Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1917048.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Free!
  Relationship:
      Nanase_Haruka/Tachibana_Makoto, Hazuki_Nagisa/Ryuugazaki_Rei
  Character:
      Nanase_Haruka, Tachibana_Makoto, Hazuki_Nagisa, Ryuugazaki_Rei
  Additional Tags:
      Yandere!Haru, Emotional/Psychological_Abuse
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-07-10 Words: 3358
****** It doesn't hurt to be caged (when no one sees you hurting) ******
by RocioWrites
Summary
     [Psychological abuse, underage and dub-con tw] He is actually
     drowning, Haruka drowns him. Haruka is the ocean, magnificent,
     beautiful, pure and an unstoppable brutal force. And Makoto is this
     feeble lover, anchored only when Haruka wants him to be stable,
     adrift in any other moment.
Notes
     TRIGGER WARNINGS: Psychological abuse, underage sex (both minors),
     dubious consent.
     Main pairing: HaruMako.
     Side pairing: Reigisa.
     (Written before Eternal Summer aired - which I haven't watched yet so
     please, no spoilers if you decide to review!)
Written for the marukaprompts_blog.
Prompt: Yandere!Haru? Nagisa & Rei are very supportive of Makoto going to Tokyo
to become a vet. Haru, not so much. At home Haru confronts him saying if he
leaves he’ll kill Nagisa & Rei. The next day Nagisa asks when he’s leaving so
they can throw a goodbye party. Makoto says he’s decided to stay. Years later
(after emotional trauma from Haru) Reigisa come visit Makoto. Makoto says he’s
happy w/Haru but his eyes lie, they don’t shine anymore; both Rei & Nagisa can
see that. They try to help him leave. (x)
*
The sun is warm on their faces and the soft wind blows, making their clothes
and hair dance. The roof of the school is empty except for them and a low
babble comes from downstairs and the yards, where most students meet. Rei yawns
before starting to eat, silently the other members of the swim club follow
suit, Nagisa eating from his giant lunch box while Makoto and Haru eat from the
ones Makoto’s mom made for them.
But the silence doesn’t last long because Nagisa, mouth full and bright eyes,
decides to interrogate Makoto.
"So! How’s the new part time job doing? Do you have fun?"
"It’s a job, of course he doesn’t have fun!" Replies Rei instantly, glaring a
bit at Nagisa who only smiles unpreoccupied and keeps eating.
"Well, not fun. But it’s not terrible either." Makoto laughs. Nagisa opens his
mouth in surprise and jumps him, lunch box almost empty and hugs Makoto
mumbling about how he should focus on having fun since they’re all so young.
Rei blushes, agreeing in a low voice. Because really, it seems unfair for
Makoto to work now.
Haruka doesn’t add anything and watches the interaction with an indulgent
smile. Makoto directs a glance at him and their eyes make contact for a few
seconds before Nagisa finally releases him.
"Makoto-sempai…" And Rei looks concerned but he fixes his glasses and keeps
going. "Are you saving money for something in particular?"
"That’s a good one, Rei-chan! Are you Mako-chan?"
Haruka becomes immediately interested at this and inspects Makoto, the three of
them waiting for an honest answer. Makoto seems to shudder under the intense
looks.
"Ah, not really." He offers and Nagisa’s smile turns into a pout.
"That’s boring, Mako-chan! Don’t you have a dream? Don’t you want something?"
He does. He wants so many things he can’t make himself say them out loud. He
shakes his head instead and smiles apologetically, like he’s asking forgiveness
for being too boring. Haruka only watches.
"What do you do with the money then?" Rei’s the one asking this time. "If you
want to tell us, that is."
"I help my mom and dad. The twins need new clothes regularly and also, books
and things for school. They’re kinda expensive and well, it’s a few hours of my
weekend. It’s not a big deal."
"It is! You should save money to go somewhere awesome!" Nagisa demands. "Like—
like the USA or Australia! I don’t know, don’t you wanna go somewhere else to
college for example? This town is so small…"
Makoto opens his mouth, he’s about to say something but Haruka’s blue eyes stop
him. They look at each other and Nagisa blinks, and then looks at Rei. It’s
like they’re talking without saying a word, Rei thinks and he’s amazed at how
this keeps happening.
"What is it?" Haruka finally says. Makoto shakes his head, hard, like he
doesn’t even want to think about this anymore.
"You do want to go somewhere cool!" Nagisa practically screams, and hugs Rei
that’s closer to him.
"Um, no."
"What is it?" Haruka repeats.
"Does Makoto-sempai have a dream?" And Nagisa looks directly at Rei, smiling at
him.
"It’s not that. I wouldn’t call it a dream."
"But you want to go somewhere." It’s not a question and Haruka’s expression is
impossible to read and Makoto nods weakly, almost ashamed.
"I’d like to go to Tokyo."  He confesses. "To become a vet."
"Oh."
"That’s so nice Mako-chan! You’d be the best vet in all Japan!"
"I agree." Rei whispers politely and smiles at Makoto who returns the smile.
"You need to start saving money now, so you can go to Tokyo as soon as school
is over for you, yes!"
*
"Aah, I have no idea how to solve this one." Makoto complains, tired, watching
his math homework. "Seriously, how am I supposed to solve this? We didn’t see
anything like this in class." He pouts adorably but Haruka keeps watching him
with dead-serious eyes and it’s making him uncomfortable. "Is everything okay?"
Haruka’s notebook is blank, homework forgotten. But he doesn’t reply and it’s
getting worse, Makoto is starting to get worried.
"Stay."
"Sure." He smiles. "Let me just call my mom."
Makoto does that, telling her how their homework is going to take them longer
than expected and he’d like to spend the night at Haru’s. She doesn’t oppose to
it and Makoto sighs in relief once the phone call is over, he doesn’t know why
but he feels things would be worst if he couldn’t stay with Haruka tonight.
"All done." He declares with a flourish, leaving the mobile phone on the table.
Haruka doesn’t waste a minute and presses their lips together, Makoto yelps,
surprised, but responds to the kiss by opening his mouth and grabbing Haruka’s
shoulders. Their tongues play in Makoto’s mouth and Haruka bites his lower lip,
sending pain all over his body.
Makoto knows this routine, he’s used to it. Haruka takes his glasses off so
quickly it makes him dizzy. He closes his eyes and lets Haruka remove his
clothes. Shirt first, pants then, and boxers shortly after. Haruka keeps
kissing him, forcefully, taking all the oxygen out of his lungs. Makoto feels
like drowning.
Haruka lays him down on the floor slowly, and somehow even when Makoto’s body
is bigger, he envelopes him completely.
He is actually drowning, Haruka drowns him. Haruka is the ocean, magnificent,
beautiful, pure and an unstoppable brutal force. And Makoto is this feeble
lover, anchored only when Haruka wants him to be stable, adrift in any other
moment.
Haruka is taking his own clothes off now. He starts a trail of kisses, licks
and light bites from Makoto’s neck and keeps going lower and lower. He sucks on
his Adam’s apple, bites his clavicle, licks his chest and sucks his right
nipple, dips his tongue in his belly button.
He begs for air but he’s trapped and he can’t reach the surface. All he can see
is bright blue and pale skin. Haruka smells like the ocean and Makoto has
finally grown out of that stage when it made him gag and want to cry.
Makoto moans, unashamed and loud. It echoes in the empty house and it’s
embarrassing but Haruka’s mouth is on him and he’s drowning so he couldn’t care
any less right now.
"Makoto." The voice is soft yet demanding and it makes Makoto tremble. A sharp
bite on his hipbones makes him gasp and look at Haruka.
Those blue eyes are intense, piercing him and he swallows against the lump in
his throat, unable to do anything more than to whimper and beg with his eyes.
Haruka ignores his half hard cock and licks his thighs, muscles quivering under
the attention. He drops a few more kisses on his legs, avoiding biting too hard
into the flesh of his calves.
"You’d be an amazing vet." Haruka mentions and Makoto is on the verge of
crying. Two hands seize each of his ankles in a tight grip and he gasps again,
a little bit scared now. "But you remember what I told you, right?" Makoto nods
uncontrollably, shivering, tiny tears forming at the sides of both eyes. He
can’t see clearly but he makes out the shape of Haruka good enough to see the
tense muscles and he feels those strong fingers squeeze.
"I— I remember." He manages to say, so defenseless and scared. He doesn’t want
to be afraid of Haru, his Haru - but he is.
"Good. Because I’m going to break your ankles if you ever leave me." Makoto
nods, closing his eyes with enough strength to watch bright spots behind his
eyelids. "You can’t leave Makoto. And I don’t want to move to Tokyo either."
Haruka loosens his grip and moves his hands caressing Makoto’s legs until they
settle on his hips. "Do you hear me?"
"Yes."
"Okay."
Haruka doesn’t smile and his eyes scorch him, too alive and too vibrant. Makoto
can’t resist it, he’s under Haru’s ocean and it’s damaging, he drowns and
there’s no way out. He breathes heavily, mouth wide open and eyes almost
closed.
A ragged moan escapes from his throat when Haruka engulfs him, mouth hot and
wet and his mind is so foggy and disperse he doesn’t understand anything.
There’s a hint of teeth and he feels himself growing harder inside of Haruka’s
mouth.
"I won’t ever leave you." He mumbles, too far gone. Haruka hollows his cheeks
and sucks hard. "I can’t. I won’t." Haruka licks him from base to tip
and Makoto is rendered incoherent. "Oh Haru… I don’t… Can’t…" He throws his
hands on his face, too hot to do anything else. He keeps moaning and babbling.
"…and a ve— vet in Tokyo… I can’t with you…"
Haruka stops as abruptly as he started blowing him and just looks at him, too
sharp, too heavy. Makoto swallows, throat suddenly dry and uncovers his face.
He has never come to the surface.
"I’ve changed my mind. I won’t hurt you if you decide to go to Tokyo."
"Haru…"
"I should kill Nagisa and Rei instead. After all, they came up with this idea,
didn’t they?"
Makoto feels like puking, eyes full of tears again. He wants to protest, to
deny this, to go back in time and make this day never happen. He just reaches
out, grabbing Haruka’s shoulders again, hyperventilating, trying to breath
through his mouth because it’s impossible to keep inhaling and Haruka is as
peaceful as the ocean before the storm and Makoto can feel it inside him.
"No…" He says faintly, weakly shaking his head. Haruka kisses him too rough,
teeth clashing, hips pushing against him and he moans because both erections
rub one against the other. And it’s too much, he’s going to die since he can’t
breath and Haruka keeps kissing him, stealing all his air.
"I should kill them." He speaks against his mouth. "I could drown them, make it
look like an accident." And he puts his hands around Makoto’s neck pressing
lightly, just enough for him to know what his next words are going to be. "Or
just strangle them maybe."
Makoto keeps crying, pleading. He’s hugging Haruka close but after a quick peck
on the lips Haruka lowers himself and resumes his previous activities. With his
mouth full he reaches behind and teases Makoto’s hole.
He pitches a breath unable to form anything, he only shakes his head from one
side to the other begging in his mind for Haru to not do anything like what
he’s promising.
"I could stab them too." He proposes, reaching for his backpack looking for the
little bottle of lube. "Multiple times. To teach them not to interfere."
"Haruharuharuha—-" He prays, one hand buried in dark hair, the other clawing at
the floor.
"I bet Nagisa is a screamer. And Rei, I could stab him with one of those things
he used to use to jump." Haru coats a finger in lube and presses. "Relax."
Comes the order and Makoto keeps crying, he feels like he could pass out at any
moment now.
"I won’t ever leave you. I won’t, I promise. I won’t go to Tokyo, I won’t go
anywhere. I wo—"
"Relax." Haruka commands but it seems it won’t help. Makoto is too agitated.
"It’s okay." But he only watches him with cold dead eyes.
"Don’t hurt them!"
"It’s okay."
They hug and Makoto hears his own heartbeats on his ears, air coming out in
hot, rushed puffs from his mouth. He’s sure he’s still murmuring and pleading
but he doesn’t mind. Haruka’s body is hot above him and he’s still hard and
Makoto tries to calm enough to perform tonight, he doesn’t want to anger
Haruka.
He wills the tears away and breathes in slowly.
Haruka reaches for his own erection and starts to masturbate himself, Makoto
feels every move and he has already drowned.
"It’s okay." He repeats once more but there’s no feelings behind it. So he
keeps stroking himself, ragged breath against Makoto’s neck.
Makoto tightens the grip and kisses his shoulder.
"Please." He finally says, he can’t resist it and Haruka takes his erection
into his hand too, stroking both at the same time. They moan and it’s messy and
somehow the tears come again.
It’s salty like the ocean and Makoto drinks in the warmth of Haruka’s body,
threatening words hanging above his head. He cries out when he comes and Haruka
follows suit a few strokes later, crashing against Makoto’s chest.
"I’m… I’m sorry."
"Just remember you can’t ever leave me."
*
Makoto smiles like always and still, Nagisa feels like there’s something wrong.
Makoto’s the same, at least he looks like always. And yet, there’s a touch of
something he can’t describe right now.
Sadness, he thinks. Or regret. It’s not a positive emotion, he’s sure of it.
But he’s Nagisa after all, loud and funny and he simply throws himself at
Makoto’s waiting arms for a hug.
"For when you’re not here." He explains. "I have to give you all the hugs now
as to not miss you so much when you’re in Tokyo."
And for less than a second Nagisa notices it, the flash of hurt in those green
lovely eyes. The smile doesn’t falter but it’s not the same, he just knows it.
"I won’t be going anywhere so don’t worry about missing me." Makoto keeps
walking through the school hallway.
Nagisa gapes at him like a fish out of the water and then follows him, walking
hurriedly. "What? Why?"
"It’s okay, I promise Nagisa."
"No, it’s not!" And Nagisa takes him by the arm, stopping him. Makoto flinches,
almost unperceivable, but Nagisa has a good eye. "Really, why would you drop
your dream so early on?"
"It’s just…" Makoto looks around, like he’s looking for someone. No one is
there and he continues. "I won’t be a good vet." He clarifies with a smile. "I
got really attached to pets and I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the job,
don’t you think? I couldn’t put dogs down, it would be too sad for me."
"Mako…"
"It’s okay. It’s just how things are supposed to be, you know? Like this. Me
staying here, with Haru-chan. I will find another dream."
But life doesn’t work like that, Nagisa knows. However, he stays silent and
watches Makoto go.
There’s something wrong. Definitely.
*
*
Rei breathes out, a tiny cloud forming around his nose and mouth. He tightens
the red scarf around his neck and hugs Nagisa closer.
"It hasn’t changed one bit."
"It hasn’t, it’s true."
They both stand there, watching Haru’s house. It’s not so huge anymore like it
used to look like when they were kids and teenagers. But somehow it’s still
exactly the same they so fondly remember. Nagisa smiles brightly and openly and
waits for Rei to ring the bell.
A few moments later, Makoto opens the door. Nagisa just hugs him without
waiting for any cue and Rei laughs - like the silly man in love he is. Makoto
returns the hug with an incredible strength and Nagisa could start crying but
Rei puts a hand on his shoulder and he finally releases Makoto.
"Such a long time, Mako-chan!"
And Makoto smiles at them but it’s not an honest smile and they notice
immediately, so much that Nagisa takes one step back.
"Are you okay?" Rei asks and Makoto looks disappointed.
"Yes, of course. Come on in guys, please."
Rei and Nagisa look at each other but they follow Makoto inside. In fact, the
house has literally not changed at all. Everything is where it used to be and
it’s pretty comforting.
"How was the honeymoon?" This time Makoto seems more at ease, more genuine.
"It was perfect!" Nagisa exclaims. "Rei-chan really impressed me with how well-
planned it was."
"Of course it was well-thought and well-planned." He fixes his glasses because
there are gestures you won’t ever lose. Nagisa laughs and pecks him in the
cheek before returning his attention to Makoto.
"How are you?"
"I’m fine. Haru and I are fine." And Makoto keeps smiling like this, broken and
tired. Nagisa and Rei can tell since they know him so well but they’re pretty
sure no one even suspects that’s not Makoto’s real smile. It’s sad and Nagisa
frowns in disapproval.
"Why are you still here? Please, Mako-chan, it’s time for you to get something
better than this!"
"I know we shouldn’t be saying this Makoto." And for a moment Rei is about to
add -sempai but those times are long gone, they’re not kids anymore. "But
Nagisa is right. You need something new in your life. We all know Haruka is not
making you happy anymore."
They both look so serious that Makoto has to laugh. Years have been good to
them, Nagisa still looks younger than Rei but they make such a cute couple,
Makoto - and no one for that matter - can’t ignore the two identical rings.
"It’s okay. I won’t leave." He finally answers. "This is where I belong like
you belong in each others arms."
"Makoto!" Nagisa screams, frustrated. "That’s not true! You deserve better. You
should be in Tokyo being the most good-looking and nice vet in Japan! And
instead, you’re trapped here, like a caged bird!"
"Again with that? I told you back then I couldn’t be a vet." Makoto is calm and
Nagisa grows more agitated by the second. Rei holds his hand, preventing him
from trying to shake some sense into Makoto.
"Why are you still here?"
"Because I love Haru. This is my place, I can’t ever leave him."
It’s like hearing a recorded tape, same sentences over and over again. Makoto
smiles again, and Nagisa and Rei cringe. This is not the same Makoto that
cheered for them in that first relay and it hurts.
"Argh! It’s impossible with you!"
But you keep coming back. Makoto’s eyes scream that and Nagisa feels his heart
drop. There’s gratefulness there, because they haven’t given him up yet.
Despite everything, Nagisa doesn’t think he could ever give him up.
Rei squeezes his hand, a clear signal. Nagisa sighs and nods.
"I guess we should get going." Rei speaks for them.
"Of course."
Makoto hasn’t offered them tea or anything but it would be rude to do that now
so he just walks them to the door where Nagisa hugs him again, softly this
time, hands gripping his clothes.
"I won’t give up on you." He whispers in his ear and Makoto feels the sting of
tears.
Rei hugs him too but doesn’t say anything and they go, just like that. He’s
about to start crying because he doesn’t understand how Nagisa can be so
persistent. And he’s so happy for them, he’s so happy that his friends can be
together like that and love each other so completely and so beautifully.
"Have they gone?"
"Yeah."
Haruka comes to hug him from behind, they both watch through the window how
Nagisa and Rei walk down the street, hand in hand, talking animatedly. His arms
tighten around his hips and Makoto rests his body against Haruka’s chest.
"Were they asking you to leave me again?" Makoto doesn’t need to reply.
"I won’t ever leave, Haru."
"Good. Because it still stands, you know? What I told you that night." And he
bites Makoto right there where neck meet shoulder, making him shiver. "I still
can kill them if I want to."
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