Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/10922220. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: 방탄소년단_|_Bangtan_Boys_|_BTS Relationship: Jeon_Jungkook/Park_Jimin Character: Jeon_Jungkook, Park_Jimin, Kim_Seokjin_|_Jin, Kim_Namjoon_|_Rap_Monster Additional Tags: Mental_Health_Issues, Autism, Light_Angst, Teenage_Drama, Childhood Friends, Childhood_Memories, Summer_Love, Age_Difference, Smut, Mpreg, Other_Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added Stats: Published: 2017-05-16 Updated: 2017-10-03 Chapters: 8/? Words: 14498 ****** Kookie and Hyung ****** by KookIsMine Summary Jimin only remebers a cute, doe - eyed silent kid. Jungkook doesn't remember him at all. When they meet again years later, the connection between them is ethereal. A story about unconditional love in which age is just a number. ~ Or how Jungkook's black and white world is brought to color by someone he tried to forget. Notes TRIGGER WARNING: This story deals with mental health issues. LEAVE NOW IF THIS BOTHERS YOU. I mean to show NO DISRESPECT. I'm writing this after a lot of research and.. experience because my cousin is autistic. It is important to understand that autism can be different to different people. PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS A GENERAL DEFINITION OF AUTISM. I trust my readers to be mature enough to not hate on this or show any kind of disrespect. Carry on. ***** Memories. ***** ===============================================================================   ~ "You've been here before."  My mother keeps telling me. She thinks I don't remember. But I do. I recognize every single detail. Every street, every corner, every house, every shop that blurred past our car's window during the past.. hours? That happens when people zone out. It was completely normal. But I wasn't 'people' and I wasn't 'normal'. Sometimes, I feel bad that I'm so much into my trance that I don't even respond to my mother until she squeezes by hand, a sign that says - Jungkook, attention please.  She's on the phone with my father. He's overseas for some business and I hear him say something romantic to my mother, making her giggle. That was one of the good things though, they were still in love despite my.. issue.   I paint the new modified surroundings - if any - to the back of my mind, blending them into my memory. I won't forget it again or get confused. My memory is so sharp and clear, it hurts my head sometimes. The car starts slowing down. We're here. I clear my mind, allotting all the pictures I've acquired into their respective albums. When the car stops, I lean my head against the cold window, take a deep breath and close my eyes. A still image projects on the inside of my lids. It's the red house beside ours. It wasn't there before or maybe I don't remember. I frown at that. And also the big tree with its wide canopy and lots of shade. I'm sure as hell that wasn't there before, either. I can almost feel the coolness the shade has to offer. Maybe it was a small plant?  I lock my eyes on the big tire swinging slightly in the breeze. It looks like it can fit two people easily. It looks so lonely. I get out of the car and take a few steps towards the new additions beside our property. There was no fence or anything separating the houses. Ours used to be the only house this far off from others, situated on the slightly hilly side of the town. The image is imprinted in my memory, forever. It looks beautiful. Two big houses with a big tree in between them towards the back, over the hill. My fingers itch to grab my camera from the bag and start clicking picture. An emotion stirs inside me - excitement. It's been a long time since I felt that. My mother comes to stand beside me. "I've always loved this house. It's so beautiful, right? And, do you remember the sunsets? We can see them from the back door and even have a small walk down the hill! Or we can have a swim in the pool tomorrow." She's excited. "I hope you brought your camera with you. You can't miss the beauty this place has to offer. Also, it'll look awesome on your portfolio!" She smiles, nose crinkling and I'm reminded again that she passed me this feature of hers. "Yeah, Eomma. I.. like it here. It's perfect." She sighs, resting her head on my shoulder. And I'm happy. It's peaceful here. I help my mother with the bags as we enter the house. It's too big for two people obviously, but that will have to do. The best thing I like about this house is the perfect composition of wood and glass. It look much bigger from the inside, the decor cosy and warm. I bet there was at least one furry chair in my room as well, for they almost seemed mandatory. I roam around the house and discover that the ground floor consists of a living room, a kitchen, three bedrooms - I snort - a gym and an outdoor swimming pool. The second floor - mine. There are two bedrooms. I took the bigger one, of course. Then there's a library and a terrace. I didn't know my mother would be so generous and let me keep the whole floor to myself. I note all the remodelling that took place and I'm done. I feel giddy. We spend the rest of the evening unpacking the luggage. The dinner ends up being simple kimchi fried rice, since we still had to unpack a few kitchen equipments. After dinner, it takes me an hour to set up my room as per my liking - placing all my books on the self, arranging my wardrobe, followed by my desk.   I flop down on my bed, feeling hot and sweaty. It has been a while since I worked out. I should get back on track from tomorrow. There was a complete gym in the house itself. I spread my arms and legs, covering most of the king sized bed. The air conditioner isn't set yet and I feel spoiled for noticing that. I look around my room. My parents had gone overboard again, decorating my room as per my tastes - There's a big walk-in wardrobe, a flat screen TV facing my bed, sound system, gaming console, a costly stereo and a fluffy king size bed.  The room screams 'bratty rich kid'. But I'm not. They're pampering me because their only son - autistic son - came back from boarding school. Even then, I never took this for granted. I couldn't. They gave me  everything. And I had to repay them in some way or the other. I tried to be the perfect child - getting good grades, maintaining a good reputation, trying to express my gratefulness. I keep failing at the last one thought. I was never good with words. The room is too big, I notice. My walls are almost bare - a lone picture of mine and a Big Bang poster, a poor excuse of decoration. A few hours pass with me rolling on the bed, browsing on my phone for room decor and after finishing the last few pages of the book I was reading, I'm still feeling muggy. I sit up, peeling my shirt off my sticky skin. I walk to the window and open it, feeling cool breeze hit my clammy skin. I push my wet bangs off my forehead, leaning out slightly. I can hear the wind as it rustles through the tree, the sound mesmerising. I shiver. Ah, summer. I hear a gasp.  I snap my eyes open and a mop of golden blonde hair is all I see before a frilly curtain blocks my view. I see the silhouette of what seems to be a boy as he stands stiffly on the other side before it fades away. I stay frozen, unable to even swallow anything with my anxiousness.  I want to bang my head against a wall. How could I be so stupid and forget that there was a goddamn window facing mine? Oh god, he was probably freaked out wondering why a shirtless guy was hanging out of a window in middle of the night. I feel my cheeks heat up -  and I would  be probably freaking out if I didn't realise that I was blushing. It was completely new to me.  I stumble back to my bed, embarrassed beyond belief.  What if it had been a girl? I would've jumped down the window. I miss a few hours of sleep that night. ~.~.~   ***** Let me in. ***** Chapter Notes Sorry, this is too short.. ===============================================================================   ~ The next morning I wake up to my mother banging on my door. "Park Jimin! If you want breakfast then you'll be all ready in fifteen minutes!" "I'm up!" I groan, running a hand through my messy hair. My mom rarely wakes me up - let alone come up all the way to my room and bang the door. Something's fishy. I stumble out of the bed, tangled in the sheets. I make it to the bathroom in one piece and quickly brush my teeth then, take a shower. I suddenly remember the boy I saw last night, moonlight making his skin glow. But there's something about him... He felt familiar. And it was the Jeons' house. So could it be.. No. He left ten years ago. There's no reason for him to come back now. But still, like an idiot, I wanted to run to the pale blue house and demand answers.  At least to confirm my suspicions.  I get out, quickly drying my hair and body. I pull on a grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. I would be staying home anyway. I run down the stairs before jumping off from the last few. I land with a thud. "Park Jimin!" "Sorry, Eomma! You said I had to get down in--" I stop dead in the kitchen, not expecting guests. It's Mrs. Jeon who gets up from her seat near the island, a huge smile on her as she hugs me. "Jimin! It's been so long since I've last seen you, darling. Almost 10 years, I think? Look how much you've grown!" Her smile is as warm as ever, as she ruffles my hair. She was like my second mother. It has been a long time, I'm towering over her now.  "Ah.. Mrs. Jeon! Yes. I'm so happy to see you.. When did you guys get back?" I smile, hugging her back. "Just yesterday. We didn't want to trouble you both that soon so we barged in today!" She giggles as my mom disagrees, distracting her.  My eyes flick to the boy still sitting on the island and my heart stops, world freezing.  I was right.  He is Jeon Jungkook.  He looks much older, mature even with wide shoulders stretching his white t- shirt. There's no hint of the small skinny boy I used to babysit. He's all buff now, muscular arms peeking from under his sleeves. And it doesn't help at all that I saw the muscles hidden under the thin t-shirt of his last night. I feel warmth creeping over my cheeks. His big doe-eyes stare at me - the only feature of his that remained untouched by time - a hint of innocence on his perfect features, pink lips parted and my breath hitches. God, he looks so beautiful with his black messy hair falling into his eyes.   He must be hardly eighteen years old. Still very young. Stop lusting over a kid!   He looks almost shocked, a small frown decorating his.. pretty face. Can boys be called pretty? I don't think so.. but, he was. So, so pretty. Mrs. Jeon moves back and I hardly have time to drop my arms before a muscular body envelopes mine, hugging me tightly. I'm caught off guard and a breathless laugh escapes me. Tears sting my eyes and I blink them away as I'm flooded with our memories, our unsaid goodbye and all the time we spend together.  I prey to all the existing deities that Jungkook doesn't feel my hammering heart. I run my hands over his back, warmth radiating from his body making my skin tingle. He rests his chin heavily on my head, making my nose press to his milky collar bones. His scent is musky but borderline sweet. He doesn't smell like a kid anymore, and definitely doesn't feel like one, either. My lips accidentally brush against his warm skin and he jerks back. I have a apology ready on my lips, cheeks red but he just stares at me for a moment before embracing me again. He's so much taller than me, he has to curve over me to bury his face in my neck. And even as I feel small - miniature even - in his hold, I've never felt safer. My throat tightens. He's grown up so much.  I feel his hold tighten around me and I like the feeling more than I should. Then, I'm reminded that this was how we used to communicate. Jungkook hardly talked back then and I guess old habits die hard. So that means, he remembers me. He nuzzles deeper into my neck, breath tickling the sensitive skin and inhales deeply. Jungkook moans, making something in my stomach quiver and my knees buckle. If he wasn't holding me this tight, I would be on the floor right now. I shoot a look towards our mothers and thankfully, they're busy gossipping.  He didn't know he'd miss me this much. Or see me again. Without thinking, I use the special nickname that I used to call him in our childhood. "Kookie." I remember you too, Kookie. How can I forget someone this special and dear to me? I didn't know I'd miss you this much, either. He relaxes completely, melting into my arms. I hug him tighter, putting my arms around his narrow waist. My Kookie is home. ~.~ ***** Waiting to see you. ***** Chapter Notes I might update slower in the future.. See the end of the chapter for more notes =============================================================================== ~ My photography equipment is safe, I can tell that much. I take out my camera, still checking for damages. I click a picture of my room and see that the filter is off - the colors are sharper, the lights in my room enriching them, instead of the flat shades I prefer. Maybe I should experiment later. See what kind of color pallet I get here. I need a new film and though I ordered one yesterday after coming back from the Parks, I'm not as anxious for its arrival as I would've been; I want to be somewhere else right now. I slump down into the rotating chair in front of my desk and lean back, staring at the ceiling. I prop my legs on the desk and the world tilts a little and more and more until the chair is on the verge of toppling over. But I'm good at balancing things. My hyung.. He is here. Jiminnie hyung. I never thought I'd see him again after they send me away to that 'special' boarding school. I was sick. So, so sick.. crying for days, unable to stop. I didn't even know back then if I would ever stop. I was fine one day and I would start crying and hurting the very next day all over again. I couldn't bear it. The pain, sadness.. Everything hurt so much. I didn't know such pain existed. So I buried everything about him in that dark shady valleys of my mind where I couldn't reach him even if I wanted to. Too much loss... Too much pain. I just couldn't deal with it. So I pretended; I'm very good at it. Always have been. For almost 10 years it was as if he never existed - Jiminnie hyung just didn't exist. But here he is. And he remembers me. I held him and he responded, we were 'talking' like we used to. So many years ago. Our language is just a little off, like that colors in the picture I took. Only it isn't flat, it's sharper. Foreign. Disturbing. Exciting. The blood rushing to my head makes it feel heavy. I feel warm, soft. I check my phone again. 4:16 a.m. It's too early, still too early. Park Jimin, my Jiminnie hyung just Jimin now. He is back in my life, isn't he? So, Jimin hyung? So confusing. I don't deal well with confusion. But the confusion is different this time. It's a tingling sensation in my stomach. It's pleasant but electric. I don't want him to un-confuse me. I just want him to touch me again. I want to touch him instead of the camera. I want to hold him. Maybe I could play with him? 4:36 a.m. Still too early. Jimin. I play around with his name for a while, getting used to it. The missing syllables. The capital J.. I like the capital J. It is something that we both share. I open my mouth, his name on the tip of my tongue but all I can get out is a raspy noise that makes me cringe. My voice is a frail mess and yet it rings too loud, cutting painfully through the silence. When was the last time I spoke? I clear my throat and try again, voice a whisper this time. "Jimin." And again, adding a little more tone. "Jimin?" Higher. "Jimin!" Louder. "JIMIN." Tender. "Jimin.." I keep on trying, testing, feeling, tasting, rolling his name off my tongue in different textures and colors until the sun is up. I straighten up from my tilted axis and make way to my wardrobe carefully, feeling the blood rush from my head. I do everything slow. I take my time picking up my clothes, slowly, slowly, finally settling with black ripped jeans and a plain black t-shirt. I manage to kill another 16 minutes. But it's still too early. In the shower, I remember one day when Jiminnie hyung.. Jimin washed my hair. He had kindly given me a wash cloth to cover my eyes so that the shampoo doesn't get in. I remember his soft fingers kneading and stroking my hair, I remember him singing softly feeling the faint vibrations from his chest pressed to my back as he leaned on me.  Hold me tight, hug me Can you trust me, can you trust me Please, please, please pull me in and hug me. Without you, I can't breathe I'm nothing without you Look, I'm fair with everyone else but you Now I can't live a day without you, please Hold me tight, hug me Trust me, trust me, trust me You will shine You're still like a scented flower Now trust me, hold me once again So I can feel you, hold me. I didn't understand much back then, only focused on his soft voice.  That was the first time he called me 'Kookie'. He told me how special I was. How precious I was. And now, with the smell of shampoo and warm water surrounding me, I can almost feel his gentle hands in my hair again. The memory revives with a new intensity and my body starts tingling. I want to see him. Right now. Touch him. I'm painfully hard and gasping but I still kill some more time debating whether this is right or wrong. Jiminnie hyung would know, right? Yes. He always knows what to do. He will help me as he always has, helping me figure things out. He'll let me know. I'll just have to touch him and he'll let me know. When I have dried myself off, brushed my teeth and put my clothes on, its 6:42 a.m. With my hand on the main door handle, I freeze. Eomma was not awake yet. I spend the next eight minutes staring out of the big window in our kitchen and writing a note informing her of where to find me. Then, I'm done waiting. ~.~ Chapter End Notes I would really appreciate it if you tell me how to think. Thank you! ***** War of Hormone ***** Chapter Notes Please don't get offended from the story's content. I know it is a delicate subject I'm dealing with. Let's just say Jungkook is not completely incapable of doing things... If you know wht I mean ;) He just thinks differently and is socially awkward. So, don't take this autism seriously because you will be seeing cute, adorable, flirty and funny Jungkookie! This fic ain't gonna be serious all the time. It's gonna be fluffy n smutty as well. ^.^ See the end of the chapter for more notes   =============================================================================== ~ I wake up with my hands between my thighs, moaning with precum dripping from my cock.  I feel embarrassed, aroused and desperate at the same time but I can't bring myself to stop, hand moving frantically over my bulge to relieve the ache as I feel heat curling in my groin until I throw my head back, crying out his name as I cum on my hand. Panting and whimpering, I roll to my side and curl into a ball. Euphoria and sadness wash over me in equal measures. I feel like I did something illegal. This was the first time I dreamt about Jeon Jungkook. That too, a wet dream. Fuck my life..  Hell, the kid calls me 'hyung' in such a sweet and innocent way and here I am, having a wet dream about him. Tears prick my eyes as I feel disgusted with myself. He is my Kookie. I'm not allowed to have dirty thoughts about my almost brother. Not that I ever thought of him as my brother, but still. No, he's too hot for that.  I'm reminded how gloomy my existence is when I'm brushing my teeth and showering at 6:44 a.m. The water feels wonderful against my sensitive skin but I quickly get out before my imagination runs wild and I pop another boner. I just manage to wrap a towel around my waist when the door bell rings. I check the time - 7:00 a.m. Who the hell would come to our house at this hour? Mom's home and Dad isn't coming back until a few days later.  And there's no fucking way a burglar would ring a doorbell--. "Oh fuck!" I've never descended the stairs this fast. I almost slip on the last step but catch myself by the railing. "What if he left already?!" It's obvious that I'm panicking and as I throw the door open, I realise that I'm only clad in a goddamn towel around my waist as the morning breeze hits me. "Jungkookie.." I lean against the door for support, clutching at my towel. God, he's so breathtaking. A blush settles on my cheek, as I'm reminded of my guilty pleasure that took place this morning.  Fuck me.  His hair is damp and he smells sweet of shampoo and aftershave. He's wearing all black which accentuates his pale skin in a way that makes my mouth water.  There are a few shadows under his eyes. Hadn't he slept at all? His doe eyes are wide and glossy as he stares at me unblinkingly. He swallows hard, Adam's apple bobbing and clears his throat lightly. I hear his grown up voice for the first time. "Hello... Jimin." He only utters two words and it makes my heart beat faster. I gasp, breaking into a happy smile. "You're speaking!" He nods in agreement and gives me a shy bunny smile. My hand reaches for him, completely ignoring my protesting mind. I touch his cheek and he closes his eyes, leaning into my touch. "I'm so happy, Kookie." I can't believe he's grown up so much. "Do you remember what you used to call me?" He nods again. "Jiminnie hyung." It's merely a whisper. It makes me smile wider. "Yes. It's nice though, to hear you call me Jimin. But I'm still your hyung, you know." I poke his chest with a finger, pouting slightly. Jungkook just nods rapidly and his hair fucking bounces. HOLY SHITTT-- "Why are you awake at this ungodly hour, anyway?" He's completely oblivious to my not so subtle innuendo. "I practiced.." He says and opens his eyes. "Last night. I wanted to say it right." "You practiced my name?" Another nod. My heart feels warm. "Come in!" I'm suddenly reminded that we're still sanding over the threshold. And I'm half naked. He takes my hand and I let him. It has always been like that. Only this time, his big hand completely envelops mine. Jungkook hardly ever lost physical contact with me when he was a child. He used to follow me around like a cute little bunny. So he holds my hand as I close the door and doesn't let go even when I climb the stairs to my room. The surroundings must be new to him, this was his first time in our home, after all.  I really try to pick out clothes single handed but he notices my distress and release my hand. He steps closer to me from behind and I feel his warm fingers on the nape of my neck. I suppress the shudder threatening to break loose. Touch.. He always preferred skin to skin contact. I pick a long sleeved, black and white striped shirt and blue ripped jeans. "You smell good... hyung." He whispers the last part and his warm breath washes over  the nape of my neck, giving me goose bumps. "Ah.. Haha.. It must be the shampoo." I laugh sheepishly. He steps even closer, denim brushing against my calves.  I can feel the warmth radiating from him on my bare back and then suddenly his arms are around my waist. "No. Your scent is sweet." There is a slight undertone of indignation in his new, husky voice. He sprawls a hand flat on my stomach and when his fingers brush against my abs, I suck in a breath, heart hammering in my chest. I'm suddenly aware of my stirring cock. I wonder if..  Does he know about this stuff? No.. He's my innocent bunny.  I feel myself flush more from arousal than from embarrassment and things are getting a little worse down there. My hands shake as I put on his arms wrapped around me as I half-heartedly tug at them, prying them off my waist. "Anyway.. I should go get dressed. So you should let go of me, Kookie." The last think I want is for my towel to drop and scar him for life.  He doesn't remove him arms but loosens his hold so that I can turn around. His hands come to rest on my hips and it doesn't feel innocent anymore. Hell, not at all when his thumbs are rubbing small circles on my hip bones. I'm sure we just crossed a line there. He's not a child anymore. His eyes are half hidden behind his long lashes because he's looking down at.. He's fucking ogling at my chest.  No. Definitely not a child anymore. I catch myself desperately wishing that he likes what he sees, shame long forgotten. Does he find me attractive? Like, sexually? God, how I craved to be wanted by him. Is wrong that I want a boy to want me like this? Definitely not, I think. But that I want him to want me like this? Oh yes, definitely wrong! I grab his wrists. "Kookie, I don't think this is really appropriate anymore. You can't just touch me like you used to, when you were little." "We're older now, bun." The new nickname slips past my lips and I wait for Jungkook's reaction.  Well, he blinks.  His eyes find mine and the signature frown between his eyebrows appears. "But I like you. Isn't it normal to touch the one you like?" He tilts his head to the side innocently. I blink. "You l-like me?" Even when surprised, I'm stupid enough to ask something like this. He nods, still gazing into my eyes, lips parting slightly as if he wants to say something more. And god, I'm completely under his spell. Instead of letting me go, he tighten his grip on my hips and pulls me flush against his body, my arms automatically going around his shoulders.  A gasp escapes my lips as I stare up at him, our chests pressed against each other. I feel the need to swallow but my throat is too dry and lord help me, I want to cross that line so bad. I keep forgetting that Kookie starts talking when he gets comfortable with me. And he looked quite comfortable in this position of ours.  He shouldn't. Not when I'm having thought about him fucking me-- And then he speaks, with that totally innocent expression, voice velvety, words tumbling out of his mouth as if he rehearsed them too. Like he did with my name. "Everyone knows that I'm socially inadequate anyway, so no one will blame you if we get caught." I gape at him incredulously for a second and then all the worries leave me when I burst out laughing. I stand up on my tiptoes to peck his cheek. He arms slack around me in shock and I quickly escape them, running to the bathroom to get changed. I throw a look over my shoulder, giggling when I see his expression - eyes wide, cheeks pink and lips parted - my heart pounds harder than ever. I was falling for him already. But it's not easy.  ~   Chapter End Notes Are you getting hang of the story? Jimin is thirsty af for Kookie :3 And as for Kookie.. Haha.. He's close to having blue balls. Sorry for the mistakes. ***** Touch ***** Chapter Notes Thank you so much for the wonderful support, guys! ^^ Our boys FUCKING SLAYED THE BBMAs!! See the end of the chapter for more notes ===============================================================================   ~ He's laughing as he disappears into the bathroom. Did he think I was joking? I realise - I should have. But I didn't. Not at all.. Currently, I'm not capable of thinking much due to the burning patch on my cheek where his lips touched. Jiminnie hyung kissed my cheek. It was one of those rare moments when I smile because I want to. Not because I have to, for the sake of blending in. I also like the sound of his laughter. Jimin is back in less than five minutes. Though he smiles again, he doesn't meet my eyes. Is he uncomfortable? I can sense his distress - not analyzing body language and facial expressions to conclude their meaning, but feeling it as we go to the kitchen.  It has always been like that. It was as if I could feel his auras. Only his. I'll never want him to feel uncomfortable and most of all, I don't want him to think that what we have - us - is inappropriate. He's making us breakfast - taking out two bowls and pouring cereal and milk in them, silent. I want to hear his voice. I hold his hand again. I want to hear him laugh. "And they can't blame me either, when you're this beautiful, hyung." He stiffens and I think I just made it worse. I suck at joking. I should've know. I should not speak without thinking. Somehow, I've made him sad. He turns around and his eyes are watery when they meet mine. No. Jiminnie hyung can't cry. This went totally wrong. I shouldn't speak at all. I cup his face and rest my forehead on his, telling him sorry. Thought I don't understand what I did to make him sad, I feel bad and I'm sorry. And he gets me. Of course, he gets me. He shakes his head slightly, a little breathless noise escaping from him throat. "You don't know what you're doing to me, Kookie." He ducks away from under my hand and goes to the island, taking those stupid bowls with him. My hands have never felt so empty. So I follow. I follow his magnetic pull. And I say his name, out loud and I didn't even mean to speak. But he does that to me. He catches me off guard in the most disastrous way and he still makes me love it.  I'm completely filled with his presence, his beauty and my want for him. I'm breathless for him. I'm overflowing and I don't know what this beautiful chaos is called. But if it has a name... then it must be his. Those precious alphabets that come together to form his pretty name. It's spilling over and I can't hold it in. So, his name dips from my tongue and out of my lips. "Jimin.." It hangs in the air. Thick, heavy and sweet.  Just like his mouth-watering scent.  And then he turns around. Thank God, he responded to me. He leans back against the island and I take his hand again. This is good.. so, so good. I want to tell him so many things. How much I missed him, how much he means to me, how much I crave his touch and how I miss his scent. The intoxicating scent that hit me - engulfed my senses the moment he opened the door clad in only a goddamn towel. I want to tell him how much hunger he arouses in me, that painful desire to touch him in ways I never wanted to touch anyone else. That milky skin..  And I don't know how to tell him all this. Because, all these thoughts are sewed to my tongue, refusing to budge.  Fuck them.  I bend down slowly, bringing my face closer to his and inch by inch our lips, closer. Jiminnie hyung tilts his head, glittering eyes closing shut as his plump lips meet mine. Oh, how I wanted this. His breathing is a little laboured but so is mine as he parts his lips. And his body says yes, his scent... that maddening scent says yes a million times. My own body's response is loud, so loud it's almost painful. The heat. The throbbing. I was falling. And nothing ever felt this good. I slide one hand around his back, marvelling at the way his spine curves and pull him closer as he presses his body close, arms latching onto my neck, his lips crashing with mine. And then our hips meet and I can feel him there and - Oh, this sweet torture - then he moans into my mouth and grips my hair. I see stars as heat bursts through me. He whimpers and my brain short-circuits. My voice is raspy when I whisper into his mouth. "Jimin.. Hyung.. It burns.. I'm burning for you." With a little sob, he reaches for my face and joins our lips together again, all supple and wet, all teeth and tongue. And I hold on tight because it's all I can do to not give in to my body's desires to have him. Right now. ~.~ (Jimin) He is burning for me... Does it mean what I think it is. Does this beautiful creature want me like this? As I throw myself into that kiss, feeling so many things at once, I don't tell him that he stole my first kiss. Because, I wouldn't want anyone else to steal it. My stomach explodes and melts into something like hot magma threatening to engulf my body. I feel so wanted. God, I can't get any more slutty than this. It doesn't help at all that I can feel the evidence of his want pressing against my stomach.  We break the kiss and stand still for a moment, forehead to forehead, panting as we catch our stolen breaths, silently asking and gaining each others' much needed thoughts. This is new and familiar at the same time. There's the physical communication we've always had and there's this overwhelming, unknown sensuality and burning passion. And of course, I burn for my Kookie too. He puts his hand over my chest, right over my galloping heart. Then he takes my hand and places it on his heart, beating as frantically as mine. I almost jump when he suddenly speaks. "How do normal people do it?" He asks hoarsely and I'm at a loss of words for a second. I don't exactly know what he's talking about. Sex..? Whatever he wants to ask, I don't think I'm the right person to ask. But he continues."Is it always like this for normal people? How do you cope up with so much.. emotion? It's like my chest is going to explode, like everything is spiralling out of control.. I can't.. I can't breathe and I feel weak.. I think I should sit down for a moment." He's still clutching at my hand tightly as he sinks down to his knees - very gracefully, I might add - and sits back on his heels. I've never heard him speak so much. At once.  He slings his arms around my legs and bumps his head on my thighs, moaning loudly. "Hyunggg~ What do I do?" His pout is too fucking cute for someone his age.  "Kookie... Please, come on.. Let's get you--" To my bedroom and we can jump into the fuc--. No. "Let's eat breakfast first, yeah? Then we'll talk about.. us" He looks up at me from under his bangs, big doe eyes so innocent and intense at the same time. He gets up, slinging an arm around my waist, not losing contact as he sits on one of the stools surrounding the island. He's shaking like a leaf as he nuzzles his face into my chest. Did he not know how hard it was for me to not make any noises when he touches me like that? No, of course not. "There, there.. Let's eat first, Kookie. The cereal's getting soggy." In the end, I'm the only one who's eating slowly because Jungkook shoves all the cereal into his mouth - choking only once - and I end up in his lap as he nibbles on my jaw while I still eat.  I swat at his hand tickling my waist.  He laughs.  It's hard to swallow the last spoonful, with the thought of a possibility that I might be the only one who can pour my soul into our relationship.  But love makes you do crazy shit.  ~ Chapter End Notes I'm back in Jikook galaxy. So quicker updates. :) Hopefully. ***** After waiting so long for you. ***** Chapter Notes @Priska. You comment made me CRIII TT It was so long and big and beautiful oh godd i was nostalgic af. A million thanks to you! @CarryOnAsmaa. Giving it to you, rn. I hope you'll like me now. I prefer it when people like me. ;) Both of you pushed me to complete the chapter! I hope I didn't offend you guys by mentioning you here. If I did, I'm really sorry. Now, THIS MUST BE THE MOST LAME EXCUSE OF SMUT THAT I'VE EVER WRITTEN IM SO SORRRYYYY TT See the end of the chapter for more notes   =============================================================================== ~ (Jimin) "Jungkook, we need to talk." I push the cereal bowl away and turn to look at him. He rests his chin on my shoulder and tries to look at me. But he ends up with crossed eyes. I giggle at that and he blinks, backing away to a fair distance with a bunny smile. I slide off his lap and his expression falls. Jungkook rises to his feet and holds my waist first and just when I turn around and grab his wrist, he places a hot kiss at the back of my neck. I gasp, shivering once at the goosebumps that raise on my skin. I throw him a glance and when he looks back at me innocently, fire licks at my skin.  I pull at his wrist and make my way to the stairs and into my bedroom. Once in my room, I lock the door then, Jungkook gravitates towards the bed and plops down on it, sinking into the mattress. He pulls me close and buries his face into my stomach with a groan. My stomach jumps and my hand flies to hold his head just in case he decides to venture lower. I stroke his hair soothingly; he's quivering. "Jungkook?" Nothing. "Jungkook, what's wrong?" I rake my fingers through his hair, tightening my hold on the strands at the base of his neck. "Speak out loud, please?" Finally, he tilts his head to look at me. "It hurts, hyung.." He whispers. "What...?" "I don't know what to do, you need to tell me how-" He swallows loudly. "Help me. You know things.. you always did. You need to tell me." Oh God.. "What exactly do you want, baby boy?" Jungkook's cheek have a sudden pink tint to them. "Hyung- I--" He pulls me closer until I'm straddling his legs. Then he loops his arms around my waist and looks at me expectantly. The feeling of his strong, thick thighs under me makes my heart beat faster and I press a palm to his chest. Tell me you want me. Please, I'll give myself to you. "Tell me, Kookie. What do you want?" Speak out loud. He opens his mouth and my breath hitches, anticipation building up. Jumgkook's lips crash against mine suddenly and I'm frozen in shock before I respond, way too desperate. I let go of my control. I fist his soft hair in my hands, body flushing with heat every time his lips move against mine with fervor. Jungkook's fingers dig into my sides and I moan into mouth when he pulls me closer until our hips are flush with each others'. I break away with a rough gasp and grip his collar to pull him close. Jungkook pants into my cheek and my hips buck, out of my control. He hisses at that, eyes dark and wild. "Hyung.." He whines, voice light and airy. His doe eyes stare into mine and there's heat radiating from my body. "Tell me you want me. Kookie, tell me you want hyung." I place kisses over his jaw and more down his throat. I know that it's difficult for him to speak. But I need to hear him utter those words. "Speak. Now." I let my teeth sink into the thin skin over his pulse and suck hard. Jungkook gasps, hands flying to grip my hips painfully. "Yes! Hyung.. Ohh." I grind our hips together. ~ (Jungkook) Jimin hyung wants me to speak. He is asking for words when I am a shaking, throbbing and aching mess underneath him, unable to stop or even dim the fire inside of me. I am not used to feelings of this intensity and it tears me apart. But I don't want it to end, I just want – need – something. Something that's entirely him. "Speak. Now." If Jimin hyung wants words, he'll get them. Anything for him. His hips press against mine, makes my head spin. There's desire coursing through my veins just at hyung's words and I don't know how to voice them out. "You. I want you, hyung." It's extremely hard to spit those words out when Jimin hyung is in my lap, tongue lapping over a bite. "More." Jimin hyung breathes out, fingers digging into my thigh. "Tell hyung more." My hands try to grab his thighs, to pull him close, to touch him. But he slaps my hands away and a growl slips past my lips. I freeze, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. A sinful smile curls hyung's lips and he leans closer until we're just an inch away. "You wanna touch, baby boy? You want to touch hyung that bad?" His fingers curl around my wrists, restraining them from moving. "Please. Please. Yes." I whimper, slightly struggling in his hold. And I know that I'm stronger than him. I know that I can break free because his fingers barely circle my wrists. But I don't, because I need hyung's permission. "Not yet.." Still, Jimin hyung presses his lips to mine again and I almost moan in relief but his fingers only tighten their hold on me. "Words, Kookie. Or else hyung won't know what you want." He whispers against my lips and his fingers leave my wrists, trailing to the hem of my shirt. I fist my hands, trying to stop their trembling. "Good boy." The praise has my body flushing warm and yearning to hear more of it. "I want you really bad, Hyung! Want to make you mine." I blurt out. Jimin hyung pulls back to look at me and there's a flush on his cheeks that makes his skin glow. His fingers slip under my shirt and I shudder as his soft fingertips glide over my skin. "You don't know what you do to me, Jungkook." The use of my full name gets my attention and his hands cup my face. "You drive me fucking crazy." I've never heard Jimin hyung swear but it sounds nice, falling from his innocent mouth. His warm brown eyes stare into mine and my skin prickles with more heat. "Now, I'll ask you some questions, Kookie. The quicker you answer them, the quicker you get to have me." I nod rapidly, body aching to be closer to Jimin hyung. "Have you touched someone like this before?" "No, hyung. Only you." He seems to be quite satisfied with that answer because he plants a rough kiss on my mouth. "All mine, then." He groans, closing his eyes shut. My eyes drift to his thick thighs straining over mine and I gasp when my erection jumps. "Do you want to touch me without our clothes on?" Yes. "Yes." Hyung licks his lips. "Like this?" He pulls his shirt over his head and my mouth waters at the sight of his milky skin and pink nipples. I moan out loud and jerk forward to press my lips to his delicate looking collarbones. Jimin hyung gasps, thighs tightening around me and his hands lock behind my neck as I press kisses to his chest. I scrape my teeth over a pectoral, just over his nipple and roll the skin underneath my teeth lightly. "Ah!" Jimin hyung cries out softly before he pushes me back. "Questions!" He gasps before he kisses me again and this time I let my finger squeeze his thighs. I break the kiss and I reach down to take my t-shirt off. Hyung clutches the shirt and pushes the fabric up to my chest before pulling it off completely. He gives me hard shove and I fall on my back, head pressed into the pillows. Jimin hyung straddles my thighs again and this time when he grinds down, I throw my head back with a groan. "Do you know what we're going to do, Kookie?" He presses a palm flat against my stomach and his other hand grabs my hair to make me look him in the eye. My heart pounds in my chest. "We're going to h-have sex." There's a flicker of surprise that passes through his eyes. "My Kookie's grown so much.. You know what we're doing, yes?" He presses a kiss to my jaw. "Yes! I want to be inside you, hyung. Please-" My words get stuck in my throat when his hands start undoing my belt quickly. He flings it to the side and then, without hesitating starts unbuttoning my jeans and pulls the zipper down. He hooks his fingers under my jeans and looks at me. "Boxers, too." I reach down to push them but he does that for me, letting my erection spring free. Hyung stares at it shamelessly and without warning flicks his finger. My hips buck up and I almost faint when he wraps his hand around it. "I already love your cock, Kookie." He licks his lips again and continues to stare as his hand moves at a painfully slow pace. I moan when his thumb circles the head, spreading the precome. I want him like this too. Undressed. "Hyung. You too." He looks at me and he understands. He know what I want and pushes his sweats down his thighs and there's a blush on his cheeks. He lifts one knee at a time until he's completely naked. I'm blinded by his beauty and I can't look away from the soft looking shiny skin and his lean body.  "Come here." He pulls me up by my neck and I oblige, raising myself to meet him halfway for a kiss. "Don't look at me like t-that." Jimin hyung's face radiates warmth. "But you're so beautiful, hyung. Can't take my eyes off you." There are reds and purples blooming over his chest like flowers. I did that. "Hyung? Can I touch you? Like you touched me just now." He scoots closer until his cock hits my stomach and I let out a shuddering breath. "Where do you want to touch, Kookie?" Jimin hyung asks as he reaches to open a shelf of the bedside table. I wrap my arms around him, panicked that he's leaving me and end up grabbing his ass, my answer to his question shoved aside.  Hyung never told me if I could touch him here or not, I realise. Jimin hyung moans, his chest bumping into my face as he curses under his breath. He positions himself in my lap again and I don't know where to look and what to touch. Jimin hyung open the lid of the bottle in his hand and drizzles a generous amount of clear liquid onto his fingers. He holds up the bottle before me and I do the math. "Lube!" I gauge at his reaction and he giggles, nodding to confirm that my answer is right. I smile wide, happy that I got it right. "I'm going to prep myself. Will you kiss me, Kookie?" He asks sweetly, spreading the liquid over his fingers. "Hyung, should I do it for you?" Jimin hyung looks surprised that I offered but he shakes his head with a smile. He leans forward and whispers in my ear. "Next time, baby boy." Yes. Next time. I'm withdrawing my hands from his ass when he stops me. "Kiss me and don't move." He reaches behind him, fingers wet. I waste no time in slotting our lips together and hyung sighs into the kiss, hips raising off my thighs slightly. My fingers press into the soft flesh under them and the hunger's back with a new intensity. I deepen the kiss and Jimin hyung licks my bottom lip, moaning into my mouth. I grip his thighs and I groan at their softness and firmness. "Hyung.." I gasp into his neck, cock throbbing painfully for attention. "Please. Hurts. Want you so much. Jimin hyung.." He moans, neck arching and finally looks at me. "Now, fuck me, Kookie." There's lust swimming in his brown pools and my heart jumps to my throat. "Show hyung how much you missed him." His thumb traces my bottom lip. "Show me that you can fuck me good." His words make me loose control and I grab his hips and flip us over. He gave me permission.  I push his thighs apart and let my eyes rake over his body. "Hyung.. I think I'll always burn for you." His legs wrap around my waist and my cock is pressed hot and wet against his. Jimin hyung's eyes are glossy and there are so many new emotions that I can't decipher yet. "I'll always want you, Jimin hyung." I align myself and I'm swept with so many emotions. "Kookie.. " Jimin hyung's hand trails down my chest and the other one curls around my neck. He pulls me close until our chests are pressed together and kisses me softly.  "You're my first. I've never done this before." I feel my brows knit in confusion but before I can ponder about it, he moves his hips and I'm slipping inside him. I gasp loudly, eyes widening at the onslaught of the tight, wet heat. My hips slam forward until I'm completely in and Jimin hyung whimpers. "Hyung.. So good." My moan comes from the bottom of my throat and my senses are flooded with everything that is Jimin. I focus my gaze on him and he's already looking at me. I see a single tear roll down the side of his face and my heart cracks. "Hyung! Are you hurt?!" My voice is laced with fear and I lean in to kiss the tear away. "No.. It will hurt the first time, Kookie." He presses his cheek to mine and his voice turns breathy. "You feel so big, baby boy. Start moving, Kookie." I swallow before nodding. I slowly pull back and the tightness of his rim around my cock makes my eyes roll back into my head. I thrust in a little harder and Jimin hyung moans, fingers clutching my shoulders hard enough to leave marks. "Faster, Kookie. I'm fine." I pick up pace and soon there's sound of skin slapping against skin and Jimin hyung's sweet moans filling the room. My jaw slacks and I have to grit my teeth from coming into the heat that I'm buried into.  ~ (Jimin) "You don't know how long I waited for you, Kookie." I throw my head back with a loud moan when he hits the perfect spot inside, making me see stars. "Oh god, Jungkook.." I pull him down for a kiss but it's all messy and wet due to the fast pace of his thrusts. "Hyung.. Jimin hyung. You're perfect, making me feel so good." Jungkook moans out, head buried into my neck. His grip on my hips tightens and I feel heat pooling in my belly. "I'm c-close, Kookie. Ahh!" Jungkook lifts his head to stare into my eyes and I struggle to look back at him and not let my eyes roll back into my head. Jungkook's eyes go dark and he shifts, until his knees are pushes under my hips and my thighs are spread over his own. His eyes flick to where we're connected and he moans again, throwing his head back. Jungkook's thrusts pick up speed until my cock slaps my stomach with evey thrust. "Hyung.. We look so good when we're connected. You keep sucking me in, hyung." My face flushes at his words and I fight the urge to hide my face.  "Nngh.." I claw at the sheets, heat washing over me in waves. "J-Jungkook-- Ah.. So close!" There's precome pooling on my stomach and I swipe my hand over it to stop it from messing the sheets.  I want to come untouched. Only by his cock.  Jungkook grabs my hand quickly and bends forward. My jaw drops open in shock when he wraps his lips around my fingers, hooded eyes boring into mine. And then he moans like a slut, tongue dipping in between my fingers to lick them clean.  I come hard with his name as a scream on my lips, clamping down on him and Jungkook's hips stutter before I feel his hot come on my walls. He slumps forwards, gasping and panting. Jungkook is still inside me when he lifts his head from my heaving chest.  "Jimin hyung! Let's do it again!" His eyes sparkle like gems and I'm still coming down my high to think straight.  Jungkook gets a pillow to his face.  ~   Chapter End Notes IDK WTF I JUST WROTE.. I FEEL LIKE I LET YOU GUYS DOWN TT You see, I couldn't let Jikook fuck their brains out because I had to keep it soft. And writing the first fucking is hard af and awkward. *cringes so hard, falls off the bed.* Thank you for the read~ I'll update soon. <3 ***** Do you feel the same? ***** Chapter Notes Guys, I'm so fucking sorry for the delay. I can't promise quick updates in the future but I won't abandon this fic. NEVER. But I do promise to TRY updating quickly. Thank you so much for the wonderful support that y'all are giving me. You guys are so sweet TT See the end of the chapter for more notes ===============================================================================  ~ Jimin has always been pretty. He looks so peaceful in his slumber. And other worldly. Maybe I'm in some other realm where Jimin hyung loves me just as much as I love him. I never thought that hyung would let me -an eighteen year old - have him like this. He could have anyone he wanted and he still chose me. Someone who's five years younger than him. And autistic. It doesn't seen right.. Or fair, even. He deserves so much better than what I am. He at least deserves someone who express themselves 'properly'. But it feels so right. So perfect. My body is still warm and fuzzy, making me remember all the details of our love making. Or fucking, as Jimin hyung put it. And something tells me that Jimin hyung prefers his choice of words than mine. I like it, though.  I can still feel his hands on my skin, his mouth, soft plump lips pressing themselves to my skin and mouth. He made me feel loved. I still feel that warmth in my body, as I take in his scent and his warm, smaller body pressed up to me. He has an arm thrown around my neck and tangled our legs. From this angle, I can see his slanted eyelashes that flutter once in a while, casting ghostly shadows on his face. He's my version of Sleeping Beauty. The light falling through the window makes his skin shine. I move back just a little, mesmerised by his body. His chest rises and falls slowly, peacefully, littered with pretty marks. The light continues to slip down his thin waist and highlights the curved jut of his hip. The lower half of our bodies are covered with the sheets that I pulled up when we were about to fall asleep.  I slowly lift his hand off my neck and scoot down the bed. Jimin hyung has a hallo now. A golden glow behind him that gives his milky skin a pale pink tink.  Looks like someone sprinkled gold glitter on Jimin hyung. Something warm and heavy settles into my chest and my heart's beat stutters. My hands itch to capture a million pictures of Hyung with my camera. But I didn't bring it here.. Hyung starts shifting, arm patting the space which I previously occupied. I stretch upwards, leaning into his touch with a giggle. Jimin hyung is cute. His fingers tangle into my hair immediately and he sighs softly, snuggling closer to me. I have the sudden urge to kiss him. So I do. I put my hand at the back of his neck and lean forward slowly to press my lips to his. I move my lips softly and lick at his glossy bottom lip. Jimin hyung responds suddenly, hand tightening in my hair to press our lips closer. He pushes at my chest until I'm rolled onto my back and breaks the kiss to look at me. "Good Morning, Kookie." My cheeks heat up when I feel Hyung's thighs on either side of my stomach, flexing. "Good Morning, Jimin Hyung." I get a cute eye smile as a reward and I place my hands on his hips, hoping that he won't move too much. "How are feeling, hyung?" I trace circles over his hip bones with my thumbs. "Lovely. And you, Kookie? Are you alright?" He leans forward to cup my cheeks, worry clouding his eyes. "Never been better." I grab his hand and intertwine our fingers, noticing the adorable size difference of our hands. He stares me for a second with a smile gracing his lips before he speaks. "Maybe I should ride you next time, you--" I don't have the time to blush because we're startled my the unexpected knocks on the door. "Jimin?" It's my mom and I frown, wondering why she came here when I already wrote a note for her. Hyung's eyes go wide like saucers and he's suddenly scrambling off me. He almost falls off the bed but I catch him just in time to pull him into my arms, letting out a chuckle. Hyung gasps, face so close to mine and he flushes red when I kiss his cheek. "Jimin? Are you awake? Jungkook's note said that he'd be with you." She knocks again and I open my mouth to reply only to have Jimin hyung slap his hand on my lips. "Shhh!" He looks panicked as he gets off the bed and pulls on his clothes. I pout, sad that he's covering up his beautiful skin. "Yes! Mrs. Jeon. I'm awake. Just a moment." He's searching for his shirt and when it starts taking too long, I get up and pull on my jeans. I open the door just as Jimin hyung slips his shirt on and he's frozen when my mother comes into view. Her worried expression turns into shock as she looks at me from head to toe, a hand flying to her mouth. "Jungkook, why are you like this? What happened?" I hear Jimin hyung squeak behind me. "Mrs. Jeon! I can explain-- Jungkook and I -- I mean, he.. No, I--" Jimin hyung stutters and I decide to speak. "We slept together." Eomma's eyes widen comically at me for a full minute before she schools her features and clears her throat. "So, you guys hungry? It's almost time for lunch." Her eyes dart between me and Jimin hyung and I nod, stomach growling just then. Her eyes soften and she gives me a smile. "Get dressed, Jungkook-ah. Jimin and I will wait in the kitchen for you." She's taking my hyung away. "No. Jimin hyung will stay here. We'll come down in a few minutes, Eomma." She opens her mouth as if to say something but closes it quickly and gives us a funny smile before walking away with a nod. I'm closing the door when I hear Jimin hyung let out a squeak. I turn to face him and he's completely red. "Hyung. What happened?" I pluck my shirt that's dangling off the foot of the bed and pull it over my head. I take his hands in mine and hyung is visibly tense.  "Kookie, why did you say that?" Jimin hyung's usual soft voice is shaky and my hear sinks to my stomach. I tilt my head to the side, silently asking him to elaborate. "You told your mother that we slept together, Kookie! What will she think of me now?! Oh god.. She'll think that I seduced you or f-forced you into this-- And she'd never let me s-see you again. Jungkook--" Jimin hyung rambles and he doesn't seem to be able to stop. So, I silence him with a kiss and relief spreads over me when hyung responds way too eagerly, pressing himself tight to my chest. "I didn't know that we were a secret, hyung. I'm sorry." ~ (Jimin) This is it. I'm royally screwed, and Jungkook's mom will never let me touch him again. Fuck. I force my train of thoughts to stop when we enter the kitchen but I almost get a heart attack when I see our mothers gossiping, whispering wildly to each other. They smile awkwardly when they spot us and before anyone can ever speak, Mrs. Jeon walks up to me. "Jimin, I want to talk to you about something. Do you mind coming outside for a bit?" Her smile is just a little stiff and I think she won't murder me. Yet. "Eomma! I wanted to eat with Jimin hyung.." Jungkook complains, throwing his arms around me and pulling me to his chest. My face is on fire as my mother stares at us, jaw slacked.  "Now, Jungkook. This is a little important, darling. Why don't you sit here for a few minutes? Jimin and I will just speak outside, okay?" Mrs. Jeon tries to assure him but he still doesn't look convinced. "Yeah, Kookie. We'll be right outside. Will you help set the table? Then after our brunch, we can go hang out under the tree." Jungkook's eyes sparkle with excitement and I can't resist ruffling his fluffy hair. He gives me smile." Come back soon, hyung." And he's already started talking to my mom. "Huh.. That's interesting." Mrs. Jeon whispers before making way outside through the kitchen's back door. The sun shines brightly in the sky and there air is a little humid. There seems to be miles and miles of fluffy green hills behind our house. The green grass adds peace to the scenery and I wonder if Jungkook already took pictures of this view. I follow Mrs. Jeon, who stops after walking a few feet away from the house. The tire hung on the tree swings ever so slightly with the summer breeze. "Jimin-ah.. " Mrs. Jeon stares off into the distance and I'm glad that her complete attention is not on me. "You are aware of Jungkook's condition, right? He's different from the other boys.. You can't expect things from him that he possibly can't give." Defence. She turns to look at me and my chest hurts with the pain that I see in her eyes. "I know you mean no harm, Jimin.. But what do you want from my boy? You need to tell me what your intentions and expectations are before you proceed further." She crosses her arms, staring at the ground as if bracing herself for my answer. "I love him." Her eyes snap to mine, suddenly fierce. "Love, you say? Are you sure, Jimin-ah? You just met yesterday." "Yes! Yes, I love him. I really do, Mrs. Jeon. I always have.. And I will continue to love him--" My words get stuck in my throat when she starts shaking her head, face scrunched up as if she's in pain. "How can you say that?! Do you realise that both of you are five years apart? He's still very young, Jimin. And.. And what if he doesn't love you back? Is that okay?" Her voice rises with each word and I'm shocked at her outburst. "He might not be able to love you at all, Jimin. Is that okay? Will you still love my boy? I know now that he's smitten with you. He's been like that since he first met you.. " Her words lodge a lump in my throat and it suddenly hits me how complicated this it. "All that matters is that I love him. I don't care that he doesn't love me back or he doesn't feel the same. I promise to not hurt him, Mrs. Jeon." I push the words past my lips and they grate harshly against my throat on their way out. I have so much more to say..  Jungkook's mother stays silent for a minute before nodding hesitantly. "You slept together? As in, intimately?" She doesn't look at me, clearly uncomfortable. "Yes.. I swear it wasn't forced or anything-- Really!" A ghost of a smile appears on her lips for a second before she nods. "Okay. I don't need details about that. But I swear to god, if I ever found out that you hurt my boy, then I'll r--" Her death threat is interrupted by Jungkook poking his head out of the kitchen back door. He squints at us."Hyung! You're taking too long! Get inside." He crosses his arms across his chest and I smile at his squinted eyes and pouty lips. "So he doesn't care that his mother is standing outside in the sun but only worries about his hyung." Mrs. Jeon sounds angry but one look at her shows that she has a fond smile on. "Young love." She sighs dramatically and for a second, the storm in my head calms down. We start heading back in when she says. "I'm happy that he has you, Jimin-ah.." She gives me big smile and I reciprocate. "Just remember that.. Your emotions vary at a large scale when compared to Jungkook's." She swings her hands beside her carelessly. "What I'm trying to say is that," She tugs at my shirt to make me look at her. Her eyes are unfathomable. "My boy could love you more than you can possibly imagine. I hope your are capable to feel it. Even if you can't hear his words." With that, she walks inside and starts talking with my mom. Leaving me behind with a million questions in my head and a shaken heart. Jungkook appears out of nowhere and holds my hand. "Jiminnie hyung." I focus on him and his beauty takes my breath away, squeezing my ribs painfully. "You look so pretty in the sun." His eyes turn into crescents with his bunny smile. He plays with my hair, eyes shining with wonder. And I love you so much, baby bun. ~ Chapter End Notes I do hope you understand every characters' words and actions. Sorry for the mistakes. ~ ***** But who could love me? ***** Chapter Notes I'm not sure if anyone is even reading this rn but.. Anyways. My college keeps me too busy to write this fic though I have so many drafts of the upcoming chapters. Sorry for leaving this hanging. See the end of the chapter for more notes =============================================================================== ~ Brunch is already served by the time Jimin hyung and I enter back into the house. We take a seat and our mothers start serving but it’s too quiet. I can’t turn my head to look at the mouthwatering food that’s right under my nose. I can hear our moms talk about travelling and a ‘Jungkook’ and ‘Jimin’ in between but I just can’t listen because this is confusing. Jimin hyung is not looking at me. It’s such a contrast from the breakfast this morning when he sat on my lap and let me hold him. My lips twitch in an attempt to pout before I control my facial features into something that’s suitable for my age. He looks lost, staring off into space as he makes small circles on the plate with his spoon and Adam’s apple bobbing every few seconds. He looked fine a few minutes ago and it beats me why there’s a sudden change in his mood and I struggle to recall something that I might have missed but then again what seems right to me might not be right for him. He’s not telling me something. Hyung..The word tickles on my tongue, desperate to get out of my mouth but I press my lips together, placing my cutlery on the table softly. I place a hand on his knee, fingers coming in contact with soft skin from the rips of his jeans. He jumps and my mother speaks at the same time. “Jungkook-ah, why aren’t you eating? Are you not hungry, baby?” I settle my gaze of Jimin hyung’s full plate. So it doesn’t matter if he’s not eating? “No. Not hungry, Eomma.” My stomach protests inaudibly by pressing hungry fluttery butterflies into my insides. They tickle. “Hyung,” I slip my index finger into the torn denim slit and hyung’s gaze meets mine. “You’re not eating.” A pretty pink slowly seeps into his soft cheeks and I feel my mouth go dry as I watch the color turn them rosy, mesmerized from watching him blush while I’m this close to him. His puffy lips part and I slips in another finger into the torn denim, meeting warm skin. It’s suddenly too hot and I freeze when I feel goosebumps erupt on his skin from under my fingertips. For a second, I want to slide under the table and bury my face between his thighs and kiss each and every tiny bump. Hyung would so good, lips parted as he pulls at my hair in anticipation- I swallow the saliva pooling in my mouth as I realize that suddenly my pants are too tight. “I- I was just..” Jimin hyung stutters, and I work on auto-pilot, turning to face him. I slip my fingers as far as I can get and I’m able to hook my fingers into the underside of his knee. His breath hitches. “Kookie.” His small hand abruptly grips my wrist and I look at him, trying to understand his confusing behavior. Or maybe it’s normal to everyone and only confusing to me.. Am I not allowed to touch him like this? But I want to and he always let me touch him when we were younger. Hyung always let me cling to him like a desperate touch-starved kid. But then again, I was desperate for affection back then. “You should eat.” He says softly, and I almost melt when he runs his hand through my hair, mussing up the strands, making me close my eyes at the feeling. “Only if you do, hyung.” A soft smile spreads over his lips and he nods, eyes sparkly again. “After you’ve finished, come see me off, Jungkook.” Eomma gives me a little smile and I see Jimin hyung stiffen from the corner of my eye. Mrs. Park stands, taking her plate away with her as she starts speaking. “Jimin-ah, your father’s business trip will take longer than we expected so I was thinking of visiting him. Do you want to come along?” I turn to look at hyung, waiting for his answer. His eyes meet mine for a second then they flash back to his mother. “No, it’s alright. I have work to do, anyway. I’ll call him, thought.” Mrs. Park nods and I can’t contain my smile because - Hyung is staying! The atmosphere is calm from there on as we finish eating while listening to our mothers talk about a million and one things. Eomma leaves after brunch but not before calling for me. “Let’s walk a little, Jungkook.” She loops her arm with mine and I turn to Jimin hyung, surprised to see him twisting the hem of his tshirt nervously, nibbling his bottom lip. “I’ll be back, hyung!” He doesn’t look convinced, nodding hesitantly so I untangle Eomma’s arm from mine and quickly walk to my small hyung and kiss him. He stumbles a step back, mostly caught off guard and I follow his steps with a hand around his waist. His lips are as soft as I remember and he disconnects our lips after a few heavenly seconds, breathing harshly and cheeks aflame. He ducks his head, hair tickling my nose and I hug him, just feeling like I should. “Hyung.” I lean back a little and he looks up. “Wait for me.” He nods, smiling a little. Jimin hyung looks sad and when I turn around to look at my Eomma, she looks sad as well. ~ We end up sitting in the living room. Eomma sits in the puffy recliner and I throw a cushion underneath me and sit in front of the huge aquarium, staring at the different types of fish scurrying past each other and poking the glass. Some of them are so tiny, I’m worried that the other fish will eat them. “Did you eat well, Jungkook?” Eomma asks and I turn to look at her, nodding. “Yeah. It was good. Mrs. Park cooks well.” I offer a smile and she hums, lost in thought. I already know that she asked that question only to start a conversation. “You know, Jungkook.. You shouldn’t have said that today morning.” She goes straight to the point. Her eyes settle on her lap and she looks a little uncomfortable. “What?” I turn to her completely, giving her my full attention. “Jimin was embarrassed when you told me that both of you slept together.” She meets my eyes and I’m all too familiar with the look in her eyes. “But that’s what happened.” I frown at her, not getting the point. It was what happened, the truth. She shakes her head softly and a few tendrils of her hair slip out of her bun. “I know that now. But you shouldn’t say it so directly, dear. It was something very intimate. Personal, and it was supposed to be in between the both of you.. at least until the both of you talk about it together and decide to tell anyone.” I take a minute to process her words and let them digest. “Jimin was embarrassed to talk to me. I think he was scared as well.” She lets out a little laugh and I zone out, playing different scenarios. “It’s alright for me.. Whatever you do. As long as my baby doesn’t get hurt.” She gets up from her seat to crouch in front of me. Maybe that’s why Jimin hyung was so silent. He must have been - is - uncomfortable. Because of me. I focus on my mother when she runs a hand through my hair. I can’t help but notice how different it feels when Jimin hyung does it. “Jungkook-ah,” She runs a thumb over my cheek, eyes soft as she continues to gaze at me with a barely there smile on her face. Suddenly, I get a weird feeling in my chest that makes me want to tell her things that I wanted to all these years but couldn’t. She had always been there for me, looking out for me and putting my needs first before hers. She cared too much.  “Don’t get hurt, okay? You’re my world, baby. Eomma can’t bear it if anything happens to you.” The only time I’ve ever seen her eyes his glossy and watery are when I had started crying the first time I was sent to that special boarding school. Back then, Eomma had cried with me. "I won't. It's Jimin hyung." It's so obvious that that hyung can't - won't hurt me. “You’ve met your hyung after so many years so it’s normal to feel attached to him but please.. Be selfish if you have to. Think about yourself before you think about him. He.. He might get tired, Jungkook-ah. Do you.. Understand? I- I don’t know how to tell you and I’m sorry if this hurts.” She plops down to the carpet and scoots closer to me and I open my arms, letting her curl into my side. It feels different. Eomma is so small in my arms now. “I want you to tell me if you ever feel uncomfortable about anything, okay? I won’t let anything happen to you, Jungkook. Your Appa and I will be here for you all the time. Remember that. You’re not alone.” I nod, feeling too many emotions at the same time. “Thank you..” I croak out and Eomma shifts to look at me properly. “I.. Sometimes, I feel like telling you so many things.. but I don’t know how to… because there are so many things that I’m thankful about, Eomma. And it feels like there’s something heavy on my chest and I feel stupid that I can't tell you-“ I stop the senseless flow of words, and crank my neck to look at my mother. “I love you too, darling.” Eomma gives me one of her special smiles that are reserved only for me. Then she hugs me. “Just hug me whenever you can’t say what you want to.” Her eyes are like mine when she smiles wide at me. “Eomma will know.” I nod again. “Okay.” Eomma is silent for a while, gaze flickering back and forth between my eyes. I continue to stare at her and she coos suddenly, pinching my cheek. “You know.. If you look at your Jimin hyung like this, I don’t think even god can stop him from falling in love with you.” She giggles and they sound light and giddy. "He already loves me!" She blinks surprised before bursting out laughing. "Yah! Don't be a cheeky brat!" She tries to tickle me and I successfully escape her hold and soot away, laughing with her.  "If that's the case.. Good for you." She stands with a happy glow on her face, smoothing out her shirt with her hands. “Well then, Jimin must be waiting for you. Go on, I have some work to do.” When she’s almost disappearing up the stairs, she call out again. “Come back by dinner!” After staring at the lonely little fish swimming alone all by itself for at least ten minutes, I leave the house. ~ I sit on the fluffy grass, back resting against the rough bark of the huge tree. I’m starting to have a soft spot for this thing already. Jimin hyung sits on the tire swing that hangs from a fat branch, exactly seven feet away from me. His feet barely graze the ground. Maybe if he stretches his toes just a little.. The sunlight peeking up the hills hits his hair, making it glow like a golden halo. He twirls around, the rope twisting against its will. I grab my camera and take a picture. And here it is, right now, in my hands. Art. I end up taking six pictures, all of them surprisingly capturing different emotions on his face that I failed to notice. He’s staring off into space. Or.. He’s ignoring me. I don’t like that thought and I let the camera rest on the grass, standing up from my spot. I make my way towards Jimin hyung and grab at the swing, stopping its motions completely, causing hyung to look at me. “Hyung.” He fists the hem of my t-shirt with hand and my heart beat picks up. “Kookie.” He answers. “What is it, bun?” My cheeks feel hot due to the soft gaze of his. “What are you thinking about?” His gaze flicks to the ground and he proceeds to hook a foot around my calf. “Us.” The conversation with my mother suddenly strikes in my head and I speak before I think too much. “Jiminnie hyung.. Am I difficult?” I ask him, feeling my eyebrows knot. He looks surprised and he plants his feet on the ground - so his feetcantouch the ground - stopping the swing to a complete halt and face turning serious. “Who told you that?” I remain silent, waiting for his answer desperately. When continues to stare at me with a frown, I sigh. “I mean, I know that I am. It’s a stupid question.” “What?” He looks at me incredulously, sliding out of the tire swing to stand up straight. “What are you talking about Jungkook?” He tilts his head to the side, eyebrows drawn together as a frown. Here it goes again. How do I explain all my thoughts to him when the words are overflowing on my tongue? It’s so damn frustrating. I clench my fists, opening my mouth in vain. I need time.. I need time to process my thoughts and Jimin hyung continues to stare at me questioningly. This, right here was the proof that I am difficult. Even as Jimin hyung patiently waits for me, shifting from one foot to another, even as a few minutes have passed since I last spoke, I can’t seem to say anything. It’s not fair that Maybe I should first tell him the meaning and then substitute myself into the situation.. “Difficult.. As in, hard or frustrating to deal with.” Okay, this is easy. I can do it. “Since I can’t seem to understand you well, hyung. I shouldn’t have told my Eomma what we did earlier. It was.. Intimate. Private. I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. I promise to try to understand you better. I s- swear.” My voice cracks on the end of my mini-speech and my breathing is rapid, as I understand the words better when they’re falling out of my mouth. He must find it so annoying to deal with me. Jimin hyung’s eyes are wide, lips parted as he continues to gaze at me and suddenly his bottom lip starts wobbling and his eyes turn glossy. He sniffles, bringing a hand to his mouth and closing his eyes. I think I just made it worse. He was supposed to feel better and somehow I messed up again. “Hyung..” It comes out as a panicked whine but I don’t care about that right now. “I’m sorry—“ Jimin hyung suddenly has my collar in his hands and I gulp, heart galloping in my chest. “Don’t.” He whispers, pressing his forehead to my shoulder and wrapping an arm around me while the one holding my collar snakes around my neck. We stay pressed up to each other for a while in the afternoon sun, as it filters through the canopy of leaves over us. It’s warm. I relax into Jimin’s hold, the silence now very pleasant. “Don’t you dare think about this kind of crap again.. You’re not difficult, Jungkook. And you’ll never be. It’s my fault for not telling you about keeping our privacy. And, it’s fine even if you tell. I was just worried that your mother would kill me..” He lets out a nervous laugh, lifting his head to look up at me. He smiles, lips curling softly. "I adore you, Jungkookie. You don't know how much.. You're the only one I've ever loved and even if you can't stay with me in the future, I will keep loving you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.." He stops to suck in a breath and rubs our noses together. "I'm the only one Jiminnie hyung has ever loved?" There's disbelief dripping from my tone because it seems impossible that an angel like him would ever spend time thinking about someone like me. And my mind's running fuzzy right now because Jimin hyung's lips are so close. Just a tilt of my head and.. I groan out loud, squeezing my eyes shut and he laughs, mesmerizing me further. "Of course.. My first love, my first kiss, my first.." I open my eyes, waiting for him to continue and the sultry look he gives me makes my tongue feel heavy and useless in my mouth. "Fuck." There's nothing romantic or innocent about that word but hearing t fall from his soft pillow lips that were pressed against mine just this morning makes my knees weak. I clutch at his shirt, stretching the fabric a little to much but I need him closer. "Hyung, again." He hums, head tilting to side and it only brings my attention to his jaw bone. "Say it again. Wanna hear it again." Something changes in his eyes and his smile turns not so innocent.  "My baby bun likes to hear me talk dirty?" He whispers into my ear, our chests pressed together. I swallow hard, nodding shakily. "You're the only one to fuck me, Kookie. Are you happy that hyung gave you his virginity?"  "Yes. Yes. Yes, hyung! I'm so happy. Only I had you, hyung. You're only mine. Look how nice it sounds.. Jiminnie hyung is mine to love. Only mine." A low sound slips out of him and it's so soft and delicate and I want to hear more. "W-Why don't you show hyung how much you love him, Kookie?" My bloods runs hot in my veins when he licks at my neck and I gasp, feeling my hardness twitch. "Like this morning?" "Yes, just like that. We have a lot of things to discuss, baby bun.” I can’t seem to look away from his eyes that seem to be smoldering. My cheeks tingle. “Hyung will be here to help you if you’re lost.” I stop breathing when his face tilts closer, hands going to grab his hips on their own and Jimin exhales sharply, pulling me closer by his hold on my neck. “Why are your hands on my hips, bun?” I tense, breathing harshly when his lips brush my jaw and my whole body burnsas if it’s about to reduce into ashes any second. I loosen the hold of my fingers, almost withdrawing my hands, only pausing when he clicks his tongue. “I never told you to take them off. Speak up, Kookie.” He nudges my chin with his nose and I open my eyes - that I don't even remember closing - to look at him, gasping at his closeness. “Tell hyung what you want.. And hyung will let you have it.” I want to slap myself for not being able to speak when I have to especially since I babbled like a desperate horny idiot only a while back. “You just have to tell me.” He locks both of his hands at the back of my neck and I rest my forehead against his, groaning softly. “Hyung.. Please.” I manage to pant, barely able to suppress my desire. It's too much already, and we didn't even start anything.  “Please what?” He gasps when I press our hips together and my control snaps. "My hands are on your hips because I want to f-fuck you, hyung. So bad." Without thinking, I crush our lips together. Jimin hyung stumbles back by a few steps but I pull his closer and move my lips against his, moaning at their softness. “J-Jungkook!” Jimin hyung gasps harshly after breaking the kiss but I’m not done yet and it’s not fair that he looks so tempting with pink, wet lips. So naturally, I kiss him again with my hands in his hair this time, sucking at his lips and it feels so good. So, so good that I’m struck with a strong bolt of arousal that courses through me mercilessly, knocking the breath out of me. It makes me want to melt. Jimin hyung moans into the kiss and grabs my hair to rip our lips apart. “Jungk-kook! Stop.. Wait!” I press kisses into his neck, feeling his pulse flutter under my lips and it makes me crazy to know that I made his body react in this way. “Oh my god..” He pushes me lightly with a grunt and I stop this time, looking at the art that I left on his neck. “I think I just provoked the beast.” We’re still catching our breath, gazes locked with each other. “I wanted to kiss you, hyung.” “And you did a very spectacular job of that.” His eyes glimmer mischievously as he steps closer again, excitement radiating from his body. “We can have so much fun. Show hyung what else you want to do.” He licks his lips, hand running down from my chest to my stomach. “A-Anything I want?” I decide to be honest and make my confusion clear. Jimin hyung swallow hard before nodding.  “I want you, hyung. Like.. This morning. But.. I'll show you.” I watch out for any signs for discomfort but all I get are his molten eyes and swollen lips. “Of course. My Kookie can have his hyung however he wants and whenever he wants.” I nod, heart thudding painfully hard in my ribs as I let the implication sink in. “Bedroom?” He links our fingers, pulling me towards his house. “My bedroom. I want to see you on my sheets.” I steer him in the other direction, catching him with a giggle when he trips on thin air, a blush coloring his cheeks. ~ ===============================================================================   Chapter End Notes I can't guarantee regular updates. TT Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!