Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/831487.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki
  Character:
      Jared_Padalecki, Jensen_Ackles, Danneel_Harris, Misha_Collins, Julie
      McNiven, Genevieve_Cortese, Steve_Carlson, Chad_Michael_Murray
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-06-05 Chapters: 1/2 Words: 6266
****** I Forget Just Why I Taste ******
by ladyxboheme
Summary
     Jensen is a senior, Jared is a freshman, but they've been friends
     since they first met through Jared's older brother 2 years ago. Now
     that Jared's in high school Jensen takes Jared under his wing, and
     they become even closer than they ever expected.
Notes
     Un-beta'd and pretty rough, but good harmless fun. The second part
     will be along shortly, but hopefully this will wet your appetite for
     more. Title from Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.
See the end of the work for more notes
Jensen's first day of his senior year wasn't exactly starting off with a bang,
but he didn't mind much. He leaned against the wall by the front doors of
Thomas Edison High School watching the underclassmen spill out from the big
yellow buses rolling in and out of the parking lot. His eyes were peeled for
one head in particular, one that would probably be hard to miss and would
likely tower over the other frightened looking freshmen by a fair amount of
inches. He chewed on the inside of his lip as he scanned the crowd, until Steve
blocked his line of vision and gave him a swift punch in the arm.
  "'The hell are you doing over here, boy? You were supposed to meet us in the
senior lot," Steve crowed over the din of shrieking 14 year old girls as he
looked at the underclassmen weaving passed them with something akin to disgust.
  "I told you man, I told Jeff I'd meet up with his brother to help him out on
his first day," Jensen answered while trying to peer past Steve's head back
toward the crowd.
  "What? Wait, when did you tell me this?"
  "Like 2 days ago, at Jason's party," Jensen sighed and finally just grabbed
Steve and moved him to the side so he could see without straining. Though
Jensen wasn't even looking at Steve he could practically hear his eyes rolling.
  "Jensen, darlin', was I baked like a fucking cake when you told me this?"
  Jensen laughed, "Yeah, probably."
  "Then you'll forgive the fact that I DON'T FUCKING REMEMBER. Where the hell
is Jeff anyway? No wait, let me guess," Steve interjected when Jensen sighed
again, "you already told me that too, huh?"
  "As a matter of fact I did. He's doing post secondary at St. Mary's."
  "Ah, so you're standing in as big brother?"
  "Yeah, just gonna show Jared around a bit. He's a good kid, used to tag along
when we'd hang out after games and what not. And he was in debate with Kenzie
when she was in 8th and he was in 7th. Jeff just wants me to show him around,
make sure he stays out of trouble. Keep him away from rednecks like you,"
Jensen said with a smirk, but Steve doesn't even take the bait. He just heads
back towards his truck, tossing a "Well you have fun with that" over his
shoulder as he goes.
  Jensen had been friends with Jeff for a couple of years, and when he had
asked Jensen to keep an eye out for his little brother, Jensen happily agreed.
Jensen had begun to believe it was impossible to not like Jared Padalecki. He
was smart and mature for his age, but also kind of like a puppy - excitable,
goofy, and overly affectionate. After hanging out at the Padalecki's place a
few times, and trying his damnedest to maintain the  'I'm older therefore
cooler' superiority  that all older kids reign over little brothers and
sisters, he folded like a bed sheet under Jared's puppy dog eyes and his innate
ability to bring Jensen out of his shell. It was this weird unspoken thing
between them - they never went out of their way to hang out but whenever they
wound up in the same place they just gravitated to each other. Jensen elected
not to look too much into it, and was just sort of relieved that Jared was
finally in high school, so maybe their friendship wouldn't seem quite as weird.
  Finally Jensen spots  a slightly shaggy brown head bobbing along above the
rest, climbing the stairs toward the front door. Jensen whistles and yells,
"Hey! JT!" Jared spots him and gives him a huge grin.
  "Hey Jen!" Jared says when he reaches him, slightly breathless and still
grinning. He seems bouncy and excited, pretty much the exact opposite of what
Jensen was like on his first day of high school. Jensen is impressed and can't 
help but smile back at him fondly.
  The bell rings and Jared bounces on the balls of his feet with barely
contained glee. This kid, Jensen thinks, but just ruffles Jared's hair and
tells him to get out his schedule. Jensen slings his arm around Jared's neck
and leads him to the freshman lockers.

****

  That morning when Jensen had looked at Jared's schedule he may or may not
have memorized it. It wasn't a big deal, he just figured he should check in
through out the day. So when the 3rd period bell rang Jensen just happened to
be waiting outside of Jared's physics class. "Lunch?" Jensen asked, and Jared
flashed those stupid dimples at him and said "Lead the way."
  "So, how's it going so far? "
  "It's good, it's good. Nothing I can't handle."
  "Are you making friends?" Jensen asked in a voice that sounded impressively
similar to Jared's mother, while also dripping with sarcasm.
  Jared laughed at the impression and nodded, "Yeah in physics I got partnered
up with this guy Chad-"
  "Wait, Chad? As in Murray?"
  "Yeah, ya know him?"
  "Everyone knows Chad. Unfortunately. He's technically a sophomore, even
though he flunked like half of his classes last year. Which might be why he's
in freshman physics with you. Kid's a spaz."
  Jared laughed again but just said "Nah, he's alright," as he sidled up to the
end of the lunch line. "But I appreciate the concern. We're not all up to our
eyeballs with friends like you are Mr. Ackles."
  Jensen rolled his eyes and joined the line, cutting in front of Jared in the
process. "I'm not like popular or anything," he said, ignoring Jared's
incredulous glare. "I'm just... active. You do a lot of shit, you meet a lot of
people, that's just how it works."
  "Oh you don't say. So you're saying it wasn't your sparkling personality that
attracted your friends, it was your extracurriculars?" Jared snarked, reaching
over Jensen's tray for a bag of french fries, mainly to just get in Jensen's
way.
  "You know what I mean," Jensen replied, smacking Jared's freakishly long arms
away and filling his own tray. "Let's see, I met Mike in Drama, met Matt
through baseball, met Jason in Key Club, and Chris and Steve are just dumb
enough to let me play with their guitars whenever I get the chance. And ya
know, Tom does football and Jeff did basketball."
  "Ah yes, but do you do football or basketball Jensen?" Jared drawled with a
glint in his eye.
  Jensen already knew where this was going. "No, smartass. You know that I do
Bell Guard in the fall and winter."
  "You mean cheer lead."
  "Bell Guard," Jensen barked.
  "Hey, it's cool man, I'm not judgin'," Jared said innocently as he sat down
at an empty table. He watched as Jensen sat down across from him and added,
"But let's call a spade a spade here - you cheer lead."
  "Listen here Baby Huey," Jensen warned, "just because you're a smidge taller
than me now, doesn't mean I can't whoop your mouthy  ass."
  "A smidge?" Jared howled with laughter.
  "Okay, that's it," and Jensen shoved a handful of fries in Jared's open
mouth. They continued to kick and tussle until others joined their table and
their focus was pulled elsewhere. But Jensen couldn't help it that Jared kept
catching his eye and making goofy faces. Jensen was smiling pretty much the
entire period.

****

  The second Friday after school starts, Jensen gets a phone call from Jeff
thanking him for being so awesome with Jared and helping him out. Apparently
Jared "won't shut up" about him, and for some ungodly reason a blush starts to
creep across Jensen's face. He brushes it off and tells Jeff it's no big deal.
When Jeff invites him over to hang out that night, Jensen feels himself
hesitate, but he's not sure why. So he ignores it, tells Jeff he'll be over
soon, and grabs his keys.
  They sit by the fire pit beside the pool in Jeff's backyard, drinking coke
with a splash or two from Jerry's secret whiskey stash, and catch up. Jeff
tells Jensen about St. Mary's and Jensen fills Jeff in on all 2 weeks worth of
gossip from school. Eventually the conversation winds up landing on Jared.
  "Sounds like you guys have been hanging out quite a bit," Jeff says with a
smirk, stirring his Jack and Coke with one freakishly long finger.
  "Well you know how it is man," Jensen shrugs, ready to deflect this entire
line of questioning and wipe that knowing smirk off of Jeff's stupid face.    
"Lose one Padalecki, replace him with another. Without you there's this huge
deficit in my very being, and I have to fill it with someone."
  "Who is filling your what now?" Jared's voice asks from behind Jensen's
chair.
  Jensen twists his head around to watch Jared approach them, and reaches out
to smack Jeff's arm affectionately. "I was just trying to ease your brother's
jealousy." Jared ambles past them to one of the empty chairs and Jensen tosses
him a conspiratorial wink. "I don't think he approves of our new found love.
He's positively green with envy."
  "Aw, come on now Jeff. You can't blame me for whisking this pretty little
dish away from you," Jared says in a low purr. Jensen begins to laugh until he
fully processes what Jared had said.
  "Excuse you?" Jensen asks loudly over Jared and Jeff's laughter. "Pretty?"
  "He's so cute when he's angry," Jeff stage whispers to Jared, who laughs even
harder. Jensen punches Jeff in the arm and pouts over his drink until he feels
the toe of Jared's sneaker bumping against his own. He looks up to see Jared
smiling at him lightly, almost like a silent apology. Jensen smiles and knocks
Jared's foot in return. Jeff is oblivious and has already switched topics,
lecturing Jared about trying out for the basketball team in November. Jared
pacifies him with "Yes, Jeffrey" and "I know, Jeffrey" and snatches Jensen's
drink out of his hand. Jensen let's him have it and sits back, listening to the
brothers argue and inexplicably watching Jared's mouth wrap around his straw.

****

  At first Jensen's friends give him a bit of a hard time for hanging out with
a freshman so much, until they all fall under the Padalecki spell. It happens
so fast and easy it's equal parts hilarious and pathetic. It was only half way
through fall quarter and Jason had  talked Jared into joining Key Club, Steve
had started teaching him how to play guitar, and Danneel and Julie have set him
up with their friend Genvieve from the all girls school across town. According
to Jared, Gen's not technically allowed to date date, but they chat online now
and then and she's coming to the Homecoming dance with him.  
  Despite this, Jensen is still really really hesitant about bringing Jensen to
one of Steve's parties. Usually he'd leave it to Jeff, but he has started
dating a college girl, and needless to say even on weekends he has become
pretty fucking scarce. So Jensen finally broaches the topic, but Jared doesn't
appreciate Jensen's well-meaning concern. "Come on, man, don't be like that.
Steve asked me to come!"
  "I know, J but... Steve doesn't really have the best judgement. His parties
are a bit much. It's no place for a-"
  "If the next word out of your mouth is 'kid', so help me God I will break
your nose."
  Jensen's mouth snaps shut, because a.) he was totally about to say kid, b.)
he realizes what a stupid and shitty thing that would be to say and c.) he
knows Jared is 100% serious. Jared stares him down and when Jensen doesn't
reply, Jared's glare melts into those god damn puppy dog eyes. Jensen doesn't
stand a chance.
  "Ugh, fine! FINE. I'll take you. But you're riding with me, you're leaving
when I leave, and you're staying out of trouble."
  "Yes mother," Jared practically giggles.
  "Don't look so pleased with yourself. That fucking pouty face..." Jensen
grumbles. "You know, only like 2 years ago you used that same bullshit to get
me to take you for ice cream. I HOPE THAT GIVES YOU SOME PERSPECTIVE."
  "Would you relax? It'll be fine."

****

  It certainly was not fine. Jensen quickly realized there was no hope of
keeping Jared away from alcohol, and since Jensen drove he couldn't even go
down the rabbit hole with him. Fortunately it seemed to take a lot of alcohol
to inebriate something as large as a Padalecki, so despite the several beers
Jared didn't seem drunk, just his usual happy, jumpy, clingy self, though maybe
slightly amplified. The real trouble kicks in however when Steve gets out the
weed.
  A pipe is being passed around near the coffee table and Jensen is silently
tracking it with his eyes, hoping Jared doesn't notice or catch any interest.
But he's so busy watching the bowl he doesn't notice that he lost Jared
somewhere in the throng. Once he realizes Jared is gone, he looks around
frantically until he spots him in the corner with fucking Chad, laughing
together while someone passes Chad a joint. Jensen wedges through the crowd
quickly to get to them.
  Chad sees him first, and his smug little face smiles in his direction.
"Ackles! How you doin'?"
  "Murray," is all Jensen says in reply.
  "Hey Jen, sorry I lost ya," Jared says, putting his elbow up on Jensen's
shoulder and leaning against him. He's finally starting to seem the slightest
bit tipsy. "Chad and I were just talking about our Physics project."
  Chad laughed and lightly smacked Jared's stomach with the back of his hand.
"Honor Roll here was talking about Physics. I was trying to get him to lighten
up." And then the little fucker winked, as if there was some in joke that he
and Jensen shared about corrupting sweet unassuming Jared, and Jensen auddenly
wanted to punch him in the nose.
  While Jensen cracks his knuckles one by one in his fist at his side, Chad
passes Jared the joint."Woah now!" Jensen jumps, plucking it out of Jared's
hand as delicately but quickly as possible. Chad looks at them strangely, so
Jensen shoots him a glare and tugs Jared out onto the back porch, the joint
stil pinched between his fingers. "Are you kidding me, man?"
  "What's the big deal? You can't tell me you never tried it at my age," Jared
said as he hopped up and perched on the railing.
  Jensen deflated and hopped up beside Jared. "No, you're right. I was your
age. But I don't make a habit of it."
  "Who said anything about making a habit of it? I was just gonna try," Jared
said with a shrug.
  "Have you ever even smoked a cigarette before?" Jensen asked. Jared shook his
head and Jensen couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh well then this should be
stunning," and handed Jared the joint.
  Jared took a drag and almost immediately coughed out the entire cloud of
smoke, teetering precariously on the porch railing. Jensen laughed and steadied
him, rubbing and patting Jared's back as he continued to cough. "Well," Jared
said, his voice horse. "So much for that experiment." They both laughed, Jensen
still absent mindedly rubbing Jared's back. Jensen watched Jared's profile for
a second, feeling the warmth of his skin bleeding through the fabric of his
tshirt.
   "Give me that," Jensen said, taking the joint from Jared who gave him a
confused look. "Try it this way." Jensen takes a shallow hit, and puts his hand
on the back of Jared's neck. Jared's eyes widened for a split second and then
slam shut as Jensen pulls him close. Their noses bump together and Jensen can
feel Jared's breath against his lips, seeming to speed up. Jensen rubbed his
thumb against the nape of Jared's neck and slowly exhaled the smoke into
Jared's mouth.
  Jared didn't inhale so much as gasp, and Jensen could feel a chill running
down Jared's back. Jensen pulled bad and studied Jared's face to assess the
damage, but Jared just blinked wide eyed at him and asked "Do it again?" so
softly Jensen wouldn't have heard him if they weren't sitting so close. Jensen
nodded and took another drag, and he felt his fingers tangle themselves in
Jared's hair as if he had no contorl over them whatsoever. He pulled Jared
close again, a little rougher than he meant to and he felt Jared gasp again. He
brought their mouths so close together that Jensen could feel the heat of
Jared's tongue when he wetted his own lips. He exhaled even slower the second
time, and Jared sucked the smoke into his lungs and held it. Jensen pulled
back, and Jared's eyes locked onto his, wider and brighter than Jensen had ever
seen them.
The moment dragged on for what felt like forever until Jared finally exhaled.
As the smoke curled out between them Jensen finally let his hand slide out of
Jared's hair. He patted Jared on the shoulder awkwardly and asked, "Was that
better?" Jensen hopped down from the railing and Jared followed suit, nodding
and mumbling a thanks. "Come on, let's get out of here," Jensen said before
leading them through the rest of the party, dumping off the stub of the joint
on their way out. Jensen drove Jared home in almost complete silence. Later on
Jensen would think back on that night and wouldn't be sure which he was more
proud of - that he valiantly ignored the fact he was rock hard the entire time,
or that he managed to ignore the fact that Jared had been too.

****

  Jensen is going to Homecoming with Danneel, which is pretty customary.
They've never technically been boyfriend and girlfriend, but every dance or
special event or drunken make out party they wind up together. Which is fine by
Jensen because a.) Danneel is one of his best friends and b.) she's hot as
fuck. All the freedom of being single with all the perks of having an amazingly
cool friend who let's you touch her tits. Win-win all around.
  Jensen's sure there will be some sort of party after the dance, but he opts
out of that to make plans as a group with Danneel, Jared, Jared's date, Julie,
and Julie's weird homeschooled friend Misha. He figures it's the polite thing
to do since Jared's date is spending the night with his date, they might as
well all just make plans together. And fankly he's not sure it'd be a good idea
letting Jared go to another one of his friends' parties. Not quite yet anyhow.
The boy still has a bit of virtue left.
  The dance is as lame as always but the girls look beautiful in their short
little dresses, that Misha guy makes Jensen laugh all night, and Jared looks
really great in a button down with his sleeves rolled up. That last one
shouldn't leave any sort of lasting impression on Jensen but it does so Jensen
simply appreciates the view and doesn't dwell.
After the dance the six of them end up in Danneel's guest house, drinking cheap
beer and sissy wine coolers, sprawled around the floor playing truth or dare
like middle schoolers. "Jensen," Misha asked from somewhere near Jensen's feet,
"Truth or dare?" As entertaining as he was, Misha was also vaguely terrifying
so Jensen opted for 'truth'.
  "Have you ever had a gay experience?"
  Jared choked on his mouth full of Coors, Geniveve turned bright red and Julie
just started cackling. Before Jensen could even answer Danneel interjected with
"Psh, yes."
  "Hey!" Jensen said and socked her in the shoulder.
  "What? You have!" Danneel said as she rubbed at her arm.
  "I have not!"
  "Excuse me?" Danneel said, her voice high and incredulous.
  Jensen, reading Danneel's mind, shoots back "That doesn't count!"
  "What doesn't count?" Jared asked, eyes intent on Jensen and Danneel, jumping
back and forth like a tennis match.
  Danneel doesn't answer Jared but continues to address Jensen, "Jerking off
with your friends doesn't count?!"
  "No!" Jensen argued, his voice cracking slightly. Julie and Danneel scoff
simultaneously, Geniveve giggles, Jared seems completely frozen and Misha is
smiling a small, positively evil smile. "It does not count. For one, all guys
do shit like that, okay? And secondly it's not like we kissed or anything."
  "That's how you gauge what's gay? Whether you kiss or not? Playing with each
other's dicks, totally okay and manly. But kissing, woooah buddy watch out for
the gay!" Julie rants. Jensen always knew she was an angry drunk.
  "Hey, wait a second. This isn't some mysoginistic gay panic thing okay, so
settle down. Yes, I have gotten off with a few friends who shall remain
nameless," Jensen said very diplomatically, to which Danneel quickly added a
"*cough*TomWelling*cough*" but Jensen ignored her and carried on. "But it's
true, guys do that circle jerk shit all the time and they will go their whole
lives never admitting to having doen anything gay. Now, I am 100% secure in my
masculinity. I'm a cheerleader for Christ's sake," and Jensen sees the side of
Jared's mouth quirk up for a split second. "And I know I'm not gay, as Danneel
here can attest," and Danneel did raise her bottle in quick salute to Jensen's
heterosexual activities, "But I'm probably not exactly straight either. I don't
think anyone really is. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and there is
nothing wrong with kissing dudes. It just so happens that I never have."
  There's a beat of silence after Jensen stops talking, and then the entire
circle starts clapping like he just gave some great speech. Jensen lifted his
beer to his mouth and mumbled, "Shut up." But as soon as he pulled the bottle
away from his lips there was a wild Misha in his lap, grabbing his face and
kissing him quick and hard. When he pulls back, Jensen just blinks up at him,
Misha's grip on his face squishing his cheeks and probably making him look like
a gaping fish.
  "There. Now you have. And if anyone asks you that question in the future you
won't have to deliver an entire State of the Union Address, you can just give a
simple 'yes'."
  Misha climbed off of Jensen as he gave a simple "Uh... thanks?" and the girls
all laughed. Jared meanwhile, Jensen noticed, didn't seem quite as amused.
  Not long after that the boys took their leave, Misha waving as he climbed
into his creepy van and Jared and Jensen in Jensen's truck. They talked easily
about Geniveve and the dance overall. But when they pulled up out front of
Jared's house, Jared fell silent and made no move to get out of the truck. "You
alright?" Jensen asked.
  Then before Jensen could even blink, Jared grabbed him by the face and kissed
him. It lasted .03 seconds but the silence that followed seemed to stretch out
forever. "Uh," Jensen started but Jared cut him off.
  "I don't know! I don't even know what that was. Just that Misha guy, like
what the hell? He kissed you! He kissed you and that was your first dude kiss
or whatever, and it just seemed weird and unfair. Like, we don't even know
Misha that well, why should he get to be your first dude kiss? You're my
friend, you're my best friend, I should get dibs on random dude kisses right?"
  "Uh-"
  "Right, so hey second is better than never, and at least you're my first dude
kiss now and so that's done, and... yeah." Jared said in one long breath.
  Jensen just stared at him for a moment, focusing so hard on that brief
feeling of Jared's lips on his that his mouth feels like it's going numb. And
as he watches Jared blush bright red and try to catch his breath, Jensen is
overwhelmed with so much affection towards him that he just starts laughing.
Laughing and laughing and can't stop. At first Jared looked pissed off, then
confused, and then he started laughing too. Jensen reached over and pull Jared
towards him and kissed him on the top of the head. "Well, good. I'm glad that's
out of the way then."

****

  Jensen and Danneel are packing up the mats after Bell Guard practice in the
gym and discussing the winter schedule when Danneel suddeny changes the subject
completely. "You and Jared have been hanging out a lot."
  Jensen blinks at her for a moment before shrugging, "Yeah I suppose so."
  "You suppose?" Danneel says, laughter in her voice and her eyebrows raised.
  "What? He's a good guy, I like hanging out with him. What's the big deal.?"
  "It's not a big deal. It's adorable."
  "Adorable?" Jensen says with disgust.
  "How close you too are. The way he looks at you." Danneel says casually.
  "What do you mean?" Jensen asks.
  "You've never noticed before?"
  "No?"
  "Huh, interesting. Because you do it too."
  "Do what?!" Jensen says, getting frustrated from confusion.
  "Whenever he's talking, you just watch him with this little smile on your
face. And he does the same thing."
  "No he doesn't."
  "Yes he does. And he follows you around like a lost puppy."
  "Would you stop? He does not follow me around."
  "Oh yeah?" Danneel nods her head to the far corner of the bleachers, and sure
enough there's Jared sitting in the top row, his head buried in a physics book.
  Jensen hadn't noticed him at all and he suddenly wonders how long he's been
sitting there, wondering if he watched their whole practice, and feeling both
embarrassed and slightly pleased. He doesn's admit this to Danneel of course
and instead just says "What is it a federal crime to study in the gym now?"
Danneel gives him a look that clearly says "You're an idiot." Jensensighs,
"Look, I'm just helping him get used to high school, helping him make friends.
The little shit is in so many AP classes, he hardly sees his old friends now.
And he and I have always got along. It's cool having him around now, ya know?
Not just tagging along like Jeff's little brother, but like a normal friend.
But we're not attached at the hip or anything. We hang out with other people
too."
  Danneel assesses Jensen for a minute, her tongue pressing against her top
teeth, and then her eyes flick back over to the belachers. Then she smiles and
says, "Yeah I guess you're right."
  Jensen follows her glance and sees Chad climbing the bleachers two steps at a
time, and Jared looks up with a big smile as Chad reaches him. He plops down
beside and Jared and the two of them start talking and laughing. Jensen frowns
despite himself, and tosses the mat he'd been holding onto the stack a little
harder than necessary. He see's Danneel shake her head out of the corner of his
eye but he doesn't say a word.

****

  Over Christmas break, Jeff's girlfriend dumps him. Apparently, he doesn't
handle it very well. Jared calls Jensen late Thursday night, voice low and
hurried like he's sneaking being on the phone. "Man, you have GOT to get over
here."
  "What? Why what's the matter?"
  "Jeff has lost it. Mom and Dad took Meg to see The Nutcracker in Austin, and
Jeff's using the opportunity to get shit faced and cry about his dumb
girlfriend. I need back-up here, it's getting ugly."
  "Oh for the love of- don't worry I'll be there in 10. Just... keep him away
from the pool."
  Jensen makes it there in 7. He let's himself in and when he gets to the
basement den, he finds a very annoyed looking Jared on the couch and six and a
half feet of drunken sad-sack sprawled on the floor. The look Jared gives
Jensen reminds him of when his mother glares at his father, silently demanding
"DO SOMETHING, ALAN." In fact it's so reminiscent that he recoils a bit. But
Jared glares harder and nods at the pile of elder Padalecki on the carpet, so
Jensen tiptoes over empty beer cans littering the floor like landmines and
squats beside his friend. "Hey, buddy. You doin' alright?"
  "Do I look 'lright to you, Jackles?" Jeff slurs into the carpet. Then lifting
his head and shoulders he gestures wildly over to the couch. "YOU. GO SIT OVER
THERE. LET ME TELL YOU A THING OR TWO ABOUT A THING OR TWO."
  "Uh, Jeff-"
  "HOP TO!"
  "Okay then," Jensen ambles his way over and flops down beside Jared, who
simply shakes his head at Jensen in disappointment.
  For the better part of the next hour, Jared and Jensen sit in relative
silence while Jeff drunkenly extropolates on the "horseshit that is love". Jeff
doesn't seem too concerned over the fact that they are hardly paying attention.
By the time he gets to his list of reasons why older women are the devil,
they've started a silent thumb wrestling tournament. That is until Jeff bellows
"JENSEN!" resulting in Jensen being so startled he nearly rips Jared's thumb
from it's socket. "I've known you for going on 3 years and you have never had a
girlfriend. EVER. How is that even possible? You were voted prettiest mother
fucker in the entire school for Christ sake but you still do that lone wolf
bullshit. How, dude? How have you steered clear of relationships this whole
fucking time?"
  Jared sort of frowns and turns to Jensen, saying "That's actually a really
good question."
  Jensen just shrugs. "I don't buy into it. What's the point? I mean what are
the odds of me marrying someone I started dated in high school? And frankly,
who would want to? So why waste your time being monogomous when you're young
and supposed to be having fun?"
  "You do it because you love someone," Jared says, like it's the most obvious
thing in the world.
  "Have you been in love with every person you have called you 'girlfriend'?"
Jensen asks.
  Jared's forehead wrinkles as he thinks, finally saying "No, I guess not."
  "See? And just because I don't date people doesn't mean I don't love anyone.
I love my friends. I love Danneel. I love you guys. That's enough for me. And
since I love so many people, I figure I might as get off with as many people as
I can get away with while I'm at it."
  Jeff nodded solemnly while Jared just stares, and Jensen holds his gaze and
watches as Jared seems to appraise him and what he just said. Then Jeff clapped
his hands together loudly and announced "ALRIGHT. ENOUGH OF THIS LOVE BULLSHIT,
LET'S WATCH SOME PORN."
  Within minutes Jeff has stumbled his way to his bedroom and back, hoisting a
VHS over his head triumphantly before jamming it into the VCR and fighting with
the remote. Jensen suddenly feels kind of queasy and Jared simply covers his
face with his hand and sighs.

****

  It only takes about 15 minutes into the porn before Jeff is passed out under
the coffee table. Jared grabs for the remote to shut it off but Jeff grunts
loudly and swings his arm out from beneath the table like a monster under a bed
until Jared drops it. They're quiet for a few minutes, just the sound of the
porn and Jeff's snoring and mumbling a low hum beneath the silence. Jensen
feels twitchy though he's stock still, and he's overly concious of Jared just a
few centimeters away from him. He's watched porn with his friends countless
times before, ever since they learned what their dicks were for and how to
smuggle videos from the back of Mike Rosenbaum's dad's video store. But this
was different for some reason, Jared was different for some reason. Jensen
slouched lower in his seat and tried to focus on the movie and not the sound of
Jared's breathing beside him. It felt like Jensen wasn't actually absorbing
anything going on on screen but he was still getting hard, and he knew Jared
was too. Jared slouched down as well, and soon they were leaning against each
other shoulder to shoulder, with their sprawled legs going off in opposite
directions along the edge of the couch.
  Finally Jared whispered, "You remember Truth or Dare? When you said guys jerk
off together all the time?"
  "What?" Jensen asked, his head foggy with arousal and crippling awkwardness.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, what about it?"
  "Is it weird that I've never done that?"
  Jensen huffed a quiet laugh, "No, J. It's not weird if you've never done it."
  "Oh." Though Jensen kept his eyes on the screen he felt Jared's head turn to
look at him. "Would it be weird if we did now?"
  Jensen's eyes flew to Jared's face. He was flushed and his lips were parted,
wet and red from him licking and biting them nervously. Jensen felt his stomach
get twisted like it always did when Jared looked at him with those wide earnest
eyes. It was a strange combination, what he felt towards Jared, this familiar
and ever present protectiveness and affection with an added sucker punch of
lust that seemed to sneak up on Jensen more and more every day. And with
Jared's face close to his in a dark room, the sounds of sex in the background,
Jensen allowed himself to finally admit how badly he wanted to see what Jared's
shining eyes looked like when he came. So instead of answering Jensen holds
Jared's stare and slides his hand over the front of his pants, cupping and
stroking himself through denim, and Jared stops breathing.
  Jared just watches Jensen's hand while Jensen watches Jared's face, and with
a swallowed groan Jared starts rubbing himself too. His eyes fall shut and he
lets his head drop forward, resting his forehead against Jensen's. Jensen can
count Jared's eye lashes, and he focuses on the feeling of their short breaths
mingling together between them just to keep from passing out. They haven't even
gotten their dicks out of their pants, they're barely touching, and yet
everything is so much more intense than anything he had ever done with Tom or
any other guy and maybe even more intense then all the things he's done with
Danneel. Despite how minor what they're doing is compared to all of that,
Jensen knows they're not going to last long. He feels too hot, and dirty, and
he hates how much he wants to touch Jared all over but he settles for the light
touch of Jared's sweaty forehead and the sound of tiny soft grunts escaping his
pink lips.
  "Before," Jared whispers, and Jensen can almost feel the words from this
close instead of hear them, "when you said loving and getting off with your
friends was enough..."
  "Yeah?"
  "Have you ever thought about this? About getting off with me?"
  "Yes"
  "How long?"
  "Since that party. Since I gave you that shotgun. Have you?"
  "Since I was 12. Since I first met you, Jen."
  "Fuck, J-" and Jensen wasn't sure what he was going to say after that because
it leaves his brain forever when Jared comes, gasping for air, hips jerking up
toward his hand, eyes locked on Jensen's and Jensen's done for, coming right
behind him with a soft cry.
  Jensen finally lets his eyes close, resting against Jared again and panting
against Jared's shoulder. He can feel the heat from Jared's blushing face.
Jensen wants to reach for him, wants to touch him and tangle his hand in
Jared's soft curls, wants to hold him so he stays close like this until they
catch their breath. But he doesn't, he leaves his hands trembling in his lap.
When Jensen opens his eyes again, Jared has a small smile on his face and
Jensen feels his lips quirking up too. Jared's eyes are on Jensen's mouth, and
Jensen remembers that split second kiss from over a month ago, and he wants
more. Their faces are getting closer once again when Jeff gives an almighty
snort from beneath the table at their feet and they jump apart. Jeff's snoring
goes back to a soft rumble a second later, but the spell has been broken and
Jared and Jensen both laugh and sit up, squirming uncomfortably in their sticky
pants. Jensen rubs his sweaty palms against his knees and says, "I should
probably take off." He stands and Jared follows as he makes his way back
upstairs. Jared holds the door for him as he leaves but grabs Jensen's elbow
before he can head to his truck.
  "Hey, we're okay, right?"
  "Yeah, yeah of course! It's no big deal." Jensen reassures.
  "Yeah, of course not. Like you said, guys do it all the time, right?" Jared
says, and though his words are casual he seems nervous and somehow sad.
  "Right. It's just some fun between friends." Jensen says with a playful wink
and a punch to the shoulder, but the words taste bad in his mouth because he
knows they're flippant and just not true. Not with Jared.
  "Right," Jared says, looking somewhere near Jensen's feet. "Night, Jen."
  "Night, J." And Jensen heads down the sidewalk towards his truck, willing
himself not to look back. But when he climbs behind the wheel he sees Jared
still in the doorway, watching him as he drives away.

End Notes
     This took way too long for how rough it turned out, but I don't write
     very often anymore and I'm rusty. I am a grown ass woman with a
     bachelor's degree and I still can't keep consistent tenses for crying
     out loud. I genuinely apologize. If you recognize some kinks in this
     that also showed up in my J2 non-au from last summer, it's because I
     just can't help myself. Can't fight what ya love. Thanks so much for
     reading!
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