Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/8232685. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Fandom: Saints_Row Character: Luana, Boss_(Saints_Row), Female_Boss_(Saints_Row) Additional Tags: Luana's_life_story_up_to_meeting_Zari_really, ok, I'm_gonna_be_frank, if you_are_triggered_to_rape_or_rape_elements, please_for_your_own_sake don't_read, the_implications_are_violent_and_horrific, if_this_could possibly_hurt_you, please_don't_read_this, also_this_is_a_warning_for anyone_who_has_faced:, Racial_slurs, Racism, abuse_from_parents, or_has an_issue_with_blood, for_the_love_of_god_don't_read_this_ok?, take_care of_yourselves_and_don't_put_yourself_in_that_position, I'll_go_post_as many_tags_as_possible_but_please_be_careful, Violence, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced_Rape/Non-con, Blood, Graphic_Description_of Murder, Child_Abuse, Child_Neglect, Homelessness, Underage_Prostitution, Depression, Forced_Pregnancy, Overdose, overdose_of_drugs Series: Part 3 of ...And_Then_There_Were_Two Stats: Published: 2016-10-07 Words: 2204 ****** I Won't Stop Running ****** by otaka101 Summary I might have started down in the dumps And where I went after I got out wasn't the best either But I won't stop running Not 'till I get somewhere better Notes See the end of the work for notes I wasn’t just here as a toy I had my own life, my own friends The area around me might be loud and cruel But it’s mine Going back to that place every day A cramped room where I rarely saw the light of day Kept alive by the little sips of water they gave me, the little scraps they thought I deserved They don’t know I have more worth than they’ll ever amount to in their lives Fists pounding the walls, tears down my face DO YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM MORE THAN YOU BELIEVE No parents to call my own Not that I care They’ve abandoned a treasure they never deserved in the first place My friends and I All living in that little hell they call an ‘orphanage’ We call it the home of bribes Where rich people come in and buy us like animals so they feel better About helping the ‘poor children’ It’s amazing they don’t break their arms patting themselves on the back But that’s ok Because we make it so Hanging out at the park With all my smiling friends, I’m so glad to call them mine Skating at the park The wind in my hair The sun on my face No matter how much my stomach hurts I feel free here Untouchable Unchained Unrestrained We hold hands and spin As the rocks and dirt passes us by Squeals as I fall Dimples as I grab onto a friend’s hand Lifting me up more than any adult had ever tried Loud giggles under the bridge as they pass the bottle Older kids with the stash Older kids with the skills to steal a full pack of liquor Older kids who decided to share their hoard I take a sip and see stars Bitter, nasty, and rancid liquid And yet I hold my hand out for another sip To feel the rush The taste of the forbidden fruit is truly better than I thought Amplified by the flight of my fists It slams into a boy’s cheek A girl’s leg rams into my hip I feel the pain and the shock But I end up laughing rather than crying They’ll learn in a minute My knuckles bruising on their teeth Cheering and hooting and hollering from the other kids The ones who didn’t want to risk bodily injury Or worse A blow to their pride Of course we won Of course we beat them So it was just a matter of time we were found out too I raise my hand And take the blame Because I have fun with the others So they shouldn’t have to bear the brunt of the blame Back in the room Nails dragging down on the walls Feet kicked at the door YOU CAN’T KEEP ME HERE YOU CAN’T KEEP ME HERE YOU CAN’T KEEP ME HERE I want to throw my meager bits of food and water at the door But that’s all I’m getting I savor every dirty bite Sips from an unclean cup and hard bread This is all they’re going to give me This is all I get For now anyway I eat it all quickly So the taste doesn’t stay in my mouth I relish the burning sensation on my eyes when I finally get to see daylight again One day One day One day Things change They’re here for me Clean and pretty white smiles that match their skin Here to take me away To take me to a better place This is it This is it This is my ticket out of here They don’t mind my mouth They don’t mind my attitude and I Begin to wonder Did God really answer my prayers? Or is this some sick joke on his part? As they lead me out of the house before I even get a chance to settle in I realize This must be a joke It’s one of these parents They grin so wide Their cheeks must hurt Talk so loud It must strain their voices Since they must be used to their words being treated as divine order I quickly realize they weren’t here to save me from hell Just show me a whole new one Dressed up a taken all over the neighborhood Like a cute little doll See here? See that girl we have? She’s blessed that we saved her She’s lucky we came along I only feel sick that they did Soon it isn’t just the neighborhood I’m dressed up And they send me to school It’s nothing short of ridiculous Hair in a ponytail Uniform pressed in all the corners They expect me to be their good little girl In a school that calls me outside my name In a school that looks down on me And hurls slurs at me everyday The people at school learned and they learned fast I am not one to fuck with I will make you regret that last laugh A few burned students here A couple of bombs there Laxative thrown into the cookies I made for the truly deserving I was already on thin ice I guess the smoking, fighting, and drinking was the last straw EXPELLED EXPELLED EXPELLED I’ve never seen a pair of people turn uglier than my adoptive parents They tried to treat me as their little Cinderella But they obviously forgot why I was expelled in the first place It got worse though When I didn’t just submit The slurs at school were just a warm-up for what they said Vile and foul words spilled from their lips They’d go to church with me and their child in tow Yelling at me in one breath And saying a hail mary in the next The husband was the worst His hand trailing from my shoulder Down my back Right in front of their child I push him away My hands making a satisfying sound against his cheek Never around his wife Never around his wife As much as I hated her She was the only thing keeping his hands off me Then one day His wife wasn’t around That was the day he threw me to the ground Ripped off my clothes I wasn’t strong enough to fend him off I wasn’t strong enough to fend him off I wasn’t— “That’s right you dirty Latina (Make it stop Make it stop Somebody Please) You should be grateful That I’m even looking in your direction” (Choke and die You nasty--) “Shut up I’m trying to finish” (Think of something else Think of something else Thinkofsomethinigelsethinkofsomethingelsethinkofsomethingel--!) He shoves my head to the side and gets off And that’s it He pulls away And tears stream down my face It isn’t the last time he does this I’m not strong enough to push him away Eventually it ended Dear God It finally came to an end Thrown out of the house with only torn clothes “Don’t you come back, either, whore.” Gladly I make sure to rob all of the houses down the street and in the neighborhood too And I only wish I could’ve taken everything they had too But I can’t— (I can’t go back there Never again Just the thought makes me wanna hurl Oh God no Never ever again) So I keep going forward Then I saw this nice little city A pile of festering trash disguised as a functioning town Stilwater: Voted the nicest place to visit since 1976 What a load of shit Here was a place that I found myself Sleeping in the alleyways, dumpster diving for food It wasn’t too bad, really Here you could hear the gunshots going off on any corner of the street People were run over daily, no matter what clothes they wore or who was behind the wheel The snooty assholes who turned their nose up at me I never bothered going after I usually saw their dead bodies minutes later Or they were running away from someone wielding a knife and a grudge Nobody got off easy here Whether you wore a sharp business suit Or a pair of thigh high boots and just the bare essentials not to be arrested Anyone could die here I don’t know why they ever bother to try and keep the city clean Might as well let it stay red for how often blood gets spilled One day When I was starving, yet again In need of clothes because winter was setting in The chill of autumn cutting at my skin A man with a crooked smile offered me food I didn’t trust the way he was eyeing me I didn’t like the way he’d lick his lip as he stared at my legs But he promised me good food and clothes So I went with him anyway And boy Did he deliver Food abounds! Whatever I wanted, he gave me Nothing too lavish or expensive And he gave me new clothes too Even though I didn’t like the way he tried to push me towards scantier clothing It was a good few days for me off the streets I should’ve paid more attention To what he slipped in my drink I woke up Bleary and confused A hand on my mouth to keep me from screaming Shirt torn, shallow wounds on my legs (Not again Not again Not again NOT AGAIN) He kept me awake for all of it Then when he was done Knocked me over the head And dumped me in the trash (Maybe that’s all I was Trash) All I could really do was what I always had (Pick myself out of the trash) Get up And keep going (Was it really worth it though?) Then I realized If I was going to stay alive I needed cash (Don’t think about it Luana I don’t wanna think about it anymore Fingers on my breasts Legs open No one’s going to help me No one No one cares Maybe my parents had it right the first time) And if so many people seemed interested in my body (This time This time This time It’s gonna be on my terms) I might as well use it to the fullest extent as possible (If they want ass they better have cash Because now I have my own way of doing things And they’ll end up dead if they pull some funny shit) And things started going well I finally had money Although it wasn’t the cleanest I could actually start taking care of myself But then…. But then… But then… (NO) A small bulge A round curve of my stomach (NONONONONO) Just another reminder I didn’t have as much control as I thought I find the pills I have the needle I am not having this baby I refuse If I have to go down with it Then so be it (Are…things...supposed to be…this hazy…? I can’t feel my--) I wake up to that annoying beeping (Someone turn that shit off I’ve been hearing it for hours I swear to God I’m going to raise hell if I hear it one more time) The hospital I’m in the fucking hospital I didn’t even know Stilwater had one Go figure (At least the little parasite is gone…) Soon I’m on my feet again And the first thing I do? (My bat smashing down on his skull A wet squelch The right side of his head starting to dent as he uses the last of his life begging me to stop) Please show me mercy Someone, help) I kill the fucker that got me in this mess in the first place (He’s long since dead now I can see little chunks of brain on the wall Hands bloody, fingers missing patches of skin The chest caved inwards as though he was trying to hold his breath) Only Little pieces of lung were showing And his legs were bent unnaturally to the side) I make sure to beat the fucker from sunset to sunrise (I walk out of the alleyway covered in blood Into the light of day No one even gives me a second glance) I don’t bother to stick around the lady who called the hospital Last time I ever trust a random stranger again And that was when my career in prostitution began Things were relatively simple to be honest People wanna get off and the other women and men who worked in the business Were very free with their tips and tricks On how to get that money on the side A few clients later I found out about street racing As I was the candy on one of my client’s arm It was amazing The sheer speed The beautiful colors The tight turns This was what I wanted to do Drive off as fast as I could Wearing sunglasses and a handful of money One stolen car later I got to live out my wish As I walked into the bar With a fake ID and new clothes I decide It certainly wouldn’t hurt to buy a drink For the person tied up In handmade bandages End Notes Thank you so much for helping me with this, Liz!! I had a lot of fun writing up Lu's story! I hope everyone else enjoyed this as much as we enjoyed making it! Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!