Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1721591.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Dean_Winchester
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Castiel_(Supernatural), Charlie_Bradbury, Sam
      Winchester, John_Winchester, Bobby_Singer, Jo_Harvelle, Ellen_Harvelle,
      Gabriel_(Supernatural), Lucifer_(Supernatural), Michael_(Supernatural),
      Anna_Milton, Kevin_Tran, Garth_Fitzgerald_IV, Belthazor, Benny_Lafitte,
      Meg_Masters, Pie_-_Character, Pamela_Barnes, Bela_Talbot, Lisa_Braeden,
      Becky_Rosen, Impala_-_Character, Ash_(Supernatural), Ed_Zeddmore, Harry
      Spangler
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Destiel_-_Freeform, Angst, Suicidal
      Thoughts, Suicide_Attempt, Self_Harm, Alternate_Universe_-_Human, Human
      Castiel, Teen_Castiel, Teen_Dean_Winchester, Child_Sam_Winchester,
      Alternate_Universe_-_No_Monsters, Abusive_John_Winchester, Bad_Parenting,
      John_Winchester's_Bad_Parenting, Angry_John, lisa_isnt_a_bitch, not_like
      twist_and_shout, Bottom_Dean, Top_Castiel, Top_Dean, Bottom_Castiel,
      Depression, self_hatred, Underage_Drinking, Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism,
      Worry, Funny, Experienced_Castiel, Teenage_Parents, everyone_is_human,
      Nosy_Charlie, slight_megstiel, Sassy, Sarcasm, Jealousy, Happy_Ending,
      Charlie_Bradbury_&_Dean_Winchester_Friendship, Castiel_&_Charlie_Bradbury
      Friendship, devious_charlie, i_love_it_when_a_plan_comes_together,
      intervening_friends, Blow_Jobs, Sex_Dreams, Car_Sex, Hand_Jobs, Food_Sex,
      Public_Sex, sex_at_school, Homophobic_Language, Homophobic_John, Skipping
      Class, Casual_Sex
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-06-01 Chapters: 22/22 Words: 50833
****** I Will Try To Fix You ******
by pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel
Summary
     High School AU. John Winchester is delusional, he's dragged his son's
     into his life and Dean wants out. Especially when they move to a new
     town; he meets Castiel Novak and realises that his life could be
     normal. But is it that simple? Contains Destiel.
Notes
     This is sort of underage but only because I forgot about the legal
     sex age in America being older, sorry about that. There are no
     problems coming from them being underage.
     This fic, including the Prologue and Epilogue, is 22 chapters long
     and around 50000 words. It's named after the Coldplay song, Fix You,
     because it helped me find the words while writing. It's not based on
     the song, because I'd had the idea before I realised how well they
     fit together, but I did reference it multiple times throughout.
     Please comment to tell me what you think, I happily except
     constructive criticism because I want to become a better writer.
     I may have gone a little overboard with the tags...
***** Prologue *****
Dean listened to the sound of the Impala's engine as his Dad drove away. He
sighed in relief and looked over at his brother who was currently passed out of
the sofa. Sammy had just turned twelve a couple of days ago and Dean should be
happy. Soon he would be teaching him about girls and dates and all that other
normal crap that teenagers learn. But Dean wasn't happy. His Father had mention
something to him just before leaving, he had said that now Sammy was getting
older, that all three of them would be able to start hunting together. He'd
said it with a smile and such pride and Dean had thrown a smile back to his
Dad, even though it was the last thing that he wanted. Luckily Sam had been
asleep, because if his Dad was already considering it then it wouldn't take
more than a puppy dog look to convince him to let them go on this new hunt. And
Sam desperately wanted to help save the world like his Dad. Because Sam still
believed the lie.
Dean knew the truth though, he had for a couple of years now. Their Dad wasn't
fighting monsters or demons or ghosts... he was delusional.
He had first started having doubts about what was really happening when he came
face to face with what John Winchester had called a 'Shtriga'. But when Dean
saw it, he realised it was nothing more than a man. He was evil, he was
stealing children... but he wasn't a witch. He tried to talk to his Dad about
it but John had looked at him strangely and said that maybe he was too young
and his mind was refusing to see things as they really happened... trying to
protect itself. His Father had then continued to give a full description of
what it really looked like so that he was "prepared". Dean had listened and
ignored his doubts because he trusted John, so he didn't bring it up again.
It wasn't until a couple of days later that his Dad had pointed at the news and
said that they were blaming some innocent guy for what the Shtriga had done.
Dean looked up at the television in their motel and saw a picture of a man, the
same man that he'd seen trying to kidnap his brother. He stayed quiet and bided
his time until he was at a computer before looking up the case. He found that
one of the children had died, so the doctors preformed an autopsy and were able
to find out the exact poison the man had used in time to save the other
children, who then pointed out their kidnapper and attempted murderer. That had
been when Dean found out the truth, he had only been nine years-old. For the
past seven years he tried to run away but was never able to. He'd let Sam
believe the lie for as long as possible because the only other option was to
tell him the truth. And somehow, the truth was much worse.
Dean stared at his brother and wished, not for the first time, that they had a
normal life. Because he knew that he couldn't let either of them go on a hunt,
it would just be a step too far. And one day soon he would have to find a way
to stop it.
 
 
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
The next day was a Monday and so Dean got up early and walked Sam to the middle
school that he was enrolled in before walking back on himself towards the High
School. It was only a ten minute walk but his mind was yelling at him to turn
around take Sam and run away, so it seemed to take much longer. He stood across
the road and watched as students walked into the building, chattering to each
other and laughing. Which disturbed Dean, it wasn't even half eight in the
morning... people should not look that happy this early, especially at school.
He was about to cross over when he heard a car speed around the corner and saw
a small blue Ford Fusion race into the student car park, he rolled his eyes and
saw a short boy, maybe a year or two older than himself, with brown hair spring
from the drivers door. He laughed and ran away, towards the school at the same
time that another boy jumped out of the passenger door. The boy had messy black
hair and was wearing a tan trench coat, but that's all Dean could see because
in the next instant he was running after the shorter man.
"Gabriel!" he heard the one in the trench coat yell "I'm going to kill you! You
could have hit someone!" with that he was gone, Dean laughed and walked towards
the building.
                                   [] [] []
He got his timetable from the reception desk and looked over it. 8:45 Latin. 9:
45 Biology. 10:45 Break. 11:00 Computing. 12:00 Lunch Break. 1:00 English. 2:00
Gym. 3:00 Algebra II. He nodded to himself, other than the Biology and Math, it
looked like a good timetable. The bell rang and he went to find his Latin
class.
By the time he found the room, he was already a couple minutes late. The
teacher ushered him in and told him to find a seat. There were only 9 other
people in the class, which made Dean sigh, it was always awkward and quiet in
classes where there weren't many people. He pulled out a chair at the nearest
table and sat down, there were already two boys and a girl sitting there, he
gave a small smile but stayed quiet as the teacher started talking. After about
twenty minutes the teacher gave out text books and gave them all questions to
do. Dean flipped to the page, took out his note pad and answered the questions
in a matter of minutes. Latin was a guaranteed easy A for him, his Dad had been
teaching it him since he was a child. He daydreamed for the next couple of
minutes until the girl opposite him lifted her head and looked at him, she
smiled.
"Hey, I'm Jo" the blonde whispered
"Hey. I'm Dean" he put a bit of his charm into the smile he gave her and saw
her grin widen.
"These two are Kevin and Garth, they're racing to see who can finish first at
the moment" she laughed and pointed at the two boys on their table. "But once
they've finished you'll find out they actually are sociable" Dean laughed in
response. She looked down at his note pad and her brow creased "have you
already finished?" she asked quietly.
"Erm, yeah" he nodded and cast his eyes to his paper. At that the teacher
lifted his head from his book and looked at them.
"You've finished? Give it here and I'll mark it" Dean made his way over to the
teachers desk with everybody looking at him then returned to sit back down in
his seat. A couple minutes later a boy with shaggy black hair got up and placed
his answers on the desk in front of the teacher as well. Everyone else was
still working. Dean looked at the boy, he was wearing a grey button down shirt
over a pair of dark blue jeans and smart shoes. The top few buttons on his
shirt weren't done up which gave it a more casual look, but he still stood out
from everyone else in the room including Dean who was wearing a faded Metallica
shirt with scruffy old jeans, biker boots and a leather jacket. The boy's blue
eyes held Dean's for a moment and they smiled at each other politely, before he
sat back down behind Jo and out of Dean's sight.
The lesson carried on in much the same way, people didn't really speak much
until the work was done and then the atmosphere became more friendly. He
decided that he liked the people on his table. The girls on the table behind
him seemed quite shy and didn't really talk too much when he introduced
himself, their names were Emily and Sarah. The other four students in the class
sat in the table in front of him. There were three boys, including the one with
black hair and blue eyes, and one girl. The girl had long blond hair and was
being quiet and sulky whenever the boy sitting next to her, with short brown
hair and an English accent, talked. He couldn't see the black haired boy
because Jo was in the way but he heard his voice. It was deep, way too deep for
anyone their age, and sounded like he'd been eating gravel for breakfast or the
last year or so. Yet, it didn't sound wrong. Somehow it suited him perfectly.
The other boy who was sitting next to 'blue eyes' was blonde and also had a
British accent and laughed constantly, with a huge grin. The bell rang,
signalling next period and everyone got up to leave. He watched as 'blue eyes'
left the room, holding a tan trench coat.
Garth, it turned out was in his biology, so they walked there together. The guy
was a bit weird in Dean's opinion, but who was he to judge. When they got to
the room it was practically full. The teacher pointed him to a seat as Garth
walked over to sit by a girl with cropped black hair on the other side of the
room. He was sitting alone on his lab table and saw the dark haired British guy
from Latin class walk into the room, he wasn't sure why he'd put so much effort
into memorising everyone's faces in his first class, he'd only be leaving in a
few weeks. Maybe he just wanted to act normal for a change. However there was
way too many people in this class to remember. A beefy boy with a shaved head
sat down next to him. They nodded at each other and the boy stretched out his
hand.
"Benny" he said simply. Dean shook his hand and replied.
"Dean" they nodded at each other and smiled. "Do you play football?" he asked,
noting the other boys muscles
"Yeah, and wrestling. You?"
"Never been in a club before... I move around too much, but I've always wanted
to do a bit of wrestling" Benny nodded, then the teacher started talking. There
was a lot more noise in this lesson and Dean found that Benny and the other two
guys sitting on the table in front of him, who also played football, were
alright people. They invited him to spend time with them at break and so he
wasn't by himself. He walked into his third period fifteen minutes later. There
were computers lining three walls of the room and a long desk coming out from
one wall creating an 'E', he was sat at a computer at the top of the 'E'
between a red headed girl wearing a pokémon shirt and glasses and two boys who
were talking to each other in hushed tones. Dean turned to the girl.
"Hey, I'm Dean"
"Hey" she waved weakly at him and smiled "I'm Charlie"
"Nice to meet you" she smiled again.
"You're starting a bit late in the year aren't you" Dean paused.
"Yeah, my Dad's job moves us around a lot" he started to think about his Dad
and how much easier it would be if he could just have a normal life. "I'm not
sure how long we're staying" she stared at him and seemed to be stopping
herself from saying anything then sighed and gave in.
"I don't know anything about you or your life and I'm probably being a bit
pushy... but running away is never the answer" she said quietly, he stared at
her in shock "I know that look... I used to have it all the time. But trust me,
running away won't help. It's not fun, you stay in crappy motels and eat cheap
dinner food. There is always a better way... you just have to look for it" she
went back to her work, leaving Dean to think it over.
"Thanks" he said to her, because he realised that he was already living like
that, his life would be exactly the same except for one major detail, his Dad
wouldn't be there. He could stay in one place and have a normal life.
"So I wasn't too pushy?" she asked.
"Sometimes you need a little 'pushy'" he replied, causing her to smile. He
stayed with Charlie at lunch and they walked into the cafeteria together. They
got into line for food and the sounds of two people arguing to their left made
them look. It was two people from his Latin class, the brunette girl and the
British guy that she'd been ignoring. They argued for a while until the guy got
up and left, leaving her sitting alone at the table.
"Unrequited love" Dean joked "so sad..." Charlie laughed and then smacked his
arm.
"Shush you. She's dating my best friend"
"Poor guy" Charlie giggled some more.
"Yeah, Meg is a bit of a bitch. But she's not all bad if you get to know her...
or so I've heard" she stopped and thought for a minute. "But she does have
reason to be a bit bitchy to Crowley"
"What happened"
"See that bandage on her arm?" he looked over and noticed it on Meg's right
shoulder, "well, that happened a couple of weeks ago in Biology. They were
dissecting something and Crowley was showing off to Meg. She told him to stop,
but he didn't, he fell into her and she landed on a scalpel." Charlie winced
"she had to get rushed to the hospital. They used to be friends before that,
but now she won't talk to him. Swapped her Bio and everything." The queue for
food starting moving and Dean got close enough to see the pie at the counter.
He smiled, as they chatted friendly together. After getting their food they
walked over to where Meg was sitting, two other girls had already joined her.
"Girls, this is Dean. Dean this is Meg, Pamela and Bela" she said as
introduction and then sat down, Pamela gave him a very suggestive smile and he
smiled back, not quite as obviously. "Where's everyone else?" Charlie asked.
Meg looked at her then.
"Why? We not good enough?" she laughed, though Dean noted it was a little bit
too venomous to be taken nicely. "Castiel's with Gabe, he'll be here soon, I
assume Balthazar's there too. Zeke's at football practice." Charlie nodded and
started eating, then the four girls asked him questions about himself for a
couple of minutes until Meg suddenly jumped up from her seat and practically
ran into the arms of the boy that he had silently nicknamed 'blue eyes'. They
kissed for a moment and the boy's blond friend groaned and threw himself into
the seat on the other side of Charlie, who laughed at him. A second later Meg
and her boyfriend sat down, he was looking embarrassed and Dean figured that he
wasn't quite as comfortable making out in public as Meg was. The boy caught
sight of Dean then and blushed slightly.
"Hey" blue eyes said "you were in our Latin class" Dean nodded.
"Dean"
"Castiel" the boy said in return.
"Balthazar" the blond boy said with a British accent "you know, if anyone
cares" Charlie laughed and mused his hair.
"Oh stop pouting" she said in a fake-mean voice.
                                   [] [] []
The day continued in much the same way. He walked with Charlie and Bela to
English where he was sat in the seat next to a pretty brunette named Lisa who
gave him her phone number. He also saw Kevin from across the room talking to
Charlie and a slightly crazed girl that she introduced to him after the class
named Becky. In gym class he spent time with some guys called Gordon, Creedy
and Kubrick until he talked to Benny and they started telling him shit about
the guy. So instead he teamed up with Benny and some guy name Zeke. They were
running laps and, even though he wasn't as fast as either of the two, he kept a
good pace and they slowed slightly to stay by his side. But at the end of the
lesson they sprinted until they couldn't anymore. They didn't have time for a
shower before it was time for Math and so him and Benny walked into lesson
sweating and laughing. Charlie was sitting next to Castiel and waved at him
from the back of the class to call him over. He slapped Benny on the shoulder
and took the spare seat next to Charlie. Turns out that they had swapped seats
with people so that he could sit next to them.
Jo was sitting two rows in front of him and they smiled at each other as he
walked past but they didn't talk. He also noticed Pamela flirting with a guy
but ignored it.
"You know there is such a thing as a shower" Charlie laughed when he sat down.
"Yeah, but where's the fun in that" he reached to give her a hug and she pulled
back with a squeal and a laugh, he pretended to act hurt. Dean pulled back,
before jumping forward again and successfully pulling her into a hug.
"Eww!" she squealed and Castiel laughed, Dean noticed and wink at him.
"Don't know what you're laughing at... you're next" he didn't notice the look
of lust that passed across Castiel's face after he said that because Charlie
was pushing him off of her. She scowled at him for a few seconds before they
both burst out laughing. She then turned towards Castiel and saw him staring at
Dean. Her best friend was good at hiding his emotions, and so most people would
just see him being nice. But she could tell from the look in his eyes that his
thoughts at that moment weren't exactly family friendly. He glanced down at her
and the look turned guilty as he knew he'd been found out. The rest of the
lesson passed quickly for all of them, Dean sucked at Math and so Charlie
helped him out with some of the questions and the three of them just chatted
like they were old friends.
The bell rang signalling the end of the day and Dean hurriedly put his things
away, in a rush to leave, his two friends noticed.
"You catching a bus?" Charlie asked, Dean shook his head.
"No, I've got to meet my brother outside of his school and walk him home"
"The middle school?" Dean nodded "Want a lift? I don't drive but Cassie always
drops me off at my house and the school's on the way"
"I don't want to be a bother"
"It's no bother" Castiel responded and then paused "as long as you never call
me Cassie" he said with narrowed eyes at Charlie, but there was a small smile
on his face. They walked towards the student car park and got inside the little
blue Ford Fusion that Dean had seen earlier that day.
"Where's Gabriel?" Charlie asked.
"After what happened this morning I told him that he was never aloud in my car
again, not even as a passenger" Castiel shook his head angrily. A couple of
minutes later the car was pulling up outside the school and Dean got out. Sam,
who had been standing by the front gate started walking towards his brother.
"See ya tomorrow!" Charlie shouted with a grin on her face which matched Dean's
and Castiel covered his ears with his hands.
"Ow" he said, he teased "I think you've burst my ear drums, woman" at that
Charlie slapped his arm and they laughed, he waved goodbye to his friends as
they drove off. Sam was now standing by his side and Dean mused his brother's
hair fondly.
"You seem happy" Sammy laughed as he moved his head away and out of reach, Dean
shrugged.
"I like this place"
 
 
***** Chapter 3 *****
Castiel hoped that Charlie would forget the fact that she caught him checking
out Dean, but he never had that much luck. The second after he dropped Dean off
at his brother's school, she was talking.
"You should ask him out" she squealed with a big grin on her face. He just
shook his head, "oh come on! You would be perfect for each other" he glanced
over at her and sighed before returning to look at the road.
"There are two things wrong with that plan. Number one; I'm with Meg and
number-"
"But you don't actually like Meg!" she interrupted
"Of course I do. Do you really think I'd be dating her if I didn't" he asked
incredulously.
"Cassie... you had one drunken kiss at that Halloween party seven months ago
and she's been following you around like a lost puppy ever since. You only
asked her out to make her feel better after that whole thing with the scalpel.
You never really wanted to date her, if you did then you would have asked her
out a long time ago. You just wanted her to be happy again... and don't get me
wrong, it's so sweet and very 'knight in shining armour' of you. But I know
that she doesn't make you happy, so maybe you should find someone who does..."
"And you think that Dean is that someone?"
"Potentially"
"Well then I guess this brings me back to my second point; he's not gay"
"Maybe not... but he is definitely bi"
"Or he's just straight"
"When has my 'gay-dar' ever been wrong? I knew you were bi the second I met
you, I knew before even youdid"
"Stop bragging" he laughed, they fell into a comfortable silence for the rest
of the ride home.
                                   [] [] []
"So, how was you're first day at school, Sammy?"
"Fine"
"Just fine? Usually I can't get you to shut up talking about your lessons and
the friends you've made and the writing assignments..." Dean's voice faded off
"Yeah, well. It's not like we'll be staying for more than a few weeks. We'll be
here 'till the end of the year if we're lucky" Dean, who was currently washing
their dishes as Sam dried, turned to look at his younger brother.
"That's never stopped you before"
"I guess I'm taking your approach"
"Don't" that one word made Sam frown, why wouldn't he act like his older
brother.
"Why not?"
"Because..." Dean was suddenly stuck as to what to tell his younger brother.
The thought of running away had been at the back of Dean's mind all day, and
whenever he thought about it properly he realised that this is where he wanted
to run away to. Dean would wait for their Dad to come back, he'd convince him
to keep Sammy from hunting for a few more months, wait just long enough for him
to forget about this town and then come back, hopefully in time for the next
year of school. But, he could only do that if Sam liked it here too. But he
couldn't tell his brother that, not yet. "Because I was wrong. It doesn't
matter how long we stay, it feels a whole lot better to act happy and make
friends then to act miserable..."
Sam went to bed early that night, still worn out from the long drive here and
so Dean took out his phone and text Lisa.
                                   [] [] []
The next morning Dean was met at the school gates by Charlie and Castiel. She
linked arms with him as they stood and talked.
"Hey you" he said with a nudge which she returned. He turned his gaze from
Charlie to Castiel. They were standing quite close to each other and he noticed
for the first time that his hair wasn't black, but a very dark brown. He was
wearing similar clothes as the day before but had on a deep blue shirt that
matched his eyes, which at that moment were stunning. The sun was shining
slightly through the clouds and was catching them in ways that made them stand
out in stark contrast against his dark hair and pale skin. They looked filled
with power and lust which made his knees weak as they seemed to stare into his
soul.
"Hey Cas" he said and the boy smiled at the new nickname, looking so amazing at
that moment that Dean had to force himself to swallow and look away back
towards the girl hanging on his arm.
"Hello Dean" he said in return. Charlie linked arms with Cas too and walked
them both in the school.
"So," Charlie started "you know that it's really hard for us to meet up with
you if we can't text you" Dean smiled, pulled his phone out his pocket and got
their numbers before texting them. The bell rang and Charlie left them as they
walked together to Latin. They went to their opposite seats and Cas took out
his phone. He had three texts. He clicked the first one.
From: Unknown
Received: 8:39am
This is my number.
He saved the contact under Dean's name. And clicked on the next conversation,
the last two texts were from Charlie.
From: Charlie
Received: 8:45am
Oh my God! Did you see that look he gave you! The plan worked :D xxxxxxxx
he blushed slightly and looked at the text beneath it.
From: Charlie
Received: 8:47am
Ok. I've calmed down a bit now. But honestly that was brilliant. There is no
way you can say he doesn't have the hots for you after that. You HAVE TO go for
it xx
Cas swallowed, pushing away his fears and replied.
To: Charlie
Sent: 8:48am
I told you when I agreed to this, finding out that he liked me wouldn't change
the fact that I'm with Meg. And, anyway, that didn't prove that he liked me.
Everyone is shocked by how my eyes look when they're in the sun xxx
The teacher stood up from his desk at that moment and started to teach so he
pushed the mobile back into his coat's pocket. A minute later it vibrated to
alert him to a text, but he didn't look at it until the end of the lesson.
From: Charlie
Received: 8:49am
Oh sweetie. That wasn't shock on his face. That was lust xx
                                   [] [] []
Dean couldn't concentrate for the first two periods, at one point in biology he
started doodling in the margin of his notes and looked down to see he'd drawn
an eye. He scribbled it out quickly, trying to get his mind off of that soul-
deep gaze. A couple of minutes later he got a text, he brought his phone up
onto the desk and hid it from the teacher behind a plug that was reserves for
bunsen burners and other sciencey stuff.
From: Charlie
Received: 10:02am
Hey. Quick question, you don't happen to have any chapstick do you? Or know
anyone who does? It's just that Castiel needs to borrow some xxx
That text had successfully taken his mind off Castiel's eyes. Now he was
daydreaming about his lips, dry and cracked and pressed against his own... Dean
closed his eyes and tried to push away the image as his lower member started to
tingle. At the same time Charlie was sitting in Physics and giggling manically
to herself while Castiel shook his head with disappointment.
                                   [] [] []
Dean had stopped thinking about Cas when he ran into Lisa outside his Biology
lesson and didn't think about him again until him and Charlie met up with the
rest of the group at Lunch. There was no football practice today and so Zeke
was also at their table. And because Dean and Zeke were there, Benny and two of
his friends sat there for a while as well... It was a good thing the tables
were big, because even though a few had to pull up extra chairs, everyone still
fit on. And when it got a bit tight for room, Meg jumped onto Castiel's lap
without a word. Charlie couldn't help but noticed how uncomfortable Cas felt in
that situation and that Meg either didn't notice or didn't care.
She also noticed that Dean became quiet the moment that it happened.
When the bell rang to signal the end of Lunch it woke Dean from his day dreams
and he looked up from his food to see Meg wrapping her arms around Castiel as
she kissed him goodbye. Her hand ran through his already sexed hair and she
leaned closer, making the scene entirely too intimate to happen in public. Cas
started to push at her hips and slowly forced her off of him. She smiled and
winked at him before whispering something in his ear that turned his already
blushing skin beet red.
Dean didn't want to think about why the kiss had made him jealous and so he did
what he always does and pushed it from his mind. He wandered to English with
Charlie, sat down next to Lisa and turned on the charm, by the end of the
lesson she agreed to go on a date with him. He smiled widely, finally feeling
like himself again.
                                   [] [] []
Castiel walked into his Math class a bit later than normal, after Meg had
cornered him after English. He started to realise that all this making out that
she was pushing on him was her way of telling him that she wanted their
relationship to be more intimate. He liked Meg, he really did, but sometimes he
thought that maybe Charlie was right. Meg didn't make him happy. He wished that
she did, but she just didn't understand him. He didn't like intimate kisses in
public, he didn't like seeing them and he didn't like being involved in them.
The way he saw it is that they should be reserved for more private places. He
wasn't someone who necessarily hated public displays of affection, he just
found it uncomfortable having a tongue shoved down your throat when you're
surrounded by your friends.
And the longer that Cas held out from having sex with Meg, the deeper and more
frequent the public kisses got. And he knew that he had to talk with her about
it. He came to that decision as he walked into his final period. Pretty much
everyone was already in the room, including Dean. Him and Charlie were standing
at the desk of a girl he vaguely remembers being called Jo and they were
laughing loudly with big grins on their faces. Castiel was once again struck
with awe at the sight of Dean's face when he was happy. His features became
softer and welcoming as, for just a few moments, he forgot all his worries. His
eyes crinkled with laughter and he threw his head back in a way that exposed
just enough skin on his neck. Castiel imagined standing behind him, arms
wrapped greedily around his waist and placing delicate, longing kisses to that
beautiful skin. He imagined the pleasurable noises that would escape from
Dean...
He realised that he was staring at him and pushed his fantasy down, this was no
time for it. The teacher walked in the door and every one immediately sat down
in their seats. As Dean walked away from Jo, Cas noticed her eyes wander after
him and his chest tightened and stomach knotted in jealousy.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Dean's Dad had always told him to just fit in, to not stand out and make
himself easy enough to forget. That lesson had stuck with him, he always made
sure not to make many friends, or to do something too outgoing, but now he was
dating the Cheerleading Captain and that wasn't exactly a way to just 'fit in'.
He was breaking his Dad's rules, not caring anymore. But, maybe they weren't as
easy to break as he thought they'd be, because yes he was dating Lisa, but he
never even thought to tell his friends about it. Their first date was on
Thursday and by Friday morning it seemed like everyone at school knew about it.
Charlie met him by the front gates like always, except Cas wasn't there. She
slapped him on the arm as he got close to her.
"Ow" he said mockingly and rubbed at his arm in fake-pain "what was that for?"
"For not telling us you were dating Lisa Braeden" Charlie was smiling but Dean
could tell that she was actually a little bit offended.
"Sorry, I didn't think you'd want to know" he said in all honesty.
"Of course we want to know... She's hot" Charlie said with a waggle of her eye
brows which made Dean laugh and sling his arm over her shoulder as they walked
into the school.
"Not as hot as you" she grinned in return, but there was still something wrong
with her. "What's the matter?" Charlie looked up at him and shrugged, not sure
what to say.
"It's nothing... it's just that Cas broke up with Meg last night and she pulled
him somewhere to talk this morning. He's not really that good with conflict...
I'm just worried that he'll give in and they'll start dating again"
"Why'd they break up?"
"He wasn't really comfortable with the whole 'making out' in public all the
time thing" she replied, and it was true. But more then anything else, he'd
decided that he wanted to be with Dean. The bell rang and sent them to their
first period. Charlie sauntered over to gym class, she sat on the grass and
pulled out her Physics book as everyone else got changed. The whole school was
doing track at the moment and if there was one thing that she hated most, it
was pointlessly running around a field for the best part of an hour. So she'd
gotten her guardian to write her a note saying that she had a dodgy knee and
wouldn't be able to participate in this terms activities.
She sat back and pretended to work while her mind was occupied thinking of ways
to get Cas and Dean together. Her first stage had worked perfectly, it was
obvious in the looks that the two shared that they wanted to rip each other's
clothes off. What Charlie hadn't counted on though, was Dean not yet knowing
that he was Bi, it just made everything so much more complicated. Sometimes,
just after he'd been staring at Cas longingly, she would see Dean shut down in
a miniature freak-out. Charlie thought back to the time she'd realised she was
gay but decided that her situation was too different to Dean's to help him. She
had never liked guys, it had always been girls, so there wasn't anywhere near
as much confusion as Dean was experiencing.
So instead she took out her notepad and started to write down all she could
remember about what Cas had said helped him when he realised he was Bi. She
walked into Physics with a plan fully formed about what she was going to do.
Commencing stage two. Let the games begin.
                                   [] [] []
From:Charlie
Received:9:56am
Hey. I'm in Physics with Cas and he's a bit down. I was think of setting him up
with someone. Can you help? I'd be eternally grateful ;D xxxxx
Dean huffed a laugh when he read the text and replied instantly.
To:Charlie
Sent:9:56am
You think he's ready for that? They only just broke up x
From:Charlie
Received:9:59am
Is that a yes? And he was fine before she pulled him off for a talk this
morning :( I think he's feeling down becuz she said something. He just wont
tell me what! Anyway, whats the worst that could happen? He doesn't like who we
choose and we feel like we've wasted an hour? xxx
To:Charlie
Sent:10:00am
Fine I'm in. How do we choose? xx
From:Charlie
Received:10:01am
I was thinking I could email you pictures of the relationships he was happy in
and it would help us make a decision? xxxx
To:Charlie
Sent:10:02am
Sure, my email is dean.w246 .uk x
A couple on minutes later Dean checked his inbox and found an email from
Charlie. He immediately text her.
To:Charlie
Sent:10:06am
Your email is queenoftherings96 .uk? Seriously? xxxxx
From:Charlie
Received:10:07am
Shut up before you incur the wrath of the great deity that is Tolkien! xxxx
Dean laughed to himself, quickly changed Charlie's contact name and opened up
the email she sent him. She'd attached two pictures. He clicked on the first
one and saw Castiel smiling fondly down at a pretty blonde girl who had her
arms wrapped around his waist. He'd seen her around school but never actually
met her. They were both dressed up as if on their way to Homecoming. Cas looked
slightly younger but only a year or so. He felt a pang of jealousy as he saw
the picture and realised that this was probably a bad idea. Dean sighed and
clicked on the next picture. He almost chocked on his own saliva when he saw
it.
This picture was a couple of years old and looked like they didn't know they
were getting their photo taken. Cas looked like he was incredibly happy and was
staring down into the eyes of a boy with floppy brown hair as they held hands
and smiled at each other. Benny glanced over at him.
"You alright?" Dean smiled back shakily and quickly locked his phone so that
Benny wouldn't see it.
"Fine" Benny looked at him for a moment more then nodded and turned back to his
friends, not wanting to push. Dean sat still for a moment before unlocking his
phone. The picture appeared once more on his screen and he closed it down and
went to send a text. He wrote a text, deleted it and wrote another, over and
over again before finally deciding what to say.
To:The Queen
Sent:10:24am
I didn't know Cas was bi x
                                   [] [] []
Charlie grinned widely at the text, Cas lifted his head from his work and
sighed at her.
"I don't understand how Dean finding out I'm Bi is going to make him like
me..." Charlie grinned at him but he didn't care anymore, he let his head drop
on the table.
"Don't be mopey! It's unattractive"
"I do not believe mopey is a word" he mumbled without moving, Charlie stuck out
her tongue. "And if anything is unattractive it's sticking your tongue out at
people"
"How can you even see me...?" Cas finally lifted his head and tapped his nose
twice, smiling. But really, he hadn't seen her. He simply knew her well enough
to give an informed guess. They laughed for a little while before Castiel's
expression turned sad again "Remember when you first found out you were Bi, you
told me that finding out that Inias liked you back made it so much easier to
come to terms with" Cas nodded "well, I figured that Dean finding out you like
guys would give him hope that you liked him back and he'd freak out a bit
less... And if that failed then at least he'd know that he'd be able to talk to
you about what's happening"
"I suppose that makes sense..." he said after a short pause and she grinned at
him. He went back to work as she text him back.
To:Dean
Sent:10:30am
Yeah, for a few years now. Start thinking of someone to set him up with and
we'll talk in computing :D Cas is starting to get suspicious of my texting...
xxxx
"So... what's the next part of your plan to get him to like me?" Castiel asked
"not that I'm supporting it or anything, I'm simply curious" Charlie placed her
hand on top of his in a comforting manner.
"He already likes you, sweetie. He's just scared to admit it... it's confusing
to come to terms with" she rubbed his hand and once he nodded slung her arm
over his shoulder. "Okay, so Stage Two was simple" she said in hushed tonnes
and constantly looking around to make sure no-one was listening, as if it was a
top secret mission, Cas laughed at her but she ignored him, "Stage Three will
take a bit more time. I haven't worked out the exact details but we need his
mind to associate you with sex"
"That sound's simple" he responded sarcastically
"I never said it would be easy, Novak" she pulled back to look at him, "but the
constant sex hair you've got going on makes it a bit easier" she mussed his
hair as she spoke and he frowned at her and pulled away. They stared at each
other for a moment before bursting out laughing, which got them immediately
told off by their teacher.
                                   [] [] []
Dean was already sitting at his computer when Charlie walked into third period.
"Okay" she said as she jumped down onto her seat beside him, "do you know any
of them already?" He looked confused for a moment before realising she was
talking about the picture she sent him.
"Hello to you to my Queen" she blushed and smacked him lightly on the arm, "no
I don't know either of them"
"Well, Inias was Cas' first proper relationship and first boyfriend. He's in
our year and you'll probably see him talking to Cas every now and then 'cause
they stayed friends. Ithink the picture I sent you was taken a couple of months
before they broke up, they were together for like two years" Dean nodded.
"Why'd they break up?"
"Just grew apart I suppose, it ended on really good terms though. Him and
Rachel, however didn't end well. They were together for about a year and were
really good together until she fell out with Crowley and Cas refused to stop
talking to him and they got into this big fight... it was all a bit stupid if
you ask me. But like I said they were really close up until that point so I
figure there's something there that can help us. Got any ideas so far?" Dean
shook his head.
"I don't know... I'm not sure if I'm the best person to ask. I've not even been
here a week yet, I don't really know anyone. So far I've ruled out three people
from the whole of the school population"
"And those are?"
"This Inias guy, Rachel and Meg"
"Don't forget about me. I mean he's lovely and everything, but I prefer someone
with bigger breasts" she giggled and Dean snorted a laugh, then she got an
idea. "You on the other hand are gorgeous, I'm sure he wouldn't mind jumping
you a couple of times." She sat back in her seat trying to make her mischievous
smile look innocent as she watched his face carefully. She had to squash down
her joy when she saw the signs of lust cross his features before he composed
himself.
"He wishes he could get some of this ass" she grinned and they chatted for the
rest of the lesson with Charlie occasionally helping Dean finish his Database.
"So are you going Jo's party tomorrow?" she asked,
"I'm not sure, are you?"
"Yeah definitely. Who else is going to keep Cas from getting too drunk" he
frowned at her.
"I wouldn't think Cas was that kind of guy"
"No, not always. But if he's feeling a bit down then he just goes for it. Last
time was just after him and Rachel broke up, it was Halloween. He ended up
making out with half the people there" she laughed at the memory and Dean's
eyes widened, he hadn't expected that at all. "But I've vowed to not let that
happen again, so I have to go. Please come too, it'll be more fun with you
there"
"I'll think about it"
"Great" she grinned taking that as a yes "text me your address and we'll pick
you up on the way. And please, no dates. I don't want to watch you sucking face
with Lisa all night" she laughed, but really she was worried that Cas seeing
the two of them together would make him depressed.
 
***** Chapter 5 *****
Dean dragged Castiel into the staff toilets to give him time to cool off. Meg
had showed up at Jo's party with her giant of a new boyfriend and the two had
proceeded to spend the night making out in front of Cas. And if that wasn't bad
enough, she created some sob-story and got the guy to threaten him. Cas was
angry and drunk and scared. The customer toilets were full and so Jo had given
them the key to the staff ones.
Cas leant against one of the sinks and stared into the mirror.
"I've ruined everything" the boy whispered and Dean immediately placed his
hands on his shoulders and spun him around to face him.
"Don't think like that, Cas"
"But I have, Dean. Meg cared for me, and now I've blown it and I'm alone" sad
blood shot eyes met green ones and tears spilled from them. Dean reached over
and grabbed some tissue from the dispenser on the wall. He used it to wipe the
tears away.
"Cas, you listen to me. Because, you are not alone. Me and Charlie are always
here for you, along with so many others who care for you. And you could have
anyone that you wanted" there was a slight pause.
"What if I wanted you?" Dean swallowed the urge to push himself away, knowing
that Cas would be devastated... he couldn't deal with causing him pain. Cas
took Dean not pulling away as a sign. He placed his hands on his neck and
pulled the taller boy towards him. Their lips crashed together and there was
only a slight hesitation before Dean responded to the kiss. He sighed as his
hands slipped from Cas's shoulders and to his lower back, pulling their waists
together. Cas gasped into Deans mouth at the contact and smiled, his tongue
licked around the inside of Cas's lips, earning another groan of pleasure,
before delving inside.
One of Cas's hands ran down his back and found it's way to Dean's ass, giving
it a squeeze. Both men were getting hard and Dean was suddenly pushed up
against a wall, Cas's hand working it's way around to the front of his jeans
and cupping the bulge there, making Dean groan. He ran his hand up Dean's
shirt, successfully pulling it off. Cas's mouth left Dean's and started to
travel along his jaw line and down his neck, biting and sucking at the skin.
Dean couldn't keep his hips still any longer and rolled them against Cas,
causing delicious friction and making both of them moan loudly. He repeated the
action again... and again, gasping and groaning at the contact, but they needed
more, one of his hands stayed at Cas's lower back as the other one began to
unbutton his shirt. But Cas pushed it away, grinding against him for a moment
more and kissed down his stomach, not stopping until he was on his knees with
his head in front of Dean's crotch.
Blue lust blown eyes looked up at him and he shivered with anticipation as Cas
began to pull Dean's jeans down to his ankles, followed shortly after by his
boxers. They stayed in that position for a moment as Cas's breath ghosted over
his rock hard dick, making it twitch. He smiled and brought his mouth closer,
licking away the pre-cum that had gathered at his head. Dean moaned loudly and
resisted the urge to grab Cas's hair, as the boy placed a delicate kiss to his
apex and slowly swallowed his head. Dean was trying to watch the actions of the
man below him but was overcome with sensation, he threw his head backwards,
gasping and moaning. He rocked his hips forward the tiniest bit without
consciously meaning to. Cas's hands found their way to Dean's ass again and he
licked delicately down to his base and back up.
"Fuck, Cas!" he breathed, needing more. The boy smiled and finally swallowed
him whole.
There was a knock on the door and Dean opened his eyes, shooting up to a
sitting position on his bed. His dick was throbbing and he couldn't help but
rub at it.
"Son of a bitch" he whispered to himself. Since when did he have dreams like
that about guys. There was another knock. "What do you want, Sam?" he shouted,
maybe a little too tensely.
"You told me to wake you when I head out" his brother responded defensively.
"I'll be back in an hour or so"
"Right okay. See ya" after a few seconds he heard the motel room door shut and
looked down at his tented lap, he shook his head and walked into the bathroom
to take a long shower.
                                   [] [] []
If Dean hadn't decided to pretend the dream never happened then he probably
would have stayed away from the party that night. But he was stubborn and if he
didn't go then it would be admitting that not only did the dream happen but
that it had meant something. So when Charlie asked where they were picking him
up from he didn't even think about not going. However, he couldn't tell her
that him and his brother were currently living in a crappy motel. He though for
a moment before texting her back.
To: The Queen
Sent: 7:32pm
Hey. Can we meet at the park on Knutton Lane? My Dad's working late hours and
so he'll be asleep. I don't want to wake him xx
From: The Queen
Received: 7:35pm
Yh, of course. C ya at half 8 :D xxxxx
Dean smiled, he passed that park on his way to school every morning. It was
about a ten minute walk away and was surrounded by apartment buildings, he
could easily say that he lived in one of them. Forty minutes later he was
applying a small bit of gel to his hair, making it stick up slightly. He smiled
at his reflection and applied cologne. Dean walked past Sam sitting on the sofa
and watching some documentary about penguins and smiled.
"I'm heading out now. I've got my phone on me so text if you need me" Sammy
grunted an okay and Dean left the motel. The sun was only just going down and
it was quite warm still so he removed his signature leather jacket as he made
his way towards the park. He was there a little early and so just leaned
against the fence and waited. A white BMW M3 Saloon pulled up and he saw
Charlie in the back seat wave at him. He walked around and got in at the other
side. He smiled as he sat down and saw Cas in the front passenger seat.
"Hello Dean" he welcomed, "this is my brother Luke"
"Hey" Dean said and whistled in approval when he looked around, "nice car, man"
the blond in the drivers seat looked around at Dean and smiled.
"Thanks, I just got a new interior" Dean nodded and smiled back as Cas's
brother returned to looking at the road.
"I've got to say though" Charlie said "red and black seats in a white car in a
bit odd" the driver smiled.
"Kind of matches him perfectly though doesn't it" Cas said, "nice and innocent
at first glance but if you get close enough, you see he's really the devil deep
down" Charlie and Cas giggled and Luke sighed. Dean was just confused but kept
quiet. The rest of the ride carried on in much the same manner until they were
pulled into a car park outside The Roadhouse bar and the three of them got out.
"Hey" Luke shouted before Cas closed his door, "I'll be here to pick you up at
twelve, text me if you want to leave earlier"
"Thanks Luke" he closed the door and the car sped off.
"Come on, Bitches!" Charlie shouted back at them as she headed into the bar,
they followed her in not long after. She waited for them and linked arms with
both as she led them to get a drink. Jo saw them from across the room, ran up
to them and hugged Dean.
"Hey!" she shouted over the music "glad you came" she turned and started to say
something to Charlie when a new song started "Oh my God," she said turning back
to Dean, "I love this song! Dance with me?" she pulled his hand and led him
away from his friends he smiled back at them and shrugged. Once they stopped he
leant down towards her so she could hear him.
"REO Speedwagon? Really"
"Damn right REO" she shouted back at him "Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart"
"He sings it from the hair... there's a difference" Charlie was watching them
dancing in that purposefully-bad way to a remixed version of 'Can't fight this
Feeling' and laughed, she didn't notice the jealousy in Cas's eyes because she
wasn't really looking. She also didn't notice him start downing shots that were
being given out, or at least not until she heard cheering behind her and turned
to see him on his fifth. She ran towards him and smacked the sixth out of his
hand, then grabbed it and pulled him away. With his spare hand he quickly
grabbed two more shots and necked them both.
Charlie considered taking him into one of the back rooms and shouting at him
but decided against it, Cas had an unnervingly high natural tolerance to
alcohol. She didn't know why, only that it was genetic, all the Novak's can
handle their drinks. Also, Cas tended to have one big blow out when he's sad
and then swear off alcohol for weeks on end, so who was she to tell him not to
do it... as long as he wasn't hurting anyone. She stopped moving and looked at
him taking the two empty shot glasses and putting them down on the table next
to her.
"Are you mad at me?" he slurred slightly when he asked.
"No, sweetie. Of course not. You're hurting, and one night acting like this
isn't going to hurt... just make sure that it is only one night" Dean and Jo
walked up to them smiling. "Happy birthday, Jo" Charlie shouted over the music
"I would have said it earlier but you kind of took our wing man and ran off"
Jo smiled at her shyly, "thanks" she murmured then looked off behind Charlie to
where she could see Pamela making out with the guy that she sits next to in
Math, Jo rolled her eyes. "Did you hear that Pamela got a tattoo with Jesse's
name on it?" she asked incredulously, "she flirts with anything with two legs
and suddenly she's all 'Jesse forever'? He's not even a nice guy, he treats her
like shit..." Charlie nodded in agreement. At that moment a boy with a mullet,
wearing ripped jeans and a band shirt strolled up to them and patted Jo on the
back.
"Hey guys" he said
"Hey" Jo replied "have you met Dean?" Ash stuck out his hand and Dean shook it.
"Your in my computing class I think" Dean nodded "I'm Ash"
"Hey" he noticed his shirt then and smiled "Lynyrd Skynyrd? Not bad" he
approved.
"I need a drink" Cas said abruptly, he turned and practically ran towards the
nearest drinks table. Dean only hesitated a second before following him,
Charlie looked like she was going to as well but Dean shook his head, mouthing
'I got this' when the base kicked in on the song that was playing, making it
near impossible to hear each other from the distance that they had between
them. Dean walked up to his friend and slung his arm over his shoulder. Cas
flinched away in shock and Dean took it off, holding up his hands in peaceful
manner.
"What's wrong, Cas?"
"Nothing" he slurred defensively and necked a shot.
"Whoa, you're on the vodka shots already?" Cas scowled at him.
"So what if I am?" Dean looked at his friend for a moment and shook his head.
"How many have you had? I need to catch up" he poured himself a shot and drank
it, he pulled a face and then repeated.
"Why?"
"Friends don't let friends get drunk by themselves" he answered and took
another shot. Cas smiled and joined in.
Three more shots later and his mood had improved significantly. Some Black Eyed
Peas song came bursting through the speakers and Dean frowned.
"Man, this song sucks" he shouted and downed another shot. Cas nodded, not
really liking or disliking it but wanting to get along with Dean. He finished
off the two shots he had poured for himself and waited for Cas to do the same
before picking up one of the bottles of vodka and removed the pourer. He began
to walk off and shouted for Cas to follow, which he did.
They got outside and he dropped himself down onto one of the chairs that had
been moved out here to make a dance floor inside, Cas sat next to him and
smiled happily.
"Why we out here?" he asked
"To get away from t' music" he slurred, Cas laughed as his drunk mind provided
Dean's statement as funny.
"I know!" Cas shouted, "lets play 'I have never'!" Dean grinned, they were both
too drunk to realise that the game was a bit useless with just the two of them.
"Yeah! I'll start" he paused to think "I have never kissed more than four
different people in one night" he smiled, remembering Charlie's story about how
Cas acted last Halloween. Cas grabbed the bottle and took a swig.
"I have never watched a Batman film" he said remembering a shirt that Dean had
worn a couple of days ago. Dean grabbed the bottle and took a gulp.
"I have never kissed a guy" Cas reached over to get the bottle but changed his
mind and grabbed Dean's face instead, he pulled their mouths together. After a
slight hesitation Dean responded, closing his eyes and moaning lightly. He
brushed his tongue over his lips, and Dean eagerly opened his mouth to allow
entrance. Cas pulled away and smirked.
"You have now"
                                   [] [] []
Charlie's eyes scanned the room after having lost track of her best friend's
whereabouts. Jo and Ash both noticed her worrying at the same time.
"Do you want to go look for them?" Ash asked. Charlie nodded and began to walk
off, the two of them followed her.
"You guys don't have to come with" she said. They looked at each other and
shrugged.
"We want to" Jo answered. They made their way through the crowd towards the
nearest drinks table but there was no sight of either of the boys. Charlie was
about to turn away and try somewhere else when Jo jumped up onto the table.
"Hey!" she shouted and everyone nearby turned to look her way "anyone seen
Castiel?" A couple of people pointed towards the exit and she smiled her
appreciation "thanks!" Ash helped her down and the three of them wandered out
into the cold night air. Charlie saw them the moment she got outside and a huge
smile spread across her face. Ash and Jo turned to look and their eyes went
wide, not expecting to see the two in such a position.
Cas was sitting on a chair with Dean straddling him, both men were moaning into
each others mouths as they made out. Dean's jacket was lying on the floor and
Cas's shirt was unbuttoned, he squeezed Dean's ass and the man on top of him
growled out his name while he tugged his hair in return. Charlie let out a wolf
whistle which made the pair of them stop their escapades and turn to look at
the onlookers. Dean face burned a deep shade of red as he got up off of Cas and
they noticed him pull his hand out from the front of his friend's trousers. For
a moment no-one said anything.
"Are we interrupting something?" Charlie asked innocently with a raised
eyebrow.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Dean woke up the next morning with a killer hangover, he groaned and turned his
head into his pillow. After a few seconds the events of the night before washed
over him and he shot up into a sitting position on his bed. His head banged at
the sudden movement and he held it in his hands to keep it from exploding. When
he started to feel less like he was going to throw up he let go and moved to
pick up his phone. He stopped when he realised he wasn't back at the motel. He
head span as he tried desperately to remember what happened after Charlie found
them making out but the rest of the night was a blur. His chest tightened as he
thought about what could have happened. Was this Castiel's room? His bed? Had
they had sex?
Dean climbed out of the double bed, relieved to see that he still had on his
jeans even if he wasn't wearing a top. He looked around the room for any sign
of his missing clothes but came up empty. He ran his hand through his hair and
took a deep breath before heading out onto the landing. There was a bang from
one of the other rooms and a few seconds later a door opened and Charlie popped
her head out. She grinned at him and he blushed.
"Hey" she practically sang, "I thought I heard you getting up" he smiled meekly
at her. She seemed to notice for the first time that he was only half dressed.
"Oh right, I put your top in the wash last night, you'd spilt vodka all over
it. It's down stairs" She stepped around him and walked to the ground floor,
Dean followed. They seemed to be the only people in the house.
"Is there anyone else here?" he asked and she shook her head, he was about to
ask where her parents were when he remembered that she told him they died in a
car accident a few years ago. "Where's your guardian?"
"Hester works Sundays, she won't be home for a few hours" Charlie took his
shirt from the radiator and handed it to him, just before he put it on she
noticed a scar on his lower abdomen, she was about to ask about it but decided
not to.
"So, not that I don't love you and everything... but why am I here?"
"You were pretty drunk last night and with everything you said about your Dad
working bad hours, we figured it was better for you to stay over at someone's
house for the night instead of go home... we decided it would probably be
better to stay here then at Cassie's" she winked at him and his heart gave a
squeeze at the thought, his whole body blushed beet red and Charlie giggled.
"I... um... I got to get home. I'm meant to be looking after my brother"
Charlie nodded in understanding, she offered to call him a taxi but he felt
like he needed a walk to clear his head so she gave him directions to get back
to the park instead. He grabbed his phone, jacket and put on his boots and was
out the door a few minutes later. He checked his phone as he was walking and
saw a text.
From: Cas
Received: 11:11am
I think we need to talk about last night
He rubbed his temple and replied.
To: Cas
Sent: 11:48am
Yh so do I. Where?
From: Cas
Received: 11:49am
Where are you now?
To: Cas
Sent: 11:49am
Walking home from Charlie's
From: Cas
Received: 11:49am
How about the park where we picked you up yesterday? In half an hour?
To: Cas
Sent: 11:50am
I'll be there
Half an hour later and Dean was sitting on a bench in the park, his stomach was
in knots as he thought over what he could say to Cas. He was so lost in thought
that he didn't even notice as the man in question walked up to him until he'd
spoke.
"Hello" he said quietly, Dean lifted his head and met blue eyes.
"Hey" Cas sat down next to him and they both stayed silent for a moment.
"What do you want to do about last night?" he asked, cutting straight to the
point and Dean shrugged.
"I dunno Cas. It was just a drunken..." Dean was about to say it was a drunken
mistake but thought he saw sadness cross his friend's face and decided to tell
the truth, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly while moving his gaze
from Cas to his own hands. "I've never been interested in guys... before I met
you. And I know that if I'd been sober then it wouldn't have happened, because
I wouldn't have let it happen… how I feel is new and confusing and scary as
hell... I just don't know what I want anymore." Cas nodded to himself and
smiled slightly as he began to feel hope. He resisted the urge to take his
friend's hand.
"I understand," he replied "I know exactly how you're feeling, I've been there
myself... and I'm not going to push you into making a decision when you're not
yet ready to. I am going to say that, once you're less confused, I believe that
I would like to try a relationship... but if you didn't want to then I would
still very much like to stay friends" Castiel got up to leave Dean alone with
his thoughts. He got to the gate before he registered the sound of footsteps
running towards him.
"Cas?" He turned around to look at Dean, just as the boy reached him. He
grabbed Cas's face in both hands and brought their lips together in an
enthusiastic kiss which he instantly responded to. After a few seconds they
broke apart and Dean grinned at the other boy's confusion. "You wanna go out
sometime?" he asked, to which Castiel simply nodded.
                                   [] [] []
After he left the park, Cas had drove straight to Charlie's house. She had
squealed in delight when she saw the grin that was plastered on his face.
"So where are you going tonight?" she questioned after he told her what
happened in the park.
"Cinema to watch Iron Man 3, we would be going to dinner afterwards as well but
he asked if we could keep it quiet for a while"
"Are you sure you should be going to see Iron Man if you want to keep it quiet?
Talk about a couples film" she replied sarcastically and Cas huffed a laugh at
her bad joke. "So? You never gave me all the gory details of how you two ended
up macking at Jo's party" Cas smiled at his best friend.
"Well I had already had a bit to drink when Ash showed up and I suppose that
when I saw them getting along together, I got jealous again so I walked off and
he found me a bit later. I thought he was going to complain at me for having so
many shots but... I don't know, maybe he thought I needed it as much as I did?
Anyway he started drinking then too, saying something about how it is a group
activity. Then after a while we got bored of the music and went outside to have
a game of 'I have never', Dean said that he'd never kissed a guy before so I
kissed him and he kissed back."
"And that's when we showed up" she said, grinning.
"Actually, no. That kiss only lasted a few minutes before I pulled away. After
the kiss broke I took a drink of vodka and then he was just kissing me again...
it got a bit heated after that..." he finished shyly.
"You can say that again... he had his hand down your pants" Cas blushed at her
words and smiled weakly at her laughter.
                                   [] [] []
Dean saw Cas waiting for him across the cinema lobby. He couldn't believe he
was doing this. It was so unlike anything that he had ever done before. Castiel
hadn't seen him yet and so he aloud himself a moment to breath before he
started to walk towards him.
"Hey"
"Hello, Dean"
"So, I broke up with Lisa..." Cas smiled slightly.
"How'd she take it?"
"She was fine, I just told her that I'd met someone else and she understood.
She's a nice person" he thought about her for a moment and he knew that he did
like her, but it just wasn't enough... they stared awkwardly for a moment and
then he patted Cas on the shoulder. "Come on, lets buy the tickets."
A couple of minutes later and they were sitting in the back of 'Screen 5' with
two boxes of popcorn and drinks, the place was nearly empty since the film had
already been showing for about a month.
"So, it was nice of Luke to take us and pick us up last night"
"Yeah, he's not normally that nice..." Cas laughed to himself at a memory and
Dean smiled.
"Is that why you call him the devil?" Cas's grin widened.
"No, actually his birth name is Lucifer... he changed it when I was young and
hates us calling it him. Not that it stops Michael or Gabriel"
"How many brother's do you have?"
"Just the three. I also have a sister, Anna"
"Okay so Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel and Castiel. They're all names of angels
right?" Cas nodded, "So where does Anna come in?"
"Her real name is Anael, everyone just calls her Anna though"
"Who decided to name you all after angels?"
"I don't know. Anna is my half sister with a different Mum and she's named
after an Angel but so am I and my Dad left before I was born... So maybe both
my parents?"
"Have you never asked your Mum?" Cas shook his head and looked a little sad.
"No, she died of cancer when I was two. Michael and Lucifer look after us"
"Oh… I'm sorry Cas, I didn't know. We don't have to talk about this"
"No, it's fine. I want you to know... I've never met my Dad, Luke got into a
big argument with him not long after he turned eighteen because he found out
that my Dad was cheating. He told everyone but he'd said he wouldn't do it
again and so my Mum forgave him, and then Luke left. He'd tried to talk Michael
into going as well but he wouldn't do it, so a year or so later when my Dad
left us Michael tried to find Luke but he still wouldn't come home... it wasn't
until after my Mum got ill that he came back. And once she'd died he stayed and
him and Michael filed for the rights to take care of me and Gabriel..." Dean
reached out and took his hand, "Michael did try to contact my Dad after my Mum
died, but couldn't find him. And when he was looking for him he went to the
house of the woman he'd been dating, that's when he found out about Anna. She's
never met my Dad before either, he just left with out an explanation or a clue
to say where he was going" he paused to think "Technically I have another
brother, Zacharia, he's Anna's twin. But we don't get along and he always acts
like everyone's beneath him so I don't really think of him as family" Dean
nodded and slowly stroked his thumb across the back of Cas's hand as he told
him his story. "Well now you know about my family, what's yours like?"
Dean had never hated talking about his family more than he did in this moment,
because Cas had been so open and honest and Dean couldn't be that way. He
couldn't tell Cas what his family was really like, no matter how much he wanted
to. Because if he did tell him then Cas would either pity him, or think he was
lying or be disgusted that he might turn into his Dad…
"There's not too much to tell. My Mum died in a fire when I was four and since
then my Dad has been moving us around for his job. He sleeps a lot during the
day because of late hours so I look after my brother" he shrugged and Cas
looked at him with concern.
"But who looks after you?"
"I look after myself"
"You don't have anyone else who you could stay with?"
"I have an Uncle, we aren't actually related though. He insisted that we stayed
with him sometimes when we were younger after he realised about everything that
was happening" well, almost everything, he still doesn't know that his Dad was
insane and fought imaginary monsters "but they got into a fight about it a few
years back and so my Dad wont let us stay there anymore" Cas nodded, happy that
someone had been looking out for Dean since his Dad obviously wasn't.
A few seconds later the lights dimmed and the trailers started to play, they
both turned to watch and neither of them took their hand out of the others.
About half an hour after the film started Dean decided that he really liked
Cas's laugh and since he'd already seen the film he chose to watch Cas instead,
he noticed and turned to look back at Dean. They stared at each other for a
moment and Dean lifted his hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it delicately
before placing it back down on the arm rest. Cas took his hand from Dean's
making him think he'd done something wrong until he placed it on the back of
his neck and pulled him closer for a long kiss. They ended up missing the next
ten minutes of the film.
As the credits began to play Cas started to get up but Dean pulled him back
down, he looked at him in confusion.
"The film has finished" Cas pointed out and Dean huffed a laugh.
"It's a Marvel film" Cas nodded, still looking confused "I have much to teach
you" he said shaking his head with a small smile. "There are two things that
you can always count on happening in a Marvel film. Number one; Stan Lee will
make a five second guest appearance. Number two; there will be an additional
scene during the credits" just as he said it the music began to quieten and
both boys turned their heads towards the screen as the two minute scene played
out.
"I didn't know that" Cas said as they got up to leave.
"Rookie" Dean laughed, then after realising that no-one was around he leaned in
for a quick kiss. They walked in comfortable silence for a moment as they
exited 'Screen 5'.
"Who's Stan Lee?" Dean shook his head once more.
"It's a good thing you've got your looks"
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Notes
     So I decided to make Cas a bit experienced when it came to sex in
     this AU; because I figured that he was a virgin in the show because
     he was an angel. He had sex pretty quickly once he turned human. So I
     decided that if he grew up human then he would have had more of a
     desire for sex and so he's going to know what he's doing and not be
     all awkward virgin… That being said, I'm not too sure if I like this
     chapter because at the time when I wrote it I was still new at
     writing smut so bare with me please. But hang in there, because I
     think it gets better as the chapters progress.
Oddly enough, Monday morning was exactly the same as every other morning Dean
had had for the past week; he got up and walked Sammy to school before turning
back around and walking back to his own school, he met Charlie and Cas at the
gates and even though she teased them a bit, lessons went on as they normally
did.
Dean and Charlie walked into the cafeteria and got their food then began to
walk over to where Cas and Balthazar were sitting. Meg, Pamela and Bela no-
longer sat with them since the break-up.
"Oh look Cassie, it's your boyfriend" Balthazar said, beaming. Dean shot an
accusing look at Castiel who put his hands up in self defence.
"I didn't tell him. He figured it out by himself" Dean nodded.
"Okay, fine. But can we just keep it between us four?" Cas and Balthazar both
nodded while Charlie grimaced. "Who did you tell?" he asked.
"No-one. Honestly. But... I wasn't the only one to walk in on you two making
out..." Dean's eyes widened as he remembered that Jo and Ash both knew.
"Son of a bitch" Dean whispered under his breath.
"Don't worry. She said that they weren't going to tell anyone"
"Other then Kevin and Garth you mean" Balthazar said and Charlie kicked him
under the table. Dean dropped his head into his hands and was on the verge of
hyperventilating. When Dean wasn't looking Charlie caught the eye of Ash and
waved him over, Jo, Kevin and Garth followed.
"Don't worry Dean, no-one else is going to find out until you're ready. Right
guys?" Charlie asked and looked around at everyone on their table, including
the four new comers. Everyone agreed to keep it quiet except Garth.
"Find out what?" he asked.
"That Dean and Cas are together" Jo whispered.
"Oh yeah, don't sweat it man. We're not telling anyone" He grinned goofily and
Dean gave a thumbs up without meeting anyone's eyes.
"Dean" Cas said after a few seconds of silence. "I need to talk to you. Can we
go somewhere?" Dean nodded his head.
"Sure Cas" they both got up and walked out of the canteen, they walked for a
little while and ended up outside the school library, there were plenty of
people inside but no-one was in the corridor outside except for them.
"You don't have to do this if you're not ready yet" Castiel said sadly,
"Do what?"
"this" he gestured to in-between themselves. Dean shook his head.
"I want to Cas" he whispered, "I'm sorry if I've been a bit of an ass... it's
just all a bit confusing"
"I know, and I'm here to help you get through this, even if we don't stay
together" for a moment Dean considered taking him up on his offer to just go
back to being friends, but he was struck by how much he didn't want that. Dean
shook his head and Cas smiled a little in relief, they stared at each other for
a moment longer.
"So, I was wondering what you wanted to do tonight?" he asked and Cas grinned.
"How about dinner at the Roadhouse? Jo's mum owns it and there's a small room
in the back that no-one other than staff are aloud in, she already said that we
could use it for one of our 'secret dates'" Dean smiled.
"I like that plan"
The bell rang and they went their separate ways, Cas going to German as Dean
went to English.
"Hey Dean" Lisa said as he sat next to her, "how's that girl of yours? You
asked her out yet?"
"Yeah we're going on a date tonight" he said
"Ooh. So you can tell me her name now?" Dean shook his head.
"Sorry, we're keeping it low profile for a while" Lisa pouted for a moment and
then gave up. They talked for a little longer and Dean was glad to note that
they would still stay friends, he liked Lisa.
After school finished, Cas and Charlie dropped him off at the middle school
like they always did and he walked his bother home.
                                   [] [] []
At 8o'clock Cas drove to the park to pick Dean up for their second date. He
wasn't sure why they were going on a date already after their first one had
only been the day before but decided that he liked it. He got to the park a bit
early and thought for a moment, his mind wandered to Dean as it had been doing
for the past week. He thought about his green-brown eyes and how they crinkle
when he smiles, he thought about how hips lips tasted, he thought about how he
smelt of oil, aftershave and something darker just under the surface. Then he
thought about what he'd told him of his family and felt anger. How could anyone
do that to their sons? Drag them around from town to town all their adolescent
lives and force Dean to give up his childhood to look after his brother. Dean
hadn't said how long he'd been looking after Sam, only that he was, but he
assumed that it had been pretty much straight away.
There was a knock on the passenger side window which made Cas jump out of his
skin. He looked over to see Dean smiling down at him and so he flipped the
switch to unlock the door.
"Hey good-looking" Dean said as he sat down, this made Cas blush. "What you
thinking about?"
"You" a grin spread across Dean's face. "Don't be so cocky, it's unattractive"
Dean leant over and kissed him on the cheek. Cas smiled and drove them to The
Roadhouse. Jo saw them as they stepped inside and waved them over, she opened
the gate that went into the back of the bar as they came closer. They stepped
inside and she walked them past an older woman with brown hair who was talking
to Ash and into a room next to the kitchen. Cas smiled at the woman as they
walked past and she answered by reaching out and ruffling the boy's hair before
smiling at Dean.
There was one sofa and two tables in the room, one of them was set up like it
was in a romantic restaurant. It was covered in a cream table cloth with two
fancy glass placemats and three small candles in-between them. Dean and Cas
both turned around to glare at Jo, she looked back at them innocently, or at
least she tried to but there was an evil glint in her eyes and she couldn't
hold back her laugh for very long.
"Do you think we should just leave and order takeaway?" Dean asked and got a
laugh from his boyfriend, who nodded enthusiastically. However they didn't get
chance to before a man walked in holding two plates of Spaghetti Bolognese. He
was grinning at the pair as he placed their meals on the table that neither was
sitting down at yet.
"I should have know this was your idea" Cas said as he shook his head, "how did
you even find out?" The man looked at Cas and winked.
"I have my ways" he turned to Dean, "So you must be Dean-o... I must say that
you are much prettier then the last one… They call me the Trickster..." he said
with an menacing glint to his eyes.
"No-one calls you that, Gabriel" Cas said
"I do!" Jo said as she stepped out of the room but Cas ignored her.
"If Dean wasn't here then you would so be dead right now... I just don't want
to scare him off by committing man-slaughter" Gabriel grinned at his brother.
"Oh, I almost forgot" he shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a condom
before handing it to Cas, "for dessert" with that he winked at Dean and ran out
of the room, the two both heard the lock slam closed as he left. Cas stared
down at the condom in his hand and blushed a bright red before shoving it in
his coat pocket. and sitting down, Dean followed.
"So that's your brother... he's a bit of an ass" Cas huffed out a laugh and
looked into his boyfriends eyes.
"Understatement"
                                   [] [] []
About half an hour later Gabriel silently unlocked the wooden door and popped
his head in to see his brother making out with Dean. He smiled and retreated,
leaving the door ajar so the pair would know they were free to leave. Dean was
the first one to notice. They separated from the kiss in desperate need of
oxygen, both were panting and smiling widely.
"Damn, I could get used to that" Dean informed him. He looked over his
boyfriend's head, who was currently sitting on his lap and then looked back
into blue eyes. "Do you want to go somewhere else to finish off this date?"
"We can't, the doors locked remember"
"Not anymore" Cas turned around and also noted the door being open, he smiled
lightly and stood up, pulling Dean with him.
"Lets go" they snuck out of The Roadhouse without being spotted, the place was
starting to get busy and so they just blended into the crowd. They went
directly to Castiel's car and sped off down the road, grinning like fools. They
drove around a bit, talking about nothing in particular as they held hands. It
was just turning 10'oclock by the time that Cas pulled up next to the park.
"I had a really good time tonight" Dean said, "even if we did end up getting
held captive by your crazed brother" Cas laughed and leaned towards his
boyfriend for a chaste kiss.
"I enjoyed your company very much as well" they stared at each other lovingly
for a moment, "you know I have a little more time until I'm expected home" he
announced.
"Are you propositioning me Castiel?" he joked and acted shocked as his
boyfriend grinned, nodded and leant in for a kiss. His tongue slipped into his
mouth and started to explore, wanting to learn it of by heart. Cas placed his
hands on Dean's hips and pulled him closer, he obliged. He can feel himself
getting hard as their tongues danced and fought for dominance. The widows began
to fog up as they groaned out one another's names. They both wanted more, Cas
pulled Dean even closer and the boy climbed onto his lap, straddling him.
"Oh God" he moaned as their erections brushed. Dean pulls back thinking he'd
gone too far but he simply shakes his head and pulls their lips together once
more. At the same time he bucked his hips upwards, and listened to his
boyfriend's groan in response. They're panting heavily in-between increasingly
enthusiastic kisses and their lower bodies grind lazily against each other.
Castiel's hand wandered forwards and played with the zipper on Dean's jeans
before pushing his hand inside his trousers. He grips the erections and its
throbs in his hand.
"Fuck Cas!" he mewls in pleasure. He runs his fingers over it, watching in
delight at the expressions that appear on Dean's face.
"Backseat" he whispers and Dean is soon crawling off him and over the back of
the seats, Cas joins him. There wasn't much room back there and so he presses
down closer to his boyfriend, growling his name. They hurriedly remove each
other's clothes and Cas lowers himself on top of the other boy, then thrusts
his hips. They groan in unison at the beautiful friction that is created by the
brush of erections and so he does it again, this time Dean bucks his hips at
the same time and they meet each other thrust for thrust.
Castiel lowers his lips to Dean's neck and begin to kiss his way along the
sensitive skin and they thrust their erections against one another again. He
kisses down to his collar bone and nibbles lightly, he then moved his lips
lower to Dean's nipple sucks down on it
"Cas!" Dean growls as his boyfriend rocks on top of him, he pulls him up for a
sloppy kiss and then the grinding fastens. Dean reaches around for the boys
trench coat and pulls out the condom. He grins and is about to remove the
wrapper when a hand stops him. Cas looks down and shakes his head.
"No lube" he grunts and he continues to grind against him. He takes the wrapper
and throws it on the floor then continues with his work of biting, kissing and
sucking down the body of the boy underneath him. He laps at the nipple with his
tongue some more and Dean grips hard onto his sides in an attempt to keep from
screaming out. Cas laughs and then moves down Dean's chest and to his stomach
and then further down.
He flicks his tongue out and over Dean's cock, the boy groans loudly, throws
his head backwards and just barely resists the urge to thrust upwards. Cas
laughs slightly and kisses softly from his apex down to his base and back up
again. He licks a line over the throbbing vein and watches Dean's face with a
delicious smile. He takes his head in his mouth, sucking lightly. Dean's hands
find their way into his hair and groans loudly for more. So Cas obliges, slowly
moving down his shaft until the head was at the back of his throat. He lifts
his hand and ghosts it over his boyfriend testes, causing him to shake
violently. Then he begins to bob his head up and down, his tongue lapping out
to places the rest of his mouth can't quite reach. Dean pulls on the mop of
dark-brown hair and Cas groans onto his dick, bringing his orgasm so close.
"Cas... I'm going to..." Cas understands but doesn't move away, he instead
sucks harder on the throbbing dick and allows Dean to come in his mouth. Dean
wanted to watch the incredibly hot sight of him swallowing down his seed, but
he couldn't keep his head from tipping backwards as he orgasmed. His muscles
shook and spasmed with the strength of his orgasm and she shouted out Cas's
name. Stars flew behind his closed eyes and he panted hard. He looked down at
his blue eyed boyfriend, ready to repay the favour when he noticed he was
grasping himself and thrusting into his hand furiously, not able to wait
longer.
Dean smacked his hand away and replaced it with his own. He pulls their lips
together and tasted himself on Cas's tongue but didn't care, Cas broke the kiss
and leant their foreheads against one another, unable to keep making out when
he was gasping so much from the friction caused by Dean's hand.
He stops for a moment to rub his thumb over his head and collect more pre-cum
to use as lubricant then continued to pump his boyfriend.
"Yes... Yes! YES!" Castiel groans as he comes closer, Dean speeds up his
movements and he soon climaxes in his hand. He collapses, panting on top of his
boyfriend who kisses the top of his head lovingly. After a few minutes Cas
realises that he has to move or he'll fall asleep so he sluggishly gets up and
reaches over the top of the seats and into the glove compartment the remove a
packet of tissues, he hands one to Dean and they both clean up and get changed.
They get out of the car and Dean pulls him in for one last kiss.
"Tonight was amazing" he whispered and Cas nodded in agreement before returning
to the drivers seat and waved him goodbye.
                                   [] [] []
The next day, Cas was incredibly happy. There was nothing that could bring him
down. He went to the shop in the morning and happily bought more condoms and
lube so that he could keep some in his car and school bag, just in case of
emergencies. He hurried to the self-checkout and smiled as he scanned his
items... sometimes you just couldn't cope with others seeing what you were
buying, especially when you were as shy in front of strangers as he was.
He probably should have made more of an effort to hide the shopping because the
second that he picked up Charlie she went into the car boot to put her bag in
there and opened up the carrier bag. She brought it into he front seat as she
sat down and lifted up the items with a smirk on her face.
"I'm going to assume that last night went well" she said and he was mortified,
but even that couldn't stop his good mood, he simply nodded and blushed beet
red before driving off and telling her the amazing story of the previous
night's date as she squealed happily.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Notes
     I wrote that Cas's family wouldn't care about him having sex at the
     age of sixteen because that's the legal age over here. Just pretend
     that they're in a state where sixteen is the legal age for sex
     instead of eighteen.
Castiel hurried his family out the door.
"Remember," Gabriel said to him "no-matter how much Dean likes the pie... no
sex in the kitchen" Cas's blushed a deep red and, on noticing, Michael looked
like he was about to hit Gabe on the back of the head but stopped and turned
back to Cas.
"He brings up a good point"
"Okay! No sex in the kitchen. Now will you guys leave already? Dean will be
here any moment!" Gabe laughed and followed Luke out the door, Michael stayed
behind for a moment, smiled and then left with them. Cas collapsed against the
door in relief to finally have the house to himself. He waited until he heard
Mike's car pulling out the drive then brought the pie into the living room from
the kitchen and stripped down to his boxers. After their date on Monday, they'd
had another of Wednesday and a fourth on Friday, today was Saturday and their
fifth date. They had only had sex that one time in the back of the car so he
was going to take full advantage of an empty house.
There was a knock on the door and Cas had to force himself to take a deep
breath to calm himself before opening it. He smiled as his boyfriend's gaze
wandered down his half naked boy.
"Hello" he said before grabbing the clothes on Dean's chest and pulled him in
for a kiss. He then let go of the boy and walked off into the living room. Dean
stood at the door for a moment, watching him leave, and then followed.
"Hey" he smirked and then spotted the pie and grinned.
"Are you going to keep all those layers on?" Cas asked sweetly as he pulled the
leather jacket off his shoulders. He got the idea and hurriedly undressed
himself so they were both wearing nothing but boxers. Castiel pressed up
against him and kissed at the sensitive skin just below his ear while his hands
explored his chest, Dean wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. The
dark haired boy pulled away and smirked as he felt his boyfriends hardness
against him.
"Let's eat some pie" he whispered into Dean's ear. They both sat down on the
floor extremely close to one another and picked up a spoon to dig into the
apple pie. Cas waited for his boyfriend to have first try.
"Mmmm. This is amazing Cas. Did you make this?"
"Yes I did. I know how much you adore pie so..." he trailed off and took the
squirty cream and added it to half the pastry before taking a bite of his own.
Dean watched as he closed his eyes in delight of the taste, sucking at the
spoon to take away every morsel left on there and licked away the small bit of
cream that had found its way to his upper lip. He leant forwards and kissed the
boy in front of him, pie temporarily forgotten as Cas deepened it, lay down and
pulled his boyfriend on top of him. One of Dean's legs knocked over the squirty
cream and as it hit the floor it squirted some onto Castiel's stomach. The boy
jumped at the coldness and was about to wipe it away when Dean bent over and
ran his tongue over the skin, licking it clean. Cas groaned at the rough tongue
on him and Dean smirked.
"You like that?" he asked and reached for the can. He squirted a line of cream
down from his boyfriend's chest to his boxers and slowly licked it off him.
"Dean" he whispered through pants of pleasure as the boy's tongue got closer to
the low hanging garment around his waist. Green lust-blown eyes glanced upwards
and saw his boyfriend's head tilted backwards just slightly, eyes closed and
lips open, 'he looks so fuckable' he thought to himself and grabbed the can
once more. This time he pulled away the boy's boxers and squirted the cold
topping on his rock hard lower member. Cas's hand found it way into Dean's hair
and grabbed tightly.
He lowered his head and licked away a small amount of cream off his head and
the boy beneath him wriggled in a need to be touched. He repeated the action,
this time taking a bit on his dick in his mouth and sucking away the cream.
"More" the boy demanded as his hips rocked slightly. Dean's heart was racing,
having never blown another man before. He swallowed down his fear as he licked
at the dick once again. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, the boy's
dick twitched as it felt his hot air against it. He finished licking off all
the cream and he grabbed the can once more. This time he added a lot more of
the topping to his boyfriend's dick. Dean licked first at the base and
testicles, making a slowing circling motion with his tongue and kept going
until it no-longer tasted sweet but salty. He then licked away the cream from
the apex of Cas's dick, tasting pre-cum underneath the substance. He took the
head in his mouth and sucked. Cas was panting, repeating his name in moans and
tugging at his hair. Dean lowered himself down and took more of Cas into his
mouth. He bobbed his head up and down, sucking on every upward movement and
taking a little bit more in his mouth every time he moved downwards.
Dean moved lower down until the head went too far back in this throat and he
coughed around it. He pulled off him for a moment, let out a few shaky breaths
and returned to his work. But after a few seconds the boy underneath him pulled
on his hair and dragged their lips together instead. His other hand found its
way into Dean's boxers and brushed his dick lightly as the garment was removed.
Then Cas pushed his hips upwards and their skin connected, sending pleasure
cursing through his veins. Castiel broke the kiss and moved slightly, reaching
above his head and Dean watched as he pulled condoms and lube out of a plastic
shopping bag. His thighs suddenly tightened around Dean's waist as he flipped
their positions and sat up to straddle the boy.
Dean was surprised when he got handed the condom, thinking that their new
positions meant he was going to be the one getting fucked, not the other way
around. He put the condom on and watched as Cas took the lube and began working
himself open, for Dean. It took a couple of minutes and Dean watched with
fascination as he itched to burry himself deep inside the other boy. Castiel
eventually finished getting himself ready and covered Dean's cock in the cool
substance as well. Their eyes connected and they stared at each other as Cas
began to lower himself onto his dick. Dean gasped and instantly grabbed his
waist. There was a moment where Cas stayed still, he just let his body adjust.
Then he began to move, expertly fucking himself on his dick. Dean bucked his
hips forwards, meeting thrust for thrust. The room filled with moans and shouts
of pleasure. The pace picked up as they began to near their release.
"Oh God,Cas! Yes!" Dean panted, he gripped his lover's thighs tightly and came
with a stream of the boy's name. Cas rocked on his cock a little more and
orgasmed as well. They fell against each other, extremely well-fucked, and
drifted off into sleep.
They didn't wake for another two hours until Castiel heard the sound of a car
pulling into his drive. He bolted upright, waking his boyfriend.
"Fuck" he whispered and removed Dean's flaccid cock from where it was still
buried in his ass with a wince. Then quickly grabbed their clothes and ran
upstairs with Dean in tow. They had just made it into his bedroom as the front
door slammed closed. They stared at each other for a moment and laughed.
Adrenaline ran through them at almost getting seen, they kissed passionately
and Cas removed the used condom from Dean's dick before throwing it in the bin.
His boyfriend in that moment looked fully-sexed, from the dishevelled hair to
the weakness in his movements and not to forget the dried cum on his chest and
stomach. He didn't need to look at himself to know that Dean wasn't the only
one who appeared that way.
"Want to join me in the shower?" he asked and Dean answered with a sloppy kiss.
                                   [] [] []
Dean had been going to that high school for just over three weeks when he got
the text. Jo, Ash, Kevin and Garth were sitting on the other side of the table,
Charlie was sitting to his left next to Balthazar and they were all arguing
over some TV show he'd never heard of before. Cas was sitting to his right and
they were laughing quietly at the ruckus. When he read the text, his heart
dropped into his stomach, Cas glanced at him and saw his expression.
"What's wrong?" He asked, which caught Charlie's attention. She turned and
looked at Dean, abandoning her argument. Dean lifted his head from his phone to
meet blue eyes before shaking his head, unable to think of the words.
"Dean?" Charlie asked worriedly. When he turned to meet her, her gaze hardened
"I know that face, Dean... It's the same face that you had on your first day"
Cas tilted his head in confusion at her tone and words but she carried on, "if
you do that... if you hurt Cas..." her words drifted off in a silent threat to
make him pay for running away and hurting her best friend. Dean just shook his
head.
"I... I wouldn't..." he whispered. Her gaze softened a little, he took a deep
breath. "My Dad's finished his job" he dropped his head from the confused faces
of his friends to look back at the text, "we're moving in a couple of days..."
there was a short pause and Cas was the first one to speak.
"But you've only been here a few weeks" Dean nodded.
"Can't you stay a bit longer?" Charlie asked, he looked up and into her eyes,
silently telling her that he wished he could.
"Does he know you've got end of year exams next week? Maybe if you tell him
then you could stay until they're over?" Jo suggested. Dean thought about it
for a second but realised that he couldn't give his Dad any reason to think he
liked it here if he wanted to come back and not get found. So instead he shook
his head. He turned towards Cas and had to swallow a lump in his throat at how
sad he looked. He reached out and grabbed his hand, just holding it. Castiel
looked at him in shock for a moment and gave a bittersweet smile.
"Would you mind if I kissed you?" Dean asked, shocking everyone at the table
"I thought that you didn't want anyone to know yet?"
"I don't think I care anymore. And I'm only here for a few more days... I don't
want to waste our time together" Cas smiled sadly before leaning over and
capturing Dean's lips with his own. Dean wrapped one arm around his waist,
holding him close. The kiss was short and sweet and they stayed in close
proximity to each other once it had ended, Dean's arm still around his waist.
After a while Dean and Cas decided they wanted to spend some time just the two
of them and so they left the cafeteria. As they got up Dean's arm dropped from
Cas's waist, deciding to hold his hand instead. They walked like that for
several minutes, both thinking about Dean moving away. Castiel noticed the
corridor that lead away from the hallway just ahead of them, it only had one
door leading off of it and that went to the Theatre. He smiled and pushed Dean
into the side corridor, he looked confused for a moment and then Cas pushed him
up against the wall, kissing him passionately. Dean melted into the kiss and
his hands found their way to his boyfriends waist, tugging him closer. Cas had
one hand in Dean's hair, pulling it lightly. The other hand was holding the
front of his shirt. He nibbled on Dean's lower lip, causing a moan which he
took advantage of, slipping his tongue in his mouth. Dean pulled away first
panting for air.
"Damn Cas" he breathed, his voice rough with lust, "I thought you were against
stuff like this in public"
"Normally, yes. But we don't have long left... I intend to have no regrets and
spend every second we are together as if we were alone" he leant down and
placed small sloppy kisses along Dean jaw.
"If we were alone then it wouldn't just end at kisses" Dean joked.
"I know" Cas replied without hesitation, his lips making their way down his
neck as his left hand dropped from Dean's shirt and travelled down to his
jeans, playing with the button. Dean let out a shaky breath. "What do you say?"
Cas whispered in his ear "want to miss next period?" Dean repositioned one of
his hands, moving it around to Cas's ass and giving it a squeeze.
"Hell yeah" they kissed for a moment and Cas hooked his finger in the loops of
Dean's jeans, leading them towards the Theatre door.
"Think you can pick the lock?" he asked while thinking back to their sixth date
where they had broken into the school swimming baths and gone skinny dipping in
the Hydrotherapy Pool. Dean chuckled and took a paper clip from his jacket
pocket. A few seconds later he had the door open, Cas grinned and pulled him
inside. They quickly disposed of their bags, jackets and shirts. Dean was
pushed down into a random seat and Cas knelt in front of him, beginning to undo
his jeans, but Dean stopped him.
"Cas, I don't want any regrets either..." he said softly, staring into blue
lust-blown eyes "I want to do everything with you" Cas stared for a moment
before understanding.
"You want to go all the way again?" Dean nodded, and Cas thought back to the
only other time they had done that "but this time...?" he let the question
trail off, Dean nodded again.
"If you want to"
He smiled and then went to his bag, pulling out the lube that he'd started
keeping there. Dean was now standing waiting for him, he grabbed Cas's waist
again and pulled them together. He worked to undo Castiel's trousers, pulling
them down to his ankles and kissing his way back up his thigh to his hip bone.
He placed one kiss to Cas's already throbbing dick and continued up his
stomach, he took the lube from his hands and applied a generous amount to his
boyfriend's pulsing lower member then removed his own jeans. The bell rang,
signalling the end of lunch and Dean panicked a little.
"You sure no-one's going to come in?" he asked, Cas nodded while covering his
fingers in lube and reaching around to Dean's ass. Dean jumped at the sensation
of them circling his entrance.
"Don't worry" Cas whispered, "Drama class have already had their exams... they
don't have to go to class anymore..." he stuck one finger inside Dean who
yelped at the feeling "shhh, it's okay. Don't tense, it'll hurt if you tense"
he spoke in a soothing voice, and succeeded in getting Dean to relax enough for
another finger to be added. He moved them inside of him to distribute the lube
and open him up. With his free hand he stroked lazily at Dean's crotch, keeping
him hard. Dean bit his lip, whether from pain or pleasure, Cas wasn't sure,
probably a combination of the two. He began to scissor his fingers before he
slipped in a third finger and Dean tightened against the pain.
Cas stopped stroking Dean's lower member and pushed his body against him
instead, getting as close as possible. He thrust his hips a little, causing a
moan from Dean who threw his head backwards. Cas repeated the action slowly and
leant to whisper in his boyfriends ear.
"That's right, loosen up for me" after a few seconds and more thrusts Dean
forced himself to accept Cas's fingers. He smiled and began to move them again,
this time going deeper in and making circling actions, searching for that
pleasure point. He knew the exact moment he hit it. Dean's back arched and he
threw back his head and let out a loud moan of ecstasy which had Cas's dick
humming. He moved his fingers in and out a few more times, hitting that point
with every inward movement before he withdrew his hand. Dean winced slightly.
"Are you sure?" Cas asked.
"Yes. Dear God yes" Dean breathed. They lay down on the floor, with Cas between
his legs. He angled his dick at the entrance and pushed his head in. Dean
tensed again so Cas brought up one hand, running it through his hair.
"Relax, Dean" he whispered and pushed further until he was completely inside
him. Cas aloud Dean several seconds to adjust, taking the hand that was in his
hair and rubbing Dean's lower member in encouragement. Once Dean was fully hard
again, Cas let go of him and started to move. There were a few half pleasured
half pained sounds escaping Dean as Cas looked for that sweet spot.
"Cas" Dean groaned when he found it, shivering and panting heavily underneath
him. He groaned and repeated the action. Both of them gasped and moaned each
others names loudly as he continued. Dean was so tight around him and he
couldn't help but think how perfect it felt. Cas lowered his mouth to Dean's
chest and started kissing and biting at the boy beneath him as they moved
together. He licked at his nipple lightly and was rewarded with a loud groan
which bounced off the walls. He moved faster, pushing harder against Dean's
prostate, causing a deep shiver which felt so goodaround his dick. He felt his
orgasm nearing and pushed faster still.
"I'm... I'm close" Dean's shouted.
"Me too" Cas replied and dropped his head, meeting Dean's lips with his own in
a sloppy kiss. Dean's arms gripped his hips with such force as he came between
them. And the sight of seeing his lover come undone brought Cas tumbling over
the edge as well, he gasped out Dean's name as he emptied himself into his ass
and collapsed on top of him. Dean brought up his arms around his boyfriend and
held him.
"That was amazing" Dean whispered into his ear and Cas nodded enthusiastically.
They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. They looked into
each others eyes and shared a soft warm kiss, both content. That had been
something so different then Dean had ever experienced, it wasn't just sex. It
was so much more. The best description he could think of was making-love.
                                   [] [] []
Dean spent the next three days squeezing out every last bit of time he had to
spend with his friends or alone with Cas. Before he used to appreciate a few
hours by himself but not anymore.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, signalling that he received a text.
From: Dad
Received: 1:45pm
At the motel now. Will pick up Sam after School. Pick you up at half 4
Tears threatened to fall and he knew his time was up. He carried on with his
lessons as normal but the second that he walked into Math, his boyfriend knew
something was wrong. He told them that he was leaving and they spent the lesson
not revising as they'd been told to, but instead trying to get the most out of
Dean's last lesson. When the bell rang Charlie gave him a teary hug and
announced she would walk home to give them some time. They were both incredibly
thankful for this.
Dean and Cas slowly walked out to the car park and sat on the curb, waiting for
his Dad to show.
"You know, Cas. I'm going to miss you so much" his boyfriend nodded, not able
to communicate past the lump in his throat. "You were my first real
relationship and I'll never forget you" his chest constricted as he spoke. He
wanted to say he'd come back and they'd be together again, because that was the
plan, but in the words of Mick Jagger 'you can't always get what you want'. He
didn't dare speak his plan out loud, in fear that it would go wrong.
"I will miss you too, Dean. Very much" tears spilled from blue eyes and Dean
stroked his thumb over the boys cheeks to catch them. They both leant forward
and shared a saddened kiss, a kiss that had the potential for real love. Then
Dean heard a sound that he had never thought would make him feel so depressed.
He went to get up as he heard the Impala on the road next to the student car
park but his boyfriend's hands caught him and they kissed for a moment longer
before breaking apart.
"Don't forget me" Dean whispered.
"Never" he promised. Then he watched as Dean got up and walked towards the old
black car, he didn't turn to look back over his shoulder. And Cas realised in
that moment that he finally knew heartbreak.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Seven long months past as Dean waited for his time to leave. He tried to make a
life for himself everywhere he went, but it wasn't the same, he missed that
town, he missed the friends he'd made, and most of all he missed Castiel. They
tried to keep in touch but found it more painful to do so as the months rolled
on. By the time September had come around, they had stopped talking completely.
But that didn't mean that he didn't think about the boy every day, it was crazy
just how much he'd fallen for him. He came across a theology text book that
contained nothing but information on Angels and found Castiel's name in it, he
stuck a blue post-it note on the page as a bookmark. He also found a blue
winter scarf and sent them both inside a box with a card to Castiel's home
address, making a request for it to be delivered to his house on the 18th
September, his birthday. That was the last contact he made and even though Cas
text him a couple of times after that day, he didn't respond to any of them.
It was the middle of December when his father announced his plan for their
first hunting trip as a family. Dean had pretended to love the idea while
telling his Dad not to tell Sam and to put bringing them with him off until
Christmas, saying it would be an amazing present for his little brother. His
Dad had of course been thrilled with the idea and agreed so the next time he
left for a hunt Dean took the opportunity to run.
"Why are we leaving?" Sam asked after being woken up, "we just got here
yesterday..." the youngest Winchester seemed to think something over in his
head. "Is there something here? Is Dad in trouble?" Dean was silent and Sam
gasped, "we can't leave Dean! Dad's in trouble, he needs our help!"
"Dad doesn't fight monsters Sam" he whispered.
"What are you talking about?" he looked into his little brother's eyes.
"Dad needs help, yes. But it's psychiatric help that he needs..."
"No... that's not true. Dad's a hero, he saves lives! You told me yourself"
"Because that's what he had told me... I'm sorry Sam but we can't stay with him
anymore"
"So what? We're just going to run off and hide from the truth"
"We're going to live a normal life" Sam looked a small bit hopeful at that, "no
more running, no more moving around, no more insanity..."
"Are you sure? Are you sure he's lying about this? he whispered.
"He's not lying Sam. He really does believe what he's told us... that's what
makes him dangerous to be around. He's either going to get us killed or turn us
crazy as well. But trust me when I say that he's wrong about it all"
"How do you know?" Dean took a deep breath, sat down and told his brother
everything. Sam nodded his head as tears slipped from his eyes and only an hour
later they were on their way. Dean hotwired an old Ford Mustang and drove
towards the one place he knew he could be happy.
                                   [] [] []
Cas had thought about Dean all the time. It was stupid, he'd only known the boy
for four weeks, yet he might have fallen in love with him. He longed for those
texts they had sent, yet they made him so incredibly upset afterwards because
he probably will never see him again. As time went on he felt worse and worse
until he knew that they couldn't carry on like this. They both slowly stopped
communicating and Cas started to get better. But then he decided that Dean
hadn't stopped texting him because it hurt too much, more like he'd found
someone else and had forgotten about him.
The thought hit him like a baseball bat in the stomach. He got worse from there
on. Charlie had gotten to the point of trying to force him into an alcohol
binge. But, even though Dean had moved on, he couldn't bring himself to try to
as well. His actions and days turned automatic and he found himself not caring
for anything anymore. Then it was his birthday, he went downstairs like every
other school day and had breakfast.
"Happy Birthday!" His family shouted at him as he walked towards them. Anna,
who had obviously come over to celebrate gave him a hug which he didn't move to
reciprocate. They all smiled at him fakely , trying not to look worried. He sat
down at the table and ate his cereal.
"I thought I asked for you to not make a fuss" Cas muttered.
"Like we could do that" Gabe said "not for my favourite little brother"
"I'm your only little brother"
"Come on, open your presents" Anna sang. He looked at her and sighed.
"Later. I'm going to school"
"Have the day off" Gabe said.
"No"
"Then let me drive you" said Michael.
"I'm fine"
He left minutes later and his family sat down, they knew they had to help him
but didn't know how to do it. When Castiel got back home there was a package
sitting on the coffee table.
"It's for you" Luke said and he nodded but just sat down on the sofa and read a
book. Non of his family pushed him to do anything else for the rest of the day.
Anna came over again after school and ended up just sitting around and watching
TV until she left at eight to go home, Michael and Luke both retired for bed a
couple of hours later and, as always, Gabe stayed up for as late as possible to
keep him company before passing out asleep on the other sofa.
It was around three in the morning when he finally decided to go to bed. He got
up and placed his book on the coffee table next to the parcel. He went to walk
off upstairs when a word caught his eye. 'Winchester'. He turned and read the
return label on the package. It had been sent by Dean. He fell back onto the
sofa and started ripping away the tape. The noise startled Gabriel awake and he
turned to watch. Silent tears ran down Castiel's face, whether because he was
sad or happy, he wasn't too sure. He tore into the box and picked up the card,
he smiled and opened it. He didn't really read what it said at first, just
stared at the messy script on the page.
To Cas,
 Happy Birthday blue eyes.
 I know we haven't talked in a while and I'm not even sure if you want to hear
from me but I saw these when I was in New York last month and they reminded me
of you. You might not even like them but I couldn't help but buy them. I hope
your well.
  Love Dean xx
Cas let out a happy laugh, and Gabe smiled, trying to not let on that he was
watching in case Cas's mood changed. The boy looked into the box and took out a
scarf. It was thick and made of soft wool, not that scratchy kind that would
irritate his skin. It was a dark blue with threads of brighter blue weaved in.
He placed it to one side and took out the last item. Seeing the Theology text
book surprised him, then he flicked to the page that was book-marked with a
post-it note and smiled when he saw his namesake angel. He realised that he
never knew anything about the mythical creature he was named after and started
to read, he eventually fell asleep on the sofa with his new book in hand.
Gabriel got up and pulled a blanket over his brother before going to bed.
His birthday had been the turning point for Cas, he was feeling like his old
self again because he knew that Dean still cared. He'd text him to say thank
you and that of course he wanted to hear from him. He never got a reply but he
wasn't really expecting one either. The next day his sister came around again
in the morning to see if he was okay and everyone but Gabe had been shocked by
his new attitude towards them. They brought out the cake they had stashed in
the fridge and everyone acted like the day before hadn't happened and that this
was his real birthday.
Everything just seemed to return to normal, including his sleeping patterns. He
no-longer felt the need to avoid sleep, he wasn't even sure why he did so in
the first place other than he just wanted to. He still had the occasional bad
day but they were getting less frequent now, and he discovered that all he had
to do was to spend some time looking at the things Dean had sent him to feel
better. And now it was the middle of December and it was getting cold and windy
he was able to wear the scarf all the time.
The 5th of December was a Thursday and Charlie no-longer got a lift home with
him on Thursdays because of the 'Robotics Club' that she had now joined. So
that is why Cas was alone when he walked to his car after the end of school. He
was keeping his eyes on the snow-covered ground as he trudged along and so it
took him a while to notice the figure that was leaning against his Ford. He
stopped walking as he caught sight of black biker boots. Castiel slowly lifted
his gaze and looked at the boy, their eyes met and they just stood and stared
at each other for a moment before he marched towards him, took his face in his
hand and pulled their lips together. The boy laughed and hugged him closer.
They stayed that way for a while, just standing in the cold snow and getting
reacquainted. The kiss turned into kisses. They only stopped to catch their
breath and they leant their foreheads together.
"How long are you back for?" he whispered, mentally preparing himself for
Dean's answer.
"We're staying" he pulled his head back in shock and looked into the other boys
eyes which at the moment were more of a brown than a green.
"You promise?"
"Yes" Dean smiled and kissed him gently. Cas's phone started vibrating in his
pocket and he reluctantly pulled away to answer the call.
"What?" he asked and the voice at the other end sighed in annoyance and relief.
"Where are you?" Luke asked.
"Still at school, why?"
"Because you're usually home twenty minutes ago. We were getting worried" Cas
checked his watch and saw that he was right, they'd been making out for the
past half an hour.
"Oh"
"Why are you still at school"
"Long story. I'll tell you when I get home" then he disconnected the call and
put the phone back in his pocket. He turned back to Dean. "Have you got to be
anywhere?"
"Nope"
"Want to have dinner at my house?" Dean nodded and brought them together for
one last kiss before they got inside the car and drove away.
                                   [] [] []
Luke heard his little brother's car pull into their drive and sighed once more
in relief. The months that he'd spent acting depressed were still fresh in
everyone's mind and they still worried that the tiniest thing could reverse his
progress. So, when he rushed to the front door and saw Cas walk in with Dean by
his side he got very concerned. His brother had only just gotten better and
Dean showing up and leaving again could very well put Cas back at the
beginning.
"Dean" he said in acknowledgement and Gabriel instantly paused his video game.
He shot out of the living room and into the hallway to see for himself. Dean
stood in the doorway, not sure how to proceed. Gabriel smiled warmly at him.
"Hey Dean-o. How long you back for?"
"I'm staying" he replied happily with a smile of his own. After that both
brothers felt better and let Cas and Dean go upstairs. Cas walked into his
bedroom with Dean close behind him. Dean looked around the room happily, he had
missed spending his time huddled up here with Cas, not necessarily having sex
but just being in each other's company. Not much had changed in the months that
he'd been gone. There was two shelves on the far wall where Cas liked to keep
small photo albums that held photos from birthdays and Christmas's and anything
else he deemed important enough to be reminded of. His bookcase, that almost
took up the space of a whole wall was now nearly full, Cas had obviously bought
many books in the past seven months. Cas's desk was still by the window and his
laptop and angel figure were now joined by the Theology book he'd bought him.
His CD stand, where he kept all his music, no-longer had CD's pilling up on top
of it as well as in the slots because he had a second one which was now half
full as well, meaning he'd bought a lot more music over the months as well.
Dean caught a glimpse of some albums that he recognised as Metallica and
Nirvana, but he decided to wait until later to get a closer look.
"So what do you want to do before dinner" the taller boy asked and Castiel
answered by pulling him into an instantly passionate kiss. The two collapsed of
the bed with Cas straddling him and moaned into one another's mouths.
"Cas" Dean panted as his jeans were unzipped. "Hey... we've got all the time in
the world. We don't have to rush"
"I've just missed you so much" he said as he began to bite and suck at the neck
of the boy beneath him.
"I've missed you too... but your family is down stairs" he mulled this over and
nodded.
"Then I guess we're just going to have to be quiet" he removed his scarf and
trench coat as well as Dean's jacket while the boy underneath him worked at
taking off their shirts. Once he'd fully unbutton Cas's grey shirt he stopped
and stared into the boy's eyes.
"You look so incredibly hot in that" Dean said, noting the 'Big Balls' AC/DC t-
shirt that Cas was wearing under his normal attire. The boy with blue eyes
smiled down at him and rocked his hips making Dean gasp out a moan. Dean slid
his hands under the black shirt and slowly pulled off. The delicateness in his
movements left Cas's skin tingling where he'd touched it. He moved off him just
far enough to dispose of the rest of their clothes. Dean took an opportunity to
flip them over so he was now on top. Cas leant back on his elbows and Dean
kneeled above his waist, straddling the older boy.
He draped himself over Cas and kissed his swollen lips, his hands moved over
his chest and down to his abdomen before settling on his hips. He moved after a
moment to sit back up and grasp the twitching cock of the boy beneath him and
began to stroke. Cas's copied his actions and after a few moments they were
both stroking and grinding into each other. The fiction built and they found it
incredibly hard to not scream out the others names in pleasure, Cas moaned
quietly as he released in Dean's hand and Dean followed him not long after,
tilting his head backwards and biting his lips to keep him from moaning too
loudly. They lay down together and smiled sleepily while sharing soft and
intimate kisses.
An hour later Gabriel went upstairs to tell them dinner was done, he knocked on
the bedroom door and opened it to find Dean lying naked on top of his little
brother, both fast asleep. He closed his eyes immediately and ran out of the
room, screaming about there not being enough brain bleach in the world. He
spent the rest of the night avoiding both of them. Dean decided that he had to
get back to his brother and so after dinner Cas drove him to the motel.
"Your staying here?" Cas asked him, concerned and Dean nodded.
"Just until we find somewhere more permanent" he'd decided to tell him where he
was really staying to stop him from being suspicious about never going to his
home, "it might take a while, but it's not all that bad here" Cas nodded,
wanting to offer that he could stay with him for a while but realised that was
probably a bad idea, especially since he didn't yet know what their
relationship was yet. Dean leant over and kissed him goodbye but paused before
leaving.
"I've got a new number. I'll text it to you"
"Does Charlie know that you're here yet?" He shook his head. "Good" Cas smirked
evilly, "I want to see her reaction"
 
***** Chapter 10 *****
Charlie noticed on the drive to school that Castiel was in a good mood but he'd
told her that he'd simply had a good nights sleep. So they got out of the car
and walked towards the side entrance to the reception. Dean hid behind a wall,
waiting for Charlie to come close enough then he quietly walked up to her when
she was facing the other way.
"Hello my Queen" he said in her ear. Making her jump and spin around. Her eyes
went wide and she grinned at him.
"Dean!" she pulled him into a hug and he laughed, picking her off the floor
slightly and putting her back down. "How long are you staying?" Dean laughed a
little, realising that had been the first thing everyone had said to him so
far.
"For good..." she grinned more and squealed happily.
"Oh my God! Seriously? How?"
"My Dad decided that I was old enough to be able look after Sammy by my self
when he was away, instead of dragging us both everywhere. So I insisted on
moving back here" She pulled him into another hug. "It's good to see you too,
Charlie" Cas chuckled to himself at his best friend and she turned and hit him
on the arm.
"That's for not telling me" then she returned to look at Dean to ask more
questions but the bell rang and Charlie frowned. "Have you got your timetable
yet?" he produced the slip of paper from his pocket and showed her, she beamed
down at it. "Yay! You're in the same classes as last year"
He smiled and placed a small kiss on Cas's lips as a goodbye before she pulled
him off to computing. Dean sat at the same computer he had done before and the
two boys next to him looked his way.
"Thank God your back Dean!" Charlie said in a taunting voice while looking at
the boys, "without you here and with Ash being anti-social when ever it comes
to computers, I've been having to talk to Ed and Harry..."
"Love you too" Harry replied then they turned back to their conversation about
'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. Charlie giggled and part of her wanted to talk
about the show as well but she was dying to ask Dean about his last seven
months and so that's what she did. By the time he left for Gym he felt like
he'd been in an interrogation for the last hour. After Gym he met up with
Charlie and Cas for break and then it was Math. The lesson was in the same room
but unlike in Computing everyone had changed seats. They were still sitting in
the back of the room but on the other side and this time Jo was with them. She
smiled at him as she sat down, having heard he was back from Ash at break time.
Then it was time for Lunch and the four of them walked into the cafeteria just
catching up on what they'd been up to since he'd been gone. They sat on a table
with Ash, Garth, Balthazar, Kevin and the girl with cropped black hair that
Garth sits next to in Biology. He introduced her as Tessa, his girlfriend and
couldn't stop giggling happily for almost three minutes.
English was next and so Charlie showed him to their new room and managed to
persuade some people to swap seats so that he could sit with her, Kevin and
Becky. When he got in the room he looked around for Lisa, hoping to talk to her
but couldn't find her. Instead he found Bela and her friend Chelsea staring at
him and talking. 'Subtle' he thought to himself and then turned back to his
friends and the book that he'd been given, 'Of Mice and Men'... luckily he'd
already done this book in a different school and so he knew how to get a good
grade without really having to try.
In Latin, Cas and Balthazar were on his table with Jo, Kevin and Garth. He sat
down and took his boyfriend's hand, just holding it for the rest of the lesson,
Meg might have been giving him daggers but he never really looked. Dean's last
lesson was Biology and he was thankful that he could just sit on a table by
himself, behind Benny. The rest of his day had been spent surrounded by people
and so it was a pleasant change for one lesson to not have to answer a million
questions.
Cas gave him a lift to the middle school and he walked his brother home. Dean
still hadn't told Sam about him being Bi yet and so they didn't kiss goodbye
like they usually would have. He wasn't sure why he hadn't told him, he knew
that Sam was pretty open minded and wouldn't think of him any differently but
Dean just didn't know how to say it. Sam smiled as they walked to their motel
room.
"You enjoy your first day?" Dean asked.
"Hell yeah! I mean... we are actually staying" Dean ruffled his younger
brothers hair and laughed. Their lives were on the way to being good and he
figured that maybe, just maybe, they could be normal too. But, then again, when
is he ever that lucky.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Over the next few days Dean fell back into a pattern; walk Sam to his school,
meet Charlie and Cas at his own school gates, spend half an hour with everyone
at lunch and half an hour alone with Cas in the library, get a lift to Sam's
school, walk him home. It felt good. And then he got himself a job as a
mechanic, working Monday, Wednesday and Thursday after school as well as all
day Saturday. It was good job and gave him enough to pay for living costs
without having to use fake credit cards.
But, it did mean that between his job and spending time with Cas that he didn't
see as much of Sam. At first he'd been worried about leaving him alone so much
but instead of complain, his little brother had chosen to spend time with his
school friends. Dean's life was going good, that is until he was cornered after
English by Bela and Chelsea on Friday. They had told him that Lisa desperately
needed to talk to him and that he should go to her house after school. They
hadn't said anything else. When he asked his friends in Latin about Lisa they
told him that her mum had forced her to be home schooled. And so when Dean
arrived at her house that afternoon at half five, he wasn't really sure what to
expect. He knocked on the door and waited, a few seconds later and Lisa opened
the door.
The first thing that his mind supplied for him was that she got fat. But, after
a second he realised that that wasn't right, she was pregnant.
"Hey Dean" she smiled weakly at his shocked features.
"Lisa..." she moved away from the door and gestured that he go inside. "So this
is why you're not at school anymore" she nodded and closed the front door.
"Yeah, once I started to show my mum made me get home school. She won't even
let me tell anyone. I mean it's not like no-one's going to find out eventually,
but she insists on keeping it a secret. Only you, Chelsea and Bela know. Dean's
mind raced, they had been friends but she'd been a lot closer with other people
than Dean... so there was only one explanation as to why she was telling him.
He wanted to ask, but he couldn't find the words. So instead he beat around the
bush.
"How far along are you?"
"Almost eight months" Dean mentally did the maths and kept re-doing it in his
head... always coming up with the same answer. "I don't know if he's yours,"
she said, answering his unspoken question. "I had a thing with this guy a day
or so before we met" he nodded, dumbly. He was in shock and didn't know what to
do. They both sat down in silence for a little bit.
"So... is there a test or something we can do..." Lisa nodded.
"Yes. Actually, that's why my mum let you come around and find out. She's
booking a paternity test at the doctors..."
"Right..." his mind was numb, he didn't know what else to say so they just sat
there for a bit longer. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"A boy"
"So... you're keeping him?" Lisa nodded, "okay..." Dean swallowed past a lump
in his throat. He knew what he needed to tell her but he wasn't sure if he
could. He was only sixteen for God's sake… he looked up at her and nodded to
himself, he couldn't just run away from this. "If he's mine… I… I think I
should be in his life. You know if that's okay with you" he muttered. And Lisa
let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and nodded, it was a relief
to know that if Dean was the Dad that he'd be there for her and her son. A
moment later a tall brunette woman walked into the room, she glared at him.
"I've got an appointment booked for tomorrow at 3pm" Dean nodded, he was
supposed to be at work until 4pm, but he could finish early. Lisa's mum showed
him out of her home with a scowl on her face. He walked back to the motel and
stood for a while, then turned away and headed for Castiel's house instead.
                                   [] [] []
The youngest Novak grinned when he opened his front door to find his boyfriend.
He knew that Dean was coming over but thought he'd be another hour; so he was
not only surprised but very happy to see him. However, once he noticed the look
on Dean's face his smile faltered.
"What's wrong?" he asked while stepping back to allow him inside his house.
"Nothing.. it's just..." Dean stopped and looked around to see if anyone was
listening.
"No-one else is home, though Luke should be back from work soon" Dean nodded.
"Lisa's pregnant" Cas's eyes widened at the news but he was still confused as
to why Dean was upset. Then after a second he remembered they had dated, it had
been so long ago and lasted such a short time that he'd forgotten all about it.
His mouth dropped open with an audible 'pop'.
"Is it... yours?"
"She's going to take a paternity test tomorrow" There was a few moments of
awkward silence. "God Cas, I don't know what to do" Dean dropped his head in
his hands and leant back against a wall and Cas pulled his boyfriend into a
hug, savouring it as though it would be their last. Because if Dean was the
father then he knew he would do right by the kid and by Lisa. Dean liked Lisa
and they had been good together. It made sense that if he was going to have a
family then he would do it right, he'd probably break up with Cas and marry
her. And that thought broke his heart, to think that he'd just got Dean back
only to have him pulled away again. But if it comes to that then he wouldn't
complain or make it hard for him, he'd encourage Dean to do what he thought was
right.
After a couple of minutes the two boys moved to sit on the sofa in the living
room, Dean grabbed his hand and they just sat in silence for a while.
"What did your Dad say?"
"I haven't told him. This is the first place I came" Dean didn't mention that
those two facts actually had nothing to do with each other.
"You should tell him"
"I will, but right now I was just hoping to stay with you" Cas smiled warmly
and put a film on. Dean wasn't really sure what the film was because he wasn't
paying attention.
                                   [] [] []
It took a week for the results of the test to get back. Dean got picked up from
the garage where he worked by Mrs Braeden at 4pm on Saturday 21st of December
and she drove him and Lisa to the hospital. Dean wasn't looking forward to
knowing the answer, he wanted to be part of this child's life because Lisa was
his friend, but he didn't want to be it's father. Not only would he not be able
to afford it but he wasn't ready to be a father; and if this last week was
anything to go by then it would probably end up breaking up him and Cas. It
wasn't like they had been fighting or anything, Cas had been very supportive
for him. But he thought that Dean would leave him if he ended up being the Dad
and so he'd been a bit cut off and sad. Charlie figured out that something was
wrong straight away and after a few days was able to wrangling the truth about
Lisa out of them. Her and Cas were the only people he'd told, he wanted to tell
Sammy but didn't want to bother him with his troubles until they were
confirmed.
The car pulled up in the patients car park at the hospital and Dean's stomach
began to churn quietly. He was so nervous about what that piece of paper would
say. His foreseeable future was going to be decided by the results and he felt
sick thinking that everything he'd worked for might go wrong. He took a deep
breath and got out the car before helping Lisa out as well.
They walked in a nervous silence to the desk and waited for the nurse to find
the right envelope; the tension was so thick that he felt like he was going to
start chocking on it. A big white envelope was passed to Lisa and they wandered
to the seating area, Dean sat one side of the former-cheerleader while her mum
sat on the other and they both waited as she took out a sheet of paper and
opened it to see the results. He leant closer to see what it said, scanning
through a lot of medical information and looking for the simplified sentence
that would say whether or not he was the Dad. He eventually saw it at the
bottom of a long paragraph... he wasn't the father.
                                   [] [] []
Cas had been informed by Dean that he was getting the results after work today
and so he had forced his family out of the house and to the cinema, knowing
they would need somewhere to talk privately. At five o'clock there was a knock
on the front door and Cas took a few seconds to ready himself for the news.
Dean stood on his door step as white fluffs of snow drifted down from the sky
and nestled into his hair, making it a shade or two darker. His eyes glowed a
beautiful green against his olive skin and he looked a little flushed from the
cold. He was grinning, making his eyes crinkle in that adorable way. Cas was
struck by awe at the amazing sight and his heart skipped a beat.
"I'm not the Dad" he said and that broke down the only thing restraining Cas.
He pushed forwards and kissed his boyfriend who instantly wrapped his arms
around him and pulled him closer. They stayed like that for minutes until Cas
was too cold without a jacket to stay outside. He backed off and pulled his
boyfriend inside. He immediately began to unzip Dean's jacket for him.
"Aren't you warm in all those clothes" Cas whispered and Dean laughed.
"No warmer than you are"
"Then you must be boiling" he slipped his hand down to Dean's jeans and
unzipped them while placing sloppy kisses down his neck. Dean gasped and
chuckled breathlessly.
"As much as I'd love to take you right now... don't you remember how close we
were to getting caught last time we had sex down here" he whispered and Cas
smiled fondly at the memory, nodding. He removed his hand from the band of his
boyfriend's boxers and slipped it into Dean's hand, he walked upstairs to his
room with Dean close behind.
They kissed again, this time slower and more passionate. Dean's tongue licked
at Cas's cracked lips before deepening the kiss further. He gently licked at
the roof of his mouth and brushed their tongues together, causing deep moans
from them both. Cas's hands wandered up Dean's waist and hooked under his shirt
before pulling it off him, then he began to trace the lines of his six-pack.
Dean also removed Cas's shirt but stopped at the AC/DC one underneath it. He
smiled at him.
"When did you get this anyway?" he whispered.
"I saw it in a shop about a month after you left and it reminded me of you"
"Because of my 'big balls'?" Dean laughed as he quoted the name of the song
written on the shirt and he kissed softly at Cas's jaw. "Have you listened to
the song" he asked as he ran his fingers threw the dark brown mop of his
boyfriend's hair and Cas nodded, pulling him in for another deliciously long
kiss.
"It's... interesting" Cas whispered as he panted for oxygen and they laughed
light-heartedly together. Dean resumed his kissing at Cas's jaw line. "It's
funny"
"Yeah, it is" Dean mumbled against his boyfriend's skin, causing him to gasp.
"I think I prefer that singer to the more recent one" he said through pants of
pleasure, Dean began to unbutton his boyfriend's trousers.
"Hmm" Dean mumbled in thought, very much enjoying talking about one of his
favourite bands while in such an intimate moment. He realised that Cas was
probably doing it on purpose, knowing Dean would enjoy it. "Most people prefer
Johnson to Scott, not the other way around" he said before their lips met
again, this time they were both getting fairly hard and the kiss was sloppier,
both their trousers fell to their ankles and they kicked them off. When the
kiss was broken they were panting heavily, all talk about music forgotten and
Dean got pushed onto the bed. Cas hovered above him before his eye caught sight
of his camera. He stopped his actions and looked down at the boy beneath him
with a cheeky smile on his face.
"Do you remember the other day Charlie was talking about that sex tape that was
found by one of her favourite actors?" Dean nodded wordlessly, looking up and
Cas with dark lust-blown eye and red kissable lips, "... well, I think I've got
an idea"
Chapter End Notes
     I hope you guys don't think I rushed the Lisa story, I wanted to add
     it in but I thought it might be a bit needless to stretch it over
     more than one chapter since the whole thing of whether or not Dean
     was Ben's father was handled on the show.
***** Chapter 12 *****
"Hey" he whispers.
"Hello" Cas leaned in for a gentle kiss for a moment even with the morning
breath and smiles back at his boyfriend, "do you have any plans today"
"I was going to spend it with Sam so he's not by himself" Cas frowned and Dean
realised he screwed up, he mentally cursed how beautiful the man in front of
him was, making him forget even the simplest lies, "my Dad's out of town on a
job. He should be back soon though" Cas nodded.
"Well, me and Charlie are going to go Christmas shopping; do you and Sam want
to come?"
"That'd be great" he grinned, "though I haven't told him yet that I'm Bi…" Cas
nodded in understanding, it had taken him a long time to come out to his family
as well.
"I'll have to have a talk to Charlie and tell her to keep quiet then, but I
don't think that'll be a problem." The pair slowly got out of bed and changed
before padding downstairs for breakfast. Gabriel was the only one of Cas's
brothers downstairs and he winked at them as he sat at the kitchen table and
took a long sip from a mug. Dean smelt the waft of hot chocolate and his mouth
watered.
"Hey Dean-o" he said and smiled at Dean's obvious reaction to the drink. "Want
me to make you a cup?"
"Don't except that offer" Cas warned before Dean had chance to say anything.
"He puts so much sugar in it that it'll rot your teeth on the spot" he
continued with a shake of his head and an eye roll at Gabriel's laughter. Dean
eyed Gabe suspiciously, trying to figure out if it was the truth, when Cas
moved past him to the cupboard and pulled out the box of hot chocolate sachets.
"I'll make you one" he said as he went through the flavours, pulled out a white
chocolate and handed the box to Dean to choose his flavour, he went with
Belgium Chocolate.
"Thanks" he said softly and planted a warm kiss on Cas's cheek as he handed the
box back. Then he moved to sit opposite Gabriel at the kitchen table.
"So, what are you and Cassie doing today?" Gabe asked and Cas sighed at the use
of his most-hated nickname.
"Christmas shopping with Charlie and Sam" Dean said with a polite smile.
"Where are Michael and Luke?" Cas asked Gabriel as the kettle boiled and he
poured the water into his and Dean's mugs.
"I think they went to Anna's" Cas poured milk into their hot chocolates and put
them on the table as he sat next to Dean. Dean thanked him with a kiss and they
held hands under the table. Gabriel looked at them for a moment and rolled his
eyes, they were silent for a few seconds. It was still a bit awkward around
Gabe since he'd walked in on them after sex. Cas didn't seem to notice. Gabriel
finished his hot chocolate and left the kitchen after a couple minutes and Dean
kissed Cas.
"What was that for?"
"Just because I can" Dean smiled and went back to sipping his drink. They
decided to grab breakfast at the shopping centre and so after ten minutes they
were getting in the car. It was cold and they put the heating on full blast for
several minutes. Cas stopped by Charlie's house to pick her up and she grinned
when she found out that Dean and Cas were better again, nodding to their
requirements for the day. Dean jumped out of the car when it pulled into the
motel, then dived back in for a long kiss before walking into his motel room.
"Sammy? You up?" Sam came out of the small kitchen with a bag of crisps.
"I'm here"
"Good, go get ready to go out. We're going Christmas shopping with a couple of
friends" Sam smiled and put down the pack of crisps before rushing to get
changed out of his pyjamas. Three minutes later he grabbed his snack from where
he'd left it and they left to sit in the small blue car. Charlie had moved to
sit in the front seat where he'd been sitting and when he sat in the back seat
behind Cas he tapped her on the shoulder.
"If the Queen wished to perch in shotgun, all she had to doeth was ask" Charlie
turned and stuck her tongue out at him while Cas chuckled. "Very lady-like my
Queen" she smiled and turned to Sam instead as Cas pulled out of the car park.
"Hey Sam, I'm Charlie and this is Cas"
"Hello" Cas said to him.
"Hey"
The drive there took about half an hour and was fairly harmless, everyone
seemed to get along well. Sam asked why Dean called Charlie a Queen which led
to the pair having a long conversation on which Tolkien book was better, they
never came to a decision but both agreed that the Hobbit book in general was
better than any from the series of Lord of the Rings books. Dean smiled at his
geeky brother and honorary sister as they all got out the car. Cas threaded his
fingers through his for a moment when Sam was still on the other side and Dean
winked at him before they let go and walked towards the shopping centre.
                                   [] [] []
Dean and Cas chose to spend Christmas Day with their families and so didn't see
each other again until the 26th, even then it was only for an hour because he
didn't want to leave Sam alone for too long.
"Hey Cas" Dean said as he got into his boyfriend's car, who greeted him with a
kiss and then slowly began to pull out of the car park.
"Hello Dean. How was your Christmas Day? I'm sure it was nice to be with your
Father" Dean winced slightly at having to lie to his boyfriend again.
"Yeah, it was great. He's only got a couple of days off work though so he'll be
leaving again tomorrow. How was your day?"
"I'm sorry to hear that. My day was good thank you"
"Neh, it's fine"
"Will he be back for New Years" Dean shook his head.
"Probably not, my Dad isn't too big on holidays. So we never actually
celebrated New Years"
"Oh. Well, would you like to this year? I'm usually with my family, but we
could do something different… Just the two of us" Cas smirked a little bit and
Dean grinned in response.
"Yeah. That'd be great" a few minutes later they were pulling into The
Roadhouse car park. Cas pulled into a space and turned the car off; he grabbed
his messenger bag from the backseat and got out the car. Dean followed behind
with his white carrier bag. Jo's Mother greeted them with a smile as they
walked into the back room for their date.
They no-longer needed to use this room because they'd long ago come out with
their relationship, the only people who didn't know were Dean's family. But
they liked the privacy they got here, they could just talk and be alone with
each other which was normally hard, and impossible at Christmas. They weren't
there to have dinner, just to spend time together and so they sat on the brown
sofa.
"Merry Christmas, Cas" Dean said as he gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek and
handed over the carrier bag. Cas smiled sweetly and pulled out a small box. The
wrapping was done crudely and parts were a little bit torn, he carefully
removed the paper to reveal a black cardboard ring box. He looked up at Dean's
green eyes and then back down to the box as he opened it. There was a yellow-
gold ring inside that was a similar style to a sovereign ring. A warrior angel
was carved onto the gold top and stood proudly in a field, brandishing an odd
blade. Cas removed it from the box and saw his name engraved in the gold circle
surrounding the coin.
"Dean… this is… it's too much"
"Don't be ridiculous. You're worth every penny" their eyes met and Castiel
smiled lightly, "I mean, if you don't like it then I can get you something
else. I just figured you were into that whole, mythology, God, Angels stuff and
so…" Dean's rant was interrupted as his boyfriend kissed him. When the kiss
ended they were both smiling.
"I love it" Cas said as he put it on his middle finger on his right hand. Then
he looked at it for a moment, nodded once and reached into his messenger bag to
remove an envelope which he gave to Dean. Dean removed the sellotape that was
holding it together and quickly pulled out the tickets inside. He looked at
them for a second and burst into a smile.
"Iron Maiden tickets?! I thought these were sold out"
"eBay" he informed his boyfriend before he got pulled into a bear hug.
"These are awesome Cas! You're the best boyfriend ever!" Cas chuckled and
hugged him back.
                                   [] [] []
Dean was waiting for Cas on the Roadhouse porch when Jo's Mum appeared.
"Hey, honey. Where's that sweet guy of yours?"
"Hello Mrs Harvelle. He's gone to the toilet"
"Oh, please. Call me Ellen" Dean nodded. "What's your name again sweetie?"
"Dean Winchester" Ellen's smile faltered and there was a moment of complete
silence which he swore that she flinched away.
"Winchester? Right… okay… well, I best be getting back to work." the look she
directed at Dean held hidden emotions as she walked off. He had a few minutes
to think about her strange behaviour before Cas returned from the toilets.
"Hey. What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing. I'm fine" they smiled and walked together to Cas's car, but Dean was
still a bit pre-occupied. She'd recognised his name. And she hadn't acted very
happy about it. Had his Dad worked a case here?
He took his phone out of his pocket and wrote a text.
To:Jo
Sent:4:15pm
Hey. I was talking to your Mum earlier and she seemed a bit upset… did I do
something wrong? xx
                                   [] [] []
When Jo received the text she went straight to her Mum to ask what was wrong.
Ellen Harvelle wasn't working like she had been, instead she was upstairs in
their home, sitting quietly and staring off into space.
"Mum?" Jo asked cautiously, but Ellen didn't move. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine sweetie. Go back to work" Jo paused at her Mother's distant and
emotionless voice.
"Dean text me… he asked if he'd done anything to upset you" she said then took
in Ellen's closed off posture. "Has he?"
"No"
"Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing… it's just… you never told me his last name. It caught me off guard is
all"
"Why?" Ellen sighed and turned to look at her daughter, silent tears filler her
eyes. She was clutching desperately at the locked that hung around her next
that was usually kept under her clothing and close to her heart. Jo took a deep
breath and spoke carefully "Is it about Dad? About what happened to him?" Jo
asked, recognising the scene in front of her as something that happened
whenever her Mother thought of her Dad. Ellen nodded. "Please tell me… I'm old
enough to know what happened." The woman's face was hard, determined to not
have to retell the details to anyone, especially her daughter.
But her resolve slowly broke as she realised that the seventeen year old was
right and she nodded. Then she told her daughter everything from that horrible
day:
Ellen Harvelle hadn't lived in the roadhouse all those years ago. It hadn't
been a suitable home for a young child to be raised so they instead had moved
into a large house on the outskirts of town, somewhere big enough for her
family.
It was ten o'clock on a mid-May Tuesday and her husband had only just returned
home minutes ago when there was a knock at the front door, Ellen opened it to
see a man standing there. He looked to be a similar age to herself at first
glance but there was something in his eyes that told her he had seen a lot in
his life.
"Hello?" She asked.
"My name is John Winchester" he shot a look over his shoulder. "I need to speak
to Bill" Ellen hesitated a moment before disappearing around the corner to
fetch her husband. They both walked back to the door of their home, he looked
at the man there and frowned.
"You're the guy from the bar. How did you… did you follow me home?" Ellen and
Bill looked at the man in their doorway suspiciously.
"Listen. I don't have time to explain but your family is in danger. I need your
help. You need to come with me." Bill looked away from the stranger and towards
his wife then glanced at the ceiling as though he could see through the plaster
to his sleeping daughter above.
"Why are they in danger? What's happening?"
"I don't have time to-"
"-Well make time!"
"There's Hellspawn here! It attacked your friends down the road and now I have
reason to believe it's after you. So lets go!" Bill shook his head and took a
step back into the house.
"They were attacked by wolves. The neighbour saw the whole thing" Bill took
another step backwards… he was almost at the cupboard where he kept his gun.
John suddenly rushed forwards.
"We done have time fore this! Lets go!" John grabbed his arm and dragged him
out of the house.
"Let him go!" Ellen shouted, chasing after them. "You're crazy! Let him go!"
She clawed at the man's arm and he back-handed her in one swift movement,
sending her flying to the ground. She landed in the mud and her head spun. She
heard Bill screaming at the man for hurting her before he was abruptly quiet.
Ellen lifted her head to see John dragging away her unconscious husband. She
ran back to the house to grab her gun which she then aimed at the man.
But she couldn't take the shot. Not with Bill so close to him.
"No!" she cried as he went out of her sight and she moved as to follow after
him. But that was when her four year old daughter appeared at the top of the
stairs with tears streaming down her face at the commotion.
"Mummy!" She sniffled and Ellen knew she couldn't leave Jo alone in the house.
And more then anything she knew she couldn't take Jo with her in her pursuit of
John Winchester. She wouldn't put her daughter in danger like that. So instead
she put the gun back in the draw and called the police. She stayed up for the
rest of the night worrying as Jo slept on the sofa next to her and the police
searched for Bill. The next morning there was another knock on the door and she
rushed to open it, only to find a sullen-looking officer standing there.
"No" she whispered, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry" he said. "We found your husband's body in the woods… he's passed
on." She broke down in sobs but insisted to know what had happened. The man
informed her of how her husband had been tied to a tree and cut to lore wolves
to him. That the wolves had ripped him apart to near death, but the fatal wound
had been a shot to the head.
After that day Ellen couldn't bring herself to live in that house. That house
that had been bought to raise a family that was now no-more. That house that
was so secluded and filled with a quiet that was no-longer peaceful. She moved
back into the Roadhouse, in a hope that at least her daughter would never be
alone.
Mother and daughter both sat on the sofa, crying long after the story had
finished.
"I know it's got nothing to do with your friend sweetie…" Ellen said as her
voice cracked. "I didn't mean to be short with him… it just brought back
memories."
                                   [] [] []
From:Jo
Received:8:49pm
I talked to my Mum. You didn't do anything wrong. She just met someone a long
time ago with the same last name and he wasn't exactly a good person. No need
to worry x
Dean read the text over and over again for several days, his mind raced with
the possibility that the man Ellen had met was his Dad. But, eventually he
pushed it to the back of his mind. There was nothing he could do about it even
if it had been John, so he decided to just enjoy his New Years eve.
He had told the truth when he told Cas that he'd never bothered with New Years,
it had never really held much of a significance to his family. So he didn't
feel bad when he left Sam alone on that Tuesday night. He walked to his
boyfriend's house and the door opened before he even had time to knock. He was
pulled in to a sloppy kiss straight away and huffed out a laugh at Cas's
eagerness.
"Hey" Dean breathed out as he panted for breath.
"Hello" Castiel's voice was deeper than normal, like it got when they were
having sex. It made blood shoot to Dean's groin at the thought. Cas stepped
aside to let Dean in the house and he was surprised and happy to find there was
no-one else home.
"Where is everyone?"
"They're having the party at Anna's house this year so they're all there" They
sat down in the living room and started eating the Pizza they'd ordered while
lightly arguing over which film to watch. After a couple minutes they put the
Megamind disk in the DVD player. They sat next to each other on the floor as
they ate and laughed at the cartoon, but that only lasted until the first AC/DC
song started blaring. They smiled at each other and leant into a kiss, it
started off sweet and innocent but soon deepened. Dean pushed his boyfriend
onto his back as he straddled him and they soon forgot all about the film and
food as they made love.
Dean barely managed to stop himself from blurting out his undying devotional
love to his boyfriend during his orgasm. He hadn't known he was in love with
the boy before that moment and at the time he was too high from the sex to
care. But the next day when he was at the park with Sam he started to freak
out.
His mind was so distracted that the eldest Winchester never noticed the eyes
that watched them from the distance.
 
***** Chapter 13 *****
It was the first day back at school. Dean walked Sam to the middle school like
he always did before walking to his own school. He would normally meet Cas and
Charlie by the front gate but he had a feeling that he could only describe as
'being watched'. So he instead went in through the side door and text them to
meet him in the office. Once he was inside he felt calmer again. Maybe he'd
just imagined the whole feeling. His life was good right now, better then he
ever thought it could be. He knew that a part of him thought that it was all
too good to be true. So maybe his subconscious was playing tricks on him. But
he'd rather not take the chance.
"Hey. Why are we meeting in here?" Charlie asked when Dean found them a couple
of minutes later, he shrugged.
"It's cold outside" He answered, not really knowing how to say 'I think
someone's been watching me' without raising some serious questions and/or
calling the police. Thankfully his answer seemed to be expectable, because
Charlie smiled.
"Maybe I should leave and let you two warm each other up then?" she said with a
wink.
"You are way too invested in this relationship" Dean said and Cas huffed out a
laugh, grinning at his best friend. Cas said something that made Charlie smack
him on the arm, but Dean was no-longer paying attention. Because all of a
sudden he had that feeling again. He'd resisted turning around to look for a
pair of eyes for the whole walk… But now he was at school.
He spun his head around and caught a glimpse of a man through the window. The
man was already walking away and within seconds was disappearing behind cars in
the car park. Dean's eyes were wide and fearful. Because he could have sworn
that the man had been the one person that he hoped to never see again… but it
couldn't have been. He's been so careful to not leave a trace.
Dean had been withdrawing small amounts of money from the credit cards once a
week for over a year so that he'd have enough money to make his escape and have
a safety net to fall back on. He'd never taken any cards with him once he'd
left that motel. He'd stolen a total of three cars and they'd hitchhiked the
last couple of miles into town. He'd never once talked about anyone from here.
He'd disposed of their phones the moment they were out of town… How could he
have found him…
Dean was pulled from his thoughts by a hand placed on his shoulder. He flinched
away from the touch before realising that it was Cas.
"Sorry" he mumbled, "you just made me jump"
"Are you alright, Dean?" Both Cas and Charlie were looking at him with concern.
"Yeah, it's just… nothing. I'm fine" the bell rang and Dean realised that he
must have been staring off into space for at least five minutes. "Come on.
Let's get to lesson"
                                   [] [] []
Dean spent the whole day being jumpy and quiet. He scared his friend's a bit
and constantly made them look around to see if they could spot anything out of
the ordinary, but obviously they couldn't. Dean refused to talk about it to
anyone, not even Cas, and eventually they gave up asking. He rang Sam and told
him that he would text him when he was at the school ground and that he
shouldn't leave to meet him before he received the text.
They walked home in silence as Dean kept shooting looks at every possible
direction. When they were almost home, Sam gave in.
"Okay Dean. What's wrong?"
"Nothing Sam. Everything's fine"
"Then why are you acting like this"
"I…" he took a deep breath and look down at his little brother. "I think Dad's
here" Sam's eyes lit up and he smiled.
"Really?" He asked and joined his brother in searching the area.
"Sam. This isn't a good thing. We wont be able to stay anymore… he'll make us
leave and go back to the way things used to be"
"No he wont" he looked back to his brother and his eyes were glisteningly
happy. Dean stopped in his tracks, making Sam stop too.
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because he told me he wouldn't" Dean's stomach knotted.
"When?"
"A couple of weeks ago"
"Okay… how did he tell you?"
"I… erm… I text him" Dean closed his eyes and felt like he was going to be
sick. There was no doubt in his mind now that the person was his Dad. "I know
you might be mad but hear me out a minute. I just realised that we never even
left him a note to say that we were alive, we just left. And since I remember
his number I text him to tell him we were fine… and he text back to ask where
we were but I wouldn't tell him because I didn't want to leave and he told me
that he wouldn't make us leave. That we could all just stay together, here."
"He was lying Sam. You have to know that"
"No. He wasn't! You were lying!" Dean opened his eyes in shock and looked at
his younger brother. "You said we would be happy! But I'm not happy! Dad's not
here and you're always out at work or with your friends and I'm always alone!"
Tears rolled down Sam's face. "I though it was bad before but at least I had my
brother. Now I don't have anyone"
"I'm doing the best I can…"
"Well it's not good enough!" Sam shouted and ran off towards the motel. Dean
stood in shock for a moment, fighting away tears before running after him. They
were only down the road from the motel and so by the time Dean caught up with
Sam, he was already there.
"Sam we need to talk about this" he huffed out when he finally was able to grab
onto his brother.
"Yeah, Dean. I think we do" came a voice that made his heart drop. Sam spun out
of his grip and ran to the man slouching against the wall.
"Dad!"
"Hey son" he laughed as he pulled him into a hug. "Thanks for texting me" Dean
stood on the outskirts of the reunion and waited. John Winchester looked at his
eldest son, "you should go inside Sammy"
"But…"
"I need to talk to your brother" Sam looked between the two of them and nodded,
then he took out his key, unlocked the door and walked into the room. Dean
didn't say anything for a long time. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want
to leave and he wasn't going to. So if John wanted to take him he'd have to
drag him out. "I'm not going to force you to leave, Dean." He said, which
caught his son off guard. "I told Sammy that I wouldn't and I'm not going to
break my promise… if you two want a normal life then I'm not going to argue...
So is this what you want?"
"Yes" Dean replied instantly.
"And you're adamant that monsters aren't real"
"They aren't" John nodded.
"Okay… then I'll get help… if this is what it takes to stay with you boys then…
I'll get help" Dean stood shocked for a moment and nodded. He wanted to believe
so badly that he could have this normal life but he didn't trust it.
                                   [] [] []
Dean spent the next week as he normally did. He refused to get lifts off his
Dad and so he walked Sam to his school before walking to his own, he met Cas
and Charlie at the front gate, spent the day in lessons and the lunch with his
friends, then got a lift off Cas to Sam's school and walked him back to their
motel.
He told his friends that the reason he'd acted the way he did that first day
was because he'd seen his Dad and thought that he was going to be forced to
move again. But that he'd overreacted and that he was staying put.
John had gotten the motel room next to theirs to sleep in but he spent the rest
of his time in theirs. He was searching for a job - a real job. And when he got
one Dean was going to be able to work less hours at his job and be able to
spend more time with Sam and Cas. It felt good to not have everything resting
on his shoulders.
                                   [] [] []
Dean didn't spend Saturday night at Cas's like he normally did. John found out
from Sam that he normally spent it with a girl and so he knew exactly what was
going on when he noticed Dean texting away on Sunday morning. Or, he thought he
knew what was going on.
"What's her name?" He asked knowingly, Dean thought about how to reply for a
moment.
"Cas"
"Odd name... Is she why you wanted to come back here?" Dean nodded, he didn't
want to correct his Dad by telling him that Cas was a guy, he wasn't sure how
he would react. John smiled at his son; thinking about how, if this was all
down to a girl, then it would only be a matter of time before they broke up and
he could stop pretending that monsters weren't real. "Come on then, show me a
picture" Dean froze for a second and John noticed.
"I don't have any"
"Okay boy... take one next time you see her"
"Yes sir" John laughed.
"Make your old man a coffee?" He asked and Dean got up and left the room to
walk into the kitchen of their motel, leaving his phone on the chair. John's
curiosity peeked, he waited a moment before picking up the mobile. He clicked
the unlock button just to get a password screen. He wrote in the girl's name.
cas
But the 'done' button was dimmed out because there wasn't enough characters,
after a few seconds of thinking he remembered that Dean was really into AC/DC
at the moment and so he began to type in names of band members. He tried to
write in 'angusyoung' but it wouldn't allow the last letter because it was too
many characters.
angus - try again, 6 attempts remaining
malcolm - try again, 5 attempts remaining
young - try again, 4 attempts remaining
johnson - try again, 3 attempts remaining
brian - try again, 2 attempts remaining
John sighed and was about to give up when he remembered the original singer, he
figured it couldn't hurt to try; the only thing the phone does if you keep
putting in a wrong password is prevent you from trying again for 30 seconds.
scott - try again, 1 attempt remaining
bonscott - Unlocked
He smirked to himself and clicked on his son's 'contacts' then scrolled down to
'Cas'. His smirk fell into a frown when he saw a picture of a boy with dark
hair and blue eyes wearing a tan trench coat. John started to worry and so
backed off the 'contacts' and into the 'gallery'. He began to scroll, seeing
many pictures of the boy and many of a red-headed girl along with some of other
teens his son's age. Then he came across a video. He turned the volume on the
phone down and pressed play. The video was password protected and so John once
again entered the deceased singer's name.
At first there was just a sound of shuffling and a blank screen, then there was
light and it focussed on a hand holding a lens cover which he'd just removed.
The hand belonged to a boy wearing an AC/DC shirt and boxers, his erection was
clear through the thin material. He placed it down to the side of what John
assumes is a camera not the phone and stepped away, he was the black-haired boy
and he was in a bedroom.
"It's recording" the boy said in a low gravely voice, Dean was sitting on the
bed, shirtless and wearing only a pair of tented boxers.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dean asked as the boy knelt above him,
straddling him.
"Yes" he growled out and leant down for a kiss. John watched for a few more
seconds until his son slipped his hand into the other boy's boxers, then he
titled the phone so he could no-longer see the screen and what was happening
while he tried to decide what to do next. John jumped up from his seat and
moved into the kitchen.
"What the hell is this?" he shouted at his son, holding up the phone. Dean
turned straight away to see the sex video that he and Cas had made a couple of
weeks ago playing on his phone. Cas had just pushed him back on the bed and
started to blow him on the small screen and through the sudden silence in the
motel both men could clearly hear how much he had been enjoying it.
"I can explain..." he whispered in fear and had to duck in the next second as
the phone went flying towards his head.
"You can explain?!" John shouted. "I think it's fairly self explanatory, don't
you?!" His Father pushed him against a wall, slamming his head back into it
many times. "You ran away from me to go fuck some guy! Me and Sam should be off
saving the world! But you dragged us away so you could be a fagot!" John
brought his knee up into his son's groined and Dean rolled forwards in pain.
"Dad, please"
"Don't call me that!" he punched him in the kidneys which sent shocks of pain
through his body. "You're no son of mine... you're pathetic. You're disgusting!
A fucking fagot and you're dead to me." He pushed him onto the floor and kicked
him multiple times in the chest and stomach. "Why don't you go burden someone
else with your twisted soulbecause I'm not going to let you drag you're brother
into your sick life. I'm taking him and I'm leaving. You're never going to see
us again"
"No" Dean whispered around the blood in his mouth. Then John brought his fist
down on his son's face, knocking him unconscious.
 
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Notes
     I feel bad that I made Sam into a bit of an asshole. I just figure
     that he's young and a bit brainwashed by John so he doesn't really
     fully grasp everything that Dean is doing for him. Maybe he's a bit
     naïve and just misses his brother.
Dean woke up to the sound of someone knocking frantically at the door. He
heaved himself up and flexed his muscles, thankful that even though he hurt
like hell, there didn't seem to be any broken bones. He hobbled along to the
door and swung it open.
"What?" he shouted at the person there before seeing who it was, he instantly
felt bad.
"Oh my God!" Cas said, looking over his beaten and bloodied form, "what
happened"
"Bar brawl" he replied instantly, but a little softer this time. He could see
that Cas was having a hard time believing that.
"When were you at a bar?"
"Saturday night. Me and my Dad got into an argument so I went to a bar... why
are you here?"
"You stopped texting me back and then when I tried to call you your phone was
switch off..." Dean thought back to his phone being thrown at his head,
obviously it had smashed.
"Yeah, sorry. My phone broke"
"And then you weren't at school so I got worried and left" Dean looked at the
sky it was around midday, but it had been Sunday morning when he got into the
fight. He'd blackout for over twenty four hours... that couldn't be good.
"I think I need to got to the hospital" Cas nodded and helped him out of the
motel.
"Where's your Dad?" Cas asked as they got into his car.
"He's taken Sam... to visit my Aunt" Dean didn't want to lie, and it seemed
that he couldn't say anything without lying. He let out a ragged breath, why
couldn't his Dad have just stayed away... When they got to the hospital Dean
was taken in for a scan and found he had a skull facture and a concussion. He
was given pain killers and kept over night.
"You should call the police" Cas told him when they were alone in his room.
"I'm fine Cas, I shouldn't have started the fight anyway" he shouldn't have put
the video on his phone was what he was really thinking.
"Dean... did this really happen in a bar?"
"Yeah... where else would it have happened" Cas didn't believe his lie.
"At home maybe" Dean paused.
"No Cas... it was at a bar"
"How'd you get in there?"
"I have a fake ID" Cas stared into his eyes and wanted to believe him, but
something just didn't sit right about it. He nodded anyway, and pretended to
give in. Cas stayed with him all night and when it came time to go home he
started to drive in the wrong direction to the motel, Dean didn't notice at
first because he'd never been to the hospital.
"Where are we going? I'm meant to be on bed-rest for the rest of the week"
"You're coming home with me until your Dad gets back. I don't want you to be
alone"
"I want to go back to the motel, Cas"
"Dean..."
"Cas I just need to be alone" He said, which made his boyfriend's heart break.
"You need looking after"
"No I don't... if you wont take me to the motel then I'll just walk there
myself" Cas grit his teeth to keep him from arguing and turned the car around
to head towards the motel. Dean got out without a word and walked inside.
Cas just wanted to help and it made him angry that Dean wouldn't let him, he
went to school the next day and came back to visit him after it finished but
Dean didn't want to speak to him, so he didn't go back the following days like
he wanted to. Dean spent his days obsessing over what to do, his new phone came
in the mail on the Friday and he instantly charged it and put in the SIM and
memory cards so that nothing was lost. He scrolled into his contacts and
clicked on Sam's name. After a few rings his brother answered.
"Dad told me that I shouldn't talk to you" the boy said in greeting and Dean
felt sick. "He said that you were sick and would try to make us stop again"
"I'm not sick Sammy"
"Then why did he say it?" Dean paused.
"You remember what I told you about Dad… and about how monsters aren't real"
"Dad says they are"
"He's delusional"
"He says the same about you"
"Sammy..."
"I have to go" Sam hung up and Dean's heart dropped into his stomach. He sat
and did nothing for a long time then picked up his phone to call his boyfriend,
but Cas didn't answer. He sat for a while more and looked at the clock, when it
got to eight he stood up and walked out of the motel, making sure he grabbed
his fake ID.
He went to a bar that was close by and ordered a beer. He took a long drink,
bought another and settled down to stay for the night.
                                   [] [] []
A pounding headache, created by a mix of his skull facture and a hangover, woke
Dean up the next morning. He opened one eye just enough that he could reach
over to his night stand, take his painkillers and fall back asleep. But when he
opened his eye he saw that he wasn't in his bed. He sat up suddenly and had to
wait out the dizziness that overcame him with his eyes closed and head braced
in his hands. Then he slowly looked around the foreign room before reluctantly
looking down at the other person in the bed.
A skinny blond woman lay naked next to him and he felt like crying as he
remembered the night before.
He'd sat at the bar for a few hours ordering a total of five beers when the
woman approached him. They bought each other drinks, starting with a beer and
getting into shots. He forgot about Cas in his drunk haze and just wanted to
feel better, so he'd followed her lead and gone to her apartment with her.
Dean shook his head over and over even though it caused him pain. He wished he
could take it all back. Not just the drunken sex but the avoiding Cas for the
past week. He hated himself in that instant.
He pushed away the person he loved most and betrayed him. He'd wanted to feel
better but not like this, not with her. Cas had been the one he'd really needed
and now he'd ruined everything. Dean got out of bed and changed as fast as he
could without waking the sleeping woman, then he left without a word. It was
probably a shitty thing to do, but in that moment he couldn't care about
anything other than Cas. He wandered around the streets for a while until he
came across one he recognised and he walked to his boyfriend's house. He
knocked on the door and Gabriel answered it a few seconds later.
"Hey Dean-o. Wow, who gave you the shiner?" He said, mentioning the only mark
that his Dad had left him that was visible on his face, everything else was on
his chest and stomach.
"Long story. Is Cas here?"
"Yeah, he's in his room" Gabe said and he motioned for Dean to go up, which he
did. He stared at his boyfriend's bedroom door for a moment and then knocked
on.
"Cas?" There was the sound of someone getting off the bed and a few seconds
later the door opened and he was pulled into a hug.
"I'm so glad you're here" he mumbled and Dean began to cry silently. "I missed
your call and so I tried to call you back but you didn't answer and you weren't
at the motel..." When Cas moved away he noticed the tears and wiped them away
gently with a concerned frown on his face.
"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry"
"You have nothing to apolo-"
"Yeah I do" Dean said, cutting his boyfriend off. "I did something bad... and
you're going to hate me... because I hate myself" Cas pulled him into his
bedroom and closed the door, waiting. "I slept with someone else" Dean mumbled
around his tears and Cas looked at him with sad eyes, but he couldn't make eye
contact. He couldn't look into those blue eyes and see the hurt that he'd
caused there. Cas wasn't sure what to say or do.
"When?" he finally asked after minutes of silence.
"Last night"
"Who?" then he shook his head and held up his hand, "no. I don't want to know"
"... I don't have a good excuse. I was drunk and sad but that's no defence. I
hate myself and I wish I could take it all back but I can't... and" Dean paused
at the lump in his throat but carried on "and I completely understand if you
want me to leave and never come back" Castiel rubbed at his forehead and ran
his hand through his hair in thought.
"I don't want you to leave" he said quietly as he looked at Dean. The black eye
was prominent against his pale skin and Cas winced as he remembered how he'd
looked after the beating. Dean insisted that it was a bar brawl but he had a
feeling it was more personal, that it had been his Dad. Cas hoped he was wrong
but he couldn't be sure that he was with Dean being so withdrawn since it had
happened. "I… I don't know what I want… but I don't want that"
"I've messed everything up… I'm so, so, sorry" Dean's voice cracked as he spoke
and he was hit again with a strong dizzy spell which made his head run. He
leaned back against the wall behind him to stop himself from falling over. Cas
noticed and put his hand on Dean's shoulder to steady him.
"Have you taken your pills?" He asked in a concerned voice which broke Dean's
heart; he shook his head gently. "You need to take your medicine Dean"
"They're at the motel"
"I'll drive you" Dean shook his head again.
"No, we need to talk"
"We can talk on the drive there"
"Cas, please" Dean looked up into his boyfriend's eyes as he pleaded; he
couldn't let Cas drive him back to the motel because he knew that he would want
to go inside and it was still smashed up from the weekend. The blue eyed boy
narrowed his eyes with suspicion.
"You want to talk? Then lets talk about why you don't want to go home," tears
slipped from Castiel's eyes and Dean shook his head and looked down at his feet
instead of answering. "I deserve the truth, Dean"
"I'm telling you the truth"
"No. You're not. I can see that you're lying to me so why won't you let me in"
"I should go" Dean said as he back away from Cas.
"Good. I'll drive you" there wasn't any of the warmth and concern in his tone
that there was previously.
"No"
Cas turned away from Dean and sat on his bed.
"If you don't want to tell me the truth then just leave." Both boys knew what
Cas truly meant by that sentence; he could forgive the lies. He could forgive
the cheating. But he couldn't do both. If Dean didn't tell Cas the truth then
they couldn't be together. Dean's heart shattered at those angry words but he
knew he'd deserved them and worse. He nodded and left the room. Left the house.
And left Cas.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Cas cried for long after Dean had left and almost called him a million times,
but instead he called Charlie. After hearing what happened she got furious at
Dean and proceeded to ring him over and over again. But he didn't pick up. He
was too depressed to talk to her. Too depressed to be forced to lie, yet again,
to his friends. He stayed in a state of un-change all day, while he sat on his
bed and did nothing but think about how royally he'd screwed everything up.
He thought about how his life had been just a couple of weeks ago. He'd been
happy. But now everything was wrong. Life was meant to get better but his
seemed to be going in reverse.
Then it was night time. He slipped under his covers and closed his eyes, but
didn't get any sleep. His mind was too active and filled with his own
shortcomings. He'd not been able to keep Sam or Cas happy for long; because he
just wasn't good enough.
                                   [] [] []
On Monday morning, when Cas and Charlie got to school, they didn't stop and
wait by the gates for Dean. Instead they sat in his car and talked.
"How are you feeling?" She asked gently.
"I'm doing okay… you don't need to keep asking" he replied softly. She placed
her hand on top of his and they sit in silence for a moment; though it wasn't
uncomfortable, just sad. "I think I loved him" Cas whispers and tears began to
roll from his eyes. "I still do love him. It's not exactly something that
disappears… I think he might love me too, but it's just not enough. He's not
been telling me the truth, and with the lying and the drinking and then after…"
his voice ran off, he didn't want to think about how he'd been cheated on. "I
just can't do it anymore. He's throwing our relationship away, like it's
nothing but waste and I'd prefer to remember it how it was and not how it's
turning into. I don't want my memories to be tainted." Charlie nodded and
rubbed soothing circles on his hand with her thumb.
"Do you want to go home?" She asked with a soothing voice. And he did… but he
couldn't, so he shook his head.
"I have to face him eventually. So it might as well be today"
"Are you sure?"
"You're just hankering for another day watching movies in our pyjamas and
eating ice cream" he said with a small smile, talking about how they'd spent
the rest of their weekend after him and Dean had broken up.
"You got me" she said lightly as she returned his smile. Then the bell rang,
signalling their first period. Charlie walked into computing in a rage and
slapped Dean on the back of the head, but not in her usual friendly manner. He
lifted his hand up and rubbed at the sore spot but didn't say anything. She sat
down and glared at him and he looked back at her with sad eyes.
Her rage lessoned slightly as she took in his sluggish state. His clothes were
crinkled like he'd slept in them. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and puffy
from lack of sleep and crying, as well as massive black circles under them
which were only noticeable on one eye because the other had a giant bruise
covering it. But she was stilled pissed at him.
"You should remember that he has friends and family that would do anything for
him. So unless you want to turn that" she gestured at his black eye "into a
matching set, stay away" then she turned to her computer and they didn't speak
again.
Dean's next lesson was gym. He was forced to sit on the side and watch his
friends play basketball, since all the teachers know of his concussion.
"Wow. You look like crap" Benny said as he walked up to him before getting
changed at the end of the lesson.
"I'm tired"
"Then maybe get some sleep" he joked.
"Can't sleep"
"I heard that you and Cas broke up" Benny said after a moments silence. "You
want to spend break and lunch with us?" Dean nodded and waited for his friend
to get changed. Him and Benny were some of the first people into Math class
after break finished and instead of his normal place, he chose to sit at a
random seat that he knew was empty near the front of the class. He waited in
silence as the room started to fill with students… then Cas and Charlie walked
in and his chest began to ache.
Cas looked tired too… but he still looked good. He wasn't wearing his usual
dress shirt and trench coat. Instead he wore some of his lounge around clothes;
a dark blue shirt with faded grey jeans, black trainers and a red hooded fabric
jacket. He was smiling faintly at whatever Charlie was saying but Dean could
see the sadness in his eyes, he would bet money on Charlie being able to see it
too. He dropped his face into his hands and closed his eyes before they could
notice him looking. The next two hours of Math and Lunch went by slowly; if he
wasn't thinking about Cas then he was thinking about Sam. He wished there was
something he could do to fix things… but then again everyone was probably
better off without him.
After lunch was English; there were no other seats and so he couldn't move away
from his former friends. But didn't talk to them. Becky and Kevin had seemed
sympathetic to him and asked him how he was holding up. It was fairly pointless
question since everyone could tell by the state of him that he wasn't doing
good. He nodded at them but didn't answer. He didn't have the heart to talk to
them. Then it was time for Latin and he was, for the first time, glad that the
class was so small. He walked in and joined the two girls and their friend who
had started at the beginning of the year at their table. When his former
friends walked in, Balthazar gave him evils and sat next to Cas in Dean's old
seat.
He stared at the mess of hair on his ex-boyfriend's head for the whole lesson,
wanting nothing more then to break down, tell him everything and beg for his
forgiveness. But he didn't. He also didn't go to his last period, deciding that
he'd had enough school for the day and walked back to the motel.
Dean was exhausted and after ringing into his work sick, he went straight to
bed. He still couldn't sleep. It was seven o'clock and he'd been in bed for
around three and a half hours when his hunger peaked. He lethargically got out
of bed and grabbed some leftover pizza from the fridge. He'd eaten one slice
and was onto his second when he was hit with the memory of New Years Eve. He
dropped the slice suddenly, feeling ill. Then he got up and grabbed the bottle
of whisky that he'd bought the previous day before opening and gulping it down.
The alcohol started to work at the pain in his chest as it made the memories
less potent. So Dean drank more. He got about half way through the bottle when
he passed out at the table and slept until midday the next day. He woke up with
a banging headache and emptied the contents of his stomach in the toilet a few
times before checking the time. Deciding that it didn't matter if he missed a
day, he threw himself onto his bed and willed sleep to find him again. Which it
didn't.
At about half four he was greeted with a loud knocking on the door and groaned.
He kept his eyes half closed and he pulled himself off the bed and towards the
door. Charlie waited at the other side and looked increasingly worried when she
noticed how unstable he seemed . It wasn't until she smelled the alcohol on his
breath that she scowled at him.
"Why are you here?" He asked and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Oh, I don't know… maybe because the last time you missed a day you were found
beaten to a pulp. And maybe we were a bit worried that you'd gone and got
yourself killed this time. Don't worry though, next time we'll just let you
rot"
"Promise?" he said snidely before picking up on her use of 'we'. She walked
away and he noticed for the first time the blue ford sitting in the car park
with his former boyfriend inside. His heart practically stopped as their eyes
met and he slammed the door shut. He rushed to the toilet as he felt a wave of
nausea flood him, he heaved into the porcelain but his stomach was empty so
nothing came back up. His heaves turned to sobs and he rolled onto the floor
with tears streaming down his face. He stayed there for a while, just letting
his emotions take over.
About an hour later he got up and drank himself back into oblivion.
                                   [] [] []
The next day he woke up at around five in the morning, he immediately took his
pain medication to calm the throbbing from his hangover and concussion. He then
scoffed down two bacon butties and a whole pint of milk before having a shower.
He felt sober by the time that he left for school. He didn't really want to go,
but he still wanted a normal life… which meant forcing yourself into doing
thinks you don't want to in order to get by.
Dean walked into Computing class and sat down in his normal chair besides the
red-headed girl wearing hipster-esk glasses.
"Charlie…" he paused, not actually sure what he was going to say. "I'm sorry."
She stopped what she was doing on the computer and looked at him. Her gaze was
hard but not as cold as before and when she spoke it didn't hold the venom it
had done.
"I'm sure you are… but…"
"I know" he said, fully understanding that everything he'd done couldn't be
forgiven just like that. He didn't deserve to be forgiven; he didn't even want
to be forgiven, he just wanted her to know that he was sorry. Then he turned
and logged onto the computer.
Dean tried to spend the rest of the day just concentrating on his work and not
letting his mind wander to those depressing places it had been lately. It
worked mostly in Computing, but the second he sat down in Gym and did nothing
but watch as other people play basketball, he started thinking about Cas. He
was hunched forwards with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his
hands. And then he wasn't just thinking about Cas, he could see him. In his
minds eye the stunning blue eyes stared at him, sparkling contrastingly against
the pale skin and dark hair. He was wearing his usual scruffy trench coat over
the top of a half-open grey button down shirt, the AC/DC top visible
underneath. His lips were tilted in that trademark smirk of his that left
Dean's stomach in knots.
Dean sighed at the image in his mind. He was so completely in love with this
boy that when he thought of all the lies he'd told, it physically hurt him. He
knew that Cas deserves a hundred times better then himself; which is why he
couldn't be with him. Cas's going to do great things with his life and he'd
soon forget about him… and that's the way it should be because Dean would just
hold him back… he's no good for him.
But, he couldn't seem to let the boy go, he didn't want to let him go. So he
thinks about him instead; about the smile that makes the world a little bit
brighter, about the mess of hair that Cas, long ago, gave up on trying to
style; and most of all, he thinks about those eyes that stared into his soul.
No, he couldn't be with him, but he could still think about him.
He spends the next twenty minutes in that position; daydreaming of bright blue
eyes, until his teacher walked up to him.
"Dean?" The man asked "are you alright?" Dean lifted his head and realised that
it must look like he was in pain, he nodded.
"I'm fine" he said, with a croaky unused voice, then he clears his throat. The
teacher stared at him for a moment, trying to judge the truth in his words.
"I'm going to send you to the nurse" he said as he got out a 'nurses slip' to
allow Dean to walk the halls while lessons were going on, he started to write
his name on it.
"I don't want to go home" he said simply. The teacher looked at him and frowned
before nodding.
"If you change your mind then come get me" he said and walked off. Dean lent
back against the wall behind him and was careful to not look like he was in
pain for the remainder of the lesson.
In Maths they were given a surprise test; he usually would groan at the thought
of a test but today he just didn't care. They were told to put their name and
the date at the top of the page and it wasn't until then that he actually
realised what the date was. It was January 22nd. It was only two days until his
birthday. His stomach dropped into the floor.
Dean hadn't thought about his birthday since Sam left. He'd forgotten about it.
And now it was just around the corner and nobody knew… 'not that they'd care if
they did know' he thought to himself. The test started and he looked down at
the first question. He read it over and over again, trying to make sense of it,
but the words didn't sink in.
Mrs Borne sat down at her desk, logged into her email and clicked on the
'notes' page like every teacher did at the beginning of the lesson. It was
where the teachers wrote any information on the students in their lesson that
might be of use to the pupil's other teachers. There was only one new entry for
this class; it was about Dean Winchester. She clicked on it and read about how
he'd seemed to be in pain during his previous class, probably due to his
concussion. She looked up at the boy in question and noticed that he looked
nauseous. She picked up the green nurses pad and walked to his desk, she
crouched down to him.
"Are you feeling okay?" She asked and he nodded weakly. "Would you like to go
to the nurses office?" He was about to refuse again but he felt so truly alone,
and it made him want to throw up and cry.
"Yes please" She nodded and wrote down his name, the date and time on a nurses
slip before signing it. He took it, picked up his bag and walked out of the
lesson, not turning around to see the saddened and concerned blue eyes that
followed his exit.
***** Chapter 16 *****
From where Dean sat on his bed, with all the doors open as they were, he could
almost see the whole motel room; he spared a look around. The clock on the
bedside table showed that it was nine o'clock. It was pitch black outside the
windows and his head was already spinning from his alcohol consumption. Broken
glass and his blood littered the kitchen floor, there was a crack in the cheap
plaster of one wall that was covered in red where his head had been repeatedly
bashed against it. The lamp in the bedroom had been knocked over and was now
laying smashed on the hard-wood flooring, the lighting above him was dim and
tiring with only one faint bulb to fill the whole room.
He wanted nothing more than to just go to sleep; but, even with alcohol, he
still found it hard to fall into a slumber before midnight. So he instead drank
some more.
He felt so incredibly lonely in that moment. It wasn't just that he was by
himself because Sam would often have gone to bed by this time of night, so he
would usually be by himself anyway. But he had always known that his brother
would be there for him if he needed him to be. Except that now he wasn't. He'd
left with their Dad and was probably out there hunting 'monsters'. He'd
probably turn as insane as their Father soon and there was nothing that Dean
could do about it…
It hurt him that he wasn't able to protect his little brother… that had always
been his job. And now Sam was gone and he was useless. Cas was gone too, so was
Charlie, and all of his friends. He'd most likely end up pushing Benny away
too.
But he supposed that's just who he was… he was a screw up who broke everything
he touched.
Dean checked the clock again; only a few minutes had passed since he'd last
checked. Even though it had felt like a lifetime. He took another gulp from his
bottle and drained it. He sat for a few seconds before suddenly throwing the
glass at the wall opposite him as he yelled in pain and heartbreak. The object
smashed as it collided with the plaster and sent a million shards flying in all
directions. Dean caught a glimpse of himself reflected in the bathroom mirror
and turned to glare at his reflection; he was pathetic.
After a few moments of wallowing in self pity he got up and left the motel in
favour for a bar.
                                   [] [] []
Dean dragged himself out of bed the next morning at six o'clock. It wasn't his
bed. He looked down at the beautiful woman who'd been lying next to him. He'd
forgotten how good he was at picking up random chicks at bars, since he hadn't
had sex with anyone other than Cas since they first got together back in May.
He realised that he didn't miss it.
He sighed, picked up a piece of paper and a pencil and left her a note saying
that he'd call her. He probably wouldn't… he couldn't even remember her name.
His stomach churned as he once again thought of Cas.
Yeah, having sex with random woman felt good… but once it was all over, it
didn't take long for him to be become depressed again. Because none of them
could replace Castiel; but Dean had lost him and he was never coming back. He
trudged along to his motel so he could grab a quick shower and take some of his
pain killers before heading off to school.
Today was different though; the pit in his stomach just kept getting bigger and
bigger. And no-matter how much he tried to, he couldn't quiet the voice in his
head that told him he was a waist of air… pitiful… disgusting…
And then it was break time. Benny and his two friends stepped out of the
changing rooms, laughing light-heartedly. Dean saw them from the far end of the
corridor as they walked up to him. Their expressions didn't change, they were
still just as friendly, but everything became… awkward. That was when he
decided that his Dad was right… he was a burden. Benny tried to push him into
conversing with them but he stayed pretty much unresponsive, with only the odd
nod of his head or mumbled word in agreement. The bell rang to signal the next
lesson and so Benny and Dean walked into Math.
"You feeling all right, Brother?" Benny asked, "you seem quiet"
"I'm fine" Dean mumbled and his friend frowned. He was suddenly struck with
guilt at pressing his problems onto Benny and sighed… he had to do something
about that. "I'm not going to see you after lesson. I need to talk to someone
at Lunch"
"You want any company?" Dean shook his head and sat into his seat at the front
of his class, "Okay, if you're sure. But if you change you're mind then just
text me" Benny said as he patted Dean on the shoulder and walked to his own
seat.
Dean sat in the library all Lunch and then went on with the rest of his classes
as normal, happy that he'd made his friend's life a little easier.
                                   [] [] []
The happiness didn't last very long. By the time that he got into the motel he
was already depressed. He would normally have been gulping down his whisky by
now but he'd ran out. So instead he sat on the sofa and turned on the
television. His eyes focused on the bright screen as the sun set outside. But
he didn't pay any real attention. He watched the movement but his mind was
wondering how Sam was doing. He contemplated calling him again… but he was a
smart kid. He probably already figured out that his Dad was insane and was
working on a plan to get away. He didn't need Dean. Dean was nothing but a
burden, a hindrance.
The following hours passed very slowly and Dean was itching for something to
drink to numb the pain with by the time it turned eight o'clock. He grabbed his
wallet and set off to the bar.
Dean sat on a stool and surveyed the women around him. There were only a few so
far, but it was early doors. He decided to grab a drink and wait. An hour and 3
whisky's later he noticed three tall woman sitting at a table off to his right.
He hadn't seen them walk in but now that he was looking, he couldn't look away.
Because one of them had blue eyes that were so bright he could see them from
where he sat. They were so similar and yet so very different to Castiel's eyes
that he knew that he had to talk to her.
Several minutes later she noticed him looking and smiled weakly. The smile was
so 'not Cas' that it broke his trance and he dropped his gaze to the floor and
then up to the counter and his drink. It wasn't long until all three woman
finished their drinks and the girl with the blue eyes got up to the bar to
order more. She was standing near him and he probably would have tried to flirt
with her… but now he just felt ill.
A man from the other side of the room got up and walked over to the woman. He
threw his arm over her shoulder and leant in close. She tried to pull away but
he held her still as he spoke loudly to her; so loud that Dean could catch
every slurred syllable.
"You, are fine" the man said and Dean rolled his eyes and took another sip from
his drink, grimacing as it burnt down his throat.
"My… erm… my boyfriend certainly thinks so" the woman said as she struggled to
push him off.
"Hmmm… don't worry. That's not a deal breaker" he said leaning closer. Dean
looked around and frowned as he realised that no-one else seemed to notice what
was going on.
"I'm sorry… I'm not interested" the woman said loudly, trying to install the
sense of confidence so he would get the point that it wasn't up for debate.
"That hurts my feelings baby…" the man drawled and Dean finally had enough. He
downed the last of his drink, stood up and pulled the drunken slob of the
woman.
"She said she wasn't interested" Dean growled out and the man turned in Dean's
grasp and punched him solidly in the jaw, the woman screeched in surprise. He
stumbled back a little then returned with his own punch, which knocked the man
onto the floor. He struggled to get up and so Dean kicked him in the chest. He
was about to do it again when two men grabbed hold of him and pulled him out
the bar while another grabbed the other man and lead him through a side exit.
Dean fell flat on the floor and looked up at the two bouncers who had pulled
him out. One appeared as if he was going to shout something but Dean just got
up and stumbled down the path and away from the building. The woman with the
blue eyes ran out with her friends after they had attempted to comfort her to
thank him but he had long since gone.
Dean didn't want to go back to the motel yet but he had no-where else, so he
just wandered without any aim or purpose. The streetlights over head were few
and far between as he walked, gloom and shadows cast in all directions and no-
where to go but deeper into the darkness. He walked solemnly through the
winding roads that he would have recognised if he had been paying any
attention. A light flicked on in a house across the street and it caught Dean's
attention. He stopped and looked into the room through the gap where the
curtains weren't properly closed and his heart dropped into the floor. Castiel
walked into the room with a book and hot chocolate in his hands, he was smiling
and throwing looks over his shoulder back to the way he'd come and shouted
something at one of his brothers.
He was wearing his AC/DC shirt underneath a cosy looking, dark blue, wool
cardigan and paired with faded grey jeans. Dean's heart almost stopped at the
sight and his eyes burned with unshed tears. He felt like he was looking at the
one place he belonged and yet could never go, because in that moment he
realised that Cas was his home. His whole body, bones and all, burned with
simultaneous love and self hatred. Cas settled on the sofa and flipped through
the book he was holding until he found the right page and started reading. Dean
wanted to got knock on his door and beg for forgiveness… 'Cas doesn't want to
talk to you' his mind shouted at him, 'look at him! He's moving on… you're no
good for him'.
Cas looked up from his book when he felt eyes watching him. He looked towards
the window and noticed that the curtains weren't closed properly and so had a
minor debate on whether or not he should get up from his comfy position. He
settled the book down on the coffee table with a sigh. When he got closer to
the window, his eyes widen in surprise. Dean was standing on the opposite side
of the road and looking sullen and heartbroken. He was staring down at his feet
with his hands tucked into his jacket and he seemed completely hopeless and
lost… he looked like he was destroyed.
Castiel took a moment to decide what to do and then stepped away. He walked out
the living room and into the hallway before swinging the door open. Dean wasn't
there anymore. Cas frowned and took a step out into the cold, noticing the
silhouette of the boy walking away, far down the road and sighed again. He shut
the door and returned to his book. But he could no-longer concentrate on it.
Dean got back to the empty motel room and rummaged through his pockets for his
keys. They weren't there. Neither was his wallet. He banged his head against
the red door a couple of times as he remembered leaving them at the bar. He
stayed still for a long time and then slid down the wall to slouch against the
door. His heart stammered and he felt on the verge of tears again. He sat and
thought about his life.
He'd never been alone before, not really. But now he was. Sure, he had a couple
of friends… but they would be much better off without him there. And, anyway,
they didn't know who he really was, they just saw the mask. Cas didn't even
know…
Dean put his head in his hands. He had no-one left. No-one who cared about him.
No-one who saw who he really was. The Dean Winchester that everyone here knew
didn't even exist. He was a fabrication. And that would have been fine (God
knows that he'd been lying about who he was long enough to get used to it) if
there was anyone out there that could know the real him and not run away in
disgust. He closed his eyes and let the tears flow freely from his eyes and
stream down his face. He wished that his mind would just shut off for a bit so
he could get some sleep; but that wouldn't happen, not without alcohol. But he
didn't have any… or any money to buy more; so now there was nothing left to
numb the pain.
He took his phone from his pocket, looked at it for a moment and dialled Sam in
a fit of desperation. But his brother didn't answer. Sammy no-longer needed or
wanted him in his life. Neither did his Father. He'd betrayed both of them… and
if that wasn't bad enough, he betrayed Cas; the only person who could have kept
him sane. His mind provided Bobby's name and he knew that he should ring him.
He didn't live too far away, he could help… 'why would he want to help you'
Dean's mind shouted at him. 'No-one else wants you so why who he? You're
pathetic. You're a burden. You should just end it all'. Dean cried silently to
himself, then slowly got up from the hard, cold floor. He looked at the door
and barged at it. It shuddered but didn't move so he did it again. And again.
Eventually the door caved under the force and swung open off it's hinges. Dean
pushed inside and went straight to the kitchen, he grabbed a knife and walked
away again.
He walked to the far corner of the car park. He was hidden here beneath the
trees and no-one could see him. He could only just glimpse his motel room as a
large man walked to the door and pulled out his mobile. He sat back against the
trunk of a large tree and looked at the shiny object in his hand. He was tired.
He wanted it to be over. He wanted to die. He had to pay for everything he'd
done…
'I'll probably go to hell after everything that I've done… but up above in
heaven or down below in hell… it doesn't really matter. The only thing that
matters is that I won't be able to hurt anyone again'
Dean's mind swam, it wasn't exactly the first time that he'd though about this.
Tears streamed steadily down his cheeks now and he contemplated ringing
Castiel. He knew he wouldn't answer but he wanted to say goodbye to him. The
only thing stopping him was the knowledge that if he went through with this…
then Cas would blame himself for not picking up. For not being there to talk
him out of it. He didn't want to be a burden anymore, He didn't want to cause
anymore suffering.
Dean lowered the knife to his wrist with a shaky hand. He'd been at this point
three times before in his life. This low feeling that screamed at him that he
wasn't worth anything. But he'd always found something good to hold onto and
never gone through with it. He listened to his heart and searched his mind for
what to do as he looked at the blade pressed against his pale skin.
                                   [] [] []
When Cas got to school on Friday morning he was determined to talk to Dean.
He'd spent most of the night thinking about how depressed he'd looked. Castiel
had noticed it when he'd seen him in school but he'd never looked that bad.
Cas had told Charlie about everything and that he'd wanted to try to fix what
had happened. He didn't think they could get back together, at least not yet.
But he still cared about him. He still wanted to be his friend and help him get
through whatever was worrying him.
He planned on moving to sit by him in Math and talking to him and found that he
was actually quite excited at the prospects of being able to converse with him
once more. But then he got a text while he was in his first period. He
immediately looked at his phone and his heart sank. Charlie had text him to say
that Dean wasn't in lesson.
He went through the rest of English, Physics and break and then they
deliberately walked into Math five minutes late… but Dean wasn't in that lesson
either. He sat down in his regular seat and scowled to himself. He thought
about all the possible reasons why Dean wasn't here but over everything else
his mind supplied one answer… he was at some random girl's house with a
hangover.
Angry tears threatened to burst free from Cas's eyes. He was angry at Dean for
making him feel so stupid. And he was angry at himself for believing that Dean
actually cared enough about their relationship to fight for him. He shook his
head of all thoughts of his ex-boyfriend and continued with the rest of his
day, feeling heartbroken.
***** Chapter 17 *****
When Dean still isn't at school on Monday Cas started to feel sick with worry.
He tried to tell himself that it was probably just another hangover, but
something just didn't sit right about it. When he wasn't at school on the
Tuesday either, Cas was out right panicking. His mind was filled with images of
Dean beaten and broken, covered with his own blood. Only this time his eyes
were glassy and empty of life. Cas swallowed past the lump in his throat.
After Math ended he didn't leave the room with his friends; instead he walked
over to Benny. He'd never really talked much to the boy and usually he was shy
with new people when his friend's weren't by his side… but he needed to know.
"Have you seen Dean lately?" Castiel asked the shaved-head beefy teen, "I need
to talk to him" Benny shook his head and looked worried.
"Not since Thursday… I've tried ringing him but he's not picking up" Cas's
chest felt tight with worry and he nodded stiffly.
"Thank you" he said and then walked out of lesson. Charlie was waiting for him
in the corridor.
"I told Jo to go ahead to the canteen without us… I thought you'd want to talk"
"I have to go" Cas said and Charlie picked up on his strained voice. He walked
quickly through the corridors heading for the office.
"What's happened?"
"I need to see Dean" he was practically jogging now and Charlie was following
him. Once they got into the office Cas, turned to head out of the side door
that lead towards the student car park and broke into a run as he rushed to his
car. Charlie struggled to keep up with him but he waited for her to get into
the passenger seat before driving off to the motel. They sat in silence for the
short drive and Charlie kept sending looks his way. When he pulled into the car
park and saw crime scene tape covering Dean's door his heart shattered.
"No" he whispered as he slammed on his breaks and jumped out of the car. He ran
in the opposite direction of Dean's room and towards the reception. "What
happened? Why is there crime scene tape covering that door?" Cas asked the
young woman who was sitting behind the desk. She put on fake smile.
"We assure you that there is nothing to be worried about, the situation is
under control"
"What happened?" Cas practically shouted. Charlie walked up beside him and
placed a comforting hand on his arm.
"I'm not aloud to say…"
"You don't understand! The person who is renting that room is a friend of mine
and no-ones heard from him since Thursday! Please" Cas's heart got tighter and
tighter as the seconds passed, then the woman sighed.
"The room was broken into" She said and Cas held his breath.
"That's it?"
"nnn… not exactly" Cas waited for her to decide what she could and couldn't
tell him. "There was a man found in the car park who we believe might have
occupied that room but we can't be sure because he didn't have any keys or a
wallet on him and he's refusing to talk"
"Where is he?"
"The hospital"
"What did he look like?" The woman shook her head.
"I wasn't working that night so I didn't see him" Cas nodded stiffly, he
couldn't be sure that the man they found was Dean until he saw him. Cas walked
out of the reception building, his friend thanked the woman before following
him. They got into the car and just sat for a while. Cas wanted to go straight
to the hospital. But he didn't think he could handle getting there and seeing
Dean beaten up like last time… or worse, finding out it wasn't even him and
still not knowing where his friend was.
"Are you okay?" Charlie asked quietly as Cas turned the key and started the
car.
"I'm fine"
"I'm sure that Dean is fine too" Cas nodded and they drove in tense silence.
When they got to the hospital they asked the man behind the desk if anyone had
been brought in on Thursday from the motel who's name they didn't know, he
nodded and gave them the ward and room number. They found the room ten minutes
later and Cas had to take a deep breath before he looked in through the door.
Dean was lying on the bed, asleep and hooked up to machines. His skin was paler
than normal, but other then that he looked how he always did. Cas sighed in
relief and Charlie smiled lightly.
"Do you know him?" Said a nurse who had come over to ask questions. Cas nodded.
"Yes. Is he okay? Why is he here?"
"I'll get a Doctor to answer your questions, but we have a few of our own too.
Would you mind?" Cas nodded.
"Of course" The nurse got a pen and clipboard and began to ask questions about
who Dean was, who Cas was, how long they'd known each other, his relationship
to Dean… Cas had to think about that one and it hurt when he answered with
'friend'. Then Cas was asked about Dean's family and he told them what little
information he knew. Then the nurse walked off and got a Doctor.
Doctor Ferguson greeted them and led them to a seating area, she looked
saddened when she talked to them, though seemed professionally withdrawn and
Cas thought she might have been putting it on completely.
"Why is Dean here?" Cas asked.
"Normally we aren't supposed to divulge patient information to anyone other
than family, but since we can't get a hold of any of Dean's and you two are the
only ones who have been able to identify him, we feel it necessary to inform
you." Cas nodded and waited for her to continue, "Dean attempted to commit
suicide on Thursday night" Castiel's eyes went wide and the tears he'd been
holding in all day escaped his eyes, Charlie held his hand in hers and they
shared a saddened look. His body was overrun with emotions that he couldn't
begin to describe.
Cas tried to swallow past the lump in his throat but found it impossible, the
woman offered him a tissue which he took and she carried on.
"The police found him quiet soon after his attempt while they were at a crime
scene. Thankfully they were able to get him here in time. He'd however lost a
lot of blood and he had a heart attack because of it; his heart stopped for a
minute but we were able to bring him back"
"If he tried to kill himself then why is he in here and not a psychiatric
ward?" Cas whispered.
"His injuries are too extensive, he needs to be closely monitored in case any
more problems arise. So for now he is safer here under suicide watch then
anywhere else" the Doctor looked at them both sympathetically, "you can go see
him if you'd like" Cas nodded and got up, Charlie stood as well.
"Maybe I should leave" Charlie said sadly, "to give you two some time together"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'll come by to see him tomorrow"
"Thank you" Cas whispered; Charlie nodded and pulled him into a hug. Cas walked
towards the room with the Doctor and looked inside, Dean had barely moved. "How
long can I stay?"
"As long as you'd like. There's no specific visiting hours for suicidal
patents" Cas nodded at her and then walked into the room. He pushed one of the
padded green chairs up next to his friend's bed and just sat watching him. The
Doctor stayed for a little while and then walked away to deal with other
patents. After about an hour Cas walked outside the hospital so he could use
his phone.
He called Gabriel and told him what had happened with Dean and that he was
going to be staying for a while. Then he grabbed some food from the canteen and
walked back up to sit by Dean's side. The nurse who had questioned him earlier
stopped him before he went back into the room to check his bag of food and make
sure there was nothing Dean could use to kill himself in there. The moment she
said that Cas's whole body tightened and tears built once more behind his eyes.
He pushed the bag to her immediately, not wanting to help Dean to die in any
way. She looked through the bag, opened the Styrofoam pot containing his pasta
and passed it back to him, satisfied. Half an hour later Dean woke up.
The man groaned in pain and lifted his hand to rub at his eyes. Cas gasped when
he saw the bandages that covered the arm and sank back into his seat in grief
that he hadn't been able to help. Dean slowly opened his eyes and looked at Cas
with a dazed expression. He groggily sat up in his bed, rubbing at his eyes
some more and yawned.
"What are you doing here?" Dean asked him softly.
"I came to visit you"
"Why?" The surprise that Dean expressed at Castiel caring for him hurt. He
remembered what Dean had told him about how he grew up and wondered how much
love he'd really been showed after his Mum had died. His heart squeezed in
grief once again and he found it hard to talk, he took a sip from his bottle
contain orange juice and tired to push down the lump in his throat. He knew it
wouldn't stay gone for long though.
"Because you tried to kill yourself." Silence. Dean looked away from him. "Why
wont you tell me what's going on?" Cas asked, though he was almost positive now
that Dean's father had physically abused him.
"You don't want to know" Dean whispered.
"Yes, I do" Dean shook his head and looked away stubbornly, "well, I am not
leaving until you tell me"
"Then I hope that chair is comfy 'cause you'll be waiting a while"
                                   [] [] []
Dean stared at his sleeping friend; Cas really hadn't left, he'd been by his
side for the best part of three days. He rarely even left the room unless he
was sure that Dean was asleep, and he only ever seemed to leave to grab some
food or a quick shower in the nurses lounge that he had somehow been able to
talk himself into. Tears slipped from Dean's eyes as he sat in deep thought; he
had been trying to avoid being a burden and now he was more so then ever.
"I'm sorry" he whispered. It wasn't just aimed at Cas, but everyone he had ever
wronged; that was a lot of people.
"Dean?" Cas replied groggily, obviously not as asleep as he had assumed. Cas's
voice was deeper when he was just waking up, he didn't realise just how much
he'd missed that voice until he couldn't hear it anymore. Castiel sat up on the
sofa that was at the far end of the room and looked at him but Dean didn't dare
meet his former boyfriend's eyes and so instead he dropped his gaze to one of
his bandages as he fiddled with it. "What are you sorry for Dean?"
"Everything" Cas waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. Cas rubbed his
eyes from sleep and looked around. It was almost midnight on the Thursday and
he seemed to realise for the first time that Dean had been there for a week
now, one whole week, and there hadn't been a single sight of his family.
"Dean… where's your brother? Or your Dad?" Cas hated the thought of Dean's Dad
being at the hospital with him when he was so sure about him having beaten Dean
to a pulp… but even if he had been the one then he would have at least shown up
to act like a loving Father.
"They're hunting"
"Please don't lie Dean. Please" He met his gaze.
"I'm not"
"Oh… when are they getting back?" Dean couldn't stop his tears from falling as
he thought about how he would never see them again. Cas moved from the sofa to
sit on the chair by his bed.
"Please tell me what happened"
"You wouldn't understand"
"Please"
"Cas, even if I did tell you then you can't help… so why even try?"
"Because… if you never try then you will never know"
"You're so damn weird" Dean breathed out and smiled weakly.
"I am aware" Blue and green eyes locked onto each other, "please, Dean. I know
you're worried about being a 'burden'" Cas said, quoting a conversation that
they'd had earlier where Dean told him that he felt like he was worth nothing.
"But trust me when I tell you that if you don't let me try to help and then
kill yourself…" Cas had to pause to take a deep breath, "then I will never
forgive myself for letting it happen." They stared at each other for a moment
and then Dean nodded, his resolve finally broke and he told Cas about his life.
Everything about his life. At some point Cas reached down and took his hand,
rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. By the time he'd finished, he was a
sobbing mess.
Dean cried for many reasons; he grieved his Mother, he feared his Father, he
feared for his brother… but most of all he'd missed Cas much more than he'd
realised. But now he was here and Dean could see a light at the end of the
tunnel. He could see a future. Castiel simply wrapped him into a hug and held
him as his body shook with tears.
"Cas, I'm ruining your shirt"
"Shh… you're worth so much more to me than a damn shirt. You're worth more than
you'll ever know. I love you Dean" Cas shut his mouth abruptly after he'd
spoken… he hadn't meant to say it out loud.
"You shouldn't"
"So you don't love me?" Cas asked, only half joking.
"I love you more than anything… how could I not"
 
***** Chapter 18 *****
Dean took a deep calming breath as Cas walked away. He said he would come back
in a couple of hours… he promised. But Dean couldn't help thinking it was a
lie. He looked scantily around the small room for a few moments, briefly
glancing towards the Doctor who stood by his bed before his eyes, once again,
landed on the door that Castiel had exited from. It was Saturday morning and
Doctor Ferguson had given him the choice to stay in the ward for a few more
days or get transferred to the mental health centre that was attached to the
hospital; Cas and Charlie had convinced him to transfer and he'd done just that
only moments ago when the Doctor told his friends they had to leave for him to
assess Dean's mental health. His heart ached in his chest as he wondered
whether this would be the last time he'd see his friends. Wondering if they had
dumped him here to get rid of him, guilt free, and never come back. He wouldn't
blame them.
The Doctor, a tall man with ash blonde hair and red horned-rimmed glasses, was
scribbling something down on a notepad as he hummed quietly to himself. Dean
couldn't remember the man's name, he didn't really pay attention, but he knew
from the all too happy way that he carried himself that Dean would hate him.
"Would you mind taking a seat on the bed for me" The doctor said as he lowered
himself into a chair and Dean sat down "So, Dean… can I call you Dean?"
"That is my name" he grumbled back and the Doctor nodded and made a note in his
book, probably something about his attitude.
"So, Dean, how are you feeling today?" Dean resisted the urge to roll his eyes
and sigh at the question, knowing it wouldn't do any good for him.
"I'm tired"
"Mmhhhm" the man mumbled and scribbled something down in his notebook, "I was
told that you had insomnia. Is that still the case?"
"They gave me something for it… it doesn't work that great but it helps a
little bit"
"Hmmm, okay. I'll see about upping the dosage. So, other than tired, how do you
feel?"
"I'm fine" Dean replied and the Doctor studied him for a moment.
"I see" he mumbled to himself as he jotted something down on the pad that was
definitely not about how fine Dean was. He lifted his head and met Dean's eyes.
"Dean, I understand that you may feel unwilling to open up to me, especially on
your first day. It's completely normal to feel this way. But I have to tell you
that the best way to recovery would involve talking about how you feel and why
you attempted suicide… it helps us to understand you better and come up with
the best treatment plan that will work for you." The Doctor stared at him with
calm brown eyes and tried to will Dean to open up… which just made Dean feel
like cringing and closed himself off.
The Doctor seemed to realise that Dean wasn't going to elaborate on his answer
just yet and so continued with his questioning. He asked about Dean's family
and friends. About his mindset over the past several months. About drinking and
other drugs that Dean may have taken. The questioning took about half an hour,
then there was a physical examination. He looked over bruises and scars, old
and new, and asked how each one had happened. Throughout the whole time he was
constantly taking notes on Dean's answers, most probably about his lack of
answers. Because Dean didn't tell him… he couldn't bring himself to tell him.
He had barely been able to tell Cas.
After a further ten minutes, the Doctor left Dean in his new room to rest
before dinner.
                                   [] [] []
Cas didn't want to leave, he actually contemplated staying in the waiting room
for the entire three hours that Doctor Brooke had made him promise to stay away
for. But Charlie had forced him to go home, so he did. He had a shower, grabbed
some pop-tarts and emptied his bag of worn clothes into the washing basket.
Gabe had come around on the second day with the bag full of clean clothes so
that he wasn't wearing the same ones. His family had a lot of questions but
thankfully they didn't ask many.
Cas thought back to what Dean had told him and his heart leapt into his throat;
he didn't know how Dean had been able to keep sane, Cas supposed it must have
been for his little brother's sake.
Castiel had made it clear to Dean that, even though they loved each other, it
was probably best that they stay friends while he recovered. But he was already
regretting it. Cas had completely forgiven Dean for everything that had
happened and, now more than ever, he just wanted to comfort the boy that he
loved.
In some ways he didn't want Dean to go to the mental health centre, because he
knew that once that happened there would be more strict rules to follow. Cas
wouldn't be able to just sit around by Dean's bed anymore; there were visiting
hours to stick by… but it was completely selfish to think of it in that way.
Dean was better off somewhere where they'd treat his depression instead of just
his injuries…
Cas looked down at the his hand where his ring sat. He'd worn it everyday
before they broke up, and then he'd kept it in his pocket. And then once Dean
had told him the truth he started wearing it again. Because it meant a lot to
him. From the moment he'd seen it he'd hoped that one day he'd be able to get
Dean's name engraved on it like his was. Cas laughed to himself, he knew it was
a very sappy thing to think about but he still hoped that he'd grow old with
Dean and they'd be together for the rest of their lives. Maybe adopt a couple
of kids… they'd be happy.
Anna messed up his hair as she walked past him to grab a bowl of cereal and he
smiled up at her. It was just one of the small gestures that him and his
siblings shared that showed they loved each other, and probably one that Dean
never got after his Mum died. Cas decided that if he ever got the chance to,
then he would be the person to show them to him.
The three hours passed shorter then he expected them to and he was soon on his
way to meet Dean at the hospital. He remembered his room off by heart and
walked straight there. But Dean wasn't inside. Castiel frowned and walked
around a bit until he came across the patient canteen. Then he saw him. He was
sitting at the table, staring down at his bowl as he stirred a spoon in the
soup over and over again. Cas walked in and sat down next to him.
Dean lifted his head towards the sound of a chair being pulled back and a smile
broke across his face when he saw that it was Cas.
"Hello Dean"
"Hey Cas!" Dean said happily and turned his body to face him.
"How do you like this place?"
"Oh I, er… it's different" Dean settled on and Castiel cast his eyes down to
the bowl of soup about to ask if it was any good when Dean shook his head and
dropped the spoon. "Food's terrible"
"Well at least you're no-longer restricted in where you can go. You can leave
your room"
"Yeah, that's a nice change. I suppose" Dean replied and Cas was starting to
get worried at his sullen answers.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking about Sam"
"Oh" was all Cas could think to say in return. Dean's little brother was a sore
spot to talk about. "Did you tell the Doctors?" He finally managed to ask and
Dean just shook his head. "You know that you should tell somebody… they could
help." He didn't get a response this time.
Cas stayed with Dean for as long as he could, but eventually the visiting hours
came to an end and he was forced to leave. He gave the younger boys hand a
squeeze as he left and promised to return tomorrow.
                                   [] [] []
The next day when Cas came to visit he once again found Dean sitting in the
food hall.
"You know for someone who complains about the food you seem to spend a lot of
time in here," Cas joked as he sat down. He saw that the plate sitting in front
of Dean was practically empty this time with just had the remnants of pasta
still there and sighed in relief. After seeing the full bowl of soup yesterday
he had started to worry that Dean was going to stop eating all together, but
that wasn't the case.
"I don't like my room" Dean said sullenly and Cas frowned.
"Why not?"
"It…" the boy took a deep breath and let it out slowly as though he was in
pain, "it reminds me of Sam. He went through this one phase when he was younger
when he wanted to be a doctor, so we got him all these kits and everything. And
for months every one of our motel rooms would reek of disinfectant. It's not so
bad in here, you can't smell it because of the food… but it's much stronger in
the rooms." Dean said with a sad look on his face and Cas placed a hand on top
of the younger boy's and nodded sympathetically. He'd also noticed the smell of
disinfectant was stronger here than the rest of the hospital, but he hadn't
know it would affect Dean this much.
Dean had only been there for a few days and so he wasn't allowed the extra
privileges, like being able to walk outside when it wasn't scheduled. So
instead they just sat in the canteen for the next two and a half hours. Cas
tried to get Dean to open up to the psychiatrists, but he could see that Dean
wasn't going to do it. It was getting close to time for Cas to leave and so he
was glaring at the clock when Dean told him that he wasn't going to stay there
anymore.
"Dean, you know that you can't sign yourself out… you're sixteen"
"I'm seventeen. And anyway who said anything about signing out… I'm more than
capable of just walking out. It's not exactly heavy security around here" Dean
said with a pointed look around the near-empty room. "And I'm only telling you
because I love you." Dean said and Cas's replied was drowned out by the sound
of the bell signalling the end of visiting hours. He frowned and got up.
"Fine. But at least wait a day or two… for me?" Cas said and looked at Dean in
the eye before the younger boy nodded. They hugged goodbye and then Cas left.
Cas didn't know what he was going to do, but he couldn't let Dean break out of
there. He contemplated telling the staff about his plans, but figured that if
he did that, Dean might never tell him something like this again. He didn't
want to break his trust. So Cas did the only other thing he could think of and
he rang Charlie.
                                   [] [] []
Monday was the first day that Cas had been to school in almost a week and every
minute of it was achingly slow. He wished he could just leave and return to
Dean, but even if he did he wouldn't be able to see him because of the stupid
visiting hours. But, if everything went how he wanted it to then he wouldn't
have to worry about them anymore. The moment school finished he dropped Charlie
off at her house as a 'thank you for helping' and then rushed to the hospital
to find Dean. When Cas got to there he had about half an hour of waiting until
the start of visiting hours to decide on the exact words to say.
Cas didn't waste time checking Dean's room, instead he went straight to the
canteen. Dean was slouched in one of the chairs, he had a pack of cards in his
hands but Cas could tell he was waiting for him to show up. He sat down
opposite him and smiled.
"Hey Cas. Look what I won." Dean said as he waved the pack of cards. "This guy
was playing poker earlier and bet the pack that he could beat me" Dean said as
he began to shuffle, "I wont keep them. It's pretty boring in here so I'll give
them back before I leave"
"So you're still planning on leaving?"
"Yeah" Dean said in a quiet tone and looked up at Cas "I know you don't like
it, but… I can't stay here anymore"
"Okay… Michael's going to sign you out"
"Why?"
"Because I asked him"
"I thought you'd be against this"
"I'm against you being alone. And if this place isn't working then we'll find
something that does" Cas said quietly and Dean smiled and looked like he was
going to speak but Cas raised his hand to stop him, "but this only happens if
you agree to two rules."
"Name them"
"Number 1: you see a therapist three times a week until they decide that you
don't have to anymore" Cas said and Dean nodded. "Number two: you're staying at
my house from now on"
"I don't know Cas, I don't want to be a burden"
"Don't talk like that. You're never a burden" Cas said and they stared into
each other's eyes for a long time before Dean once again lowered his gaze to
the pack of cards in his hands.
"Okay. So, wanna play some poker?"
"I've never played before"
"It's easy. I'll show you"
Dean and Cas spent the next hour playing poker with biscuits that Cas bought
from one of the hospital shops. Then Michael text him saying that he was at the
front desk and so they went to meet him. But just before they got there Cas
pulled Dean to a stop.
"What is it Cas?"
"If we're going to do this for you then I need know something"
"Anything"
"I need to know that you're not going to do this again"
"I wont"
"Promise me. Promise me that you'll talk to me. Promise me you wont lie" Cas
said in a sad voice and Dean placed his hands on Cas's shoulders looking down
into the blue eyes.
"Cas, those were the worst mistakes of my life. I promise you that I'll learn
from them" he said, completely sarcasm free.
 
***** Chapter 19 *****
The next morning was Tuesday and Dean woke up to the smell of bacon wafting in
the air. He smiled lazily as he unravelled himself from his blankets. He ran a
hand through his hair and clambered off the blow-up mattress, sparing a look at
the bed that was next to him to find that Cas was no-longer there, which
disappointed Dean to no end; Cas's voice when he'd just woken up was deeper and
rougher than any other time. And Dean just loved to hear it.
He jogged down the stairs and towards the beautiful smell to find Lucifer in
the kitchen standing over a frying pan.
"Morning" the older boy said and Dean smiled at Cas's brother, "didn't expect
you up and about this early." Dean shrugged and made his way towards the kettle
to switch it on; he hadn't checked the time yet but considering that Luke
wasn't yet at work it had to be before eight.
"I'm not sleeping too good" Dean said simply and heard the sounds of someone on
the stairs. Cas walked into the kitchen and smiled at the two already in there.
He was back to wearing his usual smart shirt and dark jeans and Dean assumed he
would grab the trench coat when he left as well. The boy's hair was damp from
the shower he'd just taken and sticking up at all ends from the quick towel
drying. He looked and smelled amazing.
Dean dropped his gaze from the gorgeous boy in front him to the cupboard as he
pulled out a second mug for his ex-boyfriend.
"Do you want coffee or hot chocolate?" Dean asked as he began to check through
the flavour sachets and pulled out a caramel hot chocolate.
"White chocolate if you would" Cas said as he pulled a plate from a different
cupboard and waited for the bacon to finish frying. Dean made the drinks and
placed them at the table while he marvelled at how easy it was to slip into
this domesticity. He could picture himself in ten years time; making breakfast
for his family and greeting Cas with a drink and a kiss after the man's shower.
Dean found it so weird to be able to picture so far in his future when just a
week ago he couldn't picture a tomorrow. And it was all because of Cas; he'd
helped Dean to see that there were some things worth fighting to keep and that
no-matter how bad things got, it could always be fixed if you try hard enough.
Dean looked at the boy in questioned as he sat eating a bacon buttie and felt a
mixture of happiness and sadness. He wanted nothing more in that moment to then
kiss those plump cracked lips. But he knew that he couldn't. Not yet anyway. He
sat down next to his ex-boyfriend and sipped his hot chocolate when Luke put a
plate down in front of him. He looked down at the bacon sandwiches and back to
Cas's brother.
"You didn't have to…"
"Nonsense" Luke interrupted before returning back to the frying pan, "you're
basically family." Dean stared after him for a little longer, he'd been looking
after Sam for as long as he could remember and it felt weird to be on the
receiving end. Cas smiled and pushed the ketchup towards Dean. It was almost
quarter to eight and he needed to leave for school in a minute if he wanted to
pick up Charlie and still get there on time… but he didn't want to leave Dean.
Lucifer scoffed down his own sandwiches and gave them a wave goodbye as he left
for work. Michael had already gone and Gabriel, after having repeat two
different years at school, had finally been able to graduate and was now
working late shifts as the chef at a restaurant and so was still in bed,
meaning that once Cas left Dean would be all alone for hours. He just couldn't
have that; he rushed out the room with a promise he'd be back in a second and
jogged up the stairs. He stood in front of Gabriel's door and knocked loudly.
"Go away" Came a muffled shout from inside the room.
"I need you to get up" Cas said and he heard a heavy sigh.
"What will you pay me?"
"I'll buy you a chocolate bar on my way back from school"
"Make it two"
"Fine" Cas said, exasperated. "Will you just get up?" There was a creak of
bedsprings and a thud before Gabe opened the door. "Thank you. Can you go keep
Dean company?"
"Why don't you? He's your boyfriend" Gabe said without thinking and then looked
apologetically at Castiel, "sorry" he said quickly, "you know how I am in he
mornings. I don't have a filter" Cas just smiled.
"Gabe, you never have a filter" he said playfully and walked back down stairs.
If anyone had said that to him a week ago then Cas wouldn't have been so
nonchalant… but he was okay now. Him and Dean loved each other and once he'd
got better they would be together again..
When he got back to the kitchen he took a moment to admire the perfection of
the man sitting at the table. Dean looked up and met his gaze. Their eyes
stayed locked for several moments before Cas's phone rang inside his pocket,
making him jump a mile. They both laughed and Cas was smiling as he answered
the call.
"Hey, where are you?" Charlie said on the other side and Cas frowned lightly.
"I'm just about to leave. Why?" Cas answered and heard his best friend chuckle.
"Let me guess; you can't get some and so you're back to eye-fucking his brains
out?" Charlie asked and Cas blushed beet red, but before he could answer she
continued. "We're late. So stop undressing him with your eyes and come get me…
unless you are actually undressing him. In that case I'll walk"
"I'm on my way" Cas answered and looked back up to see Dean's silent laughter.
"You're phone is kinda loud you know?" Dean said which rejuvenated Cas's fading
blush.
"I need to go" Cas said after a mortified second, "Gabe is getting up so he
should be down soon. I'll see you later" he said with a smile and then
disappeared out the front door with his bag; after a moment the door opened
once more as he grabbed his trench coat and then left. Dean stared after the
boy he loved and smiled lightly to himself, for the first time in a long time
he felt happy. He looks down at his wrists and pulls his long sleeves up to
stare at the red puffy scars, a constant reminder of how bad his life had got.
Gabriel dragged himself into the kitchen and collapsed onto a chair, his face
lying on the cold wood of the table.
"Coffee" he says, pleadingly and Dean rolled his eyes before getting up and
turning the kettle back on. "Five sugars" Gabe continued in the same voice.
After Dean has done making the teeth-rottingly sweet liquid he settles it onto
the table in front of his favourite of Cas's brothers. Then Gabe's phone
vibrated loudly in his pocket and he took it out, read a text and then sighed
loudly.
"What's that about?"
"It's from this waitress at the restaurant. We really like each other and I
want to ask her out but…"
"But what?" Dean asked after several moments of silence.
"But we don't really have all that much in common. I don't think it'd work"
"Well, if you like her then isn't it at least worth a shot"
"I suppose" Gabe mumbled as he took a sip of his coffee and sighed.
"So what's her name?"
"Kali Sharma"
"Kali?" Dean said, "as in the Goddess? Seriously… what's with the names in this
town" he said with a laugh and Gabe glared at him for a while before chuckling
himself.
                                   [] [] []
When Cas came home after school he brought two mars bars as promised. He heard
the TV on in the front living room and so went straight in there to see Gabriel
passed out on the sofa with Blade playing on the large screen. Cas panicked
when Dean wasn't in there and ran to the kitchen where he saw his former
boyfriend pouring himself a drink of orange juice.
"Hey. I didn't hear you come in" Dean said before Castiel jumped forwards and
pulled him into a bear hug.
"Don't do that again" he mumbled into the taller boy's shirt.
"Don't do wha-" Dean began to ask but Cas pulled their lips together,
swallowing the words. Dean wrapped his arms around the youngest Novak and
pulled him as close as possible while his chest burned with love and desire.
"Cas," he moaned into the kiss as the boy's hands slipped onto his ass, giving
it a squeeze. Dean's tongue skirted along the roof of Castiel's mouth, getting
reacquainted with his ex-boyfriend's taste.
Cas groaned and pushed Dean back against the counter while he grinded into him,
they were both beginning to grow hard which was Cas's queue to end the kiss.
They couldn't go any further with his brother in the next room. The pair broke
apart and stared dreamingly into each other's eyes.
"What was that for?" Dean whispered, unwilling to break the warm atmosphere
that engulfed the two of them.
"I couldn't find you…" Cas's reply faded off, implying everything that had been
running through his mind and so Dean placed his hand to the back of the
youngest Novak's head and gently raised it to meet his lips.
The kiss was different to the other; it was slower and made up of many warm,
peppered kisses. It wasn't filled with erotic moans and grinding, just soft
caresses and a loving embrace. When it was over both the boys were breathless.
"I should… erm… wake Gabriel up" Cas whispered softly and walked towards his
older brother. Gabe was still passed out on the sofa when he got into the
living room and so he threw the mars bars onto his lap as hard as he could. The
older Novak jumped and opened his eyes to glare at Cas before opening one of
the chocolate wrappers and scoffing it. "Do it again tomorrow and you'll get
another two bars and" Cas put his hands into his bag and pulled out a red
family-sharing packet which he proceeded to wave in his brother's face, "a bag
of maltesers." Gabriel grabbed the red packet with a grin and nodded in
agreement.
"No problem" he mumbled with his mouthful.
                                   [] [] []
The more that Castiel thought about their kiss the more he came to regret it.
Dean wasn't ready to get into their relationship again. He was still depressed
and refused to talk to anyone other than Cas about his past.
Night time seemed to come too soon and Cas got nervous to the point of nauseous
at the thought of telling Dean that they still couldn't be together. But as it
turned out, he didn't have to say a word. Dean took his medication just before
he went upstairs to bed and Cas followed him. Once Dean noticed the look on his
former boyfriend's face he fully understood what Cas was going to say. It hurt
them both, but they knew it would be for the best.
Castiel's mind was very active that night and refused to let him rest. He
needed to help Dean, to find someone who Dean would trust enough to speak to.
In the end Cas only could think of two people who Dean had told him about that
the eldest Winchester would trust. So the next day Cas took Dean's phone from
the floor next to the blow up mattress; after unlocking it he scrolled through
the contacts and wrote a number on a piece of paper. Castiel then put the phone
back down before getting ready for school.
                                   [] [] []
On Thursday morning Dean was sat in a large office. The room was filled with
warm colours and supposed-soothing paintings. The couch he was sitting on was a
soft brown leather and rather comfy, he could feel himself sink into it. It was
his first psychiatrist appointment since he got out of the hospital and it was
daunting. Dean wanted so hard to impress the woman sitting in front of her, he
needed her to allow him to keep living with Cas.
Granted, it had been a bit awkward between them after the kiss, but it didn't
really bother him, he was too happy being able to see the boy he loved every
day. The psychiatrist scanned through a file with Deans name on before lifting
her eyes to meet his. Her face was filled with compassion and she smiled warmly
at him.
"So, Dean. Would you like to run through what you told your last psychiatrist?"
She asked and Dean replied with what little information his previous therapist
had managed to get out of him.
"My Dad found out I was Bi and he beat me up, then he left town" The words were
said in an emotionless monotone.
"That must be very difficult to have to go through" she replied softly, "have
the police been informed?"
"The Doc' wanted to tell them but I said I'd deny it if he did"
"And why is that?" She asked and Dean shrugged, the Doctor waited several
seconds before moving on. Throughout the next hour she asked him a lot of
questions. She asked about whether he was enjoying staying with Michael and why
he'd wanted to leave the hospital. He tried his best to answer all the
questions truthfully, but whenever it got back to the subject of his Dad he
found himself unable to tell the truth. He was afraid that if she knew then
he'd be taken away from Cas and forced back into the hospital.
After his session was over he walked out of the office, expecting to find
Gabriel but instead it was Cas.
"I thought you were at school" Dean asked as he approached his ex-boyfriend.
"I thought I'd have the day off and you could tell me how your first session
was" Cas replied in an oddly cheery voice as they walked towards the car park
and the blue Ford. "Did you tell her about your Dad?"
"That he beat me up… but that was about it"
"You're going to have to tell someone eventually" Cas said in a worried voice.
"I know… I just can't help it. It took a lot for me to tell you. And it feels
easier now but… I don't know. I don't know why I can't tell anyone but I just
can't" he replied with a frustrated sigh. Cas momentarily put his hand on
Dean's shoulder to show his support and they smiled at each other before
getting in the car. It was a quiet drive back and neither boy really said
anything. When the car pulled up outside the Novak house Dean looked over at
Cas. A nervous energy seemed to roll off of his ex-boyfriend. He eyed him
suspiciously as they got out the car and walked into the house. Cas unlocked
the door and held it open for Dean who walked in first and went straight into
the front living room.
Then he stopped
Gabriel and Anna were sitting in there with an older man. The man was in his
mid forties and had a gruff exterior, he was wearing an old baseball cap. When
Dean entered the room the man stood up to face him. Everyone was quiet for a
moment and then Dean's face broke out into a smile.
"You gonna just stand there or you gonna hug me, ya idjet"
***** Chapter 20 *****
Dean rushed forwards and pulled his uncle into a bear hug. The man was knocked
back slightly but just chuckled and wrapped his arms around the teenager.
"What are you doing here Bobby?" Dean asked happily.
"Cas told me ya might need some help"
"And you came?"
"Of course I did ya idjet. You're family" Bobby replied as the hug broke apart.
Dean was still grinning from ear to ear and it made Bobby chuckle. "It's good
to see ya boy. Been too long." After the brief reunion Cas went to make dinner
for everybody and Dean followed him into the kitchen.
"Why'd you call him?" Dean asked quietly and Cas, who hadn't known that Dean
was behind him, jumped.
"I just thought that you'd be able to talk to him easier…" Cas replied. He'd
been nervous before Dean had seen Bobby because he wasn't sure how his ex-
boyfriend would react, but then after the hugs and smiles Cas had figured Dean
was happy. Now he wasn't so sure if that had been a lie. The two looked at each
other for several seconds.
"Thank you" Dean said and he left to sit with his Uncle. Cas stared after him
with a soft smile on his face, he'd done the right thing and now everything
would be okay. He just knew it.
Not long after they'd had dinner Bobby pulled Dean aside to talk to him in the
kitchen and Dean didn't even think about lying when he was asked what was
wrong. He told his Uncle everything, just like he had done with Cas. He
stumbled over the bit where he was Bi, unsure how the older man would react
since his Dad hadn't taken it very well. But the anger that Bobby was hiding
wasn't towards Dean.
Bobby waited for the teenager to tell his story then gently took the boy's
wrist and pulled up the sleeve to reveal the red puffy scars, they weren't much
more then scabs at that moment but once they healed they would never disappear
completely.
"I'm gonna kill that Bastard" the gruff older man muttered and pulled Dean into
a hug once more. "You should have called me sooner. You know I'd drop
everything for you and your brother."
Dean let himself be hugged; his Uncle usually showed his love through friendly
insults, that's where him and Sam had learnt it, but now he was being careful
and talking to the boy in the way he knew that Dean needed.
"You're gonna come live with me" Bobby said after a few seconds and Dean wanted
that. He really wanted that. But he didn't want to move again, he was happy in
this town and so he opened his mouth to protest but Bobby just shushed him.
"It's okay. I'll move here. You won't have to leave Cas" Bobby answered and
Dean blushed; he hadn't mentioned that Cas was the one he was in love with but
Bobby was a smart man and had put it together easily enough.
After an hour or so, Bobby returned to his home to get ready for the move. When
he returned the following day he told Dean that he'd bought the car garage,
that Dean used to work at, and had an eye on a couple of houses. But he'd have
to live at a motel until he found one that he really liked. It wasn't the same
one that Dean had lived in before, it was a much nicer one closer to the centre
of town and a place where the residents would actually be concerned if they
heard shouting and objects being thrown at the walls. Dean felt safe there.
                                   [] [] []
Cas hadn't done more than text Dean since the boy had moved on Friday. It was
now Sunday and after all the time they'd spent with each other in the past week
and a half, it felt wrong to be apart for so long. He was getting antsy. His
mind kept jumping to different scenarios where Dean would need his help but not
be sure how to ask for it. He'd find himself walking around the house
aimlessly, worried sick for the safety of the boy he loved. He wasn't just
worrying himself either, he was annoying his siblings. Gabriel was still
working late shifts and had been woken up by Castiel's restlessness. The older
brother had dived out of his room armed with a pillow to whack Cas on the back
of the head with after half an hour of pacing. Cas was just lucky that he was
Gabe's favourite. If it had been one of his other brothers then the pillow
might have been replaced with a book.
After Anna came around mid-Sunday, she managed to distract Cas by asking for
help on her Calculus homework. She was in her senior year, just the year above
him. His mind was running at full speed for a good forty minutes while doing
his sister's homework, but after he'd finished and he was able to think again,
he started to pace once more. Anna sighed and walked out of the room before
returning with his tan coat and car keys.
"Go talk to him" she said and Cas nodded before grabbing his things off his
older sister and leaving the house. Dean had told him which motel he was
staying at and so Cas sped his way there. He stood outside the door with a
number sixteen painted on it and started to loose his nerve. What was he going
to say? He hadn't even rang to ask if he could come over. Cas backed up until
his back was at the other side of the corridor and facing Dean's door. Then it
opened and Cas jumped forwards in shock. Bobby walked out and straight away
noticed the teenager in the warm corridor, he smiled at him and shouted over
his shoulder to Dean, saying that Cas was there. The gruff older man then
walked out of the motel room and down the corridor towards the elevator.
"Hey Cas" Dean said cheerily and motioned for Castiel to enter the motel room.
"I didn't know you were coming over"
"Yeah, er… sorry I should have text or something…"
"Neh it's fine"
"I just… I missed you" Cas said as he walked into the living area of the motel
room and Dean smiled happily.
"I missed you too"
"And I wanted to check up on you… to make sure that you like it here, with
Bobby"
"Definitely. He's a good guy" there was a short pause where neither boy said
anything, they just looked into each others eyes, then Dean broke contact and
went to sit on the sofa, Cas joined him. "I was at the therapist today, told
her what happened" Dean mumbled and Cas sat upright.
"That's great. I guess she's better than your last one"
"Not really. Bobby talked me into telling her. He, erm… he said he wants to
adopt me. Sam too. And that wasn't going to happen without good cause. So…"
Dean said and looked up at him with a smile, which Cas returned. He was really
happy for his ex-boyfriend, he was getting better. Dean's smile was real, there
was still sadness in him, but he was happy too. Cas couldn't take it anymore.
He raised his hand behind Dean's neck and gently pulled their mouths together.
Dean grunted in surprise, but responded eagerly when Cas began to move his
lips, using them to forced Dean's lips to part. But he didn't delve in with his
tongue, not yet. He slid his hand up into Dean's hair, fisting it and tugging
gently. Dean responded with a groan. Castiel's other hand gripped at Dean's
waist to pull the boy closer. The kiss was extensive and filled with longing,
but there was no urgency. They used it to express their emotions; their
happiness, sadness, love. It was all too soon when Dean pulled away to breath.
They rested their foreheads against each other and took loud, deep breaths. Cas
planted several short kisses on Dean's cheeks, nose, chin and lips in between
in his gasps for air. Now he had given in and started kissing Dean, he couldn't
seem to stop. Dean leaned back in for another long open mouthed kiss and Cas
sat up slightly to angle the kiss and deepen it. He sucked Dean's bottom lip
into his mouth and gently worried it between his teeth, drawing gasping breaths
from the boy he loved. Dean ran his tongue against Cas's lips, he licked at his
cheeks and brushed it against the other boy's tongue.
Cas moaned and leant closer to Dean, he fisted his hands into the boy's jeans
and swung his leg over so he could straddle Dean's lap. The new position was
much better and aloud him more access to Dean's mouth. He welcomed the bubbling
pool of heat growing in his lower abdomen and rotated his hips, rubbing denim
against denim.
"Cas" Dean gasped against his lips and Castiel smiled into the kiss. Dean's
hands moved to Cas's hips and he waited for them to rub at the skin under his
shirt or dip into his jeans. But instead they pushed him away. Cas opened his
eyes to see Dean's already open and hiding emotions behind a solid mask, the
green eyes looked like they lusted for him but they contradicted the boy's
movements, his chest felt constricted at Dean's rejection and he swallowed
thickly. "We just -" Dean started and stopped, his voice was dry and sad, "-
you - I don't want you to regret this"
Cas took a little too long to realise what Dean was saying and he shook his
head immediately.
"I could never regret you… I regret many things Dean; I regret pushing you
away, I regret not being there when you needed me the most, I regret acting
like everything was fine when I knew there was something wrong. But I have
never and I will never regret you. I love you Dean and I want to be with you"
While Cas was talking Dean's mask softened and slipped away completely to
reveal all his emotions. Every single one flicked across his face; his anger
towards his Dad, his sadness and his own regret. And then his face turned warm,
the other emotions were there, but they were hidden away underneath his growing
happiness and his love.
Cas dipped his head again and drew closer into a soft, loving kiss.
"I want to be your boyfriend again" Cas murmured against Dean's lips and he
felt the smile that grew on them, followed by a mumbled 'yes'. The kiss
deepened and the next time they pulled away was for air, Dean kept nodding and
smiling as he repeated his answer to Cas, and more.
"You're the only one that I won't, Cas. I love you" Dean brought his lips down
his Cas's jaw, "I love you" he murmured against the sensitive skin. He trailed
kissed across the stubble and down Cas's neck as he repeated those same three
words over and over again. Cas gasped as Dean bit tenderly at his neck, he
kissed and licked at the spot as his words faded away to leave the room quiet
of everything except their kisses and sharp gasps of pleasure. Cas rolled his
jean-clad erection into Dean's hips which created enough friction to make his
dick twitch against the restraining fabric.
Cas was overcome by need and moved his hands across from where they rested on
Dean's hips towards the front of his boyfriend's zipper. He needed Dean more in
that moment then he ever had before. He continued to rock his hips forwards as
he worked at Dean's jeans, it made it a little trickier but he just couldn't
stop the friction . His fingers stumbled on his boyfriend's belt and Dean
batted them away so he could undo it instead. Cas forced himself to stop the
rocking of his hips and lifted himself so he was kneeling instead of sitting on
Dean's lap as the boy swiftly removed his jeans and boxers in one go. Then Dean
grabbed a hold of Cas's waist and pushed him to lie on his back on the sofa.
Dean jumped up off the furniture and tugged at Cas's own clothing. Castiel
shrugged off his coated and unbuttoned his shirt as his eyes wandered up and
down Dean's body. He'd forgotten just how glorious the sight really was, Dean
was still wearing a top and that needed to change, soon, but Cas had a great
view of his boyfriend's lower body. His erect penis was sticking out underneath
the black shirt and was throbbing a red that matched Dean's lips and glistening
with precum at the tip. He licked his lips and thrust his hips slowly, trying
to find friction but only getting the slightest bit as his denim-clad cock
brushed at Dean's wrist as the boy pulled away his jeans and boxers. The cool
air was a welcomed sensation as his penis was removed from the restricting
fabric.
The second that he was free Cas leant forwards and grabbed at the cotton of
Dean's Pink Floyd shirt. He pulled it up and over Dean's head and was finally
able to fully admire the golden skin for the first time in three weeks. Dean
was still squatting on the floor next to the sofa with Cas sitting up on his
elbows, they were just staring at each other's bodies. It made Cas's skin
tingle under Deans longing gaze and he shifted. It felt good to be with Dean
but just looking wasn't enough. They could do that later, right now he needed
to touch. He leant towards Dean and kissed him passionately, he sat up on the
sofa and pulled Dean up too. But Dean didn't move onto the sofa with Cas,
instead he leant over him for a few seconds before pulling away slightly.
"I don't have any lube" he murmured and Cas sighed in annoyance, he didn't have
either. But he needed more than just hand or blowjobs.
"Spit" Cas said quickly and pulled Dean back down for another kiss. To his
surprise Dean lowered himself onto his knees in between Cas legs. Dean kissed
down from Castiel's lips to his stomach. He mouthed the skin above his erection
and Cas gasped a moan. Dean smirked up at his face as he lowered his mouth to
lick Cas's erection. It was a slow swipe of tongue from the base to apex. Dean
waited a second and then began to lick at the base, coating it in his saliva.
Cas was panting heavily and unconsciously jutted his hips forward. Dean
gathered more saliva on his tongue and licked at the apex. Cas's head leaked
precum into Dean's mouth but he didn't react to the strong taste. Dean then
slowly lowered his mouth to take in the remainder of Cas's dick. He didn't
spend too much time coating the rest of his dick before he pulled of with a wet
plop.
Cas didn't notice he'd closed his eyes but when he opened them he saw Dean with
his arm reaching behind himself as he stretched himself open. The sight made
Cas's dick throb insistently and he had to force himself not to touch.
The second that Dean had finished and removed his hand Cas grabbed at him and
pulled him onto the sofa. It hadn't taken more than a minute and Castiel had to
wonder if Dean had already been opening himself up as he gave him the blowjob,
but that was at the back of his mind. His foremost thoughts were tainted with
lust and love. He couldn't wait any longer. Dean spun himself around so he was
kneeling on his arms and knees on the sofa. Cas didn't waste any more time as
he lent over his boyfriend and slowly pushed inside of him. Dean gasped at
being entered and so Cas took it slow. He tenderly rocked into him as he went
further inside until he was fully sheathed. Then he waited for Dean's breaths
to become less pained. Once he noticed his boyfriend's back muscles relax he
began to move inside him. It was slow thrusts at first, but they soon became
more erratic. His pace became hard and fast and Dean shouted out his name in
pleasured moans. Cas felt the bubbling in his lower stomach reach it's highest
point and knew it wouldn't be long until he came. So he moved his hand from
where it squeezed at Dean's hip and grasped at his boyfriend's dick. A few
strokes of Dean's erection was all it took to have the boy underneath him
quivering and shooting his cum into Cas's hand.
The muscles around Castiel's erection tightened as Dean orgasmed and brought
him over the edge too. They collapsed on top of each other and panted hard. The
smell of sweat and sex filled the air around them and Cas sighed deeply, he had
missed Dean. He had missed this.
Cas rolled and pulled his softening dick out of Dean so they could lie next to
each other. Dean turned onto his back and chuckled breathlessly. He wasn't
laughing at anything in particular, he was just happy and had to let it out.
Cas smiled pulled into him for a soft kiss.
"Bobby will never let you come around again if he walks in to find us like
this" Dean whispered into Cas's ear and slowly sat up. Cas sat up too and
fumbled for his coat pocket as he pulled out his phone to check the time.
"I should probably go. Michael will be home soon and wondering where I am" he
said as he stood up and turned to look at Dean. "Can I see you tomorrow?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way" Dean said instantly and they kissed. Then
they both stumbled around to get their clothes on. Dean opened the window to
air out the room and hopefully remove the smell of sex before Bobby got back
from looking at a new house. When he turned back around Cas was waiting by the
door to say goodbye to him. Dean smirked and kissed him for a long moment then
pulled at Cas's tan coat. "You know I think I'm starting to like trench coats
now"
"Technically it's an overcoat" Cas said with a smile and left through the motel
room door into the carpeted hallway. He felt happy and warm… everything had
finally worked out for the best.
 
***** Epilogue I *****
Dean woke up with the familiar feeling of a warm body in his arms. He smiled
and lowered his head to kiss the mass of dark hair, not bothering to open his
eyes until he heard a deep throaty chuckle. When he did open his eyes, they met
with dark blue ones and he smiled lazily. Cas reached up and kissed Dean's lips
softly. Their mouths opened and their tongues danced. Cas rolled them over so
he was on top of his boyfriend and he kissed down his body. He licked at Dean's
nipples and it drew out a soft whimper from his boyfriend's mouth, he moved his
mouth to kiss and nip at every part of skin in sight. He got to Dean's arms and
kissed slowly down the strong muscles until he neared the scars on Dean's
wrists. His kisses to that part of Dean's skin were always softer and caring,
the scars were a reminder of everything Dean had been through and everything
he'd overcome. Cas sat up suddenly at sounds coming from downstairs which
alerted them to the fact they were no-longer alone in the house.
Dean lifted himself up onto his elbows and looked over at his alarm clock. It
was almost eleven o'clock, they'd slept later then they'd thought. The
teenagers both groaned at the same time, got out of bed and got changed.
Dean and Cas wandered down the stairs towards the kitchen and the family in
there turned to smile at them. It had been over three months since Dean had
left the hospital and the time had flown by. Ellen stood at the hob with a
frying pan and making pancakes while Bobby and Sam sat at the table, Jo was
standing up against the counter on her phone.
"Hey boys" Ellen greeted them as she plated some pancakes and gave them to
Bobby with a kiss. The two adults had met pretty much straight away and started
dating after about a week. After a little while Bobby and Sam would start
sleeping over at their house on a Friday night to give Dean and Cas some time
by themselves.
"Dean!" Sam cried out happily after finishing off his plate of pancakes,
"Bobby's our Dad now!" The boy said and Dean turned to look at his pseudo
Father who smiled and lifted up a large brown envelope.
"Papers came through today"
Dean grinned from ear to ear as he sat down at the table. He didn't know what
to say; Bobby had helped him so much over the past few months. He'd talked Dean
into not only going to his psychiatrist, but also to the police. He'd stood
with him during John's trial and been there for him when he confronted the man
in jail. And it wasn't just himself who he'd taken in, but also Sam; both boys
were equally as messed up, but Bobby love them anyway. For Dean, there was no
question about the man being his Father, he had been for the past three months.
He tried desperately for a way to tell Bobby what he was thinking but the words
didn't come. It was okay though because the older man already knew.
Cas sat down on the other side of Dean and they held hands under the table,
saying thanks to Ellen as she plated their pancakes.
"What time are you heading out?" Ellen asked them as she sat down with her own
breakfast.
"After breakfast. We're going over to Cas's so he can get ready then we're off
to the concert" Dean replied excitedly. He'd been waiting for this Iron Maiden
concert for months now and it was finally here. Jo huffed a laugh at her friend
and, maybe, one day step brother and he turned to glare at her. But she wasn't
really paying attention anymore. She was staring at her phone, waiting. Then
two seconds later a very quiet text alert went off and she started typing a
reply. Dean automatically took up the big brother role of embarrassing his,
maybe, one day younger sibling. "Who you texting?" Dean asked Jo as she smiled
down at her phone, but before she can answer with 'none of your business', or
probably something similar involving rude language and swear words, her Mum
answered for her.
"She has a boyfriend… though she wont tell me who it is." Dean, Sam and Cas
shared a look.
"It's Ash" they answered in synchronicity.
"How do you know?" Jo asked at the same time her Mum muttered something about
killing that damned boy.
"Well he's been in love with you since third grade" Cas answered around a
mouthful of pancakes and Dean huffed a laugh at his boyfriend, kissing him on
the cheek. Jo blushed slightly and then retreated into the living room. Several
minutes later Dean and Cas were finished with their pancakes and so said
goodbye to everyone and left Bobby's house. Which now, Dean supposed, was also
his house. They walked over the drive towards the shiny black muscle car and
Dean grinned. The Impala had been John's but was taken away from him once he
was done for credit card scams on top of everything else. Then the car had been
up for sale. And even though there were a lot of bad memories associated with
the Impala, there were also a lot of very good ones. And so Dean had bought it,
because he wanted to remember them all. He needed the car to remind him of how
bad his life had been, so that he could see how far he'd come; they were as
much a reminder as the scars on his wrists. That and it was beautiful. He loved
this car more than most people.
Dean sat in his baby and ran his hands over the steering wheel as Cas sat in
the passenger seat.
"You done fondling the car?" Cas said with a smirk and Dean shrugged.
"That depends… do I get to fondle you instead"
"If you're lucky" Cas replied and leaned in towards his boyfriend, capturing
his lips for a split second. "I love you"
"I love you too"
***** Epilogue II *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Hey jude, don't make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
Castiel watched in awe from the bedroom doorway as Dean sang the lyrics softly.
Hey jude, don't be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better
Dean had sung this song every night for the past three years, but it always
sent shivers down Castiel's spine at the love that the man had in his eyes. The
complete adoration was mesmorising and he feared the day when their children
would be too old for a bedtime song, because this was one of his favourite
things about being a parent.
And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Dean rocked their youngest son, James, in his arms as the eight month old baby
drifted off to sleep and then he slowly lowered him into his crib. Their other
child, Robert, was three years old and pulled at Castiel's leg in a silent
question to be picked up. Cas smiled and did as he was asked, raising him up so
he could see his sleeping brother. They'd had Robert since he was less than a
week old but only adopted James a week ago after he was left orphaned in a car
crash; Bobby was still fascinated by his younger brother.
Dean continued singing as he walked up to Cas and only took a break to kiss him
on the cheek.
Hey jude, don't let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin,
Youre waiting for someone to perform with.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey jude, you'll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.
Dean sang quietly in Bobby's ear as they walked out of James's nursery and
across the hall into their eldest child's room. Cas lowered Bobby onto his bed
and tucked him in.
"Night, night Daddies" Bobby said as Dean finished his song and the child
closed his eyes.
"Night, Bobby" Dean whispered with a soft kiss to their son's forehead.
"Sleep tight" Cas said quietly and both parents left their child's room
together, leaving the door ajar to let a crack of light in. Cas turned from
Bobby's door to look at his partner; Dean was much taller now and more muscular
than ever. With every passing year he seemed to get more and more handsome and
right now his green eyes shone with a love that encompassed Cas and made his
heart melt. Cas had grown a little too but not nearly as much and he had to
lean up to be able to capture his husbands lips with his own. Dean slipped his
arms around Castiel's waist and pulled him closer and after a few seconds they
broke apart with lazy smiles
"I think we should at least wait to make sure they're really asleep" Dean
whispered into Cas's ear and he just barely resisted hitting him on the arm
playfully. It was still too early for them to go to bed so they walked quietly
down the stairs as they held hands. Right now, life for them was simple. It was
fifteen years almost to the day since they first had met and they had been
married for six years. Their relationship had had it's tricky spots, especially
when Cas had gone away to University to become a Vet and Dean had had no
interest in further education, choosing to become a fire-fighter instead. It
had been hard to maintain the long distance relationship and they had even gone
as far as to break up for a couple of weeks, but Charlie had knocked the sense
back into them and they were both still in her debt for that. Because now they
were happier then they had ever been, and they knew that everything they had
been through was completely worth it when this was the end result.
The two sat cuddled onto the sofa when Dean's phone vibrated on the coffee
table. He reached forward and opened up the text, laughing quietly to himself
when he did.
"Sam's begging us for help with Sophie's terrible twos… she's driving him and
Jess up the walls" Dean laughed again and Cas smiled and placed a kiss onto
Dean's jaw.
"We can ring them tomorrow. This is our time together and I don't plan on
letting anyone interrupt us" Cas muttered against Dean's skin and the taller
man automatically dropped the phone to grab a hold of his husband and pull him
closer.
"Yeah… one more day won't hurt them" Dean said breathlessly as Cas began to
unbutton his shirt and kiss down the strong muscled chest. Cas smirked as he
felt Dean's arousal already hardening and the man moved away to get the lube.
Castiel sat back on the settee and removed his own shirt; he wore two rings now
and they both made a noise as they collided with the plastic of his buttons.
One ring was a simple gold band that sat on his left hand, his wedding ring.
The other was his Christmas present from all those years ago; the golden
sovereign style ring with his name engraved underneath an angel. Now that ring
had three more names engraved onto it; Robert, James and Dean. The names of the
three people he loved the most.
Chapter End Notes
     That's the end, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please leave me a
     comment because they always make me happy and when I have a bad day I
     just look back over them to make myself smile. Also, I would really
     appreciate any positive or negative criticism to help me improve as a
     writer.
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