Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1007913.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Remus_Lupin/Harry_Potter
  Character:
      Harry_Potter, Remus_Lupin, Nymphadora_Tonks, Kingsley_Shacklebolt,
      Alastor_“Mad-Eye”_Moody, Ron_Weasley
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time, Loss_of_Virginity, Humor, Romantic_Comedy, Anal_Sex
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-17 Words: 8257
****** Ill Advice ******
by Maeglin_Yedi
Summary
     Remus is acting oddly, and may even be keeping secrets. Harry is
     determined to help him out any way he can.
     Not compliant with HBP or DH (written and first published in 2005)
Notes
     Pairing: Harry Potter/Remus Lupin, others implied
     Rating: NC-17
     Warnings/category: first-time, humor, romance
     Disclaimer: Not mine. All these boys belong to J.K. Rowling
     Summary: Remus is acting oddly, and may even be keeping secrets.
     Harry is determined to help him out any way he can.
     A/N: written as a gift for Xntrick
     Big thanks to Gina for the beta!
     Word count: 8270
     First published: February, 2005
See the end of the work for more notes
"I suppose you'll be wanting to see Ron soon, now that you two are in a
relationship."
Slowly, Harry lowered his cup of tea and stared at Remus, feeling the blood
drain from his cheeks. "What?"
Remus nibbled a biscuit. "It's all right. Dumbledore told me you and Ron were
caught in the Astronomy Tower together. In a compromising position."
"Yeah, but we're not," Harry had to clear his throat, "in a relationship. We
just had sex."
"Ah," said Remus, dipping a second biscuit in his cup of tea.
Harry stared at him for a moment. He'd only set foot in Grimmauld Place twenty
minutes ago, after having spent two weeks at the Dursleys', and already people
knew more about him than he wanted them to.
"I am going to the Burrow for a week this Thursday. But not because Ron and I
are...you know. We're just best mates," Harry finally managed to say.
"I see." Remus nodded, giving Harry a peculiar look. "That's all right, too, of
course. I just assumed that since you were having sex with him, there might be
more between you two."
"No," Harry said. While Remus seemed ready to drop the subject, Harry felt
compelled to explain himself. He didn't want Remus, or anyone else for that
matter, to get the wrong idea. "Ron wanted to ask Lavender out, but he'd
never...you know...shagged, so I helped him out. Because he wanted to have some
sort of experience, so he wouldn't make a complete fool of himself if she put
out for him."
"That makes perfect sense," Remus said, smiling. "Though, didn't it worry you
that Ron is, in fact, a young man?"
Harry shrugged and tapped a finger against the tabletop. "Not really."
They kept silent for a moment, and Harry stared at Remus and wondered why he
looked like he'd had something bad for lunch. Remus had been trying hard to get
closer to Harry ever since last year – and god, had it already been a year
since Sirius fell through the veil?
Christmas had been a pleasant event, despite the loss Harry still felt, and
Remus had kept in touch with him through letters for the rest of the school
year. Though Remus would never be able to take Sirius' place, Harry had to
admit Remus had become a friend.
"I'm not sure it's my place to ask," Remus finally said, folding his hands on
the table, "but do you prefer men to women, perhaps?"
Harry shrugged again, and thought he felt comfortable enough around Remus to
discuss this subject. "Yeah, I think I do."
"That's all right," Remus said, again with that peculiar look in his eyes.
"Does Ron feel the same?"
"No, don't think so," Harry replied, leaning back in his chair and releasing a
deep breath. "He likes the girls, mostly."
Remus leaned back as well and smiled, and it was so distant Harry knew he was
remembering something that made him happy.
"Sirius was like that as well."
"Sirius was queer?" Harry asked, shocked.
"No, no, not at all," Remus said with a soft chuckle. "Which was the problem
when he asked to have sex with me in our fifth year."
Harry's mouth fell open and he could only stare at Remus, whose smile was
slowly turning into a grin.
"Sirius had the same worries Ron does, and he thought it would be a marvelous
idea to shag me before going out with a few girls. But I didn't quite agree."
"Because you're not queer?" Harry guessed.
"No," Remus said, shaking his head. "Because he wasn't."
Harry needed a minute to process what Remus was saying, and just when he'd
managed to close his mouth, it dropped open again when he finally got it.
"You," he gasped. "You're queer."
Remus gave a slow nod. "I'm more interested in men than in women, so I suppose
that makes me a homosexual."
Frowning, Harry glanced down for a moment. "Wait. But if you're queer, then why
didn't you want to...you know...with Sirius?"
Remus' expression, which had been open and amused, darkened until it was pained
and distant. "It's no use pondering our past choices when we can't change them
anymore."
"Huh?"
"What would you like for supper?" Remus got up, offered Harry a smile which
seemed forced, and turned towards the stove.
"Anything's fine," Harry said, and understood that Remus wanted to drop the
subject. And thus Harry dropped it as well, thinking he'd try to bring it up
again when Remus was in a better mood.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
That night, as Harry lay in bed and shoved his pyjama bottoms down for his
daily wank, he couldn't help wondering why Remus hadn't wanted to shag Sirius.
They had been best mates, hadn't they? Just like Ron and him, and that was the
reason Harry had no problem doing those things with Ron. He trusted Ron and he
liked Ron, and while he didn't have any of those feelings for Ron, it had been
fun to give sex a try with his best friend.
Harry glanced at his bedside table, at the picture of Sirius he kept there.
Sirius, just after he'd left Hogwarts, leaning against his motorbike, looking
happy and free – just like he'd wanted to be remembered, Remus had said when
he'd given Harry the picture.
Sirius had been a handsome enough bloke. If he'd been Harry's best mate in
school, Harry thought he wouldn't have had any problems shagging him, queer or
not.
Releasing a sigh, Harry tried to clear his mind of those questions and
concentrated on stroking his cock. And when he came a few moments later, he was
thinking about a young Sirius and Remus having sex.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
They sat in the shadow of Mr Weasley's tool shed, but despite the shade it was
still too hot to move so much as a finger. Even the bees, buzzing around a
flower bed to their right, seemed lazy in the July heat.
Ron was chewing on a blade of grass, and Harry dabbed at his sweaty forehead
and throat with his T-shirt, which he'd taken off earlier.
"Remus was acting oddly," he said.
"He was?" Ron asked, the blade of grass moving from one corner of his mouth to
the other.
"Yeah. He heard about us, and then he said Sirius had wanted to shag him as
well when they were younger, but Sirius wasn't queer and he was, so he hadn't.
I've tried to bring the subject up again, but he's avoided it ever since."
"Hm," Ron said, leaning his head back, the blade of grass pointing up to the
clear-blue sky. "We had sex. But I'm not queer. And neither are you."
"Well," Harry said, doubtfully. He decided not to correct Ron in his
assumption. "But isn't that odd? That he's queer and he still wouldn't shag
Sirius?"
"Yeah, I suppose it's odd," Ron said after a moment of silence. "Perhaps...I
dunno...perhaps he doesn't like sex?"
Harry frowned. He couldn't for the life of him imagine someone not liking sex.
"You think?"
"It'd make sense. Why else wouldn't he want to have sex with Sirius?"
Ron had a point, Harry thought, and he wiped at his forehead again as he
thought about it.
"Perhaps you should try to find out what he likes best about sex. If he won't
tell you, you've got your answer," Ron said, turning to look at Harry.
"Yeah. Good idea."
"You want to shag?" Ron asked, the blade of grass rising hopefully in his
mouth.
"Nah," Harry replied. "Too hot to shag."
"Yeah," Ron agreed, though he didn't sound convinced.
"How about a wank?" Harry offered.
"Wank sounds good," Ron said, and reached for his zipper.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
"I like to suck cock," Harry announced as he was doing his homework in the
library.
Remus, who sat opposite him, lowered his newspaper and stared at Harry for a
moment.
"Have you been drinking?"
Glancing at his glass of pumpkin juice, Harry shook his head. "I just like to
suck cock. I really like it. What do you like best about sex?"
Remus seemed taken aback for a moment, his eyes wide as he gave Harry a curious
look. But then he folded his newspaper and leaned forward in his chair,
offering Harry a small smile.
"I like kissing," Remus said.
"Kissing?" Harry echoed, as if Remus had just said a nasty word.
"Yes," Remus said with an encouraging nod.
"I think kissing is rather boring," Harry mused. "And wet. And sloppy. And it
doesn't involve my cock at all."
Laughing, Remus shook his head. "Perhaps you haven't kissed the right person
yet." Still chuckling, Remus got up and moved towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked, disappointed the conversation seemed to be
over already.
"After this, I do need a stiff drink," Remus replied with a grin, and left
Harry alone in the library.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
Dear Hermione,
How is Italy? I hope your parents are okay. Give them my regards.
The reason I'm writing you is I have a few questions you might be able to help
me with, since you always seem to know about relationships and such.
Hypothetical questions, mind. Let's say I know a person who had the chance to
have sex with someone that person cared about, but they didn't want to. That
person does like kissing, by the way, so it's not as if they're not interested
in sex.
Thanks,
Harry
 
                                     * * *
Dear Harry,
Italy is just wonderful! We've been to Naples and Rome, and we visited the tiny
wizarding school in Florence, even though it was closed for the holidays, but
they have such a brilliant library there. We're in Venice now, and the canals
are even lovelier than I imagined. And my parents are fine, thank you. They
send their regards.
As for your question: perhaps this person isn't feeling ready for sex yet,
Harry. Some people feel they should wait until they meet the right person. And
others, even though they have met the right person already, decide to wait a
while before having sex. It can be intimidating, the whole idea of sex,
especially if they're still a virgin.
Are you seeing someone, Harry? Is it Ginny? Does Ron know about this? I know
you just spent time at the Burrow. Have you been trying to pressure Ginny into
having sex with you?
Love,
Hermione
                                     * * *
Dear Hermione,
No, I'm not seeing Ginny and I've not pressured her into anything, thanks ever
so much. I'm not seeing anyone. As I said, those questions were hypothetical.
But thanks for your letter. Your answers helped a lot.
Harry
                                   *~*~*~*~*
Harry stared at Remus over the chessboard. Remus was glancing down, pondering
his next move, so Harry had a moment to give Remus a good look before it became
suspicious.
While at first he hadn't believed Hermione's suggestions – Remus was old, and
as far as Harry knew, old people weren't virgins – after having tried to talk
about sex with Remus the whole week, Harry was forced to conclude it might be
possible Remus had never had sex before.
He certainly didn't seem to know a great deal about it.
"Ron was the first person I've ever shagged," Harry said as casually as he
could. Remus dropped his pawn. "You know, I plan to have sex with other people,
too, of course, but Ron was the first. Who was your first shag?"
Inhaling a deep, patient breath, Remus retrieved his pawn from the floor and
gave Harry a dark stare.
"I think I'm from a generation that doesn't speak that freely about their past
encounters," Remus said slowly. "After all, a gentleman never tells."
"Ah," Harry said with a careless shrug.
"And why do you insist on talking about sex the whole day, Harry? There are
other things that matter in this world."
"I'm sixteen," Harry said, trying to make it sound apologetic.
"That is still not an excuse to let your rampant hormones control your life,"
Remus said briskly. "Perhaps it's time you grew up."
Harry swallowed. "But I was just saying..."
"Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps not everyone is as comfortable as you
about discussing sex in such a careless manner?" Remus got up, straightened his
robes, and marched out of the room.
"Er...no," Harry said to the door banging shut. Harry knew defeat when it
practically hit him in the face, and he realized he needed more help to solve
this case. Possibly even adult help.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
"Wotcher, Harry!"
"Hullo, Tonks," Harry said with a smile as he entered the kitchen.
"Ready for your first defense lesson?" Tonks beamed at him, and promptly tipped
over her glass of milk. "Oh, bugger."
Harry chuckled, watching Tonks flick her wand to clean up the mess. And then he
had an idea. Tonks was an adult, after all, and women, in Harry's experience,
were a lot more adept about matters like the one Harry was struggling with.
"Can I have a word with you?" Harry asked, and scuffed his shoe against the
floor. "In private?"
Tonks' face lit up, as if she'd been waiting her whole life for someone to ask
her for a word in private. "Of course!"
"Er...okay. This way, then." Harry, vaguely wondering if this had been a good
idea, led Tonks up the stairs to his bedroom. Tonks flopped down on his bed
while Harry closed the door to ensure their privacy.
"What did you want to talk about?" Tonks asked, looking at him for a moment
before her attention was drawn to the picture of Sirius on Harry's nightstand.
Harry made a vague gesture to stop Tonks from picking it up, but he was too
late. Tonks turned the picture frame around in her hands, and dropped it.
Harry inhaled a sharp breath, but the frame bounced on his bed and landed
against Tonks' knee.
"It's still in one piece!" Tonks shifted, went to pick up the frame, and
managed to sit on it. Harry heard a muffled crack, and released a deep sigh.
"No worries. I can fix it," Tonks said, her cheeks flushing as she reached for
her wand.
Harry pulled up his desk chair and sat down, glancing around to make sure there
wasn't anything else nearby Tonks could get her lethal hands on. "So, about
this talk," he started. "It's personal, sort of. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all," Tonks said, leaning forward with an encouraging smile.
"It's about sex," Harry whispered, giving Tonks a calculated look.
"Oh. You have questions about sex? Let's hear them."
"All right. What does it mean when a person says they don't want to talk about
sex?"
Tonks frowned. "You mean someone you'd like to have sex with?" she asked
slowly.
"Well," Harry sighed. "Perhaps. But the point is, whenever I bring it up, this
person gets rather cranky."
"Ah," Tonks said, and then her frown deepened. "I think I know what the problem
could be."
"Yeah?"
"I see it with my parents all the time," Tonks continued. "Of course, I don't
have this problem myself, but my mum can get very cranky from time to time when
my dad mentions sex."
Harry swallowed. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear about Mr and Mrs Tonks' sex
life.
"Women can be quite sensitive when it comes to their looks. If a bloke even
implies that a woman doesn't look good enough, they'll refuse sex for the rest
of the month. Won't even talk about it. My dad once made the mistake of
mentioning that my mum's new dress made her look chubby, and she hexed his
mouth shut. It took him a trip to St Mungo's and a lot of flowers and sweets to
make it up."
"Okay," Harry said, slightly confused. Remus wasn't a woman, but perhaps this
was more of a general adult thing than a female thing. "So what should I do to
make this person want to talk about sex?"
"Compliment them," Tonks said with a wide smile. "You've got to let them know
you think they're everything you want in a person."
"I can do that," Harry said, nodding.
"It'll work like a charm, I promise you," Tonks said, getting up from the bed.
"Ready for your lessons now?"
"Sure," Harry said, and followed Tonks out of the room, thinking he already
knew exactly what to say to Remus that evening.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
"I think you're a very handsome man," Harry said in between cutting the carrots
and washing the lettuce.
Remus froze beside him, his knife dropping to the counter. Harry glanced at him
and wondered if it had been the right thing to say.
And then Remus cupped his chin, leaned his face closer, and for a moment Harry
was sure Remus was going to kiss him. And worse yet, Harry thought he really
wouldn't mind if Remus kissed him.
But Remus' lips never touched his. Instead, Remus sniffed Harry's breath.
"Are you drunk? Have you been stealing my firewhisky?"
"No," Harry said in a small voice, staring into Remus' narrowed eyes.
"Hm," Remus said, releasing Harry and picking his knife up again. "Then I
suspect Moody's been refilling his hip flask every time he stops by."
The only sound that followed was the knife scraping across the wooden board as
Remus sliced the cuts of beef. Harry kept staring at him, wondering if Remus
had even heard what he'd said. And as Harry took in Remus' brown eyes, the
little crease between his eyebrows that always appeared when he was
concentrating, and the pursed lips – very nicely shaped lips – Harry realized
he did think Remus was a very handsome man.
"I mean it," he said, lowering his gaze and pretending to concern himself with
the carrots.
"Don't be ridiculous," Remus muttered.
"No, really. You have very nice eyes and –"
"Harry, stop spouting this nonsense," Remus said, and Harry snapped his mouth
shut, unable to think what he'd done wrong now. He wasn't getting any closer to
solving this case – whatever the case was, because he'd lost track of it a few
days ago – and he was running out of resources.
Harry sighed and dropped the carrots in the pan. Perhaps it was time to bring
in the big guns.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
"Well done, Harry." Kingsley wiped at his sweaty forehead with a towel, and
then threw it at Harry.
"Thanks," Harry said with a proud grin. He really liked hearing he was doing
well in dueling from a real Auror. Besides Tonks, Kingsley had also been
recruited to give Harry extra defense lessons, which was why Harry had just
spent an hour dodging the hexes Kingsley had thrown at him. He slid off his
glasses and wiped the perspiration off his face.
"Sir, I was wondering – "
"Make me feel old, why don't you," Kingsley said with a chuckle. "I have a
name. You can use it."
"All right," Harry said, intimidated to call a person with Kingsley's physique
anything but 'sir.' "Kingsley, I was wondering if I could have a chat with
you."
Kingsley regarded him for a moment, his brown eyes narrowing. "Is this about
sex?"
"God," Harry gasped, his eyes wide. "How did you know?"
"I've been your age and I know that look," Kingsley said, grinning.
Harry stopped fidgeting with the towel and shuffling his shoes over the floor.
"Yeah, it might be about...that."
"It's normal to get erections at any given time, to wake up with sticky boxers,
and to want to wank 24 hours a day. Do you need to know more?"
Rolling his eyes, Harry took a seat in one of the drawing room's leather
chairs. "I already knew that," he muttered.
"Ah. I'll need more information, then," Kingsley said, sitting down in a chair
opposite Harry.
"It's just that I've been trying to talk to this person about sex, and they
simply refuse it," Harry said softly, giving Kingsley a curious look.
"Wait," Kingsley said, frowning. "You want to actually talk to someone about
sex? Because when I was your age, I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to
do it. Come to think of it, that hasn't really changed over the years."
Harry sighed. "Yeah, well, I'm not quite sure if I want to have sex with this
person. But if I could talk to him about it, I might figure it out."
"Him," Kingsley repeated in his deep voice.
Feeling his cheeks flush, Harry stared at Kingsley with wide eyes. He hadn't
meant to give that away.
"Hey, mate, whatever tickles your broomstick." Kingsley made a vague gesture,
as if to wave Harry's worries away.
"It's a him," Harry sighed.
"Now, I know a thing or two about charming the birds, but I'm not sure if I can
help you with charming a bloke."
"Bloody hell," Harry said, his brow creasing in annoyance. "I'm running out of
people to ask for advice."
"Do I know him?" Kingsley asked after a moment of silence. "Because if I do, I
might be able to help you out a bit. It's my job as an Auror to observe people
and judge their character, after all."
Harry stared at Kingsley, wondering if he could trust him not to freak out or
spill his secret to others. Kingsley didn't seem the type to panic or to
gossip, so after a minute Harry decided he probably could tell Kingsley.
"It's Remus," he whispered.
"Remus? As in Remus Lupin?" Kingsley asked, his eyes widening.
"Yeah," Harry said miserably. He braced himself for the lecture that would
surely follow, on how inappropriate it was for a boy like him to think about a
man like Remus.
"I went to school with Remus," Kingsley said, and Harry looked up at him in
surprise. "He was always a quiet one. Never interacted much with people besides
his closest friends."
"I think he's still a virgin," Harry confessed, worrying his lip.
Kingsley's mouth dropped open.
"Seriously," Harry added.
"Oh, boy," Kingsley sighed. "You've got your work cut out for you, mate."
"Tell me about it."
Kingsley chuckled. "I don't think it's a lost cause, though. You have to
approach this like you would any problem. Get to know the facts, so you can
fill in the blanks. Is he queer?"
"Yep," Harry said. "He told me."
"Is he seeing anyone at this moment?"
"Don't think so. He's never mentioned anyone, and he spends most of his time
here."
"He has a problem talking about sex?"
"You can say that again."
"Perhaps it's time you stopped talking, and started acting," Kingsley said,
grinning.
Harry frowned. "How do you mean?"
"Because, obviously, talking isn't getting you anywhere."
"Good point."
"Let's see what else we know about Remus," Kingsley said, leaning forward in
his chair. "He's smart. He's sensitive. And he's got a condition that makes it
hard for him to trust strangers."
Harry nodded.
"I think he just needs to know you care," Kingsley said with a final note to
his voice.
"Huh?"
"Birds need to hear it all the time. I think it goes for Remus, too. He needs
to know he matters to you. You've got to charm him a bit. Make sure he knows
you think he's special. Be a good listener. He needs to warm up to you before
he'll ever consider sex."
"And if I do that, you think he'll want to talk about sex?" Harry asked,
confused.
"I think you need to drop your obsession with talking about sex, Harry,"
Kingsley said with a teasing smile.
Harry sighed. "All right. I'll just try to do as you said. Thanks."
"No problem." Kingsley got up. "I've got to get back to the Ministry. See you
next week. And good luck."
Harry got to his feet as well. "Kingsley," he said, arching a worried eyebrow.
"You don't think it's odd I might be interested in someone like Remus?"
"I'm an Auror, Harry. I've seen weirder things in my days." Kingsley put his
hand on Harry's shoulder. "As long as you don't go joining the Death Eaters,
I'm not interfering with anything you do."
Harry smiled and watched Kingsley leave, trying to come up with a plan for that
evening. This had better work, he thought absently, because he was running out
of options.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
"I've made you a cup of tea," Harry said, pushing the drawing room door open
with his elbow as he carried the cup inside the room.
"Thank you," Remus said, looking up from his book. "That's very kind."
Harry sat the cup down on a side table, and sank down on the couch beside
Remus. He watched Remus sip his tea and tried to think of something to say that
would tell Remus he cared.
"I'm really glad you're my friend," he said, staring at Remus to measure his
response.
Remus looked at him and smiled. "I'm glad you're my friend, too."
So far, so good. Harry shifted a bit closer to Remus. "Especially after what
happened last year."
Remus nodded.
"If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me," Harry said
hopefully.
Remus frowned.
"I'm a good listener," Harry tried, fearing he was close to messing things up
again.
"That's good to know," Remus said, and picked up his book again.
Harry sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. This wasn't going at all as he
thought it would. Remus was ignoring him. What had Kingsley said again?
"I just want you to know I care," Harry said in one last attempt to salvage the
situation.
Remus slowly lowered his book and stared at Harry. "What are you trying to do?"
"Er..."
"You've been acting oddly ever since you arrived here. Does this have to do
with Sirius' death? Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," Harry said. "It's got nothing to do with that."
"Then what is going on?" Remus' voice darkened, and Harry felt his heart
hammering in his chest. Remus didn't seem to be warming up to him at all.
And then he remembered what Kingsley had said. Don't talk. Act.
Inhaling a deep breath, Harry leaned closer and pressed his lips to Remus' in a
desperate kiss.
Remus stiffened, and for a moment Harry thought Remus would kiss him back, but
then Remus grabbed his shoulder and pushed him away.
"What on earth is the meaning of this, Harry?"
"You said you liked kissing!" Harry said, his voice raised.
"That doesn't mean I want you to go around kissing me!" Remus countered in an
equally loud voice. It made Harry flinch.
"Then what do you want me to do?" Harry gasped for breath, at a complete loss
as to what had gone wrong this time. "I like you. A lot. And I think you're
handsome. And I do care."
"You can't be serious," Remus said in a tone of disbelief.
"I am," Harry said, his voice softer now. "I'm not sure what I want, but I do
know whatever it is, it involves you."
"Are you saying that," Remus swallowed and paused for a moment, "you want me?"
Harry blinked. While he'd never asked himself that question, now that Remus
asked him Harry had to conclude that yes, he wanted Remus. He nodded.
"Have you gone completely insane?" Remus shot up from the couch, staring down
at Harry.
"No," Harry said, squeezing his hands into fists to stop them from trembling.
"Have you no eyes?"
"Er..."
"How could you possibly ever want someone like me?" Remus said, his expression
morphing from disbelief to anger.
"Someone like you?" Harry asked in a small voice.
"Yes, Harry. Someone like me. Someone with my condition."
"I...er..."
"Let me guess," Remus said bitterly. "You hadn't thought of it."
"I hadn't, no," Harry said with a frown. "But I don't see – "
"Then perhaps it's time you did think about it, before jumping my bones." Remus
turned on his heel and stomped out of the room. Harry stared after him, his
mouth hanging open.
So it wasn't about sex at all. It was about Remus being a werewolf. Harry
sighed and had to admit that he didn't know a great deal about werewolves. Not
enough to know why Remus thought that was a problem for them, anyway.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
Harry knew it would be hard to sneak up on a person who sported a magical eye
that could see through walls and invisibility cloaks. Not to mention the back
of a head. But since Harry had a good idea where Mad Eye Moody would go after
his brief meeting with Remus in the kitchen, it turned out to be easier than
he'd thought it would be to follow Moody to the drawing room without being
seen.
As Moody pulled out his hip flask and reached for Remus' bottle of firewhisky
in the dresser, Harry threw the door open and stomped inside the room.
"Potter," Moody said, fixing his magical eye on Harry. "What do you want?"
"That's Remus' firewhisky," Harry said, his voice neutral.
Moody stared down at the bottle in his hand, and only now seemed to realize
Harry'd caught him in an improper act.
"But I won't tell anyone about this, if you give me some advice." Harry crossed
his arms and tilted his head in a silent dare.
"Blackmail is against the law," Moody grumbled.
"So is stealing," Harry countered, his lips twitching up in an amused smile.
"So it is," Moody said, and nodded. He unscrewed first his hip flask and then
the bottle of whisky. "What's this advice you need?" he asked, pouring the
amber liquid from the bottle into his flask.
"It's about werewolves," Harry said, closing the drawing room door. "I need to
know if there's something about werewolves that makes it hard for them
to...bond with someone else."
Moody replaced the bottle of whisky in the dresser and thumped across the room
to the couch. "Sit down," he said, taking a seat himself. He waited until Harry
was settled in a chair opposite him, and then continued, "It's all about scars,
boy."
"Huh?"
"Scars," Moody said, and rapped his knuckles against his wooden leg. "Some
carry theirs on the outside, while others keep them on the inside. Most of us
have them. Werewolves have big ones."
"Big scars?" Harry said dubiously, not sure what Moody was getting at.
"Yeah, big scars. It makes it hard to be close to other people."
Harry stared at Moody and wondered if the man was serious. He had no idea what
Moody was trying to say.
"You have one," Moody said, gesturing at Harry's head. "A small one, but you're
still young. I reckon you'll have gathered a few bigger ones by the time you're
my age."
Rubbing across the mark on his forehead, Harry thought he understood what Moody
was saying. "Scars remind us of what we are, right?"
"Wrong," Moody said. "They remind others of what we are." He grinned, his
grizzled face creasing even further. "You think about that."
Harry watched how Moody got up and limped out of the room, his wooden leg
clunking on the floor.
Was that Remus' problem? Harry wasn't sure, because as far as he knew Remus
didn't have any scars. And then he realized he'd never seen Remus undressed. As
a matter of fact, Remus seemed to go out of his way to make sure Harry never
saw him without any clothes on.
Perhaps Moody did have a point. Now all Harry needed was a way to talk to Remus
about it without it once again resulting in Remus fleeing the room.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
Harry waited until late that evening, when Remus announced he was going to bed.
A few moments after Remus left the kitchen, Harry inhaled a deep breath and
walked up the stairs, intent on having another chat with Remus.
He found Remus in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. Moving as casually as he
could, Harry entered the bathroom and stood beside Remus at the sink. He looked
at himself in the mirror for a minute and then glanced at Remus' reflection.
"People always stare at it," he said, his voice almost a whisper.
Remus' eyes shot up and met his gaze in the mirror.
"My scar, I mean. People always stare at it and think they know me, just
because I have that stupid scar."
Remus' hand stilled, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth.
"I can't hide it." Harry ruffled his hair, trying to cover the red mark on his
forehead. "I'm not sure if that makes it easier or not."
Swallowing, Remus lowered his toothbrush and gave Harry a peculiar look.
"Anyway, it was nice talking to you," Harry said, shrugging. "Good night." And
with that, he left the bathroom and made his way to his bedroom.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
Just when Harry'd crawled under his sheets and was about the turn off the
light, a knock sounded on his door.
"Yeah?"
"It's me," Remus said, and pushed the door open. He was only wearing a dressing
gown, and Harry thought he'd never seen Remus with so little clothing on
before.
Harry sat up in his bed and gave Remus an expectant stare. Closing the door
behind him and pulling the dressing gown tightly around his thin frame, Remus
gave Harry a smile.
"About what you said," Remus said, walking towards the bed, his bare feet not
making a sound.
"About my scar?" Harry guessed before Remus could finish his sentence.
"Yes." Remus sat down on the foot of Harry's bed. "I think it's easier if you
can't hide it. Perhaps it's too tempting to not give people a glimpse of who
you really are if you can."
Harry stared at Remus, his mouth going dry. "Do you have a scar?" he asked, his
voice a thick rasp.
"Yes," Remus said.
"And you hide it?"
"Yes."
"Can I see it?"
Remus closed his eyes, and for a moment Harry thought he was going to refuse.
But then Remus' hands moved to the cord of his gown and pulled it open, the
fabric falling to the side and revealing Remus' pale chest. Harry sucked his
bottom lip into his mouth when he saw the thick, red welt.
The scar started above Remus' left nipple and went down all the way to below
his navel, where it branched out into dozens of thin, angry lines that curled
around each other, patched together like a morbid jigsaw puzzle.
Remus' eyes were still closed, and Harry leaned forward, kicking the sheets
aside as he reached out his hand. He pushed the remaining of the fabric out of
the way and had to inhale an unsteady breath when he noticed that Remus was
naked underneath. The thin scars went down all the way to his flaccid penis,
hovering above the organ like a threatening claw.
His breath catching in his throat, Harry traced his fingers over the marred
patch of flesh. Remus snapped his eyes open, his skin shivering under Harry's
soft touch.
"Don't."
Harry pulled his hand back, nodding. "So you have a scar," he said, because he
didn't know what else to say.
Remus said nothing and didn't meet Harry's gaze.
"I've got a big scar as well," Harry said, offering his knee to Remus. "Not as
impressive as yours, but it's quite deep. I got it when I fell out of a tree
when I was eight. Well, actually, Dudley pulled me out of the tree. Here,
look." He pointed at the red line on his knee, about three inches long.
Chuckling, Remus shook his head and moved on the bed. Harry was afraid he was
going to leave, but much to his surprise Remus hoisted his left leg onto the
mattress.
"A niffler bit me there in my third year at Hogwarts." Remus pointed at a faint
pink mark on his ankle.
Harry snorted. "Here, I slipped in the shower once and cut my shoulder on the
tap." He turned so Remus could see the whitish line on his left shoulder.
"That's nothing," Remus said, and shrugged half of his dressing gown off,
offering Harry a look at a thick scar his right arm. "I burned myself on the
stove when I was ten. Right there."
"I got this when Umbridge had me do lines in detention last year," Harry
whispered, holding out his hand. The words had faded but faint, red marks
remained.
Remus narrowed his eyes and ran his thumb over the back of Harry's hand. It
made Harry shiver and he released a ragged breath.
"I got this when I was almost killed by a werewolf when I was six," Remus said,
waving at his own chest.
"I got this when Voldemort killed my parents and tried to kill me," Harry said,
gesturing at his forehead.
"I'm a werewolf."
"I'm Harry Potter. That's far worse. I win." Harry tried to give Remus an
honest smile, but he felt the corners of his mouth quiver.
Remus looked down and sighed. "Harry, I'm not sure – "
"So this is why you didn't want to have sex with Sirius?" Harry asked, not
wanting to give Remus the opportunity to reject him again.
"Yes," Remus said. "It's not something I want someone to see who only wants to
have casual sex with me, no matter if he's my best friend or not."
"But you're showing it to me," Harry mused, staring at the thick scar on Remus'
body.
Remus seemed surprised by that observation. "Yes, I suppose I am."
"Can I touch it?"
"Harry, you really shouldn't – "
"I want to. I really want to."
"All right," Remus said after a moment of silence. He leaned back against the
footboard, and Harry shifted closer to him, reaching his hand out. He traced
the tips of his fingers down the scar, noticing how hot Remus' skin was.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked, thinking that after the disaster the previous time
he'd tried, he'd better get Remus' permission first.
Remus stared at him with hooded eyes, his body still under Harry's inquisitive
touches. "I thought you didn't like kissing."
Chuckling, Harry leaned his face closer to Remus'. "Yeah, but you said all I
had to do was kiss the right person."
"You think I'm the right person?"
"There's only one way to find out." Harry licked his lips, his hand traveling
so far down he felt the hairs around Remus' cock tickle his fingers. Remus
jerked, and Harry wanted to pull back when suddenly Remus put his hand on
Harry's shoulder and drew him closer.
And then their lips were touching, and Harry opened his mouth and met Remus'
tongue with his own. He felt clumsy, inadequate, and he was glad when Remus
cupped the back of his head and held it still so he could explore Harry's
mouth. Harry let him, trying to meet his pace, their lips and tongues moving in
soft, gentle strokes.
Finally, Remus pulled back and took a deep breath. "And?"
"That was good," Harry breathed. "I liked that. A lot."
"I'm glad." Remus glanced down. "I'm not sure if we should do this, though."
"Why not?"
"You're still so young," Remus whispered.
"I'll be seventeen next week," Harry said with a shrug. "And I don't care that
you're old."
Remus snorted with laughter, and Harry felt his cheeks flush.
H
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to," Harry tried, because he
didn't want Remus to leave.
"What do you want to do?" Remus asked, trailing his hand through Harry's hair.
"Maybe kiss more?"
Smiling, Remus pulled Harry closer. "We can do that," he said, before brushing
his lips across Harry's.
                                   *~*~*~*~*
Harry thought this had to be his best birthday yet.
"Oh God, Harry," Remus moaned, curling his hand in Harry's hair.
Harry hummed around the head of Remus' cock, licking at the slit as he moved
his fist around the hard shaft.
"Yes, that's it, that's it," Remus breathed, his hips bucking up.
Shifting on the mattress to get a better angle, Harry sucked Remus' cock down
as far as he could, feeling it press against the back of his throat. He
hollowed his cheeks, licking the underside of Remus' prick with his tongue over
and over again.
"Almost, God, almost."
Harry stared at Remus' face, creased in rapture, perspiration shining on his
forehead. He cupped Remus' sac while trailing his other hand over Remus' scar.
"Yes!"
And Harry's mouth was flooded with Remus' release, bitter and sweet, and Harry
swallowed every last drop, sucking as hard as he could while Remus trembled
beneath him.
"God, Harry," Remus sighed. He tilted his head off the pillow and gave Harry a
lazy smile.
"You liked that?" Harry asked, nuzzling the damp hair around Remus' softening
cock.
"Yes, quite. But I do feel that it should be me doing you this favor. It's your
birthday."
Harry grinned and crawled up Remus' body. "I told you I like to suck cock. This
is the best birthday present I've ever had."
Chuckling, Remus wrapped his arms around Harry and held him close. "Happy
birthday to you."
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Happy birthday to me."
                                   *~*~*~*~*
"Remus?"
"Hm?" Remus rolled onto his side so he could look at Harry.
"Would you let me fuck you?" Harry asked. He'd been contemplating the question
for two weeks now, ever since that night they'd compared scars.
"Do you want to?"
"Well, yeah," Harry said, frowning. "Don't you?"
Remus stared at Harry, his face an unreadable mask.
"I already know you're still a virgin," Harry said in an attempt to reassure
Remus. "I'll be gentle and all."
"I beg your pardon?" Remus shot up, looking down at Harry with a surprised
quirk of his eyebrow.
Harry shrugged and slowly pushed himself up to sit beside Remus. "It's rather
obvious."
"It is?"
"Yeah, I figured it out after Hermione gave me advice."
"You asked Hermione for advice?" Remus looked dumbfounded.
"Yeah, Hermione and a few others."
Remus narrowed his eyes, a heated blush staining his cheeks. "Exactly how many
people have you asked for advice, Harry?"
Staring up at the ceiling, Harry tried to remember. "Five. But they don't know
it's about you. Not really. Well, perhaps Ron and Kingsley do know, but they
don't mind."
Opening his mouth, Remus seemed to want to say something, but after a moment,
he closed it again. Harry gave him a sheepish grin.
"That explains all those odd attempts of yours," Remus finally said. "You were
following advice."
"Yeah," Harry said, and fumbled with the corner of the sheet. "At first, I just
wanted to find out why you hadn't wanted to shag Sirius, and then, as I thought
about you, and I thought about you a lot, I realized I wanted you."
"Oh, Harry," Remus said, and Harry was worried Remus would get angry with him.
He didn't dare look at Remus and waited for the outburst that would surely
follow. Then a deep, rumbling sound filled the room, and Harry realized Remus
was laughing. He was laughing so hard he fell back to the mattress and curled
up, his arm wrapped around his stomach.
Harry felt offended. "Well, it worked, didn't it?"
"Yes, yes, it did," Remus croaked in between snorts of laughter.
Harry sniffed, and punched Remus on the shoulder. "Shut up." Which only made
Remus laugh harder, until Harry couldn't hold back a chuckle himself.
It took Remus a long time to catch his breath, and all the while Harry leaned
back against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling and tapping his foot
against the bed.
Rubbing his hands across his face, Remus managed to sit up again. He looked at
Harry with a warm smile. "Yes," he said.
"Yes what?" Harry gave him a brief glare.
"Yes, you may fuck me."
"Oh." Harry's lips started to tremble, and he pursed them to stop his sudden
nervousness from showing. "Right now?"
"If you want to." Remus' eyes looked so warm in the dim light, and Harry leaned
closer to him. He didn't know what to say, feeling as if he'd lost his ability
to speak, so instead he pressed his lips to Remus'.
Remus opened his mouth and Harry pushed his tongue inside, eager and confident,
and aroused by the idea of finally getting to fuck Remus, something he'd been
fantasizing about for weeks now.
Burying his hands in Remus' hair, Harry rolled on top of him, and they both
slid down to the mattress, Harry wriggling his body between Remus' legs,
hissing when he felt Remus' cock touch his own.
"Harry, easy," Remus breathed against his lips. "We've got all night."
"Yeah," Harry said, though he didn't agree. He felt like he'd explode if he
didn't manage to thrust his cock inside Remus within five minutes. "We need
lube."
"Hang on," Remus said, and leaned over to the nightstand, grabbing blindly
inside the drawer. He retrieved a small tube and pressed it into Harry's hand.
"Body lotion?" Harry shrugged as he uncapped it. "That should work."
Remus smiled and relaxed against the bed, while Harry felt his hands tremble as
he coated his fingers with the slick substance.
"You need to relax," he told Remus, reaching his hand down between Remus' legs.
"I am relaxed," Remus said, pulling his legs up.
"Right." Harry stared at Remus' face while he searched for Remus' entrance.
When he found it, he tried to slide a finger inside, but his hands were
trembling too much, and all he managed was to tease Remus' pucker.
"I think you need to relax," Remus whispered with a teasing smile.
"Shut up," Harry mumbled, his brow tugging up in a frown as he tried to
concentrate on preparing Remus. "I'm about to have sex. And you want me to
relax?"
"I thought you'd done this before," Remus said, and then he inhaled a sharp
breath when Harry finally slid a finger inside.
"Yeah, I have. A few times. But it's not like I'm an expert."
"Harry, come here." Remus reached for Harry's head and pulled him down. "You're
doing fine." He gave Harry a kiss, and Harry didn't think just one kiss was
enough to put his nerves to rest. He captured Remus' mouth in a second kiss,
deep and hurried this time, and thrust another finger inside Remus' tight
channel.
"Feels nice," Remus whispered against Harry's lips.
"Yeah," Harry agreed, moving his fingers in and out until he felt Remus' body
accept the intrusion enough for him to move on. "I think you're ready now."
"Yes, I think so, too." Remus licked his lips, and Harry couldn't take his eyes
off him. Remus had such beautiful lips, moist and glistening in the soft light.
Squirting lotion on his cock, Harry settled between Remus' legs, and gently
pressed his arse cheeks apart.
"Ready?" Harry asked, more to himself than to Remus.
"Yes."
"Okay." Harry pressed the head of his cock against Remus' slick pucker,
watching Remus' face carefully for any signs of discomfort. But Remus looked at
ease, giving him a half-smile, so Harry pushed further and breached Remus'
entrance, his cock sliding inside a few inches.
"Oh," Harry moaned. "Oh God, you're so tight."
"More, Harry."
Harry thrust his hips once, and buried his cock inside Remus' body to the base.
He leaned down, his chest pressing to Remus, the deep scar hidden between them,
and moved his hips back before thrusting inside Remus again.
"Oh, that's so good," Harry moaned against Remus' throat. He felt Remus smile
against his temple, and moved his hips again, and again, his cock throbbing
inside Remus' channel. He felt his sac tighten and he gritted his teeth, not
wanting it to be over yet. But his body failed him, and after only a few more
thrusts Harry came with a muffled cry, his hands curling around Remus'
shoulders while his cock spurted his release inside Remus.
"Fuck," Harry sighed, not daring to look up at Remus, his cock giving a few
last twitches inside Remus' arse.
"That was..." Remus said, an amused note to his voice.
"Brief?" Harry offered, glancing up at Remus from under his eyelashes.
"An interesting start," Remus said, and cupped Harry's face with both hands so
he could press a kiss to Harry's lips.
"I can do better than that," Harry said against Remus' mouth. "Much better."
"I'm sure you can."
"You haven't even..." Harry worried his lip, feeling Remus' hard cock press
against his abdomen.
"There are other ways to take care of that." Remus smiled, and gave Harry
another kiss. "We'll just have to give this a few more tries."
"You mean you want to do it again?" Harry raised his head and stared down at
Remus, a hopeful flutter swirling through his stomach.
"Yes."
Harry grinned, and looked at Remus' face for a minute. "I really think you're a
handsome man."
"And I think you need new glasses," Remus said. Harry chuckled, and pulled his
spent cock from Remus' body. He licked his lips and then sidled down Remus'
chest.
"What are you doing?" Remus asked, tilting his head off the pillow.
"Something I'm really good at," Harry said, his face hovering above Remus' hard
cock.
Remus let his head fall back to the pillow, his body relaxing as Harry trailed
one hand over Remus' scar and used the other to guide Remus' cock to his mouth.
"I can't argue with that," Remus moaned, his eyes fluttering shut.
 
~~fin~~
End Notes
     A/N: As part of a contest, Xntrick got to request a fic. Her request
     was: Harry/Remus. First-time. But it's not Harry's first time.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!