Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3152591.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Star_Wars:_The_Clone_Wars_(2008)_-_All_Media_Types
  Relationship:
      CT-7567_|_Rex/Ahsoka_Tano, Echo/Ahsoka, Fives/OC/OC, Clones/Clones,
      CLones/OC, Cut_Lawquane/Suu_Lawquane, Boil/Waxer/Numa
  Character:
      Ahsoka_Tano, CT-7567_|_Rex, CT-21-0408_|_Echo, CT-27-5555_|_Fives_|_ARC-
      5555, CC-2224_|_Cody, Lawquane_Family, Chopper_of_Kamino, Clones_-
      Character, Jester, Sketch
  Series:
      Part 1 of Haruu
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-01-10 Updated: 2016-04-09 Chapters: 20/? Words: 215743
****** Haruu ******
by Reulte
Summary
     What happens after Order 66...
***** Duet *****
                               Ahsoka Tano, Jedi
Once she had been a warrior.
Haruu. Haruu. It was from a song of her people, so old even the eldest could
not name its origins.
Haruu. Haruu. It had no real translation. It was something mothers whispered to
their children to hush tears and heal their skinned knees, something to comfort
them late at night.
She had known other warriors. 
They had fought together. He had taught her the virtues of experience.
They had laughed together. She had taught him the virtues of play. 
Haruu. Haruu. 
They had cried together; weeping over lost men and the broken bodies of
brothers in arms.
They had shared fire and water and salt. They had shared food and the dangers
of battle.
Haruu. Haruu. 
One day they had shared innocent kisses, soft and tender.
Haruu. Haruu. 
She had been made a knight. They had cut her braid of beads and she had given
it to her fellow warrior with strong arms and straight aim; with honey-brown
eyes and soft lips.
Haruu. Haruu. Tears fell from her eyes as she rocked back and forth.
One night they had shared soulful kisses wrapped in desire.
Haruu. Haruu. 
They had shared fire and water and salt. They had shared the comfort of their
bodies. They had shared the joy of their spirits.
Haruu. Haruu. 
When she woke he was not there, but she felt the warmth of his arms around her,
smelled his scent upon the bedclothes. She touched his despair through the
Force, his self-loathing for what he thought had done. 
Haruu. Haruu. 
She had been hurt, angered, and said words she'd regretted even as they escaped
her lips. He had been hurt, angered and his face had hardened into stone. 
Haruu. Haruu. 
She returned to Coruscant, to the temple and soon learned she would have a
child. Her heart broke at what they would ask of her. Her heart was remade at
what decided she would do. 
She had stood firm, facing warriors of greater age, greater ability and greater
wisdom. They had expelled her from the order. They had taken her light saber
and disassembled it. That should have been her master's duty, but he had looked
at her with sorrowing eyes and handed the silver crystal weapon back. Other
masters had declined her light saber but in the end, it was dismantled. She was
no longer a Jedi. 
She had returned to her home world, to the lands of her family; neither in
disgrace nor in triumph; simply returned. Her clan welcomed the hunter that
was. Her family welcomed the child to be. 
Ahsoka's face was sweaty, her body weak, her spirit exhilarated. She reached
out for the child in her mother's arms and he was handed to her. She inspected
him, running her nose along his face for his scent. He had a thatch of dark
hair; his eyes were a smoky blue. She wondered if they'd turn a soft honey-
brown like his father's. He was perfect. He stretched his arms, opened his
mouth and gave a shiver. She held him to her breast and pressed her nipple into
his tiny mouth. 
Haruu, haruu, little one. Welcome to the world. 
Once she had been a warrior. Now, she was a mother. 
 
                              Captain Rex, Clone
Once he had been a soldier. 
He was trained to kill. 
He'd been bred and trained for war. He'd come out of Kamino to Geonosis with
144 troopers under his command. He had fulfilled his training, knowing nothing
else. He had killed.
At Christophsis, they'd sent a kid to the battlefield. She may have been a
Jedi, she may have been part of the Force but in the end she was just a kid. In
his opinion, she shouldn't have been there. Never mind that she'd saved his
life and the lives of his brothers, more than once. Whoever had sent her to the
front deserved to die slowly and painfully. He would have killed whoever had
ordered that if he had known. 
He'd seen her grow from a child to a woman in those two years. He'd seen her
cry when men didn't come back. He'd see her try hard, harder to protect her
men, seen her try to lift their spirits, seen her show them they were
individuals. He'd seen the general ignore her more and more, absorbed in
something or someone else. He's seen the lost look in her eyes. One day, he'd
given her a kiss. He didn't know why. He would have killed himself if she had
asked.
He compounded his mistake when he'd raped her. Never mind that she was willing.
Never mind that it had been after battle and his blood was boiling with the
thrill of being alive. Never mind that she was the most wonderful person he'd
ever met. Never mind that she had cried out with pleasure and held him with no
less passion. Never mind that she did not leave his bunk that night. Never mind
that she had reach for him in the early hours of the next morning and he had
taken her into his arms again. She was too young. He knew he should have killed
lust for love.
She found him in the mess. She had spoken soft words and looked at him with
sparkling eyes. She touched him with hands still warm from his caresses. He'd
turned a deaf ear to her words, bowed his head before her eyes and jerked his
hand back from her touches. He had turned to stone. He could have killed his
brothers, witnesses to his silence. 
Then she was gone. He didn't know where, though he found out quickly enough,
one night out of boredom, when he thought he had nothing better to do. She had
returned to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. She, who had been the brightness of
Torrent Company; who had been the touchstone for all the men, something fine
and beautiful and compassionate, something to symbolize why they were fighting.
He knew his brothers felt like killing him. 
At Order 66 he stood beside his general. He told himself he was there to follow
orders; to eradicate the traitors but he lied. As he raced through the
corridors of the Jedi temple, he searched for a slim Jedi even while firing
upon the temple’s inhabitants. He lost men to Jedi light sabers and turned his
blasters on the Jedi. He hadn't found her. He'd found bodies, old and young,
too young to even understand the word 'traitor'. He found Fives throwing up in
the corner of one of the rooms, his blaster hanging, forgotten, in one hand. He
found Echo staring sightlessly out a window, blaster hot in his hands. He found
Jester trembling, shaking, crying; his face pressed against his blaster, skin
blistering from the heat of the barrel. He found General Skywalker, red eyed
and deadly, and he was, for the first time in his life, terrified. He should
have killed the general.
In the early morning of the next day Rex looked out at the sky red with flame
and black with smoke. He took his blaster and his armor. In the early morning,
Rex gestured to Echo, put his hand on Fives’ shoulder, and pulled Jester out of
medical, his face not totally healed. No one stopped them; they looked official
in their armor. They looked dangerous with their blasters. They simply walked
onto a transport going somewhere else. 
Once he had been a soldier. Now he was a traitor.
***** Following Order 66 *****
                            One Year after Order 66
Ahsoka watched Barin as he toddled across the room, chewing on his fists. He
removed his wet fingers to babble a few words, none intelligible to Ahsoka, but
her sister, Aureki, claimed to understand some of those babbles.
As always, she was amazed at his perfection. His eyes had darkened to honey
brown and sometimes her breath caught as she saw other men behind those eyes.
She hadn't expected his dark hair to turn pale cream then the golden of his
father's mutation. He didn't have lekku, but he did have rudimentary montrals
and the echolocation senses. From his father he had inherited a perfect sense
of balance, of knowing where he was in relation to those things around him. He
had inherited perfect pitch, another gift of the clones’ perfection. Every day
was a revelation of delight.
He was not Force sensitive and for that, Ahsoka was more grateful than she
could understand. There was a bounty on all Jedi and Force-sensitive children.
She didn't expect that to be resolved for a long time. Moreover, he was half
Togruta and would never be totally accepted by her people. His father had been
clone and there was no home to be had there either. To add Force sensitivity to
his burdens would have made life so much more difficult than it was already
going to be.
Still, he was loved. Ahsoka laughed as Barin bent and inspected the underside
of the table with an intensity that elicited her own curiosity. She crawled on
her knees and looked under the table. There was nothing there. She turned her
head to Barin and he grabbed at her, burbling happily. She rolled on her back
and tickled him, laughing as she enjoyed his squeals of delight. She let him go
and he ran to hid behind a chair. On all fours, she stalked him.
Ahsoka hid herself from showing in the Force. Painfully and tearfully she had
cut her connections with her past as Jedi; she rejected her master, with the
men who'd fought with her and then destroyed the Jedi temple, massacring all
within its tall walls. Ahsoka had severed herself from Rex; that had hurt the
most and would never be completely gone.
She could not make her life's decisions with regard to the past. She could not
look to some future when there were so many possibilities, so many of them
dark. There was only the now.
Ahsoka regained her Togrutan heritage. She suppressed the individuality that
was anathema to her people. She hunted with the other hunters for her family
and clan. She was joyful. She learned how to be Togruta, how to live on Shili.
If sometimes she went out at night to look at the stars, her sisters didn't
mention it. If she sometimes went hunting akul alone, her brothers didn't speak
of it. If sometimes she seemed lost in memories, her mothers let her be. If she
sometimes sat solitary on the stones, her fathers let her be.
One day she would have to leave. Her son would not fit into the clan – child of
a Jedi knight and a clone captain, he'd be too individualistic for her people.
She knew that one day she'd need to return to other worlds. Her home was not
where her heart lived.
When the time came, she would open herself to the Force, to find out where she
should go.
Barin came and patted her, pushed her from her stalking position and crawled
into her lap to feed. She smiled lazily. There was no hurry.
From the two most impatient men in the galaxy, Ahsoka had learned patience.
                           Two years after Order 66
Jester and his brothers went to the Outer Rim where their lack of citizenship
didn't prevent them from earning credits. They changed their armor; destroying
the identifiers built into the helmets, modifying it to suit their new needs,
their new wants and their new identities.
They worked mostly as bodyguards or took dangerous work requiring strength,
silence, and physical prowess. Jester thought they were good at it. Other
people thought so as well and the credits came. Not quick, but sufficient. They
were still cautious. Traitor clones carried a bounty almost as high as the
Jedi. Jester found dark amusement in knowing that he was worth more than he
owned.
He was usually the front man, talking trade. People tended to look at Jester's
half-melted scar rather than any identifying features of his face. He
emphasized this in ways both subtle and sublime; reversing what he'd seen
Chopper do long ago to hide his scars. Jester grew his hair shoulder length and
braided beads in strands along his face; bright beads on the scarred side,
matte colors on the unscarred side, often dying stripes of different shades
into his hair or painting tattoos on his skin. He wore face paint as social
camouflage. Sometimes, he limped; people remembered a limp and it was easily
discarded. He acted loud, gregarious, adopted wide gestures, rude jokes and
ruder behavior. Rex, Echo and Fives stayed in the background, always in armor,
always in helmets.
Jester had always considered himself to be quiet; reserved, a solitary loner, a
reader like Echo. Jester preferred stories and puzzles to Echo's enjoyment of
instructions and science. Jester didn't like too much social interaction, but
this needed doing and his face made him the best-suited for it.
Someone offered them a semi-legal job for relatively low pay to a planet called
Saleucami and Jester was about to turn it down when he'd glanced at Rex who
nodded. The job offered no problems. After receiving payment, Rex declared a
holiday and laughingly took them out on a 35-klick run into farmland.
Rex got cautious as they neared what was obviously pasture and cropland. He
warned them to be wary but to use no force and, as a brother rounded a tree, a
deece in hand and a wide, surprised grin on his face, they understood why.
Jester felt happy. It was good to see they weren't the only clones who'd
escaped.
His name was Cut Lawquane and gripped Rex's arm in greeting as he nodded to the
others.  "Times are a little rougher than they used to be," he gave a nod at
his military deece. "I've had to scare off a few drifters."
Rex clasped hands with the farmer and turned to his men. "Cut, this is Echo,
Fives and Jester. My crew. Cut Lawquane, farmer and the only man I know who
destroyed fourteen commando droid by himself."
Cut laughed as he gave a depreciating half-grin but he didn't deny it and
Jester was impressed.
They walked down to the farm, a lean Twi'lek girl and a lean Twi'lek boy
running to meet them coming up the speeder lane, A woman in the doorway of the
house held a long rifle at the ready in her capable hands - in case.
As they drew closer, Jester noticed the woman's face was thin with dark circles
under her eyes and there was a round ball of weight centered on her belly. She
was pregnant. Jester's breath caught in his heart. This brother had a family.
He turned back to Cut who had both pride and worry in his dark eyes as he
nodded to the woman.  Tiredly, she lowered the weapon and turned back into the
small house.
Jester helped Cut fix dinner while the Cut's son, Jek, made sure the eopies
were secure and helped Fives pull out some coverlets to set up sleeping
arrangements in the barn. Shaeeah, Cut's daughter, was catching the nuna and
penning them for the night with help from Echo who had the hard part of chasing
the quick, agile creatures. Suu went up to rest, Rex offering his arm as she
climbed the stairs.
Suu didn't come down for dinner and Cut fixed a plate for her. He was upstairs
for a long while and it was Shaeeah who headed the table.
"Mom isn't having an easy time and dad's frightened for her." She spoke softly
as she served them large portions of the roast and vegetables, taking a smaller
amount for herself and Jek. "Mom says it's the work. It's our busy time of the
year and there's so much to do with harvest that we're all exhausted by
bedtime."
"We'll stay for a while, Shaeeah," Rex spoke. "We don't know a lot about
farming…"
Jek laughed, "Like dad when he first came here."
Rex and Fives had laughed at that, Echo and Jester smiled, "Very much like
that." Rex agreed. "But we'll work hard and we learn fast."
"That would be great," said Cut as he came downstairs and sat with them, the
worry outweighing the pride in his eyes. After dinner, Shaeeah and Cut cleared
the table. Jek washed the dishes with only a minimum of fuss and it was easy to
see the entire family was worried.
Cut laid his blaster on the table with the cartridge removed. "Disassemble and
clean it, Shaeeah." He looked at the soldiers around her, "If one of you would
supervise?" he asked as he picked up the rifle. "I have rounds to do." Rex rose
to go with him and Jester nodded, sitting next to the girl as she started on
the weapon. After a quick inspection of his face, the painted tatoos and the
beads, neither Shaeeah nor Jek stared at him. They knew it wasn't his true
face.
"Mom and dad say Saleucami's getting rougher than it used to be." Shaeeah told
Jester as her fingers moved over the blaster. She wasn't fast but Cut had been
thorough in teaching her and she didn't pause or hesitate. "About once a week,
a drifter comes and tries to steal something. Usually a nuna or eggs.
Occasionally something from the barn. It really upsets Mom. She's scared the
drifters will hurt me or Jek or dad. She hates seeing us with the weapons."
Jester nodded noncommittally. "I haven't seen much of the war from this side
until pretty recent. I guess you know who and what I am."
"Like dad. A soldier and a clone." She looked at him.
He tilted his head in thought. "I use to be a soldier. Not anymore. Being a
clone was simply the way I began. Now I’m just Jester; doing what I have to do
to keep us together, to keep us safe."
"Does it hurt?" she asked, recognizing the scar as real in his face. Her
fingers reached up to his face without touching him.
"Not much. It hurts less than not having it would hurt." Jester remembered what
he'd done in the Jedi temple, what he would have become if Rex hadn't taken
him.
She looked at him through narrowed eyes, her fingers pausing. "Is that one of
those grown-up ‘you’ll understand when you’re older’ answers?"
He laughed. "No. It's a soul answer."
"I heard that clones don't have souls, that they're barely capable of thought."
Shaeeah watched him carefully. She’d heard it on one of the radio program and
the one time she'd mentioned it to dad; he'd walked out of the room all pale
and scary. But she was older now, more grown-up and it seemed important.
Jester smiled. "Do you believe that? Either part of that? Of your dad? Of Rex
or any of us here now? Do you believe that we're less than other people? Do you
believe we can't think or love or enjoy good stories and good company?"
Shaeeah paused a moment, thinking then returned her attention to the blaster.
"No."
"Then you don't have to worry about it anymore, do you?"
"I guess not." She smiled. "I like your voice. It has honey in it."
Jester laughed. "My first compliment. Thank you."
The blaster was clean and reassembled, lying on the table. Jester was telling
Shaeeah and Jek one of the fables he'd read, Fives and Echo listening in, when
Rex and Cut returned. They sat down, quiet and listening until Jester finished.
Jek had fallen asleep and Fives picked him up and mounted the stairs. Shaeeah,
yawning, went first to show him where the bedroom was.
"What's this I hear about the Jedi being traitors?" asked Cut in a low voice.
He could see the question hurt, and immediately regretted asking it but it was
out now and there was no taking it back. Echo looked down at his hands on the
table; Jester looked down to his hands in his lap, neither man willing to
begin.
"I don't know," replied Rex softly. "We were part of the 501st that stormed the
Jedi temple on Coruscant and I'm still not sure what happened." He was silent
for a moment. "It was supposed to be a moment of glory; the defeat of the
traitors to the Republic after their illegal attempt to arrest Chancellor
Palpatine. We went in and killed everyone and everything alive in there.
Including children. Including babies barely old enough to walk."
Rex's voice caught and they could all hear the tears. There was a soft whimper
from Jester and tears streaming down Echo's cheeks.
Rex not finished with his story, continued. "The general was a Jedi, one of the
good guys, we thought, and not part of the Jedi coup. He led us into the
temple. He killed a group of younglings in less time than it takes to think
about it." Rex shuddered and Cut placed his arm over the other's shoulders in
support.
"Remember what I said about being part of the most pivotal moment in history?
We failed because we didn't stand up against that act. Evil has prevailed. I
came here because my family out there doesn't exist anymore. Now my family is
Echo, Fives and Jester. Fives was puking his guts out, Echo contemplating
suicide and Jester was in a corner crying with his blaster pressed to his face.
I couldn't leave him in med bay alone when we ran and we had to get out
immediately."
Echo pressed the heels of his fisted hands to his eyes clearing his tears.
Fives had come down the stairs and understood immediately what they were
talking about. He'd gone into the kitchen to wait. Jester heard the running of
water, Fives splashing his face.
"Any other troopers run like that?" asked Cut.
"I've heard of a couple, saw a clone bounty hunter once but didn't know who it
was. I heard that a few of the Jedi escaped. Don't know who. Echo might, he
researches." Rex glanced toward Echo.
"Anytime you want to know, I'll tell you what I have." Echo's voice was somber.
Cut nodded, stood and Rex stood with him.
"Gentlemen, our beds await. I think tomorrow with be a busy day."
The next day, Cut paired with Rex, Shaeeah with Echo and Jek with Fives as they
went on their tasks. Jester stayed in the house with Suu while she slept late
then bringing breakfast to her bed. He insisted she sleep or rest. When she
wanted to go outside on the porch to enjoy the day, he set up a chair with
cushions, a cover and a place to set her feet up. He assisted her down the
stairs with a strong arm. He called her ma'am and she smiled absently. He also
rested; they had decided to begin night watches and he had the first night. He
pulled the beads out of his hair, washed himself in the cold water of the barn
trough and came to sit before her, damp and newly clean. He asked her to cut
his hair. When she asked how he wanted it cut, he said 'short'. He felt reborn
as black hair fell to the porch.
The weeks passed quickly with the hard work on the farm, but Jester knew their
presence made a difference. After a few encounters with the ex-troopers,
drifters no longer came by the farm. Suu no longer had dark circles under her
eyes and laughed about how she moved with all the grace of a bantha. Jester
made it his priority to ensure her every need was answered. Shaeeah and Jek had
time in the evening to go over studies. Echo and Fives assisted, usually taking
opposite sides of every debate. Rex and Cut played dejarik like two old
patriarchs. There was peacefulness that soothed Jester's troubled soul.
Jester was washing the dishes while Suu sat at the table. He'd just finished
telling her a joke when he noticed she looked at him oddly and her words scared
him.
"Cut, what happened to your face?"
She was looking at him quizzically and she stood. Jester was moving his hands
from the water in some battle-honed instinct when her eyes went back in her
head and she dropped. He caught her before she hit the floor. Her back arched
and her limbs stiffened in a convulsion.
He was on the comm link immediately, his normally soft voice in command
decisiveness. "Cut. Echo. Get back to the house. Rex, take the speeder and get
a medic. Suu's having convulsions." He was glad they'd done a practice run.
Pulling a coverlet off the couch for her, Jester did what he could to make her
comfortable on the floor. She woke a little and looked at him, reaching for
him, smiling. "Cut, lie down and hold me.  I'm cold." Then her eyes rolled back
and she convulsed again.
Jester was counting minutes when Cut pulled open the door, breathing hard, hair
no longer neatly tied back. Suu was lying on the floor with Jester at her side.
Before Cut lay beside his wife, her glazed eyes opened to Jester and she lay
her hand on his face, "I love you, Cut."
Jester replied, "I love you too, Suu." Then she smiled, closed her eyes, and
Jester looked to Cut. "Get down here. She's about to..."
Cut dropped to the floor beside Suu. Jester released her into Cut's arms as she
convulsed, her back arching, her limbs stiffening. As Cut held her, Jester
wiped the sweat from her face with a cool rag.
Echo was there then, with Shaeeah who quickly paled and sat at the table, out
of the way. He quickly checked her vitals, and hissed between his teeth. "Stay
with us, Suu. Jester, convulsions duration and time?"
"Three convulsions, about three to five seconds duration. Twenty minutes
apart." Jester replied. "But she's not coherent in-between.”
Then Echo was on the wrist com. "Rex when you get someone, tell her it's
probably eclampsia."
Cut let out a garbled plea. "She's got three more weeks."
Echo shook his head. "I don't think so. The medic will probably have to do a c-
sec to save her life. We need some magnesium sulfate. Shaeeah, find some. It's
like bath salts or hot soak."
Shaeeah was quickly on her feet, running to the linen closet.
Cut looked as though he were going to cry. "Not my Suu. Not my baby." He held
her in his arms. Shaeeah was back with a box and a jar, her face pale. Jester
took them and read the labels, setting aside the jar in favor of the box.
"Expect another convulsion, soon," said Jester even as Suu's eyelids fluttered
and she opened her eyes.
"I'm thirsty, Cut. Please get me something to drink." Her eyes fluttered shut
and she shuddered then convulsed again. Cut held her, tears in his eyes.
They heard Shaeeah in the kitchen, getting water. When she came into the room,
her face was still pale, but stoic. She passed the glass to Jester sitting next
to her mother. He smiled wanly at her and took it, pouring a small handful of
the magnesium salt into it. She sat next to him and he gave her a quick,
comforting hug as he passed the glass to Echo.
"Why don't you made something for Fives and Jek and take it out to them," Echo
suggested and Shaeeah nodded, moving to the kitchen.
Echo and Cut got Suu awake sufficiently that they felt they wouldn't drown her
pouring the mix down her throat.  The magnesium broke the convulsion cycle for
a short time.
Before they heard the speeder truck, Suu woke up twice more, had another,
milder convulsion. Rex came in, grim-faced, carrying a medical kit in one hand,
pushing an angry Twi'lek in front of him looking suspiciously like a kidnap
victim.
"Do." He commanded and the doctor, confronted with a patient in obvious need,
lost his anger and did. Jester and Rex went outside, Fives and the kids joined
them after a while, coming from the barn.
There wasn't much noise and that scared Jester. On the battlefield, no noise
meant dead men. The living made noise. Moans, groans, cries, pleas, curses,
screams, sobs. Only the dead were silent.
Cut came outside, sweating. There was strain on his face, scratches and bruises
on his arm from Suu's grip. He sat heavily on the bench and put his face in his
hands. "He's not sure he can save both. He wanted me to choose."
No one asked.
"Do you want me to go in and help," asked Jester.
"No, I'll go back in a few minutes. Echo ordered me out for at least a walk
around the barn and house." He stood and Jester stood with him.
"Come on then," said the trooper.
"I'd prefer alone," said Cut.
Jester shook his head. "No brother should go through this alone." He put his
arm around Cut's shoulder. "I've got your back, Cut. Let's walk."
Jester saw that the offer alone brought more tears to Cut's haggard face.
They returned shortly and Cut went back into the house. It was getting on
toward nightfall and Fives took Jek to make sure the eopies were secure. Rex
and Shaeeah secured the nuna. Then Rex handed her his blaster and they went on
rounds.
Jester went back into the small house that was so quiet and did what he could
to help. The doctor said that if all went well, Suu would need bed rest for
several weeks. Jester went and changed the linens on the bed. Echo said a pre-
mature child would need to be kept warm. Jester collected blankets. He handed
drinks of juice to the three men. He noticed Suu's hands contracting in cramps
and massaged them.
Finally the doctor said, "This is too long with no progress; time for
intervention. You," he pointed to Cut. "And you," The same finger turned to
Jester. "Need to hold her. I've given her what I can, but it will still be
painful. Make sure her hands come nowhere near the incision and one of you, be
ready for the baby."
He turned to Echo, "Ready to assist?"
Echo nodded, jaw firm against his emotions.
Suu screamed once as her hands reached downward to discover the pain, but they
held her hands and Cut whispered into her face. "Suu, I love you. Please, just
a few seconds. Remember when I first came here? I loved you right away. Just a
few seconds and we'll have a baby. Suu, what will we name him or her? Suu, Suu.
Please stay with me."
The Twi’lek reached into Suu and pulled out the baby, wet and red, and handed
it to Echo who held it at an upside down angle for a moment then gave a tired,
lop-sided grin as the child sucked in a breath and squalled. The cord was
quickly tied off and cut. Echo handed the child to Jester who cradled it in his
arms, terrified of damaging the tiny child. Echo turned back to assist the
doctor with the process of mending the incision in Suu's pink skin.
Suu took in big gulping breaths as Cut now held both her hands captive in a
one-handed grip, caressing her face with his free hand. "It's ok, love. We have
a baby. Don't go, Suu. I love you. I don't know what to do without you. Don't
leave, Suu."
Jester noticed it first, her attention was back. Her words removed all doubt.
"Where would I go without you, Cut?" Her voice was weak. Relieved, Cut kissed
her, stroked her lekku, her face, her arms, her hands, tears of joy in his
eyes.
The doctor gave her an antibiotic and a pain patch for Cut to carry her
upstairs to the bed then turned to the babe in Jester's arms. Poked and
prodded, the baby's squalls turned into a full-throated crying roar.
"Better get this one upstairs to mother," chuckled the doctor as he began
packing his bag and Jester carefully carried the precious child up the stairs,
protected in his strong arms. Echo was sprawled on his back in the mess of
water, blood and juice which someone had tipped over.
"I do not ever want to do that again," he gasped to the ceiling.
"You did not bad for a combat medic." The doctor had obviously made the
connection of the five mostly-identical men. "If you stay on Saleucami, I could
train you a little better. You could make good money."
"Thanks for the offer,” replied Echo, still staring at the ceiling. “But I
don't think so. I was never a medic."
"Then you did very well." grinned the older Twi-lek.
Jester smiled at that as he took the baby up the last few steps.
The baby was a boy and Echo told Jester that someone's count must have been off
or it was the Twi'lek-human mix because he was healthy and full term weight.
Cut asked Suu if they could name the child Keeli River and Jester knew he'd
been with Captain Keeli's River Company. They'd lost a troop carrier not long
after Geonosis, the rest of the company on Ryloth sometime later.
Rex would look at the child with wide, sad eyes. Jester knew the captain was
wondering what a child of his would look like. Having seen Keeli River
Lawquane, they all wondered what their own child might look like.
Jester spent a lot of time holding the child, running errands for Suu, reading
to her as she recovered and carrying the boy for her as she slowly regained her
strength over the weeks. It would be a long time before she was healed, before
she could work the farm with Cut. Cut's family needed his brother.
When Rex left Saleucami, his family was short one member. Jester stayed.
                          Three years after Order 66
Aureki thought Barin was a perfect child. A bit stubborn, perhaps. More
individual than her people liked, but so was Ahsoka and Ahsoka was her beloved
sister. Beloved for having been gone so long. Beloved for returning. Beloved
for sharing Barin.
Ahsoka was the hunter while she was the ta-harr – the fire-keeper, the keeper
of the home. She was proud of her work. Their home was comfortable, welcoming,
and warm; with a bit of childish mess. There was no mistaking that this home
had a child. She took care of Barin while Ahsoka hunted and Barin called her
'mama' as well. It was no oddity to have two mothers in a home. The oddity was
having no father but no one among the clan would have Aureki and Ahsoka would
have no one among the clan.
Barin was four and Ahsoka was showing him an akul tooth, explaining its dangers
and why they hunted the akul. He was uncomfortable in his white cotton pants
and kept pulling at the waist; clothing was the introduction to the world of
older children. Most children would pull off their clothing at first chance,
Barin hadn't. He recognized it as a change in status. He delighted in playing
with the older children who often wouldn't play with the ‘babies’ who ran
naked.
Ahsoka and Aureki sat, cross-legged, on the soft pelt rug and laughed while
Barin pretended to hunt the akul under a table and behind a desk. The fire was
a warm glow, perfect for the oncoming chill of the evening, and they'd already
eaten. Barin had been bathed and his golden hair glistened sunset red with the
fire's reflection.
The akul under the table died and Barin came to his two mothers and, plopping
himself down between them, smiled. "Tell me a story about da."
Aureki saw Ahsoka's mouth twitched in sorrow that she would not show. There was
sorrow in Ahsoka's heart and some small anger. Ahsoka had told her that Barin’s
father had insulted her, refused her. In spite of Ahsoka’s anger, there was so
much love for him that Aureki sometimes cried herself to sleep at night simply
to know her sister had loved this much.
Ahsoka reached behind her and grabbed the holovid stand. It was Barin's
favorite because, in a way, it was about him. She set it on and the blue light
reflected in the room, merging with the fire's red glow to give a more life-
like color to the hologram. A man stood in the light, a warrior in honor-marked
armor, firing blasters. He glanced behind him and waved onward as he gracefully
pushed himself forward from the boulder he stood on. Several more warriors ran
on either side of him.
"Echo gave me this before I left. He pulled it from Fives' helmet vid and
thought I would like it." Ahsoka smiled softly.
Then she continued in a stronger voice, a teaching voice. "That's your da,
Barin. When I knew him, he was Captain of Torrent Company in the 501st. He is a
fine warrior and you are very much like him."
The holo changed and the man was out of uniform, eating off a tray, obviously
surprised and a little miffed, to Aureki's eyes, to be the subject of Ahsoka's
holocam. It was also very evident to Aureki that this man was Barin's father.
From his golden hair to the eyes of honey brown, Aureki knew what Barin would
look like in twenty years. Perhaps with a narrower chin and softer lips, the
form of rudimentary montrals, the heritage of his birth-mother, giving a
slightly different shape to his skull.
The hologram flared and another scene came up and Barin gave a small cheer. It
was Barin's favorite. Aureki sighed. A boy's favorite, a warrior's favorite.
The captain and another man, Ahsoka identified him as Echo, were fighting.
Ahsoka said it was practice, but it looked entirely serious to Aureki. The men
moved stealthily with quick moves and throws, punches and kicks that seemed as
though they'd be deadly or incapacitating. But at the end of the holo, the two
men had laughed and the captain had put his hand down to help his defeated
brother rise from the padded floor.
Except for the golden hair of the captain, the men looked identical. Ahsoka had
explained that to Aureki although to Barin she had simply said "They are
twin brothers."
Then there was the last holo. Ahsoka's favorite as well as Aureki's because it
seemed to tell so much about the man.
He was sitting in a corridor; his honor-marked armor dirty, his helmet in his
hand and his attention forward. Then he heard something for he turned his head
to the side and looked at the holocam. There was wariness as he looked. Then he
relaxed, gave a soft, tired smile and turned his head back to whatever had his
attention.
"That's the medical unit," Ahsoka had explained to both Barin and Aureki.
"There are wounded men in there and he will not leave; no matter how late, no
matter how tired he is, until he knows about his troopers." There were tears in
Ahsoka's eyes. She remembered that battle. Men had died.
Barin was mostly asleep, his eyes barely open, and Aureki picked him and walked
him into his room. She put him in bed and he immediately curled up around
Ahsoka's old Jedi cape that was his favorite blanket.
Aureki went back to the main room. She checked the fire and saw Ahsoka still
staring at the paused holo image. Aureki nodded to herself. Tonight,  Ahsoka
would go into the treetops to watch the stars. It was that kind of mood. Aureki
fixed her a small hunter's pack to take then sat across her sister.
"I hate him, Aureki."
"Ssth," Aureki hissed. "It is not right that a hunter should lie to herself."
"He did not stop the rumors. He didn't do anything as the troopers, the men he
called brothers, gave me dishonorable names or touched me as I walked in the
hallway. 'Sorry, ma’am, sorry commander' they sometimes said. 'Hallway's a bit
crowded, commander,' as they brush against me, or touched me in intimate
places. All, so carefully, calculatedly accidental."
"They were not all like that." Aureki had heard parts of this before, each time
with a little more information of Ahsoka's past. Each time she understood a bit
more.
Ahsoka dropped her head, tears falling down her cheeks as she gave a tight
smile. "No. Some men fought for me. It's call one-on-one. I never understood
the full rules, but it's how they settle disagreements. They fight. They don't
even have to name the reason, it's usually well-known among the troopers. Men
sit behind the fighter of their opinion. Sometimes, they'll have it so that if
the first man falls, another will take his place. I think that was the
difference between what they called 'bloody sorrow' and 'bloody regret'.
Sometimes not." She shrugged. "As I said, I didn't know the full rules. As
commander, it was supposed to be below my notice. It was an internal mechanism
for keeping disagreement from tearing apart the company which would have
affected their readiness to battle. It is the captain's job to make sure they
were all battle-ready so he should have been monitoring the rumors and the
fights.  He or his delegate would oversee to make sure no one was permanently
injured and that the rules were followed."
Her hand reached for the holovid, her finger skimming through the image of him
staring into medical, turning towards Aureki. "Echo fought for me, several
times. Fives fought; I think he and Echo alternated. So did Jesse and that
surprised me." Ahsoka smiled wryly through her tears. "He and I started off in
misunderstanding and never got to straighten it out. Countdown fought. Chopper
fought. So many of my men fought for me, for my honor. But rumor is stronger
and faster than the truth."
Ahsoka took a deep breath; cleansing for both her mind and her body.
"The General..." she began. Aureki knew there was more sorrow there, but Ahsoka
had never told her that story. "The General said that if Rex called a one-on-
one, he could and would go sit Rex's side. He said that would stop the rumors.
But Rex never called out a man. I left when Echo and Fives said they would call
out the captain and beat him to bloody sorrow."
"Why did you leave? My sister, the Jedi knight," asked Aureki softly.
"For troopers to call out their captain means they don't think he is doing his
job, that he isn't fit to lead them."
"And that would destroy the battle-readiness as well." Aureki nodded.
"My departure put an end to it all."
Aureki smiled. "You love him, then. Leaving so he would not have to face men he
led in battle and know they did not trust him."  She gestured to the holo of
the man intent upon his wounded warriors.  "This man would have been destroyed
by that revelation."
Ahsoka tilted her head and thought. "I think you're right about that. It was
another reason that my departure from Torrent was a good idea." She rose,
gracefully, to her feet and gave her sister a hug and soft kiss on the cheek.
She picked up the small packet of tidbits for her stargazing.
"Will you ever search him out, sister?"
Ahsoka shook her head as she opened the door to leave. "He led the soldiers
that destroyed the Jedi temple." She softly closed the door behind her.
                           Four Years after Order 66
Fives had finished his duty for the evening as bodyguard to some local Twi'lek
warlord or freedom fighter though there wasn’t much difference. Their titles
didn't matter to him, only their pay. He joined Echo in the double room they
shared with Rex, removing the armor and bodysuit to take a long, hot shower. It
was a luxury he had grown to love after the lukewarm, crowded shower rooms of
the Resolute and countless barracks or the cold showers of so many other war-
torn places.
Echo was still on the computer when Fives came sauntering out with his hair
damp and his skin pink from the heat. A billow of steam rolled out with him.
"Echo," he said laughingly, "Get off the computer. You'll go blind doing that
for too long."
Echo nodded and absently spoke. "In a moment."
His tone caught Fives' attention.
"What are you doing?" Fives pulled on some loose, comfortable pants and picked
up his armor from where he had dropped it in his single-minded intent of a
shower.
"Checking clones."
"Hell of a hobby." Fives half-grunted and half-laughed as he sat on his bunk to
begin cleaning his armor. They had all modified their armor to a more
Mandalorian appearance and Fives had painted his a dusty grey mottled with drab
burnt orange to blend into the Ryloth landscape. He missed the solid white it
used to be. Somehow, his armor seemed diminished to be any color other than
white with blue trim.
"It's a good hobby," defended Echo. "I talked to Rex about trying to find one
or two."
"I bet he didn't like that."
"We've got our family but we can't be the only ones." Fives saw a grin begin on
Echo's face. "Besides, I'm getting tired of looking at you two and want to look
at some different faces when I come home."
Fives guffawed at that. "You can go back to Saleucami. Stay with Cut and
family. Or maybe move in with Jester in his digs as he courts that nurse.
There's a different face."
"A very nice one, too. Unfortunately, that's a bad idea. Jester can be pretty
possessive."
Fives nodded. "Well, if you were looking for a wife, wouldn't you be? Saleucami
has a bad male to female ratio. Twenty to one. Or so you told me."
Echo shrugged. "I'll have to get me a wife before I find out if I’m
possessive." He scratched his chin. "But I don't think so. Women are so
infrequent in my life that …" his voice faded and he shrugged again.
"Then get off that 'puter and come out tonight with me." Fives urged. "I'll
find us a beautiful, sexy woman and we can share. Maybe I'll find two or three
and we can bring one for Rex."
Echo smiled and shook his head. Fives did that often. He had a way with females
of most species and they usually had a friend or he'd convince them that two
men were twice as attentive as one. There was no sexual selfishness in Fives.
No possessiveness at all.
Echo decided the problem was him; too reticent, too quiet to attract attention
from a woman or keep it for long. He laughed. "Not tonight. I've got plans for
us."
"Us?" Fives voice was not encouraging.
"You're right. Rex didn't like it, but he didn't say anything. So we're going
to check for a clone and I want you at my back in case he isn't what he seems
to be. Or in case he is and happens to be better than me."
"Unnhh," moaned Fives as he flopped back on the bed. "Don't wanna go. Wanna go
bar. Get drink. Get woman."
"Armor up, brother."
"I just took a shower." It was a beautiful whine and Echo laughed at the way
Fives drew it out.
"Look at it this way," proposed Echo. "It means you can have another long, hot
shower when you get back."
"What about woman?" said Fives with one opened eye.
"You're on your own there, brother," sighed Echo. "But we should be back before
the bars close."
Fives grinned and began pulling on his half-cleaned armor. A woman could wait;
adventure with his brother was usually a lot more interesting. Sometimes even
fun.
                             --------------------
From the corner of his eye, Waxer caught movement outside the window. It was a
dark night, but his training and the newer, necessary paranoia saw the slight
movement of men. His heart caught in his throat. He'd worried about this ever
since he'd walked off the battlefield in disgust after Order 66. Boil had
stayed to cover his desertion and had said he would be running himself soon.
Officially, Waxer was KIA. But, with more clones running their shared face
became more common, more recognizable and the bounty on a clone was more than
decent. He hadn't heard from Boil in a while. So many possibilities ran through
his mind, none that he liked.
Waxer found his blaster easily in the dark. It was his hovel, small with a
kitchen, a common room, and two tiny bedrooms with an adjoining toilet and he
knew it as well as he knew his face. He had built it in the ruins of the
village they had found Numa in years earlier. It was just enough for him and
Numa. When Boil came back they'd add another room. If Boil came back. It had
been almost three years now since Waxer had run. Long past the 'couple of
months' they'd originally planned on, Boil always saying he was onto something
important.
Waxer grimaced. Maybe they wouldn't have to add another room. Numa was gone.
Waxer had his suspicions. This was Ryloth, after all; home of all the beautiful
Twi'lek dancers. Ryloth, where years of fighting had impoverished the
population. Ryloth where people made money however they could.
He moved easily and silently toward the door, fingers firm around the blaster.
Waxer had wanted to adopt her, but adoption was for citizens and that left him
out completely. Her uncle permitted Numa to live with Waxer. It saved him food,
he said. A few days earlier, he had come to their home and taken her. To live
with him, he said, as was legal. Yesterday, when Waxer had gone to visit Numa,
she was nowhere to be found and no one would look him in the eyes. She was only
eleven, almost twelve. Too young, Waxer thought. Apparently, her family hadn't
thought her too young.
Waxer wondered if his existence and location had been sold to bounty hunters.
He sighed. Time to move when you had questions like that running through your
mind. But finding Numa was more important.
Waxer's lips twisted as he hid beside the heavy stone pillar of the doorway. He
figured he'd get at least two, maybe four good shots. It would depend on how
many there were, how they rushed the door. He had to survive for Numa’s sake.
Voices outside the door confused him and he listened.
"Just … knock," said one exasperated voice so familiar. The voice of one clone,
the voice of all.
"What if he's not happy to see us? What if I've miscalculated?" Same voice,
different man.
"Echo!" growled the first voice. Waxer smiled wistfully as he recognized, not
the voice, but the tone. Boil and he often used it with each other. Two men so
different, you'd never think they could even be friends. Brothers by choice.
"What do you want?" He called out. There was silence.
"He wants to talk to you," said exasperated voice
Waxer considered a minute. If they'd been Imperials or bounty hunters, they
wouldn't have bothered talking to him. They'd have come in with their blasters.
He opened the door. If they were stormtroopers he was dead and no one would go
after Numa.
The two brothers were in modified Phase 1 armor, painted merc style. It was a
common clone fashion these days. Blasters in holsters, they walked into the
small room at his gesture, the ceiling barely taller than their helmets. Waxer
motioned to the bench and sat in the one chair by the table lightly setting his
deece near his hand.
"Talk," he said, "But make if fast, I have to leave soon. I have an appointment
with an informant."
One of the clones sat on the bench and removed his helmet. The other took the
door as guard and Waxer had a sudden wrenching emptiness of missing Boil.
The seated clone opened his lips, but realized he hadn't made sufficient plans
of what to say. "I'm Echo, he's Fives. We used to be with the 501st." He
paused, giving the other clone time to give his name. Waxer didn't. "You don't
have to answer any questions. Mostly I just want to know other brothers who
deserted. Your experience of what happened after Order 66. Just to sit down and
just talk. To know we're not the only ones who're doing ok."
Waxer sighed and shook his head. "Bad timing. I was just gearing up to go find
my daughter, my adopted daughter. Her uncle sold her." He saw unspoken messages
pass as his two visitors looked at each other. He bowed his head, wishing Boil
was there with him. He looked into Echo's eyes.  He missed Boil.
"I could use some help." He asked softly.
Fives, still at the door, shook his head. Echo sighed. "I don't think we both
can. Maybe one of us can go."
"I'll go," volunteered Fives. "Your shift will be coming up." He turned to
Waxer. I can give you until midmorning tomorrow. Maybe Rrr," he paused.
Waxer gave a half smile. "Rrr? Would that be as in Rex? I read watch lists too.
I even met the Captain when he was here with …the Jedi… about five years back."
He seemed to chew on his lower lip. "He might help too."
                        ------------------------------
Waxer was sitting at the table when Rex walked into the double room pulling off
his helmet. Fives had encouraged Waxer to have a long, hot shower and Waxer
hadn't needed much encouragement. He was clean, freshly-shaved and wearing some
clothes Fives had loaned him. The conversation with Rex had been surprisingly
short.
"Hello Captain Rex," Waxer began.
"Just Rex these days."
"I need help getting Numa, my ..."
"I remember Numa," said Rex with a slight smile.
"Her uncle sold her and I want her back then someplace safe."
Rex dropped his head in his own private pain. Waxer waited. Then Rex nodded.
"We're in."
                        ------------------------------
You don't mess with slavers, muttered Fives to himself. It was commonly
accepted wisdom in the Outer Rim. Fives decided that better wisdom would be you
don't mess with brothers.
He didn't have any real moral argument against slavers. According to the Rights
of Sentience he didn't have even as many rights as a slave. He was merchandise,
bought and paid for and, except for the slavers firing at him, he had it pretty
good. Behind his helmet, he had a snarling grin as he shot his blaster toward
the group, making sure to shoot high to avoid the kids. Slavery was nothing.
Theft was something entirely different.
As a trooper, he hadn't seen any theft in the barracks. A trooper had only his
armor and gear; easily replaceable or traceable. Clone troopers didn't earn
credits so couldn't buy anything but they had no need of anything beyond what
was provided. Fives glanced over to Waxer. He had run without his armor, but
his face was no less terrifying than those helmed visages. Rage glittered in
his eyes; his face was a stony mask of hate. He was shooting high, but barely
higher than the tallest child.
Theft was something entirely different.
To steal something from a clonetrooper meant you had to steal something
intangible. His comfort, perhaps or a good night's sleep. Jester had told him
how Slick had stolen Chopper's self-confidence. The war had stolen away ability
and life. Order 66 had stolen away the soul of every clone who participated and
Fives counted himself in that number. The slavers had made the mistake of
stealing something very valuable from Waxer; his heartbeat.
Echo and Rex were coming up behind the slavers and should start firing … Fives
grinned as he heard the sound of blaster fire, the clones' military issue
heavier, more deadly. He loved being part of a well-oiled unit. He moved in
with Waxer as the slavers' attention was diverted to their rear for an instant.
Waxer's eyes swept over the group of kids, that stony face of hate gone. He
started moving to one small group of children.
"Numa, get down." Then spoke again in Twi'lek and that bright girl, already
crouched, grabbed hands of her neighboring kids and pulled them down to the
ground with her.
Waxer was shooting level now. He dropped one of the Weequay and was immediately
targeting another slaver. Fives covered as Waxer moved closer in, pushing
children down to the ground with one hand, firing his blaster with the other.
Then the slavers were dead. The two-pronged and militarily precise attack had
them dead before they could figure out a counter. Fives looked over to Waxer.
He was smiling, holding Numa tightly and conversing with her in a mix of
Twi'lek and Basic. She had her arms around his neck, dried tears on her face,
now happily giggling like any child. Fives had to turn his head to hide from
the naked love in that man's face.
He wished he had a heartbeat like that.
Theft was, definitely, another matter entirely.
Echo was moving on the field, efficiently making sure the slavers were dead and
Rex waved Fives over to help him check the ship.
There was a cargo hold with slaves, about fifteen women of mixed planetary
origins. "Your kind of cargo," Rex murmured to Fives through the helmet comm
units.
Fives began unlocking the force shields, jokingly, "Ok, ladies, you can all
line up to kiss the hero. That would be me." He tapped the cheek of his helmet.
The first woman out was a lithe Togruta woman. She smiled at Fives wickedly,
showing her teeth. It wasn't a friendly smile.
He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I'll settle for a handshake or a wave
at twenty paces."
She looked at him quizzically. Rex had an odd stance, unsure for a moment, and
Fives recalled the Commander.
"Ai wa shili'n." Rex told her in greeting.
Fives knew where he had learned it. Ahsoka had taught him some Togruta also
though not as much as she had taught Echo and not nearly as much as Rex.
"We'll make sure you get home," Rex was telling the woman.
She considered Rex carefully. "You are not other slavers, then?" Rex shook his
head.
"Mercenaries. The man outside hired us. They took his daughter." It was close
to the truth.
"Thank you. Currently I live on Ryloth so home is not far." She glanced back to
the other women. "We are all from Ryloth or can easily return home from there."
Most of the remaining women were Twi'lek, young and pretty. Fives wondered what
the slavers had stolen from them. Some smiled shyly at him, others kept their
eyed down and their heads lowered. Some sobbed and Fives decided he didn't
really want to know what the slavers had stolen from them.
He didn't a single kiss. So much for being a hero. He wished he had received
one; it would mean that at least one of the women had something to give. They
had nothing.
"Rex, if you've got this under control," Fives saw he did, the woman giving him
their trust, as he spoke, reassuring them they'd be going home. "I'll check the
rest of the ship."
There were several more women in some of the cabins and makeshift rooms. Their
conditions scared Fives. Most were chained to something in the room and as he
opened each door, they glared at him with hatred. Even as he freed him, they
jerked away from his hands touching them, disgust and revulsion in their eyes.
They did not look friendly at him though he had an electronic key. Some of them
had old dark bruises mixed in with new bruises. One had a broken wrist; another
had small cuts, new and old, all over her body. One was a Twi'lek girl barely
older than Waxer's Numa. Fives had asked one of the other women for help with
the sobbing child. She had screamed at his mere appearance and he suddenly
realized that slavery was theft. Theft of something so intangible he'd never
thought of it before. Slavers were thieves of the worst sort, stealing
intangibles. They were the scum of the universe and Fives felt his grey and red
armor had a bit more shine than usual to have killed them and freed these
women. He glanced at the child, blinking away tears stinging his eyes.  She’d
never be free.
In the last cabin a Zeltron with vivid ruby skin was chained to the bed. She
had leapt up to attack him, fingernails digging at him, digging at his arm with
the blaster. He'd taken a step back, trying to get out of her reach when he saw
movement behind him – another woman, dusty rose - from the corner of his eye.
He had no time to think as the chair she swung slammed against his body, but
his body reacted as he’d been trained. He took the blow mostly on the side of
his arm and not his helmet. There'd be a bruise later. The ruby red woman,
chained to the bed, wrapped herself around his arm, her entire weight trying to
pull the blaster down. Trying to pull him down to the floor where they could
beat him to death. The other woman was pulling the chair back for another
swing. He pushed his finger into the lock behind the trigger.
"Hey, I'm here to..." He grabbed at the chair and caught it, his arm
straightened. Most women would have struggled with him to keep the chair. Dusty
rose woman let go and slammed into his body, pushing him onto the other woman.
The woman on the bottom of the pile grunted as Fives and dusty rose landed on
top of her. He felt his elbow hit her side and knew a rib had cracked.
"Sorry," the word popped out.
It didn't stop her though. She started curling her arms around the blaster,
limiting his movement, bringing her knees up to push him away.
Dusty rose woman was pulling backwards on his helmet. Fives' neck was twisting
back. The helmet was in lock and he knew she couldn't remove it. He was pretty
sure she couldn't break his neck either, until the woman on the floor let go of
the blaster– it was now solidly between her body and his – and started pushing
up on the rim of the helmet below his chin, her legs wrapping around his hips
as a fulcrum. Then dusty rose started levering the chair leg under his neck.
That was not good.
He rolled to the side, away from the bed. The woman on his back was now beneath
him on the floor. The other, her chain too short, was jerked from his body as
he had rolled. She grabbed at his blaster again but Fives had it clasped to his
chest, his elbows pushing against her. In the brief instant when his body
weight has slammed the other woman to the floor, he slipped out the cartridge
and keyed the blaster off, tossing it to one side. Captain wouldn't be happy if
he'd killed someone not a slaver, even by accident. His gloved hands grabbed
the woman's arms around his neck and his strength was sufficient to remove
them, but her legs hooked around his waist and her arms fought against his
hands.
"I'm here to help." He tried to shout, but it came out with less volume then he
intended. They ignored him his words and ruby red swung the chair to come
smashing onto his armored chest. Not a problem. The chair cracked in two
pieces. Then he saw ruby red's eyes light up and she aimed one of the jagged
pieces toward his armpit, where there was no armor. Damn, weren't Zeltons
supposed to be able to read your emotion? Couldn't they understand he was here
to freethem?
He grabbed the chair leg with a hand, but his other arm was captured by the
woman beneath him, high up near his neck.
"Do you think we should help?" It was Waxer's voice at the door.
"I think he's doing fine," replied Echo. "He's in the arms of a beautiful
woman, his favorite place. He's even on top for once."
"Hmm," grunted Waxer. "Just to let you both know. That's not the way it's
done."
Fives felt the dusty rose woman beneath him slowly release her grip. He heard a
small choking sob near his ear. The still-chained ruby red woman was glaring at
the two men at the door, holding the chair as a shield, but her lower lip
quivered. The two men at the door had blasters and the women were now both
outnumbered and outgunned.
"If you let him go, he'll release you. Otherwise, you have to keep him and he's
expensive to feed and shower." Echo's voice had a grin in it. He and Waxer
moved away.
Fives moved off the dusty rose woman, held out his hand to help her up. She
ignored his hand and turned to her sister for assistance. Fives noticed bruises
on her and realized that she'd have a few more by later that evening. She had a
collar on as well, with several links of chain dangling from it. He saw the
rest of the chain attached to the bed. Somehow she had broken the chain. He
picked up the blaster and slipped the cartridge back in.
"I'm sorry." He said. It had been his fault. He knew better than to enter a
room without checking the walls. He released ruby red from her collar, without
touching her skin. He didn't want to see the revulsion in her eyes as he had
from the other women, didn't want her to jerk away in hate. He dropped the
electronic key into ruby red's hands. Warily, she kept her eyes on him while
she freed dusty rose from her collar. They were identically dressed, if
something as scanty as that could be considered dressed, but in their struggle
with him, dusty rose had lost her top. Under his helmet, Fives blushed. He'd
seen women before, but she was beautiful. She … undulated and he finally
understood what that meant. He gulped. Ruby seemed darkly amused and glanced
over her shoulder as she freed her sister.
"Fives, get up here, the bridge of the ship. We've got more trouble." Rex's
voice sounded in his helmet.
"Gotta go," he told the women. "I think everyone is gathering just outside." He
moved out of the door. The two women followed him to the bridge of the small
ship rather than joining the other women. Rex was seated in the co-pilot's
seat, facing him were Echo and Waxer. Numa was tightly clinging onto Waxer's
hand. Rex saw Fives, the two women behind him. He touched his helmet and spoke,
private channel, to Fives. "I didn't say bring anyone."
Fives didn't bother going private. "I didn't bring. They came."
"What do you know about flying a small cargo ship?" asked Rex in open audio to
the men.
"I've read instructions," replied Echo. That had been a given.
"Got me beat," said Waxer with a shake of his head, his arm protectively curled
around Numa.
Fives laughed. "Me? I saw the cover of the manual Echo read. It wasn't
informative."
Rex knocked his fist against the forehead of his helmet
"The women say that there are more slavers. This is just a ship they captured
as an auxiliary to their main vessel. The main one is about twice this size and
there are about twenty more slavers expected here anytime. We can't wait for
our pickup and there'd be too many casualties in a firefight." He sighed. "I
guess I'm driving. Echo, you're everything else." Rex hoped he could remember
what Ahsoka had tried to teach him about flying. It wouldn't be fun. It
wouldn't be pretty. He was reasonably sure they'd survive.
Dusty rose snorted and rolled her eyes. "Di'kut Mando mercenaries!" She strode
over to Rex. "Out of my seat." She ordered and he complied.
Ruby red seated herself in the pilot's seat, flicking switches. "Get everyone
inside," she instructed. "Let us know when they are all in."
Rex nodded in relief, knowing expertise when he saw it. He and Echo moved out
of the small bridge.
Dusty rose turned her face toward Fives, answering his unasked question with an
upturned brow. "Who do you think they stole the ship from?"
A slow grin etched itself on Fives' face behind his helmet as he watched the
two women prep the ship. He found it interesting that dusty rose hadn't
bothered to cover herself from her struggle and his eyes kept drifting to her
body. He liked her face too, alert, interested, dark violet eyes. Ruby red had
beautiful blue black hair and long, delicate fingers which danced over the
console. Fives kept looking at her body because it was tantalizingly hidden.
Dusty rose laughed. "Don't hurt yourself."
"Seeing you two will never hurt," he replied and both women smiled.
Waxer came back, accompanied by Numa. It looked to Fives that she'd never let
him out of her sight again. "Everyone's on board. There are some injuries."
Ruby red nodded. "I've opened up med unit for you. I don't know if there's
anything there anymore. The slavers may have...”
"Understood," Waxer replied. "We'll do our best with what we have." He left for
the med unit. Fives could hear the weeping child in the corridor, a woman's
voice talking to her, trying to sooth her.
Fives nodded. "What we've always done," he murmured softly. Ruby red glanced at
him as he spoke.
He noticed that they worked together almost silently, as a unit. He worked as
part of a unit but their cohesion was more perfect than he'd ever seen. Then he
laughed. They were Zeltron; they were reading each other's emotions. If they
were sisters, they'd had years to perfect this communication.
"Would you beautiful ladies," he leaned on the chair of dusty rose, "like to go
out with me and my brother?"
Ruby red gave a soft laugh. "It's the fighting that's made you want us."
"Maybe," he agreed. "But I'd be interesting in testing that theory in a non-
aggressive setting. Wouldn't you?"
Dusty rose turned her head slightly and looked at him from the corner of her
eye. "Perhaps," she flicked a few switches and the ship started the jump to
hyperspace. "But what if it was only the fighting?"
Echo smiled, though she couldn't see it. "Then we'll arm wrestle."
She laughed and it was like a river of silver in his ears. She flicked a switch
and the timbre of the ship changed. Fives was familiar with that vibration,
though he'd never before had a window to look out of.
"Wow," said Fives as he leaned forward, stars streaming past the ship like
ribbons of light. "I've never seen hyperspace. That's the most fantastic sight
I've ever seen."
He heard Echo chuckle in his helmet. "Come on Fives, even I know you're
supposed to tell them they're the most fantastic sight you've ever seen."
Both women leaned back then turned to face him. Dusty rose spoke first.
"Why didn't you, "she jerked her head back. "Do that? Your helmet would have
maybe knocked me unconscious or at least loosened my grip."
"I didn't want to hurt you." He gestured to the crest of the helmet, turning
his head to show her the point. "This can incapacitate, sometimes kill. It
wasn't worth the risk." Fives thought for a moment. "You're Zeltrons. Why
didn't you know I was trying to free you?"
Dusty rose tilted her head. "The collar's had inhibitors. I could barely
understand my sister's emotions. You were a wall."
Echo heard through Fives helmet and laughed at that, even Rex gave a soft
chuckle.
Ruby red smiled softly. "Yes, we will go out with you and your brother or
brothers." She looked at him oddly and he was reminded of the way the commander
used to look at things with the Force. "They are all your brothers, aren't
they?
Five removed his helmet and grinned. "Yeah, they are. But I’m the handsomest."
"It could get interesting," smiled dusty rose and Fives heart flew. They
shared.
                        ------------------------------
Fives had the door shut again and Echo could hear him with Sula and Saoha. They
were laughing and then Fives must have done something unexpected, because Saoha
squealed in surprise, then more laughter.
Echo sighed. The first night it had been the four of them. They'd gone to a
dance club. It had been enjoyable. They'd come back to the double room laughing
and light-heartedly inebriated. Saoha had come to Echo's bed. He'd been
surprised, mostly. He'd been bold enough to begin kissing her, shy enough to
confess to not many sexual experiences, confident enough to ask her what
pleased her the most. She told him. She showed him. She asked what he like the
most and he didn't know. She gave him ideas.
But gradually Saoha drifted to Fives and her sister. Echo knew that Sula had
gone to Rex. The next day Rex was in an unusually pleasant mood; the sexual
tension of about five years worn down by a night with a lovely, loving Sula.
Most nights either Sula or Saoha would visit Echo, feeling his need, his want.
Fives was pleased to share. He took great joy in sharing.
They shared discussions as well, meals, card games – Sula was a mathematical
genius at sabacc often cleaning them all out of the small candies they used as
markers. Rex and Saoha would play dejarik, battling intensely until the
chronometer marked the next day.
Once, Rex even asked them to assist in an assignment. Of course, it hadn't been
difficult or deadly; simply a diversion. "Just go into the bar and be your
wonderful, lovely selves," he told them and Fives had argued against it, and
then glowered at Rex for days afterwards. In turn, the brothers lived on the
ship and provided a protective presence during their trading. Fives kept no
secrets from them which meant, in turn, that neither Rex nor Echo had many
secrets.
Once, Sula had burst into Echo's cabin, tearfully demanding to know how old he
was. He answered her, sadly, knowing what Fives had told her. She had curled up
beside him, comforting him and being comforted in turn. "It's not something we
think about very often," he'd told her. Most people have an idea of how they'll
age and they don't go comparing themselves against longer lived races. Same
with us, we don't moan about the fact that we have short life spans. We just
live out what we have."
"If you die twice as fast, then you must live twice as much," she told him.
"Promise me, Echo, that you will live as much as you can in your time." He
promised; then, with a devilish grin, made her laugh and sigh with pleasure.
It was a pleasant interlude. Echo knew Sula and Saoha also visited Rex as
frequently as they visited him. He told Fives that he could really tell when
one had visited Rex. Fives had stared at him and then laughed. "You too, Echo.
Rex said that the other day about you."
But it was only an interlude. The pleasure was only physical and only
temporary. Rex picked up another contract and it was time to go. Sula and Saoha
volunteered their ship, volunteered to stay in orbit and wait as they had done
before. Rex had smiled and kissed them both.
"No. Not this time. It's time for us to move on. Echo, get your gear."
That was when Echo knew. He saw the half-frown cross Five's entire face, his
mouth open as if to object. Sula touched Fives’ hand and he turned to look at
her, gripped her hand tightly, tears making his eyes moist. Then she turned to
Echo and gave him a kiss. Saoha was next.
"Do not forget me." She growled low then her nose crinkled in a grin. "Remember
what I have taught you and give that to other women." Echo was tempted to join
Fives. Both women moved onto their ship.
Fives looked at Rex, his captain. He looked at Echo, his brother in all things
from the beginning. With them he had a shared past.
He looked at Sula and Saoha walking – undulating – toward their ship. He
watched Sula, with her ruby body and blue-black hair, gentle words and dancing
eyes. He looked at Saoha, lovely dusty rose skin and darker, violet hair, with
her spicy temper and laughter of silver. Did he have a future with them?
Echo laughed, joyfully. "Go, Fives. It'll be hard, but we'll manage without
you."
Fives looked at his captain with hopeful uncertainty.
Rex smiled. "Go."
Fives smiled, looked at his two lovely women as they entered the ship. He ran
to Echo and gave his brother a hug around the shoulders. "I'll miss you,
brother."
Echo returned the hug. "I don't think they'll give you the opportunity to miss
me."
Then Fives turned to Rex. For a moment he simply looked at his captain, seeing
the man who'd taught him so much; lead him in so many ways. He came sharply to
attention and saluted him. "Sir, it has been my privilege to know you."
Rex returned the salute. "It has been my honor to have you in my life"
Fives turned and was racing towards the ship.
                           4 ½ years after Order 66
Rex and Echo continued working, a good team. Echo found evidence of other
troopers who had deserted. He discovered a few names he knew – Jesse, Scythe,
Kix - and marked them for future research. He found evidence of surviving Jedi
and searched further.
"Tatooine." Echo declared as he leaned back from the console with satisfaction.
"There's a Jedi on Tatooine and I think it’s General Kenobi."
Rex didn't want to see the general. There were too many memories. But perhaps
he could ask if Ahsoka survived that night. Just to know that small piece of
information might be worth whatever withering glance, whatever harsh words the
general could throw at him for his participation in the massacre. So he nodded.
"Tatooine, it is."
                        ------------------------------
Kenobi had changed since Echo had last seen him. Echo supposed they had changed
also. Certainly he and Rex had aged in the four years since Order 66. He was
only 17 years old, yet looked a hard-beaten 35. He thought Rex looked older.
There was still a sparkle in the general's eyes even though his expression was
wary. He invited Rex and Echo into his home, cool in the Tatooine heat, and
fixed them tea. Echo thought perhaps it wouldn't be too bad as he dropped his
soft pack at the door.
They didn't speak much for a while, knowing that any reminiscence would lead to
darker memories. Rex didn't know what to say, Echo enjoyed the tea and Kenobi
wondered why they'd come. Rex was tense, Echo relaxed and then the tea was
gone.
Kenobi leaned back and touched his fingers to his beard, an old habit they
recognized. "So, why are you here?"
Rex shrugged. "Echo wanted to come.” He didn't need to bring up Ahsoka yet.
Maybe he would later; nonchalantly, when they were leaving.
That brought a laugh from Echo as he nodded. "I'll have to say Rex is right.
It's entirely my fault we're here."
Kenobi hadn't known Echo well, though he did remember the young trooper as
quiet and resourceful. Even now, he was wearing his breastplate, painted green,
more Mando-style, outlining Rex's blue handprint still there from so long ago.
Kenobi seemed to recall than green meant 'duty'. But there were many variations
and he wasn't sure.
"How can I be of assistance?"
Echo didn't even look at Rex. "Is Jedi knight Ahsoka Tano still alive?" he
asked. "I can't find any information about her, but I also can't find an
Imperial death notice."
Rex gasped. He stood, staring at Echo in anger, and left the room through the
front door into the noonday heat.
Kenobi's eyebrows rose, "So, it was you?" Echo merely shrugged noncommittally,
not sure what was being asked. "She returned to the Temple and was expelled
from the Order."
"Expelled? But why?" Echo's face showed his confusion.
"It was discovered that she was pregnant,” and Kenobi laughed. "She informed us
she was pregnant. It was a very public announcement. She refused to give the
child up; breaking her vow of non-attachment."
"Pregnant?" Echo's voice was soft and then he smiled.
Kenobi was pleased, it seemed that the clone hadn't known, hadn't so much
refused her as Ahsoka had implied. He had simply been unaware.
"That is just too wonderful." Then worry overtook his face. "What happened
afterwards?"
Kenobi shrugged. "I had heard that she returned to her home planet and her
people. The Togruta are a clannish people and Ahsoka had too much individuality
to comfortably fit among them, never mind being Force sensitive. But, I think,
when a woman is pregnant and has a child, there is a desire to return to her
roots and her family, to concentrate on her child rather than the external."
"What about," Echo's voice dropped and he looked away from Kenobi's blue eyes,
his lips twisting in shame, "that night?" He fidgeted his hands then looked the
general in the eyes. "I was there. In the temple. Killing Jedi no less than
another other clone. Every clone commander received that order and then all
clone troopers received it seconds later." He watched the general. "It was a
programmed order."
Kenobi seemed to accept this with no emotion, skipped over it, not quite
absolving the trooper, but not accusing. “Yes, I don’t think there was anything
else you could do.” He paused. "By then, Ahsoka was no longer a Jedi. In fact,
I suspect that she was mothering an infant by then. She has shut herself off
from the Force quite thoroughly. Perhaps in response to being," a dark cloud
seemed to drift over Kenobi's face. "Skywalker's student. My sorrow is with
her. To be Force sensitive, a Jedi knight and to close yourself off from the
Force is like blinding yourself."'
"She'd do that? I remember she loved being filled with it, the Force. She loved
being able to jump out of gunships or off cliffs and land as light as a bird."
Echo's distant smile showed Kenobi he was remembering.
"To save her child," Kenobi leaned forward, "your child." He touched Echo in
the chest. "I think Ahsoka would do anything. Non-attachment doesn't mean that
she would not have seen the child or been able to visit, bring life-day gifts –
simply that she wouldn't be able to raise the child herself. She gave up her
knighthood so she could raise her son."
"A boy?" asked Echo and Kenobi nodded.
"Very distinctly a male Force signature as I recall."
Echo paused. "You've got one thing wrong, though. I'm not the father." He
glanced at the door. "Rex is."
"Ah. Well you love her enough to fool me." Kenobi laughed gently. “Is that why
he walked out so angrily?”
Echo nodded. "I do love her. And I love my brother just as well. This hurts him
more than he'll say. More than he's aware of." He sat back and calculated. "A
boy. Right around 4-5 years old now."
"Shili would be the best starting place. The southern tribes, I believe, is
where Ahsoka's clan is from." Kenobi gestured toward the door. "If you didn't
know, might I assume that he doesn't know?"
"I think that's fair to assume. She left theResolute about a week after…they.
They... uh," Echo turned red and Kenobi gave a chuckle. "Argued" is what Echo
settled on.
Kenobi nodded. "I understand. So perhaps even she wasn't aware at the time. Why
did you ask, instead of him?"
Echo shook his head. "He wouldn't have asked. Maybe when I first made him come
here, he thought about asking. But he would put it off, drop it as not
important because he's only a clone and his wants aren't important. Then he'd
decide maybe he'd mention it in passing. But he'd change his mind because he
wouldn't really want to face her again, the di'kut. And we'd go back and he'd
be in a sour mood because he'd have passed up his chance and…gah." Echo looked
at the ceiling. "In some ways, having him as Captain was easier than having him
as a brother."
Kenobi was shaking, laughing softly. Then it's good he has you to take care of
him.
"I don't want to take care of him!" Echo was emphatic. Then he spoke more
gently. "That's for Ahsoka to do." He dropped his head then looked up at the
general from the corner of his eyes with a smile on his face and his shoulders
also shuddered in laughter. "Yeah, brothers and all that. Anyway, we lost her
after she returned to the temple. Rex was furious. He still is and that's why
he won't ask."
"At himself, you know." Kenobi shifted his gaze into the Force.
"I know. We all, I mean, all of Torrent Company knew within 24 hours of
Ahsoka's departure, exactly how infuriated Rex was." Echo smiled wickedly at
Kenobi. "He challenged the entire company to one-on-one. Every night, for three
and a half weeks, he'd end up beating some trooper into the floor. He had
bruises and cuts everywhere; his face, his chest, his hands for weeks; a few
cracked ribs, a couple of broken knuckles, loose teeth. None of which he'd do
anything more than smear on a streak of bacta gel. Echo lost his smile. "He'd
walk out on the battlefield like he was immortal, looking for death."
Kenobi was aware the Rex had been one of the best fighters of Torrent, but
didn't think he'd last that long against an entire company. "What happened?"
Echo shrugged. "I got tired of it. I'd been watching and, after several weeks
of observing I knew his weak points. I beat him into bloody sorrow, took him
back to his bunk, and got him drunk Skywalker provided the alcohol. I let him
cry on my shoulder. And that was it."
"As good a cure as any."
"Not a cure. But it brought him to his senses enough that he started seeking
cover on the battlefield." Echo's face was angry and his eyes glittered. He'd
seen what Rex had done to Ahsoka in the mess. Some of the troopers assumed that
since the Captain didn't care, she was fair game for them. Their harassment,
tolerated or ignored or unseen by Rex, was why she'd had to leave; otherwise
time and proximity would have healed the rift between them.
Echo had beaten his share of men, but it had been the captain's beating that he
counted. "I didn't care about the punishment he took from fighting the men, but
I decided he had damn well better make it out alive."
"For her?" asked Kenobi softly.
Echo nodded. "For her."
Kenobi sigh, seeing entwined fates in the Force, wondered how they would play
out. "May the Force be with you in your search and in your future."
Thank you, general." Echo looked around the small, daub home. "Can I send you
anything from Mos Eisley?"
"Tea," said the older man, crinkles appearing around his eyes as he smiled,
showing where he would wrinkle in another ten years. "For some reason, you
can't get good tea in Anchorhead."
"I remembered you liked tea." Echo pulled a canister of tea from his pack,
handing it to the Jedi. Echo had a very good memory and Kenobi gave a delighted
cry to see his favorite tea, not easily available on Tatooine.
Rex was stone-faced when the other two came out the building, laughing in old
camaraderie.
                              4 ½ years after 66
"I'm not going, Echo. You can look for her by yourself. I'll go back to
Saleucami for a visit."
"Who'll be watching my back until I find her?
"You're ARC. You'll be fine."
"I didn't know you for a coward, Captain."
"You'll eat those words, trooper."
"Is that a one-on-one? If so it’s been a long time coming."
"No." *sigh*
"Rex, don't you want to see her again?"
"She hates me."
"She didn't seem to hate you the last time she saw you. She didn't slink off
the Resolute without saying goodbye like she could have. You got a face-to-face
good-by. Probably not the one she wanted to give you. Probably not the one you
wanted. Definitely not the one you deserved. She was angry, but not even as
angry as me or Fives can get with you."
"Echo, I as good as raped her."
"It didn't seem that way to me and the other guys in the mess. You were the
angry one. You didn't look her in the face and when she touched you, you jerked
away like she was poison. What came after was closer to rape. You ignored that.
You betrayed your rank by letting them get to your commander."
"I don't want to see her and that's final."
"Because you failed her. Fine. You could at least go and apologize for not
doing anything about the harassment after."
"Apologize for WHAT?"
"For not stopping the rumors. For not stopping the harassment. That was closer
to rape than anything you ever did."
"What harassment?"
"Don't lie to me. I told you about it. I came in each night and told you there
was a one-on-one, usually three or four. Every kriffing night and you'd
delegate one of the medics to stand your slot."
"You didn't say it was about her."
"I needed to do that? What did you think it was about? With all those rumors
floating around? Or were you so self-involved in mental castigation that you
didn't hear anything about what was going on?
"I… I didn't hear anything."
Three fights a night and you didn't bother to check that out?
"I was busy. I had duties."
One of your most important duties was taking care of your of your company and
your commander. Did I have to come to you and tell you what they were calling
the commander? Spell it out in small words so you'd understand? Captain's woman
was the nicest. Clonewhore was not the worst."
"I would have..."
"You didn't. Your behavior in the mess made it obvious about how you thought.
You'd had her and then threw her away. Not even quiet, but publicly. Do you
remember what you called her?
"Yes. I regretted it then."
"Then you should have said so then. Everyone heard you. They figured she was up
for grabs. So they grabbed. There were some men who'd wait for her so they
could bump her in the corridor. They'd reach out their hands and touch her
where they thought you might have touched her. She was a Jedi and too quick for
most of them.
"I didn't know. Echo, I didn't know."
"Do you remember the silent moment on the gunship landing to Akarryz?"
"Yes."
"What did you think that was?"
"Nothing, just the men preparing for landing. "
"It's never that quiet, Rex. It was Touch, and where do you think he got his
name? He was behind her. There was a little air bump and he 'fell' forward. His
entire body against her back, his free hand coming around to grab her breasts,
holding her against him and you were staring right at them! Maybe it was in
armor, but it was planned and he didn't move from her for several long seconds.
No one said a thing. That was the silence. Everyone looked to you for what
you'd do or say. She was looking at you. And you did nothing. No reprimand, no
harsh word. Fives beat him to bloody sorrow that night. The next day Touch told
me it was worth it and I had my go-round with him.
"I must have had my eyes shut. I … I couldn't look at her by then."
"Was she that disgusting to you, then? Or were you that disgusted with
yourself?
"Myself."
"So you were weeping in your mirror and not minding your business. You weren't
looking out for your commander or your troops. You had your head so far up your
shebs that you had no idea what was going on in your own company."
Rex had no reply for that.
"The night she left, Fives and I, along with three other men, had planned to
call you out for one-on-one. We were going to take turns pummeling you into the
mat for what you had done to our commander. The general was going to sit our
side."
"Why didn't you?" That would have been the end of him. No one wanted a captain
the men didn't trust.
"She asked us not to. She was going and there was no more need to open your
eyes to what was happening."
"Why didn't she say anything?"
"She thought you had her back."
"I'll go with you, Echo."
"Why? Just to cover my six? I'm ARC, I don't need you. I won't be your excuse."
"I need to apologize, Echo."
"That's good enough."
                              4 ½ years after 66
"Sister, I have heard there are armored men in the village." Aureki brought the
news to Ahsoka as she watched Barin race one of his cousins across the soft
grass. He was still baby-chubby but he'd grow into a fine athlete one day.
Aureki sat, cross-legged, next to her sister, the soil was warm from the sun
and the children, running and chasing each other.
"Then I must go." Ahsoka knew the day would come when stormtroopers would come
to Shili; when she'd have to leave. For now, she would leave Barin with Aureki
and her family; until she found a place for them both to come live with her.
"Ne-ah, sister. These are not the stormtroopers you have spoken of. There are
only two of them and they are Mando, not in the white armor. But they are said
to look the same, as you have described save one is said to have blonde hair."
Aureki picked up a stem of grass and whistled through it. "When I heard that, I
came to you immediately. I knew you would want to know."
"I think," Ahsoka absently watched her son. "I think I will go see these Mando
men." Her family would watch Barin, as she had so often watched her sisters'
children. They would take care of him if this was some trap. They would raise
him if she could not.
"I could go, sister," Aureki said. "I am no one to them. No one to recognize,
but I have seen the vids and would know them." She touched her sister's arm
softly. "If they are the ones who destroyed the Jedi temple, then perhaps they
wish to destroy you now."
"Your bravery astounds me, but you must remain ta-harr. You must give Barin a
home. I will go and make my decisions there."
Aureki tilted her head slightly and blew a different note on the grass stem.
"For what purpose do you go see them? Old hurts and words of anger? Revenge for
a temple that exiled you?"
"I'm not sure, Aureki." Ahsoka said as she stood and brushed her hunter's pants
with her hands. "I don't think I'll know until I do see them; until they see
me."
Aureki nodded. "Go hunting with an open heart. Tomorrow there will be meal for
two more to share. If they do not come," she paused, inspecting her sister,
"then you can take the extra I fix when you star watch."
Ahsoka nodded, knowing that if they did not come with her, she would no longer
have an interest in the stars.
Echo, sitting at the outdoor table, saw her coming into the village in a
hunter's easy pace. Her feet were bare, touching the ground of Shili like the
other Togruta. She was wearing comfortable-looking pants of a muted brown-green
color, a sleeveless shirt and one of the loose white jackets which everyone on
the planet seemed to be wearing.
He could only watch her. She was Ahsoka, but more so than when she'd been
younger. She seemed distilled into her essence, her essential being. She had
grace and maturity in her face, acceptance and wisdom and love. Echo ached,
wishing for a second, he could lie; wishing he hadn't made Rex come with him.
Her eyes caught sight of him sitting still at the small inn's single table
simply watching her and she smiled, her eyes crinkling like General Kenobi's
had done. He felt light at her smile and grinned back, standing at her
approach.
"Echo," she didn't slow down but simply ran into his arms, hugging him, almost
knocking him over. Only his strength saved them from a tumble to the ground. He
laughed and had his arms around her, her face in the curve of his neck. She
wasn't his commander anymore. He held her tightly and gave her a kiss on her
lips. She kissed back. He'd never had a sweeter kiss.
"It is so good to see you." She laughed with sparkling eyes.
"It's much better to see you. Me, I see me every day, sometimes in duplicate."
He joked.
She turned, ordered something from the innkeeper and then simply sat, enjoying
the presence of Echo's company. They talked; he asked about her son. It was
almost an hour before Rex was even mentioned. Echo saw her face suddenly become
sad and he knew he'd been right to bring Rex.
"How is Rex?" she asked. "What happened when Order 66 was given?"
Echo gave a pained look, it had been several years and he had yet to come to
terms with what had happened, with what he'd been ordered to do. He didn't
think he'd ever come to terms with what he'd actually done.
"We followed our orders, Ahsoka. That's what we were bred and trained to do and
those were programmed orders. I don't think we had any choice. We followed
those orders." Echo felt as ashamed as he had the night he had been looking out
a window from the Jedi temple, contemplating the stars and wondering if he
would turn into one if he took his blaster to his head.
"We followed those orders and those orders broke us." Her hands reached for his
and held them tightly. He ran his thumb on the smoothness of her skin.
"Rex saved me and Fives and Jester. The morning after that night we put on our
armor and walked onto a troop transport out of Coruscant. No one questioned
us." He gave a short laugh. "You don't question two troopers and two ARCs with
blasters and attitude if you want to keep living. We just kept doing that for a
day. By the time we reached the Outer Rim, we'd gotten rid of helmet
identifiers. We painted our armor and hired ourselves out as bodyguards.
Jester's a farmer, now. On Saleucami with another deserter while Fives," Echo
gave a grin, "is married to two Zeltron sisters we rescued from slavers and
they are all three ecstatically happy."
She had laughed at that, it fit Fives.
"Where is Rex now?"
"Upstairs."
Her eyes went wide and her fingers clutched the table. In spite of Aureki's
news, she had expected the name of some Outer Rim planet. She didn't want a
confrontation. She didn't want to hear words and recriminations; his or hers.
She wanted ... Her eyes closed.
"He doesn't know about your son." Echo said softly. "That's not my information
to give him." He looked at her, saw her tense face and touched her cheek
lightly with his fingertips then let his hand cup her face. She bent her face
into his hard-calloused hand. "He's harder than he's ever been but that's just
because..."
She spoke with him, "because he hurts." She nodded; Echo's hand fell from her.
Her own hands released the table.
"Oh, Echo, I thought I was finish with him. In my heart, I said he was dead
even though I knew it wasn't true, simply so I didn't have to take him into
account in my life. So I could make decisions. So my life could go on."
She looked into his eyes, golden-brown, like Rex's eyes, like Barin's eyes.
Like the eyes of the hundreds of men she'd lead and fought beside. Men bred for
war, men bred for loyalty.
"What will I do?" She asked softly.
Echo gave her a soft smile. "That depends on what you want. What you'll fight
for." He took her hands in his and set them to his face. "I'm here in case he
breaks your heart again. I won't just watch this time, I will beat him to a
bloody pulp and kick him off-world. I may not be what you want, but I'm here in
case you need me." His eyes were tired and shiny. "But I don't think you'll
settle for me." He set her hand down. "I think you'll go upstairs and confront
Rex. Remind him he loves you."
Ahsoka set her hand over Echo's hand. "Thank you, Echo." She rose and kissed
him softly. Thank you for everything." He handed her the room lock key.
Rex was lying on the bed when he heard the door open. "Any info, Echo? Are we
going to be staying around here for a while?"
"I think Echo got the information he needed."
Rex froze. It was her voice. He turned his head and she was standing there,
more perfect than he remembered. Her lekku were longer; her akul tooth
headdress had far more teeth. She was no longer a lanky kid; she was a woman of
twenty one. She shut the door behind her. He could stand this. He had seen her,
she was alive and he would stand anything she might say to him.
Rex shivered and shut his eyes then opened them facing the ceiling. He was
closing on twice her age now and he felt older than that. He could hear her
move closer but she said nothing. He was prepared for her to hit him. He
deserved it after what Echo had said. She'd trusted him and he had let her
down. He would let her anger make bruises in his flesh. He'd lie there to his
death if she demanded that.
She lay in bed next to him and, without thinking; his arm came around to
support her shoulders, her head. Her hand rested on his chest as she faced him.
"I..." Rex was at a loss for words; then he began, "I followed the orders."
"I know. Echo told me what happened, but it was no surprise."
"Where were you? I looked for you in the temple." He turned his head away from
her. "I was actually going to rescue you." He flushed. It sounded silly, now,
after so much death and so many years; after what Echo had told him.
"I was here, on Shili."
"Oh." Rex didn't think about that, simply glad she hadn't seen the horrors of
the massacre. "Did he tell you about Fives and Jester?" She laughed. It was
ease to his soul and he smiled. She could still laugh. "I guess he has. Can you
imagine Fives with two wives? Zeltron no less!"
She looked at him carefully, inspecting his face closely.
"Rex, have you laughed since I have last seen you?"
He thought about it. "I don't think so. There were some good moments, but no. I
don't think I've laughed." He looked at her. It was easy to see she had laugh,
had smiled, and had loved. It was so very easy to see that she had loved.
He turned his body a bit toward her. Softly, he kissed her forehead. "I
supposed you're married."
"No, although I recently received a proposal I am considering."
"Mmm." Rex murmured with a small nod. "He'd be a lucky man."
"He's aware of that. And I would be a lucky woman to marry him." She replied as
her hand came up to his face. He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers
then placed it back on his chest.
"Does that mean that you don't want me to kiss you?" she asked.
"It means that you shouldn't kiss me, no matter how much I want you to. Not if
you're considering marrying someone."
She gave him a smirk, so familiar from years past that his heart twisted. He
smiled and raised an eyebrow. That smirk had always meant trouble.
"You do know, my dear Rex, that Togruta usually marry multiple mates. A Shili
family isn't complete without two or three wives and just as many husbands."
He smiled. "What if he doesn't want to share you?"
"I think it would be more appropriate to say, what if you don't want to share
me."
His response was unexpected. He turned his face, but she caught the glimpse of
unshed tears. "Ahsoka, please don't tease me."
"What can I do, Rex?" She was suddenly serious. "I don't know if you want me.
Don't know how much you are willing to forgive what I said that day in the
mess. I don't know how much I'm willing to forgive what came after. I don't
even know why you're here. I have no idea what is between us anymore."
He faced her, took a deep breath, exhaled. "I love you. I haven't seen you in
five years and yet I see you every night, every morning. I hear your voice
every day. Not an hour goes by I don't think of you. Perhaps a memory or maybe
something you might enjoy." He dropped his head, ashamed. "I was sheb-headed
and didn't know what came after our argument in the mess." He looked into her
eyes. "I would have done something, believe that. Please." She nodded and he
continued, "Your padawan braid fell apart long ago from me holding it. I put
the beads on durasteel wire." He tugged the neck of his shirt down to show her
the beads lying against his neck. "There hasn't been a single day that I
haven't yelled at myself for chasing you away. Not a single day that I wouldn't
give up, just to have you back in my life."
Ahsoka sighed deeply. "I love you. Every day I wonder what you're doing at that
certain moment. I haven't opened myself to the Force since the night the Jedi
died, but I could always feel you with my heart. I always knew you were alive."
She rose up to look at his face, saw his contented smile and those honey-brown
eyes. She brought her face closer to his, kissing his lips and nuzzling his
face with hers.
"I have been very lonely without you, Rex. Please. Make love to me; bring us
together. Tell me you will stay."
"I will stay if you will have me. I will stay with you until I die." A look of
sorrow crossed his face; he'd wasted so much of his limited time, would have
wasted more if not for Echo. He touched her face gently with his fingers.
"How did I live without you for these five years?" He kissed her, his lips
caressing hers. She laughed for joy and kissed him back, running her fingers
into his shirt to draw shivers from him. He slid his hands under her top and
released her breasts. They were larger, less perfect, than when she'd been
sixteen. He tossed her top toward a chair, missed and didn't care. His thumbs
slid into her pants and pulled them down. Her figure was more womanly than it
had been. He enjoyed her movement; she atop and controlling him.
They were lying, relaxed on the bed and Rex drew his fingers over her belly.
Her muscles were still tight, she was a hunter, but there were a series of odd,
silvery lines low on her belly.
"Ahsoka," he asked, "Are these scars?"
"Yes."
"What happened? They're sort of parallel then radiating out." He had a good eye
for scars. He knew so many of them from the war, from his brothers. But he
didn't know these. "I'll kill the man who did this to you, or make you a rug
out of that animal's pelt."
She chuckled, a woman's laugh rather than a girl's giggle, and he liked that
very much.
"You did those, Rex."
He frowned at her and she kissed his face.
"Those are childbirth lines, from your son."
Rex froze, his fingers on her began to tremble and he turned pale. Slowly, he
shook his head.
"No, Ahsoka. Please. No." he whispered. His face twisted and those unshed tears
of earlier began to fall.
She tilted her head as she watched him, touched her hand to his cheek. "Yes,
Rex. Your son."
He turned his face away from her touch and covered her fingers with one hand.
"You don't know what I've done."
She smiled softly. "I know one thing which you've done."
"Don't," he snarled at her, jerked away, then sucked in whatever other angry
words he'd been about to say. "Ahsoka, you don't know what I've done," he
repeated. "You don't know…"
"Then tell me." She put her hand back to his face and drew him closer to her
until he could feel her breath on his lips.
He stared at her face, her eyes for an eternity; memorizing them. After he told
her, she'd turn from him and he'd never see her again. She'd take his son… his
son … away from his influence and that would be good. He didn't deserve a
child. He had blood on his hands. He'd been born that way.
"In the Jedi tower...” he began and watched her eyes close in remembered pain.
She'd been affected, even though not a Jedi. "I followed the general, had his
back." He let lose a noise between a chuckle and a sob. "He didn't need anyone
for his back where we went."
Ahsoka gave a soft answering mew of anguish, beginning to understand.
"We went up the stairs, to the upper level, where the council room was." His
voice was ice. Rex had to keep it ice; otherwise he'd never be able to speak.
Her shoulders were shaking and her head had dropped to her chest. She knew what
he had found there. Still, though, her hand was on his cheek, her other hand
covering her own lips in horror.
"There was no council in session though I'd been told that's why we were going
there. That's where the younglings went to hide. Skywalker knew that, we
didn't. He was a Jedi so they answered to him, they came to him." He was silent
as tears fell to her hand on his cheek. Rex didn't think he'd be able to get
through the next part. He grimaced, forced himself to talk.
"I started to ask what to do with them, thinking we'd be taking them somewhere
else. Before I could even begin to ask, he'd killed them. Jedi quick." He felt
her shudder, reached out his hand to touch her, brought it back without making
contact. He had blood, so much innocent blood on his hands. He didn't want to
contaminate her, contaminate his child.
"Body bags, Rex. That's what he said in answer to a question I hadn't even
asked. He turned to me and his eyes were red and his face demonic and I started
to raise my blaster at him. He didn't use the Force on me or even raise his
light saber. 'Orders, Captain. Follow your orders.' Then he was into the next
room."
Rex looked up to the ceiling. "I turned to my men." He shut his eyes, as if by
doing so he could block the visions from his mind. "'Kill everything'. I
ordered them. 'If it’s alive now, it better be dead when we leave." He noticed
that his voice shook, though it hadn't when he'd given that order. His chest
shook as the sobs racked his body. "…better be dead…" he repeated. For a
moment, his voice was normal, as though conversing about the weather. "It was
the most pivotal moment in Republic history and I let it happen." He let his
head drop backwards, eyes closed.
"Ahsoka, please go." he cried. "Take my son and leave and don't ever see me
again."
She put her other hand on his face and he grabbed at her wrists - to make her
release him or to keep her there, he didn't know. Her face was covered with
tears. "They were people, children you knew, Ahsoka. And I killed them."
"No." Her voice was firm in spite of her tears.
"Please Ahsoka. How can I hold my son and not think of those children? How can
I raise my son when I'm...?”
"What happened at the temple was not your fault."
He opened his mouth to protest, but she put her fingers on his lips. "Yes, you
participated. Yes, you gave terrible orders." She touched her lips to his.
"Echo says they were programmed orders, something you are required to carry
out. And the very next day, you ran from that atrocity you had committed. Can
you tell me that you don't regret it?" Her forehead was against his, her nose
touching his, her breath on his lips.
"Every day, I wished I'd died or tried harder to kill the general. I don't have
nightmares often, but when I do, it's the children in that room." His breathing
started to even out.
"Have you done anything similar since then?" she asked.
He jerked back. "No!"
"Then what happened is not a normal part of you. You were ordered, Captain."
Her use of his rank reminded him of the years of training and drills at Kamino;
years of war in which ‘captain’ felt more comfortable and familiar than ‘Rex’.
Rex leaned back, considering this. Her face was close to his, her tears still
damp on her cheeks. He rubbed the tears from his face with his palm.
Hesitantly, he reached to her face to dry those tears with his fingers.
"I'm scared, Ahsoka," he said as he touched her tears. "I’m scared that because
I was at the temple, my own child will be forfeit to some similar horror.
Because I didn't have a child, didn't know I had a son, I could manage to live
normally. I didn't touch children, Ahsoka. I didn't hold a baby born to a
brother. We rescued some children from slavers and I made sure not to touch any
of them. I let Echo and Fives take care of them. I felt like I'd contaminate
them with evil."
"Barin won't permit that. Your son loves touching and being hugged and held and
carried." Ahsoka laid her face into his neck.
"Barin." Rex said softly. He nodded. "It's a good name."
"Perhaps you can let him initiate touching you. Perhaps being there for him is
the price you'll pay for what you have done. Will you try that? Will you come
with me and meet your son?
Slowly, Rex nodded.
                          ---------------------------
Echo had waited downstairs, watching people walk by. They looked at him as
well, so obviously a stranger. He was happy to see Ahsoka and Rex coming down
the stairs holding hands. Her flush and his laugher at something she said made
him realize what they'd been doing. Not that it had been hard to guess. He gave
a wistful sigh. He almost wished that Rex had been in angry, thoughtless mode
and she'd come down alone, her eyes shiny with tears that he could wipe away.
They sat at the table with him. Rex's first words were "Echo, did you know I
have a son?" Then he laughed. "Of course you knew, didn't you?"
Echo nodded, wondering how much harder this would become for him. He wondered
at Rex's easy acceptance of a son, then noticed the red-rimmed eyes. It hadn't
been easy for Rex, but he was willing to try for Ahsoka's sake. Echo grimaced,
looking at his drink as though it was bitter. Rex had everything he wanted.
Echo had given it to him, had pulled him like a stubborn bantha into this
meeting. If he'd been a little more selfish ... If he'd loved her a little less
... He jerked himself back to the now at Rex's words to Ahsoka.
Rex had turned to Ahsoka, "Then we'll get married."
"No." she said softly. "I told you I had another proposal I was considering and
I must speak to him first."
Rex stiffened then nodded. "If he can share you, I can. Where have I been for
five years? Stubbornly ignoring you."
Echo frowned. He'd brought her Rex and she'd consider someone else? He suddenly
wished he'd researched more quickly, gotten here before this other person. What
had she said? 'So my life could go on.'He sighed, her life had gone on.
Ahsoka nodded. "If he chooses, he will be the father of my next child."
Rex nodded easily to that. He wasn't sure he'd make a good father, wasn't sure
he could manage being near a child, touching that innocence. "I'll need
practice with Barin. I've got years to catch up with him." Suddenly he started
with an odd look on his face. "Children don't break easily, do they?" he asked
with his voice soft as he remembered those broken bodies in the tower.
"Very easily" said Echo, remembering the tiny fragility of Cut's child in his
big hands, the bodies he had seen in the tower. He was still frowning over
Ahsoka's choice.
"Not at all," said Ahsoka, remembering Barin's rough and tumble play with his
older cousins.
Echo and Ahsoka looked at each other and laughed at each other's response, at
the incongruity they'd just given Rex.
Rex suddenly knew who'd proposed, suddenly knew why Ahsoka would grant Echo
first husband privileges. He loved Ahsoka with all his heart and mind and body.
Rex realized that he'd been sheb-headed in another way as well. Now he looked
at Echo, observed and remembered; realized that Echo had loved Ahsoka almost as
long as he had. That love had been hidden in the daily repetition of duty on
the Resolute, in the duty of battle, in the duty of service to the commander.
It had been Echo who'd looked for her, found her and out-stubborned Rex to
bring him here for her. All while Rex wallowed in self-pity. It had been Echo
who'd fought for her on the Resolute while he ignored what had been going on.
Echo who'd made him go to that good-bye meeting when he didn't want to see her.
Echo, who'd found her and been willing to give her up to Rex, loved her no less
than he loved his brother. Rex's breath caught at that kind of love, that
devotion. He was humbled as he'd never been by anyone's fists.
"Ahsoka," he said gently, looking at his brother with a soft smile. "Put him
out of his misery and tell him who will be first husband."
Ahsoka leaned forward, took Echo's hands and laid them against her face with a
smile and glistening eyes. "Echo, you proposed earlier today and I will accept.
Shili marriages are plural; two to three wives and the same number of husbands
is considered optimal. My sister would be interested in being co-wife, and you
will both meet her tomorrow, but if not, then I can manage being only wife to
two wonderful brothers as you." She paused, seeing the doubtful look in his
eyes. "This is not settling for you, Echo. This is not a reward for covering my
back all these years. This is love for you. Yes, I love Rex, but I love you no
less. This is because, now that you are back in my life, I cannot imagine
living my life without you. Can you accept that?"
Echo's brain was trying to think but not doing a very good job. Fortunately,
his heart had practiced this for years. "Yes, Ahsoka. Yes to anything. Yes to
everything." He looked into her eyes and smiled. "I love you." He gave her a
lop-side half grin. "Otherwise I'd never have brought Rex."
Rex nodded at this. "He had to bring me, Ahsoka. I was being stupid and
stubborn."
"Sheb-headed?" she asked with a grin. Then she turned to Echo and kissed his
palm, lingering, pressing his fingers into her face. "I will need you when he
is being stubborn. We can gang up on him."
Echo knew that she loved him as much as she loved Rex; knew she loved him for
his differences. Yes, she loved him for what he had done, but that was simply a
reflection of who he was.
Echo, his heart swelling, his hand tingling where she had kissed it, cupped her
face with it and drew his thumb over her lips. She kissed it then drew both men
up from the chairs.
"Get your belongings; we have a way to travel." She watched them with pride,
golden- and dark-haired twins, as they went to get their packs.
                        ------------------------------ 
They ran, Ahsoka in the lead because she knew the way. Rex and Echo, battle-
hardened, kept up easily. She slowed to a walk about a mile from her family's
home.
"It wouldn't be right to run into the clanstead. It would imply danger and
there's none." She reached out with her hands to take both of theirs, one on
each side of her.
"How will I know Barin?" asked Rex nervously. Ahsoka smiled.
"Other than the fact that he has your eyes and your hair and much of your face
as well as a lack of lekku? Mmm. That is a quandary."
Echo chortled.
Rex laughed nervously. "OK, I understand."
Ahsoka continued in a softer voice. "You'll think he is the most perfect child
in the world."
"I won't." It was a childish shout
Ahsoka sighed, "As well as the most stubborn." She pulled at their hands. "Come
on."
"Won't what?" she called out, loud enough to be heard.
The child's voice brightened. "Mama 'Ka." He shouted then came around the
series of boulders that marked the boundary of the clanstead. He stopped.
Inspecting the two men carefully, he slowly shifted his body side to side,
debating whether to run back to Mama 'Ki and hide behind her legs. He decided
that it was safe to approach. He came up and took his mother's hand from Rex.
Rex felt Ahsoka loosen her grip and he let go. Barin tucked himself between
them then picked up Rex's hand in his chubby little fist. Rex shivered, bit his
lower lip. Echo caught his eye, nodded softly.
"Won't take a bath."
Rex inspected his son with awe. Already he understood about Ahsoka saying he
was the most perfect individual he'd ever seen. He saw the eyes of countless
brothers behind those eyes, himself in that face and golden hair. Ahsoka's
perfect angles of lips, cheek and chin in the child. He looked and saw the
child; separate from his brothers, from Ahsoka, from Rex. He had never thought
to fall in love after Ahsoka left the Resolute. He was wrong. He looked into
those honey-brown eyes and fell in love. Rex watched, listened, memorizing his
son.
"Oh. Is that all?" asked Ahsoka. She took a sniff of the air. "Well, perhaps it
isn't you. Perhaps the akul are migrating."
The boy laughed quietly. "No akul. It's me. I was hiding from mama 'Ki."
"Really? Where were you hiding?"
"Everywhere!" the boy squealed with delight and raised both feet off the
ground. Ahsoka was prepared and Rex was strong. The boy swung high, laughing.
"Are you curious about these men?"
Barin shook his head as he took another leap and swing, giggling.
Rex smiled and let out a chuckle. Ahsoka turned to look at him. He was staring
at the boy, grinning with pure joy. He caught her eyes. For the first time in
her life, she saw peace there. She knew it wouldn't stay, but it was there for
now. Rex laughed, stopped and knelt to one knee in front of the boy.
"I'm Rex. I...”
"You're my da," said the child. Rex nodded, pleased, proud that Ahsoka had told
his son about him, at least that much. Barin turned to Echo and stared for a
moment. "You're Echo, aren't you?" He wasn't as sure.
Echo's eyes widened. She'd told her son about him? He was just a trooper, one
of 144 men in her command. He smiled back. He'd been her friend, then. "Yes,
I'm Echo."
Barin inspected them both; touched Rex's face with a dirty finger then took his
hand again. "Are you going to live here? With us?"
"Yes."
The answer pleased Barin. "You'll do."
Ahsoka closed her eyes in silent mirth and Echo had his head tucked into her
neck as his shoulders jiggled with laughter. Rex merely raised an eyebrow in
their direction. He glanced down at his son. The boy looked up at him, smiling
widely. Rex couldn't help but smile back.
A Togruta woman was watching them. She was taller than Ahsoka, with white
patterns curling from above her eyebrows, becoming parallel lines down the side
of her nose. She also wore the plain white jacket, sleeveless shirt and pants.
"Aureki, has he been this difficult all day?
"Ne ah, sister. He was hiding and I only came out every so often to make sure
he was hiding someplace in no danger." She fell in step with them, beside Rex.
"I got much work done in the meantime."
Rex laughed. "That was a good plan."
"Aureki, these will be my husbands. Echo and Rex."
Rex, watching, caught something of longing in her expressions. He smiled at
her, noticing something in the way she moved that was different; hesitancy and
a carefulness about how she moved. If he had seen her at a distance, he might
have said she was blind but she clearly saw.
""I didn't know I had a son until today." He said as some sort of introduction.
"Its … I can't explain it." He laughed. "But I've got years to catch up on."
Aureki smiled widely. "Barin is a joy and a delight." She mock-glared at the
boy who simply laughed as he swung between Ahsoka and Rex. "Most of the time."
"Do you have children, Aureki?" asked Echo.
"No. Only Barin." She blushed even though there was sadness in her voice. "I
have no husband."
"Aureki is headblind." Ahsoka said, very matter-of-factly. "When she was young
she was ill with an infection and she cannot echolocate. Most of the Togruta
consider her unmarriageable."
"Hmm," said Rex. "Headblind. You mean like humans?"
Ahsoka smiled. "Exactly like."
Having met his son, Rex understood Aureki's longing for a child. He'd caught
that she already considered Barin as her child. Having been a clone with
nothing except dreams, wants, wishes buried in training and battles, he
understood her longing for someone to hold her, to care about her.
His heart had been full of love for Ahsoka. He thought there'd be no room for
anyone else. When he realized what his brother had done and was willing to give
up for him. Rex's heart had merely grown to accept that love. He'd met Barin,
falling in love again so sharply, it was like a knife thrust. He could love
her, his heart could grow.
"Aureki, I'm only going to be second husband. Am I allowed to marry you too?"
"It must be allowed by first wife and first husband." Aureki looked at Ahsoka
with the look she never wanted to see again; the look that perhaps Rex and Echo
could erase from her life.
"Of course, sister. You are welcome to this marriage." They looked then to
Echo.
Echo knew that looked; recognized that longing. He had seen it so many times in
his own mirror. Wanting something you thought you could never have. He took her
in his arms, nodding.
"Yes, yes." Echo knew Aureki was a kindred soul and already part of Ahsoka and
Barin's life. He couldn't take her from them and if they found joy in her, then
he could as well. He'd never been a selfish man and there were some things he
had learned from Fives. He wiped small tears from her eyes and gave her a soft
kiss.
                        ------------------------------
He'd been sitting in the main room, reading, comfortable. The coals were warm
and he was wearing the cotton pants of a hunter and nothing more. She'd come
quietly into the room, put her hands on his shoulder, slid them down his chest
and whispered into his ear. "Come to bed, my husband." He had stood and
followed her to her bedroom without thinking. The bed was empty and his heart
quickened.
"Ahsoka, you don't have to…." He began.
"I want to, Echo."
"Look, I know that you love Rex."
"And loving Rex means I can't love you?" she asked with wide eyes. "Tonight,
Rex will be alone in bed, or watching Barin sleep, or be with Aureki while I am
with you. Or did you mean to go through years of marriage and never ..." She
smiled and Echo knew she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever known.
"That would have been enough." He admitted as he rubbed his hand over his head.
His hair was just long enough to not be military regulation, starting to curl
at his ears and the back of his neck. "I didn't think that far ahead. I thought
maybe it would be like being on the Resolute again. Being friends and chatting
at breakfast. Sparring and laughing. Even in the bad times, covering each
other's six." He smiled into her blue eyes. "Knowing you were there. That was
always enough."
"Knowing you were there was enough, too. Then, but not any longer." Ahsoka
smiled. "It was good. I felt surrounded, protected, by all of you. There was
love in some of you, appreciation in all of you." She got a wicked gleam in her
eye, "lust in most of you."
Echo's face froze. Ahsoka pushed him to the bed and he absently sat down on its
soft surface. She sat next to him, holding his hand, stroking it, bringing it
to her lips to kiss. She smiled mischievously as she looked into his eyes.
"It was impossible to be aboard the Resolute and not be aware of what most of
the men were thinking, dreaming, wishing, wanting, masturbating."
He blushed, "Ahsoka." He'd been one of those men. As he remembered it, every
one of them had been 'most of the men'.
"I got a very interesting lecture from… my master … about the wants and needs
and habits of virile young men and battle lust. Instructions. Warnings. Odd bit
of information. I went around for weeks afraid of practically saying a word and
wondering at what strange creatures men were." She laughed. "In retrospect, I
don't think he was the right person to give me that particular lecture."
"Probably not." Echo put his face in one hand. "Oh, no." he groaned,
remembering life in the barracks. He remember one time after battle, when he'd
seen her down the corridor and, catching up, had put his arm around her slender
waist and squeezed with joy that they were both alive. It could have meant a
demerit or an official reprimand, but he'd been too full of life-lust -
shereshoy, too glad to see she was alive. He'd gotten an odd look from her, but
she had smiled, put her arm around him and squeezed back. Fives had been
jealous for weeks. Now he wondered at her thoughts for that odd look, what that
look had meant.
"I will even admit," she smiled and reached to run her fingers through his
hair, gently kissing his cheek, "to occasionally peeping into some of the," she
looked for a word, "more individual dreams to understand these strange
creatures called ‘men’." She was suddenly solemn. "Including yours my husband."
"Is it possible to die of embarrassment?" he asked the universe in general. He
could swear the universe laughed at him.
"I don't think so," she replied to his question. She sat next to him. He could
smell the scent of her skin and he inclined his head closer to her. "I
particularly liked your dream after the battle at Geonosis II," she said
softly.
He blushed, but smiled. It was a dream-memory he had visited often for comfort,
for the illusion of love he'd built for himself within it. He'd visited it
often during the war; thought it destroyed after Order 66. Saoha had reminded
him of its existence.
"That was the first time I realized what love might be like." She smiled. "The
Jedi did not discuss love for individuals; love was an all-encompassing
compassion for all things. Something remote. To fall in love with Rex, I had to
know what individual love was and your fantasy that night was my first touch of
it."
He blinked. "Your first touch of love?"
She nodded softly, leaned in and kissed him on the lips. His arms came around
her shoulders and he lay back, bringing her onto his chest, kissing her back.
It felt right. He loved her. He had loved her for years.
She satisfied his heart and soul the way that Sula and Saoha had not been able
to touch. He was happy Saoha had shown him so much. He didn't feel embarrassed
or confused as he might have with less experience. There'd been less fumbling
on his part than on hers. He had delighted in Ahsoka's moans and soft cries of
pleasure.
Echo held her in one arm, the other behind his head. It would be dawn soon and
was not worth going to sleep. "What did you learn from others' dreams?" he
asked thoughtfully.
She laughed softly and gave him a kiss on his lips. He returned it, the arm
behind his head moving to hold her waist, move up to her cheek and caress it.
"Privileged information for you, my love." she told him. She thought a moment.
"Rex's fantasies were straightforward sexy. His dreams were very linear. They
served the purpose he put them to; usually to quiet his mind and to sort
through the day's information. He was very good at understanding people in his
dreams and that translated to his waking world. He was very good at picking up
subliminal clues." She paused. "For Rex, there was no … lingering, no
diversion."
"That's Rex, even his dreams put to work." he laughed softly. "Fives?"
"Oh, he wanted to be a hero all the time; very much a rescue-the-damsel-in-
distress hero. Oddly, the damsel in distress was always a part of her own
rescue, an equal partner in the endeavor. His dreams had the most humor; some
of it very slapstick." She bit her lip slightly. "During bad times during the
war, I visited Fives' dreams so often that I felt guilty and asked him if I
permission to do so. He was please, exuberant even, to share his dreams."
"Of course." he asked, grinning at the image of his brother's dreams and his
sharing. It made perfect sense. He frowned slightly. Fives had kept that a
secret? Hadn't bragged about it over Echo? Then he realized that sharing a
dream was probably more intimate than they'd been comfortable discussing.
"Countdown?"
Ahsoka groaned. "His dreams had the worst puns you can imagine. I would wake up
with some atrocious pun ringing in my mind. Some were visual and it would
bother me for days until it would come to me."
Echo laughed, remembering a moment past when she had been looking at a wall,
then suddenly put her head to her hand and groaned. "Kix?" he asked.
"Slightly kinky in a fun way. Always trying out something new mentally." She
grinned. "We'll have to try out some of his 'outdoor escapades'. I really like
the idea of making love in a treetop, though in his dream he had wings. But he
was very … ahhh … reserved in real life."
Echo raised his eyebrows. "You know about his ...Never mind. That's something I
really don't want to know." He thought a moment more and his eyes got sad.
"What about Chopper?" Ahsoka was quiet for a moment.
"Chopper had nightmares most of the time."
Echo nodded. "We all knew that. He got by on less sleep than anyone I've ever
met."
Ahsoka was quiet then, when she spoke, her voice was soft. "When Chopper had
dreams, they were the gentlest, sweetest dreams of love I've ever known. I'd
wake up crying from the beauty of his dreams." She shook her head, her eyes
glittering. "He was broken, you know. In ways I don't think anyone can
understand."
"We all are, Ahsoka." Echo said softly. "War does not heal people."
She held him a little tighter. Softly she whispered the small charm to heal and
quiet minds. "Haruu, haruu."
                        ------------------------------
Aureki shrieked in excited terror, clutching Rex's shoulders as he dropped from
the tallest branches, falling a man's height then catching a branch to slow his
descent and landed with a graceful bend of his powerful legs on one of the
wider branches of the tree further down. He unclipped the harness and she fell,
less gracefully, from his back. Echo was there, behind her, and caught her,
turning her around for a quick kiss before picking her up and tossing her
bodily back to Rex. Her voice combined indignation, excitement, laughter and a
little fear as Rex caught her with one arm and slung her over his shoulder.
"This is not dignified." she roared out in laughter and excitement.
"Dignity's overrated," called out Echo, laughing as he picked up the giggling
Barin and a pack. Barin he simply lifted to the next branch to Ahsoka's hands
then he pulled himself up with the strength of his arms and legs.
"Your turn, Aureki," Rex smiled and lifted her to the next level of branches.
She grabbed branches, clumsily with inexperience, with determination. She'd
never be able to do this with grace like her people; she'd never be able to do
this with strength like her practiced, warrior husbands. But she could see that
one day she'd be able to do this by herself. She laughed as she saw Rex lift
himself to a higher branch to sit and wait for her. Not reaching, not helping,
simply waiting, and knowing she could do. She was on his branch, her breath
coming fast. She grinned at him and stood her knees only slightly shaky. He
grinned back, gracefully brought his feet under him and stood, giving her a hug
and a kiss. He held the kiss and soon she was breathless for another reason. He
took her hand and they walked up the remaining branch to the top of the tree.
Barin was already chewing on a strip of meat while Ahsoka and Echo had waited
for her and Rex to join the picnic. There were only a few slender branches, too
slender to climb, providing shade, between them and the sky. She stood and
raised her arms, exhilarated; by the climb, by the vastness of the sky, by the
love of her family.
She was headblind and all her life, her people had told her she could not do
these things, had looked pityingly on her, had asked her parents to leave her
behind, had not permitted her to try. But her husbands, her stubborn,
headblind, human husbands, had insisted she learn to climb the tall trees. They
had shown her how, but she'd been afraid. So they made a harness and tied her
to their strong backs. Rex had taken her to the very top in the blackness of
night and lain with her on soft branches, reaching up to show her the stars.
Aureki had gasped at their beauty and seeming nearness, reaching out to almost
touch them, forgetting the height. Another time, Echo had moved through the
branches so dizzyingly fast, and not always upright, her breath could not catch
up to her. It had been terrifying and when he'd brought her to the safety of
the sacred ground, her knees were weak and her hands shook, but her eyes
gleamed. She had looked at her dark-haired husband's smile as he breathed
heavily from the exertion.
"Again," she had asked.
She understood now; the fear of heights, the fear of falling, the fear of
failure. None of that had beenherfear.
"Haruu," she called out in triumph. "Haruu."
                        ------------------------------
"No!" It was a scream of anguish and agony.
Echo was awake immediately, running for the other room. He hadn't heard that
cry in months, not since soon after the slavers, when there'd been children
around. He wasn't fast enough and he heard the sound of something break,
absently identified it as a door. Behind him, Aureki followed.
"Barin!" The cry ratcheted up in pained terror, beyond what Echo had ever
heard.
"Rex! Rex! Wake up!" Ahsoka's voice shouted.
Then he was in the room. Ahsoka turned toward him with questions and worry on
her face. Echo ignored her, grabbed Rex from behind, catching him as he flung
his fist again at the absent evil but a very present stone wall.
Rex fought him. "Give me back my son!" he shouted, struggling against Echo's
arms around him. Echo wrestled him to the floor; it was harder this time than
it had been before. Rex was fighting for his son now.
His eyes were open, but Rex didn't see Echo or Ahsoka, only those terrible red
eyes and the dying children. That death-filled figure turned toward a boy;
half-Togruta, blonde with the brown eyes of his father. "Barin! Run! Run! I'll
stop him!" He knew he couldn't stop Skywalker, but if Barin ran maybe he could
escape.
Echo knew Rex was back at the temple with Skywalker and the fallen Jedi
children. Barin being there was a new development, and Echo cursed himself that
he hadn't thought of that. He had thought of telling Ahsoka and Aureki about
Rex's nightmares, but figured Rex would do that. Judging from Ahsoka's pale
face, Rex hadn't mentioned it.
"It's ok, Rex. Barin's here. He's ok. We're all ok. Come on, Rex, come back.
Leave the tower, there's nothing there anymore. Barin's here at home."
Ahsoka joined in with Echo's calls. "Rex. Barin's here. He's fine. Come home,
husband."
Rex still struggled and his face twisted in hate. "Don't you touch my son!"
Echo replied, "Hush Rex. Barin's at home. He's ok."
Rex continued to struggle, but not as fiercely. His face twisted as he fought,
but the fight wasn't against Echo anymore. Echo knew he was trying to come out
of the night terror.
"Echo," he said through clenched teeth, not quite out of the terror but
recognizing Echo’s presence, "Where's Barin?"
"Here, my husband." It was Aureki's soft voice just outside the door. Rex
froze, his head turning toward the door. Aureki peeped in, noting Rex on the
floor, Echo's legs and arms restraining him, slowly letting go of him. Ahsoka
at their side, was stroking Rex's face with her hand, her other hand on his
arm.
Aureki moved into the doorway, the boy was a large bundle for her. Echo stood
to take Barin from her arms. The child was still asleep, but murmured something
and curled a little tighter in Echo's arms. Aureki glanced at Echo.
"He was very tired yesterday." She stroked the boy's hair. "Haruu, little one,
haruu."
Rex stood, came to inspect his son, but didn't touch him. He looked at Echo,
then Aureki. "Thank you."
"I'll put him back to bed. Rex, why don't you tell Ahsoka and Aureki about your
nightmares? Don't you think it's about time you did?" Echo looked at Rex who
winced.
He looked to Ahsoka. "War doesn't heal people, it breaks them."
"Haruu," she whispered, almost to herself and she placed her hand on Rex's
cheek. "Haruu."
"How did war break you, Echo?" Ahsoka's voice was soft.
"My break was pretty standard." He shook his head. "Nothing compared to Rex or
Chopper." He took a sip of his tea and released a long breath wondering how to
begin. "I don't believe that I'm anything more than an interchangeable clone.
That was programmed into us troopers at Kamino. More so than the CS and CC
groups. My wants, my needs are secondary to everything else; for years I
believed my only needs and wants were air to breath, food and drink, and orders
to carry out." He looked into the depths of his tea, sorrowing for his younger
self. "I've worked hard, thought things through so many times, that I sometimes
think I'm getting over that programming. Then something happens and I realize
it’s as powerful as ever." He paused. "The ARC training helped in some ways,
like defining 'need' and putting some brakes on unlimited sacrifice. It helped
me in balancing my needs versus others demands. But the base foundation was
laid down long ago. The war stripped away whatever tiny self-esteem I ever had.
I was nothing more than an effective mechanism for blasting droids."
He looked into Ahsoka's eyes. "I'm your man because I can never be my own."
There were tears in her eyes. "Does that mean that marrying me, marrying us,
was just duty?"
"No, no!" Echo hugged her. "I love you and I love my brother." He smiled, "I'm
coming to love Barin as himself instead of as a part of you and Rex. I've
learned to love Aureki." He paused, "but loving you began as duty. As a new
clone out of Kamino, I had to give my loyalty somewhere. We were bred with
loyalty, but it has to have a focus. Some of us gave it to the GAR, some to our
individual captains or commanders or to a particular company or unit. Chopper
gave his loyalty to Slick and you saw how that broke him when Slick turned
traitor. It took you and Rex close to two years to make him back into a good,
solid trooper. I chose to give my loyalty to my commander, to you. Rex also
earned my loyalty." Solemnly, he bent his head to her face. "That's what
stopped me in the tower. I asked myself if my actions were loyal to my
commander and I saw that they were not."
"So part of the reason you found me was you needed a focus for your loyalty?
You needed someone to give you orders?" Her voice was soft.
"I found you because of Rex's need for you. I found you because you could make
it all right, make me understand. Not to give me orders but to be my compass.
Slightly different, don't you think?" Echo watched her carefully. Slowly she
nodded and he continued. "Seeing you again when we came to Shili, I knew I
would do anything to keep you in my life. I thought it would be hard, because
by then I loved you, but I didn't have enough ... me ... to think I deserved
you."
"Then what made you say 'yes'"
His lips twisted. "I don't want to tell you because I don't want you to think
this was just for duty." He bit his lip and shook his head. "You said, 'I
cannot imagine living my life without you'. Yes, it's duty. It's loyalty.
That's what made it possible for me to say yes. But it's more than just duty,
more than just loyalty. I've loved you, forever, it seems." He made a startling
realization. "I love you partially because you give me, me. You always have.
You see more to me than just the loyalty; more than duty, or being a trooper, a
flesh-droid, a mechanism for destruction and war, a piece of machinery."
He reached for her, his face and body hesitant that she would go, worried that
it wasn't enough. "Ahsoka, in your heart, I am greater than I am in my own."
She came into his arms, burying her face into his shoulder. War had broken her
husbands, circumstances had broken her sister. She hoped love would help mend
them.
 
***** The Escape *****
                           Five Years after Order 66
                   ---------- Planning the Escape ----------
They meet Fives in Corvala, at the docking port. He told them to come and where
the ship would be. It was dangerous, but Fives had been insistent. Sula wasn't
there but Saoha was, as well as Waxer and Numa. They met inside the ship, Fives
and Waxer would not leave it. Too many clones together in public were a danger,
an invitation to bounty hunters and Imperials alike.
Echo smiled to see Fives; it had been almost a year since he had gone with Sula
and Soaha. He looked ecstatically happy; he looked like a pirate. He had a gold
ring in his ear. His hair was a wild mane of waves braided haphazardly with
beads and small bells. His small beard was carefully trimmed with the tip of it
dyed metallic gold.
"I took some lessons from Jester." he said in answer to Echo's shocked
expression. "People look at glittery things, not faces."
Saoha was kindness itself and as erotic as ever. She gave Rex and Echo long
full body hugs and deep kisses. She gave the same to Ahsoka, though the kiss
wasn't quite as deep and both Rex and Echo's eyebrows rose at Ahsoka's
acceptance of the Zeltron greeting. Rex looked at Ahsoka in shocked surprise,
Echo at his brother, Fives, and they both grinned –oh so wickedly. Saoha gave
Aureki a softer kiss, called her sister, and Echo could see Aureki’s relief.
Fives hugged his brother, delighted to see Echo again. He gave a laugh while he
clasped hands with Rex as they slapped each other on the shoulder and he smiled
softly in welcoming wonderment at Ahsoka.
"I'm so glad you weren't there," he said as he gave her a hug and soft kiss on
the cheek. It wasn't quite the Zeltron greeting Echo expected of Fives, but it
was the right greeting between them. Then Fives simply stared at Barin, looking
from him to Rex and back again. He took the boy's small hand in a brother's
clasp, hand to forearm, and showed him how it was done.
Barin lost all fear and began asking questions. Questions about the ship, and
could he drive and why did pirates wear a gold ring and was he a good pirate or
a bad pirate. Fives had laughed and taken the boy to the cockpit, locked down
the systems, and sat him in the pilot's seat. Barin's eyes had gotten wide and
soon the soft sounds of 'zoom, buzz' could be heard. Aureki chuckled softly,
gave Fives a soft kiss and sat in the co-pilot's seat to watch over Barin.
Waxer was restrained, a little concerned the effect the Zeltron greetings might
have on his daughter, and happy for some new recruits in Boil’s latest
business. He was shocked to see Ahsoka, to have a Jedi still alive.
"An ex-Jedi," Ahsoka explained
"I suspect that's like me being an ex-trooper." he said as the corners of his
lips twitched then upturned. "The 'ex' being irrelevant." He, also, had stared
at Barin then Rex. He hugged his daughter closer to him, whispered something
Twi'lek to her. My beloved daughter. She had tightly hugged him around the
waist.
Fives brought them caf and tea as they all sat at the table. It was crowded and
his heart flew to be together, planning again with his brothers. Fives nodded
to Waxer who leaned forward, his arms on the table with his fingers
interlocked.
"Boil originally stayed in the Imperial Army to cover my desertion," began
Waxer. "He covered my running and had planned to get out within a couple of
months. But he always sent messages saying he'd gotten new business." Waxer
gave a grimace and glanced at the dark surface of his caf. "I know he helped
six troopers run, probably more, because those six were from the 212th or were
men I knew. Recently though, he sent me another message. In several days the
prison transport, Arkayd, will be taking twenty-three clone deserters, back to
Kamino for reconditioning."
There was a soft sigh from the group. So many troopers. So few troopers.
Waxer continued. "If we don't come up with a better plan, he's going to set
sufficient explosives on the Arkayd for an evacuation. A slow detonation. Then
get the prisoners into escape pods. He's hoping that we'll be able to collect
the prisoners before the Imperials show up."
"That's not a bad plan with a little help," said Ahsoka.
"Not really a good one, either," returned Rex. "Too haphazard; too dependent on
luck and even if it succeeds, they'd know it was an escape and there'd be more
Imperial searches and bounty hunters looking for clones."
Fives shrugged. "It's a big galaxy to hide in. We've got room here for that
many men. It'll be crowded." He smiled at Saoha and circled his arm around her
waist, bending his head to her ear. "We'll need to be fast to pick up, empty
and jettison the pods. Twenty-three men is about five pods full. Can you let
Boil know to crowd them in and maybe we can manage with just two or three
pods?"
"I'll fly. Fives will need help with the pods," Sasha’s voice was sultry. She
stroked Fives’ arm, leaning her head against his chest.
"That'll be me assisting Fives," said Waxer. "Unless you want me in armor
aboard the Arkayd. Boil can probably substitute me in somewhere."
"Boil can substitute me on board as well," said Rex, his earlier objections
still in his mind, but unwilling to let twenty-three brothers go to
reconditioning.
Echo shook his head. "Not anymore, Rex. You don't walk like a trooper anymore.
None of us do, really. Although Waxer still moves like a scout."
"Paranoia," explained Waxer.
Echo thumbed his lower lip and looked at Ahsoka with concern in his eyes. She
understood, gave a soft smile and nodded.
"Boil's plan is decent. It just needs some touches." He looked at Rex. "For
instance, the ship must be destroyed. It cannot be salvageable or they'll
notice the lack of bodies. It cannot be simply blown up. It must be destroyed
completely. Otherwise they will know that the troopers escaped. Right?"
Rex nodded slowly, wondering what his brother was getting at and suspecting a
trap.
Echo took a breath. "That means it needs a pilot on it."
"That's me," said Ahsoka softly.
Rex frowned, his lips twisted. He wanted to object. "Something that big, you'll
need a co-pilot." He could have smacked himself; that wasn't an objection, it
was acquiescence.
"Not if I just input coordinates for a star and hit the hyperdrive." she
replied.
Echo turned to Waxer. "How good it Boil with explosives? Can he make the ship
blow up in the pattern he wants? Scare out everyone while making them think the
prisoners are already dead or not worth rescuing?"
"Boil says that isn't a problem. Standard orders for prison ships changed after
Gorman. These days only crew and support are evac'ed." Waxer had a sour look on
his face. For a moment the entire cabin was silent.
"Zoom, zap." came Barin's small voice.
"So we have to make sure the troopers are evac'ed out first." Echo picked up
after that brief silence of mourning. "That those pod sensors are deactivated
so they can't see back at the Arkayd. Then we have to make sure the prisoners
get out. Essentially on the other side of the ship. Pick up these pods. Get the
men and get out of the system, without being noticed."
"Why use the pods?" asked Numa, her brow wrinkled. "If you going to have a
pilot on the ship, then you can move them ship to ship. Can't you?"
They stared and Rex dropped his forehead into his hand, Fives laughed and Echo
chuckled as he put his fingers to cover his eyes.
"That's the problem with modifying existing plans. Something obvious gets
totally overlooked." Echo knew that would have caught that when they went to
the actual planning instead of going over generalities, but he smiled at the
girl. "Thank you for noticing that. Saoha, can you land ship to ship with a
destroyer about to blow up?"
She shrugged. "I don't have a license for it, if that's what you're asking. I
think I can." She grinned. "Sula could do it, she's a better pilot." Her hands
went to Fives arms, rubbing his agitation away. "We can manage," she told Fives
quietly.
"Hope so," muttered Fives.
"Is there a problem?" Rex asked Fives.
Fives shrugged and Saoha answered. "Not really. Sula's … expecting."
There was a few moments of general joviality—congratulations, backslapping.
Then back to the business of rescuing brothers.
                         ---------- Contact ----------
Ahsoka met Boil in a bar, recognizing him from Waxer's and Numa's perceptions
and her own vague memories from Geonosis. He was a sergeant, no longer a scout.
She noticed he walked differently from Waxer's perception of sleek grace. Now,
combat authority rang in his footsteps. He was older than Numa's perceptions.
There were too many lines on his face, too little laughter around his eyes. His
hair had fine streaks of grey at the temple; his carefully trimmed mustache was
sprinkled with grey.
At first, Boil tried to dissuade the Togruta woman from sitting with him and
she left his table with good grace and a soft touch on his hand. She'd been
familiar, but this was a bar he frequented often and he sometimes paid a woman
for her company. Some of his squad were also in the bar and cat-called good-
naturedly.
"Come on, sergeant. You need to lead us." but Boil ignored them after a small,
tight smile. They were decent troopers, but he had other problems at the
moment. He hadn't heard from Waxer yet. He needed Waxer's assistance with this
one. The Arkayd had already re-supplied, and was ready to depart on schedule in
one day. He was duty sergeant on it. The perfect place to be, the right time.
Twenty-three men! But he needed someone to get the escape pods. He could not
think of any other way, anyone else to help.
He looked up in surprise as the bartender delivered him a drink. "It's from the
lady," he gestured at the woman, "From Numa, sir." Boil froze and looked at
her. He never mentioned Waxer or Numa or Ryloth these days, but there were
people from his past who knew.
"Where's Numa, Boil." Cody had angrily asked one day as Boil walked the
perimeter.
In shocked surprise, Boil had answered him truthfully. "With Waxer."
Cody had dropped his head, suddenly no longer angry. He had signed off on
Waxer's death notice. "I'm sorry."
And Boil had wanted to tell him.
Boil had cursed his inattentiveness. That had been the last time. You couldn't
do this and be inattentive.
He'd have to be careful. He met her eyes and then nodded. A short, curt little
nod. She came and sat with him, sat next to him, sat close to him. Smiled
softly, genuinely. She was familiar. The men from his squad gave a small cheer
turning back to their talk.
"Perhaps we could go somewhere more private and discuss," she paused, gave him
a soft kiss on his cheek, "future plans?" She dropped her eyes. "Sadly, I'm
only here for one day. My transport leaves tomorrow." For Boil, it was enough
of an unplanned code. He was that desperate.
Boil rose from his seat and gave her his hand. Ahsoka went with him, her facial
markings disguised. She was flirting, smiling, a lovely woman for the sergeant.
His troopers tried to be surreptitious as they gave him thumbs up or winked,
but she laughed softly at those little encouragements.
Boil smiled, but only with his lips, as they strolled along the park's pathway.
It was restricted to clones of sergeant or above rank; further in, around the
lake, it was restricted to captains and commanders.
"This is it for me. I'm done for," he acknowledged. Every time he got someone
out, the regulations changed to plug that hole. He was teaching them to be
better jailers. The last few times had been deadly close, but he'd been lucky.
His luck wouldn't hold and he knew it. Just one more job. If only his luck held
for this last job.
They walked casually, his arm around her waist; merely two people attracted to
each other. Ahsoka found it disconcerting; physically so much like, yet
emotionally so different from both Rex and Echo. She smiled and tucked her head
against his shoulder for anyone who might be watching. He had a warm,
comfortable Force signature; stronger and more defined for his choices, for
what he'd done.
"You're at the end of your endurance, Boil." And he knew, because he hadn't
told her his name. "It's almost time for you to go home."
"Yes." He gave her a weary smile. "This is obviously a change, so what's the
plan?"
"Modified from yours. You get me near the ship, point it out for me. And I get
on."
Boil laugh. "Not that easy."
"How about if you're a Jedi?" she asked softly and his face became thoughtful
and he nodded slowly. He felt safer knowing this about her; finally remembering
who she was though his brain wondered how she'd gone from an excitable, gangly
youngster to a woman with grace and dignity. She had soft lines of laughter
around her eyes. He smiled thoughtfully into those eyes, momentarily wondering
how her life had gone.
"Then what?" He returned to the business at hand.
"We get the men off, ship to ship. It'll be crowded but doable. To prevent any
detection of escape, the ship accidentally goes into hyperdrive and ends up in
a star. If you don't know, I'll tell you where to put one of the explosives so
the crew believes the hyperdrive has been damaged. If that's reported, they're
less likely to think of escape; to try to find us."
He nodded. If they could do it, it was better than his plan. "What about the
pilot?" Ship to ship transfer needed a pilot.
"That's me." She grinned.
He chuckled. "Multi-talented, aren't you? I didn't know you flew but seeing as
you were Skywalker's padawan..."  She winced in pain and Boil remembered what
had happened to all the Jedi.  "I'm sorry."  He was silent for a moment. It was
nice to be with someone you trusted. "How's my family?"
"They miss you."
"I've missed them. But there was always more to do." Even to her he would not
say aloud what he had done, how many men he had helped run. And, how many had
died.
She sighed, understanding his emotion. "You can't save everyone."
He grabbed her in both arms, pressed her against the broad truck of a tree and
buried his face into her neck. "I've tried." he whispered. "I tried."
To whoever might be watching, it looked passionate. Ahsoka felt his hot tears
on her neck as she enveloped him in her arms around his shoulders.
He showed her the ship, the sergeant showing his girl his authority, to the
delight of some of the troopers who hoped they'd make sergeant one day.
He pointed out the exterior where the prisoners would be on the inside of the
ship, whispered the locations of security vids, his arm around her, to the
delight of the troopers who hadn't thought their stern sergeant much of a
ladies' man.
He escorted her out of military access. Some of his men saw her give him a kiss
at the gate.
                        ---------- Prisoners ----------
Ahsoka used the Force, pulled into herself as tightly as possibly, extending no
further than the mind of a trooper or two, to enter the ship in the hours of
dark and hide. She avoided the surveillance vids Boil had told her about. Once
in the Arkayd, she positioned herself to see the prisoners when they were
brought on board and meditated while she waited. Her breathing was measured,
even and deep. Her eyes were open; observing. Her touch with the Force was
passive, simply accepting the still motion, the intangible opposites that were
the breath of the Force.
She came out of meditation as the prisoners were marched onto the cargo deck.
They were naked, psychologically bereft of the slightest armor. She was glad
Waxer had warned them of that, though it had mostly been his paternal concern
for Numa. They had clothes on the ship. A flat metal band was on each man's
neck; identifiers and trackers. Boil had told her not to worry about those;
he'd take care of them. He had paused in his briefing, and then told her how to
use the small handheld device to remove them. In case something went wrong and
his luck didn't hold.
Ahsoka recognized men from Torrent Company. Jesse was one of the first she saw,
his face angry and bitter, his Galactic Republic tattoo now written in recent
cuts and old scars. Kix was next, helping an injured man who was pale, limping
and holding his side. Several men she didn't recognize followed, one clutching
an arm tightly to his chest. They didn't even have bandages and her lips lifted
in a snarl at the cruelty. She saw Sketch, from General Kenobi's company,
moving slowly, dragging one terribly twisted leg, assisted by Chopper. Her eyes
welled as she saw Chopper. He had more scars, but looked no older than the last
time she had seen him, more than five years ago. She knew it was because he had
looked so old so young. Countdown and Pax were there. She almost gasped to see
Commander Cody. He'd been marked as dead in the lists, as KIA by a rogue Jedi.
Ahsoka knew why. He had sufficient rank, authority and charisma that his
running would have influenced many more clones to run as well.
She saw Cody recognized Boil even in armor, his shoulders tightened and scorn
dripped from his expression. She saw Boil jerk back, as though hit by the acid
of that scorn.
Ahsoka recognized readiness in their stance, defiance in the set of their
faces, a tendril of planning in the Force, a preference to die like this rather
than be returned to Kamino.
No, no, she thought. Please don't. She reached out to Cody through the Force.
He stiffened momentarily, recognizing … something he hadn't felt in a long
time.
"Gentlemen," he said. "We haven't got all day." He moved towards the ship.
She caught the confusion of the men and breathed relief as they entered the
transport without their planned rebellion. She felt confusion in the dock
guards as well. They'd expected rebellion, they were prepared for it.  Some of
them had anticipated it eagerly.
She moved around the ship, planting nervous suggestions in the minds of the
pilots and the Imperial troopers to ensure departure in the event of an
emergency. Then she waited, in the small vents near the prisoners. That had
been much easier when she'd been smaller, younger. When it had been adventure
she thought of most and not lives. While she waited, she sent touches of the
Force to Cody, reminding him of Boil, of better times, when they'd been on the
same side. They still were, Cody just didn't know it.
She felt one explosion, then another, rock the ship. Boil had planted the first
one to cut off access to the portside escape pods forcing the troopers to use
only one bank of pods - the ones away from the prison cells. The second
explosion had been near the hyperdrive links. There were more, rigged to
explode and destroy everything in twenty minutes. In case. Ahsoka appreciated
Boil's planning. He was thorough.
Ahsoka moved toward the bridge, Jedi silent, letting men pass her in orderly
panic, to the accessible escape pods. The bridge was empty when she got there.
Without her suggestions, they probably wouldn't have gone as quickly.
Ahsoka set the coordinates she had memorized for a path directly to a nearby
star There wasn't so much as an asteroid in the pathway, nothing to divert the
ship, to slow it in any way. If the Imperials ever suspected, they'd never know
for certain. She felt through the ship for life. There were only the prisoners,
their signatures too close to individually identify, and one warm, comfortable
Force signature running toward the cells.
As the other men moved toward escape pods, Boil made his way to the prison
cells. He heard the thocks as the pods detached. He tossed aside his Imperial
helmet.
"This is a rescue." He said as he reached the cells. "In case you haven't
figured that out yet." He opened the force shields. He hoped they'd heard him,
understood him, and wouldn’t attack him. Being attacked by the man he was
rescuing had happened twice before. He glanced into the cells. A group this big
would kill him. "I'm here to get you home." Boil shook his head. That was
stupid. Where was home? But the words seemed to work and the men simply stood,
waiting for directions.
"Commander." His voice was tight, remembering that scorn, as he gave a quick
nod to Cody who acknowledged him.
"Boil, under the circumstances, it’s good to see you." Cody's lips turned up at
the corners, it was the barest shadow of a tired smile.
Boil's tired eyes brightened. Before he had family, his loyalty had been to the
commander.
"Follow me. We're going to do this, ship to ship, through an emergency hatch
culvert portside." He held up a small machine. "Line up first, so I can get
your trackers off."
Cody lifted his chin for Boil. The metal strip sluiced through the machine and
landed on the deck with a surprisingly musical noise. Cody gestured to the men.
"Do it and let's go."
The prisoners moved with Cody, assisting each other. Quickly and in some form
of order, they moved portside in the culvert below the upper deck walkway.
Suddenly an emergency hatched popped with a slight hiss and the clang of forged
metal as the door dropped to the deck. Suddenly, there were several other men,
brothers, helping them.
Cody was brought up short to see Rex. He gave a slow, delighted grin and
clasped Rex's hand quickly. "Here men, in here." he called absently.
From the early days of the war, Rex had been his best brother, his confidant,
his mirror. Then Rex had deserted and Cody had sworn he'd hunt him to his
death. Now Cody was the mirror. "Good to see you, brother." he told Rex.
Rex, unable to speak through his surprised joy, slapped the not-dead-at-all
Cody on his shoulders.
"Seven minutes," shouted the ship's com.
Chopper, one of the last men to lose his tracker, heard that voice and halted.
"Commander?" he said softly, his brows drawing low. He saw the ghosts of Echo
and Rex. He shook his head sadly, sat and slumped against a corridor wall.
Echo's ghost ran over as Chopper curled into a ball for warmth, his arms around
his knees, his chin resting gently on one knee, thinking.
"Chopper, what’s wrong?"
"The commander died at the Order." Chopper's voice was raspy. He hadn't used it
much in prison. After the first year, they hadn't asked him any questions.
"It's just another nightmare." he said so matter-of-factly it sent shivers down
Echo's back.
"No, she didn't die. She wasn't there." Echo touched a stiff shoulder.
Chopper didn't object to the ghost's touch. He'd be a ghost soon enough. It was
actually kind of nice to know he'd be in good company.
Echo's ghost continued speaking. "She's here to rescue you. Everyone who's
here."
"Echo, you're a ghost too." Chopper gave a feeble push with his hand, less at
the ghost than at a past of too much pain.
"She'll be disappointed. She's come so far. Come on Chopper, don't make me
carry you."
"Six minutes," rang the intercom in her voice. "I'm on my way."
Chopper's eyes got shiny and he wiped at them. He didn't cry in front of others
and a ghost counted just as much as a live man. This ghost more than most.
There wasn't much time, but Echo knelt, eye-level to Chopper. "Remember the
argument?"
Chopper's lips formed a firm line and he nodded. He'd gone one-on-one for the
commander. He'd planned to go one-on-one with Echo and Fives against the
captain.
Echo continued. "She was pregnant and the Jedi sent her away. She wasn't there
when the Order was given. Nowhere near the temple because she wasn't a Jedi
anymore. Me and Rex, we married her."
He could feel Chopper move from tense stillness to interested stillness and
Echo continued. "The Togruta count their wealth in family. We have family. Rex
has a son. Ahsoka's going to have my child in about six months. She says it's
going to be a girl. Can you imagine, Chopper? Me, a father." Even in the
circumstances, Echo's thoughts paused in wonder and he got an absent smile on
his face. Him! A father!
"You let her come here?" Chopper snarled.
Anger was very good, Echo decided, Chopper still cared.  He had never stopped
caring.
"I've learned that my wife will have her way. And not just because she used to
be a Jedi. Don't you want to find out, Chopper. Everything that's happened
since you were captured? We thought you'd died."
"They told me she was dead. You, Rex. Everyone was dead."
"They lied to you, Chopper. They lied to us. They lied to everyone. You know
that. Why should this be any different? Come on. Please."
Echo tugged at Chopper who rose slowly to his feet. His eyes held doubt in
them, like he expected Echo to vanish. But he moved into the little ship, now
full of men pulling on soft clothing. He had trusted Echo alive, why shouldn't
he trust Echo's ghost? But it was not until he saw the commander running down
the corridor and into the crowded ship that the last bitter dregs of hate and
anger finally died inside Chopper.
                  ---------- Four Views of Escape ----------
Cody noticed the ship was piloted by a cherry-red Zeltron, ready to pop in
pregnancy, and a shaggy-headed man who, after a longer look, was identified as
a brother, someone vaguely familiar. Another Zeltron woman, pink-lilac in
color, was rubbing the pilot's shoulders and breathing in quick puffs. Cody
wasn't sure if the Zeltron presence, with their reputation for emotional
empathy, was brilliant or stupid or simply coincidence. The pregnancy argued
for coincidence.
Boil was leaning against the wall, his eyes closed with a small content smile
on his face. Cody owed him an apology – about twenty-three of them. He
recognized long hours of work in Boil's ragged, tired face, the dark circles
under his eyes. Possibly more. Waxer and Numa were beside him. So, Numa had
been with Waxer, it had simply been that Waxer was alive, had run. Cody smiled
at that. He like having something to smile about, after so long. He remembered
Boil bringing him Waxer's helmet and notification of death to sign three years
back. His smile froze.Boil had been doing this for three years? He definitely
owed Boil apologies.
The cherry-red Zeltron pilot switched places with the lilac-pink one. For a
moment the very pregnant Zeltron leaned against the man and Cody, seeing the
tattoo, finally recognized Fives. Fives cradled her in his arms and carried her
to a cabin as he called over his shoulder, "Kix, I'll need you. At least for a
few minutes."
"I can help if you need someone, Kix." shouted Echo, handing out provisions,
though there was dread in his voice.
Cody moved to Rex's side. "Anything I can do?"
Rex gave a cocky grin and handed him a bottle of water. "Pass out supplies and
start planning your future."
                        ------------------------------
Ahsoka moved into the pilot's seat next to Saoha. Chopper quietly moved to sit
on the floor next to her. He leaned against her seat, his elbows on his drawn-
up knees. A small, bemused smiled played on his lips.
"Chopper." Ahsoka's acknowledged him, dropped a hand to softly brush the broken
stubble on his head, to rest on his shoulder. He didn't flinch as he had so
often on the Resolute. She'd been worried that prison would bring back the old
Chopper, the Chopper who'd been broken so badly by the traitor.
"Commander." He replied, taking her hand in his and giving it a soft kiss in
the palm. "Thank you." Then he let her hand go.
Ahsoka started in surprise. No, this wasn't the old Chopper at all.
Ahsoka and Saoha cut the first jump close, skimming the bigger ship, staying in
its electronic shadow, and going into hyperspace as it went into hyperspace.
Something only a Jedi's perfect timing could do. Dangerous, but not as
dangerous as being detected. After each jump, they planned to cut power and
rest, drifting dead in space to make sure no one followed.
                        ------------------------------
Kix had never delivered a baby before. He was a combat medic. But he looked at
the serious expression on Fives' face. He'd heard Echo's call and nodded at
Fives. "I'd like Echo here, too." Fives turned a deadly pale, but he nodded and
left the room for a moment.
"You needn't be so nervous," said the woman with a smile. "My baby is a happy
child, eager to see the world."
"I hope so, ma'am, he replied. “I hope so. I've just never done this." Soothing
words, soothing words. Kix had learned long ago that soothing words sometimes
worked better than anything else.
She touched his arm. "I know." He looked at her, saw she was Zeltron and was
embarrassed at not realizing that instantly. She was bright red, for kriff's
sake. How could he miss that?
Echo came into the cabin, his mouth in a tight line, worried for her. Sula
glanced at him, holding out her hand. "Echo. Come hold me. There is no trouble,
he is simply inexperienced."
"Is that it, Kix?" Echo said as he sat at the side of the bed, putting his arms
around Sula, letting her use his strength to sit up. A contraction hit and she
grabbed his arm, leaned into his chest and panted.
"Yes, Echo." Kix replied sourly. "We didn't have too many pregnant women in the
GAR." He moved between her legs, gently laid his hand on her belly, covered by
the soft material of her gown, and was shocked when it rippled. "I know the
theory, at least." Kix admitted. "But it's all theory."
To his surprise, both Echo and the woman chuckled.
"I think," said the woman between her quick breaths, "you just catch."
Echo gave her a quick kiss. "I'm here for you, Sula." Then he turned to Kix. "I
guess that makes me the experienced one here. I've help deliver one baby." Echo
nuzzled the woman with a smile. "Fives should be here instead of me." He hadn't
finished the sentence before Fives opened the door.
"Saoha said you wanted me here." There was fear and concern in his voice.
"Take my place here," Echo commanded as he moved. "There's nothing wrong, Kix
just wanted a second opinion." Fives moved behind Sula, supporting her in his
arms, against his chest, whispering word of love in her ears.
Kix looked up at Echo. "What the kriff happen at that delivery, Echo?" Kix
asked softly.
Echo patted his shoulder. "You don't want to know, Kix. Certainly not at the
moment."
"Later, then?"
Echo nodded. "Yeah, when this one is over."
                                     * * *
Echo marveled at the ease of this delivery and the pleased wonderment on Kix's
face as he held the newborn girl in his hands. Kix placed the baby against her
mother's side while he waited for the cord to stop pulsing. He tied it off, cut
it and handed her to her mother. The Zeltron, Kix couldn't remember her name
though he'd been hearing it for several hours, reached out for her child. She
was held and hugged and supported by Fives. The baby didn't cry and Kix was
worried about that. Babies were supposed to cry, to clear out their lungs. The
Zeltron woman laughed softly at both Echo and Kix.
"She is Zeltron. She can feel the emotions here and they are good emotions. We
do not cry at birth."
Echo slapped Kix on the shoulder. "You seemed to like delivering babies."
"Yeah," nodded Kix with a grin. "It was …" He moved his hands in circles. "It
wasn't" His arms jerked and his fingers spread. He smiled, gave up trying to
explain. "Yeah."
Echo shrugged as he stood. "I'll introduce you to a doctor where we're going.
Maybe he'll take you on as an apprentice."
                         -----------------------------
Saoha's breath caught at the emotions on the tiny ship. She was amazed emotions
that big and wide and deep and intense could be contained in so small a place.
From some men she caught the pain of injury. That one had broken ribs, a
fracture femur, and some internal injuries. This one had an old injury that
still pained him, a twisted leg where bone rubbed against bone. Here she caught
new bruises, a midnight pummeling for disobedience. Another one, they'd put
mocking scars over his tattoos, over his beliefs.
She wanted to cry, but the joy was too much also. They were united in their joy
of escape, some in joy of people they'd thought dead, old friendships to
revive. She caught wariness; they knew they weren't free yet. Readiness, they'd
do what they needed to do. Trust, trust so pure and deep she'd never felt
anything like it. Trust so sharp and defined she'd carry it with her to the
grave.
She wanted to go to each of them, hold them and hug them, let them know that
she cared for them. She wanted to bed them and give them healing in place of
their pain, smiles in place of their anger and fears. Fives had told her to be
prepared and she had thought she was. But the emotions ... the curious
sweetness of her sister's new baby, Fives' fatherly prides, Echo's love, Rex's
faith, lifting them ... She was glad of Ahsoka's steady presence beside her;
soft contented joy bubbling in her as well. Saoha took a breath and steadied
herself against Ahsoka's control.
"Rex," she called softly to not disturb the emotional ambiance. Her voice was
too soft. She breathed out again, "Rex." He came to her side. "That man has
internal injuries."
Rex nodded. "Kix knows, but there's nothing we can do for him right now. What
else?"
"That man," she softly gestured. "He is hungry and cannot eat the provisions."
"Broken jaw, maybe?" asked Rex as he looked at the trooper, scraping at a
ration bar with a fingernail to suck the slivers carefully into his mouth. He
touched her shoulder, giving her his steadying strength. "I'll take care of it.
Galley set up the same as it used to be?" She nodded and Rex left, to return a
few minutes later with a cup of warm soup and straw for the man who accepted it
gratefully.
 
***** Saleucami *****
                                        
                                    Sketch
Sketch looked around the small ship with a soft smile and memorized what he
would draw. He'd had nothing in prison and had to make do with his fingers in
the dust, quickly erasing when any of the guards had come by. He hoped he'd get
drawing materials soon enough, now he was gathering inspiration. The general
air of the small ship was contentment.
The two women pilots had faces of quiet concentration. He recognized Commander
Tano from the 501st. Her eyes were sparkling with pleased accomplishment and
she would be one of the first pictures he drew. Captain Rex's face was filled
with quiet pride and joy as he spoke with Commander Cody. Cody's face was both
amazed and amused by their escape. They had all been prepared to die at the
dock, but Cody had not given the command. They'd all walked aboard the Arkayd,
trusting him. Sketch wondered what he had trusted in that decisive moment.
Boil, who they'd all thought one of the jailers, was asleep, leaning partially
against the bulkhead and partially against Waxer. His hand rested on the head
of the young Twi'lek girl pillowed on the armor of his thigh and two of his
fingers were clasped in her fist. Even in sleep, his face was tired and wan.
Sketch committed the scene to memory. It would be an excellent picture.
A brother who looked like a pirate came out of the cabin with a golden-peach-
colored baby in his arms, all grins and pride. A good picture, Sketch noted to
himself. He took the baby to the pilots, to Rex and Cody standing together. He
paused and then took the baby to Chopper, sitting at Tano's side. Chopper
smiled, something he'd never done when they'd been in Slick's squad. Something
he'd never done in prison. Sketch knew that would be as good a picture as any
he'd ever drawn.
There were so many sights, so many emotions, and so many pictures to draw.
Sketch tried to stretch his bad leg. He'd never walk straight on it again;
there'd always be the pain. There wasn't much room for him to stretch with so
many troopers on board. Still, he managed. Countdown had seen his anxious
moves, as he rubbed his leg.
"Just rest it on me, Sketch," he said sleepily and Sketch did.
All of troopers were leaning against the bulkhead or lying on the floor, curled
up as tightly as possible, dozing. No one objected when someone accidentally
got stepped on. Rex and Waxer had provided clothing and soft canvas shoes, food
and water, and blankets. The food and water were mostly gone now, the blankets
covered the sleeping or used as pillows.
They'd gone through four jumps of hyperspace; each with a long dead drift.
Sketch had had a view of the stars as they jumped hyperspace. He decided he
would put that background with the Zeltron co-pilot. Her face was alert, loving
when she looked at the pirate, filled with concern and wonderment when she
looked at the troopers. She had looked at Sketch, smiled, winked and, when he
blushed, lowered her eyes invitingly. He'd enjoyed that little flirting, it
made him feel good.
He rubbed his wounded leg. Even straight out, resting on Countdown's hip, it
was stiffening and would start hurting if he didn't move it soon. He was glad
they never found out he drew. They would have crushed his hands instead.
He felt the vibrations and the ship came out of hyperspace. They drifted dead
again. They were clones, used to waiting. Today, they'd wait until death if
requested; they'd been rescued from reconditioning. No one asked where they
were going. It was better not knowing.
This time, they moved around a planet after the dead drift and began landing
preparations. Rex and Cody and Echo moved around, waking the men with a hand on
the shoulder or a soft word. Kix, a bemused expression on his face, was back
with wounded Kayl, who hadn't moved. Sketch had memorized every nuanced
expression, his fingers twitched, ached to be holding a drawing pencil or a
brush.
It was early morning planetside when they landed near some farmland and quickly
disembarked. Captain Rex had given Commander Tano a long kiss before he went
down to the planet. She began prepping the skip for liftoff again. She'd be
running decoy, Sketch supposed, One or two more jumps with drifts. The kiss had
surprised him, then he realized they were no longer GAR; they hadn't been GAR
for years. He smiled, happy for them. There was hope in the galaxy.
Sketch's leg was too painfully stiff and weak. Even with Chopper’s help, he had
fallen when he tried to stand, one of the last to leave. The lilac-rose Zeltron
was there with Chopper and she helped him too, putting his arm around her
shoulders, letting him lean his weight against her. He was too pained and too
tired to have any physical reaction to her presence, but that didn't stop the
want inside him. He swallowed it down. He'd learned during the flight that she
was married to the pirate brother. She and Chopper helped him to a boulder.
Chopper went back to Captain Rex to see what he could to do help. She softly
began massaging his leg through the material of the cotton workout pants. The
heat of her hands soaked into the twisted muscles. It felt good. She seemed to
know just where to touch, where to avoid. Her empathy was more than emotional.
"What did they do to you?" she asked with anger in her voice.
He shrugged. "Cut some tendon. Twisted it around until the knee popped and
grated, twisted the other way until the ankle popped. Kix wasn't there yet and
it healed badly. Clone traitors didn't get medical." He said absently as he
breathed the cool morning air, his eyes closed at the pleasure of the moment.
He paused. "Your hands feel very good on it."
"Saoha," Sketch opened his eyes as she glanced up to see Rex. "Sula has asked
for you."
She turned her eyes on Sketch. "I must go tend to my sister and the baby."
Sketch gave her his hand to help her up; he still had strength in his arms. She
stood in front of him and cocked her head to one side. She gave him a smile
then bent and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. He was too shocked to respond
before she ran toward her sister.
Rex sat next to him on the boulder and waited for the bemused smile to
disappear from Sketch's face. It took a while. "That's Saoha. She's one of
Fives' wives."
"I heard." Sketch's face showed his disappointment. "She's very beautiful. I
probably shouldn't have enjoyed the kiss."
Rex saw the disappointment. "She does have delicious kisses." He smiled
crookedly at Sketch. "I think she'll come visit you some evening or another."
"Is that appropriate?" Sketch frowned. "I wouldn't want to make trouble."
Rex shrugged. "They're Zeltron and Fives fits right in with them. It’s probably
Saoha's idea, but if not I'm sure Fives would be encouraging her."
Sketch wasn't sure he liked that idea. "You mean that he's making her...”
Rex laughed. "No. It's difficult to make Saoha do something she'd rather not.
Almost impossible. Simply, right now she's overwhelmed with emotions. There are
twenty-three new brothers and they're all in emotional turmoil right now. Pain,
confusion, disbelief, wonderment. Saoha responds to those emotions. She can
feel them. She's made to heal them. Most Zeltrons tend to avoid pain,
depression and all that nasty stuff we troopers are prone to. Not Saoha."
Sketch still had a soft frown on his face. Rex put a hand to his shoulder. "No
matter what happens or doesn't happen, knowing Saoha is worth it. If you have
doubts, talk them over with her or me or Fives or Echo." Sketch nodded sharply,
trooper to captain, knowing he'd talk to Echo if he had questions.
Rex pointed toward a set of buildings. "That's the farm. The building on the
left is the barn, where some of the brothers will be staying. Probably you and
Kayl. Whoever Kix decides, it will be the med unit. Because of the number of
people, we'll be operating under camp rules for a while. Some of us are going
to be roughing it in the surrounding forest." He laughed. "Not that it’s rough
at all. Its spring, the weather is almost perfect. Virtually none of the insect
life has pincers or claws. None is poisonous. There aren't even mosquitoes,
just lightning bugs. We'll be taking time for everyone. You'll meet family."
The way he said 'family' implied so much more to Sketch than merely brothers
and he asked.
Rex nodded. "Brothers and wives and some children. Not a lot, but family." He
paused. "Family," he repeated softly with a smile, then continued. "Most of the
men are walking down to the farmhouse but there's you and Kayl that can't make
it. Cut's bringing up a speeder lift for you and him, Sula and the baby. Sula
said she could walk, but Kix, Echo and Fives insisted she ride." Rex chuckled.
"She could probably convince Echo and Fives to let her walk, but not Kix. It's
his first baby."
Sketch had laughed at that.
"Kix says he's already looked at your leg and there's nothing to be done for
it." Rex's voice was curiously gentle.
Sketch nodded. "Not without extensive surgery and a bacta tank." They both knew
the improbability of that. "My dancing days are done for." He shrugged and gave
Rex a smile. "Lucky for me, I never enjoyed dancing."
Rex was hesitant. "We'll be interviewing people later. Among other things we'll
be evaluating emotional and psychological fitness, asking what happened after
Order 66, the circumstances of their desertion. I know that I could have used a
good debrief after I deserted, just to get that out of my head."
Sketch nodded. "That'll be good. There are some guys..." Sketch shook his head
and exhaled. "Let’s just say I'd rather be me with my twisted leg than them
with their twisted emotions."
Rex patted Sketch's shoulder. "You always had your art as a debrief."
Sketch nodded slightly. "Though not much for the last three years."
They heard the speeder coming up the hill. Most of the men had already started
their walk down to the farmhouse. Sketch could seem some men already there,
milling about.
Sketch met Cut who gave him a smile and a brother's handshake; then, with Rex,
helped him onto the speeder lift. Sketch had bit his lip against the pain.
"I'll try to make it as smooth as possible, but it'll still be a bumpy ride, so
hang on tight." advised Cut as Rex and Kix lifted Kayl onto the lift. He
appeared in worse condition that he had earlier.
"He's not looking good," said Sketch, as he reached out a strong arm to help
gently set and steady Kayl on the lift.
"I know that, Sketch." Kix's voice was angry and dark. Then he let out a
breath. "Sorry." Sketch understood.
"We have a nurse down at the barn, Kix." said Cut. "She got some supplies you
don't have and she's set up a sterile area." Kix nodded with a grim expression,
then turned to help Rex with Sula. Saoha climbed into the back with Sketch and
Kayl. She smiled at Sketch, but concentrated on Kayl, lay next to him, touching
him, holding him, and letting her emotions sink into him. Sketch hoped that
somewhere, deep in his mind, Kayl could feel them. Somewhere, deep in his mind,
he wanted to live.
Sula, climbed into the drive seat with Cut, still arguing. "Really, Kix. I can
walk. Rex, tell him..."
Rex raised his hands in surrender. "When it comes to the health of the crew,
medic outranks everyone." Kix smiled absently at Rex's words, carefully handing
Sula the beautiful, little baby he had delivered.
It wasn't as bad a ride as it could have been. At the farmhouse, Echo and
Chopper helped Sketch off the lift and into the house, setting him on a bench
at the table. Sula handed the baby to Saoha who, noticing her sister's
uncharacteristic pallor, called for help. Several brothers were immediately at
her side. One carefully lifted Sula from the seat. At Saoha's direction, he
took her into the house where the pink Twi'lek woman sent him upstairs to put
her in a bed. Saoha followed with the baby. Before going into the house, she
turned to another man.
"Please send Fives here."
"I don't know which one is Fives, ma'am." he answered softly, not expecting her
to be able to describe him sufficiently different from all the other brothers.
Saoha smiled. "The pirate."
He got a big smile. "Yes, ma'am." Then he was off at a trooper's run.
"Will she be ok?" Sketch, sitting at the table, asked Saoha. He wished he could
help.
"Yes. She is just overtired. It isn't every day that one rescues troopers, has
a baby, makes a hyperspace jump like that, feels emotions so intense..." Tears
came to Saoha's eyes. Sketch nodded as he gently touched her arm. She looked at
him, at his hand, with a soft smile and leaned into his strength, just a
little. "Thank you."
"It has been an exciting day." He licked his lower lip and glanced down,
suddenly shy. "May I see..." But she was holding the baby for his view. She
looked so tiny and delicate and perfect.
"Hold her." said Saoha. "Here, move your arms so one is beneath her and the
other curls around her."
"I can't..." Sketch shook his head. "She's tiny. I'll break her."
Both Saoha and the Twi'lek laughed. Saoha, feeling his fear, sat next to him
and helped him hold the baby for a short time before she took the baby upstairs
even as Fives entered the house with a worried look on his face.
"She was tired, Fives." said the Twi'lek woman. "Childbirth is no easy task
even at the best of times."
"Thanks, Suu." Fives still took the stairs three at a time.
Suu asked Sketch to help peel and chop vegetables. "With so many people, it
will be soup and bread for dinner tonight. Better also, I think, for settling
everyone after excitement."
Sketch nodded. "Soup's good. Not too rich either." He didn’t say that anything
would be better than prison.
Cut had come in from taking Kayl and Kix to the barn and putting the speeder
lift up. "Internal bleeding," he told Suu and Sketch. "They're operating on
Kayl."
Sketch frowned. It wouldn't be right for anyone to die at this point. They'd
all made freedom. "I don't know if Kix can manage that."
"Saria's there too. She was a surgical nurse for almost ten years." said Suu as
she took away the bowl of vegetables Sketch had done and brought him another
bowl, this time unpeeled topatos.
Fives came down the stairs with a smile on his face and sat with Sketch and Cut
as Suu set three glass of some amber liquid in front of them. "Sula's asleep,"
he told them. "It’s been a rough day for her. Saoha is with her and the baby.
I've been told that Zeltron babies need to be held and talked to a lot. She's
beautiful, isn't she?"
Sketch nodded, thinking all three of them were beautiful.
"All babies need that, Fives." said Suu softly. She ran her fingers in his
hair. "First Jester, now you. Cut had better not show up with beads in his
hair." She looked menacingly at her husband who finished his drink, laughed,
kissed her heartily, then left.
Sketch's ears perked and he looked up at Suu. "Jester's here?" He smiled
softly. "We came out of Kamino together."
Fives stood and gave his shoulder an encouraging pat. "I'll send him in if I
see him." He left also. Sketch glanced down at the glass. Tentatively, he took
a sip. It was juice, sweet and cold. He finished it in two gulps.
Sketch continued peeling and chopping. Helping to prepare the food, however
menial, was good. It had purpose. After Fives left, Suu asked him if warmth was
good for his leg.
"Yes, ma'am. It hurts terribly at times and warm is good for it." He didn't
tell her they had made sure he didn't have 'warm' in prison. She handed him a
towel, almost too hot to touch and he laid it on his thigh and trembling knee
with a soft sigh.
"With so much cooking, the kitchen is hot and the towels are right next to the
stove. Let me know when that one gets cool and I'll give you another."
A boy came in with short, brown-stripped lekku, his brown eyes bright with
excitement, about twelve years old. "They're uncles, mom!" His voice was loud
and Suu hushed him.
"Sleeping woman upstairs, Jek. Voice down," she admonished softly and he
dropped his head a little guiltily. Then Suu smiled. "Get the vegetables from
Sketch and bring them in to me. That was the last for a while, Sketch. Thank
you."
"Hi, I'm Jek." His voice was quieter. "Are you going to be sleeping in the
forest?"
"I'm Sketch and, at the moment, I don't know where I'll be sleeping."
"I'll give you my bed. It's upstairs and has a great view of the fields."
Sketch smiled at the generosity. "I don't think I can make the stairs, but
thank you for offering."
Jek glanced under the table and Sketch grimaced. He didn't like to think of how
his leg looked to a civilian, a young boy. Twisted, crooked. The foot, all
wrong. At least he had clothes to hide the twisted muscles of his leg.
"Jek!" Suu's voice was sharp and reprimanding.
"No, it's not..." began Sketch.
"I'm sorry," said Jek quietly as he came back up from looking. He bit his lip.
Sketch turned his head, not wanting to see pity in the eyes of a boy. Jek took
the peeled vegetables. He came back from the kitchen with another warm towel
and Sketch traded it for the cooled one.
Jek moved across the room and came back with a box. He pulled out some books,
flimsi and other supplies. "School." he said to Sketch with a face showing his
opinion of that. "Dad said that I have to finish three pages to mom's
satisfaction before I can help again. I'm running errands, showing people the
eopies and nunas, taking them to where we've prepared camp areas and fire
pits." He noticed Sketch's interest in the pack of colored pencils. Softly, he
pushed them toward the man. He was an uncle, like Uncle Jester, like Uncles Rex
and Echo and Fives. Someone like dad.
Sketch's hands gently opened the box. The pencils were new, barely used, most
still had factory-fine points on them. He gestured tentatively toward a flimsi
sheet. "May I?" he asked softly and Jek handed him some blank sheets.
Sketch smiled softly. "Thank you." He drew his first picture in 3 years.
He was free. Truly and really free.
 
A/N -Jesse's story is a bit darker. Please do not read if depiction of rape
disturbs you.
                                     Jesse
Jesse thought he recognized the planet as he walked down to the buildings. When
he saw a pink Twi'lek woman in the doorway of a farmhouse, he knew. Saleucami,
where Grievous had escaped them. She glanced at him among the men walking
toward her, did a double take, stared a moment, at his scars he knew. She
grinned at him as she handed him a golden fruit.
"Welcome back." she said, as she touched his arm softly. He almost jerked back,
it was so painful after so long in prison. She caught his flinch and moved her
hand.
"Sorry," he mumbled, his head down. The fruit had a ripe, sweet smell and his
mouth watered. He'd had one, long ago, on this same planet, given to him by
this same woman. It had been one of the most delicious things he'd ever tasted.
"Thank you, ma'am."
"You called me 'Suu' last time." She paused. "I am sorry. I hope you are better
when you decide to leave." She turned to another man, giving him fresh fruit.
The bowl was almost empty, but Jesse saw another bowl sitting on the bench even
as she grabbed it, continuing to pass out the fruit.
Decide? Him? Decide when to leave? He'd leave when they told him to go.
He glanced up, saw Rex and Rex grinned at him, came over and slapped his
shoulder. The other men moved away, giving them privacy. They knew Jesse from
prison, they knew Rex as one of their rescuers. Suu saw Rex, smiled and took
the empty bowls back inside.
"Look familiar?" Jesse noticed that Rex smiled a lot more than he had during
the wars. He noticed a closeness between Rex and the commander that had only
been hinted at, until their argument in the mess hall and her subsequent
departure. He noticed a closeness with ARC-trained Echo.
Rex was relaxed, happy. Not at all like him.
Jesse didn't have much reason to smile, to be happy. He glanced down at the
ground. He was not headed for Kamino and reconditioning. He had a sweet fruit
in his hands. He had the chance now, to atone for what he'd done. Those were
reasons enough. He looked back at Rex with a small smile.
"Yes, sir. when you took that sniper hit mid-chest." He gestured at the door
where the woman had gone. "She was protective of her kids and wasn't keen on
helping, but she did. She must have a big heart to do this as well."
Rex nodded. "She had more than her children to protect. Remember what her
daughter said when she came for the ball - 'You look like my dad'? Her husband
is a clone."
Jesse frowned. "You knew and didn't report him." Rules were rules for a reason.
Rex shrugged. "I guess my treason was beginning early. It's worked out. Cut's a
good man, can have my back any time." He looked at the scars overlaid on
Jesse's tattoo. "What happened?"
Jesse's lips curled bitterly. "Torture."
Rex merely looked, waiting. Jesse sighed, sat on the bench by the porch,
rolling the fruit gently from hand to hand.
"I had body detail after Order 66. Upper levels." He sighed, his lips twisted
in pain. "Do you know what we found?"
Rex nodded. "Children." He said softly as he sat next to Jesse. "I ran because
I was up there when it happened."
Jesse's expression changed, he seemed to be holding back tears and he pulled at
his face with one hand. "I'm sorry. It must have been..."
"Yes." Rex said, nothing more, cutting off that line of discussion.
"I didn't run then. But the Empire was squeezing more and more out of
everything." Jesse reached up to his head and face, but didn't touch his face.
"It wasn't a republic and my face declared my ideology different. It was my
squad," Jesse's voice cracked in pain. "I made sergeant and they gave me a
squad. It was my own squad that held me down and made the first cuts half a
year later." Jesse felt bitter tears sting his eyes. Rex's hand came to his
shoulder, a rough, comforting grip.
"I ran that night, bloody-faced. It was soon after a battle where we were
ordered to fire on unarmed civilians. Soon after rape became a means of
information extraction. And I objected." He looked at Rex and touched his
fingers to his face. "But it's hard to run, to be unidentified, with a tattoo
like this, with scars like this, and they caught me. They enjoyed cutting me
while I was imprisoned. Every so often, just taking me out and putting a few
more cuts in the outlines of my tattoo. No questions, not trying to get
information. Just giving pain because they were bored." Jesse dropped his head.
"You might as well drop me off in wild space and forget about me. I'm a danger
to this whole group."
"No more than Cody," stated Rex as he gripped and lightly shook Jesse's
shoulder. "No more than me or Ahsoka or Chopper or any brother with tattoos.
We're all identifiable."
Jesse shook his head. "In a different way. You're identifiable as clones, but
there are a lot of places where you can be just a man. Where clones aren't
well-known. One look at me and people know that I believe in the Republic and
the Rights of Sentience."
"Right of Sentience didn't apply to us, Jesse."
"I know. But they existed! People had rights guaranteed to them. Citizenship,
freedom from slavery, fair trial. We were supposed to defend those rights. I
was proud to do that." He shook his head. "They weren't perfect. Rule of law
did not stretch evenly from one side of the galaxy to the other. But it was
there; a template, a guideline, a promise." Jesse turned to Rex with tears.
"Children are not subject to the death penalty under any circumstance. But
they're dead. Citizens have the right of assembly without fear of being
murdered. But they were murdered. Rape as...Rape!" He wiped his eyes with one
hand. "That was the worse, Rex."
He looked at Rex and saw him nod, then Jesse continued.
"She was barely a woman, maybe 20 or 22 standard years. Pretty. She had blue
eyes like the sky on Kamino, dark brown hair like strong caf. A fighting woman;
she broke Ansel's arm when they captured her, kicked Chon in the balls after he
took his turn. And she had a temper, you could tell. We asked her questions.
She didn't answer." Jesse was silent.
"You took your turn, didn't you Jesse?" Rex said softly.
Jesse nodded, just a slight shift of his head, his chin quivered. He spoke
woodenly and his eyes were bleak as he softly spoke. "Yeah. I took my turn.
She'd stopped fighting by then. She was crying. Not loud like she expected
help. Just real quit, tears running down her face." Jesse turned his head away
from Rex. "It wasn't what I expected. I didn't enjoy it."
Rex bowed his head, but had no idea what to say to that. Jesse hadn't raped her
out of anger or lust or to terrorize or get information. He'd raped her out of
curiosity, raped her because the others had, raped her because he wanted to
know what it was like to have a woman.
"She raised her hand up, real soft. I was ready if she tried to attack me but
she just touched my tattoo, traced a bit of it." Jesse looked at Rex. "That was
the best part, her soft touch on my face. That was almost right." Again, Jesse
dropped his head in shame. "She looked in my eyes and said, 'You have no right
to this,'. I jumped up like she'd bit me and ran out of the room, out of the
barracks. I couldn't get far enough away from that truth."
Jesse held the fruit to his noise, smelling it instead of the memory of blood.
"I came back five or six hours later, meaning to get her out of there somehow.
She was dead." His lips twisted bitterly, angrily. "I would have got her out of
there." His face was red, his eyes blinking back tears. I could have loved her,
could have let her go and had her memory for the rest of my life."I lodged an
official complaint, told my squad that wasn't going to happen again. A day
later, they hold me down and cut my tattoo. I was headed to med when I decided
to run."
They sat in silence. There was movement around them; a girl with a toddler, a
group of men moving towards the forest, someone going into the house. Jesse
didn't care to notice them as the tears ran down his face. After a while, he
wiped his eyes dry.
"Do you regret the tattoo?" asked Rex after another period of silence, curious.
"No!" Jesse's voice was forceful. "No." he repeated. He'd messed up, he'd raped
a woman, taken away her autonomy, taken away everything from her. He hadn't had
much chance in prison, but he swore that he'd never mess up like that again.
He looked down at the fruit in his hand and ran his thumb along the edge. The
peel separated and a sweet, red juice covered Jesse's thumb. He put it to his
mouth and softly sucked the juice from his skin. Finished with the juice from
his thumb, he put the fruit to his mouth and sucked from the opening in the
peel.
They sat in companionable silent as Jesse finished the fruit, flipping it
inside out to rip out the flesh with his teeth. Then he carefully licked every
bit of its juice from his fingers. He kept hold of the peel. He'd been told
they were under camp rules and that meant trash was contained. He hadn't been
assigned to a group yet, Rex would probably know.
He breathed a deep breath. There was a soft breeze coming from the west. He
leaned back against the railings of the porch. He didn't want to discuss this
anymore, didn't want to remember it, relive it.
"Ahsoka?" mused Jesse. "Getting familiar with the commander again, are you?"
There was no malice in his voice, only curiosity and a desire to turn the talk
away from what he'd done.
Rex laughed. "More familiar than you know, Jesse." Rex looked at the ground,
ashamed for a moment. "Thanks for going one-on-one for the commander, back on
the Resolute."
Jesse acknowledged it. "They were wrong to do that to her. It was tearing up
the company." He looked at Rex. "You know, there were some of us going to call
you out."
"I've been told." Rex was silent. "I'm glad it worked out the way it did." He
glanced up into Jesse's stern, scarred face with a grin. "I'm married to her."
Rex chortled for a few minutes at Jesse's shocked expression, shaking his head.
Then he continued. "Only second husband though, Echo outranks me." That brought
a snort of almost-laughter from Jesse. "But it’s a good life." He paused, a
soft look came over his face. "You'll meet my son."
Jesse understood why he smiled.
"Wish I had that. A woman, family. Someone ..." his hands moved, reached. A
dead woman reached back, reached up to caress his tattoo in love, not hatred.
Then his head dropped and he touched his face, speaking bitterly. "No woman's
going to look at this face."
"You'd be surprised, Jesse." Rex's voice was low and quiet. "Different people
look for different things. Some women don't concern themselves with a face when
they can have someone's heart."
                                     Kayl
Kayl struggled against the gravity which pulled him down. He had always liked
jetpack and anti-gravity practice. He enjoyed moving swiftly and silently
through air, through space. But now he was terrified of that blackness, that
emptiness. Above him he could see the stars, bright points of light, of joy. He
reached for them, though he knew they were too high, too far, millions of light
years, millions of parsecs away from him. Still he reached. He could hear
singing.
Angels. Beautiful women with wings and soft love on their faces. He looked up
and saw one. Her hair was the darkness of space and her eyes the brightness of
starlight. She was reaching for him and he reached up with hope and took her
hand in his. He prayed he wouldn't be too heavy for her to lift. He'd let go if
that happened.
She smiled, barely touched his fingers and he soared.
Hello, Kayl. Her voice was music and she looked up at him. He smiled back at
her, put his arm around her waist. He felt good, alive, his senses tingling
with newness. That could only mean one thing.
"Am I dead?" He remembered the beating, though he'd forgotten what he'd said.
Or maybe it was something he'd done. He remembered moving in agony, feeling the
blood leaking into his body, leaning against Kix as they moved into the dock.
They'd planned to fight the prison guards, though he'd be no use there. He
remembered nothing later, so he had to be dead.
No. We've worked very hard to prevent that.She smiled. And if you decide to die
now, I will, personally, be very angry with you. My sister and I have been here
for several hours trying to reach you.
He laughed. "I will try not to disappoint you, Angel."
"Sula. My name is Sula."
They were laying down now, him facing up and she by his side, though he didn't
remember how they'd done that. His eyes were closed, but he could feel her hand
on his face, the radiance of her against his skin. He wanted to roll onto his
side, to see her, to feel her body against his, to feel that warmth of the
living. He tried to roll, but something restrained him. Frowning he pulled
against it.
Don't. It came through him in a flurry of colors and emotions; concern, worry.
He stopped trying to release himself.
"Closer?" he tried to ask, but his voice was muffled. Still, he felt her warmth
against his skin as she moved closer, touching him with her body.
He was satisfied with that and smiled. Throughout his body, even inside
himself, he could feel her. She was content, but concerned.
"Talk to me," he asked. "Please tell me what happened." Again, there were no
words that he could make, that he could hear. He could feel her assent before
she began speaking. He heard through both his body and his ears.
You escaped.
He waited, but she only beamed with sweet satisfaction.
"And?" That was actually a word, more of a moan actually, that he heard from
come from his voice.
Isn't that enough?
Curiosity coursed through his body like blood through his veins, then collapsed
upon itself.
"Yeah," he murmured softly. "Think so." He was tired now, exhausted, hurting
everywhere. He could feel the air, hear the sounds of people moving and smell
antiseptic and blood. He had the odd suspicion it was his blood.
Yes, whispered her voice in his ear. You almost died.
"Won't." he moaned softly. A promise to her.
"Kayl?" That was Kix's voice. "Kayl, can you hear me."
"Kix." Kayl murmured.
"He hears you," It was another voice, the musical voice. The voice of the
angel.
He must have smiled on his face as well as in his heart. Kix laughed softly and
touched Kayl's face.
"Do you want to know about the surgery? The escape?"
Kayl wanted…
"He wants to know the cost," whispered the angel's voice. "In terms of death."
"No one, Kayl. Boil was one of us and rescued us with brothers' help. You'll
have to recuperate to hear the whole story. I'm sure you'll get twenty
different versions while you're recuperating."
Again, the angel spoke for him with gentle laughter in that musical voice. "He
will heal, Kix. He promises."
He felt Kix's touch on his face, then clasp his hand. Kayl could hear Kix move,
do something else. The warmth of his angel didn't move away from him.
"Can I sleep?" he asked. Barely a whisper from his lips, but a strong question
from his heart.
Yes, Kayl. I will be here when you wake.
                                      Kix
Kix moved out of the makeshift sterile area of the barn rolling the tight
muscles of his neck and shoulders. Saria had done a great job with Kayl and
he'd been impressed with her grim determination to save him, though he
suspected it had been the Zeltron women who'd made the difference. You couldn't
make a man survive; he had to want to live. Kix knew that from long experience
on the battlefield and in prison.
Kayl's last memories would have been of prison and he'd been fighting
depression since the death of his captain there. But Kix had seen a smile on
Kayl's face and heard his barely audible promise to live.
Surgery had taken longer than he had expected, but the other men with injuries
were waiting for him outside the barn. They'd been patient, understanding
Kayl's life-threatening urgency.
Kaver's broken arm had been tended to. A white, makeshift sling held the arm
snugly against his chest. Kix asked him who had done it.
"Brother, name of Jester, from here. He said it was just for support while you
worked on Kayl, sir."
Kix spoke while he checked out the arm with gentle fingers. "No need to 'sir'
anyone here. Get in the habit of saying something else. Both 'ok' and 'alright'
are good. 'Yeah' can sometimes be considered a bit rude but is mostly casual."
The sling looked good and had been cross-tied around the torso for
stabilization, but easy enough to remove for Kix's inspection. This guy had
some first aid practice and Kix decided he would make sure to meet Jester and
express his thanks.
Kix undid the sling, carefully supporting Kaver's arm. The bone in the arm had
not punctured the skin and the swelling had gone down from when Kix had last
seen it. Kix sighed happily; it was something he didn't have to do. He redid
the sling, wrapping instead of cross-tying. "Pain medication for you and I'll
want to see your arm every day. You'll have to do some sort of therapy so
permanent stiffness doesn't set in. That can wait for the moment. Make sure you
step careful, your balance will be a little off while the arm is restrained.
All of you, there'll be a meeting later this evening where they'll be going
over things. I've been told that you wounded," he looked at them all, "will be
in my squad staying here at the barn. I'll show you your racks later. Right
now, I really don't want Kayl disturbed."
Kaver smiled. "We saw those women go in. The pink one flirted with us a little
before she left. If Kamino'd had medical help like that, I would have fought to
go back." He laughed softly. Kamino had been a death sentence. "Maybe." Kaver
shrugged his uninjured shoulder.
Kix understood it as relief from the tension they'd all been under. He nodded.
He moved to Dare, the trooper with a broken jaw, gently touching the side of
his face. It was still swollen, a little too warm, and Kix didn't like that. A
broken jaw could be difficult; possible complications included a long time
healing, numbness, nerve damage to the teeth, loss of feeling, TMJ and assorted
other problems. The trooper winced at the touch.
"Have you eaten?" asked Kix. The trooper nodded, showing Kix a bowl and
pantomimed sipping with the straw he produced. "It's not healing well and I
would prefer to re-set the jaw for better alignment. We're going to sedate you
good for that. Afterwards, your jaw will be tied up. Saria and I think you'll
do fine with a simple bandage instead of wires, but that may change depending
on what we see during surgery. How we do." He gave a small half-grin. "Liquid
diet, of course. Your food will be lot of liquids. Maybe – just maybe, you'll
manage soft food in small bites after a week. I'll talk to them about keeping
your calories up; don't want you to turn to skin and bone. You'll sleep on your
back." The trooper nodded and Kix continued. "Are you actively in pain?"
The trooper thought a moment then shook his head, slowly, once. A modicum of
pain, then, Kix decided, easily controlled by one of the milder pain meds.
"I'll give you something anyway. Dissolvable. Mostly for a good night's sleep.
Probably some antibiotics also, against infection. It feels a little warm back
here next to your molars. Nothing, though, until we re-set it." Dare nodded.
Riposte was next, his body black and blue. Kix merely shook his head. "As long
as there are no internal injuries, it's just pain meds and monitoring for you."
"I figured that, si…" he stopped himself and started again. "I figured that,
Kix. I already took one."
"Where'd you get it?" Kix's brows pulled down.
"The woman serving soup, she offered when she saw me moving stiffly."
Kix nodded. "Was it worth it, Riposte?" he asked. Riposte had attacked one of
the guards and broke his ribs and wrist before he'd been pulled off. He'd been
planning on killing him.
"Yesterday? No." They'd been prisoners yesterday. "Today? Now? " A slow grin
pulled at the swollen lips and his eyes crinkled in a smile. "Kriff, yeah."
Kix laugh.
"Kix, go eat dinner." Riposte lightly pushed at his shoulder. "It’s soup and
bread which doesn't sound too spectacular but it is the best meal you'll have
ever tasted." Riposte smiled and held up a jade-colored bowl and metal spoon.
"Make sure you keep your bowl and spoon. It's yours from now on, but if you
lose it, you have to find it before you get to eat and you'll go to the end of
the line."
Now that Riposte had mentioned it, Kix did feel amazingly hungry.
"Alright. You men have some free time. Relax a bit if that's all you can
manage. Make sure to walk enough to not get stiff, Riposte. Kaver, no jogging
that arm. It's pretty stable, but don't push it. You all be expected to help
the farmstead, so wander around if you want. Ask questions. Dare, don't wander
out of eyesight. I'll be back shortly and we'll see if Saria's finished post-op
with Kayl."
Kix moved off toward the house, hoping the hungry men had left him something.
There were two men on the porch, both locals from their clothing. As he got
closer, he recognized Echo and then, after another glance, Cut. He'd met Cut on
landing, but had been too pre-occupied with Kayl to really notice the man. Cut
had a relaxed expression that naturally fell into a smile. He must have had a
good life since his desertion. Well, it was his farm. He was wiry, not as
muscular as the rest of the men, a little thinner. His eyes were observant,
watching Kix as he made his way over, watching the group on the yard.
There were troopers in the yard; most sitting, eating, laughing, playing with a
Twi'lek toddler, along with a Twi'lek youngling of about thirteen or so. Kix
took another look at the child with a frown, and then a bright smile lit his
face. Half-Twi'lek and probably half-clone if those brown eyes and dark hair
told the story.
Echo smiled at his expression. "That's my boy, Keeli," said Cut with soft
pride. The child was trying to climb onto Riven's back, giggling; tumbling onto
the grass as Riven turned, playfully trying to grab him. "My daughter,
Shaeeah." Cut gestured to the youngling who had one watchful eye on the child.
"She's turning into a woman, now." There was a wistful expression on Cut's
face. "My other boy, Jek, is inside. Presumably doing schoolwork."
Echo frowned to himself, intent upon the data pad he was making notes on.
"How's Kayl?" he asked Kix.
"Doing ok," said Kix and Cut at the same time. Kix looked at Cut through narrow
eyes. Cut just laughed.
"The way you walked out of the barn." He explained. "The way you tended the
others. The way you're walking here to have dinner. The fact that Saria is
still in there with Sula."
"I didn't approve of that," said Kix. "She's too recent from childbirth."
"I'll ask Fives or Saoha to make sure she gets rested. But you saw that Saoha
couldn't manage to … well, whatever it was they did." Echo had lines of
concentration on his head.
"Save his life," said Kix softly.
Echo made a note in his data pad. "Get some food, Kix. It's in the back, or you
can go through the house and see Sketch." Echo frowned again. "Skip Sketch for
a while. He and Jester are getting re-acquainted. Get some soup and come back.
We can talk about how things are going."
"Your safest option," winked Cut in a loud stage whisper, "is to take your
dinner back to the barn via behind the shed."
Echo didn't look up as he smacked Cut in the arm, but he did smile. "I won't
bother you too much, Kix. Cody says you've been doing a lot with pretty much
nothing and you've been doing great."
Cut laughed. "Rex said it was because you'd been 501st where 'great' was the
norm."
Kix grinned, pleased at the accolades from both men, and moved around the house
to the back.
There wasn't much of a line anymore and Kix noticed only scraps of crumbs in
the breadbaskets. He sighed. The pink Twi'lek woman looked at him as she handed
him a bowl of soup and explained about it being his bowl. The soup was thick
with vegetables, some noodles, some meat; nothing too rich which most of the
men wouldn't be able to tolerate after so long in prison. Simply good, solid
food. He closed his eyes as the scent tantalized his nose.
"You were here before, weren't you?"
"Yes, ma'am. With Rex."
She smiled. "Wait here for a moment." She moved into the kitchen, delicious
smells in her wake, and returned with some bread, still warm from the oven. It
was topped with a small knob of jam that had started to melt from the heat. His
mouth watered.
"Rex said you were on the medical team and to make sure you had bread as well
as soup. For some reason, the bread goes quickly." She paused, hesitant. "How
is the wounded man? Saoha went upstairs to cry because she couldn't reach him,
because he seemed a void to her."
"He'll be fine, ma'am."
"Suu," she corrected.
"He'll be fine, Suu. He even smiled." Kix did that himself. "Thank you, Suu.
Both for dinner and for providing a place for us until we leave."
"You are family." Her voice was gentle. "I don't know how it could be managed,
but you are welcome to stay. Everyone is welcome to stay. Both Cut and I agree
on this."
In the face of this gift, Kix could say nothing. He merely nodded and turned
before his emotions overcame him.
He didn't go to the porch. He couldn't yet face anyone. It had been too much to
take in. Half a day ago, they'd been on a docking bay, naked, hungry, preparing
to die as they rebelled against the guards. Anyone who didn't die then would be
going to Kamino, which was considered even worse.
Today, they were free and fed, rescued by brothers – his captain, his commander
from the war. Now they were moving onward to an unknown future; a future they
actually had some margin of control over. A future of some kind of promise.
Kix drew up his knees and bent his head. He hadn't had time before now; his
first baby, Kayl's long surgery, checking on the other men. Before that, three
years as medic for the prisoners with no supplies; three years of watching men
slowly die being able to do nothing.
Now he had the time. Now, he had a moment to himself.
Kix shed great tears of relief and sadness and pain; for both the living and
the dead.
                                     Boil
Boil lay on his side in the forest with a gentle smile on his lips. The bedroll
under him was comfortable. Waxer was watching Numa create a friction fire in
the firepit. She wasn't doing anything exactly wrong, but she didn't have the
fast tempo yet which was needed to start the fire. Waxer was letting her find
the tempo on her own which could be a frustrating exercise, but Numa seemed
intent and she was very close.
"You're getting closer, Numa. Be prepared," said Waxer.
"I think this requires four hands," she mumbled back.
"Four is better than two, that's why partners make the best scouts and the best
scouts usually have a partner. Ahh, there…"
Numa bent and softly breathed on the tiny tendril of smoke. A few little puffs
and the tendril seemed to build and then suddenly vanished.
Boil laughed softly. "It is too wet, Numa. Feel the wood. Something that wet
does require four hands or a lot of practice."
"She almost had it, Boil," said Waxer proudly.
"Like a said, a lot of practice." Boil smiled and Numa caught the pride in his
voice also. She hadn't seen nerra Boil in a long time and wasn't yet as used to
the nuances of his voice and face as she had once been. Nerra Waxer had wanted
her to stay with the other wife of Echo and Rex, but she had told him she would
not let him greet his brother alone. She would not let Nerra Boil think she did
not love him as greatly. When Boil came onto the ship, his eyes had searched
for her; she’d seen that. Nerra Waxer hadn't wanted her to see the naked men
and had told her to close her eyes. What did she care for naked men? Her eyes
had been open and she'd seen the light in Nerra Boil's eyes. She had cried and
had hugged him tightly. He had hugged her so tightly it hurt, until he
remembered he was in armor and loosened his arms. His eyes had tears in them as
well.
"Waxer, did you bring the things I sent you?"
"Of course. Do you remember what belongs to whom?" Waxer had added his two
hands to Numa's and, together, they quickly had a flame, then a small fire, in
the firepit.
Boil loved that word: together. "Not something I could ever forget, Waxer." he
said softly. Numa caught the pain and regret in his voice.
"What is in the pack, Nerra Boil." She moved to sit beside him, cross-legged.
He smiled at her name for him and Waxer. Nerra Boil. Nerra Waxer.They made an
odd family: two brothers, two fathers, one sister, one daughter but only three
in number.
"They are things… small things by necessity … that were confiscated from the
prisoners. Things that have no intrinsic value; they have meaning only to the
man who held them. But, because they held them as they slogged across the
battlefields of the galaxy, these things are important." Waxer handed him the
flap-top pack and Boil sat up, cross-legged. "Small things that I could take
without getting into trouble and save for a day like today." He had removed his
armor earlier, but it was within reach. He grabbed the chest plate. "Treasures
like this." He turned the armor so she could see. Inside was laminated a
picture, a five-year-old's best efforts. "Treasures like this. You were always
near my heart. Every night and every morning, I saw this and remembered you."
"Did you know that you would rescue them all?" asked Numa. Her fingers touched
the drawing she'd done so long ago. Close to his heart, like she was.
Boil's eyes were sad and his voice soft. "I didn't rescue them all, daughter."
His fingers caressed the pack. "I have more names of the dead than of the
living." Waxer gave him a rough, encouraging touch on his shoulder.
Numa, next to him, hugged him, tightly. "How many," she asked, "are alive
instead of dead because of you? That is important."
He nodded, holding her tight. Other than Ahsoka when she'd understood his pain,
he hadn't hugged anyone in ages. He hadn't touched anyone outside of duty while
he'd been guarding. Those touches had not been kind, had not been full of love.
Boil still felt starved for human touch and Numa seemed to sense that. Even
now, as they sat cross-legged on his bedroll, her knee touched his leg.
He pulled the flap up through the restraining strap of the soft, messenger
pack. The first item was Sketch's book. It was both the largest and the first
thing he'd taken. It reminded him that he, also, had a small treasure attached
to the inside of his own chestplate. That reminded him that many troopers had a
treasure. That was when he had started looking for them.
Sketch's book was the size of his hand and had a pencil loop, though the pencil
was long gone. Boil had seen that little black book among the new prisoners'
belongings as he carried them to property. He'd pulled it, quickly riffling
through it, recognized it and took it. That had been the first warning he'd had
that Sketch had tried to run, his first warning that Sketch was going to be
showing up in prison. If they'd seen that and connected it with Sketch… Boil
didn't like to think of what had happened to Sketch, but he hated to think of
what would have happened if they'd found the artist's book.
Boil had to remove the dedication page for security. It wouldn't do for him to
be caught with an item with a prisoner's name on it. Also, Punch might still be
out there. The book was Sketch's version of an after-battle debrief: pages of
battlefield scenes, of dead and dying men, of droid wreckage, of city damage.
Amazingly accurate. Terrifyingly beautiful. Interspersed among the pages of the
battle scenes, were quick portraits; sometimes of other troopers, sometimes of
civilian faces, a few animals.
Next was a holopic. It was a pretty girl with a round belly and a message of
love in a soft voice. What she was planning on naming the baby. That was Col's.
It had been affixed to the inside of Col's helmet.
Commander Cody's was next. A string of beads. Small. simple. It reminded Boil
of the padawan braids of the Jedi. Boil had been there when the jailers had
taken that from Commander Cody. His face got strange before it turned to icy
scorn and hate. Boil had taken a demerit for that, claiming to have lost it
somewhere in the storeroom when they came searching for it to torment Cody in
some way.
Djinn had fought his captors to a standstill before they'd brought in sleeper
gas. His only item was a small book of poetry with notes written in the
margins. Boil set it with the other items.
A small, round pebble belonged to Leven. Boil hadn't been able to figure that
out at all. Only that it was important, it had been glued to the inside of his
chest plate, over his heart.
Another holopic, this one of an entire family, which confused Boil for the
longest time. Then he realized that Riposte had made himself a family in much
the same was as he and Waxer had. Except Riposte thought big. There were four
human younglings, one Togruta youngling, an ancient woman .. or man … too old
and wrinkled to know for sure, a young Twi'lek man, two woman alike enough to
be sisters, one with a baby, and one older woman. Ten people crowded into the
holo; waving and smiling, calling Riposte's name and one unconcerned baby.
There was even some family pet, about knee high on the women, making noises and
twirling in a circle.
                       ---------------------------------
"Commander." Boil came up to him. He'd been searching for a moment the
commander was alone. He saw Cody on one of the little hillocks, his soup bowl
in his hand.
"Just Cody now, Boil." Cody smiled as he set his spoon in his soup. It was
surprisingly good and filling.
"I kept this for you." He held out his hand. Cody couldn't see what was in it
until Boil unwrapped his fingers and displayed the small string of beads.
Cody's eyes got moist.
Boil didn't want to see that. If touch had been rare in prison, intense
emotions had been painfully commonplace. He grabbed Cody's hand and dropped the
string of beads into it then turned to leave.
"Thank you, Boil." Cody said softly.
That was too painful.Boil decided to return to camp and ask Numa to return the
other items. By the time he got there, he realized that it was his
responsibility to return everything personally. He took the pack down with him
to the meeting. Numa was already there, helping Suu and Shaeeah clean up the
cookware and prepare for the morning meal. He didn't know where Waxer was and
that bothered him. You always kept track of your squad. He sighed and wondered
if he'd survive the transformation from trooper to civilian.
The meeting hadn't started yet and Boil quietly entered the ring of
conversation on the porch. Cody noticed him and shifted to make room for the
scout. Boil smiled at Cody's unspoken apology. Cody had been doing that since
they'd arrived on Saleucami. He didn't think he'd ever get a spoken apology;
their relative ranks had been too different, he'd had to do some distasteful
things in prison. Cody had never actually liked him; respected him for his
skills, but not liked him. That was ok, Boil understood and being included was
enough. He noticed the string of beads double-wrapped around Cody's wrist.
Waxer was at the edge of the yard talking with another trooper. It was good to
be with his brother and daughter again. She had grown so much since he'd last
seen her. Deep in reverie, Boil almost missed Echo's words.
"Scythe deserted. Any information, Cody."
Cody made a face. "They took him away the second year for attacking one of the
troopers. It was after his fourth escape attempt. None of us saw him after
that. Presumed dead." Fives, baby in arms, shook his head sadly and Echo put
stylus to data pad with a sigh.
Boil laughed softly. "I took him the second year." There was silence in the
small ring of men. "His escape attempts kept spoiling my plans. He kept
plugging up holes I could use, without actually escaping. So I took him, geared
him up and," Boil stared at the ground with a frown, the tip of his tongue
barely protruding through his lips as he remembered, then his face cleared.
"Yes. I gave him orders to Coruscant with a connection through Corellia. I told
him to desert at Corellia." Boil smiled as he remembered the salute Scythe had
given him before boarding the transport. Although few, there had been some good
moments and watching men go to freedom had been the best.
"How did you forge orders, Boil?" asked Rex.
Boil shrugged. "They weren't forged. Scythe became a trooper name Card who was
laid up with a broken leg who didn't know he'd received orders."
Echo shook his head with a smile, his fingers on his chin. Then he notated the
data pad.
"How did you gear him up?" Rex, again with technicalities.
"Through supply. Trooper prison was also a rotating supply center to Outer Rim
battalions. I'd just pull something outbound from the supply transport. One
piece of gear out of a battalion's package? By the time it got there, there'd
be another order or it would put into supply and no one could tell where that
one piece had gone missing." Boil shrugged. Sometimes there were extras in the
count and nothing counted as missing."
"Helmets?"
"They don't calibrate on Kamino anymore. Calibrations are done and helmets
keyed on the battalion-side. So they came with the armor."
"How many, Boil?" asked Cody quietly. "How many men did you help escape?"
"Not including Waxer? Not including this group? Forty-seven." There was both
pride and sorrow in his voice.
Echo gasped.
Cody's hands shook and he had to sit down. "I'm sorry, Boil." he said. "I am so
sorry for how I..."
Boil shrugged. "Can't share secrets like that." He looked Cody in the eyes.
"Especially to men subject to torture and questioning at any time. I'm glad you
know, but it wasn't an option then."
"How much support did you have, Boil?" asked Rex. He and his men had succeeded
because they had acted quickly, before things were 'back to normal'; before new
rules were instituted. He knew if they'd waited even just another day, they
wouldn't have made it. For Boil to do this about once a month spoke volumes
about his meticulous planning. To have done it for three years was more than
Rex could fathom.
"None." Boil grimaced. "If I had ..." He shook his head. He wasn't a man to
fantasize about how things could have gone.
"I'll want names, Boil. Dates, whatever you have. Do you know where they may
have gone?" Echo's voice was eager.
"A few, mostly from the 212th, who I'd known before. The rest, I just geared up
and took them to the spaceport. Told them what I thought their best options
were and let them go." He looked at the ground. "I know some didn't make it.
But I don't count them among the forty-seven." Boil looked at Cody. "I couldn't
take captain or above. There were special procedures just to take you out of
the pen. Otherwise, I would have taken you the second year."
Cody nodded. He remembered all the double-checks, the signing, the data pad and
tracker verification that had to be done anytime he was moved, even from cell
to the common pen or back. "I understand, Boil. Thank you for getting so many
out."
Boil stood straight, proud, as if he'd just received a medal. "Yes, sir."
Rex looked around as troopers milled around the front yard of the house. He
placed a hand on Echo's arm. "Later." He turned to Boil. "Boil, please come and
talk to us later about this." He thought a moment . "May I make that
announcement? That besides the men here, you've assisted in forty-seven other
escapes." He saw Boil frown.
"I don't know, sir. It doesn't seem..."
"Boil, there are several reasons for the announcement. I'll give you the two
most important. First, they will want to know if their friends escaped. We'll
post a list after you let Echo know what you know."
"I have a dead list, also." Boil frowned, his face looking downward. "It's a
lot longer."
"Yes, we'll want that as well, again for the men to know. The second reason is
to protect you." He saw Boil's shocked expression. "Yes. You've pretty much
single-handedly planned and rescued this bunch but they'll also remember
everything that happened in prison. I don't want them taking it out on you. Or
Waxer.” Rex paused, “Or Numa.”
Boil opened his mouth, shut it without saying anything and tilted his head.
"Sounds good to me, sir."
Sketch had been delighted to have his sketchbook back. Boil had started to
explain and apologize about the dedication. Sketch had told him that wasn't as
important as tearing it out had been. "It would have meant your incarceration
and how long do you think you would have lasted among us, Boil?" Boil had
turned pale thinking of that.
Col had simply put his hand to his mouth as tears started falling. Boil had
left the man to his own emotions.
Djinn was ecstatic to have the little book of poetry back. He insisted on
reading his favorite to Boil. That hadn't been too bad, then Djinn felt he had
to explain it.
Leven was pleased with the return of the tiny pebble, but wouldn't answer
Boil's question. "Just consider it my good luck charm, Boil."
Riposte had insisted on telling Boil who the people where, how they were
related, their hobbies, habits. Boil had listened for what he considered a
reasonable amount of time and then extricated himself from Riposte's company.
By the time Boil returned to camp, there were two beautiful silver moons in the
sky. Softly he touched Waxer's shoulder to wake him, then pointed outward at
the beauty. Waxer smiled, rose and they went running together.
                                    Jester
Jester watched Saria help Cut and the medic get the man into the barn. She
looked up and saw him, frowned sadly, then turned back to her business of
saving lives.
Jester sighed as he sat on the porch of Cut's home. Two days ago, Cut had come
over to his little house and told him that his brothers were coming back to
Saleucami with a small cargo ship of brothers who'd run. They'd need help.
There was no telling how many would need medical assistance and that mean
Saria.
They weren't married yet. Her actions seemed to prove that she didn't want to
marry him anymore. She'd moved out of his house seventeen days prior.
She was a citizen, a scholarly-trained nurse, and beautiful. He was a clone, a
flash-programed soldier. He touched the big scar on his face. It was about
three fingers wide and ran from above his eye to his jaw. The angry red had
faded to dull reddish over the years.
He'd gone to her office. She'd been out, so he waited and when she came back
there'd been the strangest look on her face. He didn't want her to feel
obligated so he quickly explained. She could have his house or stay at Cut and
Suu's, but there would be about twenty refugees coming in and there would
probably be some needing medical treatments. He didn't tell her they were
clones.
He had met her when she'd come to check on Suu about two days after Keeli's
birth. Saria hadn't been on Saleucami for long, but she'd been a nurse for
almost ten years. She thought him Suu's husband at first, carrying the baby
around, carrying Suu, helping her. She called him Mr. Lawquane and he hadn't
bothered to correct her perceptions. After checking on the baby, she had made
him sit while she checked the burn on his face. It had been beyond her ability
and Jester knew that, but her touch was sure and light.
She came back in two days to check on Suu, then again three days later. It
wasn't for almost two weeks, when Cut had been there as well as Jester, that
she understood he was simply Cut's brother and working as his hired hand. He
was still Mr. Lawquane to her. As easily as that, his name became Jester
Lawquane. Jester liked the name.
Jester started building himself a small home a little deeper in the forest, not
far from the Lawquane's farmhouse. Cut and family came to help occasionally,
usually bringing a picnic. He enjoyed their company and, if very little got
done when they were visiting, he was usually twice as productive for the next
few days. Jester visited them every day; checking on Suu and what help Cut
needed. He'd been surprised when Cut had handed him a large stack of credits.
"This is your share of the harvest. There's nothing I can pay for your help
with Suu and the baby. But if you ever need anything I can provide. It's
yours." Jester hadn't known what to do with such a large amount of credits and
gave most of them back to Cut to 'hold for him or use it for the farm'.
He saw Saria often as came by to check on Suu, then later when she visited as
Suu's friend. Jester saw her frequently when he visited Cut and Suu. He didn't
speak much, letting Cut and the women converse while he simply listened. He had
liked her voice and her opinions. He knew she had men interested in her; this
was Saleucami where men outnumbered women about a hundred to one it seemed
like. Jester didn't even dream, simply enjoyed her visits with Sue, the
pleasure of a woman's company. He went from being Mr. Lawquane to being Jester.
Sometimes Jester escorted her home then he'd lope back to his house at a
soldier's pace. He changed the plans of his house, trying to think of what a
woman might like; what one particular woman might like.
Saria had expressed concerned about visiting a patient in a bad area and Cut
suggested she take Jester as bodyguard. Certainly, give him a place and time.
He was there in his Mando painted armor; all business, dangerous and deadly.
She had seen the blaster carbine in his hands and stared at it. Then at him.
He'd been wearing his helmet so she couldn't stare at his face. But he knew she
realized exactly what had made the big scar on his face. No one had bothered
Saria with Jester at her side. He'd felt strong, good. Protective.
They'd been walking back to her home in the evening twilight, she simply
talking, and Jester listening, carrying his motley-painted helmet in his hand,
the blaster slung over his back. They'd reached her place and he had given her
a soft kiss. He'd had to bend slightly. He'd placed his armored hand lightly on
her shoulder and given her a kiss on her soft lips.
She had looked at him for several seconds and Jester worried that he'd been too
forward. Then she smiled, sighed and leaned against him. He reciprocated by
putting his arms around her, bending his head to kiss her again. He hadn't gone
home that night. She had invited him into her house, into her bedroom, into
her. He'd had experience; you couldn't live with Fives and not have experience,
but it had been different with her. The next morning he'd asked her to marry
him. That had shocked her, but she'd smiled and said 'yes'.
That had been almost a year ago and Jester thought they'd never been further
apart.
Now there were to be more brothers, competition for his lovely Saria. Well, she
was free. If she liked his looks, there were plenty to choose from, most with
no scars on their face. If she liked his strength, again, there were plenty of
other troopers. The only thing he had, they didn't, was the house. And she
didn't stay there anymore.
Jester sighed as he watched the men in the yard. Rex and Echo had tentatively
given him a squad of six men: Leven, Djinn, Dub, Backup, Checkout, and Crux,
right off the ship. He'd taken them and some others down to the farmhouse.
Echo had asked him to sergeant them while they went through debriefing,
evaluation and out processing. While Jester thought it was a good idea to segue
from the military forms to a more relaxed civilian forms, he wasn't sure he was
the right person for it. He'd never been a sergeant, wasn't that good at giving
orders, or even talking. He could tell them about his experiences after Order
66. He could tell them about being a person instead of a clone, dealing with
people outside an official organization. That was about it. Echo had said he
was a good listener as well. He could listen to their stories. Let Echo know
which ones sounded like they'd need help adjusting mentally. Jester laughed and
told Echo he should sign himself up for that first.
The more he thought about it, the better the idea sounded. He'd never been
debriefed; none of them had after their departure from Coruscant. He'd gone to
Echo and told him he wanted to be debriefed. Echo had stared off into nothing,
nodding softly. "You're right, Jester. None of us has been debriefed and we
need it. I'll make sure we all get debriefed."
When the troopers had gotten off the small ship, Jester saw Commander Cody and
smiled. Commander Cody had debriefed him after the incident with Slick and he'd
never had a better, more thorough debriefing.
He'd seen Saria at the farm that day, but hadn't spoken to her. She'd been busy
preparing for possible surgery and he didn't want to disturb that. He'd helped
her before, but she didn't look like she wanted any help.
Jester hadn't seen her in about fifteen days. He missed her. He missed
listening to her. He missed her voice and her opinions. He missed the scent of
her skin and the softness of her hair. He missed this look of amusement, that
look of determination. He missed her kisses, her hugs, her love.
One of the men was badly injured and she was helping the medic carefully move
him from the speeder to the barn. She glanced up to see him staring at her and
turned her back after her own unhappy frown.
He'd sighed and taken the men Echo had assigned him to their camp. He told the
other men they'd also be going to their camps as soon as things settled, once
group to Cut, one to Echo but both men were busy at the moment. Jek invited
them to come see the eopies and several went with him, while Shaeeah brought
out Keeli and asked two to go help Suu and the rest to help with the toddler.
His men had picked up bedrolls at the porch, probably the first belongings
they'd ever owned outright. There were plenty of different colors and patterns
to choose from; Suu and Cut had gone shopping at every second-hand shop they
could find for that many blankets. The men were surprised not to have to sign
for the bedrolls. "Gifts." Jester had told them. "Chose a color or pattern you
like. The price is a thank you, appreciation, a willingness to help. A
willingness to give gifts in the future, when you can."
At their fire pit, Jester went over camp rules lightly. They’d been learned on
Kamino and no one ever forgot anything learned on Kamino. More importantly, he
touched on the rules of Saleucami, rules of family, of Cut's farmstead,
children, farm animals, wildlife. They'd been a lot of questions from the men.
Jester had no problems answering any of them. He thought, maybe he could do
this after all.
Then he'd taken them down to the farmstead where Suu had prepared soup and
fresh-baked bread. Goldenfruit was in season, so there were plenty of those as
well. Again, the men were told to pick their own bowl and spoons, though they
simply took the nearest one. That had been Rex's suggestion, get the men use to
making decisions with small ones first. From the back porch, Suu let each man
know he was responsible for keeping it, cleaning it. She said that plates,
forks and knives would be coming the next day.
After the soup and bread, more delicious than prison food and GAR food by the
unanimous decision of all six, Jester was sure none of his men would forget
their bowl.
He released them for free time, letting them know that life outside the GAR was
less regimented and they'd have to learn to occupy their own time. He suggested
asking Jek or Shaeeah about the nuna and eopies since they'd be expected to
help around the farm, or perhaps ask Suu if she had anything they could do.
Otherwise, they were on their own, no loitering around the barn, now the med
unit, or the house unless specifically invited by one of the principles.
There'd be a meeting after dinner, civilian-time, he smiled and some of his
squad smiled as well. That had always meant up to an hour late to the punctual
troopers.
Fives came up to him and broke his reverie. "Jester, Sketch is in the house and
I told him..."
"Sketch?" Jester's eyes went wide. So did his smile. "In the house? He can bunk
at my place with me."
Fives frowned. "He can't do that, Jester. He's going to be part of Kix's squad.
"What wrong?" Jester's decided the universe was being particularly unfair
today.
"His leg is all twisted and he can't walk on it. It looks like an old injury
and pretty permanent. He can't take two steps without falling. He'd never make
it to your place."
Jester frowned. He looked at Fives, his face suddenly pale. "Fives, how're his
hands?" That had always been Sketch's concern, his hands, his drawings.
"Looked fine to me. Why?"
Jester smiled with relief. "Sketch draws. Beautifully."
"Go see him," smiled Fives.
Jester went to the house. There were a couple of men, including one of his new
squad, Djinn, playing with Keeli and overseen by a laughing Shaeeah. Shaeeah
was thirteen now, just old enough to flirt with the men who didn't always know
how to flirt back, but tried. Jester made a mental note to bring that up with
Suu. It would do no good to have either Shaeeah or any of the troopers
unintentionally hurt by something neither had full understanding of. On the
other hand, it was needed practice in dealing with females, something they
hadn't been able to do much while they'd been in the GAR and not at all in the
years they'd been in prison.
Jester had to stop and grin as he watched the big men rolling on the grass
while a giggling Keeli tried to climb over them. Some of the men were sitting
on the hillock, laughing at the child as they ate soup and bread. Then Jester
was up the stairs onto the porch and in the small house.
The scent of soup was everywhere, as well as the wonderful smell of fresh-baked
bread. Suu made the most delicious bread on Saleucami and Jester often wished
he could take the scent of it home with him. She had taught him to bake and he
did so, often, but her bread always seemed the best. He could hear her on the
back porch, talking to some new men, telling them they were responsible for the
bowls and spoons. Another trooper was helping her; one of his squad, Leven.
Sketch was at the table with Jek, who was doing homework. Jek always had that
intense, wrinkled-forehead face for homework.
Sketch was relaxed and had several sheets of artwork already scattered in front
of him. Jester could make out several portraits; Commander Tano, a tired,
sleeping trooper, a quick study of intense Jek, as well as the view of the
house from the west hill. His leg was propped up on the bench, a blanket and
several towels were on his thigh and supporting his knee. His knee was twisted
in and back at an ugly angle while his foot was twisted outward and up so his
sole would be perpendicular to the ground. No, he would be able to walk to
Jester's home.
Jester moved quietly and softly straddled the bench next to Sketch. He gently
dropped his forehead on his friend's shoulder. For a moment he tried to blink
back tears, then he let them fall. He'd missed his brother.
Sketch paused for a moment in his drawing, absently patted Jester on the knee
and then continued drawing. Through his tears, Jester gave a chuckle. That was
Sketch.
                                     Numa
Their hands were wrinkled from washing the large soup pots and bread pans, and
they were laughing softly at Jek's expression as he worked on his last page of
schoolwork. This time, at least, aunt Suu had to actually inspect the page
diligently before handing it back with the words, 'Two corrections, Jek.' He
had sighed and trudged back to the table.
Sketch, at the table with his leg stretched out on the bench, warmed and
support by blankets and hot towels, had looked at them with a smile. Then he
quickly began work on another drawing, his eyes barely glancing down as his
quick fingers drew.
Suu put up the last pan, grabbed two hot towels and took the four steps to the
table from the kitchen. Numa and Shaeeah followed.
"May we see them, Sketch. Please. I've been watching you, on and off, for hours
and I am terribly curious." Aunt Suu asked as she replaced two cooled towels
with the hot ones. Sketch almost radiated comfort as he glanced up and murmured
'thank you'.
"Please," reiterated Shaeeah.
"I would also like to see them, Sketch." Long ago nerra Waxer had told her that
using names was good with his brothers. It reminded them of their
individuality. It was polite. He had amended that to 'it is kind'. Numa vaguely
remembered Sketch from Ryloth; though not of Ghost Company like her fathers,
he'd been with the 212th. He had been popular among the men in helping mark
their armor.
It had been nerra Waxer who had told her she must spend time with Shaeeah, to
listen to Madam Lawquane in many things. She'd been reluctant, at first. The
first thing Madam Lawquane had said was to call her Aunt Suu, if she wished.
Numa had wished. She had questions she did not wish to disturb her nerra with.
Perhaps she could ask them of Aunt Suu. She'd never be able to ask Madam
Lawquane.
"Certainly," replied Sketch, absently gesturing to the pages on the table.
"Some of them are for you if you want; the house, that quick one of Jek." His
fingers didn't stop though the girls had moved. Now he was looking down as he
worked. "I'd like to give the one of Commander Tano to Rex and the one of Boil
to Waxer." He smiled at Numa.
Suu picked up one, spread the others on the table. "Oh my." Suu's fingers came
to her lips. "These are absolutely wonderful, Sketch." She spread the pictures
out more carefully on the table, edge to edge, for a better view.
Shaeeah and Numa looked at the drawings she'd spread out. They were beautiful.
"Wow!" Shaeeah's eyes were wide. "Oh yes, Uncle Sketch."
Numa nodded and saw Sketch noticed her gesture with a quick smile at her.
The black and white picture of Jek had the same intense look that was on his
face even now. The picture of the house was in color, almost like a dream
surrounded by the protective trees. You looked at those trees and knew they
protected the house. Numa smiled as she saw a small drawing of nerra Boil, his
face tired and triumphant. Waxer would love it.
Nerra Boil had given this man his freedom so he could create such beauty. She
had missed nerra Boil for the longest time and had hated these men for keeping
him from her. She'd seen the lost looks and growing wonderment in the faces of
the men as she had handed their bowls full of soup back to them. She'd heard
the amazement in their soft words of appreciation for something as simple as
soup and bread. She didn't think she hated them anymore. "Yes, Sketch, they are
wonderful".
A red flush covered his cheeks. "Thank you. I never thought much of it, but all
the guys in the company thought it was the best thing. They could copy, for
their armor and gear and such. Some better and some worse. I could actually
translate real life into drawings or draw out my mind and memory." He laughed
and continued speaking.
"Jester was the one who actually convinced me that I had a special gift. He was
one of the worst. He was never satisfied with what he did and thought he'd
always have white armor." Sketch was silent, smiling as he continued the
drawing.
"You have real talent." Suu gently laid her hand on his back as she peered over
his shoulder. "They seem to almost breathe with life." Already the one he was
drawing was taking form. Shaeeah and Numa with their heads together, their
faces bright with joy, their hands coming up to hide their laughter.
Suu sat next to him, looking closely at each drawing, at his hands. "They
haven't come to move you to the med barn. If you don't mind waking early, you
can stay here in the house."
Numa saw his eyes widened and a smile begin. Suu, watching the drawing take
shape, missed that and continued.
"We can make you a pallet over there and.."
"He says 'yes', aunt Suu." Numa's quiet voice drew Suu's eyes to the trooper.
He was nodding his head with a big smile even as he concentrated on getting the
eyes correct in the art. He picked the pencil from the paper and turned his
head to Suu.
"I'd really like that, Suu. For one, I like the opportunity to help you with
food preparation, to be useful. The food tasting and warm towels are great." He
grinned. "I like the pampering." She blushed softly with a chuckle. Then he
became serious. "I think it would be better for my leg also. Perhaps that wall
by the kitchen…?" he gestured with the pencil in his hand. "It seems warmer
over there and keeping my leg warm helps keep the muscles from twisting up too
much." They knew that hurt him. He'd had a cramp soon after he'd come into the
house. He'd broken the stylus in his fist as he bent his head, eyes closed in a
tight grimace, to the table. They'd brought him all the hot towels then, along
with the blanket. He'd been pale for some time afterwards, worry in his eyes.
Her head gave a quick nod. "It's decided then. You stay here. Shaeeah, why
don't you take Numa upstairs to see your room and bring down linens. Numa, will
you help Shaeeah make the pallet?"
"Yes, Aunt Suu."
"Would you like to stay also? There is room with Shaeeah." aunt Suu looked at
her with a smile.
Numa blushed a dark green. "No ma'am." She shook her head. "Thank you very much
but I want to stay with my nerra for now. Nerra Boil has been gone so long and
we have missed him. It wouldn't be right."
"I understand, Numa." She turned toward the table. "Jek, when you finish…"
"Got it, mom." He handed her the paper. She glanced for the corrections and
gave it a nod. "Go find the medic and tell him Sketch will be staying here at
the house. He was in the back not long ago. Do not go into the barn, wait
outside if you must."
"Ask for Kix," said Sketch, as he continued the picture. "Any trooper will be
able to point him out to you."
"Right. Thanks, uncle Sketch." Then he was off at a run.
"Two speeds," muttered Suu, under her breath as she shook her head. "That boy
has only two speeds."
Numa and Shaeeah went up the stairs for blankets and pillows. Numa liked
Shaeeah. She talked a lot, made a lot of moving noise and would not be able to
move silent, like Numa, but what she said was interesting and fun. Numa thought
it enjoyable to have a friend. She amended that, a cousin of her own age.
"Perhaps in a few days, Shaeeah," Numa said as they were gathering linens, a
few blankets as well as two pillows, one off Shaeeah's bed, "you could come to
camp to spend the night with me."
"That would be great fun, Numa." Shaeeah giggled. "I'd love to learn to walk as
quiet as you."
"So you can sneak up on Jek." Numa smiled. She wasn't a giggling child, her
life had been too serious. "That takes much practice. But nerra Waxer will show
us the stars and name them."
Shaeeah nodded. "Dad says most things take time and practice, if you want to
become good at them. I'll teach you to ride an eopie."
"Perhaps Sketch can ride one? To get around?" Numa sat on the bed.
Shaeeah thought about it as she sat next to Numa. "I don't think so. Even if he
knows how to ride, you use your legs a lot and…" Her shoulder shrugged.
Numa nodded. "He would not be able to do that." She was still while she thought
whereas Shaeeah twisted her fingers and fidgeted with her lekku.
"He is a happy person." Numa reflected.
Shaeeah laughed. "Right now, all of them are happy."
"Nerra Boil said they were going to a terrible place to die; he couldn't let
that happen. So yes, they are happy. But I think that Sketch is a happy person
anyway. Most of the time."
"Dad's a happy person, so is mom," added Shaeeah. "She has sad moments, but
it's not how she normally is. Dad usually just lets most of the bad moments
go."
"Nerra Waxer keeps the bad moments. He thinks about them often and he thinks
about all the bad things of the future." Numa spread her hands and patted the
pillow. "I do not think he has told nerra Boil yet, but he has said we cannot
return to Ryloth."
"Why not?"
"Because they have no legal right to adopt me, though they have cared for me
eight years. The man who holds those rights sold me to slavers."
Shaeeah's eyes grew round. "That's terrible, Numa."
"It is common on Ryloth, now, with the poverty. Even before the war, I'm told,
it was not uncommon."
"What happened?"
"Nerra Waxer and Rex, Fives and Echo rescued us." Numa smiled. "That is where
Fives found his wives. The head man had claimed them both. There was some
arguing, and he ended up paying some money. Not Fives, the pirate." Numa
paused. "I was not with them for long before nerra Waxer rescued me. Only three
days."
"Dad destroyed a squad of commando droids. When Uncle Rex was here the first
time. There were twenty. That was a long time ago."
Numa nodded. "Our fathers are brave and strong and love us so very much. So are
all their brothers. Brave and strong and wise in war, I mean. But they are
not…" Numa couldn't find the right word.
Shaeeah nodded. "I remember when dad first got here. He didn't know anything
about nuna or eopie or farming. Mom taught him everything."
"I think that we are here to teach them something as well." Numa said slowly.
"Rex has not asked that we younglings be sent away. When Ahsoka returns she
will bring their other wife and his son. I heard Rex discuss the dangers of
having so many brothers together and, in nearly the same breath, he included
everyone. Family. That is an important word for him. For my nerra, also."
Shaeeah nodded. "Playing. I heard dad tell mom that one of the most important
things he learned was how to have fun." Shaeeah added.
Numa nodded. "Nerra Boil once asked me why I danced; that he and nerra Waxer
would take care of me and make sure I never hadto dance. He found it hard to
understand when I told him it was fun. Finally I had to tell him it was like
when he ran; for exercise and to clear my mind. That, he understood."
"Mom said they had to learn how to behave around children, around girls, around
young women. Most of them are only eighteen." Shaeeah laughed, then went quiet
and bit her lower lip as she remembered how quickly they aged. Some of the men
had younger faces than her father's lined visage, but none of them appeared
young. "Mom said I was old enough to practice flirting kindly. So you are too."
"I flirt badly, Shaeeah. It is not something my fathers have taught me, so I
will leave that to you. But I will practice kindness," nodded Numa. "It is a
kindness to use their names, to know them apart from their brothers."
Shaeeah stood up with an armful of blankets and sighed. "Sometimes that's so
hard. Chopper and Jesse are easy, Dub, Shy and Gekko also have small scars on
their faces. Edge has blue eyes. Some of them have tattoos. But I can't tell
the difference between Baffle, Crux and Checkout. And I haven't even met all of
them yet."
Numa grabbed the pillows and a set of folded linens. "Crux walks softly as
though through a mine field. Baffle strides hard like he was on a ship and
enjoyed the sound of his boots on the decking. Checkout is always looking
around him." She tilted her head. "Perhaps that is where he picked his name."
"Thanks, Numa. I'll ask you if I have any problems with anyone else." Arms
full, they descended the stairs.
They made the pallet for Sketch, asking him if he wished to be facing this
direction or that. Shaeeah remembered an old lamp that still worked, asked Suu,
and then ran off to find it. Sketch and Numa discussed if he would prefer his
leg on the wall side on not. He asked why he had two pillows and Numa said one
was for his under his knee, or to prop his shoulders if he wished to draw.
Shaeeah came back with the lamp and a small table. It worked to define the
space as well as hold the art supplies and a bottle of water if he got thirsty
in the night. Suu moved a chair beside the pallet for him; for him to sit as
well as support if he wished to stand.
"This is.." he was at a loss for words and almost about to cry. He swallowed
and made a feeble gesture with one hand at the comfortable-looked, soft-lumpy
nest they'd made him, thoughtfully enclosed and with a full water bottle on the
little table. "This is wonderful. Thank you."
Shaeeah hugged him tightly. "You're welcome, uncle Sketch."
"You're welcome, Sketch." Numa hugged him as well. Softly at first, because he
wasn't nerra Boil or nerra Waxer, then harder as she felt the beat of his
heart. It was the same heartbeat she heard in her fathers' chests.
Numa went out on the porch for a moment. Tears were in her eyes. He had been so
astonished that someone had thought of him, thought of his comfort., thought of
things he might use. She didn't want him to think she was crying in pity. Even
if she was.
Another man was sitting on the edge of the porch. He was in clothes very much
like Cut so she assumed he was the other brother from this planet, Jester. He
seemed unhappy, dejected. She sat next to him, swinging her legs a bit. He
looked at her. He had a large scar on one side of his face and Numa inspected
it curiously.
"You are Jester?" she asked.
He nodded, "It's hard to miss the scar."
She frowned. "No one mentioned a scar. It was the clothes. You are dressed like
Cut."
"Oh." He seemed to give this some thought. "You're Numa? Boil and Waxer's
daughter?"
"Yes."
"I've met them both. Good men."
A woman came from the barn, saw them and waved. "Jes, please come. I need you."
She called.
"If only you did…," he murmured as he rose and moved toward the barn.
Numa frowned. "She insults you, Jester."
Jester turned his head even as he moved toward the barn. He gave Numa a soft
smile. "My name is hers to mangle if she wishes."
She sat on the porch for a while, contemplating the new men. Wounded men, in
body and spirit. Contemplating her fathers. Were they that wounded? Had they
ever been? Numa didn't think so. But then, why not? Would she even know if they
were, she was so use to them the way there were?
Numa went back into the house. It was Shaeeah's turn at schoolwork and she was
mumbling over math problems. Numa sat next the Sketch, quiet while his fingers
drew, her body touching him. He noticed. "That feels like kindness, little one,
warm and comfortable."
"It is a small gift. I would put my arm around and hug you if it did not impede
your drawing."
He smiled and continued drawing. "I have a drawing planned for you. It is a
small gift, as well."
When Cut had come in and announced the meeting would begin shortly, Numa took
the colored pencils, his artwork and the blank flimsis to the little table by
Sketch's pallet. Cut had admired the space they'd created for Sketch. His brows
rose in amazement at the pictures Sketch had done. Together with Suu, Cut moved
Sketch to the porch and a chair. She and Shaeeah brought a blanket and hot
towels for his leg.
Sula, paler than usual after working so long with Kayl, was also in a chair
with a shawl around her shoulders, the baby in her arms nursing. Numa was
amused as all of the men so obviously avoided looking at Sula once they
realized what she was doing. Numa shook her head. Didn't they see the love on
her face? Didn't they see the infant, so immersed in feeding? Numa felt she
could watch that interaction for hours. Fives was seated cross-legged on the
porch at the side of Sula's chair, Keeli asleep in cradle of his legs. Almost
everyone was there now.
Rex, Echo and Cody were standing on the porch, nerra Boil was there, between
Rex and Cody. He seemed pleased at something; his shoulders more relaxed than
mere hours ago, a smile playing around his lips. Nerra Boil almost never smiled
fully. Catching his smiles was like catching the swift-moving fish in a river.
Numa went to his side, putting her arm around his waist. His arm went around
her shoulders and gave a quick squeeze.
Jek came and told his mother that he'd told the medic about Sketch, and they
were working on the man with the broken jaw. Nerra Boil, his arm still around
Numa, moved out to the yard where nerra Waxer had found a comfortable clump of
grass for them all. She sat between them, making sure to touch them both. They
were not wounded like these men, but she felt sure they were wounded is smaller
ways.
Cut spoke first, welcoming them to his farm, pointing out that no one had to
leave until they decided to move on, introducing himself. He'd paused and then
told them how he'd deserted. Suu moved by his side then, let him put his arm
around her. He was quiet a moment, as were all the men, remembering those who
marched far away. Numa had tears in her eyes. She had known men, her nerras’
brothers, on Ryloth who had gone out, laughing and talking, who had never
returned.
Suu spoke. Tomorrow's breakfast would be nuna eggs and fried topatos and toast.
They'd receive plates and forks then, leave the bowls and spoons at camp.
Anyone was welcome to come early and learn to cook. She warned they'd be
expected to help. Most of the men seemed interested and Numa thought most of
the men would be at the kitchen earlier than the food would be served. She was
scheduled to be there as well.
Rex stood before the men and took a moment to look them over.
"Gentlemen," Rex's voice roared. "You are no longer military. You are no longer
prisoners. When I say 'at ease', I do NOT mean parade rest. I do NOT mean in
formation." He looked them over with a stern eye and Numa realized they were in
some order.
"Gentlemen, as the last order which I hope you feel compelled to obey, AT
EASE." He waited. The men seemed frozen, seemingly unable to make more than the
smallest movement of not being in that position, hands at their back, straight.
It was unknown territory for them. Rex waited patiently.
Then, there was a laugh from one man. He had scars on his face and silver lines
in the growing stubble of his dark hair. Chopper. He moved to one of the big
trees that shaded the house, one of the trees that Sketch had drawn as
protecting the house. With a few quick moves, he was seated on one of the lower
branches about two meters high, his back to that big trunk, one leg hanging
down, the other on a branch. He was so obviously comfortable. Jek whooped and
ran to the tree. He started to climb and Chopper offered out his hand.
Another man, she didn't know him, moved out of position hesitantly and sat on
the grass not far from their family. Numa waved at him and he bit his lip in
apprehension, then softly raised his hand. It was enough and Numa smile at him.
He smiled back cautiously.
Slowly the men milled about, finding positions of comfort. Some move a little
closer to the porch. One, Countdown, brazenly set on the bench at the porch
stairs then looked up, a worried look on his face. Rex must have given some
invisible sign because he relaxed.
Another man, Gekko, joined Jek and Chopper in the tree with a stunned look on
his face. Numa smiled at that. "They're having fun," she whispered to her
fathers as she looked at the tree. Nerra Waxer gave a short laugh and a nod.
Nerra Boil merely looked perplexed.
Rex did not begin until every man there seemed comfortably located, no one
standing. He spoke the longest. Introducing Shaeeah, Jek and herself as family.
Numa smiled. He said that word, 'family' with such meaning. She saw than most
of the listening men caught that word as well. He pointed out that Jek and
Shaeeah lived on the farm and could be expected to know quite a bit; they also
had responsibilities. At that point, Shaeeah had unexpectedly gone to Rex and
whispered in his ear. He nodded with a smile and then announced that Shaeeah,
Jek and Numa invited everyone to join in games daily before dinner in the front
yard. Numa caught her eyes and smiled. She hadn't thought of that.
Rex went on to explain they would be exit briefing, out-processing, and
evaluating health including psych. The men were silent.
"They're scared, Numa." Nerra Waxer had whispered to her. "Exit briefing,
psychological evaluation has usually meant re-conditioning on Kamino." His
mouth was grim. "At best."
Rex's voice continued. "I'm the first one scheduled for a debrief. I've been
told that my psychological evaluation is not a good one and I will be spending
time with med." He glanced at the gathered men. "Did I mention that it's the
lovely Zeltron ladies who will be doing much of the mental health evaluations
as well as Saria?" He paused and smiled at their surprise. "This is not Kamino.
This is not the GAR nor the Imperial Army nor prison. No matter how bad your
evaluations, you will be making your own choices. I would ask you to speak to
me or Cut before you make your final decision; but if you want to go, you can.
If we think it is a bad idea, we will try to talk you out of it. Our concerns
will be for you, for the men remaining here and the safety of our families."
He gave the porch to Cody. Cody spoke of them being men, individuals. He said
there was no longer any rank between them, he was Cody, not commander, not
Commander Cody. Rex was Rex, not captain, not Captain Rex. And definitely,
neither of them were 'sir'. Their camp leaders were not sergeants, not 'sir',
simply men with experience.
Numa was quite proud of Nerra Boil when Cody announced that not only had Boil
rescued them, but had rescued some forty-seven other men in the course of the
last three years. She hugged him tightly. There'd been silence then; every man
turning to her father with surprise, admiration and respect on their faces.
Cody said that a list of these men would be forthcoming and not to bother their
family with questions at this time.
Echo spoke next, explaining how the men were to be divided into groups, rules
to make the time here comfortable. He spoke too quickly for Numa to catch
everything. "The troopers will catch it, Numa." Said Nerra Boil, noticing her
dazed look. "It's instructions mostly for them."
Echo's voice didn't catch attention like Rex's voice, but it had a cadence.
"Divided out: Ship, when it returns, will be Rex, Ahsoka, Aureki, Barin. House
will be Suu, Fives, Sula, baby, and Saoha, Shaeeah. Med barn will be Kix and
Saria with wounded: Kayl, Sketch, Kaver, Dare and Riposte. Edge, you'll assist,
med barn with Kix. I'll be Camp 1 with Jesse, Chopper, Countdown, Pax, Baffle
and Cody. Camp 2 Cut assistant Jek, Col, Gekko, Quad, Shy and Riven. Camp 3 is
Jester. Troopers Leven, Dub, Backup, Djinn Checkout, and Crux. Scouts' camp is
Boil, Waxer, Numa. If anyone wants to change camp, talk to their camp leader
and then me. Flexibility is encouraged. They'll be no loitering near the barn
or the house doors. Briefings will be scheduled, sign up; the side of the house
will have those notices. Any pilots, mechanics or slicers, see me later."
He glanced up, took a breath. "All notices, in fact, will be posted there and
if you have a notice or questions; post it and someone will respond. There are
a million things to learn and we won't begin to cover them all. I'd suggest
checking it daily. Tomorrow will be a free day for most of you. That's when
Cody will begin debriefing Rex, me, Fives, Jester, Cut." He smiled. "We're a
little overdue for one." That got some laughter, but it was a hard, biting
laughter. "Relax, think about your future. You have one and it's yours for the
planning."
Echo slowed down, coming to the end of his words. "This is all new. Remember
that you are brothers and help each other. Help us out as well." Echo paused
and glanced back to Cut and Suu, their arms entwined around each other's waist.
Cut looked at Suu, then gave a soft nod to Echo. Echo turned back to the men.
"In case you missed it, Cut and Suu have said that no one has to leave; that
they will open this farm to everyone here, if that's what happens. Gentlemen,
Kamino is only the place where you are from. This is home. You are home and
this is family."
Numa saw how those words affected the men. Some openly had tears in their eyes,
some few were smiling. Most had that stoic look which said it hadn't fully sunk
in yet or they didn't believe it. She wondered if those men were the most
broken.
Rex once again began to speak. His wife would return with his family. He hoped.
There was still some danger that the Imperials would find them. Rex bowed his
head. "If that happens. Run. Grab a child if you can, but run. Run in groups of
two and three. Survive. Do whatever you have to do." He pointed. "That way is a
Gran enclave, five klicks, presumed friendly if they aren't overrun." He
pointed a different direction. "That way is a town, thirty-five klicks,
probably best to avoid." Another gesture, "that way is forest, then geothermal
desert."
Numa shivered. She did not need to think of what would happen if the Imperials
came. No one did.
Rex continued. As people completed out-processing and made decisions about what
they wanted their future to be, they would be taken where they wished. Within
limits. Nothing Core, nothing in an active battle zone. He hoped no one would
go alone. He encouraged partners. He said they would be given credits to begin
their new life; not a lot but sufficient for a start, about 2,000 credits per
man. Rex looked them over, seemed to catch every man's eyes. "Gentlemen," he
said, "I am proud of you and honored to know you." He saluted sharply, then
dropped it quickly before anyone could jump up to return it.
They were free now; with decisions and choices and their lives ahead of them.
Rex smiled. "Over the last year since I've been here, Cut and Jester have found
a thermal pool not far away and done some work on it. We'll set up a schedule
for using it, by squad and family. But this evening and tomorrow, it's all
yours. No more than ten men in the pool at a time." He turned and walked down
the stair, off the porch and sat on the bench next to the man already there.
It was the end of the meeting, Numa knew, but there was nothing that marked the
end for the troopers, no shout of 'Di-SMISSED'. Cody yawned and turned to Cut
and Sketch, discussing something. Numa saw the men were confused, but Jek was
pulling his two new friends by their hands.
"Come on, let's go. Before the others get there first."
"Come back by second moonrise, Jek." Suu called out to him, as she took Keeli
from Fives' lap to take him into the house.
"Ok, mom," he called back, already running across the yard, the two following
him at a lope. Numa could see the man with the scars on his face understood
fun. He was grinning as wide as his face allowed.
Suu's call seemed to be the impetus for the troopers milling about. Several
moved in Jek's direction, following the two who'd gracefully pushed themselves
from the tree and run after the boy.
Some men simply stay where they were, relaxing on the soft grass. Two went up
to Rex, one to the small circle that was Cody, Cut and the seated Sketch. Four
went to Sula, probably to see the baby asleep in her arms. When had these men
ever seen an infant? This one had been born with their freedom.
One came to nerra Boil. She felt her father tense slightly. The other man
simply stood for a moment. "Thank you, Boil." He finally said and held out his
arm. Boil gripped it tightly, a brother's handshake.
"Waxer, Numa. This is Riven. Riven, my family." Numa noticed he said 'family'
like Rex did. Nerra Waxer smiled and reached out his hand. Riven clasped it
with a shake. Numa rose to her feet. Softly, she gave Riven a hug. He froze for
an instant, then patted her back. It was odd, but her nerra had that reaction,
so long ago. When she'd first met them.
"Will you be at breakfast cooking tomorrow," she asked conversationally as she
sat down and gestured for Riven to sit. He did after carefully looking at both
Nerra Boil and Nerra Waxer for approval.
"I don't know. It seems impossible to believe, but until this evening, every
meal I've ever had has been rations, prison food, or came out of the white wall
of the mess."
"Then come early. There is no mess here or on most planets and you will need to
learn a few small things." She wrinkled her nose. "Or else survive on rations
for the rest of your life."
Nerra Waxer laughed. "We did for six months. It was not pleasant.”
Riven laughed nervously. "I think you and the supper have convinced me."
"Mostly supper, I suspect." said Numa. "It was delicious, wasn't it?" Riven
nodded.
Boil stood and patted the messenger bag around his chest. "I have a couple of
things I need to do privately. It may take a while so I'll see you back at
camp."
"Ok, Boil." Waxer leaned back on his elbows, comfortable, relaxed, his legs
stretched out in front of him.
"Yes, Nerra Boil." She was cross-legged, facing Riven, and touched nerra Boil
lightly on the leg. He reached down to pat her hand, smiling.
Riven stayed for a short while, conversing. Awkwardly, but conversing; then
declared he wanted to find out about the thermal pool. Numa waved as he strode
in the direction most of the men had ended up going.
Numa got closer to nerra Waxer. He put his arm around her, sharing the warmth
of his chest and she leaned into his shoulder.
"Nerra Waxer, what do these men need to learn?"
"How to be men, my daughter. How to make decisions, how to take care of
themselves, how to love. They have been troopers, they have been prisoners.
Their entire lives they have been given orders and had to follow them. They
need to learn to trust themselves, trust in their decisions.”
"Nerra Waxer," her voice was soft as they watched the light bugs flit among the
stars. "I have heard someone say that these are broken men. Are you broken? Is
nerra Boil broken?"
He hugged her. "Yes, beloved daughter. Boil and I are both broken. More so than
Cut. Less than these men. Less even than Rex and Echo and Fives. Myself less
than Boil. But we are broken."
"How do I fix you, Nerra?"
He chuckled softly and answered in Twi'lek. "By being who you are, beloved
daughter Numa."
                                    Sketch
It had been good to see Jester again. He'd been so shocked to feel that
familiar head against his shoulder. Jester had cried and Sketch'd had tears in
his eyes as well. They talked about the past. Sketch didn't have much to
contribute after his incarceration and Jester had seemed reticent about what
he'd done recently. Sketch let Jester know that Chopper was here as well,
though he had changed in the intervening years. For the better, Sketch had told
Jester with a grin. Jester said he had some duties, but he'd be back after the
meeting. It had been good, but … incomplete. He'd thought to see Jester at the
meeting, but he wasn't there.
It had been a good meeting, full of hard work to be done and the promise of
victory, if they knew what to hear. That word, 'family' had sounded wonderful
to Sketch's ears. He was glad Cut and Suu would open their home. He didn't
think he'd be going anywhere with his leg. When the muscle spasm had ripped
through him earlier that day, he'd been scared; terrified they'd toss him out
as useless. Scared he'd end up begging and crawling in the street, at best, or
turned in for the bounty. But they'd wrapped him in warm towels and love.
They'd made him a special place in the house. They'd taken special effort to
make sure he'd be comfortable. It brought tears to his eyes just to think of
it.
He'd be a cripple for the rest of his life and it hurt to think that, but he'd
do what he could for his family; for Cut and Suu and the kids. They were as
much family as he was ever likely to have. There wouldn't be any woman in his
life, no woman for him to love, no children of his own to hold like he'd held
Sula's newborn baby. He wasn't even sure he could function with a woman. But
there were his brothers, Cut and Jester; maybe others would stay as well. There
was Suu and Shaeeah. There was Jek and Keeli. Sketch nodded to himself. He'd be
Uncle Sketch. It was a good family.
Boil had come up to him afterwards, asking if he wanted help getting into the
house. Sketch had looked around. At the moment, there were plenty of people to
help. He didn't think Suu would let everyone absently walk off before he was
back in the house. He was comfortable. The night was cool and his leg, wrapped
in a blanket, warm, so he declined Boil's help and was amused to see Boil
actually look uncomfortable. Boil moved to his other side, using his body as a
wall between them and the others on the porch. Sketch realized he had hoped for
privacy. He reached into a soft pack draped over his chest and brought out a
small black flimsibook.
Sketch looked at him. "Is that…?"
"Yes. I was working property when it came in. I recognized it. It's not every
day you see a bound book." He handed it to Sketch. "It's not complete. Someone
tore out some pages and I had to get rid of the front page and…"
Sketch laughed as he flipped through his book. "Of course, you did, Boil. You
don't know what this means to me." He looked up at Boil. "Actually, you know
exactly what it means to me or you wouldn't have risked taking it. They would
have incarcerated you too." Sketch lovingly touched the cover. He'd wondered
what had happened to his book of drawings when they never confronted him with
it, never tormented him with it. "And how long would you have lasted among us,
Boil."
Boil turned pale. He hadn't thought of that, he'd never been an imaginative
man. They would have killed him within a few days.
"Do I have you…" Sketch continued on conversationally, "to thank for keeping my
hands intact?"
Boil nodded, "I tried to keep their attention away from your hands. It's
probably my fault they did that to your leg. I notated your file to say you
loved to run."
Sketch shrugged, smiled, and changed the subject. "Numa's growing up. You've
got a wonderful daughter. She is kind, considerate, full of love and very
intelligent. Like her fathers." He paused. "Thank you, Boil. You've done more
than could be expected of any man. If I can ever repay this debt to you, I
will."
Boil shook his head. "It is not a debt. It is a gift. As much to myself as to
you and the other men."
Boil seemed to shift from foot to foot, although he hadn't moved. "I don't know
what we'll be doing next, but I mention it to Waxer and Numa before the meeting
and they're agreeable. If you want to join our family, there's an open
invitation for you." His lips twitched upward at Sketch's naked shock. "Not
that we have anything planned except staying on Saleucami for a while. I
thought you might like a forewarning before Waxer or Numa started asking you
questions you'd find invasive or in case you're worried about your leg or
anything. You always have a home with us."
"Thank you, Boil. I.." he shook his head looking at his recent jailer with
amazement. "Just thank you, Boil." He smiled. "That's a better gift than my
sketchbook."
Boil had left then, patting the messenger bag around his chest and Sketch
wondered who else would receive a visit, what other treasures Boil would be
able to return.
Jester came back then, sat next to Sketch, and leaned his head back against the
wall of the house. His hair, longer than regulation, but somehow 'right' on
Jester, was damp with sweat and messily push back off his face.
"What's the matter, Jester?"
Jester shook his head. "Actually, nothing. I'm just wrung out. We got Dare's
jaw aligned and it looks good now according to Saria. We had to double his time
under anesthesia though and re-break it and grind off a burr of bone. After Kix
had set it, one of the guards pushed Dare's face against a wall. Dare wrote
that he hadn't felt any difference and this was when one of the other men was
dying and Baffle took a beating. He didn't think it worth mentioning to Kix at
that time. He didn't know his jaw was crooked, healing crooked." Jester gave a
deep breath his eyes closed. "He was miserable. They had to go in and sand off
that little burr of healed bone. We were all miserable. That drill has an
awfully shrill pitch; enough to drive anyone out of their skull."
"What were you doing, Jester?" Sketch was curious. Jester had no medical
training or experience that he knew of except on the receiving end. If Jester
was helping in medical, then a lot had changed.
"When Saria doesn't have the outright strength to do something and the proper
tool isn't available, she'll put her hands to mine and use my strength. We've
done it before; setting a dislocated shoulder, pulling a broken femur back into
line. She put her hands around mine, set them on Dare's jaw and together we
broke what had healed wrong." He scratched his chin with the back of his curled
fingers. "She could probably do that with Kix, maybe even better with Kix. I
think I'll suggest it." Jester shrugged. "Depends on how long he plans to stay.
I suspect it's part of that 'follow orders' clause in our flash-programming and
she explains how much pressure is needed very well. But since we've done it
before, she trusts me."
"Jester, who's Saria?" Sketch knew she was the nurse, but Jester spoke of her
in a tone of more intimacy.
"These days," Jester's voice was soft and he stared towards the barn, "I don't
know." Jester looked about to cry. "I just don't know." He repeated.
Sketch nodded softly, starting to understand why his earlier talk with Jester
had seemed incomplete. There was incomplete business between him and the nurse.
"Jester. I need some help getting back into the house. The girls have fixed me
up a nice spot. It's right near the kitchen, real warm, out of the way. I've
got a chair, table, comfortable bedroll. All the comforts I could desire. You
have to see it."
Jester smiled and stood, putting his arm around Sketch. Kix was coming across
the yard and ran the last few steps to help. They got him into the house and to
his comfortable-lumpy nest where Kix indicated he wanted Sketch on the chair.
Kix squatted on one knee. Sketch showed them his drawings and asked for some
hot towels from the kitchen. Jester brought them in for him then sat next to
the pallet going through the art with Kix looking over his shoulder.
"I'll bring your cot tomorrow, Sketch That will make it easier to get up. But
this looks really good. It's warm, out of the way, convenient. You couldn't ask
for a better spot." Kix admitted. "It's better for you than the barn."
Sketch gave both men a lop-sided grin. "You ought to see the pampering I get. I
get the first taste of anything, hot towels whenever I need one. Cut or Fives
or Rex coming in, they sit to talk with me so I know what's going on. Sula or
Saoha walking out, I get a bit of flirting; hugs and soft kisses." He shook his
head. "Only thing that keeps me from thinking this is some wonderful dream is
the leg. And that makes it real."
"How is it doing," asked Kix.
"One really bad cramp this morning. I thought I was going to puke. But I think
that was a leftover from the ship. It was shortly after we came down to the
house. After that long a ride…" Sketch shrugged. "I really expected a few more.
Since then, I've kept it warm." He smiled. "Suu and the girls have kept me
supplied with hot towels."
"Let's see it." Kix said.
With Jester's assistance, Sketch stood and pulled off the cotton pants, his
teeth gritted against the pain. There was so much less pain than usual. Sketch
shook his head, prison had been usual for him up until now. Normal was what he
was feeling now, not what they'd subjected him to in prison. Kix inspected his
leg, touching carefully. He shook his head.
"It looks about as good as I think it will ever get, Sketch. If you ever get
the chance, see some specialist in orthopedics about bone rubbing on bone.
Particularly your knee. That's where most of your pain comes from. The rest is
from where muscles have been pulled from their attachments on bone. I'd like
Saria to take a look at it too, sometime. Maybe in a few days when everything
calms down a bit. She might be able to offer some alternate suggestions."
Jester nodded. "You couldn't have someone better on your medical team than
Saria."
Kix snorted. "Saria said you found her less exciting than the neighbor, less
exciting than a 35 klick run, less exciting than a tree stump." Jester simply
looked down as Kix started pulling Sketch's pants up for him. Sketch reached at
the waistband and finished.
Jester shook his head. "Just because we … don't deal well with each other
anymore, doesn't mean I don't recognize that she is a dedicated, brilliant and
wonderful nurse." He laughed. "If I was dying, she's the person I'd want
fighting for me. No matter how much she hates me, she'd still do her best."
Kix nodded. "She had that determination for Kayl. Without her, without Saoha
and Sula, I'd have lost him."
Together, Jester and Kix set Sketch comfortably on his pallet. Jester stayed,
sat next to him and they talked as they had long ago in barracks. Sketch told
him about Boil's offer, how he'd felt after hearing Cut say no one would be
turned away, how he'd felt being crippled. He described all the pain stored up
in his soul from prison, from his leg, from knowing he'd never have a family
like Cut or Fives, from missing Jester, from what he'd done in the Jedi temple.
Jester had listened and clasped Sketch's forearm with one hand, the other on
his shoulder. "We're brothers, Sketch. We'd be brothers if one of us had been
born Wroonian and the other Twi'lek. My home is yours. Right now, it's
difficult for you to get to, but it's not an insurmountable problem and I will
take care of it."
Three homes, three families in one day. Sketch felt rich beyond all imagining.
"What about you, Jester? I'd heard that you and Saria were engaged. You can't
have talked to her about me yet."
Jester's brows came down and he frowned. "I think she's broken off the
engagement and she's no longer at the house. She said I'd have to share."
Jester looked at the floor and his voice was soft. "I can't share." Then he
looked up into Sketch's eyes and smirked softly. "I certainly can't help you
with advice about women, Sketch. I don't have one of my own."
"She seems important to you. Maybe you can learn to share, Jester." Sketch said
softly as he laid a hand on Jester's shoulder. "It seems that Rex and Echo
learned."
Jester shook his head. "Maybe with you, Sketch, my brother. But not with the
man's she's chosen."
Sketch considered his brother carefully. He was glad he'd seen Jester before
meeting Saria. It would be interesting.
                                      Col
Col stared into the dying coals of the fire. It was morning, an hour before
dawn. They'd been on Saleucami for barely a day and already he wanted off. He
looked at the holovid held in his hands then clasped it tighter. Boil had
brought it to him. He'd had some explanation but Col hadn't listened after he'd
stammered his thanks. Boil had shrugged and walked away from camp.
He'd been with the 187th on Dantooine. They'd been decimated and it was said
that no one had been able to walk off the field of battle unassisted, except
the general. Col himself hadn't even been found by the searchers. The seismic
driver had sent him, heels over head and spinning, into a wide, slow-moving
river that meandered through the grassy plain. He would have drowned except for
some piece of plastic detritus floating by he'd grabbed at in painful
desperation. The rest, he didn't remember except in rare nightmares.
Col did remember waking up. It was night and the cloudless sky was strewn with
diamond stars. There'd been the sound of a musical wind and pain everywhere in
his body. There was a small fire, like this one, Col remembered. A small, warm,
gentle flame that crackled softly, that glowed a soft, cheery orange-red. The
musical wind had stopped and a cool hand caressed his face. A warm voice
caressed his soul. He'd wept to know he wasn't alone. She'd sat next to him
through the night and most of the next day, playing that wind flute.
Essentially, he'd been half broken; the side of him that had faced the seismic
driver was shattered. He had broken ribs, clavicle, scapula, humerus, ulna,
radius, tibia, fibula and a cracked femur. He'd had a concussion as well.
Later, he'd found out he'd also had a cracked pelvis. There'd been no bacta
tank or med droid, only her.
She had sat there, taken care of him, not leaving him for days at a time. She'd
built a small shelter of grass bundles over him to keep off the rain. She had
lain next to his good side to keep him warm, to keep him company. She listened
to him rage, weep, curse, cry. She had taken care of him physically without
embarrassment.
He'd been a little healed when she moved him to her family's compound. He'd
been somewhat healed the first time he'd made love to her under that diamond
sky. He'd been mostly healed, only a limp and some stiffness in his shoulder,
when he'd left her to return to his unit. There'd been a lot of questions about
where he'd been for such a long time, but his damaged bones were proof
sufficient.
Cut sat next to him, disturbing his reverie. "How are you doing, Col?" He
asked. Col looked at him, dipped his head in respect and spoke.
"I want to leave."
Cut seemed a bit hurt, but smiled. "You've only been here a day."
Col couldn't explain but perhaps the vid could. He flicked the sound off; no
need to wake anyone else and dropped it into Cut's hand.
Cut flicked it on. Col watched her face with a smile as the blue likeness flare
into their vision. Ehveen was beautiful. Making the vid had been a special
occasion for her. She'd done her hair up and worn her best dress, the one with
flowers embroidered down one side. It was tight around her belly.
"I was 187th. She pulled me out of a river on Dantooine and nursed me back to
health." Col glanced down at the warm coals. "It took a while. As soon as I
could, I returned to my unit. I received this a year later. I've received
nothing since." He shrugged. "I was amazed to get this."
Cut nodded. Communications were not encouraged, particularly between troopers
and civilians. He sighed. He hadn't thought this part of his work would begin
so early. "So, why do you want to go back?"
Col looked at him as though Cut was insane. "Look at her, she's pregnant. With
my child. Colehve if a girl, Colehn if a boy; our names combined."
"What will you do? It's been, how long, seven years since this vid?" Cut
pushed. "She probably doesn't even remember you."
Col groaned as he put his face in his hands. "I'll talk to her. I hope she
remembers me. I'll see if she wants me to stay; hope she wants me to stay. I'll
go away if that's what she wants."
"What do you want, Col?" Cut knew that so many of the men found it difficult to
articulate their wants. He still found that difficult. Some troopers believed
they didn't even have wants; they'd been programmed so thoroughly to believe
their only purpose to follow orders.
"I want to hold her, love her, make love to her." Col looked Cut in the eyes.
"I haven't done that with anyone else, even when I had the chance," he said in
an angry voice. Col was quiet for a moment. He stirred the coals with a stick.
"I want to be with her, help her on the farm. Help her father with the nerf. I
can do that now that I'm healed."
He glanced at Cut. "Can you believe I know how to milk a bantha? Blue milk in
container has nothing in common with the fresh stuff." Col laughed softly and
Cut smiled as he glanced towards sunrise.
"What else, Col?"
"I want to meet my child. Let him know his father…" Col's eyebrows furrowed. "I
don't know. Let him meet me. Let him know that I do care for him, that I didn't
just desert him."
"But you did." Cut pointed out.
Col moaned and dropped his head to his chest. "I know. My loyalty was to the
army. I didn't realize that the army had no loyalty back."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know. What can I do?" Col looked at Cut. Cut saw it was an actual
question, not a plea to some nameless, formless, uncaring fate.
"Well. You can start the out processing."
Col snorted. "I'd be way down on the list for debriefing. Commander's already
…"
"Who?" asked Cut.
"Commander Cody," answered Col, a bit short.
"Who?" repeated Cut softly.
Col looked at him, remembering the meeting. "Cody."
Cut smiled. "Yes, he's going to be pretty busy for a while. Still, perhaps you
could go at this backwards."
"What do you mean?" asked Col
Cut shrugged. "There's no rule saying you have to get your debrief first. Sign
up for first available, then work on the physical and psyc while you're waiting
for the debrief. I suspect that Rex will be doing debriefs anyway even if he
isn't cleared." He shook his head. "This is not the army and they aren't going
to keep records. This isn't a fitness evaluation to Imperial standards. This is
mostly to determine that your chance of survival out there is good. That you
can find some kind of work. That you're not going to have a mental breakdown
the first time you walk into a store and have to choose between a hundred
different possibilities. That you can determine if someone is insulting you or
trying to pick you up or asking directions to the nearest park."
Cut paused for a minute. "Even so, you're going to seem a little off to most
civilians. You'll find yourself saying sir and ma'am. Not saluting is terribly
difficult." Cut looked down and handed the holovid to Col. "Even after almost
eight years, I still sometimes react like a trooper instead of a civilian."
Col nodded. They'd gotten him out of prison, away from Kamino. After that
trouble, they wanted to make sure he stayed alive as long as he could. He
looked at the holovid, flicked it on again and paused it at the point where
Ehveen looked up, one splayed hand on her pregnant belly, the other reaching up
for him.
"How long do you think it might take?" He asked Cut while he stared at her
figure before him.
"I have no real idea. How long were you with her? What kind of work do you
think you could do? What kind of practice did you get on Dantooine about being
just a man?"
Col nodded. There had been times on Dantooine where she or one of her family
would simply stare at him in wonder or frustration. Then, normally, they'd give
him a quick hug of acceptance; he would ask and they would explain. "Can I have
some flimsi and stylus? If I make a plan to show progress maybe they'll see
that I'm serious."
"I can. And I think that's a great idea." Cut didn't tell him that he already
had Cut's voice on his side.
***** First Week on Saleucami *****
                          Third Morning on Saleucami
                                     Saria
Saria sighed as the man came into the makeshift office in the barn. Kix was at
breakfast, Edge was with Kayl and Dare. This man was the first trooper to come
to her office. He did not have the look of a troubled man. He was not a
patient.
He took one look at her guarded expression and the corner of his lip gave the
barest quirk, as though he might, one day, think of smiling.
He had a neatly trimmed mustache that circled to both sides of his chin, the
only mustache she'd seen so far. His hair was also neatly trimmed; more neatly
than the rest of the men. He wore the black pants and turtleneck of a trooper
uniform rather than the soft sweats they'd provided. Like all his brothers,
like Jester, he was tall, strong, broad in the shoulders and handsome. His eyes
were red-brown instead of Jester's golden-brown. This one was confident. He
didn't need to see her.
"You don't like flirting?" He had noted her body language.
Mentally she groaned. Nearly every man she'd seen yet in camp had said
something. Two of them had proposed marriage. Four had proposed sharing,
whatever that was, and even one who hadn't spoken more than a few words, who
hadn't even raised his head to see her, who would so obviously be seeing her
professionally, had hinted.
"I enjoy flirting," she replied with a smile. "But subtly, not blatant." She
looked at him, so confident standing there. "Most of the men here haven't quite
discovered, 'subtle'."
His lips made soft movement as thought trying to smile, though it didn't quite
reach his eyes. "That is a foreign concept for most of us. Still, I'd feel as
though I hadn't tried."
She held her hand out, palm up. "Please give it a try."
"Shall we get married? I'd love to share you. You are absolutely beautiful. You
have the most perfect breasts I have ever seen." He strung together in one long
sentence. The last part, at least, had some semblance of emotion behind it.
"No, no, thank you and thank you. That was the most average flirting I've heard
from anyone." She thought a moment, "Except the part about the breasts. That
was..." she paused, seeking the right word, "individual."
He gave a soft chuckle. "I suspect it's what most of the men are thinking. They
merely aren't as… blatant as me."
She caught his humor and laughed softly. That was a plus for his psyc.
He sat down in the chair opposite her without her direction. "If you're still
unattached in a half-year, I will very likely come see you and be more
serious." He didn't smile, but he did relax. "And subtle, of course. At the
moment, though, there is too much going on."  He shrugged.  "I'm here merely to
talk and to open the way for my brothers."
Definitely confident.
"I'm Saria. I've been trained as a surgical nurse and have some psychological
training as well, however, there will be no in-depth psychological evaluations,
merely overviews. We want to make sure you will be able to manage once you
leave Saleucami." She smiled. "May I have your name?"
He waited, watching her, inspecting her. His eyebrows flicked up, questioning.
"If I give you my name, will you insult me?"
"No, of course not."
He shrugged. "So, for you to insult me, I'd have to be sharing you?"
Her mouth opened again. "What….?"
"You may call me Boil." He was quiet. Waiting. Watching. She'd never seen a man
sit so perfectly still. She'd never seen a man so obviously observant.
"Boil." She said his name cautiously. She was torn between asking why he was
there and what those two small sentences meant.  "You're the one who rescued
the men."
He glanced down at the floor with a smile, then back to her eyes. Not
shyness,she decided,humility.
"It could not have been done without me. But, ultimately, it was the squad
which pulled it off." He shook his head. "I could not have done it without
them."
"Do you have any nightmares, any symptoms of battle stress such as…?"
"No." Then he shrugged. "A few minor symptoms. Hyper vigilance. Sleep
disturbances but no nightmares. Paranoia. Though that could be a requisite for
survival rather than a symptom of anything else. I think I'll keep the
paranoia." His lips quirked again, as though he'd wanted to smile, but didn't
dare. "I go out running for relaxation. Waxer and Numa sometimes join me." He
looked her in the eyes. "I've been doing this for three years with no backup,
no support, no friends, and very little recognition.  I've had no time off for
good behavior and I'm tired. I'm taking care of that now. I have my family with
me. Doing what I did; Cody publically recognizing that the other night, I
think, will go a long way to helping me."
"I believe so, as well." She nodded. "You did a very courageous thing."
"It is no more than what any of my brothers have done. Sketch would draw
pictures in the dirt for the men's entertainment. He could have lost his hands
for that. Chopper would take the blame and go to solitary for almost any
disturbance that happened. Kix kept them as healthy as he could.  He was
growing a colony of antibiotic fungi on damp bread?" Boil shook his head. "How
did he know how to do that?"
"It's not difficult at all. Simply…" she began, but he cut her off with his
words.
"Not difficult for you. You are trained in linear thinking; you can pull
together a myriad of trivial facts and connect them. Kix is flash-programmed.
That provides only answers, no extraneous information, not the pathway, no
understanding of why that particular answer is correct. There is a great deal
of difference between them."
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Cody kept reminding them there were
more than just clones; they were brothers, they were men. Dub told stories and
recited ribald lyrics."
Saria had tears in her eyes. What they had gone through was painful to
contemplate. "I've heard a little of what happened. I expect to hear more." She
wiped her eyes, it wasn't professional, but it was human. "You seem as though
you're dealing with everything very well. You have an idea of what is troubling
you, and are working towards your health. Why then are you here?"
"My daughter, Numa, has told me two things. She says first, she would like to
speak with you about an incident which happened a year ago or so. She has not
told Waxer, my partner, she wants to see you."
"I'm here, mostly, to help the men with adjusting to life after being in
prison." It wasn't a refusal and Boil didn't take as such.
Boil nodded. "She was sold off to slavers by her uncle. Waxer, Rex and his men
had to rescue her."
Saria frowned with dismay and her eyes went wide. Boil saw she'd talk to Numa.
"She tells Waxer she was not raped and that's good for our family."
"That is very good. Rape can just tear a family apart. I cannot imagine what
that would do to your family." She saw Boil nod, knowing it would rip both him
and Waxer to pieces.
"And for a child …"
Boil spoke, again statue-still. "She is not a child anymore according to Ryloth
law though she doesn't have adult status either. She has asked to speak with
you in confidentiality and I support that." He puckered his lips in thought.
"She wouldn't lie about anything, much less something this critical. But last
night and the night previous, when I went out for a run, I notice she was awake
staring at something I couldn't see. She was still awake when I got back; even
if she did close her eyes and try to fool me, pretending to be asleep. And that
means my daughter is hiding something." Boil shifted in the chair. "That
bothers me."
"Certainly, I'll talk to her." Saria thought a moment. "Under the same
confidentiality as I talk with the men. Not even notes. With or without Saoha,
whichever she prefers." She looked at him. "Neither you or Waxer will hear of
this again unless she tells you or asks me to tell you."
"Good. Thank you. I will let her know and she will come at a good time for
you." He thought a moment, utterly still. "If she asks you to tell us, make
sure to ask her whether me or Waxer or both. We are very different." His lips
quirked in secret amusement.
"I will make sure to ask her that as well. What's the other thing she said that
made you want to see me?"
"She wants to know why you insult Jester"
"What?" It burst from her lips. "I'd never insult Jes."
Boil looked at her as he stood to leave. "You just did."
                        ------------------------------
"What have you done to my trooper, Saria?" Rex's body practically vibrated with
rage as he blocked her way.
"I've done nothing to Jester." She was under no illusions as to which trooper
he was referring to. Rex was possessive of his men in a way that was almost
pathological to her civilian mind; as though he were responsible for them; from
their health to their actions. Cut had told her that was normal for a clone
captain.
"He said you weren't pleased with him, that you'd taken Chymdura as a lover."
"That's a lie!" She amended her statement at Rex's expression, shaking her
head. Jester didn't lie and she knew that. "No. That's wrong and I don't know
where Jester got that information." Saria shook her head. "It's purely
professional with Dr. Chymdura. He's almost twice my age."
"And you're almost twice Jester's age, in case you've forgotten, if it's even
relevant. Jester said you wanted to share and Jester doesn't share."
"What does that mean anyway, Rex? I've gotten proposals from about half the
troopers to share."
Rex looked around. In the distance he could see some of the men going around
the building to read the notices. Several were heading to lunch at a walk,
eager for the good food supplied by Suu.
"In this group I would say it means they have so little self-esteem that
they'll accept any attention you give them. A touch on the hands, a small hug,
a kiss on the cheek, a little flirting, or even just being seen with them by
their squad. If you share those small touches..." He shook his head. "They've
been in prison. They haven't seen a woman in all that time. While we were
escaping, one man stared at Ahsoka and Saoha as they flew the ship. He'd never
seen a woman in the flesh. Touching him on the arm would make him deliriously
happy." He glared at her again. "Those would be fine and count for nothing with
Jester. He'd appreciate you making his brothers feel welcome.  More usually
though; more healthily from your point of view, sharing means that they'll be
willing to share you with another lover or they're willing to share you with
the man or men or women of your choice in a long-term relationship. The way
Fives shares Sula and Saoha. "
"Like you and Echo share Ahsoka?"
Rex was quiet for a moment. "I don't share. Neither did Echo. I was lucky
enough that Echo learned to share. It's why he's first husband." He looked at
her as though she were a small, particularly nasty insect. "And there is
another partner in our marriage, Aureki. Do not forget it."
"Well, I don't share either, not sexually. I am faithful to Jester." She
frowned, her eyes getting moist. She did not want to cry in front of Rex.
"Then why'd you move out? Why does Jester believe you're with Chymdura?"
"I don't know why he thinks I'm having an affair with Dr. Chymdura." Her arms
moved up in frustration. "I moved out because Jester was never there, always
going out on his run. I'd come back from working with Chymdura, he's mentoring
me in obstetrics. And I would just tumble into bed most nights. Yes, I was
exhausted and the sex, what little there was of it, wasn't that great. But it
was a temporary situation and Jester knew that. He even told me he approved of
me learning more about obstetrics. He said after everything it made him happy
to know I'd be helping bring babies into the world."
Her face twisted. She would NOT cry in front of Rex. "But every night he'd go. 
Thirty-five klicks in two hours. Right." She couldn't help the sarcasm that
dripped from her lips. "Just enough time to run over to Cass Cjain's house for
a quick fling then back and too tired to even bother kissing me, never mind
making love, never mind talking to me or listening to me or holding me. He
shared. He just never told me."
Rex shook his head. "I doubt that. He was too involved in you. And if he did
share, he'd tell you. Jester is not a secretive man." He shook his head again.
"Jester doesn't share." Rex narrowed his eyes. "I've heard that you insulted
him publically here."
Her mouth opened slightly then closed softly, she had no anger there. "I don't
know. I never thought of it, but it was brought to my attention this morning
that calling Jester 'Jes' was an insult."
"It is. A clone's name is one of the two things that are absolutely his. What
have you done about it?"
"What do you mean?" Her mind wondered over the other of 'two things' a trooper
came of Kamino with. Armor, perhaps?
He tilted his head, still angry, his eyes still glittering. "Have you bothered
to apologize?"
She hung her head. "Not yet. I've been busy with Kayl and Dare. And Jester's
been …"
"Then do it and leave him alone." Rex snapped. "Osik. You two seemed so happy
when I visited last. Now he's about as broken as the rest."
He turned his back sharply to her and was gone. She felt like a door had
slammed in her face.
Ok, now she could cry.
She walked stiffly back into the barn, ignoring Edge at Dare's cot, ignored the
sleeping Kayl, as she moved into her makeshift office and shut the door before
the first tears tumbled from her eyes.
                        ------------------------------
Saria saw Jester, finally, walking past the med barn toward the house. Was he
avoiding her?
"Jes. Ter." She called out for him from the med barn, running a bit to catch up
with his long-legged stride. She didn't want to get too far from the wounded
men in the med barn. She realized she had almost compounded the error. "Jester,
please wait." She glanced up and realized she hadn't had to say that. He'd
stopped at her first call.
There were a few men and Shaeeah in the front yard playing with Keeli, now
watching them. Two men were walking with Jester, they continued moving toward
the front yard, giving Jester his privacy to converse with her.
It had been here they would have heard her insult him, when she'd called to him
yesterday. It would be a public apology; she had planned it that way. It seemed
only fair. She caught up with him.
Saria wanted to smile at him, at those golden-brown eyes, see his soft smile in
return. His face was simply still, a small frown on his lips, two parallel
lines between eyes, his eyes with none of the joyful animation she knew. Rex
was wrong. Jester wasn't a broken man; he just no longer had any interest in
her.
She didn't smile. "Jester, I want to apologize for insulting your name. I was
so busy and there was a lot…" She bowed her head and stomped her shoe into the
dirt. "Oh, never mind that. I have no real excuse and I apologize. I will not
to do so again and if I do, please correct me immediately."
"Apology accepted. Is that all, Saria?" His expression hadn't changed much, but
there was something softer in his gaze, in his lips. As though he wasn't angry,
simply sad. She wanted to kiss those soft lips. Not that she'd dare, not after
the last time she'd tried and he had abruptly walked out of the house for 'a
run'.
"There is something else. I don't want to leave Kayl and Dare. Kix told me
about Sketch and I have some crutches in my office. You know the office, the
keys and codes. C'Layndjura knows you, so getting into the building won't be a
problem. I really can't send anyone else without it drawing a lot of attention.
The crutches are in the supply closet." Her lips tightened. "I didn't realize
that prison would be so cruel as to not provide crutches as needed." She looked
at him and he nodded softly. "I think the tall ones would work best at the
moment, but bring the forearm crutches as well." "
His eyes were interested, suddenly animated, and full of life. No, Jester
wasn't broken.
"Can Sketch use crutches? It seems his twisted leg is longer. If he could, I
know it would really mean a lot…" He smiled softly at Saria and her heart
double-timed. She knew the smile wasn't really for her. Rex might be
pathologically possessive, but Jester wasn't far behind. She was beginning to
suspect it was a trait all the cloned men had been given. It certainly made for
loyalty between them.
"Certainly, he can use crutches. Maybe not great, but we'll work on that. In a
standing position, the muscle should relax so his leg is slightly bent. We will
manage."
"Certainly, Saria, I'll go. I can't thank you enough. Is there anything else in
your office you might need?"
She thought a moment, her head shaking slightly, "No, I don't think so. But ask
Kix also before you go. He may think of something." She pointed towards the
back of the house. "He mentioned being hungry, so he's probably having lunch."
Jester started to turn away but she touched his arm and he paused. "I really am
sorry, Jester." she said softly. It wasn't his name she was apologizing for now
and he knew it.
Softly, he shook his head. The frown was gone, but the look that replaced it
was no better. "It's not something I can do anything about, Saria." He looked
as though he was about to say more, but he turned to go look for Kix.
She had expected anger or indignation or confession. She had expected argument
or justification. She hadn't expected his look of sadness.
Saria put her hands over her face, Tsu'kain, she was tired! She pulled back her
hair, retied it, and turned back toward the barn.
One of Jester's brothers came toward her moving at that graceful, quick lope.
Warrior's pace, Jester and Cut called it. He had no marks, no tattoos or scars
on his face. She watched him; his hands, his shoulders, his face, for what made
him individual. Once she'd met a brother of Jester and Cut and looked for
differences, she had no trouble telling him from any other brother. This one
had fighting scars on his knuckles, not uncommon on Jester's brothers, but he
also had a slight scar on his thumb. That would make it easy. His right
shoulder was slightly stiff as he moved. Old injury, perhaps? He moved with
loose hips, ready to move quickly to either side. She nodded. She'd know him
from now on.
"I will escort you back to the barn." He gave her a smile.
She groaned. "I don't need this." She muttered. She could see whatever he had
planned vanished as he quickly improvised. Mentally she gave him a plus on his
psyc.
"I will simply escort you back, give you a short shoulder rub if you wish, and
visit Kayl." He fell in step with her. "You need one; your shoulders are
crowding your ears."
She chuckled at that. He was probably right; it had been a rough few days. It
had been a rough few months.
She'd had her patients as well as mentoring with Chymdura. He was a brilliant
obstetrician, but his schedule didn't mesh very well with hers and that made
for long nights and weekends. He said it was good preparation for recalcitrant
babies who never came when you calculated they'd come.
Then Jester ignoring her. She couldn't understand that. He'd been so
joyful when they'd gotten engaged, when she'd said 'yes' to his quiet, hesitant
proposal. She stopped thinking in that direction or else she'd start crying.
Again. She'd been crying an awful lot since Jester had begun ignoring her, even
more since she'd felt impelled to move. He'd been avoiding the house when she
was there, taken to sitting outside on some tree stump outside. That hadn't
seemed fair, it was his house. So she had moved.
Her face twisted. Jester had gone to Cass Cjain's the first night she'd had to
meet Chymdura. He'd been late, a breech birth of Wroonian twins that ended
happily for mother and children, less happily for herself. She'd come home
sometime in the early morning of the next day, rather than late the previous
night. She should have gone to sleep. Jester hadn't been there. She looked for
him rather than falling into bed. She really should have gone to sleep. She met
him coming up the pathway that led to Cass Cjain's house. He'd admitted he gone
there. He even admitted he'd gone there with the intention of bedding her, but
denied anything had happened
'What happened, Jester? Truly.' She had asked. In retrospect, she realized
she'd been too exhausted to make sense of anything. It had been a bad time to
discuss anything. She really, absolutely should have gone to bed.
'Nothing, Saria. Absolutely nothing.' He had shouted. Something she'd never
heard from him before; he had actually raised his voice and yelled at her.
Saria had believed him. Mostly. Except he stopped sleeping with her, stopped
kissing her, stopped hugging her, stopped looking at her and spent much of the
day communing with the blasted tree stump.
Jester seemed so sad and she was no happier. She had decided to return to
Jester's home. She would ask him, beg him what had happened between them; why
he didn't love her anymore. That she'd give up learning obstetrics, if that's
what he wanted. Then Cass Cjain showed up in Chymdura's office a week ago, on
one of Saria's days, newly pregnant. After the preliminary exam and Cass'
departure, Saria had locked herself in one of the examining rooms and cried.
Saria looked at the man who was staring at her. Apparently, she hadn't taken a
step in several seconds.
She sighed. "I think my shoulders are crowding my brain. I'd really appreciate
a good shoulder massage if you can manage without making too many proposals."
He narrowed his eyes and thought a moment. "Shall we settle for five proposals?
I don't feel that's too many." He smiled and her heart flipped again. It was so
much like Jester's smile.
"How about none?" She bargained.
"I can't go for that, I have a reputation to protect."
She raised an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes.
"…a reputation to build." He corrected himself, trying to keep his face
straight. He was so obviously enjoying this; learning to flirt. "Three
proposals."
She sighed deeply. Was this 'sharing'? "One proposal is the most you should
ever make to one person."
"One proposal and two propositions." He chortled.
Touch. Rex had indicated they were all starved for touch.
"One proposal and a public hug," she countered.
He swallowed and asked softly. "A hug?" His eyebrows rose and his face became
doubtful. "I don't know if I'm ready for a hug."
She smiled. "You'll have to learn and its one of the basics of flirting."
He straightened to his full height. "Done." He nodded sharply. "I can propose
and hug one time."
"We're in public. Would you like the hug now?" she asked. In some ways,
flirting with Jester's brothers was fun. They were so innocently enthusiastic
flirters.
He glanced around. "No. Yes." His eyes held near panic. "I'm not sure."
"It's mostly the woman's choice anyway."
"That's good." He was obviously relieved.
"I'll tell you what. Sometime, within the next four days, I'll give you a hug."
"In public." He reminded. She smiled.
"You are definitely not ready for a private hug." She said.
He contemplated that briefly. "What comes after private hugs"?"
They'd reached the barn by then. She sighed. "Long, sweet private hugs with
kisses and full body contact and hours of touching." She looked at him with a
smile. "But then, it's not flirting anymore." He nodded, somewhat stunned by
his new knowledge.
"I'm sorry. I don't know who you are."
"Crux. I'm with Jester's camp. He says you are not married."
Saria's face lost the smile. Crux caught that and changed what he was going to
say. "He said it's always good to practice dealing with people. He said we
weren't good at flirting and it was the beginning of courtship ritual." He
looked down, then into her eyes with determination. "One day I'd like …" he
wasn't sure and substituted, "long sweet private hugs with hours of touching.
When it's not flirting anymore."
"A wife, a true love." She whispered softly, her face terribly sad.
Jester'd had a similar sad look on his face when Crux had asked him about the
women in the camp. Suu was Cut's no sharing and gentle in flirting, he'd been
told. Sula and Soaha were with Fives, Jester didn't know about sharing but
flirting was like breathing for Zeltrons. There would be two more women, Ahsoka
and Aureki, Rex and Echo's wives; again, no sharing but flirting was probably
allowed. The two girls were younglings and Crux had earned a cuff on the head
for even mentioning them, never mind what their fathers would do. Saria…
 Jester had gotten that sad look and said simply. "She's not married. She
claims to have no lover."
Her face crinkled up and Crux thought she was about to cry. Fierfik! He was
barely learning to talk with a woman, bravely flirting with her; he had no idea
what to do if one cried! He turned to the man on the cot. If he was making her
cry, then he should leave the conversation.
"Hi, Kayl. How are you feeling?"
"Doing ok. Saria says I can actually leave the barn in another day or two. I
can't wait."
"You can't walk, Kayl." Saria reminded him as she nodded to Edge's request for
relief. "I'll be here for a while, Edge, at least until Kix returns." She
turned back to Kayl. "We'll take your cot out with you on it. How about on the
porch? Does that sound good?"
"That will be great! When can I walk?"
"When I decide."
"A clue," he begged with a grin. "A hint?"
Crux watched Kayl; this was flirting. Maybe he'd ask Kayl for some hints.
"If your progress continues at this rate," she relented. "Three more days,
maybe four."
Saria smiled softly as she checked Dare. He was sleeping normally now, and on
his back. There was a bit of a small, whistling snore, but that was from the
opening of his lips rather than in the back in his throat. Jester had done a
good job with the break. He always did excellent work. Saria had wired Dare's
jaws, something she hadn't wanted to do, but it had been unavoidable. He'd have
a new scar on the back of his cheek, near his ear. She'd make sure he had wire
snips on hand at all times. Maybe in a few weeks, she could take out the wires
and replace with a flexband. That would allow some movement; including a bit of
talking softly and eating soft foods. She'd have to wait and see. She touched
her hand to his forehead and cheek, then a finger at the mastoid process and
ascending ramus, where the break had occurred. There was no heat, no fever. She
would keep him on antibiox for two more days. She noticed his eyes were open.
There was no haze of drugs or squint of pain, simply tiredness. "How do you
feel, Dare? Tilt your head to the side for good and bend forward…"
He tilted his head but added the shrug of one shoulder. She took that as
'mostly good' or maybe, simply 'better than before' or possibly 'as good as can
be expected'.
"Ok, for the next day, I don't want you to nod or shake your head. It's too
easy to forget and shake hard or nod and smack your chin into your chest.
Particularly with painkillers. That wouldn't be good. You can tilt for
affirmative, yes, good, positive and bend forward for negative, no, bad."
He relaxed, looked past her to Crux, sitting on a wooden chair and made a few
short gestures with his hand.
"Sure, Dare. I'll let her know."
Saria looked at Dare. "I think you've been holding out on me." She smiled. "I
just picked up that it might be easier to make your wishes known than I
originally thought." He looked in her eyes and tilted his head. His mouth
didn't move but his eyes seemed to smile. She smiled back and turned to Crux.
"He's hungry, for one thing. Thirsty too, dry mouth thirsty and a bit of a
headache, I think." He looked at Dare questioningly. Dare tilted his head to
one side. "Pretty smart, Dare. I'll go get some broth for you." Crux moved out
of the barn quickly.
Saria moved to her supplies and brought him water with a straw. "Much of the
headache and dry mouth is from the anesthesia. I have something to take care of
both as soon as you have about two good swallows of water." She watched him as
he sipped through the straw, nodded and set her fingers gently under his jaw,
around it, feeling. "Just another sip, please. Good, good." She murmured as she
felt the muscles of his throat and each side of his face. His jaw felt
straight, correctly aligned. He didn't wince and if that continued, she'd start
to worry about nerve damage, but for now, so close to his surgery, it was
probably anesthetic. She smiled and held up two little packets. "Muja flavored
or plain?" she offered. He took Muja-flavored and sprinkled it into his water
then made a hand gesture at Crux already back, standing there with a bowl of
broth.
"After soup, he says he'd like to sleep unless you want him up and out." Crux
chuckled. Kayl, watching, also laughed.
"No. Sleep is good. The surgery was harder on you than we anticipated. Your
surgery wasn't yesterday; it was the day before yesterday." Dare blinked in
surprise, looked at Crux who nodded, then finished the treated water. Crux
handed him the soup and Dare slowly started sipping it through the straw. Saria
turned to Crux. "Am I correct in assuming that you and he are stretching the
meaning of those signals?"
"Very much, ma'am." Crux smiled. "Sleep was 'maintain position', headache was
'enemy small arms fire', up and out was 'attack'.
Crux pulled a stool as well as a chair from against the wall. He sat in the
chair and set the stool in front of him, then gestured for Saria to sit. "I can
give you a massage while we visit Kayl."
She sat down and his firm fingers started working magic on the tight muscles of
her shoulders.
She dozed softly, leaning against his legs while he talked with Kayl, while his
fingers relaxed her shoulders and neck. He gently maneuvered her head forward
and began massaging her scalp. She gave a soft moan, barely cognizant of her
surroundings. Mentally she tried to figure out how many hours had passed since
she'd slept, since she'd eaten, since Jester had told her of the refugees. He
hadn't told her they were all his brothers, but she hadn't been surprised. Nor
was she surprised to discover she couldn't remember when she'd last slept or
eaten. She did remember when she'd moved out, remembered Cass Cjain's due date,
remembered the last time she and Jester had lovingly stayed in bed, laughing in
pleasure and giving each other massages. "Mmmm, that feels wonderful," she
murmured.
"Of course, it does." Crux's voice was so much like Jester's. "It's my way of
ensuring you'll look upon my proposal favorably." Saria recognized the joking
tone.
"You're not really going to propose, are you?" she mumbled softly.
"Well, I figured that a month of shoulder massages would work in my favor once
I actually got up the nerve to propose."
She chuckled. "They would if…" her voice paused.
"If?" asked Crux. She was silent. He shrugged, softly tilted her head back with
gentle fingers. She smiled and murmured something in her sleep.
"So, Kayl. Should I propose first or get my hug first?" Crux turned to Kayl,
softly massaging Saria's neck.
Kayl laughed. "Definitely the hug first. The proposal is just practice?"
"Not if she says 'yes'. I like her."
"She won't." Kayl was shaking his head with a frown. "She's good to flirt with,
but… it seems as though she's humoring us. I don't think she's serious about
any of us."
"The story of my life." Crux sighed with a smile as he looked down at sleeping
woman. "Other guys get women to swoon in their arms; women fall asleep in
mine."
"You've been watching too many holovids, Crux. Do you know anyone who's
actually had a woman swoon in his arms?"
"Well, now that you mention it…." muttered Crux.
                        ------------------------------
Jester came into the barn with both sets of crutches. Crux, Kix, Chopper, Edge
and Kayl were talking. Dare was asleep on his cot, shoulders and head supported
by several cushions.
"Where's Saria?" he asked.
Edge pointed towards the fresher.
Crux shook his head. "I'd given her a shoulder rub and she'd fallen asleep here
between my knees. Then, bam, she jumps up almost breaking my jaw and giving
herself a concussion. Staggers into her office, holding the top of her head
then comes out and headed toward the fresher. Less than five minutes ago." He
shook his head again. "I'm going to have to rethink this entire woman thing."
He tilted his head thoughtfully, "although the flirting was nice."
Jester looked up to see Saria, absently rubbing the top of her head. She had a
somewhat dazed look on her face. "I see you have the crutches, Jester. That's
great." She blinked several times just looking at him. He almost groaned in
frustration. He wanted to hug her so badly. He wanted to let her know he loved
her and he wanted to try to work this out, somehow.
She grabbed him by the elbow. "Let's go see Sketch. He'll want to try them
first thing, won't he?" She turned to Kix who was walking into the exam room
with Chopper.
Chopper was easy to identify. Besides his scars, he had a wry sense of humor,
asked lots of questions and had the clearest body language Saria had ever seen.
"We may be a while, Kix, but I'll be in the house if there's an emergency. I
know you can handle anything that happens."
"I'll be doing preliminary with Chopper." His eyes smiled at her. "He would
like his physical done."
Saria grinned. "That's delightful. Good for you, Chopper." She called a little
louder.
"If I pass, ma'am,." rang out from the exam room.
"Ok, then Edge you're in charge. Don't let the patients bully you." She glanced
at Jester, smiling. He was surprised and almost smiled back. "We'll be at the
house fitting crutches for Sketch.
"No, Saria," Edge answered, his blue eyes watching her and Jester.  "I can
manage." He looked at Crux. "I'll send Crux if anything occurs." Crux nodded
his agreement.
"Good, good." Saria waved absently, pulling Jester toward the house.
She had him by the arm, the closest she'd been to him in two months and twelve
days; a very busy two months and twelve days. She smiled. He felt so good by
her side.
He caught her smile. It twisted his heart. "You were flirting with Crux?"
She stopped and looked at him. "Please Jester, I know you don't share. I know
you believe that I'm having an affair with Dr. Chymdura. I know that Cass
Cjain's pregnant. But, today, I would just like to be in a good mood. Let's not
discuss any of that." She glanced down to the ground. "Please. Let's at least
pretend to be friends."
"I don't have to pretend, Saria. I am hurt, but I will not give up on your
friendship. I was only asking about Crux because he wanted to learn how to
flirt. He's not serious at this time."
"I did pick up on that. He said it would be a month before he proposed."
He opened the door for her.
Sketch was sitting on the bench at the table and saw them as they entered the
room. His leg had warm kitchen towels and a blanket on it.
"Heya, Sketch. We've brought you a gift." Jester held the crutches up."
Saria saw a grin slowly form on the man's face. It was one of the most open,
honest, innocent expressions she'd ever seen.
There was no guile in the man at all. Sketch held out his arm for his brother
to clasp and then his hand for Saria, smiling at her and watching her face with
amber-brown eyes. He was so obviously pleased to meet her. Around him were
various pencils, charcoal, flimsi pages and actual art paper, slightly yellowed
from age and dusty from storage. She only caught a glimpse of the art already
done on the table, but it showed a dedicated artist.
"That's great, Jester. You must be Saria. Please have a seat." Sketch laughed,
pleasure shining from his face at his visitors. "I'll offer you something to
drink, but you'll have to get it yourself." Saria sat next to him and a soft
pink shade colored his cheeks. Jester laughed and sat across from them.
"I've heard a lot about you, Sketch." Saria smiled back. "I am very glad to
finally meet you, glad that you're here, glad you're free."
"I'm glad to be here too. As free as I can be with my leg like this." He gently
touched his leg, covered by the blanket and hot towels.
"We're here to bring you a bit more freedom." She said. "First, I'd like to
know how much pain you're in and how much you think you can manage crutches."
Sketch thought about that, his brows contracting over his eyes. "Pain is
usually constant. Kix says it's due to bone on bone contact. It's mostly
centered around my knee. There is more bone contact around my ankle, also
painful." He shrugged. "It’s chronic and I've gotten as use to it as possible."
Saria nodded.
"I also get muscle spasm when my leg gets cold." Sketch frowned. "Those are
really bad."
"How bad are they?"
He frowned, his lips twisting in remembered pain. "Puking bad."
"Tell me what happened, in order." She knew this wouldn't be easy for him.
"They hamstrung me. About three years ago. Cutting the tendons on the back of
my knee. Then twisted my leg in toward the center of my body as far as it would
go. Then further." His face went both grim and sorrowful.
Jester stood up and gesture her to stand. He sat next to Sketch and put his
forehead on Sketch's arm and his arm around Sketch's shoulder. Saria sat across
from them.
"Then further until I was screaming in agony, just screaming non-stop and a
trooper brought his boot down on my knee. I passed out. When I came to it was
to agony in my knee and my foot was facing backwards."
Saria noticed his hands were shaking. She softly took one of his hands in hers.
Sketched grabbed her fingers, then relaxed his grip. He swallowed and looked
down, then leaned into Jester's solidness.
"Kix wasn't there. We didn't have a medic. A couple of weeks later, they came
and got me again, saying they were going to straighten out my foot. I knew
enough to be terrified. They cut a circle around my ankle, all the tendons
there. They twisted my ankle outward until my foot was forward again. Then they
kept on twisting, kept on twisting. Without supporting the knee either, so that
was twisting back as well. It was only half-healed, so it shattered again when
they turned it. I hit pain that I hadn't even contemplated before. Heard bone
scraping bone in my knee. I offered them all the information I knew, they
weren't asking questions. Each time I passed out, they waited for me. When that
pain was intolerable they..." Sketch frowned and his eyebrows drew down, he
pulled his hands to himself and gestured, "Ripped my foot upward so the sole of
my foot was facing forward." He gave a sad laugh. "You'll see when you look."
She nodded, mentally cataloguing what was likely to have been broken and torn:
hamstringing – the two large tendons in the back of the knee, quadriceps
tendon, medial collateral ligament, patellar tendon, lateral collateral
ligament, anterior cruciate ligament, posterior cruciate ligament. What she was
likely to be able to repair: the two talofibular ligaments, the
calcaneofibular, ligament, the two tibiofibular ligaments, the big tendon in
the back of the ankle.
"I'd like to see your leg, now. If I may." He nodded and, with Jester's help
made it to the chair by his cot.
"Did they break your ankle?" She asked as she knelt in front of him, her eyes
taking in the damage of his leg, the way some muscles twisted wrong.
"No. Just the popping and twisting, but maybe it broke.  They didn't use their
boots." Sketch replied. She nodded absently as her fingers explored his ankle.
Her fingers moved to his knee, gently stroking up the twisted muscles of his
lower leg. They weren't right, shifting, unattached. She could feel the patella
on the inside of his knee – where the medial collateral ligament should be,
could feel the distal and lateral condyles too far from each other and from the
femur to still be attached; an extra bone that might be from the head of the
tibia. Something else, she had no idea what.
He was pale, after her examination, as he adjusted the warm towels on his leg.
Jester brought the towels, and then brought them both a glass of cold, sweet
juice. He stood at the little entryway between kitchen and where they were
sitting, guarding their privacy.
Saria sat back on her haunches, looking up, into Sketch's face. She rarely seen
such damage, and never intentionally inflicted. "You have a serious injury,
Sketch. Your leg will never be the same as it was before the injury. Even with
extensive surgery and a bacta tank you would never be the same."
Sketch nodded. He hadn't been optimistic. He stared into the glass of juice,
watching the surface swirl, glisten, as he moved the glass.
Saria set her glass on the small table, tapping it with her fingers, staring
into space, thinking. "A bacta tank merely provides healing of tissue. It is
the surgery which corrects the actual damage. I can do the ankle myself." She
looked at him, caught his eyes. "Here in fact. It was not shattered like the
knee and is a matter of re-attaching or repairing the ligaments and muscles.
The remainder, your knee, the muscles that attach to the various parts of the
knee, would be a series of surgeries, Sketch. For your leg, the word
'extensive' doesn't begin to cover it." She shook her head. "I can't do your
knee. That's beyond my expertise."
He blinked and his mouth dropped open. A look of hope crossed his face, and
then his forehead wrinkled. "I have no means of paying."
"Let's make that a concern for later. The more immediate concern is this is not
quick healing surgery. This is not something that you have the surgery, put on
a bandage and you're healed in a few weeks." She looked into his amber-brown
eyes. "Or a couple of months."
"What time frame would I be looking at, Saria?"
"A year and a half. And that's without any complications."
Sketch looked down at her and she smiled at his expression. He'd already
decided; his only concern now was finding some way of paying. Jester sucked in
a hissing breath, mentally calculating credits he had access to. He'd give
everything he had for his brother to walk alongside him again.
"That's a long time." Saria continued. "The good news is that, done correctly,
you'd have no pain almost immediately after surgery." She spoke softly. "I'm
sorry I can't do the knee. I know that hurts so much more."
Sketch nodded and rubbed her hand softly. "I know."
"The 35 klick runs would take two years to materialize and you'd never have the
speed you use to have." Saria laughed softly.
"Two hours," Sketch smiled.
"That fast?" she asked, suddenly brought to another matter entirely. Jester
caught her eyes, nodded softly and looked terribly sad.
Sketch simply nodded. "That's the standard. These days, I'm a lot slower."
"You'd probably have a permanent limp." Saria took a drink of her juice.
"However, your leg will be better than it is now, and you will adapt. Your
recovery is more related to your brain's ability to adapt than your leg's
ability to bend, flex, walk."
"I'll want to do the surgery. Surgeries. I don't know how I'll pay, but…"
Sketch hesitated. Then his lips became firm. "That will get done, Saria. I
promise you." She stood, noticed Jester nodding, looking at her.
"We'll discuss that later. For right now, though…" she smiled and pulled the
long crutches from where Jester had set them. "Try these, Sketch."
Jester helped him stand and Saria adjusted the crutches to his height
then showed him how to use them correctly. "I'm sure you can use the forearm
crutches as well. You seem to have the arm and chest strength."
He grinned at her. "Maybe you'll find out when I give you a hug."
Saria blushed. "I want you to practice with both for the next day or so. For
long term, the forearm crutches are usually better. The long crutches are
easier to use. Stairs are a no go. Avoid slippery surfaces. Do not use the
crutches in the early morning here. It's extremely slippery on the wet grass.
Don't slouch on your crutches. That will pinch some nerves in your arm and
hand." She gestured to his drawings and shook her head. "You don't want that."
"No, ma'am." He was shaking his head emphatically about that.
"For the first couple of days I'd like you to have someone with you. Make sure
you keep your leg warm, don't overdo it."
He was one of Jester's brothers. Of course, he was going to overdo it. "And
when you do overdo it …."
Sketch nodded with a grin. Jester laughed.
"I'll leave you enough pain medication for three days. Now go and have some
fun." Sketch laughed, moved next to her and set both crutches in one hand; he
put his arm around her and gave her the promised hug, bending his head into her
neck. He did have the strength in his arms. "Thank you."
"Jester," she gasped, slightly out of breath.  "Would you help him practice?"
Jester smiled at her. "Yes, Saria. Thank you."
Saria, smiled, her heart content as watched the two brothers move out of the
kitchen into the open back yard.
                                 Ahsoka Returns
The night was silver-bright with both moons full. The stars were dim, at best,
and it was late for the light bugs though a few still flickered. Down the hill
Rex heard a few men still at the thermal pool. He smiled; he'd known that would
be a popular choice of the men. The water was wonderfully warm, verging on too
hot in some areas. Cut and Jester had found a cave with a narrow entrance on
the property. The cave opened into a large galley of sand-covered soil with the
hot water pool at one end. They'd opened up the entrance of the cave and
diverted a nearby, cold-water creek towards the lower portion of the pool
making a gradient of temperatures as well as a gradient of depth. It had been a
lot of work and the first improvement Cut had made that wasn't necessary. The
hot, turquoise water was an absolute luxury.
If Ahsoka arrived tonight then they'd have some more supplies to hand out to
the men; razors, combs, nail clips, soap, shampoo, tooth wash. No one
complained, but he'd seen several men rubbing their hands against the stubble
of their chins, deciding to grow their hair for lack of any other option. Now
they'd have the option, another small choice to make, and would appreciate the
hot water of the pool when it came time to shave. Cut has said there was a
downhill current at the west end of the pool.
If Ahsoka arrived tonight, they'd triple their cold storage and have plenty of
protein, mostly in the form of nerf and bantha steaks as well as more eggs and
blue milk. There were nunas on the farm, but not enough to supply for all the
extra troopers. They wouldn't have to make a food run for several weeks.
If Ahsoka arrived tonight, that would be good news. It would mean there'd been
no sign of Imperials in the sector. No one searching for escaped troopers. At
the meeting of the first night, he had neither ordered nor requested any men
for guard watch. He wanted them to learn, to think for themselves; though he
and Cut were prepared for guard duty. Several men had come and, in various
ways, volunteered. He'd learned that others had simply set up their own guards.
It was habit, but by deciding, it also became choice. It was something he and
Echo didn't have to worry about anymore.
If Ahsoka arrived tonight... Rex draped his head back against the tree with a
smile. He missed her. Her voice, her ideas, the wonderful way she kissed him.
He missed her smiles, her laugh, her serious look melting into something softer
for him. If Ahsoka arrived tonight, he'd grab her and carry her to the bed in
the cabin and ravage her lips with kisses. He'd run his hands over her body
until she couldn't stand it and pushed him onto his back, mounting him. He made
a soft noise in the back of this throat.
Echo chuckled and Rex opened one eye. "If I were still a captain…" he
threatened.
"You wouldn't be waiting so eagerly for our wives to return," retorted Echo
with a grin.
Rex sighed. "There is that." He took a moment to stretch his muscles so they
didn't get stiff. He looked toward the farm, the barn. He could make out the
faint glow of fire at Jester's camp. "We did good, Echo."
"I'm still amazed, Rex. I don't even want to talk about it so I don't jinx it."
Echo's brows drew down in worry, silently asking Rex.
"Understood, brother." For a moment all was quiet and Rex realized the last men
must have left the pool. He glanced toward the house and the barn. The soft
yellow lights were turned off. Everyone was asleep. He smiled. Sketch was in
there, his leg bundled against a warm wall.
"Did you see Sketch's face?" he asked Echo with a smile.
"Yes, a lot of different expressions." Rex heard the smile in Echo's voice. "I
think he was worried we'd toss him out mid-space as soon as we saw his leg
wasn't fixable." Rex heard a sigh from Echo, and interpreted it as concern for
Sketch then Echo chuckled. "Did you see the way Suu and the girls were
cosseting him?"
Rex chuckled. "And Sula and Saoha, giving him a hug or kiss, stroking his
shoulder anytime they walked by. Letting him hold the baby." His voice softened
as he bit his lips. He couldn't do that; he still had those fears of losing
Barin.
"At the meeting you were talking," continued Echo. "But when you said 'family',
his face just relaxed into a big smile. He's still worried, but now it's not
about being discarded, it's more about what he can do for his family. I think
he'll stay on Saleucami."
"It's early yet, Echo. I wouldn't go making any bets." He saw an unusual light
in the sky and pointed it out for Echo. "Do you think that's the ship?" By the
time he finished the sentence they both knew it was and were standing, shaking
the leaves and grass off themselves. By its flight path, they knew it was safe.
The ship's doorway opened. Rex and Echo moved toward it, even as they saw the
shadows of their wives in the ship's light. Rex swallowed. Ahsoka was
beautiful, Aureki was beautiful. He was an enormously lucky man to have two
wonderful wives. He glanced towards Echo who also smiled for the women and then
glanced towards Rex.
"We are two of the luckiest men in Outer Rim."
Echo nodded with his own answering grin. By chance Echo reached Ahsoka and
grabbed her with a laugh and a kiss.
Rex grabbed Aureki and kissed her deeply, closed his eyes and ran his face into
her neck and lekku. She always smelled so wonderfully spicy-sweet. He growled
softly as she nuzzled his ears. Tonight he'd had Ahsoka in his thoughts, but he
wouldn't be disappointed if Echo called first husband rights. Rex had been
right in that his heart could grow. He took another deep sniff. There was a
difference.
"Is second wife wearing perfume?" he asked. That was unusual for most Togruta.
"Do you like my scent?" she asked softly.
He opened his eyes, then closed them and, again, took a deep inhale at the
junction of her neck, her shoulder, her lekku.
"It's softer." He said. "Less spicy. More like Ahsoka." That should have told
him. Rex let himself drift into that scent. He felt protective. Aureki was his
in a way that even Ahsoka could never be. Aureki needed him. "Yes, Aureki, I
like it. What is it?"
"Your child." She answered softly. He froze and felt the need to push her away,
away from the invisible blood on his hands, push her away to protect her from
him, his past. She had loosened her hands, for him to do so, if he wished. He
forced his arm to keep hold of her, forced his fingers to caress her face but
his smile was unforced. His fingers trembled but havingseen the effect of his
nightmares and knowing their cause, she understood.
"I am happy, Aureki. Do not let my fear make you think I'm not."
"I know you are." She softly touched his face. "Ahsoka has felt this child to
be a healthy girl." She laughed softly. "I am happy, Rex. I am married to
stubborn, headblind warriors, I have a dearly loved sister, I have a son of her
body and I will have a daughter of my own body and I am happy beyond words."
Aureki glowed with happiness and Rex realized he should have known when he saw
her. "You are beautiful, Aureki. More beautiful here in the moonlight than I
have ever seen you." Again, he ran his nose along her neck, breathing in that
perfume, memorizing it. Knowing it for what it was. The changes his child was
making to her body.
He picked her up and carried her back into the ship, where his family would be
staying while on Saleucami. He loved those words, 'his family'. This was the
core of his family, surrounded by others, Fives, Jester, Sula, Saoha, the
unnamed infant, Cut and Suu, Shaeeah, Jek. They, in turn, surrounded by his
larger family of brothers. He shot a look toward Echo who had a dazed, pleased
look on his face.
"So, first wife has told you that second wife is having second husband's
child?" Sometimes Rex preferred using the formal kin titles of Shili. It was
like a protective talisman, as if the universe could not identify 'Rex' with
second husband, and could not punish his family for Rex's transgressions in the
Jedi Tower.
Echo simply grinned, nodded and picked up a protesting Ahsoka in his arms.
"Stop that first wife," he mock-threatened. "Or there'll be no kisses until
tomorrow."
Rex laughed. "It is tomorrow, Echo."
"It is?" said Echo as he turned a wicked grin to Ahsoka. "Then I'd better start
kissing." He suited action to word and Ahsoka ceased all protestation.
Rex watched them, Aureki in his arms. He could feel himself getting hard as he
watched his brother kiss their wife. Was this what it felt like when two
brothers shared? He could tell Ahsoka enjoyed Echo's kisses, could tell Echo
was getting aroused from how those kisses changed, from his grip on her body.
He didn't feel even the slightest twitch of jealousy as Echo kissed the first
woman both men had ever loved. He could enjoy the pleasure in her face as Echo
nuzzled her; as though it were pleasure Rex were giving her.
He looked at Aureki with a smile. "Is that what you see when Ahsoka kisses us?
Do you take pleasure when she gives us pleasure? Have you no jealousy?" His
voice was soft in wonderment.
She looked into his eyes and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "Rex, what is
jealousy?" she asked softly. He laughed and shook his head. "Not tonight. No
philosophical discussions tonight. To bed, my wife."
Before he fell asleep, Rex moved into the galley, contented and relaxed. It
wasn't long before Echo joined him, a smile on his face. Silently, they moved
into their cabins, Rex with Ahsoka, Echo with Aureki. It pained him, especially
tonight when he would have liked to cradle her in his arms. But he wouldn't
chance injuring Aureki with his reaction to his night terrors. He could kill
her before he woke and that wasn't a danger with Force-sensitive, Jedi-trained
Ahsoka.
                                 Fourth Morning
Rex stretched with a smile and a pleased, relaxed body. He rolled to find
Ahsoka at his side with her own eyes opened and a purr of early morning
relaxation in her throat. He took her in his arms and pulled her next to his
body.
"I am so lucky, Ahsoka." He whispered. "So lucky to have married you and
Aureki. So lucky to have Echo as my brother, Barin as my son. So lucky to have
two children coming to our family." He put his head on hers, rubbed her lekku
with his cheek. "Is there a price for all this good fortune? Something I'll
have to pay?"
"Whatever price there is, you have paid it," she said. "You have paid it in
sorrow and pain. You have paid it in every decision you made, in every decision
you will ever make. You have paid it in nightmares and you have paid it in what
you have given to others."
He nodded, kissed her. She moved closer, pressed her pelvis against him, her
breasts against his chest. Her eyes were half-closed in lust as she pressed her
lips against his, sucking on his lower lip, flicking her tongue softly between
his lips. He needed no further encouragement. He groaned in lust as his hands
flowed down her back, cupped her cheeks; he held her against him and rolled
onto his back with her on him.
"Eager, this morning, Rex?" She asked huskily.
Her words were intoxicating and he groaned again. "Yes, Ahsoka. I'm eager." He
trembled with lust as she touched him with her hand then mounted him. "You feel
so good, my wife, my love. Ahsoka," he whispered. He'd never been so hard, so
wanting her, so drowning in her body, so needful of her flesh. He bit his lip;
already he was rocking back, growling deep in his throat, in ecstasy. "Ahsoka."
It was a harsh whisper ripped from his throat and he closed his eyes as that
heaven engulfed him.
He could feel her breath, soft on his face. He opened his eyes, his breathing
still rapid. "I'm sorry, Ahsoka. I don't know I would be so fast."
"It was very intoxicating, Rex. Please don't be sorry. I liked it."
"But you didn't come."
She tilted her head. "In a way, I'm glad I didn't."
Rex frowned. "Why?"
"I would have missed it." She said, her voice soft and low and loving.
Rex thought about that for a moment, then shook his head. "Have I ever
mentioned that females are the strangest creatures I have ever had the good
fortune to come across?" He grinned and kissed her. "I don't think I could
manage again for a few minutes, but would you like to try?"
"Tonight, Rex. We have meetings, chores. Echo already stuck his head in and
asked if we wanted breakfast in bed." She answered with a kiss on his bare
shoulder.
"Echo came in?" Rex said with shock. "I didn't wake up?"
Ahsoka shook her head. "If you hadn't woken up in such…" her eyes glittered
with her smile, "an eager mood, I was going to take you down to the med barn.
You've never slept through anyone speaking. Especially in a whisper." Her eyes
narrowed. "When was the last time you got any sleep?"
She frowned as he didn't answer; his eyes upward as he tried to count the days.
She was pulling on the cotton pants and sleeveless shirt she wore on Shili. Her
own pregnancy, by Echo, was only a barely noticed softness in her belly. He
smiled, got up and started dressing, stopping frequently to kiss her wherever
he could reach.
There was always caf at the back of the house. But today there was more than
just the caf. Shaeeah and Numa were laughing as they piled heaps of fluffy,
golden egg on each man's plate. Suu and Aureki were scrambling the eggs and
toasting home-made bread slices on a metal plate over an open fire and Rex's
nose itched at the delicious scent. Suu and Aureki had never met before, but
they laughed, talked and served food as if they'd been doing it together for
years. Two of his brothers, Checkout and Backup, both gunship pilots, were
helping with the eggs, stirring them in bowls.
Jek and Fives, laughing, were playing with Barin and Keeli who ran, hiding
behind men and climbing over their laps. Rex's face seemed to blaze in
wonderment at his son who saw him and came running for a hug. Rex bent to his
knees for his son.
"Look da, they're like you and Echo." Barin laughed, gave Rex a quick grasp
around his neck then ran back to the game.
Sula was nursing the infant, a shawl over her shoulder and the baby's head to
avoid the men's embarrassment. Sitting next to her was Saoha; enticing two of
the wounded, the battered Riposte and Kaver, his arm in a sling, to eat.
Cody, his plate empty, a cup of caf warming his hands, was talking with Cut and
Echo. They motioned him over. Ahsoka sat near Cody, her face somber as she
touched his wrist with the double-wrapped beads around it.
"Barriss?" she asked softly and he nodded, his eyes sad. She gave him a quick
hug. "I am so sorry."
"We've already got some people interested in getting debriefed, Rex," said Cut.
"Cody says he'll probably finish you today so shall we meet tonight at the
house?"
"What about Sketch?" Rex really didn't mind if Sketch heard their thoughts.
They'd already determined that if any man asked, he could sit at their
meetings. All it would tell them was how uncertain the entire process was. But
he didn't want someone there until he had asked.
"Jester and some others are going to take him to the pool this evening. He's
still getting use to those crutches Saria got him, but if there's any problem,
Kix will be there."
Rex looked out over the men. "I don't see him. Or Jester."
"He was in the house," replied Cut. "I think he overdid it yesterday. Jester's
around, he was first at breakfast." Cut took a drink of his caf. "Col is
finishing up his physical today and Sula will be talking to him this
afternoon." Cut grinned. "I don't think he's going to have any trouble passing
either of those."
Echo grinned. "He's got his reasons. They were good enough for me so I traded
my debrief. Chopper's already cleared on his physical. First one to ask."
Fives sat down by Echo, laughing and slightly out of breath after chasing
Keeli, Barin and Jek. He held the squirming toddler in his lap and Rex felt a
moment's jealousy. "Chopper asked if he could have my debrief. Since he
asked…." Fives shrugged, letting the sentence fade.
Rex nodded. They'd decided to encourage asking, to encouraging making
decisions, to encourage questioning, that anything of that nature would be
rewarded as best as possible. He didn't know if Chopper could pass the psyc. "I
haven't had a chance to talk to Chopper since the escape. I'd like to."
Echo laughed softly as he chewed some toast. "You haven't had the time to do
most of what you have been doing, Rex. I've held you down and convinced you
that you, me, everyone should be debriefed. I've convinced you that this should
be family, not just the troopers. So, now I'm going to convince you that you
will be going to the thermal pool tonight with me, Ahsoka, Aureki, and Barin.
Our slot is right after Kix and Sketch. The meeting will not go on that long."
"That's just big, bad, ARC-training talk," Rex laughed. "Trying to convince me
to do something I've already decided on. I'll be there."
"No work," warned Echo.
Rex shrugged. Echo sighed and rolled his eyes. "Ok, a little work."
Ahsoka nudged Rex in the ribs softly and he glanced up to see Chopper coming to
breakfast. Most of the scars on his face had faded, but in prison, some had
been cruelly re-cut and were still red, particularly the ones on his face. He
had a slight smile on his face and he was growing his hair. It was barely
beyond stubble, but it was more than the growth of a week so it was something
he had decided in prison. He strode to Boil's side and put a hand on his
shoulder, spoke a few words to that small group. He grinned and waved to Jek
who waved back as he chased Barin. He took his plate to the fire where Aureki
served him some scrambled eggs. Chopper spoke with her for a few seconds,
saying something to make her smile and Suu laugh. He looked around and,
noticing their group, made his way over to them. For a moment he stood,
undecided, then swiftly sat next to Ahsoka and began eating his eggs.
Rex was surprised and his eyebrows rose in question. Most of the troopers
considered them a command group and didn't interrupt them. He noted that
Ahsoka's lips twitched in amusement.
"Morning, Chopper," said Echo.
"Morning, Echo. Morning all," nodded Chopper, keeping his head down so he
wouldn't see any unspoken message to leave. "Mmm, these eggs are great. And the
toast... spectacular. Cut, I have to say, you'll never get rid of us if you
keep feeding us this well."
"The more the merrier, that's what I say," Cut had a soft grin as he watched
the trooper quickly eat his eggs.
"I thought it was 'to each his own', Cut," joked Rex of so long ago.
"I say a lot of things," Cut replied with a smile. "Whatever fits the
situation."
Echo brought them back to business. "I think Col will be the first to ask to
leave. He wants to go to Dantooine." Echo turned to Chopper. "What about you,
Chopper? You seem to be wanting to get your debrief done pretty quick."
Chopper looked up, if they had wanted him to leave, they would have said so by
now, and smiled. "Yeah, I'm looking for a planet where beautiful women
outnumber the men a thousand to one. Haven't found it yet, so I'll be sticking
around for a time." He took a last bite of egg then wiped his plate clean with
the toast. "Besides, no telling how many times I'll have to go through psyc, so
I might as well get started early."
Ahsoka looked at him. "Just once, I think, Chopper."
He blushed, dropped his head, embarrassed for an instant, looked for something
to divert them and held up his plate. "I picked this plate because it has that
blue rim." He smiled at Rex. "The same blue as the 501st colors. I always did
like that blue."
"Me too, Chopper," smiled Rex.
Chopper looked them over, suddenly serious. "When I'm cleared, I want to be
included in your meetings. I want to be able to tell the men what you're
thinking about, how things are going. Cody, you'll understand. In prison they
kept information from us. They'd lie about something, about almost everything.
It made us weak. I don't think it’s right to do that to our brothers." He
paused. "If you don't include me, I'll do my best to find out what's going on.
I will become a nuisance, I'm sure."
Cody chuckled. "Can't have that, can we?" He glanced up. Suu was there, her
apron tossed over her shoulder.
"Aureki and the girls have everything under control. Our two gunship pilots now
know not to try to juggle eggs." Cody's eyebrows rose and Suu smiled. So that's
why Checkout and Backup had been helping.
Rex sighed. "Yes on joining us, Chopper. Starting now, no need for being
cleared. None of us have a problem with that."
Chopper leaned back, surprised at not having to back up his thoughts. He'd
prepared a good argument. "Oh."
"But, Chopper," Ahsoka began. "We don't want you telling everyone everything.
Part of learning to deal with civilian life is uncertainty. It's also learning
to make decisions, ask questions. We want them to asked questions. And they
won't ask if you're telling them everything."
Chopper brows drew into a frown.
Suu spoke up. "Chopper, you picked your plate because of the blue. If you can
find five more men who picked their plate for a reason instead of picking the
nearest one, you can tell them everything you want out of the meetings."
He looked at her face, glanced around to everyone one. She seemed as in command
as Cody or Rex. No one appeared to gainsay or negate her words. He remembered
how she had threatened Checkout and Backup with their own cooking. Chopper
nodded. "If I find five, I can tell all the men or just the ones I find."
Suu smiled. "All the men, if you prefer. We will leave it to your discretion."
He looked hard at her, and then shook his head. "Alright. I've lost already,
haven't I? You tell me. You were watching, weren't you? Besides me, how many
picked instead of just taking what was next?"
"You. Sketch, but he was encouraged by Shaeeah and Numa asking him for his
choices. Kaver. He was there when Numa and Shaeeah were discussing the choice
for Sketch. He seemed struck by lightning and lifted five plates to take the
sixth. It didn't seem as though he were taking a particular plate, rather that
he was making a choice to make a choice." She sat next to Cut, leaned against
him as his arm came around her. "You would have asked better for the bedrolls.
Several men chose instead of taking the next in line. They chose by feel, by
running their hands over the side of the blankets." She nodded. "Like you did,
though you were the only one to pull out three and check the patterns."
He got a sorrowful look on his face. "Are we that broken? Are we that far from
being men?" he asked softly.
Suu looked at him with a kind expression on her face. "No. Not far at all." Her
lips quivered. "Ask Rex or Echo or even my own dear Cut why they chose the
plate they did."
Chopper looked at Rex who laughed. "Yes, Chopper, I picked it up because it was
on top. I didn't make a conscious choice any more than most everyone here."
Cut chuckled, nodding. "Same."
"Plates are nothing, Chopper." Suu continued. "It is the decision that is
important. Consciously deliberating and making a choice. You chose the blue
because you like the color. One man wanted purple, I could tell by the way he
looked at a particular plate. Yet he took the one on top. He did not even make
the decision to take to one on top. He simply took it from habit. Kaver did not
take a plate he wanted, merely one that was different from the norm.
Experimenting, I think, to make sure the sky would not fall if he made a
decision."
Chopper nodded, his brows furrowed as he thought. "I think I understand what
you're trying to do. I don't think it will work. We're clones. We work best
with orders. We'll … flounder … without directions." He shook his head.
"We're not going for best, Chopper. Perfection is only something to aim at.
We're going for practicality." Cody's voice was firm, his command voice.
"And if that doesn't happen, for some of the men?" Chopper asked.
"This is their home," smiled Cut. "For the men who chose not to leave, for the
men who make no choice. Even for the men who do leave. I want them to know they
can come back."
Chopper ducked his head, not wanting them to see his tears. He felt a hand on
his shoulder and glanced up to see Suu offering comfort. "I'm crying for your
kindness." He said.
"As for telling the others," she touched his shoulder. "That is at your
discretion. That will always be at your discretion."
Chopper frowned, suddenly aware, suddenly with a glimmer of what this all
meant. "Thank you."
                                     Saria
It was a beautiful morning. The morning was cool but would warm in the mild
sunlight that bathed Saleucami. Saria leaned against the med barn door with a
scarf over her shoulders. It almost sounded like a party in the back yard. She
smiled.
Riposte, Kaver and Edge had gone to breakfast. Dare had gone with them, his
eyes forlorn. He'd already had his breakfast, some nutritionally adequate
protein liquid, but he had asked if he could have caf and Saria told him he
could have a single cup today. He had smelled Kayl's breakfast when Edge
brought it in.
Saria caught sight of Jester. He was running to the house in that graceful
lope, an alert expression on his face. Seeing her at the med barn door, he gave
her a wave as he took the porch steps in a single leap. She smiled and gave him
a wave back.
"Kix, I'll be checking on Sketch. I suspect he overdid it yesterday." Saria
hung the scarf on one of the wooden pegs by the door and turned to gather a few
things she'd need.
Kix laughed. "That's a sure thing." He picked up Kayl's empty plate with the
fork and set them on the table also. He had a few flimsi pages in his hand.
"Col will be coming for his physical results. Chopper's was good yesterday and
Col's is very similar; both following what I would have calculated after a long
confinement. A few deficiencies that will correct themselves with proper diet,
but I suspect that will be about it for most of the men."
"That's good. I'm sure most of the men will be doing the physical first." Saria
pulled her kit together. "Kayl can go out when Edge comes back. Riposte can
help with the cot. Physically, he's doing fine."
"Same for Dare?" Kit asked. "I think he'll want to go out and explore camp
also."
"Make sure he's with someone who'll keep an eye on him. Edge would be best.
Dare only thinks he's fine. Surgery like that takes a lot out of you and, after
what's happened to him, I do not want him passing out and hitting the ground."
She moved out of the barn to the house.
Sketch hadn't gotten out of his cot. He had his forearm over his eyes. "I'll be
up in just a moment," he was saying as Saria entered the house.
Jester was sitting in the chair by the cot, a little worried. He glanced up to
see Saria. He gave her a smile; tentative, hesitant, questioning. She smiled
back softly, her eyes going to Sketch.
"Told you she'd be here, Sketch. Do you want him sitting, Saria or as is."
Jester touched Sketch on his shoulder and Sketch moved his forearm to look at
her. He actually had the grace to blush.
"For the moment, as is. Jester, will you get…"
"Hot towels? Already on his leg."
Saria nodded absently as her attention moved to Sketch.
Jester watched her. She was always there for her patients. She'd been there for
him; when he had nightmares, when he remembered bad times like the Temple, when
only her presence made everything all right. They ha'd talked about her
training with Chymdura and he had agreed. He'd thought it was a great idea.
There'd been no mention of sharing then.
"Good. Any muscle spasms, Sketch." Her voice was warm and she smiled. Jester
remember when she always been smiling at him. Laughing or turning her sparkling
green eyes in his direction with some private joke they shared. He shoved that
down into his heart.
Embarrassed, Sketch nodded. "Two. But not bad." Jester frowned. They'd been bad
enough that Sketch had grabbed Jester's arm, leaving bruises, bad enough that
Sketch had leaned, pale and shaking, against a tree.
She smiled, her eyes crinkling. "Worth it?"
Sketch smiled. "Yes. I really appreciate the crutches. It hurts but no worse
than the regular hurting. I can get around. And that's wonderful."
"What kind of hurt?" she asked, the smile fading into thought.
"Right now? Overdoing it." He grinned wryly and ducked his head, embarrassed.
"Are you going to overdo it again?" she asked, reaching out an arm to help him
sit up. He took it and, with Jester's help, sat on the cot. Her hands took his
leg and gently moved it off the cot as he sat. He blushed, winced, and pulled a
coverlet over him.
"Probably." He smiled as he ducked his head. Jester chuckled and Saria laughed.
Her fingers traced over his leg; the crooked knee, the twisted muscles, the
scars, the upturned foot. She glanced at his face and caught a look of profound
sadness as he contemplated his leg. The mourning of a man for something he
would never have again.
"Kix tells me you're going to the thermal pool tonight. Have a good time. And
I'll see you tomorrow morning. With a lecture I've been saving up."
Sketch laughed.
Jester smiled as he grabbed Jester's clothes to help him dress. Maybe he could
have shared if she'd chosen his brother. Maybe he could have learned to share
if she'd chosen Sketch.
Saria stood and went into the kitchen so Sketch could dress in privacy. Rex was
there and Saria stiffened. He gave her a nod.
"I was in a rotten mood yesterday." He said as apology, pouring a glass of
juice. "I'd like to continue that conversation. I promise to be more civil. He
handed her the glass then poured one for himself, leaning against the sink
counter
"I take it Ahsoka and Aureki arrived." She asked.
He looked down, an embarrassed smile playing around his lips. He nodded. "In
the wee hours of morning. All news is good; no sign of Imperials and we're
fully stocked for several weeks."
"It would explain your much better mood." She smiled. "You've been doing an
enormous amount of work, Rex. I knew it was mostly lack of sleep talking. I'm
sorry I met your temper with my own."
She took another sip as Jester and Sketch came into the kitchen on the way out
back, where there were no steps. Sketch was laughing as he stiffly swung his
body on the crutches. Rex moved aside for them with a hand on Sketch's
shoulder, then a pat on Jester's back. Sketch stopped in front of Saria, gave
her a quick kiss on the cheek and then continued out the door. Jester, right
behind him, quickly smiled at her.
"That was kind of you, Saria. The crutches, checking on him today. I heard that
you offered surgery." Rex said.
She shrugged a shoulder. "That's the reason I went into medicine." She looked
at him. "And it's not kindness. It's power. It's knowing that I can do that;
bring that kind of expression to someone's face." She took a sip of the juice
he'd given her. "Sketch said he like to rebuild his stamina and get use to the
crutches before I do the surgery on his ankle. Probably next week. The knee,"
she shook her head. "I can't do. Jester volunteered his house for Sketch's
comfort, if he wants and there's a small room there suitable for the
operation." She frowned then glanced at the door.  "You saw him, Rex. Jester's
not broken. He just doesn't care about me." She finished the juice. "I just
wish he hadn't…" she frowned. "I don't know." Soft tears rolled down her
cheeks. "Maybe if he'd just said he was visiting Cass instead of running, I
could have accepted that and we could have gone separate ways without this
mess. It would have broken my heart, but it wouldn't have left hope alive."
"What makes you think he lied about the running? That's a common form of
relaxation for us. It would be one of the first things we'd do." He hadn't
recognized in his anger that she'd been hurt as well. He recognized it now.
"Thirty-five klicks in two hours? He'd say 35 clicks and then he'd be back in
two hours. That's too fast for that distance, but two hours is just enough time
to visit Cass for a good time and return home."
"I thought you said that earlier, but I was too angry to hear it." Rex
scratched his cheek. "We're clone troopers, human but slightly different,
Saria. Different percentage of muscle for one. If there was anyone in my
company who wasn't doing 35 klicks in less than two hours, I'd send him to med
unit to check what was wrong with him. And that's in armor with gear."
He could see she was considering this. She bowed her head. "Sketch said the
same. Boil said he ran also. I'll accept that, sometimes at least, Jester was
out on a run for those two hours. But that doesn't explain why he went to bed
Cass and he admits that. It doesn't explain why he thinks I was having an
affair with Dr. Chymdura."
"I can't think of anything either. All I do know is that Jester doesn't lie and
Jester doesn't share."
She sighed softly, rinsing out her glass and setting it in the sink. She leaned
against the counter facing him. "I don't know Rex. Giving Sketch the crutches
has at least let me talk to Jester, if only obliquely. He said he doesn't want
to give up on friendship, so there's that at least."
"I wouldn't want to give up on your friendship, either, Saria."
She sniffed back a tear and took the step into his arms. "Me either, Rex. You
have all become very important in my life."
He hugged her, forgiven and forgiving, tucked his head into the juncture of
neck and shoulder as she laid her head against his chest. She had a faint
perfume, the perfume of her own skin. Rex smiled. She smelled good, like
Ahsoka, like Aureki. Rex stiffened and pulled her away from him. His eyes were
wide.
"You're pregnant." His voice was shocked surprise.
She stared at him, her eyes wide. "How did…?" Then she started laughing. After
a few seconds, she crumpled into crying. He pulled her into his arms and sat on
the bench of the table with a dazed and troubled expression on his face.
                             Outprocessing I - Col
Col sat on a stool next to Kayl's cot in the med unit barn telling him about
the eopies, the delicious bread and soup from the first night, the way the wind
made music through the trees. He had Kayl smiling, eager to get better and
leave the barn's confinement. Kayl said that Edge would be helping him out
later, that Saria and Kix had promised he could go outside today.
Col turned to find Kix leaning against the door, listening with a smile. He
jumped up, suddenly nervous. He didn't have doubts about his physical; not too
many anyway. It was why he had started with the physical. He'd been the second
man to schedule a physical and had seen Kix yesterday for some preliminary
tests. Chopper had been the only one before him and had walked out with a grin
and thumbs up at Col as Col walked in. Col realized they'd all been trained to
follow steps in a given order, but the order was sometimes arbitrary. He
wondered who'd told Chopper. Then again, Chopper had been different ever since
Col had met him in prison.
"Come on in, Col." Kix lead him into the small stall-turned-office. There was
no desk, simply two chairs on the same side of a longish table. Kix sat,
gestured to the seat next to him. That was unusual. In previous medical
assessments the trooper stood. Col shrugged. That had been GAR, Imperial Army
or prison.
Col sat next to Kix, pulling the chair up to the table with his hand. Kix set
the data pad on the table so both he and Col could see it.
"You're in pretty good health, Col, for everything that we've been through. So
I'll tell you right now, you've passed the physical."
Col smiled and took a deep breath, relieved. That hadn't been hard. Col then
set his flimsi and stylus on the table.
Kix glanced at it, then at Col in curiosity.
"It's my plan, and what I have to do." Col explained. He held the page up for
Kix. It was divided into three small and one larger rectangle labeled: 'Phys',
'Psyc', 'Dbrf' and 'Future'. There were a lot of notes under 'Future'.
"Good idea. Especially for the debrief, I suspect," nodded Kix. "What you have
to do for physical is simple. Eat more, exercise more. How's that?"
Col laughed. "That's it?"
Kix nodded. "You're got some borderline deficiencies, I suspect everyone does.
Food in prison wasn't quality."
"Anything in particular?"
"Protein, for a start. Your muscle mass has decreased substantially. Exercise
will help that as well. Sunlight. There wasn't much in prison and Saleucami
isn't a very beneficial place for vitD. Make sure to get at least some sunlight
five days a week while you're here. Good diet should fill in the rest." Kix
watched Col note this on his flimsi.
"That shouldn't be a problem if they keep feeding us like they have been."
smiled Col as he finished writing. "Those goldenfruit are absolutely wonderful
and the eggs are," he grinned at Kix. "Almost orgasmic."
"I'll agree with you there." Kix smiled and glanced down at the table.
"Orgasmic is something one of the women will be asking you, Col. If you can
function sexually. There's nothing physically wrong with you."
Col chuckled. "I'm pretty sure I can manage. Little brother took an interest in
Sula when we escaped."
"Sula?" Kix asked. Col blushed and nodded.
"When Fives carried her into the cabin, I wanted to be him so much. I was hard
through most of that trip." He paused. "I have, I hope, someone on Dantooine,
but it's been a long time." Col set the holovid on the table and flicked it to
life. Ehveen, lovely in pregnancy.
"Maybe I've been watching it too long." Col joked softly, seeing those
beautiful curved lines of her pregnancy. "Boil took it out of property and
brought it here. I bawled like a baby to see it again."
Kix nodded. "I think you'll be getting a 'go' from psyc as well, then. You've
got plans, hope, but you're not set on it being what it used to be. All those
take seeing reality as it is, being able to change."
"Thanks, Kix."
He was one third done.
                             Outprocessing II - Col
Col swallowed hard. She was beautiful, even without the ball of pregnancy in
her belly. Little brother was certainly interested and there wasn't much Col
could do to hide that. She caught his interest, smiled softly and nodded.
"I guess I don't need to ask you that question." Her voice was softly velvety
with a hint of huskiness. It flowed over Col like warm honey, relaxing him. He
knew that was part of her being Zeltron; she let him see that and he
appreciated her openness. He was pretty sure she could do this without his
knowledge.
"No, ma'am." Col blushed.
"Please, call me Sula." He nodded and she continued. "Cut mentioned that you
actually had plans beyond Saleucami."
"Yes, ma'am. Sula." He corrected himself. "I'd like to get back to Dantooine.
There's a woman there. I thought I loved her more than anything, but I was
wrong then. Now, I know I love her more than anything else I have. I want to go
back to see if she..." He scratched his head with his fingers, brushed back
hair that he was letting grow longer, trying to voice what he wanted. "I want
to go back there to see if I have a future with her. With my child."
"And if you don't? What if she'd continued on with her life, married someone
else or has died in childbirth. What if you can no longer find her?"
Col was silent. He'd given a brief, very brief, consideration to not being able
to see her again. "I don't know. If she's moved on, then at least I can tell
her what she meant to me, why I deserted her. I can apologize. Maybe meet my
child. Maybe she'll allow me to be part of my child's life. I can work, help
support her if necessary. That would be something." His lips twisted and he
looked down at the floor. "I don't want her to be dead. Even if I can't find
her, I should be able to find out what happened to her." He smiled at Sula,
"Ehveen has family and they were pretty accepting of me. They knew I was a
clone and that didn't matter to them. I don't think they'd all be dead unless
the Imperials..." His lips tightened. "Did they? Was Dantooine attacked by the
Imperial Stormtroopers? They never told us anything in prison."
"I do not believe so. If so, it has been kept amazingly secret."
Col relaxed. "Then probably not. It's difficult to keep a planetary invasion
quiet." He paused, glanced down at his flimsi, his notes, and the single little
symbol that meant "what if".
"If there's nothing on Dantooine left for me. I don't know. Maybe make my way
back here to be with family. Maybe stay on Dantooine and work. It's
agricultural for the most part. A strong back, some minor mechanical knowledge,
are all that's needed and I've got those. Maybe partner up if anyone else is
interested in Dantooine." He nodded to himself. "I think I'll put a notice up
telling people to talk to me about Dantooine. It's a good place."
Sula nodded softly. "You're cleared."
"What? Already? But you haven't done a profile or anything." Col suddenly
realized he shouldn't have said anything to jinx his good fortune. He bit his
lip. Now, they might keep him.
She chuckled and that warmth was like sunlight in his soul. "You have hope. You
have plans. You have contingency. You know that it will be hard work. You know
that you have apologies to make and you have an understanding of what
uncertainty will take out of you. You can function in the society to which you
plan to go. You have consideration for other people. Is there anything else?"
Col thought about that, his brows furrowing. Then he smiled. "I guess not."
Thank you, Sula."
They spoke a bit more. He asked about her baby girl, about children in general.
She suggested he ask Suu, play with the younglings, and help with Keeli and the
infant. When he left, he felt hopeful and clean.
Two thirds done, and in the same day. Col didn't know how long he'd have to
wait for a debrief. Currently he was about tenth, fifth after Cody finished
with the first deserters. He trotted over to the side of the house where
schedules were tacked up, to put up his own notice about Dantooine.
There were two new lists and they must have been newly posted because only
three men were reading them.
"Alright! Look, Scythe made it." Dub rejoiced, pointing it out to Djinn. "So
did Jjeck and Rhys. Boil says they escaped by themselves." His fingers touched
the asterisked names. "How did they do that?"
Djinn pointed out another name on the escapees list. "Sinker? I thought they
took him out and busted his head." The thought that Sinker had escaped brought
a smile to his lips.
"Told you he was hard-headed," smirked Dub, as he continued reading.
Baffle was looking at the longer list, his body in respectful parade rest, his
lips moving as he recited names to himself. Col knew that no one would call the
names of the dead aloud. Every man would want to read that list for themselves.
They would want to mourn quietly, perhaps add a name to their daily
remembrance.
Col checked the debrief list and sighed. Still tenth. He wondered how long it
would take before he even started his debrief. He took one of the little
plascards and the attached stylus. He didn't ponder long over his words before
he had them.
Interested in Dantooine?
Been there, going back.
See me if you have questions.
Col, Cut's Camp.
                                     Saria
Rex held her in his arms as she cried, rocking her. He was still unsure what to
do about crying women. Ahsoka and Aureki so rarely cried. He'd never seen
Aureki cry and he hadn't seen Ahsoka cry except back on the Resolute during the
war. He seemed to be doing all right with Saria. She had stopped crying,
stopped those deep, gulping sobs, and was now breathing deep and even, her eyes
were closed.
Rex suddenly realized she was asleep. He smiled and held her a bit closer to
his chest. Saria had been doing a lot in the last few days. Both Kayl and
Dare's surgeries had been long and intensive. That kind of concentration was
exhausting. She had set up the med barn, including a sterile area, before the
brothers had arrived. She'd been sharing post-op watch with Kix and Etch.
There'd been some problem in her relationship with Jester – no matter whose
fault that was. No wonder she was asleep, she was probably still exhausted. The
problem was she was asleep in his arms and he had debriefing with Cody.
He stood, holding her in his arms as he looked around, then mentally shrugged
and walked through the kitchen, out the door into the back yard. It was
morning, breakfast over, and the back yard was empty except for Chopper.
"Two aren't enough?" Chopper asked with a grin that stretched into one of his
facial scars, as he scrapped the steel cooking plate.
Rex chuckled. He knew most of the troopers envied him and Echo their wives;
envied Fives, envied Cut. Chopper, at least, looked at it with humor.
"Actually, I'd like to find her a comfortable place out here. Will you get a
blanket?" Chopper nodded, wiped his hands on the towel over his shoulder, and
went into the house. Rex looked around for a good spot, found one on a slight
slope, near a tree. Chopper came out with two blankets and a pillow.
"Thought she might like something to curl up with," he mumbled as he
straightened the blanket on the ground. Rex laid her down and Chopper covered
her with the second blanket, then he pushed the pillow under her arm. She
murmured and clenched the pillow closer.
"I'll keep an eye on her," said Chopper, as he moved back to finish cleaning
the steel. "I'm almost done with this."
"Thanks," replied Rex as he started toward the barn, then turned around. "She
went to sleep crying. I don't know how she'll wake up."
Chopper nodded. "Are you going to tell Kix where she is?"
"Yes. I don't think she had much planned today, but he would know."
"If so, you can tell him where she's napping. I'll make sure no one bothers her
other than med." Chopper glanced at the sleeping figure.
Rex nodded as he strode towards the barn. "Only med," he warned. "Not even
Jester."
Choppers eyebrows rose in surprise, then he gazed at the sleeping figure in
contemplation.
Chopper had banked the fire pit, leaving glowing coals surrounded by the stone
embankment. The steel plate was scrapped, scrubbed, and sanded clean, ready for
Suu's culinary magic late in the afternoon. Now he was sitting next to her
blanket. He'd told Rex he'd watch Saria, he never said how close.
Chopper frowned, puckered his face deep into thought. She was a small woman
with delicate, capable hands. Her hair was a sandy blonde. He stared at her
face, wondering what color her eyes would be when they opened. He'd like a
woman like that.
He laughed softly as he looked at the sky, and then shook his head. He'd like a
woman like … anything. Eye color didn't matter. Hair color didn't matter. Skin
color, tiny or larger, a woman who giggled softly or one who laughed loudly,
talkative or quiet. None of that mattered. Just so she liked him. Just so she'd
hug him close, kiss him, run her fingers on his scarred face and body without
revulsion. Chopper sighed. There'd never be a woman for him. He looked at
Saria. Never mind one like her.
They were green and she was watching him. There were tears in her red-rimmed
eyes. She touched the pillow with her fingers, pulling it closer, resting her
chin on it.
"I suppose Rex brought me out here," she said softly.
"Yes." Chopper, his curiosity about her eye color satisfied, turned his scarred
face slightly away from her. She hadn't looked at his scars except once and
then she'd had a look of regret that she couldn't do anything about them. For
that tiny regret, Chopper had decided her friendship would be worthwhile.
She sighed deeply. "Did he tell you why I was crying?"
"I didn't ask. He didn't say." Chopper said. "Just that you'd been crying and
to keep watch over you."
"I think he meant from anywhere in the back yard." Saria chuckled.
Chopper blushed, the scars on his face paling in comparison. He lay onto his
back, his arms supporting his head. "It was my pleasure to sit here and keep a
closer watch."
His body language told her he wasn't finished. She waited.
"It let me imagine." He added softly.
"Imagine what?"
His lips puckered and then he sucked in the bottom lip and released it with a
soft noise. "Let me imagine you were mine. Imagine you'd be my woman. Nothing
sexual. Just little," he blew out, "not even dreams. Figments of a future life,
maybe. You smiling at me. Or me doing something silly, like climbing a tree to
get you a perfect goldenfruit. Watching you read and you'd look at me and
smile. Watching our kids play." He heard her gulp and looked at her sideways,
one eyebrow raised. Then he nodded.
"I've had a lot of problems, mostly mental, and the scars don't help." He
continued as if she hadn't gulped, as if he hadn't looked at her with raised
eyebrow, but he knew. Saria had seen that in his eyes.
"Being a trooper didn't allow us to meet many women," Chopper continued. "Being
in prison prevented us from meeting any. Most of us here are never going to
find a woman to love us. Most of us don't know how to act around women." He
gazed at the sky, a sad expression on his face. "I don't."
"You act very well around me, Chopper."
"You haven't seen me flirt." His voice was dismissive.
"I have, Chopper. You do very well at flirting when you simply tell the truth.
It's …" she reached for a description but couldn't find on she liked. He rolled
onto his side, watching her think. "It's perfectly and uniquely you."
He thought about that. "Thank you." Then he lowered his eyes to the blanket and
poked at the design with a finger. "Can you tell me what I've said or done and
I'll try to repeat it?"
She pushed the pillow under her head and shook her finger at him with a smile.
"Repetition is the antithesis of flirting. Flirting is supposed to be fun,
enjoyable and spontaneous. Few things are enjoyable when you do them over and
over."
Chopper smiled at her finger then grinned widely as he looked into her green
eyes. "How about you tell me what I've said or done and I'll try it out on
different women." She chuckled deep in her throat.
"But flirting is only part of the pathway. You don't want to be doing the same
thing, even with different women, because it gets you no further."
"Those deep, long private hugs with hours of body touching and kissing. When
it's not flirting." He murmured.
"You've been talking to Crux." She recognized her own words, her own desires.
She sniffed and put her hand to her lips, closing her eyes. Chopper was quiet
for a moment.
"Crux has been talking to everyone." He said when she opened her eyes again,
ready for conversation. Chopper laughed softly. "Like it's a big secret that
he's revealing. That's not what I want." She looked at him with one eyebrow
raised in disbelief. Chagrined, he bowed his head and blushed. "I mean that's
not all I want. I want what Cut has, what Rex and Echo have, what Fives has."
"And what's that?" she asked, but she knew. It was what she wanted as well.
He shrugged. "Family. A woman to love. Children to raise with her. A home.
Someone to put all my labor." His face was earnest. "I want to find someone so
I can give her everything I can give her."
"What are you going to do if you don't find a woman like that?" Her voice was
reflective, understanding.
"Keep searching until I die." He sat up quickly, gracefully, his elbows on his
knees. His voice was low. "I don't know what I'd do for something like that."
He looked down at the soft grass. "And coming from a man who's done everything
that I've done, that's a scary thought."
Saria reached up and touched his arm. She wished she could reassure him, wished
she could guarantee he'd find love. She couldn't and he had fewer illusions
than his brothers about his chances.
Chopper touched her fingers, looked into her eyes, his own full of sorrow.
"Thanks for talking with me, for letting me," he looked down briefly. "For
letting me imagine."
She got up to her knees, hugged him tightly around his neck and gave him a kiss
on the cheek when he leaned into the hug. He was still.
"May I kiss you the same?" he asked, his face twisting with hope. She nodded.
"Kisses on the cheek are appropriate between friends." She explained. "If both
lean toward each other." She leaned toward him.
"I don't have many friends. Thank you for that as well." His kiss on her cheek
was like the touch of a light breeze in sunlight; warm and pleasant.
                                 Rex and Jester
"Jester, can we talk for a few minutes?" Rex had lines on his forehead as he
frowned. He was sitting on a grassy hillock with his back against a tree. Rex
gestured next to himself.
"Certainly. What about?" Jester gracefully sat next to Rex and handed him one
of the bottles of water he'd be hauling back to camp. Sketch had made it to
Echo's camp but needed to rest before he tried to make it back at the moment so
Jester was doing some of the work needed to keep the camps in order.
"Saria." Rex watched as Jester immediately closed him out; looking away,
folding his arm and leaning back. Jester's lips were tight, the lines of his
face deeper.
"Ok," said Rex as he relaxed a bit more against the tree. "Maybe not Saria. How
about this Cass Cjain?"
Jester relaxed a bit, but not much. "She's a woman who lives not far from us."
Rex noted Jester's words. "Us? I thought Saria moved out."
Jester looked down.  "I'm hoping she'll come back." He muttered after a moment.
"Have you thought about asking her to come back?" asked Rex.
"I thought we were talking about Cass." Jester's face was stony with anger.
Rex shrugged. "She lives not far from you. What else?"
"She's pretty, younger than Saria by a couple of years. She doesn't have a
thought in her head except men." Jester gave a chuckle. "She doesn't like Cut
and Suu too much because Cut won't have anything to do with her; but if she
knew how many brothers he had here right now, she'd be dividing her time
between the camps."
"Is that why you went to visit her, Jester? Because she was convenient and
Saria was busy?" Rex took a sip of the water.
Jester frowned. "No." He shook his head. "No. Saria said I had to share her
with Chymdura and I didn't think I could share." Jester hung his head, his arms
draped over his elbows, shaking his head.  "I thought I'd be physiologically
incapable of sharing," he continued. "But getting into bed with Saria and her
expecting me to hug her and kiss her and make love to her." Jester shook his
head again. "I didn't want to find out that way but I needed to find out."
Rex nodded, letting Jester know he was listening. The bottle swinging between
his fingers.
"So I went to Cass Cjain's house. And I smiled at her and she had my clothes
off before I could finish saying 'hello'." Jester said nothing for a few
seconds and when he did speak, it was in a shamed whisper. "I couldn't do
anything."
Rex made a sound in his mouth as he took another drink. "So, because you
couldn't sexually perform with someone you didn't particularly like, you felt
that you couldn't sexually perform with someone you loved?"
"It doesn't make sense the way you say it, Rex."
"Doesn't make sense the way you did it, Jester." Rex retorted. "But let's skip
that for a second." He paused a moment, considering his words. "So you go home
and tell Saria that because she's having sex with another man you can't have
sex with another woman?"
"Rex, it's not making sense the way you're saying it." Jester objected again,
his hands palm up.
"OK, Jester. Tell me so it makes sense." Rex finished off his water in a large
gulp. "Tell me in a way that might make sense to Saria."
"Cass was just a test to see if I could function after Saria told me I had to
share." Jester wasn't shouting, but he was close. "Ok, Rex, I'll admit, not a
very good test. But I was scared."
"What were you scared of Jester?" Rex asked quietly.
"That Saria wouldn't want me anymore." Jester whispered his lips tight and his
face pale. "That I'd crawl into bed with her; hugging her warm skin, kissing
her lips and not get hard for her." Jester put his hand to his face for a
moment. "And she'd leave."
Rex sighed, shaking his head. "So, because you couldn't get hard, you decided
to deprive her of hugs and kisses and your company. Because you were afraid she
would leave, you made her leave. Have I got that right, Jester?"
Jester had a sour look on his face, but he nodded. "You make it sound like I
was being selfish."
"I make it sound?" asked Rex with one eyebrow. "You're the one told me what
happened." There was silence between them for a time.
Jester frowned and nodded. "It sounds like I was being selfish."
"It sounds like it," agreed Rex.
"Rex, she's the best thing in my life. That's ever been in my life. And I was
terrified that I'd lose her.
"I know, Jester," Rex took in a breath. "But, it seems that you're close to
losing her now."
Jester hung his head dejectedly between his knees. "I know."
"Could you share her, now?" Rex asked.
"Doesn't matter. I can't do anything now." Jester replied.
"You can hold her and kiss her. You can share in her life, laugh with her." Rex
gave a half grin. "You can talk to Echo about satisfying her without being
hard. He's… imaginative.  Or maybe just listens to Fives a lot." Rex saw Cody
walking up the hill toward them. He stood, back to debriefing. It had turned
into them debriefing each other.
"It seems to me, Jester," Rex was solemn now. "That you gave up on Saria before
she gave up on you."
"She said that I had to share…" Jester began.
"Jester, Saria didn't even understand what 'share' is. She had to ask me. When
I told her, she said that she didn't share either. Not sexually. So something
is very wrong between you. And it isn't what happens in bed."
Cody stood slightly apart, reluctant to interrupt their conversation.
"I think you need to apologize for going to Cass Cjain. You need to ask her
what she actually meant when she said you had to share. You need to, at the
very least, to talk to her." Rex shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe you have more
things to apologize for. Maybe she has things to apologize for. But I'll tell
you this Jester. When I first saw Ahsoka after five years…" Rex paused. "I told
myself I'd share her with Jabba the Hutt to keep her in my life. If Saria isn't
worth that to you, maybe she'd be better off if you just gave her up outright."
                                      Cody
Cody was a bit shaky as he stood. A good debrief could do that to a man; drag
everything from him including things he wasn't sure of, make him realize things
he hadn't know, acknowledge emotions thought buried. Rex was good. Cody
grinned, almost as good as he was.
Cody understood why Rex had grabbed three of his men and deserted as well as
his hesitancy around children. Rex understood what had happened in prison
and why these were Cody's men now though both wanted them to be free men now,
answerable to no captain or commander but only to themselves.
Both men walked clean now, taking deep breaths of the fresh Saleucami air and
stretching their muscles. Rex clapped his hand over Cody's shoulder.
"Whoa, brother. I am glad that is finished." He lowered his head just a bit and
Cody's face became curious. "For me."
"And me," stated Cody. "Going through everything. Thank you, Rex."
"You, too, Cody. Thank you. But you aren't quite finished yet, I think."
"You think?"
Rex nodded. "Because of that." He brushed his fingers against the padawan beads
on Cody's wrist. "Ahsoka would like to speak with you. She told me that this
morning, after she saw it and recognized it as belonging to Barriss."
Cody nodded as he touched what was left of her. It was Barriss' padawan braid,
small beads braided into her dark hair, removed at her knighting. He'd worn it
inside his armor until he had deserted, then on his right wrist after so he
would always be reminded of her before he raised his hand to do anything. He
wished he'd worn it since Order 66. He might have deserted sooner. They'd taken
it when they captured him. Boil had returned it.
He found Ahsoka sitting with Aureki, speaking Togrutan and giggling like small
girls. He watched them for a moment, and then Ahsoka caught sight of him.
"Debrief done?" She asked in courtesy. He wouldn't be there if it wasn't.
"With Rex, but I'm told you want a few words also." He glanced at Aureki. Did
he have to bare his soul to this stranger?
The tall Togruta woman smiled. "I must help Suu with preparations for dinner,"
she said as she rose from the ground and Cody reached out to help her. She was
not as graceful as Ahsoka. Softly, Aureki touched him on the shoulder and gave
him a small hug. "I knew Barriss also, if only for a short time."
Cody sat next to Ahsoka. Usually debriefing was face to face. He didn't think
he'd be able to talk about Barriss face to face.
"Ask anything, Ahsoka." He said. He'd hold nothing back; he knew she'd been
Barriss' friend. Barriss had talked about her often.
"Perhaps I should say that, Cody. Because I am here to tell." Her voice was low
and gentle. "I will tell, then you may ask anything you wish of me."
Cody nodded. She would be giving him a portion of Barriss' life for his
starving soul. Every portion of her life was important to him.
"I was pregnant and I told the Jedi council that I would raise my own child."
Ahsoka began. "Very few people reacted the way I thought they would. My master,
who I thought would urge me to give the child away, urged me to think long and
hard but, in the end, was glad for my choice. General Kenobi, who I thought
would accept my decision, was adamantly against it. Both Masters Yoda and Windu
were wavering as though reconsidering the stricture against attachment.  Master
Mundi, with his own family who I thought would understand was against." She
sighed softly, remembering the time before Order 66 then she smiled brightly,
"But Barriss, Barriss who was my best friend, squealed with delight and hugged
me and gently teased me about how round I would grow and what to name my son."
Cody smiled. "That doesn't sound like calm, collected Commander Offee. Most of
her men wouldn't recognize that part of her."
"But you would," Ahsoka put her hand on his.
"Yes." He turned his hand, palm up, clasping hers in his. It was almost like
touching Barriss again.
"When I told Barriss I was pregnant, she stood by me in Council. When she
could, Barriss visited Shili. She said she would be there for my child's birth
and that was good because I was scared. I was so scared."
"Why? Women give birth all the time." Cody was mystified about childbirth, but
there wouldn't be any races if women didn't give birth. Except clones.
"Women die in childbirth, Cody. The child can die. They can both die. Cut
almost lost both Suu and Keeli at his birth. Only Echo's constant reading and
Rex kidnapping Dr. Chymdura saved Suu and the baby. I had never seen an easy
birth and I was as scared as a shiny going into battle with no direction.
Barriss said she would deliver my baby."
Cody nodded.
"Barriss came to visit about a month before Barin was due. Partially to check
up on me, partially because she had those days free, and mostly," Ahsoka's face
lit up. "Because we were best friends." She looked at Cody. "We visited and
talked and went out for walks and she checked if she could do anything for
Aureki. We went into town and teased all the men." She smiled in memory. "That
is a custom of Shili; that pregnant women tease the men so they would go home
and make their own wives pregnant." She blushed. "It was a lot of fun. The men
must act as though the pregnant woman is their beloved. I got hugs and kisses
and compliments that I hadn't received before in my pregnancy." There were tiny
diamonds of tears in the corners of her eyes.
Roughly, Cody hugged her. "Why didn't you tell Rex? Or have Barriss tell Rex?
He would have..,"
"I didn't know that, Cody. I had no idea what Rex would do. We had a very
public argument on the Resolute. Because of the argument, the men, most of the
men," she amended. "Treated me like a woman common to all of them. And Rex did
nothing." Her chin was firm and Cody saw that pain had hurt.
"I'm sorry, Ahsoka. I know Rex is sorry he did nothing." He paused, "Does it
still bother you."
"I know that now, but it shook me then." She shook her head. "When Barriss came
for that visit, she was luminous in happiness. She told me that she had two
men, two equals, two lovers. She said she would not leave the Jedi Order at
that time and, because of that, they could only be lovers. She didn't tell me
who but when I saw her braid on your wrist, I knew one."
"Me and Gree." Cody smile, though his eyes were moist with unshed tears. "She
said that when the war was over she would leave the Jedi and marry us. We
weren't sure the GAR would let us go, but we promised her we would do whatever
it took to keep her near us." He laughed softly. "Once, we'd all three had a
bit much Corellian ale and she put on armor to see if she could pass as a
trooper. Definitely not." Cody gave a shallow laugh then his face changed.
"Gree took a blaster wound, a bad one, which put him in stasis for Kamino and
she followed your old general's habit of immediate self-redeployment to his
battalion and healed him on-site."
Ahsoka nodded.
"We loved her." Cody's own eyes were shiny with unshed tears "Both Gree and I
share. Shared. There was so much of her to share. She and Gree would talk for
hours about some tiny detail of ancient cultures. I loved listening to their
discussions. All three of us would discuss battlefield tactics and strategies."
He gave a deep sigh and was quietly pensive for a moment. "We were not often
assigned together. But sometimes; some rare, wonderful times, the three of us
were together."
Ahsoka put her hand into Cody's. "When Barriss came for Barin's birth it was
two months to Order 66." She saw his quick look of pain and the frown on his
lips at the mention of Order 66. "She, my mothers and my sisters were there.
Between my training and Barriss' healing, it was a fairly easy birth. She
stayed for three days after his birth, to make sure I had no problem." Ahsoka
smiled. "I didn't, so most of our time was spent talking and cooing over Barin.
Barriss loved to hold him." Ahsoka's voice softened. This could not be easy for
Cody. "'Practice' she told me, 'for my own daughter.'"
Cody's mouth opened and then he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth
together. He bowed his head until it touched her shoulder. Ahsoka's hands came
to his head and stroked his face, his short hair.
"She said that all three of you were together 'for once' two weeks previous."
She spoke softly into his ear.
"Two weeks?" whispered Cody between his tears. "That's too early to know."
"Not for a Jedi who can feel a life signature. Not for a Healer who can see
into her own body and feel the very cells." She continued to stoke Cody's face
and felt the wetness of his tears on her shoulder. "She said she was going to
ask the Council for transfer to Kamino Medical when she was three months along.
She said she was going to let the council know that she would be giving up her
child to remain a Jedi."
Cody shook his head, opened his mouth, but couldn't express his thoughts; his
love for Barriss and Gree and their unborn child; a child forever unborn. "To
never see …"
"Do you think Barriss meant never to see her daughter? Do you think Barriss
didn't mean to tell you? She was going to tell both her loves as soon as you
were all three together again. She asked me and Aureki to adopt her daughter.
We were ecstatic to say 'yes'. Do you think we would have prevented her fathers
from seeing her?" She lifted his face with her hands to look into his eyes.
"No," he whispered softly, shaking his head. "It would be the best for
everyone. Would have been the best solution." He shuddered and drew back from
her hands, tears still in his eyes.
Ahsoka felt pain for him. "I didn't tell you for sorrow's sake. I told you
because Barriss loved you and that was part of her life."
"Thank you." He bent and kissed her on the cheek. She stood gracefully, leaving
him to mourn his family.
                                     Saria
Dare had fallen asleep in the cot with one foot still solidly planted on the
floor. Kix looked at her and nodded at her raised eyebrow.
"He argued and argued about keeping Edge with him, but you were right and, as
it turned out, Dare passed out on the way to one of the camps."
Saria gasped and took another look at the sleeping man, "He didn't…"
"No, Edge was ready." Kix said as he shook his head and Saria relaxed. "Caught
him, lowered him to the ground and made him rest for a short time before
commanding him back to the barn. Edge says Dare gave him an argument." Kix
shook his head again. "Maybe, but when Dare got here, I gave him a pain med and
told him to rest." Kix chuckled. "He merely saluted his affirmative."
Saria smiled. "For a man who can't speak, he certainly knows how to state his
needs. I've seen some of the men laugh at the way he uses those signals, but
they understand what he wants. It makes me want to learn them. 'Small arms
fire' for headache is just so appropriate."
"It's mostly context," said Kix as he fingered through some paperwork. "We've
got three more men coming tomorrow to begin their physicals and two the day
after." He smiled. "Col passed his physical and his psyc today and some of the
men are considering that lucky."
Saria pulled up Varzhain's_Humanoid_Anatomy_and_Variations on her data pad and
fingered through until she came to the section on human ankles; she flicked the
switch to holo and set the pad on the desk. A blue flaring brought up a 3D
image and she manipulated it until the foot resembled Sketch's twisted
appendage. She made a second image, creating cuts as she had seen then twisting
the image. Finally, Saria made a third image of a perfect foot. She overlapped
the three images and studied the tendons and ligaments; how they interacted,
their stressed areas, their attachment to bone.
"Sula suggested to Col that he play with the kids and help with the infant,"
continued Kix as Saria saved the image and set it aside. "He seemed pretty
anxious to start."
"Wait until she hands him the baby," laughed Sketch as he entered the med barn
followed by Jester. "She is so tiny; I could hold her in one hand."
"That's not suggested," replied Kix with his brows drawn. Would Sketch actually
try such a move, endangering the child?
Saria laughed. "All men say that about newborns." Kix relaxed, but he would
have a word with Sketch and Col. Just in case. Babies took both hands. He'd
make sure all the men knew. Just in case.
"I was terrified," Sketch continued, "that both of my hands and arms weren't
sufficient."
"So Sketch, how was your day?" Saria watched as Sketch moved and nodded to
herself. His moves were solid and confident. She pointed him to a chair and he
sat, handling himself and his crutches properly. Jester leaned against the wall
by the door, his arms crossed and his lips slightly upturned.
"I'm close to my limit right now but today was good," Sketch said tiredly. "No
muscle spasms if that's what you're asking."
"It is." She knelt in front of him, lightly inspecting his leg through his
pants. His muscles seemed warm, relaxed as much as possible. She stood. "Off
you go. I'll check you once more after dinner, a little more thoroughly. In the
house." Saria smiled at him. "I think you're doing very well."
He smiled back, in gratitude. "I don't want to overdo it by too much and I have
plans for going to the back yard for dinner tonight. I'm going to rest." He
moved out the med barn door. Jester stood erect from leaning against the wall,
to follow him. "I'll be in the house," Sketch moved toward the back of the
house to go in via the back door. He moved with more grace than he had
yesterday or even earlier that morning. Edge fell in step beside them, talking
with Sketch and Jester paused, slowly turning back to the med barn.
Saria nodded, happy with Sketch's progress. She turned to Jester who'd
returned. "You did very well with Sketch, Jester. He looks secure on his
crutches."
"Thanks, Saria." He watched her, simply chewing his lower lip. "Would you like
to sit down, Saria?"
"Sure," Saria was surprised, but happy that Jester wanted to talk. She was
relaxed, refreshed from her earlier nap, and everything was going well in the
med barn. "How about on the porch with Kayl? I know Checkout and Djinn came by
to talk to him earlier, but he looks lonely now."
"I'd rather…," Jester paused. "Alone." His voice was asking, his eyes pleading.
"Of course, Jester." She spoke softer this time. Tentatively, he put his arm
around her waist, watching her to see if she'd refuse. Saria slowly touched his
hand on her hip with hers, wrapping her fingers around his.
They walked the few steps to outside the barn where they sat beneath one of the
tall trees. Jester peered up, intently, into the leaves.
"Some of the men like to climb the trees and relax. Echo said that Chopper even
sleeps in one." He told her with a smile. Then he lost his smile. "I don't want
them to listen. I want to speak with you privately." He was quiet then, his
fingers playing with a thatch of grass at his feet, trying to gather his words.
"I saw Rex earlier this afternoon."
Saria stiffened, wondering if Rex had told Jester she was pregnant then she
relaxed. Rex wouldn't tell anyone. She still didn't understand how he had
known.
"He pointed out that I was being selfish. That I hadn't thought about you."
Jester sighed. "I do think about you. I think about you all the time and what
can I do to make you stay and how much I want you and when you smile at me and
how your hair shines in the sunlight and how much I miss you and how much I
love you." He shut his eyes and took a breath and bowed his head. "I'm sorry,
Saria. I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. I'm sorry I went to Cass Cjain's. I'm
sorry I've been going running or leaving the house to just sit on the stump.
Mostly I'm sorry that I haven't been holding you or kissing you."
"Will you explain why you went to Cass', Jester?" she asked softly, afraid he'd
jump up and leave."
After a moment, he nodded. Once. A short nod that was barely perceptible.
"I didn't think I could share, Saria. Physiologically share." He paused and
glanced around. "I went to Cass to find out if it was true." Miserably, he
stared down at the grass. "She had my clothes off, kissing me, touching me."
Jester noticed Saria's lips, downturned, trembling. He would have stopped, but
she had asked, wanting to understand.
"I couldn't do anything, Saria," he whispered harshly. "She did things that
would make a dead man rise, but not me. I have become incapable of pleasing a
woman." He looked at her, misery in his eyes. "Incapable of pleasing you."
Saria looked at him, angrily, tears running from her eyes. "You went to another
woman to test yourself? You didn't bother coming to me? You didn't say to me,
'Saria, I'm concerned about impotence, could we check?'"
He winced at the word.
"You didn't bother asking me if your kisses or your hugs or your mere presence
pleased me." She was still a moment, her body suddenly frozen in rage as her
tears ran in rivers over her ashen face. "Was everything we had together based
on illusion? Based solely on your performance?" She sucked in a breath.  "What
would you have done…" Her brows drew down in ferocious anger. "What the hell
would you have done if you'd had an erection with Cass?"
Fierfik!He hadn't thought of that. Would he have walked out his misery only
temporarily assuaged until he crawled into bed with Saria? Would he have
stayed, held by Cass' enticement? His eyes went wide and he couldn't name the
emotion that caused it. Shock, shame… they battled for supremacy.
She drew her knees up to her chest and grabbed them with her arms, shaking.
"You didn't say, 'Saria, could we discuss this sharing', maybe I've heard you
wrong, maybe I'm making assumptions and I want clarity. Rather than going off
on a two-hour run, you could have said something like, 'Saria, can we just
talk?' or 'Saria, I'd just like to hold you. Even 'Saria, care to join me?'
would have let me know that I mattered to you." She stared at him as if she
didn't know him; her eyes red and her cheeks blotchy.
"I was afraid you'd..."
"I'd what, Jester? Afraid I'd do what?" She laughed bitterly as she stood.
"Leave you for Chymdura? He's not even a good friend, much less a lover. Sketch
is a better friend. Chopper is a better friend. Neither of them are my lovers.
Chymdura's a good doctor, but that's it. You believe I'm 'sharing' with
Chymdura. Chymdura? He's a work colleague. But you don't believe me. So you
gave up on me and …" she stopped, shivered and then angrily spat the words.
"And my baby."
"And who's child is it, Saria?" he asked angrily and regretted it even as he
spoke, seeing the truth about Chymdura in her face. But his mouth had the
retort before his brain could intercept it with joy. He saw her face go white.
Her jaw clenched so tight he was scared she'd shatter some teeth.
"MINE!" she hissed, turning on her toes.
"Saria, I'm…" he began, but she was gone, running to the house.
He ran after her, faster than her, but at that short distance with her quick
start and him from a seated position, his speed didn't count for much. He was
on the porch steps when he grabbed her arm. It was not a good grip and she
turned, pushing him away with a release he had taught her. It was just enough
time for her to enter the house. He heard the bar slip in the latch.
"Saria," he yelled through the door, pounding it with his fist. "Saria! Come
back." He turned to Kayl who looked at him with open-mouthed surprise, and a
little anger written on his face. Jester glowered at him as he one-handedly
jumped over the railing for the back yard.
By the time, he got to the back door it was also locked, with a bemused Cut
standing outside. He looked at Jester. "I don't think she wants to talk to you
right now."
"She has to, she's pregnant." Jester growled.
"Hmm," nodded Cut staring at Jester. Then he shook his head. "Good luck,
Jester." His voice left no doubt that Jester would need all the good luck he
could find. Cut turned and left.
Jester pounded on the door. "Saria! Open the door." Several troopers playing
with Barin in the back yard watched him. They ducked their eyes as he glared at
them angrily. Dub picked up the child and started toward the front yard. The
others trailed him.
"Saria!" he yelled. "Don't ignore me."
Saria sat in the dim coolness of the house, shaking. She didn't know if it was
rage or the ripping to shreds of her heart. In between Jester's pounding at the
door, her heart pounded. After a while, the outside pounding stopped. The inner
pounding continued. She laid her head on the table in her arms and cried.
A soft hand caressed her back. She stiffened and then relaxed as the hand
continued even as her tears continued.
It was Sketch, of course. He had said he was tired and needed to rest his leg.
She'd known that, perhaps it was why she'd run to the house.
She turned and buried her face into his chest, clutching his shirt. He curled
his arm around her protectively, saying nothing. She looked up at him, her eyes
red with tears and her chin quivering. Suddenly it stilled with her
determination.
"Will you marry me, Sketch?"
Softly, he shook his head. "I'm crippled, Saria. I'll be crippled until my
dying day and no one understands that better than you. I can't provide for you,
can't…" his mouth tightened. "Well, there'll be a lot of things I can't do."
"Can you love a child? Can you hold a baby? Change a diaper, burp an infant?
Can you do that, Sketch?" Her eyes peered at him.
He nodded, curious. "Yes."
"Even if you don't know who the father is?" she challenged.
"I'd know who the mother is." He said warmly suddenly realizing why she asked;
smiling, his breath caressed her face. "Wouldn't I?"
She nodded. "Could you hold me when I'm tired? Warm me when I'm lonely? Kiss me
when I come home? Care for me? Hug me when I cry? Forgive me when I mess up?
Again, he nodded. "Probably not much more, but yes, I can very happily do
that."
She took a deep breath and let it out. "Can you talk to me when you're angry?
Instead of running... oh." She turned pink in embarrassment and covered her
lips with her fingers.
His lips turned into a smile at the color in her cheeks. "Definitely,
no thirty-five klick runs. And I won't go sitting outside, especially in the
cold." He turned serious. "I'll talk to you when I'm angry. If you or I get too
angry, I'd ask for us to go to our corners for a while."
She gave a nod. "Then, will you marry me?"
He sighed deeply. "What about Jester?" he asked softly.
"Jester," she said bitterly, her eyes tearing up. "Jester doesn't share."
"Neither do you, Saria." Sketch ran his fingers in her hair, untying the ribbon
in back and smoothing it out.
"Jester doesn't believe that." Her face was bleak as she said that. "I can't
marry a man who believes I lie."
"I can share, if you wish." Sketch offered. "I'm not likely to find anyone who
wants me, so that's a moot point. But if it came to sharing or losing you, I'd
do whatever it took to not lose you."
"I want you, Sketch."
"Me or a duplicate of my brother?" he asked sharply, peering at her with his
amber-brown eyes.
She looked at him. He was so much like Jester and she wondered if that was why
she proposed. Her lips came to a firm line. "Jester is on the other side of the
door." She pointed out. "And if I wanted him, I'd go open that door and listen
to him apologize for his thoughtless words."
"Then why not let him apologize."
She shook her head. "They were thoughtless words. He didn't have to think about
them. They were at the front of his mind, the first thing he thought of. And
every time Jester looks at this child, he will be wondering who the father is.
And I won't do that to my child."
"Well, if he's purple with green strips, I might wonder that myself." Sketch's
voice was slow, laconic, slightly ironic.
She giggled, her eyes still glistening with tears.
"But I'd still love him, hold him." Sketch smiled. "Yes, Saria, I will marry
you. I will care for you and your child, your children to the best of my
ability. With one stipulation." He took her hand in his and brought it to his
face, softly caressed it with his lips.
She nodded. "What's the stipulation?"
"You will give yourself thirty days to decide." He grew serious. "You will
flirt with all the men, get to know us; to determine if what you love in Jester
is something common to all of us or if it is unique to Jester. You will decide
whether it is Jester or me or someone else who you can love. Who can love you
as you need to be loved?" Softly he leaned over her and kissed her silken hair.
"When you decide you wanted Jester all along or if you decide on another man,
you will tell me. I don't want you wondering, when you're married to me, if you
choose me. By the time you have this child I will love you too much to leave
you to anyone else. And this mess with Jester will seem like sweet innocence in
comparison."
Saria gazed into his amber colored eyes, listening to his warning. "Yes."
He smiled as he kissed her palm, placed his arms around her and hugged her to
his body. She took a deep, cleansing breath and leaned into his chest.
There was a soft knock at the door and then a voice. "It's Chopper. May I come
in?"
Sketch laughed. "If you can, Chopper, my arms are full."
There was some jiggling at the lock and the door swung open. Chopper strode in
with a grin. "I asked Cut how to get in," he answered their unspoken question.
He turned and re-barred the door, pulling back some cord. "Now it's locked." He
shook his head. "Jester must have been too flustered to think of it."
"It's a boundary," explained Sketch and Chopper thought for a second, then
nodded.
He came to the table, inspecting them, her tears drying on her face as she sat
tucked into Sketch's side with his arm around her. Chopper sighed as he sat
across from them at the table. He looked at them and then shook his head. "Too
late."
"Too late for what, Chopper?" asked Sketch.
Chopper brushed the back of his head with his fingers then leaned his elbows on
the table. "I heard about the argument. From Kix who'd been at the barn door,
so there wasn't too much distortion of what had happened." He smiled gently at
Saria. "So I came to ask if you'd give me long hugs and sweet kisses; when it
wasn't flirting anymore. And, in exchange, I'd give you everything I am."
"Oh." Saria smiled. "That would be a wonderful gift, Chopper."
"It's not too late, Chopper," supplied Sketch. He looked at Saria. "Saria has
broken her engagement with Jester."
Chopper's eyes glittered and his brows rose in question. "Poor Jester." His
voice was expressionless as he waited.
"But she will not consider me for thirty days."
Chopper's eyes widened slightly and he glanced down as he very slightly
moistened his lips. Then he looked at her with fear and hope in his mismatched
eyes.
Sketch continued. "For the next month, Saria will be getting to know every man
here. To see if what she loves is common to all of us or unique to Jester. Or
unique to any one of us."
Chopper nodded slightly. "Saria." She lifted her eyes to his. Her glistened
with tears and her cheeks were blotchy red. She was beautiful.  "You know I
will try my hardest to convince you, don't you?" he asked softy. His hand
reached out for hers and took it with his large fingers. He didn't give her an
encouraging squeeze, simply held her small fingers with his larger ones.
She nodded. "I know," she whispered. He continued holding her hand, softly
stroking her fingers with his thumb. Sketch watched the longing on his face,
Chopper's vulnerability laid clear for both of them to see. If he ever drew
that picture, he'd have to burn it.
Chopper set her fingers down on the table and recomposed his features into a
look of amusement with a wry grin. "Jester is stalking around the house,
waiting to confront you, Saria, so he can apologize." He gave a short laugh.
"It seems everyone has business in the yard now. Everyone is there but the
scouts and some of Echo's camp who are down at the pool. Crux is within a few
feet of him, hoping that he might get a chance to propose before Jester can
apologize." Chopper's eyes glittered with humor. "Crux said that he had
permission to propose to you once and this seemed a more advantageous time than
waiting a month."
Saria stifled a laugh. "Poor Crux."
Chopper laughed. "Don't 'poor Crux'. He's lecturing Jester on how to treat a
woman. Which is pretty funny since he hadn't even seen one until our escape
from prison."
Both Saria and Sketch laughed at that but Saria's laughter verged on hysteria.
Sketch frowned at his leg and Chopper caught that. "What do you need, Sketch?"
"Something for her to drink." Sketch requested. Chopper was up and in the
kitchen even as she was telling him 'not to bother, she was fine'.
Sketch held her in his arms and drew his fingers through her hair. "This has
been a tiring few days for all of us, Saria and you've been taking care of us.
Let us take care of you as well?"
Saria took a breath and leaned against Sketch as Chopper handed her the glass.
"Ok." She wiped a tear from the side of her nose.
"Head high, Saria", Chopper said. "Make Jester work hard to try to win you
back." He let his fingers linger on hers on the glass. "If that's what you
really want." His voice was soft.
                         ------------------------------
Head high, Chopper had said, and so she walked out into the yard with her head
high and her shoulders back. She saw Jester and almost froze. He quickly
started toward the porch. Crux, just as quick, was in step with him. She turned
toward Kayl, leaning on his elbow on the cot, amusement on his face at the two
men.
"Kayl, I was meaning to come visit earlier." Her cheeks were still pink and her
eyes slightly red from her crying. Kayl kindly ignored these as he gestured to
the chair beside his cot.
"Thanks for letting me have the day out." He gave a half grin. "I was tempted
to get up and play in the yard with Barin," he saw her frown and raised a hand.
"But I was a good lad and stayed put."
"Good." She touched his raised hand softly and he watched her fingers, but only
for an instant before he caressed them lightly then slipped his hand back down
to his cot.
"I heard about Dare," he admitted, his half grin beginning to widen. "I decided
I could be patient."
She smiled at him, a little wan, but a smile nonetheless. "As a reward,
tomorrow you can walk to the back yard for lunch. Then back when you're done."
"Thank you, Saria. Escorted, I suppose?"
"Of course and go slowly." She looked around. Shaeeah was gathering some of the
regulars for a game of team chase. Echo was already laughing, planning strategy
with Jek and Checkout. "I'll send Kix and Edge when you're ready to go inside."
"Not for a while, Saria." Kayl looked at the players and then he glanced down
at the wooden boards of the porch. "Maybe … not all night?" he asked looking
up, questions in his eyes.
Her lips narrowed, as she considered. "We'll see after dinner. Do you have
anyone who will stay with you?"
Kayl smiled hopefully. "Djinn said he would, if you agreed." He pointed. Djinn,
on Shaeeah's team, was already conspiring with Numa and Boil. Boil, glancing in
their direction, caught Saria's eyes and held them a moment.
She turned back to Kayl and nodded. "If I agree, I'll talk to Djinn."
Jester had one foot on the first step, as did Crux. There was no room between
them. She stood and turned toward the steps, head high.
"Crux," she smiled and held out her hand. He moved forward with a smile and
took her hand.
"Saria, I would like to ..." He caught her look and changed what he was going
to say. Absently, Saria noted he was very good at that. "To ask you a few
questions and was wondering if I could ask while I escorted you to the med
barn?"
"Of course, Crux." They stepped past Jester and Saria couldn't help grabbing
Crux's hand tightly. He seemed not to notice.
"I am sorry, Saria." Jester's voice was so quiet only she and Crux heard him.
He hadn't moved, his foot on the first step, his face looking down.
Saria didn't look at him, afraid she'd break, afraid she'd cry or yell or
scream or hit him with her fists. Afraid she'd hate him. Already, she could
feel new tears starting to form in her eyes.
"Give me time to heal, Jester. Maybe we can salvage friendship." Her own voice
was no louder than his had been. She saw his tiny nod. Saria went with Crux.
Crux chewed the inner portion of his mouth as he escorted her back to the med
barn. Intersexual social relations were a lot more complicated than they
appeared, more than what any brother had indicated.
"What? No questions?" She asked softly, her hand relaxing.
"Lots of questions," he replied, glancing at her. "I just don't know where to
begin." His eyes narrowed and he looked down at their clasped hands. "Is now a
good time to propose?"
"Excellent question. No, it would be a disaster and I'm very grateful to you
for not proposing on the porch. Thank you." She let go of his hand.
"I saw that in your face," he nodded, absently rubbing his hand. She saw she'd
left fingernail marks. "Do I understand correctly that you and Jester used to
be engaged but not anymore and that you are expecting," he paused. "a child?"
"That's a rude question and usually would get you slapped, but given these
circumstances..." She sighed. "That is correct."
Crux nodded as his brows furrowed. They reached the med barn door where Edge
waited. Crux, another question on his lips, walked in with her, only to run
into Edge blocking his path.
"Edge," exclaimed Crux. "I'm talking to Saria."
Edge ignored him, turning to Saria. "You've had a stressful day, Saria. Would
you like to rest before dinner? I can  bring it in to you when I bring Kayl's.
If you'd like."
"Thank you, Edge," she smiled. It was an unexpectedly kind offer from the blue-
eyed man and one of the longer speeches the brusque trooper had said in her
presence. "I appreciate the offer, but I can manage. Crux does have some
questions." Edge shot Crux a frown, thinking he knew what kind of questions,
but moved aside for him.
"I also need to tend to some scratches he has. Kayl will probably be spending
the night on the porch," Saria continued. "Djinn will be there so we need to
talk to him. You go relax a while; they're setting up for chase. I'll be here."
"If you're sure..." Edge let the question linger for a few moments then nodded
and strode toward the front of the house to join in the games with Shaeeah. The
dour trooper had turned out to enjoy the simple game more than almost anything
and it was only then his stern features relaxed. Most of the men would be
joining the game while some others would be helping Suu prepare dinner. A few
of the men would be at the thermal pool, whichever camp was assigned.
"Is it common for women to raise children without assistance?" Crux asked,
standing where Edge had stopped him.
"It's not uncommon. Sometimes with the child's father, sometimes with family,
or friends or alone. But it's difficult to do most things alone and children
are labor intensive." She sighed. "Let me check Dare and I'll be right back.
Crux nodded absently.
Dare was awake. "No hand signals at the moment, Dare," she told him. "It's just
a bad time for me." He patted her hand softly. She sighed. Was there anyone in
camp who hadn't heard or heard about the argument?
"Are you going to argue with me or Kix or Edge again about being escorted?"
Gently, he moved his head negative.
She reached up and brushed his hair away from his eyes. "I'm glad nothing
happened to you, Dare." His face relaxed at her touch. "If you would like, you
can go to the front porch to watch them play chase. You can have the freedom to
travel between the med barn and the front porch without escort. If you feel
faint, you sit down and put your head between your knees or you grab whoever
may be nearby to help you. Anyplace else, you will be escorted. Understood?"
He saluted then gently nodded. She heard him sigh as he went out the door to
watch - only watch - the game of team chase.
When Saria came back to Crux with some ointment for his hand, he had the stool
in front of him. He shrugged. "I thought you might like another shoulder rub."
"Yes, I'd love one." She smiled as she touched light dabs of ointment on the
crescent scratches her nails had put on his hand. "I believe it was going to be
a month's worth before you got up the nerve to propose?" She sat the ointment
aside, turned on the stool and his fingers touched her tense shoulders.
"The situation had changed, more information was gathered and a trooper is
nothing if not adaptable. Suddenly, everything was different. It seemed as
though proposing to you might yield more than a simple 'no'."
"You want a complicated 'no'," she joked. He was really very good at shoulder
rubs. Crux was quiet.
"I'm not sure what I want." He admitted. "But I see Cut's expression when he
looks at his wife or his kids and I know. I know, without any doubt at all,
that is what I want. That … certainty."
"Is that what you see when you look at Cut?" She murmured, feeling his hand
pressing firmly into her shoulders, relaxing her tight muscles.
"It's what I can identify. There's more, but I can't identify all those
emotions. I don't know what they are." He was silent as he pressed a sore spot
and she moaned softly deep in her throat.
"I want to know," Crux said much quieter after a moment. "And the way she looks
at him… I practically die just to watch her expression for him. Imagine what
I'd do if someone had that expression for me."
Saria leaned back against his strong legs, tears falling. She'd seen those
looks on Cut and Suu so often. It seemed like faith to her.
Crux noticed her tears. "Uh, should I leave?" he asked.
"No. Tears aren't always bad. Just extreme emotion. If you're talking to a
woman and she starts crying, give her a soft hug, ask her if she's ok, offer to
help if you can and you're willing. Don't run away, it's probably not you she's
crying about."
"Oh."
"I hope you took notes, there'll be a quiz later," she joked.
"What!" he exclaimed, not recognizing her tone.
"Just kidding. Because sometimes you can start in tears and end in laughter."
She sniffed. "And the other way, too."
His hands paused on her shoulders. She felt him lean over as he gently wrap his
arms around her.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Crux's voice was soft and low.
She nodded softly, her arms wrapping around his, tears in her eyes. "This.
Thank you. I don't think anything else, but the offer is appreciated."
"Are you crying because it will be difficult to raise a child alone?" he asked.
"I have friends and enough money to hire assistance," she said hesitantly. "And
it won't be as difficult for me as for some others. Mostly I'm crying because
I'm sad Jester doesn't believe the child is his. Because he…" She was quiet.
What Jester had said he wanted was between him and her.
Crux knew anyway. "Because he, like most of us brothers, would love to have a
child." His voice softened. "You will get proposals from men who only want a
child, Saria." He continued in his regular voice. "Shall I take the di'kut out
and beat sense into him?"
She muffled her laugher. "No."
"So there is nothing I can do for your crying?" He had pushed his chair back
and was squatting behind her, his arms still around her, but now the warmth of
his chest was against her back.
"This is good," she whispered, patting his hands around her. "Simply knowing
there is another human being who cares about me right now, you holding me.
That's about as much as possible, right now."
"Oh. Then lean back and truly relax," he instructed.
"Won't I tip you over?"
It was his turn to muffle his laughter.  "No," Crux answered simply.
Tentatively, she leaned. He was like a rock, unyielding. She leaned, letting
her muscles curve into his body. It was relaxing to simply let go of all her
tension, to lean into that strength, that warmth.
At some point she was vaguely, sleepily, aware that he had picked up her and
put her on a cot.
"I will come back later, Saria. I have more questions for you." He said softly
as he covered her with a blanket.
                            Out Processing III – Col
It only took one day longer before his turn and that was because Echo had
caught him sighing over the list the next morning.
"What's the matter, Col? I've heard that you have a clean physical and a clean
psyc." He laughed softly. "That's more than most everyone else here."
"Just anxious to get it done, si... I mean, Echo."
"I've heard that you have someplace to be. Ahsoka came in late the other night,
exhausted. Ship's not going anywhere for about a ten-day, but if you're eager
to get the debrief done, I'll trade you."
"Would you?" Col's eyes brightened.
Echo shrugged. "Even once I get cleared, I'm pretty much committed here until
there are a lot fewer men. Unlike Rex, I have no intention of doing debriefs."
Echo moved over to the list and changed their names. As easily and quickly as
that. "Hmm, looks like Chopper convinced Fives to trade with him. So, there's
Cut, I've heard his debrief will be pretty short. He's mostly acclimated by now
and that's one of the important things we're looking for. Not to mention he has
no inclination of every leaving Saleucami."
Col's ears turned a little red. Was that a hint?
"Rex took a while, a long while. Then Chopper, then you." Echo smiled at Col.
"Is that a little better for your timetable?"
Col laughed. "Yes sir, yes Echo. Thank you." He bowed his head for a moment.
Echo's generosity had been a gift. Cut had told them there was no need to repay
a gift, that it was a gift to the giver as well as the recipient. That hadn't
made a lot of sense to Col. He pulled out the holovid. "Would you like to see
my reasons for going?"
Echo nodded. "I think I would, Col."
Col flicked on the holovid. Echo smile to see Ehveen. It was rumored that he'd
be a father in half a year's time as well.
"That's worth hurrying," said Echo as he put his hand on Col's shoulder. "Even
if it's been years, it's still worth hurrying."
                         ------------------------------
Rex had finished his debrief with Cody and Col could tell a lot of worry and
anger and frustration had been dragged out of both of them. Apparently they had
debriefed each other in those two days. Now, they both looked clean, new. Cody
walked lighter, as though he were no longer carrying a heavy burden. Rex didn't
have that dark air about him that said he was looking for something to hit,
hurt or destroy. He was heard to laugh occasionally.
Rex asked if Col would prefer to be debriefed by him; he still wasn't cleared
by psyc, or would he prefer to wait on Cody who was talking with Cut.
Rex had chuckled. "It won't take long for Cut. He's had more years with Suu
than the GAR and she's a thorough debriefer in her own way."
"Actually, Captain, sir. You. Rex. Sir." Col bit his tongue. It was one thing
to call Sergeant Kix or ARC Sergeant Echo by name. It was something totally
different to call this man, who wore his captain's rank like he wore his
clothes, by the plain moniker of 'Rex'.
He saw Rex hide his mouth behind his hand, trying to keep a straight face, and
not succeed.
Col gave that up for the moment. "You sir. I'll have a lot to say about prison
and Cody was there. He doesn't have to hear it again."
"And I do?" asked Rex with a softly pained expression. Col thought about that
for a moment, recalling his interviews with Kix and Sula.
"Maybe not," he conceded. "It's not like the physical or psyc briefings have
been like GAR, Imperial or prison. Why should this one? What do you need to
know?" He paused, put the name to his lips. "What do you want to know, Rex?"
"Tell me about Order 66. That's where it all begins. For all of us."
Col sighed. "I was on New Plympto with General Windu and the 187th. He'd gone
back to Coruscant to confer with the Jedi council. We didn't know about what.
Not then. Now we know he was killed trying to illegally arrest now-emperor
Palpatine. There are still a lot of questions I'd like to have answered."
Rex nodded. "Still a lot of questions everyone would like to have answered. You
aren't the only one. Even some on the old senate have quiet questions."
Col nodded, taking in the implications then continued. "General Jennir was also
there on New Plympto with his command. I don't know if he was a traitor before,
but after Order 66 didn't get him, he was." Col gave a half-laugh. "I don't
blame him. I didn't blame him even before I turned traitor. The Nosaurians ran
a hell of a guerilla battle before he joined them; afterwards they were eating
us alive. So, the 501st was sent in."
Rex closed his eyes. There'd been good men in the 501st. There were still good
men there, he was sure of it, held prisoner by their programming and their
loyalty. Col waited until he had Rex's attention again. Until Rex's own private
pain was passed.
"It's called the Battle of Half Axe Pass and you can imagine what the troopers
call it." Col was quiet for a moment and his voice was soft. "We killed them.
We killed them all. Then we killed the wounded. Then we killed those who had
surrendered. We took their captured families, civilians, and sent them to Orvax
IV as slaves to pay for our troubles." Col looked down at his hands. Like so
many other brothers, he saw blood there. "And that was a little more killing
and a little more slavery than I was willing to tolerate."
Rex nodded. "Then what?"
"I didn't desert then. I requested a transfer to Kaliida Medical Station. I
have, had a secondary designation of files maintenance. I never thought I want
to use it but after what we did, being called a desk jockey or flimsi floozy by
some so-called 'hard-core' trooper wasn't going to be difficult at all."
Rex nodded and gestured to the scars on Col's knuckles. "And if it did bother
you, there was always one-on-one."
Col looked at the back of his big hands, at the scars there. "I was always good
at hand-to-hand. It came in helpful on Dantooine. I was too wounded to fight,
but showed Ehveen's eldest brother a few moves. He chose me to be his second,
giving advice, at the Culling Fair." Col smiled. "He won his section and that
gave us…" He stopped at the 'us' and looked at Rex.
Rex gave him a small nod and a barely perceptible smile. Col somehow knew he'd
already passed his debrief.
"That gave us breeding rights to one of the top nerf bulls in the hemisphere.
He later told me that he wouldn't have won without my advice." Col smiled, good
memories pulling at him.
"Back up to files, Col."
Col sighed. "I have to back up even further. Before New Plympto, the 187th was
sent to Ryloth, to free the city of Lessu with the 91st Recon. While looking
for the freedom fighters, we came across a battlefield. There were markers all
over the place, a lot of them for troopers. It was where General Di, Captain
Keeli and River Company made their last stand." Col shook his head. "It hurt to
think that so many brothers died. An entire company. After we'd taken the
planet, I went back to those markers. There was an old woman there. She pointed
out markers for me, told me what they said, why some faced sunward or had a
little knob on top. They buried General Di there, facing sunward for bravery,
all the trooper graves faced sunward."
He paused, took a deep breath. "There were three trooper markers with little
knobs on top, though one knob had been carefully removed and set beside the
marker. I asked her what those meant. 'Lineage', she told me. 'So their mothers
can show their children where they are buried'." Col's face twisted as he tried
to hid his tears. "I hadn't received the holovid from Ehveen and so the very
idea of one of us having children was a shock. I asked about the toppled knob;
that was a child that had died. The mother'd had no milk because of starvation,
the privations of war. I gave the old woman my rations and told her I'd come
back with more for the mothers. I did, too." Col sighed. "We stayed on Ryloth
for about a year and for about a year, I supplied those two mothers with
whatever I could. The Twi'leks were receiving supplies from the Republic but
there were always more people than supplies. I received the holovid when I was
on Ryloth and it seemed like a good omen. To know she was pregnant with my
child while I was helping the children of those two dead troopers."
Rex nodded. "Files?" he asked softly.
Col nodded and continued. "After New Plympto and my request for a transfer,
they sent me to Kaliida Medical. The main problem with files is you get a lot
of time to think. After Ryloth, all I could think of was Ehveen and my child,
those two children on Ryloth. I checked to see if there were any troops headed
to Dantooine. I'd transfer to go there, but it was a dead issue. I hadn't
seriously though about deserting. Not really, quite serious." Col glanced down,
his hands were shaking. He rubbed them together.
"The other problem with files is they can be read; have to be read for
maintenance and disposal. You would think the dead don't leave loose ends." Col
was quiet, his face twisting in odd ways, his fingers interlocked, a thumb
rubbing a scarred knuckle. "All battalions were required to send all the dead
trooper remains, such as could be acquired, back to Kamino." Col's expression
was distasteful. "Some of the dead troopers weren't … as dead as you would
think."
Rex took a sharp inhale. Col, having begun, couldn't stop.
"Brain dead was dead. Seventy percent loss of cerebral function was dead.
Seventy-five percent loss of mobility was dead. Paralysis from the T-7 vertebra
or higher was dead. Blindness was dead. Deafness was dead." Tears rolled down
Col's cheeks though he didn't notice. "It was cumulative."
"I came across Rider's file. I'd known him on Ryloth and, while he wasn't a
good friend, I had known him. So I read his file. He'd taken a grenade blast.
Most of his injuries were easily healed in a bacta tank. Except he'd lost an
eye and eighty percent of his hearing, so he was marked dead and his 'remains'
sent back to Kamino." Col sighed. "Then his file showed that he'd been re-
assigned back to the 187th. And the 212th. And the 33rd TAC. As well as on
Kamino marked 'Waiting reassignment'."
A chill ran through Rex's spine.
"That's when I decided to desert. That's when I decided to return to Dantooine
and never think about Kamino or clones or war ever again." Col bent his head
into his hands sobbing. Rex rubbed his back between his shoulder blades.
"That's enough for now, Col." He said softly. "We'll reconvene after lunch."
Col, his eyes still red and his emotions still jangled, could tell that Rex was
as glad for the break as he was.
Lunch, as usual, was bread and thin-sliced nerf for sandwiches with an
assortment of condiments and fruit. Nothing was needed but hands and Col was
glad to not have to return to camp for his plate. Sketch and Kayl were on the
front porch, the dejarit board between them, a couple of men behind each
competitor offering advice. Dare was holding a sandwich, presumably for Kayl,
looking at it wistfully.
Rex was sitting with Ahsoka, a half-eaten sandwich in hand, with his son,
Barin, climbing over him. Rex was laughing, trying to keep the sandwich from
dropping as he tried to hold Barin back in one arm. Barin was laughing,
reaching for the sandwich. Col watched for a while before looking to where Cut
and Suu sat together, talking softly. Col noticed Suu touched Cut a lot;
sometimes on the arm, sometimes on his face. He could see how much Cut loved
those touches. He knew he'd loved to be touched that way by Ehveen.
Col made himself a sandwich and went in search of either Fives or Echo –
whichever man was with his family. He needed to learn how a family behaved.
Rex was waiting when Col returned. "Sorry, sir." He winced as Rex ignored him.
"Sorry for the delay, Rex."
"No problem," Rex smiled. "I just sat down myself." He turned serious. "I'd
like your permission to talk to others about your files experience on Kaliida."
"It's yours, Rex." I don't want those memories. Discuss them with whomever and
whenever you feel right."
"Thank you, Col." Rex looked at his hands. "How about cooking, Col? If you were
dropped in the middle of nowhere, could you manage to feed yourself?"
Col laughed. "I helped prepare nerf and bantha from live animal to grill. In
the middle of nowhere on Dantooine; I could manage to collect a decent
selection of vegetables and fruits; more than enough for survival. Anywhere
else?" Col scratched his chin. "I'd have to find work. It would depend on the
planet, but I could always do manual labor, light mechanics, butchering nerf or
bantha. I could teach fighting, there's always someone paying for that. I
wouldn't want to, but I could also do office work, bodyguarding, bar bouncer or
fighting if I had to. I wouldn't do bounty hunting."
Rex nodded. "Decent enough ideas. How about money, Col? Have you ever handled
money? Ever bought anything?"
Col nodded. "It felt pretty weird. But Ehveen and I would go into the small
store to purchase things her family needed. One of the purchases seemed pretty
large, until I realized that she was ordering an entire quarter's worth of dry
goods, supplies, replacement parts. For that, she issued a voucher then went to
the bank to issue the credits then returned back to the store with the credit
slip. Let me tell you, that was tedious. Mostly, though, it was small
purchases. I did some odd work, small engine maintenance, when I was recovered
enough and received some credits. I did buy a few small things at the store, so
I have done that. I gave most of the credits I earned to Ehveen for helping
me." He paused. "She was angry and insulted. I didn't really understand the
reason for a long time. I don't think I understand it completely now."
"What would you do now, in those same circumstances?"
Col smiled. "I give her a kiss like I'd never kissed her before. I'd tell her
there was no way I could repay her; that my life was hers. The credits? I'd
probably buy something small, maybe candy for the family kids, maybe some nice
embroidery thread for her sister, maybe give them to her father for the clan."
Rex gave a soft laugh. "She'd probably accept that a lot better than credits."
"I know. One of her brothers told me how much I'd insulted her. I apologized to
her and then I apologized for still not understanding." Col hung his head and
sucked in the side of his lip. "That was about our last conversation before I
left. At least, when I left she wasn't still angry. She understood that I was
still a stranger to her ways. And she loved me."
How do you know that she loved you?
Col smiled. "Our last conversation didn't have any words."
Rex let that spoken memory soften the air; let Col wipe away his tears.
"Is there anything else you think I should know, anything else that might help
us, anything else that I can help you understand or answer for you."
"No, sir." Col looked down at his hands. The invisible blood seemed paler, less
evident.
There was one last thing. He reached out and grabbed Rex's arm in a brother's
clasp, then tugged him forward his other arm going around Rex's shoulders. Rex
hugged him back.
"Thank you, brother. Thank you, Rex."
***** Interludes in the Thermal Pool *****
                                  Cut and Suu
They were at the thermal pool, alone together. Fives had taken Keeli with a
wink and they had shooed away Jek and Shaeeah. Jek had been easy; one of the
men had promised to show him some wrestling moves and he'd run off to find
Baffle.
Shaeeah, slightly older, more attune to her own growing sexuality, had caught
the glimpses of fire in her father's eyes and the answering gleams in her
mother's. Curiosity had kept her nearby, until her father had yelled aloud;
that nothing was going to happen as long as she was hiding in the bushes and if
nothing happened he wasn't going to be happy. Only then did she go and Cut had
loved his wife in the warm waters.
Suu stroked her hand against Cut's cheek and her fingers combed into his thick
hair as he held her, one strong arm around her, the other behind his head as
they lay on a warm boulder. His satisfied smile warmed her heart. She laughed
softly, needing to hear his words. "Are you happy, Cut?"
"More than I can say, Suu. I can't imagine what my life would be like. What I
would be like without you." His face became contemplative. "Like my brothers
here; do you think?" His thick brows came down as he frownd. "Having them here
is painful in a way. It reminds me so much of my past. Reminding me of how I
was. But it's also…" He paused, searching for the word and found it by looking
at her face. "Hopeful."
He moved the arm from under his head and, turning toward her as she turned
toward him, stroked her face with the back of his fingers. "I've learned so
much from you. Not just from what you've shown me, but from dealing with you
and the kids. I've gained understanding as well as knowledge, wisdom as well as
intelligence."
She nodded, catching his fingers in her mouth and kissing them as he held them
still for her. He slid his hand toward the back of her head, softly rubbing her
lekku, squeezing gently. A sound of pleasure emanated from deep in her throat.
He smiled, joy crinkling the skin around his eyes as he kissed her, and then
began nuzzling her neck "Especially Keeli. I had no idea a baby was that
enlightening. Every time I hug him or tuck him in and sing him a lullaby, I
want to come running to you. I want to run up to you and get on my knees and
thank you for the magnificence of him."
She chuckled. "What keeps you from doing so?" He blushed as he brought his head
to face her then smiled.
"Because it's usually not quite appropriate and the kids would get strange
ideas." His grinned widened. "And, just imagine the effect on all my brothers."
She kissed him, her hands caressing his face, laughing. "Sometimes, I see that
in your eyes, Cut. It just makes me weak all over. It makes me catch my breath.
If you ever do drop to your knees, be prepared to catch me." Her face became
thoughtful, she kissed him again then let go and pushed herself with a gentle
move to drift to the middle of the pool. He watched her pink body shimmering in
the ripples of the water, smiling. She floated. He sank. As she watched him, he
raised an eyebrow lasciviously. She giggled and swam toward him, her arms
curling around his neck, her fingers drinking in his warmth as she touched him.
He held her to him, simply feeling the touch of her skin against his, the beat
of her heart against his chest.
"I love you, Suu. I would give you anything I can." He tilted his head and
searched her face. "You've heard all this about sharing," his voice was soft.
"If you want another man, I can share with my brothers." He gave a nervous
laugh. "I never thought about it. You and the kids are everything I want.
More," he laughed again, more fully. "More than I can handle at times."
She chuckled softly. "I have never thought of sharing you, Cut and I do not
want anyone but you.  I look at you and I am very possessive." Suu reached her
face to his, her arms on either side of his hips as she floated above him. "And
I desire no one else." Softly she stole a kiss from his lips. "But there is
something I do want."
"What, Suu?" He stole back the kiss, leaning back on the stone so she was
barely above him, supported by the water and admiring the things buoyancy did
to a woman's body.
"Another child." Her words were soft in his ear. He sat up slowly, the weight
of her body settling on his as he moved.
"Suu, I don't want to lose you." His arms held her as his face twisted in pain.
"You could have died. If Jester hadn't been there ..." Cut left the sentence
unfinished, though the memory of seeing her convulsing, pale and incoherent, on
the floor slammed in his mind. "To go through that again..." He closed his eyes
tightly, hugging her tightly; then opened his brown eyes to her blue ones and
slowly shook his head.  "I can't do that again, Suu."
"Just because it happened once doesn't mean it will happen again." Suu spoke in
a low voice. "I've spoken with Dr. Chymdura. His opinion is the problem was
caused by the overwork and Saria agrees. That was a bad season for us, Cut; a
lot of work. Do you think that would be a problem this season or the next?" Her
smile was bemused and her eyes sparkled.
Cut opened his mouth to object and then closed it with a sigh. He hugged her
closer, turning both of them on their sides, the warmth of her body a charm
against bad thoughts. "No," he murmured. "Jester's good and knows the farm now.
As for help," he gave a soft laugh. "I think most of my brothers will be here
for the next couple of seasons. Some, probably," his eyes were sad, "until they
die. We'll have to temporarily expand just to keep them busy. Find them some
work somehow. Maybe a luxury crop – labor intensive. Good, hard work."
Suu nodded. "Boil, Waxer and Numa will be here for a while. Waxer is talking in
terms of years and if Boil or Numa disagree, they haven't said so. Numa,
Shaeeah and Jek could take over most of my work if there was any indication of
a problem and Saria will probably be here also."
"I love you, Suu. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know if I
could go on." His eyes were soft. "I'd have to be there; for Keeli especially,
but also for Jek and Shaeeah. They're not quite grown. But I'd only be half a
man." He laid his forehead on her shoulder. "Less even than when I'd been a
clone trooper. Now I know the value of what I have."
He kissed her shoulder, found her neck interesting for another nuzzle, then
another kiss on her lips. He leaned back, she rolled onto her back in the
water, and he pulled her next to him; partially held by the water, partially by
his arm around her. It offered an interesting view of her anatomy interspersed
with the ripples of movement. Buoyancy! He softly growled his appreciation in
her ear. She reached back to curve her arms around his neck.  He twisted one
arm around her waist, holding her close to him.
He rubbed his chin with a finger. He needed a shave. He'd been staying in the
camp with his men and not taking any privileges beyond what they had. Ahsoka
had brought in grooming supplies so they had those now. Already, some of the
men were clean-shaven. He'd shave, Suu like his face clean. His hair he'd leave
long for her fingers to comb.
"I think it's about time to start taking Shaeeah into town more often when I
go. Jek too, occasionally. They both need to learn. They’re not kids anymore."
"You're right. They do need to learn." She curled deeper into his arms, her
fingers caressing his bare chest. "I can't promise anything, Cut. Neither can
you. Neither of us can promise more than now. I love you. I will love you until
I die."
He nodded. "I will die with your name on my lips and, hopefully, your warm
kisses there, too," he promised and she smiled. Cut kissed her then looked into
her eyes thoughtfully.
"I did love the way you felt in my hands while you were pregnant. I loved
feeling Keeli move in your belly." His fingers spread over her flat belly,
lingered, feeling her delightfully pink skin. "I'd love another child, too. I'm
just scared for you."
Her blue eyes looked at him, drinking in his features, memorizing every line of
his face as she did most days. "And I'm scared for you, Cut. Every time you go
into town, I'm afraid someone, some bounty hunter, will recognize you and try
to collect." She leaned her forehead on his chest; just the thought of losing
him brought tears to her eyes. "I'm afraid one day you will not come home. But
I don't stop you from going because you enjoy it. You enjoy the business end of
the farm, taking the grain for sell, bargaining over the price. You're much
better at it than I was. And I know that my fear is much larger than the actual
odds of you being recognized."
He chuckled. "Chios says it was a bad day for him when he introduced me to
you." He hugged her. "He always has a smile when he says it." His eyes narrowed
for a moment, planning. "If Jester will supervise here at the farm, I can work
at the warehouse for a season. Maybe two. Rex and Echo can supervise here as
well. Shaeeah and Jek are well acquainted with this end of the business." He
smiled at her. "A few extra credits are always useful and I'd be..."
"Cut! You'd be in the middle of town where anyone…" Suu objected until his lips
covered hers. Only after he'd kissed her breathless did he continued.
"Where anyone could be talking and I'd hear it all." He kissed her quiet, then
again, just because he loved her. "Any gossip, any news of someone 'new' in
town. Any hint of Imperials or bounty hunters. It all goes to the work district
first."
"Chios would want to know why you're working. We've been doing very well and
he'd ask."
"That's easy, love." Cut whispered softly, his soft lips barely caressing hers,
a smile on his face as his fingers caressed her belly. "We're hopeful for
another child and babies always take extra money."
                             Fives, Sula and Saoha
Saoha laughed gently as she quickly swam away from Fives' grip.  He could swim,
but it required more effort than he was willing to exert at the moment.
"Just wait until the next time it’s null grav in the ship, Sa'. I'll be coming
after you." He laughed, shook droplets of water from his long hair and reached
back to pull himself next to Sula on one of the warm boulders. Still, he
watched Saoha. The green-blue water rippled over her dusty-rose body in
wonderful patterns. Sula ran her hand through his hair, a question in her
fingertips, and he murmured in contentment and laid his head on her thigh
gazing into her dark eyes.
"I have two wonderful wives and, now, a beautiful baby girl." He answered. She
leaned forward and kissed his forehead. He reached up and guided her lips to
his.
"And your brothers are here and you are a hero to many of them." She felt that
wonderfully deep contentment in his heart, the love and strength that simply
seemed to overflow from him. It made him a very popular man on Zeltros. They'd
met many people; singles, couples, families who'd offered to merge with them.
He would have been safe on Zeltros, if confined to a single planet. He had
decided to run before the emperor had consolidated his power over the Inner
Rim. Sula and Saoha had come with him.  "You will always be a hero to me,
Fives." Sula whispered into his ear.
Fives felt Saoha's hand and her cheek against his leg, her kiss on his ankle as
she agreed with her sister. He reached down and curled his fingers in her hair.
Remembering how furiously she'd attacked him when he'd first seen them, chained
to a slaver's bed; giving her all in bed or battle. They had given their all to
him. They were his heroes.  He had so much love. Sometimes Fives felt that if
he flipped himself inside out, he could fill the galaxy overflowing with love.
"Come on up here, Sa'. Let's talk." He gave a gentle tug to a lock of her long,
rose-purple colored hair.
Easily, she pulled herself on the stone to lie next to him, her head next to
his on Sula's thigh, her hand on his chest. Sula smiled and began to braid her
sister's hair. Fives softly stroked Saoha's lovely body. He was done for the
day. He felt Saoha's question in her touch and grinned lustfully. Well, at
least until after dinner.
"I've determined that we can manage with taking only one contract every twenty-
five days and still come out slightly ahead for the next half-year." Fives
said. "Ahsoka was pretty surprised, but relieved to find out she didn't have to
pilot every other day. In the coming weeks, as we start to move some of the
men, we can pick up side contracts. Col wants Dantooine and, as soon as we know
the timeframe I'll get a delivery contract." Absently, he pulled Saoha closer
to him and hooked his hand under Sula's leg, drinking in the familiarity of
their bodies next to his. "I know we can't use Checkout, Backup or Riven as
pilots but we can use them as navigators, co-pilots, and crew. So you wouldn't
have to go every trip, Sa'."
Saoha nodded. "Riven wants, so badly, to get back on a ship. Each morning he
goes up on the hill after breakfast and simply looks at the ship." She bowed
her head, "Sometimes he cries, combined joy and want. He offered to help when I
was realigning the breather gaskets but I had just finished."
Fives nodded. "Shall I talk to Ahsoka about taking Riven?" He gave Sa' a kiss,
then relaxed his arm around her.
"If he's passed his physical and psyc by then," amended Sula. "Until then, Sa',
I would say let him assist. Perhaps he has excellent mechanic skills as well."
"I shall let him know to work on those." Saoha sat up and moved behind her
sister to run her fingers through her blue-black hair and braid curls into it.
"And I will make sure to be working on something each morning. It will give him
so much pleasure to assist."
Fives nodded, continuing. "I've told Rex that we'll be transporting the men
free or at quarter point. He insists that we keep track and let him know how
much our costs run. It's a matter of pride for him and I suspect he'll insist
on paying." Fives smiled. "I've got my pride so he won't be paying any more
than half."
Saoha spoke. "You'll have to allow Cut to make a contribution for his pride as
well, so you won't be paying more than a third."
"I hadn't thought of that," frowned Fives. "I don't think Cut and Suu have a
lot of credits; their credits were buried in the farm and equipment."
Sula smiled. "Insist that you and Rex pay him rental for the camping grounds
and the barn. I can see a lot of late night calculations but very few actual
credits changing hands."
Fives laughed, nodding
"Give every man his pride," Saoha's soft voice whispered as she wrapped her
arms around her sister, softly nuzzling her neck. "Sign them on as crew to
their destination and insist on Corellia union pay - half-point apprentice.  It
would also be a reference for future work."
Fives chuckled. "Didn't I say I had two wonderful, brilliant wives?"
"I missed 'brilliant' the first time around," remarked Saoha. For a moment, she
basked in the contentment and love of her sister and of her husband.
"Are you both going to be able to manage the emotions flowing around?" Fives
voice was concerned.
"As long as you're around, Fives, to brace us, it won't be difficult." Saoha
began another braid in Sula's hair.
Sula's agreed with a touch. "Ahsoka, Saria, Cut or Suu would be good also for
stability. Rex, Echo, Cody to a lesser extent. Waxer, Chopper and Edge as
well."
Fives raised an eyebrow. "Chopper?"
Saoha nodded. "Whatever you believe was wrong with him is no longer a problem.
He has consolidated. He has his fears, but they are no longer what control him.
He has started to explore who he is and he is coming to like himself."
"Whatever my wise wives say." He smiled. Some things were simply good to know.
"Will you want us in the psyc evals with you or should one of us just be
nearby," he gestured with his hand. "Say within, twenty meters of the barn?"
"Fifty would be fine, Fives," answered Sula.
"Except in a few extreme cases; Jesse, Riposte, Shy. We'd need you, possibly in
the barn itself," continued Saoha.
Sula nodded, agreed in her touch and spoke. "Probably within five meters. And
it will have to be you or Ahsoka."
Fives eyebrows rose. "They don't seem so emotionally ravaged as all that."
"They are afraid someone will see how badly they are injured. They are
frightened they will be discarded. They are hiding from others and from
themselves." Saoha smiled sadly. "Like Rex did, standing up to the pain because
they know no other way or …"
"... because they can imagine worse or have known worse. They are bleeding
inside, like Kayl, only emotionally." Sula moved her fingers as she started
braiding a strand of his hair.
"I'll be there." he promised. "Sketch can care for the peach?"
"Sketch, any of Cut's family, Col. Aureki, Echo, Ahsoka. Probably some other of
your brothers by then. Sketch is best," Sula smiled. "The little peach really
likes him."
Fives laughed. "I'll tell him that."
"I like him, too." Saoha's voice was soft and she smiled. "I like so many of
your brothers, Fives."
He turned to face her, Sula letting the braid slip from her fingers as he
turned, to pick up another lock of his hair. He felt their contentment with all
that life had to offer.
"So we come to this decision." Fives smiled. "Shall we add to our family?" He
reached out, touching both of them, letting them see his satisfaction with
them, with his child, with his life as it was; but also his willingness to add
to his family, with his delight they would choose from his brothers. The
sharing of pleasure and the pleasure of sharing.
"I am open to sharing you," began Sula to both her sister and her husband.
"Right now, I am taken with baby and have not looked for any interest and," she
mock-glared at Fives. "I am piqued that your brothers have not found me of
interest."
Saoha giggled. "You've spent all your time in the med barn; they haven't seen
your beauty, only your determination. When you're out in the back yard, you
have baby peach with you and she's feeding. Most of them studiously avoid
looking at that so they cannot see you. Truly Sula, let them see you without
the baby and they'll take an interest." Softly she stroked the underside of
Sula's full, heavy breasts with a finger, gently cupping them in her hands as
she leaned against her sister's back. "Most of them would give their left arm
to do even so much as that, sister."
Sula smiled. "And you, sister. Have you found interest among Fives' brothers?"
"So much interest, my wonderful sister." Saoha released her sister from the hug
and lay back on the rock, feeling its eternal warmth. "From a desire to simply
run his fingers through my hair, which I shall grant tonight; from a desire to
have an innocent hug to desires that make my blood run hot and make me come in
search of Fives and breathlessly pull him to privacy." She rolled closer to
Fives. "To the first tentative wisps of love."
"Really, Saoha, you'll have to search for me a little harder. I'm willing."
Fives grinned, pulled her closer and kissed her neck. "I'm more than willing,"
he whispered lustily, running his tongue against her skin.
"I am willing to open our family," Saoha nibbled Fives shoulder and ran her
hand over his chest.
"As am I, and honored you'd chose from my brothers." Fives nibbled Saoha's ear
then sat to give Sula a kiss, sliding his tongue between her lips. She sucked
softly on his tongue and he felt her hand slide up to little brother to give
him an affectionate brush of her fingertips.
Maybe before dinner. He stood and sighed. "I think our time here is up. I hear
the next group coming." He looked down at his beautiful, desirable, brilliant
wives. Dusty rose Saoha, ruby red Sula. There was no man as lucky as he. "Can
you tell which group?"
"Medical," answered Saoha. "Kix, Edge, Dare, Kaver and Riposte."
"Are you going to stay? Flirt with them?" He asked with his pirate's smile,
several unfinished braids in his hair.
"Not for long," answered Sula. "Baby peach will want me soon." She smiled into
her husband's gaze. "But for a while." She glanced at Saoha. "To see if there
is any interest for me without our peach."
Saoha smiled. "A long while for me, I think."
"If you wish to enjoy another man tonight," began Fives.
Saoha shook her head. "They are not settled or sure yet. Perhaps in the coming
days." She smiled her beautiful smile. "But I will be here for a while; perhaps
until after dinner depending on the next group. Dare has a wonderful turn of
mind that has become sharper as he can't speak, sweet innocent Kaver blushes
wonderfully, Riposte needs loving touches." She waved at the group coming into
view but still a distance from the cave opening. "Edge is simply…" she
shrugged, lapsing into Zeltron, "k'u htwa. And Kix," she smiled at her handsome
husband, "Kix would enjoy your company immensely."
"And I would enjoy yours tonight, wife." He told her quietly and kissed her
softly on her head. Fives pulled on his pants, tossing his shirt over his
shoulders and turned to the oncoming group. "Hi Kix, Edge, all. Would you mind
if Sula and Saoha stayed with you a little longer into your time? Sula's…"
"We'd love their company, Fives. You, too if you'd like," replied Kix. There
were nods of agreement from the men as they began divesting themselves of their
shirts. Only Edge had no hesitation with removing his pants in front of the
women and Fives wondered what that Zeltron word, 'k'u htwa' meant. He
considered himself fairly fluent, but he hadn't heard that word. Absently, he
waved his hand in negation.
"Would love to, but I have a few tasks to do before dinner, like rescuing
Sketch from our little golden peach," he laughed.
"Don't bother," came Edge's gravelly voice as he lowered himself slowing into
the hottest area of the pool with little hisses of pleasure. "He adores her."
Fives smiled as he strode off; even as he saw Sula hold her hand out to the
battered and wary Riposte, inviting him to sit, and Saoha settling herself
between silent Dare and dour Edge. Kix was removing the sling from Kaver's arm
and, for a moment, Fives eyed him speculatively.
                                Boil and Waxer
Boil lay against the stones in the hottest part of the pool he could stand. His
eyes were closed, his arms spread out and his head back. There was a lazy half-
smile on his relaxed face, he looked several years younger. Sexual satisfaction
filled his body; satisfaction of a totally different sort filled his heart.
Cut had said these boulders were warmed by subterranean lava influx that in a
thousand thousand years or so would fill the little cave. Boil didn't know, he
didn't care. It was luxurious. He'd worry in a thousand thousand years.
"Boil,"
"Hmm?" asked Boil.
"What are we going to do about Numa?"
Boil partially opened one eye to look at his brother, his partner, his some-
time lover, his other half. Waxer was standing, chest deep in the water,
droplets clinging to his skin, a frown on his face.
Boil chuckled, Waxer had grown his hair in Boil's absence, but he'd convinced
Waxer to return to a shaved head as soon as grooming supplied had been handed
out. He found it so much more attractive. Although, he preferred his women
lovers with long tresses to wrap his fingers in. Still, he'd seen Asajj
Ventress once, taking on Kenobi, and he'd never been so hard for a woman. Maybe
that had been because of her movement; she had moved like lightning wrapped in
satin. Fives, with his long wavy hair and pirate air, was also attractive. Boil
would love to wrap his fingers in Fives hair, holding him. He wondered how much
Fives and his wives shared, absently calculating permutations adding himself
and Waxer. He breathed in deeply, remembering the curve of Sula's heavy
breasts, a dark blood red curve contrasting against the golden peach curve of
her daughter's skin as she fed the infant. Face it, Boil,he told himself, if
it's human...
"Question. Boil, resident sex maniac. Pay attention." Waxer's voice was amused
and his frown had turned into a lop-sided smile. They'd spent a long time apart
from each other. More time apart than together and Boil knew Waxer had been
afraid Boil had changed.
He hadn't, not in ways that counted to Waxer. He was more brittle than hard,
more pained than steady these days. He'd gone on at least one run every night
since they'd landed on Saleucami. It had been hard years for Boil as much as
for his imprisoned brothers. Perhaps harder; they'd at least, had each other.
Boil had stood alone, surrounded by men who would have tortured him for his
very thoughts, helping men who would kill him because they didn't know his
loyalty. One night he had quietly asked Waxer to simply hold him. That had been
so unlike the Boil Waxer had thought he'd known.
"Paying attention, Waxer.  What do you mean?"
"She's growing up." Waxer retorted.
"I noticed." Boil smiled at Waxer, "She's becoming a very graceful, strong,
confident, beautiful woman. You've done a good job. I wish I could take more of
the credit." Waxer smiled absently. Boil continued. "Is her growing up a
problem?"
"Maybe," muttered Waxer.
"We could always marry her off on Ryloth, Waxer, if it bothers you that much."
"This is serious, Boil."
"I am taking this seriously, Waxer. But I haven't been here for years." Boil
sat up on the boulder, bringing up one knee, locking his arms around it. "I
don't know how things are anymore. I have to rely on your judgment, relying on
you like we've always done with each other."
Waxer sighed. He leaned back in the hot water, letting himself fall and sink,
then standing. He liked the feel of sinking, the inevitability of slowing
moving to the bottom. Then he pushed himself up. He shook water droplets from
his face and wiped his face with his hands. "I'm scared, Boil. Scared that
somehow we'll mess up her life."
"That's a possibility, Waxer. But unlikely. We love her too much to do
something that will ruin her life. She's too strong to let us."
"Have you thought about the future?" Waxer leaned on the warm boulder, his chin
on his arms.
Boil sighed. "Not much. I left that to you and mostly thought about staying
alive and coming back to the two of you." Waxer reached out, his hand clasping
Boil's leg.
"You're back, Boil. You're alive." Waxer's voice was reassuring. Boil smiled
and, bending to the water, put his arm around Waxer's shoulder.
"Come up here, nerra. Tell me." This was family, taking on each other's
worries.
Waxer gracefully mounted the boulder sitting next to Boil. Boil gently traced a
white scar on Waxer's back, stretching almost from one shoulder to his opposite
hip. Boil had almost lost him then.
That scar had been an argument between them. Boil had disliked scars, had
mocked men with visible scars, even his commander, though that only in privacy
with Waxer. "Slow di'kut," he'd mutter, claiming he'd never have a lover with
those kind of scars. Waxer taking that scar had wiped the arrogance from Boil.
"Watch her, sometime. When she's watching me or if you can catch her, watching
you." Waxer said thoughtfully after a moment.
"What am I looking for?"
Waxer shook his head. "You'll see it. She stares at me and, yesterday I caught
her staring at you the same way. Just staring, contemplating. Sometimes sadly.
That's when I know she's thinking about our ages. Sometimes fiercely and I have
no idea what she's thinking then, but I wouldn't want to get in her way.
Sometimes she has a look that will just embed itself in your heart and stay
there." Waxer stared at the water, frowning.
Waxer was silent for a moment and Boil, knowing his brother, waited.
"Once, I happened to glance into a mirror and saw a look on Numa's face that
matched the look Suu gives Cut or Ahsoka gives Rex."
Boil sighed. "Wouldn't that be kind of normal? We're her nerra, her brothers
and guardians and protectors all rolled into one.
"Just be on the watch for it, Boil." Waxer scratched his face. "I don't think
she wants us as brothers and guardians. Maybe we can ask Saria or one of Fives
wives to have a talk with her?"
Boil raised an eyebrow.
"I'm serious, Boil."
"I'll see to it, Waxer. I'll ask one of them." Boil smiled as he lay back on
the boulder, his head on Waxer's arm. He'd been subtle with the lovely Saria.
Perhaps he would talk with her again. He should teach her to share. There were
so many more permutations in sharing; so much more to receive, so much more to
give.
He and Waxer were an excellent example, a balanced pair; Waxer's patience in
contrast to his eagerness, Waxer's introspection to his action-oriented view,
Waxer's volubility to his aloofness. Waxer was a kind and generous lover, a
good father, a hard worker, someone you could depend on. An excellent partner
in all things. And himself? Boil laughed. He was lucky.
On the other hand, if he went to Sula or Saoha this time, he could flirt with
her, find out how much she and her family shared. He could feel warmth flow
through his body, centering on his groin and he purred deep in his throat.
"Resident sex maniac, indeed," muttered Waxer at his side.
                               Chopper and Saria
"Will you come down to the thermal pool with me, Saria?" asked Chopper. "Near
evening?" He grinned confidently but his tone was nervous. "Just the two of
us."
"How'd you manage that?" she asked with a smile and he knew she'd be there. She
saw his shoulders relax; his eyes crinkle at the corners.
"I traded duties with the other men in camp. Except Cody. He gave it as a
gift." His face got a distant look. "Sometime, I'd like to talk about gifts."
"Maybe this evening? At the pool." she offered and he nodded.
He was there, in the water when she arrived and she knew he'd planned that.
Scars covered his shoulders like a mantle. In the crystal clarity of the water
she could see that he was naked and the scars wandered down his body. She
almost mistook his scars for ripples in the water. He watched her observe his
scars, waiting for ... What, she wondered. She saw his maleness and, blushing,
looked away.
"I, uh, calibrated my deece, earlier and, unless you do something pleasantly
unexpected, I'm good." He turned his head, a soft red coloring his cheeks. He'd
heard about Djinn's embarrassment. "And if you do something pleasantly
unexpected," he laughed. "That would be good, too." "Come on in, the water's
fine. I'll keep my eyes closed while you get in."
She laughed at that. "That water's so clear, it won't matter."
"Probably true. But I know there's a difference between being seen in air and
being seen in water."
Yes, he would know. "Ok, no peeking," she admonished playfully.
"Now where's the fun in that?" he joked and she laughed. It was a common
catchphrase she'd heard from some of the troopers. She turned her back and
pulled her shirt over her head. Then, just as quickly, removed her soft, cotton
pants. He had peeked; she heard his sharp intake of breath when she'd bent to
remove her pants. She slipped into the hot water, a slow volley of ecstatic
groans coming from her throat. "That. Feels. So. Good."
"Been busy? Overworked?" he asked, his eyes shut again.
"Yes. I've been researching pre-op for Sketch. It's lots of deep concentration
and reading. I have the bad habit of leaning on my elbows with my cheeks in my
hands." She was in the water and glanced at his face, amused to find his eyes
still shut. "You can open your eyes, Chopper." They remained closed and he
pulled on his lower lip with this teeth.
"I was wondering," he asked softly. "If you'd sit beside, rather than across
from me. It would be easier to look in your eyes, when we talk, instead of me
staring at you."
She moved, making her own ripples in the water, swimming the depth of the
middle. He'd opened his eyes partly when she hadn't replied and at the noise of
her movement. He reached out his hand. Chopper could see her body through the
water. The ripples only made it interesting. When Saria was close enough, he
took her hand and pulled her closer, observing that breasts floated.
He was quiet.
"Thinking about calibrating that deece again?" she asked with a grin, having
seen his look at her breasts.
He laughed. "No, I haven't got that far yet. I was wondering what to talk about
and how to swim."
"Don't you swim?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No. Almost drowned in a river once but that's about as
close to swimming as I've been."
"Cut swims, but says it's exhausting and not something he'd do for fun. I'd do
it for fun."
Chopper shrugged. "Maybe it's our muscle ratio. It's slightly different for us
than for a human. Denser bone, too. Maybe that makes a difference."
"You're human."
He shrugged. "Some people don't think so." He ducked his head. "I do like null
gravity practice. That's fun. Maybe that's like swimming."
Saria's eyes were wide. "Null gravity? With rocket packs? That must be
exciting."
"It is. Especially when they give us the rockets before we're really ready for
them." He grinned.
"Ouch." She winced in imaginary sympathy.
Chopper laughed. "Yeah, it was like that. Twenty cocky guys who thought they
knew how to fly. My first day I ended up blue and purple, aching all over, but
the physical freedom was wonderful. Eventually, I became very good." His face
became solemn.
"Sad thoughts," she asked.
"Sort of, sort of not. Wistful thoughts, maybe. Or nostalgic." He shrugged,
speaking softly. "Just wondering where some of those guys are now. Sinker was
one. He was good. Boil helped him out. None of the other guys I trained with
are on either list."
"I'm sorry." Her hand touched his arm, near his wrist. He hesitantly turned his
hand palm up and her fingers slid into his hand, intertwining with his fingers.
He breathed deeply, simply looking at their intertwined fingers.
"Thank you."
She wasn't sure if it was for the words or for the touch.
"Show me some swimming. If you would, Saria?" he asked before the silence
became embarrassing.
"Certainly, but you'll have to …" she lifted their joined hands.
"If I must." He grinned as he released her hand. He was happy, as if nothing
else in his life had been so carefree. She dove under the surface of the water
before tears could show.
He watched as she swam in the water. Sometimes she dove into the deepest part
of the pool and Chopper, worried, watched her carefully, calculating that even
if he sank, he could still climb the boulders to the water's surface within a
few seconds, the key being to not panic. Mostly she swam back and forth,
sometimes in the water and sometimes under, looking like some mythical undine
enjoying the freedom of near-weightlessness. The ripples made it very
tantalizing.
Saria returned to the stone he was sitting on and sat next to him, wringing the
water from her sandy blonde hair, water droplets on her skin. Her entire body
was flushed with the exercise. He dropped his face and she laughed softly,
tilting her face below his. He raised his head with a smile.
"Better," she said. "Why do you do that?"
"Different reasons. It used to be because I didn't want people to notice the
scars. That didn't work much," He chuckled. "But with my head down I didn't
have to see their eyes. Then, because I was ashamed of being me. I thought I
was deficient in some way." He thought a moment. "Those were bad times for the
most part. I couldn't understand why my sergeant was never satisfied with me. I
worked hard." He frowned and Saria could tell there was still regret. He
shrugged. "He was playing with my mind, keeping me unsettled. I was being
groomed for failure and got a bit … self-destructive.  That was his aim. But
that's where I first met both Jester and Sketch." He looked at her for a
moment. "After that the 501st took me. Rex and Ahsoka worked hard to re-make me
back into a good trooper. I didn't understand why they bothered because I was a
deficient failure just waiting for a decent death. So, I'd drop my head because
I didn't know how else to react to honest praise." He leaned back, silent. He
looked at her and she knew he couldn't continue his story then. "I guess now
its habit."
His arm came up around her and then paused before his skin touched her.
"Go on, it's one of the nice things about sitting together." she encouraged
softly.
He let his arm hugged her loosely. "What else is nice about it?"
"We have that face to face," she turned her head, watching him. He was
delighted, embarrassed, hesitant, inexperienced, wanting … it all showed on his
face.
"The closeness is nice." She moved the short distance between them. His arm
naturally tightened around her. "There are some other advantages we may get
into later."
"I can see one." He said softly, staring at her lips.
"That is one of the best," she admitted. This time, she ducked her head. She
wasn't ready for kisses. Not yet.
Chopper was quiet, his eyes watching her. One eye was a golden brown, the other
a pale yellow green. There were some milky inclusions in his green eye. The
medical portion of her mind diagnoses partial blindness in that eye. She was
getting use to the way one scar interacted with his grin, getting use to the
way his eyes sparkled when he saw her, getting use to the way he anticipated
needs. Under the angry red scars on his face were old, silvered ones; not quite
as even as the new ones. He saw her watching his face.
"The prison guards decided that fate hadn't been symmetrical enough," he said
softly.
"May I touch them." she asked. "Not professionally, but curiously?" He thought
about that for a moment, his brows furrowed, understandably hesitant to offer
his scars to a stranger's fingers. "To touch your skin," she elucidated softly,
"to touch and feel you." He nodded slowly.
"Though I have other scars that I'd much rather you touch." he said with a
quick glance downward and then into her eyes.
"That, my dear Chopper, is an outrageously flirtatious statement." she said as
she smiled. He smiled back as he sank down in the pool a bit so she could touch
him without too much stretching. Her fingers traced the old scars first. On his
face back by his jaw, moving up to his cheek under his eye in a vague X and up
toward his forehead. His scars moved into his hairline and she combed her
fingers through his short hair feeling the track of the pebbled skin.
"Oh! It's where your hair is silver," she exclaimed. He shrugged a shoulder.
"I was thinking about shaving it again." he said. "I kept my head and face
shaved when I was a trooper. It became habit. It's much easier to care for in
the field, less prone to pests or catching in the helmet electronics. And the
scars," He thought a moment. "Intimidated the rookies, made them listen to me.
They didn't make me a sergeant until right before the whole mess; but Rex had
me lead a squad now and then or put me in with a rookie sergeant because I was
experienced." He smiled and Saria noticed the pride in his voice.
"I like it." Her fingers combed through his hair.
"It stays." He decided, his eyes closed. "Especially if you run your fingers
like that through it often. Or even occasionally. That feels good."
"Another flirtatious statement, Chopper. Perfectly, uniquely you. You'll get no
sympathy from me when you complain about not being able to flirt. You do it
very well." He blushed, to her amusement.
Her finger started tracing his new scars. They were far more symmetrical, three
X marks; above his eye, below his eye and one on his lower cheek beside his
mouth. She frowned at the cruelty, her fingers resting on his face.
"Why did they do that, Chopper? Why did they cut you and rip up Sketch's leg
and beat Riposte and..."
"Because they could," came his reply. "Because they were allowed, encouraged,
to show how much power they had over us traitors. Because they knew our
ultimate destination was Kamino for reconditioning and destruction. Because
they hated us. Only Boil's squad showed any restraint and now we know why. So
they beat us; physically, mentally and emotionally. They raped us, killed us.
They tried to find our weak points..." He stopped because he could feel her
face pressed against the side of his head, hear her broken breathing, feel her
fingers tremble. He reached up, touching her head and the back of her neck with
his hand, holding it there.
"Hush, hush." he said, "We're here now. We're all right. It was a nightmare,
but it's over." Her breathing softened.
"Would any of the other men have told me?" she whispered in his ear. "That it
was systematic torture?"
"Not unless you asked directly."
Saria breathed softly, giving him a small kiss in his hair to his surprise,
silently slid down beside him. Chopper straightened and put his arm around her
again. She was closer this time, he noted, her skin against the scars on his
side, her hip touching his. Slowly she hooked her ankle over his lower leg.
"Does that mean anything?" he asked.
Saria smiled. "If another female were here, it would tell her something. For
you, it means I like touching you."
"I like it." He moved his leg a little, experimentally swinging it gently in
the water. The weight of her foot was no more than reassurance. "It feels ...
possessive."
Saria chuckled. "That's exactly what it tells other women." His eyebrows rose
and he ducked his face a bit, but not before she noticed a quick smile.
"That's a good start, isn't it?" His face showed his uncertainty as he looked
at her.
"That is a good start, Chopper." She answered. "So was the other day, talking
with me in the back yard. Just talking. Getting to know each other. People have
to be friends before there's anything worthwhile."
"I was afraid," Chopper admitted, his face down, looking at her from the corner
of his pale green eye. "That my scars would scare you. No one else has scars
this bad, except maybe Jesse's face. And he... “Chopper paused for a moment,
shook his head." He won't approach you to flirt."
She turned a bit toward him and her right hand reached over, cupped his jaw,
drawing him to face her. "Is that why you invited me to the pool first? So I
would see them? So you could judge my reaction?"
"Yes. If you couldn't stand the scars, I didn't want to break my heart trying
for something I couldn't reach. I know some women," he amended his sentence, "a
lot of women, don't like scars. Not like mine, not all over."
"I might break your heart, Chopper, but it won't be because of scars." Her left
hand moved to rest on his leg, on a large scar cut by gunship metal underlain
by old burn. She leaned into him, turning her face to his, her hand moving from
his jaw to the side of his face, drawing him, more gently now, but closer,
until her breath caressed his lips. That awful uncertainty stopped him. He
lowered his head before her lips touched his.
"I'd like to kiss you, Saria. I've had bad experiences before where I've
misunderstood, where I've been teased, so I need to ask." He swallowed, licked
his lips. "May I kiss you?" His breath shivered.
Teased? Misunderstood? This close?Saria felt a flash of hatred for someone
she'd never met.
"Yes, Chopper. Please." She answered, leaning into him, her face still raised
for his lips, her eyes gazing into his.
He put his lips to hers; soft and warm and moist. He kissed her lower lip,
trailed some kisses onto her cheek and down her neck. She could feel him shake
in tension and she knew that calibrating his deece hadn't been sufficient. A
soft laugh rolled in her throat. He pulled away from her, his eyes inspecting
her face.
"That wasn't at me?" he asked slowly, his emotions hidden, his face hard. She
tilted her head.
"I don't know." She said honestly. "I was just thinking about..." she blushed
..."you. Calibrating your deece."
He thought a moment, relaxed a bit. Then he grinned.
"Another calibration will be due soon, I suspect." He gave her another kiss, in
relief that she hadn't been laughing at him.
"Chopper," she asked softly. "Am I the first woman, the first person, you've
kiss."
He leaned back, chagrinned. "It shows, huh?" She nodded slowly.
"Would you like me to kiss you?" Her voice was low. She had never considered
herself an experienced woman. Jester hadn't been her first man, but he had been
her first in over a decade."
"Please.".
She gently placed her palm on his cheek, raised her lips to him and kissed him
softly. At the end of the kiss, she pulled on his lower lip gently with her
teeth. He made a noise of discovery and pleasure in the back of his throat.
She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time slipping her tongue between
his lips. His eyes shot open and he shivered, his arms coming tight around her.
She kissed him a third time, her tongue going deeper into his mouth, teasing,
inviting his tongue to play. Slowly, his tongue came to touch hers.
He withdrew from her, nodding. Then he kissed her, tugging her lip, teasing her
tongue. His arms around her were tight and shaking. She had to tap him twice on
the arm, the martial arts version of surrender that Jester had taught her, for
him to release her sufficiently to breath.
"You try to make me breathless with kisses, not from lack of oxygen," she
teased. It took him a moment, his face flickering from hard to uncertainty, but
he chuckled.
"I'll be more careful." He promised.
"I like your strength, I love being safe in strong arms, so don't be too
'careful'." She warned. He nodded as he softly ran his hands up her sides, her
ribs. She grabbed his wrists. "Careful of ticklish spots" she said with a
laugh. He laughed with her.
There was a moment's pause. If he'd been looking at her breasts, she wouldn't
have done so. But he was gazing into her eyes with happiness. She took his
hands and slid them up to her breasts. Slowly she straddled his thigh, facing
him, as breathless as he was.
He shook, his body quivering. "Please. More kisses?" He asked. His hands hadn't
move from her breasts. "So I know it’s ok." He whispered softly.
"Yes, Chopper." She leaned forward, her arms coming around his scarred
shoulders, "It's ok." Her lips caressing his face, catching his lips, slipping
her tongue into his mouth. He moaned, he was hard, pressed against her leg. One
arm slid down to her waist. With his other hand, he gently stroked her breast.
He watched in amazement as her nipple wrinkled into a tight bud.
"That's a good sign," she confided with a smile. "It means what you've done is
pleasurable." He was reaching for the other breast with his fingers. "Try your
mouth," she whispered into his ear.
"Just your words," he groaned. "Just your words make me harder." He pulled her
closer to him, up a bit, and set his mouth to her breast. At first, just the
nipple as he tongued it experimentally, then he set his mouth around her entire
breast. Softly he used his teeth, but not softly enough and she jerked back.
"I'm sorry, Saria." He seemed panicked. "I'm so sorry. I won't do it again."
She could feel his erection wilt beside her leg.
"It's ok, Chopper." She put her hands to his face. "Chopper, it was just a
little too much. That's part of what lovemaking is about; finding out what your
partner likes and wants." He was listening now, his expression uncertain. "And
finding out what is just a little too much. Or not enough."
"I'm sorry, Saria. For ..." he couldn't find the words.
"For not being experienced?" she asked. "There's no reason to be sorry for
that. I'm not very experienced myself."
He smiled at her. "Thanks." She kissed him on the forehead, an innocent kiss.
He laughed, gently touched her two wrinkled nipples with his hands cupping
around her breasts. He leaned forward, kissing her, slipping his tongue into
her mouth to play with hers.
Her hands slid on his chest, feeling the ridges of his scars. He shivered. "You
don't have to touch me." He offered between kisses.
"It wouldn't be much fun without touching."
He pulled away from her. "I will make it as fun as I can for you, Saria."
He was a fast learner, listening to her breathing, the little catches when
something felt good beyond belief. He was getting hard again, pressing against
her leg, thickening, lengthening. Her hands reached down into the water and he
gasped and froze as her fingers touched him. He sucked his lips between his
teeth.
His breathing quivered. "I want…" he whispered."… You."
"I know," she whispered into a kiss, buried her head into his shoulder. "I'm
sorry. I shouldn't have … started kissing you."
He rubbed her back with his hand, knowing they would go no further. "No
complaints from me, Saria. Please don't think I'm complaining. I loved those
kisses. Loved touching your breasts. Loved what you've shown me." Chopper
paused. "I loved watching you swim, loved talking to you." He licked his lips,
glanced down, then into her eyes. "I loved the feel of your fingers on my face,
my scars."
His throat was suddenly dry. "I will see you tomorrow at breakfast, but
suddenly, that's not soon enough."
Saria touched him softly on the face. Then dropped her fingers to his hardness.
"Tonight," she smiled and her eyes sparkled, "when you calibrate your deece…"
He chuckled, his big hand moving down to touch her fingers on him.
"Imagine that it's me."
He groaned and she took that groan into her lips, into her mouth, sucking
softly on his lips. He could feel her heart beating, fluttering quickly.
Chopper watched as she swam to the other side of the pool. He didn't close his
eyes this time. Nor did she turn around as he pulled on her pants, dropped the
shirt over her head.
He'd think of her tonight. He had her kisses on his lips, the touch of her hand
on his body. He knew it had been a good start; a very good start indeed.
He wondered if the feelings inside him were love.
                                Shaeeah & Quad
Shaeeah saw Quad by the tree. He seemed to be having trouble urinating. He
leaned against the tree with one hand bracing himself and the other tugging in
front of him. Softly, he rocked back and forth. His eyes were closed and he was
large, stretched, reaching upward. She was close enough to ask if he needed
help before she recognized what he was doing as masturbation.
Sometimes at night, she put her own hand between her legs and it felt good;
sometimes she rubbed her breasts or pinched her nipples in experimentation.
Without thinking about it, she drew nearer as quietly as possible. She wasn't
very quiet, but he wasn't listening. His breathing was harsh and she could hear
the sound of his hand in front of him, a soft, slapping sound.
She was close enough now to… She touched his back softly. He froze, shivering.
Shaeeah took another step, placed both hands on his back, softly stroking the
tight muscles. She felt his tempo change, his breathing change.
"You're the first man, I've seen." She whispered.
That affected him. A whimper, a sob came from his lips. He moved closer to the
tree for support, moving slowly so her hands stayed on his back. She moved with
him, then closer, until she was against his back. Odd, she could hear his
heartbeat from the back.
She licked her lips nervously. "May I ..." she began and couldn't finish.
"Any… anyth... thing," he stuttered. His arm had stopped pumping back and
forth, now it moved slowly, more gently. She slid her hand up his back onto his
shoulder, hugging him a bit, then slowly down his arm. His forearm muscles
tensed and relaxed. He turned slightly, just enough so she could reach in front
of him. Her hand caressed his forearm, his hands. Her fingers slid between his
fingers, onto his soft skin. He gasped and his fingers tightened momentarily
around hers then relaxed. She marveled at the velvety softness of his skin as
her fingers touched him, at the tension of little brother, at the way it felt
alive.
He looked down. A delicate hand caressed him lightly. It tickled. Her fingers
slowly spread, explored the opening, damp from his two dimensional fantasy
already gone. She was real. He was so hard now, at her touch, harder then he'd
ever been in his life. She explored that hardness. Running her fingers down
him, feeling the way it pulse with his heartbeat.
Her touch was so soft, so tentative. He groaned. Her fingers unclasped him
immediately. "I haven't hurt you, have I?" Her voice was uncertain.
"No. Your hand feels so good but it’s …" he swallowed, licked his lips. "it's
light. Better would be to grab harder, slide up and down harder, squeezing over
the top." He paused. "Best… best would be you go away before anyone…" He
couldn't speak another word.
She had gripped him harder, her nimble fingers sliding, picking up that
moisture to spread over the rest of him. Her other arm came around his waist
and slipped under his shirt, for stability. Her palm was hot against his skin.
He wasn't sure he was still breathing.
Her hand was wonderful. It was only a few strokes when he jerked. "Yes, yes,"
he whispered harshly. She kept rubbing softly, exploring, sliding her fingers
over him. He put his hands over hers. For his comfort if she moved her fingers
away from him, for her guidance as she did not.
She didn't remove her hand, feeling its throbbing, the sticky wetness, and the
way little brother soften and shrank back to normal. Quad's breathing was
becoming normal though his knees were still weak.
"You are the first woman to touch me," he whispered. "I will never forget you."
She leaned against him. Odd, he could feel her heartbeat through his back. She
kissed him on the back and softly moved away. Quad stayed leaning against the
tree until he was sure she was gone. He didn't need to see her, he knew who she
was.
Slowly he tucked himself back into his pants. He leaned against the trunk of
the tree and buried his head in his arms. Quad cried over years lost to
unnatural aging, lost to war, lost to prison.
                       Ahsoka, Echo, Rex, Aureki, Barin
Rex came up from the water, kicking himself off the bottom of the thermal pool
toward the wavering image above him. He had a tendency to sink but he liked
pushing himself, challenging himself against what was. Perhaps it made him a
good captain. Mentally he shrugged; perhaps it made him a scared trooper trying
to prove himself.
He came up, splattering water droplets everywhere to Barin's delight and
Aureki's laughter. Echo and Ahsoka were watching him also.
"What?" he exclaimed at all four sets of eyes on him. They laughed.
"Just admiring the view," quipped Ahsoka.
"Same, brother," added Echo, his arm around Ahsoka and a grin on his face. "You
look almost as good as me."
"Quite handsome," agreed Aureki.
Barin scrunched up his nose. "Ick!"
Rex laughed.
Aureki grabbed Barin by the waist. "And one day, you'll be much handsomer and
the girls will all come kiss you." She pushed him up, not quit strong enough to
give him a really good lift, and into the water. Barin curved his body and
turned it into a dive, swimming toward Rex. It was hard for him. Like his
father, he had a tendency to sink. But, also like his father, he loved the
movement in the element. Aureki slid into the tepid water. She and Ahsoka were
forbidden the hotter parts of the thermal pool by both Kix and Saria due to
their pregnancies.
Barin grabbed onto Rex's hand. "Throw me, papa Rex. Throw me into the air!" he
shouted excitedly and Rex picked him up and threw him with a laugh; careful to
aim toward a cooler, deeper part of the pool. Barin balled up a bit to make a
bigger splash and Rex laughed again as the water hit the sun-dried Ahsoka and
Echo.
"You planned that," shouted Echo with a grin and Rex knew trouble when he saw
it. He tried to move away, but Echo had quickly jumped in, splashing Rex, and
grappling with him even before coming up for air.
"Help," said Rex, with a grin to Aureki and Ahsoka, just before he was pulled
under. Their reaction hadn't been helpful. They had laughed. Aureki had
splashed him and he had glared at her as his feet gave way to Echo's pull. Even
Barin swam over, willing to help papa Echo topple papa Rex.
Rex and Echo grappled, underwater and above water, occasionally letting Barin
grab one of them and then coming up to throw the boy into the air. They
couldn't stay underwater long, the laughter was too contagious.
After a while, Rex climbed onto the warm boulder, Ahsoka and Aureki to either
side of him, content with his own life. He watched Echo play with Barin,
chasing him underwater and grabbing him to haul the laughing child into the
air. He sighed. Aureki turned to him as did Ahsoka. Ahsoka raised an eyebrow.
"Are you alright, Rex?" asked Aureki. She blushed, she rarely called him Rex.
"I'm fine, Aureki. I'm lucky to have you and Ahsoka and Echo and Barin and
children to come."
"You sounded almost sad."
"You're right. I was thinking of the men, of the stories they tell me about why
they ran, why they committed treason, how they hurt." He paused. "Most of them
are not going to be as lucky a man as I am."
She tilted her head, considering. "This, I think, is something you wish to
discuss with Ahsoka?"
Rex furrowed his brows and pulled his lip with his teeth. He gave a slow nod.
"I think so, Aureki."
She smiled and kissed him softly. "Then discuss and I shall go assist the
terrible water monster with Barin. I believe he's getting tired."
"Barin?" laughed Ahsoka, "I don't think...”
"The water monster," chuckled Aureki as she slipped into the water.
"Tell me, Rex." Ahsoka offered.
He took a moment to get started. "I've been debriefing, listening to stories of
despair." Rex shook his head. "The Imperials are destroying the men; making
them less individual and more of a monolithic entity of terror." He whispered
again, "They are destroying the men, but not the army. Names are discouraged,
even off-duty, it's prohibited to individualize armor. So far, a common thread
seems to run through the story of every man that deserted. Even my own, even
Cody's."
"What is that?" she asked, her hand on his shoulder providing a comforting
presence.
"The men who have run had had someone see them as individual. Col's Ehveen and
her family, Boil and Waxer's Numa, even Jesse's torture victim who had looked
into his eyes and told him his tattoo no longer fit. She saw him as an
individual."
"I didn't know about Jesse." began Ahsoka.
"And you still don't." warned Rex looking at her. "I'm told you because you
won't treat him any differently than you are now. But you're the only one. Not
even Cody." Rex closed his eyes in pain. "He's told me and because of that I'll
probably have to debrief him. I do not want to do that."
"A problem for a different day," she said and he nodded, quietly contemplating.
Rex took a different track. "Have you noticed how many men there are from the
501st? Both here and on Boil's lists."
"I did notice there were quite a few. Also from Cody's company and the 41st."
"We're here, Ahsoka," he said, "because we had you. You remembered everyone's
name from the first time, you could tell a man in or out of armor, and they
appreciated that. You wept for dead brothers, amused them with stories, visited
them in the med unit. General Kenobi and Commander Offee both did, at least
some of the same."
"You did as well." She pointed out.
"That was my job." He said gently. "It was expected of me. Not you. I didn't
realize it until I was debriefing Chopper and he said that if you hadn't been
with the 501st, he'd be just another mindless clone. I looked at the stories of
the men I'd already debriefed and men whose stories I knew. Always there's
someone who sees them as individuals. Not necessarily who loves them like Col
or your love for the men of the 501st. Sometimes, just a look or a word. I
asked Cody and he thought about it for a minute then agreed.
He was quiet, on the boulder, Ahsoka touching his shoulder, rubbing his back.
"What does it mean, Ahsoka?"
"I don't know, Rex. Perhaps something like that is fundamental in recognizing
that we are not alone but we are unique. Your brothers are not alone and that
is driven into them. They are told they are identical, interchangeable. They
are clones, the same. For the most part, many of them haven't found their
individual uniqueness yet. Perhaps just a look is sufficient for all the pieces
to fall into place."
"And when they fall into place?" asked Rex.
"When you recognize your own individuality, can you deny the individuality of
others?
"Jedi philosophy," Rex muttered, but he smiled at her. She bent and kissed him.
Uncle Fives, all the gods from Shili and throw in the angels of Millius Prime
bless him, had come and taken Barin. He'd thrown the laughing six-year-old boy
over his shoulder, promised to feed him, and waved at the adults.
Rex and Echo had been prepared to go without dinner but Aureki had smiled and
pulled out a basket of finger food. "This is what you get when the cook loves
you." They'd sat on the warm boulder, feeding each other, licking their lips at
the food, licking the fingers of their wives, sucking and kissing with abandon.
Then, they'd abandoned the food and fell to kissing their wives more seriously,
harder. Licking and sucking far more pleasurable items than finger food.
As though they planned it, Rex pulled Ahsoka into one area of the pool and Echo
had led Aureki to another area. Rex could hear Echo and Aureki's words, a
murmur that went with the waves their bodies created against the stones. He
could hear Aureki's whimpering moans, Echo's heavy breathing; theu were the
background for his own words, for Ahsoka's words.
"I love you, Ahsoka. Every day, more and more." He whispered, kissing her,
sweeping his tongue behind her ear into the sensitive crevice of her lekku and
softly nuzzling the base of her montrals. "I am driven into bewilderment. How
can I possibly love you more than I do right now? But I know tomorrow, I will."
He covered her mouth with kisses. He didn't want an answer to the mystery; he
simply wanted her to know.
She moaned and pressed her body against him, her hands stroking his face, his
neck. His hands, around her, cupped her and lifted her against him. He liked
feeling her weight against him, it held him down. It reminded him that this
wasn't one of his fantasies back on the Resolute where it had only been the
weight of his hand. Or quietly by a campfire with Echo, Fives and Jester, his
lips held silent, only his breathing through his clenched teeth a sign that he
didn't sleep.
It reminded him that he had been too stubborn to search for her, too stubborn
to believe that he loved her. Too stubborn to think that she would love him;
had loved him more than she had loved anything else in her life. Even Echo,
even Aureki, even Barin. He was the other half of her soul. Her love for them
was as boundless as the galaxy, stretching beyond wild space; her love for him
was the pinpoint of the center.
His moan faded into her lips; he was hard against her body, ready for her. Her
arms clasped around his neck and she moved her hips against him, smiled
wickedly then circled her legs around his waist.
He gasped in surprise and groaned as his hardness slid into her. Her flesh
rippled against him. "You," he gasped with a smile, sliding deeper with a move
of his hips. "Are wonderful."
"You have a couple of good points, yourself," She muttered, trying to make a
joke. It didn't get far as he could see her eyes were half-shut, half-open and
filled with lust. She gave up on jokes, they'd never been her strong suit, and
gave a sighing cry. "You feel so good in me. So much like home for me. Like
haruu, like hearthfire."
He leaned against a boulder, careful of her legs behind him, taking the
pressure on his shoulders. His hands, supporting her lightly in the water,
moved her up and down. The view of her breasts, slipping in then out of the
water, was wonderful. As they bobbed up, he clasped the nipple of each between
his lips, letting her rebound pull them from his lips.
"You are my heart," he breathed harshly at her. "My center, everything I am."
She arched her back. His own back arched in response and he growled deep in his
throat, wanting, needing her. He kept his eyes open watching her, watching her
beauty. He watched her face, her mouth opened, her eyes closing as her head
went back. Her own moans began in her throat and hummed through her montrals
and her cheeks flushed a ruddy sunset with her delight. She gasped, her body
tight then she relaxed in waves as Rex's own body tightened and relaxed.
He relaxed then, dipping his head to her. "Why," he asked, husky-voiced, with a
kiss on her lips, "are you always ready for me?"
She smiled.  "Because I only have to see you, only have to think of you, or
touch you or smell your scent and my body prepares for you." She whispered.
"Know that." She gave him a kiss, warm and moist, love rather than passion.
"Know that every time I see you, I am ready for you. Whether you are playing
with Barin or speaking with other men or even stealing the blankets from my
side of the bed,"
"I don't," he denied, his brown eyes innocent.
"You do," she replied, "but even then, if you were to turn around and invite me
in your arms, I would be ready for you, Rex."
He smiled, "Now that," he kissed the tip of her nose affectionately. "Is an
incentive to keep stealing the blankets."
"You're far warmer than any blanket, anyway." She murmured, as she ran her face
along his neck, to stop and gently nibble his earlobe. He gave a gentle noise
in the back of his throat that rolled along her lekku, echoed in her montrals.
She whimpered, her eyes drowning in his. "Again," she asked softly. "Please do
that to me again."
"Everything or just the noise?" he grinned.
Her eyes closed and she smiled.
"Everything, it is," he promised. She could feel him, hard, preparing to
fulfill his promise.
***** Healing - Scenes from the second week on Saleucami *****
                          Med Barn – Early Afternoon
Numa sat quietly and Saria remembered how still Boil had been when he'd come to
see her. Numa was tall and lean; she'd be a beautiful woman. Already she
possessed that indefinable quality of grace.
"I'm glad you no longer insult Jester." Numa's voice was quiet.
"I'm glad you had Boil tell me. I didn't realize I was insulting Jester." Saria
smiled. "Since then, I've made sure to call every man by their name."
"You seem very good at recognizing them, even the ones without marks. They are
surprised at that. You must observe keenly." Numa tilted her head as she
observed Saria.
"Before I became a nurse, I was a kinesiologist and studied humanoid movement."
She smiled at the younger girl. "They all move and walk differently. Sometimes,
it's all I can do to refrain from asking a man to take off his shirt so I can
understand why he moved his arm a certain way. Is it a wound? Morning stiffness
from cold ground? Old scar tissue? Too much chase and tackle the day before?"
"Ask them, they would be pleased. Not just that a woman would like to see them
without a shirt, but because they usually enjoy talking about the wounds, how
brave they are. They would be in swoons to have you poke and prod them." Numa
considered. "Not Chopper though, he has too many scars. Nor Shy or Jesse."
Numa glanced down, considered and then smiled at Saria. "You would have trouble
making them keep on their pants as they gathered to show you whose scar was
bigger."
Saria laughed and Numa smiled behind her hand, all the lines of her face curved
up in enjoyment. They had taken each other's measure and were surprised to find
they liked each other.
"Boil told me you wished to see me because you were kidnapped by slavers?"
Saria asked.
Numa shook her head. "I was sold to them by my uncle, my legal guardian. It is
one reason, a large reason, why we are no longer on Ryloth."
"Will you tell me about it?" asked Saria.
Numa nodded. "It is not precisely legal or precisely illegal to sell one's
younglings. Twi'lek dancers, usually girls, are a sought after commodity on
many planets and even on Ryloth itself. The war has made people desperate and
poor. It was not unexpected that my uncle should sell me instead of his
daughter." Numa's face hardened in anger. "But it was not right to sell me
without given Waxer first right of purchase, it was not right to sell me
without a week's preparation, it was not right to sell me to slavers who would
take me to unknown places so I would never see my nerra again." Numa paused for
a moment. "But I was lucky."
"You were rescued."
Numa shook her head and her face paled slightly. "No," she said, her voice a
shadow of its normal vibrancy.
"What do you mean then"?" Saria's voice was soft.
"They raped… another girl. She'd been sold at the same time as me. Later, when
the sellers and relatives were gone, one of them, a Weequay, chose her. He
raped her in front of us. To scare us, I think." Numa was silent for a moment.
"He did scare me. He spent a long time trying to choose between me and her.
Touching us, measuring us in some way. He chose her and he raped her and took
her away. When they rescued us, she was still screaming." Numa wiped her tears
with her palm. "She was still screaming when we went into hyperspace. Saoha
went into the med unit and held her. That finally made her quiet."
Saria was crying also. Her hands were on her lips.
"I cannot talk to anyone who would speak of this to Nerra Waxer. When he
rescued us, he was afraid that I had been raped by the pirates. He was very
scared, asking me questions. He asked what they had done to me. He did not
think to ask what I had seen them do to another girl."
"What would he do?" Saria asked, "to know this."
"He would blame himself and he would hurt. He would be angry and he would lash
out; possibly at Rex and Echo and Fives because they were part of the rescue.
In time he would realize that there was nothing he could have done; that he had
done everything he could. But his relations with Boil would suffer. His
relations with me would suffer and that would torment him even more. Perhaps he
would no longer be friends with Rex." Numa bit her lip. "I think that Echo
would forgive his anger and Fives certainly would. So I will not let him know.
You will not tell him." Numa looked hard at Saria.
"You have confidentiality, Numa." Saria reassured her. "No one will hear of
this."
Numa nodded her head. "Good."
"Boil said that Waxer is worried you wish to marry them."
"Waxer has always been perceptive." Numa smiled.
Saria frowned. "Then you do wish to marry your fathers?"
"They are not fathers," Numa corrected. "They are nerra. That is an important
distinction for Ryloth law. There are no prohibitions to marry one's nerra on
Ryloth. Even if they were my fathers, there is no biological reason I cannot
marry them, no reason I cannot have children for them."
"That would be considered..." Saria began
"I am Twi'lek,” Numa’s voice was hard. “I was sold to pirates as a slave; to
dance for onlookers. Do you think the pirates would have made sure I was not
sold to someone who preferred the flesh of a youngling?" Numa's voice was
angry. "Waxer and Boil, and their brothers, have been the only ones who have
not sought to use me since the death of my parents. For me, they would give
their lives. For them, I would do the same." Her voice softened. "They love me
and it is the love of men for a child. But I love them and that is moving from
the love of a child to the love of a woman. They have taken care of me for
eight years and plan to take care of me until they die. Certainly, I can love
them and take care of them as well. It will be easier to do so as their wife.
When I am 16 I will become an adult by Ryloth law and I will ask them to marry
me. I will give them reasons for their logical minds and I will give them hugs
and kisses for their emotions."
Saria nodded. "You've had this planned for a long time."
Numa nodded.
"Then why come to me? Certainly not for my approval. I've very rarely met an
adult as self-sufficient and whole as you."
"Because, since I saw the pirate rape that girl, I have become scared of my
nerra. Scare of what their," she stumbled over the word, "penises may do to
me." She moved her hands in a pleading gesture to Saria. "I have seen my nerra
and their brothers naked. I have seen them with each other and with other
people having sexual pleasure. That did not scare me. But, since I saw the
pirate rape that girl, that is all I can see. Him using himself like a dagger,
to cut into the girl; to make her bleed not only her body, but in her soul as
well. He cut out the pleasure from her for all time. Nerra Waxer killed that
Weequay, one shot to the head and he was dead. But in my mind, he lives and he
laughs at me, because I can no longer anticipate my nerra with loving joy. That
is what I fear, Saria. That I will come to my wedding bed in fear while a dead
slaver pirate laughs at me."
Numa's body shook; she shivered as tears started falling. Saria moved to her
side. It wasn't what profession demanded. She put her arms around the girl
softly. This was demanded by friendship. Numa curved into that warmth, her sobs
muffled by her face in Saria's shoulder. Saria just held her, knowing she wept
for so many things that she hadn't been able to weep before. This was demanded
by the bonds of family.
                                 Before Dinner
Saoha smiled at the scarred man. His name was Chopper and he would occasionally
smile at her in passing; though more often he dropped his head to hide the
scarred side of his face. She knew that was an old habit, deeply ingrained.
Sometimes his emotions were so clear she could almost hear the words echoing
through time: 'Drop your ugly face, trooper'. She often wondered whose voice
that was, so angry and hateful. When Chopper had that thought, he remembered he
was trying to develop new inclinations and would look into her face with a
smile. It would only take a moment for his smile to go from remembered duty to
real; from a re-ordering of his new habit to genuine pleasure.
He liked her beauty, she liked his mind. They hadn't had much conversation
being busy settling in. She'd like to rectify that now, wanting to get to know
everyone here. Curiously, he had asked Sula for all three women to clear his
psyc. For an explanation he had said, "I know I've been mental. I want to be
sure I'm sane."
Chopper was sitting under one of the trees now instead of in it. His shirt, for
once, was off, exposing the scars on his chest and back. Chopper grimaced,
holding his fist tight so he wouldn't grab the shirt and quickly pull it on.
Saria had seen them in the pool, Ahsoka long ago in the Resolute med unit. He
was sure he had no secrets from the Zeltron women. Neither Suu nor Aureki gave
him any attention different from his brothers and he knew their hearts were
taken and they would never see him, much less his scars. It was Numa, Shaeeah
and Jek he had worried about; they often played tag, so he had kept his shirt
on so they wouldn't see his scars.
Shaeeah had asked why he kept his shirt on. He explained. She nodded. "Well,
I'm sure Jek has seen them in the pool and forest spirit Numa has seen them so
it's only me and I'd much rather you be comfortable."
He said no and she had kicked her foot into the dirt. "Fine, then I will sneak
after you. I will go down to the thermal pool and wait for you. Or I will sneak
onto your camp before you all wake and I will see you. Or I will follow you
when you go to wash your clothes. Then I will tell you I have seen you and you
can remove your shirt and be comfortable." So he had sighed and removed his
shirt, waiting for her grimace. She had made a face, but it hadn't been
disgust, merely sympathy. Then she had given him a quick hug and run off to the
game.
Saoha saw him sitting under one of the trees. His shirt, for once, was off,
exposing the scars on his body, on his chest. This was the first time she had
seen that. Always, he kept his clothes on, even in the heat of day playing the
fast-paced game. Even now she sensed a feeling of self-consciousness from him;
an embarrassment that had been inculcated in him for a long time, an
embarrassment that had been mocked in prison. An embarrassment that was only
now fading and much of that, she could feel, was from Saria's acceptance of him
in the thermal pool the other day.
Saoha chuckled. Saria had blushed when Sula had asked how the evening had gone
with Chopper. Her reply of 'Very nice' came nowhere near explaining the
deepness of that blush, nowhere near explaining why her body relaxed and her
heart beat faster. She had seen the knowing looks of the Zeltron women gave
each other and laughed with them as they started laughed. 'Steamy,' she had
revised with a soft giggle.
Chopper had been tagged out of the game of chase by an excellent tackle from
Pax. It had been an aggressive tackle, not permitted with the younglings, and
Saoha could feel the pain that would be a purple-red bruise on his leg in the
morning. He was one of the men who liked his games rough; most of them liked
the games rough. They said it kept them alive. It was odd; they were so gentle
with the children. Saoha moved to sit next to him, baby peach in her arms.
Chopper's eyebrows rose as one of Fives wives sat next to him, almost near
enough for him to wrap his arm around her waist. Although she carried the baby,
he knew she wasn't Sula. Saoha, he remembered, though Fives often called her
Sa'. He wondered briefly if that wasn't an insult to her name, though he'd
never known Fives to insult anyone.
She was beautiful, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Chopper laughed at
himself. Before coming to Saleucami, he could count the women he'd seen on both
hands, the women he'd talk to on one hand. Old shame mixed with new pleasure
and he smiled at her, more hopeful that she'd smile back than anything else.
She glanced at him and moved slightly closer as though they were friends, as
though they were talking to each other.
He was tall enough to look over her shoulder and at the baby cradled in her
arms. He enjoyed looking at the promise of the child.
"Here," said Saoha, turning to him, "You'd like to hold her."
"Yeah, but I'd break her." Chopper didn't move, frozen in fear, as Saoha
quickly and expertly slid the infant into his half-curled arm. The baby seemed
to weigh less than his blaster had weighed.
"Here, curve this arm to support her, her butt in your hand and her back along
your arm." She folded his arm to her direction. "This arm cradles her." Saoha
reached across him and set his other hand around the baby. She touched his bare
chest with a finger, "Hold her near your heart." Chopper was proud of himself
for not flinching as her finger brushed against an old scar.
He glanced down to the baby. She was a warm, moving bundle in his arms. Chopper
could feel her heartbeat flutter against his chest. Her hair was dark, like
Fives hair, like Chopper's own. He wondered what color her eyes would be as her
face scrunched up in what seemed to be a grin. "She's a beautiful child."
Saoha seemed to ignore him for a moment, her attention on the baby. Then she
smiled into Chopper's face. "She is beautiful and she likes you. I'll have to
let you hold her more often."
Chopper decided he would like that. A lot. He glanced up into Saoha's face. She
smiled at him and he decided he would like that a lot also.
"Why does Fives call you Sa'?" It was the first question that came to his mind;
the first string of a conversation to keep her by his side for a few minutes.
He'd like to get to know her, learn to flirt, and learn to talk to women
without shame coloring his face. He'd have to learn; to deal with people
without self-consciousness.
"For you to call someone by a name not his own is an insult, correct?" she
asked.
He nodded.
"Why?" she asked.
"It's not what we have chosen to be called."
"Perhaps that is the difference. I never chose my name; it was given me after I
was weaned." She leaned to nuzzle the child, shaking her head a little. "As we
will name peach when she is older." Chopper shut his eyes at the feel of her
hair against his chest.
She continued speaking. "One day, when Fives was pleasuring us in bed and he
took his mouth away from me for an instant too long in order to say my name, I
told him he could call me Sa', a childhood nickname. For him, Sa' is what I
have chosen to be called."
Chopper swallowed and glanced down at the baby. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear
anything after," he swallowed again, embarrassed. "…'pleasuring us in bed'."
"I could tell." She smiled at him. "Your face went all stiff."
"Wasn't the only thing," he muttered as he blushed. He watched the game, the
diversion of an instant. Most of the men were on the sidelines now, yelling for
the men on their team. Only Edge, Boil, Rex and Echo were still playing, the
sweat running from their bodies, making their backs glisten in the setting sun.
Chopper's back didn't glisten; the sweat ran in the crevices of his scars,
running in the channels of his corrugated skin. But today, he had taken off his
shirt at Shaeeah's urging. He was tired of washing it every day. He was tired
of sweating more because of its warmth. He was tired of being the only man
wearing one. He relaxed. No one had said anything. Most of the men barely
noticed, though Rex had given him an approving nod. Saria had seen him from the
med barn door. She had blushed, smiled at him before returning to the barn. Now
Saoha had sat next to him. It was an amazingly mild reaction to his fear of
years.
Boil got a good tackle at Rex who'd been dodging Edge; Echo just a fraction too
far away to block him. Rex hit the ground with a hard grunt, Boil on top of
him, both men laughing as Boil helped Rex up and pointed him off the field.
Chopper nodded with a smile. Boil and Edge were Chopper's teammates today and
the unofficial bet was the winning team to be first in line for dinner. Being
late for dinner usually meant you'd miss out on the wonderful bread Suu baked.
"Boil makes a good partner to almost anyone. He reads people very well."
Chopper commented. Another string in the conversation.
"He does." Saoha was willing to let him lead the conversation and Chopper was
glad. "Perhaps it is his scout training," she continued.
As they watched, Boil and Edge cornered Echo. Echo would give them a good
struggle, but the end was a foregone conclusion. Edge was always one of the
last two men, usually the last.
"You read people well, also." She commented. "Why is that?"
“Self-preservation.” He frowned in memory and the baby gave a mewl of distress.
He gestured to hand her back to Saoha.
"No, merely think good emotions. I am sorry I brought back bad memories."
He held the baby, squirming uncomfortably. "How do I think good emotions?" he
asked her.
"Here, we can make new ones," she said, as she leaned closer to him, circling
one arm around the baby, one around his back. Immediately, the child ceased her
squirms.
"Much better thoughts," murmured Chopper. Then he grinned at Saoha. "Should we
be exposing a baby to those kinds of emotions?"
She laughed, her arm squeezing around him. "Please, call me Sa'."
Chopper grinned and held the baby, making cooing noises he’d heard Sula say to
the child. When he glanced towards Sa’, she was smiling at him. Chopper lost
most of his own smile as he saw Fives making his way up the incline.
Fives noticed his fading smile. “No, Chopper, I’m just here to collect the
peach. Kix wants to check on her.” He bent and took the child, his handling of
the squirming baby far more confident than Chopper’s. “I’ll bring her back,” he
grinned.
“No, Fives,” said Saoha as she leaned into Chopper’s side. “She will want Sula
soon.” She turned toward Chopper. “And I would not like our discussion
interrupted so soon.”
                      Before Dinner - A Mutual Attraction
Kix held the infant in both hands. She'd been his first child and he was as
proud of her as her own parents. Her face scrunched up in some kind of emotion
and Kix laughed softly at her expressions. He hadn't realized simply watching a
baby could be so entertaining. He slipped her back into her carry, holding her.
"She's beautiful and healthy, Fives. I don't know much about Zeltron genetics,
but it looks like she might have your brown eyes." He handed the baby to Fives.
Fives laughed, taking his peach into his arms, holding her closely to his
heart. "I'll accept your expert opinion about both her beauty and her health."
He glanced at his peach. "Let me give her to Sula, Kix, I'll be right back."
Fives went out the door with the baby.
Kix watched him go, 'what if's' running though his mind, then sighed. Fives
was, very obviously, a happily married man content with his life as it was. His
wives, Sula and Saoha, were wonderful women. Kix saw Sula daily, had spent an
hour with both women at the pool. They had flirted kindly with the men. Even
Riposte, suspicious with anyone not a brother prisoner, had relaxed, smiled and
joked back. Sula bringing Kayl back from death had been spectacular. Kix sighed
again. No way would a man like Fives would be interested in him.
He'd proposed to Saria. Osik, he'd been so nervous he'd had to write it on a
data pad. He liked her; he could learn to love her. Already, she was expecting
a child. Kix would love a family. She hadn't said no to him as she had to the
pilots. She wanted time and he had nodded. He wanted to work with her, learn
more medicine from her. Already he knew more simply because she talked through
treatment, talked during the surgeries. He could make love to her; he would
have to learn but he'd learn. For a family, he'd learn anything. For the chance
to be happy, to hold his own child in his arms… like Fives and his family, Sula
and Saoha and the beautiful baby peach.
He turned to see Fives in the doorway with a smile. "With deep sighs like that,
what's on your mind, Kix?" Fives shut the door behind him and came to stand
next to Kix.
"I was just thinking about your wives, Fives. They're also very beautiful."
"And healthy like my peach." Fives grinned and took a step closer to Kix. "And
wonderfully perceptive." Fives put his arm around Kix and Kix froze, his heart
pounding. "And they share, Kix. When I found them I thought I had died and gone
to some unimaginable heaven. Do you share, Kix? Would you like to touch one of
my wives? Beautiful Saoha, perhaps,"
Fives had his hands on the front of Kix's pants and Kix gasped. He hadn't
expected that.
"Not my lovely Saoha, then perhaps you’d like to make love to my gentle and
just as beautiful Sula?"
Fives hand merely held him, offering no pleasures and Kix was confused. Fives
appeared to be measuring his attraction to his wives.
"No," commented Fives, with a rueful shake of his head, "not my wonderful
Sula". Kix gulped as Fives' hair brushed against him. He closed his eyes and
wondered what it would feel like on his bare skin. Fives was so close to him,
Kix could feel his breath on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see Fives looking
into his eyes with a grin. "Perhaps, me? Would you like to make love to me,
Kix?"
Kix nodded a little and felt himself thicken into Fives' hand.
"I am so lucky, Kix, that my wives talk to me, that my wives think of me, that
my wives share me, that my wives love me." Fives' arm pulled Kix closer and his
hand gently began to caress Kix. "Would you have ever asked, Kix? Would you
have ever expressed that you found me attractive?" The warm breath of his lips
caressed Kix.
"No." Kix whispered into the kiss. Hesitantly, one of his arms came around
Fives, his hand luxuriating in that dark, wavy hair. Fives delicately slipped
his tongue between Kix's lips, his hand stroking Kix's hardness inside his
pants. Kix put his shaking hand outside of Fives' pants, felt the hardness and
pulled away from the kiss, his breath shaking. Fives took no offense, instead
stroking the side of Kix's face with gentle fingers. Kix shut his eyes in
wishful dreams.
"Are you a virgin, Kix?" Fives asked softly.
"No." Kix's face was hard and tormented for only an instant, but Fives caught
it.
"Outside of prison, Kix, outside of rape, are you a virgin?" Fives voice was
low, gentle and concerned, his palm on Kix's cheek.
Slowly, Kix jerked his head in a nod, his lips twisted as he remembered his
first time. He'd been held down, no faux love or even sexual attraction, simply
a game of power which he had lost. Fives removed his hand from Kix's pants,
giving the softening little brother a pat.
"Tonight then, Kix. After dinner come up to our room. Sula will be there with
us, but not Saoha."
"Us?" Kix was glad there was no quiver in his voice.
"We won't have sex. But I would like to get to know you, and my lovely,
wonderful wife," Fives grinned, "might like to watch at some time in the
future, if you let her." Fives' face became solemn. "Besides, she's had
training in sexual trauma."
"I'm not in any kind...”
"You are, Kix. Do not compare yourself to this wounded group and think you're
not hurting. You're just not as bad as about a third of the men here. You were
a virgin who was raped in prison. I'm sure it wasn't gentle, either. That, by
definition, is sexual trauma."
"No, not gently." Kix's voice was soft, "but the others need help more than I
do."
"Possibly and we’re all here to help. But they haven't expressed even so much
as a thought in my direction and you have been watching me." Fives gave Kix a
light kiss.
Kix tentatively kissed him back.
"I'll be there, Fives." He gave a little smile. "I enjoy Sula's company and I'd
like to get to know you better, too. It's been a long time since I've had
thoughts like that." He bowed his head in shame and misery. "I thought they'd
killed those wants forever."
"It wasn't your fault, Kix. Remember that. Whatever happened was not your
fault."
                         Before Dinner - Sketch's Pain
Sketch sighed with relief as he sat on the bench. Cut had pulled a bench from
the barn and set it against the wall of the house in the back yard for Sketch
to join everyone during meals. Sketch used it often for rest as well. He was
gaining endurance with the crutches, gaining dexterity, gaining skill. Shaeeah
had given him one of her packs to carry his art supplies with him and, after
he'd stopped laughing at the garishly girly design, he'd hugged her. She'd
grinned and blushed, her own burbling laughter joining his. But after they'd
laughed she'd hugged him and he said the pack was full of love. It wouldn't fit
on his broad shoulders, so he slung it over one arm. Each morning, she and Numa
would sit beside him and he would show them his new drawings from the previous
day.
He slept comfortably by the kitchen, the residual warmth from the kitchen
enough to keep the muscle spasms away during the night. He was concerned about
muscle spasm during the day, but they were few and not as severe as they'd been
in prison. He'd spoken with Saria and she suggested it was because of the
exercise; he was moving the blood to his leg, circulation providing internal
warmth.
They'd set up his surgery for a day away. Sketch was anxious, but in a good
way. She reminded him that it would mostly be aesthetic at this point; turning
his foot so it was angled correctly to the lower leg bones, connecting ligament
and muscle to their proper attachment on bone. She promised him it would take a
lot of therapy and work. This was the foundation but he wouldn't be able to use
until his knee was corrected.
This was fine with Sketch. It was a start. It was movement forward, it was a
beginning. It was hope.
He had pulled her into him, hugging her tightly, kissing her until he could
feel her heart pounding against him.
Since he wasn't yet allowed to go by himself, Sketch invited different brothers
with him when he went exploring. Jester had been the best, they'd never lacked
for things to discuss. Now Jester said very little and only glanced at Sketch
with sadness in his face, thinking of Saria. Jester didn't blame Sketch and
they were still friends, but the pain for Jester was too overwhelming. Chopper
was always good company usually quietly lost in his own thoughts then breaking
the silence with a question or sentence that caused both men to think. He told
Sketch he was trying to find out who he was becoming because he certainly
wasn't who he had been. Sketch had been delighted by that statement and they
had discussed personality and individuality. Djinn, also, was good company. He
was eager to explore but he tended to explore minutely, once they were where
Sketch wanted to be. Djinn would bring his book and read a poem, then discuss
it while his fingers scrubbed in the dirt to inspect the soil contents or he
climbed a tree to discover insect habitats.
Saria came to visit him most evenings, once he was in the house for the night
but not yet asleep. She'd sit on the floor, next to his cot. He liked that;
liked all of it; her kisses, her fingers on his face and threading through his
hair, her arms tenderly tight around his neck, her palms against his chest.
Once, in accidental movement, his hand had brushed her breast outside her shirt
and she had gasped, flushed. Sketch had merely continued stroked her face and
hair, not ready for anything more.
Sometimes Chopper came in with her and they would both sit talking with Sketch,
but Chopper recognized that this was Sketch's territory. Saria would stop
leaning against Chopper and lean against Sketch. The first time she'd done so,
Sketch and Chopper had raised their eyebrows at each other. It seemed like
Saria might share and with that quick glance each man assured the other that he
would share with him.
She told Sketch she'd kissed Crux, delighted with his flirting. He had taken to
coming to the barn every evening and giving her a shoulder massage as he asked
her questions. She said that he would propose, but wouldn't be hurt when she
said no. Quiet Pax had also expressed his interest, had taken her for walks in
the silver moonlight of Saleucami but hadn't done more than hold her hand and
put his arm around her waist as they talked. She had bit her lip when talking
about Pax. He would be hurt when she told him no. Sketch had told her, "Give
him a kiss then, Saria. He will hurt with or without one, so give him the best
one you can."
Dour Edge had expressed an interest in children. He had been business-like. He
would care for and love any children of hers, though he'd prefer his self or
his brothers as the father. He would please her the best he could, sexually and
otherwise, and would share her if she so desired, again preferably with his
brothers. He was a hard worker and would welcome Jester back into her life if
she desired. She wasn't sure if he would be hurt or not; his proposal had been
business-like but she could tell there were untapped depths to him and he had
spoken of love. He was one of the men she watched now when they played chase
and tackle. His expression then was so much different than when he was in the
med barn. Sketch told her that as long as she didn't kiss Edge or promise, he
wouldn't hurt.
She told him that Kix had stuttered, badly, as he asked Saria to marry him.
Then he'd cursed and went back into the examination room, slamming the door. He
came out a few minutes later, his cheeks red and handed her a data pad with his
message on it. Sketch has sighed, not knowing what to say to that. "Insist on
truth with Kix, he has been badly hurt in prison and has come to believe he
deserved everything that happened to him, he believes he is responsible for the
deaths of the men who died there."
Dare had also used the data pad, though his conversation had been longer. He
bemoaned the fact that he couldn't charm her with words, couldn't discuss
things because a million thoughts went through his mind even as he was writing
the first word. He couldn't even kiss her properly. She had sighed and given
him a kiss; light and soft on his cheek. He had run his fingers through her
hair and lightly held her face while he set his lips against her cheek.
Djinn, she wasn't sure about, he'd approached her the other day but ran away
before he'd finished asking. Sketch had heard the story and told her. She had
blushed for Djinn's embarrassment. She told Sketch that she'd gone to the pool
with Chopper but she'd blushed and hadn't said any more.
Sketch had smiled. He liked all of his brothers here and knew that Saria
probably couldn't pick a bad husband among the bunch so long as she knew why
she was picking the man. Edge wanted children, had always wanted children; Crux
wanted attention, Chopper wanted acceptance; neither thought they were worth
loving as they were. Jesse wanted redemption, Sketch hoped Saria wouldn't pick
Jesse; that would be a long, hard path. Djinn wanted experience, Kix would
marry her for innocent love and family, Baffle for occasional sex, Checkout and
Backup for frequent sex.
"And why do you look so thoughtful?" her voice interrupted his reverie as she
set his dinner and glass on the bench. He laughed and drew his fingers along
her beautiful face. He'd marry her for her kisses, her delicious, honeyed
kisses. Because that was all he could do. Sketch sigh and became solemn.
"I need to tell you something, Saria."
"I know," she said. "You have that look on your face."
Sketch smiled as well. He'd also marry her for her perceptiveness,
"I'm falling in love with you much faster than I thought I would and you need
the truth to make your decision." He gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. "I
would be happy to marry you. I would be happy to raise your child with you. But
I don't think I'd be able to give you a child. I don't think I can function
with anyone." He drew back then. "I used to," he whispered softly. "I've had
two women in my past. During battle times, I've also had brothers. Most of us
have explored sex with our brothers, especially when there is no other
release."
Saria nodded. Crux had mentioned that in-between some of his questions. It
didn't bother her as she thought it might.
"But prison …" his mouth opened in a grimace but no words escaped.
"They raped you." It wasn't a question. Sketch nodded sharply.
"They liked doing that, especially after they twisted the leg." He whispered.
"Because I'd scream. The pain was…" Again he couldn't' say anything. His throat
was dry and his shaking hands reached for the glass at his side.
He drank a bit and stared at the glass in his hand, then put it back down on
the bench. "The other brothers, mostly, could hold back the screams. They could
grit their teeth and think of revenge or hate." Sketch continued. "I'd scream
mostly because of the knee and I couldn't think of anything then. They loved
hearing me scream." He looked at her, his eyes bleak. "I lost all interest in
ever having sex again. I haven't even," He glanced away from her.
"Calibrated your deece?" she asked, her voice was softly teasing, but her eyes
were full of tears.
"Yeah," he chuckled at a brother's phrase on her lips. "I haven't even done
that. Rex said that one of Fives' wives might visit me one evening. But she's
Zeltron. She hasn't visited because she knows. Both of them give me hugs and
kisses; but it’s open, it's their way." Sketch shook his head. "But she won't
visit me because she knows I can't perform."
Saria kissed him, gently on his lips then laid her head along his arm. "All
things heal, Sketch. In time, all things heal."
He'd marry her for her honeyed kisses, her perceptiveness, her kindness, her
humor, her gentleness, her compassion. He'd marry her for love, deep and warm.
                          Dinner Conversation - Djinn
Saoha was pleased that Fives had approached Kix. She and Sula had always known
of his occasional interest in men, though he didn't often found one who was
compatible. They'd known of Kix's interest on the ship.
Still, it meant she would need to find somewhere else to sleep. The bed
provided by Cut and Suu was for two. The three of them and the tiny handful
that was peach had laughingly crowded in it. Adding Kix would probably break
it. So, Fives had explained and Sa' agreed. Kix needed healing and that needed
Sula, Kix needed love and while either she or Fives could provide that, only
Fives could provide sex later if desired.
Finding another place to sleep wouldn't be difficult at all. If nothing else,
Jester would let her use his house. Saoha shook her head. Sleep alone? Not an
option. Then she smiled. Djinn.
Poor Djinn had embarrassed himself in front of Saria, ejaculating even as he
asked her if she would … he'd never gotten the words out … and the laughter of
his brothers had sent him running. Saria, incredulously, didn't even understand
what had happened.
Saoha smiled. She'd let Djinn know that as well.
She saw Djinn at dinner, alone near the tree line around the back yard. Saoha
leaned close to Fives at dinner and whispered in his ear. "Djinn. I think I
will be with Djinn tonight."
Fives nodded, turned his head with a smile and gave her a kiss. Sula, peach at
her breast, reach up and ran her elegant fingers in Sa's hair with a soft
smile. They all saw Kix hesitantly walking their way. Saoha gave him a brief
hug as she passed him on the way to Djinn's solitude.
Djinn, still embarrassed and angry from the laughter of his brothers, sat alone
on the outer edge of the back yard, away from the crowded area. He wasn't
enjoying the steak, chewing angrily with his head down. Quietly, Saoha sat next
to him. He still seemed unaware of her presence and stabbed a piece of meat.
"It won't fight back, you know." She said and he jerked, almost leaping into
the air from a seated position.
"Oh." Djinn looked back down at his meat. "I supposed some of my brothers sent
you here." She read his shame.
"Would your brothers be so cruel?" she asked putting her hand on his shoulder.
"No," he muttered, "not really. Mostly they were laughing at the circumstance.
It could have happened to any of them."
"Would I be that cruel?"
He looked at her, taking in her beauty, the delicate shade of her dusty
pinkish-red skin, her darker hair, her soft smile. He understood that beauty
could be cruel, but she'd been one of the rescuers on the ship. Then Djinn
looked down at his meal with a frown on his face, already hard. "No." he
muttered. "I'm just…" he sighed and dropped his fork into his plate. "What do
you want with me?"
"You seemed unhappy and I wanted to cheer you up." She moved her hand from his
tense shoulder to his forearm.
"Thanks, but I don't think that's going to happen." He was looking down at her
hand with a frown, but his inner turmoil included pleasure at her touch.
"Why not?" Saoha moved her hand down his forearm, lightly touching the back of
his hand before withdrawing her touch.
Djinn sighed. "She's the only unmarried woman around and I messed up my chance
with her."
"Not really." Saoha took a bite of steak. "She was the only one who was unaware
of what happened."
Djinn turned his head to look at her. "How could she?" Then he turned his head
back to his feet, his elbows on his knees. "Not for long. Someone will tell
her."
"Probably. She still won't hold it against you."
Djinn perked up. "Really?"
"Really. She's a wonderful, understanding person." Saoha gestured across the
yard where Saria was sitting with Sketch, her eyes were bright and she was
smiling. Pleasure overlaid with nurturing filled her and Saoha let that warm
pleasure wash over her. "Busy at the moment though and your chances are not the
best. One in twenty-five?" She watched his expressions, enjoying the smile
she'd brought to his face with her news.
"Still," Djinn considered aloud, "Maybe I can ask again tomorrow. And they're
more like one in fifteen." He told her. "For various reasons, some brothers
aren't interested; Riposte, Jesse, Cody, a few others."
"Yes, ask again tomorrow. But what will you do about tonight?" Saoha purred,
leaning closer. Djinn froze, his fingers shook on his plate and he turned his
face to her. She tilted her face and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. He
quivered, shut his eyes and tried to control little brother. Saoha felt his
emotions sparkle.
"You're married to Fives." He whispered, his eyes still closed.
"We share and tonight I told him I was hoping to share with you."
He lay back on the grass, his eyes closed and his erection pressing at the
material of his pants. He was breathing hard. Then he opened his eyes and
quickly sat up. "I'm yours." He turned to her. "What can I do for you?" The
sparkle turned into joy, into warmth, into something pure and clean like fresh
water.
"A kiss," she smiled. "And finished dinner with me."
He kissed her lips and she kissed back. He closed his eyes to taste her better,
to feel more of her warmth. He pressed harder but she withdrew. Disappointed,
he opened his eyes. She was only a breath away. When his eyes opened, she
lightly touched her forehead to his, her nose to his.
"We need more privacy to continue that kind of kiss." She smiled. "Let's
continue dinner first."
"I don't think I'm hungry for food anymore." He said as he stared at her face,
his own face incredulous.
"Perhaps not, but we have all night and with food comes conversation." She
smiled. "And, conversation is the best manner of flirting and friendship."
"I don't know how to flirt that well," he said as he took a bit of the steak.
Then his hand shook. "All night?" he whispered. "You'll stay with me all
night?"
She felt his amazement. He had sexual experience, but it had been with women
who had no use for him beyond sexual gratification or with women who plied
their trade by the hour. "That would be my preference. For you to take your
pleasure and then kick me out of your bedroll would be rude in the extreme."
'No, no. I wouldn't do that. I'd kick myself out first, if you wanted. I just…"
He took another bite to give himself time to think. "No one's ever wanted me
all night." He sighed. "I couldn't last that long anyway." But she caught his
intense delight at being wanted all night.
Saoha didn't laugh although her eyes sparkled. "I would like to spend all night
with you and, even if you don't last that long, I'm sure we'd still enjoy our
time together." She leaned against his chest. "Perhaps just by holding each
other?"
"I'll try, Saoha." He put his arm around her. She felt his heart pounding, his
blush of delight and the small tendrils of friendship love.
                              Announcements - Rex
Rex looked over the group. He chuckled to himself as his eyes caught different
scenes playing themselves out in the back yard.
Numa was serving Boil and Waxer. She did that every night, making sure they
always had some of the delicious bread, making sure to save them treats if they
were a little late. Numa took very good care of her nerra as they took very
good care of her. Tonight, gunship pilots Checkout and Backup were with the
scouts. They had just sat down with their plates. Suu had sent them to the end
of the line for another prank they had played on the cooks. Rex had noticed
there was someone different with the scouts every night. Probably men
expressing their thanks to Boil then sharing the meal with them. Cody had told
Rex that Boil was more aloof and standoffish than ever. Rex had nodded, "How
else could he have survived what he did? Can you see me doing that for three
years? You?"
Shaeeah was laughing. She was sitting with Chopper as she usually did. Like
Numa did for her nerra, Shaeeah did for Chopper. She was usually talking;
asking questions, making comments. Rex could only take concentrated Shaeeah in
small doses but noticed that Chopper was more than simply patient with her; he
actively enjoyed her company. Sometimes they sat with Sketch and Saria;
apparently Chopper and Sketch had made some sort of arrangement. In the
mornings, Chopper was often with Saria and in the evenings, she was more often
found in the company of Sketch.
Jek was with Gekko and Leven along with young Barin and toddler Keeli. Rex
enjoyed the dynamics of that little group. Jek admired Gekko and Leven as older
brothers, Barin had the same feelings about Jek. Keeli couldn't express his
feelings with any accuracy, but he preferred toddling after Barin over anyone
else. One of the nuna had escaped being penned and was at the outskirts of that
group; running from Keeli, but still dashing into the group to grab at bits of
food Keeli had spilt on the ground and the bits Barin was offering it. Rex
noticed his active son was almost a statue to entice the nuna closer to his
fingers. Pride puffed his chest; it always did when he watched his son. Col was
with them. He'd taken to helping with the children, being around them. 'I'm
practicing' he'd laugh, if anyone asked. Every man knew what he was practicing
for.
Djinn and Saoha were on the edge of the group, Saoha curled in Djinn's arms,
against his chest as she fed him bites from her plate. Djinn's face bore an
incredulous look. Rex had to chuckle at that. Saoha, so far away, could still
feel his emotions and smiled at him. He smiled back. He had thought his
feelings for her and Sula nothing more than lust. Neither woman had been
Ahsoka; but they had been there for him, bringing comfort, slaking his body's
hunger. He loved them both, not only as his brother's wives, but as sisters to
him.
Also on the edge of the group was Jester. He sat alone, his meal finished and
his plate in his hand as he watched Sketch and Saria.
Kix had joined Fives and Sula. He was holding baby peach, joy written on his
face. Sula was next to him, her arm around his waist, and her head against his
arm. Fives was on his other side with an arm stretched around them both as much
as possible. The plates of food in front of them were cold and untouched.
Rex looked at Ahsoka, at his side, smiling at him. Echo lay on his back, his
head in Aureki's lap as she feed him with her fingers. Cut had watched that for
a few minutes then left their little group muttering something about finding
his wife and privacy.
Rex stood, slowly, waiting as the talking ceased and everyone turned toward
him. "I have a few announcements to make." They were listening respectfully.
"Col is the first to clear full debriefing. His destination is Dantooine in the
Raioballo system and he has spoken to us about his departure." That had their
attention. "Our pilot will be taking him there in eight days." There was a
small cheer from the men and Rex waited for it to die down before continuing.
"If anyone else would like to immigrate to Dantooine or any other planet in
Raioballo they need to have all parts of debriefing done by then. If you're
last in line, see if you can trade for a different time. We've streamlined the
debriefs so they aren't taking as long as we had anticipated."
Leven and Gekko slapped Col on the shoulders with grins. Jek gave a whoop. Col
merely looked eagerly satisfied.
Rex knew that look meant 'home' and smiled. He glanced around the group looking
for Cut, but Cut must have found Suu and a little privacy.
"Cut and Suu have stated they will start the new planting season around the
same time. They will be planting mostly wheat in the fields but would like to
know who would prefer to stay for two to three seasons, or even longer. Knowing
this will allow them to consider other crops which might bring more profit. It
will tell them if new buildings are required or will modifying the barn be
sufficient. They may need to consider the purchase of more nuna, more supplies.
This is not a permanent decision. If you don't know right now where you want to
go, I'd suggest staying for a season or two." He smiled at the group. "I did."
There was some laughter and he knew it was the thought of Captain Rex of the
501st harvesting crops.
"Cut will also be taking a part-time job in the town to keep an ear out for
information." He heard their murmurs. "There's no evidence that the escape has
been detected, no evidence of Imperials or bounty hunters. This is simply
precautionary. Suu will be going into town more often. If you have something
you need or want, give her a list. Anything purchased will come out of your
stake which is just over two thousand credits." There was silence. None of them
had ever had credits. Rex sighed. "Talk to Suu or Aureki about managing
household expenses. It's something else everyone should know about."  He
paused, glancing around for Cut who must have found Suu and privacy, then
continued speaking.  "Because Cut will be staying in town for several days at a
time, Jester will be in charge of the farming; his main helpers will be Shaeeah
and Jek as well as Echo. If they tell you something in relation to the farm
duties, do it."
"Kix says that tests have shown, so far, that you have minor vitamin
deficiencies. More protein, gentlemen; enjoy the steaks." Again there was a
small cheer from the group of men. "Make sure to get sunlight during the day as
well as physical exercise. The games have been supplying that very well. Cody
and I will also be having hand-to-hand combat practice daily. As with the
games, everyone is welcome. The scouts will be opening their camp for anyone
who would like to learn more."
Rex watched his brothers for a moment. He knew what he wanted to say. He wanted
to tell them all, that he loved them, that he was proud of them, that they'd
done well. He wanted to take away all their pains, wanted to remove their
scars, let them know they were safe. But he couldn't say those things.
"Welcome home, my brothers," he whispered as he sat next to Ahsoka, leaning his
head into her neck.
                             A Small Talk - Jester
Jester watched her, sitting so close to Sketch, her lithe body touching his,
their heads bent together; then she looked up smiling at the lamed man. Sketch
had taken his hand and cupped it around her cheek. Jester knew what came next,
he didn't have to look. But he did with the morbid anticipation of pain that he
knew would break his heart. Again. Saria blushed at the kiss, smiled, and
Sketch had brought his face closer again. Jester didn't need to punish himself
that much so turned his head.
This was a public kiss. He'd heard that she'd kissed Crux, but that had been
softly and on the cheek, in friendship. He'd seen Chopper's look of confident
pleasure as he watched Saria and knew Chopper had kissed her, more intimately
than Crux but that had been privately and Chopper wasn't talking. Jester was
grateful for that though he wasn't sure why.
He knew most of his brothers were interested in Saria. Pax, Djinn, Dub, quiet
Edge, even Kix who would hide his own longings and pain to give Saria
everything he could.
If he looked hard, Jester could see the softening around Saria's belly, the
little tummy that was developing. He wouldn't be surprised if she was over the
90 days she had calculated. She'd been very busy for the last four or five
months. Jester hung his head. She'd been busy and he'd been anxious that she
was spending so much time away from him. She'd said something innocent and he'd
taken offense.
"Does it hurt that much?" Rex's voice was soft in his ear.
Jester didn't open his mouth for fear he'd shout or cry. He wasn't sure which.
He simply nodded his head.
"So, why are you torturing yourself watching her and Sketch?" Rex sat next to
him.
"I love her." Jester said quietly. "Even if it's torture, I still love her. I
love watching her, love being with her, the touch of her hand on my arm, the
taste of her kiss. If I watch closely enough, I can almost feel it again."
"Do you love talking to her also?" Rex's question was almost off-handed as he
took a bite of goldenfruit, the rind flipped inside out.
"Yes, Rex." Jester's voice was sharp. "She's the most intelligent, imaginative,
wonderful person in the world to just sit and have a chat with. You know that."
"So why haven't you talked with her?"
Jester was quiet. Rex sighed.
"Still ashamed?" Rex asked and Jester knew this was a debriefing, of sorts. It
required honesty on both sides and commitment to finish.
Jester nodded. "I apologized on the step; when Crux took her to the barn that
day. I wasn't loud but she heard me. So did Crux. She asked for time so we
could salvage our friendship."
"Is friendship what you want?"
"No. But it's what I'll accept if that's all I can get. It's what I'll accept
so I can stay in her life. So I can help with my child." He turned his head
sideways to look at Rex. "I feel amazingly fortunate for her to be having my
child. You can understand that." Jester set his hands on the ground, spreading
his fingers wide, as though feeling for life among the grass. "Clones don't
have wives, Rex. They don't have children. The only 'family' for a clone is the
army." He pulled his hands back, rubbing his thumbs in his palms. "This is
family. I have brothers, dearer to me than my own life. I have sisters, nieces,
nephews that I would die for. I had a woman I still love beyond anything I've
ever known. She's having my child." He looked at Rex again. "Is that a love a I
can even survive?"
Rex nodded, "Barin is richness beyond anything I'd ever thought of. I've
touched Ahsoka's and Aureki's bellies to feel the movement and I felt like I
touched something infinite in that tiny flutter. It's like you just get bigger
the more you love so you can contain it." Rex glanced back at Saoha, just being
helped to her feet by Djinn. "Sometimes you can't contain all that love.
Sometimes it just overflows."
They were quite for a while, contemplating fatherhood. Then Rex spoke up again.
"So, why do you still feel ashamed?"
"I need to apologize to Cass Cjain as well."
"Figured that out, then." Rex commented.
"Yes." Jester nodded. "And I don't want to see her either. Both because of what
I did, using her like that and because she'll try again."
"After you apologize, what are you going to do?"
Jester looked at Rex and took a deep breath. "You've got something on your
mind, don't you?"
"Always, Jester. Always." Rex took another bit of the fruit licking the juice
from the corner of his lips then nodded his head toward where Saria sat. "Have
you let her love you in your weaknesses as well as your strengths?"
"What do you mean, Rex?" Jester looked at him with a curious frown.
Rex was quiet for a moment, then his voice was soft. "Have you let her know
what happened; what you did in the Jedi temple."
Jester's face crumbled. "No." his voice was as soft as Rex's. "She'd hate me."
"Then she wouldn't be worth your love." Rex was looking over the back yard,
leaning back on his elbows, the rind close by his hand. "You love her," he
continued. "When she's ill or unhappy, do you just walk out the door and tell
her you'll be back when she's better?"
"No! I take care of her, let her know that I'm there for her." Jester dropped
his head and stared at the ground. "At least, I did. Until I thought someone
else was there for her."
"Then give her the opportunity to be there for you." Rex sat up, cross-legged
and put his hand on Jester's shoulder. "Ahsoka knew what happened at the Jedi
temple, but she hadn't told Aureki. Echo told Aureki what he did. I told her my
part later. She didn't hate us. She cried for us, for our pain."
Jester was merely still.
"Do you think Fives has kept this, or anything, secret from Sula and Saoha?"
Rex gave a short laugh and Jester had to chuckle also.
"Do you honestly believe that Saria doesn't already know at least a good part
of it?" Rex asked Jester.
Jester turned to Rex. "She can't know."
Rex pointed to Chopper, laughing with Shaeeah. "Chopper was with the 501st and
even if he didn't follow orders, he knew what those orders were. Kix also knew
and he works with Saria. Countdown, Pax. Also 501st. Also at the temple. She's
one of the psyc team. She's listening to everything we have been through and
everything we have done. She knows what we did. She just doesn't know the
details of your part. Perhaps she's waiting for you to trust her."
Jester's face twisted as he tried to hold back the tears, but a few escaped.
Rex simply patted his back. The back yard was mostly empty now in the soft
dimness that was early night on Saleucami. Light bugs flickered through the
trees and lights through the windows of the house added to the peaceful scene.
Rex spoke again. "I've heard that for the next twenty days or so she's flirting
with the men to get to know them. Jester told me it's so she can determine if
what she loves is something common to all of us or unique in us as
individuals."
Jester nodded. "She's even talking with the men who aren't interested in her,
like Cody and Shy, simply to get to know everyone better. So?"
Rex's reply was slow in coming and spoken deliberately. "So why don't you talk
with her also. Flirt with her. Find out if what she once loved in you is still
there. Start over again. Determine if she wants to share. Determine if you can
share."
Jester frowned. Rex watched him. Whatever distaste Jester had for the situation
faded as he nodded softly. "I have to apologize to Cass first." He stood with
his empty plate in his hand. Rex reached out for it. "It will be on the bench
by the back door. Jester nodded.
"Best to get started now." Jester turned toward the forest heading to a house
he dreaded to visit.
                             A Quiet Walk - Jester
Jester was at the barn.
"Hello, Saria." He was nervous, glancing away from her then his eyes drawing
back as if of their own volition. What if she refused to go? What if she
refused to listen to him? "I was wondering if you'd like to go for a walk out
to the big rock and back?"
"I... I've got a lot of work to do, Jester." Although she seemed hesitant, his
name on her lips was like a caress.
"I know. I've heard Sketch's surgery is tomorrow. But you've always enjoyed a
walk beforehand. You said it relaxes you." He glanced around the small area of
the med barn. Edge was sitting quietly in the corner. "It's not like I'll talk
too much.
Saris chuckled. "I remember. It was about four weeks before you said anything
at all to me."
"I'll go, if you prefer," said Edge, watching Saria protectively.
"Why wouldn't she want to go with me, Edge? We are friends." He turned to her,
fear in his heart. What if they weren't friends? What if that was also gone?
"Aren't we?"
Saria smiled. "We are friends, Jester. Although I won't let you be silent. We
have a child to discuss." Her color was high, pink cheeks, as if daring him to
deny her baby a second time.
Jester nodded. "Yes, we have a child to discuss. I am sorry, Saria, for saying
what I said. At the very least, I should have rejoiced that my best friend was
having a very wanted child. And to be carrying my child deserves more gratitude
than I showed." He turned, biting his lip against saying anything more. She
pulled her shawl off the peg and followed him out the door. He was standing by
the big tree where they'd had the argument. As she came out the door, he moved
close to her, adjusting his stride to her smaller one.
"Do you have other apologies, Jester?" She asked, with a glance at the tree.
"Yes," he nodded. "I thought I'd say them bit by bit, as we talked"
"That could take another four weeks," she quipped with a smile.
"Not this time." He smiled back.
They walked past the front yard where some men were sparring, Jek among them.
Jek waved then the others did as well. All except Chopper, who merely observed,
his face emotionless.
They were half-way to the big rock before Saria realized it wasn't a tense
quiet between them, but the normal, relaxed silence of walking with Jester.
"It's good to be walking with you again," her voice was soft. Jester smiled to
hear that softness though he wasn't sure it would remain there. He nodded; a
typical response from him. Jester chewed his lip for a moment, wondering if he
should speak.
"I'm sorry I've been ignoring your desire for a walk, Saria. I remember we use
to walk every day."
She bit her tongue. She would not say it, would not say it.
She didn't. He did.
"Until I started going on all those runs." He was quiet for a while after
saying that. "I was angry and frustrated by what I thought was happening. I'm
sorry I didn't ask for clarity."
"I'm sorry, that I didn't notice how distressed you were."
Jester shook his head. "You were busy except when you were exhausted, Saria.
There were several times you didn't notice your shoes didn't match or that you
shirt or pants were inside out."
"Oh no," she murmured, embarrassed. "My pants?"
His eyes twinkled and his lips almost smiled. "That's ok, Saria. That happened
only once."
She stopped and turned toward him. "Because you started putting my clothes out
for me, didn't you?"
They were at the big rock and climbed it, Jester giving her his hand. When they
were seated on the large, flat-topped boulder, he nodded. "I was working on the
house. It was easy for me to have clean clothes out for you each day – proper
side out. I just draped them over the chair you threw them on each night."
"Thank you." She chuckled. "Who knows what I would have worn without you
watching over me." She went quiet then, remembering that was what Jester did,
watched over her. From the first time she'd seen him in armor with the big
blaster to such little things as making sure she didn't embarrass herself
wearing her clothes inside out. She sighed, a little noise almost lost in the
breeze. "I'm sorry, Jester, for saying you'd have to share me with Chymdura. I
did say it. Or something close enough to be the same. I only meant you'd have
to be sharing my time." She glanced down at her feet, her hands clasped behind
her back as she walked. "Perhaps you'd better tell your brothers it's a common
saying."
"I will, Saria." He also glanced down at the pathway they walked. "But I don't
think most of my brothers would be oversensitive enough to mistake the
meaning." He touched his cheek on the scar. "You've heard about what happened
at the temple, haven't you?"
"Yes." Her voice was subdued and she bowed her head.
"But I never told you what I did."
"You never had to, Jester. I understand you did something terrible and you have
suffered for it. I'd see you sometime, staring out the window, your face all
twisted in pain. A couple of times, I asked you what was wrong and you'd start
in surprise but you never told me. You'd just say you were thinking." She shook
her head. "So I let it be, Jester because if you wanted to tell me, you would."
He nodded. "I want to tell you." It was some while before he began speaking.
"I was up in the tower," he began. "The upper level was where the council room
was. Rex and General Skywalker took the main council room. It was supposed to
be full of some of the most powerful Jedi who were meeting to plan treason
against the Republic. It wasn't, but I didn't know that until later. So the two
ARCs, Fives and Echo, each move down the long corridor in opposite directions
and I'm checking doors in the hallway. I open up one door and there's a girl
holding a child. About Keeli's age and maybe she's just a little older than
Shaeeah. So I open channel. It's quiet where I'm at, but with the open channel,
I can hear what's going on elsewhere. I hear blasters, lightsabers, yells,
shouts and all the normal chaos of war. 'I've got two non-coms here.' That's
what I said. Because they weren't Jedi; you could look at them and tell. Rex's
voice comes back over the open channel; hard and deadly, where everyone can
hear it. 'Kill everything. If it's alive now, it better be dead when we
leave.'" Jester looked down at the boulder, the silver sparkle and black opaque
of granite. "So I follow that order. Then I decide to empty my blaster in that
room. In case I come upon any more non-coms. It takes a while, longer than I
thought. I'd never had a reason to use my blaster like that so I didn't know it
would take that long."
He touched his scar again. "I didn't know that rate of fire was likely to melt
the barrel though I knew it would get hot. Didn't know how hot." He paused a
moment. "I just closed communication channels and manually adjusted the baffles
in my helmet." He gave her a lop-sided grin. "Otherwise I'd be deaf as well as
ugly. After the blaster is empty I find a corner and I hide myself in it. And I
cry. I didn't even realize I'd had my blaster to my face until someone handed
me over to the medics."
His hands trembled and he set them on the stone as though to absorb its eternal
stability and tranquility. "You've never heard me say the remembrance because I
always make sure to do it alone. Usually out in the forest. Because most of the
time, I cry. I remember them. Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar
darasuum girl in the tower child in her arms. Vul kyr'am.There are other names
but those two are always first."
Jester looked at her, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. Saria took a deep
breath and nodded. Her own eyes were wet and she touched his face with her
fingers.
"I never believed you loved me because I couldn't love myself. For what I did,
I wasn't worth loving."
"You did what you were ordered, Jester. You had no choice."
"But if I'm a man, human, then my actions are my choice. And if my actions are
not my choice, then I am no better than a droid."
Saria sighed, running her fingers through Jester's thick, dark hair. "In the
temple, you reacted according to your training. You had no time to think of
making a choice. But when you did think…"
"I made my choice and deserted with Rex," he nodded. "It's good talking but I'm
not sure I believe it. Not sure it will chase away nightmares."
"Probably not for a long time, Jester." Her voice was almost lost in the
breeze.
"Thank you, Saria." He lowered his head.
They lay back on the rock together, though not touching anymore. It was too
soon for touching, the wounds still too new.
After a while, Saria sighed. "Time to get back."
"I'll be there tomorrow, too, Saria. I know Sketch decided to have the surgery
in the med barn instead of my place so his recuperation wouldn't be lonely."
"I think he just enjoys the pampering he gets from the cooks." Saria chuckled.
Jester grinned. "I wouldn't be surprised and it's not just the cooks. It's too
bad..." He paused, frowned then continued. "It's too bad Suu doesn't share.
Sketch would fit right in with that family."
Saria was silent, but Jester saw it was a thoughtful silence rather than an
angry silence for bringing up sharing. Jester breathed in relief.
"I'll be there in case you need my strength or in case either of you need
anything."
"I don't think I'll need you, but I would appreciate it. Sketch would, too."
She thought a second. "Actually, you should be there when he comes out of
anesthesia. I think you would be better than Edge to sit with him as he wakes
up. You know him better. I'll be there, too, but my attention won't necessarily
be on him."
"I'll be there."
"Thanks, Jester."
They started back, side by side. In silence for a short while then Jester spoke
again.
"Saria. I have another apology. This one's pretty hard too and I want you to
listen to the whole thing." He sighed. "I probably even want your help figuring
it out."
Saria nodded, her face becoming a bit wan.
"You know I went to Cass Cjain's house that day and you know why."
She nodded.
"I went there yesterday to apologize to her. I would have used her to see if I
could have sex with you. Not one of my better ideas."
"No." Her voice was small and it hurt Jester to think how he'd made Saria feel
small.
"I would have used Cass, that's why the apology to her yesterday. For a while I
fooled myself into believing that I would have gone home after I found if I
could get hard." He stopped on the path so he could face her. "I wouldn't have
stopped, Saria. I would have convinced myself that getting hard wasn't enough.
I would fool myself into thinking it wasn't proof unless we had sex, then
unless I came, then … to make sure that it wasn't just once. I'm glad now, that
little brother paid no attention to Cass Cjain."
"But she's pregnant. About two months."
"That has nothing to do with me, Saria." He shook his head mournfully. "I
haven't been hard for a couple of months now. Not since you said," he caught
himself. "Not since I thought you said I had to share you with someone else."
Saria nodded. "I'm sorry I thought you were the father of her child."
"Hey, we're still working on my apology," he smiled at her and she gave him a
small smile.
"So I would have used Cass and lied to her. I would have lied to myself and
ultimately, I would have lied to you. I want to apologize for that entire
thing. I want to make it up to you in any way I can." Saria was quiet, soft
wrinkles in her forehead.
"I'll have to think about that one."
Jester nodded. "I know. It's convoluted and I'm not sure I have it figure out
totally."
They walked, coming closer to the house and barn. She hadn't said anything more
and Jester was a little worried at her silence. Still, it had been a relaxing
walk. It had felt good to be talking with her and they were still friends.
"Saria," he asked softly. "I didn't mean to burden you with apologies too much
today. I did want to talk to you about our child. I want to be part of this
child's life. I don't have a lot of credits and I'd like those to go for
Sketch's knee surgery; but I can make a lot of time when it's not harvest. I
hope we can make some arrangement where I can take care of this baby while
you're working and mentoring with Chymdura." He stopped. "I want to be part of
this baby's life."
"That's what I want, Jester. I want you to be part of your child's life also. I
know how important this is to you but it's important to me also. I don't want
to be the only parent in this child's life."
Jester chuckled, a lump of worry dissolving. "I don't think that'll be a
problem. Besides me, there's Cut and Suu." He glanced downward at his feet with
a smile. "All the uncles this poor kid will be subject to. Shaeeah and Jek are
getting pretty grown up."
"They'll be uncles, but you'll be his or her father." She actually saw Jester
stand taller, straighter, a proud smile on his face as he opened the door of
the barn. She stood at the door for a moment then laid her palm on his face and
kissed his cheek.
                               Sketch's Surgery
They hadn't needed Jester and it was Edge who came outside the med barn to let
him know the surgery was done and he could sit by Sketch. Jester stood.
"Thanks, Edge."
Edge didn't move out of the way. He looked down at the ground then at Jester,
blue eyes pinning the brown. "I proposed to Saria."
"I didn't know that."
Edge shrugged a single shoulder. "She said 'no'. She's said or will say 'no' to
most everyone except Kix, Chopper and Sketch."
Jester waited. Edge always thought about his words. "She's kind to everyone.
She likes almost everyone. But she asked Sketch to marry her. Sketch will say
'yes'. Chopper's hopeful and Sketch will share. More importantly, Saria will
share."
Jester's brows drew into a frown and Edge continued. "Maybe before, she
wouldn't have shared. She will now."
With those words, Edge stepped away from the doorway.
Sketch was unconscious on the cot, cocooned in blankets with his leg elevated
and also cocooned. Just the tips of his toes peeped above the bandages but
Jester smiled as he saw those toes were aligned correctly. Kix was sitting with
him and looked up at Jester's entrance.
"Sit here, Jester." Kix directed as he stood. "As he comes out of it, he'll be
groggy. Kix glanced into Sketch's face. "The thing we're most worried about is
disorientation, confusion. Maybe he'll think he's back in prison, in which case
call me, I'll be here. Maybe he go back to Order 66 or back into some battle."
Kix did something with the monitor in his hands, checked the numbers and
nodded. "Saria thinks you'd be the best one to keep him from panicking if that
happens. She doesn't want him to move or struggle."
Jester nodded. He sat in Kix's proffered chair and took Sketch's limp hand into
his. Saria had told him that people under anesthesia could still take comfort
from human touch and voice. "Hey, Sketch. I'm here, my brother."
"I'll be helping Saria clean up. Just give us a call if there's any problem."
Kix went into the room that Saria had designated the sterile area. Jester
simply held his brother's hand, stroking the knuckles, talking to Sketch in a
low voice; talking about the good things.
He didn't know how much longer it was when Saria sat across from him and took
Sketch's other hand in hers.
"How's it going, Jester?" she asked.
"Good from what I can tell. He's made slight expressions with his face, nothing
stressed. Occasionally tried to say something, but his eyes weren't open so I
guess it's like he's talking in his sleep. Nothing I could make out. His hands
have twitched, gripped mine a little. I've been checking his pulse every so
often like you taught me and that's normal.
"Good. Those are all normal reactions." Saria nodded, laying the back of her
hand on Sketch's cheek. Jester lapsed into silence. He knew Saria wouldn't pay
very much attention once he'd told her Sketch's progress. She checked his
pulse, checked his toes and ran post-op diagnostics. Then she looked at Jester.
"How are you doing, Jester? I haven't asked that question."
"I'm well, Saria. Missing you, of course, but mostly it's been busy. I wake
before dawn and don't get to sleep until," he gave a chuckle. "Until almost
dawn. Cut and I working on the next planting, we're going slowly to include the
brothers. Riven has turned out to be a mechanic as well as a pilot and says
that speeder engines are not nearly as complicated as flyers. He's been very
helpful in prepping the equipment and in fixing Cut's old speeder. Col wants to
take some gifts to Dantooine with him and wants to find out what from Saleucami
would be a welcome gift. Leven and Gekko are working hard to pass the debrief
so they can also go to Dantooine; Dub and Pax are interested also. Checkout and
Backup need watching, they're playing pranks on the cooks almost every morning
and Suu isn't going to tolerate that for much longer." He looked at her. "And
there aren't twenty heartbeats between the times I think of you." Jester looked
down again at Sketch.
Sketch's eyes were barely open but he had a smile on his face.
"Hey, Sketch," said Jester, almost in a whisper.
"Thirsty." Sketch's voice was so quiet and cracked, Jester almost didn't catch
it. But he did, bringing the bulb to Sketch's lips. Sketch's hand was also
around it, but there was no strength in those fingers. Sketch sucked the water
from the bulb. Then let his hand drop to his chest and Jester moved the bulb
away. "How'd...go?"
"It went well, Sketch. Your leg is elevated and if you look straight down with
your eyes, you might see your toes."
Sketch looked, his head making small stretching movements, then it relaxed and
Sketch grinned. "Looks good." He let a deep breath out, as though he'd been
holding it in since he'd going into surgery. His eyelids drooped, dropped and
Sketch's eyes closed. "Where's Saria, Jester?" His voice was still low, but no
longer a hoarse whisper.
"Chopper came and took her for a walk. She usually needs one after she's done
something like this.""
"I'll remember that."
Jester dropped his head. Maybe Sketch would be taking care of Saria from now
on. Maybe Chopper would be building her a house. He pushed jealousy aside.
They'd be good to Saria, maybe even better than he'd been. Jester raised his
head to look at Sketch. His eyes were still mostly closed, but he had a smile
on his face and his breathing didn't have the evenness of sleep. Jester
continued talking.
"Then Djinn asked if he could have her company for dinner. But I think it's
just to prove he's not embarrassed anymore. He and Saoha collected his bedroll
and his little book from camp after dinner yesterday and weren't seen until
sometime after breakfast this morning."
Sketch gave a small chuckle. His smile became wider. Both men were quiet for a
while, letting the touch of their hands be sufficient. "Can you share yet,
Jester?" came into the silence.
"I don't know, Sketch."
"Do you want to share, Saria?" Jester asked. "Edge said that he thought you
might share Sketch and Chopper. They both share and," Jester paused. "They're
both good men. So is Kix although he never seemed interested in women before
you. He never really seemed interested in anyone."
Saria smiled. "Until Fives."
"Fives?" Jester's eyebrows rose. "Fives as in Fives who has two wives and a
baby girl Fives?"
Saria nodded with a smile. "And he did propose to me. We've talked, but that's
between him and me."
Jester nodded. "Just surprised, Saria. No questions." He swallowed. "They'd
take care of you. Any of them or all of them. I ..I'd like you to have the
house."
"No, Jester. You made that and I won't take it away from you."
"I made it for you, Saria." He gave her a lop-sided smile. "Besides I can make
another one. Not too far away; maybe equidistant from Cut's and the pool or
maybe tucked sunside of the big rock. It would go up even faster since I'd have
the help of my brothers." He blushed slightly. "I've got some ideas for changes
that I think a growing child would like."
"I'm sure any or all of them could make me a new house also."
"This one's ready for you and the baby, Saria. Please, let it be my gift." He
held her hand in his, brought it to his lips and gave her fingertips a soft
kiss.
"I'll think on it, Jester." Her face dropped to their hands and she laid her
cheek along the back of his hand.
He didn't realize until he was at camp and staring into the fire, that she
hadn't answered his first question.
Can you share yet, Jester? The words haunted him late past night and into the
morning.
                               Quad and Shaeeah
Quad was sitting in one of the trees in the front yard. Chopper had deserted it
for Saria's company at the thermal pool again. It had a good view and was
comfortable. Quad was sitting a bit higher than Chopper's spot, almost hidden
by leafy branches. Quad could see some of his brothers playing a game of chase
with Jek and Barin, though Barin was more interested in chasing the light bugs
that had started coming out. It didn't matter to the troopers, some of whom
were helping him catch them. Kayl was sitting on the porch, eager to join, but
forbidden even the soft chase game played by Barin. Although he could walk,
Saria was concerned about his femur.
Sketch was on the porch also, his ankle and foot carefully wrapped and
supported on a bench. The blanket was wrapped around the hot towels on his leg.
He'd had the surgery yesterday and his foot, or at least the very tips of his
toes, were in the normal position of a foot. Quad smiled at that. They'd said
he wouldn't be able to walk until the knee was done, but the ankle was a start.
Shaeeah came out to ask Sketch something, probably if he needed another glass
of juice or blue milk or any more dinner or stylus and flimsi pages for drawing
or a blanket. Smiling, Sketch shook his head and Shaeeah gave him a quick hug
then moved into the yard. The women delighted in spoiling Sketch.
As though guided by a magnet, Shaeeah came to the tree and glanced up with a
smile. Her smile widened as she saw Quad. He smiled shyly back.
She wasn't as agile a climber as her brother or any of the troopers, but she
was familiar with the branches. As she got closer to him, he tentatively held
out his hand for her and pulled her to his branch. It was a thick branch, but
not quite enough for two people to sit side by side on it. He started to move,
but her voice stopped him.
"Please stay there, Quad." She took a slightly different branch, her legs
swinging softly at the level of his hips.
They didn't speak. He didn't know what to say. She had touched him intimately,
stroking him until ... He stopped that line of thought; he'd get hard and tent
his pants. A more selfish part of his brain wondered what she would do then.
When she spoke, her voice was a quiet whisper.
"I've been thinking about what happened the other day. What I did. I didn't
give you much choice. I want to say I'm sorry." She bowed her head and
inspected the bark of the tree.
"Please don't be sorry. It was …" he thought and reached his hand toward her,
but pulled it back. "It was the most pleasure I've ever had in my life."
"That makes me even sadder. You should have had a lot more pleasure."
He had nothing to say to that and so was silent again. Then his mind traveled
along another path.
"Why did you do that?" he asked. He'd been wondering that ever since it
happened.
"Curiosity." She said. "Isn't that cruel? I was simply curious about," she
paused and blushed. "Men and…" She didn't finish her sentence.
"No. I understand that. I'm curious about women. I'm curious about so many
things. I'm scared for reasons I don't understand and curiosity makes things
less scary, easier to approach." He looked down, avoiding her eyes. He'd been a
trooper, supposedly without fear. He'd been in battle. Nothing should be scary.
He knew he was a coward.
Shaeeah nodded and thought a moment. "Right now, I'm curious how it would be to
kiss you." She whispered in a tremulous voice. "I'm scared also, but want to
kiss you."
His breathing tightened in his chest and he closed his eyes. He could feel
himself getting hard. She must have taken his silence for yes though he didn't
know if it was or not. She slid to his branch; he could feel her feet on one
side of him. He opened his eyes, holding out his hand so she didn't slip. She
bent her knees, but he let one leg slide off the branch to give her room. She
sat with both legs on one side of the branch, slightly sideways to him, shyly
glancing up at him.
She leaned against his chest and his arm came around her shoulders, his other
arm rested lightly on her legs. She smiled and relaxed even more, one hand on
his arm. His arms trembled.
She felt good in his arms and he leaned forward a little bit, softly nuzzling
her face, breathing her scent. He smiled and closed his eyes. He dared a small
kiss on her lekku. She dared a small kiss on his jaw. She leaned her head
against his chest. He gave her another small kiss on the top of her head.
"I like the sound of your heart." She whispered.
"It's fast right now. Holding you is making it fast." He whispered back. He
shifted, pulling her closer, but with open arms in case she wanted to leave.
She gasped as she felt him against her leg. He wasn't hard, not really, just
sort of interested. She twisted slightly, putting her hands on his chest. Her
face was down and her own breathing was fast.
"Quad," she whispered, not sure what to say. One of her hands crept up to his
face. He bent his face to her hand, softly kissing her fingers.
"I can't kiss you any more than that, Shaeeah. I just can't." He whispered in
her ear. "You'll have to lead if you want a kiss …."
"I do, Quad. I want to kiss you." She tilted her head up and pressed her lips
against his. He moaned into her mouth and she could feel him thicken at the
side of her leg. His mouth was moist, warm and Shaeeah softly licked his lower
lip. She tasted him; the salty richness of the bantha steak, the sweet
goldenfruit he'd eaten after dinner, some richness that was totally Quad. As
softly and hesitantly, his tongue slipped along her bottom lip, she touched his
exploring tongue with hers. He shivered. Both her hands held his face now,
softly exploring his mouth with her lips and tongue. She leaned into his
shoulder and his face followed hers. His arms held her strongly, but loosely.
He gave her small kisses, on her face, on her lekku which caused warm waves to
ripple in her body.
"May I touch you, Quad." She asked solemnly. He nodded.
"As I said the other day, anything."
Her hand reached down between them, into the waist of his pants and she
clumsily drew out little brother. She felt, once again, its velvety smoothness,
its firmness, its tension. This time she looked and saw him in the silver
moonlight.
This time, she watched as she explored him with her fingers. Sometimes she
watched little brother as it twitched or expanded under her fingers. Sometimes
she watched his face. As she stroked him harder, Shaeeah concentrated more on
his face.
"Please, Shaeeah…" his voice quivered and she smiled, delighted to hear some
delicious note in his voice. She reached up, put her hand to his cheek and
guided him to her lips. She kissed him, touching his tongue, teasing his lips
with her own. Quad shivered. He'd never dreamed that kisses could be so
tantalizing. Her other hand stroked him, squeezed him with her fingers. His
hands came up, his fingers shook as he took her face into his hands, holding
her for his mouth and lips and tongue to play with her. He breathed hard as he
kissed her, slipped his tongue into her mouth. He held her while both her hands
now played with his hardness.
Quad gave a whimpering cry that Shaeeah swallowed into the kiss and his body
relaxed onto hers. His breathing was hard, but becoming normal. He leaned back
into the branch of the tree, tears in his eyes. She caught sight of his tears
and her own expression was worried.
"Quad?"
He shook his head as he tucked himself back into his pants. He brushed off her
shirt.
"I'm sorry, Shaeeah." His fingers stroked her face. "I will do anything for
you. But this is wrong. You're thirteen and I'm thirty-two. One of the younger
ones, but still too old."
"I'm almost fourteen, Quad. In a couple of days. And you're sixteen." She put
her hand on his face, touching a tear. "And you haven't had the chance to live
in most of those sixteen years." She whispered then kissed him on his lips.
 
***** Decisions *****
                                   Decisions
Saria sighed.
Crux
Crux had accepted her refusal as genially as he would have her acceptance. He
had flirted with her; gently at first, as though they'd newly meet then with
more innuendo and sparkling wit. After her refusal, he had asked her how he'd
done and told her he'd still come to the med barn to give her shoulder rubs.
"And questions, Crux," she'd told him. "You don't know it all yet." He had
laughed and grabbed her in a hug then given her a soft kiss on her cheek.
"Maybe not, Saria, but I feel like I've been given a treasure."
Pax
She had cried at the hurt look of Pax and gave him a hug and a long sweet kiss.
He told her that he would go to Dantooine; he wouldn't be able to stay on
Saleucami with her there.
Kix
She had held Kix like a younger brother. "You don't love me, Kix and it would
be a hardship for you to try".
He had nodded, his head bowed, his forehead to hers. "Will you teach me, Saria?
Can I come with you and learn?" He had looked into her eyes with a worried
expression. "Am I good enough…?"
"Yes, Kix. You are wonderful. You are more than good enough."
It hadn't been what he wanted, but it had been enough.
Edge
Edge had merely nodded though his blue eyes seemed sad for a moment. He climbed
into the loft, where his bedroll was, and stayed there until the games. But at
the games, his face once again showed his enjoyment and only once did he glance
at Saria with a gentle look of longing. His other looks at her were with
friendship.
Dub,_Gekko,_&_Leven
Dub, Gekko and Leven were a laughing threesome. They'd proposed en masse. She
knew it was because they were scared to propose alone.
"Any of us three," had exclaimed Dub, a smile wreathing his face, the small
scar under his eye, high on his cheekbone pulled into a smile as well.
"Would be ecstatic to marry you," added Gekko. His face held a tattoo on his
cheek back by his ear; three solid bars of herf intersected by a sensuous line,
as well as a scar on his jawline.
"Or all of us," included Leven. "We can share." Leven's face was untouched by
scars, though Saria had seen his scars when he played chase. They were on his
body, one running from his shoulder, down his chest, to touch his opposite
hipbone.  She had asked how he survived that and he had merely shrugged.
"We'll build you a house, watch children, work hard, for you Saria." Dub held
one hand while Gekko held the other.
"We'll be entertaining, kind, considerate, pamper you," promised Gekko.
Leven had stepped in front of them and taken her hands from Dub and Gekko. "We
will love you, Saria." He had kissed her hands, then moved his hands around her
waist, moved his head close to hers. One hand came up to caress her face and he
had kissed her. He trembled as he kissed her, but he had kissed her.
Yes, a man with a scar like that, with a scar from a near-fatal injury, he'd be
brave enough to kiss her.
"No." she had said, smiling. But she had given all three kisses. Gentle
sisterly kisses for Dub and Gekko. Leven had kissed her like Chopper first
kissed her, without knowledge. She kissed Leven long and hard, she gently
touched his lips with her tongue and invited his to play with hers. He'd
accepted the invitation hesitantly, unsure, but his arms had tightened around
her. Dub and Gekko knew enough to move away. Leven had pulled back slightly but
still held her tight.
"More," he asked. "Please. To know, to experience. No expectations of anything
more, Saria." He grinned slightly. "If this is no, yes might have killed me."
She chuckled and had kissed him to all distraction.
"Thank you," he had whispered then smiled. "Thank you, very much."
He was more experienced than at the beginning of that kiss and had walked away
stiffly, muttering something about his deece which had Saria smiling.
Boil
Boil made her distinctly uneasy. It was his stillness and his keen
observations, his aloofness, his confidence.
It also, she had to admit, made him attractive.
"He'd sat next to her during one of games. He'd been one of the first to ask
her to marry him.
"I do find you very attractive, you know." He'd said after a few moments of
watching the game. "I'd love to take my time with you, flirt with you, court
you like a citizen might court you. I'd like to progress from kissing your
fingertips to kissing your lips and further."
"You'd be very good at it, Boil."
He nodded, accepting the compliment as a simple statement of fact. "Instead, I
must ask you when everyone else is asking you. I have to present myself
immediately as half my brothers are doing. Because of that I'm just one in a
crowd."
Saria smiled at that. "Hardly, Boil. You cannot get lost, even in this crowd of
your brothers."
Boil smiled at that and continued. "It takes me time to become relaxed with
someone. Now, more than ever after three years of pushing people away. I know I
seem arrogant and distant. I'm really not. Waxer and I are occasional lovers so
you'd have to share. We have Numa, again another person to take into
consideration. They both like you. We've asked Sketch to join our family so you
can take that into consideration. He hasn't made a choice yet, though he might
if you join us." He sighed. "Saria, will you marry me? I will court you
slowly."
She lowered her head. "I find you attractive as well, Boil. But my heart has
already been taken."
"By Jester or by Sketch?" he asked.
She couldn't answer that.
"You'll be going back to Jester then."
She had nodded.
He'd given her a gentle kiss on the cheek, his fingers playing with a curl by
her ear. "People can change, Saria. Waxer and I were rivals before we were
friends, friends before we were lovers and lovers before we were partners. You
can build on whatever you have with either Jester or with Sketch as long as you
don't keep looking back to what might have been."
"Thank you, Boil". She put her hand on his cheek. "Thank you, my friend."
Djinn
Djinn invited her to sit with him for dinner and she accepted. He asked her to
marry him when he handed her a goldenfruit.
She was soft in her answer and he had simply said, "Ok."
"I take it you don't really love me." She chuckled.
Djinn thought about that as he peeled her another goldenfruit before handing it
to her. He decided that she smiled with her entire face, with her entire body.
"I guess not," he said. "Although I thought I was. It was just lust and I'm so
new to all this …" He raised his shoulders in a shrug. "I would have made you a
good husband."
"Lust has its place in the world, as well. But you're right. It's not love and
it's not worth marrying for."
"That's worth marrying for," he said as he hurriedly licked juice from his
fingers. "Wisdom."
"Then you're wiser than most people." She smiled.
He smiled back and leaned in for a kiss. It was gentle and lingering and sweet
with goldenfruit.
Chopper
Chopper had known as she had walked up to him and, for an instant, his face
became hard and angry. Then the anger vanished though some of the hardness
remained. "It wasn't because of the scars," he said, not even a question though
Saria answered anyway.
"No," she replied, "not because of any scars." She took his hand in hers and
laid her forehead against his chest and his hard face became troubled.
Tenderly, he caressed her hair and gave her a small kiss on the side of her
head; where she had first kissed him.
"I can't even explain why," she said. He heard her muffled sniffs, then her
voice again, "All I can say is that you're not Jester. I wish I did love you,
Chopper."
"Why?"
"Because you'll make a wonderful husband and father." She looked into his
mismatched eyes.
That felt good.
"I'll need a wife for that, Saria," he chuckled into her ear. "But we are
friends."
Saria sighed. She had to tell Sketch.
===============================================================================
                                Can you share?
Saria met Jester as he came down the hill from camp.  He saw her standing
there, Edge beside her.  As Jester slowed his walk and waved the others from
camp on toward breakfast, Edge also started walking down the incline.  Crux
gave Jester a pat on the back before continuing.  Checkout and Backup were
running in that ground-covering lope, wide grins on their faces, and Jester
wondered what pranks they had planned.
Jester stopped in front of her, a worried frown on his face. He took a deep
breath and licked his lips slightly.
"Can you share, Jester?" she asked and he groaned. He'd been asking himself
that for days. Last night he had stared into the fire for hours, chasing the
questions around in his mind.
She glanced down the hill at the departing men then into his eyes. Her lips
firmed. "Because I can." Her arms crossed in front of her. "And I want to," she
whispered. She turned and slowly began walking down the hill. Jester fell in
step beside her.
"Your brothers are wonderful. There is a lot in them all, and in you, that I
love. Loyalty, kindness, strength of will." She smiled. "Stubbornness,
imagination, enthusiasm." Saria looked into his eyes. "I could go on for hours
extolling all your virtues that I have learned. I've fallen in love, Jester.
With all of your brothers and with you again."
Jester frowned and swallowed. He couldn't share that much. She must have seen
that in his face because she reached around his waist. His arm went around her
shoulders. Suddenly his mouth was dry.
"I don't think I…" he began softly but she cut him off. That was unlike her.
She usually listened and Jester looked at her with his soft brown eyes. She was
nervous and, for an odd reason, that made Jester glad. She hadn't quite made up
her mind; which meant he still had a chance.
"No you don't have to try to share with all of them, Jester. I just want to let
you know that I do love them, that everyone of them has a place in my heart.
That I will never forget Crux's flirting or teaching Chopper how to kiss or the
happy eagerness of Baffle or the proposal from Leven, Dub and Gekko. I will
never forget the solidness of Edge and even Col's telling me about his love,
Ehveen. You and your brothers are all unique individuals, but there are so many
qualities you share with them. Strength, courage, integrity."
"We were made that way." Jester shrugged slightly.
Saria nodded. "Yes, you were. But during your lives, different events served to
change you. Personality also comes from the experiences we have in life. One
experience you all share is the GAR, another is desertion. But everything else
comes out of different experiences. Why was Leven able to kiss me but not Dub
or Gekko?" She looked at him, expecting an answer.
He thought for a moment. "Because Leven almost died and he wouldn't want to
pass up the chance for a kiss, no matter if he was ridiculed for it. For Dub
and Gekko, the embarrassment would make them hesitate." Jester gave a half-
grin. "I don't think they would hesitate for long."
"Probably not." Saria smiled back. "And Chopper. Why was Chopper able to remove
his shirt the other day at chase?"
Jester nodded. "Because you kissed him and he realized that his scars didn't
matter." Jester looked at her speculatively. "That means that you kissed him
with his shirt off."
"At the pool." Saria blushed and Jester gave a loud laugh and tightened his hug
on her.
"I love you, Saria. You have many of the qualities of my brothers, generosity,
laughter, curiosity, stubbornness." He grinned at her. "Yes, stubbornness is a
virtue." Jester gave her a quick kiss, releasing before she had time to object.
"So our personalities out of Kamino; and there was only one basic personality
the Kaminoans were aiming for, have been modified by our experiences."
"And what do experiences come from, Jester?" she asked.
His lips thinned then twisted in thought. "Choices?" His reply was soft and she
nodded.
"Other things too, I'm sure, but choices. We make our choices and we live
through them." Saria looked down and softly kicked a pebble from the path.
"Can you share, Jester?" She stopped walking and put her arms around his
shoulders, her fingers curling into his hair. "Are you willing to lose me
because you cannot share?"
He pulled her closer to his body, his arms around her. He bent his head, bowing
into the side of her neck. Jester closed his eyes. She smelled like herself,
sweet and mellow and so much like home. "I love you, Saria. I will always love
you. I miss you every morning I wake and you are not there. I miss you every
evening when I go to sleep and reach out for you but cannot touch you. I will
miss you in the future just as much. You have seen what sharing does to me,
Saria."
"No, Jester. I have not seen what sharing does to you. I have seen what
confusion does to you. I have seen what infidelity would do to you. Would it be
the same if you were sharing me? If it was your brother on the other side of
the bed?"
"I don't' know, Saria." He whispered into her ear. "Please don't leave me."
Saria pulled back slightly and he felt the queasy roil of rejection in his
stomach, but it was only slightly and she kept her hands threaded in his hair.
"How have you felt these past days when your brothers here were all courting
me? How did you feel?"
He was startled at the fierceness in her voice. Her face was flushed and he
knew she would begin to cry in a moment.
"I felt bad that I had …" he looked around for the words. "That I chased you
away. I felt good to know that my brothers would take care of you." He gave her
a quick grin and slowly touched his forehead to hers. "I was ecstatic to find
out you carried my child."
"So you felt good that your brothers would take care of me?" She questioned,
her face hard.
He nodded.
"You felt good to know that your brothers would kiss me and love me and, in
time, make more children with me." She repeated, her hands coming to his face,
cupping his jaws in her capable hands.
"Yes."
She asked again, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Can you share me,
Jester? Because that is your choice to make."
Jester sighed and shivered, remembering Rex's words. He loved Saria and if he
could do no more than hug her and kiss, then that would be enough. "I'll try,
Saria. I will welcome your choice."
"Thank you, Jester." The tears started tumbling down her cheeks. "I love you,
Jester and I have missed you all these months of misunderstanding. I have
missed you holding me and your laughter and your hugs and your kisses. I've
missed you watching out for me and your body beside mine in bed."
Jester hugged her, pulling her close to him, his head tucked in her neck,
kissing her, nuzzling her, whispering words of love in her ear. "I love you,
Saria. Have I ever told you that?" He couldn't remember that he had. "I'll tell
you that every day, Saria. Every hour if you wish." He moved until he was face
to face with her, their foreheads and noses touching, his fingers curled in her
hair. "I will spend my life telling you and showing you that I love you." His
hand dropped to her belly and he spread his finger widely over her pregnancy.
"We will love this child, you and I and whichever of my brothers you chose."
"None, Jester. I've chosen none of your brothers yet; not in the way you mean."
She took a deep breath. "I've invited Kix to be my assistant for some training,
then my partner if he wishes."
Jester nodded. "He was an excellent combat medic. I think he'll surpass your
expectations and I know he wishes, Saria. So very badly."
"Can he live with us?" she asked.
Jester smiled. "Can you share me, Saria? I think Kix would rather share me than
you."
"With Kix? Yes, Jester, I can share you. With Sula or Saoha or Fives? Yes. With
Cass Cjain? No, not after this mess. Perhaps I could have before, I'll never
know. If you ever wish to be shared with anyone else, Jester, ask me. I will
share you with almost anyone who loves us." She hugged him, her head against
his chest. "I never thought I would share you, but your brothers have shown me
so much about myself as well as about you and them."
"In time, then," he whispered, "which brother or brothers would you have join
us?"
"Sketch. I want Sketch with us."
"If I can share with anyone, it would be Sketch. Anyone else?"
"I don't know." Her hands released him, slowly, reluctantly. "We need to talk
so much more."
Jester's hands drop until only one arm circled her and they started walked
toward the back yard.
"I'm starved." She said, sniffing a bit. "Emotional scenes always leave me
hungry."
Jester chuckled. Saria was coming home. "I know."
===============================================================================
                                Decisions - Suu
Suu glanced over to the fire, where Numa was maintaining the low, steady flame
needed for the eggs. Shaeeah had already retrieved the blue milk and was
preparing the juice. They'd run out of muja just yesterday and Jek had
suggested diluted goldenfruit; it was sweet, it was juicy and, most important,
it was in season and plentiful. Shy had gathered the two large bowls, the eggs,
a little milk and a few spices for flavoring to start mixing the eggs. He was
becoming quite proficient as a kitchen assistant considering he'd never eaten
outside ship's mess or rations. As she finished pulling out the last of the
muffins, a treat instead of the regular toast, she saw Shy tap an egg on the
edge of the bowl and not move. She watched him for a second longer, noting the
perplexed look on his face, the confusion edging toward fear. Suu stepped
beside him.
"What's the matter, Shy?"
"It's not…" he began tentatively then reverted to trooper mode as he did when
confused. "Sir, this egg is not behaving as an egg should."
"Let me see, Shy." He held it up for her inspection, shoulders back, as at
attention as he could be sitting down. He had tapped it firmly and tried to
separate the two halves with one hand as she had shown him. But the egg would
not separate easily. She took it from his hand and eyed the crack a bit more.
"It's hard boiled, Shy. See? It's already cooked." She pulled a shell fragment
away so he could see the cooked albumen.
Shy's brows drew down. "So we will not be able to use it for scrambled eggs?"
"No. Just set it aside and someone will have a boiled egg instead of scrambled.
It must have gotten mistaken for a raw one."
"Yes, sir." He thought for a moment. "I've never had a boiled egg; I'd like to
have it."
"Certainly. Boiled eggs are good for traveling and to keep for a snack. I send
some out with Cut when he's in the field, but scrambled eggs usually taste
better."
"Not if they're reconstituted." He grinned as he cracked another egg against
the bowl. "Uh, Suu. This one is also boiled."
That's when she began to suspect. Suu moved next to Shy and picked up an egg at
random, set it on the edge of the table and spun it. It spun like a top, round
and steady. Shy picked up one and spun it also. He stopped it with a finger
then lifted up his finger. The egg didn't move. He nodded. "This one is also
boiled."
"I suspect our friends," she spun another egg; "Checkout and Backup have been
here. Test them all, set aside any raw ones. I have to think."
"You're angry?" Shy asked as his fingers quickly spun eggs. So far, they were
all boiled.
"Extremely." She crossed her arms in front of her and tapped her foot. "Numa. I
don't think we'll need the fire.
"Yes, aunt Suu. I'll bank it low for dinner."
"No, Numa. Simply put it out. With water."
Numa turned to look at Suu with surprise but saw the anger in her face and in
her posture. "It will make it more difficult for us to cook tonight," she said
slowly.
"We are through cooking, Numa. I believe Checkout and Backup will be doing the
cooking from now on."
Shy snickered as he continued testing the last of the eggs. "Good joke. On
them." Then he frowned and the fear came into his face again. "Sir, will you …?
How will I eat, sir?"
"No one will starve, Shy." Suu comforted softly. "I will think after this
confrontation and then we will talk. If nothing else, we do have rations."
"Yes, sir." His face held its fear, but he nodded tersely as he stood and took
a position in parade rest at the door.
Several men, already in line with their plates in hand, watched in confusion as
the fire was extinguished. Almost everyone was within earshot, but Suu stood at
the fireplace and waited a few more minutes while Shaeeah set out the muffins
and Numa the bowls of hard boiled eggs. Cut, seated near Rex and his family,
gave her an upraised eyebrow. She flicked her eyes toward the grinning oncoming
pilots and he nodded his understanding. Jester was walking down the hill, his
arm around Saria. Cody, seated next to Sketch on the bench, was frowning at the
unusual activity of Suu and the kitchen crew. Checkout and Backup could not
restrain their wide grins. Suu could tell by their grins or confusion, which
men knew of this joke.
"Attention, everyone." Suu called out in a voice barely above her normal
speaking tone. Several men actually came to attention for a moment, before
relaxing. "It appears that our gunship pilots, Checkout and Backup, have boiled
all the eggs." She paused to listen. There was laughter from some men, a few
chuckles spread through the crowd, looks of confusion from some men who didn't
know a boiled egg from scrambled. Yet. "It is quite a funny joke." Suu let them
relax then continued speaking.
"This means no scrambled eggs. It means no eggs with which to bake anything,
like bread. It means that the muffins we cooks made last night are your last
baked goods. Please enjoy them." She turned to go back into the door, flanked
on one side by Shy and on the other side by Numa and Shaeeah. Suu did a sharp
about-face to face the hungry men. "It also means that Checkout and Backup have
volunteered to be your cooks."
Another about-face had Suu at the door, into the kitchen. Numa, Shaeeah and Shy
followed her.
Dare had loped up to the door, confused anger in his eyes. He grabbed the door
before Suu could close it and motioned to his glass. He was dutiful about
drinking his nutritionally adequate and absolutely tasteless liquid meals. Then
he tapped himself in the chest with the fingers of one hand. Suu had been
scrambling him eggs with blue milk, enough milk to make the eggs a soft pudding
he could suck into a straw. Or she would softly poach them so he could eat the
runny yolk through the straw. She knew he looked forward to at least one
delicious meal a day.
"I'm sorry, Dare. They've boiled all the eggs."
Dare turned to Checkout.
"Come on, Dare. She's got some eggs in there." Checkout gestured toward the
kitchen.
"And I'm not going to cook," shouted Backup from near the smoldering, wet fire
pit.
Dare simply stood there, staring at Checkout, his fingers tightly clenched in a
fist. Then he turned and ran back to the barn.
Suu shut the door on the beginning confusion in the back yard.
"Numa will you take Dare with you to find some eggs? Show him places were the
nuna roost out near the pool. Then make sure he knows how to prepare them
himself."
Numa smiled. "Of course, aunt Suu."
"May I go also," Shy voiced.
"Of course, Shy. But I'd like you back here in the kitchen with me before noon.
I don't know what's going to happen at lunch."
Shy gave her a lazy smile. "I'll be here, Captain."
It was a joke, his only joke, and she smiled back. "Get to it, trooper," she
ordered and watched him lope off with Numa toward the med barn.
"What should I do?" Shaeeah asked.
"You go check with the families and see what, if anything, they will do. Jester
and Saria can go to their house, of course. But will they take anyone with
them? What about the Tanos? Aureki cooks wonderfully, of course, but do they
have sufficient supplies? What about Fives' family?" She thought a moment.
"We'll take care of Sketch, of course, but I'll want him to learn to cook. Who
else?"
Shaeeah thought a moment then shook her head. "Jek will want his big brothers,
but I saw Gekko and Leven laughing. They knew."
Suu smiled. "Shaeeah, how do you think Checkout and Backup knew that boiled
eggs don't show from the outside? You saw Shy's confusion and they wouldn't
know much more about eggs than him." Shaeeah's eyes widened.
"Jek!"
"I suspect your little brother had as much a hand in this as anyone."
"So he's going to be …" Shaeeah's eyes glittered.
"Out hungry with the troopers and don't look so pleased about it." Suu
admonished. "Now, who else do you nominate to our table for dinners?"
"Chopper. Quad. Kix. Edge. Maybe …" Shaeeah thought. "Maybe a random uncle each
day. To remind them what they'll be missing."
"Go and find out about the other families." Suu muffled her laughter. Shaeeah
had a devious streak in her.
                              * * * * * * * * * *
"She can't do that, commander." Checkout was facing Cody. "She's the cook."
Cody merely watched him. He didn't answer to commander any more.
"So what are you doing to do, sir?" demanded Backup.
Cody looked at Sketch, who watched with a lazy grin.
"What am I going to do about what, Backup?" He ignored Checkout.
"About the cook, sir."
Cody leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together. "It
seems to me that you've made a grievous error. You've assumed that this is a
military set up. You've assumed that I'm the commander. You've assumed that you
have some special position. You were not listening to the meeting the first
night. Perhaps you ought to go out and interview some of the men who were more
attentive. Maybe look up the definition of family."
Sketch interrupted, softly. "Perhaps you ought to remember who has taken on
extra work. Do you think Suu makes twelve loaves of bread daily because it is
enjoyable? Do you think they normally eat one or two steaks a day? Do you think
they run through blue milk as though they bathed in it? Suu wakes in the early
dawn before anyone else and is usually prepping for the next day's meals when I
fall asleep."
"But she's just the cook." Checkout exclaimed sullenly.
Cody guffawed; Sketch smirked and shook his head. Behind them Rex laughed and
both pilots jumped in surprise to see Rex and Cut.
"Just the cook?" exclaimed Cut. "If we were shipside, I'd call you out one-on-
one for referring to my wife that way."
"I'd second you, Cut." Rex put a hand on his shoulder.
"Gekko, tell the others that I won't be in camp tonight, I'll be making sweet
with my wife so she'll feed me." Cut shook his head. "Checkout, Backup, sit
down." Gekko moved off as both pilots sat cross-legged on the ground. Backup
looked about to object.
Cody stood, giving his portion of the bench to Cut with a hidden wink and Cut
nodded to him before sitting. Cody stood at his side, in the subordinate
position. Checkout and Backup were thinking military, he'd give them military.
He stood behind Cut in parade rest; as if this were a tribunal.
"I'll admit," Cut began, "no one gave you any choice about coming here. You
were rescued from Kamino but no one objected. Are these pranks your way of
objecting?" He looked at the two men who shook their heads with 'no,sir'.
"I don't think we've asked too much of you. Just get healthy and make yourself
some future plans." Cut rubbed his palms together thoughtfully. "We've asked
for some help around the farm, not a lot, but some. For the most part, men are
being helpful and things were running smoothly. Mostly we want to give you
time. Time to regain what has been lost. Time to plan and prepare for the
future; whatever future you chose for yourselves."
He was silent, looking both men in the eyes. "What did you arrive here with?"
Checkout flushed and Cut continued. "What do you think I arrived here with?"
Again he paused and let the men consider his story told the first night.
"Everything," he spat angrily, "everything you have been provided with, from
your clothes to your food to its preparation, from the thermal pool to the
games you play every evening and the bedrolls you sleep on, from the medical
care provided by Saria to whatever else is needed has been provided for you.
Most of it by my wife whom you so disparagingly refer to as 'just a cook'."
Cut stood and glowered at the two men. "You will need to apologize to my wife.
She still probably won't cook for you, but she might allow you the use of her
house, her kitchen and her utensils to cook. If you apologize to Numa and
Shaeeah and Shy, they might show you enough cooking to keep the other men from
rioting." Cut glanced at Rex. "And I think Aureki simply won't feel like
cooking in her condition."
Rex shook his head. "I doubt it."
Cut pulled his eyes back to the men. "You have today to apologize. I'm leaving
for town tomorrow and I'm taking Suu for a much needed, couple of nights away
from here. Maybe you'll appreciate her when she gets back."
Cut walked away, his shoulders stiff. "Just a cook," he muttered angrily, "just
a cook."
===============================================================================
                              Decisions - Sketch
Sketch had seen them coming down the hill for breakfast, Jester's arm around
Saria, her body pressed close to his. He had wanted to cry.  He had wanted to
turn to Cody sitting next to him and beat him with hard fists simply because he
was there.  He had wanted to take the boil eggs and thrown them as far as he
could. Instead, he swallowed his sorrow and bit into a muffin that was moist
and sweet and only served to underline the bittersweet nature of love.
Sketch couldn't really be unhappy that Saria chose Jester. It was what he had
wanted when she'd run into the house that day. He hadn't realized that would
change. He would miss talking with her more than he'd miss her kisses and he'd
miss her kisses like he missed walking. However, Jester had found her and loved
her a year before Sketch arrived, before any of them arrived. There was no
denying that Jester loved her.
He'd known when she'd come running into the house the day of the argument that
she'd return to Jester. You didn't cry over someone that much and not love
them. He'd given her rules, guidelines for handling his brothers. He'd given
her time. He'd given her advice. He'd tried to make himself into a brother for
her. He'd known she would return to Jester and he'd still fallen in love with
her. Di'kut. Sketch wondered, briefly, if she would have stayed with him if he
had not confessed his impotence. It gave him a small assurance of pride that
she might have stayed with him, after what had happened.
They'd come down the hill and sat with him while they ate hard boiled eggs and
muffins. Saria sat close to him on one side while Jester sat his other side.
"I'll be going home with Jester," she told him.
He had shrugged. "I thought you might, Saria." He had paused, not moving or
saying anything for a long moment. "I'm sorry you didn't choose me." He
laughed. "I probably would have made a lousy husband; not being able to take
care of you with my leg and all." She understood what he referred to. "But I
love you. I would have loved being a father to your child."
"I know that, Sketch. I love you." She looked at Jester. "I told Jester I want
you in our life. I want to share you, with you. However it's phrased." She
glanced down at her plate. "I want to know the details of sharing."
Sketch looked at Jester, leaning against the wall his arms crossing his chest.
"Jester doesn't share, Saria," he said gently. She said nothing, but Jester
did.
"I'm willing to try, Sketch."
Sketch saw hard unwillingness in his body and shook his head. "You'll need more
time, Jester, to get use to the idea." He paused, looking into Saria's eyes.
"I'll need time too. I've got a knee to get fixed and then a year of physical
therapy." She knew it was an excuse and accepted it as the gift he was giving
Jester.
Jester's body softly relaxed. "If that's what you need, Sketch."
"It is." Sketch said, even as he mentally castigated himself for giving her up.
Again.
Saria laughed. "Me too. I'm already feeling as graceful and delicate as a
bantha with a jet pack. I'll need time also."
"I want to share. I want to have you with us in all things." Jester put his arm
around Sketch. "I will learn, brother."
So, at some indefinable time in the future, he would have a home with Jester
and Saria. At some indefinable time he would be a second father to her child.
But the future, itself, was indefinable, subject to change without notice and
Sketch could only take his days as they came.
The camps shifted. Cut had gone into Issuya taking Suu with him. Jester moved
from his camp back to his house as did Saria. At times he asked for help in
building and offered credits for the labor. The ex-troopers all refused the
credits. They were helping their brother and his wife build a home. For their
labor, Jester showed them how to bake bread and there was always a delicious
lunch provided for the workers. Unlike the lunches provided by Checkout and
Backup.
Jester's camp became Dantooine hopefuls. Col was there, of course, and told of
his time on Dantooine, a myriad of details about living a semi-nomadic life.
Pax, Dub, Gekko, Leven, Countdown, Crux, Kaver and Dare were with him; though
Saria insisted Dare and Kayl sleep either in the barn or at the house. Kayl
moved to the scout's camp, as did Shaeeah. Chopper spent a lot of his time
there, though no one knew where he slept, as did Quad, Shy, Djinn, and Riposte.
Cody, Echo and Rex led the last camp, keeping an eye on Checkout and Backup.
Jesse was also in their camp with Riven and Baffle. Edge stayed at the barn and
Kix moved into Shaeeah's bedroom at her insistence. The shifting of the men
provided new friendships and loyalties because they were sorting themselves
into men with a shared vision. Col's camp, as it was now called, were the most
directed. They provided most of the labor for the upcoming spring planting,
asked the most questions, requested Aureki teach them about money and dealing
with merchants, and asked Jek to teach them how to ride eopies. Scout's camp
became a camp of ghosts, showing up for breakfast and dinner then vanishing
like spirits into the forest. They went to the rim of arable land, beyond the
caldera and spent a few days in the desert. Cody and Rex had a difficult time
with their camp. Checkout and Backup had a falling out over the incident of the
boiled eggs. Checkout had apologized to Suu before Cut had taken her to Issuya,
Backup had not. Jesse was a morose presence, striking out angrily and bitterly
at times. Riven spent most of his time with mechanical duties, necessary and
not, citing the inhospitable atmosphere at camp. Riven had confided to Sketch
that he was scared he wouldn't pass his psyc, though he hadn't said why. Sketch
spent much of his time drawing, sometimes taking the long trip on crutches to
visit Jester's home with his brothers.
The very lovely Saoha came to visit him one evening and entice him for a small
walk in the silver moonlight. Sketch was lonely, Saria didn't visit him as
often in the evenings anymore; so he smiled and allowed himself to be enticed.
He was slow on his crutches but Saoha didn't seem to mind. Several days
earlier, he'd given her the picture he'd drawn of her. She'd said it was
beautiful. He tried to be gallant and told her it was her beauty that inspired
him.
Sketch wished he could put his arm around her slender waist as they walked, but
that wasn't going to happen. He sighed softly. She smiled and reached around
his waist, her hand on the small of his back. Not close, because of the
crutches, but touching. Sketch smiled.
They sat to rest on some round, flat boulders. Saoha lay back to watch the few
stars bright enough to shine through the light of two moons. Sketch lay on his
side to watch her, memorizing the planes and lines of her face, the curve of
her cheek, the sweep of her nose. Soon enough, she forgot the stars and turned
to him, brought her fingers to his cheek and drew his face to hers. Their kiss
was soft, sweet and lingering. Sketch reached out his hand to her face,
touching her silken, rosy skin, and their kisses got deeper. She curled closer
to him. He felt her warmth, her body, against him. He liked the kisses and felt
no urgency for anything else, because there could be nothing else. Sketch felt
as though time had stopped.
A soft, warm rain began and rather than jumping up to hid under the shelter of
the thick trees, Saoha laughed and threw back her head. Sketch gazed at her.
"Dance for me, Saoha." He asked softly, knowing she would dance beautifully.
She bent, kissed his lips, ran her tongue on the inside of his lower lip and
danced in the rain, in the forest. Just for him.  For him alone. He had more
pictures in his head, more drawings to do. Drawings he wouldn't show Numa and
Shaeeah. Drawings of him and Saoha; drawings of what he would do with her, if
he could. Drawings of wishes.
Saoha slowed her dancing, her breathing fast, and came to him. Joy in her eyes
and laughter on her lips. Her lips were sweetly warm as she tugged off his
shirt. Sketch resisted, a little, before giving up his shirt to her tugging
with a laugh then helped her with her shirt. She lay next to him for more
kisses. His hands resting on her waist, drawing up her ribs towards her
breasts, pulling her tight against him as the tempo of his kisses increased.
They became harder, more demanding, his tongue slipping between her lips,
teasing her.
His arm held her head off the stone, but his other hand slipped to curl around
her breast, his fingers gently tugging her nipple.
"You like this, don't you?" he said, knowing, not asking. "You're letting me
know what you like, aren't you?"
"Yes, I didn't think you'd object. You seemed open to possibilities. I can stop
guiding you if you wish." Saoha nuzzled her head against him as she spoke then
stopped and looked into his eyes. Her smile was warm, enigmatic. Sketch touched
her lips with his fingers.
Sketch smiled, he had a beautiful woman in his arms. "No. No objections. I can
tell you're guiding, not demanding. I trust you know what you like. But please
don't demand from me." He bent his head with a frown. "Don't demand because I
can't… Surely you know that I can't…." The words died in self-loathing.
Saoha was solemn and put her hand to his bowed face, her fingers caressing his
cheek, his lips. "I know that you are filled with hurt. I would take that hurt
from you, if I could but memory always remains. We shall go no further than you
wish." She smiled and leaned forward, pressing her breasts against him, her
palms on his chest.
"It's not what I wish; it's how far I can..."
She tickled his nipples with her fingers. He shut his eyes and breathed deeply.
That felt good all the way down to his groin.
"You so like to be touched," she said softly. "If you wish, I will touch you
anywhere and everywhere with no expectations." She smiled an unexpectedly sweet
smile. "But you must touch me, as well."
"No expectations," he reiterated to her and she nodded.
He was deliberate; slower than she wanted. His fingers barely brushed against
her breasts; as he watched her nipples tighten into dark purple pearls with the
drops of rain catching on her skin. She moaned softly. Her eyes were luminous
as he stroked her body everywhere with his fingers. He could feel the sexual
tension building in her body. He liked the slower tempo. It gave him time to
feel. She also touched him. Her fingers combed through his hair, her hands
caressed his face, his shoulders, his chest. She whispered warm lust in his
ear. Her mouth kissed him, nibbled, nipped, licked, sucked. Saoha brought
lustful rumblings from his lips. He was dazzled. He was relaxed and happy to be
with Saoha, here and now.
"Shall I give you my feelings?" she offered.
"What?" He asked in bewilderment.
"I can feel your emotions. As someone loving you, I can feel much of what you
are feeling physically. What most people don't know about Zeltrons is that we
can also control someone else's emotions or open to them and let them live our
emotions for a short time." Saoha blushed. "Usually it is a proposal for
marriage or a long-term relationship."
"I'm flattered." One side of Sketch's face lifted in a grin. "Two women in
little over two week."
They both laughed and Sketch bent his head to catch her lips with his, but she
felt his hesitation and didn't open her feelings to him.
She straddled him, high on his hips to avoid jostling his knee, and he grimaced
momentarily at his lack of response. She bent to kiss him as his hands slid up
and down her back. He reached between her legs and gave a surprised exclamation
at her wetness, at her desire for him.
It had been a long time since he'd had a woman to love. He didn't really count
Saria; she had always been Jester's. He loved all the women he'd ever had,
Saoha would be the third and he'd love her too. Love her with all his heart
while she was with him. Love her memory when they were apart. He'd never
thought to have someone love him after they'd twisted his leg; never thought to
love after what had happened in prison. Yet, Saria had loved him, perhaps he
should count her, and now Saoha loved him.
His cupped hands squeezed around her breasts and his fingers tugged at her
nipples. He smiled lazily, reached behind and pulled her downward, reaching one
breast with his mouth. He teased it with his teeth delicately then quickly
sucked it into his mouth. She gasped, coming. He was surprised at how quickly
she'd come.
She looked at him, her wide eyes pleading with him. He knew. "Yes, Saoha,
please share your emotions with me." He said softly, not knowing what to
expect, but understanding that it would be an intimacy he would never forget.
Sketch gasped, not only in the aftermath of her orgasm, that relaxing lassitude
that swept over his body, but also in the depth of her love, her desire for
him, for so many of his brothers, the want for a child, the sometimes-rage at
her beloved sister, the love for that sister, the love for Fives and occasional
exasperation, the sparkling delight in the love for baby peach. The way the
wind was the sensuous fingers of nature and the tingling of rain on her skin.
He felt her pleasure of co-piloting Silver Bird, the beauty of the stars, the
dexterity of her fingers. He felt emotions from her past, the first man to
touch her, to please her, the pain of her father's death, the feelings of
betrayal at her mother's remarriage, yet love also for her mother and the new
men filling a void in her life. He felt the hardness and strength of his body
next to hers, his touch on her skin. He felt his love for her and Saria and his
other loves reflected back into him. All in a fraction of time, all in some
eternity.
Sketch looked at Saoha, breathing hard. "No wonder that's usually a proposal."
He was almost overwhelmed with how good she felt, how much she enjoyed him. How
satisfied she was. How much he had pleased her. He had pleased her. Sketch made
a low sound in his throat, between a groan and a growl, as he pulled her closer
to him, pulled her into his arms to protect her. To please her more.
She fell asleep in his arms. Sketch smiled as he watched her sleep. The rain
had stopped sometime during their lovemaking and it would be morning soon.
Someone might see them. She was naked, absolutely beautiful. She gently opened
her eyes, kissed him, curled tighter into his arms, and returned back to sleep.
Sketch heard the footsteps of men, running in a soldier's quick pace. He
smiled, embarrassed, and waved as Boil, Waxer, and Numa went by. Boil smiled as
they went by. Numa slowed and glanced from the corner of her eyes but Waxer
coughed and she moved on by. Waxer had turned his head and winked at Sketch.
Sketch was glad it hadn't been the entire scouts' camp.
Sketch heard laughter from somewhere above him, but couldn't move his head back
far enough to see who.
"I'll be down in a moment, Sketch." It was Chopper's voice.
He heard the rustle of tree branch and brush.
Saoha purred and stretched, her eyes slightly open. She was leisurely wakening,
softly rubbing Sketch's bare shoulder, curling her hand in the hollow of his
throat.
Suddenly, Chopper was there on the boulder with them. Gracefully, he sat cross-
legged at their heads.
"You two had quite a night." He said with a smile. "So did anyone within
hearing range." He pointed towards where they'd come from yesterday evening.
"That would include the house, maybe the barn and," Chopper pointed back the
way he'd come, "Scouts' camp." He ruffled Sketch's hair with his hand, softly
bent and kissed Saoha on her cheek. He knew kisses on the cheek were
acceptable. "You also had a couple of visitors."
"Yeah, Chopper. I saw Boil and Waxer and Numa. I suspect I'll be getting a
parental encounter from Waxer." Sketch felt good, except for his leg, it was a
bit cold and might… Saoha push her body against him, gently pillowing his knee
between her thighs. He felt no pain and she was warm.
"Probably," Chopper nodded his agreement. "Did you see Leven? Or Baffle? Or
even Jesse?"
"No. I was pretty oblivious to them." Sketch had a chagrinned look on his face
that almost covered the triumphant grin. Almost.
"I felt some people. I did not know who they were. They meant no harm." Saoha
smiled. "Two took their pleasure at hand."
Chopper laughed. "They did at that, Sa'." He caught Sketch's warning look. "I
can call her Sa', she said so."
Sketch leaned forward to touch Saoha's face with his as she nodded. He smiled.
She loved him, he satisfied her; she had opened herself to him and he knew
this.
They were walking back to the house for breakfast. Chopper wasn't optimistic
about what would be served so Sketch offered to cook breakfast for the three of
them. They were slow, keeping pace with Sketch, Saoha between them, all three
wrapped in the scent of her pleasure.
"So, did you just happen upon us, like Baffle and Leven?" Sketch asked
Chopper laughed. "No, you just happened to have the … good fortune … to pause
under my sleeping tree. I've been up there every night since we got here." He
shrugged. "It's a comfortable tree."
"Who was the last one?" Saoha reached around Chopper's waist, pulling him
closer. He shivered as she drew him closer to her. Was it an invitation? He
would ask her. Then he glanced at Sketch and decided he would not ask. Sketch
would share, but sometimes ... Chopper stopped thinking about it as he answered
her question.
"That was Jesse. He was …" Chopper shook his head. "Not happy."
"No, he was devastated. So terribly hurt and sad and angry and dark." she
looked at Sketch, lightly reached around his waist. "So very much the opposite
of you last night."
"I'll talk with him, Sketch. He doesn't know I was there, so he won't be … "
Chopper tilted his head to one side.  "As embarrassed." Chopper thought a
moment. "Saoha, were his feelings really devastated or simply unhappy because
he couldn't..."
"Devastated," she reiterated. "It is a pain so deep it is coming to define how
he sees himself."
"What else?" Chopper asked her, his hand lightly caressing the small of her
back, almost absently.
"Anger, at himself. Something he did."
"Guilt?" He caught his hand caressing her and stopped. Maybe he'd ask her in a
couple of weeks after talking about it with Sketch.
"Yes, components of that. A lot of that. Regret." Saoha frowned. "He is so
unhappy and we cannot help because he is not letting go."
Chopper frowned then slowly nodded. "And all tangled up with sex."
"How do you know that, Chopper?" Sketch was moving a little faster now; they
were on the last part of the pathway, where it was flat, solid and opened more
widely.
"I watched him, Sketch. I think I have an idea of what's bothering him. He came
in after Order 37."
Sketch nodded his head in the direction of the house, leaving the problem of
Jesse to Chopper. "Are we going to be able to face Baffle and Leven today?"
There was a grin on his face.
"I'll just be myself. No one knew I was there," said Chopper.
"No one?" asked Saoha softly as she looked up at him from beneath her flirting
eyes. He turned a little red at the knowing glance from the Zeltran empath.
Sketch laughed. It was a good day.
===============================================================================
                               Decisions - Jesse
Jesse was alone. He sought solitude and was now on the big rock. He avoided the
chase games every day in the front yard. He avoided groups at dinner, being one
of the first or last to arrive. Mostly though, he avoided the women, not that
there were too many to avoid.
Chopper sighed. He'd been like that once. Avoiding people, avoiding groups,
avoiding his brothers; avoiding everyone because he was a worthless, soulless,
ugly flesh-droid. Like Jesse, he'd had his scars. He was under no illusions
that he could help his brother much. All he could do was provide a mirror for
Jesse. The hard work would be Jesse's. Chopper knew that also.
Easily Chopper climbed the big, flat boulder of black granite interlaced with
quartz and sat near Jesse. A handful of moments later, Jesse sighed and stood.
"Stay, Jesse. Tell me about it." Chopper stared at Jesse's face; at his bendu
tattoo overwritten with cut scars, some almost three years old, some as recent
as twenty days. They'd cut the tattoo because the bendu was the symbol of the
Republic and all the best it had stood for such as the Rights of Sentience. It
had once been Jesse's core belief. Chopper could see a bitter reply form on
Jesse's lips but Chopper merely looked at him, letting the scars on his own
face do his speaking.
Jesse looked at Chopper, looked at his scars, and the reply died unspoken.
Jesse sat but no words came for a long time. Chopper waited.
Jesse's words came on a breeze, so soft Chopper could barely hear them.
"She wasn't a beautiful woman, Chopper."
"They're all beautiful, Jesse."
Jesse thought about that. Chopper could see him chewing his lower lip then give
several small nods.
"She was in her early twenties with blue eyes and dark brown hair. She might
have been pretty if there hadn't rebellion. She had a broken nose, scars same
as any brother. She was a fighting woman; decently trained and strong enough to
break Ansel's arm when they captured her. She kicked Chon in the balls…" Jesse
looked down and absently tossed a pebble across the boulder's flatness. "During
interrogation. After he took his turn." He glanced at Chopper who merely gazed
into the distance. Jesse swallowed and continued. "You could tell she had a
temper. And the cussing that came from her," Jesse shook his head, "would have
put any trooper to shame. We asked her questions. She didn't answer."
Jesse was quiet again.
"She sounds beautiful," said Chopper, nodding. "Dark hair, blue eyes, capable."
Chopper smiled. "Even kicked her rapist in the balls. I think I like her."
"She's dead, Chopper."
"I know that, Jesse. Do you say remembrance for her?"
"No. I don't need it to remember her. Most of the time I'd like to forget her."
Chopper sighed. "Remembrance is also for the living. What's her name?"
"Elarlu Cihon. Her friends called her Ela." Jesse sucked in his lips. "We
mocked her by calling her Ela. Mostly Chon as he took her."
"Took her where, Jesse?" Chopper's voice was angry. "Call it rape if it was
rape."
"It was rape." Jesse admitted softly. "Hard and vicious. They were armored when
they raped her. The plates coming together as they pushed, pinching her skin.
The armor bruising her."
So after the other guys, you took your turn…" Chopper wasn't sure of that, but
it seemed likely for the hate Jesse had shown himself.
"Yeah. I took my turn. She'd stopped fighting by then. Guess there's a limit to
anyone's temper. She was crying. Not loud like she expected help. Just real
quit, tears running down her face along with the blood from her nose and mouth.
When I took her," Jesse paused, exhaled. "When I raped her, it wasn't what I
expected. I didn't enjoy it."
"You expected to enjoy that, Jesse?" Chopper kept the shock out of his voice,
but only barely. He hoped he sounded … interested, not condemning.
"I didn't know what to expect, Chopper. I'd never had a woman before." Jesse's
voice was angry and sharp. "I was curious, I'd never had a woman before." He
rasped the words between his teeth. "I wanted to know what it was like."
Chopper bowed his head. By Jesse's harsh reply, he hadn't totally kept the
shock from his voice. He could understand Jesse wanting experience. He hadn't
had a woman, not really, but he was curious. Still, he wouldn't trade Saria's
kisses for Jesse's experience. He wouldn't trade getting shot at by a company
of droids or what they'd done to him in prison for Jesse's experience. Jesse
continued talking.
"She raised her hand slowly. I was ready if she tried to attack me but she just
touched my tattoo, traced the part on my nose and cheek." Jess paused, reliving
that touch.
Chopper knew that he would do the same if he ever told anyone about kissing
Saria. He'd pause, remember; relive the experience.
Jesse continued. "I remember that part the best, Chopper. Sometimes, I have
good dreams where she keeps touching my face. Not just the tattoo or the scars,
but both sides of my face. I have dreams where she's touching my eyes, drawing
her hands down my cheeks, tempting my lips with her fingers." Jesse closed his
eyes, reliving dreams; the tentative smile on his lips at odds with the tears
in his eyes.
"Those are dreams, Jesse. I'm interested in what happened."
Jesse opened his eyes and nodded. "As she's touching me, she looked in my eyes
and said, 'You have no right to this'. I ran. I jump up and ran out of the
room, out of the barracks. I couldn't get far enough away from that truth."
"When I come back five or six hours later, she's dead. I would have got her out
of there, Chopper, if she'd still been alive." Chopper heard the tears in
Jesse's ragged plea. Jesse made no effort to keep then back and he wiped his
eyes with the back of his fist. "I lodged an official complaint, told my squad
that wasn't going to happen again. A day later, they hold me down and cut my
tattoo. I was headed to med when I decided to desert." Jesse's voice hardened.
"Because my squad wouldn't have done that without permission from the captain;
they wouldn't have even been off-duty without the captain's go-ahead."
Chopper shook his head. "Jesse, you are so….." He bit his lip. "Screwed."
"You spent all those years being screwed up." Jesse's voice was sharp, but
Chopper caught something plaintive in it.
"Yeah, Jesse. Screwed up, not screwed. There's a big difference." Chopper was
quiet as he watched Jesse pull his knees up to his chest and curl his arms
around them, dropping his forehead on his forearm.
Chopper knew it would be hard to do this. He'd seen Cody come out of debriefing
Rex, rank with sweat and shivering. For some reason, another man's hell was
always worse than your own. He would have asked Cody, but he'd seen Rex looking
at Jesse with pity ever since they'd arrived on Saleucami. Rex seemed to know
something that Cody didn't. So Chopper had asked Rex if he could debrief Jesse
about the incident. Rex seemed to understand what he was talking about.
"I should have done it the first day. He was open, ready to talk." Rex shook
his head. "But there was so much to do. Now he doesn't want to talk about it.
Especially to me. It'll be hard, Chopper. Can you do it?" Chopper had so
affirmed and Rex had taken him at his word. As Rex had always had. That trust
had been one reason Chopper had survived. "Take a minute to talk to Suu about
Jesse, first." So Chopper had asked Suu and she told him of Jesse jerking from
her touch, his calling her ma'am, the way he walked as if he had no right to be
where he was.
Jesse had come to prison after Order 37 was enacted. Chopper had known what
he'd done when he had seen Jesse's face watching Sketch and Saoha make love on
that rock.
Chopper had been watching them, as hard as the stone they were on. He wasn't
touching himself, though. He was taking pleasure from Sketch's delight. Sketch,
who thought himself incapable with a woman. Sketch, who thought no one would
want him with his twisted leg. Chopper's pleasure had been in seeing Saoha's
lust-filled eyes and smile while Sketch kissed her, hearing her moans of lust
as Sketch loved her. Chopper's pleasure had been in knowing his brother was no
longer broken.
Separately, Baffle and Leven had also walked along that path and seeing them,
had watched surreptitiously, pulling at themselves with their hands, bringing
little brother to attention, smiling at Saoha's generosity to their crippled
brother.
Jesse's reaction, when he'd seen the couple making love on that boulder, had
been more telling. He'd leaned against a tree and cried. Then he had beaten his
head against the tree, enough to leave a purple bruise on his forehead the next
morning. Most telling, he had hit himself in the genitals. Hard. Twice. Chopper
didn't know any man could do that. You had to hate yourself to do that.
Chopper sighed and looked sideways to Jesse.
"First, why'd you take off your helmet? This was interrogation, wasn't it? The
other guys kept theirs on, didn't they?"
"Yes. And yes." Jesse paused. "I wanted …"
"You wanted her to think of you as a person," supplied Chopper.
"Yes." Jesse nodded softly, a worried look on his face.
"You were the rapist-interrogator. Rape does not work when you're trying to
terrorize someone and then take off your bucket so they can see you're human
too. As soon as you did that, you lost control of the interrogation." Chopper
paused. "Did the others see you do that?"
"Yes." Jesse's reply was wooden, bereft of any emotion.
Chopper sighed heavily. "That's when you lost your squad."
Chopper scratched at his head, ruffled through the bristly scrub. He wasn't
used to hair yet. He had decided to grow it. Even Suu had run her fingers
through the dark and silver with a smile. Jesse had been touched by Elarlu-
Cihon, called Ela. Jesse shaved his head when he'd been a trooper, otherwise
the woman would have run her fingers through his hair.
"Second. You let her touch you."
"It felt good."
"For how long, Jesse? About two seconds?" Two second's worth of pleasure for
years of pain is usually not a good trade."
Jesse simply bowed his head. Chopper relented, just a bit.
"Was it?" he asked.
"Huh?" asked Jesse.
"Was it? A good trade? The pleasure for the pain?" Chopper asked softly, gentle
concern on his scarred face. "Because sometimes it is."
Jesse thought as he rubbed his face with the back of his hand. "I don't know,"
he finally voiced.
"Good enough, then. At least to make you think." Chopper nodded. "Next. You
didn't finish. I bet you lost your hardness as soon as she looked you in the
eyes and you knew something was going to happen. I bet you haven't been hard
since."
Jesse nodded glumly. "Not a lot of incentive for getting hard in prison."
Chopper snorted. "You wouldn't have gotten hard in a Zeltros bordello. Deny
that if you can."
Jesse simply shook his head and looked as though he were about to start crying.
"Then," Chopper was grim. "You went and fell for her."
"How the hell do you know that?" Jesse jerked upright.
"Because that's what screws you, Jesse. You fell in love with someone, raped
her, raped yourself in the process, let her get killed. Knowing that if you'd
acted differently, there would have been a different outcome." Chopper dropped
his voice to a whisper. "Knowing that you had the authority or capacity to get
her free; if only for a short time."
Jesse did start crying then. Chopper was holding his shoulders, then hugging
him as his cries turned into body-racking shudders.
"I don't think there's anything you can do, that'll clean that out of your
mind, Jesse." Chopper's voice was gentle as Jesse's body emptied of tears.
"I thought I'd go back and atone for what I'd done. Make it up somehow."
Jesse's voice was barely audible.
"Make it up to who, Jesse? Make it up how? Is that a planet they'll even take
you to?" asked Chopper, still holding Jesse in his arms. "You do have to be
alive for regrets and, right now, you're too messed up to even stay alive."
"Well, maybe that'd be best." Defiance filled Jesse's voice, but it was
defiance in search of death.
Chopper thought a moment, his hand rubbing Jesse's back as Jesse moved back to
his sitting position. "No. You've got too much to do. You've got a debt to
pay."
Jesse looked at him with shocked curiosity.
"Count it as a debt to pay," repeated Chopper with a nod. "A big debt, a life
debt that'll take you forever and keep you busy."
Jesse nodded slowly. Death sounded quiet, peaceful; but he'd been made for the
chaos of war.
"You go through the out process. You go through psyc as often as it takes. You
do it as long as you need to, to make sure you'll stay alive." Chopper's voice
was steel. "You let them know what you've done. You let them know you regret it
and you'll be paying back for that mistake."
Jesse's face became a rictus of terror and tortured pain. "How can I tell them,
Chopper? How can I explain...?"
"Ask for one of the Zeltrons. She'll feel your emotion; she'll know how much
you hate yourself for what you did. She'll forgive you."
"How can she?" wailed Jesse.
Chopper shrugged. "I have no idea, Jesse. Maybe for the same reason Ela reached
up and touched you softly instead of trying to take an eye. She broke one guy's
arm, got another in the balls after he'd raped her. Why did she touch you
instead of going for an eye?"
"I'm not..." began Jesse.
"You are such a selfish person, Jesse. Just thinking of yourself. Really, you
need to consider some other factors."
"Selfish," shouted Jesse. "I'm trying to..."
"I'm, I'm, I'm" mimicked Chopper. "Just stop a minute. Take a breath."
Jesse did.
"How many troopers are here?"
"Twenty-four."
"Count again, Jesse."
"Including Rex and others, thirty-one."
"Of those men, are there any who did not participate in Order 66?"
"You. Cut."
"Anyone else?"
"Not that I know of."
"OK, twenty-nine men have something to atone for. Who took the Jedi temple?"
"The 501st."
"And were Rex, Echo, Fives, Jester, Countdown, Pax, Kix, included in that
number?"
"Yes," Jesse was glum.
"Do you know what they did on the upper levels of the tower? Because that's
what Rex and his squad were assigned. Rex was with the general. Do you know
what Rex did? Why he decided to run?"
Jesse nodded. He knew. The entire 501st knew. Jesse had been at the temple as
well, but his squad had faced three Jedi and been cut in half, literally and
figuratively, before the last Jedi had died in a rain of blaster fire. Not
children. Not even the youngling padawans but warrior Jedi. They could have
taken a company if they'd been acting in concert. He had wanted to yell at them
to act as a team.
Chopper continued. "How about Order 37, anyone here you know of, who did not
participate in Order 37?"
"About half the guys here." Jesse mumbled.
"Right. Because the others had already deserted and were in prison by then.
That means about half the guys here probably also suppressed civilian
populations with torture, used rape as interrogation."
"Why don't they seem torn up about it?" Jesse asked.
"Some of them are. You just haven't noticed because you're moaning over your
own problem. If it makes you feel better, they probably haven't noticed that
you're torn up either."
Jesse was quiet, chewing on his lower lip. Then he shook his head. "I don't
know how to make amends, Chopper."
"Then ask. You can ask me, I've got some ideas I'll mention after you've seen
psych. Ask Rex, Echo, Fives… what they think needs to be done. Ask Ahsoka. Ask
whoever does your psyc. Ask Cody. Ask Suu. That should give you a list for the
next ten years. By then you'll be domesticated and you can ask civilians."
"Domesticated!" Jesse gave a laugh half-choked with a sob.
"Jesse," Chopper's voice was kind. "You've hurt yourself enough over this. It's
time you paid Ela back for reminding you who you are and what you believe."
Jesse nodded. He wondered for a moment, what he would have become, where he'd
be now, if he had finished that act of rape. If he had continued to push his
hardness between her thighs bruised by armor. If he had come. If he had put his
fist in her hair and pulled back her face for a demanding kiss to prove he was
stronger. If he had laughed at her tears, punched her across the mouth, bit
bloody circles on her breasts with his teeth, left bruises on her arm from his
grip, on her body from his fists. In the end, they had kicked her to death.
Jesse wondered who he'd be if he had done that, instead of running, when she
touched his face and gently said, "You have no right to that."
When he had come back and seen her broken body in the cell, he had carried her
to the morgue and gently washed her. He has washed the blood from her body, the
muddy boot prints off her skin. He had washed between her legs. He had
straightened that dark hair around her face, using his fingers to comb it,
gently pulling out tangles as if his roughness might hurt her. He had
straightened her body from its fetal, protective curl; he had straightened her
fingers from where they'd been broken. No one would be permitted to claim her.
Jesse wished someone could have, she needed to go home.
He didn't have the right to wear his bendu anymore, but he'd earn it back. Day
by day, he'd earn it under the watchful eye of the woman who haunted his life,
day by day until he died.
He bowed his head.
"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum Elarlu-Cihon."
===============================================================================
                              Decisions - Chopper
Chopper had hammocked himself in the branches of one of the trees, his feet
locked in the crotch of separating limbs, his shoulders and body supported by
branches. It was surprisingly comfortable and he'd been sleeping there since
the day after their arrival on Saleucami. It was almost ten meters above the
ground. Chopper scratched his head, feeling the still-unexpected softness of
hair. He had decided to grow his hair shortly before their escape; it was now
about a finger joint's length and just moving from bristly to soft. It was an
invitation to touch; both Numa and Shaeeah loved rubbing their fingers in his
hair. Aureki and Suu had each run their fingers through his hair; Aureki with a
shy pleasure and Suu with a gentle laugh. Saria had... Chopper closed his eyes
and remembered her touch with a wide grin. Chopper rejoiced in their touches.
Fine lines of silver marked one side of his hair, marking his old scars. It was
not unattractive.
He was not unattractive. He was scarred, but he was not ugly. Chopper knew he
might never find a woman of his own, but he was worthy of such a woman. He
nodded to himself. Rex had said to make plans but Chopper was too busy learning
who he was, too busy finding his strengths, too busy learning to like himself.
Chopper, he realized, was a good man, a moral man, a strong man, a kind man, a
brave man. He was smart, that came from Kamino, but he was also wise and that
came from experience. Some of his brothers came to talk with him, asking him
questions, asking his opinion. He was a man who could be trusted, a man who
could be loved; a good brother, a good friend. He grinned as his thoughts took
a lustful turn. One day he hoped he would be able to define himself as a good
lover.
Ahsoka stared up the tree at Chopper.  No less than any other trooper were his
shoulders broad and his arms strong. The clones had been engineered for muscle,
for strength, for endurance. She knew the scouts, Waxer and Boil, were leading
some men out on 35 click runs at least daily. Rex was in his element, sparring
for several hours each day, between the conversations with Cody and Echo, in
between debriefing men. They were all exhausted in the evening, the troopers
because they hadn't had good exercise in years and Rex, because he had to be
better than all the others. Combined. She smiled softly, sometimes wondering if
he'd always been so... Of course he had. She loved him for it.
Some man had already been cleared by their small committee, though Rex had not.
Debriefing and clearance was tedious although their committee was working
smoothing and quickly: Rex and Cody for military affairs, Kix and Saria for
physical health, Sula and Saoha for emotional psychology, Echo as, well, simply
because Echo was good at catching things, asking a trooper a question that had
him squirming, finding a previously unnoticed weakness. Chopper had been the
second to be cleared and occasionally sat on their little committee next to
Echo, sometimes whispering something into Echo's ear.
Col had been the first cleared and had spoken to her about going to Dantooine
before she even knew he'd been cleared. They were leaving tomorrow; she as the
pilot, Saoha as the owner/co-pilot. Their passengers: Col, Dub, Gekko, Leven
and Pax along with a contract to transport a cargo of medical equipment Fives
had found that was actually paying for the trip. There were other troopers
interested in Dantooine, but only these five tomorrow.
"Chopper, come on down." called Ahsoka. "I've barely seen you since I landed."
"I met Barin," he reminded, not moving from his perch. "He's a great kid. You
and Rex do good work. You come on up to my abode. There's a great view."
Ahsoka smothered a laugh. All the troopers seemed to take to Barin, to adore
her son and Cut's boy.  They all took turns holding Sula's baby or making sure
her needs were covered. Ahsoka sighed, all except Rex. He only touched Barin
and even then, only when Barin initiated the touch. The troopers played with
the other children, but those three showed them a possible future, what their
own children might look like. "Well, me and Echo do good work, too and I'd
really prefer..."
He was down before she finished her sentence.
"I'm sorry. I forgot."
She blushed and glanced down at her still-slender waist. "You know?"
Chopper grinned. "Echo told me during the escape. He wanted to get me moving.
Not that it's a secret; not the way your husbands walk." He shook his head.
"Not the way you're starting to walk." He eyed her closely. "If someone really
looks, there is a bit of a rounding." Unconsciously, he reached to touch her
belly then pulled his hand back as he noticed what he was doing.
She smiled at him, he seemed centered, grounded. "I wanted to talk to you to
find out what has happened to you since that I left." He frowned at the memory
of her departure from the 501st, at his insubordination of Order 66 and the
years in prison.
"The committee cleared you, but I wanted to make sure you were all right."
"You always were possessive of your company." He smiled as he pointed to a
large, sun-warmed boulder. "Let's go sit over there," He gave her his arm.
Lightly, she put her hand on his, but he didn't flinch. He smiled at her
expectation. "I don't do that anymore."
"I noticed that in the ship, but thought it might be just an immediate reaction
to escape. Saoha told me the emotions were overwhelming." She sat cross-legged,
on the boulder, Chopper beside her, stretching out his legs as he leaned back
on his elbows.
He shrugged. "That was what locked it in; freedom, seeing you, Rex. But it's
there now and it's not going anywhere, anymore. Whatever it is." He paused.
"Maybe I'll ask Saoha or Sula what emotion it is, because I certainly don't
know."
"They tortured you while you were in prison," she moved her hand to touch new
scars on his face and he bent so she didn't have to reach as far. He closed his
eyes and smiled, enjoying her soft touch on his face, her fingers in his hair.
She trembled. This was a new Chopper; not angry or defensive or emotionally
scared. But strong, weathered, settled. She withdrew her fingers. He opened his
eyes and shrugged.
"First battle is always the hardest. I guess it's the same with torture. After
they told me that you and Rex and most of Torrent were dead, they didn't have
anything else that bothered me." He shrugged. "After what Slick had done, these
guys weren't very imaginative, simply" he paused searching for word to describe
what they had done, "physical. The nightmares packed up and left. I pretty much
lived through everything that scared me." He thought a moment. "I'm not what I
could have been but ..." He was still and left the remainder unsaid.
"Broken men," she said softly. After a moment's thought, he nodded.
"Yeah, that's what we are. Broken." He turned to her slightly, drew his fingers
over his chin. "Broken, but fixable." He grinned.
"You're an optimist!" she accused with a smile and he laughed. Something she
thought she would never see. Chopper laughing.
"Guilty," he said, between his laugher. Then he grew serious. "What else could
I be?"
Choppers let the soft warmth of Saleucami soak into him. "Look at my life. I am
a clone, just one of two million identical men coming out of Kamino and they
did aim for one, identifiable personality. Now I'm ... unique, myself. I've
survived injuries that have killed other men. I survived a traitor's
manipulation to become one of your and Rex's best troopers, one of the most
trusted men in Torrent. I recognized Order 66 was wrong and did not participate
in it. I've survived prison and torture since then. Now I'm free." He smiled,
matching hers. "I have no right to be anything other than an optimist."
She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back. They sat together for a while,
silently basking in the mild sunlight of Saleucami, their faces turned toward
the warmth.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
He shrugged.  "I don't know yet. That's what I think about up in that tree.
Sketch and I get along and he'll need help for a while, so I might go with him,
where ever he goes." Chopper glanced into her eyes, a grin tugging at the
corner of his mouth. "Especially if he goes off with Fives and family. Sula
gave me a wonderfully long kiss the other day and it wasn't 'thank you for
carrying the baby'."
Ahsoka chuckled. "Yes, I can see the attraction of that option."
"I might stay here on Saleucami for a while, if too many other brothers don't
stay. It's a good place to think about possible futures. The work is physically
hard which frees up my mind and there's Cut's family as well as Jester and
Saria for company."
Ahsoka nodded. "Good friends, good work. Both Echo and Rex say they learned a
lot here. Not just about farming, either."
He watched her, wanting to see her reaction to his next option.
"Echo invited me to Shili for a visit." He saw her smile and her eyes crinkled
in delight. He knew she approved, and would enjoy his visit.
"The trees are taller on Shili than here," she offered as incentive.
===============================================================================
                               Decisions - Quad
     "I'm almost fourteen, Quad. In a couple of days. And you're sixteen."
Quad thought on those words often. He and his brothers had generally taken to
doubling their ages to what their faces showed. It simply made it easier to
deal with anyone outside of the GAR, though why ages were important was still
beyond him. Funny how it was one of those things that always came up in
conversation. But Shaeeah had lived with her father for almost a decade. She
understood aging as no one except another brother did.
He was sixteen standard years. If he looked in his thirties … well, that was
only appearance; so ephemeral that anything could change it; a scar, the
stubble of not shaving, age. He'd seen happiness make some of his brothers look
younger. He'd seen pain and worry age them beyond their years. Appearance was
unimportant.
   "And you haven't had the chance to live in most of those sixteen years."
Quad thought on those words also. She was right. The first ten years of his
life had been spent in training on Kamino. The next three had been as a
trooper, then as a sergeant in the GAR. He'd been proud to serve and there'd
been good times with his men and his brothers, but the time hadn't been his.
He'd belonged to them, not to himself. There had been two years of increasingly
distasteful duties. The last three years had been a living hell which he'd
chosen as better than the nightmare of serving as an Imperial storm trooper.
They said he still belonged to them, but he didn't believe that any more. He
hadn't believed it for a while before deserting and certainly not after he'd
been imprisoned.
Cody had defined and refined that for everyone. They were men; sentient,
living, soulful men. Still, he hadn't had the chance to belong to himself; to
do what he wished, to even have time to find out what it was he wished for.
Cody had said that was why they were on Saleucami; to learn what they wanted
and to plan for it. Rex, Cut, Echo, Fives, Jester; the ones who'd had lives,
they all said it. You decide what you want and you plan toward it.
Shaeeah found him sitting on a large, sun-warmed boulder. He was alone and he
seemed lonely in the late afternoon. She climbed up the boulder to sit next to
him and he smiled and gestured to the tiny sliver on the horizon. They didn't
speak for a while, simply watched the second moon of Saleucami rise over the
horizon.
He sighed deeply and looked at her with a gentle smile, as though trying to
memorize her. Her fingers crept closer to his hand. He shifted, stretched his
shoulders a bit and reset his hand slightly closer to hers.
"If you're cold," he offered quietly. "I could hold you." He chastised himself
for stupidity. The night was warm.
"I'd like that." She answered and moved closer to him, into his arms.
He pointed out one of the few brighter stars in the Saleucami sky. "What's that
star called?" he asked. As he brought his hand down, his palm gently rested on
her leg, slightly above her knee.
"Jerangur." She raised one hand to point out several other stars. "See how they
make the back of an akul? That's the story of Riuren's Rage." Her hand came
down to gently rest on his hand and her fingers curled into his palm. His
fingers curled around hers, his thumb caressing her knuckles.
"I've never heard of it." He turned his face to her. She had taught him to kiss
four days ago.
"I'll tell it to you." Her face turned to find his breath warming her cheeks,
his gentle eyes watching her. Her breathing paused then came more quickly. He
leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. She accepted it, let her mouth
relax, silently wishing for more, silently urging him on.
He caught those silent thoughts through the tension of her body and kissed her
more deeply. He softly slipped his tongue between her lips, touched her own
tongue. He brought his free hand to her face, softly stroked her lekku which
caused her to gasp. He jerked back quickly.
"Did I hurt you?" His voice was concerned.
"No. It never felt like that. Like.." she couldn't think of how that touch of
his hand had felt. Something beyond what she'd ever felt. "It felt good."
"Shall I do it again." He asked, a small smile lighting his face at his
discovery.
"Please." She begged with a smile.
He did, stroking her lekku. Gently at first with his hand, then with kisses.
She told him there were called tchin and tchun and they had a life of their
own. He had noticed they moved in soft caressing waves against his body when
she was like this. He had seen them curl in annoyance at her brother's antics.
He had seen them twine about themselves protectively when she played chase.
They were most sensitive behind her ears and she sighed with pleasure curled in
his arms as he nuzzled, kissed and nibbled.
Quad took the tip of tchin and softly sucked it. She whimpered and then had to
assure him that was, most definitely, pleasurable. He did the same to tchun and
then softly set his teeth upon her lekku. A wild rush of emotion swept thru her
and she called out his name as she held him tightly, shivering with something
other than the coolness of the night. He was delighted to give her such
pleasure.
Shaeeah didn't know anything could feel so good. She looked at Quad with glazed
eyes. She didn't know where to go from there. He had no lekku to reciprocate.
She kissed him, on his lips and his face and his head. She licked him, sucked
softly at his ears, nuzzled her nose against him, all of which caused him to
groan low in his throat.
"Yes," he whispered. "Yes, Shaeeah. Yes." She ran her teeth along his neck,
softly as he had done tchun, and he whimpered. She didn't need to reach down to
know he was hard. The tension of his body was enough notice.
She wanted to touch him, to feel his skin, so she ran her fingers under his
shirt. She knew he had a beautiful chest; pale skin slowly turning tan, small
dark nipples, a sprinkling of hair in the valley of his pectorals and the wavy
hills of his abdominals, the sharp ridges of his hips. She saw them often
during the games of chase. He was more beautiful than his brothers. Shaeeah
found his nipples with her fingers. Experimentally, she rubbed them as she had
often rubbed her own, softly pinched them. He quivered. She straddled him for
more leverage to experiment and suddenly forgot his nipples as his hardness
pressed between her legs. She froze.
He froze also and then leaned forward and gently kissed her. He picked her up
and moved her off of him with trembling hands. He knew, she knew, it wasn't the
right time. Not if they had both frozen like that. She almost cried in
frustration and set her forehead against his chest, shaking. His hand came to
her back to offer comfort. By chance, he caressed her lekku as well. She
remembered the feel of his lips on tchun and tchin. She put her hand on his
hardness, outside of the material of his clothing.
"Quad," she asked. "May I?"
"Anything." He said with a smile, his face close to hers.
She smiled at him, gave him a soft kiss which deepened and re-ignited the lost
moment she had straddled him.
She pushed him gently in the chest and he lay back, his fingers stroking her
lekku. Her fingers reached into his pants. She loved the look of him by now.
That part of him was like some small animal, begging for her attention. Her
hands played with him, coaxing him further out of his pants.
He sucked tchun and tchin together, his teeth lightly scratching their surface.
She moaned, her eyes closed. She felt her body stretch, relax, prepare. Prepare
for what, skittered across her mind. Shaeeah bent down, cradled him in her
hands and put her mouth on Quad.
"Shaeeah,…" he gasped in shock, but little brother blossomed in her hands;
growing, thickening, small drops of liquid coming from its opening. Shaeeah
licked harder, played her tongue against his opening as though it were a set of
small puckered lips, tasting the saltiness of him. She gave small sucks as he
had done her lekku.
"No teeth," he gasped, realizing she was adapting what he had done to her lekku
for his pleasure. She nodded, absently, her hands cradling, holding, stroking.
"Shaeeah, that's so good." His voice moaned his pleasure. She felt his fingers
trembling on her lekku, trembling as they stroked her skin. His hands grasp her
lekku, trying to hold steady against his trembling.
His hips moved. "Please, Shaeeah," his begging gave way to an inarticulate cry.
Shaeeah could feel the rushing in her hand gripping him at his root. Her hand
held him while her mouth warmed him.
His hand came down, touched her face and slowly drew her up to his face. He
nuzzled her, softly licking her face, kissing her gently, his tongue sliding
between her lips to play with her mouth.
He tucked little brother back into his pants when he caught his breath. He held
her close to his body. He put his arms around her and pulled her deep into his
chest. "Tell me about Riuren's Rage."
It would have been much easier if he hadn't been kissing her lekku, setting his
teeth softly to tchin, softly sucking tchun.
 Quad made up his mind. He knew what he wanted. Now there was only a future to
                                  be planned
***** Separations *****
                                  Separations
They had all cleared their event debriefs; Cody and Rex listening to their
stories, their horrors. They found more evidence of how the Kaminoans treated
the fallen, even how most Jedi tended to treat them as 'replaceable'. They
listen and asked if someone had seen them for individuals and were rewarded
with stories of love, friendship, a glance, a nod. They heard how the horrors
they had inflicted on other people were perceived as worse than the horrors
inflicted on themselves.
Some few brothers mentioned future plans. Kix, with a delighted grin, told them
he would be staying with Saria and Jester, learning from her and expanding on
his combat medic background. Riposte had informed them of his desire to find
his 'family'. They'd been refugees and he would have to track them down to
their new home and there was no guessing where that might be. He had shyly
smiled and told them Kix planned on giving him half his share of money when he
left.
All the men, except Dare, Kaver, and Kayl had cleared medical. Kaver and Kayl
expected to be cleared within two weeks as their minor fractures healed. In two
weeks, Saria would remove Dare's wires and replace them with flexbands. For
Dare that couldn't happen soon enough. He'd already lost weight, felt ignored
because he couldn't speak, and often simply sat next to one of the Zeltron
women to keep from feeling depressed. Just being able to take tiny bites or
whisper his thoughts seemed like paradise to him.
Riposte was cleared and joked that he had his own natural camouflage – the
healing bruises in mottled shadow and sunlight were a near perfect pattern for
Saleucami's forest. Sketch had been given a provisional medical and was working
with Saria, both in physical therapy for his ankle as well as future planning
for the knee.
The psychological debrief was the wall for many of the men. "What did you
expect?" had said Cody and Rex each time someone complained. Then they
listened, truly listened to the complaints. That seemed to be sufficient for
most of the men.
Shy hadn't tried yet. No one was hopeful about Shy except Shy. Anything new,
from boiled eggs to a different game in the afternoon, confused him, froze him,
and made him react like a trooper even to the point, once, of attacking Backup.
Riven hadn't been hopeful but he had tried. Afterwards, Sula asked him to see
her simply to talk. He hadn't wanted to talk to anyone, but Sula gently pointed
out that he probably wouldn't pass his psyc unless he did. He nodded, frowning.
'A civilian, a woman like you, shouldn't hear it.' She had replied. 'A human, a
man like yourself, shouldn't have gone through what you did'.
Edge decided he wouldn't even bother clearing. "I like Saleucami." He had said
to Saria with one of his very rare grins, "even if you won't marry me."
Djinn hadn't cleared but he hadn't tried. Like a few other men, he was still
working on possibilities. There was a big galaxy out there and his choices
seemed overwhelming without some kind of direction.
Jesse hadn't cleared, though he had tried. He had expected that, nodded and
asked 'What do I need to do?'. 'Forgive yourself', had been the gentle answer
from Saoha. Jesse couldn't do that. But he'd come back every few days to talk
with Saria or Sula. He had time. Nights he dreamed of a dark-haired woman with
blue eyes. Sometimes Elarlu was angry, but mostly she wept. Jesse knew he'd be
able to clear his psyc when he discovered why she was crying.
Backup didn't pass and Checkout had; widening the gulf between the two former
friends and partners.
Cut glanced at Suu, a wide smile on his face, as he drove into Issuya in the
old speeder, easily maneuvering towards Saria's apartment and into the near-
empty adjacent storage building.
Issuya was small, perhaps a township of a thousand people, though during
planting and harvesting season, there could be upwards of five times that.
Saria's apartment of golden yellow stone was shadowed by the vines of the patio
and only a block away from the three story medical unit housing her office.
That was one of the few multi-story buildings in Issuya besides the transport
terminal and citadel of government offices and services.
Cut opened the door to the apartment and gave a quick, searching glance around.
He smiled and held the door open for Suu.
"I don't think we should tell Saria that her plants thrive better when she's
not around." Cut smiled pointing at several plants in multi-colored planers and
Suu laughed.
"I think she knows."
He hadn't even closed the door before hugging her close to him.
Cut loved Suu. He spent two days loving her, courting her, pampering her. He
spent two days, talking with her, being with her, dancing with her, simply
watching her as she read or bathed or tended Saria's plants. He spent two days
touching her, hugging her, holding her, tasting her. He also spent two days
following her around and carrying the packages that were clothes and supplies
for the departing men. They returned to the farm in the early morning of the
day Ahsoka and Saoha were to take five men to Dantooine.
Checkout had met them as the speeder pulled in next to the house. "Please Suu.
Please, I'm begging you." He fell to his knees. "I will never pull a joke on
anyone again if you'll just help me with breakfast. There's no bread, twelve
fresh eggs and only Jek's help. When I ask for instructions Shy shrugs, Numa
has vanished with the scouts, and Shaeeah simply looks at me." He looked at the
ground. "And Backup isn't helping at all. I'll do if you'll just … direct.
Please."
Cut looked at Checkout with a hard face, then at Suu who smiled back at him. "I
suppose," she said. "I could direct."
"Thank you, thank you." Checkout pushed himself off the ground. "I've got a
decently steady fire going and Crux is watching that. Jek has gotten the juice
together and has suggested savory rice and he's started cooking the rice. But
he doesn't know the recipe."
"You don't lift a finger, Suu." Cut warned both Suu and Checkout mildly. She
kissed him on the cheek and he smiled as he turned toward the speeder to load
up with packages. "I'll let Col and the others know we've got some items for
them."
"Checkout, go tell Jek to turn the heat off the rice, he always burns it." Suu
told him and he ran to the back yard, going around the house. She turned to
Cut. "Please bring everything to the back. I really want to see their faces as
they pick out what they want."
She went through the house where Sketch was gently massaging his leg. He stood
on his crutches and gave her a big hug. "Good to see you, Suu." He grinned. "Is
breakfast going to be palatable today?"
"Possibly. I'm only a consultant."
"Good enough for me. I've been cooking my own and Shaeeah's been very helpful
in teaching me." Sketch glanced to the kitchen. "But something's always
lacking." They moved to the back door.  Crux had a steady fire going. Checkout
was removing a large container, presumable the rice, from the edge of the steel
plate and several men were loitering, their plates in their hands. They cheered
her, the few men in the yard, they actually cheered and Suu blushed, her pink
cheeks turning dark red.
Breakfast was decent, better than it had been for the last two days. The rice,
a little burnt on one side and a bit crunchy on the other, served as the base
for a custardy casserole sprinkled with cut bits of leftover steak and onions.
The five travelers, lead by Col, rummaged through the pile of things Suu had
purchased, many from the second-hand store. The work boots were new and brought
the biggest appreciation and grateful hugs from the men. Suu had remembered
duffles and packs for the men, and they packed their new belongings carefully.
Shaeeah, and Numa had brought out the little books to hand out to the men. Suu
knew they had spent most of the last few days making the books; sewing the
thick art paper together. Jester had drawn a portrait of each man and a picture
of the farmhouse on the covers. Suu had copied a recipe – different for each
man – on one of the pages. Col and Dub had tears in their eyes at the gift.
Gekko and Leven were joyous, they'd never even received gifts before. Pax gave
a smile, his first since Saria had returned to Jester, and thanked them with a
hug.
Rex and Cody took the five men for a departure briefing. She knew they were
being briefed on much of what Rex and Cody had learned from all the men. When
they returned, their faces were hard and stern. But only for a short time, only
until Barin or Keeli grabbed them for a hug and, in Keeli's case, a baby-wet
kiss.
It was over too soon. Suu watched as the five passengers made their good-bys
with the other men, with everyone. She gave them hugs and soft kisses on the
cheeks, reminding them this was home if they ever decided, ever needed, to come
back; knowing she would probably never see them again.
===============================================================================
                                   Dantooine
It was an uneventful flight. As the ship got closer to Dantooine, Col became
more nervous, mingled hope and terror and a deep aching need deep
inside him that left his hands shaking. He'd snapped at Ahsoka then swiftly
apologized. He hadn't apologized to Dub, giving him a black eye instead. Dub
apologized.
Col had directed them to land at the only spaceport on the planet; they were
immigrants, he explained. "Legal immigrants."
Their immigration fee had been fairly steep, 250 credits per man but Col hadn't
had to pay. He'd hesitantly given his name as Col of Clan Gwydr and the records
declared him was a clan member. Col had almost dropped to his knees in happy
shock to discover that someone, maybe his Ehveen, considered him family. Saoha
had put her hand to his shoulder. Stuttering, he asked which grounds his clan
was occupying this year.
"High Keep," replied the immigration officer, pointing out the eastern edge of
a mountain range on the wall display. "Eager to get home?" He flashed a smile
at Col.
"More than you know. I should have a child by now." Col smiled.
The officer slapped him on the shoulders. "Congratulations." He laughed. "Next
time, don't spend so much time away."
"I hope I never have to leave again." Col replied with heartfelt honesty.
The officer waved him through and turned to the other men. "Brothers, eh?" he
questioned with a knowing grin.
They were nervous, their fingers tight on the straps of their packs. They were
clones created to fulfil a contract. They were deserters from the military,
escapees from prison, and this was their first bureaucratic encounter since
that escape. They' weren't sure if they'd be allowed on planet or not; weren't
sure they wouldn't be hauled away and returned to the Imperials. They'd made a
brother's pact to make sure none of them survived that happening.
Dub was first in line.
"Identification." Requested the officer holding his hand out and viewing his
blackened eyes with suspicion. Dub licked his lips.
"None, sir." He answered softly. The officer pulled out a hand scanner.
"Palm down please. Keep it down until I say." Dub did as directed.
"Name?" questioned the officer.
"Dub Tano Lawquane." He'd asked Cut and Suu if he could take their name. He'd
asked Ahsoka and Aureki and Rex and Echo. He'd even asked Shaeeah and Jek and
Barin. Barin had been the hardest to convince, but had finally agreed for a
ride on Dub's shoulders. Dub was proud of his new name.
"Are you wanted by any planet in the Outer Rim? Or any planet signatory to the
Treaty of Neutral Space?"
Dub frowned. He wasn't exactly wanted by a planet; more like an entire sector.
Certainly, nothing in the Outer Rim. "No, sir. Not that I'm aware of."
"Good enough." Slowly Dub pulled his hand away from the scanner. The customs
official was a lot faster and had pulled up a screen on his datapad,
electronically forwarded it to the scanner, checked it and had it back in front
of Dub before his hand was away from the counter. "Fingerprint here, secondary
thumb print here." the officer pointed to two squares on the scanner. "We will
be running your identification through local," he glanced up and gave Dub and
the other men a small, knowing smile, "and only local systems. Your print will
also be used when you register for your final immigration status. If you cause
trouble, any local law official or clan leader can have your prints reported.
Cause enough trouble and we'll deport you. Any questions?"
Dub nodded as he listened. "What kind of things can get me into trouble?"
"The usual type of stuff," and Dub nearly panicked, not knowing what the
'usual' was, but the officer continued speaking. "Fighting," he glared at Dub's
eye and Dub swallowed nervously. "Theft, wanton destruction of property, arson,
drunk and disorderly, assault, rape, murder."
"No, sir." Dub's voice was sure and the officer glanced up at the harder tone.
"You won't have any of those problems with me or my brothers, sir."
"Good, good." The immigration officer eyed Dub thoughtfully.
"You'll be required to donate 150 hours of your first year to community work,
signed off either by your employer or clan leader. At the end of your second
year, you'll go to your regional office and register for final planetary
citizenship." He heard a sharp intake of breath from one of the men. "But only
if you have a clan sponsor of chirgyo rank or higher. At the end of your third
year if you haven't registered we come out, get you, hand you back about 100 to
150 of your credits and kick you off-planet on the next available ship." He
looked at Dub then at the rest of the men with identical facial features. He
suddenly lost his easy grin. "I don't think you want that."
"No, sir," whispered Leven, next in line after Dub.
As they were processed, the officer handed each brother a blue disk. "Keep
these on you at all times. A neck duraflex is best." He looked the men over,
carefully. They looked like a tough, rugged, mean gang of men; men capable of
almost anything. But their attitude was respectful, their words soft and they
treated the ship's crew with deference. That, the officer had decided, was
amazing.
He shook his head, then turned to Ahsoka and Saoha with a soft grin. "You will
have two days to confirm delivery; our customs people are pretty quick,
especially for medicals like your manifest declares. After that, you have three
days before you are required to show paperwork of immigration, departure
itinerary, or continuing business before we request you depart." He glanced at
them with a smile. "Departure itinerary can be for up to 25 days away,
continuing business merely requires a clan leader contact us. Neither is
difficult. Planetary docking fees for the ship begin to rise on the fifth day
so be careful." He handed the data pad for their palm and Saoha signed for
entry and manifest. "Will you be needing cargo haulers?"
"No," said Saoha. "The cargo is not heavy. We will manage." She smiled at the
man who blushed, but smiled back.
"How do we register for low-level flying?" asked Ahsoka. "We'd like to
transport our passengers directly to their destination after off-loading the
cargo."
"Already done," said the officer, stamping and entering data onto his pad. He
handed Saoha, as registered owner, a red chip. "Flight pattern to High Keep is
on here for you. Pre-programmed for auto-pilot if you wish, and auto-pilot is
suggested around mountainous areas like High Keep; most pilots are unused to
the air turbulence patterns around mountains. We don't send anyone to rescue
you unless the auto-pilot was flying or your insurance is pre-paid. If you
don't off-load within two days, come get another one – weather patterns change
rapidly during seasonal shift and we're coming into autumn."
"Thank you, you've been wonderfully helpful," Saoha beamed at him. "Is there
anything else we should know?"
"Other than where to find me?" he laughed, "Not much else."
"That's good flirting," whispered one of the brothers to another.
Customs was there later that day and the cargo was off-loaded within hours of
their arrival to Dantooine.
They landed at High Keep, Ahsoka and Col venturing out to find the clan leader
or someone else with authority to welcome the guests. He didn't want to
overwhelm Ehveen's people with too many clone brothers and not enough
explanation without local authority around. Col looked around noticing the odor
of bantha in the air. He laughed as Ahsoka's nose twitched.
"Takes a moment's getting used to, but this is the gathering corral and a
little more pungent than anywhere else. Mostly, the bantha and nerf roam the
pastureland." His eyes were scanning the gathering people, none from Ehveen's
family though he recognized a few and absently smiled. They smiled back, but
were waiting also.
"Heyo Col," it was a loud male voice and Ahsoka noticed the expression on Col's
face where hope and fear warred. It was a tall man, older but full of
authority. Unexpectedly clean-cut and slender for a man who dealt with the
shaggy bantha and nerf, a model against the sterotypical image of a nerf
herder. His eyes were blue and his hair, where it wasn't grey, was dark brown.
Col turned, Ahsoka with him. The man's eyes narrowed at the sight of her, but
still he greeted Col with a hug. Col seemed not to be able to let go, his
finger gripping the man's tunic.
"Adwr, Adwr. I have missed you, have missed clan, have missed Ehveen." Col
suddenly was sobbing into the other man's shoulder. The other man patted Col on
the back, hugging him as he realized the intensity of Col's emotion. Ahsoka
also put her hand to his back with a smile at the man.
"Heyo, Col, heyo." He said softly as he rubbed Col's back, hugging him deeply,
maintaining the hug as he realized Col was close to breaking even though his
tears were of happiness. "Col Wanderer. Will you have adventures for the fire?"
He glanced toward Ahsoka, looked her up and down. "Do you bring a wife?"
That cut into Col's near-hyseria. Col choked, laughed nervously and pulled away
from the older man, his hands still clasping Adwr's elbow, his face red. "No,
Adwr, this is the pilot. Ahsoka Tano who is also my brothers' wife. Ahsoka,
this is Adwr, the Hand of Law. And Ehveen's father." Ahsoka smiled and held her
hands palm up, in universal peace. Adwr reached out his hand for hers and she
clasped it in her own.
"I have come back, Adwr." Col licked his lips. "I never want to leave Dantooine
again. No adventures, but I do bring some brothers who would be interested in
working hard and in joining the clan. None are married."
"Brothers? I thought you were…" Adwr's brows furrowed and then cleared. He
glanced at the ship, taking in its size. "Ahh, brothers. That, of course, is up
for discussion and the immigration laws, but I'll tell you, Col. We've had some
good years. We've had to hire herders to assist with the herds. I think some
new clan members would be welcome. How many?"
"Four." Col replied. "Maybe more later."
"Bring them," called Adwr, as he saw someone gesturing for him and moved in
that direction. "Bring them."
Col trotted after Adwr, leaving Ahsoka to call the others out of the ship. Dub
and Gekko ran to catch up with Col, while Pax and Leven stayed near Ahsoka and
Saoha as they all sat on the gangway of the ship or stood beside it, subject to
the curious glances and shy smiles around them. A few people came up to speak
with them, curious about the ship and the strangers.
Adwr found the problem quick enough. There was some trouble at the milking
corral. One of the big cows didn't want to go into her chute.
"Col, you take flank. Grab one of the childrens' prods. You remember her
points?" Adwr shouted. "I'll take her head."
"Of course, you taught me too well." Col laughed then his voice caught. "I
spent years dreaming of bantha, Adwr." Col had grabbed one of the sturdy sticks
from one of the younger girls with a smile. The bantha were usually gentle
creatures, but a bad experience could turn the animal stubborn. Not vicious,
merely stubborn enough to required more pushing. He'd been injured when he'd
been here before, but even then he'd been stronger than the children
responsible for herding the big animals to the chutes. "This requires a little
muscle," he told her with a smile then turned back to his brothers. "Dub,
Gekko, stay out of the way. Behind the children, they know the animal."
He laughed, happy to once more be doing hard work; work with value,
constructive work rather than the wanton destruction of war. By the time they
got the stubborn cow into her chute, Col was feeling at home, wondering why
he'd ever returned to the army.
Adwr must have noticed something in his expression or in his voice as they both
leaned against the milking chute, a sheen of sweat on their faces. "Heyo, Col,"
he said softly, patting the now-placid cow. "Welcome home."
Dub was looking at the animal, while Gekko was asking questions of the
youngling boy starting to milk her.
"Home," whispered Col with a smile. "Where Ehveen?" he asked. "Where's my
child?"
"Ehveen is working on the threads; as for your son," Adwr gazed over the fields
where the children were herding bantha with the prod sticks.
Col's breath caught in his throat and he barely felt Dub's hand on his
shoulder. His son.
"Colehn!" Adwr's voice bellowed. A dark-haired boy glanced toward the little
circle of men and came running. He was lean, his feet quick and in only a few
moments Col's son stood before him; shaggy-haired, brown-eyed, gazing
fearlessly at the men with curiosity. Col quivered, wanting to grab the child
in a hug. He held himself back; he was a stranger to his own son.
"Colehn, this is your father, Col Wanderer. Col, your son, Colehn."
"I am Ehveen's son." The boy stated, he didn't look at Col angrily, merely as
though he expected his objection to be noted. Col nodded.
"You are Ehveen's son. If I'd been here, you'd have been my son as well. I was
not here and nothing can make up for that." Col sighed. "I am sorry. More sorry
than I can express."
The boy's face twisted in thought until Col gave a soft laugh. "I can see
you're thinking very deep thoughts. I plan to stay, so you don't have to hurry
them. When you know what to say, I will be here."
Colehn's face cleared a bit. He nodded. "I'll come talk with you." Colehn
looked at Dub, standing behind Col. "Are you twins?" Dub laughed and Col
chuckled,
Gekko stuck his face out from the other side of the bantha to smile at the boy
with a wide grin. "Not even triplets."
"No, there are more of my brothers. If you want to see them, go to the ship,"
Col pointed out the flyer half-hid by calving huts. Softly, he touched his son
on the shoulder. "Tell them you are Col's son and they will probably show you
the inside."
Colehn smiled then ran, as though there were no other way to approach life. Col
watched him.
Adwr smiled. Col Wanderer had, indeed, come home.
Col gave a deep sigh. "I've traveled a long way, Adwr and I know, now, that
family is wealth." He turned to the older man. "Where are the threading houses?
I'd like to see Ehveen."
"They are upwind of the calving huts, upwind of camp." Adwr smiled, "Two years
ago the women decided they prefer to be upwind of everything."
Col laughed. "Ahsoka, I'm sure, would agree with them." Col turned to go, but
Adwr caught his arm.
"Ehveen is pregnant. She is married to a man of Dsayn clan just now. I remember
that you are a stranger in so many ways, Col, and I do not know how you will
react."
Adwr caught the sadness in Col's voice, saw the steadying hand of his brother
on his shoulder.
"Not badly, Adwr. I love her too much and I've been gone for a long time. As
sad as I am for myself, I'm glad that she continued her life."
Adwr nodded. Col Wanderer had returned to Dantooine an older, wiser man.
Col moved up to the thread houses, Gekko remained at the milking chutes, he'd
asked the youngling to teach him to milk the bantha. Dub and Adwr walked with
Col part way, turning toward the ship where Adwr was prepared to welcome their
guests, to meet Col's brothers.
He would push for Col's brothers to be welcomed as clan members. Col had been a
hard worker the time he was here even as bone-broken as he'd been. Family was
always preferred over the itinerant herders who were not always trustworthy.
Dub's attitude to Col spoke of strong bonds. Gekko, also, had been respectful
of his brother and, already, had asked to learn, already was working. The
muscles of all the men spoke of activity, strength and endurance. Adwr smiled
as he remember Col telling him he'd never met a woman before Ehveen. Even with
the addition of four men, there'd still be slightly more women in the camp and
Col had said his brothers were unmarried. The women would be happier, they'd
complained about a scarcity of marriageable men in the clan and some had said
they'd be looking at other clans at the Culling Fair. Adwr chuckled as he
glanced at the man beside him. They wouldn't be looking now, except at the new
men working for their own clan.
"Col mentioned his brothers are unmarried, that there are four of you with him
now and perhaps others later. How many others, may I ask?"
Dub blushed. "No more than four or five at the very most. They'd also be
unmarried." Dub chewed his lip for a second. "I think we'd all like to get
married and have family." He looked at the older man. "I know I would. I don't
know if Col told you, but we don't have long lives." He saw Adwr nod.
"He told me that you were made-men. That you had," his lips twisted in disgust
at the thought, "an expiration. I cannot speak for everyone, but I consider Col
family. I consider his brothers the same." Adwr nodded to himself. He had just
accepted them into the clan as family. It was right to do so.
Dub faltered in his walk, then stopped. "Thank you," he said, his voice soft
and husky, then he continued walking and Adwr knew he could say no more.
Col watched the women as they carded and spun the wooly undercoat of the bantha
into thread. It was a warm day and the women were, for the most part, outside
the house with their equipment. A windbreak of canvas had been set up and also
provided shade. Col merely watched them for a moment, the everyday activities
of the clan. He brushed away a tear. He could see Ehveen. She was pregnant, as
round as Sula had been when they had all escaped from prison. Any day now. What
Col would have done to be with her, as he had seen Fives go in with Sula. He
shook his head softly. He had no right. He had left her.
She was laughing, playing the drum to keep the rhythm of the spinners up, her
eyes sparkling. She must have felt his eyes on her, because she turned and saw
him. Clumsily, she tried to rise from her seat but her balance was off. Col
moved quickly and was there before she tried again. He held his hand out to her
for support.
"Col," Her voice, her eyes, were delighted to see him and his heart warmed at
her pleasure. She didn't hate him for leaving her, she didn't hate him for
being gone so long. Col had been afraid she might.
"I'm back, Ehveen. I won't go away again." He gave her his promise.
"And you return when I am as large and graceful as a bantha on the ice," she
laughed, her hands touching his face. It seemed too intimate a touch for a
married woman to an unmarried man and he took her hands in his.
"I saw the woman from the ship. Are you married to her?" She asked, an odd note
in her voice.
"No, Ehveen, she is the wife of my brother. But Adwr told me you were married."
Col sighed. "That's all right, Ehveen. Just being around you and my son is
enough." Col smiled at her. It was. He looked outward where some bantha cows
were being guided into the milking corral by several children, his own son
among them. "I will work for the clan; perhaps the clan father will find my
brothers worthy as well." He smiled, "Perhaps your sisters will find them
handsome? For me," he bent his head to her hands, touching her fingertips with
his lips. "I am yours and will remain so until death claims me."
She laughed softly, releasing her hands from his grasp to put them around his
face then around his neck. She wished she was slender enough to hug him. He
seemed so much older, so much sadder. She longed to bring smiles to his face
and laughter to his voice.
"Col, you only need wait a short time. My marriage is a year marriage. Things
have gone well this last decade and the clan wanted more children. Since your
departure, I have entered into two year-marriages and given the clan one
child." She blushed. "You showed me that I enjoyed pregnancy. This will be my
second year-marriage child."
Col froze, his heart caught between now and forever. "Ehveen, I don't recall we
ever discussed year-marriages but I'm hopeful when I hear the word 'year'.
She nodded. "At the Culling Fair I will no longer be married." She blushed.
"Unless you…"
He grabbed her in his arms and she squealed in surprise then giggled like the
younger Ehveen he'd known.
"Yes, yes," he shouted to the amusement of the women. "Yes, I will do whatever
I need to do…" he put her back on the ground, gently but held her to her feet.
"… whatever I must." His golden eyes sparkled with tears. "Because I love you,
Ehveen."
===============================================================================
                                    Issuya
Cut and Suu returned to Saria's apartment in Issuya at the end of the day. They
were quieter, almost somber, as Cut opened the door and checked the interior.
Without speaking they set their packs in the bedroom and moved around the
apartment. Cut went into the kitchen while Suu stepped out on the patio for a
few moments before coming inside to sit and watch Cut cook.
"I think that's what it will feel like." Suu's voice was contemplative as she
sat at the table.
"What, Suu?" his asked while his hands were busy with cutting vegetables and
tossing them into the hot pan.
"When Shaeeah and Jek grow up, make their own families and leave." Her fingers
traced random patterns on the table.
"Maybe a little. But won't we be proud of our children? They're growing into
fine adults." He looked at her, noticed her sadness and rubbed her neck with a
momentarily free hand. "That's still a couple of years in the future; even more
for Keeli and the little one we're trying for now." He turned back to the
sizzling pan.
Cut set the plates of vegetables with some bread on the table but she only
picked at her food. He knew she was thinking of his age; that by the time she
was sixty, he'd be long dead in his grave. That he might not be around to see
this child they were trying for grow up. He came around her and put his hands
on her shoulders; laying his head on her shoulder, kissing her neck with tender
care.
"Don't, my love." He held his arms around her and spoke softly in her ear.
"Don't think about the years I'll be gone, think about the years I'll be here
with you. Good years, Suu. Good years," he promised.
But salty tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned her face to kiss him.
The next morning Cut went to see Chios at the warehouse and invited him and
Elis to dinner. Suu made chocolate pudding pie, a favorite of both Chios and
Cut, and fresh bread. She made a cold fruit soup from muja and goldenfruit
while Cut marinated strips of bantha and nerf steak for the grill then cut
vegetables for the skewers. They showered together, giggling as they washed
each other. Suu dressed in a long, loose tunic that had been a gift from Cut
while he put on his good pants and a white shirt which emphasized the breadth
of his shoulders.
Suu smiled and kissed her handsome husband even as the bell chimed their
visitors.
"Do you think they'll go away if we ignore them?" whispered Suu, her lips
touching his.
"No," he grinned with sparkling eyes. "Elis hasn't spoken with you in ages. I'm
sure she has gossip you simply must share." Suu giggled and rolled her eyes.
Elis was well-known for her proclivity to talk; especially about people. It
some ways, Cut considered her his most valuable intel source, Suu considered
her an entertaining friend.
Neither he nor Suu were far from wrong. The older, Wroonian couple were
delighted to see them away from business. At their questions, Elis spent most
of dinner re-acquainting them with everything that had happened in Issuya for
the past few weeks. She paused only at the sight of the pie. She, also, enjoyed
Suu's baking. Cut took the opportunity to turn to Chios.
"Do you have a position at the warehouse for me, Chios?" asked Cut as they
relaxed, moving toward the large couch and comfortable chairs in the living
room. Suu served the pie, bringing them their plates.
"Ah Cut, you have a good income at the farm. My best harvesters." Chios glanced
longingly at the pie, obviously considering his slice too small.
Cut grinned, glanced at Suu and took her hand. "Just a temporary job, day
laborer, maybe a half year, Chios. A little extra cash is always welcome for
new children." Suu blushed at his words.
"Are you expecting?" Elis was always interested in babies and could talk for
hours about babies; particularly her own seven grandchildren and the expected
first great-grandbaby. Suu had laughed while Cut silently marveled at the idea
of generations, of Chios seeing a great-grandchild. He didn't think he would
ever see a great-grandchild, but maybe he'd see a grandchild; a beautiful
little child of Shaeeah's or Jeks, maybe even a human child of Keeli's. He
shook his head at himself. Probably not Keeli's.
"Not yet, but Cut is doing his best to make it happen." This time Cut had
blushed at her words. Chios' response to that started low; a chuckle like the
roll of distant thunder, then bursting forth into loud, pleased laughter as
Chios clapped Cut on the shoulder, several times. Cut grinned in happy
embarrassment. Chios had introduced him to Suu.
Elis glanced at the men, subduing her husband with a glance, though his chest
still rumbled with satisfaction. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" She asked,
turning toward Suu, lowering her voice. Men often didn't like to hear about
such things.
"Both Chymdura and Saria agree it was the work. That was a hard season, as you
recall. We shouldn't have that problem this year." Suu took a sip of the wine
Chios and Elis had brought. "Shaeeah and Jek are older, their cousin Numa is
visiting indefinitely, from Ryloth - you've heard how things are there. She's a
conscientious and serious girl. Jester is well-versed in all aspects of the
farm to help me and Saria has said she will move back in with Jester." Suu
leaned a little forward toward Elis also turning toward the other woman. Both
men recognized the move and glanced at each other. Their intrusion on the
conversation was obviously unwanted.
"Oh, that is so good. She has been miserable in town. So lonely."
Suu continued. "We anticipate no problems, but we'll be ready for them." She
smiled. "All of them. Saria has given me permission to tell you that she and
Jester will also be having a baby themselves in about five or six months."
Elis clapped her hand. "No wonder she was so miserable. And that boy…" She
shook her head, "Needs to take care of her."
"He will, Elis. He certainly will now," affirmed Suu.
Chios turned to Cut and gestured him to the table for talk and another piece of
pie.
"Of course I can always use a good worker, Cut." Chios cut himself another
piece of pie, slightly larger than his first. "You work hard and good. For that
short season I had you, you were one of my best laborers. If Suu hadn't taken
you on, I was considering hiring you for post-seasonal work." He took a bite of
the pie, his eyes closed as the smoothness of the chocolate slid over his
tongue. "I have a position, worker foreman for one of the loading crews. I
think you would do very well. Only for three months though, then laborer."
Chios suddenly glanced away, toward Elis and Suu deep in conversation, then
back to Cut and down, slightly nervous. "Would you be willing to stay nights or
work late to enter the numbers?"
"Not every night. Not all night. I'm older now and more appreciative of a good
bed." He chuckled and Chios had laughed as well.
"With age comes wisdom." He quoted part of a Wroonian proverb. Cut knew the
second part of the proverb; with wisdom comes regret. Cut knew there would
always be regrets but you could only do what you thought was right at the time.
Cut continued. "But since Suu will be working the farm, there's no reason I
can't stay late to bring the books up to date."
"So good, so good. Come see me tomorrow and I'll show you the books and
introduce you to your men."
Cut nodded. And tell me that problem you're not mentioning now.
===============================================================================
"It's a drifter, Cut." Chios shook his head as he closed the door to his
office. He'd already introduced Cut to his crew. "I don't know how he gets in,
but every night he takes the food. I have noticed he pays for it in labor. My
office has never been so clean though he is considerate not to touch too much
of the mess on my desk."
"He's probably afraid of an avalanche," murmured Cut as he glanced at Chios'
desk, burdened with flimsis and scraps of information, samples of grain, pieces
of wire, tally books, and plastic clips with numbers written on them. Chios
sighed and nodded his head dolefully in agreement.
"What do you want done, Chios?" asked Cut as he leaned against the desk
opposite of Chios.
"What do you mean?"
Cut sighed. "If you wanted to get rid of the drifter, you'd just stop keeping
food here. Or you'd hire a night watchman."
"I did hire the watchman. Three nights running, the watchman saw nothing yet
the food was gone and the tool room had been cleaned, some tools oiled, others
sharpened." Chios remarked sotto voce. "I think he sleeps."
"And what about taking the food home so there's no reason for him to break in?"
Cut asked, slightly amused at Chios' reluctance to say that he wanted to hire
the drifter who worked for his food.
Chios made small movements with his hands and blushed a dark navy. "Not always
was I prosperous, Cut. I understand hunger, deprivation. Times are hard.
Perhaps it is someone with a child or someone else needing assistance. Elis
says I should eat less, so I do." Chios chuckled at his joke then glanced
around making sure no one was within hearing. "I left a note with the food the
fifth night. 'See me for a job'. This drifter works hard for little food. I
think he would work very hard for credits. Yet, he does not come in the day. Is
he a criminal? The petty cash was not touched." Chios shook his head, his
expression thoughtful. "It is high summer, but the nights still get colder here
than in the lowlands and the rainy season is coming. With that come the
migrants for spring planting and always the flu. Since the Empire, we make good
money on the grain, but there is less safety." He shook his head, then his
entire body as he raised his hands. "Ahhh, I am an old man and should worry
when I shall have great-grandchildren, not about some drifter. I leave the
problem in your hands, Cut."
"I'll do what I can, Chios." Cut smiled, remembering when Chios had hired him
on the basis of a growling stomach as he stood in the line of hopeful
applicants.
===============================================================================
His hair was light brown, almost blonde; another genetic anomaly like Rex and
Edge, though his eyes were the golden brown of, statistically, all clones. He
had a sharply canted cheek and a twisted, broken nose; both from some fight or
another. The beard and mustache helped disguise the line of his jaw and the
shape of his lips. But the shape of his eyes, his ears, even his hands matched
Cut's and every brother back at the farm.
"Hello brother." Cut's voice was soft, but still the drifter jerked to one side
of the doorway, pulling the blaster out in one smooth battle-drilled response.
Cut had expected this and made no move though his body screamed at him to
attack, move, defend, do something. He found it interesting that his battle
responses were as strong now as they'd been almost a decade ago. He smiled and
nodded his head, keeping his voice calm and level. "It's good to see another
clone. I'm Cut. I've taken the last name Lawquane." He gestured slowly at the
chair by one of the two desks. "I'd like to sit and talk. Is that good with
you?"
The drifter nodded and relaxed a bit, but only a bit. He came into the room,
inspected it with a sweep of his eyes, and leaned against one wall that allowed
him to see the entryway as well as any movement of Cut's. Cut sat in the chair,
a more vulnerable position, to show his trust.
"Are you the drifter that's been taking Chios' leftover lunch and cleaning up
around here?"
The man gave another short nod. Cut leaned back in the chair, his fingers
tapping on the armrests. "If you're hungry, don't let me stop you. Today,
there's nerf steak with gravy over noodles, qana beans and the inevitable
goldenfruit. Blue milk to drink." The drifter's face was eloquent in its hunger
and Cut continued. "There are also three boiled eggs and some extra goldenfruit
for you to take with you." The drifter didn't move other than take a quick
glance by flicking his eyes at the conservator then back to Cut.
"It's on the other desk." Cut gestured. "It's still hot," he said softly. "My
wife dropped it off for you. She was in the speeder a short time ago."
He saw the shock in the other man's face, his mouth open in a circle. "Wi ..wi.
wife?"
Cut nodded. "Wife. Family. Two sons, a daughter." He'd caught something in the
drifter's speech pattern; it wasn't the stutter of surprise. It was a speech
impediment. Certainly not out of Kamino. It was battle damage then; a head
wound. "Sit. Eat. Keep your blaster handy by all means. I've got work to do on
the tally books, so my hands will be moving. But they won't go where you can't
see them."
The drifter nodded as he moved to sit at the desk, swallowing convulsively as
he contemplated the food. Hot food, fresh food. Not leftovers. He glanced at
the man on the desk across from him, his hands already opening the books.
They'd brought food for him. That gave him a little hope.
"And it's not poisoned." Cut added as he bent to the first book trying to
decipher the handwriting. "We could have done that anytime with the food in the
conservator."
The drifter nodded, believing him, knowing he'd spoken only the truth. He took
his first bite of hot food in a long time and wondered if he had died; wondered
if this dark little office was paradise in disguise. It tasted like it.
Cut was halfway through the second book, muttering at the nearly-illegible
scribbles, when the drifter spoke again.
"G..good. Dank you." He glared at Cut, daring him to remark on his words.
"You're welcome." He leaned back. "What shall I call you?"
"Si…Sinker Wo.. wo. Wolf."
Cut remembered the name from Boil's list. Sinker had served with Jedi General
Plo Koon in Wolff's Pack; the Wolfpack. Sinker Wolf. According to Boil, he'd
escaped the beginning of Boil's third year as sergeant and guarding, perhaps
half a year ago. He hadn't done well, not if he was a drifter with nothing more
than what he carried. Still, he was alive and that counted the most.
Sinker fingered the blaster, contemplating, decided then smoothly slid it into
its holster. Whatever injuries he had, they didn't affect his reflexes.
"My wife appreciates that," said Cut as he stretched back and rolled his tense
shoulders. "She's very protective of me."
The drifter nodded and Cut caught the forlorn expression. Lonely. The eggs were
for his breakfast, not for someone with him. Still, it was always best to
check.
"Is there anyone with you?"
Sinker gave a quick shake of his head, followed by a frown then a quick smile
at Cut. "W..wish." He had learned to adjust to his disability; to think of each
word as a sentence, to bit the word apart from the thought. To think of what he
said, the best word to convey the most information.
"Why didn't you come during the day, after you'd gotten the note?"
Again, Sinker shook his head, this time regretfully, and his face twisted as he
worked his lips. "Can't r…read." Again, he worked to speak and a single word
burst out, "Nonsense." He pointed to the papers on the desk, words printed on a
box, the sign on the door stating 'Please knock'. Sinker waved one arm, taking
in the tally books in the case. "All. Nonsense." He bit the words through his
teeth. His eyes glittered with tears of frustration.
Cut held out his hand for the note and Sinker pulled out the flimsi. It was in
Chios' legible, dark print. For job, see me.
"It says that Chios wanted you to come and talk with him about a job." Cut said
in the quiet.
Sinker groaned. Again he worked to release the words captured in his mind.
"Thought. Maybe." Then he shook his head. "Scared. Bounty."
"Is there bounty hunter around?"
Sinker nodded and held up three fingers; flickering one up then down.
"Two bounty hunters and an opportunist?" Cut asked and Sinker grinned and
nodded at the words.
"I'll want to talk about that but first, how did you escape, Sinker?"
Sinker held up two fingers, again seeming to bite off the words. "Try. Caught.
B..b…bust head. B.. b..body. Later. Shiny. Take. Me. One. Night. S.. say."
Sinker steeled himself for the long word, remembering to break it down into
smaller parts as he thought it. "In. Teru. G..gate." Sinker shook his head and
smiled with remembered wonderment. "Not. G..go port." His arms moved and he
stood, wanting to explain to his brother, to truly, really explain the joy that
freedom had brought. "G ..go 'way. Scape." His arms opened wide as though
offering himself to everything.
Cut nodded, smiling at Sinker's exuberance. "That was Boil, Sinker."
Sinker's dark brows furrowed and again, he bit off words; each one its own
sentence. "Not. Walk. Like."
"Boil was a scout. He can move into that scout walk anytime he chooses." Cut
explained, tipping his chair back.
Sinker thought about that for a moment, then nodded and shrugged. He tapped
himself on his chest. "Free." He stated as though that explained everything.
Perhaps it did.
Cut leaned back and scratched his head. "Then what, Sinker? I was given to
understand that Boil made sure you had the blaster," Cut gestured at the weapon
on Sinker's hip. "And new armor. What happened?"
"Sold. Cheated. Not. Wise. Creds..." He made a graceful gesture with his
fingers, as though something was flowing through his fingers. "Gone. No. Job."
He tapped his head and Cut noticed the edge of a ragged scar in his hairline.
"Not. Hire."
Cut understood. Avoiding Sinker's situation was a good part of what they were
trying to teach the other men.  "What am I going to do with you, Sinker?"
"Job." Sinker stated firmly then added, "Can't. Write."
Cut chuckled. "Yes, no problem with a job. Laborers don't need to read or
write. Or even talk if you prefer." Sinker nodded over Cut's words. "I meant
tonight."
Sinker looked down at himself, then at Cut with a hopeful, wistful expression.
"Clothes? Sh…shower? Bed?"
Sinker spent so long in the shower, singing wordlessly the best he could, that
Suu giggled softly, hugged Cut and went to bed. Cut moved to Saria's home
office and opened up the couch into a bed for Sinker, supplying clean linens, a
blanket and even a pillow.
Sinker came out of the shower with a grin, a towel and nothing else. He'd kept
the beard, but trimmed it. Fluffing it out with his fingers seemed to widen his
face. Cut shook his head. "You've worked at it, haven't you Sinker? You look
less like a brother than anyone I've seen."
Sinker grinned. "Bounty." He motioned for Cut to trim his hair, but Cut
declined, telling him that Suu would do it in the morning. Then they went
through the clothes. There were some of Jester's clothes in Saria's apartment
that he agreed could go to his brothers and Suu had spent most of the day
purchasing items at the request of some of the men. There was plenty of
clothing to choose from as well as miscellaneous items such as a duffle, some
grooming items. All stacked on the dining table and chairs. Most of the clothes
had come from the secondhand shop, the men taking Suu's frugal advice to heart
and, perhaps, not wanting to look like the civilian equivalent of a shiny.
Sinker took a sturdy duffle, two shirts, a pair of boots, and two pair of work
pants. His fingers had gently touched a new package of socks and he looked at
Cut questioningly. Cut nodded and Sinker grabbed those. He had grinned in glee
at the fresh toothbrushes, grabbed one and returned to the shower room.
"Will. Pay. From. Job." He said when he returned licking his teeth with a big
smile and tucked the toothbrush into his duffle.
"They're gifts, Sinker."
"Pay." Reiterated Sinker and Cut nodded.
"Is Saleucami where you want to stay or do you have a final destination in
mind?" Cut pushed aside some clothes and sat in one of the comfortable chairs.
Sinker shrugged and his face worked at the words. "Not. Kamino." Cut could see
that he thought the entire idea foolish. He was on Saleucami and he had no
money. Therefore, Saleucami it was.
Cut leaned forward, his elbows on the table. "Sinker, what do you know about
the Arkayd?"
Sinker's smile faded and he shook his head. "Heard. Accident. All. Survive.
Less. One." He hit his scarred fist in his hand. "Lies. Lies." He frowned and
grit his teeth in anguish, hitting his hard, calloused hand several more times.
"Lies."
"Yes, Sinker," Cut's voice was gentle. "All lies. Everyone escaped."
Sinker stared at him and understood he was talking about more than the
stormtroopers and support; understood he was talking about prisoners. Sinker's
lips trembled. "Wh..who?"
"Twenty-four men. Sinker. Boil got them out. With help."
Sinker closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He sat at the table with a smile,
his eyes glittering with tears. "Good."
Tomorrow, Sinker. I don't think you'll need to start your job tomorrow. How
about you go back to the farm with my wife for a few days?
Sinker bit his lip. "Think." Cut nodded and yawned, standing.
"You can sleep in there," he gestured to the office. "You can watch vids, catch
up on the news if you prefer. We'll see you in the morning."
Sinker smiled. "Dank you." He motioned at himself, his pack, the office. "For.
All."
"You're welcome, Sinker. You are welcome." Cut said as he turned to the
bedroom.
Cut crawled in bed with his wonderful Suu who murmured softly, curled into his
arms and wasn't nearly as asleep as he thought. She smiled and murmured in his
ear, "I'm officially late."
Cut grinned, kissing one tattooed lek. "Let's make sure." He moved, covering
her with his body. She moved, welcoming him.
===============================================================================
Chios and Elis are supporting OC/characters in Queen's truly excellent
Homestead, which is still my favorite story in FF. I really suggest you read
Queen's stories.
===============================================================================
                                   Isolation
The next morning Sinker was dressed and sitting at the patio table. He'd taken
another shower and his hair was still damp. He hadn't tried cooking, but had
made caf for them all. Cut wandered in, wearing only his pants, yawning and
stretching, as he moved to the kitchen, a shirt slung over his shoulder. He
glanced at Sinker, a content relaxed expression behind his beard, and smiled.
"Eggs good for you, Sinker, or would you prefer cereal?" Cut grinned at the man
who only raised one eyebrow. "Right, no preference so long as it's delicious."
Sinker laughed and nodded, coming into the kitchen both to watch Cut cook and
to pour himself another caf. Suu wandered into the kitchen, gave Cut a soft
kiss on the cheek and poured herself some caf. She also pulled some scissors
from a drawer. "How about the patio, Sinker?" she gestured, not understanding
Cut and Sinker's laughter.
Sinker nodded and moved back to one of the seats there. "Sit straight," she
warned, "or I won't be responsible for how your hair turns out."
He chuckled, set the caf on the table, and sat tall and straight for her.
While Suu trimmed Sinker's hair, Cut cooked up some eggs and toast. Sinker
closed his eyes, letting the scent of breakfast wash over him, feeling the
touch of her gentle fingers through his hair, noticing the sweet scent of the
terrace flowers. He tried to imagine this place or someplace like it for him; a
sanctuary, a small piece of hope and dreams. He had relaxed and as he leaned
back, just a little, to stretch his shoulders, Suu combed her fingers through
his hair a final time then put her arms slowly around him in a hug.
"Welcome home, brother," came her quiet words. He was too choked with emotion
to reply; his mind too whirling with images to separate out one and speak it.
Instead he had patted her hands around his neck then given one hand a quick
squeeze.
Cut set the plates on the table and Sinker pulled his plate close to him, his
arms surrounding it, looming over it, eating quickly. It was good and it seemed
as though he couldn't get enough; as though he needed to eat quickly before the
dream ended and he woke, again, with a hollow belly.
"Sinker," said Suu gently reaching to barely touch his arm with her fingertips.
"You don't have to surround your food with your body and you don't have to eat
it before someone grabs it away from you. Please, slow down, relax and enjoy
our company so we can enjoy yours."
"Habit." He bit off the word as he sat straighter and slowed his eating;
although he still finished before Suu or Cut were half done. When Cut rose from
his seat, asking if Sinker wanted more, Sinker had closed his eyes with a
smile. "More," he said as though the word itself was sustenance.
"Will you be going to the farm with me today?" Suu had asked. Sinker shook his
head.
"Start. Job. Important. Go. Farm. Cut." Sinker punctuated his words with a nod
at Cut when he was saying he'd go to the farm with Cut, tapping his palm with a
finger when saying the job was important. Sinker labored at the words less, Cut
noticed, when he was more relaxed.
Suu nodded and continued speaking. "I do need to get an early start. I still
have more things to purchase. You'll be fine without the speeder?"
Cut nodded, "It's an easy walk to work."
"Love you, then." Suu started toward the door. "Enjoy your new job, Sinker."
She turned toward Cut as he came from the kitchen drying his hands on a towel.
"To work then, Sinker." But Cut was hardly ready, holding onto Suu, his
forehead to hers. He gave her a kiss and touched the comm bracelet on her
wrist. "Talk to you soon."
===============================================================================
"Suu!" Her bracelet receiver toned and Cut's words came at the same time. "Suu,
answer me, damn it!" Cut never swore like that and she halted on the country
road.
"What's the matter, Cut?"
"Are you out of town?" There was noise, angry voices, in the background and
Cut's own voice was louder for it.
"Yes, only about seven clicks from home. I've already seen some of the men
and…."
"Good. There's some kind of epidemic from the spaceport and they've just
quarantined Issuya. Don't go home. Go to Jester's. You might be infected, so no
contact with anyone for a day, keep your distance. Check with Saria. Have
Jester report to Cody and Rex. Make plans. It looks like Sinker and I won't
need a ride to the farm in a four day." He gave a short laugh, his voice
lowered in volume and in tone. "I love you, Suu. Everything will be all right.
I just panicked a little, not knowing where you were."
"I love you, too, Cut. I'm turning around now."
"I'll talk with you tonight." The little tone told her he was no longer on the
comm.
She turned the speeder around and was retracing the lane to the turnoff for
Jester's house, when she saw Crux in the road. He was smiling at her, waiting
for her to stop. She stopped the speeder several lengths away. As he started
toward her, she held up her hand.
"Stop Crux." He did.
"What's the matter, Suu?"
"Cut just told me there is illness in Issuya and they've quarantined the town."
"Understood." Crux moved into parade rest, listening attentively.
"Since I've been shopping, I've been in contact with hundreds of people and he
doesn't want me to go home in case I've been infected."
Crux nodded, saw movement from the corner of his eye and jerked his hand up in
a fist by his ear. Suu turned and saw Shy, a frown on his face, but halted at
Crux's signal.
"Go tell Cody and Rex at the house. Shaeeah knows where the old radio is, I'm
sure there'll be something on the news." Crux made a palm, flattened it and
gestured down the lane. Shy nodded, saluted, and pushed off his foot into a
graceful lope toward the house.
"Can you get to Jester's before me?"
Crux smiled. "Cross-country? Easily.'
"Go tell them. Ask Jester for the camping gear ..,"
Crux shook his head. "I've heard that all the gear is being used. I'll go tell
whoever is at Jesters. We'll clear out and either give you the house for your
quarantine or we'll get you the tent from one of the camps."
"Anything else," he smiled and gave her the accolade, the military honorific.
"Sir?"
"No." she shook her head, then turned the speeder for Jester's house.
By the time she reached Jester's house, there was no one to be seen except Crux
sitting cross-legged on a pile of boards.
She pulled the speeder to the furthest end of the drive. Crux walked toward
her. "Saria says two days quarantine until they find out what it is and no one
closer than five meters. They're going to get the information out tonight to
everyone. Half of scout's camp is out on an obstacle course. At the moment,
it's mostly word of mouth and you know how that goes." He laughed and stood.
"Shy and Djinn are getting you one of the tents and some supplies. They'll set
it up a little north of here." He gestured. "I get the house." He grinned. "And
a bed."
"Why? It's just for two days." Suu frowned.
Crux lost his grin. "Unless you get ill, Suu. That's why I'm here." He moved
from the boards closer until he was five meters away from her and the car.
"Shy's the messenger between us and the house. At the moment it all depends on
what the illness is, but quarantine is a big deal. On the radio, there was
already talk of closing down the port and that is a really big deal."
Suu's mouth was open in shock. Crux smiled. "Close the mouth dear, or you'll be
chewing light bugs."
Her mouth closed as she blinked. Was that flirting or humor? Sometimes, it was
hard to tell.
His face became solemn again and he continued speaking. "There are already four
deaths reported and about a dozen people in ICU at various med units with
symptoms of whatever it is. There was a small riot today in Issuya, at one of
the markets." He looked at her curiously and she nodded.
"That's probably what had Cut in a panic, thinking I was still at the market."
"They've also closed off the work district because that is where most of the
migrant workers are located."
Suu's fingers came to her lips and she nodded. Cut was there. And Sinker.
Probably the noise she'd heard in the background.
Crux waited until she looked at him, then continued. "Jester has taken a walk
to Ossa's compounds to let them know what Saria says; at a distance, of course.
Saria has moved herself and the other women into the house and kicked out poor
Fives, Kix and even Sketch. She's quarantined the women away from everyone else
for a four day. Even Keeli has been relegated to scouts' camp"
"Sketch? Even Keeli?" Suu shook her head. "Again, why?"
Crux frowned and looked down at the ground. "She says many diseases have a
detrimental impact on fetal development and children are a primary vector."
"Were those her exact words?" Crux nodded and Suu continued. "That means she's
worried. She uses her medical training and extensive vocabulary when she's
scared." Suu smiled. "If she says something and you don't understand a single
word, then it might be time to panic."
Crux laughed softly then became solemn. "None of us want anything to happen to
the babies, Suu. There's not a single brother who wants any one to lose a
baby." His voice softened. "Especially not when they're our brothers' children.
Just thinking about that makes my heart race and none of them are even my
children."
They saw Shy as he came up to the drive. "We've got the tent set up for you,
Suu, as well as a small fire. Djinn's watching until you get there. We've
brought plenty of water and some sandwiches." He smiled. "I made them for you."
Suu grinned. "Thank you, Shy."
"And, of course, boiled eggs." He raised his eyebrow at her. She laughed in
response.
"I take it that people have missed my cooking? Checkout hasn't improved much
even with supervision the other day?" She teased as she got out of the speeder.
"Suu," Crux sighed, standing. "We were getting ready to line up and kiss your
feet, to beg you to cook for us. We were getting ready to come early and learn,
really pay attention, to how to cook breakfast."
Both men walked with her, five meters away, to her new camp. She told them she
had bought and brought things, but to check with Saria before they removed
things from the speeder. Djinn moved away from the fire as she walked into
camp. For a while, all three men sat the proper distance away and chatted with
her. Then Djinn and Shy left for the meeting. Crux stayed, talking, asking
questions about how people acted and reacted.
When Shy returned he confirmed that Saleucami's only spaceport had closed, the
planet was now officially quarantined. They had determined the illness to be
one of the shadow virus; early symptoms were a headache, chills and coughing.
Contagion rate was almost one hundred percent. The fatality rate was,
tentatively, about sixty five percent and usually came from respiratory
failure, less often multi-organ failure.
Cody and Rex were preparing the house and camp for isolation. Jester had talked
to Arybas and none of the Gran had gone to town that day. Arybas said they
would close their enclave to outsiders. Jester said he would keep in touch and
they would do the same. Saria had raced to her data pad to research the shadow
viruses. From her memory she said most of the shadow viruses were transferred
by touch and had an incubation of three days. Suu shrugged. Just an extra day.
She said good evening to Crux and Shy, then moved into the tent. It was roomy,
originally meant for four to six people. They'd brought her a cot, some
coverings and even the pillow from her own bed. She smiled at that. Suu heard
Crux and Shy outside, still talking quietly though they were both ready for
sleep.
Crux sighed deeply as he leaned backed against a comfortably curved rock
covered with a padded blanket. "It was like when we were troopers, Shy. Like
before a battle where we knew we were outnumbered or outgunned. Grim. Like when
we knew brothers would die."
Shy heard her intake of breath and knew Suu had heard them. He almost started
to cry when he heard her sobs muffled into the blankets.
"I'm sorry, Suu," Crux apologized so quietly he wasn't sure she heard him.
Suu had a miserable headache in the morning though she was reasonably sure it
came from crying most of the night and having no Cut next to her.
===============================================================================
                             Isolation II - Orders
Cody was relaxed, leaning against the tree trunk, Rex beside him. "That's not
going to work, Rex. You can't think of an ill person as an enemy combatant."
Cody bent forward, using the stick to draw in the soil.. "You have to think of
them as," he frowned. "A communication node. We have to worry about clusters,
about movement. Think of the disease as a message to contain instead of a
physical objective to destroy, like a droid."
"Surely, they'll hold in tight, wherever they are," objected Rex. "It's a
disease, not something they can run away from. They'll stay put; take care of
their ill, stay in familiar area."
"No, Rex. They won't hold tight. Civilians don't have training for something
like this. Some of them might stay with their family, but some won't. They'll
be scared. Some will panic, some will fall into their everyday habits.
Civilians with irrational fear don't think, Rex, they react. They'll grasp at
imaginary straws. They'll come from Issuya because they have no food. Food
supply lines have already been cut. People will come simply because we're in
the line to somewhere else or away from something else. People will come
because they think we're well and they want the cure or because they think
we're ill and they want to destroy us. There is no rationality in epidemics."
Cody had drawn a diagram of a square surrounded by two rings. "We ring the
house; outer and inner perimeter. Outer camp between Issuya and the house.
Inner camp not too far from the barn and on the path to big rock. I would
suggest authorizing lethal force."
Rex frowned. "That's not my call.'
Rex stood; he could never sit for very long although he could stand or pace for
hours. Cody leaned, relaxed and smiling. He stood also. Suddenly, like he had
changed as a small breeze swept over them, he was Commander Cody.
"Captain," his voice was sharp. "What is your primary objective?"
"Protect the women and children, sir." Rex hated it, hated Cody, hated this
automatic reaction, hated coming to attention at that tone. It was drilled and
programed into him, it was the part of him that had followed Order 66 at the
Jedi temple.
"Secondary objective, Captain." The commander's question came on the heels of
Rex's words.
"Protect my men. Keep our identities hidden, Cody." Rex was no longer in
automatic mode and had moved from attention to parade rest.
"Our resources?" Cody's point made, his voice was returning to its normal tone
and timbre.
"We have food to keep us alive for about two months. We have a combat medic and
a civilian scholarly trained nurse. We have two ARC troopers, four sergeants,
two military scouts, one civilian scout."
"You count Numa as a resource?" Cody questioned and Rex remembered he'd never
played scout's seek with her.
Rex nodded and continued. "One civilian Zeltron empath, one civilian Twi'lek
farmer familiar with the territory, people, customs. Two gunship pilots but no
gunship, one fighter pilot with mechanical abilities, same problem. Ten
troopers, most partially scout trained, one familiar with the territory, a med
barn with supplies, two houses; one as a secondary base or as an isolation hut.
Five DC-15s, one hunting rifle, eight eopies, a dozen nuna, various farming and
mechanical tools, a speeder."
"How do we fulfill our objectives?" Cody asked and Rex sighed.
"We keep other people, infected people, from coming here."
"Does that require lethal force?" asked Cody.
Rex crossed his arms and nodded slowly. "Yes. I think it will." He hadn't
killed anyone since helping rescue Numa from the slaver.  He hadn't needed to
kill anyone while bodyguarding, hadn't killed anyone between Order 66 and the
slavers. Oddly, he knew he wouldn't hesitate.
Cody nodded. "Then that's what we'll use." He ran his fingers through his dark
hair. "I'll make the call, Rex. I'll be in charge." He strode two steps toward
the house then stilled and turned his face back to Rex.
"Rex, here's something they never taught us at Kamino. To wonder why? Why is
our primary objective protecting our women and our children?"
It took Rex a while to come up with the answer and Cody was gone before Rex
spoke.
"Because they're our future."
Rex breathed in the air. Future. When he'd been in the GAR his future had been
death; death in battle or death in another twenty years or so as he got older,
slower. Now, his future was Barin and the little girl-child in Aureki's belly.
Dimly, he could consider the possibility he might, one day, before he died, see
a grandchild. He could consider that in a thousand years, there might be
children of his blood and his body wandering in space or farming on Saleucami.
His face became stern and he moved to give orders regarding the camps. There
could only be a future if the children survived.
===============================================================================
Cody sat near the porch; close enough to talk with Saria. He'd told the men he
wanted to speak privately with her, but at quarantine distance, privacy
required their cooperation. There was not a man in sight.
"How are things going, Cody?" Absently, she rubbed her belly. It had softly
rounded over the last week. He'd heard that she, Ahsoka and Aureki had compared
belly bumps before Ahsoka's departure for Dantooine. He'd heard that Ahsoka had
put her hands to Saria's belly and told her there were two children there.
Jester had spent a lot of time talking with Saria. Before yesterday's
quarantine, he'd spent an enormous amount of time simply touching her, doing
things for her. She had originally seemed embarrassed when being touched in
front of the men, at Jester's possessiveness. He'd heard that Jester and Crux
had nearly come to blows over the afternoon shoulder rub.
Aureki glowed also. Rex would sit, simply watching her. Before their quarantine
she would come and sit next to him, or curl her hand around his neck or on his
shoulder or his stern face. Once she touched him, Rex would wrap his long arms
around her and there would be an instant of rapture on his hard face.
Cody wondered if Barriss would have had that … luminescence … around her at
three months pregnant. He smiled as he thought she might. In his memory, she
was always lit with a glow from within.
"Cody," Saria spoke again, smiling at him and he came to the present with a
startled chuckle.
"I guess pregnant women do that to all men" He laughed and she blushed. "Back
to original question. Busy. We're re-structuring the camp due to the epidemic
and quarantine. That's part of what I'd like to talk to you about. How are
things in the house?"
"Not as bad as I expected. We all miss someone to hold, to hug. To sleep,
comfortably in someone's arms. And it's only been one night."
"I understand." Cody said softly, thought it had been far more than one night
since he'd slept with anyone..
"I'm sorry, Cody." Her voice was quiet and he nodded.
They sat quietly, remembering the last time they had curled up in love. Cody
remembered a laughing Barriss and a gently chuckling Gree as they picnicked in
Gree's quarters; he remembered Barriss in their arms, giggling as they drank
wine from her belly button. Then she had insisted on pouring the wine onto
threir bodies. That had been the night their child was conceived. He ducked his
head in sorrow. It had been more than five years now and he wondered if he
would ever not miss her.
Cody sighed. "I wanted you to know that due to this epidemic I will be
implementing military rule here.
"Jester once said that war required decisive and immediate action. I suppose an
epidemic counts as war."
"It does in this instance. This is not be a democracy. I am in charge."
She frowned. "Why not Rex? He's slightly more familiar with Saleucami."
"He is my second. When I make an order, it's his job to make sure I am aware of
all aspects of what I am ordering before he carries it out. I have more
training and actual experience in dealing with civilian populations. Besides,"
Cody grinned. "I've always outranked him."
Saria laughed and he let her laughter die to soft chuckles before he spoke
again.
"I want you to be my second as well. I will need your specialized knowledge of
diseases and Saleucami and civilians. Be aware that I will make decisions you
do not like."
"Such as?" she looked at him quizzically.
"Lethal force." He said curtly.
"You can't do that," she objected and he smiled grimly.
"I've already implemented it, Saria. As I said, camp is changing even as we
speak. Scout's camp is becoming outer ring; Numa and Shaeeah will be there but
will not confront anyone. Each of them will have two partners at all times.
Dantooine camp will be the inner perimeter, closer to the barn and house. Barin
and Keeli will be there, easily moved to the barn at short notice. Jester's
house will be isolation. Dantooine camp will have most of the blasters.
Pregnant women will be confined to the house," he gestured at her with a smile,
"or the porch as much as you'll tolerate."
She frowned. "What if we don't obey your orders?"
"I'll have one of my men sit on you," he said calmly.
"You wouldn't!" Saria was shocked at his seriousness.
"I would; although not literally sit on you. Unless absolutely necessary. I've
already set a guard on the house and given instructions." He shook his head.
"Don't take it as restriction, Saria. You'll be able to come out, take walks,
whatever, with an escort at five meters. But we don't want the slightest chance
that any of you will contact the disease." He glanced at the goldenfruit in his
hand. "I don't want any of my men contacting the disease either; but my
priorities have been set."
"They aren't my priorities." Saria crossed her arms, her lips drawn in a thin
line.
"They probably are, if you give it a moment's thought. We're having a meeting
tonight," he gestured at the front yard with the hand holding the fruit. "Here,
so everyone will be here. Except Suu. I will explain it to the men; they will
listen to me and they will do what I order."
She sighed.
"Partially because I order it." He smiled at her. "But also because I will
explain it in the way that makes them want to follow those orders."
"I don't like it." Saria said.
"I don't either. Rex and Cut think the men have made a lot of progress in
becoming what Chopper calls 'domesticated'."
Saria laughed. "That's a perfectly funny way to refer to it."
Cody shrugged. "Crux refers to it as being civilianized. But now we have to
revert back to training and drill. Why don't you like it, Saria?"
She frowned. "I'm a citizen and there are certain freedom guaranteed to
citizens."
"Yet the impetus behind the Rights of Sentience and all other freedoms is the
collective rights; the rights of everyone in the community as opposed to the
right of the individual." He finally split the goldenfruit and set it to his
lips, tilting his head back and squeezing the sweet juice into his mouth. "But
do those rights exist in the Empire? Until recently, who guaranteed and
protected those rights? Troopers." He sighed. "Or at least, we thought that's
what we were doing. It's what we wanted to do."
"We never know," said Saria. She let loosed a breath. "I'll do what I can to
help you, help us all survive. Gurkhum of Ord Vestus was a little know poet who
lived a very tragic life. His last words are writ on his tombstone. 'From
blackness we rise, to blackness we go. What we do and how we live, we never
truly know'."
===============================================================================
                      Isolation III - Rainy Season Coming
Cut flicked off the comm link, leaned against the door with his head back and
his eyes shut. She'd made it. She was as near as home to be there, she hadn't
been in the market. He let out a breath. The din of arguing voices in
background was nothing to the thundering of his heart. Safe, she's safe, he
told himself. For the moment, whispered a dark corner of his mind.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes. Sinker was there and, as
Cut opened his eyes, there was a flick of Sinker's eyes toward the men on the
warehouse floor. Cut recognized the voices were getting louder, more
aggressive, and he turned, noticing the belligerent stance of some of the men.
Chios had welcomed Sinker, taken him out and set him in one of the loading
crews. Then he had left, cheerily telling Cut he was taking an early day and a
long lunch and Cut was in charge.
"Hey, hey," Cut's stern voice cut into the group even as he walked to the
center of the floor. Sinker was behind him, covering his back, as if they'd
left the battlefield only yesterday. "There's been enough of that in the
market; we don't need to continue that here." The two groups were in
predictable lines.
"It's 'cause of them sinking, 'fectious migrants," growled out Korly, a big
Wroonian who took pride in being able to outwork anyone else. His fists were
clenched. "They say there's fourteen dead in the market."
"Mostly migrants," snorted Bisyar, a tough little Gran with a reputation; a
migrant, though one Chios had been hiring yearly since before Cut had arrived
on Saleucami.
Cut shook his head. "No one knows anything for sure except there's a
quarantine. And if you're going to fight, you'll need to take it outside." They
started to move toward the big doors, Bisyar keeping one of his three eyes on
his opponent; Korly snorting, his fists relaxing and tensing. They'd almost
reached the door. Cut pressed the remote and they heard the big doors lock.
They wheeled around, their anger glaring at Cut. "But first, you're going to
listen to me."
Korly growled again, his face turning a dark blue in his anger. "Don't gotta
listen to some deskhumper."
Cut held up the remote. "You do if you want out of here."
"Just take it from you." Korly strode forward, his body all tense anger,
stopping only when his next step would have put him through and behind Cut. His
breath skimmed over Cut's face.
"You can try, Korly." Cut said in a friendly manner. "But the easy way is
simply to sit and listen for a few minutes. See, Bisyar has already sat down,
conserving his energy."
Korly glanced back. Bisyar had moved away from the door, toward some of the
grain pallets, leaning against them with some other migrants, his muscled arms
crossed. Korly moved back, muttering imprecations, to his group of men, they
took the equipment side of the big warehouse.
"There's a quarantine on Issuya. It doesn't matter what the disease is or where
it originated. The important thing is the officials will try to contain it.
They may block off sections of town and if they do, you know the work district
will be one of the earliest blocked and the one with the most guards."
Both Korly and Bisyar snorted, along with many of the men. There were workers,
lower-class, and they understood was Cut was saying.
"So, I'm telling you to leave. I'm also telling you to not go home if you can
manage that or to stay away from your families for a day or two. Until they
know what this is. Until you know that your family has not been infected." He
turned toward Sinker. "Sinker, get the cash box." As Sinker turned to go into
the office, Cut turned back to the group. "I'm going to split the cash evenly
among all of us. I will be locking the big doors. The side door has a code
lock, 5299. If anyone needs to come back here and stay, that'll be fine. I'll
be in and out, occasionally. If Chios objects, it'll be my skin." Both groups
of men chuckled. They all knew Chios as an understanding man.
Sinker handed him the cash box and Cut divided the amount between the twenty-
odd workers, including himself and Sinker. It was, at most, two days' pay, but
some of the men might need the cash. He unlocked the big door. Most of the men
went, Bisyar and two other Gran wandered over to Cut.
"You saying we might be infectious?" He asked, his voice without inflection.
"I'm saying I'm not going home to my family until I know that I'm not
infectious." Cut replied and Sinker nodded in emphasis.
One of Bisyar's eyes glanced back to the other Gran, his other two observed Cut
and Sinker. "Think maybe it's okay we stay here? Guard the warehouse?
Quarantine ourselves from outside until we're sure it's safe to go back to our
families?"
Cut nodded. "It's a good idea." He gestured to the side door. "The override
code is 38959 if you need to lock it." He held out his hand to the Gran. "Good
luck."
"You too, Cut. You're a good man." Bisyar turned to Sinker. "Good luck." Sinker
nodded, reached out and shook the Gran's six-fingered hand.
Cut and Sinker left by the side door, a small pack over Cut's shoulder. Sinker
had brought his entire duffle, too new to the idea of owning things to leave
them behind at the apartment.
Together they loped towards the apartment, Cut slightly in the lead. There
weren't many people out on the streets and a good percentage of those were
officials of various types trying to cordon off areas with traffic barriers.
Most of the civilians seemed to be rushing home and tended to avoid brushing up
against anyone else. A glance showed that most of the officials weren't armed,
simply using their authority to command people and the people, use to deferring
to bureaucracy, obeyed.
Suddenly there was the sound of blaster fire and Cut dodged around a column of
an arch, taking cover. He glanced back to see Sinker tucked in a doorway.
Sinker nodded, his fingers making the 'all ok' signal. Then he held up three
fingers, flicking one up and down as he had yesterday. A bounty hunter. Cut
nodded. Sinker frowned and tapped himself in the chest. My fault.
Cut shrugged his shoulders. Maybe he had or hadn't followed Sinker, keeping an
eye on the warehouse. Cut had been on Saleucami a lot longer. It was possible
someone had finally discovered his presence.
Stay, he signaled with a flat palm at Sinker. Distract, signed his fingers.
Sinker nodded then glanced his head out the doorway quickly; simply motion for
the bounty hunter to try targeting.
Cut half-climbed and half-pulled himself up the column. It was soft yellow
stone, the archway over the narrowness of a residential street and it lead into
municipal gardens that covered most of the buildings on Saleucami. There hadn't
been another shot since the first and Cut knew the hunter was moving; probably
to get Sinker, trapped in the doorway, in view.
Cut was in the garden now, moving swiftly through the greenery. There was a
circumscribed pathway. Cut avoided it. He came upon a Wroonian couple, deep in
an embrace, but passed them by before they had finished the kiss. He glanced to
his left and saw, through some feathery leaves, Sinker in the doorway. Sinker
saw him, gestured at an angle to Cut, moving his hand.
Go when, he signaled then ducked back into the leaves and headed toward where
the bounty hunter was moving. He moved from swift to silent; recent scout
training coming into play.
It was a large human, or humanoid, and wore one of the long, light-colored
robes common on Saleucami, the hood covering his face. Easy enough to hide
weapons in those voluminous folds. He was raising the blaster to Sinker and
Cut, hoping he didn't have a partner, rushed in to grapple the man to the
ground.
He felt the heavy bulk of muscle on the man and was pounding with his fists
even before hitting the ground. There was the soft thud of the heavy blaster
hitting the cultivated soil and then the heavier thud of both bodies hitting
the ground. Cut felt a stinger blade against his arm and rolled to one side,
coming up on his feet. The bounty hunter was only a heartbeat behind him. He
was Wroonian, big and fast, and faintly familiar.
"You worked at the warehouse, didn't you?" said Cut as he maneuvered himself
with his back to the pathway.
"Just a season," snarled the man. "A few years back. Didn't recognize you for
what you were, clone. Not then." He used the word as insult. "I've traveled
since then."
He slashed at Cut with the knife, expecting Cut to leap back. "Seen a hundred
men with your face."
Instead, Cut stepped into the circle of his arm, catching the arm with both
hands and pushing his shoulder into the taller man with his weight. He landed
hard on his back, with Cut atop him, but kept hold of the knife.
"You didn't watch them close enough." Cut replied as the man struggled both to
release his arm and to move out from under Cut.
"Ten thousand creds, clone. That's what the Empire is paying for traitors."
Cut tried to reach his throat with one hand, but the Wroonian caught it in his
teeth and bit, holding onto the outer edge of Cut's hand, Cut's blood running
through his teeth, coloring them, merging with the purple of his gums. Cut
stifled a sharp curse as the teeth bit deeper and held on. His legs had come
up, wrapped around the man's arm and Cut let go of the muscular arm and punched
into the dark blue throat. It was a small target, usually not worth trying for.
The blue man's body fell limp.
There was a noise coming in from the pathway and Cut had the blaster in his
bloody, almost nerveless, hand. It was Sinker. Cut dropped the weapon and put
his good hand around his wound.
"I think he's dead, Sinker. But make sure." Sinker nodded. While Cut bandaged
his hand with a strip from the man's cape, Sinker checked the Wroonian and
slipped the blaster and stinger knife into his duffle.
"Rob. Ree?" he asked Cut, then pulled the man's wallet at Cut's assent.
He was glad it hadn't been a clone, he thought as he wrapped his bleeding hand.
He didn't know what he would have done if he had looked down into a pair of
golden-brown eyes.
Sinker came close, reached out his hand to tie off Cut's bandage then tightened
the duffle strap across his chest.
"Few more minutes, Sinker. Then we'll be there." Cut picked up his small pack,
pulled off during the struggle and slipped it over his shoulder.
The main thoroughfare to Saria's apartment was blocked. Cut didn't even pause,
simply leapt the barrier and kept running in spite of the yells and sound of
pounding feet that followed for a short distance. Sinker was only a breath
behind him. They easily outdistanced the pursuers, desk bureaucrats trying to
do something they'd never been trained for.
They passed Saria's then doubled back to the rear of the building. Sinker gave
Cut a boost to the second floor then clambered up as far as he could without
assistance. By then, Cut had his good hand down to assist.
Sinker sat on a chair as Cut opened the patio door. By chance it was the same
one he'd sat in earlier that day. He saw some wisps of his cut hair against one
of the potted plants.
"Bad. Start." He said.
Cut unlocked the door. "Well, you got paid. if everything goes well, you'll
have a job there when this is all over."
Sinker merely frowned. He slumped, his shoulders rounded; so different from his
enthusiasm of the morning. He bit out his thoughts. "No. Luck." He made a
throwing motion with his arm, but the small handful of hair simply tumbled in
the evening breeze. His lips twisted and he looked at Cut with moisture
softening his golden eyes. "Never."
"Not your fault, Sinker," murmured Cut as he turned on the holovid for news
then moved to the kitchen where Saria kept a first aid kit. He sat on the
couch, listening attentively to the news, as he cleaned his hand and rubbed in
some bacta salve. He'd let it bleed a bit more, to clean it out.
The news was all bad, except the implications, which were worse. There were
fourteen dead in the market riot; caused by one of the sellers, who had died.
He'd been coughing, complaining of chills and was packing up to go home when he
had simply slumped over his table. Cut absently wondered what he'd been
selling, knew he probably wasn't a migrant. Why a riot for something so simply
and seemingly quiet.
There were the usual demagogues; it was because of the migrants, it was because
of the solar arcs, the hand of wrath, or the oncoming rainy season; take your
pick. Cut flicked it off and glanced out to the patio. Sinker seemed to be
taking it personally.
Sinker came in from the patio, then. He touched Cut lightly on the shoulder
and, when Cut looked up, pointed out toward the horizon where a dark line of
clouds made an ugly streak across the sky.
Cut sighed. "The rainy season is upon us."
===============================================================================
                                 Rainy Season
Suu_-_Isolation
Suu sat at the entrance of the tent, her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms
circling her legs. She watched a line of black clouds as they slowly drifted
closer. Rainy season in the calderas of Saleucami was mostly warm. Rarely was
there thunder or lightning, simply the opening of heavy, black clouds filled
with the water that softened the soil and moistened the seedling crops. Rain
would fall, solid for three or four days, then slacken for a day of overcast
sun and return again in force for another three or four days. Over the course
of a tenday, the dark fields would turn brilliant green.
Her fields would be green. Cut and Jester and their brothers had worked hard,
setting out the seed, covering it with the fertilizer net. The net would catch
the water, ensuring the seeds didn't wash out, then slowly dissolve over the
season.
She glanced into the fire. It would be gone as soon as the rain started. She
had talked with Cut last night. He and Sinker were well. He had mentioned that
traitors to the Empire were worth a 10,000 credit bounty and then, laughingly,
offered to turn bounty hunter. She knew that had been a code and when they
ended the call in the murmurs of 'I love you', she asked Shy to tell Cody. She
expected Cody or Rex, or both, to come to her little isolation camp, sit five
meters away and question her about the call. She suspected that Cut and Sinker
had run into one. Suu sighed. After eight years on Saleucami, it wouldn't be
surprising if one had discovered her husband. Perhaps he had been following
Sinker, although she didn't think so. Sinker, with his light hair and his
battered face didn't look like his brothers.
Suu sighed, thinking of the dark, fertile soil of her farm, of the bright green
of new seedlings. She thought of the eopies, their warm, animal smell and their
drooling friendliness. She thought of the nuna, their hisses and chubble
noises. She thought of the house and outbuildings that Cut had repaired, the
thermal pool they'd modified, even the big protective galik trees in her front
yard that people liked to climb. There was so much here that made it home, so
much here that she loved.
Suu put her hands over her face. If Cut had to run, she'd leave it all behind.
Quad_–_Outer_Ring
Quad glanced down at Shaeeah from his seat near the small fire. They had
reshuffled camps again. Scouts camp was now outer ring – the perimeter to
protect them all from Red Shadow Virus. Any intruders would be turned away.
Overhead, on the tarp under the tree, he could hear the rain. It seemed to drum
softly on the material and the sound was comforting. Inner ring had authority
to use lethal force as necessary. Cody had explained the quarantine, the
results of the disease, and asked what they should do. Every man there had
nodded grimly at the use of lethal force. Quad looked into Shaeeah's peaceful
face, vowing he would not lose her to any disease.
Numa and Shaeeah had been asked to go to the barn, but had refused. Numa had
Boil and Waxer to watch over her. Cody had asked for volunteers for Shaeeah and
she had balked. Cody had simply said 'volunteer partners or the barn, your
choice' and she'd decided partners sounded ok. Chopper had been the first to
volunteer, reminding the others with an easy grin and a wink at the girl that
Shaeeah knew how to cook. Quad had volunteered second.
Shaeeah was asleep under the tarp on her blankets. Chopper's big arm was slung
protectively over her shoulders. She was curled up, her back to his chest, her
head tucked under his chin, her lekku gently curled around his bicep. Quad
smiled. She liked sleeping like that; tightly curled leaning against him or one
of his brothers. She loved sleeping between him and Chopper, her own arm draped
protectively over him. He liked it too. Sometimes her hand slipped under his
shirt, pressing against the skin of his chest; sometimes it draped over his
groin.
He liked Shaeeah; liked sharing friendship, sharing the joy of their kisses,
their touching. Nothing in his imagination had ever felt like that. He had
talked to some of the men, Fives in particular, about sex, about knowing how to
please a woman. Quad smiled in his secret heart. Apparently, he had done well
in pleasing Shaeeah.
Quad had decided he wanted her and each day on Saleucami only reinforced that
decision. He would stay on Saleucami. He would farm with her family, with his
brothers Cut and Jester, probably a few others. He would work hard. He'd ask
about giving her children one day. He would give her everything he could. If
Shaeeah wished, he'd share her with other brothers; she seemed open to the
possibility.
They hadn't talked about any of that yet. It was too solid, too defining at the
moment. Neither he nor Shaeeah were ready to talk about what their bodies had
already promised. Quad decided he'd go through the entire debriefing, only psyc
remained, as though he were going to Dantooine or some other planet. But he
wouldn't go and in a year he would ask her if she would marry him. He'd give
her another year to decide; a year in which he would build a house for her.
For now, there was only closeness, the touching of their lips, the sweet warmth
of her body, the pleasure they gave each other.
Quad smiled and moved quietly, curling on his blanket in front of Shaeeah. She
half-woke, her hands moved; one shifting under his neck, the other slipping
under his shirt to absently stroke his back, then was still as she drifted back
to sleep.
He wondered if this was like love.
Rex_–_Inner_Ring
Rex was afraid. Originally it had been planned that Barin would be with Aureki,
his mama 'ki, in the house. Saria had vetoed that and Barin was at camp with
him and Echo. Rex didn't think it would be a problem with Echo there. Barin
could curl up with Echo. It would be Echo responsible for taking him to the
barn if drifters got that close.
But lately, possibly under Jek's influence; Jek with only one father, Barin had
started singling Rex out as his father, his primary masculine influence in a
sea of brothers. And it was at the side of Rex's bedroll that Barin spread out
his blankets and set his small pack of favorite toys.
Silently, Echo reset his bedroll on the other side of Rex, as close as a lover.
"I'll know, Rex. You tense up when you're having one of those nightmares. I'll
know and I'll wake up in time."
Fives had raised an eyebrow and reset his bedroll on the outside of Barin's.
"I'll be there, too, Rex. I'll cover Barin."
Rex nodded, swallowing hard, ashamed of his night terrors.
"I'll let the others in camp know about my nightmares." He glanced at Echo. "In
case it happens. I wouldn't want it to be a surprise."
Echo had nodded.
Saria_–_House
Jester came up to sitting at the back door. The rain dripped down the contours
of his face and his hair was darker for the moisture in it. She smiled and
kissed her fingertips, spreading them outward toward him. He smiled and sat on
the soggy grass five meters away.
"Stand up, Saria and show me." He called. "If I can't run my fingers over your
belly and touch them, I want to see my babies."
She laughed. He was getting use to the idea of twins. When she told him that
Ahsoka had planted her hands on Saria's belly bump and announced twins, his
legs had lost their strength and he had fallen to the soft ground. Of course,
in mere seconds he had her in his lap and was laughing and kissing her.
Saria stood from the chair and turned sideways, then pulled her shirt tightly
around her tummy. She looked at him, blushing in embarrassment, and the look on
his face made her heart flutter.
"You're beautiful, Saria." His voice was low, barely reaching her ears. "You
are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy and I am so much in love with you."
She blushed an even deeper red and sat down in the chair, unable to speak. She
heard him chuckle and glanced into his eyes.
"I will tell you that every day, Saria." Then he grinned at her. "You're
turning as red as Sula." His fingers twisted some strands of wet grass as he
looked down. She knew he was nervous about something.
"What's the matter, Jester?"
"Are you going to be alright? I mean, is having twins …" he trailed off, his
eyes worried, his smile gone.
"There's always a danger for women having children, but it's miniscule. Even
for women having twins. I'll make sure Kix is well-trained and ready for
anything."
Jester laughed. "You'd better start soon. He starts hyperventilating when he
hears the word 'pregnant'.
"As soon as I'm out of here." She smiled and for a while there were no words
between them as they loved each other with their eyes. Then Jester sighed
heavily.
"I need to go to Cass Cjain's house, Saria. She lives close enough to us,
closer than Arybas, and she needs to know how we're going to handle things."
"I know," she sighed. "Just don't let her do anything like last time."
Jester shook his head. "Certainly not what I want, even if there wasn't a
quarantine on. I'll maintain five meters distance." He was quiet for a moment.
"Makes me wish Cut was here. There's enough mutual antipathy between them…." He
looked at the ground then up into her eyes. "I'll take someone with me," his
smile turned lop-sided. "Just for company. He can stay back while I talk with
her."
Cass_Cjain
Cass slammed the door of the speeder. They weren't letting anyone into Issuya.
She threw one of the goldenfruit at the tree stump. She had a good aim and the
fruit hit with a soggy sounding splat. Angrily she went into the house, her
hair was already limp and soaked from the rain, the nice dress she'd worn
plastered to her body. A sharp edge on one of the cut stumps scrapped her leg
and Cass gasp at the sudden pain. She looked to see blood dripping down her
leg.
Once in the house, she cleaned the blood and put on a touch of antiseptic and
small band. It wasn't a bad cut, just above her knee, and it wasn't ragged like
it was from a scrap of tree bark or wood. For a moment she wondered what had
caused it then shrugged. Cass changed into her overalls, hanging the dress up
to dry, and put on a rain slicker.
She had hoped to buy fresh food in the market today, had hoped the quarantine
would be over. There'd been nothing in the news except the planetary
quarantine; surely if the quarantine was worldwide that meant the townships
would be open. Apparently not.
There were supplies in the storage shed and then she would light a fire in the
living room while she read. A fire was always good on a rainy day. Cass ran out
the door to the shed and pulled down several days-worth of edibles. She paused
and then grabbed a box of chocolates that he had sent her. A week before he had
broken up with her. "Poodoo bastard," she muttered under her breath as she
shoved the bag of supplies onto the kitchen table. She went back outside to the
firewood stacked by the side of the house under a roof. She looked at the
pitifully small stack. He had promised he would cut her some firewood too. At
least it was dry. The wood and chopping stump were under an elongated roof that
she was hoping to build into a patio and grill area.
Cass muttered under her breath again as she set a log on the stump and, with
measured pace, began splitting wood for the fire. Her anger kept her warm and
she had thrown off the slicker for ease of movement. He had promised to deed
her the little house. She wondered if he had done so. Somehow, she doubted it.
He had promised a lot of things.
Cass split one of the logs into smaller pieces of kindling. She stacked the
wood high in her arms, hoping to make only one trip. She tucked her chin onto
the top log and started toward the door. Her foot caught in a hole made deeper
by the rain and she fell, heavily enough to daze her for a moment. The wood
scattered in front of her. Her ankle hurt and so did her belly. Tears poured
down her face with the rain.
===============================================================================
"Hey, Cass." Jester yelled. He saw the speeder and knew she was home. Crux was
a few feet behind him, semi-hid by Jester's body. "Cass!" Jester called. He
noticed the firewood scattered by the front entrance, the door open. "You stay
here, Crux, I'll go check the door."
Crux grinned. "And if she attacks with intent to seduce, I throw myself bodily
in front of you."
Jester chuckled. "That's about right."
While Jester went to the door, Crux sat on a tree stump. He knocked softly,
then slightly harder. "Cass? Are you home? Cass, it's Jester. I'm just checking
to see how you are."
Her heard her voice, weak and muffled, come from the bedroom.
"I'm in the bedroom, Jester."
He'd make sure not to go into the house.
"I'm just back from town and I tripped. I twisted my ankle real bad and I'm
really …" He heard a deep sigh. "I'm just not in a good mood but thanks for
thinking of me."
"Saria says that this disease could be deadly. We're hunkering down at Cut and
Suu's for the quarantine, my place will be for quarantine if one of us gets
exposed." Jester paused. "Saria suggests that if you have the supplies, you
don't let anyone into the house with you until this mess is over. We're keeping
a five meter distance as well as three days if anyone of us comes in contact
with an outsider."
"No. I don't think anyone will be visiting." Her voice sounded sad and small
and pathetic. He heard a sniffle. "I've got plenty of foodstuff in the shed for
a month, at least. I'll be fine. Just terribly bored of nerf jerky by then."
"I'll come back in a few days to check on you again." Jester looked at the
split logs scattered on the mud. He chewed at his inner lip. "Right now, I'll
cut you some more firewood and bring some of your supplies to the door."
Another sniffle sounded from the bedroom. "That would be wonderful, Jester. I
would appreciate that." There was a moment's silenct. "Jester. I'm sorry about
... the last time you were here. I'd just been told..." Again there was quiet
broken only by her sniffles. "Not important, but I am sorry."
Jester motioned Crux over. Crux was looking down at his hand were a small line
of blood trailed from his little finger into his palm. It had already started
to coagulate. He glanced up to Jester.
"Just some glass imbedded into the stump." Crux glanced toward the house. "She
throws things when she gets angry?"
Jester nodded. "She's got a good aim and a strong arm, too. I'll get some
supplies inside the door if you'll chop wood."
Edge_–_Med_Barn
Edge climbed into the loft above the eopie stalls transformed into sleeping
areas. The loft was his place and he liked it. There was the comforting scent
of dried hay intermixed with mint. Jek had told him to add mint and shown him
where to find and how to identify it. There was a double-door opening under
wide eaves and he usually preferred it open. The eaves kept the rain from
coming inside while moist air pervaded a space that had been musty the first
week but was now fresh.
Now it was Edge's haven. He had arranged his bedroll so his head was by the
opening. He could look out at night to see the double moons or the front of the
house, the porch and the front yard. He could sit easily in the loft with
visitors, playing sabacc or simply listening as they talked. He had taken some
cordage and shims to make it easy to adjust the opening doorways.
A small picture that Sketch had drawn for him was tacked up in a place of honor
on the wall. Beneath it was a small shelf that Edge had built with wood scraps
from Jester's housebuilding. There were a few things on the shelf; two data-
books, one of first aid from Kix, the other a natural history guide to
Saleucami from Jester. There was a beautifully green stone he had found near
the thermal pool as well as a brown seedpod that he had carved and polished
into a small, hand-size bowl.
Edge sighed. He could see Aureki on the porch, blushing. Fives was not too far
from her with a pleased grin on his face. Edge shut half the opening. He didn't
want to see them; didn't want to see Aureki's beautiful form. He and his
brothers agreed that she was the most pregnant of the women.
Edge breathed out. He had wanted to marry Saria for her children and for
children of his own. He had liked her and thought he could love her if she had
chosen him. He had been disappointed, certainly not heartbroken, when she had
declined his proposal. Yet, in another way, he had been heartbroken. Edge
wanted children like other people wanted to breath.
He couldn't watch Sula with baby peach for more than a few minutes without
hurrying to the barn, though the one time Sula has pressed peach into his arms,
he hadn't moved between breakfast and lunch. Edge had been mesmerized by her
perfection, running his finger gently over her soft skin, delicately holding
her to his face letting her hands roam over his skin, his nose, his lips, his
eyes. He was one of Keeli's favorite playmates; willing to be a mountain for
the little boy to climb over or a giant bird who would hold him to the sky and
make flying noises. Even Barin, with his two fathers, liked playing with Edge;
games of chase-tag or hide and seek.
Edge knew he'd be a good father. One day he'd like to look into a child's face
and see his own blue eyes looking back at him.
===============================================================================
                                    Illness
The rain had extinguished the fire and both Shy and Crux had deserted her for
Jester's house; Shy with an embarrassed, wet grimace. She had laughed and told
him to take a nice, long, hot shower at Jester's and his grimace went to a
grin. Suu rubbed the comm bracelet absently with a pink finger as she sat in
the tent and watched the rain falling in thick, grey sheets. Cut would call her
in a short while, before they both went to sleep with each other's voice and
love words in their memory. She hadn't shown any symptoms of the red shadow
virus and tomorrow she could go back home, at least to the barn.
Shy had told her Saria wouldn't let her in the house yet and Suu could
understand that paranoia about the pregnancies of Saria and Aureki. Softly, she
rubbed her tummy. She was pretty sure she had joined that bunch as well. She
wondered if it would be a boy or a girl; certainly not twins; twins were
extremely rare in Twi'lek. It would be nice to have another daughter. Laes
would be a lovely name. She closed her eyes, smiling at her thoughts.
The bracelet alerted her, Cut was on the other side of that comm. She opened
the link. "Hi Cut, I've been waiting for your call like some teenager." She
heard a chuckle over the link.
"I usually feel like a teenager when I'm around you, Suu. I could talk forever
but this call needs to be short." His voice had turned hard and a little tight,
as if he were angry or had been running, or both.
"Is there any new problems, Cut?" Of course there were problems, quarantine,
bounty hunters, red shadow virus. "I've told the others and we're almost ready
for a siege. Are you in any trouble."
"No, Suu. Just a normal day in paradise." He gave a short laugh. "Nothing new.
We're hunkered down in the apartment. Got everything we need." He cleared his
throat. "Sinker's a bit down on not going to work since the first day. He
thinks he's bad luck." There was a growl in the background, presumably Sinker's
response. "We've glad that Saria had a deck of cards, we've been playing
Sabacc, brought the plants in from the porch, listening to the news. That's
worthless." He paused, as if thinking what to say.
"I'll make sure everyone knows that. We thought as much." Suu traced her finger
along the tent's edge, where rain was darkening the entrance. She should close
it, but it was too warm in the enclosed tent. Cut continued speaking.
"They've cordoned off the various sections of town from each other; work
district the most, of course, but the rain is keeping almost everyone inside
anyway. How are you doing?" His voice strained a bit, afraid she'd tell him she
was ill.
"I'm fine, Cut. I would have died of boredom but Crux and Shy have kept me very
good company; they haven't even returned to the house at the same time simply
so I wouldn't be alone. Tomorrow I can go back to the barn." She bowed her head
down and whispered her next words. "I miss you the most at night."
"Me too, Suu." She could hear tears in his voice.
"Only a couple of days and I miss you like nothing else. Gotta go now, Suu. I
love you."
She smiled at his words.
"I love you, Cut. I hope this quarantine doesn't last too long."
"Me too. I have to go, Suu." The little tone sounded the end of transmission,
but she stared at it. She'd heard the squeezing of his voice at the end of the
sentence, that intake of breath and, right before the tone, the start of a
cough.
"Don't you dare get sick, Cut. Don't you dare." She spoke to the comm. "Don't
you dare." Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly flicked the comm back on.
The tone told her his comm was off. "Don't you dare, Cut," she whispered into
the rain. "Please."
===============================================================================
"Well, Suu," Shy smiled as he walked up to the tent in the morning's coolness
and held out his hand for her. "Let's go back home. You'll get the barn, of
course. Saria's cot. They're putting me in the inner ring, Crux in the outer."
The rain had stopped but would begin again sometime in the late night.
"I'll miss the bed," Crux muttered, standing near a tree a couple of meters
away.
"And the shower." Shy's turned his head to his brother for an instant then back
to Suu. "I swear he was in the shower all last night. I'd be surprised if
there's any hot water left on Saleucami." Shy shook his head.
Suu had stood and reached for her pack of clothes but Shy was faster and had
the pack in his hands before her fingers touched it. They turned together and
Shy put his arm tentatively on Suu's waist. His hand added balance to her as
they walked on the slick grass.
He gulped. "It's not, you know, anything …" His voice quieted as Suu's still
tenseness caught his attention. She was looking at Crux and Crux was looking at
her with a frown, his brown eyes dark with some hidden emotion.
Crux's eyes suddenly widened and he took a step back. Rather, he tried to take
a step back, but even as he did so, his body swayed and his head dropped
forward as though he were too tired to lift it. His shoulders began to follow
and Suu took a step toward him. Crux raised his hands to push her away. She
caught him as he slumped forward.
He was heavy, all muscle and bone, but Suu was a farmer and stronger than her
slimness told. Her arms went around him and, as his weight crushed against her,
only her knees bent. She heard the sound of her pack slapping against the
ground and Shy was with her, his arms also around Crux, holding the other half
of his brother.
"I'm sorry, Suu." Crux was pale, his face shiny with sweat. "You should have
let me fall."
Suu put her hand to his face. She didn't have to, she could feel the heat of
fever throughout his body as he leaned against her. His face burned against her
palm. Suddenly there were tears in his eyes.
"I didn't know," he said softly. "I haven't coughed or felt bad until just now.
I'm sorry."
"Shy," Suu's voice cut through the stillness. "We're not going back home
today."
===============================================================================
                                   Gray Rain
Suu and Shy helped Crux to the house. He'd begun to shiver and, by the time
they reached the door, his teeth were clattering around hissing breaths.
"I'm cold," he complained, more afraid of how quickly the symptoms attacked
than of the illness itself. He lifted his hands to show them his curled
fingers. "They're cramping."
"Hot shower," commanded Suu and Shy nodded. They made it to the shower and sat
Crux on the small bench of towels. Quickly, they stripped him.
"Impa-pa-patient wo-wo-woman," he smiled at Suu as she pulled his shirt off his
trembling frame.
Shy was stripping as well, then turned on the water and reached down for his
brother's arm. "Come on, Crux, into the shower with us. Let's see how much hot
water remains."
Crux smiled and winked at Suu. "Doesn't 'us' include her? If I only get one of
you, I want her."
"Then I couldn't warm your bed," she teased back. He double-blinked then
smiled.
"Saria may have taught me to flirt, but I am only a lowly apprentice to your m-
mastery." Crux smiled, then he grimaced and began shivering violently again.
Too much to stand on his own feet and he leaned against Shy.
Suu left the shower room as Crux started crying softly; in pain or shame or
both. She threw some light blankets into the dryer, set some water and anodyne
on the nightstand, got out the medkit that Saria had given to Jester – so much
more useful than a standard, commercial medkit. There wasn't much else she knew
to do. Someone would come to the house soon to find out why they weren't at
breakfast. She'd tell them to ask Saria what to prepare for, to keep the others
away and to find out how Crux had gotten the disease. No one had gotten any
closer to her than five meters since she'd left Issuya.
Jester moved into the tent under the assumption that it had been at Cass
Cjain's house where Crux had been infected. Saria had begun the count again for
the women in the house. Four more days of quarantine. Cody, Rex and Kix had
come down, staying the correct distance, to interview both Suu and Shy. They'd
had questions, so many questions, about how Crux could possibly have gotten
infected. Then Kix had wanted to see Crux and they took him to the window of
the room where Crux huddled in his blankets, shivering, his face pale. He had
pushed one hand out of the bundle to show Kix his cramping fingers curled into
fists. Cody muttered under his breath, Kix observed and Rex's face turned grey.
Saria knew he was thinking of his family. They were all thinking of family.
The rain had begun again and Shaeeah looked miserable pressed against the
window. She had an umbrella, of course, but the grayness of the early evening
and the pale moon of her face underscored the dreariness of the day. A slight
distance away, sheltering under a tree, waiting for her was one of the men.
Shaeeah wanted to talk to Cut; wanted to talk to her father.
The comm link switched on with a tone. There was silence although Suu could
hear the soft breath of a waiting man.
"Where's Cut?" she asked.
"Sick." Burst the word from Sinker's lips and Suu put her fingertips on her
lips and sat heavily in the chair, tears starting in her eyes. She handed the
comm bracelet to Shy. Shaeeah pressed her hands against the window. She'd
known, when she'd heard that catch in his voice yesterday. She'd known when
he'd turned off the link immediately after the call. She'd known and couldn't
understand why it was such a shock right now.
"Wants. Know. Safe? Suu?" continued Sinker.
"Suu's fine, a little thinner but that's all." spoke Shy as he set his palm
over her slender, pink hand and gave it a quick, squeeze. "Crux came down with
a little chill, but we're curious because he had no contact with anyone."
"How about you, Sinker. How are you doing?"
"Can't. Cook." That brought a smile to Suu and Shaeeah. Behind Shaeeah, Quad
gave a chuckle.
"How are things in town, Sinker?" ask Shaeeah and she had an intent look on her
face. Suu knew Cody or Rex had requested that information. "We hear a lot of
talk, speculation, but no facts. They're censoring the reports." That was
definitely a request from Cody for information, for facts.
"Bad." A long pause. "Food. Sh .. short. Riots. Night. Gangs." Sinker breathed
heavily. Shy understood that he wanted to tell them more, that he wanted to
give a full, accurate and detailed report. That he wanted to stand at attention
in front of the commander and simply download everything he knew, everything
he'd seen, heard, thought since the quarantine had started.
"Can you manage?" asked Suu.
"Sh..sho'r. Blaster. Cano. Pner." Sinker's voice was satisfied and Suu nodded.
It was more than he'd had a few weeks ago.
"Can I talk to Cut, Sinker?" Suu asked. "If he's not resting." What a stupid
thing to say. Of course he was resting.
"Short," directed Sinker and Suu's eyes stung.
She heard weak coughing then Cut's tired voice. "I love you, you know."
Suu closed her eyes. This was not how she pictured telling him. "I love you,
Cut. I want you to know. We're going to have a child."
"That's great." There was a volley of harsh coughing that dragged Suu down to
the floor. Shy had his arms around her, flowing to the floor, taking her
weight, letting her fall on him. She didn't cry, she didn't want to hurt Cut
that way. He wouldn't want her to cry.
"Especially after all that work I did." Cut's voice joked, he chuckled in
almost his normal tone of voice. "Love you. Don't get sick. Got to g…" Another
coughing fit cut into his voice.
"Not yet, Cut. Shaeeah wants to talk to you." Suu said as Shaeeah tapped on the
glass several times. Suu set the comm bracelet next to the window. She could
hear Shaeeah shout through the glass and hoped Cut could as well.
"Get well soon, dad. We love you and miss you." Then Shaeeah's lip quivered and
her shoulders shook. Quad, Suu recognized as he came closer, grabbed Shaeeah
into a hug and let her sob into his chest. The comm toned the end of the
connection.
With shaking fingers, Suu held the comm link up. Someone took it. She buried
her face in someone's shoulder, his shirt clutched in her fingers, and cried.
Someone held her, stroked her shoulder, made comforting noises, carried her,
and tucked a blanket around her. It didn't matter who. It wasn't Cut.
Suu woke in the middle of the night as the he shifted next to her in bed.
Outside the window she could see silver moonlight reflect off the leaves of
trees and the grass. He held her, his body around hers, one arm under her head,
the other around her waist. She shivered in despair, and he, mistaking it for
cold, pulled a dryer-warmed blanket around her.
"I just made sure Crux had warm blankets." Shy's voice, Cut's voice, said
quietly. "Been getting up every hour checking on him."
Shy held her, as a child, soothing her with whispered words. She wondered who
had told him this. A crying woman scared all the single men; he should have
run.
===============================================================================
                        So Much Laughter, So Much Love
Crux felt bad.
Not just ill; not just racked with coughing and shivers. Not just the torturous
twisting cramps in his fingers and feet, not just the cold he hadn't felt even
on the frozen waste of Orto Plutonia. Not just the weakness he hadn't felt
since they'd punished him in solitary confinement for five days without food or
water.
Bad.
Cross.
Irritable.
Surly.
Angry.
Disgusted.
Annoyed.
Regretful.
Contrite.
Dejected.
He hadn't noticed he'd been ill. He should have. Crux wished there was a tree
or wall within an inch of his forehead so he could pound some sense into it.
There was only a soft pillow and a blanket hooded over him.
He had used all the hot water last night. It had felt good. He hadn't been
chilled; it had simply felt good to have the hot water running down his skin.
He had coughed yesterday. Once. After he and Shy had wrestled, quite seriously,
over the last goldenfruit in the kitchen. The loser would have to go outside in
the rain to pick a fresh fruit off one of the trees. Of course, there was no
place open enough inside Jester's abode to get a really good fight going so
they'd gone outside and wrestled in the downpour. Crux had been glad no one had
been there to watch. His defeat at the hands of Shy was, indeed, inglorious and
he had coughed out bits of grass, mud and rain.
The loud clicking noise was his teeth. He couldn't control his kriffing jaw.
Tears came to his eyes as he looked out the window. It was gray, wet, and dark.
The women would be in the house fixing their dinner. Crux imagined they would
have a feast. He closed his eyes and imaged Saria, her bright laughter flooding
the cozy main room of the house; watching Aureki, her belly bump pushing her
shirt so anyone could see the flash of skin at her waist, stirring flour with
her hands to make bread while Sula sat in the comfortable chair feeding the
peach. Except they wouldn't be smiling, Crux realized. They'd be quiet; each
missing members of their family.
Crux imagined again. He put Jester behind Saria, one arm absently around her
waist while his other hand rested on the djerik table waiting for Sketch's
move. Aureki was still making bread, but slapping Echo's hand away from crisp-
fried topato as he tried to distract her with a kiss. Ahsoka was next to her
sister, laughing at something Rex had said. It must have been a nice flirt,
because Rex was smiling that lazy, knowing half-grin. Sula and Saoha were on
either side of Fives as he held peach and tickled her tummy; Sula peaceful,
serene, the center of their family. Saoha sparkled, flirting with Djinn and
Sketch – no wonder Sketch was losing against Jester. Keeli and Barin were
playing with blocks in the corner; Barin thoughtfully stacking blocks for Keeli
to knock over. Edge - yes, though Crux - put Edge in there too. Edge was the
bench on which Keeli was sitting while he waited for Barin to stack the blocks.
Add Chopper, thought Crux, and Quad and Countdown and Djinn and Quad. Suu had
to be there, as well as Cut. The younglings and the scouts. Kix, of course,Crux
quietly populated the house in his mind with everyone at camp.
Then, because he could, he added brothers who had died in prison and brothers
who had died in battle. Softly, he recited his remembrance … Ni su'cuyi, gar
kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum.Trak he had teaching Jek and Shaeeah to
play sabacc. Rylun was next to Djinn, delightedly learning to flirt with Saoha.
Commander Kite was comparing scars with Chopper, Chopper would win, of course,
but Kite wasn't going down easy. Calm was in the kitchen, behind Echo, filching
one of the fried goodies and not getting his hand smacked by Aureki. So many
brothers.
With tears in his eyes for shame, he imagined the padawan commander and Jedi
general he had helped assassinate shortly before he had turned traitor. He made
them guests in the small house; "Look," he was telling them. "See how wonderful
it all is. So much laughter, so much love. This is my brother. This is my
sister." He turned to catch the hand of a woman with fathomless eyes the
brilliant turquoise of the thermal pool and hair as black as empty space. "This
is my wife." Crux said. She smiled as she came forward and put her arms around
him; surrounding him with love, surrounding him with warmth. "Her name is
Kar'taylirne; we call her Kyr'am."
"How is he doing, Shy?"
"Not good, Suu. I think he's having hallucinations. He was mumbling in Mando'a,
talking to someone. Naming brothers, some I recognized as dead, others I didn't
know."
She bowed her head to her hands. "I think I'm going to bed."
Shy nodded. "I'll stay up a while, clean up a bit, throw more blankets in the
dryer." He looked up into her face. "Would you like one? The rain makes the air
moist and that makes it feel cold."
"Yes, please, Shy. I'm very cold these days. I feel so very cold."
===============================================================================
                                     Crux
Crux coughed and Kix didn't think he had the strength, but the violence of the
cough lifted his shoulder up; twisting him, rolling him onto his side in the
bed. Kix took the opportunity to slip his strong arm under Crux and hold him
up. Crux's fever-sweated head fell limply against his chest.
"Sorry, Kix." He whispered weakly. "No strength."
"That's OK, Crux. Here take a sip." He held a cup to Crux's dry lips."
Crux sipped, his eyes shutting in pain or weakness or both; too tire to argue,
too weak to say 'save it for someone who isn't dying'.
"Dying." His voice was calm and it wasn't a question.
Kix nodded; a grim, twisted frown on his face as he answered. "Yes, Crux. Your
organs are shutting down. You'll just get sleepier, your pain will diminish,"
He saw Crux nod. "It already has gotten less, hasn't it?"
"Yes," Crux whispered; his head comfortable relaxing against Kix's shoulder. He
wasn't cold anymore and that was a relief although his fingers still felt a bit
stiff. Then Kix grabbed a hand and started massaging the palm with his thumb.
Crux smiled. "Read minds?"
"All the best medics do, Crux." Kix gave him a smile. "Suu is sleeping in the
next room. She's been trying to take care of you, but she didn't have the
stamina. Shy," Kix paused. "Shy started coughing a couple of hours ago. But
just the cough, not symptoms like yours. Sinker says Cut is weakening but,
again, nothing like you. Saria is pretty sure that instead of getting infected
pneumonically by face to face contact; you were infected septicemically."
Crux raised an eyebrow and Kix laughed at himself. "OK, no more big words, my
brother." Crux smiled and closed his eyes, leaning against his brother, hearing
the rhythmic heartbeat.
Crux shook his head softly. Why did he have so many questions, so many things
to say when he had no strength to voice them?
Kix ran his hand over Crux's hair, holding his brother in his arms. Crux
smiled, it felt good to be held. He'd never in his entire life been held like
this.
"Don't get sick, Kix." Crux said weakly. "They need you." He shut his eyes.
Whatever Kix had given him alleviated the cough and he felt better than he had
since getting ill. Kix moved to let him back on the bed but Crux grabbed his
shirt; the material twisting around his weak fingers.
"No. Like it here," he whispered, his eyes still closed.
Kix held him, rocking him slowly like he'd seen Sula rock peach; like Echo and,
rarely, Rex rocked Barin; like most everyone rocked Keeli. Crux liked it, had a
wish that he'd been born into a family, instead of a crèche, where someone
might have rocked him in the short years he'd been a child.
Suu was there when Crux woke up again. She had one of his hands in hers, her
fingers clasped tightly between his, her other hand stroking the back of his
hand. His hands felt like parts of him again, not like some animal's claw that
had been grafted onto his arms.
She was thin; she'd lost weight. He'd be thin, too. He couldn't remember his
last meal. Then he remembered he was dying. He shouldn't be dying. He felt
better than he had since moving into Jester's house. He shouldn't be dying,
he'd only gone with Jester to see Cass Cjain three short days ago. He'd been
planning on asking Jester if he could flirt with Cass after this quarantine. He
shouldn't be dying.
"Hi, Suu." His voice was barely enough for her to hear, but she was paying
attention.
"Good morning Crux. It's a beautiful day outside and I opened the window."
He smiled. "Then go, enjoy." It was another bare whisper.
"I don't want to go outside, Crux." Suddenly there were tears in her eyes. "I
don't want you to leave us."
He looked at her with tears in his own eyes. He'd miss her, miss Saria. He'd
miss all of them – his brothers and his sisters, the children and the
younglings. He didn't want to die. He should have twenty or twenty-five more
years. He would have found a woman like Suu or Saria who could flirt and laugh
and had a heart so full of love. He would have married her, given her children,
given her everything he was.
"It's not my choice," he replied weakly.
Suu wiped her eyes. "I know. It's not your choice, not what I want, not what
anyone at camp wants." He smiled softly, his eyes drifting shut. They didn't
want him to go. They loved him. He loved them.
"Other hand's jealous," he told her and she reached over his body, laying her
head against his chest for a moment, then bringing his other hand closer. She
held both his hands between hers.
Crux woke a final time. Suu was there, her fingers still holding his. Kix was
also there, something in his hands. They kept fading in and out of his view,
hidden by a white fog which seemed to cover his eyes, then part to allow a view
of Suu or Kix more crystal clear and sharply alive than anything he'd ever
known. There seemed to be more brothers behind her than just Shy. Was half the
camp here? They couldn't be, but he knew he saw his brothers. Death delusions,
he decided. But there were women interspersed in the group and they were
beautiful. He saw one for him and she glanced into his face, her eyes sparkled
in welcome. Beautiful death delusions,he decided as he smiled at her.
Shy, standing behind Suu, was coughing and trying to be quiet about it. Crux
wanted to laugh. It's not bothering me, Shy.
He felt divided into two parts; something heavy and physical and dizzy. The
other part of him felt electric and … tense, like the excitement before battle.
Prepared. Sparkling – like the woman's eyes or the first time he had tasted
goldenfruit.
He squeezed Suu's hand as hard as he could; knowing he was weak, knowing she
would barely feel it. She looked at him and he moved his lips. Suu leaned
closer, the side of her face, her soft skin, touching him. She heard his words.
They brought tears to her eyes. She kissed him softly on the cheek then spoke
her own secret in his ear. He smiled, letting his eyes drift shut, moving his
thumb on her hand. His brother Kix picked up his other hand, massaging the palm
slowly with his thumb.
After a time his hands relaxed.
Neither Suu nor Kix let go of his fingers until life's warmth was long gone.
===============================================================================
Cody
Cody sat at the big rock fingering the padawan beads that Barriss had given
him. When she had given them, he wondered why he, and not Gree, had received
the beads. Gree, at her side, had laughed. "Because I saw her knighted, o
lesser mortal."
Cody gave a bittersweet smile as he tumbled those small beads in his fingers.
Those had been fighting words and he softly pooled the beads back into her
slim, calloused hand and given her a kiss on her emerald cheek before attacking
Gree. Not that Gree had been unprepared. Later, Gree had held him and her both
in the afterglow of love.
"Gree my brother," Cody began. "My much-loved brother, I'm adding another name
to the long list of men now under your command."
Edge
Edge had taken Keeli to the barn to play in his loft. With Suu in isolation,
Shaeeah had been taken care of him for the past six days but Keeli was getting
cranky at not seeing his momma. Edge had seen the crumbling of Shaeeah's temper
over the days and her face had twisted in pain at the news of Crux's death.
Edge had taken Keeli from her arms and given Shaeeah a quick hug around her
shoulders.
"I'll take care of him for the next couple of days. You," His brows contracted
in near confusion, not knowing Saleucami custom. "You grieve in your way."
Keeli was asleep and absently Edge rubbed the toddler's back.
Crux had enjoyed coming to the med barn; usually to give Saria a massage and
ask her questions about flirting. They'd all enjoyed the conversations,
contributed to the questions. Edge usually hung over the side of the loft
speaking the least but enjoying the discussion the most for observing it. Even
Dare contributed to the discussion more than Edge, with a combination of hand
signs and written notes on the data pad. Sometimes, later, Crux would crawl up
into the loft with Edge and they'd talk about their wants for the future as
they watched the double moons of Saleucami through the opening.
Edge wanted children. Everyone knew that. Crux had shyly admitted to Edge one
night that he'd like children also but mostly he wanted a wife; a woman to be
his equal and partner.
Sketch
Sketch had, with swift and knowing fingers, drawn the picture of a lovely woman
in the dirt covering the duracrete of the cellblock. Cups had wanted it, had
asked Sketch, described the girl and even offered some bread for it. Sketch
never took anything in trade for his art; partially he was scared it might jinx
him in getting caught but mostly because his art had been a gift to him and it
only felt right to make it a gift to the others as well. They'd twisted his leg
by then and the thought of losing his hands had him trembling at odd times. He
hadn't had that fear since coming to Saleucami.
The picture had been a lovely portrait. Cups said it was a girl he had seen and
talked with; though he never said where or under what circumstance. Cups was
smiling over the picture when, almost simultaneously, came the noise of a fight
and Cody's body sliding through the portrait. Cups, hit behind the knees, had
been knocked to the ground. Angrily, he had jumped up, his fists ready.
Someone, probably Chopper, had grabbed Sketch, pulling him away from the
combatants.
"I am sick of your kriffing orders," Crux was shouting at Cody and Cody was up
with help from some of the men. Blood dribbled down his nose and there was
surprise in his eyes. "Sick of you lording around like you had some sort of
rank here. You are nothing but a …" Cody had hit him, of course. His big fist
slammed into Crux's jaw and Crux staggered back.
Thacker smiled smugly from the other side of the fence, tapping his thigh with
the prod he usually carried. Thacker was one of the new ones, not a brother.
"Need a little help disciplining your troopers, commander?" Thacker's voice had
been smug, oily and pleased and Sketch had frozen at how long he might have
been standing there.
Sullenly, the prisoners lined up, Sketch leaning heavily against Chopper. Not a
line of the picture remained as the prisoners shuffled into position.
"You." Thacker's prod flicked at Crux. "Report to the gate."
Crux did, tossing a sour frown at Cody. Cody had merely nodded then went in
conference with Kix. In several hours they would drag Crux back into the gate.
Sketch looked at his hands. He owed Crux his hands. He owed all of them his
hands.
Aureki
Aureki sighed. She really didn't feel like baking and she put the ingredients
back and pushed away the bowls and pans. She looked out the kitchen door. Some
of the men were in the back yard; busy with tasks or simply aimless as they
walked or sat in the rain. She didn't understand that, but Echo had told her it
was better than staying in the tents. Having been so preoccupied with her
family and her pregnancy, she wouldn't have believed that she'd even noticed
which brother was dead. Yet she did. It was the one who had flirted with her
every day. They all flirted with her; in various ways and with various levels
of skill. But this one had understood the basic foundation of flirting … love
was possible everywhere.
Aureki pulled out the bowls and pans. No one had baked for the men since Suu
had gone to Issuya that day, before the illness, before the quarantine. She
pulled out the ingredients. Flirting was a gift between men and women; Crux had
been a gift to all of them. Torlk would be good to make; it was a sweetened
bread; traditional for Shili funerals. Sweet – as life had been, salted with
bitter tears. Aureki didn't even notice hers.
"Haruu," she whispered to herself. "Haruu, haruu."
Jester
Jester sighed as he sat cross-legged at the tent entrance. He'd check Cass
Cjain's house later today. If Crux was dead, there was a good chance that she
was as well. Right now he didn't feel like doing anything. He had another day
in quarantine. He pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes. What if he
got sick? What if he died? What if he never saw his children?
Rex_&_Barin
Rex sat, unmoving, at the campfire of the inner ring. Barin crawled into his
lap quietly and leaned back against his chest. Absently Rex put his arms around
the boy to give him a hug.
"Da, what happened to Crux?" Barin's voice was hesitant.
"He got very ill and he died."
"Is that why everyone is so sad?"
"Yes, Barin. We're all sad that Crux has died." Rex gently stroked his son's
head, combing his fingers through his son's golden hair – so like his own.
"Is uncle Cut going to die?"
"I don't know." Rex shook his head. "I hope not. I hope no one else dies."
"Where do people go when they die, da."
"Far away, Barin. We say they march far away. They leave us memories and they
leave their bodies behind. The important parts of them continue on, forging a
path for us that follow." He repeated it in Mando'a. "Nu kyr'adyc, shi
taab'echaaj'la."
Barin repeated the words, wrapping his lips hesitantly around the phrase. "I
liked Crux, da. He let me ride his shoulders sometimes."
"Crux was a good brother, Barin. A good man." Rex held Barin as the boy buried
his face in Rex's shoulder to hide his tears. "Do you want to say daily
remembrance for him?" Rex asked hesitantly. Barin was young, possibly too
young.
"You say that every day, don't you?" Barin sniffled and wiped his nose with the
back of his hand.
Rex nodded. "Every day for the rest of your life. So you can remember when
you're old, that a man name Crux let you ride his shoulders.
Barin thought a moment then nodded his head. "I'd like to remember him, da.
Will you help me do that?"
"Yes, Barin. I'll help you. The words to say are Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni
partayli, gar darasuum." Rex said them slowly and Barin repeated them. "Then
you add his name and maybe a sentence about him. Most importantly, you have to
remember him. You have to think of him. What would you say about Crux?"
"That he carried me on his back and sometimes we rolled down the hill." Barin
puckered his lips in deep thought and closed his eyes. "Ni su'cuyi, gar
kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum.I remember you Crux. You put me on your
back and ran and sometimes we rolled down the hill and played chase." Tears
rolled down the boy's face.
Rex held him close to his chest. "That's good Barin."
Stay away, Ahsoka. He thought hard; as if he thought hard enough she could hear
him through the Force. It had never worked before, but that didn't stop him.
I'll take care of Barin with my life; you know I will. We will take care of
each other. Please, my love and life; please stay away.
Kayl
Kayl didn't remember coming to Saleucami. He remembered the beating he'd taken
in prison. He remembered the flare of pain. He remembered dying. He remembered
speaking with an angel. "Damn, Crux. I hope an angel grabs your hand."
Jek
Jek was behind the nuna pens, his back against the fencing. His arms hugged his
pulled up knees tightly. "You're not dead, Crux. It isn't fair," he muttered.
He swallowed a heavy lump in his throat. "I hate you, Crux!" Jek sniffled and
pushed his face to his knees, his entire body as small as he could make it.
Crux couldn't be dead. If Crux was dead then dad could die.
Cut_&_Sinker
Sinker held the comm bracelet for Cut. He was too weak to hold it himself, his
hands fisted into cramps. His shivers usually came late at night. Sinker had
appreciated the medical supplies of Saria's apartment but they were mostly gone
now. He bowed his head, trying to not listen to Suu's words. They ran
everywhere, so much into the past; "Cut, remember when…". They ran into the
future as well and Sinker was surprised at how much Cut loved that; how his
eyes smiled and his face relaxed as Suu made plans. Cut had closed his eyes,
tears of joy glistening in their corners, as Suu told him about Shaeeah's
wedding.
He'd have to make a food run as well. He'd go tonight, taking his blaster. He
hoped he'd returned. For Cut, certainly. Cut wouldn't survive without him. For
himself as well, he wanted, so much, to hear more of Suu's plans.
Sinker realized their conversation was over and Cut was looking at him oddly.
"Amazing, isn't it?" Cut's voice was a whisper that Sinker barely hears. "It
takes death to plan for the future."
Chopper
When Crux had first come to prison to share a cell with Chopper, Chopper had
hated him. He'd been full of hate the first year and felt it fully justified.
He'd been in prison the longest and felt betrayed by the 501st and Rex; at
least until Kix had told him that Rex had been a traitor almost as long as
Chopper. But that hadn't been until the second year, so Chopper had hated.
Chopper remembered the nightmares. They were always some variation of Order 66.
The night after Crux's arrival, Chopper'd had a bad one. The tall, black-
cloaked figure pulled out his living heart to feed to Rex. There was no sense
to nightmares, there never was and he had woken up shaking in terror with
Crux's hand barely touching his own. Instinctively, Chopper had grabbed that
hand, feeling human warmth, while his labored breathing became more normal.
"Keep it quiet," yelled someone and Chopper knew he'd been moaning in the
nightmare. Something that sounded all too much like something else.
"Just a nightmare," called out Crux.
"Need anything?" had asked Cody from a few cells down and Crux had looked at
Chopper who shook his head.
"No, sir. I'll be ok." Crux called out again.
"Not with Chopper." An unknown voice and some laughter.
Flushed at the comment, Chopper got up, relieved himself, washed his hands and
face and sat back down on his bunk. All without saying a word. Crux had taken
the upper rack and was watching Chopper.
"Guy in my squad had nightmares." He said low enough not to be heard by the
rest of the cells. "Pretty much every night."
Chopper frowned, his eyes looking beyond the cell. Then he nodded.
"Nightmares in here," Crux tapped his head and Chopper looked at him. "We can
wake up from. They are nothing compared to the nightmares out there." Chopper
had seen truth in brown eyes that had once matched his own.
"Thanks, Crux," whispered Chopper. "For a little bit of truth when I needed
it."
Boil_&_Numa
Boil came behind Numa. He heard her unevenly drawn breath, the wetness in her
throat. He wasn't walking quietly so he knew she heard him; even so, there was
a little jerk of her shoulders as he put his arms around her and drew her into
himself. She let herself melt into him like she was a child and her tears were
free to mingle with the rain on her face. After a while she turned, surprised
by the tears on Boil's face.
"Does it always hurt so much, Boil?"
"Always, Numa," he replied, his breath warm on her neck. "Most of the time in
the past we couldn't let tears flow or mourn our fallen brothers until long
after battle ; but it always hurts."
"Where is Waxer?"
"He always mourns alone, Numa."
"Why?"
"I don't know, Numa. I've never been brave enough to ask."
Waxer
At the news that Crux was dead, Waxer had shot one look at Boil then moved off
at a lope into the rain. Boil knew better than to follow. Waxer moved toward
the thermal pool, into the wide-mouth cave. He sat there, alone, his back
against the smooth surface of the cave wall.
Waxer bowed his head. It wasn't Boil. It wasn't Numa. Sometimes he wondered at
the wild rush of emotion whenever one of his brothers died. But there was
always that thought. It wasn't Boil. It wasn't Numa. What kind of wicked man
was he to rejoice at someone's death? He had liked Crux, even felt brotherly
pride when he'd been learning to flirt. He'd laughed with Crux, played
Shaeeah's evening games with him and talked while they waited in the breakfast
line.
Waxer felt sad, but over the sadness was that one thought of joy. It wasn't
Boil. It wasn't Numa. Waxer cried; not sure if it was for Crux or the wretched
creature that was himself.
Backup
Crux had died a bad death. It hadn't happened in battle. Crux had died of some
fever; had laid his body in a soft bed and given up. Coward.
Shy
Shy tried not to think about Crux. Crux was dead and Shy might follow. But
sometimes when he coughed, he thought he heard Crux's voice speaking to him.
"It's not that bad, Shy."
Saria_&_Cody
"I .. I heard about Crux." Saria's chin wobbled and tears streaked down her
face. She pushed her hands to her eyes. "He just wanted to flirt and I liked
him and … and …he never even got really kissed."
Cody, sitting in the wet grass at the back door, his elbows on his knees,
wished he could put his arm around her shoulders and comfort her. "Kix says he
died smiling; says he told Suu something that seemed important to him. A lot of
my other men didn't get that much." Cody glanced down at the soft ground.
Already there was new growth. He skimmed his palm over the grass, letting his
tickle his hand. In his mind he remembered others who had died under his
command; when he'd been commander, when he'd been a marshal commander, when
he'd been a prisoner. He remembered them all; their stories as well as their
names.
"And Shy is ill. Suu and Kix have to stay quarantined for three more days,
Jester for another day." Saria turned toward Cody, wiping her eyes. "What's to
be done with him?"
"Do you mean his body?" That hadn't been much of a problem with his other men.
Kamino wanted corpses returned. Studies, he supposed. "I wanted to ask you if
we should incinerate it because of the disease. It would be a big pyre and
might attract drifters." Cody tilted his head as he watched her think. Her
green eyes moved back and forth while her lips moved as if whispering.
"Otherwise, we'd like to bury him by the big rock." He gave her a small smile.
"It seems to be a popular place to go and simply be alone. Perhaps they'd enjoy
his company."
She tucked her face back into her hands as she thought, but she nodded. "Burial
will be ok. There's no need to burn the body." Her face was hot, her eyes
burned and her throat held a big lump that threatened to choke her."
"It's okay to cry, Saria. We have our remembrance and will add him. But you
mourn differently; you mourn potential as well as the man and that's something
most clones can't readily identify. Crux was proud of being a trooper and he
was proud when he turned traitor," Cody smiled. "And he was proud that he had
learned how to flirt."
"I want to know about him," she told Cody. "I want to know everything about
him; the planets he's been on, how he got his scars, what he liked to eat. I
want to know how he got his name and his favorite music and his first battle.
Ask Sketch to draw a picture of him for me." Again, she dropped her face into
her hands and this time could not hold back the choking tears.
"Crux came out of Kamino and was assigned as infantry. His designation was CT
81-6843. His squad gave him his name when, as a sergeant, he disagree with
another sergeant and led his men through a mined field without a single
casualty. He said 'the crux of the matter was knowing the field was mined but
not knowing what the other path held'.
Saria chuckled, her eyes still wet with tears. "Better the evil you know…"
Cody nodded, continuing with everything he had learned about Crux in prison.
Kix
Crux's body was laid out on a quilt on the table. Both Suu and Shy had asked if
they could help. Kix merely shook his head.
"This is my responsibility and I'd like privacy." Shy had coughed and nodded,
leaving the doorway for a bed. Suu had looked at Kix oddly.
"Among my people, we bath the dead with fine oil and dress them in their finest
clothes." She paused. "I could…"
"No, Suu. This is my own ritual." Kix bowed his head, already his eyes were
tearing. "I talk to him, tell him how much he'll be missed, things like that."
Suu nodded. "He knows, but tell him again that we love him." She shut the door
behind her.
Kix looked into Crux's face and said the first thing he always said to one of
his dead brothers. "I'm sorry, Crux," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I couldn't
help you."
***** Drifters *****
 
Djinn stilled and listened. He heard nothing; he looked at Riven who gave a
small signal with his hand. Nothing. Djinn frowned, glancing at each darkened
shadow. She was good. Physically he did nothing except listen, paying attention
to the small sounds of the night. It was Riven's turn. They were trying to
drive her towards the thermal pool where there were fewer trees for her hide
behind.
Silently, Riven moved, seeming to vanish into the thin underbrush of
Saleucami's forest. There was only one moon out tonight and not even full. The
forest was about as dark as Djinn had ever seen it. Carefully, he moved back.
The leaves of the bush draped over his shoulders, softly tickling his ash-
blackened skin. His back touched the trunk of the tree and he spun around it,
slowly to make no noise.
But there was noise, coming from the direction Riven had gone. It was louder
than Riven. As quickly as he could move silently, Djinn followed the noise. It
was getting louder and he could make out voices.
Osik, drifters, he thought. Numa was probably around, attracted by the noise as
well. She'd been told to not interfere with any drifters, to move back to outer
ring and let some brothers know. These were the first drifters in weeks, the
first drifters since the quarantine, the first since Crux had died and Shy had
begun coughing and shivering with bone-deep chills.
"Guntrei, I'm cold. When are we going to stop?" It was a man's voice;
complaining, whining, coughing.
"Soon, Tajin, soon. I'll make us a nice fire and we can rest." The second man's
voice was stronger, but he also broke into a fit of coughs a few seconds after
his words.
As if drifters weren't bad enough, these were infected drifters. He glanced at
Riven who had a pale, sick frown on his face and Djinn knew his expression was
no better. They'd buried Crux two days ago.
Riven made a gesture with his hand. Djinn nodded and moved back then circled
the drifters. He could tell there were three. Though the third man hadn't
spoken audibly, he was muttering angrily.  They were making too much noise to
be quiet.
Djinn was barely in position when Riven stepped out in front of the group.
"I'm sorry, you're trespassing. You'll have to go back." Riven's voice was
calm, polite and what happened next was up to the drifters.
"We're not going back." Said one of them; not the muttering one and not the
whiny one. Their apparent leader, Guntrei, spoke. "They're dying back there."
"Yes, Guntrei, we know." Riven's voice was still polite, reasonable. "But
you're already ill and we won't have that spread into our home."
"It's just rainy season flu," argued Guntrei as he coughed into his elbow and
shivered.
"No," said Riven. "You've got the chills as well as the cough. That's red
shadow virus."
Guntrei they might have convinced. Djinn could see it in the man's stance, the
way his shoulders dropped slightly. Guntrei might have turned away, taking
Tajin with him. Guntrei seemed a reasonable man.
"Make us," shouted muttering man as he pulled out a blaster on Riven and that
caused Guntrei to pull his own. Djinn moved swiftly and smoothly directly
behind the first man, grasped his head and twisted. The man was dead before he
knew it, dead before he pulled the trigger, dead before he hit the ground.
Riven had moved in to grapple with Guntrei who glanced in Djinn's direction to
see the falling body. Guntrei's eyes opened wide and white then he ran. He
wasn't fast enough to outrun the blaster now in Djinn's hand.
The last man fell to his knees, his cramped, trembling hands in front of him,
begging to live.  Sadly, he was already a dead man.
Riven grabbed mumbling man's body and slung it over his shoulders then headed
away from the farm and its inhabitants.
Djinn twisted his lips. Shooting unarmed civilians was not something he thought
he could do.
"This is not a war in which we can take prisoners." Numa's regretful voice came
on the breeze. Djinn still didn't know where she was but he knew she was right
and he nodded.
"Shut your eyes, Tajin." Djinn said softly. gently.
Tajin, sobbing, shivering and coughing, did so and Djinn set the blaster on the
ground. As with mumbling man, Tajin was dead before he knew it. It was kinder
than a blaster, thought Djinn.
"We'll come back and get that one," said Djinn, nodding his head toward
Guntrei's body.
"Yes, Djinn." Her voice came on the breeze and Djinn still didn't know where
she was.
"Make sure no one stumbles on this body. There're only two cots in the
isolation tent. One for me, one for Riven. No room for anyone else in
isolation." He didn't mention Crux's death or Shy's illness or that they'd be
sleeping in the tent until they actually showed indications of being ill. None
of that needed to be mentioned.
"I'll make sure." Her voice was low and Djinn knew she wouldn't let anyone near
the body. He stood at Tajin's body for a moment, still in the evening coolness.
He wished he could tell her how it had been before he's deserted; when he been
CT-25-0663. When he'd been just a replaceable clone. When he looked at the dead
men on a battlefield and didn't know if it had been him or his brothers who had
died. When no one cared.
"I know you will, Numa. Thank you." He didn't know if she understood what the
gratitude was for, but it was heartfelt. "I guess it's a tie then," he said as
he hefted the body that had once been Tajin onto his shoulders.
"I don't think so, Djinn. You'll see when you get to some light. Check your
backs." Now he could pinpoint the area where she was.
Djinn shook his head and gave a soft curse with a half-grin. She was very good.
He had no doubt he'd see a red mark on Riven, no doubt that Riven would see
Numa's mark on him. He hoped it wouldn't be on his chest. She'd done that to
Backup the one time he had played Scout's chase; she'd marked his chest with a
bright red 'besh'.
Numa watched him go, the load on his shoulders slowing him down no more than
Riven's. They were taking the bodies away; probably most of the-way back to
Issuya. Waxer's brothers never did anything by half-measures. She had tears in
her eyes.
***** Scholarly Thinking *****
 
Kix was sitting in the barn alone, his elbows on his knees and his hands
nervously rubbing together. Saria walked in and sat opposite him, five meters
away. Outside the barn, Jester's voice shouted his impotent rage at her moving
among his possibly infected brothers. Kix glanced at her, a worried look on his
face. He lifted one hand to his lips and began chewing his thumbnail.
"How are they doing?" Her voice was soft but carried through the distance
between them.
"You shouldn't be here, Saria. I thought you decided that the pregnant women
would be isolated." He glanced down. "Please go back, Saria. We don't want to
chance losing your baby or losing you."
"I need to know how they're doing, Kix. I won't get close to you."
He frowned; she was too close already. He shuffled his chair further away from
her until it hit the wall.
"You should have stayed in the house." He accused, sighed and dropped his head.
"They're both infected. I have to be by now.  Shy is tolerating it better than
Crux.  It isn't infecting him as quickly, but that's still not good. Suu hasn't
shown any symptoms. I wanted her to go to isolation, but she's says she's not
leaving Shy." His face twisted, ."Now Djinn and Riven are ill. Saria, we have
to do something. We can't…"
She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "There's nothing."
Somewhere in the back of his mind was the thought that if he didn't look at
her, she couldn't get infected. He stared at the ground as he spoke. "Shy is
shivering and his fingers are cramping. Djinn is deep in the coughing phase.
Riven has a headache. For a while he complained that it was just due to taking
care of Djinn and living in the tent; not being able to sleep all night because
of Djinn's coughing. At some point, he shivered. When he saw that I had
noticed, he admitted having chills. I moved them both into the house with Suu,
me and Shy. I'm just back for some supplies."
"And solitude," she whispered, but he still heard her soft sigh.  He glanced
and saw her put her face in her hands. "They've updated the fatality rate. It's
at eighty percent now." She said between her fingers.
"Saria," he wanted to comfort her in some way. He wanted to reach out his hands
and hold her. They were family now. He was her apprentice. He clasped his hands
together. He wasn't showing any symptoms yet, but he was infected. He had to
be.
There was a long moment of silence, Kix racing through his mind to find
something to say to her. Then he froze, wondering if what had just happened was
like scholarly thinking instead of flash training or programming. Bringing
together different facts and thoughts to form a unified thought rather than the
linear procession of duties instilled by programming or the simple answers
provided by flash training.
"Saria," Kix asked slowly. "What is the relation of red shadow virus to the
other shadow viruses? If someone has had one of the other viruses would they be
immune to other variants?"
"Not all, but some," she answered, seeing an odd expression on his face as he
stared at the wooden floor.
"Blue shadow virus?" he asked, the odd look frozen on his face.
"That's been eradicated, but in shadow viruses, the more virulent forms often
confer immunity to less virulent forms."
Kix wanted to keep his thoughts linear so he wouldn't miss anything, but
everything he knew and understood piled in his mind all at once, all together.
"And blue shadow virus was the most virulent form?" He asked, though he knew.
She nodded and he continued. "Would it be possible to make a vaccine from
someone who'd had the virus before?"
Again she nodded. "It's possible, but I don't think we have the equipment."
"Would that help Shy, Riven and Djinn? Cut? Since they're already sick?" He
looked up from the ground, looking at her.
"I don't know. It would depend, mostly, on how strong the patient is. How fast
the antibodies started working."
He opened his lips, closed them and then opened them again. "It's highly
classified but Rex and Jesse have both had blue shadow virus. They were cured
with reeksa root." He rubbed his fingers. "Does that make a difference?"
"No. If they've had the disease, then they have antibodies for it." She looked
at him with wide eyes. "Kix, are you giving me hope?"
Kix simply kept talking, wanting to get all of his thoughts out before they
could vanish. "Since we're all genetically identical, you wouldn't even have to
purify the blood or filter antibodies. It could even be just blood to blood
contact. Couldn't it? Just a …" his shoulders shrugged. "Just a small
transfusion. It could work, couldn't it Saria? Tell me, my thinking is correct.
Tell me it could work." Kix licked his lips, his eyes pleading with her. 
"Battlefield medicine is messy.  There's no sterile technique."  He shrugged
with a quick chuckle.  "I've been bled on by Rex and Jesse even with my own
wounds. Tell me it's why I'm not sick."
"Oh, Kix."  He saw the pain for him and his vode in her eyes, then she was
stiff in her seat.  Her own eyes flicked back and forth, her lips moving, as
she thought and remembered. Slowly she nodded, eyes still focused somewhere
else. "It could work, Kix." She brought her eyes to his face. "Make it about
50cc for the men who don't show signs of infection, 100 for Shy, Djinn and
Riven." She shook her head. "No, try Shy and Djinn first; see if there's an
improvement. Then Riven, unless he deteriorates rapidly. If it works on them,
then we'll do all the men. Even if it works on just one man, we'll immunize all
the men. I'll try to think of how to purify it and make it a vaccine for the
rest of us."
"Don't do that without talking to Cody." Kix frowned, there were protocols she
should be aware of. Cody would tell her. "And Cut?"
Saria shook her head. "He's not here and we can't get into town."
Kix laughed. "That," he smiled at her, "will be the least of our problems. Go
on back to the house."
She smiled back. "When I walked out of the house, I told them not to let me
back in."
"The porch then," ordered Kix absently. "You're quarantined to the porch. When
it rains, you deserve to get wet and I hope Jester yells at you the entire day
for leaving the house." He stood as she moved out the door. "I've got things to
do but I'll probably need to consult with you." He grinned, there was hope.
Kix watched as Jester escorted her down toward the house, making sure none of
the men came within five meters of her. She seemed to listen calmly to his
tirade though Jester shook with anger. He'd just come out of a three-day
quarantine the day before Djinn and Riven met the drifters. He was so obviously
livid as he walked more than five meters from her, glaring at anyone coming
within fifty paces of her.
Kix grabbed a medkit and packed it with a couple of 100 cc syringe, several
smaller syringes, needles of varying sizes and some sweet fluid replacement.
He'd grab the first one he came to, Rex or Jesse, then go directly to Jester's
house.
***** River of Red *****
                                 River of Red
Kix paused a moment, thinking. Rex would probably be sparring now. Jesse was
usually harder to find, though lately he'd been hanging around Boil and Waxer.
He spied Echo and ran toward him.
"Hey, Echo, where's Rex or Jesse?"
"Rex, camp, Jesse, don't know. Why?" Echo glanced up to see Kix lope off toward
the inner ring camp.
Rex was there, laughingly calling for mercy as Barin climbed over him, tickling
him.
"Rex, give me a vein," commanded Kix as he popped open the kit. Rex slowly sat
up, Barin on his lap. Barin had already learned that Uncle Kix could command
anyone and was quiet.
As Kix popped a vacuum tube onto the syringe, Rex began making a fist and
pulled an antiseptic swab from the kit. They'd done this often enough on the
battlefield. Barin's eyes grew wide.
"What's he going to do, da?" He asked in a small voice.
"Take some of my blood, Barin."
Kix quick-tied the strap and tapped the inside of Rex's elbow.
"Why?" The perennial question from a child and Rex looked at Kix for the
answer.
"Because, Barin, your father once had an illness very similar to the illness
we're all worried about right now." He touched Rex's inner arm, stroking to
feel the beat. It was easier without the armor constricting the arms, without
the bodysuit material to compensate for. "Ah yes, river of red," he murmured,
remembering battlefield transfusions. Gently he slid the needle under the skin
and blood started filling the tube. "And maybe, we can use his blood to make
sure Cut, Shy, Djinn and Riven get better."
Rex gave a wordless nod and a sigh of hope.
"Does it hurt?" came the quiet voice as Barin watched the syringe fill.
Kix switched out the filled tube for a second. He'd take 300cc from Rex. That
should be sufficient.
"Kix is very good, Barin. He almost never hurts anyone and when he does hurt
someone," Rex grinned. "It's because they didn't do what he said."
Kix undid the strap and switched to the final tube. "Thanks, captain," he said
absently. Then to Barin, "Most of the time he didn't listen to me until it hurt
or he was too wounded to put up much fight." Kix handed Rex the sweetened drink
pouch, then gave a start, his head jerking up. "That's why I'm not infected."
"No sterility on the battlefield?" Rex bit open the pouch squeezing the liquid
into his mouth. "Holding me back when I wanted to check out my men or the lay
of the land." He gave a wry grin. He'd bled on Kix more times than he could
count; more times than he probably actually was aware of.
"None." Kix stood. "I'm going to Jester's. Saria's isolated on the front porch.
She'll be able to explain it." He pulled the last syringe, withdrew the needle
and handed Barin an adhesive band. "Put this on your dad, Barin, so he won't
lose a drop of blood." Both men watched, smiling, as Barin carefully applied
the small band.
"Good job, Barin," said Kix then he spoke again, this time to Rex. "I'll be
staying the night with Djinn and Riven." Kix stood as Rex sucked down the
drink. "Rex, if this works we'll need to get it to Cut. You and Cody better
make plans for getting into and out of Issuya." Then he was running to
Jester's.
===============================================================================
                                     Hope
Rex stood and reached out for his son's hand which slid into his own, the small
fingers curling around the larger ones. "Come on, Barin. We need to find Cody."
"Cut's in town, isn't he? I thought it was dangerous to go into town." Barin
had to take two steps for every one of Rex's long strides; he was running to
Rex's quick walk. Suddenly Rex noticed that.
"Do you want to climb on my back, Barin?" he asked. "I'll run then." Barin's
face lit up and Rex knelt so Barin could clamber up, helping his son onto his
back with a strong arm.
"Cut's family, Barin. We always help family, if we can." Rex broke into a
quicker pace. Barin's arms were clasped around his shoulders, hands holding
tight around each wrist instead of clutched around Rex's neck. Rex knew he had
Crux to thank and wondered how much Crux had carried Barin on his back. It
obviously hadn't been just several times.
"Because we love them?" asked Barin in the plain-speaking manner of a child.
"Yes, Barin. Because we love them." Rex realized his heart was growing by leaps
and bounds; far beyond what he had ever thought himself capable of, far beyond
what he'd been capable of only half a year ago.
"I miss my mamas." Barin's voice was soft.
"I know, Barin. I miss them too. Tonight, maybe we can go to the back porch and
ask if Aureki will tell us a bedtime story from the door way."
"No," said Barin sadly. "Cause I'd want a hug and a kiss."
"Me too, Barin. Me too." Gingerly, Rex patted Barin's hands crossed on his
chest.
                              * * * * * * * * * *
Cody was sparring with Countdown within a ring of brothers. Even Sketch was
there, sitting on a boulder with Chopper at his side, showing a wrist hold to
Dare. Dare was thin, thinner than he'd been when they'd escaped. Rex hoped
Saria would be able to do the step down surgery soon. He needed to be able to
eat.
"Cody," Rex gestured. "Important info." Rex glanced at the men. "For everyone."
Cody stepped back, out of Countdown's reach. "Bad news?" he asked. All the news
had been bad lately.
Rex shook his head. "Riven and Djinn are both showing symptoms. Shy's getting
worse."
"I thought you said it wasn't bad news," quipped Cody darkly.
"Kix and Saria thought of something." He sat next to Sketch and let Barin slide
from his back. "They've taken some blood from me because I've had one of the
shadow viruses. So has Jesse. Kix is going to inoculate the men at Jester's."
"Will it work?" Chopper's voice and Rex smiled to hear it. Chopper was no
longer a trooper, but a civilian, all thoughts of relative rank lost to him.
Cody nodded at the question as well. There were murmurs from the ring of men.
"Kix isn't sure," Rex began, "but he was medic for the 501st for three years.
He probably has as much of my blood in him as I do." Rex looked into Cody's
eyes. "And he hasn't shown any symptoms in spite of caring for Crux,  In spite
of caring for the others."
"That is good news, Rex." Cody nodded thoughtfully. "It gives us hope."
Sketch chuckled. "You're going to have to talk with Saria. She'll be want to
make a vaccine for everyone."
"She can't," replied Cody and Rex simultaneously.
"Then you'd better tell her why." Sketch carefully stood, steadying himself
with his crutches, Chopper beside him.
"I'll talk with her." Cody dusted his hands on his pants.
"There's one more thing." Rex looked up at Cody. "We'll need to plan a small
man infiltration of Issuya to inoculate Cut and Sinker.  We need to get both of
them out of Issuya."
                              * * * * * * * * * *
Rex stood in the back yard, the air filled with the soft mist of an earlier
rain. Aureki came to the door and sat on the bench. Her belly was round and he
could see her shirt tugging up, revealing a band of flesh where his new child
grew.
"Hello, second wife." Rex smiled at her. "We miss you. Barin misses bedtime
stories, hugs and kisses."
"And you, Rex? What do you miss?" She asked playfully.
"I miss bedtime stories, hugs and kisses also." He paused then continued. "I
miss holding you. I can see the child in you grow and I want, so badly, simply
to hold my hands to your belly and feel this child move. I miss having you cook
for us, making a small treat, just for our family. I miss sitting in the grass
at breakfast or dinner with you and having your body against mine while we
discuss…"
"Deep philosophy?" Her eyes twinkled in humor and her nose scrunched up as she
grinned.
He laughed. "Yes, deep philosophy and watching Barin and making patterns out of
clouds.
"I miss you, second husband. I miss your strong arms around me, I miss watching
you and the other men fight because you are almost always the winner and always
the best looking." She blushed. "Don't tell first husband I said that."
Rex laughed. "He knows, second wife."
She blushed, the patterns on her face brighter in contrast to her deep amber
skin. "I miss cooking for you, thinking of a small treat you might like. I also
miss discussion of deep philosophy. I miss the scent of you and Echo in my
bed."
"Are you scared." Rex frowned. He didn't want his family to be scared. Barin
wasn't, he was a child with unconditional faith in his fathers. Aureki was an
adult, knowledgeable about human frailties and failures. "Echo and I are doing
our best."
"I know." She smiled softly and tilted her head. "I am afraid, Rex, but not for
myself."
"The same, Aureki. I am afraid, but not for myself."
===============================================================================
 
                                  Wakefulness
He gave Shy and Djinn each 100cc of Rex's blood and monitored them through the
night. They seemed better, but Kix couldn't tell how much of that was merely
wishful thinking. As Riven started shivering and coughing constantly in the
early morning, Kix gave him the remainder of Rex's blood and sat by the bed. He
dozed in a fairly comfortable chair he had pulled in from the living room. He
had checked on Shy; Suu had been by his side in the other room, softly running
her fingers through his hair and bringing him warmed blankets as he shivered.
"Kix." Someone called his name from a great distance and he blinked his eyes
several times before his head started dropping again.
"Kix," and Kix woke because that was Riven.
Riven smiled, "Go see what the commander wants."
"Coming, sir," yelled Kix as he stood, wincing at how loud his voice sounded.
He took a detour to check on the other two men. Both Shy and Djinn were asleep;
neither shivering nor coughing. Djinn had kicked off his cover and Shy had his
arm protectively around a sleeping Suu. There were tear streaks on her cheeks;
probably for Cut. She would think they couldn't get to him any more than Saria
had thought it was possible. They were all asleep and he was glad his voice
wasn't as loud as it had seemed.
"Sir," said Kix as he opened the door and stood at parade rest on the porch.
Cody was at the proper distance.
Cody smiled. "I thought we said no 'sir'-ing around camp."
"It's my choice and, right now, authority needs to be properly asserted.
Epidemics are not a time for democracy."
Cody nodded. "How are the men? Does your plan appear to be working."
Kix nodded, trembling slightly. "I checked them when you yelled for me. Riven
was deep in the coughing phase last night and there was the start of liquid in
his lungs; he's not coughing anymore and seems better." A quick smile flowed
over Kix's face. "He was awake and in a good mood. Djinn is still asleep, but
it's a normal sleep. Last night he started going into the coughing phase so I
gave him 100 cc of Rex. This morning, no coughing, no shivers. Shy also is
better. I'll have to do a few more tests to make sure, but it seems to be
working."
Cody nodded. "You did good, Kix."
"No, sir." Kix lowered his head. "I didn't save Crux. He didn't have to die if
only I'd …."
"Kix," Cody's voice interrupted kindly and Kix squatted, his back against the
door, his head skyward, facing the soft clouds and the blue sky.
Cody continued speaking. "Kix, we all make mistakes. We are not omniscient."
"My mistakes killed a brother." Kix's voice was hard and unforgiving.
"And mine didn't?" asked Cody "I can name every brother who died under my
command. Every man who died for my mistakes. I'll let you know right now, Kix.
I've killed a lot more brothers than you."
"But…" Kix began, staring at Cody.
"We all make mistakes, Kix. We can only forgive ourselves and move on.
Otherwise we become frozen, afraid to make any decisions and we can't help if
we're paralyzed in fear."
Kix bowed his head, his lips pursed tightly together. Then he looked at Cody.
"But, it ..." Kix grimaced, all the agony of his failures showing in his face.
"I know, Kix. I've seen how much you take someone's death personally. How you
blamed yourself for every death that happened in prison."
"If I'd had even just a medpac…"
"You didn't Kix." Cody bowed his head. "You didn't have anything and that was
your torture. They tortured Jesse with his tattoo; Sketch with his leg, they
tried torturing Chopper with solitary, Riposte with rape. They tortured me by
torturing my men anytime I didn't give them information."
"You didn't have any information, sir."
"They knew that, Kix. They didn't care." Cody said softly. "They knew you could
do miracles with a medpac, that's why they didn't give you one. Even without
it, you still saved men; Sketch, Col, Countdown, Edge, Leven. Me."
He saw Kix's consider that, slowly stand and look Cody in his eyes.
"You did good, Kix. Saria says you were the one who put all the pieces
together."
Kix gave a slight grin. "It was scholarly thinking," he said. "It had to have
been because suddenly everything I knew; Rex's and Jesse's bout with blue
shadow virus, what Saria had told me about how shadow viruses are related,
about our genetic identicalness." He lifted his arms to look into his palms,
then he looked into Cody's eyes. "It all just came crashing into my head;
leaving no room for anything else and I knew."
There was noise in the kitchen by the door and both Cody and Kix glanced in
that direction; Cody through the window and Kix through the doorway.
It was Riven, his hair still wet and a towel over his shoulders, standing at
the stove, a soft sizzle coming from the metal plate. He gave a lop-sided smile
to both Kix and Cody. "I appreciate everything you did, Kix, and I'll never be
able to pay you back, vod." He glanced down at his hands, stirring something in
a bowl. "But I am starving!" He flashed them both a full grin. "I'm going to
try frybread and egg. You're both welcome to join me."
"No," said Kix, regret in his voice. "We should still be under quarantine." He
turned to Cody with a frown on his face. "I need to speak with Rex. Yesterday,
when I got his blood, I didn't think he'd be with Barin and I thought of Barin
as part of him." Kix ducked his head. "It's my mistake," he said softly, his
lower lip quivering. "If Barin becomes ill..."
"Rex though of that later, Kix." Cody wanted to put his hand on Kix's shoulder,
reassure him. "He asked Barin where he wanted to be and Barin chose the pool."
He laughed softly. "Didn't make everyone happy; most of the men have been going
down there simply to soak in the hot water even if it is rainy season. Most
everyone else knows to stay away from us men who were sparring when Rex told
us. Only those men can use the pool now. The scouts have taken Numa, Shaeeah
and Jek off to the desert while Edge will be watching Keeli."
Kix rubbed his face with his hands. "I guess I can go to the pool, too. Keep an
eye on Barin." He frowned. "Let Rex beat me to bloody sorrow if he wants."
Cody shook his head. "That's unlikely. Even if Barin gets ill, Rex will blame
himself."
"But I was the one too much in a hurry. It's my fault if the boy gets ill."
"Then maybe you can try to convince Rex of that. Because if Barin gets ill."
Cody pressed his lips together into a thin, white line. Kix, knowing what he
was going to say, closed his eyes. "If Barin dies, Rex will simply close
himself off. He'll become something like the new brothers. Hard and heartdead."
===============================================================================
                                   Genetics
Saria, I've heard that you're thinking about trying to make a vaccine from Rex
and Jesse's blood." Cody set five meters away, one hand clasping his
other wrist, his arms a circle on his knees.
"Yes, that would solve …" She nodded and her hands lifted as though to explain
without words.
"No, it wouldn't." Uncharacteristically, he cut her sentence short.
"But," she looked at him, surprise in her green eyes.
"Listen to me, Saria." His voice was slightly harder than when he normally
spoke to her or one of the other women. He knew you couldn't use the same voice
for women that you could use for hard men who'd been troopers and prisoners but
he had to emphasize this. "You cannot use our blood to make a vaccine. There
isn't a man here who will allow it if you asked. They can't explain because of
Kamino inhibitors but I can."  He stared at the ground between his feet and
gave a breathy snort of disgust.  "It's called 'command privilege'."  He paused
at that thought a moment then spoke again, "You know we were created,
genetically modified from the template."
"I know that, Cody." Her voice was soft, softer than usual as though to
compensate for his hardness.
"But you don't understand the implications." Cody let his voice mellow to its
normal tone. "We were created, according to specifications in our contract. The
Rights of Sentience don't apply to us because we are a commodity; a trademarked
product created to specifications."
Her brows furrowed, creating two parallel lines between them. He could see she
still didn't understand. He sighed. It was hard enough to talk about classified
information to his brothers. Drill programming was giving him a headache and he
had barely started telling her. "Most clones don't know this except as general
guidelines and prohibitions on what we can or cannot do. Kix, as medic, knows
that he cannot permit blood transfusions from clone to non-clone. He has only a
vague understanding of why. Our bodies are trademarked. Our blood is
trademarked. Our genes are trademarked."
"What does that mean, Cody?" She asked "You're trying to tell me something in a
roundabout way and it's not working."
"Throughout our bodies, in the autosomes, are random genetic … strings that are
toxic inside other species." Cody almost hissed through his teeth. Just saying
the words made his head feel as though it had been hit against the steel walls
of his prison cell. His head throbbed and he wondered if he'd have an
aneurysm.  He'd heard it could happen.
She frowned. "Surely they can be filtered out?" Her hand unconsciously reached
out to offer comfort to his grimace of pain.
"Maybe. I don't know. I don't want to chance it. The Kaminoans are very
economically oriented and Kamino has the latest equipment and techniques. I
would suspect there are thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, of different
strings. So I am asking you to, please, not to try working up a vaccine." Cody
sighed deeply, bringing in a deep breath of fresh air. That was it. His head
pounded, but there was nothing more to add to that information and it wouldn't
get any worse.
"I don't know, Cody. You alerted me to the risks, but still; so many lives
could be saved." Saria's expression was worried and he understood that. The
woman and the younglings would still need to be protected from the virus.
He nodded. "Then investigate. See what you can find out. But, please, do not
test anything." He stood, pushing himself from the new growth of grass.
"Cody," her voice was slow and he realized what she was going to ask. He'd
given her too much. "If the Kaminoans have that much information on your
bodies, then anytime it shows up in a medical exam or an autopsy, they'll know
where to find you."
"Yes. Although after an autopsy I don't think I'd have too much concern." He
nodded. "If it shows up in a vaccine, they'll find out."
"And your children." Absently, she ran her fingers over her pregnant roundness.
"Up until a few years ago, none of us thought of children. The Kaminoans didn't
either, otherwise they easily would have made us sterile. But there was a lot
of anti-sex propaganda both overt and covert drilled into us."
Saria shook her head with a wry smile. "Sex, love, it's a human imperative.
Nature always finds a way."
"They did a thorough job. Most of us still don't think of children. Even when
Ahsoka told me about Barriss visiting her," he paused. "and our child, I
couldn't picture it. I still can't. If something happened to the baby peach or
to any of the unborn children here, I would be more shaken than the thought of
my own child already dead." Cody shook his head. "I'm sorry, Saria. Off on a
tangent. Our children will have only half of our compliment of genes and the
fact that we can have children without killing the mother indicates these
random genetic markers are not inherited." He frowned. "But, yes, they will be
alerted when our children start showing up in medical exams."
"What will you do, Cody?"
"Whatever we have to do, Saria." Cody shrugged. "It's why Rex is only taking
men to Outer Rim. To places not controlled by the Empire. To places unlikely to
report any medical oddities with Kamino."
"They'll find out. Doctors and geneticists love talking about unusual cases.
One day, they'll find out."
"Hopefully, by then, it won't matter." He had to find Edge for some painkiller
for his headache, but his words gave him the seed of an idea.
===============================================================================
                               A Father and Son
Rex sat cross-legged on one of the warm boulders by the thermal pool, Barin
drowsing half in his lap and half sprawled on the boulder. Sketch was seated in
the hot water while Chopper gently manipulated his ankle and foot. Checkout was
curled on another of the warm boulders, asleep, his breathing soft and even.
Dare, by the small campfire, was adding a bit of barely cooked egg to his
nutritional supplement.
Rex's fingers combed through his son's golden hair slowly. He rubbed the base
of Barin's montrals and stroked his son's tanned back. In the last year, Barin
had gone from chubby child to a young boy of all legs and arms. Rex was glad he
hadn't missed that as he had missed everything that had gone before.
Rex looked sorrowfully at his son.
He'd thought of it yesterday, while speaking with Aureki and he'd gone to the
front porch to ask Saria.
"Saria," he had asked from five meters away, just in case. "Saria, was Kix
contagious when he drew my blood?"
"He hasn't shown any symptoms," she smiled and her voice was merry. "And, if
he's right, you don't even have to worry about it."
"Saria, Barin was with me yesterday when Kix came and asked for my blood." His
voice had been low, questioning.
He saw it in her eyes, suddenly sad. He heard it in her quick inhale, the
stillness of her body. Rex swallowed as pain gripped his heart and nodded.
"Thank you, Saria." He stood and started walking toward where he'd left Barin
with his uncles Chopper and Sketch. "We'll be going into isolation with the men
from practice," he told them.  They had nodded mournfully at the implication.
Rex pulled the sleeping boy closer into his arms. Barin had been delighted to
be asked where isolation was to happen. He'd chosen the thermal pool and his
uncles had told him it was a good choice with laughter and pats on his back.
Barin had played with them all, generally three or four – and always Rex – in
the pool with him. Laughing and splashing and swimming and being the ball in
games of catch between the men; all delighted to be splashed by the boy. Only
as a happily exhausted Barin crawled into Rex's lap had he looked at his father
and asked, "Am I going to get sick and die?" He was asleep before Rex could
formulate an answer.
Echo came to the cave. Until he sat next to Rex and gently laid his hand on
Barin's back, he hadn't been exposed to the contagion.
"He's my son, too, Rex." He bowed his head over the sleeping boy. "Aureki
wanted to break isolation and come see him, but I told her 'no'. I had to order
her and she's not going to forgive me for a long while. I think she might try
to come anyway so I've asked Countdown and Edge to make sure she doesn't leave
the house."
"You shouldn't have come either." But Rex was glad his brother had joined them.
Echo shrugged. "In case Kix's idea actually works, and Saria is very optimistic
it will, Cody, Five and I have been working on some plans to get to Cut. To
bring him and Sinker back."
"I won't be going, Echo. This cure might work for us clones, but Barin is still
at risk and I won't leave him." Rex had already decided; nothing was as
important as Barin.
Echo nodded. "Neither will I." Echo moved his hand from Barin to Rex's
shoulder. "They're thinking two teams, three men each. Jester and Kix are
obvious choices. One team will go to Saria's office and grab some medical
supplies before going to the apartment. The other team goes directly to the
apartment. Most of the men have volunteered and we're just waiting to see the
results from Jester's house. Saria's making a list of the supplies which should
be in her office; what she believes might best help Cut. What they should bring
back here. Jester's already drilling the other men on Issuya."
"You'll want a scout with each team. That means Boil and Waxer." Rex bent his
head forward as Echo massaged the tight muscles of his shoulders.
Echo nodded. "Cody sent Kaver to ask them, but he hasn't come back yet. Baffle
ranged wide last night and saw more drifters last night on the road. He said
more and more people are trying to escape from Issuya. Only one came towards
the farm but Baffle had a blaster. He moved back to the road with no arguments.
He also told Baffle that Issuya is kicking out the infected, that civilians are
gathering into neighborhood groups, enforcing curfews and quarantine laws."
Rex knew that; knew that as bureaucracies failed, people took the law into
their own hands. Mob rule instead of law.
Echo stood, rubbing his eyes with a hand. "Edge said he'd go one on one with
Kix."
Rex shook his head. "It wouldn't serve any purpose, Echo."
"Everyone knows that, Rex.  It doesn't matter."
***** Issuya *****
===============================================================================
 
                          On the Edge of the Caldera
The scouts and the younglings were camped at the edge of the caldera where
wind-scoured rocks rose above the arid, rocky plains on the outer side of the
caldera. They'd found a good camp. There was a small but constant trickle of
water discoloring one boulder before sliding into a narrow crevice and
disappearing into the ground; several large trees like those in front of the
house that were good for climbing and a flat area for easy sleep around the
small fire.
Kaver stayed his distance as he told them about Kix's work, about Djinn, Riven
and Shy's quick recoveries. "It's only for the clones," he'd shook his head
sadly as he looked at Jek who was roasting a small ground kvet over the fire.
Jek's face turned pale and he slowly pulled the kvet away from the fire, his
hands shaking. He set the small branch and kvet on a rock and pulled his knees
up, circling them with his arms.
"Two teams will be making a run into Issuya and we would appreciate the
scouts." Kaver nodded his head at Waxer, leaning against a boulder next to Jek
and overseeing Shaeeah braiding some cordage from flexible bark. Her hands had
stopped their motion as he mentioned Issuya and she bit her lower lip to keep
from crying but her eyes filled with tears. Boil stood, his hand reaching
toward Numa as they quit wrestling. Absently, he helped her to her feet, her
slim green hand in his larger one.
"Saria had asked you younglings to come back more slowly, to make your camp in
the barn for several days. At the moment, all the men except Boil and Waxer are
contagious." He glanced at the two scouts. "And you'll get your little
transfusions as soon as you're in camp."
Shaeeah had drawn in her breath and bit her lower lip to keep it from
quivering. Jek had jumped up, suddenly more energetic than he'd been since
hearing Cut was ill, since Crux had died, tears abruptly dry on his face.
"You're going to get dad?" he'd turned his head to Waxer.
"That's the only reason to go to Issuya." Waxer put his hand on the young man's
shoulder and gave a squeeze. "But we'll have to go fast." He looked at Kaver
who nodded.
"In a couple of hours. Jester's going, of course, since he's familiar with
Issuya. And Kix because he's the medic. Cody and Rex are hoping you'll both go,
one with each team." Kaver saw both men nod. "So there's only one more man to
choose for each team."
Boil heard Numa's angry breath and he turned to look at her. Perhaps Waxer
could only see the child; the five year old Twi'lek girl he had found years
ago. Boil could see the woman emerging. She was tall, almost as tall as the
men. Lean, with taut muscles, her lekku draping to the small of her back. Sleek
and silent were two words that came to mind. She'd been playing the scout's
seek with the men, marking most of them several times. She was also graceful,
patient, perhaps even deadly. He hoped she never had to find out. He'd protect
her from that if he could.
"What if you do not come home, Waxer. I will be devastated." She spoke sharply
at Waxer's words, the blind assumption that, of course, her nerra would go.
They would go and she loved them for their protectiveness, but it was the
careless arrogance of Cody and Rex that angered her.
"We would be glad that a part of our family," Waxer smiled and turned to face
her, "the best part of our family survives."
Kaver watched, his lips slightly open in surprise at her anger. He thought
family never fought, never got angry, never argued.
There was refusal in her face, firmness in her chin, and both Waxer and Boil
saw it. Boil spoke.
"Numa, what if only one of us comes home?" His words were soft and her brown
eyes, so like most of the clones, shot wide. Her anger melted. Her nerra were
partners since before she'd known them; if only one came home, he would be
devastated. He would need her.
"I will wait," she whispered, pushing her anger aside. She hugged Boil hard
around the waist. "I will keep watch here for you. And you will both come
home." She added firmly as she hugged Waxer.
===============================================================================
 
                                  Volunteers
Jesse volunteered but Kix shook his head.
"You could probably make it, Jesse, but I've taken a lot of blood out of both
you and Rex to inoculate all the men. You're not going and that's a medic's
call." He glanced at Saria from the corner of his eyes and saw her agreement.
Jesse bowed his head with an ugly grimace. It would have been his first chance
to pay Elarlu, but he understood. Kix had taken slightly more blood from him
and Rex than usual to make sure all the men were sufficiently inoculated. He
glanced around the front yard. Sula was at the door of the house while Saria
sat on the front porch. Aureki could be seen through the window but she had
nothing to say.
Rex and Echo were staying with Barin. Even now, they were all three in the
branches of the big tree in front of the house, Barin climbing from branch to
branch. Saria had look at him and had told both men Barin probably wasn't
infected, but neither Rex nor Echo were going to chance leaving him. Rex
wouldn't even been considered after Kix had vetoed Jesse and for the same
reason.
Chopper and Sketch were in the tree also, Sketch had climbed to the lowest
branch by the strength of his arms. He obviously couldn't make the run into
Issuya. Dare, also, wouldn't make it. Saria had looked at him and promised him
she'd replace the metal wire on his jaws with flexibands in three days but he
no longer had the muscle or endurance for the run. He was sitting five meters
from Sula with his back to the wall of the house and his eyes closed, as near
to her as the quarantine would allow. Saria also had vetoed the men who'd been
wounded in prison as well as the men who'd been ill; Kayl, Kaver, Riposte,
Djinn, Riven, Shy.
The scouts had returned with Kaver. Boil told everyone the younglings would
stay on the edge of the desert for several more days – until the main camp of
men were no longer contagious. But the scouts had asked for one of their
brothers to check on them each day. Edge had nodded, as had Djinn and Chopper.
"I will go," said Cody.
"Let them decide who goes," said Rex as he gestured to Jester and the other men
preparing for Issuya.
"Not Cody. Fives," murmured Kix. Then he spoke a bit louder, making his opinion
known. He didn't want Cody leading them. He wanted Fives. He was ARC and could
even pass for a scruffy civilian with his long hair. This was not an army
maneuver, not a large group requiring command overview of long-term objectives,
but a small squad assignment of infiltration.
Fives turned to Sula. "May I go, wife?"
She reached out her hand as if to touch him and Fives, smiling, shut his eyes.
Suddenly her face was all passion. The distantly kind woman who had listened to
their tales of horror from war and prison; who had made them feel safe and
acknowledged their human actions overriding orders and programming, was gone.
In her place stood a woman so vividly alive the air seemed to crackle around
her.
"You will come home," she said, her voice shaking with emotion as she lowered
her hand.
"I wouldn't dare do otherwise." Fives answered softly with a rakish grin. He
made a gesture with his hands, touching his chest with the fingers of one hand
then laying that hand on the palm of his other as if presenting her with his
heart.
"Anyone else?" asked Cody. He'd been vetoed and accepted that.
"I'll go." It was Backup but Checkout made a noise.
"There's no flyers, no use for a pilot on this assignment." Checkout's voice
was angry as he mutterlingly mimicked Backup's words from when Suu had left the
cooking to them.
"No," stated Jester to Backup in a clear voice that carried among them. "We'll
need someone we can trust to pick up the slack." He looked into Backup's
surprised eyes. "And that isn't you."
"I'll volunteer," Quad stepped forward. "I .. "
"Quad's good," called Chopper from the tree. "I'd partner him anytime."
Boil nodded. Quad had been a good addition to the outer ring camp; protective
of both Numa and Shaeeah, willing to do whatever was need around camp and a
decent fighter in the sparring. He'd spent a lot of time with Jester, Jek and
Shaeeah in seeding the fields to help with the farm and Boil saw Jester nod.
"He can come," said Boil.
===============================================================================
                              Infiltrating Issuya
They reached the outskirts of Issuya before midnight. They had to avoid two
groups of drifters; one group large, loud, noisy and belligerent, thinking
there was safety in numbers. The other group smaller, quieter, hunting,
scavenging but too large to be silent like six clone troopers.
They avoided the road as well as farms and farmers who might take pot shots at
them. Jester, familiar with the area, led them; his armor modified and painted
navy blue and a rust red almost invisible in the twilight. Boil wore his breast
and thigh plates, hurriedly painted a smudged grey. He brought up the rear and,
like Jester, had a blaster in his hand. Kix, Fives, Waxer and Quad were in
second-hand clothes and boots that Suu had brought from Issuya little over a
ten-day ago.
At Issuya they saw only the major route into the city was covered. Kix shook
his head. "What a waste," he muttered. "Who is under quarantine? There are sick
people inside Issuya and sick outside. This isn't any type of protocol. It's
just movement to make people think something is being done."
Jester waved him over, toward a residential area of town. They skirted the
edges of large residences. There was a noticeable lack of human sound and
movement. Jester stopped them at a small park nudged in between an artificial
lake and a small pathway leading into the city.
"A little rest, drink up, check your packs." He said, loosening the straps of
his pack and taking some water. He glanced at his chron and nodded. They were
ahead of schedule, making good time.
Each man had a small pack containing water, a couple of packs of fluid
replacement and, most importantly, tubules of blood and needles sufficient for
the inoculation. Kix had given them instructions: attach needle, insert and try
to hit a vein.
Quickly, they reviewed the plan in brief. Fives, Quad and Boil were going
directly to Saria's apartment. Once at the apartment, they would tend to Cut
the best they could. Jester, Waxer and Kix were going to take a detour to
Saria's office which they hoped, hadn't been ransacked beyond usefulness. Saria
told them there was a litter with a small anti-grav unit they could use to
bring Cut back to the farm where they'd all be going directly to Jester's.
They'd all had an infusion of Rex's blood, but coming out of Issuya they'd be
contagious. Suu had the house, still not ill after such a long exposure and
Saria had commented she might have Kix use Suu's blood to make a vaccine for
them. None of them begrudged Suu the house and the beds; she had volunteered to
keep them fed.
"You know the way?" Jester quickly double-checked with Fives, Jesse and Boil.
Issuya wasn't large, but they'd never been there and, from Sinker's reports,
there would be several gangs on their way. Their basic plan was avoidance of
anyone. The three men affirmed their route.
Jester glanced at Kix and Waxer. "Got the route?" Kix nodded and Waxer tapped
his head. In case something happened to Jester. He hoped not, they'd have
problems getting into Saria's office.
Fives pushed the water bottle back into his pack and tightened the straps. He
gestured to Boil and Quad who were making sure their packs were secure. Quad
had tucked his pack inside his shirt, next to his skin. "Less noticeable," he
had muttered. "It won't get lost if the straps break."
Fives grinned at Jester. "See you at the apartment," he said quietly then loped
off with Boil and Quad. Boil, in his darkened armor, helmetless, taking the
lead after a quick grasp of Waxer's forearm and a silent promise to return.
===============================================================================
                              Jester, Kix, Waxer
Jester saw the long line of guards. It was mostly Twi'leks who lived in this
sector of town and it was mostly Twi'leks in the line, at least one guard in
every corner. He wondered if the entire city center was surrounded by guards.
Their weapons were small blasters and hunting rifles; the kind of weapons
common in a household. He thumbed his chin thoughtfully, taking in the
implications. This wasn't proscribed by authority, this was citizen action. Mob
rule. He sighed sadly. Anarchy in action was an ugly sight.
"Waxer, Kix. Ideas on getting across the line?" He caught Kix's eyes and
realized he also had the same idea, simply speed and brute force; calculating
how much damage they could take, what losses they could afford to take by
simply trying to run the line. Whoever went first would probably make it on
surprise alone. Jester would probably make it; he was wearing his motley
painted armor and no one had a military blaster, simply the less effective
civilian weapons. He would volunteer to go last. It looked both possible and
probable for all three of them to make it; the buildings closed in quickly
beyond the stretched line of guards, shadows stretching from the buildings.
Three men running into a cordoned area … probably no one would follow.
He heard Waxer's chuckle before he looked at him. "Sounds like Waxer has an
idea."
"Numa's idea actually," came Waxer's voice. Jester and Kix turned. Waxer was
looking down at his feet, standing on a drainage cover.
The drainways were small and deserted; slime covered the rounded walls, water
puddled at their feet, but the recent rains had cleared out the drains. They
had to bend, just a little, in the walkways. And yet, there were biolums dimly
lighting the walking ledge and they found corner markers detailing crossroad
names. Jester laughed.
"We should be able to make the entire trek to the office underground." He said,
leading the way at a slow lope. "Maybe even to the apartment."
===============================================================================
                               Fives, Boil, Quad
The first thing Boil noted were the carrion eaters then he noticed the bodies.
Not many. Not yet. They were in a residential area, quickly moving past homes
and the only movement had been the small, knee-high creatures moving like worms
on human-sized bundles. Boil wished he had his helmet.
"Don't mess with the bodies," he warned. "If the scavengers don't attack you,
the stench will." He'd never worked with either Fives or Quad, didn't know what
training or experience they had. Fives was ARC and that meant he was good;
capable. Quad had been quiet and competent back in camp. Still, he'd never
worked with them in a squad.
They moved quickly, avoiding a group of scavengers tearing at a larger pile of
bodies stacked at a crossroad. There were few sounds other than the growling
and fighting of animals. Only once did they see another human; a Wroonian, his
blue skin rendering him almost invisible in the twilight night. But they caught
the metallic gleam of a weapon as the man stood guard near a large house.
A man, like them, protecting his own.
"I'll cover," said Boil, taking the side of the street with the Wroonian. With
his armor he was slightly better protected, but the Wroonian wasn't interested
in starting anything and, as they passed him, he relaxed and shifted closer to
the wall of the house becoming invisible in the darkness and shadow.
They moved from the residential area towards the city proper, the centralized
bureaucratic and services area of Issuya. Ahead of them they could hear noises;
of civilization, if you called it that. The three men slowed, furtively moving
in nearer the walls where the shadows prevailed. Party noises, drunken revelry,
live bodies and a large bonfire in a park met their senses.
"No discipline," scoffed Boil.
Fives shrugged. "There's a good chance most of them will be dead in a week.
Discipline means nothing under those conditions. Shall we go around them?"
Quad glanced at the mixed group of Wroonian, Twi'lek and human; some lolling
around drinking, some dancing hypnotically around the fire and some, usually
couples, sometimes more, writhing on the soft, manicured lawn. "Around," he
agreed.
"Going around might be a little more difficult." Boil tapped Fives on the arm
and gestured to a line of people, obviously on some type of guard duty. They
were armed and located down two streets radiating from the park in opposite
directions, appearantly at the corner of each intersection. "Unless we go out
of our way – and no telling how far – we're going to have to cross their line."
Fives nodded. "Let's go one klick parallel and check how diligence they are."
They were diligent, though here the guards did not rove. They were present at
the corner of each block, most of them easily in sight of another guard, more
often two.
The troopers drew back and made their plans. They'd found a curve where, if
they could incapacitate two guards, they could cross the perimeter without
being seen by any other guards.
"Not her," said Boil. "Look at her, she's alert." Fives and Quad glanced at the
woman near the middle of the curving road. She stood, her hand on the blaster
at her hips, her weight equally balanced on foot. Occasionally, her head moved
as she heard some noise or glanced up and down the street to the next guard.
Their attention was towards the center of town. Fives smiled. They'd be able to
walk up to the two very easily. Still, he didn't want any shout or call of
alarm.
"Him?" asked Quad, pointing to the next guard in the line. He was leaning
against the wall of a building, the rifle cradled in his arms. The space near
the wall was dark; hidden in the shadow of an awning and he might merely have
been hiding. Except his head was bowed and his legs were crossed at the ankle.
"Oh, yes," Fives grinned wolfishly. "Him."
Fives moved drunkenly between two guards, closer to the man and out of sight of
any guards beyond the woman. He wasn't trying to be secretive about it. The man
lazily uncrossed his ankles and stood then moved toward him from his post.
Pressed against the wall at the intersection behind Fives were Quad and Boil.
"Stop," ordered the guard as he closed with Fives.
"Wha' fur'" growl Fives in a drunken slur. "We're all just walking dead." He
swung his arm out in a grand gesture, almost touching the guard's blaster.
"See. Just krf'n dead." Fives stopped, his attention diverted by the woman
making her way towards them. She was Wroonian, blue and almost invisible in the
twilight of Saleucami darkness. Boil had been right. She was more alert than
the man.
They were spread thin and they were covering each other. Her slot would not be
covered while she was helping the next guard in line. They thought him
outnumbered, outgunned. But he had gauged it so that no other guard could see
what was happening. The guard beyond her would be shifting to cover her post,
but he wouldn't be able to see what was happening until he came around the
curve; maybe a hundred heartbeats. The others were within ear shot, of course,
but Fives didn't intend any noise escape either guard. It would be just a few
moments, just a small line of invisibility from the others.
Drunkenly, he swayed in time to her movement as she walked toward him, his
mouth open. She was beautiful and knew it, used it, so he could stare, she was
encouraging that. She meant it as a distraction. He put one hand clumsily on
the guard's shoulder, turning him so his back was to the intersection, to Quad
and Boil. The guard let him do it, not a professional.
"I don' wanna die 'til I do her," Fives whispered loudly. "She's not your
girlfriend, isshe?"
The guard pushed him away with a disgusted noise but didn't check behind him.
Fives staggered forward, let himself trip, let himself end up on the ground at
her feet. He opened his arms. "Sweetheart. Where you been all my life?" He
staggered to his knees, his arms around her legs. Nope, not professional. A
professional wouldn't have let him touch her.
"What's the matter, Tandril?" The woman asked.
"The drunk wants to go inner city."
Fives smiled, their attention was on him.
She looked at him, belatedly kicking aside his arms.
"Darlin', I'm hurt. That was my heart you just kicked." Fives stayed on his
knees. "I jus wanna go home…" he begged her, sitting back clumsily. She sighed,
obviously having dealt with a lot of this over the past four days. He leaned
forward, using her legs to climb to his feet, she even extended her hand to
help him up. Not professional. Strong. Confident. Possibly even trained in some
martial art or another. But not professional at all.
"You can't, there's plague in the city." So, she was some part of an unofficial
quarantine effort. "We're going to burn them out. Purify it and in a couple of
days, it will all be over. You can go home then."
"Burn who out," he asked. For information he would waste precious seconds. Quad
was moving, behind the other guard and within an arm's reach.
"The kriffing migrants.
"Sweetheart," she suddenly noticed he was sober and his hard hands were on her
shoulders, his thumbs on her neck. Her eyes widened in fear and she opened her
mouth even as her hands reached for her blaster. "There's sickness everywhere,
not just in the town center. Would you burn the whole world?"
Fives took her down, pressing quickly on her carotids, then releasing them
after mere seconds. He really didn't want to kill her and hoped he hadn't. He
even took a moment to hope she survived this mess. She was just scared, someone
who needed to go home.
He heard the muffled sound of the man hitting the ground. "Take his blaster,
Quad. I'll take hers." He waved the armored Boil through, glancing both ways on
the street. They were out of view for another twenty heartbeats.
Good news. If they were intent on burning out the disease, then they probably
wouldn't give chase. Bad news. They were intent on burning out the town center.
The crossed the road into the shadows and were almost two blocks in before they
heard the shout of alarm.
They kept moving; Boil in the lead in his darkened armor with the deece, then
Quad, with Fives bringing up the rear, both with the blasters they'd taken from
the guards.
Fives grinned ferociously. He loved his wives and baby girl. He loved his
brothers. But this was what he'd been bred and trained for and there was
nothing else like it.
===============================================================================
                                    Waiting
Sinker gently touched Cut's throat where a thin pulse still, improbably,
tickled his fingers. Gently, he pulled the covers up on Cut's chest. Cut's
breathing was so shallow, so imperceptible, there was no movement. He daubed a
few drops of nutrient-enhanced liquid onto Cut's dry lips then checked his
hand. The bite had become infected but there'd been plenty of medical supplies
in one of the closets. Cut had laughed while pulling out some bacta and
bandage. "She's a surgical nurse," he'd said.
Sinker had been so glad of the supplies when Cut had fallen into a coma. He'd
been scared to use things he couldn't read, but he remembered bottle types and
smells and textures. When Cut had begun coughing, he's gone over the supplies,
reading the labels for Sinker.
She, whoever she was, had a neat and methodical mind.
Sinker wasn't about to give up on Cut. He'd been awake for the past two days,
napping lightly on the chair by his bed.
After his escape from prison he'd realized he couldn't read anymore; not just
words, but numbers, money, and maps. The beating had damaged his brain and he
wondered how badly it had damaged him. The bruises had gone away, but the fear
remained. He'd never been scared as a trooper.
Somehow, they'd known he couldn't understand when he sold his armor. He'd
realized then that he'd need someone and he had cried for the fact that there
was no one. He cried for Boost and Comet, long dead, and for Wolffe, dying
incrementally as he led stormtroopers in the Imperial Army. Then Sinker had
cried realizing that emotions could be so strong. Not just emotions from a
moment of life and death on the battlefield, but simple emotions like
loneliness and the quiet fear of losing some other part of himself.
He'd been scavenging food for most of the time since his escape. There'd been a
few kind people – a young boy who had shared a packed lunch, a restaurateur who
had served him from the back of the eatery, a woman baking some treats for
children who'd seen him watching her with hunger on his face. She hadn't
realized it was a far different hunger, a hunger for acceptance; but the
cookies had been delicious. Far too often, though, there'd been wariness,
outright threats, thrown stones, and Sinker had moved on. He'd been chased into
the docks and they intended to kill him so he'd chanced stowing away on a ship.
The captain had found him in the cargo hold, shivering from the cold. The hard-
eyed man had dumped him on their next port of call, Saleucami, and Sinker,
knowing the penalties, knowing what he could have done, thanked him.
Then he'd stolen into the warehouse here on Saleucami.
Sinker sat back in the chair, the blaster at his hip. He'd taken to wearing it
in the apartment since a gang had busted into the building next door. There'd
been fighting and the next day Sinker had seen bodies removed by other
residents. The gang had only stayed a single night, grabbing valuables for a
tenuous future that might not exist and grabbing food for the now and wrecking
whatever they deemed useless. He'd heard screaming and wondered how a human
being could be deemed useless. He'd thought about confronting them, about
sniping through the window or as they moved back onto the street. He had
discarded the idea. Cut had lapsed into a coma by then. He'd do Cut no good by
getting himself wounded or killed.
He had found good food at the warehouse; tightly packed, still cool from the
conservator, and simply tossed out into the trash of the alley. He'd been
hungry and his belly had reveled in the salad of bith beans, lettuce, spinach
and peppers with cut muja. That salad had enticed him to try the warehouse in
the dark of the night. He had climbed through a grain hopper, and he'd found
more food. After the second night he had cleaned the office. After the third
night he realized that someone was actually cutting the food into halves. That
had scared him off for a day and when hunger had returned him, he'd seen the
night guard leaning his chair against a wall, snoring. After two more nights
he'd found the flimsi with the food; neatly folded and partially tucked under a
biscuit. He had cried in frustration to see that piece of communication;
knowing it was meant for him and not able to understand it.
Outside he heard noise and stood, glancing out the darkened windows. He didn't
turn on the light except in Cut's room and those windows he had darkened.
Movement scurried past the yard below him and Sinker ran his fingers lightly
over the barrel of the blaster. They didn't move right to be his brothers.
Sinker sighed, moved back to his seat. He leaned forward and dropped a little
more liquid on Cut's lips.
"Stay. 'Live," he whispered. "Vod. Come."
The warehouse. Slipping in under the cover of darkness, silently moving into
the office where he'd found food before. Then hearing Cut's voice, a brother's
voice, greeting him had frightened him even more. He hadn't told Cut how close
he'd been to pulling the trigger that night, hadn't told him how startled he
was. He suspected Cut knew. And dinner – dinner made for him, still hot – steak
and gravy and beans and blue milk, food to take with him for the next day and a
job. They'd taken him home; well, to someone's home with a hot shower and
clothes and companions and caf the next morning. He now knew those to be riches
beyond price.
In the first few days of quarantine, Cut had shown him how to cook a few things
as he talked of the brothers at the farm, the work that needed to be done. He
talked of family; the children; his own as well as the son of Rex and the Jedi
he'd married and Five's two Zeltron wives and their tiny child.
Then the coughing began. The shivers and the heat from the infected hand
followed. Last night he had pulled out the comm unit and stared at it. He had
flicked it on. Suu had spoken with Cut every night since she'd left until Cut
fell into a coma. She'd always had a few words for Sinker.
Suu had answered with a sharp intake of breath. "Sinker. Please don't tell me…"
"No," he interjected. "Still. Coma." He'd spoken and heard her choked sob in
reply.
"Soon, Sinker. They'll be there soon." Her voice was soft, more a prayer than
anything else.
He pulled on his lower lip with his teeth. "Lone. Ly. Talk. Please. Cut. Me."
Then he had put the comm next to Cut's head on the pillow and sat cross-legged
on the floor, his own head on the other side of the comm; listening to her
words of love and comfort. Suu spoke a long time; giving him words of hope,
news of his brothers, of the younglings. Sinker closed his eyes. He so badly
wanted to see the children, wanted to learn this game of chase everyone played
in the afternoon. He actually wanted to hold an infant in his arms, wanted to
ride an eopie, to help on the farm. He wanted to greet his brothers, to thank
Boil for what he'd done.
There was a pounding on the outer door of the building; a fast, hard double-
pound, then silence. Sinker moved toward the patio door and looked out. He saw
movement and pulled the blaster into his hand without thought while opening the
door with his other. His brothers had arrived. He recognized Quad and Boil.
Quad was the first to climb the patio. A shaggy-haired brother – Fives from the
description Cut have given – had bent and given Quad a push up while Sinker had
reached down his arm to help him over the railing.
"Guard," Quad had said, as he bent down to reach for Fives who quickly
clambered up. He gave Sinker a quick nod and pulled his own blaster; both men
covering as Boil climbed the patio with help from Quad. Sinker led them into
Cut's room, wondering if Cut had died in only the last few moments he'd been
helping his brothers into the apartment. The thin, thread pulse still murmured
against his fingers.
Quad hadn't even waited for confirmation he was alive, but was reaching into
his pack even as Fives did the same. Boil was at the patio door, looking out.
His face no different from the hard, stern expression he'd always had as he
walked the prison perimeter.
"We were noticed the last few blocks." He glanced at Sinker. "They gave chase
and we had to lead them away then double back here to the apartment. Are they
likely to find us?"
Sinker thought. If they'd given chase it was probably the gang he had dubbed
Wild. They didn't think; they rampaged, they destroyed and could barely keep
the same members each night. Sinker shook his head as he held up two fingers.
"Wild." He bit off the words as he touched one finger. "No. rules." Then he
touched his other finger. "S..smard. Wait. Hunt."
Boil nodded thoughtfully and reached for his pack. "There's an inoculation in
here for you. Quad or Fives can do it. I'll stay on the patio watching." Sinker
took the pack from his outreached hand and took another step that put him
closer to his ex-guard.
"Dank. Ou. Boil." He flicked his fingers in an outward, moving gesture.
"Ssscape."
Boil regarded him with red-brown eyes. "They really messed you up." He glanced
into the darkness. "I'm sorry I didn't get you out sooner."
Sinker put a hand on Boil's shoulder and shook his head with a smile. "Out.
Ffree."
Fives came out to the patio shaking his head. Sinker watched, fascinated, as
his long hair moved in waves. He'd never seen a brother with hair like that and
he reached out hesitantly to touch it. Fives grinned and leaned forward,
letting his brother's fingers run through it.
"Dif. Rent," muttered Sinker then he moved his hand away and reached up to his
own short-cut hair. "May. Do."
"Think about it while you sleep, Sinker." Fives touched his own blaster, not a
deece but something civilian. "We'll guard; wait here for the others. Watch
Cut." He reached for the pack and put a hand on Sinker's arm. "Come on. I'll
give you the inoculation."
Sinker nodded, letting himself be led into the other bedroom. He gestured to a
small pile of miscellanea on the floor then toward the cabinet where there were
more medical supplies. "Think. Use. Full."
Fives nodded. "We'll go through them and pack up when the others arrive. We'll
have to see how much they have also."
Sinker sat on the bed and rubbed his face with his hand. "Tired." He glanced up
to Fives and hoped he wouldn't see disgust in those brown eyes. "A. Fraid."
Fives rubbed his shoulder and pushed him back onto the bed. He reached into the
pack for the vial and needle.
"Civilian life is very different, more uncertain, than being a trooper." He
snapped the needle onto the vial then stroked the inside of Sinker's elbow.
"There are so many more choices and so many more possibilities of things that
can go wrong. You'd be a fool not to be afraid."
Fives looked into Sinker's face. "But there is so much more to gain; so many
more rewards." He withdrew the needle and the empty vial. "You're with family
now, Sinker."
Sinker smiled, rubbed his inner arm then shut his eyes and dreamed.
===============================================================================
                                  Waiting II
Quad snapped the empty vial off the needle then fixed the second vial onto it
and pressed Rex and Jesse's blood into Cut. A moment and it was done. He
slipped the needle out of Cut's vein and set it aside.
"How's he doing, Quad?" Fives was in the doorway.
Quad shook his head. "I don't know. I'd say not good; but Sinker's kept him
alive this long. Kix said that Djinn and Riven got better overnight. So there's
hope, isn't there?"
Fives nodded. "I think so. Boil and I will keep watch for the others if you'll
watch over Cut."
Quad nodded. "I'd consider it a privilege."
Fives moved out of the room gently closing the door partway. "Call out if you
need anything."
Quad picked up Cut's hand. "Hey, Cut. We're here. We'll be taking you home
shortly." He spoke softly to the unconscious man. "Suu is really worried about
you." He shifted in the chair, getting more comfortable. "I've been out
planting wheat with Jek and Jester and Shaeeah. All the fields have been
planted and look good. At least Suu says so. She asked us to start what she
calls an intensive field. She's thinking of a nysilum crop but wants to confer
with you. Us troopers, we just dig." He rubbed his thumb over Cut's knuckles.
There were scars there, old ones. "I see you've done a bit of one-on-one." He
chuckled. "I think you could have taken Checkout and Backup. They can't cook
worth anything either. Some of us have been lucky. Shaeeah cooks for me and
Chopper. She misses you, Cut. Your whole family is scared you won't come home."
Quad felt a lumpy knot deep in his throat. "That includes a lot of us brothers.
You'd better come home, Cut." Quad reached for the liquid drops and squeezed a
few on Cut's lips. There was no reaction from Cut and the drops simply soaked
into his dry skin. "We'd take care of them, Cut. You know we would, but it
wouldn't be the same. Jek is walking around as pale as a ghost half the time.
Suu looks about to cry at a word from anyone and Shaeeah…" Quad was quiet.
Quad no longer had to look for Shaeeah. It seemed as though his eyes were drawn
to her no matter where she was. It seemed that she was in every conversation he
had. It was not as though either of them followed the other around camp; simply
that camp was too small for them to be apart. Until Cut had been infected, Quad
and Shaeeah had talked and laughed; sometimes alone, more often with other
brothers or while playing the games in the early evening. Often at dinner, Quad
joined her and Chopper or she joined him with Boil, Waxer and Numa. She and
Numa had shown the men of scout's camp how to cook skewers of meat and
vegetables.
She had invited him to the thermal pool. No one else would be there, she told
him and he knew that was true. It was the women's hour but that was now only
Shaeeah and Numa; and Numa had gone to the caldera with Waxer and Boil.
They were quiet as they walked, but after some time, Shaeeah moved next to him
and took his hand in hers. He smiled and gave her hand a squeeze.
"That makes it harder, you know." He said.
"Harder to do what?" she asked with a tilt of her head.
"Harder to do everything. Harder to walk fast, or to walk quietly."
"I don't think we need to walk quiet today." She answered. "Though I am trying
to learn. Have you heard Numa walk?"
"No," he replied with a slightly embarrassed grin. "If I had, she wouldn't have
marked me in scout's seek. She's quiet. But she's been trained by a scout for
what? Six years?"
"Eight years." Shaeeah sighed. "I'll never be that quiet."
"Probably not." He agreed. "But I'm sure you have skills she doesn't."
"Flirting." Shaeeah said with a laugh. She looked at him, admiring his dark
hair and his earnest, brown eyes. Suddenly she was solemn. "This isn't
flirting. You know that, don't you."
"I'm not sure." He answered. "I wasn't sure. It seemed not, but I don't have
any experience."
She stopped, pulling him to a stop as well. "Flirting is," her face twisted up
and her brows furrowed as she tried to define the difference between flirting
and love. She failed. "This isn't flirting." She said again.
"That's good." He nodded thoughtfully.
"Why?" She pulled at his hand, walking along the path, and he followed.
He smiled at her. "I would hate to think that something as simple as flirting
could make me forget my way in the woods."
"What?"
He shrugged. "As often as I've been down here with others, I have to admit that
I don't recognize that tree. And that rock looks totally unfamiliar."
"You're lost?" Shaeeah's eyes grew wide. "My father said a trooper couldn't get
lost."
"If he's paying attention. My attention has been on you," he shyly admitted. "I
may be lost on this familiar path, but I will never forget the way your hand
feels in mine right now."
Shaeeah smiled and they continued walking to the pool.
He was slightly nervous as he removed his clothing. He'd been thinking about
Shaeeah and him in the warm waters and little brother had reacted to those
thoughts. He was nervous about showing her his entire body. He had lines of
burn scar on one leg. She'd never seen that and migh ... then again, she often
slept next to Chopper. Quietly he eased himself in the hot water then turned
toward Shaeeah as she stood on one of the warm boulders setting her clothes
into a neat pile. He gulped hard and watched as she gracefully turned toward
him, toward the water, and dove in. She was beautiful, sleek, lithe. He groaned
and little brother came to full attention.
"I thought I'd offer to wash your back." Her voice was timid as she rose from
the water in from of him holding out a bar of hard soap.
He shook his head. "It's not my back needing attention," but he reached his
hand for hers.
"Then," she glanced, smiling, into his eyes, "perhaps you could help me with
mine?"
Quad smiled at her. "Anything," he said.
He washed her back, softly kissing and nibbling her lekku at the pleasurable
area behind her ears. He soaped and washed her lekku, setting the freshly
cleaned tchin and tchun to his teeth, sucking on them, stroking them with his
hands to her soft moans. They moved of their own volition; she had told him it
was a way Twi'leks could speak with each other.
He looked at the lekku in his hand and quickly wrapped it once around his
little brother. She gasped, her lekku tightened around him, then softly
loosened. He groaned at the pleasure and his head dipped onto her shoulder, his
hand around her waist for support. He pulled both lekku around his little
brother, one in each direction, and almost came at the combination of their
tightness and Shaeeah's whimpering moan. His breathing was harsh and warm in
her ears. She leaned back, pressing against his hardness. He pressed back, his
little brother snug against the division of her cheeks, against the small of
her back. He moved his hips and she felt him slide up and down against her
skin, between her cheeks and to the small of her back. Her lekku dropped down
to caress him. His breathing was shaky. He kissed her shoulder, both shoulders,
nibbled her lekku, caressed her breasts with his fingers. She felt hot and wet,
neither having to do with the water.
Slowly, she turned around to face him, bringing her arms around his neck. His
hands were still around her, but now they caress the silky skin of her waist
and slipped to the small of her back while little brother slid happily against
her belly. His head was still on her shoulder, whispering kisses on her neck.
Aided by buoyancy, he lifted hr and bent his head further still and slowly took
one of her breasts into his lips. Her breasts were small, perfect. He sucked
softly then released her breast from his lips. The nipple had wrinkled into a
hard nub and she shivered as she murmured her pleasure. Her other nipple was
smooth. Experimentally, he touched and then stroked the smooth nipple with his
knuckles. He smiled as she groaned and pushed herself against his hands. Her
smooth nipple wrinkled and hardened.
"Does that feel good, Shaeeah? I hope I'm doing this right, does that feel
good?
"Yes," she moaned. "That feels like.. nothing I've ever felt."
"I'm glad, Shaeeah." He murmured. "I want to please you so much." He kissed her
lips, sliding his tongue between her lips, playing with her tongue as they had
done before. His arms came around her, one hand pulling her against him, the
other hand stroking and squeezing her lekku. His rigid little brother felt good
hugged between the two of them. He moved his hips, sliding it between them, one
of her hands cupping the head of it.
Suddenly he gasped; she gasped also. He had been lifting her, pulling her up in
the water, letting buoyancy work. His little brother, hard and stiff and
throbbing, had slid between her legs. Slowly, shaking, he took a step away from
her. His voice quivered. "Onto the rocks, Shaeeah." He touched his finger to
her lips as she was about to say something. "I'll be right with you." He moved
his finger and gave her a kiss.
With his help, she climbed and sat on the boulder. She was beautiful and Quad
couldn't talk for seeing her. He put both hands to his face and rubbed.
"Please, Quad. Come sit next to me. Hold me in your arms." Her voice lowered.
"Kiss me to all distraction."
He groaned then gave her a smile. "Anything, Shaeeah. Anything."
They sat together, kissing. His hands stroked her lekku with varying strength
and she shivered, her back arching at the pleasure. Her fingers played with his
nipples and he discovered that his also wrinkled and tightened with pleasure.
Her fingers played with his little brother, rubbing the velvet skin, stroking
his shaft as he pushed little brother against her hand.
He had growled deep in his throat. "Shaeeah, I will come." She stopped and he
looked at her quizzically. She had liked his coming before.
He shook, afraid that she no longer wanted him. Then he closed his eyes in a
fearful resignation. He'd fallen in love. This was no longer curiosity, if it
had ever been simply that. This was beyond liking Shaeeah, beyond enjoying her
company, beyond the pleasure they provided each other. This was love and it was
torture.
"Are you ok, Quad. I just want to try something a little different. Her hand
touched him, lightly brushing his arm.
He smiled, for her. "Anything, Shaeeah. Tell me."
"I want you to play with me," her face was shy and scared. She slowly pulled
his fingers to her private place.
"I'll try, my love, but it will all be new to me."
"You were the first man I ever saw little brother. You were the first man I
touched. It was all new to me." She smiled even as she bit her lower lip in
nervousness.
"You pleased me beyond what I had ever imagined." He said with a smile. "I hope
I can do as well."
He softly placed the palm of his hand at the junction of her legs. She was
smooth and had a cleft instead of a penis. Delicately, he manipulated his
fingers into that cleft. Once, his fingers touched something and her hips
jerked, but she couldn't explain. Then his fingers found moisture and he
brought his fingers out in case he was injuring her. The moisture was clear and
he touched his tongue to his fingers. There wasn't much taste, but it was warm
and reminiscent of her.
He gently slid his fingers back into her cleft, searching for the moisture.
"That feels good," she moaned softly, her hips writhing slightly against his
hand, and that brought his little brother back to attention. His fingers found
an opening, small but wet. He lay down bethween her thighs, using both hands to
gently open the flesh of her cleft so he could see. There was an opening,
glistening slick and wet and he knew this was where little brother would go.
Little brother throbbed in anticipation and Quad's mouth was suddenly dry. It
seemed so small an opening. He knew he would not fit.
The surrounding of her opening was a beautiful pink and there was a small nub
of flesh a knuckle's distance above that opening.
Quad touched the small nub with his finger. Shaeeah's hips jerked up and she
gasped.
"I'm sorry, Shaeeah. I didn't mean to hurt…"
"I know, Quad. But it was," she frowned, "too much. That needs to be touched
much lighter."
"I won't touch it again, Shaeeah." Quad shook his head, one big hand stroking
her inner thigh.
"No, Quad, I want you to explore, just more gentle, with less… friction. Like
when you told me it was better to hold you tighter." Her words were slow as she
thought about his touch. She saw him smile.
"With my tongue, Shaeeah? Like your tongue on little brother?"
She bit her lip and nodded slowly. Quad moved, once again between her legs.
Little brother objected to being flat against the stone, so Quad slide himself
toward the edge of the boulder where he would be in the water, lifting and
bringing her with him. She squealed and grabbed him at the unexpected movement.
If felt so good, he hugged her tightly to him, kissing her lips, kissing her
breasts, kissing her lean belly. He slid into the warm water, letting his
tongue glide down her belly then between her cleft as he set her on the edge,
her legs dangling into the pool. He grabbed one ankle and set it to her
advantage so she wouldn't slip or could push away from him if she wished. Then
he took her other leg and slid it over his shoulder. His fingers, once again,
opened the cleft. As delicately as he could, he touched his tongue to that nub.
She gasped.
"I'm sorry, love, that.." Quad was chagrinned. He'd tried to be light.
"No, Quad, that was pleasure." She purred, her eyes wide. "That was wonderful."
Her fingers combed through his hair. "Please Quad, more?" she asked and Quad
laughed. She had pleased him, had taken little brother into her hands, into her
mouth and pleasured him beyond anything he'd ever felt before. For her, he
would do anything.
Softly, he gave the nub another quick touch, staying an instant longer.
"Oh, Quad, Yes." Her voice was low and husky.
He gently pulled her closer, his tongue delicately gliding over the nub even as
his fingers explored the opening. There seemed to be more moisture at her
opening and he gave a long stroke with his tongue, picking up the moisture with
his tongue. Again, he pressed and wiggled his tongue against that nub.
She gasped and her body became tense, her breathing was quick with soft moans
and little whimpers of desire. He pressed a finger to her opening, debating.
"Yes, Quad, please yes." She begged. Gently Quad pressed his finger into the
opening. It was moist and she moaned, her soft flesh surrounding, pressed
against, his finger. He immediately decided that little brother couldn't fit,
but that was good because then there'd be no temptation. He could love her
without hurting her. They'd already found so many ways of pleasure. He wasn't
selfish enough to need them all.
His breathing was also quick and he began to slide his finger in and out. She
was wet, as he'd heard women would get when pleased. He bent his head and
touched her nub with his tongue again. Her hips began jerking.
"Please! Quad. More." That request brought a moment's quandary. More of what?
Then he remembered his own experiences with Shaeeah. It was more of everything.
He bent his head to her, licking that little nub softly and sliding his finger
in and out of her.
She tensed, tighter, then suddenly there was a release. A release of air from
her mouth in a content sigh, a release of her flesh pulling around his finger
and little brother recognized that pulsing pattern. There was a release of the
tenseness of her muscles and she relaxed, moving her body to slide into his
arms, into the water. She kissed him, licking her moisture from his mouth.
Little brother, begging to be noticed, slid between them and Quad groaned in
pleasured torture. One of Shaeeah's hands took little brother's head and
caressed it, her nimble fingers squeezing and stroking, reaching to his balls.
Shaeeah's other hand circled Quad's neck, bringing his face closer for her
kisses. Quad couldn't last and he came as she caressed and kissed him.
"Shaeeah?" He asked softly, after a while, wondering if she was still awake as
they lay together on the warm boulder.
"Yes, Quad." Her voice was soft and she gave him a kiss on his arm, where her
head was tucked.
"I love you."
"I love you, Quad. I wished I'd recognized it first."
"Has your father told you about the two things a clone has when he comes out of
Kamino?"
"His name and his promise." She said softly.
"My name is Quad. It comes from my trooper designation, CT-44-4444. A very
boring designation, but easy to remember." He laughed and she giggled. My
promise is to you, Shaeeah. Wonderful, beautiful, sweet, sexy Shaeeah, it is
the first word I spoke to you. Do you remember, Shaeeah?"
She nodded. "Anything."
Quad smiled. "That is my promise to you Shaeeah. Anything for your happiness
and joy."
Quad looked at his brother, the father of his love and the man who had raised
her.
"...and Shaeeah misses you. She hasn't laughed or smiled since we heard you
were ill. She cries herself to sleep." Quad looked down at Cut. "I've given
Shaeeah my promise, Cut. I love her and will do whatever I must for her
happiness. That means I'd better get you home."
===============================================================================
                               Departing Issuya
Several times they heard noises above them and once, only once, Jester caught
an IR glimpse of a humanoid in his HUD while they moved quickly through the
sewer channel ways. A glance at crossroad names told him they were within a
block of Saria's office. Kix listened at the grated slot connected above
ground. There was nothing. Waxer went up first after checking with a line
viewer for any nearby movement.
"Dead," he muttered then gave a grimace and corrected himself in a soft voice.
"No one around." He quickly slid the grated cover aside and pulled himself up
after another glance around. Kix followed and Jester brought up the rear. It
didn't take them twenty heartbeats to reach the back door of the building. The
first combination Jester tried didn't work but the second one did. They heard
voices as they moved toward the service lift and Jester motioned them quiet to
check. He came back with a shrug; there were people but they were busy and no
one noticeably armed.
The elevator door opened to masses of people on cots or on the floor. A woman
opened her eyes at the noise of the lift and saw them. "Water, please?" Her
voice was a cracked whisper and Kix had out a bottle even as he was evaluating
her condition.
"Looks like you pulled through," he murmured as he lifted her head and held the
water to her lips.
Waxer tapped him on the shoulder then motioned with his head toward Jester,
checking the corner. Let's go.
Kix sighed. "Here. You can keep this." He handed her the water.
"Thank you," she said softly and closed her eyes as she pulled the bottle to
her chest.
The cross corridor was also lined with low cots and people; more people than
cots. Most were still; asleep or dead. Jester gestured to a door behind a cot
holding a man.
"Follow me. Walk so we don't attract too much attention." His voice was low and
quiet.
The door opened on the first combo Jester keyed and they stepped over the man
who didn't stir. Jester moved and closed the windows then turned to an inner
office and switched on the light. The office was untouched and Jester breathed
a sigh of relief.
"Here's the supplies, Kix." Jester moved as the medic began filling his pack
with packets and pouches.
"Give me your packs." Kix reached out a hand. "I'll divide it evenly, but we
won't be loaded down. It looks like Saria took most of the serious stuff with
her." He flipped some syringe tubes and needles into a pack. Fingered a small
bottle marked 'Prenatal Vitamins' and dropped it into the pack then added
several more.
"I found the stretcher," remarked Waxer holding the compact carry bag then
thrusting it into his pack. "But where's the anti-grav unit."
"Here." Jester grunted as he pulled the heavy unit onto the desk. Kix reached
over and flicked the self-carry switch. Jester blushed with an embarrassed
half-grin while Waxer changed his chuckle into a cough.
They were out of the building quietly. Kix looked around at the people
sleeping; the ill, the dying and shook his head then followed his brothers.
Listening for sound other than their own running steps, they moved swiftly in
the dark. There were lights in some of the houses, but very few curtains were
drawn back in curiosity.
They were making good progress until they heard noise and Waxer motioned them
down into silence. The noise was anger and shouting; hate and destruction.
Waxer in the lead, they followed then watched as a group of mostly men pushed
forward two prisoners; human younglings with their hands tied. There was
already a half-naked body on the ground; battered, dark with bruises and
stripped of whatever someone had deemed useful.
"I'm sorry, Jester. I can't watch this happen." Waxer said as he checked his
blaster. "It looks like they don't know it yet, but when they strip the taller
one they'll find out she's female. And they'll rape her first. Then slitting
her throat will be a mercy." His eyes glittered in the darkness. His expression
told them he'd seen this before. "It didn't happen to Numa. But it could have."
Kix sighed as he checked the civilian blaster. "Me neither."
Jester nodded as he handed Waxer his military blaster and took the civilian one
in its stead. "I'll grab them, I'm armored and it doesn't look like their
weapons are heavy duty enough to penetrate the armor first blast. You can
scatter them for a few moments. If the younglings don't struggle too hard I
should be able to get them to you for cutting their bindings." He handed the
vibroknife to Kix. "They should figure out to start running and not stop."
"We'll cover you and you'll have surprise, but that many." Kix shook his head.
"They might run us to ground."
"The apartment is close." Jester pointed down a street. "Three intersections;
left then right at the second intersection and down five buildings. By the time
we get there someone should be covering us from the patio."
He took several deep breathes in preparation for a hard sprint as Kix and Waxer
vanished into the darkness, making their way to the other side of the fire and
the gang intent upon carnage.
Jester was waiting for their signal and it came as the loud, vibrato screech of
a gundark. Under his helmet Jester grinned as the entire camp jerked towards
that screech. Jester was fast and had already picked his path. No one realized
what was happening until Jester was within arms' reach of the two youngling.
"Hey!" yelled a voice, one of the men holding the girl but Jester's vambrace
caught him in the throat at speed and he went down. Jester bent slightly as he
ran, catching the girl in the gut with his shoulder, grabbing onto her rear end
and legs as she started to slide over his back. He felt, rather than heard, her
grunt as he knocked the air out of her. Other men started yelling. Still, those
in front were more concerned about the screech looking into the darkness.
Jester grabbed the boy around the waist and sprinted past the group looking for
the gundark.
As Jester sprang past the men in front, Waxer and Kix covered him. There was
some blaster fire from the crowd, but most of that seemed to be aimed at where
Waxer and Kix might have made the noise.
The rapid snatch had the group in momentary confusion and Jester dropped the
boy and slung the girl in front of Kix as he started firing. The vibroknife
sliced the bindings quickly and Kix jerked the girl to her feet and pushed her
into a run.
"Go!" Kix freed the boy then ran to get ahead of the girl to lead them.
Waxer was moving, back-stepping, preparing to turn as he and Jester. The girl
was running fast; though not as fast as a trooper and glancing back at the boy
with concern. The boy lacked the long legs and was noticeably slower. Slow
enough to be caught. Waxer saw his face; frowning fearfully but determined,
knowing he was going to be caught but running as fast as he could. Waxer swept
him up in one arm and ran.
"Don't worry, we won't leave you behind," he told the boy. He passed the girl
and Kix who was pacing the girl. He spun and let the boy down waiting to cover
for Jester. The girl started slowing down.
"Don't slow," yelled Waxer to her as Kix passed him and grabbed the boy on the
run. "We've got him." Jester was in view and Waxer fired the heavy weapon
aiming behind him.
                              * * * * * * * * * *
"Where's Boil?" Fives muttered to himself as he stepped out on the patio. A
soft half-whistle caught his attention and he glanced up. Boil was on the roof,
almost invisible in the dimness. He jerked a flat palm to the side of his head.
Heard something. Then he fisted his hand and brought it down to his hip.
Blasterfire. As Fives listened, he heard it also.
"Quad, get Sinker and come out here," Fives called sufficiently loud for his
brother to hear him. He heard Quad's reply then pulled himself up another level
and onto the roof. The noise was closer and moving quickly. Then they heard the
sound of a military deece.
"Jester," said Boil and Fives nodded as he moved towards another point on the
roof. If the sound indications were correct, they'd come around the corner
several buildings down
A skinny youngling ran into view first, followed by Waxer who turned quickly at
the corner and got off a shot from the military blaster at their pursuers.
Jester was next, a child tucked under his arm. Kix came around the corner last,
followed by the flare of blaster fire so close he probably felt the heat
against the side of his face.
"Here!" Jester shouted then threw the child onto the patio. Quad caught him
then set him down.
"Wow," breathed the boy quietly.
Jester turned and knelt so abruptly his boot dug a hole into the soil. The
second youngling, wide-eyed but barely slowing, placed a foot in Jester's
netted fingers and catapulted breathlessly into Quad's waiting hands. Waxer had
slowed to cover Kix and it was Kix next to push off Jester and be grabbed by
Quad's arm.
By then, nine men pursuing were in sight and from the rooftop Boil and Fives
covered Waxer's tracks while from the edge of the patio Sinker did the same;
the military deeces of Boil and Sinker sounding heavier and lower and so much
closer to the pursuers.
"Ambush!" yelled a voice.
"Pull back," shouted another, letting Boil know who the leader was and taking
care of him.
Waxer pushed off Jester's hands, dropping the deece at his side, half-
clambering and half-pulled to the patio. By which time only five of the nine
remained and when Jester stood his ground, the swirls of his motley armor
blending into the darkness, his military blaster firing along with a civilian
one, they'd decided the prize wasn't worth the effort. Quickly they retreated
around the corner, leaving all but one of the bodies behind. That one had been
close enough to grab from around the corner.
Jester pulled himself to the patio with an assist from Fives and Quad, the
others already in the darkened apartment.
"Boil and I will lead them away if they haven't run, and relocate the bodies."
Fives grinned. "Confusion is good for the soul." Jester nodded and Fives went
over the railing followed by Boil. Jester went into the apartment pulling off
his helmet.
The two strangers were even younger than he'd originally thought and were
sitting at the table, their backs pressed to the wall. The younger one stared
at his face as he wiped the sweat with a kitchen towel and Jester remembered
his scar. He gave the boy a grin and the boy gave him a tentative smile.
He shrugged then noticed one of the smaller chef knives missing from the
kitchen rack. Cut or Sinker or one of his brothers might have moved it but
Jester didn't think so. Quad handed him a bottle of water and juice. The
corners of his lips curled up as he glanced at the girl from the corner of his
eyes and answered that question.
"How are your wrists, Jester?" Quad pulled Jester's arms parallel to the floor,
inspecting his wrists with gentle hands. The two younglings wouldn't have been
a problem, but Jester had assisted two troopers and that kind of stress could
injure a man especially if anyone had stepped wrong.
Jester flexed his fingers and moved his hands for Quad; twisting them side to
side. "Adrenaline's still pumping, but seems good."
"That was nicely done, Jester," nodded Quad, agreeing with Jester's assessment.
Jester's eyes came back to their guests. She was staring at his face also, but
then her eyes focused on Quad, standing next to him, then on Waxer. She knew
what they were. Oddly, she didn't include Sinker in that look.
"How's Cut?" he asked between gulps of water alternating with the juice.
"He still in a coma but better already. He's started to react when I give him a
few drops of nutrient. His lips move." Quad grimaced. "Kix will know for sure."
"We have to go," piped up a small voice.
"Fresher's down the hall." Jester gestured vaguely with the bottle, his
attention ostensibly on Quad.
"We have to leave," corrected the older youngling, standing with the knife
concealed at the side of her leg. Sinker and Waxer were on the couch and that
was between them and the door.
Sinker shook his head at the same time Waxer replied. "No. We will be leaving
in, what Jester, a quarter cycle?" He glanced at Jester then leaned forward.
"You can leave with us. It will give you more protection for the distance
you'll be with us."
"Would you prefer water or juice?" Quad asked.
"We'll be leaving now," reiterated the girl as she pushed the younger child
toward the door. Jester shrugged.
Sinker stood. "No," he said firmly, standing between the door and her. She
brought out the knife then, threatening Sinker with it and he moved slightly,
now at an angle to the door.
"We will be going." She glanced toward the boy and motioned to the door with
her head. "Get the door." The younger one moved toward the door but Sinker
moved quicker, grabbing the boy and tossing him onto the cushions of the couch
near Waxer. The girl rushed at him then but Sinker was faster, grabbing her
wrist and twisting her around, disarming her in the movement and capturing her
in his arm.
"Why not let them leave, Sinker?" Waxer had his hand around the boy's ankle
though the boy wasn't struggling.
"Gang," replied Sinker as he touched the dark bracelet on her wrist. "Smar. T."
He bit off the last letter, pleased that he could actually pronounce trill.
"That does make a difference," said Jester as he looked at the girl. "He's
right in that we can't let you leave now. We're not quite trusting of the
gangs. Shortly though. We'll be leaving in a short time."
"Not just yet." Fives voice came from the patio as he and Boil came in, closing
the door behind them and setting the glass refractor as dark as possible. No
one would see in.. He glanced at Sinker then Jester taking in the scenario.
"We've moved the bodies; a block over two blocks down, but the gang is
searching."
"About twenty of them." It was Boil's voice and he grabbed some water and sat
on the chair across from the couch one eyebrow raised in question at Waxer's
grip on the boy and Sinker holding the girl, a knife in one hand.
"What the news on Cut?" Fives ignored the tableau and moved toward the hall
going into the bedroom. They could hear the murmurs of voices.
"Doesn't matter. We can evade them." She had stopped struggling in Sinker's
arms.
"I'll accept that," replied Jester as he sat at the table. "In spite of how we
found you."
She didn't blush, exactly, but Sinker raised an eyebrow and Quad chuckled.
"But if you're part of a gang, you're not leaving here before we do." Jester
gave a nod at Sinker who led the girl back to the couch by her arm. "Now, back
to the original question. Water or juice."
"Juice, please." The boy sat up as Waxer eased his grip on the boy's ankle. He
continued his inspection of them as Quad handed him a bottle. Quad handed one
to the girl but she ignored his gesture so he handed it to Sinker who took it
and set it between them on the couch. She looked at it longingly.
"Are you stormtroopers?" The boy asked into the quiet.
"Dek!" the girl hissed at him and glanced around fearfully.
Jester shook his head. "No. Not anymore." He inspected his hands, rubbing the
bottle condensation from his palms. Once it had been blood staining his hands.
"Not for a long time."
"So you're not going to kill us?" The boy asked and the girl rolled her eyes.
Boil shrugged. "We'll try not to. Don't be too much of a bother."
Dek inspected him, his face scrunched up in thought then relaxed. "OK." He
offered his hand to Boil. "I won't be a bother." Boil, surprised, took it. Dek
shook the big hand once then dropped it as he finished his juice. "May I have
another, please?"
"As many as you want and whatever else is available," offered Jester and Dek
smiled and jumped up from the couch to inspect the kitchen.
"Not. Lot." Sinker shook his head then handed the knife to Jester. "Sleep." He
moved toward the back room but first went into where Cut was being seen by Kix.
In a few moments, Sinker emerged to walk down the hall to the other bedroom.
Fives came out. "I'm going to keep watch outside."
"Take my blaster, Fives" Jester handed over the military blaster. Fives took it
and was out the patio, climbing the roof.
Kix came out and sat at the table. He smiled, glancing at the younglings. "We
can go whenever we need to. Cut's stable and, according to Sinker, already
looks better than he did before Fives, Quad and Boil got here." He pulled his
lower lip in-between his teeth. "It's subjective criteria, but there's no
reason to wait." He glanced at the girl then pointed to the bottle. "Drink it
and a juice pack. That's a medic's order."
She muttered angrily but pulled the bottle into her hand and broke the seal.
She seemed surprised that the seal was good.
Boil gestured at patio door. "Best to wait until Fives tells us it's clear."
Jester nodded.
"How did you deal with the epidemic?" It was Kix's voice. He watched them, his
eyes patient and curious.
The girl shrugged as she sipped at the bottle.
"I didn't get sick," volunteered Dek to a deep sign from the girl.
There was subtle movement of the men in the room. "You should stay away from
us," Waxer's voice was quiet. "We're contagious." Fives came in then.
"We're not scared of that anymore," said the girl with a sigh as she
unconsciously tugged at her bracelet. "Dek was sick. So was I. But it wasn't
anything." She looked at them and spread her hands palm up. "Just a day or two
of coughing and headaches."
"That's not really sick," explained Dek.
"But most of the adults…" she frowned. "Most of them die. Some didn't. There's
some. They…" She glanced down at her bracelet. "I really can't tell you
anymore." She glared at them, daring them to try to get her to talk.
Fives nodded. "Tell them there appears to be a ring of people who intend to
burn out the plague. I'd estimate that we saw approximately fifty people with
blasters guarding from the main highway west for about three klicks."
"They appeared to extend into Twi'lek's Corner," added Jester. "That's about
four more klicks; maybe eighty more people with weapons. And that's only
counting people with weapons."
The girl frowned and her lower lip trembled. "Burn out Issuya?"
"That's what I was told." Fives nodded to Jester. "The gang has passed us by; I
think we should give them another quarter cycle before we leave. We don't want
to overtake them."
"Sounds good," nodded Jester. He turned to the others. "Make sure packs are
full for the run back."
Fives moved back onto the darkness of the patio.
They made their preparations quickly then woke Sinker. It was the dark before
dawn as they simply walked out the front door. Pink grey lines streaked through
the dim night low on the horizon. Kix had control of the stretcher and even as
they gently placed Cut on it, he had grunted softly and spoke. Though no one
understood his mumble.
"Probably don't drop me," muttered Jester as he laid a hand on Cut's arm.
"We're going home, Cut."
"They moved quickly in the silence of early dawn, Dek and the girl running with
them, slower and slower, hoping to be unnoticed. Quad and Waxer slowed with
them, blasters at the ready.
"Is this a good place for you to go?" asked Waxer.
She kept her eyes on them, the frown that hadn't left her face all evening,
deepening further as she stepped with her back against a wall.
Dek glanced around. "No, but just a little further."
"Dek, don't you understand?" she hissed as she backed away from them. "They are
going to kill us. They have to so we don't tell anyone about them."
Dek's face twisted in pain and Quad answered his fear.
"No. We aren't going to kill you. Yes, we're concerned that you'll tell people,
but we were sick of killing a long time ago. It's why we're no longer
stormtroopers. We came to get our brother and take him home. He has younglings.
About your age." His velvet brown eyes met her crystal bright blue one. "You're
far more likely to kill us."
"If you feel safe enough here," offered Waxer. "We'll just go."
"Yes," she hissed. "Just go." It was clear she didn't believe they'd simply go.
"Good to know you, Dek." Quad nodded at the boy then the girl. "Ma'am."  The
girl jerked in surprise and Waxer laughed softly.
"We've known since before we rescued you. It's in the way you stand, the line
of your throat, your forehead, your jaw. It was the way you sipped the water
and how you touched Dek on the shoulder. You need a lot more practice before
you can pass as a boy."
She frowned softly. "But you didn't… none of you…"
"The sewers might be safe." Waxer said, changing the subject. "If they really
do burn out the city. It's how we got in, probably how we'll get out." He
looked at the girl. "My adopted daughter is a lot like you. That's why I
couldn't let you die." He glanced down at the boy with a smile. "Dek, don't
take this the wrong way but you remind me of my brothers."
"I'm Sharn," she said softly and Waxer nodded. "Waxer." He gave a small gesture
of his hand at his chest. "Take care, Sharn."
He turned and ran to catch up with his brothers.
===============================================================================
                                Cut Comes Home
They moved swiftly through the city, Boil and Waxer shifting as point with
Fives and Sinker bringing up the rear with the military blasters. They'd taken
Cut from the stretcher and carried him through the drainage sewers below the
line of guards. In the park at the edge of Issuya, they once again assembled
the stretcher and gently laid him on it. He was awake now; though they could
tell by his expressions that he was confused. His lips moved, but no words came
out. They spoke to him, quietly, as they moved along at a trooper's pace past
the farmland of Saleucami.
"We're going home, Cut." Jester's voice was the first to speak. He'd been with
Cut the longest and he noticed Cut's unspoken word. Home. The shape his lips
made and his weak smile as he recognized what that word represented. He moved
to the forward position now they were in the countryside, Fives slowed to cover
their tracks, to make sure no one followed. He'd be another day before he
returned to the farm.
"You'll be fine, Cut." Kix said as he ran alongside the stretcher. "You're weak
now from being ill and in a coma for several days. It will take you a while to
regain your full strength, but you'll be fine."
Quad moved to the other side of the stretcher. "Shaeeah and Jek have been
worried about you. They'll be so happy to see you. Even Keeli has asked about
you… as much as a toddler can. He's back in the main house with Sula and Saria
since we got immunized."
"Suu?" It was the barest whisper of a question, unheard but the men beside him
saw his lips and his questioning eyes.
Boil answered him. "She's physically well, in spite of nursing ill men. She's
still in isolation at Jester's." Cut's brows drew down and Boil shrugged and
continued speaking. "You know she's been in isolation this entire time, Cut."
Cut turned his head then returned it to look at Boil, but it was Waxer who
continued speaking.
"No?" asked Waxer. "Guess she didn't want you to worry. But she was in
isolation, then Crux became ill on her last day. She, Shy and Kix nursed him
and, when he died, she was in isolation again with Kix and Shy. Then Djinn and
Riven became ill and she nursed them. She's been in isolation or nursing ever
since she came back from Issuya."
"You probably would have realized that if you hadn't been ill." Kix added.
"Don't let it worry you overmuch. Confusion is normal coming out of a coma."
"Suu. Not. Me." Cut's whispered words were more emphatic.
Jester shook his head. "That's Suu's call, Cut. I don't think it would be safe
for me to get between you two."
Cut was quiet for a while, his eyes closed and he seemed to sleep while they
ran. After a while he opened his eyes and stared at Jester.
"Please."
Jester sighed. "I'll do what I can.
Suu was waiting by his house as Jester, moving a little faster, came through
the forest. She stood as he slowed down, not coming within five meters of her.
She gave a crooked smile.
"Cut told you to send me away, didn't he?"
"He's worried for you, Suu. That's all."
She nodded. "I asked Djinn and Riven to relocate the isolation tent next to
large bedroom. If you put him in there, I'll be able to look in the window and
see him."
"He'll be able to see you, too." Jester smiled broadly. "He's already conscious
and coherent. Kix says it will be a while before he regains his strength, but
the immunizations worked." He glanced back. "I can hear them coming, Suu. Go on
to that back window."
"Three days," said Suu as she stood and moved toward the back of the house.
"And not an instant longer." She paused at the corner of the house. "Jester,
some of the men have gone to help Cass Cjain. She's ill also. It was decided
that they should take the outer ring considering they'll be contagious."
She glanced away from his face to see the men running in line with the
stretcher. "It wasn't a decision made by Cody or Rex or me or Saria. It was
their choice." The men stopped at the proper distance and Kix turned the
stretcher so Cut could see her. She bit her lower lip at his pale thinness, at
how weak he looked.
Cut smiled and her tears overflowed.
***** Cass Cjain *****
                                  Cass Cjain
Cody stared at the fire. It was a bad habit for a trooper, destroying night
vision and blinding him if there was an attack. A trooper could be dead before
his night vision returned. Cody gave a grunt in the back of his throat. He
wasn't on guard duty at the moment and none of the drifters on Saleucami had
made it past the outer ring before being turned back. Fire had a friendliness
to it; a warmth that was beyond the physical heat and was a good medium for
reflection. Cody bowed his head. He wasn't a trooper anymore, nor a commander
and the future spread before him like the vast ocean of Kamino - fathomless,
unknown and, Cody admitted truthfully, just a bit scary. He had enjoyed being a
soldier; at least when he had believed that it was the soldiers who brought
peace and enforced the rules of democracy. Disillusionment was good for the
soul, Cody decided, it makes you rethink your life. Cody rubbed his fingers
against the bridge of his nose then held them to the flames warming his palms.
He wanted to help his brothers; both the ones that had escaped and the ones
that hand not yet realized that escape was possible. There would be rebellion
against the Empire. Cody knew that, he'd studied histories of wars. He wondered
if the emperor had ever studied war. Cody thought not otherwise he would
realize that the strict imposition after the freedoms of the Republic would
only bring rebellion.
Cody heard the small group of men as they came to the fire. Edge sat across
from him at the campfire and Jesse stood behind him, in support. Baffle and
Riposte also sat. Support positions were almost instinctive. Jesse agreed
totally with Edge while Baffle and Riposte had very similiar objectives with
only minor changes. Cody could see that in the way they sat and he gave a small
smile. He hoped that all his brothers would go places with at least one other
brother. They'd be lost without someone to understand them. For a moment it
flashed through his head that he hadn't planned to include anyone else in his
tentative plans.
"I spoke with Jester," began Edge. "He went to Cass Cjain's house before going
to Issuya. Cut and Suu don't count her as a friend and, after recent events,
neither do Jester or Saria."
Cody nodded. "I've heard." He looked into Edge's silver-blue eyes, a rare
permitted mutation from the vat of Kaminoan perfection. 'Ghost eyes' some of
the clones had called that particular mutation, though he hadn't heard the term
since they'd landed on Saleucami.
"But she is a neighbor. Jester went to check on her," there was a momentary
tightening of Edge's lips, "after Crux died. He said she complained of a
headache. That's the first symptom of red shadow virus."
"We'd like permission to check on her. Surreptitiously if you think best;
though we'd prefer to introduce ourselves." Baffle's words were softer than
Edge's.
"If she doesn't die." Cody poked a stick into the fire sending a small spray of
fireseeds into the air and watched the dissipate into nothing. "The death rate
is high and chances are she won't survive if she's ill."
Baffle nodded thoughtfully.
Edge dropped his head to stare at something in the fire then nodded. "If she
doesn't die."
"We'll isolate ourselves," Riposte added, both hands palm out reach towards
Cody; offering as well as asking. "In case we become contagious and we'll take
over the outer ring watch as well."
"Now that we're immunized, it doesn't make sense to isolate individual clones
if they meet up with drifters. We'll just consider the outer ring and Cass
Cjain as in isolation. That should protect the others." Edge continued.
"Jester's can be for the men returning from Issuya and caring for Cut and
Sinker." There was the implied assumption that Cut, and maybe Sinker, would be
the last ones ill. It was a hope that no one would speak of.
Cody looked at them. "She'll figure out who and what we are quickly."
"If she dies, it won't matter." Edge said with a shrug. "Even if she survives
she might think it was only Jester and Cut. Kix and Saria say the high fever
causes hallucinations."
Jesse rubbed his arm where Kix had taken blood. "If she survives possibly Saria
and Kix can make a vaccine from her blood? For everyone else." It was a partial
statement, partial question and a good suggestion.
Cody sighed. He didn't want to complicate matters by permitting some of the men
access to Cass, but it wasn't his call anymore. "What about anyone else? Have
you invited, say, Chopper or Checkout to help at Cass's?"
There was an uncomfortable silence.
"No." Edge stated it flatly, in tones of finality and Cody wondered why. Simply
group dynamics? Were the men splitting up into groups who would stay or go
together? Was it something they all knew on some level; that without a brother
they were sure to suffer?
"They'll find out." Cody saw Edge shrug.
"Probably. It won't matter. They can ask to help then. If she's alive. If
there's anything else that needs help by then."
Cody nodded. "Why are you asking me?" His voice was soft and he had a slight
grin on his face.
"You're …" Edge smiled then changed what he was saying. "Not the commander
anymore."
"And I have no right to tell you what to do or what not to do. I can only offer
advice. As a suggestion, talk to Saria and Suu about Cass. I'm sure there are
things you might need to know; things they'll want you to know." Cody looked at
them. "They might have reasons to tell you to stay away. They live here and
plan to continue living here with their husbands. That might be reason enough
to stay away."
Baffle nodded. Edge only looked into the fire – a bad habit for a trooper.
                              * * * * * * * * * *
Cass huddled in her bed with blankets and quilts covering her head. It still
didn't stop the shivering, the chills. It didn't stop the pain or the headache
or the cramps in her fingers and feet. It didn't stop the loneliness. Tears
flowed. She wished he were here. A more objective part of her mind reminded her
thathe wasn't that attentive when he was there. She wanted to be held.
There was a knock on the door – tentative and gentle. Then she heard the door
open. She hoped it was him then she remembered he didn't knock.
"Cass?" It was Jester's voice. Mostly.
"I'm sick, Jester. I think it's the virus." It was kind of Jester to check on
her.
"We know, Cass. I've got some supplies for your kitchen. Would you like me to
bring you some water or tea? Something to eat?"
He'd said 'we'. That meant that Saria knew he was there, knew he was being
kind. Cass sniffled, only partly due to fever. She'd been so cold and
impersonal at the clinic; almost rude in confirming Cass' pregnancy and
offering no congratulations or much needed advice or even more-needed
friendship. Jester had probably talked her into letting him come to check on
her. Jester, at least, was kind. "I'm not hungry but tea would be good. Just
leave it at the door. You shouldn't get sick."
"I'll heat you some soup too. You'll need a little nourishment."
She didn't feel like eating; not even soup. He made noises in the kitchen
though it sounded more like two or three people. She didn't think Saria would
come; maybe it was one of Cut's kids. The door opened and Jester carried a tray
he set on the dresser.
"You're not Jester." She pulled the blankets closer. He was like Cut and
Jester's twin. He lacked Cut's mahogany-shaded hair and Jester's scar though he
had a Bendu tattooed outlined in scars on one side of his head and face.
"No, I'm Jesse." He had the golden brown eyes of both his brothers though he
didn't raise his eyes from the tray for more than a guilty instant.
Her lips tightened. "Another one of Cut's brothers? How many brothers are
there?"
He paused and licked his lips then avoided her question. "There's me and
another here to help you right now. You have plenty of wood at the moment, but
we'll be cutting some more. Your kitchen is fully stocked. You'll hear us out
in the garden." His lips twitched into an almost smile. "I think we can figure
out the weeds from the vegetables." He turned toward her and did smile. "You
rest, Cass."
She leaned back into her pillow and the blankets then turned, pulling the
quilts closer to her. She didn't care about Cut's brothers.
He did though. He cared a great deal about Cut's brothers.
===============================================================================
                                    Choice
Cass knew now that he'd been right. There were more of them than just Cut and
Jester. She caught glimpses of them as they cut firewood for her each day and
brought supplies into her kitchen. They were all different in spite of being
identical. There was Jesse and his Bendu. Another one had beautiful silver eyes
and a tattoo above an eyebrow, a third smiled often, another had a scar on his
cheek.
They made soup and brought it to her door. They bothered her with demands that
she eat. Not that she was hungry. It was rare that she ate. There seemed to be
no reason to eat. She was going to die; the chills that shivered in her body
told her that. The wretched cramping twists of her hands told her that. The
hallucinations told her that. Most of the time she wondered if they were
hallucinations; but the tea wasn't. At night there was silence and they were
gone.
They bothered her dying with demands that she talk to them, that she let them
know what she needed. They would not let her die in peace. Sometimes she
thought she was being held, but that couldn't be right. No one in their right
mind would hold a woman in the throes of plague. She'd lost the pregnancy
sometime in the third night; racked with fever, chills and hallucinations. The
tiny shape that had slipped from her body had been pathetically small. She
wasn't going to cry over it, she decided. Cass hadn't been sure at all whether
she was going to keep it anyway. She had wanted to talk with him to discuss the
matter but he hadn't visited for a while. It no longer mattered.
In a quiet moment of clarity she left a note one evening, asking them to dig a
small hole in the garden at the base of the goldenfruit tree. One of Jester's
brothers had done so. A small, neat hole lined in roofing slates, as though
he'd known. Cass buried the potential, wrapped in one of her best silk scarves,
and told herself she wasn't going to cry over a tiny clutch of flesh that could
barely be identified as human. Tears poured from her eyes and the burning knot
in her throat loosened. Just the sickness, she told herself.
"I'm sorry." It seemed to be only a soft breeze from the forest. She ignored it
as she trudged back to the house, a shiver in her body telling her another
period of chills and pain was coming. She didn't die, but something in her had.
She certainly didn't feel as if she were alive.
There seemed to be no reason to eat, to talk, to move. It was so much easier to
simply lie in bed; to huddle in the blankets and not think. Jesse and his
brothers did not allowed her the peace she craved but they did walked quietly,
when they made soup and tea for her.
He came back. Not for her; and Cass knew that for certain because he came back
in armor carrying his weapons. He came back in the stillness of night, slowly,
cautiously like a predator. He came back grinning as she struggled to breath,
struggled againsthis strength. Her first notice he was in her room was the
suffrocating struggle to wake.
"Did you deed me the house?" she asked after he removed his hand from her
mouth. As always, he seemed to fill the house with his presence. He was big;
looming over her like the doom of forever, taking up more room; pushing her out
of occupying her own life. She had liked that before, likedhis larger-than-life
presence. He was beautiful with long, golden hair and eyes the muted lavender
color of flowers. He moved like a dancer, physical perfection in motion. She
had thought she loved him.
He laughed. "I don't even own it. It's a loan from someone who owes me."
"Then what was I for?" Oddly, she wasn't even surprised anymore; she was too
tired and worn out to care. She had only thought she loved him but she had love
the house. At first it had been a promise of a life together, later it became
her comfort for a promise broken.
"Pleasure and bait." He glared at her. "You weren't much good at either."
She'd moved back to the bedroom slipping between the covers. His words had hurt
more than the fever and the chills. None of this was her concern. Though she
hadn't realized it before, none of this had ever been her concern. She wanted
to cry but there were no more tears.
He woke her again when the soft twilight of Saleucami night gave way to the
early morning.
"Get up and go outside," he told her. "Do some work. Move around. Bring
firewood into the house or something. Keep busy."
It was easier to follow his orders than to voice dissent or ask questions. She
moved slowly, her tired body feeling older than she believed possible. Cass
wondered if you could be dead and still move. She thought so. She certainly
felt dead. Cass picked up a shawl and tucked it over her shoulders. She was
cold, as cold as clay.
He moved into the shed and she knew it was because there were no windows there,
no possibility of anyone catching a quick glimpse of him as he waited.
As Cass walked in the garden, checking the work the brothers had done, she
paused for a moment, shocked into stillness as she noticed a bit of new
greenery on the small grave. Tears she thought she no longer had glistened in
her eyes. She bent, pulled a missed weed and when she looked again at the base
of the goldenfruit tree, the small plant was still there. She turned toward the
woodpile.
Cass picked up some smaller logs from the wood pile and heard a small noise as
she began the short walk to the door of the house. At the edge of the property
were two of Jester's brothers. She recognized Jesse from the large tattoo and
scars across his face and head. The other she didn't recognize. She didn't
think she'd seen him before, but he gave her a smile. She didn't smile back.
She didn't have any smiles left and trying to form one shouldn't be wasted on
someone who would soon be dead.
He came out the shed door, blasters in hand and ordered them closer. She simply
moved into the kitchen with her load of wood. Two small logs fell from her arms
onto the floor but she ignored them as she dropped the remainder into the
woodbox by the fireplace. She returned to the kitchen, opening the screened
door to continue picking up wood. He had told her to keep busy.
He moved in front of her, blocking her. Certainly not to protect her, she knew
that now. Her brows came down in concentration. So she wouldn't interfere? As
if she could do anything to make a difference.
He kept his blasters trained on the two men as he angrily asked questions.
Where were the others? How many were there? Something about perimeters.
Jester's brothers meant money for him. Lethargy gave way to a tiny ember of
anger.
What had he done?
He had promised, oh yes, but they'd been empty promises. He promised the house,
promised to cut firewood, promised to stone pave the walkway. Even little
promises were nothing to him – promises to stay the night, to sit with her by
the fireplace, to drive into Issuya with her.
Cass didn't remember having the thick stick in her hand;  she didn't
eve remember picking up one sturdy log from the kitchen floor. Rough bark
scraped against her palm.
Jester's brothers had promised nothing; they had tried to slip through her
notice like ghosts. But they had been the ones to bring supplies in from the
shed. They'd been the ones to chop firewood, to dig a small grave, to weed her
small garden. Cass wondered if they had diverted drifters and didn't doubt it.
For her they'd given up anonymity, they'd given up being ghosts. They had
trusted her with their existence.
Her face twisted in a frown as she brought up the small log and swung it at
him. He noticed her movement from the corner of his eye, and ducked with a
curse. He was a bounty hunter, a trained fighter and big. Oddly, he didn't loom
over her life anymore. He was merely big.
Jester's two brothers acted immediately and in concert with each other,
separating and rushing forward to attack. His hand swung around, a heavy
blaster in his fist, and caught her upside the head as she brought the piece of
wood back for another swing. She heard the crackle of blaster fire and a cry
from one of Jester's brothers. Pain splintered into stars and the stars merely
splintered further into darkness.
                              * * * * * * * * * *
"Cass?"
It was a gentle voice, low and questioning. Jester's voice – almost. No,
Jesse's voice, she absently identified.
"Cass, are you alright?" Insistent, as he had been in urging her to eat soup
and drink the tea he'd made. As he had been in urging her to live.
A coolness dabbed at the side of her face. It felt like her skull had split.
She gave a shuddering breath. Gentle hands tucked blankets around her. Strong
fingers tentatively touched her face, brushed back a lock of hair that had been
tickling her cheek, combed softly through her hair. It felt comfortable and she
felt herself crying again.
"I'll be right here, Cass. If you need anything, just moan."
She tried to smile but she was tired.
When she woke again, she allowed one eye to sliver open to see, then shut it
again. One of Jester's brothers was at the bedside; not Jesse with his scarred
tattoo and not the quiet one with the beautiful silver-blue eyes. The one with
a scar on his cheek.
"Sleep as long as you need to Cass. You've had a rough time."
"All ok?" Her voice was a croak and he held a glass to her lips, effortlessly
cradling her shoulders and head; waiting until she'd taken several small sips.
"We are all fine." He emphasized 'we' and she didn't ask. "Jesse and Countdown
are a little bruised around the edges. The blast skimmed Countdown's arm, but a
little bacta and he'll be fine. He's disappointed he couldn't stay here. You've
got a concussion and a cut down the side of your face."
"Don't bury him near…" she whispered.
"We won't. Rest now."
She couldn't yet. "Names? Jesse. Bendu. Eyes?"
"That's Edge."
"Smiles lot?"
"That would be Baffle."
She touched his face, her fingers caressing the old scar on his cheekbone and
he swallowed. Her fingers dropped to the bed.
"I'm Riposte." He gently lowered her head back to the pillow and brought the
quilt around her shoulders.
How odd, she thought as she drifted into sleep. Such wonderful, beautiful, odd
names.
***** Home *****
                                     Home
It was a day of celebration. Quarantine ended for the men at Jester's house and
the women in the farm house. Suu was the second to act on it in the early
morning.
                                   Cut & Suu
Suu had barely moved away from the window overlooking Cut for the three days
the men were in isolation. He was mostly coherent the first couple of hours but
too weak to do more than look at her. His face looked so old, so lined in pain
that it was all she could do not to cry.
Kix and Jester kept him company the most, telling him what had happened in the
last two weeks or spoon-feeding him soup, but Sinker and Quad also spent a lot
of time with Cut. Shaeeah visited Jester's house daily, mostly her father
through the window, but sometimes Quad at a distance or Boil and Waxer with
Numa. Jek didn't visit at all.
"I'm too busy, Shaeeah," he'd tell his sister and it was true that he spent a
lot of time in the fields. His uncles helped, but they told her and Suu that he
often preferred to be by himself.
On the third day, with no signs of red shadow virus, Suu simply moved into
Jester's house, walking past Boil, who held a box in his hand and was
contemplating cooking cereal grain for breakfast and Waxer at the table with a
cup of caf in front of him. Both men grinned at her and Waxer raised his cup in
salute.
Fives was playing a game of solitary while Quad lounged on the sofa.
"Morning, Suu," murmured Fives. "It's a beautiful day."
"Indeed it is," smiled Suu. "You'll be seeing Sula and the peach later today?"
Fives only grinned as he began stacking the deck in a pile. There was no need
to play cards while one of his wives waited for him. He handed the cards to
Quad. "I'm going to go see if my wife is awake." He glanced at Suu with kindred
anticipation as he stood and turned toward the kitchen. "She's not quite the
early riser you are but maybe I can convince her today is worth it."
"Or you can take the peach and let her sleep," suggested Suu.
"Good Idea, Suu." Fives was out the door.
Kix was silently sitting in a chair next to the bed. Cut was sitting up,
leaning against some pillows. His eyes crinkled in joy as his wife came into
the room.
"I thought you'd grab me at the door." Suu chided.
"I had planned to," grinned Cut, ravaged lines still on his face. "But Kix said
if I stayed in bed until you got here, he'd let you scrub my back while taking
a shower."
Kix shrugged. "I don't think he's strong enough to manage a shower by himself,
Suu, but I did promise him …" Kix blushed, his ears flamed and his cheeks went
bright with embarrassment. "I said…" He scowled and Cut laughing, rescued him.
"He promised solitude, Suu. Curtains drawn and door closed and no interruptions
for the rest of the day."
"After the shower, you have to stay in bed," ordered Kix.
"I couldn't have said it any better." Cut grinned and held out his hand for Suu
to join him. His fingers were thinner and his hand trembled slightly but he
wrapped his arm around her as she sat at his side; they wrapped themselves in
each other and the outside world ceased to exist.
Still blushing, Kix left the room with a few words. "Someone will be in the
house if you need help so just yell." He wasn't sure if they heard him.
                                 Waxer & Boil
Numa and Shaeeah came together, hand in hand, with baskets of fresh nuna eggs
and vegetables to cook for the men.
"Nerra Boil, Nerra Waxer." Numa smiled as they entered the kitchen. Boil hugged
Numa tightly as she entered the door.
"A'lu a'hr," he murmured softly in her ear. Waxer, caf in hand, stood for his
own welcome. Shaeeah gave him a small hug of welcome then moved to the stove.
"I suppose mom and dad are busy?" she smirked then smiled as she rolled her
eyes. "They're supposed to be too old for that sort of thing."
Quad laughed as he came into the kitchen, attracted by the noise of more people
than Boil and Waxer. "I get the feeling there's no such thing as too old
forthat sort of thing."
Shaeeah gave him a hug around the waist, putting the side of her face against
his chest to listen to his heartbeat. "I'm glad." He bent his head down as she
looked up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"You haven't cooked breakfast yet, have you?" ask Numa as she moved from Boil
to Waxer.
Waxer shook his head at her then clasped Numa in his arms. "Only three days,
Numa. Three days and my heart aches for not seeing you."
Numa nodded. "My heart began sorrowing the moment you left the camp." She
brightened. "We have brought the freshest eggs for you, the best forest
mushrooms, vegetables that were plants until this morning. Aureki even packed
some spices for the omelets we're going to try to make." She gave a chagrinned
smile. "Though it will probably turn out to be scramble instead of omelet. This
morning we will cook for you; saving you from Checkout's brefkast."
"Brefkast?" Waxer's eyebrows went up.
"That's what the troopers are calling it," quipped Numa as she picked up a
knife and cutting board.
"Or brick-fast" added Shaeeah as she pulled some bowls and plates from the
shelves. "He's improved but not much and now Backup is helping him."
Waxer nodded. "He was shamed when he volunteered to go to Issuya and we
wouldn't accept him."
"As he should have been," said Boil. "As he should have been."
                                     Dare
Dare smiled. It was a small smile, barely more than the curl and slight opening
of his lips, but it was unmistakably an engaging smile and not the grimace he'd
had when his jaw had been firmly set. He opened his lips, just the smallest
bit, just enough for a small bite of food. He moved his jaw, ever so slightly.
He breathed deeply then sighed, blowing air out of his open lips.
Saria had broken her isolation and, with Edge's help, replaced the wires two
days ago with what she called flexibands. She had said his jaw was healing
properly and, after he winced as she touched his skin; that it was unlikely any
facial nerves were damaged. She seemed pleased with her work.
Pleased! Dare laughed, a small noise from deep in his chest that bubbled out of
his lips and sounded more natural, more normal than the past … how long … years
of imprisonment and weeks of a broken jaw. When he was totally healed, he was
going to ask everyone to tell him jokes so he could laugh; loud and long and
hard. "Pleased" did not begin to describe his feelings. He was ecstatic!
Today he could have solid food, Saria had promised. She had him use the straw
and nutritional supplement for the day after surgery and had prohibited him
from speaking. He followed her direction explicitly now.
Aureki had seen him by the house yesterday after surgery, where he normally
was, trying to stay as near Sula as possible. She kept him from falling into a
deep depression, radiating peace and contentment for him. Aureki told him that
the girls planned a special breakfast at Jester's house. He'd looked for and
found Numa and had written the word in the dirt with a finger. Breakfast? She
had nodded.
"Jester's, shortly after dawn tomorrow," she'd said in her low voice. "We'll
cook for you, you need to put on some weight and Checkout wouldn't be able to
manage that."
Dare had nodded and tapped his chest with his fingers. Then he remembered she
was a scout and gave her the hand signals. Victory. Rendezvous. She smiled.
They were in the kitchen, he could hear their voices and laughter and the
lesser sound of food cooking. He could smell the heady scent of solid food and
his stomach gave a lurch of anticipation. It didn't seem right to simply walk
in though he'd been invited, so he knocked softly on the door. Kix opened it
and handed Dare a cup of caf.
"I recall you like it dark and sweet," he smiled.
"Yes," said Dare softly, returning the smile though not as wide. He glanced at
the table and nodded to Sinker. "Good to see you, Sinker. I'm glad you made
it." He wasn't loud, but it was more than a whisper.
Sinker nodded as he held out his arm for Dare to clasp then glanced toward Kix.
"He has aphasia, Dare. Difficulty speaking, understanding the written word,
numbers, directions." Kix took a drink of his own caf and turned his attention
back to Sinker. "We'll talk with Saria later today to see if there's some kind
of therapy that'll help, but truthfully Sinker, I'm not optimistic."
Sinker grinned and touched his chest. "Am," he declared emphatically. "All.
Scape."
Dare nodded. "I tink I'll be I'll be optimistic, too."
"What would you like in your scramble?" Shaeeah was at the stove with two eggs
in one hand and a spatula in the other.
"Hot spices, Treaded nerf jerky." His voice had sounded a little odd,
constrained by the flexibands, and shen was a lost cause, but Shaeeah nodded
her understanding. She cracked the eggs into a small bowl, added a little blue
milk and some spices. He moved closer to watch her cook. It was an important
skill to learn. All the troopers had vowed to learn after the very first day of
Checkout's cooking.
"More," he told her in his quiet voice, standing behind her looking over her
shoulder. "Very hot."
Shaeeah turned and handed him the bowl of pepperspice. "Spice it yourself."
He poured a heaping spoon of the pepperspice into the frothy egg mix and
watched her lips pucker. She didn't say anything as she whipped up the eggs and
slid them onto the heated metal plate. When the eggs had barely turned solid,
Shaeeah added the shredded meat and some white, creamy substance that started
to melt.
"What's dat?" Dare couldn't yet say his trills, but Saria had warned him that
trillalong with shen and a few other letters would be difficult to pronounce
until the flexibands had dissolved, so he wasn't alarmed.
"Yai-yai. Saria said it would be good for you and Jester said he had some that
we could use." Shaeeah moved the spatula in a crisp movement but the omelet
disintegrated. Shaeeah sighed and quickly stirred it into a scramble. "It's
just for you and no one else."
Dare nodded. He'd heard of yai-yai; it was a nutrient-dense, high calorie
Mandalorian food.
"Where is Jester?" Kix looked around. "He can't still be asleep, can he?" All
the men who'd been in Issuya, except Jester and Cut, were sitting at the table
with unfinished food and caf or leaning against the wall. Everyone knew where
Cut and Suu were.
Quad laughed. "He was gone at midnight to visit Saria."
"They were at the front porch this morning, wrapped up in a blanket." Shaeeah
handed Dare the plate, the egg scrambled soft and still moist, the nerf jerky
shredded thin. He closed his eyes and lifted the plate to his nose. The scent
was tantalizing, more so than any other food he'd ever had the pleasure to
smell.
He sat at the table, Waxer vacating a chair for him, and lifted a small forkful
of scramble to his open lips. Heaven! It was pure pleasure, the eggs nicely
salty and hot with the spices that tickled the back of his throat, the nerf
requiring only the barest nibble before swallowing. He held the egg on his
tongue for a moment, pressing it up to his palate, before swallowing.
"And his first words after eating real food are …" introduced Quad with humor
in his amber eyes.
"Paradise," mumbled Dare. "I have died and gone to paradise."
Numa gave him a quick hug as did Shaeeah. Waxer, right behind him, slapped him
lightly on the shoulder. Sinker nodded and tapped his arm with a fist. The
others, brothers who had seen his hardship with the broken jaw, applauded and
laughed in delight.
"Paradise," said Quad as he lifted his cup for a toast.
"Paradise,"
===============================================================================
                                    Home II
It was a day of celebration. Quarantine ended for the men at Jester's house and
the women. Suu was the second to act on it in the early morning but Jester was
the first.
                                Jester & Saria
Jester had woken at midnight as he'd meant to. It was why he'd chosen to sleep
on the sofa in the office, disturbing only Quad in the living room as he
silently slipped from the house. Quad had opened an eye, then both as he
watched Jester leave. A smile of comprehension came over his face as Jester
pointed out the chronometer. Quad closed his eyes and returned to the peace of
sleep. The little house was quiet as he shut the front door carefully, everyone
asleep as the last night in quarantine slowly ended. Almost everyone had plans
for tomorrow – playing chase with the younglings, soaking in the hot pool or
talking with the women as they hoped for a soft hug. He knew Kix was planning
to take up most of Saria's day and Jester wanted his time in with her.
Uninterrupted time. Quiet time. Time to tell her how much he loved her, how
much he appreciated her, how badly he wanted her. Time to softly run his
fingers on her skin, to hear her voice, to taste her lips with his own.
Technically, and only technically, it was the day the quarantine ended for him
and the others who'd gone to Issuya. Technically. It was past the middle of
night. Technically. It was dawning the new day. He loped through the woods,
almost as quiet as the night's shadow. He saw one of his brothers watching for
drifters and waved. . He smiled as he reached the front porch of Cut's house.
Cut was weak and thin; but he was alive, awake and no longer ill. All he needed
was time and Suu.
Saria was a bundle curled up on the porch, snoring softly. Jester grinned. He'd
always known she was the one to snore.
"Saria," he called in a loud whisper; hopefully to not wake anyone except her.
"Saria!" It took several more tries.
"Mmm. What, Jester?" She was awake and smiled at him, her hand reaching out.
"It's past midnight. Quarantine is over today. Is there any particular time or
can I come up and hold you now?"
She yawned. "How do you feel? Any tickling in the throat? Any headache or
chills? Any of that in the house when you left?"
Jester shook his head. "I don't know about headaches, but no coughing, no
chills. Last night everyone was feeling good, anticipating today."
Saria smiled back. "But not as much as you." She gestured with her fingers and
Jester came closer. He sat beside her and pulled on her pillow.
"What are you doing?" she asked petulantly, slowly releasing the pillow to his
insistent fingers.
"I get the pillow." He grinned.
"And what do I get?" Her green eyes almost glowed in the moons' light, her hair
paler and lighter in the monochrome dimness.
He lay down beside her, tucking the pillow under his head and pulling her
against him. Her head was on his arm, her back against his chest and his hands
swept around her to caress her pregnant belly.
"Me, Saria. You get all of me. My body, my heart, my life, my mind. Do clones
have souls? You get that as well." He bent his head into the curve of her neck.
"I love you, Saria."
"I love you, Jester." She turned, facing him, curling into the circle of his
arms.
              Cass Cjain & Clones (Jesse, Edge, Baffle, Riposte)
Cass stretched and yawned. She caught herself before the yawn stretched too far
into the cut on her face. They'd tended it, using skin glue to hold the edges
of the skin together. One of the clones had come from Jester's house and tended
it. They said he was a medic. He'd been shy and self-effacing at meeting her,
but his hands had been skilled as they tended her face. "It will leave a thin
scar," he'd said mournfully. "I know women don't like scars but it will fade in
time and mostly it's right near your hairline. It will be almost invisible."
"That's all right." She had reached up to touch her face but he caught her hand
in his and held it, gently placing it back in her lap. "It will remind me what
a dummy I am when it comes to men."
He'd given her a small smile as he glanced down at the floor, then at the
closed door behind which they could hear his brothers in the small hallway,
from the corners of his eyes – a look only she noticed. "I don't think that
will be much of a problem anymore." He'd said quietly.
Cass smiled. He'd been right. They'd stayed with her; Jesse, Baffle, Riposte
and Edge. At first she thought it was just because of the epidemic and the need
to remain in isolation. The first day she had figured out differently when the
medic came then left the house. She'd found out differently when Jesse spoke of
leaving and the others had looked at her warmly, declaring their preference to
stay. Originally she'd thought they had only meant 'stay on Saleucami'. Her
very reasonable excuses for her obtuseness including the medication, the
epidemic, and getting hit in the head.
It had been Edge with his beautiful silver eyes, who had approached her,
pulling a chair into her bedroom and closing the door behind him. "There's
confusion," his words had been brusque and she thought he was angry. "You don't
appear to understand and we don't know how to tell you." He set the chair next
to her bed. "If you permit, we four would like to court you. Jesse would like
the practice but ultimately plans to leave Saleucami. I plan to stay on
Saleucami. Baffle and Riposte don't know." He looked into her eyes. She
blinked, fairly stunned by his declaration. "It depends on whether or not you
accept either or both. If you have questions, you can ask any one of us." She
didn't realize it then, but it had been a long speech for Edge. He'd taken the
chair and left the room, pulling the door quietly shut behind him.
"Awake?" The voice beside her was low and husky, his body warm. He reached,
rubbing her back with his big, calloused hand. She turned toward him and
smiled.
"Where's the rest of the pack?" She called them a pack and included herself
because they slept tumbled on her bed; because there was a recognizable Alpha –
Edge, because they listened to her, because they did things together.
"Edge went back to the barn for the day. He's looking forward to chase. Jesse
is cooking breakfast and from the smell of things is doing ok; nothing's
burning. Baffle is probably taking a shower." He listened for a moment, as did
Cass, and both heard the water. "Shower," nodded Riposte then he grinned. "And
I have the best part, keeping you company." Tentatively he leaned his face
closer, his lips parting softly, his strong arm pulling her closer. She tilted
her face up, meeting his lips with her own.
                              * * * * * * * * * *
"It's not my house. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay." Cass bowed her
head. "I thought it was mine, but I was lied to." Her words trailed into
nothing as she inspected her lunch. Riposte had made nerf jerky sandwiches
served with fresh golden fruit. The golden fruit was getting overripe but jiqui
was coming into season.
"That's even better," said Baffle with a smile. "I've been helping Jester a lot
with some work he's been doing on his house and I think we could design and
build something more to our liking." He grinned and glanced at the other men.
"Maybe even closer to the thermal pool?" There was general agreement to that
idea.
Cass shook her head. "That's Suu's property. They don't like me very much. Even
if they would sell, I don't think I have sufficient credits to buy a portion of
the land."
"And we're Cut's brothers. Family." Riposte took a bit of his last sandwich.
"I'm going to love you dearly, Cass, but I have to say that Suu does cook bread
much better than anyone else." His statement caught her breath, snagging her
heart on the way.
Jesse frowned. "Why don't they like you, Cass? Cut and Suu, I mean. I think
we've figured out why Jester and Saria."
"Well, she was such a cold bi…" Cass looked around at the men. They were
frowning but it was mostly confusion rather than anger. Cass swallowed her
anger. If she thought about it, Saria's reactions actually made sense. "Jester
apologized. I think I did too when I was sick, but I could apologize again."
She glanced down then around with a tremulous smile. "I'd been told that he was
no longer with Saria and I always thought he was attractive so…" She shrugged.
"You could always challenge her to one-on-one," said Baffle as he put the last
plate in the sink.
Riposte shook his head. "It doesn't work like that for civilians, Baffle." He
turned back to Cass. "Could you apologize to Cut and Suu? Or would you require
an apology from them? They're family, Cass, and we won't give up on them. We'd
prefer you to be friends." He sucked the last of the crumbs off his fingertips
and gave her a lop-sided grin. "If only to get Suu's recipe for bread."
Cass held her hands in front of her, palms up. "I don't think there's much to
apologize to Cut and Suu. I flirted with Cut a little, but I like flirting."
She noticed they all seemed pleased at those words.
"We like flirting, too." Jesse gave her a brief smile. "At least, for as little
of it that we've done we seem to like it." She laughed softly, stood and put
her arms around his neck in a hug then she sat in her chair again.
"I can apologize to Cut and Suu for not being neighborly, I guess. The same for
Saria and Jester." She chewed her lower lip slightly. "I can just stay away
from Saria for the most part if she continues to be so cold."
Riposte shrugged. "We'll find out today." He offered his arm to Cass who stood.
"We'll all be playing chase today and you need to be there to cheer us on." He
was solemn as he looked at Cass. "Edge really loves chase. He'd be hurt if you
weren't there to see him win. You do like him, don't you?"
"Does he always win?" She tilted her head as she looked up at Riposte.
"Pretty much," answered Jesse. "Are we even on the same team? I didn't ask
Edge."
"If we aren't, then Cass has twice as much reason to cheer." Baffle gave a
shrug of one shoulder.. "I still say one-on-one would be your best bet with
Saria." He winked at Cass. "You've got reach on her."
                                     Fives
Fives loped to the farm house easily. He saw Checkout and Backup in the back
yard at the fire pit starting breakfast. Checkout saw him and waved; he waved
back but passed the back yard for the front door.
Chopper was sitting beside the house, his legs drawn up and his arms resting on
his knees. Fives slowed. "I would have thought you'd be at Jester's with
Shaeeah and Numa cooking."
"I thought about it," Chopper grinned. "But Sula asked me to stay here until
you showed up. And today, Aureki has decided to treat us all to -something
called tashki. I suspect it's going to be delicious and I'm only hoping that
Echo's appearance into the house isn't going to stall it for too long."
Fives laughed. "If he feels anything like me, you might not get to try tashki
until dinner tonight."
"I knew I should have intercepted him with a difficult question about field
maneuvers in jet pack under variable gravity conditions." Chopper looked
chagrinned.
"Wouldn't have slowed him down for more than an instant, Chopper, and he still
would have given you the right answer." Fives shook his head as he looked down
at the smiling man. Even now, Echo's memory amazed him. "He's got all those
regs memorized."
Chopper sighed then shrugged and leaned against the wall. "You're here now, so
I guess I'll go give Checkout a hand with breakfast."
Fives looked around and combed his hair back with his fingers. "This is where
Dare sits, isn't it?"
"Not since yesterday. Sula asked him to leave, said he was too jah-zeet to
stay." Chopper grinned. "Does that mean 'eagerly anticipating'?"
Fives laughed, his hair shaking. "Close enough. She always told me it meant
'you're bugging me too much, go away'." Chopper laughed as well.
His expression sobered then. "She asked me to sit here. She seemed faded, tired
and drawn out. If I could help by simply sitting here…." He shook his head
slowly, his eyes looking worried. "She's been good to us, listened to us,
touched us."
Fives nodded. "You are helping. Sula's been doing a lot lately. Mostly
broadcasting and mostly for Dare but a little for all of us. And she's been
busy with the peach. I'm sure Aureki and Saria helped but it isn't the same.
You are providing her with…" Fives raised a hand and searched for the word.
"Mental peace and clarity."
Chopper laughed in genuine amusement. "I never thought I'd heard those words in
reference to myself."
Fives shrugged and grinned. "The most unexpected results, Chopper. I never
thought to hear myself in reference to wives and children." Fives thought a
moment. "Say, Chopper. Would you rather give me a hand?"
"Depends."
"I was going to take the peach away from Sula and finally give her some
extended time away from the baby." Fives smiled lop-sidedly. "But I'd like to
spend some time with her myself."
"I assume you mean Sula at the moment, not the baby."
"Both actually," admitted Fives. "But Sula first. Particularly in the morning
when it's perfect to simply curl up with each other; particularly after a
separation like this epidemic has imposed on us. Particularly when she's
missing her sister and after she's been working steadily for so long." Fives
expression had turned serious. "It's not good for her and she needs to …
balance or readjust against me. You're good; the other day she said you were
like stone. That is a compliment, by the way. Means 'steady', unmovable. But I
am her husband."
Chopper nodded. "I'd be happy to carry the peach around for a while. I know she
likes Sketch and both he and Edge adore her, so I'll take her up to the barn
and us three uncles can try to spoil her rotten for you."
"Sound good, Chopper. I'll owe you one." Fives started to turn toward the front
of the house. From the corner of his eye he saw Chopper shake his head.
"I don't know about that, Fives. Sula and I had an interesting conversation
just before the quarantine." Chopper looked down at the ground. "We… touched.
We hugged and kissed." Chopper turned red. "I told her I wanted to be part of
her – your – family. When Saoha returns I will want to discuss it with all of
you. I know Sketch also want to stay with Saoha. You. Us." He looked down at
the grass, plucking a few blades.
Fives grinned and spoke softly. "You'd be welcome, Chopper. Both you and
Sketch. When we got here, Sula and Saoha and I discussed adding to our family.
I was so happy they would choose from my brothers. We were in agreement. We
haven't discussed who, but I know that Saoha adores Sketch. She appreciates
your restraint and strength of character. Though I don't know in what context.
Sula is quieter, but when she called you a stone I knew that she wanted you in
our family." He grinned. "There's a saying on Zeltros that every family needs a
stone."
He reached out a hand to Chopper, pulling him from the ground into a quick hug.
"Let's get the peach."
                            Chopper, Sketch & Edge
Fives came out of the house with baby peach in his arms. He smiled and cooed as
her tiny hands reached for his face and his long hair. He took one of her
fingers in between his lips and made slurping noises.
Chopper laughed as he held his arms out for the baby, like Sa had shown him; a
hand cupping her shebs, her back along his forearm and her head in the crook of
his elbow. He was surprised, but he'd missed her as well. He held her close, so
she could hear his heartbeat. "It's pretty amazing to hear a big, tough ARC
cooing at a baby."
Fives laughed as well. "You should have heard this big, tough ARC trooper
singing to Sula's tummy when she was pregnant." He shook his head with a smile.
"Just you wait, Chopper. You'll be doing the same in a few short years."
Chopper's breath caught. He knew he'd been invited into Fives' family; he knew
but he had promised not to believe it until it was reality. That resolution
simply crumbled. He wanted to say something to Fives, something to mark the
moment when he truly believed that he'd be loved for the rest of his short
life.
Fives may have seen it in his face, but he only touched Chopper on the
shoulder. "Sula says to bring her back midmorning, she'll be hungry." Fives
handed Chopper a small sack. "And this is for you, Sketch and Edge. A little
gift from Aureki." He grinned and turned back to the house.
Chopper bent his head to the baby and she reached up, poking a finger into
Chopper's nostril. He jerked his head back and she waved her hands making
happy, garbling sounds. "So, little peach, you're now heavier than the DC 15A."
Chopper gave her a tiny heft. "Almost up to a DC 17." he bent his head over
her, letting her fingers grab his lips. "With scope and full power cartridge."
The barn door was open and Chopper could see Edge moving around, cleaning up
some equipment from Dare's operation. Sketch was leaning back on his cot, his
leg warmly wrapped, with lines of pain around his closed eyes.
"What happened?" Chopper tensed then relaxed as the peach squirmed with a soft
noise.
Sketch shrugged and opened his eyes at peach's small noise. "A cramp in the
leg. I'll be glad to be going back to the house and my place next to the
stove." He smiled as he noticed Chopper's wriggling bundle. "It wasn't too bad
and the only one since the first few days here. Give my leg a few moments, but
I'd love to hold her for a while."
"Take the bag then. Edge, come on over here. Aureki sent us a treat." Sketch
took the bag from Chopper's fingers who shifted his now-free arm against peach,
rocking her softly. Edge came over, stopping to grab a chair for Chopper.
Sketch pulled out a pastry; flaky on the top and bottom, sticky, filled with
nuts and bits of dried fruit. He handed it to Edge and pulled another one out
for himself. He licked some of the stickiness. "Good," he reported to Edge and
Chopper as he nodded. "Definitely on the really good side of cooking."
Edge nodded. His own mouth busy chewing. He swallowed and took a closer look at
the interior as if he could divine the secret recipe from looking. "I hope Cass
learns to cook this."
"Maybe she already knows," Chopper reached into the bag with his free hand and
pulled out a piece of the pastry.
"How are things proceeding?" Sketch, sucking on a sticky finger, turned to
Edge.
Edge shrugged. "We've got hopes."
"Jesse?" frowned Chopper.
Edge paused. "I think so. Different hopes than the rest of us. But I think he
hopes she'll help … mend him somehow."
"What do you think, Edge? About Jesse?"
There was another shrug from Edge as he reached into the bag for another treat,
eyeing the peach who was sticking out her pink tongue. "He's getting better.
More sociable. Said he may play chase today."
"Good," smiled Chopper. He wondered if he should touch her tongue with a sticky
finger and let her taste the sweetness but decided not. She reacted to his
decision by puckering her lips and wrinkling her nose.
Edge looked at them with his steely blue eyes. "Cass may come to watch."
"Will she and Saria get into a fight, do you think?" Sketch reached out for the
baby and smiled broadly as Chopper handed her over with more care than if he
were handing over a live explosive.
"I would think," began Chopper. "That it all depends on how Jester and Saria
act. Jester's apologized to her, and he's all wrapped up in Saria. I can't see
any trouble with Jester." Both Edge and Sketch nodded their agreement; Sketch
adding a small coo at peach and she made a happy garble back at him.
"Saria's attention is all on Jester now," added Sketch. "She's secure in that
he loves her." Sketch smiled. "She knows that she is loved." He turned to Edge.
"I won't be playing chase, so if you bring Cass to sit with me, I'll let her
know how the game is played, and keep her busy, smiling, in a good mode. Saria
is unlikely to yell or pout at me."
They both acknowledged the truth of that.
"Edge, you need to let Jester and Saria know that she might be here. If Saria
makes a fuss, let her know that Cass is your choice and the choice of several
more brothers." Chopper finished the last treat and stared down into the bag,
hoping more would magically appear. "I don't think she'll object too much if
she knows Cass is here because you want her here. If she's aware that Cass may
become her sister-in-law."
Edge smiled.
                                 Echo & Aureki
Aureki had white flour on her orange fingers mimicking the markings of her
face. She was singing as she cooked and Echo could only watch, bemused and
enchanted by his wife. Fives had come in with a smile at Echo and, more likely,
Aureki. Sula wasn't the cook in that family and neither was Saoha.
"What is that song, Aureki?" He asked softly; sometimes too much talking ruined
the food. Not that he or Rex ever noticed. It was good, it was all good and not
just the food. She finished cutting the first pan of tashki into individual
pieces. It was a golden pastry covered with sticky syrup just beginning to
harden now they'd been removed from the oven.
"A cooking song," she laughed. "It doesn't translate well. 'Fire proper, flour
crisp, fruit sweet, let my hands accomplish this and more." She started cutting
the pastry in the second pan.
"It works," he smiled. "Every time you cook something I can only marvel at the
tastes."
There'd been some noise upstairs; quiet talking, then Fives had come back down
with the peach in his arms. "I'm taking her out to Chopper. He's going to watch
over her for a while up in the barn."
"A moment, Fives," Aureki paused in the song and quickly put six of the
pastries she was making into a sack. "This is for them."
"None for me?" Fives was being facetious. "Ah, well. I have hopes that peach
will turn out to cook."
"She must grow a bit first." Aureki bent over the wriggling child, touching
noise to noise. "I will teach her, if …" She let the sentence trail into
nothing.
"If we don't all go separate ways?" Fives asked gently. "We will, Aureki. But
we are brothers and we'll meet up again in time."
"Then I will teach her to cook." Aureki ran her fingers over her own belly,
ignoring the white streaks left by the flour. "And she will have a sister
cousin and brother cousin to learn with." Her fingers reached up to touch Fives
on his cheek. "We are warmed by the fires of family."
"Thank you, sister." Fives, the peach securely in his arms and the sack between
two fingers, moved from the kitchen and out the door.
Aureki watched him leave, then the empty space where he'd been with an odd
expression on her face. "What is planned, Echo? There is something. I can see
it in the faces of you and Fives; in Cody and Rex and Chopper and Djinn and
most of the other men. It is like the expression many of you have when you play
chase." She turned to him, almost angry. "There is a plan and you have kept it
from me."
"No," Echo shook his head but he frowned. "It's not really a plan yet, just
talk."
Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms.
"Truly, Aureki. It's just talk." He spread his hands out, palm upward, as
though offering her something.
"Against the Empire." She stated and he nodded slowly. "About what you will do,
what you can do, what you plan to do. You are going to leave in small groups
and pairs so the capture of one does not lead to the capture of all. You a
making plans so each of you is, can be, self-supporting."
"Yes." Echo murmured.
"Get out." She turned around, back to the pans of tashki and picked up a knife
to cut it into individual pieces. "I will let your fatherless children know
that you loved them. I will give them your medals; cold comfort in the night."
"Aureki, please don't…"
"Don't what, Echo? Don't be hurt? Don't cry for you? Don't long for you every
night you are not beside me in bed." She wheeled on him again, the knife in her
hand was too close to his face for comfort and he took it from her. She didn't
seem to notice. "You will take my sister as well. And you will leave me with
three children in a home of tears…"
"I won't leave you, Aureki." He punched the sentence into her tirade. "Never."
She paused, listening, though her glistening eyes were still wary.
"Yes, we are working towards plans. Yes, IF these plans come to fruition, Rex
and Ahsoka will probably take short trips. Yes, some men may be put in danger;
that will be their choice. But Shili is home and bymyown choice I will never
leave your side. Rex knows that. They all know that and there's not a single
brother who disagrees with my decision."
Aureki turned back to face him, though her arms still hugged around her
shoulders. "What is this plan-to-be?"
"It's two-fold. During the debriefings, Cody and Rex discovered that every man
who deserted; every man who escaped the grip of Kaminoan inculcation and
military loyalty had been seen as individual by someone. We won't be helping
others escape. That would be too dangerous. But, somehow, we want to get that
experience to as many of the original clones as possible. We think that being
seen as an individual allows a clone to realize he is not identical to his
brothers; that his thoughts and feelings are his own. That's especially
important now that any expression of individuality is suppressed. Names aren't
allowed in the Imperial army even off-duty. Neither is marking armor. Showing a
clone he is his own man breaks something in that chain of training. They don't
all choose to desert, but it's a beginning."
"That should be a job for civilians," Aureki said softly and Echo nodded. "And
the second part of this not-yet-existing plan?"
"Planting the seeds for setting up a future rebellion." He saw her body
tighten. "There will be little spurts of rebellion here and there; planetary
attempts to secede from the Empire. They'll fail. Right now the Empire is so
large and prepared that rebellion would accomplish only death." He reached out
and ran his arms along hers. "There needs to be a foundation for rebellion to
succeed and that will take time. In the future…."
She came into his arms and he hugged her tightly, his cheek resting against her
useless montrals. "Aureki, I never had a future until Ahsoka saw me, saw every
man in Torrent for who they really were. I love her for that. I will always
love her for that. How could I not?" He tightened his grip, burying his face
against her damp cheeks. "But now… If the laws of Shili changed, Aureki, and
there could only be one husband and one wife, I would choose you."
***** A Game of Chase *****
                                        
They escorted Cass to Cut and Suu's farm, Jesse holding her hand while Baffle
and Riposte ran on ahead. Jesse didn't say much, but it wasn't like Edge's
silence. Jesse was shyer, diffident.
"I've already decided to leave," he said quietly, so you don't have to…"
She slid her arm around his waist. As his arm was pulled behind him, he
reflexively let go of her hand and straightened his arm to find it around her.
"I like this," he smiled after a while, saying nothing more.
When they came to the farmhouse, he began pointing out men so very much like
him and telling her their names. "That's Fives," he gestured to a man with long
hair talking to a blonde man holding onto a boy's hand. "Rex is also easy to
distinguish and Barin is his son." He pointed to another man. "Djinn. Dare is
with him." He noted Cass' uncomprehending look. "Dare is the skinny one. He had
a broken jaw and couldn't eat until today. We all have instructions to make
sure he's being fed."
"Jesse," she asked in a soft voice, "How do I tell you all apart?"
He was quiet, his face twisting in thought. "I don't know. We just know each
other. I've been told it's recognition of facial expressions and micro-
patterns; that because we were all raised together we've learned to distinguish
each other simply based on the way we stand or how we move or a basic facial
expression. Some men will be easy. Like me." He gestured to the tattoo that
covered half his face then paused as Riposte came up to walk with them to the
barn. "Chopper's easy, he has scars. Jester, of course. The commander has a
scar on the outside of his left eye. Fives has the tattoo."
"And the hair," cut in Riposte, understanding their conversation. "Sinker has
light brown hair and a beard. He doesn't talk much because of aphasia. Most of
the others, you'll just learned."
Jesse nodded in agreement. "Ask Sketch. He's been talking to Saria and Suu a
lot. Maybe he can offer you some clues. Suu and Numa said there are differences
in everyone's voice also."
"I spoke with Edge," cut in Riposte. "He says we're all on the same team. You
will be playing today, won't you, Jesse?" Riposte's eyes looked sad, even to
Cass, and she realized he expected Jesse to say 'no'.
She turned to him and squeezed her arm tight around his waist. "You will," she
added. "Please. I'd love to see you play."
He gave a half-smile at her request. "I guess so." He blushed as she stood on
her toes and kissed him on the cheek.  She had kissed him before, but this was
in public, in front of so many brothers.  Riposte gave both of them a big
smile.
"You can sit near Sketch," Reposte said then turned slightly and gestured to
another man, indistinguishable to Cass' eyes. "He said he'd be happy of the
company and he'll explain the rules.  He has the same seneth tattoo above his
eyebrow that Edge has."
"Be careful of his leg, Cass," added Jesse. "He walks with crutches and his leg
gives him a lot of pain." He released her hand as Riposte pulled on his arm
towards the barn. Cass could make out the crutches on the other side of the
seated man. She breathed in relief and muttered. "I'll need to keep notes."
"Then Sketch is the one you'll want to talk with." Riposte had caught her
mutter. Cass blushed but Riposte and Jesse just smiled at her. "He keeps flimsi
and paper in his pack along with… you'll just have to see, Cass.  Come on,
Jesse, Edge saved us each one of Aureki's treats." He turned to Cass, "Edge
wants to know if you can make tashki."
"I know what it is," replied Cass. "I suppose I can find a recipe and give it a
try."
Riposte grinned. "That would be great. I'll happily volunteer to taste all your
experiments." Jesse smacked him on the arm. Riposte amended his sentence. "We'd
all be happy to taste."
Cass laughed; Riposte was so anxiously happy and she gave him a kiss on the
cheek. He and Jesse disappeared into the barn and Cass turned toward the man
sitting on the hill.  She paused, wondering how much pride she would have to
swallow to be around the Lawquane women.  She'd do it, for her men but it
wouldn't be comfortable.
The man on the hill, Jester, saw her regard and waved her over. He had a
friendly, welcoming smile on his face and it was easy to smile back. She hoped
it would be easy to keep the smile.
===============================================================================
Suu had walked up to stand at Sketch's side but she looked at Cass. "Will you
come with me, Cass? Just for a moment?"
Cass rose, glanced worriedly at Sketch who nodded reassuringly. Suu led her a
slight distance away, under a shady tree by the barn. Suu glanced up then
turned to Cass. "Someone is usually in one of these trees. They don't mean to
eavesdrop but it does happen."
"I'm sorry, Suu." Cass apologized. "For not being more neighborly. For flirting
with your husband."
"No, Cass. I'm sorry." Suu looked down at her hands and shook her head. "I've
always been protective of Cut. Without … "she frowned, looking for the words,
"without trying to prevent him from doing things. There's a bounty on him, you
know. He's wanted. They're all wanted."
Cass reached a finger to the cut on her face and remembered why she had it.
Then she remembered Kix taking her hands and putting them back into her lap.
She stalled the movement. "I know." She looked at Suu. "I really thought Cut
and Jester were twins. We seemed so far away from the war and it never occurred
to me they might more anything more. Even when I saw Rex and the others, it was
from a distance and I only saw family resemblance."
Suu nodded. "It's why I was rude to you. To minimize meeting strangers so there
was less danger for Cut; for Jester when he decided to stay and for the others
when they visited.  I never objected to you flirting with Cut." She smiled. "He
enjoys it as much as they all do. I just did not want you to find out he was a
clone and the easiest way was to make sure you weren't welcome."
"I thought it was the flirting." Then Cass nodded. "I'll have to be doing that
also now. Won't I? Not letting other people know."
"Yes," Suu took her hand. "I will help you in that as much as I can, my sister.
And it is I who apologizes."
"I understand why, now."
There was friendly silence as they walked back to Sketch, watching the game.
One man took another to the grass. To Cass they looked almost identical.
"Nicely done," yelled Suu and the trooper turned and gave her a pleased grin.
"Yes, sir," he bellowed to her as he turned back to the game, deftly avoiding a
tackle from another man who's only identifying characteristic was his shaved
head. Suu chuckled as Cass sat back next to Sketch.
"Shy will be staying on Saleucami. He's..." Suu bowed her head. "He's not
really healed."
Cass frowned. "He looks …" she paused. "You mean in the head, don't you."
"He's scared and retreats into trooper mode, into being more of a soldier than
usual, at anything he hasn't confronted before. He needs to stay with his
brothers, in situations that don't change much."
Cass snorted then hid her mouth with her hand, slightly embarrassed at the
unladylike behavior. "That describes farming on Saleucami, all right." Sketch
smiled at the snort.
"Never knew women did that." He turned back to the game and Shy. "Cody says his
mind has shattered; that he had probably been reconditioned, maybe more than
once. We have no idea how or why he deserted.  Or even if he really did. They
liked torturing him almost as much as me." Sketch's voice was soft with
compassion then he smiled up into Suu's face. "It's good he'll have a home with
you, Suu." Then he turned his open expression toward Cass. "What about you,
Cass? Will you be wife to all of them or will you choose only one?" Sketch
asked softly as he held his hands up, one to each woman. Cass took his hand and
sat back down next to him. Suu clasped his hand for a moment then let it go.
She'd be returning to Cut at Jester's house. At Edge's request, she'd only come
to talk with Cass.
Cass' eyes widened. "I can keep them all?" Suu muffled her laughter and Sketch
didn't bother. That got them a glance from another man, scarred and holding a
baby, sitting next to a Zeltron woman whose skin was a rich red color. He
smiled at them then turned his attention back to the baby and the woman. He'd
been one of the first men tackled out and Sketch said he'd only wanted to sit
next to Sula and hold the baby.
Suu squatted next to Cass, speaking. "Most of them are brothers in ways we
cannot imagine. I have more admonishments that Cut needs to have brothers with
him than I have received offers to 'share'. In some ways they are afraid they
will never be seen as anything more than copies. It took a long time before Cut
truly believed that he was an entire human; with original emotions and
thoughts, even a soul that belonged to him and wasn't just some tiny portion
split among a million others." Suu shook her head.
Sketch nodded even though his eyes were on the game. "Cody tried to teach us
that in prison." He reached out absently to rub his thigh. "I don't think we've
all learned that yet."
"It was hard on Cut, on both of us; that could have been eased if he'd had
someone to talk with who'd had the same experiences as him." Suu looked around
at the men surrounding them; most playing the game, others like Sketch, merely
observing or already tagged out. "I don't think that will be a problem with any
of these men. They'll be staying here or leaving in groups. Only Cody has
suggested traveling on alone and both Cut and Rex are trying to talk him out of
it." She gestured to a laughing man in the game and Cass observed him. He had a
slight scar around his left eye and his dark hair slightly more graying than
most of the other men.
"He's the commander, isn't he?" Cass asked, turning to Sketch. He nodded and
Cass continued quietly, almost in a whisper. "I think Jesse is already planning
on going with him. He said something about a commander always needing a
second."
"I'm glad to hear that," Sketch said. "It would be good for both of them. Jesse
as much as Cody."
===============================================================================
Saria sat on the other side of Sketch. She didn't say anything, but neither did
Cass. Sketch put his left arm around Saria's shoulders, took Cass' hand in his
right hand.
"You're both nervous, you know," he commented watching Boil make a grab at
Edge. Edge twisted, leaving Boil behind. "Cheer for Edge, Cass. That was an
excellent move he just did."
Cass yelled and slapped her hands above her head. "Yea, Edge! Edge!" The grin
on his face became wider, though he didn't turn to look at her. Two more men,
the long-haired Fives and the previously pointed-out Cody, were on his heels.
"I believe he's showing off for you, Cass. Keep your eye on him, I bet he's
leading them into an ambush." Sketch's words proved true as Edge pivoted on his
foot, taking Fives to the ground, even as Riposte grabbed Cody, wrestling him
down. This time Cass didn't need to have it pointed out to her. Cass jumped to
her feet, clapping. "Woohoo, Edge! Yea, Riposte." Both men grinned. Cody and
Fives shook their heads as they went to commiserate with the other players,
already tackled out, sitting by the boundary line.
Cass sat down again. "I'm sorry, Saria. Chymdura told me that you said you were
through with Jester and when he came by that day, and," she shrugged. "I
thought it was true."
Saria blushed. "I did tell Chymdura that. I was angry and upset. I would come
home and Jester would decide to go on a run even before I sat down." Her jaw
firmed. "I meant it, too. That weekend I moved out. Then I found out that you
were pregnant."
Cass opened her lips with a small frown, but Sketch squeezed her hand warningly
and she merely licked her lips.
"I was too angry at Jester to ask but I assumed that he'd been running to you
on all those runs he'd been taking when I'd come home."
Cass shook her head, but again Sketch squeezed her fingers lightly.
Then," Saria spread her arms out to encompassing the field and all the men as
she breathlessly rushed through her words. "Then Jester told me that I'd be
needed here. Then I found out that Jester thought I was having an affair with
Chymdura. Then I found out I was pregnant and I found out I still loved Jester.
Then," Saria paused and glanced at Sketch with a smile. "Then I proposed to
Sketch and it was the very best thing I ever did."
"Was than an apology, Saria?" asked Sketch.
Saria sighed. "No. Just a convoluted explanation. I am sorry, Cass. I will make
a public apology anytime you want. I got angry on mere assumptions. At least
you were acting on information that you'd been given. It was wrong by the time
you got it, but that was my fault."
Cass nodded. "That's a lot to go through."
"Jester and I will be opening our marriage to Sketch later. Maybe to others. I
don't know yet; he and I need to discuss it. We messed up because neither of us
would talk to the other. Will you want to visit Jester? I told him that I
didn't think I could tolerate that," she paused. "But I think I can now." She
gave a twisted grin. "You're not the bad guy I thought you were."
"I don't think so, Saria. Jester is kind and wonderful but I think my guys will
be keeping me busy." She smiled widely, suddenly reminiscent of Edge's
expression during the game. "I've been told I can keep them all."
Saria and Sketch laughed, Cass joined them after a moment's thought.
 
***** Grain *****
 
A_Trooper_and_his_Commander
Cody looked out over one of the fields the men had been working on. Tiny blades
of wheat were peeping up from the dark soil. Djinn had told him there was a
physical pleasure to the soil, in working it with your fingers. Baffle said the
hard work made for sore muscles but you could see what was growing.
Shy had simply stood and smiled. He was in worn trousers so faded Cody didn't
know if the original color had been black or blue or something more festive. A
long strip of red and yellow patterned cloth belted the trousers tight around
his waist. His chest was bare and getting darker, tanning as they all did even
in the faded light of Saleucami's sun. His feet were bare, most of the men
removed their hard boots to work in the fields. Shy kept his hair militarily
short, no styling to it at all, simply short.
"It's a beautiful color, sir. Living green." Then he had knelt and brushed his
hand over the tiny green shoots. "They tickle and I can…" His voice had
softened. "I can sort of forget."
"I'm glad, Shy," Cody said softly. He'd unintentionally terrorized the man when
Shy had first come to prison. "Will you be ok here on Saleucami?"
"Sir, yes, sir." Shy came to attention and Cody bit the inside of his cheek.
After several years in prison and a couple of months on Saleucami, Shy still
came to sharp and perfect attention like a new trooper fresh off Kamino; not
the time-worn attention a man gave in battle and not the insulting, forced
attention everyone else had developed in prison.
How many times have you been reconditioned? Cody asked himself again. He'd
asked Shy once and would never again ask that question of any man. Shy had
curled up in a fetal position and whimpered, crying for several hours. Kix had
finally coaxed him with strokes and pats, almost like an animal, before Shy had
stopped trembling. Cody hadn't been able to get near the man for several weeks.
For once, Shy offered a little more. "This isn't where I use to be. Not, not,
not the place with the water."
Kamino, thought Cody. Three 'nots's? Perhaps he'd been returned there three
times, three reconditions. Ah, kriff, Shy.Shy always tried to be helpful. He
tried to tell, tried to explain.  They all knew that, but no one could really
understand when he tried.
"And not the hard-fist place or the loud noise places. Crystal. Noses. Plate.
City." Shy moved his hands, anxious that Commander Cody understand.
Prison, battlefields. Cody sucked in his lips and nodded. It was hard talking
to Shy because the more you spoke with him, the more you realized what he had
lost. The other men had progressed, the other men had fought to gain and retain
human dignity. Shy's battle had been lost long before he ended up in prison.
Cody wondered if he'd been like this as a trooper and wondered how a squad
would treat him. Crystal could be Christophsis. Noses: His mind wondered for a
short time. Geonosis, maybe? Plate? Not a clue. City could only be Coruscant.
Tentatively, he asked. "You were always outnumbered? Weren't you?"
"Brothers. No brothers. Brothers here." Shy shrugged but he licked his lips and
clenched his fists as he did when stressed.  Kix had told Cody that.  He'd told
Cody a lot of things that only a medic could get away with.  He'd told Cody
that he'd beat him senseless if he ever did anything like that again. 
Shy's shoulders were stiff and he'd start to stutter if Cody pushed him any
further. Then he'd run or cry or get that expression in his face like he was
bleeding inside, like he was dying slowly and knew it. Cody backed down; he
didn't need to know what Shy himself couldn't explain. Gently he set his palm
on Shy's shoulder as Kix had told him; an unconscious signal that Kix had
integrated into Shy. Shy relaxed.
"You're right, Shy. You have brothers here. They're good brothers to you.
You're a good brother to them."
"This is a good place, sir, for my brothers. All of it. I can protect them."
Shy's face twisted in some inner anguish. "If you… If you trust me to do so."
He looked down at the dark soil. "I like here," he whispered, his breathing
fast and shallow, as if voicing his choice was forbidden.
Cody nodded, not yet able to speak for the pain of the man. He looked out over
the field sprouting green. "Of course, Shy. I can't think of a better man to
assign than you. To protect them, to help them, to be family."
Shy puffed up in pride. "I'll report to the captain daily." His face fell and
became uncertain at Cody's frown.
"Which captain, Shy?" Cody asked, trying to soften his frown. Surely he
couldn't mean Rex? Rex would be going back to Shili.
"Captain Suu, sir." He relaxed again at Cody's smile and Cody's hand on his
shoulder.
"Of course, trooper. I forgot you were assigned to her."
"I'm glad they finally put some women in the army. I'm not scared anymore. You
can't be scared, not really, when you've got someone who loves you."
Cody smiled and bent to brush his hands over the new growth of delicate, green
plants.
 
A_Father_and_his_Son_II
"I don't understand it, Cut." Suu's voice was angry and she stalked the living
room of Jester's house as he rested on the sofa. "He's out in the fields all
the time. He doesn't even come to the yard to eat; Djinn or Riposte usually
take him something. You're his father, Cut. The only father he's ever known.
Why doesn't he come to see you?" There were tears in her eyes. "When I see that
boy…"
"Don't." Cut's voice was soft. "Don't do or say anything, Suu. Don't go looking
for him. Just let him be and don't be upset on my behalf. It's enough that I
understand and, when I am better, I will go to him."
"What is it, then, Cut?" She turned her body stiff and angry toward him.
Her husband only smiled at her. "That's between him and me." He held his hand
and, when she took it, pulled her down to cuddle next to him.
It took three more days before Cut could make it to his own house and his own
bed. It was another three before he went to look for Jek. He felt weak and
walked with a cane. He had a feeling he'd never again feel as strong as he'd
felt before, as if the virus had killed something in him.
Suu hadn't told him which field. She had, in fact, thought Jek would be out in
the various fields equally, but Cut knew which field.
It was Cut's first field. Suu had several other fields, but this was the first
new one in several years, the first in their plans of expanding. She had given
it to him and he had planned it during the winter. Now Cut was looking forward
to the new work. He was starting to consider himself a farmer but he couldn't
do that without understanding farming. He had claimed that field to make
himself a farmer.
He'd begun by researching during the mild, cool winter of Saleucami. He decided
he would hand-plow it. Suu told him he could use the tractor, but she had also
told him how it was done before tractors and he decided to try that. Cut had
made a plow, simply to prove he could. Jek had sat nearby while he forged it;
the six-year-old occasionally running for more wood for the fire or water for
Cut. The first line of the field, Cut had shovel-dug. Suu had said that had
been done before plows were invented and, at the end of the day, Cut was glad
to metaphorically raise a glass to the unknown inventor of plows.
For the remainder of the field, he harnessed up one of the older eopies. Suu
had said the old eopie didn't have the strength to do a good job and Cut had
laughed. "I'll provide the strength, Suu; she's just to make sure at least one
of us has done this before." Jek had watched for a while then Cut had asked for
the boy's help and set him up on the crossbar, providing more weight to push
the plow into the soil. The soil had been fine and moist and black. It hadn't
needed much of Cut's strong arms and he began to understand farming wasn't
necessarily an endeavor of strength.
By hand, Cut had gone through the plowed field and removed any rock the size of
his first or larger. There had been several large boulders which Cut had
relocated by harnessing the tame, old eopie, giving the reins to Jek and
pushing the stone on a sledge while Jek guided the animal. Together, he and Jek
had made a game of it, throwing the rest of the rocks at a target. Then Cut had
used the tractor to disk the field, rake it and tilled it further. He'd used
the eopie manure as well as the rich soil from where the old nuna coop had
stood. He had taken algae and overgrowing pondweeds and tilled them into the
soil. Each night he had updated Suu on his progress and what he planned for the
next day.
Jek had thrown the first handful of grain onto the waiting soil. When the wheat
was a luxuriant mat of soft green blades, Cut had held Jek on his shoulders,
letting the boy have a man's view. His response had been gratifying.
"Wow!"
Cut had chuckled at that. "It's our first field; yours and mine. How do you
think it looks?"
"It looks great, dad." It had been the first time Jek had called him that and
Cut's knees trembled.
"I'm proud of it, Jek. It's the best thing I've ever done and we've done it
together. I think, when I die a long time from now, I'd like to be buried
here."
Jek had hugged him tightly around the neck.
Cut found Jek where he thought he might, sitting on one of the bigger boulders
that had come out of the ground almost a decade ago, looking over the bright
green carpet of seedlings.
"Willing to share the rock?" he asked. He didn't want to admit he needed it,
but his legs were weak and his body shook after the walk. Without looking up,
Jek moved and Cut took his place, thankful he'd placed the stone in the shade
of a tree so long ago. Jek handed up some water and a bit of bread stuffed with
nerf steak from last night's leftovers.
The field was a carpet of green, like so long ago. Cut could tell it had been
thoroughly and carefully worked. "It looks good, son. I don't think I've ever
seen a field tended so well."
"Thanks. Dad." Jek tried to keep a hard face. He'd been practicing but Cut saw
the tiny quiver of his lower lip. "I made sure this field was the first planted
and that the water was even. Made sure it was perfect; stayed out the first
couple of nights to keep the insects and wild nuna from getting the seed. Give
it a chance to sprout. I did this field." Jek dipped his head and looked down
at his sandwich. "The other fields, they look pretty good too, but your
brothers helped. This one, I did." Cut saw a tiny tear slide from the corner of
Jek's eye.
Suddenly, Jek's face squeezed in pain, his lekku twisting in agitation. "I was
so afraid, dad. So afraid that you'd die and be gone forever. That I'd never
understand. I was scared that if I looked at you it would be the last time and
I'd never see you again. I was scared that if I started crying, I'd never stop.
I was scared that I disappointed you."
"You've never disappointed me, Jek." Cut put his hand on Jek's shoulder.
"Never! I am so proud of you. Death is hard to face, Jekl. No one has ever
faced death without being scared."
Jek crumpled then; hitting the ground with his knees as tears rolled down his
face. He slowly turned into Cut's arm, his body shaking as he held Cut around
the waist, his face buried into Cut's chest.
Cut's arms came around his son and his face nestled between the boy's lekku. "I
love you too, son. When I was in Issuya, I was afraid my heart would break at
not being able to see my family again." He rubbed Jek's back then spoke softly.
"A long time ago, I thought this field was the best thing I'd ever done. At the
time, it was and I'm still proud of the work we did on it together. But times
change, Jek. Looking back on my entire life from right now, you're the best
thing I've ever done."
 
Rex
Rex stayed busy during the days. Mostly he played with Barin. Sometimes with
Barin and Echo and Aureki, sometimes with Barin and his brother clones, but he
always played with Barin. He'd run and climb trees with his laughing son. He'd
answer questions for his son or at least try. "Da, do bugs have teeth?" "Da, do
worms get married?" "Da, do clouds go to sleep at night?" He helped Barin say
remembrance each night at dusk; reciting his own remembrance and the men who'd
died under his command.
He sparred with his brothers and taught the younglings fighting skills. He
asked Kaver, who'd been a sniper, to evaluate and train Jek in shooting when
the boy had proven an apt pupil on blaster. He and Echo discovered Shaeeah was
quick and accurate; with Dare's assistant they taught her both knife-throwing
and knife-fighting. Dare went a step further and showed her how to manufacture
a variety of bladed weapons – starting with chipped stone.
Numa – Rex threw his hands up in defeat at teaching Numa. Waxer and Boil had
done an excellent job. She was as good as most of the troopers in anything
except where their muscle mass triumphed. Boil had only smiled, "Give her time,
Rex, she will outfight you in time." Rex didn't doubt it. He tried to teach her
to handle two blasters but she was hopelessly right-handed. She said she would
practice until she became adequate. Rex expected her adequate would be like
Boil's or Waxer's adequate – as near perfect to make no different. Even Cody
had to admit defeat when he finally played scouts seek with her and came back
to camp with his name written on his back.
Rex soaked in the thermal pool with Echo and Aureki. Edge or Chopper or Djinn
sometimes took the boy to give his parents some rest. Rex spent hours with
Aureki, sometimes holding her in his arms while she took a nap, his hands
pressed against her belly, feeling his child move. Once he'd put his head to
her belly and heard a tiny, quick heartbeat. He helped her prepare meals along
with Suu and the perennial assistants, Backup and Checkout.
He continued listening to the histories of the men. Riven finally, haltingly,
sketched out to Rex what he wouldn't tell Sula; what kept him from getting
cleared. It was a story so very similar to Jesse's. "Tell Sula," he advised
Riven. "It's not something you can hold inside and the longer you try the more
it will hurt you. It's the horrors we do to other people that haunt us."
Rex and Cody sketched out ideas and briefed the men as talk coalesced into
plans. It was nothing grandiose. Mostly, he and Cody wanted the men to have
lives. But, if they could … somehow … convince civilians to see the Imperial
Army clones as individuals. Numa had smiled and glanced at her nerra. Waxer had
sighed softly and Boil had merely nodded his head. There were other plans to
build a firm foundation for rebellion; Cody with his command training and
Advance Recon Commando Echo were in charge of that training.
At night, Rex waited.
At dusk, Rex would hand Barin off to Echo, sometimes both men putting him to
bed or holding him while Aureki told a bedtime story. Rex would give his
brother a tight hug. "There's no better brother I could have had, Echo." He'd
kiss Aureki good-night and tell her he loved her before leaving her to Echo's
bed.
Rex would then climb up the small hill where the flyer could land, where he and
Echo had waited before for their wives, where they'd brought his brothers to
freedom on that first night. He'd watch the stars or drowse lightly. Sometimes
he'd have tears in his eyes, never quite sure why. Other times he would feel
exhilarated.
Occasionally Echo or Cody or one of the men would come and sit with him for a
while. There was always someone out, usually one of his brothers keeping watch
for drifters. They were fewer drifters now and they were usually loners, ones
who had survived the virus. While the men carried a blaster, they usually
didn't have to use them. They often sat with Rex, but only for a short while,
as a break from keeping watch.
Rex knew Ahsoka would return to Saleucami as soon as she could. He waited in
faith and hope and love.
The grain was knee-high to Rex before the quarantine ended, before the port
opened up, before Ahsoka came home to his arms
 
***** JAAC *****
 
Ahsoka sighed deeply as she gazed on the misty planet motionless in the
absolute blackness of space. To one side were several imperial destroyers as
well as a few other trade ships. "Saleucami is still quarantined and we're
attracting attention by orbiting for so long." Ahsoka softly rubbed her belly.
Echo's daughter 'rubbed' back and she smiled for an instant then her mien
became serious again. "Imperial attention and that could get deadly."
"Then we'll have to go somewhere else and wait. Shili or Zeltros or even back
to Dantooine." Saoha leaned back in the co-pilot's seat. "No matter how
attractive their captain."
It was a joke. The captain on the destroyer who warned them away from landing
on Saleucami each day and answered their questions was a clone. Ahsoka nodded
slowly, thoughts of her family in her mind. She took a breath and opened her
mouth.
"I don't either," admitted Saoha. Ahsoka's lips quirked into a wry smile.
"Do you always…" Sometimes Saoha and her Zeltron empathy could be very
exasperating, particularly after being isolated in the ship for several weeks.
It also made them more attuned to each other. Very handy to have in an
emergency. It was a whisper from the Force.
"Usually," smirked Saoha. "But I'll try to behave myself." Suddenly she was
serious. "We can go where you wish. I have no real opinions except Saleucami as
soon as the quarantine is lifted. I miss the men. Zeltros might be a bit close
to the Core for comfort, but I have extended family there who would welcome
us."
Ahsoka nodded. "Saleucami as soon as it's open. But Dantooine doesn't feel
right, neither does Shili. Neither does Zeltros." She glanced at Saoha. "Which
men?"
"Is that the Force speaking?" Saoha tilted her head and grinned. She couldn't
feel beyond Ahsoka, but she could feel Ahsoka touch the Force. "All of them."
"I think so," murmured Ahsoka. "Except my husbands, Saoha. You'd better not
miss my husbands."
"Go meditate on it, then. When the universe gives you a message, it's probably
a bad idea to ignore it. I'll pull us away from Saleucami and closer to the
Corellian Run. That goes just about everywhere. The Imperial ship will see that
we are following their orders and Captain Cutie will breathe in relief at our
departure." Saoha flicked several switches on the console.
Ahsoka laughed softly. Long familiarity with the clones had taught her their
facial expressions. Captain Cutie, as Saoha called him, was always glad to see
the beautiful Zeltron, loved hearing her voice and amazed that she flirted with
him over the ship-to-ship holo. He'd bend the regulations as far as he could
for her. But he wouldn't break them and if they tried to break quarantine by
landing, he would order them destroyed. "Captain Cutie will be desolated at
your departure."
"Then we must call him and let him know that we will return." Saoha smiled as
she considered what to say then she turned to Ahsoka. "I miss them all, my
sister," she said softly. "As lovers, as brothers, as friends, as men requiring
attention, as strength to our arms, as warmth to our bodies, as ease to our
souls. When we return, I will be speaking with Fives and Sula about adding to
our family." She giggled and waved her arms in mock-surrender at Ahsoka's
glare. "Though not Rex or Echo."
"Good," smirked Ahsoka. Saoha was like a sister; bubbly and so very different
from her own calm sister, Aureki. Soon, once again she would need to meditate
on the Jedi stricture against attachment. It no longer applied to her, but it
was an intellectual effort to understand it; to understand its ramifications.
To understand why attachment had made it easier for the Force to reach her and
yet had caused her former master to turn… She shook her head to clear the trail
of those thoughts.
Ahsoka moved into the cabin she'd taken as hers. It didn't take her anything
more than sitting, relaxing and taking four deep breaths. She didn't know the
name of the planet, just that it was hot and dry and how to get there; and that
somewhere on that planet a clone's soul was crying, bleeding into the Force,
dying by increments.
===============================================================================
Jaac sat on the corner, Bird in his arms, calculating the amount of water his
family would need for the night and how much he would be able to afford with
the small coins in the cup. How much the homemade condenser might pull from the
dry air. At the discrepancy, he started calculating how much less he could get
by with for another night. He tried to form saliva around the smooth pebble he
had slipped under his tongue but there wasn't enough liquid in his body. He
hadn't had the liquid to urinate for almost a day. He sighed deeply. He
couldn't go another night on so little. He estimated he was at four to six per
cent water loss and was already experiencing symptoms of dizziness and the
tingling of paresthesia in his arms. By tomorrow morning he'd be at ten percent
or higher. Convulsions began at ten percent.  He couldn't do that to his
children.
A Thvenyan, one of the saurian natives of the planet, dropped a coin into his
begging bowl. He bowed his scarred head in thanks and reached his hands up to
take the malediction; she was one of his usuals. She turned away, pulling the
scarf over her face so the bad luck would forsake her. She came often and Jaac
knew her luck was almost as bad as his. "Z'dsh pah yar," he murmured.
Scars were anathema on Thvenya and burn scars the lowest; humans were the most
pitiable because human skin showed the burn most vividly. Jaac had been told
that his burn scars were given by the god Z'dsh and indicative that he was
permitted to take on their bad luck.
He began recalculating taking the small coin into consideration.
Kierzon ran up to him, breathless, a bag slung around his shoulders. Jaac
closed his eye in disbelief. Stealing was a criminal act, harshly punished, as
Kierzon knew. He'd been caught before. Jaac had tried to convince him not to
steal, but times were bad. Times were always bad. They'd get worse if Kierzon
was caught stealing. He wasn't considered a child anymore.
"Give it to me, Kier." Jaac reached out a big hand for the bag and set Bird on
his lap. Maybe if it was in his possession, they couldn't punish Kierzon,
they'd punish him instead. Kier handed it over, a tentative smile formed on his
face.
"There's water, Jaac. She was a spacer, just off the port, and water-fat. I
heard them say they would be leaving in the morning." Kier dug into the bag and
pulled out a bottle, then another, still hesitantly smiling. "There's almost
enough for you tonight and they won't notice the lack if they're leaving
tomorrow." His eyes pleaded with Jaac. "No one injured." That was Jaac's major
rule: no one injured.
"Except you if you're caught," growled Jaac through a dust-coated throat as
reached out his hand and clasped Kierzon on the back of his neck bringing them
face to face. "Don't do this anymore, my son. Please." His voice was a whisper.
"You need this," Kier paused. "Papa."
Jaac closed his eyes. Kierzon called him 'papa' so rarely. Kier remembered his
real parents, his real name, what life had been like before; unlike Bird,
unlike Nac and Nub who'd been so young when Jaac had found them deserted and
exposed in the park. They hadn't remembered their names.
And there was nothing Jaac could do except to continue begging. As far the
bureaucracy was concerned, he didn't exist. The jobs he would have gladly taken
didn't go to humans and didn't go to men with scars. He rubbed the back of
Kier's head.
"My poor little family," he whispered. Jaac had no grandiose plans, no plans at
all except protecting his family and trying to getting through the day. He dug
into the bag and pulled out some flimsis with notes and a smaller bag
containing odds and ends as well as some credits. "Is there any way you can
return this without her realizing you stole it?"
Kierzon flushed as he shook his head. "I snatched it off her shoulder."
Jaac grimaced. "Outside security camera limits?" Kierzon nodded. "Then we'll
need to get rid of anything identifiable." Jaac frowned; in another man it
would draw his eyebrows down, but Jaac had lost those in the funeral pyre.
His fingers had found something familiar as they combed through the small bag.
He pulled out a medal; he saw the red and gold ribbon, the rounded diamond
shape of a medal of bravery. The muscles in his face began twitching in some
combination of pain and anger and grief. Kier looked away as he popped the seal
on the water bottle and pushed it into Jaac's free hand. Jaac clenched it and
sucked down the water in two deep gulps.
Kier didn't ask, not anymore, about when his father had worn white armor;
Jaac's face would twist in pain and his eyes would tear up. He'd have
nightmares that scared the younger children. They scared Kierzon also because
after Jaac would calm the younger children with an excuse and a song, he'd go
back to his sleeping spot, face the wall and weep silently, his arms covering
his head and his body shaking.
"May we have the bag back?" It was a woman's voice and by Kier's frozen
reaction, Jaac knew it was the woman he'd stolen it from.
Jaac looked at her with his single eye. She was Zeltron, a sunset pink, with
darker hair and beautiful. Zeltrons were empaths, he remembered from his
training. She didn't seem particularly angry that her bag had been stolen; she
had a slightly bemused smile on her lips. Perhaps she was listening to his
need, to the needs of his family.
He brushed that thought aside. He'd never met anyone, save his Kamino brothers,
who had ever cared about his needs. They were dead now. Even those who tossed
coins into his bowl did so to pay Z'dsh, not to help Jaac and his family.
Jaac glanced around for someone with her. A woman this beautiful, this lovely
and seductive had to have a man with her. Most likely she was with someone big,
mean, jealous and tough. There was no one else nearby, unless Jaac included an
even smaller Togrutan woman with the round belly of pregnancy. She stared at
him oddly; less at his scars than at him. He wondered if she recognized him for
what he was. Most people saw only the scars.
He kept back the medal but carefully returned everything else into the little
bag and then put that into the larger bag and included the second bottle of
water.
She shook her head and reached into the bag. "No, that was for you. I could
tell how thirsty you are." She pulled the bottle out and handed it to Kier then
turned back to Jaac. "But my husband's first medal is very precious to me and I
will want that returned."
"You're lying. This is a GAR medal. Pre-Empire. And the only men in that army
were clones." He snarled the last word. Her husband had never been in that
army. Who would want to marry just a copy? "The Jedi killed us then and now the
Empire kills the few remaining clone stormtroopers." That last word, also, was
snarled with hate. He twisted the red and gold ribbon between his fingers,
rubbed the bronzium between his fingers. "Unless your husband was CIS and took
the medal off a corpse."
She looked at her companion then back to Jaac. "This conversation is getting
too interesting to continue here on a street corner." She raised her eyebrows
in question. "Shall we go elsewhere?"
Jaac wanted to ignore her but he glanced down at the medal in his hand. Once
he'd had one similar and he vaguely wondered what had happened to it.
They waited for his answer and it was that politeness which made his answer a
nod of affirmative.
"Lunch for me and my children." Maybe it was too much. He backed down a little.
"I know a place where it will be cheap."
"The Togrutan woman chuckled. "Is that a place where we'll want to eat?"
Jaac frowned and gave her the truth. "No. but it is cheap and they let me eat
there."
"How many children?" asked the Zeltron woman.
"Four." Jaac answered weakly. It was too many, he knew. "But I'll forgo lunch
and Bird here," he gestured at the little girl. "She doesn't eat very much."
The Zeltron woman shook her head. "All of you, certainly. And a decent enough
restaurant."
He looked down at the yellow stone. "I'm not allowed in decent restaurants." He
gestured at his face; the burn scars, the missing eye and ear then to the
little bowl of coins. "I'm bad luck and they pay me to take theirs away."
"You seem to have had some bad luck." That was the Togrutan again. She glanced
at Kierzon and Bird with a smile. "Good luck, too, that I can see. The same as
anyone." She glanced at the Zeltron woman with an eyebrow upraised in question,
then turned back to Jaac. "There's a park nearby, isn't there? We can go there.
Saoha and your oldest son can go for food and bring it to the park.
Acceptable?"
Jaac nodded and turned to Kierzon. "Take her to Belko's. While she's waiting
for the food, you get Nub and Nac. They can help carry."
He glanced at the Togrutan woman. For all that the other had been more
interested and said more, the Togrutan's body language and manner said she was
in charge.
The Zeltron nodded. "We'll make sure to get plenty of water."
In the park, Jaac had to sit with his back to the path so no one would come
upon his scarred visage unexpectedly even though he'd drawn the dark scarf to
hide most of the burn on his face and shoulder. He could feel his skin crawl at
being in the unprotected place but otherwise the authorities would toss him out
of the park and fine him.  He couldn't afford a fine.
Still, the women, their names were Saoha and Soka, had bought a good amount of
food and water. There was more than enough for hunger and thirst, even some
sweet sticks for the children. There was more than enough water for two more
days.
"She insisted," Kier had murmured to him. "I didn't ask."
"She an empath, Kier. She can feel how much we need it." Jaac hoped she didn't
have a motive beyond her own discomfort in his presence.
They ate together while the sunset pink Zeltron excitedly told them tales of
the space ways. Even Kierzon listened with wide eyes and Jaac was pleased at
that, please that Kierzon could be a child again, if only for a short time. It
was almost enjoyable, almost like what he thought a family should be like.
"Your turn," the Togruta smiled as they packed up the remains of lunch. Most of
the food seemed to end up at Jaac's side along with the water. "Saoha has been
talking all through the meal and I'm interested in hearing your story."
"It's not much of a story." Jaac looked down at the flat stone they were
sitting on. It was yellow sandstone, the bedrock of the entire planet.
Soka shrugged. "Begin in the army."
Jaac glanced over to his children. Kier was playing with Bird while Nub and Nac
were chasing each other. They were laughing. He closed his eye and leaned his
head back
"When did you realize I was a clone?"
"The instant we saw you," replied the sunset pink woman.
Jaac chewed his lips, frowning. "If you give my children six thousand credits,
I'll go quietly with you."
The Zeltron looked at him quizzically. "Where would we…" she began but was cut
off by the tired voice of Soka.
"Bounty for a clone, Saoha," the Togrutan said softly. "Is ten thousand
credits.  I doubt if your husband ever mentioned that."
"I won't fight you," Jaac continued, his belief that there was a Mr. Mean-and-
Tough confirmed. "It will be an easy capture with no chance of injury or death
and…"
Saoha cut him off with a hiss. "No! That is not…." She calmed as Soka rubbed
her shoulder gently then continued speaking to Jaac. "For the moment, Jaac.
We're simply interested in your story. How you came to be here." Saoha reached
out her hand to his, but he moved it away from her touch. She sighed.
He didn't believe them. They probably had locating transmitters and Mr. Mean-
and-Tough was closing in on them. That was probably the reason for the park. By
law he had to have his back to the path. He shivered.
"We came off Kamino all cocky, ready to beat back the CIS, ready to die for the
Republic, for its peoples, its principles." Jaac looked down at his hands. "The
Jedi generals hated us. Mostly we were assigned to Rancisis. A little with Vos.
I never figured out why they hated us. None of us did. We were their tools,
their weapons, the means for victories but they treated us…" Jaac raised his
hands palm up. "None of us understood. Even now, I don't understand why he
hated us."
"Not all the Jedi were that way. I understand that General Kenobi and his
Commander worked very well together with mutual respect. Captain Rex of the
501st was also reputed to have excellent relations with his Jedi general and
commander. General Secura and Commander Bly as well."
"Propaganda. It couldn't have been anything more than propaganda. To think that
a Jedi would treat a clone as anything other than a meat droid. I was glad to
pull the trigger when the Jedi went traitor."
He saw the Togrutan flinch at that. Then she put her hand to her belly. "Sorry.
She's very active these days."
Jaac inspected her. "Does it hurt? When it moves?"
"Not really," replied Soka. "But sometimes it's unexpected."
"Does it ever hurt?" He asked as his single eye caught hers. "Do you know how
it goes all the way or is this your first time?"
Soka blushed, turning a vibrant orange. "The last two weeks are miserably
uncomfortable and giving birth hurt but it was a relief also." She smiled. "You
welcome a stranger into your home who will never be a stranger again."
Jaac licked his lips, fear in his eyes. "Does it ever hurt enough to give them
up?" He looked once again at his laughing group of children, now all four
playing some game of tag. Kier glanced at him, a rare smile of his lip and a
question in his eyes. Jaac smiled back at him and gestured for him to keep
playing. "Why did some fool woman give up Bird? And why were Nub and Nac just
left in the park to die?" He turned back to them. "Kierzon's parents died in
the battle but he remembers them and he knows they loved him. But the others,"
Jaac shook his head. "They don't have anyone who loves them."
"They have you," replied Saoha. "And don't try to say you're just a clone and
don't know how to love. I know that's a lie. Even if you aren't sure."
Jaac thought about it, but only for an instant. It was uncomfortable to think
about what might have happened to Bird or to his younger sons. Death by
exposure, by dehydration and sunstroke, was a cruel death. Why hadn't their
caretakers been kind and merely broke their neck for a swift death.  Though, in
the end, Jaac was glad they hadn't.
He shook his head and continued where he'd left off. "There weren't many of us
originals in the company after Order 66, but we were optimistic about what was
coming." Jaac rubbed the back of his hand against his face and his eyes got a
distant look. "A more naive bunch of kids you can't imagine. Kier could have
told us what would happen next."
"Nothing improved." Soka's voice was kind. "It just got worse, didn't it?"
"The new commander didn't hate us. We didn't inspire that much emotion in him
at all. Most of my brothers were dead. Slain by our Jedi general in useless
endeavors. The few of us that remained tried to stay together, but the new
commander split us up among the others." Jaac winced. "He said we were all the
same. He took away our names, our colors. They looked like us, Kamino clones.
But..." His face twisted. "They were different." He looked around and shrugged.
They were listening and there was something womanly soft in their eyes.
Compassion? Pity? He shifted uncomfortably, not use to undivided attention, not
use to a woman's attention, not use to anyone listening to him.
"Five years ago, we came here to battle. There was a reason but I don't
remember what it was. I do remember that I didn't care for it. By then there
was only me, Nub One, Nub Two, Nac and Sergeant left of us originals in the
company. Everyone else was one of the new guys. In spite of our orders, we
managed to group together during battles. We'd get demerits," he shrugged, "but
that didn't matter to us anymore. This time we were around Sergeant who'd taken
a blaster wound to his lower back and was slower because of it. That confused
us for a while. Sergeant never turned his back to the front lines and we
figured maybe there was a sniper behind us. Nub One was point. He walked into a
wall of blaster fire and our helmets clicked him dead before he hit the ground.
Nub Two was bringing up the rear and he figured it out. The new guys weren't
trying too hard to avoid shooting us." Jaac shrugged again. He wasn't anything
more than a leftover clone. "They didn't aim for us; they simply targeted
whatever was in front of us without much regard for our safety."
"I'm sorry." The Zeltron put her fingers on his arm. This time he didn't move.
Her fingers were cool and moist on his arm; welcome in the hot dry air. "I'm
sorry you had to experience that betrayal."
Again, Jaac shrugged. It was all in the past; almost as if the experience
belonged to someone else, besides she'd betray him as soon as Mr. Mean-and-
Tough arrived, but maybe they'd take him up on his offer. He expected a
counteroffer, maybe four thousand for his children and he'd accept that. Kier
was young, but considered an adult, and he was smart. He'd take care of the
younger ones.
"So we had to keep moving forward while making sure to stay out of line between
the rest of the company and the enemy. Sergeant didn't make it. He got shot
twice more from behind then took a blast in the chest. A little time in bacta
and he could have survived any of those wounds, probably all of them. The medic
didn't answer our call, said he was busy." Jaak rubbed his chin. "He probably
was, he was our last one. Nub Two took a hit in the leg and couldn't stand. So
we left him, we'd be back. A seismic shell hit him before we'd gone fifty
paces. Neither Nac nor I could stand being shot at by our own company, so we
charged the enemy. Straight forward, straight on. We both went down."
"They left you behind?" murmured Soka.
"In a manner of fashion." Jaac shook his head slowly. "We won the battle.
Afterwards, the company built a funeral pyre for our dead. Apparently they
don't send bodies back to Kamino anymore. I was concussed pretty badly but I
was conscious. I moaned. I moved my arm. I kriffing grabbed one of them around
the wrist! And they still threw me on the pyre. I think Nac was still alive
also. At least, I heard someone crying. They didn't even stay to watch."
Jaac stopped speaking for a while then he put his hand to his face, his fist
against his forehead then nodded toward the older boy. "Kierzon pulled me out
of the fire." There was so much more, but Jaac was silent, lost in his misery.
The Zeltron turned toward the other woman. "Soka." Jaac recognized the tone of
voice. She was pleading, though for what, Jaac didn't know.
The Togrutan's face was hard and she shook her head. Saoha got a stubborn look
on her face and turned back to Jaac.
"Jaac," she began. "Every time you say Nac's name or Nub's; or when we say your
name, you radiate the oddest emotion. Can you tell me where those names come
from?"
Jaac shrugged. "It's what the Jedi named us. Jaac. Just another anonymous
clone. Nub. Non useful body. Nac. New annoying clone. It's what Rancisis named
us. Six names for the entire company.  I was actually Jaac 14." He shrugged
again. The Togrutan woman paled slightly, a look of consternation on her face.
"Why did you fire on the Jedi?" Again the question came from Saoha.
"I hated him." Jaac replied truthfully.
"Would you have fired on other Jedi?" she asked softly. "On padawans –
younglings in training? On children?"
"Now? No," he shook his head. "There's too much experience between me and the
guy I used to be. Back then? Yes." He turned his head down the pathway. They
didn't know it, but the remains of the funeral pyre were in the park, several
klicks further down the path. "How could we be expected to act as anything
other than what we were made to be?" He asked and they could hear pain. "We
gave them everything. What did they want of us? What more could we have given?"
There seemed to be an argument of looks and glances between the two women. Then
Saoha turned, once more, toward him.
"Jaac, if we took your children someplace where they'd be safe and as happy as
they could be without you, what..."
"Whatever you want." He replied quickly. "I haven't killed anyone in a long
time, but I'd take out anyone you wanted dead. I'd go for the emperor himself
if that's what you asked. I'd sign myself over as slave to you. It's legal
under Thvenyan law. I'm strong, smart enough to learn almost anything, and have
a good fifteen, maybe twenty years in me. Depends on what kind of work I'd be
doing." He scowled. "I can't think of anything else you could use me for, but
if you have better ideas, I'd do it."
"How easy would it be to get you and your children on a ship in the port?" It
was the Togrutan; she seemed the more pragmatic, in spite of losing whatever
argument had passed between her and the Zeltron, in spite of her angrily pursed
lips.
Jaac thought deeply then sighed. "I wouldn't try stowing away; there are five
of us and the chances are remote that we'd make it. My penalty would be death.
I'm not a person. Same with Kier, he's an adult. The others – maybe they'd be
marked into slavery, maybe exposed. So it would have to be legally." He glanced
down at the sandstone boulder. "We go to city center and I sign all of us over
to you as slave and minor children of a slave. There's a fifty credit
registration for me and ten credits for each child. There's no identification
required, they 'print me right then and there. There is a day's wait before you
could ship out, in case I'm insane and have escaped from some asylum.  They
check that." He shrugged. "What idiot but a madman would confirm himself as a
slave?" He was quiet, seeming to have second thoughts. "Take care of my
children and I'll be loyal to you for the rest of my life. I'm worth the
credits."
Soka smiled, though her voice was sad. "We know you are, Jaac."
===============================================================================
Two things surprised Jaac.
They didn't treat him as a slave and there was no Mr. Big, Mean, Tough or
Jealous.
There were four cabins in the ship and they'd given Jaac and his family two of
them. Soka even offered her cabin, saying she would sleep in the big bed in
Saoha's cabin if he wished. Bird seemed to like Saoha and she volunteered to
keep the child in the cabin with her and Soka.  Jaac declined both offers.
The moment the flyer hit hyperspace, Saoha handed him the papers that made him
a slave. To their consternation, Jaac declined those as well. "It's an
agreement. Legal and binding to all parties. You'll take care of my children. I
will be your slave."
"Oh, dear," murmured Saoha.
Soka laughed. "We'll let," she paused then shrugged. "We'll let our husbands
figures it out."
They were fed well, there was water whenever they desired and Jaac wept as he
took a shower instead of wiping parts of his body with guwy and clean sand as
he'd been doing for the past five years.
The children had played in the water, laughing and splashing, but Kierzon had
come out of the shower round-eyed in amazement and fear.
"Papa," he'd asked quietly, his light brown hair damply curling on his neck.
"What is the cost?"
"It's been paid, Kier." Jaac spoke in the ship's evening as Nac and Nub drifted
to sleep with drowsy eyes. Bird was curled up by the pillows, already asleep.
"But what is the cost?" Kier insisted in a low voice to not wake his sibs and
Jaac would only shake his head.
"I'll make it worthwhile, papa. I will." Kier vowed knowing the cost was too
high for Jaac to tell him.
Jaac hugged one arm around KIer's neck. "I know you will, my son."
Jaac kept away from the navigation console, he didn't want them to think he had
any plans beyond what he had promised even if the Zeltron could read his
feelings. Kierzon was interested and kept them busy with questions only
occasionally listening to Jaac's admonishment to 'not bother them'. At least
they weren't angry and patiently gave Kier grounding in flight navigation and
procedures. Jaac hoped they would let Kier have some sort of higher training,
he was smart.
As they came upon a planet, Soka asked him and the children to go into the
rooms. She smiled at Kierzon. "You can stay in the co-pilot's seat, Kierzon,
but stay out of the way of Saoha. She has a call to make over the holo to the
destroyer circling the planet." She smiled. "I think it's over, but we'll find
out soon."
They went into Jaac's room; Nac and Nub playing with a droid ball and Bird, as
usual, in Jaac's arms.
The heard the holo and Jaac jerked as he heard, for the first time in five
years, the voice of another clone. He looked at Soka and she nodded. "We can't
let them see you," her voice was gentle. Jaac had half-believed they would turn
him in anyway.
They heard Saoha's laughter. "Thank you, captain." Her voice developed a purr
and Soka put her head in her hands, her fingers covering her face. "You know,
Captain," Saoha's voice went husky and Soka, sitting next to Jaac in the cabin
was shaking and bit her hand.
"Are you alri…" Jaac asked as quietly as he could.
"Fine," the Trogruta whispered through a grin. "Listen."
Saoha continued. "I've really enjoyed our conversations."
"All by the book, ma'am," replied the clone on the holo.
"Of course, Captain Cutie. By the book. I appreciate the news you have given
me." She turned off the holo with a chime of silver laughter. "All is well, my
sister. Captain Cutie has given us leave to land."
"They're open." Soka's voice was soft with relief as she took over the pilot's
console. "The port is open and the epidemic is over." She glanced over to Jaac
with a mild frown. "Was it all just to get you?" He didn't understand what she
meant.
Then she turned back to the console and her hands moved skillfully over the
keys as she spoke to ground control. She angled the flyer down into the
nighttime shadow of the planet, towards the darkness of rural areas.
"Jaac, please make sure everyone is secure. We'll be doing a rolling loop
shortly. Then we'll be on the ground." Jaac caught the anxiety in her voice,
her worry about the epidemic. He remembered that she had at least one child
already born and a husband she had mentioned. He tousled Bird's hair as he
locked her in the seat. He could understand her fears.
There was a man waiting there when they landed, Jaac could see the outline of
him in the dimness. Soka ran to him and he met her halfway with open arms,
bending his head to hers, only the short-cut blond hair distinguishable in the
grey darkness. Jaac heard laughing sobs but didn't know if they were Soka's or
the man's.
"We could run now, papa," whispered Kierzon as he gestured to Saoha making her
way down the hill toward some buildings. "They're not paying attention."
Jaac shook his head as he watched the Zeltron make her way along an obvious
pathway. "I've made a bargain. Besides … She's Zeltron, Kier. She followed your
emotions from the port to me without knowing us. Now, I think she could follow
us almost anywhere on this planet. The other one, Soka, she's fast." He paused.
"When I wore white armor we called something that fast 'Jedi-quick'."
"Sa!" called out a voice and Saoha paused, looking to one side of the path.
Suddenly there was a man there, giving her a hug and a soft kiss and laughing;
picking her up off the ground into his arms. She was laughing back and hugging
him.
Jaac brought his fist to his lips. That voice. It was Sergeant's voice, and
Nubs' and Nac's. It was the voice of his brothers. He looked back to the man
holding Soka. He heard other voices, familiar voices, in the trees nearby.
"Riven, go tell Fives and Echo. They're in the house. Sketch, too." That was
from the man holding Saoha.
"Someone let Cody know." It was another voice, high in the trees.
"I'll go to Jester's." A man, the same voice, was already moving quietly in-
between some large rocks.
Jaac looked back to Soka, his mouth open in confusion. She was holding hands
with the man, wiping tears from her eyes. The man, tears in his own eyes and a
wide grin on his face as he drank in the sight of the Togrutan, was a clone in
spite of his light blonde hair. Jaac dropped his chin warily. He could be one
of the new ones. There weren't too many of the originals left that he knew of.
"What's your designation?" He asked harshly before the other clone could say a
word.
"My name is Rex." The blonde man replied, laughingly. "My name is Rex."
 
***** Epilogues *****
===============================================================================
 
                                     ARMOR
Rex_&_Cody
"I'm going home, Cody. I've been fighting all my life and I'm tired of it." Rex
smiled as he handed Cody his gear bag and the helmet from the ship's cargo
area. "I suspect you'll need this."
"You'll still need to fight I suspect." Cody ran his fingers over the old phase
1 helmet. Even modified and remolded in places, it was trimmed in the royal
blue of the 501st. Had Rex left that as a message for those with eyes to see?
The Jaig eyes Rex had earned on Kamino had been elongated. Cody twisted the
helmet. At different angles he could see the Jaig eyes, at another angle they
became the horns of a mythosaur.
Rex nodded. "Home is Shili for the moment. It's a beautiful, fierce place but I
don't expect the empire to ignore it for long."
Cody handed back the helmet. "You'll need the armor, Rex. It's only a matter of
time."
"We're not supposed to have time." Rex chuckled. He pushed the helmet back into
Cody's hands. "No. When the Empire comes, I'll use whatever I have. Most likely
we'll leave the planet as a family." He shrugged. "What happens then…? You'll
need the armor before me and more than I would." He laughed softly. "Echo has
his and we'll share."
He glanced down the slope to the front yard where Barin was playing with Keeli,
Bird, Nac, and Nub, where Echo was holding Aureki in one arm and Ahsoka in the
other as they sat on the grass watching the children. "We'll use whatever we
have." He looked at Cody, sadness in his gaze and bit his lip. "You should go
with someone. I can come…"
Cody laughed and set his hand on Rex's shoulder with a shake. "No, Rex. You
have family. If you came with me, Echo and Ahsoka would soon follow and then
Aureki and she would hate always moving. Never mind the children." For an
instant he thought of Barriss and Gree and the tiny potential of humanity that
had been destroyed and felt the beads heavy on his wrist. He gave Rex a half-
grin. "I won't be going alone though."
Rex put his hand over Cody's on his shoulder. "That's good, Cody. We weren't
made to be loners. Who is going with you?"
"Jesse."
"I don't know if he's…" Rex grimaced. There's an incident in his past…"
"I know, Rex. He told me. He told me about not passing his psyc and he's told
me about Elarlu Cihon.  He had Sula and Saria talk with me about his mental
stability.  Cass and that little family has been good for him. He isn't self-
destructive and I think coming with me will be," Cody spread his hand,
gesturing to the land around them. "As good for him as the peace that's here."
Cody looked out toward the fields, then toward the thermal pool where Baffle
was planning a new home. "He'll have this here to look forward to, but I don't
think he'll come back."
Rex shook his head in agreement. "Not to stay, anyway but convince him to
return occasionally. You too."
Cody nodded as he ran his fingers over the rough surface of the helmet. Deep
gouges looked as if something had grabbed and gnawed on it. "Looks like it's
been through some battle."
"Nah, those are just stylistic modifications to make me look imposing for
hire." Rex grinned and Cody laughed, knowing there were untold stories to this
armor.
He glanced up into the mirror of Rex's eyes. "I've heard rumors. Rumors of
rumors and smoke and mirrors. I'm going to Mandalore."
"Not Tatooine?" Rex looked surprised.
"Why would I go there?" He grinned. "I'm not one for bounty hunting or
bodyguarding the Hutts."
"To see…" Understanding dawned in Rex's face. "No one's told you," he
whispered, mostly to himself. "Sit down, Cody. This will be a surprise."
Cody sat, the armor thigh plates in his hand.
"You're not as good a shot as you think."
"No surprise there," grunted Cody, mildly wondering how the armor would look
with a thin strip of gold along the blue. Definitely a message for those
seeking.
"You missed General Kenobi."
Cody's expression didn't change but his fingers stopped where they were on the
armor. "Kenobi's alive?"
Rex nodded. "Echo and I went to see him when … well, about a year ago." Rex
looked down at the ground. "I was being a sheb-headed di'kut but he and Echo
were almost old friends by the end of that afternoon."
Cody shook his head softly. "He didn't try to kill you? For what you'd done?
For what we all did?"
Rex pursed his lips sourly at being reminded and rubbed his hands. He brought
up the subject. "He's a forgiving sort of man, I think. But to him, we were
just two clones looking for a padawan. You were his commander. You were…" Rex
paused, wondering if he'd guessed right. "You were friends."
Cody nodded his head sadly. "A traitorous friend who missed killing him by his
good fortune alone." He looked at the helmet face on, seeing only a sliver of
his reflection in the slit visor. He nodded, a sad expression on his face.
"Tatooine, then. To apologize." Cody gave Rex a smile which didn't reach his
eyes then a mirthless laugh. "And give him an equal chance to shoot back."
Boil
The hard, harsh man handed Jesse his armor. "Once you find a helmet, you can
set the frequency to match Cody's. But be careful, most of the newer helmets
have passive coding. Undetectable until you hit an Imperial electronic line,"
he was saying as he picked up the chest plate. "I'll tell you what to look
for." He looked at the chest plate for a moment, his hand shaking in the
coolness of the evening, then pushed it abruptly at Jesse. "You'll need this
part too."
Jesse grabbed it and looked at it. A chest plate. Simple, recently painted a
matte gray color before going into Issuya. "Of course I'll need it," he began.
"Not that." Boil grabbed and flipped the flat piece over in his hand, showing
Jesse the interior of the armor. "That."
It was a picture, childish and brightly colored, laminated to the interior of
the chest plate. A Twi'lek child, garishly green, was holding onto the hands of
two armored figures. Behind the figures was a scribble of red-brown stones; in
front of them were lines of blue and green with blossoms of orange and yellow.
Jesse had been on Ryloth. He'd seen its deserts and knew the value of water
there. It was a touching picture even if crudely rendered. He was still for a
moment.
"You can remove the picture," he said to Boil. "Keep it for yourself." His
finger reverently touched the inside of the chest plate. It was smoother on the
face of the Twi'lek, as if Boil had touched that portion many times before.
"I'll do that if you don't want it." Boil waited.
"I like it." Jesse's voice whispered. "It's… it's right."
"It was home." Boil said. "For me anyway. It was always home; where there was
Numa." His finger touched the picture, perhaps for the last time, then drifted
to one of the troopers then the other, "and Waxer and me." He smiled and looked
at Jesse. "I thought you might like it."
"I do, Boil. Thank you." He swallowed hard. "I think I'll ask Sketch to put a
picture of Elarlu inside the back plate." He looked up at Boil. They all knew
who Elarlu Cihon was now. Jesse had told everyone his story. "Sort of pushing
me onward and having my back all at the same time."
Boil nodded. "I think that would be a good idea."
"Thank you, Boil."
 
                            Considering the future
                                        
Late_Night_Contemplations
Quad was still breathing hard when she laughed, her cheeks flushed with
pleasure, and playfully rolled him onto his back, kissing his face, his lips,
even his hair. Her laughter started his and he was chuckling, his chest moving
as she clung to him.
Quad's arms came around her, holding her next to him, enveloping her in his
warmth. She looked at him, love in her eyes so evident, he caught his breath,
emotion so intense it was painful to see.
He soaked it in.
Quad wondered if he could even wait a year to ask her to marry him; he'd talk
to Cut tonight or tomorrow about his plan. He loved Shaeeah, he knew that now.
"Anything, Shaeeah, anything for you." Quad whispered softly against her cheek.
===============================================================================
Quad entered Jester's house by the kitchen door. Cut was there at the table, a
surprise given how weak he still was. Quad immediately decided to escort Cut
back to his house. He could talk to him then; let him know he loved Shaeeah;
that he'd work the fields and wait a year to propose then build her a house and
wait another year before he married her.
He glanced around, wondering if this was one of those meetings. It would
explain Cut's presence. Rex and Cody were also there as well as Kix, Echo and
Jester. The new guy, Jaac was also there with his son, Kierzon. They had been
trying to bring him up to speed. The smell of caf scented the air.
"Sorry for intruding." Quad began. "I can leave…"
Cody interrupted him. "Not an intrusion, Quad.
"That part's over," chuckled Rex with a nod at Jaac. "Now we're just talked
about life and women."
Quad grinned. "Good subjects. I was just going to cook myself a late-night
breakfast but I'd much rather have a caf and Suu's bread and jam with company."
"You can have my chair," offered Kix as he stood and rinsed his mug then set it
to dry. "I'm off to bed. He smiled. "I have an actual bedroom. All mine. Sketch
is helping me work out a wall design." He glanced shyly down at the floor.
"Like we used to do to our armor."
"I'd like to see the design before we leave." Rex took another sip of his caf.
Kix laughed. "Want to make sure it's 501st blue?" He moved toward the back of
the house. "It is, captain. It is." The men laughed in pleasure, all save Jaac
who was too new to laugh, but even his lips curl up as he ducked his head and
whispered something to Kierzon.
Quad, a mug of hot caf in hand, sat where Kix had been. He reached for a piece
of the remaining bread and slathered it with berry jam.
"How do you know Suu made the bread?" Cut tilted his head and observed Quad
chewing on a bite, his eyes closed.
"The taste," mumbled Quad. "Beside, I saw them baking earlier this evening.
Suu, showing Cass. Riposte and Edge are very eager to have her learn Suu's
secrets. Aureki's too."
Cut laughed, the other men joining in. "I was one lucky clone to land here. She
is the best cook in this sector and I am one well-tended man." He was quiet for
a moment and suddenly turned serious, his fingers trembled. "I was afraid she
would have to put me in the ground." Cut shook his head. "I can do anything for
my Suu," he said. "Except live as long as she wants me to live."
Quad listened, suddenly alert.
"Now, she's going to be putting at least a couple of us into the ground
together." Cut leaned back in the chair, still not quite strong enough to stand
or walk for any distance but too much an active trooper to sit still for any
length of time. He held up his hand and ticked off names on his fingers.
"There's me. Edge has already said he likes Saleucami and wants to stay. Shy
isn't going anywhere. Jester's staying. Saria will be taking care of him and
Kix, but I can't see Suu and her not helping each other. Probably Cass too.
Jester says Sketch will be coming back. Baffle and Riposte have taken a liking
to Cass. How many more men will our family have to bury in the space of a year
or two? Sinker? Jaac? Quad?" Cut shook his head as he looked at each man in
turn.. "That will be one hard year. The death of ten, eleven men."
"Don't think I'll stay," mumbled Jaac. "Saoha says there's a river near where
our brothers live on Dantooine."
Cut acknowledged the statement with a nod.
"That's still a lot of men to die so close together." He looked at Cody. "Are
men going to be coming back here to die among brothers, Cody? What about you?
Jesse? Riven? Our kitchen pilots? What if you don't find anything? Are you
going to return to Saleucami?
"Don't borrow trouble, Cut." Cody tore a chunk off the fresh baked bread even
as he pushed the loaf toward Jaac and slathered some jam on it. "There are a
lot more things could happen between now and then."
Jaac pulled some bread off the loaf tentatively then reached for the jam,
handing both to Kierzon as he finished. As usual, Kierzon took a single level
dollop of jam. Jester, next to the boy, sighed, grabbed the spoon from Kierzon
and dug it into the jam, dropping the large lump onto Kierzon's bread.
Kierzon's eyes grew round
"We make it, Kierzon. Take as much as you wish." Jester told the youngling.
"Yai-yai is rare. If Dare offers you any, take only a small bit; you don't need
to gain weight and muscle mass like him, but the things we make here – take as
much as you desire."
"Yes, sir." Kierzon's voice was as quiet as his eyes were big. He looked at
Jaac for permission. Jaac nodded and Kierzon smiled. "Thank you, Jester."
Cut's voice continued after a moment's smile at Kierzon. "Cody, I am talking
about the best possible outcome. Losing a brother sooner is not something I'd
prefer."
Rex took a heavy breath. "You're right Cut, but there is nothing we can do
about it except prepare for it." He looked down at the dark surface of his caf
as if peering at the unknown future. "I try to make sure that every day is
wonderful for my wives, I try to make sure that Barin knows I love him. I try
to experience everything as if I can take the memory with me when I die."
"It will break their hearts." Cut spoke in a soft voice, barely audible to Quad
or the other men at the table.
Jester only nodded, pushing the bread aside as if it were suddenly unpalatable.
Quad felt a chill run down his spine.
Anything for Shaeeah's happiness.
Even giving her up? he asked himself.
===============================================================================
                            Was his promise to her?
                                  "Anything."
                    Or was it "Anything to bring you joy?"
Shaeeah saw Quad come out of the barn. He saw her, hesitated just a moment then
strode toward her as she watched Keeli play in the grass.
She smiled at him and it ripped Quad's heart to pieces.
"Hi Quad. What were you doing in the med barn?" He loved her voice. He could
listen to it all day. Sometimes she'd shyly sing a song, usually to Keeli. More
often her voice was filled with questions and considerations. It was filled
with laughter. It was more precious because he'd only be hearing it for a short
time longer.
He looked at her with sad eyes, eyes full of love. "I was setting up my psyc."
He rushed his words, trying to get it over quickly. "I've decided to leave as
soon as my psyc is cleared. I'm going to Dantooine. Ahsoka and Saoha said it's
a good place and there are a couple of other men planning to go when they're
done. Countdown, Kaver." He looked at the grass at his feet, at Keeli then
glanced into her eyes again. "Probably within a five day."
"Would you ever come back?" Her voice was without inflection, without interest,
as if she knew the answer. She was looking down also.
Quad shook his head. "I don't think so."
Shaeeah's head dropped further. "Why not?" she whispered, so obviously hurt.
Quad wanted to grab her, hold her and hug her. He wanted to stroke her face and
tell her he'd stay until he died. He wanted to tell her he had discovered what
love was and it was her. Instead he was silent for a moment. "Because you're
here."
She looked up quickly, surprise on her face, and saw his tears.
"I can't stay, Shaeeah." He gave a lop-sided grin that was half grimace. "And
it's not your parents stopping me. Or how young you are. I could make a good
case for staying here. I could even wait a year or two to satisfy them I'm
serious about you. For you to become a little more grown up, give you time to
explore your choices. It's what I had originally planned."
"Then why, Quad?"
"Because I'll break your heart and I love you too much to do that." He looked
at the grass. "You'd be burying your father and me around the same time.
Putting us in the ground together; far too early. Me and your father. Whoever
else stays. You and your mother. And that's not the way things are supposed to
happen."
He wiped his face with his hand. Her hand was there as well, clasping his
fingers.
"In twenty years, Shaeeah," his voice quivered. "Biologically, I'll be in my
seventies. You won't even be thirty-five."
She stepped nearer and softly dropped her forehead against his chest. "You're
breaking my heart now, Quad."
"I know. Mine too. But this is only a little break, after just a couple of
months. A greenstick fracture of the heart. Imagine after a couple of years."
He sucked in a breath of air. "Imagine after two decades of loving." He put his
arm around her shoulder, gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, barely brushing
her lekku as tears started streaming from her eyes. "Go on inside, love. I'll
watch Keeli."
===============================================================================
Shaeeah ran past Cut and Sketch sitting at the table with their caf, tears
running down her face.
"Shaeeah," Cut called, but she ran up the stairs, ignoring her father's call
and the startled look of Sketch.
Cut turned to Suu at the kitchen door, who looked equally confused for just a
second before she spoke, "She had Keeli."
Cut stood, "I'll find him. Probably one of the men has him." It was common for
Keeli to be passed from one person to another throughout the day.
Cut found Keeli just out the door in the front yard and called back to reassure
Suu.
Quad was watching the toddler, holding him high in the air, the child laughing.
Cut strolled over leaning lightly on the cane.
"Hey, Quad." Cut walked slowly, carefully, on the dew-damp grass.
"Cut." Quad nodded, still holding Keeli, unhappiness on his face, his body
stiffly anxious.
"Would you happen to know why Shaeeah ran up to her room crying?" Cut stood at
a slight angle from Quad, not confrontational, merely curious.
Quad didn't have to answer; Cut saw the answer in his body. Quad lowered Keeli
to the ground.
"Yes, sir." Quad's voice was quiet and Cut raised his eyebrows at the 'sir'.
That word was rare now among the men. "I told her I had scheduled everything in
order to go to Dantooine."
"Why?" asked Cut and Quad frowned at the question.
"Why what, sir? Or maybe, which why?" Again with the 'sir'.
"Let's start with why is she crying?"
"She thinks she loves me." Quad looked miserable.
"Do you think she loves you?" asked Cut, sitting on the bench at the edge of
the porch and gesturing for Quad to do the same. Keeli squirmed himself back
into Quad's arms, and Quad held him tightly, almost like a shield between Cut
and himself.
"She's just a kid, sir. It's just a small infatuation." Quad let go of Keeli,
who'd begun voicing his displeasure at being held so tight. Immediately, Keeli
climbed down from the bench and began inspecting the grass.
"Just a kid?" Cut shook his head. "Less and less, I think of her that way." Cut
put his hand to his chin. "Next why. Why are you leaving?"
"Ahsoka and Saoha say that Col's clan is open to new men. They know we're
clones and still they welcome us. Dantooine sounds like a great place to start
a life."
Cut stared at him a moment, shaking his head. "Quad, I've been my kids' father
for over eight years. They lie a lot better than you do without half your
effort."
Quad lifted his hands in defeat. "It's just an infatuation, sir, on both our
parts. I recognize it and she doesn't. I'm just going away before …" His voice
faded.
"Before what Quad?"
"Before it goes too far, sir." Quad's head was down. He hoped Cut didn't
realize it was already too late. Cut was silent and Quad glanced to see Cut
inspecting him.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes, sir."
Cut sighed. "You realize that she'll probably follow you as soon as her mom
lets her."
"No, sir. She'll forget about me by then." Quad's voice was misery.
"If you say so, Quad." Cut stood. Quad also rose from the bench, watching Keeli
pulling blades of grass.
"I have one more question, Quad."
"Yes, sir?"
"How far is too far? Should my daughter go see Saria in a couple of weeks?"
Quad's eyebrows pulled down in honest curiosity. "What for, sir?"
That should have been an answer, but Cut remembered how naïve he'd been.
"Pregnancy, trooper. Is there a possibility my daughter is pregnant?"
"I … I.. don't know," replied Quad hesitantly. He looked at the ground. "I
didn't think of that, sir. I'm not totally sure how that happens, sir.  Kamino
cut a lot of non-essential training to get us out in the field early."
Cut groaned; mentally reminding himself to have a talk with Kix to ensure Kix
had a talk with everyone labeled 'Essential Training; Social Relations with
Civilians' or 'How Women Get Pregnant!'
"Pregnancy happens, Quad, when little brother meets little sister."
Quad turned pale. "Every time, sir?" He asked softly.
"No, not necessarily every time." Cut replied. "It's not that cut and dried for
humans or most humanoids. But I will take that as a yes, Shaeeah needs to see
Saria. What are you going to do Quad, if Shaeeah is pregnant?" Cut thought he
saw a glimmer of hope, of freedom, on the man's face.
Quad nodded. "If she is pregnant, I'll stay here on Saleucami, sir. I'll marry
her if you'll let me. I'll take care of her, take care of the baby." Quad
looked almost happy through his misery. "If you'd let me, sir."
Cut sighed. "We'll worry about that if it happens. At the moment, if you're
serious about going to Dantooine then I'd suggest you minimize seeing Shaeeah.
It might make it easier." He looked at the man with compassion. "On both of
you. Talk with me or, if you must, my daughter, before going to Dantooine.
We'll see what happens then."
===============================================================================
Cut climbed the stairs holding tightly on the banister. Suu was outside
supervising Checkout and Backup clean up after breakfast and Shaeeah should
have been helping them. Sketch had told him she had come down a couple of steps
and pleaded not feeling well. "She was crying, Cut." Sketch had said.
Cut knocked on her door. He'd been proud to make his son and daughter separate
rooms with solid walls and doors that shut properly instead of hanging
blankets. That had been when they were young. Shaeeah, at least, no longer
counted as young. Cut wondered if he was now 'old'. There was a strangeness to
think that his daughter could be pregnant at the same time Suu was.
"Shaeeah, it's Cut. Let me in, please." He heard sobs, but he also heard her
footsteps. She opened the door, her face pale and her eyes dark from crying. He
took a step inside and shut the door behind him, holding out his arms and
hugging her tightly as she started to cry again.
"Shaeeah, I've been talking to Quad." She was immediately still, listening to
him. His big hand softly rubbed her back. "There is so much I wanted to say
before something like this happened. So much I thought you needed to know that
I was hoping your mother would tell you because I certainly don't know it.
Instead, I'm only going to say if pregnancy is a possibility, make sure to see
Saria. Quad seems to think it's possible, but he's not sure. They left out even
more of his training than they did of mine." He heard a snuffle-y laugh against
his shirt. "Have her see me, not Suu. We'll discuss it further and with Suu
when we know for certain."
Shaeeah sniffed, her face against Cut's chest. "I'll go ask Ahsoka today but I
don't think so."
"Is that enough time to know?" Cut suddenly realized he might benefit from a
class as well.
Shaeeah nodded. "She'll touch me and know. Quad and I, we've only done it
twice."
"Not every day?" asked Cut, "When your mother and I …." He shook his head. "I
couldn't get enough of your mother." He smiled. "I still can't."
Shaeeah smiled. "We know that, dad. Quad and I like to talk a lot. We prefer
kissing and hugging at the moment. Anything more is still a little scary for
both of us." She rubbed her tears away and kissed him on his cheek. "Thanks,
Cut. For being our father."
"I wish I'd known how, Shaeeah," he answered softly. "All I ever did was love
you; love all three of you the best I could before Keeli arrived. I am so
lucky, my girl, that you and Jek taught me how to be a father. I'm just getting
use to it and neither you nor Jek are children anymore."
 
                          Social Interaction Training
Kix looked over the men gathered in the barn. Ordered by Cut, Kix and Saria as
well as the rest of the women, every trooper was present.  They were seated on
bales of hay or leaning against the equipment or even on the floor, elbows on
their knees listening intently. Edge, Baffle and Riposte were in Edge's loft,
paying attention. Sketch was in one of the cots, his leg stretched out before
him covered with a blanket and his crutches at his side. Chopper was sitting
next to him on a bale of hay, both men with slight frowns of concentration. Jek
had been straddling one of the sawhorses with Kierzon but when Kix had begun
speaking Jek had rolled his eyes and left the building. Kierzon elected to stay
and listen along with his father. Rex and Cody stood by the door, making sure
none of the clones followed Jek.
Even Cut was there, "Updating for new information," he had teased as he leaned
the chair back on two legs, setting the cane against the wall beside him. "You
can never learn enough about women."
That had settled any worries of the men. If Cut was there and Rex and Fives –
who were all married and had children – then there was no reason for the rest
to feel foolish.
"Any questions?" Kix looked around expectantly. Most of the men were red-faced
and blushing. Kix's lecture had gone far beyond what Kamino had ever presented
to only some of the ex-troopers. They had finished the biology, the mechanics
of the act, much earlier in the morning. The last hours had been on the
psychology, on understanding and pleasuring another person. There was a
moment's silence as the men glance around, wondering how much their brothers
had known of … all that. Kix suspected that most of it had been a surprise to
the men.
"Does satisfaction affect a woman's probably of pregnancy?" Countdown asked.
"Whose satisfaction, Countdown? Sex should be an act for the pleasure of
everyone involved. Even if it's just yourself." Kix had smiled gently at the
men.  "Without a man's satisfaction, pregnancy is less likely but still
possible; think on that my brothers. A woman's satisfaction has only minimal
effect on her ability to conceive."
"But you're saying that …" Kayl glanced around at his brothers, slightly
embarrassed. "That pulling out doesn't really make a different."
There weren't nearly as many chuckles or smiles as Kix would have thought and
that made him even sadder at his brothers' lack of knowledge. He was glad Cut
had suggested this class and wondered what had been the impetus. Even he'd had
to read up and talk with Saria before presenting the information. He had wanted
to be ready for any possible question but Saria had laughed at that conceit.
"Not much of one at all," agreed Kix.
"Does that mean," Riven asked softly as he frowned, "that in carrying out Order
37 it is possible…" He couldn't continue and looked at the ground, aimlessly
scratching at the packed soil with a twig.
"Yes, Riven." Kix looked at all the men. "Anyone who carried out Order 37 in
regards to the interrogation of female prisoners possibly impregnated a woman
and may have offspring. Assuming the woman was not terminated." He paused.
"However, consider the planets where you carried out Order 37. It is unlikely
for a child to grow up in those war-torn places." His eyes became sad. "It
is very unlikely for a child to survive whose mother was filled with hate or
disgust at the trooper who raped her."
Edge turned pale. "But children are … " he moved his hands as though trying to
juggle. "Everything," he finished in a whisper.
"Sex is a physical act with major emotional repercussions, Edge.  What woman
would want a daily reminder of war, of what had happened to her against her
will?  How could she look on a child who, very likely, would only remind her of
her tormentors? If she has another child and only food for one, which one
survives? As men, we have our thoughts and beliefs about sex and children. 
Women's thoughts and beliefs can be very different. That's why I'm speaking to
you.  Women are not just small men and the obvious differences are almost
nothing compared to the invisible differences."
Edge had pushed himself back, into the corner of his loft and out of sight of
most of the men.  Kix didn't recall if Edge had ever enforced Order 37; he
didn't think so.  Most likely Edge was crying simply for so many children who
would never live.  Baffle had moved back to sit beside his brother for comfort
but Riposte merely nodded with a hard expression as he continued listening,
collecting information for their family.
"A woman touching you is indicative that she's interested, right?" Checkout's
voice broke into the silence.
"A woman touching you while looking at you and smiling in regular social
contextis indicative that she's interested in getting to know you better.
Taking it for anything else will get you in trouble." Kix smiled at Checkout
knowing he had asked as much for lightening the mood as for information.
"What about standing up?" Backup murmured.
"In what context, Backup?" Kix pointed out. "It's easier for enjoyment in
small, confined places like closets."
"A woman can't get pregnant if she's standing up, I mean."
"Yes she can and it's far more comfortable to use a bed."
"How old before a child becomes a woman?" This was from Waxer, probably
gathering information to forestall Numa's open plot to marry him and Boil when
she turned sixteen.
"In humans and most humanoid races, there is about a year or two of transition
similar to ours back when we were seven. Just later and longer." There were
smiles from the men as most remembered old friends and loves, remembered
youthful experimentation in the youngling barracks back on Kamino. "Usually
around thirteen but it does vary. Check local laws for a basic guideline and if
you still aren't sure then she's too young.  However, simply because a young
woman is able to have sex and enjoy it does not mean having a child is a good
idea. There are higher risks associated with pregnancies of younger women.  Add
a handful of years."
"Then why ensure a woman peaks if it's irrelevant?" That was Checkout again.
"If you can't figure that one on your own, I may have to walk out in disgust."
Kix raised an eyebrow and waited. Cut was chuckling softly and Rex, his lips
contorted, tried not to smile as he stared down into his now-empty mug. Echo
was beside him, his hand over his mouth, his eyes closed. Fives was stifling
laughter. Kix watched as, individually, each man's eyes blinked as he
understood. Kix looked up at Checkout. "OK, Checkout, answer your own
question."
Checkout blushed and replied in a tone of total confidence. "So she'll feed
you, too."
It took a while for the laughter to die down. Sketch nearly fell out of the cot
pounding Chopper's back and Cut did fall out of the chair. Kix merely stood in
front of the men, a palm over his eyes.
"As good a reason as any," Cut chortled as he rose with Rex's help.
"What's the best reason then, Checkout?" Kix asked, a little softer. as he
moved his hand from his face.
"So she'll want to stay with you and have sex with you more frequently."
"I liked 'she'll feed you' much better." That was quietly spoken from Dare and
barely heard by most of the men.
"Gotta have priorities," grinned Chopper and Dare replied with a small smile.
Dare was still thin but no longer the skin-draped skeleton he had been.
Cut shook his head and interjected his reply. "Because giving the woman you
love such pleasure is joy in itself."
Rex nodded, putting his hand on Cut's shoulder. "Pleasure is your gift to each
other; a woman's peak is her gift to you.
"I've been told that it isn't necessary all the time; that a woman coming
largely depends on how she feels about you as much as anything else. Don't ever
think you've made a woman come." Kix smiled. "If nothing else, an enjoyable
time for each party encourages her to return to you for more."
"Can a woman tell who is the father of her child? If she's sharing, I mean."
Chopper had a frown on his face.
"With certain tests, yes, it can be determined who is the biological parent.
Without the tests, she is unlikely to know the father until the child is born
and then only if the child looks like one of the fathers. For us, genetically
identical; no, there probably isn't such a test." Kix shrugged. "But if she's
sharing it's a moot point, isn't it?"
"Don't know why he's asking or why I'm here," muttered Jaac with a nod toward
Chopper. "No woman's going to be interested in him or me. Not with our scars."
Chopper gave a short laughing burst and gave Jaac a grin. "I've already been
invited…" He paused and glanced at the ground. Perhaps it wasn't his right to
announce he'd be going into Fives' family.
Fives smiled. "Chopper and Sketch will be joining our family. I welcome them,
but it was Sula and Saoha who did the inviting."
Kix nodded his agreement as did a few other men. "Physical looks make a good
first impression; but first impressions only last an instant. Most women don't
go by first impressions."
"What do they go by then?" That was whispered by Dare and Kix only heard it
initially because Dare had waved to catch his attention.
"Good questions, Dare. What do women go by?" Kix turned to Cut and to Rex. "I
have no idea."
"Ahsoka sometimes runs her fingers through my hair, commenting on its
blondeness simply because it isn't dark like everyone else's. But mostly she
comments that I'm the center of her life." Rex ran his own fingers over his
head. "She grew to love me slowly, I think. Daily interactions, reciprocal
duties, sometimes respectful disagreement, aligned priorities. Sometimes we'd
sit in the med unit with our men without a word but in complete accord with
each other. Sometimes we'd spar, laughing and complementing each other. We
learned each other as commander and captain before the possibility of love
arrived." He looked into his mug with a twisted frown. "I was a di'kut and tore
into her emotionally; I pushed her away because I was afraid of what I was
feeling. I should have apologized immediately." He glanced at the floor of the
barn. "After five years separate and a year together our relationship outside
of the bedroom has its bad moments that go back to me breaking her trust. It
will take a long time to mend it. Maybe the rest of my life." He looked at
them, once again the captain imparting information to his troops, warning them
of the dangers they might encounter. "I will never break that trust again. And
if it does take the rest of my life, it's time well-spent."
There was somber silence as the men considered what Rex had said.
Jester touched the wide, red scar on his face. "Saria and I have had our
problems; but it was never because of this." He nodded. "I listened to her
while she visited Suu, taking her words as important. I went out as her
bodyguard to protect her. She said she felt safe. That seemed so important to
her – to feel safe; both physically and emotionally. Our problems came from a
lack of communication and trust; from not asking each other what was
happening."
Cut chuckled. "Suu hasn't decided to throw me over for one of you. I think she
fell in love because I provided her with help, with physical strength at first.
Sometimes emotional strength when she needed it. I gave her time for herself."
He pursed his lips. "In teaching me she gained her own strength and she's told
me that my trust in her was the foundation of our love."
Jaac frowned; still not quite believing a woman would ever be interested in
him.
Kix leaned back against the wall. "The woman, all of them, have said they will
answer any questions you may think of. Lecture is over gentlemen with Saria's
final words." He grinned. "She said, no matter how much you know about the
subject, an individual woman is always her own mystery."
 
                                   Dantooine
Bekia laughed and Tyrlanya glanced her way. It was a joke or some such between
Bakia and her friends; Hoscynia, Zashari and Aarlwyr. Tyrlanya was their senior
by at least fifteen years. Yet that didn't stop the hurt of Bekia's petty jibs
and her sly remarks.
Tyrlanya sighed and folded up the fine thread. There was no use trying to make
the fine thread when tense. Fine thread was made from happiness. She pulled out
the larger whorl and continued with a medium thread. She could spin on the
wheel, of course, but she had started these while overseeing younglings during
a health check on the bantha herds and they were portable. Being in the thread
house with Bekia was not enjoyable.
It was cool outside; and there was a strong wind beyond the windbreak of the
thread house. Tyrlanya took a deep breath; there was frost in the air. Soon it
would be winter. Adwr, reading the hairy coats of the nerf and bantha, had said
the winter would start mild but turn harsh. Tyrlanya agreed. The first coats of
the yearling bantha were coming in soft; she would make some lovely fine
threads from the first coats; but their secondary coats were just starting to
show geet accumulation. The waxy secretion built up around the individual hairs
preventing the melting snows from soaking the young animals. Geet thread was a
thick, industrial thread and used for fishing line or nets or sewing hides
together. Even the men could spin gleet. Those would be good times in the early
spring; the thread houses full of laughter as women showed the men how to spin
and strengthen the geet by running it quickly through fire. Many marriages and
alliances were begun during geet spinnings.
Tyrlanya frowned. There would be no alliance for her, though. She moved quickly
toward her tent to collect something warmer. She took a moment to admire the
paintings around the entry; two swirled pillars of blue for water and vivid
green for grass. There was a splash of variegated grey and purple for the
mountains of Gwydr leading to a deep black peppered with shining white stars
and a small moon. Her father had painted them long ago, shortly before his
death. Tyrlanya touched the swirl of green she had added and then Bershin's
elegant addition of gold to the green. Meeka had been too young, so her hand
had been colored then pressed to the leather. Family. Dead or scattered.
Tyrlanya sighed and pulled on the long vest of reversed hide; it would keep her
body warm yet free her arms for spinning. She would go down to watch the
younglings milk the cows. Adwr would probably be there, Col as well. Tyrlanya
liked that her foster sister's faith in Col had been rewarded; he hadn't
deserted her. Instead, he had been imprisoned and returned after long years.
Tyrlanya gave another sigh though tempered with a smile. Ehveen's child had
been a lovely little girl and Col had asked Clan Dsayn if he could adopt her
out of the year marriage. The price had been steep but Col hadn't blinked,
simply nodded without even bargaining. Adwr told him he should have bargained;
that Clan Dsayn would have accepted much less; they expected him to bargain.
Col had shaken his head with a smile. "I will never bargain my children." Clan
Dsayn had immediately begun an intricate dance of politics and honor.
Col had said that more of his brothers wanted to come to Dantooine and they
would arrive soon, though Ehveen had told her Col was worried. Besides the
oncoming winter and the difficulty of navigating a flyer around the mountains,
Col was worried about Imperial stormtroopers stopping they flyer. He
occasionally wondered why they were taking so long and had recently begun to
worry more than wonder.
Adwr and Col were both in the milking shed, warmed by the shear mass of bantha
bodies. Adwr was smiling and Col laughing, his arm gently over his son's
shoulders. It seemed to Tyrlanya, sometimes, that Col simply touched his family
to reassure himself that they existed, that it wasn't a dream. Leven and Dub
were the same way, touching their wives or even the bantha or the leather of a
family's tent in similar amazed belief. Col turned to her with a big smile.
"My brothers have made immigration, Tyr. They will be here within a few hours."
He turned to Colehn. "Will you take the news to the thread house and let your
mother and the other women know?"
Colehn nodded with a grin, turned on his toe and was gone.
"I think he is the clan's fastest runner," commented Adwr as he and Col watched
the boy. Col smiled, his chest puffing with pride.
===============================================================================
Bekia, adorned in her festival finest, glanced in Tyrlanya's direction. "Why
she comes, I have no idea." Hoscynia rolled her eyes as she finished braiding
Zashari's hair, giving it a final touch as they moved from the thread house
toward the large empty area Adwr had designated where the flyer would land.
Because I am marriageable age,Tyrlanya wanted to say. She wanted to grab the
younger woman's hair and pulled it out to make thread. She said nothing; Bekia
had the right of it. She was fifteen years older than any other marriageable
woman in Clan Gwydr and there were no men interested in her. She sat on the
bench by the windbreak, suddenly cold. There were no men interested in her. Not
in the tribe and not during festivals. Oh, the men offered enjoyment, the short
partnerships of a week or a month, but none offered anything beyond that.
Col's brothers were different. Yes, they were handsome. They worked hard and
they learned quickly and they loved their wives. But there was a difference in
them, an aloofness, a wariness, a constant watchfulness. Col said it was from
fighting war. From Ehveen, Tyrlanya knew Col had nightmares. Chaynwa had
mentioned that Dub also had restless nights.
Col and his brothers took great delight in having family, they took even more
pleasure in children. Col had Colehn as well as Ehveen's two children from her
year marriages. Dub and Chaynwa had fostered her dead cousin's twins. Leven had
married into Nargwan's family, the largest family of the clan with the most
children; a happy, crowded tent. Even quiet, solemn Pax had chosen a woman with
a child from a year marriage.
Tyrlanya had been at a weaving festival when Col and his brothers had arrived
at High Keep and by the time she returned they'd all been married or chosen
women to court. Not that it mattered, she would have been honor bound to tell
them; if someone like Bekia hadn't told them first.
She stood, hurrying to catch the others on the way to the flyer. Even if none
of Col's brothers would be interested in her, she was Adwr's foster daughter
and Col's foster-sister and she should be there to greet them. Besides, she had
never seen a flyer.
Tyrlanya waved at Col as he went by, Colehn beside him, running to keep up with
his father's long strides and for the joy of running. Col smiled widely and
waved back. Mid-wave he changed the gesture from a greeting to an invitation
and waited for her to meet him on the trail.
"Come on, Tyrlanya. I'll introduce you to my new brothers."
Not that it would help. All men wanted children, the wealth of family. Col's
brothers wanted family more than most men.
Dub and Gekko were running up to the meeting place, both with big smiles. Dub
slowed down as he neared Col. "I've sent one of the older boys out for Pax and
Leven with the news. I'm sure they'd want to be here for the short visit."
"Hopefully they haven't gone too far with the herd."
Tyrlanya kept close to and slightly behind Col. It was only partially kinship
and partially his promise to introduce her. She didn't think Bekia would make a
comment in front of strangers, but lately her words and jibs had gotten
harsher. Hoscynia and Zashari had even criticized Bekia, though only obliquely,
for her words.
The first person out of the ship was a woman with dusty rose skin and hair of
the most amazing purple hue. She wore a skin-tight suit of dull yellow and an
overvest of dark blue. Tyrlanya stared in amazement at the way her skin color
was enhanced by the contrasting cloth. She wasn't a woman who could hide in a
crowd and the colors were glorious. Tyrlanya wanted to weave her.
"Saoha!" exclaimed Dub as he grabbed her and gave her a hug.
Bekia sniffed in disdain.
"Careful, Bekia," warned Col, almost under his breath. "Saoha is well-loved in
our family."
"Share," growled Gekko with a grin, at Dub's side, waiting for his own hug from
the woman. She laughed and drew Gekko into the hug with an arm.
Then came Col's brothers; brothers of Dub and Gekko and Pax and Leven.
Beautiful men, strong and healthy, with the hesitation of newness, with amber-
brown eyes and dark hair, packs or duffles of their few belongings slung over
their shoulders. Though they all wore heavy boots, they didn't seem to have
winter clothing and Tyrlanya automatically catalogued clothing needs,
remembering a cache of her brother's clothes in the tent. She would have to
open up the seams; Bershin had narrower shoulders than Col's brothers. Heavy
winter coats would be needed and she considered possible trades of neighboring
clans. She smiled. Clan Dsayn had been embarrassed by the riches Col had paid,
they would be glad to provide coats.
"Quad, Countdown," called Col with a laugh and a hug for his brothers.
"Welcome, welcome."
Two more brothers came and Dub and Gekko greeted them with smiles and whoops of
greeting. "Kaver. Kayl." One gave a shy smile to his brothers; the other looked
around with satisfaction on his face.
Then came another woman, Togruta and a youngling. They were followed by two
children, perhaps six and nine. Humans, boys, two with brown hair, the youngest
with hair of sun-red and eyes the color of sky and grass.
Tyrlanya's brows drew down at this. Were they bringing children? Younglings?
The sons of Col's brothers? Oh, she could dream, couldn't she?
"Come on Jaac," called the woman.
Tyrlanya noticed Col's frown. He was angry at something. "It's not a good name,
Tyr," he murmured.
The last of Col's brothers came down shyly, his head bowed, to stand next to
Quad. He carried a child, a pretty girl-child. Her hair had been oddly cut, but
she was beautiful in face and hugged the man tightly around his neck.
Jaac was not handsome. He carried old burn scars on most of his face; one ear
was missing and an eye socket was empty. Most of his scalp was hairless and
would remain so for the rest of his life. The scars continued down one side of
his chest and arm, visible under the crossed-laced tunic. Still, his arm was
strong; it was the one carrying the girl, the scars lessened over his neck and
shoulder then ended near his elbow. He stared at the ground, afraid to make eye
contact with anyone, even his own brothers. His shoulders were hunched as
though he expected someone to hit him or push him aside; as though he shouldn't
show his face in public.
"This is Jaac, Col." That was the brother Col had called Countdown. "He's a
recent addition to the family. We've tried to get him to change his name, but
he isn't interested." Countdown put his arm around Jaac's shoulders and
Tyrlanya saw him flinch, then pat Countdown's hand so he wouldn't move it away.
Afraid, yet learning.
Bekia hadn't waited for introductions. Already she was talking, smiling up at
one of the men. He laughed softly. "I won't be looking for a wife for a couple
of years." Bekia's words were lost to Tyrlanya, but Hoscynia gasped as Bekia
rudely turned away.
Bekia walked past Jaac without a glance. The little girl hugged him harder
around his neck, putting her face next to his to soften the rejection. The
older boy grabbed Jaac's free hand, glaring with hate at Bekia, and Jaac gave
him a quick, small grimace. Tyrlanya thought it was a smile of reassurance for
the youngling..
Zashari and Aarlwyr followed Bekia; as they followed her in all things.
Hoscynia turned to the man. "I would apologize for my friend's rudeness," she
spoke clearly and slowly. "But she is no longer my friend." She turned back to
the man named Quad. "So you are not interested in a wife at this time. Could
you keep me a bit of company and tell me about hyperspace? I've never traveled
except by bantha." Quad gave her a smile.
"If Saoha permits," he glanced at the rose colored woman who nodded. "I can
show you inside the flyer and introduce you to more family."
Hoscynia smiled. "I think I'd like that." Col's brother offered her his arm and
they walked up the ramp.
Tyrlanya gave a quick gulp. She pulled at Col's tunic.
"Introduce me to Jaac, Col," she whispered. "He has children."
"I would introduce you to all of my brothers, Ty." Col replied absently as he
started at the ships entry.
"He has children, Col," she repeated with emphasis.
"You are not insulting her?" That was Countdown and it was as much a statement
as a question.
"No, Countdown. Shortening names is actually a privilege of friendship or
family on Dantooine, and she is both. Who else is here?"
"Good enough." Countdown inspected her with those golden-brown eyes common to
Col and his brothers, then smiled and turned toward the cluster that was Jaac
and the children and gave a gesture. "Jaac, this woman wishes to meet you, come
closer. Rex and Fives are both there, want to talk with you and the others
later. Updating plans." He grinned. "It's been a crowded flight."
Jaac shuffled forward, glaring suspiciously at her out of his single eye. He
was less antagonistic than the youngling boy who followed and stared with
narrowed, hate-filled eyes.
"Jaac," began Col. "This is Tyrlanya who has asked me to introduce you."
"Greetings Jaac." Tyrlanya bared her courage, prepared for anything from this
man made taciturn by experience. "I would invite you to a year-marriage with
me."
Col looked at her strangely, but the corners of his lips formed a soft curl,
then into a smile. Countdown laughed. "Is that what it sounds like?"
"It is a marriage for the duration of a year," explained Tyrlanya, turning
toward Countdown. "It is free of many of the binds of a full marriage. Mostly
it is for the tribe, to bring children." She faced Jaac. "but I think it would
be best between us as a trial."
Countdown laughed. "Oh, sure, Jaac. There's not going to be any woman
interested in you. Aren't you glad you attended class now?"
Jaac ignored him and merely increased his suspicious glare at Tyrlanya. "Why?"
She shrugged a shoulder. "I can give you reasons." She glanced at Bekia who was
also staring at her with a sour look. "But perhaps more privately." Her voice
was softer. She'd bare her soul to this man who understood what pain meant, but
not with Bekia listening. "I will tell you that I have been in year-marriages
before. Ten of them. I have never had a child." Her voice was low, this was her
shame.
"I have four children. I do not ask for more and I will not leave them to
anyone else." He dropped the boy's hand and put his arm around his shoulders,
drawing him closer. One of the two younger boys held onto his hand. The red-
headed boy was staring into the distance.
"Those are bantha!" he exclaimed and Adwr knelt beside him, pointing out the
animals.
Tyrlanya nodded. "Your children are your wealth and I would welcome them." She
looked into his single eye. "I would be a true mother to them and not merely
their father's wife. I will treat them no less than I would my own children."
Jaac nodded slowly. "I think we can talk. I…, it's…" He paused, thinking deeply
then his face lost its suspicious look. "This is all new." He looked suddenly
innocent and afraid.
"I understand." She reached her hand out for his. It was warm, strong, firm and
his fingers curled into hers. Tyrlanya was heartened by this. "Let us go talk
in my tent. Afterwards, if you have question I cannot answer, I'm sure Col or
Dub would be happy to answer anything."
Tyrlanya heard one of Col's brothers reply to Bekia's flirtation as she and
Jaac walked away. "I don't think so. I like my brother."
Jaac heard also but ignored it. Tyrlanya thought he had lots of experience in
ignoring people's words. "I think I can make up my own mind without Col or
Dub's influence." Jaac glanced at the youngling boy, the other boys standing
behind him and Adwr nudging the last in their direction. "May they come? They
have a stake in this also."
"Of course," Tyrlanya turned to the boys. "I hope you listen and asked
questions when you have them."
"I have one," muttered the sullen youngling. He didn't expect her to stop and
give him her full attention. It was unnerving, but after a moment's inspection,
he growled in his adolescent, cracking voice. "Do you whip children?"
"It is not common on Dantooine. Usually, punishment is undoing whatever wrong
or misbehavior was done. I suppose some parents may whip a child who has been
particularly unruly."
"Show her, Kierzon." Jaac's voice was soft and the youngling's lips quivered as
his fists clenched and released several times. He gulped and pulled his shirt
up his back, turning to show her.
Tyrlanya looked at his back, at the scars on his back. She reached out her hand
to touch his back then glanced at Jaac to see if she should. Jaac gave her no
clue. Her fingers touched Kierzon's shoulder softly. He pulled down his shirt,
removing the scars from her view, from her touch.
"For theft," he said, "Because I was hungry and Jaac was hurt. I stole some
fruit. I think I was ten."
"No," she said quietly. "We do not use whips on children. It is abhorrent, it
is illegal." No wonder he had eyes of hate. "Even if were not illegal, I would
never do so."
Kierzon ignored her words as he moved closer to Jaac but his eyes were less
hateful and more contemplative.
They walked silently down the trail for a moment. Then Jaac spoke again. "I
have some credits. I'd give you half outright and keep half to be divided among
my children as they grow."
"I have my own tent, shares in the clan's wealth and some small wealth of my
own." Tyrlanya smiled in pride. "I am the best weaver in Clan Gwydr and have
won competitions. When the time comes, I also would provide for their future.
Though, in the clan it is common for at least one child to stay with each
parent as they grown older."
"Kier is smart. I want him to be more than…"
"More than a nerfherder?" She smiled at him and he blushed but he nodded.
"Yes. More than a nerfherder. More than someone who works with his hands
because he has no other choice. I want Kier to have choices."
Tylanya nodded. "Dantooine has a single university and it is open by merit
only. There is also an apprentice system for some skills such as weaving,
smithwork, mechanics. I have apprenticed three younglings of other clans and,
as such, am owed three apprenticeships if he would prefer one of the trades."
She took them to her tent. The finely decorated bantha hide was warm and water-
proof. It wasn't the largest tent, but it was large enough for six sleeping
rooms if the hides were arranged. She merely kept it divided into her sleeping
quarters and the visiting area. Her parents had arranged the purchase of the
tent for their family almost two decades ago then died together in a fever.
Bershin had gone to breed a different strain of bantha on another planet and
her sister had moved in with her husband in another clan. Tyrlanya wondered
absently if Kierzon would like a room near the entranceway. She had when she'd
been his age.
There were several low chairs as well as cushions; both of textile and fur. She
offered blue milk for all then lunch when she found they hadn't eaten. They
talked for a while then Colehn called in to invite Kierzon and the two younger
boys to help herd the bantha for milking.
"Are visitors welcome," It was Adwr's voice at the door, with several other
people by the noise.
"Certainly," called Tyrlanya after a questioning glance at Jaac and his nod.
"Will I be performing a year marriage within the next day or so?" Adwr smiled
at them, not bothered by Jaac's scars. Quad was with him as was Hoscynia and
Countdown as well as the beautiful dusty rose woman with a brother of Col's
holding her around the waist with a strong arm.
"Perhaps." Jaac's voice was even. It had been a good talk with Tyrlanya and he
was optimistic that being married to her wouldn't be a hardship. He wanted to
ask one of the brothers who had been here a while to find out what kind of
woman she was, but if they said she was as truthful as her body seemed to tell
him, he had much to look forward to. Though nothing from Kix's class would be
relevant.
She wanted family. That much was evident. Ten year marriages and not a single
pregnancy. Her tent was full of stored belongings and she'd gone to one and
pulled out appropriate-sized warm coats for the boys when Colehn had invited
them out. She wanted a daughter like Bird and sons like Nac and Nub. She had
even welcomed Kierzon, cautiously and Jaac couldn't blame her for that. She
wanted family and if that meant she'd take him, then so be it. He'd talk to her
about that later; she wouldn't have to have him in her bed. Still, she had
taken his hand, curling her fingers between his as she led them to her tent.
Adwr laughed. "You've been here all morning and most of the afternoon. Most
families are starting to prepare evening meal. Col and Ehveen have invited both
of you to their tent." He nodded at Jaac. "Your boys are there. Colehn has
already taken them to see the bantha and they shared in milking the cows."
"It can't have been that long," frowned Tyrlanya. "We've only been talking for
a short…"
"For most of the day," confirmed Jaac, his lips twitching in pleased amusement.
He'd been aware of the passage of time; he'd been bred to know it always. But
for her, time had quickly passed because it had been good between them. That
much he knew and it was gratifying that she'd lost track of time. He had
enjoyed talking with her also.
Jaac stood, graceful in his strength and looked at Tyrlanya, then offered her
his hand. "I would bring you to Col's as fiancée. Is that permitted? And is
there anything special I must do for this year-marriage?"
She blushed as she took his hand and Adwr smiled. "You've spoken in front of a
witness of your intention. You need two more witnesses and then I perform a
short ceremony in front of a quorum of the clan.
"I will announce this at Col's dinner if that is acceptable." He quirked a non-
existent eyebrow at Tyrlanya. "With your approval?"
"I'd like that," she whispered, suddenly blushing, suddenly feeling very
feminine, suddenly feeling wanted. She looked up into his eye and slipped her
body next to his, under his arm. His face was relaxed, introspective then he
suddenly bent his head and kissed her lips, retreating before she could kiss
him back.
"I understand that's traditional. Kissing. When getting engaged."
===============================================================================
Jaac frowned and quickly turned down the suncatchers. The fire in the metal pit
was merely a soft orange glow. It was late and soon Kierzon and the other
children would be asleep in their bundles. The days were busy with learning and
they all fell asleep quickly now, with neither thirst nor hunger clawing into
their dreams.
Bird had gone from baby silence to absolute comprehension of language in a
matter of days and was full of questions. Jaac knew it was because she finally
felt safe. They all did. Nub had fallen in love with the bantha and, without
asking Jaac or Tyrlanya, had apprenticed himself to the herdmaster, Lukai. It
had been Lukai who'd come to the tent laughingly calling for his apprentice who
had told them. As adults, they discussed Nub's possibilities and, in the end,
Nub was apprenticed to Lukai for a one-year trial to extend in exchange of a
year out of one of Tyrlanya's apprenticeships. Jaac had stayed out of that
discussion as it involved three other clans, four families and consulting with
Adwr. Apparently an apprenticeship was not a simple one-for-one trade.
Nac simply ran and laughed. He followed Jaac as Jaac learned about living on
Dantooine from Col and Dub. He followed Tyrlanya to the thread houses and ran
errands for the women. He followed Kierzon as he studied, Nub as he learned
about bantha and he played with Bird. Nac became a carefree child and reveled
in it almost as much as Jaac reveled in his son's playfulness.  Once, Nac had
run into the tent hollering for containers – water was falling from the sky.
Rain had fallen from the sky and Jaac's little family were the only ones
outside in the cold water.
"At least close your mouths when you look up," laughed Tyrlanya gently from the
tent's entry, hugged in her warm vest. "So you don't drown." She had sat at the
doorway of the tent, smiling, watching them rejoice in water that fell from the
sky. Later, Jaac had told her of the desert planets he'd been on – Geonosis,
Tatooine and Thvenya. She promised to take them to the river in the spring and
teach them all to swim. Nac, Nub and Bird had no comprehension of the word. He
didn't tell her that the largest river in Thvenya was narrower than he was
tall.
Kierzon had taken a battery of tests. He had failed many of them, but his
weaknesses were scholastic rather than intellectual; of being a stranger rather
than lacking intelligence. He knew what to study and often read aloud to them
in the early evenings. Sometimes he would go to the thread houses and read to
the women. They were a hard audience; asking questions or definitions, making
him repeat important concepts, asking for proof, his thoughts. After the first
time, he read to the women only when he thought he knew the subject.
Tyrlanya offered Kierzon three hangings with which to carve out his privacy of
the tent, a room for himself. He asked if he could be near the entrance and
Tyrlanya nodded. "There are extra duties associated with being there, but you
are well capable." He found out it gave him extra status among the other
younglings. It was a place of importance and trust; the first to hear messages
and greet visitors, the freedom to leave each morning, the responsibility for
the morning fire and, in earlier times, the major defender of the tent. He
invited her to call him 'Kier' and promised himself he'd be worthy of trust.
Before the first snows arrived, the nerf were culled; the meat was put in a
special tent for smoking and drying; the hides defleshed. Adwr told Jaac that
late autumn was the busiest time of the year because so much of their survival
depended on it, yet the days were shorter. The tents were moved up the hill
next to the thread house, the only solid building, and much closer together, in
an oval around an open-ended corral for the tame bantha to gather. A tent for
the unmarried women was attached to the thread houses. There was no tent put up
for the few unmarried men who were mostly Col's brothers.  They usually spent
the night with family, several times in Tyrlanya's tent with them; talking and
training. Jaac noted that Tyrlanya didn't seem to favor any of his brothers
over him when they moved belongings and the fire pit to spar. He nodded to
himself; his gift of children had been sufficient for her heart. For her sake,
he wished he wasn't scarred.
Tyrlanya smiled often even though it was the darkness of winter. She had
brought out a small loom and was teaching Bird to weave on it while she spun
fine thread. Kier was reading for them all; magical stories instead of one of
his regular texts. Nub was worrying about his bantha, running fingers through
his fire-red hair, and Nac was going through one of the packs of clothing
sorting it at Tyrlanya's direction.
"Another baby thing," said Nac as he held up a tiny tunic sack for Tyrlanya to
judge. She was giving so many of the baby things to Ehveen, expecting another
children at high winter. Not the best time to birth a child, but her sister had
never had any problems before – even with her first, Colehn. It was embroidered
with green and blue, colors of grass and sky. Lucky colors. Tyrlanya's eyes
grew wet as she realized it was the first one she had made, almost twenty years
past when she'd been just coming into womanhood and had been so hopeful of the
future. When she didn't immediately respond to Nac, he looked at her.
"The stack for Ehveen?" His voice was tentative. Tyrlanya gave a nod, she
didn't dare to speak or all the emotion would swallow her. Jaac looked up from
the large pot of soup he was making at Nac's tentative tone and saw the tears
in Tyrlanya's eyes, her hands shaking as she stopped the whorl and set the
thread aside.
"That is quite a pile of baby things, Nac," he interrupted. "Why don't you and
Nub take them to Ehveen. You can stop by Lukai's and talk bantha on your way
back. Be back before moonrise."
"What if they invite us to dinner?" Nub wasn't quite keen on Jaac's cooking now
that they had regular good meals. Jaac hadn't yet mastered the skill and his
meals were not always as palatable as Tyrlanya's, although his stews were
usually decent.
Kier snickered and Jaac ruefully shook his head. "Then you can stay. The stew
might need a day to season into palatability."
The two younger boys quickly pulled on winter coats, fur-in and hooded, and
were out the tent each carrying a stack of baby clothes. Kierzon slowly put
aside the stories. "I should go also. Colehn wanted me to help braid leather
rope."
Jaac gave a nod and his grimace which substituted for a smile. "No more eager
for dinner than your brothers," he quipped though he knew Kier was given him
and Tyrlanya privacy.
"No. Come on Bird," Kier helped her on with a brightly embroidered warm vest
and pulled on a warm, fur-inside coat. Bird was very well-dressed; Tyrlanya had
shown early enthusiasm for threadwork. It was more evidence of her desire and
love for children.
"Are you ok, Tyrlanya?" Jaac asked softly as his last two children left the
tent.
She rubbed her face with her hand. "I am not ill. I simply remember so long
ago."
"When your hopes were new and shiny? When anything might come true?" He asked
gently, standing and moving next to her.
She nodded then put her hands to her face to hide the sudden flow of tears. He
sat beside her, to offer support if she wanted, if she forgot his scars. At his
touch on her hand, to let her know he was there, she threw herself against him,
hugging him hard around the waist, her face buried in his chest. He put his
arms around her, his face into her neck and held her, gently rubbing her back.
"Tyrlanya, what can I do?"
She shook her head. "I am maudlin," she mumbled into his chest. "Being in the
tent with my family is joyful, but seeing the baby clothes was…" Her lips
quivered again.
"I'm sorry. I know you want children of your own body."
Again she shook her head. "No. That isn't… yes." She frowned and shook her head
more firmly. "It's not that."
His lips twisted in what she recognized as a grin as she looked up and blinked
her tears away. The burn scars on his face sometimes made it hard to decipher
his expression but she was getting good at it. He often ducked his head to hide
his scars, though less and less, especially in the tent; their tent, their
home. "Very decisive, aren't you?"  His voice was low and pleasant.
"I don't need children of my own body. Bird and Nac and Nub; even Kierzon, they
are sufficient. They have rapidly become the children of my heart."
"Then I don't understand." Jaac found she was warm and comfortable against him.
He didn't need to move; he'd let her move away from him first.
Tyrlanya was quiet for a moment, simply listening to her breath and the beating
of Jaac's heart. He was kind and strong and, most of all, gentle. "My wishes
and dreams," she began slowly, "have always included having their father;
having a husband." She moved slightly so she could look into his eyes. "You
haven't come to my bed." She stated it as simple fact.
He grimaced, a true grimace of pain and regret. "You can't want to bed these
scars. I knew you wanted children and I knew you would take care of them like
they'd been born from your body. I am simply what you had to take to have Bird
and the boys."
"Oh, Jaac," She reached her fingers to his face but he pulled back from her
hand. She shifted, facing him as she knelt before him. She grabbed his hands in
hers and brought them to her lips. "I wouldn't be bedding scars. I would be
loving my husband; a man with strong hands and broad shoulders, a quiet man who
observes and notices and does what is necessary. A man who has raised fine
children by himself in an unbearable situation." She reached her hand to the
side of his face. This time he didn't stop her. Her fingers brushed the rough
skin. "If I cannot give you happiness, let me know. There is no censure for
dissolving a year marriage and if you cannot have happiness with me then you
can search for it among my people."
"I have happiness," Jaac stated, surprised. Did she think she hadn't given him
enough? "There is food and water for our bodies, learning for our minds and
companionship for our souls. What I have now is beyond what I had ever known to
even wish for." He took her hands in his and held them to his lips, merely
breathing warmth onto her strong fingers. "For you to offer more is beyond my
comprehension. It is something I am not prepared for."
She leaned forward and up, brushing his fire-scarred lips with her own. Her
voice was a fierce whisper. "I love you."
Jaac shook his head in disbelief. "Tyrlanya, you asked me to marry you. You
took me by the hand and never once did you say I was ugly." He bowed his face
over her hands. "You gave us a home, you love my children. I am afraid that if
I ask anything more, I will realize this is only a dream."
There was no answer except to once again reach up to his lips with her own.
I've never done this before." It was hardly more than a whisper. Then he gave a
small smile. "Four children and I'm still a virgin."
Her palm cupped his face, the rough scars tickling her skin. She could weep
that he'd been scarred; that his beauty had been stolen by war, that his
courage had been so ravaged by defeat. She leaned against him. Slowly his arms
came around her, trusting she wouldn't pull away from him.
"I think a lot of it will become self-evident as we continue."
"Oh, I know Tyr. Most nights I dream of pleasuring you, of being in your arms,
of what I would do..." He ducked his head embarrassed. "In the dark. I couldn't
bear for you to see my face while we're making love." He was self-conscious
about his scars; about how he looked and how his skin would feel to her
fingers. "I'm... I'm sorry."
Tyrlanya nodded. "I understand. But as time passes, I will want to see you."
Her hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, unfastening the laces of his
tunic. "I will want to make love in the daylight. I will want to lie down with
you in the soft grass beside the river after a good swim and laugh together as
we touch each other."
"I will learn to lose my fear," he bit his lips for a moment, "my wife." 
===============================================================================
 
                               Shaeeah and Quad
So much had changed around the farm in two years, but nothing essential. Dad
and mom still looked at each other with passion in their eyes. Jek was becoming
a responsible young farmer, but still managed to tease her. Keeli was almost
five and Crux was almost two. There hadn't been a moment's twinge of trouble in
mom's pregnancy and she and Cut were talking about trying for another child
before a child became impossible.
Jester and Saria still lived not far, but their twins were in the tantrum twos
and Shaeeah tended to avoid them. Apparently fussiness didn't bother Jester,
Saria or Kix. They, also, were talking about another child. Perhaps it didn't
matter as much to Kix. He spent a lot of time in Issuya with Sinker, helping
Chymdura as much as he assisted Saria and running a small orphanage. He was
turning into an amazingly popular midwife on a planet trying to recoup from a
devastating population loss. Shaeeah wished he would find someone to love
although she wasn't hopeful. He was wonderful at medicine, at helping others,
but froze when socially introduced to anyone, male or female, human, Twi'lek,
Gran or Wroonian.
Sinker, please beyond belief at his luck, stayed in Issuya. Besides helping Kix
with the orphanage, he had a job at the granary and Saria's apartment became
his. He often sat outside on the porch, serene in the sanctuary of the little
garden he had created there or practicing the exercises Saria had given him to
improve his speech. He visited the farm often. The last time he had smiled and
said he'd been invited to a party and he'd like to cut the visit shorter. By
his blushes and smiles, a woman was suspected.
Sketch had finally returned with a grin, limping only at the end of a long day,
and on crutches only when he was very tired. He ran often but not fast and not
the distance his brothers ran. Usually, they slowed and paced him, talking and
laughing. Jester and Saria welcomed him with love and kisses and the offer of
sharing. Shaeeah had cried with gladness to see him walk off the ship. She,
also, had welcomed him with kisses. Sketch had raised an eyebrow and Shaeeah
wondered if she shared; she wondered if Quad shared. He had sat down one
evening with Shaeeah and showed her the drawings he had done; pictures of
cities and people. Then he brought out pictures of anatomy; he'd been
commissioned to provide artwork for Verzhain's Guide to Joint Anatomy, 5th
edition. The surgeon had seen his art while Sketch was recuperating and
suggested he submit to Verzhain Guides Publishing. Sketch was proud of the job.
Chopper was staying for a visit but declared himself part and parcel of Fives'
family. He hadn't married them, yet. He wanted as many of his brothers as
possible to be at the party; and that meant Saleucami. Rex and Ahsoka would be
coming later in the summer and Chopper was waiting for them in particular; like
so many of the clones they were his first love and loyalty.
Saoha and Sula had two children in those small two years as well as Peach who
was just leaving the tantrum years. Saoha's golden-hued little boy had Edge's
silver-blue eyes. Edge's chin had trembled when he saw the child but no one
knew what he and Saoha had decided. When they visited, about three times a
year, Edge took over the care of the child.
Cody was already there for Chopper's party though he hadn't known about it
until he arrived on Saleucami. He had changed a bit; he was whipcord thin and
had new scars as well as a limp in the early morning; he admitted to being too
slow to avoid a blast to his hip. It was his second visit. He had returned the
year before bringing a cure for the unnatural aging. He'd already taken it to
Shili and Dantooine and had, at that time, given the vials for Fives, Chopper
and Sketch to Cut knowing they would return to Saleucami. He'd been unable to
track Riven, Dare, Backup or Checkout and their vials were also handed over to
Cut in hopes that one day they would visit home.
Jesse hadn't been with him but Cody had promised that Jesse would make it by
late spring. Jesse did, bringing a dark-haired, brown-eyed sullen child of
about four years with him. Told that Edge still spent time in the loft, Jesse
had taken the child there and waited. Shaeeah brought them food Suu packed for
the scared child, including the last of the yai-yai at the farm for the too-
thin pair.
"He's one of the children conceived by Order 37. I call him Crys," Jesse told
her as he crammed half the yai-yai into his mouth, washing it down with a gulp
of blue milk. The boy was behind him timidly eating bread slathered with a mix
of yai-yai and berry jam. "I thought, perhaps, Edge…" Jesse let the sentence
fade. Shaeeah knelt and put her arms around his neck, tears in her eyes. He
leaned into her. "It is so good to be home, Shaeeah. So good."
Edge and Cass had come to the barn with Riposte and Baffle. Edge had turned to
the child and knelt on one knee beside him. "If you want, I'll be your father
and Cass will be your mother. You'll be our oldest child. Jesse is part of our
family and you will be part of it along with him and Riposte and Baffle. You
will never again be hungry or alone." The boy had reached out and taken Edge's
hand. Cass had reached out for Jesse's hand and he had given a soft sigh and
leaned against her.
Edge never bothered with his psyc. He, Baffle and Riposte were happily married
with Cass. Baffle had designed a beautiful house, more art than building,
making the line between inside and outside ambivalent with removable outer
walls and carpets of living moss along the boundaries. It had been built near
the thermal pool and was often the site for gatherings of everyone. After two
years, Cass was finally pregnant and her husbands were giddy with joy and
almost afraid to touch her. Jesse, smiling, said he would stay at least long
enough to see her child.
Numa had given her nerras until she was sixteen; if they did not find a wife
before then, she would marry them. Boil had merely shrugged and Shaeeah knew he
was secretly pleased. Waxer argued and bemoaned and was angry with Numa; until
Cut had spoken four small, simple words to him. "Then get a wife." Waxer
grumbled but did not seek out any other woman. Numa's lifeday was very close.
She and Saria spoke often.
They had expanded to nysilim production; profitable and labor intensive.
There'd been a pirate raid early in the second season; pirates plagued
Saleucami because of the lop-sided population skewed to younglings. It had
proved a profitable raid for her uncles who had stayed on the farm; almost
every raider had a bounty on him, though it had been Suu, Numa, Jek and herself
claiming the bounties.
Djinn got his arm amputated by the combine but played chase and tackle all the
harder for it. Shaeeah had kissed him once, but she had dreamed of Quad. She
apologized to Djinn for what she could not give him. Djinn tried to hide his
sorrow, but wasn't good at lying. On the rare visits of Fives and family, Saoha
spent time with Djinn in the small house he had built in the shadow of the big
rock, near where Crux was buried.
Shy did not pass his psyc and tried to commit suicide in the thermal pool.
Djinn found him, saved him, and held him when he cried. Sometimes they slept
together for comfort, but nothing beyond that. Just as often Shy slept in his
space in the house; where Shaeeah and Numa had once made a comfortable place
for Sketch, near the heart of the kitchen. Shy gave his promise to never seek
death again. When Cody saw him, he sighed. Shy still saluted like a rookie
fresh out of Kamino. "He's never off-duty, Suu. Perhaps he should come with me
and Jesse. We, at least, are in military-type situations. We could switch
duties with him. At least in his mind." Suu had nodded sadly.
Shaeeah had asked Edge if he would escort her to Dantooine to find Quad. He'd
nodded, brusque and silent as usual. Sula and Fives would take them there and
wait for four days to determine if she wished to stay. Saoha, Chopper and the
children would stay on Saleucami. Kix hesitantly asked to go along. Fives had
grinned, laughing softly and nodded, then given Kix a hug that was less
brotherly than lover-like.
Dad and mom handed her a season's worth of credits, Jek had given her a hug and
a kiss. Kix had given her a small but genuinely useful medical kit. Like
everyone else on the farm, she'd been given as much training in medical
emergencies as he could provide. Rex and Echo had given her a knife two years
ago, sharp and silver edged, as well as lessons in using it. Numa, Boil and
Waxer had given her two years of training and if she wasn't the silent forest
spirit that Numa could be, she was still very good.
Chopper had sighed softly as he glanced at Saoha who nodded then, grim-faced,
he had taken Shaeeah to the farthest edges of the farm where the reaches of
geothermal desert touched. They'd camped there for two days. He'd told her
about his days as a trooper; told her about war, about desperation, about
death. He told her about his scars. He told her about prison, about hate,
desolation, pain. He had shown her how to take lives.
Shaeeah had cried to know these things. Until he taught her how to kill, she
could still pretend it was an adventure. When they got back to the farm, she
was angry at him, not speaking to him, ignoring him until the moment her foot
touched the loading ramp of the ship. Suddenly realizing his gift she had
whipped around, run to him and held him tightly, her fingers clasped in his
short, silver-streaked hair. "Thank you, Chopper," she has whispered in his
ear.
Entry onto Dantooine had been fairly simple and they'd landed on a sea of
golden grass amid some permanent buildings surrounded by large tents which, in
the wind, seemed to breathe like living creatures.
One of the first people she saw while off-loading supplies was Dub. His brows
rose in surprise at seeing her, Kix and Edge in addition to Fives and Sula and
he'd run up to welcome them. He babbled and laughed at himself for babbling, so
pleased to see them.
"It's just a visit for me, Dub." Edge replied. "I have two children and another
expected in a couple of months."
Dub started to run off to find Col, but Shaeeah's small hand in the crook of
his elbow stopped him.
"Where's Quad?" Shaeeah softly asked and Dub was quiet. He looked down at the
grass with a frown.
"He was in an accident, Shaeeah." He saw tears in her eyes. Chaynwa cried
sometimes and he knew what to do when women cried. Softly, he hugged her. "He's
not the same."
She cried out in anger. "Di'kut. The way you spoke, I thought he was dead."
"He might as well be, Shaeeah." Dub replied softly. "Maybe Sula can help, but
the clan no longer counts him as a capable man."
"Did he ever marry anyone or have children." She asked.
"He was waiting for you. He talked often but never mentioned your name. Still,
we figured out who he loved very quickly." Dub gave her a small grin. "How many
women were there at the farm?"
Col was there by then, along with a boy that looked like him. "Colehn, please
let your mother know we will have guests for several days. Dub, why don't you
help unload?" The boy ran off and Dub moved to the ship's cargo area. "Shaeeah,
I suppose you want to see Quad?" She nodded and he sighed. "Sula, would you
come with us. Perhaps you can help him in some way."
"What happened, Col?" asked Sula.
"He was trampled in a nerf stampede." Col rubbed his forehead with a rough
hand. "We lost two men, Leven broke his arm and Quad was trampled. But they
broke the stampede."
Shaeeah nodded her face sad.
"What kind of injuries that I can help with?" asked Sula.
"He finds it difficult to speak or write. Countdown says its like Sinker but
worse. We don't know if there's additional brain damage." Col grimaced. "At his
best, he's not cooperative. You can't help with the broken back."
He caught Shaeeah's sharp intake of breath and put a comforting arm around her
as they walked down the trail.
Shaeeah saw him, recognized him first. He was outside one of the tents on a low
cot; his shoulders braced against a back rest, his hair shaggy, but not long.
"What's he doing with his hands?" Sula asked.
"Winding sium thread. It needs to be hand-wound." Col was quiet for an instant.
"He can do that."
Shaeeah put her hands in front of Col. "I want to see him without you, Col. Or
you Sula, if you can read him this far."
"What do you want, Shaeeah?" Sula asked. Shaeeah's brows curled down.
"Nothing." She said. "Read him for him or for you. But for me, nothing."
Col smiled. "He loved you, Shaeeah."
"But what will he call it now?" she asked, moving forward and leaving them
behind.
===============================================================================
Quad tilted his head slightly, recognizing someone's footsteps, but continued
winding thread around the wooden spool, he was almost done. Sometimes his weak
hand trembled and he had to slow down or stop, but he was useful. It was all he
was good for now but it was something.
His brothers took turns caring for him now. He could do one or two personal
matters, but that was all. Col, Countdown, Jaac and Dub were in camp at the
moment; the others were out herding with Leven's family. Leven had married a
large family and then won the most recent festival wrestling contest. Until the
next season, the finest bantha bull of Dantooine was in his herd. Leven had
invited his brothers to herd their bantha with his. He'd also invited two of
Clan Dsayn's cows into the herd and Clan Dsayn had accepted, offering two extra
cows for Clan Gwydr's 'work'. Col still owned Clan Dsayn for Layol and Clan
Dsayn, embarrassed by his largesse, was still trying to return the riches
without dishonoring the gift. Col had asked Clan Sylart about buying Ehveen's
first year-marriage child into adoption. It was an intricate dance and Adwr
loved it; loved telling Quad about it and asking his advice, planning his
moves. Adwr was a patient man, to listen to Quad's stutterings.
Quad liked it best when he was under Col's care. Ehveen was more attentive than
Dub's Chaynwa and there were the children. Quad couldn't take care of them, but
they were generous with their hugs and two-year old Layol was very good at
understanding what he needed, what he wanted. She often curled into his arms
for a nap. Jaac's Bird would also curl up with him, rubbing his face with her
soft fingers and whispering make-believe stories in his ear. Those were Quad's
best moments now, the only thing he looked forward to these days, other than
dying.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, probably Ehveen though it hadn't sounded like
her footsteps.
Moment. It was what he meant to say. Of course it came out more of a moan with
a hard, sibilant breath at the end. He finished the thread onto the spool and
set it down.
She still had her hand on his shoulder and he turned his face to give her a
smile, though he never really felt like smiling anymore. She was kind, a loving
sister-in-law.
Except it wasn't Ehveen.
Quad trembled to see Shaeeah, his expression pure anguish. Then he turned his
head away from her.
Go away. Go home. But it only came out a stuttering choke. He turned his head
from her. She sat next to him. Fierfik! He couldn't even run away from her. She
leaned her head against his shoulder. He didn't move except to tremble. Then he
shuddered. He reached for her hand. She gave it to him and he brought it up to
his head. Shaeeah must have thought he was going to kiss her hand, but instead
he rubbed it against the other side of his head so she could feel the
indentation at his temple, where bone had bent to the weight of an animal.
Go home, Shaeeah. He tried, but only broken letters came from his lips. She
kissed him softly on his arm. He shook his head, grabbed her hand again, curled
her fingers into a fist inside his hand, and hit his leg with her fist several
time.
"Ded. Ded." The word came out close enough for her to understand even if he
stuttered the doms. He looked at her. "Ded, ded. kwad, ded."
"Col's coming, Quad." She looked at his expressive brown eyes. She didn't need
Sula to confirm that Quad loved her. His anger was sufficient. "Since we'll be
his guests, I suppose I should let him introduce me around. It's me, Sula and
Edge. Fives is shipside with Kix." She sighed. "Edge says he's quite happy at
the farm. I just wanted one of your brothers as an escort." She smiled at him.
"I feel safer." She stood, still touching him. "We'll talk later." She saw his
grimace as he shook his head.
"Nnnnno." His teeth were gritted. She bent her head over his shoulder.
"You left Saleucami and didn't give me any choice, Quad." Her voice was angry.
He was tired. He could listen to her and she would leave in a day or two.
Perhaps he could talk to Edge; convince Edge to kill him. He sighed and gave a
grimace. "Kkka." She kissed the side of his face and Quad closed his eyes
against the pain of memory.
===============================================================================
Col introduced Ehveen, their eldest son, Colehn, and two younger children. He
softly kissed Ehveen and splayed his hand over her rounded belly possessively.
"And soon another child." He smiled.
Ehveen showed them to another area of the tent, separated by walls of leather.
Edge dropped his pack by one of the pallets after Sula chose the other. Fives
and Kix would stay in the ship.
Shaeeah had looked at Ehveen as she kept her pack on her shoulder. "I will be
sleeping with Quad." She said.
"I don't think Quad would be happy with that," Ehveen's voice was uncertain.
Shaeeah nodded. "Probably not. But he left me on Saleucami for two years. He
can tolerate me for three days."
Sula snorted. "Or longer." Shaeeah couldn't keep her plans from the empath.
"Or longer?" Ehveen's smile was gentle though not understanding. Then she shook
her head. "I like Quad, but he is no longer who he was when he first came here.
He is not who he was a year ago."
Sula nodded. "He is shattered, Shaeeah. He once was a strong, very physical
man. Now he no longer controls himself; his own body is a stranger to him."
"But he's there, isn't he, Sula?" demanded Shaeeah in a firm voice.
Sula nodded. "Physically limited but it is Quad; his intelligence, his desires,
his personality."
Shaeeah turned to Ehveen. "If you tell me what I must do for him, then I will
do so."
"No, Shaeeah. Not tonight." Sula shook her head. "He is already unsettled by
you being here. He will be more unsettled to find you in his room with him."
Ehveen agreed with her.
Slowly, Shaeeah nodded. "You're right, Sula. He will need something to be the
same." She turned to Col's wife. "You will let me know when he is ready for
sleep, when everything has been done?" Ehveen nodded with a smile. Before the
stampede, Quad had spoken often of a young woman he loved.
===============================================================================
It was a good visit. They sat around a fire pit, Col and Ehveen with their
children, Jaac, Tyrlanya and Bird were there. Dub brought his wife and infant
son; Countdown brought his fiancée, Hoscynia. Col and Dub, accompanied by Edge,
brought Quad in his cot and sat him by the fire.
Quad made it clear he didn't want to stay and when Col ignored his request by
saying, "We have guests and it is polite for everyone to be here.", Quad had
made a face and crossed his arms. He had glared at Shaeeah as she sat next to
him, passing him some of the kabaps. His hand was crippled, too, the fingers
stiffly curved with very little strength. He noted Shaeeah was careful to make
sure to give his fingers a little extra time until his grip was firm on the
sticks of meat. Quad made sure not to touch her fingers.
After a while, though, he stopped being angry. The company was good. Sula even
caught him staring at Shaeeah with painful longing. The children fell asleep
and the adults continued speaking on into the night; catching up, making plans.
Finally, Quad, feeling his head falling from tiredness, spoke.
"Cccol." Then he turned his head towards his private area.
"Tired, Quad? Ready for sleep?" Col checked.
Quad nodded with a smile. "Ggggg." He couldn't get the words out and he looked
to Sula to translate for him for the first time that evening. She smiled at
him.
"I think Quad wants to say he's had a good evening and a good visit. He is glad
to see everyone." She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he nodded.
They carried him into his room, separated off by the leather walls, and set him
on his pallet. Col sighed as he helped removed Quad's clothes and checked his
legs for any sores or bites he wouldn't be able to feel. He often thought Quad
had the capacity to do this for himself, but it had become habit. Quad sighed
and put his forehead on Col's shoulder. "Sssssshhhhaa." He stuttered quietly.
"She'll be sleeping with you tonight, my brother." He saw panic in his
brother's eyes. "Ehveen says Shaeeah will only be here for three days and that
you owe Shaeeah two years. Is that so?"
Col always tried to phrase his questions so Quad could answer with a body
motion. Quad stared at the wall of the great tent, a stricken look on his face,
then closed his eyes and nodded. Quad reached for his clothes, then pointed as
he couldn't reach them. Col shook his head. "That's not how you normally
sleep." Quad drew back his fist and weakly hit his brother, then collapsed in
tears, his shoulders shaking. When Col asked if he really wanted his pants or
the tunic, he shook his head. Maybe Shaeeah would leave when she saw him naked.
Shaeeah came in and let the flap fall behind her. He'd pulled the blankets over
him, over his legs as much as possible, regretting his decision to be naked.
His chest still had some muscle, but his legs were ragged, skin-covered bone.
There was no chance of sex. While little brother had hardened a couple of times
since he'd been crippled, he couldn't feel it and there was no reason that Quad
could discern when he did function. He hoped she would be happy with hugs and
kisses; it was all he had. He hoped she would go home tomorrow. He still had
dreams of her, he still loved her; he didn't want to see her pity or, worse,
her disgust. He decided against the hugs and kisses. She might think he still
loved her.
Silently she pulled off her clothes, her face down, not looking at his face.
Then she moved to his side and crawled under his blankets. As he closed his
eyes he saw her glance into his face. His jaw was angrily hard, but he couldn't
stop the tears except by pressing his eyelids tight. When he opened his eyes he
saw she longed to kiss him. Instead she simply rested her head on his arm,
tucked her face into his chest, her palms against him. She let loose a deep
breath and relaxed.
In a few minutes, Quad was aware of her even breathing. She was asleep. Quad
looked at her, free to look at her without trying to speak, without trying to
make her understand that he was no longer who he had been when he'd loved her.
He'd noticed her lekku, tchun and tchin he remembered fondly, were longer and
looked very elegant. If their movement was Twi'lek speech, then she was a woman
who was never quiet. Even now, in sleep, they seemed to caress his hands,
moving in a gentle wave-like motion in time with her breathing. Gently he
slipped the tip of tchin to his lips and gave it a small kiss.
She was more beautiful than ever. Softly, he touched her face with his fingers.
She was sixteen, not yet fully grown.
He could do this. For three nights he could watch Shaeeah sleep, renewing his
memories – when she had touched him, when she had kissed him, when she had
taken her lips to him, when she had asked him to explore her and his final
memory; when her little sister had answered to his little brother, when love
had been answered by love. He had used those memories often since he'd left
Saleucami.
Shaeeah had said she would come to Dantooine when she was old enough and that
had been two years from when he left. He had decided to give her three years
and was only sometimes convinced she would come at all. Then the accident had
happened and he hoped he would never see her again.
Three days he could stand her on Dantooine. Three nights, he could stand her in
his bed. He shifted, pulling her closer, hugging his good arm around her,
putting his cheek on her head and softly kissing her. She murmured something in
her sleep.
Quad woke the next morning with her warmth against him, her breath on the skin
above his heart, his arms tight around her. He loosened his grip, gently rubbed
her back. She woke, smiling at him. Her eyebrows rose, asking him a question.
He frowned. Was she mocking him with her silence? She saw this and simply
sighed. She got out of his bed and Quad gave a soft groan to see her nakedness.
She came back and knelt at his side. She picked up his hand; it was his good
hand, and gave the palm a soft kiss, then placed his hand on her breast. For an
instant he let his hand linger, then he let it fall as he looked down in
sorrow. There was no need to give either of them false hopes. She put on her
clothes and left his room with no words.
Col came in shortly after surprised to see Quad had dressed himself. "Thread
house?" he asked Quad.
"Nnn." Quad shook his head.
"Then where?"
Quad thought of several options even while he was shaking his head, refusing
them all. Finally he sighed.
"Ooouusi."
"Outside?" Col questioned with a frown.
Quad nodded.
"Is by the doorway good enough?" Quad nodded again.
It had been a good day to simply be outside. The children came to visit and
Sula and Edge sat with him for a good portion of the day. Fives and Kix also
sat with him for a while. Then it had been dark and he hadn't seen Shaeeah all
day. Quad decided that was good thought it hurt. She must have decided there
was no future in staying on Dantooine.
Col carried him to his bed telling him that Shaeeah had gone herding with the
children. He laughed as he told Quad how she had milked one of the big cows and
gotten a face full of blue milk. Quad had grinned. He remembered the first time
he tried milking one of the bantha cows. He'd gotten a face full of milk and
then drooled upon as her calf licked his face. He reminded Col of that incident
and they both chuckled in memory.
Shaeeah came the second night as well and Quad sighed. She disrobed as she
entered his room, pushing aside the leather. Beautiful, Quad thought. He opened
up the blanket inviting her into his warmth even as he revealed his dead-still
legs, his dead penis for her view.
"Ded, Ssha..a." He said with only a minimum of stuttering and a twisted frown.
She looked at him, but said nothing.
Again, she curled up next to him. He groaned but couldn't help putting his arms
around her. Her face was tilted up to his and he knew she wanted a kiss. He
bent his head to hers, but couldn't bear giving her a kiss so he dropped his
face into the curve of her neck. She smelled so good, warm and spicy, like
winter tea. He loved her. He still loved her. He just couldn't let her know.
When she slept, her breathing soft and even, Quad kissed her. He kissed her
face, her delicate ears, her lekku. He grasped tchun and tchin in his hands,
gently tugging on them, squeezing them softy. He put tchin in his mouth, teased
it gently with his teeth, then sucking on the tip.
Shaeeah gave a low moan in her sleep and Quad froze. He noticed her nipples
were tightening and he knew that if he touched the cleft between her legs she'd
be wet. He stopped, knowing that what he'd just done had been wrong. It took
him a long time to fall asleep. I'm sorry, Shaeeah, he told himself.
She woke with a smile and a gentle groan of pleasure in her throat, early in
the morning, before sunrise. Stretching, she smiled up at Quad. She'd had good
dreams. He smiled at her, gently took her chin by the back of his crippled hand
and kissed her softly on the lips. She quivered as she carefully placed her
hands around his face and kissed him, not quite as softly. She felt him
swallow, felt the quivering in his arms and chest, but he pulled her close with
an arm, letting his fingers slide down her back. He closed his eyes, bringing
his face to hers. He kissed whatever his lips touched; from her lekku to her
lips, from her ears to her neck. Slowly his lips drew downward to her breasts
even as she stretched upward. His lips reached down to suck at her nipple, even
as his hand reached up to cup her breast. She moaned, her hands covering his
head, pulling him to her. He sucked at her breasts, pulling them with his lips,
gently nipping them with his teeth. Slowly his hand cupped around one breast
then slid down her belly, pausing on the curve of her pleasure.
"Sssha," he moaned with a breath, his eyes watching hers. He slid his good hand
between her legs, slowly pressed one finger against her opening and felt her
wetness. His groan turned into a whimper and tears filled his eyes. For him, as
broken and destroyed as he was, she still had rivers of wetness, rivers of
want, for him.
His arms, one at least, was still strong and he pulled her into an easy
position for him. He remembered the rhythms of her body, the nub that brought
her so much pleasure just a knuckles-distance above her opening. She was so
tiny, her opening only accepting one finger, but he knew that as he pleasured
her with his tongue, she could accept more and she loved the feeling of his
fingers stroking her.
He wished… so many things. He pressed the side of his head against her thigh
opening her gently with his fingers. He circled her pleasure with his tongue,
then probed and lapped. She writhed, her body bucking then quivering as she
stilled, wanted more of his tongue on her. His fingers, first one then another,
curved inside her, slowly pulling out, then quickly thrusting in.
Her breathing was wild now, her hips gliding up to meet his tongue, to press
herself against his fingers, her voice called his name. She was louder than
tent etiquette called for, but it was his name she was calling and if she
shouted it for the entire camp to hear, he didn't care. All he cared was that
she would peak, flowing rivers of desire then, sated, she would curl into his
arms, to kiss him to all distraction.
Her hips tensed, her entire body was taut, like a pulled bow. He lapped at her
wetness, massaging her nub with his tongue, his lips, his crippled hand. Three
fingers of his able hand pushed and pulled in and out of her to the tempo of
her need.
She came in a wild cry of his name that brought joy into his heart. The tension
of her body released in waves of pleasure that pulled at his fingers. The
tightness of her curled fingers in his hair relaxed into fingertips that curved
around his face. She came in tears and bubbling sobs, crying his name.
Then she kissed him. Slowly and softly at first, then harder and not just on
his face; but on his chest where she sucked and played with his nipples.
Nibbling his neck, softly sucking on his ears, more roughly on his neck.
Kissing him, as he wished, to all distraction. Shaeeah. His Shaeeah. His
wonderful, sweet, sexy Shaeeah.
They fell asleep again she curled in his arms, until much later in the morning
when they heard Col's voice.
"Shaeeah, I'll be going. If you want to come out to the calving pastures,
you'll have to come now because I am leaving".
Quad gave her a lop-sided grin and pushed at her, then gestured with his hand
for her to go. She quickly dressed and was gone. Sula, Kix and Edge came in
shortly after to see him staring at his crippled hand in grim determination. He
had dressed himself and was sitting on a low chair with bare feet, unable to
manage shoes. As they entered, he had raised his head and stared hard at Sula.
She had smiled.
"Emotions, Quad. Zeltrons are not very good at words."
Again he frowned then made a motion with his hands even as he spoke. "Dddaa
pad." Edge nodded as he rose and left. He returned in a few moments with a data
pad and handed it to Quad.
Quad wrote slowly, frowned at the scrawl, and turned it to Sula with hope. She
stared at it for a moment, trying to decipher what he'd written.
"Wong." He frowned and shook his head. "Wossen Sssnkr."
"Prognosis?" She glanced at him and he nodded fiercely; wanting, needing to
know the truth and finally willing to listen.
"You have a broken back. I don't think there's anything to be done about that."
She glanced at Kix who shook his head. "Perhaps a powerchair or hydraulic
prosthesis for getting around." She leaned closer to him, her hand touching his
arm. His fingers came up and stroked hers. "Your head. Well, you've gotten lazy
in your intellect. But your intellect, my dear Quad, it's all still there. You
were wounded, and so your brain rested and healed. But you let your intellect
get lazy. Your aphasia is both verbal and written, like Sinker's but more
pronounced in words. I don't believe it is affected in relation to maps and
numbers. There is the partial paralysis of the arm and hand, Quad. I don't
know. I think it will always be there. It is a part of you and you will always
struggle. The clot that was in your brain has disintegrated, but the damage has
been done. With practice it will be easier to communicate."
Kix spoke. "With practice and therapy you could get better at speaking, at
improving the dexterity in your fingers, at doing more. I've noticed some
people, Col and Ehveen in particular, have developed a way of speaking to you
that simplifies your part. That hasn't helped you in the long term. How much
therapy have you had?" Quad's blush told him how little that had been. "You
just gave up there, didn't you?"
Quad nodded and looked at Sula.
"Because you knew you couldn't go back to being what you had been." She
translated for him.
He frowned, looked down at the floor, and let Sula have his secret shame.
Tears flooded her eyes. "Oh, Quad. No."
He nodded and he made a wide gesture to the others. Tttell."
"He wanted to die. He had hoped to convince one of you, most likely Edge, to
kill him."
"It wouldn't have happened, Quad." Edge shook his head.
"Gggd," nodded Quad then he turned back to Kix. "Wwk." He pressed his fingers
to his chest then pointed a finger at Kix. "Ddo ther.." Kix waited, making Quad
say the entire word. "Ttthhher. Appy."
Quad spent all day with Sula and Kix, discussing possibilities. Asking Ehveen
questions, speaking with Adwr.
Col had been teasing Shaeeah about that morning with Quad; telling her even
Ehveen had never been that … enthusiastic. Perhaps Quad would no longer lack
willing partners. She had smiled. "I'm hoping they will lack, Col. I'm hoping
that Quad chooses to return to Saleucami."
"If he doesn't, Shaeeah, what then?" He asked and she shrugged.
"I ask you to sponsor me for immigration."
He sighed. "You know that clones don't deal very well with debilitating
conditions."
"No, I didn't."
"I'm healthy. I might have had twenty more years, certainly no more than that
without Cody's inoculation. Quad might have had five. There's no telling now;
even with the inoculation." He shrugged. "When faced with conditions that
prevent optimum use, our bodies just start to shut down. It was built into us."
Shaeeah nodded. "Does Quad know this?"
"I'm sure he does."
"Then he won't break my heart by dying with my father. I won't be putting both
of them in the ground at the same time." She looked at Col with tears in her
eyes. "It was why he left. He didn't want to break my heart by having me bury
him and my father at the same time."
"That's not likely to happen, Shaeeah." Col put his arm around her.
It was their last night and, again, they ate as a group. All of Quad's
brothers, and only his brothers, were there. The women of Dantooine had shyly
left them to speak among themselves, taking Shaeeah and Sula to gossip among
the women at the thread house. Dub and Col made kind jokes about Quad stealing
away the women. Quad had shrugged then spoke. "Nnnt sstay." He stuttered a long
time through the words. "Ggggo Ssha." But they were his brothers and they were
patient.
He was ready that night when Shaeeah came to his little room, removing her
clothing. Quad watched, saw her beauty and her grace. Quad smiled.
"Shha. Booful." Again it took him a long time to get out the words. Shaeeah
simply waited for him. She came to him, nude and naked, tears in her eyes,
kissing him.
"I love you, Quad."
"Llllov ou, Shha, llov ou." He wasn't quite pleased with his words, so he
reached out for her hand and brought her fingers to his lips, kissing them.
Slowly he formed the last word, wanting it to be perfect.
"Anything."
***** FOR HARUU II - EFFECTS OF NUMA *****
                                Effects of Numa
CT-4093 leaned, just for the moment, on the edge of the broken stone wall and
looked around. Mostly he saw destruction and desolation, ruins of houses the
same red and orange shade of the ground. Here and there he saw the dusky grey-
green of weeds growing in crevices of broken rock and shattered walls. He shook
his head in melancholy sadness and heard a small rattle.
That kriffing chert pebble was still in his helmet. He cussed and looked
around. There was only a Twi'lek nearby, a young female, scrounging around one
of the buildings. She wasn't obviously armed. Ninety-three decided it might be
ok to remove his bucket and find that pebble that had been intermittently
bothering him for seven klicks. He had learned to seal his boots, as well as
the armor of his legs and arms, against the sand and grit of Ryloth; but how
could one expect a pebble in the helmet?
He pulled off the helmet and shook it over the ground. Nothing came out. He
cursed and hit the side of it with his hand.
"Is anything wrong?"
By the time ninety three had catalogued it as a woman's voice and non-hostile
and probably the woman who'd been scrounging near the buildings and how the
kriff had she snuck up on him anyway; he had jumped up, pulled his blaster and
had his finger on the trigger.
Non-hostile was always an iffy call and he had survived the Clone War as well
as nearly a decade as a stormtrooper by being prepared for anything.
She glanced down at the blaster and took a small, very small, step back. "I'm
sorry I startled you." She looked into his eyes then smiled softly. "You took
off your helmet and I wanted to see your face."
He glared at her then shoved the blaster into its holster. "Yeah, right," he
muttered as gave the helmet another hit to loosen the pebble. "Same as anyone
else." He meant clone and she knew it.
"Really." Her eyes inspected his face, lingering on the lines of his eyes,
noting the scar that ran crookedly down his nose. It was his only
distinguishing face mark though he had a few more scars on his body.  Being
prepared didn't always work.
She was almost as tall as him, but slender. He wondered if she needed food, she
was probably scavenging for something edible among the weeds or something she
could trade in the market for food. He reached for a ration stick.
He jerked his head up, suddenly realizing he was talking to a civilian, to a
woman, and it wasn't him commanding her or him demanding information. It was…
different. He narrowed his eyes and observed her, the way she was standing, the
positioning of her arms.
She wasn't afraid of him.
He looked down at the ground. Not yet, anyway. Not until the squad caught up
with him and she'd be alone with him and five of his brothers. Women always got
scared then. Eighty two encouraged it by yelling at them or growling like a
wookie then laughing. Seventeen tried to be nice, offering them a ration stick
and talking softly. Forty-seven measured them with his eyes then leered at
them.  Forty seven had once been in interrogation until someone realized he
enjoyed his work too much.
"I saw one of you last week, but you look older than him." She nodded, as if in
confirmation to herself. "Much the same but older."
Ninety-three laughed with no humor. "Exactly the same. There isn't a molecule's
worth of difference between him and me except time and scars."
"But he's dead and you're alive." She looked around and found a place to sit on
the wall. Unnervingly, she patted the space beside her and tilted her head
expectantly. He took a step closer. Surely she didn't mean for him to sit next
to her?
"And I found out I had a question I wanted to ask but he was dead." She glanced
down at the stone then at him with a questioning look. "I did something
illegal. I buried him. I know we're supposed to report things like that, but it
was late in the day and I'd seen gutkurr tracks" She frowned. "I didn't want
him to be scavenged. I dug a shallow hole by a hill and there were two stones
that I pushed over on top of his grave."
Ninety-three thought a moment. He sat down, not close enough to alarm her but
close enough to touch. If she wanted to.  As if touching the plasteel plates of
his armor meant anything. Maybe it was a dare between her and some friends. He
glanced around but there was no one else in sight.
"I'm glad you buried him." Ninety-three genuinely was glad he'd been buried.
There was something unsettling about recovering remains scavenged by predators,
half-eaten, half-digested, and torn apart. "Can you remember where? We need to
identify and confirm him dead rather than AWOL."  He grunted.  As if a clone
was ever granted leave.  It was a stupid acronym.
"If you'll answer my question." She had a nice voice, soft and low with
harmonious undertones and a cadence he found relaxing.
He shook his head. "I can't tell you…"
She smiled. She really was very pretty. Her eyes were a velvet brown, almost
the color of his only slightly darker. "There is so much you can't tell me and
that's alright. I am not interested in things like field maneuvers or
passcodes. Simply, do you have a name?
"Ninety-three," he replied automatically.
"I'm Nerri," she responded and held out her hand almost in a brother's clasp.
Ninety-three stared at it for a moment then at her, before tentatively reaching
out his hand. For an instant, he wished he wasn't wearing his gauntlets and
wondered if her slender green fingers would feel warm or cool to his touch.
"That's a Twi'lek word for sister. Isn't it?" He hadn't been flash-trained in
the language, but a stormtrooper picked up a little language where ever he was.
"And ninety-three is a number." She shrugged. "Names are such odd things. If
they had asked me what I would prefer to be call, it wouldn't have been Nerri."
She looked at him and wrinkled her nose in humor. "It's so… prosaic. So
average. Half the girls on Ryloth are named Nerri. Who would I be if I weren't
Nerri? Would my name be Serina do you think? Or Ahsari perhaps? Lyrical and
sweet yet with some strength; that's the name I would want."
She saw him relax a tiny bit; the wrinkles around his eyes deepened. His lips
were relaxed and the corners turned up into an almost-smile. She smiled back.
"And if you weren't ninety-three, what would your name be?"
His weathered face became hard then and he glanced down at his helmet,
contemplated slamming it onto his head and leaving.
"I'm ninety-three. It's not a name. It's my designation; CT-18-4093. Clone
Trooper, eighteenth batch, fortieth crèche, ninety-third embryo. It is who I
am."
"Oh." There was pity in her eyes and ninety-three both recognized and hated it.
He slammed on his helmet and turned his back to her. He could see the dust
trail of his squad coming up the hill. He turned again, speaking to her. "You'd
better leave…"
But she was already half-way to the building. It was only later that he
realized even Seventeen wasn't that quiet.
Ninety-three looked for her occasionally.  A little in Nabat and the
surrounding villages, but mostly when his squad went on patrol. He'd move on
ahead or linger behind. Once they'd passed by the building, now bombed out
ruins, where he'd seen her. The squad decided it was a good place for a rest.
Ninety-three was worried she'd be there, but she wasn't and for that, he was
glad.
Then they got orders. The squad was being transferred halfway around Ryloth. 
From Nabat to the capital of Lessu. Ninety three didn't look for her anymore
though he couldn't help inspecting Twi'lek faces when he and the squad were on
patrol. Today, his last in Nabat, was no different. Tomorrow he'd be on a
transport and the day after he'd be doing patrol in Lessu.
It was a market day that happened to coincide with a festival day. The streets
were more crowded than usual with Twi'leks and a smattering of other races; the
market more packed with goods and entertainers. The mood of the people was
jovial. Some few even laughingly called greetings to the stormtroopers.
Bringing up the rear, Ninety-three was having a hard time keeping visual track
of the rest of the squad in the crush of bodies. He switched to HUD locator map
occasionally, not really caring if he bumped into people. They usually made
room for the armed troopers.
Suddenly she was at his side. Beneath his helmet, Ninety-three smiled for no
reason that he was aware of except she was at his side. Still, he kept watch,
his eyes and monitors scanning the marketplace.
"Hello Ninety-three."
"How do you know I'm Ninety-three?"
"You have that gouge in the plate of your blaster." She pointed to a long
scratch he would have repaired when it had happened, except they were short of
the special blacking paint. It didn't peel from the blaster heat, it heat-
tempered to the barrel. The shipment hadn't been kept properly cooled and had
cooked solid in the heat of Ryloth.
He thought for a moment. "You're observant, Nerri." He deadened his emotions,
his smile fading as he slammed down the pleasure that had been there a moment
earlier. That meant she was probably a rebel. That meant this marketplace
encounter could be a trap. He went closed channel to his squad. "Possible rebel
activity noted."
Seventeen snorted back and Eighty-two laughed. There was always possible rebel
activity in the market. Still, they'd prepare for the possibility of an attack;
they'd be ready.
"I've often been told that observation is a vital skill of survival." Her voice
was as soft as her skin looked. "Especially in war."
He decided the harmonious tones were almost a purr of pleasure. 
He really didn't want to be with her now, not if she were a rebel. Not if he'd
have to kill her.
"You're on duty. I don't suppose you could take off your helmet now," she
sighed wistfully.
"No." His voice was brusque as he only now remembered how her eyes had seen his
face before. He'd gone back to the barracks and looked at his weathered and
scarred face in a mirror wondering why she had seemed to take such pleasure in
inspecting his face.
She continued speaking, adroitly staying at his side in spite of the crowds.
"I'm leaving Nabat and I was looking for you to say 'good-bye'."
"Good-bye." Ninety-three felt relief. She'd be going and whether she was a
rebel or not, he wouldn't be the one to kill her.
Instead, she laughed. "Not like that," she smiled and reached out to touch him,
but let her hand drop short of his armor. "I had a nicer good-bye planned."
Ninety-three stopped short, jerked motionless by the suddenness of his thought.
She continued walked a few steps before realizing he had halted, frozen in his
steps.
She'd been looking for him? She had planned ? She had planned something nice ?
She had wanted to say 'good-bye' to him ?
She turned around and tilted her head. "Does that surprise you?"
He looked around, scanning the crowd. He couldn't see his squad anywhere though
his helmet had their positions overlaid on the map he had called up. "It shocks
me. I'm just a clone and…"
Nerri shook her head. "You are not 'just a clone', Ninety-three."
He had practiced his response in his mind, in case he met up with her again.
"I had a name once." He took the step to her side. "Dex."
Nerri smiled brightly and Ninety-three – no, Dex - smiled in his helmet. It was
a risk, if the sergeant ran his helmet vids, he would receive a reprimand for
claiming a name.
"That's a wonderful name. Much better than Nerri."
He laughed. "I happen to like Nerri."
"What does Dex mean? All names mean something, don't they?"
He nodded. "It's for dexterity. I was originally in EOD." He slung the blaster
rifle back onto his shoulder and held out his wiggling fingers for her
observation. "All ten original equipment. I was very good." He paused and
brought the rifle back into ready. "You wouldn't happen to be going to Lessu?"
Nerri look up into his face, into his helmet. He knew it was disconcerting to
look into the black slits and white anonymity but she simply smiled as though
she were looking at his face. "No."
He sighed heavily. "I was hoping I might see you there." He hadn't said he was
being reassigned but it was there if she wanted to notice." She shook her head
and Dex thought it was a sad motion.
"I understand there is fighting in the capital. You will be careful, won't you,
Dex?"
Why would she care? But it ran through his head that she might. Maybe she'd
known another clone trooper before. He'd heard rumors; he'd even seen one of
his brothers laughing with a civilian woman after the battle of Coruscant. That
had been Flick; before the Empire took away their names. Flick had died on
Kashyyyk soon afterwards, some six or seven years past.
"As careful as keeping my fingers." He assured her.
"I still have my question. From our previous conversation." She lightly put her
arm to touch him. Although it was on his armor, Dex thought he could feel her
warm fingers through the plasteel.
"I'd like to know where the dead trooper is buried, Nerri," he said,
remembering the bargain they had started to make then.
"He's at the eastern-most foot of Rylkurra Hill. I mentioned the two stones I
pushed over, Dex; they should be easy to find."
Dex nodded; a smile on his face she couldn't see. He hadn't thought of himself
as 'Dex' in a long time. For some reason it felt good, much better than Ninety-
three. He couldn't imagine why the Empire had forbidden names; it gave a man
pride to have a name.
"I didn't mention that I came back the next day and painted a bendu on one of
the stones."
He sighed. "You are a rebel."
"I do have rebel tendencies, Dex," she admitted. "But I have never fired a
blaster at a trooper or," Her fingers lightly brushed his. "Or set any
explosives or any traps. I don't know any rebel affiliates on Ryloth." She
stopped in the street. "I have never injured a trooper." She looked at him
through his helmet again. "You can see that, can't you? You can scan my body
and see that my blood rate hasn't gone up or my voice gone quivery. You can see
that I'm not lying. Can't you?"
Dex nodded. "Yes, Nerri. I can see that. Your readings are a little off from
normal, but you're not lying."
She turned quickly, but not before he saw the jade blush of her cheeks. He
frowned. What's that about?
"I just want to know if you've ever been kissed." Her voice was soft and
hesitant.
Dex was struck dumb. He looked down the road where the squad was nowhere to be
seen among the crowded bodies enjoying the open market and festivities. He
flicked the locators on his HUD. Everything was fine, everyone in place. He
frowned. Why the kriff would a civilian want to know that? His cheeks burned
under his helmet.
"Once," he mumbled. "By a port woman. She found out quick enough that I didn't
have any money."
Nerri was walking beside him, her head down, as though in mourning.
"Dex, will you take your helmet off for me?" Her voice was soft.
Saying nothing, Dex moved to an alleyway, his hand lightly clasped around her
wrist. She could pull away if she wanted.
Agilely, she followed. She slowed just enough that his fingers slipped from her
wrist into her hand. Her fingers curled around his. Once in the alley, he
glanced both ways then scanned through his helmet. Besides her, there was no
one around except people in the main market area. He pulled off his helmet, his
face tense and his eyes searching her face.
She touched the palm of her hand to the rough skin of his cheek. He closed his
eyes in trust. One finger brushed against the scar across his nose, then both
hands came up and stroked under his eyes, toward his temples. Kriff, it felt
good. He groaned deep in his throat. She guided his face down with her hand. He
shivered, knowing, anticipating, fearing what was to come. He opened his eyes,
just a small bit. He wanted to see her.
It was a kiss soft and sweet. Her lips pressed against his, moist and warm. 
Her breath was flavored with spice tea. Her eyes were mostly closed and his own
eyes drifted shut as he swore he'd never forget this gift. She finished the
kiss, pressing her face against his. Her skin was softer than anything he'd
ever felt. His hands came to her shoulders, his fingers touched her skin,
stroking her neck back to her lekku. His thumbs cradled her jaw as his fingers
supported the back of her head. There was a tear sliding down the hollow beside
her nose and he touched it with his thumb. She bent her head against his chest
and Dex wished he wasn't wearing his chest plate. He wondered how it would feel
to hold her against his skin; to feel the movement of her breath, the warmth of
her skin.
"For me," she whispered though there was no need. "You are Dex. I will always
remember you, Dex." She moved then took a step down the alleyway then turned
back and once again kissed him, her arms around his neck. He kissed her back as
though he'd never kiss again; memorizing her, the taste of her lips, the scent
of her skin.
Something had changed and he would never be the same.
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