Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7894696.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Transformers:_Robots_in_Disguise_(2015), Transformers_-_All_Media_Types
  Relationship:
      Jazz/Sideswipe, Thunderhoof/Sideswipe
  Character:
      Sideswipe_(Transformers), Jazz_(Transformers), Bumblebee_(Transformers),
      Strongarm_(Transformers), Grimlock_(Transformers), Fixit_(Transformers),
      Steeljaw_(Transformers), Thunderhoof_(Transformers)
  Additional Tags:
      valveplug, Rape_Recovery, Rape_Aftermath, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort,
      Attempted_Rape/Non-Con
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-08-28 Updated: 2016-11-14 Chapters: 6/? Words: 19879
****** I'm here ******
by PurrV
Summary
     This is a sequel mini fic to Rolling_girl27's An Unexpected Guest
     Sideswipe has shut himself off from his team as he tries to deal with
     what happened to him. His team try to help but to no avail and its up
     to Jazz to step in and save the young mech before he loses himself.
  This work was inspired by
      An_Unexpected_Guest by Rolling_girl27
***** Chapter 1 *****
All he could was stare at himself. His reflection stared back him and bore the
same expression, dread and exhaustion. He didn't even recognise himself
anymore. Running his hands down his waist he examined his belly, twisting and
turning his body to inspect it at all angles. He prodded it and massaged it and
tried to compare it to how it looked a few days ago.
"Has it gotten bigger?" he asked himself.
He wanted to ask someone, anyone for their opinion. He needed to know if his
belly had grown since... since... Sideswipe cringed as the very thought made
him physically ill and he felt the need to purge his tanks as the bile rose up
his intake. He held it in but coughed violently, wiping away some excess oral
fluids.
"Isn't purging tanks a sign of...?" Sideswipe began to panic and inspected his
gut again. It had gotten bigger, it must have.
His feet moved on their own as he strode towards where Bumblebee was setting up
some security wires around the perimeter of the base. Bumblebee saw him coming
and stood up, his face full of concern. "Sideswipe, shouldn't you be resting?"
he said, his tone softer than normal.
Sideswipe suppressed a growl but his face did form a snarl. "I've rested
enough," he muttered, "I just need you to tell me if it... if my..."
Bumblebee seemed to already know what the question was as it was the only
question Sideswipe asked him of late. "Sideswipe you are NOT carrying," he
declared, "you're just over reacting."
"OVER REACTING!?" shrieked Sideswipe, his face twisting into an expression of
rage.
Bumblebee cringed at the poor choice of words. "I-I'm sorry Sideswipe, but-"
However Sideswipe had it up the sky with how he was being treated. "You weren't
the one who was attacked," he snapped bitterly, "you weren't the one who was
treated like a sex toy for hours! You didn't even bother to comm me! You all
just sat here whilst I was used over and over again!"
Bumblebee looked hurt and his face was full of guilt. "We would have gotten
there if we knew," he weakly protested.
"Well you didn't," barked Sideswipe, "and now I could be-" before Sideswipe
could finish he retched and violently purged his tanks. It took him by surprise
and he fell to his knees, coughing and sobbing as warm fluids were forced out
of his intake. His frame shuddered as the last of it gushed out of his throat
and into the puddle beneath him. He heaved heavily as a loose tear ran down his
face and he spat out the remains of the foul fluids in his mouth. Before he
could get up he felt a hand on his shoulder and he instantly slapped it away
and stood back up. "Don't ever touch me," he spat before bolting off.
He ran into a secluded area of the scrapyard and slumped against a wall,
sliding down until his rear hit the floor and he buried his head into his arms.
He hated this. He hated the way everyone treated him like a fragile doll. He
hated this disgusting feeling that was present all over his body. He never
asked for any of this. It was just plain unfair.
Only a few days ago Bumblebee was lecturing him on how to be a team player,
Strongarm was telling him off for failing to file his patrol report, Fixit was
trying to warm up to him with geeky chit chat and Grimlock wanted to play a
game with him with dangerous junk. Those days he desperately wanted back, he
took them all for granted. Now Bumblebee was giving him pep talks that didn't
work, Strongarm was desperately trying to be sweet to him, Fixit tried to keep
his hopes up in weird and bizarre ways and Grimlock wouldn't stop showering him
with junk he called gifts. Sideswipe despised the pity they were trying to
force on him. All of them putting on this false show of love and affection in
an attempt to hide their true feelings.
He remembered when he came back online, after it all happened.
He was lying on a makeshift medical berth Fixit constructed, hooked up to
machines that kept his vitals stable. His mind was still a mess and he sat up
in alarm and had a panic attack, both Strongarm and Bumblebee trying to hold
him down. He screamed and cried and begged, thinking that someone else was
holding him. It took a while but eventually he realised where he was and who
was with him. They all told him he was safe and it wasn't going to happen
again, but those promises meant nothing to Sideswipe. Everything felt numb and
his mind was far too messed up to think straight. He looked down at his body
and to his horror found his belly to be swollen. He recalled a critical point
during his attack and his mind was full of fear. In a fit of panic he grabbed
his blade screaming that "he had to get it out." Strongarm had to restrain him
whilst Bumblebee wrestled his sword away, their leader insisting that it was
just the side effect of having his chamber pumped.
After that Sideswipe was forced to stay on the berth until he had recovered but
only after two days he ripped the wires off his body and went to find somewhere
in the scrapyard he could be far away from the prying optics of his team.
Laying on a berth doing nothing made him think of things he didn't want to
think about. He tried to think of something to do but he couldn't, he could
only wallow in self pity. The Autobots all came one by one to check on him but
he either ignored them or shooed them away. Eventually Bumblebee did ask him,
"who did it?" Sideswipe couldn't answer so he remained silent. Grimlock asked
as well but because he promised Sideswipe he would punch them hundred times for
what they did. Once again Sideswipe said nothing.
The Autobots tried to give him space but kept a close optic on him whenever
they could. They were too ashamed to admit that none of them knew what to do.
They didn't have the correct expertise nor the proper medical equipment for
this kind of thing and their off world communication equipment wasn't working
so the were on their own. Needless to say the mood at the scrapyard grew sour.
Sideswipe tried to sink into the blank abyss of his mind when his solitude was
disturbed when the loud sounds of heavy foot falls approached and stopped right
in front of, causing Sideswipe to look up. "What is it Grimlock?" he sighed.
Grimlock was wearing one of his goofy grins and placed an unusual item before
Sideswipe. "I made ya somethin'," he declared with pride. "I call it, a
throwing tin ball! We can play if you want, I know a good spot!"
Sideswipe huffed angrily, not amused by Grimlock's simple logic. "I told you
before, I don't want anything."
Grimlock whined and fiddled with his claws. "There has to be somethin' I can
do," he pleaded. The Dinobot desperate to get his friend back to normal.
Well there was one thing, he doubted Grimlock would for it but it was worth a
shot. "Can you get me my sword back?" asked Sideswipe.
That request made Grimlock uncomfortable. "Er... Y'know Bee said you weren't
allowed it until you get better," mumbled the Dinibot.
"What, does he think I'm gonna commit suicide or something?" snapped Sideswipe,
glaring at Grimlock angrily.
The poor Dinobot cringed and tried to think of something he could go or say
that would make this all better. "J-just tell me who did it," he pleaded, "I'll
hit 'em and smash 'em for you. Please Sideswipe, I don't like it when you're
like this."
Sideswipe didn't react too kindly to those words. "Do you think I want to be
like this!? You think I'm enjoying this!? Go away Grimlock and leave me alone!"
Grimlock whined sadly and stomped away, leaving Sideswipe all alone. The young
mech sighed heavily and stared up at the heavens, a part of him feeling guilty
for all the hurtful things he said but it was overshadowed by all his self
loathing and hatred. Looking up at the heavens he wondered if anything would be
the same ever again.
___________________________________
Bumblebee couldn't be more relieved when he received a communication from Jazz,
his old war friend. The saboteur explained he had to pop in to see how the
Earth team was doing on behalf of the council and could be there for a few
days. Bumblebee was pleased his friend was coming but also because of the
current situation he really needed help and hopefully Jazz would have answers.
It was also a plus that Sideswipe looked up to Jazz and having him here might
save the scrapyard from the doom and gloom that shrouded it. He didn't want to
burden Jazz with something like this but he truly needed help.
Within half a day he made his appearance outside the base, the smooth talking
mech walking with a smile on his face and beat in his walk. "Jazz you have no
idea how good it is to see you," proclaimed the young leader.
"Nice to see you too Bee," chortled Jazz, giving his friend a high five.
Bumblebee did his best to smile but with the subject at hand it was hard to
wear such a smile. "So... How was the trip?" he asked.
"Cool, except for the flight through the asteroid belt. So many dents to bang
out," replied Jazz as he looked around, "where is the rest of your team?"
"Oh, well Strongarm and Grimlock are on patrol," replied Bumblebee, "Fixit is
sprucing up the security, Russell and Denny are on a week long hiking trip and
Sideswipe is chilling back over there."
Jazz looked in the direction Bumblebee pointed. "I'll go say hi to the kid,"
suggested Jazz but before he could Bumblebee stopped him.
"Jazz... I need to talk to you," pleaded Bumblebee, his optics conveying his
desperation. He lead Jazz to a quiet spot far from certain audios, a place
where he went to think and be alone. He offered Jazz a seat on a pile of rubber
tires, not as comfy as mesh chairs but just as good. Bumblebee did one final
look around before sitting down across from his friend. "Sorry," he said.
"No prob," replied Jazz who was quite curious about seclusion, "what's up Bee?"
Bumblebee finally cracked upon getting asked and his face flooded with
expressions of guilt and regret. "I messed up Jazz, I really messed up. I
failed as a leader and now one of my teammates is suffering because of it."
Jazz raised his hands in a gesture to calm Bumblebee down, his rambling almost
becoming unrecognisable blabbing. "Woah, woah, calm down Bee," pleaded Jazz,
"you never lose your cool like this. Well except that one time but that was a
while ago."
Bumblebee vented a few times before explaining. "Jazz... One of my teammates
got attacked."
"Badly?" asked Jazz. Bumblebee nodded. "Who? Are they ok? I know you haven't
got the best medical facilities, but I do have some on my shuttle I can bring."
"I appreciate it," sighed Bumblebee with a forced smile. "It was Sideswipe who
was attacked and yes, it was bad."
Jazz looked round with concern, hoping he could spot the familiar red frame to
see just how bad he was but he couldn't. "Just how bad are talkin' 'bout? Lost
an arm? Internal damage?" Bumblebee looked like he didn't want to answer.
"Bee?"
Bumblebee inhaled before quietly answering, "someone forced themself on him.
From what I can tell he had been... raped... multiple times."
The air grew unbearably heavy around them and the silence was awful. Jazz, who
had been leaning forward in a relaxed pose, slowly sat up straight and his
chilled personality was replaced with a serious one. He didn't say anything for
a full minute, probably to let it all sink in, but he did eventually ask, "who
did it?" His voice almost sounding as cold as Prowl's, the famous tactician
with a spark as cold as nitrogen.
"He won't tell us," groaned Bumblebee, "he's completely shut himself off from
us. I had to confiscate his sword when he tried to cut himself open because he
thinks he's carrying. We pumped his chamber the moment we got him back but..."
Bumblebee bit his finger. "I don't know what to do Jazz. I absolutely have no
idea what to do. I tried everything Optimus would do but it's not working. All
I know that this is my fault."
Jazz was quiet for a while, inhaling and exhaling deeply and slowly, his large
hands cracking as he clenched them tight. He wasn't showing it but Bumblebee
knew that Jazz was boiling with inner rage. It was something Bumblebee admired
about Jazz for instead of letting his emotions get the better of him he would
take them and keep them in check to avoid hurting others around him. There were
hundreds of situations during the war when he had the right to go into a fit of
rage but he never did, explaining that it would never benefit anyone if he did.
Once he got every inside under control Jazz relaxed once more but kept his tone
serious. "First of Bee, it ain't your fault."
"It is," protested Bumblebee, "he was on heat Jazz. He had no idea he was in
heat and I just let him wander into the Decepticon infested forest in that
condition! If I had told him, he would've taken extra precautions but I... I
just couldn't approach him, I was going to wait when he was off heat."
Jazz frowned. When mechs went on heat the smell they produced would be do
intoxicating it would be impossible to talk to the one producing those smells.
"Bee that don't mean it was your fault," assured Jazz, "it wasn't you who
attacked him." Bumblebee didn't seem convinced. "Ok, start from the beginnin'
Bee," asked Jazz, "what happened that day."
Bumblebee told Jazz everything that had transpired that day, almost a week ago.
How it was awkward to be around Sideswipe because of his heat cycle, how he
wandered off to be alone and when Bumblebee grew concerned with how long the
young mech was taking. The whole team went out to look for him and found him
unconscious with his arms bound and his valve ruined. They didn't see who
committed the atrocity despite trying to search for clues. Strongarm was
convinced it was a Decepticon as she believed only they would do something so
vile. Bumblebee only cared about Sideswipe's health to care about pointing the
finger at someone but no matter what he did or say it didn't help and Sideswipe
alienated himself from the team.
Jazz listened and took it all in. "This isn't going to fix itself overnight
Bee," he said flatly, "and I understand why you want to blame yourself for what
happened, but tryin' to take blame isn't goin' to help Sideswipe." He patted
the yellow mech on the back. "You are his team leader and right now you have to
act like one. He needs to see that you are someone he can depend on 'cause if
you can't it's goin' to hurt you both."
Bumblebee nodded, the advice really helping him. "I just never been in a
situation like this," he sighed, "I try to say the right thing but it doesn't
work."
"Well what do you expect," sighed Jazz, "he's shuttin' himself in on purpose
because right now he thinks he's alone. We gotta coax him out of his shell but
it will take a lot of TLC." Bumblebee nodded in agreement but still appeared
uncertain. Jazz knew Bumblebee was going to struggle whilst managing his team
and dealing with this situation, he was also one mech down. He was a young
inexperienced leader and right now he needed all the help he could get. "Ok,
here's what we'll do," suggested Jazz, "I'll hang for a bit to help out the kid
and you put out a call for that Drift fella to help fill up the empty slot on
your team."
That seemed to had pleased Bumblebee a great deal. "Jazz this means a lot," he
sighed happily but that smile quickly vanished. "I must be really bad at this
if I'm this needy for help."
Jazz gave him a friendly bop on the face. "Even Optimus needed help from
others, it's nothin' to be ashamed of."
Bumblebee released a small chuckle. "You always were an awesome pep talker."
As Jazz rose from his rubber tire seat go find Sideswipe, Bumblebee stopped him
abruptly. "Jazz... There's something else," he muttered, "we pumped Sideswipe's
chamber the moment we got him back to avoid him to carry... but I don't know if
it worked." Bumblebee appeared ashamed again. "I told him repeatedly that he
isn't but he seems convinced that he is. I know it's only been a week but..."
"Say no more," said Jazz, "if it worked then great, if it didn't then it's
somethin' we're gonna have to deal with. Right now the priority is to get
Sideswipe's mental health back in balance."
Bumblebee nodded in agreement and stood up. "I'm going to make a call to
Drift," he said, "I know he's wandering around Earth with his students right
now." Before he turned to leave he gave Jazz the warmest smile he could muster.
"Thanks Jazz."
Once Bumblebee was gone Jazz's calm expression crumbled and he dragged a hand
down his face. "Not again," he murmured to himself. Shaking himself out of the
foul thoughts that nearly consumed him he made his way to where Sideswipe was
hanging out. It didn't take long to find him, spotting his bright red frame
amongst the rust coloured junk around them. He had wedged himself between two
stacks of junk in an attempt to hide himself from the rest of the world.
Jazz could only stare at him with optics full of pity. When he met Sideswipe
for the first time he was full of spunk and personality. A smile that could
make anyone else smile and an attitude that could not be beaten. Now he looked
like a broken down mech who had given up on everything. Jazz felt the inner
rage at the idea someone would do something so cruel to someone like this, but
right now he had to keep it cool for Sideswipe's sake.
He slowly approached and uttered a small cough to announce his presence.
Sideswipe wearily looked up but his expression changed when he saw who was
walking towards him. "W-what? Jazz?" Sideswipe slowly stood up. "When did you
get here?"
"I just got in today," he replied, acting casual and chilled, "nice to see you
again."
Sideswipe just stared at Jazz, his feelings mixed about the veteran's presence.
He rubbed his arms and shuffled a little as if he was trying to think of
something to say. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon," he said, "n-not that
I'm not happy to see you.. it's just.. stuff's been happening and all that."
The uneasiness in his voice was almost unbearable. Jazz knew he was trying to
conceal the truth from him but hiding the fact that he was aware of what had
happened to Sideswipe was just as bad. He took a small step forward. "Look
kid," he sighed, trying to be gentle, "Bumblebee informed me of what
happened..."
Sideswipe's face twisted into an expression of pure horror and shame. He
stepped away from Jazz as his frame shook. "I-I didn't... You... It n-never..."
The poor thing looked like he was about to break down in tears.
Jazz tried to reach for him but Sideswipe swatted his arm away and ran deeper
into the scrapyard. He could only watch as he ran off, leaving Jazz to wonder
if he could help Sideswipe at all.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Jazz walked around the scrapyard trying to find Sideswipe, the young mech now
hiding from the veteran Autobot after revealing his awareness of what happened
to the young mech. He would spot him every now and then but before he could get
to him Sideswipe would run off in another direction, ducking and leaping over
obstacles. Jazz wanted to help Sideswipe but he wasn't keen on playing hide and
seek in a scrapyard all day.
"Kid, let's talk," he called out.
"Leave me alone," shouted Sideswipe, his voice projecting his misery.
"I can't do that," shouted Jazz, catching a glimpse of red armour.
"Yes you can," snapped Sideswipe, "just turn around and go!"
"You need to talk to somebody," argued Jazz, climbing up one of the piles of
scrap metal to get a better vantage point. "Talkin' is the first step you need
to take."
"I don't want to talk," cried Sideswipe.
Jazz followed the voice back to its source and spotted Sideswipe trying to hide
by some scrapped vehicles. The young mech hadn't notice Jazz and the veteran
quickly manoeuvred his way over to the young mech before he was spotted.
"Your team is worried about you kid," shouted Jazz, taking care not to be seen,
"they all blame themselves."
"G-good," snapped Sideswipe, "it is their fault. They let it happen to me!"
"That ain't true kid," argued Jazz, "and you know it!" He rounded a corner and
spotted Sideswipe with his back to him, peeking out from behind some junk. Not
taking a chance, Jazz quickly strode over and reached for Sideswipe's arm, the
young mech reacting too late.
"Let go!" Sideswipe shrieked as Jazz's hand clasped around his arm, smacking it
in an attempt to get it off. "Let me go," he begged, trying to pull himself
free, "j-just leave me alone."
Jazz didn't want to restrain him like this and it wasn't a pleasant sight to
see Sideswipe so desperate to get away from him whilst his face was plastered
with fear and shame, but he had to for the young mech's sake. He stepped a
little closer and used his free hand to gently place it upon Sideswipe's
shoulder. "I just want to talk kid," he asked in more gentle tone.
"N-no," snapped Sideswipe, still trying to yank his arm free.
"I'm not gonna leave 'til we talked," declared Jazz.
"I don't want to," argued Sideswipe.
"It ain't a matter of you wantin' to, it's a matter of you needin' to,"
countered Jazz.
Sideswipe ignored him and continued with his vain attempts to free himself,
smacking and even trying to bite at the hand that held him. Jazz kept his grip
firm but not too firm as he held the young mech, waiting for Sideswipe calm
down. It sounded cruel but Sideswipe needed someone to talk to and constantly
running away wasn't going to solve anything. It only took a few minutes before
Sideswipe gave up and fell to his knees, sobbing almost uncontrollably and
trying to hide his face with his free hand. Jazz released Sideswipe's arm and
knelt down next to him, pulling a polish rag from his sub space and offering it
to him.
"C'mon, dry those optics," pleaded Jazz, not trying to shove the rag in
Sideswipe's face. The young mech sobs became discreet sniffles and he didn't
dare look at Jazz but he did take the rag and wiped his puffy optics. Jazz
waited until Sideswipe had finished sorting himself out before standing back
up. "Can we please have a talk," he asked gently, "and no, I ain't leavin' till
we do."
Sideswipe stared down at the dirt, his shoulders sagging as he realised that he
wasn't going to get the veteran to leave. "What's there to talk about," he
muttered, "I'm sure Bumblebee told you everything."
"Bumblebee is concerned for your wellbeing," said Jazz.
That made Sideswipe glare up at Jazz. "Oh well he didn't care about me when I
wandered into the forest with a condition that made me a target!"
"You can't blame Bumblebee," stated Jazz, "and you can't blame the rest of your
team. They all feel like it's their fault when it ain't."
Sideswipe sniffled again, wiping one of his optics when a tear fell from one.
"What are you saying? That it's my fault?" he stammered.
"Absolutely not," insisted Jazz with a slightly firmer tone, "not you or your
team are to be blamed for this and it ain't gonna help you if you keep findin'
someone to blame and run off." Jazz knelt back down until he was optic level.
"Right now you feel like no one can understand what it's like to be you right
now and you're right, no one can possibly understand what it's like, but
runnin' isn't goin' to make everythin' better."
"And talking helps?" scoffed Sideswipe. "Sorry but I doubt a little chat will
make me feel any better."
"It's a start," assured Jazz, "this won't be easy but gettin' back on track
with your life is a path that is best walked with friends." He stood back up
and offered his hand to Sideswipe. "Ain't we friends?"
Sideswipe did nothing at first but he eventually and reluctantly took hold of
Jazz's hand and allowed him to pull him up. He wiped his optics once more and
shuffled, finding the whole situation to be awkward. Jazz sensed it and chose
to break the silence. "You feel a little better?"
"Would it surprise that my answer is a no?" Sideswipe didn't look Jazz in the
optics, he just kept his head down and his whole frame was slumped.
Jazz knew this wasn't going to be easy but he wasn't planning on giving up any
time soon. "Ok, how 'bout we start nice and slow," he suggested, "tell me how
you feel."
"Are you serious!?" Sideswipe was now looking up but his face was a mixture of
confusion and anger. "How do you think I feel!?"
"Tell me," answered Jazz, "because I don't know how you feel. You sound angry
but for all I know you could actually be sad. You're hidin' your emotions from
me, so just tell me up front," Sideswipe's voice got trapped in his throat and
he appeared a little unsure of what to say. "Take your time," said Jazz softly.
It took a minute but eventually Sideswipe did finally say, "I feel... angry."
"Anything else?" Jazz knew that Sideswipe was feeling more than one emotion
right now.
"Annoyed... Fed up... Sick..." Another tear fell down his cheek and despite his
best efforts he couldn't hold them in. "D-dirty... Used... Broken... I f-feel
like a-..." Sideswipe couldn't hold it in any longer and he started bawling
uncontrollably. "I'm never g-gonna be n-normal again," he sobbed, "everyone
thinks I-I'm weak and d-disgusting!"
"No one thinks you're weak or disgusting," argued Jazz, stepping forward to
wrap an arm round the young mech's shoulder.
"They d-do," wailed Sideswipe, his face now a waterfall of tears and his optics
swollen, "they won't stop t-treating me like a sparkling. They're g-gonna kick
me off the t-team and send me back to Cybertron! They'll treat m-me like a
traitor f-for letting it happen and l-lock me away f-forever!"
"No they won't," said Jazz.
"They will! They'll send m-me away for good!"
As Sideswipe continued to cry and weep and come up with scenarios his deranged
mind thought up, Jazz did nothing but listen to him. The young mech needed to
get all these pent up emotions out and the crying was helping. The sun above
passed overhead and their shadows moved across the ground and soon Sideswipe's
tears were slowing down and his sobs had been reduced to hiccups. The rag Jazz
gave him was completely soaked with his tears, he had to wring it out just to
use it again. Jazz sat and waited, his hand patting Sideswipe on the back in a
soothing manner.
After a few sniffles and a couple of hiccups Sideswipe finally said, "you must
think I'm pathetic too, crying like a sparkling."
Jazz reached for Sideswipe's chin and forced him to look up. "You are not
pathetic," he stated firmly, "cryin' is a healthy way to get rid of all those
negative emotions. It's all a part of the journey you gotta take to feel better
again." Sideswipe sniffed again and his optics darted away from Jazz. "All that
stuff will never happen, alright? All anybody wants to do is help and nothing
else."
Sideswipe wiped his optics with rough hands. "W-will I ever b-be normal again?"
"Only if you want it," answered Jazz, "and everyone here is going to help you.
You'll get there eventually." The young mech wiped his face once more and tried
to stop his sniffling. Jazz decided that they had done enough for now and
Sideswipe needed a break. Continuing would do Sideswipe no good and he needed
some rest. "Why don't you go take a rest and we'll chat later on. We'll tackle
this one step at a time, okay?"
The young mech seemed reluctant at first but he obeyed, his head nodding
awkwardly. Just as he was about to shuffle off to his recharge spot he tried to
hand back the rag to Jazz but the veteran urged him to keep it. Sideswipe
didn't appear grateful but he didn't look upset about it either, he just used
the rag to wipe another tear away before turning around and walking away.
Jazz watched as Sideswipe staggered away. "I'll be right here if you need me,
alright?" shouted Jazz. Sideswipe didn't respond but Jazz knew he heard and
decided to head back over to the rest of the Autobot team.
___________________________
Bumblebee looked relieved as Jazz told him how it went with Sideswipe, all the
worry and stress vanishing from his worn face and he actually put on a genuine
smile. "Jazz you have no idea how happy I am," sighed the yellow mech, "every
time I tried talking to him he would blow up on me."
"It ain't over yet Bee," stated Jazz, not meaning to be a buzz killer but
wanted to keep it real, "he's still a little unstable but I believe with the
right motivation he can get back to the Sideswipe we all know and love."
"So what's next then?" asked the yellow mech.
"I'll keep workin' with him, you just concentrate on workin' with the rest of
your team," answered Jazz, "speakin' of which, did you get a hold of Drift?"
"He hasn't returned my call," sighed Bumblebee appearing concerned, "he could
be on one of those deep meditation training things with his students but I'll
keep trying."
That was a problem. If there was a Decepticon incident that required a big team
then the Autobots were going to suffer. "I don't mind goin' on missions with
you," offered Jazz, "but we gotta consider leavin' the kid unsupervised."
"Fixit had been upgrading security since the incident," informed Bumblebee,
"hopefully in the future we can all walk out of here without needing to worry
about Decepticons sneaking in. Sideswipe should be safe inside until we
return."
Just as Bumblebee finished that sentence the gate to the scrapyard opened and
in walked Strongarm and Grimlock, who was dragging an unconscious and badly
beaten up Decepticon behind him. The femme seemed angry about something and
Grimlock looked a little upset, kicking small stones that he walked passed.
Bumblebee excused himself and went to see what was going on with his other
teammates.
"What happened team," he demanded, using his leader voice he had been
practicing on. It sounded bad but he was still trying.
Strongarm spoke first. "We apprehended the perp but the moment I cuffed him
Grimlock here started throwing punches." She then glared at Grimlock. "He's
lucky I'm not going to charge him with inappropriate apprehension of a
criminal!"
"I was interrogating him," argued Grimlock, dumping the Decepticon before them.
"I thought you said we could do that!"
"You do not have the authority to conduct an interrogation," snapped Strongarm,
"and what you did wasn't an interrogation, that was a smack down!"
"I thought that's what an interrogation was," muttered a stumped Grimlock.
"Guys!" Strongarm and Grimlock almost forgot Bumblebee's presence and suddenly
became silent. Bumblebee first turned his attention to Grimlock. "Grim, why did
you want to interrogate him?"
Grimlock fiddled with his claws and shuffled awkwardly. "I wanted to know if he
was the 'Con who hurt Sideswipe," he explained, his optics darting around in an
attempt to avoid looking at Bumblebee, "b-but it was Strongarm who said we
could interrogate him to find out!"
"When I said interrogate I meant to ask him a series of vocal queries, not
punch him repeatedly," snapped Strongarm. "You knocked him out before we could
even begin!" The Decepticon groaned beneath them and it was Strongarm who
delivered the kick. "Keep quiet," she barked.
"Hey, how come you can hit them but I can't?" snarled Grimlock.
"Because I have the authorisation to do so," argued Strongarm.
Grimlock and Strongarm continued to bicker back and forth between each other,
trying to get the other to take the blame for what happened, until at last
Bumblebee raised his voice. "Cease this inappropriate behaviour at once!" His
loud voice caused Strongarm to stand to attention and Grimlock to jump behind
her in fright. Bumblebee glared at the pair of them. "From now on, you are to
capture the Decepticon and bring it straight back to the base," he ordered, "no
interrogating and no knocking them out cold unless necessary! Understood?"
The two 'Bots nodded furiously and guilt washed over their faces. "It... It was
my idea sir," admitted Strongarm, "I thought he might know who attacked
Sideswipe and-"
She immediately stopped talking when Sideswipe himself walked out into the main
square of the scrapyard, heading over to where the energon was stored. He
glanced up at the four 'Bots and unconscious 'Con and paused. Grimlock, without
warning, kicked the 'Con into a pile of metal beams that fell down and
completely hid the convict from site. Both Strongarm and Grimlock gave
Sideswipe a cheesy wave and smiled awkwardly, acting as if everything was
normal. Sideswipe said nothing back grabbed his energon and shuffled back into
the scrapyard, out of sight. Once he was gone both Grimlock and Strongarm
appeared uneasy as if they just made a huge mistake.
Jazz rolled his optics and approached the other 'Bots. "Guys you gotta relax,"
he said, "this whole act you're pullin' isn't goin' to make anythin' progress."
"W-when did you get here?" Strongarm has only just noticed Jazz.
"He was here the whole time," said Grimlock, earning another glare from the
femme.
"Thanks for telling," she muttered.
"Can I continue?" Once there was silence Jazz continued. "Ok I was only here to
give the council a report but Bee told me what happened-" both Strongarm and
Grimlock twisted their faces in shame as if they were to blame for everything
that had transpired of late "-so I'm stickin' around to help out the workload
and to help out with Sideswipe. All I ask is if you give him a lil' space and
drop the pity act, it ain't helpin'. Just act normal around him as best you
can, alright?"
Bumblebee nodded in agreement. "And no more interrogations, alright? We're a
team and that means we got to act like one. Alright?"
Strongarm seemed uncomfortable but nodded as well and Grimlock asked, "instead
of throwing punches can I just ask?"
"Grimlock," snapped Bumblebee in a disapproving tone, causing the Dinobot to
whine. So Strongarm walked off to file the report and Grimlock went off to dig
up the 'Con he kicked under a pile of junk, leaving Jazz and Bumblebee alone.
Bumblebee looked a little uncertain once again and he looked over at Jazz with
concern. "Sorry about that."
"It's fine," stated Jazz, "it effects everyone." And Jazz knew that from
experience alone.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     I should point out that the romance between Sideswipe and Jazz will
     be hinted, not forced
Sideswipe couldn't sleep, even as the stars started to vanish and the sky was
slowly turning pink and gold blended together. He had been laying in the same
spot for hours and hours but had been unable to recharge, for every time he
closed his optics he saw him.
"Yous are such a dirty slut!"
Bolting up Sideswipe heaved heavily, almost certain he had that voice spoken
directly into his audio. He looked around but he was still alone in his
secluded spot of the scrapyard. The morning birds were chirping and the wind
blew overhead, just another calm morning on Earth.
"He's not here, he's not here," he told himself over and over, "he can't get
in, I'm safe, he can't get me, he can't get me," he kept chanting these words
over and over, hoping that the words could actually convince himself that it
was all true.
He climbed off of his makeshift berth and went for a walk, heading towards the
large signpost where the Autobots like to climb up to either think or be alone.
He climbed all the way to the top and settled down, watching as the sun slowly
rose over the human city on the horizon. He came up here once before but didn't
find the view appealing and instead used the signpost to practise his jumps,
but now all he could do was stare at it. It was pretty and the sunrise enhanced
its beauty, almost reminding him of home. Sideswipe sighed as he thought of his
home planet. If he hadn't left none of this would have happened...
"Jazz told me to stop trying to find someone to blame," he huffed. He really
did want to blame Strongarm for dragging him here or Bumblebee for failing to
warn him, but Jazz was right for none of them could predict what would happen.
Pulling out the rag Jazz leant him Sideswipe stared at it for a moment. He
wasn't expecting his favourite Autobot veteran to show up all of a sudden. He
panicked when Jazz revealed he knew what happened and fled in shame. Jazz could
had just left him alone but he chased after him, refusing to leave him be. The
stuff he said helped a little but not a great deal. All these negative feelings
were still present and the disgusting sensation was still looming all over his
body.
He looked down at his belly once more, running a single hand over it.
"Maybe you'll make a good breeder for my brothers... That is after yous gives
me my sparklin', o' course!"
Sideswipe felt sick again and suppressed the urge to purge. "Bumblebee said he
pumped my chamber," he told himself, "I'm not carrying, I'm not carrying, I'm
not." But what if it didn't work? What if Bumblebee was too late and right now
a sparkling was growing inside of him? He cursed the fact they didn't have
proper medical facilities here on Earth. All he could was cling to the hope
that he wasn't carrying.
His hand left his belly but slid further down until it rested above his
interface panel. In the past, before coming to Earth, he had looked at his
valve out of curiosity. After what happened in the forest and when he got some
privacy from the others, Sideswipe looked again and was distraught with how
damaged it was. Fixit tried to explain that it would get better in time but
unfortunately the scars would remain. A tear formed and he used Jazz's rag to
wipe the tear away.
"Hey up there!"
Sideswipe looked down and saw Jazz waving up to him. Sideswipe awkwardly waved
back but said nothing. "Can I join you?" shouted Jazz. Sideswipe wanted to be
alone but he had a feeling Jazz would try and to convince to let him up. "Ok,"
he called out weakly.
Jazz climbed up the signpost swiftly and plopped himself next to Sideswipe, his
face bearing an energetic smile. "Wow, now this is a view," he sighed as he
stared off into the horizon, "you come up here often? I bet you do just to look
at this everyday."
"Y-yeah," lied Sideswipe, slightly uncomfortable with how casual Jazz was with
him.
There was silence for a moment before Jazz spoke again. "Did you rest well?"
"Yeah, I did," lied Sideswipe yet again.
"Good, good," said Jazz, "got any plans for today?"
Plans? "What do you mean?" asked Sideswipe a little confused.
"I asked if you had anythin' planned for today?" repeated Jazz still smiling.
Sideswipe hadn't thought about it. In fact since the incident all he did all
day was mope, inspect his belly out of paranoia, and then mope some more.
Strongarm volunteered to take on all his duties and Bumblebee hadn't jobbed him
off once.
"I was just going to sit up here and... think for a bit," answered Sideswipe.
"Then what?" asked Jazz.
Sideswipe wasn't sure. He was too scared to leave the safety of the scrapyard,
all the jobs had been split between Bumblebee, Grimlock, Strongarm and Fixit,
and Russell and Denny weren't coming back until their hike was over. There was
absolutely nothing for him to do other than to mope around.
"I-I don't know," he finally answered, "just sit around some more, I guess."
Jazz made a "tsk" sound and put a hand to his chin in thought. "Ok, so what did
you enjoy doin' when you weren't workin'?"
"A lot of things," responded Sideswipe.
"Like?" Jazz now looked interested and shuffled a little closer.
Sideswipe fiddled with his hands. "I liked to find a wide open space so I can
just burn my wheels," confessed the young mech.
"Do you wanna do that then?" suggested Jazz with a grin.
"N-no," muttered Sideswipe miserably, "I don't wanna leave the base.
Jazz said "oh" and tried to think of something else. "Ok, what did you do for
fun around here?"
Oh there were a lot of things he loved to do around here to kill his boredom.
Pranking Strongarm, causing mischief for Bumblebee, playing games with
Grimlock... Sadly he couldn't really find the motivation to do any of those
things. "I do like listening to music," he confessed, the only thing he could
think of that didn't involve anyone else.
"Music huh?" Jazz looked intrigued. "Bee did tell me that Earth had some unique
music, you got a recommendation?"
"A few b-but I-" before Sideswipe could finish Jazz started climbing back down
the signpost. "C'mon kid, enlighten me," demanded the veteran in a cheerful
tone.
Sideswipe huffed as he watched Jazz climb down and knew that if he didn't go
with him he was only going to come back up and force him. Slowly but surely
Sideswipe climbed down the high perch and joined Jazz at the bottom, leading
him to where he kept some of his prized possessions including his audio-phones.
He hadn't touched them since the incident so they were a little dusty.
He turned them on to one of his favourite tracks and handed them to Jazz. "This
one is a good one," insisted Sideswipe despite not sounding motivated, "it was
the first Earth song I heard."
Jazz put them on but immediately cringed and pulled them off. "That was
certainly unique," he gagged, forcing a smile but unable to hide his disgust.
"You don't like it?" Sideswipe assumed Jazz would be in to that kind of music.
"There are other tracks on there, if you want..."
Jazz decided to take Sideswipe up on the offer and he put the audio-phones back
on and changed the track, but every song he listened to made him grimace. "I
forget that Bee and I don't exactly have the same taste in music," huffed Jazz,
rubbing his audios as if to try and erase what he heard.
Sideswipe did feel awkward but a part of him grew curious. "What kind of music
do you like then?"
That question seemed to had pleased Jazz. "It might be somethin' you're not
accustomed to but trust me it's good. It's nice and smooth and relaxin',
perfect music in my opinion. You ever heard of electric swing?" Sideswipe shook
his head in response. "It's cool, I gotcha covered, lucky for you I keep some
playlists on hand," chuckled Jazz. The veteran then reached for his helm and
pulled out an audio jack. He then appeared concerned and asked, "you don't
mind, do you?"
Sharing an audio jack with someone didn't bother Sideswipe a great deal for he
used to do it with his old friends back home, it was just a different way to
share and listen to music. "I don't mind," he said.
"Alright," sighed Jazz with relief, "but we gotta do this right." Walking over
to a not-so-dirty patch of ground he sat down and patted the area next to him,
ushering Sideswipe to join him. Sideswipe felt a little reluctant but he did
join Jazz upon the floor, sitting next to him cross legged. "Alright, now lie
back," instructed Jazz, laying back himself. Once again Sideswipe was reluctant
but he slowly forced himself to lay next to the veteran.
He tilted his head to look over at him. "I thought we were listening to music?"
muttered Sideswipe.
"We're gonna," promised Jazz, "but you gotta get cosy first." He then pulled
the jack from his helm and passed it to Sideswipe. "Just plug it in and relax."
Sideswipe sighed and reached for the jack, taking it from Jazz's hand and
inserting it into the audio port under his audio fin. He heard the faint static
and popping noise as it synced with his systems. "Alright it's in," he
confirmed.
Within moments of saying those words a tune filled his audio receptors. It
wasn't upbeat and loud like the music he enjoyed listening to, it was slow and
gentle but also sounded smooth and easy, the kind of music he had never
listened to before. He didn't not like it but he wasn't entirely sure what to
think of it. He couldn't deny that the music he was listening to was helping
him feel more relaxed than normal and as it continued to play he actually found
it interesting to listen to. Jazz made a relaxed sound and folded his arms
behind his helm as he listened to the music alongside and he really looked
relaxed. Sideswipe merely let his hands rest upon his abdominal plating and
stared up towards the blue sky. He felt his optics close as the music helped
him fall into a peaceful slumber.
-------------------------
It had been three days since Jazz arrived on Earth and he was completely
focused on Sideswipe's recovery. He started slow at first, trying to get
Sideswipe comfortable being around others which was a little difficult so Jazz
had to get the others involved. Jazz managed to convince Bumblebee to task
Sideswipe on some light duties, such as polishing some Earth antiques for their
human hosts and tidying up certain areas of the scrapyard. The young leader
tried to act professional around Sideswipe when giving these jobs but he still
used a very light tone with him. Strongarm still couldn't get close to
Sideswipe without running off and Grimlock didn't know what to say. This whole
ordeal didn't just affect Sideswipe; everyone on the team was affected.
Jazz would give Sideswipe space when needed but always came back to chat with
him and try to get involved in activities the others took part in. He would
observe him in secret just to see how he was coping and report it back to
Bumblebee. Every evening Jazz would sit with Sideswipe and ask him if he wanted
to talk about what happened, and Sideswipe would either change the topic or
ignore the request entirely. Jazz didn't expect to get anything out of
Sideswipe this early but he kept trying, knowing that it made things a little
better when you talk to someone about your troubles.
On the fourth day Jazz had to go to his shuttle to collect some medical
equipment and send a report to the council. He offered to take Sideswipe but
the red mech refused for obvious reasons so the veteran ended up travelling
with Grimlock through the forest. Bumblebee wanted everyone travelling in pairs
for now and Jazz didn't mind having the sturdy Dinobot as a travelling
companion, and he thought that this would be a good time to get to know the ex
convict. From what he heard Grimlock was an interesting 'Bot once you got to
know him.
"Bee tells me you're a wreckin' ball on the field," chortled Jazz, trying to
get a conversation started. "You could pound a 'Con flat without even tryin'."
"I guess," mumbled Grimlock, kicking a fallen log out of his path.
Jazz could tell something was up with Grimlock, even without asking. "You
alright big fella?"
Grimlock made another agitated sound. "I just feel awful 'bout Sideswipe,"
mumbled the Dinobot, "I feel like I shoulda done something, anything."
"Grim, we discussed this," said Jazz with a reassuring smile, "none of this was
your fault or Bee's fault or Strongarm's fault, not even Fixit's fault."
Grimlock looked like he was trying to say something but couldn't get the words
out. He tried to speak but every time he tried his voice got trapped in his
throat. Jazz guessed he needed help. "Got somethin' you want to say?"
It took a few more attempts before Grimlock finally spoke. "I... I almost
jumped him," he admitted bitterly, "when his heat came on I almost threw myself
at him. I did everything I could to hold back but every time he walked past me
I.. I almost lost it." The poor Dinobot, out of frustration, punched a thick
tree clean from the ground. He then fell onto his rear with face full of shame.
"You must think I'm horrible. I'm just as bad as the 'Con who hurt the poor
kid." Grimlock looked like he was about to cry.
Jazz gave Grimlock a pat on his broad arms. "Grim you shouldn't feel bad about
somethin' like that," he assured, "if anythin' you proved that you are a
genuinely good 'Bot."
Grimlock looked down at Jazz confused. "Good!? But I almost attacked Sideswipe!
The scent he gave off almost drove me insane! Whenever he was around all I
could think about was f-fragging him!"
"But you didn't," said Jazz, "you could've but you didn't. If you truly didn't
care about Sideswipe then you wouldn't had held back. You Dinobots do have a
bad rep on actin' on primal instinct, no offense, but you, Grimlock you chose
not to act and instead you held back for Sideswipe's sake." He patted Grimlock
a few more times. "That dirty fragger who hurt the kid didn't hold back Grim,
he didn't care. You cared and that means you are a 100 times better than they
are."
"But I thought about it," whined Grimlock, "doesn't that mean I'm bad anyway?"
"We all get impure thoughts sometimes," said Jazz, "it's decidin' on wether to
act on those thoughts that make us either good or bad. Did you think they were
bad thoughts at the time?"
"Yeah," admitted Grimlock.
"Why did you think they were bad?" asked Jazz.
"Well... I knew Sideswipe wouldn't like it if I just grabbed him," continued
Grimlock, "he'd get angry at me if I did."
"You see," exclaimed Jazz with a grin, "you put Sideswipe's feelin's first
before your own. If that don't prove how good you are I don't know what'll."
Grimlock sniffled a little but the words seemed to have gotten through to him.
"Feelin' better?"
Grimlock stood back up and rubbed his olfactory sensor. "I'll only feel better
when I punch the fragger who hurt him," he declared, "and then punch him some
more until there ain't nothing left to punch!"
"You and me both," agreed Jazz, the words causing Grimlock to grin.
Just like Bumblebee told him; Grimlock looked fierce and acted like a brute,
but in truth he was a kind and considerate Autobot in the making. He truly did
care for the wellbeing his teammates and he did try despite his dimwitted
nature. The incident with Sideswipe clearly affected him deeply and it was
understandable for Bumblebee had mentioned the two were good friends. Sideswipe
once defended Grimlock when he was being controlled by a Decepticon when
everyone else believed he had returned to his dark roots, and to this day
Grimlock was forever indebted to the young Autobot. All he cares about was
getting his friend back to the way he used to be.
As the pair of them continued with their trek Grimlock then said, "you're
really good at this whole thing, ain't cha? Helping 'Bots who got hurt bad."
Jazz hid a frown and quietly mumbled, "I wish I weren't."
***** Chapter 4 *****
It was his fifth day on Earth and Jazz had been doing his best to help with
Sideswipe, the young mech still recovering from his ordeal. Thankfully Jazz's
efforts hadn't been in vain and slowly but surely Sideswipe was coming out of
his shell. He spoke to others but not in his usual way, still the Autobots were
just happy that Sideswipe was now speaking with them. Unfortunately the topics
Sideswipe chose to converse in were touchy subjects, the one that was
constantly brought up was about the possibility that Sideswipe was carrying.
Bumblebee still wouldn't dare share his doubt that the pumping of Sideswipe's
chamber possibly failed, but he did try to be honest about what happen. If
Sideswipe was indeed carrying then he would have to return to Cybertron to deal
with it, no questions asked. This only drove Sideswipe's paranoia over the top
and he checked himself in the mirror every chance he got. Grimlock did try to
take Sideswipe's mind off the whole thing by getting the red mech to watch TV
shows with him, the Earth programs assisting in making Sideswipe forget what
was bothering him.
Jazz thought that maybe it would be best to talk flat out to Sideswipe about
the whole thing, knowing that the young mech did deserve to know what his
options were. Since the war ended and the council took over, young Autobots
hadn't been getting the proper education when it came to breeding and heat
cycles. It would be easy to blame them, if Sideswipe had knowledge of his first
heat cycle then he would have taken precautions but Jazz knew too well that
trying to find someone to blame solved nothing. So as the day drew to a close
he offered to chat with the young mech in private.
"Before we begin I jus' wanna point out that if you get uncomfortable at
anytime, we can stop," explained Jazz, "that cool?"
Sideswipe nodded in response. "I don't suppose you know much about the early
signs of carrying, do you?" he suddenly asked.
"Sorry I can't tell wether you are or not until you get a proper scan," sighed
Jazz. He did try to bring the medical scanner he had on his shuttle but it was
welded tight to the deck and if he had Grimlock tear it up the council may
never let him use one ever again. "We can go and get you checked out now if you
want?"
The young mech still appeared uncomfortable about leaving the safety of the
base and Jazz wasn't going to force him. "Just tell me what I don't know...
Please," muttered Sideswipe.
Jazz was about to start when someone suddenly wheeled themselves up. "If you
don't mind the delusion... seclusion... INTRUSION! I have some knowledge on the
subject at hand." Fixit skidded to a halt next to Jazz, the minicon looking
determined to assist. "I downloaded an entire medical data base into my hard
drive so I am confident to assist you."
Though he was merely a warden for a prison ship Fixit did hold some medical
knowledge in that small head of his. Jazz welcomed the help, at least having
someone with qualified medical knowledge could help in this situation. "I'm
cool with it, you cool with it kid?"
Before Sideswipe could answer there was a noticeable cough. Looking over his
shoulder Jazz spotted Strongarm standing nearby, the enforcer trying to act
casual. "I do not mean to intrude but if it is alright with all of you, I'd
like to take part in this lecture."
It then dawned on Jazz that Strongarm was around Sideswipe's age, if not a
little older. If that were the case, then like Sideswipe she never got the
education about her own heat cycles. It was clear that no one wanted a repeat
of the terrible incident and Strongarm had every right to know. Hopefully
Sideswipe wouldn't mind including her. "The more the merrier," said Jazz with a
smile.
Strongarm's door wings perked up upon receiving the invite and she sat
crosslegged next to a bewildered looking Sideswipe. The red mech looked a
little uncomfortable with all the extra company but he didn't say anything and
instead focused on Jazz, his determination to understand what was happening
with his body was his primary concern. Jazz could only hope he would be able to
teach them all that they needed to know and that they would understand.
"Alright kids, let's start with the basics," started Jazz, unable to hide a
smirk when Strongarm pulled out her data pad to take notes. "Now when you young
'Bots reach a certain age, your body undergoes some changes-"
"The exact age when a normal Cybertronian is ready to breed is 17.654 mega-
cycles," blurted Fixit, "late gloomers... I mean shoomers... I mean bloomers,
are common but-"
"THANK you Fixit," said Jazz loudly, "so yeah, once you reached 17 mega cycles
or whatever your body is ready to breed and carry a sparklin'." Jazz noticed
Sideswipe get a little fidgety when he mentioned that particular word. "Now the
first thing you'll notice is this strange sensation you get around your
interfacin' equipment. This is a sign that your first heat is comin' on."
"Is it like an itch?" asked Strongarm, raising her arm.
"It's more like a warm sensation," described Jazz, "I guess it's kinda like an
itch."
"I see," mumbled Strongarm as she took some notes.
"The warm sensation is created when your chamber has made internal preparations
to receive transfluids from whomever you-"
"FIXIT thanks," blurted Jazz, keeping an optic on Sideswipe. Strongarm's face
turned a shade of pink after hearing that. "So yes, your first heat cycle is
also a sign to tell you your chamber is ready to carry. You also end up
creatin' a scent that potential mates pick up. It's another way of your body
tellin' everyone that you're ready to have a sparklin'."
Sideswipe was about to say something but Strongarm cut him off. "So our bodies
just release this smell and we can't do anything about it!?" She looked
mortified. "What if I don't want to breed? What if I don't want a sparklin'?"
"Oh don't worry, there are devices that can be used to stop the heat scent from
attractin' unwanted attention." Jazz bit his lip upon saying those words,
noticing the foul look on Sideswipe's face. "S-so these devices or software
programs are designed to halt the heat scent and to avoid bearin' a sparklin'.
That way you can interface to your sparks content without fear of carryin'."
"Most items have been deemed sacrilegious to the Primus fate, as it's believed
that no matter how you came to carry you-"
"THANKS FIXIT, I got it," hissed Jazz through his teeth. Jazz was starting to
regret allowing Fixit to join in as everything he uttered made Sideswipe look
uncomfortable. "Now you can keep track of your heat cycles and it'll help you
predict when your next one is."
As Strongarm took a note of that, Sideswipe finally spoke. "How do you know if
you are carrying? I mean can a interface fail... s-sometimes?"
Before Jazz could answer, Fixit butted in. "It all depends on how much
transfluids your chamber took, a successful breed can occur if the chamber has
been filled multiple primes... oh sorry I meant chimes... dang I meant-"
"FIXIT PLEASE!" Jazz had to raise his voice so loud it caused some nearby birds
to flee their nests.
"But it's imperative that Sideswipe knows so we can prepare for a new edition
to our group, and we also need to know what kind of mech the sire is so we can-
"
"FIXIT!"
"B-but-"
Jazz gave Fixit a look so stern it made Strongarm shudder. Fixit meant well but
he seemed to be forgetting that Sideswipe was still very sensitive about the
whole topic and it needed to be delivered in a careful manner, something the
minicon was having difficulty doing. The veteran then motioned Fixit to zip it,
the minicon slumping miserably. Unfortunately it got a little too much for
Sideswipe and he excused himself to get some space. Jazz let him go knowing
that trying to call him back would be pointless. Strongarm seemed to feel
guilty about the whole thing while Fixit remain oblivious.
"Was it something I said?" pondered the minicon aloud.
--------------------------
After the little disaster with the makeshift classroom Sideswipe had been
sitting alone for sometime. From what Jazz could tell he seemed to be in deep
thought and he decided to leave him alone for a while. In the meantime he did
inform Strongarm a few more things about heat cycles and breeding requirements
and what she needed to do to if her heat came on in a tricky situation. She was
grateful and vowed to put them all to practise. Bumblebee also had a chat with
Fixit, the minicon only now realising that the things he said had upset
Sideswipe. He didn't mean too but Bumblebee suggested that Fixit let Jazz
handle Sideswipe for now when it came to the sensitive subject.
"He really does look up to you Jazz," said Bumblebee, able to find sometime to
talk with his old friend.
"Eh, I'm just another soldier who everyone thinks is a legend," chuckled Jazz
modestly.
"I mean it," assured Bumblebee, "he apparently got into sword fighting because
of your legacy."
That made Jazz blush a little. "He's a good kid, and I'll bet someday he'll
become a legend himself."
Bumblebee smiled at the idea but his earlier fear was still present. "Jazz,
when will you return to Cybertron?"
"The council are gettin' on my case," sighed Jazz, "so maybe in a couple of
days." Jazz didn't like the idea of leaving but he was here on official council
business and the council wanted him to return on the arranged date, otherwise
they'd never let Jazz leave for Earth again. Even if Jazz told them about the
situation the council wouldn't care.
"And that machine on your ship can definitely scan 'Bots and see if they are
carrying?" Bumblebee's fear that his attempt to prevent Sideswipe from carrying
was still very much present.
"It should do, Ratchet said any device like that can work," responded Jazz.
Bumblebee's face turned into a serious expression, almost similar to how
Optimus looked when he was about to deliver unwanted news. "Jazz we've got to
get Sideswipe scanned before you go."
Jazz was more than happy to, only the problem was with getting Sideswipe to his
shuttle. "The kid is scared 'bout leavin' the base and I can't dock that thing
any closer without alertin' the humans," sighed the veteran.
"I know, I know," sighed Bumblebee, "but we don't know when you're coming back
and we don't have a ship or a space bridge to take us back to Cybertron. It
could be months before the council bothers to send another Autobot to check on
us." The young leader was conflicted with himself. "If it turns out that
Sideswipe is indeed carrying, then he has to go with you. He has to return to
Cybertron."
It almost sounded like a death sentence the way he said it. It was Autobot
nature to feel at home in their new post no matter what they think. The team
was like a family you never wanted to leave. Telling Sideswipe that he would
have to leave would destroy him.
"I'm not saying I don't want him here anymore," stated Bumblebee, "but Earth is
no place for a 'Bot in that condition. If he is carrying then Cybertron has the
facilities he needs, if he wants to terminate or keep it. He also needs
professional help, I know it sounds harsh but if he can't cope being on a
Decepticon infested planet then he needs to leave until his confidence
returns."
Bee was right. Only Cybertron had the facilities that Sideswipe needed if he
was carrying and to help him overcome his trauma. If he chose to keep it then
there was a great program in Iacon where young mech's and femmes were offered
all the support they needed. If he chose to get rid of it there was a planned
sire-hood centre for that sort of thing and came with a good aftercare program.
Jazz could only do so much, he wasn't a pro at this.
The only problem was telling Sideswipe.
"I'll try askin' him again, to make the trip to my shuttle," offered Jazz,
knowing that this wasn't going to go down well at all, "I'll ask him later on
tonight."
Bumblebee was relieved, unhappy but relieved. "I knew being a leader was
tough," sighed the young leader, "Optimus made it look so easy."
"You're not doin' too bad for a first timer," chuckled Jazz.
After the chat with Bumblebee, Grimlock approached and announced that he was
holding a special film night and he wanted everyone to join in. Russell the
human apparently had an interesting movie collection and there was one movie
that Grimlock believed would make everyone laugh and feel giddy. Jazz was quite
curious about human entertainment and accepted the invite. Grimlock also asked
it Jazz could ask Sideswipe to join in to which Jazz agreed to.
Jazz was worried that Sideswipe would refuse but to his joy Sideswipe accepted
the invite without hesitation, meaning that he was now finally comfortable
being around his team. He admitted that he still had a lot on his mind in
regards to the lesson earlier on but believed some silly human movie would make
him feel a little at ease.
Once night set in Sideswipe approached the diner to find the other Autobots all
ready to go and watch the movie. Fixit was setting up the projector and
Grimlock had a huge oil drum filled with snacks to feast on. Jazz waved him
over to a makeshift couch and soon the whole team was seated and watched as the
movie began.
"So this is a comedy, right?" queried Strongarm, "the music is a little intense
for something intended to make the audience laugh."
"It's called the last laugh," stated Grimlock, "so it's gotta be."
"Grim, just because it has the word "laugh" in the title doesn't mean it's a
comedy," sighed Bumblebee.
"It doesn't?" Jazz actually thought that it was comedy despite the name.
"Oh... So what are we watching?" mumbled Grimlock.
"I think this is one of those noir films," said Sideswipe suddenly.
To hear Sideswipe speaking to them in his almost casual tone brought about
relief for the Autobots that they almost forgot to respond.
"O-oh yeah, I love those films," stuttered Strongarm, "even if they overact."
"I just hope it's a good one," sighed Bumblebee.
"Doesn't noir mean black in another human language?" asked Fixit.
"Shh, it's starting," whispered Jazz.
The film they were watching told the story of a human detective in a vast city
who was determined to bring justice to the corrupted world. Bumblebee pointed
out that the detective reminded him of Nightbeat, a famous Autobot detective,
only the one on the screen was far too mopey. Strongarm complained about the
female romantic interest, stating how she should know better then to get
involved in the life of crime. Grimlock adored the fighting scenes and the
painful drama that unfolded whilst Fixit still had trouble understanding simple
human terms.
Sideswipe thought the movie was indeed terrible but he enjoyed the familiar
sensation of being around his teammates during these activities. He also
couldn't deny that sitting next to Jazz was one of the best things that could
ever happen to him. For so long he had admired Jazz and hoped to be like him,
even hoping that they could be friends. The fact that Jazz chose to extend his
stay just to help him made him feel a little better about himself. He just
wished that they could've grown closer under different circumstances.
"Oh great, she's throwing herself at him," groaned Strongarm, still watching
the film despite how ridiculous it was getting.
Sideswipe watched as the female romantic interest was leaning against the
doorway of the detective's office in an over the top seductive manner. "Oh
Lance," she gasped, "how I want you to take me away from all this!"
"Then come away with me Scarlet," pleaded the detective, "leave this festering
cesspool with me. We'll move to the country and start a life together."
"Oh how I love to Lance, but I can't!" The female posed dramatically as the
music kicked in to sell the scene.
Grimlock gasped in shock whilst everyone else rolled their optics, except for
Fixit who was enjoying it. "I'm not the only one who's noticin' that she keeps
sayin' oh at the start of every sentence, right?" asked Jazz.
"Shhhh," hissed Grimlock.
"Tell me Scarlet, why?" begged the detective as he himself put on an unbearable
dramatic pose, "why won't you leave? Is there... another man?"
"Oh Lance, you are the only man for me," declared the female.
"Awww," cooed Grimlock.
"See!" shouted Jazz.
"Shhhhhhh!" hissed Grimlock once again.
The scene continued. "But the reason I cannot leave with you Lance is... I'm
pregnant!"
Grimlock gasped even louder, Bumblebee groaned at the disappointing plot line
and Strongarm muttered at how terrible it was. Jazz didn't know the word the
female used and leaned over to ask Sideswipe, "what does pregnant mean? Is that
like a human illness?"
Sideswipe had been on Earth long enough to know what it meant. "It's a human
term for carrying," he answered softly.
"Oh," Jazz mumbled. He appeared concerned but Sideswipe gently smiled back to
show he was cool with it, allowing the veteran to relax and continue watching
the film.
"Scarlet it can't be! I refuse to believe," wailed the detective dramatically.
"Oh Lance forgive me," sobbed the female.
"Who is the father Scarlet? I must know," demanded the detective.
"What's a father?" asked Jazz in a hushed voice.
"It's like a sire," whispered Sideswipe.
"SHHHHH!" hissed Grimlock, even louder than before.
"Oh if I told you Lance, you'd never forgive me," wailed the female.
"Tell me Scarlet!" wailed the detective.
The door to the detective's office was suddenly kicked open and in walked
another human with slick black hair and a very sharp suit, the obvious villain
of the film.
"That would be me detective," announced the new human.
No one else noticed it but Sideswipe found that the villain's voice sounded all
too familiar and it sent chills throughout his frame.
"Yous got some nerve detective, comin' here and stealin' my property," snarled
the villain.
"Don Linguini! You villainous cur," growled the detective.
"If yer know what's good fer yer detective, you'd shut yer trap," barked the
villain, chewing a large organic cy-gar.
"Oh Marco, don't hurt him," cried the female.
"Shut it yer two timin' broad," spat the villain, "you're gonna march your
traitorous behind to my limo if yer know what's good fer yer!"
The voice matched almost perfectly. Sideswipe tried not to think about it but
every time the villain spoke he heard the voice of his attacker. He started to
feel sick and uncomfortably warm, but he didn't want to leave and cause a scene
so he tried to endure it.
"She doesn't belong to you Don," announced the detective.
"I beg to differ," sneered the villain, "she's pregnant with my kid see, an'
that kid is my property, ergo she belongs to me!"
"Oh Lance," sobbed the female.
"Quit yer cryin' and get back to car," barked the villain, "like it or not
babe, I own you! As long as that thing is growin' inside of yer, you belong to
me now and forever!"
Sideswipe couldn't take it anymore. He quickly rose from where he say, causing
the other Autobots to look up out of concern. "I-I'm gonna call it a night," he
said before striding off to his private area.
The Autobots seemed to had believed that he was tired and allowed him to leave
with no fuss. Sideswipe crawled into his berth and tried to sleep, hoping that
the recharge would make him forget.
---------------------------------
Sideswipe opened his optics and found himself standing outside a large door.
Confused and with no other place to go he pushed open the door and peered in.
He found himself in a very snazzy looking office with furniture made from
organic material. There was a stench of flavoured fumes and the sound of a
ticking clock. He stepped further in, the door closing behind him, and
approached the desk with someone sitting behind it with his back to him.
"Hello?" announced Sideswipe.
The chair slowly spun round and revealed, much to Sideswipe's surprise, Jazz
with a nonchalant expression. "How ya doin' kid?"
"Jazz? What are you doing here? Where are we?" Sideswipe was now even more
confused.
Jazz rose from where he sat, walked round his desk and approached Sideswipe.
Without warning he pulled the young mech into an embrace, one arm wrapping
round his back and the other taking a grip of his hand. Sideswipe felt his face
blush as Jazz leaned in. "Come away with me kid. Leave this cesspool with me,"
pleaded Jazz, his voice almost overwhelming Sideswipe.
"L-leave? W-where would we go?" Sideswipe couldn't feel his legs.
Jazz leaned in even closer. "Beyond eternity," he whispered.
Sideswipe felt his spark flutter as Jazz pleaded with him to go. He wanted to
say yes, he wanted Jazz to carry him away, far away from all his worries and
fears, to a place where he could feel safe and never fear to be hurt again. He
wanted this very moment to last forever.
He was about to give his answer when something latched onto his other hand.
"Where do yer think yer goin' kid!?"
Sideswipe spun round and to his horror found Thunderhoof standing right behind
him with a firm hold on his arm. The Decepticon grinned wickedly as his grip
tightened and the office around them was transformed into a nightmarish
landscape. How did he get here? Sideswipe was too scared to ask and he tried to
shake his arm free. "L-let go," he screamed. He looked back to Jazz for help
but the veteran was gone.
"It's jus' you and me kid," gloated the Decepticon, dragging Sideswipe closer
and closer towards him.
Digging his feet into the ground, Sideswipe desperately tried to free himself.
"Get away," he cried, his strength was fading fast.
"You belong to me kid," cackled Thunderhoof, pointing towards Sideswipe's
belly, "as long as that thing inside yer is growin', you'll be my property
forever!"
Looking down at his body in horror, Sideswipe watched as black goo started to
ooze from the seams of his abdominal plating. Chains started wrapping
themselves around his limbs and when he looked back up at Thunderhoof the
Decepticon had transformed into a nightmarish version of himself.
"Yous are mine!" It laughed wickedly as it lunged towards Sideswipe.
---------------------------------
Sideswipe bolted from where he laid and flung his arms around like mad. He
vented fast and heavily, coolant dripping from his frame. Looking around
frantically it took him a minute to find that he was still inside the scrapyard
on Earth. Once his spark had settled he relaxed back onto his berth and sighed
with relief.
"It was just a nightmare," he muttered to himself.
He ran his hands down to his belly, still unable to tell if he was carrying or
not. The words from his nightmare continued to echo in his mind. Thunderhoof
was a typical Decepticon at the end of the day and like any other Decepticon, a
sparkling was more important to them than energon for it either meant slave
labour or new recruits.
Jumping out of his berth he quickly made his way to the main square to find
Jazz finishing off some energon. The veteran spotted him and waved. "Mornin'
kid," he called, "sleep well?"
Sideswipe stopped before Jazz and took s deep vent. "Jazz, can you take me to
your ship so I can get scanned, please?"
***** Chapter 5 *****
Jazz had never realised how beautiful the organic forest was until now. The
lush green leaves, the sturdy trunks of the the trees and the colourful flowers
that littered the very ground he treaded upon. Curious organic animals would
come out and stare at them, their fluffy and feathery bodies were beautiful to
look at. He took care not to tread on anything delicate as he trekked through
this green world.
"Makes me wish we had stuff like this back home," chuckled Jazz, taking it all
in.
He looked over his shoulder and his smile sank. Sideswipe was not appreciating
the beautiful organic forest at all, he was cowering behind Jazz and
desperately trying to hide in between his door wings. Jazz could understand why
but he insisted that Sideswipe had nothing to fear as long as he was around
with his enhanced Decepticon sensor.
"Trust me kid, ain't nothin' gonna harm you out here," promised Jazz.
Sideswipe only managed an "uh-huh" as he stuck close to the veteran.
They continued towards where Jazz had landed his shuttle, deep in the forest
where humans rarely walked. Jazz didn't really have a choice on where he docked
it but he knew that Sideswipe was wishing that he had parked it closer. The
young mech was dripping with coolant and his optics focused on Jazz's back as
if he was trying to ignore the world around him. He looked like he was going to
purge.
"So that was an interesting thing we watched last night," said Jazz, hoping a
conversation would help lighten the mood.
"Uh-huh," mumbled Sideswipe.
"I mean I thought we had terrible actors back home but these organics took it
to whole new level," laughed Jazz.
"Uh-huh," mumbled Sideswipe yet again.
"I didn't understand why that female had to keep sayin' oh at the start of
every sentence, it was funny for a while but did that get annoyin' fast or
what?" Jazz laughed again, last nights memories filling him with funny
thoughts.
"Uh-huh," mumbled Sideswipe once more.
"And that one bad guy? Primus I've seen better bad guys on sparkling shows,"
said Jazz with a snort, "how did he talk? I'ma gonna get yous-"
"SHUT UP!"
Jazz almost jumped out of his armour as Sideswipe's loud voice rung in his
audios and nearly popped them. Nearby birds fled into the sky and the organic
critters fled from the scene as quick as lightning. Turning around he stared at
the young mech with concerned optics, wondering why he made that sudden
outburst. Sideswipe just stood heaving slow and hard, his face paler than usual
and his little winglets trembled and drooped. He looked terribly ill and
appeared ready to fall over at any moment with the way he was swaying.
In a situation like this one would ask "are you ok?" Jazz hated it when 'Bots
asked that question to those who were clearly not ok. It was a terrible excuse
of an ice breaker and Jazz knew asking it here would be pointless for he knew
exactly how Sideswipe felt, and it was obvious that he wasn't ok. "We're almost
there, it's just a little further," he promised.
Sideswipe nodded, his frame rattling as he shook even more. "I'm s-sorry," he
croaked.
"It's fine," said Jazz, "I can understand that being out here is hard for you.
Let's just keep goin', the sooner we get there the sooner we can head back."
Jazz took a step forward but noticed Sideswipe hadn't moved. Staring down at
his legs he could tell that they were frozen in place. Walking back over to the
young mech Jazz slowly reached out to him and curled his hand around
Sideswipe's, taking a gentle hold of it. "C'mon," he said gently, giving him a
little tug. Sideswipe started to move again but kept his head down.
They walked onwards, getting closer and closer to where Jazz docked his ship.
Feeling the young mech's hand tighten around his own, Jazz looked over his
shoulder to check on Sideswipe. He was still looking down at the ground and his
free arm had wrapped itself round his waist. He was clearly feeling poorly due
to being out of the base and uneasy about being out in the open. Jazz thought
about talking about something to take his mind off his troubles but from
happened earlier Sideswipe wasn't in the mood to talk.
They were almost upon Jazz's shuttle when Jazz felt a tug on his arm. Sideswipe
had stopped moving and stood incredibly still, no longer looking down but
staring off in a random direction. "It's right up there kid," promised Jazz,
"let's keep movin' so-"
"This is where it happened."
For a moment there was no sound between them other than the sound of the
singing birds and the trees that rustled in the breeze. That beautiful place
they stood in now no longer felt special and instead felt horribly awkward and
strange. Jazz opened his mouth but no words could come out he could only stare
at Sideswipe, the young mech looking at the woodland around him.
"I just went for a walk," mumbled Sideswipe, staring at a specific part of the
woodland, "I was just fed up with everyone and thought the walk would help."
His grip on Jazz's hand tightened. "I was just sitting here not bothering
anyone and then... someone jumped me from behind." Sideswipe used his free hand
to wipe a loose tear away that appeared suddenly. "I tried to get free but he
wouldn't let go." Another tear fell and soon Sideswipe was unable to catch them
as they rolled down his cheek. "I pleaded with him... begged him not to do it
but... he d-did it anyway." He now covered up his optics in a vain attempt to
stop the tears. "I can't even remember how many times he used me. I just
remember the pain from it all."
Jazz remained silent, wanting to Sideswipe to finally get it all out. He didn't
intend to bring him back to the place where the horrific incident occurred,
knowing all too well what it was like to revisit a place that brought about bad
memories. Very slowly and carefully he wrapped a single arm around the sobbing
youth and held him in a gentle hug.
"I didn't mean to lead you here," he said, "and right now all I can do is to
promise you that I'll help you get through this. You're going to be alright."
Sideswipe sniffled and whimpered, "why me? What did I do to deserve any of
that?"
It was a tough question with a difficult answer but Jazz knew he had to tell
him. "Life isn't fair sometimes," sighed Jazz, "it can either go good for some
or bad for others. It doesn't matter who you are, fate can be a cruel thing."
It was the right answer but it was a cold answer and Sideswipe obviously didn't
like it. "So I'm supposed to accept that what happened to me was fate!?" The
young mech was still shedding tears but now he looked angry.
Jazz patted Sideswipe on the shoulder, his face now beating a serious but calm
expression, as if he was about to deliver some bad news. "This is goin' to
sound cold but you ain't the only one goin' through such hardships. Life has
its moments of completely screwin' you over."
"How would you know!?" snapped Sideswipe.
Maybe it was about time he told him, what happened to him in the past. Ever
since he learned of what happened to Sideswipe it reminded him of that terrible
moment in his life. Maybe it was a good idea to talk about it with him. He lead
Sideswipe away from that place and told him a story of a long forgotten
tragedy. "During the war we had this young 'Bot in our squad who was as chatty
and as peppy as anyone could get. Sweet kid and brave too." Jazz smiled as he
recalled his old friend. "He could hit a target miles away without even tryin'
and was a real whizz at fixin' weapons. He was a real bright cheerful kid...
and we all thought he'd stay that way."
Sideswipe saw the sad look of Jazz's face. It was painfully obvious that
something went terribly wrong. "What happened to him?"
Jazz sighed heavily. "He started actin' funny one day. He stopped smilin',
stopped bein' cheerful. He started shuttin' himself from us and we didn't know
why. We eventually figured it out but it was too late." Jazz d and looked away
from Sideswipe. "He took his own life a few weeks later. Found a suicide note
that told us what happened. He was raped by one of his own teammates."
As the veteran grimaced at recalling the past, Sideswipe found that he wasn't
certain how to feel about any of it. This old squad mate of Jazz's killed
himself after going through such a cruel ordeal that Sideswipe himself had gone
through. Should he feel bad for him? Or should he believe that his own ordeal
was much worse? Why was Jazz telling him this?
"I kept tellin' myself that if I had known what was troublin' him I could've
helped," continued Jazz, his face full of remorse, "I never wanted anythin'
like that to happen to anyone ever again." He then looked down at Sideswipe
with a sad smile. "I guess wishin' didn't get me what I want, now did it?"
Sideswipe felt a little angry all of sudden but he also felt miserable, all of
his emotions were now in a whirlpool that he didn't know how to calm. He wanted
to shout at Jazz for telling him such an awful story but he also found he felt
bad for him. The veteran had been blaming himself for failing a lost friend but
he wasn't at fault.
"It wasn't your fault," he said at last.
Jazz kept that sad look as he talked. "That's what I told Bumblebee when he
blamed himself for failin' as your leader. It's what I told Grimlock when he
thought it was his fault that he failed you as a friend. I even said the same
thing to Strongarm who I caught crying the other day because she thought it was
all her fault and the same thing to Fixit who has been tryin' to make up for
somethin' he didn't cause."
Hearing this made a knot grow in Sideswipe's gut. His whole team truly believed
what happened to him was their fault? In the beginning he did blame them for
what happened but after hearing Jazz's tale he realised none of them were truly
at fault. Jazz didn't know what happened to his squad mate until it was too
late and he chose to accuse himself of failing him. Bumblebee, Strongarm,
Grimlock and Fixit didn't have anything to do with what happened to him and yet
they were blaming themselves anyway. Sideswipe felt a tinge of guilt after
thinking it over.
"Yes you are the true victim and you suffered a great deal," continued Jazz,
"but stuff like this affects everyone close to you. They don't know what to do
to make it all better, all they can do is blame themselves for not doin'
anythin' to prevent it."
Sideswipe fiddled with his free hand, trying to find words to break his
silence. "I'm... I'm not blaming them," he muttered feebly, "I mean I-I did
before but..."
"I know," sighed Jazz, "but they will blame themselves even if you don't." Jazz
then managed to form a gentle smile as he continued. "This is why you can't
walk through your recovery alone. Your team is willin' and ready to walk with
you. That way you all heal together. I know I sound like a broken record but
you will get through this Sideswipe, you jus' gotta let me and the others
help."
Jazz had said it so many times and every time he said it helped a small glimmer
of hope grow inside Sideswipe's bleak world. Maybe it was some sort of spell to
banish the grief that Sideswipe was drowning in and draw him back to a land
filled with hope and strength. It just had to be said over and over for it to
work its magic.
They finally arrived at Jazz's shuttle, hidden from the rest of the world
thanks to a special cloaking program. When they were on board and safe from any
danger Jazz noticed that Sideswipe had yet to relax and it was obvious why. Now
they were here it was time for the long awaited scan and both of them had no
idea what the end result would be, the red mech was clearly hoping it would be
a negative reading. Leading Sideswipe to the makeshift med bay Jazz ushered him
to lay down whilst he set up the equipment.
"So hopefully this will tell us if you're carryin' or not," explained Jazz as
he pushed buttons to bring the machine to life. "It ain't like a proper scanner
used for detectin' these kind of things but it will tell us if your chamber is
in the process of manufacturin' a protoform."
Sideswipe gulped and looked up at Jazz with concern. "What if I am?"
Jazz bit his lip. "You might not be-"
"But I might be!" Sideswipe looked terrified as Jazz position the device over
his slim body. "What will happen to me if I am carrying?"
There was no point in lying. "If you are carryin' then you would have to leave
this planet because of its Deception threat," explained Jazz, watching as the
start up screen booted up. "Bumblebee has already told me you gotta go if this
comes back positive, no arguin'. Earth doesn't have what a carrying 'Bot needs
and it ain't safe."
That made Sideswipe look even more nervous then ever. "S-so if I'm not
carrying... I can stay?"
Jazz cringed. "You ain't in the right mental state to be here," explained Jazz,
"you need professional help and that's back home on Cybertron."
That didn't make Sideswipe feel better at all and he almost sat up in alarm.
"He's kicking me off the team!?"
"No, not at all," assured Jazz.
"You just said I was going back either way," argued Sideswipe, his voice rising
a little. "I'm off the team now! Why didn't he tell me?"
Jazz placed a firm hand in Sideswipe's shoulder to get him to lay down and
relax as the scan took place. "Bumblebee ain't kickin' you off the team, but
you're no use to them when you're like this," explained Jazz, trying to get
Sideswipe to see reason.
"When I'm like what?" spat Sideswipe, his voice portraying his anger.
Jazz was trying to tread carefully with his words but he knew no matter what he
said it was only going to upset Sideswipe further. "You're... damaged," sighed
Jazz, "physically and mentally. You'll be a burden on the others unless you get
help and the only place you can get help is back on Cybertron."
Sideswipe looked like he was about to cry as his face scrunched up into a
scowl. "I never asked for this! I never wanted any of this! I don't want to go
back to Cybertron! I don't want to leave the team! I just-"
The scan had finally run its course with a loud beeping noise and Jazz looked
back at the screen as the results began to form into words. Sideswipe became
deathly silent as he watched Jazz check over the results, his hands clenching
into fists and his spark pulsing like mad. Jazz scrolled down the screen and
checked everything that was picked up. Stress levels were high which was
understandable. Spark rate was faster than normal. Damage within Sideswipe's
interface array was not life threatening but needed medical attention. Energon
pressure was a little unstable. So far everything seemed alright and Jazz felt
a little relieved that nothing came back regarding Sideswipe's chamber.
His hope was quickly dashed when another reading popped up on the screen.
"Breeding Chamber in use."
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     sorry for the delay :3
The trip back to the scrapyard had been a silent and a troubling one. Sideswipe
walked out in front of Jazz with his arms folded and his head hanging down,
almost forgetting where he was as he stomped through the forest. Jazz had tried
to speak to him but Sideswipe refused to acknowledge him out of spite. The
young mech was trapped in a tornado of emotions, he was upset, angry, scared
and bitter and Jazz couldn't pull him free no matter what he said. How could
he? He had just been told told things that caused him a whole deal of stress.
His mood didn't improve when they returned to the Earth team's HQ. Bumblebee
and the rest of the team were waiting for them, all of them hoping for some
good news to come out of the trip to Jazz's shuttle. They all greeted them with
a smile and reassuring words but Sideswipe suddenly lashed out at all of them,
calling them every name under the sun before running off to his private
hideaway and leaving his teammates stunned and confused. Jazz stepped forward
to explain why, knowing it wasn't going to make anyone happy.
"He's carrying."
It was the news everyone anticipated but what no one wanted to hear. Fixit
fainted, Strongarm looked mortified, Grimlock began to needlessly panic and
Bumblebee slumped in disbelief. "This is my fault," groaned Bumblebee
miserably, "I wasn't quick enough."
"Bee, I told you this before," stated Jazz, "it ain't your-"
"What are we going to do!?" Grimlock was flaying his arms around in a panic, "I
don't know how to deliver a sparkling! I know nothin' about sparklings! I got
arrested for almost stompin' on one!"
"Grimlock calm down before you-"
"Fixit wake up," snapped Strongarm as she shook the unconscious minicon in a
vain attempt to wake him, "you're the only qualified medic we have here on
Earth! Sideswipe needs medical attention stat!"
Jazz looked at the chaos that unfolded before him and sighed heavily, rubbing
his aching brow as he tried to calm down and focus. Taking in a deep vent he
stepped over before Bee and gave him a few quick but hard slaps to the face to
knock him out of his depressed trance.
"Bee focus," snapped Jazz, "your team needs a leader right now."
It took a few seconds before Bumblebee recomposed himself and faced his
panicking team. "Strongarm, Grimlock, stop panicking right now," he ordered. It
took them a moment to get themselves back into a somewhat calmer state but the
dread in their optics remained. "We spoke about this guys, we discussed that
this was a possible scenario," reminded Bumblebee despite forgetting about it
himself a moment ago.
"Wait, does that mean Sideswipe is gonna... leave?" Grimlock looked like he was
about to cry.
"He has to Grimlock," sighed Bumblebee, "he needs proper medical attention and
we don't have that here."
"We have Fixit," stated Grimlock with a hopeful look.
"True but Fixit can only fix physical damage, he can't fix what happened to
Sideswipe," stated Strongarm with a frown.
Grimlock slumped and his lips quivered. "How long will he be gone for?"
"It depends," replied Bumblebee, looking over at Jazz with concern. "I don't
suppose he said what he was planning on doing with... you know."
Jazz shook his head. Right after he told Sideswipe the results of the scan the
young mech burst into tears and ran out of the shuttle. Jazz chased after him,
desperately trying to reassure him with kind words but Sideswipe didn't listen.
He eventually stopped crying as they walked back to the base but the heavy
cloud of misery continued to loom over the young mech.
"I'll try talking to him again," suggested Jazz.
"Um..." Grimlock raised his clawed hand, "when will he leave?"
Another hard question to answer. The council wanted Jazz to return ASAP and if
he delayed it another day they might never let him leave again. "I have to go
by tomorrow," answered Jazz, his voice displaying his regret over the short
time he had left.
"And Sideswipe will be going with you," announced Bumblebee with a stern yet
sad tone of voice. This of course made everyone upset but they kept their
emotions in check.
Jazz left Bumblebee to care for his team, knowing they'd need to talk amongst
themselves about losing one of their own, and went off looking for Sideswipe.
It didn't take him long to find him, the young mech sitting on the floor with
his face buried in his arms as he sobbed uncontrollably. The news had hit him
hard and he was now having to deal with things a mech his age shouldn't have to
deal with in the first place.
Taking it slow and calmly Jazz sat down next to him and gently patted his back.
"It ain't the end of the world Sideswipe," he said gently.
"How would y-you know?" choked Sideswipe, his face still hidden from sight.
"I'm carrying! I have a fragging 'Con growing inside of me!"
Jazz kept his large hand upon Sideswipe's back. "When we get back to Cybertron
we'll go to a proper clinic, one that'll help you get through this."
Sideswipe finally lifted his head, his pale face completely drenched in tears.
"What am I supposed do with it?" he whimpered. "I don't know anything about
sparklings!"
"That is your choice," stated Jazz, "but you don't have to make it alone. There
plenty of options for you to take."
"I don't want it," sobbed Sideswipe, "I never wanted it!"
The poor thing continued to cry, hugging himself even tighter as if he was
trying squeeze himself out of existence. Jazz scooted a little closer and
wrapped an arm around him. "I know that this is what you want to hear," he
said, "but we're leavin' tomorrow. Today would be a good time to say goodbye to
everyone." Upon saying that only resulted in louder and anguish filled cries.
"They don't want you to leave but you have to."
Nothing he said was making Sideswipe feel any better and the poor thing
continued sobbing, the tears showing no signs of ceasing. Jazz sat with him for
a while until he decided to leave the young mech alone for a while. He promised
Sideswipe he wouldn't walk too far and let him be.
The day was passing quick and Sideswipe made no attempt to see any of his
anxious teammates, though his loud sobs had finally died down. None of them
knew how to approach their ill fated friend, unsure of what to do or say.
Bumblebee tried but his guilt almost consumed him when he got too close and he
crept away. Grimlock was concerned that Sideswipe wouldn't get the chance to
say goodbye to their human friends as they were still on their hiking trip, nor
did he learn the name of Sideswipe's attacker. All he could do was stomp around
the scrapyard as he tried to come up with something to fix this mess. Strongarm
was depressed, even though she and Sideswipe bickered constantly she was going
to miss him and started to think she'd never see him again. Fixit was still
trying to get a hold of Drift but they had yet to receive a call from him which
was concerning due to the fact they were going to be a mech down by tomorrow.
Jazz just constantly kept checking in on Sideswipe, waiting for him to stop
crying so they could talk. It wasn't until the sun was close to setting that
Sideswipe had finally calmed down though he still bore a foul mood. Not wanting
to waste any more precious time Jazz returned to Sideswipe's side and sat next
to him. Jazz didn't say anything, hoping that Sideswipe would talk to him but
for a while there was nothing but silence.
Just as Jazz was about to open his mouth Sideswipe finally spoke. "I'm scared,"
he admitted, his voice weak and trembling.
Rubbing a hand gently on his back Jazz scooter a little closer until their
frames touched. "I know it is," he said gently.
"I don't want to leave," whimpered Sideswipe, "but I know I'm just going to
make it worse for everyone if I stay."
"They know that and they understand," assured Jazz, "this is just as hard for
them as it is for you. You've been a real team player here kid, but sometimes
teammates have to sit on the sidelines for the benefit of the rest of the
team."
"So when I'm better... I can come back?" asked Sideswipe hopefully, "they won't
replace me?"
"Of course you can," said Jazz with a smile, though he was unsure of when that
would be, "and don't fret about bein' replaced, because I doubt they'll find
anyone to replace you." Sideswipe tried to hide it but Jazz could see his
cheeks flare a little. "Like I said; this ain't the end. Think of it as a
slight detour on your life." Even Jazz thought that was a terrible example but
the words had already left his mouth.
"I like this place," confessed Sideswipe, "I like it and I don't want to leave
it. I don't want to leave them behind."
Jazz gave Sideswipe a pat on the head before gently forcing him to look up.
"They're gonna be here waitin' for you," promised Jazz, "no matter how long it
takes." He pulled Sideswipe into a half hug and held him as gently and as
firmly as he could. "You should really spend your few remainin' hours with
them, y'know leave them some happy memories." Sideswipe finally turned to face
Jazz, his optics still puffy and his cheeks stained with old tears but deep
within his optics Jazz spotted the first flicker of hope he had seen in a long
time.
Just as he was about to say something to the veteran, the scrapyard's alarms
went off. Sideswipe immediately cowered in his spot, wrapping himself with his
own arms in the hope that they would protect him, fretting that a 'Con had
gotten into the base. Jazz stood up and scanned the area whilst sticking close
to Sideswipe, raising a protective arm over him, but he detected no Deception
activity around them in the scrapyard, so it was most likely that the Alcemor's
computer detected Decepticon activity from elsewhere.
"You're safe," promised Jazz, patting Sideswipe on the shoulder, "just wait
here."
He jumped up and quickly headed over to where the other Autobots had gathered
by the Alcomor's terminal, Fixit quickly downloading the data his scanners were
receiving. "I'm detecting mul-mul-multiple Decepticon readings located at the
quarry," announced Fixit.
"Do you have an exact number?" requested Bumblebee.
"Four? Maybe five? The scanner isn't functioning correctly," mumbled Fixit,
trying to repair the issue.
"They might be using a signal jammer," suggested Strongarm, "one they cobbled
together only it's not working so good. They think it's hiding them from our
sensors."
"Then let's go smash 'em before they find out," cackled Grimlock as he smashed
his fists together.
Bumblebee looked troubled as he looked over at Jazz. "We can't determine the
exact number of 'Cons so it would be best if we take as many as we can on this
one," he declared, "you don't mind Jazz?"
"Course I don't mind," replied Jazz, but he knew why Bumblebee was concerned.
Peering over his shoulder he spotted Sideswipe peeking out from where he was
hiding, curious as to what the problem was. If they all left then Sideswipe
would be here with no one but Fixit to keep on optic on him. He wasn't worried
that Sideswipe would do something drastic whilst they were gone but there was
still a possibility that a 'Con could sneak into the scrapyard and bypass
security. No, the security in the scrapyard should be enough to keep Sideswipe
safe whilst they were gone, there shouldn't be any need for concern.
"Sideswipe we all have to go deal with this," announced Bumblebee, "you and
Fixit remain here until we return. You will be safe here, I promise."
Sideswipe stepped out and fiddled with his hands. "You all have to go?"
Bumblebee nodded, his blue optics hinted some concern hidden with a strict
gaze. Sideswipe frowned a little. "Can... can I at least have my sword back?"
He looked at them with pleading optics. "I'll feel safer with it... please?"
"The scrapyard's security will keep you safe," promised Bumblebee.
"And I'm here," announced Fixit optimistically.
"I know... but can I just have it back?" Sideswipe looked a little desperate.
"You're all going and... I'd just feel safer..."
Bumblebee still appeared uncomfortable about returning the weapon to Sideswipe,
and Fixit was a little hurt, but Jazz gave the young leader a look of
reassurance, confident that Sideswipe was well enough to hold onto his blade.
He just needed it for an extra boost of confidence whilst they were away,
nothing more. It wasn't as if he was going to use it. Bumblebee only
disappeared for a moment to retrieve the confiscated blade, handing it over to
Sideswipe who clutched it tight, the sharp metal making him feel a little more
safer. The rest of the Autobots hoped that Sideswipe didn't need to use it
whilst they were gone.
As they drove out of the base Jazz looked back to Sideswipe and shot him a
confident grin. "We'll be back soon," he promised before transforming to join
the others. Looking back through his side mirrors he watched the red mech
vanish as the scrapyard gate closed firmly between them.
The drive to the quarry didn't take long and all four Autobots treaded as
carefully as they could whilst walking through the rubble to seek out the
Decepticons. At first they didn't detect anything until they stumbled upon a
dug out tunnel, the signals were coming from within.
"These look like the tunnels Ped dug out," declared Strongarm as she scanned
the area. "I thought the humans would've filled them all up by now."
"Why would the 'Cons be running around tunnels?" thought aloud Bumblebee,
knowing that they didn't exactly offer a strategic advantage over the Autobots,
the tunnels were all random and one could easily get lost. If anything these
tunnels were a disadvantage for anyone trying to use them.
"Maybe they found one of Ped's energon stashes?" suggested Jazz, "I'm pickin'
up some faint energon traces."
"Alright, let's get in there and drive 'em out," ordered Bumblebee, rushing in
with his team following.
They took care as they walked in, Grimlock trying his best to keep quiet. It
was like a maze at first and the Autobots soon noticed that the artificial
tunnels were unstable, every step they took caused some of the earth around
them to crumble. The place was just waiting for something to cause a cave in.
Surely the Decepticons noticed this before entering.
It wasn't long until the heard familiar voices up ahead.
"How long is he gonna take? This place will fall apart any second," came a deep
and agitated voice they recognised as Underbite.
"That shrimp said there was some energon stashed in here," came another voice
belonging to Fracture, "we just got to wait for him to get it."
"Why aren't we going in to get it then?" snapped Underbite, "the quicker we
grab it the quicker we can get outta here."
"Because, dear brother, your hulking frame would most likely cause a cave in if
you go in any deeper," came the cool voice of Steeljaw, "and the last thing any
of us want is to be trapped in here. Let us try and be patient for a change,
hmmm?"
"Can't we be patient outside then?" whined Underbite.
"And risk having those Autobots detect us?" sneered Fracture, "we're lucky we
had this signal jammer on hand."
"You mean the one that was glitched?" sighed Steeljaw.
"Hey it's working so far," chuckled Fracture.
"For now," mumbled Underbite.
Bumblebee signalled his team to follow and they crept closer to where the
voices were coming from and peeped round the corner into a large open area.
There they spotted the silver tongued Steeljaw, the bounty hunter Fracture and
metal eating Underbite waiting before another unstable looking cave. They had
no idea that the Autobots were standing nearby.
"What's the plan sir?" asked Strongarm in a hushed voice.
"We have the advantage and we outnumber them," informed Jazz, "but if we start
a fight in here it's gonna cave in."
"Also it sounds like there's more of them in there," pointed out Bumblebee, "we
gotta be careful and think this one through."
As Bumblebee tried to come up with a plan to deal with this tricky situation
another Decepticon came into view, the notorious Thunderhoof who came lumbering
over from another part of the cave. "Ain't that two timin' cybershark bait back
yet?" he huffed, "I don't wanna be in here when this place comes down."
"Is it really that hard to be patient for one day?" Steeljaw was getting
annoyed but managed to keep his smooth tone of voice.
"Feh, even if I were patient I'd still be impatient waitin' on him," snorted
Thunderhoof.
"I don't even know how to respond to that," muttered Steeljaw.
Now there were four of them with one of them currently somewhere else in the
maze like tunnels, so the odds were still in their favour for now. If they
fought in here it would destroy the cage around them. Thunderhoof could cause
some damage with those large pedes of his as well as Underbite. They had no
choice but to somehow lure them out.
"We wait until they leave the tunnels and then we jump them," decided
Bumblebee.
"We have to wait?" whined Grimlock.
"Yes Grimlock, so keep quiet," whispered Strongarm.
"Hopefully we won't have to wait long," murmured Jazz.
Minutes passed as the Autobots continued to spy on the unsuspecting 'Cons. They
appeared bored waiting for their accomplice and started chatting about random
things like favourite fights or personal colour schemes. Underbite was trying
to get his mind off the dangerous cave they were in and Fracture actually
teased him about it. The Autobots could only wait and hope an opportunity would
arise where they could attack without fear of endangering themselves.
Jazz was tempted to call in and let Sideswipe know what they were up too but he
couldn't risk blowing their cover. Hopefully Sideswipe was doing just fine with
Fixit for company, though they now had been hiding for a while. Bumblebee and
Strongarm were trying to come up with another plan whilst Grimlock looked like
he was about to die from boredom. Jazz hoped that this wouldn't take any longer
than it needed to be.
Eventually the pitter patter sound of small pedes could be heard and Clampdown
emerged from one of the tunnels. "It's about time Clampdown," growled Steeljaw,
"now where is that energon?"
"Energon? Oh right, that energon," laughed Clampdown nervously, "well it, er,
turns out Ped buried it a little deeper than I realised so I'm gonna need some
help."
"We sent you in to get it 'cause you're the smallest and won't cause a cave
in," snarled Underbite, his loud voice making some of the walls shake and
crumble.
"I-I know that," whimpered Clampdown, "but I found a safe route for all of us
to go, I guarantee it will be safe."
"Funny," sneered Thunderhoof, "yous said the exact same thin' to me before yous
handed me over to the cops!"
"Now, now," said Steeljaw suddenly as he attempted to calm the situation down,
"let's just do what our brother had promised and get that energon before the
Autobots find out."
Bumblebee and the Autobots knew if they went in any deeper they might cause a
cave in that would affect the human world above them. They had no choice but to
try and stop them now, hopefully they could arrest them without causing the
ceiling to fall on top of them. He gave the signal to everyone and they all
jumped out of hiding with their weapons ready.
"You aren't going anywhere but back to Cybertron in a stasis pod," announced
Bumblebee, "now surrender at once."
"You have the right to remain silent," declared Strongarm, "and it's your only
right."
The 'Cons spun round to face the Autobots with surprised but agitated looks.
"So much for the signal jammer," muttered Steeljaw. The wolf like Decepticon
took a step forward, his golden optics glowed with deadly intent. "We're not
causing any trouble here Autobots, so why don't you leave us be before you
cause an accident."
"You'll cause an accident if we let you go," scoffed Bumblebee, "so be smart
and surrender."
The 'Cons were boxed in with the Autobots blocking their exit and the only
other escape route was through an unsafe tunnel that may or may not be
unstable. It did appear that they had no way out of this one and both sides
knew it, though Steeljaw was trying to come up with a plan whilst keeping his
cool. The Decepticons looked ready to fight but they held back out of fear of
causing the whole place to fall apart, hoping that something would get them out
of this mess.
It was then that Thunderhoof stepped forward, a cunning smirk upon his face. "I
got this one Steeljaw," he declared with some confidence. He faced the Autobots
and sneered at them. "Can't help but notice yous Autobots are missin' someone."
Jazz, as well as the others, were caught off by that. Normally 'Cons didn't
care if they were missing members of their team as it meant the odds were in
their favour. Maybe it was because Thunderhoof was assuming the missing Autobot
was hiding somewhere in ambush and was trying to get him to come out. Before
they could even think about using it to their advantage Thunderhoof taunted the
Autobots some more. "You got a new edition I see, so I'm guessin' yous got
desperate for help."
"Stop stalling for time Thunderhoof," demanded Bumblebee, aiming his weapon at
the antler helmed 'Con.
"Stallin'? Me?" Thunderhoof snorted and continued to stare down at the
Autobots. "I was merely concerned about yous missin' teammate. After all I
weren't exactly gentle with him the last we crossed paths."
The air around the Autobots grew heavy after Thunderhoof said that. "W-what did
you say?" stuttered Bumblebee, completely caught off guard by that.
Thunderhoof snorted again. "What? He didn't tell yous? I kinda figured yous
already knew since yous lot interrupted me in the middle of my fun."
Jazz felt something twitch inside of him, a horrible feeling was brewing within
his mind as the Decepticon continued to look amused. He could feel the horror
and the disgust of the other Autobots growing as it was slowly dawning on them
what Thunderhoof was talking about.
"What are you talking about Thunderhoof?" muttered Steeljaw who was neither
interested or curious in what the other Decepticon saying, but asked anyway.
"Oh I told yous this story Steeljaw," explained Thunderhoof, not taking his
optics off the Autobots, "but I'll be happy to remind yous." He took another
step forward, his gaze still fixated on his horrified foes. "I was walkin'
through the woods one day, mindin' my own business, and all of a sudden I get a
whiff of this real tasty scent. So I followed it and what'd I find? A tasty
lookin' Autobot on heat." His wicked grin widened as the Autobots reacted with
horror. "The stupid kid didn't even realise he was releasin' such a sweet
scent, though that didn't stop me. He didn't do a good job of resistin' either.
He just gave up and took it."
Thunderhoof didn't need to say anymore for the Autobots knew now who had
attacked their young friend and he was standing right there in front of them
with a cruel smile as he recalled the attack. Jazz felt nothing but malice
towards the 'Con, the very idea that he would take pleasure in ruining a life
was sickening to the core, but deep within Jazz's mind his reasoning told him
that Thunderhoof was doing this on purpose. He was getting the Autobots riled
up intentionally and that could only mean that their was some of trap ready for
them if they moved.
Before he could even try and tell the other Autobots to keep their cool
Grimlock took a large stomp forward and viciously growled at Thunderhoof. "Are
you the one who hurt him?" he bellowed, the walls trembling at his loud voice.
Thunderhoof sneered at the Dinobot. "Hurt him?" The 'Con laughed at the
accusation. "I made that lil' slut moan like a two credit chip whore!"
Before Jazz could even try to get them to calm down Grimlock roared a deafening
howl and charged towards the Decepticons, the whole cave trembled at the
frightful sound. Bumblebee and Strongarm had also been blinded by their rage
and their judgement clouded by Thunderhoof's words, rushing alongside their
Dinobot ally. Jazz also bore the desire to go after him but that doubt in the
back of his mind held him back from doing something stupid.
And he was right. As the Autobots drew closer Thunderhoof raised one of his
legs and with all the force he could muster slammed it back into the unstable
ground. Along with the heavy charging of the Autobots the cave around began to
shake and crumble even more and the floor cracked and shook. Jazz dashed
forward, hoping to grab at least one of the Autobots before him but when he
took a step forward the ground gave way and he fell.
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