Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1333879. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Supernatural Relationship: Dean_Winchester/John_Winchester Character: Dean_Winchester, John_Winchester, Sam_Winchester Additional Tags: Child_Abuse, Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism, Sexual_Abuse, Emotional/ Psychological_Abuse Series: Part 1 of I'm_no_hero Stats: Published: 2014-03-18 Chapters: 17/17 Words: 15202 ****** Hollow Son ****** by psychoticmidds Summary What really happens when Dean fails to look after Sam, or to protect him. Notes I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters of the show. I will not apologize for the way I write John. Have you ever noticed that Dean never really explains what happens when Sam runs off on him during his watch, or when he fails to protect Sam? Well, here is my very morbid take on what happens. Dean's point of view. ***** Chapter 1 ***** Chapter Notes Kelly Clarkson, "Because of You" [ photo The Hollow Son_zpspg5ux8fb.png] I will not make The same mistakes that you did I will not let myself Cause my heart so much misery I will not break The way you did, you fell so hard I've learned the hard way To never let it get that far Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid I lose my way And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry Because I know that's weakness in your eyes I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you I am afraid I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known Better than to lean on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain And now I cry in the middle of the night For the same damn thing Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life Because it's empty Because of you I am afraid Because of you Because of you ***** Chapter 2 ***** Pulling the covers over the sleeping twelve-year-old Sam, Sixteen-year-old Dean Winchester, looked around at the cheap, crappy motel Dad had left them at, while he tracked down whatever, or whoever, it was, that was causing the unusual deaths in Cincinnati, Ohio. This room wasn't any different than the many others that Sam and Dean had stayed in; the old wallpaper was stained yellow from other tenants that had smoked while they had rented the room. Everything about this place was lame and bland, but at least the two beds were big enough for the three of them to sleep in, that was, of course, if Dad wanted to get some sleep before they took off to the next destination. Usually, Dad would leave Sam and Dean a town over from where he would be working, and stay in the town where he was hunting until the job was finished. Dad had told Dean a long time ago that he had done that to assure their safety. While Dad was gone, it was Dean's duty to watch over his little brother, keep him safe until Dad came back.  Dean walked over to the table and sat himself down in a chair, pulling a magazine from the pile to him and began to flick through the pages with little interest, when Dean didn't find anything that caught his interest he slid the newspaper back towards the pile and looked at the TV and to Sam. ' If I turn the TV on, it'll wake Sammy up, and I'll never get him back to sleep.' Letting out a bored sigh, Dean lightly tapped his fingers against the table. Sleep was out of the question, he wasn't tired, and even if he was, he couldn't sleep, he was too worried something would happen to Sam; if something did, Dad would never forgive him for it. =============================================================================== After the long drive, Dean was exhausted, Sammy was already sleeping and he didn't think that it would be a problem if he got some sleep too. Crawling into the bed on the opposite side of Sam's, Dean laid himself down and pulled the blankets over himself, closing his eyes and soon fell asleep. " Dean! " Sam's cry woke him from his sleep and as he reached under the pillow for the gun Dad had left him, Dad came barging through the door shooting the werewolf that had Sammy. Sam fell from the wolf's grip as the creature turned human and collapsed lifelessly to the floor. " What the hell Dean? You're supposed to be watching Sam! " Dad screamed angrily, pulling Sam to his chest, holding him close as he glared darkly at his older son. " I...I'm sorry, Dad. I..I was tired...I...I...didn't think... " Dean began to explain, but Dad quickly cut him off.  " That's right, you weren't thinking, and because of that Sam almost got hurt. You're lucky I got here in time. " =============================================================================== The sound of people arguing loudly outside snapped Dean from the memory, the noise started to bother Sammy and he groaned in his sleep, tossing and turning in the bed restlessly.  "Shit," Dean swore, pushing himself off the chair and went to the door quickly, unlocking each lock as quietly as he could and slid out the door, closing it behind him and following the noise around the corner, finding two men standing there in the alleyway. "Hey assholes, you mind keepin' it down? My little brother is trying to sleep."  "Oooh, look a big brother, trying to sound like a badass, watching over his baby brother," One of the men mocked, pissing Dean off, clenching his hand into a fist, he locked his jaw. "Someone should teach you to mind your own business boy," The other man spat throwing a punch at Dean who ducked down, dodging the hit and threw his elbow back, hitting the man in the middle of his back taking him down to the ground. Leaving the other male still standing on his feet, staring Dean down his eyes wide with unbelief. Slowly the other raised his hands, deciding that it was probably a better idea not to mess with the teen, and backed away slowly until he was far away enough that he took off, checking over his shoulder to make sure Dean wasn't chasing after him.  Shaking his head, Dean stepped over the guy on the ground and headed back around the corner heading back to the room. Dean came to a stop, fear paralyzing him seeing the door of the room opened slightly. Dean checked the parking lot as he walked over to the room, not seeing the Impala, Dean's gut sank and he ran the rest of the to the apartment slamming the door the rest of the way open.  "Say goodbye, big brother."  "No!" Dean cried out lunging at the man who held onto Sam, his eyes turned black and just before Dean reached them, they were gone. "Sammy!" Dean slammed his fist in the ground, his mind reeling with fear, knowing he had no choice but to call Dad and tell him what happened. Picking himself off the ground, Dean grabbed the cell phone, regretting the call he was about to make, knowing Dad was going to kill him. The phone rang in Dean's ear as he paced in the room, trying to brace himself for what he knew was going to happen when Dad got there. ***** Chapter 3 ***** Dad moved them to another motel, and one Sam was back asleep, Dad suddenly slammed Dean chest first against the wall, grabbing him by the scalp and pulled his head back, tugging painfully. " Ow..." Dean cried out, "Dad...please...stop...you're hurting me!" "After I'm done with you, you'll never let this happen to your brother again." Dad hissed, removing his belt, keeping Dean pressed against the wall with his strength compared to the ten-year-old and used his belt to smack Dean on the back with the leather, and he screamed in pain. =============================================================================== "Dean, what did I tell you about..." Dad's voice cut into the memory, bringing Dean back to the present and he quickly interrupted Dad before he could say another word.  "A demon kidnaped Sam!"  "Damn it, Dean, how could you let this happen? You were supposed to be watching him!" Dad was already screaming at him from the other side of the line, Dean could hear the door of the Impala close and the engine start-up. "I was watching him...I..." "I don't want to hear it, Dean!" When dad yelled, Dean went silent. "I'll be there soon, we will talk about this when I get there." The call ended and Dean lowered the phone from his ear, putting it down, his body tensing and his mouth went dry. Dad wasn't going to listen to anything that Dean had to say, he would be the only one talking, or well, yelling. Instead of running away from what was coming, Dean sat down on the bed, hanging his head until he could hear the Impala outside. Dean jumped to his feet, going to the door and unlocked it for Dad, who threw the door open, his eyes scanning the room before looking at his oldest son standing there, looking down at the carpet in shame and fear.  "I was hoping you had made it up; telling myself that you weren't stupid enough to allow your brother to be taken by a demon!" Dad shouted, slamming the door closed and locked it. "I couldn't stop it...." Dean began to explain, avoiding eye contact, Dad's hand struck him across the cheek, Dean laid his hand where it stung, looking up at Dad, tears welling in his own green orbs. "How did it even happen, Dean?" For a minute, Dean hesitated answering the question, not really wanting too, knowing that it would get him in trouble, but not answering, would also get him in trouble. Either way, Dean was screwed.  "Ihad just got Sammy to sleep, and some assholes were arguing around the corner, I was only gone a minute to tell them to keep it down. When I got back, the demon already had Sammy and took off." Dean blurted out, telling dad everything. "So, not only did you leave your brother alone, you also left the door unlocked?" Dad looked like he was going to explode at any minute and all Dean could do was hang his head again in shame. "You expect me to trust you to come hunting with me when I can't even trust you to watch your brother?" Sometimes Dad's words hit harder than his fists. "Assume the position!" Dad ordered and Dean looked at him with wide eyes.  "Shouldn't we start searching for Sammy?" Dean asked, hoping that he could get himself out of being punished, but Dad wasn't going to have it. Dad grabbed Dean by the front of his shirt and pulled him in, their faces just a few inches apart. "Now you worry about your brother? You should have worried before you left Sam alone ." Dad threw Dean against a wall, " Now, get up and take off your shirt, or I will do it for you." Dean swallowed hard and picked himself off the ground, shaking with fear as he took off his shirt, knowing what would happen if he disobeyed. Tossing aside his shirt, Dean turned around and but his hands against the wall, squeezing his eyes closed waiting for the blow from Dad's belt. This happened more than Dean liked to admit, anytime he screwed up or failed in Dad's eyes, this is what happened to him. The snap of Dad's belt could be heard from behind him, the leather snapping against his back and he yelped out in pain. It didn't matter how often it happened, it always hurt, and Dean knew deep down he deserved it for letting Dad down and not protecting Sammy like he was supposed too. ***** Chapter 4 ***** Chapter Notes The demons I am writing are original characters, none are from the show. The belt continued to strike at Dean's back, even after he had lost the strength in his legs and fell to his knees on the ground and his tears had become uncontrollable. Finally, Dad stopped and put his belt back into the loops of his pants, "Get your shirt back on and move your ass, I don't want to waste any more time."  "Ye..yes, sir" Dean stammered reaching over for his shirt on the ground, keeping his emotions on lockdown, wrenching his eyes shut as the fabric contacted the open wounds on his back. Dad grabbed Dean by the arm, squeezing harshly pulling Dean out of the motel room and shoved him in the back seat of the Impala. "Buckle up." "How are we going to figure out where they took Sammy, Dad?" Dean asked buckling up like he was told, his voice low and still shaking. "You have done enough Dean. I am taking you to Bobby's." Dad slammed the door of the Impala starting up her engine taking off out of the parking lot. "Dad, let me help!" Dean pleaded with his Dad, who scoffed at him in return. "Why? So you can screw it up like you do everything?" Sinking back into the seat of the Impala, Dean kept his mouth shut, turning his head to look out the window. "I would have been better off if they took you, instead of Sam. Defiantly thankful." "You don't mean that..." Dean said under his breath, the Impala screeched to a stop and he bashed his head against the seat of the Impala. "Start working on a story for Bobby when he asks what happened to you," Dad ordered sternly, eyeing Dean in the rear-view mirror as he sat up. "Yes, sir," Dean said, his voice shaking, willing the tears to keep back. "Wait in the car," Dad said as he popped open the driver's seat of the Impala, slamming the door after him walking towards Bobby's front door going through the junkyard that was his front yard. Dean slouched in his seat watching Dad from inside the car, Bobby opened the door and they started talking, at first everything seemed like it was going fine, but then, Dad started screaming after a while he stormed away from the man, coming back to the Impala getting into the vehicle and slammed the door taking off out of the parking lot with the tires screaming. "Don't have the god damn time to run around looking for someone to watch you," Dad grumbled from the front seat, which to Dean translated as he was going with Dad, as much as the older Winchester would have rather ditched him with a hunting buddy of his while he hunts down demons, torturing them until he got answers about Sammy. Dean had to tag along and Dad was completely pissed off about it. Going back to where they started, checking them into a different motel, Dean unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the Impala following after Dad into the room. Dad turned on him the instant Dean closed the door and slammed his back against the door, glaring into his eyes. "You are to stay in this room while I look for your brother, do you understand?" "Yes, sir," being yanked from the door Dean stumbled over his feet as he was swung from the door, catching himself before he fell on his face. Dad was already out the door, locking it behind him, he had done that on purpose, now if Dean did leave the room and the door closed accidentally he would be locked out until Dad got back. Dean didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up hearing the door slam against the wall. Dad was back and obviously he had gotten nowhere, "You little son of a bitch, this is all your fault." He was drunk, Dean could smell it emitting off of him. Instinctively, when dad lunged at him, Dean rolled out of the bed ducking out-of-the-way of Dad's grasp, his eyes darting to the door of the motel room. Dean had never run away from Dad before, no matter what happened, and he did it mostly for Sammy. Sam wasn't there though, there was no reason for Dad to hold back, or to keep Dean from trying to run. Pushing off the ground he took off for the door, barely touching the knob when he was grabbed by the back of his collar pulled back and thrown against the wall. "Don't you run from me, boy." John hissed, "I don't know what has gotten into you, but I will make sure it stops now." Fingers wrapped around Dean's throat holding him against the wall, repeatedly pounding his fist into him. Nearly tripping over his feet when Dad pulled him from the wall, forcing him down on his hands and knees, starting to pull off Dean's pants. "Dad, no!" Pleading Dean tried to push Dad off of him, Dad was much stronger, even if he was drunk, and with Dean weak from the beating it was easy to keep him pinned underneath him. Dad managed to get Dean and himself undressed and he moved into place, "No!" Dad's thick hard cock rammed into Dean's tight entrance and he yelled out in pain. A hand wrapped around Dean's neck and closed over his mouth, muffling his cries, forcing him to turn over. "Look at me Dean!" Dad's order was harsh, Dean was too afraid to defy Dad anymore and opened his tear filled eyes. Muffled whimpers and yells of pain came from under Dad's hand from Dean as the thrusts became deeper and harsher, moans escaping Dad's lips until he released inside of Dean pulling out of him, Dean laid there on the floor panting harshly. Dad got to his feet, pulling back on his pants, when he was done he stood over Dean and stomped his foot into him. "Every day Sam is missing, it's only going to get worse, Dean." Dad spat leaving him on the ground, taking off from the motel room, locking Dean inside as he slipped into unconsciousness. =============================================================================== Dean yelped feeling a foot kick him in the side harshly, "Wake up Dean, we got work to do." Rubbing at his side, Dean pushed himself to his feet, his legs shaking under him and his stomach flipped, making him feel sick.  " Wh..what are we doing? " Dean asked hesitantly, almost afraid to ask, and eyed the duffle bag sitting on the table in the room.  " I'm going to summon one of those sons of bitches here and find out where Sam is. " Dad remarked, digging out what he would need to the summon a demon to them, "Why don't you make yourself actually useful for once and lay down the devil's trap. Dean flinched at the harsh words and grabbed the red paint, starting to lay out the trap while Dad mixed the herbs into the bowl, waiting for Dean to cover the trap with the carpet before cutting his hand and speaking the words, " Et ad congregandum / Eos coram me. " Dad dropped a matchstick on the side of the bowl and a woman appeared, standing directly on the carpet hiding the devil's trap.  " Well, well, if it isn't John Winchester. .. " "Cut the formalities bitch, where's Sam?" Dad sneered, pushing Dean out of the way and step in front of him. Looking around Dad's side, Dean saw the demon cross her arms in front of her chest in a coy manner.  " Who's Sam? " She asked, obviously playing stupid.  " I don't have time to play your damn games, tell me where my son is," Dad snapped, pulling a silver knife out from where it had been soaking in the Holy water. The woman chuckled darkly and stopped suddenly when she realized that she was stuck on the carpet.  " You might as well give up now, John. You'll never see Sammy again. " "The hell I won't. Give me back my son, or the demon that killed my wife won't be the only demon that I hunt down," Dad threatened, stepping forward wielding the knife ready to cut into the demon. " You'll get your son back once you have returned the amulet you stole, and I would hurry John before Dean is taken too. Everyone knows how absent you are, it won't be hard. " Dean swallowed hard, looking at Dad for a reaction, but he didn't show one, and Dean knew it was because that Dad could care less if the demons took him. " We'll see about that, bitch, " Dad scowled and picked up a book he had set on the table and opened it to where he had marked a page. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica." The demon choked out the black smoke of its existence until it voided the women and disappeared completely. ***** Chapter 5 ***** "Great, now I have to drag you everywhere I go," Dad grumbled under his breath, picking the girls unconscious body from the ground, motioning for Dean to follow as he carried her outside, placing her behind a dumpster.  " Why? " Dean finally asked once he had gained the courage to, " It's not like you care if the demons take me, that's what you wanted right? " Dad turned on Dean smacking him harshly across the face, making Dean stumble back a few steps. " Watch your tone with me, boy," Dad threatened darkly, grabbing Dean by the arm roughly, yanking him back to the room, packing everything up and put it in the trunk of the Impala," Get in the car, Dean. " " Yes, sir," Dean said quietly and opened the back door and slid in, shutting the door after him. Dean had just buckled up when Dad got in the driver's seat, buckled up and turned the engine over, pulling out of the parking lot of the motel and drove off. " Where are we going, Dad? " Dean asked after a few minutes of silence.  " None of your business, " Dad snapped from the front seat and Dean flinched as if Dad had struck him and fell silent in the back seat, turning his head to look out the window hoping Sam was alright. " None of this would be happening if you just did as you were told. " " I'm sorry... " Dean said softly, overwhelmed by the guilt of what happened, "You should have seen if you could have made a deal. See if the demons would have taken me for Sam. You wouldn't have had to worry about it anymore. "  Dad hit the breaks and Dean slammed into the back of the seat, " I don't want to hear another word from you, boy. " Dean rubbed his head, doing as he was told and kept his mouth shut the rest of the way. Dad drove them to a storage shed and killed the engine and got out of the Impala, going to one of the sheds Dad used a key to unlock the door before rolling open the door and walking inside. Dean unbuckled himself and opened the door, getting out and walked to the door of the storage shed looking inside. Suddenly Dean felt a hand grab his arm, twisting it behind his back and the sharp edge of a knife pricked at his neck.  " Let go of me, " Dean grunted and squirmed hissing when the blade nicked his skin, drawing some blood.  " That's it, John, bring it out nice and easy and your boys don't get hurt" Moving his head carefully, Dean was relieved to see Sammy at his side, he didn't look like he was harmed, but he did look scared. Dad came out holding a necklace in his hand, a strange amulet hanging from it. " Here..take it," Dad said and tossed it at the demon holding Sam, making him let go so he had to catch it and Sam was smart enough to run over to Dad, hiding behind him. The demon released Dean, shoving him towards Dad before the two of them took off. " Are you alright, Sam? " Dad asked, turning around and lowered down to a knee taking Sam by the arms, looking him over.  " I'm fine, " Sam said with a nod and broke away from him running over to Dean throwing his arms around his older brother, and it took all the strength Dean had not to cry out in pain. Pulling himself together, Dean put an arm around his little brother, squeezing him tightly. "Hey Sammy," Dean choked, forcing a smile to his lips and willing back the tears, even if they were because he was happy Sam was home safe. Looking at Dad, the smile faded from his lips, noticing the dark look on his face at Dean.  "Come on boys, let's get out of here." Letting Sam go, Dean followed him to the Impala, getting in after Sam, closed the door and buckled up, allowing Sam to lean on him and fall asleep on the drive to the next motel room. " Can you handle watching your brother for a few minutes while I go to the store, Dean? " The question was harsh, but at least Dad was going to give him a chance, whether or not he actually wanted to.  " Yes, sir, I swear, I won't fail again! " Dean exclaimed, opening the door and pulled his sleeping brother into his arms waiting for Dad to go in and pay for a room and bring back the key. Dad unlocked the door, waiting for Dean to lay Sam down before grabbing him harshly by the chin, forcing his older son to look him in the eyes.  " This is your last chance, Dean. " Dad threatened through gritted teeth and released him, " I'll get you some food, but you better make sure it lasts a few weeks. I still have to finish the case I was working when you called. " Dad didn't wait for Dean to respond before he headed out the door, and not long after Dean heard the engine of the Impala turn over and Dad took off. ***** Chapter 6 ***** Sam was still asleep when Dad returned, and after Dean helped him unload the groceries, Dad took off again, leaving Sam and Dean behind. Dean laid down on the bed carefully, the wounds on his back, pricking at him, willing the pain to go away, Dean placed his hands behind his head staring at the ceiling, forcing himself to stay awake the rest of the night. =============================================================================== "Dean?" Sammy's voice came from the other bed, Dean turned his head looking at his little brother as he rubbed at his eyes, " Where's Dad? " He asked with a yawn. " Dad went to finish what he started," Dean explained as he sat up on the bed, and stood to his feet going to the kitchenette looking for something to give Sam for breakfast.  " Dad left us after alone..again...after what just happened? " Sam asked, obviously upset by the news, Dean let out a sigh as he brought down the box of Lucky Charms Dad bought them.  " No one else is going to do it," Dean said calmly, finding it so hard sometimes to stick up for their Dad when the man was so cruel towards him. Sam didn't deserve to see their Dad in a bad light though, he would never harm Sam.  "That's bullshit, there are other hunters that can finish the case for him! " Dean plopped down a bowl harshly on the table, startling Sam.  " None are as good as Dad" Dean shot back, shaking lightly, knowing he was the only one of the two of them that wasn't upset that Dad took off.  "What about Bobby?" Sam argued. "They are arguing again, I don't think Dad's going to be asking Bobby any favors anytime soon," Dean explained, trying to reign in his emotions again as he poured the cereal in the bowl then added the milk. "Don't you trust me to take care of you?" Dean finally blurted out, unable to keep it held back anymore. "O..of course I trust you, Dean!" Sam stammered taken off guard by his older brother's question, "It shouldn't be your job to take care of me though, that's Dad's job. You should be able to be like everyone else." Dean rolled his eyes, pulling a spoon and carried the bowl to Sam, handing it over to him. "How many times do I have to tell you, Sammy? We're not like everyone else." Sam took the bowl from Dean and started to eat, then stopped when he noticed Dean putting up the box of cereal and milk without getting him anything.  "Aren't you going to eat?" Dean shook his head as he started pulling out what he needed to make Sam a lunch for school. "M' not hungry, Sam, I'll eat later." Dean felt bad lying to his little brother, but he didn't want to hear Sammy bitch at him, "Just..hurry up and eat...don't want to be late for school." He said, hoping that his academic little brother would get distracted off the topic by bringing up that they were going to be going to school, and like always, it had worked. Sam brightened up, dropping the conversation about Dad and even prying into Dean's strange eating habits. Dean fixed Sam up a bag lunch, and to keep his little brother quiet, he made it look like he had also packed himself a bag, even though it was actually empty. Dad hadn't gotten them enough food, he never did, Sam needed it more than Dean, so like always, his little brother came first. Sam finished his cereal and the two of them got ready for school, Dean was especially cautious of changing in front of Sam, not allowing his little brother to get a look at his back. "Sammy, if you want to talk about what happened, you know you can talk to me," Dean spoke after a few minutes of silence and the two of them were ready to head out the door.  Sammy pierced his lips together, "They didn't do anything to me..but they said some things about Dad..but they were just lies." "What did they say?" Dean asked curiously and a little worried.  "The demon said he was watching us for a long time, he said Dad hurt you..." Sam blurted out, letting it out in a rush of words, Dean's eyes widened, mouth falling open slightly. "Does he?" Dean pulled himself together quickly, avoiding eye contact with Sam as he shook his head. "O..of course not Sammy." Another lie, this one because Dean was too humiliated. "Like you said, the demon lied to you. Probably trying to get you to turn against Dad." The look on Sam's changed to a look of relief. "That's what I thought, I just wanted to make sure." Reaching over Dean ruffled his hair smiling at Sam. "Come on, let's get to school," Dean suggested, opening the door, allowing Sam to leave first, before following after his little brother, locking up the motel room after them. ***** Chapter 7 ***** "You come find me if someone tries messing with you, Sammy," Dean told his little brother after they had registered and got their class schedules and it was time for them to separate.  " I can take care of myself, Dean," Sam shot back, which is what Dean wanted to hear all along. Walking away from his little brother, Dean kept looking over his shoulder to make sure Sam made it to his first class safely before he began to look for his own class. Dean never really understood why dad always enrolled them in school, all he had to say was that they were home schooled and the government would stay out of their business. ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ At lunch time, Dean headed for the cafeteria when he noticed a crowd in the hall and heard the chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Curiously, Dean pushed his way through the crowd, he saw Sam in the middle, head to head with another boy who took a swing, Dean lunged in between them, catching the fist in his hand and bent the other guys hand backwards making him cry out in pain and lower down to his knees.  "Stay. Away. From. My. Brother," Dean said darkly, applying more pressure with each word, threatening to break the other guy's hand, then let him go and turned to Sam. " Come on Sammy, let's get out of here. " Putting a hand on his little brother's shoulder, Dean led him away from the crowd, taking him outside.  "What did you do that for Dean?" Sam asked, turning on his older brother, upset that he had stepped into the fight, "I told you, I can handle myself!" "So why didn't you? It didn't even look like you were going to defend yourself! " Dean shot back just as upset, the last thing he needed was Dad coming home and finding Sam all bruised up from a school bully. "Maybe I wasn't going too, Dean! I didn't want to! I thought if I didn't fight back and just let that ass get what he wanted he would leave me alone and I wouldn't be known as a freak. Now everyone's going to think I am so weak I have to have my older brother fight my battles for me!" Sometimes, Dean didn't understand his little brothers thinking, and this was a perfect example of one of those times.  "Stop trying to be normal Sam! It's not going to work, and who cares what these people think? We are going to be gone in a few weeks and they won't even remember who the hell you are!" Dean was trying to make Sam feel better, but he realized too late, that maybe what he said, didn't help Sam at all. Sammy always cared what people thought about them, always hoped that maybe they wouldn't move away and actually stay in a school for more than a few weeks before having to leave, and start all over again at a new school. Dean was the only one that didn't care about all of that, he couldn't wait until they were no longer forced to go to school because he knew that they were going to be in the family business and none of the stuff they learned at school would matter.  Sam stormed away, slamming his shoulder into Dean as he passed and headed back into the school to finish off what was left of the day. ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ Two weeks later, Dad had still not showed up, or even called to let Dean know what was going on, and he was beginning to worry, but he couldn't let Sam know.  "I'm hungry Dean," Sam whined, bringing his attention back to his little brother, and Dean smiled at him. "I bet, come on. I will see what we have." Dean led Sam to the table, setting him down on the chair and went to the fridge opening the door, looking inside. There wasn't much in there, at least there was some left over pizza, Dean grabbed the box, pulling it out looking at Sam over his shoulder. "Want it heated up?" Sam shook his head and Dean sat the box, opened in front of his little brother, letting him finish off whatever was left in the box. There weren't many choices on what to drink either, so Dean filled a cup with the last of the milk and set it in front of Sam. "Aren't you going to eat something?" Sam asked, and Dean shook his head, ignoring his stomach that roared at him protest for some food. From time to time, he would snack on little things, not wanting to eat too much, and take food from his little brother.  "I'm fine Sammy, just worry about yourself. Okay?" Sam nodded and continued to eat the piece of pizza in his hand, Dean keeping close to him without hovering too much that it would annoy his little brother. When Sam was finished he said he was tired and laid down on the bed in the room, falling asleep quickly. Some time after Sam had fallen asleep, and Dean had turned the TV on low enough it wouldn't wake up his little brother, the door suddenly slammed open and Dean jumped up, grabbing for a knife before he saw it was Dad. " Sh, Sammy's sleeping!" He hushed dad, getting up and setting the knife down, Dean grabbed a hold of Dad and led him to the bed, not needing the smell of alcohol to know that Dad was drunk. Dad shoved Dean away from him with a snarl, "Get off me." Dad slurred, going over to Sam, looking down at him asleep on the bed and ran a hand through his hair. Dean watched him closely, but Dad was being gentle with Sammy, Dean couldn't remember the last time Dad was that gentle with him. Dad turned away from the bed going to the fridge opening the door, slamming it closed almost immediately. "Why isn't there any fucking food?" Dad screamed and Dean tried to hush him again, noticing Sammy start to stir on the bed. "I was just going to tell you..we ate it all..there wasn't much there...." Dean tried to explain, Dad turned on him, fury flickering in his eyes.  "Are you saying I don't take care of you and your brother?!" He demanded, his voice still raised, obviously not caring about Sammy or that he was sleeping. Dean shook his head instantly. "No, sir. I wasn't saying that...I was just saying..." "Maybe you shouldn't eat so much Dean." The words cut him off and he met dad's eyes, speechless not sure how to tell him that he basically starved himself just to make sure Sam had three meals every day. Dad shoved passed Dean collapsing in the empty bed falling asleep, it wasn't right sharing a bed with his little brother, and he was too old to sleep with his Dad, so Dean had no other choice but to sit back down in the chair, watching over his little brother, and his Dad as they slept. ***** Chapter 8 *****       Sam woke up, and before Dean could stop him, a gasp left his little lips and he was jumping from his bed and to Dad's, "Dad!" "Christ, Sam..." Dad groaned out, still half asleep. "Did you find the monster and kill it?"  "Of course I did, Sammy" Dad said with a smile, looking away from him, and to Dean was still sitting in the chair, then back to Sam. "How did things go here?" "Some jerk at school tried picking a fight with me, but Dean stepped in. I didn't want him too though, I could take care of it."  'Why the hell did he have to bring that up?' Dean wondered to himself, feeling his body tense as Dad locked eyes with him and saw him clench his jaw before looking at Sam. "I'm sure you could have handled it by yourself Sam, but I told Dean to make sure nothing happened to you." 'Wait, is Dad actually sticking up for me?' Dean was shocked and continued to sit there quietly. Listening to the two of them talked, at least when Sam was awake, Dad would never take a swing at him.  "Come on, let's get up, you two ate everything in the fridge," Dad said as he got up and Sam followed him off the bed, "Do you want to go out and eat, or pick up something at the store?" Sam stopped for a minute and Dean leaned forward with exhaustion, waiting for him to make a decision.  "Let's go out," Sam finally said, Dad nodded his head and grabbed the keys to the Impala. "Alright, let's go," Dad said and Dean picked himself off the chair, stumbling over his feet, which Sam had noticed, but Dad hadn't. "Are you okay, Dean?" Sam asked worriedly, and Dean weakly nodded his head. " I'm fine," He assured Sammy, following his little brother and from behind him Dad squeezed his shoulder harshly. "Don't start screwing up now that I'm back," Dad warned whispering in Dean's ear so that Sam couldn't hear him. Dean tensed under Dad's touch, continuing to walk like nothing was the matter so he wouldn't draw Sam's attention to them. "Yes, sir," Dean said out of the corner of his mouth and followed Sam into the back seat of the Impala and buckled himself in. ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ " Wake up Dean, " Sam nudged him with an elbow, Dean woke with a start, not remembering falling asleep. The Impala was parked in a lot outside of a diner, and from the front seat, Dean could see the impatience written on Dad's face.  " Sorry, " Dean muttered an apology, unbuckling himself and popped open the door, sliding out and waited for Sam to get out before he closed the door. Dad met up with them, and together the Winchester's walked into the diner, taking a booth and they each grabbed a menu, looking it over. Dean's stomach flipped again, making him feel nauseous from hunger, he didn't want to overdo it and really make himself sick.  " What are you getting, Dean? " Sam asked his older brother as he looked over his own menu unsure. "I don't know yet, Sam. I'm..." Before Dean could say he wasn't that hungry, Sam interrupted him, cutting him off. "Don't say you're not hungry, you have barely eaten anything in two weeks." Dean shot his little brother a look and glanced over at Dad wondering how was going to react, but it didn't even seem like he was even listening to them. Which, didn't surprise Dean at all. " I wasn't going to say I wasn't hungry Sam, " Dean remarked, looking back at his menu and dropped the subject, and settled on the smallest thing he could find on the menu; a single pancake. Sam and Dad ordered more food than Dean did, and even when the food was brought to them, while the other two dug in, Dean started picking at his pancake, eating small bites at a time. The flipping of his stomach, making it hard to take a bite, let alone keep it down. Slowly, but surely, Dean forced himself to eat every single bite of the pancake, finishing long after Sam and Dad had finished their food, which Dad seemed unhappy about but bit his tongue around Sam.   ***** Chapter 9 *****   " We need to talk, boys, " Dad began once they were back in the Impala, " The signs of the demon that killed your mother have popped back up. Instead of dragging you around and leaving you two alone for a month while I try to pin it down, I have spoken to Pastor Jim, and he has agreed to let you stay with him. " "Aw," Sam whined, "Can't we stay with Bobby instead?" "Not this time Sam, Bobby and I had a bit of a disagreement the last time we talked," Dad said shooting Dean a look, putting the blame on him without actually saying anything. "I expect you both to be on your best behavior and do as he tells you," Dad was talking directly to Dean, while making sure it sounded like he was addressing both of his son's.  "Yes, sir," Sam and Dean said at the same time, both of them sliding out of the booth and left the diner and got into the Impala.Sammy had fallen asleep on the trip, his head resting against Dean's arm. When they arrived at Pastor Jim's he had to carry his little brother inside and lay him on a bed in Pastor Jim's guest room. Closing the door, silently Dean turned around to be slammed against the wall by Dad.  "Don't slack off, I don't care if Pastor Jim is here or not, it's your job to take care of your brother, not his," Dad said under his breath, letting Dean go before Pastor Jim came around the corner, changing Dad's tone with him completely. "I'll be back as soon as I can," Dad suddenly pulled Dean into the most awkward hug, and if he didn't want to raise any suspicion, Dean had to force himself to return Dad's hug, but didn't milk it for too long, even if it was the only affection he had gotten from Dad in a long time.  "Dean?" Hearing Pastor Jim say his name, Dean looked over at him, hearing Dad leave the house. "You should go to bed and get some rest." "Yeah, okay.." Muttering, Dean crossed the hall opening the door of the other guest room, not exactly comfortable letting Sam sleep alone, they always shared a room, unless they came to Pastor Jim's, or Bobby's. Dad believed no demon would mess with a priest who was also a hunter, it wasn't Dean's place to question what Dad did or said, he was to do as he was told. He left the door open slightly if Sam woke up and needed him for anything. After getting dressed for bed, Dean slipped under the covers falling asleep after a while. ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂   Waking up, Dean's eyes focused on the bottom of a brown cross, hanging over the bed on the wall. Pastor, Jim had crucifix's placed in various places all over the house, as if they were good luck charms, Dean never understood it and didn't care enough to ask. Throwing the blankets off him, Dean rolled out of the bed, taking his eyes off the cross, as he got out of his pajamas and put on his clothes. Crossing the hall, Dean opened the door seeing Sammy sleeping in the bed and smiled to himself. Entering the room, Dean went to the bed, placing his hand on his little brother's shoulder and began to shake him softly. "Sammy, wake up!" The boy stirred, but continued to sleep. "Come on Sammy, wake up!" His brown eyes opened slowly, groaning. "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." Sam made a face at him, sitting up on the bed with a yawn as he stretched. "That's not funny Dean. M' not a princess." Dean chuckled and shook his head. "Get dressed." Was all that Dean said before turning from the bed, leaving the room, going to the kitchen finding Pastor Jim making breakfast. "Morning." He greeted the priest, awkwardly. "Good morning Dean, after breakfast, we should begin your studies." Dean nodded, agreeing with what he said. When Dad brought them to Pastor Jim, he would home school them, not in only education, but hunting, and even religion, which he didn't much care for. "Is your brother awake?" Dean nodded his head, ending the conversation between them. Sam joined them awhile later, when he did Pastor Jim served them breakfast, Dean picked up his fork, still unsure of food, but willing to give it a try. Dean was about to eat the eggs when the priest slapped him on the hand."Not until we say grace." Dean had almost forgot that while they stayed with Pastor Jim they had to pray to God. Something Dad, nor Bobby, or any of the others that watched over them made them do. The priest put his hands together, bowing his head, closing his eyes before he began to speak. "Let us thank God for food when others are hungry; for a drink when others are thirsty; for friends when others are lonely. Amen." Dean rolled his eyes as the priest crossed himself, picked up his fork again and began eating. After they were finished with the meal, Sam and Dean washed the dishes, putting them away when they were finished drying. Sam was thrilled to begin their studies, he was such a nerd. Dean rather skips the educational and religious crap and get on with the hunting lessons. A book was open before him, along with a notebook, his paper completely blank. Whereas Sammy was writing away, flipping through the pages of his own book. Dean would have rather been at Bobby's, working on the cars, playing sports, training. The end of the pencil tapped against the notebook out of boredom.  "Dean, knock it off, that's distracting," Sam said aggravated with his older brother, with a roll of his eyes Dean did as his little brother asked, watching him get back to his school work. After awhile, Sam closed both his book and notebook just as Pastor Jim came into the living room.  "Are you two done with your school work?" "Yes," Dean answered for the both of them, quickly closing his as well before the priest could see that he hadn't done any work. Sam threw him a look that Dean completely ignored, hurrying out the front door to begin training, something he actually enjoyed doing. Sammy, not so much. So it didn't surprise Dean when his little brother opted out, most likely asked Pastor Jim if he could stay and do some more school work.   ***** Chapter 10 ***** "Where is he?" Sammy pouted at Pastor Jim, Dad was supposed to be there to pick them up hours ago. There was no sign of him, no phone call to tell them he was stuck in traffic, or he would be late for some other reason.  "He'll be here," Dean said before the priest could get a word in.  "How do you know that?" Sam snapped back at him, causing Dean to roll his eyes, not needing to answer, the Impala was coming down the road and Sammy brightened up immediately went running toward the car as it came to a stop in front of them, with the engine still running. Dad stepped out of the car and Sammy threw his arms around him. "Where have you been?"  "Sorry Sam, I got caught up in traffic." Dad wasn't telling him something, Sam didn't catch on to it, but Dean did. "Did they cause you any trouble?" Dad asked the priest who shook his head, but turned his gaze toward Dean and pulled Dad aside to talk to him privately. Dean was trying to hear what they were saying but felt his arm being tugged and he looked at Sam.  "Let's get our things," Dean nodded his head and helped Sam get their things and load them into the Impala. As Sam and Dean buckled themselves in, Dad got into the driver's seat, buckling up and taking off from Pastor Jim's home. "Where are we going?" Sam asked out of curiosity. "You will see when we get there," Dad remarked passively, acting strange and he sounded upset about something. Sam and Dean exchanged looks, neither of them going to ask Dad what was wrong. It was just better to leave it alone, and he wouldn't answer them anyway. Sam soon fell asleep, leaned up against Dean. "Pastor Jim told me you didn't do any of your school work Dean." Dad finally spoke, as if he had been waiting for the right time to bring it up, or for Sam to fall asleep. Dean didn't know which.  "It's not important," Dean remarked, avoiding eye contact with Dad, who was looking at him in the rearview mirror.  "You have to at least try Dean, or you will get us in trouble." Sighing lightly, Dean met Dad's gaze in the rear view mirror.  "Fine, I'll try." He really didn't mean it, he also didn't want to start an argument with Dad and have to pay for it later.  "You better, you are being irresponsible," Dad said harshly, the two fell silent, ending the conversation.  "Did you find the demon?" Dean asked after a few hours of silence and Dean saw Dad's fingers tighten on the steering wheel. "No," Dad said simply and for the rest of the ride, they were silent.  ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ Dean couldn't remember falling asleep, only that when he woke up Dad had come to a stop at another motel.  "I'm checking you two in. I'll be back as soon as possible." "You're leaving again?" Sam contemplated from beside Dean, his voice groggy from sleeping. "When are you going to stay and spend time with us?" He demanded furiously. "Sam.." Dean began, hoping to calm him down, this time, it didn't seem like it was going to work. "No, this is bullshit!" "Samuel Winchester!" Dad exclaimed, more out of shock than anger. "Don't talk like that! I'm so close to finding the demon who killed your mother. It took off on me, but I found it again!" "You always say that, and the demon always gets away," Sam argued, flinging the door open storming towards the motel, Dean slid out of the Impala pursuing after him. "Sam!" He didn't stop. "Sammy, stop!" Dean argued and his little brother stopped compliantly, turning on Dean staring him down. "You can't tell me it doesn't bother you, Dean. Dad's always abandoning us!" Sam was shouting, drawing too much attention, Dean shushed him, he wasn't sure Dad was, but he wasn't helping. "Dad's not abandoning us Sammy, he's trying to keep us safe." Trying to reason with his little brother was hard, especially when his little brother was so smart. "Keep us safe? That's a joke. A better way to keep us safe would be to stay with us!" Sam had a point, but Dean would never admit it out loud. "It's always up to you, or someone else to watch over us. When it should be Dad!" "Get in the room." Dad's voice interrupted, unlocking the door of the motel, motioning for the boys to go in. Dean instantly started heading for the room, but stubbornly Sam stayed put. "No." "Sammy come on, just get inside." Dean pleaded reaching for his brother's hand, Sam moved away from him. "No." "Get your ass inside, now!" Dad growled, his anger building, Dean had never seen Dad angry with Sam. He grabbed him by the arm pulling Sam into the room, followed by Dean who closed the door behind him. "Don't you ever back talk me, Sam." Dad was furious, Dean could hear it in his tone. "When I tell you to do something, you do it." "Can't you stay with us, just this once?" Sam argued while Dean stood in front of the door, staying out of it. Dad shook his head walking away from Sam going to the door, Dean moved out of his way, allowing him to leave. "Why didn't you stop him, Dean?" Sam asked hurt that his older brother didn't back him up. "There is no stopping him," Dean remarked plainly. That was the night Sam started running away. ***** Chapter 11 ***** Dean woke up the following morning, checking the bed next to him, Sammy was lying under the blankets still asleep. Pushing the blankets off him, Dean stood up from his bed, changing quickly, being quiet so Sam did not wake up and see the scars that Dad had left on him. Dad had left them some food before he had left last night, not telling them where he was going, only that he would be back soon. Sam had sulked the rest of the night, he didn't even speak a word to Dean, possibly even accused him of not stopping Dad. It struck Dean as suspicious that Sam had still not woke up, he walked over to the bed and pulled back the blankets, there bundled all together was towels from the bathroom, Sammy was gone. Dean began to panic, looking around the room for some clue where Sam could have gone, Dean knew he would have to call Dad and tell him what happened. Sam had run away on his watch while he was sleeping, Dad would never forgive him for this. It took Dean a long time to work up the courage to pick up the phone to call Dad. Instead of reaching him, he reached the answering machine. "Dad, Sam took off last night. " Hanging up the phone, Dean sat down and waited to hear back from Dad, trying to think of where Sammy would go. Because he was waiting for Dad to call back, he couldn't pick up the phone and start calling people, he couldn't even leave the room to go and look for him. The phone rang, Dean hesitated for a moment and picked it up. "Dean," Dad's voice said from the other end of the line. "I'm sorry Dad, I don't know what happened. Sammy must have...." Dean started to explain, but of course Dad wasn't going to listen to him. "You were supposed to watch him, Dean. Thanks to you, I have to come all the way back and find your brother. I have more important things to do than chase your brother around. Did you even think to look for him on your own?" "No, I thought you would want to know right away." "Stay there and try not to fall asleep, in case your brother comes back." The phone's dial tone rang in his ear and he slowly put the phone into the cradle, closing his eyes with a sigh, trying to understand why Sammy would run away like that. ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂  Dad slammed the door of the motel room when he arrived, "How could you let this happen?" Dad demanded slapping Dean harshly across the cheek. "I didn't let it happen, Dad, he ran away after I fell asleep," Dean explained, talking quickly, instead of Dad's palm hitting him, it was his fist punching Dean in the jaw, knocking him to the floor. "I'm getting tired of your excuses Dean. You never mean to let anything happen and it always does!" Dad kicked him putting emphasis on his last words. "If you were doing your best, this would never happen." "Well, if you acted like a dad, Sammy would never have run away in the first place!" Dean argued, the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop them. Instantly regretting it, and Dad's face hardened, starting to kick Dean repetitively and hauled him by the collar of his shirt lifting him up off the ground, slamming his skull against the wall, Dean heard a snap and pain seared from his nose.  "Now I see why Dean is so obedient to you John." A man's voice said and caught Dad off guard, stopping him from slamming Dean's face in the wall. "You.." Dad breathed out, dropping Dean on the floor, barely conscious, his nose spilling blood everywhere.  "That's right Johnny boy, I must say you are very persistent, " The man's eyes turned yellow, a grin playing across his lips, "Where is your other boy, Sam? " "That's none of your business," Dad said, taking a step toward the demon and he was thrown across the room pinned to the wall, and the demon turned to Dean. Cradling his nose, Dean shrunk against the wall, trembling in fear, the demon reached out to him, but instead of hurting him, the demon fixed the broken nose and pulled Dean to his feet.  " Would you like some payback, Dean-o? " "No, " all Dean had to do was open his mouth to speak and the black smoke voided out of the man, entering Dean's body, taking control, locking Dean up in the back of his own mind. "Get out of my son, you son of a bitch, " The demon, who was now in control of Dean's body turned around, smirking at Dad. " Now why would I do that? I haven't even started to have fun with Dean, besides, you really don't care if I take him. You just don't want Sam asking any questions. "  ' How does he know that? I didn't tell him, ' Dean panicked from the prison the demon had put him in, a gag over his mouth and wrists bound behind his back. Dad grunted, trying to break free of the demon's hold on him.  "First thing Dean and I are going to do, is, get some payback, " Dean protested under the gag, squirming against the restraints that bound him in the back of his mind, unable to stop the demon from attacking Dad, Dean heard the bones snap and watched the blood flow from Dad, leaving him barely conscious when the demon stopped.  " Dean and I are going to find Sammy, John and tell him what you have done. Dean doesn't want me too, but I think Sam deserves to know what kind of person his Dad really is." ***** Chapter 12 ***** One minute, they were in the room with Dad, and the next the demon had taken them somewhere else completely. From the back of his mind, where Dean was kept captive, he saw Sam tied to a chair and started to squirm again, trying to break free, but the demon was much stronger than he was.  "Now, Dean, settle down. You can see that little Sammy hasn't been harmed." The demon pointed out as he sat Dean down in a chair across from Sam, waiting for the other demons in the room to tie the boy up before leaving the older Winchester's body and took control of his previous meat suit. "I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch!" Dean sneered when he was set free of the inner recess of his mind, straining and squirming against the restraints he was now tied down with. The demon tisked at him, a hurt look on his face. "That's no way to speak to the person who saved you." "What's he talking about Dean? Saved you from what?" Sam asked confused and scared of what was happening.  "N..nothing Sam, he's...he's lying, just ignore him." Dean stammered, hoping his little brother would believe his lie over the truth of the demon.  "Oh, I'm lying am I?" The demon asked, actually surprised that Dean was covering for Dad still, "Well I am sure I can find some proof." Dean strained against the chair, fear swimming through him knowing that the demon would find the marks on his back from Dad's belt and he could let him find them, he couldn't let Sammy see it.  "Don't fucking touch me," Dean snapped when the demon came at him.  "Well, if there is nothing to hide why don't you prove it?" Sam retorted, catching Dean off guard. "Yeah Dean, prove me wrong...I dare you," The demon smirked at him knowingly and Dean swallowed hard. "I don't have to prove shit to you, " Dean growled at the demon and he stepped to the side and Dean was face to face with his brother. "Then prove it to Sammy," Dean suddenly felt like his whole body had become paralyzed and the demon removed the restraints and forced Dean to his feet and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up slowly, inch by inch. Suddenly the door flew open and Bobby was coming through the door, with Dad at his heels, the demons started to scream as they were sprayed with Holy water, each of them taking off, including the one that was about to expose Dean's secret to his little brother. Dean's body was free of the hold and he stumbled over his feet, and was sprayed in the face by Bobby making sure that the demon hadn't come back into his body and then pulled Dean into a hug, while Dad untied Sam. " What were you thinking taking off like that Sam? " Dad asked him as he broke the hug and looked over at Dean, still bleeding from what the demon had forced him to do.  " I thought you would see what it's like for Dean and me when you take off on us, " Sam said still shaken from the ordeal and Dad let out a frustrated sigh.  " Well hopefully, you learned why it's not okay to do stuff like that. " Dad remarked, turning his attention back to Dean. " Are you alright? " Dean knew Dad was only faking concern for Sam and Bobby's sake, still he nodded his head.  " I'm sorry, I...I tried to fight the demon, but he was..he was stronger than me. " His eyes welled with tears as Dean stammered to explain to Dad that what happened wasn't his fault, but he could tell that Dad wasn't buying a word he said, but he sure did fake it.  " I know Dean...I know..it's okay." Dad reached out for him and Dean hesitantly walked forward, allowing Dad to embrace him. " Come on, let's get out of here, Bobby said we could stay with him for a bit until I get back on my feet. " " Really? " Sam exclaimed excited, letting go of a dad and ran over to Bobby, throwing his arms around him and hugging him tight.  " Thanks, Bobby," Dean said quietly, glad they had made it when they had, but still shaken by what a close call it had been.  " Well let's not stand here all day, come on, " Bobby said and led the way out of the building with Sam on his heels before Dean could get too far Dad stopped him.  " Does your brother know? " Dad asked, his voice low and filled with fury.  " No, your secrets safe, " Ripping his arm away from Dad, Dean stormed out of the building following after Bobby and Sam. ***** Chapter 13 *****       Arriving at Bobby's, Dean followed Sam inside, purposely keeping his distance from Dad after everything that had happened. If Dad was smart, he would keep his distance as well, but Dean knew that Dad would just wait until he could get Dean alone.  " I still want to see with my own eyes that the demon was lying to me Dean," Sam suddenly announced coming to a stop on the second-floor landing and turned to face Dean. "Christ Sam, can't you just drop it? Dad has never beaten me, I told you, the demon was lying to you." "Why won't you show me then?" Sam snapped back, throwing a bit of a tantrum, the argument drawing the attention of both Bobby and Dad at the bottom of the stairway.  "Cause I shouldn't have to show you, you should just believe me!" Dean shouted back, dropping his bag on the ground and headed back down the stairs and out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Inhaling the fresh, crisp air outside, calming down. Sitting on the porch, Dean stared out at the salvage yard; even when he heard shouting from inside, he didn't budge, it sounded like Dad's voice and Bobby going at it. The front door flew open, Dean jumped up turning around facing Dad. "We are leaving" Dad announced. "Yes, sir." Dean pushed himself off the porch and headed inside to grab the bag that he had thrown down. Dean slid his bag on his shoulder, wrenching his eyes closed when his bag touched his bruised skin. Pulling himself together, Dean turned to Sam. "Got everything?" His little brother nodded his head, placing his bag on his shoulder, they left the room joining Dad and Bobby in the living room. "Bye, Bobby," Dean said, giving him a small smile, which the elder hunter returned. "I still don't see why we have to go, we just got here," Sam whined, but followed Dean to Dad, who was waiting for them with the door opened. Dean didn't respond, too emotionally drained to continue to argue with Sam and just expected Dad to tell his little brother why they were leaving since he was the reason they were leaving...again. "Maybe, it would be better if they stayed with me, John." Bobby blurted it out as if he had thought it for a while. "Excuse me after you accused me of not taking care of my kids, you expect me to let you take care of them? " Dad shook his head with a light chuckle, "I don't think so." Dean grabbed his little brother by the arm, knowing it was pointless to stand there, and that Sammy shouldn't be listening to them argue. Dean pulled Sam along after him to the Impala, opening the door and shoved Sam inside, getting in after him.  "Why would Bobby say that to Dad?" "I don't know Sam, just...drop it. It's none of our business." Dean looked out the window, Dad was storming away from Bobby, who was standing on the front porch with his arms crossed in front of his chest, glaring after him. Dad got into the driver's seat slamming the door of the Impala closed, he buckled up and started up the vehicle, peeling out of Bobby's driveway and left the house in the dust. "Don't count on seeing Bobby again for a while, boys." Dad finally spoke up after hours of silence on the road. Sammy looked over at Dean, he looked sad, but it was Bobby's fault for talking to Dad like that. Sammy had fallen asleep on the trip, his head resting against Dean's arm, and soon Dean had fallen asleep as well.  ===============================================================================   Dean woke with a start, hearing the engine cut off, and looked around noticing that Dad had stopped at a store and was already heading inside. "Dean? Where are we?" Sam asked at Dean's side and he shushed his little brother. "Just go back to sleep Sam, dad had to run into the store real fast." Sam muttered something restlessly as he made himself comfortable in Dean's lap and fell back asleep quickly. Dad came back after a few minutes and got in the car, starting back up the engine and took off again. " Think you can handle taking care of me and Sam, Dean? " Dad asked in a harsh tone, " Or will that be too difficult for you to handle?"  " Yes, sir, I can handle it," Dean said quietly, trying not to wake up Sammy. Dad nodded his head and fell silent, finding a motel with a vacancy and handed Dean the card. Dad didn't need to tell him what to do, carefully Dean moved his little brother off his lap and headed inside checking them in. After getting the key, Dean returned to the Impala, handing the key over to Dad before picking Sam up into his arms and carrying him to the room waiting for Dad to unlock the door and went in the room, laying Sam down. Turning to Dad, Dean took the bag that he had brought in and took out the medical supplies and with shaky hands, he began to clean the wounds the demon had left behind.  Dad hissed at the pain as the alcohol came into contact with an open wound, " Be more careful, Dean! " Dad exclaimed furiously, striking Dean in retaliation.  " It's not... " Dean tried to explain that it was not his fault, but the alcohols because it was doing its job, but Dad had grabbed him by the chin harshly, gripping on his jaw tightly.  " Enough excuses, Dean. Just do as you're told. " Dad shoved Dean backwards and he had to catch himself before he fell, pushing himself back up to Dad, Dean tried to be more careful with the alcohol and cotton balls. Each time Dad got hurt, Dean would suffer for it.   ***** Chapter 14 ***** For the next few weeks, Dean felt like a slave, when he was done taking care of Sam and sent him off to school, Dean was taking care of Dad; cleaning and dressing his wounds, even cooking for him. None of it came with a thank you, and a complaint never left his lips. Dad was finally healing, which wasn't good for Dean once Sam had left for school.  " I bet you loved when that son of a bitch beat me up, didn't you boy? " Dad accused once more and Dean let out a soft sigh, honestly tired explaining himself. He knew he was telling the truth, he didn't care if Dad believed him, but this was getting out of control.  " You know what Dad, you're right. I did love it. You got to feel what you do to me every damn day!" Dean remarked sarcastically, which dad was not amused with, and actually believed Dean had finally come clean. " You little shit... " Dad grabbed Dean and for the first time, Dean actually struck Dad, nailing him in the gut, taking him down to his knees. Dean was so shocked that he had actually struck Dad that he backed away, eyes wide with fear knowing he had really screwed up.  Dad retaliated, sweeping Dean's legs out from under him and he fell to the ground on his back, the air leaving his body in a whoosh. Dad was suddenly on top of him and bashed Dean's face in with his fists, then pinning Dean's wrists to the ground he removed his belt using it to restrain Dean.  " Please.Dad.." Dean pleaded trying to crawl away and felt Dad grab him by the hips, dragging him back, " I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please...it was an accident. "  " You're going to be sorry alright," Dad hissed darkly.  " Dad, no! " =============================================================================== Dad was finished when Dean was left shaking on the ground, sobbing quietly, covered in blood and sweat, "Next time you'll think twice before you try that again," Dean swallowed hard, and when Dad kicked him again, he couldn't even cry out because his voice had given out on him.  Please....please....someone make it stop, " Dean pleaded to himself, not even sure who he was begging, and not sure it even mattered. Out of all the people in this world, Dean was the last person that actually deserved to be saved.  Dean would have cried out if he could as Dad stomped his boot wherever he decided to strike Dean. Bones snapped as Dad continued to beat Dean down into the ground and he felt woozy from the blood loss. What was he supposed to tell Sam? Anytime Dean found some strength to get up Dad kicked him back down to the ground. Dad stopped when it was time for Sammy to come home and started trashing the apartment and even beating himself up. When Sam came through the door, Dad was bent over Dean, cradling him. "What happened? " Sam asked, concerned, dropping his bag and rushing over to them. "Demons; they attacked us, " Dad lied through his teeth, covering up what he had done with the best story he could think of. " Dean and I tried to fight them off... " Dad forced himself to cry, "I finally got my hands on the holy water and they took off. " Sam was buying everything Dad was saying, and Dean was so broken, that even if he could talk, he wouldn't have said anything. Dad lifted Dean off the ground, a small yelp of pain actually made its way passed his lips, every inch of his body screamed with pain as Dad carried him to the bed and laid him down. Dean fell into darkness the moments his head hit the pillow. ===============================================================================     When Dean woke up, he only saw Sam in the room, " Sammy?" he called out weakly, " Where's Dad?" " He went to the store for more medical supplies, " Sam explained, crossing the room, going to Dean's side looking over him with worry, " What did the demons do to you? " Dean groaned, feeling a shot of pain going through him. " It..it's all a blur..I ...I can't remember" Dean lied, thinking of the quickest way to make Sam stop pressing for answers.  =============================================================================== Dad stuck around until Dean was back up on his feet, and Dean could tell that Dad was pleased that every time he looked at Dean, he would flinch or shudder with fear. "I'll be gone a week, there are signs of a ghost in the next town, I don't want either of you out of each others sights, just in case those Demons come back. " " Yes, sir, " Dean replied speaking at the same time that Sammy had, and he was actually happy when he watched Dad walk put the door and leave with the Impala. Locking up after Dad was gone, Dean turned to Sam. "Here...do your homework Sammy." Dean picked up his brother's bag placing it on the table for him, going to the bed grabbing the remote on the way, turning it on when he laid on the bed. Dean was already bored and Sammy was reading for fun. Who the hell does that? Sitting up in bed, Dean started rummaging around in drawers and around the motel gathering up any quarters he could find and snagged the book right out of Sam's hands. "Dean!" The younger whined giving Dean his signature look when he was upset. "Give me back my book" "I have a better idea, let's see if this place has an arcade." Sammy's bitch face deepened more, staring him down. "I don't want to go to the arcade, and you can't go without me." Dean let out a frustrated sigh, dropping the book in front of Sammy and flopped down on the bed, turning the TV back on.   ***** Chapter 15 ***** Later, after Sam had his dinner and he was getting ready for bed, there was a knock on the door. Dean grabbed his gun from under the pillow approaching the door, ready to shoot if necessary. "Who's there?" "The manager open up."  Shit, Dean tucked away the gun and opened the door wide enough that he could look out at the guy, but made sure the manager couldn't see inside. "Is there something wrong?" He asked, finding it strange the manager had come to the door. "Yeah, if you plan to stay here longer, I am going to need some more money." This had to be a joke, Dean stared at him a minute, too shocked to say anything. "So, what's it going to be? If you can't pay then I need you to leave...now" "Alright, let me get my brother and I packed up, and we will get out of your hair." Closing the door, Dean clenched his fist in fury wanting to punch something. Taking out his cell phone, Dean went through the contacts finding Bobby and called him. Sam came out of the bathroom, looking at him confused. "Who was at the door?" "Pack up Sammy, Dad forgot to pay. We got to go." Bobby answered after Dean had explained to Sam, repeating it to Bobby and asking if he could come get them and let them stay with him. Bobby agreed, but he was still going to have to call Dad and let him know what happened and where they were. There wasn't anything Dean could do about Bobby giving Dad a piece of his mind for doing what he did, and he knew Dad would somehow make it Dean's fault. Dean helped Sam pack up everything of their's and the food from the fridge, leaving the room and turned the key, waiting for Bobby in the parking lot. Dean didn't like standing out there in the open, anything could have happened, the manager was being an ass over the money, and didn't even have the decency to allow Sam, and himself to wait in the office for Bobby to come and get them. Sam was being an annoying little shit and kept asking how much longer they had to wait, Dean knew he was tired, but he just needed to shut his cake hole and be patient. Maybe Daen was being paranoid, keeping his hand on the butt of his gun, watching anyone that passed suspiciously. Dean couldn't be too careful. Each passing vehicle excited Sammy at first until it would continue to pass them, driving by. Bobby's truck pulled into the lot, coming to a stop in front of Sam and Dean, Sammy climbed into the passenger seat and Dean loaded their things into the back. When everything was loaded into the truck he got in, sitting beside Sam and buckled up. Bobby pulled out of the parking lot, heading to his house, Sam leaned on Dean yawning closing his eyes. "Thanks, Bobby," Dean said only loud enough for the older man to hear him, Bobby gave him a quick nod of his head, not saying much. It was late and he was most likely tired, they all were. The rest of the trip was silent, Bobby finally pulled into his driveway parking the truck, Dean pulled Sammy into his arms carrying him in the house laying him down on the bed in Bobby's quest room. Tucking him in, Dean quietly left the room, closing the door slowly behind him and headed back to the truck grabbing their bags. Taking the bags inside, Dean closed the door behind him. Going to Bobby's kitchen, he began putting the food from the motel room away in the fridge and cupboards. "You didn't have to do that Dean," Bobby said from behind him, shrugging his shoulders Dean put the last of it away. "I wanted too..." He was going to head to bed but stopped just before leaving the kitchen, turning back looking at Bobby. "Was Dad angry..about the motel?" Dean asked hesitantly, not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer. " O' course he was. " Bobby replied, but did not divulge any more than that. "It's late Dean, get some sleep." Turning away from Bobby, Dean headed to the guest room, across the room Sammy slept in and crawled into bed. At least at Bobby's Dean wasn't so worried about a demon coming after them, they would be nuts if they tried. So, for the first time in months, Dean was able to sleep peacefully. ***** Chapter 16 ***** "Dean, wake up!" Sammy exclaimed, shaking him, Dean groaned and sat up with a start, he was supposed to be awake before Sam to get his breakfast ready. " 'M up, I'll get breakfast for you.." Dean murmured, rubbing at his eyes, pushing the blankets off him. "Bobby already made breakfast, come on!" Getting out of the bed Dean followed after Sammy out of the room, smelling the food, making his stomach flip, and tried to recall the last time he had eaten anything. Sitting down at the table, Dean looked at the plate in front of him. It seemed Bobby had gone out of his way, he had made eggs, bacon, hash browns, and even toast.  "Well don't just sit there gawking boy, eat!" Dean jumped, his heart flying out of his chest and picked up his fork, forcing small bites of food in his mouth, not noticing the strange look Bobby was giving him. Luckily for Dean, it was Saturday, which meant that instead of sitting in a boring classroom all day, he could go out to Bobby's yard and tinker on the cars. Dean ate until he was full, which to him seemed like a lot, but both Bobby and Sam were surprised that Dean had only taken a small bite of toast and left the table, hurrying outside. The world around Dean slipped away as he got started with the Ford he had picked out. "Dean?" Jumping when Dean heard Bobby say his name, Dean's heart began to race as he turned around, trying to wipe any fear from his face as he looked at Bobby. "You alright boy? You seem a bit jumpy." "I..I'm fine Bobby. Still a little spooked from when the demons jumped me and Dad in the motel room," Dean lied so easily, that it surprised him.  "Alright..well...if you make a mess, make sure to clean it up," Bobby told him, turning around to walk back to the house. " I will, " Dean called after Bobby, about to get back to work when he heard the sound of the Impala's engine, fear churned in his stomach and Dean looked to the driveway seeing Dad pull in and stop the car. "Get your brother and get in the car. Now, Dean." Dad ordered, trying to remain calm, his narrowed eyes aiming at Bobby and not Dean. "Y-yes, sir," Dean stammered, willing his legs to move and rushed into Bobby's house, finding Sam reading a book. "Grab your stuff..Dad's here, we're leaving." Sam looked upset as he closed his book and got up from the sofa and headed upstairs to grab his things with Dean following at his heels. The day that had started off so well, had now turned miserable, Dean wasted no time to get ready, if he dragged his feet, he knew Dad would be more upset, and he could already hear him honking the horn outside impatiently. Once Dean had finished, he met with Sam in the hall and the two brothers descended the stairs together. "Why can't we just stay with Bobby for a while? " Sam asked as he adjusted the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. Dean didn't answer his little brother, he knew it probably had something to do with the last time they were there, and Dad and Bobby had gotten into a fight. Sam should have been able to figure that out on his own, Dean didn't want to always explain things to his little brother, because he, too, thought it was just as stupid as Sam did, he just didn't have the same courage to say it like Sam would. Sam didn't have to worry about what Dad would do to him for speaking out.  Walking out of the house, Dean headed to the Impala, "Thanks for letting us stay Bobby." He muttered quietly and continued on his way to the car, putting his bag in the trunk and popped open the back door waiting for Sam to say his goodbyes to Bobby. "Come on Sam, I don't got all day, " Dad barked, Sam gave Bobby a hug before running to the Impala, putting his bag in and crawled in the back seat, followed by Dean, who closed the door once they both were settled in the car. Dad got in and slammed the door behind him, making both his boys jump, Sam was surprised, but Dean was scared. He didn't like when Dad was silent like this, it meant that whatever Dad was stewing on would blow up in his face, Dean chewed on his lower lip, regretting each mile they got further away from Bobby's. Dad purposely drove the day away, stopping once to fill the Impala with gas and grab some snacks for Sam and Dean so he didn't have to hear either of them bitch about being hungry. Dean didn't eat, though, he felt too sick. By the time Dad finally stopped, it was late at night, and Sam had fallen asleep against Dean's shoulder, popping open the door Dean got out and lifted Sam out of the back seat, carrying him inside. Laying him down in bed, Dean closed his eyes for a minute and swallowed hard, willing himself to turn and face Dad, unable to keep himself from trembling.  "Why did you call Bobby? After I specifically said I didn't want you boys around him?" Dad sneered, keeping his tone low so he didn't wake Sam, Dad didn't have to raise his tone to Dean to make his point.  "I.. " Dean began, his words failing him, " Bobby was the first person I found in my contacts..we had to leave, the manager was being a douche, and I didn't want to bother you." "There were plenty of other people you could have called, Dean." Dad pointed out and Dean lowered his gaze to the ground, biting his tongue, "Look at me!" Dad ordered and Dean's eyes automatically snapped back up, contacting with Dad's. "Don't you ever, disobey me again, boy." Dean's eyes widened in shock that Dad wasn't tearing him a new one. "Y-yes, sir..." Dean stammered, moving away from the side of Sammy's bed, Dad had been waiting for Dean to do it, when Dean was far enough away Dad grabbed Dean by the throat, squeezing and cutting off Dean's airway. Choking, Dean grabbed Dad's fingers, trying to pry them free, his vision beginning to blur as Dad forcing Dean to his knees.  "Dad? ***** Chapter 17 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes " Sam.?" Dad breathed out, shocked that his younger son had actually woken up, he had never woken up before.  " What's going on? " Sammy demanded, eyes wide, staring at Dad who still had his hands wrapped around Dean's throat. " Why are you strangling Dean? Let him go! " Dad's hands released Dean's neck and fell to his sides, Dean began to cough harshly gasping for air.  "Sam, listen, this isn't what it looks like.." Dad began reaching out to place his hand on Sam's shoulder, but Sam pulled away.  "How isn't this what it looks like? You were strangling him! " "Sammy.." Dean began, his voice hoarse, not really sure what he was going to say to his brother. "It was my fault.." "You lied to me," Sam pointed out, as the realization dawned on him. "You told me the demons were lying Dean, you swore Dad would never hurt you! How long has this been going on?" Dean's voice failed him and Dad continued to stand there like a deer caught in headlights, "I'm calling Bobby and telling him everything. We are going to stay with him, and you won't stop us." Sam shouted at Dad, breaking him from his trance as Sam slid off the bed, grabbing for the phone on the nightstand between the beds. "The hell you will," Dean heard the violence in Dad's tone, and he started to close in on Sam, kicking Dean's protective instincts into gear. Pushing from the ground, Dean jumped him, holding him back. "You swore, you would never hurt Sam!" Dean exclaimed, and Dad repelled backward, slamming Dean into a wall, knocking Dean off of him and to the ground, a groan leaving Dean's lips "Bobby? Hey, it's Sam...You need to get here as fast as you can, Dad is hurting Dean," Dad turned on Sammy as he hung up and picked the receiver again, "You touch Dean or me, the next call I make is the cops," Sam threatened. Dad stared at him for a long time as if considering if it was a bluff or not, and made a move for Sam. "Dad, no!" Hearing Dean's plea, Dad turned around and kicked Dean. Sam began to dial the number and Dad noticed and in a panic, he ran from the room, once he was gone, Sam crossed the room sliding to his knees beside Dean, too afraid to touch his older brother. "Why did you lie to me, Dean?" Dean shook his head, he had so many reasons he could have given Sam, but he didn't have the heart to tell his little brother any of them. When Bobby came, he rushed in the room and over to Dean and looked him over before helping Dean to his feet.  "Come on, let's get out of here," Bobby said as calmly as he could manage before he took Sam's hand, John was lucky that he was gone by the time he ha gotten there, or Boby would have torn him a new one. Leading both boys out of the room, Bobby focused more on Dean then Sam, trying to keep him stable on his feet, getting them both to the truck and after helping Dean in, Bobby waited for Sam to do the same before he loaded up as well and took off, heading for his place.   The End Chapter End Notes Continued in the second part; Lift Me Up Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!