Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/305257. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Supernatural_RPF, CW_Network_RPF Relationship: Jensen_Ackles/Chad_Michael_Murray, Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki, Chad Michael_Murray/Jared_Padalecki Character: Jensen_Ackles, Chad_Michael_Murray, Jared_Padalecki Additional Tags: Sexual_Abuse, Underage_Sex Stats: Published: 2011-12-28 Words: 4981 ****** How You Stick to Me ****** by orbiting_saturn Summary Jensen's been in the system for over ten years now, so he's come across kids like Chad before. Kids like Chad don't go untouched in the system, too blond and pretty, blue eyes following Jensen with this junkie-bright glaze. Notes Explicit sexual situations involving underage boys. There are some pretty heavy references to sexual abuse in this story. Strongly suggest that you avoid reading if this could be a trigger for you. This made me a little uncomfy to write, so it might be a little tough to read for a lot of people. Jensen's been in the system for over ten years now, so he's come across kids like Chad before. He knows that sharp, wounded look like he knows the back of his own hand. Kids like Chad don't go untouched in the system, too blond and pretty, mouth like a sweet invitation. Three days in and the tense edge still cuts in every one of Chad's suspicious looks, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's some kind of miracle that Jensen doesn't know that sort of fear from personal experience. It's been three years for Jensen, since he moved into Elise and Marnie's place. It's the best foster home he's had and it's looking pretty good that he'll ride it out 'til he turns eighteen. But the couple of homes Jensen was in before this one, he got knocked around a lot. In this world, a boot to the ribs is still better than getting some perv's dick in your mouth. The real sad thing is, kids like Chad start to lose their heads when they're not getting it. A couple of weeks go by before Jensen can see Chad start to loosen up, get real sure that the there's no threat of danger. And that's what's worse, blue eyes following Jensen with this junkie-bright glaze. Living at Elise and Marnie's isn't exactly a foster kid's paradise, but it ain't so bad compared to what it could be. There are only a few rules and if you follow them, you can stay. Don't get caught breaking any laws, keep yourself clean, do your chores and stay out of the way. Don't snitch on Marnie for being a pothead. Don't make a bunch a noise past ten 'cause Elise works early and needs her beauty sleep. Aside from that, it's a live and let live environment. Marnie and Elise are sisters. The house was left to them by their dead father and it's just enough room to house them and up to five foster kids. The sisters don't take girls. With four teenage boys already living there, they wouldn't be allowed even if they didn't already have a rule against it. Girls are too much trouble, the sisters say, always getting themselves pregnant, wearing slutty clothes and stealing shit. Boys are easier, mostly because they stay out of the way and don't need a mommy quite as bad. Marnie and Elise can be pretty friendly when the mood strikes, but they're neither of them very maternal. That suits Jensen just fine. Jensen sort of likes Chad, for all that he makes him uncomfortable. He's a bit of a goofball, smiles a lot and makes Jared smile. He makes a big show of being tougher than he is, kills at videogames and basketball and talks with his mouth full. A lot of the time, it seems like Chad's trying to impress Jensen, which is sort of flattering in a really twisted way. What Jensen doesn't like about Chad is the way he cozies up to Jared. Jared came to the house a year and half ago and he's Jensen's. From the first time Jensen saw those sad-puppy eyes with the shaggy hair falling over them, he was a goner. Jared was twelve when both of his parents, sister and brother all died in a car wreck on their way to pick Jared up from soccer practice. He'd had a nice, clean life with a loving family and it had all been ripped away in one stinking second of cruel fate. Jared was sweet and sad, untouched by the system. Keeping him that way is everything Jensen wants. Jensen had a brother, a sister too. He doesn't remember much about them. He's got one clear memory of Mama taking the belt to Josh for waking baby Mac up, Josh all curled up in the corner with his too-short pajamas riding up over his skinny ankles, Mackenzie wailing in Jensen's little lap while the belt made snapping cracks across his brother's back. Jensen wonders about them all the time, where they are, if they got placed with nice families. If they're struggling through their own foster home horrors, if they remember him and wonder where he is now. It's maybe a little shitty of him for using Jared to fill that hole Jensen's family left in him. But if it is, Jensen doesn't give a fuck. Jared's better than this life that's been heaped on him. He'll do whatever it takes to keep Jared all shiny and sweet, protect him every way he knows how. If that means distracting Chad a little, Jensen's not above getting his hands a little dirty for family. And Jared is his family, the only family Jensen has. When Chad got there, Chris was only a month outside his eighteenth birthday. He leaves a week early, no big deal, Marnie and Elise don't even seem to notice that he's gone. Chris hooked up with some guys in a band, gone to hit it big in Austin with his acoustic guitar and country-boy good looks. Jensen tells him to call and wishes him luck and he actually hopes to hear from him. Chris is sort of a punk, but he managed to keep his messes out of the house, away from Jensen and Jared. He taught Jensen to play some chords on his guitar and would give Jared half his share of anything to eat. Chris was a good guy and Jensen will miss him. Chris isn't gone more than a day before Chad is knocking furtively at Jensen's bedroom door. Jensen's already been thinking about asking Elise and Marnie to move Chad into Chris' empty bed, just to get him out of Jared's room. He's still trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for the request without alerting them to Chad's issues. "Come in," Jensen answers the knock. He's spread out on his twin bed, belly down with a back-dated Rolling Stone and a scratchy classic rock station playing on the cheap radio Elise gave him from her dad's old attic junk. Jensen raises his head to watch Chad slip into his room and close the door behind him. Chad's a lanky fifteen, just starting to put muscle on and Jensen can see just about every line of it. He's in a wife-beater and boxers, leaning against the closed door, shaking a little but trying to front like he's not. He knows what this is about, but doesn't know how to put words to it. It's been coming for three weeks now. And Jensen's never done stuff with another guy before, unless you count jerking off in the same room, which Jensen doesn't. The thought doesn't gross him out like it does other guys and if he's going to do it, Jensen figures there are worse prospects than Chad. At least Chad's sort of pretty. "Want something?" Jensen finally asks, propped on his elbows and eyebrow quirked. Chad shrugs a little, won't meet Jensen's eyes, it's a far cry from the smug little smartass act he puts on most times. He opens his mouth a couple of times to answer, but nothing really comes out and his hands are pawing at the door behind him, almost like he's trying to get out. Jensen feels a flush of sad affection for the kid. He's not so bad really. Can kind of act like a little fucktard half the time, but there's this sense of tainted purity to him that Jensen understands as a little attractive. He's not exactly sure why the fact that Chad's all kinds of broken edges should be appealing, but it sort of is. With a slow sigh, Jensen pushes himself up to his knees and sits back on his heels. He dips low in the saggy mattress, so his thighs spread a little for better balance. "Come 'ere," Jensen tells him, nods to the space he opened up on the bed. Chad gives him a dark look, something close to a glare, but not really. And Jensen gets that he's going to try to blame Jensen for what's about to happen. It's the only way for him to deal with it. Even still, Chad doesn't make a complaint and wanders over to sit at the foot of the bed as instructed. He's got his arms crossed around his flat belly, shoulders hunched up and tense, eyes on the wall and breath shallow and nervous. Jensen's still kneeling in the middle of the bed, only inches of air between him and Chad. Now that they're here, Jensen isn't quite sure what to do. He's terrified of doing something the wrong way and screwing Chad up even more. "Do you want me to touch you?" Jensen finally asks. He's gonna need a little guidance in this. Chad gives him a tense shrug, doesn’t look away from the wall. "If you want to." Jensen's eyes skate all over Chad's body, wondering where's the safest place to start. With girls he always starts with a kiss and goes from there, but Jensen doesn't think that kind of intimacy is what Chad's looking for. Lifting his hand slowly, like he might spook a frightened animal, Jensen lays his palm on Chad's cheek. It's flushed warm with tension and embarrassment, already starting to rough up with stubble. Jensen's fingers are curved out so only the tips brush Chad's skin, dipping index into the inner ridge of his ear, pinky resting in the slanted groove of his eye. Watching with sick fascination, Jensen sees just the barest tremble in his hand, made all the more obvious by Chad's perfect stillness. "If I do anything you don't like, just tell me to stop. I promise I will." Jensen's voice is choked and gritty, barely sounds like him. Chad only responds by squeezing his eyes tightly closed. Suddenly, just like that, Jensen knows exactly what he's gonna do. Shuffling around Chad on his knees, the bedsprings creak a little under his weight, Jensen leans back against the wall. He spreads his legs wide, cheap Wal-Mart sweats bunching around his crotch and stretching taut around his thighs. "Come on," he whispers and grips Chad at his narrow waist, pulls lightly, urging him back. With a hitching breath, Chad shimmies his ass back on the mattress until he's sitting in the spread of Jensen's thighs. He scootches all the way back until the rise of his butt is nudging into the weight of Jensen's balls. The new pressure is grossly exciting, finally getting his dick a little interested, slowly chubbing him up. Sliding one of his hands around to Chad's flat belly, Jensen pulls again, slight suggestive pressure to get Chad's back falling into the curve of his chest. The hard, compact muscle feels new under Jensen's hands. Way different than any girl he's ever touched, even different than his own body. Chad's smaller than him, softer in some places, harder where the bumps of his ribs press up under the rough material of his shirt. Chewing on his lips, Jensen drags his hand up over Chad's chest. Chad is holding his breath under Jensen's touch, all his muscles locked up tight, but he isn't shaking. Jensen lets the curve of his palm slide up the column of Chad's throat, feeling his Adam's apple bob when he swallows. Gently, Jensen pushes Chad's head back until it's fallen against his shoulder. The ends of Chad's freshly washed hair tickle Jensen's temple, smelling strongly of the green apple shampoo the sisters buy for them. Chad is plastered to the front of him, slight weight of muscle and bone cradled in the loose curve of Jensen's body. Jensen likes the pressure of it, focuses on the rise and fall of his breaths puffing his stomach into the curve of Chad's spine while Jensen brings his hand up and settles it over Chad's eyes. Jensen almost wants to coo and soothe Chad, gentle all of the tension out of him, but he can't baby him through this. It makes Jensen feel like a creepy rapist to think that Chad asked for this, but it is what it is. With Jensen's large hand laid firmly over his eyes, Chad finally lets out a long, slow breath, relaxes just a fraction. Jensen takes that as his cue to continue, tips his head down into the curve where Chad's neck and shoulder meet. He lets his mouth rest there, on the heated, sweat-damp skin of Chad's pulse, but he doesn't kiss, nip or suck, just breathes there. His other hand finally moves from Chad's waist to slip under the hem of his shirt, flattens out over the slight dip in Chad's pelvis. Jensen strokes slowly up Chad's narrow chest, learning the hard plains and dips, taken in a little by how hot and soft the skin is under the humid tent of Chad's shirt. Jensen's fingertips drift over the nub of a nipple and it makes Chad jerk and gasp. He lingers there for few seconds, tweaks and pinches the sensitive little bud while Chad squirms back against him. Chad's ass grinds into Jensen's dick until he starts to harden up for real, all full and surprisingly eager for the friction. Letting his eyes flutter open, Jensen looks down the long line of Chad's body. The kid is fully hard, tenting the front of his boxers, a little wet patch darkening the material where precome is leaking out. Jensen decides not to tease too much, only taking the time to press the pad of his thumb into the peak of Chad's other nipple, get it as hard and tender as the other. Then Jensen skates his hand all the way down, slipping under the waist of Chad's underwear, scritching through the rough hair just coming in around the kid's cock. Jensen bypasses the hard jut of Chad's dick for a second, lets his fingers dip low and curve around the soft heft of Chad's balls. Rolling them a little, Jensen gives them a good feel, gentle with the curl of his palm. The tip of Jensen's middle finger sneaks a little further down, presses against the taut strip of skin between balls and asshole. That always works real good for Jensen when he's getting himself off. Chad makes this little "nnngh" sound right by Jensen's ear so he takes a peek out of the corner of his eye. Chad's got his teeth gnashed tight, jaw muscles ticking and head thrown back. Chad's lower lip is plush and dark pink, trembling just a little. Chad's hands are fisting the sheets beside Jensen's hips. Bringing his hand back up, Jensen curls his fingers around the base of Chad's dick and gives it a good long stroke. On the way back down, he drags some of the wetness from the slit along the length, but it isn't nearly wet enough. Jensen pulls his hand out of Chad's shorts, ignores the little whine of protest the kid makes while he licks a slobbery wet strip over his palm. He can taste Chad's come salt-tangy on the tips of his fingers. For some reason it hits his taste buds hard and has Jensen's mouth filling with spit. Shoving his hand back into Chad's boxers, Jensen gets a firm grip on him. At this point, Jensen's feeling a little flustered, like he needs to get this over with. It's weird jerking another guy off if only because he can't feel it, can't gauge if his grip is firm enough or too firm. What does Chad like? Does he want Jensen to thumb under the crown the way Jensen likes to do? Or would he be happier to get a sweep across the slit where Jensen's too sensitive to enjoy? It doesn't seem to matter much, whatever Jensen does, Chad rocks up into his hand, short jerky thrusts that seem unwanted and instinctual. Over the low buzz of the radio, Jensen can hear the slap of flesh on flesh, Chad breathing fast between his teeth. His other hand is still over Chad's eyes and it's starting to sweat a little. Jensen adds a little pressure there, forces Chad's head tighter against his shoulder and stretches Chad's neck just a little tauter. The rock of Chad's hips have got his ass riding the hard line of Jensen's cock and he hisses a little at the friction from his sweats dragging across the bare, sensitive skin there. But Jensen thinks the slight pain is probably a good thing, like a very mild punishment that he deserves. When Chad starts getting close, he releases his grip on the sheets and grabs hard onto Jensen's thigh. Fingertips and blunt nails bite through the fabric of his pants, sting the skin and might bruise a little, but Jensen doesn't complain, just starts rocking his hips up with Chad, urging him to fuck Jensen's fist a little harder. The flesh in Jensen's hand swells just a little more and then Chad jerks, comes in pulses that dribble back over Jensen's knuckles. But the kid is quiet, breath catching and stuck on a moan while he empties out. After, when every drop is squeezed out, when Jensen's hand loosens and stills, Chad just melts. All of the tension seems to pour right out of him and he falls into Jensen like a puppet with its strings cut. Jensen pulls his hand out of Chad's shorts, smears the come on his hand into the skin of Chad's abdomen. For some strange reason, that gets a low groan out of Chad, who suddenly comes to life. Turning his body in the cradle of Jensen's thighs, Chad shimmies his lower body off of the bed so he's kneeling on the floor. Catching the elastic waistband of Jensen's sweats with the tips of his fingers, Chad tugs them down. Jensen raises up for him, lost and gone on the sick excitement knotted in his chest, drawing him up tight and horny. Chad gets Jensen's pants just low enough to free his hard and aching dick, sucks it straight into his wet, hot mouth. "Fuck," Jensen hisses roughly, hips bucking unintentionally so the head bumps right into the back of Chad's throat. The kid takes it all easy, lets Jensen fuck his mouth and throat, drooling around it. Jensen's never felt anything like it, the way Chad gives it up, is so careful with his teeth and knows exactly the right pressure. This poor fucking kid, who knows how many dicks he's been trained into sucking, because it's clear that he's experienced. Jensen's eyes flash open and closed, and he's just this side of sick with himself, tears beading up to leak from the corners of his eyes even as his balls tighten with the insane pleasure. Chad takes him all the way down, gets the head caught up in the tight clutch of his throat, swallows around it and that's all she fucking wrote. Jensen jerks his hips up, so deep he can feel the brush of Chad's nose in his pubes, and he comes hard. Chad takes every drop of him, tongue flashing around the pulsing slit to drink it all up. Head dizzy from his sick release, Jensen slumps loose limbed and weary, dick softening in the wet warmth of Chad's mouth. He's got both hands fisting the loose bedspread, but Jensen releases and slides his fingers into Chad's soft hair, pets through it and cups the crown. He's about to gently ease the kid off when he hears a choked whimper, not from Chad but from the direction of the door. Jensen's eyes snap open, still watery and itchy with tears, and his vision blurs hazy, but he can still make out Jared's shocked face peeking around the edge of the cracked open door. He's got his head and shoulders angled through the small gap, like he was just popping in to say goodnight or ask a quick question, but he's frozen now, eyes wide and soft mouth parted. "Shit. Jay," Jensen lets out in a rough gasp, but his voice seems to startle Jared out of his silent stare. A flash of hurt smears Jared's face and then he's swiftly backing out, dragging the door shut without a slam, but loud enough to alert Chad and have him drawing back from Jensen's lap. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jensen chants frantically, hoisting his hips up to drag his sweats back over his spent and sticky cock. Chad falls back on his ass, scrambles frightfully away from Jensen until his back hits the opposite wall. Jensen pushes up to a stand, frantic to go after Jared, but the sight of Chad hunching his shoulders, wiping his reddened lips with the back of his hand, stalls Jensen. Stomach tied into knots, Jensen swallows around a nervous catch in his throat. Everything he's just done weighs on Jensen like an anvil to the chest, beats around in his head like a furious caged animal. He stands on wavering legs and looks down on Chad, seeing all of that vulnerability that the kid tries to shove away in the day. "Chad, hey, just-" Jensen starts haltingly. "Just stay here, kay? Just wait for me here. I'mma go talk to Jared." Jensen waits for a response, but Chad just turns his face into his shoulder, hides it away from Jensen's searching gaze. He thinks he might hear a stifled sniff, like Chad is holding back tears and it makes Jensen feel like a fucking monster, like he's just as bad as every bastard who ever put their hands on the kid. Jensen feels years older than he is, but still he's too hopelessly young for this. "I'll be right back, okay?" Again, no reply from Chad, but Jensen sneaks out of the room anyway, feels like he's trying to escape, even though he just needs to talk to Jared. He has no idea what he'll say, is panicking to the point of trembling, but Jensen knows he has to find the right words to make Jared not hate him. Jensen can handle hating himself, but he thinks he might just die if Jared hates him. He slips quietly into the room that Jared shares with Chad. The lights are out, but the curtains are parted. There's just enough glow filtering through the window for Jensen to see Jared just standing, stock-still in the middle of the room, in the narrow space between the twin beds. It's been full minutes since Jared fled the scene of Jensen's crime, but it seems he's just been standing there this whole time, standing and staring blankly at that gap in the curtains. Back to Jensen, Jared's shoulder blades press out the thin cotton of his worn t-shirt. Jared's getting taller, too damned skinny right now, boney and ragged. If his folks hadn't died, Jared would be tucked up warm and safe in the suburbs, well fed, well loved and not even a shimmer of this mess on his horizon. Jensen almost crumples under his guilt. "Go away," Jared finally says, voice small and wavering, like he's crying. "Jay," Jensen sighs pleadingly, shuffles closer to reach out. Before he can get his hand on Jared's shoulder, the kid whips around and shoves Jensen away, both palms planted flat to his chest and all the force his slight weight can muster to send Jensen stumbling back. "Leave me alone," Jared demands. He's shaking and breathing hard, face hidden in the shadows, but Jensen can make out the sharp angles, sees the stubborn jut of his chin. "It's not what you think, Jared," Jensen tries desperately. "Well, I think I just saw Chad sucking your dick. How's it not what I think it is, huh?" Jensen's got nothing, all his excuses just dry up on his useless tongue and he works his mouth around the emptiness, grits his teeth on it. All of the angry tension pours off of Jared's frame and his shoulders slump, the outline of him all sad and defeated. Jared falls to the edge of his bed, sits with his thighs pressed together, almost primly. "Why'd you pick him, Jen?" Jared asks weakly. "I could do those things for you." Startled, Jensen rushes closer, goes to his knees in front of Jared and tries to look up in his face, finds the light slanting over Jared's profile. "Hey, no, Jay, no," rushes out of him. "That's not what that was about, Jay. Chad's, well, shit, Jay. Chad's kind of messed up, man. But I did that, I did it so you wouldn't need to." Jared looks up at him then, dark eyes under the fringe of his shaggy bangs looking at Jensen with nervous, youthful longing. Jensen's stuck to the floor under the weight of it, pinned by the stark, awkward beauty of Jared's face in the dim nighttime light. "What if I want to do those things with you?" Jensen shakes his head slowly. "It not about me, Jay. I'm not just trying to get my rocks off, with you or Chad or anyone." "But it is about you," Jared insists and leans closer. "Jen, I love you." Jensen can honestly say that he's never thought of Jared that way, never once thought to use Jared for anything but a purpose, for something to love and take care of because he needs that in his life. Jared's been like a little brother to him, just something sweet that needs looking after. But now, Jensen's had a taste of what it can be like with another boy, he can imagine it, what it could be like between them. "I love you too," Jensen breathes out, reaches up and cups Jared's cheeks in his palms. "But it's not going to be like that with us, Jay. Not now anyway." "But, Jen, I-" Jensen lunges up and kills the space between them, presses his lips to Jared's, soft and mostly chaste, so brief that it's barely there. "Ask me again in a few years," Jensen whispers in the small space between them, rests his forehead against Jared's and feels the soft tickle of the kid's hair against his skin. They're silent for the space of a few heartbeats, until Jared finally says, "Fine. Fine, but you can't do that with Chad again. You're not his, you're mine." It's so selfish and childish, but Jensen can't help his smile. He huffs out a laugh and pulls all the way back to sit on his heels. "Yeah. Yeah, okay," he agrees, and he's not even humoring Jared, he really means it. When Jensen gets back to his room, Chad's still sitting on the floor, back to the wall and arms propped up on his knees. He's got that tough-kid look back on his face, no trace of any tears or fright, jaw firm and eyes hard. He looks straight at Jensen when he closes the door, without a hint of shame, like he's daring him to say something wrong. "Is he gonna tell?" Chad asks, all casual-like, as if he doesn't care one way or the other, but Jensen knows it's bullshit. Chad likes it here and doesn't want to be forced to leave. "Nah," Jensen replies, sits across from Chad on the very edge of the bed, elbows to knees. Chad nods slowly, looks down in his lap. "Is he pissed at me?" "Pretty much, but he'll get over it. Jared's not the type to hold grudges." Things go quiet for a few seconds, the air heavy with tension, but strangely comfortable too, like they just went back to being Jensen and Chad, just a couple of kids shooting the shit or chilling out together. Like how they are in the daylight hours, when Chad isn't sizing Jensen up for something more and they can just be cool with each other. "Can't do that again, man," Jensen finally breaks the silence. Chad doesn't look up, just nods uncomfortably, like he was expecting exactly that. "Why'd you do it anyway?" Jensen shrugs. "Because you wanted me to." Chad sniffs and turns his head to the side, like he thinks the wall makes better scenery than the slanted dip of his thighs. "Know what's fucked up about that?" Jensen doesn't respond, just laces his fingers together and waits for Chad to continue. "I'm not even into guys. I like girls." It's not a surprise really. Jensen's met other kids like Chad, kids who suck dick like it's a bad habit they gotta kick, like it's a learned condition. "So, go get your hands on a nice set of tits, man," Jensen finally tells him. "You don't have to do that stuff anymore." Jensen twists around and splays out on the bed, crosses his arms under the pillow. "This place ain't so bad. Be cool with the sisters and they'll let you stay here 'til your eighteenth. Any new guys come in here and start waving their dick in your face, just bust them in the nose." Chad scoffs again, but doesn't comment, just pushes himself up against the wall and makes for the door. "Hey, Chad?" Jensen stops him. Chad tilts his face toward him, just glances from the corner of his eye. "Whatever your issues are, don't put them off on Jared, all right? I'm gonna be out of here in a few months and I won't be able to look after either of you. You gotta look out for each other, yeah?" Chad catches his lower lips in his teeth, has the decency to look contrite, which is proof Jensen was right about all those wrong looks Chad was giving Jared. But Chad nods and it doesn't look dishonest so Jensen lets it go at that and Chad slips out of the room as quietly as he snuck in. ~*~*~ End Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!