Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/85952. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/F, F/M, Multi Fandom: DCU_-_Comicverse Character: Ted_Kord, Barbara_Gordon, Mary_Marvel, Tim_Drake, Dinah_Lance, Kon-El, Bruce_Wayne, Dick_Grayson, Shiva_Woosan, Stephanie_Brown, Slade_Wilson, Connor_Hawke, Clark_Kent, Lois_Lane, Helena_Bertinelli, Zinda_Blake, Lex Luthor, Vic_Stone, Cassandra_Caine, Oliver_Queen, Bart_Allen, Selina Kyle, Harleen_Quinzel, Jason_Todd, Koriand'r, Pamela_Isley, Renee Montoya, Max_Mercury, Harvey_Bullock, Wally_West, Cissie_King-Jones, Krypto, Kate_Kane, Roy_Harper, Diana_(Wonder_Woman), Guy_Gardner, Anissa Pierce, Karen_Starr Stats: Published: 2006-11-13 Words: 1127 ****** Lady's Choice ****** by Betty, Petra_LeMaitre_(Petra) Summary An exercise in Babs topping the most people in the least words. Notes See the end of the work for notes 1. She knows Batman's vulnerabilities better than any of his enemies. A simple waft of scent, perfectly timed, is enough to make him fall to his knees.   2. "Don't," she says, and the slow writhe as Dick attempts to obey her is why she has to have him, and why they never worked.   3. "Those files are password-encrypted," Oracle says. "What will the password cost?" Robin asks.   4. "Is this a normal part of your screening of contract workers?" Slade asks the voice. "You're ex-military, Wilson, you should be familiar with a short arm inspection," it says. He doesn't think he's imagining the tinge of humour.   5. "You don't have to -- god, Babs," Dinah says. "You know I'd do anything reasonable you asked me to." "Kiss me, then."   6. "When you see Dinah, greet her with a kiss." "I was planning to," says Shiva. "Oh, I know, but this way, you'll be doing what I tell you."   7. Barbara will never admit exactly *how* long she's been itching to take Steph over her knee and give her the spanking she has so clearly needed. Steph, in her turn, will never admit how much she likes it, but she comes to the Clocktower the next night anyway.   8. "Help me, Superman," Barbara says softly, and he's through her defenses a moment later. "Whenever you need me. Oracle."   9. Helena swallows. "Not fair, I wasn't expecting--" Babs pushes Helena's arm further behind her back.   10. "Who is this?" Lois snaps. "A friend of your husband's -- in all his guises," says a voice with a computer overlay. "I don't know what you're talking about," Lois says, and hangs up.   11. "Don't fly us into anything," she says, and pushes her hand up under Zinda's skirt.   12. "I never mix business and pleasure," Lex lies smoothly. "My only interests are in your sheerly financial assets." Barbara lets her eyes drop to the wine on the table, then looks up at him. "My lawyers will be calling you tomorrow, Mr. Luthor."   13. "I'm an admirer of your work on bio-feedback," says the woman's voice. Vic frowns. "Have you considered the impact of your work on possibilities for remote stimulation?"   14. "Hey, uh, whoa, sorry if that was, uh..." "Inappropriate?" she asks. "I'll let you know when I object. Continue."   15. She slaps the gun out of Red Hood's hand with an escrima stick and trips him with the other. "Good to see you again," she says, and her smile hasn't changed an inch. Neither has the heat of her kiss.   16. "Teach me," says Cass.   17. "Tell me, Koriand'r, how does the human male stack up against the rest of the galaxy? Sexually, I mean."   18. "I've heard a lot about you, Mr. Queen. I do hope you can live up to my expectations."   19. He holds still for three minutes straight. "Good. Very good. Again."   20. The wrong bat is sitting on her. "I really love your shoes," she says, "and I wouldn't have chosen that slit skirt for burglary, but you make it work." Her admiration has a mocking tone.   21. "An' I promise I'll never ever ever ever do anything in Gotham again - - even if my puddin' asks me to." "Or else?" Harley bites her lip. "I forgot that part already."   22. "I own controlling stock in Monsanto, and I am more than willing to keep the corporation -- useless -- for your cooperation." Poison Ivy glances at her vines and they retract. "You have it."   23. "Some day I'm gonna figure out who my anonymous informant is," Montoya warns. "I invite you to *try*," says her caller. Montoya wishes she could be sure it was a woman. 24. bumblebeeb: ok i have the icecubes ready rollerthunder: Start with the left nipple. bumblebeeb: ok, hang on, don't want to drip on the keyboard   25. "Not that I'm complaining," says Max, a bit breathlessly, "but aren't I bit Old? I mean, this isn't some kind of daddy-issue, is it?" "Oh, honey," she says, "you couldn't even come *close* to my daddy issues."   26. "Anything to help out, Oracle," Wally says, and Barbara hangs up the phone in the breeze of his arrival. "It's just a little thing, really," she says, and with characteristic speed, he takes her to bed.   27. "One more donut and you're going to lose your job," says a voice over the radio. It's not the dispatcher, and it's not anybody Bullock knows. But he puts the bag down anyway.   28. "A true hero doesn't quit," says a woman's voice. Cissie snaps, "Maybe I never was one, then." The woman laughs and asks, "Then where's your cleavage? I've got a job for you."   29. "I hear you're calling youself Bat*woman.*" "Have you got a problem with that?" "That name is earned. Earn it."   30. "You've matured exactly as much as he did." Batman smiles. "I missed you, too." Oracle's face is only on the screen, now. "Then kiss me."   31. "*Down*, boy." "Hunh," says Superman, "I usually have to pull him off. Are you experienced with dogs?"   32. "Someday," Arsenal says, shivering, "you'll tell me who you are -- *god* -- " "Unlikely. Keep going -- yes, like that --" "Fuck it, someday I'll make you come -- just -- this -- *hard* -- *Oracle* --"   33. "This is-- Not precisely what I meant when I said I hoped to get to know you better," manages Diana. "Mmm, it's *exactly* what I meant when I said I'd love to."   34. Connor sort of suspects Oracle is flirting with him. He's not *entirely* sure it's necessary for him to elbow crawl the entire hallway, and the cameras seem to be sort of... swivelling, to follow him.   35. "I bet you're a woman," Gardner says. Oracle rolls her eyes and says, "You have a nonzero chance of being correct. Open the door already." "Yes, *ma'am.*"   36. "Golly!" says Mary. "Miss Marvel," says Babs, "I am going to make the word 'fuck' come out of your pretty mouth."   37. "Just to be clear," Power Girl says, twisting her fingers again, "this doesn't mean we're friends." Oracle groans. "Fine. Just -- don't stop now."   38. "Here's a hint, Malone, try not copping a feel from the vigilante who's cuffing you." "Baby doll, you can cuff me *any time.*"   39. "And of course, the ever present awareness that trying to live up to your father's expectations has led you to take actions he could never approve of? Does that sound familiar?" Anissa moans, and tries to fuck herself harder on the dildo the woman holds.   40. "There's a voice in my cell," the Joker tells the orderly. "It wakes me up every five minutes, all night long, and it never, never lets me sleep." "We'll get you a little more Thorazine, buddy. Don't worry." End Notes Petra: 1 - Bruce, 3 - Tim, 5, 7, 8 - Clark, 10, 12, 15, 19 - Bart, 21, 22, 24 - Ted Kord, 26, 27, 28, 30 - Titans of Tomorrow Tim, 32, 35, 37, 40 Betty: 2, 4, 6, 9, 11, 13, 14 - Kon, 16, 17, 18, 20 - Pre-Crisis Catwoman, 23, 25, 29 - Kate Kane, 31, 33, 34, 36, 38, 39 Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!