Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/13914546. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Haikyuu!! Relationship: Hinata_Shouyou/Ushijima_Wakatoshi Character: Hinata_Shouyou, Ushijima_Wakatoshi Additional Tags: Fluff_and_Smut, Alternate_Universe_-_College/University, College, Size Kink, Size_Difference, Established_Relationship Series: Part 2 of Meant_to_Be_(Soulmate_AU) Stats: Published: 2018-03-09 Words: 4829 ****** It Was Always You ****** by bealovelylady Summary Ushijima’s headed to college but him and Hinata have some things to figure out. Sequel to So It Was You, but can be read separately. Notes See the end of the work for notes The first time Ushijima kissed Hinata, it was like fireworks set off in his brain, lips tingling, heart racing. Hinata was soft and small, his lips round and plush, and he tasted like the strawberry cake he’d just been eating. They were sitting in Ushijima’s bedroom, and this was all so new to Ushijima. It had been not-quite two months of this barely boyfriends thing. Ushijima was still so unsure what to make of Hinata, what to make of their relationship that was still developing but seemed like it had flown into him at lightning speed like a high speed train. “So, college, huh?” Hinata said softly, picking at his bits of cake left, picking at his lips. He’d scooched closer to Ushijima for the kiss, hadn’t moved away yet either. Their arms were pressed lightly together and Ushijima felt hot all over, heat radiating from the places they touched. He stared down at the mop of orange hair, wanted so badly to touch it. How had they kissed before he’d touched Hinata’s hair? The answer was simple, of course: because Hinata was the only one making any moves so far. “Yeah. It’s only about two hours away by train, but it’s a good school for volleyball.” He trailed off, heart breaking as he watched Hinata’s eyes go sad. “You’ll still come home?” Hinata’s voice was so small, so shy, the quietest he’d ever heard the other boy. “I’ll have breaks,” was all he said. If he was braver, if he knew better that Hinata wanted the same things as him, he would tell him that he would come home every weekend, call him every day, they could Skype. But it was all still so new to Ushijima and so far only Hinata had made all the bold moves. “Breaks?” was all Hinata asked, his own voice cracking over the word. “We can... call each other.” Hinata was silent for a long time, and honestly it scared Ushijima. His ears rang. Hinata stared down at the floor, then he turned his head up and seemed to be inspecting Ushijima, trying to read his mind. Ushijima almost fell back when Hinata jumped to his knees and grabbed at Ushijima’s face. He was glad the bed behind him held him up. “Do you think... that’s enough?” Hinata asked, the words rushing out of him like a tidal wave. “Do you think I won’t be sad? You’re just leaving and we’ve only just started and I don’t know how you expect me to feel about it, but I’m really sad that you only wanna try to come home on breaks! What about weekends, what about me coming to see you?!” He was practically yelling by the end of it, face red, veins popping, out of breath. Ushijima could only stare wide eyed. “It’s not enough?” he asked, and then when he saw how Hinata’s face fell and the way he almost slumped away from him, lifeless, something kicked into overdrive, and he finally realized how hard it would be to be away from Hinata. Hinata who had invaded his life, turned all his ideals upside down, had moved into his heart and refused to leave. Hinata whom he would miss so... so much. “It’s not enough!” he declared, and he wrapped his arms around the small boy, pulled him to his chest, held him there. He buried his face in that soft pillow of hair, inhaled Hinata’s scent that had clung to everything since the first time Hinata had been in his room. “It’s never gonna be enough.” Hinata clung to Ushijima desperately and he thought of all the words he should say, about how he wanted Hinata with him every moment of every day, how he missed him even when Hinata just looked away for a moment, how he could no longer live without his smile, his laugh, his presence. How he wanted to kidnap Hinata, take him with him. Touch him all over, kiss him again, and again. But all he could muster was, “I’ll miss you.” His voice was quiet, muffled by Hinata’s hair, but he could tell the small boy had heard him well, by the way his hands clenched tighter and he buried his face in Ushijima’s neck. “Ushijima,” he breathed out, his words hot against the other’s neck, and Ushijima forgot how to breathe for a moment. Hinata did that to him a lot. “I’ll visit you as much as I can, and you can come see me whenever. I’ll call... every night.” Ushijima tried to remember what he was thinking as the words came out. He’d never been one to talk a lot, didn’t really see the need, but with Hinata, everything was different. Hinata couldn’t read his mind, he needed to tell him. When Hinata finally pushed back a little, away from Ushijima so he could look him in the eye, his were wet, but he was smiling again. “I’ll miss you a lot. And I’ll work hard. I’ve got three years left, but I swear I’ll join you when I graduate.” With his hands pressed against Ushijima’s chest, he leaned forward again on his lap and pressed their lips together. Ushijima had the mental fortitude to remain aware enough to kiss him back this time. He wrapped his long arms around Hinata’s small frame, pulled him close so their chests pressed together, and he made mental notes so he could remember everything: the feel of Hinata against his lips, how he tasted, how he kissed, how he fit in his arms, how he felt pressed against him. He memorized it all. Halfway into the kiss that turned into making out, he got a little hard and he knew Hinata felt it on his thigh and he could feel Hinata pressing against his stomach. They ignored their erections, pressed only deeper into the kiss, until Hinata was so distracted by how hard they both were that he pulled back. He was blushing bright red, up to his ears, all over his face. Ushijima found it terrifyingly endearing. Hinata wiped at his cheeks, trying to act like he wasn’t trying to hide his mad blush. It shot an arrow right through Ushijima’s heart. He wanted to touch Hinata, see him make more faces, but he also knew it was far too soon, could tell by the deer-in-headlights look Hinata was sporting, so he just reached a hand up and curled his fingers in Hinata’s hair, played with the soft strands as he watched Hinata. The other’s orange locks were as soft as Ushijima had imagined. They felt nice against his palm, pushed in between his fingers, rolled around the pads of his thumb and index finger. “Ushijima,” Hinata breathed again, having regained some more of his composure back now that their groins weren’t pressed together. “I really... I really like you.” Now it was Ushijima’s turn to grow red, a dusting of blush on his cheeks. It had always been implied, but this was the first time either of them had voiced their feelings aloud. Ushijima was trying to resuscitate his heart, find his response, but Hinata wasn’t done. “I’m so glad that you’re my boyfriend.” Hinata was grinning at him, eyes scrunched closed, like the adorable boy he was, but everything in Ushijima’s vision had gone white, the sound in his ears just muffled noises. Boyfriend. The word rattled around in his brain. He was Hinata’s boyfriend and Hinata was his... boyfriend. “My boyfriend?” he uttered, not aware that he’d spoken aloud until Hinata opened his eyes again and smiled down at the other. “Yeah,” he whispered. Ushijima just stared at Hinata, eyes wide, enraptured by the small boy in his lap. And then finally, he spoke again, clearing his throat. “I like you, too. Hinata. My boyfriend.” Hinata’s face lit up like the sun and he grabbed Ushijima’s cheeks, leaned forward and pressed fervent kisses to his lips. x College was hard. Being away from home was hard. Volleyball at college level was hard. It was all so much harder than Ushijima could have ever imagined it to be. But hardest of all was not seeing Hinata whenever he could, having to make do with phone calls as he walked home from late night classes or practice, Skype calls in his dorm room when his roommate was out. Hinata would come up and see him, try to at least, every other weekend, and Ushijima would try to come back home the other weekends. It was hard, but they were making it work, making do. They were making plans for spring break and Obon. And then Ushijima was introduced to finals. College finals. Can’t leave your room, can’t sleep cause you have to study kind of finals. The call he made to Hinata to tell him he couldn’t come home for spring break after all was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in college. “I understand,” Hinata had whispered finally, dejected, his voice breaking Ushijima’s heart. But there was nothing he could do. He’d thought for a long time, trying to find a solution, but none had come. The first few days of studying had gone all right. The phone calls he and Hinata had nightly were short, because he had to study, had to sleep. He thought he was managing fine, but one day, near the end of his finals period, Hinata called him and something clenched hard, deep inside Ushijima and when he touched his face, he realized he was crying as Hinata told him about the festival he’d gone to. “Ushijima?” Hinata asked when both had fallen silent. Ushijima had to bite back a sob. College was hard, way too hard without Hinata. Hurry up and graduate, he wanted to say. Hurry up and come live with me here. But he couldn’t say any of those things. Hinata was starting to get worried when Ushijima wouldn’t respond, calling his name and asking over and over what was wrong. When Ushijima couldn’t bear it anymore, was sure he would burst and reveal all of his dirty thoughts, about Hinata here, Hinata straddling him, Hinata in his arms, him inside Hinata... “I’ve got to go,” was all he could say. He hung up before the dam burst and clutched his phone to his chest as he sobbed. His phone dinged and buzzed in his hand with Hinata’s ring tone, but he just pulled his chair back to his desk and cried into his text books as he tried to study. If he could just get past his finals... The night before his last final, he’d fallen asleep atop his desk, his books; he had to most vivid dream about Hinata, about kissing Hinata, making love to Hinata. His roommate had to rouse him from his slumber, and he had to hide his boner with a textbook. He grabbed his phone just to look at the selfies and messages Hinata had sent him but then his fingers were typing out words and he pressed send before he could stop himself. /I miss you so much. I want to kiss you./ When he realized what he’d done, he was so scared off what Hinata would say, because if Hinata said he felt the same, Ushijima knew he would say, “Screw you, calculus final,” and be at Hinata’s door step in a heart beat, so he shut his phone off. He didn’t turn it on again until he finished his final. His voicemail was flooded, so many missed calls, so many text messages. All from Hinata. He trudged up his stairs as he read them all, listened to Hinata’s voice going from lovey dovey to hyperventilating, imagining the worst when Ushijima didn’t respond. He was so engrossed that when he heard his name yelled, he thought it was from the voicemail. “Ushijima, BAKA!” But the sound was too loud, and then there were thundering foot steps coming closer, closer, and Ushijima looked up just in time to see a blur of orange as a small form collided with his chest. If he was a smaller man himself, the force would have sent him reeling back, but even as surprised as he was, he stood firm. Something small and fiery was yelling at him, pounding on his chest, and he looked down in confusion. “Hinata?” he finally managed to ask. “Of course it’s me, dumb ass! How could you just text me that and then turn your phone off, I thought you were dead! I had to scrape together all my change to buy a train ticket and I’ve been sitting here for hours!” Hinata was fuming, screeching, but Ushijima just stared down at him, dumbstruck. He grabbed one of Hinata’s fists with his free hand and choked out, “What are you doing here?” The question gave Hinata pause for a split second as he stared wide-eyed, in disbelief up at his tall boyfriend. “I’m here cause I missed you too, spring break was miserable! And don’t you think I wanna kiss you too-?” Hinata’s last words were swallowed up by Ushijima’s lips as he pulled the smaller boy up to meet him by the back of his head, other arm dropping his book bag to come around Hinata’s waist. The kiss was short, too short, but it made Ushijima remember all the things he loved about Hinata, all the things he missed. “Baka,” Hinata whispered again as they pulled apart and Ushijima just smiled down at him fondly. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the shell of Hinata’s ear. “Come inside,” he breathed out. Because the things he wanted to do to Hinata were not appropriate for outdoors. As soon as the door was closed, Ushijima had the other boy in his arms again, pressed against the wall, and their lips feverishly moving together. Hinata wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, tiny hands and fingers pressing against his scalp, threading in his hair, pulling him closer. There was no room to even breathe. Ushijima was already so hard. And he let Hinata know it too, by grinding his hips against the other, and he felt Hinata’s breath stutter, his lips falter a little, before returning with a heated ferocity. “Can I?” Ushijima pulled back a little to ask, grinding his hips again. Hinata was panting, fingers clutching in Ushijima’s short hair, his eyes fluttering, half shut. “Yes, please, Ushijima. I’ve been waiting so long.” That was all Ushijima needed. He grabbed at Hinata’s ass, pulled him up as Hinata wrapped his legs around his waist, hooked his feet. Ushijima reached back and yanked off Hinata’s shoes, his lips attacking Hinata’s, tongue licking out to taste, as he shifted out of his own sneakers. The journey to Ushijima’s bed was short but arduous. When he was finally seated, his small boyfriend on his lap, he teased his fingers under the hem of Hinata’s shirt, desperate to just tear it off. But he wanted to maintain what little control he had left, wanted to do this right, be gentle. Hinata, however, was having none of that. “Please,” he was begging against Ushijima’s lips, between kisses. “Take it off!” He accentuated his desperate words with a bite to Ushijima’s bottom lip. And Ushijima did. He pulled back and worked to take Hinata’s shirt off, over his head, his hair bouncing back in place when it went over, and then Hinata’s small hands were at his own shirt, tugging, lifting, and he helped Hinata take that off too. Under his shirt, Hinata was slim but toned, his muscles under his skin the quietest thing about him. They rolled and twitched beautifully as Ushijima pressed his fingers against his breast bone. Hinata was so different from Ushijima, who was large and bulky muscles and lightly tanned skin to Hinata’s pale milkiness. But nothing felt better than pressing their skin together, their fingers exploring. Ushijima trailed his lips down Hinata’s cheek, his jaw bone, his neck, which he presented unceremoniously for the other. Collarbones that showed too clearly, slim shoulders and pale pectorals were nipped at. Ushijima grabbed at Hinata, under his arm pits, lifted him up like a small child until his feet were planted on the ground. He pulled Hinata’s hips back to him, between his legs, as he kissed and licked at the small pink buds on his chest, teased them until Hinata was squirming in his arms, his nipples hard. Then he trailed his lips down again, over ribs, flat stomach, tiny outie belly button, his fingers already working at Hinata’s jeans. Hinata helped him by wiggling his hips, until his pants were down to his ankles and he yanked them off his feet one by one, lips finding Ushijima’s again. Ushijima was not prepared for what Hinata in boxer briefs in front of him would do to his heart. He stared for a long time, fingers reaching out carefully to trace over the waistband, the cut off of fabric around toned thighs. He remembered those thighs from the day Hinata had showed up at his old high school in gym shorts. But now he could touch them, the soft, milky skin. Hinata was so hard in his underwear, the outline of his dick so clear, a wet spot forming where the head was. And he was moaning, sniveling, begging Ushijima to touch him more, harder. “Hinata,” Ushijima breathed out, suddenly painfully aware that he also was so hard, straining far too uncomfortably against his own jeans. He grabbed Hinata, pulled him to lay on his bed, before standing up and removing his own bottoms, pants and underwear together. And Hinata actually gasped when Ushijima stood up again. Worry crossed Ushijima’s features, afraid that maybe Hinata was getting scared now, but then the other was licking his lips and scrambling to remove his own underpants, simultaneously crawling forward on hands and knees until he was face to face with Ushijima’s mighty erection. “Wow,” Hinata breathed hot against it, making it twitch a little. A wicked grin spread on his lips as he stuck his tiny tongue out and licked at Ushijima’s shaft. Ushijima’s breath hitched and came out in a shudder. “Hinata,” he groaned possessively. He wanted to grab Hinata’s head, push his face into his dick, his fingers itching for it. But he knew he had to not be rough, this was their first time. Hinata was exploring Ushijima with his tongue and lips, his breaths coursing over wetted skin, making Ushijima shiver and buck his hips. Hinata actually giggled when Ushijima’s cock smacked against his face. Ushijima had to bite his lip and call Hinata’s name out in a warning. Brown eyes searched up to meet his and the other boy just smiled sweetly. He scooched forward a bit more, sat back on his haunches, and wrapped his hands around Ushijima. “Ahh,” Ushijima groaned on an exhale. He thought he could cum right then and there. Sometimes all he had been able to think about was Hinata’s hands on him like this, his mouth, his tongue- wait, whoa! Before Ushijima could blink, Hinata was trying to inhale the top of Ushijima’s dick into his mouth. He was choking a little bit, pressing forward determinedly still, and as much as he didn’t want Hinata to stop, he had to pull the smaller boy back. “Whoa, Hinata, take it slow!” Hinata was still grasping at his dick, licking his lips, pulling against Ushijima’s hold on him. Ushijima had to shake him a little. “It’s your first time, just- take your time! I’m not going anywhere.” Hinata was silent for a moment, and then he nodded. “You know you don’t have to do this!“ Ushijima said even though he wanted so badly for Hinata to. But it was a lot, a lot at one time, he couldn’t- But Hinata, like always, burst the bubble of his expectations of the small boy. “But I want to, Ushijima.” And that look, the pouty look with eyes cast up at him, half-lidded, fuck if that wasn’t illegal in every continent in the world. Ushijima shuddered. “Okay,” he whispered, loosening his grip a little on Hinata’s hair, guiding him back forward. “Then, please. Slowly.” Hinata nodded again and nuzzled at Ushijima’s hot, throbbing member for a second. Then he licked at the head and slowly enclosed it in his mouth again. He worked tirelessly, licking and sucking and slowly taking him in deeper until Ushijima felt like he would burst any moment. He pulled Hinata back and Hinata actually whined. “My turn,” he told the smaller male. From under his bed, he grabbed condoms and lube, bought the day they’d started planning their spring break week together. He set them aside and joined Hinata on the bed, pressing in between Hinata’s legs. He hooked his arms around the smaller ones thighs and dragged him up. Hinata was so wet at his tip, his cock twitching excitedly, and when Ushijima spread his ass cheeks, something else was twitching too. He pressed a finger gently to Hinata’s entrance. “Is this okay?” he asked, a little breathy. Hinata squirmed in his grasp and huffed out a, yes, just hurry. Ushijima didn’t need to hear anymore. He leaned down and pressed his hot tongue against Hinata’s hole. The small boy squeaked, so loud like a creaky door, wiggled, pressed his hips closer. Whispered for Ushijima to continue, do more. Between his fingers and his tongue, it didn’t take him long to open Hinata up wide. The smell coming off his skin, Hinata in heat, was intoxicating to say the least, and Ushijima just wanted to stay like this forever. But his cock was throbbing, aching to be inside. He set Hinata down again carefully, Hinata lost and making the most adorable noises that were going straight to his erection, making it hard to roll on his condom with how his hands shook. When it was on, generous amounts of lube were applied, and then Ushijima grabbed Hinata’s hips, tried to still them enough to line himself up. He cooed down at his lover, his boyfriend. His soulmate. “I’m coming in,” he told the smaller male, who just nodded and moaned out his name in short clips. And he pressed against Hinata’s hole, pressed in just a little. Hinata’s scream tore through the small room and he froze. Big wet tears escaped his wide brown eyes. His lips had closed, teeth clenched around the end of the scream. “Hinata?” Ushijima quivered out as he watched Hinata’s lips tremble. He had known, had known this would be too much. He was moving to pull out but then Hinata’s hands were on him, begging him please, to stay. “You’re in pain!” Ushijima explained, but Hinata stubbornly shook his head. “Please, Ushijima. I can do it.” His eyes forced Ushijima’s to stay in him. “I want you, Wakatoshi.” A primal noise escaped Ushijima’s lips. His eyes fluttered a little as he fought to regain his control. “Just... tell me if it hurts again,” he managed to grunt out to the smaller male, and Hinata nodded. And he pushed in slow, agonizingly slow. Every time Hinata squeezed his eyes shut or seemed to choke on his breath, he stopped, pulled out a little. Each time, Hinata would urge him back again with heated looks and whispered assurances. It took forever, but the forever was worth it when he was fully seated inside Hinata, the small male quivering and shuddering happily underneath him. His hands clutched at Ushijima’s back, lips murmured up to him, kissing at cheeks and eyes and lips. Ushijima wanted to cry. How strong and how brave and how beautiful his Hinata was. He buried his face in the crook of Hinata’s neck, inhaled him, memorized everything. “Hinata,” he whispered, again and again. It was overwhelming. “Wakatoshi, please hold me,” Hinata whimpered out, tiny hands clasping at his neck, and if only Hinata knew what he did to Ushijima. Warm hands pushed under Hinata, circled around him, and carefully he lifted Hinata up, seating him carefully in his lap. Hinata gasped for a moment, his eyes going wide, but then his face softened and he smiled, so sweetly. He nuzzled his forehead against Ushijima’s. “You’ll probably have to do most of the work,” Hinata giggled for a moment, and then his voice turned to velvety seduction. Ushijima wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to how quickly Hinata could switch between these two sides of his, how they were both, very much, just Hinata. “Please move, Wakatoshi.” “Hinata,” Ushijima grunted out. “That’s... not fair.” “I know. But you’re not fair either.” Hinata’s eyes were lit with fire; he looked like he did on the court, hyper- focused, only his victory in sight. Ushijima could do nothing but nod under that unrelenting gaze. “And when you call my name,” Hinata said as he leaned forward to whisper into Ushijima’s ear, “call me properly. Okay, Wakatoshi?” The words shit straight to his dick, and he huffed as he shifted his hips a little, moving inside Hinata’s tightness. And the noise that Hinata made urged Ushijima to chase it, to have Hinata make more noises like that. And he did. With every thrust and small movement, every kiss on heated skin and hands pressing him closer, the best sounds in the world slipped from Hinata’s lips. Ushijima added to the symphony with his short, labored breaths. Moving inside Hinata was making him sweat, but there was nothing as enjoyable as this sensation. Even volleyball couldn’t compare to being wrapped inside Hinata. His climax rushed up on him like a freight train. He suckled at Hinata’s shoulder as the other mewled out broken versions of his name. Into that red- spotted soft skin, he whispered, “Shouyo, I’m gonna cum.” And Hinata just nodded and bobbed his head, urging Ushijima on with small noises and his bright smile. Ushijima reached a hand between them and pumped slowly at Hinata’s cock. Hinata’s head slumped forward and he was finally speechless as Ushijima thrust hard into him a few more times, pumped his fist, and soon Hinata was cumming hard over Ushijima’s flexed abs and stomach. He whimpered and moaned out, “-Toshi,” and Ushijima felt his own orgasm hit him then, even as Hinata clenched tight around him. “Shouyo,” he murmured into the smaller man’s ear. His cheek was pressed into that soft cloud of hair and he could smell Hinata, his wonderfully soft scent. It was intoxicating, the feelings, the smell, the sounds and sensations. Overwhelming. He held Hinata tight to his chest, afraid to move, not wanting to break the moment. Slowly Hinata’s hands came up and pressed against his back. He nuzzled into Ushijima’s neck, pressed soft, tender kisses there. Ushijima hummed happily, even as Hinata’s cum dried between them. “I don’t think I can move,” Hinata told him after a while, still holding tight to him. “It’s okay, I’ll carry you to the bath,” Ushijima reassured. “That was amazing,” Hinata confided. “Yeah,” Ushijima whispered back. He pressed his nose into Hinata’s hair. “Shouyo.” Hinata perked up a little. “Will you call me that from now on? Maybe not all the time, but especially in bed, or when you’re kissing me?” Ushijima nodded. “And is it all right... if I call you Toshi?” Ushijima’s lips quirked a little, a thrill riding up his spine. He’d always hated any nicknames others tried to give him, but something about Hinata and the way he said his name made it totally fine. “Sorry my name is a mouthful,” he murmured, but Hinata just smiled. “I think Toshi fits you better anyways.” “Really?” Ushijima asked, bewildered. Everyone had always told him his name fit someone silent, stoic, and stiff like him. But Hinata, who saw the whole world differently, who loved Ushijima when most people found him a great annoyance, Hinata whom he loved so dearly, of course he would think differently. Because Hinata had seen a side of Ushijima that Ushijima didn’t even recognize. He tipped his chin and pressed a light kiss to Hinata’s lips. “Shouyo.” And Hinata cupped Ushijima’s face in his tiny hands. “Toshi, can I tell you something? And you can’t freak out and go all silent and make a scary face.” Ushijima wondered if he did those things, is that how Hinata saw it, but he nodded, curious. “I love you, Toshi. I love you a whole lot.” A tear glinted in his eye. “I’m so glad... so glad you’re mine.” Ushijima could feel his own tears burning at the back of his eyes. “Shouyo,” he breathed out, giving the smaller male tiny kisses. His happiness, his sunshine, his soulmate and the love of his life. His Shouyo. “I love you too,” he grinned, the sight stunning with how rare it was to behold. “I love you a whole lot too, Shouyo.” I’m so glad you’re my soulmate. End Notes Ahh, these two have stolen my heart, I’m sorry. My best friend introduced me to size kink and I am not the same person I once was. I am a better person. Lol Hope you guys enjoyed! Comments and kudos always appreciated <3 Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!