Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/335290.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Terminator, Terminator_Salvation
  Relationship:
      Kyle_Reese/Marcus_Wright, Kate_Brewster/John_Connor
  Character:
      Kyle_Reese, John_Connor, Blair_Williams, Kate_Brewster, Star, Marcus
      Wright
  Additional Tags:
      Language
  Series:
      Part 1 of What_Life_Tastes_Like.
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-02-08 Words: 4342
****** Know Where It Leads ******
by Lopaka_Tanu
Summary
     Reacting to Marcus' sacrifice, Kyle finds himself unable to cope with
     the new changes in his life.
Notes
     Takes place just before the last scene and immediately after the
     movie.
See the end of the work for more notes
All was quiet in the tent. The others had left hours ago. Even Star had had
someone to take her to a place where she could rest. In all that time he had
been unable to bring himself to look away from the body.
Numb, Kyle could only stare down at the sheet covered form.
His eyes burned from unshed tears. He had cried most of his life for those he
had lost. His mother, his father, the people he now could barely recall. All of
that seemed unimportant to him now.
He, just, couldn't understand why he had done it. Everyone was saying how great
it was. Such a noble sacrifice could only have come from a human heart, how
ironic. They praised Marcus for being a man in the end. He had stood up and
done what was needed for the good of all man kind. Someone had even politely
covered the metal hand for him.
Prying at the rags that he lay wrapped in, Kyle tugged it free. He exposed the
machine parts that lay hidden. This was the man he knew. This was the person
who had risked everything and come for him.
Closing his eyes, he finally looked down, dropping his chin to his chest.
Marcus was gone. There had been nothing noble or special in his self sacrifice.
He was just another body to be forgotten.
~~~~~~~~~
It was almost dark by the time he stumbled out of the helicopter. Dust kicked
up by the slowly dying blades stung at his nose. He frowned at the stench of
sulfur and scorched trees. A heavy weight settled in his stomach with the
realization that a battle had recently happened here.
He slowed to search the world around him. The others knew where they were
heading, so left him behind. Seeing, Kyle stopped dead in his tracks. For the
first time, he was really in an actual resistance base. What he saw didn't
inspire much confidence.
This place wasn't like anything he had expected. Blackened earth and the burned
stumps of trees surrounded them. What was visible above ground looked like so
many bombed out hovels back home. He recognized building foundations where the
structure had been blown away. But for the lack of skyscrapers, there was no
difference. Eyes stinging, he forced himself to look down at his feet.
He might as well have stayed back in L.A.
A soft hand settled on his shoulder in what he thought was an attempt at
caring. Only a few calluses marred her gentle touch. The familiar smell of a
fading perfume teased at his nostrils. This was the wife of John Connor.
Shrugging off her hold, he trudged past the few stragglers after the others.
This was his home now, for all the good it would do him. He would probably die
here. Star too.
Thinking of her made him glance about. Guilt made his heart flutter as he
realized that he hadn't even looked for her before they left. For all he knew,
she was back at the...Swallowing, he tore his mind away from it. Now was not
the time.
The dim security lamps provided enough light to see by. It took a few moments,
but he found her by the copter. She wasn't looking for him, though. No, her
entire attention was focused on that woman with the strange eyes. She watched
the woman in rapt fascination.
Kyle 'hmmed' to himself. He had heard those words before, but only now
understood them.
Focused on Star, the woman smiled hesitantly as she spoke. Her fingers ran over
the girl's face.
It took Kyle a few moments to realize she was checking for wounds, and probably
wiping away tears. Now that he really looked, he saw them glittering in her
eyes. Yet, she wasn't looking for him, to him for comfort.
Feeling a burning running down his cheek, Kyle clenched his jaw. A cool breeze
stung at his skin, chilling the moistened cheek.
She was better off.
Putting it from his mind, Kyle turned and marched into the base. He didn't know
the words for most of what he saw and it didn't matter. Now that he was part of
the resistance, he would learn it all. This was what he had wanted and he was
finally going to live it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
There weren't very many lights this far in the tunnels. It was quiet too. He
could plainly hear the scrape of his own boots as they dragged across stones
with each step. What few people he could see were stretched out on beds built
into the walls. Each row was stacked three high, all the way up to the ceiling.
Kyle wiped at his cheek. Eyes drooping, he tried to keep them focused on the
back of the larger man. He kept a slow, but steady pace that was growing harder
to follow through the maze. There was definitely no way his tired mind would be
able to recall the way back.
The man glanced back, his dark skin reflecting in dim bulb they passed by.
"Keep your eyes to yourself back here. People like their privacy when they're
not on duty."
It was something he had already planned on. Nodding numbly, Kyle trained his
gaze on the other man's. "Who do I report to?"
"No one." The man paused, then spun to face Kyle. He moved alarmingly fast in
the narrow space.
Stopping midstep, he had to back up a little to keep from running into the man.
When his arm was snatched up in a punishing grip, he winced. "Hey!" The man
held on through his jerk to free himself, fingers settled over the red armband.
Suddenly, the man was glaring down right in his face. "No matter what they said
or what this means, you're not one of us." His voice was low, but flat. It was
almost like he didn't really care one way or the other about his words. "You
don't get a gun, you don't fight, you're nothing until you prove yourself to
us. That's the way it is, kid. Do you understand?"
The lump in his throat grew as he stared up with burning eyes. Kyle nodded his
agreement. He should have known it wasn't that easy.
The man gave his arm another squeeze before releasing it. Stepping back, he
cocked his head to the side quickly in a gesture of disappointment. "Nothing
personal, boy, but we've been through way too much shit to trust even someone
pretty as you."
That comment startled him. Eyes now wide, Kyle took another step back.
Not seeming to notice, or maybe just not caring, the man spun and continued on.
"Blair made that fuckin' mistake when she brought that metalhead in. Talkin'
and acting just like one of us, that's some messed up shit." Shaking his head,
he reached out to smack a hand that appeared off a bunk. "I wouldn't put it
past them to try using Bambi next."
Swallowing again, Kyle followed reluctantly at a slower pace. He didn't know
what a 'Bambi' was, but had a feeling that these people wouldn't hesitate to
shoot it.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Pleasure flushed his body, so intense that it left him gasping. Eyes
fluttering, he grasped desperately behind him to hold on. The next thrust sent
him forward onto his hands and he smacked face first against the bricks. His
cheek bounced off the stones and scraped his cheek.
Kyle winced, but the pain was nothing compared to the fire in his ass. Too big!
The words kept chanting through his mind as he canted his hips to ease the
pressure. Large hands slid up his sides to grasp his chest.
Just as fast as he had fallen forward, he was jerked back against a hard body.
This was punctuated by another thrust deep inside him. Grunting, he clenched
his teeth to keep from crying out. It was rough and punishing, filthy and
pleasurable at the same time. Sweat ran down his bare chest while fingers
traced it straight to his groin and gripped him tight.
God, it was everything he had ever wanted!
He was whimpering when one of those massive paws covered his mouth. He jerked
his head to the side, but only encountered the straining muscles of his lover's
throat. Inhaling, the smell of the man made him groan louder.
"Shh." But the command was undercut by the man's own moan. Low in his throat,
he growled as Kyle clenched around him.
Closing his eyes, Kyle curved against the broad chest. He pressed the side of
his face into the crook of that massive neck and just road him. Each thrust was
hard and fast, making him jump. Marcus' hips slapped against his ass and he
wanted to scream.
Eyes popping open wide, he snorted awake. He sucked in a pained breath while he
oriented himself to his environment. The room was dark and the bedding under
him soft. These were strange sensations to him. It took Kyle several moments to
remember this was the resistance base.
He remembered now. Feeling shaky, he rubbed a hand over his face. Skynet had
come for them and he was no longer alone.
Kyle stared up at the bunk above him. That wasn't true. There was no point in
looking around to see if anyone else was awake. They wouldn't want to talk to
him. No one even seemed to know that he existed.
After laying there for a few more minutes in the silence, he curled on his side
and sat up. The bed groaned softly under his weight. Sliding off the bed, his
entire lower half clenched, protesting the sudden change in position. Gasping,
he grabbed the bed to keep from falling over. It was an effort to keep from
waking the others up.
He sucked in a painful breath through clenched teeth. Forcing himself to take
deep, slow breaths, he began to relax. This wasn't the first time it had
happened in the past three days. He was certain it wouldn't be the last.
Sleeping on the mattress was going to take some getting used to. So was having
sex. Then again, it wasn't like that was ever going to happen again.
Eventually, the pain subsided to the point where he could move freely and the
muscles slackened. Releasing the bed, he straightened to his full height. He
took a stumbling first step to try his weakened muscles. When they gave no
protest, he sighed with relief.
Heading back the way he could remember, he quickly came upon a main corridor.
The barracks were little more than an extension off the central tunnel. A metal
hatch had been welded at a service junction to serve as a door, but other wise,
there was no difference. The entire base was made that way. Families had their
own separate areas, but most slept in these sectioned barracks.
By the time he reached the steel hatch, he was walking normally without fear of
a relapse. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one had noticed. When
he found the other six occupied bunks owners still sleeping, he sighed with
relief. Then he continued on. Even though it was still a few hours until
sunrise, maybe there would be food.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
His sense of smell brought him out into a large, brick chamber. One moment he
was surrounded by darkened tunnels, the next he was suddenly exposed in
brilliant light. Instinctive panic made his his heart squeeze painfully in his
chest and his eyes darted about for cover. It took him a few seconds to realize
this wasn't outside.
There were people here sitting at tables, eating. He had found where they kept
their food.
By the time he had his wits about him, his pulse was racing and chest aching.
Shaking it off, he scrubbed a hand over his forehead. This was going to take
some getting used to.
Shaking his head, Kyle studied the room. The walls were far apart and the
ceiling high. It was supported by massive stone pillars. He could tell the room
wasn't original to the base, by the bricks. They were different from the smooth
tunnels and almost blue in color.
Kyle frowned. That wasn't right. It wasn't color he was trying to remember, it
was another word. It meant color, but not exactly, more specific. Groaning, he
searched for the food.
If there was a central place for food, then he could get some there. He hadn't
much chance to be around large groups of people, but his father had taught him
some 'manners'. One was, if they liked you and had food to spare, they shared
it together. All you had to do was ask.
The hard part was finding a place to ask for it. He found a large metal cart
with lights on it. There were pieces of glass over it like armor plates. One
man was at it with a tray. Kyle's thoughts were proven true when the man dumped
a yellow mass on his tray.
Scrambled eggs. Putting a hand to his stomach, he tried to squeeze the hungry
growl out. He had last seen scrambled eggs when he was six years-old. His
father had raided a pigeon's nest to get them. They had eaten the pigeon for
supper.
He started to take a step towards the cart when he felt a weight on his
shoulder. Curious, he glanced back.
Scowling at Kyle, the man's face was half covered in white scars. His left eye
didn't quite focus on where his right one was.
Kyle clamped down on a shiver. "Yes?" The hand tightened over his shoulder
until he winced.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Voice a harsh rasp, the man stepped closer until
he was physically looming over him.
Trembling, Kyle glanced back at the doorway he had come through. He thought
about making a run for it, but the hand kept him firmly in place. Anger fought
with the fear and he met the man's gaze. "I smelled the food."
"Fuckin' rats." Using his bulk, the man spun around and dragged Kyle with him.
He gave him a solid shove back towards the doorway. " Bitch, you show up here
stinkin' again, I'm putting a god damned hole in your head!"
The sudden impact against his back sent Kyle stumbling a few steps. Rage made
his fists clench as he caught his balance. He glared his shoulder with the
intention of fighting back when movement off to his right caught his attention.
He came to a quick halt and stared at her.
She snapped her fingers. That was all it took for the room to fall silent.
He hadn't realized there were people talking until they quit. Kyle stared at
her, eying up a potential new threat. It was after a few seconds he realized he
knew her. The lack of makeup made her almost a new woman, her skin was slightly
darker and eyes duller. "What, you got something to say too?"
"There's rules." She held up a hand to silence the half-blind brute. "If you
wanna eat, you have to act like a human."
What the hell was she talkin' about? Kyle frowned. He looked from one person to
the other, hoping for some explanation. There was none coming. They were all
deliberately ignoring him. "I am human."
"Yeah, but you smell like rotten cunt!" The scarred idiot had swelled up in
size again, doing his level best to intimidate.
His cheeks burned red so much that it hurt his skin. "It's not my fault."
Lowering his arms, he tried not to give himself a noticeable sniff.
Clearing her throat, the woman's lips twitched. It was obvious by the set of
her features that she was trying to keep from laughing. "What Oppenhaus is
trying to say is, you need to shower. Then you can join us here." She took a
step towards the door, and indirectly, Kyle. "You need to head back the way you
came, second turn on the right, and follow the sound of flowing water."
Eyes on his feet, Kyle grit his teeth together. He spun on his heel and marched
back towards the door. Casting them both another resentful glare, he bit out,
"I wouldn't want to be around you people anyways."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scratching at his greasy hair, he kept his eyes on the ground. Even though he
had been welcomed as one them by their leader, that had still happened. This
place was dangerous. If possible, he felt less safe here than back in L.A.
It wasn't supposed to be that way!
It didn't make sense. These were his people. There should have been some
feeling of belonging. He was supposed to be comfortable here.
Glancing up only to see where he was going, Kyle made sure not to make eye
contact with those he passed. There was nothing in his way. So, he dropped his
eyes back to the ground and kept on marching forward.
He hadn't known what he was expecting. In his dreams he had been welcomed like
he belonged. Face strained, he cast glances every few steps.
It didn't matter at all, what he had been through, though. They were supposed
to welcome him. Clenching his fists, Kyle grit his teeth. He was one of them!
Instead, here he was shuffling about their base like an intruder.
He stepped to the side to give a monster of a man room to walk by. It was an
automatic response. He hadn't even thought about it before doing it. That sent
a chill down his spine. He was responding to them like they were animals, or
worse, machines. Eying the man's back, Kyle tried to keep from shivering. Those
muscular arms could do some serious damage to him and probably not even notice.
It wasn't a pleasant thought.
Bitterness twisted in his stomach. Hearing it growl made him look down at his
clothes. The red band on his arm felt too tight. To keep from thinking about
who it had belonged to, he focused on his body's needs and started off. That
promised shower would at least make him feel physically better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heavy moisture made breathing harder. In the distance, Kyle could hear droplets
of water hitting a hard surface, but it sounded different from the rain. He had
never heard it sound quite like this and he slowed as he drew near. Closing his
eyes, he let the warm air flow over his skin.
Breathing deeply, he wheezed a little from the thickness. It made him swallow a
couple times until his nose and throat grew used to it.
By then, he could hear more than the water. Raised voices drew his focus and he
strained to make out their words. They grew louder as he approached a bend in
the corridor, but he still couldn't understand them. By the time he felt the
tickle of distant spray, he heard something else.
Low and pained, a distinctly male voice moaned from the showers. This was
followed by a woman's whimper.
Kyle froze. Eyes wide, he peered around the corner, and found a steam filled
exit to the tunnel. Dim white light lit up the steam, giving it an unreal
appearance.
The woman groaned, deep and pained. It ended with a high-pitched whimper.
Hearing the man groan again, Kyle's eyes widened further. His heart pounded
deep in his chest and made his skin tingle with a remembered touch. He finally
recognized that sound, but not the voice. Having never heard it from a woman
before, he hadn't realized at first.
They were having sex.
Ears burning, he hissed through his teeth. Why was it always something around
here? He wanted to eat, but those two...fuckers were fucking. He hadn't been
around people, but he remembered well what his father had taught him. You don't
spy on people having sex!
Feeling light headed, he stared longingly at the showers. He needed to shower.
Now that they had brought it to his attention, he really did stink. Leaning
against the wall, he tried to calm himself. He needed to get in there.
The woman's next moan filled the corridor. "Yes!"
"You two cut it the fuck out!"
Kyle jumped. Arms flying, he brought them up to defend himself and faced the
threat. When his large eyes found that woman again, he scowled at her. He
exhaled through his nose loudly to draw her attention.
Her strange eyes flicked to his face. The stormy expression on hers shifted to
a patient smile. "Sorry about that. It wasn't until after you left I remembered
what goes on in there. That's the one place where we're clean enough..."
"You mean after you basically told me to go die in a hole somewhere," he
interrupted. Apparently he wasn't feeling very charitable. Crossing his arms,
he put his back up against the wall. No longer sure of himself, he glanced down
at the floor.
She took a step towards him, hand reaching out. When he backed away, she sighed
and let her arm drop. Her body shifted to an uncomfortable stance. "Sorry about
that. We're not used to having new blood around here. Especially not someone
who doesn't know the ropes."
Snorting, he refused to look up at her. "I know plenty of ropes. I found a few
in my years on my own."
"That's not what..." she trailed off with a sigh. It was becoming obvious she
didn't know how to handle this. "Look, kid, there's just a few things you need
to know about this place. We don't really want you to fuck off. It's just, we
got a lot on our plates already. Teaching some greeny how to piss isn't
something most of us have time for."
Anger welled up inside him so powerful that he trembled. He banged his clenched
fists back against the bricks to keep from taking a swing at her. "I'm not a
greeny, whatever that means! I know how to piss, fight, and kill." On a sudden
urge, he smacked a hand into his chest, pointing a finger at his heart. "I
survived on my own for four long years! Star and me were just fine until..."
The woman interrupted him with a frown, "Star?"
His eyes went wide. Pain flared in his chest and he gasped. "Where is Star?"
Unable to focus his eyes on anything, he fell back to the wall for support. How
had he forgotten her?
"You don't have to worry about her any more." She reached out to him, placing a
hand on his shoulder. The curve of her eyes and tightening of her lips tried
for sympathetic. "Star is being taken care of, along with the other children.
She'll be happier with them."
Chin now resting on his chest, Kyle sobbed a little. She was right, and that
made it hurt all the worse. While it hadn't been easy, life hadn't been this
bad since before Star. He was going to have to get used to it again. For the
first time, he wondered why he had ever been so eager to meet the resistance.
"I wish Marcus had never found me." The words hurt coming out, but the moment
he said them, he felt a little better.
"Don't ever say that!" Her hold of his shoulder clenched painfully. "No matter
how anyone might feel about what he was or why he did it, he was a good man. By
bringing you out of L.A., he helped deliver the greatest victory to date. He
died a hero, never forget that."
Shrugging off her hand, he shook his head. The noise from the showers had died
down to low moans. He could just barely hear them over the hiss of falling
water. It didn't matter anymore. "That isn't what I meant." Shaking his head
again, he turned back the way he had come and started off.
"Kyle?"
He ignored her use of his name. It didn't matter. For some reason, he wasn't
hungry any longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~
In all the insanity of the past couple days, Kyle had never been so happy to
see a sunset in all his life. Sucking gently on the piece of jerky, he savored
the flavor. It was the one thing he could find that even remotely looked
appealing in the garage. Too bad it wasn't enough. His stomach still hurt, but
he was used to that.
It wasn't like he was going to have a full belly for a while. There was no way
he was going back into that room again. Reaching up, he pushed his oily hair
off his face. He was going to live the only way he knew how.
From his perch in the rafters of a garage, he could see out over the fields.
Trees, actual trees, not just the scrub that grew back in L.A., dotted the
land. He could see their dying leaves sway in the breeze. A fire had killed a
lot of them, but others were dying from the dry weather.
It wouldn't be long before the already scorching temperature shot up until
everyone was forced to sleep during the day. They already should have been. It
was hot and dry here. Back in L.A., he would be getting ready for the hunt
about now. Star would need food and scavenging was...
Sucking in a shaky breath, he wiped at his eyes. That wasn't necessary. They
were safe here away from the machines.
Drawing a knee to his chest, he braced himself against the pillar. His other
leg hung freely over the rail he sat on. The dying light shined through the
garage's open door to warm his skin. He would be comfortable here for a short
time, then the winds would pick up and he'd have to get down. Until then, he
was safe away from it all.
If only he could stay here forever.
 
THE END............................
End Notes
     Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Terminator or Terminator
     Salvation.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!