Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2423822.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Naruto
  Relationship:
      Uchiha_Sasuke/Uzumaki_Naruto
  Character:
      Uzumaki_Naruto, Uchiha_Sasuke
  Additional Tags:
      Angst, SPOILERS_MANGA_CHAPTER_693, Drug_Use, sex_during_drug_use, Canon-
      Typical_Violence, canon!sasuke, canon!naruto, Addiction, Slash,
      narusasunaru, Fix-It, my_version_of_how_it_should_have_ended, Friends_to
      Lovers, Enemies_to_Friends_to_Lovers, Alternate_Universe_-_Canon
      Divergence
  Series:
      Part 1 of HTB_universe
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-10-08 Completed: 2015-08-16 Chapters: 23/23 Words: 132078
****** Healing the Broken ******
by KizuKatana
Summary
     Summary: The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village
     after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate
     into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade
     and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method. Naruto x
     Sasuke (slash - boy x boy). Post manga chapter 693.
     Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) language, angst, mental illness,
     substance abuse, masturbation, eventual sex. Not appropriate for
     young readers. 18+
     Disclaimer - As with everything I write on this site, I don't own the
     characters (Kishimoto does), and I make no money. My only payment is
     in reviews.
     Spanish Translation by Linme (thank you!) http://archiveofourown.org/
     works/2906273
Notes
     Author's note - I started this fic as a VISCERAL REACTION TO CHAPTERS
     692 and 693. . Then 698-700 happened, and the story continues to be
     my way of working through the ending of the manga and writing
     something that makes sense to me. This is Canon!Sasuke. Which means
     he is mentally unstable, and not warm and fuzzy. Not sexually
     experienced. Totally emotionally jacked up. So. That is what we have
     here. If substance abuse is a trigger for you, or if you have issues
     with people having sex while under the influence and view it as
     dubcon/noncon, DON'T READ THIS FIC.
***** Help *****
-xXx-
Naruto sat in the Hokage's office, looking blankly between the large-breasted
blond and his former sensei.
He had just returned from a six week mission, and he was exhausted. So he told
himself that he must be hearing this wrong. Surely his Kakashi and the Old Hag
weren't actually asking him to...
"But why not just send one of the nurses, or one of the physical therapists to
help him? Why not Sakura?" Hell, Sakura would kill to be asked to... do
whatever it was the Tsunade was asking Naruto to do.
Tsunade cleared her through and glanced down slightly. "Sakura immediately
volunteered, naturally. But even when he's... not fully in control of his
faculties, Sasuke is quite skilled. Not to mention the sharingan. He is simply
too dangerous for anyone else to handle."
Naruto narrowed his eyes. He could tell when the Old Hag was trying to gloss
over something. Especially when it came to Sakura. "What did he do to Sakura?"
Kakashi shrugged. "He threw her against the wall. Broke her arm. Then put her
into a genjutsu that she was being buried alive in a pit of snakes for three
days."
Naruto blinked. That sounded thorough, though he supposed it could have been
much worse. Given that it was Sasuke they were talking about. "What did Sakura
do to trigger that?"
Tsunade's lips tightened. Kakashi glanced at her, then rolled his eyes. "Sakura
might have been a bit... overenthusiastic to help test this approach on
Sasuke."
"Did she... she didn't... she wouldn't..." Naruto stammered, hoping Sakura
didn't try to do what he thought she might have.
Tsunade poured herself a glass of sake, and downed it quickly. "We learned not
to have any of the women of the village involved in this. The Uchiha tends to
bring out the worst in their behavior. Regardless of how they feel about him as
a ninja, as a man he... remains desirable."
"What about you?" Naruto persisted. "You aren't going to try to rape him. And
you have extensive medical knowledge. And you are experienced enough that you
could avoid his genjutsu or block his attacks, especially if he's as wasted as
you say he is most of the time."
Tsunade sighed. "This type of therapy works best when administered by someone
who actually cares for the patient. Or at least someone who can fake it. There
is no love lost between me and the Uchiha brat. He knows it, and I know it. It
has to be someone he trusts. Or at least someone he will tolerate."
Naruto wasn't sure there was anyone left alive who fit that description, now
that Itachi was dead.
"Kakash' Sensei could -" Naruto began half-heartedly, only to be cut off
abruptly.
"NO!" Tsunade said, bringing the flat of her hand down hard enough to leave a
long crack down the center of her desk. "We are not sending the most perverted
ninja in the village try therapeutic touch techniques on arguably the most
intimacy averse person in the Fire country."
Naruto almost laughed at the thought of Sasuke blearily waking up to find
Kakashi massaging his naked back, or whatever it was that Tsunade was about to
suggest he do.
But then he realized that if it wasn't going to be Kakashi, it was going to be
him. And all thoughts of laughter stopped.
This was retarded. A backrub wasn't going to make Sasuke 'all better'. And
everyone knew it. Sasuke was broken beyond repair.
Naruto paled, feeling his hands prickle with sweat. He had gone to great pains
to avoid Sasuke after the war. The bitter taste of betrayal was still too
fresh. Yes, he had defeated Sasuke. Finally, he had done what he had not been
able to at the Valley of the End. But it should never have had to come to that.
After all they had been through together in the final battle against Obito,
Madara and Kaguya, Sasuke should have trusted Naruto. He should have talkedto
him about what he wanted to accomplish instead of... Naruto clenched his fists
and forced the bubbling anger and hurt back down. He was tired of both
feelings. Tired of everything
"Old Hag. I haven't even been back to my apartment since my last mission. I'm
tired, I'm hungry, and I need a bath. Since you've already made up your mind
that I am going to be the one to do this, and you're still the Hokage, you can
make it an order. Just tell me what it is that I need to do. Let's get this
over with."
Sympathy flashed across the Hokage's beautiful brown eyes, but it was brief.
Then she was all business. The Uchiha was simply too dangerous to leave in his
current, unstable state. It was this or prison. The psychiatric ward in the
hospital would not be able to hold him.
"As you know, Sasuke never received any sort of treatment for the mental trauma
he suffered as a child following the Uchiha massacre," Tsunade began, a feeling
of anger spiking through her as she thought of how callous the Third had been
at the treatment of both Naruto and Sasuke. Had no onethought to look after the
children of the village at all? For a Hokage who had been known for his
kindness, the Third had been a true bastard in how he ignored the children of
his fallen comrades in the end. But there was nothing she could do to fix the
mistakes of the past. Her job was to focus on the present. "The long term
effects of the mangekyo sharingan that Itachi used on Sasuke twice are unknown,
but most ninja who were exposed to that technique even once suffer complete
mental breaks and never recover. Kakashi was only exposed once, and had months
of therapy following it. His exposure was less severe than Sasuke's, and even
he has had lingering effects. With the first exposure, the boy received no
treatment at all, and with the second he left the village with only the most
minimal treatment. In addition, he lived in complete isolation during his time
with Orochimaru, the curse seal further influencing his thought processes, and
witnessed god only knows what kind of depravities in his adolescent years when
we know the mind is quite fragile," Tsunade paused, letting her words settle.
Naruto realized in that moment that Tsunade had thought more about Sasuke and
the reasons for his actions than he had given her credit for. She might claim
to not like Sasuke. But she understood why he was the way he was. She didn't
blame him for it.
"Then there was... the battle with you during the war," she said, her voice
hardening with remembered anger when she found out what Sasuke had tried to
pull while she and the other kage were bound by the infinite tsukuyomi. Ok, so
maybe there were a few things she did still blame Sasuke for.
Naruto shuffled his feet slightly. It was not one of his fondest memories,
either.
"Sasuke has returned as a fallen hero. He no longer holds the respect that he
had as a child, and his defeat by you has taken away the mystique that he is
the strongest in the village. With all his enemies either dead or in prison, he
no longer has vengeance to support him as a goal to give purpose to his
existence. His help during the war and your decision to not seek retribution
for his final act of betrayal has kept him out of prison, but we cannot allow
him to resume missions at this point. None of the other kage trust him, and no
one in our own ranks is willing to work with him until he has managed to prove
himself loyal in some way. Giving him only low level, solo missions would only
insult his pride and further anger him. So we are left... where we are."
When word had spread that Sasuke had turned on Naruto in the final battle, the
people of Konoha and the surrounding lands had not been as ready to forgive
that transgression as they had his crimes against Danzo or even the attack on
the Kage summit. Naruto had earned not only the trust and respect of the kages,
but he was viewed as a friend. He was a hero across all five nations.
Naruto had been the first to reach out to Sasuke and trust him when he had
joined in the battle against Madara and Obito. The emotions that had flowed
through the chakra link when Naruto had shared his chakra with the allied
shinobi forces had carried Naruto's memories of grief and loss and friendship
of Sasuke. But it had been rejected by the missing nin in place of a chance to
rule with absolute authority. And Sasuke had turned on him.
Naruto had stopped him, but they had both almost died in the fight.
And now they were both 'home'. Naruto's victory felt hollow.
Naruto was surprised that Sasuke had stayed in Konoha, truth be told. But he
supposed there really wasn't anyplace left for him to go, with the Akatsuki
gone and the rest of the ninja world firmly allied with Naruto and Konoha.
There was always Orochimaru, but even Sasuke must have realized that was a bad
idea. And Orochimaru had taken up residence not far from Konoha, trying to
legitimize himself and stay out of trouble. For now. But there was no hiding
the way the man's snakelike eyes had followed Sasuke's body throughout the
battle. Sasuke may be many things, but oblivious was not one of them.
So Sasuke had stayed. He currently lived in complete isolation in the ruins of
what had once been the Uchiha clan grounds. That part of the village had never
been rebuilt after Pain's destruction of Konoha. Sasuke had paid to have his
home reconstructed from the rubble, but left the remaining buildings as they
had fallen. As the land belonged to the Uchiha clan, and Sasuke was now the
sole survivor of that clan, it was his prerogative as to what to do with it. Or
not.
Naruto snapped his attention back to Kakashi and the Hokage. "I get all this.
But why are you saying that it needs to be this... therapeutic touch thing?
Aren't there medicines or counseling or other shit that doesn't involve trying
to get close to a bastard who has literally made a trademark out of his 'back-
the-fuck-off' look?"
"We've tried that, Naruto. Don't you think we would have thought of that first?
Counseling was a complete failure. Sasuke is too intelligent to be manipulated
that way, and years of living with Orochimaru has made him able to see through
most of their approaches. He was quite clear that he didn't want to 'share his
feelings' or memories or anything with anyone. Both doctors who tried this
approach ended up running out of their offices, terrified when Sasuke had
offered to share his memories the old-fashioned Uchiha way - through his
mangekyo sharingan. We considered trying anti-depressants and anti-psychotic
medicines, but the sharingan makes his brain chemistry different from other
people's and the risk of it having a dangerous adverse effect was too high."
"And there is nothing else?"
"No. The further he is declining mentally, the more at risk we are of him
completely losing control and potentially harming others. There is significant
medical research that shows that physical contact is a key factor in improving
mental health of patients who have traumatic stress disorders. Even with
infants, they have found that babies grow faster and get sick less with more
direct contact. That's why they recommend skin on skin contact while nursing."
A rather awkward image of some random woman trying to nurse and oddly psychotic
looking Uchiha infant flashed through Naruto's mind before being repressed.
"It has also been shown in post traumatic stress disorders that physical
contact can help reduce stress and increase the overall mental stability of the
patient. Naruto... we have spent the last three months trying everything else.
It's this or incarceration. The hospital would not be able to hold him."
Naruto looked at Kakashi, who had pulled out his little orange book of porn and
appeared to be ignoring their conversation while he flipped through the pages.
"So what do you mean by physical contact? Do I just... try to hold his hand and
talk to him?" That was a mental image that Naruto could not summon. When he
thought of Sasuke's hands he thought of... chidori being punched through the
center of his chest.
Tsunade snorted as though reading his thoughts. "Somehow I don't think Uchiha
is a hand-holding kind of guy. No, nothing like that. You can try scalp
massage, or laying your hand on his arm. Any form of touching that he will
allow. Or... maybe he would talk to you."
Naruto rolled his eyes. If there was one thing he was completely certain of, it
was that Sasuke wasn't going to 'open up' to Naruto after years of fighting
him. "How about sparring? I could put my foot up his ass. That kind of physical
contact is something I would be totallycomfortable with."
Kakashi snickered. "I don't think your foot is the part of your body Sasuke
really needs shoved up his ass right now."
"Huh?" Naruto asked, slightly confused. Tsunade casually switched her sake
glass to her left hand, and with her right hand flicked Kakashi in the
forehead, sending him flying across the room.
"Never mind what Kakashi said, Naruto. You just need to go over and do what you
can to help Sasuke. From what Sakura told us, the first thing you'll probably
need to do is drown him in the tub. He hasn't been bathing, and his house is a
mess."
Naruto frowned at her words. Sasuke had always been fastidious about his
hygiene. Almost freakishly so. I mean, the guy had lived in a cave under a
mountain with snakes, and his clothes and hair had always pristine. That took
effort.
"Alright. Fine. So I just go there and... talk to him and... rub his arm or
something?"
Tsunade shrugged. "If you make it through the first day without killing each
other, I can have some of the physical therapists here teach you some actual
techniques. But there is no point in bothering with that if the minute you walk
through the door you've both got your chidori and rasengan going."
Naruto grumbled, "Stupid Sasuke. Greatest fucking ninja in five nations and he
can't even wash his ass without help."
But his words didn't fool Kakashi or Tsunade. They could hear the underlying
concern for his childhood friend. Naruto may or may not ever forgive Sasuke for
what he had done, but they knew that it was simply not in Naruto's character to
give up on his friend. No matter how shitty of a friend he had turned out to be
in the end.
Because Naruto knew why Sasuke was the way he was. He understood what had
twisted and broken the youngest Uchiha. And Naruto still on some level believed
that the young boy that had existed before fate had decided to shit all over
him still existed amongst the wreckage that he had become.
. . . .
Naruto walked through the village, trying to decide if he should stop by his
own apartment first to bathe and rest, or just go directly to Sasuke's. After
the description Tsunade had given him about the state that the Uchiha's home
was likely in, he decided bathing probably wasn't worthwhile, so he simply
grabbed a change of clothes and headed directly there.
People stopped to greet him warmly as he walked. There was no longer any
question that he would be the next Hokage. Tsunade simply wanted to wait a
couple of years until he matured a bit more, but everyone already acted like it
he was their Hokage in every way except the paperwork. The streets of his
childhood no longer existed. The buildings had been destroyed by Pain. And the
sneering, hostile faces had, too. After saving his village, even his most
hostile antagonists could no longer deny the leader he had become. Children
smiled and waved shouting out his name excitedly.
Naruto smiled tiredly, but honestly. He finally had achieved what he wanted.
And in some ways, he was at peace. But something was still missing.
He reached the edge of the re-built part of town, and his pace slowed as he
entered the Uchiha compound. The twisted wreckage of homes a reminder of Pain's
attack, but also the fact that there was no one left of the owners to rebuild.
Except for the one house that stood alone amongst the debris.
Naruto hadn't been here since Sasuke had rebuilt and moved in. He doubted many
people had. It wasn't along the main part of town, and it was quite frankly
depressing as hell. Naruto felt a small frisson of guilt for not thinking about
how Sasuke had been living since he had dragged his unconscious body home. But
he didn't have to live here. He could have chosen anywhere in town if he
wanted.
Naruto felt nerves tighten in his stomach as he approached the door and
knocked. There was no answer. Naruto placed the palm of his hand flat on the
door, checking for seals or traps, but detecting none.
Reaching for the door knob, he was surprised to find it unlocked. Taking a
breath and readying himself for attack, he pushed the door open. And stopped
dead at the sight that greeted his eyes.
Sasuke was sitting at his kitchen table, slumped over with his head resting on
his arm. The table itself was littered with empty sake bottles, some broken.
There were scorch marks in the wall, and one Sakura sized dent in the middle of
one. That was apparently where he hurled her when she tried her version of
'touch therapy' on the psychotic ninja.
Naruto wondered where she had tried to touch him, but figured he didn't want to
know.
"Sasuke?" Naruto said hesitantly.
The raven lifted his head and Naruto was met with a bleary-eyed black gaze. " -
the fck out, N'rto," the slurred voice came. Sasuke hurled an empty sake cup at
him, and Naruto had to duck his head to avoid being struck squarely between the
eyes. Even dead drunk the Uchiha had flawless aim.
"Sasuke..." Naruto took another step in, and his nose wrinkled. "Jesus, man.
You stink. When was the last time you took a shower?"
Sasuke sat up, weaving slightly in his seat as he poured himself another glass
of sake. "Fuck off," he said, slightly more clearly as he downed the glass in
one go.
Naruto just looked at him, completely at a loss for what to do. He'd never seen
Sasuke like this. As far as he knew, Sasuke had never even tried alcohol. Not
that he really knew for sure. God only knows what habits Sasuke had picked up
living with Orochimaru, then with the Akatsuki. But he knew that this was...
way beyond anything he had expected to find.
Naruto walked slowly around the house, feeling Sasuke's eyes following his
every step.
"The place is nice. A total pigsty, but nice."
Sasuke simply sneered, not bothering with a reply.
Naruto continued down the hall, somewhat surprised that Sasuke hadn't kicked
him out. Or at least tried to. He hadn't even asked Naruto what he was doing
here.
Maybe Tsunade had told him Naruto would be coming.
There were four rooms down the hallway, and Naruto felt no compunction about
opening the doors to each one and peering in. The first was clearly a spare
bedroom, with no furniture at all. The second was a bathroom. The third
appeared to be some sort of reading room, though the boxes of books and scrolls
were opened but not unpacked.
The final room was clearly Sasuke's room. There was a large bed, a dresser with
Uchiha fans on the drawer pulls, and... a huge mess. The state of it reminded
Naruto of how his room used to look when he was a twelve-year-old living alone.
The smell alone told him that Sasuke had done quite a bit of drinking in here
as well. And not changed the sheets in the past month or two.
Naruto remembered the fussy boy who would always have his bed roll tied neatly
and put away every morning before Naruto had even rolled slovenly out of his.
He could hardly believe it. This was not right. It disturbed him more than the
fact that Sasuke had apparently fireballed Sakura and hurled her into a wall.
There was a thump heard from the kitchen, and Naruto poked his head out to see
that Sasuke had passed out under his kitchen table.
. . . .
Naruto crouched down next to his fallen friend. Unconscious, Sasuke's face had
lost the hard, cold look that he had maintained even in his drunken state.
Naruto sat there for several minutes, taking the time to really look at
Sasuke's face. It had been years since he had seen the Uchiha sleeping. Back
when they had all been together on Team 7. So many years, and so many fights
had passed since then. But somehow, Sasuke's face was the same. A little older
and thinner, the baby fat long gone. But it was still the boy that had drawn
Naruto's complete and utter focus, the boy that Naruto had wanted to
acknowledge him above all else.
The boy Naruto had wanted as his best friend.
Naruto reached out to touch Sasuke's hair, something he had always wanted to
do. It was stiff and coarse from grime, clearly not having been washed in many
days. It bothered Naruto to see Sasuke in dirty clothes, with dirty hair, in a
dirty house. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Sasukewasn't supposed to be
like this.
Despite his fatigue, Naruto summoned several shadow clones. Before he washed
Sasuke, he'd need a clean place to put him. One of the clones went to try to
find clean sheets for the Uchiha's bed and bundle the rest of the dirty clothes
and linens down to have them washed.
A second clone set to work cleaning up the empty sake bottles and bringing some
level of sanitation back to the kitchen area. That left the real Naruto to deal
with Sasuke himself. "Alright, Sasuke. Let's get you cleaned up."
Naruto slid one hand under the unconscious man's shoulders, and another under
his knees, then hoisted him up and carried him into the bathroom. He stood in
the entryway of the large bathroom for a few minutes, not really sure what to
do next. The tub looked fairly clean. Either because Sasuke hadn't been using
it, or because even in his declining state a dirty tub had been just too much
for the Uchiha to stomach.
Setting Sasuke down on the floor, Naruto turned on the water and closed the
drain of the tub. He poured some of Sasuke's soap in, noting that it smelled
like sandalwood. He tested the temperature of the water, and knew he was
stalling.
He didn't really feel comfortable with what had to come next. They had bathed
together when they were younger. But that was back when they had been friends.
Which Sasuke clearly didn't consider him anymore.
Naruto took his wet hands and flicked them in Sasuke's face. "Wake up, asshole.
You stink and need to wash yourself."
Sasuke didn't move.
Naruto sighed. Sasuke was dressed in one of his grey short-sleeved shirts,
which was fully zipped up with its high collar coming up to his chin. The dark
blue pants and blue cloth he wore around his waist were stained and disheveled.
Naruto decided he would go part way, and untied the purple obi, removing the
blue cloth but not the pants. The pants needed to be washed anyway. He unzipped
Sasuke's shirt and pulled it off, earning a groan from the otherwise limp form
before he picked him up and placed him in the tub, only to quickly grip onto
Sasuke's arm as the unconscious man almost slipped beneath the water.
Sasuke must have breathed in some of the water, because he began coughing, and
his eyes opened briefly, focused on Naruto for a frozen instant, then closed
again.
"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, more than half expecting a fist to come flying at his
face. Possibly charged with chidori. He wondered how well that would work in
the tub, but assumed Sasuke knew how to avoid electrocuting himself. "You
know... it would make this a lot easier if you participated."
"Fuck you," Sasuke slurred, his eyes staying closed.
Naruto wasn't exactly sure what to do, but Tsunade had said something about
head massages. That's sort of what you do when you wash your hair anyway. Since
Sasuke's hair had already gotten wet when Naruto had almost accidentally
drowned him, he simply squirted some of the scented shampoo onto his hands,
working them together to make a lather. Sasuke must have been alert enough to
prevent himself from slipping down in the tub again, but he made no more move
to speak or open his eyes.
Naruto pressed his fingertips into the scalp at the front of Sasuke's forehead,
and slid them back into the thick, dirty, black locks, pressing down and
rubbing in small circles as he did. Sasuke breathed out, one pale hand gripping
the edge of the tub, likely to keep himself from sliding down under the water.
Dragging his fingers back to the front of Sasuke's head, he repeated the
motion, pushing even further back to the crown of Sasuke's head. A spray of
goose bumps appeared along Sasuke's neck and shoulders at the sudden release of
tension.
There was a small bathing pitcher next to the tub, and Naruto used it to pour
some additional water into Sasuke's hair to make a lather, using his other hand
to prevent the soapy water from running into Sasuke's eyes. Naruto's fingers
were strong and calloused from years of fighting, but he tried to gentle his
touch somewhat as he worked the scented soap through Sasuke's black locks,
massaging down to the scalp then tugging back on the strands. He noticed
absently that Sasuke had grown his hair out so that it covered more of his
forehead than it used to.
He slowly worked his way toward the back of Sasuke's head, until he got all the
way to the base of the neck, taking time to work through each section of
Sasuke's hair. When he had finished, he rinsed it clean. Sasuke let out a small
sigh, slowly opening his eyes. "Why?"
Naruto didn't pretend to misunderstand. "The Old Bag told me you needed a bath.
And your house is a pigsty, so I cleaned it up a bit."
Sasuke smirked. "Hn. So I get the next Hokage as my personal maid," he said,
his eyes unfocused for a minute. But then they turned hard and swirled red, the
smirk slipping away. "Now get out."
Naruto stood, assuming that if Sasuke was alert enough to activate the
sharingan, he probably could manage to finish bathing himself without drowning.
"You're welcome, asshole," Naruto said sarcastically, drying his hands on the
clean towel and throwing it on the floor next to the tub. "This is clean, and
so are the sheets on your bed. Sleep it off, and try to do something other than
drink tomorrow."
Naruto glared at Sasuke, but the man had already closed his eyes again, turning
his face slightly away toward the shower wall. "Whatever. Get out."
-xXx-
to be continued...
***** Traps *****
Warning:language, angst,mental illness, drug use, and the conscious decision to
engage in it. THIS IS A MATURE TOPIC please do not read if you are under 18.
Disclaimer - Chapter 694 has made me slightly less angry that Kishimoto owns
Naruto. Still wish 10 Rankai did, though.
Author's note - Theme song for this chapter (I guess sort of sasuke's theme
song right now) is an old Papa Roach song called 'My Last Resort'. I know I
have mentioned this before, but to me, Canon!Sasuke is very different from the
AU Sasukes that I write particularly in terms of his mental health. His family
trauma is pretty much off-the-charts in Canon, and Kishimoto has been really
clear that Sasuke has mental issues. I am not going to pretend he doesn't. So
it will be a bit rough. YOU ARE WARNED. Also thanks to Gweatherwax for
discussing with me what types of drug usage were likely to fit with Canon.
-xXx-
Naruto trudged back to his apartment after stuffing the Uchiha's laundry in the
small washing machine next to the bathroom. He'd return later to dry it if
Sasuke wouldn't. He was so tired, he was almost asleep before he unlocked his
door but somehow he managed to shower before climbing into bed. Once there,
however, he found sleep slipping from his grasp. He couldn't get the sight of
Sasuke's face out of his head. Somehow the face of the adult Sasuke was merging
with the face of the child Naruto had coveted. They two versions were linked in
a way that Naruto couldn't control, and with the blending of the images, his
emotions were entangled and twisted as well. His childhood obsession with
proving himself worthy, his willingness to sacrifice himself to protect that
boy... to do anything at all for Sasuke.
The boy who had grown into a rogue ninja that had betrayed him and tried to
kill him several times. Who seemed to place no value at all on any of their
shared past. As though they had been brief acquaintances not worth remarking.
But for Naruto, Sasuke's face and his very existence were seared into his soul.
From the day they had first met, he had been unable to take his eyes from him,
though he had thought it jealousy at the time. Over time, it had grown into
admiration and some sort of... longing. For friendship, Naruto supposed, not
really having any other name for the emotion he felt. Though it was not the
same as the friendship he felt for Gaara, or Shikamaru, or anyone else. It was
different, somehow. So much stronger, despite the number of years that had
passed.
When the Sage had said their lives had been tied together before, it had
finally seemed to make some sort of sense to Naruto. It explained the visceral
pull he had always felt for the dark-haired boy. But why was Naruto the only
one to feel this bond? Why was Sasuke able to ignore it so completely? Was the
sage wrong? Or was the bond somehow one-sided?
Naruto breathed out raggedly in frustration, the sleep he so desperately needed
slipping further from his grasp.
Maybe he really was the idiot that everyone had always claimed him to be. After
all this time, he still felt the pull of the boy. Still felt that obsession as
he looked on Sasuke's sleeping face. Naruto had accomplished so much, and was
no longer the outcast of Konoha. He was now its hero. So why did he still feel
like none if it mattered without the recognition from this one person? Why had
he not been able to outgrow his childhood fixation?
Sasuke had tried to kill him three times.
THREE.
Naruto had come to terms with the first battle at the Valley of the End. Sasuke
had been terrified that Itachi would return, and Sasuke was not getting strong
enough fast enough. He had taken a shortcut, a dangerous (and in Naruto's mind
stupid) one, but it was because Sasuke was afraid for his life and possibly
even for Naruto and Kakashi, who had also been targeted by Itachi. Kakashi had
been Sasuke's teacher, but had fallen so easily against Itachi that Naruto
understood at some level Sasuke's belief that he had needed to find a stronger
teacher. Though Naruto still disagreed with the riskiness of the choice. In the
end Sasuke had defeated Orochimaru, which in Naruto's mind wiped the slate
clean.
The second attempt had been decidedly half-hearted, and Naruto could have
easily dodged or blocked it on his own if Sai had not intervened. He could
over-look that one, too.
But this last one... could not be overlooked. Naruto had grown stronger.
Smarter. Had he not proven that in the battle they had fought side-by-side
against insurmountable odds that neither could have defeated alone? Was that
still not enough to earn Naruto some sort of recognition from Sasuke? Some
acknowledgement as an equal... a potential partner in whatever plan Sasuke was
following at the moment?
Naruto felt a twisting in his gut, a horrible leaden feeling has he remembered
the disbelief that had washed over him when - after everything they had been
through in the final battle - Sasuke had still not viewed him as a comrade,
much less a friend. Naruto's only form of acknowledgement from Sasuke had been
that he was worth fighting. Unlike Sakura or Kakashi, whom Sasuke had
disregarded as irrelevant. But that hadn't been the type of acknowledgment
Naruto had wanted.
Sasuke had viewed Naruto narrowly as yet another obstacle in his way to
achieving whatever fucked-up idea was in the Uchiha's head at the moment. Never
mind that three months later Sasuke would probably talk to someone else and
change his fucking mind again.
And that was another thing that really pissed Naruto off. Sasuke seemed to be
influenced by so many other people.
Itachi, Naruto could understand. Of course Sasuke would have believed his older
brother. But Tobi/Obito? Seriously? And then some dead Hokages, some of whom
were responsible for his clan's murder, talked to him for ten minutes and
achieved what a lifetime of begging on Naruto's part had not. All of them had
more influence over what Sasuke believed in than Naruto. People lied and
manipulated and used Sasuke. Naruto was the only one who had always been
completely honest with him, and never had any ulterior motives except just
wanting his friendship. Wanting to protect Sasuke, or at least fight by his
side. No matter what had happened, Naruto had trusted Sasuke and stood up for
him when even Sakura and the rest of their class had decided he should be
killed as a nuke nin.
But still, Sasuke had treated him as though he were just another adversary.
Why couldn't Naruto hate him? Why had Naruto instead told Tsunade that he
wouldn't agree to any charges held against Sasuke for their final battle?
Why did the sight of Sasuke's face and the feel of his hair in Naruto's fingers
linger in his mind and keep him from sleep?
Naruto was briefly glad that the side effect of having Kurama ripped from his
body then imprisoned by Sasuke before being re-sealed had left the fox
temporarily dormant within him. He could just imagine what the old fox would
have to say about this.
The thought brought a half-smile to Naruto's lips, allowing him to finally
drift off to sleep. Though his dreams were laced with a feeling contempt for
his own weakness for this one man, who evidently never cared about him at all.
-xXx-
Sasuke woke, surprised for a moment to find himself in a clean bed, wearing
clean clothes. He looked around his room, noticing his dirty clothes were no
longer in sight. His head was pounding, but he was used to it. It was a small
price to pay for the oblivion that alcohol brought. It was part of the reason
that Sasuke had started experimenting with other ways of killing his thoughts.
That reminded Sasuke that he was running low on sake. But at least the little
jar he kept in with the spices in the kitchen was mostly full.
He hated leaving his house. He hated living in the village. The guarded stares,
the disapproving glances, the lustful leers. He hated them all. Who were they
to judge or admire him? What did they know? They'd lived in ignorance while his
clan was slaughtered, enjoying the peace and safety of the village without
being aware of the heavy price that others had paid for it. Sasuke hated them
for their unquestioning acceptance of the contrived story of events that was
fed to them.
All the images of dislike and distrust that he saw through his brother's eyes
that were now his. The eyes of the man who had arguably suffered the most,
villainized by the very people he had sacrificed himself to protect. Every
morning that Sasuke looked in the mirror, he was met with Itachi's eyes. He was
swamped with the reality of living with the eyes of the brother he had loved.
The brother he had killed.
He walked to the bathroom, avoiding looking at the mirror, and a memory flashed
across his mind - Naruto, leaning over him in the bath. Strong, tan fingers
scrubbing his hair clean.
Had it been real?
Yes. But why? What had Naruto wanted with him? Why had he come to his home?
After all these months of ignoring me. Avoiding me.
Sasuke didn't want Naruto here. Not now. Not like this. He wasn't ready. He
wouldn't be judged. He didn't need the Hero of fucking Konoha there to pity
him. Or try to 'save' him.
Though Naruto had stopped saying things like that after the fight had started
in earnest. Why did Sasuke remember the way Naruto's eyes had dimmed, then
hardened when Sasuke had made it clear he intended to kill Naruto and all the
tailed beasts?
It didn't matter.
None of it matters now.
But he didn't like that his former teammate had entered his home uninvited.
Sasuke wanted his privacy. It was the whole reason he had rebuilt his home
amidst the rubble of the Uchiha compound. Sasuke realized he had become lax
about setting the seals around his home. This was Uchiha land. No one but him
was allowed here. The blood of his clan had soaked into the soil. This was what
he would remember. This was what was left of his legacy.
So much blood.
But Naruto hadn't come to visit Sasuke's memorial to his clan. Why had he come?
To rub it in? To chastise him for what had happened with Sakura? To 'talk' with
him?
Bullshit.
Sasuke didn't care. Naruto had come. Now Sasuke would go to him.
-xXx-
Sasuke had entered Naruto's small apartment through the bedroom window that
Naruto had foolishly left open.
And this is the future Hokage?Sasuke thought, sneering down at the man sleeping
sprawled out in his narrow bed.
The sheet covered Naruto's hips and thighs, but everything else was exposed. It
was clear that Naruto had just returned from a mission. His chakra levels were
still low. And he was exhausted, judging by the way he slept flat on his back
without moving, not noticing the presence of a potential enemy in the room.
Sasuke stood there, watching Naruto sleep.
He could kill him now. It would be possible that no one would know it was him.
Stupid. Everyone would know. You are the only enemy left alive that could kill
him. They'd know it was you.
Still, Sasuke considered it. He had nothing to gain from Naruto's death
anymore. That opportunity had passed. The bijuu were now safely out of his
reach.
But it bothered him. Why could he never kill this person? What was it about
Naruto that always made him hold back at the last minute? Sasuke had not held
back when he had fought Itachi. The brother Sasuke had loved and admired more
than anyone else.
But he hadn't been able to kill Naruto, despite having had three chances to do
so. Well, two at least. Naruto had grown stronger by the third and final time,
and Sasuke hadn't had to hold back in battle. The third time, it had been
Naruto who had held back from the kill.
Still, Sasuke wondered if he really could have done it, had the opportunity
presented itself at the time. Part of him had wanted to know. He didn't
understand why this one tie had proven so difficult to break.
He didn't understand what Naruto could possibly want from him. He had never
understood it.
Naruto had said wanted to be Sasuke's brother at one point. Wanted Sasuke to
trust him like family.
Family. Like Sasuke's parents who had been leading the plot to revolt against
the village, who never told him about what they were doing, despite the rest of
the clan knowing. Who ignored the warnings of a possible pre-emptive strike by
Anbu if they continued their plans. Who put their own ambitions above the lives
of the Uchiha clan.
Family. Like his brother who kept his allegiance secret, slaughtering their
entire clan to 'save' Sasuke, while at the same time burdening him with the
heavy guilt of being the only Uchiha left untouched, of having the
responsibility to avenge his entire clan against the one person he had idolized
above all others without knowing the truth until it was too late.
Family. Like Obito, who had claimed he wanted to help Sasuke, when in truth he
was only planning to deliver him to Kabuto as payment for the edo tenseijutsu
to create an army of resurrected ninjas.
Family. Like Madara who cut him down in battle without a second thought, who
only considered him as a potential source of ocular power until his own
rinnegan were retrieved.
Why would Sasuke want more family? Why would a claim of 'brotherhood' imply
that Sasuke should somehow trust or believe in Naruto? His own blood relatives
had betrayed him. Misled him. Left him. Why would he ever trust anyone else,
where the bond could only be weaker?
No. He would never understand why Naruto valued such a claim. Sasuke certainly
didn't. He knew already what the value and worthiness of those bonds were.
Sasuke found his gaze fixed on Naruto's sleeping form, sweeping over the
broader shoulders and muscled chest that had replaced the child's body he
remembered in their youth.
He has no scars. Even from where my hand passed through his chest. It's like it
never happened.
It bothered Sasuke. There should be a mark from their battles. Sasuke had
scars. Though the worst wounds were unseen, as Itachi had taught him.
Itachi.Sasuke brushed his fingers over his eyes. Itachi's eyes.
He felt the familiar anger boiling up inside him. Once it had fuelled and
focused him. Now it made him feel impotent. He had been robbed of his revenge
against the council. Hiding safely away from any danger of getting caught up in
the frontline fighting, the council had instead been caught in one of the
random tailed-beast bombs that the Juubi had fired off before Obito had gained
control as the Juubi's Jinchuuriki.
When Sasuke had found out about their deaths, the senseless and accidental way
that the focus of his hatred had been wiped out without any assistance on his
part, laughter had bubbled out despite himself. He had laughed uncontrollably
for almost five minutes. It was so funny... all their plotting and scheming and
machinations. And they were vaporized in a random blast aimed at nothing. In a
way, it was incredibly fitting. Their deaths went almost unremarked given the
drama and broader tragedy of the war. And they had died hiding, a cloud of
scandal firmly shrouding them.
Still, Sasuke would have preferred to slice them open himself and have them die
bleeding and begging his forgiveness at his feet. But now that would never
happen.
What did he want now?
Sasuke's aspiration to be Hokage was over. Naruto would be the next Hokage.
Sasuke had lost.
His stomach tightened as the truth of those words settled in on him. They both
would achieve the 'dreams' of their youth. Sasuke had killed his brother,
though that victory lay bitter on his soul.
And Naruto would become Hokage. Already he was viewed as Hokage in all but
name.
How had that happened? How had the awkward, Dead Last that Sasuke remembered
turn into the powerful shinobi sleeping in front of him?
Though he hadn't really been dead last. He had been trying to control an
immense chakra that was not his own through an imperfect seal. Once Jiraya had
fixed things, Naruto's power had rapidly built.
So rapidly that he was leaving you behind.
Had it mattered to Sasuke back then? Sasuke tried to remember. It felt like
centuries ago.
Yes. It had mattered. Naruto had... mattered.
Not like a brother. Not like family.
Rivals, Naruto had called them. Staring at the sleeping shinobi, Sasuke tested
the word in his mind. Were they rivals? Was that what he felt when he was with
Naruto?
Maybe. He felt something. He had always felt something. When he looked at
Naruto he wanted to... do... something. Always. To fight. To hold Naruto's
attention. To make Naruto chase him.
Sasuke had hated Sakura. She had distracted Naruto. Naruto was supposed to
focus on Sasuke. Not Sakura.
He took a step towards Naruto's sleeping form. He could kill him now, while he
was unconscious in sleep. But somehow... that was not what he wanted.
Sasuke's gaze went again to the smooth skin across Naruto's torso. He wanted to
mark it. He hadmarked it. The demon had erased the mark, as though revoking
Sasuke's claim on the blond.
Sasuke felt an anger stir. Kyuubi had no right to erase his mark.
Without realizing it, Sasuke's hand reached out, his fingertips brushing along
the unmarred flesh across Naruto's breastbone.
A tan hand viced around his wrist, and Sasuke felt his gaze locked by piercing
blue orbs.
Sasuke didn't attempt to withdraw his hand. He would not act as though he had
no right to touch the body that should have still born his mark. Sasuke's body
still bore the scars that Naruto had left. Their gazes locked, both
unflinching.
Finally, it was Naruto who spoke. "What are you doing here?"
Sasuke showed no expression on his face. "You came into my home without an
invitation. Don't do it again."
Naruto flung Sasuke's hand aside, sitting up, and pulling the sheet to be sure
it still covered his lap.
"Take care of yourself and I won't have to. You're too powerful a shinobi for
Tsunade to just let you go on a drunken rampage whenever you want," Naruto said
calmly.
Sasuke hated this new, calm Naruto. Hated that Naruto had not called him
bastard or teme or any of the words he used to use.
"So that's the only reason you came into my house? Because Tsunade ordered you
to, to keep me from hurting anyone else?"
Naruto hesitated. He had been avoiding Sasuke, trying to make sense of what he
felt and deal with the anger and his own sense of failure of never being able
to reach Sasuke or seemingly influence him in any way. But Naruto knew that
Sasuke would not be interested in hearing about that. After all, hadn't Naruto
spent years talking about his bond with Sasuke and his desire to be his friend?
Naruto finally understood that Sasuke simply did not care about that, so he
would stick with the piece that Sasuke would respect. A direct order from a
superior.
"Tsunade's job is to protect Konoha. Even from its own citizens. From hurting
others or yourself. She asked me to check on you, so I did." Naruto didn't
think now was the time to disclose exactly what Tsunade had said. He'd find out
today whether this little experiment was even going to continue or not, and
he'd try to talk to Sasuke about it then, once he understood it better himself.
The silence stretched.
"Fine," Sasuke said at last, his voice reflecting none of the anger and turmoil
that was washing over him. He turned fluidly and left, this time using the door
rather than the window.
Naruto sat there, frozen, watching him go and wondering why he felt like he had
somehow missed something. Somehow made a mistake.
It had been unsettling to wake and find Sasuke in his bedroom, touching him.
Unconsciously, Naruto's hand drifted to the point on his chest where Sasuke's
fingers had rested. The skin there tingled slightly. He wondered if Sasuke had
been thinking of using chidori. No one else's touches made his skin react like
that. It must be Sasuke's lightning affinity.
He looked at the clock and realized he had overslept. He was supposed to go to
Tsunade and report what had happened last night. And this morning.
-xXx-
Sasuke ignored the villagers as he made his way from Naruto's apartment. Since
he was already in town, he stopped and purchased more sake, ignoring the
knowing look that the storekeeper gave him. He didn't care what people thought.
Tsunade was a lush and they made her Hokage.
Naruto had come because Tsunade had ordered him to. It made sense. It was
logical.
Of course there was no other reason that Naruto would come. So why did the
words come as almost a surprise? Why did they make him angry?
Sasuke thought again of the smooth, tan skin on Naruto's chest. The warmth and
hardness of the flesh against his fingers. He felt a coiling in his gut, a
tension that seemed an even more amplified of the sensation that he had always
felt around the blond. As always, it left him feeling tense, unsettled, and
aggressive. In the past, this feeling had driven his need to compete, to spar,
to... to... Sasuke didn't know what.
Something.
Somehow that feeling was even stronger now, as an adult. Especially now that he
didn't have other things demanding his attention.
But Naruto wouldn't be coming to spar with him. They were no longer teammates.
Sasuke was no longer a Konoha ninja. He was a civilian until Tsunade deemed
otherwise.
All of Sasuke's goals had either been achieved or destroyed. And the village he
had once served had no use for him.
He no longer served a purpose.
Shinobi were tools. But what was a tool when no one wanted to wield it anymore?
Sasuke's entire life had revolved around pushing himself past his limits to
reach his goals. But now he had no goal. There was nothing for him to focus on,
to strive for. All that was left were the memories, doubts and 'what-ifs' that
now haunted his waking moments. Vengeance had been a constant in Sasuke's life.
It had fuelled him and driven away the anguish of actually facing his past.
The only other constant in Sasuke's life had been Naruto. Even when they had
been separated, Sasuke could feel Naruto's focus on him as though it were a
living thing. Even if he went years without seeing the blond, he had known that
he was in Naruto's every thought, that Naruto was pushing himself just as
Sasuke had kept pushing. They might not have been together, but they had still
been connected as though by an invisible thread.
Now even that was gone.
Sasuke was no longer Naruto's focus. The Hokage had had to order Naruto to even
visit him.
He reached his home, this time taking care to lock and trap the door.
He put away the alcohol, not bothering to pour himself a glass. He had other
plans. He needed something stronger than alcohol.
He walked to his kitchen, taking out a jar of a sticky, black substance. The
man who sold Sasuke the alcohol had a supply of it under a floorboard in the
shop's storage room. He was not the only ninja in Konoha wanting to escape his
thoughts. Many of the Sound nins had used it, as most had things in their past
that they were trying to forget from homes far away or completely destroyed.
Poppies grew in fields all over the Sound. Sasuke had never understood the
appeal at the time. Why would you willingly put yourself at such a disadvantage
both physically and mentally?
But he understood it better now. He smiled bitterly.
Though he was new to the black substance, he already knew its effects. The good
and the bad. He was not an addict. He was careful. He only allowed himself to
use a small amount every other day. And when the jar was gone, he had promised
himself he would not buy more.
It was just temporary, until he decided what to do.
He lit the flame and brought out a small silver plate that he held with a pair
of tongs. He didn't purchase a pipe, even though he knew that was the most
convenient and efficient way to use the substance. But a pipe would imply a
permanence of the habit. Sasuke was not an addict. He would finish the jar,
then it would be done.
His hand shook slightly in anticipation as he took a bead of the tar and
dropped it onto the hot metal, vaporizing it. Sasuke drew a deep breath,
feeling the drug slowly numb his mind, the now-familiar euphoria starting to
build, shutting out all else, wiping his mind clean.
Yeeessssss.
Sasuke leaned back on the cushion, letting his head fall back. He had worked
with Kabuto and Orochimaru enough to know the side effects of the drug.
It effected the central nervous system, which meant that extended use would
permanently damage his reflexes as well as his cognitive abilities. Before now,
he would never have even considered it. His body and his mind had been fully
under his control, his path to destroying his enemies and avenging his clan.
But now he had no goals. And the bliss, artificial though it was, was surely
better than the slow drowning in memories of things lost. Or worse, moments
where he could spend time revisiting what would have happened if he had chosen
differently.
If he had not killed Itachi.
If he had not left the village.
If he had not tried to kill Naruto.
Naruto.
Sasuke's blood heated in an unfamiliar way as images of Naruto's naked skin
swirled through Sasuke's hazed mind. He felt that coil of tension again in his
stomach, and somehow it seeped lower.
He didn't understand his body's response but it didn't matter. Sasuke drew
another deep breath of the sweet, heavy smoke. His entire body relaxed.
Nothing mattered right now.
-xXx-
to be continued...
So I just want to say that Sasuke is falling into a very dangerous trap. I had
a friend who was a graduate student at an ivy league university and was working
on a thesis under one of the most famous professors in the department as the
star of the group. He thought he was too smart and too disciplined to ever be
an addict or get into trouble with it. He died of a heroin overdose at the age
of 23. He'd been using for a few years. He was smart as hell, but it didn't
make him any less dead. Heroine and other opium derivatives are seriously
scary. It's not like alcohol or weed (which have their own associated issues,
but it's really NOT THE SAME). This story will have a happier ending, but my
description of Sasuke's drug use and how he views it is based on my friend, and
how he slid into it, so it's a little personal and raw.
***** Truths *****
Author's note - Ok, so just to clear up a bit on the age/sexual experience
thing. In the manga during the 'final battle', Naruto and Sasuke are like 17.
YOUNG. And Kurama made a point just before the battle that Sasuke was still the
only person Naruto had kissed (despite my deeply held believe that Naruto
totally got it on with the first Menma and also Sora), so he is VERY
inexperienced, but well-read (thanks to Jiraya). Sasuke has also apparently
never been closer with anyone than Naruto, so he is even more inexperience and
not well-read. Sasuke's virginity I can buy more because it is not uncommon for
people with PTSD or depression to have total loss of libido. Naruto's... is a
bit more of a stretch for me since usually people who are 'attention seekers'
do this sexually as well when the opportunity arrives, and after saving the
village from Pain Naruto probably could have banged his way through half the
village but for some reason Kishi has kept him pure. And since I am trying to
write full-on Canon with no plot divergence (up to 693), then I have to abide
by that. They are both trying to reconcile their childhood feelings with their
'adult' feelings, and it is a bit confusing because they HAD a physical
(violent) relationship and there are similarities between sex and violence,
lust and hatred. And they are both emotionally crippled, though in different
ways. So that is why their courtship here is going to feel so f*cked up. But
this is just how I see them. I mean, if they were ANY LESS clueless about their
sexuality, there is no way they would both still be virgins given the lives
they have led.
-xXx-
Naruto stood staring at the door that Sasuke had just exited for several
minutes. It was the first time since Sasuke had been back in the village that
he had come to his house. Evidently broken into his house. Somehow, that sent a
dark thrill down Naruto's spine. The fact that Sasuke had come, not only
without Naruto asking him to do so, but that Sasuke had been so intent on
coming that he had actually forced his way in illicitly to... see Naruto.
Naruto brushed his fingers again over the place on his chest where Sasuke's
fingers had rested. Somehow, instead of dissipating, the residual heat from the
touch seemed to grow.
He closed his eyes and briefly recalled the cold perfection of Sasuke's face
staring down at Naruto's chest when he had awoken at the unfamiliar sensation
of someone touching his body while he slept. Normally, Naruto would have roused
at the slightest sound or sense of an unfamiliar chakra source entering his
home, but he had been utterly exhausted and evidently not heard Sasuke enter.
Though Sasuke's chakra signature was not unfamiliar. And no matter how much
history had tried to teach him otherwise, Naruto never was able to really
consider Sasuke an enemy. More like... an incredibly dangerous and
unpredictable friend.
Considering Sasuke's skills, it was possible Naruto wouldn't have woken even if
he had not been so exhausted. And somehow that thought sent another chill of
almost... anticipation through Naruto. He didn't gloss over Sasuke's dark side
like so many of his fangirls did. He knew that Sasuke was capable of cruelty
and tremendous violence. He didn't try to deny that, or make it out to be
somehow untrue. Because he understood the reasons behind it, and he found it
somehow... compelling. He had always had a deep fascination with Sasuke, what
he did and why he did it. It was, in part, the darkness within Sasuke that drew
Naruto.
And he knew that on some level, Sasuke had always known this. Where Sasuke
would deride Sakura and other of his fangirls saying that they liked him only
for the shallowest of reasons, Sasuke had never made that claim about Naruto.
He knew that Naruto's friendship was not based on looks or prestige. Naruto
didn't try to make Sasuke something that he wasn't. Not really. Not entirely.
Because Naruto understood all too well how close he had come at one point to
giving in to that same darkness that was inside himself. But his desire to win
Sasuke's acknowledgement had somehow replaced his desire to act on the darkness
that had grown inside him from the callous treatment of the village. Sasuke had
kept Naruto from giving in to his darkness by giving him something he had
wanted to pursue even more than revenge.
And part of what drove Naruto now was the fact that he had not been able to
return the favor. Sasuke had chosen revenge over him.
But Naruto still felt the pull he had always felt towards Sasuke. It wasn't his
looks, but it was his intensity, his brokenness, his strength.
Though... Naruto opened his eyes, surprised to realize he was slightly hard,
skin still tingling from where Sasuke had touched his naked chest. ...though he
had to admit Sasuke's looks were compelling, too. There was something about the
ruthless beauty of the man, so cold and hard, yet almost... delicate... in his
perfection. It was this dichotomy perhaps that was part of the overall mystique
of Sasuke. So dangerous and powerful. But with a face almost ethereal in
beauty.
Naruto shook his head. What the fuck was he thinking about? Sasuke had come
into his bedroom, and could probably have killed him in his sleep. Instead of
worrying about that, Naruto was mooning over his pretty face and getting hard
like a girl. Well... not like... a girl since he was... hard.
Completely annoyed with himself, Naruto decided to write the whole thing off to
surprise and morning wood. He couldn't possibly deal with anything else. All
other options just made everything infinitely more complicated than he was
prepared to deal with.
. . . . .
Naruto arrived thirty minutes late to Tsunade's office, and found her tapping
her fingers in annoyance on her desk at his tardiness.
"I was wondering if Sasuke had trapped you in a genjutsu when you went to see
him. But evidently you survived your first visit," the Hokage said, her eyes
assessing his complete health. Everyone else who had attempted to visit the
last remaining Uchiha had come away with not insignificant damage to their
person. Naruto had not, and Tsunade began to realize that there could be merit
in Kakashi's idea.
Naruto shifted on his feet. "No, he was fine. A little out of it, but..."
"Tell me exactly what happened, and what you did. We need to keep track of his
mental health, and right now you are the only one who can witness it without
setting him off."
Naruto was torn between worry that Tsunade evidently felt Sasuke was such a
risk that this type of monitoring was required, and... pride?... that he was
the only one Sasuke would allow to do so. Not Sakura. Not Kakashi. NOT Sakura.
Somehow that... pleased him tremendously. He pushed the slightly selfish
thought down, feeling a little guilty. He knew how desperately Sakura wanted to
be the one to 'be there' for Sasuke. Though she was ready enough to give up on
him after he joined Akatsuki and attacked the Kage summit. Naruto realized
Tsunade was losing patience with him again, and refocused.
"Well, when I got there he was just... sitting at his kitchen table," Naruto
paused, not really want to rat Sasuke out by saying that he had been drunk off
his ass. Though given Tsunade's own weakness, he suspected she would be more
sympathetic than not.
"And what was his condition?" she pressed.
"Well, he had been... drinking a bit, I guess," Naruto mumbled, then rallied.
"But he was still totally in control. He threw a cup right at my head and it
would have hit me dead on if I hadn't dodged."
Naruto paused, realizing that this might not actually be a point in Sasuke's
favor when Tsunade's eyes narrowed.
"So he was basically drunk off his ass and attacked you," Tsunade said, her
voice hard.
"No! I mean, he knew I could dodge it. Seriously, Tsunade, just flicking a cup
at me is hardly an attack. Especially coming from Sasuke. When he attacks, it's
like... not subtle."
Tsunade's lips twitched, whether from annoyance or amusement, Naruto wasn't
sure.
"Ok, brat. So he didn't all-out attack you, but he was drunk."
Naruto fidgeted, but didn't respond.
Tsunade sighed, realizing she wasn't going to get Naruto to admit to Sasuke's
state of mind. "Ok, so after he threw the cup at you, what happened?"
Naruto perked up, slightly more confident at this part of his report. "I made a
couple of clones, and cleaned up his place and helped him take a bath."
This time Tsunade blinked. "You... bathed him?" Kakashi was much more correct
than she could ever have hoped. She bit the inside of her lip to keep a snicker
from bubbling out at the earnest look on Naruto's face. Like this was perfectly
normal. Living so long with Jiraya, she was surprised that Naruto had a shred
of innocence left, but she supposed there was a difference between hearing (or
reading) about something and actually experiencing it. Her guess was that
Naruto had been so scarred by the long-time rejection of the village that he
had been afraid to let anyone get that close to him, despite numerous people
clearly being more than willing. Part of the price of having a monster living
inside you. Again, Tsunade found herself cursing the short-sightedness of the
Third Hokage.
Naruto nodded. "One of my clones cleaned up his bedroom and changed the sheets,
another cleaned up the kitchen, and I helped him into the tub."
"And he... was conscious? He let you?"
Naruto shrugged. "He just looked at me and... told me to fuck off and get out.
Then I left." Naruto decided it best not to mention Sasuke had activated the
Sharingan. He hadn't attacked with it, so it didn't really count.
"And then he came to my apartment this morning to see me."
Had Tsunade not already been slightly overwhelmed by the idea of the little
Uchiha allowing someone to help him bathe, she would have shown more surprise
at the prickly recluse actually bothering to seek anyone out.
"And what did he want to know?"
"Just why I had been there to see him... why I had helped him."
Tsunade's breath caught. "And what did you tell him, Gaki?"
"That... you had ordered me to, to be sure he wasn't a safety risk to himself
or the village."
Damn. Tsunade thought. "Baka. You should have told him the truth."
Naruto scowled, still having the niggling feeling himself that he had messed
that up that morning. "It WAS the truth, baa-chan. I would not have gone to his
place if you hadn't told me to."
That was at least partially true. If Tsunade had not told Naruto that Sasuke
was becoming unstable... well... MORE unstable, he would not have gone. But if
she had simply told Naruto that Sasuke needed his help, but not ordered him to
go, would he still have gone? Naruto shifted, the answer coming immediately to
his mind. Yes. Yes and goddamn himself a thousand times for being an idiot, but
yes. He would always go if Sasuke needed him, even if the asshole never
actually wanted his help.
Tsunade was watching the flicker of emotions play over Naruto's ever expressive
face, and realized that she didn't need to tell the boy the truth. He clearly
already realized it, but didn't like it. Well, that was fine. Neither did she.
She had hoped Naruto would find happiness with Hinata, or one of the villagers
who would support him and show him kindness for the years of neglect and abuse
he had suffered. But somehow, Naruto had long ago chosen a boy who was possibly
not capable of giving him that, but needed Naruto more than anyone.
She sighed. These sorts of things weren't up to her anyway. They days of forced
marriage to breed stronger bloodlines were faded. And in her heart, all she
wanted was for Naruto to find happiness, in a way that Dan and Nawaki should
have, but had been denied. It was this one final mission that kept her feeling
bound here. The war was over, she had trained her successors. Naruto would be
the next Hokage, and Sakura had learned all her medical arts. But this one last
thing, finally to have someone she cared deeply for find happiness... this she
needed in order to feel complete.
And if that meant letting the Uchiha claim Naruto's heart, then she would just
have to allow it, though everything inside her screamed for Naruto to have
chosen differently. Even the Kazekage would have been better, though he had his
own tortured past, and it would have complicated Naruto's succession as Hokage.
"Naruto. Sasuke has completely detached himself from every contact in his life,
with the possible exception of you. If you tell him you have no interest in him
except in following my orders, what do you think he will do with that final
bond? You are the only one he will talk to."
"Hmmm," Naruto hummed a bit noncommittally, feeling guilty. "He didn't talk
much, but... I guess I'll... not make it clear that it isn't that I don't want
to help him. And he wasn't drunk this morning. He seemed his usual self."
Naruto stopped at that. Honestly, the way Sasuke had stared at him had NOT
really seemed like his normal self. But it hadn't seemed crazy either. Or
particularly dangerous. Just... intense.
"Well, I think it is worth proceeding with the plan. I am going to instruct you
on some basic techniques. I want you to go over to his house today and discuss
it with him. I don't think he will simply allow you to touch him without some
sort of explanation. But even if he disagrees with this approach, just having
some sort of connection with someone will help. Let him set the pace for how he
wants to interact, and how he wants to proceed, unless he refuses to allow you
in altogether."
"Didn't the people who tried this before ever explain anything to him?" Naruto
said incredulously. Surely no one was that stupid to try to corner Sasuke in
his home and start groping him.
"It never got that far," Tsunade said drily. "Generally they didn't make it
through the front door."
Naruto shrugged, not really surprised. Even before Sasuke was crazy, he was not
exactly a friendly guy.
"Ok, so what exactly am I supposed to do?"
Tsunade pulled out a diagram of the human body. "You are already familiar with
the concept of pressure points. There are three kind: muscular, nerve, and
chakra. In combat, targeting nerve or chakra pressure points are the most
effective, though even muscular ones can do damage, particularly the heart and
diaphragm. It is similar in this case. Specialists in massage therapy will
target points where you have both nerve and muscular pressure points in the
same location, such as the arch of the foot, the back of the knees, the base of
the neck. There are eleven of these spots, circled here in red." Naruto
accepted the diagram that Tsunade gave him, glancing at where they were, but
not really needing to. These were in general the places he was already trained
to target his Taijutsu attacks.
"Ok. So I know where these spots are already," Naruto said. "But... I'm
assuming I don't try to hit him there, so what I just... rub his foot?"
Tsunade glared. "Not 'rub'. You use your thumb or heel of your hand to press in
small circular motions. You need to activate the nerve and muscle node to
release the endorphins and cause the vascular response, not just apply friction
to the skin. There are various techniques for doing this, but the basic idea is
don't press so hard that it bruises, and don't press so lightly that you don't
do anything."
Naruto looked at the diagram again, trying to imagine himself actually doing
this to Sasuke. He really couldn't. The foot, the knee, the neck, below the
shoulder blade, the groin... Naruto choked slightly and looked a bit
frantically at Tsunade. "I don't have to do allof these, right?"
She managed not to laugh when she saw that Naruto had finally noticed where
they all were. "No, Baka. Just agree to try one or two, and we can see if there
is any effect. Let Sasuke decide what he's comfortable with. With most
patients, the endorphins help decrease the effects of the depression, and the
increase in vascular flow to the muscles helps decrease some of the effects of
anxiety. But as I've explained, due to the blood limit characteristics of the
Sharingan, the brain chemistry of the Uchiha clan is not the same. We don't
actually know what will work and what won't. This might have no effect at all,
but it is safer to start here while we do more research before we try synthetic
chemicals. And who knows. Maybe just having someone to talk to will help. There
will be no silver bullet for mental disorders, even inpatients without the
complication of the sharingan. All we are trying to do is get just a bit more
control of the situation. In the end, it will be up to Sasuke to find himself
out of the emotional hole he has dug."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "This doesn't sound very scientific. But I'll talk to
Sasuke. See what he thinks about all this."
Tsunade shrugged. "Just remember. If he gets any more out of control, we will
have to imprison him. He can't choose to just do nothing and continue on this
downward spiral. He is simply too dangerous to be left alone."
Naruto sighed and nodded.
"Oh, and Baa-chan... you can tell Kakashi that the next time he wants to know
what is happening, he can just stay in the room like a normal person. I could
sense his chakra since I walked in here."
With that Naruto left. Kakashi appeared in a poof of mist. "Well, he's
definitely gotten better at being able to sense me," the silver-haired man
said, smirking beneath his mask.
Tsunade looked at him for a minute. "Have you been monitoring the Uchiha?"
"As much as I can, but I can't get close. I can tell you that he activated his
chakra, probably his sharingan, last night when Naruto was there. But there
were no attacks. After Naruto left, Sasuke slept longer than he has since he
returned to the village. It's baby steps, but it's a good sign."
Tsunade nodded. Then sighed as she saw the mountain of paperwork waiting for
her on her desk.
"Shizune! I need sake!" she bellowed.
Kakashi simply pulled his little orange book from his pocket and puffed away
for some privacy.
Everyone had their vices.
-xXx-
Naruto made his way through the village. He didn't really know how to feel
about this. Part of him reveled in the fact that Sasuke appeared to finally
need him, even if the bastard hadn't admitted it yet. Tsunade had tried to send
other people. Normal, more qualified people. And they had all failed. But - at
least so far - Naruto hadn't failed. That had to mean something, didn't it?
Lost in thought, Naruto didn't hear his name being called until he felt a
strong hand fall on his shoulder.
"Naruto!"
He snapped his head up to see a familiar pair of green eyes, with slightly
singed pink hair. Sakura's left arm was still in a sling, but other than that
she seemed fine.
"Hey, Sakura-chan. I heard about what happened. Are you alright?"
To his surprise, she blushed. "Yeah. I'm fine. I guess I got... a little
carried away."
Naruto really wanted to ask what she had done, but her embarrassed expression
made him back off. He knew her feelings for Sasuke made her do dumb things. In
that one way, at least, perhaps they were similar.
"I just wanted to say that... I hope you are able to help him. I realized that
I just... I will never be able to reach him. I just don't really understand
him. But I think maybe you do. Just be careful." With that, she gave him a
slightly awkward hug (due to her arm being in a sling).
"Thanks," Naruto said, scratching his head somewhat awkwardly. It felt like
Sakura was giving him her blessing for something, but that was silly, because
all he was doing was trying to implement a treatment that Tsunade had ordered.
"Well, I need to get going. Tsunade gave me instructions for what try next
so..."
For some reason, Sakura's blush intensified. She didn't meet his gaze but just
nodded her head. "Ok, well... keep me posted on how things... go."
She turned and walked briskly away, her face burning. I will never understand
what makes girls blush,Naruto decided. But he didn't have the mental energy to
spend on that today. He turned his feet toward the Uchiha Clan grounds.
. . . . .
When he reached Sasuke's house, he found the door locked. Naruto knocked.
"Bastard. You home?"
"No," came the sarcastic but somehow amused reply.
"Ok, well, since you're not home, can I come in and rob you?" Naruto said, his
mood lifting at the hint of amusement he had heard in the smooth voice. It had
been years since he had heard Sasuke say something that sounded like a joke.
Even a single-syllable one.
"If you can get in without blowing yourself up, be my guest," Sasuke's rich,
disembodied voice floated out. There was something about his voice that seemed
a little strange to Naruto. It carried none of the tension and anger that he
was used to hearing.
Taking Sasuke's warning at face value, Naruto scanned the door and front window
for traps and quickly disabled them. Not wanting to break the lock on Sasuke's
front door, Naruto instead just shoved the window open and climbed in.
"If you're going to let me in, you might as well give me a key so I don't have
to break your lock or climb in a window when you can't be bothered to get your
lazy ass up off the floor," Naruto grumbled, looking at Sasuke lounging on a
futon on the floor of his living room, surrounded by a series of cushions.
Naruto was relieved to see no sign of the sake bottles... no scent of alcohol.
There was a faint trace of a heavy, sweet scent that Naruto didn't recognize,
but assumed to be some sort of incense.
Naruto looked at Sasuke's face and felt... almost shock. Sasuke was reclined
back on a folded futon with red and black cushions. His shirt was unzipped
midway down his chest, and a light sheen of sweat glistened on his skin.
Sasuke's face was relaxed, open, almost... happy-looking. Naruto had never seen
Sasuke look this unguarded, even in their youth.
"Are you... you look really happy today," Naruto said cautiously, not really
sure what else to say. Or what to make of the mood Sasuke seemed to be in.
Sasuke smiled a slow, lopsided grin that caused Naruto's stomach to do a slow
flip.
"I feel really good right now," Sasuke said, letting his head fall back and his
eyes drift closed.
Naruto felt his hands break out in a sweat at the sight. Sasuke looked...
erotic.
Naruto swallowed, feeling heat pool into his groin at the sight. Oh, no. No,
no, no, no... I can NOT be feeling this way about him. Not him. Not this.
In the recesses of his mind, he though he heard a familiar mocking chuckle from
Kurama, but Naruto wasn't sure if it was just his imagination or if the wild
spike of what Naruto was quite sure was lust had caused the ancient being to
stir.
"Are you... were you drinking this morning?" Naruto asked, trying to make some
sort of sense of what was going on.
Sasuke's eyes opened, and his gaze latched on Naruto. "You look nervous, Dobe."
There was a lazy, mocking tone to Sasuke's voice that did nothing to reduce the
heat Naruto felt. But something was off about Sasuke. He didn't look drunk like
last night but he seemed... different.
"Answer the question, Sasuke," Naruto said, his voice taking on an edge. He
wasn't a little boy anymore, and was used to giving commands.
"Nope. I haven't had anything to drink since you stripped me and put me in the
tub," Sasuke said.
'Nope'? Did Sasuke just say 'nope'? Sasuke never says 'nope'. Naruto licked his
lips in nervousness. Sasuke's eyes followed the motion.
"So you came back again," Sasuke said, his eyes still focused on Naruto's
mouth.
"Um... yeah. Tsunade -" Naruto paused as he saw Sasuke frown. "- Tsunade had
some ideas of how I could... help you..."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and his face lost some of the softness that had been
there before. "I don't need your help, Dobe."
"I... Sasuke, she said that if you don't stabilize yourself, you're going to
end up in prison. They can't handle someone like you in the hospital. We need
to at least try this," Naruto said, flailing his hands slightly as though that
could explain what he was trying to talk about.
Rather than being annoyed as Naruto had expected, Sasuke snickered a little.
"You look so funny when you wave your arms like that. Like you're still twelve
or something."
Naruto couldn't decide if he should be angry at what Sasuke said, or freaked
out at how completely different Sasuke was acting compared to the previous
night.
"Why are you still just standing there. Come, sit down if you have to talk at
me. It's giving me a neck-ache looking up at you," Sasuke said, shifting his
legs to make space for Naruto on the futon. Naruto looked at the empty futon on
the other side of the room, but decided to take Sasuke's invitation to sit next
to him, as unexpected as that was. If Naruto was supposed to actually touch
him, it would be easier to do if he wasn't sitting across the room.
Once Naruto sat, Sasuke lounged back again, his knee brushing against Naruto's
sending another series of electric-like shocks through the blond's nervous
system. This time Naruto was not able to try to fool himself by thinking it had
anything at all to do with chidori. Naruto tried hard to ignore the way Sasuke
seemed to be so comfortable, almost inviting the physical contact. After all,
wasn't that the whole point of this?
Up close, he could smell the residual scent of Sasuke's sandalwood soap, as
well as the slight undertone of his sweat. Somehow the combination of the two
made it hard to concentrate.
"So what is this great plan that Tsunade has forced you into," Sasuke asked,
his eyes half-lidded, almost sleepy looking, but the dark gaze still
penetrating as he looked at Naruto.
"She's not..." Naruto felt his nervousness kick back in under the gaze. "She's
not forcing me. I want to help you."
Sasuke closed his eyes and laughed softly, his voice dripping scorn. "Aren't
you the good little boy? Always wanting to save everyone. Always trying to help
everyone. It's just one more way you can show us all how much fucking betteryou
are than everyone else, isn't it Naruto?"
"You know what? Fuck you, Sasuke. Just fuck you!" Naruto stood abruptly, and
felt himself snap.
"If anyone thought they were better than everyone else, it's always been you.
You fucking asshole.You just had to try to take on your stupid plan of revenge
on your own. Kakashi, Sakura and I were just dead weight to you. No one in the
village was fucking good enough to train the precious last Uchiha. So you went
off to live with some totally psycho pedophile who probably jacked off while
thinking about you every night and you thought it was all just fucking perfect
to live in some shitty cave with snakes and fucking Kabuto,don't even get me
started with everything that is wrong with thatguy. Then finally, finally you
kill the snake bastard, and instead of coming back home and asking for help or
even just coming home to help us because fucking Pein was leveling Konoha to
the ground, you just went off and found some complete strangers to be your new
team instead. Because evidently, even random, Snake lackeys were somehow more
trustworthy and more valuable in your mind than Sakura or Kakashi or me. We
still weren't good enough. I took out all five Peins, which even Jiraya
couldn't do, and I still wasn't fucking good enough for you to even ask to be
on your stupid fucking kill Itachi team? Fuck you. Asuma died, Jiraya died,
even Kakashi died for a while, and you were nowhere to help. You didn't give
two shits about us. You'll ask for anyone's help but mine. Fuck, you even
raised Orochimaru from the dead to help you rather than ask me. I was good
enough for Itachi to ask for my help. But not you. Nevermind that you'd known
me a hundred times better, and that I saved your ass twice in battles you were
losing. What the fuck,Sasuke? Why am I never good enough for you!"
Naruto stood there, panting, a little stunned at all the words and emotions
that had just spilled out of his mouth in a jumbled up mess. He looked over at
Sasuke to find that he still hadn't even opened his eyes.
"Are you just about done?"
Naruto felt his fists clench, and wanted nothing more than to shove a rasengan
through Sasuke's fucking perfect face in that moment.
"Then get the fuck out of my house."
-xXx-
to be continued...
***** Realizaton *****
Warning: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy)language, angst, mental illness, drug use,
thoughts of suicide.
Author's note - Oh, god. I just read Chapter 698 and I am just... soo...
happy... I can't... I am feeling sweetness (very rare for me). But it won't be
in this chapter yet, because of how I started the story. BUT, my goal is now
for some Sasuke and Naruto sweetness at some point to happen. Because Kishi is
my hero again.
-xXx-
Naruto stood there, panting, a little stunned at all the words and emotions
that had just spilled out of his mouth in a jumbled up mess. He looked over at
Sasuke to find that he still hadn't even opened his eyes.
"Are you just about done?"
Naruto felt his fists clench, and wanted nothing more than to shove a rasengan
through Sasuke's fucking perfect face in that moment.
"Then get the fuck out of my house."
Sasuke didn't need to open his eyes to feel the heavy tension in the air. His
lips twitched up at the corners as he imagined the outburst that he was sure
would come and a thrum of what could only be described as anticipation surged
through him.
It was the most alive he'd felt in months.
Three months, to be exact. Since he had last faced Naruto in battle.
The silence stretched.
Sasuke opened his eyes as he heard his front door slam shut. The sound seemed
to echo hollowly through his empty house.
He lay there, unmoving, waiting to see if the blond would turn around and come
back to finish their fight the way they always used to... through hand-to-hand
combat. But Sasuke could feel Naruto's chakra moving away from his home.
Without hesitation. Without turning back.
All the life he had felt surge through him at Naruto's presence seemed to drain
away again, leaving him hollow and empty.
He had expected Naruto to attack him like he used to when they were kids and
Sasuke would say something to piss Naruto off. But the shinobi who would be the
next Hokage had evidently learned some restraint in the years Sasuke had been
gone.
He didn't understand why he felt... disappointed that Naruto had been able to
restrain his temper. It implied that the blond had grown up some, which Sasuke
supposed shouldn't be surprising given the events of the past several years.
But somehow, it annoyed Sasuke. Naruto was not supposed to change. Naruto was
supposed to be the one thing that remained constant in Sasuke's world. Naruto
was not supposed to do something like grow up and learn restraint.
But even worse was the possibility that Naruto simply didn't care enough about
Sasuke anymore to make it worth fighting about.
A strange feeling of emptiness washed over him, and Sasuke closed his eyes
against it. Had it finally happened? Sasuke had always wondered at what point
Naruto would give up on him. Naruto's steadfast belief in him had defied all
logic. Why had Naruto stood by him when everyone else had turned away? Sasuke
had never understood it. He knew better than anyone that he had never deserved
the loyalty of the only person he had ever considered his friend.
He had done nothing to preserve it, and many things to try to shatter it. It
was the final string that held Sasuke here. Had he finally severed it?
Sasuke felt annoyed that the drug was starting to wear off, making it harder to
ignore his thoughts. He had been riding his high, lost in its artificial bliss
until Naruto had shown up and broken the bubble. He knew he had established a
rule for himself that he only would use the opium once every other day. But
this one didn't really count, because it had been interrupted. Maybe… Sasuke
glanced towards the kitchen where the jar sat innocently on his countertop. It
wouldn't really be breaking the rule, since he allowed himself one complete use
of the drug, and this use had not really been complete.
He raked his fingers through his hair, slowly getting to his feet and walking
over to the kitchen. He pulled out the silver plate and stared at it for a few
moments.
Naruto's words rang in Sasuke's ears. He didn't want to talk about those
things. About his decision to leave. His time with Orochimaru. His absence
during the battle with Pein. Naruto's relationship with Itachi.
He didn't want to think about those things. Sasuke's hand fisted on the
counter.
Naruto accused Sasuke of not thinking anyone had been good enough in the
village to train him. He wasn't wrong. Orochimaru had attacked the village and
killed the Third Hokage, who was supposed to have been the strongest ninja in
the village. Itachi had come and dropped Kakashi to the ground in less than a
minute.
If Naruto didn't realize that Sasuke hadn't had a choice, then he wasn't going
to bother to explain it to him. No one in the village had been strong enough.
Especially not Sasuke.
So he had gone to Orochimaru, who had already proven himself stronger than the
Hokage and wouldn't shy away from taking unconventional paths to building power
in others. It had been Sasuke's only choice at the time if he was going to have
any chance of becoming strong enough fast enough. And the speed at which Sasuke
gained his strength had become critical. When Itachi had nearly taken Naruto,
Sasuke had realized he could not wait until he grew up to take Itachi on. Not
unless he wanted to lose the few remaining things that mattered to him. He
could not just stand there and watch it happen again. He wouldn't survive it.
So he had left.
And then he had managed to kill Orochimaru, but he had known even at the time
that Itachi was stronger than Orochimaru. It was why Orochimaru had given up on
trying to take Itachi's body and focused on Sasuke's instead. Defeating
Orochimaru was no guarantee that Sasuke would be able to take down Itachi. How
could Naruto have realistically expected Sasuke to come back and put them all
at risk AGAIN by involving them in his search for Itachi when he didn't know if
he was strong enough yet? The original reason Sasuke had left still stood. He
was not going to watch Itachi kill the few people left that Sasuke cared about.
And he definitely was not going to be the one who put them at risk in the first
place by dragging them directly into Itachi's path in Sasuke's quest for
revenge. Not to mention it would basically hand the Akatsuki the nine tails.
No. That went against everything that Sasuke had been trying to accomplish.
Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo had been under Orochimaru's control. Sasuke had
freed them, putting them in his debt. And he knew they would obey him when he
said he wanted to face Itachi alone, where Naruto definitely would not. If
Sasuke had failed to be sufficiently strong when the time came to face Itachi,
the only one who would have died was him.
If he had sought Naruto's help, and Naruto had accompanied him, then failure on
Sasuke's part would cost them both their lives.
It had panicked Sasuke when Naruto kept chasing him. Following him everywhere.
What if Naruto followed Sasuke to Itachi, and Itachi killed him? Why couldn't
that idiot realize that Sasuke had to do this alone? Naruto so reckless…
throwing himself in the path of every danger that he came across. Sasuke had
done everything he could to drive Naruto away from him, and break their bond to
prevent that from happening.
Of course, Sasuke admitted now that Naruto had become much stronger than he had
realized. When he had last seen the blond at Orochimaru's compound, Naruto had
been weakened from his battle with Orochimaru earlier. He had not seemed very
strong at the time, and Sasuke had viewed this as validation in a sense of his
own decision to leave the village and become stronger under Orochimaru. Naruto
had stayed behind, and his progresses had seemed to slow compared to Sasuke's
own.
He now knew that he had been mistaken on that count. He remembered the shock he
had felt the first time he had seen Naruto use the Kyuubi's full power in
battle. And when his childhood rival had been able to combine that with his
sage power, surpassing even Jiraya and rivaling Hashirama…
It bothered Sasuke, in a way, that Naruto had become so strong. Stronger even
that Sasuke, but without having to walk away from everything to do so.
Sasuke had given up everything, had isolated himself, and lived with monsters
to force himself to become stronger. It had been lonely. Frightening. Painful.
But he had thought it was the only way.
But Naruto had become strong without ever leaving the protection of the
village. He had travelled with Jiraya, but with the village's blessing. Naruto
had had to give up nothing, and still managed to become Sasuke's equal.
Part of Sasuke had been bitter at that realization. But part of him had also
known that his decision to leave, his decision to train ruthlessly under
Orochimaru, had pushed not only himself, but also his childhood rival.
Because Naruto hadn't been training to surpass Kakashi. He had been training to
surpass Sasuke. And they both knew it. They both felt it.
Maybe Sasuke's leaving had been the right decision after all. It had propelled
them both farther, faster than what they ever could have achieved if they he
had stayed and they had continued training under Kakashi.
But it didn't mean Sasuke had no regrets. It didn't mean he felt no bitterness
now that it was over.
Sasuke's stomach tightened at the remembered anguish in Naruto's voice as he'd
vented just before he had left. Sasuke had known that Naruto had taken his
leaving the village as a rejection of his friendship. Of their bond. And he had
allowed Naruto to think that, hoping it would keep Naruto from following him in
his pursuit of Itachi.
Naruto had always felt inferior to everyone, especially to Sasuke. Despite the
fact that Naruto was already stronger than Sasuke when Sasuke had left, Naruto
didn't see it. Because Sasuke had not acknowledged it.
So of course he would take Sasuke's actions that way. But the point was, Naruto
was at least alive andable to still feel things, even if what he was feeling
toward Sasuke was anger and hurt. It was better than just being dead. And
Sasuke knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that Naruto would have been dead if
Sasuke had stayed in the village. And Naruto would never have pushed himself to
become as strong as he was now.
It had been the right choice.
Sasuke's hand rested on the lid of the jar with the sticky black paste. He
slowly turned the lid, deciding he was tired of thinking so much today.
He understood completely how Itachi had felt with the choices he had made. All
of them, including the choice to die.
Itachi had been dying anyway, from whatever illness he had. Though Sasuke
suspected that even if there had been a treatment for Itachi's illness, his
brother would not have sought it out. But it wasn't to avoid a lingering,
painful death that had caused Itachi to allow Sasuke to kill him. Looking back
on the battle, it was clear that Itachi had done exactly that... allowedSasuke
to kill him. Itachi had only wanted to be sure he damaged Sasuke enough to draw
out Orochimaru from the curse mark and kill Orochimaru's essence. But he had
been careful not to kill Sasuke, even though he could have at the end.
And Sasuke understood finally what Itachi had really wanted. He wanted his
suffering to end. He wanted to finally be freed of the unbearably heavy press
of the terrible memories and choices he had to live with. Freed from the
miserable life he had been allotted, forced to commit acts that went against
the very core of his nature, killing people he held dear, exiled from everyone
else who mattered to him. Laden with the horrible memory of killing their
parents and kin, and torturing his little brother and bearing Sasuke's hatred,
when all he really had wanted to do was protect him and the village. Quite
simply, Itachi had wanted to die.
He had entrusted Sasuke with the taking of his life, to bring at least one
final moment of closeness with him, and prevent any further cycle of revenge.
And now it was Sasuke who was left with the burden. Sasuke had hoped at the
very end the final battle with Naruto might bring a similar closure for
himself, but it hadn't worked out that way. Naruto had not killed him. Why did
Sasuke need to be stronger than Itachi and continue living? What did it even
matter now, when he had no purpose, nothing left to achieve? And now, finally,
no bonds to sustain him?
Sasuke was about to lift the lid of the jar when he felt an intense, angry
flare of the familiar signature of Naruto's chakra. It was coming from one of
the sparring fields near Sasuke's home.
Evidently the blond shinobi wasn't as good at controlling his temper as he had
been pretending. He hadn't been complacent with Sasuke's response to him at
all. Sasuke felt almost relief wash over him. He tightened the cap back on the
jar, leaving it untouched on his counter.
Sasuke didn't know if he was technically allowed on the training fields as he
was now officially classified as a civilian, but he decided he didn't care.
Considering all the rules he had broken in the village in his past, this minor
infraction wouldn't even register on the scales.
-xXX-
Naruto sat on the training field, his head in his hands.
He had walked there immediately after leaving Sasuke's home, knowing that he
was too angry to risk running into anyone right then.
He wove the hand signs and three shadow clones appeared. Naruto's emotions were
too churned up to allow him to go into sage mode, so he simply flooded himself
with chakra and released rasengan after rasengan into the hapless forest. It
did nothing to sate his need for physical fighting, though, so he created more
clones and fought hand-to-hand, letting his anger and frustration vent with
every punch and kick that he landed.
No one could make him as angryas Sasuke could. Naruto wanted to scream and rage
and take the forest out in his frustration. He had been an inch away from
attacking Sasuke in his home, despite being sent there to heal him, not attack
him. The way the arrogant bastard had just laythere and didn't even bother to
fucking lookat him. Why could Sasuke never just look at him? Why did Sasuke
never seehim?
Naruto stood panting after the last clone was dispatched. The physical release
left him feeling drained, but not better.
As his anger had started to ebb, he felt it shift slowly to anguish and
something more akin to longing. Before Sasuke had left the village, he had at
least looked at him. Naruto had mattered, if only a little. But he had
mattered, though Sasuke even as a child had not let his guard down enough to
really let Naruto in.
Naruto thought again of how Sasuke had looked reclining on his futon, his toned
chest mostly bared and the cords in his pale neck visible as he had tilted his
head back. Sasuke's perfect face, so cold and hard. But somehow - today- it had
not been that hard. And it had set off a longing in Naruto, wanting to touch
that softer side somehow. Wanting it to be because of him that Sasuke had
somehow finally seemed less cold.
But it wasn't, of course. Whatever it was that Sasuke had been thinking of that
had relaxed him before Naruto got there clearly had nothing to do with Naruto.
Sasuke didn't give a fuck. Naruto probably didn't even register on his radar as
anything other than the ninja who had finally brought him down. But nothing
more. Nothing like what Naruto felt for Sasuke.
Naruto sat down dejectedly on the stump of a fallen tree, remembering his own
reaction to seeing Sasuke today after their exchange this morning. He laughed
hollowly.
Because he finally knew. He finally knew the real reason he had been chasing
after Sasuke all these years. And everyone who had ever called Naruto an idiot
had been absolutely fucking right.
Naruto was in love with Sasuke.
Not the brotherly kind of love. Oh, no. Naruto could no longer fool himself
into thinking that was what he felt for Sasuke. No. He had to go and feel the:
'my soul is being devoured by yours' kind of love. The 'I want to get naked
with you on in the shower, the bedroom, the kitchen, the training field' kind
of love.
And it was almost funny, because while Naruto was going through this major
self-revelation of something he was now pretty sure had started when he was
twelve, Sasuke was probably napping on his damn futon, as unaware of Naruto as
ever.
And why should Naruto have expected differently? Sasuke had never, ever made it
seem like they were anything other than reluctant teammates and later, unequal
rivals.
Naruto drew a shuddering breath as he thought back. That actually wasn't
entirely true. Sasuke had... shown... some... caring. Not a lot. Nothing overt.
As teammates, they had both fought and nearly died to protect each other. But
they had also done that for Sakura and Kakashi. That was part of being
teammates in a world where you faced death frequently.
But there had been times when Sasuke had known Naruto was frustrated with his
own failings or hurt by the callous treatment of others, and Sasuke had prodded
him along. Harshly, but still. He had cared enough to do it. And that was
something Sasuke hadn't done for Sakura. Or anyone else that Naruto had ever
seen.
And in their first Valley of the End battle... Naruto had been unconscious at
the end. Sasuke had won, and could have killed him. Sasuke might call it a
whim, but Naruto knew it was more than that. He remembered what they had said
while they fought and the anguish that had shown on Sasuke's face during the
battle. Sasuke liked to pretend it had been all cold and calculated, but Naruto
knew better. They both did. Naruto was apparently the only one who would
actually admit it, though.
But it didn't matter what had happened in the past. Sasuke seemed to feel
nothing now.
And Naruto needed to figure out what to do with his own feelings, now that he
had finally recognized them for what they were. How he could have mistaken them
for anything else was, in retrospect, a little baffling. He had been so single-
mindedly focused on Sasuke for so long. What other explanation could there
possibly be?
He had kept telling himself he had been in love with Sakura, but when she had
come and basically offered herself to him, all he had felt was disappointment
and mild revulsion. She was supposed to love Sasuke. Not Naruto. And when she
had hugged him, a wave of anger had washed over him. Not lust. How dare she
betray their teammate? How dare she give up on Sasuke?
Naruto realized that it had been convenient to 'love' Sakura. Most of the boys
in the academy had a crush on her, so Naruto had just followed along. It was
part of his goal of becoming accepted by the village and fitting in, finally.
If he could get the attention of the most popular girl, then wouldn't that mean
he had partially achieved that? And if that girl had to choose between him and
Sasuke, then that would have meant Naruto would have won at something over his
rival.
And somehow that last point had been the point that had really driven him in
his pursuit of Sakura, if he were brutally honest with himself. It wasn't
something he was proud of. But he had wanted Sakura to want him, because then
it would mean he was better than Sasuke in some way. But when it had actually
seemed to happen, all he had felt was anger. Not attraction, nor victory.
Because in reality, he had no desire to be with Sakura.
It had always been Sasuke.
Naruto didn't know if he felt better or worse with the knowledge. It certainly
explained things. Like how he never seriously pursued a girl or anyone else
other than Sasuke.
But it somehow made his whole effort to bring Sasuke back to the village feel
less noble. Because he knew now that he had in fact not been trying to bring
Sasuke back based on some altruistic notion of returning a damaged child of the
village to his home, or even more specifically taking care of a teammate who
had strayed.
No.
Naruto had wanted to bring Sasuke back to him. Because he... wanted Sasuke.
Naruto felt the truth of those words resonate through his core. Yes. He wanted
Sasuke. He wanted him in every sense of that word. He wanted his attention. His
respect. His friendship. His trust. His body. His soul.
All of it.
Every last facet that was Sasuke, Naruto wanted it for himself. With an
intensity that was actually a little bit frightening.
The idea of possessing Sasuke flooded through him, giving him a heady rush.
Naruto tamped down viciously on his emotions. He had to get control of himself.
Just because Naruto had finally realized that he wanted Sasuke did not mean
that Sasuke would ever want him back. In fact, everything that Naruto knew
about Sasuke would indicate that the man was completely antisocial and asexual.
Sasuke just didn't seem to need or want anyone at all on any level, except
maybe Itachi. Any companionship he had sought beyond that in the past was only
what was required out of necessity as a ninja.
But Sasuke needs you now. Naruto drew back from the thought as though burned.
There was something seductive and... wrong... about feeling this way towards
Sasuke when he was so broken and... Naruto would have used the word
'vulnerable', but somehow that just didn't fit with Sasuke. But still, Naruto
would have to be careful to not take advantage of the situation. Whatever he
had done in the past, he could honestly say he had thought at the time he was
doing it for noble reasons. Now that he understood his true motivation,
however, he would have to tread more carefully. He was no longer a child.
He thought briefly about telling Tsunade and asking to be removed from the
assignment, but he knew that they would never have come to him if it hadn't
been the last resort. In order to help Sasuke, Naruto wasn't being sent on
missions unless absolutely necessary, which cost the village money. And Naruto
was probably the last person Tsunade would call in a medical situation, being
more of a bull in a china shop most of the time with stuff like that.
No, this was clearly the only option Tsunade had been able to come up with, and
Naruto wouldn't let Sasuke lose it and end up in jail just because Naruto
couldn't handle his emotions. Whatever Naruto felt, it didn't change the
reality of their relationship nor what his purpose was in spending time with
Sasuke at this point.
He needed to do what Tsunade asked him to do, and give Sasuke time to recover.
If at some later point Sasuke became interested in dating someone... then...
Naruto could get in line with everyone else and see if he could make the cut.
He had watch Sakura throw herself at Sasuke for years. He would not infringe on
Sasuke's life in that way. Nor would he humiliate himself by being purposely
dense about Sasuke's need for companionship. It was bad enough Naruto had
literally chased Sasuke all over the Fire Country for as many years as he had.
He would be there for his friend in the way that Tsunade has asked him. But he
would not push for more without some indication that Sasuke would welcome it.
Naruto stood as he took in the devastation he had wrought on the landscape of
the training grounds.
And he sensed a familiar chakra approaching him, and his stomach clenched
viciously in both anticipation and dread.
Sasuke.
-xXx-
to be continued...
***** Spar *****
Warning: Yaoi (Boy x Boy)language, sparring, sexual thoughts, masturbation. 17+
Author's note - Sorry. I know the sex is taking a long time to come (for me,
too!) but... I just... this is what they do. In my head. Thanks to Theehotnerd
for chatting with me a bit about this scene and keeping me from giving up. I am
sort of just... rolling around in emotions in this fic. Because the manga is
messing with my head, since it didn't give me resolution on a few key emotional
things like Itachi and other things, so... anyway, I'll stop talking now. The
good news is that I now have a clearer idea of what I need this fic to deliver
to me. So that means I am going to finish it for sure now. I think.
-xXx-
Naruto looked up as Sasuke entered the clearing. The mere sight of Sasuke - the
way he moved, the way he looked - pulled viscerally at Naruto. It always had.
But now it was colored by Naruto's new awareness of the true nature of his
feelings. The awareness of the other's body took on a new purpose, a new
meaning. Naruto forced back a shudder at the fleeting thought that they were
alone in the wooded part of the training field.
Naruto tamped the seductive thought down, knowing it served no purpose. And was
potentially dangerous, should they be detected by the man looking at him with
amused black eyes. After all, Sasuke had beheaded the last man to make overt
sexual advances toward him. And though he had chosen to revive him later, it
wasn't exactly encouragement for anyone else to casually give it a try.
Sasuke stood with his legs slightly apart, surveying the wreckage Naruto had
unleashed on the training grounds. He was dressed in his usual garb, dark blue
pants and loose white shirt tied with his purple obi. All clean, thanks to
Naruto. He smirked at the tangible evidence that Naruto was not a controlled as
he had tried to appear at his house.
"Here I thought you had become all grown up," Sasuke said, not bothering to
hide the fact that he was pleased by the evidence that this was not true. The
idea of a coolly controlled Naruto had not sat well with him.
He noticed that Naruto's gaze on him seemed unusually intense. Sasuke was used
to the way that those blue eyes always followed him wherever he went, starting
from the very first day they had met as children. But now, there was something
darker in the gaze that hadn't been there before.
Naruto blinked and his eyes cleared, but the residual feel of that look had set
Sasuke's blood thrumming in anticipation. He had come to spar, and Naruto
seemed already primed for it.
"I just needed to blow off some steam," Naruto's voice sounded forcedly
nonchalant. "My immunity to asshole has weakened since you've been gone from
the village for so long."
Sasuke smirked, feeling a surge of pleasure at the knowledge that he was
responsible for making Naruto's composure crack. This was what he had come here
for. The familiar feel and rhythm of their taunting. The way Naruto's eyes were
tracking his every movement. Somehow, the slight, lingering haziness from the
opium made him feel the coil of power that much more acutely as he realized
that time had not erased Naruto's fixation on him. Naruto might have won their
last battle, but the blond still craved Sasuke's attention and recognition,
just as he always had.
"The Hero of Konoha" still needed approval from the nuke nin that half the
village despised. That knowledge flooded through Sasuke, making his blood heat
and somehow pool low in his belly.
Sasuke didn't want to talk anymore. His body had been sedentary for too many
weeks, and suddenly he felt like he had a nearly infinite amount of energy that
needed to be burned off. He flexed his knees slightly into a ready stance,
knowing Naruto would respond. "I'd be more than happy to help you with that,"
Sasuke said.
Naruto forced his mind back from where it had instantly gone when those words
had left Sasuke's lips. He swallowed convulsively, mentally cursing Jiraya for
giving him so much mental imagery to fuel his wayward thoughts.
Sasuke noticed the slight widening of Naruto's eyes at his words, and the way
the blond's adams apple bobbed harshly in his throat. Is Naruto... nervous?
'Nervous' had never been a response Naruto had exhibited when he had been
challenged to spar, and Sasuke doubted it would be now. He narrowed his eyes,
examining Naruto's body language more closely. No. Not nervous. But
definitely... tense. Not sure what was going through Naruto's mind, Sasuke
somewhat mockingly making the two-fingered seal of confrontation from their
academy days, signaling his intent to spar.
Naruto snorted out a laugh, giving Sasuke a middle-fingered version of the sign
before hesitating, then giving the proper one, a strange feeling of nostalgia
washing through him for the children they had been.
"We can't use chakra, though. If you activate your Sharingan, Anbu will
probably come. My guess is that at least Kakashi is keeping an eye on your
chakra levels, just in case you go off on another drunken rampage on someone,"
Naruto was only half-joking. Sasuke was still on probation and not technically
supposed to even be on the sparring fields. But that was irrelevant to the two
shinobi. The pull was just too strong. Their friendship and rivalry had been
born on the training fields.
At a certain level, it simply came down to the fact that they were ninjas. They
liked the feel of the fight that taijutsu provided. The adrenaline rush. The
feel of pushing your body to its physical limit. The intimacy of the contact
with your sparring partner.
This was how they had always communicated best. It was at the core of their
bond.
Now, finally, they were here again on a field they had trained together as
children. They were older now. Deadlier. But still, on some level, the same two
children who had had only each other so many years ago.
They circled each other slowly, both savoring the feeling of anticipation of
what was about to happen.
Sasuke's expression was one of almost boredom. Except for his eyes. They
glinted with a level of anticipation that echoed Naruto's own. Naruto grinned.
And then Sasuke was in motion, his movement so fluid it could be called
graceful if every action didn't carry the threat of death.
Naruto's body was already responding, blocking, and counter-attacking. He
wondered, before a side-kick to his head required his attention, how many of
Sasuke's opponents had simply been too mesmerized by the man's lethally fluid
beauty to bother getting out of his way.
The world had narrowed down to the two of them as they faced off. The practiced
precision of their movements making it seem almost like they were dancing,
except when a tree branch would explode into splinters as one of them
successfully dodged a blow from the other. Sasuke felt himself relaxing into
the familiar feel of sparring with Naruto. It had been years since he had faced
an opponent that he had truly been able to trust would not actually try to kill
him at some point during the spar. Possibly more a statement of Sasuke's lack
of ability to trust anyone than any real deception on their part, but true
nonetheless.
But it was different with Naruto.
It had always been different with Naruto.
Sasuke's thoughts were disrupted as a kick from Naruto nearly swept his legs
out from under him, forcing Sasuke to flip backwards out of the way. Naruto's
eyes gleamed at the temporary retreat. If Sasuke were capable of it, he would
have grinned, despite the fact that he had been forced to cede ground. He loved
that Naruto could push him like this. He loved the total focus that was
required for him to avoid getting slammed into the ground. He wondered what it
would be like to spar with Naruto when he was in full tailed-beast mode. The
thought of all that power facing off against him again sent another spike of
heat through his body. It was almost worth trying to get Tsunade to accept him
just for the chance to spar full out with Naruto again. As friends, rather than
enemies.
Sasuke could almost hear the pulse in Naruto's throat as he closed distance.
Without even seeing Naruto move, he could sense the circular block that was
coming, knowing that a counter to his back would follow. No matter how much
time had passed, this link never seemed to fade. Their ability to read each
other's intent and actions. It had been surprising at how easily it had slid
back into place during their battle together against Obito and the Ten Tails.
The had fought instinctively as partners, just as they had years ago. Bfore
Sasuke had left.
Sasuke was gratified to see that he still had a slight edge on Naruto in terms
of speed as he shifted his attack mid-strike to block Naruto's. Their bodies
were briefly locked flush together, and Sasuke saw Naruto's eyes dilate
slightly as the blond drew another shuddering breath.
Taking it for the opening that it was, Sasuke rapidly straightened his arms,
providing just enough space between them for him to step back and send a side
trust kick directly towards Naruto's solar plexus.
Naruto's eyes snapped back to focus an instant before the blow hit, and he was
able to fall back enough to make the strike simply wind him slightly rather
than dropping him to the ground.
They didn't hold back or go easy on each other. The refusal to lose to each
other still burned strong. Sasuke had ceded defeat the last time they had
fought. He had no plans to do so today.
. . . . . .
Naruto bit back a curse as he felt Sasuke's foot connect with his stomach.
Luckily, he had enough backward momentum going that it didn't do much damage.
But it had made him retreat, meaning that they were now even again with
sparring if one was keeping score. Which, of course, they were.
When Sasuke had countered his attack and put them into a temporary deadlock,
Naruto had allowed himself to be distracted. Why had he never noticed before
how the arch of Sasuke's neck right below the ear was so appealing? He had felt
an almost uncontrollable urge to bring his face just the slightest bit forward
and brush his cheek across that spot. The thought had just entered his head
when Sasuke had shifted his stance and nearly drove a foot through Naruto's
chest.
Sasuke was a lethal opponent and Naruto knew better than to lounge around
daydreaming when they sparred, or Sasuke would hand him his ass. Naruto might
have won the last time, but there was no guarantee he would win again today. He
smirked slightly at the thought of what Tsunade would likely have to say about
all this. He knew this was not exactly what she had in mind when she had sent
Naruto to interact with Sasuke. But Naruto knew that - whatever their
differences might be - Sasuke was like Naruto in at least this one thing. There
was nothing that Sasuke or Naruto understood better than fighting.
Naruto felt the familiar, heady rush that sparring with Sasuke had always
brought him. As a child, he had hungered for the Uchiha's attention. The only
time he knew he truly held it had been when they sparred. The complete focus
Sasuke had always given any form of battle ensured this, but somehow Naruto had
always felt it was even more intense when it was the two of them. Their eyes
locked on each other. Their bodies tuned to even the tiniest tensing of a limb
of the other.
Jiraya had once told Naruto that sparring with someone who was your equal was
just as intimate as sex.
Naruto felt that thought snake through his consciousness and threaten his focus
again, but he blew out a breath and attacked instead, combining a leg sweep
with a spinning back kick, just missing connecting with Sasuke's hip.
He reveled in the feel of Sasuke's eyes on him. Not burning with insanity or
the desire to kill him. Not anymore. They held the look that Naruto had
hungered for during those years after Sasuke had left the village. The
arrogant, focused look that Sasuke would get when a match between them was
going well, challenging him. Pushing him.
It had always been when Naruto thought Sasuke was the closest that the Uchiha
could ever get to being actually happy.
It made Naruto's grin reappear to see that look on Sasuke's face again after so
long. And oddly made his throat tighten as well. He had longed for this. Longed
for Sasuke.
. . . .
The cry of a hawk caused Naruto and Sasuke to both look up out of habit,
halting their spar. Tsunade was summoning Naruto.
Naruto frowned, seeing Sasuke's face shift instantly back from the slight
pleasure that had been showing to the cold, emotionless mask he always wore.
The slight flush on Sasuke's cheeks from their exertions would take longer to
fade, but Naruto was bothered more than he was able to understand by the return
of the mask. Naruto watched a bead of sweat trickle down Sasuke's throat into
the hollow at the base of his neck.
He wrenched his gaze away, earning a coolly raised brow from his old teammate.
"I have to go," Naruto said pointlessly. Sasuke already knew this. It hadn't
been so long that he'd forgotten the sign when someone was summoned.
Sasuke waited while Naruto grabbed the anbu vest he had removed when he had
begun sparring with his clones earlier that day.
"I'll come by after I find out what she wants. I can... cook dinner or
something?"
Sasuke shrugged, already turning back towards the village. "Whatever."
Sasuke did not look back as he made his way back to the Uchiha grounds.
Naruto watched him leave, too many emotions swirling around inside him to be
able to express any of them.
The hawk cried again, and Naruto threw it a glare. "Alright! I'm coming,
already."
-xXx-
Naruto arrived at Tsunade's office, feeling irritated. He felt as though she
had interrupted something... important.
"Naruto," Tsunade said, her tone indicating that this had not been a frivolous
summons. "I know I had told you that I did not want you taking on any more
missions while you were working with Sasuke, but we received information today
that must be acted on immediately."
She handed Naruto a scroll in Sai's precise handwriting that gave detailed
information on a hideout that Danzo had used for only his top advisors. If
anything were to contain detailed information about his role in Itachi's
actions, it would be located here.
"I knew that you would want to be involved personally in any possible retrieval
effort. Sai and his team will meet you at this location. If you leave now, you
should be there by nightfall. You will be gone three days maximum."
Naruto slipped the paper into his pack. He hadn't spoken of Itachi to Sasuke.
Of that fact that many of his missions since the end of the war had been to dig
up the buried skeletons that the Council had tried to hide. Gaara was doing the
same in Suna. The findings so far had been... beyond what even Sasuke likely
had thought they had been capable of. Naruto would be Hokage. And he would make
good on his promise to make sure that something like the Uchiha massacre could
never happen again.
But the Council had had its teeth into many people, and there were very few
people that Naruto or Tsunade would trust to collect documentation without
altering or destroying it. It was ironic that Sai, who had originally been
Root, was one of the few. But his word would be doubted by some, given his
former affiliation, so Naruto knew that he would have to go. Kakashi had been
sent on a mission just before Tsunade had received word from Sai, which left
only Naruto. It was critical that no one else know anything about what they
were trying to do. Too many people had a vested interest in letting old bones
lie.
But of anything that Naruto could imagine could do something to heal Sasuke,
clearing Itachi was the one thing that probably still mattered to him. The
council had been killed before there could be any investigation or trial.
Itachi's name was still not on the memorial stone.
It was small. It wouldn't undo the horrendous damage that had been done. But it
was one thing that Naruto knew he needed to see done. For Sasuke. And for
Itachi. Naruto would make at least this one small thing right.
Naruto nodded tersely to Tsunade, already listing out in his head the few
things he would need to do and pack before he left.
-xXx-
Sasuke was seated at his kitchen table. He had returned from sparring feeling
oddly revitalized. He had showered and changed, feeling almost... anticipation
at the thought of Naruto coming to his house again.
He hadn't so much as glanced at the jar of sticky black paste that was sitting
innocuously on his counter. In all honesty he had completely forgotten about it
as he rummaged through his cupboards to see what he had that they could cook,
ignoring the numerous bottles of sake that were also stored there. He felt no
need for it tonight.
He could feel Naruto approaching his home and he looked expectantly toward the
door. Naruto knocked and Sasuke leaned back against the kitchen counter,
deciding the blond could determine on his own whether the door was trapped or
not.
"It's unlocked," Sasuke said, purposely ambiguous about where or not there were
additional barriers to entry.
There was a pause as Naruto likely checked for traps before the door was
opened. Naruto was dressed in full anbu gear, his mask pushed up onto the top
of his head, revealing his face.
"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto began, scratching the back of his head. "Uh... I just
wanted to stop by and let you know that I won't be able to make dinner for you
tonight. Something... came up, and I have a mission that can't be assigned to
someone else."
Sasuke let none of the strange disappointment he felt show on his face. "You're
going alone?"
Naruto hesitated, then shook his head. He supposed it was safe enough to at
least tell Sasuke this much. "I'm meeting Sai and his team. I should be back
within three days. Rain-check on dinner?"
Sasuke walked over to the counter where he had set and onion and some ginger
out. He picked them up and returned them to the basket in the base of his
pantry. "Don't you need to be going then?" His voice was inflectionless.
"Sasuke..." Naruto said, blowing out a breath. He could tell the man was...
unhappy. "I have to do this."
"No one is disagreeing. You should get going."
Naruto looked at Sasuke's eyes, noticing that the energy that they had held
when he first arrived was now gone. They appeared dead - like they had that
first night that Naruto had come to Sasuke's home.
"Just... I'll be back soon, and I'll come here as soon as I get back."
Sasuke said nothing, and Naruto - knowing he had to hurry if he was going to
meet up with Sai before anyone entered the hideout - sighed before sliding his
mask in place and turning back towards the door.
. . . . . . . . . .
Sasuke turned back to the pantry, taking out one of the many sake bottles he
kept there. He no longer felt like cooking.
He poured himself a glass of sake, swallowing it without even tasting it before
pouring himself another. Experience had taught him that it would take at least
six glasses before his mind was numb enough that he would stop thinking.
He wondered what Naruto's mission was. The war was over... shouldn't that mean
there weren't dangerous missions anymore that required Naruto's skills?
Of course, Sasuke wasn't naïve enough to believe that war ever brought peace.
It simply suppressed violence for a bit, until people had licked their wounds
enough to try again.
And Sai. Sasuke swallowed his second glass. He really didn't like Sai, he
thought, as he poured himself another glass. He didn't know exactly what it was
about the guy that bugged him. Other than the fact that he was obviously
Sasuke's replacement on Team 7.
He wondered if he had replaced Sasuke in Naruto's eyes or not.
Sasuke swallowed his third glass, leaning back in his chair now as the familiar
buzz set in.
Naruto's eyes.
He wondered if Naruto's eyes followed Sai the way that they had always followed
Sasuke.
Sasuke poured his fourth glass with more violence than was necessary, spilling
some.
No, he really didn't like Sai.
If Sasuke hadn't left, he would be the one that Naruto was going on the mission
to meet.
Sasuke closed his eyes, knowing that the alcohol and the memories that sparring
with Naruto on the old training grounds had dredged up were muddling his
thoughts.
His pale, slender fingers turned the small, flat sake cup before picking it up
and pouring its contents through his parted lips.
The anger that usually kept him from sleep was a stale, bitter anger against
Danzo, the council, Madara, Itachi and Sasuke's own choices - things that he
could no longer do anything about.
The anger he felt this evening about the thought of Naruto on a mission with
Sai was sharp and fresh. Cleaner, somehow. And it didn't make him feel as
impotent as the older angers.
Sasuke grabbed a fresh bottle of sake and took it to his living room stumbling
once before settling back on his futon before pouring himself another glass.
His sixth? No, his fifth. Two more to go before he would be able to drift.
He drank the glass, letting his mind go where it wanted. He already could feel
the room spinning.
Sparring with Naruto had brought back so many memories he had tried to bury.
Having someone he trusted to train with. The feeling of being pushed to his
limits, having someone challenge him without trying to destroy him. Someone who
would both make him stronger but also have his back if he faltered. It was that
safety net that Sasuke had feared the most. Feared that having it would make
him weak.
Would it have?
He didn't know.
But more than anything, he had forgotten how it felt to have Naruto's eyes
follow him like that. Not because they were locked in a battle trying to kill
each other.
Of course he'd pay attention then.
But it was different. When they sparred. Even before they sparred.
When Sasuke had first entered the clearing.
Naruto's eyes had been... so blue. So focused on Sasuke... on everything about
him. Sasuke poured his sixth glass, missing part of the glass but still
managing to fill it to the brim.
Sasuke remembered the look in Naruto's eyes when they had been locked together
briefly during their spar. They had darkened, the pupils dilating. There was a
dark intensity in Naruto's look that was... different... from the way he had
looked at him before. And it had pulled at Sasuke differently.
Sasuke sipped from his glass, feeling the same heat in his lower stomach that
he had felt when they had been sparring. He closed his eyes, remembering the
heat of Naruto's body as they had been pressed against each other, the raw
power of the blond's body that he was able to feel thrumming against his.
Without thinking, his hand slid down over the fabric of his trousers, closing
around the erection that had formed there.
Sasuke set his glass down, only half finished as he watched the sight of his
own fingers slowly pumping up and down his clothed erection.
He had masturbated before. He had already left the village when he'd had his
first wet dream. It had been embarrassing and annoying. But there had been a
wealth of medical books in Orochimaru's hideouts. Sasuke had quickly learned
that wet dreams were simply the male body's way of getting rid of sperm that
had built up before they degraded and became ineffective. As long as a male
ejaculated weekly, wet dreams would be minimized or even nonexistent.
Sasuke had masturbated, not thinking of anything at all, simply one of his
bodily functions that had to be attended to in order to avoid annoyingly sticky
mornings and disturbing, shadowy dreams. It brought him only minimal pleasure,
certainly not anything worth repeating with more frequency than was necessary.
But he had never gotten hard thinking about a specific person.
Sasuke leaned back, experimentally stroking his shaft while keeping the image
of Naruto's face in his mind.
He felt his cock harden further, and a rush of heat spiked through his body
unexpectedly.
"Nnnngggggg,"he breathed out, gasping at the unfamiliar intensity of the
pleasure. He untied the cloth around his waist and ties of his pants, then
pulled out his cock.
This was completely different from the mechanical sessions he had done in the
past.
Sasuke felt sweat break out on his upper lip as his body temperature rose. He
lifted his hips and pushed his pants down to his knees, kicking them off,
allowing complete access to his shaft. He spread his legs and leaned back,
closing his eyes as his hand gripped his cock, the sensation even stronger now
that the skin of his palm was sliding directly against dick.
He focused on the way Naruto's eyes had drifted to his throat, then locked back
with his own gaze. His hand moved faster as he remembered the heat and scent of
Naruto when they had been sparring, the way his muscles had moved beneath the
tan skin that had been slickened with sweat.
He focused then on Naruto's mouth, the look of the pink lips, the way the moved
when he laughed. Sasuke's dick was now dripping precum, the moisture slickening
his hand. He imagined, instead, that the moisture came from Naruto's mouth, as
Sasuke thrust into the open pink lips and...
"Ahhnn, fuck!" Sasuke came, shooting ribbons of cum, his stomach muscles
clenching and shuddering with the force of his orgasm.
He lay back, panting, his mind hazy from the alcohol and the aftermath of his
climax.
After several minutes, Sasuke stretched over and grabbed a tissue from the
small table by the futon.
What the hell?
-xXx-
to be continued...
***** Shower *****
xXx-
Naruto relaxed fractionally when the gates of Konoha came into view. He hadn't
slept since he left the village. Tsunade had impressed upon him that the
subversive reach of the council had been broad and deep, and there were many
people who would not be happy to have their secrets brought to the light of
day.
Naruto had been in sage mode the entire mission, both to be able to detect if
there were a traitor in their midst and also to provide early warning if
someone was approaching their location. Even with their chakra concealed,
Naruto would be able to sense them coming as long as he was in sage mode.
Every trip he had made tracking down council business had been like this. He
would return home and sleep for almost twenty-four hours, then be fine. But
first he needed to deliver what he had found to Tsunade. Because finally he had
actually found something. All the other locations they had learned of they had
arrived too late, finding the places gutted and everything burned. But this
one… this one had been left intact. Naruto wasn't sure if it was because the
only people who had known about it were dead, or if the location was viewed as
well-guarded enough to be considered 'safe'. Naruto had met up with Sai and his
team and had spent the first twenty-four hours removing tags, seals, and other
traps that were meant to destroy the contents of the library and files if
anyone tried to get in.
Danzo had been a paranoid bastard, but Sai was highly skilled and had paid
attention during his years in Root. He knew exactly what to look for. There had
only been one or two surprises that might have been nasty, but luckily there
had been chakra-embedded in the seals and Naruto had been able to detect them
in sage mode.
Sai and his team would spend the next week finishing up going through the
materials, but Naruto had wanted to return immediately to show Tsunade what
they had found so far. There was clear documentation that Danzo had given the
order for the Uchiha Clan massacre. And the council had approved.
Itachi had been following orders, and there was no refuting that now.
Tsunade would have to act. She had given her word that if there were hard
evidence found about what Danzo had done, Itachi would be cleared and his name
added to the memorial stone. Especially after the help he gave during the war,
releasing the Edo Tensei jutsu, the man deserved at least that much. In
Naruto's mind, Itachi would have been cleared already had he been alive to
request it. With Sasuke being on probation and regarded so hostilely by many of
the village, Naruto knew it would fall to him to be the one to clear Itachi's
name. And hopefully clear some of the anger directed at Sasuke as well. Because
there was also no doubt that if the council had not given the order to have
Sasuke's family massacred, Sasuke would never have turned into the criminal he
had become. If Naruto could get the village to accept that Itachi had acted
under the council's orders, then they would have to also accept that the blame
for many of Sasuke's actions could also be laid at the council's feet.
Naruto nodded to Raidou and Genma at the gate, not stopping to chat like he
otherwise might.
He was excited that he now held documents that would start that process in
motion. But it was the other set of documents in Naruto's pack that were going
to be the problem. The documents that were the first of many that Sai would
come back with.
Documents that laid out who the council's main supporters were, and what other
things they had done in the name of 'preserving peace'. If Tsunade had though
the council's reach was broad before, she was in for a hell of a surprise when
she realized just how deep it really was.
-xXx-
Sasuke lay naked and spent on his bed, tangled in dirty crimson sheets. The
past couple of days were a bit of a blur for him. His discovery of his latent
sexual desires had been almost overwhelming. The intensity with which those
feelings had seared through him had left him almost weak.
For some reason, the lust he had felt was somehow fueled by the anger that had
blossomed when he had learned that Naruto had gone on a mission with Sai.
The lust he was beginning to understand, but the anger was more concerning to
him. Part of his anger he recognized was pride. The fact that Tsunade evidently
still had S-rank missions that required the skills of two fairly high level
Shinobi (not that Sai was in his or Naruto's league, but the pale boy did seem
to have some skills with seals and things), but she still refused to even
consider asking Sasuke for anything.
Not that he didn't understand her reasoning. He had been a traitor to the
village for years, after all. But it still rankled.
But there was more to it than that.
Sasuke wasn't the best at introspection, but even he would acknowledge that a
much larger part of his anger had been the way Naruto had spoken Sai's name,
complete trust and respect coloring his voice.
Naruto liked going on missions with Sai.
Sasuke thought back to the missions that he and Naruto had gone on together as
children. The intense bonding that had occurred through having each other's
backs through life-and-death situations. The way one grows to know ones
teammate through the hours spent travelling together. Eating together. Sleeping
next to each other.
Sasuke's hand fisted at the thought.
Sleeping together at this age could entail different things than it had for him
and Naruto when they were young. Sasuke had never had any interest in sex
before. He had been too focused on trying to erase the nightmares from his mind
that Itachi had implanted, and focusing on killing first Orochimaru then Itachi
and finally Danzo while trying to avoid getting killed himself.
Nothing else had mattered to him.
But now…. Sasuke lay back against the pillows of his bed, and took another
drink from the sake bottle that was on his nightstand. His thoughts were
disrupted when he faintly registered a familiar chakra some distance away.
Naruto was back in the village.
He hoped Naruto was still a ninja of his word. He had promised he'd come to
Sasuke's house as soon as he finished his mission.
-xXx-
Naruto felt nearly delirious with the need for sleep when he left Tsunade's
office. Her eyes had widened, then hardened when she had read the contents of
the documents he had brought her. He had taken the most damning ones, but he
assured her that Sai and his team had others as well.
The documents were placed in the most heavily warded and guarded vault in
Konoha. No one but a Hokage could open it.
She had given her word that she would begin the process of clearing Itachi now.
It was made complicated by the fact that the people who were complicit with the
council and Danzo would be made aware that they were at risk once Itachi's name
was cleared. So Naruto had reluctantly agreed to wait until Sai and his team
had cleared the last hideout before they would begin the process, to ensure
that council allies didn't attack his team and try to prevent the rest of the
evidence of their activities from being brought to light. Tsunade had said that
- given the extent of the situation - they might even have to wait until key
arrests were made, lest some of the guilty parties simply vanish before they
could be apprehended. Most had the money and resources to do so.
Naruto had nodded wearily at that, hating it but understanding the reasons. He
had gotten what he wanted, even if it would be delivered more slowly than he
had hoped.
When he had asked if he could tell Sasuke, Tsunade had hesitated, but
eventually said no. Sasuke was simply too unstable, and who knew what he might
do or say about the matter if he lost control while drunk?
Naruto hadn't agreed. Had said nothing at all. Tsunade had noted the silence
but didn't push. In the end, she would trust Naruto's judgement. He would be
the next Hokage. And no one knew the Uchiha better than the man standing before
her.
She had dismissed him, telling him to go home and sleep then report back the
next morning to discuss the situation further.
Naruto was brought out of his thoughts when he reached the desolation of the
Uchiha Clan grounds.
Before he could sleep, he had promised he'd go see Sasuke. It was eleven
o'clock in the morning, but he had no idea if the nin would be up yet or not.
It probably depended on whether or not he'd been drinking the night before.
Naruto shifted uncomfortably at the thought.
Seeing Sasuke drunk was…
Naruto blew out a breath. He would not take advantage of the situation. Just
because his feelings had changed about Sasuke, it did not give him the right to
do anything about it when Sasuke was in that condition.
Naruto knocked on the door, but didn't hear a response. He checked but found no
new tags or seals on the door, so he slowly opened it and went inside.
The kitchen looked fairly clean, but walking further into the house Naruto saw
empty bottles of sake, and a misplaced jar of some sort of spice paste that
Naruto didn't recognize in Sasuke's livingroom.
"Sasuke, you bastard! I'm not your fucking maid. Get your ass out here and help
me clean up!"
Naruto heard a slight laugh coming from Sasuke's bedroom, but no sound of
Sasuke actually coming out to help. Too tired to deal with cleaning up Sasuke's
shit right now, Naruto headed into Sasuke's bedroom.
The scent of sex hit his senses like a ton of bricks. Naruto had always had a
heightened sense of smell, though not as developed as the Inuzuka clan. Whether
it was from the Kyuubi or simply a trait of his ancestors he wasn't sure. But
at that moment he wished more than anything that he didn't know what Sasuke had
evidently been doing while Naruto had been off clearing Itachi's name.
Though even without the scent, there was no mistaking the disheveled state
Sasuke was in nor the telltale stains on his sheets. Naruto felt a bitter
jealousy swirl through him. He closed his eyes and drew a breath, trying to
hold back the mental images that the scent evoked in him. The empty sake
bottles on his nightstand explained why Sasuke was simply lounging back against
the pillows, his cheeks slightly flushed, and eyes amused and heavy lidded.
Naruto forced himself to not think about Sasuke drinking and fucking someone in
those crimson sheets. And he tried not to wonder who it was. He dug his nails
into his palms, knowing he had no right to be angry or jealous. Sasuke could
have sex with whomever he wanted. There was no relationship between Naruto and
Sasuke… there was barely a friendship. And Tsunade had hinted at one point that
sex would actually be good for Sasuke, but he just didn't seem to be
interested. Evidently that had now changed. Jealousy ate into Naruto at the
thought.
The red bedsheet barely covered Sasuke's thighs and groin, but most of his
torso and lower legs were bare, leaving Naruto with no misunderstanding that he
was naked beneath the sheet.
"It stinks in here. Go wash yourself off. I'll clean the sheets." More than
anything, Naruto just wanted to erase the presence of whomever had shared
Sasuke's bed. He wanted to burn the sheets, not wash them.
Sasuke snickered and Naruto realized the man was still drunk. "I would have
thought traveling with Jiraya for so long would have made you less of a prude,
Dobe," Sasuke taunted.
Naruto felt an almost uncontrollable urge to grab Sasuke by the shoulders and
shake him. Sasuke was supposed to be untouchable. The evidence that someone had
been touching him seemed to burn Naruto's soul.
He turned and headed towards the bathroom before he did something he'd regret.
"I'll get the shower going. Get your ass out of bed and into the shower, or so
help me Sasuke I'll drag you there naked and throw you in. We're cleaning this
room now."
Sasuke lay back, feeling the room pleasantly spinning. Naruto was really angry.
Sasuke wasn't sure why, but it made him incredibly happy. He heard the sound of
his shower being turned on.
Truth be told, he wouldn't mind a shower. Being covered in his own cum was not
entirely pleasant. He stretched his arms over his head, pressing them against
the wall and arching his back slightly to relieve the aches in his muscles.
He opened his eyes to find Naruto's hooded gaze fixed on him. There was that
same dark look that Sasuke had noticed when they were sparring. He felt the
same coil of anticipation swirl through him as he felt before battle. Beneath
the sheets, he felt his groin stir.
The idea of fighting and fucking seemed to bring the same heat to his body and
focus to his mind. Sasuke didn't let his mind linger on whether that thought
should be disturbing.
He locked his gaze on Naruto, feeling an almost primal surge of heat at the
intensity of the blue depths. Wanting to see more of Naruto's reaction, Sasuke
casually pushed the sheet aside and stood, flaunting his nudity, his movements
surprisingly fluid despite the spinning of the room.
He saw Naruto's eyes drop to his half-hardened cock. The slow blush that spread
across Naruto's cheekbones seemed to drive an answering heat in his own blood.
His brain, fogged by the alcohol, reveled in the anger and hunger that seared
out of Naruto's eyes. Sasuke wanted more of it. .
It was the first thing that Sasuke had truly wanted in months. He saw no reason
not to pursue it.
"Go wash off," Naruto said, ripping his gaze from Sasuke and turning back to
the hallway.
Sasuke felt his lips twitch. He let his gaze slide down Naruto's back to his
ass, covered in the dirty Anbu uniform.
He followed Naruto out, only weaving slightly. He didn't want Naruto to walk
away yet. And he had always been able to find the right buttons to push on
Naruto to make him engage. "Since when did you become Anbu? I didn't even know
you'd made it past Genin."
As Sasuke had hoped, Naruto turned to look at him before quickly snapping his
head back to look somewhere else. Sasuke walked into the bathroom and stepped
into the running shower. He didn't bother pulling the shower curtain closed,
not caring if some of the spray wet the tiled floor of his bathroom.
"Well?" Sasuke prodded tersely.
Naruto huffed, but walked into the bathroom just far enough for them to be able
to talk. Sasuke hid his smirk by leaning forward slightly and letting the water
pull his hair over his face.
"I only wear Anbu gear when I go on missions that require it. I'm not
technically part of Anbu, but Baa-chan decided that my performance during the
war pretty much surpassed any of the tests she would have had. I don't know
what my official rank is. In a couple of years it won't matter anyway."
"Because you'll be Hokage," Sasuke supplied, reaching for the cake of soap and
applying some liberally to the washcloth that Naruto had thoughtfully set out
on the ledge of the shower area when he turned the water on for him. His head
was still slightly spinning, but not enough that he would lose his balance.
After all his years of training, he had found he was able to keep his balance
unless he was literally passing out.
Sasuke set the soap down and began washing himself with the lathered cloth. The
way Naruto's eyes followed the motion of the cloth over his neck and collarbone
sent a spike of heat through him. Sasuke felt the room tilt slightly as the
alcohol in his blood seemed to pulse with the heat from Naruto's eyes.
Sasuke leaned back into the corner of the shower stall, spreading his legs
slightly to gain a stronger foothold as he let the washcloth slide over his
pecs and abs, washing away the evidence of his first self-exploration of his
sexuality.
As his hand slid lower, he realized that sex was definitely more intense as a
two-person sport, even if one of them was just watching. Sasuke felt his shaft
harden under Naruto's gaze. He took the washcloth, sliding it around his
erection, not bothering to disguise the pumping motion of his hand.
Naruto jerked his gaze away, turning his back on Sasuke with a strangled noise.
"The fuck, Teme! Don't do that shit in front of me. I know you've been living
alone for a long time, but shit!"
Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the shower wall,
laughing slightly at the near panicked sound in Naruto's voice. The steam from
the water was swirling through the bathroom, making his breath feel slightly
labored.
Sasuke heard a small groan and realized it was from his own throat. He opened
his eyes just enough to take in the rigid posture of his former teammate, the
visual stimulus adding even more tension to his already aching cock.
He wanted more… somehow the cloth alone was not giving him what he needed.
"So who…" Naruto cut himself off, not able to actually ask the question of who
Sasuke had finally allowed in his bed. Naruto decided he probably didn't really
want to know. The sound of Sasuke's labored breathing was making Naruto start
to lose his mind. He was so close. All Naruto would have to do was take two
steps and he'd be able to...
Get out, get out, get out, get out. The warning chanted in Naruto's brain. He
couldn't withstand this. He was going to break any second and… he drew a
breath. "You… finish up there. I'm going to go change your sheets."
"Ung, Naruto," Sasuke's voice was slightly hoarse. He let the washcloth fall to
the floor of the shower with a wet sound, his bare hand continuing to work his
erection.
Naruto's head had turned back to look at Sasuke when the man had said his name.
Naruto never knew his dick could get instantly hard, but intense straining of
his pants assured him that he had somehow managed it. And if he kept watching,
he was pretty sure he was going to cum. The sight of Sasuke's hand on his
engorged shaft, looking at him with heavy lidded eyes was by far the most
erotic thing he had ever seen. And given the number of years that Naruto had
spent traveling with Jiraya, that was really saying something.
Naruto stumbled backward, unable to turn his gaze away but knowing he had to
stop himself from watching. If Sasuke were sober, none of this would be
happening. Naruto quickly made a shadow clone to go and change the sheets while
he turned to go to empty the living room of the empty sake bottles that had put
Sasuke in this state to begin with.
"Wait…" Sasuke panted. "Stay…"
Naruto could hear the slight slurring of Sasuke's words, another reminder of
exactly why he needed to get the fuck out of there.
"Naruto…"
There was a pleading tone that he had never even imagined could come out of
Sasuke's mouth and it froze Naruto in his tracks. He felt his body turning back
to look even though his brain was screaming at him not to. Sasuke was leaning
against the wall with his eyes closed, head back and fisting his cock. The
sight was like a punch in the gut to Naruto. His breath was expelled in a rush
and his knees almost buckled under the crushing weight of desire that burned
through his system.
Sasuke opened his eyes and his hooded gaze was locked on Naruto's, asking him
to do something that Naruto knew he should not do.
He took a single step back into the bathroom, unable to stop himself.
"Sasuke," Naruto knew that his voice sounded almost like a whimper but he
couldn't get control of his vocal cords. "You don't want this. You're just…"
Sasuke smirked, slowing the motion of his hand almost to a stop as he lifted
his heavy dick up and ran his fingers lightly over the head. "I think it's more
than clear that I do want this, Usuratonkachi. Isn't this what you came here to
do in the first place?"
Naruto blinked. "What?"
"This is what Tsunade told you to do. That's what Sakura said when she tried
it."
Naruto could barely hear the words that Sasuke was saying as he tracked the
lazy movements of the pale hand over the angry, red cock. The sly voice in
Naruto's head told him that Sasuke was right… this could absolutely be
considered doing what Tsunade had said. As long as they didn't actually…
Naruto didn't realize that he had already closed the distance to the edge of
the shower stall. Sasuke's hand flashed out and fisted into Naruto's hair,
dragging him fully clothed into the hot stream of the shower, while Sasuke's
other arm snaked around Naruto's waist, sliding their bodies fully flush.
The blatant aggression and flash of pain at Sasuke's roughness caused Naruto's
brain to completely cease functioning. He slid his hands up over Sasuke's
shoulders into his hair, crushing their mouths together. Neither of them had
any experience kissing, except for their accidental kisses years ago. But they
both had plenty of practice in aggression and coordinating their body
movements, and it wasn't long before their tongues were thrusting against each
other, tracing along the other's teeth, mouths sucking and biting.
Sasuke thrust his hips up against Naruto's, desperate to relieve the almost
unbearable pressure that was building between his thighs.
"Sasuke, let me…" Naruto broke from their kiss, ignoring the sound of protest
from Sasuke as he slid down the other's naked body and knelt, his face now
directly in front of Sasuke's dripping cock.
At that moment, Naruto wanted to simply strip off his clothes and drive into
Sasuke more than he had ever wanted anything before in his life. But he knew
that he was not here for his own pleasure. Sasuke needed contact, and he needed
release. And that was what Naruto would give him. He had read and seen the
basic act of oral sex enough times to know that it would bring more pleasure
than his hand would.
Ignoring the unpleasant sensation of his sodden clothes restricting his
movements, Naruto wrapped his fingers over Sasuke's, enclosing Sasuke's shaft
with their combined hands and slowing the frantic motion of the pale hand.
"Shhh…" Naruto said as Sasuke choked out another sound of need. Naruto twisted
his hand around the base of Sasuke's cock as he brought his face forward and
gently, almost lovingly, nuzzled the erection and drawing in a deep breath,
memorizing Sasuke's unique scent, feeling it imprint on his brain in a way that
was almost frightening.
"Ngh," Sasuke arched his hips forward, pressing his cock forcefully against
Naruto's face.
Naruto wanted to unzip his own pants and release his painfully hard erection,
but forced himself to only focus on Sasuke.
The shower had already wet their bodies, so Naruto had no problem pulling
Sasuke's slickened erection into his mouth.
"Oh, god, fuck!" Sasuke groaned.
Naruto shuddered at the sound that was ripped from Sasuke's throat. Knowing
that it was him who was driving Sasuke to lose control in a way Naruto had
never imagined Sasuke even could.
Sasuke found himself panting and cursing at the unfamiliar sensation of someone
else touching his shaft… and the knowledge that it was Naruto kneeling between
his legs doing this to him. His earlier self-ministrations paled in comparison
to what he was feeling now. He vaguely understood now what everyone was always
talking about when they went on and on about getting a blow job, but any
ability to think further was stripped away as Naruto started to suck.
Naruto drew on everything he'd ever read or been told as Jiraya's disciple. If
he was going to do this, he would do it with all possible skill. Uzumaki Naruto
never did things halfway. He worked the base of Sasuke's erection with his hand
while he used his tongue to trace along the underside of the ridge of the head.
The sharp hiss of breath from Sasuke when Naruto dipped his tongue into the
slit at the tip made Naruto chuckle. The vibrations of the sound traveled up
Sasuke's cock, making him thrust more forcefully into Naruto's mouth.
Naruto's hands quickly gripped Sasuke's hips as he tried to slow their motion,
forcing his throat to relax and thanking his voracious eating habits for having
dulled his gag reflex from years of downing ramen as fast as humanly possible.
Sasuke's whole body was shaking, pale hands now splayed out against the tile
wall as though to keep himself from sliding down.
Remembering one of the things he had read that always seemed to be rather
unbelievable as a pleasure source, Naruto removed one of his hands from
Sasuke's hips. Sasuke's legs were helpfully braced wide, allowing Naruto to
first take Sasuke's balls and roll them slightly before taking two of his
fingers and sliding them further back, massaging first the sensitive area
between his balls and his ass. He thought about continuing further back, but
Sasuke's hands had shifted again, nearly pulling out Naruto's hair in their
sudden vice grip.
"Aghn, Naruto!" and Sasuke was cumming, leg's braced wide and head thrown back,
his whole body arched in pleasure. Naruto choked slightly at the unexpected
rush of Sasuke's seed into his throat, but he kept sucking and swallowing until
the last tremor was finished. Sasuke's knees gave way and he slid to the floor
of the shower, looking dazed..
Naruto looked down at where Sasuke lay panting, black eyes glazed with satiated
lust. Naruto's hand shook, and it took every ounce of willpower that Naruto had
to simply turn off the water and throw Sasuke a towel. And step back.
Sasuke lazily arched a brow at him. "You're still hard."
Of course Sasuke would notice. "Yeah. And you're still drunk. I haven't slept
in three days. I'm going home to shower and sleep."
"You could do both of those things here."
Naruto wondered if Sasuke really had no idea of how much effort it was taking
Naruto to hold himself back right now. His whole body was literally shaking
with repressed need. "No. I really couldn't."
With that, Naruto turned, still dripping wet, and headed back to his apartment.
He dispelled his clone and was glad to know that at least Sasuke would have
clean sheets. There was no way he could go back there to finish cleaning up.
-xXx-
to be continued…
 
note: since there is some confusion on this, Naruto can smell sex (= scent of
arousal and cum in the room) but he isn't like Kiba where he can identify an
certain individual's scent. Like... normal people can smell sex but not know
which two people were fucking. He just is more sensitive to the scent.
***** Sober *****
-xXx-
Naruto stood in the freezing shower and tried to shut his brain off. He
supposed he should consider himself lucky that he never caught colds, given
that he had walked home soaking wet in the cool air and now was taking a cold
shower on top of it. Unconsciously he flexed the fingers of his right hand,
feeling them go slightly numb. Probably with cold.
The cold wasn't helping. Nothing was helping.
He couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened in Sasuke's shower. It
wasn't like he'd never fantasized about someone before. Being the proofreader -
and sometimes even ghostwriter - for Ero Senin's porn gave him ample knowledge
of almost every sex act imaginable. Jiraya hadn't been a Sanin for nothing.
Naruto knew just what to do with tongue and teeth and lips and hips to give
proper appreciation to most parts of a human body. Just because he'd never
actually done any of it in reality didn't mean he wasn't well-versed in the
theory. So of course he had fantasized about things, occasionally. He was a
teenage boy.
A few times, he had thought of Sakura. But somehow those imaginings always
ended abruptly with images of her punching him in the head and screeching at
him, destroying any sort of sexual arousal about the whole scenario.
But it was so different with Sasuke. Instead of just imagining it, Naruto now
actually had some real life visuals to replay in his mind. And holy shit, he
couldn't seem to turn them off. He felt like every synapse in his brain had
been reprogrammed to just store images of Sasuke naked in the shower. The way
the water had clung to his skin. The way his lips had parted slightly as he
panted. The way his eyes had looked both dangerous and aroused at the same
time.
Naruto felt his cock strain further at just the thought and cursed.
Hell, even the thought of Sasuke possibly taking a swing at him while Naruto
pressed him up against the shower wall made Naruto's cock leak. Naruto thumped
his forehead against the shower tiles and groaned. His body was shivering from
the cold, but his hard-on showing no signs of dissipating.
Giving up on getting rid of his erection by freezing it, he turned the shower
temperature back up and grabbed the soap. He braced his legs slightly further
apart and leaned back against the tiles as his hand closed over his erection.
He realized he was standing in roughly the same position Sasuke had been. As
though their positions were now reversed. And that though triggered a mental
image of Sasuke kneeling on his shower floor with his lips around Naruto's
cock, which sent Naruto into an instant climax.
"Fffuuuuccckkk!" Naruto gasped.
Now he had a new mental image that was seared into his brain. He had solved one
problem, but had definitely created another. And the worst of it was that when
Sasuke sobered up, he might not even remember that anything had happened at
all. Or he might remember it, and be pissed as hell that Naruto had not just
left when he found Sasuke drunk and naked in his bed. And honestly, Naruto
couldn't blame him. He had never felt so angry at himself. But goddammit! He
had tried. But he was only human, and he just… Sasuke was so...
Naruto sighed in frustration.
He was so tired and overwhelmed at the moment he was not able to even begin to
sort out what he was going to do the next time he saw Sasuke - assuming the man
didn't simply chidori him for taking advantage of him while he was drunk.
Naruto toweled himself off roughly and pulled on a pair of orange boxers, then
crossed to his bed and flopped down on it, dragging the sheet over his body but
too tired to go find the blanket that he must have kicked on the floor at some
point.
He was asleep within seconds
-xXx-
Sasuke had lay in the shower after Naruto had left simply letting his body ride
the slowing ebbing wave of his climax high. He couldn't remember a time when he
had felt this satisfied or relaxed. His mind was still hazed with pleasure and
he saw no reason to cut it short by moving or thinking.
Even the drugs hadn't made him feel this good.
When he finally started to shiver from cold, he stood and grabbed a towel. He
rubbed it through his hair first, then wiped the water from his arms and chest.
He sucked a breath in through his teeth as he ran the soft towel over his groin
which was still sensitized from Naruto's ministrations. The sensation brought
back vivid memories of exactly what had just transpired in his shower.
The force of his orgasm had taken him by surprise... the extreme pleasure
something he had never experienced before. Just the memory of Naruto's mouth
and hands on him made his blood heat again and his groin stirred slightly. He
wanted it to happen again. It was the first thing he could honestly say he
wanted since the ending of the war. Since probably much longer than that. He
hadn't let himself want anything pleasurable since he had stood there, shaking
and crying while his brother forced the memories into his mind about his clan's
death. At that moment, Sasuke had felt that everything except vengeance inside
of him had died.
When Naruto had walked into Sasuke's bedroom and the clear blue eyes had
darkened with anger and lust, Sasuke had wanted something to happen. All
residual thoughts of Itachi, the council, his clan, everything had been pushed
aside in that single moment. Sasuke had simply wanted Naruto to keep watching
him. The focus he had always found soothing as a child had grown somehow
darker, more potent… stronger.
And when Naruto had finally crossed the small bathroom to be within his reach,
Sasuke had not hesitated. His body had known what it wanted, and his mind had
been compliant, watching almost passively as he had grabbed Naruto and dragged
his body against his own under the stream of the shower and kissed him.
Sasuke rubbed his thumb harshly across his lips as his mind recreated that
first moment of contact. He had had no idea that the experience would have been
so intense, but now that he did…
He was not going to back away from it. Not from the first thing that had made
him actually feelsomething other than hatred or the adrenaline rush of battle.
He hadn't really thought there was any other emotion left inside him. He still
wasn't sure that there was enough left to mean anything. But this was a start.
It was something.
Sasuke hung his towel on the hook in his bathroom and walked naked to his
bedroom. He pulled on a pair of soft, cotton pants then lay down on the fresh
sheets that he assumed one of Naruto's clones had thoughtfully changed for him.
Or not so thoughtfully, Sasuke thought with some amusement, recalling the
jealous anger Naruto had expressed at finding Sasuke in cum-soaked sheets in
his bedroom.
He remembered his own reaction to that anger. It had made Sasuke feel…
powerful. Aggressive. He had wanted Naruto to want him in that moment. And to
his surprise, Naruto had. He wondered if it really should have been that much
of a surprise, but that would be a thought to pursue later, when his mind was
clear from drink and sex.
Even without the sharingan, Sasuke possessed a nearly photographic memory. He
assumed it was due to the increased genetic link between the eyes and the brain
of most Uchihas. It served at times as both a blessing and a curse. It was easy
to replay your actions and their consequences over and over in your mind with
perfect clarity when your brain automatically recorded every detail.
Sasuke could remember the way Naruto's pupils had dilated when he had watched
him masturbate in the shower, just as they had when they had been locked
together on the battlefield. Sasuke recognized that look now. It was one he had
seen on countless others, but never on Naruto. It was lust.
Naruto's nostrils had flared just slightly as though he had been trying to draw
in more of Sasuke's scent.
And he had felt the shudders in Naruto's body as they had kissed in his shower.
The tremors that had wracked Naruto's body when he had knelt between Sasuke's
thighs and sucked his dick.
Sasuke shifted on the bed, his fingers fisting into the sheets. The exchange in
the shower had been a bit one-sided. Sasuke definitely wanted to even the
score.
The dark look Naruto had sent him when he had said he had to leave… was more
than friendship.
In at least that moment, Naruto had wanted him. And potentially had wanted him
when they had sparred earlier, though Sasuke could not be sure. The lust for
battle and the lust for sex were similar, at least to Sasuke. And in their
case, perhaps combined. The thought of what that could translate to had
Sasuke's hips flexing slightly. He slid his hand down to the edge of his pants,
but not inside.
He'd experimented fully with masturbation. He knew now it was a pale comparison
to what could be. And he had never been willing to settle for second best in
anything.
Sasuke felt a flash of annoyance that Naruto had gone home. He knew that the
blond shinobi had been tired. The lines of fatigue had been etched on his face.
But he also knew that tiredness had not been the reason Naruto had all but run
from Sasuke's home.
Sasuke smiled cynically. Naruto had left because he was still trying to be a
'good friend'. He assumed that just because Sasuke had been drinking he didn't
know what he wanted. Which was bullshit. Sasuke knew exactly what he wanted
now.
And he also knew that Naruto wanted it, too. Or at least had wanted it this
morning. But in order for that to happen, he needed to break Naruto from his
mantra of 'just friends'. It had never really rung true, anyway. Sasuke had
always been dissatisfied with Naruto's weak explanations for his fixation on
Sasuke. He had seen Naruto's other friendships, and they didn't go as far or as
deep. Naruto had been willing to go against all his friends to come after
Sasuke again and again, even fight them if it meant preventing them from trying
to kill Sasuke.
But Naruto had never really been able to explain why he wouldn't give up on
Sasuke. Everyone else had given up on him. Everyone.
Even himself.
It had bothered Sasuke that he never could find a believable reason for Naruto
to pursue him so relentlessly. Friendship? No. Friendship was not enough. But
what had just happened was clearly more than friendship. Sasuke had seen the
stark lust and worship in Naruto's eyes as he had watched Sasuke in the shower,
and had felt the possessiveness in the blond's gaze. Seen a glimpse of a darker
side to Naruto's obsession for him that he had not seen or at least not
recognized before.
Sasuke shifted his legs slightly wider apart at the thought, feeling a smug
sense of power at knowing that the man who would be Hokage, the man people now
spoke of as this pure sort of savior to the village, wanted him. Had dropped to
his knees and sucked Sasuke's cock like it was the only source of water and he
was dying of thirst.
And that alone was revenge against the village of a sort. They had all tried to
turn Naruto against him. Sasuke laughed darkly. But they had no idea of what
the bond really was between the two boys. But Sasuke finally did. He finally
understood.
He was not unfamiliar with people wanting to possess him sexually. He had been
the object of obsessive desires from both men and women since he could
remember. But it had never been reciprocated. Never triggered and equal sense
of possessiveness in return.
Sasuke had no trouble acknowledging that what he felt was definitely
possessiveness towards Naruto. The idea of Naruto with anyone else in that way
made Sasuke's sharingan activate. He had no idea if Naruto were sexually
experienced. Or potentially even in some sort of relationship, though he
guessed Sakura would have told him if he were.
But from what Sasuke knew of Naruto, he doubted that Naruto had ever had a
serious relationship. Sasuke drew a slow breath. Naruto was too damaged. Like
him. Neither one was really able to let someone else in. Not that close. Naruto
had lived years of growing up knowing his body was the only barrier between the
village and a demon that had wanted to destroy it.
He was used to being hated for what was inside him, and had grown up not
knowing the reason for the hatred, having every effort at reaching out to
people be rebuffed harshly with scorn and derision. It would be hard for Naruto
to make any sort of move to try to have a relationship outside of the normal
teammate interactions.
Sasuke felt the old anger surge back up as he thought of what the village that
Naruto always fought so hard to protect had done to their 'hero' as a child.
How quickly they had all been willing to pretend like it had never happened and
just move on, allowing Naruto to put himself at risk for their safety again and
again. And Naruto always did so without hesitation. Never called them to
account for what they had done.
Sasuke wasn't sure he could ever be that forgiving. Or, to be perfectly
accurate, he was completely sure that he could never be that forgiving. Many of
the village hated him for what he had done. And hated his brother and their
whole clan because of the lies that they had been fed. Sasuke viewed the
villagers with complete contempt for their seemingly endless ability to hate
without reasoning, and never face the consequences. Mindless sheep.
He wasn't here for them. They didn't matter.
He had come back to Konoha because Naruto had made him. And he had stayed
because he hadn't found anything to make the effort of leaving worth it. He was
an infamous S-ranked criminal. His looks were easily recognizable, making
living in another village no better than the one that he currently resided in.
And this village had the one person that Sasuke found any value in.
The one person who had ever understood him, even slightly. More perhaps than
even Itachi had been able to, in the end.
Naruto had said he had left because Sasuke was drunk. That was easily fixable.
Sasuke knew that Naruto had not been kidding when he had said he was going to
go and sleep. There was no sense in rushing things. Sasuke would sleep it off.
Then go find Naruto.
There were things he needed to discuss with his 'best friend'.
-xXx-
Naruto lay in his bed. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, but something
had woken him up. His right arm now felt completely numb. He must have slept on
it funny.
He opened his eyes to see Sasuke leaning against the wall watching him, face
unreadable. Naruto searched to find any sign of anger. Clearly the fact that
Sasuke was in his apartment again meant that Sasuke remembered at least part of
what had happened. Naruto wasn't sure if that would end up being a good thing
or a bad thing. But Sasuke's face already looked less drawn… his eyes less dead
than what Naruto had seen in years. Maybe there was something to what Tsunade
had said after all. Not able to bear the silence anymore, Naruto broke it.
"This is becoming a habit. You showing up in my bedroom and being creepy while
I sleep," Naruto said, trying to make a joke. He was not awake enough to handle
this confrontation. If it was going to be a confrontation. He still couldn't
tell.
Sasuke stood there looking like it was the most natural place for him to be,
standing fully clothed in Naruto's bedroom while Naruto was once again in just
his boxers.
"You came to my bed, so I figured it was fine if I came to yours."
Naruto couldn't help the heat he felt flame up along his neck and cheekbones at
Sasuke's words. He couldn't have meant it the way it sounded but Naruto
couldn't help the choking cough that emerged from his throat.
He caught a slight gleam of amusement in the black gaze, which was
disconcertingly awake and alert, unlike what Naruto felt like. Clearly, Sasuke
had sobered up. And wanted to talk.
Naruto flexed his fingers on his right hand again as he sat up, annoyed that it
was still stinging numbly.
"Did you injure your hand?" Sasuke asked, as always able to read even a subtle
show of weakness in a potential opponent.
Naruto scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "Just slept funny."
Sasuke blew out a derisive breath.
"What, like you are such a perfect fucking ninja you never sleep funny?" Naruto
asked feeling slightly annoyed. Sasuke was always able to get him feeling like
they were competing. Evidently even with sleep positions.
Sasuke just arched a brow, then levered himself away from the wall and walked
into the small kitchen area. Naruto stared blankly after him, hearing water
running. Was Sasuke… staying for… Naruto glanced at the clock in his room and
saw it was around midnight. … dinner? Naruto had slept for twelve hours. Now
his sleep schedule would be all fucked up because Sasuke had woken him up
rather than letting him sleep until dawn as Naruto had planned. Which begged
the question of why Sasuke was here, casually doing something in Naruto's
kitchen in the middle of the night.
The sound of the water running made Naruto realize that he had matters of a
personal nature to attend to. He walked to the bathroom, grabbing a T-shirt and
sweatpants as he went. Had Sasuke given him privacy because he knew Naruto
needed to…
No. He wasn't going to sit around wondering if Sasuke could tell when he needed
to take a piss. Fuck, he wasn't even really awake yet. He relieved himself then
washed his hands, splashing some cold water on his face and hoping his brain
would wake up.
Sasuke was in his apartment and Naruto had no idea why or what to expect. But
he figured clothing was always a good thing, so he pulled on his shirt and
pants and padded barefoot out to the kitchen to find Sasuke cooking some rice
on the single burner stove.
"So after your old place got leveled by Pein, you didn't want to upgrade?"
Sasuke asked casually as he put the lid on the only pot Naruto owned.
Naruto shrugged. "It's not like I do a lot of entertaining. I'm hardly home
anyway, and when I am it's just me. All I do here is sleep. It seemed a waste
to get a bigger place."
Sasuke nodded as he rummaged through the cupboards.
"Um… are you cooking me dinner?"
Sasuke shot him a hard look. "You cleaned up my place twice. I figured I can
make you a meal when I know you didn't eat all day."
Naruto's mind raced. Should he bring up what had happened in Sasuke's shower
that morning? What did Sasuke even remember? He didn't seem angry. He didn't
seem… Naruto fought the urge to smash his head into the table. He had no idea
what he was supposed to say right now.
He looked up to see Sasuke observing him with some amusement. Naruto's eyes
immediately narrowed as all nervousness fled. Fucking Uchiha.
"Was it because of what Tsunade told you to do?" Sasuke asked abruptly, his
voice definitely less casual than when he had asked about Naruto's apartment.
Naruto froze. He knew that he needed to answer this question carefully.
Sasuke's expression gave nothing away about what he thought about the
situation. Was he angry? Disgusted? Curious?
Naruto took a slow breath, pouring himself a glass of water to give himself
something to do. "You mean… this morning when…"
"When you gave me head in my shower. Yes."
Naruto managed to not drop the glass. Just barely. "I…" Naruto looked at
Sasuke's face, frantically searching for what he should say that would not end
in Sasuke activating the sharingan or trying to behead him. "Sasuke, I just…
you looked… and I…"
"Did you do it because Tsunade told you to," Sasuke repeated, taking a step
closer, his voice hardening.
Naruto felt pinned by the intensity in Sasuke's eyes. He gave the only answer
he could. "No."
Sasuke slowly closed the distance, not breaking eye contact. He reached out,
brushing his fingers against Naruto's as he took the glass from the nerveless
tan fingers and set it on the kitchen table. "Good," Sasuke said, his voice low
as he slid a hand around the back of Naruto's neck and slowly drawing him
forward until their lips brushed against each other.
Naruto could smell the mint of Sasuke's breath, and no trace of alcohol. He
briefly wondered if he were still asleep or had somehow managed to trap himself
in a genjustu because he was pretty sure that this was not possible. But
Sasuke's lips came down with more force, and Naruto found himself pulling
Sasuke closer and deepening the kiss.
"Sasuke…" Naruto breathed out, something between a question and a prayer.
Sasuke simply pulled Naruto's mouth back against his, opening their mouths even
wider. He didn't want to talk about what was happening. He wanted the
escalation that had happened before that had wiped his mind clean. He had woken
up alone in his bed, hung over again. But unlike every other morning since he
had arrived back in Konoha, he had something he wanted to accomplish when he
woke up. He wanted to find Naruto, and see how much of what he had felt had
been amplified by the alcohol and how much was real. And he had wanted to know
if Naruto had done it because he had to, or because he wanted to.
When he felt Naruto's hands dig into his hips, felt the heat that flooded
through his blood, his growing erection pressing against an answering hardness
in Naruto, he knew the answer to both questions.
His mind went blissfully blank except for the feel of the burning points of
contact between his body and Naruto's. It was better than alcohol or the opium
when he was with Naruto like this. He breathed out a shaky breath as Naruto's
hands slid up over his back, fisting into his shirt and tugging it slightly
before stopping. He could feel a tremor run through Naruto's arms, and realized
that the blond was trying to hold himself back.
Sasuke lifted his mouth from Naruto's breaking their kiss, and looked down into
blue eyes that looked back at him almost desperate with desire.
"You said you stopped last time because I was drunk," Sasuke said, running his
thumb down the front of Naruto's T-shirt until it reached the hem. He slid his
fingers under the edge, letting the tips of his fingers brush against the flat,
taut stomach beneath it. He felt the muscles clench beneath his touch.
"I'm clearly sober. So why are you holding back?" Sasuke persisted, slowly
sliding one hand up over Naruto's chest, wondering why it felt so good to touch
another person in this way. It was just skin and bone and muscle, but…
Naruto sucked in a sharp breath as Sasuke's fingertips happened to brush across
his nipple. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the sound, and he repeated the motion
with more force.
"Fuck, Sasuke," Naruto said, banging his head back against the wall as he tried
to get his brain to engage.
Sasuke smirked, this time using his calloused thumb to rub against the nub,
then rolled it between his fingers. A male nipple was not something he had ever
considered as an object of interest in the past. It served no purpose in terms
of a reproductive function. But watching Naruto bite his lip and choke back a
groan at his touch made him suddenly very interested in what other touches to
that part of Naruto's body would do.
He roughly grabbed the bottom of Naruto's shirt and yanked it off him. Naruto
stood there for a moment, letting Sasuke look at him. Naruto wanted to remove
Sasuke's clothing as well, but he wasn't really sure what Sasuke wanted or how
far he wanted things to go. And he knew without a doubt that if Sasuke started
taking his clothing off, there was no way in hell Naruto would be able to stop.
"Sasuke…" Naruto began again, wanting to find some way of asking what Sasuke
really wanted with all this. He remembered Tsunade's words to let Sasuke set
the pace, and determine what he was comfortable with. Naruto was pretty sure
this wasn't what she'd had in mind, but he thought the advice was good
nonetheless. He didn't know what Sasuke needed. But he knew that he would be
whatever it was. Whatever Sasuke needed.
"No talking," Sasuke said, moving closer again, rubbing his thumbs of both of
Naruto's nipples simultaneously, watching them harden and redden with the
abrasion. "Sensitive," he murmured, almost as though noting it to himself.
"No shit," Naruto gritted out, letting his head fall back slightly as Sasuke
bent down and experimentally swirled his tongue over one of the reddened nubs.
"Fuck!" Naruto said, his back arching somewhat.
Sasuke snickered. "Very sensitive. Just like a girl."
Naruto glared, already feeling the competitive streak that Sasuke always
brought out in him rearing up. He grabbed Sasuke by his shirt, jerking the
already gaping garment the rest of the way open and peeling it down off his
shoulders before shoving Sasuke back into the small bedroom.
"What would know about girls' nipples anyway?" Naruto growled.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but allowed Naruto to push him down on the bed.
"Probably about as much as you," Sasuke retorted.
Naruto paused in the act of pulling Sasuke's shirt out of his purple obi to
look at him, amusement and challenge lighting his eyes. "Oh, really?"
Naruto bent his head down to where Sasuke's nipple had been bared, throwing the
shirt off to the side. He gave a slow lick with the flat of his tongue, then
swirled around it with the tip before grazing his teeth along the sensitized
flesh.
Sasuke's dark eyes were fixed on the motion of Naruto's tongue over his flesh,
and he remembered earlier that morning that Naruto seemed to know some very
specific things to do with his tongue and teeth that felt amazingly good. He
narrowed his eyes. The actions of Naruto's tongue spoke of practice.
Sasuke's hand reached out and fisted into Naruto's hair, jerking him back from
what he had been doing despite the pleasure it had been bringing him.
"The fuck?" Naruto asked, looking at Sasuke warily. Had Sasuke decided he
didn't want this after all? Naruto didn't think there was enough cold water in
all of Konoha to kill his erection at this point.
"Who?" Sasuke bit out.
"What?" Naruto asked, struggling to get his brain to try to figure out what
Sasuke was asking.
"You said you knew more."
Naruto knew he shouldn't feel as much pleasure as he did at the look of
possessiveness that flashed in Sasuke's eyes. He grinned, and he thought he
briefly saw a flash of red in Sasuke's dark eyes. "Do you have any idea how
much porn I read under Ero Senin?"
Sasuke took in the full implication of what Naruto was saying. "So, you've
never…" Sasuke let the question trail off.
"No," Naruto said, blushing a bit but trying not to be embarrassed.
Sasuke's smirk reemerged briefly as he released his death grip on Naruto's
hair, but kept his hand behind Naruto's head and slowly pulled him down into a
kiss.
"Neither have I."
Naruto's head jerked back as looked at Sasuke. "But… last night… I saw your
bed."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but a slight blush dusted his cheeks. "I thought you
said you'd traveled with Jiraya. Surely you can figure it out, Dobe."
Naruto thought about what he had seen, and his eyes widened before he burst out
laughing. "Holy shit, Sasuke. I've definitely jacked off in my time but… damn,
that's hard core."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes again, his fingers tightening back in Naruto's hair as
he dragged the blond in for another kiss, this one much less gentle. Naruto
didn't even bother to resist. Instead, he focused on trying to remember
everything Jiraya had ever written about what felt good, and how to make your
partner scream with pleasure. He pressed his thumbs into the dips just above
Sasuke's hip bones as he slowly rocked their hips together.
Both boys gasped at the sensation. Sasuke was nothing if not a fast learner,
and he picked up the pace and force rapidly until they were both almost ready
to cum. Naruto gasped, not wanting it to end so quickly, and gripped Sasuke's
hips harshly to stop the motion.
Sasuke made a frustrated sound, but stopped as soon as he felt Naruto's hands
fumbling with the knot on his obi. Definitely in agreement that less clothing
would be a good idea that this point, he rapidly undid the drawstring of
Naruto's sweat pants.
"Fuck," Naruto cursed has he continued to struggle with the knot at Sasuke's
waist.
At first Sasuke assumed it was just nerves that was making Naruto slightly
uncoordinated, but as he looked down to where Naruto's hands were fumbling with
his belt, he realized that something was not right.
Without thinking, he activated his sharingan to observe Naruto's hand. "Naruto…
what the fuck did you do to your hand?"
For the first time, Naruto looked at the hand that had been bothering him since
he came back from his mission. He could see the faint discoloration of the
flesh there. And he remembered the seal that Danzo had left that he had thought
he had successfully disarmed.
Naruto tried to focus chakra into his hand, and hissed at the pain doing so
caused. Sasuke had not released his sharingan. "You need to go to the
hospital."
Naruto knew that he couldn't let word of the specific nature of his injury get
out. Danzo was known for his unique seals. People might find out what he was
working on. "No. I need to go to Tsunade."
Sasuke was already pulling his shirt on, his face tense. "Then let's go."
-xXx-
to be continued…
***** Missions *****
Warning: Yaoi (Boy x Boy), drug abuse, mental illness
Author's note: Thank you to CapturedByNoodles and WordWriter for their advice
and encouragement on this chapter. Love you ladies!
-xXx-
Naruto tried to focus chakra into his hand, and hissed at the pain doing so
caused. Sasuke had not released his sharingan. "You need to go to the
hospital."
Naruto knew that he couldn't let word of the specific nature of his injury get
out. Danzo was known for his unique seals. People might find out what he was
working on. "No. I need to go to Tsunade."
Sasuke was already pulling his shirt on, his face tense. "Then let's go."
Naruto hesitated. There would be no way to conceal what the nature of his
injury was if Sasuke came with him. And Sasuke was smart enough that he would
be able to quickly connect the dots and know what Naruto was up to.
Naruto walked to the kitchen and picked up his shirt, slowly pulling it on. He
could feel Sasuke's gaze on his back the entire time, and knew that his
hesitation and silence had been duly noted.
"Ok. Let's go then," Naruto said, turning to look directly at Sasuke.
Naruto saw some of the tension leave Sasuke's shoulders at his words. He had
clearly been braced for rejection and dismissal. Naruto gave him a lopsided
smile. He had always put his faith in Sasuke. He was too old to change that
now. Though he wasn't looking forward to Tsunade's reaction when he showed up
with Sasuke.
But he was rewarded by the smallest twitch of Sasuke's lips in return before he
turned and pulled the rice from the stove before it burned. They made their way
silently through the dark streets of Konoha to the Hokage's Tower.
-xXx-
Naruto signaled to the Anbu guards at the entrance as they approached. "We're
here to see Baa-chan," he said flatly. The men were used to Naruto having
basically free access to the Tower given Tsunade had been apprenticing him for
taking over the Hokage duties, but they tensed as they saw who was accompanying
him.
"We received no permission from Tsunade-sama that she would be receiving
visitors tonight," the man said, his gaze fixed coldly on Sasuke.
Naruto felt himself bristling at the hostile looks both Anbu were giving his
friend. He understood their reasons. But he didn't like it. It reminded him so
much of the same hostile, dead way that people used to look at him as a child.
The fear of something dangerous twisted into hatred by lack of understanding.
Sasuke simply ignored it, staring straight ahead. Clearly, this was not
surprising or new to him. Naruto took a breath, and pasted on a smile that
probably only Sasuke was able to recognize as fake. "Well, if you want to go
wake Baa-chan up and ask her, then we can just wait here until you get back.
But we have critical information that she needs to know, and I'm not going to
have my ass handed to me for waiting until morning to tell her. So it's your
choice. Either you wake her up, or we will."
Despite being Anbu, the two men flinched slightly. No one in their right mind
woke the Godaime Hokage up after she'd gone to sleep unless the village was
literally under attack. The guards glanced at each other, then stepped back to
allow Naruto and Sasuke to pass.
Naruto smirked. "That's what I thought."
Between the Fifth Hokage and the man who would be the Sixth, the guards figured
the Uchiha traitor would be contained even if he tried something. But one of
the guards still escorted the pair until they reached her chambers.
-xXx-
Naruto and Sasuke paused outside the elaborately paneled wooden doors. It was
one of the few buildings in Konoha that had been built to look exactly the same
as the original had before Nagato had destroyed the village. Naruto looked back
at Sasuke. "Ah.. you might want to stand back a bit. Let me be the one she sees
when she first opens the door."
Sasuke hesitated, then stepped back. Naruto blew out a breath and banged on the
door with full force. "Oi! Baa-chan!"
The Anbu guard vanished in a puff of smoke, not wanting to be in line of fire
when she came to the door. Ideally he didn't want to even be in the building.
Naruto continued to bang for almost a minute before the door was flung open,
and a slightly disheveled Tsunade stood there, glaring at him. She wore a thin
nightgown and robe that probably would have sent Jiraya into a fatal nosebleed
if he had been around to see it. The fleeting thought sent a pang of sadness
through Naruto at the same time it brought a slight smile to his lips.
"Unless you tell me that Pein has been resurrected and is about to flatten the
village again, you'd better start running, brat."
"Baa-chan," Naruto said, raising his hands in supplication as she raised her
finger threateningly. "I think I might not have disarmed one of the seals as
well as I thought."
Sasuke's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed at this, at the same time
Tsunade's hand froze and a look of concern crossed her face.
"Come in. The guards are not able to monitor conversation there." She turned to
head back into her room and caught sight of Sasuke. "Naruto…" she said
warningly.
"He was the one who noticed the problem with my hand," Naruto said, mentally
digging his heels in if Tsunade were going to ask Sasuke to leave.
"Is that why he activated his sharingan?"
Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance at the news that she had been informed
about that. Hopefully, whichever Anbu had been following Sasuke had simply
noticed the chakra activation, and weren't close enough to know what else had
been going on in Naruto's apartment.
"Yes," Naruto said. "Are we going to discuss this in the hallway?"
Tsunade sighed, turning and walking into her room, allowing Naruto and Sasuke
to follow. Sasuke carefully closed the doors behind them. "Brat, you always
make things more complicated. But fine. Did you tell him how you got the
injury?"
"No," Naruto said, his voice expressionless. "You ordered me not to." He felt
Sasuke's intense gaze on him as he stood facing Tsunade.
She snorted. "So instead of telling him, you just brought him along so he can
figure it out himself. At some point we need to have a discussion about
following the spirit of the order, not just the letter." Naruto opened his
mouth to protest, but Tsunade stopped him. "I let him in, didn't I? Give me
your hand, then, brat. Let me see what's happening."
Tsunade ran her hands over Naruto's arm, allowing her chakra to penetrate his
flesh as she explored the nature of his wound. She gasped and drew her hands
back, her eyes widening.
"It's… it's some sort curse seal. It is similar in a way to the reaper seal
that the Third used on Orochimaru, but somehow this was embedded in the scroll
instead of used by an actual person." She brought her hands back with more
caution this time, probing again.
Naruto glanced at Sasuke and could see the gears turning in his friend's head.
There were not many shinobi who could use a seal like that. Fewer still who
would leave it as a trap in a scroll. Sasuke's face went blank as he began to
realize what might have happened.
"Yeah, but… you can you fix it, right?" Naruto asked, trying to sound
confident.
"I… am not sure," Tsunade said, still frowning in concentration as she
continued to probe the affected area with her chakra. "I'm doing what I can to
repair the damage, but I don't know how to stop it entirely. I've never seen
anything like this. Kurama's chakra is interfering with the sealing effect… if
it weren't, you would have lost the use of your entire arm by now. It looks
like it was designed to spread, eventually killing its victim, but luckily it
wasn't designed for Jinchuurikis. It wasn't able to progress beyond your hand."
"But… Kurama's chakra will keep that from happening, right?" Naruto said
slightly nervously. "I'm not going to lose the use of my hand?"
Tsunade bit her lip, then pulled her hands back. "I need to go and do some
research. Damn, Danzo," she cursed under her breath, but not so quietly that
the two shinobi in the room did not hear. Naruto looked at Tsunade, realizing
the slip was intentional. She wasn't exactly rescinding her order to Naruto not
to disclose the mission to Sasuke, but she had effectively just done so
herself.
"What can I do?" Naruto asked.
"No missions until this is resolved," Tsunade said firmly. "I'll summon Sai
back, but it will take him two days to get back. He knows more about fuijutsu
than almost anyone else, and he studied under Danzo. Though..." Tsunade looked
balefully at Naruto's arm. "... Danzo always kept his most powerful secrets
close to his chest. He was too afraid that he would be betrayed by them in the
end. Sai may or may not know anything about this." Tsunade slanted a glance at
Sasuke. "You apprenticed under Orochimaru. And you fought and defeated Danzo."
It was said with a mix of respect and condemnation. Sasuke acknowledged both.
"I know where most of Orochimaru's research on seals is. It's less than a day's
journey from the village. I might be able to find something." The irony of the
situation wasn't lost on him. Once again, he was leaving the village and
seeking out Orochimaru's knowledge because of something Danzo had set in
motion. The only difference was that this time, it was with the Hokage's
blessing.
"I'm going with you," Naruto said flatly.
Evidently Sasuke wasn't the only one recalling the last time this had happened.
"You're useless if you can't use your hand to make seals," Sasuke said. They
had no idea of the rate of acceleration of the cursed seal. Sasuke would prefer
that Naruto stay back with Tsunade where she could monitor him. Looking at the
blond ninja, though, Sasuke realized that it would be fruitless to argue the
point.
Naruto's eyes narrowed and hardened. "I'm still more useful than a nin who just
sat around drinking his ass off for three months without training."
Despite the situation, Sasuke felt his lips almost twitch into a smile. Some
things never changed. Sasuke implying that he was a better ninja than Naruto in
any circumstance would always provoke a reaction. Even with the Hokage's hat
all but resting on Naruto's head.
"Tch. Fine. Just don't get in the way," Sasuke said. He glanced over at Tsunade
to see her looking at them in amusement.
Her amusement faded, however when she began to speak. "Sasuke. I'm sure you've
realized the… delicacy of this situation. There are many people who would not
be pleased to learn that Danzo's personal information was being vetted. This is
an Anbu mission. There can be no breach of secrecy as to the nature of Naruto's
injury or what you are researching. No one can be allowed to find out what
about any aspect of this."
Sasuke stood absolutely still, but the air in the Hokage's private chamber
crackled with dark anger. Finally, he spoke. "No one knows better than I do the
nature of Danzo's dealings, and the danger of revealing them."
Tsunade said nothing, but her eyes softened a bit. It was true. No one in the
village had lost more than the boy standing before her to Danzo's agendas and
hidden machinations. Whatever else she could say about Sasuke or Itachi, Danzo
had been the one to set it all in motion. In the end, the blame lay at the dead
man's feet.
She watched the two childhood friends walk out of her office, noting the
slightly protective stance Sasuke took behind Naruto when they headed out. She
smiled slightly. As bad as the situation was, there appeared to be at least
some good that was coming out of it. The rogue nin who had at one point vowed
to destroy the village now appeared to be trying to protect the future Hokage.
-xXx-
Naruto and Sasuke walked through the village. They both needed to pack and
prepare for the journey to the hideout Sasuke had indicated was the most likely
place to find any information on the seal. Tsunade had summoned Shizune, and
would be conducting her own search in the Hokage library, though much had been
lost in the destruction by Pein.
It was approaching dawn, and some of the shopkeepers were making their way
through the streets to get ready for the day. Naruto saw the fearful and
sometimes scornful looks that they gave Sasuke. It made him angry, though
Sasuke didn't even appear to notice.
They had no idea what Sasuke had been put through 'for the sake of the
village'. They had no right to judge him. Naruto felt his fists clench, knowing
that there was nothing he could do at the moment, other than what he was
already doing. He would make the village understand what had been done to
Sasuke. And Itachi. He didn't agree with some of the choices they had made, but
when they had been manipulated so ruthlessly since childhood, had they ever
really had a chance?
Whatever Naruto would do as Hokage, whatever mistakes he knew he would at times
make, he would never hide from things the way the Third had. If a hard decision
had to be made, he would make it and accept the consequences directly. Not
leave them on the shoulders of orphans to be dealt with later. Looking at the
rigid shoulders of his friend, Naruto vowed that with the same fervor he had
long ago when he had driven a knife through his hand and promised not to run
away from a battle again. They were two vows he would keep even in death.
They parted ways, Sasuke heading off his house on the outskirts of town. Naruto
watched his friend go, noting the rigid body posture. He could feel the waves
of suppressed anger pumping off his friend, and was surprised that the windows
didn't crack as they walked past. Naruto worried about the stony look on
Sasuke's face, and was surprised that he had not asked Naruto for more
information about the nature of what he had found already on Danzo. Though,
Naruto supposed as he watched Sasuke disappear around a corner, the nin had
probably already figured most of it out. Naruto turned and headed to his own
apartment. He didn't know how Sasuke would react to the information he had
found in Danzo's lair. The details of exactly what had been done were even
worse than Naruto had imagined before.
He didn't know if the knowledge would bring closure for Sasuke, or break him.
-xXx-
Sasuke walked through the rubble of the old Uchiha district, his eyes unseeing.
He was losing control. It had been so hard to not let the memories wash back
over him in Tsunade's office when he realized what was going on. But now they
were crashing through him. His memories of that night, when his life had
shattered. The images that had been recorded by his own eyes. The false
memories Itachi had first imprinted in his mind. Then finally, the real ones
Itachi had shared at the end. His clan. His parents. His brother.
All dead.
Sasuke felt a wave of nausea wash over him, and realized his hands were shaking
slightly. He couldn't control his mind. He couldn't push the images away.
He stumbled up the steps to his house, fumbled with the door. He finally made
it inside, closing the door behind him, leaning against it, panting.
Danzo's seal. Naruto had been injured by a seal Danzo had placed to kill the
person who touched it. Naruto… had been searching through Danzo's things.
Somewhere outside the village, because Sasuke himself had searched through
every piece of rubble that Danzo and the council members had left behind and
found nothing.
The mission.
Naruto must have found a hide-out of Danzo's. One that hadn't been destroyed.
Naruto's missions, the ones he had been going on over the past three months.
Coming home exhausted and chakra depleted. He had been hunting for evidence of
something. It didn't take a genius to know what that something likely was. All
this time, Naruto must have been looking for proof that Itachi had acted under
Danzo's orders. And the council. And if Naruto had touched something that Danzo
had deemed important enough to put a seal like that on it…
He had found it.
Sasuke's hands were shaking. He clenched them into fists, feeling his nails
cutting into the palms of his hands. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and he
stumbled into the bathroom and emptied his stomach.
He brushed his fingers over his eyes, the anguish of the fact that they were
all that was left of his brother, of his family, of his clan. The hatred he
felt, the rage at the injustice and the deception of it all rose up and choked
him. His stomach heaved again.
Naruto had found proof that Danzo had ordered the death of his clan. Proof that
Itachi was not the monster that everyone called him.
But it was also proof that Sasuke had killed Itachi… for nothing. His vengeance
against Itachi had been a trick. One he should have seen through? One that
Danzo had ordered. One that Itachi had wanted as well. To end it.
Sasuke gripped the rim of the basin, wishing he could relive killing Danzo as
many times as he had had to relive the horror of the memories of all the things
that man had brought down upon him.
His brother had committed that act… for Sasuke. To save him. And Sasuke… had,
in turn, killed Itachi for it. Even if it was in the end what Itachi had
wanted, had planned… the guilt of it was still crushing.
Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could close out the images. He needed
relief. The burden was too much. He needed the thoughts and memories to stop.
Just for a while.
Sasuke stumbled to the kitchen, grabbing the jar that would wipe his mind
clean, if only for a bit. Make the shaking stop. Naruto would be by later, and
he needed to be back in control.
-xXx-
Naruto didn't know why he felt like he had to hurry, but he threw his pack
together as quickly as humanly possible. Something was wrong with Sasuke. He
had been able to tell by the emotionless, empty expression on his face when
they parted. He was sure that Sasuke must have figured out what Naruto's
missions had been about. But he hadn't asked any questions about it.
Naruto had a slightly panicky feeling that Sasuke would leave without him if he
had the chance. Not bothering with the streets, Naruto raced along the rooftops
to get to Sasuke as quickly as possible.
He knocked on the door, expecting Sasuke to throw him out, or at least yell at
him for coming so soon.
He was surprised when he heard Sasuke's voice calmly tell him to come in.
Naruto entered, again having the feeling that something was off with his
friend. Less than an hour ago, Sasuke had looked to be almost in shock with
what he had found out, his body rigid with tension, his face frozen and hard.
But now... he was simply seated at his kitchen table, looking oddly relaxed.
Naruto glanced around the kitchen, but everything seemed in place.
"Uh… Sasuke? Are you… feeling ok?"
Sasuke looked over at him, his eyes half-lidded and almost sleepy looking.
"Hn," he said, standing and walking to the living room, clearly expecting
Naruto to follow. Used to reading his opponent's body language, Naruto eyed
Sasuke's movements. The lethal grace was still there, but somehow it seemed…
softened. Slowed.
Naruto frowned slightly. He wondered if Sasuke had just bottled it all back
inside him, but that didn't seem quite right either. He seemed to be just
honestly… relaxed. There was something about the severity of the mood swing
that didn't seem natural. Didn't seem possible.
Sasuke sat back on the folded futon, lounging against the cushions there, his
legs spread slightly apart with negligent grace.
Images of the night before shot through Naruto's mind, and he mentally kicked
himself. His arm was being slowly consumed by some stupid seal that Danzo had
left behind, and his best friend was being forced to confront the event that
had destroyed his life. This was not the time to be thinking about sex.
"So are you going to tell me what you found?" Sasuke asked, arching a brow.
Naruto hesitated. He knew that there would be Anbu following them more closely
now after they had basically forced themselves into the Hokage tower this
morning. Many of the Anbu had expressed concern to both Naruto and Tsunade that
Sasuke was too dangerous to be allowed to roam freely in the village.
They couldn't be allowed to hear this conversation. He knew they would report
his actions back to Tsunade, but after her actions this morning, he had a
feeling that she would understand. Naruto's hands moved stiffly in a set of
seals that Tsunade had showed him which ensured that no one could listen in on
their conversation. He noted that Sasuke had activated his sharingan when he
did it, clearly memorizing the pattern, though Naruto had done it so slowly due
to his injured hand that Sasuke probably hadn't needed to.
"I found the order. Signed by Danzo and the council," Naruto said, watching
Sasuke closely for his reaction.
Sasuke blinked, and a shudder wracked the pale body. But Sasuke simply nodded.
"And what did the order say?" Sasuke asked, his voice calm. Naruto noticed the
pale fingers clench fractionally against the mattress of the futon.
"It said…" Naruto licked his lips nervously, not sure how to say this except to
just get it out. He couldn't begin to imagine what was going through Sasuke's
head right now. Despite the carefully controlled expression, Naruto could read
the swirl of hatred, guilt and anguish in the dark eyes. "It said that they
ordered Itachi to carry out a pre-emptive strike against the Uchiha clan. Danzo
and the council made the call that a direct negotiation would be too risky, and
would tip their hand that they were aware of the plot. They decided not to risk
losing the advantage of surprise. They believed..." Naruto trailed off and
swallowed, hardly able to force the words out describing what had been done.
"... they believed that the Uchiha leaders would never expect them to act
without at least attempted negotiations first. They saw this fact as a benefit,
as it increased Itachi's chance of success despite the fact that Itachi was
already under suspicion by the clan."
Sasuke sat for a moment. "So Danzo and the council didn't even try to
negotiate, or mediate, or even just imprison them all."
Naruto met Sasuke's gaze directly. He would not sugar coat this. If he was
going to be Hokage, he would start with owning the mistakes of the past, even
if they weren't his. "No. And if Itachi had disagreed, they were planning to
kill him before he could warn the clan. They agreed that as long as Itachi left
the village and no word of the order were ever found out, they would allow a
single Uchiha child to live."
Sasuke stared off into the corner of the room. "Me."
Naruto nodded. "Yes."
They sat in silence for a few moments, Sasuke clearly digesting what Naruto had
said.
"And Itachi joining the Akatsuki?"
Naruto looked down at his hand, noticing vaguely that it was slightly darker
than it was an hour ago despite Tsunade's best efforts. "There was another
order, inserting him into the Akatsuki. He reported back, including his own
crimes."
Sasuke's head jerked up at that. "There are reports from Itachi?"
Naruto hesitated. "Some." He struggled with how much he should say. Sasuke
deserved to know about the information he had found on the Uchiha clan that
cleared Itachi. Even if he'd had to go against Tsunade's orders, he would have
told his friend.
Naruto could tell that Sasuke wanted to ask to see them. To know what it was
his brother had been forced to do. Had been willing to do. Naruto had read
them, and it had made his blood run cold. He wanted to protect Sasuke from that
knowledge if he could. "Itachi didn't try to cover up his own actions. Danzo
had known what it would take for Itachi to be a respected enough member of the
Akatsuki for Nagato to discuss anything with him."
Sasuke felt bile rise in his throat as the thought of the brother that had not
even wanted to kill the wild boar that had been tearing up the crops when he
was a child. Even the drugs weren't able to keep his mind from spiraling down
into his memories again.
Naruto saw the desolate expression on Sasuke's face. It hurt to see Sasuke
hurting. Naruto's hand clenched over his stomach, wishing he could do
something. But there was nothing to be done. Some wrongs could never be made
right.
He thought maybe distracting Sasuke would be the best bet. "It's almost a full
day's journey. We should head out soon. Have you had a chance to pack?"
Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment, then stood and moved wordlessly to his
bedroom. He pulled out his pack and began neatly folding a change of clothes
and a few items that he would need on their short trip.
Naruto sighed. He wished this were easier. He wished he knew the right thing to
do. Maybe Sasuke really wasn't up to this. Tsunade had stabilized Naruto's
hand, mostly. Maybe Sasuke could just tell him where to go. Though Naruto
wasn't the best person for doing research and knowing what books or scrolls
would be relevant. Sasuke would probably laugh if Naruto offered to go alone.
They both knew that he would be pretty much clueless as to what to look for.
Most of what Naruto had learned had been through battle and training, not
research.
Naruto watched Sasuke as he searched through a small weapons cabinet by his
bed. He could see the pale hands shake slightly. This wasn't right. He wouldn't
make Sasuke do this. "Actually, Sasuke, I just realized that - if you tell me
where to go - I can just have Tsunade send a message for Sai to meet me there
directly. You wouldn't need to make the trip right now. Danzo taught Sai a lot
of the fuijutsu he knew, and Sai did a bunch research on his own as well. He
could help me figure out if Orochimaru has anything that could help."
Sasuke's hands stilled on the set of shuriken he was about to place in his
pack. A mental image of Naruto sucking Sai off flashed through his mind. The
anger that spiked through him at that visual pushed the anguish aside
temporarily. He turned slowly to look at Naruto, trying to decide whether his
katana was close enough to use, or if he should just fireball Naruto's ass.
Luckily for Naruto, the blond's expression was as transparent as always, blue
eyes looking at Sasuke full of worry and sympathy. The sympathy part had Sasuke
wanting to reach for the handle of his katana again, but he suddenly realized
he had a much better idea.
He needed to block out the things he was feeling. He had been struggling to
keep his emotions under control. Usually the drugs wiped his mind clean. But
this time the memories were just too strong. He needed something that could
make him forget. Casually, Sasuke closed his pack and set it on the floor, then
leaned against the wall.
"Well, if you wanted to go to the library at the hideout with Sai, I suppose
could use the time go and ask Orochimaru directly. I think I know where he is
likely to be these days," Sasuke smirked, already seeing the look of shock on
Naruto's face morphing to anger, with an edge of jealousy. "He told me he would
always be interested to see me again, regardless of the circumstances."
"W-what?! Sasuke are you out of your fucking mind? That guy has been literally
after your body since you were twelve years old. Did you see his tongue hanging
out when he watched you during the battle with Madara and the juubi?"
Sasuke shrugged with a casual grace, already feeling his adrenaline starting to
build. Naruto wasn't really that hard to understand, now that Sasuke had
realized the nature of Naruto's obsession with him. He knew what Naruto wanted
from him now. It was convenient, because Sasuke wanted the same thing. All he
needed to do was to push Naruto to act on the darker side of his obsession. The
side that had always been there, but had been disguised and friendship and team
loyalty. Sasuke was drawn by the darkness he read easily in Naruto's eyes now.
How had it taken him so long to recognize it?
Sasuke tilted his head to the side, noticing how Naruto's gaze slid down his
bared neck at the motion. "So? Lots of people have wanted me, Naruto. Even you,
evidently. Orochimaru is a powerful ally to have. If I ask him, I'm sure he'll
be more than happy to help."
Naruto felt anger surge through him. Sasuke was comparing him to Orochimaru
now?
Before he even knew what he was doing, Naruto was across the room, his hand
lashing out and slamming Sasuke back against the wall. "I am nothing like
Orochimaru, you asshole. And you are not going to go to him again, Sasuke. Just
because he helped us during the war to save his own skin doesn't mean he won't
jump that the chance to take yours if you give him an opportunity," Naruto
leaned in, letting his words brush against Sasuke's ear. "I'm not weak like I
was the first time you left, Sasuke. I can keep you from going this time."
Sasuke felt a dark surge of lust and triumph as Naruto pinned him against the
wall, blue eyes darkened with possessive anger. Sasuke glanced down to where
his own kunai was pressed against Naruto's throat, and ran his tongue along his
lower lip in anticipation.
"What's the matter, Naruto. Weren't you just saying you'd rather go with Sai,
anyway?"
Naruto's fingers flexed convulsively around Sasuke's biceps, realizing that
he'd been played. He felt Sasuke press his blade against his throat, and his
cock surged to life. He laughed darkly at his own weakness. It really shouldn't
surprise him that the threat of violence from Sasuke turned him on. "You're
really a bastard, you know that, Sasuke?"
Sasuke didn't bother replying. He fisted his free hand into Naruto's hair,
bringing their mouths together. He needed this. The heat between them that
could burn away all thoughts of pasts or futures.
For one moment, Naruto was still against him, and Sasuke feared that Naruto
would pull away. He groaned in relief a second later as he felt a shudder run
through Naruto before the blond was driving a leg between Sasuke's thighs and
kissing him back as though the fate of the village hung in the balance.
Sasuke threw the kunai knife to the side, ignoring the ‘thunk’ as it embedded
into the side of his weapons chest.
-xXx-
to be continued…
NOTE: If you found the sex in Deception 'too rough' please stop reading this
fic now. Don't read the next chapter then complain about it. These are two
mentally unstable ninjas (killers), one of whom is angry and the other of whom
is high. If this isn't your thing then PLEASE STOP READING this story.
***** First times *****
Chapter Summary
     Special thanks to WordWriter for beta-ing this chapter. And for
     telling me when to stop my endless rewriting of this scene LOL.
Author's note: Hard Yaoi (Boy x Boy) Lemon this chapter. This turned out
differently than I thought it was going to, but Naruto is so completely in love
with Sasuke that he… cherishes him, I guess you'd say. This story will have
both NaruSasu and SasuNaru in it, which to me seems obvious, but for those of
you who angst about those things, feel free to skip. But please don't tell me
how to write them having sex, because it will annoy me.
-xXx-
Sasuke didn't bother replying. He fisted his free hand into Naruto's hair,
bringing their mouths together. He needed this. The heat between them that
could burn away all thoughts of pasts or futures.
For one moment, Naruto was still, and Sasuke feared that Naruto would pull
away. He groaned in relief a second later when he felt a shudder run through
Naruto before the blond drove a leg between Sasuke's thighs and kissed him back
as though the fate of the village hung in the balance.
Sasuke threw the kunai knife to the side, ignoring the 'thunk' as it embedded
into the side of his weapons chest.
Naruto drove his thumbs into the hinge of Sasuke's jaw, forcing his mouth wider
as their teeth clicked together. The mention of Orochimaru had dredged up so
much old anger, hurt, and jealousy from when Sasuke had left the village so
many years ago. Naruto had fought so hard, chased him for so long. Having
Sasuke here, in his grasp, almost overwhelmed Naruto. He drove his tongue in
further, tasting Sasuke's mouth, breathing in the scent of him, shuddering at
the fierce feeling of possessiveness that had overcome him. He felt like he was
drowning and dying of thirst all at the same time. His hands slid down the pale
column of Sasuke's neck and gripped harshly at the shoulders, pinning him
harder back against the wall and drawing a low sound from deep in Sasuke's
throat.
Naruto knew he'd always walked the sharp edge of a precipice when it came to
his obsession with Sasuke. But he'd never felt the danger of it pulling at his
sanity as strongly he did now. If Sasuke left to go to Orochimaru again after
this…. a darkness bubbled in Naruto. His chakra surged before he was able to
suppress it, a blend of both his own and the dormant Kurama's. Dark eyes flared
open at his chakra surge, watching him with a combination of lust and wariness.
How many nights had he seen those eyes in his dreams? Looking at him with
mocking contempt. It was that look that had always driven him on. But there was
no contempt in Sasuke's eyes now.
The pupils were dilated, eyes heavy lidded. They seemed unfocused and
unguarded. The lust in those eyes grew as Sasuke sensed the flood of power
through Naruto. But then the eyes turned, looking at Naruto's hand. Sasuke
gripped Naruto's wrist, slowly pulling it away from his shoulder.
Naruto realized his hand was burning from the surge in his chakra. He hadn't
noticed it earlier. Sasuke's eyes swirled red as he examined the tan hand he
held.
"Sasuke…" Naruto began, not sure what he wanted to say.
"Your hand," Sasuke said, his eyes returning to black, looking a bit unfocused.
"We need to get going."
"No," Naruto stated, reversing the grip on his injured hand so that now it
gripped Sasuke's wrist with surprising strength. He was not walking away again.
Tsunade had said she had been able to basically stop the spread of the seal.
There was no urgency anymore. And Naruto had received new orders just before
he'd left to come to see Sasuke. "Tsunade sent a note telling me to wait until
Kakashi returned from his mission this morning. She wanted him to see it before
we left, in case he had encountered something like it before."
Sasuke tightened his grip into Naruto's hair, but he remained still. Their eyes
locked, Naruto reading Sasuke's skepticism of Naruto's words, but also Sasuke's
pulsing desire to continue.
"It's ok," Naruto breathed, releasing his chakra and slowly leaning forward and
brushing his lips back against Sasuke's. His hands shook, but it wasn't because
of the seal that had damaged them.
Sasuke nodded slightly. He let his head fall back, savoring, for just a moment,
the feel of Naruto's body pressed against his. The heat and anticipation was
thick in the air between them. He almost smirked as he felt way Naruto' hands
trembled.
Naruto seemed to be waiting for permission. How predictable. Sasuke felt no
such compunction. With a harsh jerk, Sasuke crushed their mouths back together,
reveling in the almost instantaneous feel of being devoured. Their tongues slid
against each other, their aggression making up for any lack of experience.
He lifted his head, smiling darkly as he felt Naruto lean in trying to
recapture his mouth. "Then don't stop," Sasuke stated.
How was it that three simple words could have such an effect on Naruto? How
could it be that Sasuke's utterance of those small words erased all the
warnings and fear that Naruto's brain had been trying to give him about diving
in too fast, too deep? He felt himself slipping over the edge, and he knew that
once he crossed this line, there would be no going back. But it was too late to
matter.
There had been no declarations between them. And although Naruto knew that
Sasuke didn't enter into any sort of physical intimacy lightly, he really had
no idea what Sasuke wanted from him beyond this moment. All he knew for sure
was that this man had the power to break him. And Naruto knew from bitter
experience that it was a power that Sasuke was fully capable of wielding.
But as Sasuke's fingers dug harshly into Naruto's hips, pulling their bodies
closer, Naruto knew there would be no holding back. Sasuke had owned Naruto's
soul since he was twelve. No amount of time or number of battles between them
had done anything to loosen that grasp.
Sasuke's tongue thrust forcefully into Naruto's mouth and he could feel the
rapid pulse of Sasuke's heart as their bodies pressed together.
Naruto could feel the hard evidence of Sasuke's desire pressing against his
own. He arched his head back and groaned at the feel of it. Sasuke wanted him.
Wanted him.Even if it didn't mean to Sasuke what it meant to Naruto, he knew it
wasn't just casual. Sasuke had told him that there had never been anyone else.
And it certainly wasn't from lack of offers. It had to mean something. Even if
Sasuke just needed someone to help him forget the terrible memories that the
revelation of Danzo's files had dredged up, Naruto had been the one Sasuke had
turned to.
And that in and of itself was a declaration, wasn't it? When had Sasuke ever
asked him for anything? Asked anyone? If Naruto ended up smeared in the dirt at
the end, he was willing to pay that price.
Naruto slid his hands from Sasuke's arms down to the lean hips, gripping them
and pulling Sasuke closer, sliding him along the hard muscle of his thigh. He
heard a low sound from deep in Sasuke's throat, and any ability he had to
analyze what they were about to do vanished. He pulled away from their harsh
kiss to trail his mouth in sucking kisses along the pale column of flesh that
was creating the incredibly sexy sounds.
"Yessss," Sasuke hissed. He arched his neck back, allowing Naruto better
access. He needed Naruto to keep going, to keep escalating this thing between
them. It would be easier to get this from someone who wouldn't care, who would
just be flattered that Sasuke allowed them to touch him. But Sasuke would never
permit himself to be this unguarded with anyone else. Would never let his mind
to truly let go with anyone other than Naruto.
He felt Naruto's tongue swirl in the hollow of his throat, just above his
jugular. Sasuke shuddered at the hot, wet touch over a spot that was so
vulnerable to attacks, where the smallest cut could bring almost immediate
death. Allowing someone to touch him there went against every instinct he'd
drilled into himself over the past ten years, but somehow made his cock harden
further to feel Naruto's tongue there.
There was no one else he would ever trust enough to allow to touch him in this
way. It would only ever be Naruto. The haze of the opium made it easier for
Sasuke to do what he wanted. The feel of Naruto's lips on his skin drove out
all thoughts of Danzo, Itachi... all the memories he had been running from.
This was what Sasuke needed.
Just this.
He wanted more, needed there to be no space for thinking or analyzing what was
happening. How long had it been since he had truly let himself go? He wasn't
sure he ever really had. But he could with Naruto… the only one who understood
his darkness, but cared for him anyway. Even when Sasuke no longer cared for
himself.
"Fuck," Sasuke cursed, gripping Naruto's shirt and shoving it roughly up over
his head. His brain was still too active. He needed to shut it down completely.
He felt Naruto's hands mimic his own, unzipping his grey shirt and tossing it
to the side. The hot slide of their bare chests against each other drew a
ragged breath from both of them, the slight sheen of sweat causing their skin
to stick and a slight suction to pull where their hard chests pressed together.
Sasuke dragged Naruto's face back up to his, pulling their mouths together and
learning the play of tongues and teeth until they were both sweating and
panting, their erections straining against the confines of their pants.
Annoyed with the painful pressure, Sasuke reached between them and tugged his
obi off, throwing it aside. He quickly untied the drawstring of his trousers
without breaking their kiss. Tan thumbs hooked into the waistband of Sasuke's
pants, and made one slow, teasing circle over the smooth, pale skin in the
slight dip just above the hip bones before tugging the fabric down, freeing
Sasuke's erection. Sasuke closed his eyes and hissed as the cool air of the
room hit his overheated flesh.
Naruto lifted his head, looking first at Sasuke's red, slightly swollen lips
before allowing his gaze to trail down over the now naked length of Sasuke's
body. Naruto swallowed at the perfection of the man. The porcelain skin was
somehow made even more beautiful by a few thin, white scars that showed just
how dangerous the owner of the skin was.
Naruto traced a finger over a small scar over one of Sasuke's ribs, noticing
the way the muscles tightened beneath the touch. He felt the dark eyes on him
as he slowly let his fingers trail along the hard, defined plain of Sasuke's
abs to the organ that stood at rampant attention between the pale, hard-muscled
thighs.
Sasuke let his eyes fall closed again as Naruto's fingers curled around his
shaft. He pressed back harder against the wall, gripping it with his fingers as
his mind was finally wiped clean of all thought into perfect blankness. He felt
the heat of Naruto's breath ghost across his cheeks before warm lips brushed a
feather-light kiss over each eyelid, as though forgiving him for the eyes that
lay beneath them.
Sasuke's throat closed up, emotion swamping him. He didn't want this. It was
too much. He didn't want 'gentle'. 'Gentle' made him feel too many things he
was not prepared to feel.
"Naruto," he rasped, tugging the blond ninja by his waistband and almost
hurling him onto the bed. Naruto's eyes narrowed as he fell back against the
blood red sheets, watching as Sasuke stalked towards him with a fluid,
predatory grace. "I don't want it slow," Sasuke said.
"Ok, then," Naruto said, his mouth feeling suddenly dry. But he knew Sasuke
well enough to know what he was asking for.
Sasuke reached the edge of the bed. Naruto's hand shot out, wrapping around
Sasuke's forearm as his leg hooked behind the Uchiha's knee, dropping Sasuke to
the bed next to him. Naruto straddled him, watching the expression on Sasuke's
face closely to be sure he was reading him correctly. He would give Sasuke
whatever he needed. There was not a flicker of hesitation in Sasuke's dark gaze
as he reached a pale hand and curled it around the back of Naruto's neck,
tugging him down into another fierce kiss.
Tenderness would break him. Sasuke wanted ferocity, and an intensity that left
no room for thought. The more familiar feel of power and aggression. He gripped
Naruto's hips and rocked against them, his fingers biting into the flesh
beneath Naruto's pants. Frustrated with the fabric, Sasuke's fingers slipped
deftly under the waistband and unfastened them, jerking them down, tearing them
in his haste while Naruto helpfully lifted his hips then kicked them aside.
As soon as his body was free of them, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's wrists and pinned
them over the brunette's head, leaning forward for leverage to hold him down.
"You're sure?" Naruto asked, locking his gaze to Sasuke's.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed, annoyed that Naruto was in enough control to be able to
voice the question. He didn't want either of them to be in control or thinking
at this point. "Do I look unsure to you?" Sasuke gritted out, thrusting up
against Naruto before sharply twisting his arms, breaking free of Naruto's grip
and dragging the blond down so their bodies were flush together. "Stop
stalling. Unless you're scared," Sasuke let his lips twist around the last
word. How many times in their youth had they used that taunt?
Naruto smirked. Actually, Sasuke wasn't far off the mark, but Naruto would
never admit that. So instead, he tightened his grip around Sasuke's pale wrists
and lowered his head. He closed his teeth over one of Sasuke's nipples before
laving it with his tongue to sooth away the pinch before repeating it again. He
rocked his hips in a slow motion, providing just enough friction against their
groins to let the tension build, but nowhere near enough to actually make
either of them cum.
In the back of his mind, he thanked Jiraiya and his perverted writings.
Sasuke arched beneath him, increasing the pressure and speed of their
thrusting. Hadn't he just said he didn't want to go slow?
Naruto released Sasuke's wrists to grip his hips, slowing the movement and
earning a warning growl from Sasuke. "It's better with some build-up, I
promise," Naruto said grinning at Sasuke's slightly annoyed expression.
Sasuke's hands found purchase in the blond locks again as Naruto slid down,
sucking a slow trail of hickies from Sasuke's right pectoral down to just above
his left hip bone. The paleness of Sasuke's flesh made the marks clearly
visible and Naruto felt a surge of possessiveness at the visible proof of his
presence on Sasuke's body. Deep in the recesses of his mind, he could swear he
heard Kurama purr in approval. Though it might just be his own animalistic
thoughts asserting themselves.
He wrapped his hand around Sasuke's leaking shaft, brushing the thumb softly
against the tip several times until Sasuke was panting and arching up,
desperate for harder stimulation.
"Fuck, Naruto! Hurry up!" Sasuke growled, his eyes narrowing as he heard
Naruto's snicker.
"Alright, alright!" Naruto said, still smirking, though his cock had jumped at
Sasuke's demanding tone. He figured he had less than a minute before Sasuke
decided to completely take over and drive things at his own, much faster pace.
He was actually a bit surprised that it hadn't happened already. But given what
Naruto suspected Sasuke actually knew about sex, he was pretty sure it was in
both their best interests if Naruto took the lead the first time. Kurama's
chakra still would heal him, but Naruto wasn't really looking forward to being
ripped in half if he could avoid it.
"Do you have any lube? Lotion?" At Sasuke's blank look, Naruto was glad he'd
made the call he had. Jiraiya had written about anal sex a few times. Lube was
the number one factor in 'partner satisfaction'.
Sasuke reached up and grabbed a small jar off his night stand. "It's salve, but
that should work, right?"
Naruto opened the jar and looked at the thick, creamy gel. "Yeah, this'll do,"
he said smearing some on his fingers and cock before turning back to Sasuke.
Naruto almost asked again if Sasuke was sure, but Sasuke's eyes had narrowed
dangerously again. Naruto knew he'd better hurry up and get on with it.
Deciding Sasuke needed to be distracted if Naruto were going to do this right,
he took one of his lubed hands and slowly pumped Sasuke's erection. The viscous
gel reduced the friction, but created a suction from the contact that had
Sasuke arching back again.
Naruto watched as Sasuke's fingers dug into the sheets and felt a drop of
precum drip from his own cock at the sight. Sweat glistened over the white skin
and the ruthlessly toned muscles pulled beneath it, making Sasuke look more
like a living sculpture rather than a mere mortal.
"See?" Naruto breathed. "Better with the lube, yeah?"
Naruto rolled Sasuke's balls, pulling them slightly before sliding his hand
back along the shaft. Sasuke didn't bother to reply beyond a groan of pleasure,
but Naruto felt sure his point was made.
Naruto drew a shuddering breath, then - keeping one hand busy on Sasuke's cock
- he lifted the pale hips slightly so they rested on Naruto's knees. With his
lubed hand, he reached back and slowly brushed a slick finger against Sasuke's
entrance, pressing gently but with enough force that Sasuke would know it was
there.
When there was no rejection of this touch, Naruto slowly increased the pressure
until the finger penetrated. Sasuke's eyes opened, and Naruto picked up the
pace with the hand stroking Sasuke's erection and running his thumb over the
slit, feeling the moisture that was still forming there.
Sasuke wasn't uneducated. He knew what the questing finger was indicating. He
decided that the fact that Naruto had thought to ask for lube meant he likely
knew what he was doing, so Sasuke simply lifted his hips and thrust more
forcefully into Naruto's stroking palm. If he decided he didn't like the
sensation, he would simply reverse their positions.
Naruto blew out a slightly nervous breath at the implied permission, wanting to
make this good for Sasuke. The Uchiha seemed uncharacteristically relaxed.
Naruto looked into the black eyes, noticing they were still slightly unfocused
and glazed. With lust? Naruto assumed so, glad that Sasuke was so relaxed since
it would make this part easier. He quickly slid his finger in deeper, angling
to find the spot he knew should be located just about….
"Ahn,fuck!" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's wrist, preventing him from withdrawing his
hand. "Again," he said tersely.
Naruto smirked, his own cock leaking profusely at the flush of lust spreading
across Sasuke's cheek bones as Naruto repeated the movement with his finger,
watching the hard muscles of Sasuke's body clench in pleasure. Naruto didn't
know how much longer he'd be able to hold back, but he knew he had to get this
right. He inserted another finger before brushing against that spot again,
using one knuckle, then a second to stretch the tight ring of muscle. He
repeated this over and over until they were both shaking and sweating, his hand
pumping at a harsh pace on Sasuke's cock.
He saw the muscles in Sasuke's abs clench and thought he was going to cum, but
instead Sasuke jerked Naruto's hand that had been delving deeply into him,
hissing at the abrupt exit and wrapped his hand around Naruto's cock, tugging
him forward. "No more waiting. Fuck me now, or I will fuck you."
Naruto was pretty sure he lost a good number of brain cells as his blood surged
through him at those words. Not needing to be told twice, he hitched Sasuke's
knees over his shoulders and lined himself up, slowly thrusting in. When he was
fully seated, they both shuddered at the level of intimacy of the sensation, so
new to both of them. The feeling of being physically joined with another person
was almost overwhelmingly foreign to two people who had been so alone for so
much of their lives. Wide blue eyes locked on black they both held still. Their
surroundings receded as their breathing locked for an instant.
Naruto felt almost helpless under the emotions that poured through him. Not
knowing how else to express it, he slowly began moving, thrusting in and out as
Sasuke gripped him, feeling the heat and friction where their bodies connected.
He felt Sasuke's fingers clench around his forearms, and remembered to shift
the angle of his thrusts until he found the right spot.
"Fuck, yes!" Sasuke said, his face twisting in blind pleasure as Naruto picked
up the speed and power of his thrusts, aiming over and over for the spot that
made Sasuke's back arch in pleasure. Sasuke lifted his hips to meet him,
fisting his fingers painfully in Naruto's hair and drawing their mouths
together harshly before he flipped Naruto over and pinned him to the bed,
straddling him.
Naruto gasped at the deeper penetration, and Sasuke smirked as he slowly rolled
his hips. Naruto's eyes drifted closed and he thrust up as Sasuke shifted,
their bodies moving fiercely together, the harsh rhythm and brutality of their
pace befitting with who they were.
Naruto felt as though his soul was being set on fire, his whole being lit up
with a consuming need to be bound to this person he had chased for so long. He
watched Sasuke's face as he approached his climax, the dark eyes hooded and
glazed, looking down at him.
Naruto thrust in further, watching Sasuke's body arch up, the muscles in the
pale stomach and arms clenching. He never knew he could feel anything like
this. Never knew how different it would feel to be joined with someone in such
a primal way. He couldn't take his eyes from the way Sasuke was moving above
him… so beautiful… so deadly. And so damaged. Naruto felt his throat close up
momentarily, but it wasn't enough to prevent the words that were tumbling from
his lips. Words that he knew he should not be saying.
"Oh, god, Sasuke. I... I've always…."
Naruto's clenched his jaw closed to keep the confession from spilling out.
Sasuke was cumming, arching back as ribbons of cum streamed between them.
Naruto felt Sasuke clench around him and lost all control, thrusting upwards
harshly into Sasuke until he felt his entire body lock in a shuddering orgasm.
He gasped, his eyes going wide, locking on Sasuke's as the last spasms of
ecstasy twisted through them. Sasuke collapsed to the side next to Naruto.
Neither spoke, the intensity and vulnerability too great at the moment. But
their gazes held, filled with awe and fear and possibly hope. Something had
shifted irrevocably between them, but it was as yet unarticulated and
undefined.
Slowly, Sasuke ran his hand along Naruto's damaged arm, a small frown marring
his flawless features. "We will wait one more hour for Kakashi. If he doesn't
show by then, we'll leave him a note with directions and meet him at the
hideout."
Naruto sensed the underlying worry behind Sasuke's words, and the sound of it
rubbed against Naruto's already raw emotions. There had been so many times when
he'd be injured so much worse, and there had been no one there to care. And
now… it was Sasuke. Here. Worried about him.
Afraid of what might come out of his mouth if he wasn't careful, Naruto closed
his eyes for a few minutes, getting himself under control. He could feel the
weight of Sasuke's observing gaze, and could only hope that the astute eyes
didn't see too much.
When he finally felt he had himself under control, he opened his eyes and
turned his head to face Sasuke, smoothing a hand along Sasuke's hip.
"Well, of all the times we've been waiting on Kakashi, I have to say this was
the best," Naruto said, allowing a cheeky grin to form.
"Pffftt, Usuratonkachi," Sasuke said, rolling onto his back and looking up at
the ceiling, a small smile playing on his lips.
-xXx-
Kakashi arrived just as they were heading out. The older ninja paused, noting
the way Sasuke stood protectively close as Kakashi examined Naruto's hand, but
he did not comment on it.  He agreed with Tsunade that he had not seen anything
like it before.
Sasuke and Naruto took their leave, while Kakashi went to report to Tsunade.
As the two ninjas walked to the village gates, Sasuke noticed the looks that
people now cast at Naruto as he passed by. The blond appeared unaware of them,
but Sasuke was struck by the change in types of stares the kyuubi vessel now
received. Where before the looks had been filled with loathing and fear, many
now eyed Naruto with open admiration and lust.
Sasuke sneered. Evidently they finally had deemed Naruto 'safe'. Now that he
had fought their battles for them without ever calling them to account for
their prior actions. But Naruto never once glanced back at them, his attention
focused on Sasuke. Sasuke smirked, reveling in the knowledge that the blue eyes
still followed only him. Though now, those same blue eyes contained a dark heat
that Sasuke knew was answered back with his own gaze. He had always been
possessive of Naruto's attention, but now...
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at man who's gaze followed Naruto's ass a bit too
closely. The man felt the weight of Sasuke's glare, his eyes widening in fright
as he realized just whoseeyes were glaring at him. The man quickly dropped his
gaze and turned abruptly down a different street, out of range of the
legendarily lethal Uchiha eyes. Sasuke felt a flash of amusement at the sight
of the fleeing man. Perhaps there was something to be said for having the
villagers terrified of him after all. Naruto continued on, oblivious to the
entire exchange. Sasuke wondered if Naruto had just trained himself to ignore
the looks he received from people due to his childhood experiences, or if
Naruto truly was that oblivious. Somehow, both notions make Sasuke feel
protective of the blond.
Sasuke let his gaze fall to Naruto's hand, noticing the fingers flexing slowly
as if to dispel a slight numbness. He felt his jaw clench. He was going to
reverse whatever seal Danzo had unleashed on Naruto. Sasuke was not going to
let that dead man take anything more from him. Especially not Naruto.
-xXx-
to be continued...
***** Orochimaru's Library *****
Summary:The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his
defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As
his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try
a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga
chapter 693.
Author's note:Thank you to the lovely WordWriter for reading this through for
me and bouncing ideas around. *hugs*
-xXx-
Naruto and Sasuke passed through the gates of Konoha and immediately set off
through the trees. Sasuke took the lead, as he knew the location of the
hideout. Naruto felt his eyes drift again and again to the form of his former
teammate as they leapt from branch to branch with fluid grace. So many times in
his youth he had trailed behind Sasuke, watching him. Studying him. Wanting him
to notice Naruto as well. There was less innocence in the way his eyes followed
the smooth movements of the man before him now, however. The fascination that
Naruto had always had for the way that every move Sasuke made, even casual
ones, seemed to be executed with ruthless precision had now twisted into a
hunger to see him as he had been this morning. Back arched in pleasure, his
usually expressionless face flushed and raw with lust.
Naruto's chakra flared again briefly, causing him to launch off a branch with
more force than necessary, leaving a shattered limb in his wake. He saw
Sasuke's head turn slightly in reprimand at the sound of the branch snapping,
but then the nin was pushing on again toward their destination.
Naruto flushed and forced himself to reign his thoughts in. They hadn't spoken
of the morning's events after they had showered and dressed for the mission. It
hadn't been awkward, as both had found it easy to simply discuss the tactical
logistics of getting to Orochimaru's. They were experienced ninjas, and mission
tactics were familiar and safe to focus on. They both felt a slight nostalgia
at planning the minor mission together. Naruto in particular felt his old
desire to have Sasuke back not just in the village, but as a fellow Konoha
ninja and teammate surge back. He had missed this. The way that Sasuke's brow
creased slightly as he thought through options. The way he used so few words
but still got his point across succinctly. Just the solid, intense presence of
him. Naruto had missed it all so much, and having it briefly again only made
him want it more.
He wanted everything more. More of Sasuke in his life on all levels. As a
friend, as a teammate, as a partner. As a lover.
But he didn't know what he should do about it. Naruto knew that Sasuke would
not appreciate a lengthy, drawn-out discussion on 'feelings'. It would probably
send Sasuke fleeing the village faster than a warrant for his capture and
immediate beheading would have. But Naruto also didn't want Sasuke to think
there had been anything casual about what had happened between them that
morning. At least… on Naruto's side, it hadn't been casual. He still had no
idea what Sasuke thought about the whole thing. And honestly, it was making him
a little bit crazy.
He didn't want to pretend to be 'just friends'. But Sasuke had barely been able
to handle acknowledging a rudimentary friendship or bond of rivalry between
them. This was… so much more than that. If Naruto pushed too hard, he knew he
could end up with nothing.
He shook his head to clear it, weaving hand signs and sending two clones back
to check to see if they were being followed. He'd been letting his attention
drift, and that could be dangerous... especially since he wasn't sure how he'd
do in a real fight if one came up with his hand not responding properly.
He wondered if Kakashi or an Anbu squad were following them. They had left the
village with the Hokage's permission, but Sasuke was still officially under
surveillance until they decided what to do with him. Once they were a bit
further away from the village, Naruto would go into sage mode to be sure that
they were not surprised by anyone. There was a small chance that someone could
have pieced together his late night trip to see the Hokage and the presence of
Sasuke with his research on Danzo. There wasn't much outside of clearing
Itachi's name or seeing Danzo and the council's activities brought to light
that Sasuke would be likely to take interest in. Naruto knew they had to be
careful.
. . . . . .
They stopped for lunch after traveling for about three more hours. Both were
used to eating quickly and in silence while on missions, so neither attempted
conversation nor were bothered by the lack of it.
Naruto finished quickly and immediately stilled himself, closing his eyes and
focusing on drawing in nature energy. He wouldn't need to remain in sage mode
the entire journey, but he at least wanted to check their surroundings to find
out if there were being followed by anyone.
Sasuke seemed to understand what Naruto was doing, as he didn't ask any
questions and simply watched with mild curiosity as Naruto's lids began to
darken to the tell-tale orange that indicated he was entering sage mode. The
level of concentration and utter stillness of the usually boisterous and
energetic ninja gave Sasuke pause. He had practiced meditation for years, as
did all members of the Uchiha clan, and he was able to recognize complete focus
when he saw it.
It was not something that he would immediately have thought Naruto would have
been capable of doing, but there was no denying it here. In the final battle,
Naruto had been in tailed beast mode, making the process go much faster.
Evidently with Kurama asleep, he wasn't able (or didn't want to) do that, so he
had to rely on the traditional sage method and longer meditation.
Sasuke knew that becoming a sage generally took years, if not decades. Yet
somehow, Naruto had managed in under a year. He smirked. It wasn't really
surprising, he supposed. When had Naruto ever allowed himself to do anything in
a predictable manner?
As Naruto's eyes opened, full of focus and power, Sasuke felt a strange emotion
in him that he couldn't really identify. It wasn't fear. It wasn't jealousy.
Sasuke didn't deny part of it was lust. Power was something Uchihas were
trained to respect. But there was something else mixed with the attraction. It
felt almost like… pride. But that made no sense. He had nothing to do with
Naruto's training. Though he hadn't heard the full story, he knew that Naruto
had begun his training to become a sage after learning of Jiraiya's death. If
anyone should feel pride in Naruto's accomplishments, it would be Jiraiya.
Still, he wondered how Naruto had accomplished it. It was one of the many
things about Naruto's life in his absence that he didn't know.
Sasuke shrugged the thought aside as Naruto finished scanning the area. "We're
not being followed… not even by Anbu."
They were both a bit surprised by that. Tsunade must have ordered that they be
left alone, which was unexpected.
Naruto turned away, looking in the direction they had been traveling. Being in
sage mode made him even more aware of the man accompanying him. He could feel
Sasuke's energy, that signature life force that was uniquely his own. He could
feel it connect with him, a minute part of it merging with his own energy.
Humans were part of nature, and even though he drew in only a tiny amount from
Sasuke, he could feel it in every cell of his body.
It didn't help that he could feel Sasuke's emotions as well. He had felt the
slight edge of lust that had tinged Sasuke's thoughts as Naruto had entered
sage mode. Using it in battle, Naruto had only focused on detecting a general
sense of things like the will to kill or cause harm. But evidently, he could
sense other emotions as well. Thing like sexual attraction. It was subtle. But
it was enough that it set Naruto's already hyper-aware brain into overdrive,
remembering the events of the morning together. He wondered briefly what it
would be like to have sex with Sasuke while he was in sage mode, to be able to
feel the emotions as well as see them in his lover's face. Naruto shivered
slightly, his hands breaking out in a sweat at just the thought.
But he had promised himself that he would not push. He would give Sasuke what
he needed, and not ask for more. That meant he needed to focus on something
other than feel of the heat and life and movements of his traveling companion.
He was glad that he hadn't drawn in very much energy. He could already feel the
sage mode fading, bringing at least the chance for sanity to come back to him.
"Let's keep going," Naruto said tersely.
Sasuke raised a brow at the tone, but didn't comment. Naruto was usually in a
hurry even if there was no need to be. Given that they had no idea what was
happening to the blond ninja's arm, he supposed that Naruto had the right to
seem tense.
They took off again through the trees. They wouldn't rest again until they
reached Orochimaru's lair.
-xXx-
"You're sure, Kakashi?" Tsunade asked, her amber eyes hopeful.
Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. "I know what sex looks like. Unlike some
others I know, I actually try to get a little action every now and then."
Tsunade flicked her pen at him in irritation. He dodged it easily, not
surprised when it hit the wall with enough force to actually pass through it,
cracks radiating outward from the small hole it had left. He wondered briefly
what the annual maintenance bill was for the Hokage tower. It must have tripled
since Tsunade had taken up residence.
"You're lucky they didn't catch you spying on them," she said, deciding to
ignore his comment.
"They were rather… pre-occupied. I have to say, I'm quite proud that my two
star students appear to show excellent skills in all areas."
"Pervert," Tsunade said, though her lips twitched into a smile. "Though I bet
Jiraiya had a little something to do with Naruto's skills. After all, he taught
you everything you know through those books of his."
"Maa," Kakashi said, his eyes scrunching as he grinned beneath his mask. "I had
a few other teachers that were more… hands-on along the way that might have
helped."
Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Well, you got an eye full, it sounds like. Just don't
make it a habit of spying on your students having sex."
Kakashi lifted his hands innocently. "I wasn't spying. I felt Naruto's chakra
surge, and then Sasuke's. I had to go check to see what was happening and make
sure they weren't trying to kill each other. Again."
"Hmm," she said skeptically, guessing that Kakashi had his own reasons for
wanting to 'check'. "Well, at least we know that things are… progressing. I
called off the Anbu squad from following them. If they like to use their chakra
while they're going at it, I don't want them getting interrupted because some
over-zealous ninja thinks they're trying to kill each other."
"You know, Jiraiya used to say that fighting with a ninja of equal skill is
very much like -"
"I know what the old pervert used to say," Tsunade said primly. Then a wicked
smile crossed her lips so quickly that Kakashi almost missed it. "Who do you
think told him that?"
A thought crossed her mind, and her eyes twinkled mischievously. "So… since you
were peeking… who topped?"
Kakashi cleared his throat. "I was a bit surprised with that one, actually."
Tsunade's grin turned gloating. "It sounds like I won the bet. The damn kid is
the only thing I never seem to lose on. And, of course, I assume you remember
the price of our wager."
Kakashi suppressed a groan. Damn Uchiha brat. He sighed. He supposed it served
him right for betting on Sasuke over Naruto. You'd think he would have learned
by now.
-xXx-
They traveled for another five hours without resting or speaking. Sasuke
abruptly motioned with his hand that they were going to stop and landed
silently on the ground at what initially looked like just another pile of rocks
in the middle of the woods.
"We're here," he said, walking over to one of the boulders and placing his hand
over what turned out to be a seal concealed there. A small pulse of chakra had
a piece of the rock shifting away, revealing a tunnel that led steeply
underground, lit on either side by glowing crystals held in sconces. Typical
Orochimaru decor, Naruto thought. What was it with that guy and dark, gloomy
caves, anyway?
Something about the small clearing triggered something in Naruto's memory.
"Shit!" Naruto said. "I remember coming here once before, when we were looking
for your sorry ass. We couldn't find the entrance anywhere. We spent like three
days looking around this place."
Sasuke smirked. "You just didn't know where to look, Dobe."
Naruto grumbled, but followed Sasuke inside. Sasuke paused at another seal,
laying his palm over it, and the entrance closed.
"No one's been here recently," Sasuke said complacently. "We won't be disturbed
while we're here."
Naruto's scowl deepened at Sasuke's obvious familiarity with the inner workings
of the place. Evidently Orochimaru had felt close enough to Sasuke to trust him
with things like the secrets of how to enter and exit the compounds.
The thought had Naruto's anger rising. He had been so worried for Sasuke. Even
though Sasuke had left willingly, Naruto somehow had thought that Orochimaru
had been holding his friend against his will once he had gotten there, doing
terrible things to him until he was ready to take over his body. But Sasuke had
been… Orochimaru's ally. A trusted confidant, at least on some levels.
Had they been friends? Had Sasuke admired the man as more than a source of
power?
Naruto's fists clenched. Orochimaru was back now. Sasuke had brought him back.
And he had already talked about going to him again.
"Naruto?" Sasuke had stopped, and was looking at Naruto, his face
expressionless.
Naruto tried to calm himself down. What could he say to Sasuke? Sasuke wasn't
even officially a Konoha ninja anymore. He could basically do what he wanted
now. The big question was: what did Sasuke want? Naruto had no idea.
When Naruto said nothing, Sasuke turned and continued walking down the
corridor. This hideout was smaller than the one that he and Team 7 had searched
for with Yamato the one time they had actually tracked down Sasuke. There were
probably only about a dozen rooms. Without hesitation, Sasuke walked to a door
towards the end of the hall and executed a series of complicated hand signs
before placing his palm on the door, unlocking it.
The door opened, and Sasuke walked into a large room filled floor to ceiling
with books and scrolls. Naruto didn't know much about scholarly things, but he
knew that the knowledge in this room was probably worth a small fortune.
"He must have really trusted you," Naruto said, his voice low.
Sasuke stilled, then turned to face him.
"Orochimaru. I mean, the one thing that guy valued was knowledge. He wouldn't
share this lightly. My guess is that, aside from Kabuto, you're the only one he
gave access to places like this."
Sasuke said nothing for a moment, then shrugged. "Probably."
Naruto didn't know why he suddenly felt like punching Sasuke in the face and
crying all at the same time. He had known, on some level, that Sasuke had been
willing. Hell, Sasuke had put a hole in his fucking chest to get away from him
when he'd gone to Orochimaru. But to see this… to see the proof of how much of
a partner Orochimaru had viewed Sasuke, even if in the end Sasuke had beheaded
him…
Naruto turned on his heel and walked out of the library. He knew he couldn't
actually leave the compound without knowing how to activate the seal, but he
couldn't look at Sasuke right then.
He got about halfway down the hall before he stopped and put his fist through
the wall. He could feel the shards of rock cutting into his flesh, but he
didn't care.
"You're angry," Sasuke said from behind him.
Naruto didn't turn to face him. "Yeah, no fucking shit, Sasuke."
Sasuke eyed him for a moment without saying anything. "Why now?" he asked
finally.
Naruto looked at him, not sure he could speak without completely losing it.
"Why now? Because I spent years chasing after you, searching for you, trying to
keep you from being killed or… or... worse. And the whole time, you were
playing fucking house with him. You clearly could have left at any time, and…
dammit Sasuke!"
Sasuke let out a breath, keeping his eyes warily on Naruto. "You know why I
left, Naruto. You know. So you know why I couldn't come back."
Naruto swallowed convulsively. Because he did know. But it didn't help. It
didn't make the hurt or the anger or the loneliness that he had felt any less.
"I just… I wanted to be the one you turned to for help," Naruto said finally.
"I wanted to be there for you. To be strong enough that…"
Sasuke stood there for a moment, letting Naruto flounder, before he finally
admitted. "It wasn't about that."
"Bullshit," Naruto said, his voice low and rough with anger. "That's bullshit
and you know it. It's always been about power with you."
Sasuke reached down, taking Naruto's wrist and looking at the bloody gashes in
his already damaged hand. "You know, if you really don't want this hand, you
should just cut it off. It would be much less trouble."
He could see some of the smaller scratches already starting to close. Another
demonstration of the Kyuubi's power, even when dormant. But the slight
discoloration of the flesh of Naruto's cursed hand seemed darker than when they
had left. Sasuke frowned. He wasn't sure if it had been affected by the
physical trauma, or Naruto's use of sage mode… or if Tsunade's work was slowly
being undone by the seal itself.
Naruto jerked his hand away from Sasuke's grasp and stood. "Let's go see if we
can find anything in your library," Naruto said, his voice closed off. "The
sooner we do, the sooner we can get back to the village."
Sasuke stood unmoving for a moment before slowly following Naruto back into the
library. Naruto appeared to be randomly picking up books and flipping through
them before putting them back on the shelf.
"Do you even know what you're looking for?" Sasuke asked.
Naruto didn't look at him. "I'm not a genius like you and Orochimaru, so I'm
just looking for anything that talks about seals or has a symbol like the one
that activated on Danzo's papers."
Sasuke sighed and walked over to his pack. "Stop. You're bleeding all over the
books."
Naruto snapped the book he had been flipping through closed, then put it back
on the shelf with slightly more force than was necessary. He drew a deep
breath, clearly trying to get a hold of his temper, then walked over to where
Sasuke was reached into his pack, pulling out a jar of salve. Naruto eyed the
jar, recognizing it immediately, his face flushing slightly. Sasuke just
quirked a brow at his reaction, but Naruto could see amusement flicker in the
dark depths of Sasuke's gaze.
He grabbed Naruto's wrist and opened the jar with his other hand.
"You don't need to bother," Naruto said gruffly. "It will be healed by morning
anyway. I never bother with minor stuff like this."
Sasuke frowned at the words, but finished applying the ointment without
comment. He unwound a length of the tape around his wrist, biting it off at the
end rather than using his kunai to cut it. "I just don't want you messing up
the books," he said finally.
Naruto allowed Sasuke to wind the length of tape around his damaged hand,
though the bleeding had already stopped. Surely Sasuke had noticed that? But
Naruto decided not to push it. It was… nice to have Sasuke touching him. Even
if it was just to protect his precious books.
Sasuke finished wrapping Naruto's hand, but didn't immediately release it. He
looked at the bandages for a few moments as though he were working out what to
say. But then he jaw clenched, and he stood abruptly without saying anything
and headed to a section midway through the room. "All of the information on
seals that can inflict chakra damage are in this part of the library."
He began pulling out books from the middle of a large shelf. Some of the books
were in languages that Naruto didn't even recognize, but Sasuke appeared to
have no trouble reading them.
"You're more powerful than Orochimaru, you know," Sasuke said, not lifting his
gaze from the tome he was flipping through.
Naruto blinked, not really sure what Sasuke was getting at.
Sasuke finally looked up at him. "Are you going to help me look through these,
or are you just going to stand there?"
Naruto took a few steps forward, pulling books from the same area that were
written in a language that he understood. "What am I looking for, exactly?" He
scratched the back of his head nervously. He suddenly felt a bit like he'd felt
back in the academy and he'd been light years behind Sasuke in everything.
Academic research was… definitely not his thing.
"Anything that talks about chakra sealing, or reaper seals. Or seals that
contain or weaken bijuu's, since they're chakra beings. They'll all be
related," Sasuke said, putting two books back and setting one aside for further
research.
-xXx-
Naruto felt something rough and damp against his cheek. He opened his eyes to
see that - at some point - he'd fallen asleep on the cold stone floor of
Orochimaru's library. And evidently drooled. With an annoyed grunt, he wiped
the dampness from his cheek, then rubbed his eyes wearily.
They had been at it for hours before Naruto had finally succumbed to sleep, his
poor brain simply unable to deal with the sea of letters and facts and
information in book after book. Sasuke was in exactly the same position he had
been the last time Naruto had seen him, sitting in a chair at one of the two
library desks, piles of books and scrolls on either side of him while he jotted
down notes on a piece of parchment. Naruto wasn't sure how long ago he had
fallen asleep, but judging by the crick in his neck from sleeping in a strange
position, it had been several hours.
Knowing that Sasuke hadn't gotten any more sleep than he had the night before,
Naruto levered himself up and walked over to the Uchiha.
"You should sleep," Naruto said softly.
"Hn," Sasuke grunted, not looking up.
"There's no rush. Tsunade healed a lot of the damage and stopped the seal from
spreading," Naruto said, pulling a chair next to Sasuke and looking over his
shoulder to see what the nin was reading. It wasn't a language Naruto
recognized.
"Your hand is darker, Naruto. And the discoloration has now reached your wrist.
It was only to the heel of your palm when we left the village," Sasuke said,
not taking his eyes from the book. "Tsunade has never seen a seal like this.
Which means she doesn't actually know what she's doing. Or how much time we
have left. The original intent of the seal Danzo placed was to incapacitate and
kill anyone who touched it. And Danzo is generally a very thorough man."
Naruto looked down at his hand. Truthfully, it was hurting quite a bit more
than it had yesterday when they'd left the village. His whole body was
beginning to feel fatigued, and for him, it was a very unusual sensation. He
had never tired easily. And Sasuke knew this as well.
"Sasuke -" Naruto began.
"No. I am not going to just sit around and hope she figures it out on her own.
I'm not going to let…" Sasuke snapped his mouth closed. "If you're tired, there
are bedrooms to the left of this room. They don't require a seal to enter."
"Sasuke," Naruto said again, gently pulling the book from Sasuke's hands. "You
need to sleep, too. We'll start fresh in the morning."
Sasuke looked at him, clearly annoyed. "You're going to bother me until I get
some sleep, aren't you?"
"Yes," Naruto said, grabbing Sasuke's wrist despite the glare and tugging him
up.
"Fine," Sasuke said. They walked to a room that had two twin beds. Sasuke lay
down in one, and Naruto in another. Within a few minutes, Naruto was asleep.
Sasuke felt a slither of unease at how quickly and deeply Naruto had slid into
sleep. He had done missions with Naruto in their youth, and knew that the blond
typically took at least thirty minutes to fall asleep, even dropping with
exhaustion from a mission. Something was clearly draining his chakra, and
Sasuke was pretty sure it was the seal.
He stood, looking down at Naruto's sleeping form. There was no way he was going
to sleep before he had gone through every possible scrap of information in the
library. He not been able to stop Danzo from killing his clan and destroying
his brother. He had found out years too late to do anything other than grieve.
But it was different this time. He would be damned if he let Danzo win.
Sasuke went back to the library, picking up the book he had been reading before
Naruto had interrupted him. He tried to focus his mind on the task at hand, but
found his thoughts straying to what had been happening between him and Naruto
over the past few days.
The intensity of the whole thing had thrown him off completely. He was used to
being in control, of knowing what he wanted and pursuing it single mindedly,
with complete focus. But he was not in control of this. Whatever 'this' was
between him and Naruto. He felt only slightly better knowing that Naruto wasn't
either.
The utter fear that had swamped through him when he had seen Naruto slump over
while he was reading, thinking for a moment that something had happened with
the seal and…
Sasuke drew a breath. He had sworn he would never care for anyone again, would
never risk the crushing loss that he had faced as a child. Rationally, he knew
he should step back from Naruto. He should help find a cure for whatever it was
Danzo had tried to do, and then he should walk away.
Naruto already had his own path that no longer required Sasuke. Naruto would be
Hokage. He had the respect of most of the ninjas of Konoha and beyond. He
didn't need Sasuke they way he had in his youth. And as for what had happened
between them the other day...
Naruto would eventually find someone else for that as well, if Sasuke left. The
Hyuuga girl. Or Sai. The level of anger that spiked through him at the thought
of Naruto being with either of them in that way left Sasuke's hands shaking,
despite the fact that it was the logical choice for both of them.
He re-opened the book, focusing on the words on the page. He couldn't deal with
this now. He needed to focus on finding a way to undo Danzo's seal.
He was not going to dwell on why he felt like it was his own life that hung in
the balance, rather than Naruto's.
-xXx-
to be continued...
***** Worry and discoveries *****
Chapter Summary
     thank you to the lovely WordWriter for reading this and giving input!
Author’s note:So… there is an ugly downside to drugs.  Sasuke will begin to
find that out in this chapter.
-xXx-
Naruto woke in the small bed, feeling somewhat better than he had earlier.  He
didn’t need to roll over to tell that he was alone in the room.  He sighed,
swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and scrubbing his fingers through
his hair, trying to stimulate blood flow to his scalp and help him wake up.  He
had no idea how long he’d been asleep.  That was unusual for an experience
ninja who had to wake at the right time for taking over watch duty or pushing
through to arrive at a destination on schedule.  The only other time he had
really slept like this was when he had found out about Sasuke…
Naruto shivered, pushing that memory back.  He didn’t want to show it in front
of Sasuke, but Naruto was worried.  He never got sick, and he wasn’t used to
getting an injury that Kurama couldn’t heal.  He always woke up recovered from
whatever had happened.  But this… Naruto examined his hand.  The discoloration
seemed to have been pushed back to the heel of his hand, the wrist now looking
normal.
Naruto breathed a small sigh of relief.  Maybe when he’d injured himself,
Kurama’s chakra had briefly focused on repairing the physical damage rather
than fighting the seal, and the seal had spread.  But now that his body was
recovered, the bijuu chakra was pushing back against the seal.
Naruto stood and stretched, then placed a hand on the sheets of the bed where
Sasuke had slept.  They were completely cold, which meant that Sasuke had been
up for some time.  If he had even slept to begin with.Naruto frowned, though he
did feel something at the knowledge that Sasuke was this concerned for him.
 But he didn’t want to add to the things that Sasuke was worrying about… he had
wanted to be the one who helped Sasuke, not the other way around.
Naruto walked back to the library, relieved to see that Sasuke had left the
door open.
Sasuke looked up from the scroll he was reading as Naruto entered the room.
 His eyes swept over the blond quickly, betraying none of the intense relief he
felt at seeing the younger ninja awake and alert.
“You didn’t sleep, did you?” Naruto asked, his tone slightly accusing.
Sasuke shrugged.  “I never said I was going to,” he said, completely
unconcerned.  Deception and misdirection were core tools of a ninja, after all.
 It was a skill, not a fault.
Naruto sighed.  “Have you found anything?”  He looked over at the pile of books
on the desk where Sasuke was sitting.  It was much smaller than it had been
when he had gone to sleep.
Sasuke tapped three tomes.  “The most interesting information is in these.  The
first goes into details on how the reaper seal works, though here they refer to
it as the ‘dead demon consuming scroll’.  It was invented by the Uzumaki clan,
interestingly.  It binds the chakra energy to the spiritual energy of the
person wielding it so that the chakra is carried off with the wielder’s
departing soul.  It doesn’t seem as though that would work given that Danzo
bound it to an inanimate object.”
Naruto nodded.  “I don’t think Danzo actually ever had a soul to begin with, so
I’m pretty sure he couldn’t use that one,” Naruto joked.
Sasuke blinked, then his lips twitched as he breathed out a small chuckle, then
looking surprised at himself for having done so. It had been… a long time since
he’d laughed about anything. Somehow it shouldn’t come as a surprise that it
was Naruto who made him react.
“Anyway, this second one describes the technique that Nagato used to draw that
tailed beasts into the statue.  Obviously, there is a big difference between
the body of the juubi and the size of the chakra in a tailed beast compared to
a book and a regular ninja’s chakra, but it lays out the theory of how it would
be done.  In order to know if the seal is actually transferring your chakra to
the book, we’d have to see the book to know what was happening.”
“Baa-chan has the book,” Naruto said, serious again.  “It’s in the Hokage
tower, fully sealed.  It will be safe until we get back.”
Sasuke nodded tiredly.  
“So what about the third book?” Naruto asked.
“The third book talks about seals that actually focus on destroying the chakra
pathways, rather than the chakra itself.  The discoloration on your skin is
what made me think of this.  If the tissue is actually being damaged, it could
be because the seal is destroying the body rather than the chakra.  Either can
produce death if the end result is zero chakra.”
Naruto looked down at his hand again, trying to hide his nerves at the options
that were being laid out.  “The discoloration subsided a bit while I was
sleeping,” Naruto said, showing his hand to Sasuke. “My guess is that Kurama’s
chakra is enough to combat whatever is going on as long as it isn’t busy
healing other kinds of wounds.”
An irritated look crossed Sasuke’s face.  “Then don’t do stupid things like
punch walls, Dobe.”
Naruto felt his temper flare briefly, but then he took in the worried,
exhausted look on Sasuke’s face.  “How long did I sleep for, anyway?”
Sasuke shrugged as though the answer didn’t worry him.  “Almost a day.”  Naruto
didn’t need to know that Sasuke had checked on him every hour to see if the
curse mark was spreading and check his breathing.
“What!?”  Naruto felt a combination of shock and panic.  For him to have been
out that long and completely vulnerable to attack was a frightening idea.  Of
course… Sasuke had been here.  Would he have protected Naruto if an enemy had
come?  After all, it wasn’t that long ago that Sasuke had tried to kill him.
 But now… Naruto looked at Sasuke, unaware of just how much vulnerability and
uncertainty was showing in his blue eyes.
“I sent a message to Tsunade letting her know that we would likely be another
day before heading back so she won’t be expecting us until tomorrow,” Sasuke
said calmly.
Naruto turned, pretending to look at the books rather than Sasuke at the moment
while he tried to calm himself. He didn’t want to appear weak in front of this
man.  “Sorry,” Naruto mumbled.  “I didn’t realize I was… so tired.  You’ve been
awake for more than two days.  You rest. I’ll stand guard. When you wake we can
talk about how to figure out if one of these curse types is what Danzo used or
not.  It will probably be fastest if we take these books back and see if
Tsunade has turned up anything.”
“I don’t think we should rest.  We should head back as soon as possible,”
Sasuke said, frowning.
“No,” Naruto said firmly.   “My hand is not a hundred percent.  If we engage in
a battle, one of us needs to be in fighting condition.  You’re pale and
exhausted.  You need to rest before we leave.  We don’t know if any of Danzo’s
allies are aware of what we’re doing.  We can’t take chances.”
Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but didn’t disagree.  “Fine.  I’ll sleep for five
hours, then we leave.”
Naruto nodded.  “I’ll stand watch.”
“If you want to make yourself useful, you can look through this section,”
Sasuke said, indicating two shelves on the other side of the library.  “If
there is anything here on repairing chakra pathways, it would be there.”
Naruto nodded, feeling slightly less certain about his ability to do medical
research than he was about his ability to stand guard, but if nothing else, it
would give him something to do while Sasuke slept.
They quickly ate some of the rations from their packs, then Sasuke headed to
the bedroom where Naruto had slept earlier.
-xXx-
Sasuke lay down in the narrow bed, his eyes aching from reading for so many
hours on end.  He had always been prone to eye strain, and knew he would likely
have headaches for the next day or so from this.  But it was worth it.  He had
found at least two solid leads on what the seal likely was.  And once they
understood how it worked, they’d be able to find a counter for it.
He closed his eyes and tried to force himself to sleep.  His mind kept
traveling back to the previous day, when Naruto had slept so unnaturally
quickly and deeply.  He felt the knot of anxiety twist again in his stomach.
 Why was he feeling this way about it?  He had barely spoken to Naruto except
to threaten to kill him for the better part of five years.  Why this sudden…
worry?  
He had heard about the battle with Pein.  Sakura was one of many who had told
him what had happened. How Naruto had trained and fought… and won.  When the
entire village had been defeated, even the Hokage.  Sasuke had met Nagato when
he had joined the Akatsuki, and he wasn’t sure he would have won if he had been
in Naruto’s place.  Not that he ever would have.  He felt no urge to defend
Konoha, knowing its secrets as he now did.  Naruto had experience the dark side
of the village much longer than Sasuke had, but somehow was still willing to
fight for it.  It was something that Sasuke would never understand, but he
could at least respect it.  For consistency if nothing else.
But the point was that Sasuke knew Naruto was strong.  He had allies. Tsunade
would probably be able to figure out the same things Sasuke had.  Surely the
Hokage library had as much information as Orochimaru’s library did.  Sasuke
turned restlessly.  Somehow, he just couldn’t take the chance.
Even with the knowledge he had gleaned, they still needed to go back to Konoha
for the actual treatment.  Sasuke was not a medic nin.  He had chakra control,
but not at the level required to probe the individual chakra pathways that
would be required.  They needed Tsunade.  Drawing in years of mental
discipline, Sasuke stilled his movements and slowed his breathing, forcing
himself into an uneasy sleep.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
He was cold.  Shivering.  His whole body hurt.  Was he injured?  What had
happened? His mind seemed foggy… he couldn’t seem to focus.
Someone was… touching him.  Sasuke’s eyes flared open, Sharingan swirling.
“Whoa, Sasuke! It’s just me,” Naruto said, lifting his hands placatingly from
where they had been gently shaking Sasuke’s shoulder.  Sasuke looked at him
groggily.  His head was pounding, though he knew he hadn’t been drinking the
night before.  Naruto’s blue eyes shone with concern.  “Are you sick?  You’re
drenched in sweat and shivering.”
Sasuke looked down at where his body was visibly shaking beneath the thin
blanket.  It was freezing in here.  Why was he sweating?  He flinched when he
felt a hand touch his brow.  “You might have a low fever, but you look like
hell.”
Sasuke’s legs twitched involuntarily, and he shifted them restlessly. “Yeah,
you were doing that a lot, too.  Chasing rabbits in your sleep?” Naruto joked
half-heartedly, his eyes showing increased concern at Sasuke’s continued
silence.
“How long have I been asleep?” Sasuke asked, forcing the words out with
significant effort.  What the hell was going on? It felt sort of like he had
the flu, but the onset was so much more sudden than usual, and Naruto had said
he didn’t feel like he had a high fever…  Sasuke’s brain shied around an idea
that was trying to float to the surface, denial shutting it down before his
brain could even articulate it.  It could not be that.
“... five hours,” Naruto was saying.
“What?” Sasuke said, forcing himself to focus.
“You’ve been asleep for five hours.  You said you wanted to leave after five
hours, so I came to wake you up, but… you were really out of it. I had to shake
you.”
Sasuke froze.  Naruto had to shake him?  That was not possible.  After years of
living on the run, Sasuke always woke at the slightest disturbance.  What the
fuck was going on?  He sat up, forcing his body to obey him and was instantly
rewarded with a wave of nausea.  He fought it back.  He knew where some basic
medical supplies were, and he slowly pulled himself to his feet, willing his
legs to hold him steady despite their aching protests.
Naruto was beside him in an instant, an arm reaching out as though to support
Sasuke.  Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, and while he didn’t go so far as to activate
the Sharingan, the threat was clear.  Naruto withdrew his hand.
“I’m fine.  I just need to get some medical supplies, then we’ll head out.”
Naruto looked at him skeptically but was wise enough to not speak.  Sasuke
walked to the bedroom door, throwing a look over his shoulder at Naruto.  “Are
you coming?  I’m not going to wait for you.”
Naruto followed silently, but Sasuke could feel the assessing weight of the
blond’s gaze on his back, as though waiting for Sasuke to keel over.  That was
not going to happen.
When they reached a door midway down the hall, Sasuke opened it with a simple
set of hand seals and stepped inside.  He walked over to a small metal table
next to a medical examination table.  He turned to see Naruto’s gaze widening
at the sight of the heavy metal shackles on either side of the table, and
smirked.  “You can’t be surprised.”
Naruto blinked owlishly, and Sasuke ignored him in favor of opening the drawers
of the table to find what he was looking for.  He took out the thermometer,
wiping it down with alcohol before putting it in his mouth.  While he was
waiting for it to take the reading he rummaged through the shelves.  He hoped
Naruto was as ignorant about medicines as he used to be.  His hands were
shaking with need now.  He already knew that the thermometer was not likely
going to show a fever.  He didn’t have the flu.  He had witnessed the symptoms
of withdrawal enough to recognize them in himself, even if at first his brain
had rejected the possibility.
Anger simmered through him.  This was not supposed to happen to him.  He wasn’t
some uneducated junkie.  He had been careful.  He had been in control.  He
never used two days in a row, and he was careful not to use too much.  This
shouldn’t be happening.  He smashed his fist down on the shelf, sending several
bottles of liquid smashing to the floor.  “Shit!”  
Naruto’s eye widened at the uncharacteristic loss of control by the Uchiha.
 Sasuke forced his hands to stillness, trying to regain his usual stoic mask.
It wasn’t here.  Orochimaru had - at various times - used opium derivatives as
pain medicine, both for himself and his ‘experiments’.  Sasuke felt an
unfamiliar sense of panic set in.  He didn’t have time to deal with withdrawal
right now.  They needed to get back to the village before the curse seal
spread. Even going hard at full speed, it was almost a day’s journey back to
the village.  He didn’t have time for this.  He was furious at himself for
allowing this weakness.  For his weakness to be putting Naruto at risk was…
unacceptable.  He knew telling Naruto to leave him behind and return without
him would be impossible.  Naruto’s reaction when they’d arrived at Orochimaru’s
hideout had indicated that Naruto’s possessive need to keep him in the village
had only grown.  The thought didn’t anger him the way it did in the past, but
he had no time to examine how he felt about that now.
He needed to figure out how to get them back as soon as possible.  He would
stop using the drug as soon as this was over. But he knew that withdrawal was
going to get much worse before it got better.  He had seen long-term users in
Orochimaru’s dungeons (some willing, some unwilling), and only hoped his
wouldn’t be that bad.
He looked around the room, knowing that Orochimaru would be annoyed that he was
leaving a mess in the lab, but he wasn’t going to stick around and clean it up.
 They had to get going before he got worse.
“Let’s go,” Sasuke said tersely, turning and walking back to the bedroom where
he had set his katana and pack.  He ignored the way his hand shook when he
picked up the katana and slung it over his back.  They didn’t have time for
this.
Naruto was hovering, “Why don’t you just sleep some more.  I’m sure you’ll feel
better after a little more -”
“We’re leaving.  Hurry up,” Sasuke snapped.  He had to make it back to his
house before the withdrawal symptoms got any worse.  Just the thought of
breathing in the vaporized drug had him licking his lips, his whole body
shaking with need.
Naruto opened his mouth to say something more but was cut off by another glare
as Sasuke grabbed his pack and stalked to the library. Naruto followed more
slowly, clearly concerned as he watched Sasuke put the three books as well as
his notes into his pack.  Naruto hurriedly stuffed everything back in his own
pack as Sasuke turned without a word and headed for the exit.  
As soon as they were outside, Sasuke launched himself into the trees, ignoring
the pain and cramping of his muscles and the almost uncontrollable shivering of
his body.  He could feel Naruto’s worried gaze on him, and it pissed him off.
 But not nearly as much as his own weakness did.  This was not supposed to
happen.  He never let personal weakness interfere with a mission.  He was not
about to start now.
-xXx-
They had only been traveling for about two hours whenSasuke fell to his knees
on the forest floor, emptying his stomach, his whole body shaking.  How could
this be happening?  He had been so careful.  He hadn’t even been taking it the
drug that long.  And he was careful not to use every day.  Why was he this
sick?  At this rate they wouldn’t be back to the village for days.  Mentally
cursing himself for his weakness, he tried to force himself to stand.  They had
to keep going.
He felt Naruto crouch beside him, a warm hand landing gently on his back.
“Sasuke, stop.  We need to rest here for a bit.  You’re sick.  You can’t keep
pushing yourself.”
Sasuke felt Naruto’s had move soothingly on his back.  “Don’t fucking touch
me!”
Sasuke was so angry.  He felt completely out of control.  He had so much
adrenaline pumping through him, but with none of the usual accompanying
endorphins to take away the edge.  The fact that he knew what was happening in
his body chemically didn’t help lessen what he was going through.  Somehow it
just made him even angrier.  He was better than this.  He was too smart for
this to happen.  A series of tremors wracked his frame.  
He looked up to see Naruto’s face, blue eyes full of hurt, worry, and
confusion.  Sasuke clenched his jaw to keep from lashing out at Naruto again.
 None of this was the blond’s fault.  Sasuke had done this to himself.  His
fingers tensed, digging into the soil beneath him.  He could not let this slow
them down.  He would not let his own weakness put Naruto at risk.  
He forced himself to stand, drawing in a deep breath.  “We need to keep going.”
“Sasuke, stop.  Just… stop! You need to rest, we need to get you to the
hospital, and -”
“No!” Sasuke felt a flash of panic at the thought of anyone else finding out
about his mistake.  It was bad enough that he’d had to admit it to himself.  He
would never reveal such a weakness to the idiots at Konoha hospital.
“Sasuke, please…” Naruto’s voice was pleading.  “Don’t do this. We have time.”
Sasuke turned, looking his friend directly in the eye.  “We don’t have time,
Naruto.  We may have found out what the seal is doing to you, but we still have
to find a way to reverse it.  And I don’t know how long that will take.  We
can’t just waste time until I feel better,” Sasuke sneered.
“You can’t keep going like this.  If you pass out, I’ll just have to carry you.
 You need medical attention, Sasuke, you need -”
“I’ll be fine as soon as I get back to my house. I have what I need to get
better there.”
Naruto blinked.  If it were anyone else, Sasuke would have said that Naruto
looked suspicious.  “Medicine?  You knew you were sick when you came?  Fuck,
Sasuke, you should have told me!”
Sasuke looked away from the hurt he could feel coming off the blond.  Clearly,
Naruto thought that Sasuke hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him what had been
going on.  And in a way, he was right.  Sasuke didn’t want to discuss this with
anyone.  It was his own business. His own decision.  And he would handle the
consequences of his mistake.  
He would go back to his apartment.  He’d take one more dose of the opium to get
his body back under control.  He’d use it long enough to see this thing through
with Naruto’s hand, then he’d throw the rest of the paste away and never touch
it again.  
Sasuke had no patience for addiction.  He would not let something like this
control him. It was irritating enough to know that he had miscalculated the
amount required for physical addiction.
“Look, we’re not even a quarter of the way home.  You’re clearly getting worse.
 We need to get back faster,” Naruto said, half talking to himself.
Sasuke glared.  “That’s why I’m trying to get us moving again, dumbass.”
Naruto licked his lips nervously.  “We could try… I mean, I’ve been
practicing…”
“What are you trying to say,” Sasuke said tersely.
“Well, you know that jutsu that the Second and my… dad… used.”
Sasuke noticed the way Naruto’s voice softened when he referred to his father.
 Yet another thing that they hadn’t really discussed. “The Hiraishin no jutsu?”
“Yeah… the teleportation thing.  I… well… I’ve been working on it.  And… I
think… I figured out how to do it.”
Sasuke frowned skeptically.  There was no halfway with a jutsu that sucked you
into another space-time dimension and spat you back out somewhere else.  “You
think?”
“Well… I mean… I’ve never tried it over long distances, and I only just got it
to work once, but… yeah, I think I could get us home.”
“You need to mark your destination with a seal first, remember, idiot?”  Sasuke
said, irritated that they were even talking about this when they needed to get
going.
“I have a mark in my apartment,” Naruto said.  “And as long as I’m in physical
or chakra contact with someone else, I should be able to teleport the both of
just, just like… Dad did.”
Sasuke paused, trying to weigh the risks.  Given his worsening physical
condition, he was unlikely to be able to keep even a third of the pace they had
used on the way out.  That meant it would be a minimum of three days to get
back.  Who knows what could happen to Naruto’s hand in the meantime. Not to
mention the fact that his own condition was likely to worsen significantly, and
he would prefer to go through that in the privacy of his own home.
Naruto could make a clone to carry him, but - even if Sasuke were willing to
accept that humiliation, which he wasn’t - chakra use could aggravate the seal
in Naruto’s again and they would still be most of a day away.  This method
would be practically instantaneous.  If anything happened to the seal, they’d
be able to make it to the Hokage tower in minutes.
Of course, if Naruto didn’t know what he was doing with the teleportation
jutsu, they could wind up sucked into some random dimension and ripped apart.
“Trust me, Sasuke.  I can do this,” Naruto said his eyes looking earnestly at
Sasuke's.
Sasuke tried to remember the last time he had truly trusted someone.
 Strangely, it was Naruto’s face that appeared in his mind’s eye. Slowly,
Sasuke nodded.  Somehow, he believed him. Had always believed him. “Fine.  Do
it.”
Naruto grinned at him.  The next instant they were sucked into nothingness.
-xXx-
The stumbled slightly as they opened their eyes and realized that they were in
Naruto’s apartment.  It might not have been quite as smooth as the Fourth, but
they had done it.  Naruto’s excited grin made Sasuke’s lips twitch, but before
he could smirk in response to his friend’s accomplishment, another wave of
nausea wracked him and he only barely made it to the bathroom in time.
“Fuck,” Sasuke muttered, rinsing his mouth in the sink.  He lifted his head to
see Naruto’s concerned eyes watching him in the bathroom mirror.
“Let’s get you to your place so you can get your medicine,” Naruto said,
stepping back to let Sasuke walk by.  He knew better than to suggest Sasuke go
to the hospital after the reaction the nin had the first time he did.
“Take the books to Tsunade,” Sasuke said, reaching in his pack. “I’ll meet you
there when I’m done.”
Naruto’s eyes narrowed.  “Teme.  I’m not letting you walk to your place by
yourself when you’re this sick.”
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.  “Yes, because clearly I have no idea how to take
care of myself.  It’s not like I’ve lived on my own since I was six or
anything.”
Naruto turned and walked toward the door, grabbing Sasuke’s pack.  “You can
stand here and bitch about which of us had the worse childhood, or you can
follow me back to your place and take your medicine.”
Naruto walked out the door, knowing that Sasuke would have no choice but to
follow.  He needed the medicine.
“I’m beginning to remember why I ran you through with chidori in the first
place,” Sasuke said, following.
Naruto laughed.  “You just have a fucked up way of showing affection, bastard.”
Sasuke shot him a look, but didn’t say anything as they made their way to
Sasuke’s house.  He knew he should be focusing on how to keep Naruto from
finding out what his ‘medicine’ was, but all he could think about was getting
it and making the pain stop so they could get Naruto to Tsunade and start work
on the seal.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sasuke had no idea how he made it the final stretch through the village to get
to his house.  Naruto might have been supporting him for part of the way, but
Sasuke would not think about that.  He just needed to get the drug.  Once he
took it, everything would be fine.  It would just be one or two more times.  He
could break this addiction as soon as he needed to.  He would be fine.
He stumbled to the kitchen, throwing open the cupboard, ignoring Naruto’s
curious eyes as he pulled the small jar out.  “You can leave now.  I’m fine. Go
get the books to Tsunade.”
“What is that?” Naruto asked.  “I thought it was some kind of weird spice.
 Does it have to do with your eyes?”
Sasuke ignored him, desperate to just make the shaking and craving stop,
annoyed that Naruto made no signs of leaving.
“How long will it take to work?”
“Not long,” Sasuke bit out, his hands shaking as his mind race to come up with
some way to distract Naruto.  Naruto might not have seen opium before, but if
Sasuke lit it up right in front of the blond he was pretty sure Naruto would
figure it out.  “Make yourself some lunch while I rest.  We’ll go in half an
hour.”
Naruto looked at him, and for a moment Sasuke thought he had figured it out.
 But then Naruto simply turned and began washing his hands.  Sasuke grabbed the
metal plate and matches and turned and headed to the bathroom.  It would only
take a couple of minutes.  Naruto would be busy in the kitchen.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Naruto looked in the fridge for the ginger, but didn’t see it.  He vaguely
remembered Sakura saying that ginger was good for sensitive stomachs, so he
wanted to put some ginger in the soup he was making so Sasuke could have some.
 He didn’t see it, so he looked in the cupboards, but didn’t see any there,
either.
“Sasuke?” he called out but didn’t get a reply.  Concerned, he walked down the
hallway and looked in Sasuke’s bedroom, where he had assumed the man had gone
to lay down.  It was empty.
“Sasuke?” Naruto asked again. He noticed that the bathroom door was closed, but
there was no sound of water running.  Worried that Sasuke might have collapsed
before taking his medicine, Naruto opened the bathroom door, his eyes instantly
taking in the scene of Sasuke holding the metal plate, the open jar sitting on
the ledge of the tub.
The heavy, sweet scent of the opium wafted out to him, and Naruto instantly
recognized the scent from some of the previous times he had visited Sasuke.
 Sasuke’s eyes had the glazed, languid look that had confused Naruto in the
past.
Naruto’s eyes got wider, and Sasuke had to fight the urge to snicker as he
leaned back casually against the tub.  He could almost see the gears turning in
the Dobe’s brain.  He was feeling good… all the pains and cramps subsiding, the
blissful sense of calmness keeping him from being concerned about the potential
for Naruto to put two and two together.
“Sasuke what…” Naruto paused, grabbing the jar and looking at it, as though
expecting it to tell him what was going on.  
All those times when Sasuke always seemed so oddly relaxed. He was… Including
the time just before they had left when they had…
Fury surged up in Naruto, and he threw the jar, shattering it against the tiles
of the shower.  “What the fuck,Sasuke!”
-xXx-
to be continued...
***** Reactions *****
Author's note: Never go skiing on ice in the dark. No really. Don't. Thanks to
WordWriter for reading and advising! Love you, honey.
-xXx-
Naruto's eyes got wider, and Sasuke had to fight the urge to snicker as he
leaned back casually against the tub. He could almost see the gears turning in
the Dobe's brain. He was feeling good… all the pains and cramps subsiding, the
blissful sense of calmness keeping him from being concerned about the potential
for Naruto to put two and two together.
"Sasuke what…" Naruto paused, grabbing the jar and looking at it, as though
expecting it to tell him what was going on.
All those times when Sasuke always seemed so oddly relaxed. He was… Including
the time just before they had left when they had…
Fury surged up in Naruto and he threw the jar, shattering it against the tiles
of the shower. "What the fuck, Sasuke!"
Sasuke's hand went up, shielding his face from the tiny shards of glass that
ricocheted from the force with which Naruto had shattered the glass jar. He
looked at the mess in annoyance, setting down the silver plate and lighter he'd
been using. He really didn't want to buy more, but he couldn't exactly take it
now that it was mixed with broken glass.
"Don't overreact," Sasuke said, fluidly standing from where he'd been sitting
on the edge of the tub and going over to the sink to wash the glass off his
hand. He looked at himself in the mirror, checking for glass in his hair and
sighing in annoyance when he could see a few shards stuck in the strands.
Naruto wasn't even sure what he felt at that moment… shock? anger? hurt?
disappointment? guilt? All of those things, times a thousand flooded through
him, amplified even more by Sasuke's apparent disregard for the situation.
"Overreact? Overreact!?I thought you were sick! You were shaking and throwing
up and... and I thought you were... and the whole time, you were just high?We
were on a mission and you were getting high?!"
Sasuke flicked a glance at the furious blond, but then turned and faced the
mirror. He noticed there were bits of glass in his shirt, so he pulled it off
and shook it out over the sink. "I wasn't getting high. I wouldn't have gotten
sick if I was."
Somehow Sasuke's nonchalance over his partial nudity just made Naruto angrier.
Part of his anger was directed at himself for his inability to keep his eyes
from watching the play of muscles beneath the pale, smooth skin of Sasuke's
back when he knew his friend was high. Normally, Sasuke would not disrobe so
casually in front of others. "Are you fucking insane? I thought you were
supposed to be the smart one! Do you know what this shit does to you?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Probably better than you do, moron. I've actually
studied chemistry and the human body. I know what I'm doing," Sasuke said,
leaning over the sink so he could rinse the glass out of his hair, cursing when
one of the shards cut his finger.
Naruto couldn't help but just gape for a moment at the way Sasuke was
completely blowing this off. He gripped the pale ninja's shoulder and spun him
around, ignoring the water droplets that flew from Sasuke's hair with the
motion.
"Oh, really? You knew what you were doing? So… you planned to be puking your
guts out on the forest floor? What was it… overdose? Withdrawal?" Naruto still
couldn't get his brain to move past 'shock' and start processing any of this.
The way drips of water rolled down Sasuke's neck and slid over his collarbone
didn't help, either.
"Tch," Sasuke said, his eyes narrowing. "If it were an overdose, how would
taking more of it help, dumbass?"
Anger suddenly won decisively over shock. Before he knew what he was doing,
Naruto's chakra was surging and Sasuke was flying back, slamming against the
bathroom wall. Several tiles cracked on the impact. If Sasuke's reactions had
been any more slowed by the drug, he would have broken some bones, but he had
been able to send chakra into his back before he made contact with the wall,
hardening his body against the blow. He hadn't been able to dodge or block it,
though. Awareness of that fact, and the knowledge that Naruto had possibly done
it intentionally to highlight the weakness brought his own anger out.
Sasuke's eyes swirled red and chidori crackled as he drew himself up, facing
Naruto. The blond's eyes were wide with shock, whether from his own actions or
the fact that Sasuke hadn't been able to dodge the blow, Sasuke wasn't sure.
"Sasuke, goddamit!" Naruto said, completely ignoring the danger that Sasuke now
posed, his voice twisted with both anguish and anger. "What were you thinking?
Why would you do something like this?"
Sasuke took a step towards the blond, not releasing either the chidori or the
sharingan. "You're the one slamming me into walls. Don't pretend to be worried
about my health."
"You're supposed to be an S-rank ninja! I shouldn't have been able to…" Naruto
cut off as another thought struck him. "Does anyone else know? Does Tsunade
know?" If she had known and allowed it to continue, Naruto didn't think he
could forgive her.
Sasuke glared at him, then released the chidori, allowing his eyes to return to
black as he realized Naruto had expected him to dodge or at least block the
blow. He was somewhat surprised that no Anbu had shown up yet given the level
of chakra they had both been pulling. But maybe they didn't know they were in
the village yet and hadn't been monitoring them. They had bypassed the main
gate by teleporting directly to Naruto's apartment. "She's already unhappy that
I'm walking around freely. I doubt she'd let that continue if she knew
something like this."
Naruto leaned back against the door, briefly closing his eyes. How could Sasuke
take such a stupid risk? He could wind up in prison just because of this if
they decided it made him too unstable. He remembered what Tsunade had said
about the brain chemistry of the Uchiha being different because of the
Sharingan blood limit abilities. Naruto's mind edged toward what could have
driven Sasuke to do it, but he pulled back from the thought, not wanting to
assume he could understand any of the Uchiha's reasoning at this point. "How
long?"
Sasuke just looked at him for a moment before speaking. "How long what?"
"Don't play dumb, asshole. Unless smoking that shit makes you stupid as well as
slow. How long have you been taking it?"
Sasuke shrugged, feeling annoyed at being called either of those things from
Naruto. He turned back to the sink to finish washing the glass out of his hair,
taking his time before answering. "It's not your business."
"Not my…!" Naruto surged forward, barely stopping himself from hurling Sasuke
into the wall again. Sasuke's body language basically radiated 'fuck you.' And
Naruto was really tired of getting that from him. "You asshole! We had sex
while you were high! This whole time I was wondering what was going on with
you, and you were just…"
Naruto missed the way the muscles in Sasuke's back had tensed at Naruto's
words. The dark-haired ninja slowly straightened, shutting the water off before
grabbing a towel to dry his hair and turning to look at Naruto.
"So that's what this is all about," he said, rubbing the towel through his hair
to dry it. "It's not the fact that I was taking drugs that bothers you. It's
the fact that I was high when I fucked you. And now you're feeling bad about it
all." Sasuke put a wealth of contempt in that last part.
Naruto didn't know how he wasn't already in tailed beast mode. He wished Kurama
were not asleep, because then at least he'd have an excuse for the overwhelming
urge he had to rip Sasuke apart. He was shaking with hurt and anger. He forced
himself to step back, turning his back on Sasuke and walking out of the
bathroom before he did something he'd regret. He always just charged into
things headlong and he was pretty sure that wasn't going to work here.
"Fuck you, Sasuke. That's bullshit and you know it. You tell yourself stuff
like that because it makes it easier for you to be a bastard and write
everybody off. In the end, you just really don't want to deal with someone
actually giving a damn about your sorry ass," Naruto said, trying not to lose
control of his voice, knowing that Sasuke was intentionally baiting him, but
giving in to it anyway. "And for the record, Ifucked you. Not the other way
around."
Naruto's words evoked images of that morning, at the same time the blond's
actions now caused Sasuke's own anger to surge. He was tired of Naruto always
walking away every time he got mad. They always used to fight it out when they
were kids. Naruto had constantly been in Sasuke's face. It had been annoying at
times, but Sasuke had always known where he stood with Naruto, which was
something he appreciated. There had been no façades, no pretense.
A ninja only turned their back on another ninja if they completely trusted them
or completely discounted them. Sasuke was pretty sure the first one could no
longer be true, and he sure as fuck was not going to accept the second. Not
from Naruto. Sasuke wasn't sure if it was the drugs or his anger that was
clouding his mind more at the moment, but the blond hadn't even made it halfway
down the hall before he was slammed face first against the wall.
"That's right. You fucked me. Don't get used to it," Sasuke whispered directly
into Naruto's ear, feeling his anger taking on a fine edge of lust as he
pressed Naruto's body harder into the wall.
A drip of water from Sasuke's hair landed on the back of Naruto's neck, causing
the blond to shiver. He could feel Sasuke's hands move to his hips, the pale
thumbs slipping into the waistband of his pants. Sasuke pushed his body more
firmly against him.
But there was no way Naruto was going to fall for this again.
"I'm not dealing with you when you're high. Go jack off in your bedroom or
something," Naruto said, shoving Sasuke back hard. "I have to get to Tsunade.
If she didn't sense us teleport into the village, someone probably felt your
chakra surge. I'll explain that we were just… testing my hand or something so
she can call the Anbu off."
Sasuke stumbled back, torn between anger at Naruto's rebuff and puzzlement at
the apparent fact that the blond was planning on covering for him. But Naruto's
words reminded him what they were supposed to be doing in the first place. The
whole reason he'd taken the opium as soon as he'd gotten back: so his
withdrawal symptoms wouldn't slow them down for getting Naruto and the
information they'd found to Tsunade.
Sasuke cursed under his breath, annoyed that he'd lost focus. He would never
admit it out loud, but Naruto was right. He had made a mistake in thinking he
could control the drug. Now it was controlling him, and he wasn't going to let
it continue. "Fine. Let's go."
"No, we are not going this time. Iam going and youare staying here. And before
you say anything, just because I was an idiot and didn't figure out that you
were high doesn't mean Tsunade won't recognize it right away. She's not only a
doctor, but she also has probably seen a lot of nins on shit from when she was
wandering around drinking a path through every gambling establishment in the
Fire Country. She'll take one look at your glazed eyes and flushed face and
she'll know what you're on. I'm assuming that's not what you want to happen."
Sasuke sneered at him, though he didn't deny his words outright. "You couldn't
tell I was high. And you know me better than she does."
A mix of hurt and guilt flashed across Naruto's face before he turned away. "I…
knew something was wrong. I mistook it for something else," he said, his voice
strangely devoid of emotion. "I'm going. I'll clean up the mess I made in the
bathroom."
A clone appeared, giving Sasuke a bleak look before going to the bathroom to
clean. Sasuke looked up to see Naruto already at the front door. Empty-handed.
"Tch. Usuratonkachi. Don't forget the books. That was the whole point of this
trip in the first place." Sasuke frowned at the expression on Naruto's face,
not able to put a name on the emotion he read there.
Naruto glared at him but went back to the kitchen where the packs were.
Sasuke's hands opened, then fisted, then opened again at his sides. "The books
are in my pack. My notes are in the front pocket."
"I know. I carried it when you got 'sick', remember?" Naruto said bitterly as
he grabbed the pack and headed toward the door.
Sasuke watched him go, annoyed that he was once again being left behind.
Effectively removed from the mission. Of course, Naruto was right in that
decision. If Sasuke were in charge and one of his nins went into withdrawal,
he'd kick him off the mission, too. Likely in a much less friendly way. And it
was also true that Tsunade would likely recognize the signs of heroin use
immediately. He had been careful to stay away from Kakashi as well, for the
same reason.
He wondered why Naruto was so willing to keep his secret, considering
everything. And for how long he'd continue to do so.
-xXx-
Naruto leaned against the door outside Sasuke's house. He was relieved that
Anbu hadn't come into Sasuke's house when he'd activated the sharingan and
chidori. That would have been a mess to explain, with the shattered jar of
whatever it was Sasuke had been smoking in plain sight. They likely would have
recognized the paste that Naruto had so naively thought was some sort of spice.
At least his clone would be making sure that was completely gone before anyone
had a chance to look for it.
Naruto blew out a breath. He felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. He
wasn't sure how to handle the situation now that he knew what was going on, but
he knew he was not going to let Tsunade find out about it unless it became a
danger to Sasuke's health. Too many people in the village were looking for an
excuse like this to get the leniency he'd insisted on with regards to Sasuke
revoked. As angry and confused as Naruto was about why Sasuke had done it, he
wasn't going to let anyone use it as an excuse to get revenge when they didn't
understand the situation.
But as far as his own feelings…. Naruto looked down at his shaking hands. He
swallowed. How had he not known? How had he not seen? He remembered the day on
the sparring fields, when he had first realized what he was feeling towards
Sasuke. He sneered, recalling how he'd sworn to himself that he would not take
advantage of Sasuke, knowing how damaged he was. Self-loathing snaked through
him, and he wondered for one horrifying moment if he possibly had known at some
level about Sasuke's addiction and had ignored it because it had gotten him
what he wanted.
But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it wasn't true. No matter
how much he wanted Sasuke, he would never have taken advantage of that. If
anything, it only made it worse. He didn't want Sasuke to have sex with him
because he was horny and high. Naruto wondered now if it had even mattered to
Sasuke that it had been Naruto, or if Naruto had simply been convenient. The
thought twisted in his gut like a knife. Once again, he was proving just how
big an idiot he was. You'd think he'd have learned after being rejected and
feared his entire lifetime. His skin should be thicker by now. His instincts
sharper.
But it had always been different when Sasuke was involved. It seemed like he
would never get over the massive blind spot he had with anything associated
with his 'best friend'. It wasn't as though Sasuke had ever led him on about
any of it. Naruto had fooled himself all on his own.
Sasuke had made absolutely no proclamations of love or even friendship. He had
made sure that Naruto wasn't doing anything just because Tsunade had made him,
but… there had been nothing more than that spoken between them. Naruto had been
the one to invent some deeper meaning to the fact that - at his lowest point -
Sasuke had turned to him. He had thought that somehow that was proof that
Sasuke trusted him… felt something for him. But if he were just high, then…
maybe none of it had meant anything at all. Was that what Sasuke had meant when
he said he didn't want it slow? Maybe… it was because it didn't mean anything.
Naruto pushed himself away from the doorframe of Sasuke's house, feeling numb.
He was about to step off the porch when he paused. His own hurt feelings
weren't what mattered now. He couldn't let it distract him from what he needed
to be focusing on.
He thought about how sick Sasuke had been on the way home. And how scared and
helpless Naruto had felt when he didn't know what was wrong. He hadn't
experienced it personally, but he had heard people talk about withdrawal.
Sasuke was far from the only ninja to look to drown memories that made living
hard. He didn't know how long until the drugs wore off and the symptoms came
back, but he knew that they would definitely return.
He focused a small amount of chakra in his hand, laying his palm carefully
along the side of the door. He hoped Sasuke wouldn't notice as he placed the
seal that would enable him to teleport back here instantly. He'd tell Tsunade
that they had just been testing theories about his hands, and give her the
books and Sasuke's notes on what he had figured out. To save time, Naruto
teleported to his apartment, which was much closer to the Hokage tower than
Sasuke's house was.
When he was done with Tsunade, he was going to come back and have a longer talk
with Sasuke. Starting with finding out the name of the person who'd sold Sasuke
the drugs.
-xXx-
Sasuke could tell Naruto was standing on his porch for almost a minute after he
walked out. But he didn't go after Naruto this time. Naruto needed to get the
information to Tsunade as soon as possible. There was no telling when the
temporary stalemate between Kurama's chakra and Danzo's seal would end,
potentially putting Naruto at risk. He felt a brief flare of Naruto's chakra,
but then shortly after that the presence vanished completely. Sasuke smirked,
assuming Naruto had used his teleportation jutsu. His latest toy. He wondered
briefly if Naruto was going to go crazy with it the way he did the shadow-clone
jutsu and the rasengan.
Moderation wasn't exactly in the blond's vocabulary.
He was distracted from his thoughts by Naruto's clone as it walked past him
into the bathroom and turned the shower on, rinsing down all traces of the
contents of the glass jar. The clone occasionally shot Sasuke a wary glance, as
though expecting him to tackle him to the ground and save some of the drug.
Sasuke snorted. Like he wanted shit with ground glass in it. Though it would be
problematic if he started going into withdrawal before Naruto's hand was
healed. He had told himself he wouldn't buy more, but that was before Naruto
had smashed the original jar at a time when Sasuke could not afford to be
puking his guts out as his body was cut off from the chemical he had thought he
had been careful enough to avoid addiction to.
The clone then went around picking up all the glass, cursing under his breath
every once in a while when he used too much force and a shard pierced his
fingers.
Sasuke hadn't expected Naruto to be happy if he ever found out about the drugs.
But the intensity of the blond's reactions went beyond what he'd expected. Why
was Naruto so pissed off? Why was it any of his business what Sasuke did or
didn't do in the privacy of his own home?
The clone walked past him, taking the small silver plate and throwing it in the
garbage. Sasuke frowned as he lounged back against the door to the kitchen,
watching the clone who now appeared to be pulling out ingredients and to begin
cooking lunch. Presumably for Sasuke. He hoped the clone could cook better than
the original.
He glanced at the clock. Naruto should have reached the Hokage by now. They
hadn't exactly been in a calm state of mind when Naruto had left, so he hadn't
had a chance to tell Naruto exactly where in each book the relevant information
was. He eyed the clone for a minute, and decided to kill two birds with one
stone.
"Oi," Sasuke said to the clone, who had started to slice some onions. "Come
here."
The clone looked at him warily, but walked over anyway. Sasuke smirked. The
original would never have been so compliant.
"Pay attention. Tsunade needs to look at pages two ninety-eight to three
hundred seven in the green book. Tell her to focus especially on the third
paragraph of three hundred three. Can you remember that?" the clone's eyes
widened slightly, but he nodded. "Good," Sasuke said and proceeded to give him
the details on where to look in the other two books. He made the clone repeat
it back to him three times before he was satisfied.
"Oh, and one more thing," Sasuke said.
"What now, asshole?" the clone asked, still annoyed at being drilled on facts
like a school child. Maybe he was more like the original than Sasuke had given
him credit for.
"I don't need a babysitter." With that, Sasuke took the kunai he'd had in his
pack and ran it through the startled clone, dispelling it instantly. He
smirked. It was the fastest way to send a message, before the clone forgot all
the numbers on his way to the Hokage's office. Not to mention giving himself
the satisfaction of dispelling the clone.
Sasuke walked to the kitchen to see what the clone had been starting to cook.
He was surprised to see that - alongside the cutting board where he had been
slicing onions, the clone had laid out tomatoes, ginger, and eggplant. Sasuke
stared at the ingredients for a minute before slowly picking up the abandoned
knife and finishing cutting the onion.
He wondered what would happen when Naruto came back. Sasuke knew that there was
no way in hell Naruto was going to just let him be over this. He paused,
turning off the water that the clone had set to boil to apparently make him
some sort of vegetable soup. He had a feeling that - unless Tsunade was able to
immediately figure out which of the three mechanisms the seal was using -
Naruto wouldn't be gone that long. She would need time to do her own research
to try to figure out how to apply what Sasuke had found.
Which meant that - if Sasuke wanted to be sure he didn't go through withdrawal
at an inconvenient time - he needed to go now and buy more. Not as much as last
time. Just a small amount. Just in case. He frequented the liquor store enough
that his presence wouldn't be remarked upon. And his Anbu guard wasn't
currently following him, making this much easier than it had been the first
time.
He might not even end up using any of it, but he didn't want to be caught by
surprise again. There was a good chance that Tsunade would need him to use the
sharingan to help narrow down options. He smirked at the thought that the
prestigious and ever-reliable Hyuuga clan was evidently not in the loop on
Naruto's investigations. She wouldn't want to bring in an outsider, even for
the benefit of the byakugan. It must gall her that the rogue ninja knew what
her most reputable clan didn't.
His amusement faded at the reminder that Naruto was relying on him, whether the
blond admitted it or not. Sasuke turned the knife over in his hand. Naruto had
trusted him, telling him things that Tsunade didn't want him to know. Things
that even the elite Anbu were not allowed to know. Anbu who had remained loyal
to Konoha while Sasuke had abandoned it. Naruto had not seemed to hesitate at
all in placing his trust in him again. Sasuke didn't know why, but that single
fact seemed incredibly important to him right now. He didn't want to lose
Naruto's trust. He had managed to hold onto it somehow with everything that had
happened in the past. He wasn't going to lose it now.
He looked down at the cutting board, trying to decide what to do.
-xXx-
Naruto reached the Hokage's office quickly with the shortcut that the
transportation jutsu provided him. The guards just nodded him in, and he
knocked quickly on her door.
"What!" came the annoyed shout from within. Naruto smiled slightly as he opened
the door.
Tsunade's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Well, who would have guessed you would
have finally figured out how to actually knock on that door instead of just
barging in." Her gaze shifted to the empty doorway behind him. "Where's the
Uchiha?"
Naruto looked back, even though he knew Sasuke wouldn't be there. "He… was
exhausted after the trip. He only slept like five hours during the whole
mission. I left him at his place."
Tsunade's eyes narrowed. She could tell that Naruto was hiding something, but
she had more important things to worry about. She opened her mouth to ask what
they found when Naruto was already rushing ahead.
"We were experimenting to see if we could narrow down any of the theories we
had. If any of the guards noticed a chakra disturbance at his place, that's
probably it was."
Tsunade eyed him suspiciously, but she just nodded her head. Maybe those two
had been going at it again and he was afraid of being found out. Or maybe
they'd argued. She didn't really care either way. Naruto was standing in front
of her, obviously uninjured except for his hand. If Sasuke had meant serious
business, there would have been more damage. She motioned to the Anbu guard at
the door and sent him out to let the guards know that the situation was under
control in case they had been concerned.
"How did you manage to get back into the village without notifying the front
gate?" Genma and Raidou had been under strict orders to let her know the
instant Naruto returned to the village.
Naruto grinned, and Tsunade already knew that she wasn't going to like the
answer. "I learned how to do Dad's transportation jutsu! I teleported us back
to my apartment."
Tsunade's eyes widened. "The Hiraishin no Jutsu? Naruto! That jutsu is
extremely dangerous! When have you been practicing it?"
Naruto realized belatedly that he probably should have come up with another
answer. "Um… between missions? The Second and Dad were so awesome with it in
the battle, and…"
Tsunade's eyes softened. Of course. Just like the rasengan, it was a jutsu that
the Fourth had been famous for using. Excelling at his father's specialized
jutsus was one of Naruto's only ways of actually connecting with a father that
had died the day he was born.
But that didn't mean she was going to let him get off without reprimand. She
forced her face into a scowl, not wanting him to read any of the understanding
in her expression. "Naruto, space-time jutsus are extremely dangerous to
practice without supervision. One small mistake and you can wind up
materializing in the middle of a mountain and crushed to death. The next time
you decide to learn something like this, I want you to inform me so we can
arrange for proper supervision."
Naruto decided now wasn't the time to tell her that Kakashi had actually known
about it and encouraged him. He wouldn't rat his sensei out. "Ok, Baa-chan," he
said with false meekness, hoping to bring the conversation to an end.
Tsunade smirked. "But since you now can be summoned on an instant's notice, I
want you to place your seal on my desk. That way you can get her more promptly
when I have a job for you."
The gleam in her eye told Naruto that the nature of those jobs was likely to be
further punishment for studying the dangerous jutsu without telling her. Likely
having to do with the mountain of paperwork typically sitting unattended on her
desk.
"But Baa-chan… wouldn't it be better to put it somewhere more permanent? You
bust your desk like twice a week."
Naruto once again realized he needed to think before he spoke as he was picking
himself up from the far side of the room, rubbing his forehead. He turned
behind him to see the dent he had made when he'd flown into the wall. "One of
these days I am going to stop letting you do that to me," he grumbled, dusting
himself off.
"Hm," she smirked. "Enough playing around. What did you and your Uchiha find?"
Naruto's eyes flickered to hers at the wording she used, but he didn't say
anything about it as he pulled out the books and Sasuke's notes from his
backpack, handing them to her. Each of the three books was well over six
hundred pages long. She looked up at him. "And? What am I supposed to be
looking for in these?"
"Well…" Naruto began somewhat fumblingly. "There are three possibilities that
Sasuke figured out." He tried to remember the exact wording that Sasuke had
used. "Um, the first, has to do with souls, and, uh -"
Naruto's head snapped back as the information from the dispelled clone rushed
in. "Fucking bastard," he mumbled under his breath. He couldn't help a small
smile, though. Sasuke clearly cared enough about the outcome of this to make
sure he got the relevant information to Tsunade as soon as possible. Either
that or he'd just really wanted to run Naruto through with his kunai. Both
options had likely held merit to the nuke nin.
With the page numbers and a much more articulate description of the findings
now fresh in his head, Naruto quickly recited what Sasuke had drilled into his
clone before dispelling it.
Tsunade wrote quickly, nodding her head and opening one of the texts to the
pages indicated.
"Yes. This is very helpful. I'll have Sai come in and work with Shizune and me
on this," she set the book aside, motioning with her elegant (but lethal)
fingers for Naruto to come over. He complied, though he kept a wary eye on her
fingertips. "I want to check your hand to see if there is any change from the
last time."
Naruto dutifully held his hand out, allowing the medic nin to examine it
thoroughly.
"It is only slightly progressed from three days ago. I repaired the tissue
again. The damage had recurred. I want you and Sasuke to come to my office
tomorrow at noon. By then I will have had a chance to read over the materials
you sent and compare them with what we found while you were gone. Hopefully
we'll be able to make use of his sharingan to try a few things out and see if
we can heal your hand, or at least narrow down the options for what the
mechanism is."
Naruto nodded, relieved that it looked like they were getting closer to a
solution about his hand, but worried about what kind of shape Sasuke would be
in tomorrow. He couldn't even use the excuse that Sasuke was sick, because the
Hokage would just want to see him even more then.
Tsunade turned her attention back to the book, clearly dismissing him. Naruto
decided he needed to get back to Sasuke as soon as possible and try to talk to
him about what to do. He had no idea how long the effects of the drug would
last, but he really hoped Sasuke wouldn't still be high when he got there.
Tsunade looked up, annoyed to find Naruto still standing there. "Well? Don't
you have things to do besides watch me read?"
With a smirk, Naruto activated the transportation jutsu and vanished from the
Hokage's office, causing the remaining Anbu guard's eyes to widen in shock.
Tsunade stared at the spot where the blond ninja had been an instant before, a
small smile playing about her lips. "Baka," she murmured affectionately, before
calling to Shizune to summon Sai and meet her in the Hokage Library.
-xXx-
to be continued…
***** Connections *****
Chapter Summary
     Thanks to Mykko_chan for the late-night therapy and hand-holding
     sessions while I struggled with this part of the story. Love you,
     babe.
Author's note: Ok, so for those of you who saw my updated note on the previous
chapter on ff, this part of the story is incredibly painful for me to write and
I hadn't expected it to be. Writing this made me think about all the things I
could have/should have done to save my friend. It made me realize that I am not
as good a friend as Naruto, and my friend was not as strong as Sasuke will be
in this story. And that was hard to face. So the next chapter or two will be a
little tough on me, instead of being therapeutic as I had hoped. I have to be
in a certain headspace to write it and so there might be times when updates are
a little delayed like this one was. Real life just really sucks. Fanfic is so
much better. It always ends the way I want it to. *sighs*
-xXx-
Naruto teleported himself to his own apartment rather than going directly to
Sasuke's. He had no idea if Sasuke had more of the drug in his house, or if the
Anbu had had seen anything before Tsunade had called them back. But he needed
to get his head on straight and try to figure out what he was going to say to
the Uchiha when he got there.
As much as he still felt like hurling his friend into the nearest wall, he knew
that wasn't going to help anything. And it wasn't any fun when Sasuke couldn't
pound him right back.
He stood in his bedroom, hands on his hips as he considered his options. He
needed a shower. And he needed some sleep. But he didn't want to leave Sasuke
alone for very long. Sleep was out of the question.
He hadn't really had time to process the fact that Sasuke had been taking drugs
as well as drinking. And what that might mean. Sasuke had always been
meticulous about his home, appearance, and behavior. He was a man who liked to
be in control of himself at all times. Naruto had been shocked to see the state
of the Uchiha's home and person the first night he had gone there. But this…
the idea that Sasuke would willingly diminish his mental capacities and slow
his physical responses, that he would willingly hand over control of himself
like shook Naruto to his core.
And while Naruto was still furious that Sasuke would do something like that to
himself, the emotion he felt most strongly at the moment was panic. Sasuke
would only do this if he had given up on everything else.
Ninjas who used heavy drugs didn't live long. The dulling of the mind and
slowing of the reflexes, even if only slight, was a virtual death sentence in
their line of work. Sasuke would be aware of this, which made his choice even
more of a blow to Naruto.
Sasuke had always been one of the most driven people Naruto had ever known. He
had been focused on his goals to the exclusion of almost everything else in his
life. Friends, village, health, safety… all were sacrificed on the altar of
Sasuke's goal for revenge. He had pushed himself relentlessly, going beyond any
reasonable physical and mental limitations. He had honed himself into a nearly
perfect, emotionless killing machine. One of the greatest ninjas of their time.
And now…
Naruto's hand clenched as he thought about what might really happen to Sasuke.
It wasn't just a matter of going to jail. Sasuke was… losing himself. And that
terrified Naruto. Because he knew what it felt like to stand on that precipice
of loss-of-self and look into that abyss. Iruka, Sasuke, and eventually Kurama
had been there when Naruto had had his moments of weakness and helped draw him
back. But Sasuke had no one now that Itachi was gone. Except maybe Naruto, but
Naruto wasn't really sure how much Sasuke really felt a bond with him anymore.
Naruto drew a shaky breath. Was his friendship with Sasuke strong enough to be
able to reach Sasuke? As much as he wanted it to be true, Naruto didn't think
so. It hadn't been strong enough to keep Sasuke from leaving the village so
many years ago. And if anything, time would only have weakened it. But he had
to try. He just didn't know how.
Naruto knew that he wouldn't be 'the reason Sasuke went on living.' He was no
longer naïve about things like that as he had been when he was a child. Sasuke
needed an actual purpose. A tangible goal. Did he still know his friend well
enough to help him find something? Would Sasuke even listen?
He honestly didn't know. Mechanically, he walked to the bathroom, quickly
peeling off his clothes and wadding them up into a ball to throw into his
hamper across the room. He stepped into the shower without bothering to let the
water warm up, not wanting to waste any time. He quickly scrubbed the dirt and
sweat of their journey from his body as he used the time to gather his
thoughts.
He couldn't just go up to Sasuke and tell him that 'drugs are bad' and expect
that to have any impact on the Uchiha. Sasuke was smart. He knew the risks of
what he was doing, and had still made the decision to take them. And no matter
how much Naruto disagreed with that choice, simply re-listing the facts of why
drugs were bad or dangerous would do nothing.
The thought of beating some sense into Sasuke wasn't entirely unappealing, but
Naruto knew that would only be temporary. No one could watch over Sasuke for
the rest of his life and police him. In the end, it would be Sasuke's choice if
he got off the drugs or not. What Naruto needed to do was to give Sasuke a good
enough reason to quit.
Danzo and the council were dead. Sasuke didn't have any family left to protect
or support. He didn't have a village he believed in to defend.
Naruto toweled himself off, not noticing that he had missed some soap on his
back in his rush. He dressed quickly, jamming a few pair of spare clothes into
his pack.
What would matter enough to Sasuke to make him fight this? What would be enough
to make him want to get his shit together again? It was possible that Sasuke
really just didn't give enough of a fuck about anyone anymore to fight for
anything.
Naruto felt his hands prickle with a cold sweat, and a hollow nausea twist his
stomach. He had always viewed Sasuke as his other half. Different sides but of
the same coin. What is a coin with only one side?
Naruto felt unbalanced. He had fought so hard to earn the position of Hokage,
always assuming that somehow, at the end of it all, Sasuke would be there with
him. They would face the challenges of reforming the system together and make
sure that what happened to them didn't happen again to anyone else.
What kind of Hokage would he be if he wasn't able to save his best friend? If
his vision wasn't enough to convince his most important person to join him? It
had always been about Sasuke first. None of it would matter if he lost Sasuke
at the end of it all. When Itachi had asked Naruto if he had to choose between
Sasuke and the rest of the village, the best Naruto had been able to come up
with was 'both'. He couldn't lose either one.
He couldn't. Especially not now, after...
Naruto shut his mind off that line of thinking. He had barely been able to come
to terms with the idea of Sasuke being on drugs. The fact that Naruto had
fucked him when he was high was something he just didn't know how to process
right then. He grabbed his pillow and blanket, rolling them up and stuffing a
few changes of clothes into his pack.
Sasuke had always enjoyed his privacy, and Naruto knew he didn't really have
any right to do what he was about to do, but that wasn't going to stop him. It
had never been about 'rights' or 'permission' between them anyway.
Naruto wasn't naive. He knew that he couldn't make Sasuke quit if the man
didn't want to. But he could sure as hell try to convince him. He wouldn't just
sit back passively and watch it happen.
He had never been passive about anything that mattered in his life. He was not
going to start now.
===============================================================================
Sasuke lounged back on the futon in his living room. He knew he should probably
worry about what Naruto was going to do now that he'd found out about the
drugs, but that felt like a distant issue for the moment. The opium always made
things seem better. At least, while he was on them.
Right now he felt good.
He had purchased a smaller vial of the opium, ignoring the shopkeeper's smug
look. The man assumed that Sasuke had already gone through the much larger jar
and was about to become a very profitable, long-term customer.
Sasuke knew better. He'd just purchased enough to get him through the next week
or two without going into withdrawal. Then he'd quit. He wouldn't let some drug
control him.
He must have miscalculated somehow. He'd seen Orochimaru's experiments on opium
addiction. And he had been careful to use less than what he'd observed to cause
dependency. But the brain chemistry of the sharingan holders had always been
different. It had been the one variable he hadn't been able to account for.
Sasuke stretched, laying back on the futon and letting his mind go blissfully
blank. He ignored the whisper of doubt as to whether he really wanted to give
this feeling up. He'd deal with it later. He was sure he could control it. He'd
stop when he needed to. Right now he was simply enjoying the feeling.
His thoughts drifted to Naruto. Despite how angry Naruto had been when he left,
Sasuke knew the blond would be back today. Naruto wasn't one to just walk away
from something he thought was 'wrong'. And evidently he had decided that Sasuke
doing drugs was 'wrong'. Sasuke snickered at the thought.
In many ways, Naruto was still so innocent. He had been so shockedwhen he'd
found out Sasuke had been using. It was somewhat amusing.
Sasuke had lost his innocence long ago. It had been hacked away by Danzo, the
Council, Itachi, Orochimaru, and Madara. And of course, the village. Especially
the village. He knew he had done things that Naruto would never even consider
doing. Sometimes it puzzled Sasuke how Naruto had managed to retain his
innocence and optimism in the face of the hatred and abuse the villagers had
heaped upon him. It was something Sasuke could never understand. He wasn't sure
if it was a strength or a weakness in Naruto. He supposed, in the end, it was
both.
But it fascinated him… drew him. The darkness in Sasuke's soul hungered to
touch that light. To possess it. But at the same time, he held himself back,
knowing that in touching it he would taint it.
As everything in his life that he'd ever touched had been tainted and
destroyed.
He didn't want that to happen to Naruto as well.
The thought of something bad happening to Naruto caused frisson of worry to
cross his fogged mind. He wondered if the idiot had been able to relay the
information that his clone had delivered, or if he'd garbled it all up.
Hopefully, Tsunade wouldn't have to dig through all the pages to find what she
needed. That would waste time that they didn't really have. Sasuke clicked his
tongue in annoyance. Dobe.
He felt a familiar chakra appear literally on his doorstep, and wondered why it
made him smile slightly.
===============================================================================
Naruto stood on the front steps of Sasuke's house. He realized that there was a
decent chance that Sasuke would realize he had teleported back here and… marked
his house. He fidgeted briefly. The Uchiha's were fairly territorial. Their
clan symbol typically decorated most of their belongings, proclaiming their
ownership. He wasn't sure what Sasuke's reaction would be to him placing his
seal on Sasuke's home.
Drawing a breath, he pushed open the door. Given that he was basically about to
move in to Sasuke's house without permission, he figured that the seal was the
least of the things Sasuke was about to get pissed at him for.
"Hey," Naruto called into the house, wondering for a moment if Sasuke was even
home. "You still here?"
"Hn, Dobe," a lazy voice called from the living room. "Did your clone manage to
remember all the information I gave him?"
"Tch. Yeah. Asshole. Tsunade wants us to come down to see her again tomorrow to
try a few things out after she reads through what you found," Naruto said, his
tone uncertain. He wasn't sure if Sasuke would be in any shape to do so.
Setting his bag down, he walked into the living room. He looked at Sasuke for a
moment, taking in the relaxed, languid expression on the beautiful face. They
way Sasuke's body was sprawled carelessly, as though he were not one of the
most highly skilled ninjas in existence. Naruto felt his temper flare at the
reminder of what made the nin like this.
Sasuke easily read the flash of anger in Naruto's eyes, and smirked in
amusement at it. "Did you come to tell me how wrong it was for me to do it?"
Sasuke sneered.
Naruto clenched his fists, but held himself still, reminding himself that he'd
already decided that beating Sasuke's high ass into the ground was not the best
approach. As temporarily satisfying as it might be.
He took a breath, forcing his fists to unclench, searching for something that
would throw Sasuke out of his complacency about the whole thing. "I was just
surprised that you would be that stupid. I never thought there would come a day
when I was actually smarter than you."
A slight flush of anger appeared along Sasuke's cheekbones, and Naruto knew
he'd scored a direct hit. Sasuke might not be vain about his flawless looks,
but his pride about his intellect hadn't changed over the years.
"What, you thought you could avoid getting hooked? That's what all junkies
think," Naruto imbued that last phrase with all the disdain he could, taunting
Sasuke, wanting to break through the drug-induced calm that he hated so much.
"Fuck you," Sasuke turned his head to the side and looking out the window to
the empty, rubble-filled streets. "Like you've ever spent any time talking with
the kind of nins who use drugs. What would you know about anything?"
Naruto bit his lip, not sure what to say. Sasuke was right. "I know you,"
Naruto stated softly, looking at Sasuke's profile as the late afternoon sun
streamed in through the window, making Sasuke's black hair look almost blue.
"You always say that," Sasuke murmured, still not looking at Naruto.
Naruto didn't know what to say that he hadn't said already years ago. It was
the same argument they'd had many times. Sasuke would say that Naruto couldn't
understand how he felt, because Naruto had been alone from the beginning and
didn't know what it was like to lose bonds that had been so core to his
foundation. It was an impossible argument to win. How do you really prove that
you understand someone? That your whole focus for so many years had been
studying, watching, and thinking about that person until it felt as though they
were a part of you?
Naruto studied Sasuke's perfect profile for a moment, aching with his swirling
emotions trapped inside him by lack of any words to express them. He walked
over and sat down on the futon next to Sasuke. They looked out the window
together for several moments, neither speaking.
"I might not feel everything exactly the same as you, Sasuke. But I have
learned about loss. Jiraiya was as close to a father as I will ever have. He
trained me. Protected me. He… cared about me. But he went on a mission without
telling me what it was. He left me behind, and I had no chance to help, to
intervene, to do fucking anything. I only found out where he'd gone after he
was dead. And I…" Naruto stared down at his hands, remembering the daze he had
been in when he heard the news that Jiraiya was dead. Naruto felt his throat
close, the memory still raw. "... I didn't know what to do. I was so angry that
Baa-chan had let him go. And then I just… was numb. It got so bad that
Shikamaru actually came and kicked me in the ass and told me to stop moping
around."
Sasuke didn't look at him, but gave a soft snort at the irony of the lazy nin
giving a pep talk to anyone.
"He had lost Asuma Sensei, and… he told me that… it was time to stop thinking
of myself as the student… as the child… and pass what Jiraiya had taught me
onto someone else. That we have learned things that deserve to be passed on,
not just… wasted in grief."
Sasuke was silent for so long that Naruto wasn't sure he had even heard him.
"There are two differences between you and me," Sasuke said finally. "Both of
you were given the chance to kill the people who were responsible for killing
your mentors." Sasuke turned and looked Naruto dead in the eye. "And both of
you feel like this village is worth giving a damn about."
He stood and walked over to his bedroom. "You know the way out."
Naruto stared bleakly after his friend, unsure how to reach him. Knowing that
his first attempt had failed. "I'm not leaving," Naruto stated quietly. He was
sure this would be no surprise to the Uchiha. Sasuke should know better than
anyone that Naruto didn't give up.
Sasuke paused, but didn't look back over his shoulder. "Whatever," he closed
the bedroom door behind him.
Naruto sighed, leaning back on the futon and scrubbing his hands over his face.
He hadn't even gotten a response from Sasuke about Tsunade expecting them to
come together to her office the next day.
Maybe Sasuke wouldn't even want to go. If he was even going to be in any shape
to do so by then.
===============================================================================
Sasuke closed the door and paused, staring blankly at his bed, carefully not
thinking about what had transpired there just a few days ago. He had been a bit
annoyed that Naruto had seemed to imply that he was moping, but he wrote that
up to the blond not really being all that great with words. He understood what
Naruto was trying to do. Trying to show him that he could understand Sasuke,
because now he had suffered 'real loss' as well.
Losing a teacher wasn't the same as losing an entire family. But given how few
bonds Naruto had and how deeply he had craved them, Sasuke knew it was not an
insignificant loss, either. He had heard the news shortly after Jiraiya had
died. News of the Sanin's death at the hands of Pein had spread like wildfire
through the ninja villages. Sasuke had been surprised to learn of the man's
death. Even Itachi had been unsure whether he could defeat the sage, and in
Sasuke's mind, there was no one more powerful than his brother.
It had been one of the times when Sasuke had felt an almost visceral pull to go
back and see Naruto. He knew that the boy who had craved a bond for so long
would feel the loss deeply. But the reasons that had kept him from returning to
his friend then were the same that had made him leave in the first place. If
anything, they had only grown stronger now that Naruto no longer had the
protection of Jiraiya. The Sanin had saved Naruto from Itachi the first time.
Now, there was no one strong enough in the village who could save the blond,
and Sasuke knew he had to stay away until he had killed Itachi.
But he had thought of his friend. Imagined his grief. Known there would be no
one who could truly understand what it felt like to be completely alone. Not
like they did. The loneliness of a child is different than that of an adult. It
is laced with the fear, the inability to understand the events that had caused
it. Loneliness like they had lived through as children ate holes in a person
that never really went away.
Even though Sasuke always said that Naruto couldn't understand him, he could
admit at least to himself that in many ways, Naruto was the only one would
could. When Sasuke had found out that Naruto was the Nine Tails' Jinchuuriki,
he had realized that they had yet another point in common. They were both
viewed by the village as weapons, not children. Him for his sharingan and
bloodline, Naruto for being the Kyuubi container. They were not considered
human by the village. No one would try to comfort a weapon. So they had been
left alone, watched over just enough to be sure they were sufficiently trained
to be of use if needed. To be sure the danger they represented was contained.
Controlled. Especially Naruto. Sasuke felt his anger at the village surge
through the haze of his high as he remembered the sneers and taunts the
villagers had hurled at the lonely blond child. How Naruto had acted out, so
desperate for any sort of acknowledgement of his existence that he didn't care
if it were only anger and fear that he received.
He had been the only one in their class to recognize Naruto's loneliness from
the start. Because it was the same as his own.
With the death of Jiraiya, Naruto had learned the feeling of loss, as well.
Sasuke had heard the grief and loneliness in Naruto's voice when he had spoken
of Jiraiya's. It was a feeling Sasuke knew well. His entire childhood had been
bathed in it.
Hearing that emotion in Naruto's voice had brought it back to the surface
within Sasuke as well, and he hadn't been able to deal with it. It just made
him feel impotent in his anger. He couldn't undo what had been done. And the
people who had brought it about were already dead, past his reach for
vengeance.
He was left with nothing.
Surprisingly, Naruto hadn't blown up at him for walking away or saying what he
had. He supposed that, in a way, Naruto understood Sasuke. Maybe even agreed
with him, at least in part. Naruto had not pretended to shed a tear when news
that the Council was dead had arrived. And the blond ninja was trying to clear
Itachi's name.
Sasuke could hear Naruto moving about in the living room… the muffled sounds of
a pack being unzipped. Evidently Naruto hadn't left.
He had noticed the large pack that Naruto had brought. Presumably it meant the
man was planning on staying here for several days. Probably to make sure Sasuke
didn't take any more opium.
Sasuke knew that it should annoy him that Naruto he had any right to interfere.
He should be angry. But somehow… he wasn't. He walked over to the bed and lay
down, looking blankly at the ceiling. If anything, he felt… relieved.
He frowned slightly. Why should he be happy that the soon-to-be-Sixth Hokage
had decided to take a personal interest in his drug habits? It would only make
things harder. Make it more difficult for Sasuke to do what he wanted.
Sasuke paused a bit at the thought. He realized that he didn't really know what
he wanted.
But he did know that he was glad Naruto had stayed.
Despite it being the middle of the afternoon, he stripped off his shirt pulling
a light sheet over him and going to sleep.
===============================================================================
Naruto checked on Sasuke several times during the evening. He created a clone
to keep watch while he slept, both to ensure that Sasuke didn't get sick but
also checking periodically for any telltale sign of the heavy, sweat smoke that
would indicate Sasuke was trying to use again. He knew it would make him weary
the next day, but he wasn't going to take any chances.
He'd have to figure out how to monitor Sasuke while he was at Tsunade's without
the Uchiha simply dispatching the clone as he did before. Maybe he'd have it
hide on the roof and mask its chakra. But then it wouldn't be able to tell if
Sasuke did something. Naruto spent several hours scoping Sasuke's house out,
trying to find a hiding place that the clone could use to stay in the house but
not be observed.
The bar for a hiding spot that could fool an S-ranked ninja was fairly high,
however, and Naruto wasn't able to come up with anything that he thought would
last more than three minutes after Sasuke woke up.
He drifted off into a restless sleep, not sure what to do.
===============================================================================
In the morning, Naruto made himself a quick breakfast. He showered and changed,
knowing he would be expected at the Hokage's office soon. He was still debating
on where to hide the clone and what excuse to give Tsunade about why Sasuke
wasn't with him when Sasuke stepped out of his bedroom carrying a change of
neatly folded clothes.
"I'm going to shower. We'll leave in ten minutes," Sasuke stated impassively.
Some of Naruto's shock must have shown on his face, because Sasuke frowned
slightly. "What? You thought I wouldn't help?"
"Well, you…" Naruto just blinked, not really sure what to say. He hadn't even
been sure that Sasuke would have remembered that they were going to meet
Tsunade today. The Uchiha hadn't acknowledged it the other day. "... you didn't
really say anything yesterday, and you were… pretty out of it, so I just
figured…"
Sasuke looked at him a moment, his face its usual expressionless mask but
somehow Naruto thought Sasuke was… hurt.
"Tch," Sasuke turned and headed into the bathroom, closing the door with
slightly more force than necessary, but not quite slamming it. His black eyes
had been sharp and focused, no residual sign of the drug affecting him.
Naruto slowly released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Had he
thought Sasuke wouldn't help him? He just… didn't know. Sasuke had been willing
to literally run himself until he dropped to get the information from
Orochimaru's library for him. No one had made Sasuke do that. Naruto tried to
remember if he'd thanked Sasuke for what he did. He'd been so worried when
Sasuke was so sick. Then he'd found out about the drugs and…
Naruto walked over to the kitchen and heated up some of the rice porridge he'd
made the night before while Sasuke was sleeping. He was pretty sure the other
nin hadn't eaten dinner. Naruto would make him eat something before they left.
Sasuke came out of the bathroom, his hair still damp from the shower, a towel
around his neck. He was fully dressed, his shirt zipped up completely, but
Naruto couldn't help but remember the last time he'd seen Sasuke in the shower.
He broke away from the dark gaze and turned back to the stove where the rice
porridge he was stirring had begun to steam. He had no right to think about
that. Not now that he knew what was happening with his friend. A wave of self-
disgust washed over him that he still lusted after his friend even after
knowing that Sasuke hadn't been in control of his actions when those things had
happened.
"I made some porridge yesterday. You went to sleep without eating," Naruto
said, not taking his eyes from the pan. He could feel the intensity of Sasuke's
gaze, and for some reason he didn't know how to face it.
"Thank you," Sasuke murmured. He walked over to where the small laundry room
was, placing his clothes in the hamper there.
The fact that Sasuke was showering and taking care of his dirty clothes made
Naruto feel somehow much calmer. He dished some of the rice for Sasuke, and a
smaller bowl for himself to keep the man company. He had eaten his own
breakfast earlier, but he always found sharing a meal with someone a comfort.
Probably due to the fact that so much of his life had been spent eating alone.
Like Sasuke.
The silence between them felt stiff and slightly awkward as Naruto stirred the
food in his bowl, not making eye contact.
"Thanks," Naruto said finally, looking up to meet Sasuke's questioning gaze.
Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "For what?"
Naruto stopped fidgeting with the spoon. "For… for helping me research the
seal, even though…" he paused, but didn't break eye contact. "... even though
you didn't have to, and had a lot to deal with here. And thanks for going with
me this morning."
Naruto could have sworn that a small hint of color etched along Sasuke's cheek
bones, but it could have just been the light. "Hn," was the reply.
Naruto rolled his eyes. Of course. "Are you feeling… ok?"
Sasuke nodded. "It had been three days before I got sick last time. I should be
fine until the day after tomorrow." Sasuke shrugged, as though the thought of
going into withdrawal again was no big deal.
"Ok, well… I'll be here," Naruto stated, half in comfort and half as an
assertion, almost daring Sasuke to kick him out or tell him to leave.
Sasuke hesitated, a look of what on anyone else Naruto would have said was
uncertainty before the pale hand picked up his spoon. "Hn."
Naruto couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face as he joined Sasuke in
eating the rapidly cooling rice.
This time, the silence was comfortable rather than awkward.
-xXx-
to be continued…
So next chapter we will find out more about the seal, and what Tsunade wants to
try. And Sai will be there.
I know some people might think Naruto is OOC in this chapter because he is not
being an idiot with how to handle Sasuke's drug thing (e.g., not threatening
him or trying to 'force' him off the drugs). imo I am drawing on the fact that
canon!Naruto is able to read people and influence them even in really difficult
situations. He seems to be able to say or do something that will cut through
the shit and change people. And he knows Sasuke well, so he knows what would be
useless to try. In the end, this is the element of Naruto's character that I
will draw on in this chapter and the next. So I guess it is not his "IQ" but
his "EQ" or whatever.
***** The seal *****
Warning: boy x boyaggressive kissing, nothing too crazy. Sasuke being slightly
unstable and not able to identify emotions properly (if you are shocked then we
were not reading the same manga LOL).
Author's note: Thanks to Mykko_Chan for reading this and letting me know where
I wasn't being clear, and helping me figure out how to show what I wanted to
show here.  *hugs*
-xXx-
After putting their bowls in the sink, Naruto turned to Sasuke.
"Ready?"
Sasuke gave him a flat look, as though he had been waiting already for an hour.
Annoyed, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm, deciding not to warn him before he
teleported them directly to the Hokage's office.
Sasuke managed not to stumble this time, but still leveled a glare at Naruto. A
look that was seconded by Tsunade who had been napping at her desk.
"Naruto," she growled. "We have discussed your lack of knocking etiquette. What
if I'd had a confidential meeting going on in here?"
"Hey, you're the one who insisted that I leave my mark here so I could come
more quickly. Besides, there's nothing confidential about what goes on between
you and your sake in here," Naruto said, sounding every bit the brat he had
been in his youth. He grinned, unable to hide his pride at finally being able
to use the jutsu his father had been famous for.
Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if Naruto started using to teleport between
brushing his teeth and going to bed. Naruto's obsession with new jutsus didn't
seem to have faded as he aged. Sasuke felt his lips twitch as he remembered
what Naruto was like when he'd first learned his 'sexy jutsu'. Then the shadow
clone jutsu. Then the rasengan.
Tsunade and Sasuke exchanged a look of mutual amusement at the blond until they
remembered that they didn't necessarily like each other, and quickly broke eye
contact.
Tsunade schooled her face to sternness, tapping her well-manicured fingernails
together.
"Uchiha," she greeted Sasuke formally.
"Hokage-sama," he responded, his words polite, his tone slightly mocking.
She narrowed her eyes, but didn't remark on it. It was time to get down to
business.
"Thank you for the books you sent, as well as your notes. It gave us quite a
bit to work with. I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that Orochimaru's library
is so well-stocked," she said, and for just a moment her face took on a
slightly wistful expression that reminded Naruto and Sasuke that - at one point
- her relationship with Orochimaru had been like their own. Teammates…
childhood friends. Then enemies. Maybe there was a chance they could be friends
again, now that things had shifted after the war. But that would be a
consideration for another day.
She stood, brushing the shadows of her past aside. "Naruto mentioned that you
were fatigued from your journey, so I appreciate your coming here today. We
don't have time to approach this problem theoretically, and tampering with
seals live is a tricky business. Having the extra insight provided by the
Byakugan or the Sharingan will greatly reduce the risks to Naruto. Kakashi is
on a mission until tomorrow, and I would prefer not to wait, given the
circumstances."
Sasuke bowed his head slightly, acknowledging both the implicit compliment in
his abilities as well as his willingness to help.
"Sai and Shizune are waiting for us in the library. We will conduct our
experiments there."
Tsunade turned and walked down the hall toward the library, knowing the two
ninjas would follow her. She hadn't missed the slight tension in Sasuke's eyes
at the mention of Sai's name, and she wondered if there was bad blood between
the two. Sai had also seemed underwhelmed when she had informed him that Sasuke
would be joining them for the experiments.
Mentally, she shrugged. She had no patience for teenage boys and their pissing
contests. She was Hokage and they had better fucking suck it up and do what she
said.
===============================================================================
Shizune and Sai looked up from the books they were reading when Naruto, Sasuke
and Tsunade entered the room.
"Naruto," Sai stood, his face concerned as he immediately walked over to him,
picking up Naruto's arm and examining it. "Tsunade told me what happened. I
regret that I was unable to prevent you from being damaged by Danzo's seal. I…
I should have -"
Naruto cut him off, noticing the uncharacteristic display of emotion from his
friend. "I was the one who set it off, Sai. Neither of us could have avoided
it. Luckily Sasuke noticed something was off with my hand. I just thought I'd
slept funny on it or something. It probably would have taken me a week on my
own to realize it was more serious."
Naruto shot a grin at Sasuke as he said it, and found the man's gaze fixed on
Sai, where the older nin was still holding Naruto's arm. Sai looked at Sasuke
but didn't acknowledge him in anyway.
Naruto wondered how it was possible for two such emotionless faces to somehow
convey both contempt and dislike for each other. He knew that Sai held a bit of
a grudge against Sasuke for all the shit Team 7 had gone through trying to
bring the missing nin back, but he had no idea why Sasuke seemed to dislike
Sai.
Though, there was the fact that the first time they met, Sai was trying to
assassinate Sasuke on Danzo's orders. Though Sai had changed his mind before he
had actually tried to kill him. At least… Naruto was pretty sure he had. Still,
probably not the best way to start a friendship.
Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the level of tension between Sai and Sasuke. "You
will find it an extremely unpleasant experience if I need to separate the two
of you," she said tersely as the two dark-haired nins continued to try to outdo
each other with expressionless dislike.
Naruto pulled his hand free from Sai's grip and turned to Tsunade, trying to
break the tense atmosphere. "So… you said something about experiments that you
needed Sasuke's Sharingan for?"
Naruto tried to not notice that Sai and Sasuke were still glaring-not-glaring
at each other. Or that Sasuke seemed to be slightly smirking at Naruto's last
statement. Seriously, what the hell was with those two?
"Yes. After reading through the books Sasuke found, I agree with his assessment
that - of the three options he found - the second two are the most likely.
Given that the seal was attached to a book rather than a living person, the
Reaper seals would not work. In order to determine which of the other two seal
types is in play, we need to examine both Naruto's hand and possibly the book
more closely. The Byakugan would be better at actually visualizing the chakra
pathways to see how damaged they are, but I don't want to bring anyone else in
on this until we are further along in tracking down the other parties."
Sasuke's gaze snapped from Sai to focus on Tsunade at her last comment, missing
the mocking look Sai had sent him at the notion that Hyuuga eyes might be
better than Uchiha eyes. "There are other parties involved in this that you are
tracking down?"
Naruto's eyes widened at he looked at Tsunade. Of all the things she would let
slip, this was the last one he had expected. Even hewasn't sure Sasuke wouldn't
just decapitate any other complicit parties on the spot if he learned about
them, and he was Sasuke's main supporter.
Tsunade simply eyed Sasuke for a moment. "That information is only shareable
with Anbu members, I'm afraid."
It was a direct challenge. Sasuke frowned slightly. She was saying… she was
implying that if Sasuke became Anbu…
"So which of the experiments that we discussed do you want to start with?"
Shizune asked, eying Sasuke's tense body warily. "Anything involving the book
we need to do in a sealed, controlled environment."
"Agreed," Tsunade said, finally breaking eye contact with the Uchiha, once she
was sure her message had been received properly. She might still have her
reservations about him, but she would be a fool to leave him to his own devices
for long. If she didn't provide him a way to re-engage with the village, then
another village - or worse, another organization unaffiliated with any village
- would lure him away again. It hadn't escaped her notice that Sasuke was
showing an increasing level of protectiveness towards Naruto. Protection of the
next Hokage was the next best thing to actual loyalty to the Leaf. If Sasuke
were loyal to Naruto, even if he had no loyalty to the village itself, that
would be sufficient for Tsunade to accept him back as an active nin.
But it would be up to Sasuke to make the next move and straighten himself out
enough to be battle-ready again. She knew that Naruto was keeping things from
her about the Uchiha's mental condition. And she hadn't missed the signs of
dissipation on the former rogue nin's face over the past months, being more
than familiar with the signs from her own experience. Shizune had been the one
to keep her from losing herself completely.
Tsunade had gambled on Naruto to be that same anchor for Sasuke. And like every
bet she'd made on the loud shinobi (and unlike every other bet she made), it
seemed to be paying off. She could already see an improvement in the focus of
the dark eyes, a flickering of life where previously there had only been a
cold, dead gaze. The fact that Sasuke was here, in the Hokage library, showing
an active interest in working with them on this was proof enough that things
were changing. Her thoughts were brought back to the conversation happening in
the room around her.
"Since the seal wasn't visible until it actually triggered, we don't have much
information on its characteristics to help us narrow down the options," Sai was
saying. "I researched some of the known seals that fall into the two categories
that the Hokage and the Uchiha said we should focus on."
He unfurled a long scroll, with different patterns sketched across it. "You
were the only one to really see it, Naruto. Do any of these look familiar?"
Naruto skimmed through the set of sketches.
"No," Naruto said, sounding slightly frustrated. "It was... much more
complicated. The chakra lines were much denser and more… twisted around each
other," Naruto explained, using his hands to vaguely try to show what he meant.
Sai cocked his head to the side, frowning at the unhelpful description. "Hm.
Can you draw it?"
Naruto shook his head in frustration. He'd only seen the fucking thing for less
than a second, and at the time, he'd been more focused on trying to sense the
chakra flows and counter it when he realized it was going off. Not to mention
he could barely draw a stick figure, much less a complicated seal pattern.
Tsunade frowned, looking at Naruto as though considering something she hadn't
before. "Naruto. Instead of sketching it, could you create a real version of
the actual seal with chakra?"
Both Sasuke and Sai's eyes widened at the question. "Tsunade-sama," Sai began.
"Learning a seal of this level of complexity would take years. Accidentally
setting it off once doesn't mean -"
"I think so," Naruto said, uncomfortably, his mind already recalling the way
the chakra had uncoiled when the seal had triggered. "It wouldn't be as perfect
as the original, but I think I got the basics of it. I don't think it's a good
idea, though. Once I set it, I'd have no idea how to disarm it except the way I
did it the first time."
Tsunade simply nodded, smirking slightly at the shocked expressions on Sasuke's
and Sai's faces.
"The Uzumaki clan's ability with fuuinjutsu is similar to the Uchiha clan's
ability with ninjutsu," she explained. "They have almost an instinctual
understanding of seals, and an ability to replicate even extremely complex
seals after encountering them."
Sasuke turned and looked at Naruto, his expression unreadable.
Naruto looked at Tsunade, both shock and excitement showing on his face.
"Really? That's so cool! Why didn't anyone tell me that earlier?"
Tsunade looked at him drily. "Because, in order to 'encounter' a seal, you
either need to trigger it or have the creator let you watch them set it. Most
clans are very secretive when it comes to seals, especially after the Uzumaki
clan and the entire Hidden Eddy village was destroyed for possessing so many
dangerous seals. And setting them off without knowing their secrets is just as
likely to get you killed as it is to let you learn a new seal."
Naruto thought about it a bit. It did explain why he was able to almost
instinctively open Kurama's seal after he'd seen the instructions behind it. He
hadn't really encountered many other seals of that level, since ninjutsu was
more common.
"Ok, so… are we doing this, or what?" Naruto asked, his excitement in finding
out about his special skill with seals tempered by the fact that it was an
extremely dangerous seal, and if he set it wrong or someone else triggered it,
he was likely to kill someone.
Sai spoke before Tsunade could respond. "Don't set it all the way. Just lay the
beginnings of it, so I can see the basic form. We can research the details
depending on what it's built on. I'll try to capture the patterns as you lay
them down."
Sasuke's face had no expression as he looked at Sai briefly before turning back
to Naruto. "I can watch the flow of chakra, both in your arm and in the scroll.
If anything looks like it's triggering something back into your arm, I'll see
it."
Shizune nodded. "I'll monitor his chakra pathways in his hand and make sure
there is no physical damage from the seal-making process." The medic nin went
and stood next to Naruto, laying her hand over his, the soft green glow of her
own chakra reaching down into his skin.
Tsunade handed Naruto a blank scroll. "Use this as the vehicle. Just remember,
don't fully set the seal. Just start it enough that we have something to work
with."
Sasuke activated his Sharingan and Sai flipped open his sketch pad.
Naruto drew a breath, feeling more than a little bit of pressure under all the
scrutiny. He'd talked big, but suddenly he wasn't so sure he could really do
it. There had been a lot going on at the time, and -
"Performance anxiety, Dobe?" Sasuke's voice was low and smooth, but the
taunting edge was unmistakable.
Naruto's head snapped up at the surely unintended double-entendre, but the
amusement in Sasuke's eyes made him wonder. Sasuke… couldn't possibly be
telling a dirty joke. Naruto blinked, but not before a slight flush stole along
his cheekbones.
"You wish, asshole," Naruto almost said that Sasuke should be the one to know,
but he caught himself before the words actually escaped. He was pretty sure
that the Uchiha wouldn't appreciate their sex life being broadcast like that.
But the small diversion had helped him forget about his nerves slightly, and he
closed his eyes, focusing the chakra in his palm, visualizing more the feel of
the seal rather than any particular image about its shape.
Intricate black lines appeared on the palm of Naruto's hand, coiling slowly up
his arm as well as spreading across the paper.
Sai's hand flew over the page, sketching the characters and swirls as they
formed.
Naruto drew down more chakra, feeling it coil and sink into the paper.
"What the fuck?" Sasuke said, his eyes widening slightly. "The chakra looks
like it's… folding in on itself. There are three different coils, but they're…"
he paused, watching for a moment, trying to figure out what the pattern would
produce if Naruto were to set the seal to completion. Part of it reminded him
of the seal Danzo had tried to use on him in their final battle, but not quite
the same. Naruto's level of chakra was significantly higher than that of
Danzo's. The effect was much more powerful, and Sasuke had the fleeting thought
that if Naruto had been the one to spring that trap seal on him, Sasuke might
not have been able to avoid it. He began to understand why the other villages
had viewed the Hidden Eddy as such a threat.
Naruto stopped, pulling his hand back away from the paper abruptly. "That's as
far as I can go without risking activating at least part of it. Is it enough?"
"Yes. I think we have enough to go on now," Sai said as the elaborate
characters on the scroll as they began to fade, indicating the seal had failed
and was not viable.
"The chakra you put into the scroll is dissipating," Sasuke glanced over to
Naruto before returning his focus to the scroll. "The scroll should be safe to
handle."
"His pathways are still damaged, but starting the formation of the seal didn't
increase any of the damage," Shizune sounded relieved as she released his hand
and stepped back.
Tsunade was looking at the sketches Sai had captured, then picked up one of the
books and flipped through it.
"It's three different seals," she said, handing the book to Sai, tapping one of
the sketches with her red fingernail. "They are woven together so tightly they
trigger as one. The first is simply a standard chakra spike, designed to kill
on the spot. This was the piece that Naruto was able to fully deactivate, which
is why he suffered minimal damage. The second was a chakra-binding seal,
similar to the one used to bind the tailed beasts into the statue. It must have
transferred a significant portion of Naruto's chakra to the book, and sealed it
there. For any shinobi with normal chakra levels, if the initial spike didn't
kill them then the instant chakra drain would have. Only a jinchuuriki would
have enough chakra that they would survive the second seal. The third was a
slower acting one, likely specifically designed for Naruto. Danzo must have
known that there was a chance Naruto pursue the issue of Itachi and the
Council, given his… fixation with the Sasuke in the past. But he hadn't
expected Naruto to fully be able to merge with Kurama and control all the
bijuu's chakra. If it had only been a small percent of the bijuu chakra, Naruto
would have been dead. The pathways would never have been able to heal fast
enough to counteract the seal's damage."
The muscles in Sasuke's hand tightened, and he had to consciously force his
fingers to remain unclenched. His face revealed nothing as he turned to look at
Naruto, ignoring the way his stomach twisted at the Hokage's words. So close.
Danzo had been so close to killing Naruto. Sasuke wondered how long it would
have been before he would have been told, if Naruto had in fact died. Living on
the outskirts of town, he wouldn't have heard the news unless someone actually
came to tell him. Would anyone have come? Sakura? Kakashi?
And what would he have done, if he had received the news?
He felt slightly lightheaded before a rush of anger surged through him. He
noticed a slight trembling in his hand, and wondered if the withdrawal symptoms
were coming back sooner this time. He felt an almost irresistible need for the
drug, knowing it would erase this sickening anger that was pounding through his
body. Fury at Danzo. At Tsunade for allowing Naruto to take such a risk. And at
Naruto for taking it without thinking about what would happen if…
Sasuke turned abruptly and walked over to flip through one of the books,
needing to do something before he blew the tower apart.
Naruto watched Sasuke walk stiffly over to the books, noting the tension in the
lines of his friend's body, but unsure of the cause. He looked back down at his
hand, slightly stunned at how thorough Danzo had been, and how lucky he was to
have escaped with minimal damage. Anyone else who had found the book would have
been killed on the spot. He shrugged it off after a moment. It was far from the
first time he had been close to death. And he knew it would be far from the
last.
"There is a final piece which looks as though the seal uses the chakra it
absorbed to re-set itself," Sai said, looking at some of the sketches he had
made when Naruto was beginning the seal. "If Naruto hadn't automatically
deactivated it when it found it rather than just triggering it the way most
would, it would have automatically re-set."
Tsunade looked grim. They'd have to use extreme caution when going through the
rest of the materials from Danzo's lair. They didn't have many seals experts in
the village. There weren't many seals experts left anywhere, after the Village
of the Hidden Eddy was wiped out.
As if reading her thoughts, Naruto spoke. "No one but me should touch the rest
of the books and scrolls we brought back. I have the best chance of detecting
another seal and countering it."
"No." Sasuke's voice was ice cold. "You are already injured. I could see the
chakra coils in the scroll as you were laying the seal. I can scan the other
items first. Or Kakashi can."
Tsunade saw Naruto bristle at Sasuke's words, likely taking them as in insult
to his abilities, but she didn't have time for their schoolboy rivalry right
then. She raised her hand, cutting Naruto off as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Your first priority is to counter the effect of the third part of the seal
that Naruto was not able to deactivate in time. It's only been Kurama's healing
that has kept it from spreading, but it appears it will not actually stop until
the seal is released or reversed. Now that we know what we're dealing with, we
can research the safest way to release it," Tsunade said.
"So the damage will be fixable?" Naruto asked, flexing his fingers slightly as
they tingled.
"Yes. You are actually continually healing the damage as it is. Once we stop
the action of the final portion of the seal, you should be healed in less than
a day. Unless you run out of chakra, in which case the seal will take over and
you'll be in serious trouble," Tsunade said, everyone in the room understanding
that 'serious trouble' for a ninja basically meant 'dead'. "So you still are
barred from missions until we get this done. But at least we know what we're
dealing with. We know the type of the seal, and - thanks to your demonstration
- we know the specific elements involved."
Naruto nodded, slightly frustrated at the delay in fixing his hand, but
slightly glad that it would allow him more time to keep an eye on Sasuke.
"Sai, Shizune, and I will take it from here for now," Tsunade said. "I want you
and the Uchiha to go rest. You both look like shit. Sai is the most familiar
with Danzo's work on seals, and - now that he knows exactly what he's looking
for. It might take a few days to go through them all and come up with a way to
stop its effect, but it will be faster than starting from scratch. I will have
him keep you up to date on what we find. He might have some questions as we get
further into this. "
"I have some scrolls at my house as well," Sasuke's voice was flat, his eyes
narrowing slightly at Sai. Some of the anger had ebbed away once Tsunade had
told Naruto he was not allowed to work on Danzo's other scrolls until his hand
was healed, but the idea that the blond would be partnered with Sai in the
final stages of this annoyed him for some reason. "Some of them touch on seal
releases. I'll look through them tonight and see if there is anything useful."
Tsunade nodded. "Let me know if you find anything. Naruto - I want you to come
by my office for daily check-ups. We need to make sure the progression remains
in check."
"Dailycheck-ups? Can't I just have Sasuke look at my hand once in a while and
–"
"He will come,' Sasuke cut him off with a glare.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Fine. Let's go, bastard. I'm starving." He reached
over and grabbed Sasuke's hand, flashing Tsunade an impish grin before he
teleported them out of her office. Sasuke and Sai's eyes locked just before
Naruto and Sasuke vanished, Sasuke sending the other boy a slightly smug look.
"Baka," she mumbled, but her own lips had twitched into an answering grin to
Naruto's. "Boys with toys," she sighed, memories of Naruto learning the
rasengan blending with memories of Nawaki learning his first S-rank jutsu. A
gentle hand on her shoulder brought her back to the present. She didn't need to
look over to know it was Shizune. As usual, the younger woman always knew what
she was thinking.
===============================================================================
Sasuke was not surprised to find himself abruptly standing in Naruto's
apartment. He wondered if Sai had ever been inside, and he felt a flash of
annoyance. He didn't know what it was about the former Root nin that rubbed him
the wrong way. Just the association with Danzo would have been enough, but
there was also something about the way the other boy looked at him. Sasuke
thought about the way the boy had walked up to Naruto and examined his hand, as
though used to having permission to touch the blond. He felt his jaw clench.
"Man, I'm starving. I think I have some leftover ramen here. Or at least some
rice. Damn, I really need to put a teleportation seal on Ichiraku's. Then I can
instantly go there after a mission!" Naruto casually walked into his small
kitchen, feeling the dark eyes following him and unsure about the source of the
tension he could feel radiating from the owner of said eyes.
"That took longer than I thought it would. Shit, this thing with my hand is a
pain in the ass. Leave it to Danzo to still be a dick even after he's dead,"
Naruto chuckled as he rummaged through his fridge, trying to lighten the mood.
The unsettled feeling that had been bubbling around in Sasuke's stomach ever
since Tsunade had described how close Naruto had come to being killed flared up
as the blond ninja joked, seeming not to care that he had almost died trying to
clear Itachi's name. A task that should not have been his to begin with. The
thought snaked through Sasuke's mind, coiling around the sickly anger that was
already filling him. The mention of future missions only amplified the dark mix
of emotions, especially at the thought that Sai was likely to be accompanying
Naruto on many of them.
Naruto heard Sasuke approach, but assumed the boy was merely joining him in
foraging for food in the cupboard. He was surprised to find himself pinned
against the counter, dark, turbulent eyes flashing at him.
"What the fuck, bastard?" Naruto was more surprised than angry. He allowed
Sasuke to keep him there, not feeling threatened so much as puzzled. He knew
that if Sasuke had come at him with intent to do serious harm, there would have
been blood on the walls already. Sasuke never fucked around with wasted moves
in a real fight. He went straight for the kill.
But Naruto was surprised that the windows didn't crack at the intensity of the
dark emotions pumping off Sasuke in waves, though Naruto wasn't able to pin
down exactly what the emotions were. He tried to ignore the feel of Sasuke's
ruthlessly honed body against his… tried to ignore the subtle scent of the soap
from Sasuke's shower he could smell… and the even more compelling scent of the
man beneath it.
"What's your problem?" Naruto bit out, trying to put a note of warning into his
voice to get Sasuke to back off a bit so Naruto's brain could function properly
again.
"Shut up," Sasuke growled. He was furious at Naruto, and he didn't understand
why. It would be irrational to be angry at Naruto for having put himself at
risk. They were ninjas. There was no avoiding risk. But Sasuke couldn't control
the bubbling anger and something that felt almost like panic at the thought of
how close Naruto had been to death. And how calm the blond seemed about it all.
As if it happened all the time. Because it did happen all the time. Why did
that now feel completely unacceptable? Why was he so furious about it?
Sasuke's thoughts were jumbled, but his body seemed to know what it wanted as
it sought the reassurance of Naruto's body. He pressed harder against the
blond, his fingers biting into the slim hips. He felt Naruto tense beneath his
own, the heat and hard contours of the toned body against his. He lowered his
lips, slanting them across Naruto's, not knowing why he felt compelled to do so
even as he shifted a hand to fist into the blond locks and force the kiss
deeper. The familiar flare of heat seemed to somehow steady his tilting
emotions, reassuring him of something he couldn't even articulate. Everything
else in his mind seemed to shut down as he pressed even closer, instinct
driving him on.
He felt Naruto shudder briefly against him, a small sound escaping the blond's
mouth that had heat pooling almost painfully between Sasuke's legs, craving
more. He slid a leg between Naruto's thighs, pressing his own increasingly
sensitized groin against Naruto's hip, feeling the pulse leap in the tan body
beneath him.
"Sasuke, this isn't," Naruto began, but Sasuke's lips pressed more harshly
against his, not interested in what this "wasn't".
"I said shut up," Sasuke said, bearing down with more force, pressing their
mouths wider, their teeth clicking as he felt his fingers biting into Naruto's
flesh, uncaring that he was leaving bruises. He needed this, and the intensity
of that need was something he was unfamiliar with but had no resistance
against. He didn't understand the relief he felt as he sensed the desire that
surged in Naruto, matching his own as their body temperatures spiked, the hard
planes of their bodies pressing roughly and urgently against each other. The
answering desperation he sensed in Naruto somehow soothed him. It made him feel
powerful and alive, leaving no room for the emptiness and blackness that he
constantly felt like he was drowning in. The familiar taste and scent of Naruto
blissfully pushed out all other thought.
Sasuke felt himself slipping into the same haze that he had the last time he'd
been with Naruto, his cock pressing tightly against the confines of his pants.
Focused on trying to figure out how to remove their clothing without loosening
his death grip on Naruto, he was too distracted to notice the tan palm before
it connected with his chest and sent him flying backwards, stumbling back
against the stove before rapidly regaining his footing.
"No," Naruto stood panting, still pressed against the counter, staring at him
with slightly swollen lips. The blue eyes looked slightly desperate, though
Sasuke had no idea why. It took Sasuke a moment to gather his scattered
thoughts enough to realize that Naruto was rejecting him.
"You didn't have a problem with it the last time we were in your kitchen,"
Sasuke said, stalking forward predatorily, watching as Naruto eyed him warily.
He had been pressed tightly enough against Naruto a few seconds ago to know
that the man had been responding to him. If they were both hard and wanting it,
why was Naruto stopping?
"That's before I knew you were just high and out of your mind," Naruto's voice
was forced and harsh, his body language showing no signs of hesitation as
Sasuke approached. Only the wariness of the blue eyes gave away the blond's
nerves.
Sasuke stopped when his body was a hair's breadth from Naruto's, both nins
standing completely still as the air between them heated until Sasuke was sure
he could hear it crackle. Naruto kept his eyes locked on Sasuke, not backing
down, though the desperation in his eyes had grown to border almost on panic.
"I'm not high now, moron," Sasuke stated fighting to keep his voice calm and
steady, reading such a swirl of emotions in the blue depths - anger,
uncertainty, guilt…. lust. He could understand and even respect, on a certain
level, the fact that Naruto didn't want to have sex with him when Sasuke was
drunk or high. But he was neither of those things right now. They'd already
consummated a physical relationship with each other. Sasuke saw no reason to
discontinue it when they obviously both enjoyed it. But Naruto showed no signs
of wavering, and Sasuke wasn't going to beg.
Naruto inhaled deeply, his eyes drifting closed for an extended blink before
re-opening, the pupils dilated with lust. Sasuke could see Naruto's grip on the
counter tighten until his knuckles turned white, as though fighting the urge to
grab him.
"Like I can trust you to tell me when you're high. How the fuck am I supposed
to know? Obviously, I wasn't able to tell before. One minute you're looking
like you want to kick my ass, the next minute you're sticking your tongue down
my throat about to fuck me into the counter. I told you I'm not going to have
sex with you when you're on that shit." Naruto knew his hands would be shaking
if he weren't holding the counter in a death-grip. The subtle scent of Sasuke
was wrapping around him, clouding his mind. He could see the lust in his
friend's eyes, and if he let his gaze drop lower he knew he'd be able to see
the prominent evidence of it in the rogue nin's pants as well.
Naruto's control was resting on a razor's edge. He knew that if he showed any
weakness or hesitation, Sasuke would bend him to his will in three seconds
flat. Naruto had nearly lost it when Sasuke had kissed him, bringing all the
memories he had been trying to suppress of the morning they'd spent wrapped
around each other in Sasuke's bed. But he didn't know how being on or coming
off the drugs was affecting Sasuke's actions or desires… how much of the older
boy's actions were his own, vs influenced by the drugs. And Naruto had promised
himself that - no matter what - he would not knowingly take advantage of
Sasuke. It didn't matter how badly… how desperately Naruto wanted it. Too many
people had used Sasuke for their own purposes, and Naruto would be damned if he
added himself to that list.
Sasuke's gaze bore into his, and Naruto fought not to fidget or let his gaze
waver in the slightest.
"Fine," Sasuke said, walking over to the kitchen table and sprawling back in
one of the three chairs there.
Naruto let out a shaky breath, glad that Sasuke hadn't pushed it further. He
honestly didn't know what he would do if Sasuke set out to purposefully seduce
him… not wanting to think about how disgusted he'd be with himself if he wasn't
strong enough to resist when he wasn't sure if Sasuke was in control of himself
or not. Naruto turned back to the kitchen, no longer hungry, but knowing that
they needed to eat.
He missed the considering look the dark-haired man gave him. Sasuke was used to
reading every nuance in an opponent, and the sigh of relief and the
significance of it was not lost on him. The slight feeling of panic that he had
felt when Naruto had first pushed him away began to fade. He smirked at the
newly acquired piece of knowledge. It was a heady feeling to have the most
powerful ninja in Konoha so susceptible to him.
Naruto had always held strongly to his own sense of right and wrong in a world
where everyone else did what was convenient. But Sasuke knew without a doubt
that he could break Naruto on this if he wanted to.
He shifted his legs slightly farther apart as he watched Naruto pull out what
appeared to be a leftover carton of ramen from his fridge.
He would wait for today. But he would not wait indefinitely.
-xXx-
to be continued…
***** Withdrawal Part 1 *****
Warning: boy x boySasuke and Naruto trying to discuss the past and try to
process their emotions. Yeah, they don't do it well.
Author's note: Thank you so much for the comments on the prev chapter
encouraging me to push through this and keep going. This part of the story is
tough for me, because I want to deal with the anguish of their childhoods, but
not totally WALLOW in it, if you know what I mean. So I ended up rewriting this
chapter like 4 times since it got just too depressing, but here is where I came
out. Next chapter will be the low point for Sasuke (if you have never witnessed
or experience withdrawal then feel blessed). But THEN… hot ninja sex? I am
hoping. Hoping so much you can't even know.
Thank you to Mykko_chan for pre-reading this and keeping me on track and
generally encouraging me.
-xXx-
Sasuke watched silently while Naruto heated up the ramen before deciding to see
if there was anything else in Naruto's fridge that he might be able to eat
before resorting to something so unhealthy. Naruto slanted a wary look at him
as he walked into the kitchen, but Sasuke simply opened the fridge and pulled
out some vegetables he was pleasantly surprised to find there.
Naruto looked over at him again, this time with a small smile. He didn't know
what it was exactly about Sasuke wanting to eat something 'healthy' that made
him feel happy. He covered his reaction by needlessly stirring the soup in the
pot on the stove.
It's because he's doing something to take care of himself.
The thought came over him quickly, and he was glad he was turned away from the
Uchiha as his throat suddenly constricted with a desperate hope that Sasuke was
going to be ok at the end of this all. It was a fear that he hadn't even really
allowed himself to acknowledge, because in the end he knew he would be unable
to face it if it had born out. The self-destructive spiral that Sasuke had been
going down had terrified Naruto, because he knew that no one but Sasuke could
put an end to it… and it wasn't clear that the dark-haired nin had any reason
to do so.
Naruto drew in a breath to steady his careening emotions. Sasuke would not
appreciate him freaking out like this.
"Usually you wait until you've got the ramen in the bowl before trying to
inhale it, Dobe."
A small laugh bubbled up from Naruto's throat. It sounded slightly wild to
Naruto's ears. He sent a fake glare over his shoulder, not fooling either of
them. "Shut up and eat your prissy little salad."
Sasuke smirked, and they each took their bowls of respective food to Naruto's
small kitchen table.
It was still a bit of a novelty to eat together, and both felt oddly content at
the company.
"So… that was really a crazy seal that Danzo set," Naruto said around a
mouthful of food. "I wonder who he learned it from? It's pretty sophisticated
for him to just make up like that. Was he really that good with seals?"
Sasuke paused in his chewing, then continued and swallowed. "He was working
with Orochimaru on some things. It wouldn't surprise me if this was one of
them."
Naruto choked on his noodles. "I thought Danzo wanted Orochimaru dead?"
Sasuke gave Naruto a condescending look. "You can't still be shocked that Danzo
didn't hold to his principles. Unless you really are an idiot."
Naruto shot Sasuke an annoyed glance, but couldn't really argue the point.
"It's just… I thought that he at least was trying to do things that in his
twisted mind were good for the village. But working with the guy who killed the
Third…"
"How is that any worse than ordering my entire clan murdered?" Sasuke said, his
voice hard with bitter anger.
Naruto looked down at his soup, his appetite gone. No matter how many times he
had tried to find some redeeming side to Danzo, in the end, he couldn't. Which
shook Naruto's view on the Third to their core, since surely the man must have
known. Though it almost made it worse if he hadn't. A Hokage shouldn't be that
blind. Naruto was silent for a moment. "When I am Hokage, it's not going to be
like that. I will never allow decisions like that to be made without me. I will
not allow the council to be rebuilt. If actions have to be taken, then I will
be held accountable. This… shadow structure that Danzo and the rest of the
council set up was too easily corrupted. Tsunade has agreed to not formally
accept any new council members until I am appointed Hokage, and since all of
the prior ones are dead…"
Sasuke eyed him for a minute. "You're really going to try to change the
system?"
Naruto looked up and met his gaze, humor glinting in his eyes, but it was laced
with a steely determination. "Yeah. You're not the only one who had a shitty
childhood, Sasuke. I am not going to let stuff like that keep happening. But
I'm not going to go bat-shit crazy and start shouting about 'revolution' and
attacking everyone in sight including people trying to help me."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I didn't attack everyone. Just you."
The laughter drained out of Naruto's expression and he looked back at his bowl,
picking up the spoon and poking at the noodles. "Yeah. I know."
Sasuke studied Naruto for a moment, easily able to read the hurt still visible
there. "I thought you'd be glad that I didn't blow you off like I did everyone
else. You always said you wanted me to acknowledge you."
Naruto looked down at his noodles, which were slowly turning to mush. It was
true that he had wanted Sasuke to acknowledge his strength. To acknowledge him
as an equal. And Sasuke singling him out in their final battle had been just
such an acknowledgement.
Of course, Naruto realized now that his 'quest for acknowledgement' from Sasuke
had simply been a child's way of seeking attention and friendship when he
hadn't known how to ask for it. And as he'd grown, what he wanted from Sasuke
had grown as well and now…
Naruto glanced up, seeing the black, intelligent eyes focused on him. The dark
thrill that shot through him at being the center of Sasuke's attention almost
distracted him from the man's statement. But that was a dangerous thought, and
he pushed it back down. "I wanted you to trust me and acknowledge me as a
friend. Not as an enemy. Why couldn't you tell me what you thought, and ask me
to change the system with you? Why did you think you had to do it on your own?"
Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment, then snorted slightly. "You're naïve. You
think everyone is good at heart. No matter what people do, you always look for
the good in them," Sasuke sneered.
Naruto bristled. "I just want to be able to find common ground with my enemy.
There can't be peace without understanding," he quoted. It was a lesson he had
learned from Jiraiya. One of many.
Sasuke's hand tensed on the table. "And sometimes that's just not enough.
You're lucky both Nagato and Obito died, Naruto. Because no one would have
accepted their 'sorry'. There comes a point where it doesn't matter why someone
did what they did. The act itself is unforgivable."
Naruto paused, not sure if Sasuke was talking about Nagato and Obito, or
Itachi.
Or himself.
Naruto thought back to the meeting he had with Nagato. Naruto's grief over what
he believed to be Kakashi's and Hinata's deaths had been so raw… he had been
nearly shaking with the urge to kill the man.
But he hadn't. And because of that, all the dead had been brought back to life.
Though Sasuke was right, in a way. There would not have been forgiveness for
Nagato from the village had he lived.
"I never said I forgave Nagato or Obito. But I understood why they did what
they did. Like I understand you."
Naruto held Sasuke's gaze, daring him to refute that statement. Like he always
did.
"But you don't forgive me either," Sasuke stated, though clearly it was also a
question.
Naruto's breathing halted. For once the nin wasn't denying that Naruto might
possibly understand him, at least partially. But he didn't know what to say to
that, or to Sasuke's statement. Neither of them was particularly good at
expressing what they felt. Or even knowing what they felt. It had certainly
taken Naruto long enough to recognize what he felt for Sasuke.
He wasn't sure what Sasuke was trying to say here. He wasn't exactly asking for
forgiveness… or saying sorry. Was Sasuke sorry? Looking at the man, Naruto
didn't think so. Sasuke had reasons for what he'd done, and - aside from
killing Itachi - Naruto was pretty sure Sasuke wouldn't have done things
differently if he had the chance.
"Forgive you for what? Leaving the village? Or trying to kill me?" Naruto
finally spoke, deciding it was better to at least understand what Sasuke was
talking about.
Sasuke looked at him for a moment, then broke their gaze, looking away. "Any of
it."
Naruto paused, honestly not sure what to say. Was he still angry at Sasuke?
Anger sounded like such a narrow, thin emotion. The agony he'd felt when Sasuke
had left, all the times that Sasuke had refused to come back… that wasn't
'anger'. The overwhelming need to be near Sasuke, to be able just to look at
him, feel his presence… was that forgiveness?
If he hadn't been 'angry', what did it even mean to 'forgive'? Naruto had no
idea.
"I don't know. It's not that simple," Naruto's voice was low, his own confusion
about how he felt surfacing in his voice. The feelings of loss and worry and
frustration and betrayal and admiration and longing and… love were too
interwoven for him to even understand them himself, much less push words out
that Sasuke could understand.
Sasuke nodded. He didn't appear upset. In fact, he barely seemed interested in
Naruto's response. But Sasuke was never one for making idle comments, so Naruto
wasn't fooled.
"I… I know you had to leave," Naruto acknowledged, when the silence had begun
to stretch. "I understand why you did what you did. All of it."
Sasuke's eyes snapped to his. "Do you?"
Naruto held his gaze, then slowly nodded. "After Itachi took down Kakashi, I
knew you'd leave. You needed a teacher who could help you get stronger than
Itachi. Kakashi… couldn't. No one in the village could. Including me, at the
time."
The admission was a hard one for Naruto to make, because he had wanted so
desperately to be strong enough to protect Sasuke back then, to be what the
dark-haired boy had needed. He had worked so hard, but… it hadn't been enough.
Not then. He had failed his friend.
Sasuke's piercing eyes watched the emotions flickering across Naruto's
expressive face. The same anguish he had seen on them at their first battle at
the Valley of the End, when Sasuke had been so close to giving in. But he
hadn't. He'd forced himself to go on and carry out his plan.
Did he have regrets? Could it have been done differently, with less pain?
Sasuke didn't know, but he doubted it. And in any case, there was no going
back.
Sasuke decided it was better to shift the conversation to something else he'd
been wondering about since Naruto's mission to clear Itachi's name and become
clear.
"How long have you been working on the mission to clear Itachi?"
Naruto blinked at the change in topic, but allowed it. He honestly didn't know
what else could be said anyway. "Since Tobi told me the truth about what
happened that night."
"When did he tell you?" Sasuke's voice was tense.
"Just before the Kage summit, after I…" Naruto trailed off, remembering his
interview with the Raikage, where he'd begged him to forgive Sasuke's actions,
only to find out that Sasuke had joined forces with the Akatsuki. Naruto's lips
clamped shut. That was not something he would discuss with Sasuke. He didn't
need the dark-haired nin to know the true depths his obsession with him had
reached over the years. It would probably send him fleeing back to Orochimaru
for safety.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, aware that Naruto was holding something back, but
knowing he was in no position to push. Yet.
"That is a long time" Sasuke said instead.
Naruto nodded. "We had to be very careful, and Danzo is paranoid. He didn't
leave things just laying around. But Kakashi said that we needed something
other than Tobi's word, given that he was, you know, CRAZY and a member of
Akatsuki and could easily just be fucking with me because cyou were a major
weakness for me." Sasuke's eyebrows rose at that, but Naruto was continuing.
"Even so… I could tell Kakashi believed him," Naruto said softly.
Sasuke forced himself to breathe slowly. It had been a long time since he'd
thought of the silver-haired man as his sensei. But he was surprised to realize
it mattered, somehow, that the man had believed in Itachi. It brought the
smallest flicker of respect back to a man he'd written off as yet another
person who'd blindly allowed everything to happen without questioning it.
"I wanted to tell everyone right away," Naruto said, the remembered anger and
disbelief that something so horrible could have been covered up surging back to
him. "But even Itachi... didn't want it to happen. He didn't want the Uchiha
name to be tainted."
Sasuke sneered, trying to push down the pain that the conversation was bringing
in his chest. "The Uchiha name has already been destroyed. We're a cursed clan,
and everyone knows it."
Naruto could only look at his friend, seeing the swirl of emotion in the dark
eyes. So much anger and pain and loneliness. He wanted to say something, to
tell Sasuke it wasn't true, but the truth was that most people would agree with
Sasuke on that.
"Why did you believe Tobi, without any evidence?" Sasuke asked finally.
"I…" Naruto thought back to that conversation. The sinking feeling he had, the
way it lined up with what Itachi had said before he'd died when he'd met Naruto
in the forest and given him Shisui's eye. "I remembered what Itachi had said to
me, when we met when I was on a mission. About impossible choices, and that I
couldn't I know how I'd react if I had to choose between saving you and saving
the village." Naruto's voice was soft with remembered pain and respect for the
dead Shinobi. "The way he said the words… it felt at the time like it was a
choice he had made, but I didn't understand then."
He looked up to see Sasuke's eyes filled with anguish.
Naruto drew a shaky breath. "When he talked to me… I… I felt like something was
not right. Itachi could have attacked me. I was alone, and looking right at
him."
"Tch. Moron," Sasuke said, though there was no venom in it.
Naruto grinned half-heartedly. "Yeah. He asked me why I wasn't running away, as
protocol would have recommended."
Sasuke looked at him. "Why didn't you?"
Naruto picked up his spoon, and began scraping the edge of the bowl with it, no
longer meeting Sasuke's gaze.
Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand to still the annoying motion. "Answer the
question. Itachi was an S-rank criminal. Not only did you violate the standard
rule for engaging a sharingan holder of always fighting at least two on one,
but you did it knowing you suck at genjutsu."
Naruto glanced up at Sasuke's intense gaze, but then looked away. "He said he
wanted to talk to me. I thought… I wanted him to leave you alone. So I…" Naruto
bit his lip, remembering how he'd told Itachi that he was a terrible brother to
Sasuke. The guilt of that conversation still ate at him. He hadn't known, at
the time.
"You fucking moron!" Sasuke breathed out fiercely as his grip tightened hard
enough to leave a bruise before he flung Naruto's hand away, sending the spoon
flying across the room. He stood, raking a hand through his hair before glaring
back at Naruto. "You didn't know at that point that he was still under the
council's orders! He could easily have trapped you in his mangekyo sharingan
and killed you. How could you take such a stupid risk? You had no right -"
"Don't tell me what I had the right to do or not, you asshole!" Naruto stood,
taking a step towards his former rival, his voice rising in anger. "You left.
You gave up all say in what I do. You were out of control and I couldn't find
you and bring you back and the last thing I wanted was to have to face my best
friend in battle. If there was any chance to have Itachi leave you alone, it
was worth it. And if I hadn't heard him out, we might have ended up losing the
war."
Sasuke blinked, realizing he was missing a piece in the story. "How did your
meeting with Itachi have anything to do with winning the war?"
Naruto stopped, belatedly realizing that Sasuke didn't know how Itachi had
broken the control of the edo tensei. How could he really say that Itachi had
given him Shisui's eye, in case the 'worst happened' and Sasuke actually went
so far as to kill his own brother and take his eyes? Naruto wasn't an idiot.
He'd seen the way Sasuke avoided looking at himself in the mirror, the haunted
expression on his face when he thought no one was looking. Sasuke was already
on the edge, and Naruto didn't want to break him. They couldn't have this
conversation now.
"Just that he trusted me after that," Naruto said, careful not to look away or
shift.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes and he surged forward, slamming Naruto up against the
wall. He could tell Naruto was holding something back. Again. "What, you and
Itachi were working together all the time after that? While I was stupidly
chasing after him, thinking he was the one who single-handedly decided to kill
our clan for no better reason than to test his fucking strength?"
Naruto's eyes widened, too shocked by Sasuke's words to even consider defending
himself. "No! Sasuke, I didn't know! I told you, I found out about Itachi after
you… after he was already dead! If I'd known before, don't you think I would
have found you and stopped you?"
Naruto looked into Sasuke's eyes and saw the terrible brokenness there. The
crushing guilt and loneliness... the total loss of everything that had mattered
to him.
Sasuke's breathing was ragged, all his emotions rushing to the surface. He
couldn't handle it. He needed relief. Abruptly, he stepped back, releasing
Naruto and turning toward the door. "It doesn't matter now. I'm tired. I'm
going home."
Naruto saw the way Sasuke's fingers were shaking. It made him nervous about the
real reason Sasuke was going to go home. He'd known the other well enough as a
child to know that Sasuke never slept on nights like this, where the memories
of his family's death were fresh and tangible.
"No," Naruto said flatly. He had no idea if Sasuke had more drugs in his house,
or if he was just going to drink himself unconscious, but he knew for a fact
that his friend wasn't going home to sleep. "Stay here. If you're tired, you
can have my bed."
Sasuke ignored him, pulling open the door.
Before he could even think about it, he was across the room, slamming the door
shut before Sasuke could exit through it.
"You're not leaving, Sasuke. I'm not letting you go again," the raw emotion in
Naruto's voice gave the words a weighted meaning that hung in the room between
them. They both knew Naruto was not just referring to Sasuke leaving the
apartment, but neither was going to address it. Naruto couldn't lose Sasuke to
the drugs. He wouldn't stand by passively and watch Sasuke destroy himself. He
didn't know if the bullshit that Tsunade had talked to him about earlier would
work, but he knew one thing that would.
Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulder roughly and spun him around to face him. As
expected, Sasuke's fist immediately lashed out.
"Naruto," Sasuke's voice was laced with warning.
Naruto ignored it, dodging the blow and countering. If Sasuke needed something
to blow off steam, Naruto knew for a fact that beating the shit out of someone
worked. Realization flickered in Sasuke's eyes, and he settled into the spar.
Sasuke leapt to the side, sweeping his leg out and nearly catching Naruto off
balance as Naruto quickly went through the hand seals to lay the sound proof
seal that he had used back at Sasuke's place. The last thing Naruto wanted was
Anbu coming in to break up their fight. As long as they both refrained from
using chakra in the battle, they would now be left undisturbed.
Sasuke waited until Naruto had finished laying the seal before attacking again.
Neither spoke. Naruto had refused Sasuke the release he sought, and was
offering an alternate. Sasuke decided to accept. He felt his mind settle into
the calm void of battle, all his conscious thought focused on reading his
opponents moves. There was no room for anything else with someone as skilled as
Naruto. A small smile ghosted across his lips at the internal admission. He
supposed one of these days he would actually say it out loud to the blond.
Naruto saw the slight curve of Sasuke's lips and grinned back. When they were
young, they had both taken out their anger and frustrations with the world on
the training fields, neither child able to express themselves in other ways. He
supposed neither had really grown much in that way since then. But it was ok,
he realized, as he watched Sasuke's dark eyes tracking his movements. Because
they understood each other.
Sasuke's fist grazed Naruto's jaw, sending his head snapping back. He moved in
to capitalize on the opening he'd created, but Naruto was already anticipating
it and swept his leg out, causing Sasuke to shift back to avoid being taken
down.
Neither man was going full out, but they weren't going easy either. Naruto
flipped forward, bringing his leg down in the move he'd copied from Sasuke in
the Chunin exams so long ago. Sasuke smirked, stepping out of the way just in
time for Naruto to smash one of the two kitchen chairs he had to kindling.
Sasuke saw the humor glinting in Naruto's eyes and knew it had been done on
purpose, reminding him of their rivalry so many years ago, when Naruto had been
watching every move Sasuke made, trying to find a way to catch up.
He was caught by surprise when Naruto landed the kick but immediately flipped
on his hand to clip Sasuke in the side with his other leg, forcing him to fall
back to avoid having his rib broken.
They continued on for over an hour before they both paused, surveying the
wreckage of Naruto's apartment. Every piece of furniture in eyesight was
smashed beyond recognition. There was a large hole in the wall that separated
the living space from Naruto's bedroom. Their eyes met as their chests heaved.
Naruto felt his lips twitch at the thought of the two most powerful shinobi in
the village, arguably in the world, standing in such a state. Sasuke's lips
also twitched, and it was all over for Naruto. His laughter bubbled up, and
before he could control it he was doubled over with laughter.
He looked up to see Sasuke standing next to him, watching him with an amused
light in his eyes and his lips curved into a tiny but unmistakable smile.
Naruto tugged on the (now tattered) sleeve of Sasuke's shirt and pulled him
down to sit on the floor with him until he'd finished laughing.
Sasuke had never had as much stamina as Naruto, and going several months
without training hadn't help close that gap at all, so he was more than happy
to be tugged down to the floor. "Usuratonkachi," he murmured, watching Naruto's
shoulders still shaking with mirth. "No wonder they don't let you have a larger
apartment."
"B-bastard!" Naruto gasped out, still laughing. "You broke a bunch of shit,
too!"
"Hn," Sasuke said, his lips still curved as his eyes started to drift closed.
God, he was so tired. He could hardly ever remember being this exhausted from
just sparring. But it was good. Instead of feeling the sick, hollow sort of
tired he'd been feeling for months, he felt… ok. Calm. He looked down at his
torn, sweaty shirt, unaware the blue eyes were focused on every subtle flicker
of emotion on his face.
"Hey," Naruto nudged Sasuke's leg with his knee, earning a tired looking glare.
"Go shower before you fall asleep, or you'll be annoyed at how gross you feel
in the morning."
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto, but didn't disagree. He'd been fastidious
about his hygiene for most of his life - something the blond ninja used to
taunt him about. The past few months had been an… aberration in that.
"I'll get some clean clothes for you, since those are trashed," Naruto said,
smirking at the disheveled state the dark-haired ninja was in.
"Hn," Sasuke said, slowly pulling himself to his feet and heading to Naruto's
bathroom. He didn't look back, but Naruto was sure he saw a smirk on the pale
face. "You look even worse. I landed two more hits than you."
Naruto grinned, glad he hadn't been the only one keeping count. It was almost
worth losing for. Almost. "One of those was when I was setting the seal. But
whatever. I'll beat your ass next time."
Sasuke arched a black brow, then went into the bathroom, closing the door.
Naruto didn't hear the lock click, and the thought of Sasuke stripping off his
sweaty clothes as he waited for the water to warm made Naruto feel slightly
lightheaded. Forcing his thoughts away from that, he quickly made a shadow
clone and sent it over to Sasuke's apartment to get some clothes.
Given that the clone could basically teleport from seal to seal, it should be
back before Sasuke was done in the shower. He was lucky that he had enough
chakra that the shadow clone would be able to use the teleportation seal as
well as he could. He wondered how many clones he could maintain that could use
the teleportation technique at the same time. It was definitely something he
wanted to test out.
Naruto released the seal before the Anbu went too crazy about the amount of
time they'd been blocked. He went to his room - the only room in the house not
completely destroyed - and put some fresh sheets on the bed since he couldn't
remember if he'd changed them recently.
He was just finishing when he heard the shower turn off. Luckily, his clone
reappeared at the same time, wearing a slightly grim expression. The clone
thrust the spare clothes into Naruto's hand and dispelled. Naruto blinked at
the acquired information and fought down his surge of temper, drawing in a
steadying breath. He knew they had to take it day by day.
Naruto knocked lightly on the door. "I've got some clean clothes for you."
Sasuke opened the door, with a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. Naruto's
eyes betrayed him as the followed a stray droplet of water that dripped from
Sasuke's hair onto his pale, well-formed chest. But the exhaustion in the dark
eyes snapped his focus back before his thoughts to get too far astray.
"I put on clean sheets. Go lay down. I'm going to wash up and be there in a
minute. We have to go see Tsunade in the morning," Naruto thrust the clean
clothes into Sasuke's hands as he walked into the still steamy bathroom.
"We?" Sasuke asked, eyeing the clothes suspiciously as he recognized they were
his.
"I sent a shadow-clone to get some of your own clothes, since I wasn't sure if
you'd stoop to wearing mine, and I didn't want the entire female population to
die of a nosebleed if you decided to walk to your place in just a towel. And
yes, 'we' will be seeing Tsunade tomorrow because you were the one to promise
her I'd go." Naruto shoved Sasuke out of the small bathroom and closed the door
behind him.
He hoped Sasuke bought his argument. He didn't want to leave Sasuke alone, even
for the short time it would take him to go to the Hokage's office for his
check-up.
Especially not after what his clone had found behind the headboard of Sasuke's
bed.
Naruto showered quickly, reminding himself that it this was not something to be
taken lightly. He wasn't experienced with drugs, but he also wasn't naive. The
worst was yet to come.
The only thing that kept him calm was that he knew that Sasuke was strong. He
could handle it. He would make it through this. Even if Naruto had to kick his
ass.
Finishing his shower in record time, Naruto dried off and pulled on a pair of
loose sweat pants and an old T-shirt. He usually didn't sleep with a shirt on,
but he decided it was safer this way. If Sasuke started something, he honestly
didn't know if he'd be able to stop him again, and he didn't want to deal with
the guilt he knew he'd feel later.
When he came out, Sasuke was already in bed, one arm behind his head as he
looked up at the ceiling. "Your bed is small," Sasuke said, his voice sounding
tired.
"Yeah," Naruto gave Sasuke a small grin as he turned off the light and slid
into bed next to him. "It's not meant for company."
Somehow the thought made Sasuke relax even more. He knew he had been Naruto's
first. This made it clear that it was because Naruto had not been interested in
anyone else. He didn't know why that thought seemed to calm him so much. He
closed his eyes.
Going on missions made both men familiar with sharing close sleeping quarters
with team mates. Modesty was a luxury not afforded to ninja in general. But
Sasuke would admit at least to himself that he had never felt as comfortable in
the company of others as he did with Naruto. Despite being enemies for so long,
there was no one he trusted more than the man laying beside him in the small
bed.
His lips twitched as he thought about the state of Naruto's apartment. They'd
have to deal with that in the morning. But it felt good, in a way, to sleep
with the wreckage still there. As though the evidence of the purging of his
emotions made it more permanent. He knew it wasn't permanent. He knew the
feelings would slowly creep back.
But for tonight, it was ok.
He turned his head to the side and closed his eyes. For right now, he was
alright.
"Thanks," Sasuke murmured, his voice barely enough to be heard through the
darkness.
Naruto had to fight the urge to wrap his arms around Sasuke and pull him close.
He knew that that kind of contact was not something Sasuke was likely to allow.
"Any time. But you're helping me clean it up in the morning."
"Hn."
Naruto could hear the smile, even if he couldn't see it.
Their arms were touching each other - the only point of contact between their
bodies. Naruto lay there, listening to Sasuke's breathing begin to slow,
feeling the pale man's body gradually relax into sleep. Naruto felt his throat
close at how right it felt to lay there together in the darkness on his narrow
bed. It had always been just the two of them. No matter how far apart they'd
been.
It's all there would ever be.
===============================================================================
Sasuke woke before the dawn, his legs having the familiar restless twitching
feeling that he recognized from when they were at Orochimaru's lair. A warm
weight lay across his stomach, and he didn't need to turn over to know it was
Naruto's arm. The tiny bed didn't leave much space for two bodies, but somehow
it didn't bother him.
He shifted, his body already feeling sore. It could have been from the
extensive sparring session they'd had last night, but Sasuke didn't think so.
The clamminess of his palms and the slight nausea building in his stomach were
all signals that today was going to be bad. He thought briefly of the small jar
he'd hidden in his bedroom. Naruto was too likely to find it in his kitchen,
now that the blond knew what to look for.
He wondered if he would be able to slip out of bed without waking the other
man. But even if he did, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. It was clear that
- as soon as Naruto's hand was healed - he was going to go back to trying to
clear Itachi's name and take down whoever had been involved. And it was clear
that there were other people besides the council who were involved.
If Sasuke wanted any chance of helping with that, then it would be better for
him to deal with the withdrawal now and get it out of the way. There was no way
Naruto would let him go with him if he knew Sasuke was still using.
He considered briefly whether he'd be able to fool the blond, but outright
lying to Naruto felt weak. Even when it came to his intention to destroy the
village and kill Naruto, he'd been direct about it. To lie about something as
trivial as drugs felt pathetic. Sasuke wouldn't sink that low.
Which meant he had to decide. Was the bliss of not having to deal with the
memories and emotions of the past worth being unable to do anything about the
present?
It was surprisingly not an easy call to make. But Sasuke was tired of being
controlled. First by Itachi, then Madara… he wasn't going to let some fucking
chemical control him now. He was stronger than that.
He felt Naruto's grip tighten slightly around him as Naruto drew in a deep
breath against the side of his neck. It sent a coil of heat low in his abdomen,
and if he weren't already feeling like shit, he would have rolled over and
woken the blond up properly. But given he wasn't sure how long his stomach was
going to remain compliant, he decided it would have to wait a day or two.
Hopefully not much longer than that.
So instead, he simply closed his eyes, letting the warmth of Naruto's body
relax him. He was strong enough to get through this. He'd go with Naruto to
Tsunade's in the morning, then he'd spend the next day or two breaking his
addiction. He hadn't been on the drugs that long.
How hard could it really be?
===============================================================================
Naruto frowned as he watched Sasuke poke at the rice porridge he'd made them
this morning.
"You're not eating," Naruto observed.
Sasuke shrugged. "Tired."
Naruto chewed his lip, not sure how hard to push. He had a feeling he knew what
was happening, and eating wasn't likely to help much. They had cleaned up the
apartment before breakfast with the help of a few shadow clones to help, most
of it winding up in garbage bags given it was destroyed beyond hope of repair.
He'd have to go furniture shopping soon.
But for now, they were seated on his bed, eating from the few unbroken dishes
he had left.
"Let's finish up and go to Tsunade's. Then you can sleep," Naruto felt only
slightly guilty about forcing Sasuke to come with him, given that the man was
obviously not feeling well, but there was no way he was going to leave him
alone when he was starting to go through withdrawal.
Sasuke managed to get down a few bites before covering his bowl and putting it
in the fridge.
Naruto's lips tightened, but he didn't say anything.
"Let's go."
The appeared in the Hokage's office at the appointed time, earning only a small
glare from Tsunade as she quickly examined Naruto's arm. In reality, she was
more concerned about the dark-haired man accompanying him.
She could see the extreme pallor of Sasuke's skin and the slight sheen of sweat
forming on his brow. The way the pale throat worked convulsively at times told
her he was trying to keep from getting sick.
Given the bits and pieces she'd learned from the Anbu that had been trailing
Sasuke for the past three months, it didn't take a genius for her to figure out
what was going on. She'd love to know who his dealer was, though. Any idiot who
sold something like that to a nin as dangerous and unstable as Sasuke deserved
to have a little visit from Ibiki.
But she would deal with that later. For now, she had to make sure that Sasuke
got through this. It was clear the Uchiha would not accept help or interference
from anyone other than Naruto, so she would keep quiet for now.
She passed no judgement on Sasuke. She was no stranger to addictions herself.
Though that was mostly all in her past. She now confined herself only to sake,
but there had been a time after Dan had died, the dreams of her own screams and
his blood staining her hands…
She drew herself back and focused on Naruto's hand. "No change with your arm.
Shizune and Sai might have found a possible way to stop the effect of the seal.
They have a few more things to look into, but if all goes well, we might be
able to try to stop the seal's progression in your next visit tomorrow."
Naruto's face brightened. "That's great! Just let me know when they're ready."
His gaze shot over to Sasuke, who was looking worse and worse by the second.
"Uh… I have to… go train. I'll see you later, baa-chan!"
Before Tsunade could even reprimand him for the annoying name, he had grabbed
the Uchiha by the wrist and they were gone.
Tsunade stood for a moment, looking at the spot where they had been standing an
instant before. "Good luck, Uchiha," she murmured. Whatever punishment she
might have come up with for the rogue ninja's lapse in judgement, it was
nothing compared to what he was about to go through. She shuddered slightly at
the memory.
===============================================================================
Sasuke stumbled as they appeared on the porch to his house. He was so focused
on not throwing up that it didn't even register that they had teleported
directly there from the Hokage's office, rather than to Naruto's apartment as
he had expected.
"Given that my place is basically trashed, I figured we'd come here instead.
Plus, your bed is more comfortable."
Sasuke glared at him as he opened the door to his house. But the glare was cut
short as he suddenly paled and ran to the bathroom, barely making it before all
his efforts at trying to eat breakfast were violently undone.
He heard Naruto enter softly behind him, lifting the lid to the toilet for
better access, rightly assuming they were going to be there for a while.
"I'll get a glass of water from the kitchen, so you can rinse your mouth,"
Naruto said, his voice calm.
"What, you're going to sit here and watch me puke all day?" Sasuke asked
bitterly. He hated weakness, especially in himself. Letting himself get
addicted was an embarrassment. But there was no point in hiding it from Naruto.
He already knew the truth.
Naruto grinned, though it didn't hide the worry in his eyes. "Maybe I'll
consider this karma's payback for you being such a stubborn asshole for the
past six years."
"Pfft," Sasuke said, closing his eyes against another wave of nausea, relieved
there had been no pity in Naruto's voice. He couldn't have handled that. He
tried to get his mind to focus on something else, knowing that he needed to not
think about how easy it would be to make this all go away with just one small
amount of…
He heard Naruto re-enter the bathroom, and a cool glass was pressed into his
hands. He looked at it briefly before rinsing his mouth and spitting the water
into the sink.
"You put a seal on my house without asking me."
Naruto grinned. "Just consider yourself lucky I didn't put it on your damn ass,
Uchiha. After all the chasing you made me do for the past four years, you'd
really fucking deserve it."
Sasuke shot him a glare that would have made lesser ninja tremble in fear.
Then he promptly turned and puked into the toilet again.
-xXx-
to be continued...
P.S. Many people have mentioned in PMs or reviews that they never know what to
say, and I know how that goes. I am not one of those writers who gets mad when
people leave a note saying 'update' or 'yes!' or whatever. Anything that let's
me know people are enjoying the story and wanting to read more of it makes me
feel good about writing. So... thank you! And don't stress about making some
super-amazing comment if you are like tired and reading this on your phone 5
min before falling asleep... just a smiley face is good. :-)
***** Withdrawal Part 2 *****
Warning: SCENES OF WITHDRAWAL... and fluff (ish) - Sasuke and Naruto trying to
discuss the past and try to process their emotions. Yeah, they don't do it
well. BUT THEY ARE TRYING!
Author's note: Thank you for all the awesome reviews! I am so glad that a lot
of you are looking forward to the actual conversations between Naruto and
Sasuke. I think I craved them actually TALKING about shit at least as much as I
craved them jumping each other. So... YAY! (though, of course, I will also need
to have them jumping each other again quite soon)
-xXx-
Naruto leaned against the sink as he tried to keep every trace of worry from
his face as he watched Sasuke's body tense convulsively on his knees in front
of the toilet. The pale man's stomach had long since been emptied, but his body
was evidently convinced that there was still something to get out.
When he had finished, Sasuke gave a shuddering sigh and leaned back against the
edge of the tub, closing his eyes. Naruto honestly didn't know what to do or
how to help. His only experience with illness had been back when he was a child
and hadn't known about things like expiration dates or that food couldn't be
left out for over a certain amount of time before going bad. But those
incidents had always passed quickly, usually in under an hour. No one had
helped him or cooked for him or comforted him. Having lived alone his entire
life, he'd had to manage on his own. He had no role model now for how to care
for someone else who was sick, or how to give comfort.
He looked at Sasuke, noticing how his pale face was damp with sweat, making the
dark bangs stick to his forehead. Naruto reached forward and tentatively
brushed them out of the way, drawing his hand back quickly as Sasuke's eyes
snapped opened, looking at him intently. The silence stretched awkwardly.
Finally, Naruto spoke.
"Do you… want more water?" Naruto asked, not really sure what else he could
do... what else Sasuke would allow him to do.
Sasuke let his eyes drift closed again, shaking his head slightly. He wrenched
the sweat-soaked shirt he'd been wearing over his head, throwing it near the
door. His breathing was coming in shallow pants, and Naruto could see the sheen
of sweat that covered his pale body.
The blond shifted his feet, feeling useless, earning a glare from the man
sitting on the floor.
"You don't need to babysit me, Dobe. I'm not going to die. My body just needs
to get used to being without the opium. The worst of it should be over in a
couple of days," Sasuke's voice was inflectionless and cold, as though annoyed
at the other's presence.
Naruto rolled his eyes, unimpressed by the glare. "You can be as much of an ass
as you want. I'm not leaving you alone."
Sasuke's glare faded, but Naruto wasn't able to read his expression. "Is it fun
for you? To watch this?" The bitterness in Sasuke's tone made Naruto ache. He
understood pride, and fear of weakness. Sasuke had more reason to be both than
most people.
But that didn't mean he was going to let Sasuke push him away. "Yeah, because
watching someone puke is just so much fun."
Sasuke's eyes didn't waver, but Naruto could see the shivers starting to wrack
the man's frame. "You were always looking for ways to beat me. This is just the
easiest one you could find."
Despite knowing that Sasuke was baiting him, Naruto couldn't help the splinter
of anger that the words evoked. He managed to keep his voice calm, but he
didn't temper his words. "Fuck you, Sasuke. You're the one who always had to
show he was so much better than everyone else. That you never need anyone.
You're just pissed as hell that you fucked up and got addicted. Don't try to
turn it back on me."
Naruto could see the muscles in Sasuke's arms and stomach clenching, though he
couldn't tell if it was due to physical pain from withdrawal or in anger at
Naruto's words. Whatever the cause, the cold glare from Sasuke's eyes never
wavered.
"I don't need you," Sasuke's voice was completely flat, without the slightest
hesitation.
Naruto ignored the flash of pain that the words left in him. It was far from
the cruelest thing Sasuke had said to him. He wouldn't let it distract him.
Intuitively, he knew that this was a critical moment in determining whether
Sasuke got through this or not. He didn't know what to do, but he knew what not
to do. He would not give up. He would not abandon his friend. No matter how big
of an asshole he was at the moment. Because there were other moments...
"You can push all you want, Sasuke, but I'm not leaving. For a genius, I'd
think you would have figured out by now that you wouldn't be able to drive me
away that easily. God knows you've tried just about everything."
Sasuke held his gaze for a moment before turning his head to the side, allowing
his eyes to close. The muscles in his body seemed to unclench slightly, and
Naruto wondered if it was his imagination or if a flicker of relief had flashed
through Sasuke's eyes before he closed them.
"It's your time. You can waste it if you want to."
Naruto chuckled. "God. You are an unbelievable bastard." He looked at the man
lying on the bathroom floor, propped up against the tub. At least Sasuke wasn't
throwing up again. "Do you think you could eat anything?"
The look Sasuke shot him was a definitive 'no'.
Naruto picked up the soiled shirt from the floor, frowning as he noticed that
Sasuke was still shivering. "Let me at least get you something clean to put
on."
"It will just get dirty again."
"Then I will fucking wash it, asshole." Naruto stalked out of the bathroom,
tossing the crumpled shirt into the washer, knowing he would be adding more
into the machine before the day was out. He went to Sasuke's room to find
another shirt. The sight of the bed made reminded him of what his clone had
found when he'd searched the house. He hoped he'd found it all and that Sasuke
didn't have another stash. It would be harder to search when Sasuke was here.
===============================================================================
Naruto was just heading back to the bathroom with a clean shirt when he felt a
slight flicker of a chakra presence coming from the front of the house. It was
very slight, as though it were being suppressed and only the smallest amount
trickling out. But it was familiar, and trusted, and Naruto immediately went to
the door to see what the Hokage wanted, hoping that she hadn't come to see
Sasuke.
Sasuke appeared to not have noticed the presence. The sounds of retching from
the bathroom explained why. Further proof, if any were needed, that ninjas
should not do drugs. If it had been an enemy, Sasuke would have been dead
before he'd even noticed their approach.
Naruto opened the door, and was surprised to find a bag of what appeared to be
groceries and a letter. Tsunade's chakra signature had vanished, and Naruto
realized that she had released the suppression of her chakra just enough for
him to sense her and come before concealing herself again, and likely was on
her way back to the tower, unnoticed.
Curious, he opened the bag, finding a variety of vegetables, some fresh ginger,
oranges, and two vials of what looked like some sort of medicine. He opened the
letter, slowly realizing that she must have somehow become aware of what was
happening with Sasuke, and slipped out to help without letting anyone else
discover it. He wondered if she would ream the Anbu squad out that was supposed
to be protecting her. He felt uneasy at the thought that possibly the Anbu had
seen Sasuke doing the drugs. The last thing the rogue nin needed was another
reason for people to think of him as untrustworthy.
Relief washed over him as he read the note:
Gaki
You can't think I wouldn't notice. While I respect your loyalty to your former
teammate, I expect you to tell me about things like this. I have not informed
even Kakashi, but I expect a daily report on his condition from you when you
come in to have your arm checked.
Besides the fact that Sasuke would be extremely dangerous if he were to lose
control, you know nothing about how to help him get through this. There are two
parts to withdrawal that he will need to address. The first is the physical
withdrawal, where his body is adjusting to the lack of the drug in his system.
The first two days will be the worst, with aches, vomiting, chills, and
insomnia. The biggest risk is dehydration. He will probably not be able to eat
much solid foods, but clear broth and diluted juices will be your best bet. The
bag contains recipes and ingredients for this. If he is unable to hold even
water down, I have included a medicine that can reduce the nausea.
The second part of the withdrawal is the mental part of the addiction… the
craving for whatever it was he was looking for when he took the drug in the
first place. Depending on how long and how much he was taking, this can last
years. If he hasn't been on it for very long, then he might get past this
quickly. He will likely at some point try to get more, if he hasn't already.
The best thing for him is to keep distracted. Give him something else to focus
on. Talk to him. Have him read. Anything to keep his mind off the drug. If he
absolutely needs to, I have enclosed a small amount of a medicine that will
help him to relax, but this can also become addictive, so only use it if
absolutely necessary.
Once he is no longer physically ill, you can take him to the training fields
and spar. He will need to find a way to release the stress of breaking the
mental addiction, and in my experience, sparring works the best.
If he relapses, or if you are unable to get him to give up the drugs, he will
become too great a risk. He likely already knows this. Do what you can, but in
the end it will be up to him to get himself out of the hole he has dug.
Naruto stared at the paper for a minute. He was surprised that she was allowing
Sasuke to stay under his care… and that her tone seemed so… understanding.
She was going to let them handle this with minimal intervention. She was going
to give Sasuke a chance. Relief flooded through him at the knowledge. More than
anything, he wanted Sasuke to have a chance to actually live again.
He put the letter down on the counter. Sasuke could read it if he wanted to...
Naruto wasn't going to keep it from him. Remembering the clean shirt he was
carrying in his hand, he walked over to the bathroom, leaving a clone to sort
through the recipes and groceries and hopefully make something Sasuke could
hold down.
He paused in the doorway to the bathroom. Sasuke was in roughly the same
position he had left him before, though he was looking slightly paler, and the
shaking appeared worse. "Here. Put this on," Naruto said, tossing the clean
shirt over.
Sasuke caught it easily, looking at it for a moment before sighing and sliding
it on, then zipping it up halfway, the muscles in his arms and chest glistening
slightly with his sweat.
"Do you want to lie down in the bed?"
"Not yet," Sasuke's face was drawn with fatigue.
Naruto walked over and sat down next to him on the floor the sides of their
hips just barely brushing against each other.
"I'm dirty," Sasuke said, a slight look of embarrassment crossing his face as
he turned his face slightly away.
"Then I'll try not to lick you," Naruto joked, trying to keep his face serious.
The way Sasuke's eyes widened slightly had the blond snickering. After a
moment, a tiny smile appeared on Sasuke's lips.
"Hn. Idiot." Sasuke's body seemed to relax slightly. He wasn't quite leaning
against Naruto, but somehow it seemed like his body wasn't pulling away from
the contact like it had been before.
Naruto shifted down to get into a more comfortable position on the hard tile
floor. "I'm making some broth for you. You've lost a lot of fluids, and you
can't get dehydrated."
Sasuke looked at him, not saying anything.
"You said it would be about two or three days, right? Before this is over? So
you'll need to be able to hold things down. Or at least try," Naruto continued,
not sure if Sasuke was going to resist his help or not.
Sasuke looked away again. "I know," he said, quietly. "You don't need to stay
and be my cook."
There was no venom in his voice... it was more as if he were trying to state a
simple fact. It struck Naruto that Sasuke was just as unused to anyone taking
care of him as he was. It was an emotional vulnerability that neither boy knew
how to handle with any manner of grace. Their thick, self-protective shells had
had years to toughen and harden over them.
"Like you said… it's my time. I can waste it how I want."
"Tch," Sasuke closed his eyes, resting his head back against the wall of the
tub, but there was a slight softening around his mouth that might almost be a
small smile.
"How do you feel?"
"Like shit."
"That's specific," Naruto said drily.
Sasuke sighed, looking over at Naruto in resignation. "I have muscle cramps,
chills, nausea, and a massive fucking headache."
Naruto let his leg lean against Sasuke's as he turned towards him, sliding his
fingers into the soft, black hair at the base of Sasuke's neck. The tan fingers
slowly pressed upwards, sliding along and massaging the scalp. It was something
he did to himself when he was tense, and it always seemed to make him feel
better.
Sasuke's body went rigid for an instant and Naruto thought he would push him
away. But then the black eyes closed and the pale man seemed to relax into the
touch. They sat there together in silence, Naruto's fingers continuing their
strong, soothing motions.
After several minutes, Naruto's clone appeared to let them know that the broth
and rice was ready.
"No rice," Sasuke whispered, his face paling further at the thought of solid
food.
"Then at least the broth," Naruto insisted, wondering if he would need to carry
Sasuke. His intention must have shown, because Sasuke leveled a glare at him
that threatened bodily dismemberment if Naruto tried to actually pick him up.
Instead, Naruto stood and reached a hand down. Sasuke looked at the extended
hand, hesitating for a moment.
"Oh, for fuck's sake just take my hand. It doesn't make you any less of a
ninja. And I promise Danzo's seal isn't contagious. It can't spread by
contact," Naruto rolled his eyes, adding on the final taunt to make it clear
he'd view Sasuke as a coward if he didn't take the hand.
Sasuke rolled his eyes at the obvious ploy, but still gripped Naruto's wrist
and pulled himself up. "It better not, considering what else of mine you've
touched with it."
Naruto choked, shocked again that Sasuke might possibly be making a dirty
joke... then chuckled. "Yeah, somehow I don't think you'd want Tsunade and Sai
examining your dick and doing tests."
Sasuke snorted as they headed to the kitchen, where a steaming bowl of broth
and some rice was waiting.
===============================================================================
Sasuke eyed the food skeptically as they sat down at the table, but took a
spoonful and swallowed. He seemed surprised when it stayed down, and Naruto
wondered if it was surprise at his stomach or at Naruto's cooking. "It's… good.
Ginger?" Sasuke asked.
"And tomatoes and a bunch of vegetables that I strained out," the clone
responded, looking absurdly pleased at the compliment. Naruto shot it a glare,
which the clone responded by giving him the finger before dispelling, his work
complete.
Sasuke's gaze caught on the unfamiliar shopping bag sitting on the counter.
"When did you go shopping?"
"I didn't," Naruto said, standing and taking the note Tsunade had left him and
handing it to Sasuke. He decided there was no point in hiding it from Sasuke.
The older boy took it and skimmed it, his face expressionless.
"She knows," Sasuke stated. "Why didn't she have the Anbu arrest me?"
The words were said with no emotion at all, as though Sasuke didn't really care
either way but was merely puzzled by what he perceived as a logical
inconsistency.
"First of all, I seriously doubt you would be the only Anbu member on the
stuff. But honestly I think... she wants to give you a chance."
Sasuke sneered, not ready to accept something so... human from the leader of
the village he'd been bent on destroying. "And why would she do that? She
barely let me back into the village. If it weren't for you, I would be dead or
in jail."
Naruto decided he wouldn't answer for Tsunade. He wasn't sure he understood her
motivations either, but one thing he was pretty sure about. "I think she made
it pretty clear she still wants you to join Anbu."
The statement hung in the air between them. Sasuke knew exactly what Naruto was
talking about... what he was implying with that comment. If Sasuke joined Anbu,
he would get to know what Danzo had done. He would get to know who else had
been involved.
He would get to work with Naruto.
But he had to get clean to do it.
"If she wanted to have you arrested, you've given her grounds. The only reason
for keeping this a secret would be if she wants you to be able to re-join
active duty as soon as possible."
Sasuke toyed with his broth, his stomach churning. Could he do it? Did he want
it? He'd hated this village so long, he wasn't sure he really wanted to serve
it again.
He looked up to find Naruto's eyes locked on him.
"What else was there?" Sasuke asked.
"From Tsunade? She sent some groceries and –"
"No. At Danzo's hideout. You told me about the letters from Itachi, and order
signed by the council. What else did you find?"
Naruto felt trapped by Sasuke's intense gaze. "Sasuke, I already told you more
than I was supposed to."
Sasuke noticed in annoyance that his hand was shaking as he held the spoon, so
he set it down, laying his hands flat on the table. "What else, Naruto? Tsunade
basically told me if I clean up and request to join Anbu she'll put me on this.
I need to know if it's worth it."
Sasuke was surprised to see anger flash in Naruto's eyes.
"You should clean yourself up because you're going to end up dead or in prison
if you don't. Who the fuck cares about anything else right now? If you get
clean just to help with this one mission, then what happens when that one
mission is done? When will it be enough, Sasuke?"
Naruto pushed back from the table and was about to stand when Sasuke's hand
shot out and grabbed his wrist. "I'm getting off the drugs because I don't want
them to control me. What I'm asking is whether what you found at Danzo's is a
good enough reason for me to join Anbu and serve a village that destroyed my
fucking life. And yours."
Their gazes locked, and Naruto felt the same pull the always did when he looked
into Sasuke's eyes. So much power. So much pain. How could he not love this
man?
"Sasuke…." Again, Naruto was at a loss for what to say. He couldn't disagree
with Sasuke's statement. Not really. "The village accepts me now."
Sasuke shot him a look that said exactly what he thought about that. "They
should do more than just accept you. They should be on their knees begging for
your forgiveness. Pein levelled this village, and you were the only one who
could stand against him. Which you did, despite all the shit they put you
through. The fact that they 'accept' you now just shows what how fast they were
to change their minds as long as they get what they wanted. The Uchihas were
supposed to be the pride of Konoha, but they were quick to kill us off when
someone said we were a threat. They believed you were a demon just waiting to
destroy the village, but quickly forgot that and all the shit they did to you
as soon as they needed you. How can you stand living here?"
The last question was ripped from Sasuke, as though he had clearly been
wondering it for a long time.
Naruto didn't brush it off. He respected Sasuke too much to do that. He thought
about it for a moment, trying to answer as honestly as he could.
"I guess… part of it is that this is home, for better or for worse," Naruto
ignored Sasuke's derisive scoff. "And I guess I want to change it... I want to
make it better, not destroy it. As much as there are bad people, Sasuke, there
are good ones, too."
Naruto expected Sasuke to make fun of him for his naiveté. But instead, he
found himself under the dark scrutiny again.
"You said that before," Sasuke spoke, his voice low. "And that you were going
to use the things you found at Danzo's."
They'd come full circle. Naruto considered how much to tell his friend. A lot
of what he found in Danzo's lair delved into the dark side of politics not only
in the Nation of Fire, but other nations as well. Sasuke had not really
declared his allegiance to Konoha or any particular faction after the war. The
information could put Sasuke at risk if people knew he had it. It could also be
used as a weapon by Sasuke if the Uchiha decided he was tired of playing nice
again.
But Tsunade had opened this door, and if she was willing to take a chance on
Sasuke with this, then so was Naruto.
"There Council had its own network of supporters, including high ranking
civilians and even people outside of the Fire Country. There were documents
that named names. And also showed what they Council used Anbu for... things
that went far outside its supposed mandate."
"The scroll that did that to you was one of those documents," Sasuke nodded
slightly indicating Naruto's hand.
"Yes."
Sasuke shifted as the muscles in his legs cramped. He could feel the prickles
of sweat on his skin. He thought briefly about how easy it would be to make
this all go away… to make all the sickness stop. He shoved the seductive
thought down, focusing instead on what Naruto was saying. He would not be weak
and give in to his craving.
"But there was more besides just that." Sasuke made it a statement rather than
a question.
"Yes." Naruto hesitated. "But isn't about the Uchihas. There were lots of
things that Danzo was involved in. Things clearly went against the supposed
role of the village to provide defense of the Fire country and deal with
criminals. Your clan wasn't the only one that they had eliminated. And some
were for even less reason"
Sasuke closed his eye, reclining back. "And that's none of my business, right?
Because I'm not a ninja anymore. Just a… civilian of questionable loyalty."
Naruto gave him a steady look. "Not even the captain of the Anbu squad
protecting Tsunade knows what is in those documents, Sasuke. No one is singling
you out."
"But you know what the documents say. You know what they did," Sasuke said.
"Yes. I do. And it's why I am not going to let the Council reform. And why I
know I have to watch my back. They are not going to like me changing the
system."
Something about the way Naruto said the last part made Sasuke's gut freeze up.
If these people were the power behind the Council, and they decided to go after
Naruto...
Sasuke looked like he was about to say something, but he stood abruptly and
walked back to the bathroom. Naruto sighed as he realized all the effort of
getting fluid into Sasuke's system had been undone.
===============================================================================
Naruto entered the bathroom, bringing the bottle of medicine that Tsunade had
given him.
"Here. Take some of this," Naruto handed Sasuke the bottle along with a spoon.
"It's supposed to help with the nausea."
Sasuke took it and read the label, then sniffed carefully at the contents.
"If she wanted to poison you, she wouldn't do it right in front of me," Naruto
said, his voice tinged with annoyance.
"Hn," Sasuke filled a spoon with the brown liquid, then swallowed it. Naruto
watched the pale throat work convulsively to keep it down for a few moments.
Without thinking, he began rubbing the back of Sasuke's neck again, willing the
medicine to stay put.
They sat together on the edge of the tub with Naruto's hand sliding down to
make small circles on Sasuke's back as they waited to see if they were going to
need to make a second attempt or not.
"How do you feel?" Naruto asked after several minutes, still feeling a bit
shocked that Sasuke was allowing him to be with him like this.
Sasuke shot him a half-hearted glare, but then shrugged tiredly. "Maybe
better?"
"Why don't you take a shower? I'll go and clean up in the kitchen. When you
finish, you can try eating a little bit more, then you can rest."
Sasuke didn't bother to tell Naruto that he wasn't likely to be able to sleep.
It didn't matter. His body was exhausted. He felt like he could hardly hold
himself up. Even if he couldn't sleep, it would still be good to be somewhere
other than the bathroom floor.
Naruto turned on the shower then left, closing the door behind him. Sasuke
slowly stripped out of his sweaty clothes then stepped into the shower. The hot
water felt good on his body, though the steam made him slightly light-headed,
and he turned the water temperature down. The feeling of nausea hadn't totally
dissipated, but he was feeling slightly better. It felt good to scrub himself
clean. Naruto appeared with a change of clothes, and immediately left with the
dirty ones. Sasuke felt oddly disappointed, but shook it off. He'd just spent
the evening puking in front of the blond... he was pretty sure sex was the
farthest thing on his friend's mind right now. He wouldn't be interested in
himself either.
It was strange to have someone looking after him like this. For so much of his
life he'd been alone, or in the company of people he knew he couldn't trust. He
had learned not to rely on anyone, and not to let his guard down… especially
when he was weakened from sickness or injury. Rationally, Sasuke told himself
he should be terrified to be in such a weakened condition in front of a man
he'd tried repeatedly to kill. At the very least, Sasuke should be wary.
But he realized with some surprise that he wasn't. Rather than finding Naruto's
presence a threat, he found it… comforting. There wasn't even the tiniest doubt
in Sasuke's mind that not only would Naruto never hurt him when he was in this
condition, but the blond would like defend him to the death of someone else
tried it. It was a strange sense of security, one that he hadn't really felt
since… since Itachi. Before the Council had given the order that had shattered
it all.
He closed his eyes against the remembered feeling, fighting off the memories of
the times when Itachi had looked after him when their parents were out for the
evening. The absolute faith and trust he'd had in his big brother.
It terrified him to feel anything like that again. If Naruto betrayed him… or
was killed…
Sasuke couldn't even complete the thought. His whole body was shaking again,
but this time he wasn't sure if it was just from withdrawal.
===============================================================================
Sasuke came out to find Naruto eating rice and some sort of chicken. He briefly
considered attempting something solid, but at the sight of actual food, he
decided he should stick with the broth. He didn't bother heating it up... it
would sit as well cool as it did warm.
The medicine that Tsunade gave him seemed to be working, because he was able to
get almost the entire bowl of broth and a glass of water down.
It didn't help the overall restless feeling he had, nor the aches in his body.
But at least he wasn't going to end up hospitalized for dehydration. And right
now, the critical thing was keeping this off the radar. Only Naruto and Tsunade
knew what was happening. And if he could make it through the next thirty-six
hours, that was all who'd ever need to know.
Naruto watched the way Sasuke's muscles clenched, the determined expression on
the pale face as he forced more fluids into his body. He ached for Sasuke. How
much more of this would he have to go through before the physical part was
over? Naruto shuddered to think of two days or more of this. But at least
Sasuke was able to hold something down now. He sent a silent thanks to Tsunade.
Sasuke stood, taking his dishes and washing them in the sink before drying them
and putting them away. Naruto finished eating and did the same, aware of dark
eyes following his movements assessingly.
"What?" Naruto finally asked, not sure what to make of Sasuke's intense stare.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Tch. Stupid bastard. You're my friend. Why wouldn't I want to help you?"
Sasuke looked at him skeptically. "You always say that. That it's always
because I'm your friend."
Naruto shifted, suddenly feeling like he was on dangerous ground, but not
seeing a way clear. "So? It's true."
Sasuke leaned back against the counter near the sink. "I don't see you going
this far for everyone you call 'friend'."
Naruto swallowed the slight unease that was rising in him. He didn't think
Sasuke would take it well if he knew the full extent of Naruto's feelings for
him. He felt like he was barely able to keep Sasuke from throwing him out as it
was. But whatever else he felt for Sasuke, it was not a lie that he did feel a
strong bond of friendship with him. The older boy had never accepted other
people's feelings for him in the past. Naruto couldn't afford to drive him away
now.
"I help all my friends. I would give my life for any of them," Naruto insisted.
"And there was a time when you had risked your life for me. And for Sakura. And
for Kakashi. So don't look at me like that. Besides… you were my first friend.
So… I guess... you do mean... more."
Sasuke raised a brow, ignoring the cramping in his legs from standing for so
long. The panic he'd felt earlier hadn't faded. Naruto was making him feel
things that he wasn't ready to feel… didn't want to feel. "I was still a naive
child back then. I've grown up."
Naruto snorted, but wasn't really sure he could contradict what Sasuke said.
Would Sasuke have died to save the members of Team Taka the way he had been
willing to for Team 7? Naruto didn't know… and he honestly didn't know if he
wanted the answer to be 'yes' or 'no'.
Sasuke didn't seem happy with the lack of response from Naruto. "You say you
feel more for me because I was your first friend. So it's a tenure thing? I've
been your friend longest, so I get more... benefits? Who's next in line after
me then? Is there a tiering system?"
Naruto glared, not sure if Sasuke meant benefits benefits or if he was talking
more generally. "Are you tryingto be an ass?"
Sasuke shrugged, not sure why he was even getting angry. Why he wanted Naruto
to be angry with him. He turned abruptly, heading to his bedroom.
"I'm going to go lay down." He knew he wouldn't sleep, but his body hurt and he
could at least rest it.
Naruto let him go, not sure he could say anything that wouldn't just make it
worse. He knew that Sasuke was trying to push him away. He wasn't sure whether
it was because Sasuke was embarrassed to have Naruto to see him this sick, or
if he wanted Naruto to get out of the house so he could get high. Or for some
other reason he didn't even know. It didn't matter. Naruto wasn't going to let
him do it.
He wouldn't quite admit to himself that he could never walk away from Sasuke in
any circumstance. He didn't want to think about that. At all.
Sasuke always seemed to force the issue of why Naruto had chased after him each
time they'd met. And he'd always seemed skeptical about Naruto's answer of
friendship. He wondered how Sasuke would react if he knew how Naruto really
felt. Anger? Disgust? Amusement?
He sighed. Why couldn't he have loved someone simpler, like Hinata?
But he couldn't. He'd tried. After she'd thrown herself in front of Pein and
nearly died for him. God, he'd tried to love her.
Sasuke had nearly died for him, too. But in the end it wasn't about that. You
can't fall in love with someone out of guilt or a sense of debt or even because
it would be easier or make more sense.
It just didn't work that way. A small smile touched Naruto's lips as he thought
about the dark-haired boy resting in the other room. No matter what Sasuke
pretended, he hadn't really tried very hard to push Naruto out this time.
Considering past attempts had included chidori through his chest and nearly a
katana through his back, a few cranky words were hardly much effort at all.
===============================================================================
Sasuke lay on his side on his bed, fighting the urge to curl into a ball. He
felt like hell. More than just the physical pain, his mind was even more out of
control. Given everything he'd learned about his brother and the emotions
Naruto's presence and caring was forcing him to remember, he couldn't tell how
much of what he felt was due to the withdrawal and how much was because his
life really was just that fucked up.
All he could think about was the small bottle that he'd hidden behind his
headboard days ago. He knew Naruto would be watching him like a hawk. But even
without that, he didn't want to take it. He didn't want to let it control him
any more than it already had.
But fuck,he wished he could just feel something elsefor a while!
He closed his eyes, more to shut out the world than any hope of actually being
able to sleep. He couldn't admit it aloud, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to
go through this without Naruto here. After living his life constantly watching
his back, the thought of being this physically vulnerable would have been
unacceptable. He supposed he could go to Orochimaru and get a substitute that
would ease the immediate symptoms, but he knew that this would only strengthen
the mental part of the addiction. He'd seen it play out enough times to know
the drill. It was one of the many tethers Orochimaru had used on his
'experiments' after all.
Sasuke didn't know how long he'd been laying there when he heard the faintest
sounds of someone moving in the room. He didn't open his eyes as he felt the
bed dip. He could smell his soap on Naruto's skin as the blond climbed into bed
with him. Clearly, the younger ninja had taken a shower before coming to bed.
He didn't know why he found it so calming.
"I know you're awake. But we don't have to talk about anything if you don't
want to," Naruto murmured.
Sasuke didn't acknowledge Naruto's words, but he felt his body relax slightly
at the other's presence. Some of the mental anguish subsiding.
"You're still shivering. Are you cold?"
"No," Sasuke said after a moment, continuing to focus on the subtle scent and
feel of Naruto's warmth beside him, ignoring for the moment how glad he was to
have him there.
He heard a soft sigh from right behind him, the warm breath ghosting along the
back of his neck. "You're so difficult about everything," Naruto breathed out.
Sasuke could hear the smile in Naruto's voice. He felt a tan arm slide around
him. He could feel the tension in Naruto's arm, and knew the blond was waiting
for a rejection of the affectionate gesture.
When none came, Naruto let a small sigh of relief. They lay together like that
for several minutes, the only sound in the room was the soft sound of their
breathing. Slowly, Naruto shifted closer, pulling Sasuke's body to him so his
back was resting against Naruto's chest. When - again - there was no
resistance, Naruto let his arms lightly encircle Sasuke's torso, his face
resting at the back of Sasuke's neck. He'd been wanting to hold Sasuke since
their destructive spar in his apartment the day before, but he had no idea how
to ask. In the end, he'd decided that - if Sasuke didn't like it - he was more
than capable of shoving Naruto through the wall for the attempt.
Sasuke lay in the darkness, adjusting to the unfamiliar sensation of someone
holding him like this. The embrace was in some ways more intimate than sex...
it spoke of trust and caring that went beyond simple physical gratification. It
was overwhelming and relaxing at the same time, but Sasuke felt some of the
tension easing from his body at the solid warmth against his back. Despite
feeling earlier that it would be impossible for him to sleep, it wasn't long
before Sasuke's breathing evened out and he drifted off.
Naruto stayed awake for almost an hour, soaking in the feel of simply being
with Sasuke... knowing how difficult it was for this man to allow anyone to be
close to him like this. Finally he, too, closed his eyes and slept.
===============================================================================
to be continued...
So this chapter and the next are sort of the emotional core of where I was
trying to go with this fic... what I thought would need to happen to actually
get Sasuke to face his past and have a real conversation with Naruto about
their future. It is also the hardest for me to write, due to personal reasons.
So I appreciate your patience and encouragement. As a warning, next lemon will
be SasuNaru. It might happen in the next chapter, but it also might not...
depending on how long it takes me to finish out the two scenes that need to
come first before that can happen. You have all been amazingly supportive of me
writing this part, and I am very grateful! *hugs you all* Some of you have
shared stories with me about your own experiences with this, and all I can say
is that you have my complete support and respect.
***** Depletion *****
Warning: Still some withdrawal, but not quite as bad. Sasuke and Naruto
continue to try to figure things out. Especially Sasuke.
Author's note: Thank you so much for keeping me motivated on this fic with all
your reviews! I can't even tell you how much it means to me. Despite this fic
being hard for me emotionally, I have been inspired to update it more
frequently than any of my other fics because of all your support. I was so
touched by the stories that some of you shared, or even the little smilies and
'update!' comments (I don't know why so many authors hate that... I am happy
for any evidence that people like my writing LOL). So... hugs to you all!
-xXx-
Sasuke woke well before dawn, drenched in sweat. The thin, white cotton of his
shirt clung to his body, making him feel chilled and uncomfortable. It had
already been dark when he had gone to bed, and he hadn't bothered to pull the
drapes closed. It wasn't like anyone was likely to be walking through the
deserted Uchiha district anyway, regardless of time of day. His privacy was
relatively assured.
He looked over to where the moonlight left patterns of dappled illumination
over his bed, where Naruto's arm was still stretched across him. The solid
warmth of the blond's touch seemed to reduce the shivers that had wracked his
body earlier. Sasuke looked at the tan skin of the toned arm, the fine blond
hairs that covered it. What was it about Naruto that was so different?
Of all the people that had tried to get close to him, Naruto was the only one
who actually managed it on any level… physical or emotional. Sasuke had always
thought - the few times he'd allowed himself to think about it at all - that it
was because Naruto didn't really want anything from him except his friendship.
Naruto didn't have parents who would be pushing him to attach himself to
'someone of status', and Naruto himself had clearly never cared about that as
he thumbed his nose regularly at whoever the sitting Hokage happened to be.
It was true that Naruto wanted to become stronger by training with Sasuke, but
that was acceptable, because Sasuke felt the same way. He had never considered
that Naruto would desire him the way that Karin, Orochimaru, and Sakura did.
The realization that Naruto did desire him that way should have felt like a
betrayal of some sort. But it didn't. It had felt… obvious. Natural. Sasuke
couldn't explain why he felt that way, except that one of the main differences
between Naruto's attraction to him and the others' was that Naruto never pushed
his desires on him. He didn't bat his eyes or ask him out endlessly. He didn't
try to corner him or force anything on him. He had waited for Sasuke to
respond, for Sasuke to have some interest before anything had happened. If
anything, Sasuke was the one who had escalated things between them, really. He
wasn't sure if it was because the feelings Naruto had were new, or if the blond
was just more patient than the fangirls or Orochimaru had been.
The thought that it could be that Naruto felt something different for Sasuke
than the other did skirted through Sasuke's mind, but he closed it off
immediately.
Sasuke shifted, the muscle cramps making it impossible to lay still. He
carefully slid Naruto's arm off him so he could stand, not surprised when
Naruto opened his eyes to observe him despite trying not to wake him. He was a
ninja, after all.
"You alright?" Naruto's voice was husky with sleep, and Sasuke felt a heat stir
low in his belly at the sound of it. Unfortunately, it was followed by a wave
of nausea.
"The anti-nausea medicine has worn off," Sasuke turned towards the kitchen to
get some more, already feeling his stomach turning. Naruto followed him on
silent feet, taking the spoon from Sasuke's shaking hands in order to pour the
correct amount of medicine.
"You should sleep," Sasuke stated after swallowing the bitter liquid and
putting the dirty spoon in the sink. "You have to go to Tsunade's in the
morning for your check-up."
Naruto shrugged, his eyes running over Sasuke, taking in the pale skin and damp
shirt. "I'll be fine. I've gone much longer without sleep before."
Sasuke was silent, leaning against the kitchen wall with his eyes closed as he
willed the medicine to stay in his stomach.
"You want to go to the bathroom just in case?" Naruto asked calmly, as though
he dealt with drug addicts every day.
Sasuke opened his eyes to glare at Naruto, clearly indicating he would
obviously do so if he needed to.
"Sorry," Naruto scratched his head sheepishly. "I'm just… I don't know what to
do, really. I've never…" he trailed off, not really wanting to complete that
sentence. He'd never cared for someone before. He'd never been cared for. Both
admissions were painful. "I don't get sick much."
Sasuke's gaze didn't shift from him. They both knew that wasn't what Naruto had
been going to say. But it was a statement that was easier for them to both deal
with at the current moment.
"Go back to sleep. I'll be fine," Sasuke's voice was devoid of all emotion.
Naruto almost took him at his word. Almost. But he remembered in Tsunade's note
that the mental part of addiction was even worse than the physical part. Given
how hellish the physical part appeared to be, Naruto decided he would at least
try to distract Sasuke to help him deal with the mental part.
"So… What do you think Tsunade's going to do to try to reverse this thing in my
hand?"
Sasuke's eyes flickered for a moment, then he closed them. "Hn. I don't know.
From what I read, there are a few different things that could work. Depending
on the specifics of how the seal was built out."
Naruto noticed the way Sasuke's shirt was clinging to him, and the way his
hands still shook slightly. He walked over to the living room and sat down on
one of the futons, hoping Sasuke would follow him. "Yeah? Like what?"
Sasuke opened his eyes, then levered himself away from the wall, walking over
to the living room. Even when sick, Sasuke still managed to move with a lethal
grace.
"Dobe," Sasuke said, sitting down on the other side of the futon. "You wouldn't
understand any of it. You didn't read any of the books."
"Humor me. Unless you have something else to do right now in the middle of the
night."
Sasuke's look told Naruto he knew exactly what the blond was trying to do, but
he simply let his head fall back against the futon as he started to speak. He
went through different ways that the seal could have affected his hand, and
different types of jutsus or drugs that he'd heard about or seen that could
counteract effects like that. Naruto didn't focus on the words so much as on
the sound of Sasuke's voice. It was rare that the boy said more than a few
words together.
His voice was lower than Naruto remembered it as a child. But still, it was
instantly recognizable as Sasuke. It had a rich, velvety quality about it that
had always drawn him. He wondered if it was because Sasuke rarely used it that
gave his voice that tone, or if it was just good genes, like his looks and
reflexes. The thought crossed Naruto's mind that - even if he met his friend
again when they were ninety, and Sasuke's voice was rough with age - Naruto
would still know it anywhere.
He was happy just listening to his voice. It didn't really matter what Sasuke
said. As long as it wasn't a death threat. Or notification that he was leaving
the village. Anything else was fine.
===============================================================================
Sasuke looked over at the future hokage sleeping next to him on the futon.
Naruto's head had lolled to the side, his pink lips parted softly. His tan face
seemed oddly peaceful and content. Sasuke looked over at the clock, realizing
that in just an hour or two, Naruto would have to get up and go to his
appointment with Tsunade.
He frowned slightly at the thought of not being able to go with him. But there
was no choice. He looked like hell. Even the biggest idiot would be able to
tell something was wrong with him: his sweaty skin, shaky hands, and sunken
eyes.
He felt… uncomfortable letting Naruto out of his sight. Which was odd, since
the blond was much more capable of taking care of himself now than he was when
Sasuke had left him years ago.
He looked over again at Naruto's sleeping form. The sight was… somehow
comforting. Sasuke felt slightly disoriented at the thought. So many errant,
irrational thoughts and feelings and he didn't know how to handle them. Or stop
them.
And memories. Painful and unwanted, but some now desperately needed.
He'd had a fever, and Itachi had come and read to him on his bed to help him
get his mind off being stuck inside. Their father had scolded Itachi, saying he
should be focusing on his own training rather than fussing over his little
brother. But Itachi had respectfully said that he would make up the extra
training later, and continued to read.
Sasuke had felt special, being important to a person like Itachi. Everyone knew
how amazing his older brother was. And Sasuke was the only one that Itachi
really seemed to be willing to drop everything for.
Sasuke swallowed. The memory painfully bittersweet now, rather than completely
debilitating like it once was. He forced himself to breathe.
His gaze drifted over the sleeping form beside him. For just a moment, he felt
the urge to reach out and touch his former adversary… his only friend. But it
was sure to wake the blond. So instead, Sasuke went over to one of the boxes
still unpacked in the room and pulled out a book and began to read. Naruto was
right. It was better if he distracted himself.
He considered going back to his bedroom to read more comfortably in his bed,
but decided to remain on the futon where Naruto was sleeping. He didn't want to
think about why he felt better staying in this room.
He had been reading for about half an hour when the blond shifted, his head
sliding down and resting on the seat of the futon, brushing against Sasuke's
thigh.
"Tch, Usuratonkachi."
Sasuke ignored the way his pale fingers seemed to gravitate to the blond locks
as though they had a mind of their own. He shifted his book to his other hand
and continued to read, letting his fingers rest lightly. He didn't think about
how soft Naruto's hair was, or why he felt compelled to touch.
Focused on his book, he didn't notice the blue eyes open, surprise turning to
contentment before they slowly drifted closed again.
===============================================================================
Naruto frowned as Sasuke glared at him.
"You're going to be late. Stop being stupid," Sasuke sat in his kitchen chair,
watching Naruto toyed with the spoon in his empty bowl. They'd finished
breakfast, but now Naruto was stalling.
Naruto's frown turned into a slight growl. "Asshole. I just don't like leaving
you alone when you're this sick."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Right, because neither of us ever had to be alone when
we were sick. Besides, isn't that what he's for?" he nodded to where one of
Naruto's clones was standing in the kitchen, watching them argue.
Naruto sighed. He knew he was being stupid. It wasn't like the village was
going to be invaded or anything. And if Sasuke were really going to go back to
taking the drugs, a babysitter wouldn't matter. Still… he didn't want to go. "I
know, I just…"
Sasuke's eyes twitched in annoyance, and the Rinnegan swirled in his right eye.
"Do I need to start practicing the Shinra Tensei."
Naruto briefly recalled Pein's use of the 'Almighty Push' technique as he
envisioned himself hurled through the front door.
"Showoff," Naruto grumbled, eyeing Sasuke's rinnegan eye with wariness. He was
hoping Sasuke was joking. Or at least didn't want to destroy his own house.
Sasuke smirked. "Says the guy who's about to teleport into the Hokage's
office."
Naruto got to his feet and grinned, flipping Sasuke the finger before doing
exactly that.
===============================================================================
Tsunade finished her examination of Naruto's arm in just a few minutes. "I see
no change. Everything appears stable. How have you been feeling?"
Naruto shrugged. "I guess more tired than usual, but otherwise fine."
Tsunade nodded. "That's understandable. Your body is constantly undoing the
action of the seal, meaning you never really get to rest. You've been expending
pretty high levels of chakra basically continuously since you triggered it."
Naruto sighed. He already knew this, and it was getting frustrating that he
couldn't do anything to change that status.
"How are other things?" Tsunade asked carefully, not wanting to say anything
more specific.
The blond grimaced. "Tough. It's really… hard watching."
Tsunade's eyes softened at the anguish and worry that she could read in the
piercing blue eyes. Guilt snaked through her as she remembered a similar look
on Shizune's face many years ago when she was at her lowest point.
"It will get better," she said softly. "He's strong."
Naruto looked away, but nodded. "Is there anything else? If not I'd like to get
back to him."
"Actually, Sai and Shizune found something that they wanted to try. It would be
better if we had Sasuke here, but it should be relatively safe."
Naruto hesitated, but agreed. If he delayed this, it would raise concerns over
why, and the last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to what was
happening with Sasuke right now.
"Alright. Let's do it," Naruto stated. Tsunade nodded and led him to one of the
rooms next to the library where Sai and Shizune had evidently set up shop for
their research. There were books and scroll scattered about the room across the
desks, and a medical table where Tsunade indicated Naruto should sit.
He smiled and Sai and Shizune, hoping neither would ask about Sasuke's absence.
He was to be disappointed.
"I thought we were only going to do this if Kakashi or the Uchiha could be
here," Sai said with a frown. Naruto fought to control the glance he wanted to
shoot to Tsunade. Sai had grown better at reading such gestures.
"I have Sasuke working on something else," Tsunade said brusquely, clearly
closing the topic of conversation.
Sai looked at her expressionlessly for a moment. "But he is not an active
Konoha ninja. Why is he working on something for the Hokage?"
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. She understood that Sai had good reason to mistrust
Sasuke. He had met him after he'd joined Orochimaru, and he seen only the hole
that Sasuke had left in Team 7, rather than the good that he had brought when
he was here. Still, she wouldn't have some kid questioning her orders, Anbu or
not. It was bad enough that Naruto did it.
"The orders that I give do not concern you, Sai. We will focus on the current
task. Kakashi has been delayed, and Sasuke is unavailable for at least another
day or two. Given the level of chakra that Naruto's body is needing to expend
every day to just maintain the balance, we can't afford to wait. At the first
sign of anything unexpected happening, we will stop."
Her tone brooked no debate and Sai simply bowed in assent, though his eyes
still held their skeptical expression.
Shizune stepped forward, laying her hands over Naruto's damaged arm while Sai
drew two seals over the tan skin. He glanced over at Tsunade, clearly waiting
for her signal to activate the seals.
"Naruto, if you feel lightheaded at all, or any numbness in your arm as this
progresses, tell us right away and we'll stop the procedure."
Naruto nodded, and Sai activated the two seals simultaneously while Shizune let
her chakra flow into the damaged flesh. At first he didn't really feel anything
except a slow building of heat. But then suddenly, heat seared up his arm
through his shoulder, nearly reaching his chest before he jerked back.
"Fuck!" he could feel his chakra rapidly draining, like water through a sieve.
"Stop the procedure! If his chakra drains any further the seal will -" Tsunade
was shouting something else but Naruto's vision blurred and everything went
black.
===============================================================================
Sasuke sat at the kitchen table, assessing his physical condition. The nausea
still hadn't returned from when he took the medicine during the night, but it
would be wearing off shortly. His body was fatigued from the combination of
muscle cramps, lack of sleep, and lack of food. His physical weakness and
inability to focus was also affecting his chakra levels, though that was in
essence irrelevant since he wasn't allowed to use his chakra anyway unless he
was under direct attack.
Which Naruto's clone would ensure didn't happen. Not that the clone would need
to… many of the villagers might hate him, but they were too cowardly to
actually do anything about it. Sasuke sneered slightly at the thought. They
seemed to be only comfortable picking on small, defenseless children. His mind
wandered again to Naruto's words, about good people being in the village as
well as bad.
He could agree in principle that not everyone was bad. But it didn't change the
fact that not one of the supposedly 'good' citizens of Konoha had stepped in on
Naruto's behalf even a single time as far as Sasuke knew. Including its ninja
and Hokage at the time. They'd let the boy live alone, shunned and abused, and
never blinked an eye. Until he had become strong enough to be useful. Then they
had gladly hurled Naruto in the path of whatever enemy they needed him to
defeat on their behalf.
So much for loyalty to their supposed hero, the Fourth.
He turned Tsunade's unspoken offer over in his mind. He knew from experience
that the other villages weren't much better. Could he serve this village? If it
meant hunting down Danzo's supporters, would it be worth giving his allegiance
to Konoha again? He had never lied about his loyalty or lack thereof in the
past. He wouldn't pretend to now. If Tsunade asked him if he would serve the
village, what could he say?
If he were brutally honest, he'd probably still derive more satisfaction from
seeing Konoha burn to the ground than he would as an Anbu captain doing
missions to make money for the village that had only ever viewed him as a
weapon or a threat.
But.
There was one thing in the village that he didn't want destroyed. Just one.
Sasuke's hands tensed on the table. He didn't know what he felt about that. He
didn't want to address that fully, or probe how much he was willing to shape
his future choices around that one person.
"That's a very serious expression you have going on there," the clone said,
pulling out a chair and sitting across from Sasuke.
Sasuke just arched a brow. If he was going to talk to Naruto about any of this,
he'd talk to him directly, not through a stupid clone.
As if reading his thoughts, the clone rolled his eyes. "Oh, I forgot. Mr.
Perfect is too good to confide in a mere clone."
Sasuke snorted slightly at the nickname, feeling about as far from perfect as
he could get covered in a film of sweat and weak from his own mistakes…
thinking about burning down the village from his youth.
The clone grinned, clearly not offended as it took the plates from the table.
It opened its mouth to say something, when suddenly the blue eyes flared wide
in alarm. "Oh, shit!"
With that, the clone disappeared with a pop, the dishes smashing to the floor.
Sasuke was frozen for a moment, eyes fixed on where the clone had just been.
The fact that the clone sensed its dispellment coming meant there must have
been a major chakra fluctuation in Naruto. Which could indicate that something
had happened to Naruto's seal, since Sasuke hadn't sense any surge in chakra
that would indicate some sort of battle. Even being across town from the Hokage
tower, if Naruto had pulled down so much chakra that he couldn't keep a single
clone going, Sasuke would have felt it immediately.
His hands broke out in a sweat as his mind raced through the possibilities of
what could have caused this, and how far Naruto's chakra would have had to have
been depleted for the clone to disappear like that. He stood up, his hands
still flat on the table as he forced himself to breathe and consider his
options.
He knew Naruto wasn't dead. Somehow… he would know if that had happened. He'd
always believed he would feel it somehow if that last cord were snipped. But
something was very wrong.
He couldn't just march down to the Hokage's office and demand to see Naruto. He
was unlikely to be let into the building in the first place. Not to mention
that he was in no condition to actually help if they needed him for anything.
A thought flitted across his mind, seductive in its simplicity. If Naruto
needed him, there was a simple solution to his current weakness. He could be
better in less than fifteen minutes if he… just took out the bottle behind his
headboard. Naruto would be pissed as hell, but it was better than having him
die from Danzo's fucking seal.
It would mean having to go through this all over again at some later point, but
Sasuke reasoned that he could recover first before he tried again… choose the
timing more carefully for when he went through withdrawal next time. Of course,
he wouldn't let the drugs control him. But weren't the controlling him now?
Keeping him from doing what needed to be done? He would be the one in control.
Not the drugs. He would control when he took them and when he didn't.
He ignored the tiny twist of anticipation at the thought of the pleasure the
drug would bring. That wasn't why he was taking it.
It wasn't.
He walked quickly to the bedroom, ignoring the way his hands shook in
anticipation, his tongue smoothing over his dry, chapped lower lip as he
reached behind the headboard.
And froze.
It wasn't there. Why wasn't it there? Naruto hadn't searched the bedroom when
they'd come together. Sasuke had surreptitiously kept an eye on him since
they'd come to his place. It had to be there.
He jerked the bed forward, pulling it away from the wall so he could search
behind. Maybe it had fallen, though it seemed unlikely. He dropped to his knees
searching the floor behind and under the bed.
It wasn't there.
Anger surged through him. He shoved the bed into the wall with all his
strength, hearing the frame crack. Where the fuck was it? He went to the
kitchen, dumping the trash out on the floor to see if Naruto had found it and
thrown it away.
Nothing. Not even shards from the bottle.
"Fuck!" He kicked the trashcan across the room. No one besides Naruto had been
in his house. Somehow, Naruto had found it and done something with it. How
fucking dare he? Rage flooded his mind as he went back to the bedroom and tore
it apart, searching in every drawer, and every corner for some evidence of the
broken bottle or something that would indicate what Naruto had done with it.
He went through every room in the house, leaving a trail of wreckage in his
wake. At some level he knew the search was fruitless, that if it hadn't been in
its original spot clearly Naruto had gotten rid of it and searching the rest of
the house wouldn't yield anything. But he needed to vent his frustration and
anger and ripping his house apart was providing exactly that.
He stood panting in his living room, knuckles bleeding, sweating, and feeling
light-headed from lack of food and sleep on top of his physical exertion. Even
though he knew why Naruto had done it, the rational part of his mind fully
agreeing with the blond's actions, he felt an almost uncontrollable anger at
his friend. It hadn't been Naruto's decision to make.
Trying to get ahold of himself, he went to the bathroom and looked at himself
in the mirror. He looked like he'd just come back from the training fields,
covered with dust and sweat, his hair disheveled, hands bloody.
He knew he could buy more if he went back to the shop. He was just considering
how to manage to do that when he felt a chakra signature approaching his home.
It wasn't Naruto. And no one else was welcome.
Especially not this person.
Sasuke could feel his anger surging back up as he heard the sound of someone
knocking on his door. The only thing that kept him from blasting the door off
the hinges and taking out his unwanted visitor was that he realized they likely
came bearing news about Naruto. He needed to be in control and find out what
had happened and where Naruto was. He quickly grabbed his katana, hoping to
push the illusion that he had been training. It would explain his physical
weakness under cursory perusal.
He pushed his anger down and went to open the door. Of course they had to send
Sai.
===============================================================================
Naruto vaguely became aware of voices. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt
like they weighed a hundred pounds each. He couldn't even close his hand into a
fist. His body was nearly completely drained of chakra. He was a little bit
surprised he was even alive.
"What happened? How could it have accelerated the activity of the seal like
that?"
Tsunade.
"Possibly the seals should not have been applied simultaneously."
Sai.
Naruto frowned. Where was Sasuke? His eyes flared open as it all came back with
him. His clone would have disappeared. Sasuke would know something was wrong.
Would he come? Would the guards arrest him if he tried to get in? Would someone
see him and recognize his condition? Panic flooded through him. He had to get
back to Sasuke. Immediately. He had no idea how long he'd been out, but it
didn't matter.
"Baa-chan," he managed to croak out.
Tsunade was by his side in an instant. "Gaki. Lay still. You're stable. The
experiment didn't quite go as expected."
Naruto gave a tired grin. "Yeah, guess not." He licked his dry lips, trying to
see if he had the strength to stand. He didn't manage more than to tense his
stomach muscles, but his body didn't move at all from its prone position.
"Sasuke." He glanced over to where Shizune and Sai were watching them with
concern.
Tsunade seemed to realize the difficulty. There was no reasonable excuse for
her to send a message to Sasuke informing him of Naruto's condition. Not to
mention that the messenger would see Sasuke, and might connect dots that were
better left alone. She obviously couldn't deliver it herself in the middle of
the day when she is clearly needing to tend to Naruto without drawing
suspicion…
The image of Sasuke's expression when he'd watched Naruto as they left her
office the night they'd first learned about Danzo's seal flashed through her
mind. And she made her decision.
"Sai. I need you to take Naruto to Sasuke's house immediately."
Sai's usually expressionless eyes widened in shock, then narrowed in anger.
"What?! Naruto is extremely weakened right now. Sasuke has tried to kill him
several times in the past. It makes no sense to let him anywhere near Naruto.
Especially not unsupervised on the outskirts of town when Naruto would not be
able to subdue him."
Naruto tried not to snicker at the image of him 'subduing' Sasuke… despite the
situation.
Tsunade put on her most intimidating expression as she faced the young Anbu.
Sai was making good points, but he was missing some crucial pieces of
information. He hadn't seen what she'd seen in Sasuke's face. "We can't let
Naruto be seen in this condition. It would draw too much unwanted attention.
Sasuke's place is away from everyone else. No one goes there. Naruto can
recover in private there. Plus, we need a sharingan holder to monitor Naruto's
condition while we continue our research and find out what went wrong. Kakashi
won't be back until tomorrow at the earliest. Sasuke is our only option until
then." Mentally, she made herself a note to send Kakashi a message to delay his
return.
Sai straightened. He had never disobeyed an order, no matter how distasteful he
might find them. Except once. This would make a second time. Both for the same
person. "No."
Tsunade's eyebrows raised, her temper flashing.
"Sai. Please," Naruto said from the examination table. "Take me to Sasuke. It's
ok. I promise."
Sai visibly struggled with the request, remembering Naruto making a similar
claim long ago. Before Sasuke tried to stab him through the back with his
katana while Naruto just stood there and lethim...
"Naruto. You can't trust him. I'm not saying he'll hurt you, but you can't say
that he won't," Sai's voice was calm, but unyielding.
Naruto gave a crooked grin. "But I do. Don't make me try to walk on my own."
Sai looked at his Hokage. Her honey-colored eyes were looking softly at Naruto.
He wondered what the look meant. No one had ever looked at him in that way. He
wondered if his face looked the same when he thought about Naruto, and keeping
him safe.
"If he hurts you, I will kill him," Sai said flatly, looking first at Naruto,
then at Tsunade.
Naruto rolled his eyes. Tsunade smiled and nodded in full agreement. "But only
if there is anything left after I'm done with him," she said.
Sai thought about this for a moment. "I accept those terms." He turned, pulling
out a scroll and released a large bird out the window. No one could see Naruto
in this condition, or it would raise suspicion. They'd have to bypass the town
entirely. He slid his arm under the blond's shoulders, hoisting him up before
heading off across town to the Uchiha land.
Naruto's chakra signature was basically non-existent in his depleted state. He
hoped Sasuke would at least open the door when they got there. As far as he
knew, Naruto was the only one the Uchiha had ever let in.
===============================================================================
to be continued...
So next chapter will have some interaction between Sasuke and Sai. And also a
major decision reached by Sasuke. I still sort of hate the village, the more I
think about it. Pretty sure Sasuke does, too. Except for that one thing. ;-)
***** Sasuke's Decision *****
Author's note: THANK YOU so much for all your wonderful reviews. I can't even
tell you how happy they made me. I am super excited about this chapter, so I
will shut up now and let you read it. Thank you to Mykko_chan for reading this
over!
-xXx-
Sasuke opened the door at the incessant pounding. His eyes widened as he saw
Sai supporting a half-conscious, chakra-drained Naruto. The blond's chakra
levels were so low Sasuke hadn't even been able to sense his friend's approach.
"Hey, Teme. Sorry if I interrupted your beauty sleep," Naruto tried to joke but
his weak voice made it fall flat as he tried to pull away from Sai's supporting
hold and stand on his own.
All of the anger Sasuke felt vanished in an instant and was replaced with
almost panic as he stepped forward, sliding his hand under Naruto's arm before
glaring at Sai.
"What happened?" Sasuke asked tersely. His eye swirled red despite his own lack
weakness as he examined Naruto, noticing how much darker the tan ninja's
damaged arm was compared to how it had been when he'd left that morning. His
stomach clenched at the implications of why that would be, and he shoved Sai's
hand off the younger nin's waist. "He's nearly completely chakra drained. The
seal was stable when he left here. What did you do?"
Sasuke's careening emotions were shifting again towards anger, but directed at
a new target.
Sai narrowed his eyes, but otherwise kept his face expressionless. "We didn't
have a Sharingan or Byakugan holder to monitor the experiment. Something went
wrong and it drained his chakra down to almost zero. We managed to stop it
before it killed him, and Tsunade was able to stabilize the action from the
seal enough to hold until his chakra returns." Despite the inflectionless,
pleasant tone in the man's voice, the word barely was clearly implied. As was
the anger directed towards Sasuke.
Sasuke's grip tightened around Naruto's torso. "What was the experiment? What.
Did. You. Do?" he bit the words out, annoyed that some ninja he barely knew had
been there when he hadn't been.
Sai handed him a note with Tsunade's writing on it as he took in Sasuke's
disheveled state. "Hokage-sama asked me to give you this. It details out the
experiment. She thought you might have something in your library to help
explain what happened. We will be doing further research at the Hokage's
library."
Naruto tried to steady himself on his feet, reaching for the door in the hopes
of ending this conversation before it escalated into full-out conflict between
the two dark-haired nins. He was in no shape to deal with that. "Let's go
inside, Sasuke. Sai has work to do. And I need to lay down before I fall over."
Sai's gaze locked with Sasuke's for a moment. Sasuke could feel the anger and
dislike emanating from the former Root nin. "Do you have a problem with me?" he
asked directly, not caring to beat around the bush.
Sai tilted his head to the side. "I have many. But unfortunately, Naruto is
correct. I have been ordered to return immediately after seeing him settled.
Hokage-sama has requested you to keep an eye on his condition in case the seal
takes over in his weakened condition. She did what she could to temporarily
stabilize him before we left, but he needs to be monitored. Due to the unusual
nature of his injury, we cannot keep him at the hospital or at the Hokage tower
without running the risk of drawing attention. She determined that this…," Sai
gestured stiffly toward Sasuke and his house, clearly unhappy with the
decision. "… was the safest place for him."
Sai took a step towards Naruto, reaching out a hand to stabilize his friend.
Sasuke blocked the former Root nin's arm, tightening his grip on Naruto as he
turned the handle on the door, but didn't open it. He narrowed his eyes at Sai.
"I will see him settled. Just go find out what the fuck went wrong. I'll send
word if I find anything here."
Sai hesitated looking at the rogue nin more closely. At first glance, he had
assumed Sasuke had been sparring or training: his knuckles bloody, his body
covered with sweat and dirt, looking fatigued. Sai narrowed his eyes slightly,
noticing the irregularity of the injuries. They were not consistent with
precise training of the kind he was sure the Uchiha employed. They looked more
like… injuries sustained in a street brawl. Though if Sasuke had been in an
actual fight with someone, the Hokage would have been notified immediately. Sai
frowned at the inconsistency.
"I don't take orders from someone who isn't even a registered ninja," Sai
stated, his feet shifting subtly into a defensive stance if Sasuke decided to
start anything. Naruto's voice cut in.
"Sai. It's fine. All I need to do is sleep. I'll be good by tomorrow, if not
sooner. Just go help Shizune find out what happened. You know Danzo and his
approach to seals better than anyone else. I need your help," Naruto's voice
was calm, and his trust in Sai's abilities clear in his tone. Sai reluctantly
nodded. Naruto was right. He could help his friend more back at the hokage
tower.
If Tsunade and Naruto decided to trust the Uchiha enough to leave Naruto in his
weakened condition, then Sai wouldn't argue.
But. That didn't mean he trusted the Uchiha. Naruto had been wrong about him
before.
Sai pulled out a scroll his brush and quickly painted four mice. Immediately,
they sprang from the page, and positioned themselves at the door.
"They will be stationed here. If you find anything, or if Naruto's condition
worsens, you can give them a message and they will get immediately me." He
turned to face Sasuke. "They are able to sense chakra, and will notify me if
Naruto is attacked. I will leave Naruto in your… care."
The toneless voice took on a distinct tone of skepticism on the last word.
Sasuke arched an eyebrow, his eyes full of suppressed anger but he said nothing
as the dark-haired nin turned and took off over the rooftops back towards the
Hokage tower.
===============================================================================
"Sorry about Sai," Naruto said, frowning after the departing Anbu member. "He…
isn't very trusting."
Sasuke's body was rigid with anger. He didn't know why the obvious trust and
friendship between Naruto and the Root nin bothered him so much, but it
definitely did.
He opened the door to his house, keeping his arm wrapped around Naruto's waist
as they walked in. He glanced back at the watchful mice and briefly considered
using amaterasu on them. But he grudgingly admitted that having a way to
contact the Hokage in case of an emergency was a good idea. Not to mention he
didn't think he had enough chakra currently to pull it off, with his body too
busy trying to ride out the withdrawal to maintain much in terms of chakra
production.
But that was beside the point.
He didn't like Sai. But at least Sai was competent, which was more than Sasuke
could say about most ninja he met.
"He has the guts to say it to my face. That's more than most seem to do in this
village."
Naruto grimaced, but didn't disagree as they entered the house, shutting the
mice out. His eyes widened in shock as he took in the state of the place. No
wonder Sasuke hadn't wanted to let Sai inside. "Sasuke… what the fuck?"
Sasuke stopped, annoyed at the outburst from the blond. It was Naruto's fault
in the first place. Did the idiot think he wouldn't find out? Sasuke felt his
anger shifting back to Naruto. He knew it wasn't normal for him to be this out-
of-control with his emotions, that it was just another phase of the withdrawal.
But the knowledge did nothing to keep it in check.
"What did you do with it?" Sasuke's voice was harsh and low.
Naruto blinked in confusion. "What?"
Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the shoulders, shoving him up against the wall in the
entryway. "You found it when you sent the clone to get my clothes, didn't you?
When I was showering in your apartment. Where did you put it!"
Realization flared across Naruto's eyes, rapidly followed by absolute fury. If
Naruto ever found the man who'd sold Sasuke his first hit, he would rip him
limb from limb. "What?! You trashed your place looking for the fucking drugs?
Are you kidding me Sasuke!"
The anger pumping through him gave Naruto enough energy to shove against
Sasuke's chest, breaking the older nin's grip on his shoulders. Naruto stumbled
as his legs fought to support him and he braced one hand on the wall behind him
to keep upright, glaring at his friend.
Sasuke closed the distance immediately, his fist twisting in Naruto's shirt as
the pale forearm slammed across his chest, pinning the blond hard against the
wall. "Your clone disappeared and I had no idea what was happening! I was in no
shape to go and help you without it. It wasn't your business to get rid of it!"
Naruto didn't have the strength to fight back, but he refused to break his
gaze. "I don't fucking care if it was my businessor not, you asshole! I flushed
it down the toilet. There's no point looking for it."
He had known there was a risk that Sasuke would relapse. Tsunade had warned
him. But he didn't think it would be so soon. His stomach clenched in panic. He
wasn't qualified to help someone detox. But there wasn't anyone else that the
Uchiha would allow in.
"Goddammit!" Sasuke punched the wall right next to Naruto's head with his free
hand, leaving a gaping hole in the surface.
Naruto glared at him steadily but didn't flinch. Sasuke could have punched him.
Naruto was in no condition to dodge. But he hadn't. Naruto clung to that fact.
"What if something had gone wrong and you had needed my help! What - was I
supposed to just wait another day or two until I'm better before doing
anything?" Sasuke was seething. His grip on Naruto's shirt tightened. He wanted
to shake the blond… throw him against the wall. It was taking every ounce of
self-control to keep from doing it.
But as angry as he was, he wasn't going to fight Naruto when his friend
couldn't fight back.
"I don't want your help when you're fucking high!"Naruto shouted, angry and
desperate that Sasuke was already slipping away from him again.
Sasuke sneered at him. "Oh, I see. You're too perfect to take help unless it
comes from the noblest of sources."
"Maybe I'd rather have your help for more than five fucking minutes!"
Sasuke blinked, not sure where Naruto was going with that.
"How are you supposed to help me if you end up in jail for showing up high at
the Hokage's office? How are you supposed to help me if you get permanently
banned from active duty for doing drugs? How are you supposed to help me if
half the time your reflexes are so slow that fucking Udon could take you out!"
Sasuke had a vague memory of a useless, snot-nosed kid by that name, and
narrowed his eyes.
"Who said I wanted to sign back up to serve this fucking village!" Sasuke
shouted, slamming his forearm harder against Naruto's chest, knocking him back
against the wall.
"Oh, that's right. Because you only work for noble fucking causes like the
Akatsuki taking over the world or Orochimaru trying to live forever! Get off
your high horse, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted back.
"Me?! I'm not the one who goes around yelling about being everyone's hero and
saving the day like some idiot! At least I go into things with my eyes open!"
Sasuke put his fist through the wall on the other side of Naruto's head,
violently wishing there were more things to break in his house, but he'd
already broken most of them.
"Oh, really? Is that what you call letting everyone manipulate you doing what
they want is called?! Because from where I sit, you've been a fucking puppet
since you were about six!"
Sasuke knew he was completely out of control. He'd seen it happen to others in
Orochimaru's lab, but he wasn't able to do anything about it. He lifted Naruto
by his shirt and threw him into the wall on the other side of the hallway, only
able to pull back at the last instant to not actually break his friend with the
force of it.
"What do you know! Who the fuck do you think you are? You always claim how much
you know me, but then you say shit like this! So pathetically desperate to find
any way to show you're better."
Naruto hit the wall and slid down to a crouch, leaning heavily into the
supporting structure. He couldn't believe he wasn't injured.
"That's bullshit, Sasuke! Even Itachi said you were a blank slate and easily
influenced. Stop trying to always find someone else to blame and deal with your
own shit!"
As soon as the words left his mouth, Naruto wanted to call them back. He'd seen
the fury whipping in Sasuke's black eyes and had known he'd pushed his friend
too far. But still, Sasuke hadn't hurt him. He realized that Sasuke wouldn't be
able to stop on his own. Naruto needed to try to de-escalate things. Which was
not his strength. He drew a breath.
"Sasuke… just… you can't keep on this path. Please," Naruto forced his voice to
calm down. He couldn't lose Sasuke. He had to find some way to reach him. But
it had to be rooted in the truth. Hiding from their problems wouldn't solve
anything in the long run.
The Uchiha stood there for a frozen moment, feeling like a bucket of ice water
had just been thrown in his face. All his anger about the drugs seemed to
evaporate, replaced with the twisting guilt and anguish and love and pride that
thinking about Itachi always evoked in him.
"When… when did Itachi say that?" Sasuke's voice sounded hollow, when just a
moment ago he had been shouting. He simply stood there, looking down at Naruto,
his entire body rigid.
Naruto swallowed. He had no idea how to handle this. So he decided to just go
with the truth.
"He was… worried about you. He wanted to know -"
"When."
Naruto blew out a breath. "Before you joined Akatsuki. After you killed
Orochimaru."
"I didn't join Akatsuki," Sasuke frowned slightly at the inaccuracy.
"Yeah, right," Naruto growled, and slowly dragged himself to his feet and
leaned heavily against the wall. Sasuke's eyes followed his labored movements.
There was a brief flash of possibly guilt in the dark eyes before they resumed
their expressionless mask. "You just did their bidding."
Sasuke hesitated, then forced out. "We had a mutual enemy."
Naruto looked away and said nothing.
"What else… did he say?" Sasuke asked, his voice raw.
Naruto looked at his friend, able to read the turmoil beneath those words. "It
was the same conversation I told you about before, where he asked me what I'd
choose, if it came to stopping you or saving the village. We talked about that
a little."
"What else?"
Naruto grimaced. "Your brother's not exactly chatty. That was pretty much all
he said. Except that he thought… I was a good friend for you," Naruto smiled
painfully. "And I… I yelled at him for not being a good brother," Naruto
confessed, feeling the guilt surge over him again.
Naruto expected to see anger in his friend's eyes for saying something like
that to Itachi. But all he saw was hollow grief.
"Yeah, well, at least you didn't kill him," Sasuke's voice was thin and empty.
Somehow, it made him feel slightly better that Naruto carried guilt, too. He
wasn't the only one who'd been fooled by his brother while trying to do the
right thing.
They both struggled with their own thoughts in silence. Finally, Sasuke broke
it, remembering that Itachi had told Sasuke when they were battling Kabuto that
he'd made a promise to Naruto.
"You said… the other time… that if you hadn't talked to Itachi, we would have
lost the war. What did you mean?"
Naruto tried to gauge his friend's reaction. Sasuke's eyes met his, the need to
know clear in the black depths.
"Because he gave me Shisui's eye."
Sasuke's eyes widened.
"In some crow that he made me swallow," Naruto grimaced and tried to chuckle at
the memory, but it fell flat. "I guess I deserved to have to eat crow. He was
probably amused by the irony of that. I didn't know what had happened until I
met his Edo Tensei after the war started. The fucking huge crow came out of my
mouth when Kabuto had him activate his Mangekyo Sharingan. And… it broke
Kabuto's control over him. He told me he'd programmed the eye so that if you
ever came after him with his eyes, his own mangekyo sharingan would trigger
Shisui's eye and it would send a command to protect the village. It was the one
thing that he knew could keep you from destroying Konoha, if you ever
actually…"
Naruto trailed off, not able to say the words.
Sasuke smiled horribly. "If I ever sunk so low as to actually kill my own
brother and take his eyes." He brushed a hand over his eyes, the terrible smile
still on his face. "Well, I guess we know how that one turned out."
"Sasuke -" Naruto began, but didn't know what to say. What could he possibly
say? The damage was so complete and irreversible.
"I guess at least something good came from the fact that I was untrustworthy."
The calm, analytic tone in Sasuke's voice made Naruto ache for him.
"Sasuke...," Naruto said, his voice low. "...I trust you. I knew, in the end,
that you wouldn't do it. I told him that."
Sasuke looked at Naruto, completely still, his dark eyes full of anguish and
desperation.
"I don't understand you at all," Sasuke said abruptly, his voice rough.
Naruto gave a lopsided smile. "I think that's been clear for a long time,
bastard."
Sasuke snorted softly. "How can you say you knew what I would do, when even I
wasn't sure in the end which path I'd take? Why would you choose to come here,
to my house, knowing you are completely defenseless right now? Even at your
strongest, you would have to go all out if I went after you again. In this
condition, I wouldn't even need to use chakra. The Anbu wouldn't even sense it
was happening until it was over. How can you say you trust me after
everything?"
Naruto shrugged, as though he didn't know that this was the most important
thing in Sasuke's world right now… the last tie holding him to anything at all.
"Sai basically said the same thing. But I know you won't. I know you, Sasuke.
You can say whatever you want, but I know you. Even when you don't know
yourself."
Sasuke had to look away as his throat closed up. In that moment, he wanted to
be the person that Naruto thought he was… to be that friend that he used to be.
He didn't know if that person still existed. If they'd ever really existed.
"Idiot." Sasuke's voice was gruff. Neither spoke for a moment.
"Are you going to make me fall on this shitty floor or can you at least get me
over to a chair?"
Sasuke shoved a hand through his hair with a short breath that was almost a
laugh. He wasn't used to dealing with his emotions at all, and felt completely
drained by what had just happened.
But somehow, Naruto's presence stabilized him, even if he'd also been the one
to push Sasuke over the edge in the first place.
Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment before walking over and sliding his arm
around Naruto's waist, supporting him as they walked further into the house.
The kitchen table was overturned and two of the chairs were smashed. He took
Naruto to the living room, kicking off the debris from one of the futons before
gently lowering Naruto to sit on it.
"Wow, when you pitch a fit you really go all out," Naruto joked tiredly,
looking slightly amused at the level of devastation. "We already trashed my
place. You're supposed to be the clean, prissy one, remember?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched slightly at the blond's words.
"Dobe," Sasuke took in the full extent of the shinobi's weakened condition. It
left him feeling unsettled at how easily he could have seriously injuring the
blond.
"How close was it?" Sasuke asked after a moment.
Naruto looked at him and raised an eyebrow in question, not sure he understood
the question.
"Today. The experiment. How close were you to Danzo's seal finishing its job?"
Naruto shrugged, looking away, slightly uncomfortable.
Sasuke clearly understood that to mean 'pretty fucking close'. He closed his
eyes and leaned back, trying to get his spiraling emotions under control.
"Next time they are going to do an experiment, I want to be there. No matter
what."
"Ok. As long as you're not high."
Sasuke opened his eyes and looked directly at Naruto. "I wouldn't have been
able to do it," Sasuke's words were heavy in the room.
Naruto knew instinctively he was not talking about anything to do with the
experiment. "Do what?"
Sasuke didn't break eye contact. "Kill you."
Naruto felt a strange lightheadedness steal over him at the words.
"Which time?" Naruto tried not to read too much into the words he had told
himself over and over in the past. When Sasuke had looked at him so coldly and
told him he was nothing, Naruto had wondered if he'd lost him forever.
"Any of them." Sasuke's voice was low, as if he wasn't sure himself that he
should say it.
Naruto slowly lifted his hand and brought it to Sasuke's face, tracing his
thumb over the smooth, perfect ridge of Sasuke's cheek bone before sliding his
fingers into Sasuke's hair. Sasuke leaned forward, his own hand threading into
Naruto's hair as he drew their foreheads together.
Naruto mentally cursed his current condition for leaving him so weakened. He
wanted so much in that moment. His need to touch Sasuke, to possess him to an
extent that almost overwhelmed him. He would never let this man go. It
frightened him a bit to realize the extents to which he would go to keep him.
"Please don't buy more, Sasuke," Naruto's voice was raw with anguish. "I don't
want to lose you to something like that. Please."
Sasuke finally lifted his head so he could look at Naruto. "Why do you stay?
Why you fight for this village?" his voice sounded honestly perplexed.
Naruto was at first surprised by the apparent change in topic, but he slowly
realized that they were related. Sasuke had to make a choice.
"I guess… at first because I wanted to belong. I wanted a home. I wanted to be
accepted," Naruto bit his lip, not liking how weak it sounded to say that out
loud. He was strong now. But at his core… he always felt alone without Sasuke.
Sasuke huffed out an exasperated sigh. "That's not a good enough reason to risk
your life for them."
Naruto shrugged, fully expecting the response. "You had a family, Sasuke, even
if it wasn't for long. You don't know what it's like to not belong anywhere."
Sasuke felt a flash of annoyance that the implication that he couldn't
understand the blond, aware of the irony of the fact that he'd used basically
the same argument on Naruto countless times.
"You said you felt that way at first. What about now?" Sasuke asked, ignoring
the knowing look that Naruto sent him at what his tone had revealed.
"Now… I guess because I feel like I have a home, and I want to protect it. I
know it's not perfect, but I can make a difference here. I can… I can pass on
what Jiraiya taught me… what my… my parents wanted."
Sasuke frowned, considering Naruto's words before answering.
"Jiraiya spent as little time as possible in the village, unless it was peeking
at the bathhouse," Sasuke stated, earning a wan smile from Naruto. "And your
parents sacrificed their life and their child to protect the village, and look
how it repaid that sacrifice. What kind of 'home' is that? How does that make
it worthy of your protection?"
Naruto swallowed hard at the brutal truth of Sasuke's words. He knew that
things hadn't exactly worked out the way his parents had hoped. But things had
come full circle in the end. It had taken time, but the village had accepted
him. He would be the next Hokage.
"That's not all there is, Sasuke. The village isn't all bad."
"Oh really?" Sasuke's voice turned bitter. "Remind me who it was, then, that
offered to take you in when you were a baby and raise you. Or who stopped the
wonderful citizens of Konoha from beating you and shunning you when you were
five. Or who questioned why the Uchiha clan was slowly relegated to the
outskirts of the village. Or who within the most elite leaders of this village
objected to using a mere boy to slaughter his entire clan just so they wouldn't
have to deal with negotiating better treatment of them. Because I'm pretty sure
there was no one."
Naruto could feel the building anger rolling off Sasuke.
"That's right, Sasuke," Naruto agreed, his voice tired. "There wasn't. I won't
deny the shit that was done. But there were people who helped us. Iruka Sensei
defended me against Mizuki when he tricked me into stealing the scroll, even
when he had no evidence that I was anything but a complete waste of space as a
ninja. He was willing to die for me."
Sasuke's mouth tightened as he remembered that time… how quick people had been
to call for Naruto's punishment, their fear and hatred towards the young child
visceral and palpable. But Naruto was remembering Iruka's support… the first
time anyone had actually told him he mattered at all to them. How that had
changed him.
Naruto cleared his throat, seeing Sasuke was clearly not reading the situation
the same way. He tried something a bit closer to home for the Uchiha.
"Kakashi spent way more time working with you to help prepare you for your
battle with Gaara than he needed to. He didn't have to get involved. Genin die
all the time in the exams. No one would have criticized him for it."
A muscle in Sasuke's jaw jumped, and Naruto saw a slight hesitation. "They were
our instructors. It's their job to make sure we survive. It doesn't mean
anything."
Naruto raised a brow, sensing the slight defensive tone that belied Sasuke's
words. "You know that's a lie. But fine. What about Tsunade? She didn't have to
save you after you'd been placed in the Tsukuyomi, but she did. When you left,
Shikamaru led a mission to try to bring you back. Lee, Kiba, Chouji… they all
had to battle the Sound nins for you. They wanted to help you. All of them were
seriously hurt going after your stubborn ass."
Sasuke looked away. "I didn't ask for their help. I left by my own choice."
Naruto's eyes flashed with remembered anger. "Yeah. We knew. But we also knew
you'd been manipulated into it. And we were worried about what that creepy
snake would do to you when he finally got his hands on you. Goddammit, Sasuke!
We cared about you!"
Sasuke shifted, uncomfortable with the discussion. He hadn't asked for help.
But that didn't mean he was glad that the others had been injured.
"People in the village were nice to me because they respected my clan and my
skills. It had nothing to do with friendship. I was a valuable weapon that the
village didn't want to lose. That's all it was."
If Naruto had had the strength, he would have thrown Sasuke across the room at
the words. As it was, all he could do was glare. "That wasn't all it was,
Sasuke." Naruto remembered Shikamaru's words, stating that he really didn't
like Sasuke much. "At least for me."
Sasuke could read the anger and hurt in Naruto's eyes… an emotion he was used
to seeing there. Used to causing. He didn't want to see it anymore. "Maybe not
for you. But for the others, it was."
Naruto didn't know what to say. In truth, some of the others that had gone on
the mission really didn't like Sasuke. Though it was his friend's own fault for
being such an arrogant prick most of the time. But he didn't think they had
gone after him just because he was a weapon. "You didn't make it easy for
people to like you, asshole. But they didn't view you as just a weapon. They
went after you because you were a part of our team. And you were in danger,
even if you didn't think so."
"I knew exactly what the risks were," Sasuke said. "I wasn't naive. I just was
willing to accept them. And the girls liked me just fine, no matter how much of
a supposed asshole I was."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "That's just because they wanted to get in your pants.
You never let any of them get close enough to actually know you or be your
friend. But that isn't their fault. You were the one pushing everyone away. You
can't blame the village for that."
Naruto felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. He was exhausted, but he didn't
think he'd ever get another chance to talk to Sasuke about these things. He
just hoped he didn't pass out in the middle of it. He had to convince Sasuke it
was worth getting clean for. If Sasuke joined Anbu, then they'd be together.
When Naruto became Hokage, Sasuke would be by his side.
Like it was supposed to be.
Sasuke noticed the increasing pallor of Naruto's skin as Naruto leaned his head
back, closing his eyes briefly.
Sasuke thought about the state of his bed, the frame shattered into bits in his
bedroom. Naruto needed to rest. He couldn't do it very well sitting up. Sasuke
stood, adjusting the wooden latch on the futon frame to allow it to lay flat,
kicking the debris out of the way as he reclined it.
Naruto sighed as he stretched slightly, feeling much better and less dizzy now
that he was resting flat.
"Thanks."
"Hn." Sasuke sat on the futon, looking down at Naruto where he lay.
Naruto studied his friend, wondering what Sasuke was thinking. What he was
going to do.
"You can't tell me that the Sound was any better. Every village has a dark
side. But that doesn't mean the good parts don't exist, too. You can't just run
away from it all and live in the forest forever. Not if you really want change
like you said. This is our home, for better or worse. We choose, to make it
better or worse."
"This isn't home anymore. Not to me."
Naruto tried not to flinch at the absolute certainty in that statement. He
could almost feel Sasuke slipping away from him again, and he felt powerless to
stop him. "Then where is home for you?" Naruto asked almost desperately.
Sasuke looked off to the corner of the room. "I feel no affinity for any
particular place."
"It isn't about the place, Sasuke. It's about the people."
Sasuke turned to Naruto. "I spent a lot of time making sure I severed all my
bonds with people."
Naruto tried to place the emotion in Sasuke's voice but failed. He wanted to
ask if Sasuke felt no bond with him. But he was afraid of what his answer would
be in that moment. Just because he had admitted he didn't want to kill him… was
it enough? Was it anything?
"You didn't sever all your bonds," Naruto stated, daring Sasuke to deny it.
Praying he wouldn't.
Their eyes held for several frozen moments. Then finally, "No. I didn't break
them all."
Naruto felt his pulse race wildly at the admission. "Then… stay."
There was a tense silence as Naruto nearly held his breath, waiting for Sasuke
to say something, to make a choice.
"What ties you to this village? Iruka? Kakashi? Tsunade? Is it really enough?
Is it worth all you went through?"
Sasuke's voice sounded slightly desperate, as though he wanted there to be a
reason. Something he could accept. Naruto didn't know if he could give him one,
but he tried to explain.
"It's not just them. There are a lot of people who matter to me here. Old man
Teuchi gave me food when I couldn't afford it… he made me feel welcome. Normal.
Yamato Taicho helped me control Kurama's chakra when I was trying to max out my
shadow clones to learn my wind element faster."
Sasuke's brows rose at that statement, as he realized what the benefit of that
approach would be. Again, something only Naruto could do.
"Jiraiya…" Naruto's throat closed up and he had to clear it before continuing.
"Jiraiya didn't have to do shit for me, but he took me on and trained me."
"How is that enough? A handful of people weighed against an entire village."
"There's more. Shikamaru helped me after Jiraiya died. He cared about me.
Hinata was willing to die for me when Pein had me pinned to the ground with
chakra absorbing rods. Sai went against direct orders from Danzo to kill you,
because he knew I needed…"
Sasuke had tensed when Naruto had mentioned Sai, but he stilled at Naruto's
pause.
"You needed what?"
Naruto didn't turn away from Sasuke's intense gaze. "I didn't want you to die."
"Tch. You seem pretty confident that he could have killed me." Sasuke ignored
the way his stomach warmed at the way Naruto had said he didn't want him to
die.
Naruto held back a snicker at the arrogance of the statement. "You should have
seen his bingo book," Naruto said. "You would not have been the first S-ranked
nin that he took out."
Sasuke glared at him. "But he didn't." Though it was possible that he could
have. Sasuke didn't want to admit that out loud. But that was a long time ago.
Sasuke was much stronger now. The only nin that could take him out at this
point was lying on his futon, chakra drained.
"Because I asked him not to. Because he wanted to see if it were really
possible to have a bond survive what had happened to us."
Sasuke didn't reply to that.
The silence began to stretch. He lay down on his back on the futon, next to
Naruto and looked up at the ceiling before finally asking.
"Why me?"
"What?" Naruto asked, looking over at his friend.
"Despite all the people you named, you didn't really get close with anyone else
after I left. Why fixate so much on me? It's not like I made it easy for you,"
Sasuke sounded almost angry again.
"No. You didn't make it easy. In fact, you were a complete ass most of the
time."
"Then why? I know you don't give a fuck about my family. And your skills are -
" Sasuke couldn't quite bring himself to admit again that Naruto had possibly
surpassed him. Or at least caught up. Not out loud. "You don't need my help on
your training."
Naruto grinned. "Now that's a lie. I'd love to put my Hiraishin no jutsu
against your Shinra Tensei. I got at least one clone to teleport already. I bet
I could do more. It would be cool to see if you can push them all out of the
way or if they can teleport through it."
Sasuke paused for a moment, actually sort of excited about trying that out. He
hadn't had much chance to use his rinnegan. There hadn't been much of a reason
to.
But maybe… it would be fun to train with Naruto.
However, he wasn't going to let the blond distract him from his question.
"Hn. Maybe. But you're not really answering the question. You didn't chase me
all those years to have the opportunity to spar with a rinnegan user."
Naruto shrugged. His feelings for Sasuke were complicated. He didn't really
understand the root of them himself, but he wanted to give Sasuke something.
Something concrete that wouldn't scare the Uchiha away. "I guess… because we
were both alone. Both the same. And…"
Naruto stopped, not sure how to really say this.
"And what?"
"And… at my worst, if I really got out of control… I know you could stop me.
Yamato Taicho did his best, but even he couldn't stop me when I had more than
five tails."
Sasuke's eyes widened as he realized what Naruto was saying.
"That's why we fit. Even without all the stuff the sage told us. I always felt
like… we needed each other. I'm the only one strong enough to stop you. And
you're the only one strong enough to stop me. We keep each other in check."
Sasuke hadn't really considered that before. It was probably the real reason
that Naruto had been placed with him on Kakashi's team, in retrospect. The two
sharingan holders were the best chance at controlling the kyuubi if it had
taken over.
"But you don't have to worry about that now. You and Kurama aren't fighting for
control anymore."
"No," Naruto smiled slightly, missing his friend and hoping he'd recover soon.
"But it wasn't always like that. And I guess the idea that… that you would be
able to sense him, to help me if I needed it, sort of took root. And I wanted
to do the same for you. We both have darkness in us, Sasuke. And the more
powerful we become as shinobi's, the more dangerous it will be. How many
powerful people have you met who weren't corrupted eventually?"
Naruto looked over at him, giving a slight smile. He placed his right hand on
Sasuke's left hand expecting it to be thrown off. Relieved when it wasn't.
"I'm not asking you to trust the village. I'm asking you to trust me. You said
you want to change things. Well so do I. I'm not blind to the bad things that
happen, Sasuke. I just am willing to try to change them without blowing
everything up to do it."
Sasuke looked up, drawing a breath. Did he trust Naruto? He already knew the
answer to that. It had never been an issue of trust between them. Naruto was
the one person Sasuke knew would never intentionally betray him or use him.
And it was true what Naruto said. Sasuke did want to change the system. It was
corrupt and flawed at its core. He wanted to burn it down and watch it crumble.
Working with Naruto would allow him to get revenge on the real power behind the
Uchiha massacre. Beyond Danzo, beyond the council.
"Besides. We're stronger together. Fire and wind. You saw it in the battle
against Madara and the Juubi," Naruto pushed again. If Sasuke wanted reasons,
he would give him ones that he could accept.
Sasuke looked over at Naruto, saw the way the blue eyes focused on him, daring
him to deny what he wanted.
"Hn," Sasuke said, neither affirming nor denying what Naruto said. But he'd
already decided.
They lay on the futon, their hands touching but not quite clasping.
Naruto knew that it was up to Sasuke now. He'd done everything he could.
Despite his efforts, he felt himself slowly losing the battle to stay awake and
began to drift into sleep. He slipped his fingers through Sasuke's, not wanting
to take the chance that the boy would leave him while he slept. After a slight
hesitation, he felt the returning pressure of Sasuke's fingers closing around
his. A small smile formed on his lips as consciousness faded.
Sasuke watched as Naruto drifted off to sleep. He'd made his choice. He might
not have ties to the village. But he had ties to Naruto.
The first thing he needed to do was get through the withdrawal. He remembered
the temptation he'd felt when he'd decided to take more of the drug, and the
rage when he'd discovered it was gone.
He needed to break the cycle of addiction, or he would remain weak. Orochimaru
had studied addiction and its effects on his prisoners. Sasuke had read about
aversion therapy, and seen it work in Orochimaru's lab. It was brutal, but it
was the fastest way to break the mental side of the addiction. And Sasuke had
an advantage that Orochimaru's experiments didn't: the sharingan.
He could feel the anti-nausea medication wearing off. He wouldn't be taking
more. Every muscle cramp. Every chill. Every wave of nausea. He could combine
those sensations with a perfect image of the opium he had consumed. The look,
the taste, the smell of it. Naruto would likely sleep for at least twelve
hours. Sasuke would spend those hours reprogramming his mind. If he put himself
in the Tsukuyomi, he could spend days, even weeks correcting his mental
pathways in mere minutes in the real world.
The next time Naruto needed him, Sasuke would make damn sure he wasn't too weak
to help.
===============================================================================
to be continued…
A/N: Finally! Sasuke has made his choice and he has found a way to break his
cycle of addiction. I really felt like it would NOT be automatic for Sasuke to
re-join the village. Even though it was completely glossed over in the manga,
he had some very valid reasons to not want to come back. So I wanted to take
that head on in this, and come up with something reasonable that would be
enough. Naruto is a big part of it but he isn't EVERYTHING. Sasuke also wants
to achieve something and change the system. I think he needs both things, as
cute as it would be for it to be 'only for Naruto'.
AND... now that Sasuke is getting himself off drugs… things can start to heat
back up (I am trying to decide between sage mode sex, sharingan sex, use of
chakra wire, sparring, um… so many things I will probably end up posting a
bunch of oneshots on y!gal coming out of this fic since I can't squeeze all the
different, kinky hot ninja sex ideas I have into this fic without ruining the
story).
YES I DID STEAL THE IMAGERY FROM 698 IN THE FUTON SCENE. In my mind, that was
the place the manga should have ended on. So I gave that panel a shout-out
here.
***** Active duty *****
Summary:The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his
defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As
his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try
a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga
chapter 693.
Author's note: So... I love Itachi. And it made me sad that he wasn't really in
this, because... well... obviously he's dead. But... hmmm... just read. :-
) Thanks as always to Mykko_chan for reading parts of this and encouraging me.
-xXx-
Sasuke lay with Naruto for several hours, not wanting to disturb the blond's
sleep as the Jinchuuriki's body recovered. He could feel the nausea building
up, and knew he'd have to get up soon. Carefully extracting his arm from
beneath the sleeping ninja, Sasuke moved with complete silence to the bathroom.
He paused in front of the mirror, hesitating only a moment before his eyes
swirled red and commas of Itachi's mangekyo sharingan appeared. He looked at
himself in the mirror, his brother's eyes looking back at him.
He thought briefly of his past experiences with being placed under the power of
Itachi's tsukuyomi. The first two times, it had been destructive, as Itachi had
forced the exaggerated, brutal images of his clan's murder, altered to make
Itachi out to be the heartless killer that he wasn't. Sasuke had been
incapacitated those times, the trauma of the images so damaging to his psyche
that in the second case he was in a coma for many weeks. But the third and
final time, Itachi had used it not to harm him, but rather to show Sasuke the
truth of their parent's death and Itachi's own grief and suffering during the
act. While the anguish of Itachi's pain had left Sasuke shaking, he had been
otherwise undamaged.
He knew he could do this, control it. It would take much of his remaining
strength, but he had enough chakra to see it through. And somehow, looking at
his brother's eyes, it felt right that it was through this one last piece of
Itachi that he would break the addiction. He smiled slightly, knowing his
brother would be pleased as well.
He activated the tsukuyomi.
The bathroom vanished, replaced by a room dark, shrouded from the light. The
only remaining tie to his physical reality was the mirror he had stood in front
of when he activated the genjutsu. He could feel a familiar presence in the
room.
"Foolish little brother," the deep, familiar voice came from behind him,
resonant with the arrogance, love, and strength that he remembered as a child.
And from their last battle together against Kabuto.
Sasuke looked into the mirror, unsurprised to see the image of his brother
standing behind him. Itachi's hair was pulled back in its usual low ponytail.
But the Akatsuki robes had been replaced with an Anbu uniform, better
reflecting of his elder brother's true loyalties and motives.
"Nii-san," Sasuke's voice was low, thick with emotion, even though this wasn't
real.
What was reality, after all? Some essence of Itachi and his memories surely
resided in his eyes. Sasuke merely tapped into them, bringing them out in a way
that he could interact with them.
Itachi looked at him assessingly, seeing more in this vision than even the real
man could have observed in real life. "Let us put an end to this, Sasuke. You
have other things to see to."
Sasuke closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of his brother's hand on his back.
His body was wracked with a spasm as his muscles convulsed in withdrawal. A
perfect image of the drug appeared before him. Sasuke lit it and breathed the
heavy smoke into his lungs, holding it there for maximum absorption.
Only this time, instead of bringing instant bliss, it brought only an intense
wave of nausea and an agonizing bout of muscle spasms.
Sasuke fell to his knees, his body wracked with pain.
"Again," Itachi stated. There was no sympathy in his brother's voice, but no
judgment or anger either. It was the same voice that had urged Sasuke on in his
training when they were young. The same voice that had guided him on the one
mission he had accompanied his brother on in his youth to kill the boar that
was tearing up the crop fields. The calm voice that always made him want to do
the impossible. For the brother he had looked up to above all else.
Sasuke obeyed as another silver tray of the black paste appeared. The warmth of
his brother's hand on his back the only small comfort he allowed himself. He'd
made his decision. And like any Uchiha, he chose the most effective means to
ensure the desired result.
===============================================================================
A small black mouse squeezed under the crack of the door to the sole standing
building in the Uchiha compound. It picked its way through the rubble until it
reached the futon in the middle of what used to be the living room, moving
soundlessly. Its feet left no tracks, not even through the fine dust that
covered the floor.
It paused, examining the young blond man that was sleeping on a futon laid out
peacefully in the middle of the destruction, taking note of the way the boy had
been carefully tucked in with a clean blanket. It crept over the sleeping form,
its weightless body making no indentation in the fabric of the blanket at all
as it paused to assess the blond's breathing and heart beat before continuing
on deeper into the home.
It came to where the source of the chakra flare it had detected had originated,
and looked for a moment at the dark-haired man standing rigidly, staring into
the mirror. It did not miss the number of commas in the red-swirled eye.
Abruptly, the eyes closed and the boy crumpled to the floor, seemingly
unconscious.
The mouse move forward, unhurriedly, assessing the vitals of the prone figure.
===============================================================================
Sai looked up, his attention drawn to the scroll he had used to create the
sentry mice that he'd left at the Uchiha's house.
"What is it?" Tsunade asked.
Sai stared at the scroll for a moment, where a mouse had reappeared. "It seems
as though the Uchiha has placed himself in some sort of genjutsu. He collapsed
shortly after. But it seems to be from exhaustion and low chakra rather than a
comatose state like what you described after being put in a genjutsu by
Itachi."
Tsunade's mind race through the options and possible explanations. "And
Naruto?"
Sai frowned slightly, as though confused by something. "The house showed signs
of battle, but Naruto was completely unharmed. He was sleeping, tucked into bed
and resting comfortably."
Tsunade felt a surge of hope. Could that baka have really done it? Had he
convinced the Uchiha to rejoin the village? She'd have to wait and find out.
But she was fairly sure she knew what the rogue nin had done when he'd put
himself into a Tsukuyomi. From what she knew of the technique, the boy hadn't
saved himself any of the suffering, simply compressed it into a much shorter
timeframe.
She felt a flash of grudging admiration for the boy.
Whatever she could say about the rashness of his approach, the kid had balls.
She'd give him that much.
===============================================================================
Naruto slowly opened his eyes, taking in the light filtering through the living
room window. The motes of dust from the decimation of walls and furniture hung
in the air, drifting lazily about. There was no sound of anyone moving about
the room. Naruto could tell by the cold space next to him that Sasuke was no
longer in bed with him, and had been gone for some time.
He slowly flexed his fingers, testing his body to see whether sleep had
restored him the way it usually did. The muscles and tendons all performed
adequately. He briefly allowed his chakra to flare, feeling his normal levels
responding.
Deciding he was well enough to stand on his own, Naruto rolled off the futon
and brushed himself off from the dust that had drifted over him while he slept.
A frisson of nerves crept along Naruto's spine as he took in the complete
silence in the house. He could feel Sasuke's presence, but there was no sign of
motion. The man had not come back to bed with him, and Naruto was pretty sure
that the futon was the only piece of furniture that remained intact in Sasuke's
home. He hoped that Sasuke hadn't gone out to buy more drugs and returned only
to smoke himself into a stupor. His stomach turned over at the thought.
Forcing himself to walk, he carefully moved through the room, avoiding chunks
of wall and shattered furniture.
"Sasuke?"
There was no response, and Naruto's unease grew. He made his way down the hall,
stopping as soon as he got to the bathroom door.
Sasuke was collapsed on the floor, a single bloody tear track leading away from
his right eye.
"Fuck, Sasuke! What did you do?!" There was no response to his question, and
Naruto felt panic surge through him as he bent down, laying his head on
Sasuke's chest. His panic subsided slightly when he felt and heard the steady
rise and fall of Sasuke's chest taking in air, the heartbeat strong and regular
in the pale chest.
He sat up, carefully checked Sasuke for further signs of injury, his senses
flaring to detect the presence of a possible enemy, though already knowing he
wouldn't find any.
Seeing no physical damage, Naruto slid one arm beneath Sasuke's shoulders and
the other beneath his knees and carefully lifted his friend from the bathroom
floor and carried him over to the futon. The bloody tear made it clear that
Sasuke had activated his sharingan. But why?
Naruto carefully laid his friend down on the mattress, hesitating a moment
before going over to the kitchen to get a wet cloth.
He wondered if he should get Tsunade, but he was worried that it would draw too
much attention. People would notice if he was seen carrying the unconscious
Uchiha through the village. He thought about teleporting, but he wasn't sure
about possible after-effects of the chakra drain that had happened yesterday.
If his chakra fluctuated at the wrong time, both he and Sasuke would be killed
in transport.
He looked down at the perfect, pale face, not sure what to do.
"God damnit Sasuke! You're supposed to talk to me before you do something like
this. I don't know what to do!"
Naruto took the wet cloth and gently wiped the blood from below Sasuke's eye.
The action soothed him more than it likely did his friend. It was strange how,
even a month ago, the thought of touching Sasuke's face, of showing this type
of care for him would have been impossible. Now it felt completely natural.
A fierce rush of possessiveness surged through Naruto as he gently traced his
fingers over the fine arch of Sasuke's cheekbone. No one else could touch
Sasuke like this. No one else was allowed. Naruto drew a shuddering breath,
trying to make himself focus on the situation.
He had really no abilities in the healing arts… Kurama's chakra healed his own
wounds, but that was done with no effort or thought on his part, and he'd never
been able to extend it to others. He had no ocular powers to probe beneath the
surface and see what the damage was.
His biggest concern was whether Sasuke had somehow gotten trapped into a
genjutsu. Thinking quickly, he crossed his legs, holding onto Sasuke's hand as
he closed his eyes, stilling his mind. He slowly felt the energy of his
surroundings begin to seep into him. After several minutes, he opened his eye,
now shadowed with the tell-tale orange coloring that he had entered sage mode.
In this state, he was able to sense the emotional state of others - hatred,
hostility, aggression… if Sasuke were in pain or distress, he would be able to
tell. He let his enhanced senses range. There was no sign of any mental turmoil
from Sasuke. He appeared to be simply unconscious, not trapped in some sort of
genjutsu.
Naruto breathed a small sigh of relief.
Deciding that he could afford to wait for Sasuke to regain consciousness,
Naruto figured he may as well make use of the benefits of sage mode to get some
of the heavier pieces of debris out of Sasuke's home. He carried out the broken
dining table and the shattered bed frame and put them in a pile far enough away
from the house that Sasuke could burn them if he chose.
Naruto noticed one of Sai's mice watching him, but it made no move to go
inside. Naruto didn't spend any time worrying about it. He didn't want to be
away from Sasuke for long.
===============================================================================
Sage mode had long since worn off, but at least Sasuke's house was clear of the
debris. They'd have to get new furniture, as very few pieces had survived but
at least now it didn't look like a war zone.
Naruto looked in on Sasuke, but he appeared to still be sleeping. Deciding that
the next thing that desperately needed cleaning was himself, Naruto took a
quick shower and changed into some clean clothes.
Walking into the living room to check on Sasuke, he was met with two dark eyes,
awake and fully alert, watching him.
===============================================================================
Sasuke awoke slowly, his mind fatigued and still slightly reeling from the
endless days of reconditioning that he had put himself through, though in real
time, it had been less than twenty-four hours.
But as he let his mind consider using the drug again, the instant revulsion and
nausea that accompanied that thought made it worth it. It had worked.
He might still have other issues, but the drug would no longer be a temptation
for him.
A motion out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. One of his living
room windows had been shattered, either in his fight with Naruto or his frantic
search for the drugs. Something black was perched on one of the shards of
glass. At first, the figure seemed distorted, but then it moved out from behind
a hanging piece of the fractured glass, and Sasuke was met with two sharp, dark
eyes observing him.
The crow cocked its head to the side, as though assessing Sasuke's condition.
Then it looked behind Sasuke, towards the hallway.
"Sasuke!" Naruto's voice came from behind him, and Sasuke's attention was drawn
from the bird as Naruto quickly crossed to where Sasuke was still laying.
Though Naruto was clearly trying to conceal his emotions, worry and relief
poured out of the electric blue eyes as the raked over Sasuke's face, searching
for any sign of his condition.
"Geez, I take a little nap and see what happens? I can't leave your alone for
even a few minutes." Naruto's voice shook slightly as he knelt down by his
friend.
Sasuke felt a tug of amusement at the sight of the most powerful shinobi in the
village kneeling beside him, fretting.
"So… you gonna tell me what you did to yourself while I was sleeping?" Naruto's
hand drifted towards Sasuke's cheek as he remembered the blood he'd cleaned
from it earlier, but paused before it made contact. "Your eye was bleeding.
That happens when you activate the mangekyou sharingan, right?" Naruto's hand
dropped back to the bed without touching the Uchiha.
"Hn," Sasuke glanced at Naruto's hand, then levered himself up onto his elbow.
"It's been three days. The physical part of the withdrawal is over now. I just
made sure that the mental part ended as well."
Naruto hesitated, not sure what that meant. "What did you do?"
Sasuke looked calmly at Naruto. "I simply made sure that my mind connected the
correct physical sensations with the substance that produced them."
Naruto blinked at the dark tone of Sasuke's voice, having a feeling that the
man had gone far beyond what his simple wording implied.
"Are… are you ok now?"
Sasuke would have glared if he had the strength. "I'm covered in sweat, nearly
chakra drained and haven't been able to hold food down for the past fifteen
hours. Am I mission fit? No. Am I through the withdrawal? Yes."
Relief washed over Naruto so fast that he didn't even catch something important
that Sasuke had said for a moment. Then it hit him.
"Wait. Mission fit? Does that mean…"
Sasuke stood, picking up the blanket and tossing it to the center of the
mattress. "I need to eat. And I need to shower. Then we need to go talk to
Tsunade about the offer she made me."
Naruto felt almost light-headed at the rush of elation that surged through him
at Sasuke's words.
Sasuke was staying.
He was rejoining the village.
After so many years, so many failed attempts.
He blinked when he felt two fingers poke against his forehead.
"Dobe… are you broken? You're just standing there looking more like an idiot
than usual."
Naruto could hear the smirk in Sasuke's voice.
He blinked, hardly even noticing when his hands reached out and fisted into
Sasuke's hair, pulling his face to Naruto's. The blond pressed his lips to
Sasuke's with enough force to bruise as he forced the surprised nin's mouth
open before thrusting his tongue inside. He felt the change in Sasuke's posture
the instant the older boy began returning the kiss, their bodies pressed so
tightly together that not even a grain of sand could wedge between them.
He groaned when he felt Sasuke's hands latch into his own hair.
He would never let this man go. He didn't want to think about what would have
happened if Sasuke had made a different choice. Of the lengths he would have
gone to change this boy's mind.
"Sasuke," Naruto's voice was low and raw and shaking.
Sasuke pushed his thigh between Naruto's legs, emitting a low growl of approval
at the hardness he found there.
Naruto's hands slid from the dark hair down to latch on Sasuke's hips as he
drew their bodies even closer, feeling an almost desperate need to hold onto
him, as though he might still slip away.
Sasuke stumbled slightly, causing Naruto's brain to kick in.
This wasn't right. He had to stop. They hadn't talked about what had happened
before. Naruto had no idea how much of their earlier actions were just because
of the drugs. On top of that, Sasuke had gone nearly a full day without food or
water at this point. Not to mention whatever hell he'd put himself through with
the mangekyo sharingan. Naruto had already taken advantage of him once, even
though he hadn't known it at the time. He wouldn't do it again.
It took every ounce of willpower to step back.
"Naruto -" Sasuke was breathing hard, lust mixing with confusion in his gaze as
he tried to follow and close the distance again, but was stopped by a hand on
his chest.
"I'm sorry," Naruto said, trying not to look at the redness of Sasuke's lips or
the way they were slightly parted from their exertions. "You've been sick for
days. And we need to go to Tsunade before she comes looking for us. I have no
idea how long we've both been out."
Sasuke frowned, frustration coursing through him. Naruto had been pulling back
ever since he'd found out about the drugs. He'd made it through the withdrawal.
So why was Naruto still pulling away? A thought flickered through Sasuke's mind
about how Naruto kept insisting that they were 'friends'. Was he changing his
mind on what he wanted? What did Naruto want? Aside from Sasuke to rejoin the
village.
A wave of dizziness from low blood sugar hit him. If he had the strength, he
would have pushed things. But it would evidently have to wait. He narrowed his
eyes at Naruto. If the blond thought this was going to be just a onetime thing
to satisfy his curiosity, Sasuke just might have to revisit his decision to not
kill him. He looked at the blue eyes, trying to read what was happening. The
underlying lust was still visible, which soothed Sasuke somewhat. But it was
overlaid with guilt and determination.
"Fine. I'm going to shower," Sasuke's voice was tinged with annoyance.
Naruto bit his lip, sensing the leashed anger in his friend. "You need to eat,
too. There should still be leftovers from before."
Sasuke nodded curtly, then went to shower.
Naruto sat down on the futon, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. "God,
this is just not fucking fair," he mumbled, hoping his erection would go away
before Sasuke got out of the shower. Trying very hard to not think about Sasuke
in the shower.
He look up, suddenly noticing the crow still perched on the broken glass in the
window. Naruto knew he must be projecting but he swore he saw a look of
amusement in the crow's intelligent eyes before it flew away.
===============================================================================
They decided that - until Tsunade had examined Naruto's hand thoroughly - he
shouldn't risk large expenditures of chakra. Which ruled out teleportation. So
they ended up walking to the Hokage's office instead.
Naruto was acutely aware of the looks they got. They way people's face would
brighten into a warm smile of greeting to Naruto, then abruptly freeze in
either fear or distrust when they caught sight of who was walking beside him.
Sasuke appeared not to notice, but Naruto felt his anger slowly build as they
walked.
It angered him. He was tired of bad things being done and swept under the rug,
leaving others to take the blame. To what purpose? Just so it could all happen
again?
Impatience surged through him. He only agreed to keep the findings about Danzo
temporarily secret because otherwise it would give the people who had enabled
him a chance to cover their tracks and escape. But watching the way the
villagers looked at Sasuke, judging him in their ignorance, made his blood
boil. He knew that it wasn't really their fault that they didn't understand,
but he was afraid that their attitude might make Sasuke change his mind before
they even got to the tower.
He would never allow something like this to happen again. As Hokage, he would
make sure that the system was changed. But he needed Sasuke with him. He
couldn't lose him now. The walk to the tower seemed endless.
"Relax," Sasuke's emotionless voice reached him. "They aren't important enough
to make me change my mind."
Naruto's eyes widened as he looked over at Sasuke's calm, expressionless face.
Sasuke turned and looked briefly at him for a moment, his dark eyes
impenetrable. It was all Naruto could do to not wrap his arms around Sasuke and
kiss him right in the middle of the street. He wondered with a bit of amusement
what the villagers would think about that.
"Don't even consider it," Sasuke said, a small twitch on his lips.
"What?!" Naruto blushed, realizing he must have been looking at Sasuke a lot
less subtly than he thought.
The rest of the walk seemed somehow better. Naruto walked next to Sasuke, the
backs of their hands and the outside of their arms occasionally brushing.
Naruto still bristled when he saw anyone casting a disparaging glance at his
friend, but for some reason after their brief exchange Sasuke seemed almost
smug about it rather than annoyed or offended. Naruto wondered why, but figured
this wasn't the time to ask.
===============================================================================
They arrived at the Hokage Tower and were shown inside, the guards clearly
having been told to expect them.
Tsunade ran her measuring gaze over them both as they entered her office,
dismissing the guards and sealing the room.
"I see you decided to take the door this time. Are you having difficulties with
your chakra levels?" Her voice reflected her concern as she walked over to
them, examining Naruto's arm.
"No. I think I'm ok, but I just… didn't want to accidently embed Sasuke and me
into your floor or something if my chakra levels suddenly destabilized."
Tsunade's eyebrows raised in surprise at the unusually sensible precaution. She
glanced over at the dark-haired ninja, fairly sure that Naruto's new-found
risk-aversion was more tied to keeping his friend safe than ensuring his own
safety.
"It looks ok. I think we've figured out what went wrong last time. Instead of
doing the reversal seals simultaneously, we need to first release the one that
drains chakra before releasing the one that damages the chakra production."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure, or are you guessing again?"
Tsunade released Naruto's arm and turned to face the Uchiha, her expression
completely calm as she raised an eyebrow. "Did I miss the part where you had a
better solution and were in any position to carry it out? No, I thought not."
Sasuke had the grace to look away.
Tsunade wasn't finished with him, though, as she stepped right up into his
personal space, wrapping her fingers lightly around his chin to turn him to
face her. She looked into his eyes for a moment, before releasing him. "You're
clean. Good. Are you planning on staying that way, or was this just a special
occasion today to keep me off your back?"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her, but didn't back down from her challenge. "It's
permanent. I've broken the cycle."
Tsunade's gaze didn't waver, and Sasuke thought he caught a glimmer of respect
in her amber eyes. "Well. There appears to be at least some side benefits to
being a sharingan-holder. Even if it greatly destabilizes the mind in the first
place, at least it gives you a shortcut for repairing some of the damage you
inflict on yourself."
Sasuke didn't seem surprised at the fact that she seemed to know exactly what
had happened. It took Naruto a moment to remember that Sai's mice had been
sentried outside Sasuke's home, and probably would have sense the chakra spike
when the Uchiha activated his sharingan.
"Good. Then I don't have to take drastic measures on my own. Though at some
point, I do want to know where you got it from."
Sasuke simply looked at her, as Tsunade turned her attention back to Naruto. "I
want to wait until both you and Sasuke are fully recovered before we make
another attempt to deactivate the seal. We'll try in two days. Kakashi will be
back then as well. Why don't you go and do some training. I want to know if you
notice any difference when you spar. Tell me immediately if you notice
anything. But by the looks of it, everything has returned to the way it was
before we attempted the deactivation."
Naruto paused, getting the strong sense that Tsunade was just trying to get him
out of her office. He was slightly annoyed, because he knew that Sasuke wanted
to talk to her about becoming active again. But if she were impatient to get
them out, it was probably better to come back later when she would be more
likely to be charitable about things. "Fine, fine. We'll come back once I've
tested it out a bit. Let's go, Teme."
"No," Tsunade said, turning to look at Sasuke. "The Uchiha and I have a few
things to discuss, if I'm not mistaken."
Naruto's expression immediately turned wary.
"Then I'll stay as well," Naruto stated firmly.
"It's fine, Naruto," Sasuke's voice was completely calm. "Hokage-sama likely
has some questions for me."
"Sasuke -" Naruto began, his worry showing clearly in his voice.
"She's not the first Sanin I've had a private conversation with, Dobe. I don't
need you to stay and hold my hand."
Naruto opened his mouth to object again, but Tsunade cut him off.
"Brat, you're not Hokage yet. Now get out of here. I promise I'll return him to
you when we're finished."
Naruto really didn't want to leave the two of them alone. He wasn't sure how
firm Sasuke was in his decision to stay, and knew that Tsunade was often pretty
blunt and might end up really pissing Sasuke off without him here to diffuse
things. Plus, Sasuke almost never explained himself to people, and Naruto
usually ended up playing translator for what he actually meant.
"OUT!" Tsunade barked.
Naruto slowly turned and walked out, his pulse racing. "Teme… behave."
Sasuke just rolled his eyes. "Later, Dobe."
He exited the Hokage's office and found Sai standing there, waiting. As the
doors closed behind him, he could feel when Tsunade re-sealed the room so their
conversation couldn't be overheard.
"How are you today, Naruto?" Sai asked, his gaze going to Naruto's damaged hand
before returning to his face.
Naruto shrugged. "About to have a nervous breakdown, but otherwise OK, I
guess."
Sai smiled slightly. "He took care of you while you were unconscious. You were
right."
Naruto looked at him sharply, realizing that Sai must know what had happened
inside of Sasuke's home if he knew that much. "Yes. He's my friend."
Sai tilted his head to the side, studying him. "You care for him more than your
other friends, though."
Naruto shifted his feet, not wanting to lie to his friend, but not really
comfortable with the direction this conversation was going either. "Yes. He is…
my best friend."
The former Root nin looked puzzled. "But he tried to kill you. Multiple times.
And he abandoned you. How does that constitute a 'best friend'?"
Naruto chuckled. No matter how many times they had this conversation, Sai
wasn't satisfied with his explanation. Probably because Naruto didn't really
understand it either. He just knew it to be true. "Well, I never said we
weren't a bit fucked up. But… he was my friend before I was good at anything.
Now I'm useful to the village, and people tolerate me. But when Sasuke and I
first met, that wasn't the case."
Sai sighed. "People more than tolerate you, Naruto. But I still don't think I
understand friendship very well if this is what makes up best friends. But… I
am glad that at least you were right about him this time."
Naruto couldn't suppress the amusement at his friend's words. Sai had come far.
But he still had a ways to go.
"Baa-chan said I have to go train and see what my hand can handle. Do you want
to come with me?"
"No. I have something here I need to do first."
Naruto was used to the cryptic way the dark-haired nin spoke, and thought
nothing more of it as he went to the training field.
===============================================================================
Tsunade and Sasuke looked at each other for a moment in silence.
The Hokage tapped her nails together, clearly beginning to lose patience.
"I believe you have something you wish to ask me, young Uchiha."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Is it mine for the asking?"
Tsunade's lips twitched into a tiny smile. "Well, that would probably be too
easy. But let's hear what you are going to ask for, first."
"I want to rejoin active duty and be assigned to the same mission Naruto is
working on."
Tsunade leaned back, clearly not surprised at the audacious request. "Let me
get this straight. You - a rogue nin who left the village as a Genin and joined
the ranks first of the man who killed the Third Hokage, and thenjoined the
organization who destroyed the village - you are asking me to place you on a
mission that even the most loyal Jounin and Anbu members don't have access to?"
Sasuke's expression didn't fluctuate. "Yes. If you want me to rejoin the
village, that is my price."
"Hmm," Tsunade said, eying him critically. "When you say rejoin the village,
what exactly does that mean?"
Sasuke didn't hesitate. "It means I will take on whatever missions are assigned
to me, as long as they don't interfere with this mission."
"And you will serve the village? You will give your loyalty to Konoha?"
This time Sasuke did hesitate. "Naruto is going to be the next Hokage?"
Tsunade nodded slowly. "Yes."
"Then as long as that remains unchanged, I will give my loyalty to Konoha."
The amber eyes narrowed at him. "So what you're really saying is that you give
your loyalty to Naruto."
Sasuke simply stood there, looking at her. Waiting.
"Hm," she said again, though this time there was a small smile playing about
her lips. "I might be able to accept that. I could probably even make it so
that the role that you take once officially being deemed fit for duty would be
something that either reported to Naruto or involved serving as his protection,
as future Hokage."
Something flashed in Sasuke's eyes at her words but was gone before she could
read what it was.
"Of course, there is still the issue of your Genin status. Genin are not
allowed to serve in Anbu. And the next Chunin exams are almost a year away,
possibly more given the focus of most villages is on rebuilding after the war."
"Naruto never passed the Chunin exams either. Yet he is leading an Anbu
mission. You told him that his performance in the war was more of a test than
anything that would have been given to him in making Jounin, or even Anbu."
"Chatty little brat. He wasn't supposed to go telling people about that," she
said with a slight huff. "Well. I suppose I could make a similar exception in
your case. Though eventually we would have to formalize it, since you will be
longer term in your Anbu role than Naruto will be in his. Perhaps we can weave
it into your mission fit evaluation."
"Evaluation?"
Tsunade smiled with a hint of sadistic pleasure. "Yes. Kakashi should be back
from his mission tomorrow. Sakura and Naruto had to be evaluated by him when
they had completed their independent training. I believe it is only appropriate
that you do as well."
"Hn." Sasuke had mixed feelings about being evaluated by his old sensei. But he
supposed it was a necessary step. If he really were going to be back in the
village, he would have to deal with the ties from his past at some point.
"Though if he is going to tell me to come at him with intent to kill like he
did the first time, I suggest you have a successor lined up for his position."
Tsunade snorted. "Arrogant brat. Your combat skills aren't what I am concerned
about in this evaluation. Kakashi will be testing you on other things."
Sasuke looked at her warily, not sure what to make of that. If it were going to
be a test of loyalty, he had clearly failed that test years ago.
"Very well. Tomorrow you will be evaluated by Kakashi. Assuming he finds you
acceptable, I will assign you to the mission you requested."
Sasuke blinked. He really hadn't expected her to agree so quickly. "Why?"
Tsunade shot him a glare. "Powerful ninjas are both a risk and a liability to a
village. As you yourself have already proven. Without a purpose, you are a
danger to this village if you stay. But you would be even more of a danger if
you left, possibly allying yourself with one of our enemies. But aside from all
that, I selected Naruto to be my successor. That means I trust his judgment,
even though he is a complete brat when it comes to anything having to do with
you. He trusts you. So I will defer to his judgment on this. But you still have
to pass Kakashi's assessment."
Sasuke just stood there for a moment, unsure what to say or do. Orochimaru's
indoctrination and tests of loyalty had been… much more painful and thorough.
Though in the end, they had still failed.
"Now, get out of my office before I change my mind."
Sasuke inclined his head politely before turning to leave. "So I assume that
the restrictions on my using chakra have been lifted? I will need to train if I
am going to resume active duty."
Tsunade nodded tersely. "Yes. You may train, but only with Naruto. You'll find
him on one of the outer training fields. Unless he is using only taijutsu, he
never practices too close to the village. Now go find him before he destroys
one of my training grounds. I'm sure he's going crazy waiting to hear if you
ended up in jail or not after our conversation."
Sasuke didn't say anything but he didn't miss the trace of warmth and humor
behind her words. She had true affection and respect for Naruto.
And she hadn't been in the village when the decision about Itachi and his clan
had been made.
He could make his peace with working for her until Naruto became Hokage.
===============================================================================
Sasuke stepped out into the hallway as Shizune entered. He could hear the two
women speaking, but his attention was drawn to the dark-haired nin waiting for
him.
"You have decided to officially rejoin the village," Sai's voice seemed to hold
no opinion on the matter, but his eyes watched Sasuke carefully.
Sasuke ignored the statement and turned to leave, having no desire to spend any
time conversing with Sai. He wanted to find Naruto.
"If you're looking for Naruto, I'd check training field eighteen. That's where
he usually goes when he's nervous. The terrain is more challenging and requires
more focus."
Sasuke paused, turning to look back at Sai with a look of annoyance. "I don't
need your help to find Naruto. Just because you've spent the last couple of
years working with him, don't think you know him better than I do."
Sai smiled at him, making Sasuke's hackles rise. "I am his friend. I have
protected him from the damage that you have inflicted on him several times. You
should be aware that I still intend to do so."
"So you blocked my sword once. You don't really know that I would have struck
him. Or that he really would not have defended himself."
Sai tilted his head. "I blocked your blow. I know exactly how much force was
behind it, Uchiha. But that wasn't the only damage you inflicted on Naruto."
Sasuke sneered. "If you are talking about hurt feelings, then I don't want to
hear about it. That's between Naruto and me."
Sai shrugged. "I wouldn't know anything about hurt feelings. But I'm actually
talking about when he offered himself up to the Raikage's subordinates after
your attack on Killer B. Danzo had ordered your death to maintain peace with
the Land of Lightning. The Raikage had also issued an execution order for you.
Naruto tried to appease them by offering himself up as a substitute when he
refused to divulge any information about you to the Raikage's men. He was
nearly beaten to death because of your actions. He simply knelt there, letting
them beat him until I intervened and requested that they stop."
Sasuke froze, anger, fear, and disbelief temporarily making it impossible to
think. "He… WHAT?!"
"I couldn't really understand why he did that. I mean… you had joined an
organization that was dedicated to killing him by extracting the kyuubi from
him. It would be hard to not take that personally. And before that, you had
tried to kill him multiple times. Why would it bother him that the Raikage had
set an execution order for you? Clearly you had no concerns for Naruto's
existence. In fact, you were proactively supporting the people trying to end
it. It… made no sense to me. At first I thought it was because Sakura had
begged him to bring you back after you first left, and he had promised to do
so."
Sai's words snapped Sasuke out of his daze. His eyes narrowed. He had always
hated the way Naruto had fixated on Sakura. And he didn't want to think that
everything tied back to her. Was that why Naruto was holding back? Did he still
love Sakura? Was all this somehow… for her?
"But then when Sakura confessed her love to Naruto and told him she released
him from her promise and wanted only him, he pushed her away and told her he
wasn't doing it for her. I didn't understand," Sai looked puzzled.
Sasuke's eyes snapped to his. Sakura had… confessed? And Naruto rejected her?
"I still don't understand Naruto's definition of friendship. When his other
friends decided that - in the interest of peace with the Land of Lightning -
they had to take it on themselves to eliminate you, Naruto defied a direct
order to remain, tricking his captain and preventing Sakura and Kakashi from
carrying out their mission. Defying Danzo's direct orders. Though I guess since
he was dead, the risk of being called out for treason was reduced." Sai seemed
to shrug as though that were of no consequence.
Sasuke's mind was reeling. How dare Naruto do all this? Sasuke had never asked
for his help. Never wanted Naruto to risk something so incredibly foolishly all
for...
Sai's words cut off his spiraling thoughts. "Why did he do those things?" Sai's
question seemed an honest one.
Sasuke didn't know what to say. He was still in shock from everything Sai had
just told him.
"I don't know," Sasuke bit out, turning and walking away from Naruto's
teammate.
His fists clenched. He didn't know. But he was going to fucking find out. And
kick Naruto's ass when he did.
Sai watched him go, seemingly content with his reaction.
===============================================================================
to be continued…
I only was able to cover about 2/3rds of what I had planned in this chapter (I
didn't want to cut the lemon short, so that will be full in next chapter). If I
end up needing to post an alternate version of the next chapter on AO3 or
y!gal, I will let you know in the author's note at the beginning.
As for Itachi and the crow... there are tons of crows in Japan (and everywhere
else). So you can read what you'd like into the Tsukuyomi scene and the
aftermath. I won't be more explicit about it than I am here, but I will let it
be up to the readers on what it all means. I know what it is in my head.
Also… if there are particular things that you want Naruto and Sasuke to discuss
that were killing you during canon and I haven't covered yet, let me know what
they are and I will try to work them in. The Raikage thing and Sakura's
confession were huge for me, along with Itachi and Jiraiya's death and the Pein
battle.
And as a warning, I just was given an Xbox One (my man loves me LOL) and a new
version of Assassin's Creed. So... if updates slow down, that is why. BUT...
reviews do in fact guilt me into updating faster. Just so you
know.                    
***** On the forest floor *****
WARNING: 18+ WARNING: 18+ WARNING:18+ PLEASE READ THIS:This is HARD YAOI, which
means a full boy x boy sex. There will be inappropriate use of weapons and
sharingan. You won't miss much plot in this chapter, so if it bothers you,
PLEASE JUST SKIP this chapter and wait for the next update.
Author's note: Ok, so all your comments inspired me to update quickly. *hugs
you while eyeing Xbox wistfully*.
-xXx-
Sasuke left the Hokage tower, heading directly for training field 18. His mind
was sorting through the information Sai had given him. And what it meant.
He had been wondering why Naruto had been pulling back from sex after the first
time. Of course, the blond had been angry about the drugs, but it had seemed
like something more than that. After all, Sasuke had been clean that morning,
and Naruto had still pulled away.
Many ninjas avoided serious relationships, due to the occupational hazards
involved with being a ninja. It was hard to think about 'forever' when the life
expectancy was so short. And the village didn't have a good track record of
caring for its orphans if things went wrong. Sasuke could personally attest to
that. But even with all that, very few nins were celibate. The stress and
constant presence of death drove most to seek out lovers… to find some life
before they died.
Neither Naruto nor Sasuke had done so up to this point. But Sasuke would be
lying if he said he didn't like it. And saw no reason not to continue. But
Naruto had pulled back, leaving Sasuke confused and more than a little
frustrated. If they both enjoyed it, then why stop?
But Sai's words had him thinking, and things were clicking into place. People
didn't call him a genius for nothing.
The training ground Naruto apparently favored was the furthest from the
village. Sasuke stopped by his house and picked up his training gear. After he
beat the shit out of Naruto for being such an idiot, Sasuke wanted to make full
use of his newfound freedom to finally train.
He glanced at his pack, then added one more thing before heading out and
continuing on his way, anticipation thrumming through his body.
===============================================================================
Naruto had given up trying to calm his mind enough to go into sage mode. He
kept thinking of all the things Tsunade could say to piss Sasuke off and vice
versa, resulting in Sasuke leaving the village or attacking her and being
thrown in jail.
It was a long list.
"Stupid, stubborn asshole!" Naruto growled, unzipping his vest as the heat of
the day was already growing stronger. "Why couldn't they let me stay!"
He huffed out a breath before creating a massive rasengan and smashing it into
a nearby tree, sending it flying into a million splinters.
"Dammit!" Naruto shouted out his frustration at being shut out of one of the
most important turning points in his life. He supposed if Sasuke left, he'd
just hunt him down and drag him back again.
"Though that's always easier said than done," he mumbled to himself, thinking
that he probably should calm himself down enough to go into sage mode so that
if Sasuke diddecide to leave the village after talking with Tsunade, he would
have a better chance of finding him.
First he needed to burn off a bit more energy. He quickly made some hand seals
and several shadow clones appeared. A different time, he would experiment a bit
with combining the shadow clones with the teleportation jutsu, but first he
needed to make sure his chakra was stable enough to mess with that.
Remembering Tsunade's instruction (though he suspected it was just an excuse to
make him leave) to test his chakra abilities to see if they were stable, he
briefly eyed the clones before he began his sparring. There didn't appear to be
any flaws or instability in them, which was a good indicator that his chakra
was fine. The forbidden technique was sensitive to chakra fluctuations or low
chakra levels, making it a pretty good litmus test.
He was about to have them each create a rasengan when he suddenly felt a
familiar chakra flare behind him. Before he could even turn and look, he and
all his clones were flying through the air, the clones popping out of existence
as they were dispelled by the wall of force that struck them.
Naruto twisted his body in mid-air, re-aligning so he landed on the balls of
his feet, knees slightly bent in a defensive stance.
"The fuck, Teme! I said I wanted to practice the teleportation technique
against the rinnegan's 'push' technique, but I didn't mean for you to just show
up and spring it on me! I'm still trying to figure out how stable my chakra
is!"
Sasuke's rinnegan stayed trained on Naruto and tomoes appeared in both eyes,
indicating he had also activated his sharingan.
"And what did you find so far?" Sasuke's voice was deep and controlled, but
Naruto could sense the tightly coiled tension in the man.
Naruto knew better than to look Sasuke directly in the eye when his sharingan
was activated. He shifted his stance, focusing on Sasuke's legs and hands for
clues on what the nin was going to throw next.
"I was able to make a bunch of shadow clones no problem. At least until you
came up and rammed them all. I wanted to test it out a bit more before trying
the Hiraishin no Jutsu, since… ya know… it would suck to screw that up midway
through." Naruto smiled a little, trying to sense if Sasuke were angry with
him, or angry from his conversation with Tsunade. The expressionless face of
his friend gave nothing away, though Naruto wasn't able to look at it directly
in case Sasuke tried any other 'surprises'.
"So your chakra is stable. I didn't see any fluctuations or irregularities in
you or your clones."
"Yeah, seems like," Naruto fought the urge to rub the back of his head. He
still was getting a weird, aggressive vibe off Sasuke and it would be foolish
to let his guard down. "So… how did your conversation with Tsunade go?"
Sasuke stepped forward.
Naruto lowered his stance, his body coiled and poised to move as he
instinctively responded to the focused intensity of Sasuke's movements.
Sasuke's eyes were locked on him, and it took all of Naruto's willpower not to
foolishly meet their gaze.
"My discussion with Tsunade was fine. Kakashi will be evaluating me for mission
fitness tomorrow. If all goes well, I'll be assigned to the same mission you
are immediately."
Naruto blinked. "What? That was… a lot easier than I thought it would be. So
then… what's wrong? Was there a catch?"
Sasuke stepped forward again, his deliberate stride slow and unhurried. Naruto
felt a strange tension and uncertainty grown in him, unsure what was going
through Sasuke's mind.
"There is no catch. Evidently, she trusts your judgment." There was no
mistaking the slight anger that laced Sasuke's last word.
"Um… ok, so… what are you so pissed off about?"
"Sai was waiting for me when I got out of Tsunade's office."
Sasuke took another step towards Naruto.
Sasuke might be Naruto's friend, but there was no denying that he was also a
ruthless, powerful ninja. Naruto fought the urge to take a step back, but every
instinct was telling him to either attack or back the fuck away.
He did neither, standing his ground. If Sasuke wanted a fight, he would give it
to him. But he wouldn't be the one to start it without finding out what had set
him off in the first place.
"Look, I know you and Sai don't get along well," Naruto began placatingly. "But
give the guy a chance. I hated him when I first met him, too."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and his fingers moved in a slow articulation, not
exactly a seal but… Just as Naruto's mind was searching for where he'd seen
that motion before, he realized he couldn't move.
"But… I didn't look at your -" And then it hit him. Itachi had done the same
thing… casting a genjutsu without eye contact, using his hand instead. "Fuck,
Sasuke!"
Naruto strained, trying to force his body to obey his command to move, but the
only thing that he seemed to have control over was his head.
He watched as Sasuke calmly walked towards him, a smirk on his face. "You were
always weak against genjutsu, Dobe."
Naruto growled, then closed his eyes and tried to do what Jiraiya had taught
him. He stopped all chakra flow, and tried to reverse it and break the
genjutsu's hold.
He felt Sasuke's hold give only slightly before it was tightened again.
"Hn," Sasuke said, standing directly in front of Naruto. "That wasn't bad.
Probably against anyone other than an Uchiha, you would have broken free."
Naruto opened his eyes and glared at the arrogance in Sasuke's voice. There was
no point in avoiding eye contact now. He was already caught. "Bastard. Fine,
you won this round. Though you didn't even let me know we were gonna spar, but
whatever."
Sasuke took a final step forward, placing him an arm's reach in front of
Naruto. Which only served to underscore that Naruto couldn't move. Naruto's
glare intensified, causing Sasuke to smirk.
The way Sasuke looked at him was causing Naruto's heart rate to elevate. He
lied to himself and said it was from straining against the bastard's hold.
"So… you can let me go now, asshole. We can spar for real if you're up for it,"
Naruto tried to keep his thoughts focused on the prospect of sparring. And not
on heat that seemed to be building in him as Sasuke stood so close with a
dangerous light in his eyes.
Sasuke's gaze dropped to Naruto's mouth, and he slowly drew out his katana
without lifting his gaze. The sound of the blade being drawn made the palms of
Naruto's hands tingle. This was the same blade that Sasuke had nearly run him
through with when they'd found him at Orochimaru's lair. Naruto tried again to
break free of the genjutsu's hold to no avail.
"No, I don't think I will release you quite yet." Sasuke's voice was devoid of
all emotion.
He slowly drew the blade over the front of Naruto's shirt, slicing it through
with extreme precision, not scratching the hard, tan flesh beneath the fabric.
Naruto could smell the slight scent of Sasuke's sweat and heat. He felt a coil
of anticipation in his stomach that had nothing to do with the thrill of
battle. He noted vaguely that the weapon was missing the cloth wraps that
Sasuke usually kept around the handle to improve the grip.
"Asshole. This better just be a genjutsu. I don't have a lot of extra shirts,"
Naruto breathed out, hoping Sasuke took his shortness of breath as coming from
his straining against the genjutsu, not from the surge of lust that would have
made his knees buckle if he were able to move his body at all.
Sasuke raised his gaze from Naruto's chest to look directly in his eyes. "No,
this is real. Instead of giving you an artificial set of images in the
genjutsu, I am allowing you to see your surroundings as they are. The only
'false' part is that I've convinced your mind that it cannot control your body.
Therefore, you cannot move until I release you."
Sasuke tilted his wrist, allowing the blade to catch the fabric of one side of
Naruto's sliced shirt. He slowly pushed the fabric to the side, widening the
opening of the material until it was completely pulled off Naruto's right
shoulder along with the vest the blond had been wearing over it, the fabric
still hooked to the tip of Sasuke's blade.
Naruto wet his lips, forcing his voice to come out normally and ignoring the
heat that flared low in his belly at the blatantly sexual act of aggression.
"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?"
Sasuke kept the fabric caught on the tip of his katana as he walked around to
the side, pulling the shirt and vest completely free of Naruto's right arm. The
garments hung limply from his other shoulder, leaving Naruto feeling exposed
and increasingly turned on.
"Sai told me what you did after Danzo and the Raikage issued orders for my
death."
Naruto fought to keep his focus on Sasuke's words, rather than the sound of the
man's voice as it came from behind him. His chest was sheened with sweat as he
tried not to think about the fact that Sasuke was stripping him of his shirt in
the middle of the secluded training grounds. Sure, he had his katana pointed at
his back but… Sasuke was… stripping him.
He felt the cool brush of the blade against the bare skin of his back, and
would have arched at the erotic feel of it if he could.
His groin stirred. He tried to tell himself it was fucked up to get hard at the
touch of Sasuke's katana, but his dick wasn't interested in rational
discussion. He had always been drawn to Sasuke's power. It really should be no
surprise.
"W-what? The Raikage?" Naruto tried to focus. "Yeah, I mean, he was pissed at
me, and said a ninja shouldn't bow down so easily, even to beg for the life of
a friend but -"
Sasuke's blade nicked Naruto's shoulder. "You bowed down to the Raikage and
begged?!"
Naruto stopped. There were a lot of things Sai could have told Sasuke.  He
should probably shut up until he knew what had actually been said. "What did
Sai tell you?"
Sasuke walked back around so that he was once more standing in front of Naruto.
"That you offered yourself up as the personal punching bag for his subordinates
if they'd withdraw the execution order for me."
Naruto didn't really know what to say. It was true, if a little embarrassing
when put that way. But why would Sasuke be so angry?
Sasuke's eyes blazed with a swirl of other emotions that Naruto didn't know how
to read.
"Why would you do something like that? It wasn't any of your business,"
Sasuke's voice was hard.
If Naruto had been able to move his arms, he would have taken a swing at Sasuke
for that. Possibly with rasengan.
"Only because you wouldn't let it be my business. You made your own decision,
but I made mine."
"You knelt down for another land's kage? You let his subordinates almost beat
you to death! How the fuck did that solve anything?! What were you thinking!"
"I was thinking that I didn't want my friend to die for revenge! You wouldn't
listen to anything I said, and I… they… Sasuke they were going to kill your
stupid ass!"
Sasuke looked at Naruto for a moment. Then said calmly. "That's what happens,
Naruto. Ninjas die. I left the village. I was no longer under its protection.
You had no obligation to me."
"Teammates protect each other. I wasn't going to just sit back and do nothing."
Sasuke lifted his blade again, this time hooking the tip into the left shoulder
of Naruto's shirt, slowly pushing the fabric off to the side. "We weren't
teammates anymore. Sakura felt no such obligation. Neither did Kakashi. They
were both willing to kill me for my actions, and comply with Danzo and the
Raikage's edicts."
Naruto's eyes looked down as he watched the skilled motion of Sasuke's katana
divest him fully of his shirt and vest, flicking it off the blade so it landed
in a soft heap on the ground a few feet away.
"So?" Naruto forced the word out, not sure what he should pay attention to
more: Sasuke's katana, the words he was saying, or the heat and tension that
was pumping off the pale ninja's body.
"So… why did you do it?"
"I… I told you. You were my teammate. My friend."
"Hm," Sasuke said, skepticism tinging his tone. "You have a lot of friends.
Would you grovel for all of them? Give up your dream of becoming Hokage for all
of them?"
Naruto swallowed. He would do anything to help his friends. He would. But.
He would do more for Sasuke.
"I would always stand by my friends, Sasuke. You know that it's true."
Sasuke looked at him consideringly. "Being part of a ninja team means being
willing to sacrifice your own life for the sake of the mission… the sake of the
teammates that would need to carry out that mission. But there was no mission
here, Naruto. There was no team."
"I…" Naruto let his eyes flutter closed as the tip of Sasuke's blade trailed
down over Naruto's navel, tracing along the fine line of hair that ended at the
top of his Anbu issue pants. He could feel himself getting hard. He wondered if
Sasuke could tell… though it was beginning to seem like that was the whole
point. He was pretty sure Sasuke didn't bother to slice the clothes off the
people he killed as a general practice. It wouldn't be efficient.
"Surely you don't expect me to believe that - as Hokage - you will sacrifice
yourself for every ninja in the village who fails in a mission or goes astray.
It would be the shortest reign ever. And you would accomplish nothing in the
end."
Sasuke's composure began to piss Naruto off. His eyes flared open, and he
glared at Sasuke, not noticing when the tip of the katana moved down one
centimeter, neatly slicing the button off his pants
"I'm not stupid. I lived through the same war you did, Sasuke. I'm not naive. I
know people die." He tried not to think of Neji, and all the others that had
been lost.
Sasuke's hand was steady as he held the blade still. "Then? Why me? You always
avoid answering that question. But I think you know the answer."
Naruto met Sasuke's gaze. He wasn't able to read anything in the swirling
depths. There was no way in hell he was going to confess like some girl when he
had no idea what Sasuke's reaction would be. Especially not when he was at the
wrong end of Sasuke's sword and unable to move. "If you already think you know,
then why are you asking me? I thought you'd be sick of hearing those kinds of
things by now."
Sasuke shrugged slightly.
"I'm tired of hearing the ones that don't matter from people who don't know
me."
Naruto's breath stilled and his eyes widened. Sasuke never admitted that Naruto
really knew him.
"Sasuke -"
Sasuke's gaze seemed to intensify, if that were even possible. Naruto could see
a thin sheen of sweat on Sasuke's forearm as it held the blade.
"You know what I've done Naruto. I know Tsunade would have kept you in the loop
about the reports on me. I served under Orochimaru. I worked with the Akatsuki.
I'm not the same boy you knew before I left. I'm not making excuses for any of
it. I did what they say I did."
Naruto didn't flinch from the darkness he saw in Sasuke's eyes. He wasn't
repulsed by it. If anything, it drew him with an urge to protect him even more
than if Sasuke had been an innocent. "You're not the only one with darkness in
you, Sasuke. And that's not all that there is inside you."
"My darkness runs deeper than yours, Naruto. Even you must realize that by
now."
"Does it?" Naruto thought back to the waterfall, when he'd met his darker self.
He knew the seeds of darkness in himself ran deep, despite the fact that he'd
defeated them for that moment. "We chose different paths. But we're the same
inside."
Sasuke's expression was unchanged, but Naruto sensed a vulnerability in him. In
all his years of pursuing Sasuke, it had never occurred to him that there might
come a time when Sasuke was the one who felt unworthy. Unsure.
"But you were right. With what you said," Naruto drew a breath to force the
words out.
Sasuke's body went rigid, and Naruto realized Sasuke was misunderstanding him.
"The other night, too. You were right. I have other friends, Sasuke. But… it
isn't the same. I… for me, you always come first. There's never been even a
close second."
Sasuke's hand tightened convulsively around the handle of his katana at the
words.
"Even if you had damaged your standing with the village to the point where you
lost your chance at becoming Hokage?"
Naruto swallowed. He had been aware of the risk at the time. But being Hokage
had been meaningless without Sasuke. "Yes. Even then. I didn't want it if you
weren't with me. I still don't."
How can I become Hokage if I can't even save one friend?
The words from a different confrontation echoed through both their minds.
Sasuke's tongue darted out, wetting his lower lip.
It wasn't much of a confession. But other words felt empty or overly flowery.
Seeing the subtle shift in Sasuke's body, Naruto realized it had been enough.
Without taking his eyes from Naruto, Sasuke slowly removed the pack from his
waist, setting it on the ground beside his feet.
"Tsunade told me I could stay, but only if I would swear loyalty to the
village."
Naruto's breath caught at Sasuke's words. There was no way in hell Sasuke would
have agreed to that. Not after everything that had happened.
"It's an obvious requirement for members of Anbu," Sasuke said conversationally
as he slowly traced his katana down the front of Naruto's thigh, not applying
enough pressure to cut the fabric.
Naruto fought to stay focused on Sasuke's words, but he felt the electric heat
spark along his body where Sasuke's blade touched him like a caress.
"What did you tell her?"
The motion of Sasuke's blade stilled on Naruto's leg, then continued its
journey back up to the waistband of his pants.
"I told her that as long as you were going to be the next Hokage, I would serve
the village."
Naruto felt his pulse quicken. There was no way to mistake the implication of
Sasuke's statement. He thought briefly of what it would mean to be Hokage and
have Sasuke serving under him, but jerked his mind back from those thoughts
before he went too far. Those were dangerous fantasies to be having about a man
with a katana an inch from his dick.
"Really?" Naruto's voice was strained, his whole body feeling hot, his skin too
tight. He had a visceral need to touch the man in front of him, but his body
remained frustratingly immobile.
"Hn," the dark amusement in Sasuke's eyes told Naruto his short-circuited
fantasy had been caught. And interestingly… not rejected.
Naruto felt himself harden further, his arousal painful against the stiff
fabric of his pants.
Sasuke slowly brought the blade down, the tip of it clicking along the tines of
the metal zipper, the sound oddly erotic in the silence of the wooded training
field, heightened by the danger of the proximity of the sharp blade to Naruto's
cock.
"So why have you been pulling back from me?" Sasuke asked his gaze lingering
slightly on the front of Naruto's trousers where the hard ridge of the blond's
arousal was fully evident. "We've already had sex. You admit you feel more than
friendship for me. And you clearly still want me."
Naruto tried to keep some blood in his brain, but it was hard. "Fuck, Sasuke!
Release this goddam genjutsu already!"
Sasuke smirked. "Not yet. Answer the question."
"I… I just… I don't know what you want. I know people do stuff when they're on
drugs that they wouldn't normally do. Stuff that they don't really want to do.
I just… I wanted to give you time to figure out what you want. And not... push
you. Or use you."
Sasuke let the tip of his tongue peek out from between his pink lips as he
increased the pressure of his blade just slightly, cutting along the edge of
Naruto's zipper. The future Hokage would have flinched if it were possible.
Naruto bit his lip as his erection sprung free from his trousers, the skin
blessedly intact. Sasuke used the sides of the blade to push the fabric down
around Naruto's thighs.
In that moment, Naruto would have sold his soul to have use of his arms to grab
Sasuke and kiss him. As it was, all he could do was tip his head back in
frustrated arousal.
"Goddammit, Sasuke!"
Sasuke re-sheathed his katana, then slowly circled around Naruto, his fully
clothed body brushing softly against Naruto's bare flesh.
"You can't move, right, Dobe?"
Naruto cursed under his breath. "Of course I can't fucking move!"
"Then there is no way that you are forcing me or pressuring me into doing
something I don't want right now."
Naruto's anger instantly vanished. He simply stood, his breathing sounding
harsh in the forest.
"In fact, I am in complete control of this situation," Sasuke continued, his
voice deceptively calm.
Naruto felt his erection harden and lift further, his balls already tightening
as though he might cum from the dark, seductive words coming from Sasuke's
mouth.
"I can do... whatever I want to you."
He could feel his cock jump at the words. The fact that that one appendage in
his body was the one part that was able to move somewhat voluntarily aside from
his head made his face flush in a sudden realization. "Oh my god! You fucking
pervert! You gave me my mouth, my eyes, and my cock, didn't you?"
His eyes shut tightly when Sasuke's hand wrapped around his dick in a firm
grasp that was almost painful against his heavily aroused flesh.
"Those were the parts I was most interested in for this conversation."
Naruto's eyes widened as he realized the implication. "You.. you planned this
from when you first cast the genjutsu?"
Sasuke's wrist changed the angle of his grasp as he began to stroke Naruto at
an agonizingly slow pace. "I planned this from the instant I stepped out of the
Hokage Tower."
Naruto tried to formulate a reply but Sasuke's mouth closed over his. Naruto
breathed into the wet heat, loving the taste and feel of Sasuke's lips and
tongue as it delved into his mouth. He growled slightly as he felt hands slide
over the muscles of his back and dig into the tight mounds of his ass.
Naruto pulled back. "Sasuke, fuck! I get it already. Now let me go! God, let me
touch you!"
Sasuke bit Naruto's lower lip hard enough to draw blood in punishment for
pulling away from their kiss. "What do you 'get', Naruto?"
Sasuke ran his tongue over Naruto's damaged lip before trailing his lips over
Naruto's jaw line.
"I… I…," Naruto drew a breath, trying to clear his mind enough to answer the
question. "Dammit, bastard. Stop with the head games. I get that you're ok with
this."
Sasuke shot him a look that didn't look pleased at the answer, and he bit down
on Naruto's shoulder.
"Ahh! Shit!"
The pale ninja grabbed Naruto's hand, placing it against the erection straining
in his own pants. "Does this feel like I'm just 'ok' with this?"
Sasuke rubbed Naruto's hand over his clothed cock, his breathing turning harsh
before he stepped back, breaking the contact. Naruto thought he would lose his
mind in frustration when he still couldn't move his hands or do anything to
continue that touch.
"You're going to have to release me sometime, bastard. And I'm warning you
right now that I am going to kill you for this the instant you do."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Not this time," Sasuke stood back and slowly unzipped his shirt. Naruto
followed the motion of the pale hands hungrily with his eyes. Sasuke felt the
intensity of the gaze as he slowly slid the fabric off his shoulders, letting
it pool to the ground at his feet.
The villagers might look at him with hatred, but their hero looked at him with
unrelenting hunger.
Naruto's breath was coming fast, as though they were sparring as Sasuke's hands
dropped to the purple obi he always wore and began to untie it. Naruto didn't
think he would be able to lift his gaze from the sight if the village were
attacked by a resurrected Madara right then.
All thoughts were erased when Sasuke pushed the belt and fabric down, standing
before Naruto completely naked and heavily aroused. The dappled light scattered
across his pale skin as it filtered through the leaves overhead. All Naruto
could do was swallow as Sasuke took a deliberate step towards him until their
bodies were almost touching. Naruto strained with all his might to be able to
move and bring their bodies that last millimeter so their skin would meet.
Sasuke let his eyes roam over Naruto's body, the tan skin sheened with sweat
and toned muscles rigid with frustrated desire. The answering hunger in
Sasuke's eyes was as unmistakable as the enjoyment in them at Naruto's
frustration.
"Fucking bastard. Enjoy it while you can," Naruto growled.
"I fully intend to," was Sasuke's reply as he slowly traced his fingertips over
Naruto's chest, thumbing the nipples that pebbled instantly to hardness at the
touch. "You've had it your way mostly up until now. It's my turn."
Naruto shuddered at the words. He may or may not have had some heated fantasies
about Sasuke binding him in some way and having his way with him, but he'd
never imagined it would really happen. Something hot and hard brushed against
his belly, and he didn't need to look down to know that it was Sasuke's
erection. It made Naruto slightly crazy to think about how turned on Sasuke
was. For him. With no drugs, no alcohol… no trauma to hide from. Just him.
Sasuke's eyes were sharp and intent, no hazing from anything other than lust.
The pale ninja gripped Naruto around the waist, allowing their erections to
finally come in contact, making both men groan slightly.
Sasuke reveled in the feeling of power that he had. The village might scorn
him, might hate and fear him, but he had the future Hokage at his mercy, hard
and almost begging for him. It made him want to laugh whenever he saw the way
they looked at him. But in the end they didn't matter. The only person Sasuke
cared about in the whole village was here in front of him, completely focused
on only him.
He thought about the words Naruto had said earlier. He had told Sasuke that he
always came first. Sasuke supposed he could live with that. For him it wasn't a
matter of Naruto coming first. For him, there was only Naruto. He wondered if
the was what the Second was talking about when he had talked about the strength
and weakness of the Sharingan holders, but he wouldn't think about that now.
But there was one thing that he would need to clarify before things continued.
"I don't share well, Naruto."
Naruto's eyes bore into his, possessive desire clear within the blue depths. "I
don't either. Not with you."
Sasuke nodded before bringing their mouths together in a heated, open-mouthed
kiss. Their teeth clicked against each other as their tongues thrust together.
Aggression, obsession, and possessiveness fused their mouths together, sealing
their promise.
Sasuke traced his lips down to the tan chest, his tongue teasing Naruto's
nipple the way the blond had done to him before. The sharp breath that was torn
from Naruto's mouth would have made him smile if his lips weren't busy with
their current task.
He was becoming frustrated with the fact that Naruto's hips remained still, but
there was one thing he wanted to do before releasing the genjutsu. He slowly
sunk to his knees, keeping his eyes locked on Naruto's.
"Holy shit, Sasuke," Naruto closed his eyes halfway, fighting to keep them open
and not miss the sight of Sasuke on his knees before him.
The perfect lips ghosted over the weeping head of his erection, and Naruto's
lungs seized.
"This is payback for the time in my shower."
Naruto's breathing hitched as Sasuke moved his lips along the length of his
shaft, before his fingers closed around the base. His lips moved down to pull
one of Naruto's balls into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the orb. The
sound that emerged out of Naruto's mouth was somewhere between a groan and a
whine, and it made Sasuke's dick swell even more.
He pumped his hand over the length of Naruto's arousal, shifting his mouth to
fondle the other testicle.
"If this ends up all being a genjutsu I will kill you, bastard," Naruto panted,
not caring that he had said almost the opposite just a few minutes ago.
Rational thought was beyond him for the time being.
Sasuke only hummed before pulling down on Naruto's cock and swirling his tongue
over the head before closing his lips around the tip and sucking hard enough to
make Naruto's eyes roll back in his head. The veins stood out in Naruto's arms
as he strained trying to get them to move so he could plunge them into the
black locks and force Sasuke's sinful mouth to go lower and take more of him
in.
As if reading his mind, Naruto suddenly found his body released from the
genjutsu. All thoughts of anger for the way Sasuke had trapped him had long
been forgotten as Sasuke picked up the pace and suction. All Naruto could do
was drive his fingers into Sasuke's hair and groan. He never, ever thought
Sasuke would actually do this in real life. He didn't notice when Sasuke
reached to the pile of clothing that was on the ground beside them and took out
a small jar.
He did notice when Sasuke's lubed finger slid into his entrance.
"Wha-, ungh!"
A particularly hard suck distracted Naruto from what he had been going to ask.
"I told you it was my turn this time," Sasuke's low voice brushed warm air over
his nearly bursting erection. Sasuke's usually stoic, pale lips were slightly
swollen and flushed a deep, carnal pink, shiny with saliva and precum.
The sight made Naruto reel with lust.
This man was his. He felt a resonant growl deep within his chest at the
thought. It didn't help things when Sasuke's mouth returned to his dick, the
fast-learning tongue flicking across the head of his cock and making short work
of Naruto's ability to do anything other than respond. The blood was pounding
so hard through Naruto's body that all he could hear was the rush of it in his
ears.
Sasuke inserted a second lubed finger, slowly stretching Naruto the way the
blond had done to him. When Sasuke fully extended his middle finger and began
rubbing deeper inside, Naruto' world contracted to just that point.
"Sasuke!" Naruto cried out as he came, his knees buckling with the force of his
orgasm.
He blinked up a few moments later to find himself flat on his back with Sasuke
between his thighs nuzzling his stomach. He could feel the hard, hot length of
Sasuke's erection brushing against the inside of his thigh as a third finger
was added to further stretch his now relaxed muscles.
"Naruto," Sasuke's words ghosted across the sweat-slicked skin of Naruto's abs.
Sasuke raised his head and looked down at his lover, seeing the glazed-over
look in the deep blue eyes. His hands shook as he leaned back down, brushing
his lips against Naruto's, pressing them open and thrusting his tongue in. He
felt the wet slide of Naruto's tongue against his own, and shuddered. His
erection was aching.
Naruto slid his hands over the contours of Sasuke's back, feeling the way the
muscles flexed under his fingertips. "Now who's a scardy-cat?" Naruto taunted,
feeling Sasuke's hesitation.
Sasuke growled, his hands moving with lightning speed to grip Naruto's wrists
and pin them up over his head. "Don't."
Sasuke held Naruto pinned as he tried to get himself under control. His whole
body was shaking with need. It had been building from the first time Naruto had
set foot in his house, when he was almost passed out drunk. He'd been drowning
in darkness.
Naruto was the one thing that mattered to him. The only thing he had left.
He felt Naruto's body tense beneath him, and found his hands slowly being
pushed back. He look down to see Naruto's smug grin. "You're not going to be
able to beat me with brute strength, bastard."
Sasuke groaned as he felt the raw power of the man beneath him. "Next time… I
want to fuck you when you're in sage mode."
"Oh, god, fuck! Move your ass, Uchiha or I'm flipping you over and taking
revenge from - ahn, shit!"
Naruto felt something cool, slick and smooth thrust into him. Given that Sasuke
was still kneeling between his legs, he realize hazily that it wasn't his dick.
"What -?" He glanced down to see that Sasuke had trust the smooth, rounded,
evidently heavily lubed hilt of his katana into him, and was now slowly
beginning to move it, fucking him with it. "Holy… god, fucking shit Sasuke you
kinky bastard!"
Naruto vaguely remembered Jiraiya saying it was always the quiet ones.
Sasuke smiled darkly and simply changed the angle, brushing the cold metal
against Naruto's prostate, causing him to arch up like a bow stretched taut.
Sasuke looked down at the tightly muscled body drawn out beneath him and felt
his composure crack. He had wanted to spend more time teasing his lover, but
the need to feel his own flesh penetrate Naruto rather than the hilt of his
sword nearly overwhelmed him.
He loved the strength of Naruto's body, the almost unbreakable nature of him,
since gentleness had long ago left Sasuke's physical vocabulary. He loved the
way Naruto showed no fear regardless of the odds, never backing down. He loved
the way he never gave up, because god knows anyone else would have done so with
Sasuke long ago. He realized Naruto's words from the other day were true for
him, too. Naruto was the only one strong enough to pull him back when he got
too close to the edge.
He withdrew his sword, tossing it aside before levering himself over Naruto's
body, positioning himself between the tan thighs. His eyes glinted.
"Tsunade gave me permission to spar with you for training. Winner gets
control?"
The thought of fucking Sasuke after sparring with him almost made Naruto cum on
the spot.
"I won this time," Sasuke shifted, gripping Naruto's hips with one and lining
up his erection with the other.
"Fuck you! I wasn't even -" Naruto cut off as Sasuke drove in, his eyes
widening and his mouth frozen at the intensity of the sensation, Sasuke's heat
and girth a sharp contrast to the narrow hilt of his sword.
"Oh, fuck!" Sasuke momentarily forgot to breathe. He'd never felt anything like
the tight heat clutched around him. How had he gone this long without knowing
this? He forced himself to pause and give Naruto time to adjust rather than
just pounding into him the way his body was screaming for him to do. His
breathing came in harsh gasps and he lowered his head to rest on Naruto's chest
as he wrestled for control of himself.
"N-Naruto…," Sasuke didn't know what to ask, but he didn't know how much longer
he could hold out.
Naruto wrapped his legs around Sasuke's waist and pulled him even deeper,
making them both groan. "Don't stop."
Sasuke's abs clenched at the huskiness in Naruto's voice. He pulled out slowly,
then thrust harshly back in, the bones in his hips slamming against the muscles
in Naruto's ass as he was sheathed fully again.
"Fuck, Naruto… shit!" Sasuke repeated the movement, lost in the intensity of
the sensation that was shooting up from his cock and radiating throughout his
entire body.
Naruto looked up at Sasuke's face, seeing it twisted in ecstasy, dark eyes
half-closed and glazed with lust as they looked down on him. "Sasuke… ah…
again…"
Sasuke lifted Naruto's hips slightly to adjust the angle and thrust again, then
again, until he found an angle that had Naruto's nails elongating, his body
bowing up in pleasure. "Fuck, right there!"
Naruto's nails dug into Sasuke's back drawing blood, and Sasuke felt all
control shatter as his hips snapped forward again and again with ruthless
intensity.
"Ah, god! Yes! Fuck!" Naruto's throaty voice seemed to wrap around Sasuke's
senses, blinding him to any other sound.
"Naruto… ahn!"
Naruto's hands slipped from his back to grip around the hard muscles of
Sasuke's biceps as his lover continued to pound into him with brutal force. The
world around them vanished. Nothing existed except the slick, wet heat and
wicked friction between their bodies.
Sasuke felt a coil of pleasure low in his belly, and his balls tightened. He
made barely three more thrusts before he came, his orgasm hitting him so hard
that his entire body locked up as Naruto's name was torn from his throat.
The sight of Sasuke losing himself filled Naruto's field of vision as he came a
moment later. "Sasuke!"
Sasuke's hips continued to flex as he rode out the final aftershock of his
orgasm before collapsing on the forest floor beside Naruto.
They lay there, bodies slick with sweat, breathing heavily. Naruto didn't take
his gaze from Sasuke's face, their eyes locked together. Slowly, Naruto reached
over and brushed a strand of hair from Sasuke's cheek. A pale hand reached up,
locking around the tan fingers, holding them tightly. The harsh grip was
returned, the meaning understood.
Neither was ever letting go.
===============================================================================
to be continued…
Next chapter will have Kakashi's test, plus a reunion with the Rookie 9 (-
1 *cries*). Since this chapter ended up being all lemon, there will end up
being (I think) 23 chapters instead of 22.
While some of the characters in the next chapter will have a role in the final
few chaps of the fic, I will only have one chapter 'dedicated' to the Rookie 9
+ 3 - 1 (is anyone else a big enough canon nerd to know what I mean by that?
LOL) since this story is mostly about Naruto and Sasuke (if there is a sequel
about Sasuke 'settling in to the village', obviously there would be more
development here). SO if there are certain things/issues you are curious about,
please tell me know so I can see if I can work it in. This chapter will take
longer to write because it is more complicated with so many different people in
it and I want to get their characters right. Not everyone will figure out
immediately that Sasuke and Naruto are romantically involved, but ofc there are
some who definitely will (can you guess who?). Also, Kakashi and Sasuke have
had a complex relationship in the past, so - again - if there are particular
elements of that you are jonsing to see get discussed, let me know!
(and as a 'safety note', the only reason the handle of a katana is safe to use
thatway is that - once the leather or cloth grip is removed - traditional
katana handles are smooth and rounded, with no ridges or pointed edges that
would make it dangerous as a toy so like... not just ANY blade handle should be
used in this way)
***** Procedures, tests, and teammates *****
Summary:The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his
defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As
his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try
a different treatment method. Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). Post manga
chapter 693. 
Author's note:This chapter was so much harder to write because it involved so
many other characters, and all the characters in the manga are complex and have
their own back-story and issues and GAH! I am not going to resolve all of them
in this fic. But I put in two of the ones I thought were most important here,
which were Shikamaru and Kakashi. Thanks to SweetHeaven for sanity checking my
Kakashi. And here is yet another monster chapter!
-xXx-
Chapter 21 -  Kakashi’s test and The Rookie 9
Sasuke’s sleep had been deep and dreamless.  He lay in bed, his body feeling
tired and slightly sore, but completely relaxed.  He turned his head slightly
to observe the man slumbering next to him.  Up until very recently, the only
close touches he had engaged in with someone else had been in combat.  Sex had
elements that were similar to combat, though he supposed that could be more
because of who he and Naruto were rather than something innate in the act
itself.
But there was something… calming about the act, the feeling he had when his
body was coming down from the post-climax high.  He thought through what he
knew of the chemistry of the brain: endorphins, pheromones, adrenaline.  He
supposed they explained what he was feeling.  Though the intensity was
unexpected.
He tried to remember the last time he had felt so calm and… almost peaceful.
 Not since he was a small child.  But even then, he had felt the pressure of
not really being enough in his father’s eyes.  The pressure of living in
Itachi’s shadow.  Of always struggling to get attention and praise from his
parents.
The contentment he felt now was… fuller.  Different.  Both intensely volatile
and solidly stable in a way that he couldn’t explain, but was somehow centered
in the man sleeping next to him.  
The shadows of his past would always haunt him.  Both of them.  But just in
this moment, he felt like he might actually be able to survive them.  
After yesterday, there was no doubt that Sasuke was not second in Naruto’s
eyes.  Naruto saw Sasuke’s flaws.  And accepted him anyway.  Needed him, even.
 It felt odd, to be needed as something other than a tool of destruction.
Hesitantly, he reached toward Naruto’s sleeping form, slowly wrapping an arm
around the warm, solid body, pulling him close so they rested softly together
as he drifted back to sleep.
===============================================================================
 
“We need to go talk to Tsunade first,” Naruto said after swallowing his rice
porridge as they sat together on the futon in Sasuke’s house, eating their
breakfast.  They hadn’t had a chance to replace the furniture yet in either of
their apartments, but today wasn’t likely to be the day that happened either.
 “She wanted to fix my arm today.  Then, I guess you’ll go play tag with
Kakashi.”
Naruto smiled, but Sasuke could tell that he was nervous.
“She said it wasn’t a combat test.”
Naruto shrugged, taking another bite.  “If it were combat, I wouldn’t be
worried.”
Sasuke’s lips twitched into a small smile of acknowledgment at Naruto’s
compliment.  The only person in the village who could challenge him in combat
was eating breakfast with him. And the penalty for losing was… almost as
interesting as the prize for winning.
“So what are you worried about?”  Sasuke asked, pushing those thoughts aside
for later.
“I don’t know.  Sakura’s and my test with Kakashi was a combat skill
assessment.  I just… I don’t know what kind of test this will be.  I’m sure
you’ll be fine.”
“Hn,” Sasuke went back to finishing his own food.  There was no point in
worrying.  Tsunade had already basically accepted him.  Kakashi would have to
have an extremely strong reason to deem him unfit.  Sasuke had a feeling this
was going to be about something else, but he would have to wait to find out.
The two boys finished their meal efficiently, then took their dishes to the
sink.  Sasuke washed while Naruto dried, the two deadly shinobis falling easily
into a simple, domestic rhythm together without even noticing.
They each grabbed their gear, then Naruto teleported them directly to Tsunade’s
office.  He had no desire to walk through the village today.  Sasuke might not
mind the glares, but Naruto didn’t want to deal with them.
Tsunade looked up from her paperwork as Naruto and Sasuke appeared in her
office at the appointed time.  “Kakashi arrived last night.  He will be joining
us shortly.”
Naruto bit his lip and shifted slightly, showing his nerves.  Sasuke nearly
rolled his eyes.  Naruto might be the strongest ninja in the village, but he
still had a shit poker face.
“Why is this even necessary?”  Naruto huffed.  “Sasuke fought on our side
during the war.  The decision was already made to pardon him, given all the
shit that started this and his help defeating Madara.  It’s not like he’s going
to learn things about us that he didn’t already know by joining Anbu.  He
probably has more ‘secret techniques’ than we do at this point.”
Tsunade simply arched a brow.  “I am not worried about techniques.  Or his
level of skill.”
“Then what?!” Naruto’s voice rose slightly, but the panicked note in it kept
Tsunade from losing her temper.  She knew Naruto was afraid of what would
happen if Sasuke somehow failed the test. “Why do we need Kakashi to assess him
if you agreed that he could join Anbu?”
“Naruto,” Sasuke’s voice was low and calm.  “It’s fine.  Even you had to pass a
test to be placed in active ranks.  I expected at least this much.”
Naruto fidgeted, knowing Sasuke was right but not liking it.
“Just don’t fail, asshole,” Naruto said reluctantly.
“Pft.  If they let you pass, then it can’t be that hard,” Sasuke said with a
smirk.
Naruto smiled despite himself.  “Jerk.”
“Hn.”
“Ok, boys.  If you’re done playing, we need to discuss the matter of Naruto’s
hand,” Tsunade stated.  “While Naruto’s body has shown remarkable stamina
keeping up with damage the seal is doing, it will slowly reach evenhis limits
of healing.  We’ve been lucky that no Hyuuga has seen him over the past week to
notice something is off.  The discoloration is getting more pronounced, and
soon people will wonder just what sort of mission he was on that he received
this type of injury.  There is also a chance that some of the supporters of the
council could be familiar with the seal and might recognize its effects.
 Naruto has been out of public sight mostly since he’s been with you,” she
nodded at Sasuke, “But people have already begun to ask about him.  We can’t
put off the second healing attempt any longer.”
She opened the door and Sai and Shizune entered.  Naruto noticed that Sai’s
appraisal of Sasuke was much less hostile than it had been the other day, and
he wondered about it.
“Sai.  I need you to bring Naruto up to speed on what you found out about the
seal,” Tsunade’s voice gave Naruto pause, and he looked over at her.  Her face
appeared calm as always, but there was a trace of worry in her eyes.
“I spent yesterday and last night looking through my notes from the last time
you built the seal,” Sai began.  “And I remembered what you said about needing
to ‘set it’.  I realized that the seal’s first chakra spike actually did two
things.  For most people, it simply killed them by overloading their system.
 But it also embedded chakra into all the cells in contacted, disrupting the
natural chakra flow.  The second phase of the seal triggered those to damage
the chakra networks, and the third piece drained the chakra.  In order to
safely counteract the last two parts, we have to first extract the chakra from
the cells that were contaminated.  Danzo had another seal that did this. He
used it in torture scenarios.  It will be quite painful, and it will damage
your hand quite severely.”
“Ok,” Naruto said, swallowing.  Something that Danzo dreamed up for torture
purposes was likely to pretty much suck.  “But… my hand will heal then, right?”
“Yes,” Tsunade assurance was tempered by the grave tone of her voice. “Because
of Kurama’s healing abilities, your hand will recover but it will likely take
much longer to do so than usual.  The type of damage that this seal will
inflict will be of a similar type to what you did to yourself the first time
you used the rasen-shuriken on Kakuzu.  It is damage on the cellular level.”
“There’s no way to avoid it? No other approach?” Sasuke asked, his voice tense.
“Unfortunately, no,” Tsunade replied.  “The seal was very thoroughly planned
out.  Danzo made sure that it would be irreversible.  It’s only the fact that
Naruto has fully merged his chakra with Kurama’s that makes this even possible
without killing him.”
Sasuke looked down at Naruto.  “I could look through some more books.  You
could stay at my place where no one would see you. There may be less risky
approaches to -”
“No.  It’s fine,” Naruto said, meeting Sasuke’s gaze steadily.  “I mean… it
can’t be worse than what we went through with Madara the Juubi, so… I’ll be
good.  I don’t want to delay the mission any more than it already has been.
 Even the smallest leak and the people we are planning to go after would just
disappear. It’s not worth the risk just to avoid a little pain.” Naruto looked
over at Sai.  “How long will the extraction part last?”
“About fifteen minutes,” Sai said. He paused a moment, then added.  “It will be
difficult, Naruto.  I have seen this technique applied.”
“If my hand is going to be visibly damaged for that amount of time, we will
have to think of some sort of cover story to tell people,” Naruto said, trying
to ignore Sai’s words as much as possible.  With torture, the anticipation was
often worse than the reality.  The pain would be what it would be.  There was
no point thinking about it too much in advance.
“You can tell them you got it helping Kakashi search for Yamato,” Shizune
suggested.
Naruto nodded.  After the war, there had been no sign of the former Anbu
captain, but there was hope he was still alive.  Kakashi had been searching,
and hopefully would arrive with good news.  The idea of a cover story reminded
Naruto that there was a lot of information that had been withheld from people.
“Baa-chan, if Sasuke is going to be joining active duty again, I will need to
inform a few people about some of the back-story on this.  No one blames Sasuke
for killing Orochimaru or Itachi,” Sasuke’s body tensed at the words, but
Naruto was continuing.  “But they think he killed Danzo and attacked the kage
summit for no reason, or on Akatsuki orders.  Until we explain about why he
killed Danzo, they will view him as a traitor.  We agreed to keep this under
wraps until we had collected all the evidence, but there has to be a way to at
least bring some of this out.”
Tsunade considered.
“You cannot discuss the active part of the investigation.  There can be no hint
that the trail didn’t die with the council. No one can suspect that we know
there were other, more powerful people involved.”
Naruto nodded.  “I don’t need to say anything about that.  I won’t even need to
tell everyone.  If the shinobi in our class accept Sasuke, then the others will
likely follow along.  Sasuke never attacked the village directly, and he fought
on our side during the war.  If our class accepts him, then the others will as
well.”
Tsunade tapped her nail against the surface of her desk as she weighed the
options.  His class would be the hardest to convince, because they had suffered
the most when Sasuke had left.  But she trusted Naruto to be able to handle
them.  
“Fine.  Go ahead and tell them what you need to.  But you should start first
with Nara, since he is less likely to settle for a partial answer.  We might as
well bring him fully on board, so he can help us strategize our next phase.”
That left only one other consideration to address.
“What about Itachi’s wish that the name of the Uchiha clan not be destroyed by
revealing the coup plot and the real reason behind the massacre?”  Tsunade
asked, looking at Sasuke.  He was the sole surviving member of his clan… she
would leave it in his hands.
Sasuke shrugged.  He wasn’t going to make excuses for his actions.  He knew on
some level that the other shinobi in the village would need to accept him if he
were really going to stay, but he felt no personal attachment to them.  But he
would talk to them if that was what Naruto wanted.  “Given that the war was
started by Madara and Obito, I’d say any salvaging of the clan name is already
long gone.  Even the Second said the Uchiha were a cursed clan.  Itachi… wanted
to save something that was already lost.”
Naruto shot him a look, and Sasuke could tell that Naruto wanted to argue the
point.  But he held his peace, for now.
“Very well,” Tsunade decided.  She turned back to Naruto. “You can talk with
Nara while Sasuke has his evaluation with Kakashi, after you’ve recovered from
the procedure.”
“But -”
“You will not be allowed to watch the assessment, Naruto,” Tsunade said firmly.
 “So you might as well make yourself useful.”
Naruto opened his mouth to say more, but the doors opened and Kakashi walked
in.  The silver-haired man glanced at Sasuke, but addressed Naruto.
“I heard you got yourself in trouble again, Naruto-kun.”  The slight note of
concern in the older man’s voice wasn’t lost on any of the room’s occupants.
“Yeah, well… you know how I hate being bored,” Naruto grinned, but it didn’t
fool either of the sharingan holders.
Kakashi placed a hand on Naruto’s head, ruffling his hair slightly, but his
eyes showed concern.  He pulled down the cloth that covered his eye and looked
at Naruto’s damaged hand.
“Tsunade showed me the seals that were involved in this.  It’s pretty
elaborate, even for Danzo,” Kakashi covered his eye, then turned to look at
Sasuke.  “She also told me that it was the information you brought back from
Orochimaru’s library that helped them find a way to reverse it.”
Sasuke’s face was expressionless as he looked at his former sensei.
When Sasuke said nothing, Naruto spoke up.  “Yeah.  He didn’t sleep for like
three days between the journey there and going through all the books.  Half of
them were in languages I couldn’t even read.  I was totally exhausted but
Sasuke just had me sleep while he -”
“Naruto,” Sasuke’s voice cut him off.  
Naruto stopped and looked over at Sasuke.
“You don’t need to do that.”
Naruto looked between Kakashi and Sasuke as the two men looked calmly at each
other.  There was no sign of the relationship the two had had when they were
part of Team 7.  Naruto had been jealous in the past that Kakashi had seemed to
favor Sasuke, but now…
They looked at each other with cool, wary gazes.
“I was making sure that Kakashi knew what happened,” Naruto looked at his
former sensei.  “After the last experiment, I was completely chakra-drained.
 Sasuke looked after me until I recovered.”
Kakashi looked at Naruto, but only nodded.  “Sai told me.”
Naruto glanced over at Sai, wondering what the ninja had disclosed.  He was
sure that the mice would have come to investigate once Sasuke activated his
sharingan.  Sai looked at Naruto calmly, simply waiting for the procedure to
start.
The tension in the room made Naruto want to scream.  He hated that there was so
much swirling in the undercurrents but no one but him was saying anything.
“I think we’re ready. Naruto, let’s have you lying down from the start this
time.  If you feel your chakra start to fluctuate like last time, we’ll stop
immediately,” Tsunade said, motioning to a hospital bed that had been wheeled
into her office for the procedure.
Deciding to temporarily shelve his frustration with his teammates (and he felt
a brief surge of giddiness at the notion that Sasuke was now included in that
grouping), he walked over and lay down on the cot.  Shizune and Sai took their
positions on either side of his outstretched arm, while Kakashi and Sasuke both
activated their sharingans and stood on the other side.
“I need you to try to save your chakra during the first phase of the procedure.
 If you allow Kurama’s chakra to heal the damage as it is incurred, it will
deplete your reserves and make you more at risk in case something goes wrong
like last time,” Tsunade stepped up, evidently going to perform part of this
procedure herself.
“I can’t usually control the healing,” Naruto said.  “Kurama just… does it.
 And he’s been dormant since the battle.  I don’t know if I can keep him from
doing it.”
“Try,” Tsunade said.  “Talk to him, even if he isn’t fully conscious.  See if
you can get him to control it.”
Naruto nodded, closing his eyes and retreating to the place inside him where
Kurama’s cage stood, the door now unlocked and open.  The familiar form of the
sleeping fox comforted him. He smiled slightly at the thought of finding the
ancient chakra demon comforting.  Naruto walked into the cage and gently
stroked the fur just below the fox’s ear.
“Hey, old fox,” Naruto whispered affectionately.  “I got in a little bit of
trouble, and I need to have someone extract some foreign chakra from me.  It’s
going to damage my hand, but I need you not to heal it until it’s all over.”
Naruto bit his lip, having missed talking to Kurama.  Since he was down here
sharing news, he figured there was one more important piece of information he
needed to update the ancient demon about.  “And… uh… when you wake up, you’ll
find out that Sasuke and I… uh… we’re sort of… together now.”
Naruto felt his cheeks heat at the stupid way it sounded.  Kurama shifted
slightly in his sleep, but the ghost of a grin appeared on the fox’s face.
 “Finally.  Longest foreplay ever,” the beast murmured before returning to his
slumber.
Naruto couldn’t help the grin that appeared on his face, as well as the relief
that washed through him that the fox wasn’t angry about it.  He had been a bit
worried about what he would do if Kurama really hated Sasuke.  Given the
history of the Uchihas and the Bijuu, it wouldn’t have been surprising if
Kurama had held a grudge.  But evidently, the old fox had seen this coming and
already made his peace with it.
Naruto opened his eyes to find the other occupants of the room looking at him.
 “I told him to hold off healing me for a bit.  I think he got the message.”
“Ok,” Tsunade's face was grim.  “Let’s begin.”
Sai’s face looked apologetic for an instant before he painted the seals on
Naruto’s skin.
Naruto’s whole body arched up at the pain that seared into him.  When Sai had
said it would hurt, he had grossly understated things.
Naruto’s jaw clenched so hard he thought his teeth might crack as he held back
his shout of pain.  His eyes squeezed shut.  He knew that Tsunade and Sai had
to focus.  His good hand gripped the bed, his fingers biting into the padding
as he tried to keep his body calm.  He felt something warm wrap around his
wrist.  He opened his eyes to see Sasuke standing beside him, looking down with
concern for an instant before his Sharingan gaze went back to where Sai and
Tsunade were working on his arm.
“Dobe,” Sasuke’s hand was gripping Naruto’s wrist.  Naruto’s fingers unclenched
the mattress and viced around Sasuke’s wrist, returning the grip with bruising
force.  Sasuke didn’t flinch, but watched grimly as the procedure continued.
“How are you doing, Naruto?” Tsunade asked tensely.
“F-fuck!” Naruto gritted out.
“Is your chakra stable?”
Naruto nodded, not able to open his mouth again without screaming.
“Focus on something else,” Sasuke’s voice was low and calm.  “The half of the
pain in torture is the anticipation in your mind about the next wave.  Focus on
something you can control, like breathing.  Think about each of your breaths
coming in and out.  How your lungs are pushing the air with each breath.”
Naruto tried it.  It was hard at first but it got better.  He supposed Sasuke
had a lot of experience in dealing with torture.  Though it was equally
possible that he had been on the giving or receiving end of it.  The thought
distracted him from his breathing exercise, and he felt the overwhelming pain
surge up.  He drew a deep breath and forced it out, making himself stop
thinking about the pain that was searing through his hand.  Fifteen minutes of
this was going to be an eternity.
“Good,” Sasuke’s voice was smooth and calm.  “Just like that.  Slow, steady
breaths.”
Naruto nodded and kept up the breathing exercises.
Until he passed out, which was a relief to everyone.
“Why didn’t you give him some sort of pain medication?” Sasuke asked angrily
when Naruto’s eyes rolled back in his head and closed, his body going limp.
“They don’t work on him.  His body metabolizes them away.  We’d have to use a
huge amount, but then it could interfere with his central nervous system and we
had no way to account for how that might alter things,” Tsunade snapped back,
obviously not happy with the situation any more than Sasuke was.
Sasuke looked up to see Kakashi watching him, noticing the way h hadn’t
released Naruto’s arm.  Sasuke shot him a glare and they both went back to
watching the procedure, monitoring Naruto for any sign of chakra instability
that the sharingan could detect now that the blond was no longer awake to give
them a warning if something went wrong.
Tsunade and Sai worked in silence, focused intently on the intricacy of their
task.  Any mistake could have lethal effects, and they both knew it.
The tension was thick in the room as the minutes ticked past.  
“I think that’s all of it,” Tsunade said, wiping her brow.  “Sai, are you ready
to do the remaining seals?”
Sai nodded a look of relief on his face that the worst part was over.  
Sasuke forced himself to not ask if they were sure they got the sequence right
this time as he watched the Root nin paint a new set of seals over Naruto’s
skin, then activate them.  
Naruto’s hand was dark red from the first stage of the process, with the
underlying darker discoloration of the seal less visible.  But as Sai went
through the incredible intricate seals, setting them in sequence this time
rather than all at once, he saw the greyish color fade from Naruto’s flesh.
Sai finished the final seal, and they all stood looking down at Naruto’s still
form.  Sasuke had kept his Sharingan active the entire time, watching for any
small fluctuation that could signal a problem.
Tsunade lay the tips of her fingers over Naruto’s damaged skin, the green glow
of her chakra penetrating the flesh as she looked for any sign of residual
activity of Danzo’s seal.
“It’s done,” she breathed out in relief.  “There is no trace of the seal
activity.  Naruto’s hand should heal normally now.”
Sasuke’s hand shook slightly at the relief the words brought, but the motion
was covered by his grip on Naruto’s wrist.  He brushed a damp lock of blond
hair that was clinging to Naruto’s face.  
“We should go,” Kakashi said to Sasuke.
Sasuke didn’t even look up, continuing to run his fingers through Naruto’s
hair.  “I am staying until he wakes up.  If that means I fail the test, I don’t
care.”
Kakashi watched Sasuke for a moment.  “No.  It doesn’t mean you fail.  Just
come to the field when you’re ready.”
===============================================================================
 
Naruto’s first though was that someone had taken an entire pack of senbon and
rammed them through his hand.  He slowly opened his eyes, almost afraid to look
at the damage.  
“Hey,” Sasuke’s voice sounded slightly rough.
“Hey,” Naruto replied, giving a half-smile as he met Sasuke’s gaze, then turned
to look at his hand.
“How do you feel?”
Naruto tried to flex his fingers and winced at the burning pain that shot up
his arm.  His hand was red and swollen, but the numbness was gone.  “Been
better. Did it work?”
“Yeah.  Tsunade said there was no sign of any residual activity from the seal.”
Naruto closed his eyes and blew out a steady breath.  “Good.  I didn’t want to
have to go through this shit a third time,” he gave a weak laugh.
Sasuke’s lips twisted slightly, but he didn’t say anything.  
Naruto’s eyes opened again, focusing on Sasuke.  “So… weren’t you supposed to
be out meeting with Kakashi?”
Sasuke shrugged. “Soon enough.”
“I would have thought they would have had you go while I was still asleep and
not able to get in the way,” Naruto smirked a bit
Sasuke looked off to the side.  “I’ll probably head over now.”
Naruto paused. “You… you stayed until you knew I was ok?”
Sasuke narrowed his eyes.  “Don’t be dumb.  Kakashi’s always late, and I
figured I might as well wait here where I could sit down rather than on the
training field.”
Naruto grinned. “Uh-huh.  Sure.”
Sasuke stood, looking annoyed.  “Usuratonkachi.”
He headed towards the door, and Naruto’s grin faded.  “Hey.  Don’t fuck up.”
“Tch. Like you need to tell me that,” Sasuke scoffed before he closed the door
softly behind him.
===============================================================================
 
Sasuke walked onto the training field.  For once Kakashi was already there,
leaning against a familiar post, reading a familiar orange book.  Sasuke didn’t
bother to muffle his footsteps as he approached, not that Kakashi wouldn’t have
been able to detect him even if he had been completely silent.  The silver-
haired man looked up.
There was neither welcome nor hostility in his gaze.
Both men looked at each other in silence for a moment.  Sasuke was the one to
speak first.
“I have other things I want to do today.  Do I need to try to take a bell
again, or are we playing a different game this time?”
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a
bell, tossing it up and catching it with a downward swipe of his hand. “You and
I both know you could take this from me now.”
“Then why am I here?”
“Why do you think?”
Sasuke looked impassively at his former sensei.  “If it’s not to test my
physical skills, then I would assume it is to test either my mental stability
or my loyalty.  Which would be a waste of both our time, since I would guess I
failed both those tests years ago.”
Kakashi closed his book and tucked it into his pack, giving his full attention
to his former student.
“Yes.  You did.”
Sasuke accepted the indictment calmly.  It wasn’t the first time Kakashi had
expressed the sentiment, after all.  The last time, Kakashi had said he would
kill Sasuke for it.  He supposed this was an improvement.  Though to be fair,
he’d planned on killing Kakashi back then, too.
“Then I’ll ask again.  Why am I here?”
Kakashi shifted against the post, lounging back casually.  “Because Naruto
trusts you and thinks you’ll make a good head of Anbu.  And since Tsunade has
already decided he will be the next hokage, she has agreed to trust his
judgment on this.  But that doesn’t mean that your… loyalty and mental
stability are sufficient.”
Sasuke hid his surprise.  Naruto hadn’t told him that he wanted him as head of
Anbu.  They hadn’t discussed his role specifically, other than he would be made
a part of Anbu and allowed to join Naruto’s current assignment around tracking
down the supporters of the Council.  
“You clearly are able to work with Naruto.  But if you take that role, you will
need to be able to work with the other shinobi of the village,” Kakashi
continued casually.  “Starting with the members of your own class.”
“I had assumed as much.”
Kakashi raised an eyebrow skeptically.  “Even given that they voted unanimously
while Naruto was out of the village to kill you as a rogue nin to avoid war
with the Raikage?”
Sasuke didn’t even flinch.  If anything he looked bored.  “Given that I was
planning on killing them all if I chose to attack the village, I suppose it’s
fair they decided to do the same.  If anyone is going to hold a grudge about
that, it is more likely to be Naruto than me.  After all, I’m here talking with
you, and you had decided to kill me as well.  Even after knowing why I killed
Danzo.  At least they could claim ignorance.  I suppose you would say you were
just following orders.”
Kakashi’s expression didn’t alter, but his visible eye showed a flash of
annoyance.  “You think I wanted to kill you because of Danzo?  Or the Raikage?
 I was willing to kill you because you were going to destroy the village.  I
took no pleasure in the decision that I had to make at that time.  You’d joined
up with the organization that had a mission statement to kill Naruto.  You were
beyond reasoning at that point.  Whatever your motivations, you were willing to
kill Naruto… the one person who never did anything to wrong you.  You can look
down on me, Sasuke.  But if you don’t apply the same critical lens to yourself,
then you’re a hypocrite.”
Sasuke didn’t deny it.  He had been over the edge of madness after he’d learned
the truth too late about Itachi.  It wasn’t a place he wanted to dwell on.
  “And so here we both are.”
Kakashi sighed.  “Yes.  Here we both are.”
Kakashi watched Sasuke closely.  “You don’t seem very nervous about the outcome
of this assessment.”
Sasuke shrugged.  “Like you said. The Hokage and Naruto have both said they are
fine with me joining Anbu and returning to active duty.  I seriously doubt that
Tsunade would want to run the risk of turning me down and having me leave the
village.  And…” a small, dark smirk appeared on his lips.  “I doubt Naruto
would take it very well, either.  You might not trust me.  But for some reason,
he does.  I won’t jump through hoops for your entertainment.”
Kakashi’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Naruto’s attachment to him, and
Sasuke wondered fleetingly if his former sensei knew of Naruto’s feelings
toward him.  He hoped so.  If for no other reason than it would keep the
shinobi from trying to come between them.
“I want to know why you are willing to return to the village.”
“You mean, to the village that ordered my entire clan killed, playing on my
brother’s love for me and his loyalty to the village to do it, and then made
the man who’d put the whole thing in motion hokage?”  
“Yes,” Kakashi lazed back against the post, as though the statement didn’t
bother him.  Though what Naruto had told him indicated that Kakashi wasn’t as
sanguine about it as he appeared.  Kakashi had respected Itachi.  They’d been
almost… friends.  
Sasuke considered not answering, but he’d promised Naruto that he’d do this.
 “There are several reasons.  The simplest is that Naruto’s current assignment
is one that I have… a personal interest in.  But as you know, it is an Anbu
mission.  Tsunade said I’d have to join the active ranks if I wanted to be
involved.”
Kakashi shifted the bell to his other hand, balancing it on the point of his
index finger before catching it again in the palm of his hand.  “So after that
mission is complete, you’ll leave?”
“No.”  Sasuke’s voice was completely flat.  “If I swear loyalty to the hokage,
I will honor that.”
Kakashi raised an eyebrow.  “Oh?  And what else would keep you in the village
you wanted to burn to the ground not long ago.  Once your revenge is complete,
what’s left for an avenger?”
For the first time, emotion flashed across Sasuke’s face, and he looked off to
where a hawk was flying away from them.  “It’s personal.”
“Hm,” Kakashi said, leaning back again against the post where Naruto had been
tied so long ago.  “Tsunade said that you’re re-joining active duty was
contingent on Naruto being made the next Hokage.”
“That’s right.”
“And why is that?”
Sasuke paused for so long that Kakashi wasn’t sure he was going to answer the
question.  “Because he’s the only person I still trust.  If he tells me he will
change the system, I believe him.”
Kakashi raised his eyebrows in surprise.  Sasuke wondered if Kakashi was
surprised at the sentiment, or the fact that Sasuke had admitted it.
“It won’t be easy reintegrating into the village,” Kakashi warned.
“I’m well aware of the village’s ability to hold grudges.  I’m not looking to
suddenly become everyone’s friend,” Sasuke sneered slightly.  “I just need to
be able to work with the other members of Anbu.  If nothing else, this village
is good at following orders without questioning the truthfulness or the
rightness of them.”  Sasuke’s voice was tinged with bitterness, and his eyes
made it perfectly clear he included Kakashi in with his statement.
Kakashi didn’t bother to rise to the bait.  He knew he’d failed Naruto as a
child when the Third had ordered him to pretend not to know who Naruto was.  If
Kakashi had suddenly started paying attention to some random orphan, it
wouldn’t have taken long for everyone to connect the dots between the blond
infant and the missing newborn of the Fourth.  Sarutobi had said that the
village wasn’t strong enough to protect Naruto if an enemy village came to take
the Nine Tails.  The way Pein had levelled the village had only proved that to
be true.  Their best hope for protecting him was to hide him in plain sight.
 What he’d learned about other decisions the Third had made now made him
question that, but it was too late now.
Kakashi had done what he could from the shadows to protect his sensei’s son,
but… He sighed.  He should have done more.  The two broken boys on his team had
deserved more than what their village had provided them.  Though they were far
from the only ones who had been damaged by the blindness of the village.
There were so many ways that Kakashi was similar to Sasuke.  The village had
taken both their fathers with its unforgiving discrimination.  Where Kakashi
had simply shut down his emotions, Sasuke’s had fed his need for revenge, and
it had driven him to the brink of madness.
But the dark eyes trained on Kakashi now were calmer, more stable than the ones
that had flared with the light of madness when he had faced Sasuke after he had
killed Danzo.  Somehow, Naruto had pulled Sasuke back from that precipice.
Just like Naruto had somehow made Kakashi care about something again.
“Then you had better make sure that Naruto lives long enough to be Hokage for a
long time,” the silver-haired man said, tossing Sasuke the bell.
Sasuke caught it reflexively.
The two men met each other’s gaze steadily for a moment.  The trust between
them was gone, but there was an acknowledgement of a single thing, a single
person, that still bound them together.  It was something they could build
from.  
“I’m going to go check on Naruto,” Sasuke said finally, his voice slightly less
cold than it was at the start of their conversation.  Kakashi knew it was the
closest the Uchiha could manage to saying thank you.
Kakashi nodded, then pulled out his little orange book.  
Later in the day he was going to pay a little visit to a certain shopkeeper who
was selling things he shouldn’t to unstable ninja.
===============================================================================
Naruto walked slowly up to the Nara house, his body recovered enough to move
almost normally, although his hand would take much longer to heal.  It was
strange now, to think of the house as Shikamaru’s.  Not to have Shikaku come in
and check on his son, making some dry comment about things Naruto usually
didn’t understand.  The village was slowly recovering from the war, but the
voids that were left behind from the dead were still gaping and painful.
He found Shikamaru out back in his yard, laying on his back looking at the
clouds.
Naruto said nothing, but simply lay down next to him.  They watched the clouds
in companionable silence for a few minutes.
“So is your mission finished yet?” Shikamaru asked.
“Nah… it’s gonna be a while.”
A large cloud drifted by that - to Naruto at least - looked suspiciously like a
large, steaming bowl of ramen.  He realized he was putting off saying anything,
because he didn’t really know where to start.
“So… do you want to start with the injury on your hand that Kurama isn’t able
to heal, or do you want to talk about when Sasuke is going to re-join active
duty?”  Shikamaru asked with his usual perceptiveness.
Naruto almost laughed at his friend’s bored tone.  He wondered how much of any
of what he was about to say would actually come as a surprise to the man who
seemed to sleep through everything but miss nothing.
“Yeah, well… they’re a little bit related.”  Naruto tried to think of the best
way put it.  Of everyone in their class, Shikamaru was the one whose opinion
mattered the most to Naruto.  Not only because the boy was a certified genius.
 Not only because Naruto wanted Shikamaru to be his advisor when he became
Hokage and would therefore also be working a lot with Sasuke.
Mostly, it mattered to him because Shikamaru was his friend.  After Jiraiya
died, it had been Shika who had kept him from falling apart, helped him to
cope.  He wanted Shikamaru to be able to understand why Sasuke had done what
he’d done.  He didn’t know if they could all be friends, but he desperately
needed them to not be enemies.  He cared too much for both men.
“Do you remember when Sasuke killed Danzo and joined the Akatsuki?” Naruto
began awkwardly.
Shikamaru resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  Given how the news had hit the
rookie nine like a coffin full of paper bombs, he was unlikely to forget it.
 He didn’t bother to reply, trusting that Naruto was going somewhere with it.
“What if… there was a reason for it?”
Shikamaru turned his head to look at Naruto rather than the clouds.
“You said before that there was.  But Kakashi didn’t let you finish.”
“Yeah.  Well.  What would you have done if Kakashi hadn’t agreed to go with you
when you went to kill Hidan and Kakuzu?”
Shikamaru didn’t bat an eye at the seemingly abrupt change in topic.
“Given that I was already sneaking out of the village to go after them before I
knew he would do that, I think the answer is pretty clear.”
“And maybe you would have been declared a rogue nin, if it had taken you longer
to complete your mission.  Since you had been told not to go,” Naruto stated,
his voice quiet.
Shikamaru was silent a moment.
“I understand that Sasuke left the village to kill Itachi.  And his plan was to
use Orochimaru to get enough power to be able to do it.  I had my team with me,
because we all wanted to avenge Asuma-sensei.  But I get your point.  Itachi
was much more powerful than Hidan or Kakuzu.  So it makes sense that his plan
took longer to execute.  But after Itachi was dead, then it should have been
finished.  If he had returned at that point, no one would have questioned him.
 After all, he killed two of the most powerful enemies of Konoha.  But joining
the Akatsuki and killing Danzo was different.”
“What if it wasn’t?”
Shikamaru looked at Naruto, realization dawning in his intelligent eyes.  
“Obito told me the truth, Shika.  Before Sasuke had killed Danzo, but after he
had killed Itachi.  Itachi wasn’t an enemy of Konoha.  He was still on a
mission.  Assigned to him by Danzo.  Approved by the council to pre-empt a
possible coup attempt by the Uchiha clan.”
Naruto could see Shikamaru’s emotions conflicted with his logic.  The horror of
the truth, up against the likelihood of the different scenarios, his nimble
mind evaluating discrepancies in what he’d heard in the past.  Naruto filled in
the details, describing his conversations with Tobi and Itachi, and the crow
with Shisui’s eye.  
“You’d talked to Itachi… you believed them.  But Kakashi and Tsunade would have
had you keep silent about it until you had proof,” Shikamaru looked at Naruto’s
bandaged hand.  “And I’m guessing that these missions you’ve been on were
looking for proof.  Which you must have found, if you’re telling me about
this.”  The dark-haired shinobi’s eyes narrowed as he realized another aspect.
 “But since you’re telling me this privately, there must be a reason that
you’re not announcing it broadly yet.  There were others besides the Council
involved in this?”
Naruto gave Shikamaru a crooked grin.  “I knew there was a reason I wanted you
to be my advisor.”
Naruto outlined what he had found.  “I’ve talked to Tsunade about this.  There
isn’t going to be another Council to replace the last one.  Tsunade has had
pressure to form one but she has been putting it off, saying that she wants to
wait until I am Hokage before decisions are made.  But she agrees with me.  I
want to make a new system that won’t do this sort of shit again.  And to do
that, I’ll need your help.”
Shikamaru closed his eyes, but a small smile traced his lips.  “Troublesome.”
“Tsunade has agreed that Sasuke can join Anbu, as long as he passes Kakashi’s
assessment.  He is going to help me sort through the mess Danzo and the council
left behind.  And the three of us are going to make sure it never happens
again.”
Shikamaru’s eyes opened, no hint of laziness in them for once.  “That sounds
like a good idea.”
“Gaara is doing the same in Suna.  He’ll be coming to talk to us about how we
could maybe approach it together.  And maybe Temari will come with him.”
Shikamaru blushed slightly, and Naruto laughed.
“Tsunade said that if the rest of our class accepts Sasuke, then the other
ninjas will as well.”
Shikamaru nodded slowly.  “They left it to us to handle our own when Danzo and
the Raikage gave the kill order.  They will accept our judgement if we deem him
fit to rejoin the village.”
“Do you?” Naruto asked, the naked uncertainty and desperate hope raw in his
voice.
Shikamaru sighed as he met the blue gaze.  “I would have left the village to
avenge Asuma with or without the Hokage’s approval.  Who am I to hold him to a
higher standard than what I held myself?”
The breath Naruto hadn’t realized he’d been holding left his body in a rush.
 If Shikamaru accepted Sasuke, then things would be ok.  The others would come
around eventually.  And if they didn’t… well, they were not likely to work much
together, anyway.  Sai was Anbu, but the rest weren’t.  Only Shino and TenTen
might possibly join Anbu.  The others were already heading in other directions,
or didn’t have the disposition in the first place.
“So when are you going to tell the others?”  Shikamaru asked.
“I was thinking tonight.  Assuming Sasuke passes Kakashi’s test.”
“Should we meet up at Sasuke’s place?  I don’t think they’d fit into yours.”
“No, um… we sort of trashed his place,” Naruto rubbed the back of his head
sheepishly.  “And mine, too.”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes.  This was no surprise. If anything, the surprise was
that the rest of the village was still standing.  “We’ll do it at my place
then.”
Naruto smiled at the ‘we’.  “Thanks.”
“When are you going to tell Sakura and Hinata?”
“What?  Tonight, along with the rest of our class.  We’ll do it all at once,”
Naruto’s expression was slightly confused by the question.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.  “I mean about your and Sasuke’s relationship.”
“What?!” Naruto’s eyes widened in shock, pretty sure he hadn’t mentioned
anything about that.
“Look, Naruto.  It’s been clear that you’ve been obsessed with Sasuke since we
were kids.  Even Ino figured it out after you had a nervous breakdown when you
heard about Sasuke joining the Akatsuki.  On top of that, there are not many
reasons why Sasuke would be willing to rejoin the village that made the man
Hokage who had ordered the slaughter of his clan and destruction of his
brother.  Not to mention that you’ve been spending all your time in the village
at his house.”
Naruto chewed his lip.  This was the topic he’d been the most unsure about how
to handle.  Homosexuality was a fact of life in the village, though there were
few ‘couples’ that were openly living together.  But there were also few active
duty shinobi heterosexual couples living together.   Most marriages occurred in
the civilian population.  Life was short and dangerous for shinobi, and most
chose a more informal arrangement unless they had a clan bloodline to continue.
Which was something he hadn’t talked with Sasuke about, really.
“I think, for now, I just want to handle one issue at a time.”
Shikamaru shrugged, then went back to watching clouds.  “So we should probably
go over what you’re going to say, then.”
Naruto sighed with relief.  Shikamaru was already an excellent advisor.
===============================================================================
 
Naruto walked up the steps to Sasuke’s house, trying to fight down the nerves
that caused his stomach to flip-flop.  There was no way Kakashi would fail
Sasuke.  Right?
He pushed the door open, not even bothering to knock.  He breathed out in
relief when he saw Sasuke calmly making himself a cup of tea in the kitchen.
“So… how did it go?”  Naruto asked, his nervousness showing in his voice.
Sasuke shot him a look, then tossed the small, silver bell to Naruto.
“Like I said, Dobe.  If you could pass, how hard could it be?”
Naruto laughed, relief washing through him.  “I take it you didn’t fight,
though.  So what was the test?”
Sasuke took a sip of his tea before answering.
“Loyalty and sanity.”
Naruto blinked.  “And you passed?”
This time, Sasuke threw the tea cup.
Naruto laughed, dodging the scalding projectile and walking over to wrap his
arms around Sasuke’s stomach.
After a moment, Sasuke relaxed into the touch.
“We are meeting the rest of our class at Shika’s tonight. We’ll tell them just
enough so they understand why you killed Danzo.”
“Hn,” Sasuke wasn’t sure how that would go, but he was willing to do it if it
mattered to Naruto.
“I told Shika basically everything.  He’ll be helping us plan how to deal with
the network that gave the Council its power.  He will be the only one of our
group that knows the whole situation.  But we’ll tell the others about Itachi
and Danzo tonight.  If they accept you, then no one else will question it.  It
will make it easier to keep people from asking too many questions or raising
objections.”
Sasuke nodded, though it bothered him to require anyone else’s ‘approval’.  He
wasn’t expecting a warm welcome, but it didn’t really matter to him either way.
 He hadn’t been friends with them before he left the village.  He didn’t expect
to be now.
===============================================================================
 
Kiba was the last to arrive at Shikamaru’s house that evening.  Akamaru bounded
up and gave Naruto an enthusiastic nudge, then paused, cocking his shaggy head
to one side and looking at Naruto.
“What’s up, Uzumaki?  You use a new shampoo or something?  What’s got Akamaru
all confu -” Kiba cut off abruptly as he sniffed tentatively.  His eyes darted
to the silent man standing beside Naruto, then widened in shock.  “Uh… ok,
I’ll… I’m going to just go sit down.”
Naruto didn’t bother to think about the strange reaction from Kiba, and instead
closed the door behind him then cast the seal to ensure their conversation
wasn’t overheard.  All eyes were on him as he completed the seal, many seeing
it for the first time.
The motion of setting the seal was awkward with his injured hand, drawing
attention to it before he had really intended to.
“Naruto! What did you do to your hand?”  Sakura asked, immediately coming over
to examine it.  
Naruto pulled his hand back before she could, earning a glare from the pink-
haired shinobi.  
“Baa-chan already checked it out. I’m fine,” Naruto said hurriedly.  Sakura
frowned, but stepped back.
A gasp from behind Sakura drew Naruto’s attention.  Hinata stood, her Byakugan
activated, looking in horror at Naruto’s hand.
“Hinata,” Shikamaru’s voice was quiet, but the kunoichi caught his meaning and
nodded, swallowing.  She took one last look at Naruto’s hand before allowing
her eyes to resume their normal state.  But her face was tense with worry.  She
had seen the nature of the damage, and knew this was no simple injury.
Naruto smiled at her weakly, not sure what to do now that things had already
gotten off to such a terrible start.
“Thanks for coming.  I… I know I haven’t been around much the past few weeks.
 I’ve been… on a mission.”  Naruto flicked a nervous glance at Shikamaru, who
nodded imperceptibly that he should continue as they’d discussed.  “You know
that Kakash'-sensei has been looking for Yamato Taicho.”
The group nodded, connecting the two statements to make it seem as though
Naruto had been working on this mission, and that was how he received the
mysterious injury.  
“Yeah, well… he came back with good news.  Yamato Taicho was found in an
underground cavern.  They think he’s alive, though it’s a little hard to tell
given what was done to him.  Kakash'-sensei is going to be leading a team to go
get him.” Naruto looked over to Sakura.  “He’ll be needing you, Sakura-chan.
 It’s… going to be a complicated mission to extract him from the thing that was
draining his cells to make the Zetsu army.”
Sakura nodded, her expression serious.  The war had tempered them all.
Naruto could see some of the wary glances being directed toward Sasuke.  Not
exactly hostile.  But not exactly welcoming.  Especially from Kiba, which
confused Naruto since - as far as he knew - those two had had very little to do
with each other before or after Sasuke had left the village.
“But there’s nothing secret about that mission,” Naruto began, then stopped,
hesitating.
“Just get to the point, Dobe.”
“Shut it, Teme.  I’m getting there!” Naruto growled back.  The familiar banter
between the two caused a few eyes to widen, but Naruto and Sasuke ignored them.
 “The seal I just cast will ensure that no one can hear what I’m going to tell
you.  Most of it will probably be disclosed eventually, but Tsunade wanted me
to start with you, since it effects you the most.”
Naruto took another breath. “Sasuke will be joining Anbu, effective
immediately.”
There was a slight reaction to the words, but no outcry of anger.  “I know that
many of you considered him a traitor to the village.  What you need to know is
that he didn’t attack the Hokage summit and kill Danzo for no reason.”
Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, but the shinobi showed no reaction to his words.
“We have proof now that Itachi didn’t slaughter his clan on his own decision.
 Danzo ordered the destruction of the Uchiha clan because they were afraid that
the clan would stage a coup after being relegated to the outskirts of the
village.  There were no attempt at negotiation.  The council approved the
action.  They told Itachi that it was the only way they would allow Sasuke to
live, if he killed the clan and allowed himself to take the entire blame.  They
also told him to join the Akatsuki, so he could spy on them for the Council and
let us know what they were planning.  Sasuke found out but only after… after he
killed Itachi.”
There was utter silence in the room as all eyes latched onto the man they had
once collectively agreed should die.
to be continued…
Next chapter Gaara will come to visit (just cuz I love him). There is a small
chance that the next chapter might be the last one. Depends on how it goes. I
just need to show the path forward that they will take. The characters are all
so complex that I can't possibly do justice to Sasuke's re-integration and
rebuilding of relationships even if I took 5 chapters. I am also trying to
figure out how much to deal with Sakura (and Hinata, though Hinata is easier to
handle for me than Sakura is). Obviously, it can't all be resolved right away.
But as long as Gaara shows up, I am good. LOL
Let me know what you think! This chapter was so much work relative to the ones
with just Sasuke and Naruto! *cries* this is why I avoid writing canon. All the
side characters have these huge, complex back-stories that makes even simple
interactions tricky.
***** Old allies and new enemies *****
Author's note: Ok, so it didn't quite all fit in this chapter, but pretty much
this is the end of the story. Thanks to Mykko_chan for reading this over, as
always! *hugs her*  Next chapter will be an epilogue. ALSO: There is a poll up
on my ff profile if you want to vote for which oneshot/short story you want a
sequel/continuation of (e.g. massage therapy, how to avoid a speeding ticket,
Getting him out of his system, …). I am going to t-try to do the one you guys
pick. *fidgets nervously*
-xXx-
Naruto glanced over at Sasuke, but the shinobi showed no reaction to his words.
"We have proof now that Itachi didn't slaughter his village for no reason.
Danzo ordered the destruction of the Uchiha clan because they were afraid that
the clan would stage a coup after being relegated to the outskirts of the
village. There was no attempt at negotiation. The council approved the action.
They told Itachi that the only way they would allow Sasuke to live, is if he
killed the clan and allowed himself to take the entire blame. They also told
him to join the Akatsuki, so he could spy on them for the Council and let us
know what they were planning. Sasuke found out but only after… after he killed
Itachi."
There was utter silence in the large living room as all eyes latched onto the
man they had once collectively agreed should die as a traitor.
"But -" Kiba was the first to speak, his expression one of disbelief. "But the
Third would never have allowed that. How did Danzo do this behind the Hokage's
back? He had that crystal ball, and he -"
"He knew," Sasuke stated, his voice expressing only the slightest trace of
bitterness. But his eyes showed an entirely different story as he recalled the
conversation he'd had with the Edo Tensei of the Third. "He didn't want to deal
with it, so he left it in Danzo's hands. Just like he knew that Naruto was the
Fourth's son, but he did nothing to prevent the village from hating him and
making his life a living hell his entire childhood."
"Sasuke -" Naruto said warningly, but the words were already spoken.
Sasuke shrugged as he glared coldly at the guilty expressions from around the
room. Naruto might never have called them to account for the way they had
treated him, but Sasuke had no such compunction. His gaze rested on Sakura, who
had the grace to blush, looking down.
Only Hinata and Shikamaru were still able to meet Sasuke's gaze.
"S-so… if i-it's true...," she didn't flinch when Sasuke's eyes had narrowed at
the word 'if'. Instead she lifted her chin, determined to ask her question.
"... then why do y-you want to s-stay here?"
Sasuke couldn't quite help the way his eyes veered slightly to Naruto before
coming back to meet her gaze. No one else in the room noticed, but Hinata did.
"Because the future hokage gave me his word that he was going to change the
system so nothing like this will be allowed happen again." He paused and turned
to look directly at Naruto, his voice softening almost undetectably. But Naruto
could hear the change. "And he's a pain in the ass about it, but he has a
reputation for keeping his word."
Sasuke's lips twitched slightly at the enormous grin that Naruto shot him.
Shino spoke from the back. "How do you know that it's true? That this isn't
another trick somehow to weaken the village?"
Sasuke's expression closed off, but Naruto spoke up. "Tsunade Baa-chan has
verified the evidence herself. The details of how it was obtained are
restricted to Anbu access, but she has sanctioned this meeting. She knows what
I am telling you. It is real. It happened. And the only question is whether we
are all strong enough to face it, or are we going to hide from it and pretend
it didn't happen."
Naruto's voice was harder than most had ever heard him, a testament to the
leader he would become. He looked at his friends, seeing their expressions torn
between disbelief, sympathy, and guilt. "Yes, Sasuke attacked the kage summit
and killed Danzo. Yes, he threatened to attack Konoha. But try to imagine
yourself in his place," Naruto turned to look at Ino and Chouji, "You were
ready to go against orders with Shika and leave the village to avenge Asuma."
The two met his gaze, then nodded. He turned to look at the rest of their
group. "And none of you ever called them traitor. If Kakashi hadn't figured it
out and met them at the gate, if he hadn't agreed to go with them, who knows
what would have happened. You all could have been declared missing nins. Asuma
was killed in battle. In active duty. Sasuke's clan was cut down in their beds.
Itachi threatened with the life of his younger brother if he didn't comply.
There was no mission they were on. Some were not even on active duty anymore.
How much more of a need for vengeance would you feel if it had been your
family? Or if…" he turned glancing at Shikamaru then Ino… "If they made the man
who'd killed your fathers Hokage, just to keep the peace. Would you have served
him? Served Madara?"
The room was silent as people took in what Naruto was saying. Aside from Sasuke
and Shikamaru, the others appeared to be in shock. Naruto knew that it would be
hard to go from thinking of Itachi as an insane criminal to a prodigy child
whose loyalty and love for his brother was twisted and taken advantage of. Not
to mention that Sasuke had gone from crazed enemy of the village to… victim of
the village's dark side.
It was a lot to take in. But the war had made them all grow up, and he had
faith that they would.
Sasuke's face was a mask, showing no emotion at all. He didn't look at anyone
other than Naruto.
"Sasuke knows about the vote to execute him to avoid war with the Raikage. I
know none of you knew about his reasons, so I understand why you felt that way.
In your eyes, he was a rogue nin who had lost his way and turned to our enemies
for no clear reason. But the fact is… he had a pretty damn good reason. I don't
agree with every choice he made. And I'm not asking that you forget everything
that happened. But I know that we would have lost the war without his help.
And… and I know our village is stronger with him in it than without him. I
don't expect you to make the decision tonight. But the village will be looking
to you, to our class, to decide whether Sasuke should be accepted back to the
village when he is reinstated tomorrow into active duty. I wanted you to know
the full story before you made your decision."
Sakura was crying softly, her face stricken with guilt.
"You believed in him," Sakura spoke quietly. "Even when… when I gave up." She
looked up at Naruto, her clear green eyes bright with tears.
Naruto's face pinkened as he glanced over at Sasuke, who was looking extremely
uncomfortable by the close proximity to female tears and emotions.
"Tch. He just didn't want to admit that there was actually something he said
he'd do that he couldn't," Sasuke looked over at Naruto, effectively cutting
off the heaviness of the prior conversation.
Naruto snorted and casually threw a punch at him. "Hey! I DID it, asshole!"
Sakura watched the interplay between her two former teammates, a look of slight
confusion on her face. She had gotten used to being the focus of Naruto's
attention, especially if she was upset. She had forgotten how quickly Sasuke
had always been able to wind Naruto up in the past.
Shikamaru sighed, and walked over to a chair. "You guys already trashed your
own places. I don't want to have to clean up mine. Too much fucking work."
Shikamaru sat down, looking at the rest of their group. "I talked with Naruto
earlier today. As he said, I was willing to leave the village to avenge Asuma
without permission, even if it had meant I was declared a rogue nin. We hunted
Hidan and Kakuzu down, and we killed them. I would have attacked them anywhere
if it gave me an advantage. I didn't like Sasuke much before he left, and I
don't expect to like him much now, but I don't consider him a traitor. He's one
of the best shinobis in any of the nations. I think we're lucky he agreed to
come back."
Ino and Chouji exchanged glances. "I agree with Shika," Chouji said.
"Me, too," Ino said. "Though… I actually did like Sasuke-kun before he left."
She glanced slyly over at Naruto. "But I'm guessing he's still not interested
in any of us girls."
Sakura looked at her sharply, and Kiba erupted into a fit of coughing.
"I agree with I-Ino," Hinata said softly, her expression slightly sad.
Lee's eyes were still wide with the shock of having one of his childhood heroes
destroyed before his eyes. "I…" he began, his voice shaking somewhat. "I am
deeply saddened that the Third Hokage did not protect the citizens of Konoha."
He looked stricken as he turned to Naruto and Sasuke, his eyes showing a
disappointed look that Naruto wished he didn't have to witness. But a small
flicker of the young man's enthusiasm manage to bubble back up. "But with our
combined energies, we will surely crush any such evil plots that come when we
are the guardians of Konoha!"
Naruto smiled slightly, glad to see his friend's spirit fighting its way back
TenTen and Shino nodded in agreement to Lee's words, though Shino added, "But
Sasuke's statement that he wants to be hokage I will not support. Why? Because
Naruto has already earned that title."
Sasuke shrugged, the edges of his cheekbones tinging a slight pink despite the
other shinobi's strange wording as he recalled his declaration when he had
joined the battle. "That's fine. I'm satisfied with the choice of the next
hokage as it stands."
Kiba nodded in what appeared to be general support, though his expression was
still somewhat shocked as his gaze kept moving back and forth between Naruto
and Sasuke.
Sakura drew a breath, turning to face Sasuke. "I… I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun," she
said, biting her lip, remembering how she had tried to convince Naruto to give
up on Sasuke, then had gone after him herself with a poisoned blade to try to
kill him for the sake of the village. "I just… I didn't…"
She raised her eyes and turned to Naruto. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked
him, her voice strong despite her tears. "When you found out, why didn't you
tell me?"
"Kakashi ordered me not to… not until we could verify what Tobi had said,"
Naruto looked guilty as he rubbed the back of his head.
"But… but I was your teammate. I was going to kill Sasuke, and I didn't even
know that he..." her voice broke.
A derisive snort from Sasuke earned him a glare from Naruto, but Sakura caught
the message and blushed, pulling herself together.
"Ok, so maybe… I really couldn't have killed him, even if I had been able to go
through with it, but..."
Sasuke rolled his eyes, and Naruto elbowed him sharply in the ribs, earning a
slight grunt.
"Uh, yeah..," Naruto decided it was in his own best interest if he didn't show
how completely he agreed with Sasuke's skepticism. "Sakura-chan, I'm sorry I
couldn't tell you. I wanted to tell everyone about what Tobi had said, but
Kakash-sensei and Baa-chan both told me it would be too dangerous until we knew
for sure. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. Not even you."
"And about the mission? Your hand?" she persisted. "I'm not just your friend,
Naruto. I'm a medic nin. Your teammate. I could have helped."
Naruto sighed. He knew that Sakura's pride had always been a sore-spot for her.
It wouldn't help that the rest of Team 7 had been on the mission, but it hadn't
been his call. "Sakura-chan, it was an Anbu mission. You're not Anbu. Sai was
the only one who knew outside of Shizune, the Hokage, and Kakashi-sensei."
She looked down again, biting her lip but nodded. She had admitted herself that
when it came to Sasuke, all she could do was cry. She supposed it wasn't
surprising that she hadn't been included, but she was grateful to Naruto for
not pointing that out. She drew a breath and steadied herself. It was time for
that to stop.
"All right. So. Now that we've all agreed we aren't going to be killing each
other -" Naruto began.
"I don't remember saying I wasn't going to kill you," Sasuke tilted his head
consideringly as he looked at Naruto, his expression dead serious. Except for
his eyes.
The room froze, the tension instantly coming back. Naruto sighed. It would be a
while before things were ok enough to joke about things. But at least it was a
start. "Yeah, asshole. You tried that already, and I kicked your ass,
remember?"
Sasuke snorted. "You didn't kick my ass. You just managed to stay conscious for
one minute longer than I did. That's hardly winning."
"Whatever. Don't whine like a girl the next time we spar, because I'm gonna
kick your ass even harder."
Sasuke rolled his eyes, but there was a definite gleam in them. "Then we should
go test that. You remember the terms we discussed earlier, right, Dobe?"
Naruto fought to keep from grabbing Sasuke's shirt and kissing him. He was
pretty sure his friends weren't ready for PDA scenes yet.
Akamaru barked excitedly. Kiba looked over at them. "Oh, my god, seriously?"
===============================================================================
There was no point in further discussion that night. The group needed time to
assimilate what they'd learned, but it was clear that - while their personal
opinions on Sasuke varied - their general support of having him return to
active duty had already been won. Naruto released the sound-proofing seal, and
the "rookie class" began to head out in ones and twos, most lost in thought,
trying to process the reality of the village they thought they knew, the men
they thought they'd admired, and the men they'd thought they hated.
Naruto and Sasuke had been amongst the first to leave, not wanting to force any
awkward conversations too soon and give the group a chance to discuss things
openly without them there.
Kiba had lingered, until it was just him and Shikamaru.
"Hey, so…" Kiba began somewhat awkwardly when Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.
"Naruto talked to you separately, right? Before the meeting?"
Shikamaru didn't bother to deny it, though he was a bit surprised at the
question coming from the dog-lover. He shrugged. "We discussed the best way to
inform the group about the situation."
Kiba nodded, accepting that answer as believable and not questioning it
further. Shikamaru gave an invisible breath of relief. "So… did he tell you…
did you know that he and Sasuke…"
"Are lovers? Yeah. It's been pretty obvious how they felt. Even back before
Sasuke left."
Kiba's eyes widened. "What?! And you don't think that it's… weird?"
Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't really know what Naruto sees in him, but at least
Sasukee's strong enough to match him. In any case, it's a good thing that
Sasuke has a reason to stay. I wouldn't really want him on the other side in a
battle."
Kiba blinked at that, then nodded slowly. He had always assumed that Naruto
would end up with Sakura. Or Hinata, though that thought always depressed him
enormously.
Lost in thought, he walked out the door of the Nara compound.
He saw Hinata standing by the gate, looking off at the path that led to the
Hyuuga compound. He tried not to notice how beautiful she looked in the
moonlight, the way it made her hair look like a soft, black cloud around her
shoulders.
"Hey, Hinata," Kiba smiled, hoping she wasn't going to ask him if he'd seen
Naruto. It was always Naruto with her.
"Hello, Kiba-kun," she murmured, then looked back over the path. Kiba watched
her for a moment, wondering what was wrong. After a few moments, she spoke.
"N-Neji nii-san always would walk with me after meetings like this. It was a
chance for us to talk and just spend time together. It's l-lonely with him
gone," her voice was soft and melancholy. She seemed to come out of her
reverie, and she looked at him somewhat hesitantly. "I was wondering if you
would w-walk me home, Kiba-kun?"
Kiba just stared, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest.
"I thought you'd ask Naruto," Kiba said, wishing he could get the words back as
soon as they were out.
A sad look flitted across her face. "N-no. H-he is…" she cut off, biting her
lip.
Kiba's heart ached for her. He knew all about unrequited love. First she had
lost Neji, now Naruto. If nothing else, he could at least be her friend.
"Sure," he said gently. "I'd love to walk with you."
He walked over to her and they headed down the path toward the Hyuuga compound
together. He tried to think of something to talk about, since she had mentioned
that she used to talk with Neji. But he didn't want it to be serious like he
imagined Neji's conversation was. He wanted to cheer her up.
"I had heard that they had offered Jiraiya the position as Hokage before
Tsunade. Can you imagine what he would have done if he had the Third's crystal
ball?"
Hinata laughed slightly. "Oh, K-Kiba-kun. You're t-terrible!" But a smile on
her face had replaced the sad look, and he was happy to have her scold him.
"Yeah, but can you imagine it?" he grinned. "All the women in Konoha would have
to bathe with their clothes on."
She giggled, red suffusing her cheeks.
They continued to walk as he told inappropriate stories and Hinata laughed. It
was the best walk he'd ever had in his life.
===============================================================================
In unspoken agreement, Naruto and Sasuke walked back to Sasuke's place. Rather
than going in the front door, Sasuke led them around to the back.
"I was only kidding about sparring tonight," Naruto said, slightly chagrined at
having to admit it. "My hand's all fucked up. I could barely make the
soundproofing seal."
"Idiot. I know that. We aren't going to spar."
"Then why are we going to the training field behind your house?"
"Because that's where some idiot piled all my furniture," Sasuke's dark eyes
seemed somehow even darker in the night.
"All your broken furniture," Naruto retorted. "Man, you really know how to
pitch a fit when you're pissed."
Sasuke slanted him an annoyed glance, and Naruto thought he heard a soft snort
escape the man's lips. Shortly after that Sasuke's hands flashed and fire
streamed out from his lips, creating an instant inferno from the pile of busted
furniture Naruto had assembled.
Naruto heard the satisfied indrawn breath from Sasuke, like a smoker taking his
first drag after a week of abstinence.
"Feels good to be able to use your chakra again?" Naruto snickered.
Sasuke tried to glare, but a slow smirk appeared instead. It made him look much
younger for just an instant, and Naruto wanted nothing more than to drag him
close and kiss him. But he still wasn't sure what the boundaries were, so he
stretched his arms over his head instead, releasing some of the tension that
had gathered in his shoulders in advance of the meeting they'd had that
evening.
"I suppose we should go furniture shopping tomorrow," Naruto said, watching the
blaze and flexing his sore hand slightly, testing to see if the range of motion
had increased at all. Frowning slightly in annoyance when it hadn't.
"Stop messing with it and let it heal," Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he turned to
face Naruto fully. "I already took care of the necessities while you were with
Shikamaru. I had a bed delivered today, and a kitchen table. We can figure out
the rest later."
Naruto felt his pulse escalate, and he wasn't sure if it was the mention of the
bed being a 'necessity' (because they'd both spent a large share of nights
sleeping on the ground during missions) or the way Sasuke had casually said
that they would be figuring the rest of it out together.
He ran his tongue over his lower lip, only partially from nerves.
Sasuke's eyes tracked the motion. "I want you well enough to spar as soon as
possible."
There was absolutely no mistaking the desire in Sasuke's voice, especially not
when he took a half-step closer, so their bodies were brushing. Naruto could
feel the heat pool low in his belly. The idea of sparring full-out with Sasuke,
chakra and all, made him almost growl with anticipation.
Sparring was just as intimate as sex. Combining the two would be… he closed his
eyes for a moment, trying to control the rapid spike of lust that went through
him.
It didn't work.
Taking Sasuke's words for the invitation they obviously were, Naruto slid his
good hand around to rest in the small of Sasuke's back, feeling the taut
contours of the muscles there. He pulled their bodies flush together, happy to
feel he was not the only one aroused by the thought of sparring together.
"So you… bought a bed, huh?" Naruto's voice was low and rough.
"Hn," Sasuke slid his thumbs along Naruto's jaw line, the pressure hard enough
to remind him how easy it was to kill an opponent in this position. Naruto's
eyes darkened to a midnight blue, and he grinned an instant before Sasuke's
lips crushed down on his. The heat of the bonfire behind them caused their
shadows to flicker and dance wildly across the darkened ground.
The sounds of their heavy breaths were lost in the crackling of the fire, their
clothes hurriedly discarded into the darkness of the grass long before they
even thought of trying to make it to the bed.
===============================================================================
The fire had burned down to low embers, casting a soft, red glow over their
bare, sweat-slicked skin. The night was still warm, and they felt no hurry to
return indoors. Sasuke's head was resting on Naruto's shoulder, but his face
was turned away from him, toward the fire. An ember popped loudly in the ash
pile of what was left of the furniture Sasuke had destroyed.
"You finally had the village's full support. I'm just going to complicate that
for you." Sasuke's voice was quiet. Contemplative.
Naruto shrugged, the calm intimacy of the warm night relaxing him like a drug.
Nothing could bother him now. He had fought much uglier battles for acceptance
at a time when he was much less equipped to do so. Any minor resistance he
encountered from the villagers now would be child's play compared to that. He
had friends who would stand by him now.
But even without that, he would never turn away from Sasuke just to make things
easier for himself. Sasuke was worth any battle. "They'll come around. They
definitely were glad enough to have you on our side in the final battle. Made
your grand entrance just in time, and all that shit." Naruto's lips curved in a
smile as he remembered the feel of Sasuke's chakra arriving on the battle
scene. And Naruto's certainty that he was there to help... to finally fight by
his side.
"Hm," Sasuke said skeptically. "Shikamaru and Ino seemed fine with us, but Kiba
wasn't so sure. I'm sure Hinata isn't overjoyed either."
"Huh? Us, you mean… about us… together?" Naruto felt his cheeks heat at his
awkward wording. And at Sasuke's seemingly calm acceptance of the fact that
they were a 'thing' to be discussed and reacted to by others. A couple?
Boyfriends? The words created an almost giddy swirl through Naruto's mind. "I
didn't tell anyone about us other than Shika. Well, actually he sort of told
me. Do you really think the others noticed?"
"Pfft. You might be the next hokage, but you're still an idiot," Sasuke
murmured, still gazing into the fire.
Naruto huffed, but there was no heat in it, and silence settled between them
for a few moments. Finally, Sasuke spoke again.
"Why are you with me?" Sasuke asked, his voice barely enough to be heard
through the darkness.
Naruto felt a flood of emotion at the question. Someone might as well ask him
why he kept breathing. The all-consuming depth he felt for the man lying beside
him was slightly terrifying in how overwhelming it was. Except it wasn't,
because now Sasuke was with him. But he didn't know how to voice something like
that. Wasn't ready. Possibly he knew that it wasn't fully even sane, but it
didn't matter.
He hesitated in his reply. What did Sasuke want to hear? What would he accept?
"Because I can't be anywhere else," Naruto finally responded with the simple
truth, his voice raw with so many emotions that he wasn't even sure Sasuke
heard him.
Sasuke turned, his face shadowed but Naruto could feel the intensity of his
stare. Sasuke slid one hand along the back of Naruto's head, fisting in his
hair before bringing their mouths together.
Naruto's last coherent thought was that he would never let Sasuke leave. Not
even in death.
===============================================================================
The next morning, Naruto could move his hand more comfortably, and the redness
had subsided to a duller shade. Kakashi arrived just after breakfast to inform
them that the delegation from Suna was expected to arrive within the hour, and
they were both to accompany Kakashi to the main gates to greet them. He made no
comment about the sudden lack of furniture in Sasuke's home, nor the large ash
pile still smoldering out behind the house.
"These are from the Hokage. It would be best if we are all dressed in uniform
for today's meeting," he handed Sasuke a folded set of Anbu gear, as well as a
Konoha jounin uniform. Sasuke accepted them wordlessly.
"You can choose your mask later. We'll get you tattooed later today," Kakashi
held Sasuke's gaze for a moment, as though trying to read something in his
expression.
Sasuke simply nodded, then turned and went to the bathroom to change.
"I stopped by your place first. You guys decided to go on a massive
redecorating spree of both your apartments, or did furniture somehow just start
pissing you both off?"
Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "No, um… we just… got a little
carried away with some sparring at my place. And Sasuke might have been a
little annoyed with me here."
Kakashi leaned back against the wall as they waited for Sasuke to change,
pulling out his little orange book. "Ah, young love. Nothing shows affection
like violence and destruction."
Naruto wasn't sure how to take that comment, so he went and finished his tea
instead. He was looking forward to seeing Gaara.
===============================================================================
Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto walk through the village together on the way to the
gates. Naruto noticed the way the villagers' eyes widened in surprise as they
noticed Sasuke was now wearing a Konoha uniform.
Naruto realized that this procession was more about Tsunade making a statement
to show that Sasuke had been reinstated with full trust, rather than any sort
of expectation Gaara might have about being met in person.
They arrived at the gates only minutes before Naruto was able to sense the
presence of his friend. A huge grin erupted on his face as he raced out the
gates to meet him.
"Gaara!" Naruto launched himself at the stoic Kazekage, giving him a huge
bearhug. His body guards didn't even flinch, having gotten used to the loud
Konoha nin's unusual familiarity with their terrifying leader in his frequent
visits in the intervening months after the war.
Gaara awkwardly patted Naruto's back before the blond ninja finally stepped
back.
"It is good to see you, Naruto," Gaara's voice was low, but the warmth was
unmistakable. "I had hoped you would have stayed longer during your last
visit."
Gaara was still awkward with physical affection, but his face was soft and his
eyes looked at Naruto with warmth and trust.
Sasuke had followed Naruto partially outside the gates, his face schooled into
a mask, but his eyes sharply focused on the two men embracing.
He looked over and saw one of the kunoichi guards was watching the scene with
an expression of sadness and… longing. It appeared that the Kagekaze had at
least one admirer in his group.
"We should go and meet Tsunade," Kakashi spoke finally, interrupting the
reunion. "We have business that can't wait."
Gaara's eyes met Kakashi's, then moved on to Sasuke. The green eyes froze for
an instant as he took in Sasuke's uniform. Naruto and Gaara walked forward,
catching up to Sasuke and Kakashi as they entered the village gates.
"Your eyes have changed, Uchiha," Gaara said as he walked alongside Sasuke
briefly. He spoke softly, so only the two of them could hear. "And I think for
the same reason."
Sasuke said nothing, but turned and headed towards the Hokage tower,
lengthening his stride to catch up with Naruto, who was talking to Temari
animatedly about something.
A tiny smile appeared on Gaara's lips as he looked from Sasuke to Naruto. It
was perhaps a bit wistful, but it was sincere nonetheless.
===============================================================================
They assembled in the Hokage's office, around a large, oval table. Tsunade
dismissed the Konoha and Suna guards from the room as Shikamaru, Kakashi,
Sasuke and Gaara took their seats. She immediately created the seal to prevent
any sounds from the room from escaping.
"Where is Sai?" Naruto asked, looking around the room.
"He's been going through the seal research, trying to see if there is a way to
diffuse the traps safely so this won't happen again if Danzo laid more
surprises in the documents."
Naruto sighed, knowing his friend was likely feeling guilty for his injury.
He'd have to find him and reassure him that he was fine, and that none of it
had been Sai's fault.
"I assume you found what you were looking for, Naruto," Gaara said, looking
directly at him.
Naruto nodded tensely, walking over to join them at the meeting table. "Yeah.
Sai and I found a hide-out that Danzo's followers either forgot about or didn't
know about in the first place. None of the documents were destroyed."
Gaara arched a hairless brow. "And I am assuming that - since you invited me
here - there were members of the Sand on that list."
Naruto glanced at Tsunade, who nodded.
"Yes," Naruto answered. "There were names from every nation on the list. It was
as you'd suspected. There is a network linked to the Daimyo that supported the
councils of most of the hidden villages."
"A fallback, in case any of the kage ever went against the Daimyo," Shikamaru
said slowly, realizing the import of that. This would be no easy adversary.
Direct confrontation with the Daimyo would lead to civil war, which no one
wanted.
Sasuke's body was in utter stillness as Shikamaru's words soaked in. "So… the
people who were behind the Council were… the Daimyo?"
"Not them directly," Tsunade said brusquely, laying a scroll on the table.
"These are the names of all the key people, transcribed from the book that
Naruto discovered. They are not the Daimyo directly, but generally senior
advisors or other wealthy, connected supporters. From some of the documentation
we've seen, the Daimyo themselves were not aware of this. The group seemed to
fear discovery by the Daimyo almost as much as discovery by that Kage."
"They were playing both sides?" Naruto asked.
"We don't know," Tsunade replied.
"The information Danzo had was only about the council's communications with
them. So it would only show their interference with the Kage's. We'd have to
look somewhere else to try to find what they did on the other side. If they did
anything," Kakashi stated, watching Sasuke's reaction carefully.
Shikamaru, Gaara, and Sasuke read through the names on the list. The others had
already seen them.
"Not untouchable. But close," Gaara murmured, recognizing many of the names.
Some were surprises. Some were not.
"So you understand why word of the existence of this list cannot ever come
out," Tsunade said levelly, eyeing each man in the room to make sure the risk
was understood. "Which is why we are not involving the other kage at this
point."
Shikamaru steepled his hands, staring at the list, his nimble mind already
turning the problem over, seeing the risks and benefits of different
approaches. "Naruto will immediately become a target if he refuses to allow the
formation of a replacement council," Shikamaru didn't lift his gaze from the
names on the list. "These men will not allow their power to be diluted. They
will try to convince Naruto to re-build it. And if that doesn't work -"
"They will try to have him assassinated, and replaced with a more malleable
Hokage candidate," Kakashi stated calmly.
Sasuke's head jerked up sharply at Kakashi's words. Naruto didn't seem to
react, likely already aware of this. Sasuke's eyes met Kakashi's as
understanding flashed between them.
"Yes, Sasuke. This is why I invited you to this meeting, now that you have
passed Kakashi's assessment," Tsunade's voice was deadly serious. "Kakashi and
I had been discussing how to best manage Naruto's security. Naruto won't be
sworn in as Hokage for another year, most likely. But he already has started to
get the attention of some dangerous, powerful people by delaying somewhat in
allowing the formation of a new council. If it becomes clear that he knows
about this group, or that he is going to try to change the system…"
Sasuke looked over at Naruto, who was looking slightly annoyed at Tsunade.
"Geez, Baa-chan. I don't need a fucking babysitter. There's a reason I'm going
to be Hokage. I'm not that easy for a bunch of spoiled, rich guys to kill off -
AHH!"
Naruto yelled as a needle of sand scratched along his back.
"Gaara, what the fuck!" Naruto rubbed his back, his hand coming away with a
little bit of sand and a little bit of blood.
"You can't watch your back all the time," Gaara said calmly.
Naruto glared at him. "I'm sort of assuming that since you agreed to disband
Suna's council once we knew what we were dealing with, that you WOULDN'T BE THE
ONE ATTACKING ME!"
Gaara's lips twitched into a smirk. "Actually, that was Shukaku. He knows
Kurama is still half asleep, and wanted to mess with him a little. But the
point is still valid. You and I are both going to be targets. I have four
bodyguards that travel with me at all times. You will have the Uchiha."
Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but Gaara cut him off again.
"I would have thought that you would be pleased with that arrangement."
"If you wish to have Sasuke assigned to some other task, I could have him take
over the intelligence-gathering division of Anbu. He's spent more time in other
nations than any of our other Anbu. He'd be an asset there, and we could find
others to be your bodyguards," Tsunade said looking calmly at Naruto.
Naruto struggled. He didn't really want anyone assigned to be his bodyguard. He
didn't want someone dying for him. Especially not Sasuke. But Sasuke could just
as easily die gathering information on an enemy. Like Jiraiya had. If Sasuke
were given the mission of guarding Naruto, then they would at least be
together. And Naruto could guard him right back.
"Of course, if it's not Uchiha, then we'd probably need at least three or four
guards, just as Kazekage-san does," Tsunade said, flipping through her
personnel files as though looking for names for candidates.
"Stop being stupid, Dobe. If you want to change the system, you have to live
long enough to actually do it. I'm going to be your guard. No one else is
qualified."
Naruto bit his lip, looking around the table at the faces waiting for him to
accept the inevitable. Grudgingly, he nodded. "Fine, bastard. But if you get
killed trying to protect me, I am totally kicking your ass."
"Tch," Sasuke's lips twisted slightly. "They couldn't kill me before. I'm not
going to let them kill me now."
"Then it's settled," Tsunade said brusquely. "That brings us to the more
difficult task of how we begin to go after them."
Sasuke's fingers twitched slightly. None of the highly trained shinobi in the
room missed it.
"We can't simply kill them all," Shikamaru said, glancing surreptitiously at
Sasuke, knowing it would likely be the man's preferred approach.
Sasuke raised a brow, clearly viewing that fact as very unfortunate.
"It would be too obvious, and would only serve to justify the fear that some of
the Daimyo have about the risks of the Kage structure. We need to weaken and
discredit them. And strengthen diplomatic ties between the Kage and the Daimyo
at the same time."
Gaara frowned slightly. "We should be able to make a move on two or three of
the names without raising suspicion, but by the time we get further down the
list, they will know our game and either go into hiding or launch a counter-
attack."
"The bigger risk is that they will disappear. We can likely handle any counter-
measures, because we'll be watching for them," Sasuke stated.
Shikamaru nodded slowly. "But there's really no way to prevent them going into
hiding. If we assign surveillance, we're only likely to tip our hand early."
Kakashi shifted, looking at Naruto. "You've managed to learn the Hiraishin no
jutsu, right Naruto?"
Naruto nodded. "But I'd still need to know where…" he trailed off, his eyes
widening.
Kakashi smirked beneath his mask. "Exactly. The Fourth had marked each of the
members of his team with his seal, in case we needed his help in battle. Obito
hadn't realized the seal was permanent, because it isn't visible except when it
is activated."
"The placing of the seal takes less than two seconds. All I'd have to do is
brush against them, and we'd have them marked for whenever we were ready. There
would be no way they could escape us," Naruto looked up to meet Sasuke's gaze,
excitement flashing in his eyes.
"It would also serve as a fallback," Gaara looked at Naruto, who only looked at
him blankly.
Sasuke understood the implication immediately. "Yes. It's the perfect
assassin's mark. You always come from the back, at a time when they least
expect it. There would be no warning, and the attacker would be able to escape
almost instantly by teleporting back to a safe location. There would be no
evidence, no trail to follow."
Shikamaru saw Naruto's discomfort with that approach and intervened. "But that
would only be as a last resort. Remember, we're trying to avoid a civil war.
Not start one."
Tsunade nodded. "Then we're agreed. This will be a multi-year effort. If we
move too quickly, we will expose ourselves. We'll have to create two task
forces. Sai will be in charge of doing intelligence work to gather what we can
on each target. We can pair him with someone from Suna of your choice," she
nodded to Gaara. "Sasuke and Naruto will be in charge of locating and marking
each target over the next six months. If you wish for someone from the Sand to
join their team, I will be open to discussion."
Gaara nodded. "That is acceptable. Naruto can represent the Sand as well as the
Leaf. I have no need to add another member to the team."
Sasuke's eyes widened fractionally in surprise at Gaara's statement. The level
of trust between the Kazekage and Naruto was… unusual. He glanced quickly at
the others around the table, noticing that none of them seemed to be even
slightly surprised by Gaara's declaration. Kakashi noticed his expression and
smirked.
Sasuke frowned slightly, but Tsunade was continuing.
"Very well. Shikamaru will be in charge of sorting through all the information
we receive from Sai's team, and he will coordinate with Naruto and Sasuke on
which targets have been located and tagged. He will then create a plan for
bringing this network down without arousing the suspicion of the Daimyo. Is
there someone from the Sand you wish to have work with Shikamaru?"
Gaara looked at Shikamaru for a moment. "I believe Temari will be a good
partner for him in this effort. She accompanied me to Konoha. I will debrief
her then have her meet with Nara to discuss the mission further."
Naruto noticed the way Shikamaru's hand had stilled at the mention of the Sand
kunoichi's name. He snickered. "Just don't get distracted, Shika."
Shikamaru narrowed his eyes slightly at Naruto, though a slight blush etched
along his cheekbones. "Like you're one to talk, Uzumaki."
Tsunade's nails clicked against the table with slight impatience. "Alright
kids. We've settled what we can for now. When Sai gets back with his reports on
the seals, I'll send him to debrief you directly on what he's found. He can
then accompany you back to Suna to meet with the person you wish to partner him
with on this mission. In the meantime, we can begin tracking the names on the
list immediately. We can't do anything until we locate them. I don't need to
remind anyone in this room that there can be no mention of this list or any of
our activities. This is an Anbu mission."
The men nodded in acknowledgement of her order, understanding the implications
of that statement. There could be no leaks.
They stood as the meeting adjourned. Naruto walked over to Gaara, talking
animatedly about the new teleportation jutsu he'd learned. Gaara's lips curved
up in a slight smile at his friend's excitement.
Sasuke watched the two, seeing the way Naruto coaxed Gaara into laughing. How
he seemed not to mind Gaara's cold, lethal demeanor. The clear trust and
respect between them was obvious to anyone who looked at them.
"Naruto and Gaara have been extremely close ever since you left.  Gaara and his
siblings came to help on your 'rescue' mission," Kakashi supplied helpfully
from directly behind Sasuke, his eyes not lifting from his little orange book.
"In fact, when the Akatsuki captured Gaara, Naruto was the first to go after
him. Despite the fact that the Akatsuki was also hunting Naruto down at the
time. Oh, I forgot. You would have known all about the Akatsuki's objectives,
wouldn't you?"
Sasuke didn't show any outward reaction to Kakashi's comment. "I never tried to
hunt Naruto down."
Kakashi shrugged. "Maybe not. But you joined an organization that was doing so.
Anyway, Naruto saved Gaara's life. Or I suppose, more accurately, he helped
Granny Chiyo resurrect him using his and Kurama's chakra. After dealing with
Deidara and Sasori."
"I killed Deidara," Sasuke said flatly.
"True, true," Kakashi nodded agreeably. "We thought we had as well, but he was
a sneaky bastard."
Sasuke blew out a breath. That battle had been close. It made him wonder
slightly what Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo were doing; what had become of them
after the war. He wondered if they'd settled somewhere, or were looking for
him. Or if they had gone back to work for Orochimaru.
"Gaara trusts Naruto. And he understands him. They are both Jinchuuriki.
Gaara's village treated him about the same as Konoha treated Naruto. Maybe a
bit worse."
Sasuke wasn't sure where Kakashi was going with this. "Naruto and I understand
each other as well."
Kakashi shrugged, turning a page in his book. "That's what Naruto always
claimed. I just hope he's right. He is trusting you to have his back. Quite
literally. If you're not really up for that, you need to tell me now."
Sasuke's eyes didn't stray from Naruto. The sun had passed its zenith, and the
light now flooded in through the window, making Naruto's hair almost glow. "No.
I will be the one to guard him."
As if feeling the weight of his gaze, Naruto turned. His eyes warmed as they
met with Sasuke's. He arched a brow in question at the serious expression on
Sasuke's face.
Sasuke shook his head slightly, indicating they'd discuss it later.
Naruto smiled before he turned back to finish his conversation with Gaara.
Sasuke's resolve firmed. He hadn't been able to protect his clan or his
brother. But he would protect Naruto. He relaxed slightly. He needed to start
training again.
They would need to start locating their targets right away. Every day that went
by was another day that the hideout could be discovered and word leak out that
documents had been taken.
Tsunade had given them six months, but if he and Naruto pushed hard, they could
do it in half that amount of time.
He felt the familiar adrenaline pump through him at the thought of the
dangerous odds.
And this time, he would face them with Naruto.
===============================================================================
The end.
A/N: This is basically the end of the story, but there will be an epilogue with
a time-skip to have the last critical event needed to really tie this story off
(I bet you can all guess what that will be). I think it will end up being
short, but we all know how bad I am at judging those things. This story was
about Naruto and Sasuke getting together, and starting a life together. Which
has now happened. Continuing on would require a whole separate story how they
re-engineer the political system of the ninja world, which… would be a lot of
work LOL. But I do want to write a couple of smutty oneshots in this universe,
so stay tuned for that.
***** Epilogue - Honoring the Dead *****
Warning:This chapter broke me. I don't even know what to say.  Holy shit, canon
is depressing. I am off to write on Daily Ramen and cheer myself up.
Author's note: This chapter is meant to show - in flashbacks - how the next
seven years go for our boys. Given the events of the manga, there is no way to
make this a fully 'happy' ending. Bittersweet was as close as I could get. 
Thanks to mykko_chan for letting me sob uncontrollably on her shoulder.
-xXx-
Epilogue - Honoring the dead
The Sixth Hokage stood in the small clearing just outside the village, his
white robes billowing slightly in the autumn wind that had picked up as evening
approached. In front of him was a large stone, flanked by two smaller ones. A
kunai had been driven in the top of each stone, and chakra wire connected the
three blades.
It was a quiet place, despite the man it honored. But it was a place where the
Hokage could often be found when he had things on his mind. His gaze rested on
the single kanji he'd carved in the main stone: Teacher. The book was gone,
likely the wind or rain or animals had carried it off. Strangely, the flowers
that Konan had given him remained, despite the passing of their creator.
"Well, Ero Sennin," he crouched in front of the grave, not caring that his
robes were brushing the dirt. "You wanted to make a difference. To stop the
cycle of hatred. I don't know if that can ever be totally possible, but we put
a hell of a dent in the wheel."
He stayed there for a while, thinking back to all the times his teacher had
pushed him, all the ways that he had guided him. Tan fingers brushed over the
top of the central stone. He would not dwell on the fact that the man was no
longer physically present to see this accomplishment. It was enough that he had
been the one who set it in motion, and given Naruto the tools and the vision to
go after it.
Tonight… tonight they would finally put an end to a story that had damaged so
many. Especially the man he was waiting for. He wondered how Sasuke would feel
when he returned from this final mission. He hoped it would finally bring him
some measure of closure, if not peace.
Naruto's eyes were shaded with orange, indicating he was in sage mode… an
'order' from the head of his personal guard, whenever the man was called away
from his side for a mission. He let his senses stretch, seeking the slightest
sign of his lover's approach, but there was only the village behind him.
That was ok. Sasuke still had a few hours before he would technically be
'late'. And the mission had been hard. Naruto would wait, and remain in sage
mode as directed.
A small smile ghosted across the Rokudaime Hokage's lips as he recalled the
issuance of that order seven years ago.
===============================================================================
Sasuke and Naruto had finally marked all the targets across six nations that
had been pulling the strings of the councils in the Hidden Villages. Sai had
gathered enough evidence to have the first target on their list arrested by the
Daimyo for treason on an unrelated, foolish action by the man. Shikamaru had
determined that it would be a safe first move for them to make, as it was
unlikely to tip the other targets off or be traced back to them. But the
evidence needed to be seeded and planted carefully, including a critical
document that needed to be placed on the man's person.
It was a dangerous mission, and the newly installed Hokage had wanted to do it
himself. But the head of his personal guard had adamantly refused.
"Dobe, you are the Hokage now. You are not supposed to be doing missions unless
there is no one else who can accomplish the task," the Anbu wearing the hawk
mask stated bitingly.
"Fuck you, Teme. You report to me now. You are supposed to do what I say, not
order me around! I'm the only one who can use the teleportation jutsu. My seal
is on the target. I run the least risk of getting caught."
"Tch. Not all of us need to rely on space-time jutsus to avoid getting caught.
If anything goes wrong with this mission, they have the Hokage in their hands,
and Konoha on its knees. It's a stupid risk. Especially when I am completely
capable to do this mission. You can't keep trying to do everything by
yourself."
Naruto felt his stomach tighten. He could hear the echo of Itachi's words
telling him the same thing. But it was hard. He had never wanted others to take
risks if he could at all avoid it. But especially not if they came as a direct
order from him to the man he loved.
"Itachi said something similar to me once," Naruto admitted quietly.
Sasuke's eyes and flickered with an emotion that was gone before Naruto could
read it.
"Sasuke. Please, let me do this."
Sasuke didn't relent. "This is what it means to be Hokage. You have to give the
orders for others to do the missions unless there is no one else."
Naruto looked almost helplessly as Sasuke had lowered his Anbu mask, covering
his features.
"I will be back in one week."
Naruto eventually nodded. "Fine. But if you aren't here in one week and three
seconds, I am coming after you."
Naruto had expected him to disappear immediately on his mission, but Sasuke
hesitated. "Juugo will be taking over my duties as your guard."
Naruto looked at him oddly. They'd already discussed this. Juugo had found
Sasuke six months after the war had ended, and asked to join Konoha and serve
with Sasuke. Karin and Suigetsu had both settled elsewhere, but Juugo had
preferred to stay with Sasuke, where his rages could be controlled. Tsunade had
begun working on a medicine that he could take as a pill when he felt the rages
building up. He was now relatively stable, as long as he had his meds on him.
The 'cure' had only taken three months to develop. Orochimaru clearly had only
been interested in spreading the 'curse', not curing it, and Konoha had earned
Juugo's unwavering loyalty.
"Yeah," Naruto frowned slightly in confusion. On anyone else, he would have
called the look in Sasuke's eyes 'worry'. Of course, that was ridiculous.
"If even the slightest hint of what we are doing gets out, they will come for
you immediately," Sasuke said finally.
Naruto laughed. "Yeah. So don't fuck up. Not to mention I'll kick your ass if
you get yourself killed."
The words were said lightly, but both men knew there was nothing light about
the sentiment.
"I want you to be in sage mode while I'm gone."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're going to be gone for a WEEK. I'm not going to
stay in sage mode for a week with no sleep."
The serious expression on Sasuke's face told Naruto he wasn't budging. "You can
have clones go into sage mode for you. I've seen you do it. You'll be able to
sense an enemy approaching, even if they send a civilian with poison rather
than a shinobi."
"You don't trust Juugo?" Naruto asked seriously.
Sasuke shifted very slightly in an extremely uncharacteristic show of nerves.
"He's not me."
"Sasuke, if you're nervous about the mission -"
"Naruto. Please, just -" Sasuke drew a breath. "Just do it."
Naruto's eyes widened. He wasn't sure he'd ever heard Sasuke say please before.
Not in that way.
"O-ok. I'll stay in sage mode. But then I need you to do something for me,"
Naruto bit his lip slightly, not sure how Sasuke would react to what he was
about to ask. Naruto held out his hand, turning his palm up. He concentrated
his chakra into his hand in the form of the seal he used for placing the
teleportation mark. Sasuke's sharingan swirled, and Naruto knew that the man
was able to see the form of the chakra gathered on the surface of his palm. "I
want to be able to find you. If something goes wrong."
Sasuke's body tensed. Naruto was asking to place a permanent marking on him,
well beyond the Anbu tattoo.
"My father placed his seal on the people he wanted to protect," Naruto said
quietly. "I know there are no guarantees for Shinobi. But I can at least come
get you if you're captured. Regardless of the security level."
"I'd never let myself be captured."
Anbu were never supposed to be taken alive in battle. It was why the memorial
stone had been created… too many times there were no bodies to be recovered.
Only a name that never returned home.
"Dammit, Teme! Just let me do this. I could make it an order."
Sasuke's eyes looked at him steadily from behind his mask. "But you won't."
Naruto blew out a frustrated breath. Of course, Sasuke would call his bluff.
"No. I won't. I'm asking. Not ordering."
Sasuke hesitated a moment, then rolled up his sleeve, baring his forearm.
"Fine."
Naruto would rather have marked Sasuke's back or chest, since arms could be
lost in battle. But he wasn't going to argue at this point. He quickly placed
the seal, letting his hand linger slightly more than necessary over Sasuke's
skin. He wished he could pull the man back to their bed and keep him there.
Safe. But it wasn't going to happen. They were finally able to strike a blow
against the shadowy puppet masters they'd been chasing. Neither man wanted to
delay any further.
"Ok, get your ass moving. And don't take too long. I'm going to be completely
exhausted when you get back," Naruto pretended to look annoyed. It didn't fool
either of them.
Sasuke nodded, then turned and disappeared into the night.
===============================================================================
It had become an understanding between them. When Sasuke had to leave on other
targeting missions, Naruto would remain in sage mode until he returned. His
stamina and chakra control had improved through the years, allowing him to rest
while maintaining clones in sage mode.
Twice, Sasuke had failed to return and Naruto had gone to find him. The first
time, it had simply been due to the target being unexpectedly out of town,
requiring Sasuke to spend more time tracking the man down.
The second time, though… Naruto drew a slow breath, forcing himself to be calm.
Sasuke had avoided capture, but he had been gravely injured. Naruto closed his
eyes, forcing out the image of Sasuke covered in blood, his breathing shallow,
resting in a small cave. Naruto had picked him up and teleported them directly
to the hospital back in Konoha.
Sasuke had stabilized in only a few days, with proper medical care. It had
taken Naruto a lot longer to deal with the fact that he could just have easily
teleported to find Sasuke's dead body. It was something that he knew they
should both be prepared for, but somehow, Naruto knew he wasn't. For the first
time, he understood his father's choice to not save himself when he could have,
when he knew that his wife was dying.
Naruto realized he would possibly make the same choice. It wasn't a comforting
thought.
The next mission involved executing a complicated plan (courtesy of Shikamaru)
involving three targets simultaneously. Sasuke was still not up to full
strength, and Naruto had flat-out refused to let him do the mission, leaving
himself as the only other shinobi with sufficient skills to manage it. Tsunade
had agreed to stand in for him as Hokage while he undertook the mission
himself. He had simply told Sasuke that the timing was critical, before
teleporting directly out of their home.
Naruto had returned three weeks later to an extremely pissed off Uchiha. Their
house had been in almost as bad shape as when Sasuke had torn it apart looking
for drugs long ago. Naruto had also seen some empty sake bottles that he chose
to temporarily ignore.
Naruto still remembered the words Sasuke had spoken to him that evening. The
first words his lover had spoken to him when he walked in the door.
===============================================================================
"I'm resigning as head of your personal security. I will take the other role
Tsunade had offered, gathering intelligence in other lands."
Naruto froze, not sure how to respond. "You're… leaving?" It felt as though his
whole world had just been pulled out from under him.
Sasuke observed him for a moment. "I'm not leaving for good. I will come back
and report my findings periodically."
Naruto knew he could demand that Sasuke stay as his personal guard, but it felt
wrong to do so. He sat down, the exhaustion of the mission combining with the
shock of Sasuke's resignation.
Naruto said the only thing he could think of that might make Sasuke change his
mind. "You will not be able to participate in the targeting mission anymore."
He swore that the windows shook as Sasuke's temper snapped. "You think that's
what this is about? I don't give a fuck about the mission right now! You were
gone for a month, Naruto. A month, and we had no way to know where you were or
if you were ok. I had no way of knowing. You gave me the job of protecting you,
but you won't let me actually do it!"
Naruto blinked. Sasuke couldn't possibly mean that Naruto was more important
than Sasuke getting his final revenge. He hadn't even finished processing that
thought before he found himself pinned to the floor. Sasuke's eyes held a look
that Naruto hadn't seen since the man had first returned to the village… a
blend of anger and desperation, with an edge of madness.
"Sasuke… what the fuck? I'm exhausted. I haven't slept more than two hours a
night for almost a month. I come back and the first thing you tell me is that
you're QUITTING, and -"
Sasuke cut his words off, his mouth crushing down on his brutally. Naruto's
head was spinning, in a volatile mix of confusion, exhaustion, lust and
desperation.
Sasuke didn't let Naruto up, but he lifted his lips just enough to ask. "Do you
want me to stay?" His breath brushed over Naruto's mouth.
"I've always wanted you to stay, Sasuke. How can you even ask me that?"
"Then never do this again. If you go on a mission, I go with you. I can't keep
you safe if I'm not there."
"Sasuke. We're shinobi. Risk is part of the job description. You of all people
know that," Naruto's voice showed honest confusion. "No one would blame you if
I were killed on a mission."
Sasuke's fingers tightened and bit into Naruto's arms. "I will not let you die.
You either agree to my condition, or I am resigning."
Naruto felt a surge of almost dizzying relief at the words. There was a way
that he could keep Sasuke… a way to prevent him from leaving. "Yeah. Yes. If
that's what it takes for you to stay, then, yes."
Sasuke had kissed him again, still harshly but somehow softer, too.
"You told me before… we'd die together," Sasuke panted. "And you have to keep
your word."
"I will," Naruto replied, his hands digging into the spiky locks of Sasuke's
hair, drawing him down. "We will."
===============================================================================
Naruto held tight to those words.
This mission had been the final one. Their two final targets needed to be taken
out at the same time, but one was in the Land of Iron and the other in the Land
of Lightning. Sasuke and Naruto had agreed to each take out one target,
coordinating on the timing. It had to be perfect, since both targets had by now
realized that someone had been picking members of their group off one-by-one,
and they had their defenses ready.
Naruto had returned the day before. Sasuke was due back tonight.
It took all of Naruto's self-control to avoid teleporting to his lover, but
they had agreed that - to minimize risks of being discovered - Naruto would
only do so if Sasuke failed to show at the appointed time. They were so close
to finally achieving what they had worked years to accomplish. They couldn't
let it fall apart now.
Naruto wondered how it would change things, when it was finally over. If Sasuke
would change. If he would finally be able to let go of the past.
Of course, there would always be enemies, always be someone trying to grab
power. But it would take decades for the network of influence and secrecy that
they had finally dismantled to be built again.
Naruto watched as the sun began to set, slipping slowly down behind Hokage
Mountain. It was strange to see his own face carved on the same cliff where he
had spent so much time vandalizing as a child. His face now sharing the
mountainside with his father and the other past hokages.
He shook himself. Tonight would hopefully mark the end of dwelling on the past.
Finally, he hoped they'd be able to think about the future… something not
tainted with so much pain and darkness.
He wondered if Sasuke would finally make his decision on whether or not to
resurrect his clan. It was an option that they had only discussed once, but he
was sure it still weighed on his friend.
===============================================================================
Sai had discovered another hideout that Danzo had not destroyed before his
death. But instead of housing documents, it had housed something much more
horrific. Shikamaru, Kakashi, Tsunade, Naruto and Sasuke had been seated in the
Hokage's office when he came to give his report.
It had been the repository where Danzo had stored the remaining eyes of the
Uchiha clansmen after the massacre. Dozens and dozens of jars, carefully
preserving the power he had coveted of the clan he had destroyed.
Naruto had been horrified, his eyes immediately going to Sasuke's, fearing that
the man might become unhinged at the revelation. But Sasuke had simply listened
to Sai's account of what had been found, his face impassive.
"Obito also had several 'back-up' eyes in storage," he stated calmly. "It was a
way to mitigate the risk of being a sharingan-holder and losing his sight."
"Sasuke -" Naruto began, but cut off when Shikamaru stirred.
"Based on Sai's report, the eyes were all perfectly preserved. Likely so Danzo
could replace any of the eyes he used on his arm," Shikamaru stated carefully,
looking first to Sasuke, then to Tsunade. "That would mean the DNA inside them
is perfectly preserved."
Naruto frowned, not following the line of thinking. Sai, however, had no such
problem.
"It would be fitting if the man responsible for destroying the Uchiha clan were
also responsible for its resurrection."
Sasuke stiffened as Tsunade slowly nodded. "Yes. With this amount of genetic
diversity, we could easily revive the clan. Assuming we could find enough
surrogates in the village qualified to carry them."
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, his eyes searching Sasuke's face for some
sign of how he was handling this discussion.
"It is a simple matter to extract DNA from an existing egg and replace it with
other DNA. The notion of a single person reviving a clan is impossible. The DNA
would be too diluted, and would require too much inbreeding to make it work.
But with this, we have over a hundred different variations of Uchiha DNA. We
could combine them to provide a pure bloodline, with enough diversity to
sustain itself. There would be no need for 'outside' DNA. But the decision to
do so would need to come from the current head of the clan."
All eyes turned toward Sasuke.
Sasuke looked directly at Naruto, their gazes locked for several moments. The
slight panic, longing and uncertainty that Naruto read in the black depths made
him ache for the last Uchiha. It was a way to bring the people he had loved
back from the dead, in a certain sense… to allow their legacy to continue. But
it was a legacy that had contained much pain and violence. Sasuke had decided
before that he would not have children of his own. After everything he had
experienced, he agreed with the Second that the Sharingan bloodline was a
curse, its power too tainted by the mental instability that gave it birth. But
that had been at a time when he had only considered the option of having a
child or two of his own. Not reviving an entire clan.
"Baa-chan, he's seventeen fucking years old!" Naruto erupted. "You can't put
something like this on him right now!"
Tsunade sighed, wishing they lived in a world where children were allowed to
act their age, rather than being forced to kill by the time they were twelve,
and make decisions like this before they were even old enough to drink.
"He doesn't have to make it immediately. I will examine the nature of the
preservative used. If it is a high quality one and kept in a controlled
environment, we may have five or even ten years where the DNA can remain
viable," she said.
Sasuke nodded, still looking at Naruto. "We'll think about it." He turned and
looked at Tsunade. "If we do this, I want to first explore if there is a way to
minimize some of the side effects of the sharingan."
She considered this for a moment. "Then I would need to take some samples to
study them, and see if I can isolate some of the causes for the side effects."
"Would it be possible to take a sample from my eyes, without damaging them?"
Naruto's eyes flare wide at the question. Was Sasuke considering raising…
Itachi's child?
"Yes. It is a simple procedure."
Sasuke had merely nodded, his face tight with many conflicting emotions.
"You're still only a teenager. There's no rush to make the decision. When the
time comes, we can discuss how families would be selecting to raise them, and
how their training would progress, should you choose to do so."
"Thank you. For giving me the choice," Sasuke's voice was tight with controlled
emotion. Many kage's would simply make the decision themselves, ensuring that a
powerful bloodline was retained. Sasuke knew that Tsunade did not need to allow
him the choice, given that he still had only questionable standing in the
village. Perhaps if the past Hokage's had been more like her, this would never
have come to pass. But it was a useless thought, and didn't change reality.
Tsunade smiled slightly. "You're welcome, brat. I'll let you know when you'll
need to decide by. Just make sure you're ready before you make your decision.
Once it's done, there's no going back."
===============================================================================
According to Tsunade, they still had about two years for the DNA of the
preserved samples to still be viable. But Sasuke would have to make the call
soon.
A small smile flashed across Naruto's face as he imagined Sasuke trying to
teach fifty little brats how to throw a kunai. The Uchiha had always trained
their own, with the academy only being 'additional' training. He knew that if
Sasuke really went ahead with this, he would not shirk his duties.
Naruto leaned back on the stone, thinking about Sasuke actually building
something, rather than tearing something down. He wouldn't push Sasuke to
decide either way, but he hoped the man would choose to bring the clan back.
There had been a slow but steady growing acceptance of Sasuke's presence in the
village. And while they didn't flaunt their relationship, they lived together
openly in Sasuke's home and people didn't treat them differently because of it.
TenTen had already said she would be more than happy to carry an Uchiha child,
or even several if Sasuke decided to go ahead. She had never married, and
Naruto suspected she still mourned Neji. Naruto grinned slightly. Any child of
hers would definitely have a leg up on weapons practice. He was pretty sure
Sakura would be willing to, as well. Lee would approve since the man never
seemed to run out of energy in caring for their own child.
Of course, they would need many families to take them in, but slowly the stigma
of the Uchiha name was fading. They would vet all the prospective families
thoroughly to make sure that the children were accepted and treated well.
Tsunade would work with the DNA samples to ensure maximum genetic variation in
whatever children were born, to sustain the bloodline going forward.
It was a daunting prospect. But one that Naruto knew Sasuke would be able to
handle if he decided to do so. And it would give him a new purpose. One that
was finally positive.
His senses prickled, and relief washed over him.
Sasuke was approaching the village.
Naruto stood, brushing off the dirt from his robes. Sasuke was just on the edge
of his ability to sense chakra, still at least two miles out from the village.
"Later, old man," he said affectionately to the stones. He turned and headed
quickly back towards the village, where another memorial stone stood. This one
much larger and more formal.
Naruto let his chakra surge, knowing Sasuke would be able to feel it, and would
change course to meet him there rather than going to the Hokage tower or back
to their house.
In a few minutes, he felt a familiar presence behind him and turned, his eyes
drinking in the form of his lover. Sasuke lifted the mask from his face,
allowing Naruto to see him fully. He appeared unharmed, if exhausted.
"It's done," Sasuke said, his voice betraying none of the emotion that surely
must be flooding through him to know that - finally - the last of the people
who had been responsible for the destruction of his clan were brought to
justice.
He looked at Naruto, a question in his eyes that the Hokage answered.
"I had them come today and add his name. There's no need for secrecy anymore,"
Naruto gestured toward the memorial stone, indicating a section off to the
side.
Sasuke stood still for a moment, his throat working convulsively.
He drew a breath, then walked slowly over to where Naruto had indicated,
looking down at the freshly engraved name he found there.
Sasuke lifted his hand, ignoring the way it trembled as he traced his fingers
over the fresh lettering. The name was small, like all the others on the
memorial stone. Placed off to the side, where other new names had been added.
But it was there. Recognition for the order that had been given. The life that
had been destroyed. The clan that had been forsaken.
Uchiha Itachi.
Sasuke closed his eyes, so many memories and emotions flooding through him. His
brother's calm acceptance of his prodigy status when he was made Anbu at such a
young age. Then captain. The smile Itachi would give him on those rare moments
when they had time to sleep in and Sasuke would climb into his big brother's
bed just to spend time with him.
The times he would watch Itachi training, his eyes wide in amazed admiration at
the perfection of his brother. The drive he had felt to earn a place at his
side, to try to be his equal if he could not surpass him. His childhood
imaginings of Itachi becoming Hokage with Sasuke serving in Anbu under him. The
dreams of his youth, so brutally shattered.
He knew that the things he had once wished for as a child would never come to
pass.
But at least there was an acknowledgement made of the sacrifice of all those
dreams. The destruction of all that potential. It didn't make it right. But it
possibly made it… survivable.
Sasuke wasn't aware of the wetness on his cheeks until he felt a hand gently
wipe it away.
He opened his eyes to meet Naruto's blue gaze. There was a shared sense of
respect and grief in their depths. Sasuke felt his lungs slowly begin to work
again, realizing that they had been frozen before. Naruto understood pain and
loss. He understood what Itachi had done and what had happened to them. He
understood.
And despite all the things that Sasuke had done to drive him away, all the risk
of finding himself once again shunned by the village for doing so, and with
nothing for Naruto to gain from it, Naruto had brought the truth about Itachi
to light, and recognized it for the tragedy it was. He had kept his word, and
changed the system of power in the Hidden Villages so that it could not happen
again.
"Thank you." Sasuke's voice was low, constricted with emotion.
Naruto gave him a lopsided smile, his hand automatically going to rub the back
of his head like it always did when he felt embarrassed. "I said I would."
Sasuke felt his own lips twitch in response, a warm feeling suddenly easing the
constriction in his throat and chest. It was going to be ok.
The call of a crow drew both men's attention to a nearby tree. Their eyes
widened as they slowly turned in a circle. The entire copse was filled with
crows, watching them silently. The one that had made the sound called again,
the sound sharp and clear in the silence of the clearing.
The bird looked directly at them, it's bright, intelligent eyes unblinking as
it tilted its head to one side, observing them. Naruto decided he must be more
tired than he had thought, but somehow he felt that this was the same bird that
had observed him from Sasuke's window years ago.
Time seemed to slow as the gazes of the two men and the bird held. Then
suddenly the forest was in motion as the great flock of crows lifted into
flight, circling once overhead before flying off over the forest.
Sasuke watched them silently, a sense of peace settling over him. He turned
towards Naruto.
"Let's go home."
The use of that word brought Naruto up short. Sasuke had never referred to the
village as home in all the years since his return. Naruto searched his face,
then slowly smiled.
"Yeah. Let's go home."
===============================================================================
THE END.
Author's note: Sorry there is no smut in this chapter, but I was writing the
scene with the memorial stone and I really couldn't put it in. Itachi's
character and his death(s) in canon were very hard for me due to real life
tragedies that you really don't want to know about. I connect very much with
his character and the story of his manipulation by the village and banishment
and tragic death. So I just didn't want to cheapen this final epilogue with a
bunch of sex. And I know, you are all like, 'bitch, please, you write fanfic.
It is ALL cheap', and I don't dispute it but I just… couldn't put smut in here.
Some smexy oneshots will be coming in a sidefic collection (probably cleverly
named 'HtB sidefics' or something equally original). So I am not gypping you,
I'm just separating it out. Humor me and my angsty self.
The science I described in this fic is completely real and already has been
used, though the ethics of creating 'designer babies' is hotly contested. It
still requires a woman willing to act as a surrogate to carry the child to
term, but none of her DNA is actually in the baby.
  Works inspired by this one
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!