Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4243734.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Game_of_Thrones_(TV)
  Relationship:
      robb/sansa, Robb_Stark/Sansa_Stark
  Character:
      Jon_Snow, Robb_Stark, Sansa_Stark, Margaery_Tyrell, Arya_Stark, Bran
      Stark, Rickon_Stark
  Additional Tags:
      Incest, Implied_Joffrey/Sansa, some_underage, Like_17, Modern, AU,
      Sibling_Incest, explicit_-_Freeform
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-06-30 Completed: 2015-08-30 Chapters: 35/35 Words: 76616
****** I Think We're Alone Now ******
by Janina
Summary
     Robb and Sansa had started an affair until a car accident stole
     Sansa's memories of them. Robb went away for 5 years to get his life
     in order and allow Sansa to get hers in order as well. Now he is
     back...
***** Chapter 1 *****
“Are you excited to see your brother again?” Catelyn Stark asked her daughter
over breakfast that morning.
Sansa finished taking a sip of her orange juice and shrugged. She put her glass
down and tossed some of her auburn hair over her shoulder. “Sure.” She knew
that response was lacking any enthusiasm, but she felt as though she didn’t
really know her older brother (by two years) much anymore despite how everyone
told her that she and Robb had been very close pre-accident. The accident that
had stolen most of her memories.
“I’m excited,” Bran, her younger brother said.
“Me too,” Arya chimed in.
“I am too,” Rickon said, even though he remembered even less than Sansa being
that he’d been all of ten when Robb had left.
Sansa didn’t say anything mainly because she didn’t know what to say. Robb
leaving hadn’t affected her that much since she’d had so many gaps in her
memory at the time. She remembered Robb now, but some things were still hazy as
he hadn’t been there to fill in the blanks. He almost felt like a ghost to her.
Actually, her whole family had been a bit of a mystery to her at the time. The
accident had done a doozy all right. She didn’t know how many times she’d heard
she was lucky to be alive. Robb, too. There had been someone else as well, some
asshole named Joffrey that had ended up crippled after he’d run her and Robb
off the road. Apparently, Joffrey had been her boyfriend at the time and he’d
smacked her around.
This is what she’d been told anyway. Sansa didn’t remember any part of the
accident. She didn’t even remember Joffrey. Whatever she could see play out in
her head when she thought of it, she was sure it was just because the story of
it had snuck into her subconscious after being told what happened so many
times.
“I know it’s been five years, but I still can’t believe he left us,” Arya said.
She’d been sixteen when Robb had left.
“He didn’t leave us,” Catelyn said. “He’s been busy figuring his life out.”
“Did he not have it figured out while he was here?” Bran asked. He’d been
fourteen at the time.
Catelyn looked like she was considering this. “Not really. He was floundering.
He had no goals. No ambition beyond working as a library clerk.”
Something niggled at the back of Sansa’s mind as she tried to remember more
clearly that time in all their lives. He’d been waiting for me to finish high
school, she thought. He wanted us to go away together. Was that right though?
She wasn’t sure. So, she said nothing.
“Sansa? You all right, dear?”
Sansa looked at her mother’s worried blue eyes – blue eyes that were much like
hers (minus the worry)—and smiled. “I’m fine, Mom.”
“You went away for a minute,” Catelyn said.
Sansa shrugged. “I’m here. I was thinking that I needed to go to the library
for a while actually. I have a paper to work on.”
Catelyn smiled. “Just be back for your brother. He’s due to arrive around
four.”
Sansa nodded and pushed her chair back. She stood and grabbed her breakfast
dishes. “Sure thing.”
xxxxxxxx
Sansa cursed under her breath when she saw the black sports car in the driveway
that had to be Robb’s. She was late, by at least an hour. She’d lost track of
time while surfing journal articles for her child psychology class for her
paper. Then her friend Jon had caught up with her, doing research for his own
paper and they’d got to talking for a couple hours.
When Sansa had left the library, she’d had a dozen texts from her mother, Bran,
and Arya. All of them wondering where she was. Robb was there, they’d all said.
Robb was home and wanted to see her. Robb was home. Robb was home. Robb was
home. Since her brother had announced he was coming home two months ago, that
was all Sansa heard about. Her mother had gone nuts preparing the finished
basement for him and turning it into a mini-apartment. Sansa wasn’t sure why
Robb just couldn’t have had his old bedroom. Sure his room had changed into a
guest room then into the catch-all of crap that no one wanted to find a home
for. All they’d needed to do was clean it out and he could have had his old
room. But no, instead he got a whole new room in the basement.
She felt bad for feeling almost ambivalent about his return. She found it odd,
too, that she should be nervous about seeing him at the same time.
She slung her purse and computer bag over her shoulder and pulled her hair out
from under the straps as she hurried up the path to the house. She wondered
when her father would be coming home. If she remembered correctly, he had a
case in court that day. He might not be home until late.
She stepped inside the house and toed off her shoes. “I’m home!” she called
out.
She heard laughter, then footsteps.
“Sansa.”
She looked up as she set her computer bag and purse on the floor. Robb stood
there, hands at his sides, wearing jeans and white t-shirt. His blue eyes were
piercing, his auburn locks were curly whereas her hair was straight as a pin.
He had a closely shaved beard, and he was tall and muscular and quite handsome.
He was the same as she remembered, and yet different. Older.
He smiled at her, his expression tender.
“Hi, Robb,” she said with a small smile. Why did she feel a blush coming on?
He strode over to her and hugged her, catching her off guard. She hugged him
back, but felt awkward about it.
“I missed you,” he whispered. He sounded almost choked up.
“Sansa, there you are!” Catelyn said from somewhere behind her and Robb. “Robb,
for heaven’s sake, give her a moment to get in and get settled.”
Robb let Sansa go, but he didn’t take his eyes off her. His smile was easy, but
there was a tension there Sansa noticed. Catelyn was looking closely at her
son. She looked oddly tense as well.
“Sorry I’m late,” she told her mother and brother. “I lost track of time.”
“How’s school going?” Robb asked her and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“It’s going well,” Sansa replied and tucked some hair behind her ear. “I
graduate in a couple months.”
“I know,” Robb said.
Sansa wasn’t sure why she found it odd that he should know that. He talked to
their mother all the time, no doubt he’d been kept abreast of what all his
siblings were up to.
“Sansa, why don’t you come and help me with dinner? Your father’s case is done
and he’ll be home in about an hour.” Sansa nodded, flashed Robb a smile, and
then followed her Mother to the kitchen.
xxxxxxxx
Everyone was talking at once, as per usual, at dinner. Everyone but Sansa
anyway. Robb was fielding question after question from his parents and his
siblings.
He’d gone to Southern California University and had majored in law. He’d
decided he didn’t want to stay in “So. Cal” and decided to complete his Masters
at Winterfell University. Their father had gotten him a job in his practice so
he could have hands on experience. With the money he made there, he planned to
get his own place.
He didn’t have a girlfriend (Arya was curious).
He had met one celebrity while in California (Channing Tatum. Bran wanted to
know).
He learned how to surf. (Rickon then wanted Robb to teach him).
When dinner was over, Sansa helped her mother clean up while everyone else went
into the living room to continue their interrogations of Robb. She would have
thought they’d had enough of that from earlier.
“How do you feel honey?” Catelyn asked. “You were quiet at dinner.”
Sansa shrugged. “I’m fine.”
When the last dish was placed in the dishwasher, Sansa went into the living
room to see what was going on and found Rickon and Bran were already gone, Arya
was talking on the phone, and her father and Robb were watching TV. Sansa
perched on the armrest of the couch and looked at the TV.
“Dishes all done, honey?” her father asked.
“Yup,” Sansa said and got up. She didn’t feel like watching Doctor Who.
Halfway up the stairs, she heard Robb saying her name. She turned and found him
at the bottom of the stairs, smiling up at her. “Do you want to go for a ride?”
he asked.
“To where?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Nowhere specific. Just for a ride. We used to…” he trailed off,
looking uncomfortable.
“Used to what?”
He cleared his throat. “We used to go for rides all the time.”
Then why hadn’t he just said that?
“Sure,” she said and came back down the stairs.
When they passed by their mother in the kitchen and told their mother they were
going out, she actually looked worried. “Do you think that’s a good idea,
Robb?” Catelyn asked.
Sansa looked at her mother in confusion. “What’s bad about it?” she asked. “The
accident was five years ago, Mom. It’s not like Robb and I can’t be in the same
car together anymore because of it.”
No one said a word. Sansa didn’t get it, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. It
was long overdue for everyone to be over that accident. It was done and over
with. Why was her mother being so weird about it?
“It’s fine, Mom,” Robb said and kissed Catelyn’s cheek. “There is nothing to
worry about.”
Sansa asked exactly what she was thinking: “Why wouldn’t it be fine?” But
neither one answered her.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you, readers and reviewers! :)
Flashback
“Where are you taking us?” Sansa asked softly from the passenger side of Robb’s
Nissan.
“Where do you want to go?” Robb asked and reached out for her hand.
She slipped it into his without question. “How about the park?”
“The park it is then.”
Once they arrived at the park, Robb parked in the parking lot in the way back.
It was dark in that lot. They would be unseen. He put the car in park and Sansa
slipped into the backseat without a word. Robb frowned. “Don’t you want to
talk?” he asked and looked over his shoulder at her.
She arched a brow. “We talk all the time.”
He sighed and faced forward. “Do you think I bring you here just to make love
to you?”
She laughed and her panties hit him on the side of his face. “How do you
knowIdon’t just bring you here to make love toyou?” she countered.
“I drove us here,” he said.
“I asked you to.”
She had a point. He didn’t know why he was stalling. He was hard already and
had been since they’d gotten in the car. Their little rides always led to this.
It was one of the very few ways they could ever be together.
Robb climbed into the back. Her skirt was rucked up and she still had on her
shirt. If they were home and alone, she would be naked. But here, in the park
where there was a chance of being caught, they didn’t get completely naked just
in case. Robb hurriedly discarded his jeans and boxers and rolled a condom onto
his length. He crawled on top of her and she cradled him between her thighs.
She smiled at him as she ran her hands through his curls. He shut his eyes,
enjoying her touch.
“Kiss me, Robb,” she whispered.
He obliged because he’d wanted to kiss her all day long. Their tongues met and
Robb groaned.
“Fuck me,” she whispered.
“Don’t say that,” he said. “I don’t like it when you say that.”
“Why?”
“Because you make it sound dirty.”
She looked at him incredulously. “Robb, we’re siblings who have sex. It is
dirty.”
“No, we’re siblings who love each other and make love, Sansa,” he corrected. “I
love you. Don’t you love me?”
She looked up at him tenderly. “You know I do.”
He reached down in between them and teased her folds while checking her
readiness. She moaned and clutched at him harder. He pulled his fingers away
and slowly eased himself inside her. She was so wet for him. He knew she
probably had been wet the entire time he’d been hard. He pressed his forehead
to hers and held himself inside her. “My Sansa…”
She pushed at him, trying to get him to move and he did. He thrust slowly
inside her wet heat and as his release came closer and closer, he began to
speed up.
“I love you, Sansa,” he muttered as he framed her face with his big hands. “I
love you more than anyone or anything in the world.”
She moaned as her nails scraped up his back. “I love you, Robb.”
“We’ll be together one day,” he muttered, his release coming near. “Yes?”
“Yes!” she cried out as she came and Robb followed her into orgasm. Watching
her come always set him off. He lay atop of her after, the both of them
catching their breath. Sansa wound herself around him and pressed kisses to his
shoulder and the side of his face. She knew he would stay there on top of her
for a while. She knew that he could not bear to leave her until he absolutely
had to.
End Flashback
It was not the time to remember such things, Robb thought. Now he was hard and
his heart ached for all he’d lost.
He was home and yet…not. Sansa remembered nothing of him – of them. He’d known
this already considering when she’d woken up from the three-day coma she’d been
in she had looked at them all as though they were strangers. Robb had thought
that out of everyone though, she would remember him. How could she forget how
they’d loved each other as a man and a woman did, and not just as a brother and
sister? Yet she had. He’d hoped and prayed that her memories would come back,
but they never had.
Then he’d had to go away, which he knew was for the best. While he hadn’t been
at fault for the accident – that was all that prick Joffrey’s fault – he went
away to get himself together. To let Sansa heal without him hovering and
hoping.
Now he was back, and though he’d told himself he wouldn’t hope and would just
be her big brother and nothing more, he still wanted so badly for her to look
at him in that special way she used to. Those looks that told him he was her
guy and she was his girl.
Chances were slim now that she would ever remember. And he couldn’t very well
pursue her like a man would with a woman he wanted. He had a feeling this time
she would have reservations that before she hadn’t had much of. To make her
remember would be cruel. What would it do to her psyche?
So, here he was, playing big brother and reminding himself to not touch her, to
not remind her of what they’d been, to act normal and treat her the way he did
Arya, Bran, and Rickon.
It was hard.
He’d dated in California, even had a couple girlfriends, but he never fell in
love with them. Never wanted them the way he wanted Sansa. One look at her this
afternoon and he found he wanted her just as he had then – more now that they’d
been apart for so long. His love for her was like a living, breathing thing.
She had consumed him then, and he feared he was about to be consumed again.
This time though, there was nothing he could do about it.
“Tell me what you’ve been up to,” he said after they’d been driving for a while
in silence. He knew she thought of him as somewhat of a stranger. As such, she
didn’t feel all that comfortable around him and therefore didn’t talk much. He
remembered when he couldn’t get her to stop talking.
“I’m sure you know everything already from Mom and Dad,” she said.
“I want to hear it from you,” he said. I want you to feel comfortable with me,
he thought. Maybe we can’t have what we were back, but I want something of our
old dynamic to return. Like how you would tell me everything.
“Well,” she began, “I took some time off after the accident to kind of get
myself together. Then I applied to Winterfell University and started going
there…” she trailed off. “My life is boring,” she said with a laugh. “I go to
school, I work part-time at Dad’s office, and I hang out with my friends.
That’s it in a nutshell.”
“Are you dating anyone?” he asked, dreading the answer.
“Nope. I don’t really have time, nor do I have an interest in anyone.”
Good, Robb thought. And then he felt terrible for thinking that. He wanted
Sansa to be happy. Of course he did. He just selfishly wanted her to be happy
with him as they’d planned so long ago.
Flashback
Sansa lay on her front on her bed with her head turned toward Robb as he lay on
his side, trailing fingers lazily up and down her bare back. It was one of
those rare moments when they had the house to themselves. They’d taken
advantage of it by making slow, leisurely love in Robb’s bed.
“What will happen to us?” Sansa asked him softly, her mouth partially covered
by her arm.
Robb flattened his hand on her back and looked at her. “How do you mean
exactly?”
“I mean, is this how it will always be? Sneaking around, waiting for those rare
moments when we’re alone?”
“No,” he said firmly. “I’ve been thinking.”
She smiled. “Of course you have. Care to share?”
He smiled. “Of course. See, we’re both going to apply to a school far away from
here. Very far. Like California far. We’ll get our own apartment – leave me to
sell that one to Mom and Dad. I’ll tell them that this way I can look out for
you and maybe we’d save money on room and board through the school. I’ll come
up with a sound argument. Then we’ll have every day and every night together.
Once we graduate, we’ll move overseas. Maybe I’ll even change my name so that
no one will know over there that you’re my sister.”
Sansa smiled. “You have been thinking. And planning.”
“Come closer, love,” he whispered.
Sansa turned so that she was on her side. Robb pulled her against him and
kissed her. “I love you, and I want us to be together always.”
“We will be,” she murmured and ran her hands through his curly locks. “I know
we can make it happen.”
End Flashback
“Did we make snow angels in the snow when we were kids?” Sansa asked him,
jarring him out of his memory.
He glanced at her and shifted in his seat. That memory hadn’t helped his
erection any. “We did.”
“Did I dump a snowball in your hot chocolate once?” she asked.
He smiled. “Yes.”
“I remember things like that – just odd little things,” she murmured.
“Do you remember anything else?”
She frowned thoughtfully. “You eating lunch with me every day during my first
week of high school.”
“That happened,” he muttered. It was around that time that Robb had realized
his feelings for Sansa were not altogether brotherly.
She put her feet up, bracing them against the dash and sighed. Robb’s gaze was
drawn to her legs. Those long, sleek legs that used to wrap around him so well.
His hands itched to touch them.
“Ooh, can we stop at 7-11? I want to get a slushy.”
He grinned. “Some things never change.”
She laughed. “Really?”
He nodded. “All the time, Sansa.”
She smiled. “And you would take me to get one?”
“Of course.”
Always after they’d made love and were headed back home.
He followed her in and she somehow convinced him to get one as well. By the
time they’d arrived at home, she seemed much more relaxed with him. Robb was
thankful for that. He might not be able to love Sansa the way he wanted, but at
least he could have some part of her.
Before she headed up to bed she stopped him in the kitchen by putting her hand
on his arm and demanding to see his tongue. He stuck it out and she laughed.
“Blue!” She stuck hers out.
He smiled. “Red.”
She kissed his cheek and Robb had to fist his hands at his sides to keep from
grabbing her and kissing her the way he wanted. She ran up to her bedroom and
Robb stood there not sure if he wanted to smile or cry or both.
“Robb.”
He looked up and found his mother coming into the kitchen. She looked worried.
“Nothing happened,” he told her. “You’ve nothing to worry about, Mother. Sansa
doesn’t remember.”
“But you want her to.”
“No,” he said, and hoped he sounded firm. “I know what’s at stake if she does.
I know it’s wrong what we did before and I don’t want that for her. I don’t
want it for me either.” God, he hoped he sounded convincing. He heard himself
say the words, the practiced words, but he didn’t feel them. He’d give anything
for Sansa to remember, anything to have her back.
“I’m just not sure that going out together alone was wise—”
“She’s still my sister,” Robb said, a bit too sharply. He sighed and shook his
head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap at you.”
“I want you both to be happy,” Catelyn said. “It’s better for both of you that
she doesn’t remember what went on.”
Robb nodded. “I know. But you’ve nothing to worry about. Not this time. It’s
over and in the past where it belongs. Okay?” He feigned a smile and slowly
Catelyn nodded.
“Get some rest, son,” she said and headed for the stairs.
Robb raked a hand down his face. Over it? Not likely. He never would be. Five
years couldn’t do it. Her memory loss didn’t do it. And he was pretty certain
that putting him in the basement and far away from Sansa’s bedroom wouldn’t do
it either.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you so much, everyone! I really enjoy hearing your thoughts :)
The next morning when Robb made his way up the stairs showered and dressed and
ready for the day, he found half the family sitting at breakfast. As was his
custom before he left, he looked for Sansa first. She wasn’t there. And he knew
better than to ask.
He poured himself some coffee and made up a plate of the food laid out on the
island while listening Arya and Bran talk about some movie they wanted to see.
Catelyn looked up at him from the table and smiled. “How did you sleep, Robb?”
“Just fine, Mom,” he said. Aside from laying there and wishing he could go to
Sansa or that Sansa would come to him.
And then Sansa came barreling down the stairs, looking frantic. She ran past
them all, a backpack slung over her shoulder and her auburn hair streaming
behind her. Robb managed to catch her scent – raspberries – as she sailed past
calling out, “I’m sorry, I’m late, see you guys later!”
Catelyn got up and ran after her shouting, “Don’t speed!”
Robb forced himself to stay put. When Catelyn came back in the room he then
forced himself not to ask if Sansa had even heard her. He went to the table,
his plate of breakfast in hand and sat down. “So,” he said in what he hoped
sounded casual. “What’s on the agenda for everyone today?”
xxxxxxxx
Sansa walked into the kitchen to get something to drink and found Robb at the
sink, rinsing a dish. With a quick scan of the kitchen she found they were
alone and she walked behind him and passed her hand over his ass as she walked
by.
He jumped and then looked over at her as she giggled. She opened the fridge and
took out a bottle of water and no sooner had she closed it than Robb was on
her, kissing her voraciously. She dropped the water bottle and wound her arms
around him as he pressed her against the fridge.
The sound of voices nearing caused them to practically leap apart. Robb
whispered, “Come see me later,” before he ran up the stairs.
“Hello? You back there?” snapped the girl in front of Sansa in class.
Sansa snapped to attention and grabbed the papers that were being waved in
front of her face. She flushed, thinking how embarrassing it would be if people
could read her mind.
Her dream last night wouldn’t leave her alone. Of all the things to dream about
why in the bloody hell had she dreamed of her brother kissing her? Something
was wrong with her. Sure she had been happy to see him yesterday, sure she also
felt a bit awkward and shy with him, sure she thought that he was handsome –
but she was allowed to think that of him wasn’t she? It was the same as
thinking Bran was adorable or that Arya was pretty. It didn’t mean anything.
So then why…?
She pushed it out of her mind for the hundredth time that say and focused on
the lecture instead.
Afterwards, she met Jon for a coffee as was their custom and then headed to her
father’s office to work for a few hours. She was a few minutes late and when
walked into the building, which was really just an old house converted into
offices, her father was standing there looking disapprovingly at her. “You’re
late.”
She arched a brow. “By five minutes.”
“So? You have commitments, Sansa, it’s best to keep them.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Leave her alone, Dad,” Robb said as he came out of their father’s office. He
smiled at Sansa and then winked.
Sansa couldn’t look at him without thinking of her dream and she looked instead
back at her father. A smile was tugging the corner of his mouth and she walked
up to him and swatted him on the arm playfully. “You had me going!” she scolded
him.
He laughed and walked away, leaving Sansa and Robb alone. She had felt awkward
with him last night to begin with, and now that she’d had this dream about him
she felt even more awkward.
“Are you all right?” Robb asked. “You look a little flushed.”
“Oh, uh, it’s just warm outside and I just had a coffee with Jon, so—”
“Jon? Who’s Jon?”
“A friend of mine from school.”
“Are you…dating him? You said last night you weren’t dating anyone.”
She arched a brow. “Are you getting all big brother-y on me?”
He sighed. “I think I am. You mind?”
“Well…I guess not. I’m older than everyone else so I’m always the one looking
out for them. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad to have someone looking out for
me.”
Sadness passed over his features and Sansa didn’t know what to make of it or
what to do.
“I wanted to be here for you,” he said softly. “I just couldn’t be anymore.”
She reached out and touched his arm. He flinched. That surprised her and she
started to pull her hand away. He grabbed it and squeezed and looked down at
her with those intense eyes that…
That she remembered from her dream.
Her heart started to race. She pulled her hand back. “I didn’t mean anything by
it,” she said. “I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty.”
“I know,” he said quietly.
“Okay, so stop looking like I just told you I drowned a puppy on the way to
work.”
He laughed then and Sansa relaxed. Sort of. His smile really just lit up his
whole face.
“Dad has a stack of files he wanted me to give you,” he said.
Sansa groaned. “Of course he does.” She headed for her father’s office and Robb
followed her. “How was your first day?” she asked him as they walked inside and
she set her backpack down on the floor. She immediately went for the desk
toward the back of the room that took up most of the room and picked up the
stack of files on the end of it.
“Oh, wait,” Robb said and took the top two files from the top. He frowned.
“Wait…”
Amused, Sansa moved so that she was standing next to him and turned the files
so that they were laying across her arms and he could see the names of them. He
started to look through them and Sansa caught a whiff of his cologne. He
smelled good. As he peered at the files his arm kept brushing her and she was
pretty sure she could feel his flexed muscle through his white button down
shirt.
And why was she thinking about his muscles and how he smelled?
“Okay, got it,” he said.
She smiled slightly and then left the room to file what was remaining without
saying a word or even looking at him.
xxxxxxxxx
Sansa was the flame. And Robb was the moth. He couldn’t stop himself from
seeking her out. He found her in the breakroom, sitting at one of the tables
with a bottle of water in her hand. She was sitting with someone Robb hadn’t
met yet. A woman with long curly hair, sharp blue eyes, and a smile that looked
almost deadly. The woman jumped up, smiling at him. She was petite and wore a
modest blue dress and flats. She held out her hand to him. “I’m Margaery, one
of the paralegal’s here. You’re Robb Stark.”
Robb took her hand and shook it. “I am. Nice to meet you, Margaery.”
Margaery looked him up and down and smirked. “Indeed.”
He looked at Sansa whose brows were arched as she watched the exchange. A faint
smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. He inched toward her until he was
standing behind her, his hands on the back of her seat. She shifted in her seat
and he felt a jolt go through him at the feel of her hair brushing against his
hands. Sometimes when he’d kissed Sansa he would wrap her hair around his hand.
The softness of it, the scent – he loved her hair.
“No need to hide behind your sister, Robb Stark,” Margaery said with a grin. “I
don’t bite. Not hard anyway.”
Robb didn’t know what to say. He’d been flirted with before, and he’d even
flirted, but it had always been subtle. This felt a bit aggressive and he
didn’t really know what to do.
Sansa stood then, creating a barrier between him and Margaery. “Margaery, stop
freaking him out,” she scolded her friend gently.
Margaery laughed and started for the exit. “I’ll see you around, handsome,” she
purred and left.
“Yikes,” Robb said.
Sansa turned to face him. “She likes to make people uncomfortable sometimes.
Kind of like testing the waters a little…? She’s fun though.”
“She made me feel like a piece of meat.”
“Women have to deal with that crap every day. It’s only fair that you men
should have to deal with it as well once in a while.”
“Fair enough,” Robb said with a smile. “Sit with me?”
“I can’t. I’m actually heading out now for a class.”
Robb frowned. “At four in the afternoon?”
“Not school class – yoga class.”
Robb’s mind raced with all possible positions Sansa could twist herself into.
It was possible he was getting hard. He sat down. “Oh? You didn’t mention that
last night.”
She shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. Just after the accident I couldn’t move
around so well. I was really stiff and everything hurt and someone suggested I
try yoga. It worked. It made me feel better and relaxed me so I kept it up.”
“That is a big deal, Sansa,” he said. It hurt that he didn’t know the physical
pain she’d been in afterwards. And that he hadn’t been there to help her. “It
helped you and it’s obviously something that continues to help you. I think
that’s amazing.”
She smiled shyly. “Thanks.”
“Maybe you could teach me a few moves.”
“You never should have said that,” she said. “Mom and Dad and – okay, everyone
in our family was so tired of me showing them different positions when they’d
complain about an ache or whatever. If anyone just shows a smidgeon of interest
I am all over it like white on rice.”
“You can show me any position you want,” he told her and hoped his voice hadn’t
really dropped as low as it sounded to him. He was imagining Sansa’s hands on
him. His on her. God, he really needed to stop this.
“You asked for it!” she said, but she looked pleased.
Robb considered the idea that maybe their mother had some cause to worry about
him and his intentions.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     Bonus chapter!!
Robb walked in the house a few days later to the sound of his sisters doing
what they did best: arguing.
“You saw that I was doing something, Arya, and yet you came in here and started
blaring the TV!” Sansa shouted.
“The family room is for watching TV, Sansa. Do your homework in your bedroom,”
Arya said calmly. Robb knew Arya well enough to know that she played at calm
when she just wanted to piss Sansa off.
“There is a desk in here; it’s not like it’s just a family room meant for
watching TV. I’ve seen you do homework in here.”
“You’ve seen me do homework I don’t care about in here,” Arya said matter-of-
factly.
“God, you’re such a bitch.”
Oh, that was not good. Arya was going to flay Sansa alive. Robb practically ran
to the family room just in time to see Arya start after Sansa. Sansa stood her
ground. She didn’t move. She just stood there and waited. Robb remembered a
time when Sansa would come at Arya, ready to defend herself by flailing her
arms and fists about.
Now she stood with her hands on her hips almost looking as though she dared
Arya to hit her. Arya stopped in front of her sister and they stared each other
down. Robb wasn’t sure if he should intervene or just see how this shook out.
Arya took a step back and Robb inwardly sighed with relief. Arya turned and saw
him standing there. “Robb, tell me what you think. Is it fair that I should
have to wait until Sansa is done with her homework before I turn the TV on?”
she asked. “Or should Sansa go somewhere else if she expects peace and quiet
while she’s doing her homework?”
“You have a TV in your room, don’t you?” he asked pointedly with one brow
arched.
Arya growled and threw up her arms. “Nothing has changed, has it? You still
take Sansa’s side in everything!” she shouted and marched off, pounding the
floor hard as she stomped up the stairs. Robb winced when he heard her door
slam.
Sansa just rolled her eyes and picked her laptop up off the couch. “I cannot
even with her,” she muttered. She looked at Robb, laptop in hand. “Is that
true?”
“Is what true?” he asked and stepped fully into the room.
“Did you always take my side in everything?”
He laughed softly and shook his head. “No. And you would get pretty mad at me
when I took her side.”
“Everyone takes her side,” Sansa muttered. “She’s the favorite.”
“Why would you say that?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“I’m just cranky today. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. He was no stranger to sleepless nights. He
hadn’t slept well at all since he’d been home. The night before he’d almost
convinced himself he could just go to Sansa’s room and have a chat with her
before going back to bed. Not knowing exactly what to say and fear of his
mother catching him kept him from leaving the basement.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked gently.
She looked at him sharply and Robb held his breath for a second. It felt very
much as though she was saying “You” with that look. But then her gaze skittered
away and she shook her head. “Nothing. Just school and…school.”
He wasn’t buying it, but they weren’t yet at the point where he could push it.
Sansa was still quiet and uncertain around him. “Why don’t we go somewhere?” he
suggested. He hoped she said yes. And he hoped she agreed so they could leave
before their parents returned home. Their mother was diligent about making sure
he and Sansa were never left alone in the house together. No doubt she knew
Arya was home right now and so felt she didn’t have to rush right home from
work to baby-sit them. What, Robb wondered, was she going to do when he got his
own place and Sansa (hopefully) wanted to visit? Forbid her? Sansa would wonder
why. So would Arya and his brothers.
“Where?” Sansa asked.
“Anywhere you want.”
“Could we go to a movie? I want to get lost in a movie.”
“Sure, we can do that,” he told her.
Flashback
Sitting side by side in the movie theater, Robb watched the couples on dates
around them and felt himself glaring at the lot of them.
“Stop giving the stink eye to everyone around us,” Sansa said and poked him in
the leg. “What’s wrong with you?”
“It’s not fair,” he said quietly.
“What isn’t?”
“Everyone here gets to be honest about what they’re doing. They get to show how
they feel to the people they’re with. I can’t even hold your hand.” Even
sitting in the way back tucked into the corner and with no one else in their
aisle didn’t guarantee privacy.
“I know,” she said softly. Now she looked sad.
“I just want to be able to hold your fucking hand.”
“One day,” she told him. She nudged him with her elbow. “Right?”
He forced himself to smile. “Right.”
“You forgot something, Robb.”
“What’s that, love?” he asked and looked over at her.
She smiled. “We’re seeing a horror movie. No one would think twice if I got
scared and needed my big brother to protect me.”
He smiled for real then. “Of course.”
End Flashback
xxxxxxxx
Sansa wasn’t sure why she thought hanging out with Robb was a good idea. On the
other hand he was her brother so why shouldn’t she hang out with him? Yet it
was because of him and her unruly subconscious that she hadn’t been able to
sleep so well the night before.
She was a mess.
The night before she’d dreamt that her and Robb were just hanging out, watching
a movie in his room. All they’d done was sit by side-by-side and held hands.
Okay, so that was weird. And he would kiss her temple every so often, too. Also
weird. However, it was the feeling she had in the dream. The feeling of loving
him so much and feeling loved. Those feelings had been so strong that when
she’d woken up, she’d ached with the loss of it. She’d never been in love – not
that she remembered anyway – and so to feel that love and to feel it coming
from someone else had made her feel…restless.
Despite knowing how wrong it was to dream of her brother like that, she had
wanted to get back to sleep and jump right back in that dream just to feel that
love again. But she hadn’t been able to get back to sleep right away because
she kept replaying the dream over and over in her mind and wondering what was
wrong with her that it was her brother she was dreaming of in such a way.
By morning she’d convinced herself that what she was probably craving was a
boyfriend. She didn’t remember having one, certainly didn’t remember Joffrey
(and thank God apparently), and so it wasn’t as though she had anything
negative attached to having one. Granted, Joffrey had been the reason she and
Robb had gotten in that car accident, but she didn’t remember him or it enough
to feel the need to swear off men.
As for why she’d latched onto Robb? Well, she chalked it up to the fact that he
was…shiny and new? She didn’t really know. Perhaps it was because Margaery
hadn’t stopped talking about him since she’d met him. She really had no reason
for it;’ she just wished her subconscious would give it a rest.
Now they sat together in a darkened theater and she didn’t feel relaxed. She
felt hyper-aware of him sitting next to her, and she had the urge to just touch
him in some way. She almost felt like it wasn’t just that she wanted to do it,
but that she needed to do it. Like touching him, just even his arm, meant she
wouldn’t float away or something.
Christ, yeah. She should look into dating.
“We were close, weren’t we?” Sansa asked him after the movie was over and they
were making their way back home.
Robb tensed, his hand gripped the steering wheel tighter before answering her.
Odd, that. “Yes,” he said.
“Why does that upset you?” she asked.
“It doesn’t upset me.”
“It seems to upset you.”
He sighed. “You don’t remember me now. It’s hard to…it’s hard to remember how
close we were when you don’t remember it and we don’t have the same closeness.”
“I’m sorry,” she said and felt her eyes well up in tears. She didn’t even know
why this was upsetting her so much. She didn’t get this frustrated not
remembering things when it came to the rest of her family.
He darted a glance at her. “Sansa, are you – are you crying?”
“I’m overtired. I get emotional when I’m overtired.”
“I know,” he said and then hit the steering wheel. “Shit, I’m sorry. That
probably doesn’t help.” He pulled over to the side of the road and cut the
engine. He turned in his seat and looked at her. “Sansa, please don’t cry. I
could never stand it when you cried.”
“It’s just frustrating, and I’m just tired…I’m fine, Robb. Really.”
“What can I do?”
“Nothing. You can’t make me remember. I can’t make me remember.”
“Do you feel pressured to…?”
“A little. I mean I just feel like…I feel like we were probably close. It’s
just this…feeling I get?”
He looked almost wistful. “You told me everything.”
“I don’t know that I tell anyone everything. Not even Jon and he’s the closest
one to me.”
“You can always come to me, Sansa. I want you to know that.” And then he took
her hands in his and gripped them.
His touch comforted her. Made her feel…whole in some way. She gripped him back
and stared down at their hands.
“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.
“I don’t know,” she murmured and looked up at him. He was watching her so
intently. “I don’t know,” she repeated and pulled her hands from his.
He nodded and turned back around. They rode the rest of the way home in
silence.
xxxxxxxx
Flashback
“Love, what’s wrong?” Robb asked gently as he shut Sansa’s door behind him and
then lay down beside her on the bed. She was on her side, facing away from him,
and he could hear her sniffling.
“You always take Arya’s side,” she said.
“I do not,” he said and pressed himself against her back. She stiffened and
scooted away from him.
“Sansa, love…” he murmured and pulled her back against him.
“She’s your favorite.”
He barked out a laugh. “Now I think you know that’s not true.” He pushed his
nose against her bare shoulder and then kissed her there. “You’re my favorite
person in the whole world.”
“Yeah, because I have sex with you.”
Robb gripped her hip. “Sansa, don’t you dare say that to me,” he said sternly.
“You know that’s not true.” He rolled away from her and got up. He went to the
door and was about to leave when he heard Sansa say his name softly.
He turned and found her sitting up, her eyes a bit red. She looked apologetic.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Then why did you say it?”
“Because I was upset that you defended Arya and I wanted to hurt you.”
“Not like that,” he said. “Never like that, Sansa. You make it…you make it
something dirty and wrong when you say that. Like I’m using you.”
“I know you’re not, Robb. I’m sorry.” She held out her hand. “Come here.”
He shook his head and said, “No”, and then he left.
Later when Sansa came to apologize to him again, he forgave her. But he
wouldn’t make love to her, even though she attempted to initiate it.
End Flashback
“I’m not sure I feel comfortable with the idea of you and Sansa spending so
much time together.”
Robb looked up from the book he wasn’t reading and at his mother. “Excuse me?”
He put the book down on the bed beside him.
“You and Sansa going to the movies…is that where you really went?”
Robb clenched his jaw. “You do recall that she doesn’t remember anything about
me still, right?”
She sighed. His mother looked a bit stressed. “I know. I just fear that if you
two start spending more time together she will.”
Robb opted not to tell her about his conversation with Sansa in the car. He
wasn’t going to push for Sansa to remember, but if she did…well, he wasn’t
going to stop that from happening.
“Are you going to ban her from spending time with me? I am her brother—”
“I’m not sure you can play the brother card, Robb. You lost that privilege when
you came clean about what you and Sansa had been doing behind our backs.”
“Don’t make it sound like that. Like what we were doing was just dirty—”
“You’re her brother,” she hissed. “It was—is— dirty.”
“I loved her.”
“It was your job as her big brother to protect her, Robb!”
“And I did. I didn’t rape her, Mother. We loved each other.”
“Robb, are you listening to yourself? You can’t possibly believe that you were
in love with your sister the way a man loves a woman. It’s not possible!”
“It is possible because that’s exactly how I felt! I loved her as a woman she
loved me as a man.” He would give himself away now if he didn’t stop. He was
aware that he sounded like a petulant brat, but he knew what he felt – what he
still felt – for Sansa. Maybe it was wrong to everyone else, but it wasn’t
wrong to him, and it hadn’t been wrong to Sansa at the time. It was isolating
to be nursing this very real, very broken heart, and have his mother tell him
that it wasn’t real at all because she thought it wrong. Coupled with that was
the fact that Sansa didn’t remember them and…God. He was going stark raving
mad.
“What do you want from me, Mother?” he asked, his voice soft and low. “What is
it you want me to do?”
“I want you to give your sister a wide berth, and maybe if you would consider
finding a girl of your own...Your father says there is a woman in his office
that seems to have taken a shine to you.”
Robb sighed. “So you want me to date to prove to you that nothing is going on
with me and Sansa.”
His mother sat down next to him on the bed. “And to help you, Robb. If you date
this girl and you end up really liking her you’ll see how different it is. I
should have encouraged you when you were younger to find a nice girl. I never
thought your lack of interest meant…” she sighed. “Just think about it, would
you?”
Robb nodded. “Sure.” By think about it she of course meant do it. Ask Margaery
out. Date her.
She kissed the top of his head and hugged him. “I love you, Robb. I want you to
be happy. You know that, right?”
Robb nodded and feigned a smile. “I know, Mom.”
She left the room and Robb cried his own tears of frustration.
***** Chapter 5 *****
“You want a boyfriend?” Jon asked Sansa the following morning while they had
their morning coffee before classes. Sansa made a face and Jon laughed. “So
that’s a no…”
“I don’t want a boyfriend per se, but it doesn’t really work that way anyway,”
she explained and stretched her arms out on the table in front of her. They
were in the commuter café together and Sansa was not yet awake.
She’d had another dream about Robb. This time they’d been kissing behind the
house. He told her he loved her in the dream. Sansa had woken up confused and
aching again.
“I just want to be open to the possibility,” she said.
He grinned. “If you want to be open to the possibility, Sansa, you might not
want to make stinky cheese face when someone says the word boyfriend.”
She sighed. “I don’t know why I’m so averse to the idea. It’s not like I even
remember having one.”
“Maybe subconsciously you do.”
If that was the case then based on her dreams Robb had been her boyfriend. And
no…
She shrugged. “So, do you know any nice single guys?”
He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. He put his coffee down on the
table and heaved a deep breath. Sansa watched him expectantly. She knew Jon
well enough to know he was working up to something. His cheeks grew pink and he
raked some of his curly locks back. He looked at her. “Me. What about me?”
She hadn’t expected that. At all.
“See, the thing is, Sansa, I have thought about it. Dating you, that is. And
I’d…I’d really like to try.” He was so nervous and it was so adorable and Sansa
couldn’t stand it. His gray eyes met hers. “Do you think maybe you might
consider it…?”
She broke into a slow smile. “Yes.”
“You’ll consider it, or…?”
“I just considered it. And yes, I will. Go on a date with you, I mean. When?”
Jon broke into a smile that Sansa had only been able to pull from him a handful
of times. Each one was a gift when it happened. She smiled back at him. Date
her best friend? Of course.
“How about tomorrow night?” he asked.
“Perfect.”
xxxxxxxx
When Sansa arrived at the office that afternoon she felt better. She’d made a
step in the right direction towards getting past this…whatever it was with
Robb. In some ways, Jon and Robb were alike, so maybe her subconscious was just
playing games with her? Maybe it was really Jon she wanted this whole time…?
She made her way to her father’s office and found Robb in there, alone, and
bent over some paperwork. “Hey.” He looked up and he smiled, though it didn’t
reach his eyes. “You okay?”
He cleared his throat. “Yes, I’m fine. I’m just looking for a specific piece of
correspondence for one of Dad’s depositions and I’m having hard time finding
it. I’ve pulled all the files.”
She put her hand on her hips and lifted her chin. “Have no fear Sansa is here!”
He laughed and she sat down at her father’s desk. “Hit me. With a file that
is.”
He handed one over to her and told her what to look for. As she set to work,
she began to hum to herself.
“You’re in a good mood today,” Robb said, looking up at her.
Her mouth quirked a bit into a lopsided grin. “I have a date tomorrow night.”
“You have a date tomorrow night?”
Sansa nodded and began to hum again as she turned more papers.
“Sansa.”
She looked up at him. He didn’t look happy. His jaw was clenched tight. “Who do
you have a date with?”
“Jon. Can you believe it, I can—”
“You said that you and this Jon were just friends.”
“We are…were? I asked him if he knew any nice single guys and he offered
himself.”
“So, he’s had a thing for you this whole time.”
“I suppose so—”
“I don’t know how I feel about you going out with someone that hasn’t been
honest with you.”
Sansa stared at him. “What? Jon is – no. Jon is like the most honest guy I
know. He’s like…a puppy. A complete sweetheart. He doesn’t have a dishonest
bone in his body.”
“Sansa—”
“Little dove! You’re here!” Margaery exclaimed as she came inside the room. She
put her hand on Robb’s shoulder. “Did your brother tell you I finally wore him
down? We’re going out tomorrow night.”
Sansa was not prepared for the stab of jealousy she felt. It was absurd. And
disturbing. So, she forced herself to smile broadly. “Congratulations?” She
looked at Margaery. “Is that the appropriate response?”
“It’ll do, little dove,” Margaery said with a broad smile of her own. She
ruffled Robb’s hair. “Come see me later.” And then she was off again.
Sansa looked at him with arched brow and leaned forward, her elbow on the desk
and her chin in the palm of her hand. “Well, well. And you seemed so afraid of
her.”
Robb sighed. “I still am.”
“Maybe you’re a bit of a sadist then? Or is it masochist?”
“Sansa, I want to meet Jon. Tomorrow night before you go out with him, I want
to meet him.”
She frowned and sat back. “This is you being big brother-y?”
“In a manner of speaking, yes.”
“But you’re going out with Margaery. What if Jon comes after you’re gone?”
He sighed as if willing himself to have patience. “I’m sure we can figure
something out.”
“It’s not that important that you meet him, Robb. Mom and Dad have already.”
“I don’t care.”
“Robb—”
“Sansa, the last boyfriend you had ran us into a tree. You called me,
hysterical, because he hit you and was aiming to do more. You were in a coma
for three days and none of us knew if you were going to make it out. But then
you did. You came back to me –us – you came back to us. Joffrey had Mom and Dad
fooled. He had you fooled. He had us all fooled. Can you maybe understand why I
want to meet him?”
“Well, God, when you put it like that…” she muttered.
“Thank you.”
“I don’t remember Joffrey, but I’d like to think that I wouldn’t make that same
choice again. I’ve done a lot of reading up on abusive relationships and it
doesn’t make sense that I would choose someone like that.”
Robb looked down. He looked sad and…guilty?
“He hid his true colors well,” Robb said. “We were all fooled.”
Sansa frowned. “You don’t blame yourself, do you?”
Robb looked at her. “Yes. I do.”
“Well, that’s just ridiculous. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure you did your big
brother job then well enough, too.”
He didn’t say anything, and he looked down again.
Sansa got up and made her way over to him. She knelt down before him and
gingerly placed her hand on his knee. He looked at her hand and then at her.
“Robb, don’t blame yourself for what happened. I don’t. And even if I
remembered everything perfectly I’m sure I still wouldn’t. I made the choice to
date him.”
He nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. “Thank you,” he murmured.
“If it’s that important to you to meet Jon then we’ll work something out,
okay?”
He nodded again. She stood, kissed his cheek, and then went back to the files.
xxxxxxx
Flashback
Sansa was doing her homework one night when Robb slipped in and said, “Has Mom
talked to you?”
She blinked at him. “Um, no. Why? Should she have?”
“She talked to me this afternoon when I got home from work.”
“…Yeah?”
He sat down and ran his hand through his hair. His curls bounced and flopped
about and Sansa scooted closer to him and attempted to fix his hair. He moved
away from her by standing up and walking away from her. He couldn’t mess around
with her right now. He had to focus.
“Robb, what’s going on?” she asked. She sounded a bit worried now.
“She told me that she saw us last night watching TV when she got up to get a
drink in the kitchen,” Robb said and started to pace. “She said she noticed
something between us.”
“Oh no, not that!” Sansa faux gasped.
He stopped and looked at her. “Sansa, she said that there was an intimacy
between us that made her uncomfortable. She said that it’s not the first time
she’s noticed it and just chalked it up to us being close, but after she saw
how we were together she can’t ignore it anymore.”
“Robb—”
“Sansa, she asked me point blank if there was something going on between us.
She couldn’t even get the words out…”
Sansa went over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. “What did you tell
her?” she asked. She was all business Sansa now. Her expression serious, her
posture straight.
“I told her that I don’t know what she thought she saw but she was mistaken,”
he told her. “I told her I would never do anything like that with you and of
course you never would with me. I told her I couldn’t believe she would even
suggest that.”
“And?”
“I’m not sure she bought it. Sansa, I’m a little worried.”
She arched a brow. “A little?”
“How can you not be?” he demanded. “If Mom and Dad find out about us they could
separate us, Sansa. They could make me go away. Do you want that?”
“Of course not,” she said and wound her arms around him. Robb wrapped his arms
around her and held her tightly against him. “I love you,” she said into his
neck
“We need to lay low,” he told her softly. “We need to keep our distance. We
can’t give her any reason to suspect.” She grew silent and that worried Robb.
“Sansa, are you listening to me?”
She pulled back and looked up at him. “I’ll get a boyfriend.”
He gaped at her. “What?”
“There’s a boy at school that asked me out a couple times—”
“How am I just hearing about this now?” he demanded.
She rolled her eyes. “Really, Robb? Now’s not the time—”
“Who is he?”
“His name is Joffrey. He’s some popular rich boy. He seems nice.”
Robb didn’t like this. Not at all.
“Look, I’ll just go out with him a few times. No big deal. Mom will stop
worrying—”
“Or maybe we should do nothing and go on as we have. If you all of a sudden get
a boyfriend she might think we’re actually guilty.”
“How about this – how about we do nothing for a while and then in a couple
weeks I’ll tell Joffrey I’ll go out with him. I’ll play it off like it’s no big
deal and I’m not really sure it’s what I want to do and Mom will do her Mom
thing where she talks to me about it, maybe even convinces me it’s a good idea,
and then that’s it. It’s done. After a couple dates I’ll stop seeing him. Ba da
bing, ba da boom, it’s done.”
“Why can’t I just go out with some girl? Jeyne at work flirts with me all the
time,” Robb said.
“Nope, I’m going to go out with Joffrey. It’s decided,” Sansa said and turned
away from him. “You don’t want me to boil any bunnies in a fit of jealousy do
you, Robb?” she asked over her shoulder as she made her way back to the bed.
He was on her in two strides, pulling her by her hips against him and biting at
her neck playfully. She slapped a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh out
loud.
“I love you,” he whispered in her ear. “I love you so much.”
She spun around in his arms and narrowed her eyes. “This Jeyne…do you flirt
back?”
He furrowed his brow. “What?”
“You said this woman Jeyne flirts with you. Do you flirt back?”
His laugh was low and easy. “God, Sansa, how could you even be jealous? Don’t
you know by now that you are my entire world?”
She smiled and kissed him quickly before just hugging him. “And you, dear
brother, have nothing to worry about when it comes to Joffrey.”
End Flashback
Famous last words, Robb thought. He hadn't protected her. Not the way he should
have. He should have asked Jeyne out and been done with it. He never should
have let Sansa be the one to fix things with their mother. Sometimes he
wondered if he would ever be able to forgive himself for that. And the thing
was, he couldn't tell her how sorry he was. He couldn't do anything about it at
all except pretend that none of it ever happened.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Flashback
Robb slipped into Sansa’s bed and curled up around her. “Mom said you weren’t
feeling well,” he murmured.
“What are you doing here?” she croaked. “Don’t you have work?”
“I called out.”
“Why?”
“To take care of you.”
She didn’t say anything and he wondered if whatever was bothering her was more
than just not feeling well. He’d noticed the night before she’d been quiet and
hadn’t been herself. She would tell him what was wrong at some point; she
usually did. And he knew better than to push. Until that time, he was more than
happy to lay here with her and just hold her.
Sometimes he wondered that she thought he expected sex from her all the time.
He didn’t. Not that he didn’t love making love with Sansa, but it wasn’t what
their relationship was about. Not to him anyway, and he certainly hoped it
wasn’t about that for her. He doubted it though. He knew Sansa loved him. Out
of the two of them, she had realized her feelings later than he did and though
she’d had reservations in the beginning, she didn’t seem to have wrestled with
them as much as he had.
He and Sansa had always been close growing up. He wasn’t sure what it was
exactly – the fact that they were the two eldest and the rest of their siblings
had looked to them for guidance, if it was that he had been her big brother
first and it had been instilled in him from the time his parents told him he
was going to be a big brother that he had to look out for his sister. He didn’t
know. He wished he knew why he and Sansa had always felt so separate from the
rest of the Stark clan. Why they seemed to have their own language. How they
seemed to have an almost telepathic connection at times. He had analyzed it to
death, hoping and wishing that if he could explain it then maybe he could just
accept it for what it was and not as something more. And maybe he could know
what to look for so he could duplicate it with someone else
Someone that was not his sister.
It wasn’t as though he hadn’t tried. When he first realized he had feelings
that were more than brotherly for Sansa – which was about the time he was a
junior in high school and she a freshman – he had become something of a man
whore. He dated a lot. He slept around. He was desperate to find that girl that
would replace Sansa in his affections. To find that girl that he wanted and
craved and loved as he did her. It wasn’t meant to be.
He’d come home with some other girls perfume on him and feel empty and lost
until he could curl up with Sansa on the couch and watch some stupid movie with
her. Or go to the park and push her on the swings while she told him all about
the gossip in ninth grade…then tenth…and then he learned he wasn’t alone in his
feelings.
He stopped dating when he started his senior year. He was tired of it. Tired of
trying. He loved and wanted his sister and that, it seemed, was that. He
couldn’t fight it, so he thought he might as well just give himself up to it
and maybe it would just ride itself out. He remembered his mother asking him
why he didn’t go out so much anymore. He had always been popular but now he
seemed to rather stay home than go out. He just told her was tired of high
school crap.
The first time he and Sansa had kissed things went - depending on how one
looked at it –uphill or downhill from there. For Robb, it was uphill. He
thought it was the same for Sansa, but sometimes he worried. He doubted. She
wasn’t as needy as he felt he was sometimes.
He sometimes felt guilty for having been the one to take her virginity. But she
had wanted him to be the first and after so long of denying himself what he
really wanted, Robb just couldn’t do it anymore. She’d been sixteen. He’d been
eighteen. It wasn’t as if they had sex immediately after discovering they felt
the same about each other. They’d spent a lot of time talking about what this
meant. About the family. How they had to keep it a secret (obviously). How it
would affect their relationships. Sansa couldn’t be telling her girlfriends
everything anymore, for one.
She wondered why this had happened. He told her how he’d wondered the same
thing and didn’t have any answers.
Their first touches had been tentative and yet so fucking heady and
exhilarating. It was like something out of a movie – they couldn’t get enough
of each other. He took comfort in the fact that he was the first thing on her
mind in the morning and the last thing on her mind at night. Just as it had
been for him with her for so long.
He still remembered their first time. The rest of the Starks had gone out to a
dinner and movie but Sansa and Robb had begged off. Robb explored her and she
explored him. When he was inside her for the first time it had felt like coming
home. He knew then that he wouldn’t be going away to college right away. He had
already begun to plan how they would go away together. He told his parents he
wanted to take some time off just to save some money and figure out what he
really wanted to do. They told him he’d known what he wanted to do since he was
ten. He ignored them.
“Robb,” she said, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?”
“Do you ever think about kids? About having a family?”
He stilled. Their mother had said she wasn’t feeling well… “Sansa, are you—”
“No. I, well, I took two tests yesterday in the bathroom at Target.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this last night?”
“I’m telling you now.”
He sighed. “Sansa.”
“I’m not pregnant, Robb. Relax.”
“I just wish you had told me you thought there might even be the possibility.”
“So you could what? Hang outside the bathroom and wait with me?”
He clenched his jaw. He hated that this is what they had to do. That they had
to hide and sneak and be inventive in how they could spend time together.
“Yes,” he said curtly.
“The chances were slim. I’m on birth control, you always wear a condom…”
“Those aren’t one hundred percent.”
“With both methods it’s pretty fucking close.”
He sighed. “Do you think you should see a doctor?”
“No. I’m not pregnant. Trust me. I just got my period this morning.”
That was a relief.
“But it got me thinking,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“We can’t have kids together, Robb. You know that, right?”
“Yes, I do. That doesn’t bother me.”
“No, it doesn’t now. You’re only twenty. But what about one day? Do you think
about one day?”
He did. He thought about one day when they were in Europe and away from their
family and he could be her boyfriend and she his girlfriend. Maybe they
couldn’t marry. Maybe they couldn’t have kids but they could find a way to be
together.
“Do you want kids, Sansa?” he asked.
“Sometimes I think I might. Sometimes I think I don’t. I don’t know yet. I’m
only eighteen.”
“We could always adopt.”
“Don’t men want to like, I don’t know, spread their seed all over the place and
make a bunch of kids?”
He laughed softly. “You make me sound like a dandelion.”
She laughed softly.
“How about we cross the kids bridge when we get to it?”
She sighed.
He poked her lightly. “Talk to me.”
“It’s just – don’t you – don’t you wish it was easier? That it would go away?”
That scared him. He held her tighter. “No.”
“No? Seriously?”
He sighed this time. “I wish it was easier. I sometimes wish, yes, that it
wasn’t you, but I can’t…I can no more stop it than I can stop the sun from
rising tomorrow, Sansa. I don’t see the point in wishing away something that
just is.”
She fell silent again.
He swallowed hard. “Do you want to…do you want to stop?”
She turned in his arms and looked at him. She shook her head. “No. I just wish
you weren’t my brother.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Amen, sister.”
End Flashback
Robb sighed and shrugged off the memory as he stepped into the kitchen where he
found Sansa pouring a shot of vodka. He laughed. “What the hell are you doing?”
She looked at him sheepishly. “I’m kind of nervous. So I’m taking a shot to
relax my nerves.”
He sighed and gestured to her. “Pour me one?”
She smiled. “Sure.” As she turned to get him a shot glass he got a gander at
what she was wearing. She was wearing flats, leggings, a skirt over the
leggings and a top that showed her bare shoulder and a fashion scarf. She wore
her hair down and not pulled back. Just the way he liked it.
“You look really nice,” he said.
She glanced at him as she poured his shot. “So do you.”
He shrugged. He hadn’t put too much thought into his attire. He was wearing
jeans, a blue button down and a suit jacket. “So, what can I expect from
Margaery?” he asked.
“The unexpected. Always.”
“Great,” he muttered.
“Robb, you did ask her out, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Then why have you been acting like you don’t want to go out with her when you,
as we established, asked her out?”
Because I am only going out with her to please our Mother, Sansa. I don’t want
to go out with Margaery or anyone else at all. “I don’t know,” he said.
“You’re weird. Okay, ready?”
He stood across the island from her and took his shot glass in hand. He smiled.
“One, two—”
And then she knocked it back. She promptly hunched over, clutching her middle.
“Ack! Oh God, that burns. That fucking burns!”
Robb downed his own shot and winced. It did burn. But he didn’t mind it so
much. He watched in amusement as she went for the fridge and pulled out one of
Arya’s cans of Sunkist and opened it. She sipped it quickly and then stuck out
her tongue and shivered. “Yuck.”
“Why are you nervous anyway?” Robb asked and picked up their shot glasses. He
went over to the sink and placed them inside. “You and Jon are friends.”
“Yeah, but I’ve never been on a date with him before. I don’t remember dating
at all. I don’t remember kissing, I don’t remember flirting. I don’t know if
I’ve…well, anyway. So, um, what are you and Margaery doing?”
It took Rob a minute to switch gears. She didn’t know if she was a virgin. As
her brother he couldn’t tell her that no, she wasn’t. He wasn’t supposed to
comment on it at all. “Uh, we’re going to a drive-in. What are you and Jon
doing?”
There was a knock on the door then and Sansa jumped. Paled. And then hurried to
the door, ran her fingers through her hair, and then opened the door and
smiled. “Hi, Jon.”
And so Robb got the first look at the guy that was taking his Sansa out.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you so much, my two reviewers! LOL It means a lot to me to hear
     your thoughts.
Jon was a few inches shorter than Sansa. He had shoulder length curly hair and
a beard. Should he dwell on the fact that he himself had curly hair (though not
long like Jon’s), and a beard as well?
Probably not.
Robb rather felt that Sansa was apt in describing Jon as a “puppy”. He was soft
spoken and he looked at Sansa as with a reverence in his eyes that made Robb
envious (and jealous). Robb had always had to watch how he looked at Sansa. No
lingering looks, no trace of tenderness that went beyond how a brother might
look at his sister. He couldn’t pay any more attention to her than his other
siblings when they were all in the house together.
Jon had a firm grip when Robb shook his hand. Under different circumstances,
Robb thought he might like Jon. He certainly didn’t give Robb the sense that
there was something lurking under that gentle exterior like Joffrey had. If
only Robb had followed his instincts then instead of being caught up in his
jealousy over Sansa going out with someone else then he and Sansa would
probably be overseas by now, living the life they’d imagined for themselves.
He didn’t think he had cause to worry about Sansa’s safety with Jon, but he
knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his mind from wondering if Jon would kiss her
and touch her – and if Sansa would like his kisses and touches. So, while he
might in other circumstances like Jon, he actually hated him. Jon got to do all
the things that were now denied Robb, and he hated every man, every woman, and
every goddamn couple that got to be open about how they felt.
Not for the first time Robb wondered if he was headed for a mental breakdown.
He also wondered what in the hell was wrong with him that he had wanted to come
home.
“Have fun tonight,” Sansa said and kissed his cheek before heading out with
Jon. Oh yes, he thought as his cheek tingled from that brief contact and her
perfume filled his nose. That was why he’d come home.
xxxxxxxx
“So, I’m really nervous,” Sansa said once they were in Jon’s blue Toyota Camry.
“I took a shot of vodka before you showed up.”
Jon laughed as he turned on the car and pulled out into traffic. “Really?”
She nodded and dug into her purse for Altoids. She opened the tin and offered
him one. He took one and then Sansa did. She wondered if Jon would kiss her
tonight. If he did, she sure hoped she didn’t suck at it.
She didn’t know how pre-accident Sansa kissed. She didn’t know if there were
others before Joffrey. She didn’t know if she’d been felt up, didn’t know if
someone had ever touched her down there, and she certainly had no idea if she’d
ever had sex.
She’d asked her old high school friends sometime after the accident but they
hadn’t known how far she’d gone with Joffrey, and according to them she hadn’t
really dated anyone before him. They said she kissed some guy during a high
school dance freshman year, and they clearly remembered Robb breaking it up and
threatening the guy’s life if he saw the guy’s hands even “an inch near her
ass”.
Sansa certainly hoped she hadn’t had sex with Joffrey. What a terrible person
to waste her first time with. She wondered if Jon had been right. If her
aversion to dating all stemmed from her subconscious knowing what a disaster it
had been. It was odd to her that Joffrey had been responsible for the accident
she and Robb had been in, but she didn’t feel the same kind of anger and
betrayal that the rest of her family did. To her he was the same as any random
stranger that hit someone while drinking and driving. Sure, he was an asshole
for doing it and she was pissed that because of him she didn’t remember much,
but she felt none of the betrayal when her parents had lamented that they
thought he’d been such a nice boy. She didn’t feel like the victim of abuse,
and it didn’t make any sense to her that she had been.
In all she’d read about victims of domestic abuse, she just didn’t fit the
description. But then, perhaps pre-accident Sansa had been a hot mess that had
attracted the abuser in Joffrey. It might explain why she now had so many walls
up when it came to guys and making friends. Jon had slipped in, but for the
most part she preferred to be alone. It was probably also because after her
accident she hadn’t remembered her friends and they’d been gone off to college
before she could even get to know them again.
“Does it help to know that I’m nervous, too?” Jon asked her.
She smiled at him. “It does. So, where are we going?”
“I thought we could go to dinner and then just have a drink and talk?”
“We talk all the time.”
In her head she heard Robb say, “Do you think I bring you here just to make
love to you?”
Sansa’s brow furrowed. Where had that come from? She thought she hadn’t dreamt
last night. Was it possible she had and just didn’t remember it? That had to be
it.
God. Had she been dreaming about her and Robb having sex?
What the fuck was wrong with her?
“Sansa? You okay?” Jon asked. “You look upset.”
“Just remembering a bit of a dream I had last night,” she muttered.
“A dream or a nightmare?”
Sansa didn’t know how to answer that.
xxxxxxx
Sansa had told Robb to expect the unexpected with Margaery, but he would never
have thought she’d go down on him in the car during the second movie. The
evening preceding that hadn’t been horrible even if he wasn’t into it. Margaery
had a sense of humor he liked and she could carry a conversation well enough.
He almost felt sorry for her. She was trying and he wasn’t because he didn’t
care.
He wondered if she knew on some level that he didn’t and so going down on him
was some last ditch effort on her part. He’d been slow to react because he
couldn’t believe she was actually going for it. Before he could stop her, she
had him exposed and her mouth was on him.
His body betrayed him. How could it not? He hadn’t had sex in a long time and
with being around Sansa again…
In California when he’d dated and slept with women, he told himself it was to
fix his life. To move on past his obsession with Sansa and allow them to both
have a normal life. He hadn’t been cheating on her, he had been helping her –
helping them both – by attempting to get over her.
Now though, being back home with Sansa right there (and yet so fucking far away
from him), he felt as though he was cheating on her. If she knew what would she
say? What would she feel?
She’s your sister; she wouldn’t care. She might even think it’s gross, the
traitorous voice in his head said.
His hand found its way to Margaery’s soft locks and he gripped her hair
lightly, shut his eyes, and pretended it was Sansa sucking him off to
completion.
When his orgasm came, Robb had to stop himself from gasping his sister’s name.
xxxxxxxx
Jon walked her to the door which Sansa thought was just the sweetest thing
ever. She thought that was something most guys didn’t do based on the things
she heard in school from other girls complaining about their dates and
boyfriends. She should have known that Jon would do something so gentlemanly
and sweet.
She felt a bit loose from the drinks she’d had after dinner and so she was
ready for Jon to kiss her if he planned on it. She wet her lips with her tongue
and faced him demurely. “I had a really good time tonight, Jon,” she told him.
“But I always have a good time with you so that’s not surprising.”
He smiled, and she was gratified to find that he looked a bit nervous. Good.
That meant he would try to kiss her. She really just wanted to get this first
kiss post-accident out of the way…
“I did, too,” he said. “Do you think we could do it again?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Sansa, can I kiss you?”
She broke into wide smile and was thankful for the Altoids they’d sucked on, on
the way home. “Yes.”
He leaned in and –
And the fucking door opened behind them and the outside light turned on.
They both looked to see who had done it. Sansa expected Arya because it would
be just like her sister to have impeccable timing.
It was Robb.
It was on the tip of her tongue to say Are you fucking kidding me? but she
didn’t. She was about to tell Robb to go away when Jon said, “Well, I guess I
will see you later then, Sansa.” He kissed her cheek, bid Robb goodnight, and
was off.
Furious, Sansa pushed her way in the house, shut the door, and glared at her
brother. “What. The actual. Fuck?”
“What?” He looked almost innocent, but there was something in his eyes that
told her he had definitely timed that interruption perfectly.
“Robb, I was – Jon was—grrr.” She started for her bedroom.
“Sansa, what the hell? Why are you so pissed at me for?”
She turned around and faced him. “You know why,” she hissed. “You purposely
just interrupted my first kiss.”
He laughed. He actually fucking laughed. It was a dark kind of laugh because
there was something dark about him right now. Almost dangerous. “Your first
kiss? You’ve had kisses before tonight, Sansa.”
“I told you I don’t remember them,” she snapped. “See, there’s two Sansa’s,
Robb. There’s pre-accident Sansa that I don’t remember, and quite frankly I
sometimes think that’s best considering pre-accident Sansa made poor choices
and went out with someone like Joffrey—”
“She didn’t always make terrible choices,” he said and started walking towards
her. “She made some pretty good ones I think.”
She ignored him “—then there’s me now. Post-accident Sansa. She got a do-over
thanks to pre-accident Sansa. Things like kissing and dating and boyfriends and
relationships – they’re new to me.”
He moved into her space, crowding her, filling her nose with the scent of
cologne and traces of Margaery’s perfume. Also, she thought she might smell
alcohol on him. She pushed at his chest, attempting to gain some space. She
didn’t understand why he was crowding her so. His hands curled around hers on
his chest and he backed her up to the wall.
She was so stunned by his actions she couldn’t even think straight enough to
form words.
“You want to know about kissing, Sansa?” he said, his voice low. “I can tell
you about kissing.”
He wants to show you, the voice in her head said.
Her gaze dropped to his lips and she felt the air change to something even more
charged. It scared her. She shoved him away and he stumbled back, eyes wide.
“You’ve been drinking,” she observed.
“I had a few shots.”
She wanted to ask if his date went well and he’d been celebrating, or if it had
gone very wrong and he needed the shots to take the edge off.
She was also aware that she needed to get away from him. That charge in the
air…it was making her heart race so fast she thought it might race right out of
her chest. “Goodnight, Robb,” she said and quickly ran up the stairs to her
bedroom.
After she’d changed, washed her face, and brushed her teeth, Sansa lay in bed
trying to conjure up what a kiss between her and Jon would have been like but
the only face she could see was Robb’s. She fell into a fitful sleep.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Sansa got up on her knees and straddled Robb’s calves as he lay on his bed.
Their family was in bed. The nights belonged to her and Robb. She looked down
at him with a mischievous smirk and he arched a brow. “What are you up to?” he
asked softly.
She answered him by pulling his boxers down over his hips. His dick was half-
hard and when she looked down at it and licked her lips, it rose. It made her
feel like some kind of Goddess that she could make it rise like that with just
a look. She might not fully comprehend the power she had over him, but she
liked it.
“Sansa, what—oh, fuck…” He couldn’t shout the way he did when they were alone.
They had become really good about being very, very quiet.
Sansa rolled her tongue around the head of his dick and smiled up at him. “Do
you like that, Robb?”
“Oh, fuck, sweetheart, yes,” he moaned and tunneled his fingers through her
hair.
Being slightly new at this sort of thing, Sansa took her time with him. She
tried different things and learned what he liked by the way he moaned and
shuddered under her. When he really liked something he would grip her hair
harder and she would do that thing again and again.
“Sansa, move baby, I’m going to cum,” he gasped out.
She didn’t move. She wanted to taste him the way he was always tasting her.
“Sansa, move – ahh—” His hips jerked and he bit down hard on his fist as he
came in her mouth. She swallowed as much as she could and then crawled off him
and laid down next to him on the bed. He rolled over onto her and kissed her
hard, murmuring how much he loved her and wanted her and needed her. She
wondered if he could taste himself on her. And then he was trailing kisses down
her body, ardent wet kisses that spoke of need and want and now.
She hummed happily when he pulled her pajama bottoms and panties down and then
off her. She moaned when he licked her. One of the things Sansa loved most
about Robb was how he was definitely a considerate lover who never left her
wanting…
Sansa jerked awake. Her eyes wide as the last of her dream settled in her mind.
Tears stung her eyes. What was happening to her? Why would she dream such a
thing? Why couldn’t she make these dreams stop? Why Robb? Why not Jon? Why?
She rolled over and curled into a ball. She was tired still, and now she was
wide awake and frustrated that she’d had yet another disturbing dream about her
brother. Most disturbing of all was the ache between her legs. That dream had
aroused her.
Sansa was no stranger to masturbation, but she refused to do anything about her
arousal. She would not touch herself after having such an elicit dream about
her brother. Instead, she crawled out of bed with limbs that felt heavy and
went to the shower to hopefully wash all of this madness away.
xxxxxxx
Sansa stayed in her bedroom most of the day. She claimed she just had a lot of
homework. The only times she left her room was to grab something quick to eat
or drink or to use the bathroom. She didn’t see Robb the whole day.
The following afternoon when she made it to the office, Margaery was waiting
for her. She pulled Sansa into the breakroom immediately. “What did Robb say
about me?” she demanded.
“I…don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? He didn’t mention me at all?”
“I saw him very briefly when I got home from my date with Jon and we didn’t
really talk. Then yesterday I didn’t see him at all.”
“How is that even possible?” Margaery asked incredulously.
“I had a lot of homework,” Sansa said with a shrug. “He lives in the basement.
I don’t see him much unless he comes up or I go down.”
Don’t say go down, Sansa! she scolded herself.
Margaery sighed. “You’re of no use to me.”
“Great. Does that mean I can go to work now?”
“Of course not. At least tell me how he seemed when you saw him.”
Drunk. And a bit…predatory. “He seemed really happy.”
Margaery clapped her hands happily. “As well he should have been.” She frowned.
“Although he seemed more uptight after the blowjob than he did before…”
Sansa felt as though Margaery had slapped her with that piece of information.
She held up her hand and backed away.
“TMI?” Margaery asked and laughed. “I’m sorry. I just had to tell someone.”
“Don’t you have other friends you can tell?”
“Yeah, but…you’re my friend, too. Okay, you’re right, that was probably weird
for you to hear. He is your brother and that was probably gross.”
If only that was the problem. Gross would have been preferable to…to whatever
unexplainable anger she felt at the idea of Robb getting head from Margaery at
a fucking drive-in.
Robb, of course, chose that moment to waltz in. He stopped abruptly when he saw
Margaery and then he looked at Sansa.
“There you are,” Margaery purred and came over to him. “Have you been hiding
from me today?”
“Uh…” he darted a look at Sansa. “Actually, Margaery, I was hoping to talk to
my sister—”
Sansa shook her head. “You know what, I’m good. I’m good.”
Robb took a step toward her. “What’s wrong?”
Sansa backed away from him and then just spun around and marched off.
Apparently though, Robb was not about to be put off. He caught up with her
halfway down the hall and grabbed her arm. She shook him off and turned to face
him. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped.
He looked hurt by that and Sansa thought, Good, I hope that hurt! Her next
thought was – Get a fucking grip, Sansa. What is the matter with you?
“I’m sorry about the other night,” he said. “I was being a dick.”
“Oh, good God!” she exclaimed and threw up her hands.
“What?” Robb asked, looking both concerned and supremely confused.
“Can you not say dick? Don’t ever say dick. Dick is off the table.”
“Sansa, what the fuck is the matter with you?”
She pointed at him. “That is a fantastic question. And I do not have an answer
for you. But I’m going to go and think about it. Alone. Very much alone. I
cannot stress alone enough.”
He held up his hands as if in surrender. “I got it. Loud and clear.”
“Great.” She stormed off and made a beeline for the bathroom. Once inside, she
locked the door and started to cry. I am not jealous, I am not jealous, I am
not jealous, she told herself over and over. Robb is my brother. He’s my
brother. Robb. Is. My.Brother.If he wants to get his dick sucked off by
Margaery then he’s allowed. I am so NOT jealous.
When she finally emerged ten minutes later, she avoided both Margaery and Robb
for the rest of the day.
And then for the next week.
xxxxxxxxxx
Robb was going out of his mind. Sansa had avoided him like the plague for a
week and when he asked Margaery if she had any idea what had upset his sister
so much, Margaery had said she had no idea, that Sansa had seemed on edge that
day to begin with.
When Robb walked into a room, Sansa walked out of it. When he asked her a
question, she answered it but wouldn’t even look at him. And, he’d noticed, she
hadn’t talked much with Margaery either.
Flashback
“Thank you so much, Robb!” Roslin, Sansa’s best friend said happily after he’d
given her a jump, checked her oil, and filled her window washer fluid. When
he’d gotten home that afternoon he had found Sansa and Roslin rummaging in the
garage. He’d asked what was going on and Sansa had told him they were looking
for jumper cables since Roslin’s battery had died.
Robb had given the girl a hand. He liked Roslin as Sansa’s best friend. Plus,
he wasn’t an asshole. Of course he’d help her out.
“You’re welcome,” he said with a grin. “Sansa never checks her oil so I do it
for her when I think of it. Right, San?” He furrowed his brow when he turned
around and found her gone. “When did she leave?” he asked Roslin.
“Oh, a little while ago,” Roslin said with a frown. “I need to go or I’d go up
and say bye. Can you tell her bye for me?”
Robb nodded. “Of course.”
Roslin left and Robb went in search of Sansa. He wasn’t sure why she’d just
leave her best friend alone with him like that, and frankly he found it rude.
He heard music coming from her bedroom and when he attempted to push it open,
he found she’d locked it. Odd, that. Sansa never locked her door.
“Sansa, let me in,” he called through the door.
“Go away,” she called back.
“Sansa, come on. What’s going on?”
“I said go away.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Why?”
But she wouldn’t answer him. Instead, she turned up her radio. He sighed again
and figured he’d just talk to her later that night.
But later that night when he tried to see her, she still had her door locked.
She knew he wouldn’t call attention to himself by banging on her door so he’d
shuffled back to bed wondering what in the hell had gotten into her.
The next afternoon he got home before she did and he waited in her bedroom.
When she walked through and saw him standing there she started to walk out.
Robb ate the distance between them and grabbed her arm. “Sansa, what is the
matter with you? Why are you so upset with me?”
She pursed her lips together and lifted her chin. That was code for “I’ll never
tell.”
Robb took her face in his hands and made her look at him. “Sweetheart, what’s
wrong with you? You were rude yesterday just taking off on Roslin while I—”
Her eyes narrowed. “While you flirted with Roslin?”
He dropped his hands and gaped at her. “Sansa, are you – are you jealous?”
She glared at him and he laughed. She shoved at him and caught her in his arms
and held her tight against him. “Sansa, I was not flirting with Roslin. I was
being nice to her, that’s all.”
“She was flirting with you and you just ate it all up!”
“Was she? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Oh come on, Robb,” she groused.
“I truly hadn’t,” he said and took her face in his hands again. “I only have
eyes for you, Sansa. You’re the one that owns me.”
She softened and Robb pulled her with him to her bed. He pushed her down on the
bed and climbed over her. He smirked down at her. “Shall I demonstrate just how
much I’m yours?”
Her entire face lit up and then she pulled him down for a kiss.
End Flashback
It was probably too much to hope for that she was jealous. Besides, what could
she be jealous of now? She had been fine the night of his date.
Unless Margaery had told him what she’d done to him at the drive-in…?
No. Margaery wouldn’t tell Sansa that. Just because he and Sansa had once had
no boundaries when it came to what was brotherly and sisterly, didn’t mean that
others weren’t aware. Margaery might not have a lot of boundaries but even she
knew not tell Sansa she’d gone down on him.
No, he’d no doubt scared Sansa by how he’d acted. He’d almost kissed her. He
would have had she not pushed him away from her. He didn’t want to think of
what the repercussions of his actions would have been had he done it.
So, for the past week, Sansa been seeing more of Jon while she did everything
she could to avoid Robb. Meanwhile, he’d been playing nice with Margaery whilst
trying to fend off her bold advances.
She didn’t like being told no.
When he told her that he wanted to take things slowly, she had ate it up and
told him that she knew from the minute they’d met that Robb was one of the
“good ones”. He certainly didn’t feel like one of the “good ones” lately. He
rather felt like the muck under someone’s shoe – specifically Sansa’s.
The only one that was at all pleased by the fact that brother and sister were
barely speaking was their mother. Though he was certain that she had no idea
that Sansa was upset with him. Catelyn just saw them not engaging much and took
that as a promising sign that Sansa was preoccupied with Jon and that Robb was
preoccupied with Margaery.
“Don’t forget the company picnic this coming weekend,” their father announced
over dinner one night. There was a collective groan at the table. Robb knew
that meant a day of Margaery beside him at all times. He looked across the
table at Sansa who looked at their father and asked, “May I invite Jon?”
Robb schooled his features into one of nonchalance while inside he felt like a
volcano about to erupt. She wouldn’t even look his way.
xxxxxxxxxx
Sansa liked Jon’s kisses.
When Jon kissed her she could put Robb aside in her mind. Could forget for a
little while about the dreams she’d been having. For example, the other night
she’d dreamt they’d been groping each other in the bathroom. It had felt so
real she swore she could feel his lips on her and the edge of the bathroom
counter digging into her back.
She’d woken up hot and aching for some kind of release. She instead rolled over
and forced herself to think about Jon. She replayed the dream in her mind, but
put Jon in the bathroom with her. He was the one with his hand up her shirt. It
was her hand down Jon’s pants, not Robb’s pants. It was Jon saying he wanted
her. It was Jon’s chest she ran her hands over.
She wished Jon was a little bolder. She wished he’d put his hands on her
because she didn’t know how to ask him to. Or maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe he
wasn’t ready. It had only been a week, but she couldn’t help but think that if
Jon touched her the way Robb did in her dreams maybe Robb would disappear from
her dreams.
She wondered if she could ask Margaery how best to let Jon know she was ready
for more. She wasn’t sure she was, but if it meant putting an end to this…thing
with Robb then she would make herself ready.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Notes
     This one is a doozy...
Every year the Starks put on a company barbecue. In their somewhat humble law
firm, they had three other attorney’s besides Ned working for them. So, to say
thank you, Ned liked to have a company outing in which the people that worked
for him in the firm could invite their family and friends for a day out.
Every year it was somewhere different. This year, because they’d begun planning
late, they decided to hold it at the park. The park boasted three playgrounds
for the kids, a trail around a decent sized pond that people could swim in, and
a trail around the pond. They rented out the entire place for the day, throwing
a good chunk of change at it to have the snack bar open and running so they
could serve their people food.
What this meant for the Stark children was having to be extra friendly and
personable to the people in attendance, and making sure everything ran
smoothly. They were all up at what Bran called “the ass crack of dawn” to
prepare.
Sansa ended up in the car with her siblings, bleary-eyed and in desperate need
of more coffee. She sat in the back and let Arya have the front with Robb. She
had actually fallen asleep by the time they arrived at the park. She climbed
out of Robb’s car with a yawn and stretched before following the brood to the
picnic area to help set up.
Robb somehow became her partner.
“Are you ever going to talk to me again?” he asked as they set to work
arranging picnic tables.
She looked at him. “I’ve been talking to you.”
“Yeah, you give me one word answers. You won’t even look at me, Sansa.”
It was easier not to look at him. When she looked at him she was reminded of
dreams and feelings and thoughts she shouldn’t be having. She looked at him now
though and wished she hadn’t. He looked so forlorn and she felt bad. He hadn’t
done anything, not really.
Also, he was handsome. He was handsome and every time she looked at him she
couldn’t stop herself from thinking it. Her dreams were seeping into her waking
life and making her think and feel things she shouldn’t be thinking and
feeling.
“I’m sorry I was such a di—an ass to you when you came home from your date with
Jon,” he said. “I don’t know what got into me. I’ve just been a little stressed
lately with work and schoolwork…I think I was angling for a fight.”
It hadn’t really seemed like a fight she thought he’d been angling for, but
perhaps that was just her own take on the situation based on her wildly
inappropriate dreams. Christ. How depraved had she become?
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him if maybe Margaery should blow him
again to take the edge off.
“It’s fine, Robb,” she said.
“Is it really?”
“Yep. I got my kiss from Jon that I wanted. And then some. So yeah, everything
is awesome.”
Had she really just said that out loud? Robb’s jaw clenched. “Great,” he said
tightly. “I think Dad needs me.” He walked away from her.
“I’m losing my ever loving mind,” she muttered.
That Margaery and Robb had fooled around should bother her to the point that
she wanted to point out to Robb that she had since gotten the kiss she’d wanted
spoke of insanity to Sansa. It shouldn’t matter to her that he and Margaery had
fooled around and yet it did. It bothered her so much that she wanted to lash
out at him. Wanted to hurt him.
Yet the only way to hurt him was if he felt the same. And why would he? He was
aware that she was his sister. She’d even made up an entire exchange in her
mind as something more because her dreams had blurred the lines between what
Robb was in her dreams and what he was in reality.
She wondered if perhaps she needed to see someone. But how in the hell did one
talk to a therapist about having X-rated dreams about your brother that left
you aroused? That made you see him differently and get jealous over the fact
that he was dating someone? They would look at her as though she was disgusting
and quite honestly, she felt pretty disgusting. What was going to make it stop?
xxxxxxx
 
So, Sansa had gotten her kiss from Jon. Well, wasn’t that just great.
As he helped Arya and Bran set up tents for shade over the picnic tables, he
inwardly seethed. Sansa was still putting him at a distance, but this time it
wasn’t because she didn’t feel she knew him all that well. No, this time he had
obviously pissed her off to the point that she was actively shoving him out of
her life. As if the fact that she didn’t remember anything about him, about
them, wasn’t bad enough. Now it was like the radio silence of the five years he
was in California, but this time it was worse because she was right in front of
him and he could do nothing.
He almost felt as though that part of his life hadn’t existed. It had been
wiped from Sansa’s memory, he had been wiped from her memory. Was it real? Did
it happen? Was it just some construct of his mind?
Robb felt out to sea. Lost. Adrift. Just like those days before he discovered
Sansa felt something for him, too. He almost didn’t feel real. He had never
felt more alone in his life. Sansa forgetting him and trying to awkwardly
establish some kind of brother-sister relationship with him was one thing, but
this – this shutting him out was another thing entirely.
And being here, in this park, where there were memories of them everywhere…
Before their relationship there was the pond where they swam together. The
playgrounds where they played when they were kids. The swings where he’d push
her just so he could be alone with her. And then after their relationship there
was the parking lot where they’d park at night and make love in the backseat.
The trail they’d sometimes walk through and fool around on.
He was ashamed of himself for even parking in the spot they used to park in.
She hadn’t noticed. And he wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected. He’d park
there and she’d have this grand revelation?
Yes, actually. It was what he’d hoped for even though he knew it was wrong. He
was constantly caught between wanting to protect Sansa from what he knew would
probably disturb and disgust her if she remembered and wanting desperately for
her to remember so he wasn’t alone in this.
Theoretically speaking if she remembered he wouldn’t be alone in this…he
figured if/when that time came, he’d cross that bridge if/when he came to it.
“Robb, you okay?” Bran asked.
Robb nodded and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I was just
thinking now was a good time to start that debilitating drug habit I’ve been
meaning to pick up.”
Bran laughed. “Yeah, I’ll go see if I can get you a coffee.”
Robb nodded his thanks and watched his brother run off.
“Robb!”
Inwardly, he sighed and looked over at Arya. “Yeah?”
“Can you go see what the fuck Sansa is doing over there by the swings? She’s
not helping.”
Robb sighed. “Why don’t you go see what she’s doing?”
“Because I need to help Mom get some more crap from the car.”
“Language, Arya!” Catelyn called out.
“Fuck me,” Arya muttered irritably.
Robb just laughed.
xxxxxxxxx
“Roslin likes Harry, but then Shae told me that Harry likes me and not Roslin,”
Sansa said.
“And do you like Harry?” Robb asked from behind her.
She felt him push her forward on the swing and she considered her answer. “No.
I don’t think I do. I’m not sure I like anyone right now, honestly.”
“Well, I can’t say that I’m not pleased to hear that.”
Sansa looked over her shoulder at him. “And why is that?”
“Because I’m not sure anyone is good enough for you in that fucking high
school,” he told her matter-of-factly.
“In that case I’ll be sure not to tell when I do like someone. I don’t need you
scaring them off.”
“Sansa.”
Robb came to stand beside her as she stared at the swing set. She pointed to
it. “In high school, you pushed me on the swings there and I told you about how
Roslin had a crush on Harry and Shae told me that Harry had a crush on me and
not Roslin.”
“Yes,” Robb said softly.
She turned slightly and pointed to the sandbox. “And there you punched some kid
after he pushed me into the dirt when we were kids.”
“Yes,” he said.
“I don’t even know who Harry is.”
His hands itched to touch her. To draw her close, to run his fingers through
his hair – something, anything. He didn’t feel like he was fading away so much
now and he craved contact to confirm that. “It doesn’t matter. You remembered
things about me – about our…relationship. That’s what matters.” He pointed to
the jungle gym. “Do you remember playing knights and maidens in there?”
She furrowed her brow. “No. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Sansa.” He couldn’t stop himself from hugging her then. God,
when was the last time he’d held her in his arms? When he’d first arrived home?
He cradled the back of her head. Let his mother say something to him, right now
he didn’t care. Sansa had memories of them.
“I could feel it,” she said. “The closeness we had.”
Robb shut his eyes and had to fight hard not bury his nose in her hair. “Yes.”
He could feel her arms around him, her hands warm through his shirt.
“Hey…” came a slightly familiar voice.
No, no, don’t interrupt us, Robb thought. Not yet. Give us just a little more
time…
But then Sansa was detangling herself and leaving him. “Jon!” she said
excitedly.
Fucking Jon…
“I just had memories,” Sansa told Jon.
Jon smiled broadly. “What did you remember?”
She relayed to Jon what she’d told Robb and Robb smiled at the excitement in
her voice and in her face.
And then he began to worry.
She’d had two memories back to back and in a short span of time. This park was
rife with them. What if she had one she didn’t know how to deal with?
He had to keep an eye on her. God, and he’d parked in that same spot as he used
to…shit. It didn’t seem like such a good idea to him anymore. If she remembered
them, the way they were, and didn’t know how to process something like
that…what would it do to her mind? If Sansa remembered them, Robb wanted her in
a safe place when it happened, and preferably with him by her side.
xxxxxxxxx
Sansa felt as though she was walking on a cloud after having those two memories
return. It had been the strangest thing. She had been helping Rickon set up a
tent and all she’d done was glance over at the playground and she’d seen the
whole scene like a movie playing out in her head. After she’d finished with
Rickon she’d gone over there to see if anything else could trigger a memory.
Only one other thing had (the sandbox), but that was still something amazing in
Sansa’s point of view.
And, it had seemed to break down the wall that had been there between her and
Robb. A wall she had constructed, but a wall nonetheless. She was so happy to
have remembered, and she was happy to have made Robb happy, too.
It wasn’t even bothering her that Margaery hadn’t left Robb’s side once since
she’d arrived. That was fine. Sansa had Jon. Jon had been by her side the
entire time.
Now they were sitting on the little beach together away from the festivities
and just looking out over the water together and talking.
Sansa dug out her Altoids from her pocket and handed Jon one and then took one
for herself. He grinned knowingly at her. “What?” she asked.
“I know you want a kiss when you dig out the Altoids,” he told her and she
laughed and blushed.
She sighed and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He wound an
arm around her and she shut her eyes and smiled with contentment.
“So, your brother doesn’t seem to like me much,” Jon said.
Sansa’s eyes popped open and she frowned. “Which one?”
“Robb.”
“Meh. He’s just doing his big brother thing. Don’t worry about it.”
“I kind of do though. He’s your big brother and I want him to like me.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She popped her head up and looked at him with a smile.
“All that matters is that I like you.”
Jon grinned and leaned in for a kiss. “Can’t argue with that,” he murmured.
When they parted, she sighed and looked around. She pointed to the beginning of
the path – or the end of it depending on which way you caught it – and asked if
Jon if he wanted to walk it.
“I’ve been here like maybe twice since my accident,” Sansa said. “I know my Mom
used to take us all the time as kids, and I obviously hung out here in high
school with Robb a few times – hence the memory. Want to check out the path
with me? I haven’t done that at all since my accident.”
Jon stood and held out his hands. “Sure,” he said.
She placed her hands in his and stood. They kissed briefly, and then started on
the path into the woods.
xxxxxxx
“Arya, have you seen your sister?” Robb asked as he scanned the perimeter of
the gathering.
“I did,” Margaery piped up. “She and Jon went down to the beach I think.”
Robb had a bad feeling. He wasn’t sure where it was coming from – maybe just
his own fears and worries, but he’d managed to keep a close eye on Sansa for
most of the afternoon and he wasn’t about to lose track of her now.
There were so many minefields of memories to be had in this park, and Robb
needed to be there with her just in case. “Mind if we go down there and see how
they’re doing?” he asked Margaery. He was really doing the polite thing by
asking because, quite frankly, even if she said no he was still going out
there.
Margaery smiled. “It’s so cute how protective you are of your sister,” she
said. “Sure, let’s go.”
xxxxxxxx
The path was nice. Trees surrounded them and the trail was so thin they had to
walk single-file. Every once in a while a chipmunk would dash across Jon’s
path. As long as a snake didn’t come slithering out, Sansa would count this
hike as a success.
They rounded a corner and the trail opened up considerably. A steep hill was
before them, and behind that hill was another one. Sansa followed Jon over the
crest of a smaller hill where the trail actually was and she glanced up to the
side at the hills covered with acorns and leaves.
And then she saw it like a movie in her head. Just as the other memories had
come.
“No one is going to be coming down here, I promise,” Robb said as he sat beside
her on the crest of the second hill. “We’re all alone…come on.”
“But someone could walk by, Robb,” she protested.
“No one will. Trust me.”
He pushed her back onto the hill and kissed her. “I’ll even be quick,” he said
huskily and undid the snap of her jeans. He trailed kisses down her body and
then pulled her jeans down and then her panties and proceeded to go down on
her. She tangled her fingers in his curls and gasped at the feel of his tongue
on her. She loved also, the feel of his beard rubbing in just the right places…
There was a ringing in Sansa’s ears as the scene ended in her mind.
“Sansa!”
She blinked and found Jon standing there looking almost frantic. “What
happened? Where did you go? You just stopped and I thought you were right
behind me,” he explained. “I called your name but you wouldn’t answer. What’s
wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you having another memory? A bad
one?”
But Sansa didn’t know how to answer him. She couldn’t even form words. She
couldn’t even think. Had that been an actual memory or a memory of a dream she
didn’t remember having? All her other memories had come to her in that way
though.
No, no. That couldn’t have been a memory. It couldn’t have been. How was
that…no.
“Sansa, talk to me, you’re scaring me.”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” she said. Her stomach roiled. She ran behind
the nearest tree and threw up.
“Sansa, sweetheart,” Jon murmured as he came up beside her and started to rub
her back. “Let’s go back, okay? You might have food poisoning.”
Tears stung her eyes. She was going crazy. She’d snapped; she’d officially
snapped. She didn’t even remember the rest of the walk out of the trail. She
felt outside of herself, as though she wasn’t in her body anymore.
When they hit the parking lot and she saw Robb’s car another one played out in
her head.
Sansa and Robb were curled up in the backseat of his car and they were laughing
together.
“I’m doing it,” she said and stretched up to slap her hand against the steamed
window.
Robb laughed and pulled her back down. He kissed her and smiled against her
mouth. “Happy now? You had yourTitanic moment.”
“Yes,” she murmured and kissed him. “Hey, guess what?”
“What?” he asked as he trailed a hand down her back.
“I love you.”
He smiled. “I love you, too.”
“I think I’m going to be sick again,” she muttered. “Take me home, Jon, please,
take me home.”
“Let me get you in the car and then I’ll go tell your family.”
“No, just get me out of here. Please, I need to go. I can’t be here. I need to
go.”
“Do you have your cell on you? You need to tell someone you’re leaving, Sansa.”
She nodded and fumbled with her phone with shaking hands. She couldn’t make it
work. She couldn’t grip the phone, she couldn’t see anything from the tears
that blurred her eyes.
“I’ll call,” Jon said and took her phone. He led her quickly to his car and she
got in, her limbs feeling like jelly. Jon shut the door behind her and she
heard him talking, but she didn’t know to who. And he took a while talking to
them. When he got in the car she asked him who he’d called.
“Robb,” Jon said. “He’s on the trail with Margaery. He sounded worried. I told
him I was taking you home, that you got sick on the trail.”
“Did you tell him anything else?”
Jon paused after he started the car. “I told him you weren’t acting right.”
“I always cry when I throw up,” she said weakly.
“No, Sansa, you look spooked. Like you witnessed a murder or something. Did you
remember something?”
She didn’t answer. She didn’t know how. She couldn’t think clearly enough to
come up with a lie. “I’m fine, Jon,” she whispered.
“I’ll take you home and stay with you for as long as you need okay?”
Sansa nodded, wondering if she was actually losing her mind.
***** Chapter 10 *****
Sansa had had more memories. Robb was certain of it. The kind she couldn’t
understand and had probably disturbed her. Jon had said she’d looked spooked,
he’d also said she’d thrown up. Right now, all Robb wanted to do was get to her
and talk to her and try to make her understand what had gone on. He couldn’t
even imagine how she must feel and what she must think trying to piece it all
together. Most likely, Sansa was having the same reaction to it that their
mother had when he’d confessed: disgust.
“Would you slow down?” Margaery groused behind him. “I don’t really get why we
have to run after Sansa just because she had a spot of food poisoning. It
happens. Jon’s with her so I’m sure she’s fine, Robb.”
“He said she wasn’t acting right,” Robb told her.
“Yeah, and maybe Jon’s a drama queen. But, I mean, does anyone act right when
they have food poisoning? It sucks.”
Robb forced himself to slow down. If he acted too crazy about getting to Sansa,
Margaery might say something to his parents. That would not be good, especially
when it came to Catelyn. If she knew that Sansa was having memories of them she
might tell him to go away again. He wouldn’t survive another separation from
Sansa, especially now if she remembered and there was some small chance they
could find a way to be together.
“You’re right,” he said and forced himself to slow down.
“I’m always right,” she replied and slung her arm through his even though the
path was not wide enough to walk side-by-side for very long. “Ya know, we could
make some use of the fact that no one is around…” She pushed him off the path
and against a tree. Robb winced as his head cracked against it. He looked down
at Margaery who was looking up at him like she meant to have him as a snack.
She probably did.
“People will be walking by here,” he told her.
“We could give them a show,” she said with a smirk.
“No, I don’t think so,” Robb said and pushed her gently away from him. “Come
on, let’s get back to the picnic.”
Robb spent the walk back trying to figure out a way to see Sansa alone without
rousing any suspicion from his mother.
xxxxxxxx
“Sansa, how are you feeling?” Jon asked gently as he sat down facing her on her
bed. Sansa was curled up in fetal position just staring across her room.
“I’m fine,” she said hollowly.
“Do you feel sick?”
In the head, she thought. “I’m fine.”
“Can you give me a little more than that?” he asked and ran his hand through
her hair. “Maybe what else has upset you besides throwing up?”
Her phone rang then and she shook her head as she looked at it on her
nightstand.
Jon grabbed it and went out in the hall.
xxxxxxxx
“What’s going on with my sister?” Robb asked Jon. He’d managed to break away
from the picnic and Margaery by hiding in the bathroom. “Why didn’t she answer
her own phone?”
“She looked at it like it was the devil,” Jon replied. “So I figured I would
get it for her.”
“What is she doing?”
“She’s just lying in bed all curled up looking rather…well…”
“Yeah?”
“Broken. She’s staring off into space and every time I ask her if she’s okay,
if she needs something, or how she’s feeling she just says ‘I’m fine’. Do you
think one of you Starks could come and see her?”
Robb would think of something to tell his mother. He had to. But he didn’t want
Jon to know he would be coming in case he told Sansa that. She might get it in
her head to avoid him. “I’ll see if I can get Bran or Rickon to head over.”
“Thanks, man. I’ll tell her.”
Robb ended the call and stuffed his phone in his pocket. Okay. He had to do
this right and give his mother no cause for suspicion, and no reason to prefer
to actually send Bran or Rickon over. Hopefully, Margaery would do him a solid
and not blab about how worried he was about Sansa.
He left the bathroom and made his way over to his mother and father who were
sitting at a table talking with some friends. He waved to his mother to get her
attention. If he spoke to his father and his mother found out she would get
suspicious. Best to talk to her first.
She came over to him with a frown. “What is it?”
“Jon called me on Sansa’s phone,” Robb said. “I guess she got sick when they
went on the trail. She threw up.”
“Oh no!” Catelyn looked worried. “Where is she now?”
“Jon took her home. I just talked to him. He’s with her, and I guess she’s
really not feeling all that great. He doesn’t want to leave her alone to get
her something to help settle her belly and keep her hydrated so I thought I’d
head out and do that.”
“Of course, of course. If you need me, give me a call. In fact, just call me
anyway and let me know how she’s doing, okay?”
“Definitely,” Robb said.
xxxxxxxx
“I don’t want any of my brothers here,” Sansa told Jon. “And definitely not
Arya. She’ll just call me a cow and tell me to get out of bed.”
“I think you should just see them, Sansa,” Jon said. “Maybe it will help
with…whatever it is that’s upsetting you so much. Since you don’t want to tell
me, or can’t, maybe having someone here that you can tell will help.”
Nothing can help me, and certainly no one, Sansa thought miserably. I fucked my
brother, Jon. Before you knew me I was a brother-fucker. And if my feelings for
him as of late are anything to go by I’ve been headed down that path again. I’m
sick. And so is Robb.
“I want to wash my face,” she murmured and crawled out of the bed.
Jon helped her out of the bed even though she didn’t need it. He was such a
good man. And she liked him, she really did. He was her best friend…and she
could never tell him the truth of her life. She could never tell anyone.
Sansa shut the bathroom door behind her and stared at herself in the mirror.
Her dream came back; the one of her and Robb groping each other in this very
bathroom.
It hadn’t been a dream, had it? she thought. It had been a memory. Had all
those dreams been memories in disguise? Why now? Why were they all coming back
now?
Robb. That was the reason why. That had to be the reason why. His presence back
home had opened some kind of door in her mind. Not all of the puzzle pieces
were there, but she was sure it wouldn’t take long.
She washed her face, dried it, and padded back to her bedroom.
She froze when she saw Robb standing there. She looked around. Where did Jon
go? She needed him; she couldn’t be alone with Robb. She didn’t even want to be
in same room as him.
“Jon?!” she called out and rushed out of the room. “Jon?”
“He’s gone, Sansa,” Robb said from behind her just as she reached the top of
the stairs. “I sent him to the store to get ginger ale and Gatorade.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said.
When she felt his hand on her arm she jerked away from him. She turned to face
him but wouldn’t look at him. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped. “Don’t ever touch
me again.”
“You remember,” he said softly.
“Not everything, but I got the gist.”
“On the trail?”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” she said and started marching down the hall
to her bedroom. She heard Robb following her quickly and she tried to shut the
door before he could get in, but he pushed his way in.
“I know you don’t want to talk about this, Sansa. I know that it’s upset you—”
“Upset me?” she shouted. “There are no words to describe how I feel right now,
Robb. You’re my brother. I was…with my brother.”
“I know,” he said softly.
“God, it’s not the whole family, is it? Are we all sick? Are Bran and Arya…are
you and Arya?”
“Sansa, no. It was only us.”
“Why?”
“Because we loved each other. Not just as brother and sister, but as a man and
a woman.”
She shook her head adamantly and wiped furiously at the tears that fell. “No.
No. No.”
“Yes. Can you tell me what you remember?”
“I can’t even say it. We were sick, right? Is that why you went away? To get
help? Did it work? Can I go, too?”
He sighed and shut his eyes. When he opened them, she saw tears. He raked a
hand through his hair and said, “I went away because Mom figured it out and I
had to tell her the truth. She wanted me to go, and I knew that I had to. For
you. I wanted to give you a chance at a normal life. Since you didn’t remember,
you had more of a chance for that than I did.”
Sansa was reeling. “Mom…knows? Mom. Our Mom.”
“Yes, Sansa, our mom. She knows.”
“Does anyone else?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry,” he said and started to cry. “I didn’t want this for you. I didn’t
want it to happen this way.”
Sansa forced herself to stand still even though part of her wanted to go to
him. How could she comfort him in this though? She could barely wrap her mind
around it and he was her big brother that was supposed to protect her, not fuck
her.
“Tell me what I can do to make this better for you, please,” he begged. “I’ll
do it. I’ll do anything.”
“When did it start?” she asked quietly. “How?”
“I fell in love with you—”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true, Sansa. You might not like it or welcome it but I love you.”
She turned her head away from him and looked out her window that she was
standing next to. “Jon’s back,” she murmured.
“Sansa, send him away, please. We need to talk about this.”
xxxxxx
Sansa didn’t even remember what she told Jon to make him leave. He did though,
yet he was worried. He kissed her forehead and told her he’d call her later.
Sansa tried not to feel she wasn’t worthy of such a good man.
“Thank you,” Robb said after Jon was gone and she’d shut the door.
“I didn’t send him away for you,” she said and turned to face him.
“Just the same.” He gestured to the table. “Have a seat?”
She did so, stiffly. She stretched her arms out on the table and folded her
hands together tightly. He sat down across from her.
“It started when I was a junior and you were a freshman,” he told her. “I know
you don’t want to hear it, but I fell in love with you.”
“How is that even possible?”
“Sansa, we were always close—”
“So are Bran and Rickon. So are Arya and Bran. So are a million other siblings
on the planet. That doesn’t mean you fall into bed with them!”
“It wasn’t just sex, Sansa. That’s not what it was about. Not for us. You loved
me back. I didn’t rape you, I didn’t take advantage of you. I would never have
done that.”
“Oh, well, that takes a load off. My brother that was fucking me on the side
had some standards,” she said sarcastically.
He clenched his jaw. “You fucked me back, Sansa. It wasn’t a one-sided thing.
In fact, you were the one that kissed me and started our whole affair. Do you
remember that?”
She glared at him. “No.”
“When you had those memories, did you feel anything? I’m not talking about the
obvious distress you felt. You said this morning when you remembered me pushing
you on the swings and how I punched that kid for you, you said you felt the
closeness we had. Did you feel anything when you remembered the other things?”
Sansa pursed her lips together and slid her arms off the table.
Her silence said everything that she would not. “You did,” he said.
She looked at him for a long time and then finally stood from her chair. “I’m
done talking,” she said and headed back to her room.
Robb let her go. She had a lot to think about. A lot to process already.
He was ashamed to feel hope.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter has a lot going on!
Sansa avoided Robb for two days. She didn’t go to work, only to classes. She
claimed she still wasn’t up to par and that she had papers to finish before the
end of the semester. Robb supposed he should at least be thankful that she
hadn’t told their mother about those memories returning.
He knew he had to give her space. He couldn’t push her to talk to him, even if
he knew she must have questions. A lot had been thrown at her in a short span
of time, so he gave her the time she needed to process.
On the third day, she finally came to him. It was late, everyone else was in
bed and Robb was sitting up in bed and reading one of his textbooks when there
was a faint knock on his door. He got up, thinking it was anyone else in the
house but Sansa. She had never been down to his room in the basement. Not once.
But then there she was, not looking directly at him and playing with the hem of
her shirt. She looked nervous; she rather reminded him of a frightened animal
ready to bolt at the first chance she got. “Can we talk?” she asked.
Don’t act too eager, he told himself. Don’t scare her off. He stepped aside to
let her through. “Of course.”
Robb let her claim a spot (his desk chair) before he claimed his own (the chair
in the corner opposite her. He thought sitting on the bed might creep her out).
She shifted in the chair as though she couldn’t get comfortable, further
evidence that she was feeling rattled – not that he blamed her. Robb waited
patiently for her to start. He was determined that she would be in charge here,
not him. It was the only way to gain her trust and hopefully calm her nerves.
“You said that I initiated it,” she said finally. “Can you tell me how?” She
sounded as though she was conducting a professional interview. He supposed this
was her way of keeping him at a distance while she sorted it all out in her
head.
“Sure,” he said. “Well, we were at the park together and horsing around like
kids, like the old days – swinging on the swings, going on the monkey bars,
playing on the see-saw. Then we just kind of sat down together on one of the
benches near the water.”
“We went to the park a lot, ya know… before?”
“Yes. We’d go and just spend time together. I pushed you on the swings, we
walked on the trail, and we talked. Like I said before, we were close.”
“And you had… feelings for me then?”
“Yes, Sansa. I was in love with you then.”
Her all business demeanor dropped and her brow furrowed in confusion, her
posture dropping and not so ramrod straight. “How – ?” She broke off and shook
her head. “Forget it.” She straightened again. “Keep going about what happened
that night, please.”
Robb leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You put your head on
my shoulder while we were sitting there. We both got quiet. I was thinking
about how much I wanted to kiss you and couldn’t and I turned my head to tell
you we should head back and you…laid one on me.”
She pursed her lips together. “And then what?”
“I stopped it.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Why? If it’s what you wanted?”
“Because as much as I wanted it, I needed to know why you did it and make sure
you knew what you were doing.”
“Wouldn’t my having done it meant that I knew what I was doing?”
Robb smiled. “That’s what you said then, too.”
She didn’t smile back. “Then what happened?”
“We talked about it. You were embarrassed that I’d stopped it and worried that
I thought you were, in your words, gross.”
“Hm.”
“I put you at ease by telling you I loved you, and had for a long time. You
asked me if I meant that I loved you as a brother or as something more—”
“And you said as something more,” she finished. She was looking somewhere
across the room though, and not at Robb. “Then I told you I felt the same way
and we kissed again. Then you stopped it again and said we had to talk about
what this meant and what would happen next.”
“Yes,” Robb said softly. “You remembered. Just now or—?”
Now she looked at him. “No, I remembered yesterday.”
“Then why…?”
“I wanted to verify I guess. I’ve been having dreams since you came home. Now I
think they might have been memories.”
“Can you tell me about some of them?”
She reddened and looked down at her lap. She was sitting on her hands and had
her legs together primly. “I don’t think I can.”
“I can verify—”
“They were a little X-rated, Robb. I’m not feeling all that comfortable talking
about it.”
“All of them?”
She looked at him with an arched brow. “You sound almost…gleeful.”
He opted not to answer her on that. “You’ve been having dreams about us this
whole time I’ve been back?” His mind went back over all the exchanges they’d
had since he returned. He sat up straighter. “Is that why you weren’t talking
to me? Because you were remembering?”
“I didn’t know they were memories. I didn’t know what going on. To me they were
just dreams that I…couldn’t understand.”
“What did they make you feel, Sansa?”
“Uncomfortable. Wrong. Sick.” She shifted in her seat and pulled her hands out
from under her. She was rattled again or, rather, still.
He watched her long and hard. She was keeping something from him. He knew it.
Some parts of her had changed after the accident, but his Sansa was still in
there and he wasn’t so out of touch with her to know when she was deliberately
keeping something from him.
“What else?” he asked.
“What?”
“What else did you feel?”
She looked at him sharply. And nervously. “Isn’t that enough?”
“No, because you all but admitted you felt the emotions of your memories—”
“I never said that.”
“You’re right, you didn’t. If I remember correctly, you wouldn’t answer me when
I asked you if you did. And then you walked away. In the park when you had that
memory of us on the playground—”
“Oh, fuck the park!” she exclaimed. So she was hiding something.
Robb wasn’t about to let it go though, and her unwillingness to tell him – even
to attempt to lie to him – was telling. He just wanted her to admit it so they
could actually get somewhere. He stood. “Sansa. What. Did. You. Feel?”
She lifted her chin and looked at him defiantly. “Nothing.”
“Liar,” he started walking towards her and she got up and moved away from him.
He stopped pursuing her. “When you stopped talking to me and I asked you why,
you didn’t have an answer for me. And then I noticed you stopped talking to
Margaery. Why did you stop talking to your friend?”
“You’re like a dog with a bone,” she muttered.
“Answer the question, Sansa,” he demanded.
She glared at him. “You’re not the boss of me, Robb.”
He started walking slowly towards her again and she moved to the side just as
slow.
“I remember a time when we were together and you got very jealous of your
friend Roslin,” he began. “You thought I was flirting with her and I wasn’t.
While I was giving her car a jump and checking her fluids, the way I always
used to do for you, you just left. You didn’t say anything to either of us. You
just disappeared. You wouldn’t talk to me. I can only imagine that perhaps you
didn’t talk to Roslin either. I got it out of you that you’d been jealous.”
“So you think because I don’t talk to you and Margaery I’m automatically
jealous? How did my dreams making me uncomfortable lead you down that path?
Maybe I just didn’t want to talk to anyone.”
He shook his head, frustrated that she just wouldn’t admit it. “Because you
were having feelings with those dreams, Sansa.” He was aware that his
frustration was bleeding through in his tone, but he couldn’t stop it. No one
quite got under his skin the way Sansa could. She’d always been aggravatingly
stubborn. “You were having feelings for me. And Margaery was someone I was
being forced to date.”
She stopped moving and so did he. Her brow furrowed. “Wait. Forced?”
Robb sighed. “Mom thought we were getting a little too chummy. She strongly
urged me to date. Dad must have told her that Margaery flirted with me at work
so she suggested I go out with her. She thought I should try to find someone
for myself.”
“Unfuckingbelievable,” Sansa muttered.
“What?”
“You and Mom keeping all this from me. I mean I’m sure there’s no Hallmark card
for this kind of situation – ‘Glad you’re out of the coma, sorry for the memory
loss, allow me to fill you in on all the sexcapades you’ve been having with
your brother!’ Fucking hell!”
“Sansa, it’s not like there was an easy way to tell you something like that,”
he ground out.
“I understand that, but maybe it would have been better than having me remember
during Dad’s company picnic while I’m going for a walk in the woods with my
boyfriend! It’s a little disconcerting when you happen to look over at some
nice grassy knoll and have the memory of your brother going down on you on said
grassy knoll.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Oh. You’re sorry. I feel better!”
“We thought my going away would help.”
“How did you end up telling Mom?”
“She suspected before the accident—”
Sansa held up a finger. “Wait.” She pointed at Robb. “Tell me about Joffrey.
Where did he fit in?”
Robb sighed heavily and raked a hand through his hair.
Sansa had the urge to fix his curls –
“Robb, what’s going on?” she asked. She was worried. He looked strung out.
“She told me that she saw us last night watching TV when she got up to get a
drink in the kitchen,” Robb said and started to pace. “She said she noticed
something between us.”
“Oh no, not that!” Sansa faux gasped, trying to lighten his mood.
He stopped and looked at her sternly. This was Robb in serious mode. “Sansa,
she said that there was an intimacy between us that made her uncomfortable. She
said that it’s not the first time she’s noticed it and just chalked it up to us
being close, but after she saw how we were together she can’t ignore it
anymore.”
“Robb—”
“Sansa, she asked me point blank if there was something going on between us.
She couldn’t even get the words out…” He looked so sad by that.
Sansa went over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. “What did you tell
her?” she asked.
“I told her that I don’t know what she thought she saw but she was mistaken,”
he told her. “I told her I would never do anything like that with you and of
course you never would with me. I told her I couldn’t believe she would even
suggest that.”
“And?”
“I’m not sure she bought it. Sansa, I’m a little worried.”
She arched a brow. “A little?” She supposed it was the wrong thing to say, but
when Robb got like this he saw problems, not solutions. Sansa wanted to focus
on solutions.
“How can you not be?” he demanded. “If Mom and Dad find out about us they could
separate us, Sansa. They could make me go away. Do you want that?”
“Of course not,” she said and wound her arms around him tightly. Robb wrapped
his arms around her and held her just as tightly. She couldn’t fathom the
thought of being separated from Robb. It would be like losing a limb. It would
be like taking a piece of her soul. “I love you,” she said softly.
“We need to lay low,” he told her. “We need to keep our distance. We can’t give
her any reason to suspect.”
A plan began to form in Sansa’s mind. A way to get their mother off the scent…
“Sansa, are you listening to me?”
She pulled back and looked up at him. “I’ll get a boyfriend.”
He gaped at her. “What?”
“There’s a boy at school that asked me out a couple times—”
“How am I just hearing about this now?” he demanded.
She rolled her eyes. “Really, Robb? Now’s not the time—”
“Who is he?”
“His name is Joffrey. He’s some popular rich boy. He seems nice.” Actually,
Sansa thought he was a bit of a pompous ass but she didn’t need to make this a
long-term thing. She just needed to go out with him a few times. But, if Robb
knew she thought he was a jerk there was no way he’d let her go out with him.
She was pretty certain he was going to fight her on this as it was. “Look, I’ll
just go out with him a few times. No big deal. Mom will stop worrying—”
“Or maybe we should do nothing and go on as we have,” Robb said, and she could
hear the desperation in his voice. “If you all of a sudden get a boyfriend she
might think we’re actually guilty.”
“How about this – how about we do nothing for a while and then in a couple
weeks I’ll tell Joffrey I’ll go out with him. I’ll play it off like it’s no big
deal and I’m not really sure it’s what I want to do and Mom will do her Mom
thing where she talks to me about it, maybe even convinces me it’s a good idea,
and then that’s it. It’s done. After a couple dates I’ll stop seeing him. Ba da
bing, ba da boom, it’s done.”
“Why can’t I just go out with some girl? Jeyne at work flirts with me all the
time,” Robb said.
Nope. No way was she going to watch Robb go out with another girl. Over her
dead body. She was aware she had a bit of a jealous streak in her when it came
to Robb. She supposed it was the fact that they already had to sneak around so
much as it was, and couldn’t be open with their feelings. She was a bit
covetous of their time together as a result and didn’t like interlopers. Plus,
she was well aware of how hot he was.
“Nope, I’m going to go out with Joffrey. It’s decided,” Sansa said and turned
away from him and smiled coyly at him. “You don’t want me to boil any bunnies
in a fit of jealousy do you, Robb?”
“Sansa? Where did you go?”
Sansa blinked a few times. She’d been staring off, lost in the memory. She
looked at Robb. He was close now. Right in front of her close. Nearly in her
space close. He looked worried. “Did you just have a memory?” he asked.
“Yes. Mom thought something was going on and I offered to date Joffrey to get
her off the scent,” she replied.
Robb clenched his jaw. “Yes. I never should have let you go out with that
monster.”
“I didn’t want you to go out with another girl. I was too jealous even just
thinking about it.”
He looked at her knowingly. “You felt that.”
“Yes, I—”
Shit.
Sansa took a step back. Robb took a step forward. “Tell me what you were
feeling when you stopped talking to me and Margaery,” he said, his voice a low
rumble.
Sansa didn’t want to feel it like a caress over her body, but she did. She
backed away again and he followed. “Honestly? I thought you were a bit of slut
after Margaery told me she blew you on your first date,” she said bitingly. “I
thought you were better than that.”
Robb froze. “She…she told you that?”
“It slipped out.” Kind of like your dick, she thought.
“She shouldn’t have told you that,” Robb said irritably.
Sansa started to laugh. She couldn’t help it. She had officially lost her mind.
Robb looked at her as though he thought the same thing.
“Relatively speaking, I don’t think it matters,” she said, laughing. “Spoiler
alert – I’m not a virgin. I’m assuming I lost my virginity to you, right?”
He nodded, still looking so serious. “Yes.”
She couldn’t seem to stop laughing. It was bordering on hysteria. “So, does it
really matter if Margaery told me she sucked your dick? Based on the dreams I
had we probably could have been trading stories.”
“Sansa, stop,” he snapped.
“Oh, come on. I’ve spent the past couple days crying and thinking I’m sick. I
was looking into mental institutions.”
“Sansa—”
“So, I’m sorry if I happened to find some humor in a very fucked up situation.”
All traces of laughter was gone from her voice now. “If I don’t laugh I’ll cry.
Poor Jon doesn’t know what to do with me. And it’s not like I can tell him. I
can’t even look at Mom.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that! Is there anything else you can say, Robb?”
He startled her by taking her face in his hands. “I love you,” he said
hoarsely. “I still love you, Sansa. I never stopped.”
She put her hands around each of his wrists to stop him even as she felt
herself sway into him.
“Sansa,” he whispered. “You were feeling all those feeling again, weren’t you?”
He drew her face closer – or he moved his closer – Sansa wasn’t sure. All she
knew was she could feel his hot breath on her face and she liked it. She closed
her eyes and she started to breathe heavier.
“You do,” he whispered in awe. “You do feel it.”
He was going to kiss her and she couldn’t let that happen. Her eyes flew open
and she pushed away from him. “No. No, Robb, that’s not going to happen.”
She ran up the stairs before he could do anything to stop her.
***** Chapter 12 *****
Robb let her go. He wasn’t going to scare her by giving chase. Nor was he going
to do anything to put him and Sansa in jeopardy with their mother. He licked
his lips; he’d been so close he could almost taste her.
His heart thudded heard with anticipation and excitement as he began to pace.
He felt as though he had an excess of energy he needed to purge. Those feelings
for him had been stirred up. She’d had a very real, very physical reaction to
him when he’d touched her. He looked down at himself (specifically his crotch)
and chuckled. So had he.
Okay, so he couldn’t get ahead of himself too much now though. She was still in
the mindset that this was wrong and it couldn’t happen. She would fight it, and
that was to be expected. It sounded as though she had been fighting it since
she’d starting having dreams/memories. He had to expect that she would. Though
pre-accident Sansa had gone through her own bout of feeling as though something
was wrong with her having fallen for him, she had been more willing after
finding out how he felt.
Flashback
Robb wanted nothing more than to just lose himself in Sansa’s kiss. He couldn’t
even believe that this was happening. That all this time he’d not been alone in
feeling these things. Still though, he needed to know where she was at, what
she was thinking. This was not the sort of thing to take lightly.
He pushed at her gently and when she realized what he was doing, she broke the
kiss and buried her face in her hands. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have
– oh my God.” She dropped her hands and stood, face red and unable to look at
him. “Can we just go and forget this ever happened? I’m so mortified. I can’t
believe I did that. Let’s just go.” She started to walk away.
“Sansa, wait.”
She stopped and turned. “I know. You think I’m gross.”
“Not at all.”
“Oh come on, Robb. I just laid a big fat kiss on you. How can you not?”
“Did you meant to do it? Did you know what you were doing?”
“Wouldn’t my having done it meant that I knew what I was doing?” she asked.
“Why would I have kissed you otherwise?”
“Maybe you were thinking of someone else.”
She looked at him like he was crazy. “That makes no sense.”
He sighed. “I just. . . I want you to have been sure…”
Her brow furrowed. “Why?”
He looked her in the eye. “Because I love you, Sansa. I was sitting here
thinking how much I wanted to kiss you and then you did it.”
She gaped at him. “You…love me?”
He nodded.
“Like a…brother?”
“There is that, yes,’ he said and made his way over to her. He reached out and
touched the side of her face and he noticed how his hand shook. Was this a
dream? He felt like he’d had it so many times. “I love you as a boy loves a
girl, as a man loves a woman…I’m in love with you, Sansa. I have been for a
very long time now.”
God, he hoped he hadn’t admitted too much. His heart beat so hard he thought it
might erupt right out of his chest. He wondered if she could hear it.
Then she broke into a wide smile. “I love you, too, Robb.” And then she
practically leapt forward to kiss him again. Robb held her face in his hands as
he kissed her again and again and again. He couldn’t get enough, and he
couldn’t get her close enough to him.
“Do you mean it?” he muttered against her lips and then kissed her before she
could answer him.
“Yes,” she managed to answer before their lips were fused together again.
Robb thought he might split into a million pieces due to sheer euphoria. He
didn’t know that such a feeling existed. He continued to hold her face in his
hands as he just looked at her, studying every part of her beautiful face.
“I’ve loved you for so long,” he rasped. “I never thought I’d be here hearing
you tell me you love me back.”
She put her hands over his on her face. “I’ve felt this way for a long time,
too,” she said. “But I thought it was wrong and so I tried to fight it.”
“I understand,” he murmured, thinking of how he’d tried so hard to fight what
he felt as well. “I don’t want to fight it anymore, Sansa.”
“I don’t either,” she whispered.
End Flashback
Sansa then had been more willing, but Sansa then had grappled with her feelings
longer too. Plus, she’d been all of sixteen then and most sixteen-year-olds
thought they were invincible. They didn’t really think in terms of consequences
to their actions. She’d been impetuous then; she wasn’t so much anymore.
Robb figured the accident and resulting amnesia and injuries made this version
of her cautious. She didn’t seem as trusting, and seemed to like to stay to
herself…or with Jon. He supposed now Jon was her shield. Her shield against her
feelings (or so she thought) and her shield against him. She wondered though,
if she thought of Margaery that way as well. The fact that she had obviously
been jealous over Margaery going down on him made him think that perhaps Sansa
would be perfectly fine if he were to end things with Margaery.
Well, that made both of them. Margaery’s sexuality was too in-your-face and
obvious whereas Robb preferred Sansa’s sweet and subtle sexuality. It was
always the little things with Sansa that drove him wild – a heated glance, a
knowing smirk, when she’d stretch like a cat in front of him and he could do
nothing about it…Sansa liked to tease. But she was never overt about it. And
then there were times when she would just nestle right into him as if he was
her pillar of strength. He often thought it the other way around.
Sansa was home to him. Not the kind one found with one’s family, but the kind
one found in the partner they wanted to spend their life with. Without Sansa,
Robb felt as though he was missing a vital part of himself – like a piece of
his soul. He bled like an open wound without her. He wondered if some part of
her felt that. Was it wrong to hope that she did? Or would eventually if she
didn’t already?
Robb wanted her back so badly that his thoughts were muddled on how to make
that happen. He knew he had to give her space, but how much did he give her?
Could he crowd her a little? Did he act like nothing was between them or did he
attempt to draw her out? Did he attempt a subtle and slow seduction or did he
leave her be and let her come to him?
She would come to him…right?
He needed sleep. He had a class before work and he needed to be on top of his
game. Yet he knew he wouldn’t be able to get his body and his mind to shut down
for a long while. Not with the thoughts that spun around his mind, not with
Sansa upstairs probably just as restless as him. Maybe he’ll burn in hell for
not taking the out she was giving him. They could put their past to rest and
move on with their lives in the company of others like Jon and Margaery (he
made a face at that).
Maybe he will.
He just didn’t care.
xxxxxxxx
Sansa didn’t have dreams/memories that night. No, when she was finally able to
fall into sleep – fitful as it was – she dreamt instead of having allowed Robb
to kiss her. In her dream the kiss had erupted into something passionate and
desperate, as if they couldn’t get close enough. They’d gripped each other so
tightly Sansa swore she could feel his hands on her, biting into her skin, when
she awoke.
She dragged herself out of bed, going through the motions of preparing herself
for the day while her body protested every single move she made. She braced
herself for the possibility of seeing Robb on her way out the door and found
she was almost disappointed when she didn’t.
She scolded herself for such feelings on her way to school and when Jon met her
before one of their classes and kissed her, she was even more disappointed not
to feel the same heat in that kiss as she’d felt in her dream kiss with Robb.
She wanted to not go into the office that day. She wasn’t ready to see Robb so
soon – she needed time to think, to decompress, to sort it all out and put
everything in their place. Robb was her family, not her lover, so he belonged
in the box marked family. Jon was her boyfriend. He belonged in the box marked
boyfriend. There could not be and would not be any blurred lines. There would
be no leaping out of boxes to take the place of someone in another box.
She didn’t just waltz into the office as she usually did. No, she Natasha
Romanoved it and slipped in quietly, ears perked up, eyes scanning the
perimeter. She didn’t see Robb anywhere. Or Margaery. She passed by a couple
paralegals with a smile and made her way to her father’s office down the hall.
His door was half-open. She peered inside and her eyes darted around. The coast
was clear.
“If you’re looking for Dad, he had a meeting.”
Sansa jumped a mile at the sound of Robb’s voice behind her. She turned around
and glared at him.
“What?” he asked innocently.
“Nothing,” she muttered.
“Hmmm…” he took a step toward her and she had no choice but to step back into
her father’s office. Once they were inside fully, Robb shut the door and folded
his arms across his chest. “You look tired. Did you sleep well?”
“Did you?” she countered.
“Not at all.”
“So, I’ve been thinking…”
“I’m sure you have.” He sounded almost amused.
“We should just, you know, put a pin in all of it.”
“All of what precisely?
“Our past.”
“I see.”
The way he looked at her with such intensity caused her to fidget under his
gaze – she felt it like a caress. She averted her eyes, hating the way she
reacted to him so easily. From her dreams/memories, it had always been like
that.
“Maybe the accident was kind of like a second chance? A do-over if you will,”
she said.
“We had five years one month and one week worth of a do-over, Sansa. And yet
here we are again.”
“We’re not really anywhere, Robb. I just happen to now be in possession of a
few memories, that’s all. That’s really—” she jumped when he placed his hand on
her shoulder. Her skin felt tight. She felt the gooseflesh rise. “What are you
doing?”
“Proving a point. You were saying?” he asked. “That’s really…?”
Oh, so he wanted to play, did he? Well, fine. Sansa clenched her jaw and
steeled herself against his touch. “That’s really—” He now slid his hand down
her arm slowly. “All that’s there and all we—” Now he took her hand and placed
it on his chest. His heart was racing under her palm. She stared at her hand on
his chest. “…that’s there…”
“ ‘All we that’s there’? Exactly what does that mean?” he asked. He then
reached out and placed his hand over her heart. His eyes darkened. She ached
for him to cover her breast with his hand. “Your heart races, too.”
“I had a lot of coffee this morning.”
“Did you dream of me last night?”
“Yes.” Fuck. She hadn’t meant to admit that.
“A memory?”
She swallowed hard and lifted her chin. “No.”
His smile was slow, predatory. “Oh? What was it about? What were we doing?”
She was about to retort with something smart when they heard the door opening.
They leaped apart and Sansa’s felt like she was going to have a heart attack.
Robb easily schooled his features into one of nonchalance and Sansa figured
he’d had enough practice with that in the past. Like riding a bike for him, she
supposed, to pretend that nothing was going on.
Sansa didn’t remember much of that – certainly hadn’t practiced subterfuge on
that scale for a long time. When she saw her father walk in, eyes crinkling
into a smile as he saw his two eldest in his office, Sansa was once again
reminded why this path Robb seemed intent on putting them back on had to be put
to an end.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Notes
     So this chapter was born out of a prompt on the
     fridaynightdumpterdiving fanfic prompts and one-shots on Tumblr. The
     line was "I get sleep talking, but what I don't get is the princess
     dragon dream and why I was in it." I was having a bit of a block on
     what should happen in this chapter and that unblocked me. Odd at it
     is. LOL
Sansa woke with a start. Where was she? What day was it? Was there a dragon in
this room…?
“San? You okay?”
A light came on and Sansa realized that she was in Robb’s bedroom, in his bed,
and she had no idea how she got there. Her head was at the foot of the bed
while his was at the top. She stared at him. “What is even happening right
now?”
He sat up against his headboard. He wasn’t wearing a t-shirt. Sansa tried not
to stare at his chest. She had no business looking at his chest. She wanted to
tell him to put on a t-shirt for cripes sake. She didn’t like that she couldn’t
stop noticing these things lately. She also didn’t like that she oftentimes
couldn’t help herself from ogling him when he’d walk around shirtless. He was
her brother and therefore she should not be doing it.
He smiled gently at her. “You were sleepwalking,” he said. “You came in my room
and just grabbed a pillow and laid down at the foot of the bed the way we used
to do when we were kids.”
She blinked. “I did?”
“Yup. You seemed to fall back to sleep so I let you. Then you started talking.
Now, I understand the sleep talking thing, but what I don’t understand is the
princess dragon dream and how I’m part of it.”
Ah. The dream. Some of it was slipping away from her now, but she remembered a
tower, being trapped in said tower and Robb coming to rescue her and some bad
dragon that was trying to get to her before he did. She didn’t feel she could
tell him that though. It felt like maybe she would cross a few lines by telling
him he’d been her knight in shining armor in her dream and that she’d been in
love with him in it and him with her.
“It’s already gone,” she lied.
“I see.” He climbed off the bed, grabbed his pillow and placed it down next to
hers. Then he lay down beside her. “I had just shut out the light when I felt
the bed jerk. I figured you’d just woken yourself up.” He reached out and
brushed some hair from her face. Sansa tried not to lean into his touch. “You
okay?”
She yawned and nodded. “I’m okay. I don’t know what any of that was about.” She
rolled onto her back. “I should probably get up and go back to my room.”
“You can stay,” he said softly. “If you want.”
She turned her head to look at him. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “You looked a little spooked when you came in here the first time,
and then just now after you woke up. Maybe this is like those times when we
were kids and you’d ask me to chase the monsters in your closet away. Maybe you
need to stay in here so I can chase your nightmares away.”
The monsters in her head weren’t of the large and scaly clawed kind anymore.
No, the monsters in her head were of the ‘I think I’m in love with my brother’
kind. But, she couldn’t seem to stop herself from wanting to be near him.
She wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that her relationship
with Robb had never been combative like hers was with Arya. If she and Robb had
argued like cats and dogs would she be having all these feelings for him
otherwise? But if she did argue with him like she did Arya, then she might not
feel as whole as she did when she was with Robb.
“I’ll stay,” she said. He smiled at her, his blue eyes so gentle. Then he
sighed and started to get up. Sansa’s hand jutted out and she grabbed his arm.
He looked down at her hand and then at her. “Can you…stay…here?” she asked.
He nodded, looking solemn and like something else she couldn’t put a name to.
“Yes,” he said. “Let me just get the light.”
“Okay.”
She could barely make him out in the darkness when he lay back down next to her
but she felt his hand very near hers when he did lay down. She thought maybe
she should move hers…but then she didn’t.
Sansa came out of her memory and tapped her forehead repeatedly as she said, “I
am so sick of your shit.” Then she closed her eyes and continued to tap it
while singing, “Memories, like the corner of my mind…”
“What are you doing?”
Sansa’s eyes popped open with her fingers pressed to her forehead, and she
found Margaery and Robb standing in the doorway. Margaery was the one that had
spoken. Robb looked concerned.
“Were you just hitting yourself in the forehead while singing a song from
Cats?” Margaery asked.
“Yup.”
“Are you okay, Sansa?” Robb asked. “Feeling all right?”
“Peachy. With a side of keen.”
“You’re always so clever, Sansa,” Margaery said with a bit of a cackle as she
poured herself a coffee. “I wish I could be as clever as you.”
Robb sat down across from Sansa and looked at her quizzically. She ignored him.
“You know what we should do?” Margaery said as she put her coffee cup on the
table and then sat down. “We should go on a double date. Me and Robb and you
and Jon.”
Sansa’ eyes went wide. “That sounds like a phenomenal—”
“Right?”
“—ly bad idea,” Sansa finished.
Margaery pouted. It was not cute. “Why?”
“The last thing I want to do is go on a date with my big brother there, just
like I’m sure the last thing Robb wants to do is go on a date with his little
sister.” She looked at Robb and hoped he saw the ‘You-better-fucking-agree-
with-me’ look in her eyes. “Right, big brother?”
“Robb will do what I tell him to do,” Margaery said with a smirk.
Oh, no. She did not. “I’m sorry, but Robb is a grown man and you’re not the
boss of him. He’ll do whatever he wants and you’re not going to tell him what
he will or will not do. Ever.” Sansa snapped. Margaery’s jaw dropped. “Why
don’t we ask Robb what he wants to do?” Sansa said and looked at him. “Robb,
what would you like to do?”
His smile was wide as he looked at her, his eyes tender. “I want to go out with
you . . . and Jon.”
“Really?” Sansa deadpanned.
“I think I should get to know Jon better, don’t you?” Robb asked.
“Yeah. It keeps me up at night thinking of how little you know him.”
He laughed. “I thought it might. I mean, I know how important my opinion is to
you. Just as yours is to me.”
“So is it decided then?” Margaery asked. “Or did you want to bite my fucking
head off for something else?”
“Margaery,” Robb said and it sounded like a warning.
“What?” Margaery demanded defensively. “You were sitting right here when she
snapped at me, right? And for no reason? I was just teasing.”
No, you weren’t, Sansa thought. “You know what, I’m done here. I’m just going
to go home and take a bath with the toaster.”
“Sansa, don’t make jokes like that,” Robb scolded her.
She shrugged and walked out of the breakroom and made her way down to her
father’s office to grab her things. He was in another meeting. She shut the
door behind her and just sat for a minute to cool her temper. When Margaery
made Robb sound like some kind of dog she could just order about it had really
pissed her off. She didn’t like Margaery talking about him that way. He didn’t
deserve that. No matter what she and Robb were now or in the past, Sansa did
not want some girl ordering him about like that and treating him like he didn’t
matter.
She supposed it didn’t help that she was jealous of Margaery. She hated that
Margaery had blown him, hated that he was still dating her even if the only
reason he was doing it was so he could appease their mother, and she hated that
her memories were coming faster and faster now and stirring up all these
feelings for him.
The door opened and in walked Robb. He shut the door behind him and Sansa just
looked at him, trying to remain calm though she felt the monster inside her
begin to scratch and claw at her, wanting badly to be released.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “Did you have another memory?”
Sansa got to her feet. She was going to do something stupid. Something that was
the very opposite of what she’d been telling Robb they should do. Desperation
made one do crazy things though, right? It made you act out, do things out of
character, do things you know you shouldn’t do and maybe, just maybe, if she
just did it she would find that there was absofuckinglutely nothing there. That
all that heat and passion in her dreams and in her memories now meant nothing.
They were different people now. She knew she certainly was. So if she did the
crazy thing and discovered there was much ado about nothing then they could
both put it to bed. No pun intended.
Robb seemed to know what she was about seconds before she did it. His eyes
darkened and he took a step toward her, reached for her, and Sansa reached for
him and then their bodies collided. Their hands grasped frantically at one
another and their lips met in a kiss that Sansa was pretty sure could end all
kisses in the entire fucking world.
It was hot and passionate and didn’t do exactly what Sansa had hoped it would.
She’d hoped it would fall flat, that there would be nothing there. Instead, she
felt as though she was going to burst into flames. They didn’t just kiss each
other, they devoured each other. The whole world fell away and it was just
Robb. Robb in her arms. Robb’s lips on hers. Robb’s tongue touching her own.
Her feet left the ground as he lifted her and Sansa wrapped her legs around his
waist without having to think about it. Their lips didn’t part once as Robb
pushed her against the wall behind her and continued kissing her. They nipped
and sucked and licked at each other. Robb’s hands dug into her ass where he
held her and Sansa’s hands were in his silken locks. She throbbed with need
between her legs. He was hard against her.
They could have kissed for hours or seconds – Sansa just didn’t know how long,
all she knew was that she was nearing the point where she needed to take in
some air. It was just that she couldn’t bring herself to stop kissing him.
The voices outside their father’s office put an end to it. Robb let her go and
went to sit behind his father’s desk. Sansa, in flight mode, grabbed her stuff
and left the building. She felt as though she was outside her body. There was a
roaring in her eyes. She couldn’t think. She could only feel.
When she got to her car she didn’t even remember walking to it. All she could
see and feel was Robb. She stared out her windshield, hands on the wheel, and
thought - I just made a huge mistake.
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Notes
     So...are you guys still with me or...?
It was sheer force of will that kept Robb from going after Sansa to continue
what she’d started. Well, first it was the fear that whoever was outside their
father’s office was on their way inside, but then when no one came in, Robb
just wanted to go after her.
As soon as he’d seen that look she would get on her face when she was about to
kiss him or initiate a seduction (not that Sansa ever had to do much seducing),
Robb hadn’t been able to stop himself from reaching for her. Kissing her and
holding her again had been heaven. He’d missed her so much, wanted her so
badly, and loved her so greatly, that he could scarce contain himself at the
moment. He certainly couldn’t concentrate at work. He felt like a live wire.
His whole body ached for her. And now she was nowhere near him where he could
go find her and kiss her again. Claim her. Make her his again. He just wanted
to wind himself around her and never let go.
He suffered through the next couple hours and knew he hadn’t gotten much done.
Today was not a productive day at work for Robb. He didn’t care. He just wanted
to get home and…
And nothing. He could do absolutely nothing with the family around. They were
surrounded, and he could not and would not take any chances of them being found
out again. If there was even anything to find out…
Okay, so Sansa had kissed him, but that didn’t mean she was ready to pick up
where they’d left off. Everything was still up in the air. What he needed to do
was wait for her. Let her lead. Hopefully, she didn’t make him wait too long.
xxxxxxx
Sansa hid in her room that night. She sat on her bed, her laptop on her lap and
a document open to work on a paper and yet she hadn’t written a word. All she
could think about was Robb and that kiss they’d shared.
It had terrified her. The intensity, the passion, the heat – all of it. Her
entire body had come alive, her senses had been on overload. She had never felt
such wanting, such desire – not that she remembered anyway. It was scary.
And she wanted to do it again.
It was all she could think about.
She pushed her laptop off her lap and went downstairs to get a drink. That’s
what she told herself anyway. When she got to the kitchen, she found Robb at
the sink pouring a glass of water and Arya at the kitchen table. Her sister’s
back was to them.
Robb turned his head and looked at her and his expression suffused immediately
with desire. Sansa felt a throb begin between her legs. Throb…Robb. Ha, she
thought.
She wanted to run and stay at the same time. Wanted them to find a place to be
alone and wanted to have everyone around them so that could never happen. She
was about to run back up the stairs when Arya looked over at her and arched a
brow. “What the hell are you doing just standing there?” she asked.
Sansa didn’t answer her. She moved further into the kitchen and went to the
fridge, making sure not to look at Robb. She felt his eyes on her though and
her hands shook. She grabbed an apple from the crisper and finally looked at
him. His eyes dropped to her lips and she inwardly moaned. She passed by him on
legs that felt like jelly and went back to her room.
Long after everyone in the house had gone to bed, Sansa lay there knowing that
Robb was awake. She knew he was waiting for her and she didn’t know what to do
about it. What she wanted to do and what she knew she should do were at war
within her.
She was so frustrated she wanted to cry. She never should have kissed him.
Never should have opened that box, door, whatever the fuck it was.
Damn their past. Damn that accident. Damn her memories. Damn him for coming
home. Just damn everything!
Sansa imagined herself getting up out of the bed, opening her door, going down
stairs to the kitchen, then down to the basement into Robb’s room. She imagined
having him take her in his arms, kiss her, carry her to bed and sate this ache
between her thighs. She knew now she’d had sex before but she didn’t really
remember it. Was it like riding a bike? Would it come back to her?
Jesus Christ, what the fuck am I thinking? Have I forgotten that he’s my
brother? Have I forgotten how messy this is and how I can’t do it because he’s
my brother? What the fuck am I thinking?!
She wasn’t. She wasn’t thinking at all. She was just feeling. Feeling how she
wanted him and couldn’t stop thinking about it and wanting it. Maybe if they
just did it once…
Yeah, and that’s what I said about the kissing.
Sansa was pretty sure that by the time she finally did fall asleep, Robb had
too.
xxxxxx
Robb was ready to say ‘fuck it’ when it came to waiting for Sansa to make a
move. He’d waited up for her for God knew how long the night before, hoping she
would come to him. He had been almost certain she would judging by the way
she’d looked at him when they’d run into each other in the kitchen.
He’d paced. He’d ran up the stairs and stood in the doorway to the basement
convincing himself he could manage to get up to her room without anyone hearing
him. Once he’d ran up thinking he heard her and found Bran getting a snack.
She didn’t come to work that afternoon and by the time he made it home, she
wasn’t there. Over the course of conversation he found out she’d gone to some
lecture with Jon at school, and from there planned to go to the library.
Well.
Robb supposed a trip to the library was in order.
He knew he should wait for her, but he had been waiting for her for five
fucking years. He couldn’t do it anymore. He loved Sansa. He wanted Sansa. And
he was going to get Sansa.
He told his family he was going out to run a few errands and no one batted an
eye. Catelyn, it seemed, had been lulled into a false sense of security. That
security had names: Jon Snow and Margaery Tyrell. She sang Jon praises, which
often made Robb want to scream, but fine. He was pretty sure that Sansa could
have brought home Ted Bundy, but as long as it wasn’t Robb, she would have been
thrilled.
Now here he was, heading into the public library in search of his sister. He’d
figure out what to do after he saw her. He felt a little crazed as he circled
the library in search of her. It rather reminded him of the old days when they
had to sneak around and be inventive about how they could be together. The
desperation then was different from now though. Then, he’d known she was his.
Now he didn’t know where the fuck he stood with her.
He rounded the stacks on the second floor and stopped abruptly. She was with
Jon.
Fuck.
Robb left before either of them could see him. He nearly punched the window of
his car but figured a broken hand would not be at all helpful.
xxxxxxxxx
Sansa wondered later if she knew what was going to happen when Jon asked her if
she wanted to go back to his dorm room and watch a movie. They’d hung out and
watched movies plenty of times with nothing sexual happening at all. But then
they also hadn’t been dating. Certain things were expected to happen when you
dated someone.
Jon had asked her if she was sure. Of course she thought of Robb. And in doing
so she had sealed her fate. And Jon’s.
It had been…nice. Jon had made sure she’d had an orgasm – he’d gone down on her
afterwards to ensure that, and that was quite considerate of him.
“Will you stay tonight?” he asked hopefully as he wrapped her up in his arms
and held her close.
It was midnight now and she was tired. But, she didn’t want to stay. She wasn’t
sure if it was Jon’s arms that felt too tight around her, if his room was just
too stuffy, or if it was the disappointment settling in that having sex with
Jon had done nothing to drive Robb from her thoughts and her…yeah.
“No, I should get home,” she said. “I don’t really want to do the walk of shame
in the morning back to my car.”
“I could lend you a shirt.”
She laughed and pushed out of his arms. She sat up and reached for her bra and
her shirt on the floor. Jon slid a hand down her bare back. “Sansa, don’t go,”
he said softly.
“Next time. I’ll even bring a change of clothes.”
He sighed. “Are you sure it was all right for you?”
After she finished fastening her bra she looked over at him. “Are you being
insecure?”
He looked hurt. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry, I just – Jon, it’s not that. It’s just that I don’t sleep well in
any bed but my own.”
“Then perhaps I should be the one spending the night at your place next time.”
She smiled while all the while thinking that would never happen. Her father
would never stand for it and Robb…
She slipped her shirt on and then got up and quickly put on her panties and
jeans. Jon got up in the meantime and slipped on his jeans. He pulled her to
him and kissed her. “I’m falling in love with you, Sansa,” he whispered. Her
eyes went wide and she just stared at him, at a complete loss for words. “I
just wanted you to know.”
She kissed him. It was her way of apologizing.
xxxxxxx
Sansa let herself in the house as quietly as possible and was on her way to the
stairs when she heard the door to the basement open.
Robb stood there and rubbed his eyes. He looked at her in confusion. “Did you
just get home?”
“Uh…yeah.”
He looked more awake now. “You just got home now?”
“Yeah, just now. So I’m going—”
“What the hell have you been doing until almost one o’ clock in the morning?”
he demanded.
She bristled at that. “None of your business,” she snapped.
He pointed at her. “No, you don’t get to say that to me. You don’t get to
pretend that I don’t have a right to know what—”
“You don’t have the right. You’re not my keeper. You’re not…”
He took a step toward her. “Your lover?”
“You’re not that,” she said and lifted her chin.
He came closer and stopped right in front of her. “You kissed me like you
were,” he whispered.
“That was…a mistake.”
He arched a brow. “Was it now?”
She nodded. “Yes. And it won’t happen again.”
He leaned in closer and then stopped. “You smell like another man.”
“That other man would be my boyfriend.”
“Did you sleep with him?”
“I told you that’s none of your business.”
He gripped her arms. “Did you sleep with him?” he hissed.
“I’m not going to answer—”
He walked her back to the wall and pushed her against it. “You did, didn’t you?
You had sex with him.”
“Robb, don’t—”
He kissed her and a sound left Sansa that sounded somewhere between a moan and
a cry. She clutched at him he clutched at her, pulled her against him as though
he was trying to push inside her skin.
“Sansa,” he gasped. “Sansa.”
Her hands gripped his curls, needing him even closer. “Robb,” she whimpered.
And then he was pulling away. Sansa just stared at him wide-eyed and full of
need.
His jaw was clenched tight. “Did you cling to him the way you just clung to me?
Did you kiss him the way you just kissed me? Did you want him as much as I know
you want me right now?”
She didn’t answer him, but then even if she’d planned to it didn’t matter. Robb
walked away from her before she could even open her mouth.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you so much for the love in the last chapter. I like hearing
     all your thoughts and reflections on the story. It gives me food for
     thought, plus it's just fun. :)
     Also, I saw this on Tumblr today on a blog dedicated to Sophie
     Turner. The blog is: http://sophiestunner.tumblr.com/
     Anyway, I thought I would share. I like visuals ;)
      

     [ photo robb x sansa_zpst7teodwg.png]
Robb couldn’t even look at Sansa. For the next few days he was the one doing
the avoiding for once. Every time he thought of Jon with his hands on Sansa he
wanted to find Jon and punch him in the face. When he thought of Sansa letting
Jon touch her so intimately, letting him inside her...
Robb had been her first and her only. Sure he’d had girls before her in his
attempt to…
Okay. He got it. She wasn’t on the same page as him. Having sex with Jon was an
attempt for her to see if there could be something with someone else. He would
have thought that after all this time with Jon she would have figured out that
there wasn’t much of anything, but Sansa had always been incredibly stubborn.
She wasn’t there with him yet. She was just discovering her feelings as her
memories came. She needed time. He had to be patient.
These were the things he told himself like a mantra running over and over in
his mind. But when he saw Sansa, he saw someone else’s hands on her the way he
used to touch her and his gut would twist all over again.
How could she kiss him like that and then have sex with someone else?
Because you’re her brother.
He’d never wanted to be adopted more.
He couldn’t bring himself to touch Margaery, and he was rather impressed with
himself that he’d managed to keep from having to sleep with her. She initiated
any kisses between them and he didn’t get carried away with them. He felt
nothing for her so how could he? He certainly didn’t kiss her the way he’d
kissed Sansa. He did the minimal to keep up appearances. Margaery just thought
he was shy. Robb let her think what she wanted.
Currently, she was onto planning that double date with Sansa and Jon. Robb told
her he didn’t want to do it anymore, but Margaery was like a dog with a bone.
He figured if Sansa shut her down again with it, she would stop.
But then one afternoon when Jon showed up at work to drop off some books Sansa
had left in his car, Margaery cornered him and he seemed to think it was a good
idea. That struck Robb as odd. Jon was the quiet sort; he didn’t seem like the
type to want to do something like that.
Robb kept his distance from Jon because he was pretty certain if Jon came near
him, he was going to make good on his urge to punch him. Jon left, Margaery
went upstairs, and Sansa marched into their father’s office and shut the door
behind her. Robb looked up from their father’s desk and kept his face in a
neutral mask. He didn’t say anything. If Sansa wanted something from him she
was going to have to be very clear what it was.
“Tell her you don’t want to do this,” she said.
“Do what?” he asked, intentionally playing stupid.
She rolled her eyes. “This stupid double date idea. Just tell her you don’t
want to.”
“I did. But then your boy came around and agreed to it.”
She arched a brow and the corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk. “My boy?”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Do you know the reason why he agreed,
Robb? Because he thinks you hate him and he wants to spend time with you in the
hopes that you’ll end up liking him.”
Robb sat back. “Well, he’s right. I do hate him. And no amount of time I spend
with him is going to change that.”
“He’s a good person, Robb.”
“And he’s fucking the woman I love.”
“And Margaery gave you a blow job,” she retorted.
“So you can relate then because I’m the man you love.”
“I never said that.”
“But it bothers you that she sucked me off.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “I find it a bit unfair that you can let
her do that and I’m supposed to be okay with it—”
“I never said that.”
“—but I can’t sleep with Jon.”
Robb rubbed a hand down his face in frustration. “We’re talking in circles. You
don’t want to admit that you have any feelings for me, and then in the next
breath you’re all but admitting you do by the sheer fact that you’re jealous of
Margaery. We’re never going to get anywhere if you can’t just be honest with
yourself and honest with me.”
“There’s nowhere to get, Robb. It doesn’t matter if I’m honest with my
feelings, it doesn’t matter what I want or what you want – none of that
matters. What matters are the cold hard facts: you are my brother, I am your
sister and it can’t happen…again.”
“I beg to differ.”
“I can walk out of this office and plant a big ol’ kiss on Jon and no one would
bat an eyelash. I can’t do that with you, Robb. I can’t hold your hand – shit,
I can’t even go down to your room and see you in our own home because Mom knows
and would think something is going on! And if Dad found out? He’d flip his
shit. Can you imagine the looks of disgust? Arya would no doubt blame me, Bran
might blame you, Rickon wouldn’t know what to do with either of us…Jon wouldn’t
want to have anything to do with me. I can’t even imagine how he would feel
knowing…” She shook her head. “Have you thought about any of this?”
“Yes, I have. This was something we’d been over many times before.”
She threw up her hands in exasperation. “Oh, well, I’m so sorry then that I’m
just repeating old conversations and worries from before that I don’t
remember,” she said sarcastically.
Robb sighed. “Sansa, I wasn’t implying—”
“Yes, you were. You were implying that because we’ve already been down that
road before it’s not a big deal to you now and therefore any of my concerns are
just silly. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, right? I’m so sorry that my
memory loss is such an inconvenience to you now. I’m sorry that we got into an
accident because the last time we were together I was apparently so desperate
to protect us that I dated some asshole.”
In the middle of her rant, Robb had gotten up and came over to her. He stood in
front of her now and brushed the tears that fell from her eyes away.
“Sweetheart, calm down,” he murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel
like your concerns don’t matter. They do. I’m just – I’m terrified right now,
Sansa.” He cupped her face in his hands and drew her closer to him. “I love you
so much, sweetheart. Being apart from you is tearing me apart…” He kissed her
then and she let him. She let him because it was what she wanted and she didn’t
know how to make it stop. As soon as he touched her she saw nothing but Robb
and felt nothing else but Robb. It was downright scary. And it was also not
helpful.
Sansa pushed away from him and walked to the other side of the room. He clouded
her thoughts too easily. The last time she got lost in him they ended up
wrapped around a tree. Not to mention the fact that he was her brother and it
was wrong.
“We had plans, you and I,” he said softly. “Have you remembered them?”
She looked at him and shook her head. “No. What plans did we have?”
“We planned to go away. Before the accident we had both applied to school in
California. We were going to attend So Cal together and live together while we
were there. Behind closed doors, you and I would have been free to be
together.”
“And then?”
“And then we were going to go overseas, somewhere in Europe, and live together
there, too. I had even thought I would change my name so that no one would know
we were related. Our plan was to be together there the way we couldn’t here.”
“And our family?”
“They didn’t need to know.”
She furrowed her brow. “Wouldn’t they wonder?”
“A brother and a sister being in love and living as lovers would have been the
last thing they would have thought.”
She frowned. “They might have still thought it unnatural that we would choose
to move so far away together. And if neither of us dated…”
“It’s easy enough to pretend and make up a story or two.”
“Ah, I see. Stories and lies and subterfuge.”
“You’re overthinking it.”
“I think you’re underthinking it,” she countered.
“To be with you, Sansa, I would do what I had to do. You are the other half of
my soul and my heart. Without you I am incomplete.”
“Maybe you just need to try with Margaery—”
He barked out a laugh that was decidedly bitter. “No. I don’t want to do
anything with Margaery. She is merely a beard. Her presence in my life keeps
Mom from suspecting.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I let her suck me off because it had been a long time and being
around you again was hard. Especially with you not remembering us...I thought
of you the entire time.”
“I really didn’t need to know that.”
“Sorry, but it’s true. Sansa, I’ve tried. When I was in California, I dated, I
fucked women – I tried. I tried before you, too.”
She cocked her head to the side. “You did?”
“Yes. I dated a lot and slept around hoping that someone would fill that void
that only you could fill. It didn’t work. I tried and I tried and I tried, and
I just can’t do it anymore, Sansa.”
“Did I? Try that is?”
“No. There was some idiot your freshman year of high school that you kissed at
a dance.”
“An idiot, huh?” she said in amusement.
He looked sheepish and rubbed the back of his neck. “I told him if I saw his
hands within an inch of your ass I would beat the shit out of him.”
“So, you were reasonable about it,” she deadpanned, and then laughed.
Robb laughed with her. “Of course.” He came over to her and she straightened,
holding herself ramrod straight as though steeling herself for his touch.
“Do you love me, Sansa? The way a woman loves a man?”
“I don’t…I don’t know. I have these memories and I feel what I felt and it’s
colliding with now, here, with you…”
“Do you want me?”
“Robb, don’t.”
“Do you?”
“You know I do,” she whispered.
“We can sort the rest out.”
“Sort the rest out? You make it sound like I’m borrowing money or we’re
planning a road trip. Robb, we’re talking about incest. We’re talking about
changing our entire lives, the lives of our family and friends—”
He kissed her again. Hungrily and with urgency. Sansa responded in kind. She
was powerless to do anything else. When Robb made the call, she was helpless to
do anything but answer. She was aware that she was technically cheating on Jon.
It was an odd sort of feeling probably because it was an odd situation, but she
almost felt as though Jon was the one on the outside. He was the one she was
dating, but it was more that she was trying to get past Robb with him. Her
desperation to stop her feelings for Robb had pushed her into Jon’s arms, but
she didn’t…fit in his arms. But she wanted to. So badly.
Yet here she was, kissing Robb again.
“If you tell me to go away – if it’s what you want and you’re absolutely
certain,” Robb rasped against her lips, “I will go. I love you, Sansa, and as
much as I want to be with you, I will not stand in your way if you think you
can be happy with Jon.”
“No, don’t – don’t leave me,” she said desperately, fiercely. She wrapped her
arms around him tightly and squeezed her eyes shut. Just the thought of it
ripped her heart open. “Don’t go, Robb.”
“Then, my love, you have a choice to make.”
Voices outside the door split them apart again and it was moments like this
that drove the fact home that she and Robb were impossible. But the ache in her
heart and the need in her body were not in agreement.
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Notes
     I saw this pic of Richard Madden and wanted Robb to wear it for the
     date: [ photo richard madden sdcc_zps0bwlpvwy.jpg]
     And this is the outfit I saw for Sansa:
      [ photo winter-date-outfit-ideas-for-valentine-day-
     2015_zpswr0qdsqw.jpg]
Friday night.
Or, as Margaery had started calling it, Double Date Night.
Still, it was a night that both Robb and Sansa were dreading. Robb wasn’t sure
how he was going to watch Sansa and Jon together. It made his top lip pull back
in a sneer just thinking about it. And, he was pretty sure Sansa was harboring
the same problem in regards to him and Margaery.
However, despite the night they were being forced to endure, a boon had been
granted: Ned had announced that afternoon to Robb and Sansa that he was
surprising their mother with a trip away for the weekend to celebrate their
anniversary a couple weeks early.
Robb felt as though a two ton weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Despite the fact that Catelyn had backed off considering she thought Robb was
oh so devoted to Margaery and Sansa was oh so devoted to Jon and still without
her memories, Robb still felt the weight of her gaze any time he and Sansa were
even so much as in the same room at the same time.
It would be a lot easier to navigate some alone time between him and Sansa
without their mother around. Robb just hoped Sansa would be amenable to that.
They hadn’t interacted much since that day in the office when she’d begged him
not to leave her.
Sansa needed time. When she was ready to come to him, she would. Robb was
certain of it. Even if it was just to talk. He had hope and he was going to
cling to that with every fiber of his being.
So, that night while he was getting ready for the double date, he dressed with
Sansa in mind. He wore black jeans, a white scooped neck t-shirt with a print
on it, a black suit jacket, and black shoes.
He had just put on some cologne when Catelyn came through his open door. “Oh,
Robb. You look so handsome.”
Robb grinned. “Think Margaery will approve?” And by Margaery I mean Sansa.
“I do.” Catelyn came over and adjusted his collar the way she used to do when
he was a boy. When she was done she looked at him and said, “I’m quite happy
that you’re dating Margaery. You both seem very happy together.”
Either I’m a damn good actor or you’re seeing what you want to see, Robb
thought. Either way it worked to his benefit and he was fine with that. “We
are.”
“I still worry.”
Robb sighed. “Mother—”
“I can’t help it. I know that you are with Margaery and that Sansa seems quite
happy with Jon, but with your father and I go away this weekend…”
“Mother, nothing is going to happen,” Robb said and placed his hands on her
shoulders. “Sansa and I don’t have anything between us. She barely knows me.
She is consumed with Jon, and I am the furthest thing from her mind. The only
reason we are going out tonight together was because Margaery thought it would
be a great idea.”
“You can’t blame me for worrying still. After what you two were doing…”
“And she still has no idea about any of it.”
Catelyn nodded. “Okay.”
“Hey.”
Sansa stood in the doorway. Robb tried to react to how beautiful she looked.
She wore dark jeans that Robb thought might have been painted on, a silver top
that hinted at cleavage, and a fitted jacket over it. She walked further in the
room and Robb noticed that the silver top rode up a bit causing some of her
flat belly to show. He wanted to put his hand on that patch of skin so badly
his palms ached.
“Wow, big brother, don’t you clean up nice?” she teased.
Her makeup was smoky and her lips red and Robb just wanted to fucking kiss her.
“I try,” he said smoothly. “Jon here?”
“He is. You ready or do you need some more time to primp?”
He shot her a look. “Very funny.”
She grinned and kissed their Mother on the cheek. “I’m going to go up and save
Jon from Dad and Bran. See you when you come back, Mom.”
Catelyn smiled and hugged her. “Have a good time tonight, honey.”
“Oh sure. I get to go out with my boyfriend with my brother tagging along,”
Sansa said with a roll of her eyes.
“Hey, I’m in the same boat, just the other way around,” he told her.
She smiled at their mother, winked, and was off.
“I’d better go,” Robb told his mother once Sansa was out of earshot. “Listen,
don’t worry about anything. There will be no raging parties, and there will be
nothing going on between Sansa and I, okay?”
Catelyn nodded, smiled, and hugged him again before they went up the stairs.
xxxxxxxxxx
Sansa had insisted on sitting in the backseat with Jon on their way to pick up
Margaery. Robb found the trip a test of his patience. Even Jon holding Sansa’s
hand in the backseat was too much for Robb.
Meanwhile Jon kept trying to engage Robb in conversation. He asked if Robb
liked football, what TV shows he watched, if he liked to read, and what classes
he was taking. Robb had to hand it to him for trying. Under other circumstances
he would probably like Jon very much.
And then there was Margaery. She was…Margaery, but more “on” than usual. She
dominated the conversation from the second she got in the car, telling them all
some story about what happened when she went to get her nails done after work.
Everything with her was a drama. Robb found it exhausting.
He only half listened. His mind was already at the end of the night when
Margaery was home and Jon was gone and it was just him and Sansa alone. Sure,
Rickon, Bran, and Arya were around, but they wouldn’t think anything of Robb
and Sansa hanging out together in Robb’s room.
Robb realized he was probably get a bit ahead of himself.
They finally got the Hibachi restaurant they’d all agreed on going to and Robb
had to remember to stay with Margaery. She was his date, not Sansa. When he saw
Jon take Sansa’s hand as they headed into the restrauant, Robb felt the
frustration of not being able to do those things with her.
By some stroke of luck, and not by Robb’s design at all, he and Sansa ended up
sitting next to each other in the middle with Jon on Sansa’s other side and
Margaery on Robb’s other side.
Their knees touched under the table – again, not by design, but because they
were a bit packed in. Maybe the night won’t be so bad after all, he thought.
“What’s good here?” Robb asked Sansa.
“I’ll tell you,” Margaery said and leaned over, making sure that her cleavage
was on display for him over his arm.
Robb listened to Margaery’s suggestions and when she sat back, he turned his
head toward Sansa and found her engaged in conversation with Jon, her head
turned his way. The cascade of red hair was right there in front of him and
Robb just wanted to reach out and run his fingers through it.
The waitress came over then to take their drink orders and Sansa surprised Robb
by ordering a Scorpion Bowl for one. Jon ordered a beer, and Robb a water.
“Ooh, can we get a Scorpion Bowl, baby?” Margaery asked Robb and slung her arm
through Robb’s at the table. “Pwetty pwease?”
“I’m driving,” he reminded her. “So no.”
“Fine, then I’m going to get one. If Sansa is going to get shit-faced, then I
am too.” She leaned across Robb and he leaned back a little to give her room.
“Hey, Sansa,” she said loudly.
Sansa turned and looked at her. “Yeah?”
“Why don’t we match each other on drinks?”
Sansa shrugged. “Whatever.”
“I am going drink you under the table, Little Miss Priss,” Margaery announced.
Sansa ignored her and shrugged off her jacket. Robb’s mouth went dry. Her
silver top was sleeveless. So much skin right there to run his hand along…
Sansa leaned to the side and bent her head his way. Robb leaned into her so he
could hear her. “You don’t mind that I’m getting a Scorpion Bowl, do you?” she
asked him.
He inhaled her sweet scent and held back a groan. “Not at all.”
She smiled and then angled her body slightly towards Jon.
Their knees no longer touched.
More people came to share the table with them and Margaery was sure to capture
the attention of everyone else in attendance while hanging onto Robb. They
ordered their food and the soup came, followed in quick succession by the
salad.
The food was good so far, but everything else went to shit. Robb just wanted
this night to end. Margaery was proving more obnoxious than usual and he barely
got a chance to talk to Sansa.
Meanwhile, Sansa had finished one Scorpion Bowl and was working her way through
another – which meant that Margaery ordered another, too.
And then Margaery’s hand dropped to Robb’s lap and went right for his dick. He
jumped and tried discreetly to dislodge her hand from his crotch while she
laughed and cooed dirty things in his ear.
“Margaery, stop it,” he muttered angrily. “Get your fucking hand off me.”
“Oh, come on, baby. Loosen up and have some fun…”
A cherry went sailing past Robb’s face and bopped Margaery in the forehead. He
heard Sansa giggle beside him.
Margaery growled and took her away from Robb’s crotch. “What the fuck, Sansa?”
Sansa looked at her, the picture of innocence. “What?”
Robb bit back a smile. And then Margaery fished into her Scorpion Bowl and got
out a cherry. Robb grabbed it from her and popped it in his mouth.
Margaery narrowed her eyes at him and then grabbed his face and kissed him.
Robb reared back and pushed her off him as delicately as he could.
Some frat boy on the other side of the table shouted jovially, “Get a room!”
Robb ignored him and tried to reason with an inebriated Margaery that there was
a time and a place for everything and grabbing his crotch and starting a food
fight in the middle of a restaurant was not the time nor the place.
“She started it,” Margaery said and stabbed her finger in Sansa’s direction.
“I’m ending it,” Robb told her sternly. He looked over at Sansa. “Behave,
Sansa.”
Sansa glared at him. “You’re not the boss of me,” she slurred. She attempted to
stand and both Jon and Robb reached for her before she toppled over. She batted
their hands away. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” she said. “Relax.”
Jon went with her to make sure she didn’t get lost or fall on her face, despite
Sansa’s protestations that she was fine.
“Why don’t you love me?” Margaery demanded.
Robb blinked at her. “What?”
“You won’t even fuck me,” she now whined. “Why won’t you fuck me?”
“Margaery, not now,” Robb said through clenched teeth. People were looking and
there were even a few kids around.
Thankfully, the chef coming out to prepare the food diverted her attention.
Robb ordered a beer. He could have at least a beer. He deserved a beer.
Sansa and Jon came back and thankfully the rest of the meal went quietly.
Peacefully.
But then Margaery ordered a Pina Colada and Sansa ordered a water.
“Hey,” Margaery practically shouted to Sansa. “You were supposed to order a
Pina Coloda like me.”
“I don’t want one,” Sansa said with a shrug.
“Whatsa matter? Can’t handle your liquor?” Margaery slurred.
Sansa turned her back on both Robb and Margaery and Margaery did not like that.
She flung a piece of zucchini at Sansa before Robb could stop her. When Sansa
turned around, glaring, Robb said it was him and it an accident.
“Don’t cover for me!” Margaery growled.
“All right, I think we’re done here,” he muttered and motioned for the waitress
to bring the check.
“Jon wants to help pay,” Sansa told him.
“I got it,” Robb muttered.
“Robb—”
“I got it, Sansa,” Robb snapped.
“Yikes,” she muttered and turned her back on him.
Robb sighed and rubbed his forehead. He had a headache.
This had gone about as well as he’d expected. No, that wasn’t true. It was
worse. Much worse. Sansa ignored him, Margaery was acting like an angry and
inappropriate drunken ass – he just wanted to get the fuck out of there.
Once they’d paid and gotten outside, Robb thought this would be the end of it.
Sansa was leaning on Jon for support and saying she wanted to go home.
“We are going home,” Robb said aloud.
“I don’t wanna go home!” Margaery exclaimed. “Why do we have to do what Sansa
wants to do? If she wants to go home, fine, let her. She’s been a bitch all
night anyway.”
“Margaery,” Robb said warningly.
Sansa pushed away form Jon and turned to face Margaery. “I’ve been a bitch?
You’ve been a fucking cow the whole goddamn night. You haven’t shut the fuck up
since we got you. You’ve hung off my brother like a cheap whore, you fucking
groped him in public, and you’ve been incredibly inappropriate. Don’t tell me
that I’ve been the bitch all night. That was all you, honey.”
Margarey lunged after her and Robb went to grab her to stop her while Jon moved
to grab Sansa. They were both too late. Margaery smacked Sansa across the face.
Jon grabbed Sansa and pulled her away before she could retaliate and by the
fire in her eyes, she wanted to do just that. Robb grabbed Margaery’s arm and
pulled her to the car. He opened the passenger side door and ordered her to get
inside. Margaery whimpered at looked at him as though she wanted his sympathy –
as though she just hadn’t hit Sansa across the face.
“Jon, take me home,” Sansa said.
“Sansa, honey,” Jon began calmly, “Why don’t we get in the car—”
Sansa cut Jon off. “I don’t want to get in the car. Call a cab. No, wait. I’ll
call cab.” She started to dig in her purse for her phone.
“Sansa, get in the car,” Robb said furiously. “Just get in the goddamn car.”
By some stroke of luck, she listened.
The ride to the Stark’s was quiet. Robb dropped Jon and Sansa off and then made
the long trek to Margaery’s. He was going to walk her inside, get her tucked
into bed, and then he was going home and hoping that by some small miracle,
Sansa was still there and Jon was not.
xxxxxxxxx
An hour and a half later, Robb let himself in the house. There was a note from
Arya, Bran, and Rickon on the table. They were all gone for the night.
Perfect. He just hoped Sansa was home.
He kicked off his shoes in the kitchen, pulled off his jacket and threw it over
a chair. He went into the living room – she wasn’t there. Then he ran up to her
bedroom. His heart dropped. She wasn’t there either.
Disappointed and pissed off at how horrible the night went, at how long it took
him to get Margaery to fucking go to sleep instead of trying to initiate sex,
and at Jon for taking Sansa to his dorm, Robb pounded down the stairs and
shoved his door open.
And there she was. His sweet girl was sitting on his bed in light blue pajama
bottoms and a white tank top with a bowl of chips in her lap and his remote
control for the TV in her hand.
Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her face was scrubbed clean. She
looked over at him. “Hey, The Avengers is on. Watch it with me?”
***** Chapter 17 *****
Robb didn’t answer Sansa. Not with words anyway. Instead, he marched over to
the bed and sat down facing her. He took her face in his hands and kissed her
the way he’d longed to do all night. “God, Sansa,” he murmured and pressed hot,
wet kisses along her jaw and then down her neck.
“This isn’t watching the movie,” she whispered. “I had the purest of intentions
here…”
“By waiting for me in my bed?” he chuckled as he then picked up the bowl in her
lap and transported it to his nightstand.
“You have a point,” she murmured as she stretched her legs out on the bed and
Robb climbed over her. He braced himself over her and kissed her again. She
fisted his shirt in her hands and pulled on him. Robb lay down against her and
she spread her legs so that he could lay between them. He kissed her slowly, as
though they had all the time in the world. He ended the kiss by biting on her
bottom lip lightly.
She sighed the sigh of the contended and ran her hand through his curls. “I
wanted to yank on these all night,” she said.
He groaned, thinking not only of how she used to yank on his curls when they
made love, but that she’d just admitted that to him. When she expressed wanting
him, it heated his blood.
He brushed his fingers gently on the red mark on her cheek. It angered him all
over again how Margaery had hit Sansa. “Does it hurt?” he asked softly.
“No. I just wish I had gotten to slap her too. Or yank her hair out by the
roots.”
Robb grinned. “My little scrapper.” He glided his hand down her arm and then
back up, over her shoulder and then cupped the back of her head and drew her
head up. He kissed her again. “How drunk are you right now?”
“Not very…” she whispered.
“So I’m not taking advantage…?”
“No, but if it would make you feel better…” She pushed at him and forced him to
roll onto his back. She straddled him and gazed down at him with narrowed eyes.
“Now what to do with you…”
“Anything,” he breathed and placed his hands on her hips. “You can do anything
to me.” Just touch me and then don’t stop touching me, he thought desperately.
She played with the hem of his shirt. Robb waited patiently for her to decide
what she wanted to do. He was hard and felt like he would die if she didn’t
touch him, but he wouldn’t force her into anything. She didn’t even have to
touch his dick – just any part of him would suffice. Conversely, he wanted to
put his hands on her so bad he thought he might explode.
She began to push his shirt up and Robb’s body quaked at her touch, straining
towards it, while his breathing went uneven. “What happened when you dropped
Margaery off?” she asked conversationally.
He sat up and helped her take his shirt off. It went sailing across the room.
He then threaded his fingers in her hair and kissed her hungrily before
answering. “Nothing. I made sure she went to sleep and I left.”
“Did she blow you again?”
“No,” he growled. “I haven’t let her touch me since that night. I don’t like
when she touches me and I’ve no desire to touch her. I don’t want to talk about
Margaery. He kissed her hard and quickly. “You’re in my bed and in my arms; I
want to focus on that and nothing else.”
“But don’t you want to hear how crazy it made me to see her touching you?” she
asked against his lips as Robb lay back and pulled her on top of him.
“About as crazy as it drove me when Jon touched you.”
“Don’t talk about him,” she whispered. “I’ll just feel guilty.”
He felt like he should touch on that, but if that meant no more of this then it
could wait. He rolled them over so that she was on her back. Her legs wound
around his waist. She met his gaze straight on as she spread her fingers over
his chest. “I like the chest hair,” she murmured.
Did that mean Jon didn’t have chest hair? he wondered. Nope, don’t want to
know, he thought. Don’t want to think about Sansa doing anything with Jon.
“Don’t stop touching me,” he rasped. “Don’t ever stop touching me.”
“How do you like to be touched, Robb? I don’t remember…”
“Sansa, as long as you’re the one doing the touching, I don’t care. Just do
it.”
She smiled and ran her hands up his chest and over his nipples. He groaned and
ground himself against her. He was finding it hard to breathe at this point.
She framed his face with her hands and brought him down to her. “Kiss me,” she
commanded on a whisper.
He kissed her hungrily. This was the Sansa from before. The vixen in his bed.
The one that teased him and turned him on beyond his ability to think. He was
so glad to see her back.
As he kissed her, he slid his hand under her top and over that patch of skin on
her belly that had driven him crazy earlier. He felt her shiver and he grinned
as he broke their kiss. She had always been so responsive to his touch.
She watched him with a question in her eyes as he rolled partially to his side
and lifted the hem of her tank top. He then slid down a bit on the bed and
pushed her tank up further, to just up under breasts. He put his lips on her
belly and peppered kisses on the expanse of flesh there. “Your top showed off
your stomach every time you moved tonight,” he murmured against her skin in
between kisses. “I wanted to put my hand on this spot…and my lips.”
“Come back,” she urged and pulled on his arm.
He kissed his way back up her body, making sure to kiss between her breasts and
not take liberties by sucking one into his mouth – but Christ, he wanted to.
He kissed her again and again, until his lips felt numb and her cheeks were red
from his beard. “I should shave,” he said as he gazed down at her and gently
ran his fingers over her jaw and cheeks. “You have beard burn.”
“No,” she said and touched his beard with the tips of her fingers. “I like your
beard.”
He smiled. “Then I’ll keep it.” He didn’t tell her that she used to especially
like his beard when he went down on her. He would save that for another time.
“Will you just hold me for a while, Robb?” she asked sleepily and curled into
him.
“Of course,” he said and wrapped an arm around her. “I’ll hold you all night.”
“No,” she murmured. “The boys and Arya could come home early and see.”
Robb sighed. They were free, and yet there were still restrictions. He hated
it. “Sleep for a while, Sansa. I’ll set the alarm.”
It didn’t take her long to fall asleep. Sleep didn’t come for a long while for
Robb though. Instead, he watched her sleep while running his fingers through
her hair. It had been much too long since she’d been in his arms like this and
he didn’t want to waste a minute.
xxxxxxxx
Sansa woke up to the scent of pancakes, bacon and coffee. Her stomach grumbled.
And then the need for a long cold drink of water hit her. It took her a minute
for the night before to come back to her.
A horrible double date.
Margaery being a mean and obnoxious drunk.
Sansa preferring to get drunk and deal with Margaery hanging off Robb instead
of sober and having to deal with it.
Margaery hitting her.
Then coming home and telling Jon she just wanted to sleep it off. She had
already started to sober up by then and by the time Robb had come home she had
been almost completely sober.
Kissing Robb. Touching him. Being touched. Feeling his skin under her hands…
She was in her room now though and she remembered Robb saying he would set the
alarm so she could get to her own bed just in case the boys or Arya came home.
She certainly didn’t remember the alarm going off or climbing up to bed.
She threw the covers off and climbed out of bed. She had only a slight headache
and was thankful for just that considering she’d imbibed two Scorpion Bowls and
a Pina Colada. After using the bathroom, washing her face, brushing her teeth,
and running a brush through her hair, she padded down to the kitchen where she
found Robb flipping pancakes and humming along to the radio.
He had on gray sweat pants that rode low on his hips and a white t-shirt. His
curls were a mess and he was just so adorable and hot and she actually found
herself feeling shy. Then he looked her way and smiled broadly. He smiled at
her as though she was everything. As though she was the sun and the moon and
the stars.
Sansa smiled back.
“Come here,” he said huskily and reached out a hand.
She may as well have had an invisible cord about her waist that he pulled on,
for she propelled herself to his side and allowed him to pull her into him. He
enveloped her in his arms and kissed her soundly.
“Good morning,” he rumbled when he had sufficiently stolen her breath and her
knees.
“Good morning,” she said softly. “How did I get up to bed?”
He smiled. “I carried you. I woke up before the alarm went off.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” He kissed her again. “Hungry?”
“I am.” She pushed out of his arms and went to grab a glass from the cabinet
above the sink. “And I’m dying of thirst.”
“Gee, I wonder why.”
“Ha ha.”
“Are you hungover?”
She shook her head as she filled her glass with water and then went to the
fridge and opened the freezer to get some ice cubes. “No, just a slight
headache which is just probably dehydration.”
She then proceeded to down her glass, which was a pretty tall glass, too. Then
she refilled it again. Robb laughed. “Wow. You weren’t kidding about being
thirsty.”
She polished off the second glass with a satisfied sigh and then went for the
orange juice. “You want some?” she asked and shook the carton.
“Sure.”
She could feel his eyes on her the entire time and when she turned to hand him
a glass of OJ, he was unabashedly staring.
“Stop staring at me,” she told him. “You’re creeping me out, McCreepy.”
He laughed softly, took a sip of his OJ, and then put his glass down. He shut
off the griddle and began transferring the remaining pancakes on the griddle to
a plate where there was already a pile of them. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was
just thinking of how nice this is. There weren’t many opportunities for us to
play house before. It makes me think of how it could be like this all the time
if we moved away together.”
“Robb, don’t,” Sansa said softly.
He froze. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t talk about running off together.”
“I said moving away not running away.”
“What else would it be other than running away? You already know we wouldn’t
have our family’s blessing.”
He looked at her, his expression serious. “Are you thinking about it then?
About us being together?”
“No,” she admitted. “I wasn’t. I don’t want to right now. Can’t we just…last
night with you was great, and this morning until you started talking about it.
I don’t want to think about all that, Robb.”
“It’s something we’ll eventually have to think about.” She fell silent and he
turned to look at her. “What? You don’t think it’s something we’ll have to talk
about?”
“If you want to talk about it in terms of am I ready and do I want to do that,
then sure,” she said slowly. “But if you want to talk about it in terms of
absolute certainty that I am completely on board with running off together,
then no.”
He carried the plate of pancakes over to the table and placed it beside a plate
of bacon. He sighed heavily. “I see.”
“I know you want me to hurry up and be where you are, but I’m not. I know that
my feelings for you are strong and that probably means I’m falling in love with
you, but you’re asking a lot by asking me to just pick up and leave. I’m not
there yet. I don’t know if I ever will be.”
He turned to look at her, his jaw clenched tight. “You can’t have it both ways,
Sansa. You can’t kiss me and touch me the way you did last night and then take
it all back—”
“I’m not taking it back! I wanted to touch you; I wanted to kiss you. I want to
just be with you. Can’t we just be together without having to have a plan
already in place? Without having to be already gone in our heads? This is still
new to me. I know it’s not for you, but it is for me.”
“But you don’t know what you want,” Robb said. “You’re with Jon and you want to
be with me. Sansa, I don’t want to share you.”
“I haven’t slept with him since that night. I know that if I went to his dorm
last night when he asked if I would that it would have happened and I said no.
I wanted to be here with you. I’m sorry that I don’t know what I’m doing.” She
welled up in tears. “I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to hurt Jon. I
don’t want to hurt anybody—”
Robb had her in his arms in two strides. He buried his face in her hair as he
held her tight. “I’m sorry.”
“Jesus, don’t apologize,” she said. “I know it’s not fair to you or to him. I’m
all over the place and I know it.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I just want to spend some time with you. Mom and Dad are gone. Bran, Rickon,
and Arya will no doubt be out most of the time and I want to just…to just be
with you. I don’t want to think about the future. I just want to be in the
present with you. No one else. Just us.”
Robb leaned back and kissed her. “Then that’s what we’ll do.” He pressed his
forehead to hers and they stood there, just breathing together. He wanted to
tell her that he loved her so much he would do anything to build a life with
her, and if leaving the family was the only way to do that then he was resigned
to it. He’d practically been kicked out of it once already after their mother
had found out about them. Granted he’d still hand contact with them in some
way, but Bran, Rickon and Arya had been young when he’d left and they hadn’t
been so close that they kept in constant contact. The only ones he’d kept in
contact with was his mother and father.
Christ. His father.
Ned would disown him. Sansa was his little girl and Robb knew in his gut that
his father would blame Robb and turn him out before he’d do that to Sansa. His
mother, the second time around, would as well.
Before when he and Sansa had planned to leave their family wouldn’t have been
the wiser, but now, with their mother knowing, they would be. She would fight
them. She would tell Ned.
And yet...and yet Robb knew he would still risk it. Those five years without
Sansa had been rough. He’d lived his life; he went through the motions of what
he was supposed to do. But his heart was shredded and he felt numb. He couldn’t
go back to that again. He’d wished several times that he had lost his memories,
too.
He remembered when he’d returned and they’d greeted each other again after all
that time. How his heart was in his throat the entire time. How he hadn’t been
able to stop staring at her and at how beautiful she’d grown. How the sound of
her voice after all that time had nearly brought him to his knees. He had felt
more in those few minutes than he had in anything he’d done in California. He
could feel again, taste again, and breathe again. Not everything was dull and
lifeless the way it had been while he’d been away. He needed Sansa the way he
needed air and food and drink.
Sansa had a very different experience though, and he couldn’t disregard that.
She’d spent all this time with no memory of what they’d had and so for her,
life had carried on. She’d had her family, school, and Jon. Of course she now
had her reservations. He couldn’t pretend that she didn’t, or wish that she
didn’t – they were different people now and much time and distance between
them. He felt a bit thick-headed that he had to keep reminding himself to be
patient.
“What are you thinking?” she asked softly and put her hand on the side of his
face gently.
He forced himself to smile and put his worries aside and just be in the moment
with Sansa like she’d asked. “I’m thinking…how do you feel about hiking?”
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter took forever to write!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Remind me to toss you off the top of this mountain if I don’t die before we
get there,” Sansa grumbled as she and Robb made their way over another steep
incline of rocks. Sansa hated rocks. And hiking. And sweating. And she
especially hated Robb laughing behind her.
“We’re almost there, I promise,” Robb said encouragingly.
“This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said we should spend some time
together.”
“When we get to the top it will have been worth it.”
“If this mountain doesn’t kill me first!”
Robb laughed again and after another fifteen minutes of climbing they finally
reached the top. And they were alone. For a long while they just stood out over
the top of the mountain and looked over the city of Winterfell.
“Worth it?” Robb asked and grabbed her hand.
“Maybe,” Sansa said, but she was smiling. “Now feed me.”
They found a rock to sit on together and Robb opened up the backpack he’d
carried up and pulled out a couple apples, a couple Cliff Bars, and a couple
peanut butter sandwiches. They had both water that they’d carried up with them.
They ate in silence for the next twenty minutes and when they were done, Robb
put all the trash in the backpack and they just sat together on the rock,
looking out over the view. Robb wrapped an arm around her and pressed a kiss to
her temple.
“Did you get a hold of Arya before we left?” Sansa asked as she leaned into
Robb and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I did. She was with Brienne still. She thought she might sleep over there
again tonight. Did you get in touch with Bran and Rickon?”
“Bran was going to be home to eat something for dinner and then he was taking
off with one of his friends and probably spending the night again. Rickon,
unfortunately, is going to be home.”
Robb sighed. “Well, there goes our alone time.”
“Things could change,” Sansa said. “You never know.”
“Let’s hope.”
It was in moments like this where Sansa could see Robb’s point in wanting to go
abroad and start anew. When Rickon had said he would most likely be home, Sansa
had felt the crushing weight of disappointment. She’d been looking forward to
having another night with Robb. And, she knew that she and Robb couldn’t
exactly steal away and hang out in his room just in case Catelyn asked what
everyone had been up to that weekend, specifically what Robb and Sansa had been
up to. Even an off-handed, “Oh, they just hung out in his room” would be enough
to send up red flags.
Of course she wasn’t about to tell Robb anything of the sort. She didn’t want
to get his hopes up that she was considering his suggestion because she wasn’t.
She just might have imagined it a little.
“Robb.”
“Hmmm?”
“Do you think if either of us had been born to another family we would have
still found each other?” she asked.
He smiled and nodded. “Absolutely.”
She smiled. “Absolutely, huh?”
“You’re my other half, Sansa, no matter what form you take.”
“You’re such a romantic. Hey, Robb?”
“Yeah?”
“How did Mom get you to tell her what was going on?”
“She confronted me after the accident. I was…I didn’t handle it well, you being
in a coma. I was beside myself. She didn’t think it quite so…brotherly, and
told me basically that she knew something wasn’t right between us. She brought
up the fact that she’d noticed an intimacy between us that was obvious in
couples that were having relations with each other.”
“Did she use that word? Relations?”
“Yes.”
“What did you say?”
“I denied it of course, but she wouldn’t let it go. She said she had found it
funny when we’d both applied to the same school in California, but hadn’t
really thought much about it until she saw us that night on the couch and had
gotten a bad feeling that something was going on. We applied to other schools,
too, but just for show. I told Mom that you had inspired me to go back to
school and that we’d made a contest out of applying to the same places.”
“Wow. So we were really good at weaving stories,” she murmured.
“We had to be. You know how Mom is when she has something set in her mind. She
doesn’t let go of it.”
Sansa sighed. “I know. And she’s crazy intuitive. There was one time Arya snuck
out of the house to be with her friends and Mom just woke up and somehow knew.”
“Well, it was the same kind of thing after the accident. She told me she knew
you weren’t really interested in Joffrey and said she found it interesting that
you’d started dating him shortly after she’d confronted me the first time about
our relationship. I was too wrecked worrying about whether or not you were ever
going to wake up to also keep her suspicions at bay. I broke down and told
her.” He sighed. “And then you woke up.”
Sansa looked at him sadly. “With amnesia.”
“Yeah,” Robb said softly. “And everything changed. Southern California might
not have been the only place you’d applied to, but it was the only one you
never learned about after Mom threw out the acceptance letter. She pushed me to
go, and pushed me to go early in the hopes that my not being around you
wouldn’t trigger a memory.”
“I’m sorry,” Sansa said and put her head back on his shoulder.
“Don’t apologize. You woke up and that’s all that matters.”
“So you left and what happened?”
“I lived my life, which wasn’t much of one. I missed you every day and tried to
tell myself that maybe I was sick and had to get over it. I dated, I slept
around, and I even half convinced myself I could fall in love with a couple
women.”
“What happened to them?” she asked softly.
“I sabotaged them both. They wanted much more than I could give them. When push
came to shove, it turned out I didn’t love them at all and wasn’t even close to
it.”
“I always thought that my aversion to dating was because of the accident and
how it came to be with Joffrey,” she said. “Maybe it was because subconsciously
I was waiting for you.”
He pressed a kiss to her temple again. “See? Meant to be.”
She kissed his cheek and stood. “I need to stretch.” And think. She needed a
few to process all that Robb had told her.
She ambled over to a flatter rock and started doing some yoga poses to stretch
out her calves and hamstrings. When she did Downward Dog, she heard Robb groan.
She turned her head slightly and found he’d come closer.
“Are you trying to kill me, Sansa?” he asked and fondled her ass.
“Robb!” she scolded playfully and laughed. She righted herself wagged a finger
at him. “Naughty boy.”
He grinned wolfishly and looked completely unapologetic about that fact.
“I did promise to teach you some poses,” she told him.
“Maybe when we get home. We should start heading back so we can sort out what’s
going on tonight.”
“Yes, sir, Commander, sir!” Sansa saluted.
He laughed and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her passionately and ended
the kiss with a soft bite and pull of her bottom lip. It drove Sansa wild. She
responded by kissing him voraciously and he laughed huskily. “You liked me
biting your lip,” he said.
“Yes,” she replied and nodded eagerly.
“Then I’ll be sure to do that again in the future.”
xxxxxxxx
Arya and Bran’s cars when Sansa and Robb returned home. Sansa sighed. “Well,
here we go,” she said.
“We’ll tell them that Jon was with us,” Robb said before they climbed out of
the car.
Sansa blinked. “What?”
“If they ask where we were. We’ll tell them we went hiking but that Jon was
with us. Okay?”
She nodded, hating all the subterfuge. Nothing like having to steal moments
together and then lie about it to really kill the mood.
“Tonight, if Rickon ends up staying home, maybe we could go out?” she
suggested. “I could say I’m going to Jon’s and you could say you’re going to
Margaery’s.”
He nodded, but didn’t say anything as he got out of the car. Sansa climbed out
after him and they both went into the house.
The kitchen was a disaster and the TV was loud in the living room. Arya came
bounding into the kitchen a second later. “Where were you guys?” she asked. “I
tried calling you, Robb.”
“Jon, Sansa, and I went for a hike,” Robb said smoothly. “What’s going on?”
“Can we talk in private? I need some advice on something,” Arya said and darted
a look at Sansa.
Sansa pursed her lips together and went into the living room without a word. It
was no secret that she and Arya weren’t very close, but it still stung to have
Arya be so dismissive of her. Not that Arya listened to any advice Sansa gave
her anyway. Perhaps Arya was just saving them both a lot of time and headaches
(and arguing). Sansa went to the living room and found both Bran and Rickon
watching some action movie.
“Hey guys,” she greeted them.
They both lifted their hands in greeting, but didn’t look at her.
“Okay,” Sansa said slowly and headed upstairs to take a shower.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket just as she was taking it out and saw that it
was a text coming in from Jon: Hey, how are you feeling?
Sansa sat down on her bed and replied with: I’m okay. Slept like the dead. How
are you?
Jon: I’m okay. Are you busy? Do you want to do something?
Sansa bit her lip. Another person to lie to. I can’t tonight, I’m sorry.
Jon:Sansa, are you okay? You’ve been acting kind of weird lately. Did I do
something to upset you?
Oh fuck. No, she wrote back, not at all! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be weird.
Jon: You’d tell me if you were upset, right?
She frowned and wrote, Of course!
Jon: Okay.
Sansa put her phone down and just sat there. Jon had been her best friend
before her boyfriend. She liked him a lot…she just didn’t want him the same way
she wanted Robb and it wasn’t fair to him. Robb was right. She had a choice to
make. She couldn’t keep stringing Jon along like this. The last time she’d used
a beard she’d ended up wrapped around a tree. This time, Robb was using one too
and he ended up with a train wreck like Margaery.
Was it that when they were together people got hurt or when they were apart –
even when being apart wasn’t real and just meant to throw off suspicion?
Was she being stupid wanting this time with Robb? This time that she apparently
wasn’t going to get anyway. Was it something she just needed to get out of her
system – would it eventually pass? Was it just lust?
She could have a normal relationship with Jon. There wouldn’t be any sneaking
around, no lying, no coming up with stories, no acting and pretending. With
Robb, it was all of that all of the time.
But if they moved away….
She allowed herself a minute to imagine it. A little cottage in, say, some
English countryside. She could work as an elementary school teacher, Robb would
be an attorney. No one there would have to know they were siblings. They could
come and go as they pleased. Sleep in the same bed. Share meals together, hold
hands in public. They could make love whenever they wanted wherever they wanted
in their little cottage. She could kiss him when she wanted to. He could hold
her while they watched a movie.
She then saw her parents in her mind’s eyes. Saw how they probably wouldn’t
accept it. Accept them. They might even disown them. What if they sought legal
action to stop it? What if their mother or father (or both) had Robb arrested?
Could they do that? Would they do that?
Okay, stop, she thought. You’re spiraling.
Robb came in her room then and shut the door behind him. “Okay, Arya is going
out for the night for sure. Bran is too, and Rickon is talking to a friend on
the phone and it sounds like he might go over there.”
He looked so excited that Sansa couldn’t take it away from him with her maudlin
thoughts. Instead, she smiled up at him. “Great.”
Chapter End Notes
     The lip biting thing was inspired by this...
      

     [ photo robbbiteslip_zpsmimxidwe.gif]
***** Chapter 19 *****
Sansa’s less than enthusiastic response to their possibly having the night to
themselves had concerned Robb. She’d looked distracted and distraught by
something when he’d come to tell her the good news and he’d seen her phone in
her hand. Was it Jon? Was she having doubts? Second thoughts? If it was Jon,
did she care more for him than she’d let on?
After Robb had dropped Rickon off at a friend’s house for the night, she called
to tell him to pick up a bottle of wine. Okay. Maybe he’d been overreacting.
Maybe everything was fine. Maybe he was seeing problems where there weren’t any
all because he was so afraid to lose her again.
When Robb got home, bottle of wine in hand, and walked through the door Sansa
came running out of the dining room towards him. He caught her in his arms,
which was tricky with a bottle of wine in his hand, and laughed as she peppered
his face with kisses.
He’d worried for nothing.
He walked her backwards to the counter and put the bottle of wine down on it.
Then he took her face in his hands and kissed her ardently. His hands slipped
under her shirt, needing to feel her skin under his hands. His relief that she
wasn’t pulling back had increased his ardor.
But then she broke the kiss and grabbed his wrists. “Stop, stop, wait,” she
said with a laugh.
“What? What is it?” he asked even as he chased her lips to kiss her again.
“Close your eyes,” she ordered.
“Why?”
“Robb, just do it. It’s a surprise. You’ll like it, I promise.”
He closed his eyes. “Okay, now what?”
“Follow me,” she said and took his hands.
“Sansa, I can’t follow you. I have my eyes closed.”
She laughed. “Just hold onto me.”
“Always,” he said.
She walked in front of him and had her hands behind her, clasping his. She led
him slowly through the house and he thought they might be going in the
direction of the dining room.
Then she stopped abruptly and he knocked into her back. She let go of his hands
and said softly, “Okay. Open your eyes.”
He did as she directed and his heart clenched when he saw the candlelit dinner
she’d prepared. For him. For them. “Sansa,” he breathed.
“Okay, so the dinner itself is questionable. I can’t cook to save my life so I
made tomato soup and—mmph!”
Robb didn’t let her finish before he was pulling her into his arms and kissing
her. “I love you so much,” he whispered. He pressed fevered kisses along her
jaw and down her neck. He bit at her pulse point and then licked her there. She
shivered and pressed herself against him.
“Robb,” she moaned.
He groaned. “How long I’ve waited to hear you say my name like that…”
“We should eat…”
“I am going to eat,” he said and lifted her. She wound her legs around his
waist. “I’m going to eat you,” he said huskily and as he carried her into the
living room. He placed her down on the couch vertically and she framed his face
with her hands as he kissed her.
He trailed kisses down her neck, down her chest and over her belly – all
through her clothes. Then he got to her jeans and undid them. He looked up at
her, giving her a chance to stop him. She didn’t; her eyes had darkened and her
cheeks were flushed. She wanted this.
When he saw the first patch of skin bared, he placed a hot, wet kiss there. He
went to his knees and pulled down her jeans and panties and when she was bare
for him, he spread her legs slid each hand up each leg. He kissed one knee,
then the next, and watched her watching him.
He then pressed kisses along the inside of her thighs and when he got to her
pussy, he breathed in the scent of her and spread the lips of her labia. “Such
a pretty pink pussy, Sansa,” he murmured.
“Robb,” she said on a whisper and he heard a bit of a scold in her voice.
He grinned and licked her. And then licked her again. She moaned. “You were
going to say something, Sansa?”
“Don’t stop,” she gasped. “God, please don’t stop.”
“I don’t plan to,” he growled into her flesh. She tasted sweeter than he’d
remembered and he shut his eyes and savored having the taste of his Sansa again
in his mouth. “I want you to come in my mouth.”
Her fingers speared through his curls and she held him against her. She began
to move her hips and when he looked up at her to gauge her reactions, he found
her head tilted back, eyes closed and mouth open.
“Look at me,” he told her. “I want to see your eyes on me, Sansa.”
She looked down at him heatedly. He licked, nibbled, and teased her nub until
she was gasping and begging him to make her come. He traced his name on her
clit and she cried out just as he’d finished the second ‘b’.
He didn’t stop tasting her until she pulled lightly on his hair and she kissed
his way back up to her mouth. “Do you want to taste yourself on me?” he asked
as he leaned over her.
“Yes,” she gasped and drew him down for a voracious kiss.
Her hand went to the tent in his jeans and he groaned and stayed her hand. She
broke the kiss and looked at him in question.
“This was about you,” he told her. “I don’t want you to do that because you
feel like you owe me something.”
Her stomach growled then and he placed his hand over her belly and laughed. “I
think it’s time to eat.”
“I’m going to have to warm up the soup.”
He smiled. “Worth it?”
She laughed as though she couldn’t believe he’d just asked that. “I just came
my brains out,” she said. “Yes, it was worth it.”
It was on the tip of Robb’s tongue to ask her if Jon had made her come like
that, but he didn’t want to spoil the mood and quite frankly, he didn’t really
want to know if the other man had. Sansa was here with him, and that was all
that mattered. He would have liked more certainty but, for now, this was
enough. He would take what he could get.
xxxxxxxxx
Later, after their dinner of reheated tomato soup and lukewarm grilled cheese,
Robb and Sansa headed down to his room where they curled up on his bed together
and made out like teenagers.
One of his hands was on her hip, holding her close to him while their legs were
intertwined. His other arm was stretched out under head and his hand was
playing with the long strands of her hair. Sansa’s hands were under his shirt,
pressed against his skin. “Was it always like this?” she asked breathlessly
when she parted for air.
“In varying degrees,” he replied, just as breathlessly.
“Tell me. Please.”
“From the moment we got together—”
“Tell me about our first time.”
She realized she could be a bit all over the place in what she wanted to know,
but she wanted to know everything about them.
“Everyone in the house was gone,” he whispered and rolled them so that she was
on her back. She spread her legs and wound her legs around him, fisting his
shirt in her hands and pulling him down to kiss her. “We went into my bedroom
and we stripped each other bare.”
“Yeah?” she ground herself against him.
“Then I laid you down and I kissed every inch of your perfect body. I made you
come with my mouth on you. I sucked on your breasts…”
“Did I go down on you?”
Robb nodded and rubbed himself against her. They both gasped. “Yes. We took our
time exploring each other. You were so wet for me…”
“Oh, God, Robb!” she cried out and came.
“Oh, Sweetheart, you came for me again,” he moaned. “My Sansa, my sweet Sansa…”
“It was always like this?” she gasped.
“Sometimes it was slow and sometimes it was fast,” he murmured as he nuzzled
the side of her face.
Sansa slid her legs down to the bed and looked up at him. When they were like
this together it was easy to pretend it could always be like this. But in
moments when they were surrounded by their family, reality sunk in. What they
were sunk in.
Robb caressed the side of her face. “Where are you?” he asked softy.
She shook her head. “Nowhere. I’m here.”
“Talk to me, Sansa. I want to know what you’re thinking. We can’t work through
any of this without talking.”
She sighed. “It’s just – let’s say Mom found out and told Dad.”
“I’m following.”
“Do you think Dad – or maybe even Mom – would have either you or I or both of
us arrested?”
Robb sighed and moved off of her. He lay on his side and Sansa moved so that
she was facing him. “I don’t think he’d have us both arrested. If he were to do
it, it would most likely just be me,” he said.
“Does that scare you at all?”
“I don’t know that he would actually do it. I’m just saying if he was going to,
it would probably be me he’d do it to.”
“And let’s say we did run away together,” she began and rolled onto her back to
look up at the ceiling.
“Yeah?”
Sansa didn’t miss the hopeful tone in his voice. “What do you think they’d do
then? And how would we even do it? Would we tell them? Or just go?”
“What would you prefer? Things have changed now that Mom knows. Before we just
planned to go and let them know we were going without giving anything away. But
now…well, things have changed. If we were to go, would you want to tell them
first?”
She arched a brow. “You mean you don’t already have a plan all ready to go?”
“Very funny. No, I don’t. Up until a couple weeks ago I didn’t think you’d ever
remember us. Plus, I think this is something we’d have to plan together, don’t
you?”
“Don’t get your hopes on a plane and fly them out of here just yet.”
“Yesterday you didn’t even want to talk about it. What changed?”
She sighed. “…stuff.”
“What ‘stuff’?”
“Just coming home after our hike and having everyone here…how we can’t even say
we went on a hike together because of what could be said to Mom. All the lies
and stories and having to make sure all our bases are covered. It’s just a lot
of work.”
“Is that why you didn’t seem as thrilled earlier when I told you we might just
have the house to ourselves?”
She kept her eyes on the ceiling. “Partly.”
“What was the other part?”
“Jon.”
Robb was afraid of that. He waited to see if she’d embellish on that.
“He texted me earlier and asked if I was busy tonight. I told I was, and he
asked if I was okay. He said I’d been acting funny lately and wanted to make
sure he didn’t do anything to upset me.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and
squeezed her eyes shut. “Jon has been my best friend for a long time now,
Robb.” She dropped her hand and stared back up at the ceiling. “I hate lying to
him, but I don’t have a choice and I know that. It’s also not fair of me to
string him along. Nor is it fair to you. It was then that I started to think
about all it would entail if we went away. I’d have to give Jon up entirely; I
couldn’t even keep him as my friend because he probably wouldn’t understand. No
one would. I don’t even understand it still.” She looked at him. “Do you? Do
you understand why this happened? Why we feel this way about each other?”
He slid closer to her and put his hand on the side of her face. “No, I don’t.”
She laughed and moved his hand away. “Here I thought you were going to say
something profound and deep and make it all make sense.”
“Sansa, I’ve been over it a million different ways in my head. I’ve researched
soul mates and twin flames—”
“Twin flame?”
“It’s your other half. Like a soul mate, but stronger. Some believe that we
were all happy little clams once upon a time and physically attached to each
other.” He placed his hand on her belly. “Right at our belly buttons. Then the
Gods split us apart for one reason or another and scattered us around the
world. Until we find our other half we are incomplete. Some spend lifetime
after lifetime looking for their twin flame. Some don’t realize they are even
missing theirs until they meet them.”
“So you think that we’re twin flames and the cruel joke is that we’re related?”
“I don’t know that I necessarily buy into it completely, but it is a nice story
isn’t it?”
She smiled. “It certainly goes along with your romantic side.”
“It could even be as simple as we’ve always had a special bond and this is how
its manifested. I don’t know, Sansa, and I don’t care about the reasons why. I
only care about what happens to us from here.”
“I wish I—”
A familiar voice drifted down to them. “Robb? Are you down there?”
Sansa’s eyes went wide. “Margaery.”
She scrambled off the bed and righted her clothes.
Robb climbed out of the bed and did the same, but with less haste.
And then they heard Margaery coming down the stairs. She stood in the doorway
and put her hands on her hips. “Well, well, well,” she said and zeroed in on
Robb. “There you are.”
***** Chapter 20 *****
“How did you get in?” Robb demanded of Margaery.
“The door was unlocked,” she said with a shrug.
“And you just let yourself in?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Margaery said. “All the lights were on
upstairs and your cars were in the driveway. I knew one or both of you had to
be home. I’ve let myself in before. Right, Sansa?”
“Unfortunately, you are correct,” Sansa said with a sigh.
Margaery looked at her sharply and then sighed. “Sansa, listen, about last
night…I’m sorry.” She looked at Robb and then back at Sansa. “I’m sorry to both
of you for how I behaved last night. I was out of line. I’m kind of a mean
drunk.”
“Kind of?” Sansa said rhetorically.
Margaery sighed and folded her hands before her demurely. “Like I said, I’m
sorry. I shouldn’t have started drinking in the first place, but I thought I’d
be fine since I hadn’t gotten drunk like that in a long time. Clearly I was
mistaken.” She looked at Sansa. “I don’t know what happened to you and me, but
we used to be friends. I mean, sure we didn’t hang out a lot or anything, but I
always enjoyed talking with you, Sansa. I feel like ever since I started dating
Robb our relationship has changed and I don’t know why.”
Because a. you started dating Robb, b. you went down on him on your first date,
and c. you treat him like a possession, Sansa thought.
She couldn’t tell Margaery the first two reasons, so she went with the third.
“I don’t like the way you treat my brother,” Sansa said plainly. “He’s not a
possession, Margaery; he’s a person.”
Margaery nodded and looked about ready to cry. She bit her lip and looked at
Robb. “Can we talk?”
Robb darted a glance at Sansa, who was already walking to the door. “Uh, sure…”
Sansa climbed the stairs up to the kitchen and started to head up to her
bedroom when she stopped, paused, and turned back around. She went outside to
the front of the house where the living room window was…
She could see it all and, in fact, she could clearly see the couch where Robb
had gone down on her earlier. If Margaery had come by earlier she would have
gotten quite the show.
Margaery would have also gotten quite a show if she hadn’t announced herself
the way she did before coming down to Robb’s bedroom. Granted, Sansa and Robb
hadn’t been naked, but they had been on the bed together, laying in each
other’s arms. What if it had been Arya? Or Rickon? Or Bran? What if their
parents had come home early? Neither of them had thought about locking the
door, but if it had been any part of the family then that wouldn’t have
mattered.
They weren’t thinking. They were being too reckless.
Sansa got the sense that before the accident she hadn’t been as worried as she
should have been about the possibility of discovery. Or maybe she just hadn’t
thought it would ever happen. However, post-accident Sansa was a cautious sort
of person. She knew the risks involved and was aware of them in a way that Robb
didn’t seem to be. Yet when she was with him she became so consumed with him
that all else fell away.
Being without Robb felt like an impossibility, but what did she do when being
with him felt like one, too?
xxxxxxxx
“So, what were you guys doing down here anyway?” Margaery asked as she sat down
on Robb’s bed.
“Watching TV,” he replied.
“The TV is off.”
“I heard a noise upstairs,” he lied easily. “I turned it off to hear better and
then you called down.”
“Why not upstairs in the living room? Is anyone else home?”
“No, they’re not. I was just hanging out in my room and Sansa came down to see
what I was doing. Was there something you wanted to say to me or did you want a
play-by-play of my day?”
“I called you earlier,” she said softly.
Robb raked a hand through his hair. “I rather felt after last night I didn’t
have to formally tell you that we were through.”
“I know I was an asshole.”
“Margaery, you slapped my sister. You let the entire table know that we weren’t
having sex. You attempted to jack me off at the table. Did I mention you
slapped Sansa?”
“I know, and I have a lot of apologies to make to her, but Robb…I – I don’t
want to lose you.”
“Margaery—”
“No, listen, hear me out. Robb, I like you. A lot. You’re not like any guy I’ve
ever dated before. Most guys I date want to get physical right away and you’re
not like that. You talk to me; you actually want to get to know me, and you
have no idea how much that means to me. I like that you’re making me wait –
even I do want to jump your hot bod.”
“Margaery—”
“Please give me another chance. You’re such a gentleman and I’m not used to
that. You’re so kind and even shy and I like that. I fucked up last night.
Royally. And I know it. Please just give me another chance. I’ll be better, I
promise.”
Robb couldn’t believe it. She had taken his utter disinterest and sheer
unwillingness to do anything sexual with her as indicative of his just wanting
to get to know her. She thought he was just being a gentleman and it made her
like him more.
Had he stepped into another world, because that was certainly what it felt
like.
“Well?” she asked nervously. “What do you say?”
xxxxxxxx
Sansa was sitting on the stairs that led to the second floor when Robb and
Margaery emerged from the basement. She didn’t make a move and didn’t say a
word as she watched them pass by.
She heard Margaery bid him goodnight and he did the same to her. She heard the
door close and then she heard the snick of the lock. She stood and then Robb
was there about to head up to see her. He stopped when he saw her standing
there.
“How long have you been lurking in the stairway?” he asked.
She shot him a withering look. “I’m not lurking.”
He grinned. “No? You weren’t sitting here waiting for me to emerge with
Margaery?”
She rolled her eyes and came down the stairs. “I was, but not for the reason
you think,” she said.
“Then why?”
“Is she gone?”
“I’ll check.” She heard him to go to the door and unlock it. “She’s gone!” he
called out.
Sansa came down the stairs and found Robb about to lock the door again. “No,
don’t. I want to show you something outside.”
He looked confused, but he followed her outside. When they got to the front of
the house she gestured to the living room window. “Look. You can see
everything.”
He sighed. “Sansa—”
“If Margaery had come earlier she would have seen…everything.”
“Sansa—”
“And we didn’t lock the door. What if Bran or Arya or Rickon had come home?
What if Mom and Dad had gotten home early? We didn’t even hear Margaery until
she called down to us. Arya wouldn’t have announced herself. Neither would have
Bran or Rickon. They could have come down and seen—”
“Sansa, stop.”
“It freaked me out how close she came to seeing us together, Robb. It should
freak you out, too.”
“She didn’t see us.”
“But she could have.”
“But she didn’t.
“But she could have.”
He threw up his hands. “What do you want me to do, Sansa? What do you want me
to say?”
“I don’t know! I just – we’re reckless. You and I together are reckless, and we
can’t be.”
“We got a little ahead of ourselves because we’re alone.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “What did Margaery have to say?”
Robb held out his hand. “Let’s go back inside and I’ll tell you.”
She didn’t take his hand though. She kept her arms folded and tight against her
chest.
Robb felt her withdrawal like a slap. She followed him into the house and made
sure to lock the door. When Robb tried to get her to follow him down to his
bedroom she shook her head and sat down at the kitchen table instead.
He sat down across from her and calmly told her what Margaery had said.
“What did you tell her for an answer?” Sansa asked.
“I told her I had to think about it. I wanted to speak to you first before I
did anything. I would just as soon as end it, but I don’t know if it would be
better to keep her around – what is it?”
“What?”
“You flinched. Like I hit you. What is it?”
“You talking about keeping Margaery around as a beard. As if she’s not a person
with feelings. I may not be a huge fan of hers right now but I still think
that’s wrong.”
“And what is Jon then, Sansa?” he asked. “Isn’t he your beard? Or is he your
shield against me?”
“Excuse me?”
“You want to make me feel terrible about using Margaery when you’re doing the
same to Jon. But I have to wonder if part of the reason why you’re keeping him
around is so you don’t have to fully commit to me.”
“It’s harder with Jon. Based on my life after the memory loss, I’ve known Jon
longer than you.”
Robb’s expression darkened further.
“Jon’s important to me,” she said. “He was the first friend I made after the
accident. The only one I could stand to be around, and so he’s not like
Margaery in the sense that I can just flick my wrist and say ‘I’m done with you
now’.”
“Can you do that with me?”
She looked at him for a long time before answering. “My feelings for you are
like a bowl of fish hooks. I can’t pick up one without picking up others along
with it. There’s the one marked brother. Then the one marked lover. The one
marked…infinitely more than I can understand right now. Saying goodbye to you
wouldn’t be just a flick of my wrist.”
His voice was low and even when he spoke. “Do not say goodbye to me at all,
Sansa.”
“The last time a beard was involved we ended wrapped around a tree. I woke up
with no memory, you were forced to leave home for five years, and someone else
ended up paralyzed.”
“Joffrey Baratheon was an evil little shit, Sansa—”
“And now we have two people involved. One I care about very much and another
that obviously feels more for you than she knows what to do with.”
“Sansa, what are you getting at here exactly. You better not be telling me that
this is it. That you’re not even going to see where this can lead us—”
“Where, Robb? Where exactly can it lead us? All I keep thinking is if one part
of our family had seen us. Or if Margaery had. If Mom and Dad knew what we were
doing right now do you think they’d let us within a mile of each other? You’d
be sent off again. Or maybe me this time.”
“Sansa, just stop,” he said sternly and got up. He came over and knelt beside
her at the table. He took her hand in his and squeezed. “Listen to me. Yes, it
was a close call. Yes, we should have been more careful. We got ahead of
ourselves and we were reckless. We learn from it; we move on. You want me to
end things with Margaery, I will end things with Margaery. I never wanted to be
with her in the first place. I get it – it’s callous to use her. It’s not fair
to her just as it isn’t fair to Jon. You can sit here and tell me until you’re
blue in the face about how you care about Jon, but the fact remains that you do
not love him. You love me.”
“But the thing is, Robb… I don’t want to.”
With his jaw clenched tight, Robb got to his feet and strode to the basement
door. He slammed it behind him and Sansa started to cry.
***** Chapter 21 *****
Graduation was upon Sansa. That meant finals came first. Thankfully, Sansa
didn’t have a lot of them, though from what she understood from overhearing her
mother and Robb, he had a lot.
She and Robb hadn’t talked much since the weekend they had alone. When they did
speak it was small talk – pass the salt, have you seen Dad, can you grab a file
for me. Nothing of substance. Sansa knew she’d hurt him, and she felt terrible
about that, but she couldn’t dig her head in the sand the way he wanted her to.
The Monday at work following their estrangement, Sansa learned from her father
of all people that Robb had ended his relationship with Margaery. Instead of
acting out as Sansa had expected her to, Margaery seemed to withdraw. Then
she’d started dressing more demurely and no longer could Sansa hear Margaery
bellowing from the other side of the building the way she could before.
Margaery had a plan in motion already and that plan, it appeared, was to change
everything about herself to make Robb like her.
Sansa felt bad for her.
And she felt bad for Jon. She’d put the brakes on their relationship and told
him that she needed some time to sort a few things out. Unlike Robb though,
Sansa didn’t tell anyone about what she’d done. She figured it might buy her
some time to think about what to do, because she simply did not know. She spent
a lot of time at the library and if they wanted to believe she was with Jon,
she didn’t dissuade them of the notion.
When she and Robb were in the same room together she felt that invisible cord
pulling her to him. She wanted to just stare unabashedly at him, but she knew
she couldn’t. And she was always hyper aware of where he was when they occupied
the same space. She was so attuned to him she swore she could hear every breath
he took. Her palms would itch – she wanted to touch him. It didn’t even have to
be sexual. Just a hug would have sufficed in this state she was in. When she
heard his voice she strained to hear his every word. She loved his voice, deep
and sexy with a little bit of a rasp to it.
She missed him. She missed him so much her heart ached, but she didn’t know
what to do.
So, she threw herself into her schoolwork.
Her parents wanted her to attend graduation, but Sansa didn’t feel like it. She
just wanted her diploma. But, at her mother’s insistence, she attended. She
didn’t do it for herself; she did it for them. Afterwards, they had a barbeque
in the backyard to celebrate. Just family – Sansa insisted. She told them Jon
might stop by, but she never bothered to tell Jon about it. Besides, she was
pretty sure he had his own thing going on with his own family.
She was in the kitchen grabbing condiments from the fridge and putting them on
a tray to take outside when Robb came in. He started going through drawers and
was clearly looking for something with no success. When he slammed one of the
drawers and swore, Sansa jumped.
“Robb, what are you looking for?” she asked.
“That big grill spatula that Dad uses,” he muttered. “Where the fuck is it?”
“The sink. He took it out to clean it and apparently forgot about it,” she told
him and went to grab it at the same time Robb did. Their shoulders touched and
they both froze. Sansa hadn’t touched any part of him in over two weeks and so
just that small contact might as well have been full body contact. Robb moved
away from her and started to leave the kitchen. “Bring it out with the tray,
please,” he said without even turning around and looking at her.
The rest of the afternoon went by without incident and after everyone had
dispersed to do their own thing, Sansa stayed outside as the day started to
fade into night and sipped on a beer, her knees up to her chin.
When it was dark out and the moon and the stars had made an appearance, she
heard someone shuffling around behind her on the deck and without turning
around said, “Who’s back there?”
It was Robb. She heard him swear. “Christ, Sansa, you scared the fuck out of
me. What are you doing out here in the dark?”
“Just sitting here,” she said.
She heard him come closer and swore she could feel exactly where he was.
“Why don’t you come inside before you get eaten alive?” he asked softly.
“I’m fine. I sprayed bug spray on me earlier. What’s everyone doing inside?”
“Arya, Bran, and Rickon are gone with their friends. The Greyjoy’s came over to
talk to Mom and Dad so they’re all sitting out on the porch talking and
drinking wine.”
Sansa laughed softly. “So it’ll be an early night for Mom. Dad’s probably going
to have to carry her to bed.”
“She always thinks she can hold her liquor but she really can’t.” Silence,
then, “Well, I’ll leave you to it then.” She heard him start to shuffle away
and that was absolutely not what she wanted. This was the most they’d spoken
for the past two weeks.
“Hey, Robb?”
“Yeah?”
“I never asked how finals went for you.”
“They were fine,” he said. “I passed.”
“And your GPA would be?”
“Four point oh.”
“Excellent job. I graduated with a three point five.”
It was odd having a conversation without looking at each other. Maybe that was
for the best? Sansa just didn’t know anymore.
Silence stretched for so long Sansa began to wonder if he was like a bandit and
managed to get inside the house without her hearing him move when he finally
asked, “So, grad school in the fall?”
“Yeah…I’m going to take the Teacher’s Certification test next week.”
“Nervous?”
“Nah…but ask me when I haven’t had a couple beers.”
Robb laughed softly. “You’re a smart woman, Sansa. You’ll be fine. What grade
are you looking to teach again? Kindergarten?”
“Yep.”
“Not high school like Mom?”
“No way. So, you have like, what, fifty years left of grad school?”
“Just one.”
“Oh, that’s not too bad. What is it you want to do exactly?”
“I’m leaning towards environmental law right now, but I also like litigation.”
“You like to argue.”
She heard the smile in his voice when he said, “I guess I do.”
She wanted to tell him that she missed him. That she was on a break with Jon
and she didn’t know what to do. She wanted to tell him she was sorry for being
so difficult, but at the same time she didn’t think she should have to
apologize for thinking ahead, for thinking about what could become of them if
they were caught or if they decided to run off together. And now, with him
still being in school and her starting grad school in the fall…
It was impossible.
And Sansa felt the weight of if all sitting right there on her chest making her
unable to breathe.
“Good night, Sansa.”
Sansa forced herself to sound light and airy when she bid him goodnight. Inside
though, she felt absolutely gutted.
xxxxxxxx
A few days later when Sansa came home from running a few errands, she found
Robb in the kitchen with some woman that looked only vaguely familiar to her.
“Hey,” she said slowly as she dropped her purse on the table and looked at the
woman. She had long brown hair, a heart-shaped face and amber colored eyes.
Robb, who was at the fridge taking out a couple bottles of water gestured to
the stranger. “Sansa,” he said, “this is Jeyne. Do you remember her?”
Sansa pointed at her. “You used to work at the public library with Robb,
right?”
Jeyne smiled. “I did. Sansa, right?”
Sansa nodded and held out her hand. They shook hands and then it hit Sansa like
a thunderbolt. This was the woman that Robb had said had a crush on him just
before she’d decided to go out with Joffrey.
“So, how did you two meet up again?” Sansa asked.
Robb came over and handed Jeyne a bottle of water. “We ran into each other at
the grocery store of all places. I invited her back here so we could catch up.”
Sansa forced herself to smile. “That’s nice.”
Feeling awkward, like she was intruding on their “catch-up” time, Sansa excused
herself and headed up to her bedroom. A half an hour later, Robb shouted up to
her and told her that he and Jeyne were going out to dinner.
“Have fun!” Sansa called out to him.
Sansa sat on her bed and attempted to talk herself down from the ledge of
emotional breakdown she felt coming on. She told herself that this was for the
best. Robb was moving on. It wasn’t like she could make him wait forever while
she figured out what she wanted. He had a life to lead and she couldn’t be
making him wait for her.
This was good. Good for him. Good for her. She’d just be his sister and nothing
else. He’d date Jeyne, maybe marry her, and Sansa would maybe get back together
with Jon. She and Jon still talked frequently via text and email, and though
she missed him as her best friend, she didn’t miss him as her boyfriend. But,
maybe now she could be more open to him since Robb was obviously moving on.
Yes, this was for the best. It really was. Robb deserved to be happy, and with
Jeyne he could be open about his feelings. No running, no hiding, no lying and
scheming for alone time…
This was great. Fantastic even.
If only she didn’t feel like she was a giant wound that was bleeding out.
***** Chapter 22 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you all for reading and reviewing!
“Welcome to my humble abode,” Joffrey said with a smirk as he led Sansa through
the foyer that was as big as her bedroom, and down the hall with the shiny
hardwood floors and taupe walls. They passed through the kitchen that was as
big as the Stark basement with shiny appliances and a long counters that went
on forever. The Stark home was rather large – her father was an attorney and he
made good money – but the Baratheon home was a mansion.
Finally, they entered the living room and the cream shag carpet under Sansa’s
feet squished under her flip-flops. The walls were painted gold. The drapes of
the four windows each had a different colored curtain. To her surprise, it
worked. The couch was leather and red and long, the coffee tables were
mahogany.
“What do you think?” Joffrey asked. “Pretty sweet, right?”
Sansa didn’t want to tell him she thought his house was amazing. She had
already pretty much decided after two dates with Joffrey that she didn’t like
him at all. He was kind of a terrible person. He was rude to people he deemed
below him, so that meant the wait staff when they went out to dinner, and then
people that sold and tore their tickets at the movies. He was a dick.
So far, she’d been able to avoid going out with him too much. However, she
couldn’t put him off forever if she wanted to make it look good to her mother
that she was “dating” the popular boy. When she’d left that night, Robb had
hung back in the doorway to the living room looking at Joffrey as though he
wanted to rip him from limb to limb.
Sansa hadn’t been able to send him a discreet message not to worry. She was
going to Joffrey’s house, but his parents would be there. Nothing untoward was
going to happen.
Speaking of…
“So, where are your parents?” she asked him. “I’d like to meet them.”
“Oh, didn’t I tell you? They went out.” Joffrey smirked again. “We have the
house to ourselves. Would you like a beer? Some wine?”
“Uh, water?”
Joffrey rolled his eyes. “Are you straight edge or something?”
“No, I just don’t feel like drinking. I have a lot to do tomorrow and it just
makes me tired.”
He waved a hand dismissively as if he didn’t care and gestured to the large
black entertainment center against the wall. “The movies are inside the cabinet
in that. Pick one.”
He left to get them their drinks and Sansa went to pick a movie. A short movie.
She was already getting a bad feeling being here without his parents around.
God, what if Joffrey wanted more than a few kisses? Expected more?
Fucking hell, who was she kidding? Of course he expected more. Guys like
Joffrey always did. Frustration bubbled up inside Sansa. All she wanted to do
was go home and spend time with Robb. If only they’d been more careful she
wouldn’t have to be here with Joffrey, King of the Dicks.
She picked The Hangover to watch. It was funny and completely unromantic. The
lights dimmed and Sansa started and spun around to find Joffrey walking back in
the room, looking predatory as he looked her up and down. She’d dressed
modestly – a pair of jeans and a blue tank top – but somehow she felt naked
with the way Joffrey assessed her.
He placed her bottle of water down on the table and his beer and Sansa
immediately opened the bottle. Phew, okay, it had not been previously open, the
plastic had to pull apart still. That meant he hadn’t put anything in her
water.
She almost felt guilty thinking something like that about him, but then she
looked at him and how he licked his lips while looking at her and she didn’t
feel so bad anymore.
She sat down on the couch and curled her legs up to her chin, hoping to send
out the ‘Do Not Touch Me’ vibe. Joffrey put the movie in and sat down next to
her. The movie started and Joffrey sipped his beer quietly for a while.
Sansa relaxed. Okay, so maybe they would just watch the movie. Then, when it
was over, she would ask him to take her home. Maybe even fake a text from her
parents or something. She put her legs down and that’s when Joffrey pounced. He
pushed her back onto the cough and laughed. “Surprise!” he crowed. And then
kissed her – it was wet and sloppy just as his other kisses had been and Sansa
resisted the urge to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand.
“I thought we were going to watch the movie?” she asked with a light smile,
hoping she didn’t sound as tweaked out as she felt.
“Fuck the movie,” he said. He grinned. “Fuck me instead.” And then his hand
closed around her breast. Hard.
Oh hell no. Sansa pushed at him. “Joffrey, stop.”
“Why?”
“Because this is all wrong. You can’t just pounce on a girl and expect her to
give it up.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m the most popular boy at school. My parents are richer
than God. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Come on, Sansa, stop being such a
fucking prude and kiss me.”
Sansa turned her face away. “No.”
That was the wrong thing to say. The hand on her breast squeezed hard and she
cried out and looked at him. He slammed his lips down onto her and she bit him
until she tasted blood.
He cried out and reared back and Sansa attempted to crawl away from him. He
managed to backhand her across the face. Sansa saw stars. Get away, get away,
get away, her mind screamed as Joffrey grabbed her legs and attempted to pull
her to him. She kicked at him hard and he went falling back. Sansa scrambled to
her feet and ran out of the living room and into the first room she saw. She
slammed the door shut and used the light from the night light near the sink to
figure out how to lock the door. She then flicked on the lights near the door.
She heard Joffrey on the other side roaring at her, calling her every name in
the book and demanding she open the door. Sansa dug into her pocket and pulled
out her phone. With her hands trembling and fear running through her, she
speed-dialed Robb.
“Sansa,” he said. “Are you okay?”
“N-no, Robb, I need to get out of here. He-he just forced himself on me and h-
hit me.”
“WHAT?!”
“Can-can you come and g-get me? I’m in the bathroom, I locked myself in here,
but he’ll get in, I know he’ll eventually get in. Robb, help me.” She was full
out sobbing now. And Joffrey continued to rage and hit the door on the other
side.
“Sansa, listen, I want you to call the police, sweetheart. Can you do that?
Call the cops and tell them what’s going on—”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Robb? Joffrey’s parents practically own this
entire town. They’ll laugh at me and say it’s my fault and won’t do anything.”
Her eyes scanned the bathroom searching for something to help her. Something,
anything. Her eyes focused in on the window.
“Sansa, they won’t—”
“A window. There’s a window in here. I can climb out. Come and get me, will you
come and get me?”
“I’m already out the door and in my car. Just get out and run, Sansa, fucking
run like the hounds of hell are at your heels, okay?”
“Okay,” she whimpered.
“Put me in your pocket, sweetheart. Don’t hang up. Just put me in your pocket
and get out.”
Sansa did as he said and put her phone in her pocket. She went to the window
and pushed it open.
“I’m getting the fucking key, you fucking bitch!” Joffrey screamed. “You don’t
hit a Baratheon! I’ll make you pay, you stupid cunt! I’ll get you on assault
right after I beat your ass!”
Sansa was having a hard time breathing through her tears and the fact that she
had never been so scared in her life. She forced herself to steady her hand
enough to undo the screen to the window. It popped out onto the lawn and Sansa
hoisted herself up and then squeezed herself out. She landed on a heap on the
ground and scrambled to her feet. She pulled her phone from her pocket and put
it to her ear as she ran in what she hoped was towards the front of the house.
“I’m out,” she said. “I’m out and running…”
“Do you know where you are?” Robb asked.
“No, I don’t, this house is so fucking – oh, thank God. I see the driveway. I’m
going down to the driveway.”
“I’m almost there, sweetheart. Just keep running.”
Her feet pounded the ground hard and then the pavement once she hit it. She was
halfway down the long ass driveway when Robb’s car skidded to a stop at the end
of it. She kept running and then froze when she heard Joffrey scream, “YOU
BITCH!”
She looked over her shoulder in horror as he came running down the front
stairs.
“SANSA!” Robb shouted. “Let’s go!”
Sansa snapped into action and ran to Robb’s car. He had the door open for her
and she fell inside and slammed the door shut. Robb took off immediately. He
ran a stop sign.
“Where are you going?” she demanded. “This isn’t the way home!”
“We’re going to the police station, Sansa, and reporting him for attempted rape
and assault.”
“Robb—” She broke off when she happened to glance in the visor mirror and saw a
car with bright lights coming fast upon them. “Oh, fuck, he’s coming after us,”
she said and turned around. “Robb, he’s coming after us.”
Robb pressed down on the gas harder. He ran another red light. He took a turn
that made Sansa think the car would flip. She hadn’t put her seat belt on, but
she did now with shaking hands and checked to make sure Robb had done the same.
He had.
She turned to look behind them. Joffrey was gaining on them. She whipped back
around. “Find someplace else to—” This time, she broke off because Joffrey had
hit Robb’s rear end and the car lurched forward.
“Fuck!” Robb shouted.
This wasn’t going to end well, Sansa thought. Joffrey drove up beside Robb and
swerved into him and Sansa knew that this was it. They were going to die.
Robb’s car swerved and Sansa saw the tree coming right for them. She screamed.
Sansa woke with a start, her heart thudding hard in her chest. Her eyes darted
around the room. She was safe. She was safe. She was home and she was safe. She
felt a cold sweat on her forehead and she sat up in bed, gasping for air.
She needed to see Robb. She climbed out of the bed, her dream – the memory –
still fresh in her mind. It was late, everyone was in bed. Sansa was mindful
enough to be quiet, but she still felt the vestiges of her dream gripping her.
She felt the fear still. The thought that they were going to die ringing in her
mind like a bell.
She made her way down to the basement and pushed Robb’s door open. “Robb,” she
whispered urgently. “Robb.”
The light came on and a bleary-eyed, bare-chested Robb sat up in bed and
squinted at her. “Sansa, what are you doing?”
She broke down in tears. “I just remembered the accident. Joffrey attacking me,
me climbing out the window and you coming to get me. Him hitting us and the
tree, I can still see the tree—” She was in his arms then, his arms coming
around her, safe and solid and warm. Robb. Her Robb. She touched his face with
both hands. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
Robb gripped her hands in his. “Sansa, sweetheart, I’m okay. It was a long time
ago. I’m okay.”
She knew that of course. The accident was five years ago. She nodded and buried
her face in his neck.
“I never wanted you to remember that,” he said as he stroked her hair.
Sansa didn’t know how long they stood there holding each other. Sansa held him
tight, never wanting to let go. In time though, her muscles protested and her
hold loosened on him. Robb leaned back and held her face in his hands. His eyes
scanned her face as though trying to memorize it. “Are you okay?”
She put her hands over his and nodded. “It was a long time ago,” she said.
“Yes,” he said hoarsely. “I have nightmares about it from time to time still.”
“You do?”
He nodded.
“I’m sorry I woke you up,” she said. “It just freaked me out and—”
“I’m glad you did.” His eyes welled up in tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t go right
home. I’m sorry I insisted on going to the police station. If I hadn’t—”
“No, don’t. Don’t blame yourself. It was him, Robb. All him.”
“I never should have let you go out with him,” he said fiercely. “None of that
would have happened if I’d just done my duty—”
“Your duty? It was your duty to go out with somebody else?”
“Yes,” he said. “It was my duty to protect you at all costs.”
“You couldn’t have known, Robb. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
“But I do.” The self-loathing in his voice was sharp and it stung Sansa.
“I let you believe that he was nice,” she said. “I knew he wasn’t exactly a
good guy. I just… I didn’t want to see you with somebody else.”
“You remember all that?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Sansa, God, how could you think that anyone else…?” He pressed a kiss to her
forehead and let his lips linger there.
Sansa lifted her chin and he looked down at her. She leaned in, intent on
kissing him and he pulled back and shook his head. “No. Not when your mind is
clouded.”
She felt that rejection like a slap. “I need you, Robb.”
“You need me now, in this moment. But when the moment has passed, you’ll regret
it and we’ll be back where we were before.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry,
Sansa, but I can’t.”
She wasn’t sure he was right about that. She wasn’t sure about anything anymore
in regards to her feelings and what she wanted and what she was willing to
risk. Now that she remembered the accident she felt that second chance bit that
Robb had told her about before. With all they’d been through already, did their
second chance mean for them to be apart?
“Your mind is fuzzy right now,” he said. “You should go back to bed and try to
get some sleep.”
Sansa wasn’t sure if she could do that. She didn’t want to go back to her bed
alone. She wanted to be with Robb. She wanted his arms around her. She wanted
to hold onto him and never let him go. By some miracle they were both alive
after that horrific night and it felt like a waste for them to be apart.
She sighed. Maybe he was right. The memory was still fresh, it was late, and
she was tired. She nodded and stepped away from him, letting her arms drop to
her sides. “Good night, Robb.”
“Good night, Sansa,” he whispered.
Sansa made the trek back to her bedroom with heavy limbs. Once she got in her
room, she sat at her desk and opened her laptop. She brought up Chrome and put
in a search for what she would have to do to teach elementary school in the UK.
After that, she looked up what it would take to become an attorney in the UK.
When dawn broke, Sansa finally crawled back into bed and fell into a deep,
dreamless sleep.
***** Chapter 23 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sansa was making herself a late night snack of chocolate ice cream with almond
butter drizzled on top when Robb came in, his clothes rumpled and his hair a
mess. He stopped when he saw her and raked a hand through his curls.
“Hey,” he greeted her. “What are you doing up?”
“It’s Saturday night and it’s only eleven,” she said. There was some attitude
in her voice, but she didn’t really care. Sansa knew exactly what he’d been
doing and who he’d been doing it with. Her friends had giggled about how they’d
seen Robb and some Chrissy girl making out in the halls at school. It had stung
in ways she knew it shouldn’t, but she couldn’t stop it.
“Is everyone else in bed?” he asked as he took off his jacket. He didn’t even
notice her attitude. Typical.
“Yes,” she said, and put the lid back on the almond butter. Robb came around
the counter and attempted to dip his finger in her bowl and she slapped him
with the back of her spoon.
“Ow! What the fuck, Sansa?” Robb exclaimed.
She caught the whiff of perfume on him and hated him and that girl in that
moment. She pointed the spoon at him. “I don’t know where those hands have been
so lay off my ice cream.”
His whole expression dropped and now he just looked sad. “Right then,” he said
and headed for the stairs.
She thought she should feel guilty for giving him crap, but she didn’t. Not
really anyway. What she wished is that he hadn’t just fucked some girl. Some
girl that was just one of many in a long line of girls lately. She wondered if
he planned to make his way through every girl in his graduating class and then
some.
Sansa picked up her bowl and went into the living room. She plopped down on the
loveseat and turned on the TV. When Harry Met Sallywas on, so she settled on
that and dug into her snack.
Robb came down a ten minutes later and plopped down next to her. He was freshly
showered and smelled like soap. He wore a green t-shirt and gray sweatpants and
he put his feet up next to hers on the coffee table.
She looked at him in annoyance. “Really?”
“What?”
“Nothing,” she muttered.
“Why are you so pissy with me?”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m trying to watch the movie,” she said and stared straight ahead. “And go
away. Go on the couch or something.”
“What does it matter if I sit here?”
“I don’t want you to sit here. This is my dance space.” She pointed over to the
couch against the wall. “That’s yours.”
“Sansa, I can sit next to you if I want. Christ, did you get in a fight with
Arya and decided you hated everyone tonight?”
How did she tell him she was so jealous that he fucked some girl that didn’t
deserve him she couldn’t see straight? That she wanted to rip that girl’s hair
from her skull? That she wanted him to herself and wanted him to want her like
he obviously wanted that girl. How did she tell him all that?
Oh yeah. That’s right. She didn’t. Because he was her brother and she shouldn’t
be jealous about him being with a girl.
So, she said nothing.
Robb put his head on her shoulder and Sansa stiffened. His curls were wet and
it was making her t-shirt damp on the shoulder. “No matter where I go or what I
do, I’d always rather be home with you.”
“Liar.”
“No,” he said fiercely and gripped her arm. “You’re my most favorite person in
the whole world, Sansa. I’m more myself when I’m with you than anyone else.”
Sansa’s anger dissipated in an instant. She just wished he didn’t sleep around
so much…it hurt her every time he came home smelling like some girl. Yet it
wasn’t like she could stake any claim on him. He was her brother and that was
forbidden. Wrong. But when he sat with her like this, it felt like he was more
than her brother. It felt like he was her boyfriend.
This time when he went to dip his finger in her ice cream, she let him.
That was a much nicer memory compared to the one about the accident, but it
conjured up feelings that Sansa wished she didn’t have. Like jealousy.
Something she was currently grappling with.
A few days after remembering the accident, Sansa went to talk to Robb outside
on the deck and found him on the phone. She stood by the screen door where she
couldn’t be seen and eavesdropped.
“Hi, Talisa…” she heard him say.
Who the hell was Talisa?
“No, no, I don’t mind that you got my number from Jeyne.”
So did this mean he wasn’t seeing Jeyne? What the fuck was going on?
“Yeah, I’d like to meet you… I am free this weekend.”
Sansa walked away. She’d heard enough.
She really had no one but herself to blame for this. Of course Robb was going
to move on. She had pretty much told him that she didn’t want to love him, so
why wouldn’t he move on? What was there to wait for when she’d made it plain
that they were impossible?
Maybe she should call Jon…
He’d sent her a text the day before saying he’d missed her and could they talk?
She hadn’t replied.
She couldn’t seem to do anything but wonder what Robb was doing with Jeyne, and
now she had this Talisa person to wonder about. When she thought of Robb
touching someone else the way he’d touched her, she wanted to throw up.
Meanwhile, she’d been doing more research on what it would entail to move to
the UK. She’d looked up Visas, Green cards, and she’d looked up flats currently
for rent. She had a good chunk of change socked away- the benefits of living at
home and working for your father. She imagined that Robb had some money socked
away too. He had been saving for an apartment…
It turned out that it wasn’t as hard as she thought for him to be a solicitor
in the UK. And, it wouldn’t be hard for her to teach. There was paperwork to
fill out, there was always paperwork, and a few more things Robb would have to
do, but they were all doable when she broke it down in steps. Which she did.
Because she was a glutton for punishment, apparently.
It didn’t make sense that she’d shoved Robb away in one moment and then in the
next, she was researching how they could make a go of it. It’s just when she
looked at what her life would be without him…
Conceivably she could get married. Robb could marry, too – Jeyne or this
fucking Talisa chick. She’d have to see him love her, kiss her, maybe even
start a family with her. She should want him happy, right? She should wish it
for him and herself, but when she thought of having to endure a life without
his kisses and touches, without that same passion for another man that she felt
with Robb – could she live without those things?
Yes.
But she was pretty sure she’d die a slow death inside.
Now that she’d tasted that heat, that passion, and that love –
Wait.
Love?
But she didn’t…
Except that she did.
Oh, God. Sansa, you stupid girl. You’ve gone and done it now. You’re in love
with him.
And her heart whispered: You always have been.
Yes. She must have been. Even when she didn’t consciously remember it, her
subconscious had. And it had done everything in its power to remind her of it.
She loved Robb. She was in love with him.
She would have thought that was enough to give her wings – to fly after him and
stake her claim before she lost him forever. But it didn’t. She felt paralyzed
by it. Pre-accident Sansa seemed pretty good at taking leaps, but post-accident
Sansa wasn’t.
Sansa sat on her bed and stared blankly at the wall. She was in love with her
brother.
Now what?
xxxxxxx
When you want something bad enough, the universe conspires to help you get it.
Where had Sansa heard that before? She wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t so much
feeling that it was conspiring to help her get it as it was conspiring to force
her hand.
She could not sit on this indecision forever. Either she leapt or she moved in
some other direction, but this limbo business had to end.
Jon had given up on her. After her non-answer when he’d sent an appeal to talk
to her and she’d ignored it, he’d sent her a lengthy email telling her that
she’d hurt him terribly and right now, he couldn’t really be even her friend.
Jon had unknowingly become a casualty in her and Robb’s…whatever it was.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, now there was Robb standing before her, looking
all hot in a pair of dark jeans a t-shirt with some print on it, telling her he
was heading out. The whole family was out currently. Apparently, Catelyn was
pretty sure that nothing was going on with Sansa and Robb and so she felt more
comfortable these days leaving them unattended. Considering Robb was apparently
turning into a man-whore again it made sense, Sansa thought bitterly. He
couldn’t be thinking about Sansa while he was balls deep in someone else, now
could he?
“You don’t have to tell me you’re going out, Robb,” she snapped. “Just fucking
go.”
He gaped at her. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“You. You’re my fucking problem.”
“What the hell did I do now?”
“Who are you going to see today? Jeyne? Or the new woman, Talisa, I heard you
talking to?”
“You were listening in on my conversation.”
“Yes.”
He came in her room then. “Why?”
“I was coming to talk to you and I heard you on the phone. I stopped and
listened because I’m nosy. So, who is this Talisa?”
“She’s a woman that Jeyne has set me up with.”
“So you’re not seeing Jeyne?”
He shook his head. “She has a boyfriend. They have a friend that they thought
I’d get on with.”
“Great, that sounds great. Why don’t you just go and fuck her now?”
“Sansa, I’m not really liking this whole jealousy routine,” Robb said. “You
have Jon, remember?”
“Well, for one thing it’s not a contest and for another, no, actually, thanks
to you I don’t have Jon anymore.”
“What do you mean thanks to—”
“I pumped the brakes on Jon and me weeks ago. Like, before graduation.”
His brows furrowed. “You never said anything.”
“I wanted to use the time to think.”
“And?”
“And then Jeyne and Talisa!”
“Sansa—”
“And now Jon is tired of waiting for me so he just fucking dumped me. He’s
become a casualty already in this little song and dance you and I are putting
on. He doesn’t even know if he can be my friend anymore and it’s all your
fault!”
“How is any of this my fault?!” Robb shouted. “You don’t want me, remember? Oh,
no, wait. It’s not that you don’t want me, it’s just that you don’t want to
want me. I backed off because I thought that’s how you wanted it. I’ve been
trying to move on to make it easier for you and now you’re standing here being
a bitch to me and blaming me for something you wanted! Jon dumping you is not
my fault, though I’m sure it makes you feel better not to take any
responsibility for anything you’ve done—”
“I know it’s my fault Jon dumped me,” Sansa snapped. “And I’m well aware that I
pushed you away—”
“More like shoved.”
“I’m taking responsibility here, Robb, don’t push it.” She went to her desk and
opened the first drawer. “And guess what else I’ve been doing?” She pulled out
all the research she’d been doing and held them up. “Research.”
“On what?” he asked in confusion.
She thrust the papers toward him. “Look for yourself.”
He took them and started to shuffle through them. He looked up at her in
surprise. “Sansa, what – what does this mean?”
“Obviously it means I love you, you stupid jerk. And no, I don’t want to love
you, but that doesn’t mean I can stop it and it doesn’t mean that I want to
keep trying because I obviously can’t, it just means that I don’t want to love
you and want you because it would be easier if I didn’t—”
She stopped her tirade when Robb charged forward and took her face in his
hands. Good thing, too. She was running out of breath.
“Do you mean it?” he asked hoarsely. “That you love me?”
“Yes,” she said. “I do—”
“Say it. Say you love me,” he commanded. “Say it.”
“I love you, Robb. I’m in love with you.” Her eyes welled up in tears. “And I’m
so tired of fighting it and being without you. Living without you would be
infinitely worse than whatever we might have to do or face. I’m still afraid.
I’m still afraid of what could happen to us, but I don’t want to waste any more
time. Can you – can you be kissing me now?”
And he did. Sansa returned his fervent kisses with her own. She put everything
into the kiss – all the longing of the past few weeks, all her love – she put
everything right there in it so he could have no doubt of what she wanted and
what she felt.
She pulled at his shirt, pushing it up. Robb helped her discard it. And then he
was pushing her shirt up and helping her rid herself of it followed by her bra
He kissed her deeply as he undid the snap of her jeans. Hastily, she helped him
shove them down her legs and then kicked them off along with her panties. He
captured her lips again, and went to work on his jeans. Robb moaned as though
he couldn’t bear to stop kissing her as he broke their kiss long enough to push
his jeans and then his boxers down. He kicked them both off and then lifted
her. Sansa’s legs wrapped around his waist and he carried her to the bed where
they fell onto it as one beast.
He broke the kiss abruptly and gasped. “Condom. Fuck. I need to get a condom.”
“I’m on the pill,” she said. “Just don’t stop.”
“Sansa—”
“Robb, don’t stop. I need you inside me now. Please, it’ll be fine.” She wasn’t
above begging at this point.
“There’s no going back after this, Sansa. If we do this, this is it. I won’t go
away again.”
“I’ll never ask you to,” she whispered. “Please, Robb, please…”
Their eyes locked as he reached between them and placed himself at her opening.
Sansa resisted the urge to push herself down on him and just waited.
She didn’t have long to wait.
Robb slowly slid himself inside her and Sansa felt the enormity of this moment
rock through her. Robb must have felt it too. The look of awe and wonder and
love of his face stole her breath away.
“I’m home… I’ve come home,” he said.
She understood. She felt it, too. That feeling of completion. Of being exactly
where they both belonged – in each other’s arms, him inside her, her taking him
in…the world might not understand it, but Robb and Sansa did. Their hearts,
their souls, their minds and their bodies – they were made for each other.
Robb began to move. Sansa held on to him, her nails digging into his skin as if
afraid if she let go this would all be a dream.
This was what had been missing with Jon. The need to memorize every thrust he
made inside her. The hyper awareness of how her breasts felt rubbing against
his chest. How he gripped her hip as though he felt the same fear – that she
might fly off and this might not be real.
His other hand was at the back of her head, his fingers tangled in her hair.
Sansa gripped his hip with one hand and had the other on his shoulder. Their
eyes were locked on each other. Robb thrust hard into her and Sansa’s back
arched. His head fell and he licked at her neck and then kissed her there.
“I can’t get close enough,” he muttered.
“I know,” she whispered. It was exactly as she felt. He wasn’t close enough. He
was buried inside her and it still wasn’t enough.
His head bent to her breast and Sansa’s legs wrapped around his waist. He sunk
even deeper inside her. He moaned as he swirled his tongue around one breast.
“I’m going to come,” he gasped. “Too soon. God, no, too soon…”
“Robb, kiss me,” Sansa said desperately. He lifted his head from her breast and
she lifted her head to kiss him voraciously. They were going to swallow each
other whole, she thought. “I’m going to come,” she whispered.
“Me too,” he panted. “Come for me, Sansa, please…now…”
He reached down between them and rubbed her nub. She shattered around him and
grabbed her pillow to scream into it. Robb tossed it away from her face. “I
want to hear you,” he grunted. “I love the sounds you make. They’re all gone
and will be for hours yet. Scream, Sansa. I want it all. All of you.”
She screamed for him, just as he’d asked. Her walls clamped down on him and he
held himself inside her and came, crying out, chanting her name like a prayer.
He collapsed against her, holding her close. Sansa held him just as close, just
as tight.
“I love you,” she whispered against his forehead and ran one hand through his
curls. “I love you, Robb.”
When he lifted his head to look at her, his eyes were wet. He looked so happy
and so relieved and she laughed with pure joy before their lips met in another
passionate, heady kiss.
Chapter End Notes
     So, how was that? ;)
***** Chapter 24 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“I can’t stop touching you,” Robb murmured. They were laying on their sides
facing each other, propped up on their elbows. Robb ran his fingers across
Sansa’s exposed shoulder, down her arm, and over her hip.
“I don’t want you to stop touching me,” Sansa whispered back.
“Will you lay on your back for me?” he asked.
She smiled and rolled onto her back. “Now what?”
“Don’t move.”
She hadn’t planned on it. Starting at her collarbone Robb began peppering her
with kisses. He left them all over her collarbone and shoulders, down to the
tops of her breasts, and then finally, when he got to her breasts, he sucked
one in his mouth. Sansa moaned and tangled her fingers in his hair. Then he
pressed kisses on the path to her other breast and repeated the process.
He made a slow path down to her stomach where he peppered her ribs, waist, and
belly with kisses and then over her hips. When he got to her mound, he gave
that a lick which caused Sansa to make a keening sound of need in the back of
her throat. He continued leaving kisses on her thighs, her knees, her calves,
and when he got to her feet she moved them away. She hated feet.
Robb laughed and crawled over her. He was hard again and Sansa couldn’t take
her eyes off his long, hard cock. “See something you like?” he asked with a
grin.
“Very much,” she said and drew him down for a kiss.
Robb lay down atop her and Sansa spread her legs and encased his hips with her
thighs. She felt Robb’s cock rub against her and she made that keening sound of
need again in the back of her throat. He slid effortlessly back inside her and
they shared a moan.
With both his elbows down by her shoulders, Robb braced himself up so he could
look down at her. Then he pulled out of her depths and got up on his knees
between her spread legs. He took one knee in each hand and pushed her legs
back. He slid back inside her and she gasped.
“Am I hurting you?” he asked and pulled out.
“No, you’re just…deeper.”
He smiled and pushed back in. She gasped at the spot he reached within her and
clutched at his hips. “Faster,” she urged.
“As my lady wishes,” he said and started moving harder and faster, pushing her
legs back even further as he jackhammered into her.
Sansa’s mouth opened as she came, but no sound came out. She swore she saw
stars she came so hard around him.
“Fuck, I can you feel you tightening around me,” Robb muttered. Then he cried
out, “Sansa!”
Her legs gave way, dropping to the bed as Robb dropped on top of her. Sansa
wrapped her arms around him, the only strength she had left in her body.
“ M’ I too heavy?” Robb murmured against her neck.
“Don’t you dare move,” she told him.
He laughed softly. “I don’t plan on it.”
After a while he began peppering her face with kisses. “I love you,” he said
against her lips. “I love you, my Sansa.” And then he kissed her deeply. He
pulled his head back and gazed down at her. “Say it again.”
She smiled. “I love you, Robb.”
“Again.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
She laughed and pushed at him. “You’re going to get tired of hearing it!”
“No, never,” he said and kissed her again. He rolled onto his side then, taking
her with him. Their legs tangled together and Sansa rubbed her smooth ones
against his hairy ones. She liked the contrast of his body and hers. He was
man, all man. She could happily lay here entangled with him. She hadn’t felt
that with Jon. With Jon, she had just wanted to go home after.
“I’ve waited a long time to hear those words again,” he told her as he ran his
fingertips over her kiss-swollen lips. “I feared I never would again.”
Sansa reached up and ran one hand through his hair at the sides and then down
his jaw. His eyes stayed trained on her. “This reminds me of the first dream I
had when you came back,” she said.
“What was it about?”
“Just us, watching a movie in your room.” Her hand made slow, nonsensical
patters on his chest. She couldn’t stop touching him either. “We were holding
hands and you’d kiss my temple every so often, but it wasn’t even what we were
doing that stuck me with me after I woke, it was the feelings in them.”
“What were they?” he asked and kissed her forehead.
“So much love. It…it was like it was beaming from inside you to me and from me
to you. We didn’t even say anything, but I could feel it. I had never felt love
like that before.”
“Do you feel it now?” he asked huskily.
She looked up at him. “Yes. Do you?”
He smiled, stopping her wandering hand and pressing it to his heart. She could
feel it racing. “Yes.”
Sansa smiled and then glanced at the clock behind him on her nightstand and
groaned. “They’re all going to be home soon.”
Robb sighed and dropped his forehead to hers. “We’ll get up then…though I wish
I didn’t have to.”
“That goes without saying.” Her eyes went wide and she sat up. “Oh no! You
stood Talisa up!”
Robb laughed and pulled her back down to him. “Since when do you care?”
She smirked. “I can afford to care at least a little now. I got the guy.”
Robb’s smile fell and he placed his hand on the side of her face. “Sansa, you
always had the guy. If you thought for one minute that anything else was
possible for me…” He shook his head. “I said I was trying. That didn’t mean I
had any hope of actually succeeding. You’re it for me for forever, Sansa.”
“Same with me,” she murmured and kissed him. He bit softly down on her lip and
tugged on it, just the way he did once before and it drove her just as wild.
She wanted him again. But, it would not do for them to be caught like this. She
nudged him. “Get up. We can’t be smelling like sex when they all come home.”
Robb groaned, but got up out of the bed and began picking up his discarded
clothes.
“I’m taking a shower,” Sansa said as she finished picking up her own clothes
and headed to the bathroom.
“Are you trying to kill me?” he called after her.
The sound of her laughter floated through the closed door and Robb smiled,
truly smiled, for the first time in a long time. Sansa was his. And he was
hers. They’d finally made it.
He dressed quickly and padded out into the hall. He heard the shower going and
he couldn’t resist opening the door and ducking just his head inside. “Say it
one more time,” he said, his voice rising to be heard over the shower.
“I love you!” she laughed. “Now go!”
He laughed and barreled down the stairs. He needed a shower too, though
admittedly he was loathe to wash any part of Sansa off of him. It still didn’t
feel real to him, and keeping her scent on his body was a reminder that it had
happened and they were together again.
However…he would not take any chances. Strangely, now that Sansa was committed,
now that she loved him back and was irrevocably his, Robb felt the urgency of
keeping their relationship safe. Under no circumstances was he going to lose
her now.
xxxxxxxx
“Robb is seeing someone, isn’t he?” Margaery asked Sansa the following Monday
afternoon at work.
Sansa stopped sifting through the file she was currently going through for her
father and looked up at her friend. Margaery stood in front of Ned’s desk,
looking sadder than Sansa had ever seen her. She felt a pang of guilt for the
woman. And then her thoughts turned to Jon and how she had unintentionally hurt
him just as Robb had unintentionally hurt Margaery. Granted, the two were
different in a lot of way, number one being that Jon wasn’t an attention-
seeking obnoxious pain in the ass, but still.
“Uh, I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. Robb and I don’t really talk about his
dating life,” Sansa lied. Now her mind drifted to that morning when Sansa had
gone down to the basement to get a shirt from the dryer and had made a detour
to Robb’s room and woken him up with kisses. Her heart fluttered at the memory
of it, and how adorable and hot he’d looked sleeping without his shirt on.
She’d wanted him right then and there. However, they hadn’t been able to find
time to make love again and Sansa rather felt if they didn’t soon, she was
going to spontaneously combust. She could tell that Robb was feeling the same
way just by the heated looks he’d been giving her when no one was around. It
was as if he was undressing her with his eyes.
“That’s funny. You seemed to have a lot of sway when it came to me,” Margaery
said and Sansa heard the bite in her tone.
“He makes his own decisions,” Sansa told her.
It would be bad to tell her that he had been about to see someone else. Robb
had called Talisa that evening after he and Sansa had made love and had gotten
her voicemail. He told her a family emergency had come up and apologized. He
also told her that he wasn’t sure he was ready to date just yet and left it at
that.
“Jeyne will be upset,” Robb had told Sansa. “But I don’t care. I have you now.
Nothing else matters.”
Sansa had fallen in love with him all over again just for that.
“I’m trying to change,” Margaery said. “I am trying to be more like the kind of
woman he wants.”
“Margaery, you shouldn’t have to change who you are to get a man.”
“Robb is not just any man though. He’s special.”
And he’s mine, Sansa thought.
“There are other men in the world just as special,” Sansa said slowly. “Or at
least could be just as special.”
Margaery shook her head. “No. I want Robb. Help me, Sansa, please?”
Sansa inwardly sighed. What could she say? No? In Margaery’s state of mind,
which seemed fragile at present, she might flip the fuck out. “Sure. I’ll see
what I can do.”
Now Margaery beamed. “Thank you. If anyone can reach him it’s you. I’ve never
seen a brother so devoted to his sister. It’s sweet. Must have been hell when
boys came sniffing around though!”
Sansa laughed softly, a forced fake laugh. “I really don’t remember…”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right. The amnesia. That’s gotta suck.”
“To say the least,” Sansa said dryly.
Then Margaery went away and Sansa rolled her eyes. She went back to finding the
correspondence her father had asked her to find when Robb came in the room and
shut the door behind him.
“You have to stop right now,” he commanded.
Sansa looked up at him, eyes wide and her heart racing at the sight of him.
“Stop what?”
“Looking so fucking sexy,” he growled and came over to her. He bent down and
kissed her hard and quickly. “I want you so much I can’t think straight,” he
muttered against her lips.
“Oh, you have no idea,” she panted.
“Trust me, I do,” he said with a laugh. He straightened and sat down in the
chair on the other side of the desk. “How’s my girl?”
“I just spoke with Margaery…”
“Yeah?”
“She wants me to convince you to give her another chance.”
“You told her no, right?”
“No. I told her I’d try, but that we don’t really talk about your dating life.”
Robb snickered.
“Judging by the joy you seem to be exuding, I’m guessing that’s why she thinks
you’re dating someone. Maybe you want to take the happy down a notch or two or
twenty?”
“Impossible. If this was a musical I would be singing and dancing right now.”
She pointed at him. “I might actually pay to see that.”
Robb grinned at her.
“But seriously, please? I feel terrible enough as it is about her and Jon…”
Robb sighed. “For you, I will dial it down a notch.”
“Have you had a chance to look at the stuff I printed out?”
“Of course. I figure I might have to take a couple additional classes, but I
think overall I will be fine. What about you?”
“I think the same thing applies to me as well. My test is tomorrow and it looks
like I’ll be able to teach with that over there…”
“Of course there are other things we’ll need to get. Do you have a passport?”
“Yes. You?”
“Yes.”
Sansa looked at him with a mixture of hopefulness and fear. “We’re gonna do
this?”
“Yes,” he said. “We are. I don’t want to have to hide and sneak around and find
ways to be with you.”
“I don’t either.”
“We’ll have to talk more about it,” he said. “Make plans.”
“Yes.”
“But first, just focus on your test tomorrow, all right?”
She smiled. “Yes, sir.”
He got up and came over to her and kissed her quickly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Chapter End Notes
     Robb sleeping: [ photo richardmaddensirens_zpsclvalnlm.jpg]
***** Chapter 25 *****
“We’re gonna need a Plan B,” Robb said as he frowned at the papers in his lap.
He and Sansa were parked in the way back of a shopping plaza, well out of the
way of cars and people. It was also getting late, so a few of the shops were
closed already. Robb had left before Sansa, saying he was going to see Talisa.
Sansa had left an hour later saying she was going to the book store.
The book store bit hadn’t been a lie. They were technically at the bookstore.
Just in Robb’s car in the parking lot. They used the light of the streetlamp
nearby to pore over the research Sansa had done. Included in the stack now were
notes – scribbles about how much money they had when they pooled it together,
plus a list of “To Do” items of what they would need to do in order to move
overseas.
If they wanted to wait a few months to fill out all the paperwork plus find
jobs and a place to live, sure, they could do it. But neither one wanted to
wait that long.
Sansa sighed and rested her head on Robb’s shoulder. “My head is swimming. Plan
B – was there ever a Plan B?”
“In a manner of speaking,” Robb said. “Following the sequence of events we had
planned before, Plan A was California. Plan B was the UK. This just means Plan
B will be in lieu of Plan A.”
“So, California?”
“Is that where you want to go?”
“Don’t even,” Sansa groused.
He laughed. “What?”
“I need a definitive. My head hurts from all the stuff we just went over and
I’m feeling a little defeated right now.” She poked him in the ribs and he
grunted. “You’re supposed to have had this figured out!”
“I’m sorry to have let you down,” he said with a sigh, “but I’ve been kind of
busy with trying to figure out how to get you back…”
“Don’t make me feel guilty!” She poked him again in the ribs.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Let’s go to California. We can transfer to So Cal and
get what we need to make the transition to the UK. It won’t be forever.”
Sansa sighed. “Ok.”
“Don’t be upset.”
“It’s not fair.” Sansa pouted. “They make it look easy in the movies. Someone
gets sick of their life and they just pick up and leave.”
“And they always have someone they can stay with until they find the perfect
flat or house. Or, if not that then they always meet someone on the plane that
they instantly connect with and just so happens to have a spare room in a posh
neighborhood.”
“And they’re always in the right place at the right time and land the perfect
job.”
“With the perfect boss.”
“And then they meet someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with.”
Robb sighed. “Of course this being a Rom Com, because in my head that’s what it
is right now, there are these easily overcome silly obstacles and
misunderstandings.”
“Of course. However, if it was a horror movie they would end up in a hostel
where people would start dropping like flies and one night they’d wake up tied
to a gurney or a wheelchair and about to be sliced and diced. Or they’d do the
backpacking thing and be stalked across the countryside by some hatchet-faced
killer with an axe that wants to wear their skin.”
Robb laughed. “I’d prefer to think of our story as a Rom Com.”
“That sound great in theory, but no. Our story is a Lifetime movie…based on a
V.C. Andrews novel.”
“Who?”
Sansa patted his knee. “Don’t worry about it, honey.”
Robb kissed the top of her head. “Feeling better?”
“Meh.”
“What can I do to make you feel better?”
“You can twitch your nose and make us appear in the UK with our perfect flat
and perfect jobs.”
“I wish I could, sweetheart. We’ll get there. We will. California is a great
place—”
“I just feel like if there is an ocean between us and the family there is less
chance of them doing something to us.”
“I know. But listen, we can still have our names changed before we go. We can
legally do it. Robb and Sansa Stark won’t exist in California and therefore
won’t be able to be found.”
Sansa lifted her head off his shoulder and looked at him. “What will you change
your name to?”
“Well—”
“What about Kit?”
Robb made a face. “Kit?”
She laughed and sat back to get a good look at him. She narrowed her eyes
thoughtfully. “You look like a…Thomas? No. Jack? Hmmm, maybe. Oooh, what if we
made it fun like you changed your name to Clyde or Humphrey and I changed mine
to Bonnie or Lauren?”
“Sansa, I don’t think I’ll be leaving you with the job of changing our names,”
he told her.
“Oh, but think of how fun it would be to tell people our names were Bonnie and
Clyde! The how we got together story practically writes itself. If a Bonnie met
a Clyde how could she not want to date him?”
“Maybe she’d consider how Bonnie and Clyde ended up dead. Kit is suddenly
beginning to grow on me.”
“Don’t be a fun sucker! I was just starting to feel better. I know – Rhett and
Scarlett! What about Jack and Diane – see, Jack is coming up for you again so I
think that might be—oof! ”
Robb managed to stop her from continuing by pulling her onto his lap. He took
her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. “For now you’re Sansa and I’m
Robb, and I want to make love to you before we have to go back home,” he said
and slipped a hand under her skirt.
Sansa moaned when he managed to pull her panties to the side and find her clit.
Her eyes fluttered shut and she gripped his shoulders hard.
“You’re wet for me,” he practically purred as he slid one long finger inside
her.
“Robb,” she whimpered.
“God, I love it when you say my name like that. I want inside you…let me in,
Sansa…”
Sansa moved off his lap so that she could straddle him. She pulled up her skirt
and helped Robb undo his jeans. He lifted his hips and shoved his jeans and
boxers down over his knees.
With a mischievous smile, Sansa crouched over him, her knees on the floor of
the car, and took his cock in her mouth.
“Fuck!” Robb shouted. “Sansa, God…no. Stop, sweetheart. I’ve been ready all
day. I want to be inside you.”
Sansa let him fall out of her mouth with a pop and she climbed over him,
straddled him, and then sank down slowly on him.
“Kiss me,” Robb gasped and Sansa kissed him hard as she started to move over
him slowly. It took her a bit, but finally she found a rhythm that worked.
When he hit that sweet spot inside her, Sansa’s back arched and her head went
back. She gasped and started to pant as she moved faster and faster over him.
Robb nuzzled her neck and slipped his hands under her shirt. He flicked her
nipples with his thumbs over her bra and Sansa moaned. “Oh, God, Robb…”
“That’s it, sweetheart, that’s my girl…” he urged. “Ride me, Sansa. God, you
feel so good. So tight and hot and wet around my cock.” He gripped her hips and
guided her up and down on him.
“I’m…going to…” She came, hard, and dug her nails into his shoulders.
Robb followed her, his hips lifting off the seat as he pumped his seed inside
her. “Fuck, Sansa, yes, my Sansa, God yes…”
Sansa slumped against him, panting. “Car sex is hot.”
“I want you in a bed,” he murmured. “Spread out for me like a feast.”
She hummed in agreement, liking the sound of that. She could picture it, too.
“Hours and hours of just exploring each other,” she murmured.
“Yes,” he agreed hotly. “It will happen. It will.”
Sansa wondered if it was her own worries making her hear some doubt in Robb’s
voice. She wanted to ask him about it, but didn’t want to ruin the moment. Did
he doubt her? Or were there just too many variables that could blow their plans
straight to hell?
The though made Sansa shiver and she wrapped her arms around him and buried her
face in his neck. When his arms came around her, she felt somewhat better. In
his arms she felt safe. She felt stronger. It was them against the world.
“You okay?” he asked softly as he stroked her back with one hand.
“Just worried a little I guess.”
“Don’t be,” he whispered and kissed her shoulder. “It’s going to be fine. We’re
going to be fine.”
Sansa wasn’t sure, but it sounded like he was trying to not only convince her,
but himself too.
***** Chapter 26 *****
Sansa looked up as the front door opened and her mother came in, carrying a few
bags of groceries. Sansa got up to help her. “Any more in the car?”
Catelyn smiled. “Yes. And what perfect timing that both my children are here to
help!”
“I’m home alone,” Sansa said, brows furrowed.
“Your brother just got home. He’s grabbing some bags to help.”
“Which brother? I have three.”
“Robb.”
“Ah, okay then.” Sansa went to the door where all their shoes were in a pile
next to it and was about to slip on her flip-flops when Catelyn stopped her.
“Honey, I need to speak with you about something,” she said.
Sansa affected a nonchalant attitude – at least she hoped she was. Inside she
was a bit tweaked out. Was her mother onto her and Robb? Was she going to ask
her something Robb-related? Memory-related?
“What is it?” Sansa asked and went to the counter and busied herself in helping
her mother unload the bags.
“I ran into Jon at the supermarket.”
Fuck, Sansa thought. “Oh?”
“Yes, and I asked him why we haven’t seen him around much and he said because
you two broke up.”
Sansa shoved some canned goods in the cabinet and turned around. Catelyn was
watching her expectantly. “Yes,” Sansa said. “We broke up.”
“May I ask why?”
Robb came in the door then and stopped when he saw Sansa and Catelyn looking at
each other. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked.
“Sort of,” Catelyn said. “Are there any more bags, honey?”
Robb placed the bags in his hand on the counter. “Nope. That’s it. Is, uh,
everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” Catelyn said. “But do you mind giving me and your sister a
few minutes alone?”
Robb nodded and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Of course.”
He strode away without looking back and Sansa had to stop herself from watching
him go. It was pathetic, really, how addicted she was to him.
“I wasn’t…feeling it,” Sansa said. “I liked Jon better as a friend than as a
boyfriend.”
“You looked so happy at the company picnic,” Catelyn said.
Sansa shrugged. “I guess…I just liked being Jon’s friend better. There wasn’t
any…chemistry.”
“Sometimes chemistry is overrated.”
Sansa effected a laugh. “Mom, are you telling me that I shouldn’t want to be
with someone that makes my heart race?” And oh boy, does Robb make my heart
race, she thought.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying…well, I guess in a way, but no. You should be
with someone that makes you feel excited and makes you get butterflies in your
belly.”
Robb does both, Sansa thought.
Catelyn sighed. “I suppose I just got excited that you were dating someone.
Previous to Jon, you hadn’t shown any interest in it since after your
accident.”
Sansa shrugged. “I’m not averse to the idea. I just hadn’t meant someone that
got my motor revved.”
“Why did you keep it from us?” Catelyn asked. “I mean the fact that you two
broke up.”
“Because I know how much you like Jon. At first I just thought I wanted a break
to figure stuff out and didn’t really want to get into it with anyone because I
knew how much you all liked him. But then Jon got tired of waiting for to
figure stuff out and was actually the one to officially end it.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to be friends again?”
Doubtful, Sansa thought sadly.I will probably never see him again. “I’m sure in
time,” she said. “I think he just needs a little more time than I do to
process.”
Catelyn sighed and pulled a carton of eggs out of one the reusable bags. “Well,
I’m very sorry to hear about this, Sansa. And I wish you would have said
something. If you didn’t want to talk about, we didn’t have to talk about it.
It’s just nice to be kept abreast of what’s going on. I felt like a bit of a
fool when Jon told me you’d broken up.”
“Sorry.”
“Meanwhile, your father tells me that Margaery has completely done a one-eighty
at work. He says she’s become quite reserved these days. Do you know if this
has anything to do with your brother?”
“It totally does,” Sansa said with a roll of her eyes. “She’s completely
obsessed with getting him back. It’s kind of gross.”
“Gross? How so?”
“Well, because she’s trying to completely change herself for him. You should
never do that for a guy. And how she is trying to change herself is very un-
Margaerey like. It won’t last.”
Catelyn smiled and nodded. “I see. Very wise of you, by the way. You are right.
One should not change themselves so drastically to be with someone. Compromises
are expected, but not to the point that you lose who you are.”
“Exactly. They were all wrong for each other anyway. Margaery is a bit too wild
for Robb. Plus, she was way inappropriate when we went on that double date. She
groped him in public and it was just embarrassing.”
Catelyn cocked her head to the side. “I wonder when we’ll meet the new girl.”
How about never, Mom? Does never work for you? Instead of saying this, however,
Sansa just shrugged. “Who knows? It’s still new and all anyway. Maybe he
doesn’t want to bring her around the madness just yet.”
Her mother laughed. “What are you trying to say, Sansa?”
“The Stark family is nuts?”
“I suppose we are, but a good kind of nuts, right?”
Sansa smiled as she popped open a carton of strawberries and popped one in her
mouth before closing it and putting it in the fridge. “Of course.”
“So, you and Robb seem to be getting along well…”
Sansa looked at her in confusion. “Are we not supposed to be getting along?”
Play it cool, Sansa, play it cool…
“No, it’s just that when he returned home it seemed a bit awkward between the
two of you, but that you were trying to get to know each other.”
“Well, yeah, that’s exactly it. I didn’t really remember him all that much so
it was like getting to know a stranger. A stranger that is actually your
brother.”
“And now?” Catelyn asked curiously.
“I think I accept him as my brother,” Sansa said with a laugh.
“Have you remembered anything about him…?”
“Not really,” Sansa said with a shrug. “At the park I remembered us playing on
the swings and in the sandbox, but nothing else.”
Catelyn frowned. “You didn’t tell me about that.”
“I didn’t?”
“No. Does Robb know?”
“Yeah, I think I told him…it was just a flash of it, like a movie in my head. I
wasn’t feeling all that great that day anyway so…yeah.” Sansa gathered the bags
and placed them atop the fridge. “I’m gonna go sit outside and read for a
while.”
Catelyn smiled. “It was nice to have this talk, honey.”
Sansa smiled and hurried off to her room. She sat on her bed and went over the
conversation with her mother a few times in her head, looking for any place she
might have said something wrong, might have given her mother something to be
suspicious about. She came up with nothing, but would still run it by Robb
later and see if he thought there was any cause for concern. Simple, innocuous
conversations about her love life and Robb were now fraught with possible land
mines and cause for second-guessing.
Her mind raced ahead to when she and Robb were together and away from the
family and she felt equal parts fear and relief. She feared the fallout, she
really did. And sometimes she felt torn in half with wanting to stay and
wanting to go. Yet in moments like she just had with her mother, she knew they
had no other recourse but to go. She longed to be free to be with Robb without
having to lie and cover their tracks, and be several steps ahead all the time.
It was exhausting and hard. And like now, when all she wanted to do was find
where Robb was and just be with him, she couldn’t.
And yet she feared what would happen to their status within the family. Would
they be disowned? If so, would there be a chance for them to ever return? Could
she live with it if their family turned their backs on them? What would happen
if something went wrong and they needed help? Or what if something happened to
their parents or their siblings – would she and Robb be told?
So many fears and doubts ran through Sansa’s mind and she wished not for the
first time that she had someone to talk to about it. Robb was ever the optimist
and it annoyed her sometimes that he didn’t seem to have the same concerns and
worries. Or if he did, he wasn’t sharing them with her.
With a sigh, Sansa grabbed her book of her nightstand and headed outside in the
hopes that Robb would be out there, or at least find his way to her.
xxxxxxxx
“Sansa, the Greyjoy’s came over and Mom and Dad both had wine. You know they
are out for the count,” Robb said later that night when Sansa had crept down to
the basement to see him. She was sitting on his bed, her eyes peeled to the
door and Robb was trying to coax her into relaxing.
It wasn’t working.
“It’s just that with her asking me questions earlier…” she murmured.
Robb wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her into him. She leaned into him
and closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he
murmured back. “She probably was fishing a little bit, but you gave nothing
away.”
Sansa closed her eyes and placed her hand over his heart. “Robb, do you ever
think about what it will be like if we go and Mom and Dad disown us?”
She felt him stiffen a bit and then he sighed and said, “Yes.”
“Does it scare you?”
“I have more or less come to the conclusion that it’s a distinct and very real
possibility. I’ve prepared for it.”
She lifted her head and looked at him, her hand dropping to her lap. “Is that
something you can really prepare for?”
He looked grim. “No.” He then reached up and tucked some hair behind her ear.
“But the alternative…what else can we do, Sansa? Being without each other is
not an option. Doing more of this – this sneaking around and listening for
footsteps and going over conversations again and again…Is that what you want?”
“No,” she mumbled. “It’s just that I can’t help but have my fears and doubts.
They are our family and this is such a big step. What if we run out of money?
What if we end up homeless?”
“That will not happen, Sansa.”
“How do you know that?”
“I won’t let that happen to us.”
“Robb, stop. You can’t dig your head in the sand.”
“I’m not,” he said a bit tersely. “I think about these things, too. I do. I
just don’t want to voice them because I know that you’re already thinking them.
What is the point in both of us stressing about them? Nothing will get
accomplished. I want solutions and answers, not problems.”
“So you’re saying I’m the one bringing the problems and your job is to come up
with the solutions to them?” She shook her head and got up off the bed. “I’m
not sure how I feel about that.”
“I’ve had time – a whole other round of this – to get accustomed to the idea.
I’ve also had the abject fear of never having you back to contend with. I’ve
been away from home—”
“But you had Mom and Dad still. You knew if you needed them they’d be right
there to help you. This time they might not be.”
“Worst case scenario, no, they might not be. Sansa, we will figure things out
as we go. We’re both intelligent people; we will figure it out. Sometimes
people leave home and they’re disowned for a myriad of reasons. They don’t all
end up on the streets.”
She sighed. “Okay, you may have a point.”
He laughed softly. “Well, gee, thanks.”
“But I still don’t like that I’m the one that thinks up all the problems.
Remember I did print out all that information to begin with.”
He nodded. “Yes, I know. I didn’t mean to make it sound as it did. I just know
you have a tendency to get stuck in the loop of worrying at times.”
“Well, you know it would be nice if you worried with me and together we found a
way to sort it out. You see what I did there? I made it all very couple-y to
have us work through problems together. Because that’s what couples do.”
Robb was grinning as he got up and came over to her. He leaned in and kissed
her softly. “Yes, dear. We’ll work on our worries together.”
“And the ‘yes dear’ has already begun,” she said with a little laugh and pushed
at him.
“Hey, what are you guys doing in here?”
Sansa and Robb both turned to find Arya pushing Robb’s door open. She stood in
the doorway looking half asleep. Sansa’s heart was pounding so hard in her
chest she almost couldn’t breathe. She felt as though everything was happening
in slow motion as she checked the distance between her and Robb. No, they
weren’t standing too close. Granted, now Robb was moving away from her and
going for the remote for his TV on the nightstand.
“Just having a chat,” Robb said nonchalantly while Sansa wondered if it was
possible to have a heart attack from this. “What’s up?”
Arya shrugged. “I came downstairs to see if one of my shirts was down here and
heard voices. Everything okay?” She looked right at Sansa then.
Sansa nodded and forced herself to smile. “I was just telling Robb about Jon.”
“What about him?” Arya asked.
“Oh, we broke up.”
Arya frowned. “That totally sucks. I really liked Jon.”
“Yeah, everyone did,” Sansa muttered.
“Who dumped who?”
“Well, I wanted a break, he got tired of waiting and then he dumped me.”
“Why did you need a break?” Arya asked.
“I just wasn’t, ya know, feeling it.”
Arya shrugged. “I get that. I mean, maybe it was just hard to date your
friend?”
“Exactly,” Sansa said. This was the most her and Arya had ever talked civilly
to one another. It was weird. “Anyway, I’m going to head up to bed. Night,
Robb. Night, Arya.”
“Night, Sansa,” Robb said.
Sansa waited for Arya to follow her up, but then she didn’t and so Sansa went
up to her bedroom and shut the door. She sat on her bed and buried her face in
her hands. Holy fucking shit. That had been close. Too close.
And now Sansa was back on Team Let’s Leave and Make it Soon.
***** Chapter 27 *****
Chapter Notes
     I made this for inspiration purposes.
      

     [ photo robbxsansa_zpsaukyffhq.jpg]
The lack of places to spend time together was becoming a nuisance, as was the
lack of time. Quick kisses at the office and quick kisses in the basement were
no longer cutting it, and while car sex was hot, Sansa wanted a bed. And time.
Long lengths of time. She also just wanted to be able to hold Robb’s hand or
just touch him in some way without it being a huge ordeal.
But opportunity barely presented itself, and Sansa wondered how in the world
they ever found time before. She supposed that they didn’t have to be as
careful with every move they made and every word said when everyone just
thought that it was normal and perfectly fine for a brother and sister to go to
the park together. Or to the movies together. Or for Robb to hang out in her
room and vice versa. But now…now everything had to be planned and thought out
and Sansa was so frustrated she wanted to cry.
Steps were being made for their move, but it just wasn’t going quickly enough
for Sansa’s liking. Robb wasn’t into social media so he didn’t have to take
himself off Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram the way Sansa did. Nor did he have
to explain to Arya, Bran, and Rickon that she was just tired of social media
and needed a break. She couldn’t tell them that if anyone ever looked up a
Sansa Stark online they could easily discover she was related to a Robb Stark,
and that would be bad for their plans in California and, one day, abroad.
She also settled on a name: Alayne Stone. It was completely at random how she
chose it, too. She flipped open a book of names at the library and opened to a
random page that led her to Alayne. A book about hiking with a cairn gave her
the idea for “Stone”.
“It makes more sense for me to change my name than for you,” Sansa told Robb
when he asked her about it. They were in the parking lot of the bookstore
again. Robb was supposed to be hanging out with Jeyne, her boyfriend, and
Talisa, while Sansa was going to the bookstore. Everyone knew she could be a
while at the bookstore. At least until closing, which was in an hour.
Robb was sitting up in the back with Sansa’s legs draped over his lap and
against the door.
“Well, and you don’t have to do it legally unless it becomes an issue,” he told
her and then whipped out his phone. “Now let’s take a look at some apartments,
shall we?” Sansa nodded and moved so that she was sitting beside him.
They were making strides, but Sansa felt like the longer it took then perhaps
the more time she would have to rethink this decision of leaving their family.
She found herself watching her siblings and parents and filing certain things
away in her memory, such as the way her father laughed. The way her mother
smiled. The way Arya rolled her eyes over almost everything. They way Bran got
really excited about playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends, and how
Rickon pored over his superhero comic books.
She knew that she and Robb had to do this because being without him was out of
the question. Robb was her other half, and she wouldn’t feel complete without
him. And spending her life sneaking around and lying to everyone wasn’t how she
wanted to live her life. It was just that their decision wasn’t without its
complications, nor was it without a whole different set of heartbreak.
There were times she woke up in the dead of night and thought she could not
possibly leave her family. Then she’d see Robb and think that she couldn’t be
without him one more second, never mind for the rest of her life.
Yet despite her promise to discuss those things with him, she didn’t. She kept
them bottled up and instead focused on what they needed to do to get to
California. Between Catelynn finding out about Jon, and their close call with
Arya, Sansa felt as though their luck was winding down.
Robb had noticed a difference in Sansa since they’d begun planning their
escape. She was on edge, and it wasn’t just because of a couple close calls. He
knew she was grappling with the notion of leaving the family for possibly
forever. He wanted to help her and ease her mind, but he felt that he didn’t
really know how. He was afraid to indulge her fears because he was afraid she
would then decide that no, she couldn’t go through with this. Yet he felt like
the biggest asshole on the planet for not trying to talk to her about. He had
said he would, but then he didn’t.
Now, as they pored over the apartment listings he’d saved for them to peruse,
he felt like he should say something, tell her that if she wanted to talk to
him about her fears and the sadness she must feel when it came to actual
leaving, she could tell him all about it. But then she got excited about one of
the fully furnished apartments he’d found and he got distracted.
xxxxxxxx
Robb ran down the stairs to his bedroom to change and to check his email about
a few of the apartments he and Sansa had inquired about, when he stopped dead
in his tracks.
He blinked.
He stared.
He blinked again.
Margaery wiggled her fingers in a wave. “Surprise.”
Robb looked around, though he wasn’t sure why. Was this some kind of joke? Was
one of his siblings setting him up? “Did someone let you in?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Who?”
“Me. I know where the key is.”
“Robb, are you down there?” Sansa was home.
“I am,” he called up to her. “And I’m not alone.”
She came running down the stairs and when she came in his room she was smiling.
She reached for him and then stopped abruptly when she saw Margaery.
Margaery furrowed her brow, clearly not knowing what to make of Sansa’s
actions. Sansa stared at her. “What the fuck are you doing here?” she demanded.
“I needed to talk to Robb….alone,” Margaery said.
"Margaery let herself in using the spare key," Robb muttered.
Robb had been aware that Margaery had been acting differently since their
split. She’d been more subdued. Had started dressing a bit like a school marm,
and was unfailingly polite to him, yet with a coating of super sweetness that
he found nauseating. He’d been very careful not give her any kind of
encouragement, but it seemed Margaery didn’t really need any.
Sansa folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not leaving. You let yourself into
our house without asking and showed up in Robb’s bedroom? I don’t think so,
Fatal Attraction. You just crossed a major line.”
“I couldn’t get Robb to talk to me any other way,” Margaery said calmly. It was
the sort of calm just before someone snapped though and Robb turned to Sansa
and put his hands on her shoulders.
“Sansa,” he said. “Let me talk to Margaery alone.”
Sansa dropped her arms and gaped at him. “Have you lost your fucking mind?
Batshit McGee just let herself into our home, Robb. We’re lucky we don’t have
rabbits or she’d be boiling one!”
“Sansa, I got this,” he said firmly.
She shook her head and went to the door. “Fine, but I’m getting a knife ready
just in case.” She glared at Margaery in warning before she left.
Robb turned and looked at Margaery who was now crying. He sighed. “Margaery,
Sansa is right. Letting yourself into our house was crossing a line. How did
you even get in?”
“I know where the spare key is,” she replied. “Just tell me what to do to get
you back, Robb!” she wailed.
“I’m not sure how else to say it, Margaery. We’re done. I don’t want to date
you, and I know you’re trying to change for me, but you really shouldn’t do
that. Not for any guy. Someone out there is going to love you just as you are.”
When Margaery left an hour later after more tears, some begging, and a few
outbursts, Robb felt completely drained. He closed the front door, locked it,
and heard Sansa running down the stairs. She stopped in the doorway and arched
a brow.
“Batshit McGee?” he asked.
She shrugged. “It just came to me.”
Robb rubbed his forehead and tossed the spare key on the table. “I don’t think
we’ll be putting that out for a while…”
“Are you going to tell Mom and Dad what she did?”
“I don’t know…I feel sorry for her.”
“Why?” Sansa asked incredulously.
“Because she thought I was one of the good guys. She took my complete lack of
interest as just wanting to get to know her as a person and being shy. I led
her on when I knew there was never any hope for her.”
“Okay, I get that. I felt sorry for her too, but that was before she let
herself into our house!”
“If she lost her job over this I’m afraid it would get worse.”
Sansa threw up her hands. “You’re hopeless.”
“Besides, we’re going to be out of here soon anyway.”
Sansa sighed. “Are we?”
“Yes. Come on, I was just about to check my emails regarding the apartments we
asked about.”
“Okay,” she mumbled and started to head towards the basement door. Robb caught
up to her before she headed down and pulled her into his arms. “It’s going to
be okay, sweetheart,” he murmured.
“I don’t believe you right now,” she said.
He lifted her face to his with his finger under her chin. “Talk to me.”
She shook her head and pulled away. “No, not right now.”
Well, he tried right?
***** Chapter 28 *****
If things before were going too slow for Sansa, now they were going too fast.
She had barely blinked and suddenly she and Robb had found an apartment
(furnished) and they’d paid first and last already, he had a lead on a job,
they’d begun the process of applying to Southern California University, and
they’d purchased their plane tickets.
They’d purchased their plane tickets.
They were leaving exactly two weeks from that moment. Sansa stared at the
confirmation in her hands and could barely believe it.
Robb placed a hand on her knee and she jumped. “Whoa, whoa. You okay,
sweetheart?”
It was one of those rare times when they were alone in the house. They were up
in her room for a change. They had a perfect view of the driveway so if anyone
was to pull in they would know.
Currently they were at her desk, both in chairs of their own. Robb had put the
one-way tickets to San Diego on his credit card. Sansa had sat pressed against
his side and watched him do it with her heart racing.
This was happening. This was really happening.
She looked at him and nodded. Words failed her. And then she looked around her
bedroom, her bedroom of twenty-three years (even if she didn’t always remember
it) attached to the only home she’d known. Tears sprang to her eyes and she
thrust the paper at Robb and sprang to her feet. She started to pace. She just
needed to move and to think and to move.
“Sansa,” Robb said calmly.
She really hated it when he did that. Why couldn’t he ever freak out like she
did? Why couldn’t he join in the freaking out instead of being so fucking calm
all the time?
“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m fine. I’m just…I mean, it’s happening. It’s really
happening.”
“We have been planning for this.”
“Thank you from the file marked Duh.”
“Sansa—”
“Listen, I know we’ve been planning this, but now it’s here and it’s happening
and I’m…”
“Regretting it?”
She stopped and looked at him. “No.”
“Then?”
“I’m scared. I’m scared of what’s going to happen when we leave. Of how it’s
all going to shake out. Will we still have a family or when we leave…is that
it? I mean, Arya and I aren’t the best of friends but I can’t imagine not ever
seeing her again…yelling at her again. And Bran and Rickon and how they’ll grow
up and what kind of men they’ll be…”
She was full out crying now and Robb got up and pulled her into his arms. “I
know,” he whispered.
“Do you? You don’t seem to care.”
“I do, but I can’t focus on that right now. Right now I want to focus on
getting us out of here. Then I want to focus on how we’ll tell Mom and Dad.
Then the fallout from there.”
“Do you have doubts?” she asked and looked up at him.
“I have some worries and sadness, but not very many doubts.” He reached up with
one hand and cupped the side of her face. “I want to see this face every day
when I wake up and every night before I go to bed. I was without you for five
very long years so I know what the alternative is already. Just like you I’m
tired of sneaking around and making up stories and lies. I’m tired of hiding,
Sansa. I want to be with you out in the open. I want to be with you and not
worry if this is the time Arya walks in on us and we can’t explain it away, or
Mom starts wondering if something is going on and looks for ways to catch us.”
He leaned in and kissed her. “I haven’t made love to you in weeks.”
Sansa kissed him hard, all too aware of how long it’d been since they’d been
intimate. It was hard to find time and opportunity, and she ached for him.
In the next instant they pulled at each other’s clothes, and lips and teeth
clashed in hungry, needy kisses. Sansa had the brief thought that this was
perhaps risky, but then Robb pushed her over her desk, his lips trailing down
her back and his cock nestled between her ass and she didn’t care. She just
wanted him.
“I love you,” he said hoarsely as he thrust inside her.
Sansa gasped and threw her head back. She whimpered. “Oh, Robb…”
It was hard and fast and though satisfying, Sansa still ached for more. She
wanted time; there was never enough time.
Robb pulled out of her and pulled her up and into his arms. He kissed her
fervently, his arms wrapped around her tightly. “Soon,” he whispered, as though
he had read her thoughts.
“Do you think it will always be like this?” she asked quietly.
“Five years couldn’t cool my love for you, Sansa. I can only imagine what being
with you the way I want will do.”
Her lips curled into a smile. “Fan the flame more, perhaps?”
“My vixen,” he whispered and kissed her hard. “Imagine it,” he said against her
lips. “Sleeping in the same bed—”
“Me pushing you away because you’re a furnace,” she teased.
He laughed. “Waking up next to each other in the morning.”
“Making you brush your teeth before you kiss me.”
He poked her lightly in the ribs and she laughed. “You’re a brat,” he said.
She smiled at him sweetly. “And you love me anyway.”
His expression turned solemn. “I love you so much that sometimes I can’t
breathe for it.”
She nodded; she understood. It was the same for her. “Good thing we’re going
away then, huh?” she said. She meant for it to sound light and airy, but it
came out shaky.
“I know you’re scared,” he said. “Lean on me, okay? Let me take some of the
burden.”
Sansa placed her chin on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “I’ll be fine; I
promise.”
Robb did say it aloud, but he worried. What would he do if she changed her
mind? What would become of them then?
xxxxxxxx
The next two weeks went by in a blink. During that time Robb worried more and
more that Sansa was going to change her mind. She spent their last two weeks
spending more time than she ever had with the family and when Robb saw the
worry and sadness in her eyes he tensed. He felt as though he’d spent those
last two weeks bracing for the moment she’d tell him she couldn’t do this.
But she didn’t.
And now it was the day.
Robb had told his father he had some things to do before classes started in the
fall that day, and Sansa had simply taken a vacation day to run a few errands.
Robb had even made a big show of leaving. He’d gone to get a few last minute
things for their trip, and when he’d returned and it was just him and Sansa
alone, they packed quickly – mostly clothes, but they did fill a few boxes with
personal items. Basically anything that would fit in boxes in the back of their
cars is what they took. They’d made arrangements with a company that would ship
both their cars to California to meet them at the airport.
Sansa was quiet. Too quiet. She moved as though on auto-pilot and with each
minute that passed, Robb worried more and more that they would get to the gate
to board the plane and she would back out. He was terrified of it happening, so
terrified he couldn’t even speak the thought out loud in fear of making it
happen somehow. On the way to the airport he kept checking his rearview mirror
to make sure she was still behind him.
Everything is going to be fine, he told himself. Sansa loves me, and she wants
us to be together. It’s going to be okay.
xxxxxxxxx
Catelyn arrived at home in the afternoon and started to make tea, first thing.
It wasn’t often she had the house to herself, so she was going to capitalize on
that by curling up with her book on the deck and sipping her tea.
She had just gotten her tea prepared when there was a knock at the door. She
sighed and went to answer it, and was pleasantly surprised to see Jeyne
Westerling on the other side. “Hello, Jeyne,” Catelyn greeted her. “Looking for
Robb?”
Jeyne smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I haven’t seen him in a while.”
Catelyn furrowed her brow. “What do you mean? Didn’t you just see him a few
days ago?”
Now Jeyne looked confused. “I haven’t seen Robb in almost a month.”
“He’s been dating your friend though,” Catelyn said. Was the girl sick or
something? “You’ve been on double dates.”
“I’m not sure what he told you, Mrs. Stark, but he’s not dating Talisa. They
didn’t even go out on date one.”
Catelyn heard a roaring in her ears. “Excuse me, please,” she said hastily and
shut the door before practically running down to Robb’s bedroom.
“Oh God,” she breathed when she saw how stark the room was of his things. She
then ran up to Sansa’s room. It was the same. She sat down on Sansa’s bed and
knew. She knew it. She got up on shaky legs and started to leave the room to
get to a phone when she saw a piece of paper with the logo of Delta Airlines on
it. She picked it up.
Robb and Sansa were leaving for California in an hour.
Catelyn stuffed the paper in her pocket and ran to the car, hoping she had
enough time to stop them.
***** Chapter 29 *****
Chapter Notes
     A treat! The next chapter :)
Their cars and belongings were on their way and after checking in at the
airline desk, checking their baggage, and going through security, they were
sitting together and waiting for their flight to be announced. Robb took
Sansa’s hand as they sat together and she squeezed his hard.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Thirsty?”
She shook her head again.
Robb leaned in closer to her and whispered in her ear, “Sansa, talk to me,
please.”
“I’m just…thinking.”
“About…?”
“Just everything.”
“Can you give me a for example?”
“I’m thinking about the moment when they realize we’re gone. I’m wondering what
Mom will tell them. What she’ll tell Dad. I’m thinking about how long it will
take for our cars to arrive. I’m wondering if I’ll find a job and if you’ll get
the job you’ll be interviewing for. I’m wondering about the furniture in the
apartment and the apartment itself – will it not be like the pictures at all?
Will it be gross? I’m wondering if Arya or one of the boys will move into my
bedroom now or if they’ll keep it just the way it is like in the movies when
someone dies.” Tears started to fall from her cheeks then. “I’m thinking I hope
I don’t get airsick and I hope they show a good movie. I’m thinking about Dad
going to court next week for that case he’s been working on and if there is a
way to find out how well he did.”
“Sansa,” Robb said, and turned in his chair so he could wrap his arms around
her. His voice was thick with emotion and he felt tears of his own sting his
eyes. She leaned into him as he held her and buried her face in his shoulder.
“Do you want to go back?” he murmured.
“What would happen if we did?”
“I…I’m not sure I can,” Robb said, his heart shattering in his chest. He fought
the urge to crumble right there. He was losing her all over again. He couldn’t
live through it this time. “If they know by now, or if they’re piecing
together…I might not be able to go back.”
“Flight 182 to San Diego is boarding now,” came the voice over the intercom.
Sansa froze. Robb did too. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His chest felt
constricted and his hands were shaking. Was this it? Was this where he lost
her?
Sansa pulled back and looked at him. “It’s time to go.”
“Are you sure?” he forced himself to ask.
She nodded, but she didn’t meet his eyes. They stood and grabbed their carry-
ons and Robb put one foot in front of the other and held onto Sansa’s hand so
tight she told him he was crushing it. He loosened his grip, but refused to let
go.
The walk to the gate took forever though in reality it was only a few feet
away. His heart raced. His wasn’t breathing right. Fear had gripped him. When
would he be able to relax? When they got on the plane? When they got to
California? What about when they called their family when they got there? Would
Sansa decide then to leave? When would he not be afraid that Sansa would change
her mind?
“Sansa! Robb!”
There was a roaring in Robb’s ears and he turned as if underwater to see their
Mother running toward them. “No,” he muttered. “No. No.” He wanted to push
through all the people and drag Sansa on board with him. He’d pick her up and
carry her on if he had to. Catelyn could not be here now, this could not be
happening. For sure Sansa would change her mind now, seeing their mother.
Robb moved in front of Sansa; he wanted to shield her. It was fruitless, it
wouldn’t work, but if he could just keep their mother from getting to Sansa…
“Mom?” Sansa whispered. She stared at their mother waving to them as she stood
there. For Sansa it felt like a dream. Her mother could not be here. How was
this possible? This was not part of the plan…
“Don’t,” Robb said sternly when Catelyn reached them. He jutted his arm out as
if to stop Catelyn from getting any closer. There was only stanchion posts in
between them, there was no real barrier. Robb wasn’t much of one either, but he
seemed to fancy himself as such from the way he planted himself in front of
Sansa.
“Don’t do this,” Catelyn begged. Tears streamed down her face. “Please don’t do
this. You can’t.”
“We can. We are,” Robb said. “I know you don’t like it—”
“There isn’t a word strong enough for how I feel about this!”
People started to go around them, but they were all oblivious to it.
“You can’t get on that plane and leave your family like this,” Catelyn
continued. “And you can’t be together!” She peered over Robb’s shoulder.
“Sansa, honey, do you remember…before?”
Sansa moved around Robb and his arm jutted out as if to stop her. She put her
hand on his arm and looked at him. He lowered his arm. She could plainly see
the torment on his face. The desperation. The abject fear.
“I remember some things,” Sansa said quietly. “I love him, Mom.”
“You can’t, Sansa, you know you can’t,” Catelyn hissed. “Do you remember what
happened the last time then? Do you remember the accident?”
Sansa nodded.
“That happened because of what you did with Robb,” Catelyn spat. “If you get on
that plane and go do down this path, terrible things will happen. This is not
right and it’s not natural and you will be punished for it.”
“By who?” Robb snapped. “God? Give me a break, Mother.”
Catelyn ignored him though and focused on Sansa. “Sansa, how can you leave me?
Your father? Bran, Rickon, and Arya? Remember how we took care of you after
your accident. You built a life for yourself. If you come with me now, we’ll
sort it out.”
It was already happening, just as Sansa had thought. The lines were being
drawn. She was the one her mother saw as having been corrupted by Robb. He was
right. If she stayed he wouldn’t be able to go with her. He’d have to go away
again. This time for good.
“Ma’am, Sir, we really need you to board the plane now,” the attendant at the
end of the ropes said.
Sansa looked and saw that it was just them now. In just a few feet they would
be able to board their plane. In just a few steps she would leave behind her
family and her life to start a new one with Robb.
If she went.
But if she stayed…
She looked at Robb who was watching her intently. His back was straight, he had
tears in his eyes, and she could see a tremble go through his body. She met his
eyes, those beautiful blue eyes she loved so much. Her eyes ran over his face.
There were those lips she loved so much. That beard that tickled her. The silky
curls she loved to run her fingers through.
Then she looked at her Mother and took a step toward her. Robb let out whimper.
“Sansa, no.”
Catelyn looked hopeful. “Are you coming, Sansa? Say you’re coming with me.”
Sansa shook her head. “No, Mom. I’m not. I love Robb, and I’m going to stay
with Robb.” Tears streamed down her face. “I’m sorry. I hope one day you can
accept it, if not understand it.”
“Sansa,” Robb croaked, and his breath was ragged when he drew some air into his
lungs.
“Sansa, don’t do this,” Catelyn said and began to sob.
Sansa grabbed Robb’s hand and hurriedly pulled him with her to the attendant
that looked ready to murder them. He glared at them, but Sansa didn’t care. As
soon as they were done with their tickets, Sansa yanked on Robb’s hand and they
ran down the terminal to the plane.
Just as they were about to step onto the plane, Robb tugged on her hand and
drew her in his arms. He spun her around, laughing, with tears streaming down
his face and kissed her as if she really was about to say goodbye.
He broke the kiss and set her down and the two stepped onto the plane and into
their future.
***** Chapter 30 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
A crowded plane was not the place to discuss what had just happened with their
mother. It was bad enough that as soon as they sat down together, they’d both
looked around like Nervous Nellie’s at the people that surrounded them. Robb
knew it was a conditioned response from having to hide what they were and what
they felt. It was probably going to take some getting used to.
Nevertheless, Robb grabbed Sansa’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I love
you,” he murmured. She put her other hand over his and smiled at him. It was a
bit watery, but it was still a smile.
He knew that it was going to take some time, and that even though she had
chosen him – them – she was still sad about leaving the family behind. He was
as well, but not in quite the same way. He’d had a pretty good idea at how this
was going to go down from the start, plus he’d had his time away from the
family already. Granted, this might be completely different than before because
at least then he’d known his family was at least there and this time that was
an uncertainty, but he would take it as it came. It would be an adjustment and
he hated the idea of his father (and the rest of his siblings) despising him
and thinking of him as some kind of pervert as his mother must now think of
him, but to live his life without the love of his life? No.
When Sansa ordered an alcoholic beverage when the stewardess came around, Robb
didn’t say anything. She’d earned that drink. He got a water. Before the in-
flight movie started (Cinderella), Sansa stared out the window, her head
resting back on the seat, clearly lost in thought. Robb didn’t know what to say
to make her feel better. Was there really anything at all to say at this point?
It was just something they were both going to have to deal with now.
She rolled her head toward him and he rested his back against the seat to meet
her gaze. “I want to go swimming,” she said.
“You mean when we get there?”
“Yeah, but just in general.”
“The water is definitely warmer.”
“Will you teach me how to surf?”
He grimaced. “You might have to let me warm up to it first considering I
haven’t done it in a while.”
“Only if I can point and laugh when you wipe out.”
He chuckled. “That means I get to do the same when you do.”
She frowned thoughtfully. “Okay, then maybe I won’t. So, will you be contacting
any of your friends?”
“At some point I will.”
“Do they know…will they know…?”
“That you’re my—”
“Yeah,” she said and shot him a look that clearly said ‘Don’t say it out loud!’
“No. It’s not like I showed them photos or anything.”
She arched a brow and smirked. “So you didn’t have any pictures of me?”
He smiled. “Of course I did. But you were alone in them, and I wasn’t going to
share them with anyone.”
“Were they…naughty pictures?” she asked, her voice dropping low. “Because I
don’t know how I feel about that if that’s the case.”
“No…much to my chagrin.”
Sansa laughed and punched him lightly on the thigh. She sighed. “I’m sorry I
worried you.”
Robb nodded and looked down, just the memory of how he thought he was losing
her again causing him to choke up. “Do you regret it?” he asked hoarsely.
She placed her hand on the side of his face and he looked up at her. “No,” she
said with a soft smile. “I don’t want to be without you, Robb.”
Robb darted a glance around them, checking to see if anyone was looking their
way. No one was, and besides – what did it matter? No one on this plane knew
what they were. No one in California would either. To the rest of the world,
right now, they were merely two people in love.
Robb leaned over and kissed her, stopping himself from going too far. Sansa
smiled against his mouth. “So, is this your official stance on PDA then? It’s
fine with you?”
He laughed softly and nodded. “I don’t plan to grope you or anything, but
yeah.”
She yawned then and Robb arched a brow. “Am I boring you?”
She smiled lazily. “No, my drink is catching up with me.”
“Put your head on my shoulder, sweetheart, and take a nap. We’ve got a ways to
go yet.”
Sansa smiled tiredly and did just that. After a while, Robb joined her in
slumber.
xxxxxxxxx
Once they’d arrived in California and retrieved their luggage and rental car
that they’d be using until their vehicles arrived, Robb drove them to their
landlord’s office where they would be picking up their keys for their
apartment. Their landlord was also a realtor, which had made both Sansa and
Robb a little unsure about how truthful she would be about the place, but then
Robb had gone on to talk to her on the phone and assured Sansa that Mandi with
an ‘i’ was on the up and up.
As Robb drove them to the office, Sansa thought it was a good thing Robb knew
his way around, because she was going to need help. California already looked
like a foreign land compared to Winterfell. She peered out the window of the
car feeling as though everyone they passed was a celebrity for the sheer fact
that they lived here. It was the same when she’d once visited New York.
Everyone had felt like a celebrity to her there, too.
Mandi's office was in a small nondescript building on a busy strip of shops and
restaurants. It looked a bit...dumpy, and Sansa started to worry. Mandi herself
had blond hair, blue eyes, and big boobs. She also had leathery skin and Sansa
thought she might have been somewhere between twenty-five and…fifty. When Robb
introduced them to her, the other woman got up from behind her desk and
enveloped Robb in a hug that lasted much longer than it needed to. “I feel like
I know you, Robb Stark of Winterfell. I always had a smile on my face when I
talked to you!” Mandi gushed.
Sansa cleared her throat and folded her arms across her chest.
Robb pulled out of Mandi’s embrace and reached for Sansa, drawing her in front
of him. “This is my si— my girlfriend, Alayne,” he said. “The one I’ll be
living with.”
Sansa was too caught up in having Robb introduce her as his girlfriend and as
her alias to process anything else after that.
Mandi shook Sansa’s hand limply. “Well then,” the other woman said, “let’s get
you off to your new home. I’ll let you follow me there.”
“You don’t have to—” Robb began, but was cut off by Mandi. “Nonsense,” she
said. “I want to make sure it’s all to your liking. If it’s not, then I need to
find you a new place!”
Mandi led the way and Sansa just looked at Robb with wide eyes. She felt a tad
overwhelmed at the moment. Robb wrapped an arm about her shoulders and placed a
kiss on her temple. "It's going to be all right," he murmured.
Sansa hoped he was right.
xxxxxxxxxxx
The building itself was on a quiet street, and it wasn’t really a building at
all but a house. On the outside, it looked fine, like any typical three story
house that had apartments in them. It was white with black shutters and had a
porch that led inside to a set of hardwood stairs. There was a hallway that led
to the downstairs apartment, then on the second floor there was another
hallway. A door just off the stairs led to Robb and Sansa’s apartment, and down
the hall was another set of stairs that led to the top floor.
Sansa was pleasantly surprised by their apartment. It was just like the
pictures, with only a few minor flaws – there was some kind of water stain or
something on the hardwood floor in the living room but it wasn’t anything an
area rug couldn’t cover. The plain white furniture in the living room was a
little too…white. Sansa was already thinking of ways to add color to the
furniture with slip covers for the couch and recliners. The best part was the
set of doors that led out to a balcony. Sansa knew where she would be spending
most of her time!
The living was tiny, but in a cozy way and there was a small kitchen table
table tucked in the corner in front of doors that led to the balcony. The
kitchen appliances were new as were the countertops. The bedroom was off the
kitchen and had a king-sized bed, and a wrought iron headboard. She caught a
flash in her mind of tying Robb’s wrists to the bedposts and felt a blush come
on.
The bathroom was off the bedroom and was pretty standard as bathrooms went. It
was long rather than wide, and it had a window which Sansa liked.
“Well?” Mandi asked as she rocked back and forth on her pumps. “Do we like it?”
Robb looked at Sansa and she nodded with a smile. He looked relieved and smiled
at Mandi. “We do.”
“Yay!” Mandi exclaimed and clapped her hands together.
There were some forms for Robb to fill out and Sansa let him. It occurred to
her that in all her research about name changes, she hadn’t looked up
California’s laws. Well, Sansa knew what she’d be doing later. Or we could just
tell people we’re married, Sansa thought and looked at Robb, wondering what he
would think of that. It would certainly make the whole name change a little
easier because she might not actually have to do it.
While Robb signed the lease, Sansa made her way out onto the balcony. They had
a view of the tree-lined street and their neighbor’s small backyard. Sansa sat
down in the plastic chair tucked in the corner.
She still felt overwhelmed. It all felt rather surreal to her still. They were
really here in California. Had their mother really tried to stop them that
afternoon? Had that really happened just seven hours ago? Their father had to
know now. And perhaps their siblings. She tried to picture Arya taking the news
and all she could see was horror on her sister’s face in her mind’s eye.
“Hey.” Sansa looked up and found Robb standing in the doorway. “You okay?”
She nodded and forced a smile. “I am. We ready to get our luggage?”
He nodded. “And then I suppose we should go shopping.”
“Yes,” she said. “We need bedding.”
Robb held out his hand and she took it as she stood up. He pulled her arms
around his waist and then took her face in his hands and kissed her slowly. “I
love you,” he murmured against her mouth and then trailed kisses down to her
neck.
Sansa laughed and pushed at him. “Not now, big boy.”
He looked down at her and she could see the worry on his face and in his eyes.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Tears stung her eyes. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.”
“What can I do?”
“You can take me out to get bedding for our bed,” she said and wiped furiously
at the tears that fell. “And food.”
“Sansa—”
“If I think about it I’ll fall apart. I don’t want to fall apart right now. I
just want to get done what we need to get done and think about it later, okay?
Please?”
He sighed and nodded. “Okay.”
xxxxxxxxx
It was 9 p.m. by the time Sansa and Robb were finished unpacking what little
they had, stopping for dinner, and then shopping to get what they needed as far
as bedding and groceries. While it was 9 p.m. California time, it was midnight
their time back home.
Sansa took a shower after they’d unpacked the groceries and made the bed, and
Robb used that time to check his phone. No calls. They were probably all
processing.
When he heard Sansa come out of the bathroom he wandered into their bedroom and
watched her crawl into their newly made bed. He’d let Sansa choose the bedding.
She’d chosen blue paisley sheets and matching comforter. They’d gotten two
pillows each with matching pillowcases. Sansa claimed the side closest to the
wall and flopped there on her side. Robb went over to the AC in the window
beside his side of the bed and turned it on.
She didn’t move; she just lay there looking utterly wiped – and sexy. She wore
green shorts and a matching tank top. She blinked up at him and Robb wanted to
crawl in next to her, but he wanted to shower first.
He got down on his knees on the bed and leaned down to kiss her. “I’m going to
take a shower and join you, okay?” he murmured.
She nodded.
“Don’t fall asleep,” he said and pointed at her in mock sternness.
Her lips quirked into a grin. “I won’t.”
But by the time he got out of the shower, she was fast asleep. Robb’s heart
sank, but he knew she needed rest. Hell, so did he. It was just that this was
their first night in their new place and in their first bed together. This was
the first time they would fall asleep in each other’s arms without thinking how
Sansa had to make it back to her room before anyone caught them.
Robb stared down at the love of his life and hoped she didn’t regret her
choice. She’d been quiet and distant since they’d arrived in California and he
worried…God, he worried.
He crawled in next to her and pulled her close. She murmured his name and
cuddled into him, her hand pressed up against his heart. Robb kissed her
forehead and fell asleep soon after.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you, everyone! :) I like hearing what you're thinking about
     these two...
***** Chapter 31 *****
Robb woke slowly the next morning, and it took him a few seconds to get his
bearings. California. Apartment. In bed with Sansa.
He couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on his face as he rolled over to see
her. She was curled away from him, facing the wall. He wanted to wake her up
with kisses, but he also didn’t want to disrupt her sleep. They’d both had
quite the day the day before. He still felt tired himself. Not enough to go
back to sleep, but the kind of tired where he thought it would be a good day to
not do much.
Actually, it would be a great day to just stay in bed. With Sansa of course.
Sex was considered exercise, right? He couldn’t think of a better way to reach
target heart rate than by making love to her all day.
She shifted beside him, stretching her legs and groaning. Robb grinned and
scooted closer to her; he wrapped an arm about her and splayed his hand on her
belly. He nuzzled at her neck. “Good morning, love,” he murmured.
She stiffened, which was a bit disconcerting, and then she relaxed. “Good
morning,” she said.
“How do you feel?” he asked. He fingered the strap of her tank top and then
moved it away and kissed her bare shoulder.
Sansa moved away from him, and her elbow got him in the stomach. He let out a
grunt and she climbed out of bed and looked down at him apologetically.
“Sorry.”
“Where are you going?” he asked. He held out a hand. “Come back here.”
“Have to pee,” she said and headed to the bathroom.
Robb sighed and ran a hand through his curls. Hopefully when she returned they
could back to the business of some foreplay. Of course, his own need to relieve
himself soon became apparent, but he wouldn’t move if it meant Sansa would come
back and join him in the bed.
But she didn’t. She emerged from the bathroom looking as though she’d brushed
her hair, too. She looked down at him and smiled and then said, “I want eggs”
before heading to the kitchen.
Robb’s jaw clenched. Okay, so she didn’t want to spend their first morning
together alone christening their new bed. That was fine. Disappointing, but
fine. She’s still processing, he told himself.
It still hurt though, even as he told himself that this was all new to her.
He’d lived away from home before so this wasn’t all that different, though the
circumstances were a bit stressful…but Sansa hadn’t felt the pain of their
separation while he’d been away because she didn’t remember them. She didn’t
know that this was preferable to that.
She needs time to adjust, he thought. And with the scene at the airport…she’s
not changing her mind, she’s just processing it.
“How do you want your eggs?” she called from the kitchen.
“Scrambled,” he called back, and then crawled out of bed and went to the
bathroom.
After he came out of the bathroom and joined Sansa in the kitchen, she had two
plates out on the counter and was scrambling eggs in a pan on the stove. Coffee
was percolating, and toast was in the toaster.
“What can I do?” he asked. He wanted to go to her, wanted to press himself
against her back and steal a kiss or two or three, but he was afraid of being
rejected again.
“Orange juice?” she asked.
He nodded and got out two glasses for orange juice. They didn’t much in the way
of glasses and mugs and utensils, but they’d gotten enough to get them through
as they hadn’t wanted to spend too much money.
“Is there anything you’d like to do today?” he asked as he poured the orange
juice.
Sansa shut off the stove and carried the pan over to ration out the eggs. “The
beach?”
“Sure,” he said. “Do you have your bathing suit?”
“Yup.” She put the pan in the sink and went to the microwave and turned it on.
There was a plate of bacon inside. The toast popped and she grabbed the slices
and placed one on his plate and one on hers. Robb got the butter and in silence
they prepared their breakfast.
He wanted to ask her how she was feeling, what she was thinking. He wanted to
know if she’d checked her phone, if she’d heard from anyone in the family. Yet
he didn’t want to push.
This wasn’t how he’d imagined things going. He supposed the romantic in him had
imagined they’d be all over each other with blissful smiles on their faces that
couldn’t be contained. Instead, Sansa was distant and he felt on edge waiting,
it felt like, for her to tell him she wanted to go back home.
He wondered if hearing from home would help. If their family had in fact
decided to disown them – and he wasn’t so indifferent that he didn’t feel
pained at the thought – would it make clear to Sansa that they could not go
back? Or, Christ, would it make her want to return home all the more?
Robb stared at his phone on the counter and though part of him wanted to check,
he left it alone.
xxxxxxx
Robb was pretty sure that Sansa meant to kill him with the black bikini she
wore to the beach. He couldn’t take his eyes off her and from the looks of the
men around them, neither could they. “Will you get my back, Robb?” she asked
him after they’d set out a blanket and their tote bag with water, some snacks
and towels.
Robb kneeled behind her and Sansa drew her hair over her shoulder and down her
front to give him access. He wondered how he was going to do this without
getting hard because all he wanted to do was kiss every inch of her body and
slide his hands all over her.
He looked around them, looking to see if anyone was watching them and thinking
he had couldn’t give himself away. He caught himself a second later. No one
knew who they were here, he reminded himself. Here, Sansa was his girlfriend
and if he wanted to nuzzle her neck or steal a few kisses he could.
It was on the tip of Robb’s tongue to whisper how hot she looked in the bikini,
but since she’d been distant all morning and dodging any touches from him, he
figured that would be a bad idea. So, he slathered her back with sunblock and
then she slathered him with sunblock and then they trekked down to the water
together.
“It is warm!” Sansa exclaimed and smiled at him
They went in further until their waists were submerged and Sansa just stood
there, staring out at the ocean and looking lost in thought.
“Sansa?”
She looked at him. “Yeah?”
To talk about it or not to talk about it. He shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Will you tell me about how you learned to surf?” she asked.
He decided to take a chance. He held out his hand, his heart in his throat.
“Only if you come closer.”
She took his hand without even thinking about it and allowed him to draw her in
close. He bent his head and nuzzled the side of her face. She placed her hands
on his chest and looked up at him with a gentle smile on her face.
He talked to her about how he learned to surf, how he’d wiped out a lot and a
couple times thought he might drown.
“I don’t think I want you to do that then,” she said.
“I got better. I learned what to do.”
She rested her head on his chest and Robb held her close. He wanted to tell her
loved her, that he would do anything for her, anything to make this better if
she’d only tell him how, but he was afraid to speak. She was that wild animal
again. Any sudden moves and he might drive her away.
xxxxxxxx
Sansa stared at her phone that had remained shut off since she and Robb had
boarded the plane for California. She had thought about looking at it yesterday
and after they’d arrived – had thought about it all day actually, but she had
been afraid to.
She kept thinking about home, about how they were taking the news and they felt
about her and Robb now. Part of her had the insane hope that they’d all say
that they loved her and Robb anyway and it didn’t matter to them what they did.
In her head, it was her father that was first hit hard and then declared that
he loved his kids and if they were in love then who was he to judge?
Sansa knew that wasn’t logical, but she couldn’t help but wish it all the same.
And now, while Robb was in the shower and Sansa was freshly showered and
sitting on their couch in the living room she held her phone in her hands and
tried to work herself up to turning it on.
“Just do it,” she muttered to herself. “The not knowing is going to drive you
crazier. Just do it.”
So she did. As usual it took a few seconds for messaged and missed calls to
come in. There were a few missed calls from her mother, only one from her Dad,
and then a text from Arya.
You and Robb are gross. I can’t believe you’ve done this. I’ve always know
there was something wrong with you, Sansa.
Arya might as well have reached through the phone and slapped her. When Robb
came out to join her in a t-shirt and boxers he found her with tears streaming
down her face. She showed him the text and his jaw clenched. He deleted the
message pulled Sansa onto his lap. He held her there while she cried into his
shoulder. He rubbed her back and stroked her hair until she calmed down long
enough to talk.
It all came tumbling out. The fear that their family hated them and thought
just as Arya did. The fear that they really would be disowned. Was this
something they could explain, she wondered? Was it something they might be able
to one day understand? Would it just take time? What if one of them were sick
and needed help or in a bad accident?
Robb just held her and let her get it out of her system. This was what she
needed. When she’d calmed and quieted, he asked softly, “Do you think like
Arya?”
“Sometimes I think there is something wrong with us,” she said honestly.
Robb couldn’t blame her for that. He’d thought that in the beginning too.
“What do you want to do, sweetheart?” he asked.
She pulled back and looked at him, and wiped at her eyes. “I want to call Mom.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“What do you want to say to her?”
“I just want to know what she told them, what she said. I want to know what Dad
thinks, how he’s doing…I want to know if we’ve been disowned.”
Robb tucked some hair behind her ear. “What if we have been? Can you live with
that?”
“I wish I had an answer to that,” she said. “But I don’t. I thought I knew how
hard this part was going to be…the leaving part. I had no idea until it
happened.”
“Sansa—”
“I’m not going to leave you,” she said. “I’m not going to go back.”
“I wish I could say I was sure about that,” he said, and his voice shook. “You
won’t even let me touch you, Sansa. I don’t want you to resent me.”
“I don’t resent you,” she said earnestly. “I’m sorry, I – I just can’t shut off
my brain. I was afraid to know what they were thinking and feeling and now I
need to know so that I can deal with it.”
Robb took her hands and pressed them to his chest and looked up at her
imploringly. “Stop shutting me out. I can’t take it when you do that. The only
way we’re going to work through this is if we do it together. Please, Sansa.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered and leaned down to kiss him. “I’m sorry. I love you,
Robb, I do.”
He moaned and took her face in his hands and kissed her hungrily, desperately.
Sansa met his fervent kisses with her own. She straddled him and Robb took a
chance and stood, his hands under her bottom.
He carried her into their bedroom – God, yes, theirs – and laid her down on it.
He pulled her shorts down and her panties and bent over her and put his mouth
on her pussy. He licked, laved, and teased until Sansa was writing under him,
her fingers tangled in his hair, begging him to let her cum. He sucked her clit
in his mouth and she cried out, tightening her hands in curls. She whimpered
and pulled lightly on his hair. “Inside me,” she muttered. “Robb, please.”
Robb pulled himself away long enough to discard his shirt and boxers and then
he climbed over her and pushed her tank top up from her belly and kissed her
there. He trailed kisses up to her breasts and she sat up long enough to
discard her tank top. He licked and sucked at one breast before treating the
other one with the same attention.
“Robb,” she moaned and drew his face up to hers. She kissed him ardently and
spread her legs, encasing his hips with her thighs.
Robb kissed her as he reached down and placed himself at her opening. He pushed
inside and she let out a long moan and her eyes fluttered shut.
“Look at me,” he commanded and her eyes flew open and locked on his.
She was so wet and hot and tight, and Robb was determined to make her come
again before he did. He dropped one elbow by her shoulder and dug his hand
under her head and drew her up to kiss her soundly as he steadily pumped in and
out of her. Her soft skin, her sweet scent, her clutching pussy on his dick,
and the whimpers in the back of her throat – he was in heaven. “Tell me you
love me,” he demanded.
“I love you,” she panted.
He grabbed the hand that was on his shoulder and pressed it into the bed over
her head as he entwined their fingers. “My Sansa,” he muttered and moved
faster, harder. “Mine.”
“Robb,” she whimpered. “I’m going to come.”
“Come for me,” he growled. “Come on my cock.”
That did it. Her eyes rolled up in the back of her head and she cried out as
her walls clamped and pulsed around his hard shaft. He thrust hard once, twice,
three times, and then came with a gush inside her. He held himself over her as
he came and then he collapsed against her and buried his face in her neck.
He felt their clasped hands disengage and she drew her now free hand down his
sweat-slickened back. She kissed the side of his face and he lifted his head
and looked down at her. He couldn’t find his voice to ask if that was okay that
he took them to bed.
She smiled a siren’s smile and pushed at him. He rolled onto his back and fell
out of her and they both shared a moan. She then draped herself over him and
started to kiss her way down his body. Robb shut his eyes, tangled his fingers
in her silky strands, and braced himself for the pleasure that was about to
come. Pun intended.
***** Chapter 32 *****
Chapter Notes
     Made this in honor of the new photos of Richard Madden in Lady
     Chatterley's Lover. Plus it goes along with the smutastic chapter!
      

     [ photo ITWAN collage_zpseudo2954.jpg]
Sansa woke from her doze to the feel of Robb peppering kisses over her back and
one hand rubbing her ass. She was laying on her stomach and she shifted and let
out a moan to let him know she was awake. She smiled sleepily when she felt
Robb press himself against her back. She could feel his erection against her
ass and she pushed back at him in silent invitation.
He bit her lightly on the shoulder and rumbled in her ear, “Ready for round
two?”
She rubbed her bottom against his cock and nodded eagerly. She started to turn
around, but Robb stayed her and said, “No, stay like this.”
She peered over her shoulder at him as he pushed her more firmly against the
mattress. “Lift your luscious ass for me, Sansa,” he ordered. She did and he
stuffed a pillow under her. “Keep your legs together for me, sweetheart.”
Sansa bit her lip, wondering how this was going to work exactly and then she
felt his thighs encase hers so that he was straddling her. She then felt his
cock rub against her pussy and she moaned and gripped the pillow under her
head.
“You’re so wet,” he murmured in appreciation and slowly slid inside her.
Sansa gasped.
“Am I hurting you?” Robb asked.
“No,” she said. “You just feel bigger this way.”
He pulled back until just the tip of him was inside, paused, and then surged
inside her. Sansa gasped again.
“Still good?” he asked.
“Don’t stop,” she begged as she got up on her elbows and lifted up slightly,
clutching the pillow’s edge.
He drove her crazy alternating between slow strokes and then fast. He’d bring
her to the brink and then back off and slow down.
“Robb, please…” she begged and pushed her ass against him when he started to go
slow again.
“Tell me what you want, sweet girl,” he said as he drew himself almost
completely out of her.
“Make me come, Robb, please, I’m so close.”
He pressed his body against hers completely and peppered kisses along her back
and neck. “How do you want it, Sansa, you have to tell me.”
“Harder. Faster. Please.”
He did the opposite of what she asked however and pulled completely out of her,
and then moved off of her, kneeling.
“Are you trying to kill me?” she demanded and looked over her shoulder at him.
He put his hands on her hips. “Get on your knees for me, sweetheart.”
Sansa shivered. He was going to take her doggy style. She didn’t hesitate to
get up on all fours, moving the pillow that had been under her stomach out of
the way. She wiggled her ass at him and he groaned and slid his hands over the
cheeks of her ass.
“Spread your legs for me,” he instructed. She did so and he moved in between
them and placed a hand between her shoulder blades and pushed. Sansa took the
hint and rested her head on the pillow there while keeping her ass up.
Robb slammed inside her and Sansa gasped and cried out, “Yes, God, yes, like
that, please!”
“You’re going to be the death of me,” Robb groaned.
Her? she thought. She was going to be the death of him?! She was pretty sure
she was going to combust into flames soon.
He slid out of her slowly and then slammed inside her again. He did this three
more times, leaving Sansa pleading with him incoherently to let her come.
He started to pound inside her, fast and hard just as she’d asked. Sansa
clutched at the headboard, wrapping her fingers around the wrought iron
columns. Robb grunted behind her and she pushed back at him with her ass.
“Fuck me, Sansa,” he commanded, his breathing heavy. “Fuck me back.”
She drew herself up and curled her fingers around the top of the headboard. She
met his thrusts, fucking back at him and then she came so hard she bowed her
head down, just clinging to the headboard as her whole body shuddered. Her
mouth opened to cry out, but no sound came out and her eyes were shut tight.
Robb continued to pump inside her and then he held himself still as he came.
“Sansa, God, yes, squeeze me just like that! Fuck!”
Sansa collapsed to the bed, her arms no longer able to hold her up. Robb
followed her down, his front to her back once more.
Tremors continued to pulse through Sansa’s body as Robb rolled to his side and
drew her with him as though he couldn’t bear to let even an inch between their
bodies. He wrapped an arm around her and splayed his hand on her belly
possessively. He nuzzled at her shoulder and her neck and murmured how much he
loved her, how hot she made him, and how she was his and he was hers.
Sansa did something then that surprised her. She started to cry. She’d heard of
people experiencing some kind of release through yoga or exercise or meditation
– how their energy would shift inside them and they’d experience a release of
something they hadn’t realized they were holding onto and they’d start to cry.
She didn’t know it could happen after sex, but that had also been some fucking
amazing sex.
“Sansa,” Robb said worriedly. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Sansa, talk to me. Did
I hurt you?”
She shook her head. “I just love you so much. I knew I loved you before now,
but I just – I feel like my heart is going to burst with how much. It’s like
you’re in my bones and my blood. I mean, I know you’re in my blood because
you’re my brother—” She broke off in frustration, tears streaming down her
face. “Can you just get what I mean?”
“I do know, I know,” he murmured. “Sansa, look at me.”
She turned in his arms and buried her face in his chest, wetting him with her
tears. Robb grasped her face in his big hands and pulled her face up to his. He
kissed her hungrily, desperately, and she swore she could feel his love course
through her. Or was it hers, encompassing them both?
When he broke the kiss he looked at her, tears in his eyes. “That’s how it’s
always been for me with you,” he told her. “You’re everywhere inside me,
imprinted on my heart and my soul.” He kissed her again. “I thought I was going
to lose you,” he gasped.
“Never,” she promised. She laughed softly. “We’re a couple of saps.”
“As long as those are happy tears…?”
She smiled and kissed him. “Overwhelmingly happy tears,” she said. For a long
while they just lay their together, limbs entangled, murmuring their love to
each other.
xxxxxxxxx
Later that evening, Robb and Sansa emerged from bed long enough to pop a frozen
pizza in the oven. Robb wore a pair of boxer and Sansa wore his t-shirt. He
lifted her onto the counter as their pizza baked in the oven and stood between
her legs, his hands on either side of her on the counter, and kissed her
languidly.
Sansa placed her arms down on his shoulders and looked down at him when their
kiss ended. “I have a question,” she said.
He smiled. “Yes?”
“When did you know? I mean, can you pinpoint the moment you knew you loved me?”
“It was your freshman year and you came home from school one day in tears
because some asshole had made fun of you on the bus. I wanted to rip him apart.
I knew it was love because I knew I would have done anything to make you smile.
I took you out to dinner and mini-golf and anytime you smiled at me I felt ten
feet tall.”
“What happened to the boy who teased me?”
Robb laughed and ducked his head. “He may or may not have found his head in the
toilet in the boy’s locker room.”
Sansa laughed. “Just how many heads rolled in your quest to defend me?”
“Not very many. I think people caught on quick that if they messed with you
they messed with me.”
Robb kissed her and then went to the cabinet to get a couple glasses. Sansa
watched him get them both water with ice and she nibbled on her bottom lip
thoughtfully. “Robb?”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve been thinking…”
“About?” he asked as he handed her a glass.
Sansa took the glass and tapped her nails against the side. “Well, you know how
I was going to change my name and all that?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I was thinking unless I have to for whatever reason, maybe I could keep
mine?”
He frowned and finished his sip of water. “But people will know we’re related.”
“Not necessarily.”
“What are we going to tell people? That it’s a coincidence we have the same
last name?”
“We could tell them we’re married.”
A look of wonder passed over his features and then he broke into a wide smile.
“You’d be my wife?”
“Well, maybe not literally but kind of?”
He marched over to her, put his glass down on the counter, then took hers and
put it down next to his and grabbed her face and kissed her. “We’ll need rings.
We could have our own ceremony—”
“Robb, slow down,” she laughed. “We don’t need rings right away. When we start
working, okay? You have that interview Monday, right?”
He nodded, but it was like he didn’t hear her. He wrapped his arms around her
and pulled her close. “Wrap your legs around me,” he muttered.
She did, wondering what he had in mind. Then he picked her up and carried her
to the couch. She laughed as they descended upon it as one beast. “What about
our dinner?” she asked when he stood to discard his boxers. He was hard. Sansa
removed his shirt and reached for him.
“The buzzer will go off,” he said and came to lay down on top of her.
Sansa kissed him and wrapped her arms around him. “The idea of wearing rings
turns you on, huh?”
“The idea of you being mine wholly and completely turns me on.” He placed his
fingers at her opening and sank one finger inside her while rubbing her clit.
“To the world, you’ll be my wife.”
Sansa moaned and arched her back. She reached between them and stroked his cock
as he fingered her. He moaned and Sansa lifted her hips.
“Put me inside you,” he whispered.
She placed him at her opening and Robb slowly pushed inside her. He started a
steady rhythm inside her and then bent his head and took one breast into his
mouth, and then the next. It was as if there was a direct line to her pussy
from her breasts when he did that. She clenched her muscles around him and he
groaned. “Do that again.”
Thank you, Cosmo, for those articles on Kegel exercises, she thought and
clenched around him again and again.
“Sansa,” he gasped. “God, I love you so much.”
“Kiss me,” she commanded.
He obliged her, his tongue slipping inside her mouth, mimicking the action of
his cock.
Sansa buried her hands in his hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m so close…”
“Come for me, sweetheart. Come on…” he urged. He started to go faster. Harder.
Sansa lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist and he went even deeper
inside her.
“Oh God, you’re so deep inside me,” she moaned.
Robb pressed his forehead against hers as he moved forward, digging his knees
into the couch and jackhammering inside her.
Sansa dug her nails in his shoulders and came. “Robb, oh fuck, yes!”
Robb thrust hard three times and shouted as he came inside her.
And then the buzzer went off for their pizza.
Sansa laughed as she drew him down for kiss. “Perfect time, honey.”
He grinned. “I’m a man of many talents.”
“You’ll get no argument from me on that,” she murmured. “So, um, can you bring
the food here? I don’t think I can move.”
He laughed and kissed her. “As you wish, mi’lady.”
***** Chapter 33 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Robb woke the next morning to Sansa curled around him. He smiled before he even
opened his eyes, feeling her head upon his chest, one leg over both of his, and
an arm across his stomach.
“Finally, you’re awake,” she said.
He pried his eyes open and looked down at her. “Have you been awake long?”
“No, not very, but I was getting hungry and thinking I wanted you to make me an
omelet.”
Robb shifted under her and Sansa moved to her side while Robb moved to his so
he could look at her. “Do you know how to cook?” he asked her.
“Pasta.”
“That’s not cooking,” he chuckled.
“I made us breakfast yesterday.”
He smiled. “You did. It’s not a big deal, I just wondered.” He rolled onto his
back and Sansa saw a teasing smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “But I do
except to have a hot home-cooked meal on the table when I come home from a long
day—”
Sansa smacked him and he laughed. She climbed atop him straddling him and sat
up. She looked down at him and smiled. Robb grinned up at her and placed his
hands on her hips. “I love you,” he said.
She leaned down and kissed him. “I love you, too.”
“What do you think I show you around today?” he murmured.
She sat back up. “Can you also show me the university campus?”
“Of course.”
She sighed. “I need to find out what I need to teach here.”
“We’ll figure it out.”
“I know, it just feels like work,” she groaned and climbed off of him. She went
to her side, putting her back to him and it was Robb’s turn to wrap himself
around her. “I just don’t want to deal with any of it right now. I will, but it
all feels so overwhelming.”
Robb kissed her shoulder. “Sansa, we just got here. We both have a lot to deal
with right now with just what it took to get here. I feel it, too.”
She looked at him over her shoulder. “You do?”
“Yes.”
She frowned and buried the side of her head in the pillow. “But you’ve been
here before; it’s different for you.”
“Let me help. We’ll do the research for what you need to teach—”
“We need to call home, Robb,” Sansa said softly.
He pushed his forehead against her shoulder. “I know.”
“I want to do it and yet I’m afraid to do it. I need to know what...what they
think.” She pursed her lips together. “I know what Arya thinks,” she said
bitterly.
“I wish I could tell you that it’s going to be okay, but I can’t promise that.”
“This is one of those times when your eternal optimism would be a help.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
They both fell into silence. Sansa contemplated calling home and what would be
said while Robb wished he could make this easier for both of them. He wasn’t so
much worried about himself, but he was worried about Sansa and how she would
handle whatever came. He had already rather resigned himself to the fact that
it wouldn’t go well; that they’d probably be disowned and while that did hurt –
a lot – he knew that he and Sansa had come too far and for him turning back
wasn’t an option.
He did wonder though, if it would be for her. Their mother had certainly
approached the situation at the airport as if Sansa was the one she could
reach. Though Sansa had made her choice, Robb didn’t think that would be enough
to stop Catelyn – and possibly Ned – from trying again.
Despite Sansa’s avowals of love and the incredible sex-a-thon they’d
experienced, Robb had his reservations. He figured just like he’d told Sansa
that everything would come in come, his trust that she wouldn’t decide to leave
him after all would come in time as well.
xxxxxxxxx
Sansa wasn’t ready to call home yet and Robb was willing to oblige her in
whatever she needed to do to prepare herself. Turned out that meant going to
the hardware store to look at paint. Mandi had told them they were free to
paint, just as long as they painted the walls back to white in the event they
moved.
Sansa just wanted to collect some paint samples and take a look at slip covers
for their couch (that would be in another store). Since this constituted as
also showing her around, Robb was up for it.
Robb went to look for tools they might need for the apartment while Sansa went
for the paint samples. He was perusing through toolboxes when he heard someone
say his name. He looked up and found Jessica, one of his exes. It had been an
amicable split so Jessica greeted him with a wide smile and a hug.
“I had run into Paul not too long ago and he said you’d gone back home! You’re
back now? Just for a visit or…?”
Robb scratched the back of his neck. “I’m back. For good.”
“Well, I’m really happy to see you. You know, I thought of calling you so many
times, but I didn’t know if you’d be happy to hear from me or if you were
seeing someone. Maybe we could get together sometime and—”
“Honey, are you ready?”
Robb looked over to find Sansa coming over, paint samples in hand. She came up
to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. “I found a bunch of – oh, I’m
sorry. Did I interrupt something?” She certainly sounded innocent and looked
innocent as she looked at Jessica. Robb had to hold back a laugh. She was quite
the little actress.
“Sweetheart, this is a friend of mine. Jessica. Jessica, this is my fiancé,
Sansa.”
Sansa peeled herself off of him and extended her hand to Jessica who looked a
bit upset by this new development. Jessica stared at her hand and Sansa must
have took note of it for she said, “My ring is being resized.”
Jessica shook Sansa’s hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Sansa. If you’ll
excuse me.” Hurriedly, Jessica walked off.
“That’s right,” Sansa muttered. “Keep going…”
Robb grabbed her hand and tugged her against him, her back to his front. He
nuzzled her neck. “You’re a little minx, you know that?”
She giggled and spun herself in his arms and kissed him. “You like it when I
get a little territorial though, don’t you?” she whispered hotly.
“I love it,” he growled and nipped at her lips. “Let’s say we go home and I
show you how much?”
Sansa was about to answer him when her phone went off, signaling a text
message. She froze and looked at Robb with fear in her eyes.
“Let me see,” Robb said gently and held out his hand. Sansa dug into the purse,
extracted her phone, and handed it to him.
He looked down at it and frowned.
“Well?” she said anxiously.
Robb sighed. “It’s Mom. She wants to talk.”
xxxxxx
The ride home was met with silence. Sansa could practically feel Robb’s worry
rolling off of him in waves. She was worried, too, but she suspected their
worries were different. He didn’t trust her to stay. Sansa didn’t know how to
assuage his fears, and right now she didn’t feel she like had much to give when
it came to comfort since she felt completely all over the place herself.
She felt like she wouldn’t know how to handle any of this until she talked to
her mother, and yet she feared it too. Hence the trip into town. But she
couldn’t avoid it anymore.
Once they were home in their apartment, Sansa went to the couch and curled her
feet under her. She held her phone in her hand and waited for Robb to join her.
He came over and sat down next to her, his expression grim.
Sansa dialed her mother and put the phone on speaker. She then placed the phone
on the coffee table and waited for her mother to answer.
“Sansa?” came Catelyn’s voice through the phone.
“Hi, Mom,” Sansa said.
“Is Robb with you?”
“I am,” he said.
“They know,” Catelyn said. “Your family knows. Bran is holed up in his room.
Rickon doesn’t want to talk about it and Arya—”
“We know how Arya feels,” Sansa said.
“Your father…” Catelyn sighed. “Your father is beside himself. He’s furious
with me for not having told him the first time around, and he’s been stomping
about yelling at everyone. Sansa…Sansa, I want you to come home. You can make
this better if you come home.”
“Not me though, huh?” Robb interjected bitterly.
“Robb, he – your father – he’s angry with you as well.”
“How is he not angry with me?” Sansa asked.
“He thinks Robb came home for the sole purpose to start things up again. He
said, and I agree with him, that your job as the eldest was to watch out for
your siblings, not corrupt them. Instead of protecting your sister, you sullied
her. And when you had the chance to make it right, you did it again. In time,
perhaps, he will change his mind…”
“Neither of you can change how we feel about each other,” Robb spat. “I didn’t
corrupt Sansa. I didn’t hurt her. I didn’t rape her—”
“He believes you did, and the fact that you are his son and he loves you is why
he will not press charges. He thinks you took advantage of Sansa’s weakened
mind—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sansa interrupted. “Weakened mind?”
“From your accident.”
“That was five years ago, Mom! My mind is not weakened!” Sansa exclaimed.
“Sansa, your father is looking for a way to understand this. Quite frankly, I
don’t think he will be able to. I still can’t, and I had quite a long time to
deal with the knowledge that my son and my daughter were having sex.”
“It wasn’t just sex, Mother!” Robb shouted. “You reduce it to its—”
Sansa put a hand on his arm. “Robb, stop,” she said. She looked at him, tears
in her eyes. “No amount of explaining is going to make them get it. No one
would. We knew that we were in this alone. We can’t ask them to understand
something that we don’t either.”
Robb’s hands balled into fists, and he jumped to his feet and started to pace.
“Sansa, honey, please come home. I know that you can talk to your father and
fix this. You want to help Robb, you can. Just come home and put this family
back together. Your father needs you. Your siblings need you. I need you. How
can you turn your back on us like this? What are you going to do, hmm? What if
something happens and you need help? What if people find out, what will you do?
You won’t be able to work anywhere. Neither of you. You’ll be broke and out on
the street—”
“Shut up, Mother,” Robb said harshly. “Stop filling her head with all the worst
case scenarios so you can scare her into returning to you. You think we haven’t
thought of all this already?”
“Robb, I am not the enemy,” Catelyn said sternly. “I love you, but I cannot
accept this and neither can your father. Nor can your siblings. You’ve torn
this family apart due to your…your sickness. Sansa, honey, are you still
there?”
Sansa wiped at the tears that rolled down her face and sniffed. “I’m here,” she
said softly.
“If you come home now we can work on this and make you better. We can help
Robb, too.”
“And if I don’t?” Sansa asked. She saw Robb stop pacing and look at her out of
the corner of her eye.
It sounded like Catelyn started to cry. “Then you’ve alienated your family and
this is it – you can’t decide later on when things fall apart that you can just
come back home. Think about what this means, Sansa. Think about what you’ll be
doing if you decide to stay. There will be no contact anymore. Not ever. Is
that what you want?”
Sansa sucked in a shuddering breath and looked at Robb who stared back at her
pleadingly. He didn’t have to say it, but she could practically her him in her
head, begging her not to leave him.
She shut her eyes; she couldn’t look at him.
“Sansa?” Catelyn said.
“I’m here,” Sansa whispered.
“Well? What do you say?”
Chapter End Notes
     I hope this came out okay. I was stressing on what Catelyn would say
     to them. I had the bare bones of it, so I hope it made sense.
***** Chapter 34 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“I need some time to think about this, Mom” Sansa said softly.
Robb’s heart plummeted to his feet. He stood rooted to the spot, staring at
her, unable to believe she’d actually just said that. “Sansa,” he whispered.
“No.”
She wouldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry, Mom, I have to go now,” she said and
disconnected the call.
She got to her feet and brushed past Robb. He reached out and grabbed her arm.
She looked back at him, tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, and her voice
shook.
“Why…?”
Tears streamed down her face. “It’s the finality of it. No contact ever—”
“You knew that was a possibility. You knew that before, Sansa!”
“Knowing something is a possibility is not the same as having it actually come
to pass, Robb.”
He pulled her to him and leaned in close so their faces were inches apart. “How
can you think about leaving me like this?”
“I’m…”
“What? You’re not? You are, Sansa. By telling Mom you need to ‘think about
this’, you are contemplating leaving me. What happened to yesterday, huh? When
you cried in my arms and told me how much you loved me? What was that, Sansa?”
“I meant it!”
Then how can you think about leaving me!” he shouted. “She set out to scare you
and you fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”
“Robb, stop—”
“You said you don’t have a weakened mind, but maybe you actually do,” he
growled.
His head snapped to the side with the force of Sansa’s slap. Robb knew he
deserved that. As soon as the words had left his mouth he’d regretted them. And
he hadn’t meant them either.
He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She didn’t hug
him back. “I’m sorry,” he gasped into her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean it. Sansa, I love you. I love you so much.”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her desperately. “Sansa, please,” he
muttered against her lips.
“Robb, I do love you, I do,” she said breathlessly.
“Don’t leave me,” he begged as he lifted her in his arms. Her legs went around
his waist as reflex. He carried her to the bedroom and lay her down on the bed.
“Don’t leave me,” he muttered as he started to undo the snap of her jeans.
Sansa grabbed her wrist. “Robb, no.”
He looked at her, tears in his eyes. “What do I have to do? What do you want
from me?”
She sat up and ran her fingers over his face. He nuzzled into her palm and then
she drew him close and kissed him. “You don’t have to do anything, and I don’t
want anything but some space. I just need to think, okay? I need to wrap my
head around everything Mom said. I’m sorry, I just…I knew it would be hard I
just didn’t…I didn’t expect…” She started to cry then, a full out sob that
wracked her body.
Robb climbed up on the bed with her and pulled her into his arms. Sansa buried
her face in his chest and proceeded to cry into his chest. Robb held her
tightly while tears streamed down his face.
xxxxxxxx
They’d exhausted themselves, Sansa realized when she awoke a couple hour later.
She was practically on top of Robb at that point and he was passed out cold.
Sansa moved off of him as carefully as possible, but he jerked awake and looked
at her. “Where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” she replied.
He nodded and rolled to his side.
Sansa quickly used the bathroom and when she came back in the room, Robb was
still on the bed, laying down with his eyes open and watching her. He held up
an arm. “Come back.”
“I think I’m going to go for a walk.”
“I’ll come with you,” he said and started to sit up.
“Robb, no. I want to go alone.”
“Do you know your way around well enough to do that?”
“I’m sure I can figure it out.”
He pursed his lips together and nodded.
“I just need some fresh air and time to think.”
He nodded, but said nothing.
She came over to him and lay down next to him. She put her hand on the side of
his face. “Please believe me when I say I love you, Robb. Please.”
“Maybe I’m not enough,” he mumbled.
“No,” she said and tears sprang to her eyes. “You are. Please try to understand
why I need time…you had a lot of time to get used to the idea of leaving home.
I haven’t. I wasn’t in the same place as you for a really long time, and it all
happened so fast…”
“For a while there, you didn’t think it was happening fast enough.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m sorry I’m all over the place…”
“Go for your walk. We’ll talk when you get back.”
She started to get up when Robb grabbed her. She looked at him and he looked
pained. “You know I didn’t mean what I said, right? I don’t think your mind is
weak, Sansa. You know that, right?”
“I know,” she said softly.
“I was just angry at Mom and I’m worried…”
“I know,” she said again. “I’m sorry I hit you.”
“I deserved it for what I said.”
“I think we’re both a little emotional.”
He laughed sadly. “A little emotional? I’m falling to pieces inside at the
thought of you leaving me.”
“I’m just going for a walk,” she said in an attempt to make him smile. It
didn’t work.
“You know what I mean, Sansa.”
“I know,” she murmured. She got up and when she got to the door she looked back
at him. “I do love you.”
He didn’t look like he believed her. And really, how could Sansa blame him for
that?
xxxxxxxx
Sansa managed to find her way down to a pier and once there, she sat on a bench
overlooking the water and sat down. She shut her eyes and listened to the ebb
and flow of the waves and let the wind just wash over her. It was a beautiful
day in San Diego and being near the water helped soothe her frayed nerves…well,
a little anyway.
She played the conversation with her mother over in her mind and as she thought
back on how Robb had been utterly disregarded to the point of being alienated,
Sansa realized that Robb was right. Their mother had laid out the worst case
scenario and had targeted her as the one she could get to. She supposed due to
her lack of memories, Catelyn didn’t see her as all that invested. Plus, there
was the fact that Robb had been away for so long and Sansa had rebuilt her life
without him around.
Plus, she was Daddy’s girl. Arya was, too, and quite frankly Sansa had always
thought Arya was the favorite. If she wanted to be honest, Sansa had always
felt rather separate from the rest of them and she had always chalked it up to
her amnesia, but maybe there was something else to it. Robb had talked about it
before, about how they’d always been separate or “apart” from the rest of the
family. Maybe that was how it happened. Together they had been a team, and
everyone else had been interlopers in some way.
What would life be like if she went back without Robb? The thought of it made
her shudder. Arya would make her life hell. Bran and Rickon…who knew? But her
mother would never let her alone. She’d maybe even put her in some kind of home
to get help for what she thought was a sickness. Her father…would he ever
understand? Would he be able to look at her the same way again? Would he just
see her as sick? As some kind of victim? And how much would that piss her off –
how much did it already piss her off to think that they saw Robb as some kind
of sick sexual deviant? She had been as much involved as he had been. She was
the one that had kissed him the first time. She was the one that had been
waiting for him in his bed when he’d returned from that disastrous double date.
She was the one that had done all the research to get them where they were.
You would never see Robb again.
That fact felt like a knife to her heart. If their mother had been diligent in
trying to keep them apart before, she would be downright militant now. So would
their Dad most likely.
Again, she thought of how Robb had been utterly alienated on the phone and she
grew even angrier. God, how had that felt for him? And then she’d gone and had
to think about it?
There was no life without Robb. He was her life. He was her everything.
It was then that Sansa realized she hadn’t had to think to make a decision. The
decision had already been made. She’d had to think to make peace with her
decision, and to make peace with the fact that yes, her family was going to
turn their backs on them.
When Robb had returned home it was as if he’d awoken her from a deep sleep. Her
life had been pleasant enough, if not a little boring, but she’d been content.
Then Robb had come home and though confusion had reigned supreme there for a
while, there was also the fact that she had fallen in love with him. Head over
heels, completely and utterly in love with him. The thought of not being able
to see him every day? Of not feeling his arms around her? Of not seeing his
smile and hearing his voice?
Life wouldn’t be worth living without Robb. Plus, how could she leave him alone
– how could she go knowing there was no hope for him to return to the family
fold? Nope. They were in this together, just as they had promised each other.
Sansa got up and practically ran back to the apartment. She was a woman on a
mission and she just wanted to get it over with so it wasn’t hanging over them
like a dark cloud. Her phone was on the coffee table, just as she’d left it.
Robb shuffled out of the bedroom just as Sansa picked up her phone and dialed
her mother.
Robb stood frozen in place, watching her. Sansa came over to him and kissed him
on the cheek just as her mother picked up.
“Sansa? I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon,” Catelyn said.
“I’d already made my choice when I left, Mom,” Sansa said, looking straight at
Robb as she spoke. “And just for the record, Robb didn’t force me into
anything. I was falling in love with him long before I’d even remembered I
loved him once before. I was the one that did the research on moving and what
it would entail. I wanted this, just as he did. You can think it’s about sex
all you want, but we know the truth and that’s all that matters. I am totally
butt-crazy in love with Robb, and I can’t leave him. I won’t. He is my
everything and the only thing I regret is making him doubt how much I love him
and need him and can’t live without him. I know you can’t understand, and I’m
not going to try. I love you, Mom, I do. And I love Dad and Arya, Bran, and
Rickon, but I’m not coming home and you can’t guilt me into doing so. My home
is with Robb.”
There was a long silence on Catelyn’s end of the phone, and in that time the
biggest smile Sansa had ever seen spread over Robb’s face.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Sansa,” Catelyn said. “You know how to reach me if you
change your mind and I hope you will.”
“I won’t. Goodbye, Mom.” Sansa’s voice shook, despite her stance.
“Goodbye, Sansa.”
The call ended and Sansa felt as if the weight she’d been carrying around had
left. She knew now what she was facing and now she and Robb just had to deal
with it. Their lives could begin now, or so it felt to her, now that they knew
what the story was from home.
“You meant that?” Robb asked.
She nodded. “I was out there on the pier and thinking about the family and what
life would be like without you… there isn’t a life without you, Robb. I don’t
think I really had to think about what I was going to do; I already knew. I
just had to make my peace with it so that I could put it behind me. That’s not
to say I won’t have my moments, but my life is with you. I love you. Please say
you believe that.”
He came over to her and kissed her, one hand on the side of her face. “I do
now.”
“You promised me something earlier…”
“What was that?”
“To take me to bed? Will you do that now?”
He smirked. "I don't know...I mean, that would make this all about sex,
wouldn't it?"
She smacked him playfully on the arm and laughed. He did, too, and then swooped
her up in his arms and carried her to bed.
Chapter End Notes
     So there's probably one chapter left to this...
     How do you guys feel about a sequel?
***** Epilogue *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Three Years Later
Wales, UK
“You must be very proud of your wife,” The principal of Sansa’s school said to
Robb as they stood together in the back of Sansa’s classroom.
It was a bit hectic at the moment with students and parents wanting to say
their goodbye’s to Sansa after the kindergarten graduation had wrapped up.
Sansa was a fabulous teacher just as Robb knew she would be, and the kids and
their parents loved her. And she loved them. Robb could tell she was trying not
to cry as she spoke with one of her favorite students. No doubt she was telling
them they could come and visit her anytime they wanted.
Robb smiled fondly as he watched her. “I am very proud of my wife.”
No, they hadn’t been able to have an official ceremony, but they had their own
on a beach in California shortly after purchasing wedding bands. After all
they’d been through, it didn’t matter to them that they couldn’t get
“officially” married. Their vows to each other meant just as much (if not more)
and were just as binding as any ceremony performed by a priest or JP.
It had been quite a journey for them. After spending two years in California
and getting what they needed to be able to live and work in the UK, they had
finally made the move. It had been exciting and yet nerve-wracking, but they’d
forged ahead and so far it had been a success.
Robb worked for a small but successful firm in Wales, and Sansa taught
kindergarten. They both enjoyed what they did and most of all, they enjoyed
coming home to each other in the evening. There was an even deeper freedom
living in Wales than there had been in California. Sansa had commented that
here, she felt like she could actually breathe. Robb agreed.
Shortly after Sansa had said goodbye to her mother in California, Arya had
started sending text messages to her that had just been downright cruel. So,
Robb decided it was time for them to get new numbers.
Robb knew it bothered Sansa that they did not hear from their mother or father
again, and truthfully it hurt him as well, but what could they do? Their life
was together and they were not about to give it up for anyone or anything.
Robb waited patiently for Sansa to say goodbye to her last student, and when
she did he took a watery-eyed Sansa in his arms and just held her while she
told him how she was going to miss her students.
“Come on, let’s get some dinner,” Robb said and kissed her forehead. “You must
be starving.”
She sighed and nodded. “I am.” She looked longingly around her classroom one
last time and then Robb led her out to the car.
They went to one of their favorite restaurants and Robb said nothing when Sansa
had more than one glass of wine. She deserved it, and if she got a little
tipsy, so what? She was allowed and she deserved it.
After dinner, they went home and Robb helped a giggly and wobbly Sansa up to
bed in the townhouse they were renting. She lay sprawled out on the bed while
Robb took off her shoes, and she watched him with a small smile on her face.
She held up her arms. “Come here, please.”
Robb grinned and crawled onto the bed and straight into her arms. He kissed her
sweetly again and again. Her eyes were shut and she had a dreamy smile on her
face. Robb ran his fingers through her hair and she popped her eyes open and
looked up at him.
“Sweetheart…” he began.
“Hmmm?”
“Does it bother you that we can’t have kids? I mean – do you want them?”
“It only bothers me when I think how you might want them. As for me? I like our
life as it is. I like it just being us. I have my kids during the day and then
I get to come home to you and we can do whatever we want. I like that. What
about you? Does it bother you that we can’t have them?”
“I won’t lie; I would love to have a little girl or boy that we made, but I
know the dangers involved in that.”
She frowned. “Is it something you can live without having?”
“I think we’ve already concluded that the only thing I can’t live without is
you, Sansa.”
He leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped him by putting a finger to his lips.
“Are you sure, Robb?”
He nodded. “Yes. I love our life, too. I’m not going to get greedy after all
we’ve been through. This, here, with you, is enough.” She didn’t look
convinced. “Sweetheart, I mean that. I only asked because I know how much you
loved your students. I didn’t know if a part of you was sorry that we couldn’t
have kids.”
She shook her head. “I am happy as we are.”
He smiled. “Me too. May I kiss you now?”
She broke into a wide smile and nodded.
Before he kissed her though, he muttered against her lips. “Say it.”
She giggled softly. “I love you, Robb.”
He smiled. “I love you, Sansa.” And then he finally kissed her.
The End
Chapter End Notes
     I cannot believe this is it. I loved writing this story so much. I
     love these two!!
     So, I have a couple ideas kicking around in my head for them and
     thought I'd ask what you guys think.
     1. A sequel to this in which an event forces Robb and Sansa home to
     face their family.
     2. A new story in which Robb and Sansa are the only ones left alive
     after a house fire. They cling to each other in their grief and
     perhaps hold on a little TOO tight and get a little TOO close because
     now they realize they only want each other...
     Thoughts?
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