice
down just enough that he won't be heard inside.
"I'm not lying to you Matt, I've never-"
Derek doesn't see the punch, but he hears it. Hears Stiles grunt in pain, the
sickening sound of Matts fist connecting with Stiles stomach. It's not even a
thought, Derek just moves as quickly as his legs will carry him and he's on
Matt in an instant, clocking him across the jaw and knocking him to the ground.
There are no words, Derek is seeing red, he's only dimly aware of Stiles
screaming at him to stop. That's when he realizes that he still punching Matt,
that the warm wetness on his hands is Matts blood.
Derek looks up then, coming back to himself. He sees Stiles slump against a
nearby tree, eyes shimmering with tears he's yet to shed, breathing hard, and
clutching his abdomen.
"Shit" he says as he falls the rest of the way down to sit in front of the
tree, "Shit." He's not even looking at Derek who is still crouched over the
boy. Derek can't take his eyes off him he's afraid to go over to him.
Paralyzed.
"Hey! Der what's the hold up?" Jordan breaks the spell as he steps out back
too, "Oh my god Derek!" He leans back inside to call the sheriff outside.
It's a blur after that. Jordan pulls Derek off of Matt looking at his bruised
and swollen knuckles. The sheriff runs over to Stiles giving him a once over,
looking for where he's hurt. Once he spots the big bruise below his ribs he
grabs his son gently in his arms whispering apologies to him rocking him back
and forth from where they are on the ground. Melissa confirms that Matt is
still alive, but he'll need to go to the hospital.
Through all this, Derek doesn't take his eyes off Stiles. When Stiles
eventually seems to refocus, and catch Derek's eyes, he doesn't look away
either
===============================================================================
Jordan drives him home afterwards. He tries to talk to Derek, soothe him, tell
him that everything is okay and that he did the right thing, and thank god he
was there to stop Matt from going further.
And Derek appreciates all that, he really does, but he can't stop playing it
over in his head. He can't stop seeing Matts bloody mangled face. He can't stop
seeing the expression on Stiles face. He was humiliated. He's not this person
who just descends into a blind rage and nearly kills someone. The thing is,
he's not even sorry. He'd do it again, he'd have gone further if Stiles hadn't
stopped him. Would have killed him. He can't muster up an ounce of regret for
that, but the look on Stiles face. He regrets that. He regrets that he put it
there, The look of horror and confusion as he took in Derek, covered in blood,
after methodically, cooly, punching that kid. Stiles looked at him like he
didn't even know who Derek was.
When they get home, Jordan ushers Derek straight to bed, then comes back with a
damp cloth a bottle of water and some aspirin.
"I'm proud of you Derek. I know you don't like what you did. I know you hate
violence, but I can't say I'd have done anything different." He grabs Derek's
face in his hands, "Derek, you saved him, you did a good thing. You are a good
man. Stop telling yourself different."
Derek hears him, and he wants to believe him, but he knows it's not true. He
knows that he's a piece of shit. That this is another in a long line of
mistakes he's made that will eventually cost him everyone he cares about.
Jordan is saying this now, but tomorrow he'll realize the man he's been sharing
his life with is going to ruin him.
"I need to be alone." He says after a beat. Jordan just nods at him, face grim,
He runs a hand through his hair and kisses his forehead.
"Take the pills, drink the water, try to sleep. I'm not leaving you alone. I'll
be on the couch."
Derek nods pulling away to curl under the covers and try to disappear. Jordan
stands there for just a moment, before sighing and leaving Derek to his
thoughts.
For the first time in a long time, that heavy crushing loneliness rears its
ugly head again. reminding Derek of all his flaws, all his mistakes. Reminding
him that he can never really hold on to anything good. That eventually it will
just slip away if he doesn't destroy it first. He hopes he hasn't ruined his
relationship with Stiles, but he thinks that he probably has.
===============================================================================
He spends all day in bed on Sunday. Jordan only leaves the apartment to grab a
change of clothes and some food and comes right back, He's careful to give
Derek room, he's noticeably distant. Derek thinks its for the best. Jordan is
something good, he should stay far away from Derek.
He doesn't stay too far though, always hovering, clearly unsure of what to do.
He wants to tell him to just leave, but he knows that Jordan wont, and part of
him couldn't bring himself to ask anyway.
He also wants to call Stiles, to beg him for forgiveness, to promise that he's
not the kind of person who does this. It's not like he hit Stiles, but he still
can't stop feeling like it's all his fault. If he'd been stronger, or just told
the sheriff what was going on from the beginning.
Either way, he decides, it's too late now. By Sunday evening he's managed to
drag himself out of bed and into a shower. He sits on the couch and allows
Jordan to hold him as they watch a movie. He still feels like he wants to hide
forever, but he's gone out and faced the day before when he's felt like this,
he'll just have to do it again.
===============================================================================
On Monday, Stiles is not in school of course. But reminders of what happened
Saturday night are everywhere. He hears snippets of conversation, all about
him, how he nearly killed a student, people joking about how under his
cardigans and glasses he's actually a wild man, like the Hulk. The other
teachers all come to him, ask if he's okay, ask after Stiles. He tells them he
doesn't know and leaves it at that. He keeps his lectures brief and has his
students do busy work. They all know what he did, they don't say anything
though.
A week goes by, just like that and Stiles still hasn't come back. Maybe he's
scared of the looks people will give him, like the looks Derek is getting now.
But maybe he's scared of Derek, and that thought alone is enough to make Derek
want to run howling into the forest. Because the idea of Stiles not wanting to
see him, of Stiles being afraid of him, is almost too much to take.
On Friday night Jordan comes over again. He's been over every night this week.
They haven't slept together, didn't even sleep in the same bed until Wednesday
when Derek grumbled and opened the covers for him before he could head back out
to the livingroom. Jordan had smiled and climbed in next to him, put Dereks
head on his chest and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. It was the first
time that he slept through the night since before that night.
Tonight though Jordan looks like he's on a mission when he walks through the
door.
"You need to talk to him. You have nothing to be guilty for, but I have a
feeling you won't believe it unless it comes from him."
"I-" Derek doesn't even know how to begin to answer that.
"I'm not suggesting it, we're going right now. I'm heading over there to meet
the sheriff before out shift tonight. I'm taking you with me, dropping you off
there and you're going to hear how Stiles has been so grateful to you. He's not
mad, he's just upset that you haven't been to visit him. He needs you, you're
his friend and he feels like you've abandoned him."
Derek once again can't think of a response, knows he won't be able to talk
Jordan out of it, so he just sighs, and grabs his jacket, "Let's go then." he
says resigned.
The whole ride there, Derek is terrified. Jordan doesn't say anything, but
rests a comforting hand on his thigh most of the trip.
When they arrive at the Stilinski home, Derek is greeted at the door with a
tight hug from the sheriff.
"Thank you Derek. I mean it. I know you don't think you did the right thing,
but you saved my son. You kept your promise and looked out for him and- there's
nothing I could possibly say to tell you how grateful I am to you, son."
Derek wilts a bit under the praise, but nods.
"He's upstairs, he's been wanting to see you, but I think he was too
embarrassed to call."
Derek just nods again as he and Jordan head back towards the door.
"Derek, thank you. I mean it." John smiles at him one last time before shutting
the door behind him leaving Derek alone in the hallway.
He sighs. He doesn't want to do this. He's been told that Stiles wants to see
him, and even if that's true, he isn't sure that he should. Either way, he's
here now, he may as well throw himself on Stiles mercy and beg forgiveness.
He procrastinates for awhile. Paces in the hall, then goes in the kitchen and
sits at the table fingers tapping legs jittering, just like Stiles had on that
first day. He thinks back to that moment, thinks about how far he's come, how
much has changed. He was angry and depressed and lonely, and Stiles, in a very
roundabout way changed all that for him. Granted, the journey there was less
than ideal, but here they are, months later, and Derek is willing to kill
someone for Stiles. He decides then that Stiles is important enough to him,
that he can't allow himself to fall into that pit of despair he'd been in
before they met. Stiles wouldn't like it. And he's do anything for Stiles.
He gets up and quickly navigates the steps to find Stiles room. It's the first
time he's been in here and he only takes a second to take in the posters on the
wall, the books on the shelves, the lacrosse stick in the corner, the
sweatshirt that didn't quite make it into the hamper. It's so him, this is his
space, Derek feels surrounded by him in a way that makes him feel like he could
do anything. It's that intoxicating something that gets in his system just
being around Stiles. Whatever it is that makes him want to be a better person,
a person Stiles can respect and admire (he doesn't think love, that's off the
table now).
"Dad, I'm fine, aren't you supposed to be at work" Stiles says from under the
covers.
"Hi, Stiles." Derek tries to make it sound easy, but his voice comes out as
more of a croak.
Stiles doesn't even say anything, just sumps up from the bed and all but runs
across the room to Derek, falling into his chest and wrapping his arms around
his back. Derek immediately responds in kind pulling Stiles close and wrapping
his arms around him too.
"Oh god Derek, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry."
Derek is confused. "What, Stiles, I'm the one that's sorry I-"
'Derek, no, I don't even want to hear it. You saved me. I was an asshole to
you, I didn't listen to you and you still- Derek please forgive me."
And Derek doesn't even know how to react to that. This is not the conversation
he was expecting. He was not expecting to have a crying Stiles clinging to him,
begging forgiveness. That was supposed to be his job. But Stiles needs his
comfort now, and Derek is only too happy to oblige.
"Stiles, I'm not- I could never be mad at you." He pulls back and looks Stiles
in the eye, "You hear me I could never, Stiles I-" he can't finish what he was
going to say. He can't believe he almost let it slip. Didn't fully realize
there was something toslip.
Apparently, Stiles heard it anyway if the look on his face is anything to go
by. His eyes are wide, mouth hanging open slightly, cheeks flushed from
embarrassment and wet with fresh tears. He's absolutely beautiful. Derek can't
take his eyes off him, can't move away, can't do anything but stare at this
amazing boy who stole his heart despite his best efforts to prevent it.
"Derek?" Stiles says, begging him to finish what he was saying, silently
pleading with him. But Derek has never been too good with words. He rarely can
capture exactly what he means when speaking. Instead his hand rises, mostly
unbidden, to wipe the tears from Stiles cheek. His hand lingers there and
Stiles pushed into the touch slightly before looking back up and meeting
Derek's eyes again. Derek knows what is going to happen before it does, but the
shock that runs through his body when their lips meet still sends him reeling.
He's not even sure who initiates it, not sure it even matters. There are teeth
clacking and biting at lips and its wet and messy and desperate and Derek feels
like he's falling. It's heady, the blood pounding in his veins.
It only lasts a moment though before they both pull away, immediately a foot of
space between them.
"Stiles I-"
"I can't believe we just-"
They look at one another a whole conversation in wide eyes and terrified
glances and kiss swollen lips.
Derek blinks away the last of the spell, heart still pounding, but sense
rushing back to him, hitting him like a sledgehammer to the chest.
"I should go." He says weakly. Stiles doesn't respond, just looks back at him,
dumbfounded expression, like he can't quite figure out how he's feeling. Derek
is the same frankly.
After another second, Stiles seems to come back to earth as well. He coughs and
turns away from Derek. "Yeah, okay."
"Okay."
And Derek tiptoes down the stairs, grabs his jacket, and walks home in the
freezing night air.
Chapter End Notes
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