Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/258367.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F
  Fandom:
      Veronica_Mars_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Cindy_'Mac'_Mackenzie/Veronica_Mars
  Stats:
      Published: 2006-04-15 Words: 2456
****** Is It Me? ******
by sinoftheday_(itsthedetails)
Summary
     Mac needs comforting after Beaver’s outburst.

Mac still couldn’t believe what had happened between her and Beaver during
lunch. Throughout the rest of the school day she kept expecting to find him
waiting outside one of her classes saying it was all a joke, or even that he'd
just overreacted, that he was sorry.
He was never waiting.
***
After school she wasn’t sure how she got to her car or even how she wound up
sitting in the parking lot outside of Veronica’s apartment complex. In the
past, Mac had never really needed a girlfriend to gossip with or ask for
advice, but today she didn’t think she could just go home and tinker with her
laptop and forget about everything.
Mac shifted nervously outside Veronica’s door, knocking lightly. She heard
shuffling inside and a dog’s bark. She almost ran back to the car, but the door
swung open before she could make a move.
“Mac, hi, what are you doing here?” Veronica asked, with a kind smile. That
tiny gesture pushed Mac forward, helped fortify her courage. She bit down on
her trembling lower lip, not really sure how to explain what she was feeling,
or even if she should.
Veronica stepped back from the door, concerned, beckoning for Mac to enter,
“Are you alright? You don’t look so hot.”
Mac looked around the apartment, unable to meet Veronica’s eyes. “Something
happened with Beaver,” she mumbled.
Veronica misinterpreted Mac's uneasiness as shy pride, and her eyes lit with
excitement, “Did you guys…?” she asked, motioning impatiently with her hand,
soliciting an answer.
Mac flopped onto the couch next to Veronica with a heavy sigh, “No, completely
the opposite.”
Veronica’s brow furrowed in confusion.
“After the dance last night I practically threw myself at him, suggesting we go
back to his place to be alone.” She paused, getting the high pitch in her voice
back under control, “And he used Dick—can you believe it?—Dick as an excuse not
to.”
Veronica shifted next to her, “Well maybe he really just didn’t want Dick
around. His brother isn’t exactly subtle. I mean, he’d probably want to watch
if he knew you guys were there to… uh make out.”
“That’s not all that happened.” Mac closed her eyes, cringing as she thought
about the confrontation at lunch, “I asked him about it. Asked him why he
didn’t want to do stuff… with me.”
Veronica winced, “Oh no.”
“It was bad, Veronica,” Mac said, finally able to look her friend in the eye.
“He got all defensive, as if I was attacking him. When all I was trying to tell
him was that I was nervous too. He told me ‘good luck getting laid.’ He made me
feel like I was some kind of slut for being curious about sex.” Mac’s voice
cracked, finally revealing how upset she truly was. “Does it make me a slut
just because I wanted… a little affection?” She met Veronica’s gaze, tears
pooling in her big hazel eyes.
Veronica shook her head fiercely, “Don’t… don’t you dare feel bad about this.
You feel how you feel, and if Beaver can’t handle it… than that is his problem,
not yours. Don’t ever let him make you feel bad about yourself.”
Mac’s chin quivered, tears still threatening to spill. “But what if it is me?
What if he doesn’t want to be with me because my chest isn't big enough? I
don’t even know if he liked kissing me. He never seemed that excited about it.”
“Listen to me.” Veronica blew her bangs out of her eyes. She thought for a
moment on what she was about to share. She hadn’t done the girl talk thing
since Lily was alive. She didn’t realize how much she missed it. “I’ve been
exactly where you are now. I had to figure out for myself that it wasn’t me.”
She paused again, taking a breath. “When I was with Duncan, I couldn’t… he
couldn’t make me… you know.”
Veronica blushed, a deep shade of pink, as she continued. “He really didn’t
even try to help me out. I thought it was because of me, because of something I
was doing wrong. I bought a stupid push up bra to try and appear more…
whatever. I tried to do things to make him more motivated, but it didn’t work.”
Veronica took Mac’s hand comfortingly, “It took me a long time, even after he
was gone to realize it wasn’t me who was the problem. It was him. He didn’t
care whether I was satisfied or not. He didn’t care if I was excited or not.”
Mac looked at Veronica still feeling dejected, “What made you realize that?”
Veronica blushed, again, if possible even deeper than before. “Actually, it was
Logan that made me recognize it. I remembered what it was like when he and I
were together. He didn’t even have to touch me for us to get excited. I never
once doubted that he was totally hot for me. I guess I've always kind-of
thought I was too short, or my boobs weren't big enough...but Logan just had
this way of making me feel like those things didn't matter. And when I made him
feel good, all he wanted to do was return the favor. In fact, more often than
not, he would insist on taking care of me first—oh, it was heaven.”
“Then why aren’t you with him?”
Veronica sighed, “That is a whole other issue.” She motioned for Mac to lay her
head across her lap. Lilly used to do this with her, once upon at time.
Veronica began to comb her fingers through Mac’s hair. “The point is you’re
awesome and Beaver obviously has issues. You can’t let one unpleasant incident
throw you so totally off course.”
Mac let out a breath, “I don’t have what you had though. I’ve never had someone
make me feel like that.”
Veronica continued stroking Mac’s silken tresses, “You’ll find someone who
will, someone that will make you feel electrified just with a simple touch.”
Suddenly, Veronica’s natural act of comfort felt like much more. Both girls
shivered as they let the rousing sensation shoot through them.
Mac sat up; her eyes following the path Veronica’s hand took as it slid from
her hair, over her shoulder and down her arm, where their fingers met,
entwining.
She lifted her eyes and through fluttering lashes, met Veronica’s intense
sapphire stare. Anticipation of something--neither girl sure of exactly what--
coursed through their bodies.
Eyes locked, fingers still tangled, they leaned into each other, so close,
until their lips ever-so-lightly brushed together. Their first touch was so
soft, it might have barely happened, but then they were pressing together,
tongues invading.
Finally, neither could breathe any longer and pulled apart. Desperate not to
break contact, Veronica crushed her mouth back over the dark haired girl’s,
massaging her tongue against Mac’s.
Mac freed her hands and grasped Veronica’s hips, dragging her body closer.
Veronica amplified the movement by throwing one leg across Mac’s lap.
A small gasp of surprise escaped past Mac’s lips. It only served to drive the
powerful awareness between them.
Before she could even contemplate the motion, Mac slipped her hands under the
hem of Veronica’s tank top. Her friend's skin was soft, and warm--and the
sensation only made her want more, but too scared to explore further, she held
fast to Veronica's waist.
They broke their kiss once more; Veronica feeling Mac’s sudden apprehension,
she asked, “What are we doing?”
Interpreting Veronica’s question as rejection, Mac tried to wriggle out from
under her.
Immediately, Veronica grasped her shoulders, “No… no, I just meant… I don’t
know what I meant, but, please, I don’t want to stop... do you?”
Mac quivered briefly, before being reminded of what Veronica had said earlier.
Just the profound look of need in Veronica’s eyes made Mac feel wanted,
special, more beautiful than she ever had in her entire life. “I’m scared. I
don’t know what I’m doing.”
Veronica soothingly caressed Mac’s arms, “I’m nervous too. I’ve never done this
either.”
Mac nodded her head, ready to follow Veronica’s lead. She leaned up and took
Veronica’s lower lip in her mouth, sucking lightly. Veronica moaned indecently,
giving Mac the confidence to slowly kiss down her throat, licking at a spot
that made Veronica’s moan intensify.
Mac relinquished Veronica’s throat and moved further down. She suckled at the
swell of her breast, hesitant to advance.
Veronica took away the decision, when she leaned back and quickly lifted her
tank top over her head, tossing it away, haphazardly.
Mac’s breath hitched as she took in the sight of Veronica bare breasts. They
were high and pretty, and Mac’s hands quaked as she reached out to cup them.
She gently rolled Veronica’s ruby nipples between her fingers.
Veronica’s head lolled back, her hands rising to tangle in Mac’s hair. She
pulled the brunette forward; Mac took the hint and timidly swept her tongue
over Veronica’s tightened bud. She then closed her mouth and sucked the nipple
into her mouth, tenderly nipping with her teeth—eliciting a delightful groan
from Veronica.
Unable to stand the pleasure any longer, Veronica pushed back and smiled shyly,
“You’re good at that.” She leaned down, gripped the hem of Mac’s t-shirt and
pulled it over her head.
Veronica captured the other girl’s mouth, while reaching around to work the
clasp of Mac's bra. Once the hooks popped, Veronica pulled impatiently at the
silky fabric to ease the removal of the offending garment.
As soon as the cool air reached Mac’s chest, she lifted her arms to cover
herself, embarrassment washing across her face. Veronica purposefully pulled
Mac’s arms away and tilted forward to take one pert nipple into her mouth. Her
tongue softly brushed around the firm bud, and then she swiftly bit down,
causing Mac to writhe underneath her.
As Veronica switched breasts, she nudged Mac backwards against the couch
cushions. Veronica shifted so she could continue sucking on Mac’s nipple, and
slowly her hands skimmed down Mac’s sides, teasing the flesh at her waist.
Veronica gently dropped kisses against Mac’s throat as she worked her way back
to her mouth; as she flicked lightly at the button on Mac's pants.
Mac returned the caress, her hands gliding up Veronica’s back and into her
hair, pulling Veronica forward in order to deepen the kiss. She explored
Veronica’s mouth with vigor.
She was so entranced in her friend’s sweet taste; she almost missed when
Veronica popped the button on her pants and slid her small hand between her
thighs.
Mac gasped out, ‘Veronica,’ with a quiver in her voice.
“Shh,” Veronica whispered, “I’m going to take care of you, I promise.” She
placed one chaste kiss against Mac’s lips before pushing her tongue back into
Mac’s mouth.
Carefully, Veronica rubbed a finger against Mac’s clit through the soft cotton
of her panties, enjoying the soft mewling sound that she got in response to her
efforts.
Mac moaned in protest when Veronica removed her hand, but the pause was only to
allow Veronica to push Mac’s jeans and panties down over her hips. Mac blanched
at the feeling of being so exposed, but Veronica whispered assurances as she
gently nibbled at Mac’s ear.
Tenderly Veronica returned to her task, pressing a finger to Mac’s clit,
delicately tracing small circles around the hardened nub. With great care,
Veronica pressed a finger into Mac’s body.
Mac bowed against Veronica, “Oh God!”
A shy smile spread across Veronica’s face as she began to pump her finger in
and out in a steady motion. Mac’s body was still arched against her hand, and
Veronica bent her head, sucking at the hollow of Mac’s throat
Mac’s moans grew louder when Veronica added a second finger and picked up her
pace. Still thrusting her fingers, Veronica pressed her thumb against Mac’s
clit.
With a twist of her fingers, Mac was coming, moaning and crying out,
“Veronica!”
Veronica stayed with her as she came down, kissing her lightly. Mac’s chest
heaved as she calmed, and it wasn’t until several minutes later that she
finally noticed that Veronica was watching her closely.
Mac shifted quickly, her hands flying to Veronica’s hips, “I could… for you.”
Veronica smiled and shook her head resolutely. “No… this was all about you. I
wanted you to feel as special as you are,” she laid an affectionate kiss on
Mac’s nose. Then, with a wily grin, she continued, “and after that reaction, I
hope I proved it to you.”
Mac giggled, “Hell yes, you did. You swear you’ve never done this before?”
Veronica grinned slyly, “Nah, I just pay attention.”
Mac leaned up and pressed a stirring kiss to Veronica’s lips, “Well, thank God
you did.”
***
The next day at school, Mac smiled brightly at Veronica when they crossed paths
in the hallway. Veronica noticed Beaver heading their way, so she linked arms
with Mac and walked purposefully past him, as if he didn’t even exist.
Leaving Veronica at her locker, Mac turned into her history class. She took an
empty seat near the back, and Logan, who was sitting one row over, nodded a
hello.
Mac nodded back, at the last minute adding with a grin, “I feel like I should
thank you.”
Logan looked back at her, curious, “For what?” he asked suspiciously.
Mac smirked, “Have you ever heard of ‘paying it forward’?”
“That’s an awful movie.”
Mac rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about the movie, just the concept.”
Logan looked confused, but shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah, I guess I know what
it is.”
Mac smiled, “Well, let’s just say that you once did something good for someone,
and they in turn did the same for me.”
Intrigued now, Logan leaned closer to question Mac about this vague good deed,
but just as he did, the bell rang and class was called to order.
***
When the bell rang ending class, Mac was out the door before Logan could try
and question her again.
He sauntered in the nearly empty hall, in no particular hurry to get to his
next class. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Veronica come around the
corner. He watched the girls exchange shy smiles, as they briefly touch fingers
when they pass each other, and then continue on.
A confused look passed over Logan’s face as he thought, What the fuck was that?
Halfway down the hall, he abruptly stopped and turned to stare, jaw hanging
open, back to where he could still see Veronica walking. Suddenly, it hit him,
his peculiar conversation with Mac plus the exchange he just witnessed; it all
made much more sense now.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!