Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13804323.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      Beep_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Wanperc/Bench/Alan_Harper, Grim/Noone
  Additional Tags:
      virgin_orgy, grim_puss
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-02-26 Words: 1631
****** Happy Merry Christmas Valentines Easter ******
by Big_Beep
Summary
     Valentines Day looms over the GameHub
          One nice sunny day where sun was smiling like that big baby in
teletubbies. The day was great it was v-day aka virgin day, so all the virgins
were celebrating with a game of spin the chocolate. They were hoping to turn it
into lose ur virginity day but that’s not happening because lol gamehub. Exdee.
So noone, toe, alan, wan(weiner), and bench were sitting in a circle in a dark,
shady room with moldy mushrooms far away from any normal inhabitance of man,
eating some chocolates they found on the shelf buried under the ground under
the brown brown really brown like really really brown dirt of a 90000 year old
mummy. Delicious.
Ori thought this was completely unsanitary and like any normal person she did
not participate also she was married and in a very committed relationship. Kona
took one look at the game hub and puked and had to be taken to the hospital.
Aya and karma were hapilly doing some valentines day chocolate shopping because
they actually have a life and people actually like them in real life.
Noone the the illiterate one read the back of the box that explained the rules.
“Why does chocolate have rules?” Bench asks. Wan gave her the stank eye through
his big boi dirt brown vision orbs, “Shut up and just listen.” The back of the
box, in ominous writing said:
 
Dis probably expired and yer a hoe for eating it. Each of these are laced with
love potions so have fun falling in love with the first person you see. Like
russian roulette but yer fucked, mayb literally.
 
Noone scoffed. The Forever-Virgins club of the gamehub would NEVER get fycked
so they were safe. “Yeah, these chocolates are good!” he called to the other
also illiterate memebers, who descended upon the chocolates like a flock of
greasy, balding, old, raggedy, molting vultures.
 
“Wow! Gluten free!”  said typical white boi Alan because only white Canadians
eat gluten free stuff bet he’s probably a vegan. He had a nut allergy (like the
food nuts or other  nuts ),  but it was the only relief to his depressed mother
that he didn’t have a maple allergy god forbid a Canadian to be allergic to
maple.
He took a bite, and vigorously convulsed and wanperc popped up in front of him,
greedy hands desperately grabbing at the remains of the chocolate heart.
Alan drooled long noodle (was it linguini)  like strands like a dog with rabies
in the summer.
“Wan….perc. No. WEINER. “ he whispered standing up, pupils diluted like the a
drop of clean bathwater in grim’s bathtub.  WAnperc didn’t notice, as he had
grabbed the chocolate out of alans cold, dead, comatose hands. Gobbling it up
like a turkey gobble gobble, Wanperc turned around to steal some more of the
precious chocolate to compensate for the lack of love hes reciveved in his life
and set his eyes on bench. In mid-lunge, wanperc turned his attack, into a s
woon.  “Oh benchie.! Light of my life, light lamp table, lightbulb in the
bathtub water electricity heart attack, goddess of shitty anime drawings…! LET
ME LOVE YOU.”
     Bench recoiled from the subhuman and let out a screech like an ostrich.
Somewhere at the mall Karma twitched. Bench refused to eat the chocolates and
dragged her small saggy flesh body towards the window. Quick as a snail, Alan
grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and
yanked her back, “Not so fast.” He grabbed a handful and proceeded to shove it
into her mouth. Bench suffocated and spat the chocolate all over his shirt that
he stole from some homeless woman down the street. It was too late, she had
deepthroated a pink heart chocolate and the the effects were immediate. She
opened her eyes and ogled the god-like structure of Alan’s jawline and
instantly fell in love with the Aryan male. “Hitler was right for not killing
such a thicc boi.”
     Meanwhile, for some reason Alan decided to sniff the chocolate and snorted
it like some crack cocaine addict.
Toe was busy stuffing his face in a corner with the chocolates. He smeared it
all over his lips, his chin, his nose, up his nose, down his shirt, in his
hair, he was basically making love to the half-melted chocolate. It dribbled
down his eyelashes, perched as delicately as a mantis on a swaying strand of
tall safari african wild-grass. Noone looked over from biting delicately into
his brown slice of heaven, and instantly fell head over heels.
“Grim...angel….my godly baby….have i ever told you how  beautiful  you are?
Your dainty features and movements bring me the utmost joy to watch you. I
could gaze upon your form for the rest of eternity.” Slowly creeping over to
grim like a 3-legged handicapped spider, noone darted his 8 foot long tongue
out to slowly lick the chocolate off grim’s chin.
 
Oh baby.
 
A quadruple.
At the wet, prodding contact, Grim looked up from his feast, alert like a
delapidated lion from his carrion prey. His eyes were the size of the moon, if
the moon were the size of two pin pricks of light. He made direct eye contact.
Noone can stop the orgy now.
Except by noone i mean no one.
Grim flipped on his back and started rapidly crab-crawling towards noone, his
eyes blank and focused like that of a half-rotting dead fish. The two men
possessed met in the middle, merging into a battle of wet, pink, flappy
tongues.
 
Even intoxicated with the powerful drug of the ancient candy, alan, bench, and
wanperc still had enough sense to realize that they were looking at here. Bench
screeched in horror, quickly scrambling to get away, and grabbing alan who
grabbed wanperc who grabbed -wait no he didnt want to touch that shit. The
chain quickly left through the basement window that was there as the only
opening of fresh air into the hell that was about to occurer.
   
Using his long spindly limbs to undress, noone stripped both himself and grim.
The taco man buried his face into grim’s curly dark hair, damp with the strong
smell of body over and moaned. Moving himself down grim’s thicc, luscious, body
peppered with hair growth, noone slumped to the floor, lying down and pulled
grim’s large thighs down toward him.
Here noone, i promised you grim puss and you’re gonna get it. literally.
Right in front of his face was a shiny, glistering, wet, pink, hairy, dripping
grim puss. The rancid stench hit noone straight up the nose. A drop of the
sweet liquid landed on his face and he licked it away, instantly hard at the
robust smell and taste. Reaching up with both kil me kil me kill me, hands, he
parted the heavily forested folds and buried his face in the covenant of Grim.
Both men groaned. As noone licked a long, languid strip up grim’s puss with his
rough tongue, grim bent his back in ecstacy, his flesh jiggling solidly with
every move. The room quickly grew stuffy, reeking of grim puss and the hazy
smell of sex as noone repeated his movements. Grim screamed like a goat.
Somewhere in fucking Canada (gross) Ghoat shivered in disgust and felt
extremely violated. But noone wasn’t finished yet. Diving his tongue deeper
into the humid hole, which was hotter than the hottest day in San Fransisco,
noone stretched his toungue out to touch the very depths of the abyss also
known as grim’s core.
The goat noises would echo for days.
 
After running across three streets and almost getting hit by Kruz’s tractor,
the trio finally landed in safety. At an abandoned warehouse. A sudden
realization occured and Bench realized that she was about to enter a threesome
completely against her will, despite her unwillingness the drug took over and
was like ‘want sum fuc’ and her brain was like ‘ye my guy I want sum fuc.’ She
lifted her shirt and threw it on the floor. Alana watched, mesmerized by the
scene as he observed the polyester fabric dragging across the smooth surface of
her skin. Alabama was never really into lolis until now. He reached over and
ran his daddy long leg fingers along her flesh and grazed her my little pony
lingerie, “It’s not Canadian enough,” Alan growled and tore it off her.
Wanperc, began to creep behind Bench and ran his tongue along her shoulder,
“Sharing is caring.” Bench shivered as the cold air and the contrast of his
wet, slimy and warm tongue.
 
“She has three holes I’m sure we can do it,” Wan said lazily as he sat on the
wooden boxes naked without caring whether or not he got ass splinters, his
erect, dripping dick just straight out in the fcking open and fckin waved
around, like some kinda fcking flag. Like seriously dude tuck that shit away.
Wan stuck it in her ear and Alan stuck it up her left nostril. “Is this what
they mean by wrong hole?” Alabama asked because these virgins didn’t even know
what a hole was.
A MY LITTLE PONY TRAINING BRA and bright pink lace pinky pie thong with
decorative maple leaf gemstones and hockey puck confetti was revealed under his
Canadian attire. “Hot diggity dog,” Bench paned. This was too Canadian for her
to handle.  They went at it like bunnies in a baseball stadium. That day, on
that one day, on that one day one day, they all and I mean ALL lost their
virginities(even ghost). THE END
 
Epilogue: Alan gets arrsted for underage fucking. Rei is his cellmate, and Alan
regrets everything as he is forcefully subjected to loli hentai everyday and
the sound of rei fapping every night.
 
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