Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/115653.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki, Chad_Michael_Murray/Alexis_Bledel, Jared
      Padalecki/Original_Male_Character
  Character:
      Jared_Padalecki, Jensen_Ackles, Danneel_Harris, Chad_Michael_Murray,
      Alexis_Bledel, Sandra_McCoy, Misha_Collins
  Additional Tags:
      Community:_spn_j2_bigbang, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School
  Collections:
      Supernatural_and_J2_Big_Bang_2010
  Stats:
      Published: 2010-07-19 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 24349
****** Intelligence Quota ******
by Hildigunnur
Summary
     High School AU. Being the living version of Wikipedia doesn't mean
     you got all the life smarts. That's certainly something Jared
     Padalecki learns along the way while he competes for his high
     school's quiz bowl team with his team mates, Danneel and Sandy, deals
     with his best friend, Chad, and crushes hard on his quiz bowl team
     coach, Jensen. But what's life without stupid mistakes, high school
     partying and sage advice from Misha?
Notes
     Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction but like most fiction, the
     inspiration comes from real life. There are few scenes in this story
     based on things that happened in my own life and few of the
     characters are in part inspired by people in my life. There's no harm
     intended by this or anything else that appears in the story.
     Warnings: Underage sex, dub con (Jared/OMC), underage drinking,
     unprotected sex.
     The dub con warning is there because the scene it refers to, can be
     interpreted as dub con. I personally don't see it that way but I'm
     aware that it might make a reader uncomfortable and even be
     triggering.
     As for the underage drinking, I put the warning there because I know
     I'm working a cultural difference here. It's difficult to decipher
     the drinking culture in America because the TV news, magazines etc.
     always seem so alarmist while you see often see a lot more casual
     approach to underage drinking in movies and TV shows.
     This fic also contains a discussion about sexual child abuse.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
Intelligence Quota - Part 1

If there is something Jared would love to do more than anything - well, not
anything, but it's pretty close to the top of the list - then it would be to
blame Chad Michael Murray for it. What it is, is another matter altogether but
Jared does want to blame Chad for all his teenage angst.
He couldn't lay the blame on the quiz bowl team itself because he could have
quit after the first year and been blissfully ignorant. Well, as ignorant as
someone could be when they've sometimes been described as a walking
encyclopedia.
Then again, he wouldn't have been on the quiz team if Chad hadn't literally
made him sign up, saying things like; 'someone must have liquefied the
Encyclopaedia Britannica and filled up the six feet something of you with the
goop.'
Also, if he was going to be honest with himself, the quiz team only
peripherally contributed to his problems. That is to say, the quiz bowl team
itself; as in himself, Danneel and Sandy. The satellites which orbited the team
were a whole other story.
The crux of the matter is that when he walked into the first meeting of the
quiz team in the new school year, his problems started, and one could say they
haven't stopped.
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zqtrw]

"Aren't you coming to the meeting?" Sandy asks as she skips past him in the
hallway. She appears extremely determined and Jared knows why: if anyone is
jonesing for them to win this time it's Sandy - she is out for blood this year.
As Sandy sprints ahead, Jared sees Danneel strolling along and he slides up
next to her.
"Did you hear? Alexis brought in some new kid to assist with the team, you
know, the drills and all the menial grunt work. I think she's getting touchy
about her GPA or something." Danneel takes her time with the words and Jared
knows from experience that she's trying to play it very cool, which probably
means she knows something about the new kid. He wants to press for details but
he's going to see for himself in a couple of minutes anyway.
The quiz bowl team has Mr. Rosenbaum's classroom after school, every Tuesday
and Thursday, in the few months leading up to and during the regionals. Last
year they got pretty close to finals and all of them, not just Sandy and
Alexis, want to go all the way.
When Jared and Danneel finally make it through the door of the classroom, Sandy
is already sitting. Mr. Rosenbaum has his back to them and so does Alexis; they
are talking to someone who Jared suspects is this new kid. He takes a seat next
to Sandy, Danneel sitting down on her other side.
"Everyone's here," says Alexis as she turns around, obviously ready to start
their training but Jared takes no notice of her. He's too busy staring at the
new kid. Well, he can't call him a kid, the guy is obviously older than him but
that's not really what Jared notices the most. In fact, he isn't entirely sure
what he's noticing the most. Perhaps it's the buzzing in his ears or the sweat
on his palms. He doesn't know what to focus on; the guy's eyes, lips, broad
shoulders, handsome face, hands, and he ends up looking down at the table.
"So, gang, this is Jensen Ackles who is going to assist us through this season
because God knows we need the help. Jensen, this is the team."
Jared is vaguely aware of Sandy introducing herself to Jensen and then Danneel
does the same. He manages to do so as well, though it's like he's stuck in a
trance. Jensen's grip is firm like he wants to make himself trustworthy and
memorable. He shouldn't have to worry about the latter, though, at least not
where Jared is concerned. The rest of the meeting goes by in a haze and Jared
feels like he's on autopilot through all of it.
It isn't until he's standing the hallway, looming over Danneel who is picking
up her chemistry textbook from her locker, that he comes to.
"Still spaced out?" she asks as she closes the door to her locker by slamming
it shut and looks up at him.
"Huh? What?" Jared blinks and briefly wonders how come he's at Danneel's locker
all of a sudden.
"Oh, you are so gone. So far gone. I've never seen you like this."
"Like what? What are you talking about?" Jared isn't sure why but he feels like
he must defend himself against whatever Danneel is talking about.
"Like you've just seen the face of God, doofus. His name isn't Brian Kinney
though, is it? It's Jens…"
"Shut the fuck up, Danny."
She stops but keeps smirking at him like she knows something he doesn't. He
hates it when she does that, maybe because she does it all the freaking time.
They walk out of the school in silence and Jared is grateful for that. He
really needs a freaking minute to gather his thoughts because he sure does not
know what happened in that meeting. It is like a runaway train hit him full
force.
"Hey, Jay! Danny!" Chad comes running up to them in the parking lot, his
basketball stuffed under his t-shirt, making him look eight months pregnant.
"Your 'Brainiacs Anonymous' meeting over?"
"You done with your ob-gyn appointment? When's your baby due?" says Danneel and
pushes down on Chad's basketball so it drops down to the asphalt and bounces
away from them. Chad curses and runs after it. Danneel seems to get a secret
kick out of tormenting Chad.
"Goddamn, woman," Chad huffs when he returns with his ball. "So did anything
exciting happen?"
Jared rolls his eyes and stifles a groan when Danneel's face lights up.
"As a matter of fact, a very exciting thing happened. We have a new coach.
Alexis found some guy at a pub quiz and thought he might be able to help but
I'm afraid he's going to be too much of a distraction for Jay here."
"Oh? How come?" Of course Chad decides to play all coy like he doesn't know
what Danneel's hinting at.
"Remember when Jared had a crush on that friend of yours from the team, James,
right? Yeah, this is like hundred times worse. He totally spaced out on us
today."
"Danny!" Jared almost shouts, heat creeping up his cheeks.
"Oh, dude!" Chad slaps him on the back, wearing his shit-eating grin, which
tells Jared that Chad's going to pump Danneel for information the first chance
he gets. "I've got to know more."
"Not much to tell, except Jay here seems to have developed some taste,
finally."
"Guy's actually a chick?" Chad asks and Jared really wants to give in to the
urge to leave in a huff but he knows that neither Danneel nor Chad mean any
harm. They just love to tease him; even more than they like to tease each
other.
"Pretty enough to be a chick, not girly though. Jay always goes for the pretty
boys, doesn't he?"
"Never gone for me though, has he?" Chad is obviously trying to sound
disappointed but it's ridiculous enough to make Jared stop feeling so
embarrassed.
"Dude, in your dreams." Jared can't help but roll his eyes.
"Yeah, I think we need to get at least ten beers into Jared before he'd go for
you, Chad. I would totally pay for those beers, though."
"How come I don't get beer? I'm the one who's straight."
"Oh, no one is going spend precious booze on you to have you make out with a
guy when you'd totally do it stone-cold sober." Danneel punches Chad's shoulder
and he grabs it, feigning a great injury.
"You wound me, woman. But Jay, seriously? You're all, like in love and shit?"
"Whoa, I just met the guy. For one, he's like four years older than me, in
college and everything. Secondly, he might be totally straight for all I know
and maybe he's a horrible person." Jared is pretty much reciting what the
rational part of his brain is trying to tell him. All the other parts of his
mind are still incoherent and he has to hang on to the few lucid thoughts he
has if he wants to be able to function at all.
Chad doesn't answer him and Danneel doesn't comment either as they all flock to
Chad's truck. Their silence is almost foreboding to Jared, like they know more
than he does.
Maybe they do.
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zp0rt]

Jared has known he's gay for a long time. He actually remembers the date he
realized it, but he's well aware no one would believe that, not even Chad who
was present but kind of too busy eating his own boogers to notice. It was a
sunny day and they'd been in second grade. Mrs. Connelly had the class gathered
in a discussion about the hydrologic cycle and Jared had been sitting across
from Tom, who had known that freshwater can appear above ground as a spring.
Mrs. Connelly had complimented Tom, of course: he'd smiled and something in
Jared's belly had fluttered like it had been him who had given the right
answer. Back then he'd already been falling for guys who were smart, like
himself.
The rest of that sunny day he had pondered what the flutter in his belly had
meant. He had watched Chad pull Sophia Bush's pigtails since kindergarten and
despite Chad's frequent declarations that girls had cooties and Sophia had them
in particular, he was pretty sure that Chad was kind of sweet on her. Maybe not
as sweet as Dad was on Mom but you know, enough for it to warrant some teasing.
But since Chad never really teased him, Jared saw no reason to tease Chad about
Sophia, not even when he couldn't find the straw on his juice box with his
mouth at lunch because he was too busy staring at her.
Jared had a pretty good idea, even back then, that when they grew older, people
paired off, a man and a woman, like Mom and Dad. Then they'd get married and
start a family. He knew how babies were made and could name all the anatomical
parts involved and explain how a sperm would fertilize an egg which would then
turn into a zygote and plant itself inside the womb, turn into a foetus and
finally a baby that would be born approximately nine months after conception if
everything was as it should be.
But two men couldn't do that, make a family by themselves. None of the books
Jared had read about the human body had mentioned anything about that. He did
remember a book he'd tried to read but hadn't understood all that much of;
about Ancient Greece. There had been chapters on the philosophers and their
work, where it had been said that the practice of pederasty was present in
their works. He'd gone and looked pederasty up in an encyclopaedia. It hadn't
helped much but he was left with the vague sense that once upon time in Ancient
Greece and Japan, young men who wanted to be someone in the world got mentors,
who would also teach them the ways of love. To a seven year old, even an
intelligent and analytical one like Jared, this had, quite frankly, sounded
scary.
He'd become frustrated because he wanted answers. Normally books would give him
the answers but not this time, and since he wasn't allowed to use the internet
without one of his parents present, asking one of them would just be easier. He
supposed that since this seemed to be a men-only issue, his dad would be more
likely to provide the answers he was looking for.
He approached his father just as he was settling down to watch TV and checked
to see whether his older brother was within an earshot. Jeff was pretty cool
for an older brother but he would probably laugh at Jared for this.
"Dad, can two guys be together like you and Mom are together… I mean, not
married but you know…?" His voice trailed off as his father turned to him,
looking a little more serious than Jared would have liked.
"Why do you ask, Jared?"
"I read… that sometimes older men who were teaching boys would also be with
them and they would…" Jared gulped, trying to remember the words he had read,
"…engage in anal intercourse and…"
His father grabbed his shoulders hard, startling Jared.
"Has anyone been…" His father's voice sounded oddly choked, "…telling you about
this and then touching… hurting you? You have to tell me, understand?"
Jared blinked, his heart hammering. Had he done something wrong? Hot tears
started to well up in his eyes.
"I… Dad… I just read it in the encyclopaedia because… I wanted to know… I'm
sorry, Daddy…"
"Jared Tristan Padalecki, you must tell me. If there's someone hurting you and
telling you that you can't tell anyone, I need to know. It's illegal and you
must tell me."
The tears were running down his cheeks and the burn of shame grew with each
sob.
"I just… Daddy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… don't be angry. I… Tom, he's is in
my class, he was smiling and I thought… it made me feel nice, a lot more than
when Chad smiles and Chad is my best friend in the world and I don't want Tom
to become my friend instead of Chad… and I thought maybe I liked Tom like Chad
likes Sophia even though he says she has cooties. I'm sorry…"
His father's eyes widened and he lifted his hands off Jared's shoulders to hug
the boy to him. Jared tried to take deep breaths to stop his sobbing.
"Oh, Jared. I misunderstood, I'm sorry if I frightened you. Please calm down."
His father stroked his hair and Jared stopped crying but his question still
remained unanswered.
"Dad," he said as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. "Can you like boys like
that? Can a boy have a boyfriend?"
"Yes, that's possible. People can have same-sex relationships. Two men can be
in a relationship with each other and so can two women. It's called being gay
or homosexual. Women who like other women like that are also called lesbians. A
lot of people have problem with them, for religious and other reasons. You are
still so young, people don't really know for sure who they like until they are
teenagers but if you think you like boys when you are older, you know you can
always talk to me or your mother. We just want to you to be happy."
Jared listened solemnly to his father and nodded. He was relieved that his
father wasn't mad about him liking Tom but he kind of didn't want to tell
anyone else now. He still felt confused and frightened, frightened of making a
mistake and cause someone to hurt him in the way his father was talking about.
And what if he still liked other boys when he grew older and people would hate
him for it? He smiled weakly at his dad and went to his room to look at his
world atlas. His atlas was never confusing but he always learned something new
when he looked at it.
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zkydz]

It's not until his early adolescence that Jared fully realizes that he's really
gay. His self-revelation brews as he grows up and watches Chad develop a crush
after crush on girls. He doesn't voice how he himself is also developing
crushes; on boys, that is.
He feels the need to tell someone but every time he starts visualizing telling
Chad he imagines fear and disappointment. He also remembers the discussion he
once had with his father and the mere thought has his insides writhing, even if
he knows intellectually that his father hadn't been angry with him. Still, the
thought alone of telling his family that he will probably never marry a girl
and have the American apple pie life when he grows up has him hyperventilating.
At twelve, Chad finally decides that girls are definitely cootie-free and that
he would very much like to kiss one of them, preferably as soon as possible.
Everything starts to revolve around kissing a girl - or at least finding ways
to kiss a girl.
Jared knows that he can't use the same strategies in order to find boys to kiss
so he kind of follows Chad on his quest - until the kissing becomes a real
possibility, when Chad has convinced their friends to play 'Spin the Bottle' at
Tessa's birthday party.
After contemplating faking the flu, Jared decides to tell Chad. He asks Chad
over, and with clammy palms and his heart lodged somewhere in his throat, tries
to nerve himself into saying the words. After having paced in front of Chad for
few minutes, Chad watching him with his eyebrows raised, Jared stops in front
of his friend and literally drops to his knees. Chad's eyes grow wide but he
doesn't move.
"Chad, I just want you to know that you are my best friend and now maybe you'll
stop being my friend so I just want you to know that. What I want to tell you,
no matter what you think or feel about it, I know you'll keep it a secret."
As Jared inhales and readies himself, Chad starts to chuckle.
"Jay, you're my buddy and even if you're going to tell me that you like deep-
frying live kittens, you're still going to be my buddy."
Jared twists his lips at Chad's suggestion.
"Chad! Please listen to me. I'm trying to tell you that I'm gay."
Chad's chuckle changes into full-blown laughter, a laughter that reminds Jared
of every moment him and Chad have done something – of happy days, of kites,
paddle pools and corn dogs. All the pent-up tension leaves Jared and he feels
lighter, like someone has relieved him of some heavy shopping bags.
"For all your talk of me being your best friend, you don't seem to think I know
you. Dude, I know. And I don't give a damn whether you're gay or not. You are
still Jared Padalecki and Jared Padalecki is my buddy. Now and forever and
don't forget that."
Jared can't help it – he smiles wide and bright.
"And dude, you don't have to mack on girls at Tessa's if that's the reason why
you are telling me this now."
Nodding, Jared chews on his lips.
"More for me, then. It's just too bad that there probably aren't any boys ready
to make out with you. I have my suspicions about Todd but I'm not sure if he's
realized that about himself yet."
"I really don't want to kiss Todd. Ever."
Chad giggles.
"I'm glad that you at least have taste, though you are totally crazy for not
liking boobies," Chad snorts, which makes Jared laugh and call him a pervert
and wonder why he was ever worried that Chad wouldn't understand.
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zhyya]

Normally, Jared loves Thursdays. There's AP History with Mr. Rosenbaum and
they've been doing an in-depth project about the life of a soldier in the First
World War. It's both fascinating and sad to think of all the young men, boys
his age really, in damp dug-outs and trenches. They must have been so scared,
fighting and being so far away from home. He also has Physics with Mr.
Lindberg, who is really interested in electronics and Jared is sometimes
worried that someone will get electrocuted during the experiments.
This Thursday is completely different. First of all, Jared makes Chad wait for
him in the driveway for something like ten minutes because apparently, Jared
had planned to go to school without his school bag. Even though tardiness isn't
something that worries Chad a lot, he isn't very happy when they barely make it
before the second bell.
Then there's the buzzing that fills Jared's head all day, like his head is a
fuzzy TV screen. Mr. Rosenbaum could just as well have been speaking about
Paris Hilton's shoe collection than the battle of Verdun. And he's clearly
missed a joke from Mr. Lindberg when he manages to notice Sandy doubling over
in her seat next to him, muttering something about electrons and their smelly
feet between wheezing gales of laughter. He doesn't even notice Danneel's smirk
at lunch when he stares at his lunch tray like he's never seen chicken nuggets
before in his life.
After the bell rings out the last period he just sits at his desk and stares
straight ahead, like he's forgotten that when the period ends, you're supposed
to get your ass out of the class room.
"Padalecki, gather your things." Mrs. Ferris, his English teacher, isn't a
particularly patient woman and she's usually keen on getting rid of her
students when the bell has rung out the last class. Jared barely hears her but
he scrambles to put away his notebook and his battered copy of A Portrait of
the Artist as a Young Man.
"Is something wrong?" she asks as he is about to exit the classroom. "You
seemed distracted in class."
Jared can only give her a smile and a tiny shake of his head. He's pretty sure
that Mrs. Ferris isn't interested at all in the reason he wasn't enraptured
while she pointed out the various ways James Joyce criticized the Catholic
Church in his works.
The buzzing that has been filling his mind hasn't lessened but the thoughts
he'd been trying to keep at bay were starting to seep through. The bi-weekly
quiz bowl team meeting would commence in about twenty minutes and he wasn't
ready. What if the same thing would happen this time? What if he'd zone out
again and not come to his senses until the meeting was over? That is no way to
train. He isn't necessarily a person who deals well with things as they happen:
he prefers to have a strategy. If Jensen Ackles's continued presence keeps
being a distraction, the obvious and sensible solution would be to ask Alexis
not to bring him to any more meetings, but the mere thought of asking her to do
that felt so wrong that it was like his stomach cramped in pain, like someone
had wrapped a rubber band tightly around it.
The best way he has to deal with it would be to try to drown it out in his
mind: to not think about it, or at least try his very best not to. Ignoring his
troubles isn't something he's used to doing but at the moment it is the only
way.
Mr. Rosenbaum, or Rosey, like they call him at quiz bowl meetings, is the only
one present when Jared walks into the classroom, his book bag slung over his
shoulder like it's a terrible burden.
"Hey, Jared." Rosey is putting away some papers and looks up to smile at him.
"Hey," Jared mumbles as he sinks down in the next chair he sees. He looks out
the window and right at the asphalted parking lot where he spies Chad,
seemingly talking to Alexis and Jensen. Even though he's looking at them from
some distance, the mere sight of Jensen is enough for his heart to fling itself
against his ribcage. He looks away and sees Rosey looking at him with concern
evident on his face.
"Everything okay, Jay? You seemed out of spirits this morning and to be honest,
you still look like that."
Jared has no desire to discuss what's on his mind, so he mutters something
noncommittal and then becomes very interested in the content of his book bag,
though he knows he won't find the solution to his problems in his physics
report, his history text book and not even in James Joyce. Still, he doesn't
have to face other people's concern looking at the physics report and frowning
at the only mistake he made in the calculations.
The others start to filter in. Sandy comes in and starts a discussion with
Rosey about whether she should concentrate harder on birds common in America or
insects. Jared has always been glad he isn't in charge of zoology on the team.
He loves animals but he's crap with all the Latin names. Sandy seems to have a
very easy time remembering them and Jared knows she sometimes calms herself
down in times of crisis by reciting the Latin names of the cat family.
He's still looking at the physics report when Danneel slides into the chair
next to him.
"You on planet Earth, Jay, or are you still a space cadet?"
"What are you on about?"
"Still orbiting Planet Jensen, I see." Danneel leans on the table with her hand
under her chin.
"Shut up. Danny, no, I'm just preoccupied with school, that's all."
"Jay, honey. I would actually love to get through regionals and we can't get
there without you, so please snap out of it for the meeting. Afterwards, you
can head back into space if you want."
"I am focused," he snaps back.
"De Nile, not only a river in Egypt," she says in a sing-song voice just as
Alexis and Jensen arrive. Maybe Danneel has irritated him just enough for him
to snap out of it for the rest of the meeting.
They do quite well with the questions Alexis has obviously made Jensen write,
especially since a good part of them relate to Jared's expertise on history and
literature.
At the end of the day both Alexis and Rosey seem to be happy with them. Sandy
is cursing herself but it's pretty rare that a team meeting ends without her
being angry at herself. Danneel seems to be pretty pleased as well. Jared
mostly feels relieved. He does wonder if he'll need Danneel to bitch him out at
every meeting but that might end up being a price he's willing to pay. He
follows Danneel out of the classroom, planning to hitch a ride with her.
"Hey, Jared. Wait up." Jensen comes running after him. Jared stops and Danneel
does as well. There's a look in her eyes he doesn't appreciate so he shoots her
a glare before turning to Jensen.
"I was thinking, since Alexis put me in charge of monitoring your knowledge of
current events and recent history, we should talk. Have you got time right
now?"
Jared is sure his heart has stopped beating.
"I… I was going to get a ride with Danneel," he stammers.
"Oh, I can give you a ride," says Jensen.
"That's great," Danneel says before Jared can even open his mouth to protest.
"I have to go visit my grandmother and Jared's place would be a little bit out
of the way for me. See you tomorrow, Jay."
With that, she strides away and Jared is left gaping, like he's forgotten how
to work the muscles in his jaws.
"So," Jensen says tentatively, "I was thinking that we should take a bit of
time every week, either before a session or after it, to discuss current events
and such. I think that's the best way to keep up and have the names and quotes
and happenings fresh in your mind. I'm not talking about more than ten, maybe
fifteen minutes."
Jared hears what Jensen is saying and he nods. This would actually sound like a
pretty good plan - that is, if his heart wasn't doing a drum solo inside his
chest.
"So yeah, cool," Jared gets out. "How about that ride?"
Jensen's car is pretty much the ride one would expect from a poor college
student: a rusty sedan hanging together out of old habit.
During the short ride from school to Jared's house Jensen manages to tell him
that he's a junior in college and majoring in history with a minor in
journalism. It isn't so much this exact information that does it, but when
Jared stands in the driveway to his house, watching Jensen drive away, he
realizes that Jensen is dangerously close to the image Jared holds of the
perfect guy: handsome, intelligent and a nice person.
He better turn out to be straight so that Jared can stamp out that flame of
stubborn hope in his heart. If not, Jared is afraid that no one else will ever
compare.
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zqtrw]
They get down to the grind quickly after that and Jared is able to concentrate
most of the time. He takes extra care to be up to date on current events
because he earns Jensen's smile when he knows all about what was said on the
official visit of the Prime Minister of Pakistan to the US, or any other event
that is making the headlines.
Sandy becomes more serious about the competition every day and somehow manages
to get herself out of half her homework. There are speculations as to whether
she threatened Mr. Beaver the Spanish teacher bodily harm in order to do so
because Mr. B is notorious for making people cry over Spanish verbs.
Thankfully, they can depend on Danneel to hold it together. She breezes into
the classroom at every team meeting, winks at Jared and then tells a filthy
joke or two in order to lighten the atmosphere.
She even succeeds in making Alexis crack a smile and that's a huge feat since
Alexis is on the edge of a nervous breakdown most of the time. Not being on the
team and therefore not being able to control the answers directly has her
tearing at her cuticles so they bleed at every meeting and added to that is the
pressure of her college workload.
So there's no surprise when Jensen shows up with a paper bag for the first
match of the quiz bowl regionals. Alexis, fortunately, ends up not needing it
because Jared, Danneel and Sandy end up wiping the floor with the other team.
Their streak of luck doesn't break after that and they find themselves in the
semi-finals. It's one of those intense matches. The other team is ahead only by
ten points in the middle of the game and if Jared wasn't as focused as he is,
he'd realize that even Danneel has started to feel the pressure. The other team
is manned by the types everyone expects to see on a quiz bowl team, three boys
who are probably nicknamed Squint Prime, Squint Squared and Squint Cubed at
their school. Though Jared has never been one to take notice of stereotypes, he
clearly feels that the other team is judging them for not conforming to
tradition, what with having the girls on the team and all. It makes him more
determined to kick their collective asses.
Still, the bastards get yet another ten points ahead and the look on Sandy's
face suggests that she wants to make doilies out of their innards. Danneel is
very still and stiff beside him and he knows that means she's be down with the
doily making. Maybe that's why they ended up nailing the next couple of
questions.
So it all boils down to the last question as the two teams are tied.
"This European politician served almost continuously for twenty years in his
country's government, holding the position of Prime Minister twice. He was the
leader of the Christian Democratic party. He's most famous, though, for the
circumstances surrounding his death but he was kidnapped by the Red Brigades on
March 16th, 1978 and found murdered on May 9th, same year. For ten points, who
was this Italian politician?"
Jared's hearts hammers. He knows this; him and Jensen had been discussing it
just the other day. He hits the buzzer.
"Aldo Moro," he gasps and he sees the other team looking daggers at him.
Danneel is grabbing his forearm tightly and through a deafening roar in his
ears he hears someone shout that they have received ten points for this answer.
They are through to the finals.
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zp0rt]

There's no cause for celebration yet but there's a bit of breathing room before
the finals. Three weeks of breathing room and time to prepare. Alexis decides
that this means daily meetings though thankfully, she adds in a carrot.
"So it's my birthday next Friday," Alexis says, a couple of days after the
semi-finals. "I'm throwing a party and you guys are all invited."
The way she says it is like she's a nine year old who stands up in homeroom,
inviting her whole class and knowing that no one will show up.
"Cool," says Danneel, obviously aiming to calm Alexis down. "I'll come."
There isn't really a reason for Alexis to worry. They are all vying for a
party, though Rosey does decline the invitation.
"It's hard enough for me to know that my high school students are going to be
at a college party. I just pray you behave and don't forget that you have a
quiz bowl final in less than three weeks. And now I'm going to act like you are
all going to gather at Alexis' place and color in your coloring books."
"Aww, Rosey. Why must you disappoint us so?" Danneel pretends to cry a fake
tear and they all break out laughing.
Jared and Danneel are still laughing when they get outside.
"Hey, guys. What's so funny?" Chad is obviously waiting for them by his truck.
"Just Mr. Rosenbaum." Danneel says, like it's a joke Chad will never
understand.
"Oh." Chad looks a bit deflated and Jared isn't a big fan of Chad being
disappointed. Chad may not have a crush on Danneel but he definitely thinks
she's the coolest cat in town. Danneel unfortunately doesn't have the patience
that Jared has for Chad.
"Good news though, Alexis is throwing a party on Friday. You coming with me?"
"Oh, Jay. You're finally asking me out on a date?" Chad flutters his eyelashes
at him.
"Yeah, baby. What do you say?"
"Well, my social calendar is getting really full. Dude, there's a game on
Friday and I did hear about another party and I was going to ask you…" Chad
trails off and looks at Jared. "Is Jensen going to be at Alexis'?"
"I don't know." Jared's answer is hurried. Very hurried. Danneel and Chad both
smirk.
"I think I need to meet this guy properly. Give him the best friend seal of
approval and all. I'll be your chaperone." There's nothing much that Jared can
do but sigh.
They drop Danneel off and then Chad takes a detour.
"Where the fuck are you going?" Jared had been hoping to get home to do his
Calculus homework and finish his essay on Joyce's use of epiphany in A Portrait
of the Artist as a Young Man. It's turning into one of those essays that refuse
to be over and done with.
"Just… wanted to chat. I mean, I know you really like that Jensen guy and you
know, I wanted to help out."
"Chad, what the hell are you talking about?"
"I could be your wingman or ask him if he's gay, Jared, I know you like him.
More than you probably realize yourself."
Jared blinks. Chad is his best friend but he's never been this concerned about
Jared's love life.
"I don't think…"
"Jay. Sometimes you have to learn to go for things. You can't sit around
forever and just pine away. Don't start assuming that everyone is straight and
thank you'll never have a chance to date someone you like."
"Okay, has your basketball coach made you read The Secret fifty times or
something? Why are you preaching this go-get-'em attitude to me?"
"Hey, no need to get bitchy. I'm trying to be helpful."
Chad does have a point. Jared knows very well that Chad will never be less than
one hundred percent supportive of him and even though Chad sometimes doesn't
seem to be able to tie his own shoelaces, it doesn't mean that whatever he has
to say about Jared's life isn't true. Maybe he has to take charge and stop
being so cautious.
"So you honestly think I should make a move at the party?"
Chad nods and then adds, "Not like a full come on or anything but test the
ground. You still have to do the quiz bowl thing after the party so you can't
do anything too embarrassing, like jumping on him and kissing him or
something."
"God, Chad," mutters Jared. He's never kissed another boy before and he's
definitely not going to start by jumping the guy he really likes and kissing
him straight away.
"I've seen you drunk. You kind of say goodbye to your inhibitions when you get
a drop of alcohol in you."
"I'm not going to get drunk at the party. I mean, maybe a glass of punch to get
tipsy but not really drunk. Not with the quiz bowl finals coming up. And I
can't go home after the party dead drunk."
"Hey dude, stay at my place. We could go to that other party as well. Some guy
Charlie knows is throwing it. I think they work together at KFC. Only if you
want to though, or if all of Alexis' college buddies are like super-lame and
talk about politics and the best way to cook ramen."
He can't help but snort. It would be rather typical of Alexis to have a bunch
of friends who are even more serious than she is. Then again, he has known her
for years and knows that she acts that way because more than anything she wants
to be taken seriously, as if being a pretty girl somehow makes people think
she's a frivolous person. That is one of the reasons why he and Alexis never
clicked like he's done with his current teammates, or at least with Danneel. He
and Sandy complement each other very well on the team and sometimes it's like
they can read each other's minds but Sandy is an unbelievably single-minded
person. Outside of the quiz bowl team she doesn't have much time to socialize.
If Jared sees her in the hallway, she's normally either running to class or to
the library. She has her own spot there and woe to anyone else who dares to sit
there.
"So you think Alexis' party will be the poor college student's version of a
fine wine and cheese soirée?"
"You know it's going to be like that. You're going to get stuck in a
conversation with some kids who are going backpacking in Europe and all they'll
talk about are the cathedrals they are going to look at."
"I actually like that sort of thing, you know."
"I know, you huge nerd."
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zkydz]

At the Thursday meeting of the quiz bowl team Jensen and Jared have another
one-on-one session. After having gone through all the world leaders present at
a recent G8 meeting, Jensen stops questioning Jared to look at some papers.
"So you know a lot of Alexis' friends at the college. Do you all hang out or
something?"
Jensen looks up at Jared like he doesn't understand how some college kids might
have anything to do with Angela Merkel and Dmitry Medvedev.
"What do you mean?"
"I was just wondering about the people who might be coming to the party."
"I know Alexis mostly from quiz nights at the student union. We never even
shared a class. So I don't know who her friends are. I mean, the people I'll
know at the party are you and the girls."
Jared feels like he has a warm blanket wrapped around him. The way Jensen
emphasizes you has that effect.
"I've known Alexis for a couple of years and she's always been really serious,
you know what I mean?" Jared says as Jensen nods. "I always wondered how she'd
do socially at college. The quiz bowl team was all she really had when she went
here."
"I do know that the engineering majors stick closely together so we might be in
for a night full of jokes about bridge building and robots or something."
"Are there many history jokes at parties with history majors?"
"I actually have never been to a party with the other history majors. I stick
to the few friends I've made in classes and such but I don't like these forced
social gatherings. You know, just because you study the same thing or work at
the same place doesn't mean you have much in common with those people."
"But you must have partied some in high school?"
"No, I can't say I did. I really hated my high school and everyone there.
Totally different from yours or the little I know about your high school. Mine
was smaller, where everyone had their place in the social pyramid, whether they
liked their place or not. I was dying to rebel against it but I also didn't
want people to get some presumptions about me. I was never going to be someone
who was an open book with everything laid bare, I kind of just closed off
instead. It wasn't until I came here that I even opened up to myself - like,
admitting that I was gay."
And with that, Jared is sure his heart has just stopped beating. The shock must
read on his face because Jensen raises his eyebrows.
"You have a problem with that?" he asks, his voice full of surprise, like Jared
has just told him that he's an avid collector of rusty nails.
"I…" Jared's mouth is all dry, his brain has probably turned to molasses and
the words simply tumble out of his mouth without him even pausing for thought.
"I don't have a problem with that. I'm gay too."
As he says it, it's like he's a kid in the playground who is claiming his dad
is a cop too. Pathetic, even if it's true.
"Okay…" Jensen says, clearly unsure whether Jared's joking or not.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… it's true though." Jared looks at his book bag on
the floor and wonders how embarrassing it would be to face Jensen again after
bolting out of the classroom they are in compared to staying put and feeling so
mortified that he'd almost prefer to stand naked in front of the entire student
assembly.
"Seriously, it's okay." Jensen's voice sounds odd, like his throat suddenly got
a number too small. "You told your friends and your parents yet?"
"Chad and Danneel know and my parents kind of do too. I haven't come out to my
parents but I'm pretty sure they know. They get all up in arms about anything
that is even slightly homophobic. They gave a lecture to a friend of my little
sister who was complaining about her math homework and said it was so gay. But
I'm definitely not out to people in school. I'm pretty sure though that most of
them don't care but you never know. And maybe it's just me but I'm not sure I
want to spend my time at high school wearing some huge label." He actually has
to take a deep breath after that speech and Jensen is looking at him with
amusement.
"I get it, with not wanting the label." Jensen's smile is bright and Jared
feels a lot better. "I've got to get going but I'll see you at Alexis' party,
right?"
Jared nods, smiling so wide that he knows his dimples have to be highly
visible.
            [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zhyya]

There is literally no one there that Jared knows except for the hostess
herself. It's a party full of college kids making him feel stupidly young and
inadequate as he hangs out in a corner and watches the party. He hides behind
his cup of punch, glancing over the brim every time he takes a sip. The rest of
his friends who had also been invited to the party were all at the basketball
game but he had opted out because he had hoped that Jensen would be at the
party early and they could maybe hang out and talk.
Instead there is this obnoxious guy who Jared is sure is making fun of him.
"Gotta thank Alexis for inviting some high-school grade tender meat like your
ass here," the guy leers.
Jared doesn't dignify him with an answer and tries to shirk away, hoping that
his friends are going to show up soon. He knows that Chad wouldn't be there
right away because he has a game but where are Danneel and Sandy? They usually
show up early at parties. Most of all he wants Jensen to be there. Logically he
knows that Jensen isn't like the creeper who is still staring at him, not into
guys much younger than he is. Maybe Jensen will make an exception though. That
is, if he likes Jared.
So he goes for another cup of punch, fidgeting around the house and spending a
long time examining the grand bookcase in the hallway. Jared likes looking at
bookcases and the books in them but he's seen this particular bookcase many
times before. Mostly he feels it's the safest part of the house.
He's on his third cup of punch when his phone vibrates.
'WON THE GAME. CU IN 10' the text reads.
So at least Chad was going to show up and save him from his lonely misery.
"Hey, high school kid." The creepy guy is back. Jared discreetly tries to look
for some way to escape him but either he has to push past him or go hide in the
master bedroom. Perhaps Jared had been brought up too well, because both
options feel so rude that he can't even contemplate them.
"So are we going to go in there?" The guy asks and points at the door to the
bedroom. Pressing against the bookshelf, Jared shakes his head and wishes hard
that the guy would leave him alone.
"But I really want you," the guys says and moves closer to Jared. There's
nothing that Jared wants more than to push the guy away but he literally can't.
He can't put his arms up to push the guy away and he can't tell him to fuck
off. And the guy seems to take Jared's inaction as some sort of incentive to
lean forward and breathe into his ear, or pant, actually. Jared closes his
eyes, hoping that the guy will just get bored and go away.
"Hey, Jay!"
Looking up, Jared sees Chad down the hall and with him Danneel, Jensen and some
guy Jared has never seen before. He tries to get a better look at the newcomers
but the guy's mouth is on his ear and he can't help but shirk away just a
little.
"Hey, I thought we were going to have fun?"
"No," Jared whispers and looks back down the hallway for his friends. Chad is
the only one left, looking at him funny, like his mother did when he was little
and begged to play with the neighbor's big dog; a gray Neapolitan Mastiff named
Albert.
"Come on." The guy leans up against him more.
"Hey, dude, leave him alone. Jesus, didn't you hear him say no?" Chad pulls the
guy away, frowns at Jared and pushes the guy from him.
"Whoa, sorry that I touched your girlfriend, man." And with that he was gone.
"Jared, what the hell? Why were you allowing that dude to lick your ear or
whatever? You that drunk already?"
Jared blinks. The world has gotten slightly fuzzy around the edges but he's
probably not as drunk as Chad thinks he is.
"No," he says defensively.
"God, Jay." Chad throws up his hands in a mock surrender and Jared uses the
chance to change the subject.
"Did Jensen come with you and Danneel?"
"Yeah, he and his friend showed up at the game. Me and Danneel actually hitched
a ride with them 'cause I'm not planning on staying sober. Actually Jensen
asked about you, thought you would be at the game."
Wasn't that just typical? While he'd spent a very awkward time at the party,
the people he had wanted to hang out with and talk to had all been together at
Chad's basketball game.
"Hey, cheer up. We are here now. Let's get you some more punch and party."
Chad drags him to the living room. Jensen is there, standing in a corner with
this friend of his and they are whispering together, looking like they don't
want to be bothered. Jared sighs. His absence at the basketball game must have
made Jensen think he was avoiding him or thought he was above attending his
best friend's game.
"Here, have more punch and stop looking like I stole all your toys." Chad
obviously isn't in the mood to put up with Jared feeling sorry for himself.
"And go and talk to Jensen."
Jared takes the cup from Chad and looks back at Jensen who is still very cozy
with his friend in the corner. Maybe that's his boyfriend. Jensen never said
anything about being single. He doesn't want to walk up to Jensen right now and
be introduced to 'so-and-so, my boyfriend.'
"You missed a fucking exciting game," Danneel says, coming up to Jared and
swinging her arm around his shoulders. "Mr. Murray here scored ten points all
by himself."
Chad looks pretty smug with Danneel's compliment.
"Yeah, instead I hung around here with no one to talk to."
"Except that dude who was hitting on you when we came. He was kind of scuzzy.
Why didn't you tell him to go fuck himself?" Danneel clearly feels the same way
as Chad.
"I don't know. I mean, I did tell him no." It is uncomfortable talking about
this with Danneel and Chad. They have always been less concerned with other
people's feelings than Jared. He's always been very careful never to hurt
anyone else's feelings if he can help it.
"Oh, Jared." Danneel slaps him on the face and lets him go.
"Hey." Alexis slides up next to Chad. "What are you talking about? Chad, how
did your game go?"
Of course. Now is the time Alexis finally dignifies them with her presence,
rather than when Jared was alone, not knowing anyone else.
"We won," Chad says grinning. Alexis beams at him.
"Awesome. I wish I could have been there."
Jared suppresses the urge to snort. Alexis never went to games when she
actually attended the school.
"You'll just have to come to the next game. That's the one that determines
whether we are on our way to the state championships or not."
"Totally." The fake tone in Alexis' voice is jarring and Jared can only hope
that Chad hears it as well.
"I'd pay to see that," Danneel murmurs but so only Jared hears her.
The subject changes and Alexis drifts away to talk to some of her other guests.
Jared glances back at Jensen who is still deep in conversation with his friend,
boyfriend, whatever. He's finished the cup of punch he had and he needs another
one, even though it's either his fifth or his sixth. Who is counting anyway?
It's making everything fuzzy and his tongue has become numb and that is just
fine, just like it should be.
"So, is it time for me to be your wingman?" Chad looks up at him and then nods
in the direction of Jensen.
"I don't know. I mean, who is this guy with him?"
"Just his friend, I think. He just introduced him as Jason, didn't say whether
he was his friend, his cousin, his great-grandmother or his personal
astrologer."
"Very funny, Chad. But I don't know…"
"Suit yourself. I mean, I'd even take one for the team and distract that Jason
dude for you."
Jared smiles. Chad definitely has his heart in the right place, though his mind
might have lost its direction along the way.
"But dude, if you aren't going to even talk to Jensen, then what the hell are
we hanging here for? The only cute girls here are Danneel and Alexis and they
are Danneel and Alexis…"
"Right now?"
"Dude, it's almost midnight."
Jared has been there for four hours and he still feels awkward and strange,
even if his friends are there.
"I suppose we can go," Jared says reluctantly to Chad, taking one last look at
Jensen in the corner with Jason who is probably not his cousin and not his
personal astrologer.
***** Intelligence Quota *****
Intelligence Quota - Part 2
Maybe the rum from Chad's flask had been overkill but Jared is still lucid
enough when they enter the party at Charlie's friend's house. He follows Chad
inside and they hang out where living room meets the hallway, surveying the
crowd. The place is absolutely packed. There are some kids there they know from
school but mostly it's a peculiar mix of people, both young and old.
It's getting late, Jared notes, or maybe it's getting early. His head is too
fuzzy to be clear on the semantics. All he knows is that if he hadn't told his
parents he'd be staying at Chad's, his ass would be so grounded. It feels nice
to be this numbed by the alcohol, smiling stupidly at the strangers around him
at the party and not feeling as awkward as he'd felt at Alexis' party. Everyone
is a stranger here and everyone is your friend. It's probably from this kind of
atmosphere that peace movements and love-ins are born - if they were still
stuck in the sixties. Maybe it's a little bit more sinister now but Jared
doesn't care and the people who probably know he's too young to be out so late,
so drunk, don't care either. They are even leering at him and still he keeps up
his idiotic grin.
Chad is chatting with a couple of women. Jared suspects that they are closer to
their mothers' age than their own but if Chad's interested in them, then more
power to him. One of them hands him a shot glass as he walks up to them and
then remarks on his height. He downs the shot which turns out to be
Jägermeister and he's unable to fight the grimace on his face as he puts the
glass away. The women laugh. Initially he thinks they are mocking them but then
they start proclaiming that they've had a run-in with the law for their
previous relations with underage boys. Chad looks at Jared in horror and they
all but run to the other end of the dance floor. The women might have been
playing a joke on them but neither of them has the desire to be roofied by some
wannabe cougar.
As they are trying their best to hide on the other side of the living room,
terrified that the pleasant drunken state they'd been experiencing is swiftly
vanishing and some sobering helplessness creeping upon them, a girl wanders
over to them. She's obviously older than them – Jared thinks she might be the
same age as Jeff. She's short and chubby, with a pretty face and she seems
determined to catch Chad's attention. Since Chad is relatively easy and
probably happy he's met someone his side of thirty at the party, he's suddenly
making out with the girl in a nearby sofa with the girl straddling Chad.
Jared blinks. He'd been standing right there. How had they gone from just
standing there to Chad getting close to third base with the girl in what seemed
merely seconds? He clearly is drunker than he'd thought. Not knowing whether to
save Chad or not, he wanders around the living room and out into the hallway
and into the kitchen, glancing at Chad every time he enters the living room
again. At his sixth check, he doesn't catch a glimpse of Chad with his hand up
the girl's skirt. Instead there's this guy staring at him and he has these
intense looking brown eyes. It's like he's totally caught in his gaze and he
doesn't notice him coming closer until the guy is almost in his face, well, at
his chest, because he's almost a head taller than the guy. That doesn't matter
to his alcohol-logged brain; Chad is getting off with some chick and why
shouldn't he get off with random hot guys? The thought has hardly formed in his
head when he's pulled down, his lips meeting other lips.
He finds himself backed against the wall and the other guy is kissing him,
tongue and all. Leaning on the wall he bends his knees a little and the guy
pushes his thigh between his legs, almost pressing on his crotch.
Jared feels the guy's half-hard cock rub against his hip and somehow the idea
he's obliged to do something about that pops up in his mind. While sucking on
the guy's tongue he skates his right hand down the guy's sides, hiking up his
shirt a little, feeling the hot skin underneath and running his fingers over
his stomach. For some reason, he starts thinking of Jensen and feels like he's
betraying him, like he's cheating on him. It's a strange feeling and his hearts
hammers in his chest and even though the guy he's kissing is a pretty good
kisser, Jared almost wants to push him away. Which would make him a huge cock
tease and he really doesn't want to be one. Maybe he can just jerk the guy off
right there and then never have to see him again. It seems like a good idea as
he pushes his hand down the front of the guy's pants and the guy seems to like
it, he shifts so Jared can better maneuver his hand. It's still an awkward
angle and he doesn't get a good grip so it's more like the guy's humping his
hand. So it wasn't a good idea after all. He pulls away from their kiss and the
guy starts to lick his throat, which feels odd. Scanning the crowd Jared looks
for Chad, hoping maybe he's done with the girl and might help him in some way.
Chad's leaving and he's leading the girl. So Jared isn't going to get to crash
at his place. That's just great. Chad just smiles and gives him the thumbs up.
Jared's stuck there now and his wrist is really starting to ache. Pulling his
hand away, he looks at the guy who smiles and mouths something. The din of the
music and the people at the party is too loud for Jared to hear so he leans
closer to the guy to try to catch what he's saying.
"Wanna come home with me?"
There's a tiny voice in the back of his head telling him that going with the
guy is a monumentally stupid idea and he will come to regret it. A bigger part
of him wants to see where it leads and besides, if Chad is taking the girl
home, he doesn't have a place to crash and there's no chance in hell he's going
home in the state he is in.
He doesn't answer the guy, not verbally at least, just takes his hand and
allows him to lead him outside. Everything is bathed in that gray light that
precedes sunrise and there's a chill to the air. Jared pulls closer to the guy
and it's only then he realizes that he doesn't know his name.
"What's your name?" He asks and winces at how childlike his voice sounds
outside in the cold air.
The guy turns to him and looks up at him curiously like he wasn't expecting
that question.
"Keith. So, what's yours?"
As they make their way through the almost deserted streets they fall into
making small talk. Keith is few years older than Jared, old enough to be just
out of college and starting his new job. A freaking grown-up really, but he
doesn't seem too bothered with Jared being underage.
Keith's place isn't far off and Jared is almost relieved as he isn't sure he'd
handle sobering up more than he already has before going to bed with Keith.
Once they're inside, Keith doesn't appear to be one for ceremony and starts
undressing. Jared follows suit and soon Keith is pulling him naked onto his
bed.
They meet in a kiss, their lips crushing, but Jared feels like he should do
something other than move his hands down Keith's torso so he straddles him and
starts licking at his neck, down his chest, gently grazing the skin with his
teeth. He isn't taking it slow, moving down Keith's body with almost maddening
speed, not wanting to stop and think. So without thought, he takes Keith's
almost flaccid dick in his hand, stroking it before touching the tip with his
tongue. It tastes salty and bitter, slightly unpleasant but not so bad that he
can't suck the cock into his mouth. It takes a bit of effort to keep his teeth
out of the way, his lips pushing out instead of curling over the teeth. Then it
hits the back of his throat and he inhales. He feels his throat spasm and he
gags, feeling like an absolute idiot. Keith doesn't seem to think much of it,
his head is thrown back as he rests on his elbows. So Jared braves taking him
in his mouth again, keeping his hand wrapped around the base. He wants to get
Keith off, he wants to know how it is to have someone else come because of
something you did to them but it is taking a lot longer than he anticipated.
It's not only his hand that is cramping; it's hard to kneel on the bed like
he's been doing for this long and his mouth strangely is both numb and aching
at the same time.
When Keith finally comes, Jared jerks his head automatically and only a tiny
drop of Keith's release catches his lips, the rest ends up leaking down over
his hand.
Jared raises himself up, sitting on his heels and feeling utterly unsure about
what to do next. Keith seems to be a bit out of it, lying back with his arm
raised over his head. As Jared starts to wonder if he should just get up and
get dressed, Keith seems to come to and grabs him and pulls him down for a
kiss. Perhaps it shouldn't be called a kiss, as they are rubbing their tongues
together, their mouths open. It's something so obscene about it, some so dirty
that Jared can't help but feel aroused. His dick is somewhere between half-hard
and soft and it's definitely growing more interested. If he didn't have all
this alcohol pumping through his veins, he'd be at full mast already. Keith
appears to have some incredible recovery time as he's stroking his cock and
it's almost hard again.
When they break the kiss, Jared feels the saliva all over his lips and kind of
wants to wipe it off like a kid wipes off a kiss from an old aunt. He resists
though as Keith is moving them around in the bed, pushing him higher in the
bed, so he's kneeling on all fours. Not wanting to think about where this could
be leading, he drops his head. Keith isn't much for touching him. Quickly he
settles his hands on Jared's buttocks and pulls the cheeks apart. Jared doesn't
know what to expect, perhaps spit-wet fingers pushing into him but then he has
to fight back a yelp when he feels Keith's tongue on his opening. He wasn't
born yesterday, he knows about rimming but he had always felt it had to be this
intimate act between long-time lovers, not something you did with a guy you
just picked up at a party. It feels weird and Jared knows he's tensing up,
making it harder for Keith to push in but apparently he's not going to give up;
he ends up somehow opening Jared up slightly with his tongue and one finger. It
doesn't feel particularly good but not bad enough that Jared feels the need to
ask him to stop. This goes on and Jared is kind of getting bored. Actually it
feels like more he's a casual observer, like Keith isn't doing it to his body
but to someone else's.
This view of his changes suddenly when he feels Keith raise himself up behind
him and he feels something blunt and a lot broader than the fingers in the
cleft of his ass. A part of him wants to cry no, no, no. But he doesn't get the
words out, maybe because a bigger part of him wants to know how penetration
actually feels. When it's a dick and not fingers, not his fingers or Keith's.
The pressure feels strange, like his nerves are acting like transmitters,
leading the sensation out into his body; this strange feeling of pressure and
then pain that he feels almost up into his throat. And it grows and grows as
Keith penetrates further. This has to end up feeling fucking fantastic at some
point or on a subsequent try because who would want to do this if it felt like
this all the time? He can't keep in the groans but they sound half strangled
like he doesn't have any air in his lungs anymore.
His arms are beginning to shake and Jared tries his hardest to control the
tremors, he doesn't really think much about whether Keith is getting off or
not. He feels the stabbing, shallow thrusts and hears his grunts. There is a
certain tinge of frustration to his grunts but he doesn't relent right away.
The same feeling washes over Jared again, like he's waiting for a boring class
to be over and the time just drags on and on.
Keith gives up. On the assfucking that is. As he moves away, Jared allows
himself to drop down, hoping that it's over. He's been sobering up so fast that
his head is spinning and he wants to go to sleep or even have a shower, but
Keith is crawling up the bed in front of him, pushing his dick in his face.
Jared's jaws are still aching from last time but he still opens his mouth to
take Keith in. He is so tired and is longing so much for this all to be over
that he grabs the length of the cock a little too hard and Keith gasps in pain,
causing him to let go right away. Lifting his head, he looks up at Keith,
wondering if he should dare to ask him to call it quits. But Keith pushes his
dick in his face again and resting on his hands, Jared takes him again into his
mouth. The pain in his jaws starts spreading over his face, his cheeks ache and
he feels his breathing becoming even more labored. He wonders if Keith notices,
if he thinks he's into it or something. Time begins to drag again and all he
ends up feeling is the ache in his face and his arms that have begun straining
under his weight. If only he knew how to stop in a polite way. After all, he
had initiated the whole thing. Not the kiss but he could have broken that off.
It was him who had reached down Keith's pants.
If Keith would just come already. Maybe he is just that bad, his blowjob
technique that awful.
Lifting his head, slipping Keith's cock out of his mouth, Jared takes deep
breath. His whole face smarts and he barely manages to catch himself before he
falls completely down onto the mattress, completely drained.
And finally Keith catches on. Raising himself a bit up, he grabs his own dick
and starts jerking off with fast strokes. Jared is so exhausted that he is able
to keep the feeling of failure at bay. With great effort, he holds his head up,
thinking about how these things always end up with money shot in porn.
It comes, the money shot that is. Not like in porn where it's usually great
globs of come all over. Instead Jared feels slight wetness on his chin and
nose. Reaching with his fingers, he wipes it off and then licks it off. Truth
be told, he thinks his own come tastes better but then again he's pretty sure
Keith smokes and he has read somewhere that makes ejaculate taste even
bitterer. Not that he's going to tell him that.
He crawls up the bed and flops down besides Keith who apparently is feeling
cuddly, pulling Jared towards him and throwing his arm around him. It feels
strange that Keith is suddenly so attentive, seeing how he seemed to only care
about his own release. Jared knows girls complain about this a lot but he'd
believed that with two guys, there would be more familiarity with the plumbing
so to speak. Not that he's dying to come or anything; he wants to sleep. Maybe
shower first and then sleep for about a hundred years or so. There's no alcohol
buzz lingering and he's probably going to wake up aching all over.
His eyelids flutter closed and his grasp on consciousness is slipping.
Keith doesn't seem to want him to sleep. He is pulling his face up for a kiss
and Jared can't do it anymore. He turns his head away and pushes away from
Keith. His guts are starting to twist with emotion and he wants away.
Getting up, he scrambles for his clothes, finding most of them in a heap on the
floor next to the bed. He jumps around, trying to put them on, wanting to get
away as fast as he can.
"Hey, slow down. No need to hurry, it's hardly morning yet."
Jared looks at Keith, wondering whether to admit to him that he feels that the
whole thing was a huge mistake and at that moment he can't think of anything he
regrets doing more. But he doesn't tell him. He simply squeezes his feet into
his shoes and pats his pockets to see if he's got his belongings with him.
And then he leaves.
Thankfully Keith's place isn't that far from Chad's house. Jared reckons it
would take him about twenty minutes to walk there, so he runs and makes it in
ten. His body doesn't really have the energy for it but he pushes. His thighs
ache and he wants to scream with the effort. But he also doesn't want to wake
up the people in the houses that line the streets he runs, like he's a crazy
morning jogger who forgot to put on a t-shirt and sweatpants.
His breath is short and he doubles over in effort to breathe deeper. Looking up
at Chad's window, he doesn't see a light. Maybe he went home with the girl,
maybe he's asleep but Jared needs to get inside. He's not going home in the
state he's in.
Chad answers his cell almost immediately.
"Chad, you at your house?"
"Course I am. I thought … I'm coming to let you in."
Chad doesn't say anything when he lets Jared in, just gives him a sweeping look
and frowns. Jared looks at his friend and wonders if he thinks he's a total
idiot.
When they come up to Chad's room, Jared looks at Chad's en suite bathroom. He's
bone tired and wants most of all to sleep for at least a century but he feels
dirty and disgusting.
"Can I take a shower?"
Chad simply nods.
It's in the shower Jared tries to assess what the hell he'd been doing.
Touching his body, he thinks about Keith's hands, mouth and dick. He hadn't
said no, he had allowed Keith to touch him, to fuck him. He'd even given him a
blowjob and yet the regret is burning a hole in his stomach and the tears are
starting to sting his eyes.
Stepping out of the shower he haphazardly dries himself off with a towel he
presumes is clean and grabs sweatpants he knows Chad won't mind lending him.
"So you went home with that guy?"
Chad is waiting for him, sitting on his bed with his legs crossed like he's
waiting for a good explanation. Jared turns to him and then away to drag forth
Chad's sleeping bag from his closet. He's used that sleeping bag countless of
times when he's stayed over at Chad's and it fills him with comfort to have
something so familiar and something so connected to him being just a kid, an
innocent freaking kid who doesn't make monumentally bad decisions.
"What do you think?" Jared says as he rolls out the sleeping bag.
"I was just asking … Jay, did something happen?"
"Why do you think that?" He says, the words rushing out of his mouth.
"Jay …"
"OK, stuff happened. I lost my freaking virginity to a guy I'd only know for a
couple of hours tops. Just my finest hour really." Jared grabs a large pillow
from Chad's bed and throws it to the floor.
Chad is silent and Jared can't stand the way he's looking at him.
"What about you? What about that girl?" Jared asks, hoping to shift Chad's
attention.
"She just went to her place, I suppose. I kind of have the feeling she realized
just how young I was when we went outside. But Jay … you sure you're okay?"
He doesn't lie to Chad. He's never lied to Chad and there's no reason to start
now since Chad has never judged him – not ever.
"I don't know. I just … didn't expect to be like this."
"What, over too fast or something?"
"Oh, lord no. Chad, it was like it took forever. I mean, for him to get off.
First I blew him and it was so hard … I …" Jared falters, wondering how much
detail Chad can handle. He wants to tell him everything, he wants to tell
someone.
Chad seems to sense there's something more and keeps silent.
"So yeah, he comes and is almost ready to start again right away and he … he
tries to fuck me." Jared chokes on the words, it feels stupid to use that word,
fuck, about himself. "It's like … 'cause I've never … and it's tight and it
hurts and he can't really get it in … you know what I mean. But he keeps going
for the longest time … and then he stops … and Chad, I don't know why … I blew
him again. After he'd been in my ass. I just … so fucking stupid … god, no
condom." He hides his face in his hands. He is fucking stupid, colossally
moronic.
Lying on the sleeping bag he turns away from Chad. He can't fight the tears,
he's too exhausted. The sobs he does try to fight but when he feels Chad's hand
on his shoulder, he lets go.
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There's a quiz bowl team meeting on a Sunday, because the final is looming on
the horizon and they need to be prepared.
Prepared isn't what Jared's feeling right now. He feels achy, his head throbs
despite the Tylenol Chad gave him and most of all, he just wants to die. His
chest literally hurts with his disappointment in himself. He definitely doesn't
want to see the other quiz bowl kids. Not Sandy who seemed to have the good
sense to stay the hell away from Alexis' party. Not Alexis herself; he's still
feeling a bitter towards her and how she mostly ignored him all night at the
party. Not Danneel, though he does have the urge to tell Danneel what happened.
And least of all does he want to see Jensen and be reminded that he probably
blew every chance he'd ever had with Jensen by being too chicken-shit to even
talk to him at Alexis' party and then of course by having a stupid one night
stand.
Yes, he wants to die.
He walks to the school, hoping that some fresh air would make him feel at least
physically better.
Big, fat fucking chance.
He has to sit down like an old man with a hemorrhoid and Danneel looks at him
like she can't decide whether to laugh at him or go get him a cushion.
The meeting itself goes pretty well. Alexis obviously wants to keep it short
and Jared is betting that she's almost as hung over as he is. Apparently he's
not bad at answering questions and being his walking encyclopedia self even
though his brain is trying its best to divorce his skull and every muscle in
his body is protesting loudly.
To his massive relief, Jensen doesn't show up. He's nauseated as it is and
having Jensen there would probably make it feel worse.
When they finally escape the meeting, Danneel practically drags him into her
car.
"Jared Tristan Padalecki, please don't tell me that you are coming down with
the flu so close to the final. Please tell me that you are simply hung over."
He looks at her, not knowing what expression he's giving her but the look on
her face changes from annoyed and concerned to something that could only be
called compassion.
"Oh, sweetie. What happened? What did you and Chad do after you left Alexis'
place?"
Knowing that he could trust Danneel and considering how miserable he is still
feeling, he starts telling her what happened.
She listens solemnly, very much like Chad and doesn't inject anything until she
senses he's said what he wanted to say. He shifts in the passenger sheet,
trying to find a comfortable position and trying to stifle the sobs he's about
to burst into.
Without speaking a word, Danneel pulls him into a hug, her hands stroking his
back and he can't help but burrowing his face in her hair, unable to stifle his
tears.
What he's really crying about, he still doesn't understand, but he's glad that
neither Chad nor Danneel want to press him for any more details. He's getting
snot and tears all over Danneel's shirt but she simply takes it in stride and
he can hear her murmuring almost inaudibly that things will be okay. That's
something he knows; sleeping with someone you don't know all that well isn't
going to end the world. It may very well be the single most stupid thing he's
ever done but it's over and done with now and he can't take it back.
"You okay?" Danneel asks him when he's finally stopped.
"For now," he says, trying to wipe away the wet spots on Danneel's shoulder.
"Leave it. I'm gonna take you home now and you are going to go to bed. I'm not
promising that this will be all better tomorrow but at least you won't be hung
over then."
"Yeah. Danny, did Jensen leave with that guy he came with?"
"Jason? Yes, but I actually think he's Jensen's roommate so that's nothing
weird." She winks at Jared and he can't help but laughing.
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Then the quiz bowl final is upon them and Jared puts what happened with Keith
into the back of his mind and concentrates on having all the facts figured out.
Jensen is very impressed with him at their last one-on-one meeting for the
final when Jared manages to name all the presidents and the vice-presidents of
the USA without ever hesitating.
"You've got this down to an art," he remarks and Jared can't deny that his
heart jumps just a tiny bit at that remark.
When it's finally the time for the final itself, Jared feels the exactly right
amount of tension and Danneel seems to be in the same place. Sandy is ultra
focused as always. For the first half of the competition everything is looking
up for them. The other team is good and no one can really claim to have the
lead at this point. But Lady Luck is a flighty mistress and at the second to
last question, the tide turns.
"Thanks to information theory and Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, the
possibility of its existence was disproven in the 20th century. What controls a
trap door that opens for fast molecules from one side and slow molecules from
the other? This imaginary creature was dreamed up to question the Second Law of
Thermodynamics. Name this diabolical entropy-increasing entity imagined by the
same person who unified theories of electromagnetism."
Jared and Sandy look at Danneel who is in charge of the chemistry and physics
knowledge. Judging by the look in her eyes, she isn't sure. Jared feels he
should know this as well but somehow all his science knowledge has been
channeled away.
And the other team gets the buzzer and gives the answer which is Maxwell's
Demon. It's like the lights go out in Danneel's eyes. If they get the next
question, they'll tie.
Maybe because of Danneel freezing up and maybe because he couldn't handle the
pressure of being in the quiz bowl finals, Jared doesn't realize that the last
question is being read until he hears the last words of it.
"…by this author who also wrote Foucault's Pendulum."
He panics. Are they asking for the author or for another book title? Danneel
looks at him and so does Sandy. Actually Sandy seems more like she's trying to
extract the answer from him with some kind of mind reading as she's probably
assuming that the same brain freezing that was affecting Danneel is affecting
Jared.
The other team hits the buzzer and of course they were asking for a title, Name
of the Rose. Jared can't help but groan. It's one of his favorite books, maybe
because it took him about a month to get through it.
Fuck, they've lost. Sandy's determined face crumbles into dismay, Danneel
mutters a curse word under her breath and Jared can't help but feel that this
is all his fault. Only if he'd done a little bit better and focused more.
Alexis, Mr. Rosenbaum and Jensen are also rather forlorn when the team comes
off the stage.
"This could have gone better," Alexis says, trying to look stern but her
disappointment is discernible.
"What happened with you, Danny?" Jensen asks softly and Danneel just shrugs in
surrender.
"Sometimes you can't bring it," Jared says and Jensen nods.
They all stand there silently for a minute or two while the other team and
their entourage skip off singing their school anthem.
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Life miraculously returns to normal.
Sure, their schoolmates are a little disappointed that they should lose the
final but that's all forgotten the next week when the basketball team loses the
chance to get to the state championships.
Somehow that's a bigger blow to the student population than a few nerds not
knowing the answer to some questions in a quiz bowl showdown no one attended
any way.
Not that Jared takes much notice. The teachers had apparently been sparing him
homework before and now they are piling it on. A presentation and yet another
essay from A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Jared is certain he must
have done something terrible to James Joyce in his former life when he writes
about the symbolic meaning behind Stephen Dedalus's name.
Then the summer holidays are upon them and Jared has many weeks of no school
ahead of him.
Thankfully he manages to procure himself a summer job. Last summer he didn't
have a job and besides the lack of money, it was really boring to hang around
all day and having to make your own fun. It's fun for a couple of weeks but not
the entire summer holidays. Not when your parents have to work and all you have
for company is your kid sister. Jared loves Megan dearly but knows that another
summer like that might've put a damper on his affections.
So instead he is employed by Erasmus's Necessities, an independent bookstore
that supplies college students and the anti-establishment types. This college
town has more than enough of those and amongst them is Misha, one of Jared's
co-workers.
Jared doesn't have a crush on Misha. It's more like he thinks Misha is the
coolest guy ever to walk the planet. He is definitely the guy Jared wants to be
when he gets into his twenties. Got his college degree early and then spent a
few years globe-trotting and obviously learning few things on the way.
Like Tibetan throat singing and the Faroese language.
He even has the habit of greeting costumers in Faroese. "Góðan dag. Hvussu
gongur?" When you are the store manager, you can obviously allow yourself to be
quite silly to the customers.
All in all, Jared really likes his job. Sometimes it's crazy hectic and he has
to run around the entire day looking for copies of The Last Unicorn when he's
not recommending Kierkegaard to someone who wants to read something that makes
them think.
Other days can be so slow that all they can to do, to kill time, is to take
stock and tidy the store up.
And somewhere between the self-help section and the travel guides, Jared
becomes friends with Misha.
"Hand me all the Canada books," Misha prompts when they are dusting the shelves
in the travelling section on a very slow day. "Say, tell me something
interesting. What does Jared Padalecki like to do? Besides the whole trivia
buff thing, I mean."
"Just stuff." Jared shrugs and almost drops a book about Ontario on the floor.
"Please, feel free to elaborate on this 'just stuff'. Does it involve something
scandalous like writing dirty emails to the heads of state in small European
countries or do you use your powers for good and help run a shelter for blind
sea monkeys?"
"Oh, we can't all be as exciting as you, Misha."
"Any torrid affairs in your past? You secretly someone's trophy wife? You had a
drunken one night stand and woke up next to your school's mascot?" Despite the
jest in Misha's voice and the light tone of their conversation, Jared clearly
isn't completely over what happened after Alexis' birthday party and the
mention of a drunken one night stand is enough to invoke that memory. Misha
doesn't miss the slight wince Jared does.
"Anything you want to tell me? I'm curious but if you don't want to talk about
it, we don't have to talk about it." The tone in Misha's voice makes Jared want
to tell him – there's concern and understanding and Jared knows that Misha
won't judge him.
"That's okay. I had just had a very stupid drunken one night stand not so long
ago. I'm mostly over it though."
"Oh. Aren't you seventeen? That's kind of young to be having stupid drunken one
night stands."
"Seventeen next month actually."
"Oh, kid," Misha says softly.
"You don't have to be sorry for me."
"That wasn't convincing."
"Okay, I wasn't ready for it at all and I kind of did it because I was drunk
and stupid and a little heartbroken. And the sex itself was awful." Jared isn't
quite sure why he's feeling like sharing and hides his face behind 100 Exciting
Hiking Trails in Alberta. "I think I went against everything everyone tells you
your first time should be like. An unprotected drunken one night stand with a
complete stranger. What, that ticks about four don'ts, doesn't it?"
"We all do things we shouldn't do," Misha says as he leans against the shelves.
"Stop beating yourself up."
"You know, I think I'm most angry at myself for allowing it to go as far as it
went. It could have been a drunken make-out and a bad hand job at the most. I
just didn't want to be a cock tease."
Misha doesn't seem to be thrown off at all, knowing that Jared had his one
night stand with another guy. He merely quirks his eyebrows and looks Jared
straight in the eyes.
"You are sixteen. You are supposed to be a cock tease. You are supposed to say
enough when you think it's enough. Please never think that you owe someone
something in bed because you flirted with them, kissed them, got a hand job
from them…"
"No, I gave him a hand job," Jared hastens to say, like he feels that Misha
must not get the wrong impression.
"Kid, seriously. You control your own body. Sure, sex is kind of a mutual thing
where people try to pleasure each other but it's not like every orgasm comes
with an IOU."
Jared looks back down on 100 Exciting Hiking Trails in Alberta. He knows all
this – it's another matter whether or not he believes it.
"Yeah," he sighs. "I suppose you are right."
Misha slaps him on the back and tells him that he must go and alphabetize the
Europe section – preferably by their official titles in the native languages.
"Let them know it's called Magyar Köztársaság."
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In the summertime all of his friends scatter like cockroaches when you turn on
the light. Danneel goes away for couple of weeks to Mexico with her family and
Chad goes off to some kind of basketball camp. Jared finds himself almost left
alone because he isn't going anywhere during the summer. He does learn that he
isn't completely alone when Jensen calls him up one night, mostly just to chat.
Jensen has a summer job as well, at the local paper. He bitches to Jared about
doing pieces about the local craft fair and the new recycling plan that the
city council is installing.
"I know it's a great experience and there's only a slim chance I'll ever become
a journalist at a major paper but why did they make me write about The Summer
Delight Perfect Garden Competition? I think I've learned more about geraniums
in the last two days than I ever wanted to know about anything."
"Hey, at least you'll appreciate it more when you get to cover the more
exciting stuff, like a bocce tournament or something."
"Hilarious, Jared, you slay me. I thought you'd be sympathetic. Is there no one
who understands my plight? Jason told me earlier as he was going out with his
girlfriend that I should be glad my job is at least related to what I'm
studying. 'Cause he and his girlfriend are music majors and they are both
working at the golf club."
He can't help it. As soon as Jensen mentions that Jason has a girlfriend, he
does a little fist bump into the air. Not that Jason having a girlfriend makes
it any more likely that Jensen will fall for him but it does kindle a spark of
hope.
"You can complain all you want to me. I work in retail now, I'm used to it.
Just today a customer, a fifty year old man, asked why we didn't display the
Twilight books more prominently. Your complaints can't be more stupid than
that."
"Please tell me you said something snarky. Seriously, did the guy really think
a store called Erasmus's Necessities would actually flaunt the fact that you
can buy shitty books about sparkly vampires there?"
"You actually think people get the name of the store?"
"No, perhaps not."
They continue their phone conversations over the next weeks. Jared who normally
isn't very quick to answer his phone has started to knock things down in his
haste to get to his phone when it rings, so whenever it's Chad or his mom
calling, he gets a tiny bit disappointed.
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It's July before he knows it and Chad is back from the basketball camp and has
started dropping hints that Jared should celebrate his birthday in style.
"I don't have my birthday until August and we need a party now, not after a
billion weeks. It doesn't have to be big. Just get your geek squad and that
dude you are working with and can't shut up about. Dude, if I didn't know you
were still all in love and shit with Jensen, I would be so sure you had your
next big gay crush."
Jared laughs. He has the feeling that Chad might be jealous because he's been
talking so much about Misha.
Throwing a party isn't going to a problem, not when his parents have already
suggested he should bring his friends over for his birthday. He's sure that the
difference between him and Jeff sometimes throws them off. Before Jeff went off
to college, his huge horde of friends drifted through the house on a regular
basis and Jared is certain his parents think he's lonely, despite all the time
he has spent on the quiz bowl team, with Chad, and everyone else.
So getting their consent for a party was the easy thing. They even plan to be
away for the duration of the night.
Inviting people isn't a big deal either, except Jared seems to be unable to
extend an invitation to Jensen.
They've been calling each other once a week or so, sharing stories about their
jobs and such and it shouldn't be an impassable obstacle for Jared to pick up
the phone and invite Jensen. All he can see in his mind's eye is some kind of a
nightmare scenario where Jensen laughs derisively at him when Jared invites him
and tells him there's no way in hell he'd ever show up at some pathetic high
school party. Logically he knows that Jensen would probably be super nice if he
had to turn down the invitation but logic isn't enough at the moment.
When he finally bites the bullet and calls Jensen, he can hardly hear Jensen's
greeting for the thundering in his ears.
"Jay, was about to call you. They finally gave me something with substance to
write about. Local history, murder mystery, family tragedy, the works, mostly
because there aren't more garden shows to write about and they had to have me
do something. Of course that means I've been spending the last couple of days
at the city archives with old court documents. So please tell me something fun
that doesn't involve a coroner's report." Jensen sounds a bit like he hasn't
had the pleasure of talking to another human being for a long time.
"I... I'm going to throw a birthday party and I was wondering whether you
wanted to come. You don't have to. It's not a big deal or anything, not a
billion people you've never met. Chad, Danneel, maybe Sandy if she isn't busy
and Alexis and maybe my brother and a few other friends." He rushes everything
out and waits for Jensen's answer.
"Oh cool, when is your birthday?"
"On the 19th but the party will be on Saturday."
"I'm there. Believe me. Anything I should bring? Need someone to visit the
liquor store for you?"
"Great. I do think we have the booze covered. There isn't going to be a lot of
it. My parents are nice enough to allow the party and I don't want anything to
get out of hand."
"I'll help you. I'll control Sandy. You take the rest." He could hear the
laughter in Jensen's voice.
"You are kind of a jerk, did you know that?"
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Jared tries his best to fight the nerves. He shouldn't be nervous – there are
just few of his good friends coming over but he feels he must give a good
impression, like he's a corporate hot shot who needs to suck up to his bosses
in hopes of getting a promotion.
Uncharacteristically Chad is the first one to arrive and he takes one look at
Jared's face and bursts out laughing.
"Dude, this is a party, not your funeral. Lighten up and tell me where you are
keeping the snacks. I'm starving."
Chad plants himself on the living room couch with his feet on the coffee table
and a bag of Doritos.
"Where's the party music? I need to get my swerve on here."
"While sitting on the couch, Chad?"
"Hey, I'm saving it. Can't go and spend it all in one go. Go and put some
Britney on, bitch."
"Shut up and eat your Doritos."
Danneel and Sandy show up together. Sandy has her laptop with her but Jared has
known her for years and knows that Sandy hates idle moments. Her latest pet
project, apparently, is making a searchable database of quiz bowl questions.
As Jared dares to bring out the drinks his brother was so kind to buy for him,
Misha shows up and he's the first one who seems to have bothered with a
birthday present.
"Here, I thought you might need one of those." Misha's present is a t-shirt
that reads: 'Save water, shower with me.'
"Thanks, I guess," Jared says, eyeing the t-shirt suspiciously. He's never been
into funny t-shirts and Misha doesn't seem to be the type either. The message
on the t-shirt almost feels ominous.
Jensen shows up shortly after that and Jared hastens to hide the t-shirt, not
sure exactly why he's doing it though. Like Misha, Jensen comes bearing a
birthday present.
"Sorry, didn't know what to give you," Jensen says as he thrusts couple of
hastily wrapped shot glasses into Jared's hands.
"Awesome. My first pair of shot glasses," Jared says, trying his uttermost to
play it cool. He puts the glasses away in a safe place.
Being a host is kind of tiring, even if all he's doing is serving a little more
than a handful of people drinks and making sure there's enough dip on the table
and that Chad is not putting his fingers into it. He can't really engage in the
conversation, only catching bits here and there.
Misha and Danneel seem to hit it off and Jensen is sitting with Sandy and her
laptop and the database project of doom. Chad and his other friends are
laughing and probably discussing basketball while Alexis sits by them and
listens. She's somehow so awkward sitting there, like she really wants to talk
to Chad and the guys but has no idea how to enter the conversation.
"Hey, Alexis, wanna come and help me in the kitchen?" Jared asks in the spur of
the moment. She smiles and nods but gives a lingering look back at Chad and the
guys before entering the kitchen with Jared.
Jared's mother had prepared pigs-in-a-blanket and some sort of mini pizzas that
Jared has to heat up and Alexis helps him. Not much, as she's about five times
slower than Jared moving the mini pizzas to the baking tray.
"So, Chad is serious about the basketball?"
"Hmm, I guess so," Jared says, finishing off the first tray.
"Is he aiming to get a scholarship or something like that? Like you know, to
State or something?"
"I don't know. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know himself. Why are you wondering?"
"Oh, just curious, you know," she says, poking at the food processor on the
counter.
"Okay." Jared keeps on getting the food into the oven. Alexis watches him for a
while and then disappears back into the living room.
As the evening progresses, Jared hasn't really had the opportunity to sit down.
He does manage to drink a couple of beers while flitting about, though.
"Hey," Jensen comes up to him as he's changing the music - the party playlist
apparently wasn't long enough. "So Sandy has put a lot of work into that
database. Like a crazy amount."
Jared nods as he scrolls through his iTunes playlists, trying to find something
fun. He has way too much classical music on there because he likes listening to
it when he's studying.
"You are like the most responsible host I've ever seen," Jensen says.
"Hmm?" Jared says, feeling a bit distracted as he hurries to scroll quickly
over the playlist he uses when he's feeling a particularly lovesick.
"I mean, most people would have brought out a couple of bags of chips and a big
bag of Skittles and thought it would be quite adequate but you have this whole
Betty Crocker thing going on. I'm impressed, I have to say."
"Oh, Mom just thought I couldn't let my guests starve. I want this to be a nice
party."
"This is your seventeen year old birthday party, dude. All you should be
thinking about it having fun and getting laid."
Jared almost chokes on his beer and ends up accidentally inhaling it into his
nose.
"Oh, youth. So sweet and innocent."
Jared can't help but blush.
"Very funny," he mutters as he wipes his nose with the sleeve of his shirt.
"Hey, Jared!" Alexis slides up to him. "Is there something more I can do?" She
seems very eager to help now.
"Uhm, you could help me a bit more in the kitchen. I need to put stuff away,"
Jared says reluctantly, looking down at Alexis.
There isn't much that needs to be done in the kitchen so Alexis ends up sitting
at the kitchen table with a bottle of beer in her hand and looking like she
wanted Jared to sit next to her.
Warily he sits down with her, also with a beer in hand which would be his
fourth that evening. She starts telling him all about her first year at
college, down to how many lecture notes she wrote down in one of her lectures
and exactly how many pages there are in her Introduction to Engineering
textbook. Since Jared has never planned on ever studying engineering, his
interest is limited. Still, he feels like Alexis must need to get this off her
chest and have a sympathetic ear listening to her. He just wishes it wasn't his
sympathetic ear, at least not on his birthday.
They end up sitting there for a long time because when Jared gets up to get his
sixth beer, Danneel, Sandy and Jensen all poke their heads into the kitchen.
"So we were thinking of heading home. Early start for some of us and stuff."
Jared springs up. Seeing that it's almost two in the morning, he knows he can't
make them stay but he didn't plan spending almost the whole evening hearing
about how hard the freshman year in Engineering is.
Seeing Danneel, Sandy and Jensen leaving, Chad and the others head home as well
and finally it's only Misha and Alexis who are left.
"Hey, I'm going home. Alexis, isn't it? Want a ride or something?" Misha asks.
"No, no. I live close by. Jared, maybe you can just walk me home? I mean, the
weather is so nice and you can sober up a bit."
Misha looks at Jared with a raised eyebrow but Jared can't do anything but
shrug. He's not sure exactly why Alexis wants him to walk her home but she does
live close by. It's only three blocks away and Jared isn't too good to walk her
home.
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Jared has no idea how they ended up in the park instead of in front of Alexis'
house. The park is submerged in the heavy and hot summer darkness. As they make
their way into it, it feels like the park will swallow them whole. Somewhere
far in, somewhere between the big oak tree and the gazebo in the heart of the
park, Alexis stops.
"Let's sit down here," she says and sits down on a backless bench. Jared sits
down, the bench almost uncomfortably low for him; his knees almost at chin
level.
The alcohol is still buzzing in his veins, so he really doesn't think much of
it, after they have sat there for few minutes in a strange sort of silence,
when Alexis takes his hand, weaving her delicate fingers with his large ones.
He merely stares at their hands and through the drunken haze marvels at the
difference in size. Alexis' hand feels like a child's hand even though she's
older than him. He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't have time to react
when Alexis pulls down his face and kisses him. It's not a sweet little peck,
no, it's a teeth-clicking, tongue-shoving French kiss and while his first
instinct is to bite the tongue invading his mouth, he does possess enough
presence of mind to just push her gently away.
"No," he says in a clear voice. He really wants to say 'I'm gay' but that's
almost not relevant. "We are just friends."
Alexis looks at him. She doesn't exactly look hurt, rather slightly confused.
Jared gets the distinct feeling that she had planned to throw herself at him.
That makes him uncomfortable; they have been friends for a few years and he has
never felt any interest on her part before. Hell, she sometimes asked about
Chad and he had thought he'd detected a certain interest in those inquiries.
She turns away from him and stares ahead and Jared feels like he should say
something but he doesn't want to. Saying 'we are just friends' implies so much
without directly saying it; telling her that he isn't attracted to her at all.
The silence between them is stifling, just as oppressive as the warm summer
darkness surrounding them. After several minutes, Alexis springs to her feet
and looks at him.
It's only polite to follow suit. When they reach the gate to the park, she
stops and looks straight up at him, very determined.
"Give me your phone." This is a demand and he feels compelled to comply though
he can't really think of a reason why she would need his phone. He's pretty
sure her own phone is packed away in the purse she's carrying.
She pokes at the phone and Jared starts to wonder if he should be worried about
her reading some incriminating texts, but her fingers are flicking through too
fast for that.
"Goddamn, Jared, I can't understand your phone. Where's the phonebook?"
And he suddenly understands. Grabbing his phone back, he opens up the
phonebook, scrolls through it and brings up the number he knows she's seeking.
As he's about to hand the phone back, she's busy rummaging around in her purse
for her own phone. Keys jangle and cosmetics containers clash together as her
rummaging grows almost violent.
Something falls out and when Jared sees what it is, his face heats up.
It's a condom. All wrapped up in a shiny foil.
Alexis doesn't seem to have noticed. She triumphantly grabs Jared's phone back
when she has found her own.
"How did you know?" She asks as she sees Chad's number high-lighted on the
screen of Jared's phone.
He doesn't really answer her; he's too busy pretending not to notice the condom
lying on the ground.
When she hands him back his phone, he tries to make it seem as he's extremely
interested in his phonebook. From the corner of his eye, he sees her sidestep a
little.
"You gonna get going?" Her voice is definitely impatient. He fights a snort
wanting to burst out of him.
"You don't want me to walk you home?" He asks, trying to sound all casual.
"Jared, I can take care of myself." Her voice is clipped and he couldn't go for
broke here. He'd turned her down earlier, no need for him to let her know that
he knew exactly how far she'd been expecting to go with him.
Turning on his heel, he walks away. Several yards down the street he turns and
sees her, still standing at the park gates, the streetlights illuminating her.
***** Intelligence Quota *****
Intelligence Quota - Part 3
His jaw is stiff when he wakes up. He wonders whether it's some sort of a
strange hangover until he realizes he's literally crawling out of his skin and
he feels like there are burning holes in his gut. Turning, he presses his face
into the pillow, trying to bat away any thoughts of the night before. He isn't
ready to face the disappointment so early – not when he's groggy with sleep and
the after-effects of alcohol consumption are still playing havoc his body.
Jared is pretty sure he didn't have some great expectations towards his party.
He had just hoped that he'd get a little time to chat to Jensen and that he'd
have a good time. And he had until Alexis whisked him off to have some sort of
a heart to heart in the kitchen and then she had gone completely off her
rocker. All he can think of are Alexis and Chad and how he's suddenly stuck in
the middle of something he really doesn't want to a part of. He loves Chad like
a brother but when it comes to his love life Jared wants nothing to do with it
and he can feel in his bones that if Alexis has the courage to contact Chad,
Chad will be seeking his advice.
What the hell is he supposed to say? Alexis isn't a bad person and if she
genuinely likes Chad, he can't really tell Chad anything about what happened
between him and Alexis. Either way, it feels like one of them would be screwed
over.
He longs for a perspective. He longs for someone to hear about the Alexis
incident and hear him bitch about how little time he got with Jensen.
So he picks up the phone, knowing it's not too early to call Misha as Misha
told him he believed in getting up early.
"Hey, it's me," Jared whispers in the phone when Misha answers.
"Hey, how are you? Hung over?"
"Nah, not really. Feeling almost okay. Physically that is."
"Oh? Something wrong?"
"Not exactly, I just kind of need to vent to someone."
"And poor old me gets to be that lucky someone. No, seriously. Unburden
yourself. Dr. Misha is listening."
"Ha ha, so funny. You know how Alexis insisted I'd walk her home."
"Yeah."
"So I did, except she really wanted to go to the park that's close by and sit
down there and hold hands with me. And you know, I was drunk and stupid and I
didn't think much of holding hands with her."
"Okay, go on."
"She tried to kiss me, with tongue and all."
"Really?" There's genuine surprise in Misha's voice. "She doesn't know you are
gay?"
"No, I never told her. I haven't been sharing my private life with her much,
even though we've known each other for few years."
"So what did you do? Stopped her and told her you aren't interested in girls?"
"No, I just told her that we were friends and I wanted to keep it like that."
"Like you and Jensen are friends?"
"No, wait, this isn't over."
"Intriguing, tell me more."
"So we get up and it's so fucking awkward and then she asks for my phone and I
give her my phone, I thought she didn't have hers with her. Well, apparently
she needed my phone to look up Chad's number?"
A peal of giggles comes through from the other end of the line.
"Seriously? She kisses you and then needs some other guy's number? Only met the
girl once but never pegged her for a player."
"Wait, I'm not finished."
"Is there more?"
"Yeah," Jared sighs. "So to put Chad's number into her phone, she takes her
phone out of her purse and yeah, something falls out onto the ground. A
condom."
Misha's giggles have turned into wheezing laughter.
"And what? Can't keep me in suspense here."
"And she didn't notice because she was so eager to put Chad's number into her
phone. I had to pretend I didn't see it. I do think she noticed when she gave
me back my phone and then she did a little sidestep over it and then she
insisted I'd be on my way."
The laughter coming from Misha now has Jared moving the phone a bit away from
his ear.
"I swear, I thought that girl was as dull as a bag of bones when I met her and
there she was all prepared to get her freak on last night. Oh, Jay-bird, why
did you have to go and turn her down?"
"Besides the obvious reason?"
"Girl was prepared and all. Be a gentleman, Mr. Padalecki."
"The thing is, should I tell Chad about this?"
"Tell him what?"
"I presume that Alexis will be calling him and stuff and should I tell him that
she kissed me?"
"Hmm, he's your best friend and you should always look out for your friend but
I don't know. I think it has to be your call if you can find time to bring it
up."
"No help in you then," Jared says petulantly.
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He ends up not telling Chad, only giving him a warning that Alexis has his
number. At first Chad is mildly baffled and curious but the second time they
talk about it, Jared can discern a certain interest from Chad.
"She's pretty," Chad says, trying to be off-handed about it.
"Hmm," Jared says. Chad is right but Jared really tries his uttermost not to
give an opinion one way or the other.
"I could go on a date with her; we could see a movie or something. And she's
older, you know."
The no-input rule Jared has set himself is already wearing him down and Alexis
hasn't even called Chad yet.
She eventually does, though, and Chad starts to get very anxious about the date
and the fact that she's older. Jared doesn't think it matters much, he's pretty
sure that Chad has more experience than Alexis but he doesn't point it out.
Chad's anxiousness ends up being peanuts in comparison with Alexis' flailing.
She calls Jared the day before she and Chad are meant to go out on their first
date and with fifteen different questions, she tries to get Jared to answer
whether he thinks Chad likes her or will like her. Jared's urge to throw his
cell phone into the wall during that conversation wasn't nearly as strong,
though, as it was when she called him after the date and wanted him to analyze
every sentence Chad had said during the course of the evening.
It would be just his luck if they decided to get married.
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"Hey." The voice on the phone is soft and it takes Jared a couple of seconds to
recognize it as he'd grabbed the phone without looking at the display, sure it
was Chad.
"Hey, Jensen," he inhales and immediately feels stupid because it makes him
sound like he'd been running or something worse.
"Am I interrupting something?" He definitely detects mirth in Jensen's voice.
"He he, no. I thought you were Chad."
"Okay, I'm sorry that I'm not Chad."
"God, don't be sorry. Chad has kind of been driving me crazy."
"More than usual?"
"Yeah," Jared says, almost bursting into complaints about the entire Chad-
Alexis drama, but catches himself at the last moment.
"I just wanted to call you to thank you for the party. I just… it would have
been great if I'd had more time to talk to you. Alexis kind of hi-jacked you."
"Yeah, I'm sorry and I kind of have to admit that the night took downturn after
you left."
"Oh, really?"
"Seriously, you don't want to know. How about you?"
"I can concur about the downturn. I just went home."
Jared feels his face grow hot. He had only intended to ask about Jensen's life
in general. But it's nice to know that Jensen had enjoyed their conversation.
"You working Friday?" Jensen asks and all thoughts of Chad and Alexis vanish.
"Until three o'clock."
"Cool. I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie and maybe go out for a
bite to eat. If you are free after work, that is."
"I…" Jared's tongue is suddenly too big for his mouth. Is Jensen asking him out
on a date?
"I'll even pay if you are strapped for cash. I wasn't thinking a steak dinner
but you know…"
Jensen is definitely asking him out on a date and Jared feels nauseated, dizzy
and stupidly happy, all at once.
"Yeah, I'm up for that."
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"You high or something?" Misha is leaning on the counter beside Jared, his tone
teasing.
"Huh? No!" Jared is indignant.
"Just… you aren't stalking around in a murderous rage like you've been all
week. I'm willing to bet a lot of money that Chad and Alexis haven't announced
their engagement yet or whatever you are hoping for them. So I thought you
might have sought some herbal refreshment to alleviate your worries."
"Chad and Alexis getting engaged would be on par with the Armageddon so no, my
improved mood has nothing to do with them."
"Then what?"
Jared looks down at the counter. He hasn't really told anyone that he has a
date, he only told his parents that he wouldn't be home for dinner and it feels
nice to have something private, something between him and Jensen. But this is
Misha and his perceptiveness is like some kind of a sixth sense.
"Oh, this has something to do with Jensen!" Misha's face lights up and Jared
can't help but blush.
"So has he declared his undying love for you?"
"Don't be silly, he asked me out on a date… or you know, a date-ish outing."
"Date-ish outing?"
"Just… you know… We are just going to catch a movie and have a burger and…"
"And? How is that not a date? You are both gay and anyone with eyes could seen
the sparks flying between you at the party."
"Maybe he's just asking me as a friend."
"Then he would ask you to hang out and watch a Star Trek movie marathon or
something like that. Dinner and a movie is a classic date set-up."
"Okay, okay, then I'm going on a date with Jensen. You satisfied?"
"Extremely. I may require all the sordid details from you later."
Jared snickers but Misha's comment gets him thinking and after a minute, he
turns to Misha.
"Do you think he's expecting something?"
"Well, he isn't showing yet but I bet it will be a healthy bouncing boy."
"I'm trying to be serious here."
Misha starts laughing so hard that he has to brace himself against the counter.
"Sorry, sorry, I'm being mean. But what do you really mean with him expecting
something?"
There are probably better places to discuss this than the bookstore but Jared
is nervous.
"I… do you think he expects sex?"
Pushing himself off the counter, Misha sobers up and looks up at Jared.
"I'm not him so I can't really know what he's expecting but honestly, he
shouldn't be expecting anything from you. You need to be little more self-
preserving, Jay."
Misha's meaning is clear enough for Jared and he knows that Jensen isn't worth
it if he's going to pressure him into sex. It still hurts to be reminded of his
own failings though.
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Dates are probably awkward by default, Jared is sure about that. That has to
explain the strange bubbling feeling in his stomach. They are sitting opposite
each other in a booth at a small diner which kind of stinks of grease and stale
coffee but Jensen promises the fries and the burgers are worth it. Normally
their conversation runs easy and Jared thinks he could talk forever with
Jensen. But now they are sitting in silence, both looking at the crack in the
surface of the table between them.
When the burgers arrive, the silence stretches on further, though with the
occasional break where they voice their satisfaction. Jensen has impeccable
taste in burgers it seems and if Jared was going to name his last meal right
now, the fries they were eating would be a great contender.
Halfway through the meal, Jensen finally finds his tongue though Jared is also
struggling with finding words to say.
"You seem out of sorts. Everything okay?"
Jared wants to voice his concerns, wants to ask Jensen whether he's expecting
sex tonight but he simply settles for a smile.
"Okay, I'm just going to say this… I mean, I thought of this as a date. Call me
crazy but there's something here, a connection, right?" Jensen waves at the
space between them. "But are you feeling it?"
A burning hot sensation envelops Jared's middle, like someone is trying to cut
him in two with heated tongs. He knows how much he likes Jensen; that he is
really in love with him even though he doesn't dare to form that thought. The
heat rises in his cheeks and his tongue is literally stuck to the roof of his
mouth but somehow, with body language and mumbling, he manages to convey to
Jensen that he's feeling the attraction.
"Why are you so quiet then?" Jensen asks.
"I haven't been on a date before and you are … I mean, you are in college and
older and used to that…"
"Jay, what are you saying? Shit, I'm not stupid, I know you are only seventeen
and while I really like you… god, Jay, I want to get know you a whole lot more
before…" Jensen looks at him through his lashes, like he's so shy and the
tension that had tied a huge knot in Jared's stomach dissolves.
"I like you a lot too but you have to know that I can't… I'm not ready to sleep
with you yet." Jared hadn't really planned to say it outright.
"Dude, that was what I was trying to say as well. I mean, jumping into the sack
with someone right away tends to be disappointing at best."
"I know," Jared whispers and he knows his cheeks must be glowing red by now.
Jensen's eyes fly open and he looks at him almost challengingly but he doesn't
ask the question he's obviously dying to ask.
"I had this one night stand with a guy I met at a party – actually at a party I
went to with Chad after we left Alexis' birthday party. Yeah, awkward doesn't
even begin to describe it." Jared doesn't look at Jensen but then a strong hand
locks around his left wrist.
"Jay, was it your first time?"
"Yeah. So much for saving yourself for that special someone. I'm lucky I
remember the guy's name – his first name that is. As idiotic as it sounds, I
feel better knowing it was someone called Keith who took my virginity."
Instead of nodding like Jared thought he would, Jensen's grip on him tightens
and he is staring wide-eyed at Jared.
"Keith? Dark hair? About five foot ten? Lives on Pine Street?"
Jared nods slowly while his heart hammers so fast that he is sure it will pop
out of his ribcage. Then Jensen starts laughing and there is something about
his laughter that has Jared's stomach clenching.
"I suppose we are some sort of gay eskimo brothers now."
Jared blinks, not sure what exactly Jensen is telling him.
"Okay, when I came here to start college… You see, I'd had a couple of
girlfriends in high school, 'cause as you know, I didn't come out until I came
here. You can say I came out the wrong way when I finally did come out. I
decided I was going to sleep with the first guy who was interested – to be
sure, you know. I hooked up at a party a couple of weeks after I arrived here,
with Keith, 'cause he was cute and into me. After that… let's say I was sure I
was gay but also sure I wasn't interested in having random hook-ups and that's
pretty much what is on offer when you are in college."
"He's the only guy you've ever slept with?"
"I tried the random hook-up thing again – bolted right after giving some guy a
sloppy blowjob in the bathroom at a bar."
They are still holding hands and the way Jensen's hand closes over his calms
Jared down.
They skip the movie and Jared is secretly relieved – he feels a bit like his
insides have been steamrolled. He doesn't understand why, really – knowing that
Jensen and he had both slept with same guy shouldn't be some sort of live-
changing information. But it is. They suddenly share something so intimate.
Sure, he told Chad about it and Jensen's experience with Keith might have been
completely different from his, maybe Jensen had topped. Still, just the fact
they both have hooked up with Keith at a party is enough to feel connected at a
deep level.
They sit at the diner for so long that Jared's butt starts to feel numb. Jensen
drives him home and they sit outside of Jared's house in the car in
companionable silence for a few minutes. As Jared is gripping the door handle
to get out, Jensen puts his hand on his shoulder, getting him to turn around.
Leaning forward, Jensen plants a dry, close-mouthed kiss on his lips. They
tingle for the rest of the night.
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If it wasn't for the ballad of Chad and Alexis, Jared's feet wouldn't touch the
earth at all. Misha makes fun of him and tells him he's not getting paid to
stare off into the air. Jared simply grins at him and tries to get on with
whatever he's doing that day.
So maybe it's for the best that he has the task of analyzing every date and
every phone call made between Chad and Alexis. He can't even escape getting
graphic descriptions of what they get up to on their dates.
"Chad, no, I don't need to know that," he attempts every time Chad needs to
share.
"But I don't know if that's normal or if I'm just that bad. I mean, my wrist
was starting to cramp when she finally came."
"Too. Much. Information. Seriously."
Alexis thankfully spares him the most intimate details but she is much more
concerned with exactly how Chad feels about her and everything she does and
says.
"I'm pretty sure that Chad meant it as a casual greeting when he said 'see you
later'. I don't think he's dismissing you. Really."
Danneel is unfortunately really not sympathetic to his complaints about being
pushed into the role of being the designated relationship advisor.
"If you had told Chad that Alexis kissed you then they probably wouldn't have
hooked up."
"Danny, do you really think that Chad would have given it that much thought? I
think at the moment he's just into the whole thing of having a girlfriend and
an older one at that."
"Oh, men. If he'd just think with his upstairs brain for a second. I just hope
this will end before school starts again and Alexis' neurosis will kick into
high gear."
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure he'll get tired soon. I mean, he has never lasted for
long with a girl."
"You don't say. He has the same attention span as a gnat on acid."
"Yeah, those two need to either start talking to each other instead of me, or
break up. I've got my own love life to worry about."
"Oh yeah, you do. One day I'm going to press for details."
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Jared is actually pretty happy to keep his relationship with Jensen private. At
the moment there isn't actually much to tell except that they seem to be able
to talk about everything. And kiss. But no one needs reports on long make-out
sessions on Jensen's couch and marathon watching of sci-fi shows.
Those around him who aren't caught up in their own relationship drama often
give him a strange smile when he casually mentions he has a date with Jensen.
A couple of weeks before school starts back up for Jared, Jensen comes over to
his house. His parents went out of town and took Megan with them. They spend
the entire Saturday afternoon lounging in the backyard, each with a book in
their hands, reading. It's then and there, when they are both off in their own
world that Jared realizes that he, at least, is ready to take the next step.
He doesn't want to come out with a whole 'I want sex, Jensen, make that happen'
spiel. Putting away his book, he looks over at Jensen who is still engrossed in
A Clash of Kings. And he gets a silly idea, a very silly idea.
His cover story is that he's going to get drinks but as he hands Jensen a glass
of iced tea, he sees Jensen's gaze fleet upwards from the book and at him.
"You changed," he remarks and then gives the t-shirt Jared's wearing a better
look. "I never thought you'd be one to wear a slogan t-shirt."
Jared blushes and almost drops his own glass of iced tea into the grass.
"I…"
Jensen ignores him and reads: "'Save water, shower with me.' Is that an offer?"
His voice is playful and it would be easiest thing for Jared to dismiss it as a
joke and tell Jensen that he had needed a clean t-shirt and that was the only
available. But he doesn't, his face flushes an even deeper shade of red and
looking into Jensen's eyes, he nods.
"Oh, wow. Sure you are ready? I mean, I'd love to." And Jensen pulls him down
for a kiss.
The shower in Jared's bathroom is actually quite big and this wouldn't be the
first time that he's happy about that fact.
The skin on Jensen's arms and face is faintly tinted pink by the sun. He's
never seen Jensen topless, though he's definitely felt that skin under his
fingers during their make-out sessions. Jensen is slender but defined and Jared
can't help but eye the treasure trail leading from Jensen's bellybutton down
under the waistband of his boxers. He feels pretty self-conscious about taking
off his own clothes because he feels like he's a skinny bean-pole. His ribs
aren't showing but only barely so. Not that Jensen seems to mind. As soon as
Jared discards his t-shirt, Jensen takes one look at him and then pushes him
against the bathroom door.
"God, Jared," Jensen mouths into his neck. Arching into Jensen's touch, Jared
takes a hold of his head with one hand and runs the other one over Jensen's
shoulder, broad and beautiful. He pulls Jensen's head back up and they kiss.
Jared hasn't gotten over how Jensen's lips can be both soft and firm at the
same time. There's always the tiniest bit of aggression in Jensen's kisses
blended in with the tenderness and right now the kissing is turning him on so
much. He presses Jensen closer to him to let him know how hard he's grown.
"I think you need that shower," Jensen murmurs against his lips and pushes
away. Unconsciously, Jared follows him but stops short when Jensen steps out of
his boxers and stands completely naked before him. Jared's heart is about to
pop out of his chest. So Jensen is really beautiful all over.
The water in the shower is slightly cool on their skin as they step into it but
Jared doesn't really notice as he backs Jensen up against the shower wall,
their lips smashing together and Jared banishes every coherent thought out of
his head and allows his hands to roam Jensen's body.
This isn't time for slow and nice. He wants Jensen, wants him to know right now
how much he wants this. His hands travel down to Jensen's behind and draws him
closer; so close that their chests, stomachs, groins, dicks, everything are
touching and all slippery wet.
Groaning into his mouth, Jensen digs his fingers into Jared's shoulders and
then turns away from the kiss.
"Oh, god, touch me, Jared," Jensen hisses and Jared feels a burning hot jolt in
the pit of his stomach. It's so hot to hear Jensen beg like that. So incredibly
hot.
"Your hand," Jensen breathes again and with shaky fingers, Jared touches his
cock. Jensen is already rock hard and so is he, for that matter. He gives
Jensen a tentative stroke as Jensen moves his hand down, closing over his.
"Yours too," Jensen demands and opens his hand over Jared's dick. It's a
strange feeling to have Jensen's hand there and then to slide against Jensen's
own dick. But it feels like nothing Jared has ever experienced before. He knows
he's close, the onslaught of sensations is too much.
"Jensen…" His voice is strange and rough to his own ears.
"It's okay," Jensen whispers and presses his lips the pulse point on the side
of Jared's neck.
That is all the incentive that Jared needs. He shakes violently as he comes and
he has to brace himself against the shower wall. Never in his life has he come
so hard.
He hears Jensen gasp about the same time as he comes down.
"Wow," Jensen says looking up to him. "We are definitely going to do this
again."
Jared laughs and gives Jensen a lazy kiss.
     [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zhyya]____spacer____

Jared doesn't want to admit but the interlude in the shower kind of broke a dam
with him and Jensen. They simply can't get enough of each other. Every night
Jared finds another excuse to go to Jensen's place. He wishes he would feel
worse about lying to his parents but he's seventeen and guaranteed orgasms with
the guy he pretty much suspects he's in love with are worth more than complete
disclosure with his parents.
Despite being unable to keep their hands off each other they haven't progressed
further than what they did in the shower. Handjobs are all great and dandy and
very good providers of orgasms but Jared wants more and he really doesn't want
to pressure Jensen. The irony of a seventeen year old pressuring a twenty-
something into sex doesn't escape him. So he keeps his mouth shut and enjoys
how Jensen's kisses feel and how his calloused hand can have him coming in two
minutes flat.
Until one night when he's feeling strangely bold.
It all begins with him trashing Jensen at Madden, a game which they both kind
of suck at but that night Jared seems to be the supreme ruler of his imaginary
football team. He is sitting on the couch, doing random fist-pumps and Jensen
just sits and rolls his eyes at him.
"You know, I should be a lot better at this game. I come from a town where
football is revered. The football players there are like demigods. By default I
should be gifted at this and especially when playing with some granola boy in a
hippy little college town." Jensen sighs dramatically and falls back onto the
couch, the game controller lying in his lap.
Jared throws his head back and laughs.
"Would you believe I've never seen an actual football game?"
"Oh my god. If anyone at home would ever learn this, they would be simply
aghast. They'd be all 'Not only is he queer but he's a disgrace to our great
football tradition.'"
"And they'd learn you'd lost to this granola-eating, hippy, queer boy," Jared
says jeeringly, feeling everything but a peace-loving, granola-eating hippy. He
crawls up the couch and pushes Jensen's game controller away.
"Yeah, if they knew you, they'd know you aren't really any of these things,"
Jensen says, looking straight at Jared, and the challenge present in Jensen's
eyes doesn't escape Jared.
"No," Jared whispers before almost sinking his teeth in Jensen's neck. Winning
that game of Madden sparked something within him. Jensen arches into Jared's
aggressive kisses.
There's something about the taste of Jensen's skin, it's clean but there's
always this tangy, salty taste that Jared just can't get enough of. He grazes a
tendon with his teeth and then licks up the area where his teeth just were.
Judging by Jensen's squirming, he enjoys it very much.
"I want you," Jared mouths into his boyfriend's neck, just under his ear and
Jensen clearly hears him and understands what he's meaning: Jensen bucks up
into Jared who can't help the smile that appears on his lips when he feels that
Jensen is already hard.
"Fuck, Jared. I… We shouldn't…" Jensen breathes.
"Shouldn't do what?" Jared has thrown all caution to the wind and he wants
Jensen to do the same. Maybe he's horny out of his mind but he trusts Jensen
and he wants this.
"We were going to take this slow." Jensen chokes on his words a little, like
he's fighting to hold on to his promise.
"I don't mind it being slow, though at the moment I doubt either of us has the
patience for that."
Pulling himself back, Jared looks at Jensen who is half-sitting, half-lying on
the couch. They could do it right here if they wanted to and he's almost
shaking, trying to control himself, trying not to jump on Jensen.
"You're so right," Jensen gasps and raises himself from the couch. They look at
each other and somehow break into a run into the bedroom, half-gripping each
other and even managing to squeeze in few kisses before tumbling down on
Jensen's bed.
Jared is vaguely aware that they are tearing the clothes off each other, hardly
even registers it when Jensen pulls hard on his t-shirt, so hard that it
catches on the junction of his jaw and throat, rubbing the skin almost raw.
Without giving it much thought, Jared pushes Jensen down onto the mattress and
tries his best to map the expanse of Jensen's torso with his lips. He can't get
enough of the soft skin on Jensen's lower belly and Jensen seems not to get
enough of Jared's lips there as he arches up.
As he moves downwards, Jared feels that he can't ignore Jensen's hardness and
despite his horrible past experience of giving a blowjob, he wants give Jensen
one.
"Can I?" He asks, his voice so thick and rough that he isn't sure that Jensen
can even hear him. So he tugs on the waistband of Jensen's boxers, hoping that
he will get the message.
Without uttering a word, Jensen reaches down and pushes his underwear away.
Jared's heart is hammering in his chest and he isn't really sure why because he
wants to do this. He wants to know whether he's able to make Jensen come apart
with his mouth, tongue and hands like that.
First he tries a tentative lick, running his tongue up the underside of
Jensen's cock. In his mind's eye, he sees himself swallowing Jensen's dick down
to the root but if his past experience taught him anything, then it was that he
should start out slow. So he settles for dragging his lips and mouth up and
down the shaft. Judging by the way Jensen's hips are jerking, he likes what
Jared is doing so his courage grows. Bringing his lips around the head of
Jensen's dick, he sucks gently but pulls away when Jensen jolts up off the
mattress.
"Sorry," he whispers and his voice is scratchy like he's not used it for a long
time.
Jared gives him a smile and envelopes Jensen's cock in his hand, taking care to
not squeeze too tight. He licks the part of the shaft that isn't covered by his
hand and then sucks Jensen into his mouth. Moving his head up and down, he
creates a rhythm, a rhythm that Jensen seems to appreciate greatly, judging by
the way he pushes up into it. As Jared licks with the tip of his tongue over
the crown and into the slit, a shudder passes through Jensen.
"Please," Jensen sobs, "I'm so close. I… I…" As he attempts to bat Jared away,
he comes in great pulses into Jared's mouth. The come has a bitter taste and as
Jared lifts his head and Jensen's dick pops free of his mouth, he swallows with
some difficulties, his gag reflex working against him.
But he's kind of satisfied that he's managed to make Jensen come, mostly with
his mouth. It's a notch in his bedpost, if you please. He crawls up the bed to
take a look at Jensen's blissed-out face. His dark lashes make an interesting
contrast to his pale cheeks and the smile that is playing his lips makes them
look so kissable. So Jared does just that. He could feel Jensen smile even
wider into the kiss and then suck on his tongue like he was chasing his own
taste. They make out lazily for a little while and Jared tries his best to
ignore that he's still hard and very much turned on.
As he has started to wonder whether he should take the mind over matter
approach and try will his erection away, Jensen breaks their kiss.
"I want you," he says, his voice barely a whisper but Jared feels a hot jolt in
the pit of his stomach. Jensen's eyes are shining, like there's a fire lit
within him and Jared knows what Jensen wants.
"You want me… " Jared chokes on the words.
"In me." Jensen cups his face and pulls him down for another kiss. When Jared
pulls back, he can't think for his beating heart and the lust in his veins. He
stares at Jensen, unsure what to do and the corners of Jensen's mouth lift up.
"I want to. And I can prep myself."
Jared watches, unmoving, as Jensen unearths lube and condoms and then he gets
up on his knees, reaching back with lube-covered fingers. His mouth dries up as
he watches Jensen's fingers disappear inside him and Jensen's face as he opens
himself up. It takes every grain Jared has of self-control not to touch himself
as Jensen's breath hitches slightly and his head falls back.
Without saying anything, Jensen stops what he's been doing. Ripping open a
condom, he crawls to Jared who is still like frozen while Jensen rolls the
condom on him.
"You know, this isn't going to work if you don't move," Jensen says, his lips
touching the shell of Jared's ear and then he moves down to kiss Jared's neck.
And it's enough provocation for Jared. He grabs Jensen's shoulders and as he
plants a crushing kiss to his lips, he tumbles on the top of Jensen, trying to
open his legs with his knees. Jensen shifts underneath him, wrapping his legs
around Jared's waist, folding himself as he reaches for Jared's cock. It takes
a bit of slightly painful maneuvering for them until Jared is pushing into
Jensen.
It feels nothing like Jared had imagined it would feel like, nothing like
having someone fisting his dick. It's a lot tighter and hotter than he had
anticipated. He tries to go slow, not wanting to hurt Jensen but it's hard. All
he wants is to sink into the tightness and warmth.
"It's okay," Jensen gasps and Jared feels how Jensen is trying to drawing him
closer by digging his heels into the small of Jared's back. When he's all in,
he's still for few moments before moving. His thrust are shallow, merely jerks
of his hips. He's so close that he's shaking and he barely registers when
Jensen reaches up to swipe his sweaty bangs from his eyes. Jensen's touch is
almost cooling on his forehead.
"Jared, you don't have to hold back."
Jensen didn't have to say or do anything more. With couple of quick snaps of
his hips, Jared is coming. Trembling, his field of vision turns red and his
breath is coming out in sharp pants. Somehow he manages to retain enough
consciousness to not to collapse onto Jensen and rolls to the side. Slipping
out of Jensen, there's a strange sense of loss.
"I'm sorry I didn't last longer," Jared croaks, trying to find his voice again.
He turns his face into Jensen's pillow.
"Oh, this was just like it should have been." The simple sound of Jensen's
voice is calming to him. "I think it went well and you know, we can do this
many, many times more and we can only get better at it."
So maybe Jensen is right, maybe this was fucking great and Jared can't help but
letting out a short and happy laughter.
     [http://pics.livejournal.com/hildigunnur/pic/000zqtrw]____spacer____

"I'm absolutely heartbroken that this is your last day here." Misha has
presented him with a decorated cupcake since it's Jared's last day at Erasmus's
Necessities.
"Well, some of us still need some education," Jared says as he takes a bite out
of his cupcake.
"That's true. I'll miss you though. Why won't you take the part time shifts I'm
offering you?"
"I won't have time, Misha, you know that. There's school and the quiz bowl
team…"
"And Jensen."
"And Jensen," Jared agrees.
"You are so going to end up being one of those filthy happy couples who will
survive everything. Long distances, star-crossed lovers scenarios, everything."
"Yeah, sure," Jared says, trying to be nonchalant but secretly trying to battle
the butterflies in his belly at the thought of spending his whole life with
Jensen.
"At least Jensen isn't going to break up with you because he has this really
tough course in theoretical physics."
Jared snorts. He may have done a tiny fist pump when Chad had called him the
night before and told him that Alexis had dumped him as her start of term
nerves had kicked into high gear. Chad wasn't all that heartbroken but in the
spirit of their friendship, Jared had invited him over and they had played a
rather vigorous round of Mario Kart where he'd been completely defeated by Chad
in every game. Whether Chad had won every game fair and square, on the other
hand, is a secret Jared is going to take with him to his grave.
-End
===============================================================================
End Notes
     General notes about things that appeared in the fic:
     Misha's Faroese: "Góðan dag. Hvussu gongur?" – "Good Day. How are
     things?"
     Magyar Köztársaság is the official name of Hungary.
     The name of the bookstore where Jared and Misha work (Erasmus's
     Necessities) is inspired by a quote by Desiderius Erasmus of
     Rotterdam who said: "If I get a little money I buy books; and if any
     is left, I buy food and clothes."
     The quiz bowl competition doesn't completely follow any actual quiz
     bowl format. It's more an amalgam of the quiz bowl format I know the
     best and formats I read about when I was researching quiz bowl
     competitions in the U.S. The Stanford Quiz Bowl Packet Archive was a
     huge help while figuring out the question format.
     Acknowledgements:
     My deepest thanks for my incredible roommate sigrundora who has shown
     enthusiasm and support while I was writing this. I'm pretty sure if
     it hadn't been for her telling me to "get writing", this story
     wouldn't have been completed. She was also so kind to take time off
     from her travels to look at the grammar and spelling. She rocks so
     hard.
     Sarka should be lauded for so many thing like being the inspiration
     for Misha, for seeing the first fragments of this story and telling
     me that there was something there. For having supported me in my
     writing for years(!!) and for also sacrificing valuable time to look
     over the story and give me invaluable points on how to improve it.
     (It should be noted that any errors remaining are mine and mine
     alone.)
     The people on my Big Bang filter need to be thanked and Sarah Black
     in particular for being supportive and nice, especially since RPS
     isn't her cup of tea. Tu es le meilleur, Brian.
     I was so fortunate to have my summary picked by staticsintheair. It
     has been a joy to work with her and to see what she has come up with.
     Her story art does more than compliment the story. I can't tell you
     how much I love the banner and the dividers and CD cover art. Not to
     mention the soundtrack. That was collaboration as there are few songs
     there I chose but she seemed to be able find such great music for the
     fic. I'm in awe and it makes me so happy that she was able to be so
     inspired by my work. Go and heap praise upon her as she richly
     deserves it in her_art_post.
     And thanks to wendy and thehighwaywoman for making spn_j2_bigbang
     such an awesome challenge to participate in.
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