Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13884342.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Persona_5
  Relationship:
      Kitagawa_Yusuke/Sakamoto_Ryuji
  Character:
      Kitagawa_Yusuke, Sakamoto_Ryuji, Sakamoto_Ryuji's_Mother, Kurusu_Akira,
      Sakura_Futaba, Okumura_Haru, Niijima_Makoto, Takamaki_Ann, Morgana_
      (Persona_5)
  Additional Tags:
      Angst_and_Hurt/Comfort, Past_Child_Abuse, Past_Sexual_Abuse, Implied
      pedophilia, First_Kiss, Frootage, Ryuji_gets_Yusuke_to_actually_play_a
      video_game
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-03-14 Words: 3619
****** I'll Always Be Here For You ******
by CaptainParisStarr
Summary
     When the papers print all the charges laid against Maderame, more
     about Yusuke's past is revealed.
The cafe fell silent as all eyes turned towards the newspaper Makoto had laid
on the table.
 
The paper was opened to show the summary of the final trial of Maderame, and a
list of everything he was charged with.
 
The scrape of the bar stool being pushed back was almost imperceptible, as were
the footsteps heading towards the door.
 
Only the bell betrayed the covert exit; seven pairs of eyes turned to see who
had entered to disturb their silent contemplation. No one was in sight.
 
Ryuji glanced around them, taking a silent roll call. "Where's Yusuke?"
 
"Oh my God!" Makoto tapped the paper and two charges; pedophilia and production
of child pornography. Ryuji was on his feet in seconds, making the connection
in record time with no need of anyone explaining anything to him for once.
 
"Yusuke!" He looked both ways as he exited the cafe, his eyes alighting upon
the small alcove sheltering the communal laundromat. "Yusuke?"
 
There was nothing from within and yet Ryuji padded forward, drawn on by
instinct.
 
His friend was curled up in the corner, arms around his knees. "Yusuke."
 
"Go away." Yusuke didn't even lift his head to look at Ryuji, his voice devoid
of emotion.
 
"Are you okay?" Ryuji crouched down beside his friend, aware of shadows in the
doorway. "We're all here if you want to talk."
 
The hand he dropped onto Yusuke's shoulder was shrugged off. "Leave me alone.
I'm... I'd hoped none of you would find out..."
 
Ryuji swallowed hard as fear suddenly swallowed him; this wasn't like Yusuke,
not at all. Usually he was full of life, passionately protesting or denouncing.
This strange shutdown was not at all what Ryuji, what any of them, had expected
from the artist.
 
"Yusuke?" Akira was suddenly there, next to them though Ryuji had not heard him
approach.
 
"I'm damaged goods. Why would you want someone like that around?" Yusuke curled
further into himself.
 
"Did Maderame film you?" Yusuke nodded minutely. "Why didn't you say anything?"
 
Yusuke didn't say anything; he didn't have to for it was obvious that the
answer to Makoto's question was fear. Yusuke had been afraid of being judged,
or of not being believed. Or maybe he had just been conditioned to keep quiet.
Either way, Yusuke had not wanted to lose the only friends he had over his
past.
 
Ryuji reached out again, pulling Yusuke's overly tense body against him, hands
petting his back and sides like he was trying to calm a skittish cat. He wanted
Yusuke to cry, or scream, or pull away and punch him; it didn't matter what as
long as it was a natural reaction.
 
What he didn't expect was for Yusuke to melt against him, arms wrapping tightly
around Ryuji's shoulders as he started to shake, crying without tears.
 
In the end it was Ryuji who shed the first tear as he held Yusuke tightly,
muttering "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" over and over again.
 
"Ryuji?" A soft, hesitant hand wiped away the wetness.
 
"He had no right to put you through that. To put anyone through that!"
 
Yusuke slowly pulled away, and looked around him, at the faces surrounding him
with tender looks of concern. "You don't hate me for being weak? For... for
allowing...?" He looked away, unable to finish.
 
"There is a huge difference between being weak and being unable to defend
yourself. We all know that." Akira brushed the hair out of Yusuke's eyes, eyes
thay were finally growing damp. "That is why we fight; not for honor or fame,
but to protect the innocent. He can't hurt you anymore, you're safe."
 
Yusuke nodded slowly as he let his head drop onto Ryuji's shoulder.
 
"Akira?" Ryuji asked his question with his eyes and got a small nod in
response. Pulling away gently, he stood up. "Yusuke, go get your school bag.
You're staying at my place tonight."
 
Yusuke hesitated as he was helped to his feet. "There is no need to keep an eye
on me."
 
"Maybe not but we aren't going to let you be alone tonight and Akira has a date
so you can't stay here." Ryuji sighed, before adding; "My mom works nights and
it gets lonely being there by myself."
 
"Alright." Yusuke relaxed slightly, most of the unnatural numbness and tension
melted away by Ryuji's warmth though he wasn't fully himself again.
 
After retrieving their school bags from Leblanc, Ryuji led Yusuke to the train
station. "It's not far, only one station and a five minute walk." He sent his
mom a quick text, saying that he was having a male friend sleep over that
night.
 
As soon as they were inside, Ryuji pointed oit the bathroom. "Go ahead and
shower. I'll make us some food, okay?" He handed the artist a towel and a pair
of simple black cotton pyjamas that he never wore because they were tight in
the hips.
 
As Yusuke stepped into the shower part of him wondered what Ryuji would ask in
return. His hands automatically washed his ass thoroughly; Maderame had always
insisted that he be clean to the point of sterility before going in front of
the camera.
 
He didn't want to be filled and fucked by Ryuji though; sex hurt, stretching
him to the point where he sometimes tore and bled.
 
He pushed those thoughts, memories, away; Ryuji wasn't like that. He would be
gentle and maybe this time it wouldn't hurt.
 
Or maybe he won't ask for sex at all.The small voice spoke at the back of
Yusuke's mind made him pause for a seconds contemplation before it was crushed
under the other, louder voices.
 
Rinsing himself thoroughly, he did his best to shove all the voices to the back
of his mind. Only once he was as calm and collected as he could get himself,
and was modestly dressed in the borrowed pyjamas; which fit him reasonably
well; did he exit the bathroom to find Ryuji.
 
He found Ryuji in the kitchen, speaking softly to an older woman who could only
be his mother. Yusuke hesitated just outside the doorway, not certain if he
should be intruding on a family moment.
 
Scattered words reached his ears, including his own name, Maderame's, and the
sentiment that Ryuji didn't want him to be alone that night.
 
Her eyes turned towards him as though she had sensed his presence. "Kitagawa-
kun?"
 
"Yes." He stepped forward, into the kitchen itself, forcing himself to meet her
eyes.
 
"Ryuji told me that you were Maderame's final pupil. Normally he's not allowed
to have friends stay over on school nights but you can stay as long as you need
to okay?" Her voice was gentle as she spoke, and a desperate longing for his
own mother rose unexpectedly inside Yusuke's heart.
 
"Thank you."
 
"Here." A bowl was placed on the small table. "Its just ramen, I'm not very
good at cooking so that's the best I can do, but its hot and fresh."
 
Yusuke found himself swallowing hard to keep what little was in his stomach
down as he remembered how Maderame had loved having him sit in his lap to be
fed.
 
"Yusuke?" Ryuji's hand on his forehead brought him back out of his memories;
memories he had thought he had buried deep in the back of his mind.
 
"I'm fine." Yusuke's eyes flicked towards Ryuji's mom in a clear message of
'I'll tell you later.' "Thank you for the food."
 
At first Yusuke ate to be polite; but after the first bite he found himself
inhaling the bowl. "This is amazing! The delicate balance of salty and savoury!
The egg is cooked to perfection!"
 
Ryuji blushed under the praise. "It's nothing special."
 
Yusuke opened his mouth to retort that Ryuji shouldn't sell himself short when
his mother announced that she was leaving for work, reminding them that they
had school the next day.
 
"I'll get to bed at a decent time, Mom! Don't worry!"
 
Nodding, she left as Yusuke finished a second bowl.
 
"Hey, have you ever tried playing a video game?" He turned his console on.
 
"No. I have never wasted my time on such a frivolous form of entertainment."
 
Ryuji rolled his eyes, but was secretly glad at the typical Yusuke response as
he clicked on a game. "Here." He handed over the game pad. "I never play this
one but I think you'll like it. Its a multiplayer game; one person draws
something and the other has to guess what the first one drew."
 
Yusuke sat up in sudden interest. "There are art based video games?"
 
"Yeah, sure are. Here, you use the stylus to draw after choosing a category."
Ryuji selected 'animals' and in a few quick strokes drew a halfway decent fox.
 
"You never told me that you have artistic talent!"
 
"No, I really don't. Not compared to you anyway; I enjoy sketching but that's
about it." Ryuji cleared the pad and handed it over. "I know that you didn't
bring a sketch pad with you and I have nothing of the sort lying around so I
thought that maybe this would be okay for tonight?"
 
"This is perfect." Yusuke settled himself down, frowning slightly at the clunky
stylus but quickly losing himself in the flow of the game as he and Ryuji
passed the game pad back and forth.
 
It wasn't until the pad was suddenly snatched away from him after he had been
drawing for ten minutes straight that he realized what he had been drawing.
 
"Yusuke? Is this how he saw you?" The drawing on the game pads screen showed a
young boy sitting limply on an older mans lap; the mans pants were down around
his ankles and one hand was between the boys legs, the other holding a spoon to
his mouth.
 
"Yes." Yusuke reached to delete the image.
 
"Is this why you were sick at the sight of food?"
 
"He made me sit on his lap like a living doll to feed me..." Yusuke's arms
wrapped around himself.
 
The console was powered down, and Yusuke found himself once more being held
tightly by Ryuji.
 
This time however there was no one there but the two of them, and when Yusuke
uncoiled his body to press against Ryuji, he felt Ryuji's cock twitch. "Be
gentle with me okay?"
 
Ryuji pulled away. "I'm not going to touch you! I mean, if you want me to I
guess but..." Ryuji shook his head.
 
Yusuke cocked his head to the side in confusion. "You didn't bring me here for
sex? I've seen the way you look at me when you think no one is looking."
 
"No of course I didn't bring you here for sex!" Ryuji was shocked. "I'm worried
sick about you; I like you yeah, but I also care deeply about you as a person!
I could never... not unless I know for certain that you want me the same way."
 
"Ryuji?" Yusuke closed the gap again. "I don't mind."
 
"Have you ever been with anyone consensually? Because you wanted to become one
with them?"
 
Yusuke looked down. "No."
 
Ryuji got to his feet and headed for the closet. "Here." He passed Yusuke a
stack of spare bedding and a pillow before hauling out the spare futon.
 
"I have no issue with sharing your bed, Ryuji."
 
"Yeah well, I do. Its too small for us to share as anything short of lovers.
Which we aren't. The idea that he touched you; let other guys touch you; it
turns me off." With a sigh Ryuji started down the short hallway towards his
room at the end.
 
Yusuke followed, barely glancing around the small room as they made up the
spare futon.
 
"I was jealous of you for the longest time." Ryuji laughed bitterly.
 
"Jealous of me? Why?" Yusuke lay down; if Ryuji didn't want him and he had no
chance to draw he might as well sleep. His school assigments were all already
done after all.
 
"Because of how ridiculously attractive you are! You can get anyone you want,
male or female, to go out with you! I never thought that your looks could have
ever been used against you." Ryuji sighed as he rummaged through his clothing
in search of a pair of pyjamas that actually fit; usually he slept in nothing
but his boxers.
 
"Ryuji you are not unattractive." Yusuke watched as he changed, the sight of
Ryuji's muscles moving beneath bare skin sparking a strange emotion inside him.
 
"Not being unattactive doesn't mean that I am attractive though. I mean some
girls were into me when I was the star of the track team, back before Kamoshida
broke my leg and all that shit. But in the end they only cared about my status
not me." All of the hurt he had felt when his maybe girlfriend suddenly left
him for someone else the day after his leg had been set came crashing back.
 
He didn't realize that he had still been talking; about Kamoshida and the track
team and his father and how hard his Mom had to work to support them; until
Yusuke suddenly embraced him from behind.
 
"Ryuji I owe you an apology. I have been fixated on my own past to the point
where I have forgotten the hardships you have faced. Please, forgive me."
 
"Hey, you don't have to apologize! I had some hard spots yeah; and my Dad did
his best to make it as hard as it possible could be for me to accept myself as
bi but... compared to what you went through thats nothing!"
 
"Bi?" Yusuke's eyes widened slightly.
 
"Yeah; please don't tell anyone okay? I'm not ready to come out just yet."
 
"It appears as though I have once again misjudged you; I had assumed that you
were simply desperate to... whats the term... 'get laid'."
 
There was a moment of startled silence and then Ryuji started laughing at the
unexpectedness of Yusuke using such a crude expression.
 
His laughter was cut off by something warm and wet pressed against his mouth;
it wasn't until Yusuke pulled back that he realized he had just been kissed.
 
"What... what was that?" Ryuji licked his lips unconsciously, his eyes on
Yusuke's.
 
"Did you not want me to?" Yusuke had retreated to the far edge of the second
futon.
 
"I wasn't expecting you to just... but yeah I wanted you to. And uh... you can
do it again if you want to." Ryuji lay down on his back. "You can do whatever
you want."
 
Yusuke nodded slowly. "I need to know if sex can feel good or if it only ever
hurts."
 
"Come here." Ryuji wanted to beat up everyone who had ever raped Yusuke; who
had broken him so badly.
 
For a long moment, Yusuke hesitated; then just as Ryuji thought he had misread
something and was about to apologize, Yusuke moved to lie on top of him. One of
Yusuke's legs slid between Ryuji's and as Yusuke lowered himself, Ryuji felt
the press of Yusuke's manhood against his own leg.
 
Yusuke's hips jerked back, removing the pressure, then he froze, indecisive.
 
"Hey, its okay we have all night. Take your time." Ryuji's hands softly grasped
his friends hips, fingertips sliding up under his shirt to rub circles into the
silky soft skin of his lower back.
 
Slowly, Yusuke relaxed and lowered himself until he was lying fully on top of
Ryuji, his head on Ryuji's shoulder.
 
Twisting his head, Ryuji gently kissed Yusuke's hair. "Get some sleep, okay?"
 
"Just give me a moment and we can try kissing again."
 
"Don't push yourself; there is no shame in not being ready." Ryuji feathered
his fingers through Yusuke's soft hair, and a small sound of pleasure escaped
the bluenette.
 
"Ryuji I want you." Yusuke didn't elaborate; he had neither the words nor the
need. Instead he lifted his head and pressed a second kiss against Ryuji's
mouth.
 
This time Ryuji kissed him back, returning the pressure of Yusuke's mouth but
nothing more.
 
One kiss melted into another, and another, each deeper than the last; the
barest hint of tongue turning into full blown making out.
 
They broke apart only when the need for oxygen overwhelmed their need for each
other. "That... that was..." Ryuji laughed breathlessly.
 
"Do you want to...?" Yusuke gestured towards Ryuji's tented pants.
 
"I need to cum, and I know that you do as well. We were rubbing against each
other so much I'm surprised I didn't cream my pants. But I'm fine with
finishing myself off in the bathroom; nothing more has to happen between us
tonight if you don't want it to." He laughed again. "I'm actually stunned that
we got as far as making out."
 
"Sex is different with you; I don't quite know why, but I feel safe. Relaxed."
Yusuke pressed another soft kiss to Ryuji's kiss-swollen lips. "Somehow I know
that you won't hurt me."
 
"If course I won't!" Hands rubbed up and down Yusuke's back.
 
Yusuke pulled back just far enough to pull the borrowed shirt off. "I want
more."
 
"Okay." Ryuji followed suit, pulling his own tee off and tossing it aside. He
barely saw how thin Yusuke was; how prominant his ribs were. All he saw was
Yusuke.
 
Without the cloth barrier, both boys felt more comfortable touching the other's
chest.
 
Again and again their lips met, as though the other was oxygen itself;
necissary for staying alive and well.
 
Ryuji's hands found Yusuke's nipples, and gently, carefully started tweaking
them.
 
Yusuke moaned loudly, then he jerked back, blushing darkly as he covered his
mouth with his hands, his eyes wide.
 
"Hey, don't be embarrassed; its okay, I like hearing the sounds you make." Even
as Ryuji tugged Yusuke's hands down to kiss away the blush he wanted to freeze
the moment, save it forever as the most adorable thing he had ever seen.
Inside, however, he was relieved that there was still some part of Yusuke that
wasn't broken, some small spark of innocence that hadn't been lost forever.
 
He wanted to preserve that spark, to blow on it until it became a flame, but
didn't know how. Instead, he shifted until he could mouth Yusuke's nipples,
drawing more moans out of the artist.
 
The sounds went straight to his dick. "I can't... I have to cum." He untied his
pants, pulling them down until his cock sprang free. "I wanna jerk us off
together. Is that okay?"
 
Yusuke's eyes flickered up to Ryuji's eyes from the shaft he had just exposed.
Slowly, he nodded yes as he pulled the borrowed pants off entirely. "How do you
want me?"
 
"Lie down on your side, facing me." Ryuji lay down as well, facing Yusuke.
"Slide a bit closer; yeah like that." Ryuji fished a bottle of lube out from
under his pillow, and squirted some directly onto both shafts. One hand curled
around Yusuke's neck to pull him in for more kissing; the other started pumping
their shafts as one.
 
The slide of a silky cock against his own, the slick pressure of Ryuji's hand,
the sounds the blonde was making; it was all too much for Yusuke, and he came
quickly, spraying Ryuji with his seed.
 
He had no time to be embarrassed, however, as Ryuji came from the sensation of
being sprayed. They lay like that for a long moment, kissing sleepily, as the
cum and sweat dried on their bodies. 
 
As soon as he had caught his breath, Ryuji sat up to find his box of tissues,
and cleaned them both up. "Sleep, okay? I have no energy to do anything else
tonight."
 
Yusuke nodded slowly, already half asleep. As soon as Ryuji had turned off the
light and laid back down, Yusuke cuddled up against his side and was out.
 
Ryuji lay awake for a few more minutes, just enjoying holding Yusuke in his
arms like this, before he followed his lover into dreamland.
 
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
"Ryuji, you sure look happy today. Did something happen with Yusuke last
night?" Ann drapped an arm over his shoulders as she spoke, her breasts softly
pressing against his arm.
 
"W-what would have happened? Yusuke is a guy you know!" Ryuji wanted the ground
to swallow him as he felt his face grow hot.
 
Everyone looked over at him; Makoto and Haru both looking confused, Morgana
smug, and Akira flashed a knowing grin at him.
 
"Well, you like him don't you?" Ann frowned slightly.
 
"Don't be crazy!" He dropped his eyes.
 
"You're always looking at him." Makoto nodded at Haru's observation.
 
"Yesterday, you were the first to notice he was gone; the first to figure out
what had happened. The first to comfort him." Akira stood up. "Plus, he told me
everything this morning; he was asking for advice on how to approach dating
you."
 
"Skull and Fox dating?!" Morgana's laughter echoed across the rooftop of Shujin
Academy, where they gathered for lunch most days.
 
"Fine okay I might have kissed him a bit but only because he kissed me
first..."
 
"Finally ready to admit that you're actually gay and come out of the closet?"
 
"Ann, I'm not gay! I'm bi!" The words tumbled out him without thought.
 
"Bi? Huh, that I didn't expect."
 
Ryuji was spared having to answer by his phone chiming; a grin brightened his
face as he read Yusuke's request to meet him in Shibuya after school.
 
He had a boyfriend, and maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing after all. Not when
the boyfriend was someone wonderful and amazing like Yusuke was.
 
Something deep inside Yusuke was still broken, but Ryuji knew that he could be
healed; together, they could make him whole again.
 
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