Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13578177.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Major_Character
      Death
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Political_Animals, Captain_America_(Movies), The_Avengers_(Marvel
      Movies), Thor_(Movies)
  Relationship:
      Thomas_"T.J."_Hammond/Original_Character(s), James_"Bucky"_Barnes/Steve
      Rogers, Clint_Barton/Natasha_Romanov
  Character:
      Thomas_"T._J."_Hammond, James_"Bucky"_Barnes, Steve_Rogers, Clint_Barton,
      Natasha_Romanov_(Marvel), Brock_Rumlow, Jack_Rollins, Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Post-Traumatic_Stress_Disorder_-_PTSD, Anxiety_Disorder, referenced
      exhibitionism, Domestic_Violence, Fear, Violence_to_a_Service_Animal,
      Attempted_Rape/Non-Con, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Graphic_Description,
      Violence, Statutory_Rape, Murder
  Series:
      Part 5 of Still_Into_You
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-02-09 Completed: 2018-03-05 Chapters: 6/6 Words: 50296
****** Is It Still the Same for You? ******
by samwise_baggins, Steve-Bucky-Stucky_(Chemical30)
Summary
     With the boys now in high school and Ava a young mother, Steve and
     Bucky are getting older. The boys are dealing with the heartaches and
     horrors involved in high school and their fathers need to help guide
     them through, hoping to avoid the same mistakes they made themselves
     so very long ago.
Notes
     This story does have Steve and Bucky scenes; however, it concentrates
     more on the next generation, the boys following in their fathers'
     footsteps.
***** First Day of School *****
WARNINGS: Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Domestic Violence, Attempted Rape, References
Child Sexual Abuse, Violence to a Service Animal, Post Traumatic, Anxiety, Fear
Looking through the contents of the light purple backpack one last time, making
sure his granddaughter had everything she would need for her first day of
kindergarten, Bucky nodded and zipped it up. The bag wasn’t heavy, not many
things being needed at such a young age.
Steve walked up behind his husband and kissed Bucky’s neck, arms going around
the love of his life. He had a small stuffed kangaroo in one hand. “How’s it
going, Buck? Need me to take over? You look kinda misty?”
“Everything’s all packed,” Bucky murmured and let out a sigh, he turned in
Steve’s arms and looked up at the blond, “seems like just yesterday I was
packing a backpack full of snacks and whatnot to take with us when Ava and I
visited the Met?”
"So, we got back together yesterday?" Steve grinned and kissed his husband's
lips. "Yeah, I remember it that way, too. Where has the time flown?”
“I just can’t believe it . . . our grand baby is going to kindergarten! TJ and
Kevin are in their senior year!” Bucky shook his head, resting his head on
Steve’s chest. “When did they all decide to grow up on us, Steve?”
“I thought we decided to cancel July so Kevin wouldn’t grow up?” Steve teased
softly on a sigh.
“He didn’t listen,” Bucky grumbled softly, “he’s gonna graduate this year,
Stevie . . . gonna go off to college . . .”
Nodding, Steve buried his face in Bucky’s shoulder. “And TJ? At least we’ve
managed to keep him shielded from the journalists after his parents’ death.”
“God, everyone’s gonna want to know what he plans to study in college. Probably
expect him to go into politics,” Bucky pulled back to look at Steve.
“I was hoping to guide him into a musical school instead,” Steve grinned,
lifting his head. “I even started looking into audition processes so I can help
answer questions if that’s what he wants.
“Has he said anything to you? I know he hasn’t said a word to me about
college,” Bucky shook his head with a soft frown, “aren’t they supposed to
start all that stuff when they’re a junior?”
“Sometimes they start later. Remember? I did.” Steve sighed and looked towards
the door where a small girl with dark-auburn curls ran in, looking almost
desperate. “Rory! Where Rory?”
Bucky offered the five year old a smile and stepped aside so she had a clear
view of the stuffed animal in Steve’s hand, “don’t worry, Emma, Grandpa has
Rory.”
The girl threw herself at the toy and tried to grab it, wrestling it easily
from Steve’s grip while he chuckled. “Rory!” She cuddled her kangaroo close,
beaming happily.
“You ready for your first day?” Bucky asked, looking down at the girl with a
loving smile. Both Daniel and Ava worked, Daniel at his parent’s bookstore as
the new manager and Ava had just finished her bachelor’s in nursing and worked
at the Maria Stark Clinic. So, both sets of grandparents took turns babysitting
Emma while her parents worked.
Nodding, hair spilling around her face and shoulders in a riot of curls, the
little girl said, “yup. Poppy come?” Her speech seemed a bit delayed, but the
doctors Ava worriedly took her to regularly assured the family that the girl
would talk when she was ready. That didn’t stop Ava worrying that the poisoning
during her pregnancy had seriously damaged her daughter.
“Poppy and Grandpa are gonna drive you there,” Bucky assured, “and then you’re
going to play and learn with a whole bunch of other kids. Doesn’t that sound
fun?”
The girl nodded and cuddled her toy. She leaned into Bucky’s hip, much as Kevin
used to at that age. “Hungry?”
“I’ll make you some breakfast,” Bucky promised and then turned to Steve, “want
to check on the boys? It seems too quiet up there . . . just make sure they
didn’t sleep through their alarm?”
“Kevin was up when I found Rory in the bathroom. I’ll go wake TJ . . . unless
he’s primping in the bathroom again,” Steve laughed. He turned and headed out
of the kitchen and up the steps. “Teej?” he called as he approached the boys’
room. They had never stopped sharing even when Ava moved out to live with her
husband, Daniel, a couple years ago.
“Yeah?” TJ called back from behind the door, sounding quite awake. Sounds of
moving around came to Steve before the door opened, TJ stood there, mostly
dressed in dark jeans and a plain navy blue t-shirt, however he hadn’t put his
shoes on yet and his hair was in his perfectly disheveled style. The eighteen
year old stood tall, only two inches shorter than Steve, but he remained very
lean. “Everythin’ alright?” He asked as he lifted his leg to pull on one shoe.
“Doing wake up duty,” Steve reported, walking over to begin ruffling TJ’s curls
into a semblance of a windblown look. “Kevin still in the bathroom?”
“Uh . . . yeah, I think so? He hasn’t come back in yet,” TJ answered as he
pulled on his other shoe, never having bothered to untie the laces the last
time he’d worn them.
The bathroom door opened and Kevin walked out. He was dressed in practically
form-fitting dark grey jeans, a half-shirt of deep pink that slipped off one
shoulder and was covered with a light grey netting. His platinum hair had been
neatly brushed and he actually wore a very light application of makeup around
his eyes, making the light grey stand out. He smiled at the others. “Hello,
Dad. Found Rory for Emma?”
Steve drew a slow, deep breath, eyes locked on his son. He finally nodded.
“Yeah, Papa’s making breakfast. Don’t wanna be late.” He turned and hurried
downstairs, feeling a bit shell shocked. Kevin . . . had certainly asserted his
own preferences that year.
“That the shirt you cut up?” TJ asked, grabbing his black backpack that rested
by the door and slinging it over one shoulder.
“No, Julian gave this to me. I’m still working on the other one.” Kevin grabbed
his own bag, a pastel blue, and slipped on a pair of dark pink ankle-boots,
zipping them up. He often shopped in stores like Hot Topic to feed his choices.
“Ah,” TJ nodded and began walking down the hall. The brunet had never
completely warmed up to Kevin’s other friend, but he never made Kevin choose
between them.
Kevin turned and slipped the vest on his service dog, Avenger. He took the lead
and guided the dog down the steps behind Julian, smiling as Malakai joined
them, still in pet mode. “Find Malakai’s vest in the laundry, Teej?” he called,
his voice soft but well above a whisper after years of reassurance that he
didn’t have to be unseen and unheard.
“Crap, forgot to look, meet ya down in the kitchen,” TJ turned back to go look
for his service dog’s vest, Malakai following his master happily.
Kevin nodded. “Sure,” he chuckled and walked downstairs. Slipping into the
kitchen, Kevin walked up behind Bucky and reached for the apple juice just
beyond him. “Hello, My Bucky.”
“Mornin’, Tiger,” Bucky said before taking a sip from his own glass of juice.
He glanced over at his adoptive son and sputtered, choking on the juice as he
forced himself to do a double take. Setting the glass down, Bucky pounded his
chest a few times as his body tried to expel the liquid that had gone down
wrong.
Looking worried, putting down his own juice, Kevin started pounding Bucky’s
back, too. “Papa?” he sounded worried. This close, Bucky could see that Kevin
not only wore the light eyeshadow and eyeliner but a very pale lipgloss and his
nails had been painted a light pink. For the first time, Kevin seemed to be
displaying his choices for his school in more than just clothing colors: he was
fully expressing himself.
“Oh!” Emma said, climbing to her chair. “Pretty!”
After several moments, Bucky finally regained his breathing, and he gave Kevin
a reassuring wave of his hand. “I’m alright. You . . . uh . . . I haven’t seen
that shirt before?” Bucky moved to finish spreading jam on Emma’s toast and
serve the plate along with a bowl of fruit and a cup of apple juice.
Kevin smiled and turned so Bucky could see every angle on his willowy frame,
“do you like it, Papa? Julian gave it to me.”
“Yeah . . . it’s a pretty color. But,” Bucky forced himself to sound simply
curious as he popped two more pieces of toast into the toaster, “are you sure
that it follows the dress code?”
Blinking, Kevin looked down at his exposed shoulder and belly. “My chest isn’t
showing?” he asked softly.
Looking over, taking in the outfit once more, Bucky nodded, “okay. I was just
curious, Tiger. I know schools are gettin’ stricter about that these days. But,
I think you look good. Color makes your . . . eyes pop.”
Smile growing, Kevin hugged Bucky, “thanks, Papa! I color-coordinated to match
the top.”
“I found Malakai’s vest!!” TJ announced as he and his dog stepped into the
kitchen, “it was still in the dryer.” He looked over at Bucky and promised,
“I’ll fold that load when we get home today. Mornin’ by the way.”
Chuckling, Bucky nodded and began fixing the second helping of toast; after he
handed it off to Kevin, he started on the third. “Mornin’, Teej. And, I’ll hold
you to that,” the older brunet teased with a wink, “that is if Steve doesn’t
see it first.”
“See what?” Steve walked in, carrying several folded dish towels to put away.
“I woulda folded those when I got home, Steve,” TJ said, smiling at the large
blond.
Steve grinned back, “it’s okay, Teej. You’ll need to concentrate on homework,
and I’d like to talk with you about your plans after school.” He reached past
Bucky, kissing his cheek, to get the orange juice.
“Plans?” TJ tilted his head, accepting the plate that was given to him by
Bucky.
“For after school?” Steve smiled at the boy. “College? Work? Bumming around
begging money from strangers?”
“Oh . . . uh,” TJ shrugged one shoulder, walking over to the island to set his
plate down and pour himself a glass of apple juice. “I don’t know? I mean . . .
I guess college, huh?”
Steve sank onto the stool at the island. “Did you want help looking over
choices? Maybe even a music school?”
“Music school?” TJ looked at Steve, then Bucky, and then back to Steve. “You
guys . . . you’d be okay with that?”
Laughing, Steve said, “TJ, if you want something, we want that for you. Of
course we’re okay with that!”
“And you’re so talented on the piano!” Bucky commented with a grin, eyes
flickering between TJ and watching the little girl as she ate.
“But . . . it’s not a real career . . .” TJ said, bringing a piece of toast to
his lips.
“Not a real career?” Steve sounded surprised. “Kind of like drawing? TJ, have
you considered who does the sounds for television and movies? Even commercials?
Who teaches others? Who plays in symphonies? Broadway? You have real talent and
can hone that into the career of your dreams, baby. There’s hundreds of musical
careers out there!”
Looking thoughtful, a slow smile spreading across his face, TJ said, “composing
for movies would be kinda cool . . .”
“Exactly.” Steve smiled and spread his hands. “I started out wanting to draw
comics in high school. Now, look at me. And I’m happy I went for classical. My
heart lies in it, really. I just didn’t think I could make it. So, I want to
give you the chance to try. Get the education and exposure. You’re young enough
to really grab it and run.”
“And . . . you’ll help me look at different schools? I think . . . I think I
wanna stay in New York, though,” TJ chewed his bottom lip in thought.
“I have already started looking into the audition process for schools, just in
case you wanted to pursue music. After school today, I can show you what I
found and we can look into the music schools around the area and what they need
for applications.” Steve hugged TJ to him. “Have a great day at school today,
baby. First day of the future starts here.” He stroked Malakai’s ears.
Nodding, TJ finished up his breakfast and carried the plate to the sink,
“thanks, Steve, Bucky.” Looking over at Kevin, the thin brunet asked, “ready,
Kev?”
“Yup,” Kevin smiled, rinsing his dishes. He kissed Bucky’s cheek then Steve’s,
then cuddled the little girl. “See yah later!” He grabbed his bag and hurried
out to catch the bus.
“Go to the bookshop after school today!” Bucky called out after the boys.
“Yes, Papa!” Kevin called back, taking Avenger outside after unsecuring the
door.
TJ followed his best friend out of the home, Malakai vested and leashed by his
side, and walked side-by-side with Kevin. Bumping the smaller teen’s shoulder
playfully, TJ gave the blond one of his crooked smiles, “so, ready for senior
year?”
Chuckling, Kevin said, “yeah. You? We’ll be in AP classes since we did all that
advanced work last year. I still think you should have told our parents that
you’ve been working so hard.” He bumped back. “But if you don’t want to, I can
still keep quiet.”
Shrugging, TJ let out a sigh, “I don’t know . . . not workin’ all that hard to
be honest. The classes are easy. No sense braggin’ about it.” He stopped when
they reached the place where the bus would pick them up. “You tryin’ out for
the dance squad this year?”
“Was already offered my place again. I accepted.” Kevin smiled and looked at
TJ. He leaned closer, “I’m going to try out for the art charity group. The one
they were talking about forming? If I make it, I’ll be one of the charter
members, creating the bylaws and everything.”
TJ’s brows rose in surprise and he nodded, “that’s great! That’s the one you
and Julian are all hyped about, right?”
“Yeah, admin finally approved it but everyone has to submit a portfolio and a
paper on possible bylaws and functions and a direction. The admin’s going to
select the charter committee for the year. Next year, the remaining committee
members get to choose new members.”
“That sounds - -” TJ’s sentence was cut off by another voice.
“You talkin’ about our art charity group?” Julian grinned, making his way to
the two other teens. He’d grown tall and his frame filled out with muscle over
the last six years. After being removed from his mother’s custody, the boy had
been placed with nice foster parents who’d adopted him a few years later.
Smiling, Kevin nodded, “yes. Heya, Julian. Had a good last week?” Whereas Kevin
often spent time with his friend, for the past week Julian’s family had taken
their adopted son to a beach resort for family time.
“Yeah, brought you back somethin’,” Julian grinned, slipping his backpack off
one shoulder to bring it around. He unzipped the front pocket and carefully
withdrew a few pretty seashells and a perfectly intact sand dollar. He handed
them to Kevin and said, “and that shirt looks great! Knew the color would look
good on you!”
Kevin flushed in pleasure and accepted the gifts. “Thanks, Julian. And, I love
the shirt. Thanks again. I did my wardrobe to match.” He studied the shells and
sand dollar.
TJ grumbled softly under his breath and stepped on the bus after it pulled in
front of them. He smiled softly at several other teens who greeted him as he
made it to an open seat, Malakai settling on the floor of the bus.
Kevin followed his cousin, giving Julian a last smile. He moved through the
crowd, listening to the shocked tones, the delight or even disgust at his
choice of wardrobe. Kevin merely smiled at the friendly people and ignored
those who weren’t so pleasant. Sinking down next to TJ, Kevin bumped shoulders.
He whispered, “I have another shirt in my pack in case the wardrobe rules
changed over summer again.”
“Good idea,” TJ nodded and then glanced down at the shells in Kevin’s hand,
“better wrap that sand dollar. They are super fragile.”
Nodding, Kevin put down his backpack and rooted through. Finally, he found a
cloth handkerchief and wrapped the delicate gifts. He slipped it in a small
metal box he often carried for his money, though this time it had no coins or
bills in it.
Julian, from the seat behind them, leaned forward to ask, “what class you got
first again, Kevin?”
“Not sure. My schedule never showed, Julian. I have to go to the office first
thing to get that fixed,” Kevin smiled at his friend.
“You, TJ?” Julian asked, though it was obvious the other boy asked more out of
politeness than truly caring.
Glancing over his shoulder, TJ answered, “AP Economics.”
“Oh, yeah,” Julian nodded, “I forgot you take all those hard classes with
Kevin. You never talk about them. Hey, Kevin, heard you got offered your spot
on the dance team without even auditioning.”
Nodding, Kevin said, “that letter I got. The dance instructor really wanted me
there to . . .” he smiled and flushed, “lead the troupe this year.”
TJ’s head snapped over to look at Kevin, “you got offered Captain? You didn’t
say anything about that!”
Kevin flushed brighter and bowed his head, “yeah . . . I handed you the letter
but I think you were too busy to really look at it.”
The brunet frowned slightly and was about to say something when the bus pulled
to a stop, the teenagers all standing at once to get out. TJ and Kevin waited,
like usual, for the bus to empty before leading their dogs out of the bus. Once
they were outside, TJ looked at Kevin, “when’d you hand me the letter? Don’t
remember readin’ anything about the dance team?”
Offering a forgiving smile, Kevin said, “last night. You were doing your face
scrub then your hair, so you maybe didn’t get the chance to read it?” He didn’t
seem offended that his best friend might not have taken time to read the
letter.
“Oh,” TJ frowned worse; he did remember Kevin handing him something last night
but he’d been right in the middle of his nightly routine before bed, so he’d
set the letter down. He’d meant to read it after but must have forgotten.
A tall black-haired boy with an athletic frame slipped up behind TJ and grabbed
his waist, pulling him back, flush against the boy’s crotch. “Hey, babe,” he
said then began gently grinding against TJ’s ass and whispering “gonna be free
today? Near lunch time?”
Flushing slightly, TJ’s pale eyes flickered to Kevin and then he said, “oh,
hey, Lucas. I . . . uh . . . should be fine? I’ve got Music Theory before lunch
. . .”
“You can skip that boring class and hang with me under the bleachers,” Lucas
grinned widely, a hint of condescension in his tone. TJ’s boyfriend had never
really be interested in anything musical unless it was heavy on drums and
screamed lyrics.
Turning in the larger teen’s arms, TJ frowned softly, “it’s the first day,
Lucas. I can’t skip on the first day. Can’t you just meet me right after?” The
brunet was about the same height as his boyfriend but Lucas was definitely
thicker with muscle.
Frowning, Lucas studied TJ. “You gonna be open enough for a quickie? I hate how
you whine if you don’t get time.”
Kevin flushed and looked away, pretending not to hear this very private
conversation.
“I . . .” TJ dropped his eyes and nodded, “I’ll be fine. Jus’ can’t skip Music
Theory . . . it’s a hard class to get into, Lucas . . . I don’t want my spot
going to someone else.”
“Hunh,” the other boy grunted and shook his head. “Don’t see why. All you do is
listen to boring ass crap and talk about it like it’s god-sent. Just say a few
nice things and the teacher will give you an A. I ain’t seen or fucked you all
summer. I’m your boyfriend for Christ’s sake.”
“Lucas, I told you I was busy with my family. I called you and asked if you
wanted to hang out at my place but you never agree,” TJ pointed out softly.
“Yeah, right, me go over and make nice with your damn dads?” Lucas shook his
head, frowning. “Can’t fuck you at your place. Hard enough to keep that damn
dog out of my business.”
Malakai let out an angry-seeming huff, eyes locked on the larger teen as he sat
by TJ’s side. TJ swallowed thickly and offered, “I’ll be able to meet you at
lunch, Lucas. And . . . I can ask Steve and Bucky if I can come over to your
place on Saturday. We can . . . study or something. I know you have a hard time
in math . . .”
Frowning, Lucas shook his head, “Saturday? That’s a week away. I’ve waited all
summer to fuck you. You gonna make me wait longer? What? You some fucking
cocktease?”
Kevin stiffened at the word, grey eyes narrowing.
“I said,” TJ huffed, rolling his expressive eyes, “I can meet you at lunch,
Lucas. That’s today.”
“You can’t meet him at lunch,” Kevin said softly, holding up a piece of paper
in his hand, as if scanning a schedule. “You have to meet with the dance
committee chairman to discuss music for the coming productions. You won’t have
time today to meet anyone.”
“Oh, right,” TJ frowned softly and looked at his boyfriend, “I’m sorry? I
forgot.”
Lucas glared at Kevin. “Fuckin’ fairy. Keep your damn twink mouth outta my
business.” Turning to TJ, he growled and opened his mouth to speak.
“Hey,” TJ snapped, cutting off anything Lucas had been about to say, “you don’t
talk to him like that.” TJ took a step back, out of Lucas’ arms, “you don’t get
to talk to my friend like that.”
“He’s a fuckin’ faggot and always gettin’ in my business!” Lucas argued, anger
in his very manner.
“Well, guess what,” TJ snarled, narrowing his eyes, “you’re an asshole! And
what exactly do you think you are, huh?” The brunet had his arms crossed in
front of his chest, Malakai’s leash held loosely in one hand. “Last I fucking
checked, you like fucking guys.”
“Nah, not guys. Just you. You’re pretty as a girl and if I close my eyes, I can
imagine you’re some hot cheerleader,” Lucas shot back.
Kevin shot his hand out to grab TJ’s arm. “You need to go to the front office,
remember? For a schedule mix up. Can’t be late.”
TJ let Kevin drag him away, looking stunned and hurt. Once inside the school
and heading towards the main office, TJ murmured, “I don’t have a schedule mix
up . . .”
"You don't have an appointment with the dance committee chairman, yet, either,
since I have no idea what productions I'm allowed to use this year," Kevin
confirmed. "I have the schedule mix up, though, so I thought you might wanna
come to the office with me?" He put away the blank piece of paper into his
backpack.
Nodding, TJ sighed softly and ducked his head to rub at his eyes. When he spoke
his voice was quivering slightly, “I . . . thanks?”
Kevin offered a sweet smile to TJ. “If I made love to you, I would keep my eyes
open so I know it wasn’t just a dream.” He hugged his adoptive cousin’s arm and
walked him, and the dogs, towards the office.
“You . . .” TJ looked at Kevin with wide eyes but wasn’t able to continue what
he was going to say as they stepped into the office.
The lady behind the front desk looked up and smiled. “Well, if it isn’t my two
favorite students and their human handlers.” She winked then frowned. “Thomas?
Are you okay?”
“I . . . uh . . .” TJ cleared his throat and rubbed at his eyes again, “yeah,
I’m - -”
Kevin took the initiative and said, “TJ’s in the middle of a breakup, Ma’am.
I’m here about my schedule?” He knew the staff wouldn’t get involved with the
romances of the student body unless the counselor came forward, and he wasn’t
in the room.
It wasn’t long before they sorted out the schedule and Kevin was leading TJ out
of the office towards their assigned lockers. Once there at the locker they
shared, Kevin opened the combination and swung the door of the locker open. He
pulled TJ behind the door, so they were basically crammed at the opening of the
locker. He whispered, "you gonna be okay, baby?" Whenever TJ was stressed,
Kevin slipped into the family nickname for him.
Swallowing thickly, pale eyes still a little red from being so close to tears,
TJ offered Kevin a small smile. “I . . . I’m fine . . . jus’ . . . sorry you
had to hear all that?”
“No,” Kevin shook his head, frowning. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Personally, I think anyone who treats you like Freddie treated Ava shouldn’t be
allowed near you. You’re better than that, baby.” Kevin pulled out his makeup
bag and began wiping gently at TJ’s eyes with a Kleenex.
Snorting out a small self-deprecating chuckle, TJ allowed Kevin to clean him
up, “not really . . . but, thanks, Kev.”
Straightening, pulling out an eyeliner and uncapping it, Kevin said, “so, you
honestly think you deserve to be treated like a throw-away whore? Really?” He
made an odd face with his eyes lifted and his mouth opened, “do this,” he
instructed.
TJ did as instructed, feeling a bit odd but trusting Kevin, “I mean . . . I
guess? It’s what I’m good at . . .”
Kevin let out a snort and began applying eyeliner to TJ’s eyes. “Just because
you’re great in bed doesn’t mean you’re throw away or a whore, Teej.” He worked
quickly and expertly. Putting away the eyeliner, Kevin pulled out a small tube
of gel and squeezed some on his hands. He massaged it through TJ’s curls,
ruffling them. “Even if you and Julian aren’t into each other, even Julian
wouldn’t treat you like all you’re good for is a piece of ass, baby. He
respects you. There are other guys that will respect you and still want to have
sex with the sexiest guy around.” Kevin never belittled TJ for being sexually
active by sixteen.
Scrunching his nose, TJ shook his head, “I don’t know about that. It’s obvious
that Julian’s into you, Kev.”
“You missed my point,” Kevin softly corrected. “I said Julian respects you, not
wants a relationship with you. But there are other guys, like Julian, who
respect you for more than your sexy ass and great package.” Kevin cleaned up
his hands and began to lightly dust some eye color on TJ’s lids.
“Never wore makeup before,” TJ murmured, “‘cept when Momma would make me stand
in front of a camera.” A visible shudder ran down TJ’s spine; the boy still had
a lot of issues with getting his picture taken, a problem stemming from the
abuse he suffered as a child. Malakai, sensing the negative emotions, shuffled
closer to his owner.
Kevin nodded, “I remember you don’t like cameras, TJ. Don’t worry. No pictures.
Almost done making you look like that jerk didn’t treat you like shit on the
first day of school. He sees you’re fine, he’ll not know he ripped your heart
out. Take him down a peg.” Nodding, Kevin put away his makeup and turned the
mirror he’d mounted in the locker to face TJ. “There, baby, all better.”
TJ’s hair was ruffled artistically with a hint of sparkle. His eyes looked
smoky and mysterious and his flushed face looked like it was done on purpose to
add a bit of color and life. He actually looked sexy, like a model in an
underwear ad.
The brunet’s eyes widened and he looked in the mirror for several moments
before his eyes flickered back to Kevin. Wrapping the thin boy in a tight hug,
TJ said, “thanks, Kev. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Now, let’s get to our first class,” Kevin smiled, hugging TJ back. “And later
we can discuss whether you want to put up with Lucas anymore.” He shut the
locker and took TJ’s elbow, smiling sweetly. “Today is the first day of the
rest of our lives, right?”
                                  **********
TJ watched as Julian got on the bus; he bumped Kevin’s shoulder and whispered,
“did Julian get in another fight?”
Julian sat behind the two other teens, sporting a newly bruised cheekbone, and
TJ could see the boy’s knuckles were also bruised.
Kevin turned around in the seat and tilted his head with a slight frown of
worry. “You okay, Julian?” He reached over the seat to brush his fingers very
lightly over his friend’s cheek.
Julian waved dismissively and gave the smaller teens a crooked smile, “took
that asshole down a few notches. Doesn’t have the right to talk to either of
you like that.”
Kevin smiled and flushed very lightly, “our hero,” he said softly and dropped
his hand. He turned back around in his seat and leaned into TJ. “Julian’ll be
fine. He’s being a white knight. I love it when he proves he’s the guy in the
white hat.”
Glancing back at Julian and then to Kevin, TJ said, “he went up against Lucas?
He . . . Lucas is gonna be pissed . . .” the brunet slunk down slightly in the
seat.
“If he’s mad at Julian, he should go up against Julian. If he tries to take it
out on you, he’s more than an asshole. He’s an abuser.” Kevin leaned into TJ to
whisper in his ear, “stick with me. I won’t let him touch you, baby.”
Chewing his full bottom lip, TJ muttered softly, “promise?”
Kevin touched his forehead to TJ’s, much like Steve and Bucky often did. “I
promise, TJ. I won’t let that guy touch you. He wants to close his eyes so he
can pretend he’s not gay, let him do it with someone else.”
“God,” TJ moaned softly, letting his head fall to Kevin’s shoulder, “I’m so
pathetic.”
Blinking, Kevin looked at his cousin. “How are you pathetic? You’re not the one
in denial and abusing other people because you’re afraid of your own self.”
“I let him . . .” TJ sighed, not lifting his head, “I let him talk to me like
that. Let him . . . have sex with me even after he treated me like shit. I’m
pathetic.”
“Nope, not pathetic. Just a horney teenager who thinks love means compromise.
But, I’m here to tell you, compromise doesn’t include taking a foul mouth or a
hit or anything unless you ask for it. Did you tell him you wanted to be
treated like that? Cause if you didn’t, I think it’s time to tell him . . .”
Kevin paused then smiled slowly, almost wickedly, “tell him ‘Lucas, I’m so done
with you. You were a nice fuck but I’ve found bigger and better. Time to move
on.’ And then shut the door in his face.” Kevin really didn’t mean to say those
exact words, but like all kids his age, he liked to fantasize that they were
confident and empowered enough to really say and do what they wanted. With a
sigh, he said, “or you can just tell him you’re done with being his toy and
you’re breaking up with him?”
“He’ll be so mad,” TJ whimpered, Malakai’s head popping up to rest on TJ’s leg.
Kevin titled his head. “You afraid he’ll hurt you, Teej?” he asked very softly,
slipping an arm around the other boy.
“I . . .” TJ shook his head, burrowing deeper into Kevin’s shoulder, making his
body as small as possible. “He’s . . . he has a temper . . .”
Frowning, Kevin looked over his shoulder at the bruised Julian. He buried his
face in TJ’s curls and whispered, “think we need to talk to the adults for
protection, baby?”
“No . . . no,” TJ murmured, shaking his head again, “don’t wanna worry them.
I’ll be fine. I’ll . . . I’ll jus’ tell him it’s over . . .”
Kevin nodded. “TJ. Are you afraid he might hurt you or Malakai?”
“I . . .” TJ let out a sigh, “we’ll be fine. I’ll . . . call him tonight.
Please, don’t tell Steve and Bucky?” The brunet finally lifted his head to look
at Kevin.
“As long as you aren’t in danger, baby, I won’t tell anyone, okay?” Kevin
smiled at his cousin. He kissed TJ’s cheek softly. “I’m here for you.”
“Thank you, Kev,” TJ smiled softly at Kevin before straightening fully,
regaining his composure. They made it to their stop near the bookshop and
disembarked. As they stepped off the bus, TJ’s cell began to ring. He pulled it
out of his pocket and frowned at the name displayed to him. Looking at Kevin
and Julian, TJ said, “I’ll meet you guys inside?” TJ gave the blond teen a
significant look.
Kevin nodded. “Okay, but you know the drill. 911 me if you need me quick. Don’t
go far.” Kevin smiled and took Julian’s hand to guide him into the store. “Come
on, Julian. I think they won’t mind giving you some extra shift time if you
start work right off.” He referred to the shelf stocking job the three teens
often sporadically did for a few dollars after school.
Julian let Kevin guide him into the bookstore, leaning closer to whisper, “he
okay?”
“He’s gonna break up with Lucas,” Kevin answered and offered a worried smile to
Julian. “He says he’s fine, but I’m a worrier. I keep thinking he’s gonna get
hurt, Jules.”
“Does that asshat abuse him?” Julian glanced over his shoulder, watching as TJ
paced back and forth in front of the store’s glass window, talking on the
phone.
Nodding, Kevin said, “he didn’t say in so many words, but I think he does. He
called him a cocktease for having classes.” Kevin shook his head, not letting
go of Julian’s hand as they walked towards the back of the store.
“Shoulda hit ‘im harder,” Julian muttered with a shake of his head.
“Shouldn’t hit anyone,” Bucky piped up, one brow cocked curiously at the
approaching boys. “Where’s Teej?”
Kevin turned and honestly said, “Julian was defending TJ when someone called
him faggot and stuff.” He put his book bag down and offered his schedule and a
copy of the dance committee letter to Bucky. “Papa, look.”
Bucky took the letter and read it before he beamed proudly at Kevin, “congrats,
Tiger! That’s awesome! I’m so proud of you!”
Beginning to grab the first of the book boxes to stock onto the shelf, Kevin
asked, “Papa? What do I do if a guy seems to want nothing but sex but I think
he might get violent if I try to stop the relationship?”
Frowning fiercely, Bucky stepped closer to Kevin, “Kevin . . . are you in
trouble?” He sounded instantly worried, pale eyes looking over his adoptive
son’s body to see if he could make out any obvious injuries.
“I don’t think so,” Kevin replied honestly, “but I am worried?” He offered
Julian a smile. “My white knight protected me today.”
Bucky looked to Julian and then back to Kevin, still frowning, “Kevin, why are
you worried about someone hurting you?”
“Well . . . he has a temper and the way he talks reminds me of Brock . . .” he
looked straight at Bucky, hating to remind his adoptive father of the man who’d
kidnapped him, TJ, and Bucky six years before and went on to sexually assault
Bucky over and over.
Bucky’s spine stiffened and his hand tightened into a fist by his side, “Kevin,
is this a boyfriend, perhaps? Why didn’t you tell us you’d started dating?” He
was already heading towards the gallery where Steve would be.
Kevin froze and frowned. “I’m not dating, Papa.”
Stopping mid-stride, Bucky looked at Kevin, “you’re not . . . okay, so you’re
having sex? Are you being careful? Who’s this guy that you’re having sex with?”
Kevin sighed and handed the box over to Julian. He walked over to Bucky and
touched his metal arm. “Papa, I haven’t had any kind of sex since I was five.
Calm down and breathe.”
Shaking his head, Bucky insisted, “you just said that a guy wants nothing but
sex with you and might get violent if you ask him to stop?”
“I didn’t say it was with me, Papa. I was asking how to handle it so I can help
my friend.” Kevin stroked Bucky’s arm, a worried frown on his face. He glanced
towards Julian then back to Bucky.
Julian kept quiet, not interrupting the important conversation.
Sighing, Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose with his flesh hand, “Kevin.
Who’s in trouble? Do I need to call someone’s parent to let them know their
kid’s in danger?”
“I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone unless he was in danger, Papa. I want to
know just in case. He was afraid to tell anything unless I promised.” Kevin
stroked Bucky’s arm again.
“Kevin,” Bucky said sternly, “it doesn’t work that way. If someone confided in
you that they are being hurt, or you think they’re being hurt, you have to get
them help. Is this friend of yours another student? Someone on your dance
team?”
Kevin sighed. “Today I saw my friend’s boyfriend act very inappropriately
sexual in public, making my friend uncomfortable. The boyfriend also accused
him of being a cocktease because he couldn’t meet for a quickie during lunch
and hadn’t been able to meet over the summer. I told my friend to break up with
his boyfriend, but my friend is nervous and afraid of his boyfriend’s temper.”
Kevin met Bucky’s eyes. “It reminds me of when Dad and you first got me back.
The way Dad would act. I don’t know if my friend’s getting hit or just being
over-scared. Julian heard and saw what happened and hit the guy for being such
a jerk.”
Bucky looked to Julian, frowning still, “you know the friend who’s being
abused?”
Julian opened his mouth to answer but a loud thud came from the front of the
store, like something was hitting the thick glass window.
Kevin bolted instantly for the front of the store, eyes wide, almost beating
Pietro to the door.
TJ was being shoved against the glass, Lucas pinning the smaller teen and
grinding against him. The larger boy murmured degrading things in TJ’s ear as
he tried tugging the brunet’s pants down.
“You little slut. Wanna tease me? Wanna make me hard? You did this. You fucking
tease and tease, you little whore. It’s your fault I’ve gotta do this.” Lucas
reached down between them and began fumbling TJ’s pants down, literally intent
on raping TJ right there against the bookstore window in broad daylight.
Kevin threw himself through the door and on top of the larger teen, wrapping an
arm round Lucas’s neck and trying to choke him while trying to hang on while
the boy bucked and fought. Malakai, whimpering and growling, snapped and
whimpered and snarled, attacking at Lucas’s feet but acting very sluggish,
blood running down his head from somewhere in his fur by his eye. Avenger let
out a growling bark and leapt on Lucas’s other side.
Bucky saw white and pushed past Pietro to get to the other boys. TJ crumpled to
the ground with a sob, curling up tightly. “Call 911,” Bucky barked to Pietro
as he forced Kevin and Lucas apart.
Breathing heavily, Kevin pulled both dogs from the other teen and knelt to
check on Malakai’s injuries, knowing TJ would prefer that. “Jules, take care of
Teej!”
Nodding once, Pietro turned and hurried back into the store, calling, “Wanda,
keep the customers in here and away from the window and door.” He grabbed the
phone and called emergency services, reporting an attempted rape.
The adult grabbed Lucas’ collar and yanked him back, slamming the teen against
a car parked on the street. He snarled, “stop fighting, you little shit!” He
used his strong metal limb to force Lucas to the car.
Julian knelt beside the shaking, sobbing, TJ and tried to unwind him so he
could see any injuries that may have been caused. TJ, however, refused to
cooperate, staying curled in a small ball.
Hearing the sound of the shouting from the other room, Steve came out of his
gallery with a frown, looking confused, covered in paint since he’d been
creating that day. “What’s happening? Wanda? Pietro?”
Wanda, staying with a few customers that had been in the store, reported, “a
boy was forcing TJ against the glass!”
Steve nodded. “Keep the customers in here where they’re safe,” he ordered and
headed to the front door. Once on the sidewalk, he knelt next to TJ, cooing,
“Teej, baby? Steve’s here.” He ignored the sounds of sirens mixed with Bucky
yelling at the culprit, too intent on trying to care for TJ.
TJ, some blood visible on his hairline, shook his head wildly. He whimpered and
sobbed, staying curled up.
Steve wrapped his arms around TJ and cuddled, breathing into his neck and face,
knowing TJ had a great sense of smell and would pick up on the turpentine and
paint smells. “Teej, baby, it’s Stevie. I’m here. You’re safe now.”
“Sorry . . . sorry . . .” TJ clung to Steve desperately, burying his face into
the blond’s neck, still hiding the injury.
Steve cuddled. “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe. Steve’s here.” He saw the cop car
pull up next to Bucky and an ambulance pull up right behind it. People on the
street had begun to stop, stare, and gossip. Carefully, Steve picked up TJ in
his strong arms, ignoring his weakened heart, and carried the light teen
towards the ambulance. “I’ve got you, baby, TJ,” Steve whispered, crooning.
The cop hurried over to Bucky and Lucas and asked, “what’s going on here?”
Shoving off of Lucas, letting the cops handle him, Bucky said, “he was trying
to rape my son.”
“He’s my boyfriend!” Lucas screamed, as if he suddenly realized he might be in
real trouble. “We were fooling around. He likes it in front of people!”
Kevin frowned from the dog’s side. “He missed Malakai’s eye, but the dog’s
gonna need stitches, Papa.” He looked up, eyes narrowed. “He hurt TJ’s service
dog.”
The cop frowned and grabbed Lucas. “Service dog? Yeah, attacking someone in
public? Or public indecency? Don’t think you’re going home any time soon, kid.
Let’s go talk this one out. How old are you?”
Lucas frowned and called, “sixteen. I’m a minor!”
“Liar. He’s nineteen,” Kevin replied.
“Liar!” Julian shouted at the same time Kevin had spoken up, glaring hard,
“he’s nineteen! Got held back a year!”
With a nod, the cop managed to cuff Lucas and put him in the back of the car.
He turned to Bucky, Kevin, and Julian. “I’m gonna want statements from each of
you. My partner will take this guy downtown to get his side.”
Bucky nodded and looked over to where TJ was being loaded onto the stretcher.
Eyes moving back to the officer, he asked, “can I go check on him first? I know
they’re gonna need to take him in . . .”
“That’s fine, sir. I’ll start with the boys.” He made a call over his radio to
get a vet down there to check a wounded service dog. Then he turned to
interview Kevin and Julian about what they’d seen and done.
Once Bucky was close enough, he could see TJ was actually fighting against the
EMT’s, “Malakai! He hurt Malakai!”
Steve was trying to comfort his husband’s cousin, but he had little knowledge
of what had occurred. Desperately, he looked to Bucky for help. “TJ, Malakai’s
safe now, too. The police are here.”
Bucky made it to the side of the stretcher and met TJ’s eyes, “a vet’s coming
right now, Teej. Malakai’s going to be fine. Calm down, Kevin’s with Malakai
until the vet gets here.”
TJ whimpered and slumped back against the stretcher. There appeared to be a cut
on his temple, near his hairline, and his cheekbone was bruising. “I . . . I
tol’ him I didn’t wanna . . . see him anymore,” TJ cried softly.
Steve stroked the boy’s curls, careful of his injury, which he let the EMT tend
to. “We’ll get a restraining order against him and press assault charges, baby.
He won’t be allowed near you at all.”
“I’m s - - so . . . sorry,” TJ whimpered as the EMT’s tended the cut.
“You did nothing wrong, baby,” Steve reassured his adopted son. “You’re a good
boy, Teej. He’s the bad one. You did nothing wrong.”
Bucky looked at Steve with a soft, worried frown. He knew now that TJ was the
friend Kevin had been talking about. How long had TJ been suffering with an
abusive boyfriend? Bucky worried that TJ was sinking back into his old habits
of hiding things from them.
The EMT asked, “which one of you want to come to the hospital with him?”
Steve shook his head. “Not the hospital.” He climbed into the ambulance. “I’ll
tell you where.”
The puzzled EMT nodded and closed the door, signaling his driver to take off. A
car pulled into the ambulance’s place and the vet from Maria Stark’s clinic
stepped out; she was one of the only vets in the vast city that would make
house calls.
The cop turned back to Bucky and sighed, pushing his cap back on his head.
“Ready to talk, sir?”
Sighing, running his shaking flesh hand through his hair, Bucky nodded, “yeah .
. .”
“Can you tell me what happened? What you saw and heard?” The cop flipped the
page of his notebook and got ready to take notes.
“I was in the back room with my son, Kevin, and his friend, Julian,” Bucky
explained, taking a deep breath and letting it out, “we heard something hit the
front window and came running out. I saw the black-haired boy pinning my son to
the window, grinding up against him. TJ’s service dog, Malakai was injured.
When we got outside, I heard him using very derogatory terms as he tried to
take off my son’s pants. That’s when Kevin and his service dog, Avenger, tried
getting him off TJ. That’s when I pulled Kevin off and then Lucas off TJ.”
“And how do you know Lucas?” the cop asked.
“I didn’t know him until today,” Bucky answered honestly with a sigh.
“Okay, Mr. Rogers. Thank you. Would you be willing to come to the station if we
need more info? I’m gonna warn you, that kid might press assault charges on you
or your kid and his dog.” The officer lifted his eyes from his notebook.
Bucky nodded, “I did what I had to do to stop him from raping my son and then
restrain him until you got here.”
“Well, just as long as you and your boy keep cooperating, we should be able to
deal with whatever he says. I’m going to go ask in the store for other
witnesses. The more, the better.” The officer offered a small pained grimace
and walked into the shop.
Kevin sighed and looked up. “Papa. She needs to bring Malakai to the clinic.”
Walking back to his son and the injured, whimpering service animal, Bucky
nodded, crouching down, “yeah, do whatever you need, ma’am.”
The vet nodded. “I’ll make sure he hooks up with his master as soon as we can,
Bucky,” the vet said. She had Kevin help her get Malakai into the car then
paused. “Would you let Kevin come with me to settle the dog? Or come yourself?”
“We can both come,” Bucky nodded and then glanced back at Julian, “Julian, can
you call your parents to come get you? You’ll be okay?”
Julian nodded, “I’ll be fine.”
Kevin stood and hugged Julian quickly then soothed Malakai. “Papa? Can you
drive Avenger to the clinic? I’ll go with the doctor and Malakai?”
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, scooping up Avenger’s leash, “I’ll meet you there.”
“Papa?” Kevin met Bucky’s eyes. “Don’t forget Emma.” He climbed in next to
Malakai and began carefully stroking the dog’s shoulder.
From right behind Bucky came Daniel’s voice. “I got Emma, Bucky. You go take
care of TJ and Malakai.” He had his daughter in his arms. “I’ll make sure to
clean up what Steve was doing so he doesn’t lose the paints.”
“Thank you,” Bucky gave Daniel a grateful smile before hurrying to the car with
Avenger.
***** A Different Form of Therapy *****
Chapter Notes
     WARNINGS: References forced ehxibitionism, Domestic abuse, Teenage
     sex, Referenced attempted rape, references past severe abuse
At the clinic, Steve sat beside TJ’s bed in the private room. He stroked his
foster son’s hair gently, over and over. Finally, once the doctor left, Steve
softly asked, “wanna talk, baby?”
TJ looked over at Steve, he swallowed thickly, “I . . . I tried to tell him I
didn’t want to see him anymore . . . I didn’t know he was so close to the store
. . .”
“TJ, baby, has he tried this before? Maybe if you couldn’t meet him for a date
or something?” Steve continued stroking, ignoring the evidence of makeup on the
boy.
“He . . .” TJ flushed and looked down at his lap, “he’d get mad if I told him I
was busy with you guys or had homework. He . . . I’d go meet him someplace he
wanted . . .”
Nodding, Steve leaned close, “go ahead, TJ, you can tell me what he said and
did. I won’t think any less of you for repeating this stuff. Tell me.”
TJ shook his head, his fingers beginning to tap, “he . . . liked doing things
in restaurants and movie theaters and stuff,” he flushed bright red, “he was
mad ‘cause I didn’t see him over the summer . . . then, he wanted me to skip
Music Theory so,” the teen chewed his lip, “so we could mess around?”
Nodding, Steve continued to sooth over TJ’s hair, not acting disgusted or
disappointed. Softly, he asked, “when he wanted to fool around in public
places, did that mean he wanted to penetrate you, baby, in public?”
“He . . . he always wanted,” TJ lifted miserable eyes to his adoptive father.
Steve carefully cupped TJ’s face and met his eyes, very careful of the
injuries. “TJ, baby. It’s okay if you didn’t want it. It’s okay if you wanted
it. You don’t have to say anything unless you want to tell me. I want you to
know that wanting sex in public is not evil or wrong, but you do not have to
like that, either. Do you understand me?”
“He wanted it . . . I - - I was his boyfriend?” TJ swallowed thickly and chewed
his bottom lip.
Nodding, Steve asked just as quietly, “tell me truthfully, and I promise I
won’t be disgusted with you either way. Did you enjoy being penetrated in
public by him, TJ? Is that what you wanted?”
“I . . .” TJ took a deep breath and let it out, “I mean . . . when he opened me
enough it was good?”
Nodding, Steve offered the boy a smile. “Feeling good when you feel like you
might or will get caught having sex is called exhibitionism, TJ, and there’s
nothing wrong with enjoying that. If you didn’t enjoy that, though, and he
forced you into it just because you were his boyfriend, that worries me. That’s
abusive behavior, forcing someone to do something that makes them uncomfortable
or hurts them.”
“I . . .” TJ shook his head, “he didn’t force me. He . . . he said that
boyfriends are supposed to do what the other wants. He . . . wanted to do it.
And it felt nice . . . sometimes . . .”
“Okay, TJ. He lied to you, baby.” Steve kept his eyes fastened on TJ’s. “A
boyfriend will consider and discuss what each other wants, but doesn’t have to
do what the other wants every time, especially if it hurts, degrades,
embarrasses, or anything like that. Even spouses aren’t required to obey all
the time or go along with everything. Have you ever heard the term spousal
rape? You may not have been married to this boy, but what he did to you was the
same as spousal rape. It’s when one member coerces the other into unwanted
dexual contact with the excuse that they're a couple so it’s expected. It’s not
expected, it’s rape, even if it didn’t hurt physically. If you didn’t . . .”
“He didn’t rape me,” TJ cut in forcibly with a shake of his head, “he didn’t. I
wasn’t . . . not like before . . . that wasn’t what happened.”
Sighing softly, Steve said, “assault then. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to use such
a forceful term. I wasn’t there so don’t know. But it sounds like you weren’t
always happy with what he wanted you to do. That he told you to do it because
you love him or you owe it to him or you have to because you’re a couple. TJ,
did he ever guilt you into doing something you didn’t want to do?”
“I . . .” TJ’s eyes welled with tears and he looked absolutely miserable, “I
wasn’t . . . how?”
Steve wrapped the teen into a cuddle and whispered, “TJ . . . what I’m trying
to say and doing badly is that, you are not at fault or wrong for not always
wanting to do the same things he wanted. You are not a bad boyfriend. A bad
boyfriend makes those demands without consideration for the other’s feelings of
disinterest or whatever. You were trying to be a very good boyfriend, and I
think he took advantage of that.”
“How . . . how can I have been . . . again?” TJ’s body trembled in Steve’s
arms.
Steve sighed and pulled back enough to meet the boy’s eyes. “Isn’t it so easy
to fall for someone strong and able to take control? Someone who promises to
take care of things for you? Someone that makes you feel good? And once you’re
half in love, and things begin to change, it’s so easy to think that ‘I must
have done something wrong,’ When we should be asking ‘why did he change? What’s
bothering him?’. It’s not the same. You did nothing wrong, you merely fell in
with someone who found it easier and easier to manipulate and bully you.” Steve
touched his forehead very carefully to TJ’s. “We are abused easily, you and I,
because we love so much and so strong and want only to be loved. We see the
good in everyone and forgive the bad, sometimes too much.”
“I . . .” A few tears fell down TJ’s cheeks, “he . . . tried to . . .” the teen
turned his head to bury it in Steve’s neck.
“I know, baby, I know.” Steve wrapped his arms around TJ and stroked his back,
cuddling and comforting. “I know, sweetheart. You’re safe now. Steve’s here.”
“I wanna go home, Steve,” TJ begged softly, voice choked with tears he tried to
hold back. “Can we just go home? Please?”
“As soon as the doctor clears you and Malakai, we’ll go home, baby.” Steve
stroked his back, holding him.
A soft knock on the door drew their attention. Kevin peeked into the room,
looking worried. “TJ? You okay? Wanna see Malakai?”
Sniffling, TJ pulled out of Steve’s arms and wiped at his cheeks, wincing when
he rubbed against the bruised one. “Yeah . . . he’s okay, right?” TJ sat up
more so he could look.
Kevin offered a soft smile and opened the door wider to display the white Husky
with the shaved and bandaged head. “He took a hit to his head, but he’ll be
fine.”
When he saw the injured dog, TJ began to sob; he could remember clearly the
sound of his dog’s cry when Lucas had hit him. He started to slip out of the
bed, stumbling slightly in his haste. He collapsed to his knees in front of
Malakai and carefully wrapped his arms around the Husky’s neck. “I’m so sorry,
Malakai,” TJ sobbed into his dog’s fur. Malakia huffed and turned his head to
lick at TJ’s ear.
Kevin smiled. “Papa and Avenger are on the way over to get us. The vet’s
cleared Malakai. Said he needs to take it easy for a few days but he’ll be
okay. She wants him back in a couple weeks to look at those stitches and we’re
allowed to give him half a baby aspirin for pain once every six hours.”
Steve stood up and put a hand carefully on TJ’s head. “As soon as they get
here, we’ll check you out, baby. Did you want to start up your counseling
again? To help you understand your feelings and how you got back into this? I
find counseling helps me.”
Face still buried in Malakai’s fur, TJ nodded but was unable to say anything.
Bucky, leading Avenger, walked up behind Kevin and then looked down at TJ and
Malakai on the floor. Lifting his eyes up to his husband, Bucky frowned in
worry. “How . . . how is he?” He asked.
Steve sighed. “His physical injuries are okay and he’s trying to cope with the
emotional ones. I’m hoping to get him back into counseling, Buck. Like me, he
might need long term help to understand why these things have happened and how
to prevent them. It’s a long road.”
Sighing softly, Bucky handed Kevin Avenger’s leash and slipped past the
trembling, crying teen. He glanced at Steve again and then knelt down next to
TJ, “hey, Teej. I ran into Bruce on the way here and he said we can sign you
out now. Did you want to go home?”
TJ nodded, finally pulling away from his dog to look at Bucky, eyes and cheeks
red from crying. “I wanna go home,” he answered, pleading in his tone.
Steve nodded from behind TJ. Softly, he asked, “TJ? Want me and Bucky to stay
home with you guys tonight? We can cancel our weekly meeting.”
“You guys can still go,” TJ answered, slowly standing up, “I - - I’ll be okay.
I . . . I have some homework . . .”
“I’ll be with you, Teej,” Kevin said, offering a supportive smile.
Nodding, TJ picked up Malakai’s leash and followed Steve and Bucky out of the
room.
                                  **********
Once the boys were settled at home with the alarms set and the parents gone to
their weekly meeting with Natasha and Clint, Kevin sighed and leaned against
the bedroom door. “Hey, Teej. Wanna get a shower or a bubble bath or something?
We can use the master bath like when we were little and wash each other’s hair
and stuff?”
TJ looked over and watched Kevin for a few moments, “you . . . wanna bathe?
With me?”
Kevin shrugged. “Only if you want, Teej. I know you like to relax in the hot
bath, so thought I’d offer. But I don’t haveta join you if you don’t want me
to.”
Swallowing, TJ said slowly, carefully, “I . . . I’d like that? If . . . if
you’re sure?”
Kevin broke into his sweet smile. “I’d love to bathe with you, Teej. It’s been
forever since we just soaked and talked and bathed each other. I miss it. I
always liked your touch.” The blond turned to begin pulling sleepwear from his
drawers.
TJ grabbed his own sleep pants and a change of underwear before following Kevin
to the master bathroom.
Putting his clothes on the counter, Kevin began stripping out his his school
clothes, running the water in the sink so he could remove his makeup. “Miss
just you and me, sometimes. I . . . I wanna talk about so much, but not sure
what you can handle right now.” He looked in the mirror at his best friend then
went back to removing the eyeliner very carefully, seeming unaware that he
stood there nude.
“Not made of glass, Kev,” TJ set his own clothes on the counter and began
removing what little makeup he had left. “What do you want to talk about?” He
turned to face Kevin as he pulled off his navy blue t-shirt.
With a bright smile, Kevin turned and said, “if you’re sure. I wanted to ask
about sex? I only remember bad things.” The boy had always had an eidetic
memory so recalled the sexual abuse he’d gone through as a toddler, something
that broke his parents’ hearts.
Nodding, TJ moved over to start the bath, putting in lavender bath salts.
Looking over his shoulder, the older boy said, “well . . . what would you like
to know? Kinda a broad topic there, Kev?”
Kevin nodded and rinsed his face one last time then headed over to the filling
bath. He stepped in and slid to a seat in the scented water, the oils of the
bath salts slicking his skin in a sensual way that made him sigh happily.
“Well, Papa and Dad were having sex and I saw them once. They said it feels
good, but I can only remember pain when someone penetrated me.”
TJ finished stripping and slid into the bath with Kevin, “it can feel really
good,” he nodded. “If the other person knows what they are doing. Uh . . . but,
Kev, I gotta ask. Are you attracted to men, women, both?”
Kevin met TJ’s eyes and said, “I think I’m gay. I’ve seen pictures of girls
naked and I just can’t . . . get into that? But . . . I love the shape of guys.
I keep imagining holding them like I do me or even tasting them.” He shrugged,
seeming unembarrassed. “I think I’m gay,” he repeated.
Nodding, seeming unsurprised, TJ said, “okay. So, you want to know if sex with
a guy can feel good?’
“Well,” Kevin shook his head, “I guess it’d feel good or guys wouldn’t keep
doing it.” he smiled. “I just wondered if it could ever feel good for me? Or
maybe those guys that kept buying me spoiled me for that kinda pleasure?” He
spoke of the long ago abuse matter-of-factly; it didn’t own him, he owned it.
Drawing a slow breath, Kevin once more met TJ’s eyes. “I was thinking on asking
Julian to try it with me, so I could find out?”
There was a flicker of emotion that passed through TJ’s eyes but the brunet
quickly recovered, “oh, yeah, I mean. It’s obvious that he likes you. I know he
wouldn’t hurt you.”
Frowning, suddenly, Kevin shook his head, “it’s that obvious? Ugh. I don’t
think it’ll work then. I don’t wanna be a couple with Julian. I just wanna
experiment. But if he really likes me that way, I don’t wanna break his heart.
I see him more like a brother than a . . . long time lover I think? We’re close
and share everything, but wI think it’d be weird being even closer.” Kevin sank
against the side of the tub and the wall, blowing out past his top lip and into
his hair, looking frustrated. “I don’t know any other guys I’d trust with this
except you, though.”
Chewing his bottom lip, TJ said softly, “if you . . . if you want . . . I can
show you? I mean, I don’t expect you to be my boyfriend or anything,” the
brunet released a sigh, “and we aren’t really related . . .”
Kevin studied TJ a long moment, slowly straightening in the water. Softly, he
said, “what if . . . we wanted to?”
“Wanted to what?” TJ tilted his head, meeting Kevin’s eyes.
Kevin maneuvered onto his knees in the slick, lavender scented water and semi-
crawled over to TJ. He stroked one dripping hand down the other teen’s face.
Leaning in close, lips nearly touching, Kevin whispered, “be lovers . . .
boyfriends. Is that something you might want . . . with me?” He kissed softly.
Mewling softly against Kevin’s lips, TJ brought one hand up to cup Kevin’s
cheek, “God, yes. I . . . I’ve wanted to be with you since I was sixteen . . .”
Smiling into the kisses, Kevin whispered back, “I’ve been waiting for you to
tell me since I was fourteen, silly one.” He kissed again.
Deepening the kiss, his fingers of his other hand trailing down Kevin’s back,
towards his ass, TJ keened before his tongue swiped at the blond’s bottom lip,
begging for entry.
Kevin parted his lips, slanting his head for easier access. He apparently knew
a little about kissing but not as much as TJ’s normal boyfriends who’d been
sexually active from ridiculously young ages like twelve and thirteen. Kevin
let his hand trail down TJ’s chest, caressing.
As TJ’s clever fingers made it to the swell of Kevin’s ass, they seemed to
pause, as if he hesitated going any further. Kevin broke the kiss and smiled.
“I love your touch, baby. Please . . . stroke me?”
“You sure?” TJ asked on a breath.
“I wanna feel your hands on and in me . . . and I wanna feel you everywhere,
inside and out, TJ. Is that okay?” He smiled, his pale grey eyes already
blowing black in desire.
Groaning softly, TJ nodded and let his fingers go down further, moving to
gently caress Kevin’s opening. Leaning forward, TJ lapped at Kevin’s collarbone
before gently nipping at it. “You want me in you, Kev? Or wanna be in me?” The
hand that had been cupping Kevin’s cheek moved down the blond’s slender body to
grip at his hard cock, stroking it a few times.
With a soft groan, Kevin rocked in the slicked water. “You pick . . . show me
how so I’ll be good for you, baby. I wanna love you.”
Humming softly, continuing to slowly stroke the blond’s shaft while the other
hand massaged Kevin’s tight entrance, eliciting small needy whimpers from
Kevin. TJ leaned forward to nip at his lover’s shoulder again. He’d never been
given a choice before; he’d always been told how to act and what to do in bed.
“Stretching you may take a while, Kev. If you’re too needy you can top me and
then next time I’ll show you how good it can feel to bottom. But, if you want,
I can show you today . . .”
Kevin kissed at TJ’s neck. “Yeah, we’ll do it that way. Don’t wanna hurt either
of us. Show me how to open you up? Wanna love you right.” Kevin reached back,
imitating what he felt TJ doing, and stroked over the brunet’s passage.
Moaning softly, TJ’s head fell back and his hips canted. Taking a breath, the
brunet said, “might . . . might be easier on a bed, Kev.”
Pulling away, Kevin’s eyes widened. “Oh . . . uh . . . sorry? You just feel so
good and I been wanting to touch you like in the videos on the internet.”
Grinning, TJ slowly stood and tugged Kevin up with him. Carefully stepping out
of the tub, TJ helped his lover out, keeping their hands together, and then
quickly dried them off. Not bothering with emptying the tub right then, TJ
pulled Kevin out of the bathroom and back into the room they shared. TJ guided
Kevin to his bed and sat him down before turning to his backpack to begin
rooting through its contents.
“I don’t have any condoms, TJ. Want me to see if Papa’s will fit?” Kevin
smiled, his eyes eagar in anticipation.
Shaking his head, TJ pulled out a condom and a small bottle of lube and
displayed them to the blond. “Don’t worry, I’m prepared,” he winked at Kevin
before crawling onto the bed, “so, you ever open yourself up before, Kev? Maybe
while watchin’ those videos?”
“Yeah,” Kevin flushed a bit, “but not sure I did it right. It felt okay . . .
but not like those guys seemed to like in the videos. They kept moaning and
begging.”
“Well, it could be that you don’t like to bottom, which is okay, but it also
could be that you didn’t find your prostate,” TJ grinned wickedly, “and those
guys are actors, Kev. They gotta moan like crazy.” He handed the items to the
blond and displayed his ass to Kevin, “so, you gotta really coat your fingers
in the lube. When stretching someone, you start with one finger and work from
there. Go to at least three before trying to fuck me, or else you might tear me
open.”
A soft moan escaped the teen’s lips and Kevin said, huskily, “I love when you
dirty talk, baby.” He kissed TJ’s back and opened the lube, beginning to
generously coat his finger and massaging it into TJ’s crack and around his
ring. Then, Kevin began to carefully circle and press around TJ’s tight muscle.
“Like this?” he asked, dipping the fingertip into TJ’s entrance and circling in
a stroking movement. He certainly seemed to know how to make it stretch quickly
and feel good, despite his worries.
Moaning softly, TJ nodded, “yeah, like that, Kev. Feels really good . . .” the
brunet tried to keep his hips still, letting Kevin explore.
Blinking in genuine surprise, Kevin continued but asked, “really? That’s
actually right? I . . . I thought I wasn’t doing it right . . .”
“God, no, you’re doin’ it great,” TJ assured, dropping his head to the
mattress, displaying his ass even more for his lover.
Smiling, Kevin really got into what they were doing at that point, careful
still but more enthusiastic. He massaged, circled, stroked, and even leaned
over to kiss once in awhile, not shy about putting his mouth on TJ. “You taste
salty,” he murmured, letting his tongue lap out at TJ’s fluttering passage.
Gasping, TJ couldn’t stop his hips from rolling back to meet Kevin’s tongue.
He’d never felt that before; none of his boyfriends ever feeling comfortable
enough. “Oh . . . fuck, Kev . . .” TJ moaned, his legs opening wider.
Kevin pulled his mouth away and softly asked, “are you gonna cum, Teej?”
“Do that for too long and I will,” TJ answered honestly.
Smiling, Kevin bent down and began tongue fucking his lover, using his tongue
to stretch him. He reached around TJ and carefully fumbled until he found the
other boy’s hard cock and heavy sac. Kevin began stroking, unable to get a sure
grip with the unfamiliar position of stroking someone else, but he tried. Thus,
Kevin’s clever fingers played over the flesh rather than encircling it.
“You . . . fuck,” TJ panted, cheeks flushed, “you can grip a little . . .
tighter if you want . . . or move to the second . . . open enough . . .” he
tried to keep a clear enough head to guide Kevin through this, but he hadn’t
expected the rimming.
Kevin pulled both his hand and mouth away, smiling. Her kissed TJ’s back, hips,
and even his abdomen and pelvis as the blond boy slipped over and under the
brunet. Positioning on his back, Kevin opened his mouth and took in TJ’s hard
scock, lapping at the slit in his cockhead. “Mmm . . . you taste good
everywhere,” he murmured then slowly began to try to suck in his lover’s shaft.
“Oh . . . oh my God,” TJ groaned, fisting the sheets to keep his hips from
thrusting into that warm mouth. “Kev . . .” he whined low.
Kevin slipped his hands to TJ’s hips and held them steady, enjoying the long
desired taste of the other teen. He’d fantasized about tasting another male,
and now he got the chance . . . and with TJ, whom he’d long wanted to be lovers
with. It was the best fantasy Kevin could ever hope for and his own cock
strained almost purple, dribbling precum as it bobbed between his legs while he
worked TJ in and out of his mouth. Humming softly in appreciation, Kevin’s eyes
shut in pure bliss.
“Kev . . . shit, gonna . . . if you keep . . .” TJ warned on a moan, feeling
his balls tightening and that warm heat settle in his belly.
Kevin hummed again and sucked, hard, on the bulbous head of TJ’s cock, reaching
further down to fondle his lover’s balls.
With a soft cry, TJ’s cock pulsed in Kevin’s mouth before he came, hot and
heavy, in the blond’s mouth. Kevin began swallowing down the hot, salty load,
making near mewling noises as he worked, some of TJ’s cum mixing with saliva
and running down the sides of his face. Kevin opened his eyes to look up toward
TJ, the grey all but gone in lust-black. “Mmmm . . .” He reached down between
his own legs to start tugging on his needy, aching cock.
Panting, TJ blinked slowly a few times before carefully sliding down to kneel
on the floor. He gripped Kevin’s hips and tugged the blond towards the edge of
the bed. Pulling away Kevin’s hand, TJ wasted no time before swallowing down
his lover’s cock, letting it slip to the back of his throat. He’d always been
very good at blowjobs. TJ looked up at Kevin from under his long lashes, plush
lips spread around thick cock.
Kevin groaned and slipped a hand into TJ’s curls, gently gripping those brunet
locks. “Teej,” he rasped through his own abused mouth. “God, so hot . . . wet .
. . damn . . .” Kevin had incredible stamina and control because he stayed very
still as TJ worked him. “Feel so good, baby . . .”
Humming around Kevin’s shaft, still looking up at his lover, TJ reached between
Kevin’s legs and caressed his fingers over the blond’s sac.
That seemed to do it as Kevin moaned TJ’s name, long and low, his cock
twitching then emptying in long spurts of hot cum down TJ’s willing throat.
Kevin tugged TJ’s hair without thinking, throwing his head back as he shunted
his cock in and out of TJ’s mouth a bit.
TJ remained perfectly still, despite the slight pain the hair tugging had
caused, and let the blond thrust into his open throat. He swallowed most of
Kevin’s load, only a little escaping from the corner of his mouth as Kevin
shunted back and forth.
After a long moment, Kevin seemed to come to his senses because he blinked a
couple of times then flushed, easing his grip, hips stilling. Petting TJ’s
curls, Kevin pulled back away from TJ’s mouth and whispered, “I’m so sorry,
baby, I never meant to hurt you!”
Grinning, TJ shook his head, “normally, I love hair pulling, Kev. Jus’ with,”
he gestured to the bruised cheek and temple. “But, don’t worry. I woulda tapped
out if I couldn’t handle it.” He wiped away the trickle of Kevin’s cum from the
corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Tapped out?” Kevin sank to the bed, the spillage of cum from either boy not
having reached the sheets at least. “What’s that?” He leaned over to grab some
tissues and begin cleaning up TJ’s face with tender care.
“Oh,” TJ nodded, letting Kevin clean him up, “I forget, sorry. Tapping out is
what I’ll do if I’m giving you a blowjob and can’t tell you to stop. Like, had
you been holding too tight or something, I woulda tapped your hip a few times
to get your attention that something is wrong.”
Smiling softly, Kevin kissed TJ’s lips, not minding their shared taste. “I like
that. Then I know to stop if I get too rough.”
Humming happily, TJ nodded and inadvertently nuzzled at Kevin’s thigh, not
bothering to get up from the floor yet. “Next time, you’ll hafta really fuck
me, Kev. Promise it’ll feel twenty times better.” He didn’t bother explaining
that Lucas would often get too rough, making TJ tap out, but refusing to listen
to the cues and continue fucking TJ’s mouth anyways. He’d always apologize
after but then do it again, claiming he lost control.
Smiling, Kevin leaned down and gently tugged TJ from the floor into a kiss,
lying backwards so TJ’s body slid over his. “Yeah, gonna feel real good to be
together, baby. We can be inside each other in turns.” Kevin reached down to
stroke at TJ’s cock and sac, enjoying the slippery feel of the other teen.
“Yah, I am so gay.”
Chuckling, TJ nodded, kissing Kevin’s lips, “welcome to the club.”
“Feel like a VIP when I’m with you, Teej,” Kevin purred, kissing, fondling,
caressing, his own teenaged stamina starting to fill him again.
Smiling, noting Kevin’s renewing interest, TJ purred low, “wanna go again? This
time you can fuck me . . .”
“Okay, this time I’ll really stretch you. But I’ll keep my mouth outta it. You
taste too good and make me wanna cum.” Kevin reached over for more lube to coat
his fingers, working the first one around TJ’s entrance, reaching between their
legs to since the other teen lay across him. He slowly started working the
finger in further and further up TJ’s passage, inadvertently dragging across
that bundle of nerves.
Mewling, a needy, desperate noise, in Kevin’s ear, TJ’s hips bucked in
response, grinding his own filling shaft against the blond’s. “God . . . right
there . . . prostate . . . touch too much and I’m gonna cum . . .”
Kevin slipped his finger back out and smiled. “You cum too soon, I’ll cum too
soon. And I’ll never get to fill you up with my cock, will I?” He kissed TJ’s
lips and began circling his fingers again then started sliding a second once
inside his lover. “Too much?”
Shaking his head, TJ whimpered, “no, God, no . . . fuck . . . can’t wait to
feel you fucking into me, Kev.”
With a groan, his voice husky with lust, Kevin stroked his fingers in and out
of TJ’s passage, slowly working them open, “like this, Teej? Wanna fill you
full . . . wanna fuck you so hard. Gonna impale you . . . and make you beg . .
.”
Mewling, panting heavily, warm breath caressing down Kevin’s neck, TJ nodded in
desperation, “yes . . . please . . . fuck, please . . . want you to fuck me,
Kev. Please?” His hips had began to roll back to meet Kevin’s long fingers,
pushing them even deeper.
“You said three fingers. It’s only two,” Kevin said, eyes opened wide, his cock
pulsing between them, rubbing along TJ’s, as he stroked his fingers in and out,
scissoring them as he stroked.
TJ moaned and said, “can . . . can add a third, now . . . please? Please? Kev .
. .” he whimpered in need.
Nodding, Kevin kissed TJ’s lips and eased a third finger in, his other two
already embedded in TJ halfway, adding an odd sensation to the already full
one. He began shunting his fingers in and out, inadvertently hitting TJ’s
prostate a couple of times as he worked them wider, stretching his lover.
Letting out a low keen, TJ pushed back against Kevin's fingers. “Yes . . . yes
. . . feels so good . . .” He breathed in his lover's ear.
Kevin continued stroking, enjoying the noises TJ made for him. He continued
kissing, stretching his lover with his fingers. Slowly, Kevin slid his fingers
from TJ, deliberate dragging over the other teen’s prostate. He whispered,
“gonna try. Tell me if it’s too much, baby.” Gripping himself, looking down to
try to guide in, Kevin realized he needed to see better. “Gotta help me or I
need to be on top . . .” he murmured, ever practical despite the ratcheting
desire to be one with TJ.
Letting out a breath, TJ nodded and reached back to grip Kevin’s member before
he slowly began to sink down on it. The brunet keened and whimpered as Kevin’s
cock stretched his walls. He didn't stop until his ass was flush with his
lover's pelvis. Looking down at Kevin, pale eyes completely blown with desire,
TJ moaned, “fuck . . . you feel so good inside me, Kev. So, so good . . .”
Kevin drew his breath in as TJ sank down on his cock, the hot tightness of his
lover’s passage surrounding him. Mewling a bit, Kevin breathed out, “Teej . . .
I . . . you . . . so . . .” Blinking his sex-darkened grey eyes, the blond
moaned and slowly slid his hands around and up, tracing his lover’s hips before
settling on them.
Taking and releasing a few deep breaths, TJ stayed still for several moments,
letting his ass get accustomed to Kevin’s size. Slowly, he began to rise and
fall, rolling his hips to push his lover deeper. He continued the languid pace,
letting himself feel Kevin’s cock dragging against his walls. “Fuck . . . yes .
. . Kev, God . . . that’s it . . .” he purred, his pale eyes closing as his
head fell back, exposing his throat for the blond.
Smiling in pure bliss as TJ enveloped him over and over, Kevin responded on a
breathy moan, “feel so good . . . love . . . in you . . . baby.”
Gradually, TJ picked up the pace, using his legs to rise and fall. Everytime he
sank down, the brunet would moan and keen, proving to be quite a vocal lover.
Stroking at TJ’s hips as the other teen worked himself on Kevin’s cock, the
blond seemed pleased just to touch and feel TJ. He slowly started shunting up
to meet TJ’s down thrusts, picking up on the rhythm and matching it. “That . .
. yes . . . Teej . . . fuck . . .” he moaned, his tones quieter but no less
verbal.
Leaning back, angling himself so Kevin’s cock would brush against his prostate
with every thrust, TJ’s walls tightened and convulsed as the sparks of pleasure
ran up his spine. Panting, cheeks and chest flushed, TJ said, “fuck . . . gonna
. . “
Tracing his right hand over TJ’s abdomen and down, Kevin wrapped his hand
around his lover's cock and began to stroke it with their love-making. “Wanna .
. . in you . . . can I?” he groaned in response, his own balls feeling fuller,
tighter.
“Yes, yes . . . God, please fill me, Kev, please . . .” TJ begged, knowing he
wouldn’t last much longer, not with Kevin stroking his cock.
As if on cue, Kevin groaned low and came hard, his hand stilling around TJ’s
cock as his own released spurt after spurt of thick hot cum deep inside his
lover's passage. “Teej . . .” he mewled as he came, hard.
With a low keen, TJ’s cock twitched in Kevin’s hand and he coated it and the
blond’s abdomen with stripes of cum. After cumming, TJ braced himself on shaky
arms, hands on either side of Kevin’s head, still keeping his lover deeply
embedded.
Gently, Kevin began kissing TJ’s lips, over and over, light, soft kisses. “Teej
. . . baby . . . love you . . . so much . . .” he breathed out without really
thinking to censor his emotions. He cupped TJ’s face with his left hand and
began gently stroking TJ’s spent cock with his cum-covered right.
Giving Kevin a blissed smile, TJ returned the light kisses. Lucas had never
told TJ he loved him; when he’d say it to Lucas, Lucas would simply reply,
‘yeah, me too.’ “I . . . I love you, too, Kev,” TJ purred.
The look on Kevin’s face was as if TJ had hung the moon for him. He mewled and
kissed his lover deeply. “You and me . . . we’re boyfriends now . . . right,
Teej?”
“You . . . do you want to be?” TJ asked carefully, taking a few deep breaths to
regain control of himself. His arms still trembled slightly as they supported
his weight, but the brunet made no moves to get off of his lover.
Kevin kissed TJ again and nodded, darkened grey eyes meeting TJ’s equally blown
pale eyes. “Yes, I wanna love you . . . forever, Teej.”
“How . . .” TJ blinked slowly, starting to think clearly once more, “how are we
gonna do this, Kev? Steve and Bucky . . .”
Kevin blinked slowly and sighed, letting his own reasonable nature reassert
itself. He stroked his lover's cheek and said, “they’ve always respected the
truth, baby. If we let them know we love each other?”
“Kev . . . we’re,” TJ groaned softly, shaking his head, “we’re adopted siblings
. . . what if they don’t understand . . .” the brunet secretly feared if Steve
and Bucky were to find out that he’d had sex with Kevin, that they’d send him
away. Would they be disgusted with him? Make him go to some camp one heard
horror stories about?
Kevin nodded slowly, thinking about his lover's words. “We . . . we could wait
until we’re eighteen? Or I’m eighteen and move in together? No one can do
anything when we’re both adults, right?” He sounded sad and worried.
“Right . . . we - - we can get an apartment or somethin’. You can go to school
or whatever . . .” TJ’s mind worked a mile a minute trying to figure out how
they’d be able to support themselves if they moved out. Sure, Bucky and Steve
would probably help out some, but they couldn’t be expected to fully support
them once they moved out. “I . . . I have access to some of my parents’
inheritance since I turned eighteen. Just . . . haven’t needed it? But, it’s
enough to get a place . . . I can look for a job?”
Kevin stroked TJ’s cheek again and smiled sweetly. “You and me are gonna apply
to college and get scholarships or even just admitted. I don’t turn eighteen
until July next year, so we can worry about work later. We’ll both go to school
and see each other on weekends and stuff, just like we would have planned
before we discovered our love. And, once we graduate we can get a place and
move in. While we’re in school, I don’t think we’re gonna have much time to
worry about us . . . but I sure do want to keep loving you.”
Sighing softly, TJ nodded and leaned down to nuzzle at Kevin’s sweat sheened
neck. “I love you, Kev,” he breathed softly.
Smiling still, Kevin nuzzled at TJ’s temple. “I love you, TJ. I’m . . . I’m
glad we found each other.”
Slowly, carefully, TJ pulled off Kevin, dragging cum and lube out. Eyes
widening, TJ looked down at Kevin and then the unused condom lying right next
to them. “Shit,” he murmured.
Kevin looked confused and his eyes trailed down to the packet. Going a bit
pale, he whispered, “oh, God, I’m so sorry, TJ! I . . . I wasn't even thinking
. . .” He sat up, still holding TJ on his lap, their spent members sliding
against one another with the movement.
Shaking his head, TJ said, “it’s okay. I shoulda reminded you . . .” he knew of
Kevin’s past, and his own, and knew that unprotected sex could be very
dangerous. He didn’t know how to ask if Kevin was clean . . . hell, he didn’t
even know if he was clean.
Slowly, Kevin shimmied off the bed and headed towards the door, listening
before opening it and heading into the hall bathroom to get stuff to clean them
both up with. He came back, trailed by the dogs, and knelt on the bed.
Carefully, Kevin started washing TJ’s ass, biting his lip. “Are you hurt?
Bleeding? I’m . . . I’m so sorry!”
“I’m fine, Kev, really. It was my fault . . . you’d never done this before,” TJ
craned his neck to look down at himself, the slight bruising on his hips were a
good ache not the deep, painful ones that Lucas would leave behind, “you didn’t
hurt me, Kev, really. And . . . uh . . . we should both be clean? God knows
we’ve both gone through so many tests . . . if something was wrong Dr. Bruce
woulda found something by now.”
“I had my physical for dance last week and Dr. Bruce asked if I was sexually
active. I told him no and he said he would test me anyway?” Kevin met TJ’s
eyes. “So, I agreed? I don’t know the results. I never asked Papa.”
“I . . . Lucas and anyone else I slept with always used a condom . . . so, we
should be okay?” TJ bit his lip, worrying at it.
Nodding, Kevin said softly, “they already know you’re active, TJ. You can
always ask to get tested and they won’t think badly for it.” He stroked TJ’s
hole and crack, carefully cleaning his lover with his caresses.
“Uh . . . yeah,” TJ flushed brightly and let Kevin finish cleaning him up
before slipping off the bed to grab a pair of loose sweats.
Kevin cleaned himself up then stripped TJ’s bed, bundling the washcloths and
towel in the mess of sheets. He left the bundle on the bed and pulled on some
boxer-briefs then shorts. Gathering the bundle, Kevin said, “I’m gonna go wash
these, okay?” He paused then kissed TJ with a nearly shy smile. “See ya in a
few, . . . boyfriend,” he whispered then darted out the door, Avenger on his
heels.
TJ blinked slowly, a smile spreading on his face. Suddenly he remembered the
clothes and water in the tub in Steve and Bucky’s bathroom. Darting from the
room, TJ hurried into the master bathroom to drain the water and scoop up his
and Kevin’s dirty clothes. Malakai put his nose to TJ’s butt and let out a
puzzled whimper, his tail wagging uncertainly. The dog was used to the smell of
sex being mixed with pain for his master.
Smiling down at his dog, TJ used his free hand to stroke Malakai’s ears. He
lead the dog out of the bedroom. He threw the clothes in his and Kevin’s hamper
in their room and grabbed fresh sheets to begin remaking the bed.
The sound of Bucky’s car pulling into the drive alerted the boys that their
parents were home. Kevin stepped out of the laundry room, flushed. “They’re
back . . .” He glanced to the clock in surprise, “it’s really been that long?”
“We . . . we were kinda busy,” TJ flashed Kevin a crooked grin and finished
with the bed before grabbing a soft t-shirt to throw on.
Kevin smiled almost shyly and ducked his head. He nodded and went to retrieve
their school bags, bringing them into the bedroom. “Maybe we can get some
homework done before dinner?”
“Yeah, can’t believe we already have an essay assigned for Economics,” TJ
groaned softly and listened as they could hear the alarm being deactivated and
the front door opening.
                                  **********
Bucky set down his keys and wallet in the bowl by the door, tossing a glance
over his shoulder at Steve. Normally, the boys would be doing homework on the
table, having more space to spread out their books and papers. “Maybe we
shoulda stayed?” Bucky said softly to his husband, “think . . . think TJ is
still upset, or maybe Kevin got him to calm down?”
Steve frowned in worry and tilted his head. “Sounds like the washer. Do you
think Kevin had a stress seizure?” He strode further in. “Boys? We’re home.”
Kevin headed to the top of the steps. He didn’t realize he looked like he’d
been sexually active: face flushed, eyes still darkened, everything about him
seeming alert. “Hi, Papa, Dad. We’re up here.”
Steve looked at Bucky. He whispered, “or Kevin was masterbating?”
Nodding, flushing a bit, Bucky said, “TJ, alright?”
TJ came up behind Kevin, looking a bit better than Kevin. “I’m okay, Bucky.”
Bucky frowned softly and looked at Steve, one brow raising in confusion.
Puzzled, looking from one boy to the other, Steve ran a hand over the back of
his neck. “Okay . . . if you’re sure. Uh . . . how’s homework?”
“Uh . . . jus’ starting actually,” TJ informed, the bruising on his temple and
cheek standing out against pale skin, “I . . . Kevin suggested I take a bath to
calm down . . .”
“Did it work, baby?” Steve asked TJ. He figured what must have happened. TJ
masterbated in the tub while Kevin did it in their room. Now both boys were
trying to hide their individual activities in embarrassment.
“Yeah . . . a little,” TJ confirmed, “but we were gonna work on some homework
before dinner?”
Nodding, Steve smiled. “That’s a great idea. You and I can talk schools after
dinner? Bucky can go over Kevin’s choices?
“Yeah, that sounds good, thanks, Steve,” TJ called before turning back to head
into the bedroom he shared with Kevin.
Kevin slipped in after giving Bucky a blissfully happy smile. He shut the door
after the dogs made it in.
Steve ran his hand over his neck and sighed. “When they'd grow up? TJ’s dating
and Kevin’s . . . grown up.”
Sighing, Bucky ran his flesh hand down his face and shook his head, “that’s
something you should talk with TJ about, too. We had no idea he was seeing
anyone . . . I mean, I don’t mean to be overprotective . . . but, I don’t want
him getting hurt again.”
Groaning, Steve headed for the kitchen to start dinner. “Buck, why do our kids
tend to pick the asshole boyfriends? First Ava with Freddie, thank God she
settled on Daniel. Now TJ winds up with that Luke asshole? I’m terrified who
Kevin’ll pick. I’d almost welcome Julian at this point.”
“At least we know Julian would treat Kevin right,” Bucky said, following Steve
into the kitchen. “Do you think that Lucas kid is gonna leave TJ alone? He was
definitely acting just like . . .” the brunet shuddered and let out a sigh.
Steve sighed and washed his hands. “I know. I felt like I was looking at me in
college all over again. I could almost see that kid put on the charm and nice
words to lure TJ in.” Steve pulled out chicken and began cutting it. “I wish I
could find TJ the sort of sweet caregiver kid he needs. I worry so much about
him.”
“God, me too,” Bucky groaned softly, worry evident in his voice, “he . . . he’s
so easily manipulated. What if this Lucas asshat convinces him to get back with
him? TJ’s eighteen now, we can’t force him to stay away like we would’ve been
able to do with Ava and Freddie. That kid was going to rape TJ right in front
of the store, Steve! Imagine what he can do if he got TJ alone?”
A shudder ran through the tall blond. “I should talk to him, I really want him
safe. I’ll get him a taser or something to defend himself with. We can ask him
to bring any boyfriend candidates to meet us?” Steve looked at his husband.
“And I’m definitely pressing charges on that shit for attempted rape.”
“And what if TJ refuses to cooperate?” Bucky asked softly, “can we still press
charges despite TJ being a legal adult?”
“Public indecency? Public endangerment?” Steve offered weakly, “public menace?”
“All of which will get Lucas a slap on the wrist,” Bucky sighed heavily,
“especially if it’s his first offense. You talked with TJ . . . do you think
he’ll press charges?”
“He was so upset,” Steve sighed, “and confused and scared. I’ll try him again
later after dinner, okay? Maybe I can get him to understand that this kid is
very bad news.” Shaking his head, sliding the chicken into a wok and rinsing
off his knife and cutting board, Steve moved on to the veggies. “And we see how
Brock was born, huh?” He couldn’t hide the shudder that rippled through his
sturdy frame.
“I don’t want TJ getting sucked into that any longer,” Bucky insisted, “that
guy could kill TJ . . .” He sighed again, shaking his head. “Do you think he’s
actually going to go through with counseling?”
Steve put down his knife, hands shaking. Drawing a deep breath, he said softly,
“I’ll tell him about Brock.” He bent his neck, hanging his head as if, even
after all that time, he felt guilty.
Bucky closed the distance between them and hugged his husband, dropping a kiss
to Steve’s cheek. “You sure, Stevie?” He whispered, hating how much Brock had
hurt this family . . . continued to hurt them even after being in a cell for
six years.
“TJ needs to know how it starts and what it becomes.” Steve lifted his still
scarred, sometimes painful, hands and looked at them. Closing them into slow
fists, Steve drew another deep breath and let it out. “I don’t want him to
suffer what I did, what you did. I want TJ to be healthy and happy. I swear,
Bucky,” Steve didn’t see as the teens came to the door looking to see if dinner
was ready yet, “I swear the first really good guy that presents himself for TJ
and TJ loves? I’ll welcome him with open arms.”
“Steve?” TJ called softly, eyes wide.
Steve turned and wiped at his eyes. He’d been fighting tears of memory and
futility. He felt impotent to help his kids. “Hey, Teej. Kev. How’s homework?
Stir fry’ll be done soon.”
“Why . . .” TJ frowned softly, looking at Kevin and then back Steve, “why are
you crying?”
Drawing yet another deep breath, Steve didn’t look away from TJ. “Buck? Can you
finish the food, please? I need to talk to TJ.”
“Yeah, of course,” Bucky nodded, “Tiger, if you don’t need to be working on
homework, wanna come help me?”
“Yes, Papa,” Kevin smiled and gave TJ’s arm an encouraging squeeze. He walked
over to wash his hands.
***** Learning the Boundaries *****
Chapter Notes
     WARNINGS: Incest, though not blood-related; Referenced Abuse;
     Referenced Child Sexual Abuse; Post Traumatic; subDom
Steve led TJ from the kitchen to the dining room table. He pulled out TJ’s
normal chair and patted it, sinking onto his own.
Eyes still wide, TJ sank down in his chair and asked, “uh . . . did I do
something wrong?” The teen immediately feared that Steve and Bucky had found
out about what had happened . . . that Steve would be furious at him for
sleeping with Kevin.
“He made you feel real good, didn’t he?” Steve started, sighing, “special?
Loved even?”
“What? I . . . uh . . . I’m sorry we didn’t . . . I didn’t . . . it just
happened?” TJ stammered, swallowing thickly and looking terrified, “please . .
. don’t send me away?”
Puzzled, Steve looked at TJ. “My God, honey, I’d never send you away. Why would
you even think that? You belong here. You’re family!” Steve pulled TJ into a
fierce hug.
“I’m . . . I’m sorry,” TJ went into Steve’s hug, too scared to return it, “I .
. . I love him? He said he loved me too.”
Steve nodded and stroked TJ’s back, careful of his injuries from Lucas. “I
know, baby. And I’m sure you really do think you’re in love with him. It’s not
like we can control who we love.” Steve sighed, “but sometimes love can be
wrong, toxic even.”
“But . . .” TJ whimpered softly, “he . . . he treated me good? Made me feel . .
. how can that be wrong?”
“TJ, no matter how good he made you feel, if he tried to hurt you . . . did
hurt you . . . like today? That wasn’t love. He was using you for sex, baby.”
Steve tried to meet TJ’s eyes, wanting to help his adoptive son understand.
“But . . . he didn’t hurt me. He’d never hurt me . . . not on purpose or
anything,” TJ lifted miserable eyes to meet Steve’s.
Looking just as miserable, Steve said, “whether you can believe it yet or not,
TJ, what Lucas did was nearly rape you in front of the bookstore. Sweetheart,
that’s not love.”
“Lucas?” TJ blinked, looking stunned and then chewing at his bottom lip, “he .
. . Lucas just got mad, Steve. He’ll . . . he’s gonna apologize . . .” TJ felt
relieved that they hadn’t been talking about Kevin. However, the brunet still
felt confusing emotions over his ex-boyfriend who’d he been dating for a little
over a year.
“Yes, he will apologize,” Steve agreed, “but, TJ, think about it. Do you really
want a lover who will hurt you, repeatedly, and say he’s sorry? Or do you want
a lover who will think of you before it goes far enough to hurt?”
“I . . . I want that,” TJ said softly, thinking about how Kevin had treated
him, how much different it had been than the times with Lucas. “But . . . is
Lucas going to go to jail?”
Steve sighed and very carefully stroked TJ’s curls, much as if TJ were still
twelve. “It’s possible. But another possibility is to get him into counseling
and therapy to help him with his anger issues. He needs to be punished for
hurting you, but we can always ask to have therapy be a major part of his
sentence. Then, we might be able to avoid him turning out like . . . someone
else.” Steve’s voice and eyes dropped, making him appear almost cowed.
“Like . . . someone else?” TJ tilted his head, watching Steve closely.
“I met him in college and he was nice to me. Gave me things, talked pretty,
always touching and stroking me. I was confused because I hadn’t been too
certain of my own sexuality and finally let him convince me to try it out. I
was in love with someone else, whom I thought I could never win because of how
much I’d hurt him in fear. So, I settled for Brock. And it was good for a bit,
but slowly it got worse. He’d hurt me and apologize. He’d insist he knew better
than me and I agreed. He certainly seemed to know better. I let him take over
my life, TJ.” Holding up his hands, shaking but letting the teen get a good
look at them, something he’d never really done before, Steve showed TJ the
scarred hands which looked a bit twisted and painful. “Aside from having me do
things, in the name of love and being my boyfriend, he hurt me real bad. Even
smashed my hands in a window. He took Kevin and sold him into . . . into hell.
And, eventually, he helped steal you, Kevin, and Bucky and raped Bucky
repeatedly. For some reason, even after all this time in jail, he’s still
making threats to Bucky about Kevin. He think’s Kevin’s his natural son, but
the DNA tests prove he’s mine, not Brock’s.” Steve sighed. “I used to be
chained in my room if I misbehaved. I had to clean . . . all the time clean . .
.”
Steve met TJ’s eyes. “But it started out nice. He was kind and attentive and
made mistakes he apologized for.”
“Brock . . . he had been your boyfriend?” TJ asked softly, eyes wide, “but . .
.” the teen chewed his bottom lip, shifting in his seat, “how? He’d been nice
to you? Like he had been with Kevin in the room?”
Nodding, Steve said “yeah, but he did things to me that weren’t so nice then
apologize for his temper. Said they were accidents or that I drove him wild and
he forgot. Little things you’d look at anyone else and say ‘what a jerk,’ but
not with him and me. I felt I had to be the exception. TJ,” Steve stroked his
shoulder carefully. “I still have video footage of the first time he kidnapped
Bucky, from the original court case I had against him. The time he took you
three wasn’t the first time he got ahold of Bucky and hurt him. Some of that
footage includes what he treated me like, too. I promise if you saw it, you
probably wouldn’t recognize me in it, I was so . . . downtrodden.”
“How . . . how does he keep hurting you and Bucky?” TJ asked softly. “And . . .
he’s in jail now, though, right?”
Steve nodded. “He’s in jail right now, baby, yes. But he keeps managing to get
people to forward us letters with threats. He keeps trying to find ways to take
us to court to get Kevin. He claims Bucky stole Kevin and forced him to stay
here with us, that Kevin’s a prisoner and abused.” Shaking his head, Steve
wiped the back of one large wrist across his eyes. “Counseling and therapy has
helped me and Bucky and Kevin, since he remembers when he was a toddler. Brock
sold him into the sex trade as an infant, TJ. I’m not saying Lucas is like
that, but there are indicators that remind me of Brock in the early days. Do
you really want to take the chance on him?”
“I . . .” TJ frowned, looking scared and confused, “I don’t want to be with him
anymore, Steve. I . . . I don’t want to be treated like he treated me. I tried
telling him no today and . . .” the teen sighed and gestured to the injured
side of his face, “but . . . I don’t want him going to jail?”
Nodding, Steve said, “because you love him. He told you he loves you and made
you feel special.” He sighed.
“Steve?” TJ said softly, glancing towards the kitchen and then back at the
large blond. “I don’t . . . I don’t understand why these things keep happening
to me? With Collier . . . why’d he do those things? And . . . now Lucas? Am . .
. am I doing something wrong?”
Steve carefully cupped TJ’s face and gave him a wavery smile. “You did nothing
wrong, baby. Those people who do that are looking for power. They see you,
willing to love and please and give over power, and they take it. You are so
good and kind and loving. Assholes are a dime a dozen and they always home in
on the nice guys to use and abuse.” He touched foreheads. “My poor, precious
TJ. Such a warm heart. You deserve someone who will take care of you, accept
the love and power, but not use it against you. You need someone who will use
your offerings to empower you.”
“And . . . what,” TJ continued to meet Steve’s eyes, his pale eyes flashing
with intense worry and fear, “what if I . . . I think I have found someone? I -
- I . . . he knows what Collier made me do . . . he knows about Lucas and
doesn’t make fun of me for not liking to take pictures. He . . . he’s really
gentle and loving and kind . . .”
“And has he hurt you at all? Even if it was an accident?” Steve looked worried.
“Uh . . .” TJ bit his lip, glancing towards the kitchen and then back at Steve,
“he tugged my hair a little hard, but he didn’t mean to . . . he - - he’s
pretty new to . . . normal sex.”
Blinking in surprise, Steve asked softly, “has he been hurt like you, TJ?”
“Yeah,” TJ swallowed thickly, looking as if he was holding something very
important back, “he . . . he was hurt as a kid. He . . . he,” the brunet
lowered his tone to a whisper, “he forgot the condom the first time . . . I
shoulda reminded him. It was the first time he topped.”
Steve cuddled his adoptive son close and kissed his temple, on the non-injured
side. “TJ, we all make those kinds of mistakes. I’ll take you to Bruce to see
if there’s anything to worry about. Do you think this boy’s parents will let
him get tested? If he was abused as a child, he might have a dormant STD no one
knows about.”
“He . . . got tested a week ago?” TJ flinched softly, as if he was just waiting
for Steve to put the pieces together. “He . . . he said that he hasn’t asked
about his results yet . . .”
Nodding, Steve said, “well, if this boy is worth it, he’ll stay in touch and
trade the results with you so you can both deal with this. Do you need help
getting supplies, baby? I want you both to be safe. Just . . .”
“I . . . I don’t think staying in touch will be a problem,” TJ practically
whispered so low that Steve may have a hard time understanding all the words.
Falling silent, Steve said, “TJ? Is there a reason you think Bucky or I won’t
approve of this boy? I promise not to judge him with a brush tainted by Lucas’
history.”
“You’re gonna kick me out,” TJ murmured, letting his head fall, “I . . . I
didn’t mean . . .it happened? And now . . . you and Bucky are gonna send me
away . . .”
“TJ, I swear, baby, no matter who you love, Bucky and I will never send you
away! You two really care about each other and want to make this work? I
promise to help you. But I have to meet him, know that he really won’t hurt
you.”
“You already know him,” TJ couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes, his fingers tapping
anxiously in his lap.
“Oh, God, TJ . . . have you hooked up with a married man or something?” Steve
sounded sympathetic and worried.
“No?” TJ choked out, “you’re gonna hate me . . .”
Shaking his head, Steve met TJ’s eyes. “Short of you and Bucky carrying on a
secret affair behind my back, I don’t see me hating you for anyone you love,
baby.”
“Kevin,” was all TJ murmured out, so softly, but it felt like a gunshot echoing
in the room.
“Kevin?” Steve asked, blinking. Slowly, he asked, “you . . . and Kevin?”
“I’m sorry!” TJ put his head in his hands, ignoring the pain of putting
pressure on his bruises. “He . . . he asked about sex . . . and - - and he said
he wanted to try stuff with Julian . . . but when I said Julian would treat him
good because he likes Kevin, Kevin said that wouldn’t work! Then . . . we were
kissing . . . and . . .” the teen’s fingers tightened in his hair, to the point
of being painful, his body trembling. He waited for the anger, for the shouting
and accusations.
Steve sat back, but he left his hands on TJ’s shoulders. Gently, he untangled
the boy’s hands from his curls then slipped a hand under TJ’s chin to lift his
face. Softly he asked, “and why, TJ, were you and Kevin kissing?” He didn’t
sound upset, actually, just confused.
“He wanted to take a bath together . . . he - - he wanted to know if sex . . .
could feel good. He . . . he didn’t want to lead Julian on because he doesn’t
like him that way . . .” TJ’s voice trembled, eyes welling with tears.
“Oh, baby,” Steve sighed, stroking TJ’s good cheek. “How long have you been in
love with Kevin?”
“Since . . . since I was fifteen?” TJ swallowed thickly, “I never meant for us
to have sex! I - - I thought he’d get with Julian . . . I never . . . it was
never supposed to happen!”
“But I’ve loved you since I was fourteen,” Kevin’s soft voice came from the
doorway, no way hidden from Bucky or Steve. “I was never in love with Julian.
He’s like a brother.”
TJ looked back at Kevin and Bucky, who stood in stunned silence behind his
blond son; TJ’s pale eyes were miserable when he looked back at Steve. “I - - I
don’t know what to do . . .” TJ admitted on a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry . .
.”
Nodding, Steve said, “TJ, you love Kevin, correct? And Kevin, you love TJ?” He
looked to his son, pure worry in his vivid eyes.
“Yes, Dad. I love TJ. I have for years now. I want to be with him . . . like
you and Papa.” Kevin had always been a straightforward boy concerning his own
feelings and thoughts.
Bucky didn’t say anything, looking at each boy before meeting Steve’s eyes,
looking just as concerned.
TJ, who trembled, eyes filled with fear and uncertainty, said, “yes . . .”
Steve nodded and hugged TJ. “First off, TJ, you are my son and I would never
send you away or hate you. I love you and Kevin very much.” He offered that
worried smile. “Bucky, get me a laptop? I want to look up the incest laws in
New York, see if it applies to adopted brothers.”
Bucky slipped past Kevin and hurried upstairs to grab his laptop and bring it
back down to Steve. He gestured for Kevin to come over, “c’mon, Tiger . . .
we’re all gonna need to see this.”
Kevin walked over and slipped into the chair next to TJ, taking his hand and
offering a supportive squeeze. “Will you help us be together, Papa?”
Honestly, Bucky said, “first, we got to make sure it’s allowed in New York,
okay? We’ll work from there.”
Steve sighed, “if it’s not legal in New York, guys, you have to be very, very
careful not to get caught. But we’ll figure something out.” Steve began
searching for New York’s incest laws. Finally, on an accredited legal site, he
read through his answer. Slowly, he reread the information and sat back in his
chair. “Huh.”
“What is it?” Bucky leaned over his husband, hand braced on the table to look
at the screen.
“They’re adopted brothers so perfectly legal,” Steve looked up. “According to
New York law, siblings by blood, even half-siblings, is illegal. But if there’s
no blood, it’s fine. Since TJ was your cousin and Kevin my son, that makes them
not blood related.”
Bucky let out a sigh of relief and nodded, looking over at the two teenagers.
Kevin smiled and hugged TJ. “That means we can be boyfriends, TJ.”
TJ looked stunned, as if he didn’t believe the good news. His thin frame still
shook and his fingers continued their nervous tapping. “And . . .” he looked at
Bucky then Steve, “you guys aren’t mad?”
Steve leaned forward and touched foreheads with TJ, smiling softly. “I’ve known
you for ten years, TJ, and have always loved and been proud of you. I can’t
think of a better lover for my son. And I know he’ll take very good care of
you, my other son.” Steve sighed and sat up. “But, just because it’s legal
doesn’t mean you guys won’t see a lot of hate and harassment. People won’t
understand or look beyond the fact that you were raised together even if you
aren’t blood related.”
Hugging himself, TJ nodded, letting his head fall as he still held back tears.
It had been a very emotional day for him.
Steve backed off and nodded to Bucky, mouthing, ‘do you support them in this?’
Sighing softly, Bucky looked between the two boys and then slowly nodded. He
wasn’t about to force them apart . . . however, that didn’t make him not worry.
Steve was right. They would face hate and harassment their entire lives if they
chose to stay together.
Steve nodded and mouthed, ‘tell him.’
Bucky crouch down to be even with the teen in the chair. Carefully, Bucky
reached out with his right hand to brush TJ’s curls from his face. “We all love
you, Teej. I could never hate you, okay? You’re such a good boy, who I know
will love and take care of Kevin.” He offered the brunet teen a smile.
TJ let out a sob and nodded, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck and burying
his face in the adult’s neck. Stunned, very rarely getting this reaction from
TJ, Bucky looked over at Steve as he wrapped his arms around TJ, holding the
trembling teen close.
Steve smiled softly at the sight of the cousins embracing. “Once we’ve had
dinner we can discuss college, right?” he asked, as if this relationship
between the teens was perfectly normal, perfectly acceptable.
Not pulling away from Bucky, TJ nodded, doing what he was told.
“Tiger?” Bucky looked over at Kevin, “want to get the food?”
“Sure, Papa,” Kevin smiled wider and turned to go get everyone food.
Steve stroked TJ’s back. “You gonna be okay, Teej baby?” he asked softly.
Pulling back from Bucky, TJ lifted tear-washed eyes to Steve and said, “I - - I
think so? Everything . . . just happened so . . . fast?”
Nodding, Steve said, “TJ, we’ll make sure you get tested, okay? I’ll arrange an
after school appointment for you. And make sure to tell us what supplies you
both need. I want you to be safe. Do you need something, like a book or
something, to show you how . . . to do things?” Steve flushed. He wanted to
help his boys be comfortable and happy, but he certainly drew the line at
showing them. This part had been easier with Ava since Becca and Natasha were
able to talk to her.
“I . . . I know how to do things,” TJ mumbled, wiping at his eyes. “I . . .”
the brunet teen flushed and said, “I started having sex . . . again . . . at
sixteen . . .”
Nodding, Steve stroked TJ’s back again. “Okay, baby. Just . . . you know
there’s books and videos and stuff to help you learn other things to feel good?
So you can do it without getting hurt?” He stayed flushed but determined to
help these boys who’d been hurt so much in their short lives. “And if you need
condoms and lube and stuff, you feel free to ask for funds. Really. It’s okay.
Better safe, right?” Steve looked to Bucky as if for help.
“Don’t like the videos,” TJ murmured softly, dropping his eyes again. He didn’t
talk about the abuse from his childhood very often.
Nodding, Steve said, “not a problem. You don’t have to use anything you don’t
want . . . or makes you uncomfortable.”
Kevin came back in with dishes and a huge bowl of stir fry for everyone to
share. He set the tray on the table and started dishing out, completely
unselfconscious. Softly he asked, “what are the rules about . . date nights,
Papa? Dad?”
“Date nights?” Bucky carefully helped TJ back into his chair and then moved to
sit in his own. “You mean, like you two going out . . . or . . .” Bucky flushed
lightly, just as uncomfortable as Steve with discussing this very adult topic
with his two adoptive sons.
Sighing, Kevin sat down and took Bucky’s left hand in both his. “I love TJ and
want to express that love. I want him to express it with me. But I want to
respect both of you and your rules.”
Blinking, Bucky opened his mouth a few times and then he looked at Steve and
then back to Kevin. “Well, first off . . . we want this . . . relationship to
work . . . but, like with Ava, school comes first, always. Don’t let . . . date
nights get in the way of your educations.”
Smiling and letting go of Bucky’s hand to hug him fiercely, Kevin said, “how
about we keep date nights to Friday and Saturday unless a big report or test is
coming up? Is that a sound idea?”
“Uh . . . yeah? That sounds good?” Bucky looked at Steve.
Kevin suddenly rolled his eyes. “Papa, date nights don’t have to include sex. I
wanna spend time socially with TJ, too. Like movies and stuff.” He looked over
at TJ and offered his hand. “Because I want to spend time with my boyfriend
just planning for the future and talking about the present and stuff. Sex can
just happen naturally.”
TJ looked surprised and took Kevin’s offered hand, “you . . . you don’t wanna
show me off? I promise I can behave . . .”
Bucky’s eyes immediately snapped to look at Steve, frowning in worry. How much
had this Lucas guy put TJ though?
Kevin smiled and kissed TJ’s hand, his palm, lingeringly. Meeting his eyes, he
said, “if you want me to, baby, I’d be proud to. But I was thinking some
private time between us two since we’re always seen at school anyway. But if
you want me to show you off like a prize,” Kevin shrugged, “I can do that.”
Steve looked worried but waited for TJ’s reaction before determining just how
much the boys would need therapy.
“I . . . I wanna make you happy, Kev,” TJ said softly.
Nodding, Kevin said, “well, what makes me happy is treating you like the
wonderful, beautiful, caring person you are. So, how about we discuss plans for
date nights as each comes up, okay? And you can be sure I’m showing you off for
prom!”
Flushing, TJ smiled and ducked his head.
Leaning close, Kevin said softly, “but I don’t want them to take our picture at
prom, Teej. I want Papa and Dad to take it, because they don’t care if I run my
fingers through your curls right before they flash the shot.”
Nodding, TJ offered Kevin another small smile, “no . . . no pictures at prom.”
It would be enough to get TJ in a tux, not having really dressed up since
attending his family’s funerals six year prior.
“Not a single one unless it’s one of those surprise yearbook pictures we didn’t
know was happening. I wanna get our parents to take a quick shot of us, and if
it’s goofy, I don’t care. Cause you’re perfect no matter how you look. I don’t
want a picture, I want my TJ.” Kevin kissed his palm again, somehow so wise for
his years.
Bucky looked at Steve, brows risen in a look of surprise. Kevin seemed to know
exactly how to handle TJ. Bucky knew he would need to talk with Kevin, make
sure he understood some of TJ’s needs . . . but, for only seventeen, Kevin had
really come into his own.
“Hey, Teej, think you can eat?” Kevin asked gently, reaching up to stroke the
other teen’s cheek.
“A . . . a little,” TJ nodded, reaching for his fork to begin eating his meal.
Steve sighed in relief and began eating his own food. He softly asked, “so, how
were your classes, boys?”
“Music theory was interesting,” TJ said softly, “but . . .” he released a
breath, “but our AP Economics teacher already assigned an essay.” He had never
told Steve or Bucky he had been taking Advanced Placement classes since Junior
year.
Nodding, Kevin added, “we’ve got until next Monday to finish it, but it’s
actually a bit harder than any of the junior year essays. He wants us to use
APA style citing and three accredited sources from the internet.”
Surprised, Steve looked from one teen to the other. “I . . . wasn’t aware you
two shared classes?”
“We share most our classes . . . aside from his dancing and art ones and my
music ones,” TJ said, chewing his bottom lip and glancing at Steve.
A slow, proud smile crossed Steve’s face. “I’ve always been proud of you, TJ,
but now I’m learning so much more about my son to make me even prouder.” He
reached over and put a hand over TJ’s. “Good for you. AP classes are a good way
to get the school you want.”
“I’ve . . . I passed all my AP tests last year . . . so, I almost have a year’s
worth of college credits,” TJ reported, slowly opening up about all the things
he’d kept secret.
Steve patted TJ’s hand. He leaned closer, “and I’ll feel like a total ass for
pushing college if it turns out you don’t want it, huh? But, I have enough for
full tuition to an Ivy league for you without dipping into your own funds. If
you choose work instead of college, it should help you get settled, too. I
think, personally, that you should go for the college though.”
“I . . . I . . . think I want to look into the movie composer thing that you
mentioned this morning? I . . .” TJ looked at Kevin as he spoke up.
Kevin interrupted calmly, “as soon as we got you, Dad started putting away
funds for your future, TJ. He has for all of us, but Ava’s using her’s slowly
right now.”
Steve nodded. “Movie composer. That’s going to be hard work with a lot of heavy
competition. We’ll look into what you need to pad your resume so you can get
considered.” He smiled at TJ. “I want you to have every chance to succeed.”
Bucky finally spoke up, offering TJ a reassuring smile, “I think if we start
working on it now, you have a great chance, Teej. You have an amazing talent
and have been putting yourself out there with doing all the music for the
school plays and what not.”
TJ looked between Bucky and Steve again, eyes welling with more tears though
they didn’t spill over. “Y - - you guys mean it?” He looked so unsure and
scared again.
Steve nodded, looking surprised. “TJ, we have always wanted what was best for
you. From that first day in Disney when you saw that three foot wolf toy, I
swore I would do anything I could to get you what you wanted if it was safe for
you. Of course, it wouldn’t be worth it if you didn’t work for it . . . you
can't get a career without effort. But I want to provide you the best chances
to get that education and hard work so you can get the job you will be happy in
for your life. If during college you change your mind, we can set you on a new
career path.” Steve got up and walked over to the teen and hugged him. “You’re
such a bright, special, loving young man. TJ. You deserve the world.”
TJ was suddenly crying again, burrowing his face in Steve’s shoulder. It was
becoming clearer and clearer how much Lucas had managed to abuse TJ. TJ had
spent the last year being beaten down and any confidence he’d managed to build
up had been destroyed by Lucas. His body hadn’t stopped trembling and the teen
tried to focus on keeping his breathing even, everything just felt so
overwhelming.
Kevin suddenly stood up and helped TJ to his feet. “Papa, Dad, can someone make
some soup for us and bring it up? I’m gonna give TJ another bubble bath and
wash him. I promise not to have sex with him, just care for him like he
deserves. But I want him to eat something, too.” And without waiting for his
parents to argue or agree, Kevin led his adoptive brother, cousin, and
boyfriend from the room and up to the hall bathroom.
Bucky looked at Steve, mouth open slightly in surprise. “What . . . how . . .
when did Kevin . . .” Bucky blinked and looked down the hall where the boys had
disappeared to.
Steve suddenly started laughing and shook his head. “My God, Bucky, he’s me!
Without the lack of confidence from years of Brock, Kevin’s me!” He smiled at
his husband. “I used to be that self-assured in high school, too, even though I
had that temper.”
Looking back at Steve, Bucky smiled softly, “yeah, he is definitely your son.”
Smile fading slowly, Bucky sighed, “did TJ say how long he’d been with this
Lucas guy? Steve, he’s . . . he’s not well. Worse than after his family died.”
Nodding, Steve said softly, “I don’t know, but I think Kevin will. I’ll get the
information later. Right now, I’m gonna make that soup. We need to call Bruce
for TJ’s check up and see if we can get Riley to come talk to TJ in a day or
two when he’s calmer. If anyone can get him back in counseling it’ll be Kevin
or Riley.” Sighing, Steve left his half-eaten food and headed into the kitchen
to make the soup for his sons.
Bucky followed Steve into the kitchen, leaving the plates for later. “Steve,”
the brunet kept his voice low as his husband made the soup, “I’ve been doing
some reading . . . TJ’s a submissive personality . . . at least, that’s what I
think. I might have to read more into it . . .”
“No, you’re right, Buck.” Steve turned and flushed lightly. “I was reading
along the same lines, I guess. On the internet. I think TJ’s a very submissive
personality. I just never saw Kevin as dominant before, but the way he’s
handling TJ . . . I think he may be. Would it be disgusting of me to say that
even if they were blood cousins, I’d still think they’re good together? Kevin
can take care of and love TJ the way he needs . . . and TJ’d never hurt Kevin.”
“It’s not disgusting . . . they are good for each other. Thank God that it’s
not illegal for them to love each other. I was . . .” Bucky flushed slightly
and rubbed the back of his neck, “thinking about talking with Kevin, explaining
to him what TJ is, and what he may need? Is that too inappropriate?”
“No, Kevin’s mature enough for that discussion. I think Kevin will need to know
how not to accidentally abuse TJ, since he’s such an easy target.” Steve
finished making the soup and transferred it to thermal bowls he covered. He
added orange juice and apple juice in thermal containers, too, and set
everything on a large tray, as if the pair were sick in bed. “Buck . . . do
you, maybe, think . . . I’m submissive, too?” he didn’t look over.
Thinking that over, Bucky was quiet for a few moments before answering,
“honestly, I think you . . . adapt to what the situation needs? If that makes
sense? Like, you . . . can be submissive but also have definite dominant
traits. But, I wouldn’t describe you as a submissive personality.”
Steve nodded. “I wouldn’t say you are, either. Maybe a swing?” Steve looked at
his husband and smiled softly.
Laughing softly, Bucky nodded, “yeah, I think that’s like most the population.
I think finding a true submissive personality is pretty rare. That’s why people
like TJ often find themselves in such dangerous situations. They just hand over
control . . .”
“Well, we want to help him with making the right choices. How many parents
didn’t see the signs and regret not being able to help their kid later when he
gets hurt?” Steve sighed. “Yeah, I think Kevin’ll be good for him. And Kevin’s
always loved taking care of others. He’ll be delirious taking care of TJ.”
Steve picked up the tray and headed for the door. “Coming with?” he asked
softly.
Bucky nodded and followed Steve to the bathroom. He knocked to announce that
they were coming in before opening the door to let his husband in first.
Steve walked in and was rather relieved to see both boys in a tub full of
bubbles, Kevin behind TJ but only washing his curls. Steve set the tray down on
a stool, pulling it over for them. “Feeling better, guys?” he asked softly.
TJ was leaning fully against Kevin, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the feeling
of the blond’s fingers running through his hair. The brunet teen did look
better, more relaxed and happy in Kevin’s arms. He pushed against Kevin’s
hands, much like a cat.
Kevin smiled as he massaged TJ’s scalp, careful of his injuries. “Yeah, I think
we’re doing better, Dad. Thanks for understanding. And thanks for the thermal
tray. We’ll eat once I’m done bathing Teej.”
Bucky watched the two boys in the tub, TJ’s contented expression. He tapped
Steve’s shoulder, and then said, “we’ll leave you two to get clean and eat. Do
you need pajamas to change into?”
Answering before TJ again, Kevin said, “shorts and a t-shirt for me, Papa.
Teej? You want pajamas?”
“Mhmm,” TJ nodded, curling up to rest against Kevin’s body. “Thank you, Bucky,
Steve.”
“We’ll get those,” Bucky said and patted Steve’s shoulder again before turning
towards the door.
“You guys don’t forget to eat before bed, though. And you promised no date
night until the weekend, so I expect you won’t be tired for school tomorrow.”
Steve let himself from the room and headed towards TJ and Kevin’s shared room.
As the adults left the bathroom, they heard Kevin’s soft voice saying, “I love
you, TJ.”
                                  **********
Bucky didn't get a chance to talk with Kevin for a few days. Their schedules
had been too hectic with the beginning of school and Bucky still working at the
bookstore; there just hadn't been enough time. Finally, Thursday night came
along and Bucky was able to get Kevin alone. Steve and TJ were in the other
room, discussing colleges and what would be needed for a career as a movie
composer.
Sinking down next to Kevin on the couch, setting his laptop down on the coffee
table, Bucky asked, “mind if I talk with you for a little bit, Tiger?”
“Sure, Papa,” Kevin smiled and put his pen down, sliding his research for a
history assignment aside to give Bucky his full attention. “What do you want to
talk about?”
“I’d like to talk with you about TJ, if that’s alright?” Bucky turned his body
to fully face the blond boy.
Nodding, Kevin continued to smile, though the look in his eyes softened, as it
always had when TJ was mentioned. It was hard to believe no one had recognized
the signs of Kevin falling in love sooner. “Okay, Papa. Let’s talk about TJ.”
“Okay,” Bucky offered a soft smile and asked, “so, you said you’ve been in love
with TJ since you were fourteen?”
Nodding, Kevin said, “I’ve always liked then loved TJ, Papa, but when I was
fourteen, maybe around Thanksgiving, I realized I wanted to be with him like
you’re with Dad. I didn’t think that was possible so I never said anything.”
Bucky nodded and ran his flesh hand through his long locks; he gave Kevin
another smile, “and tell me, Kevin, as a lover, what do you think TJ needs from
you?” He wanted to know how much Kevin understood, or at least, had a vague
idea on.
Kevin frowned and thought about that a long time, eyes dropped but not in
shame. Finally, he nodded and looked back at Bucky, meeting his eyes. “He needs
me to be good to him and show him he’s worth something. He needs to feel loved
as much for his mind and heart as for his pretty looks. And he needs me to
support his choices. But I don’t think he believes in himself, Papa, so he
needs me to believe in him for him and show him what he needs to do? I don’t
want to tell him to do things that aren’t good for him, because I think he’d do
that, Papa. I think TJ wants love so much he’s willing to sacrifice himself for
it. I wanna show him he doesn’t need to sacrifice himself because I love him
anyway.” Kevin tilted his head and sighed. “It’s hard to put in words, Papa. I
feel like I have to be a friend and lover and even a parent or teacher all
rolled in one for him. I don’t mind, it’s what he needs?”
Giving the teen a small smile, Bucky said, “your Dad and I, we’re pretty sure
TJ is what’s called a submissive personality. Some of it could be from how he
was raised, the abuse he suffered as a child, and various other circumstances .
. . however, some people are simply born with submissive traits . . . it’s just
a part of them.”
With a soft frown, Kevin said, “submissive . . . like a dog, Papa? Dogs are
submissive to masters . . . they love so much they want to do whatever their
masters say.”
“I guess that is a way of looking at it,” Bucky nodded.
Kevin nodded, “so, if TJ wants to please a lover so much he’d do anything, his
lover has to be careful to make sure to give TJ the right orders and stuff . .
. I’ll have to learn how to help TJ feel good about himself without forcing him
to be the Alpha in a wolfpack, right?” He seemed worried and confused.
“Exactly,” Bucky nodded, “it’s a big responsibility, Kevin, and it’s not going
to be easy, either. TJ is a very easy target for abuse. I am in no way saying
he’s asking for it, but bad people tend to find people like TJ and exploit
them, use them.”
“I think you mean, TJ is asking to feel valuable and loved, and that might
include things that his lover asks him to do, even if they aren’t good things?”
Kevin frowned a bit more, grey eyes worried. “So, maybe Lucas’s been abusing
him the whole time they were together? For over a year?”
Sighing, Bucky nodded, frowning in worry, “your Dad and I weren’t sure how long
TJ had been with Lucas . . . but, yes, Kevin, it’s very possible TJ has been in
an abusive relationship with Lucas for over a year.”
“And maybe his other boyfriends before Lucas,” Kevin nodded. “Papa, I think
it’s good me and TJ had sex. I think he’s suddenly felt, for once in his life,
what it’s like to really be taken care of, even if I don’t know what I’m doing
and he has to show me. But, I like doing things for myself and for others, so
TJ won’t be a fetch and carry slave dog to me.” Slowly, Kevin’s frown turned to
a smile of relief. “I think we happened just in time, Papa.”
Reaching out to brush Kevin’s blond hair from his eyes, Bucky nodded and let
his hand drop back to his lap. “That’s another thing, Kevin. Your Dad and I
know that you’d never intentionally abuse TJ, but we want to make sure you’re .
. . educated on his special needs.”
Nodding enthusiastically, Kevin leaned closer to his adoptive father. “Yes,
please, Papa. I want to learn to take care of TJ. And I want TJ to see Riley
again so he can learn to love himself.”
“We’re going to be working on that. We both noticed some heavy signs of
emotional, not just physical, abuse the other night. TJ needs to go back into
counseling.” Bucky leaned over to grab his laptop before opening it and firing
it up. “Riley and Sam are coming over tomorrow, if that’s okay? I know you said
Friday and Saturdays you wanted as date night, but we figured that TJ needed to
speak with Riley as soon as possible.”
“I think our first date night, and I’ll talk to TJ about it, should be learning
how to go about being together. You and Dad said we’re gonna get a lot of hate
for being together, so we need to learn how to cope with that, too.” Kevin
leaned against Bucky. “Do you know if there’s someone that teaches lovers how
to take care of submissive partners properly, Papa?” Kevin felt no
embarrassment talking about any subject, including sex, with his parents. He
trusted them to give him good, honest answers to help guide him.
“Well,” Bucky said, typing a few things on the laptop before turning it to face
Kevin, “I don’t know about teachers but there are plenty of websites that offer
a lot of helpful ideas and things you’d need to know. We can look into
teachers, but you can always start with this?”
Kevin looked intently at the site his adoptive father had found. He began
reading, pulling over his notebook and flipping the page from his history
report. He began taking notes as he read, marking key points and ideas, lost in
teaching himself to take care of the young man he loved. After a long moment,
Kevin smiled at something he read. “Oh! I can arrange rules with TJ so he knows
what I expect of him and won’t be so confused and floundering trying to figure
it out. We can learn together, Papa!” Kevin sounded truly excited to be
starting on this path with his boyfriend.
Smiling softly, Bucky nodded, happy that Kevin was so excited for this and not
worried or feeling overwhelmed. “I think rules would be good for him. Just like
you said, he won’t be struggling so hard to figure out what you want.”
Nodding, Kevin suddenly hugged Bucky. “Thank you so much for helping us, Papa.
I know how much you love us every time you do something, but this . . .” Kevin
lifted tear-washed grey eyes, “this proves you want what’s best for us even if
you and Dad are uncomfortable.”
Dropping a kiss to Kevin’s head, Bucky said, “your Dad and I will always try to
support what’s best for you. We both think you and TJ are really good for one
another and we know you two will be what the other needs.” Bucky offered
another smile to his son, “I love you so, so much, Tiger.”
“I love you so, so much, too, My Bucky.” Kevin kissed Bucky’s cheek and happily
went back to writing. “When can I ask TJ to come in to start learning this with
me, Papa? I think he needs to know.”
“You can go get him now, if you want,” Bucky offered.
Kevin jumped up. “I’ll get him, Papa. I want to explain what we’re doing first
so he doesn’t think he’s in trouble when he sees you sitting here, too.” The
blond boy rushed out, Avenger huffing to his feet to follow faithfully.
Bucky watched Kevin rush from the room with a fond smile, happy to do anything
he could to help his boys.
                                  **********
Kevin hurried to his shared bedroom with TJ and opened the door, looking in to
see what the other teen was doing. He smiled, eyes softening as always, as he
watched TJ for a few minutes unnoticed.
TJ seemed completely absorbed in the paper he was looking at, and by the
rhythmical tapping of his fingers on the sheet under him, it was safe to assume
he was writing a song. He didn’t even notice Kevin open the door, or the fact
that the younger teen watched him. Steve had left since they were done
researching his career choice for the moment.
When Malakai shifted at TJ’s feet to stare at the other pair, Kevin finally
greeted softly, “Hey, TJ. Sorry I interrupted. I can come back.” His tone was
happy and excited.
Head snapping up, TJ blinked as he realized who stood in the doorway and then a
smile spread onto his face. “Oh! Hey, Kev. No, you’re fine.” He glanced over at
the digital clock on his nightstand and tilted his head. Looking back at his
boyfriend, TJ said, “it’s not dinner time yet? Is something wrong?”
“Nope, nothing wrong, not dinner time,” Kevin smiled and walked over. He leaned
in for a gentle kiss. “Just wanted to come get you to see what I’m learning
now. Papa and Dad felt I needed to learn how to take care of you right since
I’ve never had a boyfriend, especially one so precious.”
Flushing, TJ let out a soft chuckle and said, “I . . . okay?” He flipped his
notebook closed, leaving the mess of papers and books on the bed and then stood
up. “What . . . what are you learnin’ about?”
“I’m learning about something called ‘submissive’ people, and how to make sure
they don’t get hurt because the want to please their lovers so much.” Kevin
held out a hand. “People who love so much and want to please so much are called
submissive and are very special people who need special attention. I’m learning
how to please you by listening and sharing and giving you what you need. It’ll
be easier to show you, baby, but rules are important so you know what I expect
from you and you want from me?”
Blinking, looking surprised, TJ accepted Kevin’s hand, letting the blond guide
him out of the room. “I . . . you’re learning? I’m sorry that I’m makin’ you
research . . .” the brunet bit at his bottom lip, worrying at it between his
teeth.
Kevin chuckled and stole a kiss. “I’m not sorry, TJ. I love learning and
learning how to take care of you is the best lesson ever.” He lead the older
teen down to the living room and Bucky. “Papa wanted to be sure I take care of
you right, so he showed me a really good website about it. Hey, Papa, I brought
TJ down to learn, too.” Kevin led the other boy to the couch and sat him down,
sinking next to him so he could keep holding TJ’s hand. “And the website shows
a submissive how to take care of their dominant, too, so you can learn how to
help me, too, Teej.” Kevin smiled happily at his boyfriend.
Bucky stayed with the boys for a few more minutes before he stood up and headed
towards the kitchen to give them some privacy to learn.
TJ looked at the screen, reading through the page that Kevin had up and then
back to his boyfriend, “I didn’t . . . I didn’t know there was a word for what
I am?”
“Neither did I,” Kevin stole a soft kiss. “I just knew you need extra special
guidance to make yourself happy while you make your lover happy. I didn’t know
how to give you that, but Papa recognized it and was able to show me. Now, we
can learn to be good lovers to each other, together, baby.” Kevin slid an arm
around his boyfriend and pulled over his notes. “I even started jotting ideas
for rules for us.”
Looking down at the notebook, TJ smiled softly as he read some of the rules
Kevin had already began to come up with. “I . . . thank you so much, Kev . . .
I . . .” TJ buried his face in Kevin’s neck. He took several deep breaths,
taking in his boyfriend’s natural scent. “This . . . you . . .” TJ struggled to
come up with the right words to express his feelings. “No one has ever . . .”
Kevin exposed his neck more, humming in pleasure at the nuzzling, the
exploring. “TJ, I know you want to please me because you love me. But I want to
please you because I love you, too. And now I can learn how to make it work.
You like . . . doing things for your lover, even being told what to wear and
do. I know because you let me put makeup on you and never once argued. So, I
promise this: I will do my best to always make sure whatever I tell you to do
or make you do is good for you, not hurtful or degrading.” Kevin flicked his
mouse to bring up more information, skipping the BDSM bits to concentrate on
the strictly subDom stuff for the moment. He knew TJ hadn’t minded hair
pulling, but he’d wait until they started getting into pleasure-pain
boundaries. His own memories of his abuse would never fade, so the trauma was
always close for him, too. Someday he might be ready to explore pain, but for
the moment, he felt discipline of a more cerebral kind would be best.
Keening softly, just at the idea of Kevin telling him what to wear, giving him
rules to live by, TJ continued to nuzzle. He wasn’t pushing for sex, but he
felt the need for attention, for love and assurance that Kevin really was there
for him. The slightly larger teen was practically in Kevin’s lap, curling up
small against the blond.
“Teej, want me to start laying out a couple choices in the mornings for your
school clothes? Narrows down how much you have to look through?” Kevin
suggested.
“Yes, please, Kev,” TJ nodded, scooting the rest of the way onto Kevin’s lap,
his arms wrapped around the blond’s neck, bringing himself even closer. “Wanna
look good for you, Kev . . .”
Enjoying the closeness, not bothered that TJ had crawled onto him and cuddled
so close, so possessively, Kevin wrote down the idea for the wardrobe. He
kissed TJ's temple as he worked, unaware their parents had just come in, "and
you have to promise that if someone says something derogatory, you'll tell me.
Promise?"
“I promise, Kev, I promise to tell you,” TJ nodded, not lifting his head from
Kevin’s neck.
“Good,” Kevin nodded. “Because we won’t be able to stop the hate, but we can
comfort each other, right?” He lifted his hand to stroke down TJ’s back, much
as Steve liked to stroke Bucky when they were alone and relaxing.
“I love you. I love you so much, Kev,” TJ mewled, keeping as close as possible
to his new boyfriend, clinging almost desperately.
Smiling, Kevin turned his head to kiss lingeringly at TJ’s temple. “I love you
more, baby.”
Steve looked to Bucky, flushing at having witnessed the private moment. He
gestured back out of the room.
Bucky followed Steve out and sighed softly once they were in a new room. The
brunet leaned into his husband, “well . . . it’s safe to say they’re happy
right now.”
Nodding, Steve cuddled his husband close. “Yeah, we’ll keep an eye out, learn
what they need, and guide them. I think Kevin can get TJ in to see Riley. Did
you ask him to try?”
“I told Kevin that Sam and Riley are coming over tomorrow. Remember? We asked
them over for dinner on Tuesday,” Bucky reported.
“Yeah, I remember, we decided that, even though it’s date night, we’d try to
see if Riley could talk to TJ.” Steve looked back towards the living room. “I
managed to get TJ working on his audition piece for college. He wants to go to
a school in the City.” Stroking Bucky’s hair, Steve softly said, “I guess Kevin
was receptive to the submissive information, huh?”
“Yeah, Kevin seems really interested in all the caring for aspects. I showed
him that website we found and he’s already taking notes,” Bucky smiled softly,
letting out a small sigh of relief.
“I’d never have put the word dominant to Kevin . . . but he seems to be made to
dominate TJ,” Steve smiled softly, eyes worried. “They’ll need so much guidance
and support.”
“Kevin mentioned something about a teacher for subDom relationships . . . I
don’t know if they actually have those? I don’t want them going to a sex class
. . . I don’t think either of them are ready for the BDSM that usually comes
hand in hand.” Bucky frowned softly in worry.
Steve nodded. “We’ll ask Riley about that before he talks to the boys. As a
nurse for the Maria Stark clinic, I bet he sees a lot of alternate lifestyles.”
“Good idea,” Bucky nodded and then looked up at Steve, “God, what’s going to
happen when people find out about them, Stevie? I’m so terrified that they’re
gonna get hurt . . .”
“We start by telling Clint and Natasha and getting their help. We spread the
word through our friends and let them spread the word, explaining laws and such
as they go. Word of mouth can help a lot. I know they’ll be hurt and abused,
and all we can do is prepare them, arm them with words and emotional support,
and give them understanding and love and support. We should keep some hotline
numbers handy, including a suicide hotline, Bucky. Teens get emotionally
overwhelmed so easily and we want them to have help at their fingertips. Most
of all, we don’t shame them or allow them to feel they’re wrong. They are
perfect the way they are.” Sighing, Steve buried his face in Bucky’s temple and
whispered, “thank God neither’s a girl. That would be so much worse because of
possible pregnancy. At least this way, people might accept them better?”
Sighing in return, Bucky nodded, “I want them to be happy, and if it’s with
each other, then I’m going to support that. But . . . God, it’d be so much
easier for them if they were with other people.”
“I think, despite trying to make them both feel natural parts of our family, we
need to remind people that TJ is adopted, our cousin. And Kevin’s my biological
son, so no blood relation. If we can get that in their heads, maybe the fact
that they spent six years living as brothers won’t be as bad in the public eye?
How . . . Bucky . . . how do we approach the social media thing? You know,
it’ll wind up on there sooner rather than later. Do we help them post it?”
“We can speak to Matt and Foggy about that. See what they say? They’d know more
about that than us,” Bucky suggested.
Blue eyes lighting with sudden hope, Steve nodded. “Maybe we can call them? I
know it’s late, but they always said if it was important to call?” Steve was
very glad they’d wound up with Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson as lawyers. The
couple was very understanding and supportive.
“Right now?” Bucky asked, his brows rising with surprise. “Oh, I found
something out that we’d been worrying about . . . we can call Matt and Foggy
after I tell you.”
“Okay,” Steve led Bucky to the dining room chairs so they could sit. He took
his husband’s hands, smiling.
Looking at Steve, Bucky sighed and said, “you know how we were wondering how
long TJ and Lucas were together?”
“Yes, you found out?” Steve’s smile slipped and he looked worried again. “How
long? He messed TJ up so bad . . .”
“Over a year, from what Kevin told me. And, Kevin thinks it’s possible that
TJ’s other boyfriends could’ve abused him as well,” Bucky rubbed the back of
his neck, looking worried and frustrated. He wished these things would stop
happening to their family.
“I think Kevin’s probably right,” Steve sighed and nodded. “How long back did
he start dating?”
“He said he started having sex again when he was sixteen . . . but, I don’t
know if that means dating as well?” Bucky shook his head, meeting Steve’s eyes
across the table.
“Okay, Bucky, I think we have to go carefully when asking him these things. Let
him know we don’t think he’s bad for it. We’re just curious and wanted to know
if he had other boyfriends or lovers who maybe didn’t treat him well? That
we’re not pressing charges, we just want to know how long he might have been
feeling bad or something?” Steve ran his hand through his hair and over the
back of his neck. “I wish I had the right words.”
“Maybe we wait and let Riley ask? He’ll know the best way to ask without making
TJ feel like we’re judging him or that he’s in trouble,” Bucky suggested, “he’s
so damn fragile right now. Saying the wrong thing could be seriously
detrimental.”
“Right,” Steve agreed. “We get Riley’s advice about this. I want to help TJ,
not make him feel like he’s done things wrong that we’re ashamed of.”
Sighing again, Bucky softly asked, “why do these things keep happening, Steve?”
“Because we’re nice people, Bucky, and assholes home in on nice people.” Steve
hugged Bucky to him.
Shaking his head, Bucky took and released a deep breath before saying, “you
still wanna call Matt and Foggy?”
“Tomorrow, after we talk to Riley, I think. Or do you think I should invite
them over for dinner, too? I don’t think that’d be good, right?” Steve ran his
hand over his neck, starting to become agitated with worry.
“No, too many people might make TJ feel like we’re ganging up on him. Just
Riley and Sam, then we’ll call Matt and Foggy either after dinner or Saturday
morning.” Bucky carefully reached over to take Steve’s hand, preventing him
from touching his rubbed-raw neck.
Sighing again, Steve leaned in to touch his forehead to Bucky’s. “I worry so
much about our boys, Buck. I love them so much. I only want what’s good for
them . . . what’ll make them happy.”
“Me, too,” Bucky sighed softly, “we’ll do whatever we can, Stevie. They’re our
boys and I know we’re gonna try our damn hardest to make sure they are happy
and healthy.”
***** The Old Versus the New *****
Chapter Notes
     WARNINGS: Fight, Teen Angst, Seizures, Injuries, Domestic Abuse, Teen
     Issues, Anxiety Disorder
Riley hugged TJ and smiled as the boy wiped his face with the tissues. “Gonna
be okay, Teej?” he asked softly. They’d just spent two long hours delving into
TJ’s recent past and his thoughts, feelings, and fears. Riley had even managed
to get the boy to agree to come back to counseling starting Tuesday.
“I - - I think so?” TJ sniffled and let out a sigh as he dropped his hand back
into his lap. The bruising on temple and cheek had faded into a greenish-
yellow; TJ hoped they'd be completely gone in a few days. “I'm just . . . I'm
still scared?”
“Of course you are, TJ. That fear was built over a long time, so it won’t go
away overnight. But your family is here to help you, and so am I. I want you to
do something before coming to counseling on Tuesday. I want you to take a piece
of paper and write down the names of all your family and friends. We can talk
about that on Tuesday and figure out your support system, who you want to
include or not, okay?”
TJ nodded and gave Riley a watery smile, “okay . . . thanks for talking with
me. I - - I . . .” the teen bit his lip and worried at it, dropping his head,
“I didn’t know I . . . I was so messed up.”
Riley smiled. “Yeah, it’s easy to get messed up and trapped and want to get
things right. Sometimes it takes someone else to see if for us. But while we
talk, I’ll help you get skills to see this in the future and learn how to
protect and empower yourself, TJ. Deal?”
Nodding, TJ looked back up and sighed, “deal . . .”
Riley smiled and asked, “need a hug?”
Looking at Riley for a few moments, TJ slowly nodded, not trusting himself to
speak.
The therapist wrapped his arms around the boy and hugged him, his hands on the
backs of TJ’s shoulders. “You’re a brave good boy, TJ. You’re going to do
great.”
                                  **********
The weekend came and went; by Monday, TJ felt far more relaxed and happy than
he had in a very long time. Being able to be with Kevin as a boyfriend, lover,
and friend was everything TJ could’ve ever asked for, and with Steve and Bucky
being so supportive, TJ didn’t have to worry about being judged or in trouble
for his romantic feelings about Kevin.
Shutting the locker he and Kevin shared after he grabbed his book for Music
Theory, TJ started heading in the direction of that class. It was one of the
only classes he didn’t share with his boyfriend, so he had to walk there alone.
“Hey, babe,” a deeper masculine voice purred out. “Missed you so much. You’re
looking really pretty today.” Lucas stepped over to TJ and leaned in to nuzzle
his neck, one arm going around his waist protectively, possessively. “Thanks
for bailing me out. I was really stupid last week. Had some messed up news
about my dad. Never meant to take it out on you.”
TJ’s body stiffened in Lucas’ arms but he didn’t try to pull away, knowing
better from being the older teen’s boyfriend for over a year. “I . . . uh . . .
it’s okay. But, I - - I meant what I told you over the phone. We . . . we
aren’t a thing anymore. You . . . you need help, Lucas . . . you’re . . .
you’re sick?” TJ suddenly hated that Music Theory happened to be in a more
isolated wing of the high school and he’d already been running a bit late so no
students were lingering in halls.
Lucas frowned. “Sick?” There was a low warning tone to his voice. “Whatcha
mean, sick, babe?”
Swallowing thickly, going a few shades paler, TJ stuttered to correct himself,
“I - - I mean . . . you have a . . . temper? Th - - that’s why we suggested the
. . . counseling?”
“We?” Lucas pushed TJ up to a locker, trapping him by pushing his own body up
against TJ’s slender frame. “You been talking behind my back with someone else?
Talking crap about me? Someone’s filling your head with this bullshit and
turning you against me?”
“N - - no! Promise!” TJ shook his head, “I - - I was talkin’ with Steve! H - -
he said that you need help.” The brunet let out a low whimper, “Lucas . . .
you’re scaring me . . .”
“Steve, huh?” Lucas nodded, eyes narrowed. “We’ll see about that. Dude thinks
I’m sick and need help? Wants ta lock me away? You’re what keeps me sane,
babe.” He leaned in for a kiss.
“I’m with someone else!” TJ exclaimed, pulling his head away as far as he
could, the locker rattling behind him as he pushed against it.
Lucas growled and slammed TJ back against the locker, the noise echoing down
the halls. “You’re with me until I say so! You promised you were my guy! You
breaking promises now? Fucking other guys? You acting like a slut now? My dad
warned me I was being too good, but I insisted you needed a gentle hand.”
“No! I - - I . . . I’m sorry!” TJ’s head throbbed from where it had slammed
against the locker, as well as his shoulder, “I - - I . . . you hit me . . .”
“TJ, I’m sorry I’m late,” Kevin’s soft voice interrupted the pair, bringing
attention to Malakai’s unheeded growls and pushing body, the dog trying to get
between his master and Lucas. “Please take your hands off TJ, Lucas. You have
no right to touch him.”
Lucas whirled around, letting TJ go, and growled low, “you fucking faggot. You
don’t tell me what to do!” He used a strong leg to push the husky a bit away
from him.
TJ didn’t even think as he brought his heavy book down on Lucas’ arm, just
trying to hurt him enough to distract him so they could get away.
With a roar, Lucas whirled back and reached for TJ, at the same time kicking at
Malakai. Kevin leapt on the larger boy’s back, wrapping long, strong legs and
arms around Lucas and screaming at the top of his well-trained lungs. The
commotion brought people running, doors up and down the hall opening as
teachers and students came to see what was happening. Kevin screamed, “you
don’t kick that dog! Leave Teej alone!” Avenger started barking, his tone
turning to an insistent yipping noise the cousins knew all too well, though
Kevin was too incensed to listen.
Rushing forward, letting his book fall to the floor, TJ began prying Kevin off
of Lucas. With all the flailing Lucas was doing, TJ caught an elbow near his
eye. As he pulled his boyfriend off the larger teen, TJ carefully made the
blond lie down in the middle of the hall.
Several teachers ran up and another bolted off to get the school nurse. One
teacher grabbed Lucas and another began helping TJ, while a third checked on
Malakai then directed students back to their classrooms so they could get help
through the halls. Kevin’s eyes had already rolled back and he was going into a
full clonic-tonic seizure.
TJ counted under his breath as he made sure all of Kevin’s restrictive clothing
was loosened and that he was in no danger of hurting himself. He didn’t pay any
mind to his own throbbing head from being slammed into the locker and then
getting elbowed near the eye.
The nurse arrived and sank to his knees beside the distressed student. He kept
a close eye on Kevin as he asked, “how long so far?” He set his stopwatch as
soon as he asked then let it dangle from a cord on his neck while he checked
the seizing boy over.
“T - - two minutes,” TJ reported, eyes wide as he was helpless to do anything
to help his best friend, his lover.
Nodding, the nurse called out, “Mr. Higgins, call an ambulance.” He had named
the teacher trying to help so the man kneeling beside TJ stood and pulled out
his cellphone, backing out of the way and reaching down to touch Avenger’s
head. He signaled another teacher to tend Malakai while the first teacher, the
actual music teacher, pulled Lucas off down the hall. Despite her small size,
she was a feisty woman who didn’t take nonsense, reminded Kevin of Natasha he
would sometimes say.
As Kevin stopped shaking, his body going fully lax, his eyes staring straight
ahead without really registering, the nurse began checking him over again,
nodding. “He’s breathing fine, TJ,” the man said. “Your brother’ll be okay.”
“O - - okay,” TJ nodded, hands trembling as he reached out to lovingly brush
Kevin’s blond hair from his eyes. “You’re gonna be okay, Kev. The ambulance is
coming . . . you’re gonna be jus’ fine.”
Kevin barely blinked, the slight stench of bodily waste coming from the
postictal teen.
The nurse turned to check on the dogs and frowned. “TJ? Was Malakai hurt? I
think there’s red in his fur.” He moved to check on the service dog.
Looking over, finally showing his own bruising, swelling eye, TJ said, “he . .
. he got hurt last week. It’s probably his stitches.” TJ was torn between
staying close to Kevin or checking on Malakai.
The nurse began examining the dog, “Yes, the stitches ripped.” He turned to
pull some supplies from his medical bag he always carried when called from his
office. “And you’re hurt?”
“I’m fine,” TJ said, looking between Kevin and Malakai. He turned his attention
back to the blond teen and ran his trembling fingers through Kevin’s hair
again. “Just rest now, Kevin. Everything is gonna be okay,” TJ cooed softly.
Mr. Higgins stepped closer and used his free hand to check TJ’s injuries,
carefully turning the boy’s head. Into the phone he said, “need a second
ambulance. One of the service dogs’ll need emergency stitches.”
“I’m okay,” TJ insisted again, pulling his head from Mr. Higgins’ hand to look
at Malakai and then Kevin again.
Nodding, not arguing, the teacher went off to meet the ambulance crews so he
could direct them down the remote hallway with only three classrooms along it.
The nurse stroked Malakai’s fur near his head and said, “TJ, come tend your
dog. He’s trembling and refuses to cooperate. I’ll need you to hold this
bandage over his wound until the ambulance arrives. I’ll tend Kevin.”
Running his fingers through Kevin’s hair one last time, TJ nodded and switched
places with the nurse. He cooed to his service dog and held the bloody bandage
to Malakai’s injury.
Fortunately, when the ambulance arrived the students had been kept in their
classrooms, so the halls were clear. Two stretchers arrived, one for Kevin and
the other for Malakai. The ambulance driver said, “Hey, TJ. You gonna help us
get your Malakai settled and come with us to make sure he stays calm?” The EMT
helped his co workers put the unresponsive Kevin onto a stretcher, noting that
Kevin was aware just incredibly lethargic.
“Yeah,” TJ shakily agreed, his eyes kept flickering between the dog and Kevin.
He helped the driver get Malakai onto the stretcher and keep him calm.
Finally, the teams were ready and started bringing their patients back down the
hall, one EMT calling, “hey, TJ, grab Avenger’s lead?” Avenger whimpered.
TJ grabbed Avenger’s leash with one slightly bloody hand and then hurried to
follow the EMT’s out of the school. They loaded one stretcher in each
ambulance, Avenger with Kevin and TJ with Malakai, then shut the doors to take
them to the Maria Stark Clinic, as had been a long-standing order on the files
for both boys.
                                  **********
Bucky’s phone rang while he was helping a particularly demanding customer who
was displeased with the arrangement of the historical selections at the store.
Knowing that specific ringtone was for TJ and Kevin’s school calling, Bucky
said, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have to answer this. Pietro,” he called, “come
help her, please?” Without waiting for confirmation, Bucky hurried into the
backroom and answered, “Hello? James Rogers speaking?”
“This is the principal, Mr. Rogers. Your boy, Kevin, had a seizure and is on
the way to the clinic. As best we can tell right now, it happened during a
fight. Thomas’ dog was also injured and is on the way to the clinic. The nurse
reports that Thomas looked injured but refused medical help. We have the other
boy from the fight, a Lucas Rumlow.”
“Wait - -” Bucky’s breath caught in the back of his throat and he asked,
“Rumlow?” He was already heading towards Steve’s attached art gallery to let
him know that both their boys were on their way to the clinic . . . again.
Steve looked up, frowning, but didn’t ask anything as he saw Bucky was on the
phone. Fortunately there were no customers and Steve had already cleaned up his
supplies so he could take a long break.
“Yes, Mr. Rogers. Lucas Rumlow. From what teachers witnessed, your son, Kevin,
was beating up Lucas before the seizure started.”
“Lucas attacked Thomas last week . . . do you know if there was another
incident between them before Kevin attacked Lucas?” Bucky met Steve’s eyes,
looking incredibly worried.
“We haven’t gotten to talk to your boys yet and Lucas is waiting for his mother
to show up. He refuses to speak without her present. The sound of Kevin
screaming brought the teachers and there were no other witnesses because the
class bell had already run and classes had already started. Ah,” the man
responded as if he found something, “I see the report that Lucas is on
probationary status, but there’s nothing about a restraining order or who he
was supposed to have hurt?”
Steve mouthed, shocked, ‘Kevin attacked?’
Nodding, still looking at Steve, Bucky said into the phone, “we will talk with
the boys when we get to the clinic. Will . . . will there be any disciplinary
actions?”
“We want to get all three views first, because we realize it could have been
far deeper than Kevin jumping Lucas for who knows what reason, especially in
light of this probationary status. When possible, I’d like to meet with you and
your husband to discuss this further. For now, I’d like all three boys kept
home, not as a permanently recorded punishment but as a precaution until we
sort this out. Is that acceptable, Mr. Rogers?”
“Yes, of course,” Bucky nodded, “thank you.”
“Thank you for your willingness to work through this. Please, call us with the
status of the boys and the dogs? We’re concerned for them.” The principal
sounded genuinely worried.
“We will. Thank you,” before the conversation could go on any further, Bucky
hung up and let out a deep sigh. “We need to get to the clinic,” he informed
his husband, “TJ and Kevin got in a fight with Lucas . . .”
Nodding, Steve headed to the connecting door and called out, “Pietro? The kids
were in an accident. We’re heading to the hospital. Studio’s closed for now.”
As if by magic, the nasty customer grew sympathetic and quiet, merely watching
the worried men as they passed, not demanding attention.
Leading Steve to their car, Bucky unlocked it and slipped behind the driver’s
seat, buckling himself in. He waited until Steve did the same before he pulled
out of the spot and headed in the direction of the clinic. “Steve? Lucas . . .
his last name is Rumlow? Did . . . did you know that?”
Frowning, Steve shook his head. “He gave the police the last name Freidburg,
nothing about Rumlow.” Steve looked confused and very worried. “What happened?”
“As far as the staff can tell, Kevin had a seizure while attacking Lucas.
Malakai was hurt, enough that he needs stitches. The nurse said that TJ was
injured as well but refused medical attention?” Bucky looked at Steve and then
back at the road, frowning in intense worry.
Nodding, Steve said, “I’m going to call the cop dealing with their case to meet
us at the clinic. If Lucas did anything, I’m gonna make sure TJ gets a
restraining order.” He shook his head, “Rumlow? Why’d he give two different
names?”
“I have no idea,” Bucky sighed, “but . . . I don’t like him anywhere near our
boys if he’s related to Brock. Why would TJ refuse medical attention?”
“If Lucas hurt him, he probably also convinced TJ he deserved it. Or he could
have wanted Kevin and Malakai treated first. We’ll find out and get him the
treatment anyway.” Steve gestured to their turnoff, just out of nerves. “There,
the garage.”
Bucky eased the car into an available spot and parked it. Hurrying out, Bucky
waited for his husband before they headed into the clinic. Spotting Sharon,
Bucky called out as they approached the nurse, “Sharon! They okay?”
Nodding, hurrying over to the two very familiar men, she smiled, though it was
a grim smile. “Kevin’s seizure lasted almost six minutes. Bruce is in with him
right now. Riley’s talking to TJ while he stitches up Malakai. TJ seems to be
in shock.” She turned them down another hall and had to card them through two
doors before leading them down yet another hall. She turned and led them down
to the joined rooms the boys were in; for some reason the teens hadn’t been put
in the same room this time.
Frowning softly, Bucky looked over at Steve and then at Sharon, “why are they
in separate rooms?”
She sighed, “no doubles were available. We’ve had an influx from a mass transit
accident and were pressed into helping with the victims of the train accident.
Don’t worry, the boys are in the high security wing and the common public are
locked down in the intake wing.” Sharon stopped outside the doors to answer the
questions softly.
“Is TJ still refusing treatment?” Bucky asked, his tone filled with worry as he
kept up with the blond nurse they’d known for over fifteen years.
“He’s not exactly refusing treatment, actually. He’s just insisting he’s not
hurt at all. I think he’s in shock. He has a head injury, as well as an eye
injury. But Riley’s got him talking and keeping an eye on him.TJ insisted
Malakai get treated first.” She looked from one parent to the other. “We
haven’t yet asked how this happened.”
Steve nodded. “Let’s give Riley a few more minutes and look in on Kevin real
quick? If he’s postictal, which’ll be for awhile, he just needs to see us then
we can go to TJ?”
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed with a nod, letting Sharon and Steve lead him into Kevin’s
room. It seemed that Kevin was still in the lethargic, unresponsive state; from
past experience they knew that would last up to an hour or more.
Steve walked over and stroked Kevin’s hair gently, cooing to the boy. He then
pet Avenger’s ears and turned back to Kevin. “We’re gonna go check on TJ now.
We’ll be back soon, Kev.” Kevin blinked sluggishly. Stroking his son’s hair
once more, Steve leaned over and kissed the exhausted boy. He left Bucky to
commune with Kevin a few minutes and slipped into the other room. “TJ?
Sweetheart?”
TJ’s head snapped in the direction of Steve's voice; luckily the swelling on
his eye wasn't too bad but it was already turning a deep shade of purple. The
brunet teen sat right next to Malakai as Riley finished up stitching the dog’s
wound. Even from where Steve stood he could see TJ’s thin frame trembled
slightly. Swallowing thickly, TJ looked back at Malakai with wide eyes. Lifting
a hand, the fingers still caked with dried blood from holding the bandage to
the oozing wound, TJ stroked Malakai’s fur.
Steve walked over and put a hand on TJ’s shoulder, careful in case there were
hidden injuries. “How’s he doing, baby?”
“It's my fault,” TJ rasped, not tearing his eyes from the dog. “He keeps
gettin’ hurt and it's my fault. Same with Kevin . . . he wouldn't have been so
stressed . . .”
Steve asked softly, “were you the one who kicked Malakai?”
“I coulda done more . . . I - - I just froze. I couldn’t . . .” TJ eyes blurred
with tears and he hung his head, bloodied fingers still caressing the husky’s
soft fur.
“Did you tell someone to kick Malakai?” Steve asked. “We all have something
hardwired into us. It’s called fight, flight, or freeze, TJ. Most people
instinctively fall on flight or freeze. It’s automatic and we have no control.
Very few people slip into fight when faced with a threat. You didn’t ask or
tell anyone to hurt Malakai or Kevin or even you.” Steve stroked again. “Can
you tell me what happened?”
“I'm fine. I'm not the one who had a seizure or that needs stitches . . .
again,” TJ sighed and finally looked back up at Steve. “Lucas . . . he - - I
was walking to my Music Theory class and he was there. He . . . he grabbed me
and started nuzzling and apologizing. I told him that we aren't together
anymore and that he needs help ‘cause he’s sick. He got angry and then tried to
kiss me . . . I told him I was with someone else. Then, Kevin showed up and . .
. it happened so fast . . .” TJ worried at his bottom lip, shifting in his
chair with a slight wince, just realizing how much his shoulder hurt from where
it had collided with the steel locker. The brunet didn't voice any complaints
about his own injuries.
Steve sighed and nodded. “TJ, Lucas can be persuasive, I’m sure, and have his
good moments, but this was going beyond everything. First his attack on you
last week, and now another attack . . . injuring Malakai? Causing Kevin that
kind of stress? I’m going to press charges on him this time. I’m getting a
restraining order to keep him away from you and Kevin and the dogs.” Steve
lifted TJ’s chin. “You’ve got a large heart and forgiving nature, trying to
give him the benefit of the doubt and get him help. But I think Lucas needs a
tougher approach to learn from his mistakes. And he needs to do it where he
can’t continue hurting our family.”
Riley turned from Malakai, washing his hands. He stroked the fur of the dog,
checking that his bandages were secure and the small amount of pain medicine
was lasting. Nodding, the nurse turned to TJ and said, “we’ve seen to Kevin and
Malakai, and Avenger wasn’t even touched. Now, TJ, it’s your turn.”
“I - - I'm fine,” TJ murmured, he tried to ignore the guilt swelling inside him
at the idea of Lucas going to prison. He knew that he'd hurt Malakai, caused
Kevin enough stress to send him into a seizure . . . but he couldn't stop
himself from feeling like he could've done more . . . somehow been able to help
Lucas not get this bad.
Riley nodded and pulled over a hand mirror, turning it to show TJ his bruised
and swollen face. “Oh really?”
Flinching at his reflection, TJ quickly ducked his head, his fingers tapping
anxiously on his thighs. “I . . . it doesn't hurt that bad?”
“Doesn’t matter if it hurts, TJ, though if it doesn’t, there may be nerve
damage . . . which is pretty serious. You’re hurt, I’m a nurse. I’m going to
take care of you.” Riley gestured towards TJ’s shirt. “Wanna cooperate?”
Sighing softly, TJ didn't look up as he eased his t-shirt off, wincing as he
moved his sore shoulder. He let the fabric fall unheeded to his lap and gave
the nurse access to the darkly bruising shoulder.
“Shit,” Steve swore softly, touching the non-injured portion of TJ’s shoulder
“Lucas did this to you, baby? He’s as bad as his damn father!”
“He . . . slammed me against the lockers . . . but, he was angry . . . wasn't
thinking clearly,” TJ muttered, fighting the instinct to wrap his arms around
himself.
Steve shook his head. “This is exactly what we spoke about last week, Teej.
Lucas needs to learn to control his temper or he’ll kill someone. But he’s not
going to practice that on you. Thank God you’re with Kevin now. He’ll be good
to you, treat you like you deserve.” Steve sounded so worried.
“I . . . I didn't even protect Kevin,” TJ whimpered, voice thickening with
rising tears. “I'm a bad boyfriend.”
Steve lifted his adopted son’s chin and shook his head. “TJ, you were
brutalized and frightened. How can you expect to think clearly enough to
protect someone? We can get you self-defense classes if you want them. A taser
even. But don’t go blaming yourself for your fear.” Steve very carefully hugged
the teen. “We love you. Kevin loves you. Together, we’ll work through this.”
“But . . .” TJ bit his bottom lip, trying his hardest to keep back the tears
that wanted to come out, “a boyfriend is supposed to protect . . . I just let .
. .” He finally wrapped his arms around his thin torso, ignoring the pain that
flared from his wounded shoulder.
“A boyfriend is supposed to love, support, and help, not necessarily fight, TJ.
Not everyone's a fighter. And with training, you can learn how to protect Kevin
if that’s what you want.” Steve hugged TJ to him, still wary of that bruised
shoulder. “You didn’t just let anything happen. I’ll bet you tried to tell
Lucas to stop.”
Whimpering, TJ shook his head, “I didn't even do that!” Steve could see that a
very small portion of TJ’s dark curls were matted with blood.
“Riley,” Steve said, “I think TJ’s bleeding.”
Riley began looking through TJ’s hair and grabbed some scissors to clip away
the clumps carefully. He nodded, “TJ, you were actually pretty seriously hurt.
It’s no wonder you couldn’t respond to the threats around you. I’m going to
have to give you stitches, too.”
TJ looked up at Steve, pale eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Why didn't he
listen, Steve? I - - I told him that we weren't together anymore . . . I don't
understand. . . “
Sighing, Steve held the teen close while Riley worked, injecting lidocaine in
TJ’s scalp so he could start stitching his skin. “For some people, consent
means possession and ownership. I’m afraid Lucas thinks anything that was once
his is always his. So, he feels he owns you. And owning another human being is
wrong if it hurts them.”
“I don't want him to go to jail . . . but, I don't want him to keep hurting
Malakai or making Kevin sick,” TJ murmured, leaning into Steve's strong chest.
“I know, baby. You still care and want to help him. You’re a good person, TJ.
But sometimes, we can only do so much. You’ve tried to help Lucas. Now let the
professionals do it. In order for people, not just our family but others, too,
to be safe, Lucas needs to be incarcerated while he gets his counseling and
such.” Steve kissed TJ’s less injured temple very carefully, not wanting to jar
the boy as Riley worked.
“Is . . . is Kevin okay? It . . . he had such a long seizure. I just kept
waiting for it to stop and it never did,” TJ trembled in Steve's arms, seeking
love and affection after such a brutal event.
Steve continued to hold the teen, cooing softly between words of advice. He
reassured, “Kevin’s awake and resting. He responded to me by blinking, like we
long arranged. Bucky’s with him but will come visit you soon. Doesn’t want
Kevin to be alone right now, though Sharon’s in there, too.”
The door to the room opened and Bucky slipped in, looking worried. The brunet's
eyes widened when he saw Riley stitching a wound on TJ’s scalp as well as the
very large bruise on the teen’s shoulder. Bucky couldn't see the bruised eye
yet since TJ faced away from the door. Walking over, Bucky glanced at Steve,
frowning in intense worry before sinking to TJ’s eye level. Seeing the brunet's
battered face, the larger brunet shook his head. “Hey, Teej,” he cooed softly;
he didn't touch the teen, not wanting to impede on Riley's work. “Our poor
baby,” he offered TJ a wavery smile.
TJ met Bucky's eyes and a stray tear fell from his eyes, which Bucky carefully
wiped away with his thumb. “I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry I didn't take good care
of Kevin, Bucky . . .” TJ’s voice cracked and it sounded like he was on the
verge of a breakdown.
Bucky shook his head, “Kevin is fine, Teej. We all knew he was due for one
soon. There was nothing you could've done to stop it. I heard you took good
care of him while he was seizing.” Giving the boy another small smile, he said,
“you're a good boy, Teej. Our good boy, okay?”
The teen didn't nod, knowing better than to move his head while Riley was
stitching him up. “I . . . okay . . .” was all he said before his red-flaked
fingers began tapping against his thighs.
Bucky looked up at Steve, pale eyes extremely worried.
Steve carefully backed away from TJ a bit but didn’t let him go. He said,
“Buck, we should call Ava and let her know to get Emma from the store today. We
were supposed to drop her off on our way home.” Steve let his hands settled
over TJ’s where he gently stroked those clever, restless fingers. There was
only so much they could say. The rest they would have to show. “And once TJ’s
ready, we’ll get him in to see Kevin.”
Riley nodded, putting in the last stitch. He carefully washed and bandaged TJ’s
head then checked over his other injuries. “I think TJ’s almost ready to be
with his Kevin,” he said, not acting shocked or upset by the information he’d
overheard inadvertently - - that Kevin was TJ’s boyfriend now.
Bucky nodded and slowly rose; he looked at Riley as he pulled out his phone,
“Riley? The bruise on his shoulder . . . is it just a bad one . . . or
something more serious?”
Riley smiled at TJ as he shook his head. “Swelling and lots of pain I’m sure.
We’ll use ice and heat alternating on his shoulder. Missed the eyes, so he
won’t lose vision. All in all, a very lucky thing that anyone came along when
this happened, even if it ended in others getting hurt. TJ could have ended up
very badly injured in that hallway and no one knowing until classes changed
forty minutes later. I’d be interested to know why Kevin wasn’t even in class
but was down that hall, but I know it’s not my business.”
Bucky looked over TJ again and gave the boy another small, reassuring smile
before he excused himself from the room to give his niece a call.
TJ’s eyes flickered to look at Steve, “can . . . can I go see Kevin, now?
Please?”
“Yeah, let’s go see Kevin,” Steve smiled and stood, helping TJ to his feet and
supporting him in case he got dizzy. Slowly, he walked TJ into the next room
and said, “they had to use private rooms because of a train accident. There
weren’t any doubles open in the secure wing, okay?” He didn’t want TJ thinking
they were keeping him from Kevin on purpose with the separate rooms.
“Okay,” TJ said, leaning against Steve since he felt slightly dizzy. As all the
adrenaline and shock wore off, the teen could feel his injuries more and more.
“Will . . . will we hafta stay here tonight?”
“I’d say we should. If nothing else so Riley can keep an eye on your and
Malakai’s heads, as well as Bruce keep an eye on Kevin since the seizure was so
long.” Steve helped TJ to sit beside Kevin’s bed.
The other teen slowly opened his eyes and blinked just as slowly in
acknowledgement of his boyfriend and father. He offered a very slow, lopsided
smile.
TJ carefully reached out to take one of Kevin’s hands, “heya, Kev.” He didn’t
try to make conversation with the blond teen, knowing Kevin wouldn’t be able to
for a while.
Kevin blinked at TJ in response, sighing. He seemed a bit more responsive to
Steve which was good. Bruce cleared his throat from the doorway. “Guys, as soon
as Bucky gets in here, I’ll tell you the news.”
It took a few minutes before Bucky walked into the room, tucking his phone back
into his pocket and walking over to stand next to Steve.
Bruce nodded. “We’re keeping a strict eye on Kevin tonight, guys. Apparently,
according to the diary he had in his backpack that the EMT’s brought in with
him, Kevin’s been having seizures more frequently since starting school. In
fact, he’s had them daily.”
Bucky looked at Kevin with a frown and then back to Bruce, “we . . . we had no
idea? He hasn’t said anything about an increase in seizures . . .”
Steve shook his head, “Kevin?” He knew the other boy couldn’t answer yet but
still said, “you know you can tell us if things get worse. You didn’t have to
keep this from us.”
Slowly, Kevin mumbled something. Avenger yipped suddenly, high pitched, as he
leaped up from his reclining position. Kevin began seizing again. “Shit!” Bruce
leapt to the boy’s side, as did Sharon, and they began tending to Kevin’s
second seizure in a matter of an hour.
Steve backed out of the way, carefully pulling TJ with him, stopping beside
Bucky. “He’s never done that . . .”
TJ’s eyes were wide and, though he didn’t say anything, the guilt he felt was
very clear on his expressive face. It was his fault that Kevin got so stressed
. . . Kevin should have never had to jump in to save him from Lucas. He let out
a small whimper and stumbled back more, towards the door.
Steve grabbed him and forced him to stay in the room, holding him close though
turning him to look away from Kevin. Venturing to disturb the staff, Steve
asked, “what’s happening, Bruce?”
“It’s called a cluster, Steve. Sometimes this happens. He’ll be okay. Once we
get him situated we can talk more. Bucky, take your family back to TJ’s room?
RIley, go with them. Sharon and I have this.” Bruce was busy tending Kevin,
whom he’d turned to his side and pulled off the bed to the floor, since there
would be more space there.
Riley lead the three back to the room where Malakai slept. He also had
Avenger’s lead, so got the dog out of the way, just in case. “TJ, why don’t you
rest and we can talk,” he sounded less urgent than Bruce had, very calm.
TJ didn’t say anything, didn’t even nod to acknowledge that he’d heard Riley.
The brunet teen walked over to the bed and climbed on, pulling his legs close
to his chest with a wince. He didn’t look to anyone, just stared blankly ahead.
Riley walked over and sharply said, “TJ, get out of your head a moment se we
can discuss caring for Kevin.” He held the backpack and journal that Bruce had
mentioned.
The teen turned his head to the side, looking away, his fingers gripping
tightly at his legs.
Bucky looked at Steve, looking a mix between shocked and very worried.
Continuing, Riley said, “there’s only so much self-flagellation and guilt will
do, TJ. If you really want to help Kevin you’ll talk to us.”
“What’s talking gonna do?” TJ asked softly, a cold numbness to his tone that
none of them had ever heard from him before.
“Well, by talking you’ll find out why this is happening. Says in the journal
that sometime around July, Kevin decided to wean himself off his meds without
help. He’d read that it can be done and the seizures would stop. Don’t know
where he read that, but he was wrong.” Riley sank onto the rolling stool.
TJ shrugged one shoulder, the uninjured one, and rested his chin on his knees.
“Don’t know where he read that. Probably the internet or something.”
Nodding, Riley softened his tone at last, “yeah, I figured you wouldn’t have
let him try if he’d mentioned it to you. But, the seizure wasn’t a result of
the fight. It was because Kevin’s been off his meds. And,” Riley turned the
journal to Bucky, “since the day before school started he hasn’t taken any of
them at all, despite the increase in seizures he’s kept secret.”
Shaking his head, Bucky took the journal from Riley, “why in the world would he
do something like this?” He looked to Steve, “he has more sense than this.” The
last page of the journal explained that Kevin wanted to be normal and some
research said that the medicine could be causing the seizures after so long.
Steve took the book and looked at it, his tone miserable as he murmured, “oh,
Kevin . . . what have you done to yourself?” He shook his head. “RIley, we have
to get him back on the meds.”
Nodding, the nurse turned to TJ. “Teej, Kevin wrote in his book that he wanted
to be normal. Maybe you can help us convince Kevin he’s great the way he is?”
TJ shook his head, bringing his legs even closer to his chest despite the pain
of doing so. “I’m . . . I’m not good . . .”
“How are you not good?” Riley asked, tone reasonable, calm and gentle.
“I ruin everything. I can’t do anything right. I can’t protect my boyfriend.
Lucas was right. I . . . I’m stupid . . . and - -” TJ cut off his own self-
depreciative rant, burying his face in his knees.
Riley gently stroked TJ’s good shoulder. “TJ, has Kevin, your new boyfriend,
called you stupid or useless? Has he said you mess anything up for him?”
“I couldn’t even protect him!” TJ’s body began to shake again, though he didn’t
lift his head.
“TJ,” Riley said, more firmly yet still kindly, “you couldn’t even protect
yourself. And that’s what we’re going to train you to do: protect yourself. So
you will be able to help him in the future. Part of living life is finding your
weaknesses and improving on them.” He stroked again, encircling his arm
carefully around the teen in a hug. “Do you love Kevin, baby?” Riley used the
familiar nickname due to being a very longtime friend of the family.
“I . . . yes?” TJ whimpered.
Smiling, Riley cuddled again, shooting the worried parents a reassuring smile.
“And you want to learn to help Kevin and to protect him?”
“I don’t wanna hit anyone,” TJ murmured; the idea of actually hurting someone
made him shake even harder.
Nodding, Riley said, “okay, so we learn how to protect him without you having
to hurt someone. Have you considered using your voice? You can scream for help.
It’s the easiest way and it works pretty damn well, and most everyone forgets
to do it. In fact,” Riley gently turned TJ’s face to meet eyes, “it’s the first
thing we’re taught in basic first aid. Call for help, even if it means
screaming for it.”
“He . . . he didn’t like when I got too loud . . .” TJ murmured softly, making
Bucky wince in sympathy.
Nodding, Riley said, “well, he didn’t like you breaking off a toxic
relationship, either. So, for now, let’s consider Kevin and not Lucas, okay?
You are no longer Lucas’ boyfriend. You told him so. You are Kevin’s.” Still,
Riley didn’t seemed shocked or disgusted that the adopted brothers were a
couple.
“I’m . . . Kevin’s,” TJ nodded slowly, releasing a shaky breath.
Steve suddenly understood something Riley might not and smiled in relief, “of
course you are Kevin’s, TJ. You agreed to be Kevin’s, and he agreed to defend
and take care of you. Nowhere in the agreement did it say you were supposed to
fight for him. It was the other way around, remember?” Steve walked over and
stroked the less injured cheek, smiling. “It’s part of being submissive, TJ.
Your dominant takes care of you and protects you, which is what he did.”
“I - - I . . .” TJ met Steve’s eyes and a flicker of relief coursed through
them. “Yeah . . . okay. But,” the teen bit at his lip.
Steve kissed his temple carefully, “But what, baby? We’re listening. Your Bucky
and I want to help you both through this.”
“Maybe . . . maybe I should still be okay with yelling for help? Th - - that
way I don’t hit anyone?” TJ looked a little nervous, searching Steve’s face for
permission.
Nodding, Steve did one better than make that decision for the boys, he offered,
“we can ask Kevin what he wants you to do, okay? Would that be better?” He
stroked carefully at TJ’s cheek. “You know Kevin will tell you what you need to
do, right?” Steve was damned positive that Kevin wouldn’t make TJ hit anyone
unless someone’s life was at stake.
A slow, small smile graced TJ’s lips and he nodded, “I - - I like that. We . .
. we can ask Kevin when he feels better.”
“And until he’s doing better, I think we need to stay in the clinic for a bit.
Right, Buck?” Steve looked over at his husband, relieved by the breakthrough
he’d made with TJ. He realized he and Bucky, too, would need to learn how to
handle TJ’s special needs as a true submissive. Lucas’ power mainly seemed to
lie in that fact that he’d been willing to tell TJ what to do.
Bucky nodded and offered TJ a gentle smile, “and you’ll be staying home from
school for a couple days, okay? You and Kevin aren’t in trouble, but the
principal wants to figure out what happened.”
TJ looked between both adults and then a sudden realization came across his
features, “oh . . . I . . . I hit him with a book.”
Steve blinked. “Hit who, baby?” This was the first he’d heard of TJ hitting
anyone since he’d been twelve.
“Lucas . . . he - - he was going towards Kevin . . . I hit him with my Music
Theory book. On his arm, I think?” TJ frowned in worry.
“Ouch,” Steve snickered, “that’s not the lightest book. But, TJ, this means you
didn’t freeze. You did try to defend your boyfriend from your ex.” He smiled at
TJ proudly.
“But,” TJ looked at Steve and then Bucky and back to Steve, “did . . . did I
start it? Lucas . . . he might say I started it? That was before Kevin jumped
on his back . . .”
Riley piped up, “schools have security footage of the halls. Let the principal
get a chance to look it over and he can tell us who started it, okay?” The
therapist reached over and stroked Malakai’s fur as the dog began to rouse from
his surgery meds. “Looks like you have another friend needing some loving, TJ.
Wanna reassure Malakai? His stitches might be hurting but I can only give him
so much pain meds.”
Slowly, TJ unwound his body to reach his still dirtied fingers to stroke
Malakai’s fur. The dog huffed sleepily and leaned into TJ’s fingers.
“We’ll call the principal in the morning to find out what the footage shows and
tell him what you’ve said, TJ. Let’s see if Bruce says Kevin can be moved.”
Steve looked worriedly at the door. “Or if Kevin’s going to have more seizures
tonight. Why did he have to stop his meds? He could have talked to us about
it.” The worried father strode to the door to look into the hallway at the next
room over but couldn’t see past that closed door.
Bucky came up behind Steve and said, “I’m sure Bruce is going to come in here
when he’s ready to talk with us about Kevin. He knows we’re in here with TJ.”
He looked just as worried as Steve but knew better than to keep bugging the
doctor and nurse while they worked on their patient.
                                  **********
Kevin had two more seizures before they finally got things under control. Riley
settled the small family in a unit just before dinner, but it was well after
midnight before Kevin was able to join them. He seemed lethargic but was
walking on his own by then, just quiet and drained. Sharon knocked on the
apartment door to signal they were there.
Bucky opened the door, offering Sharon and Kevin a smile, “hey, Tiger.”
“Hey, Papa,” Kevin practically whispered, looking a bit sheepish. “How’s TJ? Is
he okay? And Malakai? Lucas kicked Malakai.”
Sharon guided the teen into the living room and helped him to sit on the couch.
She handed some papers to Bucky along with an array of new meds, most of which
Bucky and Steve were long familiar with. Steve had dozed off on a chair and
didn’t stir when the pair invaded, so tired from the day.
Bucky nodded, glancing over the papers and meds before setting them on the
table and looking at Kevin. “Both of them are fine. They are a little banged
up, but nothing too serious.”
The nurse smiled, patted Kevin’s shoulder and said, “Bucky, a moment before I
leave?”
Bucky gestured for the nurse to follow him into another room before he looked
at her expectantly once alone.
Sharon sighed. "Kevin's feeling pretty foolish right now, but I won't stop you
guys from addressing things your way. He's damn lucky the standing order was
ambulance for three minutes or more. Nowadays, the order would be for five
minutes, not three. Bruce says he's stable again and he should be okay tonight,
but you can turn on the built in monitoring system if you want." She offered
the codes for the apartment security monitoring system. “What we did get from
him was that he’d stopped his meds to be normal so . . . he could get the
attention of someone special. He thought by being sick, he was basically second
class. We didn’t press for details.”
Frowning, Bucky looked confused, “someone special? He couldn’t possibly have
meant TJ? TJ never cared that he was sick.”
“He didn’t say, Bucky, and we didn’t pry. But, I thought you should know.
Here,” she handed over Kevin’s school supplies, all still in the backpack, and
the journal. “His things.”
Shaking his head, Bucky took Kevin’s things and said, “thanks for letting us
know. We’re gonna let him rest tonight before we talk with him tomorrow. I
can’t believe he actually thought going off his medication was a good idea . .
. he’s normally such a level-headed kid.”
“Bucky, one thing I’ve learned in all my years of nursing is that even the most
responsible teenager does some wacky stuff.” Sharon offered Bucky a rueful
smile. “It was about time Kevin jumped on the teenaged hormonal bandwagon. He
was beginning to creep me out as too perfect.”
Laughing softly, Bucky nodded, “I just wish he woulda picked something less . .
. life threatening?”
“Most teens choose drinking, drugs, or unsafe sex.” Sharon sighed, “or crazy
adrenaline sports.” She shook her head, “all of which are life threatening. I
think it’s a staple of teens to test their own mortality.” She offered another
smile. “Get some rest, Bucky. I think tomorrow’s going to be busier than
today.”
“I think you’re right,” Bucky nodded, “thank you, Sharon.” He lead her back
towards the front door and opened the door for her, “good night.”
“Good night, Bucky. And . . . is Steve okay? His meds? His heart? Today was
pretty intense . . .” she had lowered her voice so it didn’t carry back to the
living room.
“He’s just exhausted. He didn’t tell me about any palpitations. I think he’s
just tired and worried,” Bucky explained, glancing over his shoulder to look at
his sleeping husband and then back to Sharon.
She nodded, “okay, it’s good he’s not some macho hormonal teen.” She winked and
waved. “See ya guys later.” Sharon headed down the hall.
Bucky shut the door and then turned back to the two family members in the
living room. First, he helped Kevin into the room he’d be sharing with TJ. The
brunet teen was already asleep, a TV had been brought into the room so he could
sleep, and it cast a soft blue glow in the small room.
Kevin sighed and hugged Bucky sluggishly. “It was so quiet in the hospital
room,” he softly complained. “I couldn’t get relaxed.” He looked at his
adoptive father. “I’m . . . I was being stupid? I’m . . . really sorry, Papa.”
Bucky hugged Kevin carefully and gave the boy a small smile, “you weren’t being
stupid. You made a mistake. It happens to everyone. I did the same thing back
when you were a little boy. But, now you know how important it is to stay on
your medication. It’s very dangerous to stop without consulting your doctor
first.”
Sighing, Kevin nodded and winced at the lingering headache from his clusters.
“Yeah, even trying slowly isn’t good. And it wasn’t even necessary because he
loves me anyway . . . or did.” Kevin looked worried over to the sleeping TJ,
drawing his bottom lip between his teeth in a habit picked up from Bucky. “But
TJloves me,” Kevin said firmly, reminding himself. “TJ’s not the unfaithful
kind or it’d be easier to get Lucas’ hook out of him.”
“He still loves you, Kevin,” Bucky confirmed, “go on, get some rest, Tiger. We
can talk about this more in the morning, okay?”
Kevin hugged his father and whispered, “I love you, Papa.”
“I love you, too,” Bucky replied, giving Kevin another hug and a kiss on the
head before he left the room to go help his husband get into their room.
***** Dealing and Learning to Live Again *****
Chapter Notes
     WARNINGS: Severe Post Traumatic, Referenced Severe Domestic Abuse,
     Flashbacks, Dissociation, Anxiety, Seizures, References Cancer in
     remission
There was a knock on Kevin and TJ’s door the next day, late in the afternoon
after school had been released. TJ had been taken in for some precautionary x-
rays for his shoulder, just to make sure that nothing had been badly damaged.
Kevin, dressed in the off-the-shoulder net shirt his friend Julian had given
him and a pair of dark grey skinny jeans, walked over and opened the door then
blinked in surprise, a smile spreading over his face. “Hey, Jules. Come on in,”
he said and held the door a bit wider. “I guess I’m the talk of the school,
huh, with that stupid seizure cluster.”
Julian’s eyes looked over Kevin, checking for any visible injuries. Looking
back at the blond’s face, Julian said, “heard you got in a fight with that
jackass?”
Nodding, Kevin confirmed, “yeah, Lucas was trying to bully TJ into taking him
back. He’d already hurt TJ last week then again . . . shoved him into a locker
and kicked Malakai, ripping his stitches.” Kevin shook his head. “I don’t know,
but when I saw that I guess I kinda lost it. I jumped Lucas and it kinda goes
hazy from there. I guess I started seizing within seconds of jumping him,
though.”
Julian's eyes widened and he walked over to Kevin, “you idiot,” he said with
fondness, “that guy coulda killed you.” Pulling back to look at the blond
again, Julian shook his head, “is TJ and Malakai okay?”
“Malakai’s right here, resting from being restitched. They figured TJ could go
to x-ray without him since he’s still in pain. TJ’s pretty emotionally battered
and confused and he looks like he hit that locker several more times than one.
He had to have stitches in his head, too, and right now they’re doing x-rays in
case it really was a fracture yesterday they missed.” Kevin looked worried,
pale grey eyes shooting over to Malakai to check him as he spoke. “We’ve been
put in protective holding from school while they sort the mess out.” Looking
back to Julian, Kevin asked softly, “what’s the word around school about this?”
He leaned on the open door, since neither had moved into the bedroom.
“Just that a fight broke out in the hall. That you were screaming loud and then
started seizing. They aren't sure who started it yet, or at least that's what
the staff is saying. Some kids are saying you started it, others are saying
Lucas.” Julian eased closer to Kevin, lips only a breath away from the blond's.
Blinking, Kevin asked softly, “nothing ‘bout Teej starting it? Good . . .” he
didn’t pull away; Julian often got into his personal space when they hung out
and Kevin had long gotten used to it.
“Nah, everyone knows TJ wouldn't start a fight. Why were you in that wing,
anyway? Your class was pretty far away and the bell had already rung?” Julian
licked his lips, eyes locked on Kevin's.
“I knew TJ had to go there by himself and got worried since Lucas had shop down
that way. When Teej didn’t answer my text, I figured I’d go check on him then
get back to class a bit later. It was only art history and I know more about
that from Dad than the teacher knows.”
“You coulda gotten really hurt, Kevin. You shoulda gotten a teacher,” Julian
sounded genuinely worried for his friend.
Sighing, Kevin nodded. The tip of his tongue darted out to wet his lips in
unconscious imitation of Julian. “Yeah, I know. I was stupid. But I wasn’t
really thinking clear, especially when I saw that guy hurting TJ and Malakai.
You’d have done the . . .”
Julian crashed his lips against Kevin's, cupping the blond's cheek while his
other hand moved to the other boy’s waist. The kiss was very intimate, filled
with passion that had been burning in Julian for years.
Shocked, Kevin didn’t respond, either to return the kiss or stop it. He let out
a shocked whimper, eyes widening. After a moment, Kevin put both hands on
Julian’s chest and curled his fingers in the cloth then pushed, firmly though
not roughly. “No, Jules . . . no.” He never noticed Malakai rushing out the
door past him, too surprised by his friend’s kiss.
Julian staggered back a few steps and a look of surprise and hurt crossed his
features.
Eyes soft and worried, Kevin said, “Julian, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to lead
you on or anything. I . . . don’t think of you as a lover . . . you’ve always
been a brother to me.” He now saw what TJ had warned him about the week before.
Julian really was interested in him. Kevin felt torn but pushed away the worry
and doubt; he was TJ’s boyfriend, and that was final.
“A . . . brother? What?” Julian stammered, a bright flush creeping onto his
cheeks.
Deciding to tell the whole truth and let Julian deal with it immediately, Kevin
added, “I’ve got a boyfriend already and I’m very serious about him, Jules.”
“When did you get a boyfriend?” Julian asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
“First day of school,” Kevin couldn’t help his sweet smile at the memory. “We
finally got together last Monday, Jules. He’s . . . so beautiful and delicate
and he loves me . . . as much as I’ve always loved him. He needs me.”
“Does he not go to our school? I haven't seen you hanging out with anyone new?”
Julian shook his head, still looking very lost.
Shaking his head, leaning his back on the open door, Kevin said, “we’re
together as much as we always were, Julian. Just now, we’re boyfriends.” His
look was one of wonder and love.
“Wait . . .” Julian's eyes widened in shock, “TJ? You can't be talking about
TJ.”
Nodding, Kevin’s eyes seemed to light up at the name. “But I am. Me and TJ are
together now.”
“But,” Julian shook his head, meeting Kevin’s eyes, “you two are brothers.”
Kevin put his hand on Julian’s chest and said, “I was adopted by Papa, but I’m
Dad's biological son. We’ve got the DNA to prove it. TJ is Papa’s biological
cousin. Dad and Papa adopted him when his family was killed. We’re not blood
related, Julian. Dad and Papa looked it up and the law in New York says it’s
fine if we don’t share blood.”
“But . . . you two were living together . . . as brothers. I don’t . . .”
Julian frowned; he didn’t look disgusted but he did appear very confused.
“I know. And we know a lot of people won’t understand and will abuse us for
it,” Kevin shook his head and met Julian’s eyes, a determined look in his own.
“But TJ is worth it to me, Julian. I’ve loved him since I was fourteen.”
“I don’t . . . I’m sorry,” Julian shook his head again, “I’m sorry but I need
to . . . think . . .” and with that the raven-haired teen turned and hurried
from the apartment.
Kevin’s hand, the one that had been on Julian’s chest, slowly lowered and the
blond drew his bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling slightly, watching with a
longing he tried to suppress. He walked out to the living room, softly asking,
“when’s TJ supposed to get back?” Kevin sounded worried and upset.
Looking over from where he sat on the couch, Bucky answered, “you didn’t see
him? He already came in. Left in a hurry though . . . he said he was going out
to the courtyard for some air?”
Nodding, Kevin turned without a word and headed for the inner courtyard shared
by four apartments. He walked out, running his hand over the back of his neck,
calling, “Teej? The craziest thing just happened!”
“Yeah?” TJ’s choked out from where he sat under one of the trees in the small
courtyard.
Frowning, Kevin suspected that TJ saw him and Julian together. Deciding the
best approach with TJ was the honest one, always, Kevin walked over and sank
down next to his lover. “Yeah, Julian and I were talking about you and me and
the school fight. Then, without warning, Julian kissed me. I was shocked. I
guess you were right and he does like me. I stopped him and told him it wasn’t
going to happen. I told him I’m in love with you and we’re boyfriends.”
“You don’t hafta come up with excuses,” TJ murmured, looking down at his hands
that were in his lap. “I . . . I understand, Kevin. I do. Lucas said I was a
lot to handle and he needed fun time with others, too. I can still make you
happy though . . . and . . .” TJ chewed his bottom lip and let out a breath
before saying, “if you want . . . I can entertain Julian, too?”
Stunned by what TJ had just offered, and all it implied, Kevin shook his head.
He pulled out his phone and dialed Julian’s number, hoping to God his friend
would answer. Julian didn’t, it switched over to voicemail after only two
rings. Putting the phone down, Kevin looked at TJ. “I love you, baby. Do you
doubt that?”
“Lucas . . . he loved me, too. But, I know I can be hard to deal with. It’s the
least I can do to let you have fun and let your friends have fun. I promise I’m
good. Won’t disappoint you,” TJ finally lifted his face, turning it so he could
look at Kevin. “I’m . . . I’m good at parties, Kev.”
Repeating himself, firmly, Kevin said, “I love you, Teej. Do you doubt that?”
“I . . .” TJ swallowed thickly and chewed at his bottom lip, “no?”
“I told Julian that me and him can’t be together because I don’t feel that way
about him. Is that clear?” Kevin’s tone had gentled, but he remained firm.
TJ watched Kevin for a few moments, pale eyes miserable, “it . . . yeah, that’s
clear.”
Nodding, Kevin said, “and I told Julian that I love you and you and me are
boyfriends now. He left, won’t answer his phone. But I won’t go after him,
because I choose you. I’m with you. Do you understand, baby?”
Eyes welling with tears, TJ ducked his head and nodded, “you’re with me . . .”
“Teej, baby, can you look at me>?” Kevin’s voice turned very soft and gentle, a
caress almost. “I love you and I don’t want to share you unless you come to me
and ask me to share you. And if that happens, I’d have to think hard about it
because my heart and body will be screaming not to share you even if you want
it. You’re mine . . . right?”
“I . . . “ TJ looked at Kevin, a few tears falling down his cheeks, “I’m yours
. . . I - - I don’t want to be shared, Kev. Please?”
“Good,” Kevin said, fiercely, and pulled TJ carefully onto his lap, kissing his
bruised lips gently. “I love you, Thomas James Hammond, and I always will.”
Letting out a soft keen, TJ burrowed himself against Kevin’s frame, nuzzling in
an almost possessive way. “I - - I love you, too,” he breathed.
Kevin certainly allowed it, murmuring his love and praising TJ. His words only
half made sense as he cuddled the other teen close, secure in his arms. “My TJ.
My sweet love.”
“I - - I didn’t like it when he shared me,” TJ admitted softly, not lifting his
face from Kevin’s neck.
“Yeah,” Kevin agreed. “I think I would hate being passed around like some party
game, baby. It’s one more thing that to me says he wanted to own you but didn’t
really love you.” Kevin kissed TJ’s less bruised temple.
“Steve says he’s gonna press charges,” TJ informed his boyfriend, “that Lucas
is gonna go to jail . . .”
Sighing softly, Kevin said, “we did give him a chance last week after he tried
to rape you on a public street. Even after that, you tried to be good and kind
and get him counseling instead of incarceration. But, Teej, look how he repaid
that kindness? He spat on it, basically, disrespecting you in the school. Not
listening to your needs and worries, your words. He ignored what you needed or
wanted and attacked you again. He attacked Malakai again. If nothing else, the
way a man treats a dog should be an indicator that he’s good or bad.” Stroking
TJ’s curls carefully, Kevin said, “I think he needs to be punished this time.
Niceness he doesn’t understand and won’t learn from. He needs discipline.”
“Lucas said . . . that his dad told him that he needed to be rougher with me,”
TJ finally lifted his face so he could look up at Kevin.
“Well,” Kevin sighed, “I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt all these
years, TJ, and hoped he wasn’t like his father. But, Lucas Rumlow is an almost
exact copy of Brock Rumlow. And Brock’s idea of love was chaining Dad or Papa
in a house and making him clean and humiliating him and raping him. He smashed
Dad’s hands, his wonderful artist’s hands, in a window.” Kevin lifted TJ’s chin
with a gentle finger. “That’s not something I want Lucas to be able to do to
anyone, TJ, especially you. I have nightmares that he’ll smash your hands in a
window like his father did to Dad. All because Dad called the cops when he
found out Brock had sold me.”
Sighing softly, TJ nodded, “Lucas . . . needs to be locked up. H - - he needs
help . . .”
Nodding, Kevin kissed lightly again. “TJ, inmates have access to counseling and
stuff in jail. If they want it and take it seriously, they can be redeemed and
helped. He’ll have a chance to change for the better but be where he can’t hurt
someone while he learns.”
“Can . . . can I go take a nap, Kevin?” TJ asked softly, “I - - I had that
nightmare last night . . .”
“That sounds like a great idea, TJ.” Kevin smiled and kissed one last time. He
stood, helping TJ off his lap, and offered a hand. “Want me to tuck you in or
need some alone time?” He worried about the recurring nightmares, but there was
only so much Kevin knew how to do to help his distressed lover. “Maybe you can
try putting on the Animal Planet or some Disney cartoons to sleep by today?” he
suggested.
Giving Kevin a small, crooked smile, TJ nodded and he snapped his fingers once
to get Malakai’s attention. “I’ll try that. The cartoons won’t affect the
dreams in a negative way.”
“Might I suggest not Rapunzel? That witch would terrorize anyone’s dreams!”
Kevin suggested on a small laugh. He scooped up his phone then led his
boyfriend into the apartment and to their room. Once inside, Kevin helped TJ
settle, offering extra pillows for his arm if he wanted them. “How about Lady
and the Tramp? You’ve never had a problem with the cats in that one.”
“Yeah, that one sounds good,” TJ nodded, settling under the blankets. One thing
with TJ, the teen always ran cold, and seemed to love cuddling under blankets
or wearing his comfy sweaters.
Kevin nodded and put the DVD in the set it on repeat so the movie would restart
over and over, background noise without any surprising changes. “All set,
love,” Kevin turned, grinning at being able to add that pet name to the bunch.
“You’ll call me if you need something, right?”
“Yes, Kevin,” TJ smiled, nuzzling his pillow as he finished getting
comfortable.
Kevin brushed his lips over TJ’s. “Nap well, baby.” He headed to the door and
turned off the light but flicked on the nightlight . . . Kevin had always
needed a nightlight to remind him he wasn’t locked in a closet anymore.
Once Kevin made it out into the living room, Bucky looked over, eyes worried.
Steve sat with him. “Hey, Tiger. Everything okay?”
Sinking onto the stool in front of his fathers, Kevin shook his head. “I’m evil
and want to torture Lucas until he cries and wets himself then throw him in a
closet for five days.” Kevin buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking.
Blinking in shock, Bucky looked at Steve and then sat up straighter. Turning
his attention back to Kevin, the brunet reached out to carefully lay his flesh
hand on the teen’s shoulder. “Kevin? What happened?”
Lifting tear washed eyes and flushed face, Kevin said, “Julian kissed me and I
stopped him and explained about TJ and me. But TJ saw the kiss. I went out to
explain what happened and he told me . . .” Kevin shuddered, “told me that he
would be good and let me have fun where I wanted because Lucas told him he was
a lot to handle and Lucas needed to get fun elsewhere. He said he’d be good to
my friends and that he was good at parties. Papa . . . Lucas let his friends
rape and gang up on TJ!”
Paling, Bucky’s mouth dropped open in unheeded shock and he looked at Steve.
Paling with each word, Steve felt his stomach churn, memories of long ago
dredge up: the foul language, the rough, dry sex, the orders to tend Rollins or
one of Brock’s other friends, including women. Steve looked like he wanted to
throw up. His hands started rubbing down his jeans, over and over, like he was
trying to scrub them. “Riley needs to know . . . the cops working the case . .
. they should be told, right? Or wouldn’t that count?”
“How many kids are we talking here?” Bucky looked back at Kevin, “how many of
these friends were adults while TJ was still a minor?”
“I didn’t ask, Papa. He said parties and I saw red. I assured him that I never
wanted him to tend others and even if he wanted and asked to, I’d have trouble
with the idea because I don’t want to share him. That calmed him a bit and he’s
in taking a nap to Lady and the Tramp. His nightmares came back last night.”
Kevin hugged himself as Steve got up and headed into the kitchen, the sound of
the fridge opening coming to them.
Bucky looked at Kevin and gave the teen’s shoulder another gentle squeeze
before he stood up to follow his husband into the kitchen. “Steve . . .” Bucky
called softly.
The large blond stood by the sink, drinking some orange juice from a tall
glass, back to the doorway. He stiffened then relaxed as if it took a moment to
recognize Bucky’s voice. Lowering the half-filled glass, Steve rasped, “yeah,
Buck? Whatcha need?”
“Just . . . are you okay?” Bucky took a few steps closer, wanting to give his
husband space if he needed it. He knew how much Steve still struggled with
memories of his years of abuse at the hands of Brock Rumlow.
“Yeah, just going through my mental reminders that I’m safe with my loving
family. Getting some sugar to keep my blood sugar up.” Steve turned, tears
washing his eyes but not falling, hand trembling slightly. “We caught this
creep after just over a year of abuse to our TJ. He’s going to need some heavy
therapy to get through this, Bucky . . . our gentle TJ . . . at the hands of a
mini-Brock.”
Sighing softly, Bucky nodded and ran his fingers through his hair, cursing
himself when he realized that he’d used his metal limb . . . the joints of the
fingers got stuck.
Steve instantly put down his glass and pulled out the shears marked for hair
trimming. He walked over and began gently cutting Bucky’s hand free, used to
having this emergency once in awhile over the years. “I love you, Bucky,” he
said very softly.
Looking at Steve, Bucky gave the blond a small smile, “I love you, too, Steve.
We’ll get TJ better. At least we caught it before Lucas managed to convince TJ
to move in with him?”
“Yeah, that’s a big plus. And Kevin’ll be supportive of TJ through this. Bucky?
Sometimes relationships formed after abuse don’t last. Do you think TJ and
Kevin will grow apart as they both learn to cope?” Steve sounded and looked
worried as he worked the scissors carefully around the metal fingers.
“It’s hard to say,” Bucky sighed, not moving his hand from his hair to make it
as easy as possible on Steve. “The relationship is still pretty new . . . at
least the romantic part of it is. I hope they don’t . . . they seem so good for
each other. And . . .” Bucky let out another breath, “sadly, both of them can
relate to the abuse the other has suffered.”
Nodding, Steve finished and started cleaning up the hair, brushing off Bucky’s
head and shoulders and the scissors. He then grabbed the small broom and
dustpan and swept up the clippings. As he worked with calm, quiet diligence, he
said, “Think we should have him tested to make sure the cancer’s still in
remission, Buck?”
A scream broke from the bedroom, a sound filled with true horror and pain. It
was so much like the original nightmares from when TJ had been twelve, after
just losing his family to a car accident. Very rarely now did TJ scream in his
sleep, most of time either Malakai or Kevin woke him up before they could get
that bad.
Kevin burst into the room first, Avenger at his heels, and the two adults
following soon after. Sliding into the bed, Kevin called out, “TJ, love, come
back to me. It’s Kevin, baby. I’m here. Come back to Kevin.” Kevin carefully
petted TJ’s good shoulder, cooing and repeating his calls, “I love you, Teej.
Come back to Kevin.”
TJ’s eyes snapped open and he drew in a large, sobbing breath. His skin was
flushed, sweat making some of his curls stick to his temple and forehead. His
pale eyes were unfocused and seemed to be scanning the room as if checking for
danger. Malakai whimpered and butted his head against TJ’s hip.
Kevin restrained the dog so he wouldn’t injure his stitched head. “Good boy,
Malakai,” he soothed as Steve slipped onto the bed beside the dog, reaching
over to stroke a hand down TJ’s back, careful of the bruising. “TJ, baby, it’s
Steve. I’m here. You're safe. You're home.”
“Don’t wanna . . . please . . . don’t wanna . . .” TJ murmured, voice slurring
slightly. It seemed that the brunet had fully dissociated.
“Don’t wanna what, TJ?” Steve asked calmly, firmly. “Tell me and you won’t have
to. I promise.”
“Can’t take two . . . can’t . . . it hurts . . . please . . .” TJ eyes squeezed
shut, his body trembling violently.
“Oh God,” he muttered under his breath, and Steve cuddled the boy close. “TJ,
open your eyes,” he ordered.
The brunet teen did as order and those same, unfocused, pale eyes looked up at
Steve. “Sir . . . I’ll be good . . . please don’t make me . . . can’t take two
. . . please . . .”
“TJ, I want you to say my name. Who am I?” Steve asked carefully, still an
order, trying to figure out if this memory was from Lucas, Collier, or someone
else’s abuse.
“Lucas, Sir . . . I’d never forget . . . please . . . I’m sorry . . .” TJ
whimpered.
Nodding, Steve felt relief that it hadn’t been when the boy was eight that he’d
been made to take two men at once, though it still sickened him that Lucas had
forced TJ to do that. “TJ. I want you to close your eyes and count to ten. One
with each breath, out loud. When you’re done, the others will be gone. Okay? Do
it.” He tried a bit of hypnosis techniques on the teen.
Bucky hung near the door, wondering if he should go get Riley or if they could
get TJ to come back on their own.
Kevin stood and ran from the room, Avenger following, and from the apartment.
He got the first nurse he could find and told her to get Riley. There was no
way the group could handle bringing TJ back on their own because they didn’t
know how. He turned and headed back to the room, softly whispering in Avenger’s
ear. The dog barked, loud and distinctly Avenger.
TJ whimpered and cried in Steve’s arms, trying to count down from ten out loud
but the sobs made it difficult.
“Dad, let him go,” Kevin instructed. Steve obeyed, worried but listening,
hoping Kevin recalled something of how Bruce had tended Bucky way back when
Kevin was five and Bucky had gone through this.
Scrambling away, pushing himself into the furthest corner of the bed, TJ curled
into a fetal position, crying and whimpering.
Bucky turned to go meet Riley at the apartment door.
Kevin said, “TJ, it’s Kevin. Lucas isn’t ere. The guys aren’t here. You’re safe
at home with me now. Reach out and touch Avenger and Malakai, one hand each,
Teej. You’ll see. Avenger’s never anywhere without Kevin.” The dog leapt onto
the bed.
TJ shook his head and his fingers curled in his hair, “don’t like it . . .
don’t like . . . girls . . . stop . . .”
Kevin walked over and took one of TJ’s hands and eased it from his head to lay
it on Malakai. “Name the animal, TJ,” he instructed.
Whimpering, allowing Kevin to move his hand but not uncurling, TJ took a few
moments, his fingers playing with Malakai’s soft fur. “Dog . . .” he rasped,
his voice cracking and raw.
Nodding, Kevin did the same with TJ’s other hand, laying it on Avenger’s
slightly rougher German Shepherd coat. “And this animal?”
“Dog?” TJ croaked softly, his eyes still shut and body trembling.
“Good boy,” Kevin cooed. “And why would there be two dogs here, TJ?”
The brunet teen didn’t answer for several long moments, mumbling under his
breath incoherently before he spoke up slightly, “our’s? Our’s . . .”
“That’s right, TJ, they’re our dogs. Open your eyes for me,” Kevin sank onto
the bed near TJ.
Slowly, as if terrified of what he’d see, TJ opened his eyes and looked at
Kevin. He let out another broken whimper, tears beginning to run freely down
his flushed cheeks.
Opening his arms in welcome but not moving, Kevin said softly, lovingly, “who
am I TJ?”
Sobbing, TJ launched himself into Kevin’s arms and began nuzzling, some blood
could be seen running from his hair down the nape of his neck.
“Hey, baby, I’m here. You’re safe,” Kevin cooed. “Did you accidentally rip your
stitches, baby? We can get those fixed,” his tone remained loving and
reassuring, no anger or disappointment.
“I - - I . . .” TJ gasped through his sobs, breathing shallow, “I didn’t . . .
like it!”
“I know, baby, you said it hurt, I heard you,” Kevin reassured. “You won’t have
to do that again. I’ll never make you do something that hurts you, ever. I
promise, TJ.”
Bucky came back into the room, Riley in tow. He looked at Steve, pale eyes
extremely worried, but he appeared slightly relieved at the sight of TJ
desperately clinging onto Kevin.
Riley softly said, “feeling safer, TJ?”
“Hurts . . .” TJ murmured, voice muffled by Kevin’s neck.
“What hurts, TJ?” Riley walked over to carefully look at the head wound.
“Head . . . and shoulder . . .” TJ answered honestly.
“Yes, it looks like in your nightmare and dissociative state you may have
reinjured yourself.” Riley glanced over at the other adults. “You two need to
be trained how to deal with this disorder so you can help him. TJ may have
flashbacks repeatedly while going through the counseling. It’s normal and
expected since he’ll be reliving his trauma in therapy while he talks about
it.” Turning back to TJ, Riley soothed, “but not today, TJ. You don’t have to
talk unless you want to.”
“Made me . . .” TJ’s sobs were starting to die down, fading into hiccups and
stuttering breaths, “with girls . . . didn’t want . . .”
“How did that make you feel, TJ?” Riley asked, since TJ seemed to need to
discuss it right then anyway.
“Used . . .” was TJ’s only reply before he started nuzzling at Kevin again, the
blood from his opened head wound beginning to soak into the fabric of his soft
t-shirt.
Nodding, Riley leaned over and softly said, “I can’t keep it up for a girl.” He
waited for that to sink in, that TJ might not be the only one who had this kind
of impotence.
“Th - - they laugh at me,” TJ whimpered, finally pulling his head slightly away
from Kevin’s neck.
Riley offered a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, me, too.” He gestured to TJ’s head.
“Want me to fix those stitches?” He treated TJ’s lack of sexual prowess with
females as a normal problem rather than something to laugh about or disgrace
the boy about. “But put me in a room with a beautiful boy, say . . . my Sam?
Oh, baby, they wouldn’t have laughed then!”
Sniffling, TJ slowly sat back up, his flushed, tear-streaked face evident to
those in the room. He wiped at his cheeks and shifted, wincing as he did so,
until Riley had easy access to the slowly oozing head wound.
“Ah, only a couple ripped. Good. When you dissociate, it can be very hard to
remember you have injuries, huh?” Riley signaled Steve to go get the medical
supplies kept on hand in every apartment. Once the big blond had left the room,
Riley said, “Hey, Buck, ever have trouble with the ladies before you realized
you were gay?”
Offering both Riley and TJ a small smile, Bucky snorted softly, “oh, yeah.
There was this big . . . get-together,” the brunet avoided the word party for
the moment, not wanting to inadvertently trigger another flashback, “end of my
Junior year in high school. I start kissing this girl . . . Kelsey, I think her
name was, and there was nothing. I didn’t feel anything . . . even after we
tried getting a bit more . . . physical. Luckily, she was pretty cool about the
whole thing.”
Steve handed over the supplies and softly said, “Brock used to drug me so I
could . . . do that with girls.” He flushed and sank to the foot of the bed.
TJ looked at Steve, bloodshot pale blue eyes miserable. “Lucas threatened me a
few times with drugs but . . . he just made me . . .” the brunet flushed bright
red.
“Use what you had available, right?” Steve nodded. “And it feels degrading,
like you couldn’t do something right or expected, but you feel soul crushed,
too, because you know it’s because you don’t like girls as lovers.” He ran a
hand over the back of his neck. “I wish you’d never gone through that, TJ. I
wish I could have stopped that for you.”
Sniffling again, TJ said, “I . . . I didn’t let you or Bucky know I even had a
boyfriend. L - - Lucas said you’d just try to pull us apart. I - - I guess I
shoulda let you guys tear us apart . . .”
“Well, the boy didn't lie about one thing,” Steve sighed. “But we wouldn’t have
pulled you apart if we met Lucas and thought he'd be good for you. We would
have if we realized what kind of guy he really is, though.” Steve reached out
to pat TJ’s knee. “TJ, it’s going to be rough for some time trying to sort out
your feelings about Lucas. You loved him and gave him everything, you did
whatever you could to please him. I get that. I’ve been there, baby, I know.
But . . .give yourself time and love. You’re a good person who deserves love
and respect. Let yourself have the time to sort this out and understand what’s
what, okay? Respect and love yourself.”
“I . . . I don’t know if I can,” TJ admitted softly.
Kevin stroked TJ’s hand, “I can help you, TJ. Will you let me?”
Looking over at Kevin, TJ was silent for a few moments before he said, “yes,
Kevin.”
Kevin leaned over to gently brush his lips over TJ’s. “Good boy. You can trust
me, even if you don’t yet trust yourself, to make these decisions for you. I
think right now, after Riley's done fixing you up again, I want to dress you in
that fluffy light blue pajama set Dad got you last Christmas. And then we can
snuggle until you fall asleep, safe in my arms.”
Giving Kevin a soft smile, TJ agreed readily, “I . . . I’d like that a lot.”
Riley nodded. “All done. You are one of my best patients, TJ, but I’m afraid if
you keep injuring your head I’ll have to shave all your hair off just to see
the stitches. Think you can relax for a bit?”
“I think so?” TJ nodded.
“Good man,” Riley said and stood up. “Steve, Bucky, let’s let these guys have
their cuddle time.”
Bucky nodded, moving to the bed to give both boys a kiss on the head, being
careful of TJ’s injuries, before heading out of the room after Riley. Steve
also kissed his sons and left, closing the door but leaving the nightlight and
room light on.
                                  **********
Steve turned to Bucky, rubbing at the back of his neck yet again. He sighed and
headed for the kitchen and the forgotten orange juice glass. “Two at once,” he
shuddered.
Bucky let out a sigh to match Steve, leaning against the counter with a shake
of his head. “The abuse was a lot worse than we thought, Steve,” Bucky looked
at his husband, who was washing the glass after having dumped it, and said,
“I’m thinking about homeschooling TJ for the rest of the year.”
“If we pull TJ, we pull Kevin, too. But who’d we get to tutor TJ in music?
Neither of us know much about that subject.” Steve put the glass in the
drainboard then started scrubbing the sink.
“I can ask around? I’m sure there are plenty of piano instructors in New York.
Or . . .” Bucky chewed his lip in thought and said, “maybe we can talk with
TJ’s current Music Theory and piano teacher at the high school? He seems to
really like her and we can ask if she’d be willing to privately tutor him?
Worse she can do is say no?”
Nodding, Steve said, “I can tutor Kevin in art, but what about dance? He’s
captain of the team.” He scrubbed at what seemed to be an especially stubborn
spot.
Sighing softly, Bucky ran his flesh hand down his face, “maybe we shouldn’t
pull them? I just . . . God, I wanna protect them from the world. They’ve both
suffered so much already. And I think we’re barely scratching at the surface of
what Lucas made TJ do.”
Scrubbing harder, Steve nodded mutely. His back had tensed more and more as
they spoke until it looked like he was more of a soldier than an artist.
Stepping forward, Bucky placed his right hand on Steve’s back and then reached
around with his metal limb to gently pull away Steve’s hand from the sink. “You
wanna talk about it?” Bucky asked softly, knowing the signs of when Steve was
getting lost in his memories.
Nodding, Steve sobbed then shook his head then nodded again. He turned to Bucky
and wrapped his soapy wet hands in his husband's shirt and leaned his forehead
against Bucky's. "It's like watching a rerun of Brock, Buck. It's Brock all
over but on hyper speed."
Wrapping his arms around Steve, Bucky nodded in agreement.
“I keep seeing you chained in that kitchen . . . and the way you looked when
the cops got you outta that house . . . and . . . and . . .” Steve sobbed hard,
his entire body shuddering, before he choked into full tears. “And I see that
window coming down again and again and again . . . and I just stood there and
let him do it!”
Taking Steve’s hand, Bucky lead the blond into their bedroom, shutting the door
behind them and then easing Steve onto the bed. Sitting down next to his
husband, Bucky wrapped his right arm around Steve’s broad shoulders. “Brock
controlled you like Lucas controlled TJ. You had no choice, Steve. You didn’t
let Brock do anything . . .” He had to force down his own self-disgust that
welled up when Brock was mentioned. He’d long accepted that he’d done what he
needed to survive but that didn’t stop the ugly feelings from rearing their
heads every now and again.
“I know that, Buck, I really do,” Steve sobbed, “But I keep seeing it as if
it’s TJ now. And TJ is still so vulnerable and still blames himself like I did,
like you did. He’s going to need years of therapy to get past what this asshole
kid did to him!”
“A kid,” Bucky shook his head with a sigh, “Lucas is nineteen and he’s as
brutal as his father. Forcing TJ to . . .” the brunet cut himself off with a
forceful shake of his head.
“I know,” Steve said, “I’ve been there.” He shook his head. “If Brock’s been in
contact with Lucas, how come he insists Kevin’s his still? What kind of fucked
up game is he playing?”
“Steve,” Bucky’s eyes widened and he looked at his husband, “what if Brock . .
. lead Lucas to TJ? TJ . . . was mouthy at that house six years ago.”
The blond man froze and his vivid blue eyes widened, red and swollen from
crying. “That sick, twisted bastard! If we can get his letters from jail, we
could prove it . . . we’d never be that lucky.”
“Brock is smart,” Bucky sighed and said, “but, what if Lucas isn’t? Maybe we
could get Matt and Foggy to come up with some sort of . . . deal,” the word
left a sour taste on his tongue.
“Or we can tell the cops that we suspect Lucas has abused TJ for a long time
and they should raid his house to find the evidence?” Steve ground out,
refusing to entertain any sort of deal with Brock or Lucas if they could avoid
it.
Nodding, Bucky said, “that’s a good idea. I want every one of those assholes
who touched TJ to pay.”
“TJ was sixteen when he started dating Lucas, so he was certainly a minor,”
Steve said, looking at his husband.
“So, any one of those fuckers who joined in on those parties will be punished
for what they did,” Bucky growled low. “All TJ wanted was someone to love him .
. . cherish the power he handed over. And Lucas just abused him. Let his
friends use him like some party favor.”
Steve nodded and picked up his phone from the counter, checking to see when he
should get dinner ready, instinctively falling into his domestic routine since
he was feeling vulnerable. “I’ll call the lawyers and get them on this. And
Sam, I’ll call Sam to push the charges. I want him and his asshole friends to
get the full benefit of the penal system.” Dialing, Steve put the phone to his
ear and said, “yeah, Matt?”
                                  **********
Emma walked over to TJ with a very childish crayon drawing in her hand. It
looked like a black messy blob on four sticks with a black blob sticking out
one side and another stick coming out the opposite side. It had a white center
to each scribbled blob. “For you, Teej,” she beamed happily.
Giving the child one of his crooked smiles, TJ took the picture, “thanks, Emma.
It’s very pretty.” The bruising from the initial fight had completely faded and
his wounds from the incident in the hall were healing. All of TJ’s hair had
been shaved off by Steve for ease of caring for the stitches. TJ had actually
cried when he first saw his reflection in the mirror but with reassurances from
Kevin, he was slowly accepting it.
“You like it?” the little girl asked excitedly. “It was hard. I had to count
his legs over and over so I got him right!”
Looking at the picture in his hands, TJ nodded, “I like it a lot. I’m gonna
hang it on my wall.”
Nodding, Emma said, “Daddy asked if it was a sheep. A sheep!” she sounded
disgusted.
“Well, what do you say it is?” TJ asked the little girl.
Emma beamed again, “Malakai. See? His tail and legs and everything!” The five
year old seemed excited.
Eyebrows raising in surprise, TJ said, “well, I don’t know how you’re daddy
didn’t see that. It’s obviously Malakai. Huh, boy?” TJ showed the picture to
the pure white husky. Malakai sniffed the page before letting out an excited
sounding bark. The dog’s stitches were healing very nicely, hopefully being
able to be taken out in a few days. “See?” TJ grinned at Emma, “even Malakai
knows.”
She giggled and carefully pet the dog’s neck, remembering to not touch the
dog’s injured head. “When I get big, I want a dog like Malakai and Avenger.
They’re pretty!”
From the top of the steps a strangled sounding high pitched yip sounded. A soft
thud followed and Avenger continued his whining yip.
TJ’s head snapped towards the sound and he rushed up the stairs, pushing aside
his own dizziness from his healing head wound.
Kevin sat at the head of the stairs, Avenger between him and the drop, leaning
against the wall with his eyes closed. He wasn’t spasming, just looked droopy
and limp.
Bucky came running up the steps right after TJ, helping TJ to lean against the
wall before kneeling down to check on the blond teen. “Hey, Tiger. You with
me?” He asked, brushing Kevin’s blond hair from his eyes.
Kevin forced his eyes opened, but this time he looked more like he’d had a
stroke, everything drooped and seemed to lack muscle tone. Avenger whined and
yipped, still keeping between Kevin and the steps.
Carefully, Bucky shifted Kevin to a safer portion of the wall while he let the
boy recover. Luckily, this wasn’t a clonic-tonic seizure.
Less than thirty seconds after the initial yip, Kevin blinked in a less
sluggish way, his body stirring into a semblance of tired movement. He pushed,
shakily, up to a sitting rather than leaning position. "Papa?" his voice was
soft, uncertain . . . "what . . ." Avenger began licking Keivn’s face and
hands.
“Had a seizure, Tiger,” Bucky informed, checking to make sure TJ was alright
before focusing back on Kevin.
“Don’t feel the same,” Kevin muttered.
“This wasn’t like your normal ones,” Bucky confirmed, “but, you’re gonna be
okay. Do you want to rest in your room, or do you think you wanna go into the
living room with help?”
“Living room?” Kevin said after a moment. “My whole body just went . . . like
spaghetti. I couldn’t move.”
“I think it’s called an Atonic Generalized Seizure,” Bucky explained, helping
Kevin to his feet and then glancing over at TJ, “think you can make it down the
stairs? If not, wait here and I’ll come back for you, okay, Teej?
TJ shook his head as he followed them down the stairs and into the living room,
“I can go down. I think I just got up too fast.”
“I didn’t wet or mess myself this time, Papa,” Kevin said tiredly. He leaned on
Bucky as his father helped him down to the couch.
Settling Kevin down on the comfy couch, Bucky offered a smile, “you wouldn’t.
These ones aren’t as . . . disorientating as clonic-tonics.”
TJ sat down next to Kevin and leaned his head on the blond’s shoulder, his
freshly buzzed scalp feeling odd pressed so close to Kevin’s skin. Frowning
softly, TJ shook his head before settling back down again.
Kevin wrapped an arm around TJ and sighed. “Except for the falling down, I
think I like this one better,” he said. “And I thought falling down and my body
going limp for a few seconds was just normal . . . didn’t realize it was a
different kinda seizure.”
“Now you know that these have to go in your journal, too,” Bucky offered a
smile to the boys but a knock at the front door drew a worried frown.
“I shoulda been putting them in there all this time, huh?” Kevin asked on a
sigh. “Papa,” he stopped when Bucky got up to go to the door. Looking at TJ,
Kevin said, “I wanna research about seizures. What website should I use?”
Slipping his phone out of his sweats pocket, TJ unlocked it and typed epilepsy
into the search engine. Clicking on the first notable link, TJ offered his
phone to Kevin, “Epilepsy Foundation sounds pretty legit . . .”
Nodding slowly, Kevin pulled over the laptop on the table, not checking to see
who it belonged to. He started searching the epilepsy site for information,
frowning as he discovered more and more about his own illness he’d been trying
to ignore.
Bucky made it to the door and looked out the peephole, knowing Steve would be a
few hours yet. Steve had a meeting with a potential buyer that afternoon and
had said he wouldn’t be home until near dinner time. After checking who had
knocked, Bucky punched in the code and opened the door, “Julian?”
Kevin looked over at the name and gave a tired smile, hope in his eyes. “Hey!
Julian! Missed you.” He deliberately shunted a bit closer to TJ to give Julian
the clue that he was still very much with his adopted brother, ignoring the
flip to his heart; TJ needed him.
Julian nodded and stepped into the home with a sheepish smile. He said, “hey,
Kevin, Bucky . . . TJ,” the dark-haired teen immediately noticed TJ’s buzzed
hair, bruised face, and stiff posture that showed there may be more injuries he
couldn’t see. “Uh . . . Kevin? Mind if we talk?”
“Sure, Jules,” Kevin turned and offered TJ a gentle sweet smile. “Be right
back, love,” he said, clearly, and stood, walking a bit sluggishly towards
Julian. “In the kitchen?” he asked. Avenger hung very close to Kevin, something
he always did after his master had a seizure.
Nodding, Julian followed Kevin into the kitchen. Once in the other room, Julian
rubbed the back of his neck, appearing sheepish, “first things first . . . I
want to apologize for kissin’ you like that. I shoulda asked first.”
Nodding, Kevin said, “okay, forgotten. Still friends?” He looked hopeful.
“Yeah, still friends . . . I . . . uh - - may not completely understand your
relationship with TJ but . . . if he’s the one to make you happy, then I won’t
get in the way of that,” Julian dropped his hand so it hung by his side.
Relief crossed Kevin’s face and he said, “thanks for your support, Julian. I
know it’s complicated, but imagine if you will falling in love with one of your
foster siblings. It’s like that.”
“Yeah, it may take some time to get used to. But, I’m willing to give it a go?”
Julian licked his lips, a nervous habit he did often when he was holding back
something.
“Thanks, Jules. I’d hate to lose our friendship. It means a lot to me. You’ve
gotten me through some pretty rough times.” Kevin tilted his head. “I’m sorry
this is so painful for you. I never wanted to give you false encouragement.”
“No, it’s not that . . .” Julian sighed and shook his head, glancing towards
the living room and then back to Kevin. “A house was searched yesterday, it
made the national news . . .”
“National . . .” Kevin sighed. “Let me take a guess . . . Lucas Rumlow’s
house?” The family had kept up on what was happening and knew about the search.
Both Bucky and Steve had stayed home with the boys while it had been executed.
“Yeah, well, they haven’t released the name of the owners of the house . . .
but, I recognized it from the several times we walked TJ there after school.
The news said something about a child being sexually assaulted and child
endangerment?” Julian looked at Kevin.
Kevin nodded and said, “we can’t say much since it’s an active case, but yeah.
We’re the ones who reported Lucas to the police and they’re looking for the
evidence to support our claims.”
“Is . . . is TJ okay?” Julian asked softly. TJ and Julian may not see eye to
eye all the time but Julian did care for the sensitive seeming brunet.
“He’s going to need years of counseling. What Lucas . . . I’m not even gonna
say allegedly, because I know TJ isn’t lying or making it up. What Lucas did to
TJ was very similar to what my Dad went through with his abusive boyfriend back
before he got together with Papa.” Kevin sighed and looked towards the living
room. “The same guy who thinks I’m his lost son, Julian, who he accuses Papa of
stealing and falsely adopting.”
“That guy who helped kidnap you, TJ, and Bucky some years back?” Julian’s
eyebrow rose in surprise.
“Yeah, we got him locked away in prison for it, too, but he’s Lucas’ dad and we
think he’s been advising Lucas to hurt TJ.” Kevin looked at Julian. “If I’d
known he was nuts enough to believe I was his long lost kid, I wouldn’t have
told him my name was Julian when we were kidnapped. I’d have said Henry or
something else.” Kevin sighed again.
“Wait . . . you told him your name was Julian? And he thought you were his
kid?” Julian frowned fiercely, his brown eyes worried.
“Yeah,” Kevin glanced back at the living room to check on TJ whom he could just
see then back to Julian. “I didn’t want to tell him my real name so gave him
the first one I could think of.”
“And he . . . has a son named Julian?” the dark haired boy continued to frown.
“Not sure, really. He said he did, but it turns out Lucas is his kid, so that
might be the kid he was talking about?” Kevin frowned, studying Julian
carefully. “Julian? Do you know a Brock Rumlow?” he asked gently, suddenly
putting some of his friend’s past together with other information he’d obtained
from his family.
“No,” Julian shook his head, jaw clenching, “I don’t know Brock Rumlow.”
“Is he the dad that went to jail while you’re mother was . . . working in bed,”
Kevin used the same words Julian had used when they were eleven.
“I . . . I gotta go,” Julian turned to leave the kitchen.
“Julian,” Kevin called after him, “you’re still my friend and welcome here any
time. You aren’t your father.”
Turning back to Kevin, Julian whispered harshly, “my father and brother hurt
your family so much.”
“But you never hurt us, and we all love you. Don’t run away from the people who
love you. Please?” Kevin reached out to touch Julian’s shoulder. “You can’t
help who made you. You’re better than them.”
Shaking his head, Julian let out a sigh, “I didn’t even know until this Summer.
My parents told me when we went on vacation.”
Nodding, Kevin asked, “Julian? You remember your adopted name, right? You tell
me your adopted name,” he gave a smile to Julian. “Cause that’s who you are.
Not a Rumlow.”
“I just never thought about my biological dad, ya know? I never actually knew
him and my mom was no better. I guess Lucas is from a different mother.” Julian
glanced towards the living room again and then back at Kevin.
Kevin nodded. “I get that. The woman I thought was my mom kept selling me for
sex before I came to live with Dad. I was one of the very few lucky victims,
Julian. Riley saved me and I wound up back with my family. But I could have
easily been you instead. I was born to one of his friends. A woman named
Crystal, Dad said.” Tilting his head, Kevin said, “hey, do you think we’re half
brothers?”
Frowning softly, Julian shook his head, “my mom’s named Jenny. Not Crystal.”
Softly, Kevin said, “my Dad said she had white blond hair and grey eyes like
me,” he sounded distant, trying to recall a woman he may never have seen. HIs
memory lay more with audio than visual.
“Jenny had black hair with brown eyes,” Julian answered, “I don’t think we
share a mother, Kevin.”
Slowly, Kevin lifted his eyes and said, “unless you’re Dad’s, too, Julian.
Brock made him take drugs and have sex with women.” Somehow, deep down, Kevin
prayed they weren’t blood related.
“I . . . uh - - I guess? But, my parents told me that the man on my birth
certificate is Brock Rumlow,” Julian reported.
Nodding, Kevin said, “I don’t mind being brothers anyway, even if it’s not by
blood. If you don’t want too, too soon or something, I understand. But, Julian,
you’re our family, too. You’ve been one of us since the day you followed me
home from school.” He offered his smile. “Wanna come out to the living room
with us? We’re searching my new seizure symptoms. Kinda boring stuff.”
“Sure,” Julian agreed with a nod, following Kevin out of the kitchen.
Kevin sank down next to TJ and gave him that sweet smile he was so known for.
“Heya, baby. Mind if Julian sits with us awhile? He’s had some weird news and
needs the love of his friends and family.”
TJ looked at Julian for a few moments before he nodded, “I . . . I don’t mind,”
he cuddled up close to Kevin, needing his boyfriend’s cuddles and love.
Kevin cuddled TJ close, very careful of his injuries. He flipped the television
on to a show all three liked, but Kevin pulled the laptop closer so he could
continue researching these new seizures - - or rather, seizures he’d been
having all along but hadn’t realized they were different kinds. Out loud he
said, “Avenger did real good today blocking me from falling downstairs during
that seizure.”
Julian looked between the two teens cuddled close to one another and then at
Avenger. Eyes moving back to Kevin, the raven-haired teen said, “that’s good.
He’s a good dog.”
“And Malakai’s stitches can come out in a few days,” Kevin smiled over at
Julian. Softly he asked, “wanna have dinner over here or do you gotta go home
for dinner, Jules?”
“My folks are expecting me for dinner. I just told them I had to swing by here
for a few hours to study,” Julian informed.
Kevin nodded and flipped the laptop window to another one. “Whatcha wanna
study?” Kevin sounded eager to get some kind of interaction going with his
friend.
“Well,” Julian laughed and shot a grin at Kevin, “I don’t actually need to
study . . . that was just what I told my parents. I mean . . . we can if you
guys want.”
Kevin shook his head and smiled, not offended that Julian had lied to his
parents about studying. It wasn’t like they were doing anything stupid or
dangerous instead, and Julian really was at Kevin's house. “Don’t need to
study. Teej, you need help with any homework today?” he asked, smiling at TJ.
Kevin still acted like his normal self around TJ except now he let himself
touch and cuddle more.
Humming softly, TJ tore his eyes from the TV to look up at Kevin, “nah . . .
not really. I mean, I got most of my homework done already. Or . . . I guess
it’s all kinda homework, isn’t it?”
“Guess so,” Kevin chuckled and settled to watch television and research his
symptoms once more.
***** Confronting Evil *****
Chapter Notes
     WARNINGS: Home Invasion, Referenced Severe Abuse, References Sexual
     Abuse, Referenced Drug Use, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Symptoms, Major
     Character Death, Referenced Bestiality (threats only), Referenced
     Necrophilia (threats only)
The phone rang and Bucky could be heard answering the call in the other room.
“Rogers Residence.”
“Mr. Rogers,” Foggy’s voice came over the line. “We’ve got evidence by the . .
. load. The police are sorting it out now, but . . . it’s worse than you
thought. And, unfortunately, once the raid happened, Lucas Rumlow took off. The
police are trying to find him right now. They’re sending Sam to your place and
we advised him to bring Riley.”
Frowning in worry, Bucky glanced into the living room, where the three boys
were still watching the TV. Lowering his voice, turning back into the kitchen,
Bucky said, “worse? How could it be worse, Foggy?”
A deep sigh escaped the lawyer. "Drugs, for one. It clearly shows TJ drinking
drugged products. Half the time he was unresponsive when things happened to
him. The videos are a nightmare.” Foggy seemed to turn away to answer a
question but his voice was too low to hear. He turned back to the phone. “Sam
and Riley have info for you. And it seems that there’s possibly another kid
involved, but we’re not sure if he’s a victim or not. At least, there’s another
kid listed as being a Rumlow?”
“Who?” Bucky asked, trying to stay calm after receiving more terrible details
about TJ’s abuse.
“Well, some of the letters that were found mention Brock’s looking for his
other son, Julian? There are claims that you have him, but we know that’s
really Kevin. But Brock is utterly convinced he has a second son about a year
older than Kevin is.” Foggy’s voice sounded worried, like he was trying to
puzzle through something.
“That could be anyone, Foggy. Brock wasn’t exactly faithful to Steve. He had
sex with multiple women over the years.” Bucky sighed and shook his head.
“Well,” Foggy said, “we’re trying to locate the kid. He may be in danger,
Bucky, or he might be another . . . prodigy of Brock’s.”
“Okay . . . let me know if you find out any more info, okay?” Bucky sighed,
pinching the bridge of his nose with his right hand.
“We will, Bucky,” Foggy continued using the more familiar, friendlier address,
though he’d started formal. “I’ve got another call. I’ll talk to you in a
couple of days.”
“Okay,” Bucky hung up the phone and let out a deep sigh. He pulled out his cell
and quickly typed out a text to Steve, ‘evidence found @ house. Lucas in
hiding. Sam and’. . .
The phone rang in Bucky’s hands as he tried to type.
Bucky answered it, despite not knowing the number and said, “hello? James
Rogers, speaking.”
“Hello, Bucky,” Riley said, his voice worried. “Have the boys seen the news
today?”
“Uh . . . no? They’re watching some TV show they like,” Bucky informed.
“Sam and I are on our way over, almost there. The police think you need a guard
since Lucas has jumped bail. The news is talking about the house search and
telling people it involves child endangerment and child rape.” Riley kept his
voice even and calm, despite the worries.
“Have they released TJ’s name?” Bucky asked, tone worried as he glanced into
the living room.
“Not yet. And they haven’t released Lucas’, either. But they showed his house
as it was surrounded by police. Anyone who knows where he lives knows who got
busted,” Riley answered.
“So, it’s only a matter of time before they link it to TJ,” Bucky sighed
softly.
Sighing, Riley said, “And if any of Lucas’s sidekicks watch the news, we may be
looking at a whole lot of suspects in the wind.”
“Riley, Foggy said drugs were involved?” Bucky headed a little further into the
kitchen so his voice wouldn’t carry over into the living room.
Sounding as if he nodded, Riley said, “Bucky, they’ve got video of TJ in
various drugged states, including unconscious and being force fed. And the cops
found cocaine in the house.” He paused to let the significance sink in.
“Oh my God,” Bucky breathed, true horror and misery in his tone. “They force
fed him cocaine? How the hell did these kids even . . .” Bucky shook his head,
cutting himself off. After a moment he said, “I . . . I don’t see any signs of
withdrawal or anything?”
“The cops didn’t say they gave the cocaine to TJ, Bucky, just that there was
cocaine in the house and that the videos showed TJ drugged and being force fed,
among other degrading acts.” Riley paused then said, “we’re pulling up in front
right now.”
Bucky didn’t even say anything before he hung up. Completely forgetting about
his unsent message to Steve, he slipped his phone back into his pocket to go
meet Riley and Sam at the door.
The therapist and cop stood on the front steps looking worried and grim, Sam
dressed in uniform, meaning he was on duty.
Bucky opened the door for them and stepped aside to let them inside. Sam gave
Bucky a single nod, lips pulled into a firm line. The detective looked at the
boys on the couch and then back at Bucky and Riley. “Does Julian need a ride
home?” He asked.
“Probably,” Bucky sighed with a nod and walked over to the teenagers. “Julian?
Sam’s asking if you need a ride home?”
Julian looked up and then at the two other adults in the room; realizing
something bad had happened and that Bucky and Sam were politely kicking him
out, the raven-haired teen nodded. “Sure, I could use a lift.”
Riley stepped forward. “I’m Riley Wilson. The boys can vouch for me,” he
smiled. “I’ll take you wherever you need to go.”
“I don’t live very far. Only about ten minutes away,” Julian stated, standing
up and offering TJ and Kevin a small smile, “see you guys later?”
Kevin stood, nodding, “definitely.” Looking at Sam, Kevin told Julian, “and my
phone’s always near me, Jules.”
Julian said his final goodbyes to the family before he allowed Riley to lead
him out of the home.
Once the pair left, Kevin sat back down next to TJ and said, “this is because
the raid happened.” He watched his adoptive father and the detective, but he
held his lover carefully.
Sam nodded, stepping over to the teens on the couch. “We found a lot of
evidence at Lucas’ place,” the dark-skinned detective looked at TJ. He’d only
been able to watch a few minutes of the videos before he had to excuse himself,
sick to his stomach seeing what was being done to the boy he’d known since TJ
was twelve. Sam couldn’t help but remember the footage of Steve being violently
assaulted and the similarities between them.
“Evidence?” TJ breathed out, eyes wide as he met Sam’s.
“Yes, TJ, Lucas . . . he took videos of some of these . . . parties you told us
about,” Sam confirm with a grim nod.
Kevin held TJ back against his willowy yet strong body. He carefully nuzzled at
the other teeen’s neck. “I love you,” he murmured.
Someone disabled the front door security.
Bucky walked over and checked who was coming in before letting out a sigh of
relief and opening the door. “Steve,” he breathed.
The tall blond wrapped a strong arm around his husband, sliding into the house
and enabling the security instantly. Steve said, “I heard the news and came
home. How’re the boys doing?”
“Sam’s with them now. Riley took Julian home,” Bucky informed his husband.
Nodding, Steve guided Bucky towards the living room. “DId anyone tell you that
Lucas skipped bail?” he had lowered his voice as he walked closer to the living
room. “And, they’re worried he’ll act out against TJ or Kevin or people they’re
close to. The dogs are going to have to be limited to backyard walks right
now.”
“Steve . . .” Bucky whispered, not wanting the boys to hear them, “there was
video. Lucas force fed TJ alcohol and drugs . . .”
“Good,” Steve growled. “Since we can’t change what that bastard demonspawn did
to our boy, at least he was stupid enough to tape it. We’ll be able to get him
and his buddies locked away for a long time.” Steve nuzzled at Bucky’s neck and
shoulder where flesh met metal.
On the couch, TJ whimpered softly and cuddled close to Kevin, thin body
trembling, feeling like he might get sick. Lucas had filmed what he made TJ do
. . . people could see it.
Just then, Sam’s phone rang and the detective answered it. His already grim
expression turned to one of complete shock. “What? When? How - -” Sam stopped,
listening to the other person on the line for a few minutes. “Yes . . . yes,
I’m with them now.” Sam looked to Steve and Bucky, brown eyes worried. There
were only a few more exchanges before Sam hung up and ran a hand through his
hair, looking worried.
Kevin, with his sharp ears, had heard the phone ring but not the conversation.
He looked to Sam, knowing something bad had to have happened for the normally
friendly detective to look so struck. “Sam? Would it be easier if you wait for
Riley?” Kevin offered, ever kind.
Looking to the blond teen, Sam frown softly and said, “I guess.”
Kevin sank back against the couch and wrapped his arm more securely around TJ.
“Should we tell Ava and Daniel and the others to be careful?”
“They are sending officers to Ava and Daniel’s, Nat and Clint’s, and Becca’s
houses,” Sam met the adults eyes, letting them know that something very bad had
happened.
Kevin nodded. “And Emma got home okay after lunch,” he said softly, stroking at
TJ’s shoulder carefully.
Riley came in, already knowing their security code as one of their emergency
contacts. He made sure the security was re-established before walking into the
living room and sinking onto a chair. “Julian’s home safe.”
“That’s good,” Kevin sighed in relief. “Sam? What was it you wanted to tell
us?”
Sighing heavily, Sam looked from each member of the family before settling his
eyes on the adults. “Brock Rumlow just escaped from prison.”
Steve ‘s body went instantly rigid at the news and his skin paled so much, they
could practically see the color drain from his face. He passed out. Avenger
leapt to his side and started whimpering.
“Steve!” Bucky managed to catch Steve on the way down, falling with his
husband’s dead weight and cushioning the landing.
Riley knelt by them and immediately began using his stethoscope to check
Steve’s heart. “We were afraid something like this would happen. It’s why I
came, too,” he told the others. Steve began rousing within seconds while Riley
tended him. “It’s okay, it was a shock but he sounds fine. I don’t think this
was heart related,” the nurse soothed.
Letting out a breath of relief, Bucky brushed his fingers through Steve’s hair
and then looked up at Riley and Sam. “I thought Brock was in a maximum security
prison?” Bucky’s voice was soft but there was a definite quiver of fear in it.
Sam sighed and shook his head, “he was being transferred for his scheduled
appeal hearing in the morning. He and someone from the outside managed to
overpower the officers transporting him and escape.”
Kevin’s soft voice responded, “Jackie . . . Jackie got released on a deal two
years ago.”
The detective looked over and nodded, “Jack Rollins is suspected to have been
the accomplice.”
Steve didn’t try to get up. Instead, he brought a hand to his head and asked,
“do they suspect Lucas of helping his dad?” His voice was strained.
“They aren’t sure but they’re not counting him out,” Sam informed on a sigh.
TJ hugged himself, letting out a soft whimper, “he . . . he’s gonna be so mad .
. .”
Steve swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. From years of therapy he was able to
push back that same feeling in himself, but he still felt a rising panic and
terror at the idea of Brock showing up and punishing him for the jail time.
“Bucky? Should we go to the clinic or something?”
“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, pale and slightly trembling, “yeah, we should pack up.
Move into the clinic until they can catch Lucas and Brock.”
Sam nodded his agreement, “I’m going to do a sweep of your car to make sure
it’s safe. You guys start packing.” The detective turned and headed out of the
home.
“I’ll go with Sam. Safety in numbers,” Riley said and headed out behind his
husband, hand on his pepper spray.
TJ whimpered again, his eyes wide and filled with fear. “Clinic’s safe . . .”
he murmured, mostly to himself.
Kevin nodded and stood, tugging TJ to his feet. “Let’s pack quickly, baby. Only
take the essentials. Our meds and Luna and the dog emergency bags . . .” he was
listing thing as he led TJ up the stairs. Avenger immediately started following
them, Malakai bringing up the rear.
Bucky looked down at Steve, “think you can get up yet, Steve?” He offered his
husband a soft, very worried smile.
“Yeah,” Steve slowly sat up, not apologizing for his faint. By then, it was
understandable that he’d have done so. Machismo was something long bred out of
that pair.
Bucky stood with his husband, helping the large blond to his feet. He kept a
supportive arm around Steve as they walked up the stairs and into the master
bedroom so they could begin packing their things.
The couple checked on the boys then began getting together their own meds and
some necessities. It had been years since they'd felt in danger like this and
had stopped the practice of having bags pre-packed for instant escape attempts.
Steve asked, “should we tell Natasha that we’re going to the clinic?”
Nodding, Bucky put some clothes in a bag, his flesh hand trembling. “I - - I .
. . I’ll text her . . .” it was obvious the news was finally sinking in to the
brunet that Brock, the man who’d raped him repeatedly over the span of a week
six years ago, escaped prison.
Steve stopped packing and turned to pull his husband into his arms. “Breathe,
Bucky, slow and even. Count them for me,” he said in a soothing voice, able to
switch to his taking care of loved ones mode and suppress his fears, almost
dissociating.
Doing as he was told, Bucky took several deep breaths and let them out,
counting each one. “We just . . . we have to get to the clinic. We’ll be safe
there . . .”
Steve nodded. “One step at a time, right? We pack. We get to the clinic. Want
me to go get the meds from the kitchen or do we want to make due with what’s in
the bathroom?” Steve never considered the fact that the clinic would have
plenty of meds for them.
Bucky, not thinking clearly either, nodded, “yeah . . . need our medicine.
Don’t forget TJ’s and Kevin’s . . .”
Nodding, Steve said, “you’d think Sam and Riley would be back by now. Are they
warming up the car? It’s not that chilly out yet.” He frowned and headed
towards the steps.
Bucky turned back to finish packing both their bags. After several minutes, the
brunet frowned and glanced towards the door. Carefully, footsteps quiet, Bucky
walked towards the hall. “Steve?” Bucky called once in the hall. When he got no
reply, Bucky’s heart dropped and his fear skyrocketed. Instinct drove him to
check on the boys first, needing to make sure they were okay. Once he was
greeted with the sight, through the partially opened door, of the boys quietly
packing, Bucky turned back to head downstairs.
Kevin looked over and offered a worried smile to Bucky. "Hey, Papa, all ready?
We're looking for TJ's music theory report, but we can leave it?" The dogs
weren’t in sight.
Stopping and turning back to walk over to the door once more, Bucky nodded,
“just leave it for right now. Stay in here, okay? Where are Malakai and
Avenger?”
Smiling, Kevin said, “they went with Dad downstairs. He said he was getting
meds from the kitchen. They’re both just as shook up as we are.”
“Okay. I’ll come get you both when we’re leaving, okay?” Bucky said.
Kevin nodded and moved to try to help TJ get his old stuffed wolf into his bag.
The pair might be seniors in high school, but Kevin never questioned his lover
sleeping with the toy.
Bucky quietly made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen where he froze
and went extremely pale at the sight of Steve unconscious on the floor.
Behind him a long familiar, and dread voice, said, “I’m here for my kid, Bucky
Boy. Been told he was given to a different family, but I know that’s a lie.”
Then Brock tased Bucky in the neck, very close to his metal shoulder joint.
                                  **********
Bucky woke what felt like days later, his entire body stiff and achy. He
groaned softly and his head rolled to the other side from where it hung limply.
Once he got more and more aware, the brunet could feel the missing weight of
his left arm, his legs were bound together, and his right hand tied to
something.
“Hello, Bucky, right? We haven’t gotten to really know each other over the
years. I’ve been locked in a cage.” The former police detective Jack Rollins
sat on a chair by the closed door to the living room. He grinned. “Comfy?”
Sluggishly, Bucky let his head fall back with another soft groan. He slowly
opened his eyes and blinked a few times to clear his vision. He tried pulling
at the bindings on his hand, but the knots wouldn’t budge, of course, Bucky
couldn’t put much effort into it yet.
Jack sat in Steve’s favorite chair, the one they’d ordered especially for very
tall men. The criminal had a seriously wicked looking blade and was flipping it
casually in one hand, always catching it by the weighted handle. Dressed in
jeans, boots, and a button down shirt of black, the criminal seemed quite at
home in the living room of his victims’ home.
“Kev . . . vin? TJ?” Bucky tried pulling again when he realized his boys had
been left, vulnerable, upstairs when he’d gone to check on Steve.
“Oh, don’t worry. They’re in great company. I’ll be joining in a moment. Just
here to check on you, Stevie, and the mongrels.” Jack stood and moved the chair
from in front of the door. “Now, be a good boy and you can join in the lessons.
We might even feed ya.” He turned for the door.
“Don’t you . . . touch them!” Bucky tried to shout but it came out more of a
rasp. “I’ll fucking . . . kill you if you touch them!” He tried again to free
his hand, but the knot was tied expertly, keeping his limb secured to the heavy
table.
Nodding, Jack looked back. “You’re a bit without power right now, Bucky. But,
let me make it worse.” He stalked over to the helpless man and squatted down.
Pulling a bandana from his back pocket, he shoved it in Bucky’s mouth then
quickly tied another around Bucky’s head to keep him muffled, sparing his life
by making sure the nose wasn’t blocked and the bandana wasn’t forced too far
into Bucky’s mouth it blocked his airway completely. “Better? I had hoped we
could play nice, but I was told you’re a mouthy bastard without your boy. So I
brought those rags just in case.” Standing, Rollins headed back out the door
and shut it, pulling something heavy in front of it in the hallway, the
decorative buffet by the sounds of it.
                                  **********
In the other room, TJ watched Brock and Lucas with wide eyes. His pale eyes
flickered to look at Kevin on the other side of their bedroom. “Where’s . . .
where’s Steve and Bucky?” He asked softly, looking back at the two intruders.
Brock studied the young man whom he remembered as a sassy, rude kid. He shook
his head. “Looks just like his daddy, don’t he, Luke? My God, it’s like looking
at a young Bucky Bear. He often go military macho?”
“No, they shaved him. He’s got lots of nice curls to tug at,” Lucas frowned,
eyeing the still healing teen he’d injured recently.
“Where’s Steve and Bucky?” TJ asked again, a bit more forceful, fearing for the
men who’d raised him these last six years.
Kevin stayed quiet, watching the two men carefully.
Brock sighed. “They’re fine. I’ll let them join us when they start behaving.
Stevie needs a lot of reminders. Got him in the kitchen where he belongs. When
he wakes his lazy ass up, he’ll be cooking for our family like he’s supposed
to. And you’re fuckin’ lying father is in the living room with my friend Jack,
who’s making sure he’s quiet and respectful.”
Looking at Lucas, the boy who TJ had thought he’d actually loved . . . had
devoted himself to for over a year, TJ said, “you don’t hafta do this, Lucas. Y
- - you don’t hafta do any of this.”
Lucas grinned. “What? I don’t havfta spend time with my best guy, making sure
he’s taken care of? That his needs are met? You and I both know you need me to
tell you how to even breathe, so I know you’re just aching for a good, hard,
ass-filling cock.”
“N - - no,” TJ shook his head, backing up until he hit the wall. “I’m not . . .
I’m not your’s, Lucas.”
“Yeah, you said that before. Then you gave me some shit . . . but I forgive
you, babe. Cause I know your family’s got you all fucked in the head, confused.
Next thing you know, they’d have you sucking off your brother and fucking your
dog.”
Brock slapped Lucas up the back of the head, “that’s fucking sick, Luke. No one
does dogs.”
TJ’s eyes widened more and he shook his head, “I - - I’m not confused, Lucas.
Your . . . your father is making you sick. You . . . this isn’t you.”
Lucas snorted. “See? What’d I tell you? They blame you for everything in this
family,” Lucas looked to Brock.
Brock shrugged, “who the fuck cares what they think? We’ll teach them the
truth. And they’ll love being back in their place. Hey,” his voice turned very
gentle and loving. “It’s okay, Julian. Daddy’s not gonna hurt you.” He moved
towards Kevin.
“You’re not his Dad! Stay away from him!” TJ shouted, his eyes widening at his
own loud outburst.
So soft he was barely audible, Kevin said, “my name isn’t Julian. I lied.”
Brock shook his head. “Now they got him thinking he’s someone else? Damn
assholes. I’ll fucking teach them to warp my boy.”
“You’re crazy!” TJ snapped, his old temper coming to the forefront, “you’re
fucking insane!”
Letting out a sigh, Brock looked over at TJ. He stopped his advance to Kevin
and strode to the injured boy instead. “You’re as mouthy as when you were a
kid. What was your name again?”
Almost like a cornered animal, TJ spat at Brock, “go fuck yourself.”
“Told ya he needs stuff to calm him down. TJ gets a bit over-emotional.” Lucas
shook his head. “I learned early to keep him happily sedated for his own good.”
Nodding but not taking his eyes of TJ, Brock studied the teen a bit. He
suddenly grabbed the back of TJ’s neck with a very strong hand and pulled him
closer, squeezing a bit. “You will learn to obey without your sick fuck drugs.
Only drugs a man needs are to keep him pleasuring the others. Stevie was the
same fucking way. Had to keep feeding him drugs or he wouldn’t get it up at
all.”
Spitting at Brock again, hitting the older man in the eye, TJ lashed out with
one long leg, nailing Brock’s upper thigh, very close to his groin.
Brock slammed TJ’s head down on the headboard of the bed then let go, backing
away while clearing his eye and cursing.
Dazed, TJ went limp for a few moments before trying to get back up.
Kevin instantly wrapped his arms around TJ and pulled him protectively close,
grey eyes huge and terrified. He let out the tiniest of whimpers when the door
opened and Jack Rollins strolled in.
At the whimper, TJ’s protective nature seemed to kick in and he sluggishly
pushed out of Kevin’s arms and then pushed Kevin behind him. He knew, from many
long talks with Kevin, that Jack Rollins had been one of the men to rent him
regularly as a toddler. Snarling the best he could, TJ glared at the three men.
Rollins looked mildly surprised. “Just like his dad downstairs, huh? He woke up
spitting mad and arguing with me. Had to gag him after all. Hope he doesn’t
choke on the cloth, but if he does, he won’t protest how we use his corpse.”
Brock whirled and glared at his friend. “Lucas is into beasts and you fuck dead
things? What are you two, fucking psychopaths? We’re not getting animals
involved in this, that’s disgusting. And we’re not fucking a dead guy, so you
better make sure Bucky doesn’t die until we don’t want him any more!”
“You’re all fucking nuts,” TJ snapped, the dizziness from the harsh hit
beginning to ease ever so slightly.
“I didn’t say I wanted to fuck a dog, Dad!” Lucas argued. “I said his . . .”
“I don’t give a fuck. Just don’t bring those animals back up. The next time
someone even mentions them, I’ll slit their fucking throats!” Brock glared at
Lucas. “You’ve gone too long without control. It’s time you learned how to
handle things properly.”
Suddenly, in a very quiet, terrified voice, Kevin said, “Daddy? Jackie hurt
me.”
Brock stiffened and turned to Kevin then looked at Jack Rollins then back to
Kevin. He moved closer to the teen. “What, honey?” he cooed.
TJ snarled as Brock got closer; it seemed with his lover and family in danger,
TJ regained all his fight. “You stay the fuck away,” TJ growled low.
Jack shook his head, “never touched your Julian, Brock, I swear it. And I think
we need to muzzle the other one. Shove a cock so far down his throat he chokes
on it.”
“Asshole,” Brock growled back at his husband. “The kid would bite it off in a
heartbeat.” He turned back to TJ and Kevin. “TJ, I’m not gonna hurt him. I
wanna know what he said about Jackie.”
“You fucking hurt everyone you touch,” TJ snarled, looking at if he was getting
ready to pounce on the man. When Brock got close enough, TJ jumped on him,
immediately pounding as hard as could, even biting at the man’s ear.
Brock roared and threw TJ off, not even aiming for the bed, uncaring if the kid
got hurt. “You little fucker!” he screamed and dove after TJ, grabbing for him.
Kevin jumped off the bed and threw himself protectively over TJ. “No! Please!”
he actually cried loudly, though his voice was still softer than normal, cowed
and frightened. The platinum blond was shaking so bad it almost seemed he was
having a seizure for a moment.
TJ seemed to be recovering from the tumble to the hard floor; he shook his head
and started to push up to his hands and knees.
Kevin stayed protectively in front of TJ, blocking Brock and TJ from contact.
“Please, Daddy . . .” he whispered once more. “Jackie hurt me in the bum. He
used my poop hole and I bled.” He met Brock’s eyes and the angry man stiffened
and turned slowly to face his husband.
“You fuck my kid, Jackie?” Brock growled. “When he was a baby and I was trying
to find him? You fuck my baby boy?”
Jack’s eyes widened and he shook his head, “he’s lyin’! I’d never fuck your
kid, Brock!”
“You got a thing for little boys, Jack . . . “ Brock growled. “I always ignored
it, but I noticed.”
“I . . .” Jack looked between Kevin and Brock, “I had no idea he was your kid!”
Kevin let out a pathetic whimper. “Over and over. I hurt so bad.”
Brock growled and shook his head, seeming not to register that Kevin was a
seventeen year old young man talking like a five year old. “Okay, gotta think
over this one. Jackie, you and me gotta talk, now!” He pushed his husband from
the bedroom and slammed the door, the sound echoing through the house.
Lucas turned to the other teens and snorted. “Clever little faggot, playing
them off each other like that. Like anyone cna prove which kids he fucked.”
Lucas walked over and pushed Kevin to the floor, exposing TJ. “And you fucking
embarrassed me in front of my old man, slut!” He grabbed at TJ’s arms to pull
him up.
TJ stumbled, unable to fight as he regained his bearings. Blood ran from the
corner of his mouth; it was uncertain if it was his own or Brock’s.
“Don’t care what he says. Soon as I get the chance, I’m giving you your fucking
medicine and making your damned dog fuck you up the ass! Then I’ll make you
fuck the dog and take videos!” Lucas practically spit he was so angry.
TJ tried to pull out of Lucas’ strong hold and he shook his head.
Kevin stood slowly while Lucas screamed at TJ. He reached for his half packed
bag, still slowly, and grabbed something from it. Suddenly, with the strong,
decisive moves of a dancer, Kevin plunged his artist’s sharpening blade in
Lucas’ neck where the shoulder joint was, screaming as loud as he had in the
school. “You leave him alone!”
As Lucas stumbled in pain and shock, Kevin grabbed TJ and pulled him from the
bedroom, heading for the steps. He dragged TJ into Steve’s supply closet and
locked the door from the inside, sitting in the dark among bottles, brushes,
and mops. Kevin wrapped his arms around TJ and buried his face in his
boyfriend’s neck, whispering softly, “we’re safe in here. He won’t get us in
here.”
TJ didn’t say anything, it was a miracle he’d been able to keep upright while
Kevin had tugged him downstairs. The coppery scent of blood began to fill the
small space, the multiple hits to his already injured head finally catching up
with him.
Kevin slipped off his pale pink shirt and wrapped it over TJ’s head, going by
soft touches and smell. “We’re safe,” he whispered softly. “They won’t come in
here.”
It was obvious the brunet teen passed out when his body went limp against
Kevin’s, his head falling on his boyfriend’s shoulder, blood soaking through
the fabric of Kevin’s shirt.
                                  **********
Opening his eyes in the darkened kitchen, feeling the tile below his cheek and
smelling the scent of the familiar room, Steve waited to gain his bearings. He
listened and could hear faint sounds of yelling from various parts of the house
and the sound of Malakai whimpering from the . . . pantry? Blinking again,
Steve realized he’d been tied up and secured to the refrigerator door handle.
Slowly, the big blond worked his way to a sitting position then onto his front.
He could feel the rope tug at his neck but he inched his way towards the
breakfast bar right beside the fridge. Shimmying around, Steve grabbed the leg
of a stool between his hands, which had been bound palms together. Steve thrust
the stool upwards, losing his grip on it. It clattered to the floor, unheeded
with all the yelling going on around the house, though it did set Avenger to
barking. But Steve had accomplished his goal: he’d knocked the cordless
landline phone receiver from the wall and it fell within crawling distance. The
rope pulled very tight on Steve’s neck, but he persevered and got the phone,
flipping it over with his nose and face. Using his nose, Steve tapped the speed
dial button for Natasha. He wondered how he’d talk with his mouth gagged but
didn’t worry about that.
“Hello?” Natasha’s voice was groggy and deep, she’d been asleep.
Steve grunted into the phone around his gag, then tried to form the word ‘help’
but it came out muffled and strange.
There was shuffling on the other side of the line and then Natasha’s voice
called out again, “Steve? Bucky?”
“Uh huh, uh huh,” Steve managed to get out. The sound of the dogs barking in
the pantry could be faintly heard over the line.
It was obvious that Natasha shook Clint awake when she said, “get the police to
Bucky and Steve’s now.”
“Got it,” the sleepy blond grabbed his phone and dialed the cops directly.
The loud sound of glass shattering could be heard from the living room. Almost
a minute later the door to the kitchen opened and Bucky limped over to pull at
the knot binding Steve to the fridge and then began working on his husband’s
hands. “We have to find the boys. There was screaming!”
Steve continued grunting and making noises at Nat in the phone, hoping she was
still on the line with him. Steve gave the phone to Bucky and stood up, un-
gagging himself as he ran over to the pantry, letting the dogs out. “Taser in
my art room, Buck,” Steve called. The dogs tore into the main house, barking
and looking to protect their family, a nice distraction while Steve hurried up
the steps.
Bucky hurried into the art room, setting the phone down on Steve’s desk as he
grabbed the taser from the drawer. He heard a noise from the hall closet and
whirled around. “Kevin? TJ?” He hoped the boys had found a way to get safely
into the closet.
As the sound of sirens pulled up outside, a single gunshot rang through the
house.
                                  ***********
Riley sat on the floor of the kitchenette in the clinic apartment the family
had been moved into an hour after the police got to the house. He was shaking,
holding an ice pack to his forehead, and at a loss for words. Around him, most
of the Rogers family were seated in the living room area or kitchenette, and
the Barton family had joined in so furniture was at a premium. The therapist
didn’t seem to mind, too lost in the aftershock of the entire home invasion.
Kevin was just as shaken as Riley, and just as silent, curled up next to the
couch, on the floor, while TJ had been stretched out on the couch after being
tended for his injuries. Kevin sobbed without noise.
Bucky sat in one of the chairs, visibly shaking though he didn’t cry or speak.
He almost appeared to be in shock.
A soft knock came to the apartment door and Clint sprang over to verify who it
was, on hyper-alert. He let the lawyers, Matt and Foggy, in followed by Steve.
Steve headed directly to his husband and knelt down to cuddle him.
“I’m free, Buck. The cops say I have to go to court for murder, but Matt and
Foggy feel I’ll be able to get acquitted on self defense. The cops agreed to
let me come home under supervision.” Steve glanced at the door where Tony
Stark, the clinic owner, strolled in with his assistant. “Tony paid bail.”
Bucky glanced at Tony and muttered a soft, “thank you,” before falling silent
again.
A soft groan of pain came from the teen on the couch, who was just now
regaining consciousness after he’d passed out in the closet. Kevin lifted his
tear-streaked face and turned. “TJ? I’m here.” he said, stroking TJ’s hand and
watching him, worried. The boy had been laid on the couch instead of a bed so
he could wake up in a safe, familiar crowd.
TJ’s hand slowly lifted so he could brush his fingers over the bandages that
were wrapped around his scalp. The brunet had a few new bruises from the
beating but the head wounds had been the worst. “Wha’ . . .” TJ murmured,
sounding lost and confused as he sluggishly opened his eyes.
“We’re at the clinic, Teej,” Kevin said softly, still stroking TJ’s hand.
“We’re safe now. Jackie and Lucas are in jail.”
“. . . Brock?” TJ rasped out.
Steve looked over and said, “he’s dead, TJ. He won’t hurt anyone anymore.” He
sounded a mix between relieved and regretful.
“Didn’t . . . want him . . . touch Kevin,” TJ’s eyes rolled to look over at
Steve and Bucky.
Kevin sighed. “I think I was the one person he wouldn’t have hurt, TJ.” He took
TJ’s hand and rubbed it against his cheek. “You were so brave.”
TJ made a soft clucking noise and looked back at Kevin, “you . . . were scared
. . . I wasn’t gonna . . . let any one of them hurt you . . . again.”
Steve continued to hug Bucky to him, stroking his hair softly. “None of them
will hurt us again. They’re gonna throw the book hard at them.”
Bucky sighed softly and leaned into Steve, wincing as he moved his sore body.
“I would hope so . . .”
Clint let the next visitor in, as well, softly saying, “Hey, Julian. Come join
the gang. You can go check the boys, they'll be okay.” He also greeted Julian’s
adoptive parents and let them in, very softly explaining the bare facts to the
pair.
Julian walked in and directly over to the two at the couch, Kevin still on the
floor. Falling to his knees, Julian said, meeting Kevin’s eyes, “Lucas tried to
get me to help them. I tried to get someone to believe me that they were going
after you.”
Nodding, Kevin let go of TJ’s hand to wrap his arms around Julian. “Thanks,”
was all he said then broke down into very soft sounding sobs.
Wrapping his arms around Kevin, Julian didn’t say anything else, just held his
best friend close and let him cry.
Steve stroked Bucky’s hair again and looked around at all their friends and
family gathered in the safety of the clinic apartment. “Thanks, Natasha . . .
for understanding my message?” he offered a shaky smile to the red-haired
woman.
“It’s nothing to thank me for,” Natasha assured the blond man.
Finally, from his seat by the sink, Riley spoke up, “thanks for calling,
Julian. Next time they won’t be so quick to dismiss a teenager as getting
hysterical.” He lifted the ice pack, exposing a very ugly bruise across his
forehead and right eye. “If I’d been conscious, I’d have tried my cell phone.”
Julian sighed and nodded, still holding Kevin.
TJ groaned again, a very soft noise, and tried to sit up.
Bruce walked over and checked the boy’s eyes and bandages. He ignored Tony as
the man strolled into the kitchen, helped himself to some water, and sat on the
counter. The doctor asked, “how do you feel? Nauseous? Dizzy?”
“All the above?” TJ said softly.
Nodding, Bruce said, “you’ve got a concussion but showed no signs of dangerous
swelling. We’ll stay here and keep an eye on all of you for the night. Clint
and Daniel already walked the dogs in the courtyard so they’re settled, too.
Malakai wasn’t severely hurt this time.”
“Can . . . can I go lay down?” TJ asked softly.
“If you’d like. We weren’t sure if you wanted to be out of the crowd, but if
you do, we can move you to the bedroom?” Bruce offered a soft smile to the boy.
Trying to sit up again, TJ nodded, causing him to wince, “want . . . want to go
lie down,” his eyes moved to look at Kevin and Julian and then back to the
doctor.
Bruce had Sharon help him get TJ to his feet but instantly Kevin rose and
replaced Sharon, cuddling TJ to him as he helped his boyfriend to their shared
bedroom.
“I’m sorry,” TJ said softly in Kevin’s ear, most of his weight leaning on
Kevin’s frame.
“Don’t be,” Kevin reassured him softly. “As long as you still want me for a
boyfriend, I plan to stick by your side like glue. I love you, Teej.”
“I - - I . . .” TJ let out a soft sigh, “I couldn’t let . . . them touch you
again, Kevin. I’m . . . so sorry.”
“You were so brave, TJ, and I couldn’t even speak hardly.” Kevin hugged TJ
carefully, giving him the sweetest smile of adoration. “You’re my hero.”
“I didn’t . . .” TJ carefully sat on the edge of the soft bed, thankful for the
moment not to be surrounded by a lot of people.
Nodding, as if understanding, Kevin said, “and I didn’t in the school hall,
either. But somehow, we both did.” He sank down next to TJ and began removing
the other boy’s clothes, very tender and careful.
Bruce turned on the Disney show Cinderella and walked out, leaving the lights
on and shutting the door most of the way.
“Kevin?” TJ breathed softly.
“Yeah?” Kevin met his boyfriend’s eyes.
“You . . . you still love me? Even . . . even after hearing all that . . .
stuff?” TJ asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Smiling again, Kevin said, “I love you even more now that I know what hell you
survived. You’re mine, TJ, and I plan to make up for every last hurt they did
to you. I’m gonna spend my life treating you right.” He very gently brushed his
lips over TJ’s. “I love you with every fibre of my being.”
“Can . . . can you stay in here? Jus’ . . . jus’ until I fall asleep?” TJ’s
tone took on a pleading note.
“I’ll do you better, baby,” Kevin promised. “I’m gonna stay in here all night
and watch over you.” Kevin pulled his own clothes off and sank down right
behind TJ, pulling the other boy flush to his nude body but making no sexual
advances. “My TJ,” he breathed.
TJ curled up in Kevin’s arms, so different, vulnerable, than the boy who’d just
nearly ripped off Brock Rumlow’s ear with his teeth.
“You know, TJ, I been thinking. In wolf packs they got something called an
Alpha, who is the leader and protector of the pack, right? And they got the
Beta, who’s usually the right hand man . . . that’s Julian. And then there's
the quiet Omega. I think that’s usually the Alpha’s best mate, and would die
protecting the pack just as fiercely as the Alpha . . . but is quieter about
it. You know? You’re my Omega.”
The brunet teen’s lips twitched into a small smile, “your Omega,” TJ breathed
before letting his eyes slip shut.
“Yeah, the Alpha and Omega, the end all and be all of everything. We complete
each other,” Kevin spoke softly, letting TJ fall asleep to his words, his soft
voice.
                                  **********
Steve sighed and helped Bucky to stand then move to the couch so they could sit
down together, Steve’s arms securely around his husband. He basically didn’t
pay much attention to everyone else in the room, concentrating mostly on Bucky.
He kissed the back of Bucky’s neck. “My love,” he whispered.
Bucky let out a breath, leaning against Steve, still getting used to the
missing weight of his left arm which had been damaged when Brock had tased him.
“I love you, Steve,” Bucky said to his husband,
“You know, Buck, I look at TJ and Kevin and they remind me of us . . . what I
wish I’d been brave enough to accept when you offered in high school, what we
became over the years. It’s still like that for you, right? Is it still the
same for you . . . like it is for me.”
“I never stopped loving you, Steve. And I don’t think I ever will,” Bucky
answered, looking up at Steve, meeting his eyes, “had you accepted me in high
school . . . Kevin wouldn’t be here, Steve.”
Smiling at that, knowing that changing anything in their past, no matter how
traumatic, would change everything in the present and future, Steve nodded. “I
think it’s time I took you on a date . . . maybe the Met. Bucky, would you like
to date me?”
Cocking a brow at his husband, Bucky offered a small smile to Steve, “we’ve
been married for twelve years, Stevie. Hate to break it to ya . . . we kinda
left the dating days in the dust.”
“Nah, we’re just backwards. We had kids, got married, now we date, right?”
Steve grinned and kissed Bucky.
Humming against Steve’s lips, Bucky smiled, “gonna woo me, Rogers? Gotta warn
you . . . I’m a hard man to impress . . .”
“I’ll keep at it until I win you over, Bucky, cause I’m still into you” Steve
breathed against his husband’s lips. “Here’s me, wooing you.” And he sealed his
mouth over Bucky’s in a deep passionate kiss.
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