Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1210888.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager, Hange_Zoë, Petra_Ral, Erwin_Smith
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Canon_Divergence, Forced_Proximity, Sharing_a_Bed,
      Fluff_and_Smut, Friends_to_Lovers
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-02-20 Completed: 2014-03-07 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 18459
****** Keep Your Distance ******
by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles
Summary
     Levi didn't enjoy beating Eren up in the courtroom, but he did what
     was necessary to help the Survey Corps bring Eren back to HQ to train
     his titan abilities. To Levi's aggravation, neither he nor Eren seem
     capable of sleeping through a night without the other's presence.
     However, what begins as forced proximity soon develops into something
     much deeper through shared warmth and whispered conversations late
     into the night.
Notes
     Note 1: The 'underage' warning is set since Eren is technically
     underage in canon where I branch off.
     Note 2: The 'explicit' rating is set for later chapters.
     Note 3: Since SnK's author, Isayama Hajime, has requested Kodansha's
     official English translation to 'avoid gendered pronouns...or at
     least to use he and she with equal frequency' in reference to Hanji,
     I will be using 'zhe' as a gender neutral pronoun for Hanji in this
     story.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
Levi watched Eren from across the room. Eren was seated on the couch while
Hanji tended to the wounds Levi had inflicted on the boy. Eren had a few cuts
and bruises, and winced when Hanji wiped clean a particularly deep scratch, but
it looked like Eren was already beginning to heal thanks to his mysterious
titan powers. Not that it made Levi feel much better, though he didn't dwell on
the look of fury and pain Eren had given him a short time earlier in the
courtroom. Levi had done what was necessary to get Eren handed over to the
Survey Corps.
 
He watched as Hanji stood up and Erwin crossed the room to kneel in front of
Eren, offering both an apology and explanation. Levi had been planning on
remaining across the room from the kid, doubting Eren would want to be anywhere
near Levi again, but he didn't fight it when he felt an urge to move closer. As
Eren shook hands with Erwin, Levi sat heavily on the couch. There was some
space between them but Levi's arm crossed the back of the couch, his hand close
to Eren's head, and it was obvious when Eren flinched.
 
"Hey, Eren..." Levi began and waited for Eren's response before continuing. "Do
you resent me?"
 
"N-no, I understand why it was necessary." Eren looked away and held his arms
close to his chest defensively, though he didn't make an effort to move away
from Levi or his arm.
 
"That's good," Levi said simply, because that wasn't the response he had been
expecting. Hanji chided him then, saying he had gone too far and producing the
tooth Levi had knocked free. Eren's look was startled even as they spoke about
the tooth being an important sample. Levi felt the urge to speak again. "Eren,
it's still better than getting dissected by people like Hanji, right?" Why did
he want to hear Eren say that it was alright, that he forgave Levi? Why did
Levi care?
 
He ignored the fact that Eren gave him no response and the resulting twist in
his gut. Levi showed nothing on his face as he calmly leaned forward,
inspecting Eren's face along with everyone else as Hanji discovered that Eren's
tooth had already grown back. Why didn't that make Levi feel better?
 
"Just rest for now," Erwin told Eren. "We'll be staying here tonight and
heading to HQ tomorrow morning."
 
Eren leaned forward slightly, eyes wide. "Don't I have to stay in the dungeon
again?"
 
"Don't tell me you like it down there," Levi drawled, unsure of why Eren would
bring the dungeon up.
 
"Of course not," Eren said, glancing over to Levi hesitantly. "It was really
cold down there, and I missed seeing the sun. But if I'm less of a threat when
kept down there then that's where I should stay."
 
Levi was impressed. Not many were so self-sacrificing for the general wellbeing
of others. Still, he wasn't going to say anything and it was Erwin who
responded. "We want to keep you away from any potential fanatics who think they
should make a rash move before you're taken out of the city. Just stay here.
Levi will keep an eye on you."
 
Levi didn't argue; he knew this was his new responsibility. He had to nullify
any threat to or from Eren. "We'll find some food," Hanji offered, tucking
Eren's lost tooth into zher pocket and ignoring Levi's grimace. "Just relax."
 
Everyone else emptied out of the room and Levi was left alone with Eren. The
silence between them was uncomfortable, which was odd because Levi didn't
usually feel obligated to start a conversation. He didn't know what to say
though, and certainly wasn't going to ask blatantly for forgiveness for hurting
Eren when his actions were already justified. Levi just remained silent and
watched Eren out of the corner of his eye as the boy hugged himself defensively
and his eyes drooped with exhaustion.
 
After only a few minutes Eren's eyes slid closed fully and his head tilted back
as Eren began to drift off to sleep. The moment that the back of Eren's head
nudged against Levi's inner arm, Levi felt his heart skip as though he had been
given an electric shock. He pulled his arm away immediately but that just
jostled Eren and caused him to slide sideways until he was sprawled across the
length of the couch, his head resting on Levi's thigh.
 
This had to be bad for his health somehow, judging by the frantic stutter of
Levi's heart in his chest. He was about to shove Eren away and stand up when
the door opened and Hanji stepped in, holding a tray of food and looking them
over. "Oh good, he's asleep," Hanji whispered when zhe noticed that Eren was
dead to the world. "I was so worried he wouldn't get a chance to rest."
 
"I'm moving him," Levi bit out. He refused to confess to the racing of his
heart, or show how flustered he felt, but that didn't mean he was going to put
up with this. "I'm not a fucking pillow."
 
"No!" Hanji hissed. "Just leave him. We need him healthy."
 
"You be the pillow then!" Levi hissed back. Why was he actively talking quietly
when he shouldn't give a shit if the kid got any sleep or not?
 
"Jostling him will just wake him up," Hanji reasoned. "And clearly he feels
safe with you."
 
Levi looked down at Eren then, studying his sleeping face. It was obvious that
he looked relaxed and at peace, but Levi didn't understand it. How could Eren
feel safe curled up next to him when Levi had just beaten the living shit out
of him? Regardless, this argument was getting him nowhere and if he put up more
of a fuss it might become obvious how uncomfortable he really was. He didn't
need Hanji realizing that Levi was feeling out-of-sorts and deciding it needed
further study.
 
"Fine."
 
Hanji's grin was blinding. Zhe handed him a sandwich from the tray and took
another one zherself as zhe grabbed a chair from across the room and moved it
closer to sit in front of the couch. For the most part Hanji talked to
zherself, working through the hypotheses zhe wanted to test once they got Eren
to HQ. Levi listened and purposefully didn't acknowledge the flare
of...something in his chest when he watched Hanji ruffle Eren's hair as he
slept on.
 
"He certainly sleeps deeply," Hanji mused quietly.
 
"And you wouldn't let me move him," Levi pointed out coolly.
 
Hanji chuckled quietly. "I was wrong about him waking up. You can probably move
now if you really want."
 
Levi pursed his lips and looked away to the window. "Whatever. I have to stay
here anyway and the couch is comfiest. What?" he asked when he noticed Hanji
studying him.
 
"Nothing," zhe said, though Levi knew it was a lie. He had seen the look in
zher eyes enough times to know when zhe had thought of a new hypothesis to
test. Still, he was relieved when Hanji said nothing else on the matter. The
silence spanned out between them but this time it felt comfortable and Levi was
content to just lean back against the couch and occasionally watch Eren or the
city beyond the window.
 
After a while Hanji bid zher farewell after grabbing a book for Levi to read at
his request. Hanji left the final sandwich on the tray for when Eren woke up
and told Levi that there was a guard posted outside in case they needed
anything. Hanji promised to be back at midnight for the night watch and then
slipped out of the room, leaving Levi alone with Eren again.
 
When he was certain they were alone Levi lightly brushed Eren's hair from his
eyes. This left the fading bruises from Levi's attack more visible and Levi
traced them with needling discomfort. It had been necessary, but not something
Levi had enjoyed doing. Eventually Levi pulled his hand away and focused fully
on the book Hanji had brought him, letting the hours slip away as Eren
continued to sleep contently against his thigh.
 
Late into the evening, about an hour before Hanji would arrive for zher watch
duty, Levi finally had to stand from the couch to go to the bathroom and
stretch out his stiff body. He moved Eren as gently as he could but the kid's
eyes still blinked open to stare at him blurrily as Levi stood up. "What time
is it?" Eren mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.
 
"Late," Levi said. "There's a sandwich over there if you want."
 
Eren rolled over to look at the sandwich on the tray and then groaned as he
slowly stood up. Levi couldn't tell how much was tiredness and how much was
lingering pain from Levi's most brutal kicks, and although he thought about it,
he didn't offer a helping hand. "The bathroom would be a good start," Eren
admitted, stretching languidly.
 
Without a word Levi nodded and headed to the door, allowing Eren to follow at
his side. They took turns and then headed back to the room, Eren munching on
the sandwich while Levi walked around the room a few times to stretch his
muscles before returning to the couch. Although he would technically be able to
go find a bed once Hanji arrived for zher shift, Levi had already decided he
would spend the night on the couch. Between having minimal security on Eren
outside of the dungeon and the high tensions in the city, he wanted to be close
at hand.
 
"Hey, Captain?" Eren spoke hesitantly, perhaps worried about angering Levi as
he leaned back against the couch with his eyes closed. Levi grunted to indicate
that he should continue. "Thank you."
 
This time Levi's eyes flashed open as he regarded Eren in the near-darkness.
"For what? Don't tell me you're a masochist, kid. I don't want to hear that
shit."
 
"I didn't enjoy it," Eren countered. "But what you did in the courtroom saved
my life. And it's not like I imagined it happening this way, but it helped me
get into the Survey Corps to fight back against the titans. So yeah...thanks."
 
Levi said nothing; he would never be glad that he did what he did. There were
many things he wished he never would've been forced to do, but in times of war
certain actions were sometimes unavoidable. He ignored Eren and rested his head
back against the couch, wishing that Hanji would arrive early. Levi was
exhausted and knew they had a long ride to the old castle tomorrow. Thankfully
Eren seemed to realize that it was the time to be quiet and said nothing as he
finished his food.
 
Hanji popped zher head in when zhe arrived, greeting them both with hushed
tones and a warm smile. "You can sleep now if you want, Levi," Hanji told him
as zhe sat at the table in the corner with Eren. "I have a few questions for
our new friend since he still looks somewhat awake." Levi watched Eren nod in
agreement and shrugged, not interested in arguing the matter if it meant he
could finally rest. He leaned back against the couch again and closed his eyes,
listening to the quiet drone of the two chatting until the voices faded fully
from his consciousness.
 
#
 
Levi blinked his eyes open slowly and felt his mood immediately plummet. "Why
are you watching me sleep?" he grumbled at Hanji who was practically leaning
over the couch staring at him. "And why are you so close?" he could practically
feel zher breath ruffling his hair.
 
Hanji's eyes were wide as though zhe had discovered a new species. "I've never
seen you like this before," zhe hummed.
 
"Like what?" Levi frowned. More than once the Survey Corps had camped outside
together on an expedition, everyone sleeping close together around a fire.
There was no way Hanji had never seen him sleeping before, and it certainly
didn't warrant zher standing this close.
 
He pushed Hanji back slightly but zhe were already grinning. "You have a
friend," zhe informed him proudly before zher eyes darted down. Levi glanced
down as well and only then realized why he felt so warm despite not having any
blankets on. While he had slouched against the corner of the couch, Eren had
taken up the rest of the couch and his head was again resting on Levi's thigh.
 
How did this happen? Why had it happened? Levi was already asleep by the time
Eren must have gone to sleep, and sharing the couch was one thing. But curling
up the way he was? What had possessed him? Did he fall into this position or
had he chosen it? Before Levi's heart could begin that stupid fluttering again
Levi stood up quickly and deposited Eren on the hardwood floor with a thump and
a following groan.
 
"What was that for?" Eren rolled over and rubbed the back of his head, blinking
up at both of them.
 
"For snuggling up with a stranger who just beat the crap out of you," Levi
snapped, unable to explain why he was quite so agitated. "Make better life
choices, Jaeger," he ordered and then left the room swiftly, leaving Hanji to
deal with the kid.
 
#
 
It wasn't until they were getting ready to depart that Levi saw Eren again. He
had spent the morning grabbing a quick plate of food and then talking to his
new Special Operations Squad consisting of Erd, Petra, Auruo and Gunter. Levi
had taken a lot of time carefully selecting all of them to take part in helping
him protect Eren from any titan once they went beyond the wall. He had worked
with all four of them before and knew they were skilled both individually and
together, and hoped that their team of five would be a successful one.
 
They gathered outside by the stables along with Erwin and the other Survey
Corps members that would accompany them to HQ. Levi took a few seconds to
briefly introduce Eren to his squad and vice versa before walking his horse
over to Erwin to confirm a few details they had discussed before Eren had been
relinquished to their protection.
 
Finally the all-clear was shouted and everyone began to lead their horses
through the cobblestone streets towards the main road that would take them out
of the city. Levi held back as Erwin led and looked around to find his squad
surrounding a horse with no rider. Levi pulled himself up into his horse's
saddle quickly and trotted over, somehow not surprised when he saw that Eren
was the only one who wasn't yet on his horse.
 
"Problem?" Levi raised an eyebrow.
 
Eren saw him and wilted. "Sorry, sir. I've just never been that good at getting
on a horse. It's hard to get up into the saddle when the horse is so tall."
 
Levi blinked once, twice, and then slid from his saddle. Erd, Petra, Auruo and
Gunter were all around them on their horses, watching but remaining silent.
Levi stood right in front of Eren, who had a good three inches on his height.
"You're telling me that if we were beyond the walls, all of us would be dead
right now because you can't get on a horse?" Eren blushed and opened his mouth
but Levi wasn't in the mood to listen to more babbling. "Jaeger, get on that
fucking horse."
 
Eren's mouth snapped closed and Levi stepped aside as Eren approached the
horse. He was glad to see at least a look of determination on Eren's face; he
knew Eren was someone who would work incessantly to improve upon his flaws, and
that was the sort of person they needed on their side. Levi wasn't angry per
se, but he was concerned. He wouldn't allow an oversight that could get any
member of his squad hurt or killed, and that included an incompetency within
his group. So he made a mental note to work with Eren on his horse-riding
skills once they reached HQ but for now left Eren to squirm under their
expectant gazes.
 
Eren got his foot hooked into the stirrup and Levi was about to walk back to
his own horse, assuming Eren was fine, but then Eren lost his balance and fell
backwards. He fell against Levi who caught him – barely – and kept Eren from
smacking his head on the cobblestone. Levi managed to hold Eren up until Eren
finally got his foot free of the stirrup and they both regained their balance.
By now Eren's face was bright red and Levi pushed him away before his own face
could be similarly embarrassing.
 
Before Levi or anyone else got a chance to say anything, Eren moved back to the
horse, intent on trying again. Without saying anything, Levi hovered behind
him. Despite wanting to make his first point that they were only as strong as
their weakest member, there was another point that was more important to make:
they were a team. They would work together and never leave a member behind.
Eren got his foot in the stirrup and this time Levi offered a steadying hand as
Eren pulled himself up into the saddle.
 
As soon as he was certain that Eren was settled Levi walked back to his own
horse and pulled himself up swiftly. He could feel everyone's gaze on him,
Eren's the heaviest, but he looked ahead towards the road that was already
empty; they had some catching up to do. "Time to go," he called back to his
squad and pushed his horse into a canter, following the path he had already
discussed with Erwin that morning. Once they caught up with the group Levi fell
behind, watching the back of the group. Eren glanced back at him more than once
but the squad kept him occupied with chatter and Levi could keep his distance.
 
The ride to the old castle was a long one and they didn't arrive until the
afternoon with the sun high in the sky. Everyone dismounted and got the horses
organized in the stables before heading towards the supply carts; it would take
the rest of the day just to unpack and store everything, let alone clean the
castle to make it suitable for living in. Levi sent the rest of his squad ahead
but remained in the stables, taking extra time to untack his horse.
 
Once he had the stables to himself Levi leaned back against the wall and
breathed deeply for a few minutes. He didn't understand why he was reacting so
strongly to Eren's presence and touch but he didn't like it. The way his heart
skipped beats and his thoughts got muddled was distracting and could be
dangerous if they were beyond the wall. He just had to maintain control and
avoid any unnecessary contact with Eren, which sounded stupid since he was just
some bratty kid, but Levi wouldn't allow any weakness.
 
"Captain?" a voice that was already becoming familiar called to him from a
short distance away. Levi refused to hide so he popped his head out and looked
down the aisle. Eren spotted him and gave a hesitant smile as he jogged closer.
Levi crossed his arms and remained where he was, keeping his distance as Eren
stopped in front of him and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Captain,
about earlier—"
 
"I don't want you to apologize," Levi cut him off. "And I don't want you to say
'thank you' either." Eren's eyebrows furrowed with confusion and he shifted his
weight from one foot to the other, looking uncertain. Levi elaborated. "We all
have weaknesses we must overcome. As long as you're willing to put in that
effort to keep you and your team safe, you don't need to apologize. As for when
I helped you, I want you to realize that we're a team; we all rely on each
other. Just don't fuck it up."
 
The tips of Eren's ears were pink but he was grinning. "Yes, sir. Thank you."
 
"I told you not to thank me," Levi walked past him, ensuring at there was no
physical contact between them. "Today you're helping to clean and restock the
castle. Tomorrow we're going to practice mounting a horse until you can do it
in your sleep." Before he heard any response from Eren, Levi exited the stables
and headed into the castle.
 
#
 
Levi was cleaning one of the rooms on the second floor of the castle alongside
Petra when Eren stepped into the room, pulling a handkerchief down from his
mouth. "We're done cleaning the upper floors," Eren informed him, stepping
closer as Levi turned away from the window. "Where will I get to sleep in the
building, sir?"
 
Levi pulled down his own handkerchief, freeing his mouth to speak. "Your room
is in the basement."
 
He noticed Eren's face falling slightly. "In the basement again, sir?"
 
"Of course. You're not in complete control of yourself yet," Levi turned to
face Eren fully and stepped closer."If you drifted off and turned into a titan,
at least if you're underground we can restrain you right away. That was one of
the conditions agreed upon for us to get custody of you. It's a rule that we
must follow." Eren's green eyes widened slightly but he didn't argue. There was
nothing Levi could say to make it better; it was an unfortunate situation but
not one they could change. The silence was awkward, especially with Petra
listening in, so Levi decided it was time to leave."I'll take a look around the
rooms. You do this room, Eren."
 
"Yes, sir," Eren said as he watched Levi pass.
 
Levi was intent on getting as far away as possible. When he agreed to be
responsible for Eren he hadn't expected to see the kid quite this much, nor had
he expected Eren's presence to leave him uncomfortable. He was halfway around
the corner when Petra's voice caught his attention, and Levi's steps slowed to
a stop as he listened in."You've got quite a despairing look on your face,
Eren." Why did Eren have a despairing look?
 
"I do?"
 
"Ah, I'll be calling you Eren. Captain Levi does the same. Here, his word is
the law."
 
"Right, I don't mind that, but did I really have a despairing look on my face?"
 
"It's not surprising at all. He doesn't come across as the perfect,
invulnerable hero people think he is, does he? The true Levi is surprisingly
short, irritable, violent, and hard to approach."
 
Levi told himself to leave then. He had been pleased to hear that Eren didn't
mind that Levi called him just by his first name, but he didn't want to hear
people talk about him like this. He heard it enough already; he knew how people
saw him. It made it easier to stay detached and get his job done, but people's
perceptions still weren't enjoyable to hear. But Eren spoke again and somehow
managed to keep Levi hidden in place. "That's not it..."
 
He continued to listen as Petra told Eren a tiny bit about Levi's past, trying
to understand why he didn't mind Eren hearing this. However, finally he stepped
back into the room to break up the conversation. "Hey, Eren!"
 
"Yes, sir?"Eren tensed immediately, standing tall and stiff at attention while
Petra looked away and tried to sweep inconspicuously.
 
"It's not good at all. Redo it all from scratch," Levi ordered, face hardened
to ensure they couldn't read any emotion on his face. Eren raced out
immediately and Levi shooed Petra out shortly after, breathing a sigh of relief
when he finally had the room to himself to clean. He just needed to be alone
for a while, and away from the boy that flustered him without even realizing
what he was doing.
 
#
 
In the evening after dinner Levi led Eren down the staircase to the basement.
The food storage and common areas for eating and relaxing were on the main
floor, with Eren sleeping in the basement and everyone else sleeping on the
upper floors. Levi pushed open a heavy wooden door at the bottom of the stairs
and led Eren into a large room. There was a wide bed set up in the corner, a
mostly-empty bookshelf, a table with three chairs, and a few lanterns strewn
about.
 
“Home sweet home,” Eren chuckled tiredly, moving further into the room to set
his armful of blankets on the table. A plume of dust burst into the air and
Eren coughed, which turned into a chuckle a moment later. “Ah well, at least
this place isn’t damp like the dungeons back in the city.”
 
Levi pulled his handkerchief back up to cover his mouth as the dust slowly
settled. He wielded a duster and broom in one hand and a bucket of water and a
sponge in the other. “We’ll get it clean,” he said, and set the bucket down.
Levi proceeded to knock the dust from every surface and then sweep it up on the
floor while Eren worked on scrubbing away any creeping mould or dirt. The
mattress on the bed smelled a bit musty but seemed dry and clean.
 
After about an hour they were both done and Eren grabbed the handful of
blankets to begin making the bed. Levi was about to say goodnight when Eren
called after him, catching his attention. “Where will you be sleeping, sir?”
 
Why was Levi’s stomach twisting into knots? “Did you notice that door halfway
down the last flight of stairs?” Eren nodded. “That’s where I’ll be staying. I
wouldn’t be any use watching over you if I’m halfway across the castle.”
 
“So you’re stuck down here too, eh?” Eren gave him a slight grimace.
 
Levi shrugged lightly. “I don’t care as long as it’s quiet and I can sleep.
Speaking of, I’m going to finish cleaning my own room and pass out.”
 
“Goodnight, Captain. It’ll be nice knowing someone is nearby,” Eren smiled at
him until Levi exited and pulled the door closed behind him.
 
#
 
“What’s the matter, Eren? Decide you didn’t care enough to practice riding a
horse?” Levi kicked Eren’s boot when he saw that Eren was seated against the
stable doors with his eyes closed rather than tacking up his horse as ordered.
 
“No, sir!” Eren jolted awake and stood in a rush, rubbing the sleep from his
eyes. “I’m sorry, sir. I just didn’t sleep well last night. At all, actually.”
 
Levi walked past him into the stall for Eren’s horse, noting that Eren had
actually tacked his horse; he just hadn’t begun to practice. “Room not good
enough for you?” Levi snipped as he led Eren’s horse out into the large aisle
of the stable.
 
“It’s not that,” Eren yawned widely as he walked to stand beside Levi and
stretched. “Normally I can sleep anywhere. But last night I just lay there all
night staring at the ceiling. I don’t know, maybe it was too cold or
something.”
 
Levi grunted noncommittally. “Well I didn’t sleep either so let’s just get this
over with. Get on the horse.” Eren rubbed at his eyes one last time and then
shook his tiredness off, looking more awake as he slipped his foot into the
stirrup. Once again Eren nearly landed on his head but this time Levi was
prepared, his arms out to steady Eren until he regained his balance. Like
yesterday Levi offered a hand for added support when Eren pulled himself into
the saddle again. He barely gave Eren time to grin down at him proudly from the
saddle before Levi ordered, “Okay, now off.”Eren didn’t argue as he removed
himself from the saddle and returned to standing beside Levi. Eren was still
grinning and Levi watched him coolly. “Back up.”
 
They repeated the process ten times with Eren getting in and out of the saddle
with Levi’s hand for support. Then Levi held his hands behind his back, making
it clear that Eren was on his own. Eren bit his lip and took his time getting
his foot in the stirrup. Levi was preparing to catch him again but was
pleasantly surprised when Eren slowly but steadily hoisted himself up into the
saddle. This time when Eren beamed at him Levi was willing to offer a nod of
approval.
 
Levi continued to have Eren get in and out of the saddle until Eren's movements
were fluid and confident. Then, before Eren pulled himself up again, Levi
nudged him around to the other side of the horse. Finally Eren groaned and
leaned against the horse, his body sagging. "Why do I need to practice this
side too?"
 
"Are you going to tell me that if there was a titan on the right side of your
horse, you would put yourself directly in danger just because you only bothered
practicing to mount on one side?" Levi drawled.
 
Eren blushed and groaned again, but gave no other complaint. Eren was even
wobblier getting up on the left side of the horse but Levi was there, nudging
him up the first few times until Eren's muscle memory began to kick in. By the
time Levi was satisfied it had been about an hour, and Levi looked down the
aisle to where he knew his horse was being kept. "How's your riding? Can you
launch your Manoeuvre Gear from a horse?"
 
"My riding is good," Eren said, "But I've never had to launch from a horse
before."
 
Levi could feel exhaustion tugging at his limbs but it was easier to ignore
when he was out here in the sun, focusing on getting Eren in shape. "Go get us
some canisters for our gear while I tack my horse," Levi ordered. By the time
Eren returned Levi had both horses out in the courtyard and ready. They
strapped up and pulled themselves into the saddles before heading out through
the front gate towards the forest.
 
For the first launch Levi had them stop a short distance into the forest, their
horses munching on the grass as Levi offered some tips. Although the majority
of working with Manoeuvre Gear relied on intuition, there were still a few
things he had learned over the years that could help. When Eren was ready Levi
sent him up into the trees, and unlike when Eren had been getting in and out of
the saddle like a shaky newborn, this came naturally to him.
 
While practice could never hurt, Levi was willing to admit – if only to himself
– that he had Eren out in the forest practicing for so long at least partially
just to watch him. He found it relieving to watch Eren fly through the branches
and noticeably improve even in the time they were out there. Levi had been
sceptical at first when people called Eren humanity's new hope, and it was true
that Eren still had a long way to go both with his human and titan abilities.
But as Levi watched Eren, he felt a slow-burning desire to see this kid survive
and grow up, for all of them to finally find an end to this war and suffering.
 
After another hour of practice for Eren to launch from a horse, both at a
standstill and in motion, Levi finally called Eren in and together they headed
back to the castle for a late lunch. They untacked their horses together and
then Levi ordered Eren to more cleaning and a nap in the afternoon, worried
that neither of them would perform well if they didn't get some sleep. Levi
spent some time with Erwin and then fell into his own bed, intent on getting
some sleep before dinner.
 
Except that sleep never came for him. Levi curled up in his blankets for a long
time staring up at the ceiling, trying to shut his brain off. Many times his
thoughts returned to Eren, or his squad or the situation of the walls and the
titans beyond them. But even when his mind was completely blank, his eyes
stinging with tiredness, he couldn't drift away.
 
Eventually Levi gave up and headed upstairs. Maybe Eren's guess had been right;
it was a little chilly down in the basement. He found a crate filled with extra
blankets and grabbed two at first, paused, and then returned to grab two more.
Levi dumped two of them at the foot of his bed and then continued further down
the stairs to step into Eren's room. He was a little startled to find Eren
curled up in bed but didn't show a reaction as Eren glanced over at him and sat
up in bed. "Captain? Is everything okay?"
 
"Everything's fine," Levi stepped closer and dropped the blankets on Eren's
covered legs. "Go back to sleep."
 
Eren snorted and then sighed as he flopped back against the pillows. "I wish."
 
Levi hesitated for a second before he headed for the door and closed it behind
him. He bypassed his own bedroom in search of Hanji, who he found in the back
courtyard setting up an area for the two titans they had captured that would be
brought to HQ within the week. "Hanji, a word?" he called across the courtyard
to catch zher attention.
 
Zhe jogged over, energetic as always, and matched Levi's pace as he walked
towards the outer castle wall where they wouldn't be overheard. "What's on your
mind?" Hanji prompted him when Levi leaned against the wall but said nothing.
 
Levi briefly considered changing his mind and simply walking away; just by
bringing this up he was admitting that he had been thinking about it. But
still, while he didn't necessarily trust Hanji to not turn everything into an
experiment, he did trust zher belief in confidentiality. "Back in the city, how
did Eren end up sleeping on me?" Both of zher eyebrows shot into zher hairline
and Levi immediately regretted asking the question.
 
He worried zhe would ask about his motivations, but instead zhe just tapped a
finger against zher lips and then smiled. "Well, when we were done talking Eren
went over to the couch to sleep. I don't think he accidentally fell with his
head on your thigh, if that's what you're asking." Zhe leaned in closer. "Is
that what you're asking?"
 
"I don't understand why he would curl up that close," Levi admitted, feeling
distinctly uncomfortable.
 
"I already told you," Hanji nudged his shoulder. "He feels safe with you. After
you fell asleep he was telling me how, a few years ago, he would stand in the
streets and watch you pass by with the Survey Corps. He admires you."
 
"Great," Levi sighed. "His childhood hero beat the shit out of him."
 
"He obviously doesn't hold it against you," Hanji shot back quickly. "He knows
you will do what's necessary to keep everyone safe. It's probably why he trusts
you. You'll keep him safe but you'll also protect everyone else from him if he
ever loses control."
 
"How do you know all this?" Levi studied zher.
 
"Eren and I had a good chat," Hanji said, studying him in return. "What I'm
wondering is why you're asking."
 
Levi crossed his arms and looked away. Hanji didn't push him to answer, which
he was grateful for. But as uncomfortable as he was bringing this up, he also
hoped that Hanji might have an answer for him. "I slept so well on that couch,
and Eren seemed to as well," Levi forced himself to speak. "And since then
sleep has eluded us both. It's probably nothing, but we both need sleep."
 
Hanji shrugged. "Then sleep with him again."
 
To Levi's horror he felt his cheeks warm. "I'm not going to sleep with him!"
 
"You know what I mean," Hanji rolled zher eyes. "I'm not sure why you're so
defensive all of a sudden. I've never seen you this riled up before. Are you
sure there isn't something else you want to talk about?" Levi had already
turned on his heel and was beginning to walk back across the courtyard. Hanji's
voice followed him. "It can't hurt to try!"
 
How foolish zhe was, despite being so intelligent. Levi was already teetering
on the edge of something he didn't understand, that had him uncertain for the
first time since a long time before he joined the Survey Corps. It all revolved
around Eren and Levi could think of nothing worse for their entire team than
him giving in to this mysterious temptation. So he would fight it, and continue
on as normal.
***** Chapter 2 *****
The next morning came both too fast and too slow. Levi desperately didn't want
it to be morning because that meant that he had another full day to go through
before he could try to sleep again, and yet the night had felt endless as he
tossed and turned under his extra blankets. He was warm and cozy but that
hadn't meant his body would sleep properly.
 
And it was obvious as soon as he saw Eren at breakfast that the kid hadn't
slept a wink either during the night. There were dark rings under his eyes as
his eyelids drooped, Eren mechanically taking bites of his bread in a similar
fashion to how Levi was eating across the table. More than once their eyes met
but they didn't need to say anything; it was mutual suffering.
 
They were supposed to head out beyond the castle walls that day to try to test
Eren's ability to shift into a titan by putting him in a well that would
contain him. However, as soon as Hanji entered the room zher eyes flicked from
Levi to Eren and back and zhe shook zher head. "There's no way we're doing
these tests when you're both sleep deprived," zhe argued even when both of them
tried to brush zher off. "Remember how poorly Eren controlled his titan in
Trost when he was exhausted and sick? Not to mention the fact that you'll be no
good to anyone when you're this out of it, Levi."
 
Levi didn't enjoy getting reprimanded by anyone but he knew Hanji was making a
good argument. Nonetheless, he was still frustrated and was finding it more of
a challenge to keep himself in check. They didn't have long before the new
trainees would be arriving, and only a short time after that before they would
be going beyond the wall on their next expedition. Levi knew that both he and
Eren needed to start sleeping soon, and couldn't understand why this was
suddenly such a big issue.
 
To ensure that the whole day didn't go to waste Levi took Eren and his squad
into the forest to stretch their muscles and practice some more complex
manoeuvre drills. In a way it was good since Levi knew for a fact that he
wouldn't always be in peak condition when he had to move and fight. This was
good for remembering how to harness his adrenaline and push through any
tiredness to get done what was necessary, and to keep his squad's safety as a
top priority.
 
In the late afternoon they headed back into the castle and Levi disappeared to
his room to read. He would've preferred to be out doing something productive,
even helping Hanji set up for the captured titans, but he could feel his body
shaking just from his day out in the forest using his Gear. Until he managed to
sleep properly, Levi had to preserve his energy.
 
He hoped dinner would be a quiet affair and that he might finally manage to get
some sleep afterwards. Conversation was minimal and quiet, the rest of Levi's
squad observant enough to tell that he wasn't in his right state of mind. Levi
was grateful for the quiet since it didn't make his headache any worse as he
forced food down his throat, watching Eren tiredly from across the table as the
kid picked at his own dinner.
 
Levi was jolted into full consciousness by the sound of the door slamming open
as Hanji announced zher arrival. Under normal circumstances Levi would've been
happy for Hanji as zhe excitedly told everyone that zher titans had just been
delivered since it was safer to move them after sundown. That night, however,
Levi only stared blankly as zhe rambled on about the various experiments zhe
was going to begin first thing in the morning.
 
Despite the fact that Levi knew Eren was probably as tired as he was, Eren was
the only one to speak up, mentioning that he would be interested in learning
more about Hanji's experiments in preparation for helping zher however he
could. That was fine; Levi didn't mind. But then Hanji reached over and held
Eren's hand with zher own as zhe beamed down at him and Levi's attention turned
into a pinprick as he stared at their clasped hands.
 
Eren was blushing and Levi gritted his teeth. He couldn't stop staring. What
the fuck was wrong with him? Before he could say or do anything rash, Levi
forced himself to stand and head for the door silently. The rest of his squad
followed, likely glad for the excuse to follow him instead of listening to
Hanji get on one of zher tangents, but Levi paid them little mind.
 
This had gotten out of hand. Levi's lack of sleep was affecting his health, his
abilities, and now his self-control as well. He wasn't thinking straight and
certainly wasn't feeling calm or normal. Since when did he get jealous of
people, especially for holding the hand of a boy that Levi shouldn't even care
about beyond his responsibility to make sure Eren didn't end up killing himself
or humanity?
 
Hanji had told him that it couldn't hurt to try. Maybe zhe was right. So Levi
changed into his sleeping pants and shirt, grabbed his book, and then headed
further down the stairs into Eren's room. It was empty, of course; Eren
currently held captive by Hanji at the dinner table. Levi didn't know why he
was even considering this, or why he was quite this nervous. But the worst that
could happen would be that he embarrassed himself and had to find another way
to deal with this issue. At best he would finally get a good night of sleep.
 
Levi sat on Eren's bed and glanced at the door before opening up his book to
read. Now all he had to do was wait.
 
#
 
It was a good two hours later when Levi heard footsteps on the stairs. Levi was
still turning the pages of his book mechanically but probably couldn’t recite
any details of the last two chapters he had skimmed through. He looked up as
Eren opened and closed his door, watching as Eren froze when their eyes met
across the room. “C-Captain, is something wrong?”
 
“Must there always be something wrong for me to be in your room?” Levi
wondered, resting his head against the wall.
 
“N-no, sir,” Eren rushed to say. “But I figured you wouldn’t be bothered
visiting me unless there was something urgent or wrong.”
 
“Well if you think about it, this is both urgent and wrong. Neither of us have
slept for days and frankly I’m fed up with feeling this shitty,” Levi said,
willing to admit his own discomfort when he knew Eren shared it. “Hanji
suggested that since we slept so well a few nights ago in the city we try that
again.”
 
“Try…what again, sir?” Eren fidgeted.
 
“You slept close to me and we both slept well that night,” Levi struggled to
keep his voice even. “As Hanji told me, and as I discovered when I woke up the
next morning. I don’t know why it would make a difference but between you and
me I’m desperate enough to try so hurry the fuck up and change so we can
sleep.”
 
“Yes, sir!” Eren was halfway to a salute before he realized the situation and
instead blushed before rushing over to one of the chairs by the table where
Levi could see a pair of loose pants and a shirt in a heap. Eren already had
his shirt over his head, his bare back exposed, before Levi remembered to avert
his eyes. First he was considering sharing a bed with Eren and now he was eying
him up? Levi put a hand to his forehead; he must be sick.
 
Levi busied himself with setting aside his book and slipping under the covers,
soothed by the immediate heat of the extra blankets cocooning him. Once Eren
was changed he moved around the room blowing out the lanterns, and Levi
purposefully didn’t allow his gaze to linger on the strip of skin where Eren’s
pants hung a little low on his hips. Finally when only the last lantern by the
bed remained, Eren hesitantly approached the bed.
 
“Do you want me to sleep on top of the covers?” Eren asked.
 
“Freezing defeats the purpose of this experiment,” Levi snapped. “Just get in
bed already.” As ordered Eren slid under the covers. Their eyes met and held
for a tense second and then Eren rolled over to blow out the final lantern,
blanketing them in darkness. Left only with his hearing, Levi listened as Eren
resettled under the covers and rolled around trying to find a comfortable spot.
“Eren, just be still,” Levi hissed quietly.
 
“Sorry,” Eren whispered back. Why were they whispering? “I’ve never shared a
bed with someone before.”
 
Levi had shared beds before, but not for sleeping. “Nervous?” he teased to hide
his own embarrassment.
 
“Yeah.”
 
Levi was surprised and oddly touched by Eren’s honesty. “Why?” Levi continued
to whisper. “It’s just me.”
 
“Just you,” Eren repeated and then chuckled. Levi felt the mattress dip under
Eren’s weight as the kid rolled onto his side to face Levi in the darkness. “Do
you even know who you are to people?”
 
“A cold, unfeeling bastard,” Levi echoed the words he had heard so many times
before.
 
Eren surprised him again. “No, not that. People who think that of you clearly
don’t know you.” The mattress shifted again and although Levi couldn’t make out
any details in the darkness, he could imagine Eren looking over at him. “You’re
the Captain of the Survey Corps, the bravest group of soldiers there are.
You’re a fucking wonder in terms of your abilities and yet I’ve never known
someone to care more deeply for his team members.”
 
Levi couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this warm or… content. In the
darkness it took him an extra moment to notice that he was smiling softly. He
didn’t know what to say though, and hated this affection blooming in his chest
that he couldn’t control. “Shut the fuck up, Eren.”
 
Eren didn’t sound hurt. “Are you telling me I’m wrong?”
 
“No.” Levi rolled away to face the wall. “I’m telling you I’m tired and I want
to fucking sleep.”
 
There was a pregnant silence between them and then the sheets rustled as Eren
lay back down and got comfortable. “Sleep would be nice,” Eren said wistfully.
Levi couldn’t agree more, and to his relief he already felt his mind and body
shutting down as his eyes drooped closed.
 
#
 
Waking up was a pleasant affair. As soon as Levi’s eyes drifted open he could
tell that he had been sleeping for a long time. His body was stiff from lack of
movement but felt wonderful as soon as Levi stretched under the warm blankets.
His joints were no longer tired and his mind felt rejuvenated as he thought
about the previous night, and about Eren’s words. Levi liked the way it made
him feel, even though it also made him nervous about disappointing Eren.
 
It was still mostly dark in the room since there were no windows, but there was
a small sliver of light that snuck under the door from the hallway beyond. Levi
could still hear the even in and out of Eren breathing in his sleep, and he was
glad to know that they had both slept through the night. Of course, Levi’s calm
relief only lasted until he realized that he felt so warm because Eren was
curled up beside him. It wasn’t like Eren was sleeping on top of him, but his
face was definitely tucked against Levi’s shoulder and his knees were nudging
Levi’s leg.
 
Levi stared at the darkened ceiling, his heart picking up its pace. What was he
doing? He was lying in bed with a boy over ten years his junior who could
potentially turn into a titan and kill him – or be killed – at any time. Levi
should never have let himself get into this situation, and yet now that he was
here curled up in bed with Eren he felt no desire to leave. His heart was
racing and the warmth in his chest from Eren’s words still remained and for the
first time Levi was willing to admit it: he wanted more.
 
Not that he would give in to that desire and push the boundaries further but he
was finally ready to acknowledge his own desires. He liked having Eren trust
him and feel safe with him, to sleep better with Levi beside him than in an
empty bed alone. He liked that Eren didn’t take Levi’s harsh words the wrong
way, and saw him as more than what the world bothered to see. It didn’t help
that Eren was an attractive man, and was becoming more so each day he trained.
 
Levi relaxed back against the pillows and studied Eren in the dim lighting. The
weight of the world was on his shoulders, and yet Eren looked so peaceful in
sleep. Levi was glad that they had both finally gotten rest. Already Levi could
feel his self-control returning; he could desire Eren and not pursue it. It was
more important for them to hone Eren’s titan abilities and for all of them to
prepare for going beyond the walls. Indulging in these desires could only
hinder them, especially since Levi doubted Eren liked Levi enough to appreciate
any advances from him.
 
It was easier to just be content with this, and that’s what Levi planned to do.
He had never been one to sleep in but that morning he closed his eyes again and
dozed as he listened to Eren’s even breathing, taking comfort in this moment of
easy peace.
 
It could only last for so long though, and eventually Eren began to shift
around as he yawned loudly. Levi remained still and quiet on the bed as he
watched Eren stretch out the kinks from a long, deep sleep. It was harder to
stay silent when Eren flopped back down on the bed and returned to curling up
against Levi’s side, dozy but still very much conscious.
 
Wanting to hide his actual enjoyment of their positioning without being too
mean, Levi teased quietly. “Do I make a good pillow?”
 
Eren hummed, still out of it, and then grunted when reality struck him. “Fuck,
sorry Captain,” Eren sat up in bed and scrubbed at his face, no doubt
embarrassed even though the light was too dim for Levi to make out a blush.
 
“Did you sleep well?” Levi asked instead of reprimanding him further.
 
His answer was another wide yawn and a sheepish smile. “Better than I have in a
long time. You?”
 
“Same,” Levi admitted and then climbed out of bed, refusing to let himself
linger any longer. “Hanji will likely be caught up with zher new titans today
so we’ll train in the forest, but tomorrow we’re going to take you to that
well.”
 
“Yes, sir.” As Levi exited the room and headed for his own he tried to remember
if Eren’s voice had always sounded that warm.
 
#
 
Levi ate a full bowl of porridge with Eren sitting across from him, wolfing
down his own bowl; their appetites had returned once they got sleep which Levi
was grateful for since he finally felt less weak. They were mostly silent while
they ate but it felt oddly comfortable. The only awkward moment was when Petra
joined them with her own food, looking between them as she sat down beside
Levi. “You both look rested,” she smiled widely. “Finally fixed the issue?”
 
Eren’s gaze sought Levi’s across the table but before either of them could open
their mouths to come up with some excuse Hanji burst into the room. Zher grin
could blind the sun. “What are you all still doing inside? Don’t you want to
meet our new visitors?” zhe leaned against the table beside Eren, not bothering
to take a seat. “Sorry, did I interrupt something?” zhe added when zhe noticed
the silence in the room.
 
“I was just commenting on how Levi and Eren finally look like they got some
sleep,” Petra turned her smile to Hanji, unsuspecting.
 
However, Hanji’s eyes flashed from Levi to Eren and back, zher gaze knowing.
Then Hanji returned zher attention to Petra and kept zher voice peppy. “I gave
them a few tips; looked like it helped,” was all zhe said. Levi released a
silent breath of relief.
 
“That’s good,” Petra nodded, glancing back to Levi. “I was worried about both
of you.”
 
“It was good to sleep,” Eren spoke up, his own smile warm though he was clearly
making an effort to not let his eyes linger on Levi. “And I’m looking forward
to another good sleep tonight.”
 
“I bet you are!” Hanji smacked him on the arm playfully. “Anyway, no one
answered my question. Don’t you want to come meet Sawney and Bean?”
 
“You named the titans?” Eren asked in surprise.
 
“Of course I did! Don’t be rude!” This time Hanji gave Eren a little smack on
the back of his head.
 
Petra giggled beside Levi. “We can meet them before we head out into the forest
to train,” she offered.
 
Not seeing a reason to argue, Levi nodded and focused on finishing his food.
Gunter, Erd and Auruo had already eaten and were outside getting the gear
together, and the whole squad would meet up shortly. Meeting Hanji’s new titans
was interesting. Despite zher sometimes eccentric attitude, Levi was a firm
believer in Hanji’s intelligence and the importance of learning everything they
could about their enemies. He had only become increasingly intrigued after
learning about Eren’s existence and abilities.
 
The training in the forest was much more enjoyable after a good night’s sleep,
and it was obvious that everyone else was enjoying themselves more as well.
Levi’s body was loose and relaxed as he flew through the trees, and gave no
protests when he tensed or skipped across the branches for a more complicated
manoeuvre. Eren was performing impressively as well, and Levi didn’t chide him
for giving one or two excited cheers as they all sailed through the forest
together. The rest of his squad could pick up on his good mood and was smiling
and chatting even as they worked together to complete drills, and Levi didn’t
fight down his smile. These were the days he lived for.
 
That night when it came time to sleep Levi hesitated. He knew Eren had already
gone down to his room for the night, while Levi had been busy for a few hours
talking with Erwin. Levi entered his own room to change into his sleeping
clothes and eventually decided that he would try to sleep there for the night.
His body was pleasantly worn out from their training that day and he figured it
would be easy enough to fall asleep now that the pressure to do so was gone.
Besides, he didn’t want to become reliant on Eren just to get enough sleep to
function.
 
Unfortunately, nearly two hours later Levi was still wide awake in bed and
getting increasingly frustrated. Before he could think too thoroughly about any
consequences he slid out of bed and headed down the stairs. He was quiet when
he entered Eren’s room, not wanting to wake him if Eren had managed to fall
asleep on his own, and was strangely pleased when he saw Eren sit up in bed
looking just as awake as Levi.
 
“About time! I thought you’d never come!” Eren snapped before falling back
against the pillows. “Hurry up and get into bed; I’m exhausted.”
 
Levi felt his lips quirking up with amusement. He did as he was told,
navigating his way through the darkness before sliding under the already-warmed
covers. “Were you waiting for me?”
 
“I figured you had managed to fall asleep in your own room and I was lying here
wondering why the hell I couldn’t sleep too,” Eren sighed and shuffled over
closer to the wall so that Levi had enough room to lie down. “I’ve never had
this sort of problem before, except, I guess, for a while after my mom died.
Maybe it’s like that except I’m stressed now after what happened in Trost.”
 
“Maybe,” Levi agreed, though that didn’t explain his own issue of being unable
to sleep without Eren nearby. Perhaps he was concerned for the kid, and could
relax enough to sleep only when he was nearby and knew Eren was safe. Levi
considered asking if Eren wanted to talk about Trost, but was too tired to
offer that evening. “Regardless, we need sleep to function and if this is what
works then we’ll continue.”
 
Eren rolled over in the darkness. He wasn’t close enough to be touching, but
Levi could feel the dip of the mattress near his hip. “Sorry you got stuck
rooming with me.”
 
Levi shrugged. “You’re stuck rooming with me too, brat,” he reminded the kid
almost affectionately. “It’s a two-way street.”
 
“I don’t mind,” Eren murmured, already sounding half-asleep.
 
“Same,” Levi whispered back. He heard no response except for a quiet snore that
indicated that Eren was already gone. This time it was Levi who shuffled a tiny
bit closer until his shoulder nudged Eren’s own under the blankets. Once
physical contact had been established Levi sighed contently and drifted off
into his own slumber.
 
#
 
Levi's squad and Hanji's squad plus Eren made the thirty minute ride from the
castle the next morning to the old well near an abandoned farm. Today was the
first day they would begin to test Eren's titan abilities. Levi had figured out
that he would likely be able to get Eren out of a titan body without killing
him by cutting him out so Levi was slightly less apprehensive about Eren
shifting. But he was still uncertain about how Hanji's experiments would go
since Eren's abilities seemed so unreliable.
 
They got the ladder hooked up and after Eren's eyes briefly locked with Levi's,
he climbed down to the bottom of the well. It was murky and dark down in the
well when Levi looked over the edge, but he could still make out Eren's
trusting and determined gaze. "Ready, Eren?" Hanji called down to him, zher
voice echoing off the stones. "When it's prepared, I'll use the smoke round to
notify you. After that, any decisions are up to you."
 
"Roger!" Eren yelled back, raising a hand. Hanji was already heading for zher
horse but Levi hovered for a second longer, meeting Eren's gaze before finally
dragging himself away.
 
Once they were both on their horses and a short distance away Hanji released a
green smoke round, signalling that Eren should try to shift. They allowed a
minute to pass by, waiting for some sign that never came. Hanji hummed in
confusion. "Did he not see the signal?"
 
"No," Levi said. "His ability just isn't that reliable." He knew Eren was young
and inexperienced, and that he had enough stress to explain this sort of
failure, but Levi was still disappointed. It wasn't fair to put the hope of
humanity on one boy's shoulders but that was the truth of the situation, and
Levi had allowed himself to believe that Eren might help the humans finally
fight, take back their land, and win.
 
They pushed their horses into a trot and returned to the well. Levi didn't know
what to expect since it didn't look like Eren was in the process of climbing
out, and grew more concerned when he received no response after shouting to
Eren that they were going to take a break. What Levi saw when he looked over
the edge of the well made his heart ache with a sharp pang. Eren was standing
in the middle of the well, deep bites on his hands dripping blood across Eren's
fingers and wrists, and more blood trailing from his mouth from repeatedly
abusing his own skin.
 
Eren's voice was disbelieving, his eyes scared. "I can't become a titan."
 
Levi's disappointment fell to the back of his mind. "Can you climb?" he asked,
eyes tracing the lines of blood.
 
"I think so," Eren's voice wavered but he looked determined. Levi watched as
Eren reached for the ladder and cried out angrily with pain as he gripped the
rope. Levi was halfway to climbing over the edge when Hanji caught his arm and
held him back. He knew zhe was right; the climb would be painful but Eren would
probably feel better for doing it himself after a failure like this. However,
as soon as Eren reached the top Levi grabbed him and hauled him over the edge.
He held Eren steady until his trembling stopped, and then the three of them
made their way to the horses to rejoin the rest of their group.
 
Everyone was already seated at the set up tables, and there was tea waiting for
them. Hanji bandaged Eren's wounds before heading off to update zher squad,
while Levi did the same for his squad sitting at the tables. He ignored the
urge to fret and instead stood a short distance away from the table, trying to
focus on his tea so that he wouldn't hear Eren's hisses of pain as his wounds
were cleaned and treated.
 
Levi was onto his second cup of tea when he allowed himself to look over, and
felt his stomach twist when he saw some blood seeping through the bandages on
Eren's hands. He stepped closer until he was hovering beside Eren, his face a
practiced blank stare. "So your self-inflicted bite wounds on your hands aren't
healing either?"
 
Eren fidgeted with his hands, his expression a little horrified now. "No."
 
Levi stared at him. "If you can't transform into a titan, our main goal of
sealing Wall Maria is off the table." Eren wouldn't meet his gaze. "This is an
order..." Levi's voice lowered to a dangerous pitch. "Make it happen."
 
He walked away before he could say more, not knowing if he was helping by
giving Eren motivation or hindering him by just putting more pressure on his
abilities. He ignored how distressed Eren sounded when he spoke, "Yes, sir."
 
Petra walked over and tried to start a conversation with him even though Levi
wasn't in the mood to reciprocate. He could hear Erd, Gunter and Auruo talking
quietly to Eren but didn't strain his ears to hear the conversation. However,
Levi couldn't miss the sound of Eren gasping quietly in pain. Levi didn't even
have a chance to turn and look before he felt a wall of heat and sound hit him
at the explosion behind him.
 
Immediately Levi dropped his cup and ran through the sparks and steam until he
found Eren at the centre. Half of a ribcage and one large, skinless titan arm
had appeared from nowhere, and Eren was struggling frantically to pry his arm
from its connection to titan flesh. Levi could hear Eren's breathing speeding
up until he sounded close to hyperventilating. "Why now?!"
 
Through the steam Levi could see his squad circling Eren and the mass of titan
flesh, swords already drawn and aimed. Levi positioned himself between his
squad and Eren and held up a hand, keeping his voice level. "Calm down."
 
"Captain Levi!" Eren called to him desperately but Levi couldn't afford to look
away, instead watching his squad to ensure they didn't make any sudden
movements.
 
"I said to calm down," he repeated. "All of you."
 
One by one his squad began to yell at Eren, first questioning him and demanding
answers before quickly moving on to threatening him. As their yelling increased
Levi could see Eren beginning to panic, sweating as he looked around
frantically. Eren attempted to defend himself, to explain that he didn't know
what was going on, but everyone kept talking over him. Levi was getting ignored
as well even as he told them to wait and calm down again.
 
Petra was the one to finally break Levi's resolve to remain neutral. "Captain,
get away from Eren! You're too close!"
 
"No, you're the ones who should get back," Levi said, levelling her with a
glare. "Get back," he gave a direct order.
 
"Why?!" she demanded.
 
"My intuition."
 
Petra hesitated but the others continued on. Levi was about to turn and drag
them all away when Eren's voice shouted over everyone else. "Please shut up for
a second!"
 
Silence echoed as the steam finally cleared. Before anyone could say anything
else Hanji ran towards them, cheering with excitement. As usual zhe made a
slight spectacle of zherself, getting too excited to touch the arm and burning
zher hands in the process, but it was the distraction everyone needed for the
tension to be cut. As Levi watched zher flail and finally fall to zher knees,
he couldn't help wonder if zhe was acting this way on purpose to draw some
attention from Eren. Whatever the reason, Levi was grateful.
 
Levi turned back to watch as Eren began trying to pull his arm loose again.
With a yell Eren was free and he tumbled backwards to the grass, coming to rest
by Levi's feet. Eren moved to a kneeling position, sweating and panting
harshly. Levi stepped closer until he was standing at Eren's side, looking down
at him. "Captain..." Eren whispered.
 
Levi studied his face; the dull eyes and the pallor skin. "How do you feel?" he
questioned, already guessing the answer.
 
Eren looked back to the ground, his body shaking as he barely held himself up.
"Not..." Eren forced out the words. "Not so good."
 
Despite knowing that his squad and Hanji were all watching, Levi lightly
brushed his fingers over Eren's hair. His heart softened when Eren rested his
body against Levi's leg for support, his breathing a little less laboured. Levi
looked back up to meet the gazes of his team members. "We're going back to the
castle. There's no sense doing more today. Pack up."
 
Everyone else left without a word but Levi remained where he was, supporting
Eren until he had enough strength to stand and drag himself onto his horse.
They didn't make it halfway back to the castle before Eren puked off the side
of his horse, but after that they continued forward; Levi preferred the safety
of the castle walls rather than trust the open fields.
 
When they arrived back Levi led Eren down to the basement. They didn't make it
to either of their bedrooms, Eren ending up in the bathroom throwing up again.
Levi leaned against the wall outside and waited until Eren finally emerged,
still trembling and pale but looking a little less queasy. To Levi's slight
concern Eren just sat on the steps beside him rather than moving either
upstairs for food or downstairs for his bed.
 
They were silent for a long time until Eren spoke. "Until I saw that they were
actually ready to kill me, I didn't understand... that they doubted me so
much."
 
Levi listened quietly and then spoke. "Of course they do," he said. "That's why
I chose them. People say you only truly become a full member of the Survey
Corps after making it back alive from a mission. But whenever you fight the
titans, you never have enough information. There are too many situations you
just can't anticipate no matter what." He could feel Eren's eyes on him as he
continued. "They've had to cultivate the ability to take quick action and to
make ruthless decisions by assuming the worst case scenario. But that doesn't
mean they've become heartless. It's not that they felt nothing when they turned
their swords on you."
 
"Captain Levi..." the voice of another Survey Corps member and footsteps at the
top of the stairs interrupted them. “Squad Leader Hanji wants to see you."
 
"We're coming," Levi called up to the man and then looked back down to Eren,
who looked dejected and worn out. Levi silently offered a hand and pulled Eren
to his feet when Eren accepted the offer, and together they headed for the
small dining room they most frequently used.
 
The rest of the squad and Hanji were already there when they arrived and Levi
stood by Eren's side. Hanji showed everyone a teaspoon and then explained that
zhe had found it clasped in the fingers of Eren's titan hand, yet pointed out
that it had sustained no damage from heat or pressure. Eren admitted that he
had been trying to pick it up and Hanji surmised that Eren could only transform
when he had a specific goal in mind. During the whole conversation Levi kept
his gaze fixed on Eren, reading his face and processing the new information
alongside him.
 
Gunter was the next one to speak up. "In other words, you didn't deliberately
change without permission?"
 
Eren looked at each member of the Special Operations Squad one by one. "No,
sir."Levi watched silently as the rest of the squad locked gazes and then bit
down on their hand in a similar fashion to how Eren triggered his shifting.
"Wait, what are you doing?" Eren sounded distressed but Levi was watching with
renewed pride for his team.
 
"We made the wrong decision," Gunter said. "This is a small price to pay."
 
"I'm sorry, Eren. We've been so jumpy. You must be disappointed in our
stupidity," Petra said sadly. "However, even so... We're going to rely on you.
And we want you to rely on us. So have faith in us."
 
Each member of the squad would now and forever bear a scar on their hand of
their bite, which would serve as a promise of trust and faith. Levi looked at
his own hand, skin unblemished, and then returned his eyes to Eren when he
heard the kid whisper, "Thank you."
 
It was obvious by his expression that Eren was exhausted and overwhelmed, and
with the present conversation completed Levi hooked a hand under Eren's arm and
steered him towards the door. "Time to rest; we don't need you anymore
unreliable."
 
"I'm sorry, sir..." Eren's head hung low.
 
Once they were alone in the hallway and heading down the stairs Levi rested a
hand on Eren's shoulders. "Quiet. I'm proud of you, not disappointed." Eren's
eyes widened but Levi nudged him in the direction of his room. "Go get changed.
I'll be there soon."
 
Eren was sitting on the bed and looked up when Levi entered and closed the door
behind him. They were both in sleeping clothes but ended up sitting on top of
the blankets, side by side with their backs against the headboard. They were
silent for a few minutes and then Levi asked a question that had been weighing
on his mind. “Eren, if you bit yourself right now would you turn into a titan?”
Eren shook his head immediately. “What makes you so certain?”
 
“Because I would never want you to be in danger or risk hurting you,” Eren
said. “Shifting would do that so I know I wouldn’t change.”
 
“Show me.”
 
“But, Captain—!”
 
Levi lifted a hand and gripped Eren’s chin, forcing Eren to meet his gaze. They
were so close that Levi would only have to lean forward two, maybe three inches
before his lips were against Eren’s own. “I want you to show me.”
 
He released Eren but Eren remained where he was, leaning forward slightly and
eyes a bit wide. When he regained his senses Eren lifted a hand and, without
more than a second of hesitation, bit into his skin. There was no explosion or
steam, and no titan body suddenly filling their bed. Blood welled up from
Eren’s skin and Levi finally pulled his hand away, using the bandages he had
brought to cover the wound. This mark would stay until Eren transformed again.
 
As soon as Eren’s hand was tended to Levi held up his own hand in front of his
face. He considered it for a moment, braced himself, and then bit down until he
tasted blood welling on his tongue. Levi ignored Eren’s cry of surprise but did
allow the younger man to pull Levi’s hand from his mouth and tend to the wound
once Levi had accomplished what he had wanted. The scar would remain on his
body for the rest of his life, however long that ended up being.
 
“Captain, I don’t understand,” Eren muttered. He finished bandaging Levi’s hand
but didn’t let go.
 
Levi didn’t remove his hand from Eren’s grasp. “We’ve asked you to work with
us, and to trust us. I wanted to prove to you that I trust you in return.”
 
Eren’s green eyes fell to their clasped hands. “But that scar will stay
forever.”
 
“It’s a vow of trust that I intend to keep,” Levi explained.
“Captain…”
 
“Eren, just call me Levi.”
 
Eren bit his lip and looked away. Levi sighed and pulled his hand free,
standing from the bed; he was already pushing too much, bordering on
inappropriate. He was about to leave – to force himself to find a way to sleep
on his own – when Eren’s hand shot out to gently clasp his wrist. Levi looked
over his shoulder at Eren. “Levi,” Eren said his name softly. “Don’t go.”
 
“I’ll just blow out the lanterns,” Levi said and carefully extracted his hand
again. He extinguished all the lanterns except for the one closest to the bed,
and then slipped under the covers beside Eren.
 
They were both lying on their backs staring up at the ceiling, watching the
resulting shadows from the flame of the final lantern flickering. It was
peaceful lying there with Eren. “Levi…?” Eren whispered hesitantly. Levi
grunted to indicate that he was awake. “Can I…? Can I lie closer to you?”
 
Levi tilted his head to regard Eren. “Why?” he asked, barely containing his
nerves.
 
Eren’s blush was obvious, though Levi didn’t know if Eren was just embarrassed
or if his heart was racing as quickly as Levi’s was. “I feel safe when I’m
close to you,” Eren confessed to the ceiling.
 
“And sharing the same bed isn’t enough?” Levi drawled.
 
“It’s enough,” Eren told him. “But I want more. Mikasa, my adoptive sister,
always told me I was greedy. I guess she was right.” Eren laughed tightly,
perhaps trying to change the topic to save himself from further embarrassment
or maybe feeling pained at the memories of his friends and family who were far
away or long gone.
 
“Well it won’t kill me, so I guess you should get over here,” Levi said calmly
even though he was anything but calm.
 
Eren looked over at him in surprise. “Really?”
 
Levi rolled his eyes. “Get over here before I change my mind.”
 
Without another word Eren rolled over and shuffled closer, hesitantly moulding
his body to Levi’s side. Levi moved his arm out of the way so that it didn’t
get pinned and when he couldn’t figure out what to do with it he loosely
wrapped it around Eren’s shoulders. Similarly Eren seemed to be struggling to
figure out what to do with his arm, and finally rested it across Levi’s stomach
after another nervous glance up to ensure Levi wouldn’t skin him alive for
doing so.
 
Immediately Levi felt warm, but it was the sort of heat that lulled him.
“Better?” he said, not minding that his voice had lost its sharp edge.
 
“Mmmmuch,” Eren hummed, head resting against Levi’s shoulder. “I haven’t been
this happy since before the Colossal Titan kicked a hole in the wall of the
Shiganshina District. I didn’t think it was possible to feel this happy and
content again after watching my mom get killed.”
 
Levi held Eren a little tighter. “It’s been longer than that for me since I
felt this happy, though it’s not a competition.”
 
Eren lifted his head slightly to catch Levi’s gaze. “Petra told me that you
used to be a famous thug in the cities. Is that true?”
 
Levi met his gaze. “Would you think less of me if it was?”
 
Eren’s eyebrows furrowed. “No, of course not. We all had a life before the
titans breached the walls. I know I still don’t know you very well, and don’t
know what you were like before. But I see the way you are now, and I remember
watching you pass by on an expedition out of the city when I was younger. You
always passed through Shiganshina since it was the outer-most city. I saw you
and I was inspired.”
 
“I’m not perfect, kid,” Levi warned. “Don’t set yourself up to be
disappointed.”
 
“I’m not saying you’re perfect. But we all need someone or something to look up
to when things are as shitty as they are, and you keep me fighting,” Eren said
and then glanced away, clearly embarrassed by his own declaration. “Anyway, do
you think you’d tell me about your time before the Survey Corps someday?”
 
“Someday,” Levi agreed, though he didn’t commit to a time. For now, despite his
affection for the boy in his arms, he wasn’t ready to divulge that information.
 
Eren rested his head back down and they fell into a comfortable silence. Levi
figured Eren had fallen asleep but then he spoke again. “Today was such a
screw-up, but I’m glad it happened.”
 
“Oh?”
 
“Well I fucked up royally,” Eren sighed. “But it helped us learn more about my
abilities so it was worth it. And I feel so much closer to you.”
 
“Me?”
 
“W-well all of you,” Eren corrected. “After our talk in the dining room. I
think we all needed that talk to figure out where we stand. But yeah…
Especially to you.” He continued without needing to be prompted again. “Even
though we’ve had to share a bed, you really don’t know me yet. And today out by
the well you had no idea what was going on just like everyone else. I could’ve
transformed on purpose, trying to kill you all while you were away from
everyone else at the castle.”
 
“But you weren’t,” Levi said.
 
“But you didn’t know that!” Eren pressed. “And yet you stood between me and the
squad anyway. You believed in me, and not many people have done that before. I…
It meant a lot to me.”
 
Levi stared at the top of Eren’s head and then at the ceiling, trying to
process his thoughts and feelings. He was glad that Eren was leaning against
his right side so that he couldn’t hear Levi’s heart stumbling away in his
ribcage. “Are you always this sappy?” he asked eventually, because anything
else he might've said would’ve been inappropriate.
 
He felt Eren hide his face by pressing it closer against Levi’s shoulder. “Not
usually.”
 
“Aren’t I lucky?” Levi teased, though his tone was sincere. When Eren didn’t
respond Levi hugged Eren to him a little tighter, and finally he felt Eren’s
body relax against him. “Let’s sleep,” he suggested. “Each day is only going to
get busier from here.”
 
He moved away just long enough to blow out the final lantern and then allowed
Eren to pull him back under the blankets. This was all new to Levi and although
he had previous thought that he would never like someone clinging to him in
this way, he realized that he actually enjoyed it. At least, he liked it when
Eren did it. Levi wound his arm around Eren’s shoulders again as Eren held him
close in return, and together they fell into an easy sleep.
***** Chapter 3 *****
The month passed quickly, time taken up with both titan and Gear training.
Shifting into even a partial titan always wiped Eren out so they only worked on
that a few times a week. The rest of the time Levi and Eren were out with the
rest of the squad, in the forest with their gear, spiralling around the castle
walls or practicing sword techniques in the courtyard.
 
Any time designated for rest had Eren in the back courtyard helping Hanji with
the experiments on Bean and Sawney, and Levi up in the top tower with Erwin
discussing his plans for their expedition beyond the wall. They had to plan and
prepare everything so that when the new recruits arrived, they would be able to
use the full remaining month to teach them the formations required before they
had to head out into danger.
 
Each evening they ate together as a group, Levi often sitting quietly and
listening to the conversations passed around the table. He had begun to talk to
Eren more in the quiet evenings when they were curled up in bed but not yet
ready to sleep, but Levi still rarely spoke unless required over meals. It was
unnecessary for the most part; Eren talked enough for the both of them.
 
There was something about curling up in bed with Eren each night that made Levi
feel closer to him, besides their obvious connection when they talked. Eren
told Levi more about his time growing up, his family and friends and his time
training after losing his home. Levi was still hesitant to divulge too much
information and Eren didn’t push him, but Levi did slowly begin to offer up new
stories about his past some evenings when he was feeling particularly warm and
relaxed.
 
Levi’s affection for Eren had bloomed into something fully-fledged, though he
didn’t often show any indication that his feelings had grown. He knew Hanji and
Erwin could tell since they knew him best and often sent him knowing looks when
Levi talked about Eren. Levi wasn’t sure if the rest of his squad guessed or if
they just thought he was as protective as always, and he knew for a fact that
Eren was as oblivious as always. Which was a relief, because after a month of
murmured conversations in the dark and waking up with Eren beside him, Levi
dreaded the possibility of Eren being disgusted by him and sending him away.
Levi would survive, but it had gotten to the point that he would miss Eren.
 
Still, despite making a general effort to remain appropriate, Levi did allow
himself a few liberties when alone with Eren since Eren never appeared upset or
uncomfortable. Each time Eren managed to summon even a portion of a titan body
he would always look sick and pale afterwards and end up on his knees as he
tried to breathe through his nausea. Levi would step closer until Eren could
rest against him and Levi slipped his fingers through Eren’s hair as he
recovered. It seemed to help and it became a routine.
 
Levi’s touches also lingered anytime he was correcting one of Eren’s fighting
postures, Eren always drawing him in. However, the nights were the only time
Levi really let his guard down. Sometimes he would wrap his arms around Eren’s
shoulders and other times he would hold Eren’s waist. And he never commented in
the mornings when they woke up with their legs tangled together under the
blankets.
 
He was trying to enjoy things while they lasted because Levi suspected things
would change once the new trainees arrived. Eren had said that he was expecting
at least some of the soldiers from his training group to join the Survey Corps,
and Levi knew that would be the end of…whatever it was he and Eren were
sharing. If Eren’s friends returned to him then he wouldn’t need to curl up
with Levi, the quiet, unapproachable Captain who was already in over his head.
 
Levi knew his guess had been correct on the day when the trainees arrived at
the castle, even though Levi had not seen any of them personally. Halfway
through the day Levi ran into Auruo and asked where Eren was. He had been
informed that Eren had seen some of his friends in the new trainee group and
had asked permission to spend the day with them as they were shown around,
given their uniforms and introduced to the area.
 
Levi spent the afternoon and the evening with Erwin, knowing he had to help
finalize the plans anyway since Erwin would be speaking with the new recruits
first thing in the morning. Dinner came and went with Levi absent-mindedly
eating between long bouts of discussion and planning, but finally they were
both yawning and it was time for bed. Levi bid farewell and headed down the
stairs, stopping in his bedroom first to change. It took him a few minutes to
make a decision but eventually he dragged his feet down to the basement and
Eren’s room.
 
It was empty, which wasn’t surprising; Eren was likely in the dorm rooms set up
for the new Survey Corps members. He was probably still chatting and catching
up with his friends, swapping stories. There was a good chance that Eren would
just stay there so late that he fell asleep, leaving the basement room alone
for Levi. By this point Levi wasn’t sure if he could sleep alone; he hadn’t
tried in a month. But he reminded himself that he had been through much worse
than an empty bed and blew out all of the lanterns except for the one by the
bed before lying down under the sheets.
 
It helped that they smelled of Eren, and after a little while Levi was feeling
dozy. He lay there, half asleep, for what felt like a while, and then the sound
of footsteps traveling down the stairs caught his attention. However, Levi
remained curled up under the blankets facing the wall, wanting to assess the
situation before he said or did anything.
 
The door was opened quietly and he heard a sigh of relief. “Oh good, you’re
already here,” Eren said. Levi still didn’t respond but listened as Eren
changed into his sleeping clothes and then moved over to the bed to crawl in.
“Levi, are you awake? I have something I need to tell you,” Eren whispered. “I
was talking with my friends all day and they called me a coward for not telling
you sooner, but I’m still so scared that you’ll hate me.”
 
Levi clenched his eyes closed and kept his breathing slow and even, not wanting
Eren to know that he was awake. Was Eren going to ask Levi to go back to his
own bedroom? Eren's friends were probably confused and unimpressed hearing that
Levi, over ten years Eren's senior, was curling up with him at night and were
trying to rectify the situation now that they were here. Couldn't Levi have one
more night of peace?
 
"Fuck, you're asleep," Eren laughed under his breath, sounding strained. "I
build up my courage during the whole walk here and you're fucking asleep. Of
course," Eren sighed. "I'm such an idiot. But maybe this is better." Levi had
to make sure he didn't jump when he felt Eren's fingers skimming over his
shoulder and bare arm, warm skin against skin. "I'll still tell you, because I
want you to know so badly. But at least this way you won't hate me."
 
By now it was a challenge for Levi to keep his breathing regulated, and to
refrain from rolling over and demanding an explanation immediately. Eren's
voice was hushed but sincere and Levi was riveted as he listened. "You keep
everyone out. I don't know why, but you do. And you're right; a lot of people
see you as cold because of it. But honestly I'm glad because I'd never get to
be this close to you if the rest of the world realized how incredible you are.
I wouldn't be able to fight off all your admirers with all the swords left in
the world."
 
Eren's hand skimmed down to gently hold Levi's hip under the blankets. "Yet
somehow I'm lucky. It's just you and me lying here every night, telling stories
or just staying close, and I—fuck," Eren cut himself off, tucking his face
against the back of Levi's neck. "I love you so much that it hurts. I've never
even felt this way before and I don't know what to do. I mean, how could you
ever love me back? I'm a young screw-up who doesn't know what he's doing. I
would've lost my sanity by now without you."
 
Levi's eyes were wide with shock, his heart thrumming in his chest and echoing
in his ears. Yet before he could think of something to say Eren continued on,
obviously spewing the speech he had prepared on the walk back to the room. "I
just wanted to tell you. You need to know somewhere in your subconscious that
you're loved. Because I don't know what's going to happen when we go beyond the
wall, and I'm so scared. You put yourself in danger to protect everyone else
and I can't imagine a world without you in it..."
 
Levi's heart was aching at Eren's words; he couldn't imagine living in a world
without Eren either. He had seen many comrades die, all of which were a heavy
hit to his heart. But it was the thought of the air clearing after a battle and
Levi stumbling across Eren's lifeless body that ruined him. Unwilling to listen
to more, Levi swiftly rolled over on top of Eren and pinned him to the bed,
taking in Eren's squawk of surprise. "Hey Eren, do you ever shut up?"
 
Eren's face flushed red as his eyes widened. "You were awake the whole time?!"
 
Levi ducked down until his mouth was by Eren's ear. "It's hard to sleep when
someone is whispering declarations of love in your ear." And then, before Eren
could worry any further about rejection or a future neither of them could
predict, Levi kissed Eren quiet. He could feel Eren jolt beneath him, his
taller body pliant beneath Levi's weight.
 
Kissing Eren was like taking his first lungful of air after being submerged
underwater to the point of drowning. As Levi locked their lips together and
deepened the kiss he felt his body unwind in the most satisfied way. He never
thought he would be allowed to do this, but now he could and it was everything
he had wanted. Eren was moaning beneath him, his fingers digging into Levi's
hair to hold him as close as he could manage.
 
Levi let the kiss linger before finally pulling back. He could feel that his
lips were tingling from the pressure of their kiss as a smile slid onto his
face. Eren was grinning up at him with a dazed sort of bliss, though that only
lasted until Levi rolled himself back off Eren's body to rest on the mattress.
Eren tracked Levi with his eyes. "Wait," he panted. "That's it?"
 
"Greedy," Levi chided and dragged Eren in for a second but shorter kiss. It was
a challenge to catch his breath at the end of it. "We do need sleep," Levi
reminded Eren, who still looked endearingly dazed. "And we should probably have
this talk again when we're both fully awake."
 
"I'm fully awake now," Eren insisted, smiling when Levi snorted in amusement.
 
"Nonetheless, we'll have plenty of time tomorrow, and after that." Levi brushed
some hair from Eren's face tenderly, disbelieving that this had all worked out.
A few times he had wondered about Eren's feelings in return but had never let
himself hope for something like this.
 
"What about when we go beyond the walls?" Eren worried aloud, moving his hand
to grip Levi's hip in a tight grasp. "I can't lose you, especially not now."
 
"The fear is mutual," Levi promised. "We will fight together and protect one
another when we must. But for now we are safe." He kissed Eren again, softer
this time.
 
Eren's smile didn't fade this time when they separated. "I suppose I could wait
until morning," he said, which was quickly followed by a sheepish yawn. "Yeah,
now that my adrenaline is gone sleep sounds really good."
 
"Good," Levi said with genuine relief. Despite his eagerness to explore this
new relationship, he really was exhausted. He rolled back onto his side facing
the wall and gave a content hum when Eren moved closer immediately after
blowing out the last lantern. Normally Levi wouldn't consider himself someone
who enjoyed being on the receiving end of this sort of thing, but when Eren
spooned him from behind and returned to tucking his face against Levi's neck,
it felt perfect.
 
#
 
As he often did, Levi woke up with an erection the following morning. The
difference was that this morning instead of slipping from the bed to deal with
the situation before Eren woke up, Levi rolled out of Eren's grasp and then
straddled him. Eren groaned and shifted beneath Levi but didn't fully wake, and
Levi stole the opportunity to sneak his hands beneath Eren's shirt and explore
his warm skin.
 
When Levi's fingers skimmed over Eren's nipples he heard Eren moan and finally
saw those beautiful green eyes blink open. Levi paused, waiting for Eren to
kick him off and tell him it had all been a mistake. But as Eren's eyes
sharpened his mouth quirked up into a smile and Eren's hand pressed against the
bulge in Levi's pants. Levi hissed and leaned into the touch. "I guess I don't
need to worry about you regretting last night," Eren said teasingly, though
Levi could see genuine relief on his face.
 
Levi's eyes dropped down to Eren's own crotch where he could see a similar
erection beginning to tent Eren's pants. Levi moved one hand down Eren's
stomach to grind the heel of his palm against Eren's erection in return. Eren
gasped and threw his head back, the immediate flush on his cheeks making him
look alive and beautiful. "Likewise."
 
"Can we talk about the details after?" Eren asked, looking equally sheepish and
eager as his hips rose tentatively against Levi.
 
Levi smirked and ground his palm more heavily against Eren's clothed cock,
dragging out a pleasing choked-off groan. "Yes. Though you do have to answer
one thing." Eren looked up at him curiously, clearly trying to focus. "How do
you feel about biting?" Eren's eyebrows furrowed with confusion so Levi
elaborated, first by leaning down to nibble softly against his neck. He didn't
bite hard enough to cause pain or draw blood, but he made his point clear. Then
he sat back enough to catch Eren's gaze. "Will you turn into a titan?"
 
Eren was panting now and he shook his head frantically. "Definitely not.
There's nothing sexy about being a titan so I wouldn't want to change," Eren
explained. As he spoke his hands gripped the hem of Levi's shirt and pulled it
over his head, and sat up long enough to allow Levi to free Eren of his own
shirt. "Besides," Eren continued as he flopped back against the mattress. "How
would you fuck me as a titan?"
 
"Just wanted to make sure," Levi rode the shock of arousal coursing through his
body at Eren's words and ducked down a second time. He dug his fingers into
Eren's hair to pull his head back and expose his neck before beginning to nip
his skin teasingly. The marks would fade by the time they had to leave the bed,
but for now Levi took in the growing trail of red love bites lining Eren's
neck. Levi made sure to take time to soothe each bite with his tongue, licking
the sensitive red skin he had marked.
 
Next Levi moved his mouth down to the skin below Eren's collarbone where his
uniform would hide the deeper marks Levi bestowed to his skin with patient and
careful teeth and lips. Eren was moaning openly below him, shifting beneath
Levi's body until their cocks nudged together. Levi cursed under his breath and
rocked back against Eren, matching the rhythm of his hips as he continued to
mark and claim Eren as his own. It didn't matter that no one else would see
these; Levi would know that they were there and Eren would feel his sensitive
skin rubbing against the fabric of his uniform and remember this.
 
Eren's hands were traveling greedily, crossing the expanse of Levi's back while
also taking turns gripping Levi's neck, hips or ass to drag him closer. At one
point Eren knotted his fingers in Levi's own hair and dragged his mouth away
from Eren's skin, drawing a warning growl from Levi's throat. Eren shivered at
the sound but didn't retreat as their eyes met. "I wasn't kidding, you know. I
want all of you."
 
"Tough shit," Levi lifted his body high enough that there was no longer any
contact between their straining erections, but kept Eren pinned to the bed.
"I'll fuck you when I choose and not before."
 
"Why not now?" Eren whined, lifting his hips in a failed effort to regain some
form of friction. "Fuck, Levi, come on."
 
"It's my own fault," Levi put on a false tone of remorse. "I've let you get
soft. You've forgotten your place with me allowing you to get close." He dented
Eren's bottom lip with his thumb and gently pulled his mouth open, watching as
Eren's tongue hesitantly darted out to tease Levi's thumb. Levi crowded Eren
against the mattress, his eyes dark with desire. "You are mine, and I can take
you when I desire it." Eren whimpered and greedily sucked Levi's thumb into his
mouth even as he nodded his submission. Affection returning after his moment of
possessiveness and Levi murmured against Eren's ear. "I also don't have lube
and I won't hurt you. Be patient."
 
The smile Eren gave him then was awed and sweet and Levi kissed it away quickly
before he could feel more embarrassed. However, what he wasn't expecting was
Eren's breathy whisper. "Anything for you, Captain Levi."
 
"Brat," Levi muttered and then kissed Eren deeply again. He didn't fight it
when Eren wrapped his arms around Levi and forced their bodies together again,
immediately restarting the rhythm they had shared as soon as the friction
returned. Levi thrust against him while kissing Eren until they were both out
of breath and panting, which was when Levi sat back and pulled their waistbands
down enough to free both of their leaking cocks.
 
"I'll teach you a thing or two," Levi promised Eren as he wrapped a hand around
both of their cocks, squeezing them loosely. Once he got his hand coated in
precome he began stroking them together, bucking up into the touch with the
same sort of building frenzy that had Eren's eyes glassy and his fingers
gripping the sheets for stability.
 
The noises Eren was making were addicting and Levi found himself forgetting his
own pleasure for a moment and thrusting against Eren only to hear the kid's
voice crack as he moaned and shouted and clenched his eyes closed. Eren was
putty in Levi's hand and Levi was enjoying every second of it, turned on at
seeing Eren sprawled out and eager to lean into the touch and take what Levi
was willing to give him.
 
It was only so long before Levi lost control of himself as well, and soon he
was tightening his fist and fucking his hand with demanding thrusts, the
tightness in his groin spurring him on to seek out release. He wanted to
continue kissing Eren but the angle was off so Levi simply studied the pattern
of love bites his mouth had left littered across Eren's skin.
 
Eren was beginning to squirm and Levi could tell that he was close. The way
Eren's hips lifted to slide his cock through Levi's grip was erratic and
instinctive, and Levi took the hint to tighten his hold and fuck Eren to his
completion. Eren was biting his bottom lip like he didn't want it, like he
wanted it to last forever, but Levi was determined to watch Eren's face as he
came and twisted his grip on each thrust to wring out Eren's pleasure.
 
All at once Eren arched off the bed with enough strength to lift Levi with him.
A shudder rippled through his body and with a cry that echoed off the stone
walls Eren spilled his seed across Levi's working hand. Immediately Eren's hot
come coated Levi's fingers, making the glide of his fist smoother, and it only
took a few more sharp ruts of his hips before Levi was groaning and streaking
his own come across Eren's stomach.
 
When he was spent Levi only had enough energy to wipe his hand clean on Eren's
pant leg before he collapsed beside Eren on the mattress. Immediately Eren
rolled over and kissed Levi with such desperate strength that Levi saw stars
behind his eyes. He met the kiss greedily as his fingers skidded across Eren's
sweaty skin and then they curled up together to keep warm as their skin cooled
and their hearts calmed.
 
"Wow," Eren said on a long exhale, his head on Levi's rising and falling chest.
"You better get lube soon."
 
Levi chuckled tiredly, fingers brushing through Eren's hair as sleep threatened
to reclaim him. "When I do I'll be sure to inform everyone that you've been
ordered to stay in bed all day."
 
Eren stretched languidly and pulled the blankets up around them before moulding
himself to Levi's side again. Levi knew it was morning but not exactly which
hour, or if anyone would be wondering why they weren't out of bed yet. Deciding
that he didn't care, Levi held Eren closer against him and let his eyes close
as he listened to their mingled breathing.
 
#
 
An anguished scream was what jolted them out of bed, Levi and Eren's gazes
locking for a split second before they were rushing to change their clothes. As
soon as they were decent they raced up the stairs two at a time, joining the
rush of other Survey Corps members pouring out into the back courtyard. The
crowd parted for Levi when they saw him and Eren was on his heels, and together
they made their way to the front of the group.
 
They found Hanji on zher knees, releasing another pained cry as zhe and the
rest of the group watched the two deteriorating titan corpses of Bean and
Sawney. Levi could tell by the pale morning light that it was still early; the
attack must have been completed right before dawn. In another few minutes there
would be nothing left of their two captive titans other than steam, and that
would quickly be snatched away by the wind.
 
Levi was disappointed by their loss since they couldn't experiment on Eren the
way they did tests on the other two titans, but he knew Hanji's pain ran
deeper. Levi didn't feel as forgiving of the titans as zhe did, but he could
respect Hanji for being brave and open enough to consider other perspectives
and answers. And he knew zhe had grown attached to them, as zhe always did.
 
Levi didn't stop Eren when he pushed forward to kneel beside Hanji, resting a
comforting hand on zher shoulder. Hanji wailed, covered zher face, and began
shouting obscenities at whoever had done this. Erwin had arrived by this point,
standing tall beside Levi and overlooking the scene. "It's not always good to
be proven right," Erewin said under his breath.
 
Levi looked to him and then back to the remains of the two titans. He knew the
fears Erwin had been hoping were incorrect, and that had now been proven true.
"No, it isn't."
 
"Take care of him."
 
Levi's gaze was already resting on Eren's back. "I will."
 
They eventually got the crowd dispersed, Hanji's squad taking over to clean the
remains while Eren pulled Hanji to zher feet. Eren led Hanji back into the
castle until zhe took over and headed to zher room, Eren and Levi trailing
behind zher. Hanji had a large table set up in the corner with a few chairs
scattered around it, though books full of notes and drawings covered the
majority of the table's surface. Hanji took one of the chairs and Levi took the
other one, while Eren continued to stand beside Hanji and rest a warm hand on
zher shoulder.
 
"I'm sorry, Hanji," Eren said, even though it wasn't his fault. Levi understood
that Eren just didn't like to see Hanji so upset; they had developed a bond as
well during the last month. They all had.
 
"Thanks, Eren," Hanji rested a hand on top of his. "At least we won't have to
torture them any longer," zhe whispered, taking deep breaths to keep zherself
calm. "I know it's a blow to our research and understanding, and they didn't
deserve to be killed like that. They were tied down! They couldn't even do
anything!" zhe ground zher teeth together. "But it means they're free."
 
Levi could see the conflict on Eren's face, similar to the one in Levi's own
mind. He hated titans with a passion, and yet he also hated to see something
suffer, and the injustice of something being killed without even having the
chance to defend itself. "Is there anything I can do?" Eren asked after a
moment. "We can do more experiments on me to keep learning."
 
Levi didn't manage to mute his displeased growl, drawing both of their eyes.
Hanji seemed to perk up slightly. "There are a lot of hypotheses I can continue
to test with you, Eren," zhe said. "Especially with you and Levi together."
 
Eren immediately pulled his hand away, looking flustered as he fidgeted with
the cuff of his jacket. "What do you mean?"
 
Hanji was still staring directly at Levi and Levi didn't bother looking away.
"Oh, please. I see both of you every single day. It's pretty obvious that you
two are a pair. And it'll give me a great chance to see if titans have any
ability to experience arousal or affection." By now Eren was blushing furiously
and although Levi felt uncomfortable, he didn't shift his weight in the chair.
"Especially since you seem to have desired to be physically close to Levi ever
since you met him and had physical contact, Eren."
 
"Do you think that's why we couldn't sleep separately later?" Levi mused,
admittedly curious despite the fact that he was hypothesising about himself and
his relationship with Eren.
 
"Definitely possible," Hanji nodded eagerly. "Even in full titan form Eren has
never even shown an inclination of violence towards you. In fact, he often ends
up standing between you and us since he perceives us as a threat." Hanji looked
up at Eren, who looked like he was trying to piece together a puzzle. They
always told Eren what happened when he shifted into a titan since Eren's
memories were usually wiped when he changed back; perhaps his thoughts and
memories from his titan form were returning.
 
Eren left Hanji's side and walked towards Levi, slow but determined. Levi
looked up and tensed when Eren held his face between his palms and kissed him
with such deep intensity that Levi's heart stilled for an instant. "I
remember," Eren murmured after the kiss ended. "Even if I change for some other
reason, the goal to protect you is always there. I don't think Hanji is right
about the arousal, but I definitely think I remember affection."
 
"You felt affection in titan form?" Hanji exclaimed, jumping to zher feet.
"Eren, we must explore this further! This could be groundbreaking! I wonder if
you could stave off shifting when you bit yourself if Levi was nearby..."
 
"Actually, we've already tested that," Eren said with a chuckle. "I want to
keep Levi safe, so I don't change."
 
Hanji's eyes sharpened. "What do you think would happen if Levi was the one to
bite you and inflict pain? Can you try it now?"
 
Eren shifted his weight from one foot to the other but Levi spoke bluntly.
"We've already tested that too." Eren hesitantly pulled down his collar to
reveal the highest of many bite marks left on his skin from their coupling only
a short while earlier in bed. "Nothing happened. Well," Levi smirked slightly.
"He didn't change into a titan, at least."
 
Hanji gaped. "And you kept all this from me?! Oh, there's so much more we can
test!" zhe turned to begin digging through zher pile of notebooks, muttering
under zher breath. "I remember once seeing two titans who died side by side,
and watching them move closer to each other before they deteriorated. It made
me wonder if titans might make connections or find a mate..."
 
A mate. It was a scary and exciting concept all at once. Eren was still looking
down at him, looking similarly intrigued and nervous. How could they commit
themselves to this relationship when they knew how likely it was that they
could die in the next battle? Even if they survived, there would be countless
other battles to come, and they could only be so skilled and lucky. And yet
Levi wasn't willing to give this up, whatever it was.
 
"We'll fight and protect each other," Levi promised Eren, hand on his narrow
hip. "We'll make it work. We're both too stubborn to give in just because
something won't be easy."
 
"Absolutely," Eren grinned and hooked a hand on the back of Levi's neck.
 
They met halfway for the kiss, holding each other close as their lips locked.
Hanji made an excited squawking noise. "Fuck, slow down! I need to document all
this!" Eren and Levi both chuckled but otherwise ignored zher as they leaned
into a deeper kiss.
End Notes
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