Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13421514.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Rose_Lalonde/Dave_Strider
  Character:
      Rose_Lalonde, Mom, Dave_Strider
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest, Oral_Sex, Alternate_Universe_-_No_Game
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-01-19 Chapters: 1/? Words: 1965
****** Holy Shit my Dick is Hard ******
by Zanthum
Summary
     Dave has a really hard dick. Rose helps.
Notes
     idfk how to write porn. I may or may not actually continue this. +
     Heavily inspired by an rp I had on MxRP (Msparp for you loyal
     deviants)
TG: rose you know how viagra says that if you have an erection lasting four or
more hours youre gonna die or whatever
TG: shits made out to be like your dick explodes
TG: a la challenger explosion style
TG: were talking full on catastrophic failure of my cock here
TT: As much as I would love to hear you ramble for literal hours on end about
how your dick is
dying, I do have better things to be doing.
TG: first of all bullshit reading books is not better
TG: second of all im not joking at all here
TG: ive been rocking the hardon for the past four hours
TT: Well, I suggest you do as the commercials say. That is, go see a doctor
about your Viagra. Perhaps this will serve as a lesson as to why you should not
take medication you do not need.
TG: as much as i would love to stun every doctor in the hospital with my
massive cock
TG: i have taken approximately fuck all viagra
TG: or any medication that might do this
TG: as far as i can tell my dick has decided entirely at random that it is
going to enter an erection marathon
TG: and its feeling like it will win
TT: Amazing.
TT: I assume you have tried resolving the issue yourself?
TG: yeah duh
TG: at first it was really cool
TG: like wow i can jerk off for like an hour no big deal
TG: but as it dragged on and on i realized i also couldnt finish
TG: which is obviously a big part of the whole ordeal
TT: Perhaps you could request another person’s assistance. Although you would
have to sneak them in without mom noticing.
TG: like who??? jade????
TG: “yeah hey jade can you just come over and suck my dick real quick thanks”
TG: or really anyone for that matter
TG: even if i explain the fact that my dick is probably going to explode in
some sort of mega
meat volcano i doubt that anyone would believe me
TT: So, as an alternative you come to me, your own sister? Frankly I’m
flattered, but incest is not high upon my list of things to try. Or men in
general for that matter. Not to mention mom is still home, I doubt she would
appreciate your squeals of pleasure if I were to touch your dick.
TG: ok wow i wasnt even thinking of you as an option
TG: and i have never squealed
TT: Your response to my comment about touching your dick seems to ignore the
fact that I stated you would gain pleasure from the experience. Is the one and
only Dave Strider admitting to a secret fantasy of engaging in sexual contact
with his sister?
TT: I must add this to your file, it is certainly a new development.
TG: woah woah woah no slow down there
TG: look you dont know the first thing about dicks if thats what you think this
is
TT: Well please, educate me about dicks.
TG: ok so like
TG: dicks dont give a shit who the fuck it is
TG: like if i close my eyes it doesnt matter if its a hobo jerking me off
TG: im still gonna have one hell of a happy dick
TG: thats why when dudes do dumb shit its called thinking with their dick
TG: it doesnt mean i like hobos it just means my dick likes being touched
TG: in the same way that if you touched my dick i would like it
TG: but not because youre my sister
TT: I am currently furiously scribbling in my journal about your repressed
incestuous feelings. If it were not for patient confidentiality scholars
everywhere would read my work and marvel at your mind. Well, if you don’t enjoy
it because I’m your sister, and as long as this is for purely medical purposes
I suppose I could help you.
TG: rose
TG: your jokes are really shitty i hope you know that
tentacleTherapist has disconnected
TG: rose?
TG: god damn it
TG: this is going to be fucking stupid
turntechGodhead has disconnected
Moments later Rose lets herself into Dave’s room, carefully closing the door
behind her. The room is in a state of typical disaster, with Dave sitting in
the middle of it all on the edge of his bed. When Rose enters he stands up, his
boner making a clear tent in his pants.
“Rose, what do you think you’re doing? I can’t even begin to describe how many
levels of fucked up this is if you aren’t joking.”
“No need, I’m fully aware of the situation. However, your safety is far more
important to me than any social taboo surrounding the performance of sexual
acts between siblings. And, if I remember correctly, you won’t enjoy this
because I am your sister, but instead because your dick is being touched.
Likewise I won’t enjoy this because I’m jerking you off but rather because
you’re going to return the favor.”
Dave can only manage to stammer in disbelief at Rose’s proposal. If his dick
were not already at maximum levels of erect, it would be now. Rose then
approaches him, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him into a seated
position on the bed, hushing his protests as she does. Once seated she drops to
her knees between his legs and slides her hands up his thighs and to his fly.
After a moment of fiddling she undoes the button and zipper and slides his
pants down to his knees. His dick pops free and is immediately snatched by his
sister.
“Oh, its bigger than I expected, I must admit. How does it feel for your sister
to be holding your cock Dave?”
She gives a small stroke to emphasize, that she was in fact holding his dick.
“Rose, if this is going to happen can you please not call our sibling-hood into
focus every six seconds? It feels alright, probably a bit better if you would
hurry up and get to jerking though.”
She gives his dick a too hard squeeze and frowns at him.
“Now now Dave, be patient. I’ll get to it when I’m good and ready.”
She thinks about letting go of his dick to prove her point. She could just take
her hands off and cross her arms, leaving him high and dry. It would certainly
teach him a lesson about being so impatient. Then again, it would be slightly
awkward to just sit there doing nothing with his dick out. Maybe she could pull
out her phone and do some reading to seem really disint-
“Ahem.”
Rose is pulled out of her clouded state of thought by Dave’s cough, realizing
that she has been simply holding her brother’s dick, staring directly at it,
for some amount of time. She blushes lightly in embarrassment and starts
stroking his entire length slowly.
“You know, if you wanted to look that badly you could have just asked.”
She looks up at him and cocks an eyebrow, still stroking him.
“So, you mean to say that had I asked to see your dick you would have obliged,
even though I’m your sister? And to think you were calling this fucked up not
long ago.”
“And to think that you said men and incest weren’t high on your list of things
to try. Yet here you are jerking me off."
“That’s different!”
She blushes and looks away from him as he laughs, still stroking his dick.
After a while she looks up at him again.
“This is to help my brother with his indefinite boner, and in the interest of
trying to speed things up, I’m going to use my mouth. Tell me when you get
close, otherwise I’ll castrate you.”
“Only if you promise to swallow.”
She rolls her eyes and ignores him. She licks the length of the underside of
his penis before taking the head in her mouth. Dave inhales deeply as she does
but otherwise maintains his cool. As her head starts to bob along his cock he
removes her headband and runs his hands through her hair, gently sighing. He
can’t help but think about how amazing her mouth feels around him, almost like
she was made for him. He grips her hair and she takes the cue to increase her
speed, all while dancing her tongue around his twitching cock. A few moments
later Dave’s dick starts to spurt copious amounts of jizz directly into his
sister’s mouth just as their mother opens the door. Rose pulls off Dave’s dick,
coughing and dribbling his jizz down her chin. Their mother looks on in horror
at the scene.
“I’m gay, so, this totally doesn’t even count.”
Dave says it without a moments hesitation while his sister recovers from the
unexpected entrance of jizz to her mouth. She too quickly speaks up once
clearing her mouth of the offending substance.
“Me too.”
Her response is just as effective, which is to say: not effective at all. Their
mother backs out of the room and closes the door, the same horror stricken look
still present on her face. Rose then shoots a glare directly at Dave.
“I thought I told you to warn me.”
“I thought I said only if you promised to swallow?”
Rose groans and stands up.
“Now that mom has seen me eating your dick do you think she’s going to disown
us?”
Dave simply shrugs in response before standing up and fixing his pants and
underwear, covering his now flaccid dick.
“Just tell her why my dick had to be ate, I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“Dave, your pretenses were about as flimsy as cooked noodle, if cooked noodles
were somehow capable of being so flimsy that science has yet to comprehend how
something could be so flimsy. If you think you convinced me with your act you
are sorely mistaken, and I doubt mom would be so willing to play along.”
“Wait, you mean you knew all along?”
“Dave, you must think I was born yesterday.”
And with a roll of her eyes she leaves his room, leaving Dave to contemplate
the consequences of the event alone.
Epilogue-Part One
TT: You came far sooner than I was hoping.
TG: oh so were talking about this now?
TT: Of course, I still have yet to have my turn.
TG: yeah well, mom hasnt exactly let us both out of her sight at the same time
for like a month
TT: Yes, I’m well aware of this atrocity. Her face seems to have stuck in that
expression she made also. That being said, I’m willing to leave my door
unlocked tonight, open for any stranger to enter while the home is asleep.
TG: with the stranger being me i assume
TT: Yes, I was trying to avoid spelling it out but here is my explicit plan in
every detail. I will leave my door unlocked, you will sneak across the house,
enter my room, and fuck me with my face down so mom doesn’t hear.
TG: im not sure if that is exactly an equal repayment for services rendered
TT: Don’t act as if you won’t love every second of it. Beside, you came in my
mouth without warning me and I haven’t castrated you, so if anything this is a
reward. But only because I am currently horny as hell, not because you deserve
any reward.
TG: so
TG: is this going to be a thing???
TT: Maybe. We’ll see if your performance is as much of a let down as last time.
Just bring condoms, I would hate to be the mother of our incestuous creations.
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