Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/12927294. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Dear_Evan_Hansen_-_Pasek_&_Paul/Levenson Relationship: Evan_Hansen/Connor_Murphy Character: Connor_Murphy_(Dear_Evan_Hansen), Evan_Hansen, Jared_Kleinman_referenced Additional Tags: im_gross, i_had_insomnia_and_no_internet_so_this_happened, Plot_What Plot/Porn_Without_Plot, Well_kinda_plot, Smut, Bathroom_Sex, Hair- pulling, Blow_Jobs, Choking, Choking_Kink, Crying, Crying_Kink, Crying During_Sex, hi_did_i_mention_im_gross, Alternate_Universe_-_Canon Divergence, Connor_has_multicolored_eyes, i_hc_Evan_as_rly_gross_so_thats why_he's_kinda_occ_in_this, if_it_counts_as_occ_idk Series: Part 1 of me_projecting_my_kinks_and_also_treebros_or_whatever Stats: Published: 2017-12-06 Words: 1700 ****** If it'll make you feel better ****** by K_K_Savage_Memes Summary Connor has a breakdown in the bathroom after Jared fucks with him over his long hair. Evan just wants to help the guy yelling in the bathroom calm down. Too bad Evan Hansen's a gross boi who likes to ignore sarcasm and take things way to literally. Or the one where I project my kinks and grossness on these poor boys Notes Tbh its not one of my fics unless there's some sort of bleeding and/ or crying involved at some point I like projecting my kinks. Anyway I've been having insomnia again and also listening to deh again and I've basically had this idea when I first got into this thing Anyway here we are even though I have like 8 other half written things I should be finishing instead of writing some new thing. This is kinda AU-ish. Basically Jared makes his school shooter joke at Connor but Evan doesn't "laugh" so Connor doesn't pay attention to him and then he runs off to stop himself from like starting a fight or something. Also I have a headcanon that Connor has blue and green eyes so that. Also also does Connor smoke cigarettes?? No idea tbh but he does now See the end of the work for more notes Connor slammed the door to the boy's bathroom open causing it to hit the wall making a loud echoing sound. His hands ran through his long-ish hair before pulling violently as he let out a frustrated yell before speed walking to one of the stalls and pulling it open. He twitched as he flopped onto the seat and fumbled through his bag to find his cigarettes and matches. Who the fuck does that kid think he is?? 'School shooter chic' Really? Fucking really?! Connor made another frustrated sound as he rummaged threw his bag, not finding his cancer sticks. He kicked the stall wall and threw his bag across the room, hitting the sink. He screamed into his hands and tugged at his hair again. 'You're such a freak' Connor was never particularly good at expressing himself. But recently he had been trying to experiment as they called it. He started painting his nails and that summer he chose to start growing his hair out. He never really liked having short hair in the first place. And then, then that fucking asshole Jared Kleinman had to go and be a dick about it. The teen was just about to get up and maybe punch the mirror or search through his bag again but when he looked up he saw some kid standing in front of the stall he was in, looking awkward as fuck. He flinched when he noticed Connor looking at him. He tried to start talking but it was mostly awkward "u-um" 's or incoherent mumbling. He twisted the bottom of his stripped shirt before taking a deep breath and quickly and kinda loudly starting to actually talk. "Ijustwantedtoapologizeforwhatjaredsaidtoyoubeforitwasreallymeanandimreallysorry" Connor starred blankly at the other as he took another deep breath. What the fuck? Oh wait, there was another kid behind Jared during the whole "let's make fun of the obviously messed up kid" thing. He had looked uncomfortable while Jared made his stupid joke and apparently had come to say sorry? Connor made a 'pfft' sound and stood up from his stop in the stall, shoving the anxious teen away from him he walked over to the sink and grabbed his discarded bag and opened to get his cigarettes, throwing the bag at the mirror once he pulled the objects out. "Sorry?" Connor laughed and smacked himself in the forehead with his palm. "Wow! Well that sure fixes everything doesn't it! While we're at it why don't I just be more 'positive' and everyone will stop thinking I'm gonna shot the school up!" The blonde boy flinched. Violently pulling the plastic off the small packet, Connor grabbed a match and lit one of the cigarettes before turning back to the other teen. "Because apparent-fucking-ly we live in a magical fantasy land where getting a second hand sorry from someone just makes everything all better!" He yelled, throwing the box at the wall and walked over to the other teen who was starring at the floor, shaking a bit and shoved him in the shoulder causing him to hit the wall. "You're gonna have to get on your knees and make it a real good apology before I think of forgiving anyone for anything ever." Connor says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes and stalks back over to the stall he was previously in and sat down, taking a drag of the nicotine stick and lolled his head back to stare and the ceiling. He glanced over when he heard quiet mumbling. "Speak the fuck up or get the fuck out." The anxious teen flinched back again. Connor was lowkey worrying this kid's been through some sort of abuse to make him flich every time someone talked. The boy blinked his blue eyes up from the floor to met Connor's before awkwardly talking. "W-would that make you feel better...?" Connor blinked. "Would what make me feel better?" The other boy bit his lip and looked back down at the floor before walking over to Connor and dropping down to his knees in front of him. He gently touched one of his knees and looked up at him with wide freaked eyes. Connor felt blush rush to his head and his eyes widened a bit. Was this kid serious? Did this awkward crybaby just offer him a apology blowjob?? What, the, fuck???? Said awkward crybaby seemed to panic at Connor's lack of a reaction and started to pull away to probably run off in embarrassment. Connor grabbed the back of his head and held him there before he could get up. "Are..." He could feel his face head up as he looked down at the other's blue eyes. "Are you serious? 'Cause, fuck if you are..." He pulled lightly at the blonde hair in his hand. "Y-you said tha-I just want t-to makeyoufeelbetter" There were tears threatening to spill as the anxious boy rambled quietly. Connor bit his lip and took a quick drag before twisting his cigarette out on the stall wall. "Fuck, yeah that'd definitely make me feel better." He responded breathlessly. Anger from before still burned under his skin but the new pull of arousal helped Connor not focus so much on that. The blonde boy leaned forward and brought a hand up to pull at Connor's jeans. "M-my name is Evan, by the way. I figure y-you should know my name if I'm gonna suc-" Evan cut himself off with a blush and Connor helped his pull the zipper down. "Hansen, right?" Blue eyes looked up startled. "Evan Hansen?" Connor swallowed thickly as the blonde boy nodded awkwardly and gently pulled his cock out. Evan seemed to be nervous as he slowly licked the head of Connor's dick, getting a soft hiss in return making him look up for guidance. "Fuh-you're doing good, keep going." Connor praised softly, trying to keep his breathing steady as the blonde boy gently licked again. He was obviously inexperienced as he brought his tongue up and down the sides, saliva gathering, making Connor's dick slick with a mix of spit and precum. Evan glanced up again meeting Connor's blown out eyes and pulled away for a moment. "Your eyes are different colors, its really pretty." Connor blinked surprised by the random compliment and was about to ask him what the fuck before Evan wrapped his mouth around Connor's dick, taking nearly half of it down while keeping eye contact the whole time. Connor gasped a choked moan and gripped the blonde boy's head tightly watching as he slowly started to bob his head up and down, taking a bit more each time. He swallowed down any noise he might've made and fought the urge to pull and twist at Evan's hair. Evan pulled back suddenly, spit and precum glossing over his mouth. "Y-you can pull my hair if you want." He said softly before placing his hands on Connor's hips and taking his cock all the way down his throat, his blue eyes burning as his nose bumped at Connor's stomach. "Fuck!" Connor hissed and twisted Evan's blonde hair and pulled it violently forward, taking note of how he moaned around his cock, sending soft vibrations down making him curl his feet. Evan slowly pulled back up before going back down all the way again and made a steady rhythm. He apparently did not have a fucking gag reflex or something. Connor arched his back and brought a hand up to his mouth, biting onto it. The rush of pain mixed with Evan's throat made him whine. "Fuh-Evvve-" Blue eyes blinked up at him. Oh fucking godss. There were tears striking down his face, making his eyes shiny and red. "Fuck, fuck! Please more, come on fffuh-" Conner whined out more moans and felt the tenseness start build up in his abdomen. Evan pulled back suddenly. "Fuck my throat." He says sternly, his voice was fucked up from Connor's cock, making him sound raspy like he had been strangled and Connor definitely felt himself twitch at that thought. Evan wrapped his lips around the head of the leaking dick and looked up expectingly. Connor whined another moan out and gripped the sides of the blonde boy's head and violently pulled him down, he nearly came at the sight of more tears slipping out of Evan's pretty blue eyes as he choked. Connor set a quick pace as he pulled Evan's head up and down his cock. He felt his orgasm growing closer with each pull and quiet choke. He bit his lip and hissed out a warming that he was close but it seemed to encourage Evan as he swallowed suddenly, causing his throat spasm around Connor's cock. Connor stabbed his teeth into his bottom lip to keep himself from yelling as he came faster then he thought he could. More tears fell out of Evan's eyes as he pulled away and gagged and coughed, cum and spit mixed with his tears as it fell out of his mouth and onto the floor. Both boys breathed heavily, Connor trying to catch his breath from probably the greatest experience of his gross teenage life and Evan trying not to throw up. "Do you want me to-?" Connor offered but Evan shook his head no. He was about to ask why till he noticed the large wet spot in the other's pants and if he hasn't blown his nervous system out through his dick-and down Evan's throat-he probably would've gotten hard again at the sight. "Well I definitely feel better now..." He mumbled and Evan smiled a little awkward smile. "Sure is a good thing apparently no one needs to go to the bathroom." That made Evan look away shamefully, dispite what he had just done. "W-well I kinda locked the door when I came in here?" Connor starred blankly and breathed in. "Did you plan this?" "No!" "Ya sure? 'Cause it sure seems like you did." Evan blushed and coughed a bit of cum up. Connor laughed and threaded his fingers through his long-ish hair. All feeling of previous anger was gone and replaced with a sense of relaxation and a new feeling that Connor wasn't sure what was yet. End Notes hi I'm gross and I have a crying kink and a weird obsession with the aesthetic of shoving dicks down throats. got a tumblr and a insta if y'all wanna check those out Instagram: @K.K.Savage_Memes Tumble: K-K-Savage-Memes Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!