Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/339837. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling Relationship: Sirius_Black/Harry_Potter Character: Harry_Potter, Sirius_Black Additional Tags: First_Time Stats: Published: 2012-02-14 Words: 4033 ****** Heated desire ****** by Lilith_the_ancient Summary Sirius catches Harry doing something dangerous and just in time saves him from drowning. When they go to warm up in a cabin some revelations are made. Harry is 14 in this fic. The wind was nearly blowing Harry’s cloak off his shoulders when he looked down at the roaring waves beneath him for the last time. Placing his foot at the edge of the cliff and taking a deep breath, he mumbled something and then…jumped.    *** Sirius was finally near Hogwarts. Because he was technically still on the run, he wasn’t able to see his godson as much as he would like to. Meeting each other was extremely hard and the last time had been months ago.   Though their first real encounter had only been a year ago, Sirius came to care for his godson, who was frankly the only family he had left, very much, some might say too much, but preferred not think about that. Right now he was glad that in an hour or so he would see Harry again.   In his dog form Sirius headed towards the castle. At least that was what he had planned on doing when something caught his eye. On the right of where he was standing was a large cliff with beneath it a roaring river, but it was the person standing on the cliff that had captured his attention. Black hair and cape blowing in the wind, covering a lean and tall body of a boy.   /Harry?/ But before Sirius could get a closer look or change into his human form to call him, the figure on the cliff jumped forward.   /No!/ Sirius ran as fast as he could towards the edge.   Harry did not hit the water, but floated an inch above it, a white light, a bubble, surrounding him. Then he carefully placed one foot on the water surface, it held. So he continued his walk. At some point he got the feeling he was being watched and looked up. His eyes met the stormy blues of his godfather, standing on the edge. Loosing his concentration for just a second, he blinked, which proved to be fatal, because the white light around him flickered and then disappeared. For a moment he was weightless, but then the gravity took hold and he was swallowed up by the water. He was pulled down mercilessly by a freezing flood that chilled his limbs, preventing him from swimming to the surface. All the air was squeezed from his lungs and he saw black dots in front of his eyes. Faintly, Harry heard a splash beside him, but his brain did not really register that. He knew he would die, right there and that moment. He was already saying his goodbyes to the world, when he felt strong arms wrap around his middle and pull him to the surface.   Harry was thrown on the riverbank, spitting and coughing up water. Turning his head, he saw Sirius on all fours shaking the water out of his hair. That made Harry smile. /Even in his human form he still acts like a dog sometimes./ He was just lying there and grinning like a madman, the seriousness of the situation not sinking in yet. Sirius on the other hand was perfectly aware of the danger they had barely escaped and the danger that was still ahead of them. He jumped to his feet and yanked his godson up.   “Get up Harry!”   “No, I don’t want to, too tired, want sleep,” the boy mumbled.   “Get up now or you’ll freeze to death! Don’t give in to the fatigue.”   Sirius was right. They had to find shelter or they would die of hypothermia. Howling reluctant Harry to his feet for the second time, he headed in the direction where he knew was a shack. It wasn’t much, but at least it would provide shelter from the wind and there would be wood to burn.   When they got inside the shack, Harry was somewhat more awake and conscious, so he could cast a fire spell on the branches and pieces of broken furniture Sirius had managed to collect. His godfather opened his travel bag and was glad to see that the winter cloak inside of it had miraculously remained dry. He took it out and handed it to Harry.   “Take off your clothes and wrap this around you.”   “What?”   “Haven’t you heard me? Take off your clothes and put this on, otherwise you’ll get ill.”   Sirius turned his back to his godson to let him undress in privacy en threw some more sticks in the fireplace.   “How did you find this place?” asked Harry while changing.   “Remus, James and me used to play in this area years ago. This was our secret hideout,” said Sirius. Then he perked up, as if remembering something, and went over to a small cupboard, the only piece of furniture that was left in the shack. Opening the drawer took some effort, but it turned out not to be in vain.   “Aha! Just where I left it.” With these words Sirius took an old, ragged blanket out of the drawer and held it up triumphantly for Harry to see. His godson sat cross-legged in front of the fire, wrapped in his cloak. The firelight had put a beautiful glow on his face, making his skin look more tanned and making him seem older. Sirius had taken his shirt off and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. When he looked back at Harry, the young wizard had a strange look on his face. The animagus shrugged, blaming it on the firelight playing tricks on him.   *** Harry had turned his head just in time to see his godfather take his shirt off and his breath had caught in his throat. Since the very first moment they met, even though he thought irius was an enemy back then, he had felt a strange attraction towards the black haired man. This attraction had turned into deep affection, love even, when he got to know him better. Harry knew it was wrong to think that way about his godfather because of apparent reasons: he was twenty years older, had been his father’s best friend and, most importantly, he was the only family he had left. Still the flash of skin, illuminated by the firelight, had caused Harry to shiver and his blood to run places it should not. His godfather had captured his look and the young wizard averted his gaze.   Wrapping the blanket like a cocoon around him, Sirius wriggled out of his soaked jeans and boots. Then he came to sit next to Harry. They shared a peaceful silence until Sirius’ concerned mood changed into an angry one.   “Do you care explaining me what in bloody hell you were doing?”   “I…ehm,…”   “I mean, by Merlin, Harry, do you have a death wish?!”   “I just was trying out a new levitation spell.”   “Above a cliff? Are you nuts? What if it didn’t work and you wouldn’t  have floated to the surface, but would have fallen down? What if I hadn’t been there? What if I hadn’t been able to pull you out? Do you even understand how close to dying we both came?”   The realization started to dawn on Harry. He didn’t care that much about his own death, he had faced it often enough, probably was even toying with it this evening, but the thought of loosing Sirius terrified him. Even worse, he could have been the reason the only human he called his family, the only human he loved so deeply, would die because of him, saving him.   “You saved my life.” All the events and what they implied were suddenly clear to Harry and he felt the emotions wash over him. He was aware of his body starting to shake, partly because of the cold he still felt and partly because of the feelings that welled up in his chest, and tears were running freely over his cheeks.   “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” He started to sob and his shaking increased. Sirius, whose angry mood immediately turned back into concerned one after hearing Harry cry, wrapped his arms and the blanket around his godson and hugged him tightly to his chest.   “Shh it’s ok, don’t worry, we’re save now. You just scared me that’s all.”   “No, it’s not ok…I’m sorry,…I’m so sorry…It’s all my fault, all of it,” Harry would not be reassured.   “What are you talking about?”   “I love you.” That slightly caught Sirius off guard, but he adjusted immediately.   “I love you too”   “I…I care a lot about the teachers of Hogwarts, but…I hate them too…because of what they did to you, because they still don’t understand you’re innocent and you have to live like this, hiding all the time.” Sirius felt touched by those words and wanted to reply, but Harry wasn’t done talking yet.   “…but a part of me is thankful for that, because it means that I can’t live with you and I don’t have to see you that often.” That statement was like a blow in the face for the animagus. He didn’t understand why Harry didn’t want to see him, but it hurt just as bad.   “…and I hate myself for that. For how I feel.” The young wizard was now getting fully aware of the situation he was in; practically sitting in the lap of his one true desire, their skin only separated by the thin fabric of Sirius’ cloak. He couldn’t handle it anymore and pulled back, sitting up on his knees before his godfather. Unfortunately, that motion had made the blanket slip from their shoulders and pool in the animagus’ lap, leaving his chest bare. Harry drove in a shaky breath. Sirius was beautiful. Just as the young wizard had expected him to be. Raven black hair falling on his bare shoulders, droplets of water trickling from the tips onto his pale skin. His chest broad, but his form too thin from the time in Azkaban and from his life as a fugitive now Still he was very well built, muscles already starting to develop again. And then the most striking: his deep blue eyes, which were filled with concern and pain right now, clearly asking without words ‘why?’   “Sirius I love you.”   “You’ve already told me that, I love you too, but I don’t understand…”   Harry looked straight into his godfathers eyes. “You don’t understand, I LOVE you.” Finally Sirius understood the intense look on his godson’s face. It was filled with unrequited love.   “Oh…” The animagus was taken aback and was at loss for words for a moment.   Harry averted his gaze and let his head hang down. “I’m sorry. I violated your trust.”   “Harry…” he placed a hand on his godson’s shoulder, “you did no such thing. You’ve been very brave to tell me this. Every time I am amazed by your courage in the face of the enemy or by facing something that’s far more difficult: life. You are so wise for your age, you outshine your father already. I’m glad you told me, although this’ll make things so much more complicated. Like I’ve already said, I love you, and nothing will make me feel otherwise. I love you more than life itself, but I have to admit that my feelings aren’t always as pure as I’d like them to be.”   Harry looked up, not fully understanding what Sirius meant, but happy that the man still loved him.   “What I’m trying to say is…Harry do you even understand how attractive you are?”   “What are you saying? That you’re…attracted to me too?” The young Gryffindor was shocked by that revelation. He couldn’t really believe what was just said.   “Yes I am, and I shouldn’t be.”   “Why not? Why should we deny ourselves this?”   Sirius took his hand away from the tempting shoulder and sighed. “There are a million reasons Harry. I am your godfather, you’re James’ son, I’m twenty years older and for Christ’s sake you’re only fourteen years old!”   “Yes you are my godfather, the only family I have left, but we are not related Sirius. We are the most important people in each other’s lives. We’ve been through so much. Why should we let the common standards stand in the way of our happiness? You say I’m young, but do you think Voldemort will care when he’ll try to kill me as he already did? Was I too young when my parents were taken from me? When I finally found you and lost you the same day? If that’s so then why did it still happen?” Harry lowered his voice and added in a near whisper: “I am never too young to die, we both aren’t. This could easily be the last time we see each other.”   Sirius was staring at his godson, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open. He had never expected that behind that cheerful face lay so many dark thoughts. So much wisdom. He got the urge to try and kiss all those worries and troubles away from that handsome boy.   “You know how many times I’d wake up with your name on my lips? Feeling the need to touch myself? You’re always there when I close my eyes.”   “Please Harry, don’t, you’ve no idea how hard this is for me.”   Harry wasn’t listening. He moved a bit closer to Sirius and let the cloak slip off his shoulders. The animagus took in a hiss of breath. The boy had grown into a very well built teenager. Tall, lithe form with soft skin and strong arms from playing Quidditch, Sirius could only guess that his thighs would be just as muscular. For a moment an image of Harry wrapping his legs around him popped into his head, but he immediately dismissed it, feeling his face heat up.   Meanwhile Harry had stretched out his hands and started to move them over his godfather’s neck and shoulders. Be it nothing more than butterfly light touches, they still managed to send jolts of arousal through Sirius’ body, making him grow hard.   He caught the wandering fingers, just holding them, not making an attempt to push his godson away.   “Please Harry, it’s been too long, if you push me further I won’t be able to stop,” he said in a voice rougher than it was a moment ago.    “How long?” asked Harry, his heartbeat increasing at the sound of Sirius’ voice.   “Almost fourteen years,” the animagus breathed out, when the young wizard moved closer, barely touching his lips.   “That’s way too long,”-a light touch of his lips- “Sirius,”-a soft kiss-“let it go,”-full contact. The man gasped, allowing his godson entrance, who eagerly deepened the kiss, letting his fingers entwine with the thick, black locks of his soon-to-be- lover. Sirius pulled him closer and started to roam his hands over his back and shoulders, tasting and feeling as much of Harry as he possibly could. The teen crawled into his godfather’s lap and as their cocks rubbed against each other, they both groaned. The animagus started to lick Harry’s neck, tracing the skin carefully with blunt teeth, which made the wizard in his arms moan and shiver.   Tracing the curve of his pale neck and letting his tongue slide over the crook  between the neck and shoulder, Sirius put his hands to use and trailed them down to cup Harry’s buttocks. The boy came out of his mesmerised state and began to participate more. He let one of his hands slip lower and pushing the thin fabric of the blanket out of the way, grasped his godfather’s cock in his hand. Fucking Harry’s hand, the amimagus started to lick one of his erect nipples. He traced the bud with his tongue, then sucked on it to finally gently bite down.    “Oh, God Sirius, please, need more,” Harry cried out.   Panting, they broke free, Harry letting out a dissatisfied whimper. But Sirius placed a finger on his mouth when he tried to protest. He took the blanket and laid in out in front of the fire.   “Come here, lay down.”   Harry immediately complied. Laying on his back with the firelight playing on his naked body he was breathtakingly beautiful. Hair and skin damp from water and sweat, green eyes -glasses were left behind - looking longingly at his godfather, who was too transfixed to do anything. Hypnotised by the display below him.   Suddenly a thought came into his mind and he hesitated.   “Ehm Harry…have you ever…? I mean…”   “Yes I have experimented, but not very much. Mostly with myself though. There have been kisses and some quick hand jobs, but I wasn’t particularly interested in those boys, so I’ve never let it get any further. I want you, always have and always will.” He grinned. “Now stop worrying and come here.”    He didn’t have to repeat that, because in a second Sirius was on top of him licking and sucking his skin. His hands scraped the insides of his godson’s thighs with blunt nails, willing his legs apart. Meanwhile his mouth had descended between those thighs, which were, as he had guessed earlier, indeed very strong, his tongue licked the shaft from root to tip and then he engulfed it completely. Harry cried out and fisted the blanket. He had never experienced such sensations before and his desired godfather doing this to him added to his excitement. Sirius licked the head, lapping up the pre- come. When he put his tongue over the slit, Harry arched his back and grinded his hips into that hot mouth. The animagus increased the tempo until he could feel his godson’s body shake with an upcoming orgasm.   “Oh...by Merlin…Sirius…feels so good….can’t control…any more…”   He came hard and deep down his lover’s throat, screaming Sirius’ name, who swallowed most of it and lapped the rest up with his tongue. He licked his lips and came to lay next to his young lover, who was still panting from his intense orgasm. It didn’t take him too much time to recover though. His curious hands were already tracing Sirius’ skin. Moving over his chest, experimentally touching a nipple. When that was awarded with a moan, he lowered his face and sucked on the hard nub. The animagus’ body was oversensitive. This was the first sexual contact he had had in years and what a contact! He felt that he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer. He closed his eyes to get some of his self-control back, but his eyes shot open when he felt Harry’s hot mouth on his cock. The motions were very inexperienced, but that didn’t matter, because he could easily come from the mere sight. It took him all composure he had at that moment to take his godson by his shoulders and drag him up to lie next to him. The young wizard looked puzzled at him.   “Did I do something wrong”   “No, you did well, too good actually. I don’t know how long I could have controlled myself.”   “It’s ok, I want you to come. I want to taste you.”   Sirius’ mouth grew dry from the feral look on Harry’s face and he licked his lips.   “Alright, if you don’t want to come in my mouth I know something else. You can come inside me.”   “Harry…we shouldn’t…”   “Why not? I want it, you want it, we both want it. No one is here but us. No one will know,” he straddled his godfather’s hips, “only us two.”   “Are you really sure? It can hurt the first time.”   Harry laid down again, smiling. “I don’t care.”   Sirius looked lovingly at his godson. Then he reached for his travel bag and took a small bottle out of it. Harry looked questionably at the transparent fluid within.   “Magic water,” explained Sirius. “It can change in whatever fluid you want. The good thing about it, is that it doesn’t require the use of a wand, so it’s save for me, and it never runs out. Got it from Remus.” /If Moony had known what it would be used for though, he would probably kill me/ thought the animagus. He smiled, folded his hands around the bottle and whispered something. Then he opened the bottle, placed it next to the blanket and came to lie close to his godson.   “The most important thing is that you have to relax.” That was not hard for Harry to do when Sirius stated to kiss his mouth passionately. His hands, meanwhile, moved lower, one to wrap around the teen’s erection, which was already starting to fill up, and the other to fondle with his balls. The young wizard moaned and jerked his hips upward. Still pumping his godson’s cock, the animagus let one finger circle his entrance. Harry shivered. The sensation was a bit strange, but pleasant nonetheless. The finger was taken away for a moment, to return slick with colourless substance. This time Sirius not merely circled the puckered hole, but let the finger slide all the way in. The teen under him drew in a sharp breath.   “Try to relax some more. It’ll get better. I’ll make it so much better.” The hot whispers against his neck made Harry tremble with anticipation and relax his muscles so much, that the finger could slide all the way in. Moving his finger in and out, the animagus slid down his godson’s body and at the same time he pushed another finger inside the teen, he replaced the hand on his cock with his mouth. Harry cried out in mixture of pleasure and pain, but the pain disappeared, making him see stars, when Sirius changed the angle of the fingers.   “I think I’ve found what I was looking for.”   “More…need more..” The teen was writhing under the delicious assault, pushing up to meet the fingers.   Sirius slowly withdrew his fingers, urging his godson’s legs further open. “You should be prepared more, but I just can’t control myself any longer.” Saying that, he slicked up his cock and nudged Harry’s entrance with the head. Very slowly he pushed in. “God, Harry, you’re so tight.”   The young wizard had his eyes shut tight and his knuckles had turned white from fisting the blanket, but he welcomed the pain, because it came with so much pleasure. And he knew that it would only get better. And it did, as Sirius set up a steady rhythm, every thrust aimed perfectly at his prostate, and wrapped his hand around his cock again, pumping in time with his thrusts. They both were panting and moaning now, desperately to feel as much as they could of each other.   Sirius was first to come, his self-control falling apart at too much sensation. When his hot seed shot deep inside Harry, he too climaxed. Sirius pulled out of him and fell, exhausted, on the blanket next to his lover. They didn’t have to say anything, their bonding had spoken volumes. So Harry pulled Sirius’ cloak over them and snuggling into his godfather’s arms, he fell asleep, quickly followed by Sirius.   *** Harry woke up from the first sunrays and the cold. Turning, he noticed that he was alone and that the fire had gone out. For a moment he thought that last night was nothing more than a dream, a fantasy created by teenage hormones, but when he sat up his body told him that it had been very real. Looking around, he noticed that he was still lying under Sirius’ cloak and that there was a piece of paper next to him. It said:   Dear Harry,   I’m sorry I can’t be there when you wake up. It would be too dangerous for us both. I’ve spent a whole hour just watching you sleep. I hope you know how much I love you and that I don’t have any regrets. Hopefully, neither have you. I can’t say yet when we will meet again, but remember that you are always on my mind. Look out for an owl from me. Until we meet again,   Lots of love,   Padfoot   PS: Your clothes are dry. I’ve folded them and laid them on the cupboard. You should hurry to Hogwarts or they’ll send out a search party for The Boy Who Lived.  Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!