Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/80983.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_Rowling
  Relationship:
      James_Potter/James_Potter
  Character:
      James_Potter, Sirius_Black, Remus_Lupin, Peter_Pettigrew
  Stats:
      Published: 2010-04-17 Words: 1968
****** James Potter's Earth Logic ******
by Nimori
Summary
     James has questions. James has answers. Then they have sex.
"Potter!" McGonagall's voice cut through the excited chatter that rose in the
wake of the smoke.
It wasn't often James miscast a spell, and when he did it was grand
entertainment (and usually caused by Sirius throwing things), but even the
Marauders had to admit James had outdone himself that day. Sirius was
applauding, Remus was shaking his head -- thereby concealing a grin with his
hair -- and Peter had dropped all his half-transfigured thumbtacks on the floor
to stare in open-mouthed wonder.
James tried not to preen too obviously, and gave himself a hand up.
"Thanks," said the other him.
"Don't mention it," he answered himself, and they both bowed to Sirius, who had
begun shouting "Encore!"
"Back to work, Black," McGonagall said. "And Potter, to the hospital wing at
once, both of you, and ask Madam Pomfrey to put you back together."
"Aye aye, ma capitaine!" James saluted and followed himself out.
"Have to remember how we did that," one of him said once they were in the
corridor.
"Excellent skiving mechanism." They both stuffed their hands in their pockets
as they ambled towards the hospital wing. "And the class needed some excitement
anyway. Thumbtacks to cockroaches, really! First year stuff."
"I agree, old bean. Say--" He stuck out an arm to halt the other him, but he'd
already stopped. They grinned at each other. "No hurry."
"'At once' is such a subjective term."
They had a bit of a fight over which had to return to class, but James won in
the end, and spent a productive afternoon hexing the Slytherin house point
counter to spew slime over passing members of its house, while James sat in
History of Magic and threw things at Sirius.
*****
None of their mates fell for the trick they planned in the common room after
dinner; the Marauders seemed to take it for granted that James hadn't gone to
the hospital wing as ordered.
Sirius dragged them all upstairs, salivating at the dozen pranks he had
envisioned all afternoon while dodging the Every-Flavour Beans James flicked at
him, and both of James remembered why they loved Sirius so much.
"Have to give McG some time to forget about it before it's really useful, but
Prongs!" Sirius grabbed the first one of him through the door and twirled him
around. "Oh, Prongs, this is going to be fantastic, and we are going to make
Filch's poor little head explode, and he won't know who's coming or going.
Flawless alibis! Do you know how long I've dreamed of this? Prongs, tell me you
remember how you did it, Prongs, tell me--"
The Jameses laughed, and one of him held Sirius down to keep him from
hyperventilating.
"I," the other of him announced, "have a plan."
"Of course you do," Remus said, and put away his books for later.
They had him well trained.
*****
By the time James had finished scrubbing off the last of the dungbomb Peter
had, upon forgetting there were five of them now, whipped at his head, the
other him had taken over their bed as well as their favourite pair of pyjamas.
He donned the second-favourite, and elbowed his own long limbs out of the way,
already planning tomorrow's pranks.
It wasn't until he had snuggled in close in the narrow bed that it occurred to
him to find the tight fit -- and his lack of objection to it -- awkward. He
wondered if this was how Fabian and Gideon felt all the time. He'd always
wanted a brother. A twin would have been perfect, but an ordinary little
brother would do (he'd seen Sirius with Regulus and didn't think anyone in
their right mind would want an older brother). Two of himself was better than
twins even, or so he imagined, having no comparison.
"Hey," one of him whispered.
"'S for horses."
"Bugger off. Remember last month? The magazine we found in Snivelly's trunk?"
They cast a simultaneous silencing charm, and one of him sat up.
"Yeah?"
"Well." The other licked his lip.
"Good thinking!"
"No better time to find out."
"Can't trust Sirius with something like this."
"'Course not! He'd never tell--"
"But he'd never let us forget, the bastard."
"And wanking's no good for finding out, not even with, you know, fingers."
James nodded, completely in agreement with himself. "No different than tossing
off, even with fingers. It's not all..."
They looked at each other. Hard muscles and sharp angles and flat chests, they
wanted to say, but they already knew. This was the only safe way to try it, the
only way to find out for sure if all those things in the magazine and the way
they made him feel meant he was... that. Like Snivellus.
The thought was too much to bear, and one of him quirked his lips.
"Oh James, take me now, you sexy beast!"
They both cracked up, but it made them squirm all the same, and there really
wasn't room for squirming in their bed. One James turned a bit, so the
squirming was at least productive, and the other thought "To hell with it," and
kissed himself.
After a few seconds, they broke apart, and one James looked at the other with
dismay. "We need to work on that."
"Yeah."
"Practice a bit?"
"Okay."
They kissed again, and after several minutes of constructive criticism, worked
out a much better technique.
"Wow," James said, resting his head on an arm. "Evans won't be able to resist
us."
"No wonder she hexed us last time we kissed her."
James felt he ought to point out that their last kiss with Evans had been the
result of a trick, and that was probably why she'd gone for her wand. The other
him had started poking around inside his pyjama bottoms though, so he left off.
James's hand wasn't scary like Felicia's, with its long red nails, or Gwen with
her numerous rings. He could trust himself not to pull too hard, or bring him
to the edge and back out. He rumbled a happy noise, and grinned to hear an
answering rumble from the chest under his ear.
The other James pulled out his cock with his free hand, and James took the
hint. The narrow bed left them little room, and they bumped together, at first
by accident and then on purpose as one of him rubbed the heads together.
It felt far too good, and anxiety broke through the pleasure. Would he still
like Evans after? Or would the part of him that might be that take over and
squash the way he felt about her?
Privately, he could admit that might be less hazardous to his health. Evans was
a fast draw with the wand.
"How should we do this?" James's voice was rough, and he liked it.
Still... "I'm not taking it like a girl."
"Of course not. How about you on top, with me in you?"
Neither could see anything wrong with that. Experimentation with fingers had
taught him hand lotion had more than two uses, so one of him retrieved the
mostly empty bottle from under the mattress and slicked up his cock. The other
James crawled on top, straddling his midsection. It didn't matter what went
where, because it all belonged to him. If only all sex could be so simple!
"Ready?" James asked, hands on James's hips.
"Yeah." He sank down, just a bit, and squirmed at the odd sensation. James
tugged him closer, and the sensation made up its mind to be pain.
"Ow," said one of him.
"Does it hurt?" asked the other. "'Cause it's brilliant from this end. Go down
a little more?"
"No. Let me think." James leaned forward, slipping free. The other him pouted,
and took hold of his cock to rub it against James's hole -- just as a reminder.
"I think the finger thing first would help."
"Brilliant," James said, and slipped his fingers inside.
James sucked in a sharp breath. It felt very different to not be controlling
the movements, and despite himself he leaned ever farther forward, until they
were chest-to-chest, and pushed his arse back. His own clever fingers found
that little spot he'd become addicted to over the last month and teased it
until he thought he'd spill between their bellies. He bit his lip.
James watched his face enviously. "We'd better remember everything when Pomfrey
puts us back together."
"I'm sure we will." He sat up. "All right, I think I'm ready."
James removed his fingers at once and poised his cock once more. "I'll let you
do it," he said, feeling himself quite generous. The other him eased himself
onto his cock. After a bout of swearing and a mild course correction, the wet
heat of his own body enveloped him.
Fucking brilliant, they both thought.
One of him gave an experimental wriggle and the other gasped, and forget
pranks, everyone should have two of themselves.
He wriggled again, and that melted into rocking, and then thrusting, one of him
squeezing his thighs while the other clutched the headboard with one hand and
stroked his prick with the other. The stinging pain grew, but so did the
pleasure and excitement and the formless urge to just fuck, and fuck hard.
One of him, the one on top, let go of his cock to gain more leverage, and James
took over without a word. He could feel the explosion about to happen, drawing
closer with every downstroke of the other him's hips, a hot vise milking him.
"Can't last," he gasped, his strokes faltering. His eyes rolled back under his
fluttering lashes and everything went suddenly slicker. James slammed his arse
down hard and took over fisting his prick while the other him voiced an
appalling series of groans, moans, and whimpers.
He didn't sound like that when he came, did he?
He forgot about embarrassing noises as his nerves took fire. No return now. He
clenched his cheeks to hold on to the fading feel of hardness inside him, his
hand a blur from the wrist on, and cried out as long strings of pearly come
shot out over James's chest.
He dropped forward, hands on the bed to hold himself up, panting. The other him
put his hands on his thighs, stroking, comforting.
One of him laughed, a breathless half-laugh, and they grinned at each other,
feeling closer than they had when they'd been one person, which was silly.
He lay down beside himself. He didn't care if they got stuck together when the
come dried.
"So. D'you think...?" one of him asked.
The other considered. "Prob'ly just narcissism," he said after a moment.
"Yeah. We're not... that. We're just irresistible."
"Even to ourselves."
"So why doesn't Evans like us then?" It felt odd to be talking about Evans
after having sex with... not someone else, precisely, but having sex with not-
her.
"Oh, she likes us. She just doesn't want to admit it because then she'd have to
admit to being wrong."
A pause, and then, because they were both thinking it, "Reckon she'd be up for
a threesome?"
They considered the possibility, and decided that while Evans would not be up
for it, the warm glow they each got from the idea meant they still loved her,
so they were definitely not that.
Except they were both a little hard again, and James knew he wouldn't turn
himself down if he suggested another go.
"James? D'you think it's possible to be both?"
"What, bent and straight at the same time?"
"Yeah." Stupid idea.
"I reckon not, or everyone would be. Who'd turn down sex that good?"
There was some point of logic eluding them, he felt, but his lips wrapped
around his cock and he decided logic could go hang.
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