Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1737731.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski
  Character:
      Derek_Hale, Stiles_Stilinski
  Additional Tags:
      Hurt_Stiles, Bottom_Stiles_Stilinski, Top_Derek_Hale, Frontotemporal
      Dementia, Sad, Sad_Derek, Pack_Feels, Character_Death, might_make_you
      cry, You_Have_Been_Warned, im_sorry, Sickness
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-06-03 Completed: 2014-08-26 Chapters: 5/5 Words: 8219
****** It Doesn't Mean I Don't Love You ******
by SimpleSourWolf
Summary
     There are no werewolves, nothing supernatural has ever happened in
     Beacon Hills. Stiles Stilinski is 17 years old, his boyfriend is
     Derek Hale, the creepy stalker looking guy who stays in his loft
     unless he’s with stiles. Stiles finds out he has frontotemporal
     dementia and shit goes down.
Notes
     I seen this youtube, mini sterek movie thing and it made me cry...I
     wanted to write a fan fiction like it....
See the end of the work for more notes
***** something isn't right *****
“D?” Stiles calls as he walks into the loft, throwing his keys down on the
counter, “I’m home, and tired and you promised you’d give me a massage today!”
There’s no answer and he mumbles something along the lines of he always fucking
does this, lucky I love the little shit. He plops down on the couch and flicks
on the TV that Stiles made him buy. Hey, if he was gonna be over here everyday,
there had to be something to do.
He checked the time, wondering what Derek could possibly be doing with his life
that doesn’t involve being at home. He snickered at the thought of Derek being
forced by Laura to go out shopping. His eyes began to drift shut, the effects
of his day plus the amount of sleep he’d lost due to nightmares catching up to
him. He tried to to fight the drowsiness, knowing that when he fell asleep he’d
be thrown into another nightmare.
And that’s exactly what he did.
He dreamed he was getting ready for bed, throwing on a sleep shirt and his
checkered pajama bottoms. He ran his hand through his hair once or twice,
before heading over to his bed.
In the dream, he had a mother, a father and a little baby brother. His parents
room just across the hall, and the babys room just across from that. He laid
down in his bed, pulling the sheets up to his chin and shut the light off
before closing his eyes. He began to think of happy things, of Derek, of his
friends, of his dad, of the plans they had for the summer. Derek had, promised
to take him to New York one day, to show him anything he wanted.
He heard his window slide open, now a days that was normal. He assumed that
Derek was just crawling in to say good night and wish him sweet dreams, like he
usually did. But Stiles wanted to see him, wanted to talk to him for a bit
before bed. However, when he went to open his eyes, a voice, like claws being
scraped across a blackboard spot.
“Don’t open your eyes, if you value your life.” It spoke. Stiles felt fear
spread through his body, shivers racing down his spine, “Listen closely boy.
You will not open your eyes, if you do, all hell will break lose, and we will
kill you. Do you understand?”
Stiles nodded shakily, not daring to move or even make a sound.
“Good.” The voice spoke. Footsteps led away from his bed and out of his room.
He laid there for what seemed like hours, but could of only been minutes or
even seconds. As time ticked by, nothing happened, the house was quiet except
for the hum of the fridge downstairs. He figured it was jump a nightmare and
that he’d woken up from it. That there was no reason that he couldn't open his
eyes.
Big mistake.
Piercing, blood curdling screams erupted from the house. He snapped his eyes
shut immediately, hoping to stop them. It didn't work. The screams grew louder
and louder, higher and higher until he had to cover his ears. However, he kept
his eyes shut in fear of what he might of see.
He heard his parents scream, a gun shot, more screaming. But it didn't stop. He
was stuck, rooted to his bed in fear. He wished to wake up. That it’d all just
be a dream. The screams died down, and the house was covered in silence again.
Like nothing ever happened.
He cautiously opened an eye, nothing happened. But sight, was just as bad.
Blood covered the walls and the floor. Small, bloody foot prints lead out of
his room and into the hallway.
His parents.
He shot out of his bed and ran across the hall, and stopped. A shaky habd
covered his mouth. This room was worse. Blood covered walls and floors. Sheets,
pillows, blankets, windows, mirrors. His mom lay on the ground, her head laying
a few feet from her body. His dad, laying half on the bed, half off. His gun
just out of reach from him. Slashes covered his body.
He remembered his baby brother just across the hall and there was hope, that
maybe, they hadn't touched him. His door, still closed. He opened it
cautiously. The room, was too, covered in blood as well. The once baby blue
walls now a sickening crimson. Stiles looked into the rib, and breathed a sigh
of relief, seeing that the baby, while still covered in blood, appeared
unharmed.
The small infant opened its eyes and smiled at its big brother. Demanding that
it should be held. Stiles picked him up, cooing that everything would be okay.
But it’s eyes turned black and its mouth split into a sickening, yellow, sharp
toothed  grin.
“You shouldn't have opened your eyes.”
He screamed.
"Hey, I got you. Just wake up. C’mon Stiles. Wake up. Wake up!”
Stiles lashed out, trying to get away from whatever was holding him, “No!” He
screamed, “Let me go! Please!”
“Stiles, shhhh. It’s me. You’re okay. You’re okay.” The voice said.
Stiles whimpered, trying to place to voice to a face. The soft, soothing sounds
calmed his heart rate and he looked up, seeing Derek’s concerned gaze.
“You’re okay.” He soothed, running his hands through the boys hair.
Stiles let out a breath, slumping back against Derek’s chest. “You’re home.” He
said breathlessly.
Derek nodded, “I could hear you screaming from outside the door.” He said, “Bad
dream?”
Stiles nodded, “The worst.”
"Wanna talk about it?” Derek asked.
Stiles shook his head, “What I want, is my damn massage.” He grinned up.
Derek grinned and shook his head, kissing Stiles’ temple lovingly, “To the
bedroom then.”
Stiles practically jumped up and ran to the bedroom. He’d been looking forward
to this all day, his shoulders were tense and his back had knots in it.  A long
day at school complete with being tackled multiple times at lacrosse practice.
He threw off his clothes, wrapping his lower body in a towel and practically
jumping on the bed. He giggled with excitement as Derek walked in the room.
Derek promised that one day stiles would get a massage and when he said that
he'd do it today, stiles nearly screamed with excitement. He'd heard that the
man had magical hands.
He relaxed the second that Derek's hands touched the skin of his shoulders,
"you're so tense." He commented softly.
Stiles nodded, closing his eyes, "well you know, nightmares, schools me
lacrosse practice does that to you." He mumbled softly, nuzzling his cheek into
the soft pillow.
"More nightmares huh?"
Stiles nodded, "for about a week straight now." He sighed, feeling a knot come
undone already.
"Anything else I should know about?" Derek asked.
"Anxiety. A lot of it. I can't sleep. Um...I'm...I think I'm starting to
hallucinate too." Stiles said hesitantly, "nothing major. Just...words floating
off of the pages and stuff."
"Maybe you should go get it checked out." Derek said, his voice laced with
concerned, "it sounds serious."
Stiles shrugged, shivering as Derek's hands went lower and lower, "I'm sure
it's nothing a few sleeping pills can't cure. I'll be fine." He whimpered
softly, "but god, please don't stop."
Derek chuckled, recognizing the hint of neediness in his boyfriends voice, "and
what if I do?"
"I might have to kill you." Stiles said in a breathy voice as Derek began to
kiss his shoulders and down his back, sending shivers down his spine and all
blood rushing south, "asshole."
Derek smirked against his back, "something wrong, stiles?"
Stiles shook his head, "just...please?" He asked the unspoken question.
"You're not ready."
Stiles huffed, "at least....touch? Please?"
Derek nodded, placing his fingers at the top of the towel that was hiding the
boys gorgeous ass, "I love you."
"Mmmm, love you too der." Stiles mumbled back.
 
***** This can't be hppening *****
He did take the sleeping pills, which resulted in more nightmares.  He took
more, and the result was no different. So he stopped. But Derek didn't know. He
couldn't, he freak out if he found out that Stiles wasn't getting any better.
Needless to say, things weren't getting any better. In fact, they were getting
worse.  He found himself not talking, or acting different, even around Derek.
He didn't want to leave the house. Ever.  He ate practically everything Derek
bought or almost nothing.
His behavior was off. Way off. Some days. he’ be himself., but other days, he’d
be a whole different person. Crabby, bitchy, mean and just down right nasty.
Today though, he was just sad.
“Stiles?” Derek asked as he walked into the house, he was greeted almost
immediately by the smaller man running into his arms, tears streaming down his
face, “Hey, what's wrong?”
Stiles shrugged and whined, burying his face into Dereks shirt. Derek wrapped
his arms around his for a moment or two, just letting the smaller man hug him,
“You’re not gonna move are you?” He asked.
Stiles shook his head, wrapping his arms tighter around Dereks neck as the
older man  picked him up and moved him to the bed, letting Stiles cuddle the
shit out of him. They laid there for what felt like hours, tears still
streaming down Stiles’ face, his breaths coming in hiccups and soft sobs.
“You gonna talk to me or what?” Derek asked gently, rubbing the boys back.
Stiles stayed silent for awhile longer, gathering his thoughts together, “I’m
just so sad. “ He started, “And I don't even  know why, I just feel....like
nothing’s okay. I’ve been so different. It’s...it’s like i'm PMSing or
something.” he hesitated, and Derek knew, that something was wrong.
“What is it?” he asked, “Stiles...what’s wrong.” He said urgently when the boy
didn't respond.
“I....I think I need to go get checked for...something. I already made an
appointment..” the younger man said quietly.
“Do you know what you’re looking for?” Derek asked, “How do you know that
something's wrong?”
Stiles closed his eyes and took a breath, “This is what I remember my mom going
through.”
Derek froze. He remembered the day Stiles opened up to him about his mom. How
he'd cried and said how hard it was to see her like that. He stared into the
pools of whiskey brown that stared up at him sadly, “I.....” Derek started,
“Are you sure? I mean...You...I...” He couldn't get anything out, the thought
alone of Stiles having to go through that-
“Der? Hey, no. Don't start with the tears on me. I don’t know for sure..”Stiles
sat up quickly, sitting on top of Derek and cupping his face, “We don’t know
for sure. It probably isn't even that, I’m probably just...super tired or
getting a bad flu or something. It’ll be okay.” He leaned down, kissing his
face over and over.
Derek nodded, holding Stiles against him, “When’s your appointment?”
“Tomorrow at 10.” Stiles mumbled, “Will you come with me?”
“Of course I will.” Derek said softly, kissing the top of the younger mans head
softly, “I wouldn’t let you go do that alone.”
“Promise?”
Derek looked at him,”Stiles. I wouldn't leave you for the world.”
Stiles nodded, “I know..it’s just that...my dad....when my mom was sick..he
kind of...left..for a few days. I was there when she died...but he wasn't.”
Derek sighed, pulling him closer again, “I’d never leave you like that. I
promise.”
Stiles mumbled something against Derek's chest, closing his eyes lightly,
feeling the lack of sleep catch up to him, he shook his head trying to stay
awake.
“Sleep, Stiles. I’m right here, nothing’s going to happen to you.” Derek
soothed, feeling his body tense against him.
Stiles nodded, letting his body slip into a deep sleep. Derek watched him
carefully, waiting for the first signs of a nightmare to flash across the boys
face.
He sighed to himself, what would he do if stiles was  actually sick? Or
worse..dying?
~~~~
The ride to the hospital was silent, both men knew what could happen, they
didn't have to discuss it. Stiles fought to keep his eyes open int he car,
nightmares had kept him up all night once again. He couldn't shake the feeling
that something had was going to happen. He felt it. Something was wrong.
When Derek parked the car in the parking lot, they sat in silence for a few
moments, staring at each other.
"Are you sure you want to?" Derek asked, "we could wait a bit longer, if you
want."
Stiles shook his head, taking a breath, "No. If I don't do this now, I'll never
do it. I have to." He looked over at his boyfriend, forcing a smile at him,
"ready?"
Derek nodded. He and stiles got out of the car and they walked into the
hospital, their hands sliding into a hold automatically as they waited. Derek
could tell that stiles was on edge, he was sleep deprived and ready to burst.
Just  little more pressure..and he's be down. He rubbed their thumbs together
lightly, an unspoken signal of comfort to the other.
"Stilinski?" The nurse asked and stiles stood up, he followed the nurse into
the room, throwing one last sad smile over to Derek.
When he was out of sight, Derek put his head in his hands. He knew that this
wouldn't end right. Nothing ever did.
"What's he getting checked for?" A voice asked.
He looked up, seeing Melissa mccall standing there, looking concerned,
"frontotemporal dementia." He said softly, looking back down.
He heard her gasp softly, when he looked back up, she had tears swimming in her
eyes, she took his hand and led him into the room where stiles was siting to do
his MRI. He waved sadly over to where Derek was, Derek returned a soft smile.
"He'll be okay Derek." Melissa said, rubbing his arm In a comforting way, "you
can go in and see him for a little, but then you have to be out in the waiting
room.
Derek nodded, going Into the white room where stiles was sitting on the MRI
bed, staring at the floor. Derek walked closer to the boy, his hands going for
the skinny waist, their foreheads pressing together as stiles tried to keep it
together.
"Let it out, stiles." Derek whispered, kissing his nose gently.
Tears fell down the smooth, soft cheeks in front of his, stiles' arms wrapping
around Derek's neck as he buried his head in the crook of his neck, his breath
hitching with every silent sob he let out. They stood there, Derek rubbing
stiles back comfortingly, for what felt like hours, before stiles spoke.
"I'm scared, Derek." He spoke, his words muffled, "I'm so fucking scared."
Derek wrapped his arms tighter around him, "I know stiles...me too." He
confessed, "I'm scared to."
"What are we gonna do?" Stiles asked, pulling away and look up at the man he
loved, "what am I supposed to do? I...how am I supposed to even...what if..."
His eyes filled up with tears again, spilling down his cheeks as maintained eye
contact.
"We'll get through this. One way or another. We'll do it."  Derek said. Stiles
nodded, pressing a kiss to Derek's mouth, their lips tasting of tears, "I
promise."
When Derek was told he had to go back into the waiting room, they shared one
final kiss before he left, going back to worry in the waiting room. Melissa
staying with him the whole Time. But he was left alone with his thoughts. What
if stiles was sick? What would he do? How would he get through it? Could he
survive it? They talked about their future all the time, what would happen to
that? How long would he have? All these questions circled in his mind, making
him more and more worried as the time passed. His knee bounced nervously, his
palms were sweaty and he was fidgeting, much to the annoyance of everyone else
in the room. But he didn't care. He wanted a long, happy life with stiles, but
would he even still get that?
"Derek hale?"
He looked up to see the nurse, she wore an unreadable expression, "stiles is
finished, you may see him now."
She barely got passes "finished" as Derek's as already up and practically
running to the room where stiles was dressed in his own clothes, his face still
tear stained. Derek wrapped him in a hug, muttering that it'd be okay. Melissa
came in the room as well, running stiles back as they waited for the doctor to
come back.
"Alright stiles. I have...news for you." He spoke, looking down at his
clipboards.
Derek squeezed stiles' hand gently, panic rising in his chest as he seen the
look in the doctors eyes.
"What is it?" Stiles whispered, so quiet he could barely be heard.
"You have frontotemporal dementia, but, it's still in its early stages, you
still have what seems to look like nearly 3 or 4 years to live. I'm sorry."
Everything froze. Time seemed to slow down as Derek turned to stiles, watching
as tears slid down his cheeks, as he shut everyone else out. It hit him hard,
he was dying. And not like everyone else, he was dying. He had limited time,
nothing could stop it, incurable. Stiles faintly heard someone trying to get
him to talk. But the only thing he could hear was that he had dementia. Like
his mother.
When he came back to his senses he was in Derek's arms, sobbing harder than
he's ever sobbed before, he was aware of his lips moving, but he had no control
over them.
"I don't wanna die. I don't. I..I'm too young. I can't. Don't want to." He
sobbed into Derek's shoulder.
"I know stiles. I know." Derek said softly, his own voice laced with tears and
fear, "I don't want you to either."
After a few more minutes of that, Melissa spoke, "take him home Derek. He needs
rest."
Derek nodded, maneuvering the smaller man so that they were walking towards the
car, all the while stiles was still shaking his head and sobbing.
"I want to go see my dad." He wailed when they were in the car, "I need to."
"Stiles. I think we should do that when you are thinking pro-"
"NOW!" He screamed, "I want to see him now. It can't wait. Just...go!" He
brought his knees to his chest, screaming into  them.
"Ok. Ok we can go." Derek said after a moment of staring at the boy in shock.
He never yelled like that. Ever.
~~~~
"Dad." Stiles cried into the sheriff's uniform.
"Stiles?" His dad asked, shocked, "wha...what are you doing? What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry dad. I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't of lied to you, that fight was my
fault. I miss you and I'm so, so sorry. I wish it never happened. I love you. I
need you. And I'm not ready to...I'm not...i.." He broke into a sob again.
It's true. Stiles lied to his father one too many times. They fought, stiles
ran away. Vowing that he'd never want to see him again. Stiles ran to Derek,
saying how much he hated him and that he couldn't live there anymore.
The sheriff looked up at Derek, concerned and confused as to why both men were
crying, "it's okay stiles. It okay. But what aren't you ready for?" He asked,
"what's wrong?"
By now, stiles couldn't do anything but sob. He felt like his lungs were going
to burst from the lack of air. His face was soaked in tears and he didn't even
want to think about what he looked like. He just shook his head, and looked to
Derek, silently asking the man to explain. And so he did. He explained
everything, right from when stiles began having nightmares and losing sleep,
until just now. Where stiles was dying.
"He has maybe 4 years at most." His voice cracking.
"Stiles." Sheriff whispered, "no...no no no. Not you too." He croaked, hugging
his son tighter.
Derek watched for a moment, father and son who haven't spoken in months, crying
together because something was going to separate them for good. He met eyes
with the sherif, nodding at one another before Derek backed out of the room,
given them their space.
From the living room, he could hear the sobs of his boyfriend, the took him
apart. Wrenched his heart straight from his chest. He wondered yet again, how
this could happen to them. Them of all people. They didn't deserve it, lord
knows that.  He knew it was going to be hard on them, until they accepted it,
until they began to take advantage of the time they have left. I need him, he
thought to himself, he's my other half. I can't love without him. This can't be
happening.
This can't be happening.
 
***** Forgetting *****
Chapter Summary
     pretty much just sex
That's exactly what everyone else said. Said it was a dream, that they'd all
wake up soon enough. Said it wasn't real. It'd been months since they got the
news, and stiles had been in Derek's bed for the first few weeks, until things
started to get back to normal. They continued on with their lives as if Stiles
wasn’t dying. As if his body wasn’t a ticking time bomb. Stiles stopped having
nightmares and he felt...almost normal again. If it wasn’t for his monthly
check ups, he would swear that he was 100% fine. But they both knew that he
wasn’t. Some nights, he still broke down, cried into Derek’s shoulder like it
was the only thing he knew how to do.
 
Today marked the 5 month since they found out. The doctors said the dementia
was spreading faster than they thought. It looked like he only had maybe 2
years now, maybe less considering that some of Stiles’ memory was fading
already.
 
Stiles drove home with one thing on his mind.
 
Derek.
 
He wanted the older man, couldn’t wait any longer. He was dying, dammit. He was
not dying a virgin. No way. He still had so many kinks to try out, so many
things he wanted to do. And the more he thought about them, the hornier he got.
 
He had only been in the house seconds before he was shoving Derek’s laptop off
of his lap, replacing it with himself before kissing Derek hungrily. The older
man grunted in surprise before going with it,forgetting about his laptop and
putting his hands on Stiles` slim waist.
 
“Hello to you too..” He breathed in between kisses.
 
“Want you so much, can’t wait anymore Der...” Stiles said in a lust filled
whisper, “Need you to fuck me.”
 
Derek growled at the words, “I still don’t think you’re-”
 
“Im ready,” Stiles whined, grinding down on the older man, “Im sosososososo
ready. I’ve been ready for months just please.” He begged, tugging on Derek’s
ear lobe eagerly.
 
“A-are you sure?” Derek stuttered, holding on desperately to the little control
that he had left.
 
“What part of please don`t you understand?” Stiles growled , leaning down to
attack the older mans mouth with one purpose only.
 
Derek let his control slip away, all reason to wait any longer fell away the
second Stiles kissed him hungrily. He forgot and lost himself in the young boy
who was currently in his lap, holding onto him like he was the last thing he’d
ever do. He forgot about their problems and how Stiles was practically a
walking time bomb. They stopped talking, didn’t need to words to describe to
passion they felt as they kissed, to know what the other was thinking.
 
Stiles craved what the older man had to offer, his cock already hard and
straining at the fly of his jeans. He was whimpering and whining against the
older mans lips, grinding down desperately. He was already so turned on that he
didn’t even realize when Derek picked him up and brought him into their
bedroom, tugging off his plaid flannel and the graphic tee underneath it and
laying him down on the bed.
 
Stiles nearly came right then and there when Derek began palming the bulge in
his jeans and sucking on his right nipple. He keened and whimpered loudly,
feeling his cock twitch harshly in his jeans, leaking pre-cum into his boxers-
briefs. Derek grinned, biting down on the now erect pink nub, making his boy
writhe against the bed.
 
“Derek, please.” Stiles panted, Dereks hand still rubbing against his clothed
cock, “I-I can’t...m’not gunna last...” He whimpered.
 
“Close already Stiles?” Derek taunted with a smug smirk.
 
“Asshole.” he groaned, tossing his head back, gasping when Derek squeezed,
sending another shock of pleasure racing up and down his spine and to his
groin, “Fuck, Derek, I’m gonna cum in my pants if you keep doing that.”
 
“Maybe I want you too..” Derek growled, licking a line up stiles’ toned body,
squeezing his crotch again.
 
“Fuck fuck fuck!!” Stiles chanted, arching up into the touch as he felt himself
reaching the edge, “Shit, Derek...please fuck-” He broke off with a gasp, his
eyes rolling back and his body arching further as Derek bit hard on his left
nipple. He nearly screamed at the intensity of the orgasm the older man gave
him, whimpering as the after-shocks hit him wave after wave, “Me...” He
finished in a pant, his face red with humiliation.
 
Only then did Derek take off Stiles pants and underwear, licking up the mess he
made against his perfectly white, mole dotted skin. Stiles whimpered as he
watched, his cock twitch again in interest, “You’ll be the death of me.."
 
Derek smirked again, removing the rest of his clothes as well before grabbing
the lube and spreading some onto his fingers, “Ready?”
 
Stiles nodded, his whiskey eyes closing in bliss as one of Derek’s thick
fingers pushed inside him. He bit his lip, muffling a whimper of pleasure.
They’d gone this far, one finger before Stiles lost it and began to beg for
release. But not this time, this time, he was begging for something bigger.  
 
Derek took his time, making sure that the boy was stretched enough. By the time
Stiles had three fingers up his ass, he was practically sobbing for it, his
cock hard, red and weeping against the milky colour of his mole dotted skin,
“One more, baby. One more and you can have me.” Derek coed, rubbing the inside
of his lovers thigh gently.
 
“Please.” Stiles whimpered, his whole body shaking and quivering in pleasure.
His eyes rolled back and his body arched as Derek inserted his pinky finger,
stretching his asshole tighter and making it burn so deliciously, “Oh fuck,
Der...I...I’m gunna cum again...shit, so fucking good.”
 
“Think I can make you cum three times tonight?” Derek asked is a lust filled
whisper against the boys ear, nipping on it gently as Stiles whined so
beautifully, “Hmmm, you want that huh? Want me to make you cum three times in
one night, make you so sensitive that you’re screaming at the slightest
touches.”
 
Thats all it took, the sound of Dereks raspy voice in his ear and one more push
against his prostate and Stiles was cumming again. His load shooting up his
chest and chin as he moaned and whimpered as his climax passed through him.
 
As he calmed down, Derek spent the time lubing up his own cock, watching as
Stiles lay there, gasping for breath, his body still shaking with aftershocks,
“Think you can take it tonight? We can wait.” Derek reminded when Stiles tried
touching his cock again, only to flinch away from how sensitive it was.
 
“Don’t you dare stop now.”Stiles growled, pulling Dereks hips closer to his,
“Fuck. Me. Now.”
 
And so he did. Derek thrust inside with one push, sinking all the way to the
hilt, both of them moaning out. A small smile spread across Stiles’ face in the
bliss of finally having Dereks cock inside him, “Yess...” He hissed, his eyes
closing again.
 
“Fuck Stiles, so tight..” Derek grunted, hanging his head as he panted, the
heat of his boyfriend overwhelming him. He waited a moment or two, until Stiles
nodded his head, signaling that Derek could move.
 
They lost themselves. Lost in each other and in the pleasure, everything
disappeared. Their problems vanished, along with every other care or worry they
had in the beginning. The only thing that mattered was each other. Derek loved
how Stiles’ cheeks were flushed, how his hands reached out to the blankets,
twisting them in his hands as he let out little moans of pleasure. Sparks
flowed through their bodies, feeling the intimacy of the slow, passionate
thrusts.
 
“Derek..” Stiles whimpered when Dereks slow thrusts weren't cutting it anymore,
“C’mon, baby. I need more. I need..”
 
“What do you need?” Derek asked through pants and gasps,”Tell me stiles, what
do you need.”
 
“I need harder...faster.” Stiles begged, opening his eyes to look into Dereks,
“Make it a night that I won’t forget, that I’ll feel forever.”
 
Derek didn’t need him to clarify, they both knew that stiles’ memory was
already fading. He gave the smaller man exactly what he wanted, pulling back,
almost all the way out, before pushing back in roughly. He repeated the motion,
loving the sounds that Stiles was letting out.  
 
“Shit! Yes, Derek yess.” Stiles moaned, his body arching and squirming in
pleasure, “Just...fuck...Just like that..”
 
Derek's eyes couldn’t look away from Stiles’ face. He couldn’t get over how
beautiful he was, even when he was being taken apart. They both knew that
Stiles only had so much time left, they didn’t know how much time they had
left, or how many nights they had left together. Both men seemed to be thinking
the same thing as tears leaked into their eyes, fighting to slip down their
cheeks as their lips crashed together.
 
Stiles ran his hands through derek's hair, pulling on strands of it tightly as
he moaned and whimpered into his lovers mouth. They kissed and they kissed,
only breaking away when Derek’s thrusts became more erratic, both of them
reaching the point of no return. Their foreheads rested together, eyes boring
into each other as they panted. Stiles’ whimpers began to get more breathy and
higher, signaling that he was close again.
 
“I love you..Stiles...” Derek whimpered burying his head in the other man's
neck.
 
“I love you t-too Der..” Stiles whimpered, “Der...Derek, look at me.” He
begged, pulling his head up to meet his eyes, “Watch..” He pleaded.
 
Derek nodded, watching as Stiles fell apart, losing himself in his pleasure.
More moans and high breathy whimpering filled the air, “Fuck..Derek, i'm
gunna..M’gunna..” He threw his head back, body arching as Derek thrust in hard
one last time before finding his own orgasm. The feeling of derek shooting his
load inside of him is what pushed him over the edge. He locked eyes with Derek
as his orgasm tore through his body, his mouth open in a silent scream.
 
They both broke once they came down from their high. Tears falling as they
kissed, more passionate than any kiss they’d shared before.
 
“Don’t leave me.” Derek whimpered between kissed, “Please don’t leave me.”
 
Stiles shook his head, sobs tore through his body, “I don’t want to..” He
cried.
 
They held each other that night. Clung onto each other like it was the last
thing they’d ever do. they fell asleep like that, tears still running down
their face and limbs tangled together.
 
~~~~~~
 
Derek awoke the next morning before Stiles. He got dressed quickly, packing a
few outfits in a small suitcase and grabbing the keys to his camero. He wrote a
note for stiles, setting it on his pillow.
 
The pressure had gotten to him. He cracked. He needed some time from the other
man, just a few days. A few days to catch his breath and then he’d back. Stiles
would understand..he always did...right?
 
~~~~~~
 
When Stile woke up, he read that note on the pillow next to him.
 
My dearest Stiles,
 
Last night, was the best night we shared. But I couldn’t bare the thought of
you waking up this morning and not remembering it. I’ll only be gone a few
days, I just need some time and I might not want to see you right now.
 
That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, okay?
 
You’ll always be mine. No matter what. See you soon.
Derek.
 
He scrunched his brow in confusion.What happened last night?

And who in the holy hell is Derek?
***** Time for goodbyes *****
Chapter Summary
     The dreadful day has come...
Chapter Notes
     Sorry I took so long!! I promise it wont be that bad next time :)
     anyways, enjoy having your heart wrenched out.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
He read the note, again and again. Trying to make sense of it. Something
happened last night, and this Derek guy had left because he knew that stiles
wouldn't remember it in the morning. He'd be back in a few days though? And
apparently, he loves him?
He was pulled out of his thoughts from the ringing of his phone, or what he
though was his phone. The screen read "Mama Mccall".
He answered it hesitantly, "hello?"
"Hey Stiles, it's Melissa, how are you today?" A women's voice said.
His eyebrows drew together in confusion, "um..good? I guess." Who was this
women?
There was a pause on the other end, "Stiles, where's Derek?" The women,
(Melissa?), asked.
"I..I don't know, I don't even know who he is." He said honestly.
"Crap." She cursed, "okay, stiles, stay right where you are, I'll be there
soon."
"But I don't even know who you are!" He exclaimed, "how do you know where I
live?"
"Just trust me, stiles. I'll explain everything later." And with that, the lady
hung up. Leaving stiles alone and possible even more confused than before. So
he waited, reading the strange note over and over again. Until two people bust
through the door.a man and a women.
"Stiles?!" A man said, he recognized him.
"Dad?" He guessed, it seemed right to him.
"Stiles, where's Derek?" The man asked.
"I don't know who you're talking about!" Stiles exclaimed, "I don't know who
Derek is and I don't know where he is or where he went but if he loves me then
why did he leave?!" He had so many questions. Who was Derek? What did they
have? What happened last night? Why did he feel broken because of the fact he
left? There was an ache in his heart whenever they mentioned this Derek guy and
he wanted to know why.
"Ill try to call him." The lady said, taking out her phone.
"Melissa said there was a note?" His dad asked.
Stiles nodded and handed him the note. He hung his head and twiddled his
thumbs, trying to fight back tears. He was so confused and hurt.
"Dad...what's happening?" He asked shakily.
The older man sighed and put a hand on his back, "we'll explain later but we
should get you to the hospital." He smiled a sad smile.
"The hospital? Why?! What's wrong with me?" Stiles asked, jerking away from his
fathers touch, "I want answers!"
"And you'll get them, but right now you need to come with me." He said, giving
the boy a stern look before turning and walking out of the house
Stiles sighed and followed him, if this was how he'd get answers, than so be
it.
~~~
Derek stared down at his phone as it rang for what seemed like the millionth
time. The first few messages seemed normal  Melissa was pissed that he'd left
stiles alone after their special night. That's as normal and he was expecting
it. But what he wasn't expecting was the next call while he was getting in the
camaro to leave town for a few.
Derek. Answer your damn phone. Stiles needs you. This is more than you leaving
him and if he was....okay, than he'd forgive you. But he's not okay. He doesn't
remember last night and he doesn't remember who you are. How can he forgive you
if he doesn't know who you are. His dementia is spreading fast and he may only
have days. Get your ass to the hospital. NOW.
The phone call dropped, much like Derek’s heart did at the news. He felt his
world crumble around him. Days? That couldn't be possible. They had only found
out months ago, no way could he only have days already. He legs gave out from
under with him as he slid to the ground, tears blurring his vision and panic
filling his body.
He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, tears slipping down his cheeks
as he stared, frozen in panic at his phone, when a man came up to him.
"sir? Are you okay?" The man said.
Derek shook his head, "days...he only has days.." He said to himself.
This only confused the man future, "what? Who only has days? Do you need
medical attention or are you-"
"I need to see him. Need to get to the hospital." Derek murmured pushing the
guys away from him and getting in the car. As he drove away he heard the man
yelling at him, telling him it wasn't safe to drive, that a storm was coming.
But he didn't care, he had to get to stiles.
He couldn't see much past his tears and the hard rain that was coming down in
sheets, but he kept driving, turning left and right and stepping harder on the
gas peddle. He was only faintly aware that he was doing far over the speed
limit. He reached the hospital in record time, parking quickly and running
inside. He ran up to the front desk.
"What room is stiles stilinski in?!" He demanded.
"I'm sorry sir, but no one but family is allowed Into mr. Stilinski's room."
The lady said calmly.
"You don't understand!" Derek yelled, frustration and fear spilling into his
voice, "I need to see him and tell him I'm sorry for leaving and, and-"
"He's with me." He hears a voice say. He turned and saw Melissa, reaching out
and grabbing his hand pulling him down the hallway.
"Melissa I-"
"Derek, I'm furious with you, so is john and stiles is pretty upset too. But
right now he needs you. He needs to be held and we all need each other. You can
explain later."
Derek nodded, and whipped at his cheeks before they stopped in front of a room.
"He's in there, and he's awake. He still doesn't remember last night." Melissa
said, opening the door for him.
He walked in the room, a pang of guilt spread through his chest as he seen the
hurt look and both the sheriffs and stiles face. John got up and pulled Derek
in a hug, "you own me and explanation." He said softly before squeezing his
sons hand and walking out of the room, leaving stiles and Derek alone.
Stiles stared at him for a moment or two, trying to piece things together, "so
you're derek huh?" He asked, crossing his arms. Derek nodded, sitting down in
the chair next to the bed, "so why'd you'd  leave? If you loved me like you
said you did in the letter, why'd you leave?"
"I'm so sorry stiles. I just-" he sighed, "I was scared. I was scared that when
you woke up you wouldn't remember me and what we were and what we have and I
didn't know how i was going to handle it. So I did the only thing I knew how to
do and I ran. I ran from a problem that only got worse and I'm sorry. I'm a
whimp but you love me and I'm just so scared." He said, taking the boys hand in
his.
"You didn't have to leave." Stiles whispered after moment or two of silence,
"maybe if you stayed I would of remembered a bit more. But you didn't have to
leave."
Derek's heart broke at the way the boys voice broke, hearing how hurt he was,
"Stiles, I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back. I promise, I won't leave you
again. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?" Stiles asked softly, looking up at Derek with sad eyes.
"Promise."
~~~~
And Derek kept his promise. For the next couple weeks stiles stayed at Derek's
loft, Melissa coming in to check on him regularly. He was still hooked up to a
heart monitor, just like he was at the hospital. Derek didn't leave his side.
He tried to make the best of the time stiles had left.
They shared sweet kisses over the weeks, murmuring how much they loved each
other. When stiles lost his memory again, Derek told him their whole story over
and over again, begging him to remember. Eventually he did, only to wake up the
next morning and forget it all.
At the end of the few weeks that passes, stiles had accepted that he was nearly
gone. He barely recognized his own father, didn't recognize himself as a child
when he looked through his baby books. So had Derek. It had hurt to even think
it, but when stiles held his hands one night and said the words that Derek
would never forget
"Der.." Stiles sighed, wiping away a tear that had escaped out of Derek's eye
before taking his hands and squeezing them gently, "I know it's hard. I know
you had plans for us, I know you were looking forward to have a future
together, having a family. I was too. I still want that, but I don't have time.
We don't have time. But that doesn't mean that you can't."
The younger man had tears in his eyes too, "you can still adopt, or fall in
love again. You still do all those things. You have lots of time to find
someone else, it might take a while but you have time. I want you to adopt, I
want you to get married. And I want that because that's what you wanted us to
do. I can't do that, but you can!" He wiped away a tear, his voice getting
hoarse, "promise me that you'll do that. Promise me Derek."
Derek stared into his boyfriend's eyes, "I will. I will get married...and I
will have a kid. But not because I've moved on. I could never move on from
you." Stiles went to speak but Derek cut him off, "stiles..." He took out a
blue velvet box from him pocket, "I want to spend the rest of your life, being
married to you. I was to be your husband at least once before you go. Will you
marry me?"
Tears started to pour down stiles cheeks, "of course I do Derek, of course I
want you to marry me. Of course I want to be your husband but we don't have the
time."
Derek shook his head, "you're wrong stiles. We can do it right now! I can call
someone that has a marriage licence, we can do it right here right now. We can
invite your dad and Melissa and Scott and have our own little ceremony right,
here. All you have to do is say the word."
Stiles took the older mans head in his hands and kissed him hard, "yes. Yes
Derek, please. Let's get married." He cried in between kisses.
And within a half an hour, they were getting married.
Derek stood in the middle of stiles' bedroom, holding his fiancé in his arms
like he was holding a bride. As their friend that was wedding them spoke, they
stared into each other's eyes and thought back to all the good and bad moments
in their relationship. Tears filled their eyes again as they said the two words
that would bind them together for the rest of stiles life.
"You may kiss your husband."
Their lips locked together and tears slid down their faces. Together, they
shared the most passionate kiss they've ever had. It felt like it had been
hours but what must of only been seconds they broke apart, only to kiss again
and again until their lips were kissed bruised.
That night, they were laying in bed together.
"Okay, so we're married. But that still leaves out having a family." Stiles
said, "I still want you to do that, with or without me."
Derek smiled lightly, grabbing his laptop and opening it to a picture of a
little boy with honey brown eyes and light, soft looking brown hair. His nose a
little more up pointed than usual and his face had little moles all over it.
“He....He looks like me...” Stiles gasped, brushing his fingers over the
picture lightly.
“I always imagined that our little boy would look like you. With your mole and
your eyes. Your everything. He’ll be mine in a few months..” Derek trailed off.
after you're gone.
The unspoken words rang between them, “Derek.” Stiles choked out, “I don’t want
to leave you..” He said, burying his face in his husbands neck.
“I know stiles..Me neither..” He kissed his head gently, “I’m gonna miss you so
much.”
Despite how much neither one of them wanted it to happen, Stiles left the very
next day
Chapter End Notes
     mfg I'm so sorry, i was writing it and i was like crying. One last
     small chapter left!!
***** Papa *****
Chapter Summary
     just a shitty ending
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It took Derek a long time to get over stiles. But zach, his adopted son,
 helped. In a way, it was kind of like having another stiles with him. And it
made things a little easier, having a piece of Stiles with him.
Zach was 3 when Derek adopted him, he’s 6 now and the anniversary of Stiles’
death never gets any easier for any of them.
It gets worse when Zach asks why his daddy his crying, and who is the other man
in the picture hes holding. he wants to be strong in front of the small boy,
but his wall crumbles around him and the only thing that keeps him going is
what Stiles said to him before he left.
“Promise me you won’t leave him. I know you Derek, and I know that you tend to
run when things get hard. Promise me you won’t do that with Zach.”
And Derek had promised. He wasn't running, so Derek decided it was time.
“Zach.” He called wiping his tears away quickly before turning around and
facing the small boy, “Get your shoes and coat on, we’re going for a walk.”
They got dressed and Derek held his hand for the majority of the way, until
Zach wanted to play in the puddles. After all, the sheriff had given him
Stiles’ old yellow rain boots. They walked to the flower shop first, buying a
dozen white and pink lilies.
“Where are we going daddy?” Zach asked for what seemed like the millionth time.
“I want you to meet someone.” Derek had said simply, leading the small boy down
the path that led to the graveyard.
They walked through the yard, careful not to step on any graves. But suddenly
the boy gasped and ran to the nearest grave, “Muma, Dada!” He exclaimed,
running his small, soft fingers over the pictures on the graves.
“Zach?” Derek asked when he heard small sniffles, “What’s wrong bud?” He knelt
beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Mommy...” The boy cried, hugging the gravestone tightly, “Miss you mommy..”
Derek rubbed zachs back for a few minutes before quietly asking, “Do you want
to leave some flowers for them?”
Zach nodded, making grabby fingers for his new dad. Derek set 6 of the flowers
down on top of the grave before picking up his son and continueing on the
journey.
They walked for a few more minutes in silence before Derek stopped, setting
Zach down in front of a different grave.
                           Genim (Stiles) Stilinski
                      April 8th 1994 - November 3rd 2014
                    Loving Husband, son, friend and father.
“Who’s this daddy?” Zach asked curiously.
“This,” Derek said softly, “Would have been your other dad.” When zach looked
up at him, wearing his confused look, derek smiled softly and began to explain.
He explained how sometimes, daddies love other daddies like some daddies love
mommies., “I loved Stiles, but he got sick. We always wanted to have a
family..so he told me to adopt you. Even though he's not here, he’s your other
daddy.”
“But daadddd, if there was two daddies, that'd be too confusing!” Zach giggled,
“Can I call him papa instead?”
Derek smiled, ruffling the little boys hair, “You sure can buddy.”
And so every year on November 3rd, Derek and Zach go to the graveyard to visit
Papa. Years later, it still hurts to be without him. But Derek knows that papa
is watching over them with a smile on his face. And sometimes, if he listens
hard enough he can still hear his laugh and his voice, repeating the last thing
Stiles said to him.
I love you, Derek.
And Derek smiles, and whispers up to the sky, “I love you too, Stiles.”
 
Chapter End Notes
     I'm sorry, I can't write endings. I hope you enjoyed the story! I'll
     be back soon with another one...hopefully.
End Notes
     So? How was that? Yes? no? maybe so? comments are greatly
     appreciated, more coming soon.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!