Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/584362.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      John_Egbert/Dave_Strider
  Character:
      John_Egbert, Dave_Strider
  Additional Tags:
      Douchestuck_AU, Frottage, Biting, Public_Sexual_Activity
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-12-06 Words: 2618
****** He's Perfect. Then He Opens His Mouth. ******
by TheMockingCrows
Summary
     John and Dave's relationship is complicated. On the one hand, John's
     personality is so unattractive it must be killed with fire. On the
     other, he's fantastic in bed and is Dave's frequent one night stand
     subject, an accident that just keeps seeming to happen. When a bit of
     kiss and grab goes awry in a bookstore, will Dave be able to live
     down being caught in the act?
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
“Hey, little mama, lemme whisper in your ear.”
“Get bent, Egbert.”
“Bent? The only bending is gonna be you over a table, babe.”
“Hardly.”
“You know you want the d, admit it. Everyone wants a piece of the Egbert.”
“Nope.”
He was pressing far too close again, tanned body against his back, hands trying
to fumble and slip around his waist to hold him. Fuck was he being forward
today, what was even getting into him? Normally John Egbert was all talk, open
flirting, casual touches. Today, he was really going for it.
Dave snorted quietly and leaned to the side in an attempt to dislodge his newly
acquired brunette barnacle, reaching for another book on the shelf. They’d
finally started stocking more photo collections from Naples, and half of them
were in black and white, and by God he wanted to see how much they cost. If he
didn’t buy a few on the spot, he’d be back later for the missing editions and a
cup of java to warm up with.
“Come ooooon! Just a little, eh? What’s a bit of making out gonna hurt?” The
hands were on his stomach now, drawing low enough to make the blonde freeze
solid before their intended path was clearer, lifting the bottom edge of the
cloth up to allow his wandering fingers access to bare flesh. “Just you, me, a
few rounds of tonsil hockey. Hey. I’ll be a gentleman and split a soda or
something with you afterwards. I’ll treat next time.”
“Next time seems to indicate you think us kissing would ever be common place.
Which it’s not, nor will it ever be. It was only a few times, and that’s that.
Now get off me, damn it,” he hissed, narrowing ruby hues in distaste.
John was having none of that, leaning up on his toes to gain a bit of height
over the other before kissing at the back of his neck. It was enough to make
Dave shudder and narrow his eyes, not giving him the satisfaction of sound. No
moans, no groans, no major reactions at all despite the heat that pooled in his
stomach and flashed his face.
“Jesus fuck, did you forget where we even ARE? Stop!”
“Why stop? It’s not like anyone but you would ever be legit rooting around in
the …. Where even are we right now?” John lifted his face to look around,
running his tongue over his braces for a spare moment before spotting the
running theme on the book spines. “The photography section. Really? Fuck, what
a hipster! …That ass is worth it though, oh man.”
“Gag me.”
“Nnngh, I love it when you talk dirty.”
“AUGH. Down, boy. Sit, stay. Roll over.”
“Oh, a dog am I? Well, then. Guess this makes sense, huh?” John leaned up on
his toes once again to align with the back of Dave’s neck, grip around his
waist tightening even as the other began to move, hoping to dislodge him.
 Maybe smack him upside the head with one of the heavy covered books to make
him stop, trying to avoid a scene. Nobody was able to see them back here,
aisles quiet save for the filtered muffle of classical music from the speakers
strategically placed around the area, and Dave wanted to keep it that way.
It was a harder struggle when Dave felt teeth biting the back of his neck, hard
enough to sting, before feeling a few solid sucks. Oh. Oh, God. How the fuck
had he remembered that? How did he remember his weak spot, if he could barely
remember anything beyond his own bloated ego? The last time he’d been bitten
was the last time they’d… what.
Had sex? He could hardly refer to it as being intimate, not with John’s
personality. Nor could he exactly call it a one night stand, as it had happened
from time to time. For all the fool John Egbert was, good God did he know how
to move in bed with the right direction. It was a trap that Dave found himself
falling into with more frequency than he’d like to admit. For instance, if Dirk
ever found out, he’d never allow him to live it down.
Hell, if ANYONE found out he and John had actually had sex , he’d never survive
it. Just let them keep thinking the comments and jokes were John being a moron.
Like usual. That anonymity was at risk the longer John suckled and bit at his
neck, growling quietly under his breath, hips beginning to rock as he rutted
against Dave’s ass.
Ignore it.
Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it, ignore it, ignore it, ignore i-
He was hard. Both of them were by this point, though John was the only one
starting to shuffle forward like a dog to rock harder against the plush curve
of the blonde’s ass, nibbling and sucking as he went. God, there’d be one Hell
of a hickey at this rate.
There was only so much skin a good scarf could cover, and only so long he’d
wear it before the desire to take it off grew too intense. Thinking fast, Dave
rocked himself backwards a few times in tempo with John’s thrusts before
reaching his hands back to grab hold of his hips. Egbert seemed pleased by this
new development, letting go of the bruising flesh to speak.
“Nnn, like that, huh? Can’t blame you, everyone wants some of this. You’re just
one of the privileged few who get to sample the goods. Gotta count yourself as
lucky, sweet cheeks, I got high standards and you fit every check on the list.
Fuckin’ delicious, ten out of ten, would bang again.”
John was actually a pretty good catch. He was attractive physically, a decent
kisser, great in bed, one hell of a screamer the second you got in his pants.
Damn near perfect till he opened his mouth.
And oh, did he love opening his mouth.
“Shut up and give me a kiss, I’ll make it worth your while.”
“Haha, NOW we’re talking!”
“But you have to be quiet.”
“What? Why! You said you liked it when I was loud.”
“I do. I just don’t want everyone else to hear it. Only I get to, right?” Dave
was murmuring by now, slowly starting to turn around to face the familiar
tanned features and bright eyes, guarding the sensitive flesh of his own neck.
“You said before I was the only one who’d ever get to hear those screams.
Something about being too cool to squeal like that, if I recall correctly?”
Dave could only pray he took the bait, running his tongue over his dried lips
to wet them, trying to look enticing. Hoping the bit of growing desperation
wasn’t showing. Don’t show John the effect he had on him, just show him what he
could be missing. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as before, since they’d obviously
be keeping their clothes on. If he got lucky, the ability to get off and walk
away quickly might break that habit John had of being horribly obnoxious after
getting what he wanted. Might shut him up, make it easier to want to be around
him for longer than a few rounds between the sheets.
Pfft, yeah, and somewhere a herd of pigs was taking flight. Let’s just keep
those hopes minimized to walking away from this exchange without feeling skeevy
right away, maybe extend the pleasant feeling till he got home and saw his
fresh hickey and changed his sticky boxers.
Ever the slave to getting what he wants, John perked right up when Dave
suddenly seemed willing, allowing him the space to turn around and settle his
hands where he pleased. The waist seemed the best spot, really, and yet those
long fingers were going lower and lower, hooking onto his hips. Just like that,
he was being lifted upwards off his feet, designer sneakers flailing in the
growing space between himself and the ground. Alarmed, John’s arms shot up to
cling onto Dave’s ribs instead, fingers curled into the back of his sweater,
the tail ends of his scarf.
“H-hey! You said kissing, man, what’s with this lifting shit? Want me to sit
all pretty while we do the lip locking? When do we get with the program, down
and dirty in the reference section like some knockoff porn from the eighties?”
Dave rolled his eyes again, praying he’d just shut the fuck up already. When he
opened his trap once more, that was far too much of a risk to endure, light
head dipping down to smother any incoming chatter with a deep kiss.
John wasn’t satisfied, kissing back eagerly even as he stretched his legs and
tried to shuffle off the shelf to try pinning his.. boyfriend? Boytoy? Object
of repeated desire? Something. Whatever. He was there, and kissing him, and
acting like he was going to top this time and that was not happening in the
slightest. Nope. Their first time fooling around in public would NOT be with
Dave topping.
Never.
Nope.
Oh, fuck did he move those hips fine in those skinny jeans, though.. Dave was
pressing closer and closer with each passing moment, scooting between John’s
knees to rest between his thighs and begin rutting with a sensual roll of his
hips. He could almost hear the creak of the too tight jeans as he moved,
shifting his weight, noticeable erection straining at the zipper, calling to
John in a familiar tone.
…Maaaaaybe letting Dave top this time would prove good.
Ceasing his struggles, the brunette lifted his knees to send his legs around
the blonde’s waist, ankles locking, holding on tightly to get leverage as he
began to rock in tandem. If he was going to be bottoming this time, by God he
wasn’t going to just lay back and take it. The prettyboy’d just have to get
used to the tempo HE was trying to set!
Then it was nothing but tongues and heat, fighting for breath as they rolled
against each other, rocking the bookshelf slightly, getting lost in their
instincts as canned, regurgitated classical music poured out of speakers. The
smell of coffee was hidden by musk and cologne, soft grunts and moans, unheard
prayers that they’d get peace while they broke all common practices of decency.
When Dave pulled away to bite gently at his jawline, his throat, suckling
gently at a pulse point, John couldn’t be mad. He knew there’d be payback for
the solid bite earlier, and there would be hickey trophies all up and down his
neck, love bites ranging up and down the board to show off. To Jake,
especially, make him wish Dirk would give him the time of day. Striders took a
bit of convincing, but FUCK was it worth it!
When pearly whites finally bit down hard and feral against his skin, John let
loose a howl of pleasure, writhing in place, humping upwards harder. Fuck.
FUCK. He needed to get off, and fast, and Dave was biting his neck and shoving
him harder and harder into the shelves and he was fairly certain everyone in
the entire building had heard them based on how fast Dave’s right hand slammed
over his mouth to muffle him.
Another bite, growling softly in warning as John continued to squeal, trying to
urge him to shut up. PLEASE shut up, he was so close. Everything was on fire
and he was cursing wearing those fucking skinny jeans, so angry, so VERY angry
that they were fashionable, wishing he could be in a set of lazy sweat pants,
or just his boxers, or completely naked in those shelves with him.
Wished they weren’t just frotting, that they were having full blown sex
somewhere that he didn’t have to forcibly keep John quiet in so he could hear
the delicious sounds of his abandon. Or at least where they could get it on the
best way possible: rolling and fighting and struggling in the bed and couch and
floor until they were both sated. It was just much better for everyone involved
if it was a power struggle to see who’d run the show each time. Made the entire
experience more fun.
There was a sound of footsteps not far away, making Dave’s blood run cold even
as he looked over, flesh in his mouth, hips unable to stop the now hammering
beat. They were busted entirely, the redheaded girl staring for a brief moment
before her eyes widened beneath press on lashes and her face tinted. All she
could get out was a soft “Oh…” before backing away quickly and disappearing.
John, damn him, was giggling and stretching his legs upwards to hook higher,
hands beneath his shirt, cheeky. A harder bite reduced him to whining and
holding on, breath coming in deep gasps. Between finally being caught, the
friction of the too tight clothes, the warm body beneath his hips and teeth and
the nagging feeling of two erections rubbing against each other, it was hard to
hold out any hope of lasting.
Thankfully, John squealed and lost the battle of wills first, shuddering, blunt
nails scratching hard at pale skin once the orgasm caught him in its jowls. He
rode it hard as his spine stiffened, legs falling wider as Dave sped up to
finish as well, only releasing his neck once the heat pooled in his stomach and
his boxers grew sticky and warm. For a good five minutes, the two teens
continued to rock against each other’s flagging erections, milking the remnants
of bliss while they could, lazily making out.
It was softer now, movements less harried and forceful, all soft lips and
tongues with warm breath. No annoyance or anger or teasing, John silent for
once, Dave making soft comfort noises in the back of his throat. Soft grunts
and sighs as he kissed at John’s lower lip, returning any kisses the other felt
like offering up in no short supply.
Finally, they had to pull apart, Dave backing up to straighten and adjust
himself as best he could with a grimace. Ugh.. He’d probably hit up the
bathroom before going home to change, not wanting to feel the chilled, drying
remains of his orgasm on his lap all afternoon. That wasn’t so bad. Not at all!
It was fantastic, and he couldn’t help but smile softly at John as he shimmied
to settle his sneakers on the floor again, adjusting his pants.
He pulled out a cellphone, flipping it open to text at lightning speed as Dave
turned to grab the book he’d originally wanted to buy. Maybe coffee would be in
order to-
Why was John giggling?
“Hey. What’s so funny?”
“Oh, nothing babe. Just told Jake we banged in the bookstore and he’s mad
jealous. Apparently Jade’s ragging about it, though. Not really sure why. I’ll
have to ask her later on facebook or something.”
“You WHAT?!”
“Shhh, hey, hey. We’re in public, dude, it’s not like nobody can hear you.”
Just as everyone had heard John’s squeal of ecstasy minutes earlier, so do did
they hear the inarticulate manly screech of rage from one Dave Strider, as well
as the slap heard round the world. The blonde bought his book and left alone
with flaming cheeks and ears, hickey prominent as part of it slipped above the
line of his scarf.
A brunette chased after him, standing in the doorway to yell after him as he
rubbed the handprint on his cheek.
“Hey. HEY! STRIDER! TEXT ME!! Strider? …. Heh. What did I say? Everyone wants a
piece of the Egbert.”
End Notes
     tumblr mirror- http://themockingcrows.tumblr.com/post/37296995087/
     hes-perfect-then-he-opens-his-mouth
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