Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7348156.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager, Levi/Erwin_Smith, Armin_Arlert/Eren_Yeager, Mikasa
      Ackerman/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager, Hange_Zoë, Armin_Arlert, Mikasa
      Ackerman, Erwin_Smith, Jean_Kirstein
  Additional Tags:
      vampire!levi, Vampire!Eren, Vampire!Hanji, Soulmates, Past_Lives, Sex,
      Lots_of_Sex, bottom!Eren, I_suck_at_tags, Lovey_Levi, Flashbacks, Slow
      Build, visions_of_the_past, Will_do_more_tags_later, Past_Levi/Erwin
      Smith, Past_Armin_Arlert/Eren_Yeager, Angst, Fluff, Betrayal, Pain,
      smart!Eren
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-06-30 Updated: 2017-01-24 Chapters: 7/? Words: 24562
****** I Hear His Heart ******
by JustABoy_(ThatAsher)
Summary
     Eren Jaeger is a 20-year-old college student with crippling anxiety
     that's plagued by a recurring nightmare...one where he dies in the
     arms of a mysterious man with raven hair. What will happen when this
     man suddenly walks into his waking life?
Notes
     Okay, I am going to post two chapters of this and see if you guys
     like it.
     If you do, I will gladly continue it.
     Note that the slow build occurs in the flashback sequences later on
     in the fic.
     Enjoy. :)
***** Because you're my baby, brat. *****
"Goddamnit, brat...wake the fuck up! No...god, no...please no...," the raven
pleaded, leaning over me as I looked through wet, heavy lids up at him. His
weird green cape was covered in blood and there were tears streaming down his
face, falling on my chest. He was panicked and grabbing at the fabric of my
shirt, shaking me as my eyes got heavier and the hysterical man above me went
out of focus.
 
"Heichou...it's over," a girl said, leaning over him and putting a hand on his
shoulder. Her bright eyes were sparkling with tears and she had blood
splattered all over her face.
 
"Fuck off!," the raven snarled, sounding almost inhuman, and the girl jumped a
mile back, quickly running out of my field of view. "Eren, baby...please don't
die on me...plea-"
 
It was pitch black.
 
*Beep Beep Beep Beep*
 
"Fuck," he groaned after he jolted awake. He threw the alarm clock against the
wall, effectively smashing it into a hundred pieces. Again. This was the third
clock since the dream started, but he couldn't help it. He hated the dream. He
hated it because it was so unbelievably real, and the second he woke up he'd
forget the faces in it. They say you only dream of people you've actually seen
before, and he'd wake up so sure they were people he knew and then forget the
faces before he could even process the situation.
 
"God, Eren...again?" His best friend and roommate Armin was standing at the
door, sleepily rubbing his eyes, still in the oversize sweatshirt he wears to
bed.
 
"I'm sorry...it's just driving me insane." He lazily lifted the blankets off,
shivering when the cold air met his bare skin. Even his boxers were thin, and
the apartment felt like a refrigerator. "I'll clean it up after class...I'm
probably going to be too fucking late to get my seat."
 
Armin sighed, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge. "I'm going to
clean it up, Eren. You are stressed, overworked, underfed, and haven't gotten
laid in god knows how long...leave the chores to me, okay?"
 
Eren just sighed, Armin was right. The little blond ran off into the kitchen
and Eren got out of bed, thanking god he showered last night, and pulled on the
first clean clothes he could find in his disaster of a room. He just ran his
fingers through his bedraggled hair, darting to the living room and getting his
backpack. Armin hastily tossed him a muffin, and Eren wordlessly thanked him
with a nod and ran out the door.
 
...
 
This was the class he head been dreading all week, Literature. It was October,
and their weird four-eyed professor had an entire lineup of 'experts' on
idiotic nonsense...werewolves, cannibal giants, banshees, bigfoot...you name
it, she knew someone who studied it for a living. Eren hated learning about
this stuff, it wasn't part of his major and nonsensical bullshit like ghosts
and monsters had never appealed to him. Sure, he was an art major, but he liked
drawing things that were actually real. He sulked into the lecture hall, making
sure to get there fast enough to be in the back row. He wanted to sleep, and
this is the best class to do it in. He pulled his hoodie off and waded it up on
his desk, preparing the makeshift pillow for when class started.
 
"MY LITTLE VICTIMS! Good afternoon," Dr. Zoe yelled excitedly, and Eren
groaned. She was always so fucking enthusiastic about everything, and he'd
never understand it. "As you all know, today is a very special day here in
LitLand...my very close friend will be talking to you about VAMPIRES! He'll be
here shortly." Eren just had to hold out a little longer, then he could sleep.
Finally. He was at work until 2:30 this morning and woke up at 6, he was
exhausted. "Okay, my precious little babies, I'd like to introduce Dr. Levi
Ackerman."
 
Eren didn't even bother looking up from picking his nails. As far as he was
concerned, this guy could go fuck himself. "Bunch of goddamn brats," a silky
male voice said angrily, and Eren's head snapped up immediately. Goddamnit,
brat...Eren, baby...don't die on me... He felt nauseous, overwhelmingly
nauseous, and he got up and bolted to the bathroom before he could even get a
look at the man. 
 
After attempting to wash the taste of half-digested lasagna from lunch and
stomach acid out of his mouth, he slumped down in the corner of the bathroom,
shaking. He had no idea what just happened, but that was the voice. It was him.
He didn't have to see him to know, not that he remembered the faces from the
dream anyway, but it was definitely this man. He felt a second wave of nausea,
but he just closed his eyes tightly until it passed. He pulled his phone out of
his pocket and dialed a number.
 
"Ar-Armin...I need one." He waited for Armin to respond and then hung up the
phone, dropping it to the floor and burying his face into his knees. He finally
let the sob out that had been stuck in his throat, and god it felt good. He was
quickly reduced to a shuddering mess on the floor, tears collecting in a puddle
on the cold concrete his head was laying on. He heard the bathroom door open,
and he quickly felt a hand on his shoulder.
 
"Shh, Eren...it's okay. I brought you your medicine and some juice," the little
blond said, carefully picking Eren up off the floor and leaning his back
against the wall, hanging on to his shoulders so he wouldn't tip over again. 
 
Eren quickly choked the sobs back, grabbing the juice and little blue pill from
Armin and swallowing it, happy to have something to get the awful taste out of
his mouth. "Armin...you're such a lifesaver," he sighed, body still shaking but
sobs under control. Armin just looked at him for a minute before sitting next
to him and running his hands through Eren's chocolaty locks. He leaned into the
touch, Armin's soft hands bringing waves of relief over him.
 
"Which class were you in? I'll grab your stuff and we'll go home."
 
Eren shook his head. "No, Armin. I'll go after class and get it, and apologize
to Dr. Zoe...she deserves an explanation and I probably disrupted class."
 
Armin sighed. "Okay. Let's get you to the library and settled in. There's an
hour and fifteen minutes of this class left."
 
...
 
Armin had brought Eren some cookies and a hot chocolate and left him on a
fluffy couch in the library. He was so thankful to have a friend like Armin,
especially now since his sister had moved to Japan for a year to finish
studying martial arts. She had always been his rock, ever since his mom had
died, and he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for her. Armin hadn't questioned
what set him off earlier, and if it wasn't for the Xanax he would have been
freaking out, because he knew that he was going to be interrogated when they
got back home. He had no idea what he'd say, he didn't even know why he freaked
out.
 
Well, he did, but he didn't want to explain it. He knew it was because the
dream was so vivid and real...and this man was in it. After his head had
cleared he decided to google Dr. Levi Ackerman, and he was rather surprised
with the results. There wasn't a single photo of him, but there were a ton of
articles. Eren cautiously clicked on one and read it, apparently Dr. Ackerman
wasn't a historian, but a musician and composer, and a rather famous one at
that.
 
Eren wondered why a doctor of musical arts would be giving a lecture about
vampires, but he quickly put the thought to bed, knowing that he would never
have an answer. If his voice had made Eren panic that badly, he could only
imagine what seeing him would do, so he was going to let it rest and try to
forget about it. He finally felt good enough to eat the cookies Armin had
brought, so he quickly dug into them and enjoyed the sweet chocolate chips as
they melted onto his tongue. He glanced up at the clock and saw it was almost
time to go apologize to Dr. Zoe.
 
He got up and threw his trash in the bin, walking back down the winding halls
until he came to his Lit classroom. He warily peeked in to make sure Dr.
Ackerman had left, and it looked like he had, so he cautiously stepped inside.
"Dr. Zoe..."
 
"Oh god, Eren...I was so worried about you!," she whined, motioning him to sit
in front of her desk.
 
"I'm okay," he began as he sat down, "just a panic attack. I'm so, so sorry for
disrupting the class and missing the...speaker." That last word was hard for
him to spit out, and Dr. Zoe noticed.
 
"Did Levi scare you?"
 
"No...no, nothing like that." He was sort of lying, Dr. Ackerman had scared
him, but it wasn't his fault. "I'm just stressed out is all."
 
She obviously didn't buy it. "He's still here, Eren. You need to tell me if he
triggered it so I can lock him out while we talk. He just went to get tea." She
was looking at him with kind eyes, and he was a lot less annoyed with her now.
He always went too hard on her, she was just an excitable person.
 
"Can we talk before I meet him, at least?" She nodded and went to the door,
scribbling something on a sticky note and putting it on the outside before she
locked it. 
 
She sat down and leaned on her elbows on her desk, expression soft and tender.
"Tell me what's going on, Jaeger."
 
"Well, I don't really know how to explain it...I keep having this nightmare,
and I think Dr. Ackerman might be in it. I can't ever remember his face in the
dream, and I honestly didn't even look at it today, but that voice...it's
without a doubt the one in my dreams."
 
"What happens in the dream?"
 
"I...I think I die."
 
She nodded understandingly. "Well, I know what's going on...but it'll overwhelm
you. I want you to try to meet him, if you think you can, then I'll slowly tell
you what's happening. I don't want to make you have another panic attack
today." Eren was utterly confused, and apparently his face showed it. "Honey,
don't stress about it just yet. Meet Levi, then we'll go from there."
 
"Okay...I need to call Armin first, he has my medication...just in case it sets
off another one." She nodded and he called Armin, who quickly came and gave Dr.
Zoe a little blue pill.
 
"Why does Mr. Arlert keep your medicine?"
 
"I made a big mistake, Dr. Zo-"
 
"Please, call me Hanji," she beamed, smiling brightly at him.
 
"Okay, Hanji...I made a big mistake when I first started them, took too many
too often, ended up in rehab. I still don't trust myself not to abuse them, so
Armin is kind enough to keep them safe for me."
 
She just stared at him for a minute, perplexed. "...that's very mature, Eren.
Good for you. Think you're ready to meet Levi?"
 
"Well...I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." He was so far from ready that he
just decided to bear with it. If anything happened then he could take his pill
and go home, or so he told himself. He broke into a cold sweat as Hanji left
the room to go find Dr. Ackerman. He went back to the desk where he had left
his stuff and grabbed it, pulling his hoodie on and putting the hood on his
head, far enough down that he couldn't see anything. He was terrified, of the
potential panic attack and the man. In the dream he was always intimidating. 
 
Eren curled up in the seat, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his
arms around them. He felt stupid, sitting here like a toddler because he was
scared of a man he's never met. He didn't even know if he was scared of him or
just of the dream, and it occurred to him that this man had called him 'baby,'
like they were lovers or something. The more he thought, the more intrigued he
became, and the more the fear faded away. He was just a man, and it was just a
dream. His thoughts were interrupted by a conversation he could hear through
the door.
 
"...know anything?"
 
"No, and you need to control yourself...he's afraid, and this life hasn't
treated him much better than the last."
 
"He...he won't even fucking know me...shitty glasses, I can't, my heart already
broke onc-"
 
"Levi. Stop. This has to happen and you know it, now shut the fuck up and
behave."
 
Eren bit his lip, what was she talking about lives and controlling himself? He
just needed to be strong, survive this, then someone would have to explain what
the hell was going on. The door opened slowly, and Hanji peeked her head in.
"Eren, are you still okay with this?" He just nodded, still curled into a ball
and chewing nervously on his lip. She looked at him with obvious concern, but
still pushed the door all the way open and stepped inside, a raven haired man
following her.
 
Eren felt something in his gut, but this time is wasn't nausea. As soon as he
looked at the short, pale man in front of him, he felt nothing but butterflies.
He released his lip and took in what he was seeing. The memories of the dream
flooded back, and it was definitely him, but there was no blood and no tears.
His onyx black hair was perfectly styled, not one strand out of place, and he
was wearing black slacks and a red button up shirt, his gray tie undone and
lazily hanging around his neck. He looked like a model, shirt tightly squeezing
his toned arms, face stoic and angular, gray eyes piercing. Eren felt his heart
race faster than it ever had, and his cheeks heated up almost instantly.
 
"Eren, this is Levi Ackerman." Hanji stepped out of the way and leaned on her
desk.
 
"Um...I'm Eren," he said shyly, letting go of his knees. He put his feet on the
floor and pulled his hood off, no longer completely afraid of the beautiful man
in front of him. "S-sorry I ran out on your lecture, Dr. Ackerman."
 
"I know who you are, and don't fucking call me that. You call me Levi," the
raven spit, making Eren cower back into the seat. He felt tears drip down his
cheeks, and he pulled his hood back up. He didn't dare look at the man, not
like this, falling apart.
 
"LEVI! You fucking idiot! He has no clue who you are! This isn't 850 anymore,
but you know how to treat him. It may have been a thousand years, but I know
you still read those letters," Hanji yelled, and Eren, once again, was
completely fucking lost. "He's the same stubborn, hot-headed cadet you fell in
love with, but you have to make him remember. We talked about this, you fucking
stup-"
 
"Um...I'm r-really lost," Eren chimed in quietly, and the two of them turned to
face him. He pulled his hood farther over his face, trying to avoid their
gazes.
 
Levi ran a hand through his raven locks and sighed. "You're fucking right,
Hanji," he said, walking closer to Eren. He instinctively jumped out of the
chair, taking a place behind it and cowering on the floor away from him.
"Eren...baby. I didn't mean to scare you...I want to explain everything, I'm
just...overwhelmed."
 
"W-why are you calling me that?" It was exactly the same as the dream, down to
the tone of his voice when he said it, and Eren hadn't told a soul about that
part. He was starting to wonder if he was going insane.
 
"Because you're my baby, brat. I lost you once and I refuse to do it again," he
said, offering a hand to Eren. He shakily took it, and the strong raven easily
lifted him to his feet. "Can I hug you? Please?"
 
The question was weird, but Eren felt something in his chest that was urging
him to, like he'd fall apart inside if he didn't do it. "Y-yes."
 
He was immediately in the arms of this man, who had his ear pressed against
Eren's chest and arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He smelled like a late
spring storm, like rain and honeysuckle, Eren's favorite smell in the world.
"Oh my fucking god, Hanji...he's really here. It's really him." Eren didn't
know what to do, so he just stood and let the strange man hold him. If he was
being completely honest, for some reason this felt so right...he just wanted to
melt into the beautiful, strong arms around him and stay there forever.
 
"Levi, you already knew it was him by his scent, you stu-"
 
"...but I hear his heart," he began, voice full of wonder, "it's beating
exactly the way did the last night we were together..." He looked up at Eren
with wide eyes, like he had just won the lottery or something. He just stared,
his steely gray eyes boring a hole into Eren's. "Your eyes...there's nothing in
this whole shitty world that's as fucking breathtaking as your eyes,
Eren...I've searched all over for something that even comes close, but nothing
ever fucking does. Every little golden sparkle is exactly the same...god,
you're so beautiful."
 
"That's better, grumpypants...that's the way I remember it being. I think
you've scared the hell out of him, though." She was right, Eren was completely
flushed and shaking a little.
 
Levi let go, letting his hands take their time leaving Eren's rigid body. "I'm
sorry...I'm sure you're confused and probably fucking terrified. If you'll
agree to come to dinner with me I'll explain everything."
 
"...and don't worry, I'll be coming too. I'm not leaving him alone with you
until you feel comfortable with it," Hanji chimed in, smiling sweetly at Eren.
 
He had no choice, he needed to know what the hell was happening. "Sure...but I
think I need that other Xanax, Hanji."
***** We Never Died. *****
Eren was doped up enough to get in a car with his insane professor and a
stranger that seemed to be obsessed with him, and they were driving to a
restaurant. Hanji had taken the backseat of Levi's Range Rover and let Eren sit
up front, Levi driving and keeping a very close eye on him. He felt a strange
mixture of fear and flattery, it was absolutely undeniable that he was the most
attractive person that he'd ever seen, celebrity or otherwise, but he had
literally met him an hour ago. He was on enough Xanax that his head was clear
and no longer buzzing with anxiety, so he hoped he'd get some answers out of
them.
 
They parked in a lot, and the only thing Eren saw was a little building, what
look like a shed, and if he wasn't so doped up he would have thought he was
going to lose his kidneys. Levi parked, quickly getting out and opening Eren's
door for him. Eren involuntarily blushed, it was a sweet gesture and he wasn't
used to things like it. Hanji lead the group over to the little building, and
she knocked.
 
"Passphrase," a voice said firmly through a slit in the door.
 
"Sanguis enim eorum pro anima," Hanji said, giggling. Eren was even more
confused, and it seemed like the longer he waited for answers, the more
questions he had.
 
"Come on in, sister, but keep an eye on your human...we're pretty busy
tonight," he whispered, so Eren didn't hear. The door clicked open and Hanji
hurried them inside. Much to Eren's surprise, the building was housing
a spiral staircase that plunged straight down into a monstrous cavern-turned-
fine-dining-establishment. It was lit by hundreds of candles, and the soft,
flickering light was tranquil and disarming. 
 
He was walking between Levi and Hanji as she led them through the mass of
patrons to a tunnel that branched off from the crowded main cavern. She told
the man at the end of said tunnel that she had reservations, and he let them
pass. The room they walked into was beautifully lit, boasting a
brilliant chandelier and scones lining the walls. 
 
There was a single table in the center, a round one, with three chairs and
fancy place settings, and a loveseat and couch lining the far wall. There was a
bottle of some kind of wine in an ice bucket in the center. "Well, come on
guys, sit!" Eren and Levi obeyed, and Hanji opened the wine, pouring a glass
for herself and Levi. "Sorry, kiddo. Booze and Xanax don't mix."
 
"It's fine, I wouldn't have accepted it anyway," he said confidently. He knew
not to drink with his meds.
 
"You're so much more responsible than I remember, Eren," she said lazily, eyes
spaced out in deep thought. Levi snapped in her face and she came back to
reality. "I've already ordered for everyone, so we can start this little
discussion...Eren, I'm going to need you to be as open-minded as possible,
okay?"
 
"Um, of course, but...am I like...reincarnated or something? That's the only
conclusion I can reach." He was confident in that, even though this morning he
would have scoffed at the very concept, but he now realized that his dream
wasn't really a dream...it was a memory.
 
"You're even smarter now than you were then, bien-aimé," the raven purred, and
Eren blushed. "God...and your fucking pink cheeks...I never thought I'd see
that beautiful blush aga-"
 
"Levi, shut the hell up...I know you're puppy-eyed, but you're going to
embarrass the kid to death!"
 
"Tch. Fine." Levi laid back in his seat and sipped the glass of wine, eyes
never once leaving Eren.
 
"Eren, you're right. You lived a life before this one," Hanji said, putting a
hand on Eren's that was resting on the table. "Levi was your fiancé then."
 
Eren had figured that they had history, but he was even more confused. "How
long ago was this life? You said...a thousand years..."
 
"Actually more like 1,600 years," Levi said dryly, still watching Eren
intently, like he thought he was going to disappear any second.
 
"How do you guys remember that life so well? I only have one memory and it's
that short dream."
 
They looked at one another, seemingly having some kind of wordless
conversation. "Remember to be open-minded, okay?," Hanji said gently as she
turned back to face Eren.
 
"Yes, of course."
 
"We never died," she said.
 
"Wait, you're telling me that you're over 1,600 yea-...oh." His voice trailed
off as he put the pieces together in his head.
 
"Eren, what's wrong, baby?," Levi asked, jolting up in his seat, voice filled
with concern.
 
"You two are...fucking vampires. It all makes sense now...I googled it, Levi's
a doctor of music, he had no business lecturing about vampires...unless he was
one." Eren pinched the bridge of his nose, unable to believe that this was
happening, and equally unable to believe that it wasn't. The dream was proof,
undeniable proof that his previous denial of the supernatural was wrong. He
shook his head, looking up and turning to the raven. "Levi...bare your fangs."
 
"What?," he asked uneasily, obviously stunned by the sudden command.
 
Eren didn't really care. "I need to see them to believe it. This is all
insane."
 
"Of course, baby...just don't get scared." Eren nodded, but before the raven
could do it a waiter brought out a huge plate of beautifully arranged sushi and
sashimi, and Eren hadn't realized how hungry he was until he saw it.
 
Both Hanji and Levi stared at him expectantly. "Do you guys eat...normal
food?," he asked sheepishly, breaking the silence and hoping it would break
their gazes.
 
"Of course, silly...so hurry the hell up and get what you want. I'm STARVING!,"
Hanji sang excitedly, and Levi just rolled his eyes. Eren picked several things
off the plate, greedily shoving a piece of tuna in his mouth and letting out a
satisfied hum. Hanji was piling food on her plate, and Levi was staring at Eren
with a soft smile, seemingly just enjoying watching him eat. "See Levi? He
still eats the same, too," she said, laughing.
 
"Yeah...he does," Levi cooed, voice low and smooth, making Eren blush a little.
He turned back to his food and drowned some squid in soy sauce and hastily
chewed it.
 
"Levi, you hungry?"
 
"No, shitty glasses. I'm fine."
 
"Well," Eren said, pausing his ravenous eating, "show me your fangs, then."
 
He looked over at the raven, who actually looked kind of nervous. He closed his
eyes tightly and waited a moment, then opened his mouth, revealing something
that should have been utterly terrifying, but somehow wasn't for Eren. He
definitely had fangs, but it wasn't like the cute little fangs you see in the
movies...there were four razor-sharp teeth on the top and two on the bottom.
Eren's breath caught in his throat as he looked at the impressive shredders,
trying to get his brain to accept that all of this is real. Levi kept his eyes
closed tightly until they fully retracted. "Are you afraid of me, baby?"
 
"No, I'm not...I highly doubt you're going to suck me dry," Eren said, voice
slightly unsteady, "but her, on the other hand..." He pointed to Hanji, who was
devouring her sushi like a rabid dog.
 
"Oh shut up, Eren! I love you just as much as Levi does, but without all the
weird sex in the barracks, and the stables, and the supply closet, and on
Erwin's des-"
 
"Shitty glasses, fucking can it," the raven spit, and Eren was blushing red as
a tomato. Did he really have sex with this guy? The most attractive person he's
ever met? He guessed it was the truth, seeing that they had been engaged at one
point. "I'm sorry, Eren. She doesn't know when to shut the fuck up."
 
Eren finished everything on his plate and turned to Levi, locking eyes with the
beautiful man next to him. "Is there any possible way you can make me
remember?"
 
He had hope so badly that the raven would say yes...the attraction he felt to
him wasn't just physical, it was like his heart was clawing it's way out of his
chest to get to him. It was the most bizarre thing ever had ever experienced,
but his entire body was tingly and he felt so warm inside when he looked at
him. "Yes."
 
Eren felt his heart skip a beat. "Levi, do it."
 
"I...it isn't that simple, baby." Eren's face fell, and it felt like someone
had punched him in the chest. "Hanji, help me explain."
 
"Eren...the life you lived before...it was full of horrors. You lost everything
you loved, except Levi here. We don't want you to remember it...it was a world
full of real monsters." 
 
Eren wasn't about to accept that. "...but this isn't your goddamn decision, is
it? It's mine, and I want to know what the fuck happened," he spit, expecting
them to be angry, but they both smiled. "What? Is this fucking funny to you?"
 
"Of course not, baby...it just reminds me of when we first met. You were an
angry little shit then, too. You haven't changed a bit," the raven purred,
looking into Eren's eyes with a somehow familiar fondness that warmed the
brunette's heart.
 
"Yeah, he kinda has, he's actually old enough to marry you this time," Hanji
said, laughing. The raven flipped her off, and she quickly regained her
composure, turning back to him. "Levi, he's right," she said firmly. "It's his
decision. If he wants to know, then you should show him." She turned to Eren,
with a serious expression he wasn't used to seeing on her, "just know that what
you'll see is much more tragic than the things you've faced in this life,
Eren."
 
Eren looked down at his hands, trying to decide if he could even handle this.
He wanted so badly to know, but he was afraid. Afraid that whatever pain he
suffered would haunt him day and night like the pain in this life did. He
looked back up at Levi, who was just looking at him, admiring him, and he knew
he had to do it. Whatever the tragedy was, this man was hopelessly in love with
him, had searched the world for a thousand years for him, and he wanted to be
his. "I need you to do this, Levi. I need to remember you."
 
The raven looked shocked, like he hadn't expected him to still want it, but he
quickly composed himself and nodded. "It'll take some time, about a week...and
you'll need to stay with me at my house. I'll take care of you, I promise."
 
"I know," Eren said, and somehow he did know. It was unexplainable, but he felt
safe with this vampire stalker. "I'll have to make up an excuse to my roommate
and one for work."
 
"Don't worry, my little peachy peach," Hanji said, "I'll take care of Arlert."
 
"Wait, Armin Arlert?" Levi looked puzzled, and Eren wondered how the hell he
knew Armin's name.
 
"Yeah, it actually seems like the entire 104 is back. Must be fate tying them
together," she replied, nodding.
 
"...or a new threat."
 
"Levi, don't fucking think like that," she spit angrily.
 
"When will you show me?," Eren said, interrupting whatever Levi was about to
yell back at her. He didn't feel like listening to them talk about things he
didn't understand when they could just show him. 
 
"There's another catch," he began, catching his head in his hands and sighing,
"you...you'll turn, Eren."
 
"Turn? As in turn into...one of you?" As much as he felt like he should be
vehemently opposed to the idea, he wasn't...he was more intrigued than
anything. "Tell me everything, then. Everything about being a vampire."
 
"OH MY FAVORITE SUBJECT!," Hanji yelled, almost jumping out of her chair.
"Well, first thing, we obviously can go out in the sun. It makes us feel kind
of crappy, sort of like being human again, but it's very bearable."
 
"So being a vampire makes you better than a human?"
 
"Duh, Eren, or no one would do it," she said, rolling her eyes. "We're faster,
stronger, and a lot more perceptive than them when the sun sets...and the
immortality thing." Eren nodded and let her continue. "There are
other...special abilities...that can come with it, too, but it's never certain
until you've turned. I have no exceptional gifts, but Levi does. He'll tell you
about them when he's ready to."
 
"Fair enough. What about the, you know, blood thing?"
 
"We have to feed or we die," Levi said dryly, and Eren tensed up.
 
"...but we have plenty of very willing donors to feed from, so no one has to
get hurt. I actually don't think I've met a vampire in the past 150 years
that's killed for a meal."
 
"Why the fuck would someone want to be a donor? Doesn't it hurt?," Eren asked,
rather shocked that anyone would volunteer to be bitten with fangs like Levi's.
 
Hanji opened her mouth to speak, but Levi beat her to it. "I could let shitty
glasses try to explain why, or...I could show you," he purred seductively.
 
Eren felt his cheeks light on fire as the raven's sparkling gray orbs traveled
down his body. "Um...will it hurt?"
 
"No."
 
"Are we going to do it here?"
 
"Yes."
 
"ANNNNDD on that note I'll be going to the bar," Hanji said loudly as she stood
up. "I'm not interested in seeing Eren get wrecked and moan like a cheap
whore." She left, disappearing down the tunnel and leaving a very confused,
sort of terrified Eren alone with the strange raven.
 
"You sure about this, baby?," the raven cooed, voice soft and disarming.
 
"Well...yeah, I'm sure...just nervous."
 
Levi stood up, walking over to the entryway of the small cavernous room they
were in and pulled a big curtain over it. He turned back around and motioned
for Eren to come over to him. He hesitantly stood and walked over to Levi, who
was obviously holding back a grin. "Don't be nervous, le bien adoré...it won't
hurt."
 
"O-okay," he managed to stutter out, breathless as he watched Levi get closer
to him, putting one hand on his waist and one on his cheek.
 
"You have no idea how long I've waited to touch this beautiful face again...,"
he purred, "you're so perfect. Just let go of everything, I'm here to take care
of you." He rubbed his thumb over Eren's flushed cheek, and he could help but
feel so perfectly comfortable in his moment. The touch was like listening to
the ocean, it put him at ease and put a lazy smile on his lips. "Are you ready,
Eren?"
 
"Yes." The reply was quick and sure, because Eren knew he wanted this. He
wanted Levi to use him, to taste him. Levi pulled Eren's hoodie and shirt off
in one quick motion, dropping them onto the floor, then lifted his own off,
exposing his perfectly muscular torso.
 
The raven pulled Eren up against his body, making him shudder all over. He
smirked, leaning into the brunette's ear. "I love you, brat," he whispered,
letting a fang drag along the edge of his earlobe. Then Eren felt the tiniest
pinch on his neck, followed by the biggest rush of pure euphoria he'd ever
experienced. It hit him so hard that he collapsed into Levi's arms, the raven
still latched onto his neck. He felt like every good emotion that he'd ever
experienced was amplified by a hundred and shot through him all at once, making
his head spin and his knees weak. He felt the fangs in his neck, and Levi's
soft lips drinking the blood from his vein, but it didn't hurt at all. Every
draw brought on a new wave of pleasure, and Eren moaned loudly.
 
After what seemed like a second and an eternity at the same time, Levi pulled
his fangs out of his neck, a guttural growl escaping his lips. Eren's body was
limp, so the raven scooped him up bridal style and carried him over to the
loveseat, sitting and pulling him onto his lap, gently laying his head on the
arm of the chair. Eren groggily opened his eyes, and the eyes he was staring
into were foreign ones. Sure, they were on Levi's face, but they were a
brilliant, vivid amethyst instead of gray. The color was so bright that it was
glowing, irises glistening with the depth of a faceted diamond. "L-
Levi...eyes," he managed to groan out through ragged breaths.
 
"I forgot to warn you, they change when we feed," he said, lazily licking the
blood from his lips. His fangs were already retracted, but his eyes were still
that beautiful incandescent amethyst.
 
Eren's high was fading, and he became aware of the starling amount of blood
dripping down his torso. He looked back up at Levi, with his crimson stained
lips and dazzling eyes, and his mind was made up. He was going to let him turn
him. "Are everyone's eyes so incredible?"
 
Levi shook his head, running a finger over Eren's bloodied chest and licking it
clean. "As far as I know, I'm the only one that doesn't turn black or
red...your blood tastes fucking amazing, by the way."
 
Eren would have blushed if it wasn't for the sudden blood loss he'd just
endured, and he was aroused beyond belief. "Then finish licking it off,
weirdo."
 
"You are definitely my shitty brat," he said, smiling. "Sit up, straddle me."
Eren complied, adjusting himself on Levi's lap so he wouldn't notice his raging
boner. The raven quickly dove in, licking around the wound first and making his
way all over Eren's chest. He was thorough, running his supple tongue over
Eren's smooth skin to remove every drop of blood. Eren was a shuddering mess on
top of him, soft moans escaping his lips as Levi's tongue flicked over his pert
nipples, and he dug his fingers into the raven's shoulders. "Baby, don't get
too worked up...shitty glasses will probably be interrupting us any second."
 
Eren groaned, leaning up against Levi's body and laying his head on the raven's
shoulder. "Levi, I want you to turn me. I'm sure of it now."
 
"Okay," he said, wrapping his arms around Eren's lean body. "What made you
sure?"
 
"Because I love you and I don't know why. I want to know the story of us, even
the ugly parts."
 
"Goddamnit, Eren...I'm so glad you said that," he said, squeezing Eren tightly,
"I was so worried that you would never remember me, or fucking reject me,
or...god, nevermind, I can hear your heartbeat and that's all I need. I love
you so fucking much. I've waited for so long to have you back."
 
"We need to plan when you'll turn me, I have to get someone to cover for me at
work," he said, lifting his head and watching the color drain from Levi's eyes.
 
"Where do you work?"
 
Eren didn't want to tell him the truth, but he figured that a lie would only
make everything more fucked up and complicated. "I...I'm a stripper."
 
Levi's now dim, gray eyes looked into Eren's, and he had expected to be yelled
at, but Levi just sighed. "Are you struggling for money?"
 
"No...not now, at least," he said, and it was true. He made a lot of money at
the club.
 
Levi pushed his messy brown hair out of his face. "If you're happy doing it,
then I'm happy for you, but if you don't like it I'll support you. Always."
 
Eren just stared at him. He wasn't sure what to say, or do, or even think
anymore. "BOYS! Are you two fucking?!," Hanji called down the tunnel. 
 
Levi chuckled, helping Eren up and getting his shirt and jacket for him. "No,
shitty glasses."
 
She pulled the curtain back and stepped inside, looking expectantly at Eren.
"So, how'd it feel?"
 
"It felt...really fucking good," he said shyly.
 
"Now you see why people want to be donors. Now, when you're newly turned you'll
go into a bloodlust. That's why grumpypants is going to have to keep you for a
week, so he can feed you and you won't kill anyone," she said, and Eren
swallowed hard.
 
"Um...okay, that sounds fine, I guess...what about my memory?"
 
She sat on the couch and stretched out, kicking her feet up. "Well, I'm not
100% sure. I know the memories will come back, but everyone's experience is
different. They might come back all at once like they'd always been there, or
overwhelm you like a long ass movie played at warp speed, or they may come back
in fragments...everyone I've spoken to had said something a little different."
 
"Okay...what are you going to tell Armin?"
 
"Oh, I'm going to take off work and say we're on an educational trip! Your
loverboy is gonna need someone to bring him more bloodbags when you suck all of
them dry, anyways. How bout you go home and rest, get packed and tell Armin
what's up, and I'll get someone to cover your shift at work. I have a friend
who would love to strip for a bunch of horny 20-somethings," she said,
giggling.
 
"I'm not taking my fucking eyes off him until he turns, shitty glasses," Levi
growled, glaring at her.
 
"Fine, fine...Eren, is it okay if Levi sneaks in your bedroom window and
watches you sleep like a fucking creep?"
 
"I guess...don't you guys sleep?"
 
"Sleep is optional. We can, and it's enjoyable, but it isn't necessary," Levi
said, letting out a sigh of relief. "Come on, let's get you in bed, brat."
***** Vampires are lusty creatures. *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren makes a final decision.
Chapter Notes
     Yay another chapterrrrr.
     Finally getting near the potatoes of the story.
     I'd say meat but I don't eat meat so it's potatoes.
     Enjoy. ;)
Eren woke up to Levi's lazy breathing in his ear as he laid beside him on the
bed, turned on his side, staring at him. Eren jumped a little, and it took him
a second to remember what was happening, but he calmed down and laid back down.
"Good morning, my beautiful brat. Sorry I startled you."
 
"Nngh...s'okay," he groaned, stretching lazily.
 
Levi smiled softly. "You wake up the same fucking way as you did then, too.
Well, apart from the fact that you usually woke up fucking sprawled on top of
me," he said, chuckling at the fond memory.
 
Eren yawned and turned over to face him. "That so, old man?"
 
"Yeah. It is."
 
"How do you remember all of this so well? I'm sure you have woken up next to a
lot of people since the-"
 
"Never," he said firmly. "You were the first and you'll be the last,
Eren." Eren blushed and pulled the blanket over his head, trying to avoid
Levi's gaze. "I mean it. You are the only one for me. I knew that 1600 years
ago, and I know it now."
 
"How did we meet?," Eren asked shyly as he poked his head back out from under
the blanket.
 
"You'll remember soon, brat."
 
"No, I want you to tell me about it now," he said, sticking his lip out in the
cutest pout he could muster.
 
"I used to bite that little lip when you did that, Jaeger," the raven purred
darkly, making Eren flush even redder. "Fine. I met you while you were locked
in a cage under a courthouse."
 
"Wait...what?"
 
"To make a long story short, I was a lance corporal in the military and you
were a cadet, you did something...strange...and you were facing execution. My
commander and I came there to get custody of you, so you'd live. I had to do
something I've never fucking forgiven myself for to save you, but it worked and
you forgave me. I fought what I felt for a while, but you made it fucking
impossible for me to ignore you. You'll remember everything soon," he said,
voice strained, like the words physically hurt him to say.
 
"I'm anxious to be filled in. I can't believe I was in the fucking military."
 
"You would make the same decision if the situation repeated itself, you
stubborn little fuck. Now, get up and shower and get packed. I'll be right
here, and don't worry, if fucking Arlert comes in I'll hide." Eren groggily got
up and staggered to the shower, turning it on and washing himself as quickly as
possible. He just wanted to remember this epic sounding life he lived before.
He jumped out and dried off while he was brushing his teeth, and he noticed
that the bite mark from yesterday was nearly completely healed. He was glad,
that was one thing he really didn't want to explain to Armin. He pulled his
clothes on, just jeans and a t shirt as usual, and went back into his room. 
 
Levi was sitting on the bed, reading one of the many books Eren had strewn
around his messy room, this one about the history of art romanticizing death.
"Learning anything, Dr. Ackerman?"
 
"Not particularly...I was around when most of these were painted," he said
dryly. "Not that I paid it much mind."
 
Eren looked at him and raised an eyebrow curiously. "What did you do all those
years?"
 
"Well," he began, closing the book and putting it on the bed next to him," if
we're being completely fucking honest, I slept for most of the first 900 or so
years, I only got up to feed. I didn't think I'd be able to fucking live with
myself after what happened...then stupid ass shitty glasses found me, I didn't
even know she got turned, and she dragged me around for a while. Then I visited
a town in Romania...yes, ironic, I know...and the old gypsy spirit woman, sort
of like a shaman or some shit, explained that you'd be back eventually. Then I
started looking for you."
 
Eren finished throwing a weeks worth of clothes into a suitcase and turned to
Levi. "I must have really been something, then." His voice was weak, and he
felt an unfamiliar insecurity rise up in him. What if he wouldn't live up to
Levi expectations? It wasn't like he'd accomplished anything in this life. He
was a broke college student with crippling anxiety, a temper that rivaled a
hornet's, and he still lived with his best friend and sister.
 
Levi's voice immediately softened into a lulling coo. "Baby, you still are.
Don't be upset, when we get home everything will make sense."
 
"I hope so," he said, dejected. "I gotta go tell Armin I'm leaving, do you want
me to distract him so you can get out?"
 
"No, I came in the window, and I can get out of it...if I spend another fucking
second in this filthy room I'll scream anyway."
 
"Have it your way. Meet you at the car." He carried his suitcase out of his
room, dumping it on the couch and knocking on Armin's door.
 
"It's open."
 
Eren turned the knob and pushed it open, stepping in to find Armin laying on
his bed, studying. Eren couldn't help but admire him, so hardworking and
incredibly smart. He could easily pass without even trying, but he threw
himself entirely into anything he did. He was envious of that trait. He often
lacked motivation when it came to anything but his art. "Hey, Ar. I'm gonna be
gone for the next week."
 
His head snapped up from the book, soft blue eyes searching Eren's face for
clues of his mood. Eren knew the little blond could read him like a book, and
he always had to be on his A game to lie to him. "What do you mean gone?
Where?"
 
"Dr. Zoe wants to take me to an art exhibit. It's an installment at a gallery
in Atlanta that she found, it's death themed."
 
Armin's face softened, and Eren knew that he had bought the lie. He cheered
internally at his small victory. "That woman loves you, Eren. Have fun, I'll
get your medicine for you. Promise you'll give it to her as soon as you see
her, okay?"
 
Eren rolled his eyes, "promise, Ar-mom."
 
"Seriously...have fun for once. You deserve a break."
 
...
 
By the time they had pulled up to Levi's house, Eren was trembling a little in
the seat of the spacious Range Rover, but he wasn't afraid of turning. He was
afraid that he wasn't the perfect person that Levi had remembered him to be. He
didn't want to be away from him, his heart already ached at the two foot gap
between their bodies in the car, and he couldn't imagine trying to get over
this man he never remembered falling for in the first place. His mind was
racing and he felt like he was going to fall apart at any second. He didn't
even notice the car had stopped. "Baby?"
 
He was snapped out of his thoughts. "Shit...sorry."
 
"Are you having second thoughts? We don't have to d-"
 
"No, Levi...of course not." He meant that, he wanted this, he just didn't want
to get rejected.
 
Levi sighed and looked at him, gray eyes attempting to search the brunette's
downturned face. "Let's go inside, I'll get you settled in and we'll talk,
okay?"
 
"Okay." Eren hadn't even looked up from his hands, but when he did his mouth
fell open. They were up on a huge hill, and Levi's house was massive. It made
Eren think of a castle or something, it was Victorian style and dark gray,
definitely fitting for a vampire. There was a fountain in the yard with a
sculpture in the center, one that looked to be people piled around some sort of
obelisk. The water dripped from their throats, a truly morbid, beautiful
display that Eren could appreciate.
 
His favored subject in his art was death, ironically, since he was about to
turn into a being that was free from it. He had always been fascinated by every
aspect of it, from the act itself, to the decay of the remains, even
the mourning of the survivors. He stepped out of the car and walked closer,
admiring the exquisite detail of the figures. "I had it commissioned," Levi
said as he walked over to join Eren by the grotesque masterpiece.
 
"It's fucking fantastic," the brunette said, wonder filling his voice as he
stared. "Who did it?"
 
Levi chuckled, raising an eyebrow at the brunette. "You'd never fucking believe
me if I told you, brat."
 
"Try me."
 
"Auguste Rodin."
 
Eren's head snapped around to look at Levi. "You are so full of shit."
 
"Told you...he was actually a friend," Levi said matter-of-factly, "...not that
I could fucking stand to be in his house. Place was fucking filthy."
 
"Are you some sort of clean freak or something?"
 
Levi laughed, running a hand through his hair. "I keep forgetting you don't
remember me. Yeah, I have a pretty wicked case of OCD. When we were in the
fucking Survey Corps I used to make you mop the barracks over and over until
you did it right. Right to my standard."
 
"I'm assuming it's a high one?"
 
"Damn right. You fucking hated it."
 
"So this was really done by Rodin? That's fucking incredible." Eren was
still marveling at the detail, even down to the wounds on their skin. Some were
missing limbs, some were contorted into inhuman positions, some were torn
almost in half...it was lovely.
 
"You'll have plenty of time to gawk at it later, let's get you settled in and
I'll make you something to eat." Eren nodded, and despite his repeated protests
Levi carried his stuff inside. When they got through the door Eren finally
understood the extent of Levi's OCD. The huge entryway was immaculate, from
the ceiling to the impossibly shiny tile floor. There wasn't a speck of dust
anywhere, not even floating in the air. Eren felt out of place in the perfect
house. "Unfortunately for you, my pretty little brat, I'm not comfortable with
you sleeping alone during this shitshow, so you're stuck with me. Hopefully
once your memory returns you'll want to be," he said, sounding really upset
compared to his usual bored-sounding monotone.
 
"Levi, you idiot. I already love you somehow. Don't act like you're torturing
me by sleeping with me. I kinda wished you would have cuddled me last night,
you fuck."
 
Levi looked at Eren out of the corner of his eye. "You are aware that you could
have told me that, correct?"
 
"I didn't wanna just...you know, say it..," his voice trailed off
in embarrassment.
 
Levi laughed and put Eren's suitcase down, turning and wrapping his arms around
him. "I've fucked you in the ass before, Eren. I'm aware you don't remember it,
but you have absolutely no reason to be shy around me. I've seen all of you,
and I love all of you, brat." Eren's cheeks caught on fire and he giggled
shyly. "You're so fucking cute. Now, let me show you the house." Levi picked
the suitcase up off the floor and offered Eren his free hand, which he gladly
took, and they walked up two flights of stairs. They reached the third floor,
and Levi turned down a hallway that lead to one of the towers of the house.
 
There was another set of stairs up into the top, and once they climbed them
Levi opened the door to his bedroom. Eren took his time looking around,
admiring the absolutely exquisite decor. The room looked like it had been
stolen out of a palace somewhere, beautifully carved furniture, obviously hand-
embroidered upholstery, paintings hanging on the dark grey walls...it was
beautiful.
 
Eren's eyes found one particular painting that intrigued him...it was a
brunette boy wearing the military uniform from his dream, face proud and
determined, teal eyes full of fire. "Levi, is this me?"
 
"It is," he said as he put Eren's clothes neatly into an empty drawer. "I've
spent a lot of time talking to that fucking thing."
 
"That's...that's so sweet."
 
"Tch. Depressing, more like it. I've missed you more than you could ever
imagine," he said, closing the drawer and turning back to Eren. "Let's go down
to the kitchen and I'll make some of those fucking chocolate crepes you love so
much." Eren smiled, somehow comforted by the fact that his favorite food was
the same 1600 years ago as it is now. He followed Levi back down the stairs and
into an incredibly spacious kitchen with sparkling clean top-of-the-line
appliances. Levi motioned for Eren to sit on a barstool next to the counter and
he started cooking. "After you eat, if you still want to, I can turn you. I
made sure that I have enough blood for tonight, and Hanji will be here tomorrow
with more."
 
"I want to, Levi. Please don't doubt that."
 
"You didn't seem so confident earlier, brat."
 
Eren sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I wasn't think about turning."
 
The raven turned from the stove and raised an eyebrow. "Then what had you
looking like someone shit on your puppy?"
 
"Levi," he said, laughing, "is that a real expression?"
 
"It is now, and you didn't answer my fucking question," he bit back playfully
as he flipped a crepe.
 
"I...I just feel like you're going to regret turning me. I'm not a soldier, or
a hero, or even strong in this life."
 
"You weren't any of those in your last life, either. You were an insubordinate
little troublemaker whose smartass mouth was bigger than his fucking brain. You
just happened to get lucky with your stupidity...you did a lot of good for the
world, baby, but I never want you to have to try and be a hero again," he said,
filling the crepes with chocolate and strawberries, "I want a mundane, perfect
eternity with the man I love."
 
"Insubordinate smartass? That sounds a lot more like me," Eren said, smiling.
Maybe Levi really did love him still, even the boring, unaccomplished version.
 
"Don't think for a single second that I loved you for what you did. Yes, it was
goddamn incredible and it changed the course of history, but I've met hundreds
of people who have done that and you're the only fucking one I've ever loved.
Now get over here and get your overly sugary plate of future health problems."
Eren laughed and walked over to the stove and Levi handed him a fork. He shoved
almost half of a crepe into his mouth, and his eyes rolled back. "Good?"
 
"Oh my god...amazing," he said before devouring the other half. Levi just
smiled and watched him eat, which he found disgusting and perfectly adorable at
the same time. It only took a few minutes for Eren to finish, and he let out a
satisfied hum. "You're going to make me fat."
 
"Vampires don't gain or lose weight, brat," the raven said, grabbing his hand
and leading him to a cozy drawing room on the other side of the first floor.
 
This room was covered in art too, but it was more modern. Most of it seemed to
be painted by the same artist, and they depicted scenes of dreary wooden rooms
and horse stables. There was one horse that had been painted in several of
them, a large black one, and there was a painting of a huge wall from the
perspective of someone standing at the foot of it. Levi led Eren to a big,
plush couch and they sat down. "These are strange paintings, Levi."
 
"These are shitty glasses' doing...they're memories of our mortal lives. That's
why I brought you in here. These are things you're going to start remembering.
Are you sure you want this?"
 
"For the last fucking time, yes. I have nothing to lose but you. My mom's dead,
my dad is a piece of shit, and my friends all make too many sacrifices for me
anyway. For some reason I feel like here, with you, is where I'm supposed to
be."
 
"Eren," Levi said, gently brushing Eren's hair out of his face, "this is where
you're supposed to be, love."
 
Eren awkwardly scooted closer to Levi, closing the space on the couch between
them. "Can we...uh...cuddle now?"
 
Levi nodded and held his arm up, and Eren took his place under it. Every time
he was in the raven's strong embrace he felt perfectly safe. Perfectly content.
Perfect. "I hope to god your memories come back fast so you'll quit being such
a shy little fuck."
 
"Yeah, me too," Eren said nervously. "Can you tell me what's going to happen?"
 
"Of course. I'll do what I did last night, but you'll do the same to me."
 
"Like, drink your blood? Do you even have blood?"
 
Levi held up his other hand and bit into it, and dark red blood leaked from the
little wound, much darker than any blood Eren had ever seen. "Taste," he
purred, giving his bleeding hand to Eren.
 
Eren shakily took it, looking at the thick drops of blood spilling from the
puncture marks. He at Levi, who nodded, and then he licked a few of the dark
red drops off his hand. His eyes widened, and he licked every last drop off. It
tasted like heaven, and he wanted more. "W-why does it taste like that?," he
asked shakily.
 
"Taste like what, brat? It just tastes like blood did when I was human to me,"
the raven said, wound on his hand already closed completely. 
 
"Like...lavender and honey...and lemon."
 
Levi chuckled. "Something to do with soulmates or some shit. I'll let shitty
glasses explain in a few days."
 
"We're...soulmates?"
 
"Yes. Everyone has one, I was just lucky enough to find mine," he said, taking
his hand back from Eren's and running it through his soft, shiny hair.
 
"Why a few days? Won't she be here tomorrow?"
 
"Baby, you won't be thinking of anything but blood and sex tomorrow," he said,
laughing at Eren's suddenly stunned face. 
 
"Wait...sex?"
 
"Vampires are lusty creatures, Eren."
 
"But...you said you haven't slept with anyone since...you know, me."
 
"I haven't." Eren looked at him, face obviously giving away his confusion.
"Don't look so surprised, brat."
 
"But...you're so...attractive..."
 
"It wasn't for lack of offers, you idiot. I just couldn't do it. You are the
only object of my affection, joli garçon." Eren blushed and turned away, but
Levi grabbed his chin and pulled him back around. "It was well worth the wait."
 
"Um...I...thank you?"
 
"Don't be so shy, Eren. Say what you wanted to say," the raven purred, resting
his hand on Eren's balmy cheek.
 
"I, uh, I was...can I kiss you?"
 
"Never ask that. Just do it, stupid." Levi rubbed his thumb on Eren's cheek,
then leaned in and gently pressed their lips together. Eren felt a
somehow familiar wave of emotions come over him, his body flooded with a
comforting warmth and his heart raced. He eagerly moved his lips against the
raven's, hands finding their way into his silky hair. He felt the world around
him disappear as his attention focused only on the impossibly soft lips moving
against his own.
 
He anxiously licked Levi's lower lip, and the raven immediately responded by
invading his mouth with his eager tongue. Levi's mouth tasted faintly like his
blood had, and Eren melted completely into the kiss. He felt Levi's hands grab
his hips as the raven moved to his lap, straddling him and wrapping his arms
around his neck. Eren felt a new confidence and fought for control of the kiss,
pulling the raven's lip into his mouth and gently biting it. This was bliss.
This was what real love felt like. When he let go Levi pulled away, smirking.
"As much as I want to continue, I think we had better wait until I turn
you...you'll be fucking insatiable and I need to save my energy."
 
Eren groaned and rolled his eyes. "You fucking suck."
 
"I do...and you'll find out how well soon enough," he cooed seductively, and
Eren flushed. "Are you ready?"
 
"Will it hurt?"
 
"No, it'll be just like last night, but better."
 
Eren bit his lip nervously. "Yeah, I'm ready."
 
The raven nodded and got off Eren, giving him his hand and pulling him off the
couch. Levi led him back up to his bedroom and motioned for him to sit on the
bed. He walked over to the window and closed the incredibly thick back curtain,
plunging the room into complete darkness. Eren felt him sit on the bed behind
him. "Would you like me to explain exactly what's going to happen?"
 
"Yes, please," the brunette said shakily, unnerved by the sudden darkness.
 
"I'm going to tear my wrist open, and you need to drink all of it."
 
"Wait, won't you die?"
 
"No...the only purpose a vampire has for blood is to create more vampires. I'll
drain you almost completely and you'll probably faint, which is completely
normal. When you wake up you'll feel like absolute shit and your throat will be
on fire. I'll be right here, and I'll have bloodpacks ready for you. The more
you drink, the faster you'll feel better."
 
"How much am I supposed to drink?"
 
"Roughly 50 pints, I'd say, but everyone's diffe-"
 
"Are you serious?! That's five fucking people!"
 
Levi chuckled. "There's a reason I'm keeping you locked up in here, brat."
 
"Obviously...what happens then?"
 
"Well, you'll probably drink 10 pints a day for the next week before the frenzy
slows down, then you will be able to go a while without it."
 
"How will I feel?" He was getting more and more nervous by the second.
 
"Thirsty and horny."
 
"Yeah...about the horny part...um, are we going to...you know..." His words
trailed off as his cheeks caught on fire and the very familiar feeling of
extreme embarrassment sank in.
 
"That's entirely up to you, but you do need to decide before we start. Once
you've turned it's all you'll think about...I need to know whether or not to
stop you," the raven purred, letting his voice bottom out.
 
Eren nervously chewed on his lip. "Uh...do..do you even...like, want to?"
 
"Fucking hell brat, what do you think?"
 
"Um...I don't know..."
 
Eren felt arms snake around his waist as Levi latched onto him from behind. "I
think your body is the most perfect thing in this world...I want to, but only
if you do."
 
Eren wanted to. He wanted to so badly. "Uh...y-yeah...I want to."
 
"That's fucking excellent, brat...I'm going to tear you apart," the raven
growled, then kissed his neck. "Are you ready?"
 
"Yes." Levi snapped his fingers and a single candle on the dresser lit. "Holy
shit, is that one of those 'gifts' Hanji was talking about?"
 
"Yeah. I'll put it out when you pass out...you'll want to take your shirt off,
probably your pants too but I'll leave that decision up to you."
 
Eren pulled his shirt off, then stood and took off his jeans. He figured that
Levi had already seen him completely naked many times before, so it didn't
matter. He was left in his tight black boxer briefs. "Okay, now what?"
 
"Come sit," the raven said, "back facing me." Eren did, getting comfortable on
the soft bed. Levi moved behind him, putting his legs on either side of his
body and putting his hands on Eren's back. He rubbed his tense shoulders, and
Eren felt himself relaxing at the touch. "Everything will be fine. I'll be here
the whole time."
 
"I know."
 
"Ready?"
 
"Very."
 
Levi pulled Eren against him, kissing his neck softly. Eren could feel his
fangs against his skin, and the memories of last night came to the front of his
mind, and he was ready. He wanted to feel that ecstasy again. He heard Levi
whimper, then before he could process it he had Levi's gushing wrist in his
mouth. "Oi, suck, brat." Eren did, grabbing Levi's arm and drinking the warm,
delicious liquid greedily. He could feel Levi's body get colder as he sucked
him dry, and the little pinch and rush of euphoria followed shortly after. This
time he didn't go limp, and he was able to continue drinking the
honeyed liqueur from Levi's mutilated wrist.
 
Levi was right, this time was so much better. He felt every nerve ending in his
body ignite with desire, and the now cold body hanging onto him felt like
heaven. He needed release, all he wanted was release, his body was on fire and
he was growling in his throat as he sucked the last bit of blood out of the
raven. He dropped his arm, letting it fall onto his lap as wanton sounds
escaped his lips, each one dripping with unchaste desire that he wouldn't be
able to contain for long.
 
Then it was black.
 
***** Hai, Heichou *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren remembers some things.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Eren...Eren, wake up. It'll get dark if we don't get home."
 
"Huh...? Mikasa? When did your hair get so long?"
 
"Wait, Eren...are you crying?
 
...
 
"We can eat, sleep, and survive in the walls...but isn't that like being a
caged animal?"
 
...
 
"Eren, why do you want to go outside?!"
 
"If there's no one to carry on...everyone who died will have DIED IN VAIN!"
 
...
 
"Just because the wall hasn't been breached in 100 years doesn't mean they
won't break though it today."
 
*BOOM*
 
"Armin, what was that?!"
 
...
 
"Th-that wall is 50 meters high!"
 
"...it's one of them."
 
...
 
"I won't give up...I'm going to destroy every last Titan!"
 
...
 
"...just shut up AND INVEST EVERYTHING IN ME!"
 
*THUD*
 
"This is just my opinion, but I've always found pain to be the most effective
punishment...the lesson you need to learn can't be taught with words, only
action."
 
...
 
"Therefore, if you decide to put him under our control, I would pair him with
Captain Levi as a failsafe."
 
...
 
"Tell me, Eren...do you resent me?"
 
...
 
Eren jarred awake, throat in searing pain. He felt like he had gotten hit by a
bus, and he didn't even think he'd be able to speak. "Hey, hey...it's okay.
Here. Just bite and suck." Levi handed him a blood bag, the kind hospitals have
for transfusions, and he immediately tore it open and drank the entire thing.
The burning in his throat stopped, but only as long as he was drinking.
 
"More," he croaked, voice not working properly yet.
 
"I know, here." Levi handed him another and he downed it just as fast. The
blood tasted good, and it sated the burning in his throat, but Levi's was much
sweeter. This continued for almost an hour before Eren felt even mildly okay.
He had gone through 43 pints in that hour, and by the time he could speak
clearly he felt like a teenager who had just discovered masturbation.
"Hey...you okay now? Remember anything?"
 
"I...I remember some things...like the Titans...they sorta don't feel like my
memories, it feels like a movie I watched or something. It seems to be going in
order, though."
 
"How far?"
 
"I just remember up to the day you beat the shit out of me."
 
Levi's face fell. "Are you mad?"
 
"Of course not. You had to."
 
"Eren, I'm so sorry," he said, laying down next to Eren and running his fingers
through his hair. "I never did that again. I'll never hurt you again."
 
"Levi, calm down. I'm not angry. You needed me, and you did what you had to do
to save my life. I was grateful then, and I'm grateful now...I will be mad in a
minute, though," he purred, letting his voice bottom out. "Wanna know why?"
 
Levi's mouth formed a devilish smirk. "Why, love?"
 
"Because your clothes are still on."
 
"Eren, you need to rest first," Levi purred, then he put a hand over Eren's
eyes, and the brunet suddenly felt overwhelmingly tired and drifted to sleep.
 
***
 
"Heichou, I'm finished cleaning," I said shakily as I walked into the room. My
body might have healed from the beating in a day, but I definitely didn't want
to piss Captain Levi off and get another one. This guy was everything he was
rumored to be and more, especially the cutthroat bastard part. Part of me was
pissed that he was like this, I've spent so many years dreaming of being in his
squad and fighting for humanity that I had him on a pedestal and this just
isn't what I imagined him being like. At all.
 
"I'll go check it, finish up in here," he said, and when he passed me in the
doorway I couldn't help but to tense up. Him being within arms reach of me was
enough to send me into panic mode after what happened at the courthouse. All of
that aside, he was the hero he was made out to be, too. I could see how
everyone in his squad looked at him, like he was made of diamonds and fairy
dust.
 
Especially Petra, you could see that she was completely enamored with him. Her
eyes lit up like the sun every time she saw him. "You look disappointed," she
said sweetly as she was sweeping.
 
"No, I'm not...I just didn't expect him to follow orders so dutifully."
 
"Apparently he didn't always...rumor is that he was a thug, big player in the
black market in the Underground."
 
"Oi, Eren," Levi's voice came from the doorway, and my head snapped around, "do
you honestly call that clean?! Do it again." As pissed as I wanted to be, for
some reason, in this exact moment, I looked at Levi differently. There was
something about how relaxed he looked, with his hair tied up in a cloth,
without his uniform on, that made him something completely different.
 
It made him a person. I had worshiped him before, not wanting to let go of the
image I had created in my head of him, but right then it kind of dissolved into
nothing. This wasn't a killing machine, but a man standing in front of me, one
with a beating heart and battle scars, and guilt suddenly hit me like a tidal
wave. I hadn't realized that he had lost everything, squad after squad, over
and over again.
 
That was the first time my heart was sent into overdrive by the very thought of
the him, him as a man. "Of course, Heichou." 
 
That was when I made my decision. I was going to do everything in my power to
make him happy again, even if it's only for a second.
 
...
 
It fucking sucked to sleep in the basement. Like Levi already hated me or
something, he didn't bother cleaning it, so it was dusty and musty and the air
tasted like it was a century old. The chains that tied me to the wall and the
floor were loud and cold, and every time I moved in my sleep the sound woke me
up. My performance during training had been shit all week, of course, I
couldn't fucking sleep.
 
Nothing made sense anymore, like my brain was just as exhausted as my body, and
even simple orders would go right over my head and I'd fuck it up. It was
torture. Today wasn't going to be any better, because Hanji and Levi had
decided it was time to go 'test out' my titan ability, I guess to see if I
could control it.
 
When I heard Levi open the door from upstairs I was so relieved. The shackles
had started rubbing the skin off my wrists and it hurt like absolute fuck, not
that they stayed that way long, but it still sucked. "Oi, brat. You up?"
 
"Yeah," I replied groggily, even though I had been up for several hours. The
lack of sleep was really taking it's toll on me.
 
When he crossed the room to my little cell, he looked at me with a mixture of
what I could guess was disgust and concern, but he always looked mildly
disgusted. "You look like hell, Jaeger."
 
"Can't sleep, it's no big deal," I replied shakily. As much as he was an
asshole, he was still my idol and hero and the last thing I wanted was to sound
like a pussy in front of him.
 
He clicked his tongue as he unlocked the door to my cell and started taking off
the shackles. "It is a big deal. It's affecting your performance."
 
"I don't know what to do to fix it, Heichou, or I would."
 
"Is it the chains?," he asked me dryly as he finished taking the last one off
my ankle.
 
"Well, I guess it's a mixture of that and breathing dust for 8 hours."
 
He sighed as he dropped the shackle onto the stone floor, making a loud
clanking noise and starling me almost fully awake, probably on purpose. "I
figured this would become an issue. I can't have you half dead all the time,
you need this training...I'll figure something else out, okay?"
 
"Uh...thanks, Heichou."
 
...
 
I was utterly drained. I felt like absolute shit anyway after everyone had
bitten their hands...it was my fault that I couldn't control it, they shouldn't
have punished themselves. "...that's why I chose them. They need to have some
distrust of you."
 
I was sitting on the basement stairs with Levi after the meeting had ended, and
he was seemingly trying to make me feel better. "I understand."
 
"Now, go get in bed. Don't bother with the chains tonight."
 
"But Heich-"
 
"Eren, really. I need to you sleep. You have two days until we leave the walls,
I need you to rest as much as you can. Losing you now would be a huge blow to
humanity." I didn't argue further, I just got up and silently walked over to my
bed. I was out the second my head hit the pillow.
 
...
 
When I woke up I felt so fucking good. The cell door was open, I wasn't
chained, and I had actually slept. I looked over at the shitty little clock on
the wall and it said 1300 hours. I freaked out and scrambled to get dressed,
and I guess Levi heard me, because within thirty seconds he was standing
outside my cell. "Woah, brat. It's okay. I let you sleep on purpose," he said,
voice unusually rough.
 
When I looked up at him I was almost shocked. His usually neat hair was a mess,
his clothes were wrinkled, and the dark circles under his eyes looked about 10
shades darker than normal. "Are you okay, Heichou?"
 
"I'm fucking fine...just tired. Let's go, I need to change." I quickly finished
pulling my boots on and stayed on his heels, and when we got to the stairs I
realized why he looked like he did...he had slept on them. There was a blanket
and a pillow on the third stair from the bottom, and an empty tea cup and a
book on the next step up.
 
I felt more guilty than I ever have. Something about the strongest person alive
sleeping on a stone step for my sake made me feel like absolute shit, but
that's not saying I wasn't grateful. I was. I really needed the sleep, and I
felt like a million dollars. I couldn't even find a string of coherent words to
say, and he knew. He just nodded at my guilt-riddled expression and kept
walking.
 
The barracks when we were training were much shittier than this place, it
was practically a castle, and I hadn't really had the chance to see much of the
building between training and trying my damnedest to sleep. Levi was leading me
up an unfamiliar staircase at the back corner of the building. "The recruits
will be coming today, which means you get to see your sister/girlfriend/
whatever the fuck she is. She asks about you constantly."
 
I made a loud retching sound. "Girlfriend? God, no. She might want that, but
it's never going to happen."
 
He stopped and opened a door at the end of a hallway, letting me go inside
first. It was obviously his room, sparkling clean and perfectly organized, and
he followed, closing the door behind him. He walked over to his dresser and
pulled out a clean uniform, tossing it onto his obviously very plush bed. "Why?
She's obsessed."
 
I groaned loudly and rolled my eyes, this was not the conversation I wanted to
be having with my superior officer, much less my lifelong idol. "Obsessed is an
understatement. I don't think it would work out even if she was sane."
 
"Why?"
 
I was getting annoyed at how persistent he was being, but at the same time it
was almost flattering. He wasn't someone that usually took interest in people
until they proved they had value. "With all due respect, Heichou, I don't think
my personal life has anything to do with you."
 
He groaned and rolled his eyes. "As it happens, it does. You are my
responsibility, and your emotional state affects your performance more than it
should."
 
He was right, not that I was about to admit that. "Fine, I'm gay," I groaned. I
did not want to have this conversation. At all.
 
Levi just stared at me, face the same as it always was. Broken and beautiful
and tired. "Does she know?"
 
"No, I've had no reason to tell her. Why?"
 
"Don't. She is an incredible asset, she needs to stay focused. If that means
letting her think you'll love her eventually, so be it," he said harshly, and I
realized just how right he was. The man didn't overlook a thing. I just nodded.
"I'm going to shower, okay? You can lay down or read or whatever, just don't
make a goddamn mess."
 
"Hai, Heichou." He shot me a look of warning and grabbed his clothes off the
bed, turning and disappearing into his private washroom. I ran my hand over the
blanket on his bed, the incredibly soft brown fabric felt like nothing I'd ever
felt before. It was like touching a cloud, plush and smooth under my
fingertips. Even at home I'd never had anything this nice.
 
I hadn't thought about home or mom in a while, too busy to grieve between my
training and sleep deprivation, and painful memories resurfaced of the day she
died. I knew it had been years, but I missed her so much. Every fiber of my
body ached to see her again. I sat down on Levi's bed, leaving my feet over the
edge and sinking into the incredible mattress.
 
If she would have made it I might not be here, sitting on this bed in the room
of my idol. I couldn't decide if I was thankful that I was here or angry. I was
too weak to save her then, but I'm a soldier now. If the situation could be
repeated I could save her. Not that that mattered now, it was in the past, and
I can't change it.
 
I just hope she's proud of me, wherever she is. They've started calling me
'humanity's last hope' instead of 'suicidal maniac,' so I guess I've done
something good. Something to make her proud, even though this wasn't the life
she wanted for me. 
 
Maybe she can see the sea from where she is, and the frozen ground Armin talks
about. The frozen ground that he, Mikasa, and myself will see for ourselves one
day.
 
I stopped my own train of thought before I lost control of my emotions, which
I'm constantly reminded that I'm so good at, and laid down. I felt the slight
indentation in the mattress that Levi's small but dense body left, near the
edge of the bed touching the wall. All this space and he sleeps in the corner.
 
The blankets smelled like lemon soap, the scent gently tickling my nostrils and
putting a smile on my face. This was a bed fit for the strongest person in the
world, that was for sure, and he deserved it. Everything he's sacrificed, every
broken bone, everything he has done has been for the good of someone other than
himself.
 
I thought about what Petra had said, that he was a thug before he was in the
Survey Corps. I was curious, insatiably curious, and decided that after we get
back from the mission I'll find out everything about Levi.
 

If we get back.
 
A sudden feeling of dread washed over my entire body and I shuddered. Would I
ever see Armin and Mikasa after tomorrow? Would Captain Levi still be here,
barking orders, after the next few days? I felt a few tears slip from the
corners of my eyes, and I just let them fall. I was 15, I was allowed to be
afraid. I was about to go somewhere so horrifying that they built a wall to
avoid it.
 
"Jaeger. Get your ass up," Levi said as I heard the bathroom door open. I
immediately complied, shoving off the perfectly plush bed onto my feet. I
closed my eyes tightly to try to avoid Levi seeing me cry, but it was no use.
"Oi, you okay?"
 
"Yeah, fine. Let's go."
 
"No, Eren, seriously...not talking about whatever the fuck is wrong with you
won't help a damn thing. Talk."
 
I sighed, there wasn't really any point in arguing anymore. "I was just
thinking about my mom. I miss her, okay?," I spit.
 
"Don't get pissed, I'm trying to help, you fucking brat," Levi groaned angrily,
but he sat on the bed and motioned for me to sit in his desk chair across from
him. "You are important to this mission. Vital, even. It will be worthless
without you. I want you to look at me, Eren," he growled darkly.
 
I looked up at him through tiny tears, and his face wasn't the same. It was
kind, understanding...almost relaxed. "I know how hard it is to lose the most
important person in your life. Don't let her sacrifice be for nothing." That's
all he said before getting up and pulling his 3D gear out of a drawer and
starting to put it on.
 
Somehow his almost laughable attempt to comfort me had really helped, and I
felt the familiar fire stir in my heart. I was going to keep my promise. I was
going to kill all of the Titans.
 
...
 
"Eren!," Armin squealed when I walked into the mess hall, and he and Mikasa ran
over to tackle me into a hug. I just let them, it wasn't like I hadn't missed
them too.
 
Mikasa was the first to let go, and I watched her face fall from 'yay my
brother' to 'murder.' "Have they mistreated you? Done any weird exper-"
 
"Mika, no. It's been nice, actually," I said hastily, knowing Mikasa she was
about to go attempt to beat the shit out of Levi. "This place is a lot better
than the cadet barracks."
 
She looked at me suspiciously, but Armin tried his best to diffuse the
situation by talking about the long-range scouting formation. I had already
learned it completely, and they seemed to have the hang of it too. I saw
several people I didn't expect to be there, Jean, Connie, and even Sasha had
apparently decided to join the Scouts.
 
"Jaeger, I need to talk to you," Levi's silky voice said from behind me. Before
I turned around I could see the fire in Mikasa's eyes, and her white-knuckle
grip on her 3D gear straps made it very apparent that she was resisting the
urge to beat the shit out of Levi. Not that she'd succeed.
 
What she, and the others, don't realize, is that he was holding back on me. He
was holding back tremendously. This man was as tough as steel and had
unbreakable resolve, a fine-tuned super soldier, and if he had beaten me to his
full ability I'd be dead. I shot Mikasa a warning glare and turned to follow
Levi.
 
He lead me out of the mess hall and into a side hallway near the rooms that the
other cadets would be sharing. "I need you to promise me something, Eren."
 
"Of course, Heichou. Anything."
 
He looked at me with his tired eyes. "Well, a few things, actually...first,
don't tell anyone, and I mean not a single fucking person, where you'll be
located in the formation. Not even Mikasa."
 
I was confused, I had assumed that everyone had already learned my position,
but I wasn't about to argue. "Okay, what else?"
 
"No matter what happens, even if everyone ends up dead...you have to live," he
practically pleaded, "use your Titan form, use your swords, run like a
coward...I don't care, just live." His eyes were locked onto mine, desperation
swimming in them like fish in a pond that's too small. I rubbed nervously at
the back of my neck, and he sighed. "You have to promise. Don't try to be a
hero."
 
"Uh...yeah, I promise," I said nervously. He looked almost insane in this
moment, but it was probably because I'd never seen him scared. I knew that I
was an asset to humanity, but I never imagined that the strongest person in the
world would ever care whether or not I lived or died. 
 
"Good," he said as he let out a heavy sigh. "Go talk to your friends, have
fun...find me at 2000 hours and we'll go to bed. You need to rest tonight."
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry I teased you with smut...not quite yet, darlings.
***** If One of Us Dies Tomorrow *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren is conflicted, and we all know he's not good at decisions.
Chapter Notes
     Hey guys!
     Short chapter for you, sorry it isn't more.
     I have to work the next four days and I just wanted to give you
     something else before I end up too busy to write for a bit.
     As always, your comments and kudos give me life. Yay. <3
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I was relieved to see my friends, even stupid horse-faced Jean. As much as I
hated to admit it, I needed Mikasa, I just really needed to see her today.
Something about her stern voice and familiar gray eyes, the way she pulled my
scarf over her face, made me remember that I had a mission, a purpose. I had
kept losing sight of what I was here for in all the politics and training, I
was here to kill Titans. To find a way to eradicate them. "Eren?"
 
"Shit, sorry...what did you say, Armin?"
 
"I asked if you liked working with Levi."
 
My head started racing with thoughts. Armin had no idea that he just asked one
of the most complicated questions on the planet. Did I like working with Levi?
No. He was a bitchy little prick with an ego the size of wall Maria. That being
said, he earned the ego. He is 34, most people in the Survey Corps don't live
to see 20.
 
Did I like being around Levi? Absolutely. He was an enigma, hiding everything
he felt behind this emotional wall he'd built. It had to be that way, he had
lost so much so many times he probably wouldn't be able to stay sane unless he
kept everyone at arm's length, but I wanted to break his wall. Ironic, I know.
 
I just decided to give Armin the answer he wanted to hear. "Yeah, it's kinda
like a dream. I never thought I'd be here."
 
He smiled that blinding, beautiful smile that melted my heart every single
time. "I knew you would! Can I...can I ask you something else?," he asked
shakily.
 
"Oh course. Anything."
 
"Uh...have you ever, you know...thought about us differently? Like...more than
friends?"
 
I nervously bit my lip. Sure, I'd thought about it a ton. As far as I knew,
Armin didn't even know I was gay. No one but Captain Levi. I thought for a
second, should I tell him the truth? This could fuck up our friendship, and I
was stuck on the idea of being with Levi, even though I knew it would never
happen. "Yeah, I have...can we talk about it once we get back? I don't think
we're in the right mindset to be having this conversation."
 
He sighed, I think out of defeat and relief all at once. "Of course. You're
probably right, anyway."
 
...
 
I was almost overwhelmed to be around so many people at once, I had gotten used
to being alone with Levi, Hanji, and Erwin most of the time. I decided to take
a walk around the building, try to get a feel for the place now that I had a
free second. It was huge, and I only knew about 1/8 of the rooms.
 
I decided to wander down the hall where Levi's room is, I was almost certain
that he would be in the yard with the recruits or somewhere listening to Hanji
bitch about her experiments. As I walked, the boards of the floor creaked under
my feet, echoing through the completely empty hallway. It was 1930 and everyone
was busy.
 
The farther I walked, toward Levi's room, the more I could hear faint noises
coming from that end of the hallway. Muffled groans, it sounded like. I started
walking quietly, making sure that the boards beneath my feel made no sound, and
I followed the noise. Soon the noise turned into a conversation.
 
"...didn't want it to be like this, Erwin."
 
"You've never objected before, Levi...what has changed? I love you, I'll always
love you, and I loved you the second I saw you...all those years ago, when you
were still a street rat Underground."
 
"Don't call me a fucking street rat, you bastard. Everything has chan-."
 
"Stop...you know you need this, darling."
 
"...goddamnit, you fuc-."
 
The conversation turned into throaty moans, obviously coming from Levi. My
blood boiled, and I felt some kind of jealousy, even though we weren't ever
anything to begin with. That's when I decided that I'd break him another way. I
turned and silently walked back down the hallway and the stairs, Levi's fucking
moans ringing in my head like a gunshot.
 
I wasn't thinking clearly, between the impending mission and my anger at Erwin
touching Levi like that, but I didn't care. All I wanted was revenge, and if
there was a single ounce of Levi that wanted me like I wanted him, I was going
to use it to destroy him. I made my way down the winding halls, and I finally
found who I was looking for. Armin.
 
"Hey, Eren...I'm sorry about earlier, I was jus-"
 
"Shut up," I spit quietly, "I was wrong. I do want this. Come with
me...please."
 
"Oh...o-okay," he stuttered out, and I pulled him behind me to the cellar where
my bed was. Not the most romantic place in the world, I know, but it was the
only place I knew Levi would catch us. I needed him to feel like shit. Just
like I did.
 
I turned to face Armin, his sparkling blue eyes locked on to mine, lip
trembling nervously while it was caught between his teeth. He looked so
innocent, and I knew right then I was going to regret this, but for some reason
I couldn't stop myself. He was there for me to have, anxiously waiting for me
to kiss him.
 
I wanted to so badly, and I leaned into his ear in a haze of anger and passion.
"Are you sure you want this?"
 
"Eren, if one of us dies tomorrow, I don't want to regret never kissing you,"
he cooed breathily, and that's all I needed. Years of built up feelings at the
front of my mind, I tangled my fingers into his soft blond hair and pulled his
lips up to meet mine. For a moment, as my lips moved again his incredibly soft
but clumsy ones, I was okay.
 
Nothing was wrong, mom wasn't dead, I wasn't about to be Titan food
tomorrow...everything was fine. That was what Armin had always been to me,
stability. His hands found their way to my hips, and I pushed my body against
his. He hesitated for a second, but gave in and pulled at the hem of my shirt
anxiously. 
 
I broke the kiss just long enough for him to pull my shirt off, then our lips
found their way together again. So many things ran through my head while our
bodies were tangled together against the wall, like how right this felt, how
wrong it felt, how I knew the good feelings would be over the second we
stopped. This was just a cruel, temporary fix for me being fucked up.
 
I didn't care, and as my hands found their way under the back of his shirt I
licked his lower lip, almost pleading for entrance into his mouth. Like the
taste of his tongue might fix me, fix the world. Armin was always the one with
a level head, the one that thought about his actions, honestly the only one of
us that had a chance in this insanity.
 
He parted his lips, and my all-too-eager tongue found it's way against his. He
tasted like familiar emotions, like the long afternoons that we spent sitting
by the canal, just daydreaming about the sea. I always thought I could see the
sea in his eyes, deep pools of blue that sparkled like the waves on the canal,
every emotion swimming in them when they meet mine.
 
He was running his hands over the muscles of my back, muscles that hadn't
existed the last time I saw him. I wondered how he felt, if everything was as
complicated for him, but I soon let the thought go. This was a moment just to
enjoy Armin, and it might be the last opportunity either of us have.
 
I explored his mouth, finding the sensitive places that made him shudder, hands
wandering around his slim hips. His hands moved from my back to my chest,
running soft fingers over my pecs, anxiously almost. He was clumsy, hands
finding their way to my hair and lacing into it, pulling me even closer.
 
I heard the cellar door open, and I knew who it was. Levi. That just made the
anger well back up, and in one swift motion I grabbed the back of Armin's
thighs and wrapped his lean legs around my waist. He gasped against my mouth,
but quickly resumed the kiss.
 
I pulled his plump lower lip into my mouth and bit down, hard, hard enough to
make him moan loudly. I let go and started trailing bites down his neck, not
hard enough to bruise, but hard enough to get him to moan over and over again.
I needed to hear them, and I needed Levi to hear them.
 
Call me a bad person, but I didn't feel altogether terrible about using Armin
for revenge, because that wasn't what was happening. Not entirely. I wanted
Armin too, just not like I wanted Levi. With Levi it was like I was
magnetically drawn to him, everything he did made me dizzy.
 
I slid my hands from his thighs to his ass, perfect and petite, just like the
rest of him. He was a moaning mess, digging his nails into my bare shoulders as
he shivered at the touch of my mouth on his neck. "Oi, bra-," Levi's voice
said, but he cut himself off immediately when he saw what was happening.
 
Armin gasped loudly and dropped out of my arms, his cheeks turning bright red
as he shyly turned away from Levi's questioning gaze. "Armin, it's okay...I'll
see you in the morning, alright?," I whispered gently, brushing a rogue strand
of hair out of his face.
 
"O-okay..," he said shakily, and I kissed him one last time before he darted up
the stairs past Levi. I hadn't even looked in his direction yet, and when I did
I almost gasped out loud. There was absolute fury in his eyes.
 
I had never seen him angry, and now I was almost wishing I hadn't made him that
way. I wasn't sure if he was going to throw something, beat the shit out of me,
or just shoot me dead. "Care to explain that, Eren?," he said, no, growled, and
I backed up against the wall.
 
I wasn't giving in, though. Not even close. He wasn't my parent, and who I
kissed was none of his concern. "Yeah, I do. I don't think it's any of your
goddamn business who I kiss in my free tim-"
 
"Shut. Up. Brat," he snarled, taking a few threatening steps toward me. "I have
done this for years now, and you can't fucking get attached to people, do you
understand me?," he bit. "Especially you, you irresponsible fuck. Do you know
how important you are? To humanity? I don't give a fu-"
 
"Really, you fucking asshole? You were getting sucked off in Erwin's office
earlier! Don't fucking tell me not to get attached when you can't follow your
own goddamn advice," I spit, and he looked shocked. Guess he didn't hear me
eavesdropping. "Fuck you and your stupid rules, Levi. If I die tomorrow I want
my life to have been the way I wanted it."
 
He looked at me with a dumbfounded expression, then his face fell into
something else, though I couldn't tell you what it was. Sadness, regret,
jealousy? I have no idea. "I...fuck, Jaeger." He ran his hands through his hair
and sat on the bottom step. "I didn't mean to go off like that. Let's go get
you in bed, okay?"
 
"Go? We're already down here," I said cautiously, he was still angry and I
could tell.
 
He sighed into his hands. "I'm going to let you sleep in my room for the time
being. You need to rest well."
Chapter End Notes
     Please don't murder me. <3
***** Hell *****
Chapter Summary
     Some shit happens.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
I knew he was still fuming, but I couldn't understand why. Sure, I could see
him being concerned that worrying about Armin would distract me and I'd get
hurt, but he was absolutely wroth. I stayed on his heels, like I always do, as
we walked down the hall to his room. Just being in the hall again made his
moans come to the forefront of my mind, Levi letting Erwin in, past his wall.
 
I wanted to be the one that gets to see him like that. Falling apart, begging
for more...I couldn't explain it, but I felt like I had to have him. I
was volatile, one second I was enamored with the man, the next I wanted to
destroy him. Was this how Mika felt about me? Was this the same kind of
obsession?
 
Obsession is a weird word, from my point of view it was just a crush, albeit a
pretty big one, but I'm sure anyone else that could read my mind would think I
was completely insane. I really couldn't help it, there was just something
about Levi that made me feel like my heart couldn't handle being without him
now.
 
Maybe it never could. I was already enamored with him before I even met him,
always running to the gate to watch him come home from missions, blood-stained
and expressionless. His steely eyes would search the faces of the people
gathered around them, and I remember a cold afternoon in September one year
those eyes met mine, just for a second. I remember it like it was yesterday.
 
What am I even thinking? I'm 15, he's almost 20 years older than me, he's
successful, fucking gorgeous...I have no chance. None whatsoever. My heart sank
into my stomach as I walked into his room, and I could feel his anger prickling
in the air. This was going to be a long fucking night.
 
"You can have the bed, I'll go find another room," he said curtly, not
bothering to hide the fact he was fuming mad.
 
"No, I can find somewhere else. This is your room," I spit, matching his tone,
but I wasn't actually angry. More hurt than anything.
 
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing circles with his thumb
and forefinger. "I'm not angry, Eren."
 
"Heichou, I don't fucking believe you....look, I know you saved my life, I know
this is probably torture, being stuck with me all day, but...I'm human," I
started, and his face changed at my exasperated tone, from angry to curious.
"I'm not just a Titan shifter, I'm a person. I have emotions other than anger,
I have things I need to do before I get killed.
 
"Armin was one of them. That was the culmination of years of pent-up feelings
you interrupted. I'm not going to live through this, Heichou...I have to use
what little time I have left to do what I need to do. You of all people should
understand that," I muttered, then sat in a chair in the corner of the room. I
was emotionally exhausted, and I just wanted to sleep.
 
"Why are you thinking like that?!," he spit, fists clenched at his sides. "You
have the means to survive, Jaeger! You can become the enemy, heal like them,
devour the-"
 
"Exactly. Do you honestly think that the king is going to let me live with
power like this? I might be pissy and overzealous sometimes, but don't think
I'm stupid. I play dumb so Mika and Armin don't worry, but I have a target on
my back. I'm practically dead already."
 
He raised an eyebrow curiously, and then his expression darkened and he looked
away. "Fuck, Eren...when did you get not fucking stupid?"
 
"Go to hell, asshole."
 
"No, really...I think you're right," he said quietly, as if he was thinking.
 
"I know I am, Heichou. They're going to use you to kill me, when the time
comes," I said shakily as I felt the tears form in the corners of my eyes. "I'm
just trying to live well until then."
 
"Listen to me, Eren Jaeger," he growled, kneeling in front of my chair. "I will
not kill you."
 
"You're lying!," I spit, and the exhaustion made it sound more like a plea than
an accusation. "As soon as your boyfriend tells you to, I'll be dead..." My
voice broke as a silent sob got stuck in my throat. "I...I can't trust anyone
anymore..."
 
"You stupid goddamn brat," he spit, grabbing my wrist. I tried to wiggle free,
but he was holding tight as a vise. "Erwin is nothing to me, do you understand
that? Fucking nothing."
 
"I heard you earlier, I don't care who you're fucking, just don't lie and tell
me you wouldn't kill me if he told y-"
 
"I wouldn't!," he snarled, jerking me onto my feet. He twisted a hand into my
hair and pulled my head down to meet his gaze, eyes glassy and brimming with
fury. "I'm not a fucking dog, I don't just lay down and do whatever that
asshole says. I want nothing to do with him, but obviously that isn't an
option, is it?"
 
"So earlier...," I began, but my voice trailed off into nothing as his eyes
softened. I could see the anger drain from his face and his grip on my hair
loosened. 
 
"Earlier was a mistake...it was a mistake I've been making for years," he
began, and he took his hand out of my hair and sat on his bed. "He has me in a
position that I can't exactly just cut it off."
 
I was mad and confused and guilty, and probably fifteen other emotions that
made no sense together. "So he's pretty much been taking advantage of you? For
years?"
 
"Essentially," he said dryly, "has been since the day we met."
 
"How can you stop it?"
 
He looked up at me, surprise playing on his sharp features. A strange thing to
see from him. "That's sweet, brat, but there's nothing anyone can do. He thinks
he's helping me."
 
"Helping?"
 
Levi scoffed, looking up at me through the few pieces of jet black hair that
had fallen into his face. Hair that I'd give my last breath to be able to brush
out of his face. "He thinks I'm depressed, and he thinks that's helping. Black
and white solutions to a gray problem, but all he does is black and white."
 
"Gray problem?," I asked, and he shot me a look that told me he didn't want to
talk about it, but I wasn't about to back down. Not while I was this close.
"I'm just trying to find a way to make it better, Heichou."
 
He looked up at me, and for the first time his eyes met mine and locked on them
with no anger or fear, unwaivering as he let out another sigh. It seemed like
hours before he spoke, hours staring into his gray eyes, steely colors swirling
like fog on the stone of the street after dark. "I fell in love. It was a
mistake and I never got over it."
 
"So that's the gray problem? The solution is pretty clear to me," I said gently
as I sat back down...the last thing I wanted was to make him mad again. "Find
them and tell them, whoever it is."
 
"I found him, I just can't have him. End of story, Jaeger. Go to bed," he said
dryly and stood, offering me his spot. I just kept sitting. I couldn't let this
go, not when I was so close to seeing what he keeps hidden from everyone else.
"What? Did I stutter?"
 
"No, but you need to talk about this to someone who isn't using it to get in
your pants, Heichou."
 
"Christ's sake, Eren, just call me Levi," he groaned, and when he saw that I
wasn't about to give in he sat back down. "Tch, fine, you bratty shit. He's too
young and fucking stupid, okay? Way too fucking young," he mumbled, catching
his head in his hands. "I've never had this shit happen before, so I just don't
know how to handle it. Never did."
 
"Just tell him. Even if you can't be together, it's closure. That makes it
easier," I said, and I wasn't sure if it was true or not, but closure had
always helped me. Not that I took my own advice.
 
I was staring the man I needed to get over in the face, trying to get closer
instead of get closure. I felt like such and idiot, but there wasn't anything I
could do. I'd never have closure. "You might be right. I might tell him when we
get back from the outside. Go to sleep, Eren."
 
"You should tell him before, if you can," I said quietly, almost a whisper.
"This might be the last opportunity." My stomach dropped at the words, and I
couldn't stop the shudder than ran through my body. 
 
I felt the color drain out of my face as I looked away from him, but I knew his
gaze was still locked on me. I felt dizzy, and reality was hitting me like a
ton of bricks as I slumped down farther into the chair. "I don't want you to be
afraid, Eren. It's my job, and Petra's, and Gunther's, and Eld's, and Oulo's,
and even fucking Erwin's, to protect you tomorrow."
 
"...not worried about myself," I mumbled as my body began to shake.
"What...what if you all die? Because...of me?"
 
"Eren," he practically purred, sending a whole new shiver down my spine, "that
isn't going to happen. Everything is going to be fine. We can handle anything
out there."
 
"I know, I'm just nervous," I said shakily, and he smirked.
 
"Don't be nervous...it's going to be fine," he said confidently, like going
into a Titan-infested hell didn't phase him in the slightest. My hands were
clammy, and I shakily wiped them on my pants. "Eren, are you okay?"
 
I wasn't okay. I wasn't okay at all. A silent sob left my lips as I looked up
at him through the big tears that had formed in my eyes. "I d-don't want-t you
to...to d-ddie, Levi."
 
"Mon précieux garçon..," he cooed breathily, and my sobs got caught in my
throat. I had no idea he spoke another language, and no idea what he said, but
my head started spinning and my heart started racing immediately. "I'm not
going to die, you idiot."
 
I felt my cheeks light on fire as I tried to breathe, tried to get my heart
rate under control, but it was no use. "...I...I-uh, still get...worried," I
stuttered out, and the butterflies in my stomach flared up with a vengeance. 
 
He looked at me with shock as I nervously covered my face with my hands, and I
didn't know why. What was he thinking? Did I freak him out? I was on the verge
of a meltdown when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Are you really afraid for me
or for yourself?"
 
"For y-you, st-tupid," I groaned, "I'm on borrowed t-time anyway...you have
someone to l-live for, Levi."
 
He sighed heavily and knelt down next to me. "No, not really. Not if you die."
 
"I'm not a hero," I spit angrily. "I'm not humanity's last hope, I'm just a
scared, worthless pawn in a game I don't want to play!"
 
"That isn't what I meant, Eren."
 
I immediately regretted yelling, his tone let on more than it usually does. He
sounded hurt. "Huh?"
 
"Fuck it," he spit quietly as he stood, and he offered me his hand. I shakily
took it and he easily lifted me off the chair to my feet. "I can't do this
anymore. I promise I'll explain when we get back. When, not if, do you
understand me?"
 
"O-okay, Levi," I managed to croak out.
 
"Now, please, go to sleep," he said gently, "I need you to be alert tomorrow,
okay?"
 
"Uh...where are you gonna sleep?"
 
He groaned and rolled his eyes. "The bed is big, we can share."
 
I felt my cheeks catch on fire, and the 85 different things I was feeling all
melted together into giddy excitement. "O-okay."
 
He started to take of his 3D gear straps, and he was much better at it than me,
I still ended up tangled in mine most of the time. Out of all the men in the
Survey Corps he and Erwin were the only ones that I hadn't seen naked yet, as
they had private showers. Of course I had studied Levi's clothed body many
times, but when he unbuttoned his shirt and let it drop to the floor I almost
gasped.
 
Every single ridge of muscle was toned and tight, body obviously maintained to
absolute peak fitness. His skin was riddled with scars and friction marks were
burned in from the straps of his 3D gear, like a beautiful road map over his
skin, his hard-fought victories written in his very flesh. Each muscle
contracted in it's own mesmerizing way as he pulled his belt and pants off,
exposing his black boxer briefs.
 
He was toned everywhere, every contour of his body making my mouth water as he
walked over to his drawers and pulled a shirt out. It was a plain t-shirt, way
too big for him, and it almost looked like a dress when he pulled it on. "What,
Jaeger?"
 
I snapped back into reality and realized I had been gawking. Badly.
"Oh...sorry..."
 
He just clicked his tongue, returning to the same drawer and handing me a
similar shirt. I flushed even darker at the thought of changing in front of
him, but I really didn't have any choice. I hadn't trained today, so I didn't
have to worry about embarrassing myself with the 3D straps, so I just pulled my
shirt off over my head and dropped it to the floor next to his, then quickly
put the shirt he gave me on before taking off my pants.
 
He was a chiseled god, and I didn't like the thought of being naked around
someone that was practically perfect while I looked like I did. Still pretty
fucking scrawny. I slipped my pants off next, thanking whatever gods there
might be that I had worn nice boxers today. When I turned back around Levi was
already in bed, in his tiny spot in the corner, wrapped in the impossibly soft
comforter.
 
He looked so peaceful. You never imagine men like him doing normal things like
sleeping and eating, only being heroes. I guess heroes really are human too. I
crawled into bed next to him, staying as close to the edge as I could to avoid
touching him. Not that I wanted to avoid that, but I needed to. I didn't want
to make this any more awkward.
 
As my head his the amazingly soft pillow my tears formed again, and my thoughts
went back to what was going to happen tomorrow. I'd have to see them again. My
worst nightmares, hell, everyones. I wondered if everyone was in their rooms,
silently crying into their pillowcases. Suddenly I felt a hand in my hair.
"Eren, sleep. I'm right here, and I'll be with you the whole time."
 
The small hand carding gently through my hair put me to sleep.
Chapter End Notes
     We are getting closer, my little darlings. <3
***** Falling Apart *****
Chapter Summary
     Instincts run rampant.
Chapter Notes
     Oh holy hell I'm not dead, guys!
     Yeah, so I could attempt to make an excuse for not updating for
     MONTHSSSS but honestly I suck at balancing my work life with the rest
     of my life.
     But I have changed jobs, much less stress.
     Here it is, kiddies...the moment all your perverted asses have been
     waiting for...
     I'm really sorry about never updating, guys. I'll try to do better
     now.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
When I woke up I had almost forgotten where I was, but the familiar scent of
lemon soap on the blanket made me remember. Levi's bed.
 
I glanced up at the clock, it was 300 hours, so I still had a few hours left to
sleep, but I really didn't need it. There wasn't an ache in my body and I felt
so good. A good bed really does make a difference. I rolled over as gently as I
possibly could, but there was no Levi next to me. Just the indentation his body
left on the mattress.
 
It was dark save a tiny lamp that was lit on his desk, and he was nowhere in
the room. I rolled over a little into the middle of the bed and stretched out,
then my nose caught another smell. The smell of a late spring storm, rain and
honeysuckle, just like it smelled in the mountains when I was younger. My
absolute favorite smell in the world.
 
I wondered where Levi went, and I lazily got out of the warm bed and walked
over to the door, slowly cracking it and looking into the dark hallway. Finally
my ears found a conversation, one coming from Erwin's room.
 
"...not here as your personal fuckslave."
 
"That's never what this was and you know it, Levi. I love y-"
 
"Don't. Say. That. You've never loved me, you always needed me for
something...then it was my 3D skills, now it's for this."
 
"Do you honestly think he'll ever have feelings for you? You've treated him
like shit, you're old, unstable...I'm the best thing you'll ever have. Why
don't you see that?"
 
I heard a muffled sob, then a loud bang against the wall, like someone had
punched it.
 
"You honestly think I don't know that?," Levi spit, voice unsteady, like it was
one word from breaking completely. "I'm going back to bed, Erwin. Don't follow
me, Jaeger is in there."
 
I darted back to the bed and jumped in, wrapping myself up in the blanket and
pretending to be asleep. I heard the door creak open, and I didn't dare open my
eyes, but I heard sniffling that I knew was Levi trying to get himself under
control. It hurt to think that he could go outside the walls without so much as
blinking an eye, but whoever this mystery boy is had him in tears.
 
The boy was lucky, that was for sure. Levi wasn't like anyone I'd ever met, and
I'd kill to be the one he wanted so badly. I heard him sniffle one last time,
then felt his hand in my hair again. "Vous êtes la chose la plus importante
dans ma vie, Eren. Je t'aime plus que tu ne peux l'imaginer," he said softly,
and I had no idea what he had said, but it made my heart flutter.
 
He crawled over me to his side and slumped into the blankets. I warily opened
my eyes just a bit, and I was able to see his face. Even with his tear-stained
cheeks and bloodshot gray eyes he was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever
seen. I couldn't help but hate Erwin, hate him with every fiber of my being.
That bastard could make Levi cry, make him scream, make him moan...things that
no one else in the world could do.
 
...
 
"Oi, it's 600 hours brat. Get up," Levi spit, and I groggily opened my eyes to
see that he was already dressed and in full maneuver gear. I didn't even
remember falling asleep again, only being pissed at Erwin. I rubbed my eyes and
pulled the blanket off, then shivered violently when the cool air hit
my scorching body.
 
Levi raised an eyebrow, then the impossible happened. He grinned. My face
caught on fire as I pulled the blankets back over myself while he smirked and
stared. "Tu es trop mignon."
 
"Wh-what does that mean?," I said shakily.
 
He rolled his eyes, face quickly returning to it's bored-looking default. "It
means that you're a brat. Get up. You can use my shower, and I washed your
clothes and packed for you. Your 3D gear and pack are on my desk. I'll be in
the canteen when you're done."
 
He walked out of the room, and I just sat there for a second and collected my
thoughts. What the fuck just happened? He smiled, did my laundry, let me sleep
in his bed, and is letting me use his private shower. Does he not actually hate
me? Maybe my (probably extremely short) time in the Survey Corps won't be so
bad after all.
 
...
 
"Here begins the 57th expedition beyond the walls!," Erwin shouted as the gate
opened. My hands were sweating like hell, the reigns almost slipping out of
them as we rode out of the gate, but when we got out the nerves dissolved into
absolute awe.
 
This was a whole new world...one with a vast, uninterrupted skyline that
stretched for an eternity, wrapping it's icy blue over monstrous mountains and
forests, just as brooding and terrifying as they were beautiful. Trees that I
had never seen littered the beautiful green terrain, and much to my surprise it
was teeming with wildlife. Rabbits, deer, fox...there was some animal
everywhere you looked.
 
It made the ban on hunting inside the walls seem so silly, with all
these creatures just waiting outside. This many could have fed all of
Shiganshina for a month. The air was crisp and clean, no smell of food or trash
or people polluting it out here. "Eren, focus."
 
"Sorry, Heichou," I muttered, but I honestly couldn't have focused in that
moment if my life depended on it. I was in total sensory overload as the ground
passed beneath my horse's hooves, tiny flowers coloring the passing blur pink
and purp-
 
*******
 
"Eren, fucking wake up!," a frantic-sounding Levi spit as Eren was ripped from
his dream. His eyes shot open as he sat up and coughed, throat burning like he
had just swallowed rubbing alcohol. 
 
He looked over at Levi, who looked exhausted and relieved at the same time,
sitting on the bed next to him in some tight sweats and a Nirvana t-shirt that
looked like it was probably bought at one of their concerts back in the 90s,
faded and unraveling around the edges.
 
The only word Eren could use to describe what he looked like was perfect. He
was conflicted, only halfway informed of how they came to be a couple, but he
didn't really care in this moment. During his dream he had felt the same
incredible need for Levi as he did now, all these years later, and that was all
that mattered right now. 
 
That and blood.
 
His throat felt like it was tearing itself apart from the inside, and the
pained expression on his face prompted Levi to dart off the bed and to a tiny
white fridge that hadn't been there when he fell asleep. How long has it been? 
 
He opened it and the smell immediately hit Eren's overly-sensitive nostrils. It
was a medley of mouthwatering scents, ranging from florals to chocolate, all
hitting him at once. He looked over and saw it was full of blood bags.
 
He was so frenzied when he was newly turned that he paid no mind to the taste,
but now as Levi handed him three pints out of the fridge he took his time to
savor the subtle and not-so-subtle flavors of the blood.
 
Bag number one was obviously a woman, he could somehow tell, and it tasted like
cordial cherries and cream, sweetness tickling his tongue as the thick liquid
snaked down his throat and put out the fires within it. 
 
Bag two was another woman, this one not nearly as delicious. It was still good,
but it was a more muted taste, almost like a cup of masala chai with too much
milk, spicy but barely so.
 
Bag three was a man's blood, and it was almost like burbon and walnuts.
Strange, but still satisfying as Eren emptied it and was finally able to
swallow without feeling like his throat was ripping apart. "Shit, brat...you
scared the hell out of me."
 
"What're you talking about?," Eren asked groggily, still in a half-asleep
stupor as he tried to process all the information he gained from his dream.
 
"You were out for almost two goddamn days! I put you to sleep, but I didn't
expect you to sleep so fucking long!," he bit, and Eren cowered away. He'd
never been afraid of Levi after they'd met properly in this life up to this
point, but he didn't know how dangerous he was. Armed with the memories he had
now, he was a lot less trusting. "Oh shit....fuck me, I'm sorry Eren. I was
just worried that you wouldn't get up..."
 
"I...it's okay, Levi...I'm just a little overwhelmed. I'm feeling so many
different things right now," he said sheepishly, and he felt kind of silly for
be afraid. Levi wasn't going to hurt him and he knew it, but the man was as
intimidating as he was beautiful. Eren grinned shyly and stretched out his
arms, and Levi's face lit up as he scooped him up into his lap. "I'm so
confused."
 
"About what, mon cherí?," the raven purred as he ran a hand through Eren's
messy hair. The brunet leaned into the touch, trying his damndest to be as
close as possible to Levi, every inch of his body that could touch him trying
desperately to do so as he squirmed in the raven's lap. "Oi, you trying to
crawl into my skin or something?"
 
Eren ignored the sass. "Do you remember our first trip outside the walls
together?"
 
Levi rolled his eyes and held Eren tightly, tightly enough to satisfy the
brunet's need for contact. "I remember everything that has to do with you,
brat. Yes."
 
"So the night before we left, were you going to tell me you loved me?," Eren
asked shyly as he felt a blush creep across his cheeks.
 
Levi chuckled. "Yeah, I wanted to, but I waited until we wer-"
 
"No!," Eren shouted and clapped a hand over Levi's mouth. "I wanna learn about
it in my dreams, don't spoil the surprise."
 
Levi pried Eren's hand off his mouth and smiled. "Fine, fine...I'll let you
have your surprise, you little shit. I spoil you too much. Always have."
 
"Yeah, you do," the brunet purred, voice low and full of mischief. "The Captain
Levi let a poor little cadet sleep in his bed."
 
"You brat," Levi spit jokingly, "you were always welcome in my bed and you
always will be."
 
Eren's body was betraying him, and the unquenched lust he was feeling when he
was newly turned was coming back with a vengeance. He felt his nerve endings
ignite with some sort of hyperactive energy as Levi's soft hands rubbed the
skin on his upper arm, exposed by the t-shirt he never remembered putting on.
"Corporal, I've been naughty."
 
Levi's steely gray eyes found teal ones and locked on them, and if Eren wasn't
so overwhelmingly aroused he would have been embarrassed at the look the raven
was giving him. It was primal, like nothing he had ever seen, like a beast in
heat. "Have you, Jaeger?"
 
The tone of his voice was dangerous, so low and threatening it almost made Eren
fidget. This was the man that had been in his dreams, ever so commanding and
deliciously confident in himself. The one Eren fell in love with. Every sense
skyrocketed as he felt his body respond, pressure building in the front of his
tight black underwear. "Yes, Corporal. You're going to have to discipline me."
 
"Discipline, huh?," Levi growled, one thin hand leaving Eren's arm and moving
to brush against his Adam's apple. "You are an insubordinate little shit,
aren't you? I bet I can make you submit."
 
A shiver ran from Eren's throat all the way down his spine as he choked down a
moan that had threatened to escape. It wasn't a suggestion, it was a promise, a
promise that he was going to experience Levi's secret side, the side that
belonged to Erwin a thousand years ago. The side he wanted more than anything.
 
His mind was filled with the sound of Levi's broken moans from the dream, no,
memory, and he was determined to make him moan louder, fall apart harder than
Erwin could ever make him. His vision went strange, like there was a light
source behind his eye, and Levi smirked as he stared at him. "You have your
Titan eyes, brat."
 
"Huh?"
 
"Your eyes. When you turned into a Titan they turned this electric green color.
That's what they look like now," Levi said matter-of-factly, and Eren
cautiously left his lap to go look in a mirror.
 
He was a little surprised that he could see his reflection, guess those old
vampire myths aren't accurate. His eyes were almost neon green, glowing
brightly enough to cast a dim green haze on the wall around the mirror. "Wow,
that's so awesome!"
 
"Hanji is gonna flip her shit," Levi said dryly as he stepped behind Eren and
snaked possessive arms around his trim waist. "You and I are the only people we
know of with eyes like this."
 
"Do you think it means anything?," the brunet mused, quirking an eyebrow at
Levi's reflection in the mirror.
 
The raven closed his eyes and planted a kiss on Eren's shoulder. "I don't know.
We'll have to tell Hanji later."
 
Eren had all but forgotten that Hanji was going to be making random appearances
throughout his stay here, and his hypersensitive body couldn't go without Levi
any longer. Hanji be damned. He needed him more than he needed water to drink,
air to breathe. The lust was gripping him so tightly that it was suffocating
him. Then he had a thought.
 
Levi hasn't ever sated this lust. 
 
He said that he'd never slept with a single person since Eren. 
 
The brunet's dead heart wrenched in his chest. All these years of going against
his instinct, an instinct that was about to make Eren insane, just to save
himself for the slim possibility that he'd return. There was nothing in the
world that was more convincing that this was really a soulmate love than that. 
 
Levi was still latched into his back, gently biting the skin of his shoulders,
peppering the strawberry marks with featherlight kisses that made Eren shiver.
The brunet knew that this needed to be more than sex in the throws of
instinctual passion, this needed to be love. He needed to give Levi the perfect
gift, the one he deserves. Release from this horrible tension he's felt for
hundreds of years. 
 
"L-let's go take a shower," Eren suggested shyly, and Levi quirked up an
inquisitive eyebrow, but ultimately just nodded and followed Eren into the
bathroom.
 
Of course it was beautiful, and there was a bath that could easily fit 5 people
in it. He walked over and turned on the tap, adjusting the temperature to
almost too hot, just so they could stay in there longer. He was going to make
this a memory that would last, they were going to do this the right way. 
 
Levi had apparently figured out his plan and motionlessly lit several candles
scattered around the room. Eren drew the curtains, so now the only light was
the warm, dancing candles that softened the angles of his lover's face.
 
He walked over to Levi, gently lifting his shirt off with no resistance from
the older man, then knelt in front of him. He hooked a finger into the
waistband of Levi's pants, slowly pulling them off and letting the raven step
out of them. Levi's body was like a work of art, a beautiful marble statue
carved just for Eren to have.
 
He started on his inner thigh, trailing kisses, wet with the thin layer of
saliva that kept his lips soft...and they were so soft. Levi let out a heavy
breath, and sparkling now-teal eyes saw the tiniest blush root itself onto
strong cheekbones.
 
The kisses skipped the areas still clad in tight boxers, slowly making their
way up a tight and toned stomach, muscles responding to the touches by
contracting and relaxing in an absolutely entrancing way. Every inch was marked
with a kiss, like Eren was trying to convince the very cells of his skin that
he was immensely grateful for them, and irrevocably in love with each one. He
was in love with each one. 
 
Levi kept his hands to himself, letting the young brunet dutifully give
affection to every inch of his skin. Eren noticed the smile that had creeped
across thin, pale lips, and he felt himself almost tear up. Levi is the most
beautiful creature that has ever existed. 
 
He lifted off his knee, letting his still-wet lips make their way across well
defined pectorals, up to sharp collarbones, across a carotid artery that made
his mouth water. He made sure to pay extra attention to his jawline, letting
his lips tease the soft skin under it. He got to an ear, gently biting the
lobe. "Levi, I love you so much," he whispered, voice almost broken, like it
was a desperate plea and not an admission of his feelings. 
 
Levi responded by taking the t-shirt off of Eren, exposing his torso that was
still stained red with dried blood. Levi's hands groped at exposed skin,
pulling the brunet against his own body. "I love you more."
 
Eren smiled to himself. He didn't think that was entirely possible, because the
feelings that he had were already enough to make his unbeating heart feel like
it was going to burst. He wriggled out of Levi's grip only to remove their
underwear, tossing it into the floor somewhere behind them.
 
This would have made him so nervous before, but the lust clouding his mind was
so all-encompassing that there wasn't room in his psyche for worries. Only the
stark-naked, perfect body in front of him. It took every ounce of willpower the
brunet had to not just shove him to the floor and take what he wanted, but this
had to be special. There is going to be plenty of time for heat-of-the-moment,
sloppy, overly-passionate romps in the future. This is the one that matters.
 
Eren leaned in to Levi's perfect lips, planting a surprisingly chaste kiss on
them as he pulled him backwards to the bath. He felt the heat of the raven's
want, like their energies had intertwined on some divine level. A perfect
connection. The feeling that stood in place of an absent pulse, an edge,
flooded over Eren's body as they broke contact.
 
Wordlessly they both got in the bath, Eren situating himself onto Levi's lap
without a bit of shame. The mixture of the intense eye contact, Levi's turning
ever-so-slightly purple, and his straight, perfect cock pressing against Eren's
should have been enough to make him slow down, at least feel a little shy, but
nothing could possibly stop this at this point. Eren needed Levi like this.
 
Eren grabbed a sponge and covered it in soap, gently starting to rub all over
Levi's torso. The raven mirrored him, doing the same with another sponge,
finally getting the leftover blood off the brunet's torso. There wasn't any
need for words in this moment, they could both tell what the other was
thinking.
 
Just hold on, the longer this takes, the better it will be.
 
It ended up being Levi who did most of the washing, carefully caressing all of
Eren, who had to try way too hard not to rut into the older man. His cock was
almost in pain it was so hard, and he could already feel himself relaxing, like
his body wanted Levi's cock more than he did. Must be the new vampire anatomy.
 
Levi was careful to rinse Eren thoroughly, letting the now lukewarm water run
over his tan, soft skin. Eren felt his eyes start to change again, and his
fangs trying to bud out. His body wanted this badly.
 
After they got out, they dried each other, careful attention being paid to
every inch of skin on the other. It was almost like a ritual instead of sex,
like a rehearsed scene in a movie. Everything was understood between them with
no need for words.
 
Finally their lips met again, Eren melting into a much more adult kiss, letting
half-bared fangs click together as eager tongues danced a dance that was
written in the books of fate. Levi pulled him by their connected mouths back
into his room, letting Eren lean his bare body against the bed.
 
The kiss broke, and Levi's amethyst eyes locked onto bright green ones.
"Eren...is this what you want?"
 
"I can't live without it," the brunet growled, surprising himself with the
dangerous tone of his own voice. Levi's eyes widened, and a possessive hand
closed around Eren's throat. 
 
"You are so perfect," the raven growled in response, one hand still on Eren's
throat, the other holding his slim body fast against the bed by his hipbone. 
 
Then it happened.
 
With his newly upgraded hearing, Eren heard a car door shut in the driveway.
They both groaned, Levi obviously heard it too, and there was nothing to be
done but give in and get dressed again. At least Eren got a bath out of the
deal, he mused. 
 
The eyes and fangs weren't satisfied, and stayed for both of them, so Eren
hoped that it wasn't just the UPS man coming to deliver a package or something.
They both walked hand-in-hand down the stairs to the entryway, and much to
their mutual annoyance/relief it was just Hanji, who had let herself in
already. "LEV-...oh, I interrupted something, huh?"
 
Eren felt his face flush, and he nervously scooted closer to Levi's side.
"How'd you guess, shitty glasses?," the raven deadpanned.
 
"Eren's eyes," she said in awe, completely ignoring Levi's smartass retort.
"Wow. Levi, this is incredible."
 
Eren felt shy all of a sudden, like the shyness he should have felt naked in
front of Levi all crashed in his head at once. He shyly stepped behind Levi and
latched to his back, letting his arms wrap tightly around the older man. Levi
grabbed his forearm, a strangely extremely comforting gesture. "You're making
him very uncomfortable, Hanji."
 
"It-it's okay, Levi..," the brunet whimpered out, and then a feeling came over
him. An anger that he knew wasn't his own. Was he feeling Levi's emotions?
 
The raven snarled at Hanji, who knew it was only a natural response to making
his mate uncomfortable. Levi quickly regained his composure, and he let out a
heavy sigh. "Shit...I'm sorry, Hanji. Is this that 'tethering' thing you always
talk about?"
 
"It's fine, it's my fault for interrupting," she said sweetly, walking closer
to the boys with a medical cooler. "Yes, this is tethering. I'm assuming that
you haven't actually mated yet, right?"
 
"Right," Levi said curtly, and Eren just stayed attached to his back. It's the
only thing that can calm his nerves at this point.
 
"It happens immediately with soulmates," she explained. "Usually the pair has
to mate officially before they feel it, and even then it only works with
extreme fear or pain. You two are very in tune with each other."
 
Levi grabbed the cooler quickly, and Hanji took a few cautionary steps back. "I
love him more than you could possibly imagine...of course I can tell when he's
uncomfortable."
 
A warmth bloomed through Eren, and a lot of the nerves faded in that moment. He
nuzzled his head into the shorter man's shoulder and drank in his scent, the
scent of a late spring storm, and he felt so utterly content that he could have
stayed there forever. "You two...so damn cute!," the strange woman squealed,
then winked at Levi. "I'll go, see you later tonight, okay?"
 
"Fine," the raven said dryly, and Hanji took her leave. As soon as the door
closed behind her, Eren felt his fangs emerge fully, a painful emptiness
tearing in the pit of his stomach. Levi felt it too, and no sooner that the
emotion had registered in the brunet, he was no longer on his feet. Levi's
strong arms and pulled him up and forced his legs around his slim waist.
 
Feverish lips consumed Eren's, tongues clumsily navigating around sharp fangs.
Eren's body was responding in a way that he'd never felt before...he was
getting...wet? He felt his hole become slick and relaxed with no help of lube
or saliva. At first it was startling, but the more his body responded, the more
he reveled in the new, exciting sensation. 
 
He hadn't noticed that they were even moving until he was dropped onto Levi's
plush bed, the older man staring at him with the most consumed expression Eren
had ever seen. He could only imagine that his own face looked the same. He
wanted Levi so badly.
 
He felt all the nerves disappear again, and in a lust-fueled haze he stood,
quickly stripping off his clothes again as Levi watched hungrily. Something
came over him, and he decided that he wanted Levi right then. Right that
second. He let one hand run down his stomach, laying back on the bed. That hand
closed around his painful erection, while the other went past it, between his
spread legs and into his oh-so-sensitive, soaking wet hole. "L-Levi...fuck m-
me..," he pleaded, both hands working diligently.
 
Levi's face lit up, like he was looking at the most beautiful thing that he'd
ever seen in his impossibly long life. Eren panted, begged...pleaded to the
point of almost screaming in desperation for him as he just watched him,
expression growing darker and darker by the second. Eren figured that he was
sating some sadistic desire, watching him begging like a petulant child, and
for some reason he didn't mind. Something about the older man watching him
fucking his own hands was incredibly arousing in itself.
 
After what seemed like an eternity, Levi finally leaned over the pleading
brunet, letting a sharp fang drag across his earlobe. "You look like a
delicious little slut. Do you want me that badly?"
 
Eren made some kind of affirmative noise as he tried to wrap his head around
how Levi could still have any self control. He felt like his body was on fire,
and the only thing that could put it out was the cool touch of the man he loves
so much. "Levi..," he whined, "don't m-make me wai...wait-t anymore..."
 
The raven smirked dubiously, slowly lifting his t-shirt over his head, letting
Eren's eyes drink in the sight that was Levi Ackerman. The only sight he knew
he couldn't live without now. "I love you, Eren," he said huskily, letting his
sweatpants fall off his streamlined hips. His cock sprang free, big and
absolutely mouthwatering. "Tell me what you want."
 
Eren struggled against his heavy breathing to form a sentence. "...need your c-
cock, Levi...fuck me, please..."
 
Levi smiled devilishly. "Need it?"
 
"Fuck's sake, Levi!," Eren whined, pulling his fingers out of himself and
trailing the moisture over Levi's bare chest, "I need you."
 
This broke the last of the raven's resolve, and he grabbed the younger male's
hips and pulled him to the edge of the bed. Eren's body shivered with want,
hole pulsating in a way he's never even come close to experiencing. Being a
vampire seems like it's all it's cracked up to be and more.
 
Perfect, pale lips found Eren's, invading his mouth with a skilled tongue and
his hole with skilled fingers, though there was little need. Eren was ready. 
 
The brunet's hands found their way into Levi's hair, twisting jet black locks
tightly around his fingers as he pulled him down on top of him. The older man
let him do it, feeling the warmth of Eren's cock pressed against his stomach,
teasing the hole that didn't really need it, but the brunet's little moans and
gasps let him know that it was appreciated.
 
Finally Eren had reached his limit. "Levi...fuck me right now, you basta-"
 
Before he could finish his sentence, his voice was sent into a growl by the
raven suddenly sheathing himself completely inside Eren. As ready as the
younger male had thought he was, Levi's big cock still stretched him to his
limit, sliding against his inner walls with a friction that was making his eyes
water. Not to say it wasn't the most incredible thing he'd ever felt. It was.
 
"Oh fuck, brat," Levi cooed. "You are so...fucking tight."
 
Those simple, plain words sent waves of pleasure over him, like Levi's voice
was just as arousing as everything else that was happening. The brunet moved
his hips a little, making sure he was taking every last bit of Levi. The raven
smirked, shooting him a look that portrayed more affection than he was used to,
and he felt his face flush. He was able to whore himself out to this guy no
problem, but the cute smirk on his face made him blush. This must be real love.
 
Just as fast as the look came, it left, replaced with one of burning desire
that he could feel Levi losing control over. With just a few more wiggles of
his hips that illusion of control was broken, and Levi withdrew and rammed back
into Eren.
 
Eren mewled at the intrusion, legs going more and more limp with
every violent thrust. Eren felt himself come apart at the seams, and every
feeling that wasn't Levi faded from his mind. He couldn't feel the duvet on the
bed, the temperature of the air...nothing but the man fucking him senseless. He
felt his fangs become painfully erect, and he didn't know how to sate the
burning in them, except to bite Levi.
 
To bite Levi.
 
Bite Levi.
 
Bite.
 
Levi.
 
Like something he couldn't control, he tangled his hand into Levi's hair and
pulled his delicious-looking neck to his lips. He hesitated, but Levi was aware
of what he was thinking. "Go ahead...suck me dry, Eren," he growled, and it
took no more convincing. The brunet sank razor-sharp fangs into Levi's neck,
and a mixture of a moan, scream, and guttural growl left Levi's lips. 
 
His blood tasted like nothing Eren had ever experienced, so much different than
only a few days ago when he was human. It was delicious then, but now it
flooded his brain like a drug, sending a warm, almost tingling feeling all over
his body. It was sweet, so fucking sweet, and he knew he wasn't going to be
able to stop until there was none left.
 
Levi was thrusting erratically now, all rhythm he had lost in the boy sucking
on his neck. Eren was in total sensory overload and barely noticed Levi lifting
him off the bed and wrapping his all-but-numb legs around his waist. This new
angle hit that spot inside him that, as a human, felt amazing, but now it felt
like his body was going to fall apart, not able to contain the pleasure he was
feeling.
 
He let go of the raven's neck. "L-Levi....going...going to...cu-cum soon," he
panted.
 
"Good," the raven growled, then sank his teeth into Eren's chest, again
bringing on an entirely new wave of pleasure. He felt Levi's hand close around
his shaft, already leaking, ready to explode, and he knew it he was almost at
his limit. Levi was drinking him dry, much more quickly than Eren had him,
probably because of all the practice he's had over the many years he's been a
vampire.
 
The actual orgasm hit Eren like a bus, and he was thankful that Levi was so
strong, because his entire body jolted and went limp with the release. Levi
pulled his fangs out of the brunet's chest, opting to lick at the cum that had
inevitably gotten everywhere, and it wasn't long until he came undone himself.
His spasming cock filled Eren full, and brought on a whole other wave of
aftershocks.
 
Levi narrowly avoided collapsing on the floor before tossing the both of them
on the bed, Eren sprawled on top of him. He carefully pulled out of Eren, who
groaned in response, suddenly feeling very empty without his spent cock inside
him. "Oh my god...I love you," the brunet sighed out, burying his head into
Levi's torn neck.
 
"I love you too, Eren...you're my entire world," the raven replied, and Eren
flushed. This was his Levi, not Erwin's, not anyone else's. All his.
 
He drifted into peaceful, blissful, perfect sleep in Levi's arms.
Chapter End Notes
     THERE'S BLOOD AND SEMEN EVERYWHERE!
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