Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/972163.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Mortal_Instruments_Series_-_Cassandra_Clare
  Relationship:
      Magnus_Bane/Alec_Lightwood, Alec_Lightwood/Jace_Lightwood, Original_Male
      Character/Alec_Lightwood
  Character:
      Alec_Lightwood, Magnus_Bane, Jace_Lightwood, Original_Male_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Canon_Divergence
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-09-19 Updated: 2013-10-02 Chapters: 2/? Words: 8369
****** King of Hearts ******
by soulgusttheguardian
Summary
     Hiding secrets is what we do here. But sometimes it gets hard when
     there are so many to keep. {Alec centre. Malec, Jalec, OCxAlec. Semi
     AU.}
Notes
     So it'll be explained but sort of as a into- there are a lot more
     shadowhunters and so quite a few OCs. None of them are very important
     except Jason and Damien.
     I'm not sure how to write Sebastian so I just sorta made him ooc, I
     apologize for that.
     Also Simon and Clary and Luke and Jocelyn are all shadowhunters at
     the Institute currently.
     And my last note! The people are anthro. I know a lot of people hate
     that but I drew Alec as one and he was cute and it gave me good ideas
     so yeah.
***** King of Pain *****
I never believed in anything but my own strength.
Anything can let you down, but I know I can count on myself. I can count on the
raw will to fight and survive and live to save me.
My mother used to tell me sometimes that if you have someone to fight for-to
protect-that you will be that much stronger.
I didn't believe her.
Love is just a fool's dream.
+++++
My footsteps were quick as I rushed down to the main foyer. My team was all
there- and I gasped with relief. It was short lived however, because of a
rather noticeable lack of Jace's pant leg and a huge gash on his flesh.
Isabelle was reprimanding him as she and Simon drug him into the Institute. His
lips were stained bloody but they were still smirking and I wanted to slap him.
Instead I clutched at my Parabatai rune and willed it to stop aching.
At the bottom of the steps I turned and followed them as they headed to the
infirmary. "Is he okay?" I asked, feeling my ears twitching with worry.
Isabelle nodded. Her white and black tail was bleeding as well, but she didn't
seem too bothered by it.
In the infirmary, Simon laid Jace down on a bed and started to peel back the
leather of the unconscious boy's pants so we could see the extent of the
damage. Isabelle shoved a hasty, scribbled list at me before joining.
The healing supplies were in the basement, so I knew the unspoken command and
headed down there without instruction. The only thing that really bothered me
about the basement was the chill it always had. No matter how hot, you could
always count on these old stones and bricks to have captured water and keep you
cool. Seeing how it was already cold though, I didn't much enjoy having the
extra added.
Huffing, I pulled my vest against me and set out for the supply closet.
The things Isabelle wanted were common and probably already up upstairs. My gut
churned at that. She had sent me away again, thinking I wouldn't want to be
there to see Jace being operated on.
I cursed under my breath, using one hand to brush back my hair. The other took
a roll of bandages from the shelf and a pair of scissors. Those were tucked
into one of my vest pockets and I set about looking for the rest of the things.
The dust was almost unbearable down here, and it didn't help when you're
knocking stuff around (and who even thought a rug was a good idea down here?)
and having to blow dust off to read half the labels.
"Good grief." I hissed. "Why the hell can't Isabelle get her own stuff?"
Vaguely I registered footsteps and then the door slammed shut. Familiar
whistling came echoing down the halls, near where I was.
"Alec?"
"In here." I replied. The person took a few more steps before peering into the
conclave where I was. Sebastian's fur was bright red from the snow outside, and
his eyes were slightly watered. "Is it windy?"
He nodded. "Very. What are you doing?" He eyed my movements around the room for
a bit before I answered.
"Isabelle sent me to get stuff. She didn't want me in there while Jace was
being healed." My tone was slightly short. Sebastian nodded curtly in response.
"In her defense... You did kind of freak out last time."
I straightened up from where I had been looking on the bottom shelf and turned
to him with an unamused glare. He chuckled, raising his hands in mock
surrender.
"He's my Parabatai, I feel myself hurt when he is. How am I not supossed to
freak out?"
Sebastian grinned at me. His face lowered just enough so he was making eyes
contact through his bangs. "What?" I asked, snarling.
He shrugged. "Nothing, nothing. You're too upright. You need to relax." He made
a move toward me and grabbed onto my shoulder; where he began to very roughly
push his fingertips. I winced, my tail curling with displeasure. "Alec you're
stiff as a board!" He teased. "You really need to relax."
Both his hands now moved to the base of my neck and began the repetitive motion
of pressing in a circle, then easing, then pressing again. Instinctively I
bunched them and sighed while my eyes slipped shut. Sebastian's fingers were
cold, and slightly wet from the snow outside, and even through my thick vest I
could feel that his claws were barely covered in ice. Nevertheless something
about this chill was nice, comforting- relaxing.
A laugh made me open my eyes and I stared up at my friend for a second after
questioningly. He tipped his head and laughed again. "I thought you had gone to
sleep."
"Not yet." I sighed. The pain in my rune was throbbing and I once again went to
rub at it.
Sebastian's hands moved back to my shoulder blades and he pushed them against
me with a force that made me stumble slightly. "Sorry." He murmured. "Feeling
better?"
I shook my head. "What is it?" He continued.
"Jace is just..." I raised my eyebrows as I thought of an appropriate word. "An
idiot. And I'm left to wonder if he'll live on a regular basis,"
"You don't have a choice." Sebastian responded gently. "If he dies-"
"I know."
"So it is natural to worry." His words halfway slipped past my hearing, as I
was feeling my exhaustion take over.
I groaned, frustrated, and stepped back from him to continue collecting my
things. Once I had finally found the last one, I left the basement casually;
swiftly. Sebastian didn't say anything or follow me, but I felt his eyes and it
made me uncomfortable.
++++
In the infirmary, Isabelle took what I had collected and pretended she needed
it; but I saw the tense in her uncovered shoulders that suggested she knew I
had caught on to her. Simon was across the room dabbing a wet cloth on my
Parabatai's forehead.
"Isabelle he is feeling less feverish." The glassesed boy noted with a glance
over at us. His dark hair was matted with water and his sweatshirt was dripping
a huge puddle underneath him. In an instinctual effort to dry off he flicked
his ears multiple times and reached back to wring out his tail with one hand.
My sister dropped the scissors onto the counter and then took the strips of
bandages to the bed. Jace looked like he was going to be sick; twitching in his
sleep and eyes flickering behind his eyelids. I cursed under my breath. Why
hadn't I gone with them? This wouldn't have happened.
My hands went to my shoulders as I tried to relax myself like Sebastian had
just done in the basement. It didn't work. I was shaking too much; biting my
lip and holding down cries of pain as my bonding rune pulsed and ached. Jace
was in dear trouble. I knew he was hurt, but this...
A shocked gasp left my lips when a hand not my own touched my side and directed
me from the room. A quick glance over my shoulder confirmed who it was, though
that did nothing to console me.
The walk down the halls was silent and uncomfortable. My father didn't say
anything to me; didn't try to console me; didn't try to tell me my adopted
brother-his adopted son-would be okay. He just stared ahead and occasionally I
heard him sigh.
As we neared my room, the hand let go of me and I heard him stop walking so I
did as well to turn and face him. It had been several months since we had seen
him and this was his hello? Disappointment was so often with him that I hated
how it raged in my chest now; followed swiftly by the urge to smack him. Last
time I had seen him he had been insulting me and my siblings; over what I can't
even recall- but I can feel the sting of his hissed words like they were being
branded onto my forehead at this moment.
"Alexander." Was the first thing he spoke. His voice was the same as last time.
Apathetic and cold. Empty.
Disgusted.
Right. That's what the argument had been about.
The sudden realization made my ears lay flat back against my hair; and I
narrowed my eyes as I straightened and squared my shoulders at him. He just
blinked, as though Jace wasn't dying and I wasn't-
"Why did you allow Jace to get hurt?"
The anger was evident in his voice. That's right. Because even though he hated
Jace he hated me more and could at least praise my blonde brother for being so
noticeable.
"I wasn't with them." I snapped. "I couldn't do anything."
His eyebrows raised. "So you're blaming this on your sister?"
"No. But how do you expect me to do-"
"Alexander," now he sounded completely pissed. Part of me was satisfied. Part
of me was not. "Tell me what happened."
I glared at him, feeling a growl bubble out of my throat. "I wasn't there. How
should I know?"
"Why weren't you there?"
"I had no choice." My response was quick and short; clipped off the edge of my
patience.
His eyes sparked with interest and dissatisfaction and distrust. Of course.
Can't believe anything a fag says.
"Just because I keep secrets doesn't mean I'm a liar!" I continued with a step
forward. I dug my claws into my own palms instead of his face. "I had to stay
here. We didn't know where we would be ambushed, so I stayed-"
"Jace would not leave his weakest team member alone." My dad spat back. His
eyes were shadowed by his bangs; which I only now realized probably hadn't been
cut in a long time. The dark fur around them looked tidy as usual, never mind
the snow and wind. He must have used a portal.
"I'm not weak."
"You are."
I felt my hand twitch. I desperately wanted to catch my claws in that stupid
smirk and tear his lips. See how he likes that. My own lips trembled slightly
at the reminder of the bruising punch I had received there last time.
With a snap of breath, I turned and began to finish the walk to my doorway.
When Robert called after me I ignored him until I was inside, then made a point
of slamming the door. His angry voice rose for just a second before he cursed
and left; his footsteps thudding down the hall.
"I'm gonna be in trouble later." I mumbled to my myself. My head rolled back as
I stretched my shoulders; a sound of irritation passing my lips as I curled my
toes and leaned back onto the balls of my feet. It didn't really matter anyway
though, because no matter what I did my dad would always hate me. Without the
knowledge of me being gay he had for some reason has something against me every
time I saw him. Be it because I had let Isabelle get wet during a rain storm or
I didn't help my mother with something, (never mind that she is a Shadowhunter
and perfectly capable of carrying one bag by herself) it didn't matter. But now
he knew my secret and everyday I had seen him since had been hell.
I slowly leaned back against one of the bedposts, hands grabbing it behind me
to keep from falling one way or another off it, and with a soft sigh I let my
eyes fall shut.
The only place I had peace anymore.
My dreams.
++++
A wild tiger was crashing through the halls of the Institute. On his heels was
a tall, bruised wolf with blazing eyes and broad shoulders leading down to a
slender waist. The wolf's face was bleeding and his breath was jerky. His chest
was torn.
He was going to die.
His dark fur and short black hair looked familiar to me as I watched. And he
collapsed against the wall before he could run any farther. I tried to
approach; to call; to help- but before I could figure out why I couldn't
another figure appeared. Caped in black leather all I could see of his face
were yellow eyes that shone like brilliant diamonds. He crouched by the wolf
and a few words were exchanged before the man in the cloak shhed him. His
finger's fur was a deep yellow, and from them burst blue sparks that scattered
around like they had their own mind before disappearing into the injury on the
wolf's chest. I watched in awe as the wound stitched itself and the bleeding
stopped almost instantly.
The man with magic suddenly whirled to look at me. He was on his feet in
seconds and grasping at my neck to pull me close to him.
"You don't belong here!" He hissed dangerously.
"I'm sleeping!" I responded nervously; shaking when more sparks came from his
fingers.
His eyes softened and more a moment I swore he was grinning as he leaned away.
"Then my apologies. Please sleep in peace."
The sparks circled my face and sank into my forehead; ripping a scream from my
lips. It didn't hurt. But the sparks made me feel numb and I could feel them
worming in my brain as they left trails of non-feeling behind them. Drowsiness
overcame me swiftly and without warning. The man in the robe took me in his
arms and lowered me to the ground as my body lost control and feeling. My heart
fluttered wildly.
"Sleep, Nephilim." He murmured.
And I did.
++++
I woke up with the strange feeling of warmth surrounding me that I couldn't
explain. Groggily, a few groans escaped my lips while I struggled to wake
myself the rest awake. My curtains were pulled back and it was with annoyance
that I remembered I hadn't shut them last night.
...Nor had I gotten into bed.
I jolted up; flinging blankets in all directions. My sleep shorts were hanging
on my hips, and I was notably shirtless. Someone had changed me. And put me in
bed.
A fierce blush warmed my face as I glanced around sharply; hoping no one ended
up hiding in the shadows of my room. Though it wouldn't surprise me.
I swung my legs off the bed, my feet touching the cold floor with a flinch. The
courtyard just outside my window was covered in snow. It was blizzarding down
in waves upon waves, spiraling in the currents of wind. Even in this time of
year, this much snow was very unusual; irking my curiosity and then proceeding
to being shoved back into the far edge of my mind. I could think about it
later. For now I needed to know just how I ended up in clothes that I didn't
put on myself.
A knock interrupted my thoughts. It was short; but hard, and the fact I hadn't
heard footsteps approaching suggested it was none other than the light footed
man who so often was able to sneak up on me. "Yes?"
"Are you awake?"
I chuckled. "No."
The door pushed open anyway and a curly, dark furred wolf stepped into my room.
His glasses were slightly askew on his long muzzle, his green dress shirt
untucked from his dark blue jeans. "Morning."
"Luke." I replied, rubbing my eye again. "How can I help you?"
"Your father requested your attendance. He is about to leave back to Idris."
This time I groaned out of annoyance. No way did I want to be woken just to go
be insulted again. "When?"
"Within the hour."
I nodded. Luke stepped out of the room, pulling the door closed like he could
sense my thoughts. Quickly I searched my room for my dark pants, and slid them
on after removing my shorts. Next a shirt. Not that I had much variance in my
wardrobe anyway. Dryly I pretended to pick through things the way my sister
did, before finally dragging out a short sleeved grey shirt and putting it on.
An image of an injured Jace came to mind and I felt my heart stop at the
reminder. Staying here and ignoring my father was not an option. I had to go
see Jace, and if I did Robert would find me anyway. It couldn't be helped.
The trek down to the portal was unpleasant. The air was tense everywhere and no
one would look at me as I passed. News of Jace being injured must have spread.
Me being his Parabatai, it made me look like I wasn't paying attention to him
when he was in danger, and that was not something I wanted people to think. The
Clave was already on short tempers with me due to all the arguing with my
parents and I; not to mention if they had decided to tell them about my
preferences...
I snarled. That decision wasn't anyone's but mine. They should not be allowed
to say I can or can't do something. How was it any different than Isabelle
sneaking out to party? Or Jace dragging home people all the time? There weren't
any rules about that.
"Alec,"
My surprise was evident as I stopped; my walk turning into a jump and a shriek
leaving my lips when a hand promptly yanked my tail and tugged me backwards a
few paces.
"Are you gonna stop being an angsty kid and answer me?" They laughed.
I turned my head, blushing angrily. "Don't pull on my tail!"
The tall, thin wolf behind me finally released my limb and strode up so we were
walking evenly with each other. "So? Have you seen Jace today?"
I flinched at the reminder. "No. I have to go see my father and then I'm going
to check on him."
"Isabelle said he was stable when I saw her."
"I would hope so. Seeing how I had a distinct lack of midnight visits saying my
brother had died."
"True." The wolf's red eyes glanced down at me; his lips twitching in a smirk.
I raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"
With a shake of his head he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets-which
were wide given the old style of it.
"You were totally about to say something, Damien." I continued, leaning over to
him with my eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Come on. Out with it."
Damien laughed again and shook his head. "Nope."
I gave him a tch before pulling back and picking up my pace. It was fairly
early so it didn't surprise me to not see anyone out and about, but what did
surprise me was the lack of noise. Even in their rooms the younger
Shadowhunters found ways to be impossibly noisy; which I still didn't
understand.
Damien followed at my side until I reached the library, where my father was
probably waiting for me. He gave me an encouraging look before he turned and
headed back the way we had come from, and I watched him go for a moment before
taking a deep breath to gather myself.
My first step into the library was unbelievably loud; and every occupant of it
turned eyes to me sharply. My brain ignored them to note a lack of certain ones
I needed to see.
"Where is Robert?" I asked loudly. I shifted my weight so both my feet were
next to each other as I glanced around the room. Hodge was not there either.
One of the younger boys bounded up the stairs and approached me. His eyes were
a stunned coal colour; his hair long and blonde around light cream fur. White
markings were framing his eyes and nose. I didn't recognize him, so I shied
away from his hand that reached toward me. He was thin- lanky- but much taller
than me and therefore he intimidated me. Tall people were always stronger than
they looked.
"Where's Hodge?" I asked.
The boy sheepishly smiled and dipped his head. His orange ears twitched
embarrassedly. "He told me to direct you to him when you got here."
"So where is he?" I repeated, narrowing my eyes.
My arm was grasped lightly and suddenly I was being forced from the room by the
tiger. He gave a quick look at the others in the room just before shutting the
doors behind us. My tail flicked with irritance. "Are you gonna tell me where
he is?"
The tiger stopped and spun me to face him. His eyes had turned oddly harsh and
I flinch away as his grip too became such. "I told you I'd take you there
didn't I?" I opened my mouth to answer but he interrupted me. "He's in the
Infirmary. He told me-" his hand tightened again when I made a move toward the
indicated place. "-to go with you in case he needed you escorted out again."
I scoffed, ears flattening. "Okay. Fine. Then lead the way, by all means."
The boy's face flashed with hurt for just a second. "I'm Jason."
"...Alec."
The corners of Jason's mouth twitched and he tipped his head slightly. "I
know."
Well, this was getting awkward quick.
"Right." He finally let go of my arm and instantly I propelled myself past him
down the hall that would lead me to the Infirmary. Jason rushed to catch up;
his slender frame made almost no noise as he touched the floor beneath him. I
was a bit surprised that I had never seen him before; at some point in time I
had had the pleasure of meeting each new Shadowhunter that was brought here. My
eyes slid over to Jason suspiciously as we walked next to each other. Come to
think of it... Maybe he did look a little familiar. Sort of like some
Downworlders.
I scoffed instantly. Tigers were common in the communities of fairies, vampires
and warlocks, but it was impossible to pretend to be a Shadowhunter. That was a
lost train of thought.
At the door to the Infirmary I turned to the taller boy and stepped close to
him. "If you're going to stand in here I suggest not speaking. Robert won't
take kindly to that."
Jason's eyes widened slightly; weather it was from my harsh tone or the words
themselves I didn't know. But he nodded and that was good enough for me.
The first thing I saw inside the room when we entered was the group of people
standing at the counter where we kept the supplies. The second thing was Jace
laying on his bed still; tail hanging seemingly lifeless off the edge of it. My
heart jumped; adrenaline coursing from the panic I felt and immediately I flew
across the room to his side. My hands lay on the edge of the bed just at his
side but I was careful not to touch him. His wound was completely bandaged and
devoid of any blood as far as I could tell so I allowed myself to let out a
deep breath before more slowly taking in his appearance.
"Alexander."
I ignored the voice of my father speaking my full name. I knew he was looking
at me with grotesque disappointment; probably under the assumption that being
gay meant I was in love with Jace. Tch. If he wanted his sons together so bad
maybe I should be.
"Alexander." My dad's tone was not leaving room for argument this time.
Reluctantly, I gazed at him, and then removed my hands from Jace's bed with one
final stroke of his hair. The flash of surprise and anger on my father's face
made me feel triumph in the far reach of my chest. Hodge was standing beside
Robert, arms behind his back casually, and as I approached he smiled ever so
slightly with that parental gleam in his eyes I had come to know meant he was
proud of my defiance. Finally I was standing up to him.
Jason hovered back at the end of Jace's bed awkwardly shifting between feet
when I finally stopped beside Robert. "When are you heading home?" I asked as
politely as I could manage.
"Once we are done here." Was the answer I received. "But I need to speak with
you before that happens."
I folded my arms stifly. "Then talk."
Robert's eyes darted to everyone else in the room slowly pausing on them before
moving on to me. He craned his neck awkwardly; swallowing in a tense manner.
"Right. Well..."
Hodge gave me a nervous look and adjusted his jacket collar with one hand. I
nodded at him in response; awkwardly waiting for my father to get to the point.
Finally Robert adjusted his jacket and cleared his throat. "Alec. Your mother
wants me to bring you back to Idris."
I blinked. My ears flicked, standing up as if I had heard him wrong. "What?"
"She thinks that being around the Clave and under their watch almost constantly
will help... Fix you."
"Fix me?" I snarled. My hands curled into fists and behind me I heard Jason
shift closer. "What is that supossed to mean?"
"Well, with your...condition..."
Hodge looked between us with wide eyes. He took a step forward to intervene but
I raised my hand in a silent signal for him to stop. I approached my father
with slow steps as I tried to bring back down my anger. Jason was close on my
heels. "My condition. Pray tell, what is wrong with me father?"
Robert narrowed his eyes at me, leaning away with a flick of his dark coloured
tail as it fluffed in a threatening gesture. "Being gay is not natural, son, I
think-"
"You think what?" I hissed. "That it's a phase or I'm just confused?"
Robert looked offended, like I was the one insulting him. "Well yes! You can't
expect me to believe that someone could actually be interested in people of the
same gender without there being something wrong with them, or just wanting
spite their parents, who's reputations would be shot if their son were found
out because of a joke-"
The room resounded with a slap so loud I thought it had to have come from
someone huge. My arm was drawn back, but it wasn't me that had moved. I looked
at the hand hovering beside where my father's face had just been; my gaze going
up the arm over my head and back to the man standing behind me. Jason's eyes
were blazing with distaste and a rough hatred that looked out of place on him.
His ears were trembling with restraint- as no doubt he hasn't used full force
on Robert just now.
"Jason!" Hodge was the one who interrupted the silence. He made a move to help
Robert stand, only to step back again when the dark furred man stood on his
own; scowling at Jason. I sidestepped in front of him the rest of the way to
block his path and he froze.
"Alexander. Move." He murmured angrily. "This kid needs to be taught a lesson."
Jason tensed behind me. I glared harder and shook my head. Robert scoffed.
"Jason was sent here to make sure I didn't get into trouble with you. He was
doing what he was told..." My eyes met Hodge's briefly. "More or less."
"Alec-"
I jabbed my elbow into Jason's stomach and he coughed but stopped speaking. My
father shifted his weight onto his back foot, as he adjusts his jacket once
more and looks me over slowly with disapproval. He opened his mouth to talk,
but a disoriented gagging caught my attention and I whirled around; my ears
standing on end. Jace was coughing and trying to wipe at his mouth; his blonde
hair flopped back and his forehead was damp with sweat. "Jace!" Hodge and I
spoke together but I moved alone to Jace's bedside. "Can you hear me?" I asked
gently, grabbing some rags and wetting them from a basin of cold water on the
bed table. I dabbed the cloth on his forehead; parting his fur around to make
sure I cleaned it good. Jace blinked wearily but finally his eyes opened and
stared at me. My heart jolted.
"Alec?"
I continued to check him over for reopened wounds as he muttered incoherent
comments about it being too hot- something about snow fairies, and then a long
rant about warlocks. Behind me I heard Hodge whispering, telling Robert to
leave me be and head on home. The harsh clicks of his dress shoes told me he
was finally doing such and immediately I sighed.
"Anything I can do?"
I looked up at the young tiger boy beside me. "I think I have it under
control." I gave him a tense smile. "Thanks."
He raised his eyebrows at me. "For what?"
"Hitting my dad." I muttered as I peeled back one of Jace's bandages. "I don't
think I would have been able to, and the conversation would have gotten worse."
Jason blushed slightly, smiling embarrassedly. "It was pissing me off. Does...
He talk to you that way a lot?"
"Unfortunately yes."
He reached up with one hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "Just... Because
you're gay?" I nodded. "But you're an incredible Shadowhunter, and excellent at
strategy, how does being gay affect that?"
"Good question." I laughed dryly. "I have no idea but apparently it does. Just
like apparently me not liking girls means he and my mom aren't allowed to love
me remotely."
Jason frowned down at me. "That's hardly fair.. You can't force yourself to be
attracted to someone."
"You'd be surprised."
"What does that mean?"
I flicked one of my ears, turning away to stare at the half audible Jace laying
in front of me. Jason didn't say anything else, so he must have understood.
Instead he circled around and took another stool to be opposite me and watched
as I went about my check up.
"I still don't think any of that is fair. It isn't their right to make rules
like that.."
I clicked my tongue and worked on re wrapping the wound in a new bandage. "They
make the rules. We are just supossed to follow them. I just follow them." Jason
tipped his head and frowned. My eyes flickered up to him and found a weird,
unreadable emotion in his own. "What?"
He shrugged nervously, and one of his ears flopped like a kitten; bringing a
snicker from my lips. He raised his eyebrows at me curiously. One of my hands
waved dismissively and Jason smirked in a very cute way that shone with child
like innocence. He wouldn't remain such for much longer. Not after his first
real mission. Not after he had to kill so many demons. A lot of the young ones
had a hard time after their first few missions. People like Jace- who were
fearless and perfect and unafraid of anything- he came back ready for more and
bouncing with excitement. Until his father had told him to not be so
floundering.
I blinked; realizing I had been staring, and forced my eyes away from the boy
across from me. Jason didn't seem to have noticed though and was observing Jace
on his own. The light coloured boy was looking much less sick although his
words were still non understandable and slurred together in sentences that made
no sense whatsoever. Jason chuckled and leaned forward onto his elbows. "So
what does it feel like?"
"Excuse me?"
One of his orange and black striped fingers gestured to his chest, but his eyes
directed to mine. I absentmindedly touched the rune under my clothes there;
which now was peeking through the low v neck of the old shirt I wore. "Oh.
The... Parabatai rune?" Jason nodded with enthusiasm. "They don't hurt if
that's what you mean."
"Yeah but I heard that the Parabatai rune connects so much that.. Like, you get
in pain when he is and stuff."
I laughed. "That sounds far too romantic."
"Isn't it." Jason sighed. He smiled dreamily like he was wrapped in his own
fantasy and I raised an eyebrow at him.
"...Someone on your mind?" I teased.
The boy flushed and shrugged. He seemed so different than he had in the
hallway- and even when he had protected me so defiantly. But the way his eyes
slipped down to look at his hand, and flickered nervously to mine on Jace's
leg, told me he was hiding something.
"Who is she?" I asked. Jace stirred again and continued murmuring to himself
nonsense about gummy bears.
Jason shrugged again. "It's a little different than that... And I don't know if
it is 'liking' so much as it is just admiration."
I patted Jace on the hip before standing and traveling across the room to look
for some new pants to put on him. "But even so. That can quick escalate." I
replied; unfolding a pair of hospital bottoms to examine. They were quickly put
back; the colour was a terrible olive green. "Who is it?" I stepped up a small
ladder that we had set nearby to reach the higher racks of supplies. Some blue
pants were up there and I started searching for a correct size for Jace.
I was about to ask another question when suddenly I felt a hand lightly on the
small of my back, and I froze. Jason's fur brushed my ear and I inhaled
sharply.
"Be careful." He murmured.
And then he was gone.
***** King of Presumptions *****
After finding a pair of pajamas for my Parabatai, I tried to get him to change
on his own, but of course the idiot wouldn't listen in his half awake mindset
and so I had to figure it out myself. He didn't make it any easier or try to
assist me at all, just sort of flailed around and murmured when I tried to
reason with him. That didn't work either.
It wasn't for a long time that I thought about Jason again. And when I did, it
was after I settled Jace in and had retreated to my room. Robert had already
left no doubt, so I was I peace for now. My recallance of the words he had said
wasn't totally sound but I remembered the way he looked around nervously and
the way he had watched me when I reached for Jace. My initial thought was that,
of course, he was probably interested in what I was doing and intrigued. I had
planned to show him some things- having assumed he must be wanting to study
medicine of some kind.
That assumption didn't last long.
I didn't expect it to. But I didn't have any other reasonable explanation.
Maybe whoever he had been talking about liked medicine and he wanted to study
briefly so he could help. The only girl right now doing much healing was
Isabelle. The thought that maybe he was attracted to her crossed my mind and I
pursed my lips slightly. Not that it was my place, but I didn't think they were
a suitable pair.
A knock interrupted my thoughts and made me flinch slightly; effectively
knocking over my book I had laid on the bed beside me. It fell to the floor
with a thud and I groaned as I reached over to grab it. "Come in."
The door opened and I saw Isabelle frowning down at me. She spotted the book
and then her expression seemed to change to understanding. Finally she stepped
in and shut the door softly. She was wearing fading pajama pants and a soft
looking blue shirt that was probably mine at one point or another. "What's up?"
I asked once I had gotten the book back and folded my legs under me. I noticed
her tail was bandaged up now, and didn't seem to be too badly injured, and a
sound of relief escaped that I hadn't known I was waiting to let out.
Isabelle sat on the edge of my bed and fidgeted for a moment. Unusual. She
never got nervous. Her ears were stiff like she was trying not to shake, her
fingers clenching each other. "Izzy?"
She turned to me carefully. "Alec, I heard about your fight with dad."
I blinked. Who had told her?
"And..?"
"I want you to tell me why you haven't said you're gay." She murmured. Her eyes
flicked up; hard and forceful but with affection behind it.
I felt my cheeks burn with shame and I looked away from her this time. She was
watching me- I could feel it- and under her stare I couldn't bring myself to
speak. The words were stuck in my throat, and I wanted to apologize for that
too, but I had no excuses. It was with a strained swallow that I finally was
able to respond with a feble 'I'm sorry'. Isabelle quirked one eyebrow
sympathetically. "I didn't want to say anything, not because of the fact that I
am, but- Jace-"
"You love him, right?"
My ears blushed instantly. Isabelle smirked at me and folded her arms. "I won't
tell don't worry. But that's why you didn't say anything. Because you aren't
supposed to have feelings for him."
Embarrassed, I ran a hand through my hair and gave a weak laugh in return.
Leave it to Izzy to see right through me. "Yes. That's exactly it."
She grinned broader and bobbed her head slightly, as if she knew what I was
thinking. She probably did. Isabelle was incredibly intuitive. "It isn't
obvious, but it does make a lot of sense now." She commented. "And I guess in a
way I can sort of see it."
"See it?" I asked, turning my head to eye her suspiciously.
"Yeah. You just sort of... Give off gay vibes."
"Gay vibes."
Isabelle nodded.
"I'm not sure if I should be offended by that or not..."
"Don't be." She replied with a wave of her hand. "It makes sense to me, I can't
really explain it."
I grinned toward her and lowered my ears, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Well that's all that matters I guess." She nodded agreement.
The next hour was spent like we used to. Before our parents were too busy,
before I had "a problem", before all these secrets. We talked and laughed and
she tickled me with the abandon of children. Not Shadowhunters. Not half
angels. Not protectors of the world. Just two kids-two teenage siblings-who
knew we were flawed, and had little assured time together.
+++++
When I woke up, Isabelle was gone and I was laid out on my bed under my covers.
The sun was trying to claw through my drapes, and with a disgruntled noise I
stood up to go and peek out to find out the time roughly.
Down below, I saw Hodge with Damien and a few other of the young Shadowhunters
in the light snow that remained from yesterday and was still falling now. Today
was when Isabelle would start 'teaching'. This must be her class, I decided as
I glanced over their weapon racks.
Damien was standing a bit apart from the group, rubbing his chin like he was
deep in thought. Except for an occasional blink I would never have guessed he
was actually conscious. A girl in the group ran over to him and gripped onto
his arm; smiling and laughing and Damien slowly came out of his daze to give
her a weak smile. They followed the others across the courtyard, but Hodge
remained where he was.
It didn't occur to me until several moments later that something was up. This
wasn't just a training day. The kids were all sporting rather large bags like
they were learning to camp. Which (while sometimes a very valuable asset for
us) didn't seem quite right to me. I narrowed my eyes; suspicion sinking in.
Hodge stayed in his spot for awhile. He almost shifted nervously, eyeing the
place for watchers. Luckily my room was hard to see from where he was.
I stepped away from the window only to begin getting dressed in my gear-
feeling like I should go down there. My vest had been laid on a chair by the
fireplace and I retrieved it with hoping steps as I tried to get my pants on
quickly.
An indistinct voice made my ears turn back to the window. It was impossible to
tell what was being said, but I could tell I didn't know it off the top of my
head. In the back of my mind I wondered if it was a Clave member- here to get
me because of something my father had told them. The thought made me squirm
uncomfortably.
I walked back to the window and looked out carefully. Hodge was standing beside
a carriage, where a figure in all black was leaned out. I could see just enough
to tell he was speaking, shaking his head animatedly with an occasional smirk.
The face was an odd yellow furred- with wide fangs and a long snout that
suggested he was a wolf. Finally Hodge shut the door and the carriage rolled
away with clicks and clanks.
The sudden realization that the man had come in a carriage of all things made
me frown. Things that didn't make since kept coming up this morning, it seemed.
+++++
With my father out of the Institute I was free to do as I wanted once again,
without worry of being summoned for a surprise meeting or a sudden insult fest.
I rolled my eyes at the thought.
I did a quick check on Jace before heading to find Jason. He was supposed to
meet me for a knife fighting lesson over an hour ago- while I was at the
Infirmary- but he had never shown up to get me. None of the other younger
Shadowhunters who were still here had seen him either so I had no leads.
Except for one.
The library door cracked loudly on it's old hinges as I pushed it open, and my
feet echoed on the ground as I stepped across the landing to the left
staircase. I made no effort to hide my presence even when I spotted Jason
sitting on his haunches under the statue of the Angel Raziel.
"Jason you're late." I snapped; trying to sound authorative since I was the
only teacher here right now. "Are you coming?"
Jason glanced over at me and smiled. "Good morning."
"That doesn't answer my question." I responded. Jason sighed, standing slowly
to his feet and coming to my side hesitantly. I eyed him obviously to let him
know I was waiting for him to get ready.
"Alec, maybe we shouldn't do lessons today."
"Don't be stupid. Lessons have only started today. Isabelle took her class to
the forest for survival lessons and I have weapons classes all day since Jace
can't teach his. I'm already behind- don't you give me that look." I added a
firm tone to the last part and Jason smirked at me with a flicker of his tail
in response.
"Fine, teacher. I'll come with you."
I gave him a tip of my chin proudly and then adjusted my shirt. "Good. To the
practice room. Now."
"Yes sir." He laughed.
+++++
The practice room was huge- made to appear more so now that most the things we
stored in here were with Isabelle and her class. I saw Jason admiring the many
cases of swords and bow staffs; even reaching out to touch a few through the
glass. His fingers were gentle on it like he thought any movement would shatter
it, and I couldn't help but watch the awe spread on his face.
"These are quite.. Beautiful weapons." He murmured.
I folded my arms behind my back and casually stood by him. "They were fashioned
from the best materials available. But no one uses them much anymore."
"A shame." Jason replied. "I would love to see them in use." He cast me a
glance and I narrowed my eyes at him in a hesitant response.
"You and Jace both." I decided to counter with, snorting as casual as I could.
The tiger flinched at the words though. "..He used to try and use them when we
would train together. I always caught him though and got him to put them away."
Jason turned and paced away from the glass with precise motions until he was
back beside me in the center of the room. "I imagine it isn't very hard for you
to persuade people to do anything, what with certain aspects of yourself."
"Um," I attempted to dispel the awkward feeling between us by looking to the
rack that held the wooden rods we fought with; picking two up and tossing one
to him. He caught it easy and spun away once more. He stopped on the edge of
the floor's intricate rune design before looking back at me with an
uncharacteristic smile. "I'm not sure what you mean by that..." I murmured as I
took my position on the side opposite him. My hands gripped the wood tightly,
twisting with anticipation and the desire to spar. It had been awhile since
Jace and I had had a chance to do such, so I was eager to get this match going.
Jason took his in both his hands and gave it a few experimental twists before
jutting it out toward me- an extension of his arm that held threats and I
shuddered at the sudden bloodlust in the boy's eyes.
"Your eyes."
"What?"
Jason tipped his head. He bent his knees into more of a fighting stance and
balanced the spear more usefully before nodding at me as if to say he was
ready. My ears laid back uncertainly but he was right. We had wasted enough
time as is; it was time to fight.
I started to step sideways- my feet stepping over each other as I traced the
circle on the floor. Jason began to mimick my movement with his eyes on mine.
He didn't waver but his ears were twitching and turning and flickering with the
anticipation I was used to seeing in younger Shadowhunters. This was his first
time fighting me, after all. And if he knew me as well as was implied
yesterday, then he must be a bit nervous to feel my gained fighting skills
actually turned on him.
He didn't seem like he would make the first attack anytime soon-probably a wise
reservation-he must be more of a defense than offense. Using this knowledge I
checked his feet for openings for a short attack. He had his spear lowered just
enough that if I moved to his knees with my foot or weapon, he could easily
knock me off balance. That was well thought out on his part. Being so tall he
knew he needed to keep his legs guarded as they were his weak point.
"Good thinking." I murmured. He raised an eyebrow but didn't speak back and we
continued circling for several more moments before I saw his stance drop
considerably from guarded to annoyed, impatient, bored.
And I took the chance.
Jason stumbled as he tried to get out of the way of my sudden jab toward him.
The end of my spear nicked his elbow and I allowed myself a grin. "You need to
watch your sides."
As the words escaped my mouth Jason growled and his tail lashed wickedly behind
him. "You shouldn't get so cocky." He gasped back. His right hand released the
end of the weapon and he used his left to twirl it once; taking three quick
steps forward to close the space between us. Unforunately for him I had a
feeling he would do that. It was easy for me to sidestep and come up beside
him, knocking his weapon with a tense press against his elbow pressure point.
Jason let out a shocked noise between a gasl and groan as his spear clattered
to the ground, and the pain showed obviously on his face as I continued to
press. A swift kick to the back of his knee sent him to the ground on the hand
I didn't have and his knees.
"Maybe you weren't made for fighting." I muttered. "That was easier than I
expected."
Jason huffed and glared up at me. "You're more used to this than me."
I nodded absentmindedly. I let go of him and let him get feeling back before
reaching down again to help him up.
"It's fine. It was your first time. I forgot that until classes start you guys
don't get any instruction or practice." Jason laughed as he took the hand.
"Yeah, I'm not as natural at it as you are."
I blinked. "I'm hardly a natural fighter."
He shrugged. As he climbed to his feet he began to dust off his pants and
sighed with another laugh. Instead of speaking I waited for him to explain,
only to receive his eyes meeting mine for a brief moment. Jason closed two
steps between us. His hand reached up and rubbed at my left ear soothingly;
eyes still watching mine with a calculation I wasn't sure I liked. But I
couldn't bring myself to look away and apparently he couldn't either because he
didn't make any indication he planned to. The smile slowly dropped from his
lips as he once again moved closer. His other hand cupped my face fluidly
underneath my hair, one finger pushing up my bangs slightly.
"Um.. Jason.."
The tiger Shadowhunter swallowed. The look in his eye changed like he was
seeing me for the first time.
"Sorry." He breathlessly answered.
I shook my head and pulled myself away from him forcefully. "It's fine. Um, I
guess I'll see you tomorrow for lessons again. If you see Camden remind him we
changed his time?" Jason nodded distractedly. "Thanks."
Jason smiled sheepishly, more like himself once again. "No problem Alec."
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