Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/11880441. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Diabolik_Lovers Relationship: Mukami_Kou/Sakamaki_Subaru Additional Tags: Smut, Yaoi, Anal_Sex, Anal_Fingering, Oral_Sex, Vibrators, Masturbation, Dildos, Toothbrush, i_mean_what, um, Ecks_dee_I_can't_write_for_shit, Kou is_daddy, Charlie_and_Lola_-_Freeform, Marv_x_Charlie, Did_you_know_I want_to_die, Subaru's_fluffy_as_fuck_hair, Also_Ouma_came_into_this somehow, Idk_okay_I_love_that_boi, Anal_Fisting, Double_Oral_Penetration, Charlie_is_daddy_actually_I_don't_need_you_Kou, im_kidding, LOVE_ME_KOU, Ayato's_the_best_Sakamaki_but_he's_not_gay_for_Kou_so_he's_not_allowed, Laito_is_a_rapist_ecks_dee, Subaru_is_the_edge_lord_ecks_dee, Charlie_is so_fucking_done, WHY_AM_I_ADDING_CHARLIE_TO_THE_TAGS_ANWYAY, Enjoy_the fic_I'm_gonna_go_sink_into_the_floor, Plot_What_Plot/Porn_Without_Plot Stats: Published: 2017-08-22 Chapters: 4/4 Words: 1566 ****** Kou x Subaru ****** by akishiota Summary Subaru is in love with Kou where will their adventures take them and will Subaru find happiness Notes Cornflakes ***** Chapter 1 ***** Subaru: (breathes) Kou, most of the fandom: Hump me, fuck me Daddy better make me choke (you better) Hump me, fuck me My tunnel loves a deep throat (it do) Lick, lick, lick, lick (I lick) I want to eat your dick (I do) But I can't fuck up my nails (I can't) So I'mma pick it up with chopsticks Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Put it so deep, I can't speak a sentence Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Put it so deep I can't speak a sentence My fingers in it, gentle (yeah) Explore this nigga mental I'mma write my name on his dick (his dick) Don't need a pen or a pencil (no I don't) All I need is my body (my body) My pussy pink just like salami (ooh!) Don't need no drink to get naughty (no) 'Cause bitch I'm not Bill Cosby (I'm not) My pussy mean, and it's clean (It is) I'm not a squirter, I cream (squirt squirt!) Keep it smelling like baby wipes I never smell like sardines (ew!) This will never fucking end (It won't) Ballerina that dick when I spin (I spin) I fucked this nigga so good I ain't swallow one kid, I think I swallowed twins Hump me, fuck me Daddy better make me choke (you better) Hump me, fuck me My tunnel loves to deep throat (it do) Lick, lick, lick, lick (I lick) I want to eat your dick (I do) But I can't fuck up my nails (I can't) So I'mma pick it up with chopsticks Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Put it so deep, I can't speak a sentence Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Mouth wide open like I was at the dentist Mouth wide open, mouth wide open Put it so deep I can't speak a sentence Just come put it down my butt (my butt) Let's shoot a movie, no cuts Ride the dick, get my nipples licked That's breastfeeding while we fuck (thirsty) Finna get the dick wet and firm (firm) You better sweat me out of my perm (my perm) Can't wait 'til it's my turn I wanna blow bubbles with sperm (right now) Wanna hit it from the back Let me arch my back Once I arch my back That mean attack this pussy Don't need a porn star 'cause I'm the moderin (no) I'mma spit on his dick sound like I'm gargling Make him bust three nuts, is the task My panties stuck in my ass So I pulled them down to show him the pearl Made his pubic hairs curl fast Fuck this pussy Fuck this pussy Fuck this pussy Come fuck this pussy Fuck this pussy Fuck this pussy Fuck this pussy Come fuck this pussy ***** Chapter 2 ***** Chapter Notes Honey loops Subaru: So do you have any hobbies? Kou: Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/ 2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. Subaru: Subaru: Subaru: Kou: Kou: >:3 ***** Chapter 3 ***** Chapter Notes Coco pops (Forgive me for this I needed to live up to my tags) Subaru fuck Kou in te ass Subaru stick finger up te ass Koos Koo and subway succ te dicks Koo and subway shov vibrators up te each other's asses Ten Ko and Sub rub te own dicks Okay wait Why does Subaru's name begin with "sub" I always saw him as a dom- In fact I'd say Kou is a power bottom ANYWAY Kok ship dildo up his ass and Subordinate Clause watched him ecks dee K and Su brush tooth together Kokichi is a young man with an innocent look and a rather refined face. He has a short stature, a decent and thin build, and very pale skin. He has purple eyes and short, wavy purple hair. He wears a white suit with multiple straps wrapped around his arms, two straps hang loose around his legs. His shirt is ripped at the hem. He has multi- colored buttons running down the middle of his shirt, and he has military badges on his right. He also wears black and purple slip flats and a checkered patterned scarf. In his promotional art, he is shown with a dark flowing cloak and a leather peaked hat with a gold badge on top of it, giving him a more malicious look. WHY DID I ADD OUMA WHA ***** Chapter 4 ***** Chapter Notes Weetabix (I added more tags oof) Sub shov fist up te Koo's ass I don't know what oral penetration is oops Is it eating someone out with two people or I'll try it? Charlie And Kou shov tung up Subway's hol Have you seen the church scene though fuck Please calm down Laito that's a bit far sonny ... I need more words so Here's Kou's song to Subaru [Intro:] It's KouMukami2000, Ohhhh! You know what? Maybe being with you was pretty fucked up of me to actually wanna do And you know, after being with you for a while It just really screwed up my mind Because you're famous, I'm famous I mean like, I'm a little less famous than you, but.. (fuck) I don't think this can work when All the girls want you And you want all the fucking girls And I'm just like... Bitch, why? Nigga, I'm number 1 But you're the number 1 All this swag in my inner dope Can't match what I have in for you When you look like a fucking MVP smoking a bowl And my mind just screams "Nigga, why are you there? Why is this happening to me?" (Ohh oh) It just doesn't feel right without you, or being with you, so I'm like, fucked up in this moment. I'm just in the middle... I'm tired of this Of all this bullshit So turn off the radio Your voice makes me cry All throughout the night Get the fuck off the radio I'm the real O.G. (x4) (Heeheeheeee) Maybe I crave for you like nobody else does For a matter of fact you got me fucked up Maybe I drank too much liquor Won't leave you alone But ever since that night You've always been on my mind And a real nigga like me don't understand this bullshit But fucking god I try to forget shit like this Like when Caliborn suddenly vanished to 2015 I realized I was truly alone and will never revive Maybe it was because I was with the guy with the eyes And I fell for him harder than I should have that one night But all I hear is his seductive voice and he said "You're the only one who Nomi" And I became all flustered, couldn't control my thoughts But I knew it was the one night stand But now he's gone too and it hurts like hell because he was swaggie as fuck I'm tired of this Of all this bullshit So turn off the radio Your voice makes me cry All throughout the night Get the fuck off the radio I'm the real O.G. (x4) (Heeheeheeee) I'm the real O.G. (x4) (Oh baby) I just wanna feel alright, I wanna feel alright I wanna get my face up All throughout the night, yeah, get through the night So turn off the radio I wanna be near you, I wanna be near you I crave for every fiber of your life But I know that you're gone now So turn off the radio Okay bye hoes this fic is a mess Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!