Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/383194.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      F/F
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Santana_Lopez/Brittany_S._Pierce
  Character:
      Santana_Lopez, Brittany_S._Pierce
  Additional Tags:
      Girl!Peen, Angst, Romance, Fluff, sap, Car_Sex
  Series:
      Part 1 of The_How_Not_to_Series
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-04-14 Words: 3719
****** How Not to Weather the Storm ******
by brittanafan
Summary
     Brittany and Santana are trapped in their car on the side of the road
     in the middle of a snow storm. How will they survive? How will they
     stay warm?
     Ninth in my "How Not to" brittana girl!peen series (gp!san). Contains
     smut.
Santana couldn't believe that they were in this situation. What the hell had
she been thinking, pandering to Brittany's insane desire to drive all the way
to Cincinnati in the middle of a fucking blizzard?! And all for what? To see a
stupid show about singing and dancing cats!? "I can't believe we're going to
die because you just had to see a bunch of grown ass men prancing around in
spandex body suits." She moaned in frustration as she slammed her palms on the
steering wheel of her parent's powder blue Prius. The car that she hadn't
actually asked for permission to borrow, and was now regretting that decision
big time. If she had told her dad of her and Brittany's plans, he would never
have let them out of the house in such inclement, let alone on the Interstate
in the middle of Bumfuck Egypt, Ohio.
Brittany was trying to remain optimistic, pointing out that they were close
enough to Big Butter Jesus that if they prayed for the snow to stop, he would
probably be able to hear them. "Oh, and what? He'll just  magically  send us a
tow-truck?" The latina had shot back, pointing out the window at the nearly
four foot high snow drifts that were currently surrounding their car. She knew
that they must have closed the highway at some point, since other than a few
asshole big rigs, they hadn't seen any other dumb-ass motorists attempting to
traverse that particular stretch of I-75 in over an hour. "Besides, Touchdown
Jesus burned down, like, two years ago..." It was true: the giant, yellow, half
statue of Jesus that made the tiny town of Monroe, Ohio actually worth
visiting, had since gone up in flames after being struck by lightning. At the
time, Santana had thought it was kind of ironic seeing as it had been built
practically in a lake.
The two had remained silent for the next ten or so minutes, until Santana
couldn't stand the sound of Brittany's sniffling any longer and had apologized
to the girl. Brittany had forgiven her immediately, and was now trying to pass
the time by humming her own rendition of "The Jellicle Ball", complete with her
own set of dance moves. At least, the ones she could perform in the incredibly
confined space that was the passengers seat of her girlfriends family's tiny
blue car. If Santana wasn't already preoccupied with watching the little red
indicator on the dashboard slowly drop towards the big "E", she would have
probably been amused the girl's impromptu performance. As it were, she was busy
trying to figure out what they were going to do when they ran out of gas, and
subsequently, lost their only source of heat. "We really  are  going to die."
She whispered to herself as she pulled out her cell phone and checked once
again for a signal. "Fuuuuuck..."
Brittany wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that their situation was
quickly growing serious, she just wasn't as good at solving problems as Santana
was. And if she wasn't going to be able to come up with a solution, other than
praying to a non-existent statue, then she wasn't going to waste her time and
energy worrying. Besides, it's not like they could actually  die  from spending
the night in a car, blizzard or no blizzard. As long as they were warm, and
rationed her gatorade and chex mix properly, then they would be fine until the
storm passed, right?
"Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuuuuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUUCKK!!" Santana began
to beat the steering wheel with her palms as the car began to stall; clear
indication that it was about to die completely. "Oh this  can't  be happening."
She whimpered in mounting terror and desperation as the vehicle suddenly
stilled; silence as well as goosebumps immediately cascading up and down her
now panicky body. "Brittany, this is  not  good." She looked over at the
blonde; barely able to make out her features in the enveloping darkness. With
the car out of gas, she didn't want to risk killing the battery as well, so
turned the headlights off. It was stupid, because she knew that no one was
going to be able to see them on the side of the road without the lights, but at
the same time, recognized the fact that no one was currently out looking for
them. If they could make it until the storm died down a little, and the highway
was reopened,  then  she'd turn them back on, and hopefully flag down some
help.
Forty-five minutes later, Santana was seriously re-thinking that decision.
Without the heat from the car, the below freezing temperatures outside, in
addition to the heavy winds found typically in snow-belts, had both girls
shivering in their less than adequate winter clothing. "I'm  so  sorry,
Santana." Brittany whispered through her clattering teeth, her gloveless hands
balled in front of her mouth as she tried to breathe some warmth into them. The
ambivalence that she'd been hiding behind earlier was gone. She knew that they
were going to be in serious trouble if someone didn't rescue them soon. "I know
I pushed you into saying yes... You don't even  like  'Cats'." The blonde kept
her eyes trained on her icy hands, afraid to look at her girlfriend and confirm
her suspicion that the girl did, indeed, blame her for their predicament. "If I
die first, it's okay if you eat me. I won't be mad, I promise."
Santana had been trying to remain indifferent to the other girl; afraid that
she would eventually end up unloading all of her anger on her if she tried to
participate in conversation. At her most recent comment, however, she found
herself unable to hold back a laugh. It was awkward and almost painful
sounding, but then she supposed it  did  match the absurdity of the girl's
ultimately altruistic offer. "I'm not going to  eat  you, Brit..." She turned
towards the girl, wincing at the stiffness in her frozen joints. "Hollow you
out and crawl inside your body for warmth,  maybe ..." she had been trying for
humor, but judging from the girl's somewhat shocked, though mostly confused
expression, her lame literary reference had obviously gone over her head. "I
really need to stop doing your book reports for you." She mused, shaking her
head as the girl continued to stare blankly at her. "Don't worry about it."
Reaching out, she cupped the girl's frozen cheek, giving her what she hoped was
a reassuring smile.
Brittany leaned into the girl's hand, greedy for the slight warmth it provided
her otherwise chilled skin. "Give me your other hand." She motioned for the
girl to place it on her opposite cheek, closing her eyes when she had done so.
"Mmmm... you're so warm..." she murmured, pressing her own hands over the
latina's in an effort to keep her from pulling them away. "I bet the rest of
you is just as warm." It didn't take long for her words to register with the
other girl, and despite her best efforts, she felt her hands quickly withdraw
from her face.
"Oh my god, Brittany! You're a  genius !" Santana exclaimed, her mouth twisted
into one of her more devilish grins. How had it  not  occurred to her to share
her body heat with her girlfriend? They did it all the time at her house,
mainly because her father refused to believe that his tiny wood burning stove
located in the family room was enough to heat their entire two story house at
night. Cuddling naked together under several layers of blankets was practically
a tradition now whenever the girl slept over. "Get in the back," she
instructed, moving her own seat forward so that they'd have more room, "and
take off your clothes."
Not usually one to object to such a request, Brittany did as the girl asked,
climbing awkwardly between the seats and collapsing onto her knees in the back.
Fumbling with her zipper, the girl quickly realized that her frozen fingers
weren't going to be much help in stripping off her layers. Pouting slightly,
she focused instead on pulling her boots off, hoping Santana would be able to
help her with the rest once she joined her in the back seat. The latina was
currently debating once again whether she should turn on the cars headlights,
noticing that the storm seemed to have died down a bit. Throwing caution,
literally, to the wind, the girl sent a silent prayer to the remnants of Big
Butter Jesus and clicked the lights on. "I hope I live to regret this." She
muttered as she pushed herself out of her seat and climbed into the back.
Brittany had opted to keep her socks on as she waited somewhat patiently for
Santana to help her out of first, her jacket, and then her sweatshirt. "Why are
we getting naked?" She decided to ask once she was down to just her
underclothes. Her skin had broken out in goosebumps somewhere between the
disappearance of her hoodie and her long sleeve t-shirt, and she rubbed at the
pimpled flesh with her equally as frozen hands while she waited for Santana to
catch up. The latina was busy trying to undo the closure to her jeans, her less
than cooperative fingers making the task nearly impossible. They couldn't stop
now though, and she leant back, sucking in her gut as she dug at the button.
After a few harrowing seconds, she managed to pop open her jeans, and motioned
for Brittany to help her in pulling them off. "Oh no, San! Your penis is gone!"
"Wuhh?" Santana glanced down at her lap as she finished kicking off her pants,
then looked up at her girlfriend, rolling her eyes. "Brit, we talked about
this, remember? The cold makes it shrink a little..." She knew the girl was
just teasing her, a fact that was soon confirmed by the playful grin the blonde
was now giving her. "But on a more serious note, we need to stay warm. And the
best way to do that is to share our body heat. It's like, in those survival
shows, where two people get naked in the same sleeping bag after one stupidly
falls into a river or some shit." She explained, already seeing the cogs
turning in the other girl's head. "I know it's lame, but fuck it, I'm freezing
and sex always warms me up."
Not wanting to waste any more time, Santana pushed off her boy shorts and
shimmied out of her bra, not even attempting to undo the clasp and simply
pulling it off over her head. She kept her socks on though, figuring she could
justify the sexual faux-pas just this once. Brittany had opted to do the same,
and the moment the otherwise completely naked girl laid down on the seat,
Santana crawled on top of her and pressed their bodies together. "Ohhh christ,
you're cold!" The smaller girl cried out, desperately trying to resist the urge
to pull away from her. Reaching into the footwell, she found her knee length
down jacket and pulled it over her like a blanket. "Fuck, Brittany,  do
something." She shuddered, the cold causing her words to slur slightly. She was
trembling on top of the blonde, the weight of her body doing little to keep the
other girl from trembling as well. "Fuck body heat. If we're going to die, I at
least want to be inside of you when we do."
Brittany tried to smile at this, but her lips were quivering too much.
"You're... so... roman... tic..." she stuttered, pulling her girlfriend into a
desperately desired though incredibly awkward kiss. It was almost comical in a
traumatic sort of way, how their lips practically vibrated off the others',
making the task much more difficult than it should have been. The blonde
couldn't hold back the laugh as her teeth banged against Santana's, the
clumsiness reminding her of their first few make out sessions back when they
were still getting to know each other's bodies. She knew the latina well enough
now, and silently slipped her hand between their torsos, cupping the girl's
flaccid cock in her palm. "Can you... even... get hard...?" She asked between
each shuddery breath. She wasn't teasing the girl now, and genuinely didn't
know if it was possible for her to become erect when it was this cold.
Santana hadn't actually given it any thought until that moment, not quite sure
herself if it was even physically possible. Pushing her body down and against
the blonde's hand for a few moments, she almost cried when she felt her cock
starting to respond to the pressure and friction. "That's... it..." she coaxed,
squishing her own hand between them, searching for the warmth of Brittany's
sex. Finding it, she was pleasantly surprised at the amount of wetness that the
girl had already produced. "Mmmm... baby..." She coated as much of her fingers
as possible before seeking out her entrance. "Don't stop..." she made sure to
instruct the girl, her cock almost fully hard at this point.
Brittany hadn't planned on stopping, her hand set in its rhythm of pumping up
and down her swelling flesh. It was painfully awkward though, the angle and
their position in general. Her knees were turned to the side so that her legs
could fit in the footwell, and her head was bent in such a way that she knew
she was going to be hurting for it later. If there even  was  a later, she
supposed. She was actually feeling slightly warmer now, and her shivering
seemed to have almost stopped completely. Spurred on by this new development,
she began to work her hand faster, wanting the girl inside of her as soon as
possible. She vaguely remembered learning in health class that people stopped
feeling extreme temperatures shortly before they died. "Fuck me... San..."
The smaller girl had also stopped shaking, and pulled upwards just enough that
she could help direct her cock-head towards the girl's entrance. "Oh fuck
Brit... you're so fucking warm..." she moaned as she slowly inched herself into
her lover. "Mmmmmm..." Once she was fully inside, she let her body collapse
downwards once more, her hands gripping at Brittany's shoulders before moving
to cradle the girl's head. Leaning down, she pressed a chaste kiss to her
girlfriend's lips. "I love you so much." She whispered, resting her head on her
arm, her mouth hovering less than inch from the other girl's ear. It no longer
mattered to her whether they were going to die or not; she was simply happy to
spend what might be her last few minutes on this earth so close and intimately
connected with her lover. "Whatever happens, I love you. I'll always love you."
Brittany had given up on waiting for the girl to actually start fucking her,
and was now simply holding her tightly, her arms wrapped around the girl's back
beneath her overcoat, turned blanket. "I love you too." She replied, wishing
she could be more eloquent with her words; hoping that the girl understood how
much she meant them simply from her tone of voice. She wanted to apologize
again for getting them into this situation, but knew that the other girl
wouldn't want to hear it. Instead, she ended up laughing as she thought back to
what she had promised her earlier. "See, I didn't have to actually  die  for
you to use my insides for warmth." She smirked, even though she still didn't
get the original joke behind the girl's earlier statement.
Santana snorted at this, shaking her head as she gently rocked her hips against
Brittany's. As much as she enjoyed simply being inside of her lover, now that a
few minutes had passed and they had yet to drop dead, she wanted to at least
try for one last orgasm. Call her greedy, but if they really were at death's
door, what better way to go than in the wake of the most incredible, mind
blowing pleasure known to mankind.. "Does it feel good baby?" She asked,
whimpering awkwardly at the exertion. Brittany had closed her eyes and was now
pushing her hips upwards as best she could to meet her lover's downward
thrusts. It wasn't fucking so much as it was grinding in place. Not that it
really mattered, since it still felt absolutely amazing to both of them.
"Mmmm, keep going.... oh fuck... San...." Brittany hissed as the girl's pelvic
bone pressed against her clit. She could definitely come like this, as long as
the girl didn't stop moving above her. Luckily, Santana had no intentions of
stopping, short of  actually  dropping dead. Grunting and groaning like an
amateur porn star, the latina let all other thoughts leave her head except the
desire to get both of them off. Despite the serious lack of proper stimulation,
she found herself already teetering on the edge. Brittany was close as well,
and ground her crotch as hard as she could against her lovers, her eyes flying
open just as her orgasm overtook her. "Oh fuck! Oohh, fuck! Ooh, Ooh, Carlos!"
Santana had already started to tumble, her shock at the girl's words not enough
to stop her from coming undone, emptying herself into her wide eyed and panting
girlfriend. "Nnnnnnnnhhnnn... Brit... Fuck..." She groaned, desperately trying
to gather her senses and her words. The warmth she had so urgently been seeking
finally filling her completely as she allowed her body to fall limp on top of
her girlfriend. "Did you... ugh, Brit... Did you just say my  brother's  name
during sex?" She asked, already unable to comprehend the reasoning behind the
girl's incredibly alarming mistake. No, she wasn't even going to  go  there.
She wasn't going to  let  herself go there. Not when she had just shared what
might have been her last orgasm with her best friend slash lover.
Brittany was still coming down from her own high, her body once more shaking
and trembling as she struggled to catch her breath. She was well aware of what
name she had just called out, but until she could regain her words, she was
stuck simply staring over the latina's head at the window the girl's older
brother was currently watching them through. She could tell from the boy's
expression that he was well aware of what he had just witnessed, but thankfully
he seemed more concerned with the fact that he had even found them to begin
with. "You're brother... San...  look ..." The girl raised a shaky hand,
pointing to the window behind the girl. Only, before Santana could even turn
her head, the door at their feet was abruptly yanked open. Both girls screamed
as the wind and the snow it was carrying assaulted their still mostly naked and
exposed bodies. "We're saved! We're not going to die!" Brittany practically
cried as she hugged her lover, as well as the jacket above her, closer to her
body.
"No, girl's, you're not going to die." Santana gasped at her brother's voice,
still in too much shock to try and cover herself more, or to even pull out of
the girl no one was supposed to know she was dating, let alone having sex with.
"Actually, I'm pretty sure Papi's going to  murder  you." Carlos corrected,
trying to keep the situation light despite the fact he had just witnessed
something he definitely hadn't wanted, and clearly wasn't supposed to see. He
would let their father deal with the girl when he got them home, safe and
thawed. Spreading one of the large comforters he had taken from his truck over
his sister, he helped the girl to wrap herself up in it so that she was not
only decent, but also mostly protected from the cold. Once he had made sure
that Brittany was bundled up in the second blanket, he carefully pulled his
sister out of the car, carrying her in his arms towards his waiting, and very
much heated vehicle.
It wasn't until Brittany was placed next to her on the large bench seat and the
door was closed that Santana truly began to comprehend what had just happened.
Her brother had saved them. He had  found  them, and saved them. "Oh god, he
saw  us, didn't he?" She asked the girl still shivering in her blanket next to
her. Brittany could only nod before the older Lopez climbed into the front
seat, slamming his own door shut behind him as he turned to look at them. "CJ,
I'm  so  sor-"
The boy waved her off, focusing his attention on getting both girls buckled.
"Save it. I'm just glad you guys are alright." He had been driving up and down
I-75 for the past three hours searching for them, having gotten a frantic phone
call from their dad earlier in the day about how his car was missing and his
sister was not answering her cell phone. "It's a good thing you forgot your
theatre tickets on the table at home or we'd have had no idea where to even
start looking for you." Carlos rolled his eyes at the stunned expressions on
both of the girl's faces.
Suddenly, Santana turned around and made as if she was about to strangle the
blonde. "You left the tickets at home!? We almost  died  for a show we couldn't
have even  seen !" Brittany yelped, shielding herself with her arms from the
girl's half hearted attack. Despite the blasting heat in the boy's truck, they
were both still mostly frozen and incredibly exhausted, emotionally  and
physically. Giving up on her assault halfway through, the latina simply let
herself collapse against the girl, too tired to care about any of that anymore.
"If my dad doesn't actually murder me when we get home, you so owe me." She
settled on, burying her face into the girl's neck as her brother finally pulled
back onto the highway. The blizzard had definitely died down in the last twenty
minutes, and trusting that her brother wouldn't accidentally drive them off the
road again, Santana snuggled into the equally as sleepy blonde and closed her
eyes, eventually drifting off into sleep. 
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