Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/2049222. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/M, Multi, Other Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Hyuuga_Hinata/Uzumaki_Naruto, Haruno_Sakura/Uzumaki_Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata/Other_Character Character: Hyuuga_Hinata, Uzumaki_Naruto, Haruno_Sakura, Yamanaka_Ino, Hyuuga Hiashi, Hyuuga_Hanabi, Inuzuka_Kiba, Aburame_Shino, Uchiha_Sasuke Additional Tags: Angst, Reverse_Chronology, Cheating, Breakup, relationships, Alternate Universe_-_Modern_Setting, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, teenagers having_sex, they're_all_16-17_though, Heartbreak, Sex, Public_Sex, Underage_Sex Stats: Published: 2014-07-30 Updated: 2014-08-19 Chapters: 6/12 Words: 4020 ****** Hinata and Naruto's Not-So-Infinite Playlist ****** by Blue_Iris Summary This is the story of how she begins again. This is the story of how they end. This is the story of all that she learns from him, and from herself. This is the story of how they begin. This is the story of Hinata and Naruto. ***** August 20, 2012: When I'm Gone ***** Chapter Summary The last track: "When I'm Gone (Cups)," Anna Kendrick (originally by the Carter Family). Hinata picks up a black t-shirt from her bed and looks at it. It’s a few sizes bigger than her, comfortable to sleep in and wear around the house when there’s nothing else to do. Despite being washed nearly a thousand times, it still smells of ramen and, oddly enough, oranges. The mixed scent is familiar and comfortable, even when it brings up memories that make her chest ache. Hinata gives it one last crooked smile before folding it up and putting it in the box. The next thing she picks up is an orange hoodie—big, soft, and warm. Perfect to wear on a chilly winter afternoon, especially while cuddling next to someone else. Hinata folds it carefully and lays it next to the black t-shirt. Next is a little stuffed fox. It has dark, reddish fur and nine tails that curl like live flames. Its eyes are big and brown, absolutely adorable. Hinata pauses and holds it like it’s the most precious thing on the planet. With stinging pearl eyes, she gives the little fox one last hug—and then places it gently inside the box. There are a lot more objects to get rid of—gifts, books, manga, anime DVDs, more clothing, and some coupons for Ichiraku—and parting with each is more painful than the last. Still, Hinata soldiers on and places them all inside the box. When she’s finally done, she seals the box closed and writes his name down on the side in black marker. Then she goes down to the garage and packs it into her car, along with the boxes full of her things. The next morning is full of rather tearful goodbyes. Ino hugs her tight, not wanting to let her go. Hinata finds that she doesn’t want her to let go. Kiba tries not to cry, even as little Akamaru is howling with sorrow from inside his gray hoodie. Rather than reveal his sadness, he clings to protective anger: “Any of those Uni assholes try to fuck with you, you call me and I’ll kick their ass to kingdom come!” Hinata nearly chokes on her laughter. “O-okay.” Shino is silent but gives her a hug for the first time since middle school. For Hinata, that’s enough. Hanabi refuses to come out of her room, even when her sister inevitably gets in her car, but Hinata waves at the bedroom window anyway. Before she finally gets in her car and drives away, Hiashi takes her to the side and gives her a warm, safe embrace, his body trembling even as he tries to stay stoic. The hug makes Hinata think back to a simpler time when they were close, when their relationship wasn’t so strained and struggling for that bond. She takes a shuddering breath and hugs him back. Finally, when all that needed to be said has been said, she gets in her purple Honda Civic and drives away from her house—but makes one last stop. Since it’s still early in the morning, his house is still silent. His parents probably haven’t even gotten up yet. Hinata finds it a blessing honestly. After a few months of silence, she doesn’t want to face his parents and have them ask questions about either the box or what happened between her and him. After all, if he won’t tell them the story, she certainly won’t. After parking her car across the house, Hinata gets out and gets the box from the backseat. After closing the door, she walks across the street and steps up to the porch. She stares at the door for a few moments—Should I knock? Ring the doorbell? Leave a note?—but then decides not to waste more time. She places the box by the door and goes back to her car. She drives until she’s at Konoha’s exit sign—You are now leaving Konoha! Hope you enjoyed your stay—and then she pauses. She goes beyond that sign, she will have to face the world beyond it. A world where, somewhere in another state, a university has accepted her and is waiting for her. A world that won’t have her friends (both current and former), or Naruto Uzumaki. A world that will be far from familiar, full of new beginnings, and possibly new hurts. With a smile growing on her face, Hinata Hyuga drives on. ***** April 30, 2012: That Girl ***** Chapter Summary The penultimate track: "That Girl," a slam poem by Alysia Harris (featured on HBO's Brave New Voices). By next Monday, Hinata is all smiles when she walks through Konoha Academy. She has been officially accepted to all of the colleges she applied to, including the out of state ones. One of her poems was published in a literary magazine for teen authors. And, to top everything off, it seems that everything between her and Naruto has been fixed. She is trying not to let hope float her off the ground, but she can’t help it. All she has to do is close her eyes and think back to the night before, when Naruto had come to sneak into her bedroom—just like how it used to be. Hinata blushes behind her locker door as she thinks back to last night. She thinks of Naruto’s lips on hers, hot and desperate, wanting; of how he gently shed all her layers and expertly touched her in all the places that made her blood pump, like he still had her body memorized even after the breakup. And, of course, she thinks about how right it felt when he slid inside her and fucked her until she had no idea where she began, where he ended, and vice versa. It was the sort of lovemaking that’s been written about in romance novels for who knows how long. In fact, the past six months have played out like a romance novel, a badly written one at that. First there’s Naruto and Hinata’s original relationship, which seemed perfect as far as Hinata knew. Then came the new girl, Sakura Haruno—who brought doubts, distrust, and all sorts of drama between Naruto and Hinata. Then Naruto starts acting cold towards her—and then cheats with Sakura for two months. Cue messy breakup and awkward interactions from all sides. Then, a few weeks ago, Sakura cheats on him with Sasuke, his best friend. Naruto then starts talking to Hinata again, leading to him sneaking into her room and sleeping with her last night. ...Almost too perfect, huh? Hinata frowns. Yes, it does sound a little too perfect to be true. But she should still take a chance, right...? “...Hey, Shikamaru! Did you do any of the homework last night for Iruka- sensei’s class?” She perks her head and listens. “Some of it, yeah. But no way in hell I’m sharing my answers with you. You’ll just get us both in trouble.” “Aw, c’mon man! If I don’t get this done, Iruka will flunk me for sure- ttebayo!” “Not my problem. Troublesome bastard.” “Well, fuck you too!” Hinata turns to see Shikamaru leaving a frowning Naruto and she giggles. He still looks cute whenever he gets all pouty. As he slings his messenger bag on his shoulder, Hinata musters enough courage to walk up to him with a warm, rather bashful smile. “Good morning, Naruto!” Naruto flinches a little, swallows, and then shifts his gaze away with a light flush. “H-hey, Hinata-chan.” ...Okay, that’s weird.Usually Hinata is the awkward one. Still, she keeps smiling up at him. “Is it okay if we talk about, um,” Hinata lowers her voice to a whisper and leans towards him, “last night?” This time Naruto visibly bristles and his blue eyes shift around again, looking at everything but her. Hinata falters a little. “N-Naruto, what’s wrong—?” “Hey, Naruto! Ready to go to Kakashi-sensei’s class?” What?Hinata whips her head to see Sakura, all smiles and looking pretty as usual, and she immediately frowns. How can she act all normal, like she hasn’t—? “Sure!” Naruto beams and practically runs to Sakura’s side, his hand lacing with hers. “Let’s go.” With a wider and warm smile full of what looks like love, Sakura lays a soft kiss on his mouth. “Let’s.” Hinata feels her heart seize up and freeze, her eyes widening. But he said... He said—! “Oh, Hinata,” Sakura says, finally noticing her presence. “Did you need something—?” “—Nah, she was just telling me about what our final will be like in Kurenai- sensei’s class,” Naruto grins and turns back to Hinata, his eyes holding nothing. “Twenty short answers and one short essay, right?” Hinata stares at him. “...Hinata-chan?” He taps her forehead lightly with his knuckle, knocking as if on a closed door. “Hello? Anyone in there?” His voice is playful, but only pierces and brings on pain anew within her chest. Hinata places a hand over where her heart is and puts on a smile. “A-ah, y-yes, Kurenai-sensei’s final,” she says. “A-also, don’t forget to study the Shakespeare plays we read Naruto-kun! Th-they will definitely be on the test.” “Right, I’ll remember. Thanks, Hinata-chan!” And, with his hand laced with Sakura’s, Naruto walks away from Hinata again and doesn’t look back. “I’m still surprised you talk to her, Naruto,” Hinata hears Sakura whisper, even as she turns away from them. “I mean, did you see that back there? She’s so weird!” Naruto chuckles, an awkward, boyish sound. “Yeah, well, you know...” Hinata doesn’t bother hearing the rest. While they walk one way, she walks the other, still trying to hold herself together. She manages to last until Study Period, which might as well be a free period, with how the class of 2012 sees it. She walks up to the roof and finds Ino hanging up there with Shikamaru and Choji, as usual. Ino, the troublemaker. Ino, the “school slut.” Ino, her best friend. Sensing her presence, Ino turns from her childhood friends to smile at Hinata—only to have her expression morph into concern. “Hinata?” She jumps up and nearly runs to her. “Hinata, are you okay?” Rather than answer, Hinata hugs Ino around her torso and buries her face into her shoulder. “He lied,” she keeps saying. “He lied to me again.” Ino blinks, and then her blue eyes soften with understanding. She lifts her arms and hugs Hinata back, as if to protect her from all the hurt and all the pain—even if it’s already impossible. Finally, after holding herself together for so long, Hinata lets the tears fall and break her apart. ***** April 27, 2012: Save Tonight ***** Chapter Summary The tenth track: "Save Tonight," by Eagle-Eye Cherry. The way he comes to her that Friday night is straight out of the movies—rocks thrown at her window, whispers about wanting to be let in, the whole shebang—but Hinata lets him in anyway. It’s a familiar scene. A comfortable scene. If only she and him were still dating. “N-Naruto-kun, what are you doing here?” She whispers to him, once he’s inside her room. Naruto looks at her with empty, baggy eyes. “Please, Hinata-chan. I need. I just need to talk.” “...Is it about Haruno-san?” Hinata asks, though she already knows the answer. “Yeah...” I knew it. “...but there’s more than that, too.” She blinks. “Like what?” Naruto gives her a look beneath his blond fringe. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us too. How we ended. How...how fucked up it was for me to do that to you. How do you not hate me? How can you still even lookat me after what I did—? I just don’t get it.”              Hinata widens her eyes, a blush lighting up her cheeks. She turns to look at a spot on her wall, twiddling her index fingers together. “I-it’s not that I’m not mad at you,” she stammers. “I-I still am, actually! But I c-c-can’t hate you.” Naruto frowns. “Yeah, but why?” Damn it!“B-b-because I still want you to be happy...” “But why.” Her eyes sting, but Hinata doesn’t cry. Instead, she finally looks him in the eye and answers as firmly as she can, “Because I still love you.” Naruto blinks and stares at her with wide eyes, as if this is the first time he’s ever really lookedat Hinata. Hinata bites her lip but doesn’t falter her own stare. This is the first time they’ve exchanged such looks ever since he ended what they had in January, and she’s not sure how to feel about it. All she knows is that the look he’s giving her is making her stomach bubble and her heart flutter. Before she realizes it, hands are cupping her cheeks and Hinata finds herself being pulled to Naruto’s face. Once their mouths meet softly, Hinata can’t—won’t do anything to move away. This is the moment she’s been hoping for, ever since her heart tore in two. She takes in a shuddering breath and presses back to Naruto, putting all her longing and hope and heartbreak into their kiss. Naruto lets out something like a growl and moves one hand down her side. Then he gently pushes her back onto the bed and crawls over her. Once he manages to settle himself between her legs, Naruto parts from her and delivers hot kisses to her neck, licking and suckling at the skin. Hinata throws her head back, gasping at the familiar heat that pumps through her veins. She wraps her arms around him and hangs on tight. The next few minutes are a blur of touches and pleasure, with Naruto disrobing her of her tank top and shorts and tossing his own shirt and jeans aside as his hot hands become reacquainted with her body. In between kisses and having his mouth and hands all over her, Hinata runs her own hands down his toned arms, his solid shoulders, his strong back, lays her mouth on his jugular—she needs to have him inside her. Needs to feel their connection. Needs him to make her explode. After tasting her and bringing her close to completion, Naruto sits up and takes out a condom from her nightstand. He rolls it on, lines himself up to her, and then enters her with a slight hiss. Hinata presses her arm to her mouth, tries to muffle her moan, even as Naruto’s cock goes so deep, touching all the spots that drive her insane. It’s been a while since anything has been inside her, even her own fingers. Nothing ever felt as good (right) as when Naruto made love to her. Hinata looks up at him with smoky eyes and tightens her legs around his waist. Move. Naruto nods and proceeds to pound into her. Hinata grabs his shoulders again, pulling him closer. He groans as their slick skin slides together and buries his face into her neck, his thrusts getting rougher, harder, deeper. Hinata finds her nails scraping down his back and clenching around his hips. She throws her head back, her eyes closed. A little more. Just a little more...! She lets out something like a gasp and a moan, something too breathy to convey how good her orgasm feels. Naruto groans at the sensation clenched around his cock, but fucks her through it, his own orgasm still a while off. Pleased and still rather sensitive, Hinata gently bites down on his shoulder, silently driving him on. Yes, yes, yes—! “Hinata, God, Hinata,” he keeps saying near her ear, his voice strained and shaky, like his limbs. “...Missed you so much, baby. Feels so fucking good...!” Hinata finds herself getting further lost in the sensations, in Naruto’s praises, and the love that swells inside her heart. She finds herself smiling into his skin, a tear happily running down her cheek. Everything is going to be fine now, is what Hinata keeps thinking to herself, even when she wakes up alone the next morning. ***** April 15, 2012: Misery ***** Chapter Summary The ninth track: "Misery", by Hypnogaja. Hinata tries not to laugh when it comes out that Sakura has been cheating on Naruto with Sasuke Uchiha, one of the most popular guys in school, as well as one of the heirs to one of the most prominent families in Konoha. Hinata tries not to laugh, especially when she witnesses Naruto and Sakura in a heated argument that leaves them both nearly crying—him, out of anger; her, out of her confusion and indecisiveness. “I thought you loved me?!” “I do! But I like Sasuke-kun, too!” “...the fuck? You can’t have us both!” “...I know, I know, damn it!” She tries not to laugh, even when Naruto is calling her up and lamenting on how things between him and Sakura ended up, opening his heart to her as a friend. She tries not to laugh, even as she comforts him—“Everything will be okay, Naruto-kun. I’m sure Haruno-san is just going through some issues right now...” Hinata tries to keep a straight face throughout everything, but when she’s left alone to contemplate the harsh irony, she can’t help but let out the laughter that’s been bubbling inside her since the news came about. It’s not that she’s happy that Naruto is miserable—quite the opposite, actually—but there’s something rather funny about how both their situations have now become similar. Life truly is rather funny. Still, she remains a listening ear for Naruto’s sadness and gives him comfort when he needs it. After all, while misery does love company, Hinata truly hopes it doesn’t hold Naruto down for long. ***** March 2, 2012: Just Be Friends ***** Chapter Summary Eighth track: "Just Be Friends," by Luka (Vocaloid). Sometimes, they still speak to each other. A little difficult not to, since they share so many classes already. Sometimes, they pass each other and exchange a small, somewhat awkward smile. Sometimes, when they are hanging with mutual friends, he looks at her once before going back to an enthusiastic conversation with one of his friends—as if that’s all the acknowledgment he needs to give her now. Sometimes, there are days where Naruto barely notices her at all. She tries not to feel hurt, tries not to let it get to her. For weeks, Hinata has been trying. She’s trying to play the part of Naruto’s “friend” again. It should be such an easy role. She played it for years, ever since they met in middle school, ever since she realized how strong her feelings for him are. Being his “friend” should be simple. But every time she sees him, the pain just blooms from her chest and spreads all over. She wants to hold his hand again, just one more time. She wants to hold him, to have him kiss her, to be by his side. She wants him to look at her with gentle blue eyes, that tender smile, as if she’s the only person who matters—just like before. The last thing Hinata wants for them is to go back to being “just friends.” Hinata wants all this and more, but Naruto has already made his decision to end their story—and exchange it with this. “I’m really sorry, Hinata. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you,” she remembers him saying not too long ago. “Is it okay? Is it okay if we just stay friends from now on?” And of course, because Hinata is rather desperate to have anything from him, she’d replied, “O-of course.” How foolish, and how very naive—she realizes that, even now. How can Naruto and Hinata return to being friends again when they can’t even be in the same room together? When they can’t even look each other in the eye? When even a hello is torturous? Hinata looks across the table at the restaurant, sees Naruto sitting in the furthest seat from her—talking to everyone but her—and she frowns. (This is friendship?) She stares back at her untouched food and clenches her hands into fists at her lap. Then she turns to Ino, who has started a rather flirty exchange with Kiba. “I’m going home, okay,” she says. Ino frowns and leans close to Hinata. “Are you okay, Hina-chan?” “...I’m not feeling too well.” Technically, not a lie. “Do you need me to drive you?” Kiba adds, also concerned. Hinata shakes her head and gives them both a small smile. “No. I’ll be fine on my own. Thank you!” So, with that said and done (even with Kiba and Ino still looking worried), she gets her dinner wrapped up and pays for it at the register. Then, after glancing once more at a laughing Naruto, Hinata walks out the door. ***** February 14, 2012: When It Was Me ***** Chapter Summary Seventh Track: "When It Was Me," by Paula DeAnda. Valentine’s Day has come again, but as far as Hinata is concerned, it’s just another day now. One that no longer has much meaning. Of course she rolls with the motions—gives chocolate to friends, accepting the few anonymous love letters that get stuffed in her locker, and doing school work—but the truth is that she just wants this day to be over. She doesn’t want to see people exchanging chocolates and declaring love for one another. She doesn’t want to see romance bloom between fresh couples. But, most of all, Hinata doesn’t want to see this: “Hey, Sakura-chan! I got you a present. I hope you like it.” “Naruto, I’m supposed to give you a present today. You’re supposed to wait until White Day.” “Yeah, I know,” he chuckles. “But I saw this necklace just the other day and thought of you, and I just couldn’t wait!” Sakura looks again at the pink, jeweled necklace in the box Naruto just opened and a light blush rises to her cheeks. Must feel nice to be compared to a flawless jewel. She casts a coy smile at him and lowers her eyelids. “You shouldn’t have, really.” Naruto grins. “I wanted to!” Sakura laughs, then turns around, lifting her long hair up to reveal her perfect pale neck. “Well, put it on me, then! I wanna see how it looks.” His grin widens, a light flush rising to his whiskered cheeks. Then Naruto shuffles to get out the necklace, put the box in his pocket, and then clip the jewelry onto Sakura. The silver chain smoothly goes around her neck, the jewel falling slightly to rest at the center of Sakura’s breast. She turns around and marvels at it, her smile wider. “Thank you, Naruto,” Sakura croons. Then she leans up, cups her hands around his jaw and neck, and pulls him down for a soft kiss. Naruto practically falls into the kiss, letting out a groan of longing that can be heard by anyone within a few feet. When he parts from Sakura, he wets his mouth and grins wide, the tips of his ears now red. “I’ll see you after school then?” “Sure. What are we going to eat?” “Ramen, of course!” Sakura blinks, then raises an eyebrow. “Ramen?” Naruto nods. “Over at Ichiraku’s, the very best in town.” “Naruto, Ichiraku’s is the only ramen place in town.” “Still the best, dattebayo!” Green eyes roll as Sakura sighs and shakes her head. Then she smiles up at him; though, if you were to look closely, you would notice that it doesn’t exactly reach her eyes. Naruto chuckles anyway, ever oblivious. “I’ll see you later then.” Sakura says as she starts walking to her class. “Thanks for the gift!” “You’re welcome,” Naruto calls after her. “Love you!” “You too!” Then, with a skip in his step and many victory punches in the air, Naruto leaves. Across the hall, her head hidden by an open locker, Hinata stares inside with wide, gleaming eyes. She shudders and starts wringing her hands, one finger focusing on her left ring finger—one that was once sheathed in a gold band with a light purple jewel, one that Naruto got her last Valentine’s Day, one that he got because it reminded her of her eyes. Hinata still has that ring. She remembers wearing it for the first time, how she felt special; and she remembers the way Naruto looked at her in the same way as he now looks at Sakura. Not for the first time, she wonders what happened to them. And what is it about Sakura that makes her so much better? (Besides, you know, everything.) She shuts her eyes and leans her head upon the cool metal, a sharp pain in her chest. Please. Please, just let this end. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!