Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1774543. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: Multi Fandom: Dragon_Age:_Origins, Dragon_Age:_Origins_-_Awakening Relationship: Female_Cousland/Carver_Hawke/Nathaniel_Howe, Female_Cousland/Carver Hawke, Female_Cousland/Nathaniel_Howe, Carver_Hawke/Nathaniel_Howe Character: Megan_Cousland, Nathaniel_Howe, Carver_Hawke, Sigrun_(Dragon_Age), Anders (Dragon_Age) Additional Tags: Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Alternate_Universe_-_Teenagers, Teen Romance, First_Time, Threesome_-_F/M/M, Awkward_Romance Series: Part 4 of Dragon_Age_-_series_10_(all_the_AUs:_Megan/Nate/Carver) Stats: Published: 2014-06-13 Completed: 2014-06-21 Chapters: 12/12 Words: 26584 ****** It's Complicated ****** by Hot_elf Summary 17-year old Megan Cousland is sure she's falling in love with her good friend, Nate Howe, when a new boy shows up at her school. Carver Hawke is cute and sexy, and Megan soon realizes she will have to decide between the two guys... or will she? Chapter 5, High School, from the AU challenge, turned into a complete story. Notes See the end of the work for notes ***** The New Guy ***** Chapter 1 – The New Guy Megan leaned back in her chair, hiding her bored yawn behind her hand. History of Ferelden was definitely her least favourite subject. Listening to old Mac Tir droning on and on about kings and teyrns and landsmeets was just about the most boring thing she could imagine. Right now, he was a little more animated than usual, pontificating about some battle or other – White River? River Dane? She always got those mixed up. Either way, he was getting really worked up about it. You'd almost think he'd been there in person. Nate flashed her a grin from his seat over by the window, taking advantage of the old man's turned back to launch a small paper airplane in her direction. She caught it, grinning back, and swiftly hid it under her desk. Velanna rolled her eyes at their antics, then went back to doodling plants in the margins of her book. Anders stifled a laugh, then put on his most serious face as Mac Tir glared in his direction. Just another day at Vigil's Keep. They had done better than most schools in Ferelden in last year's finals, but she was glad to see that the students were as normal as they got. Carefully, Megan unfolded the paper, squinting to decipher Nate's spidery handwriting. Just three words: Study group tonight?Their code for a night out on the town. Megan felt a happy tingle spread in her belly. They'd done this several times now. As soon as her parents were asleep, she'd snuck out through a window and he'd taken her to the city on his motorbike to party the night away. Closing her eyes for a moment, she recalled their last jaunt, three days ago, to a small club near the harbour. They had danced for hours: Nate's long lean body hot against hers; his lips brushing against her neck; his hoarse voice whispering in her ear. He'd kissed her when they’d got back, in the hidden corner behind the garage, a long, skilful kiss that had left her hungry for more. Nate knew what he was doing. He was a few years older than her, having spent several years over in the Free Marches with his father, after his parents' divorce. On his return two years ago, Headmaster Varel had considered his education too patchy to group him in with the other students his age, so he'd ended up in Megan's class instead. They'd become fast friends immediately, always up to some mischief or other. Only now, it seemed they were well on their way to becoming more than friends… The ringing of the bell saved them from yet another analysis of King Maric's strategic shortcomings. Maths would be next, with Mrs Woolsey. Another old bore. Really, if it weren't for Mr Garevel who taught Geography, the place might as well be a retirement home. "See you at lunch?" Sigrun nudged her from behind, a bright smile on her pretty little face. "I'm dying to hear more about your latest little adventure." "Shhh." Megan put a finger to her lips, tilting her head slightly in Habren's direction. She couldn't risk her overhearing anything. The arrogant brunette was a teacher's pet, and would gladly seize any opportunity to get into the Headmaster's good graces, even if it meant tattling on Megan. Especially if it meant getting Megan in trouble, in fact. And, if Varel told her parents about this, there'd be no more outings with Nate. "Oh, right." Sigrun nodded. "Well, I have Science with Glavonak in Period Four, over in the new wing, so I might be a little late. Will you save me a seat?" Megan nodded, slightly preoccupied by the fact that Mrs Woolsey hadn't shown up yet although it was nearly five minutes into the lesson. This was not like the old bat at all. Just then, the door opened and their teacher walked in, followed by the Headmaster and a tall, dark-haired boy. Quickly, they all jumped up and chorused their good mornings. "Sit down, everyone." Varel's lined face bore a stern expression. "I'd like to introduce you to a new student. Carver Hawke, just recently arrived from Kirkwall." Megan eyed the new arrival with interest. He was tall and heavily built. Probably into sports. Quite cute in a way, though it was hard to tell with the sulky look on his face. Thick black hair, pretty brown eyes with long lashes, tanned skin… Yup, cute. And, from Kirkwall… She tried to recall what she knew about the city on the other side of the Waking Sea, but it wasn't much. Did they even speak Fereldan? Mrs Woolsey looked less than happy at the prospect of having another student to deal with. "Welcome, Carver. Take a seat. Over there, with Megan." Megan sighed inwardly as she gathered her belongings closer, making room for him. She'd rather enjoyed having a whole desk to herself. On the bright side, she'd be the first to get to know the guy from Kirkwall better. Habren was already turning green with envy, whispering furiously into Leliana's ear. As soon as the Headmaster had left and Mrs Woolsey's back was turned, Megan mouthed a silent "Hey there" at the new boy. He nodded stiffly at her, but didn't respond. Ah, well. She would wait until break time. Carver's hands were shaking slightly as he unpacked his belongings but, when the teacher asked a question, he answered correctly, if a little hesitantly. Mrs Woolsey raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "Well, it seems they did at least teach you the basics over in Kirkwall. That's a relief." Nate caught Megan's gaze, rolling his eyes skyward in an exaggerated grimace that made her stifle a giggle. "Anything you'd like to add, Megan?" Mrs Woolsey's voice was cool and crisp. "Nothing, miss." Megan bit her lip, putting on her most virtuous face. For the rest of the lesson, she did her best to focus on maths. Their final exams weren't all that far away, and Megan intended to do well on them. Fun- loving and cheerful she might be, but she was by no means brainless. Still, the lesson seemed to take ages today. When the bell finally rang, Carver wasn't eager to talk, digging through his satchel with single-minded concentration as if it was the most interesting object in the world. But, she didn't let that put her off. "Hey. I'm Megan." "I heard." His voice was surprisingly deep but, boy, he really wasn't much of a talker, was he? She wasn't about to give up so easily, though. "Why did you transfer in the middle of the year? Couldn't you have finished school in Kirkwall?" "I… There was an incident at the Gallows. At my old school. I had to leave." His face closed up even further. "Listen, are you always so curious?" She shrugged. "You're a new face. Everyone will have a million questions. You might as well get it out of the way." "Leave him alone, Meg." Nate had come over, slinging his satchel over his shoulder, a frown on his face. "Come on. We need to get our study group organized." Megan got up with a dramatic sigh. "All right. But, trust me…" Turning back, she winked cheekily at Carver. "You'll wish you'd put up with me as soon as Habren gets her claws into you." =============================================================================== Megan dropped onto her bed with a heartfelt sigh of boredom. It was Friday night, and her parents were having guests for dinner. She could hear them laughing and talking down there, their voices slightly slurred from the wine. Megan had made the requisite appearance at the dinner table, smiling and nodding politely, and had excused herself as soon as she could, claiming school work. "On a Friday night?" Old Mr Guerrin had shaken his head with a sigh. "Really, you young people are far too serious these days. I remember when I was younger..." Her mother had intervened at that point, fortunately, and spared her from listening to his recollections. Megan yawned, stretching lazily and glancing at her alarm clock. Half past ten. Far too early to go to sleep, though she was still knackered from last night. She smiled dreamily as she recalled the past evening. This time, when Nate had kissed her goodbye, he'd been more insistent, his hand sneaking up under her t- shirt and bra to play with her breasts. Experimentally, she rolled one of her nipples between her own fingers, the way he had done, and felt it harden under her touch. Oh yes. They hadn't gone any further, though she had felt him against her stomach, hard in his jeans. Maybe next time- On impulse, she rolled over on her stomach and reached for her mobile, quickly typing in the first letters of his name, then waiting impatiently for him to answer. She'd almost given up when he did, sounding rough and slightly breathless. "Meg? What's the matter?" "Nothing, really. Just wanted to talk to you." She smiled to herself. "Were you asleep?" "No, not asleep." There was a funny catch to his voice. "Just... thinking of you." Oh, I see. Megan felt a grin tugging at her lips. "And what exactly were you doing while you were... thinking of me?" He laughed, but he was obviously embarrassed. "I think you can guess." "Mmmhmmm." Megan rolled on her back again, staring at the ceiling. This had definite potential. "Do you always think of me when you do that?" She heard his sharp intake of breath. "Meg..." "Do you?" She put a hint of teasing in her voice, but when he answered he sounded dead serious. "Always. Only you. Do you... Do you mind?" She closed her eyes, surprised at the sudden rush of heat between her legs. "No, it's... rather flattering, in a way. And hot," she added on impulse. "You think?" There was a new quality to his voice, something hoarse and urgent, and she smiled to herself. "Nate?" "What is it?" "Did you stop when I called?" She tried to imagine him, on his bed in his room; tried to imagine the expression on his face at her words. "Yeah, sure." He sounded embarrassed again. "Had to find my phone." "Do you want to finish?" She hardly trusted her voice, but it was worth the effort for his reaction. "Do I- Maker, Megan, you're crazy." "Please." She gathered her courage. "I want to hear you." He responded with an oddly strangled noise, but then she heard some rustling and he was back. "All right. I'm here, with you." "And where's your hand?" Megan felt a hot rush of excitement when he moaned in response. "Tell me." "Damn it, Megan." His breathing sounded laboured. "I can't-" "Tell me." She let her voice drop to a soft purr. "I want to be able to picture you." A quick gasp answered her. "Meg!" "Your hand," she reminded him. "You know where," he gasped. "And I wish it was yours. I wish you were here with me, touching me, kissing me, oh fuck, I-" He fell silent with a suddenness that made her shiver. "Nate?" Instinctively, she pressed her thighs together. "Are you- Did you-?" "You bet." He sounded different, relaxed and lazy. "You are completely crazy, Meg." "Thanks." She smiled, forgetting he couldn't see her. "That was hot." "Maker, yes." He hesitated. "What about you?" "I'll be fine." Megan felt a sudden blush heat up her cheeks at the thought that he might want her to reciprocate but, fortunately, he didn't push her. "You sure?" When she didn't answer, he sighed. "All right. More fodder for my fantasies. Say, Meg?" "What?" "What are you doing tomorrow?" She raised an eyebrow. "Nothing much. Tomorrow's Saturday." "I know." He sounded rough again. "I just... I don't think I can wait till Monday until I see you again. Maybe you could pop over in the afternoon?" His voice trailed off. Megan hesitated. Nate had recently moved into his own apartment, after a run-in with his mother. She hadn't seen the place yet, just listened to his enthusiastic descriptions, and she was curious to see it. But, still… whenever she'd been at his place before, his mom had always been around, somewhere in the background. Megan was pretty sure her mother wouldn't approve of her going and, while Sigrun would cover for her, she felt a tad apprehensive herself. If he expected- "We don't have to do anything." He interrupted her thoughts. "Just hang out, maybe kiss a little." He swallowed audibly. "I promise I won't do anything you don't want to." Megan rather doubted they would stop at kissing - alone and undisturbed in a room with a proper bed. Suddenly, she couldn't wait. "It's fine." She smiled at his relieved exhale. "I'll be over at three, okay?" "Okay. See you then." "See you." Megan ended the call and sank back into the cushions with a sigh that quickly turned into a yawn. Better catch some sleep. Just as soon as she'd taken care of that insistent throbbing between her legs...   ***** More Than Just Friends ***** Chapter 2 – More Than Just Friends The next morning, Megan ran into Carver at the supermarket, where her mother had dragged her to help with the shopping. Her first impulse was to hide the box of tampons in her basket, but then she decided against it. Let him see. He completely overlooked it, though, just smiled at her shyly and reached up to brush a lock of hair from his forehead. She'd noticed it before, that one thick black strand that seemed to bother him. "Megan. Hey. What are you doing here?" He blushed. "Sorry, stupid question. I was just surprised to see you." Megan grinned. "Good surprised or bad surprised?" "Huh?" He seemed confused for a moment, but then he found his voice again. "Good. Definitely good." Maker, his eyes were really lovely. Soft and warm and brown, with lashes any girl would kill for. Megan swallowed. "Right. I'll see you at school then. On Monday." He nodded. "Yeah. Monday." He'd already turned to go when an idea seemed to occur to him. "Are you doing anything this afternoon?" She felt an odd rush of disappointment. "Yeah, I'm going over to Sigrun's place. Why?" "Oh, nothing special. Just thought I'd check out the pool. But, if you're busy..." Megan swallowed. The thought of hanging out at the pool with Carver was more than a little tempting. Just imagine him in nothing but a pair of boxers... She could actually see his stomach ripple through the thin t-shirt he was wearing. "Some other time perhaps." Her voice sounded strange to herself. He nodded and turned to go, seeming dejected. "Carver!" When he raised a questioning eyebrow, she quickly went on. "I mean it. I'd love to hang out with you some time." "Oh. Good." He flashed her a quick smile, then he was gone. "Who was that boy?" Her mother's sharp eyes had missed nothing, as usual. "Carver Hawke. He's new. From Kirkwall," she added, when her mother raised an eyebrow. Why did parents always have to know everything? "Hawke…" Her mother sounded thoughtful. "I think I met his mother at the chantry ladies' meeting last night. Leandra Hawke. A very sweet woman, widowed unfortunately. The boy seems nice, too." She shook her head. "Ah, well. I'll see you at the checkout." As soon as she'd turned a corner, Megan leaned against the shelf with an exasperated sigh, closing her eyes. Damn it, Meg, what are you doing? This afternoon she'd see Nate, and they would probably... Whatever they would end up doing, he was obviously in love with her, and she really, really liked him, so what had possessed her to flirt with Carver? She sighed and headed for the checkout. Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated? =============================================================================== When Nate opened the door, wearing a black shirt and his customary tight jeans, his hair tied back in a ponytail, her heart beat faster. At the same time, she wasn't quite sure how to act. The memory of last night made her cheeks heat up. "Hey." He smiled. "Come in. Do you want a tour?" "Yeah, sure." It was a relief to have something else to talk about. The apartment was nice, not spectacular, but not shabby either: two rooms, a bathroom, a kitchen. Nate had mentioned that he had money from his dad to help with the rent. Either way, Rendon Howe was a successful businessman, and probably paid a tidy sum in child support. The living room contained a large couch, a TV with a gaming console, and two bookshelves stuffed full of fantasy and sci-fi books. A large photo album with the word "Ansburg" written on the cover was stuffed in next to the books, and Megan took it out, suddenly curious. Nate came over and watched over her shoulder as she leafed through it, his body warm and close behind her. There were a lot of pictures of Nate and his father, with a boy and a girl she'd never seen before. When she asked, he smiled fondly. "Tom and Delilah. My brother and sister, from Dad's second marriage." "Do you miss them?" Megan was surprised. He'd never mentioned his siblings. "Sometimes." He shrugged. "Look, that's me at thirteen." He made a face. "So glad to be back here. Amaranthine might not be much but, compared to the Free Marches… Come on. You haven't seen the other room yet." His bedroom. Megan swallowed as she followed him over the threshold. No big surprises there. The familiar furniture from his old room, a nice big bed, a desk, a wardrobe, all made from plain dark wood. Some posters on the wall, of his favourite bands and stars. The only thing that made her stop was the object hung from a peg on the wall. "Is that a bow?" She tilted her head at him, regarding him through narrowed eyes. "I've never seen it before." "I found it in the attic, when I packed my things. Why are you looking at me like that?" He grinned. "Just trying to imagine you with it." Megan grinned back. "Do you know how to use it?" "You bet I do." He took the bow from the wall and gracefully fell into an archer's stance, pulling back the string. "The archery club was about the only interesting thing going on in Ansburg. I was good." I'm sure you were. Megan felt her throat go dry at the sight of him, his lean body all poised and tense. "And ever so modest," was all she said aloud. "Of course." He put the bow away and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Come here." Pulling her onto his lap, he stroked along her cheek with his thumb and fixed her with his clear, grey eyes. "About last night…" She tried to look away, but he took hold of her chin and made her face him. "Hey, you're not getting embarrassed now, are you?" She made a non-committal noise and he chuckled briefly, then grew serious again. "Meg, that was… hot. Incredibly hot." His lips brushed against hers. "You're amazing." And then he kissed her in earnest, and she completely lost herself in his taste, the feel of his lips against hers, the scent of his hair, the low, needy sounds he made. When he let go, with a quick nip at her lower lip, she struggled for breath. "How come you're such a good kisser?" She tried to keep her tone light, but she was really curious. All the other boys she'd gone out with had been a complete disappointment. Either shy and clumsy like Gil or vain and greedy like Dairren. Until Nate had first kissed her, she could have completely done without the experience. "Am I?" He sounded amused, but it was obvious the thought pleased him. "Remember last summer when my dad took me on that long vacation to Rivain?" Of course she remembered. He'd been gone for six whole weeks, and she'd almost died of boredom without him. He ran his hand lightly down her spine, making her shiver. "There was this girl… She was a bit older than me, and she had just broken up with her boyfriend. She was bored, I think." "Did you…" Megan bit her lip. "Did you sleep with her?" "Eventually." Nate laughed softly. "She made me work for it, though." "What do you mean?" Megan wasn't sure she liked the implications behind his words, and it must have shown on her face, because Nate quickly grew serious again. "I'm sorry. That was a dumb thing to say. What I meant is… She made sure I knew how to make her happy first." He placed another light kiss on her lips. Megan wiggled a little on his lap, gasping when he responded by grinding his hips into her and she felt him again. "Think you can make me happy, too?" "I don't know. But, I can try." His eyes looked much darker now, and his hand tightened on her back. Instead of an answer, she kissed him back, moaning into his mouth when he grabbed her by the neck and deepened the kiss. "Tell me if you want me to stop." His hands slid up under her shirt, pushing it gently upward. "Okay?" He waited patiently for her nod before he pulled it over her head. She had put on her prettiest bra, a simple white one with grey lace trimming, and, when he saw it, he took a deep breath and then ran a finger along the fabric, all the way back until he reached the clasp. Again, he waited until she nodded before he undid it. When her breasts were bare, he stopped for a heartbeat, staring at them almost in awe. Megan giggled. "You okay?" He closed his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, it's just… Damn it Megan, you have no idea." He covered both her breasts with his hands, hissing sharply when her nipples grew hard under his touch. But, he remained careful and gentle, his touch almost tentative, and she relaxed a bit until he leaned down and took one rosy bud between his lips. "Nate!" His tongue was swirling around her taut flesh, then he was sucking softly, and it was incredibly intense, like a steady pull all the way down to her core, as if there was an invisible connection she'd never been aware of. She wanted to see and feel more of him though, so she began tugging at the hem of his shirt. He took the hint and quickly got rid of it. Megan took a deep breath, trying to steady her shaking hands by running them over his chest. She had seen him without a shirt before, of course, when they were at the pool or when he changed after a game, but this was different, far more intimate. And, touching him added a whole new dimension. His skin was smooth, with just a few stray hairs around his hard, flat nipples. He was wiry, not particularly muscular, but with wide shoulders, and she liked that, liked the way his chest tapered down into slim hips. She loved the black trail of hair running down his belly, too, and she couldn't resist tracing it down to the waistband of his jeans. He followed her hand with his gaze and, when he looked up again, he took her hand and firmly pressed it to his crotch. Megan's head was spinning. She could feel all of him like this, hard and eager, straining against the fabric. Curiosity got the better of her and she reached for his buttons, still nervous, but determined to see more of him. Nate seemed delighted with her initiative, helping her to open his fly and push his jeans and underwear further down. When he made a move to get up and pull them off completely, she stopped him though. "Not yet." He complied and she hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. "Nate?" He took her hand again. "Touch me." Megan was horribly nervous as her fingers closed around him. His skin was warm and felt taut, but she had no idea what to do. "Shit, I feel like such an idiot." "Shhh." He stroked her cheek again, then made her look down at her hand. "Stop worrying. See? You're perfect." She shook her head. "Show me." Nate tensed, but he did as she asked, wrapping his hand around hers and showing her how to move her hand, up and down in a steady rhythm. "Yes, that's it." His eyes were half-closed and he was breathing faster. "Keep that up if you can." He pulled away his hand and let her proceed. It wasn't easy. Megan felt clumsy and stupid, but his reaction seemed to indicate that she was doing something right. His groans got louder as she kept going, and he was obviously having a hard time keeping his hips still. And then, suddenly and without warning, he went taut all over, burying his face in her neck, and she felt something hot and wet on her hand. "Meg." He was still breathing hard. "Thank you." Reaching for a box of tissues, he cleaned himself up quickly, then handed her another one to wipe off her hands. She blushed again. "What now?" "Your turn." He reached for the zipper of her pants and slowly slid it down. Megan tensed for a moment. Was she really ready for this? And would he remember his promise and stop if she asked him to? As if he'd heard her thoughts, he paused what he was doing. "Do you want me to stop?" "No. Don't." She pulled him in for another kiss. He felt wonderful all along her naked upper body, hard and hot, and she wanted to cling to him, to never let go of him. But, he pulled back a little and got to work on her jeans again. When they slid down over her hips, Megan felt terribly exposed, even though she was still wearing her panties. "Relax." His voice sounded soft and warm. "Can I touch you?" She made a small affirmative noise. Very slowly, he worked his fingers under the waistband of her panties, careful to keep his touch light. "Okay?" His voice was barely a whisper. She nodded, not trusting her voice. And then his thumb found the perfect spot and she moaned, pressing herself into his touch. His breath hitched, and he kept up his caresses, focussing on that point now, and it felt so incredibly good. Another finger worked its way even deeper, sliding inside her with ease because she was wet and open for him, and that, too, felt wonderful. Part of her was embarrassed about the noises she was making. Her whole world was reduced to what he was doing to her, so much better than anything she had ever expected, so sweet, so intense. He kept going, stroking her until she was taut as a rope, then pushed his finger deep inside her and found another sensitive spot, sending her straight over the edge. It was the real thing, just like in the books, with fireworks exploding behind her eyes, every nerve in her body tingling with pleasure, and, yes, she actually cried out because it felt so good. "Wow." She was blushing again, embarrassed because she had let herself get carried away like that. But, there was nothing but sincere adoration in Nate's eyes. "Meg. You're incredible." She smiled shyly back. "You're not so bad yourself." It was nice to be held by him, she thought, nice to feel his body against hers, but… "Nate? Is this okay with you?" He stretched out beside her, trailing a finger along her collarbone. "You mean, do I want more?" He hesitated. "I do want to sleep with you. I'd be lying if I said no." There was so much passion in his voice that she shivered all over, and his face softened. "But, not before you're ready. As soon as you want, Meg, okay?" Megan nodded, huddling up against his chest. She felt safe with Nate. Always. ***** Complications ***** Chapter 3 - Complications It was almost six by the time Megan got home. She'd intended to sneak past the kitchen door, up to her room, to dream for a little while: to re-live the afternoon; Nate's hands on her body; the way he'd shuddered under her touch. But, the moment she opened the door, she heard her mother's voice, sharp and strident. "Megan. There you are." Shit. What on- "Where have you been?" Eleanor Cousland looked agitated, her face flushed with anger. "And don't bother lying to me again. I swung by Sigrun's house on the way, because I wanted to save you the ride home. She refused to tell me where you were." Megan almost smiled. Sigrun. The best friend a girl could ask for.But, she knew she'd have to tread carefully now. "I changed my plans. I was with someone else." Her mother inhaled sharply. "And you didn't see fit to inform me about your change of plans? Probably because you were doing something I wouldn't approve of." Suddenly Megan felt tired of all this. I'm seventeen, for Andraste's sake! "I was with Nate, if you must know! I've no idea whether you approve of that or not, but I had a wonderful time." She felt close to tears, but her mother didn't even notice. "Nate Howe? Mrs Howe's son? Didn't he move into his own apartment recently?" Oh great! Megan would have preferred to have kept that information to herself, but she had completely forgotten that Nate's mother was a frequent guest at the chantry charity lunches, too. Her mother was shaking her head in disbelief. "Do you mean to tell me the two of you were alone at his place? Sweet Maker, Megan! What exactly did you do?" She felt her lips tighten. "I'm not telling you what-" "Oh yes, you are." Her mother's face was grim. "I need to know whether we need to take precautions. I won't let you ruin your life." "Oh, for-" Megan desperately fought the urge to scream. "I didn't sleep with him, if that's what you're worried about." Her mother calmed down immediately, but she wasn't done talking. "Good. But, Megan… This has to end. I understand you're… curious, but you'd be wise to stick to boys your own age. Nate is almost twenty. He's not a boy anymore and he'll want more than you're ready to give, trust me on this." "You don't even know him!" Megan was shaking with anger. "No. But, I remember his father quite well." Mrs Cousland's mouth set in a thin line. "There was a reason poor Mrs Howe got a divorce. If Nate is anything like him-" "Why should he be?" Megan's eyes were filling with tears at the injustice of it all. "You can't punish him for whatever his father did." "I'm not punishing anyone. I'm just making sure you don't do something you'll regret later. I forbid you to see Nate Howe again outside school, Megan. Give me your phone, please." Megan couldn't believe her ears, but when she opened her mouth to protest, her mother shut her up with a decisive gesture. "Since you haven't been honest with me, there'll be no going out for you without my express permission, until I feel I can trust you again, you hear me?" She sighed. "Let's not tell your father. No need for him to get all worked up; it's not good for his heart. But, I'll be keeping a much closer eye on you in the future." =============================================================================== He'd been looking forward to Monday morning: to the smile on Megan's face, the slight blush in her cheeks, the sparkle in her eyes. But, when Nate walked into the classroom, shortly after the start of the lesson, she didn't meet his gaze. She looked pale and tense. Mrs Woolsey's scathing comment on his lateness hardly registered with him, as he was so busy trying to work out what could have happened. Maths was a double period, so he had to wait for almost two hours. As soon as the bell rang, he was on his feet and at her desk. "Meg-" She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Nate. I have to go." Carver briefly glanced her way before he got to his feet and left, obviously trying to give them space for talking. Decent of him. "Meg, please. What's going on?" Nate followed her to the door, fighting back a rising feeling of panic. "Meg!" She sighed and finally stopped, looking at him with a tired expression. "My mom found out. She told me to stay away from you." "So?" He shrugged. "We can always-" "No, you don't understand." Megan looked away again. "She was serious. She even took away my phone! Look, what do you want me to do, Nate? She's my mom, and I'm not eighteen yet. I can't just move out." "But, you can't just give up!" He took her arm, trying hard not to squeeze too tightly. "Nate, please let me go." She shook his hand off, but he grabbed her again. "Damn it, Meg, listen to me." He knew he sounded desperate, but he didn't care. "Let me go!" Once more she pushed him back, then swivelled around on her heel and walked away. He was about to follow her when Old Mac Tir's steely voice from the end of the corridor made him stop in his tracks. "Nathaniel! I believe Megan has made it abundantly clear that this conversation is over!" Impatiently, he shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir, but you don't understand-" "No, I don't. But, you see, it's not my job to understand students. It's my job to make sure they learn the rules of proper human interaction." The teacher's eyebrows pulled together in a disapproving frown. "And, if a girl tells you to leave her alone, that's what you do. No buts about it." "I-" Nate broke off, realizing that the old man was actually right. "I'm sorry, sir." "Tell her, not me." Mac Tir snorted contemptuously. "Though I doubt she will want to hear it." =============================================================================== "Hey, Megan." Carver had waited for her further down the hall. "You… you said you wanted to hang out together some time?" Her throat felt far too tight at the memory of Nate's expression, but she made herself nod. "Sure." "If you want…" He hesitated again. "I could come by and pick you up this afternoon. We could go to the pool or-" "Whatever. We'll think of something." Megan flashed him a perfunctory smile. "I'll have to check with my mom, but if she's okay with it… See you at three?" "Three." He nodded. "See you then." When Megan asked her mother's permission, she gave it with surprising ease, considering how angry she'd been the day before. She's probably happy I'm taking her advice to heart and dating a boy 'my age'. Or, maybe she was already regretting her sharp words. It was hard to tell. Carver showed up right on time, in clean, crisp jeans and a white t-shirt, and the sight of him was enough to make Megan's mouth water. There was a bright innocuous smile on his face as he greeted her mother. "Mrs Cousland. My mother sends her love. She's looking forward to next Friday night." "Thank you, Carver." Eleanor Cousland seemed delighted. "How very nice of your mother. What are the two of you planning on doing, Meg?" "We wanted to go to the pool." Megan reached for her bag with her swimsuit and towel. But, her mother shook her head, a worried frown on her forehead. "Really, sweetheart, I don't think that's a good idea. It's far too chilly for the pool." "Oh, Mom!" Really, this was going too far! "I'm not a baby. I can-" "It's okay, Mrs Cousland." Carver sounded perfectly calm and reasonable. "I was thinking we could go and play crazy golf instead." "What a lovely idea!" Megan could have puked at the sight of her mother's beaming face. Quickly, she ushered Carver out of the door. "Crazy golf? Are you mad?" she hissed at Carver. "I'm seventeen, not twelve!" "Oh, come on. It will be fun." The pleading look in his big brown eyes was hard to resist. "We can have ice cream, too." "All right," Megan sighed. At least her mom couldn't possibly object to this. =============================================================================== "How come you're so much better at this than I am?" Megan glanced sulkily at Carver who had just finished another hole in one smooth strike. "You really want to know?" He chuckled softly. "You're holding the club all wrong." "What do you mean all wrong?" She frowned. "It's not rocket science, is it?" Carver shrugged. "It does make a difference. My dad taught me. He was a pretty decent golf player." His face had darkened at his last words, and Megan remembered her mother's remark about Leandra Hawke being a widow. "I'm sorry about your dad." "Don't be." He shook himself briefly. "Well. Do you want me to show you?" When she nodded, he stepped behind her, placing his hands above hers, his wide shoulders completely framing her on both sides. "Look. Like this. Your thumbs should be here. Bend your knees a little." She did, feeling a pleasant shiver when she moulded her body against him. His arms were massive compared to her slim wrists, and his torso behind her was all hard planes and ripped muscle. "Maker, Carver, how much do you work out?" She couldn't quite keep the awe out of her voice. "Not all that much. Mostly, I swim." His thumb brushed against her pulse in a fleeting caress, but then he was all business again. "Right. Now lift your arms, but don't bend them at the elbow. Yes, exactly." Carver's lips were right next to her ear. "Take a deep breath, focus on where you want the ball to go and… hit it." The stroke was perfect, smooth and straight, no thanks to Megan's shaking hands. Her knees felt weak and her face hot. This was definitely not what she'd expected to happen on a kid-friendly outing like this. "See? That's how you do it." Carver's hand was still on hers, warm and firm, and she had to fight the impulse to grind herself back into him, right here on the course, in front of all the people. "Megan. Carver. What are you doing here? Want to play a round together?" Anders' voice tore her out of her trance. He was walking toward them, a bright smile on his face, and, behind him… Shit! The dark frown on Nate's features left no doubt that he had seen it all: seen her melt into Carver's arms, seen the expression on her face. "Hey." His voice was neutral, though, as he picked up their score cards, raising an eyebrow when he saw Carver's results. "Not bad, considering you don't know the course." "Not bad, eh?" Carver grinned. "I take it you can do better." Nate just shrugged, but Anders cut in with an apologetic smile. "Nate's really good. You two should have a match some time." "Why not today?" Nate's eyes were fixed on Carver's face. "I have plenty of time." "Well, I haven't." Megan felt decidedly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, Carver, but I clean forgot Sigrun is coming over tonight to help me with my maths homework. I really need to leave. Now." "Sure." Carver gathered the clubs with a shrug. "We can always come back some other time." He was quiet on their way back, and Megan was glad of it. Meeting Nate had shaken her up considerably, especially right on top of the feelings Carver's embrace had awoken in her earlier. What a mess! Carver came with her to the front door. "Bye, Megan. That was fun." He turned to walk down the path, and she hesitated only for a second. "Hey!" She called him back, admiring the way the muscles played in his back as he twisted around. "Don't I get a kiss?" For a moment, he looked surprised, but then he was back with two large strides, looming above her as he propped himself against the wall with his hands on each side of her head, not touching her, but so close she could feel his warmth. "Do you want one?" "I wouldn't say no." She smiled up at him, her tongue darting out to lick her lips. His eyes crinkled in a smile and he bent down, brushing his lips softly, teasingly, against hers, pulling back despite her obvious willingness. Then, his mouth was at her ear, his breath warm and sweet. "Your mother is watching. Next time." Another quick smile, and he was gone. Megan let herself into the house with a sigh. Damn tease. "Megan?" Her mother's voice, from the kitchen. She really must have been watching from the window. Now, she appeared in the doorway, a benevolent smile on her face. "Carver seems to be a really nice guy." Much better than the Howe boy. Megan could hear the words as clearly as if they had been spoken, and just barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Really, her mother was so clueless sometimes. At any rate, she was very much mistaken if she thought that Carver was less likely to deflower her precious little girl than Nate. She was pretty sure he knew exactly what he wanted. That night, as she fell asleep, her dreams were incredibly vivid. She was right here, in her own room, but Carver was behind her, embracing her like he had on the golf course, only this time they were both naked. And Nate was right before her, looking at her with a wicked smile. Carver felt so good behind her, warm and strong and firm, and then Nate pulled her close and his hand wandered up her thigh, and… She woke up, literally shaking with desire, and feeling too embarrassed for words. Sweet Andraste, Megan, get a grip on yourself. She really would have to make up her mind.   ***** Friends in Need ***** Chapter 4 – Friends in Need "I really don't know, Sigrun. They are so… different." Megan stared at the wall of her room, unable to hide her frustration. Sigrun had agreed to come over for a sleepover, since Megan was still effectively grounded for the evenings. Besides, it was high time to talk things over with someone who understood. "Well, you've kissed them both." Sigrun was unperturbed. "Who was better?" She grinned. "Or, in other words, which of the two is more exciting? Remember, you're seventeen. We're not talking about husband material here." Megan considered for a moment. The thing was… she couldn't tell. With Nate, it had been all gentle mutual exploration, no pressure, and she had liked it, very much so, in fact. Sure, he was her friend first and foremost, but she couldn't forget the way his skin had felt on hers, the expression on his face when she'd made him come, the taste of his lips. Carver, on the other hand… She knew next to nothing about him. But, whenever he touched her, there were sparks against her skin, and that brief, chaste kiss, together with his words, had sent her imagination into overdrive. "I can't tell. Shit, Sigrun, why do I have to decide?" She rolled onto her back, sighing in exasperation. Sigrun shrugged. "Well, you can't have them both. Unless they're really, really open-minded about it." "Sigrun!" Megan gasped, pretending to be shocked. The memory of her dream last night made her ears heat up. "Well, you never know." Her friend grinned widely. "I bet it would be hot." "Oh, shut up." Megan threw a pillow in her direction. "I wish it was so easy." =============================================================================== "Ladies and gentlemen, would you kindly calm down." Mrs Woolsey shook her head. "Look, I know you are excited about the upcoming trip, but maths is one of your most important subjects, and you only have six more weeks until your finals after you return from the Wending Wood. So, focus please!" Nate sighed. The whole class was abuzz with excitement right before their annual excursion to the Wending Wood nature reserve. It was one of the most popular destinations for schools, with its wealth of nature paths and Avvar relics, offering teaching opportunities for all subjects. The students tended to be more interested in the nightly activities and parties, of course. They would all sleep in cabins, in a former woodcutters' camp in the middle of the forest. And, they'd be gone for a whole week, leaving on Sunday afternoon and coming back on Friday night. Everyone was going. Everyone except Megan. She was sitting in her place, her face stony, her lips pressed tightly together. Her mother had forbidden her to go, Sigrun had told him in a whisper, because Megan "couldn't be relied on to behave responsibly." Nate cursed under his breath. He'd hoped for some alone time with her on this trip, a chance to sort things out. But, of course, her mother had made sure there would be no such opportunity. Megan looked utterly downcast and lonely, while everyone around her was making plans and discussing arrangements for the trip. He wished he could go over, talk to her, hug her, but, when he glanced her way, she looked in the other direction. It hurt. Still, when the time came to leave, he was just as excited as everyone else. The bus ride was uneventful, but it took a while to navigate the winding roads through the forest. When they arrived at the camp, the sun was already setting. The forest was beautiful at this time of the year, lush and green and full of life. It reminded Nate of the walks his father had taken with him, back when he'd been a kid, before his parents had separated. After dinner, Mr Garevel gathered them all around the campfire. "All right, you'll sleep three to a cabin. Get yourself sorted out." Most kids had already discussed their sleeping arrangements at home, so it didn't take long until only a few stragglers were left. Nate waited patiently, leaning against a tree trunk. He didn't really have any male friends in their class, except for Anders maybe. But, Anders had copped out at the last minute, citing his many allergies. Nate suspected he had other reasons, but Anders could be hard to read if he wanted to. When everyone else had set off for their cabins, Mr Garevel looked down at his list. "Well, that leaves the three of you. Carver Hawke, Nathaniel Howe, Alistair Theirin. Your cabin is number five." Nate nodded briefly at the two others and grabbed his bag. Carver. Well, that was a bit awkward, considering their little run-in at the golf course, but it couldn't be helped. He didn't really know Alistair all that well. The tall, blond guy with the goofy smile and the muscular build kept to himself most of the time, despite being active in most of the sports teams at school. He seemed to be shy, almost painfully so, and tended to mumble unintelligible stuff when asked a question. Of course, this meant that Carver was really the only one to talk to. The first three days went by in a flash. They went to see a pair of ancient Avvar statues that looked incredibly lifelike, listening with a pleasant shiver when their guide recounted the old barbarian legend of the two cursed brothers. And Velanna surprised them all by smiling for a whole day when they went looking for elfroot plants and prickleweed seeds in the southern part of the forest. To Nate's surprise, Carver stuck with him for most of the time. The new guy seemed to like him, and he turned out to be fun to hang out with. He didn't talk too much, but he wasn't boring either. And, he was easy on the eyes, too, Nate caught himself thinking guiltily when Carver climbed up a hill before him, his shirt riding up to expose a small strip of smooth, tanned skin as he reached for a handhold. He firmly told himself to stop that train of thought. Not that it was a new thing for him to be attracted to a guy. There'd been a boy at archery camp, more than three years ago, with bright blue eyes and a dazzling smile, and a few others since then. But, there was no reason to think Carver would return the feelings, and, besides, he wasn't over Megan yet, not really. Still, it was nice to have someone to talk to, someone who had read the same books and played the same games. Someone who liked the same music and laughed about the same jokes. It was really surprising how much they had in common. Maybe it's a Free Marches thing… Whatever the reason, by Wednesday night, Nate was actually grateful that Carver had ended up in his cabin. Alistair had been predictably quiet most of the time but, that night, as they were sitting on their bunk beds after dinner, he dug around in his bag and produced a small bag. "Do you want some?" "What's that?" Nate was only mildly interested, but Carver visibly stiffened. "Dust." Alistair grinned proudly. "Got it from a friend. Really good stuff, he said. I've always wanted to try it out." To Nate's surprise, Carver shook his head. "No, thanks." "Why not?" Alistair looked like a kicked puppy. "Don't you want to have a good time?" Carver sighed. "Look, you have to be careful with that stuff. There are lots of idiots out there who sell contaminated dust. I wouldn't risk it unless I knew exactly who it was coming from." He glanced at Nate. "Anyway, if you've never tried it, it may be a bit too much. Purple dust is pretty potent." He blushed, but refused to say more. Nate tried to recall what he knew about the drug. Purple dust. He knew a lot of people spiced up their party nights with it. It removed inhibitions and could lead to hallucinations. He'd also heard rumours that it made people horny, sometimes uncomfortably so. There'd been a story about a guy- "So, do you want some?" Alistair was smiling at him, a little nervously. Nate looked at Carver, who was waiting patiently, his arms crossed over his chest, and made up his mind. "No, mate. Sorry." Alistair shrugged, clearly hurt by the rejection. "Suit yourself." He stretched out on his bunk bed and reached for the powder. Carver snorted. "Come on, Nate. You don't want to be here when it first hits. Things might be awkward. Let's go for a walk." Nate nodded and followed Carver out into the balmy evening air. They didn't go far, just over to the laundry room where they got a soda from the vending machine. "Carver?" As they walked back, Nathaniel glanced over at the other boy, biting his lip. "How come you know so much about purple dust?" "Well, I had some friends who were into it, back in Kirkwall. And besides… You know I got expelled from the Gallows? My old school?" Carver laughed softly, sounding a little embarrassed, but not overly so. "Yeah. On the night of the Spring Dance, a few of us got our hands on some dust. The good stuff, mind you. We were curious, so we decided to have a private celebration in one of the empty classrooms." "Uh-oh." Nate flinched. This sounded exciting, but also risky. "Yeah." Carver's broad grin was visible even in the dim light. "We sure had fun. Until Mrs Meredith walked in. Our headmistress. She all but went through the roof. The others had less of a history than I had. Good boys, the lot of them, never been in trouble before. And, she caught us in… a bad moment. Anyway, most of the blame ended up with me, and I had to leave." "That must have been tough." Nate tried to sound sympathetic. "I'm sorry." "Don't be. It was a crappy school anyway." Carver shrugged. "What do you say? Should we check up on Ali? If we're lucky, he's out of it by now." Nate nodded and they made for their cabin. Carver went in first but, as soon as he crossed the threshold, he cried out, his voice full of genuine distress. "Alistair! Shit. Nate, go get the teachers. Run! And have them call an ambulance. Now!" Nate only caught a brief glance over Carver's shoulder, but what he saw made his stomach lurch. Alistair was writhing on the floor, his body wracked by cramps, his eyes rolled up so far only the whites showed. Carver was on his knees next to him, doing something Nate couldn't see. Shaking himself out of his trance, he turned and ran for Mr Garevel's cabin. It seemed like an eternity until the paramedics arrived. Mr Garevel had asked all the other students to stand back, but Carver had remained inside the whole time. When Alistair was finally carried out on a stretcher, quiet now, his face deathly pale, Nate rushed into the cabin to find the teacher and Carver sitting side by side on Alistair's empty bed. Mr Garevel's face looked tired and drained, but he smiled at Carver as he rose. "Thank you, Carver. That was some quick thinking. The paramedics said you may have saved his life. Well done!" Carver blushed, but he looked pleased. "Thank you, sir. I'm glad I could help." The teacher left with a nod at Nate. "Good night, boys. Get some sleep." When he left, there was a moment of awkward silence. "Are you okay?" Nate was surprised by how much he suddenly cared for Carver's well-being. "I'm fine." Carver flashed him a shy smile. "Alistair was in bad shape. But, they said he'd be okay." "Good." Nate hesitated. "I'm glad I listened to you." "Yeah." Carver's smile widened, and it took his breath away. "So am I." ***** What You Want ***** Chapter 5 – What You Want It took a while for the camp to settle down after Alistair's departure but, eventually, everyone went back to their cabins and the gossip died down. When Carver and Nate turned in for the night, they left the nightlight on by mute consent. They knew neither of them would be able to sleep yet. When Nate finally put his book away, yawning and stretching, he noticed Carver looking at him, a pensive frown on his face. "Say, Nate…" He hesitated. "What?" Nate sat up in his bunk bed, feeling suddenly restless. "You and Megan… How serious is it?" Of course. Nate tensed up. Seeing the two of them together on the golf course had been like a punch to the gut. That look on her face, only too familiar after their afternoon together, only it had been Carver who'd put it there. Not that he could be blamed for being interested in Megan. Nate sighed. Carver was a decent guy; he'd probably back off if he told him so. They'd been getting along well, after all, become friends as far as that was possible in such a short time. All things considered, he was sure he could put an end to Carver's pursuit of Megan with just a few words now. But, for some reason he couldn't explain, Nate decided to be honest. "I wish I knew. Up until a week ago, I'd have said, pretty serious. She's literally everything I've ever dreamed of in a girl, you know. But, then her parents got wind of the whole thing and she sort of broke it off. Besides…" He took a deep breath. "Maker, Carver, I'm nineteen and she's seventeen. We're probably far too young to know what we want. Heck, half of the time I'm not even sure-" He broke off. "What are you not sure about?" There was an odd undertone to Carver's voice. "I… I'm not even sure a girl is what I really want." He hoped his blush wasn't visible. "Sorry. That was probably too much information." "Not at all." Carver swallowed audibly. "I… I'm not very sure of that myself, actually. Especially not here, with you." Nate felt his heart speed up. "You mean you-"     Suddenly Carver was there, right before him on the bed, kneeling between his legs. His hands were warm on Nate's thighs, his eyes full of hope and fear and longing. "Can I-" Nate nodded, unable to speak. Without further preamble, their lips met and he instantly forgot how to think, because Carver was kissing him with a fierceness that took his breath away. "Shit, Carver, you-" He wanted to say something witty, something sexy, but he didn't get a chance, because Carver was palming him through the thin fabric of his pyjama bottoms and all the blood from his brain fled elsewhere. Carver laughed, a little breathlessly, and then his hand slid past the waistband of the pants and pulled them down until he was touching Nate, stroking him firmly. Carver was definitely not doing this for the first time, Nate thought through the haze that was rapidly settling over his brain. He was far too good at this to be inexperienced, and things were moving at a pace Nate found hard to keep up with. Suddenly, he had an inkling of what might have been going on at that party at the Gallows to make the principal call for an expulsion. At any rate, Carver's hand on him felt good, too good really, and he was so close already he had to put a stop to this if he didn't want it to end too soon. Grabbing Carver's shoulder, he pulled him up into another kiss, groaning when he felt Carver hard against his stomach. Carver wiggled against him and, moments later both their pants were gone, without Nate being able to say exactly how it had happened. "Nate. Shit, you feel amazing." Carver was panting heavily, wrapping one hand around both of them, motioning for Nate to do the same. And, it was so incredibly hot, skin on skin, rough and eager. Nate couldn't stop himself from moving, thrusting into their hands, until Carver groaned against his throat and jerked against him, spilling all over his stomach. There was no way he could last after that. His brain blanked out, just like that, and he actually yelped, glad for Carver's mouth on his, muffling his cry. As soon as he could think clearly again, he pulled back a little, reaching for the box of tissues on the nightstand. Fortunately, Carver was completely matter-of-fact about cleaning up, so it wasn't as awkward as he had feared. But, still… He shook his head with a shaky laugh. "What's the matter?" Carver glanced at him sharply. "Nothing." He reached out tentatively to stroke Carver's cheek. "That went a lot faster than I'd expected." "Too fast?" Carver's shoulders visibly tensed, and Nate swallowed involuntarily at the sight of all that hard muscle bunching up. "I'm sorry. I… ran with a gang for a while in Kirkwall. Things were a bit more direct there." "Don't be sorry. It was perfect." Nate hesitated. "What kind of gang?" Carver's lips tightened. "Just a street gang, you know. We hung out, stole bikes, broke into empty houses; stupid stuff. That was right after my father and Bethy died. My twin sister," he added by way of explanation. Nate felt as if he'd been hit in the stomach. "Maker, Carver, I'm sorry. What happened?" "Car crash." There was no mistaking the pain in Carver's voice. "Can we not talk about this now?" "Sure." Nate cast about for something to make it better. "I guess I just didn't expect you to be quite so… experienced. Makes me feel a little stupid, really." Carver huffed and looked down at his stomach. "Well, if it's any consolation, this is about as far as my experience goes. I messed around with a few guys in Kirkwall, but I've never… And I've never been with a girl at all." Nate raised an eyebrow. To say that he was surprised would have been an understatement. "But, you do like girls? I mean, I saw you with Megan at the golf course and you seemed pretty into her." "I was, but… Look, about that." Carver turned to face him again. "Nothing happened that day. I kissed her goodbye, but we didn't-" "Hey, it's okay. I wouldn't blame you." Nate shook his head. "And it's not as if I've got any right to complain." "But, you do. You're in love with her, any idiot could see that." Carver bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Nate. This is such a mess. Seems I'm nothing but trouble for the two of you." "Maybe." Nate still felt far too warm and relaxed to agree to this assessment. "Or maybe it's just one of these things that are nobody's fault." "What do we do now?" Carver's eyes were fixed on him, as if he had all the answers. "I don't know." He shrugged, but it was hard to hide his pain and his wounded pride. "Meg's parents don't want her to see me again. And, she told me to back off. Looks as if you can try your luck if you want to." "If I want to… What about us, though?" Carver's eyelids fluttered once. Maker, those lashes! Nate held his breath. "Us?" "Us. This." Carver made a sweeping gesture with his arm. "Unless you'd rather forget about it." He looked terribly vulnerable for a moment. "Bullshit." On impulse, Nate pulled Carver in for another kiss, moaning when their lips met. "And you know it." Carver just smiled, but it was enough to make the warmth in his stomach blossom into something more urgent. "Let's worry about that later, okay?" =============================================================================== Saturday night finally arrived. Megan had been bored sick the whole week with everybody else gone. Sigrun had offered to stay behind, but she hadn't had the heart to accept the offer. It was obvious that her friend was eager to go on the trip, and there was only so much one could ask for in the name of loyalty. She'd taken advantage of the extra time to catch up on her school work but, even so, there'd been plenty of nights when she'd ended up on her bed, staring into space, thinking about Nate and Carver and what would happen next. Carver had called her, right before the others had left, and they'd agreed to go to the movies as soon as he was back. Her mother had been enthusiastic about the idea. For some reason, Eleanor Cousland seemed convinced that Carver was the ideal boyfriend for her daughter. He'd be here in a few minutes, and part of her was looking forward to it, very much so in fact. And yet… She couldn't get Nate out of her head either. She'd missed him so fiercely in the past two weeks, not just his kisses, but all of it; hanging out with him, talking to him, being friends with him. The doorbell rang and she made a face as she heard her mom's enthusiastic greeting. Quickly, she skipped down the stairs and flashed a smile at Carver. He was looking good, his skin even more tanned than before, but he avoided her gaze and she wondered what was up. "Bye, mom." Before her mother could get started on her usual list of exhortations, they were on their way. "Hey." Carver seemed a little more relaxed out here. Raising his hand, he showed her the bunch of keys he was holding. "My mom let me have her car." "Great." Megan was impressed. She'd had her own license for months, yet there was no way she could persuade her parents to let her borrow the family car for a night out. Either Carver's mom was a lot more easy-going, or he had hit upon a much better argument. Anyway, it was nice. As she got into the seat next to Carver, she glanced over at him. He seemed calm and focussed, which was an attractive look on him. She was relieved to find that he was a steady and level-headed driver, not trying to show off or be cool. He spoke little on the way to the cinema. Once they were inside and the lights went out, there was even less chance to talk. She had half expected him to put his arm around her – actually, some part of her had hoped they'd kiss and make out a little. That was what people went to the movies for, wasn't it? But, he kept his distance, though he was sweet and friendly the whole time. When the movie ended, he took her home again, without any attempt at a detour. On the doorstep, when they said goodbye, she’d had enough of his reticence. Without waiting for him to take the initiative, she got up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. He went stiff for a moment, then kissed her back, soft and gentle. "Night, Megan." She sighed. "Night, Carver." Leaning back against the door, she watched him leave. What was going on here? Had he lost interest? Or, was he really as gentlemanly as her mother thought? Either way, this didn't seem as if it was going anywhere any time soon. And as much as she'd enjoyed his company, being with him only made her miss Nate more. As she unlocked the door to let herself in, she made a decision.   ***** Thinking Outside the Box ***** Chapter 6 – Thinking Outside the Box As soon as her mother had left for the chantry ladies' Sunday luncheon, Megan was on her way to Nate's place. Her father had only grunted an affirmative from behind his newspaper when she’d muttered something about going out to meet Sigrun. There was a brief delay when she rang the bell and, for a moment, she wondered what she was doing here. Maybe he wasn't even at home- But then, Nate opened the door, and her heart beat so hard she wondered if he could hear it. His hair was a mess, as if he'd just gotten out of bed, and his t-shirt was inside out. "Meg? What-" He caught himself just in time and stepped aside. "Come in." He kept standing in the corridor, though, just inside the apartment. Well, he's probably still mad at me. Can't blame him. Megan took a deep breath. "Look, Nate, I've been thinking and I realized I've been terribly stupid." Without waiting for him to respond, she went on, as quickly as she could. "My parents can screw it. I… I miss you so much, and I'll find a way to see you. They'll just have to deal." When she looked up at him, his face was unreadable. "Meg, I don't know." "Please. Just let me come in and-" She pushed past him into the living room, but stopped in her tracks when she came face to face with… Carver, of all people. Carver in tight blue jeans, barefoot and shirtless, sitting cross- legged on the couch. She couldn't keep her eyes from wandering down to his bare chest, her tongue unconsciously darting out to lick her lips. "Carver? What are you doing here?" He blushed, a deep dark red and, when she turned back, Nate looked just as uncomfortable. "Carver came by earlier." He avoided her gaze. "We'd got along really well on the trip and-" Megan held her breath as the pieces fell into place. Nate's tousled look, Carver's missing shirt, his odd behaviour the night before… "Really, really well, it seems! Maker, I can't believe I've been so stupid." She hardly recognized her own laugh, it sounded so hysterical. "Well, that certainly saves me the trouble of deciding." "Meg, please-" Ignoring Nate's words, she pushed past him and out of the door, feeling tears rise to her eyes. She had to get out of here. =============================================================================== "Shit!" Nate flinched when the door fell shut. "I didn't expect her to show up here or I would have-" "It's all my fault." How Carver managed to look so dejected and so hot all at the same time was anybody's guess. "Stop it." Nate walked over to him and pulled him up on his feet, grabbing him by the hips. He should probably follow Megan, or try to call her, but then, what was the point? It was all so difficult, and he didn't want to sort it out now. He wanted to go back to what they'd been doing before, wanted to forget about this whole ugly scene. It felt completely natural to pull Carver close, to run both hands down his naked back. Carver felt amazing, warm and strong, and he sank into the embrace with total abandon, moaning softly when Nate began nibbling on his neck. Nate let his hands wander lower, sliding under the material of his jeans, marvelling at the tautness of the muscles under his hands. They ground against each other, both of them more than half hard already despite the earlier interruption. If he was honest, Nate was still a little overwhelmed by the realization of how much he wanted Carver. They hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other during the remaining nights at the cabin, and it seemed they were still far from done with each other. "Let's get back to bed." Carver sounded hoarse and his lips were hot on Nate's neck. Conscious thought rapidly took a backseat as they dropped onto the bed, legs entangled, hands and mouths everywhere. It was wild and exhilarating and a little scary, and Nate loved every minute of it. Once the first edge had been taken off their hunger, they stretched out on the bed, pulling up the sheets to cover up. Carver stared up at the ceiling with a worried frown on his forehead. "What do we do about Megan? I feel really bad about this." Nate sighed. "Me, too. Imagine walking in here, and…" He rubbed his eyes. "I really didn't think she'd change her mind. She was so… determined when she told me to stay away from her. I thought I'd never have a chance with her again and- " "And then I came along." Carver's face closed up. "I told you, I'm ruining this for the two of you." "No, you're not." Nate was surprised by his own vehemence. "You're not ruining anything. It's just complicated." He leaned over to kiss Carver, eager to prove he wasn't second best. Really, if I had to decide, I don't know- A thought struck him. "You know, I wonder…" "What?" Carver raised an eyebrow. "Well, maybe it's easier than we think." Nate swallowed hard. "You heard what she said. It saves me the trouble of deciding. Obviously Megan likes both of us, too, and had a hard time making up her mind." Carver shook his head impatiently. "Yeah. It's all my fault for showing up here." "Will you shut up about that?" Nate only just fought back the urge to kiss Carver again to ensure his silence. "Look, I'm attracted to both of you, she likes us both, and you like me and her. If we think outside the box for a moment, where does that leave us?" "You mean all three of us… You've got to be kidding!" It was Carver's turn to swallow. "I mean, yeah, that's hot and all that, but Megan would never agree to it. It's not something people do at our age, is it? Heck, I'm not sure it's something people do at all outside of porn movies." "Oh, they do." Nate remained stubborn. "This girl I was with, in Rivain, she told me she'd slept with two people at the same time once." "Well, maybe they do that kind of thing in Rivain." Carver shook his head categorically. "But, not in Amaranthine. Not in high school. Megan would think you've gone crazy. And she'd be right." "But, I don't want her to be mad at me. I…" Nate felt shakier than he liked to admit. "I want to be friends with her again, at least. I miss her." Carver sighed. "Well, maybe we can write her a letter. Explain how this happened, apologize, ask her to forgive us. Maybe she'll agree to talk to us." "A letter?" Despite the seriousness of the situation, Nate felt his lips twitch. "Isn't that a bit old-fashioned? Why not text her or send her an email?" But, Carver shook his head, a determined set to his lips. "Nope. No texting. A letter. If you want her to know you care, you have to make an effort." =============================================================================== "I still can't believe it." Sigrun shook her head. "I could have sworn they were into you. Both of them." "Yeah, well. Not all that much, apparently." Shit. Megan felt close to tears again, and she couldn't afford them, not out here in the school yard, minutes before she had to go back into her classroom. She probably shouldn't even have told Sigrun. But, they'd been friends forever, and they had always shared all their secrets. If anyone could help her sort this out, it was Sigrun. Sigrun who could be relied on not to tell anyone else; Sigrun who always had a solid piece of relationship advice ready; Sigrun who never seemed to have trouble with her own love life, who just went out and had fun and never got too attached. Now, she was shaking her head. "You know, technically…" She broke off a large piece of the cake she'd brought for lunch and offered it to Megan. "It doesn't mean they don't want you. Maybe they're both bi." "Both of them? Honestly? How very convenient." Megan laughed bitterly. "Either way, it seems they want each other more than they want me." "Oh, hon. That is just so unfair." Sigrun put away her lunch box and hugged her tightly. "What a mess." What a mess indeed. As she made her way back to her classroom, Megan tried for the thousandth time to sort out what was happening. Just four weeks ago, things had been perfect. She'd been going out with Nate, her parents had been clueless - which was the ideal state of affairs as far as she was concerned - and the future had looked bright. Now… If only Carver had never shown up at their school! "Ooooh, someone isn't in the mood for talking today, it seems." Leliana rolled her eyes, and Megan realized she'd failed to listen to her chattering for at least five minutes. She didn't particularly mind Leliana as a rule, even if her Orlesian accent was a little jarring. But hey, she always had interesting stories to tell, and she was always up to speed with the latest gossip. "I'm sorry, Lel." Megan sighed. "I just have a lot on my mind right now. What did you say?" "I was just wondering why the new guy suddenly wants to sit next to Habren. Think he's interested in her?" Leliana made a surprisingly rude gesture with her left hand, startling a laugh out of Megan. "He might be. I don't really care. He's a bit of a bore, really." She did her best to sound disinterested. "You think?" Leliana eyed Carver without any attempt to hide her interest. "I rather like the strong silent types myself." Despite her gloomy mood, Megan had to stifle a grin. She highly doubted the feeling was mutual. Very few guys she knew would be ready to put up with Leliana's constant stream of observations. Certainly not Carver. She was glad he'd swapped places with Leliana right after the incident at Nate's house. For the past few days, she'd watched him and Nate surreptitiously, looking for signs that they were more than just friends, but there really wasn't much to go on. A heated glance now and then, or maybe they were standing a little closer together than strictly necessary, but she really doubted anyone else had a clue. So far, the rumour mill hadn't caught up with Nate and Carver yet. Megan glanced down at her bag. The letter had arrived two days ago. Her first impulse had been to tear it up and throw it away, just as soon as she'd deciphered Carver's name on the back. But, she'd changed her mind and taken it up to her room to read, ignoring the cooing noises her mother had made. You'd change your tune if you knew what this was about. The letter, signed by both of them, had been brief but sort of sweet, and it seemed they were sincere about wanting to mend fences. But, could she really go back to just being good friends with Nate? Could she bear watching them together? And what was the alternative? Never talking to either of them again? She sighed. Carver had suggested he could come by next Saturday, pick her up and take her to Nate's place. Megan didn't know what to do. She'd never felt so much at a loss in all her life. ***** Exploration ***** Chapter 7 – Exploration Her mom was delighted when Carver showed up again. Once more, he played the part of the wholesome, well-spoken young man to perfection. Megan had a hard time hiding her true thoughts. If her mom knew what Carver was up to in his free time, she'd change her mind soon enough. Carver didn't say much on the way over to Nate's apartment, but he kept shooting surreptitious glances in her direction. Megan wondered what to make of the whole affair. So, yes, they wanted her to forgive them. She could do that, probably. If she was completely honest, she didn't have much of a reason to be offended, really. She'd been the one who had broken up with Nate, after all, and a few dates with Carver hardly entitled her to any kind of possessiveness. Still, everything had been so damn embarrassing! She squirmed in her seat, suddenly wishing she hadn't agreed to come. Carver noticed her fidgeting, but didn't comment on it. Thankfully, it was a short drive. Nate opened the door at the first ringing of the bell. He looked pale and anxious, and Megan's heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. Maker, she'd missed him so much. Not even so much the kissing or the making out, just the jokes, the laughter, the banter. She'd missed her best friend. "Meg." He cleared her throat. "I'm glad you're here." She didn't reply, but she followed him to the living room and sat down on the couch, taking a sip from the can of Coke he handed her. There was an awkward silence when Carver closed the door behind him, leaning against the wood. "Meg, I'm sorry-" "Look, I just-" They both started talking at the same time, then laughed shakily. Nate glanced at Carver and continued for both of them. "We're so sorry, Meg. This is such a mess, and you don't deserve this." "It's okay." She didn't meet his eyes. "I'm okay. Just wounded pride, really." "No need for that." Carver slid down until he was sitting on the floor, looking up earnestly at her. "I think you're hot. We both think you're hot. It's just-" "Hey, I said it was okay." Megan bit her lip. "Can we just skip this and do something normal? I don't think talking will help." Nate nodded. "I have a new game we can play. Dragon Hunt 4. Wanna have a look?" "Maker, yes!" It was such a relief. Megan sat up straight with a wide grin. "Well, go on. What are you waiting for? Afraid I'll kick your ass like I did in part 3?" Nate grinned back at her and soon they were in the middle of an epic hunt, taking turns with the controller. Megan was only too glad to lose herself in the game. Much better than sitting here with them, staring at the two of them and wondering what exactly they were up to when she wasn't there. Carver got pretty involved, too, and by the time they reached the higher levels, they were all flushed with excitement. Nate finished off a particularly dicey opponent with a cry of triumph. When she reached for the controller, he clung to it, shaking his head. "Let me do one more." "No way! It's my turn!" Quickly, she grabbed it from his hands and scuttled away out of reach, but she'd forgotten about Carver and she backed right into him. "Got you." His breath was warm on her neck, and his strong arms easily held her in place. Megan gasped. It only took a moment for the awareness to hit her. His body, warm and solid, pressed up to hers, and Maker, he felt so good, all soft skin and hard muscle! And, what had he said earlier? We both think you're hot. Well, if they did… On impulse, she decided to throw her scruples to the wind. Damn it. Screw the consequences! Twisting a little in his arms, she brushed her lips against his. He went very still, and Megan flinched. Shit! Now I've messed it up again. But, just as she was about to pull back, he cupped her cheek with his hand and turned her around in his lap for a long, deep kiss. It was nothing like that shy peck on her parents' front porch. This was… Megan gave up on trying to find words for it as he claimed her mouth with a fierce greed that shook her to her very core. Carver wanted, Carver craved, and he wasn't shy about it at all. Dimly, she was aware of Nate moving in behind her. The moment Carver let go of her lips, he was there, embracing her, kissing her just as deeply. Maker, this is crazy! Megan couldn't believe what she was doing here, caught between them, whimpering into Nate's mouth, with Carver's taste still on her tongue. When they paused for air, Carver reached over her shoulder to kiss Nate, right before her eyes. And it was so hot, so damn hot, watching them kiss, hearing them groan, feeling them both go hard against her body. "I… I really ought to leave." She forced herself to say the words, but Nate's heated gaze made her feel foolish the moment they'd left her mouth. "Meg. Please don't." There was a rough tremor in his voice that completely killed her resolve. Closing her eyes, she slid off Carver's lap and sank back into the cushions, moaning helplessly when she felt two pairs of hands on her body. Clever fingers worked the buttons of her blouse open and pushed her bra down, and when she opened her eyes again, two dark heads bent over her breasts, two eager mouths found her nipples. Carver wasn't as skilled as Nate, a little too rough for her taste, but it was still the most amazing thing she could have imagined, the two of them licking and sucking together, wholly focussed on her pleasure. The throbbing between her legs became too urgent to ignore and, when Nate reached for the hem of her skirt, she arched into his touch, shivering with impatience. Leaving Carver to deal with her breasts, he slid off the couch and spread her legs, hitching up the skirt and slowly pulling down her panties. Maker, if he's down there he can- But, then his hot mouth was on her, and Megan couldn't care less what he could or couldn't see, because what he was doing felt so very good! His tongue and lips set fire to her, making her whimper with delight. Carver's mouth on her breasts added another layer of sensation, hot and tingly and wonderful. By the time Nate curled a finger deep inside her, she was already so far gone that every muscle inside her clenched around him, so tight he had to feel it. Just then, Carver bit down gently on her nipple and she came so hard she actually lost track of her surroundings for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, the two of them were at her side, wearing identical smug grins, but, when their eyes met, their expressions changed. Nate grabbed Carver by the neck and they kissed passionately while Carver was making short work of the buttons on Nate's fly. Megan instinctively pulled back a little, trying to give them space. But, Nate shook his head, panting hard and reaching for her hand. "Please, Meg. I need-" "Shhh." Carver pulled down Nate's jeans and briefs in one swift move. "I'll take care of you." Megan swallowed hard when he bent down to wrap his lips around Nate. Part of her still felt as if she should leave but, at the same time, she was burning with curiosity, unable to look away. When Carver glanced up and made a tiny motion with his head, as if inviting her to join, she trembled with excitement. But, she still hesitated until Nate, who was propped up on his elbows, eagerly watching Carver, gave her a pleading look. Shyly, she moved down, wondering how Carver managed to be so matter-of-fact about the whole thing. She was… unsure of where to look and what to do and, at the same time, so very, very turned on. Despite her recent climax, she felt tingly all over again, even as her brain pointed out she'd never seen a penis up close before, and it looked funny and a little gross with Carver's lips around it. Carver seemed to have no such qualms. When he saw her approach, he pulled back and released Nate for a moment, licking him teasingly. He was a little embarrassed after all, she realized, his ears flushed red and his eyelids fluttering rapidly but, when she leaned over and flicked her tongue against Nate's hot flesh, he closed his eyes with a rough groan. "Damn it, Meg, this is-" Nate echoed the noise. He was staring down at both their heads, his eyes cloudy with arousal. The moment Carver's lips locked around him again, his hips jerked up hard. Instinctively, Megan grabbed his hand, holding it and feeling his fingers tighten around hers as he came with a long, heaving sigh. Carver sat up, clearing his throat, and Megan blushed when she realized he'd swallowed all of Nate's- "Carver. Thanks." Nate sounded more than a little shaky. He quickly freed Carver from his pants and Megan winced when she saw how tightly he gripped him, how roughly he stroked. Yet, Carver seemed to love it, thrusting hard into Nate's hand, his face screwed up in an intense frown of concentration. It took only moments until he finished as well, spilling all over Nate's hand and his own stomach. Such a mess. Megan wasn't sure where to look as they embraced again. The thought came unbidden – how often had they done this already? They seemed so familiar with each other, so comfortable together. Once again, she felt left out, but then Nate pushed Carver back and reached out for her. "Meg. You-" His cheeks reddened a little. "Are you okay? Is this okay?" She wasn't quite sure what to say. "I… I really don't know." She took a deep breath. "That was kind of overwhelming." Carver made a small, affirmative noise and Nate laughed briefly, looking down into his lap. "Maker, yes. I had it all planned out, you know. I was going to be so patient with you, let you take your time. And now…" When he looked up, his face was serious again, and his gaze clear and candid. "This is not how I wanted it to go, but it doesn't change my feelings, Meg. It's probably a bad moment for me to tell you, but I think… I'm pretty sure I love you." Megan's heart beat faster at his words, but she was acutely aware they weren't alone. "And Carver?" Nate closed his eyes, taking hold of Carver's hand. "Him, too. It's… complicated." Carver made a small noise and squeezed Nate's hand hard. "Look, I told you I'd back off if-" "But, I don't want you to." Nate's eyes flew open again. "What we just did… I want to do this again, Meg. With you. With Carver. I want you both. I want to try to make this work." She inhaled sharply. "You are mad. Our parents would go ballistic if they knew." "I wasn't planning on telling them. Or anyone else." Nate raised his hand to quell her protest. "Actually, think about it! Things would be much easier. Carver, you said Meg's mother likes you. And I wouldn't have a problem with her being officially your girlfriend." Carver gasped. "You mean… like we played it today. Meg could go on dates with me and then we could come here and… Nate, that's wicked!" His grin quickly faded into a bitter little half-smile. "And I bet my mom would love it, too, if I went out with a girl." Megan could hardly believe her ears. The two of them seemed to actually think this was a good plan. Guys! They never think twice about what could go wrong. Though, come to think of it, what was the worst that could happen? Quickly, she pushed aside a mental image of her father's face if he ever found out. They'd just have to be careful. She chewed her lip thoughtfully. "What do I get out of this?" Nate grinned. "Us?" He reached over to bury his hand in her hair, then pulled her closer, kissing her slowly with plenty of tongue. "We'll make sure you won't regret it." There it was again, that rough quality to his voice that made her go weak in the knees. But, she really needed her wits about her to make a decision. "Let me think about it. I'll need some time." She sat up, reaching for her blouse and slipping into it. "Can you take me home, Carver?"     ***** Fun and Games ***** Chapter 8 – Fun and Games "Both of them? You're pulling my leg!" Sigrun shook her head. "I mean I know I said it would be hot, but-" "It's true," Megan protested. "I mean, yeah, I find it hard to believe myself, but I wouldn't lie to you, would I?" Once more, she had been unable to resist the temptation to tell her friend about what had happened. It just wasn't something she could work out on her own. Not that Sigrun had any experience with such a situation. There was really no reason to expect helpful insights from her. But, as usual, her friend surprised her. "Nate really said he loves you?" Sigrun sighed dreamily. "Wow. That's kind of big, you know." "I know, but-" Megan swallowed. "How can it be love if he's in love with Carver at the same time? I mean, that's not how it works, right? If it's really love, you don't want anybody else." Sigrun shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe Nate's different. Maybe he really can love two people at the same time. If that's what makes him happy…" She grinned. "And hey, from what you said, the two of them were making you pretty happy, too." "Very funny." Megan ran both her hands through her hair. "That's not the point, is it? I mean, yeah, it is, but…" "So, what are you going to do?" Sigrun's tiny face shone with excitement. "I don't know." Megan threw her a dark look. "Maker, look at you. You're actually enjoying this, aren't you?" "Well, yeah." Sigrun started to giggle. "So would you, if it wasn't your problem." "But, it is my problem. And I thought you'd help me sort it out." Megan's throat felt tight. If not even her best friend understood her- "Sorry." Sigrun didn't look particularly repentant. "But, honestly, Meg, most people would kill to have that sort of problem. Here you are, with two of the hottest guys in our school falling over their feet to get you in bed and you…" She shook her head. "I say, go ahead. Have some fun with them. You can always break it off if it gets too complicated." "I don't want to hurt them," Megan pointed out. "I like them. Both of them." "People get hurt when they're in love." Sigrun shrugged. "And they get over it. But, look at it this way: You may never get an opportunity like this again." When Megan didn't answer, she nudged her with her shoulder. "Well?" "All right." Megan sighed again. "I'm going to call Carver. I just hope I won't regret this." "I don't think you will." Sigrun grinned broadly. =============================================================================== Sigrun was right. Regret was the last thing on Megan's mind in the weeks to come. True, it took a lot of careful planning to make things work.  But, boy, was it ever worth it! The afternoons they spent at Nate's place were more exciting than anything she could have imagined only three weeks before. Being with Nate had been hot enough, but having a third person there for whatever they were doing definitely added an extra thrill.  Part of it was that she honestly loved seeing the two of them together, though she couldn't even tell why exactly it was so hot. But, it was quite educational, too. She'd learned more about how to please a guy in bed from watching them than from all the books and websites Sigrun had dug up on the topic. The first time she had plucked up the courage to go down on Nate, Carver had held her hand, squeezing it encouragingly, until he had had to pull his hand away to stroke himself, unable to just watch any longer. And, afterwards, when she had pushed Carver's dark head impatiently down between her legs, Nate had been at his side, whispering tips and suggestions in his ear. They still hadn't had sex with a capital S yet, but even so, the knowledge that both of them wanted her made her knees go weak and her heart beat faster. The only damper on her happiness was the need to keep her feelings for Nate secret. The only time all three of them could really be together was on the weekends. Besides, Megan hated having to pretend. When Carver greeted her with a kiss and a smile in the morning, it felt increasingly unnatural not to include Nate. Still, she didn't even dare to imagine what the others would say if they knew. Some part of her even regretted telling Sigrun, even though she badly needed an ally. "So, what are you going to do about the dance?" Sigrun gave her a look of round-eyed innocence, proving her point. Megan could have kicked her. They were at the cafeteria, with Leliana and Velanna sharing their table. With only a few more weeks to go until their finals, everyone was getting excited about the dance at the gym. There was no tradition of a formal ball or prom for the departing students at their school, but it was customary for the students to organize their own party. Since the dance was restricted to students in their final year who were, for the most part, legal adults or close to it, teachers traditionally turned a blind eye to any shenanigans at this event. Anything downright illegal was out of the question, of course, but slow dancing and dimmed down lights were pretty much a given. "Well, she's going with Carver, of course." Leliana shook her head. "What else would she be doing? What about you, by the way?" Sigrun leaned back in her chair with a wide grin. "I'm going with Nate. We're both single, so we might as well go together." Megan inhaled sharply. This was news to her, and she wondered whose idea it had been. Well, at least it meant they could hang out together for most of the evening. But, they would still have to be careful. On the big night, they all dressed up and headed for the gym. Megan had chosen a short, tight dress, sea green like her eyes. Carver's eyes lit up the moment he saw her. He was looking good, too, in black pants and a charcoal shirt. Megan's heart beat faster when she got in the car next to him. They met Sigrun and Nate at the door. Sigrun had gone for a dark blue dress that hugged her curves. She looked quite enticing, but Nate had only eyes for Megan. "Meg. You look lovely." The expression in his eyes was so openly adoring that Megan flinched. "Don't." It hurt to say it but, if he kept this up all evening, they might as well advertise their relationship with big neon signs. "You need to tune it down." "I know." He tried to sound light-hearted, but the pain in his voice was obvious. "Let's go in." The first part of the evening was harmless enough but, as soon as the lights grew dimmer, Carver dragged her over to the dance floor. Megan was surprised when his arms went around her without a moment's hesitation. "I hadn't figured you for a dancer." He made a face. "My mom insisted. Anyway, this isn't ballroom dancing." No. Not quite. Megan actually had to hold back a moan as he pulled her close, their bodies melting into each other. Placing her head on his shoulder, she inhaled his scent, letting the music wash over them, enjoying his surreptitious caresses: his hand cupping her breast; his lips on her neck; the way he was grinding into her, letting her feel how much she affected him in turn… Megan's breathing sped up, and she closed her eyes. They stayed on the dance floor until the music ended, losing track of time and their surroundings. There was just the two of them, their bodies so close they seemed to have become one. Megan's heart felt close to bursting as she lost herself in his eyes. Perfect. When they finally made their way back to their table, Sigrun shook her head at their questioning glances. "Nate left a few minutes ago, with Anders. Said it was late and he was getting bored." Megan exchanged a quick glance with Carver. "Did they say where they were going?" "No." Sigrun yawned. "Home, probably. It's way past midnight and I'm ready to call it a night myself." "True." Megan reached for her handbag. "Carver?" He nodded. "Let's go." They dropped Sigrun at her place, then drove on in silence for a while. Megan watched Carver's profile, lost in her own thoughts. Sigrun lived out near the coast, so they were going by a different route than usual, along the beach. As they approached the beach parking lot, lonely and deserted in the moonlight, Megan impulsively put a hand on Carver's wrist. "Let's stop here." "Here?" He raised an eyebrow, but complied, stopping the car in a spot overlooking the sea. "Okay. What-" "Shhhh." Before he could say more, she was halfway in his lap, kissing him eagerly. I've wanted to do this all night. He hesitated for a split second, but then he kissed her back, his hand already fumbling with the fastenings of her dress. Megan shook her head, pulling back a little and reaching for his zipper instead. When she bent down and grazed her lips along the bulge in his pants, his head sank back with a loud sigh. She smiled to herself as she quickly freed him of the restraining fabric. She'd never done this for him before, though she had seen the longing in his eyes when she’d taken Nate between her lips. Tonight, she felt just reckless enough to throw her qualms to the wind and follow her instincts. He tasted slightly different than Nate, and he felt different, too - thicker, heavier - but, when she tried her recently learned skills on him, his reaction was just as rewarding. His hands tightened in her hair, and the strong muscles in his thighs went taut with the effort of holding back. It gave her a huge thrill to know she was taking him to the limits of his control, and yet he was restraining himself for her sake, careful not to hurt her. He was getting close already, his whole body going rigid, and she sighed happily. Suddenly, there was the noise of a car engine, close beside them, and the bright cone of a headlight sweeping right across Carver's face. He froze. "Police patrol." Pushing her away in one smooth move, he scrambled for something to cover himself. Without thinking, Megan grabbed her shawl and threw it over his lap, sitting up straight just as a fist knocked against the driver's window. Carver quickly wound it down, flinching when a bright flash light shone into his eyes. "Your license, please." The deep voice of the officer outside carried enough amusement to make Megan's face heat up. Carver quickly produced his papers, and the man ruffled through them. "Well, it seems you're old enough to be out on your own. Just about." Megan bit her lip. Carver had turned eighteen only three days ago. "What about you, Miss?" He shone the light in her face. "Are you here because you want to be?" She nearly choked on her answer. "Yes." But, when he repeated the question, she raised her chin and spoke out clearly. "Absolutely. We… were on our way home from the dance." The man chuckled briefly, then handed Carver back his papers. "Well, then I suggest you get home without further delays, and I'll forget about seeing you here. Right?" "Right." Carver swallowed. "Thanks, officer." "It's fine." The man took a step back and motioned for them to get going. "I was young once, too, you know." Carver's hands were shaking as they turned back on the road again, and he was silent until they had rounded a few corners. When they had to stop at a light, he quickly tucked himself away properly, then tossed her shawl back at her. "Thanks. That was quick thinking." "You're welcome." Megan smiled, feeling her usual bravado return. "You okay?" "Yeah." His voice was still shaky. "Sorry. I've had some bad experiences with police patrols. Back in Kirkwall. I'll be fine." He dropped her off at her house with a brief kiss. "I love you, Meg." She took his hand and grasped it. "Take care. Are you going to Nate's place?" "I… Yes, I think I will." He blushed. "We-" "Good night, Carver." Megan could see her father coming toward the car. "See you tomorrow." Quickly, she got out and watched him drive off. "Megan. We were getting a little worried." Her father's deep voice carried no reproach, just sincere concern. "It's fine, Dad. The dance was fun." Megan smiled up at him as he put his arm around her shoulder and walked with her back to the house. Bryce Cousland was a busy man and he rarely took an interest in his daughter's comings and goings, leaving it all up to his wife. It was nice to have his attention for once. "Glad to hear you had a good time, pup." He ruffled her hair, taking in her appearance with a mixture of fatherly pride and apprehension. "Here you are, looking all grown up. Was that the Hawke boy your mother is so fond of?" "Yes." Megan grinned happily. "Carver." They were almost at the door, and her father stopped in his tracks, sighing deeply. "Listen, Meggie…" He seemed uncertain how to proceed, and she waited patiently. "I know your mother is already hearing wedding bells, but you take your time, you hear me?" She laughed, a little embarrassed. "Dad, I-" "No, I mean it." He took hold of her chin, tilting her head back so he could look her in the eyes. "With Fergus already married and a father, I think your mom tends to forget how young you really are. But, don't rush things, pup, okay?" "I won't." Her throat felt tight. If he knew… But, there were a few things she intended to keep to herself, now more than ever. Much better for his peace of mind. "Look, Dad, I'll be fine. I can look after myself." "You probably can." He sighed wistfully. "Come on. Your mother is waiting." ***** First Time ***** Chapter 9 – First Time "What's the matter with you, Nate? You look like that time I fed popcorn to your pet hamster." Megan was smiling, but there was a hint of worry in her expression. "Anything wrong?" "No. Yes. I don't know." He was mad at himself, really, for coming up with this stupid plan in the first place. And at Megan and Carver, for being such a damn perfect couple at the dance. Everyone's eyes had been on them from the moment they'd walked in, both of them practically glowing with happiness. Watching them had been torture: the way Carver had held her tight, the adoring looks she'd given him, the sizzle surrounding both of them wherever they went. True, Carver had come to see him afterwards, to tell him about the incident with the police, still pale and trembling from the shock. And, the two of them had ended up finding creative ways to deal with Carver's frustration and anxiety. But, still… "Is this about the dance?" Megan was getting altogether too good at reading his face. "Look, I'm sorry, Nate, but what else could we have done?" She was still smiling, obviously determined to cheer him up. "Imagine old Woolsey's face if I'd danced with both of you!" Carver snorted. "She'd probably have fainted right there, on the dance floor." "Yeah, I know." Nate still felt grumpy. "I guess I should have stayed away." He probably should have, at that. He didn't mind watching Meg with Carver, as long as he was part of the game; in fact, he rather enjoyed it. But, seeing them like this, from afar, with no way of intervening… "Are you jealous?" Megan seemed torn between worry and irritation. "Because, if you are, we need to talk." "I'm not jealous." Or was he? Not really. Not in the normal sense of the word. "It's just… I miss dancing with you, Meg." "Yeah, so do I." Her smile was back. "But, hey, that's easily fixed." His eyes followed her as she dug her phone out of her bag and attached it to the speakers on his desk, then reached for the switch to dim the lights down. Moments later, music filled the room and she was in his arms, warm and soft, yielding against him in a blatant invitation. Nate sighed with pleasure and pulled her even closer. It was just as good as he remembered it, from their many jaunts to the city. He closed his eyes and let the music take over. "Hey." Suddenly there was another body at his back, warm and close, and he nearly whined with pleasure. Carver. They held each other tightly, swaying gently in time to the music, and it was perfect. Nate couldn't recall ever having been so simply, truly happy. The music was soft and relaxing, his face was buried in Megan's soft hair, and his body was sandwiched between her curves and Carver's hard muscles. As far as he was concerned, life didn't get better than this. =============================================================================== Megan was glad that Nate had calmed down again. She had enjoyed herself so much at the dance with Carver, and she hadn't really thought about how it would feel for Nate. But, honestly, what else could she have done? There was no way they could just tell people what was going on, was there? She was glad he'd seen reason. Especially, because she had her own plans for tonight. It had taken her a while to work up the courage for this, but now seemed like the perfect opportunity. A way to show him how much she loved and trusted him, to show him they belonged together. With a small questioning sound, she tilted her head back. "Nate?" she whispered in his ear. "Mmmhmmm?" His hand was trailing down her back, the mood already changing from cuddly to sensual. "Do you…" She had to swallow before she could continue. "Do you have any condoms?" His hand stilled. "Do I… Meg, are you serious?" "Yup." She was glad the light was dim enough that he couldn't see her face clearly. "But, we have to do it now before I lose my nerve." "Your wish is my command." The smile in his voice was audible. Behind him, Carver had gone very quiet. For a moment, Megan wished he wasn't there, wished she could share this moment with Nate only, but, as soon as Carver moved over and she felt his hands on her body, she changed her mind. It was intoxicating, to kiss them both, feel them both, hot and eager. Their clothes came off, piece by piece, but they were still standing, still dancing, skin to skin now. Nate was taking his time with her, careful not to put any pressure on her, just as sweet and tender as he always was. She loved his lips on her body, loved the way he worshipped every inch of her skin, and she adored Carver's rougher touch, too: his hands holding her firmly in place, his teeth worrying at her neck and shoulders. So good. By the time they moved over to the couch, she was wet and open, moaning happily when Nate slid first one, then two fingers into her. He was panting heavily, no longer quite as patient. "Nate. Please." She arched up into his touch and he swallowed. "Wait." He disappeared for a moment, leaving her to Carver's kisses, Carver's hands on her breasts, his body stretched out next to hers, solid and reassuring. When Nate returned, he brought a towel and two little foil wrappers. Carefully, he spread the towel on the couch and arranged her on top of it. Megan was touched by the gesture, though she rather doubted it would be necessary. She'd spent all her teenage years taking horse riding lessons and, from what Sigrun had told her, it wasn't likely there would be much pain or blood. She tensed up in anticipation, but Nate wasn't done with her yet. Spreading her legs, he settled down on the floor and put his tongue to work. Within moments, she almost forgot what they were about to do. Nate was getting really, really good at this, she dimly thought as she dug her nails deep into Carver's broad shoulders, drawing a brief yelp from him. "Shhh. Careful." Nate smiled up at her. "Okay?" She nodded shyly. "Yeah." It was the oddest feeling when he finally kissed her, arranging her legs to either side of his slim hips. Part of her was shaking with arousal, eager for… more but, she was tense with apprehension, and feeling terribly insecure. What if he- "Meg. I love you." He kissed her again, more deeply this time and, at the same time, he pushed inside her, just an inch or two, then waited patiently. Megan realized that she would have to do her part, too, if she wanted this to work. The angle wasn't quite right yet, so she carefully tilted her hips a little, wiggling until he felt less intrusive. Nate moaned at her movement, but he didn't push further, not until she made a small, impatient noise. Then, he moved again, sliding deeper and deeper inside her. It hurt a little, but not much. "Relax, Meg." His voice was warm, but shaky. "You feel so good." Carver was breathing hard next to her, his eyes large and almost feverish. Megan turned her head a little to kiss him but, just then, Nate pulled back and began to move in earnest, and she forgot all about Carver. With a little effort, she managed to relax enough that it didn't hurt any more, not at all, and she could match Nate's rhythm, rocking her own body in time with his. With the pain gone, there was… pleasure, yes, but it was different than what they'd done before, nowhere near as simple and uncomplicated, less focussed, yet somehow deeper. The way he moved inside her, slow but insistent, did things to her she couldn't quite explain. Nate paused to kiss her, with heart-breaking tenderness. "I love you so much." "Nate." She clung to his shoulders as tightly as she could. "I love you, too." He shuddered all over, his control visibly fraying and, when he resumed moving, it was faster, more urgent than before. Megan didn't come, didn't even get close, before Nate faltered and collapsed above her with a stifled groan, but she honestly didn't care. Being with him like this was so overwhelming, so intense that she was trembling all over. As Nate pulled back, her gaze fell on Carver. He was kneeling next to them, his hand shaking with want as he fumbled around with a condom. A shiver raced down her spine. He wanted this, just as much as Nate had, and he fully expected to get what he wanted. "Let me help." Nate reached out for the condom, shielding Carver from her view with his body. Carver made a small, strangled sound. Then, he was shoving Nate aside and moving between her legs. Megan flinched when he pushed against her, hard and demanding. "Wait." She reached down to take hold of him and guide him to the right place, help him, as she'd done with Nate. But, as soon as she touched him, he went taut, his hips jerking hard against her, once, twice. She felt him struggle to keep control, his body tensing all over, but he was fighting a losing battle, that much was obvious. Not surprisingly so, perhaps, after watching her with Nate from up close. Megan kept as still as she could, trying to give him time, but to no avail. "Oh, fuck." Carver's voice sounded panicky, almost desperate, as he thrust once more between her thighs, then went limp. "I'm sorry, Meg. I'm so sorry." "Hey, it's okay." Nate was stroking his back, his voice warm and soothing. "I lasted about ten seconds longer the first time." Carver didn't reply, just panted hard against her breasts. There seemed to be nothing she could say, so Megan settled for ruffling his hair and breathing a kiss on top of his head. Secretly, she felt almost relieved. She was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that she had actually done it, that Nate had been inside her body, so impossibly close, almost a part of her. Her heart was racing like mad, and she wasn't even sure whether it had felt good or just… strange. She knew she wanted to do it again, see if it would be better next time, but right now she was glad to have a little time to sort herself out. "I'm sorry," Carver repeated, finally lifting his head to look at her. "Maybe we can try again, later." Nate shook his head. "No more condoms, I'm afraid." "And I need to be home at midnight." Megan bit her lip. "It's okay, Carver, really. Next time." He nodded, but she could see he was still mortified. "I love you, Meg." "I love you, too." She kissed him softly, eager to make it better. "I love you both." Funny. Suddenly it was so easy to say the words. Nate seemed preoccupied, but when he met her gaze, he shook himself, as if to clear his head. "Come here." They snuggled up together for a little longer, all three of them, warm and cozy, until she had to leave. =============================================================================== "So, you slept with Nate, but not with Carver." Sigrun made a face. "Not good." "That's all you have to say?" Megan pouted. "You made me swear I'd tell you as soon as I slept with a guy and, now that I have, you're complaining because it was only one?" "Very funny." Sigrun boxed her lightly in the ribs. They had met in the Smuggler's Cove, their favourite café in town, a tiny, quirky place down near the harbour, which served delicious cupcakes and frothing lattes. It had the added advantage of being in a part of town where few of their fellow students ever set foot, so there was less danger of being overheard. Megan had called Sigrun as soon as she'd awoken in the morning, eager to share the news. But, she was less than happy to have her own nagging doubts confirmed by her friend. "I mean it, Meg." Sigrun's face was unusually earnest. "This could mean trouble in paradise if you're not careful. Carver has to feel left out. I bet he's wrecking his head right now about why Nate got to have you and he didn't. Guys are competitive like that." "Well, it was hardly my fault," Megan pointed out dryly. "And anyway, it's only natural, isn't it? I mean, I've known Nate for ages, I trust him, and-" "So, you don't trust Carver?" Sigrun raised an eyebrow. "I do. I just-" Megan sighed. "Look, it's not as if I planned this. The next time I see them I guess we'll…" She blushed. "I've no idea what will happen, and, honestly, I probably shouldn't keep telling you all this. But, I don't think Carver will have to wait long." Sigrun grinned and winked at her cheekily. "Ah, you know I love to hear all the details. But, seriously, don't torment him, okay? He doesn't deserve it." "I won't." Megan reached for her bag. "See you tomorrow." As she left the café, she mentally shook her head at Sigrun's flippant attitude. If only it was that easy. ***** A Close Call ***** Chapter 10 – A Close Call Carver watched from the side lines as Meg raced down the wallop pitch, her face grim and focussed. He didn't really understand the intricacies of the game, and he wasn't particularly interested in learning them. But, he'd promised Megan to pick her up at wallop practice, and he'd arrived a little too early. He didn't actually mind watching the girls, of course. Those short skirts made for a good view. Megan played wallop much like she did everything else, fast and determined and with lots of confidence, but not much thought beyond the present. Carver could just imagine her yawning her way through discussions of tactics or formation. Not that he blamed her. He wasn't much into team sports himself. He much preferred doing his early morning laps in the peace and quiet of an empty pool. Swimming had been what had helped him regain his focus, after the car crash, after the months he'd lost running with Meeran's gang. He was so lost in thought that he almost missed Megan's sudden offensive. She was already halfway to the goal, past several defenders, when a member of the opposing team attacked her from the side with a vicious shriek . A tall, dark- haired girl with a pale face. Habren. Somehow, Carver wasn't surprised. Megan's leg collided with the other girl's mallet with a sickening crunch, then she went down with a scream of pain. Carver was at her side within moments, his arm protectively around her shoulder, while Mrs Maverlies, the team coach, examined her leg with a worried frown. Megan's knee looked swollen and, when the teacher tried to stretch her leg, she screamed again. "I'm taking you to the ER." Mrs Maverlies looked grim. "And, as soon as I'm back, I'm going to have a word with Habren. She should know better." "That bitch." Megan hissed between her lips as soon as the teacher turned her back. "I'm gonna kill her, I swear." "Shhh." Carver kissed her softly, then did his best to help her up. "Come on. Let's take you to the hospital." =============================================================================== Carver smiled politely as Megan's mother took him up to her room, a whole litany of admonishments pouring from her lips. "It's all right, Mrs Cousland. I promise I won't tire her out. I just want to help her catch up with her school work." He did his best to look virtuous. "She's missed more than a week of lessons already, and with the exams coming up…" "Of course." Megan's mother smiled benevolently. "She's lucky to have you." Fortunately, she stayed behind when he entered the room. Megan was in bed, reading, but, when she saw him, her face lit up and she quickly put her book aside. "Carver!" He sat down on the edge of her bed, pulling her into a kiss that was a lot more heated than her mother probably suspected. "Hey there. How are you?" She made a face. "It hurts. And I'm sorry I look so nasty. If I'd known you were coming by-" "You don't look nasty." Carver shook his head. True, her hair was a mess, but he rather liked it that way. The short nightie she was wearing was thin enough that he could make out her nipples under the fabric, and it left her legs bare. Though he probably shouldn't be thinking about bare skin and taut nipples right now, considering she was hurt and her mother was hovering somewhere outside… He cleared his throat and dug in his bag. "I've brought you some stuff from school. Here. But, really, you haven't missed much. It's pretty chaotic right now, with everyone going off their rocker because of the exams." She took the papers from him without so much as a glance at them. "Thanks. I think I'll be back on Monday anyway. Unless my knee gets worse." She grimaced down at it. Gently, Carver traced the outline of her bright pink knee brace. "Hey, that looks cute. I bet Nate would love the colour." "How is he doing?" Megan sounded anxious. "Have you been to see him?" "Sure." Carver smiled. "He's fine. Just missing you. We've both been missing you." Megan grinned, but he could see she was flattered. "Have you? How much?" Before he knew it, her hand was on his thigh, moving steadily upward, and he hissed sharply, feeling himself growing hard under her touch. "Meg!" She looked positively smug. "Seems you'll have to stay a little longer. Not even my mom could miss that." Her hand moved in lazy circles, massaging him through the denim, and he fought for breath. "How come you're so good at charming parents anyway? My mom thinks you're such a sweet and innocent lad." Carver did his best not to moan aloud as she increased the pressure. "I got a lot of practice back in Kirkwall. There was this guy, at my school." He had to close his eyes as the memory of Cullen hit him with full force: soft blond curls; warm hazel eyes; cheeks flaming red with embarrassment, back when they'd first kissed. "Had to persuade his parents that I was just as well-behaved as he was." "And, were you?" Megan was working at his buttons now, and he found it hard to keep his hips still. "Not really." He completely failed to hold back a rough groan when her hand touched his naked skin. "Megan? Everything all right?" Shit. Her mother's voice, right outside the door. "I'm fine, mom. Just moved a little too quickly and hurt my knee." Megan's face was flushed from suppressing her laughter, but her hand kept moving steadily, rhythmically, just the way he liked it. When she tightened her grip, not even the thought of her mother outside the door could stop him from coming hard, biting down deep into the back of his hand to avoid making a noise. She managed to catch most of it with her hand, quickly reaching for a tissue to wipe them both clean. He tucked himself away as fast as he could. A good thing, too, because only moments later the door opened and her mother walked in, a worried expression on her face. "I brought you another pill, dear. You know the doctor said you can take as many as you like if the pain becomes too bad." "Thanks, mom." Megan smiled brightly, her face a picture of innocence. Carver wondered what he looked like, whether his face would give away what they'd just done, but her mother didn't seem to notice a thing, just walked out with another friendly nod in his direction. As soon as the door closed behind her, Megan began to giggle softly. "That was close." She caught his hand and moved it to her breast. "Well? Aren't you going to do something for me?" "You're crazy, Meg." He shook his head. "Wasn't that exciting enough for you?" She pouted. "Hey, I’ve been lonely here for the past few days. I bet you and Nate had all kinds of fun without me." He blushed, because it was only too true. They'd missed her, of course, but it wasn't as if they couldn't find plenty of entertaining things to do on their own. Nate had been getting more adventurous lately, and Carver shuddered at the thought of- "Carver!" Meg's expression had turned sour. "Really, sometimes I think you just put up with me to be with Nate." "Hey, that's not true." He did his best to focus on her, but it was no use. She pushed his hand aside with a sigh. "Forget it. I'm not in the mood anymore." "I'm sorry." Carver felt mortified. "Please don't be mad." "I'm not mad." Megan picked at a loose thread on her covers, her face unreadable. "It's just… You're really more interested in guys, aren't you? Whenever you talk about someone you've been with or had a crush on, it turns out to have been a guy. Sometimes I wonder whether you really like girls at all." Oh, great! Carver took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain calm, though he really didn't want to have this discussion right now. "I do. I like you a lot, Meg. It's just… Girls are harder. I never know how to talk to them. I never know how to touch them. I keep being afraid I'll mess things up with them. Like I did just now, with you." "Hey." Megan's face had softened during his outburst. "No need to worry, you know. I've got no complaints about the way you touch me." To his relief, she reached for his hand again, and this time guided it under the sheet, all the way up along her silky thighs. Maker, but she felt so good! Carefully, he worked his fingers past her panties, deep into her moist curls, teasing, caressing until she was panting and rocking into his touch. When she came, her whole body went taut and she made a small noise, too low for even her mother's sharp ears to pick up, then went limp. He loved seeing her like this, all relaxed, soft, and vulnerable. When she'd settled again, he kissed her softly and got up. "I should go." She nodded. "Give Nate a kiss from me, will you? A proper one." "I will." He rose to go. "Meg? I love you." "I love you, too." She yawned sleepily. "See you soon." As he walked down the path to his car, Carver went through the whole visit again in his head, trying to sort out what exactly had happened there. Was Megan right? Did he really prefer guys? Some part of him wasn't sure. But, he hadn't lied to her either. He loved her, and he wanted to make love to her. There still hadn't been any chance to pick up where they'd left off, that night. Watching her with Nate had been so incredibly hot, and he knew he wanted that, wanted her, so very much. But, would you give up Nate for her? A voice at the back of his head nagged at him, small and insidious. If you had to choose…Then again, he didn't have to, did he? With a sigh, he unlocked the car and got in. Things should be easier once she's back on her feet. At least, he very much hoped so. =============================================================================== Nate had been waiting impatiently for Carver at the local pool, where they'd agreed to meet. It was properly summer now, the sun burning down on his naked back, making him dizzy. The pool was one of the main attractions for everyone below the age of thirty at this time of the year. The coastline near Amaranthine wasn't a particularly attractive place for swimming. There were a few beaches, but most of them were rocky rather than sandy, and the water quality was dubious at best. The city had gotten around the problem by building a lagoon shaped seawater pool right next to the seafront, surrounded by a generous sunbathing area and a kids' playground. There was a second, Olympic-size pool just down the road, for serious swimmers like Carver, but the lagoon was where people went to relax and have fun. A few yards away, Habren and Velanna had found places in the shade. Nate watched them surreptitiously while he waited. He had to admit that Velanna looked good in her skimpy bikini. Habren was busy applying sunscreen to her friend's back but, when she noticed him watching, she grinned and whispered something in Velanna's ear. To his surprise, Velanna didn't glare daggers at him, as usual, but instead stretched slowly and lazily, with both hands linked behind her neck. The movement made her small, high breasts jut out and emphasized the long line of her golden throat. Nate shifted uncomfortably, suddenly glad he was lying on his stomach. He'd never thought of Velanna that way but, right now, he was finding it hard to think of anything else. Habren's dirty grin disappeared the moment Carver walked in, making room for an expression that was nothing short of adoring. Nate couldn't blame her. Carver was wearing nothing but a pair of blue swimming trunks, and his tanned torso looked perfectly sculpted in the sunlight with little droplets of water glistening on his smooth skin. If that was the kind of body you got from swimming, it was a miracle not everyone took up the sport. Nate's throat went dry as Carver walked straight towards him, a wide smile on his face. He could clearly hear Habren's wistful sigh. Suddenly, he wanted nothing so much as to greet Carver with a long, fiery kiss, to claim him as his own, to show the world that all of this utter perfection belonged to him. Swallowing the impulse, he squinted up at Carver. "Hey." Somehow this one short syllable must have conveyed all he was feeling, because Carver's expression changed and, for one tiny moment, his face mirrored Nate's emotion exactly. But, Carver, too, quickly collected himself. By the time he'd arranged his towel next to Nate's, waving lazily over at the girls, his mask was firmly in place again. "So, how's Megan?" Nate kept his voice carefully down. "In fine form." Carver grinned. "She told me to kiss you, properly." "Yeah, well, let's save that for later." Nate felt his heart speed up at the thought. "Wish I could have gone with you." "Yeah." Carver stared off into the distance, and Nate was itching to reach over and touch him. "Me, too." They were silent for a while, watching the other guys mess around in the water, doing their best to impress the girls. Nate remembered doing the exact same thing the year before. It seemed so childish now. With a sigh, he dropped his head on his hands and closed his eyes.   ***** Breaking Point ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Chapter 11 – Breaking Point "Hey. Is this seat taken?" Nate looked up from his notes, surprised to see Anders standing there, a shy smile on his face. "Anders. Of course. I mean, of course you can sit here." Nate rolled his eyes. "Why did you even ask?" Anders shrugged, flicking back a strand of blond hair that had gotten in his eye. "I guess I didn't want to disturb you. You've been a bit weird lately." "Weird?" Nate raised an eyebrow. "How?" "Just weird." Anders stared at the table. "You're no longer hanging out with Meg, for one. You two were such pals. Actually, I thought you were-" "Her parents think I'm a bad influence." Nate stopped him quickly, before he could say more. "When has Megan ever cared what her parents think?" The quick glance Anders shot him was unexpectedly astute. "Plus, you are getting on really well with Carver." "So?" Nate did his best to look cool and unaffected. "Anything wrong with that?" "Nothing." Anders was still not meeting his gaze. "Except he's going out with Megan now. And, they are so much in love." Shit. Apparently we're not as sneaky as we thought. Nate took a deep breath. "Look, Anders-" "It's just strange, is all." Anders finally looked up at him. There was a curious expression in his warm brown eyes. "Carver took your girlfriend from you and you-" "He didn't." It came out sharper than he'd planned. "Megan was never my girlfriend." "Could have fooled me." Anders' lips twitched into a funny little half-smile. "But, hey, no offense. I just thought you might want to talk." "I don't." When he saw Anders flinch, Nate relented. "Look, I appreciate the offer. But, I'm fine. Really." He got to his feet with a smile, doing his best to hide his concern. "Come on. Time for lunch." =============================================================================== "Meg! I've missed you so much." Nate seemed positively giddy with excitement, and Carver had to hide a grin as he pulled them both into his arms. There was just about enough room for all three of them on the couch. It was good to see Nate so happy. There had been no opportunity for them to sneak off to his apartment all week long, and he had become increasingly frustrated. Carver couldn't blame him. He'd hardly been able to wait either until they were finally together again, all three of them, with no one else around. Megan moaned and snuggled up close to them, but there was a tiny line between her brows as she looked up at Nate. "Well, you did have Carver. No reason to complain." It was said lightly, but Nate still looked hurt. "I did, yeah. Doesn't mean I didn't miss you." He placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose, then let his hand rest lightly on her thigh. "How's the knee? Better?" She nodded. "It still hurts a little, but I'll be fine." "I wish I could have come to see you." Nate sighed. "It was torture, you know, not being able to…" "Yeah, well." Megan looked away, over at the window. "That's just the way it is, isn't it?" Her unhappiness was tangible. "Meg…" Nate's voice sounded strangled. "Look, I-" "Oh, come on, both of you." Carver had kept quiet the whole time, but now he could no longer hide his impatience. "If anyone here has a reason to complain, it's me." "You?" Megan raised an eyebrow. "I don't see why. You are the only one who can come and go as you want. You can be with Nate as much as you want to." "And with Megan," Nate added. "Yeah, but-" Sometimes I feel that's the only reason I'm here. The two of you would be perfectly happy without me. Carver almost said the words aloud, but they sounded so whiny in his head that he stopped himself at the last minute. "Forget it. We're wasting our time." "True." Nate extended an arm and pulled Carver close, kissing him hard enough to push his doubts to the back of his mind. Megan seemed about to say something, but then she, too, lost herself in their kisses and caresses. They fell into their familiar rhythm with ease, and Carver told himself he'd been worried for no reason. =============================================================================== Nate was sure there would never be anything better than this. Megan was so beautiful, flushed and tousled, her lips half open, and her eyes dark with arousal. All his senses went into overload because it was so utterly perfect, all of it: watching Carver's lips tease Megan's nipple, breathing in both their scents, hearing them moan and gasp, tasting Carver's salty skin, feeling Megan's wet heat around his fingers. The rush of want was so overwhelming, he didn't even think before he reached for the condom but, just as he was about to tear the wrapper open, Carver's hand locked around his wrist. "My turn. You promised." For a split second, he was tempted to push Carver aside, to tell him to back off, but then he saw the almost desperate need in his eyes, and he relented. "Okay. Your turn." "What is that supposed to mean?" Megan's voice was so sharp and cool, it felt like a punch to his gut. "Is anybody asking me what I want?" "It's my turn," Carver repeated stubbornly. "I've waited for weeks and-" "Well, yeah, I get that. But, that's not the way this works." Megan pulled back, her posture stiff and cold as she hid behind a blanket. "I'm not a toy for the two of you to squabble over." "Meg." Nate did his best to sound conciliatory. "Look, I'm fine with it. I don't see why-" "Because it's my body, that's why." Megan was clearly angry. "You two can't just decide who gets to have me." "That's not-" Nate felt as if he was losing ground. What was happening here? "It's okay, Nate. I've seen this coming for a long time." Carver was already reaching for his clothes, shaking with hurt and anger. "I'd better stop fooling myself. She's never wanted to be with me in the first place." "That's not true," Meg protested. "I just need time. It's not as easy as you think. I need to-" "Don't bother." There was a world of hurt in Carver's voice. "I should never have agreed to this." He was at the door before Nate could think of anything to say. "Carver! Damn it, Carver!" Nate jumped to his feet, reaching out with his hand as if that could stop him. But, he was already gone. Megan looked utterly bewildered. "What the void is he talking about?" Nate turned to look at her. Suddenly, all he could feel was rage; hot, blinding rage. "Well, what do you think? Damn it, Meg, all he wanted was to be with you, with us. Why did you have to ruin it?" She went very white. "Oh, so now I'm the one who ruined it? That is… interesting." "Meg, please!" Maker, what a nightmare. He was already regretting his words, had done so the moment they had passed his lips. But, she didn't even listen as he tried to explain. With fast, jerky movements, she got dressed, tears running down her face, then headed for the door. "Bye, Nate." "Meg!" He made one last effort. "Please. If you go now-" "Then it's over." She nodded as she pulled the door open. "Yeah. I know." The door fell shut and he was left alone in his flat, staring at the ceiling. =============================================================================== The next two weeks passed in a flurry of activity as they prepared for their exams with increasing panic, then spent hour after hour in the gym doing their best to reproduce what they'd crammed into their heads. There was no time to talk, no time to even think about what had gone wrong. And suddenly, it was all over and everyone went off to one destination or the other for the summer. Megan spent a few weeks out in the country with her brother and sister-in-law, babysitting her nephew, then she returned to Amaranthine. But, she was restless and the city didn't really feel like home any more. Once or twice she considered calling Carver or Nate, but she never actually went through with it. For weeks, she half expected to find another letter from them in the mail every time she went out to check it. But, it never came. Soon after her return, she met up with Sigrun for a coffee. "I don't get it, Meg." Her friend shook her head. "All you need is one long, honest conversation to clear things up. It's so obvious. Why is that so difficult?" Megan stirred her coffee slowly, staring down into the twirling pattern in the foam. "I don't know. Do you really think they'd be willing to talk? I mean, the way Carver acted…" She shrugged. "I just can't see us going back." Sigrun sighed. "It's such a waste. You and Nate, you were friends, really good friends, too. And, Carver is a sweetheart." "Yeah. Maybe." Megan took a deep sip from her cup. "I miss them, Sigrun. But, in a way… It's such a relief that I no longer have to lie to my parents." "Well, you could have told them. What?" Sigrun raised her hands in a gesture of wounded innocence. "You could have." "Yeah, right." Megan shook her head. That would have gone over so well. In the end, she didn't try to contact them. It was… easier, somehow, to pretend nothing had happened, to keep herself busy with preparations for her year abroad. Much easier than thinking about what could have been. Much less painful, too. She ran into Nate in town, at the end of summer. He looked good, a bit sad maybe, but tanned and fit. Her first impulse was to look the other way, pretend she hadn't seen him, but then she told herself to stop being childish. "Nate." She ran out of things to say immediately, though. Good to see you?That would have been a lie. How are you?Still not a safe question. Do you miss me?What would be the point in asking? Fortunately, he was a little better at this game than she was. "Meg. What are your plans, now that the summer is over?" "Travelling." She actually managed a brief smile. "As soon as I'm eighteen, I'll go on a tour of Ferelden, and maybe to Antiva or Rivain afterwards. Can't wait." "On your own?" He raised an eyebrow. "I'll be in Ansburg for the next year or two. My dad wants me to sign up for a trainee program in his company." She bit her lip. "Carver will probably stay here and go to business school. His mom told mine," she added by way of explanation. "Yeah." Nate nodded. He had a far-away look in his eyes. "Well. Bye, Meg. Hope you have a good time. Stay safe." "You, too." She watched him go, feeling sad and oddly light-hearted at the same time. It's over. Chapter End Notes Well, no, of course it's not over yet, don't worry. Epilogue coming up soon. ;) ***** Epilogue - Reunion ***** Epilogue - Reunion "Megan? I can't believe it's been five years." Sigrun bounced toward her with a huge smile on her face. "I wasn't sure you'd come. You always said reunions were a waste of time." "Sigrun! Maker, you are… big!" Megan blushed. "Sorry, but-" "It's all right." Sigrun's grin got even wider. "I know I look like a beached whale." "In her defence, she's got two in there." The bearded man at Sigrun's side placed a protective hand on her belly. He was quite attractive, Megan thought, well-built, with bright blue eyes and thick, curly hair. "This is Thorin." Sigrun smiled tenderly at her man. "He's really curious about you. I've told him so many stories about the mischief we got up to." "Maker's mercy." Megan made a face. "I hope you-" "Megan!" It took her a moment to recognize the tall, red-haired woman in Chantry robes who sailed towards her, smiling brightly. "How lovely to see you!" "Leliana?" Megan couldn't believe her eyes. "Have you become a Chantry sister?" She couldn't fathom why anyone would choose that life. Well, she's lucky they don't have to take a vow of silence to join. "Two years ago, my dear." Leliana smiled brightly. "I went on a pilgrimage to Haven with a friend, and I had the most amazing epiphany. Suddenly, everything was so utterly clear. The Maker's light shone on my path, and I just knew I had to follow it." When Meg made a face, she laughed, a high, tinkling laugh. "You wouldn't understand. I'm so happy with my new life." "But-" There was a commotion at the door and they both turned around, craning their necks to see what was happening. Megan had wondered whether Nate or Carver would show up at all. But, here they were, both of them. Carver looked delectable in dark blue jeans and a white shirt, his skin deeply tanned as usual. At his side, Nate was all in black, with his hair neatly tied back. He had one arm loosely around Carver's waist, his hand resting on the younger man's hip in a gesture that was both tender and unmistakably possessive. A buzz of excited talk had risen at their entrance. Leliana raised an eyebrow. "Well, look at them and colour me surprised! I thought… Didn't you date Carver for a while, back then?" Sigrun kept silent, but her eyes spoke volumes. "Yeah, I did." Meg smiled wistfully. "And, you had no clue?" Leliana shook her head. "Honestly, things like this make me glad I chose the Chantry life." Megan didn't bother to answer. Carver was already coming towards her, a shy smile on his face. Nate was about to follow him when old Mr Mac Tir approached him and drew him aside. "Meg. You look good." Carver hugged her tightly. He'd grown even more muscular over the past few years. "You, too. More than just good." Her answer was utterly sincere. Carver had always been attractive but, now, with all adolescent awkwardness gone, he was positively stunning. Tall, dark, handsome, well-dressed… He smelled nice, too. Instinctively, she fell into a flirty pose: back straight, shoulders back, head slightly tilted to the side. "I wasn't sure I'd see you here." Carver's voice seemed to have deepened even further, too. "Rumour had it you were still off travelling the world." "No." Megan smiled back. Talking to him felt both awkward and exciting. So many memories, some of them hot enough to make her blush. "I did a fair bit of travelling, that's true. I've always wanted to study abroad, so I went to college in Montsimmard. And now I live in Denerim." "Denerim." He nodded. "I always thought you'd be happy in a big city. What do you do for a living?" Megan snorted. "I work for a travel magazine. The Long Road. They don't really pay me enough to make ends meet, but it's fun, and I get around. Not many options with a degree in modern languages. What about you?" "I… got a fair bit of money from my father's inheritance when I turned twenty- one." He seemed almost embarrassed about it. "And, I finished my business degree last fall. Now I'm sort of… trying to work out what to do with it. I was thinking of investing in a few ventures, maybe even start my own company. Nate has taken over his dad's assets here in Amaranthine, so we could help each other out a bit." "Sounds good to me." Megan indicated Nate with a tilt of her head. "So, the two of you have really been an item all this time?" "Maker, no!" Carver laughed. "We've been around the block once or twice, especially Nate." He smiled fondly over at his partner. "But, last year we ran into each other at a job fair, in Starkhaven, and we realized..." He cleared his throat. "Some things haven't changed at all. And, a few others have actually become easier, now that we've grown up a little. I was such an idiot back then." "Yup. You were." Megan held his gaze. "We all were." He laughed, sounding a little embarrassed. "What about you, Meg? Anybody special in your life?" "Not right now." Since Zevran had returned to Antiva, she hadn't really bothered with relationships. She missed him, but it had always been more of a friends-with-benefits arrangement between them. She'd met Zevran on her trip around Ferelden, right after school. They'd struck up an instant friendship at a jumble sale, when they'd discovered their shared love for well-worn leather jackets. The first time they had had sex had been in a tiny tent at a campsite in the Brecilian Forest, with the rain pattering against the fabric loud enough to drown out her cries of pleasure. Megan smiled at the memory. It had been spectacular, as far as first times went. Later, during her time in Orlais, they'd made a habit of spending most of her holidays together, hardly ever leaving their bed. But, they'd never actually been in love, and it had always gone without saying they were free to do as they pleased while they were apart. She'd discovered her interest in older men around that time, and ended up sleeping with one of her professors, well, two actually, if you counted that drunken one-night stand with Riordan. None of those affairs had ever had a future, though, and she preferred it that way. Her mother was still doing her best to set her up with a nice young man, but really, settling down and having kids was the last thing on her agenda. "It's good to see you again, Meg." Carver's deep warm voice tore her out of her thoughts. "Hey, listen, the two of us are renting a cottage together for the summer, down near Soldier's Peak." He took a card and a pen out of his pocket and scribbled an address and a phone number on the back. "If you want, you could come down for a weekend, catch up, talk about the old times." There was a funny undertone to his voice and, when Meg looked up, she found Nate staring at her across the room and realized he was waiting for her answer, too. "I'd like that." She took a deep breath, feeling a smile rise to her lips. "I think I'd like that very much." =============================================================================== Megan was beginning to wonder where this was going. Ever since she'd arrived at the little house, shortly before noon, Nate and Carver had been friendly and charming, but they had kept their distance. While the guys had fixed a light lunch for her, the three of them had talked and exchanged news about their families. Megan's parents had bought an old rambling country house in Highever and left the town behind, spending their free time gardening and taking walks in the countryside surrounding the village. Leandra Hawke had remarried, an Orlesian banker, and she'd moved with him to Val Royeaux. Carver hardly ever heard from her. Nate's mother was still very much active in various charities in Amaranthine, though lately she'd begun to develop other interests. "You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Meg." Nate grinned broadly. "She's started going out with old Mac Tir! Apparently he's quite the charmer when he's not busy tormenting students." Megan shook her head in disbelief. Carver chuckled softly to himself. He'd taken off his shoes after lunch and had made himself comfortable on the couch, next to Megan, while Nate had settled into an old, well-worn armchair. So far, the two guys hadn't engaged in any PDA, except for the occasional light touching or brief kiss. Megan wasn't sure what she'd expected, but this was altogether too harmless for her taste - until she noticed the way Nate was looking at her when she talked to Carver, his eyes intense and his lips tight, as if he was struggling to hold back. Suddenly, she realized what was happening here, and the thought sent a hot tingle down her spine. It was too hot and humid outside to go for a walk, so they spent the afternoon inside, talking about their jobs and their time at college, about various old friends and acquaintances and what had become of them. It was all perfectly sweet and innocent, and yet Megan felt the tension inside her rising to an almost unbearable level. She wondered who would end up making the first move Nate took his time until the evening. She was standing at the window, looking out over the garden and admiring the sunset. When she turned, he was right behind her, close enough to touch. She effortlessly melted into his arms. He felt… different than he used to, and at the same time her body knew it was him, as if her skin recognized his the moment they touched. "Meg." His voice was rough like gravel. "Have you finally decided to stop teasing me then?" She moaned when he pulled her closer, letting her feel how much he wanted her. "No more games, please." He kissed her, slowly and thoroughly and, when they paused for air, he turned around with her, twirling her, so he was with his back to the window and she was facing away from him, into the room. "No more games? Such a pity. I have so many ideas you might enjoy." Carver was there, at the door, staring at them with single-minded focus. Nate held his gaze as he let his hands wander down Megan's body, removing her top and shorts and working his way across her naked skin inch by careful inch. Carver didn't move, didn't so much as lift a finger, just watched, with eyes that had grown pitch dark. She could feel his gaze on her, almost as tangible as Nate's touch. By the time Nate was caressing her breasts, she was already wet, and when he finally brushed his fingers over the fabric of her panties, they were soaked through. Megan whimpered when he shoved them down her legs, and suddenly Carver was right before her, on his knees, his t-shirt lying discarded on the floor. Gently, he lifted her right leg off the floor and placed it on his shoulder before he put his mouth on her. He was hesitant at first, but soon he lost all restraint, burying his face in her heat, licking, sucking, drinking her in as if she was the most delicious treat he'd ever tasted. It was fortunate that Nate was holding her so tightly. Without his support, she would have collapsed on the floor because her knees had turned to jelly, her head was spinning like mad, and every single thought of hers was focused on Carver and the marvellous things he was doing to her. He didn't let go of her when she started to thrash in Nate's arms, didn't let up for a moment, until she hoarsely screamed her release, too overcome to care. When she opened her eyes again, Carver had picked her up bodily and was carrying her over to the bedroom, with Nate close at his heels. Carefully, he lowered her onto the mattress, then stepped back to get rid of his jeans and briefs. Moments later, he was kneeling between her legs, his trembling hand moving up her thigh. "Meg, please. Can I-" His voice was shaky with desire, and Megan nodded mutely. She wanted him so much right now. "Someone is eager." Nate flopped down on the bed next to them with a wide grin. He, too, had taken off his clothes and Megan shivered at the sight of his bare body, his chest covered in dark hair, his cock magnificently hard against his flat stomach. For all his relaxed attitude, he was just as much affected as Carver, that much was obvious. Carver shot him a dark glance while he took a condom from the nightstand, rolling it on with a swift, practised move. "Shut up, Nate. Maker knows, I've waited long enough for this." Megan felt another surge of lust at his words, at the thought that he'd been thinking about her all this time, unable to forget how much he'd wanted her. Spreading her legs wide, she pulled him between them. Nate shrugged. "Fine with me. You're sure you know how to do this?" "Nate!" To her surprise, Carver sounded more amused than angry. "Stop being such a pain." Megan sighed, holding Carver back with one hand on his chest. "What's going on here?" A thought struck her, and she made a face. "I'm not your first woman, am I?" Carver actually laughed out loud. "No, you aren't. I may not have Nate's vast range of experience- Ow!" He ducked when Nate reached over to slap the back of his head. "But, I know where to put it, don't you worry." He had paused for a moment, but she could still feel him hard and insistent against her heat. "And, I want you, Meg." Spreading her legs further, he thrust inside her, smoothly and deeply. "I want you so badly." She gasped for air. "Carver. Yes, please." She whined with pleasure at the feeling of him inside her. At the same time, she couldn't help thinking that this easy banter was one thing that had been missing back then. She couldn't recall them ever laughing in bed. Everything had been serious, intense, and passionate - but not funny. Even so, all teasing was forgotten as Nate placed a hand on Carver's lower back and pushed him deeper, stopping only when he was fully settled inside her. The expression on Carver's face made her swallow, and she quickly tried to lighten the mood again. "So, is that why you asked me to come? Because you still felt I owed you one?" "Meg!" Carver tensed, but then he pulled back a little and caught her gaze, his face earnest and open. "This has never been just about sex, and you know it, don't you?" Slowly, he rolled his hips, drawing a long, helpless moan from her lips. "Don't you?" "Oh, Maker!" Megan arched up high, grasping Nate's hand tightly. "Yes. Yes, I do." Nate bent over her, kissing her deeply. "I'm so glad you're here." "Me, too." Carver moved again and it was almost unbearably sweet. When Megan looked at Nate, his earlier smugness had given way to what she could only describe as awe. The way he was watching them, touching both their bodies as if he had to reassure himself that they were really there, made her chest tighten with affection. This was what he wanted, what he'd always wanted, but, back then, they had been too young, too inexperienced to make it work. Not that she was certain that they could make it work now. But, right now, she didn't care, not with Carver moving between her legs, taking her to another shuddering climax; not with Nate sinking into her with a small sound of bliss right afterwards; not with both of them whispering suggestions for more into her ears, some of them so salacious she actually blushed, for all her various adventures. And, certainly not with a warm strong body snuggled up on either side of her as she fell asleep, feeling safe and full, and sated. Tomorrow they would have to talk, to think about the future. But, not tonight.   End Notes Giant hugs and thanks to suilven for betaing this for me. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!