Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1061725.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band), Larry_Stylinson_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Harry_Styles/Louis_Tomlinson, Niall_Horan/Zayn_Malik, Harry_Styles/
      Original_Male_Character, Nick_Grimshaw/Harry_Styles-Slight, Eleanor
      Calder/Louis_Tomlinson-Slight
  Character:
      Louis_Tomlinson, Harry_Styles, Zayn_Malik, Niall_Horan, Liam_Payne,
      Eleanor_Calder, Jay_Tomlinson, Mark_Tomlinson, Anne_Cox, Robin_Twist,
      Gemma_Styles, Tomlinson_Sisters, Nick_Grimshaw, Andy_Samuels, Original
      Male_Character(s), Original_Female_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Violence, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Bullying, Homophobic_Language, Anal
      Fingering, Top!Harry, bottom!Louis, Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg, Implied_Mpreg,
      Past_Underage, Unrequited_Love, Not_really., Regret, Forgiveness,
      Unplanned_Pregnancy, Rejection, Alternate_Universe, AU, Model!Louis,
      photographer!harry, Suicide_Attempt, Past_Child_Abuse, Past_Mpreg
  Series:
      Part 1 of Put_Your_Lips_Close_to_Mine_as_Long_as_They_Don't_Touch
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-11-28 Completed: 2014-08-18 Chapters: 40/40 Words: 216883
****** Ghost of You ******
by NiamJenn1994
Summary
     For Louis Tomlinson love was never meant for him or that's what he
     thought, that's what he used to tell him and he believed it. He did
     nothing but love Harry and all Harry did was destroy him. After four
     years of Louis avoiding Harry after he completely broke him he comes
     back into his life claiming what is his, begging for forgiveness and
     wanting what he could have had but threw away. To Louis he was just a
     ghost of the past, someone he still loves after everything and now
     his life is a mess.
     Amazing trailer by allymets5 go check out her stories. :)
     Trailer #1 http://youtu.be/X7VJR5YcKig
     Trailer #2 http://www.youtube.com/
     watch?v=7kpnG5sRv6o&feature=youtu.be
      
     CHAPTERS WITH A * ARE THE ONES I'VE EDITED SO FAR SINCE THIS FIC HAS
     MANY TYPOS BUT ITS STILL READABLE.
Notes
     New story! :)
***** Can't erase or numb the pain* *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Louis Tomlinson ran through the school hallways as fast as he could trying to
get away from the boy who tormented him on a daily basis, the boy who would
beat him to a bloody pulp and insult him. Words hurt more than actions,
especially if they came from they boy Louis was madly in love with. As pathetic
as it was, yes, Louis was in love with popular jock Harry Styles who hated him
with a passion and would bully him for the simple fact that he was one of the
gay kids in school and proud of it but lately he wasn't so proud anymore.
Louis had accepted the reality that he was gay when he was just fourteen years
old and he had walked in on his two best friends Zayn and Niall eating each
other's faces off, he had found it arousing something he didn't when he was
kissing a girl. He had tried to feel that same arousal whenever he kissed his
then girlfriend Eleanor but he could never feel it unless he was watching two
boys doing it. Luckily when Louis broke up with Eleanor a week later and
explained why she squealed and crushed him into a tight hug telling him he
could be her new gay best friend and that no matter what she would always be
there for him.
Eleanor had grown up into a beautiful young girl and as part of the populars
that included his main tormentor Harry, but nothing between them ever changed
even though the populars would always give her shit for hanging out with nerdy,
gay, four eyes Louis Tomlinson. He had started to develop feelings for Harry
when he was fifteen and hadn't come out yet, the green eyed boy Louis had known
since they were both thirteen when Harry had moved to Doncaster from Cheshire
was nice to him and had become friends with him when Anne started going over to
Louis' house for dinner. Harry had no sense of what personal space was and
that's how Louis found himself falling for him, falling for his cheeky
attitude, his charm and every thing that was his Harry.
Everything changed when Louis decided to come out at sixteen and the once
happy, sweet and nice Harry turned into a complete homophobic monster and after
almost two years Harry just wouldn't stop his abuse towards his once best
friend. Even though they were both seventeen with Louis only being about two
months older than Harry there was a great difference between them that was
beneficial to Harry but a nightmare to Louis. Harry was a head taller than
Louis, he had a broader frame, broader shoulders, he had a never ending torso
with lean strong legs that looked miles long, pink almost red plump lips,
bright green eyes and a head full of curly dark brown locks.
Louis thought he was gorgeous, a gorgeous monster in disguise that is. Louis
was the opposite of Harry, he was shorter, lean but curvy and even though he
was a nerd with glasses girls liked him and some were jealous of his firm and
round bum he had been blessed with and even some guys couldn't keep their eyes
off of him. He still had a bit of baby fat around his belly compared to Harry's
flat one, he had blue eyes instead of green, thin lips instead of plump ones
and straight caramel feathery hair instead of the curls he loved so much.
To Harry who was a football (soccer) player and a popular jock Louis was
nothing to him but a weak gay nerd that deserved every thing he did to him just
to show everyone else but Harry knew there was more to it than just bullying
Louis for being gay. As far as Louis knew Harry had been raised in a family of
very accepting people that consisted of his mother Anne, stepfather Robin and
an older sister named Gemma and that led him to believe that Harry didn't hated
him for being gay but hated him because of him, it broke his heart to know.
Louis wasn't a stalker boy obsessed with the guy he loved but could never have
because Harry was straight as a pole (just ask all the girls he had hooked up
with), he knew all about him since they were next door neighbors and their
bedroom windows were right in front of each other making it able for him and
Harry to get a great view of each other's bedroom. That's how he could see and
sometimes when their parents went out with the girls he could hear Harry
hooking up with all those whores even though he will shut the curtains and
listen to music on full blast leading him to believe Harry made louder noises
just to annoy him.
Louis was a virgin and Harry liked to make fun of him for it but Louis was no
stranger to that kind of pleasure, he would sometimes have a quick wank in the
shower to thoughts of Harry but he would never finger himself, stick it up
someone or stick something up there even though he had been tempted to do so
many times. The Tomlinsons' and the Styles' would have dinner at each others
houses since Anne and Jay were pretty close friends, Mark and Robin enjoyed
each other's company and Gemma was extremely nice to Louis and his sisters
whereas Harry was a dick to him but very sweet to his sisters and Louis
couldn't be thankful enough, nobody knew about the bullying and both boys liked
to keep it that way. Louis hated it whenever his mum would tell him to go to
his room with Harry before and after dinner which gave Harry an opportunity to
torment him again since he had to be nice to him around his family and Louis'
especially Mark because even though Louis wasn't his biological son he adored
him and treated him like he was and didn't put up with anybody harassing his
son.
If you're wondering why Louis was still a virgin it was because Harry would
always scare away any boy that took an interest in Louis and if he came too
close to actually losing it Harry would always find a way to interrupt them no
matter what even if Louis was in their room far away from Harry. Even though
Louis was so in love with him it still freaked him out to know Harry knew where
he was at all times but said nothing about it compared to his friends Zayn and
Niall who were a couple but were strangely left alone by homophobic Harry.
They insisted that maybe Harry had a thing for Louis and wasn't so straight
after all and after Eleanor heard about it she joined in on the idea even if
Louis already knew it was because Harry hated his guts, not him being gay after
a particular bad beating where Harry had told him he deserved no one and will
forever be alone as long as he was around. Louis had gone home and straight to
bed crying himself to sleep burying his face on his pillow to muffle the sobs
and trying to stop his shoulders from shaking too much but failing miserably
completely unaware of a pair of green eyes observing him from the window across
from his.
"No matter how fast you run you won't get away from me faggot!" Harry yelled
running after Louis who was beginning to slow down due to the burning sensation
on his legs and lungs.
He made his way out of the deserted school and into the woods behind the school
hoping to lose Harry along the way. He had stayed after school trying to finish
his art project that was due the next day and he couldn't afford to fail since
he was an A plus student and needed to keep it that way if he wanted a
scholarship to go to Uni in four months since he had already graduated but
still needed to complete his final art project. He had made sure that all the
football players were gone from practice knowing they practiced all year long
before he made his way out of the art room after turning in his completed
project and started walking home. He was startled when a hand grabbed him by
the arm and threw him against the lockers with a loud bang as Louis collided
against them, he looked up to see a smirking Harry towering over him and that's
when Louis took off running to get away from him.
Louis stopped running and hid behind a wide tree trying to even out his breath
to keep Harry from finding him and beating him like a punch bag again like last
week in the school bathroom. He stood there thinking about how in two days he
would be free of Harry knowing he had to leave to stay at his aunt's house for
a bit and even though it made him happy he was also sad to know he wouldn't get
to see him everyday like he was used to. A few minutes later thinking Harry was
gone he started walking home again when strong arms wrapped around his waist
then a hand covered his mouth tightening both grips when he began to kick and
scream against the person he knew it was Harry recognizing his scent he had
memorized after years of Harry standing too close to him to beat him up.
"What do you w- want?" Louis managed to yell when Harry took his hand off of
his mouth to wrap it around his waist lifting him up from the ground.
"You." Harry responded breathing hard against the back of Louis' neck where he
could smell the alcohol in Harry's breath and instantly figured out the
football team had been drinking this early to celebrate their last day as a
team even though it was prohibited to drink on school grounds.
"Stop! Please let me go Harry." Louis begged squirming around trying to get out
of his grasp but failing since Harry was a lot more stronger and taller than he
was.
"I've been waiting for this day for so long LouLou." Harry confessed walking
deeper into the woods with a thrashing Louis in his arms.
"W- what are you talking about? Just beat me up already and let me go." Louis
screamed trying not to cry because Harry was really starting to scare him more
than ever, what if he was planning to kill him.
"Ssh, you're gonna like it." Harry replied lifting Louis higher then threw him
down to the hard dirt ground with so much force his head collided against it as
Louis let out a sharp cry making him lose his glasses.
Agonizing pain shooting through his head was all Louis could feel before
dizziness began to take over and clouded his vision even more making every
thing blurry and his surroundings confusing, he felt Harry taking off his shoes
then his paint splattered shirt and jeans along with his boxers leaving him
completely naked right in front of his tormentor. He tried to cover himself up
with his hands but stronger ones pushed them away before he felt a set of warm
lips against his own kissing him hungrily, he began to cry and push Harry away
as much as he could but Harry didn't even move an inch.
"P- please don't do this." Louis pleaded full on crying already and trying to
push Harry away with both his hands feeling warm smooth skin against his palms.
As the dizziness kept getting worse Louis let his arms fall limply at his sides
but not before they brushed against Harry's lower half letting him know Harry
had pulled his boxers lower letting out his erection that Louis could now feel
against the inside of his thigh as Harry accommodated himself in between his
legs.
"Wanna know why I always scared those ass holes away from you? Because they
only wanted to get in your pants Louis but you're mine. I was saving you for
me, you're all mine not theirs." Harry said leaving open mouth kisses on Louis'
jaw, neck and chest then grabbing Louis' member on his hand pumping it as he
pleased while Louis let out strangled sobs.
How many times had Louis gotten off to the thought of imagining Harry in
between his legs, hovering over him as he thrusted in and out of him making him
feel like he was in heaven but now that it was happening and not the way he
wanted it he just wanted Harry off of him. He didn't want to feel Harry's lips
on his own and his skin, he didn't want to feel Harry's warm breath on his
neck, he didn't want to feel his hand around him as he sobbed ashamed of
himself at the fact that he was starting to get hard under Harry's touch and
kisses. He thought it was over when he no longer felt Harry on top of him and
as he tried to get up with difficulty since he was still dizzy and his vision
was cloudy he felt a warm hand on his chest pushing him down again then heard
what sounded like a bottle being uncapped.
"Harry I- I need to go h- home." Louis whimpered searching blindingly for his
clothes.
"Ssh, I'll- I'll take you home okay. Just relax." Harry said coating his
fingers with lube.
Louis let out a muffled scream through Harry's hand when he forced a finger
inside of him past the tight muscle and cried when another two were shoved
inside of him a little bit later, Harry watched Louis thrash weakly under him
and he knew he should be feeling guilty for taking his innocence he thought
belonged to him in his drunken mind, Louis was his, only his and no one else's.
He had gone through a lot to keep Louis' virginity intact for when he was ready
to take it and now that Louis was hard underneath him and ready to lose it
Harry didn't wasted time and quickly lathered his own cock with a generous
amount of lube.
"N- no! Please don't! Stop!" Louis cried when he felt the tip of Harry's thick
dick beginning to enter him pushing past his rim making it burn seconds later
after Harry had removed his fingers.
Harry quickly grabbed Louis' legs setting them over his shoulders at the same
time he kept pushing himself inside of Louis as slow as he could fighting the
urge to just pound into him and fuck him senseless until the blue eyed boy was
screaming his name in pleasure. He closed his eyes after he was deep inside of
Louis not moving, just taking in the feeling of Louis' tight hot velvety walls
surrounding him. He began giving Louis tiny kisses on his closed eyelids,
forehead, lips and jaw as Louis kept trying to push him off of him.
"I love you Lou." Harry whispered on Louis' ear wiping the tears off with his
thumbs and slowly pulled out leaving the tip in then slowly thrusting back in
feeling Louis digging his nails on his sides while Harry supported himself with
his left arm holding Louis down with his right.
Harry began to thrust in and out setting an even but fast rhythm while he
watched Louis fighting to stay awake through the tears that just wouldn't stop
falling and rolling down his temples out of the corners of his eyes, he knew
Louis had hit his head hard and he probably had a concussion but that didn't
stop him from grabbing his hips in a tight grip to keep him from moving too
much every time Harry thrusted into him bringing him closer and closer to his
release leaving behind bruises in the shape of his fingers. Louis moved trying
to get away from Harry changing the angle when Harry hit a particular spot
making pleasure shoot through his lower half and stomach letting out a moan
that had him crying harder as he scratched Harry's back trying to control
himself, he felt him pounding into him faster and harder moaning Louis' name
while Louis was beginning to feel that familiar heat pulling around his
stomach.
"H- Harry..." Louis moaned still trying to push him away as Harry kissed his
neck finding the feeling of Harry deep inside of him making him desperate to
just come and he hated himself for it.
Out of nowhere Louis came staining both Harry's and his chest with Harry
following shortly after shooting his load deep inside of Louis filling him up
as he felt disgusting and ashamed for the way it felt to have Harry come deep
inside of him, the way the hot sticky liquid felt inside of him and he sobbed
harder when he felt Harry's full weight on top of him and his hot breath. Harry
slowly pulled out watching as Louis winced and as soon as he was out he was
pushed away by Louis who was frantically putting his clothes back on avoiding
eye contact with Harry as much s possible still crying.
"Louis I-"
"Don't. Stay away from me you fucking rapist." Louis shrieked trying to get as
far away from Harry as possible, he couldn't hide the fact that he was scared
shitless of him.
"Louis please..." Harry tried again pulling his boxers back on and slowly
walked towards Louis who now had only his boxers and his shirt on and was
sitting far away from the spot where Harry had ruined him still feeling dizzy
as he searched for his glasses he had lost after Harry had dropped him.
"Here." Harry said giving him his glasses and Louis took them putting them back
on.
"Do you really hate me that much?" Louis cried wincing as he put his pants then
his shoes back on.
"Louis-"
"You're nothing but a fucking rapist. You're not so straight are you?" Louis
spat wiping away his tears.
"You wanted a cock up your ass and that's what I gave you. Don't tell me you
didn't enjoy it you slut, if you tell anyone about what happened I swear you
won't get to see another day and I'll fuck you so hard you'll wish you were
straight." Harry threatened putting the rest of his clothes on then walking
away after slapping Louis lightly on his cheek leaving him heart broken and
alone in the woods.
Each step Louis took served as a reminder of what had happened, of what had the
boy he loved done to him. He finally got home with a horrible headache, sore
thighs and bum, limping slightly as he walked inside to see the Styles sitting
in his living room and Harry's smirk widened every time he limped. Louis
managed to keep walking as normally as he could without getting too much
attention.
"Lou, sweetheart what happened to you? Why are you limping?" Jay asked getting
up to help his son sit down right by Harry as Louis fought the urge to get as
far away from him as possible.
"I- I'm fine mum, I'm just gonna go take a shower." Louis said getting up
feeling Harry's big hands on his waist helping him get up fighting the urge to
slap them away, an act everyone else thought was innocent but not to Louis or
Harry.
He rushed out of the living room as fast as he could towards his room wincing
in pain with every step he took up the stairs and as soon as he took his
clothes off in front of the mirror he gasped at the bruises in the shape of
Harry's fingers littering his hips. He got in the shower crying, scrubbing his
body with soap to wash away all the dirt, the feel of Harry's hands touching
him and he wished he had gotten those bruises under different circumstances,
wishing he had gotten them by having sex with the guy he loved willingly and
not by force. Every time he moved his lower back would hurt and he could feel
some of Harry's semen leaking out and he wished it didn't because that was
evidence of his wrong doing. Louis got out of the shower and the bathroom in
his room with only a towel wrapped around his waist and blood shot eyes almost
screaming when he saw Harry laying on his bed eyeing his suitcases that he had
already packed.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going love?" Harry asked looking at Louis
all over then smirking when he saw the bruises on his hips.
"W- what are y- you doing h- here? G- get out." Louis whisper shouted
completely terrified then took off running back to the bathroom to lock himself
in there when Harry bolted out of the bed and started running towards him.
He didn't even made it to the doorway when Harry's arm wrapped around his naked
waist and threw him on the bed landing face first then quickly got up to run
out of his room to his mum but not getting to when Harry grabbed him by the
ankles dragging him back to where he was standing quickly getting in between
his legs and hovering over him.
"No! Please stop! Mum help me!" Louis screamed hitting Harry everywhere he
could.
"Scream all you want they left, we're alone!" Harry screamed back yanking the
towel off of Louis then unbuttoned his new jeans he had changed into pulling
them down along with his boxers getting a tiny bottle of lube out and Louis'
eyes widened.
"Harry please, not again please." Louis sobbed.
"Shut up!" Harry yelled lathering his cock with lube then slamming into Louis
groaning in pleasure while Louis sobbed hiding his face on Harry's chest.
"Stop..." Louis sobbed too tired to fight as Harry slammed into him moaning
loudly.
"H- how are you still tight cockslut?" Harry moaned going in deeper.
"You should feel lucky I'm fucking you right now. No one will fuck someone as
ugly and pathetic as you. An ugly nerd." Harry spat going faster and harder as
Louis' heart shattered.
It was as if Harry had ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped over it
shattering it into millions of tiny pieces leaving him alone to pick up the
pieces and attempt to put them back together ending up with a scarred heart
that would never be the same. Something snapped inside of Louis as he felt
Harry coming deep inside of him, innocent thoughts and feelings were quickly
replaced by hateful ones, his warm blue eyes turned icy cold, the happy goofy
boy who thought the world was beautiful despite of everything no longer thought
and felt the same. Harry's words hurt more than his fists, they were forever
embedded on his memory, his touch forever embedded on his skin like a permanent
ugly scar. He stared at the ceiling with a blank look as Harry pulled out and
quickly put his clothes back on throwing the towel on top of Louis to cover him
up.
"If you're done do me a favor and get out of my house." Louis glared at Harry.
"Lou-"
"I said get the fuck out of my house." Louis yelled and watched as Harry walked
towards the door unlocking it then opening it glancing one more time at Louis
before leaving.
Louis waited to hear the front door close shut then see Harry walking to his
house from his other window before he ran towards the window in front of
Harry's shutting the curtains then bursting into heartbreaking sobs as he
desperately dialed Eleanor's phone number and when she didn't answered he
managed to leave her a message telling her he needed her and to come over as
soon as she heard his message. A few hours later Louis had managed to shower
again and get dressed when he heard the front door open then quick steps as
someone walked up the stairs. He burst into tears when he saw her holding an
envelope in one hand and her phone and purse on the other as he threw himself
into her arms.
"Lou what's wrong? I came here as soon as I heard your message." Eleanor rubbed
Louis' back.
"I- if I t- tell you you have to promise me you won't say or do anything."
Louis pleaded closing his eyes when she began wiping away his tears.
"I- I promise." Eleanor replied.
"H- Harry raped m- me...twice." Louis cried harder.
"What? I'm gonna kill that son of a bi-" She growled pulling away from Louis.
"N- no! Just...do you have the train tickets to London I asked you to buy for
me l- last week?" Louis asked.
"Yeah. Louis you have to tell your parents and the police." Eleanor begged
tearing up hating to see her friend like that.
"No. I don't care anymore, I just want to leave right now and never come back
here never see him again." Louis coldly said.
"If that's what you want Lou." She sighed.
"I'll text you Niall and Zayn later about my whereabouts and I'm gonna leave a
note for mum and dad. El please, whatever you do please don't confront Harry or
tell anyone." Louis begged and Eleanor couldn't help at seeing how desperate
Louis was.
Louis quickly loaded his bags in Eleanor's car and she drove him to the train
station ready to leave Doncaster and go to London, ready to forget about him,
to leave him and every thing he ever did behind. He had left a note to his mum
telling her he had decided to leave earlier and to not worry, that he'll call
as soon as he was at his aunt's house. He had also asked her not to tell anyone
where he was. Hugging Eleanor goodbye he got onto the train and left, he was no
longer a happy and stupid boy who let him walk all over him. From now on he
would not let anyone treat him that way, he would not let anyone walk all over
him. He'll be damned if he did, never again.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1378966178274_zps02ac613e.jpg]
***** All alone* *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter has a lot of flashbacks so if you get confused let me
     know. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
*Four years later*
Harry woke up with a start from his restless slumber panting and sweating as he
tried to forget the nightmares that haunted his dreams every single night. He
got up and walked towards the bathroom splashing some cold water on his face to
fully wake up, he had to get up for work anyways so there was no point going
back to sleep where he knew that as soon as he closed his eyes the horrible
nightmares would begin again.
It had been almost four years since he had last seen or talked to Louis
personally and he wished he knew where he lived, he wished to see and talk to
him again so he could tell him how sorry he really was about every thing he had
ever done to him even though he knew very well that he didn't deserved his
forgiveness at all. He used to always ask Jay where he was but she would only
give him a tiny sad smile as if she was hiding something and felt sorry for him
when she should hate him after he told her everything, every single thing. She
would always tell him she just couldn't tell him anything and now he hadn't
seen Jay in three years when he stopped going home due to too many bad memories
and a lot of work.
He still remembered the night his Louis had left for good as if it had only
happened yesterday, he had been in his room sitting on the floor crying and
hating himself for what he had done to Louis twice and the things he had said
before he left yet he had still said them like it was nothing and now they were
haunting him. Louis had looked so broken and just about ready to give up and
Harry had had the urge to run back in there and plead for forgiveness knowing
it was too late but Louis had yelled at him to get out of his house so he had
no choice but to do it.
He still remembered what happened hours later, he was sitting on the floor lost
in his own self hating thoughts when he heard someone knocking on the door
rather frantically and thinking it was Louis he immediately ran downstairs but
he felt disappointment when he saw an angry Eleanor in front of him just about
ready to cry even if she was fuming.
"What do you wa-" Harry tried to ask but a loud smack then a stinging cheek
interrupted him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you ass hole?" Eleanor yelled bursting into tears,
her face red as a tomato and make up running down her cheeks while Harry rubbed
his cheek trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her.
"What the fuck you bitch. What was that for?" Harry yelled trying to control
himself because there was no way he was going to hit a girl.
"You want to hit me don't you? Go ahead and do it but you'll wish you were dead
after I'm done with you." Eleanor growled.
"What the fuck are you on?" Harry yelled again.
"D- Do you have any idea what you've done to him Harry?" Eleanor yelled wiping
away her tears.
"What are you talking about?" Harry yelled completely confused.
"You fucking raped my best friend Harry, you ruined his life. Wasn't all the
torture you put him through enough for you, you had to do that?" Eleanor
screamed.
"He deserved it! He wanted it up the ass so that's what I gave him." Harry said
hating himself even more at not being able to control himself watching as
Eleanor took a step back looking disappointed but honestly Harry didn't give a
shit about what she thought or felt.
"I promised him to never tell you this but I know he hates you now. You hurt
him Harry, you really did and you deserve to feel like shit after this and so
help me God I will kill you if you go near him again. He was in love with you
ever since he was fifteen." Eleanor confessed.
"W- What?" Harry asked breaking on the inside and feeling like a monster.
"He was in love with you and even after you were done beating him and insulting
him he still loved you unconditionally, I thought he was wrong to love you
because you didn't deserved to have his love but that's Louis to you. You have
no idea how many times he begged Zayn to not go after you and beat you, how
many times he cried in my arms because he knew you hated him and would never
love him back the way he did. It was such an innocent and pure love just like
he was but you ruined it all, you robbed him of his innocence and you turned
all that pure love into hate. I hope you're happy." Eleanor confessed then
turned around walking towards the door.
"I- I gotta talk to him." Harry mumbled walking behind Eleanor who abruptly
stopped, turned around and glared at him making him feel so small and
insignificant just like he wanted to feel.
"You're late Harry, late for everything. Louis left a few hours ago, you will
never see or talk to him ever again and I'll make sure of that. Have a good
life ass hole." She said and left the house leaving a crying Harry standing
there all alone, he was alone.
Harry blinked the tears away willing the rest to go away as he got ready for
work, of course he hadn't talked to Louis but he had seen him, he saw him
everywhere. It wasn't until after Eleanor had left when he confessed to his
family and best friend Liam that he was gay and they accepted him with
welcoming arms but Harry wanted them to hate him for it as punishment for
everything he had done to Louis and now that he had lost him he had finally
accepted that all those feelings he willed to be hate were nothing but love and
admiration for him. Love because Louis was a beautiful person in and out even
if he had told him the opposite and every thing about he boy he adored.
Admiration because unlike Harry Louis wasn't afraid to admit who he was and
after all those things he did to him he still showed up to school with his head
held high and proud.
Deciding to just grab some coffee and a muffin on the way to work he grabbed
his needed equipment and left his expensive flat getting on his car and driving
off. Harry, an aspiring photographer back then was now the best and most famous
photographer out there known to be hired by the most important magazines and
companies to photograph their models even tough he had his own studio and had a
good income but none of that mattered when he wasn't happy. He was startled
when his phone rang loudly in his pocket just as he was stopping at a red
light.
"Hello?" Harry answered stiffening when he saw the brand new gigantic ad for
polo shirts featuring none other than Louis. Yes, Louis Tomlinson was now the
UK's most wanted and successful well paid male model in the UK, well basically
all Europe and America.
"Harry when you get home I need to talk to you. It's urgent." Liam said then
hung up as Harry stared at his phone rather awkwardly.
After work Harry made his way to his flat tired as hell from the long day when
he saw Liam leaning against the door waiting for him with a nervous expression.
He quickly unlocked the door letting Liam in putting his stuff down and turning
on the lights of the cozy yet empty enormous flat, he gestured for Liam to sit
down while he made tea and once he was done he took a seat in front of him
handing a cup to Liam.
"What is it that you wanted to tell me?" Harry asked taking a big gulp of tea.
"So umm, Teen Vogue wants you to do a photoshoot with a model for their cover."
Liam said looking straight at Harry.
"So? I've done millions of them, that's what was so urgent Li?" Harry asked
taking small sips of his tea as he watched Liam with an amused expression at
how nervous he was.
"The model Harry, the model's Louis Tomlinson. You're gonna be working with
him." Liam said trying to calm down and help Harry who was choking and coughing
trying to breathe."
"D- Does he know?" Harry desperately asked.
"Yes. He accepted but his friends Zayn and Niall, you remember them? They
argued with him telling him to just drop it. He's changed so much Harry, not
only physically but his personality is way different, he's cold and literally
doesn't take shit from people like he used to." Liam explained.
"You talked to him? Did he said something about me?" Harry asked pulling Liam's
arm rather frantically like a small child.
"I didn't get the chance but as he was walking out I heard him on the phone
talking to someone saying and I quote 'I miss you too sweety, I'll be home in a
little bit' maybe he has a boyfriend." Liam said thoughtfully.
"Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't." Harry whispered, honestly he hoped for the
latter.
He was nervous and scared to see him again, he wanted to beg for forgiveness
and to get a chance to make it up to him. Confess why he did it in the first
place, he just hoped for Louis to listen to him and maybe after talking to him
he'll be able to move on and start dating again since he hadn't had a boyfriend
or a hook up since that night but he knew that seeing Louis again would make
that impossible.
~*~
"Sweety I'm home." Louis shouted once he entered his flat with his friends
Niall and Zayn following him.
"Daddy!" A little girl yelled running towards him jumping into his arms.
"Hi love, how was your day?" Louis asked picking his tiny daughter up into his
arms and walked towards Eleanor who had offered to babysit her for the day
since her regular babysitter was sick.
"Hi unca Ni, unca Zee. Auntie El took me to the park then got me new toy story
p'jamas." She said excitedly pointing at herself and Louis smiled lovingly at
the way she pronounced pajamas.
"She did? That's very nice of her. Did you said thank you to auntie El?" Louis
asked.
"I a'ways say thank you." She smiled putting her hand on Louis' cheek.
"You ready to go to bed?" She nodded frantically. "Alright, say goodnight."
Louis held her closer to him.
"G'night auntie El. G'night unca Niall and Zayn." She waved yawning already.
Louis gestured for his friends to stay there while he went to put his daughter
to bed, after reading a bedtime story from her favorite book Goodnight Moon he
kissed her goodnight and was just about to leave when he heard her little voice
asking him something he had been avoiding to talk to anyone ever since he found
out he was pregnant.
"Daddy? Why isn't my other daddy here with us?" She asked him with those big
green eyes with specks of blue and those bouncy light brown curls that reminded
him so much of him.
"He can't baby." Louis answered hoping for his answer to be enough for her.
"But why?" She asked pouting her tiny plump pink lips more than they already
were.
"Because he can't. Logan why are you asking me all of this?" Louis asked
kneeling down next to the bed looking at the tiny version of Harry. The only
thing she had gotten from him was his nose, hair color, cheekbones and some
specks of his blue eye color that had managed to combine with his green.
"Because my friend Alex has two daddies and I only have one. I asked auntie El
why he's not here to play with me like my friend's daddy and she said we don't
need him 'cause he's a- a jerk and he gave you a booboo. Daddy what's a jerk?"
Logan asked suddenly interested in wanting to know.
"A jerk is what we call someone who is very mean and rude to others." Louis
explained as best as he could.
"Then he's a jerk and I hate him, daddy I don't wants him to play with me
anymore." Logan pouted crossing her arms over her chest
Louis actually frowned at that knowing his baby girl didn't know what hate
really was like he did, he hated Harry but at the same time he still loved him
like before if not more making him feel pathetic. He didn't want his daughter
to hate him even though she will never meet him and he didn't deserved her
either.
"You don't hate him love." Louis teased poking her pudgy belly trying to ease
the tension.
"Do too! He gave you a booboo daddy and they hurt because I got one yesterday."
Logan insisted showing Louis the little scab on her knee poking it with her
tiny finger and Louis smiled at how innocent she was.
"But you're all better now baby." Louis said pulling the covers over her and
kissed her goodnight.
"G'night Hunter." Louis mumbled turning the light off leaving her woody night
light on.
"Goodnight daddy. Goodnight Mr. Curls." Logan whispered half asleep.
Smiling, he walked back to the living room where his friends were waiting for
him. He looked straight at Eleanor who gave him a tiny shy smile trying to hide
behind Zayn while Louis walked closer and closer. If Logan was asking about him
it was his own fault for wanting his daughter to know the truth about not
having a mum but two dads instead and that he couldn't be with them for reasons
he left unexplained.
"She asked about him and why he couldn't be here with us." Louis said breaking
the silence and taking a seat on the sofa in front of his friends.
"What did you say?" Niall asked.
"That he just couldn't and she said she asked you El and you called him a jerk
then she called him a jerk." Louis explained rubbing his face with his hands.
"Well he is a jerk, more than that actually." Zayn scoffed and yelped when
Niall smacked him giving him a warning look.
"I'm sorry Lou, she just asked me out of nowhere and I didn't know what to say
because at the park he started playing with this little boy with two dads."
Eleanor explained.
"Don't worry El, it's not your fault." Louis sighed.
"And you're gonna have to spend time with him during the photoshoot." Niall
said worried.
"Louis why did you accept that?" Eleanor whined.
"It's the cover of Teen Vogue El, I'm not gonna let that ass hole ruin it for
me." Louis said.
"Just be careful Lou. We have to go, do you need a ride El?" Niall said getting
up followed by Zayn.
"No thank you Ni, I actually have my car today. Oh and Louis, I'm sorry but I
won't be able to babysit Logan tomorrow." El informed him.
"That's okay El, her babysitter will be here tomorrow." Louis smiled hugging
them all on their way out.
Once he was alone he went to check on Logan again and smiled when he saw her
fast asleep sucking on her thumb and hugging the teddy bear with her initials
on its tummy he had gotten her two weeks after she was born and that she had
renamed Mr. Curls after she got tired of calling him bubba. He walked up to her
leaning down to kiss her on the forehead pulling her curls out of her face and
as he observed her tiny face his eyes began watering thinking about how in the
world something so beautiful and innocent was the result of something so awful.
Harry was a monster who had tortured him for almost two years then raped him
breaking his heart and stealing his innocence in the process yet he was the
monster who had managed to knock him up and give him his most precious
possession, a daughter.
He walked out of her room leaving the door open then went straight to take a
shower and get ready for bed since tomorrow was the day he would be facing him
again and as he showered he couldn't help but burst into tears as he remembered
both times and all the things he said to him. Almost four years later he still
felt dirty, he could still feel his hands roaming through out his body touching
every inch of his skin, he could still feel his lips on his remembering how
much he had wanted to feel them before he was raped but wanted them as far away
as possible from his during it.
He no longer wished to feel them against his own or that's what he told himself
because it no longer mattered that he was still in love with a monster when the
hate was stronger than anything else. Harry had turned him cold, bitter and
hateful to at least anyone who messed with him or his daughter. He hated to
accept the fact that Harry had been the first and only man to ever enter him,
he was too scared and traumatized to do it with someone else since every time
he had tried all he could see was a sweaty Harry on top of him insulting him
while thrusting into him.
He hated himself and hated Harry even more for making him hate the tiny baby
growing inside of him when he was told he was pregnant wanting to get rid of it
as soon as possible because he couldn't be pregnant, he couldn't be one of the
few who could conceive much less be pregnant with his child. Louis remembered
how emotionally and mentally hard it had been for him the very first few months
in London living with his aunt, he would wake up every night crying and
screaming begging for and to Harry to stop until his aunt would comfort him
back to sleep.
Three months had passed since Louis had last seen or heard from Harry when he
began feeling sick and at first he thought it was the flu or a virus but when
the morning sickness, exhaustion and dizziness continued for more than two
weeks Eleanor, Niall, and Zayn who were also living in London for Uni dragged
him to a doctor knowing he was too stubborn to go on his own and while he was
waiting for the doctor and his three friends were waiting outside he began to
once again think about that day and his heart clenched with hurt and hate.
Louis got out of the shower drying his body and hair with a towel then pulling
a pair of boxers and sweat pants on deciding to sleep shirtless and as he lay
down in bed he closed his eyes going all the way back to when he received the
shocking news.
Louis kept bouncing his knee up and down as he waited for the doctor to come
back with the verdict and as he chewed on his nails he kept thinking that maybe
he was dying or Harry had given him something because he was pretty sure he
hadn't used a condom both times. Nothing could have prepared him for the
shocking news he was about to receive because 'yes' Harry had given him
something totally unexpected or bettet yet. Harry had given him someone and
that someone was growing inside of him.
"Congratulations Louis, you're pregnant." The doctor said smiling so big it
made Louis want to puke.
"This is serious. Really, what's wrong with me?" Louis asked laughing
nervously.
"I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them as honestly
as you can." Dr. Overand asked and Louis nodded as his bottom lip quivered
because that couldn't be happening to him, he was a man and he was pretty sure
he had a dick.
"Have you had intercourse with another male meaning he entered you?" Dr.
Overand asked and Louis burst into tears.
"Y- Yes, three months ago." Louis nodded not really wanting to go through the
embarrassment of telling her he had been raped and twice three months ago by
the guy he still loved but despised with all his being.
"Okay so-" She began.
"I don't want it! I don't want that thing inside of me, please get it out."
Louis pleaded hating to have something inside of him that belonged to Harry, it
was half him and Louis hated it as much as he hated that monster.
"Louis I'm afraid I can't do that, you're not thinking this through and its
unethical of me to practice an abortion. You should also know that if you
decide to terminate the pregnancy there's the risk of you dying or infertility,
you should talk this through with the other father before making a decision."
Dr. Overand explained handing a tissue to clean his nose.
"He's not around and I don't care, I just want it out. I'm a freak!" Louis
yelled.
"You're not a freak Louis, you have a gift and right now there's a little
miracle growing in there. I've worked with an OB before in dealing with male
pregnancies, you're not the first and only one and if you decide to keep your
baby I'm sure that with the right care you'll deliver a healthy boy or girl in
six months." She explained.
"What part of I don't want this thing don't you understand? Get it out of me
now or I'll find someone else to do it." Louis yelled crying louder.
"At least let me practice an ultrasound, it's the procedure I have to follow."
Dr. Overand said with an apologetic look.
"Okay." Louis mumbled.
"Please lay back down and lift your shirt up please." Dr. Overand smiled as
Louis did what he was told noticing a tiny round bump in between his hips he
had failed to notice before confusing it as fat.
"This is gonna be cold." She warned and Louis hissed at how cold it was.
"Can you hurry up?" Louis urged rather rudely.
"Just a minute...there it is. By the size of it I'll say it's about twelve
weeks and if you decide to keep it we'll be able to know the sex in eight to
ten more weeks." Dr. Overand explained as Louis watched the tiny grey blob on
the screen with mixed emotions.
Part of him wanted nothing to do with it because it was his and it will always
remind him of what he had done to him, he wanted to get rid of it as soon as
possible, he wanted it out and away from him as far away as possible because he
felt disgusting knowing he was carrying the result of something that had
scarred him for life. At the same time he knew the thing was half his and had
the right to live but hate was stronger than his love for his own child. As he
was thinking terrible thoughts about it and how he was going to find Harry and
kill that son of a bitch for doing this to him a fast thumping sound filled his
ears as the doctor informed him that that was its heartbeat and he began crying
even more because no! There was no way he could get rid of his innocent baby
who wasn't to blame for Harry's actions after hearing its heart.
That day Louis decided to keep his baby putting aside the fact that it had been
conceived in horrific and hurtful way and instead focused on his baby and how
he was going to tell his family and friends. He had had no choice but to tell
his family, Niall and Zayn how he had gotten pregnant and beg them not to
anything for his and the baby's sake especially Mark and Zayn who were ready to
kill. Zayn had been difficult because all he wanted to do was go after Harry
and rip him to pieces, he had stayed mad at Eleanor for a week for not telling
them.
Louis once again wiped away his tears as he lay on his bed wrapped inside his
cozy blankets smiling at the thought of Logan when he felt her crawling inside
the blankets next to him trying to climb on top of him as he instinctively
wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and Mr. Curls then set her upside down
on top of his chest just the way she liked it and fell back asleep as soon as
she felt her daddy's warmth. It was nights like those when he was gone all day
and she would sleep with him to get a good cuddle or because she was cold
making them his best nights.
He kissed her forehead and fell asleep hoping for tomorrow to go fast thanking
the gods because it would only be one day and he prayed so hard pleading for
Harry's presence to not have any effect on him. He saw pictures of him all the
time but having him standing in front of him in person would be a whole
different story, it would probably make him hate him even more and hopefully it
would make him stop loving him once and for all. No matter what was to happen
tomorrow Louis knew he had to hide Logan even more, not speaking about her like
he usually did when people who knew about her asked. Harry could never find
out, he didn't deserved to know he had a daughter.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1379109746285_zpsd19351f1.jpg]
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** Like a liar looking for forgiveness* *****
Chapter Notes
     Flashback again. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The bright sunlight coming from the windows awoke Louis who rubbed his eyes
feeling the weight and warmth of Logan on his chest then the wetness of the
small puddle of drool by her mouth. He slowly got up supporting her back with
his arms and set her back down on his still warm spot so he could go get ready
for this much dreaded day. He took a shower and put on an old shirt and
sweatpants to make a quick breakfast of cereal and milk as he was running late
for the damn photoshoot and he still had to get dressed and wait for Anna,
Logan's babysitter to get there. As he moved around the kitchen looking for
Logan's favorite cereal lucky charms and his cocoa puffs he thought about how
lucky he was when Eric had approached him with his business card from a
modeling agency two years ago when he worked as a cashier in Tesco to support
his daughter and himself because now he could give her a good life, every thing
she wanted and pay a good babysitter to take care of her while he worked.
"Daddy?" Logan yawned walking into the kitchen holding Mr. Curls close to her
chest with one hand and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the other as
Louis picked her up.
"Morning love." Louis cheered and chuckled when she put her head on his
shoulder and closed her eyes again, she definitely wasn't a morning person and
he couldn't help but remember that he wasn't either as Anne had mentioned it
one time during dinner.
"Love c'mon, let's eat some cereal. Daddy has to go to work." Louis placed her
down on a chair with a bowl of cereal in front of her and as he ate his cereal
he observed her eating her cereal clumsily with a smile.
"Daddy I wants to go to the park today. Can Anna banana take me, please?" Logan
asked suddenly so excited you might think she was faking being tired earlier
but that's just how she was and Louis was used to it.
"Sure but you're gonna listen to her. Are you gonna be a good girl for me?"
Louis asked finishing his cereal.
"Yes Lewis." Logan giggled nodding furiously taking another mouthful of cereal.
"What did I said about calling me Lewis?" Louis sighed trying not to laugh at
the way she said it.
"Your name is Louis, daddy Louis and not Lewis. But unca Zayn said I can call
you it." Logan argued looking at her daddy with a questioning look.
"Uncle Zayn was joking baby. Finish your breakfast while I go get changed
okay?" Louis said getting up from the table kissing the top of her head as he
walked by thinking of how innocent and naïve she was.
"Okay daddy."
Louis walked into his room where he quickly changed into a white long sleeved
turtleneck shirt and black trousers that fitted him well deciding to add his
favorite pair of suspenders since everyone always complimented him on how good
he looked whenever he wore them, he then walked to his bathroom to do his hair
leaving it down in a fringe. He was trying to impress him but in a way that he
would know he wasn't the same nobody he had been back then, he wanted him to
know that the ugly nerd who would never be loved wasn't any of those things
anymore and most important he wanted him to know he no longer let anyone walk
all over him. To Louis, Harry was still the biggest ass hole and selfish person
out there, he was a monster and he was glad his Logan had not inherited his
personality and only his looks. Louis ran to get the door when he heard the
doorbell knowing it was Anna letting her in.
"Morning Mr. Tomlinson." Anna, a short brown eyed girl with long blond hair
greeted Louis with a big smile.
"It's Louis not Mr. Tomlinson, you're only nineteen and I'm twenty two. Not
much difference plus you make me feel old." Louis smiled fondly at the girl who
he considered as a sister and who had been babysitting Logan since she was two
years old.
"Fine, Louis it is then. Where's my munchkin?" Anna asked looking around.
"She's in the kitchen eating her cereal." Louis responded walking back to the
kitchen.
"Anna banana!" Logan screamed getting off of the chair as fast as she could
careful not to drop Mr. Curls and ran towards Anna.
"Hi munckin." Anna smiled.
"Love, daddy has to go now okay. Be a good girl and I love you lots." Louis
said bending down to kiss and hug her.
"Bye bye daddy. I love you lots too." Logan said kissing him on the cheek.
"If you girls need anything or something happens call me okay?" Louis said
starting to get nervous for what was coming.
"I will, have a nice day." Anna smiled.
Louis put his shoes on and grabbed his cell phone, wallet and keys and left the
comfort of his home where it was just Logan and him waving one more time to his
daughter then drove towards the monster he had been avoiding for the past four
years. He fought away the urge to cry and the memories were pushed to the back
of his mind as he got closer and closer to the man he still loved with all his
heart but also the man who broke his heart and stole his innocence leaving only
hate and disgust in its place.
~*~
Mustering all he had in him Harry managed to get out of bed and get ready for
work stopping at Starbucks to get a blueberry muffin and hot chocolate, he
never ate in his house because what was the point of eating there where he
would be alone and everything would be too silent for his liking. He was
already on set preparing every thing and eating off of his muffin every now and
then when he saw him looking back at him and all the memories that always
haunted his dreams came back in a flash making him blink them away and when he
looked up again he was gone, yet the hate and disgust he saw etched on his face
would forever be embedded in his mind and heart making his chest feel tight
with hurt but what could he expect if he had ruined his life four years ago. He
had to admit Louis had dramatically changed not only physically but he no
longer gave out the same happy vibe he used to, he no longer did his hair like
he used to, he no longer wore glasses, baggy pants, loose t-shirts and his
beanies that Harry loved so much.
Louis was internally freaking out the moment he entered the building and had to
fight hard to keep his emotions under control while the elevator took him
closer and closer to him. The moment the elevator opened in the right floor
Louis froze because there he was, setting up his equipment and eating off of a
muffin completely unaware of him as millions of emotions went through him
starting with the need to love him, then the memories of the countless times
Harry beat him up and insulted him, followed by flashes of those memories that
no matter what he did they just wouldn't leave him alone, heartbreak,
disappointment, pain, hate and finally disgust. When he looked back at him with
those green eyes he saw in Logan every day all he saw was shock registered on
his face then he swore he could see sadness on his eyes but he gave a flying
fuck about how he felt and giving him the most hateful and disgusted look he
could come up with he turned around to meet with his stylist for the day.
Seeing him again after four years made him remember the night he went into
labour and gave birth to Logan all alone in the hospital with only a stranger
that had helped him and had been in the delivery room with him as the nurses
thought he was the father and honestly he would've preferred him to be instead
of Harry because he had been so nice as he waited for Louis' friends to get
there so he wouldn't be alone yet he felt alone more than ever. Once Louis was
dressed in a new outfit and his hair had been styled back into a quiff he made
his way back to where Harry was to wait for him to get started, he was talking
and smiling to one of the assistants there and Louis felt the urge to walk over
there and tell her to fuck off but quickly erased those thoughts away.
"L- Louis?" Harry nervously looked at him with a camera ready in his hands.
"Yes?" Louis coldly answered and smirked when Harry flinched a little.
"We're ready." Harry said looking away trying not to cry because now he knew
how much he had ruined him.
"About time." Louis snapped walking to stand where he was supposed to, in front
of Harry where he could see all of him just like that day and couldn't help but
feel vulnerable, feel his hands touching him, feel his lips and feel him inside
of him. It was something he tried to forget because it made his skin crawl and
the heartbreak intensify.
Harry observed Louis while he took picture after picture and noticed how deep
in thought Louis was and his face was relaxed, no longer showing the hate and
disgust that had been directed at him he knew very well he deserved. He
couldn't help but think how gorgeous he looked, he was a bit more curvier than
he had been before and he wondered why. His face was more defined and he had
grown just a few more inches but he was still taller than him but his eyes no
longer had their shine and were clouded with hate and sadness.
To Louis Harry was more gorgeous than he was before and he was beginning to
hate himself for thinking that way but what could he do if part of him was
still in love with him, part of him was still holding onto that feeling so
strong yet so weak. His hair wasn't as curly as it used to be since it was
longer and no longer in a fringe, his jaw was even more defined and he kept
chewing on his bottom lip, a habit he knew Logan had inherited from him because
she did it every time she was nervous, scared or about to cry pouting her lips
even more as she did so. He could tell Harry was nervous and that made him feel
superior for once in his life.
Thinking about her made him go all the way back to that night when he was
scheduled for a C-Section in three days but had gone into labour sooner than
planned with no one there to help him. He was already nine months pregnant and
since he was a male he was bigger than a female at that point in the pregnancy
and it annoyed him to no end because he couldn't do anything and Niall, Zayn,
and Eleanor who had moved in with him into a three bedroom apartment always had
to help him do stuff.
It was the thirteen of February and almost eleven when he made the stupid
decision of telling Zayn, Niall and Eleanor that if they wanted to go to that
party they had been talking about for the last month then they should go saying
that he was just gonna go to bed and that the birth was scheduled in three more
days and that he would be fine if he was left alone for a few hours. Big
mistake. Thirty minutes after they had left and Louis was already in bed
thinking about his son or daughter, he wanted the gender to be a surprise
ignoring Zayn's protests of 'I have to know the sex or I won't be able to sleep
and get the baby the right clothes' when he was startled by a painful
contraction hitting him lasting more than thirty seconds before it was gone
again, he slowly got up and decided to call his friends but was left to fend by
himself when no one answered.
Ten minutes later another contraction hit him stronger and longer than the last
one leaving him unable to move gasping for air and that's when he decided to
just head out to the hospital by himself because he or she could not drop to
his birth canal or his 'ass' and if his baby did both of them would be in big
trouble. He managed to put his shoes and coat on grabbing his keys, wallet and
cell phone stuffing them all in his pocket not noticing he had dropped the
phone as he slowly waddled to the front door holding his bloated belly with one
hand and supporting himself on the walls with the other complete with a bag for
him and the baby. The cold night air hit him hard as he walked along the
sidewalk trying to find a cab as soon as possible fighting the urge to just
slump down and cry because it hurt like a bitch, it was Harry's fault he was in
that situation and he was alone.
"Ow! Oh god, you can't get out now baby." Louis cried taking deep breaths
leaning against a cold wall holding his stomach with both hands.
The tears wouldn't stop falling as he waddled feeling like the baby was in
between his legs as he let out choked sobs every time a contraction hit him
harder than the last one making him stop to catch his breath again and again.
He reached for his cell phone and began crying louder when he realized he had
dropped it at some point just as another painful contraction hit him making him
fall down to the ground unable to get up again. He knew he was going to die
trying to give birth to his baby out in the cold street knowing his birth canal
wasn't designed for it and if he or she ripped him apart killing him then so be
it because there was no way he was going to let the baby die. He thought about
Harry and how happy he would be the second he found out he had died and it made
his heart ache.
"Hey man, are you okay?" A tall guy who was getting out of his still running
car that Louis hadn't noticed asked walking towards him.
"P- Please help me, I c- can't lose my baby." Louis cried trying to get up.
"Oh God you're in- you're in labour. C'mon I'm gonna take you to the hospital."
The stranger said carefully picking Louis up taking him to his car then quickly
driving away.
"Ahh, oh God it hurts." Louis wailed biting the sleeve of his coat and
breathing hard.
"We're almost there. I'm Andy Samuels, you?" Andy asked trying to distract him
away from the pain.
"Louis...T- Tomlinson." Louis answered then screamed as another contraction hit
him and Andy flinched when Louis grabbed his forearm squeezing it hard.
"Do you- do you want me to call your boyfriend?" Andy asked focusing on the
road then turned around to look at him when he heard a whimper.
"He's- he's not around, I don't want h- him around." Louis whimpered.
Harry could never find out he was pregnant and about to give birth, he could
never find out he was going to be a father, the father of a child that would
never be his. Harry was a monster and he didn't wanted him around his son or
daughter.
"Do you know what you're having?" Andy asked completely fascinated, he had only
seen another man pregnant and that was back in Wolverhampton when he was a kid.
"I-I don't know, it will be a surprise." Louis answered smiling a little at the
thought of his baby.
"We're here mate, wait...I'll help you out." Andy said shutting off the engine
then running over to Louis' side who was nearly screaming again holding his
stomach.
"It- it hurts."
"I know I know but just think that soon you'll have your baby in your arms."
Andy reassured him picking him again throwing the bag over his shoulder running
as fast as he could inside the hospital.
Louis was lucky that his doctor was in the main lobby talking to a nurse and as
soon as she saw him almost screaming in pain and holding his belly she
immediately rushed over with a wheelchair to take him to the third floor to be
prepared for a C-Section knowing they couldn't waste anymore time in order to
avoid the baby getting stuck in the birth canal. He was wheeled to surgery
leaving a worried Andy behind waiting and staring after Louis.
"What are you still doing here? Put this on and follow me, you don't want to
miss the birth of your baby." A tall blond nurse smiled handing him a pair of
blue scrubs, a surgical hat, booties and a medical face mask leaving him
confused until he realized.
"But I'm-" Andy tried to say.
"Follow me, we don't have much time left." The nurse interrupted dragging him
to where Louis was taking his time getting changed then disinfected.
"I'm sorry Louis, they think I'm the father." Andy apologized blushing as he
looked at Louis who seemed relaxed now.
"It's okay, thanks for helping me. I don't know how I'll ever repay you." Louis
smiled.
"For both of you to be okay is enough for me." Andy smiled.
"Okay Louis and-?"
"Andy."
"Right, we're about to start with the procedure. Louis please try and relax."
Dr. Lane said.
"Tell me what they're doing." Louis begged Andy who look fascinated and green
at the same time after a while when Louis began to feel small tugs.
"I-I think they're gonna pull the baby out now. You ready to hold him or her?"
Andy asked and Louis began to freak out because no, he wasn't ready at all like
he thought he was, like he had made himself and others believe for his own sake
and sanity.
"What- What does it look like...the baby?" Louis asked.
"It looks like a head full of light brown curly hair...I'm not sure but it's
definitely curly, not that much though." Andy whispered loud enough for only
Louis to hear.
"W- What?" Louis asked trying not to cry as he remembered him.
"Oh God, definitely light brown curly hair and oh my God, has the cutest plump
pouty lips." Andy gushed in awe unaware of Louis' mental break down.
"It's a girl, a valentine baby." Dr. Lane announced and when Louis heard her
cry for the very first time all he felt was rejection towards her running
through his heart, she couldn't look like him, she just couldn't.
"I don't want her, get her away from me. I don't wanna see her." Louis cried
closing his eyes refusing to acknowledge her as the baby cried louder and
wiggled around in the doctor's arm almost like she was sensing his rejection.
"Lou..." Dr. Lane trailed off understanding him knowing how he had conceived
her then gave her to a surprised Andy who had no choice but to hold the tiny
bundle of beige blankets.
"Louis...she's fine. She's a tiny beautiful baby, she's your daughter and she
needs you." Andy attempted to give her to him but Louis only flinched away.
"It's his too and she looks like him, she can't look like him he's a monster. I
didn't wanted but he fo- forced me." Louis cried and Andy sadly realized what
he meant, he didn't wanted to hold her because she looked like her other
father.
"If you don't wanna hold her at least look at her before they take her." Andy
begged, even though they were strangers he couldn't stand the thought of the
baby being rejected by her own father because of her other father's wrong
doing.
"I'm scared..." Louis mumbled fighting the urge to open his eyes until he heard
his daughter's miserable whimpers then opened his eyes seeing tiny delicate
arms and legs peeking out of the blankets flailing around and as Andy set her
on top of his chest with her head resting on it he looked down at her and was
left mesmerized. It was like love at first sight, it no longer mattered that
she was his and looked like him, all that mattered was that she was Louis' and
he was hers.
"I love you sweety, I'm sorry I'm so sorry." Louis cried wrapping his arms
around her tiny body.
"Louis I have to go, do you want me to call your family?" Andy asked wiping
away his tears.
"We already called his flat mates and they're on their way." A nurse informed
them.
"Thank you, Andy thank you so much for helping me." Louis said still staring at
his daughter.
"No problem, I'll wait in the waiting area until your friends get here. Take
good care of her, she's a gorgeous baby girl." Andy said looking one more time
at the baby before he smiled at Louis and left.
A few minutes later the baby was taken from Louis and he was taken to his room
where he waited for his three friends to get there and his baby girl to be
given back to him. It had only been about an hour since he had last seen her
and he already missed her, he missed feeling her move inside of him letting him
know that she was still there and would never hate him or leave him alone. He
wondered how he had gotten a gorgeous and innocent tiny human being out of a
mistake.
"Lou? I knew we shouldn't have gone to that damn party." A worried Eleanor
almost yelled walking in with Zayn and Niall following her.
"We're okay." Louis said trying to calm her down.
"That nice lad Andy told us he found you laying on a sidewalk." Niall said as
he reached to hug Louis.
"I'm sorry we didn't answered. Where's the baby?" Zayn asked looking around
secretly wishing so hard for a girl.
"The nurses will bring her in a few minutes." Louis smiled.
"Her? It's a girl? Oh my gosh yes!" Eleanor squealed giving Niall and Zayn an I
told you so look noticing Zayn's shit eating grin.
"What are you gonna name her? You never told us a name." Niall asked sitting on
the bed next to Louis careful not to jostle him around so much.
"Logan Hunter, I've always liked Logan," Louis smiled then frowned when they
didn't look too happy. "What?"
"Logan starts with an L like Louis and Hunter with an H like Harry. Why?" Zayn
asked hating to know this and fighting the urge to hunt Harry down for what he
had done to Louis who did nothing but love him.
"Because I'm the idiot who's still in love with him." Louis mumbled looking
down as his eyes filled with tears that rolled down his cheeks as Niall wiped
them away.
"Zayn, really!?" Niall glared at Zayn who looked down.
"Well I love both names- oh my gosh there she is." Eleanor once again squealed
as the nurse handed Louis his daughter.
"Hi love, I missed you." Louis said looking down at her who still had her eyes
closed as his friends stood by him cooing over her.
"She's gorgeous." All three of them said at the same time then laughed as they
shared a look, even that small Logan was like a copy of Harry and they just
hoped that didn't affected the way Louis saw and felt about her in the future.
"I love you sweetheart, daddy will always love you no matter what." Louis
mumbled fixing her tiny pink hat with a flower on it provided by the hospital
as she let out tiny squeaks moving her tiny arms around.
"Louis? Louis!?" Louis was taken back from his memory as he blinked looking
around noticing that time went fast when caught in memories then his eyes
filled with hate when he noticed Harry looking at him.
"Yes?" Louis asked.
"W- We're done. Could I talk to you?" Harry asked, eyes pleading.
"No, I have important things to do." Louis answered taking a step back to go
change back into his clothes and go back to his flat to cuddle with his
daughter for the rest of the day.
"Lou, please I-" Harry begged taking a step closer noticing how Louis' eyes
widened.
"Don't you ever call me Lou again you insignificant bastard." Louis snapped
glaring at Harry balling his hands into fists.
"I- I just wanted to apologize. I'm really sorry." Harry continued trying not
to cry as he watched how Louis looked at him with so much hate.
"Is that your way of setting everything right or do you just want my
forgiveness to shut your conscience up and feel like a decent person again?"
Louis asked wanting to know the answer.
"El told me you're in love with me after you left." Harry said and mentally
slapped himself because he was there to apologize and set things right again,
not sound like a cocky bastard.
"You never changed, you're still the same ass hole and I don't anymore, I
don't. Back then I was the idiot who was in love with a fucking bastard who did
nothing but hurt me and put me down over and over again but I would still love
him like a fool, would still look at him like he was a fucking saint. You're
nothing but a monster, a rapist and I hope you're never happy. I hope you're
miserable for the rest of your fucking life just like I am." Louis spat then
walked away with a now crying Harry following him.
"Louis please..." Harry pleaded grabbing Louis by the arm then stumbled a few
steps back covering his cheek after Louis had slapped him.
"Don't touch me." Louis nearly screamed trying not to panic as he watched Harry
with wide eyes.
"I- I wasn't going to hurt you." Harry mumbled, tears streaming down his face.
"You already did. I begged you to stop but you didn't. I never did anything
wrong to you other than love you with all my heart. Do me a favor and leave me
alone, I don't want to see you ever again." Louis glared.
"Louis..." Harry cried.
"Go to hell." Louis yelled walking out of there towards the dressing room to
change and leave as soon as possible.
"Hi Mr. Tomlinson, these are your clothes." The same assistant Harry had been
talking to earlier said handing him his clothes.
"Thank you." Louis mumbled taking the clothes.
"I think Mr. Styles fancies you." She said smiling and going through the
clothes.
"What?"
"I said I think Mr. Styles likes you, I could tell by the way he was looking at
you." She explained.
"He's not gay, he's straight." Louis argued.
"I've known him for three years and I'm pretty sure he's gay, he's never dated
anybody but I know he's gay because he told me so. I have to go, it was a
pleasure working with you." She smiled and walked out of the room.
As soon as she left Louis began breathing hard, Harry motherfucking Styles was
fucking gay and yet he had tortured him then scarred him for life and all for
nothing. He felt hot tears burning his eyes as he quickly changed back into his
clothes and ran out of there and the building as fast as he could wanting
nothing to do but lay in his bed and cry, cry until he could no longer shed
another tear, scream his throat raw until he could taste the blood. He wanted
to rip his heart out of his chest and stomp over it just so he could stop
feeling miserable, just so he could stop loving him. He hated himself for
loving him despite of everything he ever did to him, he hated himself for not
hating him enough. He hated himself for the way he had let Harry walk all over
him and as he drove home he swore to never let Harry get to him again like four
years ago when he was left an emotional and mental mess.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1385827332724_zps3b454caf.jpg]
      
     Feedback is always welcome guys! :)
***** The worst kind of pain* *****
Chapter Notes
     No flashbacks today. :)
     And while typing I listened to this song, that's how I came up with
     the name of the chapter, if you want to listen to it. :)
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCnKl5VQ10s
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Daddy!" Logan shouted getting off of the couch and running to Louis with a
chocolate ice cream cone in one hand.
"Hi baby." Louis said as cheerfully as he could feeling anything but that.
"You're back." Logan smiled giving him a sticky kiss since her mouth and the
area around it was covered in sticky ice cream including the tip of her nose.
"I am, did you go to the park?" Louis asked trying not to wipe off the ice
cream off of his cheek since Logan was watching him with eyes full of adoration
and she might think Louis didn't want her to kiss him.
It had happened once a few months back when she had given him a kiss while she
was eating mashed potatoes smearing some on his cheek and he had reached to
wipe it off not noticing his daughter was watching until he heard tiny sniffles
then saw her running to Zayn who caught her in his arms. She had cried for one
hour straight refusing to let go of Zayn or whoever was willing to hold her
while Louis kept trying to make her go to him until he decided to leave her
alone for a bit and as he had started walking to his room to tidy up a little
bit she began crying for him, they spent the rest of the day watching all three
toy story movies.
"Mr. Tomli- Louis. You're back early." Anna commented walking back into the
living room with Logan's towel in her hands.
"Photoshoot ended way earlier than I thought, the- the photographer was good.
Were you gonna give her a bath?" Louis asked fighting to keep the tears from
spilling.
"Yeah, she's a messy eater and I know she has to take a bath before bed or she
won't go to sleep but she's sticky." Anna carefully explained as if she was in
trouble.
"It's okay, I'll just clean her up with a wet wipe. Don't worry about it."
Louis tried to smile.
"Are you okay?" Anna asked putting the towel down glancing back at Logan who
was watching The Amazing World of Gumball almost as if she were hypnotized by
it and giving the ice cream kitten licks.
"Y- yeah I'm just tired. Let me give you your paycheck for the week, tomorrow's
saturday so I don't need you to babysit her for the weekend and you can take
the rest of the day off." Louis said walking over to his room coming back with
a check.
"Thank you. Are you sure you're okay? Your nose is red and your eyes are
watery." Anna asked with concern written all over her face.
"I think I'm coming down with a cold, I'll be fine. Don't worry about it.."
Louis insisted.
"Alright then, have a nice weekend. I'll see you monday munchkin." Anna said
picking Logan up and kissing her sticky cheek.
"Bye bye Anna banana. I love you." Logan giggled giving her a kiss back.
"I love you too darling." Anna smiled giving her to Louis before she left.
"C'mon love, I need to clean you up a bit." Louis said after Anna had left
walking towards the kitchen where he grabbed a wet wipe out of the drawers
cleaning her face as she squirmed trying to get away.
"Stop." Logan whined leaning backwards, away from the evil wipe assaulting her
face.
"You're sticky, I need to get it off." Louis insisted and after a while she
calmed down after he promised to take her to the park again the next day.
They spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies, eating, and playing all
the while Louis tried so hard not to break down and cry because it wasn't fair,
it wasn't fair at all what Harry had done to him. He had written the words
'worthless fag' with Sharpie on his locker, he had ruined his chances of ever
dating anyone and actually willingly losing his virginity to any of them only
to be taken away by Harry who as sick as it was had been saving it for him to
take. He had no right to, it wasn't his to take and what hurt the most was that
if Harry had had reciprocated his feelings for him then he would have had
willingly given him his virginity up in a heartbeat. Even though he would never
forget all the awful things he said to him, all the bruises he gave him, how
disgusting he made him feel while he was on top of him touching him he still
had to thank him for giving him his most precious possession. He had given him
Logan who would look up from her coloring book to make sure her daddy was still
there and then give him the most precious smile before going back to coloring
and Louis knew she was only his, not Harry's, only his and he would never let
him go near her.
"Love, it's time for your bath then bedtime." Louis smiled at a pouting Logan
whose bedtime was at eight pm sharp and needed to take a bath time before.
"I wants a bubble bath." Logan cheered forgetting about her coloring book and
running to her bathroom leaving a trail of clothes behind and Louis picked them
up but unable to smile as usual knowing that soon he'll get his release.
She played with her dolls as Louis filled the tub with warm water pouring in a
good amount of strawberry scented bubbles and once it was half full he picked
her up and slowly lowered her into the water where she immediately began
splashing water around as Louis knelt on the floor next to the bathtub sadly
looking at her wondering where he would be now if he didn't had her. He'll
probably be alone just like Harry had said he would with the exception that he
wouldn't be there either.
"Daddy look! I'm a mermaid." Logan giggled showing him by moving her legs
together as if she was swimming.
"You are! You are my beautiful little mermaid." Louis cheered back not as
enthusiastically.
"I'm the mermaid princess and you and daddy no name are the kings." Logan said
picking up one of her dolls as Louis washed her hair, his eyes quickly filling
with unshed tears.
She kept playing with whatever toy she could find in the bathtub while Louis
rinsed her hair and washed her tiny body wiping the tears away stopping when he
heard a small gasp and saw Logan looking back at him with wide green/blue eyes
full of concern for a three almost four year old.
"Daddy why you cwying?" She asked beginning to cry herself and Louis
immediately picked her up wrapping her in her warm and fluffy pink towel
holding her close to his chest letting the tub drain out then walked back to
her room to get her dressed.
"I'm not crying baby, I got soap in my eyes." Louis lied as he dried her hair
with the towel.
"Okay daddy." Logan said getting distracted with Louis thanking the gods and
wishing he could easily get distracted just like her.
"Goodnight baby girl, I love you." Louis said kissing her forehead after he
brushed her long hair, dressed her, read her a story and tucked her in.
"Goodnight, I love you too daddy." Logan whispered and Louis smiled a little
turning off the light and walking to his bedroom where he stripped down to his
boxers and got on his bed.
Minutes later he couldn't hold it anymore and began crying as the silent sobs
violently shook his body wanting nothing but to end the pain already but he
couldn't, he had a little girl, a daughter that depended on him, his baby girl
who he loved with all his heart and who was his sunshine. He couldn't leave her
alone no matter how miserable he was. He turned on his side when he abruptly
remembered Harry telling him Eleanor had basically confronted him and told him
his secret after he asked her not to, finding out that he knew he was in love
with him made him cry harder because for almost four years Harry had known he
was in love with him and never bothered looking for him to apologize until now
when Louis didn't needed it anymore.
He was angry at Eleanor for telling him but later he figured out that it didn't
mattered anymore because what's done was done and she had always and still is
there for him along with Zayn and Niall whenever he and Logan need them. Wiping
way the tears that burned his eyes he decided to just go to sleep earlier so he
could have enough energy to play tomorrow with his daughter because as small as
she was that little girl was brutal when it came to the park.
~*~
Harry got to his flat earlier than expected throwing his stuff down and going
straight for the shower and as he stood under the water he finally burst out
crying silently like he always did. 'I hope you're miserable for the rest of
your fucking life just as I am.' 'I never did anything wrong to you other than
love you with all my heart.' Those words kept repeating themselves in his head
over and over again torturing him to the point where he fell on his knees
covering his face with his hands. 'Back then I was the idiot who was in love
with a fucking bastard who did nothing but hurt me and put me down over and
over again but I would still love him like a fool, I would still look at him
like he was a fucking saint.' And Harry remembered the countless times he had
caught Louis staring at him longingly and would look away blushing and Harry
cried harder as he remembered how badly he would beat him up for looking at him
when the poor boy did nothing but love him. He was probably the only person who
had ever loved him sincerely and unconditionally not caring about his flaws and
he had wasted it all away with his actions. 'You're nothing but a monster, a
rapist and I hope you're never happy.' He was right and Harry knew it, Louis
hoped for him to never be happy and that's what was happening, he wasn't happy
and never will be.
He got out of the shower after cleaning himself clumsily wrapping a towel
around his waist and changing into a black hoodie and jeans, after he was done
he walked back to his living room turning the tv on that he never used and
started watching a random show for kids called The Amazing World of Gumball
finding it quite funny but at the moment he couldn't laugh nor smile. He began
wondering what it would be like now if he had done things right, if he had
never bullied Louis and accepted who he was. If he had come out on time and
confess every thing to Louis then maybe they would be together now and they
would be happy because after almost four years he was still in love with him
and after seeing him again in person those feelings were stronger than ever.
"Harry, open the door!" Liam yelled from outside the flat as Harry looked up
and walked towards the door wondering what Liam was doing outside yelling
instead of knocking.
"Why are you yelling?" Harry asked right before he noticed him carrying Chinese
take out and a few drinks, he immediately took the food motioning for Liam to
come in.
"So uh, I invited one of my friends from Wolverhampton to come over. Hope you
don't mind." Liam said.
"Nah, the more the merrier." Harry said walking to the kitchen to get three
plates, two spoons and a fork for Liam.
"Haz...are you okay?" Liam asked taking a seat on the couch noticing how
depressed Harry looked.
"He absolutely hates me Liam. It's like...he's not the same." Harry almost
yelled turning off the tv plopping down on the couch next to Liam.
"Well what did you expect? I don't wanna be an ass hole but if he's like that
it's all your fault an-" Liam said getting interrupted by the door.
"Your friend's here." Harry mumbled taking a bite of his food watching Liam as
he got up to answer it.
Harry used that time to reach for one of his bags taking out a printed picture
of Louis looking at it but quickly putting it on his coffee table forgetting
about it when he saw Liam walking back in with a man taller than he was.
"Harry this is Andy Samuels, Andy this is Harry Styles." Liam introduced them
as they shook hands.
"Nice to meet you." Andy smiled taking a seat in front of Harry and Liam.
"Me too, is this your first time here in London?" Harry asked trying to smile
but feeling like he rather be crying and drowning in his own misery.
"No, I used to live here but I moved to Manchester a few months ago. Thank
you." Andy said taking the plate Liam offered to him.
"Harry and I went to Uni in Manchester!" Liam exclaimed elbowing Harry who only
nodded smiling a bit.
"Tha- oh, is this the Louis Tomlinson? Wow he's changed a lot since the last
time I saw him." Andy said putting his plate down picking up the picture with a
smile on his face making Harry want to rip the picture away from him.
"Harry worked with him today, do you know him?" Liam asked trying to get Andy
to talk for Harry's sake.
"Not really but we met under special circumstances, I'll never forget that
night." Andy said still looking at the picture and taking a bite of his food.
"Why, what happened?" Harry asked trying not to sound desperate.
"It happened- and I'll always remember the date because I honestly experienced
a miracle. It was february thirteenth three almost four years ago, I was
driving home from work through this really deserted street late at night when I
noticed him walking alone with difficulty then out of nowhere he fell down and
just couldn't get up again and I decided to see what was wrong." Andy
explained.
"What was wrong?" Harry urged wanting to know desperately what had been wrong
with Louis.
"This is where it gets interesting. He was in labour and by the looks of it it
looked like the baby was going to pop out at any minute and that wouldn't have
been good for the father." Andy said with a faraway look as if he was
remembering while still eating.
"He was- what?" Harry asked not believing what he was hearing because if Louis
had been in labour almost four years ago then that meant the baby was his son
or daughter.
"Male pregnancy is not uncommon anymore guys, it's completely normal and
accepted. At first I didn't know what was wrong with him until I asked if he
was okay and he literally begged me to help him saying he couldn't lose his
baby and without thinking I took him to a hospital." Andy said taking a sip of
his drink as Liam and Harry stared wide eyed at each other.
"Did- did the b- baby made it?" Harry asked hating himself for what he had done
to Louis, hating the thought that Louis could have died that night trying to
give birth to their baby in the cold streets and couldn't help himself but
press for more information.
"Yeah we got there on time but the whole way he wouldn't stop screaming and
crying every time a contraction would hit him. A nurse actually thought I was
the father and she dragged me to surgery with him, that's why I experienced a
miracle. I experienced the birth of a beautiful baby girl, I remember she was
the cutest and tiniest thing ever with her tiny pouty plump lips and a head
full of already curly hair the color of Louis' hair. She had curly hair like
you Harry." Andy smiled putting the picture down eating almost finishing his
food.
Harry felt like his world was falling apart as he heard the last sentence
echoing around his head making it spin uncontrollably. He had a daughter, he
had a daughter with Louis and he never bothered looking for him to tell him he
was pregnant with HIS child. He didn't know her, she didn't know him and he
wasn't part of her life because Louis had never bothered to tell him, he felt
jealous remembering that Andy had been there, had welcomed her into the world
taking a place that belonged to him. All Liam could do was stare at Harry wide
eyed and before Harry could say something Andy started talking again breaking
Harry's heart.
"I was telling him what his daughter looked like and as soon as the doctor
announced it was a Valentine baby girl he started freaking out telling the
doctor to get her away from him, that he didn't wanted her or to see her. It
broke my heart to see him like that then the doctor gave me the baby to hold
since she had to stitch him up and all I could do was beg him to hold her and-
oh god. I didn't know why he would reject her like that out of nowhere when
earlier he had been excited and- and he started panicking telling me how she
looked like him and that he was a monster who had forced him. That- that son of
a bitch abused him and that's why he told me he didn't wanted the other father
around them when I asked him if he wanted me to call his boyfriend." Andy said
shaking his head at the memory.
"He did hold her right, he accepted her?" Liam asked for Harry who was too
stunned to ask himself.
"Yeah, I got him to hold her and it was such a precious moment but it tore me
up when he apologized to her for not wanting to hold her. I wish I could see
them again and see how they're doing, he had three friends there with him right
as I was about to leave but I honestly wouldn't be too surprised if he gave her
up for adoption because I've never seen that little girl around him whenever
he's out in public." Andy said finishing with a sigh.
"I- I don't feel too good." Harry mumbled taking deep breaths.
"Harry what's wrong?" Liam asked.
"My- my head hurts, a migraine." Harry lied wanting them to leave and Liam
quickly understood.
"Andy you still up to go to that bar?" Liam asked.
"You read my mind mate." Andy laughed.
"Why don't you go ahead and I'll be there in a minute." Liam said.
"Yeah. It was nice meeting you Harry, hope you feel better." Andy smiled waving
at him and heading for the door, as soon as he was gone the dam broke and Harry
started crying harder than he had ever cried before.
"I- I have a daughter! Liam we had a...a daughter and he never looked for me
just like I did to tell me. He- he hid her from me and- and I don't even know
if he has her." Harry wailed looking at Liam with desperate eyes.
"What did you expect? I'm sorry for what I'm about to say but did you think
that after all the things you said and did to him he would come back to tell
you, that what you did to him not only had emotional and mental consequences
but also a child was conceived? It doesn't work like that Harry, you just told
me how much he hates you and what not so I wouldn't be surprised if he gave
that baby up for adoption and if he kept her...if he kept her he probably
doesn't want you around her. I gotta go Haz, please don't do anything stupid."
Liam said picking up the dirty dishes and trash heading for the kitchen to put
them away then walked out of the flat leaving Harry in his own misery.
Harry pulled his legs close to his chest wiping away the tears that just
wouldn't stop falling thinking about Louis and their daughter, he smiled a tiny
bit at the thought of her and how much he already loved her even though he
didn't know her and would possibly never know her if Louis had given her up and
if he did he was going to look for her. All he wanted to do was run out of his
flat and find Louis just so he could see her, hug her tight and tell her how
much he loved her. He wondered what she looked like and whether she looked like
Louis or him or a perfect combination of both of them, he wanted to know what
her name was and her personality, he wanted to know what her favorite color
was, her favorite show, he wanted to know every single thing about her but
couldn't.
According to Andy she was a Valentine baby so that meant she would be turning
four in just a month, she had been born thirteen days after his birthday and he
smiled just at the thought of her. However, his smile began to fade when he
began to remember how they had conceived her and how he had yelled horrible
things at Louis while hurting him, he cried harder as he remembered how Andy
said he found him on the streets all alone trying to get to a hospital knowing
he could have been there if he hadn't been an ass hole. He wanted to die just
thinking of what Louis had gone through and how he had rejected her just
because she was his. He wanted to get on his knees in front of Louis and beg
for forgiveness and beg him to let him see her, he knew Louis might never
forgive him and might never let him meet her if he still had her because of all
his damn mistakes and all the things he ever said and did to Louis.
The thought that Louis and himself will forever be tied by a daughter wouldn't
leave his head, it wouldn't leave him alone. He had fucked up big time and he
wanted nothing but to go back in time and do things differently because if he
had done things differently then maybe he wouldn't be alone like he was. He
remembered how after beating Louis up he had told him that he would forever be
alone with no one to love him, he sobbed realizing that he was the one who was
alone with no one to love him. Louis had their daughter and he was sure she
loved her dad with all her heart, Louis had every thing and he had nothing but
he deserved it. Wanting to talk to someone he got up and went to his room to
get his cellphone dialing his mum hoping she would pick up, she knew every
thing and after months of her watching him with disappointment they finally had
a heart to heart conversation with Harry telling her every thing and his
feelings for Louis.
"Harry?" Anne said through the phone getting worried since all she could hear
was Harry's soft cries.
"Mum! I- I have..." Harry sobbed trying to talk but failing.
"Harry calm down, breathe honey. Baby what's wrong?" Anne frantically asked
getting worried as Harry only cried harder at the word baby.
"T- that night mum, that night had consequences and- and I- I have daughter
mum." Harry sobbed as he rocked himself back and forth sitting on the floor by
his bed.
"Did Louis told you?" Anne asked.
"No, a frie- you knew?" Harry asked feeling betrayed that his own mother knew
and had kept it to herself.
"Harry I-" Anne pleaded.
"All this time you knew about her existence and you never bothered telling me?
Wh- what are you gonna tell me now? That you know her and she knows you and
calls you grandma when I don't know a single fuck about her! Everybody knows
her except me, she knows everyone except me." Harry screamed feeling a hole in
his chest.
"Harry love calm down, I just found out a month ago." Anne explained wanting
nothing but to run all the way to London and comfort her son.
"H- Have you met her? Please mum, please tell me what she's like." Harry
pleaded.
"I don't know her Harry. Louis hasn't visited ever since he left, he never does
since the Tomlinson's always go to London to see him. I found out when I was
over for dinner and Daisy came in running with pictures of Louis holding a baby
and after questioning Jay she had no choice but to tell Gemma and I." Anne
explained.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asked completely broken.
"Jay begged me not to tell you just following Louis' orders of you never
finding out." Anne slowly said trying to ease the blow.
"W- Why would he do that, why would he keep me away from my daughter? My, she's
mine too, he had no right!" Harry cried desperately.
"Harry...." Anne teared up.
"She's mine..." Harry softly said feeling his chest tightening with hurt.
"Harry think of all the things you ever did to him...he was in love with you
and all you ever did was hurt him and abuse him all because you were afraid of
being yourself and he wasn't. That night you finally and completely broke him,
he's not the same anymore and it took him a while to at least smile a little
again. I'm sorry that I have to tell you this Harry but he hates you, Jay told
me he can't forget about what you did to him and he doesn't want you around
Logan." Anne explained feeling bad for the situation they were in.
"Her name's Logan?" Harry eagerly asked as he wiped the tears away.
"Logan Hunter. Jay couldn't show me a recent picture of her because Louis
refuses to give her any afraid that you or anyone of us could see it." Anne
said.
"S- So that means he kept her." Harry asked hopefully.
"Yeah, he kept her and Jay says she looks just like you and all she got from
Louis was his nose, cheekbones, hair color and some of his blue that she says
managed to combine with your green." Anne gushed as Harry smiled and cried at
the same time feeling happy but depressed all at the same time.
"How did you find out?" Anne asked.
"Andy, a friend of Liam came over and started telling us about how he helped
Louis when he was about to give birth in the street when he saw the picture I
took from today's photoshoot." Harry explained calming down a bit.
"How did it go?" Anne asked.
"Horrible mum, I wanted to say how truly sorry I am and he yelled awful things
at me that I deserve and now the guilt is eating me alive more than ever
knowing all the things he went through because of me." Harry said.
"Do you- do you want to see the pictures?" Anne asked nervously.
"You have pictures?" Harry asked getting up from the bed pacing back and forth
in his room.
"I discreetly took pictures with my phone when they weren't looking." Anne said
feeling guilty as if she had murdered someone.
"Please mum..." Harry begged.
"Honey I gotta go but I'll message you the pictures and please promise me
you're not gonna do anything dumb. I love you baby." Anne said.
"I love you too mum, bye." Harry said hanging up and desperately waiting for
the pictures.
It felt like centuries before Harry heard the phone vibrate telling him he had
a message, he shakily attempted to open it cursing a few times when he messed
up. He finally opened it and began crying when he saw the two blurry pictures,
looking at them tracing Louis' face then his daughter's with his finger.
"Logan Hunter..." Harry repeated bringing the phone close to his chest crying
loudly knowing no one would hear him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Harry whispered laying down on his bed uttering
cries and apologies no one would ever hear.
He had to set things right with Louis if he wanted to see his daughter, he fell
asleep clutching the phone close to his chest and thinking of ways to see them
and dreaming of Louis and the daughter he knew nothing of but wished with all
his heart to do.
Chapter End Notes
     Pretend that's Logan. Lol
      

     [ photo PicsArt_1380729257700_zps94417596.jpg]
      
     Comments and kudos are appreciated. :)
***** I love you more than I can ever scream *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Harry slowly opened his sore eyes looking around his bright room shielding his
eyes with his hands, he felt something poking his right side and reached to
pick it up noticing it was his cell phone. Confused as to what it had been
doing underneath him he turned it on gasping as the memories from last night
came rushing back hitting him like a train, he genuinely smiled again for the
very first time in many years as he looked at one of the pictures his mum had
sent him last night. It was a picture of Louis holding and feeding their
daughter smiling lovingly down at her while she had Louis' pinky in her grip,
he scrolled to the next picture to see Louis looking at the camera smiling so
big looking happy holding her and Harry couldn't help but feel slightly jealous
at the thought of her knowing him and calling him daddy while he had none of
that.
 
He stared at her wishing he had been there when she was born, that he had been
there holding and feeding her while both of them would exchange small glances
and tender touches looking forward to being together as a family but of course
that would never happen because as much as he wanted to be with them and form a
family he knew Louis would never allow it. Turning the phone off and plugging
it in to charge he noticed it was almost noon and he groaned getting up to take
a shower knowing he had already wasted half of the day sleeping instead of
getting up early and do something productive like capture the early morning
with his camera.
 
After showering, getting dressed, and getting something quick to eat he grabbed
his camera and the necessary items before heading out to take a walk around the
area hoping he'd see something he liked and take a picture to add to his never
ending collection of random pictures. After walking for a while he ended up in
a park not too far away from his flat where he sat down in a bench observing
all the kids playing and then he lowered his gaze to go through the pictures
saved up in his camera not wanting to look like a pedophile. He was busy
analyzing a picture of a red rose when he heard the small cry of a little girl
right in front of him, he looked up to see a really small girl sprawled on the
ground and without thinking he immediately got up to help her.
 
"Hey love, you okay?" Harry asked her bending down lifting her up putting her
in a sitting position on the grass.
 
"I fell..." She said about to cry.
 
"Hey it's okay, you're okay. See? Nothing happened, you're fine." Harry said
trying to keep her from crying.
 
"I got a booboo and daddy doesn't like it." She teared up looking up at Harry
whose breath was taken away the moment he saw her tiny red face due to the
tears and her mesmerizing big green/blue eyes.
 
"You're fine sweety, don't cry." Harry soothed pulling her curls away from her
face.
 
"You have curly hair too." She gasped reaching up to touch it forgetting about
her injury as Harry who usually hated people touching his hair gladly let her
touch it as she ran her small fingers through it feeling a connection with the
little girl.
 
"I do. What's a princess like you doing here alone, where are your parents?"
Harry smiled getting up lifting her up into his arms as he looked around trying
to find her parents.
 
"I lost my daddy." She shrugged it off playing with his curls.
 
"I'll help you find him." Harry smiled grabbing his camera then started walking
around the park with her in his arms.
 
"Daddy!" She squealed pointing at someone behind her and as Harry turned around
with a smile on his face it quickly faded away when he saw him standing there
with a teddy bear on his hands, his wide frightened eyes flickering nervously
between who Harry now knew was Logan and himself.
 
Harry's eyes filled with stinging tears and his bottom lip trembled looking at
Louis then turned his head to look at his daughter who was looking back at him
with her green/blue eyes and how did he not notice it was her. She reached to
wipe away a stray tear with her finger pouting her bottom lip.
 
"Why are you cwying curly, are you sad like daddy?" Logan asked stabbing him
straight in the heart and before he could answer she was ripped away from his
arms by a furious Louis.
 
"Get your filthy hands away from her." Louis nearly growled turning around to
walk away from Harry with Logan in his arms.
 
"Louis...Louis wait. I know she's my daughter too." Harry said making Louis
stop on his tracks as he hid Logan's face on his chest then turned around
staring daggers at Harry who felt small under his murderous gaze.
 
"She is not! Stay. Away. From. Her." Louis spat through gritted teeth trying to
hold a squirming Logan.
 
"I can't-I can't do that. Y-you can't keep her away from me, she's as much mine
as she's yours." Harry argued walking closer to Louis standing in front of him
pleading with his eyes.
 
"Watch me." Louis glared not moving an inch.
 
"Louis please, I just want to see her. Please..." Harry begged.
 
"You just did, now leave us alone. Leave the park so she can play in peace."
Louis glared knowing he was being childish but at that point he didn't cared at
all.
 
"Louis please..."
 
"Daddy I wants down." Logan screeched completely oblivious to what was going
on.
 
"Not now Logan." Louis scolded moving away from Harry when he tried to touch
her back.
 
"Just please let me at least hug her." Harry pleaded, his eyes filled with
shiny tears that made Louis feel bad for him, Harry had done awful things to
him but seeing him like that broke his heart.
 
"I can't let you do that, she doesn't know you and you're gonna scare her."
Louis held her closer to his chest while she tried to unsuccessfully get down.
 
"Just...she let me hold her earlier. I have rights too you know, she's my
daughter too and I have the right to see her whenever I want to." Harry said
not wanting to argue but what else could he do if he was desperate.
 
Louis sighed setting Logan down as Harry took another step closer. "Why don't
you go play with the other kids while I talk to that man." Louis said as he
crouched down to Logan's level.
 
"Daddy I wants to play with you." Logan whined wrapping her skinny arms around
Louis' neck.
 
"We will love but I gotta talk to him right now."
 
"Nooo...." Logan wailed clinging to Louis as he wrapped his arms around her
looking at Harry's sad expression.
 
Harry sighed before kneeling down gently grabbing his daughter by the arm to
make her look at him and his heart broke at the sight of her tear stained face.
" You don't like playing with the other kids?"
 
"They don't like me curly." Logan mumbled looking at the other kids.
 
"Well I like you. I think you're the prettiest princess in this whole park."
Harry smiled tapping her nose making her giggle as Louis watched in awe feeling
jealousy and anger at how comfortable she was with him.Harry looked up at Louis
with pleading eyes and Louis sighed as he nodded.
 
"Who are you?" Logan asked and Harry took a big breath knowing that what was
about to say wasn't what Louis had agreed to with him at all.
 
"I'm...I'm your other daddy." Harry said cupping her head with his hand
bringing her forward into a hug while he cried and gently rubbed her back.
 
"Daddy..." Logan whimpered and Harry immediately pulled back to look at her
with a smile that immediately turned into a frown when he saw Logan looking at
Louis and not him.
 
"I think you've done enough. Just...stay away from us." Louis said picking her
up as she immediately hid her face in the crook of his neck wrapping her arms
around it.
 
"I...no! She's my daughter too and I have the right to see her." Harry argued
getting back up.
 
"She was never yours, you're never going to see or talk to her ever again. Got
it?" Louis hissed walking away but stopping as soon as he heard the words Harry
spoke next, his blood going cold.
 
"I don't think a court will agree with you, I'm her father too and like I said,
I have rights." Harry said.
 
"You're threatening me again like that night? I didn't wanted you around then,
I don't want you around now. Get that through your sick head, you were never
supposed to know about her. You don't deserve her." Louis hissed as Harry
flinched remembering what he had said to Louis that night.
 
"I just want to be in her life, I want her to know who I am. I want to spend
time with her, Louis please." Harry begged standing in front of Louis reaching
out for Logan who looked back at him with a mischievous tiny smile before she
spoke again.
 
"Auntie El says you're a jerk. You gave daddy a booboo." Logan sighed resting
her head against Louis' cheek while Louis observed Harry's broken expression.
 
"I didn't meant to baby girl, I didn't meant to hurt daddy." Harry mumbled with
tears on his eyes as he fought the urge, the need to tell her much he still
loved her daddy.
 
"Just go, get out of my life." Louis said putting Logan down as she kept
yelling Alex over and over then she took off running towards a blond little boy
her age grabbing his hand pulling him towards the playground.
 
"Lou-" Harry took a step closer to Louis.
 
"You had no right to tell her that." Louis snapped startling Harry due to
Louis' completely different tone of voice once they were alone.
 
"And you had no right to hide her from me." Harry spat back starting to get
angry.
 
Louis scoffed, "What the fuck did you expect, huh? You raped me, you tortured
me for years, you beat the shit out of me for being gay when you're one
yourself. You didn't deserved to know, you don't deserve her and I wasn't going
to let her grow up around you." Louis whisper shouted glaring daggers at Harry.
 
"I'm sorry okay! I know it was wrong and I'm so sorry. It's just...You made me
question my sexuality and I hated it. I hated you for making me fall in love
with you more and more every time you smiled or even glanced my way and I was
scared." Harry confessed avoiding Louis' gaze choosing to watch Logan play.
 
"-Bullshit. You don't hurt the people you love. If you had really loved me you
wouldn't have hurt me the way you did, I never hurt you." Louis sighed looking
at Harry who was trying to hold back the tears and he almost felt bad for him.
Almost.
 
"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I don't deserve anything but I can't
stay away from her...or you. I can't just pretend she doesn't exist, she's
right there and she's mine. I already missed almost four years of her life."
Harry said looking at Louis desperately.
 
"Try." Louis snapped watching her pick a few red wild flowers from the edge of
the playground.
 
"What if I asked you to do the same? Would you be able to forget about her,
would you be able to go a day without her?" Harry asked then smiled when he saw
Logan clumsily running up to them holding the flowers she had picked.
 
"I'm not the one who fucked up." Louis mumbled before Logan got there.
 
"Curly?" Logan timidly asked offering him the small flowers and looking up at
Harry with wide eyes as Harry crouched down in front of her.
 
"Are these for me?" Harry asked smiling so big his face might split in half at
any minute at the thought of her giving him her first gift.
 
"Mhm." Logan said shifting from foot to foot.
 
Can-can I get a hug?" Harry asked her afraid that she'll say no but smiled when
she nodded, she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head on his
left shoulder as Harry held her tight silently crying.
 
"I love you baby girl, dad loves you and I promise I'll never let anything bad
happen to you. I promise I'll always take care of you and be there for you. I
love you." Harry promised cupping her head on his hand rubbing her scalp and
looking at Louis with watery pleading eyes.
 
Louis internally groaned already feeling his walls crumbling down all around
him. He had pleaded to Harry to let him go twice and he didn't listened so why
would he but at the same time he felt the urge to make him feel better despite
of everything he had done in the past, the old Louis was coming back and he
didn't liked it. He watched as he talked to his daughter making her giggle
surprised that she was comfortable around him even though she had only known
him for a short amount of time. He knew what he was about to do was going to
comeback and bite him in the ass and he was going to regret it but he couldn't
let Harry take him to court and put Logan through that. Harry had finally let
go of Logan and she ran back to her friend who was patiently waiting for her as
Harry watched her lovingly and with adoration clear on his eyes.
 
"If-if I let you see her you promise you're not gonna hurt her?" Louis asked
looking at Harry.
 
"I would never hurt her, I would never hurt you, not again." Harry wiped his
tears away.
 
"I don't want you around her but I don't want you to claim custody or something
like that so yeah...I'm gonna let you see her every now and then." Louis said
looking at Harry.
 
"T-Thank you." Harry smiled wanting to hug him.
 
"Who told you?" Louis asked sitting on a bench in front of them with Harry
following.
 
"Last night Liam invited one of his childhood friends over to my house, the
same person who helped you that night. He didn't know we know you." Harry
explained.
 
"Andy Samuels? Thanks to him Logan and I are alive." Louis said unable to be
mad at Andy and making Harry flinch.
 
"How often would I be able to see her?" Harry asked watching her.
 
"I don't know." Louis said feeling extremely weird and confused sitting with
Harry having a conversation after every thing he had done to him.
 
They silently watched Logan play with the little boy Louis assumed was Alex
until an older kid roughly pushed her into the ground and she began to cry
loudly calling for her daddy and before Louis could get up Harry was already
there with Logan in his arms comforting her while she clung to him desperately.
Louis took Harry's forgotten camera with him and quickly made his way to them
noticing how Harry was glaring at the kid and his mother who was scolding him.
Harry got up with her in his arms and she quickly wrapped her arms around his
neck and her legs around his waist to keep him from putting her down while he
towered over the mother who was trying to apologize.
 
"Is she okay?" Louis asked Harry.
 
"She scraped her elbow." Harry said.
 
"I'm really really sorry." The woman said looking at both Louis and Harry.
 
"It's okay, they're just kids." Louis said smiling a little then frowned when
Harry scoffed.
 
The woman walked away pulling her kid with her and Louis turned around to look
at Harry rocking Logan from side to side whispering things in her ear while she
hicupped.
 
"I saw what happened, is she okay?" A man no older than Harry and Louis asked
them as he grabbed Alex's small hand on his.
 
"She's okay uh..." Louis said.
 
"Oh sorry, I'm Brian Peterson. Your daughter and my son always play together
and that guy making his way over here is my husband David." Brian said shaking
hands with both Louis and Harry.
 
"I'm Louis Tomlinson." Louis smiled.
 
"And you are?" Brian asked Harry.
 
"Is my curly." Logan hicupped looking at Brian coming out from hiding her face
on Harry's neck.
 
"I'm Harry Styles." Harry smiled wiping Logan's tears away with his thumb.
 
"No...It's curly not 'arry." Logan insisted.
 
"Hello, you guys must be Logan's parents. I'm David." He said walking up to
them shaking hands with them.
 
"I'm assuming one of you had her, she looks so much like both of you." Brian
smiled picking Alex up.
 
"Yeah, uh I was the one who carried her." Louis said looking at Harry who
looked down.
 
"Really? I carried Alex, I'm glad I met you." David chuckled.
 
"Well, it was nice meeting you, we have to go." Brian said shifting Alex over
to his other hip.
 
"It was nice meeting you too." Harry smiled.
 
"Bye bye Alex." Logan smiled shifting over to look at her friend.
 
"Bye 'ogan." Alex waved as him and his parents walked away holding hands and
laughing while Harry watched them wishing he and Louis were like that.
 
"You should give her to me, we have to go." Louis said holding his arms out for
Logan.
 
"Already? When can I see her again?" Harry asked wincing a bit as Logan harshly
poked the tip of one of his swallow tattoos poking out of his shirt then slowly
removed her hand away from it when she started using her nails thinking it was
a sticker.
 
"I don't know...give me your cell phone and I'll text you my number." Louis
hesitated after Harry gave him his cell phone then texted himself as Harry made
silly faces to Logan.
 
"Do you think I could spend the day with her tomorrow? Just she and I." Harry
nervously asked hoping for a yes.
 
"Absolutely not. I don't trust you and I absolutely don't trust you alone with
her." Louis glared handing Harry his cell phone.
 
"Why not? I'm her dad too you know, I'm not gonna hurt her Louis. All I want is
to spend time with her and bond." Harry said.
 
"Look if you want to see her it has to be when I'm around where I can see her
and know she's okay. If I'm not around then you can't see her at all, that's a
rule you have to follow. Either take it or leave it." Louis snapped getting
tired of arguing with Harry.
 
"Okay then." Harry sighed then looked at Logan. "Dad has to go but I'll see you
later. Love you sweetheart." Harry said hugging her and releasing her when she
began squirming.
 
"Ready to go love?" Louis smiled taking her from Harry giving him his camera
back.
 
"Bye baby girl, I love you." Harry smiled sadly at having to separate himself
from her.
 
"Bye bye curly." Logan waved as Louis walked away with her in his arms while
Harry tried to ignore the pang in his chest at her not saying I love you back
and Louis wanting to stay as far away from him as possible.
 
Louis' heart was beating fast as he buckled her up in her car seat and once he
got on the drivers side he immediately drove away noticing Harry taking a
picture of a single white rose, Harry found out about her and now he wanted to
be a part of her life. Louis just wanted to take her and get out of London and
if possible even England just to escape him, put miles between them because he
didn't think he would be able to handle having Harry around and Logan getting
attached to him if she wasn't already and start calling him dad. He thought
about how good he was with her and how he was already protective over her just
like he himself was but that wasn't enough for him. Part of him wanted him to
know her but there was that other part that just wanted him to stay away from
her and he regretted telling him he could see her but what could he do if Harry
had threatened to ask for custody.
 
He abruptly remembered how Harry said he was scared of coming out and how he
was in love with him and a flash from that day in the woods popped into his
head. 'I love you Lou' he remembered Harry saying as he kissed him and Louis
had to make a quick stop surprised that he was already outside of his
building's parking lot. Turning around he noticed Logan fast asleep and he just
let it out, he cried remembering those three words and it hurt even more
knowing that if Harry truly was in love with him then that hadn't been enough
to stop him from hurting him the way he did. Why did he had to still be in love
with him was something Louis would never understand, he knew Harry had been
slightly drunk that night and that maybe he wasn't in control but he had done
it again after he sobered up a bit and that hurt even more. Picking Logan up
then locking his door he rushed to his flat where he set her down on her bed
covering her with a blanket and went straight to start dinner and as he did so
he wondered if Harry ate with friends or alone.
 
*~*
 
Harry got to his flat with a big smile on his face putting his camera and the
flowers up then calling his mum to share with her what had happened.
 
"Mum it's Harry." Harry happily said once she answered.
 
"Hi love, how are you?" Anne asked sensing the change in Harry's voice.
 
"Mum I met her! She's gorgeous and so tiny like Louis and oh god, I held her
and she hugged me back then gave me flowers she picked." Harry gushed beaming
with happiness.
 
"You met her? How did you find them, and he let you hold her just like that?"
Anne asked completely surprised.
 
"I was taking a walk in the park and I sat down on a bench and I guess she
tripped so I helped her up without knowing it was her and I was trying to find
her parents and there he was mum." Harry explained.
 
"And he let you hold her and talk to her just like that?" Anne carefully asked.
 
"Not at first but...but I told him I have rights mum. I didn't wanted to say it
but he kept refusing to let me see her and I basically told him I could ask for
custody, I was desperate." Harry breathed out waiting for her to say something.
 
"...And what did he say?" Anne asked.
 
"He agreed to let me see her but only when he's around." Harry sighed not
liking that part at all but understanding why Louis didn't trusted him with her
or him at all.
 
"That's great! Tell me, what is she like? When are we gonna meet her? I've been
dying to and so is Gemma." Anne spoke faster than ever before.
 
"She's beautiful mum and I think she's a perfect combination of Louis and I,
she's the sweetest little girl and I already love her so much. You have no idea
how much I love her mum, I wish I could have her and Louis here with me but I
know that's impossible." Harry sighed trying not to cry.
 
"I'm sorry honey, maybe if you show him that you really are sorry then with
time maybe he'll forgive you and actually want to start a family with you."
Anne tried to make him feel better.
 
"I doubt it mum, you should see the way he looks at me like he wants to burn me
alive. He hides it when Logan's around but when it was just him and I he just
looked at me with such hateful look, he absolutely hates me mum and I-I'm
absolutely fucked. He doesn't love me like I love him anymore." Harry finally
let the tears fall down his cheeks.
 
"You don't know that love. Think about how much he's still hurting, I don't
want to make you feel bad but what you did to him was horrible. Right now try
to get to know your daughter, get her to know you better and learn to recognize
you as her father." Anne adviced.
 
"I honestly don't know when I'll see her again mum, Louis gave me his number so
I'll try to talk to him tomorrow about letting me see her again." Harry said
walking towards the fridge to get something to eat.
 
"I hope he lets you see her soon so you can take a picture of her and send it
to me." Anne said.
 
"I hope so too. Mum I gotta go but I'll talk to you later. Love you." Harry
said.
 
"I love you too." Anne responded.
 
Harry hung up and noticing he had nothing go eat decided to just order pizza
and as he waited he smiled remembering Logan, he just wanted to get to know
everything there was to know about his baby girl. He wanted her to call her dad
and tell him she loves him back just like he thought she does to Louis, he
wanted to give her the moon and stars and play with her whatever game she
wanted. He wanted to read her a bed time story and tuck her into bed. He just
wanted to have both of them there with him cuddling and watching Logan's
favorite movies. He wanted it and maybe trying to get it the right way this
time would be hard but he would do anything.
Chapter End Notes
     I know this girl is older but she's the perfect Logan, don't you
     think?
      
      

     [ photo PicsArt_1386531363779_zps127be41c.jpg]
     Here's a direct link for the picture if you wanna see it better. :)
     http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/Mobile%20Uploads/
     PicsArt_1386531363779_zps127be41c.jpg 
     Thoughts? :)
***** The sun is shining everyday, but it's far away *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Louis was busy stirring the spaghetti sauce when he heard the doorbell and
immediately went to answer it knowing who it was or rather who they were. They
didn't even waited for Louis to tell them they could come in and headed for the
kitchen looking around for Logan.
 
"Where's my cupcake?" Zayn asked looking under the table where she had a habit
of sitting under and playing with her toys while Louis cooked dinner if he was
back from work by dinner time.
 
"She's asleep." Louis said going back to stirring.
 
"Is she sick? It's almost six thirty and she's never asleep around this time."
Eleanor said getting worried.
 
"She's completely healthy El, we went to the park earlier and it wore her out."
Louis explained not knowing if he should tell them about Harry, he would have
to at some point and he was afraid of what their reactions might be about his
decision of letting Harry see her.
 
"The park again? Wait...did she made you chase after her around the playground
'cause she did that to me." Niall said remembering that day with a pained
expression.
 
"Not really..." Louis shrugged stirring more than necessary.
 
"Lou, something's bothering you. What is it?" Zayn asked.
 
"I made enough spaghetti for all of us. Do you guys want to eat?" Louis asked
trying to stray them away from wanting to know what was bothering him.
 
"Sure Lou, now tell us what's bothering you or I'll tickle it out of you."
Niall said sitting down on a chair.
 
"You guys are not gonna like it because I don't. Not at all." Louis said
turning the stove off sitting down next to Niall with Zayn and Eleanor sitting
in front of them.
 
"Spit it out Tomlinson." Eleanor kicked his leg under the table making him yelp
and jump a little.
 
"HarryknowsaboutLogan." Louis said as fast as he could barely understanding
himself.
 
"Say what, could you repeat that? I didn't understood a single thing you said."
Zayn said crossing his arms over his chest expecting Louis to talk.
 
"Somehow...well I know how, Harry found out about Logan and he wants to see
her. He wants to be a part of her life and I...I agreed to let him see her."
Louis said looking down at his lap fiddling with his fingers.
 
"...What?" Eleanor shouted.
 
"What the fuck Louis, why would you do that? That ass hole did awful things to
you and you're gonna allow him near Logan, have you lost your mind?" Zayn
yelled glaring at Louis.
 
"Can you please explain Lou?" Niall who was still calm asked Louis.
 
"Apparently the guy who took me to the hospital-Andy Samuels, he's friends with
Liam Payne and he met Harry and somehow he ended up telling him about how he
helped me out. Today when I took Logan to the park he was there taking pictures
and she ran away from me when I told her not to and I lost her, when I found
her again he was holding her helping her look for me only he didn't know it was
me." Louis explained.
 
"And then?" Niall urged.
 
"I tried to get away from there but he said he knew she's his and I told him he
was wrong and then...He said a court wouldn't think like that. He basically
said he could get custody and I don't want that so I just agreed to let him see
her under my own terms of course." Louis finished explaining.
 
"Fucking ass hole son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill him!" Zayn shouted getting up
and heading for the door.
 
"Zayn stop! You don't even know where he lives." Niall tried to reason blocking
his way, speaking for Louis who was too stunned to talk.
 
"So you're gonna let him see her." Eleanor asked.
 
"El I have to." Louis sighed.
 
"You're gonna let him into her life and then yours again, fuck Lou he's only
going to hurt her and hurt you again." Zayn groaned rubbing both of his hands
on his face.
 
"No, absolutely not into my life and he's only going to see her when I want to
not when he does." Louis said ignoring Zayn's glares.
 
"I don't want him near my cupcake." Zayn insisted.
 
"And you think I do? Would you rather have him claim custody and then be forced
to let him take her all by herself for the weekends because I don't." Louis
argued.
 
"I guess not, when is he gonna see her again?" Zayn asked sitting back on the
chair.
 
"I have no idea when, I gave him my number and he wanted to spend the day with
just her tomorrow but I told him that if he wanted to see her then it had to be
when I was around." Louis explained.
 
"You never told us what happened yesterday. How did it go?" Niall asked.
 
"He tried to apologize but I just told him to go to hell and...turns out that
fucking ass hole is gay too." Louis exclaimed beginning to tear up.
 
"Turns out he's gay too, has been ever since school and he tortured me because
he blamed it on me." Louis cried.
 
"What? How the fuck was that your fault?" Zayn growled.
 
"He said I made him feel things for me and made him question his sexuality."
Louis said wiping away his tears.
 
"He was in love with you too." Eleanor blurted out.
 
"What, how would you know that?" Niall asked as she gulped when all eyes were
on her.
 
"Lou...I know you told me not to do anything before you left when you told me
he-he, I couldn't let him get away with it so I told him you were in love with
him and that you hated him after what he had done to you and he just started
crying again saying he had to talk to you. Lou he had been crying and I'm sorry
I didn't listened to you, I just wanted him to suffer." Eleanor said crying not
bothering to wipe away her tears.
 
"It's okay El, I already knew you told him because he told me." Louis said
reaching for her hand.
 
"So you're not mad?" Eleanor whispered.
 
"Not at all." Louis smiled.
 
"Dad-Unca Zayn!" Logan screamed running to Zayn's open arms.
 
"Hi cupcake, how are you?" Zayn asked catching her in his arms kissing her face
and discreetly checking her for injuries then looking at Louis expectantly when
he found the scrape on her elbow knowing it wasn't there the day before and
that Harry had been with them when it happened.
 
"Good. Hi unca Niall, hi auntie El." Logan waved resting her head on Zayn's
cheek.
 
"Hi baby." El smiled.
 
"Monster what happened to your elbow?" Niall asked pointing at her elbow.
 
"Big kid pushed me down." She said.
 
"Why did he pushed you cupcake, did it hurt?" Zayn asked.
 
"Mhm and I don't know why." Logan said tearing up holding her elbow in her hand
away from Zayn's hand.
 
"But you're okay now." Louis smiled trying to keep her from crying when she
began pouting.
 
"My curly kiss it okay." Logan giggled.
 
"Curly? Who's curly?" Eleanor asked already knowing who but wanting to hear it
from her.
 
"Daddy no name." She responded referring to the missing father figure Louis had
told her about and she was always curious about.
 
"He told you he was daddy no name?" Niall asked her.
 
"Who?" Logan asked getting distracted with Zayn's pretty pictures on his skin.
 
"My curly." Niall urged her to answer.
 
"No, it's my curly not yours." Logan pouted furrowing her eyebrows together.
 
"Your curly, did your curly told you he was daddy no name?" Zayn asked.
 
"Mhm. Down...please." Logan quickly added after Louis gave her a look then ran
to her stash of toys in the corner of the living room after Zayn set her down.
 
"You let him tell her he's her other dad?" Eleanor asked.
 
"That was before I agreed to him seeing her, I only agreed for him to hug her
but he told her." Louis defended himself.
 
"How did she reacted?" Niall asked.
 
"She was scared at first but then she got used to him, I think she likes him
since she even have him a few flowers she picked." Louis said getting some
plates out.
 
"Fuck...she definitely likes him then." Zayn sighed.
 
"Yeah...but I need to do something before she gets way too attached to him."
Louis mumbled putting food in the plates.
 
A few hours later Louis was getting ready to go to bed after he had given Logan
a bath then put her to bed and he had gotten a shower himself, he groaned
trying to think of ways to get Harry off his back and keep him away from his
daughter. He grabbed his phone and searched for his name just staring at his
number and name then bitterly laughed thinking how if he had gotten Harry's
number back then he would've been squealing like a girl rolling around on his
bed thinking of many sweet scenarios where Harry would declare his love for him
then kiss him under the moonlight in a field full of flowers but what did he
got instead, Harry saying I love you for the very fist time while he was
hurting him and he couldn't do anything to stop him. He hadn't been strong
enough to stop it and sometimes Louis blamed himself for what Harry had done to
him. He was startled when his phone began vibrating and he started breathing
hard thinking it was Harry but quickly relaxed once he saw it was just Eleanor.
 
"Hello?" Louis quickly answered.
 
"Loueh, sorry to call you at this time but I just wanted to know and make sure
you're okay." Eleanor nervously spoke.
 
"Hi El, I'm doing fine don't worry." Louis smiled even if she couldn't see it.
 
"Has he-has he called you yet?"
 
"Umm no, not yet and I honestly don't want him to. Why can't he just be a
selfish bastard like he used to and give a damn about my daughter, I don't want
him to care." Louis ranted.
 
"I guess he changed Lou, but tell me what was he like with her." She asked.
 
"I don't even know El, he looks at her like she's a rare gem...like she's the
only thing that matters to him. When that older kid pushed her down you
should've seen him, he got there pretty fast, was protective over her and he
just kept glaring at the kid's mum." Louis explained laying down on the bed.
 
"And how do you feel about that?"
 
"I...I'm confused. Part of me hates it, I hate how comfortable she's with him
and how possessive she's getting over him. You know how she can get and it
makes me feel jealous." Louis said pouting a bit.
 
"You mean that time when she became quite possessive over you when you were
seeing that douche bag whose name I can't even remember but kept asking who
Logan's other father was?" Eleanor shuddered at the memory.
 
"Yeah and now I feel like she's replacing me with him when he doesn't deserve
her and I want him out of her life, and I feel like such a fuck up because I
keep thinking that maybe it's good for her to have him around and he's really
good with her. I still don't trust him at all to leave her alone with him
because I'm scared he's gonna hurt her." Louis said.
 
"Well...all I can tell you is to really think this through, do what's best for
Logan." Eleanor adviced him.
 
"You know I only do what's best for her." Louis sighed.
 
"I know Lou, but hey...at least you won't have to pay for yearly professional
pictures of Logan if you let him stay in her life." Eleanor giggled.
 
"Really?" Louis asked wondering if she was sane at all.
 
"What? Think about it Lou, you have this obsession of taking pictures of Logan
every year around her birthday not caring how much they cost. I bet Harry would
do it for free and just think how gorgeous my baby would look plus he has to
since she's his child and he has responsibilities with her, he just can't say
no." Eleanor babbled imagining the high quality pictures of Logan taken by none
other than the best photographer out there.
 
"Not happening El." Louis argued with her like they always did when she wanted
him to let her do something with Logan that involved girly stuff.
 
"We'll see Tomlinson, we'll see." Eleanor argued back determined to get her
way.
 
"Whatever. El, I gotta go. I'm really tired, love you." Louis said.
 
"Love you too, bye." She said then hung up.
 
The next day Louis was woken up by his phone vibrating loudly on the nightstand
next to him (having a child had its perks) he groaned as he blindingly
stretched his hand out to find it. He saw it was only eight thirty in the
morning then sat up as fast as he could when he saw it was Harry who was
calling him and cleared his throat before answering.
 
"Hello?" Louis groggily said wincing at how raspy his voice sounded.
 
"Morning Louis, did I woke you up?" Harry cheerfully asked.
 
"Kinda yeah." Louis mumbled closing his eyes again.
 
"Sorry...um, I was wondering if you and Logan wanted to go out and have
breakfast with me?" Harry nervously asked.
 
"Oh, umm...Yeah sure why not." Louis said regretting it immediately.
 
"Okay cool, do you want me to pick you up? I know this restaurant where the
food is amazing, I can just go and pick you guys up so we don't have to take
two cars...parking is a bitch-I mean a mess." Harry quickly corrected himself.
 
"Okay...I'll text you my address and Harry please don't make me regret it."
Louis said getting up to shower.
 
"I won't Louis, I'll see you there in a few." Harry said.
 
"Okay then, bye."
 
"Bye."
 
Louis quickly texted him his address hesitating just a bit before pressing send
then quickly took a shower and got ready, just as he was about to wake Logan up
he heard the doorbell and gulping he went to answer it. Harry was standing in
front of him with a small shy smile wearing a dark beanie, his hair pulled back
with a few curls escaping on the sides.
 
"Hey, you guys ready?" Harry asked.
 
"Logan's a heavy sleeper and I'm having trouble waking her up. Niall gave her
too much sugar last night and she was literally bouncing off the walls, come in
and take a seat while I wake her up." Louis stepped aside to let Harry through.
 
"I'll wait." Harry simply smiled looking around taking a seat watching Louis
walk towards the bedrooms.
 
"Sweety wake up, we're gonna go out for breakfast." Louis rubbed Logan's belly
and poked her cheeks.
 
"Nooo..." Logan mumbled turning around and away from Louis.
 
"Logan Hunter Tomlinson! C'mon, time to get up." Louis lifted her up then
sighed and began dressing her up when she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon.
 
He quickly dressed her up into a long sleeved pink shirt and black pants
putting her shoes on fixing her curls leaving them down then putting a beanie
on. He then took her to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face with
skill since it wasn't the first time he had done it. After he was done he
walked back to the living room noticing how Harry's eyes immediately brightened
when he saw her then looked at Louis and back at her unsure of what to do next.
Logan slowly lifted her head up from Louis' shoulder and sleepily looked around
whimpering when her eyes landed on Harry setting her head back on his shoulder.
 
"She doesn't like me much does she?" Harry sadly asked making Louis feel bad
for him but quickly recovered.
 
"She likes everybody and she's like that in the mornings, she's grumpy because
I woke her up an-hold on I forgot an extra pair of clothes. Here, hold her
while I go get them." Louis said passing Logan over to Harry without giving him
time to answer.
 
Logan looked up at Harry then nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck
snuggling closer to him as harry wrapped his other arm around her and rubbed
her back as she fell back asleep comfortable in his arms, Louis came back with
clothes putting them in a bag and reached his hands out for her.
 
"Can I carry her? You still have to lock your door and get her car seat from
your car." Harry pleaded.
 
"Fine." Louis finally said after thinking it through then put coat on doing the
same to Logan.
 
After getting Logan's car seat and buckling her up Louis finally got in the
passengers seat and Harry made his way out of the complex driving in a complete
awkward silence.
 
"So why don't you tell me a bit about her." Harry said breaking the silence
that was starting to drive him crazy.
 
"Like what?" Louis asked.
 
"I don't know, like what's her favorite color, tv show, movie, is she allergic
to something, is she going to school this upcoming year. I wanna know
everything." Harry said smiling at Louis.
 
"She likes spaghetti, her favorite show is The Amazing World of Gumball and her
favorite movies are Toy Story, all three of them. She's not allergic to
anything and since it's still january and her birthday is in february she has
to wait another year for school." Louis gushed finding out that he couldn't
stop the words after they started rushing out.
 
"I love spaghetti too and Liam's gonna love her once he finds out her favorites
movies are Toy Story. We're here." Harry said quickly finding a parking spot
and shutting down the engine.
 
"Daddy, where you?" Logan asked from the backseat not recognizing the car.
 
"I'm right here love." Louis quickly said getting out of the car getting her
out placing her on his hip.
 
"My curly!" She screamed making Louis wince with the noise and Harry smiled
getting close to both Logan and Louis to give her a kiss noticing the way Louis
tensed up at having him too close to him.
 
"Why are you here?" She asked tugging on his curls.
 
"We're having breakfast together." Harry answered leading them towards the
entrance of the crowded restaurant.
 
Once they were seated in a booth with Logan in between them Louis ordered
pancakes for both Logan and himself while Harry ordered the same then
completely focused his attention on her completely ignoring Louis as he made
Logan giggled uncontrollably. Once the food arrived Louis quickly cut up her
pancakes then added syrup knowing that if Logan did it herself then she would
empty out the bottle and soak her pancakes in its contents.
 
"Daddy I wants more syrup." Logan whined looking up at Louis pouting her bottom
lip.
 
"That's enough syrup." Louis pointed at her pancakes.
 
"But I wants more." Logan whined pouting her bottom lip even more reaching for
the bottle but Louis quickly got it away from her reach.
 
"Louis I don't think a little bit more syrup is going to kill her." Harry said
lifting the bottle to put more.
 
"You don't get to decide that, she's my daughter and I said no more syrup."
Louis snapped glaring at harry.
 
"Daddy I wants more!" Logan screeched then began crying and kicking the table
with her legs.
 
"Well she's my daughter too and she wants more, you made her cry." Harry said
in an accusatory tone.
 
"Well you're a shit parent, can't even tell she's throwing a tantrum to get
what she wants." Louis glared then watched as Harry's eyes began shinning.
 
"Hey bug you should listen to daddy, that's enough syrup. You don't wanna get
cavities now do you?" Harry said poking her stomach trying not to cry.
 
"What are cavi-cavi?" Logan tried to say.
 
"Cavities. They're small holes in your teeth." Harry explained making a silly
face while Logan giggled again.
 
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, stay here and don't go anywhere Harry." Louis
said quickly getting up from his seat to clean the syrup stain Logan had given
him.
 
"Hey bug, smile for dad." Harry said taking a picture of her with his cellphone
once Louis was gone.
 
"Do I look pretty my curly?" Logan asked craning her neck to try and look at
it.
 
"Gorgeous." Harry smiled showing her the picture sending it to Gemma who had
harassed him for one and his mum then kissed Logan's cheek. His phone vibrated
and he answered it without seeing who it was.
 
"Hello?"
 
"Baby she's gorgeous. Is she eating pancakes?" Anne said through the phone.
 
"Oh my God Haz! I wanna meet her now, and no way she looks like you. She's
actually gorgeous and you're, well you're you." Gemma yelled and Harry guessed
he was on speaker.
 
"Hi mum, hi brainless. I took them out for breakfast, very funny Gems. I don't
know when you'll be able to meet her since I can barely see her myself." Harry
said turning his attention back to Logan who was eating her pancakes.
 
"I'll let you go then honey, spend as much time as you can with them and my God
I already love her. Love you love." Anne said.
 
"Love you too mum." Harry said then heard a shuffling sound then Gemma was
speaking to him.
 
"He'll come around H, it might take a while but he will and then he'll let you
see her more often. Give Logan a big kiss for me please, I love you."
 
"I love you too Gems." Harry smiled then hung up.
 
Harry looked at Logan who was busy eating her pancakes and tried not to think
too much about what Louis had said, he knew he was a shit parent but what could
he do if he hadn't been around her for that long and quickly wiped away the few
tears that had escaped when he saw Louis coming.
 
"You done love?" Louis asked her noticing Harry's almost full plate.
 
"No." She simply answered, both Harry and Louis stayed silent eating their food
not even acknowledging each other.
 
"Harry, Harry Styles? It is you." A tall man with dark quiffed hair said
looking at Harry with a big smile.
 
"Nick? Hey, how have you been?" Harry asked, his whole face instantly
brightening like a kid's on a Christmas morning making Louis clench his jaw
with jealousy.
 
"Good, I just moved here from Manchester a few days ago." Nick smiled.
 
"That's great!"
 
"I see you have company." Nick said as his eyes flickered to Louis and Logan
and Louis couldn't help but notice his bitchy tone that Harry was completely
oblivious to.
 
"Yeah, this is Louis and this cutie right here is our daughter Logan." Harry
introduced them with a big smile.
 
"Nice to meet you, I'm Nick. Harry's friend from Uni. Harry I didn't know you
had a daughter." Nick said and Louis decided he disliked this guy.
 
"I didn't either until yesterday." Harry said kissing the top of Logan's head
lovingly.
 
"I see, well no doubt there she's yours since she's like a mini copy of you."
Nick faked smiled.
 
"We wouldn't be here spending time together with our daughter if she wasn't
his. Trust me, Harry's her biological father." Louis snapped smiling sweetly
and couldn't miss the small smile Harry sent his way.
 
"Nick I'm sorry but we have to go." Harry said leaving money with the check
picking Logan up.
 
"Oh okay then...I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch or a drink
one of these days?" Nick nervously asked rubbing the back of his neck.
 
"Yeah sure, do you still have your old number?" Harry asked a little too
excited.
 
"Yeah." Nick smiled in relief.
 
"Okay. Then I'll text you later, it was nice seeing you again Nick. Bye." Harry
said hugging him quickly.
 
"Mine." Logan glared at Nick grabbing Harry's cheeks to bring his head closer
to hers.
 
"Oh, we have a possessive one over here, Harry she's gorgeous." Nick winked at
Logan.
 
"Harry we need to go." Louis interrupted wanting Nick away from Logan...and
harry, but he wasn't going to admit that.
 
"Yeah, bye Nick." Harry smiled.
 
"Bye Harry, it was nice meeting you Louis." Nick smiled and then walked away.
 
Once they were outside of the restaurant Louis quickly walked towards the car
and waited until Harry got there since he kept slowly walking entertained with
Logan and Louis just wanted to get the hell out of there. In the car Logan kept
screaming 'I spy' and then waited for Harry's turn to say it so she could
scream it again after him and soon they were in front of Louis' flat. Louis got
out and unbuckled Logan grabbing her along with her car seat while Logan
watched Harry with wide eyes once she was in Louis' arms walking away from
Harry after Louis had thanked him.
 
"Daddy I wants to play with my curly." Logan said trying to get down.
 
"It's want not wants baby and he has to go love." Louis said trying to keep her
from getting down.
 
"Curly..." She whimpered and Louis groaned.
 
"Harry...would you like to come in." Louis asked putting Logan down.
 
"Yeah 'arry, come in." Logan waved him over wiggling her eyebrows.
 
"I would love to." Harry smiled shutting the engine down getting out of his car
locking it and walked towards them and Logan immediately reached for his hand
then Louis' hand.
 
***
 
"Do you want something to drink?" Louis asked as soon as they were inside his
flat.
 
"No I'm okay but thanks for asking." Harry smiled that charming smile he always
gave to everybody but him back in school.
 
"C'mon curly." Logan cheered pulling Harry to her room by his fingers.
 
"I'm coming." Harry laughed following her.
 
"Daddy I wants-I want you to play too." Logan yelled from her room.
 
As soon as Louis walked into Logan's room he began laughing uncontrollably when
he saw Harry sitting on one of Logan's tiny chairs with his legs sticking out
from the sides like a grasshopper and wearing a tiara where his beanie had once
been. Harry laughed too when Logan made Louis sit on a chair in front of Harry
and gave him his own tiara to wear then she began talking in a posh accent like
Eleanor and Louis' sisters had taught her while she served the tea with Harry
actually playing along. Louis observed how he was around her, how good he was
always making her laugh and began to regret calling him a shit parent when he
was none of that. The once selfish bastard Harry Styles was actually the
sweetest person and parent to Logan but that didn't change a thing about what
he had done to him and how Louis felt about it.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1386814967047_zps9c0d8777.jpg]
      
      
     Direct link to pic:
     http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     PicsArt_1386814967047_zps9c0d8777.jpg
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** I want to rip it all to shreds and start again *****
Chapter Notes
     I almost killed Lynxh while typing this. Sorry Lynxh! :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Harry observed his daughter as she soundly slept after playing all morning with
her then gave her one last kiss on the forehead and fixed her blanket making
sure she was okay before walking out of her room closing the door after him
going to the living room where Louis was sitting down on the sofa drinking tea.
He looked around the living room and noticed a lot of pictures of his daughter
then four bigger ones that caught his attention making his chest hurt knowing
he had missed all three years of her life, they were arranged on the wall
showing Logan from birth to three years old based on the date in the bottom
right corner of each one which was her birth date. He was about to ask about
them when Louis decided to speak killing the silence between them.
 
"You want tea?" Louis asked watching Harry carefully.
 
"No thanks. I like those four pictures." Harry said pointing at the pictures
then looking at Louis.
 
"Oh, thanks I guess. I-"
 
"Louis open the door, I know he's in there!" Zayn yelled from outside.
 
"Stay here." Louis said putting his cup of tea on the table getting up to
answer the door.
 
"I'm not gonna open it until you calm down, Logan's asleep and you're gonna
scare her." Louis said through the door.
 
"El and I are here too Lou, open the door." Niall's calm voice came through the
door.
 
As soon as he opened the door Zayn stumbled in pushing Louis out of the way and
headed towards the living room where Harry was standing waiting for him. If he
wanted to be in Logan's life then he was going to have to face all three of
them especially Zayn who sounded livid. He was still standing on the same spot
when Zayn came in with hands balled into fists and a red angry face.
 
"You! What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" Zayn growled trying to
control his temper and beat Harry to death for Logan's sake.
 
"I just wanted to spend time with my daughter." Harry answered.
 
"Your daughter, your daughter! Oh please don't make me laugh, you are not her
father and never will. You don't deserve someone as innocent and pure as her."
Zayn glared.
 
"I know what I did was horrible but-"
 
"Horrible? It was fucking disgusting and you have no right to come back into
Louis' life after what you did to him." Zayn spat interrupting Harry taking a
step closer to him.
 
"Zee, you need to calm down." Niall said from his spot next to Louis who was
looking down at the ground.
 
"No! This ass hole son of a bitch thinks he can just show up and claim a
daughter that isn't his." Zayn argued unable to tear his gaze away from Harry.
 
"I know I don't deserve her but she's my daughter too, I can't just forget
about her." Harry pleaded looking at Niall's calm expression, Eleanor's neutral
one and Louis who still had his head down.
 
"If she's your daughter then where the hell were you when he was pregnant with
her and needed help, where were you when he almost gave birth to her out in the
cold streets. You weren't there to help him through all those sleepless nights,
we were! And you definitely weren't there when he struggled with not having
enough money to pay for diapers or formula, he couldn't even get nice things
for himself because all the money he made went straight to her so she wouldn't
starve, have nice clothes and stay warm. You were only there to ruin his life
and now you want to do it again. I swear if you hurt my cupcake or him I will
kill you." Zayn threatened.
 
Harry was having trouble breathing as Zayn's words kept hitting him hard like a
ton of bricks, "I would've been there for him if I had known he was pregnant."
He said.
 
****
 
Louis remembered all those sleepless nights where he would have to wake up in
the middle of the night to feed or change Logan's diaper. He remembered a
particular night at three in the morning where he had to be up and ready for
school then work in four hours but he had to feed a two month old Logan who
wouldn't stop crying until she had food in her mouth, he was dozing off with
her still in his arms when Zayn walked in wearing a tiny smile.
 
"Go to sleep LouLou. I'll feed her and don't worry about her tomorrow, I'm
gonna be here all day and I'll take care of her. I'm gonna take her with me and
Niall so you can sleep." Zayn smiled taking her from Louis' arms and watched as
he immediately got under the covers and fell asleep.
 
"Thank you Zayn." Louis mumbled before sleep completely overtook him.
 
Zayn watched him smiling fondly then took her, rolling her bassinet back to his
room grabbing a few diapers and baby wipes on the way there dumping them in the
bassinet, they had gotten a bassinet with wheels for nights like those.
 
"C'mon cupcake, you're sleeping with uncle Niall and I so daddy can sleep."
Zayn smiled then reached down to kiss her forehead earning a tiny squeak from
her.
 
****
 
"Stop." Louis nearly yelled as he glared at both Zayn and Harry with teary
eyes.
 
"Louis..." Eleanor started.
 
"El please go check on Logan." Louis mumbled and Eleanor nodded walking towards
her room.
 
"You both need to shut the fuck up, there's a three year old asleep in the
other room." Louis glared.
 
"I'm sorry Lou." Zayn apologized.
 
"It's alright Zee. Now both of you just sit down and have some tea." Louis said
taking his old spot.
 
"She's still asleep." Eleanor announced coming back from her room.
 
"Good." Niall sighed.
 
"I should go." Harry awkwardly said.
 
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna beat the shit out of you...yet." Zayn glared.
 
"So Harry...long time no see, how have you been?" Eleanor asked trying to
lighten up the mood.
 
"I've been okay..." Harry mumbled feeling uncomfortable under Zayn's death
glares.
 
"Best known photographer out there, didn't see that one coming." Niall scooted
closer to Louis who was nervously drinking his now cold tea.
 
"Yeah it's just something I've always wanted to do." Harry fiddled with his
hands.
 
"Well Louis here used to want to paint and have his own gallery but he hasn't
picked up a brush since the last day of school." Zayn commented trying to get a
reaction out of Harry.
 
Harry suddenly realized what Zayn meant and he felt bile rise up his throat
when he remembered how after school he had been coming back from the football
field after drinking with the team and had spotted Louis coming out of the art
room with his clothes splattered with paint of different colors as he looked
around probably looking for him and he noticed how he had relaxed when he saw
no one was around and had started walking home. He remembered being completely
fascinated and hypnotized by the way Louis' hips swayed from side to side,
without thinking he had started walking towards him and not knowing how to be
gentle with him and how to approach him he did it the only way he knew how to
and had slammed him against the lockers.
 
He remembered how he had chased him all the way to the woods while yelling
insult after insult at him, throwing him down on the ground, taking his clothes
off and stealing something he thought belonged to him back then and now he knew
it never did. He wanted to cry when he remembered doing it again in Louis' old
bedroom and how that time he had finally broken him to no repair, he blinked
away the tears feeling his phone vibrating and took it out reading a text from
Nick asking him if he wanted to get a drink with him which he quickly replied
with a sure.
 
"I gotta go." Harry mumbled getting up from his spot on the sofa next to a
chocolate stain that he was sure Logan had left there.
 
"But we just got here." Eleanor pouted then smiled innocently at Louis who
glared at her.
 
"I gotta go meet an old friend. Louis could I go see her one more time,
please?" Harry shyly asked putting his beanie on and smiled when Louis nodded.
 
"Are you meeting Liam? Niall and I used to talk to him back in school." Zayn
said showing no emotion.
 
"Oh no, I'm not meeting with Liam...It's a friend from Manchester. Nick
Grimshaw." Harry said smiling bigger when he said his name and Louis couldn't
help but feel anger and jealousy cursing through his veins but quickly snapped
out of it feeling confused.
 
Harry slowly walked towards Logan's room and knelt down by her bed looking at
her with a smile on his face, he leaned in and gave her a kiss then got up
leaving her room with one last lovingly look at her.
 
"Thanks. I'm gonna go now and thank you again for letting me see her." Harry
said.
 
"Yeah no problem." Louis fiddled with the cup then heard her little feet on the
wood floor.
 
"Curly?" Logan mumbled coming into the room with her teddy bear in her arms,
eyes swollen with sleep and hair a crazy mess looking up at Harry with wide
eyes then suspiciously eyeing his hand on the door knob.
 
"Hey bug, I have to go but I'll come see you again okay. Dad loves you." Harry
smiled kneeling down in front of her wrapping his arms around her.
 
"Hey love, wanna go play with your uncles?" Louis asked sensing what was coming
when she pouted her lip and frowned at Harry.
 
"Nooo.." Logan cried throwing her bear at Harry then clung to him wrapping her
arms around his neck in a tight lock as Harry looked back at Louis with wide
eyes.
 
"Bug it's okay, they want to play with you." Harry told her as his voice
cracked a little as it hurt him to see her crying like that.
 
"No, I want to play with you." Logan wailed wiping the tears and snot on
Harry's shoulder leaving a stain behind.
 
"Baby he has to go." Louis got up from the sofa and walked over to her and
tried to pick her up but she only held on to Harry's neck tighter.
 
It broke Harry's heart as he tried to unwrap her arms off of his neck, he got
up with her in his arms and she stopped crying as soon as he did so but then
cried louder when Louis tried taking her and Harry was willingly giving her to
him. Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor watched with wide eyes at the scene unfolding in
front of them and they knew she was already too attached to Harry as he was to
her since he looked like he wanted to cry himself too. As soon as Louis had her
in his arms he mouthed a 'go' to Harry and once Harry took a step back Logan
threw herself forward and latched on to Harry's shirt with one hand and grabbed
Louis by the shirt with her other tiny hand to keep both of them from walking
away from her.
 
"Don't leave me curly. Daddy he's leaving you." Logan sobbed as big fat tears
rolled down her cheeks breaking Harry's heart.
 
"If you allow it I can stay and text Nick to meet me later." Harry suggested
looking at Louis desperately.
 
"You don't mind?" Louis asked.
 
"Not at all." Harry said taking Logan in his arms as soon as Louis nodded.
 
Logan's sobs reduced to whimpers as soon as she was in Harry's arms then
wrapped her arms and legs around Harry hiding her face in the crook of his
neck, Harry walked back into the living room and sat down with Logan on his lap
getting his phone out and texting Nick if he could meet him later to which Nick
replied with a no problem and to text him when he was free while Logan looked
at the screen. He put his phone away then wrapped his arms around her kissing
the top of her head then began fixing her messy curls with skillful hands since
he had become an expert when trying to fix his own hair and managed to put it
back in its place without pulling too much or making her cry, he looked up and
immediately looked down when he saw four pairs of eyes watching him.
 
"How did you do that?" Eleanor asked.
 
"Do what?" Harry asked as Logan stared at him with heart eyes.
 
"Fix her hair without making her scream too much, when any of us expect El does
it she always screams." Zayn asked.
 
"Oh, I guess that when you have curly hair you learn how to keep it in place
without pulling it too much." Harry tapped Logan's nose as she giggled tapping
his nose back with her free hand, the other hand still holding onto his shirt.
 
"Love c'mon, let's go wash your face." Louis reached for her but she only
grabbed fistfulls of Harry's shirt.
 
"No daddy, he'll leave us." Logan whimpered pouting at Louis.
 
"Logan he won't, he'll be sitting there when you comeback." Louis frowned.
 
"No!" Logan yelled furrowing her eyebrows.
 
"Hey bug don't yell at daddy." Harry looked at Logan with a serious expression
then looked up at Louis.
 
"Maybe I could take her?" He asked playing with Logan's curls as she pulled
his.
 
"S-sure, yeah. Bathroom's next to her room." Louis stuttered sitting back down
in between Zayn and Niall.
 
"I can't do this anymore, he needs to get out of her life." Louis frowned as
soon as Harry was out of the room.
 
"Umm, Louis please don't get mad but it's a little too late for that." Eleanor
reached to pull the hair out of Louis' forehead.
 
"I know, that's why he needs to leave." Louis crossed his arms over his chest.
 
"I really don't like Harry and I want him out of her life too but just remember
how she got when he was going to leave, now think how heart broken she's going
to be if he just disappears and never comes back. She's so in love with him."
Zayn said wrapping his arm around Louis.
 
"I just-" Louis stopped when he heard Logan's sharp scream come from the
bathroom and he was about to get up when soon after she broke into a laughing
fit followed by Harry's own laugh.
 
"Just listen to how much he makes her laugh." Niall said.
 
"I know but I'm scared that one of these days he'll snap and hurt her like he
used to do with me." Louis shuddered at the memories.
 
"You don't know that Lou, he looks like he changed and I don't think he'll hurt
his own flesh and blood. You both need to have a long talk about how you're
going to do this, it's obvious that you both need it." Niall adviced.
 
"I guess so." Louis mumbled.
 
"Curly up!" Logan demanded extending her hands up for Harry to pick her up as
they were coming back from the bathroom.
 
"C'mon bug you're a big girl, I know you can walk." Harry smiled standing in
front of her.
 
"No...I'm just a little girl, I can't walk curly." Logan sighed hugging Harry's
legs then slid down to the floor to make her point.
 
"Alright, alright." Harry picked her up and walked back to the living room
sitting on his old spot.
 
"Well, Zayn and I are gonna go, I'll see you later monster I love you. Harry.
Lou, El, we'll see you later." Niall smiled and Logan got up to hug his legs
then he bent down to kiss her cheek which she returned eagerly.
 
"I love you lots cupcake." Zayn said kissing her forehead and Harry smiled when
she kissed his forehead too.
 
"I love you lots too unca Zayn, love you unca Niall." Logan smiled.
 
Zayn and Niall left shortly after but not before Niall gave Louis a knowing
look telling him he had to talk to him. Eleanor sensing why Niall had left
decided to leave a few minutes later leaving them alone in an awkward silence,
Louis slowly grabbed the remote and turned on the tv noticing it was already
three in the afternoon meaning the marathon of Logan's favorite show had just
started. She made herself comfortable on Harry's lap grabbing Mr. Curls that
Eleanor had picked up for her after she threw it at Harry and sat it down on
her lap just like she was on Harry's hugging it close to his chest.
 
"Daddy I'm hungry." Logan announced taking her eyes off of the tv to look at
Louis.
 
"We have spaghetti, do you want that?" Louis asked avoiding looking at Harry
who no doubt was staring at him.
 
"No, I want a banana, apple and strawberry."
 
"Hunter that's not food that's fruit, you need food first." Louis sighed.
 
"But my tummy is hungry for fruit, daddy please." Logan pleaded.
 
"I'll be right back." Louis mumbled getting up from his seat.
 
He found frozen bananas that had already being sliced the day before then
carefully cut up the apple and strawberries into cubes easy for Logan to eat,
he sighed when he remembered he hadn't offered anything to Harry and he was
probably hungry since he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast so he just
warmed up enough spaghetti for two people.
 
"Love your fruit's on the table and Harry I warmed up some spaghetti for you,
figured you must be hungry." Louis said walking back into the room seeing them
busy each coloring a page from a brand new coloring book she made Harry write
his name on then saw the one that had Louis' name next to her on the table.
 
"Huh? Oh, thank you. C'mon bug lets eat." Harry picked her up then set her down
and started walking towards the kitchen holding hands with her.
 
Once they were in the kitchen Harry found Louis had set the table for the three
of them then awkwardly sat down, Logan eyed her plate then empty chair and
slowly moved her plate over by Harry's and began trying to climb on his lap
with difficulty. Louis watched them interact and the way Logan had made it
clear that she wanted to sit on his lap and Harry who was already gone for her
gently picked her up kissing the top of her head and began eating while Louis
slowly chewed his food. He realized how in sync they did every thing together
and if Logan moved to make herself more comfortable Harry would too move to
meet her needs, they were already so attached and the already formed bond they
had built was something he couldn't and would never break. He was still
watching them when Logan who had decided to not use her fork suddenly wiped her
hand on Harry's shirt, Louis gasped knowing what was coming since he had
experienced it before quickly got up to snatch her away from Harry but he only
smiled fondly then it disappeared when he saw the state Louis was in. They
looked at each other for a few seconds then Louis slowly sat back down acting
as if nothing had happened.
 
"I would never hit her Louis." Harry mumbled refusing to look at Louis ashamed
of his past actions.
 
"You did it to me once and that was your fault for pushing me down then picking
me up again." Louis mumbled remembering the time Harry had pushed him down
making him land on mud then picked him up again making Louis accidentally stain
his shirt, he had payed a high price for that mistake.
 
"I'm sorry." Harry mumbled.
 
"Too late." Louis snapped putting an end to that conversation.
 
"This fucking bananas make me cold, I'm freezing." Logan muttered frowning and
pushing them away as Harry and Louis looked at her with wide eyes.
 
"Logan Hunter Tomlinson, what kind of language is that?" Louis scolded her
embarrassed that she had used that word.
 
"This fucking shit makes me cold daddy." Logan shrugged it off.
 
"You do not use those words young lady, where did you hear them from?" Louis
asked and watched as she backed away into Harry.
 
"Unca Niall said them to unca Zayn and auntie El was mean and hit him." Logan
explained trying to hide her face on Harry's chest.
 
"Niall..." Louis groaned rubbing his hands on his face.
 
"Daddy I'm a good girl." Logan whimpered.
 
"Yes you are love but good girls like you shouldn't say those words, daddy
doesn't like that. Promise me you won't say them again." Louis slowly and
carefully explained to her.
 
"I promise daddy." Logan promised going back to eating her fruit as Louis
thought of a thousand ways to kill Niall.
 
Harry ended up staying all day long until it was Logan's bath and bed time and
as soon as she was out exhausted after playing all day and climbing all over
Harry and Louis Harry was getting ready to leave but Louis had other plans. He
needed to talk to Harry about Logan and how they were going to do things if
Harry wanted to keep seeing her so taking a deep breath he walked towards the
living room where Harry was.
 
"Harry we need to talk." Louis said sitting down on the couch followed by Harry
who sat across from him.
 
"About what?" Harry nervously asked.
 
"About Logan, a schedule of your visits. I think weekends are the only days I
have free so you can see her, and you can only see her when I'm around. No one
else but me." Louis explained beginning to feel afraid of Harry's
expressionless face.
 
"Why can't I see her every day, what's wrong with seeing her everyday of the
week?" He desperately asked.
 
"I have to work and I'm pretty sure you do too." Louis sighed getting annoyed
at Harry.
 
"I don't work every day Louis and she could go over to my flat and stay with me
while you're working." Harry pleaded.
 
"What part of I don't want her alone with you don't you understand. I don't
trust you alone with her Harry." Louis argued trying not to yell.
 
"And what part of I would never hurt her don't you understand either. She's our
daughter and I love her, I would never hurt her or put her in any kind of
danger." Harry argued back as Louis rolled his eyes.
 
"I don't believe you at all, not after the way you treated me and what you did
to me." Louis said trying not to cry, there was no way he was going to let
Harry see him cry again.
 
"I'm sorry, I really am sorry for what I did to you. Not a day goes by where I
don't think about it and I wIsh I could go back and change it all, treat you
differently and come clean about how I feel about you but I can't and I'm
sorry, I wish I could take it all away but I can't." Harry knelt down in front
of Louis with tears in his eyes as Louis moved away from his reach.
 
"Apology not accepted, I will never forgive you. You beat me, you made fun of
me, you made me feel like shit and worthless. I believed every single word you
said to me but because I was so stupid I thought it was okay for you to do that
to me. I stopped Zayn from beating the shit out of you so many times because I
loved you and then you did that to me. You ruined my life and I hate you, I
hate what you did to me." Louis cried finally letting the tears fall as Harry
did the same.
 
"Louis..." Harry cried touching his leg.
 
"Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me ever again you sick bastard, because of
you I can't move on and find someone else. Don't touch me!" Louis screamed
hitting Harry everywhere he could just like he did the second time Harry had
attacked him.
 
He cried and hit him harder when Harry just sat there taking every single blow
then fear began to take over when Harry grabbed him by the arms pinning him
down on the couch as he hovered over straddling his hips touching his forehead
with his.
 
"Stop Louis, I'm sorry. Please..." Harry cried.
 
"Please not again, please get off." Louis pleaded thinking Harry was going to
hurt him again but Harry didn't moved at all.
 
"Please just give another chance. I love you, you have no idea how much I love
you. We could-we could start all over and form a family with Logan, I'll make
it up to you but please Louis." Harry begged as his tears fell landing on
Louis' cheeks.
 
"Get off," Louis growled pushing Harry off of him. "Do you really think I'll do
that? Form a family with you and act as if nothing happened, act like you never
tortured me for two years every day then raped me twice." Louis snapped getting
away from Harry.
 
"Louis please." Harry begged.
 
"And what else Harry? Wait, let me guess...we could get married and then fuck.
You could fuck the ugly nerd and I'll feel so damn lucky then we can have a few
more kids. Don't be a fool Harry, just get out of my life find someone else,
get married and have kids with that someone else because I will never forgive
you and we can never be together, not after what you did to me." Louis said
then began laughing as Harry watched him.
 
"Okay...I'm gonna go, just please let me know when I can see my daughter again.
Here's my address if you need something." Harry mumbled putting a card on
Louis' coffee table then grabbed his coat and walked out of Louis' flat into
the cold night air.
 
As soon as he was out of the flat he burst out crying as he walked towards his
car taking out his phone texting Nick asking him if he could meet him at the
bar close to his flat. Louis was left speechless after Harry left after just
accepting the fact that they could never be together and just move on, he felt
a pang on his chest at the thought of Harry marrying someone else and having
kids with that person which would probably end up with Harry forgetting about
Logan and that made him angry.
 
He groaned feeling desperate and confused, he had just yelled at Harry and even
laughed at him whenever he had talked about being a family and at the moment he
had done what felt right but deep inside he wanted just that; however, what
Harry had done to him was stronger than the need to be with him. Shaking his
head he locked the front door, turned off the lights and went to bed not even
bothering to wash his face or brush his teeth.
 
*~*
 
"Hey Nick." Harry mumbled walking up to where Nick was waiting for him at the
bar.
 
"Hey Harr-whoa what happened? Are you okay?" Nick asked in a concerned tone
taking in Harry's red rimmed eyes from crying and his disheveled hair.
 
"Doesn't matter..." Harry muttered taking a seat next to him ordering a drink.
 
"Was it your boyfriend Louis?" Nick asked.
 
"He's not my boyfriend." Harry said taking a drink.
 
"Oh...I thought you guys were dating since you have a kid with him." Nick
smiled getting closer to Harry.
 
"We do but no, we're not dating. He hates me." Harry frowned feeling even worse
when he said those three words out loud.
 
"It honestly didn't looked like that when I met him." Nick pressed.
 
Harry scoffed, "Of course it didn't, he really knows how to hide it."
 
"Look I don't know what happened but he'll get over it." Nick smiled.
 
They continued drinking, talking and laughing, Harry actually found himself
enjoying his company and thought about what Louis had told him earlier about
finding someone else. That someone else could be Nick. He moved closer to him
and wrapped an arm around his waist rubbing small circles on it with his thumb.
 
"Wanna go back to my flat?" Harry asked and smiled when Nick nodded.
 
They left the bar and walked a few blocks to Harry's flat stumbling and
laughing the whole way there leaving their cars there to be picked up in the
morning, as soon as they were inside Harry pushed Nick against the front door
and began kissing him and grinding against him as Nick pulled on Harry's hair
desperate for more friction. They moved over to Harry's room breaking the kiss
to see where they were going and as soon as they were there Nick immediately
removed their coats then their shirts pushing Harry down on the bed straddling
his hips. Harry grabbed Nick by the hips and flip him around getting in between
his legs grinding hard and kissing him with all his might. He opened his eyes
to look down expecting to see Nick but instead he saw him, he saw seventeen
year old Louis underneath him sobbing and begging him to stop just like he had
all those years ago. Harry quickly scrambled off of Nick with wide eyes looking
at Louis frantically, he closed his eyes and when he opened them again Nick was
once again standing in front of him.
 
"No, no, no, no, no." Harry chanted closing and opening his eyes over and over
again.
 
"Harry what's wrong, are you okay?" Nick asked kneeling down next to him
rubbing his back.
 
"I-I'm sorry...I-I can't, I can't." Harry cried breathing hard letting the
tears fall down remembering Louis and every thing he ever did to him.
 
"It's okay, we don't have to do anything that you don't want to." Nick quickly
said concerned over Harry's state.
 
"I-I think you should go. I'm sorry Nick, I'll call you later." Harry mumbled.
 
"Alright. Are you sure you're okay?"
 
"I am." Harry nodded.
 
"I'll see you later." Nick grabbed his clothes and left the flat.
 
As soon as Nick was gone Harry burst into tears and climbed up on his bed
getting under the covers bringing his knees up to his chest wrapping his arms
around them, he cried until he fell asleep curled up into a ball.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_miosb0q6De1rehf61o1_500-1_zps794f394c.gif]
      
     Direct link. :)
     http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/
     tumblr_miosb0q6De1rehf61o1_500-1_zps794f394c.gif.html
     Thoughts? :)
     Oh and I had a hard time writing Gryles, I'm still shuddering. Lol
***** No one's going to take your place *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Louis hurried around his room searching for his shoes then sighed walking out
of it heading to Logan's room to wake her up for breakfast, he had overslept
again that morning and he was already running late for the interview he had
with Teen Vogue that was part of friday's photoshoot with Harry and now he had
another one with another photographer. He started softly shaking and talking to
Logan who he always had trouble waking up on sundays and mondays when he
noticed his shoes by her bed filled with legos and pink glitter, he groaned and
bent down to get everything out before putting them on then went back to wake
his daughter up.
 
As soon as she was ready and sitting at the table eating cereal Louis hurried
around his room searching for his stuff and waiting for Anna to get there who
he noticed was running late and wanting to know why he picked his phone
noticing he had ten missed calls and a voice mail from her from last night when
he had had his phone on silent and hadn't even bothered to check it since he
was still upset with Harry.
 
"Hi Louis, I've been calling you for a while now but you won't answer for some
reason-are you and Logan okay? I was calling to let you know that I won't be
able to babysit Logan for the whole week because mum was involved in a car
accident and I had to go back home. I'm really sorry I'm telling you this on
such short notice and hopefully you'll find someone to babysit her. Tell my
munchkin I love her and I already miss her. I'm sorry Louis. Bye." Anna's
message played and Louis completely understood but couldn't help and curse.
 
"Now what?" He mumbled racking his brain for an option.
 
He groaned when he remembered all three of his friends were working late all
week and even though he was until four every day doing different things he just
couldn't take Logan with him or leave her alone in the flat and he didn't know
why the hell he was even thinking about leaving her alone. He walked back to
the kitchen finding an empty bowl and chair and wandered into the living room
where he saw Logan passed out on the couch hugging Mr. Curls and his beanie he
had lost the week before close to her chest. The H on the teddy bear's chest
reminded him of Harry wondering if he was working going back to last night's
conversation where he had told him he didn't worked all week and even though he
didn't trusted Harry alone with Logan he was the last option Louis had. He took
out his phone and searched his contacts for Harry until he found him praying
for him to not be angry at him and pick up his phone, for him to still want to
talk to him after last night and actually be free all week long.
 
"Pick up, pick up, pick up." Louis chanted then groaned when it went straight
to voicemail.
 
He tried three more times all going straight to voicemail until he had enough
and packed a bag of things he knew Logan would need, grabbed Harry's card from
the coffee table that lucky for him had his address then bundled Logan up into
warm sweat pants, her hoodie, shoes, jacket and a beanie leaving the flat
wearing the beanie he had found Logan with and quickly getting in his car
driving to Harry's flat finding out he didn't lived too far away from his own
flat. Once he was outside the building he grabbed Logan and the bag locking the
door and headed to his floor searching for the right one until he was standing
outside his front door.
 
He rung the doorbell and waited for him to open the door and after he didn't he
rung it again then knocked on the door desperate for him to just appear in
front of him still in pajamas indicating that he had nothing to do all day. He
finally had given up and slowly started walking away from the door with Logan
still asleep in his arms when the door swung open and a sleepy, annoyed and
shirtless Harry stood in front of him rubbing the sleep out of his slightly red
and swollen eyes. Louis gulped when he noticed them and couldn't help but let
his eyes roam Harry's naked torso taking in all the tattoos he had gotten over
the years, last night jeans resting low on his hips and his wild messy curls
just like Logan's.
 
"Louis? What are you doing here, is Logan sick?" Harry frantically asked going
from annoyed to worried in a fraction of a second as he tried to reach for her
but stopping when he remembered what had happened the night before then let his
hand drop back to his side not wanting to scare him again.
 
"No, she's fine. I was just wondering if you were doing anything today?" Louis
asked hoping for a no.
 
"Umm, why don't you two come in. Is she still asleep?" Harry asked taking
Logan's bag and moving over so Louis could enter his house.
 
"Yeah she's still asleep." Louis looked around Harry's flat, his eyes on a
picture of Harry and his family who he has not seen or talked to in almost four
years but still remembered that picture from Anne's living room.
 
"I'm not actually, I just need to organize some papers today and I do it here
so no I'm not doing anything at all. Why?" Harry motioned for Louis to take a
seat taking one himself.
 
"Well...I work all week until four and last night Anna, Logan's babysitter
called and left a voicemail saying she's not gonna be able to babysit her all
week and I was wondering if-if maybe you could watch her until I get back? It
doesn't have to be all week if you can't but can you? Today?" Louis nervously
asked pleading with his eyes.
 
"Yeah of course, but...I-I thought you didn't trusted me alone with her." Harry
said looking down at his lap.
 
"I still don't but I need someone to watch her and I don't wanna leave her
alone with a stranger and you're her dad so I figured this could be your chance
to show me you can be trusted with her." Louis explained.
 
"Okay...if you want to you can bring her here with me all week so you don't
have to leave her with a stranger." Harry smiled rubbing his eye.
 
"Thank you. So...a few things you need to know, don't let her have any soda.
She'll tell you that she's allowed to but she's not, if you have Apple juice
stick with that and don't let her drink it by herself on the couch because
she'll most likely spill it and the stains are hard to get out. She can go to
the bathroom by herself but don't let her lock the door because she can't open
it yet and will scream and cry until you get her out and don't let her wash her
hands without supervision because she'll waste all your soap and throw water at
the mirror. She watches The Amazing World of Gumball at three and she knows the
channel. What else...Oh, I brought toys for her to play with and a coloring
book with her crayons, please don't leave her alone or she'll color all over
your walls and I also packed her a change of clothes in case she gets dirty and
a few snacks." Louis finished getting up at the same time Harry did and
awkwardly gave her to him and watched as he cuddled her against his bare chest.
 
"Don't worry Louis, she'll be safe here with me and I'll text you with
updates." Harry smiled up at him and Louis felt weak at the knees just by
seeing those dimples.
 
"Yeah you do that. I'm gonna go and call me if anything happens. Bye love, I
love you babycakes." Louis said kissing her forehead ignoring Harry's face too
close to his own.
 
Harry got up with Logan in his arms following Louis to the door where he told
him he better not let anything happen to her then left giving him a warning
look. Harry closed the door after he had disappeared from his sight and yawned
taking Logan back to his room with him and gently took her winter coats, her
beanie and her shoes then lay her down on his old warm spot as he took the
other side next to her and fell asleep with an arm wrapped around her bringing
her close to his chest. When Harry woke up to the sound of his phone going off
meaning someone was calling him and a small weight on top of his chest drooling
on his collarbones he noticed it was already noon exactly two hours after Louis
had dropped their daughter off and quickly answered when he saw it was Louis
who was calling him.
 
"Hello?" Harry groggily answered noticing Logan sprawled like a star fish
asleep on top of his chest and he wondered why she was like that.
 
"He-were you asleep? Where's Logan?" Louis asked trying not to panic.
 
"We were asleep, she still is and...I woke up with her sleeping on top of me.
Is that-is that what she usually does or should I be worried?" Harry carefully
asked moving one of Logan's curls out of his mouth.
 
"Oh, she probably woke up while you were asleep and helped herself. She likes
to sleep like that when she's cold or just wants a cuddle, it's nothing to
worry about. I'm taking a break and I was just calling to check on her but
since she's still asleep just text me later okay." Louis said taking a drink
from his water bottle.
 
"Yeah I'll text you and i have to go 'cause I really have to pee and her knee's
pressing on my stomach. Bye." Harry said then hung up after Louis had said his
goodbyes.
 
He carefully lifted her up with no difficulty at all and placed her back on his
spot then made a quick run to the bathroom locking the door just in case she
woke up and decided to walk in. When he came back to his room after washing his
face and hands and brushing his teeth he found her in the middle of his bed
clutching her teddy bear, crying and looking around taking in her new
surroundings with wide eyes and rubbing her left eye as big fat tears rolled
down her cheeks.
 
"Daddy..." Logan cried looking around for Louis then cried louder when she saw
Harry.
 
"Curly, I want daddy..." She cried extending her arms reaching for him wanting
to be picked up.
 
"It's okay bug, daddy's working and he'll be back later." Harry soothed her
making his way over to her picking her up in his arms wiping away the tears.
 
"Where's daddy?" Logan hicupped wiping her nose with her sleeve.
 
"Daddy had to work today and he asked me if I could spend the day with you."
Harry explained grabbing a tissue wiping the snot out of her nose.
 
"Why?" Logan asked furrowing her eyebrows and tilting her head sideways.
 
"Because your babysitter couldn't stay with you, you'll be coming here all
week...I think, and we're gonna play all you want." Harry walked over to his
dresser with her still in his arms to look for a shirt.
 
"I like your pretty pictures." She randomly said rubbing her fingers over the
swallows then the tattoos on his left.
 
"Thank you." Harry smiled kissing her forehead, something he liked to do.
 
As soon as he had a random white t-shirt on he set Logan down on his bed then
quickly caught her when she tried to get away but as soon as he grabbed one of
her shoes she quickly made a run for it getting out of his reach and began
jumping on the bed. Whenever Harry was about to grab her she would run to the
other side madly giggling while Harry laughed trying to catch her. "Gotcha!"
Harry laughed grabbing her by the waist lifting her up in the air at arms
length making her scream in delight then lowered her back down attacking her
little face with kisses until she was screaming and laughing begging him to
stop. With one last kiss he sat her on his lap and put her shoes back on then
grabbed her hand and walked with her towards the living room wondering what
could he make for lunch wondering if Logan was hungry.
 
Once they stepped in the living room Logan let go of his hand and ran to the
front where he had the tv and a few way too many children movies, he loved
Disney and Pixar movies and he wasn't afraid to admit it. She plopped down in
front of the tv stand and began taking the movies out looking at the front then
either leaving them out or putting them back in their old place sticking her
tongue out and brows furrowing in concentration which Harry thought was the
cutest thing he had ever seen. He sat down on the recliner closest to her and
watched with adoration until she squealed and quickly got up running up to
Harry colliding with her knees showing him the Toy Story three movie set he had
gotten earlier that year.
 
"Can we watch it curly....please." Logan asked bouncing up and down pleading
with her bright green/blue eyes pouting her bottom lip giving Harry a taste of
his own medicine.
 
"Of course bug, why don't you sit down on the couch while I put it on." Harry
said taking the box from her hand getting up walking to the DVD player.
 
While he was waiting he watched Logan pull out her Jessy doll and a pink
blanket then bent down going through the DVD's she had left out on the floor
which were quite a few, he picked them up and set them down on the coffee table
in three piles then grabbed the remotes taking a seat next to her where she
immediately moved over to his lap.
 
"Curly we watch all those okay." Logan mumbled turning her head around to look
at Harry pointing to the pile Harry had made.
 
"Sure." Harry smiled then pressed play. "Bug, are you hungry?"
 
"Yes, I want macaloni and cheese please and thank you. Daddy says I a'ways have
to say please and thank you. Do you say them curly? If you don't I'm gonna tell
daddy." Logan mumbled not looking away from the tv as Harry chuckled at her
cuteness.
 
"I always say them baby." Harry smiled getting up from his spot.
 
He walked into the kitchen getting out all of the ingredients he would need,
while he waited he decided to check his phone noticing the four missed calls
from Louis before he showed up and he felt guilty for not answering but glad
that Louis had decided to just show up because if he hadn't then he wouldn't be
spending time with Logan. Once he was done making the food for both of them he
decided to just eat in the living room so they could keep watching the movie
and sat down with Logan as she moved as close to him as she could eating, Harry
was just getting comfortable when the doorbell rang and got up to get it
telling her to stay there.
 
"Liam, what are you doing here?" Harry nervously asked remembering that he
never called Liam to tell him about his daughter.
 
"You didn't called me all weekend and I came to see you...are you watching toy
story without me?" Liam asked heading to the living room while Harry closed the
door and stood there not moving at all.
 
"Uh Harry? Wanna tell me who the little girl is?" Liam carefully asked coming
back expecting an answer.
 
"My daughter." Harry answered but it came out sounding like a question.
 
"Your daughter? How did you...Harry please tell me she's here with Louis'
permission and you didn't just took her." Liam asked panicking.
 
"What? I didn't took her Liam, I'm watching her because Louis had to work and
no one else could watch her and this is my chance to show him he can trust me
with her." Harry quickly explained offended that Liam thought he had kidnapped
her.
 
"Okay okay I'm sorry...You have a lot to explain Styles. I wanna know now."
Liam dragged Harry to the kitchen and made him sit then he took a seat across
from him.
 
"After you left I called my mum and told her what had happened and she just
asked me if Louis had finally told me and you have no idea how betrayed I felt
knowing that my whole family knew about her but I didn't then she told me she
had just found out too when she saw a picture of Louis holding a baby. We
talked for a bit then she sent the pictures and...I just felt horrible because
I missed every thing and it hurts, the next day I was walking around the park
and I saw her and she called Louis daddy. I've been trying to convince Louis to
let me be in her life and he agreed but he still hates me Liam." Harry teared
remembering last night's conversation.
 
"Oh Harry, you have to understand that he's still hurting, you treated him like
shit for two years just because you were in denial and then you-you hurt
him...twice. He doesn't trust you and he probably thinks you're gonna hurt that
little girl, but I think this is progress because he's letting you see her and
be alone with her." Liam said grabbing one of Harry's hands.
 
"I would never hurt her, she's my daughter and I would never hurt my own kid.
Yesterday I asked him if we could start over and try to be a family for Logan
but he just yelled at me then laughed, he told me I should just find someone
else and move on. I just want to make it up to him because I love him, I still
do and he just laughed and I deserve it." Harry said quickly wiping away the
tears.
 
"He can't just forget what he went through Harry. What are you gonna do?"
 
"What he said, I'm gonna find someone else and move on, get married and have
more kids. I'll still be there for Logan no matter what. Last night I realized
he will never forgive me and will never give me another chance, I'm just gonna
focus on her and try to move on but no one's ever going to take his place."
Harry mumbled.
 
"I think that's for the best. Can I meet her?" Liam smiled.
 
"Of course, she's your niece after all." Harry smiled big.
 
"My niece...holy fudge I'm an uncle." Liam grinned from ear to ear.
 
"Bug?" Harry called walking to the living room followed by Liam.
 
"Curly?" Logan copied then giggled from where she was sprawled on the couch
with an empty plate on the table.
 
"Come here," Harry picked her up bringing her to Liam and she quickly hid her
face on Harry's neck. "Logan this is uncle Liam."
 
"Hi Logan, I noticed you like toy story and did you know I like it too and my
favorite's Woody. Who's your favorite?" Liam asked smiling when Logan looked at
him then grabbed Harry's cheek bringing it next to hers.
 
"Jessy, I like Jessy." Logan smiled wiggling out of Harry's arms running back
to the couch after Harry had set her down.
 
"Wow, she's gorgeous. What a combination of both Louis and you, she looks a lot
like you but she's tiny like Louis was back when we were kids. She definitely
got her size from him." Liam warmly smiled, fondness already showing up in his
voice and eyes.
 
"Gosh Liam, she already has you wrapped around her little finger. Don't worry,
I am too." Harry smiled turning his head around to look at Logan.
 
"She calls you curly, does she know you're her other father?" Liam asked taking
a seat to watch the movie.
 
"I told her but she hasn't called me dad or daddy." Harry shrugged knowing it
could take her forever to call him any of those and for now he was happy with
curly.
 
"What do you want her to call you?"
 
"I really don't care. Louis is daddy and if she wants to call me dad that's
fine with me." Harry smiled.
 
"Unca Leeyum you can borrow my Woody." Logan smiled crawling up to Liam giving
him her Woody.
 
"Thank you Logan, that's really nice of you." Liam smiled and Harry knew he was
a goner.
 
"I want it back when I go home with daddy." Logan announced crawling over
Liam's lap to get to Harry while Harry laughed.
 
Harry ended up asking Liam to spend the day with them and soon Logan was
climbing all over Liam and poking his stubble giggling every time he tried to
fake eat her hand then hugged when Andy left for college.
 
"When's your family going to meet her?" Liam asked Harry.
 
"I don't know yet, she'll be turning four in two weeks and I thought that maybe
they could meet her then." Harry sighed as Logan tied one of the many messy and
painful pigtails with her bows.
 
"Harry...You look hilarious." Liam burst out laughing covering his mouth with
his hand.
 
"No...he's pretty." Logan pointed putting a final bow on Harry's hair yanking
it making Harry flinch but he didn't say anything, he would endure all kinds of
pain if it meant she was happy and laughing.
 
"Yeah Liam I'm pretty. Bug tell uncle Liam your dad's pretty." Harry pulled
Logan over to his lap wrapping his arms around her, he had been referring
himself as her dad all day long.
 
"Unca Leeyum, dad's pretty." Logan giggled completely amused.
 
"Liam she said dad." Harry spoke then smiled.
 
"She did."
 
"Dad...daddy curly, I have to potty." She announced squirming in his arms until
he let her go.
 
He took her to the bathroom noticing it was almost four and that Louis would be
there to pick her up at any minute now, he took off the bows while he waited
for her then walked in when she announced again that she couldn't reach the
sink and he had to help her out so she could wash her hands. He heard the
doorbell but knew Liam would answer it so he patiently waited for Logan to
finish what she was doing, he walked back into the living room to see Louis and
Liam talking.
 
"Daddy Louis!" Logan shouted running to Louis hugging his legs tightly.
 
"Hi love, how was your day? Did you do something fun?" Louis asked picking her
up and kissing her cheek while she wrapped her arms around his neck kissing his
temple.
 
"Yes! Daddy curly watched toy story with me and unca Leeyum too and I did
daddy's hair like auntie El does mine. Unca Leeyum likes toy story and Woody. I
missed you lots daddy." Logan babbled.
 
"I missed you too love. Uncle Liam, daddy curly?" Louis asked looking at the
two nervous men.
 
"Mhm, daddy curly has lots of movies I like and we watched 'em." Logan took a
deep breath resting her head on his shoulder.
 
"Hunter why don't you go ahead and pack your stuff in your bag." Louis set her
down and watched her as she ran to get her bag.
 
"Thank you for watching her Harry and Liam it was really nice seeing you
again." Louis gave a tiny smile directed at Liam.
 
"Yeah me too, I'm gonna go help her with her stuff." Liam quickly left the room
leaving them alone in an awkward silence.
 
"Did she give you any trouble?" Louis asked.
 
"No, she was good...she's a good girl. I'm sorry Louis, she just started
calling me daddy and I exactly don't want to tell her to stop." Harry
explained.
 
"Don't you want her to call you daddy?" Louis asked afraid of the answer.
 
"No, no, I am happy that she calls me daddy and I just thought you won't like
that." Harry quickly said taking a step forward careful not to get too close to
him.
 
"Harry she's your daughter and I don't mind if she calls you dad, it was bound
to happen at some point now." Louis sighed fiddling with his hands.
 
"Thank you."
 
"You're welcome...You're gonna think I'm crossing the line but are you busy
tomorrow? I would leave her with Zayn, Niall or Eleanor but they work late all
week and I don't have anyone to-"
 
"I have to go to the studio tomorrow and do some stuff but I can take her with
me...if you don't mind." Harry hesitated.
 
"Are you sure you can take her, what if she breaks something?" Louis asked.
 
"I own the studio and if she breaks something it's no big deal. I wanted to
talk to you about something, she's my daughter too and I want to support her
financially." Harry said then internally groaned when Louis suddenly turned to
looking rather angry.
 
"You don't have to do that." Louis hissed.
 
"But I want to, I'm not doing it just because it's my responsibility, I'm doing
it because I want to. Louis please." Harry begged.
 
"We'll talk about that later." Louis ended the conversation just as fast as it
had started.
 
"Later then, just bring her tomorrow and bring her car seat. And like I said
earlier, she can stay with me all week if you want." Harry said not smiling
anymore like the previous days and Louis noticed it.
 
"-and we eat lots of ice cream, okay unca Leeyum." Logan smiled quickly hugging
Liam then moved in front of Harry so he could pick her up..
 
"I'll see you tomorrow bug, daddy loves you." Harry kissed her cheeks and
hugged her tightly.
 
"I love you too daddy curly." Logan smiled kissing his cheek.
 
"C'mon love, we have to go." Louis smiled.
 
"I'm coming over tomorrow daddy Louis? We have to watch Shwrek." Logan told
Louis as he bundled her up.
 
"Yeah. Thank you again. Liam, nice seeing you again, Zayn and Niall would love
to see you again." Louis smiled as Harry watched in pain how he'll never smile
at him like that.
 
Louis left after Logan hugged Liam and cuddled with Harry for a little bit more
then they left leaving Harry and Liam alone in a loud silence after the many
laughs and giggles they had heard all day long.
 
"He changed a lot." Liam sat on the couch next to Harry organizing the DVD's.
 
"I know..." Harry mumbled.
 
"He's no longer that shy, quiet and innocent Louis we all knew."
 
"Of course not Liam...not after I ruined his life." Harry fiddled with as loose
thread of his shirt.
 
"Have you seen his parents and sisters, I saw them a few months back when I
went to visit my parents." Liam said wondering what had they talked about while
he had been gone helping Logan.
 
"I haven't seen them since I stopped going to Doncaster. What are you doing
tonight?" Harry asked.
 
"I hoping we could hang out some more, being adults suck cause we never have
time for each other anymore." Liam sighed rubbing his temples.
 
"You're twenty two and I'm twenty one Liam, we're not that old yet." Harry
finally cracked a smile making Liam feel better.
 
"Pretty soon you'll be twenty two with a four year old kid, what are you doing
for your and her birthday. Is Louis throwing a party for her?" Liam asked
already thinking of what he could get her.
 
"I honestly don't know Liam. I am spending it with my family and that includes
you but I have no idea about her, if Louis throws her a party I don't think
he's gonna invite me." Harry shrugged it off trying to make it look like it was
no big deal but it hurt
 
"Logan will want you there, I've seen how attached she's to you already and she
looks at you the same way she does to Louis and if that look she gives you both
doesn't scream I love my daddies then I don't know what does. And
Louis...underneath those walls he's built and the hard looks, I know the shy
innocent Louis who loves you it's still there somewhere." Liam finished patting
Harry's shoulder.
 
"He hates me Liam, he said so himself." Harry argued biting his bottom lip.
 
"You know Harry...they say it's true love when it hurts all the way to the
depths of your soul, because that's what it is between Louis and you Harry.
True love." Liam murmured putting his arm around Harry's shoulder.
 
"Yeah...well this one hurts for all the wrong reasons." Harry sighed letting
one last single tear roll down his cheek.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1387725488487_zpsf19d59f0.jpg]
      
      
      
     Direct link! :)
      
     http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     PicsArt_1387725488487_zpsf19d59f0.jpg
     I am aware that Logan has already started calling Harry daddy and
     you're all probably thinking it's too soon but I did it for a reason.
     You'll see why. :)
     Thoughts?! :)
***** You put your arms around me and I'm home *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Logan please don't run, you're gonna fall." Louis shouted after his daughter,
as soon as they had stepped inside their home she had bolted towards the toys
in the living room.
 
"I run good daddy Louis!" Logan yelled back.
 
Louis sighed at the daddy Louis and daddy curly just getting over it since it
had to happen at some point but the idea of having to share his daughter wasn't
that appealing to him. He erased those thoughts from his mind and started
dinner before Logan could complain over how hungry she was enough to eat more
than her uncle Niall which was saying something since that girl could eat like
him and still stay tiny, a trait everyone liked to say she had gotten from him
instead of Harry's height and broader figure. He spotted his cellphone next to
Logan and wondered when had his sneaky daughter gotten ahold of it, he walked
up to her and took it without saying anything as he searched for his contacts
to call his mother Jay after a month of not talking to her when she kept
insisting that he should tell Harry about their daughter and he had yelled at
her telling her to mind her own business.
 
"Louis?" Jay answered the phone happy that he had finally called her back.
 
"I'm sorry mum." Louis' voice trembled.
 
"You have nothing to be sorry for darling, nothing. How are you, how's the
munchkin?" Jay eagerly asked.
 
"We're good..." Louis mumbled. "Mum Harry knows!" He finally said after a
pause.
 
"You finally told him? How did he reacted, did he accepted her?" Jay asked
afraid of the answer, of Harry hurting Louis again even though Anne had
reassured her that he loved Louis and wouldn't do anything against him.
 
"I didn't mum and I never planned on it but...do you remember the guy I told
you about, the one who helped me when I had Logan? Andy Samuels knows Liam
Payne and Liam's friends with Harry all three of them met up and since I had to
work with Harry he had my pictures and Andy saw them, he told them about me not
knowing who he was giving that information to." Louis explained taking a deep
breath at the end.
 
"You worked with Harry?"
 
"Yeah mum, a photoshoot for Teen Vogue." Louis sighed looking inside the fridge
to see what he could make.
 
"Oh, and the public hasn't caught up on the fact that you have a daughter and
with the Harry Styles? Did Harry looked for both of you?" Jay asked.
 
"I've done a pretty good job at keeping her away from that environment but I
don't know if they have yet, I don't really care anymore since the one who I
was hiding her from already knows. He saw us at the park and I tried to get
away from there but he told me he knew everything then threatened to get
custody if I didn't let him see her which I know now that a judge will never
grant it to him but I was too stunned to realize it back then. He spent the
weekend here and since Anna can't babysit all week Harry's gonna watch her
while I'm gone, mum she already calls him daddy." Louis wailed pulling his hair
with his free hand.
 
"Well he is her father after all and I know it's not easy for you but he has
the right to know her." Jay tried to reason with him.
 
"He doesn't deserve her mum, I don't trust him with her and today I couldn't
concentrate at all because I had to leave her with him, I had no choice." Louis
moved around in the kitchen.
 
"I have to tell you something." Jay nervously said.
 
"Shoot."
 
"The day before we talked for the last time Anne, Gemma, and Robin came over
for dinner and please don't be mad at Daisy. She was in my room going through
your pictures and found the two pictures you sent me after Logan was born and
showed them to Anne and Gemma, sweetheart I had to tell them who the baby was
and I made them promise me they weren't going to tell Harry. I'm guessing they
didn't because then Harry would've found you a long time ago and yesterday Anne
told me Harry had called her crying hysterically after he found out." Jay
explained.
 
"How-how did Harry's family took the news?" Louis fiddled with a spoon.
 
"They're dying to meet her Louis, they already love her and Anne even asked for
a picture of her but since I don't have any apart from those two I couldn't
really give her any."
 
"They'll meet her soon." Louis told her making a drastic decision.
 
"Are you coming home?" Jay smiled trying to contain her excitement.
 
"I was thinking that maybe we could celebrate her birthday in Doncaster that
way Anne, Gemma, and Robin can meet her." Louis said poking his head out of the
kitchen to check on Logan frowning when he didn't see her.
 
"Are you gonna invite Harry?" Jay asked.
 
"I have to-hold on mum, I don't know where Logan went." Louis said panicking
then calmed down when he saw her under the kitchen table playing with a Barbie.
 
"Is she okay?"
 
"Yeah, she was under the table...like I was saying, if they're gonna meet her
then I think Harry has to be there ." Louis sighed.
 
"How's Harry with her?"
 
"He's-he's really good with her, more than he should be." Louis grumbled
looking around the kitchen for nothing in particular.
 
"There's something you're not telling me Lou, c'mon spit it out." Jay demanded
sensing her son's uneasiness.
 
"Harry asked for another chance, he said he wanted to be a family if I wanted
and said he was really sorry for what he did." Louis confessed.
 
"And what did you said?"
 
"You know I still love him mum and I don't get it why but it's not that easy, I
can't just forget everything he did to me. I said horrible things and I even
laughed, I told him that he should just move on and find someone else and form
a family." Louis said wiping a few tears away.
 
"Are you sure that's what you want Louis?" Jay asked worried about them.
 
"No but it's for the best." Louis quickly answered.
 
"If that's what you want then I'll support you no matter what."
 
"Now he's telling me he wants to support her financially and then what? He'll
probably want her to have his last name, he'll want his name on her birth
certificate and I can't let that happen." Louis complained.
 
The realization of Harry wanting to recognize her and be recognized as her
biological father scared him because he knew that once his name was there he
would have rights over her and will be able to make decisions regarding her and
that's something he didn't wanted and couldn't let it happen. Ever since the
day he found out he was pregnant with her and from day one he had always being
the one to take care of her and support her giving her everything he could.
Whenever he couldn't afford her diapers or even formula he would always
sacrifice buying something he wanted or needed just so she wouldn't starve and
was grateful that his friends and family were always there to help him. Now
that Harry wanted to support her when they didn't needed it anymore angered him
and he just wanted to tell him to fuck off.
 
"I don't know what to tell you Lou, I honestly don't." Jay sighed.
 
"I have to go mum, I have to make dinner." Louis said.
 
"Alright love, I'll see you and Logan in a few weeks. Just wait until I tell
Mark and the girls you're coming home, tell my grandbaby I love her and give
her a kiss for me please. Love you Lou." Jay happily said.
 
"I love you too mum." Louis smiled then hung up getting ready to cook when he
felt tiny hands around his thigh. He looked down smiling then picked her up
cradling her head against his chest after she kissed his cheek.
 
"Where's daddy curly?" Logan asked looking around the kitchen expecting to see
Harry and frowned when she didn't see him.
 
"He's at his house baby." Louis answered brushing her hair with his fingers.
 
"I'm hungry." Logan announced.
 
"Tell me something love, was daddy curly nice to you?" Louis asked her hoping
to get some information out of her.
 
"Mhm, he let me watch all his movies and made food and played with me."
 
"And did he told you to call him daddy curly?" Louis pushed for answers.
 
"He is daddy curly, he plays with me like Alex daddy and curly says he's my
daddy. Is he, daddy Louis?" Logan asked frowning in confusion looking at Louis
with her hand on his cheek.
 
"Do you want him to be your daddy?" Louis asked not knowing what to tell her.
 
"Yes, he's nice." Logan sighed putting her head on Louis' shoulder and he could
hear her yawning.
 
"Yeah baby, he is your daddy." Louis said as a few tears escaped from his eyes
wishing things were easier but knowing that was impossible and he hated himself
for not being able to give his daughter the life and family she deserved.
 
For the rest of the day he couldn't stop thinking about every single thing he
had to go through, all the tears he had and is still crying wishing he could
just forget and be forgotten and instead focused on Logan's birthday party and
how he and Harry were going do things. He wondered if Alex's parents would be
willing to drive all the way to Doncaster and groaned when he remembered he
hadn't even gotten their phone numbers that day at the park. He was even more
nervous knowing Anne, Gemma, and Robin were going to meet her and it wasn't
because Logan was a shy girl which she wasn't at all, it was the fact that by
her birthday she would have new grandparents and a new aunt.
 
"Daddy I'm tired." Logan yawned taking her clothes off in the middle of the
living room to change into pajamas and go to bed.
 
"Aren't you going to take a bath first." Louis asked trying not to laugh.
 
"Yes, you get it ready okay?" Logan smiled walking to her room with her clothes
in one hand and Mr. Curls in the other.
 
After he was done giving her a bath and had put her to bed he took a quick
shower then went to bed so he wouldn't over sleep the next day.
 
~*~
 
"Thanks for inviting me Drew, I had a great time." Harry smiled opening the
door of his flat.
 
"No problem, we should do it again some other day." Drew smiled.
 
"Yeah definitely."
 
Liam had left a few hours later after Louis and Logan did and not really
wanting to be alone yet had called Drew, one of his old classmates from uni
asking what he was doing and ended up being invited to dinner by him. Nick was
in the past when Drew told him he was married and he had even attended the
wedding the previous year and Harry feeling guilty had deleted his number.
Harry had never laughed like he did with Drew in almost six years and he felt
so much better after spending time with him even if it could never compare to
the lazy afternoons he spent cuddled up next to Louis when they were still best
friends. He began to wonder why he had never noticed Drew the way he was doing
now but he knew he was just desperate to find someone and get over Louis and as
he kept talking he did something without really thinking it through. He leaned
in and caught Drew's lips on his own as he kissed back, it lasted a few seconds
before Harry pulled away looking at him nervously.
 
"I-I've always wanted you to do that." Drew blushed looking at the floor.
 
"Really?" Harry asked.
 
"Yeah." He smiled.
 
"Listen...I know it's a little soon but I was thinking-do you want to go on a
date with me?" He asked.
 
"I would love to." Drew said.
 
"Okay...I'll text you okay." Harry said.
 
"Yeah, I'll see you later Harry." Drew hugged Harry before leaving.
 
Harry let out a deep breath then walked into his flat taking his clothes off on
the way to his room willing himself to believe that asking Drew on a date and
later maybe become something more was for the best. He was a great guy and
Harry knew that maybe one day he would be able to fall in love with him and
forget Louis wanting to cry because that was impossible, he couldn't and will
never stop loving Louis as much as he tried and no matter what he did. He fell
asleep thinking about the family he could have had but threw away, the family
he never had and would never have because of the bad things he had done.
 
The next morning Harry slowly walked back to his flat all bundled up to protect
himself from the cold morning after a morning jog around the block, he walked
into the lobby just as the elevator door where he had seen Louis and Logan
closed then quickly took the stairs jogging at a fast but steady space. He
slowed down when he was on the floor below his and when he walked out of the
staircase Louis was already knocking holding Logan's car seat and bag as she
stood next to him leaning against his leg with an arm wrapped around his thigh
also knocking on the door, she turned around when she heard him and her eyes
widened and took off running towards him.
 
"Curly my daddy!" She giggled colliding against his legs wrapping her arms
around them looking up at him with the biggest smile noticing tiny dimples
starting to form on her slightly chubby cheeks.
 
"Good morning sunshine." Harry smiled bending down to pick her up littering her
face with kisses as she giggled grabbing his nose to make him stop.
 
"Morning Louis, How are you?" Harry asked still laughing glancing at Louis for
a few seconds before his attention went back to Logan.
 
"I'm good. How are you?" Louis awkwardly asked noticing he wasn't paying
attention to him at all.
 
"Good." Harry said walking over to the door to open it letting Louis in first.
 
"So uh...here's her stuff and call me if anything happens."
 
"Actually, do you mind if I take a quick shower first? I smell and I don't
wanna leave her alone." Harry asked.
 
"No, not at all. I'll wait here." Louis quickly said and watched him put Logan
down then walk to where Louis assumed was his room definitely not thinking
about naked Harry and now that he thought about it he never saw him properly
naked that day, he only felt him.
 
He slowly sat down on the couch watching Logan as she went through the DVD's on
the coffee table then walked over to the tv stand plopping down and opening it
taking out more movies smiling when she saw one she liked. He looked around the
room taking in the creme colored walls with random and beautiful pictures
noticing a black and white picture of Anne and Gemma looking down at a white
rose they were holding, they were smiling and Louis couldn't help but smile
too.
 
"Hunter please put those movies back." Louis sighed getting up to put them back
in their place.
 
"We watching them daddy." Logan pouted looking at Louis.
 
"You already have movies out on top of the coffee table baby, when you're done
watching those and put them back here then you can take these out. They're not
going anywhere sweetheart." Louis explained.
 
"Okay daddy Louis." Logan shrugged and Louis knew what she was up to, wait for
him to leave to take them out again.
 
"Thank you love." Louis smiled helping her put them back.
 
"Louis?" He heard Harry.
 
"In here." Louis answered still trying to put all the movies back noticing they
were all children movies and the not so children friendly were out of her reach
and he relaxed a bit.
 
"What are you do-oh it's alright if she wants to take them all out, I don't
mind." Harry said typing on his phone wearing the biggest smile making Louis
wonder who he was texting.
 
"Don't do that Harry." Louis said putting the last DVD in its place.
 
"Do what?" Harry gave Louis a confused look.
 
"Let her do whatever she wants to whenever she feels like it. I know you
haven't been around her whole life but that's not how I raised her, I'm not
saying you're a bad parent but try to show her that she needs to listen to you
or else she won't whenever you ask her to do or stop doing something." Louis
explained as best as he could trying to avoid what had happened when they went
out for breakfast.
 
"Okay, thanks for not yelling at me." Harry smiled
 
"No problem," Louis said taking in Harry's appearance, he was just wearing
black skinny jeans and a white shirt, hair still a little wet. "I'm gonna go
now. I'll come pick you up at four baby, I love you and be a good girl for
daddy curly okay." Louis smiled hugging her kissing her cheek.
 
"I love you too daddy, lots and lots." She wrapped her arms around his neck
then let go giving him kisses on the cheek.
 
"She already had breakfast, call me if anything happens." Louis said then left
leaving Harry alone with his daughter.
 
They stared at each other for a while not saying anything until she sighed
loudly and walked up to him holding her arms up into the air so he could pick
her up. Harry happily picked her up and hugged her rubbing her back rocking her
from side to side enjoying the quiet time with her. He decided to get ready so
he could go to the studio and then grocery shopping if he wanted food in the
house to feed his daughter.
 
"We're gonna go out and when we come back we can watch Shrek okay." Harry let
her know trying to put her down but she only clung to him tighter.
 
"Hold me daddy curly, daddy Louis holds me." Logan whined and how could he say
no to her.
 
Harry quickly got ready doing everything while holding her finding the task
quite difficult but managed to do it nonetheless. He laughed when she demanded
she be put down so she could press the elevator buttons and as soon as they
were in the lobby he grabbed her hand tighter, it was his first time with her
all by himself without Louis and he wanted everything to go okay.
 
"Where we going?" She asked him as he buckled her up in the backseat.
 
"Well miss Logan, first we're gonna go to my studio where I work then we're
gonna go grocery shopping." Harry finished buckling her up then kissed her
forehand shutting the door and quickly getting on the drivers side.
 
"Daddy Louis never takes me to his work." Logan pouted.
 
"That's because he can't bug." Harry smiled looking at her through the rearview
mirror.
 
"You can." She sighed focusing her attention on Mr. Curls.
 
"Daddy"
 
"Yeah love bug?"
 
"I love daddy Louis, do you love him too?" She innocently asked chewing in Mr.
Curls ear.
 
"Yeah, I love daddy Louis too." He answered without hesitation then focused
back on the road.
 
He couldn't stop thinking about what she had just asked him, even if he was
gonna go on a date with Drew he couldn't help but wish it was Louis. He wished
Louis would forgive him and start a family with him but he had to learn, he had
to stop loving him. He reached for his iPod plugging it in and immediately
music filled the car catching Logan's attention who began moving her head to
the beat of the song.
 
"You got me running going out of my mind, you got me thinking that I'm wasting
my time. Don't bring me down." Harry sang along.
 
He parked his car in the usual spot taking his iPod shutting down the engine
before he grabbed his and Logan's stuff and unbuckled her picking her up. He
set her down holding her hand and walked up to the door noticing a cardboard
box outside by the steps and carefully approached it looking inside just as
Logan let out an excited squeal letting go of his hand.
 
"Look daddy, it's a puppy!" She exclaimed kneeling down and just as she was
about to touch it Harry intervened.
 
"Bug I don't think we should touch it." Harry freaked out pulling her backwards
observing the small Golden Retriever.
 
"Why?" She whined.
 
"It could have fleas or ticks, they're gross and bad for you." Harry explained
and watched horrified when she picked it up hugging it close to his chest.
 
"Logan put-" Harry checked to see the gender. "Logan put him back please."
 
"Daddy I want him." Logan begged.
 
"I'm sorry bug but we can't keep him, I don't think daddy Louis would like a
dog in his flat." Harry said feeling bad for not letting her keep him.
 
"But he's just a little boy and needs cuddles 'cause he's cold. 'Arry please.
Daddy..." Logan began crying.
 
Logan's tears and the dog's whimpers was all Harry could see and hear as he
struggled to keep his decision of not letting her keep him, he didn't wanted to
give Louis another reason to make him think he was a shit parent. He tried to
take the puppy away but she began to full on cry and Harry felt horrible
because all he wanted was to see her laughing and never crying so he just
smiled at her knowing Louis was going to kill him and probably never let him
see her again.
 
"Okay we'll keep him but he has to live with me, you can't take him with you
and daddy Louis, okay?" Harry said.
 
"Okay." Logan hicupped hugging the puppy tighter.
 
"How are we gonna name him?" Harry asked unlocking the door and making a mental
note to take him to a vet later that day.
 
"Number two." Logan simply answered walking in while Harry tried not to laugh.
 
"Baby we can't name him number two, he needs a more appropriate name." Harry
chuckled putting all his stuff on top of his desk then knelt down in front of
her.
 
"I don't know..." Logan mumbled thoughtfully.
 
"How about...Bruno? You like Bruno?" Harry asked.
 
"No."
 
"Buttercup or...chocolate?" Harry suggested poking her nose.
 
"Buttercup Cocholate. His name is Buttercup Cocholate daddy." Logan decided
stepping closer to Harry wrapping her arm around his neck.
 
"Are you sure that's how you wanna name him?" Harry asked hoping for a no.
 
"Yes." Logan nodded kissing Harry's nose then giggled when Buttercup licked her
chin.
 
"Alright, Buttercup Chocolate it is then." Harry smiled.
 
He immediately got to work wanting to finish early while Logan played with her
puppy under his careful watch, he played some music and chuckled when Logan
kept asking him to play 'Don't bringing me down' over and over. Once he was
done he picked his stuff up and left his studio carrying both Logan and
Buttercup after she accidentally dropped him and had cried for thirty minutes
straight telling him and Harry she was so sorry while he held her and comforted
her. He got in his car sending a quick text to Louis telling him she was doing
fine then drove towards the vet after he had called a trusted clinic he had
found on the internet to make a fast appointment satisfied when he walked in.
 
"Hi, I'm Harry Styles. I called earlier today to make an appointment to get
this little guy checked out." He smiled at the brunette receptionist who smiled
warmly at him when she saw him carrying his daughter, her bag and the puppy
while trying to wipe her nose with a tissue.
 
"Of course Mr. Styles, if you'll just fill these out for me please." She
smiled.
 
"Thank you." Harry smiled putting Logan down then took the forms guiding her to
sit in one of the chairs putting Buttercup on her lap.
 
"I'm hungry." Logan announced playing with the dog and looking at Harry
expecting the food to pop out from his hands like it did with Louis.
 
"Oh, umm daddy packed you peanut butter crackers. I'll buy you something to eat
when we get out of here okay?" Harry said rummaging through her bag then took
out a bag of crackers opening it then giving it to her.
 
"Okay." She shrugged taking them and eating them silently.
 
"I want soda, daddy Louis gives me soda." Logan said after a while of sitting
there.
 
"No he doesn't, he told me you can't have any. Water's better for you bug."
Harry smiled giving her a small water bottle.
 
To Harry it felt like an eternity as he waited to be called in then the
appointment itself having to answer a few questions and after that he took
Logan to eat something healthy before going to the grocery store. Logan
absolutely refused to leave Buttercup in the car and Harry had to stand in
front of her in the parking lot trying to convince her to leave him telling her
that they weren't allowed in the store. He didn't know being a father could be
that hard until she started kicking the back of the front seat crying loudly
and people would either look at him with a sorry look or a judgmental one.
 
The shopping was easier and once he had gotten everything he needed for them
and the dog he finally went back to his flat where he collapsed on the couch
with Logan completely exhausted from the long day after putting away the
groceries. They watched Shrek then fell asleep on the couch cuddling close
together with her arms around him where he finally felt at home.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo harry-styles-running-14_zps2bf964a5.jpg]
      
      
     http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/harry-styles-running-
     14_zps2bf964a5.jpg.html
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** So I'll make whirlpools, and watch him sparkle *****
Chapter Notes
     First chapter of the year that's also chapter ten! We made it to the
     double digits! Happy New year!
     I was listening to Legendary Lovers by Katy Perry and Your Song by
     Kate Walsh while typing this. Lol
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Harry was already awake when Louis got there to pick their daughter up, he was
making something to eat while she played with Buttercup when he heard the
doorbell and went to open the door rather nervously whistling all the way
there. Louis stood there looking exhausted and ready to go to bed as soon as he
had his daughter and they were back in their home.
 
"Long day?" Harry casually asked letting him in.
 
"Yeah. Where's Logan?" Louis walked inside looking around.
 
"She's in the kitchen...playing...under the table." Harry hesitated looking at
Louis with a questioning and worried look.
 
"She tends to do that when I'm making dinner." Louis explained.
 
"Oh okay...I was worried there." He mumbled.
 
"How was she?"
 
"Uh, she was-she was good." Harry awkwardly answered standing in front of
Louis.
 
Louis sighed, "What did she do?"
 
"She threw a few tantrums but nothing I couldn't handle." Harry quickly said
leaning against the wall crossing his arms over his chest.
 
"Welcome to fatherhood." Louis mumbled tearing his gaze away from Harry .
 
"Yeah. Listen, I need to tell you something." Harry said wanting to tell him
about the dog but Logan got there first with Buttercup following behind her.
 
"Daddy Lou you're back, I missed you!" Logan hugged his legs kissing his left
thigh while Louis only had eyes for the puppy running around his daughter never
taking his eyes off of him when Logan ran to the living room giggling.
 
"You-Harry you got her a dog? Is that why she threw that tantrum? She wanted
the dog?" Louis asked shaking his head pinching the bridge of his nose.
 
"Yeah, I guess I did. I hate seeing her cry and she wouldn't let go of him so I
let her keep him. Don't worry though, I made her promise me he would stay here
so you don't have to deal with him." Harry quickly explained noticing how tense
Louis was and how red his face was getting and all he wanted to do was hug him
and kiss him until he relaxed but didn't knowing it would only cause the
opposite.
 
"If you hate seeing her cry just wait until we have to leave! Do you really
think she's gonna want to leave him behind? I swear you're so stupid when it
comes to her." Louis snapped missing the hurt expression flashing across
Harry's face.
 
"Love bug, time to eat. C'mon let's wash our hands." Harry said loud enough for
her to hear him turning around ignoring Louis walking back to the kitchen where
Logan was already waiting for him.
 
"Want to eat too?" Harry asked him not even looking his way.
 
"Sure." Louis sighed.
 
Louis followed Harry to the kitchen watching him carefully hold her up so she
could wash her hands while he did the same then after drying them with a paper
towel he set her down with a kiss to the forehead before she ran to sit eyeing
the plate of pizza in front of her licking her lips. Harry took another plate
out while Louis washed his hands then all three of them sat down eating in
complete silence except for Buttercup's small barks and Logan's giggles when he
wiggled his tail around.
 
"Sweetheart please don't feed him pizza, he has his own food." Harry said
noticing Logan trying to feed him a piece of pepperoni.
 
"But he's hungry." She insisted.
 
"He's not, he just ate and if you give him more food he's gonna get sick."
Harry calmly told her surprising Louis at how patient he was.
 
"Okay..." Logan frowned popping it into her mouth.
 
"Where did you ordered this from? It's delicious." Louis genuinely asked.
 
"I didn't ordered it, I made it from scratch and Logan helped me. Right bug,
you helped daddy." Harry took another bite.
 
"Mhm, I'm a big girl now." Logan nodded frantically.
 
Louis continued eating completely impressed by Harry's cooking skills and
observed him noticing he never glanced his way, he only glanced Logan's way and
sometimes he looked deep in thought with a faraway look. He looked down and
when he looked at him again he noticed Harry had tomato sauce right under his
bottom lip and seemed to not have noticed it yet.
 
"You have tomato sauce on your face." Louis said pointing to his own bottom
lip.
 
"Did I get it off?" Harry asked after he had tried to wipe it off.
 
"No, it's still there." Louis pointed out and out of instinct after four years
of doing it to Logan he reached out to wipe it off with his own napkin but
Harry quickly leaned backwards to avoid being touched by Louis and wiped it off
himself.
 
"Sorry..." Louis quickly apologized focusing on his pizza trying to ignore the
pang on his chest.
 
"It's okay, don't worry about it." Harry mumbled avoiding Louis' gaze.
 
It wasn't that he didn't wanted to be touched by Louis, he was dying to have
him in his arms and never let him go again but if he wanted to stop loving him
and move on then he needed to avoid him as much as he could and at the moment
he wasn't doing a great job. They ate in silence until it was time for Louis
and Logan to go and Harry was nervous thinking whether she would cry not
wanting to leave him behind.
 
"Bye love bug, I'll see your cute self tomorrow. I love yo so so much, to the
moon and back sunshine." Harry picked her up attacking her cheeks and forehead
with loud kisses.
 
"Say bye to Buttercup, he'll be waiting here for you tomorrow to play with
you." Harry put her down hoping she wouldn't cry feeling Louis' eyes on him
choosing to ignore him.
 
"Bye Buttercup Cocholate, I love you baby." Logan cooed petting his head while
he tried to lick her face.
 
"Buttercup Chocolate?" Louis asked.
 
"Yup, Buttercup Chocolate Styles. She wanted to name him number two so I had to
intervene there." Harry chuckled at the memory and Louis smiled at his
daughter's antics.
 
"Logan c'mon, we have to go love." Louis grabbed her bag and car seat.
 
"'Kay, bye daddy." Logan waved then skipped towards the front door humming
'don't bring me down'.
 
"Thanks for watching her. So...tomorrow same time?" Louis asked.
 
"Yeah. Have a good afternoon." Harry said unable to smile like he always did.
 
Harry kissed Logan one more time then they left leaving him glad that he had
Buttercup because he didn't feel so alone anymore, he walked to his room
texting Drew if he was available saturday night then went straight for another
shower before he settled on the couch watching Bee Movie cuddling with
Buttercup. The week passed by faster than Harry would've liked it because it
meant his days with Logan were almost over and he had to go back to work.
Everyday was the same, Louis would drop her off, they would go out to run some
errands or they would stay in and watch movies or play and sometimes when Liam
visited they would all go out to eat. Even though Louis still had his doubts
when it came to Harry he was slowly learning to trust him with Logan and didn't
feel that fear of Harry ever hurting Logan anymore.
 
Now that he was on his way to pick her up on her last day of Harry watching her
he remembered Harry's birthday was a week away and that meant Logan's was two
weeks away and he still hadn't talked to Harry about her birthday party he was
planning. He wondered if going back there was the right thing to do but quickly
washed that thought away when he realized that if Harry was going to be in
Logan's life then he needed to face all his fears and that included going back
to his childhood room that was now Lottie's but was still in his nightmares
either him hurting him or him spending time with Harry when he was nice. He got
out of the elevator and immediately heard the music coming from Harry's flat
and wondered what the hell were they doing now fearing the worst after what had
happened the day before when Harry had decided to bake cupcakes because Logan
had a craving and she asked him to and he had enlisted her help which ended up
with a giggling hyper little girl covered in flour jumping from couch to couch
and Harry didn't looked any better.
 
'You got me running going out of my mind, you got me thinking that I'm wasting
my time. Don't bring me down. No, no, no, no, no.' Louis heard both Harry and
Logan singing along at the top their lungs. He knocked once then used the
doorbell and when Harry didn't answered he hesitantly opened the door to find
them dancing ridiculously in the middle of the living room. He stood there
watching them with a tiny smile until the song was over and Harry turned around
still laughing but he quickly stopped when he saw Louis and as fast as he could
went to turn off the music.
 
"Hi Louis." Harry said watching Logan as she ran to Louis hugging his legs
telling him how much she missed him and loves him.
 
"Hey." Louis mumbled after he told her he missed and loves her too noticing
that ever since the pizza incident Harry had changed with him. Had he found
someone else already? Louis thought.
 
"Love why don't you go pack your stuff and play with Buttercup while I talk to
daddy." Louis smiled kissing the top of her head and patting her bum as she ran
to Harry's room to get her stuff.
 
"What did you wanted to talk about?" Harry asked trying to organize the living
room.
 
"Well I-" Louis stopped midsentence when he noticed Harry wasn't even looking
at him. "Could you at least look at me while I'm talking, this is important."
He snapped.
 
"I'm listening." Harry stopped what he was doing and sat down on the couch in
front of Louis.
 
"Logan's birthday is coming up and I'm gonna throw her a party at my mum's
place the fifteenth. I'm telling you this because I want you to go. I figured
your family wants to meet her so the sooner we do this the better." Louis said
waiting for Harry to respond.
 
"Yeah, I'll love to be there. Thanks for inviting me." Harry smiled at Louis
for the very first time since tuesday.
 
"Yeah..." Louis mumbled.
 
"Bye love bug, I love you." Harry smiled picking her up as soon as she walked
out of his room and kissed her before she kissed her dog and left waving at
him.
 
***
 
"Did you do anything fun?" Louis asked her as soon as they were in the car.
 
"Daddy curly played with me and Cocholate, we watched movies and helped daddy
with food." Logan mumbled sleepily.
 
Louis smiled and didn't say anything else and let her fall asleep figuring out
she must be tired after doing all that dancing, soon he was home putting her in
bed then sat down on the couch watching tv. Everything was quiet until there
was a loud knocking on the door and he quickly scrambled up to get it before it
could wake Logan up or else she'll be grumpy for the rest of the day.
 
"Tomlinson, we haven't seen you in forever!" Zayn exclaimed hugging him.
 
"I thought you guys were still at work." Louis smiled letting them in.
 
"We just got out and we wanted to see you. Where's my baby?" Eleanor asked
looking around.
 
"Asleep." Louis smiled hugging her then Niall.
 
"Is she sick?" Niall asked.
 
"No. Harry just has a thing for exhausting her." Louis walked back to the
living room plopping down on the couch.
 
"Harry?" Zayn asked trying not to roll his eyes.
 
"Yeah, Anna couldn't babysit for the whole week and you guys were all working
late and I had to find someone to watch her. I had no other choice but to leave
her with him all week." Louis sighed.
 
"How did it go?" Eleanor asked.
 
"Good, nothing bad happened to her. She's still in one piece so it was good."
Louis shrugged .
 
"Just spit it out Louis." Zayn demanded crossing his arms over his chest.
 
"She's been calling him daddy since monday and you guys better pack because I'm
having her birthday party at my mum's house the fifteenth."
 
"Well, her calling him daddy had to happen since she always asked for him
before he showed up and why are you having her party there?" Eleanor asked.
 
"Harry and his family already know she exists so what's the point of hiding
her, it's time for me to go back and face everything." Louis sighed eyeing his
three friends who were looking at him with a worried expression.
 
"Did you talk to Harry on sunday?" Niall asked.
 
"Yeah...didn't go too well if I'm honest." Louis said remembering what had
happened.
 
"Why, what happened?" Zayn sat up to listen closely to Louis.
 
"I told him he could only see her on the weekends but only if I was the one
around and he started asking why only those days and I told him I didn't
trusted him, he told me he would never hurt her but after all those beatings
and insults I don't trust him. I might be starting to trust him with her now
but not with me, every time I'm close to him I'm scared he'll hurt me again."
Louis began crying.
 
"It's okay LouLou, please don't cry." Zayn tried not to cry himself as he
reached to hug him.
 
"He said he was really sorry for everything he had done but I can't forgive
him, I want to but I can't. I can't. He said he still loves me and asked for
another chance and that we could be a family if I wanted to." Louis wiped away
the tears.
 
"What did you tell him?" Niall asked.
 
"I laughed and repeated those same things he told me that night and told him to
move on, find someone else, get married and have kids. He just said okay and
left, if he really loved me then he would've stayed." He mumbled playing with a
loose thread on his shirt.
 
"But that's what you wanted Louis, you told him you guys could never be
together and he respected your decision because that's what you told him you
wanted." Eleanor calmly said trying to soothe him.
 
"Yes I said that but that's not what I want, that's not what I want but his
apologies came too late and I just don't know what to do anymore." Louis
hiccuped.
 
"Fucking hell Louis William! If you love him then go get him, tell him how you
feel before it's too late and he finds someone new." Zayn said surprising
everyone.
 
"I thought you hated him." Louis mumbled.
 
"I do. I can't stand him but if you still love him and he loves you enough to
start a family then I'll try to be nice. I just don't wanna see you cry anymore
Lou." Zayn whimpered hugging him.
 
"I'm scared Zayn, he touched me once and I freaked out. I can't forget. He's
changed since that argument, he-he used to always be watching me but now he
ignores me and tries to avoid me as much as he can." Louis confessed.
 
"Oh Lou...don't you see he's doing that to get over you?" Eleanor said trying
to make Louis feel better but he only cried harder.
 
After ten minutes of him crying he finally calmed down enough to go to the
bathroom and shower while his friends were there to watch Logan for him, his
eyes and nose were less red than they had been before and once he was dressed
and ready to get out of the bathroom he remembered he still had to skin Niall
alive. He went back to the living room to see them all watching a movie and
decided to join.
 
"So last sunday after you all left I gave Logan frozen bananas but she said
that fucking shit was making her cold. I've been wondering where she could have
heard those words enough times for her to start repeating them." Louis said
looking at a nervous Niall.
 
"Eleanor said them! I told her to quit it but she just doesn't have a filter."
Niall immediately accused Eleanor.
 
"You filthy liar, that was you!" Eleanor exclaimed smacking his knee.
 
"Don't lie anymore!" Niall gasped covering his mouth with his hands watching
her with a horrified expression.
 
"I know it was you Niall, Logan told me." Louis laughed.
 
"That little traitor, I'm gonna tickle her until she pees herself." Niall
mumbled hiding his red face on Zayn's chest as he wrapped his arms around him.
 
"It's okay Niall, just don't say them again. I don't want her to have a potty
mouth or be using that kind of language when she meets Harry's family." Louis
laughed patting Niall's back realizing what he had just said finding it came
naturally for him to say it.
 
"Sorry about that Lou, sorry EllyEl." Niall smiled coming out of his hiding
place.
 
"Did she really said them? What-what did she said?" Zayn asked trying not to
laugh.
 
"This fucking bananas make me cold, I'm freezing. And this fucking shit makes
me cold daddy." Louis repeated what she had said and Zayn burst out laughing
with Niall and Eleanor following after.
 
"Daddy?" Logan mumbled walking towards Louis half asleep making grabby hands at
him.
 
"Hi love." Louis smiled picking her up placing her across his lap so she could
go back to sleep.
 
"Daddy I want Buttercup." She looked at Louis pleadingly putting her hand on
his cheek.
 
"Baby, Buttercup has to stay with Harry. You promised him remember?" Louis
reminded her.
 
"Oh." Logan shifted around until her eyes landed on Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor.
 
"Uncas, auntie!" She shouted launching herself at Zayn knowing he would always
catch her.
 
"Cupcake, I haven't seen you all week! I missed you." Zayn cooed hugging her
tight.
 
"I missed you too." Logan smiled.
 
"Monster! Come to uncle Niall who loves you with all his heart." Niall laughed
grabbing her and kissing her all over.
 
"Hi baby, may I ask who Buttercup is?" Eleanor asked reaching out to kiss her
cheek.
 
"My puppy." Logan giggled then wiggled out of Niall's arms and ran to sit down
in the middle of the living room.
 
"Harry got her a dog." Louis shrugged like it wasn't big deal he had gotten her
a real living one instead of a fake one from Toys R Us.
 
"He's gonna spoil her rotten." Eleanor smiled watching Logan with fondness.
 
"His family wanting to meet her is one of the reasons I'm having her party in
Doncaster." Louis bit his bottom lip fiddling with his fingers.
 
"They must be really excited, Anne, Gemma, and Robin are lovely people. They're
gonna love her Lou, it's hard not to." Zayn smiled reassuringly.
 
"Zayn, El and I are gonna go out to eat at this new restaurant and we want you
and Logan to go too. Please." Niall asked with wide baby blue eyes and a pouty
bottom lip that Louis just couldn't say not to.
 
"Of course we'll go. Is it fancy?"
 
"Dress casual but formal. You know what I mean?" Niall asked getting ready to
explain.
 
"Yes Niall, I know what you mean?" Louis smiled.
 
"Oh my God! I saw the cutest dress for Logan the other day and I got it for
her, I'll bring it over tomorrow." Eleanor beamed.
 
Louis smiled at her because if he didn't had her his daughter would probably be
dressed in rags or boyish since Louis had no clue as to what kind of clothes to
get her. His mother was back in Doncaster and Eleanor had been the one to teach
him how to do curly hair since none of his sisters had it like that and how to
dress her girly. Of course he didn't wanted her to be that girly and he was
lucky Zayn, Niall and himself balanced that out. He observed Logan and noticed
new habits she had probably picked up from Harry like grabbing her bottom lip
with her thumb and index finger and the way she shook her curls then adjusted
them back in out of her face just like Harry did.
 
"What happened to the curly I used to know, you let your mind out somewhere
down that road. Don't bring me down. No, no, no, no, no. I'll tell you once
more before I get off the floor. Don't bring me down." Logan sang out of
nowhere changing girl to curly.
 
"What have you two been listening to?" Zayn asked giving Louis an incredulous
look.
 
"Harry." Louis simply answered.
 
A few hours later after his friends had gone home Louis lay in bed half asleep
with Logan on top of his chest wanting but unable to stop thinking about Harry
and the possibility that he might be seeing someone and decided that if he was
then he wasn't going to let that person be around Logan. He was extremely
protective of his daughter and there was no way he would let a complete
stranger be around her. He was pulled out of his thoughts when his phone
vibrated on his night stand where he clumsily picked it up opening a text from
Harry and felt his heart swelling up when he read the text, Harry was just
asking him to please give her a hug and goodnight kiss for him since he wasn't
there to do it himself. He replied with an of course before putting the phone
down then he kissed the top of Logan's head wrapping his arms around her like
he had done the day she was born and held her for the very first time. He made
himself comfortable and fell asleep smiling a little hugging her tighter.
 
The next day Louis' day was hectic just like he had predicted it with Logan
running around and refusing to put pants on, he then had to wait for Eleanor to
show up with the dress and for her to do Logan's hair after she told him to
keep his hands off of it. A few hours later Eleanor showed up dressed in a
black dress a few inches above her knees and hair in flawless long waves
cascading over her back and shoulders.
 
"My God El, you look gorgeous." Louis smiled letting her in.
 
"Why thank you Mr. Tomlinson. You look very handsome yourself." Eleanor hugged
him then shoved him over to the side squealing when she saw a pantless Logan
running towards her.
 
"Auntie El, you're here!" Logan exclaimed jumping into her arms.
 
"Hi baby! Where are your pants lovely? C'mon, I'm gonna do your hair." She
smiled carrying her towards her room.
 
She quickly set her down on her bed and began doing her hair while Louis opened
the bag she had been carrying revealing a pink silk tartan dress with gathered
neckline,and a pleated skirt section with a tonal tie at the waist. Ever since
he had given birth to her and after finding out she was a girl he began to
appreciate girls clothes taking his time when picking what to buy for her.
After a while of whining and Louis scolding her to stay put Eleanor was finally
done and proud of the French braid headband she had braided around Logan's head
and after she was dressed in the dress and a black coat they finally made their
way to the restaurant taking Louis' car. The restaurant was busy when they
arrived and Zayn and Niall were already there waiting for them sitting on a
table for six.
 
"Sorry we're late." Louis said taking a seat on the edge of the table with
Logan sitting in between Eleanor and himself.
 
"Don't worry Lou, we just got here." Niall smiled.
 
"Well aren't you the cutest girl in this restaurant, wait...the cutest one in
England." Zayn teased making her giggle.
 
"Auntie El is pretty too." Logan giggled hiding her face on Louis' side as he
instinctively wrapped his arm around her.
 
They ordered their food and began eating making conversation and sometimes
laughing whenever Niall would say something funny or at one of Logan's antics
while Louis tried to keep her dress clean. He was laughing and looking down at
his food but when he looked up and looked across the room it quickly faded away
and he felt his chest tightening impossibly tight at the sight in front of him.
Harry was sitting across from them eating, smiling, laughing and holding hands
with a guy their age with green eyes and short blond hair.
 
He felt his eyes prickle with burning tears blurring his vision and his chest
hurting like never before when Harry reached out and kissed him right on the
lips then looked at him with what Louis thought was a lovingly look, a look
Harry never gave him and would never do. He looked back down then at his
friend's noticing their eyes flickering between Harry and himself and Eleanor
quickly wrapped her arm around his shoulders as Louis focused on Logan who was
eating her last piece of the chicken without a care in the world.
 
"We're done eating, we should go." Niall suggested motioning a waiter for the
check.
 
As soon as they payed Louis quickly scooped up Logan in his arms hiding her
face on the crook of his neck to keep her from seeing Harry while he tried to
fight the tears away and made his way outside but not before he locked eyes
with a surprised Harry who never took his eyes off of him and their daughter
while his date was busy asking for the check. Once they were outside Louis
cursed trying not to cry because they still had to wait for his car and he just
wanted to get out of there as soon as possible and all he could think about was
Harry kissing him.
 
"Louis." Louis froze when he heard his shaky voice and slowly turned around to
see Harry looking at him with his date talking to a man not too far behind him.
 
"Yes?" Louis asked shifting Logan on his hip and found it strange that she had
fallen asleep but remembered that she had missed her nap.
 
"How are you? Is she asleep?" Harry asked wanting to reach for her.
 
"Good. Yeah she is." Louis answered then flinched when Logan lifted her head up
to see Harry and was just about to reach for him murmuring daddy with a huge
smile when his date walked up to them intertwining his hand with Harry's
sending a wave of pain through Louis' chest and Logan's smile faded away and
went back to hiding her face on Louis' neck clinging to him.
 
"Love bug it's me, it's daddy." Harry said trying to coax her out but she only
tightened her grip on Louis and whimpered when Harry touched her with his free
hand.
 
"I'm sorry but she doesn't like strangers." Louis took a step back looking at
Harry's date.
 
"I'm not a stranger, I'm her dad." Harry let go of his date's hand and moved to
stand behind Louis to get a better look at her.
 
"You're not but he is." Louis whispered so only Harry could hear him then moved
and walked away from them after Eleanor called for him.
 
Harry watched as Louis walked away from him with Logan wanting to go after them
and his chest hurt when Logan looked at him and hid her face on Louis' neck
again. It hurt and it hurt a lot because his baby girl had rejected him and had
wanted nothing to do with him when she usually clung to him but he quickly
began getting angry at the thought that maybe Louis was filling her head with
bad things about him, he grabbed Drew's hand and walked away from there as fast
as he could wanting to punch everything on his path as Louis drove away tears
streaming down his face ignoring Eleanor's worried glances when all he could
think about was Harry kissing and holding hands with him.
Chapter End Notes
      [ photo PicsArt_1388534235534_zpsbc1880a0.jpg]
      
     http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     PicsArt_1388534235534_zpsbc1880a0.jpg
     Thoughts? :)
***** I pushed you down deep in my soul *****
Chapter Notes
     Don't hate me and grab a tissue. (I think)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Harry you need to calm down." Drew insisted after Harry had punched the wall
in his kitchen.
 
"He's brainwashing her, he's telling her bad stuff about me and now she doesn't
even want to acknowledge me." Harry growled on the verge of tears.
 
"I honestly don't think he's that kind of guy, he seemed harmless to me and I
don't think it's right for you to be assuming things about him. I don't think
he'll go that low to take her from you." Drew got up hugging Harry from behind.
 
"I told you he hates me Drew, he doesn't want me around Logan." Harry opened
and closed his injured hand.
 
"What did you do to make him hate you so much?" Drew asked kissing up and down
Harry's neck.
 
Harry immediately froze not really knowing how to answer him, he didn't wanted
him to judge him and leave him when they were just starting because of the
mistakes from his past. He wanted to tell him why Louis no longer loved him and
hated him with a passion but he was too ashamed to tell him the truth so he
lied.
 
"I was the biggest ass hole back then and I was horrible to him, he left
without telling me he was pregnant and I guess I didn't deserved to know we had
a daughter. I honestly don't deserve her." Harry sighed at the end getting out
of Drew's grasp to wash the blood away from his knuckles.
 
"As long as he keeps letting you see her you'll be fine and if he refuses you
can always claim joint custody." He suggested trying to be helpful.
 
"No, I don't want to and I'm not gonna do that. I'll give her my last name and
legally recognize her as my daughter the day Louis allows it." Harry knew that
day would never come because Louis would never allow it and even if he wanted
custody a judge would never grant her custody to a rapist like himself.
 
"Well I had a great night tonight." Drew mumbled walking up to Harry wrapping
his arms around his waist.
 
"Me too, we should do it again." Harry smiled kissing him.
 
He felt wrong kissing him but shrugged it off yet he couldn't stop comparing
him to Louis, he couldn't stop thinking that where he should feel curves he
could only feel slim hips. He pulled away opening his eyes expecting to see
bright blue ones but all he saw were green ones starting back at him.
 
"Are you okay?"
 
"Y-yeah, sorry about that whole punching the wall thing." Harry quickly
apologized.
 
"Don't worry about it. I have to go but I'll call you later." Drew smiled
kissing Harry one more time before he left.
 
As soon as he was gone Harry went to bed not even bothering to change into a
pair of pajamas or even take his clothes off, he thought about calling Louis to
ask him what had he done wrong but decided against it getting up to scoop up
Buttercup with him on the bed and cuddle with him immediately falling asleep
wishing he could fall asleep with Louis and Logan in his arms while Louis cried
himself to sleep alone in his own bed. The next day Harry spent the day trying
to contact Louis wanting to see their daughter and secretly him too but he
never answered driving Harry insane to the point where he too ignored everybody
even his mum and Gemma who no doubt would give him shit for it later.
 
*~*
 
Louis covered Logan with a blanket he was sure she hadn't rolled around on the
floor with and made sure she was comfortable in the position she was in before
he kissed her forehead and left her bedroom closing the door after himself
walking to the living room to watch tv to pass time while his daughter took a
nap. He looked at his cellphone going through the ten calls he had received
from Harry the day before and deleting all his text messages asking if they
were okay and if they needed something. Lucky for Louis he didn't had any
events scheduled for the week and allowed himself to relax with a cup of tea
watching Friends, he had already called Anna asking how her mum was doing and
that she didn't needed to come by during the week. He was starting to fall
asleep due to the silence surrounding him since he wasn't used to it anymore
ever since he became a father.
 
He smiled remembering the day he brought her home from the hospital and Niall
had cleaned up the whole flat muttering about how their princess needed to come
home to a clean house and not a pigsty like he had called it. Zayn had picked
him up from the hospital while Eleanor was out satisfying her girly needs
buying pink blankets, clothes and every thing pink she could find. She had
gotten home at the same time they did and together all four of them welcomed
Logan into her new home where she spent the first two and a half years of her
life while Zayn got everything on video, it wasn't easy for the first few
months because none of them especially Louis knew how to take care of a baby on
his own without his mum but together they managed.
 
He was brought back from his memory when he heard the doorbell and as soon as
he opened the door he tried closing it again when he saw Harry but Harry
quickly stuck his foot in to keep him from closing it.
 
"What do you want?" Louis asked trying to calm his nerves down.
 
"I just want to see Logan." And you. Harry quickly said biting his tongue to
keep himself from telling Louis he wanted to see him too.
 
"She's asleep, you can see her another day." Louis dismissed him and groaned
when Harry didn't even move an inch.
 
"I still want to see her, I promise I'm not gonna wake her up. Please." Harry
pleaded then smiled a little when Louis let him in.
 
"You better not wake her up or she'll be cranky all afternoon." Louis warned
him.
 
"I know, she's just like you when she's annoyed. Same temper." Harry muttered
walking into her room.
 
He quickly but quietly rushed over to her tiny body sprawled on the bed
snuggling with Mr. Curls and her thumb in her mouth something Louis had told
him to keep her from doing but when she was asleep he didn't had the heart to
take it out of her mouth knowing she'll pout for a bit then bring it back in,
he knelt down by her bed and watched her for a bit then kissed her forehead
whispering an I love you. He fixed her blanket and kissed her one more time
before he left the room quietly closing the door after himself then walked
towards Louis who was sitting on the couch watching tv and eating popcorn.
 
"She still asleep?" Louis asked him without looking his way.
 
"Yes." Harry snapped making Louis turn to look at him with furrowed eyebrows.
 
"Jeez, calm down Styles. What crawled up your ass and died there." Louis said
knowing Harry wouldn't touch a hair in his head like he used to back then
whenever Louis talked back to him.
 
"Harry took a deep breath trying to control his anger, "Have you been talking
crap about me to Logan?"
 
"Excuse me?" Louis almost yelled getting up to stand in front of Harry.
 
"You're trying to make her hate me, that's why she was scared of me saturday
night. I didn't know you could be so low." Harry glared down at Louis trying to
control himself and not cry because honestly he didn't know Louis anymore.
 
"First of all don't fucking talk to me like that ever again you understand,"
Louis stabbed Harry's chest with his finger. "Second, I have no idea what the
fuck you're talking about. I never said anything to her about you."
 
"Don't lie to me, she's my daughter and you're not gonna take her away from
me." Harry glared towering over Louis but this time Louis wasn't scared like he
used to, he was pissed.
 
"Don't be ridiculous! Nobody's taking her from you, she was scared of that guy
you were with." Louis yelled pushing Harry away from him.
 
"He didn't even tried to talk to her, why would she be scared. She likes
everybody." Harry spoke.
 
"I don't know, she's usually not like that and I know she likes everybody. I
didn't tell her anything." Louis insisted.
 
"I'm sorry...I just...You hate me and I thought...I'm sorry Louis." He looked
down unable to meet Louis' gaze ashamed of himself.
 
"I didn't tell her anything even if you deserve it. I'm not like that Harry and
you should know that better than anyone, I wouldn't fill her head with nasty
things." Louis walked closer to Harry trying to make him look at him.
 
Harry willed the tears away and looked up only to have his breath knocked out
of him when he looked straight into Louis' blue eyes only a few inches away
from his, they weren't the same cheerful ones anymore they looked clouded with
sadness but they were still as beautiful as he remembered them before he ruined
them. In that moment Harry didn't know what possessed him but he did it anyways
unable to stop and if he had the chance he would do it over and over again and
never get tired of it. He softly, slowly, and carefully grabbed Louis' face
with the tips of his fingers feeling like if he grabbed too rough Louis would
break at any moment then slowly leaned in as his eyes flickered between his
blue eyes and his lips.
 
He slowly and gently captured his lips with his own making Louis gasp because
he had finally seen it, he had finally seen that look on Harry's face he had
always longed to get except this time it was directed at him. It wasn't
anything like he had seen at the restaurant, no, this one was tender and full
of love and adoration and at that point Louis only knew one thing. Harry was
kissing him and he was kissing him back as he slowly placed his hand on Harry's
cheek encouraging Harry to deepen the kiss caressing his cheeks with his thumbs
making him shiver. Harry could feel Louis' soft warm lips on his while Louis
could feel Harry's rough yet soft and warm ones on his mingling together in
what Louis would call their first ever true and proper kiss that was pure in
his eyes.
 
Flashbacks began hitting him like a train, his happy days with Harry when they
used to roll down that hill behind their houses laughing the whole way down
knowing they would get yelled at by their mothers for staining their clothes
with the grass but not caring because they were happy and no one could take
that away from them. They began shifting into the horrible ones where Harry
would beat him and finally that night and then his entire pregnancy ending with
her birth, all of them flashing across his mind in seconds and mustering all
the strength he had in him he pushed Harry away as the sound of skin making
contact with skin echoed around the room. Harry stared at Louis in shock with a
hand wrapped around his now red and stinging cheek watching a crying wide eyed
Louis who still had a trembling hand up in the air.
 
"I-I deserved that, I'm sorry." Harry whispered.
 
"Just...please just get out of my life Harry, I can't do this anymore." Louis
cried sinking down to the ground bringing his knees up to his chest, all those
feelings of wanting to be loved by him and love him coming back stronger than
ever making him sob harder unable to stop.
 
Harry began crying watching a broken Louis crying on the ground and once again
he was the one to blame because he had been the one to break him in the first
place and no matter how hard he tried he was still and would always be hurting
him even if he didn't mean it. He knelt down in front of Louis and sobbed
harder when right there he made the hardest decision knowing how much he was
going to miss them, he knew he would never see or hear from them again but it
was for the best and for once in his life he put aside all his feelings and put
them first other than himself.
 
"I-I promise you this is the last time you will see or hear from me, I won't
hurt you anymore Louis." Harry wiped the tears away.
 
"W-what?" Louis asked looking up at him wearing a confused expression.
 
"I'm leaving...I-I'll leave you alone. I'll get out of your life and never
bother you anymore, I won't make you suffer ever again." Harry slowly got up
and walked towards the door not noticing Louis was following him until he
spoke.
 
"Are you seriously going to leave her? You're not even gonna say goodbye? What
makes you think you can just come into her life, tell her you're her father and
then leave her like she means nothing to you." Louis glared getting angry at
him for thinking he could just come into her life then leave.
 
"She means a lot to me, she's my daughter...our daughter, she's my world and if
I go in there again I know I'll never be able to leave her. She'll forget about
me soon but I won't, I will always love her with all my heart and she will
never leave my mind. I know you hate me, I know you don't love me anymore and I
get it, I accepted it that night you told me we could never be together but
know that I will always love you, more than you will ever know. Goodbye Angel."
Harry opened the door and stepped out closing the door after him not looking
back even if it killed him leaving Louis standing alone trying to process
everything.
 
Tears escaped his eyes when Harry had used his old nickname for him from when
they were friends, the nickname he hadn't called him in six years. "HazzaBear,
I still love you..." He whimpered staring at the now empty space where Harry
had just been standing.
 
Harry ran all the way to his car and as soon as he was safe inside he cried
louder than ever feeling the ache on his heart growing and growing the more he
put distance between Louis, their daughter and himself. He drove ignoring
Drew's phone calls and his building when he passed it and instead headed to
Liam's flat, he needed to talk to someone before it was time for him to go. He
parked his car and slowly got out walking slowly to Liam feeling his limbs
getting heavier and heavier the more he walked, as soon as Liam opened his door
he broke down again throwing himself into his arms as Liam pulled him inside
whispering comforting words to try and calm him down.
 
"I-I'll never see them a-again Liam, I'll never get to watch her grow up and
I'll never get to make it up to him." He sobbed wrapping his arms around
himself.
 
"Harry you need to calm down, breathe...now tell me what happened." Liam sat
next to him rubbing his back.
 
"I'm only hurting him if I stay, that's all I ever do even if I don't mean it.
It's best if I get out of their lives, act like I haven't seen him ever since
he left and pretend I don't know I have a daughter even if it kills me because
that's the worst thing I could do but I can't keep hurting him anymore that's
why I have to leave Liam." Harry hicupped wiping the tears with his sleeve.
 
"Harry you can't do that, you can't just show up into her life telling her
you're her other father then leave like she means nothing to you." Liam tried
to reason with him.
 
"She means a lot to me, I would give up my life for her in a heartbeat. Don't
you dare say I don't care about her because I do but I just can't keep fucking
everything up, I can't keep hurting him. I love him too much to keep doing that
and he doesn't want me around, if I go now it will be much easier for her to
forget about me. If I leave England it will be much easier for me to resist
going back to see them." Harry brought his knees up to his chest.
 
"Where are you gonna go? What about her birthday party? Your family wants to
meet her." Liam insisted.
 
"Sydney, Australlia. They can still meet her if Louis wants them around, I'll
come back in a week so we can spend my birthday together like I promised."
Harry tried to smile but failed when he burst out crying again.
 
"Okay then...I'm gonna miss you." Liam sighed wrapping his arms around Harry.
 
"Could you do me a favor?"
 
"Anything you want Haz."
 
"Could you-could you take Logan's puppy to her after I leave?" Harry fiddled
with his hair.
 
"Of course, what do you want me to tell them?"
 
"Just that he's hers and I couldn't take him away from her and that I'll love
her and I'm gonna miss her." He took a shaky breath at the end.
 
As soon as Harry got home he packed a suitcase with enough clothes for a week
calling to book an airplane ticket while he did so, once he was done he put
Buttercup's stuff in the bag he and Logan had specifically gotten for him then
taking one last look at his flat and the pile of toys in the corner of the
living room he left locking the door and got on his car driving towards Liam's
flat to drop the dog off holding him close to him because at the moment it was
the only thing he had of Logan's that soon he will have to leave too. He had
called Drew to let him know where he was going and that he'll be back in a week
or so just so he wouldn't call during the week, he needed to be alone. He
boarded the plane trying not to think about Louis but failing as he tried to
find his seat, he gave up trying not to think and two hours later he fell
asleep wishing like always that he would've done things differently clutching
his phone close to his chest where Logan's picture that he had taken that day
during breakfast was lightning up the screen before it went off.
 
*~*
 
Knowing that Harry was finally out of their lives should've had Louis feeling
relieved and happy but instead all he felt was emptiness, he could still feel
the warmth of Harry's lips against his own now cold ones and couldn't help but
let his fingers trace them wanting to feel his lips on his own again. He began
wondering whether what Elena, his therapist had told him years back was true
because back then when he didn't want to believe it until she made him see even
though it was still fresh in his mind and he had been carrying her.
 
He was already seven months pregnant sitting on the couch in his therapists
office with Niall waiting outside for him to take him to a doctor's appointment
to check on the baby right after he was done with his session.
 
"How are you and the baby doing?" Eleanor quietly asked Louis who had his gaze
down rubbing small circles on the top of of his mountain of a belly with his
right thumb.
 
"We're good...it moves every time I rub my belly." Louis answered avoiding eye
contact with her.
 
"Are you excited to hold him or her?" She asked.
 
"Not really...I mean...sometimes I do and sometimes I don't." He answered
wincing a little rubbing the spot where his baby had kicked him quite hard as
if his words had hurt its feelings.
 
"And why is that?" Elena asked wanting him to let it all out.
 
"You know why! This fucking thing wasn't exactly conceived in a good way, I
didn't asked for it." Louis snapped getting tired of her bullshit questions and
immediately began regretting calling his baby a fucking thing.
 
Elena sighed observing the way Louis wrapped his arms around himself to keep
himself from falling apart then his hands hovered over his swollen belly trying
to decide whether it was a good idea to touch it or not then after thinking it
through for a few seconds he finally spread his hands over it smiling.
 
"Are you still having those dreams?"
 
"Yes but they're not the same, it used to be what happened that night but now
it's him stealing my baby and I always try to go after him and get my baby back
but I never catch him. He-he tells me he loves me and I tell him that I do too
but then he takes my baby, Zayn thinks I'm dreaming that because I'm closer to
my due date." Louis explained grabbing one of the couch pillows to hide his
belly from Elena's view.
 
"How do you feel about him after you wake up?" Elena asked glancing at the
clock finding out she had ten minutes left with him.
 
"How is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?" Louis asked
finally making eye contact with her.
 
"Louis...do you hate him or do you hate what he did to you?" She asked putting
her notebook down watching Louis chewing on his bottom lip.
 
Louis remembered thinking about it long and hard, it took him seven minutes to
get his answer and when he figured it out he looked up at her tightening his
arms around his belly and answered. He answered as honestly as he could and
four years later now he was wondering why had he gone back to feeling like
before, thinking like before that day when she helped him realize how he really
felt.
 
"...I hate what he did to me." Louis whispered letting a single tear fall.
 
Taking a deep breath Louis decided to put everything aside and try to at least
tolerate Harry, stop with everything like his said hate for him when he really
did not hated him at all for Logan's sake. He still wasn't ready to forgive him
but the past was the past, he wanted to call Harry but decided against it since
he was sure Harry would never leave their daughter behind and decided to call
him the next day. He was still deep in thought sitting on the couch he didn't
noticed Logan walking out of her room until she crawled on his lap getting
under the blanket wrapping her arms around his torso holding onto his shirt
with her hands when she couldn't reach around him resting her head on his chest
sighing in contempt.
 
Louis immediately wrapped his arms around her kissing her forehead cradling her
close to him just like when she was a baby and he would sit down on the couch
with her watching tv just the two of them. He brushed her hair with his fingers
smiling down at her when she yawned and began playing with a loose thread of
his old t-shirt then set her tiny hand on his cheek looking up at him like he
was her world.
 
"Love you daddy." She smiled snuggling closer to Louis.
 
"I love you too sweetheart, Daddy will always love you no matter what." Louis
smiled bringing his knees up laying down on his side with Logan in his arms
watching cartoons.
 
The next day Louis could hear Rapunzel and Flynn singing from the tv in the
living room while he was in the kitchen making lunch and trying to call Harry
but failing when it went to voicemail every time. He had tried one more time
when he decided it was enough and he would call later after Logan was done
eating after she had been the one to ask where her daddy curly and Buttercup
were and that she needed to cuddle and play with them because she hadn't in a
very long time. He had just put some macaroni and cheese on two plates when
Logan walked in dragging her blanket behind her hugging Mr. Curls close to her.
 
"Daddy, is daddy curly coming?" She asked looking up at him while sucking on
her thumb.
 
Louis bent down and slowly took her thumb out of her mouth wanting to make her
get rid of that habit before he spoke, "I don't know baby but we'll call him
again later okay."
 
"Why not now?" She smiled bringing her thumb back in her mouth and Louis just
gave up for the day.
 
"Because I just called him and he didn't answered, he's probably at work."
Louis explained fixing one of her braids that was starting to get loose.
 
"One more time daddy, please." Logan pleaded grabbing Louis' cheeks with her
sticky hands pinching them with her fingers.
 
"Okay." Louis smiled reaching out to grab his phone from the counter calling
Harry right in front of her, he kissed her cheek and she wrapped her arms
around his neck while he waited to see if Harry would pick up this time but
frowned at what he heard.
 
"We're sorry, the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected and is
no longer in service." Came the woman's voice through the speaker and Louis
hung up then called again only to receive the same message.
 
He felt numb and cold all over, all he could hear was a tiny voice echoing
around his head until it became clear and clearer and he looked down to see
Logan pulling on his sweater chanting daddy over and over to get his attention.
He forced a smile and set his phone down on the counter then picked her up
along with the plate of food and walked over to the table putting both of them
down grabbing a wet wipe to wipe Logan's hands then she began eating with her
fingers, Louis ignoring it as millions of thoughts raced through his head. He
grabbed his phone and rushed to his room closing the door after him and sat
down on the bed calling Harry receiving the same message over and over again as
the tears began to flood his eyes, all he wanted was to hear his stupid voice
answering the damn phone but instead the same woman would and he was starting
to hate her.
 
He slowly got up and walked back to the kitchen sitting down next to Logan
eating his food without a word, Harry was gone. He jumped a bit at the sound of
the doorbell and soon after he could hear a puppy baking and Logan screaming
daddy curly at the top of her lungs getting off of her chair as fast as she
could running towards the door. Louis walked towards the door to see Logan
jumping up and down trying to reach for the handle to open the door as he took
deep breaths walking closer deciding that they needed to talk, he was nervous
because of what had happened the night before and relieved that Harry was on
the other side of the door and hadn't left and had probably gotten a new phone
but once he opened the door he only faced disappointment.
 
"Unca Leeyum!" Logan smiled hugging his leg then trying to reach for Buttercup
and Liam quickly gave him to her and watched as she ran back inside with the
dog following after her.
 
"Hi." Liam gave Louis a sad smile.
 
"Hi...come in." Louis moved to let him in then closed the door turning around
to face him.
 
"I just came to drop him off."
 
"Why? I thought he was supposed to stay with Harry. Is he okay, is there
something wrong? Liam where's Harry?" Louis asked beginning to panic thinking
of the millions of scenarios where Harry had gotten into an accident last night
or done what he said he would as he eyed the bag Liam was holding.
 
"He's gone Louis, he left the country last night and asked me if I could bring
Buttercup to Logan. He said he's hers and couldn't take him away from her."
Liam explained looking at Louis' expresionless face.
 
"Unca Leeyum, where's daddy curly?" Logan asked pulling on Liam's pants.
 
Liam bent down and played with one of her braids as he racked his brain for
something to tell her. "Daddy curly had to go away but he told me to tell you
that he loves you so so much and he's gonna miss you so much, that he'll never
forget you. He also said that if daddy Louis says yes then Buttercup can live
with you now." Liam tried to smile poking her belly to make her smile but she
didn't.
 
"When's he coming back?" She asked placing her hands on his shoulders.
 
"I don't know marshmallow, I don't know when he's coming back here." Liam
looked at her then at Louis, she smiled a little and went back to the living
room where they could hear her cooing at Buttercup that daddy was coming back
to get him.
 
"He's not coming back is he?" Louis quietly asked trying to keep his voice from
trembling.
 
"He doesn't want to hurt you anymore, last night he decided to leave and today
I tried calling him but I think he disconnected his phone. This is the dog's
stuff." Liam gave Louis the bag.
 
"Do you know where he is, is he gonna comeback?" Louis desperately asked
surprising himself and Liam at his desperation.
 
"Australia...he'll be back in a week." Louis felt relieved at hearing those
words but what Liam said next broke his heart all over again. "Last thing he
said when I dropped him off at the airport was that he's coming but only to
pack his stuff and sell his flat...he's moving to Australia Louis." He looked
down at his shoes.
 
"He can't move! What about his kid, does he even care about her? I know I said
I wanted him out of my life but I was just upset, I didn't wanted him to leave
much less move." Louis snapped trying not to cry.
 
"Of course he cares about her and you, she's his world. You should've seen him
when he told me he was leaving, he thinks it's for the best. He loves you both
and doesn't want to hurt you anymore, it hurts him to be away from her and you
but he said he was done hurting you...said he couldn't do it anymore." Liam
explained.
 
"When he comes back...could you-could you call me and let me know? Please?"
Louis mumbled.
 
"Yeah. I have to go but I'll call you when he gets back." Liam smiled texting
himself on Louis' phone he had given him then walked towards the door leaving.
 
Louis stood there for a few seconds then went to check on Logan who was in the
kitchen finishing her food, he sat down next to her and continued eating his
own food in complete silence as the thought that he had driven Harry away and
had taken his daughter's curly plagued his mind. He chewed his food knowing
there was no way he was going to let him get away, he was stuck with them now
and he was going to make him stay no matter what.
Chapter End Notes
     IMPORTANT: So I thought about writing like a prequel one shot based
     on Louis and Harry's friendship before it all went to hell and
     another one that focuses on both of their lives while Louis was
     pregnant but I'm gonna write them once I complete the story. :)
      [ photo tumblr_inline_mqf8iaKrCu1qz4rgp_zps1b32556f.gif]
     I don't even know if the gif fits the chapter. Lol
     Thoughts?
***** They say it's what you make I say it's up to fate *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Two days had passed and Logan wouldn't stop asking for Harry even though Louis
always managed to change the subject and distract her but not before telling
her that he was going to make him come back but it always went back to the same
'where's daddy curly?' and honestly it was starting to frustrate Louis. He was
sitting on the couch with his three friends after he had told them everything
when Logan came in running from her room followed by Buttercup and stopped in
front of Louis placing her small childish hands on his thighs supporting her
body weight on them while Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor watched them with curiosity.
 
"When's daddy curly coming back, where is he? Me and baby miss him." Logan
asked referring to her puppy as her baby as she tightened her grip on his
thighs.
 
"He's not coming back." Louis simply said crossing his arms over his chest
surprising the three other adults.
 
"Yes he is...You said he is daddy." Logan whimpered as her eyes filled with
tears that quickly rolled down her chubby cheeks.
 
"He's not." Louis argued just wanting her to stop asking once and for all
because he himself wasn't sure if Harry would come back even after talking to
him and the guilt of taking him away from her and keeping him from watching her
grow up kept growing and growing every time she asked for him.
 
"Yes he is!" She screamed lifting her little hand up into the air then brought
it back down hitting one of his thighs as hard as she could while crying.
 
He doesn't even know how it happened but suddenly he had his hands around her
shoulders shaking her back and forth as her cries and Buttercup's barks got
louder pulling on his jeans with his small teeth, he could feel the tears
streaming down his cheeks but all he could feel was a deep anger running
through his body. He was angry at himself for making him leave and angry at him
for leaving them when he thought he would never do that.
 
"He's not, he's never coming back. He left us-you, your father left you. Stop
crying dammit!" Louis shouted then she was snatched out of his grip and he
could see an angry Zayn picking her up and hugging her tight against his chest
while she sobbed trying to catch her breath.
 
"Louis calm down." Niall almost shouted grabbing both of his wrists pushing him
back on the couch.
 
"Louis...What...." Eleanor whimpered looking back and forth between father and
daughter because he had never acted that way towards her.
 
"What is wrong with you!? It's not her fault...none of this is her fault." Zayn
hissed trying to calm her down feeling her tears landing on the crook of his
neck then rolling down to his collarbones.
 
Louis' eyes widened after he had calmed down and tears started flooding his
cheeks even more staring at Zayn rubbing her back whispering words to her he
couldn't hear, he had done something he swore he would never do. He had made
her cry and raised his voice when she had nothing to do with his differences
with Harry. He looked at Niall then at Eleanor who was crying and finally at
Zayn who was looking at him with a concerned expression, taking a deep breath
he slowly got up and reached for her wanting to hold her and comfort her
himself even if he had been the one to make her cry like that. Zayn sighed but
gave her to him and Louis' heart broke when she whimpered holding onto Zayn
tighter when she felt his hands around her, he finally had her in his arms and
quickly made a beeline for his room closing the door sitting down on his bed
with her on his lap.
 
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby I'm sorry. Daddy curly's coming back here, I
promise. I'll make him comeback...please don't cry, please don't cry." Louis
hugged her close rocking her back and forth peppering her face with kisses
wiping her tears away with his thumbs and he noticed he was still crying when
she pecked his nose and began wiping his tears away too.
 
He kissed her one more time than laid down on the bed pulling her on top of his
chest hugging her tightly rubbing her small back and humming a lullaby until
she calmed down and fell asleep. After what had happened there was no way he
was gonna let Harry go and forget about their daughter, he was going to get him
to stay no matter what because he was stuck with her and himself included
whether he liked it or not even if all they could ever be were two people who
were civil enough with each other for the sake of their child. He pecked the
top of her head and slowly rolled to his side and got up putting a blanket over
her and left his room going back to the living room where they were still
waiting for him and he couldn't help but notice the looks Zayn was giving him.
 
"I know, I'm an ass hole." He mumbled sitting down tucking his legs under his
bum.
 
"What was that?" Zayn asked surprising Louis at how calm he was.
 
"It's just that she's been asking non-stop for him and I don't know what to
tell her anymore, he left her because of me and I just didn't know what to tell
her anymore. I can't exactly tell her 'oh, daddy and I kissed and I freaked out
so I told him to leave and never come back' I can't do that. I don't care what
I have to do but he's not moving to Australia." Louis said determined to not
let him get away.
 
"I could help you." Eleanor spoke for the first time.
 
"How?" Louis asked.
 
"I know his birthday's coming up, do you guys still have all those videos of
Logan because we're gonna need them and know that I'm only doing this for her."
Eleanor raised an eyebrow.
 
"They're in my safe box along with Niall's." Zayn admitted and blushed when
everyone laughed.
 
"What? They're precious and you guys better not ruin them, I'm gonna make a
video with all of them and show it at her wedding. Oh and Louis don't worry,
I'll give you the copies you asked for." Zayn sighed.
 
"Finally...I asked a year ago." Louis muttered.
 
"I think you should gather all her baby pictures you might want him to have,
her pictures always work wonders and it will also show him you want him in her
life permanently." Niall suggested.
 
Zayn and Eleanor drove back to their flats and came back with all the videos
they had of her while Niall helped Louis bring his own out and look for
pictures of her to give to Harry. It was late when they finished but they
finished nonetheless and hugging each other goodbye they left leaving Louis
alone as he went to bed bringing Logan and Buttercup close to him. The next day
Louis woke up expecting Logan to wake up asking for Harry but she never did and
he shrugged it off thinking she was just distracted with Buttercup who he was
already very fond of. By the time he had put Logan to bed he went to bed
knowing she never asked for him once throughout the whole day wondering if it
was his fault but ignored it since she was going to see him in two days, that's
if Liam even called him by the time Harry was back.
 
Friday night Louis was a nervous mess and the fact that Logan kept climbing all
over him, clinging to him then running everywhere wasn't helping at all, he
loved her to death but sometimes he just needed her to take a break and sit
down.
 
"Logan Hunter please stop running, you're gonna fall and...see? What did I tell
ya?" Louis sighed getting up to pick up a crying Logan from the floor as she
held onto her knee crying louder when Louis lifted her up.
 
"Where does it hurt love?" Louis asked sitting back down on the couch checking
her face, back, arms and legs placing them on either side of his thighs so he
could check for injuries and comfort her better.
 
"Here!" She wailed holding onto her knee keeping Louis from touching it when he
tried to look at it.
 
"Let me see, baby I can't see if you don't move your hand." He moved her hands
to see a small patch of red skin figuring out she just had burned it and given
herself a rash with the rug, he blew a little bit of air into it then kissed it
okay.
 
"See? All better love, it's okay." Louis soothed her hugging her close to his
chest running his fingers through her thick messy curls.
 
"Daddy down." She wiggled out of Louis' arms to go back with her puppy and as
soon as she was down she ran and plopped down near her box of toys playing with
him.
 
"Logan? Do you wanna see daddy curly?" Louis asked trying to prepare her to see
him again.
 
"No. It's 'arry not daddy, he went bye bye." She shrugged picking up a baby
doll then put it back down after losing interest on it.
 
Louis frowned and was about to say something to her when his phone vibrated and
he answered it without checking who it was when he was still looking at Logan
trying not to feel guilty at the thought that she wasn't calling him daddy
anymore but by his name.
 
"Hello?"
 
"Louis it's Liam. I was just calling you to let you know that Harry's flight
will land at around six in the morning and we're gonna have a get together for
his birthday at his flat at around six tomorrow night, you should ask Zayn,
Niall, and Eleanor to come too. It'll just be him and I...that's how he wanted
it but this is your chance to talk to him." Liam quickly said taking a deep
breath at the end.
 
"He called you? I-I thought he disconnected his cellphone." Louis stuttered.
 
"He called me from the airport last night, said something about getting a new
phone once he's back because he dropped his old one in the water and had to
disconnect it." Liam said making Louis feel better knowing Harry never
disconnected his phone just to avoid them.
 
"Are you sure it's okay if we go, what if he gets mad?" Louis nervously asked
following Logan with his eyes as she walked around the living room taking her
pants off.
 
"I'm sure he won't...He misses her you know. He misses you too and I told him I
had a surprise for him so I know he won't be mad." Liam assured him.
 
"Okay then...I'll see you there and thanks for calling me." Louis said and hung
up after Liam did then called his three friends to ask them which Eleanor
quickly accepted as well as Niall except Zayn who put up a fight but at the end
Louis managed to convince him.
 
"Baby, time for your bath." Louis announced getting up to get her bath ready.
 
She quickly ran to her bathroom and took the rest of her clothes off with
Louis' help since he had to unbutton a few buttons on the back of her shirt and
shivered for a bit once she was in the water but it quickly went away as soon
as she started playing with her toys ignoring the small yellow rubber duck like
always. While he cleaned her hair he wondered if going to Harry's flat and
giving him what they had made for his birthday was even a good idea but it
quickly faded away when he realized it wasn't about him anymore but about
Logan. He wanted her to grow up knowing who her other father was, knowing Harry
and having him in her life in a proper father-daughter relationship. He quickly
washed her body and rinsed all the soap off of her when she began shivering
again then wrapped her up in her towel walking out of the bathroom almost
tripping over Buttercup who had developed the habit of following around anyone
who had Logan in their arms.
 
"Daddy I'm sleepy." Logan yawned resting her head against Louis' stomach
closing her eyes while he tried to untangle her hair without pulling too much.
 
"Just a little bit more, I'm almost done then you can sleep." Louis mumbled.
 
Soon enough after she was dressed she had fallen asleep without her bedtime
story and Louis only kissed her goodnight mumbling a quiet sleep tight to
Buttercup who had fallen asleep by Logan's feet. He went to bed after showering
and woke up again feeling like he had only slept for a few minutes but when he
looked at the clock it was already six in the morning and began to feel nervous
knowing that Harry was probably already back in his flat trying to decide what
to pack first making his chest feel a little bit tight. He turned around to his
other side facing the door to get more comfortable letting out a gasp when he
saw Logan standing by his bed barely holding Buttercup and Mr. Curls letting
out tiny yawns trying to keep her eyes open waiting for Louis to notice her.
 
"Love why aren't you in your bed?" Louis groggily asked reaching for the dog
putting him on the bed then picked her up and set her on his lap as he
accommodated himself into a sitting position against the headboard.
 
"I sleep with you daddy." Logan yawned snuggling closer to Louis.
 
"Okay then." Louis smiled moving around to lay down again with her in his arms.
 
"Is 'arry never coming back daddy?" She asked startling him with her loud
voice."
 
"Yes. We're gonna go see daddy curly later today with your uncles and auntie
El." Louis answered not bothering to open his eyes.
 
"Daddy why? 'Arry went bye bye." Logan insisted poking Louis' cheek.
 
"Daddy curly went bye bye but he's back now and it's his birthday today. Don't
you wanna sing happy birthday to him?" Louis asked moving a sleeping puppy from
his pillow putting him in the other.
 
"Yess, I color a pretty picture for him okay."
 
"All the pretty pictures you want sweetheart." Louis yawned.
 
The next time he woke up again it was almost nine finding Logan sitting next to
him coloring a picture of Woody and Buzz Lightyear from the coloring book that
had Harry's name on it and his eyes widened when he saw his white sheets
stained with different colors from her crayons littering the bed. He wanted to
scold her but couldn't when she gave him a toothy grin and proudly told him she
was coloring a pretty picture for her Harry. He stayed in bed with her helping
her color by giving her the correct crayons telling her what color they were
then watched her wearing a tiny smile as she tried to write 'From Logan to
daddy curly' copying it from a separate sheet of paper where Louis had written
it down for her and smiled wider when he saw she had gotten some of the letters
kinda right but the rest were just squiggly lines that made no sense at all but
the message was still there.
 
"Do you want pancakes for breakfast?" Louis asked her as she tried to write
'happy birthday' poking her little tongue out furrowing her brows in
concentration.
 
"Yes....please and thank you daddy." She quickly said writing the last squiggly
line then smiled widely showing the picture to Louis.
 
"That's a beautiful picture love, I'm sure daddy curly's gonna love it." Louis
smiled picking her and the dog up taking them to the kitchen where she quickly
put the picture down on the countertop to keep it safe.
 
He put The Incredibles on DVD and while she watched the movie he busied himself
with mixing the batter then making the pancakes trying to keep them from
burning as he often did when he had too much on his mind and after he was done
they sat down to eat them as Logan babbled about her picture to Harry and how
she was going to sing to him the happy birthday song. The days passed by
quickly and before he knew he was ready and trying to wrestle Logan into a pair
of warm leggings she claimed made her legs itchy until Louis got his way and
soon enough she was sitting on her bed with her legs under her bum pouting
angrily as Louis fixed her curls putting on a light pink bow without her
noticing because she simply hated them on her head but loved to do everyone
else's hair with them. He had just helped her out put on her boots and her coat
when he heard the doorbell then Zayn shouting it was open before he rushed over
to Logan to give her a big kiss and compliment her. Niall and Eleanor walked in
behind him each holding a small present to give to Harry not wanting to be
disrespectful and Louis noticed Zayn's name on the tag of Niall's present
figuring out Niall must've put it there.
 
"You ready Lou?" Eleanor asked grabbing the small package containing Harry's
gift while Logan had her picture on her small hands not taking her eyes off of
it in fear of losing it or something.
 
"Yeah...let's go." Louis took a deep breath putting his coat on and moving to
grab Logan's hand but ended up carrying her when she refused to let go of the
picture.
 
They piled up in Louis' car and stayed silent through out the ride with the
occasional giggles from Logan when Zayn kept poking her stomach then her cheeks
until they got bored and decided to sing You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy
Story as loud as they could with Eleanor joining in halfway through the song.
Louis found a parking spot and took the package from Eleanor while Zayn
unblocked Logan and placed her on his hip, as soon as they were outside Harry's
flat Louis' heart was beating fast against his chest and his hands were sweaty.
He smiled when Logan sighed loudly and began knocking on the door when she
figured out no one was gonna do it and kept knocking until Liam opened the door
and smiled widely at her then at the four adults.
 
"Unca Leeyum look what I did for my 'arry!" She smiled trying to show him the
picture.
 
"That's a beautiful picture marshmallow." Liam praised taking her from Zayn who
had a hard time giving her to him wondering if it was okay then did when she
eagerly went to him.
 
"It's nice to see you all again and thanks for coming, come in. Harry's still
getting ready please take a seat." Liam smiled as Niall, Zayn and Eleanor
looked around and Louis' chest tightened when he saw that half the picture that
used to be on his walls were now in a box in the corner of the living room
waiting to be packed up next to the toys Harry had gotten for their daughter so
she could have her own toys to play with whenever she would come over.
 
"Li, who was it at the door? Is Drew already here, he said he was running a
little bit late." Harry asked walking in buttoning his shirt up while Louis
felt annoyed at Harry for contacting him and not them, Harry froze and his eyes
were wide as saucers when he saw them sitting in his living room and his little
girl he had missed so much during on Liam's lap holding a piece of paper in her
hands.
 
"Surprise!" Both Liam and Logan shouted holding their arms up in the air.
 
"What-what are you guys doing here?" Harry asked fighting the urge to hold
Logan and Louis close to him and never let them go.
 
"I invited them Harry and they all have something for you, c'mon marshmallow
give daddy curly what you did for him." Liam encouraged her setting her down on
her feet pushing her a little towards Harry.
 
Logan unsure of what to do looked at Louis who smiled and nodded to her to go
on, she shyly began walking to him as he bent down eyeing her with a tiny smile
then the paper she was tightly holding leaving small crinkles behind. She gave
the paper to Harry who immediately took it and looked at it as his eyes quickly
filled with unshed tears taking in the messy letters and squiggly lines loving
every single one of them and just the picture in general and cleared his throat
before speaking willing that lump in his throat to go away.
 
"You made this for me love bug?" Harry asked then hugged her after she nodded
standing up to his full height with her in his arms.
 
Everyone but Louis looked away starting their own conversation to give them
privacy and Louis watched Harry's bottom lip tremble before he let the millions
of tears fall down his cheeks rocking her from side to side whispering things
to her. He looked away to keep himself from crying when he realized how much he
really did love her and missed her by the way he was holding her as if she was
his lifeline and Harry knew that if he let go he would disappear never to be
seen again into a world of darkness where he had spent the last six years of
his life and was still trying to get out of it hating himself but only managing
to feel better when holding the only person who had never judged him because of
what he had done but how could she if she was just an innocent. Louis looked
back at him to find him starting at him with red rimmed eyes never taking them
off of him when he sat down on the couch in front of everybody else with her on
his lap carefully holding the picture Logan had given him.
 
"I hope you don't mind us being here, Liam invited us and we brought you a
little something." Niall spoke motioning for the presents Louis, Eleanor and
himself were holding.
 
"I don't mind at all, thank you for coming." Harry tried to smile knowing that
in less than two weeks he'll be living in Australia.
 
"Could I talk to you somewhere private?" Louis asked as nobody except Harry
paid him attention knowing why he was there in the first place.
 
"Yeah...is my room okay?" Harry awkwardly asked getting up with Logan in his
arms.
 
"Yeah."
 
"Sweetheart why don't you go play with your toys while daddy and I talk okay."
Harry kissed her cheek as she nodded then set her down watching her run to her
box of toys then motioned for Louis to follow him.
 
He walked to his room letting Louis in first then decided to leave the door
open for Louis' sake but was surprised when he closed and locked the door then
moved to stand in front of him looking nervous.
 
"Liam told me you're moving to Australia." Louis stated looking at Harry.
 
"Yeah...in two weeks."
 
"Don't-don't leave Harry. Are you leaving because I told you to get out of my
life?" Louis asked trying not to cry, he just wanted him to confirm what he
already knew.
 
"It's for the best Louis. I don't want to leave Logan or you but I'm doing this
for you, I hate myself for hurting you and I don't want to keep doing that. I'm
done Louis." Harry said looking tired messing with his hair and chewing on his
bottom lip.
 
"You can't just leave her like that, she needs you and please don't get this
the wrong way but you were the one trying to be a part of her life and you're
stuck with her...And me whether you like it or not." Louis said almost
desperate for him to say he'll stay.
 
"Louis...." Harry sighed.
 
"I don't hate you okay...I hate what you did to me but I don't hate you, you
were my best friend and I could never hate you. If I said I did was because I
was hurt and angry, I was angry at you for treating me the way you did. I'm not
ready to forgive you yet and honestly I don't know if I ever will but please
don't leave her, we can work it out...I'm willing to try if you are." Louis
teared up and closed his eyes biting on his bottom lip feeling Harry's thumbs
wiping away a few tears that had managed to escape.
 
"Are you sure this is what you want? Because once you say yes there's no way
I'm getting out of your life and hers if you change your mind, I won't ever
leave you and her if you say yes." Harry whispered rubbing Louis' left cheek
with his thumb resisting the urge to kiss him again.
 
"Yeah, I am sure." Louis nodded opening his eyes wanting to move his head a few
inches and kiss him but before he could Harry took a step backwards.
 
"I'm not going anywhere...I-I'll stay, thank you for giving me another chance.
I promise you won't regret it." Harry smiled a little.
 
"Good, I made something for you...well Niall, Zayn, and Eleanor helped me. I'll
give it to you later." Louis smiled and reached for the door just as the
doorbell started ringing.
 
"That must be Drew..." Harry awkwardly mumbled just as Louis came face to face
with Harry's boyfriend and couldn't help but grin when he saw his wide eyes and
confused looks he was given them taking in Harry's disheveled hair from pulling
too much while they were talking and their swollen lips from biting on them too
much as well as their flushed faces.
 
"Harry...sorry I'm late." Drew smiled pecking Harry on the lips taking him by
surprise missing the hurt flash across Louis' face as he looked away.
 
"Uh...Louis this is Drew my-my boyfriend, Drew this is Louis." Harry awkwardly
introduced them.
 
"Nice to finally meet you." Louis faked a smile shaking his hand.
 
"Nice to meet you too." He smiled moving next to Harry wrapping an arm around
his waist.
 
Louis moved to stand next to Liam taking Logan from him as soon as she reached
for him and immediately hid her face on his neck while he rubbed her back
knowing it made her feel safe when he did that. Harry ended up introducing
everyone as Liam whispered to Louis he didn't know Drew would be showing up
then apologized until Louis told him it was okay. No matter how many times
Louis and Harry tried to get Logan to come out she only clung tighter to Louis
and caught Harry's jacket into a death grip forcing him to stand next to Louis
and every time Drew would talk to her trying to make nice with his boyfriend's
daughter she would pull Harry closer to them and stare at Drew with wide eyes.
She finally let go of them when Louis told her she needed to eat and because
Drew had dragged Harry to sit with him on the opposite side of the table.
 
"Unca Zayn down please." Logan pulled on his sleeve.
 
"Oh, sure cupcake." Zayn smiled then watched with an amused look at how she
stared at Harry then narrowed her eyes just like Louis then pouted furrowing
her eyebrows when she saw Drew hugging Harry then knew what was coming when she
walked up to Harry.
 
"Daddyyyyy." Logan whined pulling on Harry's jacket rather forcefully until he
let go of Drew and turned around picking her up and peppering her face with
kisses setting her on his lap facing him.
 
"I missed you love bug." Harry smiled wrapping his arms around her.
 
"I missed you too," Logan wiggled around until she was right in between them
separating them then clung to Harry like a koala. "Mine." Logan claimed Harry
looking at Drew then Zayn and Eleanor burst out laughing followed by Liam then
Niall.
 
"So how long did you two dated?" Drew asked Louis and Harry taking his eyes off
of Logan.
 
"Uhh...." Harry stuttered observing how Zayn glared at Drew.
 
"Two years." Louis lied knowing he was trying to make him uncomfortable.
 
"Oh..." Drew said not expecting it at all.
 
"Time for Harry to open his presents. Marshmallow's present first, here you go
Haz." Liam quickly said after everyone had gone silent staring at Louis then at
Harry.
 
Louis watched with a tiny smile as Harry turned the picture around trying to
figure out what the squiggly lines meant until he told him and Harry only
smiled wider giving her thank you's and saying how much he loved it then got up
with her in his arms to put it on the fridge with a few magnets with her help
telling her it deserved to be there and now his bare stainless steel fridge had
a picture in the middle of it in comparison to the hundreds Louis had on his
own and her walls in her room. After he had opened Liam's, Eleanor's and the
present from both Zayn and Niall and he had thanked them multiple times Drew
immediately gave him his just as Louis was about to making him feel like his
was shitty compared to Drew's when it turned out to be a brand new camera.
 
He almost didn't give him his but did anyways when Eleanor elbowed him and Zayn
pinched him silently hissing that his daughter's baby pictures and videos were
more valuable to Harry than a fucking camera and he gave it to him watching as
he brightened and opened it wearing the biggest smile. Harry eyes began
watering when he saw Logan's baby pictures and the DVD and without really
thinking he ran up to Louis and wrapped his arms around his waist taking Louis
by surprise as he slowly wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders ready to
fight away all those memories but was left surprised when they never came.
 
"Thank you, I-I love it. What's on the DVD?" Harry asked holding them close to
his chest forgetting all about Drew's present he had been excited for.
 
Just as Louis was about to answer he was interrupted by a cellphone then Drew
quickly excusing himself then came back telling Harry he had to go then left
after kissing him right next to Louis frowning when Harry gently pushed him off
of him motioning that there was a child in the room then he waved to everyone
else. They all went back to having a conversation while Logan sat on Zayn's lap
eating cake and Eleanor kept wiping off the frosting from around her mouth and
the tip of her nose while Louis and Harry stood a few feet away in complete
silence.
 
"The DVD...they're just videos of Logan that we all had laying around and I
figured if you're gonna be around then why not let you see them. It was
Eleanor's idea and honestly most of the videos are from Zayn's collection, he
literally recorded every single moment of her life." Louis chuckled remembering
how since Logan had been born he always had his phone out recording her.
 
"I-I honestly don't know what to say, thank you...this is the best present,
yours and Logan's." Harry smiled.
 
"Don't mind us there, just focus on her and ignore us okay." Louis nervously
said fiddling with his hands.
 
"Why?" Harry asked smiling when Louis began blushing.
 
"Just don't look at us and focus on Logan." Louis insisted.
 
"But I wanna know why, I'll focus on you four if you don't tell me." Harry
smiled wider when Louis sighed in annoyance just like when they were kids and
he would annoy the hell out of Louis.
 
"Eleanor sneaked in a video of hers from before Logan was born, I was eight
months along so just skip it. I look hideous and fat." Louis huffed.
 
"Yeah okay, I'll skip it, don't worry about it." Harry quickly said.
 
"Aren't you gonna watch it now?" Louis asked hoping to get his hands on Harry's
DVD player or laptop to skip that part himself.
 
"Nope, I'll watch it later. Right now I wanna spend time with Logan, I haven't
seen her in a week." Harry said then walked up to Logan with Louis following
behind.
 
Logan was passed from arms to arms between all six adults until it was time to
go and Louis just knew Harry was going to see the whole video anyways and
decided to ignore it and as he kissed Logan goodnight he wondered if Harry was
already watching it.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1388075326593_zpsc73d2f81.jpg]
     Direct link for better view:
     http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     PicsArt_1388075326593_zpsc73d2f81.jpg
      
     Youdrivebritcrazy asked if I ever thought about having Louis paint
     again and I said yeah. Like I told her, there's a bigger reason as to
     why Louis never picked up a brush again and it will be revealed
     chapter fifteen. Oh and I know one of the babies is Lux but just go
     along with it. :)
     Thoughts?
***** Let's paint the picture of the perfect place *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Thank you so much to the wonderful allymets5 for making the trailer for the
book! She has amazing stories you guys should check them out. Thank you lovely!
:)
 
Ghost_Of_You_Trailer
 
Harry showered after Liam had gone home then settled down on the couch with his
laptop on his lap trying to make the video play faster but ended up waiting for
it to load drumming his fingers on his lap. He immediately pressed play
anxiously waiting for it to start and almost forgot how to breathe when it did.
All he could see was a hallway of what he assumed was the flat they used to
live in then Niall's face telling Eleanor who had the camera to be quiet. He
noticed the date and time on the bottom right corner as january the third two
thousand and ten at six forty pm realizing Louis was still pregnant by that
time. His eyes began to fill with tears as soon as he saw a heavily pregnant
Louis wearing a big sweater, sweatpants and a beanie covering half of his head
standing next to the couch going through tiny white baby clothes with Zayn as
he tried to convince Louis to just go ahead and find out the sex of the baby
because all white clothes were hideous and not cheerful at all and did he
really expected them to stay white.
 
Harry honestly had no idea why Louis had said he looked hideous when to him he
looked as gorgeous as ever and had a certain glow that Harry immediately fell
in love with and made his chest hurt knowing he had missed everything. He
reached to touch the screen with his thumb where Louis' stomach was just as
Louis wrapped his hand around it making his hand look smaller compared to his
well rounded belly.
 
"I'm serious Louis! Why can't you just go and find out what you're having?
These clothes are of a hideous color and how am I supposed to know what color
I'm gonna buy the new clothes if I don't know if it's a boy or a girl? I don't
want the baby to own only white clothes." Zayn whined pulling on Louis' arm
messing up the tiny white onesie he had just folded.
 
"Zayn...You already went through five months without knowing, one more is
nothing and you messed it up! Do you know how hard it is to fold them." Louis
groaned resting the onesie on the top of his stomach to try and fold it again.
 
"No...You forced this upon me, I told you Dr. Lane could have just told me but
you didn't even let her. Louis I need to know or I'm gonna die. Please!" Zayn
kept pestering him making Harry smile at the way Louis rolled his eyes and
Zayn's insistence in knowing.
 
"No, we're gonna wait until the baby's bo-El what are you doing?" Louis asked
looking straight at the camera.
 
"Nothing, go back to folding the munchkins clothes. You still have a few and
Zayn isn't helping at all." Eleanor giggled along with Niall.
 
"I am helping, I folded two." Zayn grinned.
 
"You folded two out of a pile of eleven." Niall stated.
 
"Are you seriously recording this? Eleanor Jane Calder I look like a whale,
stop it!" Louis exclaimed throwing a couch pillow at her.
 
"Ow! Fine I'll stop you grumpy pants." Eleanor said before the screen went
black.
 
Harry waited until the screen lit up again focusing on Zayn's face and Harry's
smiled bigger when he figured out where they were and what that meant but his
smile faded remembering where he had been and in what circumstances.
 
"Hi Logan, it's your favorite uncle Zayn. Today's February fourteen two
thousand and ten and its around noon, you're exactly eleven hours old baby.
Happy birthday cupcake! Say hi to your daddy and your cute baby self." Zayn
smiled turning the camera around to a tired looking Louis wearing a light blue
hospital gown with his messy hair covering his forehead holding a tiny bundle
of beige blankets.
 
Harry smiled letting the tears fall when Louis lifted her up a bit and kissed
her making her let out a tiny adorable squeak then he saw tiny arms peeking out
of the blankets resting on Louis' chest then moving around a bit before Louis
grabbed her them and kissed them smiling down at her. Harry sat up and let out
a choked sob when Louis shifted her around so she was facing the camera
revealing a tiny beautiful face with the cutest nose, she had her eyes closed
but he could see her tiny eyelashes fanning over her chubby cheeks. Louis had
the biggest smile as he waved her hand for the camera.
 
"Say hi sweetheart." Louis whispered looking at the camera but quickly focused
his attention on her when she began getting fussy letting out high pitched
cries calming down when Louis began rocking her from side to side mumbling
words Harry couldn't make out that well.
 
"That was your first ever video outside your father's womb and you cried, now
say hi to uncle Niall and aunt Eleanor." Zayn smiled shifting the camera over
to them as they waved each holding a Styrofoam cup then he started recording
Louis again without him noticing as he watched her with love and adoration
until Zayn said his goodbyes and the screen went black again.
 
"It's February sixteenth two thousand and ten at about three forty seven pm and
look who's about to be welcomed into the house for the first time." Harry heard
Zayn's voice focusing the camera on both Louis and Logan until they heard a
loud bang and saw Niall walking out of the flat dusting his hands off then
Eleanor walking in front of him shoving half of the pink bags she was holding
over to him.
 
"Welcome home Logan." Louis said just as Eleanor opened the door stopping
halfway through the door.
 
"Niall, you cleaned the whole house?" Louis asked lightly bouncing her looking
around.
 
"Yeah...it took me all day but there was no way we were gonna bring the
princess into a messy flat." Niall smiled grabbing Logan's hand waving it
around.
 
Harry watched how they gave her a tour of their flat until they got to Louis'
room and he slowly put her down on her bassinet, he watched the next video from
when Louis' family as well as Zayn's, Niall's and Eleanor's went to visit them
wanting to meet her and he couldn't help but feel a hole in his chest knowing
that his family and Liam's were the only ones missing, the only ones who had
missed such a special day. He could see Jay tearing up when she saw and held
her for the first time sharing a look with Mark and according to the date Harry
was still stuck in that place wishing he was dead every single second of the
day.
 
He laughed at one where Louis was trying to change her diaper making a cute
face that was supposed to be of disgust but he couldn't pull it off, not when
all he saw in his face was love for her. He hadn't noticed Zayn was getting
everything on camera until he was done and looked up just as he picked her up
and wrapped a pink blanket around her tiny body.
 
"C'mon mate give my daughter some dignity, I'm changing her diaper." Louis
frowned trying not to laugh.
 
"This needs to be documented Louis, what am I gonna show at her wedding day
then. If daddy's not gonna embarrass her then uncle Zayn will." Zayn giggled
shaking the camera a bit.
 
"Uh huh, here, can you hold her so I can shower? Oh gosh I still have homework
to do." Louis sighed kissing her forehead then walked over to his bed to grab
the new clean clothes resting there.
 
"Sure Lou, I thought you were done by now." Zayn said holding her tightly with
one arm putting the camera close to her face where Harry could see all her
features and the saliva bubbles she was making with her tiny pouty lips.
 
"I was doing it but then it was time to feed her and you know how she gets."
Louis responded off screen making her turn her head over to where his voice was
coming from making it easier for Harry to see her lovely green/blue eyes he
loved so much staring at nothing in particular. She was wearing a pink knit hat
and drool was coming out from the sides of his mouth then he saw Zayn kissing
her cheek before the screen once again went black.
 
Harry lost track of time watching the whole video feeling the tears streaming
down his face when Logan spoke her first word which was 'dada' when Louis was
feeding her and he had bursted out crying, her first birthday where she ruined
the icing of the cake then smeared it all over Zayn's face when she grabbed it.
Her first steps in the living room with Louis, Niall and Eleanor cheering her
on while Zayn recorded everything, how she had stopped halfway from getting to
Louis then started crying falling back on her bum making Louis shot up from his
spot on the couch to pick her up and comfort her. Instead of feeling better
after watching it he only felt emptier than ever knowing how much he had missed
and couldn't and will never be able to go back in time and fix it all and be
with them like a proper family, he turned off the laptop and went to bed after
he had gone through Logan's pictures deciding to buy new frames.
 
He woke up the next day to his phone ringing loudly right by his ear and
groaning in annoyance he picked it up ignoring the caller id since his sight
was still blurry fully waking up when Gemma began screaming his ear off.
 
"Gemma shut up!" He groaned.
 
"No, you shut up! Is it true Louis' coming back with my niece for her birthday
and is it true that you're planning to move to Australia?" Gemma asked.
 
"I was but I'm not anymore and yes we're having her birthday party there. Who
told you?" Harry spoke trying to open his eyes again shielding them from the
bright sunlight.
 
"Okay good, I thought I was gonna have to go there and unpack all your stuff
while trying to knock some sense into you. Liam told me...Oh my gosh I can't
wait to meet her! How was yesterday, I heard you got a boyfriend. What about
Louis?" Gemma asked.
 
"Yesterday was great, I got a picture from Logan and Louis gave me baby
pictures and a video from when she was a baby. I got a boyfriend but I'm not
sure if I want you guys to meet him yet. What about Louis, what?" Harry asked
trying to act like he didn't know what she was talking about.
 
"I wish I was there to celebrate your birthday with you and I thought you were
gonna earn his forgiveness and fight for him, I know you still love him Haz."
Gemma sighed.
 
"Don't worry, that won't be my last birthday, I still have many left. I kissed
him a week ago and he slapped me and I figured out that it's better to just
leave things the way they are, we did agreed to be civil for Logan last night.
That's the most I'm gonna get." Harry explained turning around on his bed to
get more comfortable.
 
"But you love him you idiot." Gemma argued.
 
"It doesn't matter anymore Gems, I'll get over him and make it work for Logan.
Louis and I were never meant to be together and never will, he doesn't love me
anymore and its all my fault because I fucked every thing up. It's for the best
Gemma." Harry sat up rubbing his eyes.
 
"So you two are just gonna spend the rest of your lives passing her from one
house to the other when you want to spend time with her instead of raising her
in a proper home with both her parents? That's no way to raise a child Harry
and you and I know better than anyone else what that's like." Gemma argued.
 
"Well what do you want me to do?! I know better than anyone else know how it
feels to be passed around but there's nothing I can do. Louis doesn't love me
and will never want to be with me no matter what, I can't force him." Harry
raised his voice a tiny bit remembering his biological dad he hadn't seen since
he was fifteen and was the reason for his fear that had ruined his and Louis'
lifes.
 
"Fight for them! That's what you need to do goddamit." Gemma shouted.
 
"He doesn't love me, I can't force him to love me and be with me...not again
Gemma." Harry tried not to cry swallowing the lump that had formed in his
throat.
 
"I'm sorry Haz..."
 
"Don't be, it's all my fault and I deserve it."
 
"We need to have a good talk when you get here. I have to go and I love you
okay, always remember that."
 
"I love you too Gems." Harry said then hung up staying in bed doing nothing.
 
He lay in his bed wanting to see them again then smiled reaching for his phone
trying to buy tickets and if they couldn't go with him then he would just save
them and give them to his assistant, after he was done he decided to call Louis
and ask him thanking the gods they had managed to save his contacts and
personal stuff and information.
 
"Louis, it's Harry." He smiled at hearing his voice, Buttercup's barks and
Logan singing in the background.
 
"I thought you lost my number." Louis said trying to load the dryer with the
sheets Logan had stained with crayon.
 
"They were able to save my contacts. I was wondering if I could take Logan to
the zoo, I know it's gonna be crowded but I think we'll manage not to lose
her." Harry said hoping for a yes.
 
"When you say we who are you referring to, who else is going?" Louis asked
cringing at the idea of Drew being close to her.
 
"You and I, I want to take you both." Harry quickly answered.
 
"Oh okay. What time, and are we buying the tickets there?" Louis asked
imagining the long line just to get them.
 
"I'll pick you up at one and I already got them."
 
"Okay then, we'll see you at one. Bye."
 
"Bye."
 
Harry quickly got up noticing it was already eleven and ran to take a shower
before eating something light and while he waited to pick them up he took the
picture frames he had in the box ready to pack and put them back in the walls.
Louis and Logan were already waiting when he got there immediately picking her
up into his arms as soon as he laid eyes on her while Louis had her bag and her
car seat. The car ride was filled with Logan talking about anything that caught
her attention and Harry answering her questions as best as he could keeping it
rated G feeling Louis' eyes on him the entire time. As soon as she was out of
the car she grabbed Louis' hand on her right and Harry's on her left walking
towards the entrance jumping up and down with excitement smiling widely at the
employee who smiled back as Harry handed her the code he had gotten for the
tickets.
 
"Wow, it's really crowded." Louis looked around tightening his grip on Logan's
hand.
 
"Daddies I want to see the fishies." Logan pouted looking up at them.
 
"To the aquarium it is then. You okay Louis?" Harry asked noticing looking
around nervously.
 
"Yeah I'm okay, we should get going." Louis started walking noticing people
cooing at Logan then smiling widely at him and Harry.
 
He began to feel that weird feeling on his stomach realizing that they thought
they were just a happy family, two happy parents taking their daughter to the
zoo as she squealed pointing at the different fishes swimming around. He saw
Harry bending down next to her telling her the names of the different fishes
and chuckled when she pressed her face against the glass putting her hand on it
asking Harry if they had a bed to go night night in and where did they go when
they had to potty. Halfway through the zoo Logan started whining that she was
hungry until Harry offered to buy food for all three of them and Louis was left
sitting on a picnic table with Logan to save the seats. He could see Harry
waiting in line not noticing the hungry looks an older man was giving him from
the other side of the picnic area until he was standing next to him.
 
"Hey gorgeous." The creepy old man said leaning in close to Louis as he backed
away holding Logan closer to him shielding her from the man.
 
"Uhh...hi." Louis murmured looking around for Harry who had disappeared.
 
"That your kid? She's a beauty." He smirked making Louis feel extremely
uncomfortable feeling Logan grab fistfulls of his coat.
 
"If you'll excuse-" Louis tried to get up with Logan to go find Harry and froze
when the man grabbed his arm to stop him.
 
"Leaving already? Why? I thought we could have some fun, it's hard to find a
pretty boy like you around here with killer curves like yours. She might be a
hassle but we can leave her somewhere." He whispered on Louis' ear as he held
back a whimper closing his eyes but quickly opened them when he heard Logan
beginning to cry in his arms, he was about to tell the man to fuck off when he
heard Harry's low and threatening voice.
 
"Do me a favor and take your filthy hands off of him." Harry growled putting
the bag and three drinks he was holding down on the table.
 
"He's not yours, mind your own business kid." The man spat.
 
"That's my husband you're talking about and our daughter. Now take your
disgusting hands off of him or so help me God you'll wish you were dead after
I'm done with you." Harry threatened giving him murderous looks looking ready
to kill at any moment, something Louis used to be afraid of but found
comforting now.
 
Louis gasped when the man's cold hands were replaced with Harry's warm hands
standing in front of him shielding them from the man's glare then felt an arm
wrap around his waist and warm lips on his left temple feeling safe out of
nowhere. Harry glared at the man exchanging a few not so friendly words before
the man left with a scowl on his face and as soon as he was gone Harry turned
around to look at Louis and comfort Logan.
 
"Louis are you okay? It's okay baby, he's gone. See? C'mon let's eat...daddy
got you and daddy Louis hot dogs. They're delicious, yummy!" Harry made silly
faces while rubbing his stomach in attempts to get her to stop crying.
 
"I-I'm okay, c'mon love let's eat." Louis mumbled following Harry to another
table still a little frightened where he sat down placing Logan in between
them.
 
"I'm sorry, if I had known that was gonna happen I-" Harry started.
 
"You didn't, don't worry about it I'm okay." Louis interrupted.
 
"But I-"
 
"Harry! Your food's getting cold." Louis interrupted ending the conversation.
 
Harry nodded and began handing them their food and drinks wearing a tiny smile
as he opened the wrapping paper to make it easier for Logan to eat her food
knowing how messy it could get. Louis smiled when he saw him grabbing a napkin
to gently wipe her nose then used his thumbs to wipe the tears off of her
cheeks while she let out tiny hiccups that quickly went away. Harry started
eating his food in complete silence once he made sure she was all set and that
she wasn't going to spill anything, he had his eyes fixed on something Louis
couldn't see and will only break it to help their daughter keep the area around
her mouth ketchup and mustard free. He grabbed his drink slowly drinking it and
almost choked realizing what it was and looked up to see Harry looking at him
with a worried expression as well as Logan while chewing her food raising her
eyebrows.
 
"Are you okay?" Harry asked.
 
"Y-yeah..." Louis trailed off smiling at Logan and chuckling when she gave him
a toothy grin closing her eyes then opening them again.
 
"Oh okay, I thought you didn't liked the drink I got you, hope it's still your
favorite." Harry gave him a sad smile then reached for his own drink looking
away.
 
"Mango pineapple it's still my favorite." Louis said trying to figure out what
was wrong with him, he had been acting strange ever since that man had left and
figured he'll just ask later.
 
"Daddy Lou, water!" Logan demanded pulling on his sleeve and quickly adding the
please and thank you after Louis gave her a look.
 
They ate the rest of their food in silence and as soon as they were done Louis
took Logan to a family bathroom just in time after drinking way too much Apple
juice followed by Harry's own strawberry one after she insisted on just a sip
to taste it and turned out into almost drinking half of it when she kept
grabbing the straw to drink. Once they were done and had washed their hands
they walked out of the bathroom with Louis looking around for Harry until he
found him talking to a security guard then smiled shaking his hand and walked
back towards them wondering why Harry had been talking to him then remembered
that man.
 
"Is something wrong?" Louis asked shifting Logan over to his left hip who was
entertained pulling the leaves out of the tree behind them watching them fall
to the ground before doing it again.
 
"No, everything's okay. You guys want to go see the tigers?" Harry asked
looking at the routes he had made on his phone."
 
"We haven't really had a proper conversation in almost six years but I know
that look. What's wrong?" Louis insisted waiting for Harry to start talking.
 
"Nothing's wrong Louis. Bug we're gonna go see the tigers, you excited?" Harry
beamed taking her from Louis.
 
"Mhm, can I pet it like I do with Buttercup?" Logan asked bouncing up and down
in his arms.
 
"I'm afraid we can't sweety, we can't pet them but we can watch them." Harry
smiled kissing her cheek.
 
The rest of the way Harry avoided Louis' questions like the plague until they
got to the tiger territory where Logan quickly dragged them towards the floor
to ceiling windows pressing her face against it. They both bent down next to
her pointing at the different tigers until one of them came too close to the
window out of curiosity and Logan quickly turned to Louis trying to crawl on
his lap to hide away from the tiger while both parents tried to coax her out.
 
"Is she afraid of them too?" Said a voice louis recognized, he turned his head
around to see David looking at them with a small smile while Brian had Alex in
his arms kissing his forehead and rubbing his back.
 
"Hi, yeah...she didn't expect them to get too close." Louis chuckled.
 
"Neither did Alex. How are you? Hello." David smiled at Harry and Logan.
 
"Good, how are you?"
 
"Great!"
 
"Hi, it's nice to see you again." Harry smiled shaking his hand then Brian's
when he approached them.
 
"They really don't like them." Brian sighed running his fingers through Alex's
blond hair while Louis gave Logan to Harry.
 
"We were about to head out to butterfly paradise, want to join us?" David asked
and Harry looked at Louis waiting for confirmation.
 
"We'll love to." Louis smiled.
 
Once they were there Logan and Alex quickly ran to watch them closer holding
hands with Harry and Brian running after them shouting at them to stop running
while Louis decided to stay behind with David, they say down on a bench as
Louis realized how tired he already was from walking around.
 
"They're so excited." David chuckled watching them running around.
 
"They look more excited." Louis said pointing at Harry and Brian.
 
"Yeah...I'm just glad he's around." David said out of nowhere surprising Louis.
 
"Is everything alright?" He asked turning around to face him.
 
"Yeah yeah...It's just things that happened but they're in the past now. We're
good now. If you don't mind me asking, you and Harry married young?" He asked.
 
"Oh...No we're not married or dating, we just have a kid together." Louis
answered.
 
"We thought you were married, figured it out by the way he looks at you
everytime and I can see he's an excellent father." David pointed towards Harry,
Louis quickly turned around to see him blowing raspberries on Logan's tummy
then shifted her around to attack her cheeks while she laughed and pulled at
his hair but it didn't seem to affect Harry at all.
 
"He just met her two weeks ago." Louis blurted out not knowing why.
 
"Really? It doesn't look like it at all...And whatever happened between you two
in the past must've been hard for you. Being a single parent is hard especially
when you're pregnant." David chewed on his bottom lip.
 
"Weren't you with Brian then?" Louis asked.
 
"No. Brian used to be horrible, when he found out I was pregnant he denied Alex
as his son and wanted nothing to do with him so he left me, even after Alex was
born he kept denying him until he saw him and fell in love with him. It took
him a while to get used to being a father that's why I'm telling you it looks
like he's known her all her life instead of two weeks." David smiled a little.
 
Louis smiled then looked at Harry one more time holding Logan's hand and
talking to one of the employees before he let them all for of them through a
door then watched her happy face when a butterfly landed on the tip of her
nose, stood there for a few seconds then flew away leaving her a giggling mess.
His smile widened when Harry bent down to her level smiling and cooing at her
kissing her nose then her forehead, he pointed at his cheek and smiled when
Logan kissed it wrapping his arms around his neck.
 
Harry could have rejected her the moment he found out she existed and to be
honest that would've hurt him more than what he went through because of him but
instead of doing that he looked for her and already loved her without even
knowing her at all, he loved her unconditionally even though he had never met
her before and he knew he would always love her and do anything for her and
that just like he would Harry too would give his life up for her so she could
stay safe and happy. He didn't noticed they were standing in front of him until
Logan launched herself at him trying to wrap her arms around his stomach as
Harry looked down at them with fondness, he picked her up and she immediately
wrapped her arms around his neck kissing his temple.
 
"Oh, I almost forgot. Harry and I are throwing her a birthday party in
Doncaster the fifteenth of this month and we were wondering if you would like
to go. I know it's in Doncaster but we would really love for you to go." Louis
looked at David and Brian with a tiny smile.
 
"Of course we'll go." Brian smiled after having a silent discussion with David.
 
"That's great! Could I have your numbers to give you directions?" Louis asked
trading phones with David and Brian. "Harry aren't you gonna give them your
number?" Louis mumbled so only Harry could hear him.
 
"Yeah." Harry smiled giving them his cellphone.
 
"Just give us a call when you start driving there and we'll give you
directions." Louis said handing them their phones back.
 
"We will, thanks for inviting us." Brian smiled.
 
They continued walking around seeing the different animals until Logan fell
asleep in Louis' arms and decided to leave at the same time David and Brian
did, as soon as they were in the car Harry quickly took them back home staying
silent the whole way there. It wasn't until Harry walked out of Logan's room
saying a quick bye to Louis when he decided he had had enough and physically
blocked Harry from opening the door when he tried to escape him.
 
"You're not getting out of here until you tell me what's wrong." Louis insisted
slapping Harry's hands away every time he tried to open the door.
 
"Nothing's wrong. Louis I have to go." Harry struggled trying not to touch him
and freak him out.
 
"No you're not. Tell me what's wrong, you've been acting weird all day." He
insisted again securing the door to keep him from leaving.
 
"Nothing is...I was just feeling a little bit tired. I seriously have to go."
Harry moved to push him away from the door but Louis only held on tighter.
 
"No."
 
"If you don't move I'm gonna tickle you, I still know all your ticklish spots."
Harry threatened.
 
Louis raised his eyebrows challenging him sure of himself he wouldn't do it,
"you're not leaving."
 
Harry moved too fast for Louis and soon had his hands on his sides tickling
Louis as he tried to slap them away squirming around, he pushed him off and
blocked the door again when Harry tried to open it and make a run for it. Harry
once again tickled his sides making Louis screech and attempting to push him
off again his ankle got caught up on Harry's making Harry slip taking him down
with him when he tried to stop the fall.
 
Louis put out his hands in front of him to soften the blow but wasn't necessary
when he landed on top of Harry lifting his head to look at Harry's wide green
eyes staring back at him waiting for him to freak out but it never happened.
Louis found himself slowly leaning in and quickly pressed his lips on Harry's
lifting his head again to look at Harry then leaned in attacking his lips
kissing him as hard as he could not wanting any inch of his lips to separate
from his as he tangled his fingers on Harry's hair pulling him closer.
 
Harry reacted almost immediately kissing him back wrapping one arm around his
waist and using the other to pull him closer by the neck both of them feeling
the room getting hotter the more they kissed. He ran his hands throughout
Louis' back before they settled on his hips greedily tightening his grip on
them as the kiss became wetter and hungrier, it wasn't until Harry began
grinding against Louis pulling him down by the hips and Louis' moans when he
realized what he was doing and quickly pushed him away struggling to get up.
 
"I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you again. I'm sorry." Harry stuttered
getting up and running towards the door leaving the flat and Louis sitting
alone on the floor trying to catch his breath and figure out what the hell was
wrong with him.
 
He had kissed harry, he had kissed back and all he knew was that he wanted to
do it again as he touched his lips smiling a little.
Chapter End Notes
     Isn't the trailer just amazing? I'm in love!!
      

     [ photo PicsArt_1389654793902_zps8a9ba544.jpg]
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** Sitting in an empty room trying to forget the past *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Ghost_Of_You_Trailer_#2
 
 
Harry groaned when he heard his alarm going off and turned around shutting it
off as fast as he could to drown out the horrible noise it was making, he
abruptly sat up remembering what had happened last night and cursed himself for
being stupid and unable to control himself knowing he had probably fucked
things up again. He got out of bed heading straight for the shower and after he
was done getting ready he left his flat without eating breakfast but aiming to
go get his regular hot chocolate and blueberry muffin like he always did. When
he got to his studio Drew was already waiting for him giving him a kiss that no
matter what Harry did he couldn't help but compare to Louis' kisses making him
feel guilty at how much he preferred Louis'.
 
"Are you okay?" Drew asked sensing Harry's uneasiness.
 
"Yeah, I'm just tired. I'll be downstairs working." Harry forced a smile
heading towards the staircase.
 
As soon as he was there he pulled out his phone and transferred to his laptop
the picture he had taken of Logan the day before smiling as it loaded on the
screen, he smiled bigger when he saw it and knew what he would give to Louis as
a very late birthday present. He had been working for a while when he heard
footsteps coming downstairs and as he craned his neck around to see who it was
he could see two figures moving then Drew walked in followed by Louis holding
Logan in his arms and a bag hanging from his forearm. She had her legs and arms
wrapped around Louis and her face on the crook of his neck moving her feet
around in circles; a habit Harry had noticed she did when she was nervous or
scared.
 
"Harry love, Louis wanted to talk to you." Drew forced a smile clearly not
wanting him near Harry.
 
"Hi...could I talk to you? In private." Louis said looking at Harry then at
Drew raising his eyebrows expecting him to leave, he took the hint and left but
not before he pressed his lips against Harry's catching him by surprise as
Louis rolled his eyes focusing his attention on Logan pulling her sweater lower
on her back.
 
"Love bug!" Harry smiled as soon as Drew was gone.
 
"He's gone sweetheart." Louis mumbled hoping Harry wouldn't hear as she slowly
lifted her head looking around before her eyes landed on Harry.
 
"Daddy!" She shouted launching herself at Harry who caught her just in time
placing her down on his lap hugging and kissing her.
 
"Hi baby...why's your hair wet? Did you took a bath this early?" Harry asked
her giving Louis a shy questioning look.
 
"Daddy Lou said I needed one, daddy I didn't needed a bath." Logan shook her
head pulling on Harry's shirt to look at his swallow tattoos or the 'birdies'
like she liked to call them.
 
"Buttercup peed on her, made quite a mess." Louis shuddered remembering.
 
"Oh...sorry about that, I can take him back if you want." Harry said giving
Logan a pen and a piece of paper to entertain her.
 
"It's fine don't worry about it." Louis smiled.
 
"Are you sure?" Harry asked again then turned to Logan poking her pudgy belly
making her squirm. "Because Buttercup is a naughty boy." Harry teased making
her gasp and look at him with wide eyes.
 
"Daddy he's not naughty, he's little and can't hold it." She defended him while
drawing lines on the paper.
 
"Yeah, you're little too and you don't pee on daddy Louis, do you?" Harry
teased.
 
"No...Daddy I'm a big girl." She giggled at the thought going back to drawing.
 
"Alright alright, you're a big girl now."
 
"Harry about last night..." Louis blushed.
 
"I'm sorry." Harry mumbled closing his laptop.
 
"No...it wasn't...that was all me and I-I don't know, I just went for it."
Louis said starting to feel a heavy weigh on his chest that realizing that
maybe Harry was sorry for kissing him back.
 
"So you're not mad I kissed you?"
 
"Why would I be? I'm the one who kissed you and you're not mad I did are you?"
Louis asked with wide eyes.
 
"No I'm not...What are you guys doing today?" Harry asked bringing out the
chair next to him so Louis could sit down.
 
"Nothing really...I still want to know why you were acting weird yesterday."
Louis sat down putting Logan's bag on his lap.
 
"I was just tired." Harry lied giving Logan a second sheet of paper and a blue
highlighter.
 
"You can tell me anything, you know? If we really want to make this work we
have to communicate." Louis moved closer expecting him to start talking.
 
"I...it was that man and what he was trying to do, it was my fault because I'm
the one who took you there then left you and her alone. He was-he was trying to
do what I did to you." Harry whispered the last sentence looking down at
Logan's odd shapes on the paper.
 
"Hey...don't-don't say that, it wasn't your fault and that's in the past okay?
Let's not talk about it." Louis stuttered feeling a lump forming in his throat
as he tried to comfort him without remembering.
 
"Daddy I want down." Logan broke the tension wiggling out of Harry's grasp and
he gently set her down and watched her running to Louis asking for Jessy then
plopped down under the desk to play with her.
 
Harry cleared his throat then looked at Louis again, "Mum and Gemma are dying
to meet her, especially Gemma." He smiled.
 
"Really? I don't even...I haven't even started planning her party and I still
have to take her to have her picture taken." Louis groaned rubbing his hands on
his face.
 
"I'll help you and about the pictures...I could take them if you want to."
Harry suggested.
 
"You would? What are the prices? I need quite a few, all sizes because I'm
gonna give them to your family and you, my mum, Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor. Do
you think Liam would want one too? I'm basically gonna give them pictures from
age zero to four." Louis blabbered as Harry listened wearing a tiny smile.
 
"You don't have to pay me Lou. Do you have enough pictures because I'm sure
Liam's gonna feel left out if you don't give him any of those five pictures and
I'm pretty sure Gemma would want some too." Harry said.
 
"I can't let you take them for free." Louis looked down.
 
"I want to...if you want we can go take them right now so I can have them ready
by her birthday." Harry suggested a bit excited.
 
"Now? But she's not dressed with the clothes I got her."
 
"Go get her ready and I'll meet you there."
 
"Yeah, okay." Louis bent down to pick a surprised Logan who yelped when Louis
picked her up.
 
Louis hurried back to his flat to get her ready and changed her into a pink
dress and fixed her hair so it looked more like waves than curly. He was fixing
her pink flats on her feet when he heard the doorbell and hurried over to let
Harry in.
 
"Hey...well aren't you the prettiest princess in the whole wide world." Harry
smiled bending down to kiss her nose.
 
"Itchy." Was all she said pulling on her light pink leggings Louis had forced
her into.
 
"You know...I never understood why or how it will itch, Gemma used to complain
a lot too." Harry looked at Louis pointing at the leggings as Logan desperately
scratched her legs pulling on them.
 
"Do you think I should take them off?" Louis asked watching her drop down on
the floor rubbing her legs against Harry's own ones to try and find some relief
in the rough texture of his jeans.
 
"Yeah...look at her, it's like...I don't even know how to describe it." Harry
muttered then reached out to pull them off making her sigh in relief.
 
"We should get going." Louis said grabbing her stuff letting Harry carry her.
 
Thirty minutes later they found themselves in a small church just outside the
city that Harry had suggested Louis should see because it was simply beautiful
and as soon as Louis stepped inside he fell in love with it. It wasn't anything
like the big and fancy churches in the city but small, gorgeous, and homey. He
had Logan in his arms to keep her from running off while Harry talked to the
priest who he had known for two years now ever since he included pictures of
the church in his gallery at uni. After Harry had introduced them he led Louis
to one of the back rooms and as fast as he could he set up his stuff while
Louis struggled to keep Logan from getting up from the stool Harry had put her
in.
 
"Logan you have to look at me." Harry sighed trying to take the last picture
after a kicking and crying episode where Louis had to scold her to stop with
the attitude or he would make Harry take Buttercup with him again.
 
She sighed and looked outside as Harry immediately snapped the picture looking
at it and finding it absolutely perfect, he looked at Louis and nodded letting
him know they were done. He showed Louis the pictures checking the ones Louis
wanted and writing the sizes then picked up his stuff and left the church
thanking the priest.
 
~*~
 
"I've never planned a child's party or any sort of party before but I'm gonna
try my best and help you." Harry smiled sitting down on the couch.
 
They had gotten back to Louis' flat and wanting to be done with planning a
party Harry had decided to stay and help Louis while their daughter entertained
herself with Buttercup after she had gone commando as soon as she had stepped
inside and Louis had to chase her around to force a pair of shorts, undies and
a shirt on her.
 
"Mum told me she invited a few kids her age who live close and the twins
invited their class so she'll have kids to play with and Alex is gonna be
there, don't worry about adults being the only guests." Louis said after Harry
had voiced his thoughts and worries about her not having enough kids in her
party.
 
"Okay then...ooh and about the cake, we should order it from the bakery our
mums always ordered ours from. Lets have it Toy Story or The Amazing World of
Gumball themed. She's gonna flip!" Harry suggested wearing the biggest smile
making Louis' stomach flutter as he wrote it down.
 
"What kind of food should we serve?" Louis asked noticing Harry typing
furiously on his phone frowning when he figured out maybe he was texting Drew
but smiled at what Harry said next.
 
"Well according to our best friend Google we should serve juice drink boxes so
they don't make a mess and I think mini grilled cheese sandwiches are perfect
and veggie dips. My assistant had veggie dips at her daughters fourth birthday
party and tiny fruit kabobs." Harry said.
 
"You went to your assistant daughter's birthday party?" Louis asked trying not
to laugh.
 
"She invited me plus I took the pictures." Harry defended himself blushing a
bit.
 
"I need to Google how to make them." Louis mumbled.
 
"I know how to make the rainbow fruit kabobs, we can do strawberries,
cantaloupe, pineapple, green grapes, blueberries and the purple grapes and then
we press them into the wooden kabob skewers that are safe for children." Harry
said taking the notebook from Louis to write it down himself.
 
"That sounds great. We should do the party Toy Story themed and for activities
I think Zayn...Zayn and...I, we...we could paint their faces." Louis looked
away.
 
"You...You don't have to paint if you don't want to, I bet Gems would love to
do it." Harry quickly suggested sensing how tense Louis had gotten.
 
"I want to and...do you think Gemma would want to help too?"
 
"She'll love to." Harry perked up making a mental note to ask her.
 
"I'll call my mum and ask her to place an order for the cake and I'm just gonna
get there two days earlier to buy all of the food and the party stuff." Louis
sighed.
 
"I don't wanna pressure you into saying yes but if you want to we can drive
there together in my car, I'm not gonna leave you doing all the preparations by
yourself. I want to help too." Harry smiled and Louis was about to say yes when
Logan came in running with a panicked expression.
 
"Daddy look what happened!" She screeched grabbing Louis' hand pulling him
towards her bathroom.
 
"Sweetheart what's going on?" Louis asked following after her.
 
His eyes widened comically and his jaw dropped down as his lips turned into an
o shape looking at the mess in front of him taking in the overflowing toilet
and the water quickly pulling on the floor. He let go of her hand and as fast
as he could he ran in to try and shut off the toilet's water supply doing so
just as Harry walked in lifting Logan by her underarms to move her away from
the water and into the hallway as Louis frantically tried to stop the toilet
from overflowing.
 
"Logan what did you do?" Harry gaped at a mischievous looking little girl
looking right back at him with innocent eyes that almost fooled Harry into
thinking she had nothing to do with it.
 
"I don't like the ducky daddy, he went bye bye." Logan shrugged poking Harry's
knee through the rip on his jeans.
 
"I think she flushed down a duck...a rubber duck." Harry informed Louis who was
trying to figure out what to do.
 
"Ugh, I should have thrown it away when I had the chance." Louis groaned
getting up eyeing his soaked jeans.
 
"Do you have a mop and a bucket? Logan please go back to the living room with
the dog and stay there." Harry sighed.
 
"In the laundry room, there should be another pair of gloves there." Louis said
putting gloves on.
 
Once Harry was back with the items he found Louis trying to unclog the toilet
with a plunger and after a few attempts while Harry cleaned the floor he gave
out a cry of victory and carefully took the small yellow rubber duck with his
gloved hands and threw it away glancing at the door where Logan was standing
sucking on her thumb watching them and as soon as she saw him looking at her
she ran back to the living room. He took the gloves off washing his hands then
ran to his room to change his hands coming back wearing a pair of sweatpants
and another mop in hand to help Harry dry then disinfect the floor.
 
"Logan?" Louis walked into the living room followed by Harry and looking for
their daughter after they had finished and had washed their hands.
 
"Sorry sorry." Logan clung to Louis' legs burying her face on one of his
thighs.
 
"Don't cry." Louis murmured picking her up when she started crying loudly.
 
"I'm sorry daddy." She wailed clinging to him.
 
"I know you're sorry but why did you flushed it down the toilet? Toys aren't
meant to be flushed, only number one and number two are supposed to." Louis
explained pulling her off of his neck to look at her.
 
"I don't like the ducky daddy." She hicupped.
 
"I know you don't like it but that doesn't mean that when you don't like
something you have to flush it down the toilet. Please don't do it again.
Okay?"
 
"Okay. Daddy curly..." She burst out crying again reaching for Harry.
 
"Don't cry love." Harry cooed taking her from Louis setting her head down on
his shoulder.
 
Harry stayed until they were done planning and Louis had called his mum asking
her if she could order the cake then called Zayn while Harry called Gemma to
ask them if they wanted to volunteer to paint faces which they immediately
agreed to. They both agreed to drive to Doncaster together on Thursday so they
could prepare everything and have enough time for Louis' parents to get used to
have Harry around again or more like get Mark used to him again.
 
As the days passed by Louis found himself texting Harry more and more and
sometimes he would visit Harry at work when he didn't had to work ignoring
Drew's glares every time he got too close to Harry finding that being close to
him wasn't as nerve racking as it had been before. Logan slowly lost that fear
she had towards Drew and the more she was around him the more possessive she
got over Harry to the point of walking up to them when they were together and
physically push him away from Harry yelling 'mine!' every time he got too close
to her daddy then would cling to his legs while glaring at Drew.
 
Zayn had laughed his ass off after Louis had voiced his concern over her
possessive behavior she had over Harry and how she hated Harry's boyfriend
resisting the urge to roll his eyes at that word and after Zayn was done
laughing he only said 'when is she not possessive?' like it was completely
normal to him and soon after Eleanor had rushed into his flat holding two
magazines throwing them at Louis. One was Teen Vogue with him on the cover and
the other one had Harry, Logan and himself holding hands from that day at the
Zoo. It talked about how no one knew they had a gorgeous daughter together
because there was no doubt she belonged to them and how they had managed to
hide her and hide that they knew each other well enough to have a kid. Both
Harry and Louis shrugged it off and didn't really cared that everyone knew they
had a daughter as long as they didn't harassed her and it also didn't stopped
them from sometimes going out just the three of them together.
 
~*~
 
The Thursday morning they were supposed to be leaving Louis was already packed
and was just waiting for Harry to pick them up, Niall, Zayn and Eleanor were
set to get there Friday morning as well as Liam who according to Harry was
extremely excited for her party after finding out it was going to be Toy Story
themed. He had already sent a text to David and Brian letting them know he
would be leaving early and he would send directions and to call him if they
needed something after they had told him they would get there Friday night and
would stay in a hotel close to their place.
 
"Hey, you ready?" Harry asked after Louis opened the door.
 
"Yeah. Logan's still sleep, just let me put our bags in your car."
 
"I'll get them and Buttercup so you can lock your door." Harry smiled taking
the two bags and Buttercup's leash.
 
"Did you guys had breakfast?" Harry asked as soon as Louis got in the
passengers seat after buckling Logan up in a way that she was comfortable
putting the dog next to her.
 
"Yeah we did but she fell asleep again." Louis said.
 
They fell into a comfortable silence only making conversation once in a while
until Louis started getting annoyed at the fact that Drew kept calling Harry
until Harry told him that he was driving and that he'll call later. Harry was
starting to get hungry deciding to stop at McDonald's two hours after they had
left London and after Louis agreed that it was for the best to get Logan
something to eat now or she'll whinning for the rest of the way demanding food
if she woke up as he told Harry that she had always been like that ever since
she was a few hours old as Harry parked the car.
 
"Daddy Lou I want chicken nuggets." Logan loudly announced startling Harry but
not Louis who was used to it.
 
"Oh my God! How long have you been awake?" Harry asked her holding a hand over
his chest and Logan mumbled a quiet 'dunno' then moved her attention to roughly
pet the sleepy dog.
 
"She scared me." Harry said to Louis shutting the engine down and unbuckling
himself pausing before speaking again. "Isn't it better if we just go through
the drive-thru?" He asked then drove towards it shaking his head while Louis
laughed.
 
After getting their food and Louis had made sure Logan wasn't going to spill
anything they continued their drive until they were only twenty minutes away
and Louis could sense how nervous Harry was by the way he was gripping the
steering wheel and he couldn't help but feel nervous too even though he had
begged his dad to be nice to Harry for their sake. He had agreed to it but he
was still nervous and the fact that Harry's family was going to be there and
were going to meet her didn't helped at all.
 
"It'll be okay Harry." Louis spoke after a while trying to make both of them
feel better.
 
"I haven't been there in three years." Harry confessed surprising Louis.
 
"Why?"
 
"Too many memories, I couldn't handle them and just stopped visiting...I
haven't seen my family in a year too." Harry explained making Louis realize
that he hadn't been the only one with too many painful memories enough for him
to stop visiting too.
 
"Well...time to build new ones." Louis half smiled as Harry parked in front of
their houses that still looked pretty much the same.
 
They got off the car taking Logan and Buttercup leaving their bags there for
later and headed towards Louis' front door as he held onto Logan tightly and
Harry held the dog, both of them ready to face everything and everyone. They
already knew Harry's family were waiting there too and Louis couldn't stop
thinking about how both of them had left separately with nothing and now they
were back together with a little girl and a dog. Just as Louis was about to
knock the door slammed open and Louis found himself trapped in his mother's
arms immediately hugging back trying not to squeeze Logan.
 
"I missed you baby! Oh my God look at my grandbaby! You got bigger since the
last time I saw you lovely." Jay let out a watery chuckle grabbing her face
with both her hands kissing her forehead then Louis'.
 
"Nana!" Logan squealed.
 
"Harry! Come here, I haven't seen you in three years. Your parents and sister
are inside and can't wait to see you and meet Logan." Jay said pulling him into
a hug surprising him as he hugged back.
 
"We should go in." Louis said and gulped when his mum let them in and led them
to the backyard where everyone was waiting.
 
As soon as they stepped outside Anne's eyes began watering bringing her hands
over to her chest while Gemma smiled trying hard not to cry observing their son
and brother who looked much older than the last time they saw him and the
gorgeous little girl a completely different Louis was holding. Anne rushed over
to him hugging the life out of him followed by Gemma and Robin resisting the
urge to hug Logan not wanting to scare her while Harry smiled then looked over
at Mark who looked like he wanted to punch him but didn't wanted to at the same
time remembering that night he watched from his window how an unconscious Harry
was carried out looking dead.
 
"Oh honey, we've missed you." Anne hugged him tighter then let him go to kiss
his forehead followed by Gemma who lightly slapped the back of his head then
hugged him rubbing his back as he nuzzled his face on her neck.
 
"I missed you knucklehead."
 
"Yeah me too brainless." Harry smiled bending down a little to kiss her
forehead since he was taller than she was.
 
"Mine!" Logan broke the moment reaching for Harry pulling him closer to her by
his jacket.
 
"Aren't you a gorgeous girl. I'm Anne, I'm Harry's mum." Anne smiled as the
tears rolled down her cheeks.
 
"It's okay love, she's daddy's mum and that's his sister Gemma and his dad
Robin." Louis tried to coax her out after she hid her face on the crook of his
neck.
 
"I missed you Louis, I'm glad you're back." Anne mumbled to Louis hugging him.
 
"I missed you too." Louis smiled trying not to cry.
 
"Hi baby girl, I'm your auntie Gemma. Harry the knucklehead is my brother."
Gemma smiled trying to get a better look at her.
 
"Anne is your grandma like Nana Jay and Robin is grandpa like papa." Louis
rubbed her back until she looked at them then reached for Harry who took her in
his arms together with Buttercup.
 
"That's my mum and dad love bug. You can call her Ninna and you can call my dad
poppy if you want to." Harry smiled winking at Robin.
 
"Can I hold her?" Anne asked looking at Louis then Harry.
 
"Of course." Louis smiled.
 
He gave her to Anne and watched her hug his daughter like there was no tomorrow
trying to stop crying.
 
"I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry." Gemma chanted then burst out crying
when Anne gave Logan to her as she studied her features then hugged her giving
Louis a watery smile then reached to hug him too.
 
"It's so nice to see you again...I missed you." Gemma said.
 
"I missed you too." Louis wrapped his arms around her.
 
"Your dad's been waiting for you." Gemma whispered then let go of him.
 
Louis nodded giving Robin a quick hug then walked up to Mark quickly wrapping
his arms around him while Mark did the same, they stood there for a while
listening to Logan's giggles and Anne, Gemma and his mum's voices cooing over
her then Gemma arguing with Harry over his ugliness and Logan's beauty. He
moved his head a little to see Harry and Robin walking to the other side of the
backyard with Harry still holding the dog then them talking, he watched Robin
pull Harry into a hug and Harry cling to him desperately.
 
"Are you okay? How is he treating you and my munchkin?" Mark asked.
 
"He's a complete different person dad, he's really good to us and Logan adores
him." Louis said.
 
"You know I respect your decision but the moment he does or says something you
don't like you tell me right away. I'll be damned if I let him hurt you again."
Mark gave Louis a stern look while Louis nodded.
 
"The girls are at school?" Louis asked trying to change the subject.
 
"Yeah and they're so excited to see you both, especially the twins. We still
haven't told them Harry is Logan's dad...that's up to you if you want to tell
them. Now c'mon, I wanna hug my troublemaker." Mark smiled throwing his arm
over Louis' shoulders bringing him closer to him.
 
They walked up to them where Logan was on Gemma's arms fascinated with her long
wavy hair trying to braid it but all she did was tangle it up and Gemma didn't
seemed to mind at all too busy talking to Anne and Jay about how she was an
exact copy of Harry with the exception that she was a beauty and Harry was just
Harry. Just as she let an excited squeal of 'look papa I have a poppy!' Louis
noticed Harry sitting with Buttercup all by himself over by the edge of the
hill staring at nothing in particular yet the look on his face was the same he
wore when remembering painful memories.
 
"He just needs a few minutes alone." Robin gently grabbed his arm just as he
started making his way over to Harry.
 
"Why, what's wrong?" Louis asked as his eyes flickered between Robin and Harry.
 
"It's not really my place to tell you, he will if he wants to." Robin answered
and with that he went back to the rest leaving a confused Louis standing alone
noticing Harry wiping his face with his sleeves.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mvcri8ErVs1slptp8o1_500_zps358fe42d.jpg]
      
      
      
     Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mvcri8ErVs1slptp8o1_500_zps358fe42d.jpg
      
     Someone made a new trailer guys, please watch it! :)
     Thoughts? :)
***** I could see it in your eyes, but I just didn't care *****
Chapter Notes
     I am so sorry I took me forever to update, I was busy and just when I
     was about to finish typing my mom told us we had to go to some family
     dinner and my brother and I were pissed off but here it is. Please
     enjoy.
     IMPORTANT: Note at the end and some of the medical things mentioned
     in this chapter I made up for the sake of the story.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"We should go inside, the girls will be here at any minute now." Louis spoke
startling Harry who relaxed once he saw him.
 
"Where's Logan?" Harry asked.
 
"Inside with our mums and your sister, she's already so in love with Gemma and
so is she." Louis smiled taking a seat next to Harry.
 
"She's all Gemma talked about ever since she found out about her." Harry
cracked a smile giving Louis a quick glance.
 
Louis observed Harry and wondered what was it that he was keeping from him and
if it was as serious as Robin made it out to be, he wanted to ask him but
instead chose to keep it to himself until made the move to tell him. They
walked side by side back to the house when Gemma began shouting at them to come
inside and once he walked in followed by Harry he was attacked by four bodies
clinging to him while he tried to wrap his arms around all four of his sisters
managing to do so. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Harry walking up
to Gemma and Logan as she leaned her body reaching for him while he smiled
taking her in his arms.
 
"We missed you Lou." Both Daisy and Phoebe said smiling up at Louis.
 
"I missed you all too." Louis smiled kissing their foreheads.
 
"Is it true Lou?" Lottie whispered in his ear while hugging him.
 
"What?" Louis gave her a confused look.
 
"Harry is Logan's dad...I didn't know you two had something going on back
then." She wiggled her eyebrows then turned to look at him seeing him rocking
her from side to side while Logan rested her head on his shoulder and sucked on
her thumb.
 
"We didn't...it was...it was just a one night stand." Louis lied feeling bad
but he didn't wanted his sister to know how Logan really came to be.
 
"Judging by the way he looks at you I don't think it was just a one night stand
for him." Lottie mumbled then pulled away just as the twins ran up to Harry
then ran up to their room each holding one of Logan's hands and Buttercup's
leash.
 
"I'm so glad you're back Lou." Fizz gave him a quick hug.
 
"Me too." Louis smiled.
 
"Son I put your bags in Lottie's room, she's gonna stay with Fizz." Mark
informed him.
 
Louis felt his blood going cold the moment he heard those words out of his
dad's mouth, he opened and closed his mouth trying to find an excuse to not go
in there again because he wasn't ready at all. He wasn't ready to go back into
the room where he had been violated and insulted, Harry knowing what Louis was
going through decided to save him from going back there again but Louis beat
him to it.
 
"Dad I don't think it's fair to take her room, Logan and I are just gonna go to
a hotel." Louis insisted.
 
"Nonsense love, you're staying in Lottie's room." Jay argued.
 
"Mum...that's not fair to Lottie plus she has a single bed." Louis continued.
 
"You could stay at our house in Gemma's room, she has her own flat now and the
bed is big enough for two." Anne offered smiling big and comforting like she
always did.
 
"A-are you sure? I don't want to intrude." Louis nervously asked.
 
"Of course I'm sure, we would love to have both of you there." Anne smiled
bigger.
 
"Okay then, thank you." Louis thanked her just as Logan came back with the
twins pulling on the leash and Logan's mouth and the tip of her nose covered in
chocolate.
 
"Icky, daddy I don't like icky." Logan looked up at Louis trying to clean it
off with her sleeves.
 
"Oh no, not with your sleeves Hunter! C'mon, lets clean that up." Louis took
her hand then walked out of the room towards the kitchen followed by all the
girls and Robin leaving Harry alone with Mark.
 
"You and I need to talk, come to my office." He left the room followed by Harry
and as soon as Harry closed the door Mark started talking.
 
"I'm not very happy with his decision of letting you back into his life but I
have to respect it, trust me when I say this Harry, if I could you would never
see them again but my son's old enough to make his own decisions. Do know that
if you hurt him again or hurt that little girl this time not even your parents
would be able to stop me from giving you what you deserve."
 
"I-I would never hurt them sir...I would never hurt him again." Harry stuttered
feeling Mark's burning gaze on him.
 
"I hope you keep your word because I don't want to see him cry like that
again...it broke my heart when he told us he was pregnant and it tore me apart
to know how he got pregnant. I know you didn't had it any easier than he did so
please don't hurt him again." Mark finished taking a deep breath.
 
"What I went through is nothing compared to what I made him go through and-and
I'm really sorry. I'm not gonna hurt him again, I promise." Harry willed the
unshed tears away.
 
"I just wish I had known what was going on back then because if I did none of
that would've happened but I can't change it...we should go back before they
start wondering where we are." Mark said then walked towards the door leaving
Harry behind to compose himself.
 
When he walked back to the kitchen Mark was already deep in conversation with
Robin. Anne, Gemma and the girls were focusing all of their attention on Logan
but Jay and Louis were nowhere to be seen. Shrugging it off he walked to the
downstairs bathroom passing by the living room where he could see Louis and Jay
sitting on the couch with Louis holding a canvas trying not to cry, he could
hear him asking her why she had picked it up and kept it expecting her to
answer but Jay only kissed his cheek and got up leaving him alone not noticing
Harry at all.
 
"Hey...What is that?" Harry asked startling Louis quickly hiding the canvas
behind him.
 
"It's nothing." Louis looked down.
 
"You're crying, if it was nothing you wouldn't be crying." Harry mumbled taking
a seat next to him craning his neck to look at the painting.
 
"It's just a painting, I have millions of those down in the basement." Louis
shrugged.
 
"Can I see it?" Harry smiled a little.
 
"No, definitely not." Louis quickly said panicking a bit because no, Harry
couldn't see it.
 
"Why not? C'mon Lou, I just want to see it." Harry insisted reaching for it
making Louis slap his hand away dropping it in the process where Harry quickly
picked it up wearing a tiny smile that faded away as soon as he saw it.
 
It was him, it was his seventeen year old self, Louis had painted him and
suddenly every thing was blurry. Once his vision cleared he turned to look at
Louis who had his head down refusing to look at him.
 
"When-when did you painted this?" Harry whispered so low only Louis could hear
him but barely.
 
"Last day of school...I stayed after school to finish it. I chose to paint a
person instead of a natural scenery, that's why it took me longer...I just
wanted it to be perfect." Louis answered still unable to look at him.
 
"That's why you were covered in brown and green paint..." Harry whispered to
himself then put the painting down next to Louis. "I-I have to go...I need
air."
 
And with that he fled the room leaving Louis alone picking it up before walking
to the basement putting it on a shelf with the rest of his paintings then
walked back to the kitchen drying his tears. Louis didn't see Harry at all for
the rest of the day even after he was already settled in what used to be
Gemma's room and Logan was downstairs baking cookies with Anne. Gemma had
already gone back to her house and he had already said goodnight to his family
expecting them to come over to Anne's house the next day to have breakfast
together except Mark, Robin and the girls who had to work and go to school.
 
He silently began unpacking Logan's outfit for the party after he had given
Anne, Gemma and his mum the pictures of Logan and Harry had given them the ones
he took making Anne cry at seeing her baby pictures cooing at every single one
of them. He noticed the price tag still on one of the sleeves, he looked around
for a pair of scissors to cut it off without ruining the fabric and once he
didn't see them he walked downstairs with the shirt in his hands intending to
ask Anne if she had a pair. He found Logan sitting on top of the kitchen
counter with Anne standing in front of her wiping her mouth with a napkin then
the cookie crumbs off of her shirt looking at her granddaughter like she was a
rare and very precious beautiful stone.
 
"One more Ninna." Logan pouted pointing at the chocolate chip cookies on top of
the kitchen table.
 
"You already had two pumpkin and I don't want you to get sick, tomorrow you can
have more and Harry told me it's almost your bed time." Anne smiled kissing her
nose.
 
"He's my daddy curly...He's not 'Arry. Ninna that's not his name." Logan gasped
shaking her head.
 
"I know darling, he's your daddy curly but he's also my son Harry. You call him
daddy and we call him Harry." Anne explained giving her a quick kiss on the
cheek.
 
"Oh..." Logan said then began rubbing her eyes letting Louis know she needed to
take a bath and go to bed.
 
"Anne?" Louis quietly called her name.
 
"Hi love, I was about to bring the munchkin to you." Anne said lifting Logan up
then setting her down watching as she ran to Louis where he quickly picked her
up.
 
"I was wondering if you have a pair of scissors I could use?"
 
"Yeah," Anne rummaged through the drawers just as her phone started ringing. "I
think I have a pair in one of the drawers in my desk in my office, I have to
answer but please feel free to go look." Anne gave him an apologetic smile.
 
Louis smiled and turned around heading to her office shifting Logan so she was
laying down in his arms against his chest then moved her back up when she
started squirming and whining to get back up.
 
He opened the door then walked in closing it after himself setting Logan down
next to him telling her to stay put while he searched for the scissors as she
insisted on helping because that's what big girls did; they helped their
daddies. He wasn't even done searching in the first one when Logan roughly
pulled out a drawer sending it down crashing into the ground scattering
documents all over them scaring her. She ran to him lifting his shirt up to
hide her face underneath it, he could feel her nose then her cheek pressing
against his stomach as he started at the mess in front of him.
 
"Hunter! Oh my god...here, love please just sit here and don't move." Louis
sobbed making her sit on the chair then bent down trying to organize them to
put them back in the drawer.
 
"I'm sorry daddy." She whimpered sucking on her thumb.
 
"It's okay love, daddy's not mad." Louis smiled at her then looked at the stack
of papers in his hands.
 
He was halfway done when he noticed a hospital release form with Harry's name
as the patient from Doncaster Royal Infirmary and began reading knowing it was
wrong and none of his business but he cared about him and wanted to know if it
had been something serious. He felt his legs giving out underneath him and the
hot burning tears prickling his eyes making them sting whenever he blinked to
try and clear his vision before they rolled down his cheeks as he read over the
form.
 
'Suicide attempt, sleeping pills (Ambiem) and alcohol overdose/poisoning, on
suicidal watch, therapy necessary for patient's well being, brought in by: Liam
Payne, mode: ambulatory, 2-14-10, 1:30 am.'
 
Those were the words that stuck out more to Louis, he looked down to see Anne's
signature at the bottom of the paper next to Harry's and as fast as he could he
grabbed the rest of the documents and threw them inside the drawer putting it
back in its place. He dried the tears taking a deep breath then picked up a
drowsy Logan and exited Anne's office forgetting about the scissors, he mumbled
a quick goodnight to Anne and gave Logan a quick bath then tucked her in laying
next to her humming a lullaby to get her to sleep after her bedtime story fail
to do so.
 
He stayed awake thinking about Harry and how much it would hurt him if he had
really succeeded, he could see now and remember that pain in Harry's eyes he
chose to ignore. He heard Harry's footsteps then his bedroom door closing at
around midnight then with shaky steps he got up and walked out of the room
leaving the door open and headed to Harry's room knowing he was still awake by
the light coming out from under the door. Just as he was about to knock he
stopped himself wondering how was he going to get him to tell him what had he
attempted to do and that's if Harry even wanted to share that with him
realizing he didn't had to tell him anything.
 
"Louis? What are you doing standing there?" Harry asked pulling him out of his
thoughts, he looked up to see Harry staring at him eating a cookie feeling his
chest tightening at the thought of him being dead.
 
"I was...I just...we need to talk. Can I come in?" Louis gulped bracing himself
for what was coming.
 
"Uh...Yeah sure." Harry moved to the side letting Louis in closing the door
then taking a seat on the bed gesturing for Louis to do the same.
 
"Where have you been?" Louis asked biting his tongue a second later wishing he
could take it back because he didn't had the right to ask him about his
whereabouts.
 
"Around town...." Harry responded taking a bite from the cookie offering Louis
another one from the pile he had on a napkin.
 
"Thanks." Louis mumbled taking the cookie.
 
"So what did you wanted to talk about?" Harry asked.
 
"About...about what happened earlier with the painting. You didn't had to run
off like that you know, we're supposed to start over and forget about...that."
Louis moved his arms around to make his point.
 
"I can't and never will. I'm a monster who deserves nothing but the worst, I
don't deserve Logan and you, I don't deserve anything good in life." He got up
pacing back and forth in front of Louis then knelt down in front of him.
 
"Harry..."
 
"No! You wanted to talk, we're gonna talk. I hate myself...I just hate myself
so much I could die in the most painful way and not give a shit because at
least I know I'll be going straight to hell to pay for all the awful things I
did to you. I'm a monster, I'm a waste of space because no one hurts the person
they love so much it hurts. That was my mistake, hurting you and not accepting
who I was...we could have been so happy together if I had just accepted who I
was." Harry confessed void of any emotion making Louis' breath hitch when a
single tear rolled down Harry's left eye.
 
"You wouldn't...right? You wouldn't try to kill yourself again and leave her
alone, right?" Louis asked unable to stop himself then his eyes widened in
realization at what he had just done.
 
"W-what? What-who, who told you?" Harry sat up as fast as he could walking
towards the door to escape feeling shame running through him but Louis stopped
him.
 
"Harry look at me...please look at me." Louis gently grabbed his chin to make
him look at him and when he did he noticed tears beginning to pool in his eyes.
 
"D-Did my mum and dad told you...did Gemma? I told them to never talk about it
ever again, I know I fucked up again but they promised...You weren't supposed
to know." Harry wailed getting out of Louis' grasp walking back to his bed
sitting on it.
 
"They didn't. I needed a pair of scissors and Anne told me to look for them in
her office, Logan was trying to help and knocked down a drawer with documents
and when I was putting them back in I saw the release form from the hospital.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have read it or ask you." Louis apologized.
 
"I just wanted to die, I just wanted to end it...end the nightmares...end
everything. I looked for you everywhere to beg you to forgive me...to beg for
another chance but I couldn't find you and your parents wouldn't tell me where
you were. I told our parents, Liam and Gemma everything, I told them what I did
to you and a few months later when I was back from uni and Liam had gone home
I...I just decided it was time. I wrote you a letter and just when I thought I
was ready to take them something held me back, I felt so desperate like-like
something telling me it wasn't time for me to go yet but I ended up overdosing.
That just shows how much of a coward I am for choosing the easy way out, I'm
such a fuck up because I always end up hurting everyone." Harry pulled his legs
to his chest wrapping his arms around them.
 
"I had her at around that time and I...I didn't know you were looking for me."
Louis mumbled taking a seat next to him.
 
Harrh scoffed, "See? I even manage to taint her birthday without knowing
it...God! I never stopped looking for you even after I moved to London and saw
that huge Gucci ad with you in it, I always payed extra attention when I was
out in case you were close but you managed to hide so well."
 
"You're not the only one who thought about taking the easy way out." Louis
confessed making Harry look at him with wide eyes.
 
"Please...please don't tell me you tried to kill yourself too." Harry pleaded
as a wave of fresh tears rolled down his cheeks.
 
"No, I never even thought about it." Louis quickly said wondering if telling
Harry, especially him, his deepest darkest secret he had kept to himself for
four years because he was simply too ashamed to tell someone was the right
thing to do.
 
"What do you mean then?"
 
"When-when I found out I was pregnant three months later I just wanted to get
rid of it. I hated her so much I just wanted her out and away from me but I
couldn't do it after I heard her heartbeat." Louis fiddled with his sleeve.
 
"That's-that's understandable Louis, I'm glad you didn't do it but if you had
gotten an abortion then I wouldn't have blamed you or anything...I have no
right to do so." Harry said even though it pained him to know.
 
"No you don't get it..." Louis frantically said. "I-I thought and that time I
knew I had made the right decision when I decided to keep her but after that I
realized I had to tell them I was pregnant and that she was yours, I had to
tell them how I had gotten pregnant.
 
It was just too much for me I changed my mind about keeping her two weeks later
but the thing was that Zayn, Niall, Eleanor, and my sisters were already so
excited and I knew Zayn would try to talk me out of it and if I went to the
doctor they would find out and hate me. There was this girl in one of my
classes who had been pregnant and when I told her what was going on she told me
she had taken some sort of tea to induce a miscarriage and that a doctor would
rule it out as my body rejecting the baby and that it would cause a threatened
abortion before finally aborting for good."
 
"Louis..." Harry mumbled feeling a hole in his chest.
 
"Please let me talk. She gave me some sort of herbs and told me four cups would
be enough and to drink two per day...I was on my second one when Zayn and Niall
came back from their trip and they started showing me all the baby clothes they
had gotten for her telling me how excited they were and I just started crying
when Zayn told me he knew it was gonna be a girl and couldn't wait to hold
her." Louis cried wrapping his arms around himself.
 
"She's here Louis, you don't have to tell me the rest. It's okay, she's okay."
Harry tried to calm him down.
 
"I almost lost her Harry...I-I started cramping and bleeding that night after I
had gone to bed, Zayn took me to the hospital and they wouldn't stop crying.
They were able to stop it but the doctor told us there were risks of birth
defects or a stillbirth later on because my body thought of her as a parasite.
I almost killed her Harry...I almost killed our daughter. Don't-please don't
hate me...please." Louis sobbed then they were muffled by Harry's chest when he
pulled him into a hug rubbing his back.
 
"I don't hate you, I could never hate you Louis. I love you." Harry mumbled
putting his left cheek on top of Louis' head.
 
"But I t-tried to k-kill her." Louis cried grabbing fistfulls of Harry's shirt.
 
"It's not your fault okay, if anyone here is to blame then that's me. I will
always love you no matter what, always." Harry murmured tightening his hold on
Louis knowing he'll be gone soon and that that could be his only chance to
every hold him like that.
 
"I-I..." Louis stuttered wanting to say it back but couldn't afraid of getting
hurt again and instead wrapped his arms around Harry's waist hoping he would
caught up onto what he was trying to show him but sadly Harry didn't.
 
Louis let go of Harry and sat there staring at him watching him fiddle with a
loose thread on his shirt wondering if Harry had lied about hating him now just
to make him feel better then jumped a little when Harry shyly grabbed his hand
and gently pulled him forward into another hug. They stayed like that until
Louis pulled away and looked straight into Harry's eyes deciding that if he
couldn't tell him how he felt then at least he would show him he still loved
him even after four years. He slowly inched himself closer to Harry never
breaking eye contact with him then leaned in catching Harry's lips with his own
feeling him tensing up then relaxing letting out a soft contempt sigh when
Louis ran his fingers through his hair noticing how soft it still was even
after six years of him not touching it anymore.
 
Harry deepened the kiss wrapping one arm around Louis' waist and the other
around his shoulders bringing him closer to him as Louis wrapped his arms
around his neck morally wanting to stop but deep inside he wanted it not caring
if Harry had someone else. He decided to ignore the need to stop himself and
instead lay back down on his back pulling Harry down with him as he quickly set
his arms on either side of Louis hovering over him never breaking the kiss.
Harry hesitated for bit before he began running his hand from Louis' left hip
down to his thigh stopping when Louis lightly pushed him back and froze
thinking he had done something wrong like forcing himself on him again. He
gasped when Louis began pulling on his shirt trying to take it off.
 
"Louis...wait. you're not-" Harry stuttered getting more and more nervous the
more Louis kept tugging on his shirt.
 
"Take it off." Louis mumbled then took it off himself when Harry made no move
to do it himself.
 
Once Harry's shirt was off Louis pressed their lips together again pulling him
down by the neck as Harry accommodated himself in between Louis' legs putting
aside the fear of pushing him too far. He trailed small kisses down Louis' neck
and just as Louis was about to reach for the zipper on Harry's jeans Harry
heard them, small whimpers and the word 'daddies' being chanted in between
hiccups. He sat up and stared at Louis leaving him confused as to why he had
stopped kissing him.
 
"Did you hear that?" Harry asked trying to focus on the sound.
 
"Hear what?" Louis asked almost out of breath.
 
"Logan." Harry got off of Louis running towards the door hoping for her to stay
in bed and not go to the stairs with Louis following after him.
 
They found Anne walking around the room with a sleepy and whiny Logan in her
arms hugging Mr. Curls with one arm and the other around Anne's neck, they
could hear her humming a lullaby but stopped when she saw them standing by the
door giving them a knowing look before she walked up to Louis giving him the
small child.
 
"I found her standing by the stairs looking for you, I'm gonna go back to
sleep." Anne said and left the room never taking her eyes off of Harry.
 
"Daddy I'm sleepy..." She mumbled hiding her face in the crook of Louis' neck.
 
"I know love, I know...let's go back to bed yeah." Louis mumbled putting her
back in the bed covering her with the blankets.
 
"Daddy my curly." Logan sat up again looking at Harry making grabby hands at
him until he walked up to her.
 
"Happy birthday sweetheart. Goodnight baby, daddy curly loves you...to the moon
and back." Harry smiled hugging her and kissing her forehead tucking her in.
 
"I love you too daddy...to the moon and back." She whispered closing her eyes.
 
He got up giving Louis a shy smile which he returned before he walked out of
the room still smiling. He was startled when he opened his bedroom door and saw
his mum standing by his old desk with her arms crossed over her chest giving
him an unknown look.
 
"Mum...What are you doing here?" Harry asked awkwardly putting his shirt back
on.
 
"I found her just as she was about to go down the stairs and you know how
dangerous that is with the way they were built. What were you two doing?" Anne
gave him a stern look.
 
"We were talking mum." Harry shrugged.
 
"Sure didn't looked like it. I couldn't find Louis and she wouldn't stop crying
for him so I picked her up and thought about bringing her to you, she's your
daughter too...And...What-what do I see?"
 
"Mum..." Harry sighed rubbing his temples.
 
"Whatever you two have needs to stop. I love both of you and I don't want you
or him to get hurt again. I-I don't wanna lose any of you Harry, think about
Logan because if this doesn't end well she's gonna suffer the most." Anne
observed her son who couldn't even look at her.
 
"I love him..." Harry whispered.
 
"Oh honey," she walked up to him holding him like a small child. "You have a
boyfriend Harry...What about him? If you break up with him is Louis willing to
give you a chance?" Anne asked.
 
"I don't know...I don't think so." Harry mumbled burying his face on her hair.
 
"I'm just trying to protect all three of you...think about your daughter. I'm
gonna go back to bed, I love you." Anne pulled back kissing his forehead.
 
"I love you too mum." Harry tried to smile.
 
He went to bed unable to push away the pain ripping through his heart knowing
his mum was right and he had to put his daughter first instead of his feelings.
Whatever it was that he had with Louis needed to stop even if it pained him to
do so.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mvehbxrHhL1qb4a7wo1_500-1_zpscfcb0b88.jpg]
      
     Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mvehbxrHhL1qb4a7wo1_500-1_zpscfcb0b88.jpg
      
     IMPORTANT: SO I THOUGHT ABOUT DOING CHARACTERS ASKS AND LYNXH THINKS
     ITS A GOOD IDEA SO I'M GONNA TRY IT, GO TO MY TUMBLR AND ASK THE
     GHOST OF YOU CHARACTERS ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE.
     My tumblr: http://meloveniall1994.tumblr.com/
     Thoughts? :)
***** My hands, your hands tied up like two ships *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry it took me longer to update, my dad threatened to cut off the
     internet and I had to limit myself and work also got in the way. But
     here it is guys, I hope you like it. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Harry groaned feeling a small weight sitting on his chest and the occasional
poke on the cheeks and hair being pulled in different directions, he sighed
when it stopped but then it continued until he opened his eyes seeing a small
blurry figure in front of him. He rubbed his eyes then opened them again seeing
a barely awake Logan with hair a mess sitting on top of him waiting for him to
wake up and cuddle her into his chest where she knew it was toasty warm like
Louis' chest then sighed getting off of him and under the covers shivering a
bit. Without saying anything Harry turned on his side facing her and wrapped
his arms around her bringing her closer to him as she sighed trying to wrap her
tiny arms around him like him huffing in annoyance when she couldn't wrap them
all the way around him.
 
"Happy happy birthday love bug, my sweet pea. I love you sweetheart." Harry
peppered her face with kisses making her squirm and push his face away.
 
"To the moon and back daddy?" Logan asked bringing her thumb to her mouth.
 
"Mhm, to the moon and back baby girl." Harry smiled hugging her even closer.
 
"Where's daddy Lou?" Harry asked after a few minutes of silence where Logan
kept moving around unable to stay still.
 
"Dunno." She mumbled pulling on Harry's eyebrows.
 
"Let's go brush our teeth then we can go look for him yeah." Harry suggested
getting up with her in his arms noticing the child proof stair gate someone had
placed on top of the stairs then walked to the bathroom in Louis' room.
 
"I don't wanna...Daddy I don't want to." Logan tried to get out of Harry's arms
to escape but Harry only held her tighter.
 
"You have to or your breath's gonna be smelly all day long." Harry grabbed her
Toy Story toothbrush and the strawberry flavored toothpaste before walking back
to the bathroom in the hallway where his toothbrush and toothpaste were.
 
Since Gemma and Louis were the older siblings they had gotten the rooms with
the bathroom attached to it back when they were younger and Harry wouldn't stop
complaining until he figured out his window was right in front of Louis' window
and the way the houses were close together it made it easier for them to sneak
into each other's room when they were still friends until they weren't anymore.
Louis had started locking his window and keeping his curtains shut afraid of
Harry hurting him again after the very first insult and beating.
 
"I don't want to!" Logan yelled when Harry set her down on top of the counter
and began putting a small amount of toothpaste on the toothbrush.
 
"Hey no yelling, you're gonna brush them anyway...see? Just like daddy." Harry
gave her the toothbrush then took his own adding toothpaste then began brushing
his teeth.
 
Logan stared at him until she slowly brought it to her mouth and began brushing
them just like Harry did and would spit out whenever Harry did announcing she
was done just as Harry began rinsing his mouth. He helped her rinse her mouth
and washed his face while she used the potty because she had to 'tinkle'
washing their hands after she was done, he was fixing her hair when he heard
Jay downstairs and could smell bacon and eggs. He put her down to put on a
shirt and watched her as she ran up to the stairs stopping at the gate and
began shaking it trying to get it open until Harry pulled her back and unlocked
it grabbing her hand to help her down chuckling when she made him stop just so
she could jump from the last step.
 
"Happy birthday love!" Louis picked her up kissing her cheek as soon as she had
stepped into the kitchen.
 
"Happy birthday baby. My gosh you're already four, you're growing up too fast."
Jay kissed her forehead.
 
"I'm a big girl Nana." Logan pointed at herself nodding.
 
"You are! Now go give Ninna a big kiss and a cuddle." Jay smiled.
 
Louis kissed her cheek one more time before he put her down again watching her
run to Anne who picked her up wishing her a happy birthday then put her down on
one of the chairs setting a plate of food in front of her. Harry took a seat
next to her and Louis sat down on her other side cutting the bacon and eggs
into smaller pieces then handed her a fork after wiping her fingers when she
had tried to eat with her hands. Harry could feel Anne's eyes on him watching
him then Louis, he looked up to see her starting at him and all he could do was
nod letting her know he had understood what she had told him the night before.
 
"Do you guys have all the party stuff? Evelyn said she would have the cake
ready this afternoon so you guys have to pick it up." Jay informed them taking
a bite of her food.
 
"I'm gonna head out to the store to get them later today...Oh and Zayn, Niall,
and Eleanor as well as Liam will get here this afternoon. I also invited a
friend of Logan's, his name is Alex...his parents said they will get here
tonight." Louis smiled.
 
"Auntie El said boys are really cute, Alex is cute," Logan giggled just as
Harry's head turned to look at her so fast he was lucky it didn't fall off.
"but boys are icky."
 
"I'm a boy too...so is daddy Lou. That means we're icky?" Harry teased.
 
"No, you're not boys...you're daddies." She shrugged making them laugh.
 
"Mum, did you put that safety gate at the top of the stairs?" Harry asked.
 
"No, it was Robin after I told him where I found her. He just doesn't want her
to get hurt...remember when you were fourteen and tripped going down the
stairs?" Anne said looking at Louis making him feel uncomfortable at the
thought of her knowing what Harry and himself were doing last night.
 
"Don't remind me, my arm still hurts when I remember." Harry shivered grabbing
his left arm by the elbow.
 
"Your whole lower arm was facing the wrong way." Anne continued trying not to
laugh.
 
"And it was just hanging." Louis joined in making Anne laugh.
 
"Stop!" Harry whined rubbing his arm.
 
"And then you could see the broken bone trying to pierce the skin." Louis kept
teasing then burst out laughing followed by Logan who had no idea why Louis was
laughing but laughed anyways.
 
"La la la la la, I can't hear you." Harry covered his ears with his hands.
 
"Stop tormenting the poor boy." Jay said giving Harry an 'I'm on your side'
look.
 
"Thank you Jay." Harry sighed eating the last bits of his food.
 
"Well...after we're done cleaning the kitchen we're off to our book club, you
boys need to get ready and buy what you need now. And don't forget to pick up
the cake, it's under Louis' name." Anne said getting up to clean the kitchen
followed by Jay.
 
After they were done eating Harry quickly made a run to the bathroom to take a
shower while Louis made a list of what he thought he would need keeping an eye
on Logan who was playing with a now wide awake Buttercup after he stopped her
from shaking him awake and were now running in circles around the room. He was
deep in thought thinking about how many of each stuff to buy when he heard the
bathroom door opening and just as he looked up he saw Harry walking out of it
with only a towel wrapped around his waist then his bedroom door closing after
himself or more like slamming it then Logan gasping because daddy slammed the
door and that's a no no with her daddy Lou. Confused he put his iPhone down
then got up heading to his room, he was just about to knock when he heard
Harry's angry voice talking to someone.
 
"My family was going to meet our daughter...it was a private family thing...He
is her dad too, it's obvious he had to be here too...Are you serious? Of course
I'm not having sex with him." Harry yelled and with that Louis headed back to
his room somehow feeling guilty yet satisfied.
 
Louis was just getting Logan ready when Harry came out of his room asking him
if he was ready and that he'll wait in the car taking Buttercup with him to put
him in the backyard but had to come back and dress Logan himself when Louis had
to take a call from David. Harry sat in the car with Logan until Louis got in
the car never turning around to check on what she was wearing. They had been
driving for a few minutes when Harry gave Louis a shy smile then turned on the
radio just as that 'God forsaken song' according to Louis came on making Logan
squeal in happiness as she began singing at the top of her lungs never missing
a word.
 
"Lou you wanna stay out with your fancy friends. I'm telling you it's gotta be
the end. Don't bring me down." She sang looking out the window while Harry
laughed and Louis narrowed his eyes thinking of something to say but kept his
mouth shut.
 
"'Arry you're always talking 'bout your crazy nights, one of these days you're
gonna get it right. Don't bring me down." Logan continued singing then giggled
when Louis began laughing at Harry's priceless face expression which was a
mixture of horror and pride.
 
"What is-Harry what is she wearing?" Louis asked eyeing Logan who was wearing
black leggings, converse shoes, a black sweater a size bigger and a red beanie
after Harry had parked and he went to get her out.
 
"We went shopping and I found that outfit, isn't it cute?" Harry beamed
gathering his wallet and keys.
 
"It is cute...you're gonna turn her into a hipster." Louis chuckled taking her
into his arms almost forgetting Mr. Curls but quickly grabbing it when Logan
called for him while Harry pushed a shopping cart towards them and Louis
quickly put her in the seat.
 
"Okay...we need plates, napkins, cups, forks, and decorations plus the fruit,
veggies and the rest of the food." Louis mumbled going over the list while
Harry pushed the cart letting Logan play a child's learning game he had
downloaded on his phone.
 
"We should get the fruit first...Logan stop licking the screen, it's got nasty
gems on it." Harry said taking the iPhone from her to clean the screen.
 
"Mine!" Logan screamed reaching for the phone catching the attention of a few
people including one both Louis and Harry knew so well, especially Harry.
 
"Don't scream Hunter, he's just gonna clean it." Louis scolded her fixing her
beanie.
 
"Daddy it's mine!" Logan insisted extending her arm to reach for it but only
managed to grab one of Harry's sleeves.
 
"What's gotten into you? Daddy's not gonna give it back if you don't stop
screaming." Louis threatened looking directly into her eyes.
 
"Well isn't she lovely." A female voice made both of them stop in their tracks
just as Harry gave the phone back.
 
"Kaci...hi!" Harry awkwardly greeted his ex fuck buddy feeling Louis tense up
next to him.
 
"Yeah, it's been a while now since I last saw you two here. Are you here to
stay?" Kaci asked and Louis wanted to roll his eyes at the way she pushed her
chest out making her breasts look bigger.
 
"No, not all. Lou, our daughter and I are just visiting for the weekend." Harry
smiled taking a step closer to Louis.
 
"Hmm...who would've thought you two would end up together and with a child, we
were all shocked when we found out from that magazine especially Jacob since
you dated him Louis. No one really knew you two had something going on back
then but I'm glad you guys are together now." She genuinely smiled surprising
Louis when she ditched the slutty attitude.
 
Uh...Thank you?" Louis said with a confused look resisting the urge to ask her
about Jacob with Harry there.
 
Jacob had been the one he would have had sex with if it wasn't for Harry
getting there with his friend Blake which was Jacob's brother and interrupted
them. Harry had pulled Jacob off of him then punched him when he walked in on
them when their shirts were already off then had dragged him out the door
taking him back to his house without saying anything. He had looked extremely
angry and somehow hurt when he dropped him off and now Louis knew why. The next
day Jacob not only had a black eye but also a busted lip he knew Harry had made
after dropping him off, he told him they couldn't be together anymore then
stopped talking to him and that was the end of it.
 
"Yeah...I know I was horrible to you back then whenever you so much looked at
Harry and I'm really sorry, I was such a b-i-t-c-h to you and I just wanted to
apologize." Kaci blushed looking down at the floor.
 
"It's-it's okay...I mean, it's in the past now." Louis smiled.
 
"You're a sweetheart, I gotta go but it was really nice to see you both and you
have a beautiful daughter." Kaci smiled.
 
"Thanks, take care." Harry said then she left waving one more time before
heading to the check out line.
 
"She apologized, Kaci Callahan actually apologized." Louis said in awe.
 
"I know..." Harry mumbled.
 
They continued shopping and soon left the store with a few bags and a sticky
Logan holding a lollipop and as soon as they got home after picking up the cake
while Harry waited in the car with Logan Harry quickly got to work peeling and
cutting fruit. Both of them had decided to have her party at Anne's house since
it was bigger while Louis tried to keep Logan out of the kitchen when she kept
coming back pulling on Harry's shirt for him to feed her fruit.
 
*~*
 
"Unca Zayn! Unca Niall!" Logan shouted abandoning Harry's lap and running to
them as soon as she heard Zayn calling for her.
 
"Happy birthday cupcake! How old are you now?" Zayn asked picking her up while
Niall quickly handed Louis and Harry the presents they had gotten for her so
they could hide them.
 
"Daddy Lou says I'm four." Logan answered holding up three fingers making him
chuckle.
 
"You mean four tiny fingers cupcake." Zayn smiled lifting one of her fingers up
to make four then counted them together shouting the 'four' at the end.
 
"I think uncle Niall wants a cuddle. Here's the birthday girl uncle Niall."
Zayn smiled giving her to him.
 
"Happy birthday monster, give me a good cuddle...I missed you." Niall hugged
her tight.
 
They had gone back to Louis' house after Harry was done making fruit kabobs
waiting for his sisters to get home so they could leave her with them and go
back to put up some decorations and hide the stash of presents up in Lottie's
room knowing Logan wouldn't go there. They could hear Eleanor arriving when
Logan started shouting that she missed her and now she had six aunties and for
uncles when Liam arrived an hour later showering her with kisses.
 
"I'm ready to paint faces." Zayn announced tackling Louis down on the couch as
soon as Lottie had taken Logan to the backyard.
 
"Ow! Malik that hurt." Louis whined rubbing his stomach where Zayn's elbow had
landed while Harry stared at the way Louis rubbed it.
 
"Oh quit it Tommo, it wasn't that bad." Zayn playfully rolled his eyes.
 
"That's a sensitive area." Louis grumbled fighting a smile.
 
"So you guys have everything ready?" Niall asked Louis and Harry.
 
"Yeah, party starts at noon." Harry answered smiling then frowned when he went
back to texting.
 
"Everything okay Haz?" Liam asked.
 
"Yeah, everything's okay." Harry said while Louis eyed him with a knowing look.
 
Louis fiddled with his fingers as he wondered if Harry had told Drew about the
kisses they had shared and if they were fighting because of him. He wanted to
feel guilty for possibly ruining their relationship but he didn't cared at all
about it when he had that tiny bit of hope that he might be able to forgive
Harry and be with him one day, yet he knew that even though Harry still loved
him he wasn't going to wait forever for him and one day he might actually
settle down with Drew or someone else.
 
"Daaddyy!" Logan's hysterical cries filled the awkward silence that had filled
the room.
 
"What's wrong?" Louis immediately got up taking her from a nervous looking
Lottie.
 
"She was running around and Buttercup accidentally tripped her, she fell and
hit her chin and her knee's bleeding." She explained while Harry checked her
knee to see how bad the injury was.
 
"I'll go get the first aid kit." Lottie mumbled leaving Logan in Louis' arms
while the rest of the adults hovered over her trying to calm her down.
 
She came back holding a small bag giving it to Louis then walked away to check
on the twins while Louis tried to give her to Harry so he could clean the wound
but end it up giving him the bag when Logan refused to let go of him pulling on
his shirt. Zayn, Niall, Liam and Eleanor decided to leave since it was getting
a bit late leaving them to deal with her loud cries when Harry began cleaning
the wound with water then an alcohol swab when Louis told him it was starting
to get infected making her scream louder kicking at Harry to make him stop.
Once he was done he applied a numbing cream then a hello kitty bandaid over it.
 
"Shh, you're all better now." Louis hugged her against his chest rubbing her
back.
 
"I think we should just get her home and in bed." Harry suggested picking up
all the stuff he had used and Louis nodded noticing she was starting to fall
asleep from all the crying.
 
"I'm gonna go tell mum and dad we're leaving." Louis got up leaving Harry to
collect Buttercup.
 
Once they were back Louis left a wide awake Logan on the bed watching a Disney
movie with Harry in his laptop while he took a shower letting the warm water
relax his muscles after a long day and after he was done he changed into his
pajamas and came out of the bathroom noticing Harry on his back and Logan
sitting on his stomach feeding each other small pieces of fruit he had left for
her and the rest of the family including Louis' and the laptop resting on top
of a pillow next to them. He walked downstairs to get some tea wanting to leave
them alone spending time together then almost turned around when he saw Anne
preparing a cup for herself but changed his mind when she noticed him and gave
him a tiny comforting smile.
 
"Hi love! How's the munckin?"
 
"She's better now...she's upstairs watching a movie with Harry." Louis smiled
taking a seat in front of her taking the cup she offered to him.
 
"Poor baby, hated hearing her crying like that." Anne sighed.
 
"It was more shock than actual pain, us freaking out didn't really helped
either." Louis gave her a tiny smile because he knew the only reason she had
cried like that was because everyone had been hovering making it look worse.
 
"Now that we're alone I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for giving my Harry
a chance and for letting us be a part of her life, I can see its really hard
for you but thank you." Anne gave him a watery smile.
 
"You-you don't have to thank me." Louis stuttered taken aback by her words and
unable to say anything else.
 
"What he did was just...just unacceptable and I'm really sorry I never noticed
because if I had them you-and I understand that you hated him and left." Anne
wiped away a few tears that had escaped feeling ashamed of Harry's past
actions.
 
"I-I never hated him, I just hated what he did but at the time I was too hurt
to realize it. I've never told anyone this but one of the many reasons why I
kept her was because I knew that at least I'll have something that belonged to
him and that baby would love me back as much as I did." Louis confessed trying
not to cry but knew he had failed when the hot tears rolled down his cheeks.
 
"Oh sweetheart, I'm really sorry. Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive
him?"
 
"I don't know...I just need time, but we get along more...and-and I know he's
not gonna hurt me or Logan. He's a great dad and she just adores him." Louis
smiled taking a sip from the tea.
 
"I honestly wouldn't hold it against you if you never forgive him." Anne sighed
then stayed silent until they finished their tea and Anne went to bed while
Louis just headed back to his room to give Logan a bath.
 
When Louis got back he found the bed empty but could hear Logan's giggles
coming from the bathroom, the door was left ajar and he could see Harry
kneeling next to the bathtub holding a Barbie doll making her talk using the
highest pitched voice he could come up with while Logan waited for him to
finish talking for the doll so she could do the same with hers.
 
"Oh Kelly I love your hair...maybe we should put some clothes on." Harry moved
the Barbie around eyeing the weird skinny plastic body.
 
"Daddy no! I'm Valerie and you're Kelly." Logan pouted narrowing her eyes at
him.
 
"Oh...sorry love bug." Harry quickly apologized.
 
Louis could see toys floating around on the water surrounded by bubbles and her
pink towel on top of the toilet lid then he could see Harry grabbing a crayola
box of crayons taking them out showing them to her. He could hear her squealing
grabbing a purple one while Harry pointed to the tile walls telling her she
could draw anything she wanted and that's when Louis decided to walk in.
 
"Harry what are you doing?" Louis asked just as Harry was about to finish
drawing a flower.
 
"I uh...I was just giving her a bath." Harry nervously said while Logan ignored
them and continued drawing or trying to draw a flower like Harry's.
 
"I know that, I meant the crayons." Louis smiled a little.
 
"Oh. I got them earlier today...they're bathtub crayons and I thought she'll
love to draw on the tile walls." Harry explained relaxing when Louis didn't
started yelling at him for giving her a bath.
 
"Okay...can...can I join?" Louis asked.
 
"Yeah, of course!" Harry exclaimed moving a little to make space for him.
 
Louis knelt down next to him grabbing a dark blue crayon slowly bringing it up
to where it almost touched the tile but froze while Harry eyed him nervously
then smiled when Louis began drawing loving the way it felt after four years of
avoiding anything that had to do with drawing much less painting. He found
himself drawing Jessie from Toy Story and smiled when Logan gasped looking at
his drawing stopping what she was doing just to watch him draw her favorite
character.
 
"Daddy I love it." Logan smiled after Louis was done.
 
"It's for you love...here, give me your hand and I'll help you draw her." Louis
said then took her hand and began guiding it to help her draw her while Harry
just sat there and smiled noticing the way Louis' eyes shined.
 
*~*
 
The next day as soon as Louis woke up exactly at eight in the morning Logan was
still asleep next to him, he looked around then got up heading to the bathroom
to take a shower smiling when he saw the tile walls covered in drawings Harry,
Logan, and himself had drawn the night before. He took his time knowing that if
Logan was to wake up while he was still showering then she'll go to Harry and
sit on top of him until he woke up after Harry had told him about her waking
him up the day before. The day turned out to be more hectic than what they
thought it would be when Logan refused to stay with Lottie, Fizz, and the twins
throwing a tantrum that consisted of laying on the floor screaming and crying
whenever Louis and Harry so much moved an inch until Louis had enough and
picked her up having no choice but to bring her with them scolding her all the
way back to Anne's house.
 
While he finished the last of the decorations around the house Harry got the
mini grilled sandwiches ready to go into the oven later on while Anne and Jay
helped with the veggie dips. They could hear Logan ordering Buttercup to stop
licking her papa's shoe because that wasn't nice then her asking her poppy to
hold her because he needed a good cuddle like the ones her daddies gave her.
Gemma had gotten there a few minutes later attacking her with kisses at the
same time Eleanor did and together had made it their duty to get her ready and
around noon the kids started arriving with their mums each carrying a present
handing it to Louis or Harry while Logan waved at them giving them her biggest
smile making the mums coo at her telling them what a gorgeous daughter they
had.
 
"Happy birthday Logan." Alex smiled handing her a present wrapped in Jesse's
wrapping paper making her cheeks go a little rosy.
 
She took his hand and dragged him to where Zayn and Gemma were stationed
painting the kid's faces as Harry followed them with his eyes, his gaze focused
on their entwined hands making Louis chuckle at the idea of Harry already not
letting boys close to her.
 
"Thanks again for inviting him." Brian smiled taking David's hand.
 
"That's all he talked about this morning, he was so excited." David continued
watching his son getting his face painted by Zayn who was painting the boy's
faces.
 
"Thank you for coming, come on in...let us introduce you to the family." Louis
guided them towards the kitchen to introduce them and offer the food they had
made for the adults while kids ran around either waiting in line for Zayn and
Gemma to paint their faces or joining the different games hosted by Niall,
Liam, Lottie and Eleanor and as far as they could tell the kids were having
fun.
 
Harry waited until Anne was busy with the food while Jay made conversation with
David and Brian then took Louis' hand taking him upstairs to his room closing
the door after them and began searching his bag while Louis waited with
anticipation as to what Harry had for him. A few seconds later Harry turned
around to look at Louis holding a wrapped present with his name on it and
smiled giving it to him.
 
"What's this for?" Louis asked shaking it trying to guess what it was.
 
"I know your birthday was two months ago but I-I wanted to give you something."
Harry explained blushing a bit.
 
He watched as Louis carefully opened it smiling a bit and his smile widened
when he saw what it was, he put the wrapping paper on Harry's desk never taking
his eyes off of the picture frame he was holding. It was a picture of a smiling
Logan with a peacock butterfly testing at the tip of her nose then remembered
it was from when they had gone to the zoo, how had Harry managed to take a
picture that fast and still look perfect he had no idea but he absolutely loved
it.
 
"Wow...Thank you! I love it, thank you." Louis smiled and without thinking he
ran to Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist resting his head on his
chest smiling when Harry wrapped his arms around his shoulders pulling him
closer to him.
 
"Louis! Time to sing happy birthday to cupcake." Zayn yelled from somewhere
just as Harry started leaning in when Louis had looked up at him.
 
They quickly separated trying to act as if they had not been about to kiss
again then Louis took a deep breath before he walked out of the room followed
by Harry only to find Zayn standing by the door of Louis' bedroom waiting for
them with his arms crossed over his chest.
 
"Thanks again for the picture Harry." Louis smiled.
 
"You're welcome."
 
"What picture?" Zayn asked eyeing Harry suspiciously.
 
"This picture, I just love it!" Louis gave Zayn the picture waiting for him to
flip at how cute it was.
 
"Wha-oh my God! Aww." Zayn cooed looking at it.
 
"Harry took it." Louis bragged like a proud mother.
 
"Wow, this is amazing. You're so talented Harry." Zayn genuinely smiled at
Harry for the very first time giving the picture back to Louis.
 
"Thanks."
 
"We should go 'cause Eleanor and Gemma are trying to keep her away from the
cake but that girl is so stubborn." Zayn laughed walking down the stairs.
 
*~*
 
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Logan, happy
birthday to you." Everyone sang then clapped as Louis set the cake in front of
her with four blue candles smiling and remembering how he and Harry had fought
because Harry wanted all of them in a straight line and he wanted them in pairs
of two one in front of the other and at the end he had won.
 
"Make a wish baby." Louis said watching her close her eyes and wish just like
he had thought her smiling at Harry who was ready to take millions of pictures.
She opened her eyes trying to blow the candles and Louis ended up helping her
when her little puffs of air weren't enough.
 
"What did you wish for baby?" Louis asked knowing she wasn't going to budge and
tell him.
 
"A baby brother, Cassandra has one. Daddy I want one too." Logan answered
referring to the five year old girl she had adopted into hers and Alex's group,
the three of them playing and sitting next to her.
 
Louis' eyes widened then looked up to see Harry looking a little pale looking
everywhere else but at Louis then Cassandra's mum holding a small baby in a
bundle of blue blankets smiling down at them. He cleared his throat and smiled
at Logan who had a hopeful look on her face making him feel bad because he knew
that wish would probably never become true.
 
"Boys could you stand next to her so Gemma can take a picture?" Anne asked
breaking the small tension taking Harry's camera from him then giving it to
Gemma.
 
Harry knelt down on her right giving her a kiss on the cheek while Louis knelt
down on her left wrapping his arm around her tiny back while Harry did the
same. To everybody else it looked like they just wanted to hug her but it
wasn't just for that to Harry and Louis, they smiled leaning their heads closer
to Logan's and posed for the picture wanting it to be perfect. With their hands
intertwined together in a tight lock behind her back and out of sight to the
rest of them they waited for Gemma to take the very first picture of the three
of them together. The very first picture where Louis didn't felt sad at not
having Harry there and sad in general but felt happy because he was there and
he didn't had to feel that fear he used to. It was the very first picture where
Logan finally had her two daddies instead of only one and they were both
genuinely smiling again.
Chapter End Notes
      [ photo tumblr_mwwq3pzNFl1ruh0f0o2_500_zps7ef260fe.jpg]
      
     Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mwwq3pzNFl1ruh0f0o2_500_zps7ef260fe.jpg
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** Trouble is a friend and he's a sucker for her charm* *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Louis' eyes snapped open realizing he had fallen asleep halfway through his
conversation with Harry and looked around noticing they were still in the car
so that meant they weren't in London yet. He couldn't hear Logan or the dog in
the backseat assuming they were asleep since it was already ten at night and
she was exhausted after the long day, he just hoped for Anna to be free the
next day which was a Monday since Harry had to work and he had to be away all
day for the photo shoot of a new clothing line for both men and women. After
her party was over and everyone had gone home including David, Brian and Alex
they had spent the day with their families and friends while Logan played with
some of the toys she had gotten.
He had gotten her a necklace with her first and second name initials, a tabeo
tablet and purple and pink Tom's because he just had to. He smiled remembering
how Harry had gotten her an A-Z puzzle, art supplies for kids and the one he
had been excited about for her to open- a playskool showman two in one digital
camera and projector because 'who knows Louis, she might like photography or
and be artistic like you'. After Logan had opened it she had squealed because
she too had a camera like daddy curly and brushes to paint like daddy Lou had
in the basement that she liked. She had taken pictures of everyone and
everything like nobody's business with Harry's help then would take her time to
add animations to project them later on. They had left Doncaster with the
promise of visiting again or have them visit them in London but to never go a
long time without seeing each other and after Louis had washed the bathtub not
wanting to leave it like that much to Anne's protests.
"Are we almost there?" Louis mumbled.
"Twenty more minutes. Did you call Logan's babysitter?"
"Yeah...I'm gonna drop her off at Anna's flat because her car broke down and I
sent her a text with your number in case Logan needs something...I won't be
able to answer mine. Hope you don't mind..." Louis looked at Harry slightly
embarrassed for not asking if it was okay.
"I don't mind at all. Did you-did you tell her who I am?" Harry asked looking
at Louis then focused his eyes back on the road.
"I told her and last time Logan stayed with her she wouldn't stop talking about
you. Kept bragging because Anna Banana only has one daddy and she has two."
Louis chuckled making Harry feel all warm inside.
Twenty minutes later Harry parked his car helping Louis carry all of their
stuff plus Logan's birthday presents which were quite a few and after kissing
Logan goodnight and giving Louis a long hug he left taking a quick shower and
falling asleep in record time after he got home and had dumped his bags by his
bedroom door.
*~*
"Harry someone keeps calling you and its ten past two already, you said you
were leaving at two." Grace, his assistant walked in where Harry was picking
his stuff up after a photoshoot with an annoying model who didn't get the fact
that he likes dick no matter how many times he told her.
"I'm about to leave Grace...You can go now if you want to. Thanks." Harry
smiled taking his phone from her.
After he had loaded all his stuff in his car he scrolled through his two missed
calls from an unknown number and hesitantly called back, once the person
answered he could hear who he recognized as Logan crying in the background and
a female voice gently murmuring comforting words.
"Hello?" Harry frantically said getting worried.
"Is this Harry Styles? Logan's other dad?" She asked.
"Yeah this is he, what's wrong?"
"It's Anna, Logan's babysitter. She- it's okay sweety, daddy's coming- she woke
up from her nap vomiting and had a slight fever. I tried calling Louis but he
won't answer, I would take her to her doctor but I don't have a car right now."
Anna explained then Harry could hear his daughter vomiting then letting out a
loud wail.
"Could you give me your address?" Harry asked trying not to panic.
After Anna had given him her address he broke a few traffic laws in order to
get there as fast as he could then nearly jumped out of his car and finally
frantically knocked on the door. A blond, short and tired looking girl opened
the door giving him a confused look until she recognized him now knowing where
Logan had gotten her looks from and without saying anything she let him in
taking him to the small living room where Logan was laying down on the couch
with her blanket over her.
"Daddy..." Logan cried louder extending her arms as soon as she saw Harry
showing him she wanted to be picked up.
"Hi bug...what's wrong?" Harry mumbled picking her up noticing how warm she
was.
"Nasty water's coming out daddy." She cried wrapping her arms around his neck
and resting her head on his shoulder shaking a bit while Harry rubbed her tiny
back.
"Could you do me a favor?" Harry asked Anna then continued talking when she
nodded, "Could you go with us to the doctor? I really don't know where Louis
takes her, she had never gotten sick while I was with her and I really don't
know what to do."
"Of course, let me just grab my coat." Anna quickly said sensing the
desperation in his voice.
"Thank you, I promise I'll bring you back." Harry sighed bending down to pick
up Logan's shoes to put them on her feet.
When Anna came back Harry already had a bundled up Logan in his arms waiting
for Anna and before they left she covered her with her blanket not wanting the
cold air to make her feel worse. Harry quickly drove to the hospital following
Anna's directions and as soon as they were there Harry tried to get Logan
without waking her up but sighed when she began crying and calling for Louis.
Harry barely had time to run to a nearby trashcan when Logan started throwing
up again while Harry held her with one arm and rubbed her back with the other
until she was done then started crying again while Harry gave her water to
rinse her mouth with.
They walked to the emergency room where they were quickly taken to a room to
give her fluids and Harry had almost shouted at them to stop when Logan was
practically screaming and thrashing while the nurse inserted an I.V. then set
up a drip to keep her from dehydrating but stopped himself knowing it was for
her own good no matter how many times Logan called for him to make them stop.
Almost an hour later she was diagnosed with the stomach flu then was released
from the hospital with a Toy Story band aid over her hand where the I.V. had
been and a prescription Harry had to fill and instructions on how to take care
of her, he dropped Anna off back at her flat thanking her a million times for
helping him then headed back to his flat only making a stop to get her
medicine.
By the time he got to his flat it was already four and he had already sent
Louis a text telling him she was with him and what had happened while Logan was
asleep next to him resting her head on his lap looking a little less pale than
she had when he had picked her up. He couldn't continue enjoying the peace and
quietness when Logan woke up crying for Louis not wanting Harry to even touch
her when he tried to pick her up, he tried not to feel hurt when she rejected
him knowing she was sick and fussy but it still hurt no matter how hard he
tried.
"I'll be right back sweety." Harry got up wanting to go to the bathroom but
stopped when she began crying not wanting him to leave.
That's how he spent the next hour dealing with his daughter who didn't want him
to hold her at all but refused to let him out of her sight every time Harry
even moved an inch saying that if he left the nasty water was going to comeback
again referring to her throwing up. By five Harry was sitting on one end of the
couch watching a shitty tv show while Logan was sitting on the other with
recent tear tracks on her cheeks after crying for twenty minutes wanting Louis
to get there and cuddle her, at that point Harry was beyond frustrated and he
too just wanted Louis to get there so he could calm her down.
*~*
"Thank God you're here! She's been crying non-stop for you for the past hour
and won't even let me touch her." Harry sighed letting Louis in.
"She doesn't want anyone but me when she's sick. What did the doctor say?"
Louis asked taking in Harry's disheveled hair and tired expression.
"Stomach flu. Probably ate something that wasn't good anymore, he gave her some
antibiotics...also...Anna had to sign her release form because she's in her
emergency contacts list and I'm not, legally I am not her father and have no
rights over her." Harry explained feeling a lump forming in his throat.
"But you are her father...she's as much yours as she's mine." Louis quickly
said feeling bad.
"I know." Harry tried to smile but it quickly faltered.
"Daddy..."
Louis turned around to see Logan clumsily running up to him making grabby hands
at him. He picked her up noticing the tiny dark circles under her eyes then
kissed the top of her head before she hid her face on his neck as he rubbed her
back watching Harry walk towards the bathroom closing the door after himself,
he was about to sit down on the couch when Harry's phone began vibrating and he
rolled his eyes seeing it was an incoming call from Drew. He grabbed the phone
sliding his thumb over the red circle instead of the green then put it back
where it was taking a seat on the couch. He began to get frustrated when Drew
kept calling over and over and Logan wouldn't stop crying because of a tummy
ache and when he decided he had had enough he answered holding Logan with one
arm.
"Hello?" Louis answered just as his daughter calmed down a bit.
"Lov- who is this?" Drew asked.
"It's Louis."
"Why are you answering his phone? Where is he?"
"He's in the bathroom and I answered because you just won't stop calling, don't
worry...he'll call back." Louis said then hung up not wanting to talk to him
anymore.
After he hung up he heard the doorbell and groaned not believing that Drew was
actually already there, he got up to open the door relaxing when he saw Liam
holding a bag and Zayn, Niall and Eleanor behind him.
"What are you guys doing here?" Louis asked letting them in shifting Logan's
limp body around.
"Harry texted me to tell me she's sick then I called them, we got you food."
Liam answered just as Harry came back.
"Oh hey guys." He half smiled noticing Logan was asleep again.
"Can she sleep in your bed?" Louis asked and followed Harry when he nodded.
"That won't be necessary...I kinda have a room for her." Harry blushed opening
a door gesturing for Louis to walk in.
The room was furnished in white furniture, a twin size bed against the wall in
the middle of the room with a white duvet with butterflies on it. The walls
were painted a light purple with a few framed pictures of different species of
butterflies, there was a small desk on the other side of the room filled with
different art supplies and in the corner was a small table and four chairs then
a toy box with her name on the front.
"You did all of this?" Louis asked feeling all warm inside.
"Yeah, took me a while but I finished it. I was hoping you would let her spend
the night in the near future." Harry smiled removing a few pillows from the bed
fixing it then Louis tucked her in feeling her forehead finding out she wasn't
warm anymore.
"Sure, she can spend it when she gets better." Louis said.
They went back to the living room where Liam was busy talking about wanting to
have a camping trip as Harry took the food passing a to go box to Louis who
took it sitting next to him.
"Well I'm in. It's been too long since I've gone camping." Eleanor smiled
widely.
"Count us in." Niall said pointing at Zayn and himself who nodded
enthusiastically.
"C'mon Lou, I know you love camping and this could be a great experience for
Logan, she's never gone camping before." Eleanor pleaded when Louis declined.
"But she's sick." Louis argued.
"It won't be for another week or two, that gives her time to get better." Liam
explained.
"...Okay...Are you going Harry?" Louis asked and just as he was about to answer
the doorbell sounded around the flat and Harry quickly got up to get it to keep
it from waking Logan up.
They continued talking about the trip while Harry attended whoever was at the
door and after ten minutes Louis got tired of waiting and shouted at him if he
was gonna go camping with them or not, he regretted shouting it when Drew
walked in pulling Harry by the hand behind them. Louis swallowed a lump forming
on his throat when he noticed them holding hands then looked away just as Harry
let go of him and stood awkwardly next to him.
"You're going camping babe?" Drew asked making Louis finch at the word.
"Uh yeah."
"Who else is going?"
"All of us...And Logan." Harry answered.
"Aren't you gonna invite me?" Drew looked up at Harry as he and everyone else
internally groaned.
"If- if you want to go you can." Harry said.
"Great!" Drew smiled wrapping his hands around his waist and all Louis could do
was look away until he heard Logan crying again.
"We're gonna go...bye Harry." Louis said coming back carrying a fussy little
girl in his arms then walked towards the door.
"Lou wait!" Harry almost yelled lightly pushing Drew away.
Louis noticed Drew couldn't see them anymore and relaxed while he listened to
Harry telling him the instructions the doctor had given him and what to do in
case she got worse which he doubted since she wasn't throwing up as often as
she had been.
"Bye lovebug. I love you...to the moon and back." Harry said leaning in to kiss
her cheek from where she was resting her head on Louis' collarbone then quickly
gave Louis a small kiss on the lips startling him but then smiled a little.
"I'll see you later Lou, call me if anything happens." Harry smiled.
"Love you daddy." Logan sighed.
"Love you more." Harry said.
"I'll see you later." Louis smiled wrapping his free arm around Harry's waist
while Harry wrapped his arms around them.
They quickly let go when they heard voices getting closer seeing it was Niall,
Zayn, Eleanor and Liam who ended up leaving at the same time leaving Harry
alone with Drew while Louis tried to ignore the thought of them doing something
else other than snuggling together on the couch as he gave Logan a quick bath
then her medicine.
*~*
"Daddy we go camping today?" Logan asked bouncing up and down with excitement
while Louis packed a bag with clothes and necessary items from the list Liam
had sent him.
"Mhm, are you excited?" Louis smiled finishing what he was doing.
"Yes. Is daddy curly coming too?"
"Yeah...but he's not driving there with us." Louis frowned.
A week later after that day when arranging who was gonna drive with who Drew
had immediately announced that he would be driving Harry leaving Louis to take
his own car while Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor decided to ride with Liam. Louis
needed to take his own car in case something happened which he was hoping it
wouldn't.
"Why?" Logan asked wrapping her arm around Louis' thigh looking up at him.
"Because daddy is driving there with Drew." He explained picking her up.
"Daddy curly calls him asshole." Logan giggled remembering when Harry had
called him that then after she had repeated the word Harry had freaked out
telling her not to say it again.
"Daddy called him that?" Louis asked.
"Mhm." Logan lightly kicked his stomach to let him know she wanted to be put
down.
It was still early in the morning when Louis left London and an hour and twenty
minutes later he arrived in Forgewood where they were supposed to meet and
while he unbuckled Logan he scanned the area noticing Drew standing way too
close to Harry with Eleanor glaring at him while Harry awkwardly stood in
between them. He could see Niall, Liam, and Zayn unloading bags from the car
and as quickly as he could he grabbed her and the bags locking the car and
walked up to them stopping only because Logan wanted Buttercup too sniff around
in peace as she tightly held his leash even though it was wrapped around her
wrist.
"Daddy!" She squealed running up to him hugging his legs and pushing Drew away
who glared at her thinking no one was looking but completely oblivious to
Eleanor's murderous glares.
"Hi lovebug, daddy missed you cause he hasn't seen you in forever." Harry bent
down to pick her up leaving a two month old Buttercup in the ground who wasn't
as small as he used to be while Louis waved back at Harry fondly rolling his
eyes because he had seen her the day before and he was just exaggerating.
"Okay guys...I brought four tents, Zayn and Niall are sharing, El you're
sharing with Louis and marshmallow?...Okay. Harry I take it your sharing with
Drew and not me anymore?" Liam asked.
"He is." Drew answered before Harry could making Zayn glare at him.
"Alright...we should go...we still have to walk a little to get there." Liam
said taking the lead with Harry and Drew following then Zayn and Niall ending
with Louis and Eleanor walking together behind them.
"I can't stand Harry's bitch, he's so annoying...You should've seen him when an
innocent bug landed on him, freaked out to no end." Eleanor rolled her eyes.
"Wow...I don't think he's used to being out in the wilderness." Louis stifled a
laugh watching his daughter walking next to Harry holding his hand and pulling
on the leash with the other.
They made it to the campsite in no time where Liam quickly got to work setting
up the tents with Harry and Zayn's help while Eleanor looked around with Logan,
Drew did nothing and Louis and Niall tried to clear their campsite. They were
startled when Drew let out a scream and turned to look at him trying to shake
something off while Logan stood next to him laughing because daddy's boyfriend
looked funny.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked walking up to him grabbing him shaking off a
harmless spider off of his shoulder.
"Why don't you..." Drew took a deep breath, "...why don't you ask your kid." He
finished then glared at Logan who was hiding behind Harry's legs smiling
mischievously at him.
"Hey don't look at her like that." Harry hissed grabbing Drew's arm in a tight
grip.
"She threw a damn spider at me...You know I hate them." Drew said through
gritted teeth while the rest of the group tried not to laugh.
Harry sighed then crouched down to Logan's level, "Logan...sweetheart did you
threw that spider at him?" Harry asked looking at her with a serious look.
"No...she was my friend daddy, I wanted to show him my friend. Auntie El said
she was cute..." Logan's eyes began watering looking at Harry with wide
innocent green/blue eyes and pouty lips making Harry feel like shit for even
thinking she could be capable of even having bad intentions.
"See? She didn't mean to, she was just trying to show you the spider." Harry
got up after kissing Logan's forehead.
"She threw it at me! How is that showing me a spider." Drew snapped.
"She's four years old for God's sake and I believe her so calm down, it was
just a harmless spider." Harry said then went back to helping Liam set up
Louis' tent missing Eleanor and Logan high fiving each other then Eleanor
smirking.
After that Logan got tired of walking around and walked up to Louis who was
sitting on a foldable chair and sat on his lap watching Harry trying to set up
a tent by himself then both of them laughed every time it came down again until
Louis got up to help him, it was already getting dark when Niall and Louis lit
up the campfire using a teepee structure missing the way Drew glared at Louis
when Harry high fived him and Niall.
"Sugarplum, come sit next to me so I can fix your hair." Eleanor smiled patting
the spot next to her smiling wider when she sat down next to her.
"Are you having fun pretty?" Eleanor asked while braiding her hair.
"Yes...but I'm sleepy." Logan yawned petting Buttercup who was always by her
side.
"We'll go to bed soon but...Don't tell your daddies I told you this okay?"
"Okay."
"Daddy curly has to sleep with you and daddy Louis because he feels lonely and
doesn't like sleeping alone, he would like it very much if he sleeps with you
and cuddles you and daddy Louis. You promise you're gonna make daddy curly
sleep with you?" Eleanor held out her pinkie.
"I promise. He never sleeps with me and daddy Lou." Logan sighed linking her
pinkie with Eleanor's
"That's my girl!" Eleanor kissed her cheek looking at Drew hating the way he
looked at Louis and Logan like they were the scum of the earth.
*~*
"Daddy you sleep with me okay." Logan pulled on Harry's fingers as soon as
everyone decided to go to bed.
"Sorry bug but I can't, auntie El is sleeping with you and daddy." Harry sighed
wishing it was him instead of her.
"I want you to sleep with me and we cuddle." Logan pouted pulling him harder
but Harry didn't even move an inch.
"I'm sorry love..."
"Noooo...I want you to sleep with me." Logan began crying clinging to Harry's
arm refusing to let go.
"I can share with Liam...look at her Harry, she's crying." Eleanor gave him the
saddest look while Zayn mouthed a 'what's going on?' to her.
"Baby, daddy can't sleep with us." Louis knelt down next to her.
"He never sleeps with me and cuddles me." Logan wailed repeating what Eleanor
had told her to say giving them the saddest look.
"Okay okay, I'll sleep with you and cuddle you." Harry immediately gave in.
"Harry...?" Drew made them remember he was still there.
"Just for tonight Drew, you know I hate seeing her cry." Harry said in a tone
it meant it wasn't open for discussion.
"Fine! Do whatever you want." Drew sighed then walked up to his tent he had
chosen because it was the farthest away from Louis' and now his choice was
coming back to bite him in the ass.
"You don't mind?" Harry asked Louis after Drew had gone inside.
"No." Louis smiled.
"Alright well Niall and I are gonna go to bed. Goodnight...goodnight cupcake."
Zayn kissed her cheek.
"Night uncle Zayn." Logan kissed him back finally pronouncing uncle correctly.
"Night monster."
"Night uncle Niall." Logan giggled.
"We should go to bed too." Eleanor said to Liam who nodded then led her to his
tent after saying their goodnights.
"We...uh, we should go to bed too." Louis said then followed Harry and Logan
inside their tent.
Louis laid down on one side and Harry on the other with Logan in between them
as the three of them shared two sleeping bags, one as a makeshift mattress and
the other to cover themselves while Logan also had her blanket, Mr. Curls and
Buttercup with her. Harry had never felt so at home as he did in that moment
feeling Logan's hand wrap around his shirt unable to see her since it was
almost dark but he could hear Louis humming a lullaby to get her to sleep as
her grip slowly loosened up until her hand was only resting on his arm. He
snuggled up closer to her making out the outline of her head resting on Louis'
chest then wrapped his arm around her slightly touching Louis' stomach.
"Sorry..." Harry quickly pulled away feeling his cheeks heating up.
"It's okay...You can hug her you know." Louis quietly chuckled grabbing Harry's
arm wrapping it around her while he brushed his fingers through her hair with
his other hand.
Harry smiled scooting closer to them resting his head next to Logan's kissing
the back of it, he fell asleep with a tiny smile on his face feeling like
that's how he was supposed to fall asleep every night and not alone in his king
size bed. The next morning he woke up it was to Logan sleeping on top of him,
Buttercup by his head and Louis next to with his arm wrapped around them and
his head resting on the spot where his neck ended and his shoulder started.
Harry had one arm over Logan and the other underneath Louis holding him close
to him and sighed in content wondering when all of them had moved around to
wake up like this, he looked at his phone seeing it was still seven in the
morning then closed his eyes going back to sleep pulling Louis closer to him
after noticing how peaceful he looked and his long eyelashes fanning over his
cheeks much like Logan's. The next time Harry woke up at the same time as Louis
it was to see Logan sitting on his stomach singing the ABC just like Louis had
taught her a few days earlier while she brushed Buttercup's fur, the dog
patiently sitting in front of her staring up at her until she was done then
reached into her bag pulling out a small blue bow clipping it to the fur on the
side of his neck next to his collar.
"What a cutie...mummy made you look so cute. Mummy loves you okay? Okay." Logan
cooed grabbing him by the nuzzle to kiss him in between his ears and he licked
her face while Louis and Harry stared at her then at each other having just
witnessed the exchange.
"Morning grandpa." Harry said trying not to laugh.
"Morning! Guess who gets to take his favorite grandchild out to do his
business." Louis smiled giving him the leash getting comfortable under the
covers.
Harry grumbled getting up take him out but not before he gave Logan a big good
morning kiss leaving her cuddling next to Louis while she sang her ABC's to
him. As soon as everyone was awake and had had breakfast with Logan managing to
spill her Apple juice on Drew by accident and he had glared at her until
Buttercup moved to stand in front of her barking at Drew in a way Louis nor
everyone else had heard him bark before until Drew went to change his jeans.
They managed to have a successful walk except for Drew annoying everyone by
looking at his surroundings with disgust and trying to keep Harry away from
Louis while Eleanor and Zayn whispered to each other how much they couldn't
stand him at all.
Once they were back to their campsite was when all hell broke loose and Liam
regretted ever telling Drew to at least gather some wood for the fire so he and
Eleanor could cook lunch knowing Louis had already volunteered wearing the
biggest smile. Harry who was sitting with Logan on his lap trying to convince
her to let another spider she had found go home watched them as they left
feeling uneasiness settling down on his stomach then went back to trying while
Logan had the spider trapped in her hands close to her chest refusing to let it
go much less letting Harry see it.
*~*
"There's another one right there." Louis pointed to a piece of dried wood
bending down to pick up another.
"You need to stay the fuck away from him." Drew said out of nowhere.
"Excuse me?" Louis turned to look at him.
"You heard me. Do you think I don't know what you're doing." Drew walked up to
Louis standing in front of him.
"And what exactly is that may I ask?" Louis tried to control his anger.
"Using your spoiled brat of a daughter to get him get back with you. Your
'fling' or whatever it was that you two had ended four years ago so get over it
because there is nothing special between you two anymore." Drew almost growled.
"We have a daughter together. What do you two have that's so special? His dick
up your ass? 'Cause trust me, if that's it then it's not so special after all."
Louis smiled sweetly at him.
"Just like it was up yours but you know? At least I'll have the decency to not
get pregnant just to trap him like you did and it didn't even work because he
ended up leaving you and your twat anyway." Drew smirked.
"Shut up...You don't know shit about me." Louis took a step back feeling like
he was suffocating because that's not how it had happened at all.
"You're just a slut, a slut who couldn't even give him the son he's always
wanted and who knows, I might be able to but at least I'll wait and not get
pregnant first chance I get." Drew continued with his taunting.
Louis hated himself the moment he felt the hot tears rolling down his cheeks
because it was true, Harry had always wanted a son and all he had managed to
give him was a daughter who he had kept away and a secret from Harry until he
couldn't anymore. He cried because he wasn't a slut, he never asked for it and
he certainly never asked to get pregnant.
"You're nothing but a cockslut." Drew continued smirking but it was soon wiped
off when Louis punched him on the nose as hard as he could then walked off to
where the others were.
Eleanor and Zayn who had witnessed almost everything went after him but not
before Zayn punched him again calling him a fucking asshole then went after
Louis to calm him down. When they got there Louis was frantically packing his
and Logan's stuff crying his eyes out not even bothering to wipe away his tears
while Harry held Logan in his arms as he and Liam tried to ask him what was
wrong and Niall noticed a very pissed off Zayn and Eleanor followed by Drew who
had a bloody nose.
"Louis what's wrong?" Harry desperately asked.
"Nothing! Give her to me, we're leaving." Louis reached for Logan as soon as he
had their bags over his shoulders and the dog's leash on his hand.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong." Harry pulled her away from his reach.
"I said give her to me!" Louis cried harder.
"No, you need to calm down first." He tried to call him down but it only made
things worse.
"Give me my daughter or I swear you won't see her ever again."
"No, you need to-"
"Give her to me you fucking bastard! She's not yours!" Louis sobbed yanking her
from his arms just as Logan let out a loud wail then Louis started walking
towards his car.
"Louis wait!" Harry ran behind him grabbing him by the arm to stop him, turning
him around.
"...What did I do? If I did something wrong I'm sorry, but please just tell
what's wrong. What did I do?" Harry asked not even bothering to wipe his own
tears away.
"Just let us go Harry." Louis mumbled but Harry only tightened his grip.
"Why don't you ask your shit of a boyfriend." Zayn snapped moving to stand next
to Niall wrapping his arms around him.
"What did you do...Drew what did you do to him?" Harry asked turning to look at
Drew.
"Nothing." Drew quickly said holding his shirt up to his nose to stop his nose
from bleeding.
"Nothing? So calling Louis a slut, a cockslut and Logan a spoiled brat and a
twat is nothing? Oh and telling Louis he only got pregnant to trap Harry is
nothing specially when you don't know shit." Eleanor glared set on not letting
him get away with it while Louis noticed Harry flinching at the word cockslut.
"You did...why would you do that?" Harry growled walking up to Drew leaving
Louis rooted to his spot because Harry was angry.
"I'm tired of you always shoving me over to the side like I'm trash whenever he
calls you. I understand it when it has something to do with with your daughter
but him? I'm your boyfriend, he's just the father of your child...nothing
else." Drew yelled.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, you still had no right to
talk to him like that...It's not his fault." Harry sighed.
"You know what? I'm tired of all this bullshit so you either pick them or pick
me." Drew snapped.
"Excuse me?" Harry asked completely bewildered.
"You heard me, either you pick them or pick me." Drew glared at Louis and Logan
while the rest stood there waiting for Harry's next words.
Harry stared at Drew then turned his gaze to look at Louis and Logan. He took
in Louis' blood shot eyes and the way he held onto their daughter while she had
her arms wrapped around his neck and her forehead resting on his cheek letting
out tiny hiccups while both of them stared at him expecting him to answer and
when Louis looked down and his bottom lip trembled Harry knew, not that he
didn't before but that time he was completely sure and he was going to fight
for him no matter what.
"Them." Harry answered unable to miss Liam's smile and a shocked Louis looking
at him.
"What?" Drew hissed.
"You heard me, you told me to pick so I picked them and will always pick them
no matter what, honestly I don't know why it took me this long to do this but
we're over."
"Fine! Go fuck yourself idiot." He pushed Harry and walked away picking his
stuff up and leaving, the tension broke when they heard him speed away.
Harry walked up to Louis and Logan shyly standing in front of them, "I'm sorry,
you didn't deserve that. None of the things he said are true, you're nothing of
those awful names he called you." Harry said ignoring the others when he pulled
them in into a hug.
That night after they had gotten back home after Louis had dropped Harry off
and had apologized for calling him a fucking bastard, he went to bed alone like
always but smiling because he knew Harry loved him and their daughter, he was
happy because he had picked them instead of Drew even though he hasn't forgiven
him yet. He was still in love with him and now all he had to do was find the
right time to tell him, to let him know.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_n0khcl87pb1ssc1j5o1_500_zps341cf849.gif]
      
      
     My tumblr: http://meloveniall1994.tumblr.com/
      
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***** Show me how to be whole again* *****
Chapter Notes
     YOU GUYS SHOULD LISTEN TO CASTLE OF GLASS BY LINKIN PARK.
     HOPE YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER! ;)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"You're gonna be good for Daddy, right?" Louis looked down at Logan who was
holding Mr. Curls and her dog's leash while they waited in the elevator to take
them to Harry's floor.
"Yes...You sleeping here too?" She asked moving her hair out of her eyes then
grabbed Louis' hand.
"No, it's just daddy and you." Louis answered then crouched down to her level
when she began pouting.
"I wanna sleep with you...And daddy curly, together." She began rubbing her
right eye.
"I know baby but he wants to spend time with you, he's gonna play with you all
you want and he's gonna read your favorite story to you so you can go night
night." Louis smiled fixing her curls.
"And kiss me night night and sing me the song like you do?" Logan asked wanting
to know those things or she won't go to sleep.
"Yes he will, he's really excited and tomorrow noon he'll take you back home
okay." Louis lifted her hand he was still holding and kissed the back of her
palm.
"Okay..." Logan said just as the elevator doors opened.
The Monday after they had gone camping which had been during the weekend Louis
had agreed to let Logan spend the night with Harry since Harry had the days off
then would be going back to work on Thursday meaning going back to seeing Drew
who Harry had not talked to yet and honestly didn't want to after all the
things he had said to Louis. Louis got up and walked out holding Logan's hand
in one hand and her purple bag she had helped pack in the other after he had
unpacked half the toys she had put in there in order to make her clothes and
other necessities fit in there. He lifted her up so she could ring the doorbell
then put her back down just as the door swung open and a smiley Harry appeared
in front of them kissing Logan and telling them to come in smelling the lasagna
as soon as they stepped inside.
"Are you making lasagna?" Louis asked just as Harry grabbed a few M&M's from a
crystal bowl full of them sitting on top of his coffee table.
"Mhm, I made it for you guys." Harry gave four pieces of chocolate to Logan who
gladly took them and ate then while Harry watched her making sure she wouldn't
give any to the dog.
"Thanks...Oh and make sure you don't leave those there or she'll eat them and
get hyper, you don't need that." Louis warned him not really wanting him to go
through having a hyper Logan under his care.
"I'll move them later. C'mon, let's go eat." Harry smiled following Louis to
the kitchen while Logan played with the toys she had packed mixing them with
the ones Harry had gotten for her.
Louis watched Harry move around the kitchen setting the table for three instead
of the usual one for just himself, he looked around noticing the picture Logan
had colored for him for his birthday still pinned to the fridge and smiled
noticing random pictures of Logan making silly faces.
"When did you take these?" Louis asked grabbing one to look at it closer where
she was sticking her tongue out and was pulling on her ears.
"A few days ago when Eleanor brought her over." Harry answered taking the
lasagna out of the oven.
"Eleanor was here? What was she doing here?" Louis asked turning around to
fully look at Harry.
"I think she said you let her take Logan out for ice cream and then she came
over to get Liam, he tagged along with them." Harry said checking the lasagna.
"Oh...Liam's all she talks about lately. Liam this, Liam that. Found her
ranting to Logan how attractive and muscular he was." Louis shook his head
smiling fondly.
"I think she likes him...Liam is so oblivious though. They should just make out
and date." Harry said out of nowhere.
"You really think so?"
"Yeah...hey could you get the cups, there should be a plastic one for Logan
too." Harry pointed to one of the cabinets in front of Louis.
Louis moved to get them then set them on the table looking at them then turned
back around only to come face to face with Harry after he had set the lasagna
down in the middle of the table. He moved to the left just as Harry did then
laughed when both of them moved to the other side at the same time. Harry's
eyes fell on a small leaf on Louis' hair and gently reached to get it out of
his hair not noticing the way Louis looked at him until Harry showed him the
leaf looking at it and smiling, Harry didn't notice he had started leaning in
until his lips lightly brushed Louis'.
"Can I?" Harry murmured and Louis nodded feeling his warm breath fanning over
his lips.
When their lips finally touched Louis slowly lifted his hands tangling his
fingers in Harry's hair while Harry settled for resting his hands on Louis'
left hip and lower back not moving them at all afraid of scaring him and
keeping the kiss slow and sweet until what he was trying to keep PG turned into
a full make out session the moment he felt Louis' tongue tracing his bottom lip
and hands moving down his back then up again making him shudder in a good way.
They only stopped when they ran out of air looking at each other until Louis
kissed him one more time then turned around to call for Logan only to see that
she was already standing there by the doorway looking at them with wide curious
eyes and had probably been standing there for God knows how long witnessing the
whole thing.
"Love! C'mon let's wash our hands so we can eat." Louis smiled walking over to
her while Harry awkwardly served food on the plates.
"Why were you and daddy hugging so tight? Do you love him like uncle Zayn loves
uncle Niall? He hugs uncle Niall tight because he loves him...uncle Zayn told
me daddy." Logan asked while Louis picked her up to wash her hands.
"Of course I love daddy." Louis whispered so low Logan could barely hear him.
"Do you want lasagna?" Harry asked her.
"Yes." Logan smiled nodding furiously making Louis sigh in relief knowing she
had already moved on from the subject.
They sat down to eat listening to Logan talk about anything that would catch
her attention which was mostly about Buttercup and all the games she and Harry
were going to play ending with asking Harry if he was going to sing to her like
Louis did before bed.
"I'm gonna go, call me if anything happens...Don't forget she needs a bath
before bed in like three hours, you need to read her the book she has in her
bag and if that doesn't work then hum or sing to her Say Goodnight by Cher
Lloyd...Oh and she needs to have her teddy bear and her blankie or she won't go
to bed. If she drinks something before bed make sure she goes to the bathroom
and she might or might not get up in the middle of the night to sleep with
you...just letting you know." Louis finished giving Harry instructions as he
nodded at every single thing Louis said.
"Got it." Harry smiled.
"Sweetheart I'm gonna go, be a good girl and listen to daddy, I'll see you
tomorrow. I love you." Louis hugged her feeling like taking her back with him
and like she was leaving for college already but Harry's excited face convinced
him she was in good hands, Harry was her father after all.
"Love you too daddy." She wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hold.
"Have fun." Louis smiled giving Harry her bag then walked to the door followed
by Harry who failed to notice Logan grabbing a handful of M&M's eating them two
at a time and moving them away from Buttercup while she tickled his side.
Harry came back after she had finished them and as requested by Logan put in
the first Toy Story movie for her to watch while he cleaned the kitchen after
not letting Louis help him saying he didn't have to do it. After he was done he
washed then dried his hands turning the light off before walking back to the
living room where he could hear Logan loudly singing 'You've got a friend in
me' seeing toys scattered everywhere and her jumping on the couch holding onto
the back of it and the almost empty bowl of chocolates. He stared wide eyed at
it then his eyes flickered to the hyper little girl jumping up and down shoving
a last piece of chocolate into her mouth that was painted of different colors
from the chocolates and some of it smeared on her left cheek. She stopped
jumping and singing when she noticed him and gave him the most precious smile
that had Harry's heart melting and unable to help himself he grabbed his phone
and took a picture then moved the bowl away from her setting it on the kitchen
island wondering why had he moved it when she had already eaten most of them.
He went back to the living room where she had resumed her jumping and squirmed
when Harry grabbed her and sat down on the couch with her on his lap to watch
the movie as he cleaned her face with a wet paper towel, it only lasted for a
few minutes when Logan finally set herself free from Harry's grasp and moved to
stand beside him messing with his hair and climbing all over him. By the time
the movie was over Harry found himself playing the role of the ferocious Dragon
trying to catch the princess to tickle her mercilessly who ran around the
living room chanting 'you can't catch me' over and over until Harry caught her
lifting her up into the air while she screamed then he lowered her back down
blowing raspberries on her tummy then would tickle her until she was screaming
'mercy!' like he had taught her.
Harry gave her a big kiss on the cheek and put her back down sighing as he got
ready to chase her again with the intention of tiring her out since her bedtime
was an hour and a half away and after she took a seat on the floor almost
falling asleep Harry sat down next to her feeling like he had run five hundred
thousand miles. He gave her a bath then called Louis so she could say goodnight
to him then tucked her in on his own bed after she refused to sleep on her own
bed, he lay down next to her to read her 'Goodnight Moon'. Once he was done
reading she was still wide awake chewing on her teddy bear's ear while Harry
observed her then quickly turned off the light wrapping his arms around her
bringing her closer to him trying not to disturb Buttercup with his feet.
"Daddy...sing me the night night song." Logan mumbled getting comfortable on
Harry's warm naked chest.
"The one daddy Lou sings to you?" Harry asked kissing her forehead.
"Mhm." She mumbled.
"How about I sing to you our very own night night song?" Harry suggested.
"...Okay." Logan agreed after a few seconds of silence.
"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke dear, I was mistaken,
So I bowed my head and I cried.
You are my Sunshine,
My only Sunshine.
You make me happy,
When skies are grey.
You'll never know dear,
How much I love you.
So please don't take,
My Sunshine away."
Harry finished the song and smiled when he noticed she had fallen asleep
probably not from the song but from a sugar crash. He could see her pouty lips
with the moon light and her button nose wondering how had he gone four years
without her because now he couldn't stand to be away from her for more than one
day. He kissed the top of her head and fell asleep with his arms around her
protecting her from any harm.
*~*
It was already noon when Louis has just finished cleaning the wood floors, he
stopped and looked around admiring his now clean flat then sighed putting all
the cleaning supplies away not liking how silent his home was. Harry was due to
drop their daughter off at any minute now and he just couldn't wait to see her
again and see Harry too then smiled when he heard the doorbell. He opened it
only to see Niall pinned against the wall making out with Zayn giggling every
now and then, Louis made a face then cleared his throat gaining their attention
as they quickly tried to fix their shirts and hair.
"Hi! Well...come in." Louis tried not to laugh.
"Where's my cupcake?" Zayn asked noticing how clean everything was.
"She spent the night with Harry...should be here at any minute now." Louis sat
down on the couch gesturing for them to do the same.
"So...You get free time and you waste it by cleaning your flat?" Niall asked in
disbelief."
"...Yeah. I finally cleaned everything plus I don't have anything else to do."
Louis shrugged.
"How about going out and having fun." Zayn suggested wrapping an arm around
Niall who rested his head on his chest.
"I didn't feel like it and I got a full night sleep. I feel great!" Louis
smiled then smiled even bigger when he could hear Buttercup's barks and 'daddy
Lou I'm home!' outside his door.
He got up and opened the door feeling Logan's arms wrapping around his legs and
her precious face looking up at him, he smiled at Harry noticing how tired he
looked but smiled back nonetheless.
"How was she?" Louis asked ushering him inside grabbing her bag on the way in.
"She was great! Thanks for letting her spend the night." Harry smiled hearing
Logan madly giggling with Zayn and Niall.
"You don't have to thank me."
"I'm gonna be out of the country for a few days...work stuff in Hawaii at the
fashion show, so I won't be able to take her to the park on Saturday. I leave
Thursday night." Harry said feeling horrible for breaking his promise.
"Crap...I'm gonna have to leave Logan with my mum now." Louis murmured to
himself.
"Why?"
"I'm one of the models and I was hoping to leave her with you and Anna would
babysit her while you worked but you're going too." Louis explained.
"Why didn't you tell me before? They just called me today."
"It was last minute too and its something I can't refuse. I could leave her
with El or Niall and Zayn but they're gonna be busy so I'll just ask mum."
"Gemma's off for the rest of the week...I could ask her and mum to come get her
if your mum can't." Harry suggested.
"Okay...Yeah you do that." Louis smiled walking to the living room followed by
Harry where Logan was on Zayn's lap attempting to read a book to him or more
like making up her own story based on the images while Niall had a sleeping dog
on his lap petting his soft fur.
"I'm going to Hawaii." Louis announced.
"What? When?" Zayn asked shifting his attention to him.
"I leave Thursday night and my mum or Harry's mum and sister are gonna come get
her because Harry is going too." Louis explained while Harry texted her mum and
Gemma then looked up at Louis.
"Gemma said they can come and pick her up Thursday afternoon...Oh and your
mum's coming too."
"Okay...Logan you're gonna see Nana, Ninna and auntie Gemma." Louis smiled
poking her tummy laughing when she looked at him then went back to reading to
Niall.
"How have you been Harry?" Zayn asked.
"Good..." Harry smiled a little knowing how much Zayn didn't like him.
"You're exhausted aren't ya? I've been there mate, she just doesn't stop."
Niall fondly smiled at Logan kissing the top of her head.
"Never does." Harry chuckled.
"You'll get used to it." Zayn smiled a little to him then focused his attention
back on her.
"I gotta go, I have so many things to do. I'll see you later guys...Bye
lovebug, love you." Harry got up ready to kiss her on the cheek but stopped
when she puckered up her lips and gave him a kiss right on the lips.
"Love you too daddy." She giggled going back to reading while Harry looked at
Louis wide eyed and Louis only shrugged it off then walked him out coming back
minutes later.
He spent the rest of the day with them until Niall claimed it was getting late
and they had things to do for the evening then left after Louis gave Zayn a
knowing look and he winked in return. Louis then proceeded to ask Logan what
had she and Harry done finding out she had eaten all of daddy's chocolates then
had played lots and lots of games with her favorite being the princess and the
Dragon where the Dragon would try to catch her to tickle her. Louis smiled as
she told him she and Harry had their very own night night song and how much she
had liked what Harry had given her for breakfast making him laugh when she told
him it was toast from the French and she really wanted more.
"It's French toast baby, we can have it for breakfast tomorrow okay?" Louis
kissed her forehead picking her up to give her a bath and after he was done he
went to bed cuddling her close to him thinking about the one person who was
missing at the moment.
*~*
The Thursday they were supposed to be leaving was all tears from Logan who
clung to Louis and Harry not wanting to let them go while Anne, Gemma, and Jay
tried to make her smile but failed. They were sitting next to each other, knees
touching with Logan sitting on Louis' lap tightening her grip on Harry every
time he moved while Louis rubbed her back to calm her down and when it was time
for them to board the plane she burst out crying again pulling on their shirts.
"Don't leave me...daddies." Logan sobbed gasping for air when Louis gave her to
Gemma.
"We're not leaving you love...Daddy and I have to work and I promise we're
gonna call you everyday. You're gonna have lots of fun with your
aunties...Don't cry." Louis grabbed her hands kissing them just like he did
when she was just a few hours old then wiped away her tears trying not to cry
himself because they had never been apart for more than one day and now he was
leaving her for three days.
"Love you sweetheart, to the moon and back." Harry kissed her forehead picking
up his carry on bag making her cry harder.
"You're gonna miss your flight." Jay reminded them.
"Bye love. Mum please take good care of her." Louis kissed Logan then his mum
while Harry said his goodbyes to Anne and Gemma.
"Don't you worry Lou, she's in good hands. Call us when you get there." Jay
hugged him.
Both of them grabbed their bags and started walking away hearing Logan calling
for them breaking their hearts then looked back when her cries stopped seeing
her hiding her face on Gemma's neck while she rubbed her back. Nineteen hours
later they arrived in Honolulu trying not to fall asleep since it was still
three pm and still Thursday while Louis resisted the urge to call Logan knowing
it was one in the morning in Doncaster and she was asleep. They checked in into
the hotel everyone participating in the fashion show was staying in finding out
their rooms were next to each other while Louis couldn't help but be annoyed
because no one had told them the show was that same night and that the rest of
the trip was going to be only photoshoots to promote the clothing line and
everywhere he looked he would catch people staring at Harry and himself.
*~*
"Yes we have a kid, so what!" Louis snapped at a random woman after hearing her
talking about them living in sin for having a kid out of marriage while Harry
ignored her trying to calm him down.
"Just ignore her Lou." Harry sighed focusing his attention back on his camera
while Louis was getting his hair styled.
"I can't just ignore her when she literally called Logan, our daughter, a
spawn." Louis hissed while the hairdresser tried to tune out their
conversation.
"Our daughter's not a spawn and you know it, that woman is an ignorant. I have
to go but I'll see you after its over...at the after party." Harry got up and
gave Louis a side hug trying not to mess his hair then left while Louis had to
stay back.
Louis sighed getting ready to walk down the runway ignoring that he was tired
as hell and just wanted to go to sleep on his own bed next to Logan. Once it
was his turn he brightened a little when he saw Harry smiling like an idiot
giving him a thumbs up before he started taking pictures, he modeled two more
outfits before it was over and after getting dressed back in his own clothes he
headed over to the bar where he had seen Harry go. He found him standing next
to and talking to April, one of the female models while she smiled listening to
what Harry had to say.
"Louis!" April shouted moving forward to grab him by the arm to pull him close
to her.
"Hey!" Louis smiled giving her a quick hug.
"Harry and I were talking about your daughter...You never told me he was the
other dad." She smacked his shoulder as hard as she could sending him forward
where Harry quickly caught him in his arms then steadied him.
"You never asked." Louis smiled ordering a piña colada with rum like the one
Harry had in his hands.
"I did, I did ask you when I met her two years ago. She stole my heart, she was
and still is so adorable." April gushed making Louis smile as well as Harry.
"Well she is mine and Harry's after all." Louis said taking a sip of his drink.
"Don't be too cocky Tomlinson! I...Oh crap, I have to go but I'll see both of
you tomorrow." April gave Louis and Harry a hug before she left.
"I didn't know you knew her." Louis moved to sit next to Harry.
"I met her a year ago at that fashion week in New York. I thought you didn't
drink." Harry pointed to the drink in Louis' hand.
"Not much...how about you?" Louis raised his eyebrows.
"I...I don't drink, April ordered for me." Harry put the drink down then pushed
it away from him.
"I'll drink it." Louis shrugged taking it setting it in front of him.
They stayed silent observing their surroundings and occasionally greeting some
of the guests who wanted to congratulate them both and it wasn't until midnight
when Harry decided Louis had had enough and half carried, half dragged him out
of the party while Louis protested a bit but then let Harry take him back to
his hotel room. He let Harry believe he was drunk just so he didn't have to
walk on his own feeling too lazy to walk without him supporting him but also
feeling jet lag catching up to him and something else he was sure he wanted to
do that night since they got back from their camping trip.
Harry stumbled through the door of Louis' hotel room half dragging half
carrying Louis closing the door after them then put Louis down on the bed, he
cursed himself for letting him drink not knowing that after two drinks he'll be
ready to pass out or at least that's what it looked like to him. He put him
under the covers and was about to leave when a hand stopped him, turning around
he noticed Louis wide awake looking at him.
"Where are you going?" Louis asked tightening his grip on Harry's hand.
"I'm going to my room, go to sleep." Harry quietly said.
"I don't want you to go...please stay, or at least stay until I fall asleep."
Louis mumbled looking up at Harry with wide blue eyes and who was Harry to say
no to him.
He nodded and got under the covers next to Louis thinking about how he
shouldn't be doing it but Louis had asked him and he just couldn't say no to
him. He laid down on his back then looked at Louis who had his eyes open
staring at the ceiling then decided to close his eyes to pass time until Louis
was fast asleep, he had been like that for five minutes when he felt the bed
moving and Louis shifting around. His eyes snapped open when he felt Louis'
hands resting on his chest and saw him straddling him holding himself up on his
knees looking down at him while biting on his bottom lip.
"Louis what- what are you doing?" Harry asked trying to get out from his grasp
only to have Louis fully sit on his stomach pushing him down with his hands.
"Make me forget Harry." Louis whispered on Harry's ear sending shivers down his
spine.
"You're drunk Louis, you don't know what you're doing." Harry tried to push him
off but stopped when he saw Louis' hurt expression.
"I only had a sip of one then threw away the other one. I'm not drunk and I do
know what I'm doing. I want you to make me forget that night, I want you."
Louis said latching onto Harry's neck kissing and lightly biting on the skin.
"I'm sorry Louis, I really am but I can't do this. You're not thinking clearly
and I don't wanna hurt you again." Harry managed to say and not moan it out.
"You- you owe it to me and-" Louis paused then moved backwards to sit on
Harry's crotch slowly rotating his hips in small circles making Harry gasp,
"and I'm horny...I don't know why I am, I always am so horny once a month ever
since I had your kid and its your fault."
"Lou- Louis..." Harry moaned beginning to get hard as Louis sped up his
movements, he could feel his bum right on top of his cock and it was driving
him crazy.
"My hand won't do anymore, I- I need something inside me, I need you. You're
the only one who's ever been inside of me, I've never had anything inside me
other than you." Louis whispered on Harry's ear all the while nibbling on his
ear lobe while Harry thought about how his hand wasn't doing it for him either
after four years.
"I- I can't." Harry shook his head once again trying to get out from underneath
Louis knowing that if he kept moving like that he would come in his pants at
any minute.
"Please...all I want is to forget, I just want to forget. I want you." Louis
stopped moving and looked at Harry in the eyes feeling how his own eyes filled
with tears.
"You'll hate me in the morning, you don't really want this but you think you
do. You don't want this." Harry closed his eyes resting his hands on Louis'
hips.
"I won't hate you...please." Louis whispered desperately and that's when Harry
lost all sense of control pulling Louis down kissing him hard as teeth collided
with teeth but none of them seemed to mind or care when both of them had waited
a long time to do this without fear taking over and Louis just wanted to be and
feel whole again.
Louis began moving his hips again faster than before until Harry flipped them
around resting in between Louis' legs trailing kisses down his jaw to his
collarbones then back to the spot below Louis' ear. He sat up and with a quick
movement took his shirt off as Louis did the same as fast as he could then
lowered himself to continue kissing him rubbing himself on Louis' own hard on
and feeling him wrapping his legs around his waist and his heels pushing down
on his bum bringing him closer to him. Louis unwrapped his legs from around his
waist then slowly unbuttoned Harry's pants trying to pull them off, he flipped
him around to where Harry was on his back and slowly pulled them off along with
his boxers then got up in front of him shyly getting rid of his own then took
them off completely remembering Harry had already seen him naked leaving both
of them completely naked. Louis eyes' widened at Harry's size trying to
remember if it had always being that big as he also wondered if he'll be able
to fit it in inside of him at all.
"Why are you curvier? I don't remember you being that curvy." Harry said
breaking the silence letting his eyes roam through his body as Louis climbed on
top of him straddling him.
"I carried a baby for nine months, I had to make room for her." Louis answered
pressing his lips against Harry's kissing him slow then more desperate.
"God you're beautiful, so so beautiful." Harry mumbled in between kisses
letting his hands run through Louis' sides then the curve of his back and bum.
Louis began rolling his hips at a rapid pace feeling his erection rubbing
Harry's own, he moved to where the tip of Harry's dick was right at his
entrance as he slowly moved back and forth feeling it nudging at it and feeling
like he was about to explode from the feeling too overwhelming for him yet he
only wanted to feel more of him.
"Wait...I don't- I don't have anything." Harry said trying to make Louis stop.
"Top drawer on your left." Louis answered breathlessly then Harry moved to open
the drawer.
"Why do you have this?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow after grabbing a small
bottle of lube.
"I need it for when I'm horny...like all the time." Louis said in a duh tone
getting off of Harry laying down next to him.
Harry clumsily opened the bottle coating his fingers with the liquid then
looked up at Louis asking him if he was sure then slowly and carefully inserted
a finger inside of him feeling the tight warm walls around it after Louis had
nodded telling him he wanted him to do it and to don't stop. He inserted
another one when Louis gave him the okay and started moving them around
searching for that spot then began stretching him open after he found it making
Louis whimper in pleasure. He kept doing the same until Louis was ready for a
third one and as soon as he had gotten used to the feeling of three fingers
inside of him he pushed Harry's hand away and watched as Harry hesitantly lubed
himself up with enough lube to make it more comfortable for Louis. As fast as
he could Louis pushed Harry on his back supporting himself on his knees
grabbing Harry's erection guiding it towards his entrance, he buried his face
on Harry's chest when he began lowering himself on Harry not stopping at all
feeling that familiar burn as he moved to fit more of Harry inside of him.
"L- Louis...stop, you- you have to go slow. It's hurting you." Harry grabbed
his hips making him stop.
"It's supposed to, it's supposed to hurt like that. You're supposed to go fast
like the last time." Louis mumbled breaking Harry's heart, making him hate
himself for forcing Louis to believe that that's how sex was supposed to be and
feel like.
Harry kissed his forehead then slowly pulled out and gently grabbed Louis
pushing him down on his back spreading his legs to get in between them. He
observed Louis then leaned down kissing him softly caressing his cheek then
slowly entwined his hands with Louis' peppering his face with tiny full of love
kisses. Louis not knowing how to react or what to do let Harry kiss his
shoulder then his chest then back to his lips staying still for him. He closed
his eyes feeling Harry's lips all over his face then his shoulders then held in
a whimper grabbing fistfuls of the bed sheets as the images of his last time
with Harry began coming back now that they were in the same position they had
been in that last time. For an unknown reason he braced himself to hear those
same words Harry had said to him years ago as he fought the images away but
instead he felt his heart skip a beat at what Harry said while he ran his
fingers through his hair making him shiver.
"I'll show you what it's really supposed to feel like...What making love really
feels like. I love you angel." Harry whispered resting his head on Louis'
shoulder.
Louis could feel him entering him, stretching him open going slow and stopping
a few times to let him adjust as he closed his eyes focusing on Harry's soft
skin and not the pain as he ran his hands up and down his back. Once Harry was
all the way in he stopped moving letting Louis get used to him and waiting for
him to tell him to move but truth be told, he was in no hurry to move because
all he wanted to do was feel Louis around him and stay there forever.
"You- you feel bigger." Louis muttered making Harry lift his head up to look at
him.
"Well...I did get older." Harry said wearing a tiny smile giving him a small
kiss when he began blushing.
"I'm- I'm ready...You can move." Louis said wrapping his arms around his neck
giving him a quick kiss.
"Are you sure?"
"Mhm."
Harry slowly pulled out then pushed back in letting out a tiny moan at the
sensation, he grabbed Louis' thighs and pulled his legs up folding them at the
knee just as he wrapped them around him feeling Louis' heels on his bum as he
went in deeper changing the angle until he was hitting Louis' spot every time
he would push back in listening as his moans got louder and louder mingling
with his own. He kept a slow steady pace kissing him gently until Louis
desperate for more began bouncing back and forth to meet his thrusts whining
when Harry grabbed his hips stopping him.
"Harry please...faster." Louis said grabbing his hands pulling them away from
his hips.
"I- I don't wanna hurt you..." Harry mumbled going slow setting his own pace.
"You won't...It's- it's been too long, just p- please." Louis ran his hands
through Harry's back then his fingers through his hair pulling a bit on it.
Harry hesitated at first but then sped up his thrusts holding onto the
headboard with one hand and Louis' hand with the other one feeling Louis' nails
scratching the left side of his sweaty back and digging into the skin the
closer Louis got and the faster Harry moved inside of him, both of them knowing
they wouldn't last longer. Louis was the first one to feel that familiar
tightening on his stomach as he kissed him, and moaning his name into the kiss
he curled his toes coming like never before coating both of their chests as
Harry's mouth drowned any kind of sound he made. Harry moved faster and soon
enough Louis could feel his warm load being released inside of him wanting to
moan at the feeling but no sound would come out of his mouth and in his cloudy
mind he knew he had forgotten something but decided to ignore it focusing his
attention on Harry who was still inside of him.
Louis sleepily looked at Harry in the eyes and just knew, "...I love you
Harry...I still do, I really do, so so much." He whispered placing his hand on
his cheek tracing his lips with his thumb then pressed his lips against Harry's
for a short kiss.
"I love you more, I love you so so much." Harry smiled letting his lips linger
over Louis' not really knowing how to feel other than a need to just hold him
close and never let him go ever again.
Harry carefully pulled out and grabbed his boxers to wipe Louis and himself off
while Louis stared at him with sleepy eyes wearing a tiny smile, Harry lay down
next to Louis smiling when Louis cuddled up to him under the covers then
brushed his chestnut hair damp with sweat out of his forehead. A few hours
later after Louis was fast asleep in his arms he began wondering how Louis
would react the next morning making his chest hurt at the thought of Louis
hating him again as soon as he woke up, he tightened his hold around him trying
to enjoy the feeling of having Louis in his arms unable to push away the
thought of Louis waking up regretting and realizing he had made a mistake. And
as he fell asleep he let the tears roll down his cheeks realizing that what he
and Louis had just done only made his feelings for him grow even more to the
point where there was no escape and he could no longer live without the love of
his life. He silently cried because he had said I love you after waiting for
too long and hoping to hear him say it yet he knew he didn't deserve it, he
didn't deserved them and their love.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mrfp3m8yrR1s7xjm9o3_500_zps1ad8f2ce.jpg]
      
      
      
     Thoughts? ;)
***** I want you here with me, like how I pictured it* *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Louis slowly opened his eyes feeling a weight on his chest and when he turned
his head to the other side he was met with wild curly hair darker than Logan's,
he lifted his head to see Harry laying in between his legs with his arm wrapped
around his torso. He tried to move but stopped when he felt pain shooting out
from his lower back all the way to his entrance remembering what had happened
the night before and a few seconds later he smiled just a little. He froze when
Harry shifted onto his side next to Louis and tightened his hold on him
bringing him closer to him, Louis continued smiling while observing the
sleeping man next to him until it faded away noticing Harry's red nose and
swollen eyes he knew so well it only happened hours after crying for so long.
He pulled back a little trying to ignore the ache in his chest and the hurtful
thoughts that maybe Harry regretted having sex with him after he practically
begged him to, he tried to ignore the fact that maybe Harry pitied him. He
quickly closed his eyes again when Harry began stirring and felt his lips on
his forehead while he pulled him closer to him making him nuzzle his face on
his neck to get comfortable then relaxed when he felt Harry's fingers running
through his hair and his other hand rubbing circles on his lower back.
"You- you don't regret it, do you?" Louis mumbled after a few minutes wanting
to know startling Harry in the process.
"Of course not...I thought you would." Harry confessed watching as Louis sat up
to look at him.
"Is that why you were crying? I don't. I don't regret it at all." Louis said
then lay back down resting his leg over Harry aware of their naked state
feeling somehow comfortable.
"I thought you would." Was all Harry said.
They stayed like that both looking at each other never taking their eyes off
until Harry moved his head a few inches forward just to steal a kiss ignoring
their morning breath and smiling into the kiss when Louis immediately kissed
back. Louis got onto his back pulling Harry on top of him wrapping his legs
around his waist just like he had done the night before and it wasn't until he
felt Harry getting hard again that he remembered everything.
"Harry?"
"Hmm...?"
"We...get off. Get off, now!" Louis pushed him off of him sitting up as soon as
Harry was gone looking at him with wide blue eyes.
He watched as Harry quickly moved away all the way to the other side of the bed
using the bed sheet to cover himself trying not to cry but failed when he felt
a single tear rolling down his cheek knowing it was all over. He quickly wiped
it off feeling a heavy weight on his chest realizing his worst nightmares were
coming true, Louis regretted it even after he had said he didn't and Harry
didn't know what to do other than get off the bed and frantically search for
his clothes and wait until he was in his own room to let it all out.
"H- Harry...where are you going?" Louis asked from the bed not moving at all.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you again." Harry quickly put
his shirt then his pants on.
"What are you talking about? You didn't hurt me...dammit Harry look at me!"
Louis finally had enough and got off the bed walking towards Harry not caring
if he was stark naked and his bum hurt like a bitch.
"That's all I seem to do don't I? Hurt you over and over again." Harry said
refusing to look at him.
"No you didn't. I wanted to...I'm not regretting it and I don't hate you."
Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's abdomen relaxing when he felt Harry's
arms around him.
"Then- then why did you pushed me away?" Harry mumbled and Louis couldn't help
but notice how vulnerable he sounded.
"We...we uh, we forgot to use a condom." Louis confessed closing his eyes when
Harry stiffened.
"What?" Harry pulled away from Louis.
"You forgot to use a condom." Louis repeated in an accusatory tone blaming
Harry for it not really knowing why since both of them were to blame.
"I forgot...I forgot the condom? How...how- Fuck!" Harry began pacing back and
forth rubbing his hands on his face.
"Harry?"
"What are we gonna do?" Harry asked sitting down on the bed pulling Louis down
on his lap.
"I don't know but I don't want another baby." Louis sighed trying not to panic
because if he got pregnant again he would no longer be able to work at least
until it was born and how the hell was he going to tell everyone he was knocked
up again and Harry was the father.
"I don't either. What about that morning after pill, my assistant Gracie got
one...c'mon, get dressed. We're gonna go get it." Harry said grabbing Louis'
shirt putting it on him.
Louis quickly changed into new clean clothes while Harry did the same in his
own hotel room and once they were ready Harry drove to a near pharmacy while
Louis felt awkward because people were going to figure out he had had sex. He
relaxed when Harry grabbed his hand and squeezed it a bit to comfort him.
"I'll go in and buy it okay." Harry said parking on an available spot.
"No, I'll buy it. I'll just tell them it's for my girlfriend." Louis sighed
getting out of the car.
"Want me to go with you?" Harry asked.
"Just wait for me here okay...love you." Louis said then shut the door before
Harry could say it back leaving him wide eyed and happy.
Harry watched as Louis walked to the entrance trying not to limp and felt bad
knowing it was his fault he was limping in the first place, he rested his head
on the back of the seat staring at the steering wheel of the car he had rented
noticing it was still eight in the morning meaning they had two hours to call
Logan before her bedtime. Fifteen minutes later Louis came back holding a small
brown bag and a water bottle and once he was in the car he took out a box
containing two small pills taking one and telling Harry to remind him to take
the other one in twelve hours. Once they were back in the hotel Louis hid the
bag from view and headed back to his room expecting Harry to follow so they
could call their daughter, they settled down on the couch and dialed Jay's
number making sure to put it on speaker.
"Louis?" Jay's voice came through the speaker.
"Hey mum, Harry's here and you're on speaker." Louis said.
"Oh...hi Harry. How are you guys?" Jay asked.
"We're good. How's Logan?" Louis asked noticing he couldn't hear anyone on the
background.
"Is she doing okay?" Harry asked worried that she might still be crying.
"She's really doing great, everyone's keeping her entertained and she hasn't
cried at all. Gemma took her and the girls out to eat and do some shopping
earlier today. She's been staying here at Anne's with Gems in your room Harry."
Jay said.
"That's good." Louis sighed out of relief.
"Could we talk to her?" Harry asked taking his phone out sending a text to
Gemma and their mum telling them that he'll call them later.
"Course...let me just go get that sneaky little girl." Jay said then they could
hear shuffling on the other end, silence, then it was filled with laughter.
Harry shyly took Louis' hand in his smiling when Louis immediately tightened
his hold on it while they waited for Jay to put Logan on the phone.
"Daddies?" Logan spoke as her voice trembled a little and Louis knew she was
about to cry.
"Hi love. What have you been up to? Are you having fun?" Louis asked missing
her more than ever.
"You coming home now daddy? Daddy curly coming home too?" Logan asked.
"Not yet love. I miss you sweetheart." Louis sighed.
"I miss you too. Where's daddy curly?"
"I'm right here lovebug. Are you being a good girl." Harry asked.
"Yes. I played lots with Daisy, Phoebs, and Cassandra...her mummy let me hold
the little baby Issac but he cried and auntie Gemma said he was sleepy. Daddies
he sleeps a lot, all day long and doesn't do anything but eat, cry and poop."
Logan heavily sighed and both Louis and Harry tried not to laugh.
"That's because he's still very little, you used to sleep a lot too when you
were little like him." Louis explained while moving to sit next to Harry
pressing his body to his side.
"And eat and poop a lot?" Logan gasped.
"Yeah...You pooped on uncle Zayn once." Louis laughed.
"Did not!" She burst out laughing.
"You did. What else did you do?" Louis asked feeling Harry's chin on his
shoulder.
"Daddies I want a baby brother too like Cassy...but one that doesn't poop.
Please." Logan said making Louis and Harry stiffen thinking about how they
almost gave her one.
"Not right now love. What else did you do?" Harry asked her trying to get her
mind off of it because it wouldn't be happening and he wasn't sure if it ever
would.
"Ninna made cookies and auntie Gemma got me a dolly."
"Did you say thank you?" Louis moved closer to the phone.
"Mhm...Daisy that's my cookie!" Logan yelled the last part.
"Logan please don't yell." Louis scolded her even though he wasn't there.
"Bye, love you daddy Lou. Love you daddy curly." Logan rushed out while Harry
and Louis stared at each other in confusion.
"Love you too lovebug."
"Love you baby, bye."
"Boys? It's Anne." She said pickling up Jay's cellphone after Logan had left it
abandoned on top of the kitchen table.
"Hey mum...where did she go?" Harry asked.
"Gemma organized a movie marathon with popcorn and everything. Gemma just
called her...she didn't know you were talking to her. I could go get her if you
want." Anne offered.
"No it's okay Anne, we have to leave for a photoshoot anyway. Thanks again for
watching her." Louis said looking at the time on his phone.
"We have to go mum, I love you and please give Logan a big kiss for us." Harry
said.
"Alright, love you boys." She said before hanging up leaving them in a
comfortable silence after Louis ended the call saying a quick I love you to his
mum.
"I'm gonna go get ready." Harry said not moving at all making Louis smile.
"Yeah me too." Louis moved to stand up but stopped when Harry grabbed his hand.
"Did- did you really mean it? You still love me...I- I just want to make sure
it wasn't just a dream." Harry looked down then forgot how to breathe when
Louis crawled into his lap placing his knees on either side of him.
"I never stopped...not even after all the things you did to me." Louis began.
"I'm sorry, I really am and-" Harry quickly began to apologize all the way from
the depths of his soul meaning every single word but Louis shushed him putting
his hand over his mouth.
"Let me talk okay. Don't interrupt me, just listen." Louis said removing his
hand off of his mouth leaving them on Harry's shoulders.
"I don't hate you and I still love you...I'll never stop loving you no matter
what, I will always do but...You really hurt me. You really did and you have no
idea how many times I woke up in the middle of the night feeling so hopeless,
so used and pathetic. I felt hopeless because I didn't know what I was gonna do
with a baby when I could barely take care of myself, I felt used because that's
what you did...You used me. I felt pathetic because part of me still loved you
like the first time I realized it and wanted to find you and tell you, 'hey, I
know you hate me but we're gonna have a baby. The least you could do is not
hate it like I sometimes do.' I hated her Harry, I hated every time she moved
and it hurt...You hurt me." Louis broke down crying on Harry's shoulder while
Harry felt the familiar ache on his chest letting the tears roll down his
cheeks hugging Louis tight.
"I'm sorry, if I could take it all back I would. I would change everything, I
would take back the very first time I made you cry...I would take back the day
I hit you for the very first time and that night but I can't and I'm sorry. I'm
really really sorry...I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but please.
Please forgive me..." Harry whispered the last three words rocking Louis back
and forth cupping his head with his hand but stopped when Louis pulled back to
look at him looking like he might break at any moment.
"I can't...I want to but I can't. I'm sorry...every time I think about it I
can't stop thinking about everything you ever did and said to me, all the times
you humiliated me." Louis looked down.
"Lou..." Harry let out a choked sob.
He never expected Louis to forgive him but to hear him say it felt like a stab
straight to his heart and soul confirming his worst fears, he slowly let go of
Louis losing all hope and at that point even touching him hurt. He knew he
didn't deserve them and after wiping his tears away with his sleeves he looked
up at Louis and nodded letting him know he had understood then leaned forward
to kiss his forehead then his lips letting them linger knowing that maybe that
would be his last chance to do it.
"...Let's start over, I don't wanna lose you again." Louis mumbled resting his
head on Harry's shoulder wrapping his arms around him surprising Harry.
"But you said..."
"I just need time, that I can't forgive you yet doesn't mean I don't love you.
We could start over again, we could try if you want to and...maybe one day I'll
forgive you." Louis said hiding his face on the crook of Harry's neck relaxing
when he felt Harry's lips on the side of his head and his hands rubbing his
back.
"I love you Louis, always. I'll do anything for you, I promise you won't regret
any of this." Harry nuzzled his face on Louis' shoulder staying like that until
they had to get ready and Harry went back to his room but not before giving
Louis small sweet kisses whispering sweet nothings on his ear making him blush
like a teenager.
*~*
"Finally. I thought I was gonna die and," Louis got closer to Harry to whisper
on his ear, "my ass still hurts."
"Sorry about that, shouldn't have gone that fast." Harry blushed looking down
at the camera he was holding.
"Don't worry about it...Oh and remember I have to take the last pill at eight.
The pharmacist said I should take a pregnancy test in a few weeks." Louis said
as he waited for Harry to get his stuff while everyone had left after thanking
him.
"W- why? It's not like you're gonna get pregnant." Harry began to freak out
like a teenager after being told he could become a father in nine months even
though he already had a kid.
"Just to be sure...Don't worry, I won't get pregnant." Louis reassured him
sensing his panic feeling the same, they weren't ready and like Harry he didn't
want another baby.
"Okay then. I was...I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me
tonight...dinner?" Harry asked.
"Like a date?" Louis asked feeling his face heating up.
"Yeah. You don't have to if you don't want to." Harry chewed on his bottom lip.
"NoNo, I'd love to go." Louis quickly said.
"Okay, I'll pick you up at 7:30." Harry smiled.
When Louis got back to his hotel room he barely had time to take a shower and
get ready for his date and as he got ready he couldn't help but feel a ton of
butterflies on his stomach at the thought that Harry had finally asked him out
on a date. In that moment what he went through no longer mattered and even
though he couldn't forgive him yet he still couldn't wipe the smile off of his
face and when he heard a knock on his door it only grew wider. He opened the
door to see Harry dressed in formal garments just like himself and just like
him he couldn't stop smiling and before he could say anything Louis held up a
finger gesturing for him to wait then went back and pocketed the small pill
since he couldn't afford to miss it or he'll be screwed. He looked around
making sure he had everything then went back to Harry closing the door after
himself.
"Something wrong?" Harry asked pulling himself away from the wall.
"No, I just needed to get that pill." Louis smiled.
"Oh..."
"So...where are you taking me?" Louis asked not knowing if it was okay to hold
his hand then smiled when Harry took it feeling how warm it was.
"Dinner." Harry answered smiling a bit.
"I know but where to?"
"It's a surprise. If I tell you it won't be anymore."
Louis smiled and stopped asking letting Harry guide him towards a series of
corridors then to the elevator where once they were inside he pressed the
button to take them down to the lobby then to the car letting Harry get the
door for him waiting for him. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Harry
stopped in front of the Azure Restaurant making his jaw drop because he had
always wanted to go there but had never had the time to travel out of the
country much less just to go eat at some restaurant. Harry got out of the car
while Louis was still too stunned to move then slowly got out when Harry opened
it for him then walked up to the door hand in hand.
"Hi, I have a reservation for Styles." Harry politely smiled to the young
hostess earning a nice genuine smile when she saw their linked hands.
"Of course Mr. Styles. Right this way please." The girl whose name tag read
Alanna guided them all the way to a table right outside the restaurant where
Louis could see the beach.
Harry pulled out Louis' chair then sat down in front of him never losing his
smile and that small sparkle on his eyes while Louis looked around admiring the
beach and enjoying the gentle breeze. He noticed their table was the only one
there and the candles on it that along with the soft twinkle lights gave it a
cozy and homey feeling.
"So...You like it?" Harry nervously asked pulling Louis out of his thoughts.
"I love it, it's perfect. Did you plan all of this." Louis asked learning
forward.
"...Yeah, I did before we left for the photoshoot after we talked. I wasn't
sure you would accept but I took my chances anyway." Harry smiled taking to
take Louis' hand on his.
"It's perfect." Louis beamed.
They were interrupted by the waitress who introduced herself as Millie bringing
them an array of breads with a special clam dip along with their best wine, she
left after talking their order of Azure Sashimi when both of them decided to
have the same thing.
~*~
"It took her a while to walk on her own after she fell on her bum the first
time." Louis said after Harry had asked him how long it had taken her to walk.
"Poor thing. Hey, did you know I was born walking? I was a pro by the time I
was ten months old." Harry wiggled his eyebrows fighting a grin.
"Oh please, you couldn't even walk without tripping on your own feet...And I
heard your mum telling my mum you didn't started walking until you were almost
two. Logan was a year and a half and Anne said you sucked on your thumb until
you were five, now I know why she can't quit the habit." Louis smirked.
"Well at least I wasn't six...she gets it from you love." Harry said grinning
when Louis began blushing unaware that he was blushing because of what he had
just called him not because Harry knew he too sucked on his thumb until he was
six years old.
"How about she gets it from the both of us, that's fair enough." Louis said
still feeling those damn butterflies.
"Yeah that's fair enough." Harry said moving backwards when the waitress
arrived with their food leaving the bottle of wine behind.
They ate their food in silence enjoying the sound of the waves and the food
glancing at each other every now and then and after they were done Harry
suggested Louis order dessert for both of them smiling when he ordered his
favorite, a caramelized coconut flan. As soon as they were done and Harry had
paid the check refusing to even let Louis pay half of it they left the
restaurant after thanking both the waitress and the hostess then Harry guided
Louis towards the beach telling him to not be shy and take off his shoes so
they could walk close to the water.
"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked breaking the silence as they walked
along the beach hand in hand holding their shoes with the other.
"You. All of this, it feels like a dream and- ow!" Harry quickly let go of his
shoes to rub the spot on his arm where Louis had pinched him.
"I can now confirm you're not dreaming young Harry." Louis tried not to laugh.
"Payback...." Harry murmured and before Louis had time to register what was
going on Harry was all over him tickling his sides.
"N- no...Harry!" Louis shrieked trying to push Harry's hands away from him.
Louis stumbled backwards laughing and trying to tickle Harry back until he fell
on his bum bringing Harry down with him where he continued until Louis pushed
him on his back and straddled his waist bending down to kiss him licking his
bottom lip for entrance until Harry gave in and wrapped his arms around his
waist deepening the kiss. Louis pulled back when he heard the waves getting
closer while Harry tried to follow his lips but stopped when he felt his feet
getting wet then got up after Louis got off of him helping him up as well.
"This...this was the best night ever." Harry whispered pulling Louis into a hug
nuzzling his face on his neck.
"Yeah."
"I love you Angel." Harry whispered so only Louis could hear smiling when he
felt warm lips on the back of his neck.
"I love you too Hazzabear." Louis said noticing how Harry's breath hitched and
his heart beat a little faster at the use of his old nickname before it slowed
down again then Harry pulled back looking at him with watery eyes.
"We should go back, it's getting kinda chilly and I don't want you getting
sick." Harry took Louis' hand and walked back to the car after getting and
putting their shoes on.
"Why did you bring the car? The hotel's not too far away." Louis asked as they
walked through the lobby after driving back from the restaurant.
"It's dark and there are almost no paths, I didn't want anything bad to happen
to you." Harry tightened his hold on Louis' hand.
"Oh...Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me."
~*~
"Here we are Mr. Tomlinson, right at your doorstep and on time." Harry said
making Louis giggle and roll his eyes.
"I'm surprised you brought me back on time." Louis fake gasped earning a hey
from Harry.
"Thanks...I had a really great time." Louis said opening the door to his room.
"I had a great time too, thank you for letting me take you out even
after...everything." Harry looked down fiddling with his fingers.
"Let's not think about that okay? All that matters is that we had a great time
and I really enjoyed spending time with you." Louis said then kissed his cheek
slowly pulling back never losing eye contact with him.
"Me too. I'll-I'll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast and to call Logan."
Harry said while Louis looked around nervously before he began speaking again.
"You could...sleep here with me if you want to. You don't have to if you don't
want to." Louis said holding the door open.
"Okay- yeah...I just let me go get changed and brush my teeth." Harry said then
headed to his room.
Louis busied himself with changing into a white t-shirt leaving only his boxers
on then brushed his teeth and by the time Harry was back knocking on his door
he was ready to go to sleep. He let him in and without saying anything shut the
light off and grabbed Harry's hand guiding him towards the bed where he noticed
the brand new clean sheets and got under the covers with Harry following after
him. Louis quickly settled down resting his head on Harry's chest throwing an
arm over it while Harry brushed his fingers through his hair and rubbed small
circles on his back helping Louis relax his muscles.
He sighed in content then closed his eyes unable to stop thinking about the
night they had shared together wanting to give himself to Harry again but
couldn't since none of them had condoms and he was still trying to get used to
the idea of actual sex. The more Louis thought about it the more his blood
rushed south making him get harder by the minute until Harry stopped what he
was doing when he felt him on his side of his leg.
"You don't have any condoms do you." Louis asked.
"No..." Harry answered breathlessly as he felt himself starting to get hard.
"No...we don't, I don't have to get inside you." Harry mumbled.
"I've...I've never really done anything...at all." Louis blushed a deep red
thanking the gods the room was dark.
"Get- if you're not comfortable and want me to stop just tell me okay? Get on
your back." Harry said loud enough for Louis to hear him.
Louis watched as Harry's dark figure reached to take his shirt off then got up
taking his pajama bottoms off getting back in the bed and in between Louis'
legs who he had already spread out for him. He quickly reached down to touch
him anywhere he could finding he was still wearing his boxers then sat up to
take his own shirt off leaving his boxes own as well.
"If you want me to stop just tell me and I'll stop okay." Harry said and Louis
only nodded.
He lay back down on the bed with Harry following and all Louis could feel were
warm lips kissing him then gasped when Harry moved downwards grinding his
erection against Louis' sending pleasurable waves through his dick, stomach and
lower back feeling it over and over the more Harry moved back and forth against
him. Almost as if he didn't have any sort of control over his own body Louis
spread his legs further apart and began rolling his hips around while Harry let
out a series of LouisLouisLouis increasing his movement.
"H- Harry..." Louis breathed out then whined when Harry began to slow down.
"Y- you want me to stop?" Harry asked slowing down until he wasn't moving at
all.
"N- no. Just don't stop." Louis continued rolling his hips biting on his bottom
lip when he felt Harry's erection slide down to his hole.
He began running his nails over the skin on Harry's back then kissed back when
Harry leaned down muffling his moans and grunts trying to keep quiet for some
unknown reason then brought their foreheads together when both of them began
getting closer and closer. A few minutes later both of them came moving rather
erratically shooting their load in their own boxes slowing their frantic
movements as both of them came down from their highs feeling equally exhausted,
Harry stayed where he was then pressed his lips against Louis' before he got up
and headed to the bathroom coming back with a warm wet towel.
He helped Louis get rid of his boxers then wiped his cum off before grabbing a
new pair putting them on so he would be comfortable, after he was done he wiped
his off him taking his boxers off then putting his pajama bottoms back on
before climbing back in bed where Louis wrapped his arm over him and kissed his
neck before he cuddled into him. Harry covered themselves with the duvet then
whispered a 'sweet dreams and love you angel' before he secured Louis in his
arms and like him fell sleep but this time wearing a tiny smile knowing Louis
would be there when he wakes up, not regretting what had happened or anything
at all.
Chapter End Notes
     Amazing fan art someone made for me in wattpad. :)
      

     [ photo image_zps15e6f548.jpg]
     Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     image_zps15e6f548.jpg
     Thanks for reading my attempt at a romantic diner date and am it
     scene. Lol
     Thoughts? :)
     I'm still doing character asks guys. http://
     meloveniall1994.tumblr.com/
***** I remember you laughing, so let's just laugh again* *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm sorry for taking longer to update, had personal problems then I
     got sick and when I was editing I got into a huge fight with my mom.
     Here it is, I honestly don't know how to feel about this chapter but
     I hope I don't disappoint you guys. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Did you take that pill?" Harry sat up out of nowhere from where he was laying
down next to a still sleepy Louis after dreaming all night long about Louis and
himself chasing after twenty hyper kids unable to control them.
"Yes, now get back here." Louis mumbled pulling him down again resting his head
on his chest.
"We should call Logan now...It's seven here so it's what, five in Doncaster?"
Harry yawned wanting to get up but too lazy to actually do it still exhausted
from the night before.
"What time's our flight again?" Louis rolled onto his back rubbing the sleep
out of his eyes.
"Tomorrow at four in the morning...And we get there Monday at nine in the
morning." Harry informed him finally getting up to get his phone to call their
daughter.
After calling Logan which consisted of her crying her eyes out wanting them to
go back because she missed them lots and wanted to give them a big hug they
hung up with the promise of getting there the next day before her bedtime to
kiss her night night. After staying in bed and a make out session they put on
their swimsuits and headed out to the pool to enjoy their last day in Hawaii.
They chose a spot that was perfectly shaded but close to the pool and lay down
on the white chaise lounge enjoying the nice cool breeze until Louis took his
sunglasses off noticing Nick Grimshaw across the pool sitting next to a man his
age staring directly at Harry who was oblivious to him. He looked at Harry who
was wearing his sunglasses and had his arms under his head looking up then
deciding to ignore Nick he leaned backwards putting his pair on again and
closed his eyes trying to relax.
"Wanna go for a swim?" Harry suddenly asked getting up followed by Louis after
he nodded leaving their sunglasses behind under a towel.
He jumped in a few seconds later after Harry into the warm water coming back up
then a few seconds later Harry did too shaking his head to get rid of the extra
water. Without saying anything Harry swam towards Louis grabbing him by the
waist bringing him closer to him kissing his jaw then finally his lips smiling
into the kiss when Louis wrapped his arms around his neck but then felt him
freeze when he heard his name being called by someone he knew so well. He
looked the way he had heard the voice and spotted Nick waving him over feeling
Louis' grip on his biceps getting tighter the more Nick called his name.
"Let's go see what he wants." Harry kissed Louis' forehead then swam towards
Nick who frowned once he saw Louis next to Harry.
"Hi Nick." Harry awkwardly said.
"Hey Harry...haven't seen you in a while. Are you two here together?" Nick
asked gesturing between both of them.
"Yeah, you've met Louis." Harry smiled wrapping his arm around his waist
bringing him closer to him.
"Yes I have, the guy that just left is my husband Tyler. Where did you leave
the little one?" Nick asked smiling a sickly sweet making Louis feel uneasy.
"She's home with our parents." Louis answered before Harry could.
"Oh I see. Taking some time off." Nick nodded.
"Mhm...Oh, we have to go but it was nice seeing you again." Louis faked a smile
then pulled Harry with him who followed without saying anything happy to be out
of there.
"I don't like him." Louis finally said as soon as they were back and far away
from Nick.
"He was okay...until he lied to me about being married. Didn't even invited
Liam or I to his wedding." Harry said swimming on his back around Louis.
"You're mad because he didn't even invited you to his wedding or because he got
married?" Louis asked before he could stop himself.
"None. And I don't like him, he spent three years trying to get in my pants and
never succeeded. I'm just surprised he got married." Harry shrugged moving to
stand next to Louis in the four feet area of the pool.
"This is personal but...how many guys have you been with? Don't include girls."
Louis asked quickly looking down.
"One." Harry simply answered.
"Oh I see." Louis grinned a little.
"Mhm...And he's got the bluest most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen." Harry
smiled a little walking closer to Louis.
"If you've only been with me then how did you figure out you were gay?" He
asked remembering how Harry always used to fool around with girls.
"Well...when I was with a girl it just, I couldn't enjoy it anymore and I
always used to think about someone else. Don't freak out okay...I always used
to think about you." Harry confessed blushing a deep red.
"Oh...um, that's- that's okay I guess. I tried dating two guys but it never
worked out. The first one ran as soon as he found out I had a one year old kid
and to be honest I didn't really cared and the second one was when Logan was
two but he only wanted sex and I couldn't and didn't want to give him that. He
also always kept asking who Logan's other father was so I stopped seeing him."
Louis said.
"I'm sorry I made you go through all of that." Harry sighed looking down at his
cold wet hands.
"They weren't right for me anyway so it's okay. Wait...you've only been with me
so that means you and Drew never did anything." Louis slowly realized.
"Never, he wanted to but I couldn't and now that I remember...I did made out
with Nick but I was kinda drunk, the only time I got drunk." Harry said fixing
his swimsuit.
"Good you didn't, he's an asshole and now I know why Logan never liked him."
Louis mumbled looking down remembering all the nasty things Drew had said to
him that even though he knew he was wrong they still hurt.
"Lou what's wrong?" Harry asked watching as Louis got out of the pool and went
back to their spots grabbing a towel to dry himself off a little.
He took a seat and waited for Harry to do the same before he lay back down
trying to ignore Harry's burning gaze on him.
"Remember when we were younger and you always used to say you wanted your first
kid to be a boy...And that you already had a name picked out for him?" Louis
asked.
"Yeah but that was back then." Harry said motioning for Louis to scoot over so
he could lay down next to him.
"Drew...He- he called me a slut and said I couldn't even give you the son
you've always wanted and that one day maybe he would." Louis confessed seeing
the way Harry clenched his jaw then took a deep breath before he kissed his
left temple.
"First of all you're not a slut and second, I don't really care if Logan is not
a boy. I love her with all my heart and I don't need a son because she's more
than enough for me. She's my precious lovebug and I love her, I also really
really love the tea she makes, it's my favorite." Harry said making Louis
laugh.
"It's just water from the bathroom sink Haz" Louis wrinkled his nose.
"It's tasty, specially when she adds her secret ingredient...pink glitter but
don't tell her we know." Harry whispered the last six words tickling Louis'
ear.
"You actually drink it?" Louis asked turning his head around a little too look
at Harry.
"I fake sip out of it when she's watching me...I'm just glad she hasn't tried
to feed me the dog's snacks anymore." Harry gave Louis a quick kiss then
nuzzled his face on the back of his neck while Louis shook with laughter.
"Are we going to that party tonight?" Louis asked still laughing.
"If you want to but let's not stay up too late, we have to be up really early."
Harry mumbled.
"Can we go...Nick keeps staring and its making me uncomfortable. You know what?
I'll meet you at the party, I have stuff to do and its in two hours." Louis got
up pecking Harry's lips before he walked away and Harry quickly left after he
saw Nick walking his way.
~*~
Harry walked through the crowd looking for Louis who he hadn't seen in a while
after he had disappeared, it was already eight at night and he just wanted to
find him before Nick could find him. He froze when he felt a pair of arms
wrapping around his waist and a pair of lips connecting with the back of his
neck, he was just about to push away whoever it was when the person let go and
moved to stand in front of him.
"I thought you were Nick. Where have you been?" Harry asked breathing out in
relief.
"He's here?" Louis asked looking around.
"Yeah, let's just ignore it and let's have some fun." Harry smiled pulling
Louis away from the crowded place.
Louis who was shy when it came to dancing and wasn't as confident spent his
time sitting at a table close to the bar on Harry's lap or next to him talking
about anything that would pop into their heads with the occasional kiss. They
were grateful no one had come to interrupt them because all they wanted was to
catch up and have a nice conversation in a place where no one knew their pasts.
Now that he could, Harry never missed a chance to tell Louis how much he loved
him and how beautiful he was making him blush a lovely shade of pink while
telling him he loved him back making Harry's heart skip a beat and feel nice
and warm every time Louis would say it or just simply showed him through his
touch and kisses.
"Are you two dating? Please tell me you're dating." April popped out of nowhere
smiling like a fool at Louis and Harry's intertwined hands.
Louis looked at Harry who had a hopeful look on his face then at April before
he nodded wrapping his arms around his waist resting his head on his chest
feeling Harry's lips on his forehead while April cooed at them. She left them
alone for the rest of the night then decided to leave when Nick who was by
himself kept trying to get in between them even if Harry was glued to Louis'
side refusing to unwrap his arm from around Louis' waist resulting in pulling
him to wherever Nick tried to pull Harry.
"Shit...I forgot my key." Harry groaned looking for it in his pockets once they
were back in the lobby.
"You can sleep with me, here's the key...let me just go ask for another
toothbrush." Louis smiled taking his key out not noticing he had dropped the
other one he had forgotten to return earlier but someone did and after Harry
walked away to the elevators he picked it up watching Louis walk up to him
before they left.
As soon as they were back Louis took a shower while Harry called the front desk
to ask for another one to have it ready so in the morning he could just go and
get his already packed suitcase. He looked around noticing how Louis now kept
everything neat and organized and not messy like when they were younger, he
grabbed a pair of clean boxers Louis had given him and walked to the bathroom
to take a shower as soon as Louis had gotten out. When he came back out Louis
was already in bed only wearing boxers watching a reality show on tv then
turned it off as soon as he saw Harry only wearing his boxers and patted the
other side of the bed giving him his key that had been delivered while he was
showering.
Harry took it then placed it on the bedside table next to his phone before he
turned back to Louis opening his arms for him to crawl into his lap while Louis
debated in his head whether to tell Harry what he had been thinking about since
the beginning of the party. Instead he wrapped his arms around Harry slowly
bringing him forward until their lips were barely touching then taking a moment
to look into his green eyes he leaned forward and kissed him.
"Make love to me." Louis mumbled in between kisses making Harry pull back to
look at him taking in his flushed face.
"We don't have any condoms Lou." Harry informed him.
"Yes we do." Louis shrugged passing both items to Harry who took them then
looked at Louis raising an eyebrow.
"When did you get this?" Harry asked following Louis with his eyes.
"Earlier today when I told you I had things to do. Just please, we won't have
any time for it when we get back. Trust me." Louis said emphasizing the last
words.
"We won't....none at all." Harry leaned forward kissing Louis and pushing him
backwards onto his back until Louis let himself fall pulling Harry down with
him.
Louis immediately reached for Harry's boxers pulling them down until nothing
was covering him then ran his hands from Harry's lower back to his shoulder
blades then all the way back down over and over making Harry shiver getting
hard by the second. Harry could feel Louis' erection on his thigh moving his
hands down to take his boxes off making Louis sigh in relief then lifted him up
placing Louis' knees on either side of him never breaking the kiss, he trailed
open mouth kisses down Louis' jaw and neck as his breathing became uneven
pulling on Harry's curls at the nape of his neck gasping when Harry gently
nibbled on his ear lobe then blew cool air into it.
"Love you." Harry whispered in his ear grabbing the bottle of lube.
"Love you too."
He pushed Louis on his back taking his sweet time to actually pour lube on his
fingers and once he was sure he wasn't going to hurt Louis he moved one of his
fingers circling Louis' entrance watching him as he grabbed fistfuls of the
sheets then slowly pushed his finger in making Louis gasp.
"You okay?" Harry asked moving his finger around searching for Louis' spot
finding it right away.
"Y- yeah...I think I'm ready for another one." Louis said taking a deep breath.
Soon Harry had two fingers inside of Louis moving them around carefully
stretching him open and once he had three fingers in and he was sure Louis was
ready he pulled them out wiping them off on the bed-sheets. He grabbed the
small foil square opening then rolling it in coating himself with more than
enough lube looking at Louis who nodded lifting himself up on his elbows to
kiss him. He cupped Louis' cheek with one hand rubbing circles with his thumb
to distract him as he guided his erection to Louis' entrance with his other
hand. He peppered his face with kisses when Louis whimpered as Harry slowly
pushed in trying to make it less painful for him then started moving as soon as
Louis nodded. He kept a steady pace pulling all the way out before pushing all
the way in as slow as he could burying his face on Louis' neck.
"Faster..." Louis mumbled running his fingers through Harry's hair after a few
minutes of Harry moving at the same peace feeling like he needed him to move
faster.
"I don't wanna hurt you." Harry answered lifting his head up to look at Louis.
"You won't...why did you stop moving?" Louis asked and suddenly Harry was
quiet.
"Last time I hurt you again and I don't wanna do that this time....let's go
slow." Harry started moving again painfully slow frustrating Louis to no end.
"Pull out...and get on your back." Louis said placing the palm of his hands on
Harry's chest pushing him away.
"Why? We were having a good time." Harry pouted pulling out of Louis then
getting on his back.
"You'll see?" Was all Louis said.
Louis straddled Harry grabbing his erection guiding it to his entrance then
slowly sank down all the way in then moved upwards again holding Harry's hips
down when he tried to lift them up before he moved down again. Without a word
Louis began rolling his hips in figure eights gasping then moaned loudly when
Harry wrapped his hand around him placing his index finger and thumb along his
cock slowly moving his hand up and down and using the other to bring him down
by the neck into a heated and messy kiss. Louis shifted so he was supporting
himself up on his knees resting the top of his feet on the top of Harry's
thighs moving up and down making Harry sit up so he could continue kissing him
not noticing when Harry shifted his angle hitting his prostate every time he
bounced back down until he felt the tip of his dick nudging it every time he
moved.
"I'm- I'm close." Harry gasped kneading Louis' bum helping him move up and down
when he began to slow down feeling his sweaty forehead on his shoulder.
They were too focused on each other they didn't notice Nick opening the door of
what he thought was Harry's room with the key Louis had dropped intending to
surprise Harry and finish what they couldn't finish last time he had seen him.
He frowned when he heard Harry chanting 'Louis' over and over again then
stumbled backwards when Louis and Harry came into view just as Louis let out a
loud moan followed by Harry as Louis slowed down his movements placing his
forehead on Harry's before they began kissing. As fast as he could Nick quickly
dropped the key on the carpeted floor and left the hotel room surprised at what
he saw since he remembered Harry telling him Louis hated him then shrugged it
off passing it as hate sex as he walked back to the party even if he knew it
was something more.
~*~
"We should shower again." Harry said carefully pulling out of Louis laying back
down on the bed.
"M'tired." Louis mumbled laying down on top of Harry closing his eyes and
feeling sleep taking over.
After getting rid of the condom Harry moved Louis' sweaty hair out of his
forehead then kissed it letting his lips linger longer than necessary, "C'mon
love, we're all sweaty...I'll help you." Harry mumbled lifting Louis up
carrying him to the bathroom where they ended up taking a shower together.
Noticing it was already one in the morning Harry woke Louis up again and
together after Louis had picked up the extra key from the floor guessing he had
dropped it there they had gotten all of their stuff including a gift for Logan
then checked out of the hotel taking a cab to the airport. As soon as they
boarded the plane Louis immediately fell asleep resting his head on Harry's
shoulder as Harry wondered what would happen to them once they were back in
England and hoped for their new founded relationship to get stronger and not
crumble down. A few minutes later he fell asleep snuggling closer to Louis as
far as the seats would allow it smiling because they were going to see their
little girl soon and he just wanted to hug her tight and kiss her little face.
Six hours into the flight Louis woke up to see Harry reading a magazine and
drinking Apple juice from a juice box without a care in the world as he fought
the urge to laugh.
"What are you drinking?" Louis asked stretching his back.
"This is the same juice I get for Logan and its so good, now I understand why
she's so addicted. Here." Harry said bringing the straw up to Louis' lips where
he sucked on it tasting it.
"It's good...how many have you had?" Louis asked grabbing the torn straw
plastic wrappers counting five just as Harry was finishing it.
"A few." He shrugged reaching for another one.
"Nope, that's enough juice. Leave it for later or your bladder's gonna
explode." Louis took the juice box away from him.
"Now that you mention it, I'll be right back." Harry kissed Louis before he got
up to relieve himself while Louis shook his head smiling.
~*~
"I've been thinking...Are we gonna tell them we're together now?" Harry asked
thirty minutes later after he had gotten back.
"Please don't get mad but...I think we should keep it between us for now, get
Logan used to seeing us together first then we can tell everyone else." Louis
said putting his book down then cupped Harry's cheek rubbing circles with his
thumb.
"Okay, whatever you want. Liam dropped my car off at the airport so we can go
get Logan as soon as we get there." Harry said smiling like a fool.
"Thirteen more hours." Louis mumbled burying his face on Harry's neck.
They stayed quiet for the next hour reading a book after eating a late
breakfast and for the next thirteen hours either slept, talked or played on
their phones. Four hours before landing Louis had gotten from his seat
motioning for Harry to follow a few minutes later and what started as a simple
make out turned into sex once again with Harry holding Louis up against the
wall by the back of his thighs slowly pushing into him while Louis bit into his
shoulder trying to keep quiet. Harry bit his bottom lip drawing out a few drops
of blood when he came into the condom and glad that Louis had stopped his load
from staining their shirts, he kissed him one more time as they pulled their
pants back on letting Louis walk back to their seats before he did.
After they were sure they had all of their stuff they found Harry's car parked
there just like Liam had promised and left to Doncaster expecting to get there
by noon. They called Anne and Jay on the way there to let them know they were
on their way and that they were going to be spending the night there not
wanting to drive back to London when they were already tired.
~*~
"We're here." Louis sighed getting out of the car walking to the back to
retrieve his and Harry's bags.
"I'm so tired." Harry yawned getting his bag.
"Sucks for you because you're not getting any sleep." Louis smiled innocently
going for a kiss but stopped himself when he remembered they couldn't know yet.
As soon as they were in front of Jay's house where both of their mums, Gemma
and Logan were supposed to be, Anne opened the door hugging them and pulling
them inside the silent house.
"Hi Anne. Where's Logan?" Louis asked looking around for her.
"I sent Gemma out to get groceries for the big welcome back dinner tonight and
Logan tagged along, Jay had to go too to help her." Anne said wearing the
biggest smile.
"Hope she didn't give you any trouble." Louis said knowing how Logan was.
"None at all. She's my gorgeous little angel, wouldn't hurt a fly. We really
missed you both, I'm glad you're here." Anne said pulling them into another hug
just as Buttercup came running through the kitchen door waggling his tail
looking for attention.
"Hi boy! I missed you." Harry bent down to pet him followed by Louis.
"I'm gonna go shower before they get here." Louis announced grabbing his bag
walking upstairs.
Once he was alone he stopped in front of what used to be his bedroom and with
shaky hands and taking a deep breath he opened the door expecting flashbacks
but nothing happened, he walked inside noticing that the walls were now painted
a light purple instead of the sky blue they had once been. He looked one more
time around then got out closing the door after himself heading to the bathroom
in the hallway to take a shower feeling a little bit better. An hour later
after both of them had showered and were eating the food Anne had prepared for
them they heard the door slam open followed by the sound of small feet running
to the kitchen shouting 'ninna, the munchkins home' then she came into view
stopping when she saw them sitting around the table.
"Daddies..." She whimpered running up to Louis who quickly caught her in his
arms hugging her and kissing her as she wrapped his arm around his neck and the
other around Harry's bringing them closer.
"I missed you love." Louis said as she kissed his cheek then Harry's.
"We going home now daddy?" Logan asked him putting his hand on his cheek
grabbing Harry's sleeve with the other.
"Not today love, tomorrow we are." Louis smiled kissing her again.
"Hi daddy." Logan reached for Harry who took her in his arms.
"Hi lovebug, I missed you so much." Harry hugged her tight.
"I missed you too." She sighed.
"When did you get back?" Jay asked hugging them.
"About an hour ago." Louis said stroking Logan's hair who had decided to go
back into his arms after giving Harry lots of kisses and telling each other how
much they loved each other.
"How was Hawaii, lots of hot guys?" Gemma wiggled her eyebrows wincing when
Anne lightly smacked her shoulder.
"Daddy why are they hot?" Logan asked Louis making everyone laugh and coo at
her.
Both Jay and Anne ended up sending Louis and Harry to Anne's place so they
could spend time alone with Logan after she refused to be put down and had to
be held by either of them. They made a quick trip to the park where Logan made
them play hide-n-seek resulting in her getting lost a few times until Harry
decided it was enough or he was going to end up having a heart attack if she
disappeared again. They had gone back home and sat down to watch a movie
snuggling together with Logan in the middle until they were called back for
dinner giving each other a kiss when Logan was too busy petting the dog to
notice. During dinner Mark couldn't help but notice Louis looked happier and
had a certain glow then observed both of them seeing the tiny smiles they would
give to each other choosing not to say anything and just hoping for whatever
they had to end up well not wanting to see his son crying again.
~*~
That night after Gemma had gone home and both Robin and Anne were asleep Harry
carefully and silently walked to where Louis and Logan were sleeping in the
same room and opened the door seeing them clearly with her night light, she was
asleep on top of Louis' chest then he got under the covers next to Louis
wrapping his arms around them kissing both of their foreheads waking Louis up
who tightened his grip on Logan out of instinct.
"Harry?" Louis mumbled blinking the sleep out of his eyes trying to see him.
"It's just me love, go back to sleep." Harry whispered bringing them closer to
him.
"I love you." Louis whispered falling back sleep.
"I love you more, both of you." Harry said closing his eyes.
He felt Logan shifting around letting her hand drop right on his face smacking
his forehead hearing Louis' low chuckles, he grabbed her hand and kissed her
knuckles putting it back down in a comfortable position. Harry spent his night
being kicked by Logan's knees or hit on the face with the back of her hand and
occasionally getting drool on his chest and shoulder but if you asked him he
would tell you that was one of the best nights he's ever had with his family.
Chapter End Notes

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     Thoughts? :) and again sorry for taking forever to update
***** We all have our faults, mine come in waves that you turn to rust* *****
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG!! :)
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p58mpg3bXN8
     WARNING: This chapter contains homophobic language and its extremely
     violent, please don't read if you're not comfortable. Listen to the
     song. Please don't kill me!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Shh, don't wake daddy up." Harry mumbled pulling a barely awake Logan away
from a still sleeping Louis before she could wake him up.
He pulled her close to him and softly sang her their lullaby to get her to go
back to sleep seeing it was only five in the morning and Louis needed to sleep
longer, ten minutes later she was back asleep sucking on her thumb touching
Harry with the right side of her body and Louis with her leg and free hand
after moving around trying to find a comfortable position. The next time Harry
woke up Louis was in the bathroom and Logan was sitting in the middle of the
bed brushing one of her Barbie's hair while Harry wanted to brush hers seeing
it all tangled up from moving around too much during the night knowing she did
because she wasn't used to sleeping with both Louis and himself yet. He rolled
to his left side catching Logan's attention smiling at her when she gave him a
toothy grin, he wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't when Logan crawled up
to him and began brushing his hair with the Barbie's plastic brush pulling on
it.
"That's hurting daddy, baby." Harry mumbled grabbing her hand to stop her from
pulling his hair where he felt it stinging.
"Sorry sorry." Logan quickly said then kissed it to make it okay like Louis
kissed her boo boos.
"Thank you love, I feel so much better now." Harry smiled sitting up to kiss
her trying to fix her crazy hair seeing she was wearing her princess and the
frog pajamas he had for her at his flat but since she spent time in both
sometimes Louis or him ended up taking clothes back and forth not really
noticing.
"Kisses and hugs always make you feel better daddy." She nodded putting her
Barbie down before she crawled into his lap to give him a hug.
"Hugging fest and I wasn't invited." Louis gasped walking out of the bathroom.
"Get over here." Harry smiled opening his arms wrapping them around them as
soon as Louis was inside them.
He lay back down pulling them with him shifting around to make it comfortable
for them ending up with Logan on top of him sprawled like a starfish on his
chest and Louis next to him with half his body on top of his resting his head
next to Logan's. Louis kissed Logan's forehead smiling when she kissed his then
his cheek and the tip of his nose, he then lifted his head up to give Harry a
kiss knowing their daughter was watching them but the faster she got used to
them being affectionate with each other the faster they were going to be able
to not hide their relationship anymore. He hated keeping their love, keeping
them a secret when they should be able to hug and kiss whenever they felt like
it without worrying about them thinking it was wrong or too soon after
everything. They looked down again seeing Logan furiously brushing the dolls
hair again without a care in the world quietly counting from one to ten then
starting all over again after the ten.
"Is my mum up?" Harry asked.
"It's eight thirty...Robin just left a few minutes ago so I think she's still
sleeping and Gemma texted me saying she'll be here in thirty minutes or so."
Louis said drawing circles on Harry's chest with his index finger.
"I should make breakfast." Harry said passing Logan to Louis kissing both of
their foreheads then got up and walked to the bathroom closing and locking the
door since Logan had picked up the habit of walking in like she owned the place
not caring who was in there.
"Daddy I'm hungry." Logan said trying to wrap her arms around Louis without
letting go of her doll resting her head on his left shoulder.
"Daddy curly's gonna make breakfast, we have to wait until he makes it." Louis
rubbed her back remembering how she used to chew on his shoulder when she was a
baby glad that she didn't do it anymore because he would always have a wet
patch on his left shoulder.
"I want pancakes...or the toast from the French." Logan said lifting her head
up from his shoulder smacking a kiss on Louis' temple.
"You can ask him to make you what you want but right now we have to get you out
of those pajamas." Louis smiled poking her tummy making her giggle.
He set her down on the bed and walked to the closet where Gemma had told him
she had put her clothes along with new dresses she had gotten her and almost
jumped when he felt small arms wrapping around his thighs, he pulled a pair of
black pants and a pink and white shirt putting them back when she frowned at
them. He heard Harry opening the bathroom door then him walking towards the
closet and felt strong arms wrapping around his waist.
"What do you guys want for breakfast?" Harry asked after kissing Louis' cheek.
"Pancakes?" Louis turned around to face him feeling Logan pulling on his shirt.
"Daddies, I want toast from the French." Logan announced looking up at them
frowning when they didn't pay her any attention.
"I think my mum is up." Harry said holding Louis closer.
"Toast from the French Harry!" Logan screamed trying to push Harry away from
Louis fed up from not getting any attention and her French toast.
"Hey! No pushing young lady, that's not nice." Louis scolded her expecting her
to apologize or burst out crying like she usually did when Harry was around but
she only crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes into slits.
"Auntie Gemma taught you that didn't she?" Harry bent down grabbing her arms
putting them back on her sides.
"I want toast from the French daddy...please." Logan's eyes began shining with
unshed tears knowing Harry always did what she wanted when there were tears
involved making Louis wonder where the hell had she learned to coax the tears
out that fast.
"Okay okay, I'll go make you your toast from the French your highness." Harry
chuckled kissing her forehead getting up to go make breakfast.
"What did I say about pushing people, hmm?" Louis asked crouching down to be on
her level after Harry was gone knowing he would just tell him to let it go.
"....s'not nice." Logan mumbled avoiding Louis' gaze.
"You know it's not nice and I don't like it so please don't do it again, okay?"
Louis said grabbing a pair of black leggings and a simple purple long sleeved
dress.
"Okay..." Logan said just as Louis grabbed her hand walking back to the bed so
he could change her.
He ended up standing in front of Logan waiting for her to ask him for help when
she insisted on changing our of her pajamas by herself, he smiled showing her
the right way to put on the dress after she had tried to put it backwards then
had to help her put on the leggings letting her pull them up on her own. As
soon as she was ready he quickly made the bed and changed into a pair of black
jeans and a grey hoodie then grabbed Logan's hand and headed downstairs hearing
Harry and Anne laughing making Logan walk a little faster to get there. Harry
was in front of the stove while Anne was cutting strawberries brightening up
even more when Logan ran up to her and hugged her legs giggling when she
noticed Buttercup eating his food.
"Honey, let him eat first, you have to eat too." Anne bent down to give her a
good morning kiss and a piece of strawberry.
"Morning Anne, morning Harry." Louis greeted them acting as if it was the first
time seeing him that morning.
"Morning." Both Harry and Anne answered smiling while Anne gave him a hug and
kissed his cheek.
"Is it the toast from the French, daddy?" Logan asked Harry lifting her arms up
so he could pick her up.
"Yes lovebug, they're almost ready." Harry picked her up kissing her cheek
while Louis helped set the table.
"I got more milk!" Jay shouted from the front door walking in with a gallon of
milk a few seconds later.
"Nana!" Logan shouted wiggling out of Harry's arms stopping when he passed her
to her.
"Good morning baby." Jay smiled kissing her cheek.
"Daddy's making toast from the French." Logan proudly announced moving her
curls out of her face.
"He is, that's all you want for breakfast now." Jay poked her cheek making her
giggle.
"Morning mum." Louis walked up to Jay wrapping his arms around both of them.
"Morning sweetheart. How are you doing?" She stroked his back kissing his
temple.
"Great! Slept like a baby." Louis mumbled kissing her cheek.
"You look less tired, Logan didn't wake you up at some ungodly hour today?" Jay
asked.
"No, not today. Wait...did she woke up any of you?" Louis asked looking around
before his eyes finally settled on Logan who jumped out of Jay's arms into his
making him grunt when he caught her.
"Woke Gemma up a few times." Anne said, fondness showing in her voice.
"What did you wake auntie Gemma up for, huh?" Louis softly asked her pressing
his forehead against hers before kissing the tip of her nose seeing Harry
smiling from the corner of his eye.
"I use the potty then went night night again." Logan answered wrapping her arms
around his neck resting her left cheek on Louis' left one.
"M'kay then." Louis smiled.
"Breakfast's ready." Harry announced setting a plate full of food in the middle
of the table.
Louis washed his hands helping Logan wash hers then set her down where she
quickly ran up to Harry holding her arms up to him so he could help her up into
her chair and once Louis was sitting next to her she began eating the small
pieces of toast Harry had cut into smaller pieces for her. Louis carefully
watched her when she got on her knees to be able to better reach the table
making sure she was safe not wanting her to fall off and get hurt while she
chatted about baby Isaac to Harry. She stopped talking when she heard Gemma's
voice begging Louis to get her out of her chair in between Harry and himself so
she could go hug her and give her kisses and after he did she took off running
to the front door coming back in Gemma's arms.
"Morning everybody." Gemma greeted them sitting down next to Anne with Logan in
her lap after kissing both Anne and Jay on the cheek.
"Morning brainless, want some breakfast?" Harry smiled reaching out to ruffle
her hair smiling fondly.
"Of course knucklehead." Gemma said then turned to Logan smiling mischievously,
"He likes messing with my hair because his looks like a badly built birds nest,
twigs everywhere." Gemma dramatically sighed while Logan giggled.
"Hey!" Harry pouted trying not to smile.
"Poor baby got stuck with Hazza's unruly curls instead of Louis' flawless
hair." Gemma continued teasing him hugging her niece close to her.
"I love daddy's curls." Logan frantically nodded.
"Of course you do princess, you're biologically programmed to do so." Gemma
winked at Louis who had his hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing.
"Okay, no French toast for you." Harry pulled the plate away from her.
"No, okay I'll stop." Gemma quickly said taking the plate back giving Logan to
Louis so she could finish her breakfast.
"That's what I thought." Harry stuck his tongue out at her.
"Oh my God Harry, not even Logan does that." Gemma laughed making Harry blush
and Louis reach to hold his hand from under the table smiling at him not
noticing Jay and Anne looking at them then at each other sharing a knowing
look.
After breakfast Anne and Jay left to take a short walk around the neighborhood
while Gemma challenged both Logan and herself to build a two thousand puzzle
piece leaving Louis and Harry to clean the kitchen on their own. Deciding that
Harry would do the washing and Louis the drying they started working in a
comfortable silence hearing Gemma praising Logan whenever she found a piece.
Making sure that no one would come in Harry grabbed Louis by the waist
carefully pushing him against the sink taking the damp rag out his hands after
they were done and kissed him sucking on his bottom lip making up for the time
he couldn't during breakfast. He shivered feeling Louis' cold and slightly wet
hands running up and down his bare back underneath his shirt as he tightened
his grip around Louis' waist rubbing small circles on his lower back with his
thumbs ignoring the rest of the world as their tongues fought for dominance.
"Umm...well this is new." Gemma said behind them as they quickly scrambled away
from each other blushing a deep red trying to fix their clothes and hair.
"Gemma, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Logan?" Harry
asked trying to even out his breaths.
"You bloody wankers since when?" Gemma asked walking up to them looking overly
excited and grinning like a mad man.
"We uhh...." Harry stuttered looking at Louis for help.
"First night in Hawaii." Louis answered realizing three was no use in trying to
hide it from her.
"And you're dating now? You guys sleep together now, no wonder why Logan keeps
telling me you both go 'night night' with her." Gemma said making air
quotations around the two words with her fingers.
"Could you maybe keep it between us for now? We just need time for ourselves
and get used to the whole dating thing before announcing it." Louis pleaded
hoping for her to say yes.
"Of course! Gosh you don't even have to ask, but do try to tone it down a bit
because I think mum and Jay are starting to suspect something's going on.
Anyway...gotta go back to the princess, she's waiting. This is the best day of
my life so far." Gemma sighed putting a dirty bowl on the sink before walking
out of the kitchen back to the living room with Logan.
"That was...that was unexpected." Louis mumbled wrapping his arms around
Harry's torso resting his head on his chest.
"She's not gonna say anything, I know she won't." Harry sighed hugging Louis
closing his eyes enjoying having him in his arms.
"You still got one more dish to wash." Louis said looking at Harry then burst
out laughing.
An hour later Gemma and Logan were still working on the puzzle with both Harry
and Louis' help until Logan got bored and decided to bring Kelly and Victoria
out to play with Harry giving him Kelly since her hand was all chewed up and
she liked Valerie more. Harry ignored Gemma's teasing when he had to do his
best impression of Kelly going out shopping with Valerie then their fancy
dinner where Harry had to help her change their clothes looking at the weird
skinny plastic body weirded out by them since he was never a fan of Barbies
when he and Gemma were younger. Logan jumped up from her spot when she heard
Jay and Anne coming in brightening up when she saw Anne holding a baby boy
running up to her to see him knowing it was Isaac, Cassandra's baby brother.
"Hey mum, whose baby is that?" Harry asked picking up Logan's abandoned doll.
"This is Isaac, Roxanne's baby. She had to take Cassandra to the doctor and
asked us if we could watch him." Anne said as Jay waved his blue diaper bag
around.
"Ninna can I hold him please?" Logan asked looking up at Anne pouting her
bottom lip reminding Anne of a four year old Harry who used to do the same.
"Sure munchkin but you have to sit down, remember?" Anne smiled watching her as
she nodded and went to take a seat next to Louis who smiled and kept an eye on
Logan when Anne bent down.
"Be careful with his head love." Louis said moving closer to her as soon as
Anne set the baby in her arms but didn't let go.
"He's cute daddy." Logan giggled just as Isaac opened his bright green eyes
letting out a loud high pitched cry startling Logan who tried to get him away
from her and ended up in Louis' arms as he lightly bounced him up and down
trying to calm him down.
"You're a fussy baby aren't ya?" Louis cooed at him.
"I didn't hurt him daddy." Logan quickly said getting off of the couch running
to Harry who caught her in his arms.
"You didn't hurt him love, he's just a little fussy." Louis smiled at her then
down at the baby who was watching Louis back with curiosity.
Harry held Logan closer watching as Louis shifted the baby around so he was on
his lap facing him then fixed his hat before lifting him up against his chest
by his bum holding the back of his head with his other hand. Louis holding a
baby was quite beautiful in Harry's eyes and began to feel a hole in his chest
regretting like he did all the time ever hurting him because if he hadn't been
such an idiot and a disgrace then maybe he would've had the chance to properly
ask Louis to be his boyfriend, marry him and have children the right way. He
was grateful to have Logan and he loved her to death to the point of dying for
her but he just wished she had been conceived under different circumstances and
not when he had forced himself on Louis.
"Wanna hold him Harry?" Louis asked looking at the baby then at him.
"Uh...Yeah, sure." Harry said passing Logan to Gemma after kissing her cheek
then sat down next to Louis holding his arms out like Logan had done making
Jay, Anne and Gemma chuckle.
Louis carefully placed the baby in his arms and once he was safe in them he
fixed his blanket smiling the whole entire time while Harry was afraid to even
move feeling the small weight of the baby moving around and never staying
still. He was beginning to feel comfortable holding him when the baby began
crying again as Harry desperately tried to calm him down copying what Louis had
done but failed when the baby cried louder. Louis who knew what he wanted asked
Anne for his pacifier then gave it to him hearing the baby's cries reduce to
whimpers before finally stopping. A few minutes later Harry gave the baby back
to Anne thinking about probably not having any more kids because he didn't know
a thing about them and if everything worked out between Louis and himself like
he was hoping then he wasn't sure Louis would want to have another baby with
him in the future.
*~*
"I thought I was gonna break him." Harry mumbled against Louis' neck hugging
him tighter.
"You did great." Louis assured him as he ran his fingers through his curls.
Anne and Jay had gone to drop Isaac off and get the girls from school while
Gemma was out at the park with Logan leaving Louis and Harry alone to do as
they pleased without hiding. They were laying down on Harry's bed with half of
Harry's body on top of Louis, and arms wrapped around him and head resting on
his shoulder while Louis played with his curls. After kissing for a while they
had decided to stop or it will only lead to sex once again and that was
something they couldn't do knowing anyone could get home at any moment and
didn't want to get caught so cuddling was safer and they loved just being in
each others arms.
"I love you." Harry mumbled inhaling Louis' scent.
"I love you too." Louis smiled feeling Harry's lips on his neck.
"Mum's home." Harry lifted his head up to look at Louis.
"We should go downstairs and start dinner." Louis looked around then got up
when Harry did but not before pressing his lips against Harry's getting to the
kitchen just as Anne, Jay and the girls walked through the door.
"LouLou where's Logan?" Daisy asked.
"We brought her candy." Phoebe continued waving the plastic bag around.
"That's really nice of you girls, thank you. Just please don't give her any
before dinner or she won't eat." Louis smiled giving them each a kiss on the
forehead.
Louis took the candy putting it up in the cupboard to give them a few pieces
after dinner just as Logan came in running with an exhausted and frightened
Gemma behind her putting her hair up in a ponytail. Logan ran up to Louis
hugging his legs then looked up at him with watery eyes and pouty lips wanting
to be picked up and as soon as Louis did she burst out crying clinging to him
shaking a bit while Gemma looked nervously at Harry biting on her bottom lip.
"Gemma what happened? Are you okay, why is she crying?" Harry frantically asked
walking up to her hugging her and reaching to kiss Logan's forehead.
"Gemma what happened? You're scaring me sweetheart." Anne insisted while Jay
gestured for Lottie and Fizz to take the twins back to her house then waited
for them to leave before she turned to Gemma.
"I- It's dad Harry." Gemma's voice trembled.
"What, Gemma what's wrong with Robin?" Harry asked thinking the worse case
scenarios where their dad could be badly hurt.
"No Harry...dad's back." Gemma shuddered and Harry felt his blood going cold
with fear but mostly anger.
"Did you see him? Did he hurt you...did he hurt her?" Harry took a step back
grabbing Gemma by the shoulders, his blood boiling at the thought, hearing
Logan's loud cries while Louis and Jay tried to comfort her and Anne could only
watch her children talking.
"W- We were walking b- back and he saw me, he got out of his car wanting to t-
talk and he saw her. He asked if she was mine and when I t- told him she was
yours he started asking who was the mother and- and I'm sorry Harry, I told him
she was Louis' too and he started saying horrible things and yelling so I ran
with her. I'm so sorry Harry, he scared her...And he- he's coming here. I'm
sorry." Gemma started crying just as Harry went numb feeling Louis' hand on his
back.
"Harry what's going..." Louis tried to ask but stopped when he saw Harry's
panicked expression.
"Get your stuff, we're leaving." Harry said taking Logan hugging her close to
his chest as the tears began overflowing his eyes.
"Why?" Louis asked.
"I don't want him near you much less her so just get your stuff...I'll just do
it myself." Harry said then took off running towards the stairs with Logan in
his arms and Louis following after leaving Anne and Jay behind with Gemma.
"Harry what's going on, what's wrong?" Louis asked grabbing Harry by the arm
just as he was grabbing whatever stuff he could find of Logan's.
"Louis please just get your stuff so we can leave before he gets here." Harry
finally snapped feeling horrible when Louis flinched and took a step back,
"Lou..." Harry took a step forward feeling his chest tightening when Louis took
Logan and moved away from him.
"You're ashamed of us, aren't you? You don't want your dad to see me and know
you had a kid with me. You never changed...You're still the same asshole who
only cares about himself." Louis felt the hot tears running down his cheeks
feeling stupid for believing Harry, for believing he loved him back when it had
all been a lie.
"No Louis that's not- I do love you. I love you both so much I just can't let
him near you." Harry grabbed Louis' cheeks wiping the tears away with his
thumbs then let go wrapping his arms around them kissing the side of Louis'
head, "Please...we have to go, please."
"Then why? I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on." Louis
wrapped his free arm around his waist feeling Harry's breath tickling his ear
and Logan's tiny hiccups.
"I don't want him to hurt you or Logan...I would never forgive myself." Harry
whispered then tensed up when he heard the doorbell then aggressive knocking
making Logan cry again.
"Where is he!?" Harry's eyes widened and started shaking hearing his father's
angry voice booming around the house.
"Adam stop, what's wrong with you?" Anne shouted trying to keep him from going
upstairs and away from Harry, Louis and especially Logan.
"Go to my room and get out of there, get Lottie to open her window and hide
there. I love you, both of you." Harry kissed him then Logan's sweaty forehead
before he left the room deciding it was time to stand up for himself, he wasn't
the same little kid who was scared shitless of him anymore.
While Harry slowly walked downstairs Louis almost ran to Harry's room seeing
his sisters huddled up in Lottie's bed, he opened the window and motioned for
Lottie to do the same when she noticed him waving at her to catch her
attention. He looked back just as Logan cried harder hearing Harry and his
biological father shouting at each other then something breaking and a cry of
pain coming from Harry making Louis want to run and get him out of there. Just
as Lottie opened the window he could hear Anne and Gemma screaming at Adam to
let Harry go.
"Louis what's going on? I just called dad and he said Robin and him are on
their way." Lottie's voice trembled on the verge of tears hearing the commotion
downstairs.
"Take her and lock all the doors and windows and stay here in your room
okay...play music or whatever, anything to keep them from hearing." Louis
carefully passed Logan over to her to keep them from falling feeling her small
hands pulling on his shirt.
"Daddy no, no leave me...Daddy." She cried holding onto him tighter.
"I'll be right back love. I'm not leaving you, I'm coming back with Harry to
get you later." Louis kissed her forehead giving Lottie her blanket and teddy
bear he had managed to grab and as soon as Lottie had her she locked the window
and pulled down the shutters.
He quickly made his way downstairs seeing Gemma and Anne in front of an angry
Adam shielding Harry away from him who was in Jay's arms, he looked back at
Adam seeing him glaring at him then at Harry again quickly running to him when
he noticed Harry's split bottom lip and the rag he was holding covered in
blood. Louis slowly lifted his head up by the chin inspecting the cut on his
lip and then his nose feeling anger towards Adam building up in his stomach
seeing Harry crying and the bruise forming on his left eye then took the rag
and began wiping the blood off.
"I told you to go with Lottie. Where's Logan?" Harry mumbled.
"With Lottie. What's going on, why did he do this to you?" Louis asked just as
the door opened and Robin and Mark walked in taking in the scene.
"Just leave, get out and never comeback! I'll be damned if I ever let you touch
him again." Gemma managed to say through her sobbing.
"Gemma...." Harry warned her.
"The faggot deserved it!" Adam shouted making all of them flinch.
"No he didn't, he didn't deserve any of it." Gemma cried.
"Gemma shut up." Harry nearly growled taking a step forward but was held back
by Louis who wrapped his arm around his waist not caring who saw anymore.
"No Harry, . I'm not gonna shut up. They need to know what this sick bastard
did to you, I can't keep it secret anymore, it's killing me...I almost lost you
two times because of him and I couldn't protect you." Gemma looked at Harry
then back at Adam with a hateful and disgusted expression.
"Gemma...You promised." Harry took another step pleading to her.
"I need to know what, Gemma?" Anne asked.
"It's nothing mum." Harry said.
"Adam just leave." Robin said putting his hand on Adam's shoulder while Mark
stood next to Jay, Louis and Harry.
"Don't tell me what to do." Adam growled shaking his hand off of his shoulder.
"This...thing....hurt Harry. When Harry came out to him a year before Louis did
thinking he would support him and understand him-"
"Gemma shut up!" Harry interrupted her while Louis and everyone else stared at
him.
"I was doing the right thing and you know it Gemma, I was trying to save him
from burning in hell." Adam argued.
"How was beating your son until he passed out, cutting him, kicking him and
making him go through all your damn satanic rituals saving him? You were
supposed to protect him, not hurt him. He trusted you and I was so stupid for
not saying anything but how could I if when I tried to stop you you beat me
with a belt. I was stupid for promising my little brother I'll keep my mouth
shut but not anymore." Gemma confessed just as Anne burst out crying then out
of nowhere slapped Adam across the face.
"You son of a bitch how could you! My babies..." Anne lunged forward scratching
him on the cheek leaving a long angry red mark behind before Mark pulled her
away from him and Robin stepped in between them.
"Get out of my house and never comeback again." Robin yelled.
Louis wrapped his arms around Harry bringing his head down to his shoulder
feeling his hot tears soaking his skin and shirt as he cried not believing what
Gemma had just confessed, he didn't want to believe it because it hurt, it hurt
to know all the horrible things that had been done to Harry when he was just a
boy and he had kept quiet going through it all alone. Now he understood
everything, he understood why Harry had been so afraid and had done what he
did. His dad had been understanding while Harry's biological dad had done
horrible things to his own son.
"I thought you had been saved when you stopped going on and on about Louis here
then...I hear you're still with this faggot good for nothing who turned you
just like him." Adam spat as Jay grabbed Mark's hand to keep him from attacking
Adam.
"He didn't do anything, he didn't turn me. Just leave...I did so many awful
things to him, I- I became a monster because of you and I hurt my best friend,
the only person I have always loved." Harry cried looking small and vulnerable.
"Shut up! You don't love him. You're sinners...managing to create the devil's
spawn together just like all those other animals." Adam spat and all Harry saw
in that moment was red.
He pushed out of his way whoever was on his path and punched Adam across the
face sending him down to the floor not caring if he was his father anymore
because to him he was dead and his one and only father was Robin, the father
figure who was everything Adam couldn't and would never be. He could hear the
faint screams and feel their hands trying to pull him away as he landed punch
after punch at him blinded by rage, revenge and pain, all that he had put him
through throughout the years he was finally letting out.
"I let you. hurt me. and do. things to me. but I'm not gonna. let you. talk
about. Louis and my daughter. like that! Fucking bastard!" Harry screamed
punching him harder.
His vision was blurred by all the tears as he sobbed loudly and punching him
one more time he lifted his limp body up slamming him against the wall then
wrapped his hands around his neck tightening his grip ignoring Louis' pleas to
let him go as he squeezed harder closing his eyes not wanting to see him. He
finally let go when Louis mentioned their daughter begging him to think about
her and to stop letting him fall to the ground with a loud thump then took a
step back looking at Adam's bloody face then his own hands in complete horror
realizing he had become just like him once again and fell down on his knees
covering his face with his hands crying and shaking violently. He tensed up
when he felt arms wrapping around him and a pair of lips on his temple relaxing
when he heard Louis whispering 'it's okay's' and 'I love you's' on his ear
while he rubbed his back trying to calm him down.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." Harry sobbed rocking himself back and forth hearing
Adam coughing while Louis made sure his dad and Robin were holding him down.
"Shh...You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing." Louis mumbled and not caring
anymore pressed his lips against Harry's feeling everyone's eyes on them but in
that moment all he cared about was Harry, his Harry.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_inline_mvwoz66lzW1rlbval_zpsdc77f541.gif]
      
      
      
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_inline_mvwoz66lzW1rlbval_zpsdc77f541.gif
***** Forget what he did, can I be the kid for your soul to keep?* *****
Chapter Notes
     Oh my gosh I'm such a horrible human being. I'm so sorry for taking
     forever to update. Mom got sick then I got sick too Thursday then had
     work all day Friday and half a day Saturday. Then I had to do chores
     and every time I would sit down to write my family would interrupt
     me. But here it is and I hope it wasn't too shitty, I was under a lot
     of pressure. Hope you liked it. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Louis hugged Harry tighter while Robin and Mark took Adam to the kitchen to try
and clean him up a bit letting go when Anne and Gemma walked up to them, he got
up as soon as Anne hugged Harry and Gemma telling them how sorry she was. He
walked towards Jay and let her hug him close when he burst out crying as soon
as he was in her arms needing some sort of comfort after finding out all the
things Adam had done to Harry and witnessing him beating his father to a pulp
almost killing him. He glanced his way seeing Anne rocking him back and forth
while he sobbed and clung to her like a small child then Gemma slowly got up
and came back with a water bottle and tissues sitting down next to him.
"The police are on their way." Mark murmured to Jay.
"You called them?" Louis asked wiping off the wetness of his cheeks with his
sleeves.
"Yeah...come here," Mark pulled Louis into a hug. "None of you boys are what he
said and neither is my granddaughter. Remember that, always." Mark rubbed his
back feeling Louis nodding on his shoulder.
"Anne asked you to call them?" Jay asked wrapping her arms around them.
"Robin. He wants him to pay for what he did to Harry and Gemma, they're adults
now but it's still child abuse...they were just children. Harry was just- he
was just fifteen and Gemma seventeen." Mark said feeling a lump forming in his
throat.
When the police arrived Harry was still in his mother's arms and once he saw
them he began to panic until Louis calmed him down telling him they were there
for Adam to take him away where he would never be able to lay another finger on
him ever again. After all of them gave their statements including a very
nervous Harry that covered his ears to keep himself from hearing the
obscenities Adam was shouting at him while he was being carried outside. As
soon as he was outside Harry suddenly got up and ran outside ignoring their
shouts telling him to come back and stopped in front of Adam who was looking
back at him in disgust.
"Here to finish the job?" Adam croaked out making a new wave of fresh tears
roll down Harry's cheeks as the two policemen looked down tightening their grip
on him.
"Why?" Harry's voice trembled wiping away the tears.
"Because you're disgusting and a sinner, that's why." Adam glared.
"I...I never did anything wrong to you. I always tried my best to make you
proud of me, I got good grades, I joined the football team...you were my hero.
You were my dad and I looked up to you and loved you so why couldn't you just
accept me for who I was...for who I am." Harry managed to keep his voice steady
for most of the time ignoring his hateful looks.
"I didn't raised you to be a faggot, I don't want a faggot for a son and I just
hope that other faggot, the spawn and you burn in hell." He spat as Harry let
out a broken sob and one of the policeman pulled Adam backwards rather harshly.
"You're not longer my father, my father is Robin. You're dead to me Adam."
Harry said then turned around walking away from him and into the house never
looking back going straight to his room and locking the door ignoring everyone.
He walked up to his bed and got under the covers where he cried and cried
letting everything out remembering what had been done to him, his sister Gemma
and what he had done to Louis. He ignored anyone who knocked on his door
burying his face on his pillows to muffle his sobs when Louis stood outside his
door for almost an hour begging him to open the door and let him in and even if
it hurt to ignore him he just wanted to be alone. An hour later deciding that
she had had enough Anne grabbed the set of keys from one of the kitchen drawers
and headed to Harry's room ignoring Gemma and Robin's pleas to leave him alone
and unlocked the door walking in and locking it after herself.
"Harry...sweety." Anne mumbled trying to swallow the lump in her throat seeing
her son's form curled up into a small ball under the covers that only worked to
bring more tears to her eyes.
She walked up to him standing next to the bed then knelt down reaching to run
her fingers through his tangled up hair seeing fresh tears running down to the
side of his nose and right temple noticing how wet the pillow was where his
head was resting.
"He's gone, he won't hurt you anymore." Anne mumbled kissing his temple pulling
back in surprise when he began to sob loudly.
"What does it matter if the damage's already done." He sobbed pulling away from
her.
"Harry..."
"I- I was so weak a- and I let him hurt Gemma and me." He sat up rubbing his
hands on his face. "And I'm just like him...I'm- I'm a monster, I did awful
things to L- Louis."
"Why didn't you say anything? I would've done something. Anything." Anne cried
sitting next to him wrapping her arms around him.
"He..."
"He what? Harry no more secrets."
"He said he was gonna kill all of you and Louis if I said anything, I was
trying to protect you but I ended up hurting him." Harry bitterly said closing
his eyes resting his head on her chest.
"Louis wants to see you." Anne mumbled.
"I don't wanna see anybody I just want to be alone." Harry whispered.
"Love he hasn't moved at all waiting for you to let him in, he wants to be with
you...don't push him away. He loves you, we talked and he told me he's giving
you a chance to start over as a couple." Anne smiled a little kissing Harry's
temple while stroking his back.
"You don't think it's wrong, all of you?" Harry lifted his head up to look at
her.
"You still love each other and if you're both willing to try and make it work
then no, we don't think it's wrong. Mark had a little bit of trouble accepting
it but Lou convinced him you really want to be with them and I think he
convinced him. All three of you deserve it and my granddaughter deserves to
have a family, have both her parents together."
"Where are they?" Harry asked grabbing the ice Anne had for him.
"Logan's still with the girls and Louis is in the kitchen with everyone else.
I'm gonna go tell him to come up and see you, I love you sweety and I will
always love you no matter what." Anne said getting up kissing his forehead
before she left.
He was back under the covers when Louis opened the door and quietly walked in,
he hesitated a bit until Harry lifted the covers up and Louis got under them
next to him feeling the soaked fabric underneath his left cheek. Louis didn't
say a thing when Harry moved down to rest his head on his stomach but not
before kissing it making Louis' heart skip a beat then began running his
fingers through Harry's hair making him sigh in content even after everything.
"I'm sorry I ignored you, I just needed some time alone...I...I told him he was
dead to me." Harry finally said after a few minutes of silence.
"I'm sorry. And I understand, I just- why...why didn't you told someone? Why
did you kept it to yourself? We could've done something." Louis frantically
asked unable to stop as he felt the area where Harry's head was resting getting
damp from Harry's tears bringing more to his own eyes.
"He threatened to kill you and my family. I was fifteen and I was so afraid and
naive I believed everything he said he would do. W- When I came out to him he
blamed you because he thought you had turned me or something, I talked less and
less about you until he stopped beating me and then you came out and..." Harry
hesitated burying his face on Louis' stomach.
"And then what? Harry tell me." Louis urged him trying to pull Harry up and
when he sat up his heart shattered seeing Harry's broken expression.
"I liked you...more than a friend and when you came out I went and told him I
didn't wanted to hide anymore and that I just wanted to be myself." Harry wiped
away the tears remembering what had happened.
"He said awful things to me and that night he and his friends- they, they
tortured me. He said he was going to save me but he only hurt me and left me
believing that being gay was wrong and two days after that was the first time I
fucked up and hit you...and after that I couldn't stop and I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis hiding his face on his chest almost
making the smaller man fall backwards but managed to stay up.
"Shh, please don't cry. He won't hurt you again, I promise he won't." Louis
whispered kissing the top of his head.
"He already did..." Harry sobbed then calmed down feeling Louis' lips on his
temple and his hand rubbing circles on his back.
"I'm gonna go get Logan and-"
"No! Don't, I don't wanna see her." Harry frantically said and Louis slowly let
go feeling like he has been slapped a million times.
"You- You don't want to see her?" He asked.
"I don't want her to see me like this, I don't wanna fuck up like Adam
did...she'll hate me. I don't want her to hate me." He sobbed.
"You're not gonna fuck up and she loves you with all her heart, you're her dad
and she won't hate you, she will never hate you. You're not like Adam."
"She will once she finds out about all the things I did to you."
"Who said she's gonna find out, we're never going to tell her."
"I'm scared Louis."
Louis swallowed the lump forming in his throat trying to figure out if it was
the right time to tell him what he had been considering ever since Logan had
gotten sick with the stomach flu.
"I know this is probably not the right time to tell you this but I've been
thinking about it and we'll only do it if you want to. If you want to we could,
we could change her last name and add your name in her birth certificate."
Louis closed his eyes feeling Harry tensing up and slowly opened them seeing
Harry looking at him with emotionless eyes.
"I want to do it when you're sure and you know you really want it and not
because you feel sorry for me. I don't need nor want your pity Louis." Harry
said and just like that moved away from Louis getting under the covers with his
back to Louis.
"Harry..."
"I just want to be alone...please." Harry whimpered curling up into a small
ball feeling the tears rolling down to his temple once again.
Louis sighed then got up wanting to at least give him one more kiss but didn't
when he heard the small sob Harry let out and quietly left the room heading to
his mum's house to pick Logan up. When he got there he expected her to be a
crying and snot mess but instead he found her rolling around in the living room
floor with Buttercup chasing after her while she sang move by Little Mix at the
top of her lungs stopping when she saw him then continued what she had been
doing. He looked at Lottie who blushed then shrugged smiling when Louis hugged
her and kissed her forehead thanking her a million times for taking care of her
and as soon as he had her and the dog he went back to Anne's house to give her
something quick to eat then a bath then bedtime since their dinner had been
interrupted.
*~*
"Daddy, can't go night night. I need my curly." Logan gasped wide eyed looking
around for Harry after Louis had turned off the light and attempted to get her
to go to sleep.
"He can't today baby, it's just us two tonight." Louis tried to smile even
after Harry had refused to come out to kiss her goodnight.
"No...I want daddy, we can't go night night without daddy." Logan began to
sniffle blinking faster to get the tears out.
"We can get buttercup love. Want me to go get him so he can sleep with us?"
Louis asked getting out of bed bending down to get his shoes looking up just as
Logan got out of bed and ran to Harry's room.
"Daddy? It's night night time, we sleep together."
Louis found her outside Harry's room knocking on the door trying to open it but
couldn't since it was locked while his anger directed to Harry grew and grew
for ignoring her not knowing Harry was sitting on the other side of the door
crying and touching his bruised eye feeling the physical pain that even if he
tried he would never be able to compare to the one in his heart. He reached and
unlocked the door not daring to open it when she began to cry kicking on the
door then pulled at his hair hearing Louis taking her back to their room
shushing her down and as soon as he heard him close the door he opened his and
stared at their door before he went back to his bed crying himself to sleep
confirming that in fact he was a shit parent just like Adam but he couldn't let
her see the mess he was.
A few hours later Harry woke up panting and sweating trying to forget his
father cutting the letter F in the back of his upper thighs trying to even out
his ragged breaths and wiping away his sweat from his forehead stopping what he
was doing when he saw the door moving a bit. He stayed still afraid it was Adam
coming back to torture him again but all he saw was a tiny figure with crazy
curly hair timidly walking into the room carrying her teddy bear in one arm and
dragging her blanket with the other. She carefully set her bear on the bed
followed by her blanket and began trying to climb with difficulty. Harry
grabbed the covers tightly when she used them as leverage to climb and as soon
as she was on the bed she grabbed her stuff to lay down next to him and
snuggled up to him sighing in content when Harry wrapped his arms around her
bringing her closer to him.
"What are you doing here lovebug, where's daddy Lou?" Harry mumbled kissing her
forehead feeling horrible for ignoring her earlier.
"Missed you. You don't like to go night night with me and daddy anymore." Logan
mumbled through her thumb half asleep.
"That's not it sweety...I'm a little sick and I didn't wanted you and daddy to
get sick too." Harry lied cuddling her closer then turned on the light when she
sat up.
"You have a booboo too." She gasped then leaned forward to gently kiss Harry's
bruised up eye. "Daddy says with kisses you'll be good as new."
"Do you know how much I love you? To the moon and back baby girl." Harry's eyes
watered as he reached to pull her into his lap kissing the top of her head.
"I love you to the moon and back too, lots and lots. Do you love daddy too?"
Logan asked wide eyed.
"I do, very very much."
"Then we go night night together." Logan got up on her knees pulling on Harry's
arm with one hand and rubbing her eye with the other.
Harry stared at his daughter realizing he hadn't wanted anyone to pity him but
all he had done was pity himself and grabbing a sleepy Logan and her stuff he
made his way to Louis' room just as Louis ran out of the room looking for her
nearly panicking but relaxed when he saw her fast asleep in Harry's arms.
"I'll take her...you can go back to sleep." Louis murmured avoiding Harry's
eyes still mad at him for ignoring her.
"It's okay, I got her." Harry walked into the room and carefully set her down
in the middle of the bed putting Mr. Curls under her arm along with the blanket
then sat down on his side of the bed when sleeping with them.
"Aren't you gonna go back to your room?" Louis asked rather harshly making
Harry flinch.
"I didn't mean to ignore her...I just didn't wanted her to see my face, I
didn't wanted to scare her"
"You should go back to your room and I don't know about you but Logan and I are
leaving tomorrow morning." Louis said getting under the covers pulling Logan
closer to him.
"Y- You don't have a car, how are you gonna go back?" Harry asked feeling the
desperation seeping in at the thought that maybe he was losing them again
because of his stupidity.
"I'll ask mum or dad to drive us or take the train just...go back to your bed
Harry." Louis closed his eyes then opened them again when he felt him move
wanting to cry when Harry got up but it went away as soon as Harry got under
the covers behind him wrapping his arm around them.
"I'm coming with you, I don't wanna lose you again. We can go back together but
please don't leave me, please don't leave me." Harry begged then kissed the
back of Louis' neck.
"Harry we're not gonna leave you, I'm just hurt because you ignored her and
because you thought I only want her to have you legally as her father as a way
to make you feel better." Louis said intertwining his fingers with Harry's.
"How am I supposed to feel after everyone found out what he did to me, Gemma
promised to never say anything and she did...I thought everyone was pitying me.
I'm sorry, I know I keep fucking things up and I'm so sorry."
"I've been considering changing her last name since that day you told me Anna
had to sign at the hospital and then decided I did wanted to do it after our
first date. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to do it but if you don't
want to then that's fine." Louis explained thinking the worst but Harry only
attacked his face with kisses startling Logan in her sleep who moved away from
them then Louis yelped when Harry turned him around so he was on his back and
Harry straddling him.
"That's- yeah, I want to...I would love to. Thank you, you have no idea how
much this means to me." Harry smiled learning down to kiss Louis who
immediately kissed back then pulled back to look at Logan seeing she hadn't
even moved.
"I've been doing research and I'll download the form when we get home and do it
as soon as we can, we're gonna need a DNA test to speed things up and make it
easier." Louis smiled.
"Anything." Harry said getting off of Louis and under the covers next to Logan.
"Do you mind if I sleep here tonight? We'll still leave if you want to."
"Of course not and tomorrow at noon if you want to, but if you want to stay
here longer then that's okay with me."
"No, I want to go back and I know they'll understand." Harry kissed their
foreheads. "Good night, I love you and I love you too princess."
"Love you more." Louis smiled falling sleep rather easier now that Harry was
there.
*~*
"Are you sure you don't want to stay a few more days?" Anne asked as Harry
loaded their bags into the car.
"I have to go back to work and honestly...I need to get away from here. I need
time and you can always go visit us, I would love to have you all there." Harry
hugged her.
"That sounds great, a weekend could work for all of us especially for Jay, Mark
and the girls."
"I swear you are both attached at the hip, never one without the other." Harry
chuckled.
"You know us. Be safe and take care of Louis and Logan."
"Louis wants to add my name to her birth certificate. He asked me last night if
I wanted to change her last name." Harry smiled wanting to share it with her.
"Baby that's wonderful, I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks. I'm just grateful he wants me around after everything." Harry looked
down then back at his mum trying to smile a little.
"He's a sweet boy and he loves you, don't let him go again." Anne kissed his
cheek then walked up to Louis seeing Gemma coming.
"I'm sorry Harry...I know I promised but it was eating me alive." Gemma
apologized as soon as she was in front of him.
"Come here Gems," Harry pulled her into a hug. "You have nothing to apologize
for, I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. I was just scared."
"I was too but not anymore, he's dead to me Harry. One thing I always want you
to remember is that I love so so much and I love Louis and Logan just as much.
We protect each other, right?" Gemma smiled trying not to cry.
"Right, we protect each other. I love you." Harry pulled away to kiss her
forehead.
"Could I talk to you Harry?" Robin smiled.
"Sure dad." Harry smiled giving Gemma another hug and a kiss.
"I just wanted to tell you that no matter what you are my son, it doesn't
matter that you're not biologically my son because to me you are and that
precious little girl I already love with all my heart is my granddaughter. All
three of you are my family." Robin smiled hugging him.
"You are my dad...have always being, thank you for accepting me for who I am
and for accepting Louis and our daughter." Harry held onto the man he was proud
to call dad.
"They're waiting bud, I already got lots of kisses and hugs from Logan." Robin
let go of him.
"I'll see you soon, love you dad."
"Love you too son."
Harry got in the car with a big smile on his face seeing Logan playing with
Buttercup in the back seat remembering how that morning when they woke up she
had kissed and hugged him once again telling him he was gonna be good as new
then had clung to him all day. Seeing his family getting smaller and smaller as
he drove away he took Louis' hand on his smiling at each other.
*~*
"Are you staying over for dinner?" Louis asked as soon as Harry had parked his
car in one of the three parking spots next to Louis' car where it had always
almost been empty but now Harry's car was always parked there.
"Yeah. We should order Chinese, I've been craving it like crazy." Harry said
getting out of the car to get Louis and Logan's bags out while Louis unbuckled
Logan putting her down when she began to squirm and whine never letting go of
the dog's leash.
"Logan please give me your hand." Louis said stopping her and taking the leash
when she tried to make a run for it.
"No." Logan shook her head hiding her hands from Louis behind her back.
"And why not?" Louis asked trying to be patient.
"They're gonna think we're married daddy, Cassandra says only married people
hold hands." Logan explained while Harry tried not to laugh.
"They won't baby, they know I'm your daddy and you can't walk on your own
without holding my hand. Too many cars." Louis insisted.
"I don't want to. I'm a big girl and big girls don't hold daddy's hand." She
took a step back trying a different approach as Louis internally groaned
wondering where she had picked that up from.
"Well big girls listen to their daddies and right now you're not listening at
all." Harry explained hoping to prevent a right fit.
"No!" Logan yelled pouting and moving backwards every time Louis moved closer
to her.
"Either you hold my hand or I carry you. You choose." Louis placed his hands on
his waist.
"I said no!"
"Logan...."
Harry didn't even finished talking when Louis gave him the leash then took a
step forward grabbing her hand making her cry and try to pull her hand out of
his grip getting louder and louder the more she pulled realizing he wasn't
going to let go anytime soon. Louis gave Harry his keys and motioned for him to
go ahead and take their two bags focusing back on her when she went limp then
picked her up not wanting to pull too much on her arm. She started thrashing in
his arms as soon as she was picked up ignoring everyone who was watching them
and as soon as he was in the elevator next to Harry he set her down crouching
down in front of her.
"What's gotten into you? When I say you have to hold my hand it's for your own
good." Louis scolded her as she kept crying and rubbing her eyes and Harry
fought the urge to pick her up and comfort her, maybe buy her a kitten or two
to make her happy again but he knew better than to do the opposite of what
Louis wanted to do.
"Big girls don't h- hold their daddy's h- hand." Logan cried and intentionally
coughed.
"I know you're faking that cough so stop it right now. Big girls are good girls
and listen to their daddies, right now you're not listening at all." Louis
grabbed both her hands on his.
"I'm a good girl daddy, I'm sorry." Logan wailed reaching to rub her eyes then
wrapped her arms around his neck clinging to him.
"You're gonna listen next time we ask you to do something?" Louis asked
wrapping an arm around her small waist.
"Y- Yes." She hiccuped against Louis' neck as he slowly got up with her in his
arms wiping her tears away with his thumb.
"Love you, don't cry. Are you hungry?" Louis asked her kissing her cheek
shifting her to his other hip to get his phone out and order take out.
As soon as Harry opened the door Logan ran straight to the couch throwing
herself on it with her bear and blanket then got up again to crawl into Louis'
lap once she noticed him taking a seat next to her seeing the dog sleeping
under the coffee table.
"Look what I found in the lobby." Harry said giving Louis a flyer.
"What's this?" He asked grabbing it holding Logan's back with the other to keep
her from falling backwards.
"Ballet and karate classes. Registration starts tomorrow, you think she'll like
taking ballet classes?" Harry sat next to Louis looking excited at the prospect
of their daughter doing ballet.
"We could take her and see if she likes it and I have to go download that form
so we can fill it up...Oh and call El so she can cover that bruise up." Louis
said putting the paper down on the coffee table then grabbed Logan's blanket to
wrap it around her.
"Make me look gorgeous?" Harry joked nuzzling his face on the crook of his neck
planting a small kiss where shoulder and neck meet.
"Very gorgeous, better than Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic and that's saying
something." Louis teased feeling at his happiest.
"Oh you love me and just 'cause you said it then I believe you." Harry smiled
moving to kiss Logan's temple then Louis.
"I'm hungry." Logan looked up at Louis.
"Food's almost here love. Want to watch a movie while we wait?" Louis asked
resting his head on the top of her head holding Harry's hand.
"Yes...please and thank you."
"Which one?" Louis asked.
"The cars." Logan mumbled poking Harry's shoulder giggling when Harry tried to
eat it and kissed it.
"I'll put it in."
Harry got up as soon as Louis moved to do so then after pressing play he ran to
the front door coming back with a brown bag putting it on the coffee table
going to the kitchen to get drinks after making sure Louis was okay with them
eating there then came back with three glasses of water having made sure to get
Logan a plastic one.
"I want soda, I don't want water." Logan frowned looking at what was in the
cup.
"Soda makes you hyper and we're having water too." Louis said placing a plate
of sweet and sour chicken in front of her.
"Just a bit daddy." She insisted.
"If you drink soda you're not gonna finish your food and then feel bloated."
Louis offered her the cup smiling when she took it taking a small sip.
She focused her attention back on the movie sitting on one of her tiny chairs
in front of the coffee table slowly eating her food while Louis and Harry sat
next to each other eating their food and enjoying the movie they had already
seen at least a million times.
"Do you want to get that DNA test done tomorrow before we take her to those
ballet classes." Louis asked turning his head around to look at Harry.
"Sure, but is it really necessary? I know she's mine." Harry said reaching to
move Louis' hair out of his forehead.
"Not really but it does help to speed things up. How are we gonna write the
surnames?"
"Tomlinson Styles?"
"How about Styles-Tomlinson with a hyphen in between?" Louis asked.
"Are you sure you want my last name first? It's okay with me if you want to
leave Tomlinson first and just add mine." Harry asked giving Logan a napkin.
"I'm sure, let's do yours first with the hyphen. I want it that way." Louis
leaned in to give him a quick kiss.
"Okay then."
"Are you gonna go back to your place."
"I have to, I have work tomorrow...but I can always stay if you want me too."
"I would love to." Louis smiled pressing his body against Harry's side going
back to watching the movie and eating.
Chapter End Notes

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     Thoughts?
***** I'll keep my eyes wide open* *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The first thing Harry heard as soon as he stepped back into Louis' flat with
his luggage was Logan's giggles and the running water coming from her bathroom
knowing Louis was giving her a bath to get her ready to go to sleep in her own
bed even though Harry had told him he didn't mind her sleeping with them. Louis
had immediately shot that option down not wanting it to become a habit of hers
or she'll never want to sleep on her own ever again and they would have no
alone time at all. He walked into the living room and subconsciously started
picking up the DVD cases and toys littering the floor then moved onto the
couches folding the blanket he and Louis had used leaving Logan's where it was
or she would make a mess again trying to find it wanting them to give it to her
when she couldn't find it even though they didn't had it either. He grabbed the
dirty popcorn bowls and the cups heading to the kitchen where he rinsed them
off before putting them in the dishwasher then bent down to pour water in the
dog's bowl then headed back to the living room.
"You can put your stuff in my room and if you want to you can take a shower
while I get her ready for bed." Louis quickly said running after a giggling
Logan tightening her grip on the pink towel around her.
Harry smiled shaking his head in a fond manner grabbing his luggage walking to
Louis' room where he abruptly realized he had never been in before as he slowly
opened the door. The room was spacious like his own and the walls were a creamy
color while Louis' walls were white. Their rooms were almost similar with the
bathroom door next to the door where he was standing, his bed was pushed up
against the wall opposite of the wall where he had a dresser and then a big
window opposite of the bathroom doors.
"There are clean towels in the bathroom cabinet and just use whatever you need.
Do you still have clean pajamas?" Louis walked in holding Logan's purple pajama
shorts.
"Yeah, mum did my laundry even though I told her she didn't had to." Harry
smiled taking his shirt off walking closer to Louis.
"Daddy, I'm sleeping in my undies?" Logan yelled from her room just as Harry
had wrapped his arms around Louis' waist.
"No you're not." Louis yelled back pecking Harry's lips before he walked out
leaving Harry alone to shower wearing the biggest smile.
After he was done showering he entertained Logan drawing together while Louis
showered thankful that he had Harry there to keep an eye on her taking his time
and not showering as fast as he could like he was used to. He got out of the
shower noticing it was time for Logan to go to bed and after he was dressed in
a pair of grey sweatpants and a loose t-shirt he walked to the living room
finding Harry walking around with Logan in his arms trying to get her to fall
asleep humming a foreign tune.
"She's asleep. Is she sleeping with us?" Harry whispered.
"No, she's sleeping in her bed or she won't ever want to sleep alone if we keep
letting her sleep with us." Louis murmured taking her blanket and teddy bear
motioning for Harry to follow him.
They walked into her room where Harry carefully tucked her in and Louis placed
both items next to her kissing her forehead with Harry doing the same then
turned off the light and walked out leaving the door half closed and her Woody
night light on. He grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him towards his room closing
the door letting go to pull the covers back not bothering to turn the light on
since the lights outside his window were enough for him to be able to see a
little. Harry then followed him to the bathroom where they brushed their teeth
each using their own sink giving Louis the feeling that that's the way it was
supposed to be, both of them doing that every night for the rest of their lives
and never getting tired of it.
"We have an appointment for the DNA test tomorrow at ten then those ballet
classes at eleven." Louis spoke getting under the covers followed by Harry who
immediately wrapped his arms around his waist pulling him back against his warm
naked chest.
"When did you set it up love?" Harry nuzzled his face on the back of Louis'
neck.
"While we were watching Mulan, I ordered the eight hour express one and we get
them at six tomorrow."
"We could have waited five days Lou, we have all the time in the world to do
everything we want." Harry smiled kissing the back of his neck.
"I know but I wanted to change it before she starts school meaning I need those
results by to- tomorrow." Louis' eyes widened feeling Harry's hand slowly
moving from his waist down to his inner thigh.
"How long do we have until she wakes up again?" Harry asked lightly nipping on
Louis' ear lobe.
"I- I, Harry!" Louis gasped when Harry began palming him through his
sweatpants.
"Want me to stop?" Harry stopped his movements afraid of upsetting Louis.
"No no, just- just keep going." Louis quickly said closing his eyes feeling
Harry's hand finding its way inside his pants and his lips kissing the back of
his neck.
"I want to try something." Harry mumbled as soon as Louis' cock was fully erect
as well as his.
"What?"
Harry leaned in and whispered on Louis' ear making his blue eyes go wide and
his face burn with embarrassment and anticipation at what Harry wanted to do.
He muttered a tiny and shy okay feeling Harry lifting his shirt up kissing him
before he got up on his knees and slowly lowered Louis' sweatpants. Louis let
out a soft gasp when the cool air hit his erection as Harry moved down to get
under the covers kissing all the way down from his chest to his thighs not
touching him at all where he wanted to be touched. Harry nervously licked his
lips hoping to make it a great experience for Louis since he had never done it
before and he knew Louis had never gotten one before.
He looked up seeing Louis chewing on his bottom lip waiting for him to do
something then slowly leaned down kissing the tip smearing precome all over his
lips at the same time Louis let out a tiny moan grabbing fist-fulls of the bed
sheets. Harry took that as a good sign licking around the head before he moved
down and licked a long stripe from the base of his cock all the way up to the
tip reaching down to stroke himself after pulling down his own pants. He rubbed
small circles on Louis' inner thigh taking him into his mouth going slow to
keep himself from choking, he licked around it trying to keep his teeth out of
the way wrapping his lips around them and hollowing his cheeks.
"H- Harry." Louis moaned lifting his hips up quickly putting them back down
when Harry began coughing.
"Hmm..." Harry managed to mutter bobbing his head up and down while pumping
himself faster cradling Louis' balls with the other and feeling his hand
massaging his scalp then pulling on his hair.
"I'm not- I'm, I'm not gonna la- oh god." Louis closed his eyes breathing hard
coming right in Harry's mouth just as Harry came inside his pants and into his
hand.
They were still coming down from their highs with Harry resting his head on
Louis' lower stomach still under the covers when the door was slammed open and
a cranky yet sleepy Logan walked in holding her blanket and Mr. Curls making
them shot up from their spots to try and cover themselves up.
"Logan what are you doing here? You were supposed to be sleeping." Louis said
pulling his sweatpants up.
"I want to sleep with you. What's daddy doing there? Are you cold daddy?" Logan
asked seeing Harry still under the covers them furrowed her eyebrows in
confusion trying to climb on the bed.
"He's uh...he's..." Louis stuttered.
"Hi lovebug. What are you doing here princess?" Harry asked coming back out
from underneath the blankets blushing a deep red.
"I wanted to go nigh night together but I woke up and I wasn't here with you
and daddy. What are you doing, are you cold?" Logan asked smiling when Louis
picked her up.
"I was...I was uh, I was looking for daddy's sock. He lost his sock and I was
trying to find it." Harry nervously said feeling like she could tell he was
lying.
"I help too."
"No that's okay baby, I already looked and its not in there. I'm gonna go to
the bathroom and look for it there, I'll be right back." Harry quickly said
getting up and wincing at the stickiness in his crotch.
"Kiss me night night daddy." Logan puckered up her lips as Harry's eyes widened
rather comically waiting for Louis to help him.
"He'll kiss you night night when he gets back because he has to brush his teeth
too and while he does that you and I are gonna count all the way to twenty
today." Louis kissed her cheek laying down with her next to him listening as
she began to count proud of herself for knowing them.
Harry quickly ran to the bathroom where he cleaned himself up and changed into
a pair of sweatpants then frantically brushed his teeth before walking back
seeing Logan and Louis passed out in the middle of the king size bed hugging
each other. He smiled and got under the covers next to Logan wrapping his arm
around them kissing Logan's temple then Louis' forehead waking him up.
"I love you Haz." Louis mumbled.
"I love you too angel." Harry smiled.
~*~
The next morning Louis woke up at eight and unable to go back to sleep got up
to the bathroom then to the kitchen to see if he had anything good to make
breakfast with not having the heart to wake Harry and Logan up that early. He
was still thinking when someone knocked on the door and without thinking he
opened it getting tackled into a hug by a bouncy Niall, he smiled happy to see
them until he remembered who was in his room cuddling with his daughter. He
hugged Zayn and Eleanor noticing them carrying a few bags then let them in
taking deep breaths trying to find a way to tell them he and Harry were
together and that he was sleeping in his room at the moment.
"I missed you guys." Louis smiled following them to the kitchen.
"We missed you too Lou, where's my baby girl?" Eleanor asked.
"She's still sleeping."
"We brought breakfast." Zayn said taking food out of the bags.
"Thanks. Listen guys, I need to tell you something. It's very important." Louis
nervously said taking a seat.
"What is it Tommo? Wait! You met someone in Hawaii and you're dating." Niall
smiled like a fool and Louis tensed up.
"Well I..." Louis started then stopped when he saw them.
"Hey babe who was it at the door?" Harry groggily asked walking into the
kitchen holding a sleepy Logan on his hip trying to fix her frizzy curls not
bothering to look up.
"What is he doing here only wearing sweatpants and why is he calling you babe?"
Zayn demanded turning around to look at Louis expecting an answer.
"Oh my God Harry what happened to you?" Eleanor gasped making Zayn and Niall
look at him wondering the same.
"Finally punched him back Lou?" Zayn smirked as Harry looked down tightening
his grip on Logan.
"Zayn! What happened, why is he all beat up?" Niall asked looking at Harry then
at Louis.
"It's- it's personal, I can't-"
"My biological dad is a homophobic and he did this to me, that's all." Harry
interrupted Louis taking a seat next to him with Logan still half asleep in his
arms.
"But why exactly?" Zayn asked.
"Guys! He doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to. We wanted to talk to
you...Harry and I are together now. We decided to start over and so far it's
going great." Louis smiled holding Harry's hand under the table.
"Oh Lou, no wonder why you look so happy...and you're glowing. You know I
support you no matter what and if it makes you happy then we're happy. Right
boys?" Eleanor smiled sweetly at both boys.
"Yeah, we respect your decision and support you no matter what." Niall beamed.
"Could I talk to you Harry? In private." Zayn said getting watching Harry
giving Logan to Louis.
Harry followed Zayn out of the kitchen and into the living room out of ear shot
from them and stopped just as Zayn did and turned around to look at Harry not
happy at all.
"Look I have to admit I don't like you that much anymore and if I haven't beat
the shit out of you yet it's only because of Louis and Logan but if you ever
hurt him again and hurt that little girl I swear I'll kill you." Zayn
threatened then spoke in a much softer tone. "He's giving you another chance so
please don't fuck it up and please don't ever hurt him again...he's not like my
brother because to me he is my brother and I don't want to see him sad ever
again."
"I would never hurt him again, I love them. They're my everything and I just
want the best for them." Harry said never losing eye contact with Zayn.
"You better. C'mon, we should go back." Zayn said.
They found Logan in Eleanor's lap telling them all about her week with her
Ninna and Nanna making Louis blush a deep red and Harry choke on his own saliva
when she told them she wanted a baby brother like her new friend had one while
Zayn raised his eyebrows and Eleanor and Niall only smiled wider encouraging
her to continue. After Harry had put on a clean shirt they ate breakfast where
Louis announced he was going to include Harry's name on the birth certificate.
"Why do you guys need a DNA test if you know she's his?" Zayn asked completely
confused.
"It just speeds things up if we show them she's biologically his instead of
them only having my word." Louis explained.
"Sounds logical." Niall nodded then went back to drawing with Logan.
"We're also going to take her and see if she wants to take ballet classes."
Harry winced a bit letting Eleanor apply make up on his bruises.
"That's great, she's gonna look so cute in her pink tutu. What time do you have
to be there for the DNA test?" Eleanor asked finishing up what she was doing.
"In an hour." Louis answered looking at the clock in the stove.
"Let me know if she likes ballet...I'm so excited. I have to get going but-
when do you get the results back?" Eleanor asked getting up kissing the side of
Logan's head.
"Today at six, I ordered the express one." Louis said also getting up from his
spot.
"Liam and I'll be here at six thirty just so we can hear what we already know."
She smiled.
"We'll be waiting here." Louis said handing Logan a red crayon.
"We'll be here too." Zayn said taking Logan into his lap to give her a long hug
making up for the days he didn't see her.
~*~
Ten minutes before ten they found themselves waiting to be called in for their
turn while Louis held Logan as she looked around with wide eyes and when they
were called in she clung to him like never before not liking where they were
heading. After they had gotten a sample from Harry she began crying not wanting
the lab specialist near her in fear of getting injected or given nasty medicine
ending up with Louis taking the sample himself assuring her it was going to be
completely painless calming her down a bit. They were told they could pick them
up at six and after thanking them they headed to Camden School of the Arts to
check the classes out while Harry hoped she would like ballet but knowing their
daughter he didn't know what to expect anymore.
"But you're gonna look so cute in your pink tutu and don't you like the pink
thights?" Harry crouched down in front of her after she flat out refused to
ballet classes.
"No, it's ugly and it makes my legs itchy. Daddy I want to be like Mulan and a
ninja like uncle Zayn. Uncle Zayn says he's a ninja and I want to be one too."
Logan pouted ready to bring out the tears if necessary.
"Are you sure you want to take karate lessons?" Louis asked.
"Yes." Logan pouted even more just like Louis used to pout at Harry to get what
he wanted.
"Okay lovebug, karate it is then." Harry smiled giving in thinking of how she
pouted exactly like Louis and that had always been his weakness, a cute button
nose, pout and beautiful blue eyes.
"Yay!" Logan cheered.
"You always give in too easily, she can't always get what she wants." Louis
said watching Harry fill out the paperwork.
"But look at her and her cute pout, I can't say no to that. How does it not
affect you?"
"I'm immune to her." Louis giggled.
"Looks like we're gonna have to go shopping and classes start in three weeks,
sign it please." Harry passed a stack of sheets to Louis then handed them back
to Mrs. Johnson, Logan's new teacher who she had immediately taken a liking to.
"Thank you Mr. Styles, Mr. Tomlinson. It was nice meeting you Miss. Logan, I'll
see you here in three weeks." Mrs. Johnson smiled shaking hands with her.
"See you in three weeks." Logan gave her a toothy grin waving at her as she
walked away.
"Are we going shopping now or..?" Louis asked grabbing Logan's hand.
"I can't today love, I have to go to the studio and I was gonna ask you if you
could drop me off and you take my car." Harry said.
"Okay, want me to pick you up at five or five thirty."
"Five thirty works."
"Is...is Drew going to be there?" Louis asked chewing on his bottom lip.
"Yes but don't worry about him Lou." Harry picked Logan up so he could wrap his
arm around Louis' waist.
"But what if he tries to get you back, what if he steals you from me." Louis'
voice trembled as they made their way back to the car.
Harry stopped to kiss his forehead then his lips rubbing circles on his left
cheek with his thumb, " You know I love you and I'm here to stay. I only love
you and want you, no one else but you."
"I love you too." Louis smiled again making Harry smile.
Louis dropped Harry off giving him a long kiss then drove back to his flat to
try and clean it up a bit while Logan watched Mulan after picking up her toys.
While he waited for the time to get there to pick him up he taught Logan how to
spell her name then played tea party with her leaving her watching The Amazing
World of Gumball while he prepared dinner for every body. Once he was done
making the Fettuccine Alfredo he dressed Logan up into a pair of jeans, Tom's
and a pink hoodie putting her hair up into a ponytail and headed to pick Harry
up in his car since Logan's car seat was already there. They were greeted by
Grace who immediately started cooing at Logan and after she gave her a lollipop
telling him Harry was downstairs with Drew making Louis tense up walking faster
to get there sooner. He felt his blood boiling when he saw them hugging
ignoring Logan wiping her mouth with her sleeves as she sucked on the candy,
all he wanted was Drew away from his Harry.
"Am I interrupting something?" Louis said through gritted watching them
separate from each other.
"No you're not. I- I wanted to apologize to you and Harry, I said really ugly
things to you and I'm really sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me but I just
wanted to apologize and I was just saying goodbye to Harry...I'm moving to
France for a new job." Drew shyly said feeling ashamed for his past actions.
"I don't believe that sudden change of heart." Louis said ignoring Harry's eyes
on him.
"I don't expect you to believe me either and I get it. I realized Harry wasn't
the one for me because he loves you and your daughter, I'm such a horrible
person for calling her all those things. I'm really sorry, I- I have to go."
Drew quickly left the room.
"What was that all about?" Louis asked as Harry picked his stuff up.
"He resigned and apologized, asked for a last hug and I gave him one. Ready to
go love." Harry said pecking him on the lips then kissed Logan's forehead.
"I got a lollipop daddy." Logan announced showing him the candy.
"You did baby! Who gave it to you?" Harry smiled putting his bag over his
shoulders.
"The nice lady." She answered smiling through the lollipop.
"Did you say thank you to Grace?"
"Mhm."
"It was just an innocent hug Lou." Harry said noticing how quiet he was.
"Sure didn't look like it." Louis muttered trying not to roll his eyes.
"He's gone now and I only love you, I proved it to you last night." Harry
teased making Louis blush.
"We got interrupted if you remember...but it was great." Louis said.
"I'm glad you liked it, it was my first time doing it and we should stop
talking about this in front of her and get going." Harry blushed guiding Louis
back upstairs.
"Yeah we should. I made Fettuccine Alfredo for dinner, if you're staying which
means I want you to stay." Louis said.
"Of course I'm staying. I'll see you monday Grace." Harry said waving at Grace
as Louis and Logan did the same.
"Are you driving or do you want me to drive?" Louis asked as soon as they were
in the car buckling Logan up taking the sticky white stick from her to throw it
away.
"You. I'm too lazy to do it." Harry pouted getting in the passengers seat.
"Lazy ass." Louis fondly muttered.
"We should go pick those results up so we can fill out the form." Harry smiled.
When they got there it was already six then drove back home while Louis tried
not to stop the car and open them wanting to wait until everyone was there and
had eaten dinner. The first ones to arrive where Eleanor and Liam and after
hugging them Liam went straight to play with Logan and Buttercup completely
oblivious to the loved up looks Eleanor was giving him while Harry was already
planning in his head how to make Liam see he had a perfect beautiful young
woman in front of him. Zayn and Niall walked through the front doors and as
soon as Louis saw Niall he knew something was up noticing him literally jumping
up and down and before they could ask Niall dropped the bomb.
"We're getting married." He said smiling so big Zayn only had eyes for him and
no one else.
"Ahh, oh my gosh congratulations! Let me see the ring." Eleanor tackled him
into a hug admiring the ring on Niall's finger.
"Congratulations to both of you, I'm so happy for you." Louis pulled Zayn into
a hug.
"I want you to be my best man. Please Lou, I wouldn't want anybody else." Zayn
said hugging him tighter.
"Of course, I would love to. Who's gonna be Niall's?" Louis pulled back.
"Greg. God I can't wait to marry him, I love him so much...ever since I was
seventeen." Zayn said admiring Niall talking with Eleanor, Harry, and Liam.
"You both deserve to be happy." Louis smiled.
"So do you Lou." Zayn quietly said tearing up a bit when Louis finally nodded.
"Uncle Zayn I'm gonna be a ninja like you!" Logan shouted running straight to
his arms.
"You are? That's my girl." Zayn picked her up high fiving her.
"She decided she wants to take karate. Sorry El." Louis said watching her as
she moved to stand next to Liam.
"That's okay Lou, she's gonna look so cute." She smiled.
"Congratulations." Both Harry and Liam said at the same time getting thank
you's from them and big smiles.
"When are you guys getting married?" Eleanor asked moving closer to Liam.
"We don't know yet but we already picked our flower girl." Niall poked Logan's
side making her squeak.
"You're marrying uncle Niall because you love him and hug him tight?" Logan
asked playing with Zayn's necklace.
"Mhm, that's right cupcake." Zayn pecked her forehead.
"Are my daddies getting married too? They love and hug each other tight too."
Logan said turning around to look at Harry chocking on the water he had been
drinking and Louis patting his back blushing as red as a tomato.
"We don't know monster." Niall said watching her run after the dog when Zayn
put her down.
"You guys act like a teenage couple who haven't even kissed yet, it's okay and
Liam already knows." Eleanor winked at them making Louis blush harder knowing
they had already done more than that reminding him he needed to buy a pregnancy
test just to be sure.
"So when do we get to see the DNA results?" Zayn asked.
"After dinner, I made Fettuccini Alfredo for all of us so please take a seat in
the dining room cause we don't have space here." Louis said taking the pot full
of food setting it in the middle of the table.
After they were done eating and Harry had helped Louis clean everything up
having received many compliments for the food they all took a seat in the
living room while Logan played with a baby doll pushing it around in a pink toy
stroller until she took it out and decided to push Buttercup around putting him
inside the stroller with Liam's help.
"Read them." Niall urged.
"No you do it." Louis handed him the envelope.
"Okay."Niall smiled tearing it open.
They watched him while he read them smiling a little but it quickly turned in
confusion as he read in silence over and over again. He gave them to Zayn who
quickly read them in silence furrowing his eyebrows then handed them to Liam
who was closer to him, he looked between Louis and Harry then back at the
results with furrowed eyebrows.
"Well what does it say?" Harry asked him.
"Umm, you- you should read it." Liam tried to give him the piece of paper.
"Just read them Liam, we already know she's mine." Harry urged him.
"Okay...um, the probability of Harry Styles being the biological father of
Logan Tomlinson is...0%. Therefore it is practically proven that Mr. Harry
Styles is not the biological father of Logan Tomlinson." Liam finished taking a
deep breath.
"Wh- what?" Louis asked then turned to look at a stunned Harry. "Harry...I
swear she's yours. It must be an error." Louis began to panic when Harry looked
at him with a blank expression not doing anything at all then looked at the
rest of them who waited for a reaction.
He didn't know whether to leave or take Logan from Harry when she ran up to him
colliding with his knees holding Valerie and Kelly offering him the doll he
always played with.
"We play again daddy." Logan smiled holding up the doll.
"Logan...come here." Louis carefully said reaching for her but stopped when
Harry picked her up and hugged her tight against his chest.
"They're wrong, you are my daughter. You're my baby...you're mine." Harry
frantically said rocking her from side to side kissing the side of her head
feeling her small arms around his neck as he looked like a lioness trying to
protect her cub.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mwudxuUldr1rzamo7o1_500_zpsc516412d.gif]
      
      
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mwudxuUldr1rzamo7o1_500_zpsc516412d.gif
     Thoughts? :)
***** You are the best thing that's ever been mine* *****
Chapter Notes
     A/N: I don't know what to say other than I'm really sorry for taking
     forever and making you all wait, I had a very busy week. The song on
     the link below I listened to it on repeat while typing this, set the
     mood for the chapter to me. You guys should listen to it. :)
      
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2jVkDaRgjw
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"It has to be a mistake, I just know these are the wrong results." Zayn said
glancing over at the corner of the living room where Harry had Logan on his lap
building a tower with her plastic blocks never letting go of her.
"He won't talk to me...He thinks I lied to him." Louis mumbled trying not to
cry.
"I know he doesn't think that Louis, he's just in shock and he knows she's
his...He just wants to be with her right now." Liam tried to make him feel
better watching Harry using his body to shield Logan from them.
"But he won't even let me be near him...or her." Louis insisted.
"He needs time Lou, let him be alone with her." Eleanor wrapped her arms around
him kissing his temple.
"He'll come around. You need to go back to that clinic and demand to know what
happened, it's impossible for her not to be his." Niall sighed only getting a
nod from Louis.
After Liam had read the results and Harry had picked Logan up he had backed
away into the corner where Logan kept her toys glaring at anybody who tried to
touch her even at Louis thinking he was trying to take her away from him. He
began playing with her plastic blocks ignoring Louis' attempts at talking to
him to assure him that she was his and that he had been his first and had never
been with anybody else but him. Harry stayed silent only talking to his
daughter until everyone left then wordlessly got up with her in his arms and
headed to the bathroom to give her a bath and after he was done he sat down on
the couch next to Louis still holding onto her.
"W- we have to go back and tell them they made a mistake." Harry finally looked
up at Louis with red rimmed eyes.
"You do believe me she's yours? Harry I swear I never slept with anybody else."
Louis pleaded smiling when Logan looked up at him with sleepy eyes.
"I believe you and I never doubted she's mine, I was just surprised it came
back negative. Monday morning we're gonna go back and demand to know what
happened." Harry said then kissed Louis' temple.
"Okay, we should go to bed." Louis got up gathering Logan's blanket and teddy
bear.
The three of them ended up sleeping together again when Logan literally cried
her eyes out when Harry attempted to put her down in her own bed then continued
crying until she was in Louis' bed with the lights off and in between the two
of them under the covers with her blanket and Mr. Curls by her side falling
asleep once she was sure she was going to stay there for good. She had kicked
all night and gotten up two times to drink water then to the bathroom where she
made Louis wait outside for her stating that she was a big girl and didn't
needed supervision all the while Harry slept like a baby only reaching for her
when she stepped on his legs to get back to her spot. The next day after eating
lunch Harry headed back to his flat even though he would rather stay with them
but he had his own place and it was time for him to go back and organize it a
little bit and after kissing both of them telling them he would see them the
next day to go shopping he went back to sleeping on his own for the first time
in a week.
~*~
"But I want to sleep with you daddy." Logan wailed tightening her grip on
Louis' leg to keep him from walking out of her room.
"Logan that's why you have your own bed so you can sleep here on your own."
Louis sighed untangling her arms from around his leg.
"I don't like my bed, I want to sleep with you." Logan insisted.
"You say you're a big girl and big girls sleep on their own bed and not with
their daddy." Louis picked her up relaxing when she stopped crying but as soon
as he set her down on the bed she began crying louder.
"I don't want to." Logan cried hanging from his neck.
"Well I don't care what you want, you're sleeping here and that's it." Louis
finally snapped losing his patience.
He untangled her arms from around his neck then wrestled her into the bed and
under the covers while she kicked and screamed almost hitting his face missing
it by a few inches then stood there watching her cry and rubbing her eyes. He
bent down and gave her a goodnight kiss then walked out turning the light off
ignoring her calls for him to come back and her fake coughing fits going to his
room closing the door after himself then got under the covers curling himself
up into a ball missing Harry. He fell asleep feeling bad for yelling at Logan
and when he couldn't hear her anymore but it quickly changed when a few hours
later he woke up again feeling her small warm body pressed up against his side
and as quietly and slow as he could he picked her up and brought her back to
her room repeating the process three more times until she was too tired to get
up again and finally stayed in her bed. The next morning Louis woke up feeling
extremely exhausted blaming it on his night with Logan getting out of bed
finding her asleep with Buttercup cuddled up next to her then made his way to
the front door shaking his head in disbelief.
"Good morning love. Did I woke you up?" Harry spoke as soon as Louis opened the
door wrapping his arms around him giving him a chaste kiss.
"Not really, I woke up a few minutes ago." Louis yawned walking backwards still
hugging him resting his head on his chest.
"You look exhausted...c'mon, let's go back to bed." Harry kissed the top of his
head picking him up by the back of his thighs making him let out a tiny
adorable squeak that had him blushing. "You're so cute." Harry chuckled walking
to his room.
"M' not cute." Louis mumbled seeing Logan still asleep when they walked by her
bedroom.
"You let the dog sleep with her?" Harry asked stopping by her door frowning
when Louis groaned.
"No I did not. Last night she kept wanting to sleep with me and threw a tantrum
when I didn't let her then I had to get up four times to take her back to her
room when she kept coming back. I don't know when she got up to go get him, I
put him in his cage." Louis explained as Harry started walking again getting
under the covers as soon as Harry had gently set him down.
"Why can't we just let her sleep with us?" Harry asked taking his shoes and
jacket off laying down next to Louis.
"Harry...She has her own bed and room and I don't want the habit to keep
growing, I don't want her to be one of those kids that still sleep with their
parents."
"Well it's kind of our fault she doesn't want to sleep alone anymore."
"Yeah...next time we go back to our mums she's sleeping by herself in your
room." Louis mumbled resting his head on Harry's warm chest.
"And where am I gonna sleep?" Harry smiled.
"Outside." Louis answered trying not to laugh when Harry gasped." You're
sleeping with me silly."
"I like that."
"We should try to get some sleep before she wakes up again."
~*~
Harry slowly opened his eyes flinching at the bright light when he felt small
fingers poking his back and slowly let go of Louis turning around seeing Logan
standing by the bed looking at both of them pouting her lips a bit. He smiled
and picked her up kissing her cheek before putting her in between Louis and
himself then went back to sleep after she did content with being with them
again waking up an hour later to see she was gone and Louis was still asleep.
He sat up and frantically searched the blankets then under the bed panicking
when he couldn't find her in both bathrooms and her bedroom until he heard
noises coming from the kitchen and ran there to find her laying down on her
tummy on the floor coloring on her book next to Buttercup who was eating the
food she had given him.
Harry's eyes widened when he saw the trail of food going all the way to the big
bag in the pantry where Louis kept the dog's food seeing it tilted over and the
food spilled all around it and just as he was about to say something he noticed
she had drawn all over the kitchen wall with her crayons. Despite of the
serious situation he smiled a little seeing she had drawn them in stick figures
holding hands and both of them with big curly hair and the dog next to them
then figured out maybe he should buy paint to paint over it before Louis was
up.
"Harry whe- oh my God, oh my God. Lo-Logan what did you do?" Louis asked
looking at the dog then the wall and finally at Logan who was smiling widely.
"Baby was hungry and you didn't wake up so I gave him food." Logan shrugged
reaching to put more food in the bowl then pushed the dog forward trying to
make him eat more.
"I think that's enough food for him lovebug, if he keeps eating he's gonna get
sick." Harry said taking the bowl away from them putting it up in the counter
top.
"How many times have I told you not to draw on the walls, that's why I buy you
coloring books and paper." Louis scolded her grabbing a clean rag from one of
the drawers wetting it to try and get the crayon off huffing in annoyance when
it only made it worse.
"But I-" Logan tried to speak getting silenced by Louis.
"No buts Hunter! You know I don't like it when you draw on the walls." Louis
yelled making her cry while he scrubbed harder.
"Louis calm down, it's just a wall." Harry crouched down next to her wrapping
his left arm around her.
"Don't tell me what to do...this is all your fault." Louis snapped.
"My fault? How is it my fault, was I controlling her hands while she was
drawing?" Harry quickly got up leaving Logan staring up at them with wide eyes.
"You let her do whatever she wants, you buy her everything she wants even if
she doesn't need it and you're spoiling her." Louis argued.
"I'm not spoiling her Louis and you know I don't let her do whatever she
wants."
"Yes you do."
"You know what...just...just stay here, Logan and I are gonna go out and buy
paint. C'mon bug." Harry picked her up and walked past Louis to her room to
change her out of her pajamas drying her tears with his sleeves.
A few minutes later he heard the front door close noticing Harry had taken her
car seat and her coat was gone, he sighed rubbing his hands on his face then
began cleaning the mess Logan had made then after he was done he took his time
to do the beds. He couldn't help but feel like the worst parent in history for
yelling at his little girl when he walked back to the kitchen and studied the
drawing of the three of them holding hands, he smiled because she had drawn the
family he was now able to give her. Almost an hour later Harry came back
holding a small container of paint and a few grocery bags managing to hold
Logan at the same time who was also holding what looked like a toy.
"And you got her another toy." Louis said watching as he carefully put her down
then her running to the living room where Buttercup was resting.
"It's a toy for the dog. What, can't even buy things for the dog now?" Harry
rolled his eyes heading to the kitchen where he put the bags on top of the
table and the paint and a bag on the floor by the ruined wall.
"What's in the bags?" Louis followed behind him.
"Food." Harry answered opening the paint lid then began mixing it a bit before
he grabbed a brush and began painting over the drawing glad that the wall was
white.
"Okay...."
"I'll put it up in a second."
"It's for here? You don't have to buy us groceries, that's my responsibility
not yours." Louis said feeling slightly annoyed.
"It's no big deal Louis, I wanted to." Harry sighed finishing what he was
doing.
"But you don't have to, you don't have to spend money on us...on her. She's my
daughter, my responsibility." Louis insisted watching as Harry stopped what he
was doing biting on his bottom lip, his curls fanning the side of his face.
"She's my daughter too Louis...And also my responsibility, she's our
responsibility. I- I know I wasn't there for both of you then but I'm here now,
you- you don't have to do it alone anymore. I'm here now." Harry slowly got up
to wash the paint off of the brush. "I'm gonna go, I'll see you both tomorrow.
I love you." Harry said pressing a quick kiss to Louis' temple then left after
hugging and kissing Logan who nodded when he told her to be good.
Louis stood by the table doing nothing wondering why the hell had he said that
then slowly started putting the groceries away smiling a little when he came
across the mango pineapple juice he liked and the same Apple juice boxes he had
been drinking on their way back from Hawaii assuming they were for Logan. When
he was done putting them away he started making pancakes for breakfast wanting
to call Harry but was too ashamed to even speak to him. He walked back to the
living room where Logan was still playing with the dog pulling on the toy while
he pulled back with his teeth.
"Logan..." Louis mumbled catching her attention. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I
didn't mean to baby." Louis crouched down next to her lifting her up into his
lap sitting down on the floor.
"You love me still?" Logan asked breaking Louis' heart a little.
"Of course I do, I love you so much baby. I'm just a bit tired and you know we
don't draw on the walls sweetheart." Louis kissed her forehead and left cheek
hugging her close to his chest.
"Daddy curly said you love me and you're tired. I'm sorry daddy." She mumbled.
"It's okay but next time just use paper love so that way daddy and I can put
them up in the fridge, let's go eat breakfast. Are you hungry yet?" Louis got
up with her in his arms making his way to the kitchen.
"Yes...but daddy left."
"We'll call him later but now let's eat before they get cold." Louis smiled
sitting next to her.
*~*
Louis tried not to fall asleep as he folded the now clean clothes after he had
washed the ever growing pile of dirty laundry remembering when he used to wash,
dry then fold Logan's tiny onesies then grabbing her clothes he quietly walked
into her room where she was taking a nap next to Buttercup, Mr. Curls and
covered with her newly washed blanket. After he was done putting her clothes
back in her closet he picked up the pile of drawings and crayons from the floor
wondering why she liked to draw laying down on it if she had a perfectly nice
and comfortable desk getting interrupted by his phone ringing loudly back in
his room.
"Harry?" Louis answered after running to get it to keep it from waking Logan up
and because he missed him.
"Hey, is it okay if I come over?" Harry asked.
"Yeah! You don't have to ask, just come over." Louis smiled noticing it was
already two thirty.
"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes...I'm close by. I love you." Harry said.
"Love you too." Louis continued smiling.
A few minutes later after hanging up Louis ran to get the door seeing Harry
standing in front of him smiling shyly then catched Louis in his arms who
kissed his neck then began murmuring I'm sorry's against it getting picked up
by Harry walking to the living room. He sat down on the couch with Louis
straddling him and kissed him running his hands up and down his back feeling
Louis wrapping his arms around his neck to bring him closer to him.
"I didn't mean it." Louis said as soon as Harry moved down to his neck leaving
tiny kisses all over it.
"Don't worry about it." Harry looked back at him smiling when Louis rested his
head on his left shoulder.
"I still shouldn't have said those things, she's your daughter too and I get
that you want to provide for her. I just got used to not accepting financial
help from anybody wanting to support her myself." Louis explained.
"It's okay love, I get it...but...I'm here now and you don't have to do it
alone anymore." Harry kissed the back of his head.
"Okay." Louis lifted his head to look at him. "What have you been up to Mr.
Styles?"
"I was at the studio working." Harry said grabbing Louis' hand to play with his
fingers.
"Was Drew there?" Louis asked feeling insecure.
"Nah, it was just me. I was, I was wondering if you wanted to go out and watch
a movie with me. We can ask Liam or Eleanor to babysit Logan." Harry suggested
hoping for a yes.
"I would love to." Louis smiled.
Louis stayed on Harry's lap watching a random show until Logan walked in
holding the usual items and dragging the blanket behind her making Louis pull a
sour look because he had just washed it noticing her frowning when she noticed
him on Harry's lap then ran to them lifting her hands up to Harry who picked
her up and set her down next to Louis. Three hours before her bedtime both
Harry and Louis waited for Eleanor to get there so they could go watch the
movie after she had agreed to watch her telling them to take as long as they
wanted because she wanted to spend time with her. She arrived twenty minutes
later immediately kicking them out while holding Logan closing the door as soon
as they had stepped outside.
"Let's have some tea pretty...but with apple juice." Eleanor smiled while Logan
loudly cheered getting down to go get her tea party set.
"Apple juice tea!" Logan jumped up and down taking them out.
"...And Liam's so handsome and so strong and I really like him but I don't
think he likes me back." Eleanor sighed just as tea time was coming to an end
then looked up at Logan who was watching her with a blank expression before she
let out a giggle.
"I like uncle Leeyum too." Logan nodded drinking the last of her juice.
"Of course you do pretty." Eleanor smiled lovingly rubbing her cheek with her
thumb.
*~*
The door to Harry's flat was slammed open as Harry walked in holding Louis up
by his bum with one hand and closing the door with the other never breaking the
urgent and heated kiss that had started halfway through the movie, stopped when
the movie was over and had continued in the elevator. He gently set Louis down
on his bed slowing down noticing Louis looking exhausted from the night before,
he pressed his lips to Louis' one more time before he grabbed the corner of the
duvet pulling it over him trying to get up.
"Where are you going?" Louis asked pulling him down again on top of him.
"I'm gonna go get Logan, go to sleep and I'll be right back." Harry mumbled.
"You can go get her later...right now make love to me." Louis said smiling when
Harry took his shirt off as fast as he could going for his pants stopping when
Louis slapped his hands away to take them off himself.
"Can I undress you?" Harry asked wanting to do it already but instead waited
for his approval.
He began unbuttoning his shirt as soon as he nodded lifting him up to take it
off then reached down to unbutton his jeans taking them off along with his
boxers throwing them somewhere in the room along with his own leaving them
completely naked and already aroused. Louis watched as Harry moved around in
the almost dark bedroom coming back with lube and a condom setting them down to
the side for later then accommodated himself in between Louis' legs leaning
down to kiss him holding himself up by his arms. He could feel Harry's lips
kissing his jaw line then down to his collarbones and stomach before he lifted
one of his hands and lovingly kissed his knuckles making Louis' heart beat a
little faster.
"You're so perfect'" Harry whispered before he kissed him again.
"I love you." Louis mumbled in between kisses tangling his fingers through
Harry's hair feeling how soft his curls were.
"Love you more." Harry pulled back grabbing the lube while Louis tried not to
touch himself gasping when Harry wrapped his hand around both of their aching
members and began pumping them allowing Louis some sort of relief.
Using the other hand Harry uncapped the small bottle letting go of Louis and
himself and coated his fingers bringing them down to Louis' entrance circling
around it then pushed a finger in feeling Louis clenching around it. He
continued opening him up while nipping on his ear lobe making him hiss as Harry
then moved trailing down to his chest leaving small red marks happy that he was
the one who had the privilege of leaving them there.
"Harry..." Louis whined. "I'm ready."
"You sure?" Harry asked still moving around the three fingers he had inside of
Louis.
He grabbed the condom opening then rolling it in as fast as he could and once
he was lubed up with more than necessary he brought Louis' legs up to his
shoulders and slowly entered him stopping a few times whenever Louis would show
any signs of pain. He stayed still once he was all the way in looking into
Louis' eyes bringing his hand up to caress his cheek smiling before he kissed
him slow and sweet intertwining his fingers with his feeling like his heart
could burst at any moment and feeling like the luckiest man for still having
Louis' love despite of everything. Once Louis gave him the okay to move he
wrapped an arm around his lower back making him arch it and began moving in and
out at a slow pace hiding his face on the crook of Louis' neck feeling his arms
tightening around him and the pad of his thumbs rubbing small circles on the
skin.
Louis could feel every inch of Harry's sweaty body pressed flush against his
own, he could feel the sweat on Harry's hair as he ran his fingers through it
and every soft and careful push slowly brushing dead onto his spot making him
let out small noises throwing his head back into the mattress while Harry tried
not to be loud feeling the tight heat around him. Harry lifted his head up just
as Louis wrapped his legs around his waist and his arms around his back letting
them run all the way down to his lower back and up to his shoulder blades again
and again, he didn't bother opening his eyes when he felt Harry move away a
little feeling his lips on his own a little after and later after what felt
like forever he felt him going still then spilling into the condom. Harry
wrapped a hand around Louis' erection stroking back and forth twisting his
wrist a little and moving inside of him until he felt his warm come on his hand
and Louis digging his nails onto the skin on his back before he went limp
underneath him.
"You okay love?" Harry asked kissing his sweaty forehead letting his lips
linger a little before her moved back to look at a sleepy Louis.
"Yeah...m' just tired." Louis gave him a lazy smile wincing a little when Harry
slowly pulled out.
"Want me to go get Logan or drive you there?" Harry asked getting rid of the
condom walking to the bathroom to get a warm wet towel.
"Drive me there and stay the night with us." Louis mumbled as soon as Harry was
back and cleaning him up.
"Let me just grab a bag." Harry smiled putting his clothes back on looking at
Louis with love filled eyes pulling at the edge of the duvet bringing it over
him to cover himself up.
Once he was dressed and had his bag ready he walked up to Louis to try and wake
him up then began dressing him up himself when Louis didn't even batted an
eyelash. He was just about ready to pick him up when Louis woke up looking
around with a confused look until he noticed Harry standing next to him and got
up grabbing his hand pulling him towards the front door leaning against him
while in the elevator. When they got back Eleanor was sitting on the couch
watching tv turning her head around to look at them smiling when they made eye
contact.
"Did you guys have fun?" She asked.
"Yeah, movie was great. Did you have fun, was she good?" Louis asked walking to
sit on the couch pulling Harry with him.
"Yeah we did. We had tea then watched a movie. I gave her a bath...well she
insisted on doing it herself so I just supervised then she went to bed."
Eleanor smiled grabbing her bag.
"She doesn't wanna hold hands and now she's gonna start taking baths without my
help." Louis sighed.
"She's growing up, had to happen Lou." Eleanor gave him a tiny smile wishing
for her to stay little but knowing it was impossible.
"I'm gonna go guys."
"Do you need a ride?" Harry asked.
"No thank you, I have my car." She said.
"Let me at least walk you to your car." Harry got up taking no for an answer
then left with her after she hugged Louis and he thanked her a million times.
While Harry was gone Louis checked on Logan pulling the covers tightly around
her then kissed her on the forehead walking back to his bedroom to take a
shower leaving the bathroom door open and a few minutes later he could hear
Harry coming back inside. After he was done he put on a pair of fleece pajama
bottoms and an old t-shirt then headed to bed just as Harry walked in giving
him a quick kiss before going to the bathroom to shower. Louis was already half
asleep when Harry came back and as soon as Harry was next to him he snuggled up
close to him immediately falling asleep.
~*~
"Lou you have to wake up. It's almost ten and we have to go back to that
clinic." Harry slowly shook Louis trying to wake him up.
"Ten? Where's Logan?" Louis mumbled trying to open his eyes.
"She's in the living room playing with Buttercup, she already had breakfast."
Harry ran his hands through Louis' hair pulling it out of his forehead then
kissed his temple.
"I'm so tired Haz, I don't want to get up." Louis mumbled.
"We can wait until later if you want." Harry said furrowing his eyebrows
noticing how exhausted he looked.
"No...just give me a few minutes and I'll get up." Louis yawned.
"Alright love, breakfast's on the table and I'm gonna go get her ready." Harry
said getting up walking out of the room.
Thirty minutes later Louis was ready and on his way to the clinic to try and
figure out what the hell had gone wrong hoping for it to be a mistake and that
no one had tampered with them. They parked outside the clinic close to the main
doors and headed straight to the office where they had picked up the results
seeing the same receptionist as the last time.
"Hello, how may I help you?" She asked giving them a genuine smile but Louis
was having none of it.
"We requested your services last Friday and got the results back that same day
and you made a mistake. They're wrong and in fact it's impossible for them to
be negative." Louis pulled out the envelope giving it to her.
"That's impossible Mr.?"
"Tomlinson."
"That's impossible Mr. Tomlinson, we never make mistakes." She spoke grabbing
the envelope verifying the logo in it.
"Well you did. He is my daughter's father, it's impossible for her not to be
his. They're wrong." Louis argued watching her as she opened it taking the
results out.
"We never make mistakes Mr. Tomlinson...maybe you're the one who's wrong." She
said pissing Louis off.
"Excuse me? Are you implying that I lied to him and she's not his? Look at them
and tell me she's not his, you're the idiots who can't do their job right."
Louis yelled getting rather aggravated.
"I can assure you we never and had never made mistakes, Mr. Grimshaw is one of
our best DNA analysts. We've never had a problem with him."
"Mr.-Mr. Grimshaw? You mean Nick Grimshaw?" Harry asked holding Logan tighter.
"Yes, Nick Grimshaw. He's the one who compared samples and personally gave me
the sealed envelope to give to you." She informed them reading over the
results. "Wait a minute...are you sure these are the results that were inside
the sealed envelope when you opened it?"
"Yes they are." Louis answered.
"I'm sorry but these results are fake." She said giving it back to Louis.
"What do you mean they're fake?" Harry asked getting angrier by the minute.
"Mr. Grimshaw's signature isn't there when it's supposed to be verifying that
the interpretation of the results is correct and they're set out in tables
showing the strands that match and those that are unique comparing the child's
DNA to the alleged father's. You are sure he is the father then that means Mr.
Grimshaw tampered with the results. I'll- I'll call him over." She said
nervously picking up the phone while both Louis and Harry were fuming.
"I can't believe he would do that." Harry nearly growled then handed Logan to
Louis as soon as he saw Nick coming out of the lab, his face going from smiling
to a one of panic. "You worthless piece of shit!" Harry pushed him against the
wall.
"What the hell Harry!" Nick pushed him off of him.
"Why would you do that to me, why would you change the results when you know
she's mine. You're nothing but a piece of shit." Harry glared just as two
security guards rushed in.
"I didn't do anything and if they're negative it's because she's not yours and
he lied, he was probably sleeping around with other guys too." Nick spat
getting punched by Harry while Louis tried to keep Logan from watching.
"You son of a bitch! What you did was illegal and I could sue you, I could sue
the damn clinic." Harry yelled getting held back by one of the security guards.
"Nick just tell the truth." The receptionist pleaded just as an older man
walked in already knowing what was going on identifying himself as Dr. Jones.
"I didn't do anything." Nick insisted.
"Nick tell the truth. You're already fired anyway and if you don't come clean
and admit it your license will be revoked." He threatened.
"It's...It's true." Nick admitted looking down.
"Why?" Louis asked.
"You don't deserve him, I do!" Nick frantically said.
"Get him out of here." Dr. Jones ordered then turned to look at Harry and
Louis. "I would like to apologize, we're trying to find the correct legal
results that would be given to you as soon as we find them and if you want to
press charges that's up to you. I wouldn't blame you." He said.
"We just want the right results and I want him far away from us." Louis said
looking at the door where Nick had been standing.
They had been waiting for at least twenty minutes before Dr. Jones came back
holding a sealed envelope giving it to Harry then left them alone after he
apologized once again. Harry shakily opened the envelope taking out the legal
document seeing Nick's signature at the bottom right hand corner and a table
comparing his and Logan's DNA. His eyes began watering as he silently read the
interpretation then looked back at Louis and their daughter.
"What does it say?" Louis asked.
"What I already knew and never doubted. Probability of parentage is 99.9999%.
She's mine, I already knew it but after all I went through when Liam read those
other results it feels great to have this." Harry smiled bringing them into a
hug. "You're mine lovebug....both of you."
"Always." Louis smiled.
"Let's go and celebrate."
Louis pulled back putting Logan down grabbing her hand while Harry grabbed the
other and together walked out of the clinic with the biggest smiles anyone had
ever seen.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mzcqtbYHU01rvi6auo1_500_zpsdba81ab2.gif]
      
      
      
      
      
     ***********************
      
     If you guessed Nick had something to do with it then kudos to you. I
     would like to apologize again for not updating sooner. Thank you so
     much for all the kudos and comments. I hope you enjoyed the awfully
     late chapter. :)
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** Darling just swear you'll stay right by my side* *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The day was warm enough and perfect for the picnic at the park Harry had
managed to organize as fast as he could since Louis had begged for sandwiches,
his and Logan's favorite juice as well as cherry pie from a bakery he really
liked. He had brought a picnic blanket setting it down on the grass under the
shadow of a large tree enjoying their food and after they were done eating both
Louis and Harry sat next to each other leaning against the tree watching Logan
play with Buttercup. While they watched her Louis could feel his eyelids
getting heavier and heavier as he fought to keep his eyes open until he decided
to close them just for a little bit jumping up awake a few minutes later when
Harry shook him telling him it was time to go unable to hide the worry in his
eyes.
"Lou, are you sick?" Harry asked as they walked back to the car.
"No...why?" Louis asked holding Logan's hand tighter and Harry's with the
other.
"You look exhausted...maybe we should go to the doctor and make sure
everything's alright." Harry suggested while unlocking the car.
"I'm fine Harry, I just need to catch up on my sleep. Logan kept me up really
late and I'm used to going to bed early." Louis shrugged it off ruling it as a
lack of sleep.
"You'll tell me if something was wrong right?" Harry chewed on his bottom lip
looking like a small frightened child.
"Of course I would," Louis smiled getting up on his tippy toes to kiss him.
"And how about we go back home, watch a few movies then go to bed early."
"That would be the perfect afternoon." Harry smiled kissing him again.
That night Louis fell asleep halfway through Tangled with Logan following a few
minutes later leaving Harry to take them back to bed and after making sure the
front door was locked, all the lights were off and Buttercup was by Logan's
feet he went to bed spooning Louis and wrapping his arms around him letting one
of his hands rest on his bare stomach underneath his shirt.
The following two weeks went by rather smoothly except when they had told their
friends what Nick had done in attempts of breaking them up ending with both of
them getting yelled at by Zayn for letting him get away with what he had done
and Eleanor wanting to go out to find him and slap the bejesus out of him and
after Liam and Niall agreed with them they ended up getting a restriction order
against Nick. Both Louis and Harry had gone back to work full time leaving
Logan with Anna, Louis would get home at around two getting two extra hours of
sleep by taking naps with Logan and by the time Harry was back from work
exactly at five he would be somehow well rested and just waiting for him so
they could cook dinner together or go out to eat with their friends. Zayn had
begun warming up to Harry even though he was still wary of him and Louis was
happy that they were getting along, sadly he couldn't help Eleanor with Liam
since she refused any kind of help wanting to do it on her own and Liam was
clueless.
As far as Louis knew he was able to hide how tired he felt all the time blaming
it on their increased sex drive sometimes going at it twice a night which
usually happened three nights per week when Harry would spend the night always
going slow and passionate making sure to lock the door every time not wanting
to scar Logan for life. It continued being that way until Louis started going
to bed by the time Logan did not waking up until eight the next morning.
Eleanor had scared him when she reminded him that the same thing had happened
four years earlier and he had ended up with a baby six months later freaking
him out even more just hoping for it to not be it. He managed to keep it to
himself for a week until Friday night during dinner when he felt like he was
going to explode if he didn't say something ignoring that small fear of Harry
not taking in the news very well and taking a deep breath he decided it was
time.
"Harry?" Louis looked at Harry who was chewing the spaghetti they had prepared
then at Logan trying to wrap it around her fork not paying them any attention.
"Hmm?" Harry hummed drinking the strawberry juice after swallowing his food.
"I- I think I might be pregnant." Louis blurted out quickly getting up to help
Harry when he spit out the juice making Logan giggle then began coughing trying
to breathe.
"B- But how?" Harry asked wiping his mouth with a napkin then the table with a
new one.
"I can't exactly explain how right now." Louis looked at Logan then back at
Harry. "I'm pretty sure you know how people get pregnant."
"I know how but you took those pills and we're always careful, have been ever
since. I mean...are you sure?" Harry frantically asked watching Louis going
back to his seat in front of him.
"I don't know for sure yet, it's just...when I was pregnant with Logan the
first few weeks I was always tired and Eleanor thinks I might be." Louis
explained moving his food around on his plate.
"What are you gonna do if you are?" Harry asked trying not to panic.
"What are we gonna do." Louis corrected. "If I am it's yours too since you're
the one who's been shoving it up there."
"I know that. It's just that I think it's too soon to have another baby and
we're not ready." Harry said getting Logan's attention when she heard the word
baby quickly losing interest.
"I wasn't ready for her and there she is. Life doesn't care if you're ready
Harry and if I am pregnant again then this baby is half your responsibility, I
can't just get rid of it and I'm not going to." Louis pushed his plate away
staring at Harry.
"I would never ask you to do that, I'm just scared okay. I don't know a thing
about babies and I feel like I'm going to fu- mess up and the baby's gonna hate
me then you're gonna hate me too." Harry looked down taking a deep breath then
looked back at Louis. "If you are how far along do you think you are, can you
get symptoms this early?"
"We've been careful so I think it was that first time and those pills didn't
worked so I'm guessing about three weeks. You know what, let's just go buy a
pregnancy test after dinner." Louis continued eating like nothing was wrong
while Harry was freaking out on the inside jumping up a bit when Logan
accidentally kicked his knee from under the table.
*~*
After going to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test that Harry had made sure
was one of the best by taking forever trying to find the right one while Logan
begged for a lollipop that Louis ended up letting her have to get her to stop
pulling on his shirt they headed back home in complete silence. Harry was now
standing in front of the locked bathroom door waiting for Louis to let him in
after he had kicked him out telling him that he couldn't pee with him there
watching him like a hawk. A few seconds later Louis unlocked the door blocking
Harry with his body from entering the bathroom when he tried to run to where
the test was.
"What does it say? Are you pregnant? Are we gonna have another baby?" Harry
fired question after question.
"We have to wait a few minutes." Louis said moving to sit on the edge of the
bathtub with Harry following after him.
When the time was up Harry stayed frozen on his spot while Louis walked to the
counter and slowly picked up the test looking at it. He stayed silent for a few
seconds not really knowing how to feel with the result already knowing how
Harry would feel. He didn't know how to feel at all and that scared him.
"Lou?" Harry waved his arms around trying to catch his attention worrying about
Louis' blank expression.
"It's negative, you can relax." Louis sighed throwing the test away turning
back to wash his hands.
"Then we have to go to the doctor, what if you're sick." Harry got up walking
behind Louis wrapping his arms around him.
"Maybe we should actually go to sleep when we go to bed. We always end up
falling asleep at two in the morning." Louis leaned his head against Harry's
chest.
"Yeah. Hey...what's wrong love?"Harry asked noticing how quiet Louis had gone.
"You freaked out when I told you I could be pregnant." Louis frowned then
looked down. "You don't want to have more kids with me?" He asked chewing on
his bottom lip terrified of the answer being no.
"I do want to have more kids with you, I want to have a million more but not
right now. We've only being together for three weeks and I just want us to be
more steady and I want to spend as much time together just the three of us. I
want to make up for those years I missed with you and Logan." Harry explained
giving Louis a small kiss on the temple and cheek.
"Three more weeks and we'll have her new birth certificate, I'm glad we changed
it before she starts school and learns how to spell her name." Louis smiled
turning around to hug Harry.
"She's gonna hate us when she learns it and has to write it down." Harry
chuckled.
"Yeah. It's almost eight, I'm gonna go give her a bath." Louis mumbled pulling
away from Harry.
"I'll get the rest ready." Harry smiled heading to her room while Louis walked
to the living room where she was.
"Guess no bath for her today. She's out." Louis walked in with her carefully
putting her down on the bed kissing her forehead.
*~*
The next three weeks were a blur for everybody busy with work. Both Louis and
Harry had reduced their sexual activities to only once or twice a week only
once resulting in Louis getting more sleep leaving the exhaustion behind as he
felt better than ever and couldn't be any happier. He didn't know that what he
had actually felt when he saw the negative test was disappointment until he
walked by the newborn section on his way with Logan to buy her new clothes and
had stopped in front of it looking at the tiny blue onesies and tiny shoes. He
never mentioned it to Harry knowing he didn't wanted a baby at the moment and
part of him agreed with him but the other just yearned for another one where
Harry would be there with him and where he would actually enjoy his pregnancy
and not cry all the time hating every moment of it when he was reminded of how
he had gotten pregnant and by who yet he couldn't wait to hold and meet the
tiny human being growing inside of him. That night Harry had gone home for the
night and after singing a lullaby to Logan he went to bed and cried himself to
sleep not really knowing why he was crying in the first place.
The day they obtained Logan's new birth certificate both of their families
visited from Doncaster and together with their friends celebrated that she was
now a Styles and was legally Harry's daughter by going to her favorite place
which was the zoo inviting Brian, David and Alex as well. After everyone had
gone home and only their families had stayed Anne finally informed them Adam
had pleaded guilty and had been sentenced to eight years in prison with no
parole after Gemma had presented photographic evidence of his abuse thus not
bothering Harry to testify since the proof was there. Adam had also admitted to
beating both of them and cutting and burning his son with cigarette butts while
his daughter would be locked down in the basement screaming at him to stop
almost going crazy from hearing her brother's blood curling screams when he
would pass out and Adam would always avoid hitting his face.
Harry had spent the night with Louis looking at the picture on Louis' bedside
table with the three of them on Logan's birthday party until Louis turned off
the lights and held him when Harry cried himself to sleep soaking Louis'
stomach while he tried to be strong for him holding back his own tears. The
next morning Harry woke up as if nothing had happened and after he made
breakfast he left for work giving Louis and Logan a kiss promising to be back
before three to go shopping for Logan's karate lessons happy that it was
already Friday and her classes would begin the following Monday after getting
pushed back to be able to renovate the academy to make it safer.
*~*
"I thought we were only going to buy the stuff she needed. Louis we're hungry."
Harry whined bending down to pick Logan up after she refused to keep walking
dragging her feet on the floor whenever he would walk.
"Yeah but she needs new shoes so why not shop for them now that we're here."
Louis said as he looked through the shoes picking up a pair of red converse
quickly putting them back down before he picked up a pair of black vans.
"She has plenty of them...last night I found a dusty pair under the couch when
I was looking for my ring." Harry said giving Logan a piece of gum.
"Most of them don't fit anymore and others are too worn out Harry. Do you want
your daughter to get blisters on her feet or be walking around in shoes that
are falling apart by the minute? I don't think so." Louis looked at Harry
raising an eyebrow making him put his free hand up in defeat.
"Daddies I'm hungry." Logan whined looking around before she set her head down
on Harry's shoulder dramatically sighing when Louis told her to wait.
Almost an hour later Louis decided he had had enough and left the store with
three new pairs of vans and two pairs of sandals for the warm weather heading
out to one of the restaurants in the shopping centre. They ended up in panda
express when Louis wouldn't stop craving the orange chicken and after they were
done eating and Harry was in the bathroom, Louis stayed behind tickling Logan
and nearly kissing her face off then they finally left heading back home.
~*~
"Daddy I don't like it." Logan said through a mouthful of jelly beans getting
ready to spit them out just as Louis reached over from the front seat of the
car putting his hand by her chin.
"Do you have a napkin?" Louis asked Harry holding his palm up full of chewed up
jelly beans.
"I have tissues." Harry glanced at his hand passing the whole box trying to
focus back on the road already used to to her always spitting things back out
when she ended up not liking them also noticing Louis fidgeting on his seat
after cleaning his hand off.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." Louis said dropping the
bags by the door running straight to his bathroom leaving a confused Harry
behind with Logan.
"I want to watch a movie." Logan looked up at Harry pouting her bottom lip.
"Sure. Which one?" Harry asked getting up to play whatever she wanted.
"This one." Logan picked up Wreck it Ralph giving it to Harry then ran back to
the couch snuggling with her blanket and teddy bear.
Harry sat down next to her completely focusing on the movie wrapping his arms
around her after she crawled on his lap leaning against his chest playing with
his fingers. Almost fifteen minutes later Louis was still in the bathroom when
Harry began getting worried and slowly lifted Logan up putting her back down on
the couch getting up to go see if he was okay telling her to stay put while he
checked on daddy leaving after she barely nodded laying down on her side
petting Buttercup who was on the floor next to her. He walked into his bedroom
getting ready to knock on the bathroom door and ask him if he was okay when he
heard a muffled moan coming from Louis, he thought about turning around and
going back when he heard him saying his name over and over again.
"Lou...You okay?" Harry knocked on the door hearing him shuffling around.
"Y- yeah, I'm perfect." Louis quickly said.
"Okay then, I'm gonna go back and watch the movie with Logan." Harry said
backing away from the door.
"She's in the living room?" Louis asked.
"Yeah, I'll-"
Harry didn't get to finish the sentence when Louis opened the door and pulled
him inside closing and locking the door again, he was pushed against the wall
feeling Louis' hot breath mingling with his own as Louis attacked his lips
trying to unzip his pants at the same time. Harry pulled Louis closer by the
back of his neck reaching down to take his pants off finding out they were
already halfway down Louis' bum as well as hard, he lifted the elastic of his
boxers shoving his hand inside wrapping it around his length already leaking
precum using it as lubricant running his thumb over the slit feeling himself
getting harder by the minute.
Louis whined when Harry pulled his hand back out managing to hold onto his
broad shoulders just in time when Harry pulled his pants down and lifted him up
into the counter while Louis kicked his pants off of around his ankles hissing
at the cold granite underneath his bum. They continued kissing almost
desperately while Harry slowly stroked Louis trying to stay quiet when Louis
wrapped his hand around him using his other hand to pull his pants down enough
to free his erection pumping faster as Harry did the same until Louis just
needed to feel him deep inside of him.
"I- I need you inside me. Now, hurry." Louis slightly pushed him away to open
one of the drawers taking a condom and another bottle of lube out almost
throwing them at Harry who managed to catch them.
Louis quickly jumped off of the counter and turned around facing the mirror
waiting for Harry to bend him over the counter just like he wanted then turned
his head around when nothing happened seeing Harry pouring lube on his fingers
to open him up.
"Harry just...I already opened myself up, just fuck me." Louis whined bending
over the counter letting Harry see all of him.
"You were fingering yourself?" Harry asked feeling his cock twitching. "And
it's called making love not fucking."
"Yeah yeah." Louis urged him.
Harry pressed the tip against Louis' hole seeing how he tried to form the words
but couldn't say anything when he kept opening and closing his mouth settling
with nodding and closing his eyes tightly. Harry placed his hand over Louis'
mouth just as he was about to let out a loud moan feeling Harry dragging his
length up and down his crack until he felt it slowly entering him and
stretching him open finding himself pushing backwards managing to get it all
deep inside of him gasping and loving the feeling of being full. He pulled out
and slowly pushed back in setting a rhythm kneading the skin of Louis' bum
before he let his hands run from his hips up to his sides leaning down to kiss
and suck on the back of his neck almost coming right there and then when Louis
lifted his head up facing the mirror where Harry could see his face.
He could see his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, eyes tightly closed and
teeth biting on his bottom lip trying not to make much noise holding onto the
edge of the sink to keep himself from bouncing back and forth too much when he
thrusted in and out faster. He began slamming into him hearing the sound of
skin slapping against skin as soon as Louis had asked him to go faster making
him want to scream whenever Harry would hit his spot then was surprised when he
grabbed both of his hands intertwining their fingers together resting his palms
on the counter on either side of his head.
Louis still had his eyes closed when he felt Harry's torso on top of him then
his warm lips kissing the back of his ear and neck loving the way his hot
breath felt against his skin all the while he pushed back every time Harry
pushed in getting closer and closer. Harry stopped moving making Louis whine
feeling so close yet so far away then gasped when Harry began moving his hips
in eight figures deep inside of him pressing on his spot until Louis arched his
back moaning his name coming all over the cabinet with Harry following coming
together. They stayed in the same position for a few seconds trying to catch
their breath until Louis lazily lifted his head up to look at Harry smiling
when he kissed him then slowly pulled out of him tying and throwing the used
condom away wrapped in toilet paper.
"I thought you were sick or something." Harry mumbled picking Louis up to turn
him around and clean him up.
"I was horny, really really horny." Louis shrugged watching Harry clean him up
then the brown cabinet.
"I know....quite horny." Harry chuckled brushing Louis' hair out of his
forehead.
"Shut up, you love it when I'm horny." Louis pouted.
"I do. We should change shirts and go back to watch that movie with Logan."
Harry suggested picking his lips then walked to the closet taking two shirts
out that belonged to him and had ended up in Louis' closet.
"Daddies, where are you?" Logan's voice came from the other side of the door
trying to open it.
"We're here, wait a minute." Louis said putting his pants back on.
They quickly put on their shirts, fixed their hair and washed their hands when
she began jiggling the door knob and banging on the door to open it yelling at
them to hurry up because she had to potty and couldn't hold it in any longer
because she was still little. They opened the door seeing her sitting on the
floor with Buttercup on her lap wrapped in her blanket with only his face
peeking out licking her chin making her giggle while Louis groaned knowing he
was gonna have to wash it again and he was sure it would involve a crying fit
with her refusing to let go of it.
"Did you had to potty too daddy?" Logan asked looking up at Harry with wide
curious eyes.
"No, daddy Lou needed help...we were counting how many Q-tips we have left."
Harry said trying to fix his hair again.
"We need more?" She continued asking.
"No, we have plenty. Don't you have to potty?" Louis asked picking her up after
she lifted her arms up at him.
"It went bye bye." Logan shrugged resting her head on his shoulder facing his
neck. "You have a booboo." She poked the back of his neck making him flinch
while Harry tried not to laugh.
"It's okay babycakes, it doesn't hurt." Louis kissed her cheek narrowing his
eyes at Harry then walked out of the room yelping a little when Harry smacked
his ass acting like he didn't do anything when Logan quickly turned to see
where the sound had come from.
Since the movie wasn't over yet they sat down on the couch to watch it together
until Logan lost interest and instead littered the coffee table with her
plastic blocks building strange figures then after she was satisfied with her
work she would knock them over and start all over again. She kept doing it
until her gaze focused on the corner of the living room where she kept the rest
of her toys then let out a giggle getting up and plopping down in front of the
toy chest taking out most of them while Louis and Harry kept watching the movie
looking over to her once in a while.
"No that's my daddy's, you can't play with it." Logan pouted grabbing Kelly
hiding her under the rug making Louis and Harry look at her with curious eyes.
"They're my daddies not yours." Logan continued.
"Logan who are you talking to?" Louis asked getting ready to get up getting
frightened.
"Emily." Logan said after a pause. "No they're not your daddies, I don't want
them to be your daddies. They're mine!" Logan whined starting to get upset.
"Hey bug why don't we go give you a bath then we can go to bed." Harry got up
walking towards her then picked her up to give her a bath stopping when she
began crying for Louis when he moved to pick up the toys not stopping until
Louis walked back towards them.
After she was clean and comfortable Louis took her back to his room not wanting
her to be alone setting her down in the middle of the bed then waited until
Harry was done showering so he could take one. When he was done he walked out
of the bathroom seeing Harry observing her with careful eyes as she giggled
answering yes or no to whoever she was talking to until she began getting
drowsy falling asleep by Harry's legs sucking on her thumb like usual.
"Who do you think Emily is?" Louis asked after they were all settled in bed
with the light off and Logan was on his chest sleeping soundly.
"Probably an imaginary friend, all kids have one at some point." Harry answered
nuzzling his face on Louis' neck.
"I don't want her talking to that imaginary friend if it's gonna upset her."
Louis decided brushing his fingers through Logan's damp curls.
"Apparently 'Emily' wanted us to be her daddies too and you know how possessive
she is. She's fine now, they're bff's again and she'll get over the imaginary
friend phase soon enough. Now we sleep, love you Lou." Harry pulled them closer
to him.
"Love you too cupcake." Louis mumbled.
By Monday afternoon before her first lesson Logan was still talking to Emily
scaring the hell out of Zayn during the weekend when he thought she was going
crazy when she kept talking to herself until Louis explained that it was okay
since they had never heard her talking diabolically or had made her do bad
stuff because her friend had told her so.
Louis smiled watching Harry taking millions of pictures of Logan wearing her
brand new white uniform, her light white shoes and white belt as she jumped up
and down with excitement telling Harry to send pictures to Nana, Ninna, papa,
poppy and all her aunties and uncles.
They were excited to see their little girl learning something new already
having figured out their schedule since she had forty five minute classes every
Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays starting at three pm. Louis would stay Mondays
and Harry Fridays then on Wednesdays Harry would stay half time then Louis the
other taking her back home.
Once they were seated in the parent area next to Brian and David that turns out
had decided to have Alex getting involved in karate as well Harry had gotten
permission from Mrs. Johnson to take pictures of Logan capturing every moment.
He also began taking individual pictures of Alex then both kids together after
asking his parents if it was okay promising they would have pictures of their
son. As soon as classes were over both sweaty kids ran up to their parents
holding hands as excited as they had been when they had first arrived and after
planning they decided to take them out to eat to planet Hollywood.
"Daddy it's Hulk!" Alex exclaimed pulling on Brian's shirt with one hand and
pointing at the giant screen with the other.
"It is, look it's Iron Man." Brian smiled widely also pointing at the screen.
"Papa look it's Iron Man, daddy's favorite." Alex turned to David shoving a
pickle into his mouth.
"That's daddy's favorite?" David fake gasped.
"Yes." Alex nodded giggling a little.
"I thought his favorite was Hawkeye." David faked surprise reaching to kiss his
son's forehead when Alex shook his head telling him it was Iron Man and his was
Hawkeye.
"He really loves them." Brian chuckled looking at both Louis and Harry while
Logan was on Louis' lap eating her fries.
"Captain America is my favorite, she loves Toy Story. Don't you lovebug?" Harry
smiled kissing her temple.
"I like Jesse and daddy Lou likes Woody." Logan nodded.
"I think she's seen them more times than I did when I was a kid." Louis
chuckled wrapping his arms around her tummy hugging her closer.
"I dressed up as Woody when I was six and didn't take it off for three days
straight." David confessed making them laugh.
"I've seen the pictures." Brian laughed.
"Hey! I looked cute." David lightly smacked him on the shoulder.
"Alex kinda resembles you." Brian said.
"Yeah he does. Logan looks so much like you Harry and she looks like Louis a
little too. Perfect combination." David smiled.
"She does...got the crazy curls." Louis nodded smiling down at Logan running
his fingers through her hair while David and Brian smiled at each other
noticing the way Harry looked at them as if they were his blue skies.
~*~
"That was fun." Louis sighed as soon as they stepped inside Louis' flat.
"We should go out with them more often. Did you noticed how they look at each
other? It's like they have this deep connection and they're just so in love."
Harry smiled sitting down on the couch next to Louis while Logan rolled around
on the floor with Buttercup.
"Yeah...You do love me right?" Louis asked looking up at Harry who was already
looking at him with love and adoration in his eyes.
"I love you so so much, more than my own life Lou. I would do anything for you
and our daughter, I would die if it means both of you will stay safe and
happy." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis kissing the top of his head letting
his lips stay there.
"I love you too, we love you so much. You have to promise me you'll always be
here with us and you're never going to leave us." Louis said almost desperate
feeling a knot forming in his throat at the thought of Harry leaving them and
never coming back.
"I promise you with my life that I'm never going to leave both of you, I'm here
to stay and I'm not going anywhere." Harry pressed his left cheek on the top of
Louis' head.
"Always and forever?" Louis asked lifting Harry's hand to kiss his knuckles.
"Always and forever." Harry promised.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_m2apdkAeNr1r6943u_zps102aae4e.gif]
      
      
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_m2apdkAeNr1r6943u_zps102aae4e.gif
      
     Thoughts? :)
      
     Gif on below is supposed to be them at the end.
***** A scar on the horizon, a perfect dim illusory light* *****
Chapter Notes
     Listen to the song, you'll know when to play it. :)
     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4q-0ApFX9I
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"So you'll pick her up Friday after her karate lessons and bring her back
Sunday night?" Louis asked Zayn holding the phone close to his ear.
It was the Tuesday after her first class when Zayn and Niall called telling
them they had Friday off and wanted to take her for the weekend to spend proper
time with her like they used to when they still lived together. He had Logan
taking a nap on the couch with her head resting on his lap as he ran a hand
through her hair watching Harry moving around in the kitchen cooking dinner. He
quickly looked down thinking she was already awake when he felt her twitching
only to see she was moving around in her sleep probably dreaming since he could
see her eyelids fluttering.
"Yeah. So is that a yes?" Zayn urged on the phone wanting an answer.
"I'm okay with it but I have to make sure Harry is too." Louis said flinching
when he poked a love bite Harry had given him that morning.
"Since when do you ask for his permission to let her do stuff or let any of us
take her out." Zayn grumbled.
"Since he became responsible for her." Louis answered smiling when he locked
eyes with Harry.
"Oh really?" Zayn sarcastically asked, "So he's finally financially helping you
with all her expenses now?"
"Half and half with everything....actually more than half since he's literally
supporting both of us right now cause I haven't touched my money at all." Louis
shrugged even though Zayn couldn't see him.
"Damn...he's better than I thought. I have to go but ask him and let me know,
send me a text. Bye Lou and kiss Logan for me, love you both." Zayn said.
"I will and we love you too." Louis said before hanging up putting his phone on
top of the coffee table.
"Dinner's almost ready. Everything okay?" Harry asked sitting next to Louis.
"Yeah. Zayn and Niall wanna take Logan for the weekend and I wanted to know if
it's okay with you." Louis asked.
"You- You wanted to make sure I'm okay with it?" Harry asked flabbergasted.
"I am and I told Zayn I was okay with it but that I had to make sure you're
okay too." Louis smiled a little resting his cheek on Harry's shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah I'm okay with it. They've known her pretty much ever since she was
still a fetus so I know she'll be fine and safe with them but you don't have to
ask me, if you're okay then I'm okay." Harry said.
"A fetus? Really Harry?" Louis laughed.
"Well it's true." Harry shrugged.
"I want to ask you if you're okay with things just like you always ask me if
I'm okay too. We both have to be on the same page and okay with whatever we
want to do....hi baby!" Louis exclaimed seeing Logan wide awake staring up at
them.
"You hungry yet lovebug?" Harry asked leaning down to kiss her forehead while
she rubbed her eyes.
Harry chuckled and got up to continue making dinner leaving Louis and Logan
alone in a nice comfortable silence as he waited for her to fully wake up, she
took a deep breath then slowly got up and climbed on Louis' lap straddling him
then wrapped her arms around his neck resting her head on his shoulder sighing
in content. She stayed there until Harry called them in for dinner then clung
to him choosing to sit on his lap and eat her food feeding both of them once in
a while making airplane noises even though they were eating the same thing.
*~*
"Everything she will need is in her bag and call us if something happens. Are
you sure you guys are fine with taking the dog too?" Louis asked giving Zayn a
small light blue duffel bag.
"We don't mind at all." Zayn smiled.
"We want to see what it's like anyway." Niall continued.
"Got the test results back already? Who's the lucky one?" Louis asked hearing
Harry and Logan laughing from her room.
"I am but...I can't conceive that easy like you, I'll- I'll need treatments."
Niall looked down chewing on his bottom lip.
"Hey...it will be okay and before you know it you'll be carrying a little one
that I'm going to spoil rotten." Louis smiled trying to make him feel better.
"Doctor said I only have a forty percent chance of getting pregnant Lou and
even if I go through with it it might not work." Niall explained tearing up.
"If it doesn't work then I could carry it for you, you guys are always there
for me and this is the least I could do." Louis beamed then turned around to
see Harry standing behind him with Logan hanging from his leg like a koala.
"Hey guys." Harry waved then turned back to Louis, "Carry what babe?"
"Umm, I found out its hard for me to get pregnant and Louis offered to carry it
for us but it's okay...He doesn't have to." Niall informed him rather nervously
while Zayn pulled him closer kissing the top of his head.
"Oh. Well I think that's great, you both were always there for him." Harry
smiled.
"You don't mind?" Louis asked.
"Not at all." Harry bent down to pick Logan up then walked to stand next to
Louis.
"So then it's settled. Whenever you guys want to and of course after the
treatments which I'm sure will work." Louis hugged both of them.
"Thank you so much Lou, you're the best." Zayn hugged him tighter.
"You don't have to thank me Zee, I just want both of you to be happy and be
able to become parents."
"Uncle Zayn, uncle Niall we go now? I want to go to the park." Logan wiggled
out of Harry's arms into Zayn's.
"We shall go now cupcake, say bye to your daddies." Zayn smiled kissing her
cheek.
"Bye daddies, love you." Logan leaned over to kiss their cheeks.
"Bye lovebug, I love you and be a good girl." Harry kissed her forehead.
"I am." Logan smiled.
"I love you baby and please listen to uncle Niall and Zayn." Louis cupped the
back of her head kissing the tip of her nose.
"I love you daddies, bye." Logan quickly said expecting Zayn to start walking
making them chuckle.
"We'll bring her back Sunday night and thank you so much for letting us take
her." Niall smiled hugging Louis.
"No problem, call us if anything happens." Louis said.
"Bye guys." Zayn waved walking out of the flat after Niall closing the door
leaving Louis and Harry in complete silence.
"So what do we do now?" Harry asked raising his eyebrows when Louis smirked.
*~*
"Oh my god yes...Yeah just like that." Louis moaned tightening his grip on the
tangled up bedsheets underneath him as Harry pounded into him from behind.
He reached down grabbing his cock and began pumping himself in sink with
Harry's thrusts until he felt his lower stomach tightening then his cum in his
hand staying still until Harry came into the condom. He let himself fall down
onto the mattress with Harry still inside of him feeling his sweaty body on top
of him fitting in like a puzzle piece as he tried to catch his breath then felt
him pulling out and laying next to him wrapping his long arms around him.
"I think- I think I like it better like this, you doing all the work." Louis
reached to trail kisses up and down Harry's neck leaving small red marks behind
wherever he so desired.
"You don't want to- to try again?" Harry panted running his fingers up and down
Louis' back.
"No, never again. I like it better when you fuck me...into the mattress." Louis
tugged on Harry's bottom lip noticing the way Harry's cheeks tinted a little
red.
"It's not fucking, it's making love." Harry whined flipping Louis around so he
was on his back accommodating himself in between his legs moving his hips in
small circular motions hearing Louis let out a tiny moan.
"You ready for another round?" Louis asked wrapping his legs around Harry
locking his ankles together.
"We should eat breakfast first, you look a little pale." Harry stopped moving
his hips and kissed Louis' forehead before he got up.
"I want French toast and...you're walking funny." Louis laughed.
"You sure you don't wanna try again?" Harry looked at him raising his eyebrow.
"No! Now make me breakfast." Louis threw a pillow at him thinking about the
night before that to him had ended up in disaster.
He had never felt so embarrassed in his life when he came way too fast just as
Harry was starting to get used to him and wasn't even close to finishing then
ended up getting himself off while Louis was too embarrassed to even watch.
Harry had quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed the life out of him
praising him that he had done great and with time he would get better and last
longer but Louis quickly said no telling him he would never top ever again and
would rather let Harry do all the work. He could smell the food Harry was
preparing and hear his stomach growling needing food and fast deciding to just
get up wash his hands and put at least some boxers on. As soon as he got up he
quickly sat back down opening and closing his eyes feeling the room spinning
around then his heart rate and breathing increasing until they went back to
normal and he was able to get up again as if nothing had happened. Nothing
happened for the rest of the day since he spent it pressed up against or on his
stomach on any flat surface they could find in his or Harry's flats christening
both places except Logan's rooms.
~*~
"Zayn called and said he's gonna drop her off after her nap." Louis said
grabbing a fistful of popcorn eating one by one laying down next to Harry on
the couch both of them wearing nothing but boxers.
"Should we make dinner tonight?" Harry asked while sending a text to his
assistant about his schedule for Monday.
"I dunno but I know what we should do right now." Louis smirked turning around
to face Harry kissing up and down his chest abandoning his bowl full of
popcorn.
"Again!?" Harry's eyes widened looking fucked out even though he was the one
doing the fucking and wasn't even sure if he would be able to get it up ever
again after their crazy Saturday and Sunday morning when Louis had asked him or
more like demanded do it on top of the kitchen table.
"Yes again...Harry I need you." Louis whined drawing circles on his chest with
his index finger then looked sad out of nowhere, "Don't you want me anymore?"
Louis' eyes began shining with tears as he tried to unsuccessfully get away
from him.
"I do want you, come here." Harry pulled him closer by the back of his neck
never letting go as he kissed him tasting the popcorn he had just been eating.
Harry grabbed Louis by the waist and lifted him up placing him in between his
legs where Louis quickly began grinding on him to try and get him hard as fast
as he could feeling Harry's hands underneath his boxers kneading and squeezing
the skin. He sat up shifting Louis so he was straddling him and got up running
towards his room holding him up by the back of his thighs gently putting him
down on the bed then let himself fall next to him waiting for Louis to do
something.
Louis licked his lips and straddled his waist after grabbing lube and a condom
making a mental note to buy more and slowly began moving his hips in eight
figures as Harry moved his hands from his shoulders all the way down to the
curve of his bum making Louis shiver then moan when he felt one of Harry's
lubed up fingers entering him. A second one was added soon then a third one
before he put the condom on Harry then lubed him up himself, he got on his
knees resting one hand by Harry's head and used the other to guide his erection
up to his entrance slowly lowering himself on it. Once Harry was all the way
inside of him he stayed still leaning down to kiss Harry then began moving his
hips up and down at a slow pace before he moved them faster earning loud moans
from Harry as he cupped his cheeks with his hands squeezing the flesh urging
him to go faster.
"I'm- I'm gonna come...shit Lou you're tight." Harry bucked his hips up
slamming into Louis tightly gripping his hips.
"Nonono, not yet...h- hold it." Louis closed his eyes shifting his angle until
Harry was hitting his prostate with every thrust.
Louis threw his head backwards supporting himself on his hands resting them on
Harry's thighs getting closer and closer feeling Harry's hand wrapping around
his cock pumping it until he came hard shouting Harry's name coating both of
their chests. Harry pulled Louis towards him kissing and tugging on his lips as
Louis bounced up and down faster meeting Harry's thrusts in the middle slowing
down when Harry emptied himself into the condom. Louis brought his head down
resting it on the crook of Harry's neck trying to even out his breathing
relaxing when Harry kissed his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him
welcoming in his warmth. He carefully lifted him up then lowered him back down
again managing to get rid of the condom.
"I love you..." Louis mumbled half asleep.
"I love you too angel. C'mon let's go shower before Logan gets here." Harry
smiled getting up with him in his arms chuckling when Louis whined trying to
get him to stay.
After showering together and cleaning the flat a bit to make it look more
presentable and neat they settled down on the couch to wait for her while
watching tv. Once Logan got there it was all hugs and kisses to both daddies
telling them all about her time with uncle Zayn and uncle Niall after they had
left then wanted to know if they had missed her while she was gone getting hugs
and kisses as an answer. Louis had laughed when he found a Little Mix CD in her
bag remembering one of the songs from when he had picked Logan up from Lottie's
and by the end of the day he and Harry had memorized 'Move' by the amount of
times Logan had asked them to replay it and it was all thanks to Zayn who had
gotten the CD for her.
~*~
"Love I have to go, I'll see you at lunch." Harry whispered to a half asleep
Louis.
"Okay, love you." Louis mumbled getting comfortable under the covers.
"Love you more." Harry said kissing his forehead before he walked out of the
room and into Logan's.
She was sleeping almost at the foot of the bed curled up next to Buttercup and
slightly whined when Harry picked her up and tucked her back in her spot giving
her a kiss on the forehead then left for work after taking the dog out to the
pet area and leaving food and water for him. An hour later Louis began moving
around on his bed feeling uncomfortable and him sweating wasn't making it any
better, he moved to his side pushing the covers away to let his body cool down
when his eyes snapped open and as fast as he could got out of bed running
towards the bathroom with a hand over his mouth. He had barely made it to the
toilet when he began throwing up everything he had eaten the day before getting
some on his fingers which only helped to make him throw up again until he had
nothing left on his stomach and was left gagging then flushed it down lowering
the toilet seat resting his check on it feeling slightly better as he closed
his eyes.
"Daddy?" Logan called from the door making him open his eyes trying to get up.
"Morning baby." Louis tried to smile walking to the sink to wash his hands and
brush his teeth before he picked her up.
"It's the nasty water coming out, you sick too daddy?" She asked wrapping an
arm around his shoulders.
"No baby, daddy just ate a lot of food yesterday." Louis poked her cheek
walking back to bed feeling so much better already and as if nothing had
happened.
It continued for the rest of the week usually when Harry was already gone for
work and even though Louis already knew what was wrong with him he ignored it
hoping for it to go away knowing deep inside it would never happen but when the
smell of some foods were enough to make him sick he decided to buy a few
pregnancy tests thinking it was best to keep it to himself until he had taken
them and gone to a doctor to be a hundred percent sure. That Tuesday morning he
stared down at the four positive tests smiling widely then began crying when he
realized how much he really wanted their new baby and how he was going to tell
Harry he was pregnant when he had made it clear he didn't want another child at
the moment. After he had thrown away the positive tests making sure Harry would
never find them and he had washed his face he made an appointment for the
following Thursday with Dr. Lane who had delivered Logan.
"What did you do all day?" Harry kissed Louis as soon as he had walked through
the door holding a small plastic box with cupcakes.
"We went grocery shopping then David and I took the kids to the park." Louis
answered stiffening when Harry wrapped his arms around him rubbing small
circles on his bare skin right where Louis knew very well he would soon have a
baby bump.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked pulling away.
"Nothing...your hands are kinda cold, that's all." Louis smiled.
"Oh, sorry." Harry smiled in return turning around when he heard Logan coming
from her room shouting 'daddy' at the top of her lungs jumping into his
awaiting arms.
Louis smiled watching him as he picked her up and twirled her around before he
kissed her cheeks blowing raspberries on them making her laugh hysterically
until she pushed his face away and he set her back down on the floor where she
clung to Louis' leg, a new habit she had developed doing it to either of them.
"I'm too lazy to cook dinner. Wanna go out and get something?" Harry asked.
"Sure, just let me go change her clothes." Louis smiled pecking his lips then
picked Logan up being careful with her legs around his stomach making sure she
didn't kick it now that he knew about the baby.
Louis was able to hide his puking sessions and waves of nausea for the rest of
the week rather successfully and for once was glad that Harry left early and
wasn't home much due to too many things he had going on at work or else he
would've found out by then and the thought of Harry leaving him because of an
unplanned pregnancy scared him to death. Even though he wasn't showing yet he
couldn't help but feel paranoid that if Harry was to see him shirtless then he
would know something was going on and he would have to tell him without an
ultrasound picture like he wanted and had planned so he opted for always
wearing a shirt only taking them off when he was alone or in the dark.
~*~
"Louis Tomlinson?" A short blonde nurse called him in after waiting for ten
minutes in Dr. Lane's office.
He walked into an examination room where she checked his vitals, weight and
height. She asked him a few questions then walked him into another room telling
him Dr. Lane would be there in a few minutes.
"Louis! Oh my God look at you all grown up and handsome as ever." Dr. Lane
exclaimed walking into the room reaching to give him a small hug.
"Dr. Lane, how are you?" Louis smiled hugging her back.
"Call me Rebecca and I'm great. How's your baby girl." She asked taking a seat
in front of Louis.
"Her name's Logan and she's great...definitely not a baby anymore." Louis'
whole face brightened talking about her.
"Bet she's a gorgeous little girl. So you're pregnant again?" She asked smiling
wider when he happily nodded.
"I'm gonna have to do an internal ultrasound just to make sure since you say
you think you're less than six weeks, it might be a bit uncomfortable but
painless. I'm gonna step out while you change into this." Rebecca said handing
him a blue hospital gown.
A few minutes later he was sitting on the examination table with a white sheet
over his lap when Rebecca walked back in asking him to lay down on his back and
put his feet up on the stirrups then proceeded to explain the procedure
blushing when she told him she had to stretch him out a bit. He looked at the
clock hoping for her to be done soon since he had two hours to pick Logan up
from David's house hoping she wasn't crying at the moment, he winced a little
when he felt what she had called a transducer penetrating him getting annoyed
that he hadn't been allowed to pee before.
"You are pregnant, congratulations Louis. That's your baby right there."
Rebecca announced seconds later pointing at the screen to a small grey blob
surrounded by a black sac then more grey around it.
"How far along am I?" Louis asked wiping away the happy tears.
"You are...eight weeks on the dot." Rebecca said looking at the screen then at
Louis when he said nothing.
"Ei- eight weeks? That's- that's impossible, I should be less than six." Louis
stuttered.
"You are carrying an eight week embryo Louis, one more week until it enters the
fetal stage." Rebecca explained.
"Then that means...I took those morning after pills and I even took a pregnancy
test five weeks ago that was negative." Louis explained trying not to cry
because he had been pregnant all along and both he and Harry had been going at
it rather roughly and now their baby could be hurt.
"Sometimes it takes more than one pregnancy test to get a positive result and
three weeks was still a bit early." She explained taking a few measurements and
pictures before she took the transducer out of Louis, "Did you tell the
pharmacist those pills were for you?" She asked.
"N- no, I told him they were for my girlfriend." Louis blushed a little.
"That's how you ended up pregnant then, men need a specific pill made for them.
They have different hormone compounds than the ones made for females and since
you took regular ones it was as if you never took them." Rebecca explained.
"Is my baby okay?" Louis asked.
"It is healthy and in great shape, we weren't able to hear the heartbeat yet
but it has a strong one. I would like to see you in a week and if you could
bring the other father with you then that would be great so I can take an
extensive medical history of him to be able to know if there are any diseases
or genetic disorders that might run in the family. I know you had a healthy
baby last time but we want to make sure everything's okay with this one. Also,
there's a new prenatal ultrasound technician that will be helping me." She
explained.
"Okay...something I need to tell you. This- this baby is his too so I don't
think there will be any problems with the baby." Louis tried not to look away.
"You mean he- Louis did he..."
"Nono, this time it wasn't, it's not like that anymore. I love him and he loves
us." Louis confessed.
"As long as he doesn't hurt you again and you're happy." She genuinely smiled.
"I'm gonna prescribe you prenatal vitamins and I'll see you in a week. It was
nice to see you again and I would really love to meet your daughter and her
father."
"You will, thanks Rebecca."
Louis left her office with an ultrasound picture to show to Harry, a filled
prescription and the biggest smile on his face. He picked Logan up thanking
David a million times for watching her and that if he ever needed someone to
watch Alex to just give them a call them got home at around three in the
afternoon thinking of ways to tell Harry he was going to be a father again.
While Logan played with the dog and 'Emily', he looked at the picture slowly
tracing the shape of his baby then put a hand over his stomach hoping for a
baby boy this time. He wanted to do in a public place that way if Harry got
angry then he would have to control himself so he decided to do it over dinner
that same night then grabbed his phone to call him while he booked a
reservation at The Ledbury happy that there were tables available after five.
"Hey love." Harry answered the phone on the second ring.
"Hey....I wanted to know if you want to go out to dinner with Logan and I
tonight, I have something to tell you." Louis nervously asked.
"I would love to, what time and where...Oh and can you tell me now...please."
Harry said.
"No, it's a surprise. Tonight at six at The Ledbury." Louis smiled getting much
better.
"Six? Oh crap...I don't get off till six thirty but don't cancel love, I'm
gonna try and get out of here by six and I'll meet you there. I might be a
little late though." Harry said.
"Okay, we'll be waiting for you. I love you Harry." Louis said really meaning
it.
"I love you too Lou, kiss my lovebug for me and tell her I love her."
"I will, bye."
"Bye."
Louis hung up then looked at his phone thinking about calling his mum and Anne
to tell them the news that there was another baby on the way but decided
against it wanting Harry to be the first to know. He waited until five to get
Logan and himself ready then twenty minutes before six left their flat heading
to the restaurant getting there on time to what would be the beginning of
something beautiful or more heartbreak if things didn't go as planned. He gave
his name to the host and told him about Harry getting there a little bit late
before he led them to a table towards one of the corners close to the kitchen
far away from the rest of the crowded restaurant.
"Is my daddy curly coming too?" Logan asked playing with the edge of the white
tablecloth.
"He is baby, we just have to wait a little bit for him to get here." Louis
smiled leaning in to kiss her forehead gently grabbing her chin with his thumb
and index finger.
"Wanna know a secret?" Logan giggled leaning closer to Louis.
"I do sweetheart." Louis leaned a little bit more so he was at eye level with
her smiling when she put her hand by his ear feeling her breath tickling it.
"I love you daddy." Logan whispered pulling back smiling widely.
"And you wanna know one too?" Louis asked leaning closer to her when she
nodded. "I love you more."
He was about to kiss her cheek when he heard a loud bang coming from the
kitchen startling everyone then the employees getting out of there before he
saw them, angry orange and hot flames quickly spreading throughout the
restaurant devouring everything on their path. Without thinking he grabbed
Logan's hand pulling her towards the exit only to come face to face with a
crowd pushing each other trying to get out at same time as the cooks shouted
that the fire exits had been locked from the outside.
He frantically looked around for a way to escape hearing people all around him
coughing and doing it himself from the smoke knowing he had to protect Logan
who was crying and his unborn baby from it. Wanting to pick her up he let go of
her hand for a moment as people pushed each other but when he looked back down
she had vanished into thin air and was no longer by his side.
"Logan? Logan!?" Louis screamed horrified feeling a heavy weight on his chest
and his eyes stinging with tears that quickly rolled down his cheeks.
"Sir, the exit is that way." One of the waiters almost shouted pushing Louis
towards the exit when he began walking back into the restaurant desperately
looking for his daughter.
"No! I have- I have to find my daughter. Have you seen her? She's four and
she's wearing a light blue dress and- and has curly hair. Logan!?" Louis
shouted full on crying looking everywhere for her.
"She was probably picked up by someone and is already outside. Please sir." The
waiter pushed him outside while Louis struggled against his hold wanting to go
back seeing the flames quickly spreading.
As soon as he was outside he searched everywhere for her asking anybody who
crossed his path even the firefighters not knowing what he was going to tell
Harry, wanting to die because he had lost their daughter and he was going to
hate him. He let out a loud sob realizing she was still inside that hell when a
woman told him she had seen her and had tried to pick her up but couldn't. He
felt his chest painfully tightening when he looked up then took off running
trying to go back inside and look for her when one of the firefighters wrapped
a strong arm around him preventing him from going any further.
"Let me go!" Louis thrashed in his arms trying to get out of his grip.
"I'm sorry but I can't let you go back in there."
"My daughter's still inside, I have to get her out! Please...I can't lose her,
please." Louis begged.
"I'm sorry...I can't." The firefighter shook his head sadly.
"No....Logan...." Louis sobbed letting himself fall down to the ground still in
the man's arms.
"Louis? Louis oh thank god." Harry let out a relieved breath once he saw him
after thinking the worst wrapping his arms around him trying to make him look
at him.
"Harry I lost her, I lost our daughter. I'm sorry." Louis sobbed grabbing
fistfuls of Harry's jacket.
"Louis where is she, where's Logan? Answer me!" Harry shook Louis desperate for
an answer.
"I- I only let go for a bit then she was gone. She's- she's still inside and
they won't let me go back." Louis sobbed seeking Harry's warmth for comfort but
was pushed away crying louder until he saw what Harry was doing.
Harry could feel his heart pounding in his head as he ran towards the fire
forgetting about everything else unable to think clearly when all he could
think about was his Logan trapped in a fire, his baby girl he had only known
for less than four months and couldn't lose. He dodged a few firefighters
trying to stop him punching one of them when he was stopped and continued
running until he was inside and couldn't see clearly or breathe from the smoke.
All Louis could do was cry and watch Harry run inside the building trying to
follow him but unable to when he was held back hearing the firefighters talk
about his Harry and how they couldn't do anything to get him out. He cried
harder as he silently pleaded for Harry to find her and find a way out because
he couldn't lose them, he couldn't lose his child he had waited nine months to
have and hold and had struggled to bring her into the world. He couldn't lose
his best friend, the man he loved when he had only gotten him back. He wanted
to go back in time and do everything differently, he wanted to go back and
change that day when he willed himself to talk about Harry to the small human
being they had created knowing she would never understand him or the pain her
other father had caused.
It was a few hours later after Louis had gotten back from the hospital having
left with nothing and was now back again but this time holding a two day old
baby girl that he was finally left alone with her. He had just settled down on
his bed to rest a little when she began crying and as fast as he could got up
to pick her up and comfort her smiling a little when she stopped crying as soon
as she felt safe in his warm hold hearing his steady heartbeats. He sat down on
the bed against the headboard holding the only thing he had left of him and
that he was sure would love him back and not treat him like trash just like he
had done. He observed her tiny face lightly stroking her chubby cheek with his
thumb as she moved her tiny arms and mitten covered hands around to keep her
from scratching her face yawning and forming her tiny pouty lips into a small
'O'.
He gently grabbed the corner of her pink blanket putting it over her to keep
her warm as his eyes filled with tears ashamed of himself for ever hating such
a small, defenseless and innocent creature he had carried inside of him for way
too long and had felt her move and kick letting him know she was still there
after he had tried to get rid of her. Now that she was there in his arms he
only wanted to love and protect her letting out a muffled sob remembering how
her father had never loved him and had lied to him when he promised they would
always be together no matter what then let the tears fall down asking himself
how the hell was he going to protect her when he had failed to protect himself
that day and every single one of them for the past two years.
"I'll never let him hurt you baby, that's why he can't know about you. Your dad
used to be my best friend you know, we used to do everything together always so
happy and always getting in trouble because I was the fool who would do
anything he said. He promised me he would always be my friend and would never
let anybody hurt me but he's the one who ended up hurting me and I can't let
him hurt you too. It's wrong but because of what he did I have you and he can't
take you away from me." Louis whispered kissing the tip of her nose rocking her
when she let out a loud sharp cry.
"Don't cry my baby, please don't cry." Louis cried shifting her up against his
chest with her head resting on the crook of his neck and his hand covering her
whole back supporting her head.
"You don't need him, you don't because you have me and I'm your daddy and I
would never let anything bad happen to you. If he never loved me then I don't
think he would've loved you either because you belong to me, you're mine and
with time I realized he hates everything about me. We're better off without him
and him not knowing about you...I don't want him to hurt and hate you too,
sweetheart."
And now Louis regretted it, no matter how hurt he had been then he now
regretted ever telling her he would've never loved her when he would have loved
her no matter what enough to die for her but now it was too late. He regretted
keeping her from him and never going back to find him and tell him about her
because if he had done just that then Harry would've never missed all four
years of her life, her first word and steps. And as the glass shattered from
the heat and there was almost nothing left but flames, rubble and ashes he
cried and wished he could go back in time and let him be around her all her
life and not just four months. He wrapped his arms around his stomach realizing
he had to start all over again with nothing but his unborn baby and no Harry
but this time also without his Logan.
He felt numb and cold until he could barely hear faint coughing that only grew
louder and louder then shouts from the firefighters letting the emergency team
know they were out and alive. As fast as he could he got up and ran towards a
coughing Harry who was limping and was covered in black ashes tightly holding a
small bundle wrapped in his jacket and as he got closer he could see Harry's
forearms were slightly burnt. When he was just a few feet away from them Harry
was still violently coughing and gasping for air as he walked feeling his lungs
burning until he couldn't walk anymore and Louis watched horrified as he fell
down on his knees then to his side hitting his head on the pavement never
letting go of their daughter whose cries and coughs he could hear as Harry held
her tightly in his arms even though he was unconscious and no longer breathing.
That's when Louis knew....
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_inline_n3hk3fyDPA1s0jvw6_zps5140474f.jpg]
      
      
      
      
      
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_inline_n3hk3fyDPA1s0jvw6_zps5140474f.jpg
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** Loving you forever can't be wrong *****
Chapter Notes
     I swear I was going to update last night but my mom made me do lots
     of stuff and then I fell asleep typing it. All I have to say is that
     this story will have a happy ending because I hate sad endings and
     please read the whole chapter no matter what. I also made a track
     list for this chapter and the link is right below. Enjoy. :)
      
     http://8tracks.com/clearlymeanttobe/ghost-of-you
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Louis sat all alone in an almost empty waiting room in the hospital ICU holding
the ultrasound picture and Harry's jacket that still smelled heavily of smoke
and was stained by his tears being the only thing that had been given back to
him after the paramedics had pried a screaming and coughing Logan out and away
from Harry's tight hold. He had had to be held back as the paramedics worked on
both of them supplying her with oxygen and doing the same to Harry but more
urgently fighting against time to get him to breathe again then had calmed down
a bit after hearing one of the paramedics saying that he was breathing again.
Not wasting any time they had placed oxygen masks over both of their faces then
put into stretchers to be taken to the hospital not letting Louis ride with
either of them, he had tried to drive safely for the sake of the baby even
though he was dying on the inside and wanted to get there as fast as he could.
He had called Zayn asking him to meet him there without telling him anything
and to call the others and once he had arrived at the hospital he was told to
wait thus starting his own personal hell not knowing anything about them.
 
"Louis! Louis what happened?"
 
"It was all my fault Zayn, I told him to meet me there and I lost her." Louis
wailed running to Zayn who immediately wrapped his arms around him.
 
"Lou you need to calm down and tell us what happened." Eleanor gently said
while Liam and Niall rubbed his back.
 
"I - I told Harry to meet me at The Ledbury and I don't even know how it
started or how it spread that fast but there was a fire and I accidentally let
go of Logan and I lost her, I - I tried to go back but they wouldn't let me
until Harry got there and he did...And now he's dying and its all my fault.
It's been two hours!" Louis broke down crying again.
 
"He got her out?" Zayn asked closing his eyes when he felt Louis nodding.
 
"It's gonna be okay LouLou." Niall softly spoke.
 
"No, I - I saw him fall down...I can't lose them." Louis sobbed.
 
"They're gonna be fine Louis, you'll see...I know Harry and he's a fighter.
He'll get through this as well as Logan." Liam said trying to believe it
himself knowing Louis remembered too how he had already gone through the same
thing of almost dying.
 
"He wasn't breathing, he wasn't breathing and I didn't even get to tell him."
Louis tightened his grip on both items he was still holding.
 
"Tell him what Lou?" Zayn frantically asked.
 
"Oh Louis..." Eleanor repeated the same words she had said four years ago when
she noticed the black and grey picture Louis was holding. "Is that why you
asked him to meet you there, you were going to tell him?" She asked then
wrapped her arms around him when he nodded.
 
"They're both going to be okay and they're gonna be so happy with the new
baby." Zayn rubbed his back. "Liam, Niall...could you please go call Anne and
Jay? They need to know what happened."
 
After Liam and Niall nodded and left to call them Louis stayed in Zayn's arms
soaking his shirt with tears while he and Eleanor tried to calm him down then
brought him water he refused to drink until they mentioned the baby and he took
it realizing how thirsty he really was. Minutes later both Niall and Liam came
back telling them they were all on their way except Louis' sisters who Jay was
going to leave with Roxanne then Louis had to be held back when he saw a tall
blond doctor talking to a nurse as she pointed at him and he started walking
towards them.
 
"Louis Tomlinson? Logan Styles' father correct?" The doctor asked to a nervous
Louis who immediately shot up from his spot followed by the rest.
 
"Yes, I'm her father. Is she okay, how's Harry...her - her dad." Louis
frantically asked.
 
"I'm doctor Jones, I'm the pediatrician who treated your daughter. Dr. Summers
is treating Mr. Styles and will soon be here to let you know about his
condition." He explained in a soothing tone.
 
"How is she, is my baby okay?" Louis asked.
 
"We had to sedate her to calm her down and be able to keep the stress levels
down in order to give her an oxygen treatment. She's okay but she's gonna have
to stay hospitalized until her lungs and airway passages are cleared out from
the carbon monoxide she inhaled and we're a hundred percent sure she can
breathe on her own without any trouble. She was lucky her father kept her from
inhaling too much smoke or it would have been fatal for a small child like
her." Dr. Jones finished explaining making Louis feel a bit better but was
still worried sick about Harry's well-being.
 
"Can I see her?" Louis asked.
 
"She's sedated right now but once she wakes up one of the pediatric nurses will
come get you but only one person per visit please."
 
"Thank you." Louis said rubbing his hands on his face sighing in relief.
 
"Mr. Tomlinson? I'm Dr. Summers." Louis looked up seeing a tall dark haired man
holding a few files on his hand wearing an apologetic look making Louis fear
for the worst.
 
"Please tell me he's not dead, please..." Louis pleaded full on crying.
 
"He's alive," Dr. Summers spoke calming him down but what he said next
completely shattered him. "In attempts of keeping the child from inhaling too
much smoke he didn't protected himself...He has carbon monoxide poisoning as
well as superficial second degree burns on the forearms and face and while
treating him he stopped breathing but we were able to stabilize him..."
 
"Is he gonna be okay?" Louis interrupted tightening his grip on Harry's jacket.
 
"Right now he's in a hyperbaric chamber undergoing hyperbaric oxygen therapy to
get more oxygen into his body and get rid of the carbon monoxide and once he's
done with that we'll put him in an Endrotracheal tube to make it easier for him
to breathe." Dr. Summers explained.
 
"But he's okay right...he's awake and okay." Louis pressed.
 
"He's gone into a coma due to the high amount of gas he inhaled, we don't know
when he'll wake up and if he does there's a possibility of irreversible brain
damage. Paramedics were able to supply him with oxygen as soon as possible but
we have to consider he also took a blow to the right side of his head when he
collapsed. We're doing everything we can, can't lose hope yet." Dr. Summers
spoke the last sentence watching Louis completely break down sobbing.
 
"C - Can I see him? P - please I have to see him." Louis begged.
 
"As soon as he's done with the therapy you'll be able to see him." Dr. Summers
smiled a little then left leaving Louis with the rest of his friends but
feeling more alone than ever.
 
"Mr. Tomlinson?" A nurse dressed in light purple scrubs with teddy bears on
them spoke making Louis look up after another thirty minutes of waiting. "Your
daughter's been awake for a while now and she won't stop crying...this way
please."
 
Without looking back Louis followed her through a corridor until he could hear
her muffled cries getting louder and louder then ran to her when he saw her
laying down on the bed with another nurse next to her holding her oxygen mask
in place as she cried her eyes out that were nearly swollen shut. She had been
cleaned up and had on a light pink hospital gown also with teddy bear designs
instead of the blue dress stained with black ashes and her hair was down in a
curly mess. As soon as she spotted him she cried louder extending her arms up
to him and Louis quickly wrapped his arms around her kissing the top of her
head still smelling a bit of smoke. He didn't noticed he was crying again until
the same nurse handed him a box of tissues and smiled leaving them alone after
telling him to make sure she kept the mask on, he also wondered what was he
going to do with two children all by himself and how was he going to live
without Harry if he didn't made it. All he wanted was for him to be okay and
wake up so they could experience his second pregnancy together and be able to
enjoy Logan and their new baby as a happy family but when had things gone his
way.
 
"Daddy we go home." Logan demanded trying to pull the mask away from her face.
 
"We will soon but you have to keep it on so you can breathe better, it's for
your own good baby. I thought I lost you sweetheart." Louis ran a hand through
her curls fixing the mask with his other hand.
 
"Where's my curly? Daddy I want my curly." Logan whimpered looking around for
Harry.
 
Louis took a seat on the bed next to her cradling her head against his chest
and racking his brain for something to tell her. "Daddy is a little sick right
now like you and can't come see you because he's asleep right now but hopefully
he'll wake up soon."
 
"Then we go night night together daddy." Logan said trying to get up and go to
Harry only to be stopped by Louis.
 
"He has to sleep in his own bed for now and you're gonna sleep here, I'll sing
to you so you can go to sleep. Are you tired yet?" Louis asked hugging her
closer kissing the top of her head never wanting to let her go ever again.
 
"Mhm. Daddy I need my blankie and Mr. Curls and Buttercup!" Logan exclaimed.
 
"It's okay baby, I'm here." Louis smiled.
 
"You go night night with me?" Logan asked.
 
"Yeah baby girl, I'll go night night with you." Louis promised tucking her in.
 
Louis sung you are my sunshine by Logan's request because she missed her curly
until she fell asleep and stayed with her hugging her close to his chest
waiting for the doctors to let him see Harry. He was dozing off when Anne and
Jay walked through the door trying not to cry when they saw their defenseless
sleeping granddaughter laying on a too big bed for her wearing a small oxygen
mask. Louis felt another wave of tears roll down his face when he noticed the
state Anne was in figuring out she already knew how Harry was and it was all
his fault, if he hadn't let go of their daughter then Harry wouldn't be in that
situation having stopped breathing and now being in a coma and at risk of
permanent brain injury.
 
"Anne...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Louis miserably whimpered feeling ashamed.
 
"Calm down love, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident and Harry did what
any parent would have done, please don't blame yourself because it wasn't your
fault are all." Anne rushed to Louis' side hugging him tightly.
 
"I let her go Anne, I couldn't protect her and they almost died because of my
stupidity." Louis said against her stomach.
 
"It wasn't your fault Lou, it wasn't." Jay also wrapped her arms around him.
 
"Robin, Gemma, your parents and I got to see him as well as Liam and Eleanor.
Niall and Zayn were with him...we came to stay with her while you go see him."
Anne ran her fingers through his hair.
 
"Is he okay?" Louis asked slowly getting up from the bed.
 
"He's...he's still in a coma but stable, go see him Lou and we'll stay here.
He's in the ICU, room 219." Anne tried to smile.
 
Louis gave them a quick hug and a kiss to Logan's forehead before he rushed out
of the room almost running to the ICU and after giving Mark, Gemma and Robin a
hug he walked to Harry's room feeling anxious. A nurse made him wash his hands
to prevent infections then left Louis alone outside Harry's room leaving him on
his own with him, he took a deep breath and opened the door quickly bringing
his hand over his mouth to keep the loud sob from coming out seeing the state
Harry was in. He slowly walked up to the hospital bed where Harry was laying
hooked up to a heart monitor and a ventilator noticing a tube placed in his
mouth down to his windpipe and an IV on his left hand. He gently grabbed
Harry's right hand with both of his careful not to disturb the white bandages
on his forearms seeing more of them on his right temple and a smaller one
covering his left cheek then kissed his knuckles letting the fresh tears fall
seeing how pale he looked reaching to run his fingers through his dull hair.
 
"I'm sorry love..." Louis began drying the tears with his sleeve. "Logan's
alive and okay thanks to you and you have to wake up soon because she misses
you and wants to see you. We're - we're gonna have another baby...I just found
out last Tuesday and wanted to tell you today. Please...please wake up, I don't
want to do it alone anymore. I want you to be there when it's born and I want
this baby to know you and know you're it's father."
 
Louis took a deep breath then stayed silent watching Harry just waiting for his
eyes to flutter open and see the green he loved so much but they never did and
Harry stayed unconscious and not moving at all. He set his head down on the bed
next to Harry's hand still holding onto it listening to the steady beeps from
the heart monitor then closed his eyes hoping for a miracle, hoping for Harry
to wake up without any lasting injuries and go back home with them where he
knew he would never let him leave. He was once again dozing off still hearing
the somehow comforting and constant beeps that told him he was still alive when
he was startled by an alarm going off in the monitor, panicking and as fast as
he could he got up to press the emergency button nearly tripping on his own
feet then ran back to Harry wanting to shake him awake silently begging him not
to leave them.
 
"Harry...Harry? Harry!? Harry wake up, Harry please wake up. Open your eyes."
Louis pleaded finally letting out a heartbreaking sob letting his hands hover
over Harry's face afraid of hurting him. "NoNo, please wake up...please don't
leave me alone. Harry you promised, don't do this to me...You promised."
 
"Get the defibrillator ready, he's going into cardiac arrest!" Dr. Summers
shouted running into the room just as someone pulled Louis away from Harry as
he struggled to go back to him feeling his chest tightening.
 
Louis watched Dr. Summers commanding everyone around him before shouting
'clear' and when nothing happened and Harry showed no signs of life Louis only
cried harder. He tried three more times before he stopped and looked at the
monitor before he looked down at Harry attempting one more time then looked at
the monitor once again where it showed he had flatlined.
 
"That's enough." He said and began checking his vitals while Louis' chest
tightened more and more as the seconds passed by. "Time of death...21:34. I'm
sorry Mr. Tomlinson."
 
"No...NoNo please. Harry! Harry please..." Louis ran to his side trying to
shake him awake fighting off whoever was trying to pull him away from his
Harry, his best friend he had known since he was just a thirteen year old boy,
the boy who wanted to grow up and have a big family and be happy for the rest
of his life. "I already forgave you...please wake up. Don't leave me alone."
 
He sobbed feeling dizzy and as if he was slowly suffocating while still holding
onto Harry realizing he had forgiven him the moment he collapsed right in front
of him still holding onto and never letting go of their daughter he thought he
would hate but none of that mattered anymore when forgiveness had come too
late. His vision became blurry until he couldn't see or feel anything else but
blackness surrounding him.
 
~*~
 
The first thing he heard when he opened his eyes again were the muffled cries
coming from somewhere then slowly lifted his head noticing he was in a hospital
bed and his parents and friends were there except Liam and Zayn. He recognized
his mum to be the one who was crying wondering why until his father mentioned
Harry and that's when he remembered. He tried to get up and go to him knowing
it had all been a dream and Harry was alive and okay but when Mark held him
down and he saw the sorrow etched in their faces that's when he knew he really
was gone.
 
"Harry?" Louis croak out feeling the hot tears rolling down his temples.
 
"I'm sorry love...he's - he's gone." Jay grabbed his hand but he quickly pulled
it away.
 
"No! You're lying, he's not dead...he's - he's just sleeping." Louis sobbed
ignoring Niall and Eleanor's attempts at calming him down.
 
"Louis..." Mark started but Louis interrupted him trying to get up getting held
down by him again.
 
"I - I need to see him dad, I need to tell him - I didn't even get to tell
him." Louis struggled against his hold getting desperate. "Let me go! You don't
want me to see him because you hate him...let go dammit!"
 
His sobs quickly turned into screams begging Harry to comeback and that he had
promised to always stay with them only calming down when Dr. Summers sedated
him to keep him from harming himself and the baby after Eleanor told them he
was just a few weeks pregnant. The next time he woke up it was already morning
seeing Gemma asleep on the chair next to his bed with her head resting next to
his hand, he gently touched her shoulder making her jump then burst out crying
again when he saw her red rimmed and swollen eyes and all she could do was
comfort him even though she was hurting too.
 
"I'm sorry Lou." Gemma mumbled swallowing the lump in her throat and resisting
the need to just cry for her baby brother until she couldn't anymore.
 
"I killed him Gemma. I killed him...I'm sorry." Louis sobbed.
 
"You didn't kill him Lou, his - his time here was up...we have to be strong and
you needed to think about Logan and the new baby." Gemma gently said wrapping
her arms around him trying to accept her brother's fate.
 
"I didn't even get to tell him." Louis hid his face on Gemma's stomach.
 
"It's gonna be okay."
 
It was far from okay when they told Louis he couldn't see him until the funeral
then had cried in Anne's arms for almost two hours being her to forgive him for
killing her son while the rest took turns staying with Logan who wouldn't stop
asking for her daddies crying everytime she was told she couldn't see them yet.
The next day both Louis and her were released from the hospital and after they
got home he immediately took her and the dog locking himself in his bedroom
with them and laid down in bed with the two of them and one of Harry's hoodies
that still smelled of him.
 
He sung to Logan until she fell asleep for her afternoon nap in Louis' arms
while he silently cried knowing he was back to raising not only one but two
kids by himself deciding to find a job as an art teacher somewhere because
there was no way he would be able to model or do photoshoots while pregnant and
teaching was the safest way to go even though he never picked up a brush in
four years and a drama teacher was what he had gone to school for. He still had
to wait until it was born but while he waited he could start looking and try to
move on even if it killed him realizing he couldn't and would never move on.
 
"You and your baby brother or sister are gonna be okay...I promise. I'll make
sure you never forget daddy." Louis kissed her forehead then put a hand over
his stomach letting the tears fall down. "I'm sorry he won't be there to
welcome you but I will, I love you and I'm sure he would've loved you too. I
love you both."
 
The day of the funeral Zayn called Anna and Logan was left a crying mess
clinging to Louis' leg not wanting to let him go until Brian and David showed
up leaving Alex to keep her company while they attended the funeral and the
burial. Louis thought he would be able to handle watching how they lowered him
down into that black hole, he thought he would be able to handle losing him
again and this time for good but in that moment he finally felt the walls he
had built crumbling down one by one not wanting to lose him. He looked around
seeing Gemma, Anne and Robin hugging each other silently crying then Liam who
couldn't hold back the tears and was being held by Eleanor surrounded by his
own family that had showed up while Zayn and Niall stood by Jay and Mark.
 
"Noo..." Louis whispered watching Harry's casket disappearing and catching
Zayn's attention.
 
"Lou..." Zayn mumbled letting go of Niall watching with wide eyes as Louis
dropped the flowers he was carrying and ran towards the grave.
 
"No please! Stop it...He doesn't want to be in there he's just sleeping. Please
stop!" Louis sobbed pulling on one of the gravedigger's arm to get him to stop.
 
"Louis he's gone, he's gone." Zayn cried trying to pull him back.
 
Jay, Anne, Gemma and Eleanor cried harder trying to go to a hysterical Louis
but Liam got there first trying to get him away from the grave being careful
with him while Louis thrashed in his and Zayn's arms begging them to let him go
because Harry needed him. He felt himself being carried away from Harry then
felt his mother's warm arms around him trying to console him calming down but
as soon as Zayn and Liam let go he got up and tried to run back to him only to
be stopped by both men as he began to kick and scream. He stopped screaming
when he felt a sharp pain on his stomach leaving him gasping for air then thick
wetness on the back his pants followed by it running down his leg, he looked
down touching the back of his thigh lifting his hand up again to see his
fingers covered in dark red blood then let out a blood curling scream once
again feeling darkness engulfing him.
 
~*~
 
"Louis? Baby please wake up."
 
Louis slowly opened his eyes flinching at the bright light feeling warm hands
holding his own noticing his mother with red rimmed eyes looking back at him
looking relieved when all the memories of what had happened came back, his
hands immediately moved to his stomach trying to feel a bump, anything then
began crying when he couldn't. He never got to feel a bump or feel it move and
kick.
 
"Mum...my - my baby." Louis sobbed.
 
"The baby's okay Lou, your baby's fine and..." Jay rushed to tell him but Louis
interrupted.
 
"He's gone mum, Harry's gone. He - he promised he would never leave me and he
did." Louis said finally accepting he was gone.
 
"Louis no...Harry's not - Harry's alive. He's still here...in a coma but he's
still here." Jay said running her fingers through Louis' hair.
 
"Please don't lie to me, he was being buried and I almost lost our baby trying
to stop them." Louis' bottom lip trembled as more tears rolled down his
temples.
 
"You must've been dreaming sweetheart because Harry's still alive...He did died
for a few minutes but after you passed out his heart started beating again.
They - they don't have an explanation for it but all that matters is that all
four of you are okay."
 
"You're not lying?" Louis mumbled.
 
"I would never lie to you baby, never."
 
"Could you - could you hug me...please." Louis said and as soon as he was in
her arms he cried louder feeling relieved that it had all been just a dream or
more like a nightmare. "I want to see him, mum please I want to see him." Louis
let go of her trying to get up.
 
"We have to wait until Dr. Lane tells you it's okay to get up, you hit the side
of your stomach when you fell and she just wants to make sure both of you are
okay." Jay calmly explained not wanting to upset him.
 
"What time is it? How did you find out I'm pregnant again?" Louis asked.
 
"It's ten in the morning. You slept the whole night and you left the ultrasound
picture and Harry's jacket behind...Anne and I saw it and Zayn told the doctors
you're pregnant." Jay said smiling a little.
 
"Everyone knows?" Louis asked as the sadness crept up to him because he wanted
Harry to be the first to know.
 
"Logan and your sisters don't know yet. We figured that once Harry wakes up and
you tell him both of you would want to tell Logan about her new brother or
sister."
 
"If he wakes up..." Louis muttered trying not to cry again.
 
"He'll wake up Lou, you'll see. He's a fighter and I don't think he'll break
the promise he made to you." Jay smiled kissing his forehead.
 
"How's Logan?"
 
"She's with Mark and Robin and Anne and Gemma are with Harry. She was crying
for you and Harry earlier today but Eleanor and the boys went to take care of
the dog and brought you clean clothes and a coloring book for her before they
left for work. Her doctor said if everything keeps going well she might be able
to go home tomorrow and you can go after your doctor makes sure you're okay."
Jay explained.
 
"No, I'm not going home until Harry does. You - you could watch her while I
stay here with him." Louis said set on staying.
 
"You know that's not possible Louis and you have to think about your kids, it
could be weeks before he wakes up again." Jay insisted.
 
"I don't want him to be alone or miss this pregnancy." Louis said accepting the
cup of water his mother handed him.
 
"He won't sweetheart."
 
After Dr. Lane had given him the okay and a new ultrasound picture Louis
immediately changed into clean clothes and went to see Harry getting annoyed
that he had to use a wheelchair. On the way there he noticed both Gemma and
Anne coming out of the room and after hugging them tight Gemma helped him
inside and left him alone with Harry to give him space and time alone with him.
Harry almost looked the same except that he was now hooked up to millions of
cables and still had the tube down his throat, he slowly got up to stand next
to him crying once again lightly stroking his cheek with his thumb.
 
"I - I thought I lost you Haz...it - it felt so real. You have to wake up...You
can't miss the birth of our baby. I forgive you Harry, I forgave you the moment
you came back out with her in your arms and now all you have to do is wake up
so we can be the proper family you've always wanted. The family I've always
wanted, don't think you're getting out of this one because you're stuck with
all three of us and I won't ever let you leave. Never." Louis carefully kissed
his forehead then grabbed Harry's hand placing it on his stomach underneath his
shirt. "There's isn't a bump there yet but there will be one soon and then
we'll be able to feel it kick in three months or so."
 
He stayed with him until noon talking to him about anything then Anne and Jay
forced him out to get something to eat and after he was done he went straight
to see Logan. From the door he could see she no longer had the oxygen mask on
and was sitting up on her knees to be able to reach her food while Mark had her
drink on his hands knowing she would spill it and Robin kept an eye on the IV
on her hand. He gently knocked on the door then walked in earning their
attention quickly going to his daughter when she tried to get up to go to him.
 
"Hi baby, how are you?" Louis asked her wrapping his arms around her kissing
her temple noticing her blanket and teddy bear by the pillow.
 
"Good. We all go home now?" Logan asked kissing his cheek then the tip of her
nose.
 
"Maybe tomorrow. Thanks for staying with her." Louis looked at his father and
Robin.
 
"You don't have to thank us Lou. How are you and the little one?" Mark asked
smiling a bit when Louis blushed.
 
"We're fine dad."
 
"You and Harry gave us a scare, first him and then you." Mark said getting up
to hug him.
 
"I know I know and I'm sorry...but I'm fine now and I think Harry will be too."
 
"I'm gonna go see him. I'm so glad you both are fine and can't wait to hold
it." Robin said gesturing to Louis' stomach then hugged him and Logan kissing
her forehead before he left.
 
"I miss my curly." Logan sighed reaching for her jello.
 
"I know baby but we'll get to see him soon." Louis kissed her forehead trying
to fix her curls.
 
"I was wrong about Harry...I thought he was going to leave you at some point
but after what he did I'm convinced he really does love both of you and that he
would do anything for you and her." Mark looked up at Louis. "I still think
what he did to you was wrong but I'm willing to really give him a chance now."
 
"I forgave him dad, I - I saw him die and I couldn't do anything to help him."
Louis confessed wiping a few tears then gave Logan a spoon taking the jello to
open it for her.
 
"Must've been hard for you but he's okay now and he'll wake up soon." Mark
gently squeezed his shoulder.
 
Louis nodded then turned to look at Logan trying to eat the cherry jello
smiling when she dropped a spoonful down to her lap and as he wiped it off he
hoped for Harry to wake up soon because this time he wouldn't be able to handle
him missing his pregnancy and the birth of their new baby he hoped was a boy
and who he couldn't wait to meet and have in his arms but this time with Harry
there for him and with him.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_meml8sDnk41r2bs3vo1_400_zps81f31d33.jpg]
      
      
      
      
     Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_meml8sDnk41r2bs3vo1_400_zps81f31d33.jpg
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** Yes I'm a sinner, yes I'm a saint* *****
Chapter Notes
     Please listen to the song. :)
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wugCgvJVIxM
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Louis rushed behind Harry trying to catch up to him as the green eyed and
cheerful thirteen year old boy ran to the hill just behind their houses only
stopping to wait for him. Once Louis caught up to him still panting from the
run Harry grabbed him by the hand and pulled him down with him rolling all the
way down laughing and trying not to let go of each other until they stopped and
stayed still next to each other looking up at the blue sky still holding hands.
"Haz?" Louis mumbled pushing the hair out of his eyes with his free hand.
"Yeah Lou?" Harry answered tightening his grip on the smaller boy's hand.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I don't know yet. What do you want to be when you grow up?" Harry asked
turning to look at Louis.
"I like painting and showing my sisters how to do it so maybe an art teacher."
Louis smiled widely, "You told me you like photography so maybe you could be a
photographer."
"Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Thanks Lou, you're the best." Harry smiled showing
the dimples Louis already loved so much because they meant Harry was happy and
if he was happy so was he.
Louis sighed remembering the happy days when both of them had nothing to worry
about other than what ice cream flavor they were going to get next or what
prank were they going to pull on Gemma to make her scream her head off. He took
a seat next to Harry's bed feeling well rested after he was forced to go back
to his flat and sleep while Gemma stayed the night with Logan and as soon as he
had woken up he took a shower and ate the breakfast his mum had prepared for
him. When he had gotten to the hospital that morning with his and Harry's
parents he was happy because Logan got to go home but couldn't help feeling sad
that Harry was still in a coma and had to stay behind, now that it was almost
six Logan had gone home with the rest earlier that day leaving him behind with
Harry until six thirty when visiting hours were over.
"Logan got to go home today love and we're just waiting for you to wake up so I
can take you home with me. We can talk about it when you wake up but I'm gonna
move some of your stuff to my flat because I don't want you to go back there on
your own, I hope you don't mind me going through your stuff." Louis smiled
kissing his hand.
He started with him telling him all about the things they had done and had
gotten in trouble for when they were younger then talked about all the things
they needed to get for their baby hoping for them to be blue instead of pink
then decided he didn't care as long as he or she was healthy.
"I have to go but I'll come see you tomorrow. I love you babe." Louis got up
kissing his forehead then after a pause lightly pecked his lips and left
feeling a lump in his throat for leaving him to spend the night alone once
again.
"Daddy! My curly with you?" Logan ran to Louis jumping up and down to be picked
up and once he did she looked over his shoulder while Anne gave her a sad look.
"Not yet sweety but soon he will and he's gonna give you a good cuddle and lots
of kisses." Louis smiled hugging her close to him rubbing her small back.
"And we watch movies and play all day?" Logan asked trying to rub his back too.
"Mhm." Louis smiled then kissed the side of her head that now smelled of
strawberries taking a seat next to Anne, "Thank you so much for watching her
Anne. Where's everybody else?"
"Gemma, Robin and Mark had to go back home for work and told me to tell you
they'll come see you in a few days. Jay is out grocery shopping, you're almost
out of food." Anne smiled wrapping an arm around Louis' shoulder just as he set
Logan down so she could keep coloring on her book.
"Yeah...Harry and I always go Sundays." Louis leaned into her side trying not
to cry again.
"He'll wake up soon love, you'll see and then he's gonna be here picking out
baby names for my new grandbaby. Have you thought of any names? I know it's a
bit early but have you?" Anne asked moving back to look at Louis who was now
smiling a little.
"If it's a girl I like Leighton and of course what Harry likes and...and if
it's a boy I want to name him what Harry has always wanted to name his son."
Louis looked down smiling.
"I remember. He always used to talk about it, its a beautiful name." Anne gave
him a one armed hug.
"I named her Hunter because it starts with an H and when we were younger I
promised him I would name my future child like that because it starts with the
same letter as his." Louis told her then hugged her when her eyes began
watering.
"And you kept your promise Lou, you always kept your promises and I'm sorry he
broke his own and if you ever forgive him-"
"I already did...A- Anne he died in front of me and then I dreamt we had to
bury him and I lost the baby, I forgave him when he got out of that building
holding her and I realized I can't live without him and I want us to raise our
kids like a proper happy family where no one has to forgive the other for wrong
past doings." Louis confessed.
That night Louis slept in Logan's room while Anne and his mother slept in his
bedroom not wanting to let Anne go to sleep at Harry's place all by herself
after everything she was doing for them. He spent the rest of the week staying
with Logan in the mornings while Anne visited Harry then going to see him until
later or until he had to go back home to eat, shower, sleep then get up the
next morning to do it all over again. Whenever he visited he always made sure
to tell him everything Logan did and tell him all the little messages she would
send to him and when it was time for him to go he would always grab Harry's
hand and place it over his now nine week belly aware that there wasn't a bump
yet but he still wanted Harry to feel it too. Now that he was pregnant again he
sometimes wondered what his life would've been like if Harry hadn't stopped him
that night when he was going to give himself to Jacob knowing he would still
have a kid but it wouldn't be Harry's child.
~*~
Louis remembered it well, he remembered how he had stayed quiet throughout the
whole way home staring down at Jacob's blood splattered all over his gray t-
shirt as Harry tightly gripped the steering wheel. He dared himself to look up
at Harry seeing his lips pressed into a tight thin line and eyebrows furrowed
in anger then his eyes traveled down to his bloody knuckles knowing what they
were capable of and what had they done to his boyfriend probably ex boyfriend
starting tomorrow. He felt sorry for Jacob knowing how hard Harry could hit
with the hands that once held his, the hands that once caressed his skin. He
looked out the window thinking that if Harry hadn't interrupted them, beat
Jacob up then dragged him by the arm out of his room and house then he would've
lost his virginity to Jacob but like always Harry had managed to interrupt
them.
"Get out...and you better go home." Harry said startling Louis who realized
they were in front of their houses, "Are you deaf? Get the fuck out of my car
and go home!"
"P- Please don't hurt h- him again...beat me all y- you want but leave Jake
alone." Louis stuttered then tried to get out of the car as fast as he could
when he saw anger and what he imagined was hurt crossing Harry's expression but
he had already locked the doors trapping him inside.
"Why should I listen to you, huh? You want me to leave him alone so he can fuck
you tomorrow and the day after that? Fucking answer me!" Harry yelled hating
the thought of Jacob touching his Louis.
"N- no, no one deserves that. He doesn't deserve all those punches." Louis
tried to hold back the tears.
"He does...and so do you!" Harry yelled grabbing Louis by the shirt pulling him
closer to him to where their lips were almost touching and Louis' eyes filled
with tears, "I'm not gonna let that ass hole touch you...you both disgust me."
"H- Harry...y- you're hurting m- me." Louis stuttered feeling his lips
trembling then the tears finally falling down his cheeks.
"Go home."
Harry pushed him away and Louis wasted no time getting out of the car and
running towards his house full speed never looking back, never seeing the hurt
flashing through Harry's face and the single tear rolling down his cheek much
less feeling the ache Harry felt in his chest and heart but couldn't do
anything about it terrified of being himself knowing what would happen.
~*~
The following Monday when Louis was almost ten weeks along and Harry still
showed no signs of waking up Anne and his mother had to go home for a few days
leaving him and Logan alone forcing him to only visit Harry half the time he
was used to. He used that time to spend more time with his daughter trying to
distract her away from Harry when she kept asking when was daddy going to
comeback then had cried and literally had a meltdown on the kitchen floor
wanting to know if he didn't love her anymore to which Louis quickly denied
telling her he loved her very much but couldn't be with them at the moment.
"It's been almost two weeks Harry...just please wake up. Please." Louis begged
holding onto his hand starting to get desperate.
He stayed by Harry's side never letting go of his hand while a therapist gently
exercised his legs to keep them from losing muscle mass even though he was
starting to as well as mobility when he felt it yet said nothing trying to keep
himself from hoping too much only to receive disappointment later on. He nearly
jumped out of his seat when he felt Harry lightly squeezing his hand trying to
figure out if he had imagined it because of his desperation.
"Is there something wrong Mr. Tomlinson?" The therapist asked covering Harry's
legs with the white bedsheets.
"He- He squeezed my hand...I swear he did." Louis said trying not to cry out of
happiness.
"I'll get Dr. Summers."
***
"Good news Louis." Dr. Summers said after examining Harry while Louis waited
sitting in one corner of the room.
"Is he gonna wake up soon?" Louis asked.
"He's starting to respond to stimuli and slowly come out of the coma, what you
felt was probably a muscle spasm due that he's trying to wake up. Make sure you
talk to him, he can probably hear you."
"Oh thank God."
Louis walked back to Harry's side and started talking to him again avoiding
talking about the baby not wanting to freak him out in case Harry could hear
him and remember it later on. Jay, Gemma and Anne had promised to get there as
soon as they could not wanting to miss it in case Harry woke up after Louis had
called them to tell them the good news going to bed that night to be well
rested to visit Harry again the next day.
~*~*~*~
Bright orange hot flames devouring everything on their path was all Harry could
see as he desperately searched for his and Louis' daughter trying to ignore the
heat and the smoke making his eyes sting and breathing difficult. He covered
his nose and mouth with his sleeves as he looked for her wherever he could
letting the tears roll down his cheeks not wanting to lose her, he had gone
four years without her, had missed her birth and wasn't and wouldn't let
himself and Louis go the rest of their lives without her.
"Logan! Baby its daddy!" Harry shouted going into a coughing fit then nearly
whispered the next words holding back a sob. "It's your curly, Logan..."
He pushed a chair out of the way just as he heard faint coughing coming from
under a table right in front of him then her faint cries calling for daddy then
her curly and without thinking or watching where he was going ran over to her
nearly screaming in pain when his cheek made contact with the flames trying to
get to her. He sobbed in relief when he saw her curled up under a table after
lifting the tablecloth and began coughing having inhaled more smoke without
meaning to.
"Daddy!" Logan sobbed reaching for him as he took his jacket off to cover her
up and keep her from inhaling more smoke.
"Shh...I'm here, I'm here baby. Daddy's gotcha, I gotcha and you're gonna be
okay." Harry kissed her forehead quickly wrapping the jacket around her
thankful that it was big enough to cover her entire body then picked her up
holding her close to his chest.
He coughed then tried to protect himself as much as he could desperately
looking for an exit tightening his grip on Logan who had a tight grip on his
shirt with her small fists then ran towards one of the exits wanting to cry
when the door didn't open. He turned around to look for another exit trying not
to panic and breathe too much already feeling his lungs burning realizing he
didn't have much time left when he started seeing less and less. He felt his
lips trembling with fear seeing no escape not wanting his baby girl to die a
horrible death along with him and leave Louis alone thinking he was a failure
who didn't fought enough to save her. He held in a scream when the flames got
too close burning his forearms as he scrambled away from them.
Tightening his grip he ran towards another door near the kitchen trying to open
it and hating himself for what he was about to do he set Logan down covering
her face with the jacket as she screamed not wanting to let go of him. He began
kicking the door trying to open it ignoring and not caring if he was breathing
in all the smoke when all he wanted was to get her out as soon as possible.
Once he heard the door cracking he kicked harder until he managed to break it
open then as fast as he could he picked her up and ran out of the building just
as he heard the windows shattering and saw big pieces of glass landing just
where they had been standing. He fell down to his knees with her still in his
arms trying to breathe as he coughed feeling agonizing pain on his cheek and
forearms making him want to vomit doing so when the zipper of the jacket made
contact with his forearm.
With shaky legs he got up and limped towards where he had left Louis when he
had run inside to get her still coughing and feeling dizzy and a headache
coming in. He could see Louis running up to them making him walk faster
ignoring the burning in his lungs until he couldn't breathe anymore slowly
asphyxiating then everything went darker and the only thing he could do was
tighten his grip on Logan not wanting to ever let her go again.
When he opened his eyes he found himself back in his childhood bedroom gasping
and feeling the tears streaming down his face when he saw them knowing it
wasn't real because as much as he wanted it that never had happened then let
out a sob realizing he was dead. He looked behind him seeing a bright white
light making him feel at peace with himself when a sinner like him shouldn't
feel peaceful at all then looked back to his bed where both eighteen year old
Louis and himself were sleeping with a tiny and beautiful baby girl and Louis'
head resting on his chest and his arms around both of them. He observed them
noticing how happy and relaxed both of them looked until he felt it was time
and slowly walked up to them and gently kissed the small baby who had her eyes
closed and eighteen year old Harry's index finger tightly in her tiny fist. He
whispered a small I love you then kissed Louis' forehead telling him how sorry
he was and how he would always love him before he backed away and turning
around he began walking into the light stopping when he heard them.
After countless times of him watching those videos Louis had given him he knew
he would recognize those cries if given the chance of hearing them in real life
and not caring he ran back towards the bed where he and Louis were now gone
having left her alone in the middle of the bed. He then picked her up feeling
his chest hurting with happiness when he finally got to feel her tiny body move
in his arms but out of nowhere he was back to holding four year old Logan as he
sank down to his knees and once again lost consciousness and that time for a
longer time.
~*~
His eyes slowly fluttered open only to close them again to avoid the harsh
bright light hearing an annoying beep and feeling something uncomfortable down
his throat and somebody holding his hand. He slowly moved his free hand around
searching for Logan who he was sure was still on top of his chest since he
never let go of her then his eyes widened and began to panic when he couldn't
feel her anywhere near him wanting to get up and look for her but unable to.
Louis had his head resting by Harry's hand holding onto it when he felt
movement and slowly lifted his head quickly sitting up when he saw Harry wide
awake looking around with frightened eyes and called for anyone when Harry
tried to get up trying to speak but no words would come out due to the tube he
had down his throat.
"Harry! Love you have to- you have to calm down." Louis desperately tried to
hold him down to keep him from hurting himself.
"L- Lo..." Harry tried to speak as his eyes began to sting with tears trying to
figure out where she was.
Louis began crying when Harry's heart rate started increasing feeling his hold
on his forearms tightening and his eyes filling with tears that rolled down to
his temples as he pleaded with his eyes.
"She's okay, Logan's okay." Louis nearly yelled trying to calm him down.
He let go of him when one of the male nurses held him down while a female one
injected what he guessed was a sedative into his IV then watched him as he
slowly closed his eyes still trying to reach for him until his hand went limp.
He was asked to leave the room so they could take the oxygen tube out and when
he was allowed back in he was no longer attached to the ventilator or had the
tube in, the only things left on him where the bandages where he had burned
himself knowing they weren't going to leave a scar after talking to Dr.
Summers. Louis kissed his forehead before stepping outside to call everybody to
tell them the great news then called Anna asking her if she could stay a little
bit longer with Logan telling her why happy that she quickly agreed.
The next time Harry woke up it was almost four hours later and just as he was
starting to panic he noticed Louis sitting on recliner next to his bed asleep
and holding his hand, he looked around trying to figure out how long he had
been asleep for since the fire seeing Louis wearing different clothes and the
sun high in the sky sneaking in through the blinds. Figuring out he had slept
the whole night and part of the day he moved his hands around noticing white
bandages on his forearms then lifted his hands up to touch his face feeling two
more on his cheek and temple.
"Harry? Harry!"
A crying Louis rushed to him and began running his fingers through his greasy
hair then moved to get water helping him drink small amounts until he couldn't
drink anymore. He was starting to get confused when Louis kept staring at him
like he couldn't believe he was there then swallowed a bit of saliva before he
began speaking flinching at how rough his voice sounded.
"Lou...Logan?" Harry asked reaching for Louis' hand wanting to know if she was
okay.
"She's okay, thanks to you she's okay and right now she's home with Anna."
Louis kissed his forehead.
"So soon? The- The fire was just last night and I thought they were going to-
to keep her here more time." Harry struggled to explain watching as Louis
swallowed rather nervously.
"Haz...what's- what's today's date?" Louis asked trying not to panic.
"Friday. The fire- the fire happened last night. Louis?" Harry answered
starting to get more confused.
"I'll explain but I need you to stay calm okay?" Louis said then began speaking
when Harry nodded, "That night you went into a- a coma then cardiac arrest and
I- I thought you were dead but you weren't...you've been in a coma for- for two
weeks." Louis explained waiting for Harry to freak out.
"But- but Logan's okay right?"
"Yeah she's fine...we were just waiting for you to wake up."
"Louis...why- why can't I move my legs?" Harry whispered as the tears began
rolling down his face.
"I'm gonna go get the doctor." Louis panicked running out of the room.
~*~
"Just what I thought. He lost some of the mobility on his legs due to the
carbon monoxide poisoning and lack of movement but with therapy he'll be back
to normal." Dr. Summers said making Louis' shoulders sag in relief.
"How long do you think it will take? I want to go home." Harry said shifting
around a bit.
"It all depends on you but we also have to keep you here for a few more days to
monitor your heart and make sure everything's okay."
"I'm okay, I want to go home." Harry stubbornly said.
"Harry...you can't go home yet." Louis sighed getting up to stand next to
Harry's bed.
"I don't want to be here anymore and I want to see Logan...Lou is been two
weeks and I just want to see her." Harry nearly begged grabbing his hand.
"If we're allowed I'll go get her so you can see her but you have to stay
here." Louis said moving Harry's long hair out of his forehead.
After Dr. Summers agreed Louis left to get Logan leaving Harry getting a bit
cleaned up, on his way home he called Anne and Jay as well as his friends to
tell them he was fully awake now then called Anna to ask her to get Logan
ready. He picked her up without telling where they were going making sure to
pack a bag with her blanket, water, a few toys and snacks in case she got
hungry while she carried her teddy bear in one arm holding hands with Louis who
after that night always held her hand tighter preventing her from letting go.
"Where we going daddy?" Logan asked recognizing the hospital hallways.
"It's a surprise baby." Louis smiled down at her then picked her up as soon as
they were outside Harry's new room and lightly knocked on the door hearing a
muffled 'come in' before he opened the door.
By the looks of it someone had helped him take a shower and the only thing he
had left on was the IV and the bandages yet he still looked a bit pale and
tired, he watched his smile getting bigger but soon disappeared when Logan hid
her face on the crook of Louis' neck holding onto him tighter wrapping her legs
around his waist and arms around his neck.
"It's daddy, he wants to give you hug and lots of kisses. Didn't you say you
wanted to cuddle him." Louis tried to get her to come out then settled for
putting her down on the bed next to Harry seeing the pout on her lips telling
him she was going to cry then Harry quickly hugged her thankful that she was
okay tightening his grip when she burst out crying.
"Don't cry baby, I love you...daddy loves you so much." Harry kissed her
forehead over and over again while she stared at the bandages with wide green/
blue eyes.
"Daddy!" She cried grabbing Harry's hospital grown with her small hands letting
go of her bear.
"Don't cry bug it's okay, we're okay." Harry smiled pulling Louis into the hug.
"You want to play with me?" She innocently asked reaching for her bag grabbing
Kelly and Valerie.
"I would love to." Harry smiled taking the usual doll.
After Louis had ordered something light for Harry to eat and food for Logan and
himself and spending more time with him he wanted to tell him about the baby
but decided to do it once he was home in the privacy of their bedroom then left
promising to come back the next day. The next two weeks were a blur for Louis
who found himself already at twelve weeks and showing a bit worried that Harry
would notice something was different, he tried to hide the tiny bump that
happened to be a bit bigger than it had been at twelve weeks when he was
pregnant with Logan but it was getting difficult since Harry liked to rest his
head on it and wrap his arms around him.
Two days after Harry had come out of the coma Anne, Gemma, and Robin had
visited spending the whole day with him after Anne had cried refusing to let
him go bringing Logan into the hug happy and thankful that she still had her
babies trying not to talk about the new baby. Liam and Eleanor had visited a
day after that surprisingly holding hands until Liam let go of her to hug Harry
for ten minutes straight scolding him and telling him to never ever do that to
him again which to Harry responded by hugging him again. When Niall and Zayn
visited later that day it had been going great until Zayn asked Harry if they
could talk alone and Louis was forced to leave them alone even if he didn't
want to, a few minutes later they were allowed back in and later that day after
the couple were gone Harry explained to Louis that all Zayn wanted was to thank
him for saving his cupcake.
The days after that Harry spent them in therapy trying to move his legs again
and build muscle mass until he started walking slowly but on his own, the
bandages were finally removed leaving a bit of scarring but he was told that
with the right care they would go away soon. Harry wished he could go back home
with them every time visiting hours were over since every time they had to go
Logan would always throw a fit wanting to stay with Harry and go night night
with him. The day Harry got to go home Louis was excited and a nervous mess
while cleaning the house scolding Logan for making a mess where he had just
cleaned, and since that was the day Harry would know he was going to be a
father again it wasn't helping. As soon as he had arrived at the hospital he
left Logan with Harry and excused himself telling him he had to go talk to Dr.
Summers but he only wanted a new ultrasound picture to be able to tell Harry
they were expecting again and after Dr. Lane gave it to him wishing him good
luck he made his way back to pick them up.
~*~
"Welcome back." Louis smiled opening the door to his flat after explaining to
Harry that there was no way he would go back to his flat all alone and that he
had already moved the necessary things he would need over to his.
"Finally." Harry smiled back sitting down on the couch wrapping his arms around
Logan after she had climbed on his lap to cuddle him like she had promised on
the way back.
"Are you hungry? I can make you something light to eat." Louis asked sitting
next to him.
"No thank you, I'm not hungry yet." Harry said resting his head on his shoulder
while Louis stared down at his tiny delicate bump knowing that since it was his
second pregnancy he was going to start showing earlier.
"Something wrong?" Harry asked wrapping an arm around him.
"I just missed you...that's all." Louis said fighting hard not to cry but ended
up crying his eyes out. Damn hormones, he thought.
"Daddy no crying." Logan yawned snuggling closer to Harry reaching to wipe
Louis' tears away with her thumb while Harry kissed his temple.
"I'm okay baby. Ready to go to bed?" Louis asked getting ready to take her to
bed deciding to skip the bath since it had been a long day and she looked ready
to pass out.
"Night daddies, love you." Logan mumbled as soon as she was in bed.
"Night sweety, I love you more." Louis kissed her forehead waiting for Harry.
"Night bug and I love you too." He smiled kissing her hand then turned off the
light following Louis back to his bedroom.
After Harry was already in bed waiting for Louis he quickly changed into
sweatpants and a loose t-shirt then brushed his teeth grabbing the ultrasound
picture from his jacket on the way out. He smiled when Harry opened his arms
for him as soon as he saw him and slowly got on the bed next to him facing him
and his stomach pressed up against Harry's hoping for him to feel the bump.
Harry only kissed him then whispered a tiny goodnight before going to sleep
waking up when Louis turned around to turn on the light and grabbed the picture
then stayed on his back studying it.
"What's that?" Harry asked placing a hand on Louis' stomach underneath his t-
shirt gently rubbing small circles.
"Take a look." Louis smiled giving him the picture watching as he smiled
widely.
"Is it Logan's?" He asked looking at the picture smiling until he saw the year
printed as 2014 and not 2010 noticing it was also today's date.
He froze when he felt the small bump underneath his hand then began moving his
hand around feeling it was hard then took a deep breath preparing himself to
ask what he already knew looking at Louis in shock.
"Lou...are you- are you pregnant?"
"Y- yeah." Louis nodded chewing on his bottom lip.
"Twelve weeks? All this time you've been pregnant and you never told me. Oh
God..." Harry said in disbelief taking one more look at the picture.
"I found out four weeks ago and I was going to tell you that day at the
restaurant but I couldn't." Louis explained then began crying when Harry
struggled to get up.
"Harry? Harry where are you going you can't leave me now. You promised." Louis
cried then stopped when Harry walked over to the side of his bed and knelt down
next to him and carefully lifted his shirt up getting on eye level with his
stomach.
"Is it okay? It's not hurt is it?" Harry whisper asked.
"It's completely healthy and strong." Louis answered watching as Harry looked
at it in wonder as his eyes filled with tears then a watery smile began making
an appearance getting bigger and bigger.
"Hi baby, you don't know me yet...I'm Harry. I'm your other daddy, you probably
can't hear me yet...Lou can the baby hear me?" Harry asked looking up at Louis
with wide curious eyes.
"Not yet babe." Louis chuckled running his fingers through Harry's curls making
him look younger after getting a haircut.
"Doesn't matter if you can't hear me yet baby, I just want you to know that I
love you already and can't wait to hold you. Hopefully I won't drop you." Harry
smiled kissing the tiny bump he already was so in love with, "You have no idea
how happy I am Lou."
"You're not mad then?" Louis asked in a small voice.
"Of course not, I thought I wasn't ready but now that she's in there all warm
and comfortable I can't wait to meet her." Harry lay down next to him kissing
him and began rubbing their bump rather lovingly.
"She? You think it's a girl?" Louis asked.
"I have a feeling but it doesn't matter, we're all gonna love him or her so
much and Logan's gonna be the best big sister ever." Harry beamed with
happiness.
"If it's a girl can we name her Leighton?" Louis pouted.
"Leighton...Leighton Grace?" Harry also pouted making Louis' heart melt.
"Anything you want." Louis pecked his lips.
"And if it's a boy?"
"Evan." Louis smiled seeing how Harry's face turned into one of surprise.
"You still remember how I've always wanted to name our son?" Harry smiled.
"Our?" Louis raised his eyebrows in confusion.
"I told you I wanted to name him Evan but I didn't tell you I wanted to adopt a
baby boy after marrying you and now we don't need to adopt." Harry blushed.
"Y- You wanted to marry me and adopt a baby since you were fourteen?" Louis
started tearing up again.
"Yeah...I already had our whole wedding planned out Spider-Man themed but
then...that happened." Harry looked down and when Louis saw his lips trembling
he couldn't hold it anymore.
"I forgive you, I forgave you that night of the fire when I thought I had lost
you." Louis confessed making Harry let out a sob.
"N- No you didn't, you- " Harry was interrupted by Louis' lips on his own.
"I did, I know you love me, you love our kids and you're not gonna hurt me
again so please believe me. Please." Louis pleaded.
Harry looked into his sincere blue eyes that were no longer cold and icy but
warm and full of life and love then saw it on his face and knew Louis would
never lie to him, he took a deep breath and slowly nodded feeling some of the
heavy weight being lifted off of his shoulders.
"I love you angel...thank you." He whispered kissing his temple smiling when
Louis kissed his hand and that's all he needed to do for Harry to know he loved
him too. All his life and more.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1398816814755_zps6844fcd7.jpg]
      
      
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
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     Sorry for the late update guys, I hope you liked this chapter.
     Thoughts? :)
***** My heart, your heart sit tight like book ends *****
Chapter Notes
     This was going to be updated last night but my mom turned the WiFi
     off and I couldn't finish it. This is mostly dialogue but I hope you
     like it. Enjoy! :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
That Saturday morning Louis slowly opened his eyes hearing the faint cries
coming from Logan's room and as fast as he could he got up untangling Harry's
arms from around his stomach where his baby bump was fully exposed. He rubbed
his eyes and walked out of his room and into Logan's seeing the dog sleeping
under the bed and Logan sitting at the foot of the bed crying her eyes out and
a wet patch on the mattress where she had been sleeping. He looked at her clock
on top of her dresser groaning because it was still four in the morning and now
that she was awake there was no way she would want to go back to sleep ever
since the fire happened and now he had to wash the bedsheets for the second
time that week. Without saying anything he gently took her pajama bottoms off
then her shirt before he picked her up shushing her and kissing her forehead
grabbing her towel on his way to the bathroom to give her a bath. Once it was
ready he began to clean her up relaxing at the fact that her bed had a
waterproof pad after his mother recommended he start using one as soon as she
was potty trained and had ditched the diapers, he tried to hurry up to dress
her up and leave her with Harry so he could wash her bedsheets and clean up.
 
"Why are you giving her a bath this early?" Harry mumbled from the door half
asleep and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes startling Louis.
 
"She wet the bed and she didn't take a bath last night so I might as well do it
now, this is the second time it happens." Louis explained rinsing off the
shampoo suds from her hair.
 
"I'll go clean it up." Harry walked to her bedroom before Louis could say
something else.
 
By the time Logan was comfortable and warm in a new pair of pajamas Harry had
the dirty bedsheets in the washer and new ones all set up so she could go back
to sleep but as soon as Louis set her down on it she began crying again pulling
on his shirt wanting to be picked up again not stopping until he did. With her
wrapped around him like a koala he walked back to his bedroom followed by Harry
who made sure to put some softener on the bedsheets before laying down next to
them with her in the middle still clinging to Louis letting out tiny hiccups
here and there.
 
"This is the second time she does it?" Harry asked fixing the damp curls on the
back of her head.
 
"Yeah, she did it Monday and now today." Louis answered kissing her hand.
 
"Why didn't you say anything, what if it's because of the fire...we need to
take her to a psychologist." Harry began to panic wrapping his arms over both
of them.
 
"Let's wait a bit and if it doesn't stop then we'll take her."
 
"Okay. Hey...when's your next appointment? I want to go with you and see our
little peanut." Harry smiled so big his face might split in two.
 
"In a month, like around my sixteenth or seventeenth week. So it's our little
peanut now?" Louis asked grabbing his hand intertwining their fingers together.
 
"That's so far away from now." Harry pouted making Louis chuckle. "and yup,
it's our little peanut now. I just decided last night."
 
"Mkay then. She's asleep again so we should sleep too." Louis closed his eyes
opening them again when he heard Harry gasping.
 
"Lou, where's the baby going to sleep?"
 
"Well...when Logan was born I bought one of those baby bassinets and she slept
in there next to my bed then after that I bought a crib doing the same
arrangement, we slept in the same room until she was two and I moved out with
her into our own flat. I think that's what I'm gonna do with this one and that
way we'll be close if peanut needs something." Louis explained feeling Harry's
warm hand resting on his stomach.
 
"What about when it gets older." Harry asked.
 
"What about it?" Louis asked confused.
 
"Where's peanut going to sleep?"
 
"Harry I think you're thinking way ahead, I mean, we don't even know the sex
yet or a specific due date."
 
"Yeah I know but just hear me out okay. I know it's way too soon and its okay
if you don't want to but I think we should get a bigger place...like an actual
house big enough for us and a big backyard." Harry slowly said waiting for
Louis to say something.
 
"You want us to move in together into a new house? What about your flat or this
one?" Louis asked.
 
"We sell them." Harry shrugged then continued when Louis said nothing. "We
could wait a few years after peanut's born but just imagine all that space
Logan's gonna have and she will actually be able to ride a bike...cause I kind
of already got her one."
 
"Harry Styles you got her a bike without telling me? Please tell me you at
least got her one for her age and with training wheels, she's never used a bike
in her life." Louis said wanting to get up to look at Harry but half of Logan's
body was on top of him.
 
"It's for her age and I also bought all the necessary stuff for her to safely
ride it, I just want her to have fun not decapitate her." Harry said.
 
"Harry!" Louis smacked him on the side before Harry could stop him.
 
"I was joking babe, you know I'll never let anything bad happen to her or the
baby."
 
"I know. I'm tired...let's just hope she stops." Louis sighed then a few
minutes later they were both asleep.
 
Two weeks later Louis was already at fourteen weeks and just kept getting
bigger and bigger making it more noticeable leaving strangers with no doubt
that he was pregnant and his increased appetite wasn't helping at all. He had
quit modeling and doing photoshoots for the time being telling Eric that maybe
he was going to return once he was back in shape but wasn't sure since raising
two kids was not an easy thing to do. He felt it was time to tell Logan she was
going to be a big sister when he was trying to grab something from one of the
top shelves in the closet and his shirt pulled up a little showing his
protruding belly. When he looked back at her he caught her staring at it with
curious eyes trying to figure out what was wrong with it. He also felt it was
necessary for him and Harry to choose their words carefully so they wouldn't
scare her since she would still wet the bed but not as often as she used to
ever since she had started going to a psychologist who had told them that her
accidents were a result of the trauma she had gone through. That Sunday morning
after they were done eating their breakfast he and Harry sat her down in the
living room to tell her the great news.
 
"We have to tell you something love, they're great news." Louis began then
continued when she gave him a blank look. "Remember when you told us you wanted
a baby brother or sister?"
 
"Mhm, I want a baby brother like Cassandra." Logan nodded playing with the hem
of her skirt.
 
"Well...right now there's a baby growing inside my tummy and he or she will be
here by the time Santa comes." Louis explained as he and Harry waited for any
kind of reaction.
 
"How did it get in there? Why can't it come out now?" Logan asked with wide
eyes.
 
"It's still too little and needs to get bigger and stronger so it can come out
and meet you." Harry explained from where he was sitting on the coffee table
next to Louis and in front of Logan.
 
"But how did it get in there?" Logan insisted looking down at Louis' stomach.
 
"Well when two adults like daddy and I love each other so much they're able to
create a baby, we love each other so much we made a baby inside my tummy."
Louis explained hoping for it to be enough for her not wanting to talk to her
about sex just yet.
 
"What's it doing in there? Daddy what if the baby's lonely and its dark in
there." Logan gasped pouting a bit.
 
"The baby's safe and happy in there love, it's probably sleeping right now so
don't you worry. You can touch it, it's okay." Louis smiled when she kept
looking at it.
 
"I know! I can look at it through your belly button." Logan exclaimed getting
down on her knees lifting Louis' shirt up.
 
"I'm afraid you can't bug, we gotta wait until it comes out." Harry smiled.
 
"Is it gonna poop and sleep all day long?" Logan asked drawing out the 'all'
while she gently rubbed Louis' tummy.
 
"It will sleep a lot when it first gets here." Louis confirmed.
 
"Love you bubbie."
 
Both Louis and Harry's hearts warmed up at her first words to get baby brother
or sister watching as she repeatedly kissed the baby bump she was already so in
love with.
 
"We should go to the park." Harry announced earning cheers from Logan who got
up and threw herself at him trying to wrap her arms around his waist but
settled with grabbing the sides of his shirt.
 
"Okay but let me go change out of this." Louis said gesturing to his sweatpants
and Harry's t-shirt. "Is it hot outside?"
 
"Not really but wear a thin jacket, don't want you getting sick."
 
Harry changed Logan into a long sleeved shirt and comfortable pants since he
was planning on teaching her how to ride her new bike Toy Story themed he had
gotten from the boys section at the toy store. He remembered how the woman who
had sold her the bike had looked at him weird when he told her 'Logan' was his
daughter and not his son then had offered to show him the princess bikes to
which he politely declined saying he had already picked the one he wanted. He
started getting worried when Louis was taking more than usual to change clothes
leaving Logan to entertain herself with Buttercup while he went to check on him
finding him sitting at the foot of the bed wiping his tears away with his
sleeves and all the jeans he owned thrown around on the bed or on the floor.
 
"Lou what's wrong? Why aren't you dressed yet?" Harry asked kneeling down in
front of him.
 
"They're all too tight...those stupid jeans won't fit anymore." Louis' voice
trembled as well as his lips before he burst out crying again.
 
"Don't cry, I'm pretty sure we can find a pair that fits you." Harry tried to
make him feel better since it was half his fault, he looked around trying to
choose a pair.
 
"What part of they don't fit anymore don't you understand Harold! I already
tried them all on and they're too tight, I'm getting too fat already and I'm
not even halfway there." Louis complained looking like it was the end of the
world.
 
"Maybe you're just bloated, I read it happens because of all the hormones and
you're not fat okay. You look perfect and you're growing our baby." Harry said
wiping his cheeks clean of tear tracks.
 
"You've been reading about pregnancy?" Louis asked then burst out crying again
when Harry nodded. "I am fat Harry, I wasn't this big when I was pregnant with
Logan around this time."
 
"Maybe this baby is bigger than her. C'mon love let's find you something to
wear." Harry kissed him then grabbed his hand guiding him towards the closet
where half of it was filled with his clothes.
 
Louis ended up wearing one of Harry's own basketball shorts and a long sleeved
shirt not wanting it to feel too tight and uncomfortable then after grabbing
one of the leftover pancakes they made their way to Harry's car while Louis ate
it cold seeing Logan's new bike on the back while Harry buckled her up putting
the dog next to her. As soon as they got to the park Logan squealed in delight
when she saw her brand new bike hugging Harry knocking her head against his
stomach then Louis more gently not wanting to hurt her bubbie while giving them
a billion thank you's and kisses.
 
"Are you gonna take off the training wheels today?" Louis asked taking a seat
on a bench while Harry picked her up to help her sit on it.
 
"Not today, I think when she's more familiar with it and a little bit older."
Harry smiled then bent down a little too put her helmet on and tell her what to
do. "You have to put your feet on the pedals and pedal like those kids so it
moves."
 
After a few tries Logan finally got it down and began riding her bike in
circles around Harry while Louis managed to buy a chocolate and strawberry
sundae eating it while he sat back down laughing when Logan ran over one of
Harry's foot with one of the training wheels. He would feed her ice cream every
time she would pass by then leaned his head on Harry's shoulder when he took a
seat next to him also feeding him then would move it to let Harry go after
Logan every time she would go too far and not listen whenever Harry would call
her back.
 
"Let go, daddy I won't go far. I promise." Logan whined trying to pry Harry's
hand off of the bike.
 
"That's what you said last time and didn't listen, you have to stay close where
I can see you or you don't get to ride it anymore. Got it?" Harry said letting
go of the bike after she nodded.
 
"That was...so not you." Louis said fixing Harry's hair with his hand as soon
as he had sat down next to him making him sigh and rest his head on his chest.
 
"I just don't want her to go too far away...someone could take her and I'm
scared I won't get there on time to stop it." Harry wrapped his arm over Louis'
stomach careful not to squeeze too hard.
 
"No one's gonna take her."
 
"You don't know that Lou." Harry mumbled then began talking to the baby in a
silly baby voice making Louis' heart fill with happiness and love. "Good thing
you're gonna be in there for a while or I'll have to chase you around too like
your sister." He kissed it before sitting up straight wrapping his arm around
Louis' waist rubbing small circles on Louis' side with his index finger.
 
"Zayn, Niall." Louis waved the couple over who was walking hand in hand.
 
"Hey guys. Where's my cupcake?" Zayn asked looking around for her.
 
"She's over there riding the new bike Harry got her." Louis smiled looking at
Logan as both Zayn and Niall followed his gaze.
 
"I didn't know they have Toy Story themed bikes in the girls section...That's
nice." Zayn smiled at Harry.
 
"They don't, I got it from the boys section. Should've seen the seller trying
to convince me to take a princess bike instead of that one when I told her
Logan was my daughter and not my son." Harry smirked getting ready to get up
seeing Logan getting too far away from them.
 
"Why didn't you just got her the princess one?" Louis asked.
 
"It was too pink. Logan get back here." Harry shouted then got up running
towards her when she looked back at him, giggled then continued pedaling away
from him going faster the closer Harry got to her laughing her head off.
 
"That's hilarious." Niall laughed taking Harry's seat next to Louis.
 
"That was her last chance, wait till she comes back crying 'cause he won't let
her ride it anymore." Louis sighed placing a hand over his protruding belly.
 
"Aww look at you Lou! How far along are you, when's your next appointment?"
Niall asked smiling bigger when he placed his hand on it next to Louis'
noticing how he didn't freaked out like he used to back then when someone would
touch what he would call 'his mistake'.
 
"Around fourteen weeks and in two more weeks." Louis answered smiling down
while he rubbed it missing Niall and Zayn smiling at each other.
 
"Is Harry going with you?" Zayn asked.
 
"Yeah...He wants us to move in together into a new house." Louis confessed
wanting their opinions.
 
"What did you say?" Zayn asked giving him his full attention as well as Niall.
 
"I started talking about the bike, you know, try to steer the conversation
somewhere else. I agree with him that once the baby gets here we won't have
enough space in either his or my flat and it would be nice to have a big
backyard for them to play in but I - I don't know, I want us to move in
together but it's a big step." Louis chewed on his bottom lip watching Harry
scolding Logan while she pouted.
 
"What are you really afraid of? What's stopping you?" Niall asked.
 
"And not beating around the bush Tomlinson, we know you and we're your friends
who love you no matter what." Zayn added waiting for him to start talking.
 
"I'm afraid he'll get tired of me and leave me, you both know I'm not exactly
the best to be around when I'm pregnant and I'm scared he won't like that side
of me and leave me." Louis fiddled with a loose thread on Harry's shirt trying
to swallow the lump forming in his throat.
 
"If you haven't noticed he's completely head over heels in love with you and
totally whipped mate so trust me when I tell you he's not gonna leave you and
if he does which I know he won't I'll rip his balls off and make him eat them.
And every pregnancy is different Lou, it was a whole different situation then
than it is now so you don't know what you're gonna be like or what to
expect...all we know is that in five or so more months you'll have a new baby."
Zayn said wrapping his arms around his shoulders.
 
"All I know is that I'm already getting fat and I'm bigger than I was with
Logan. Don't you both think so?" Louis asked twisting his stomach sideways to
give them a better look.
 
"You look fine and about permanently moving in with Harry just go with what you
feel is right." Niall adviced.
 
"Okay...when are you both getting married? You never told us a date." Louis
asked changing the subject.
 
"In eight months...January so that way you won't be pregnant by then." Zayn
smiled.
 
"Oh my God thank you, I was afraid I was gonna have to be the whale in the
pictures." Louis sighed in relief.
 
"And we also decided to not have any kids until after the wedding, we actually
want to enjoy our honeymoon." Niall continued noticing Logan running to them.
 
"I'll still carry it for you, you'll just have to wait until I pop this one
out." Louis smiled.
 
"We're gonna try it first and if it doesn't work then I'll take you up on that
offer." Niall gave him a one arm hug.
 
"Uncle Niall, uncle Zayn I'm gonna have a bubbie!" Logan shouted running up to
them while Harry walked behind her pulling on the bike and holding the helmet
in his other hand.
 
"You are?" Zayn faked surprise picking her up to give her a big kiss and hug.
 
"Yes, his name is bubbie." Logan nodded.
 
"He?" Niall asked getting up to sit next to Zayn leaving the seat for Harry.
 
"She's set on a boy." Louis explained resting his head on Harry's shoulder.
 
"Don't you want a baby sister?" Niall asked her kissing the side of her head.
 
"No, I want a bubbie." Logan pouted.
 
"But it might not be a bubbie cupcake, it might be a baby girl like you." Zayn
tapped her nose trying to make her understand.
 
"We give her back and ask for a bubbie." Logan shrugged as if it was the
easiest thing in the world.
 
"That's not possible...if you get a baby sister you have to keep her and love
her, same if you get a bubbie but we don't know yet which one is going to be."
Zayn explained.
 
"It's a bubbie." Logan said kissing his cheek and Niall's then then got down to
roughly pet Buttercup who had been sleeping next to Louis' feet only waking up
when a stranger would get too close to him.
 
"So stubborn." Zayn chuckled.
 
"What do you two want?" Niall asked them.
 
"Whatever's fine." Both Louis and Harry answered at the same time then began
laughing.
 
"I know it's a bubbie too." Logan cooed shaking Buttercup's paw.
 
"I'm worried she's gonna hate it if it's not a boy." Louis sighed.
 
"She'll love her so don't worry." Harry kissed his temple observing her.
 
After spending almost all day in the park they finally headed home after Niall
and Zayn had left stopping on the way to buy Chinese but ended up getting tacos
and nachos when Louis suddenly changed his mind and insisted that that's what
he and the baby wanted finding out Harry's weakness. By the time they got home
Louis had finished the nachos then continued eating the two small tacos sitting
on the couch in between Harry's legs watching Frozen and by the end of the
movie he was a crying mess while Harry kissed the tears away and Logan was
minutes away from falling asleep next to them still holding a taco.
 
"Harry?" Louis mumbled ignoring that it was two in the morning and Harry was a
heavy sleeper and was sleeping with his mouth wide open. "Harry wake up!" He
shook him watching him jump out of bed grabbing a shoe.
 
"What!? Are you okay?" Harry groggily asked looking around for any intruders.
 
"Yeah I'm fine." Louis raised his eyebrows. "Comeback to bed."
 
"You need something?" Harry yawned crawling back in bed snuggling close to
Louis.
 
"No...I was...I was just wondering if you - if you still want to find a house
and move in together." Louis finished taking a deep breath at the end.
 
"Only if you want to, I don't want to pressure you into doing something you
don't want." Harry mumbled against his neck.
 
"But you still want to?" Louis asked afraid of hearing a no.
 
"Yeah I do."
 
"Okay. So...when do we start looking?" Louis asked.
 
"Really?" Harry sat up.
 
"Yeah, I think a big backyard would be nice. We should start looking before
peanut gets here and Logan starts school this fall." Louis smiled resting his
head on Harry's chest as soon as he laid back down.
 
"We'll start looking...tomorrow..." Harry yawned falling back asleep after
Louis.
 
As Louis' next appointment got closer and closer Harry only grew more anxious
and had freaked out when Louis' nose started bleeding out of nowhere only
calming down when Dr. Lane explained it was due to increased blood volume and
sensitive nasal passages. Since Harry had been reading about pregnancy week by
week his eyes had widened at one of the symptoms then had slowly closed the lid
of his laptop that somehow was always sticky no matter how many times he
cleaned it after Logan would use it. He forgot ever having read that when
everything continued like it normally did.
 
"Are you a hundred percent sure this isn't gonna hurt the baby?" Harry asked
worried.
 
"Dr. Lane said it was okay. Harry...I'm desperate here." Louis whined pushing
back rolling his eyes when Harry moved away from him.
 
"Okay okay. Are you ready?"
 
"I was ready two hundred years ago Harold. Hurry u - oh my God fuck yes." Louis
moaned enjoying how much better it felt without a condom after convincing Harry
there was no point in using one when he was already knocked up.
 
To Louis a sudden increased sex drive had arrived at the perfect time since
Logan was out eating with Liam and Eleanor. He was fully naked on his elbows
and knees as Harry slowly pushed into him actually enjoying him going slow. He
let out a loud moan followed by a few choice of words when Harry changed his
angle brushing against his prostate trying to make it enjoyable for Louis even
though he was slightly freaked out at the thought of their baby going through
all of that. After a few minutes he forgot about it when Louis convinced him
the baby didn't know what was going on then took Louis' cock in his right hand
stroking him until he came burying his face on the pillow while he continued
thrusting into him while holding him up to keep him from falling on his tummy
until he came them pulled out moving Louis on his side laying down next to him.
 
"I'm hungry." Louis mumbled turning around to rest his head near Harry's where
he quickly wrapped his arms around him kissing his forehead and feeling his
baby bump on his hip.
 
"What do you want to eat?" Harry asked reaching for a small towel to clean
Louis and himself up.
 
"Nachos."
 
"Louis you need to eat something healthy like fruit. You want fruit?" Harry
tried to make him change his mind.
 
"Fruit has sugar on it Harry. I want - no, scratch that, the baby and I want
nachos with extra jalapenos and make sure they're spicy because last time they
were sweet." Louis ordered kissing Harry's neck to convince him.
 
"Okay fine, I'll be right back." Harry got out of bed kissing Louis then his
tummy then after cleaning himself up and putting fresh clothes on he headed out
to buy the food.
 
~*~
 
"I'm excited, are you excited we're gonna go see bubbie on that special screen
I told you about?" Harry asked Logan as he brushed then fixed her curls putting
a headband on.
 
"Yeah. Is bubbie gonna see us too daddy?" She asked turning around trying to
fix his hair too.
 
"No bug, bubbie doesn't get to see us yet." Harry kissed her nose when she
pouted making her smile.
 
"You both ready, we're gonna be late." Louis walked by stopping at the front
door then headed out.
 
****
 
"Daddy I'm thirsty." Logan whined for the second time resting half her body on
Louis' lap pressing her cheek on his stomach.
 
"You just had water, wait till after we see bubbie." Louis picked her up
setting her down on his lap.
 
"When do we see bubbie? Daddy I don't have his time." Logan sighed.
 
"Louis Tomlinson?" A nurse called them in just as he was about to answer her
question.
 
"We're gonna go see bubbie now." Harry smiled grabbing her hand following
Louis.
 
After checking his vitals they were told to wait a few minutes and that Dr.
Anderson, the ultrasound technician would be there shortly making Logan huff in
annoyance leaning against Harry's chest finding it comfortable while that last
name reminded Louis of someone snapping back to reality when he heard a knock
on the door.
 
"Hello, I'm Dr. Ande - Louis?"
 
"Jacob!?" Louis looked up in surprise at the now grown man and ex boyfriend
standing in front of him who was checking his file as if to make sure he had
the right patient.
 
"Hi...how have you been? Wow, look at you!" Jacob smiled motioning to Louis'
belly until he noticed Harry holding a child - his and Louis' child.
 
"I've been great." Louis smiled.
 
"Nice to see you again Harry."
 
"Yeah you too." Harry said tightening his grip on Logan when Jacob laid eyes on
her.
 
"And what's your name sweety?" Jacob crouched down in front of her smiling.
 
"Logan." She shyly answered sucking on her thumb leaning closer to Harry.
 
"That's a very pretty name just like you. How old are you?" He asked again
watching how she looked up at Harry completely enamored waiting for him to tell
him never taking her thumb out of her mouth.
 
"She just turned four February fourteen." Harry told him cupping the back of
her head with his hand.
 
"Oh...I thought she would be younger." Jacob simply answered moving away from
her never taking his eyes off of her.
 
Louis looked down at his hands knowing Jacob had done the math, had realized
she had been conceived just a week after their break up and when he looked up
it was too see Harry looking back at him with a guilty expression and Jacob
preparing the ultrasound machine chewing on his bottom lip.
 
"Could you lay down and lift your shirt up please. All I'm gonna do is check
the baby's heartbeat and make sure everything's alright, I also have to take an
extensive medical history of both of you as well as do some tests for any
possible genetic disorders or diseases. That's all I'm gonna do, Dr. Lane will
be in charge of the rest and I'll just check for any abnormalities every time
you come for your check ups." Jacob explained while Louis carefully laid down
and lifted his shirt up displaying his baby bump for everyone to see seeing
Harry sitting closer to him with Logan still in his arms.
 
"It's gonna be a bit cold." Jacob said then focused his attention on the
screen. "There it is...It's about 4.6 inches long and weighs 3.5 ounces which
is very good."
 
Trying to ignore Jacob's presence Harry grabbed Louis' hand tearing up when he
saw his baby moving on the screen for the very first time and when a fast
thumping sound filled the room he kissed Louis' hand rubbing small circles on
it whispering to Logan that those were her bubbie's heartbeats all three of
them never taking their eyes off of the screen.
 
"Daddy that's my bubbie?" Logan asked Louis poking his hand.
 
"Yeah love." Louis smiled looking at her then at Harry who mouthed an I love
you to him.
 
"We'll be able to tell the sex on your next visit and your baby is completely
healthy and based on how far along your are and the size and weight of the
fetus I estimate a due date by November twenty. I'll get a few pictures for you
after I get your medical history and both of you get those tests done."
 
"Okay...do you have to get my medical history, Dr. Lane was my doctor four
years ago and she already had all my information." Louis asked getting off of
the exam table taking a seat next to Harry.
 
"That was four years ago, I have to in order to update your information as well
as get the other father's info since there's no record of it here. We have to
make sure there aren't any possible genetic problems with the baby and make
sure you have a healthy pregnancy." Jacob explained wondering why there weren't
any records of Harry.
 
"Oh okay, that's alright." Louis smiled taking Harry's hand.
 
After they were done doing both things and Louis was also seen by Dr. Lane they
were told the results would be ready by Louis' next appointment then left after
Jacob had given them a manila envelope with the new ultrasound pictures telling
Louis it was nice to see him again and that he had a beautiful daughter then
shook hands with Harry making Louis uncomfortable at the tension between them.
 
He watched them leaving the office holding hands looking happy with Harry
holding their daughter with just one arm, the daughter that could have been his
and Louis' if it hadn't been for Harry getting in between them ruining their
relationship. He tried to ignore the anger and jealousy he felt at finding out
Harry had not only ruined everything they had but had also managed to steal
Louis away from him, had managed to form a family with him even though he had
treated Louis like shit and as much as he wanted to he couldn't understand why
Louis had slept with him a week or so after their break up after everything
Harry had done to them. He wondered if Louis had been cheating on him with
Harry and that little girl was the result then came to the painful conclusion
that Louis had never loved him like he did.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mdsxlgIvF31ry05g0o1_500_zps7481df26.gif]
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
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     Thoughts? :)
***** Is this what you call love? This is what I'm thinking of *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Louis followed Harry around with his eyes as the taller man walked around the
kitchen gathering ingredients to make dinner while Logan followed him around
asking question after question about what he was going to make and how was he
going to make it while he sat on the kitchen table with his laptop in front of
him searching for houses on sale around the area already having contacted the
realtor for one both he and Harry had liked. He rubbed his hands on his face
knowing that the reason Harry was acting different was because of Jacob making
him want to get up and kiss him senseless to let him know that he loved him and
only him and that Jacob was in the past.
 
"You okay Lou?" Harry asked looking at him but also keeping an eye on Logan who
was sitting on the countertop slowly adding the chocolate chips to the cookie
dough eating a few when she thought Harry wasn't looking.
 
"Yeah I'm okay...just a little bit tired s'all." Louis lazily smiled.
 
"Why don't you go lay down for a little bit and I'll call you when dinner's
ready." Harry suggested grabbing a spoon to mix the dough with Logan.
 
Louis nodded and got up heading to the living room after kissing Harry's and
Logan's forehead who barely pay attention to him too busy stirring sticking her
tongue out in concentration. He layed down covering himself with Logan's
blanket and answered the texts everyone had sent him asking how was he and the
baby doing telling them they were okay and that they would know what they were
having at his next appointment in a month then fell asleep listening to Harry
telling their daughter how to put the spoonfuls of cookie dough on the cookie
sheet to bake.
 
When he woke up it was to the smell of freshly baked cookies feeling his mouth
watering sitting up just as Logan came in running from the kitchen holding two
apple slices giving him a toothy grin once she noticed he was awake then walked
up to him pressing one of the slices against his lips until he opened his mouth
to eat it. Once she was satisfied after Louis had swallowed it she ate the
other one then ran back to the kitchen coming back seconds later with her hands
full of them giving half to Louis who happily took them cringing when she wiped
her hand on her shirt and began eating them picking Logan up setting her on his
lap to cuddle her.
 
"Is bubbie still hungry daddy?" She asked looking up at Louis with heart
innocent eyes.
 
"I don't know love. Is that why you gave me the apple slices, you think
bubbie's hungry?" Louis hugged her close to him kissing the top of her head.
 
"Mhm, my curly said you and bubbie were hungry and when you're hungry bubbie's
hungry. I don't want my bubbie to be hungry." Logan explained bringing her
thumb into her mouth pouting when Louis took it out.
 
"Logan?" Harry walked out of the kitchen looking for her stopping when he saw
Louis awake with her in his arms. "Did you woke daddy up?" Harry placed his
hands on his hips looking at her with a tiny smile.
 
"No. He's eating apple." Logan explained snuggling closer to Louis.
 
"I was already awake and she shared her apple with me and bubbie. Didn't you
sweetheart? You shared with daddy." Louis pulled her down on her back and began
peppering her face with kisses shrieking when Logan sat up and began doing the
same to him.
 
Harry watched with a smile fishing out his phone to take a few pictures of them
then after telling them dinner was ready they went back to the kitchen to eat
the chicken and vegetables Harry had prepared wanting Louis to eat healthier
since all he had been eating was nachos with spicy jalapenos not really
understanding how he could eat them without burning his tongue off. They
listened to Logan with smiles on their faces telling them all about the things
she was going to do with her bubbie once he was out of her daddy complaining
that it was taking him forever and that if he wanted to sleep he could do it on
her bed while she slept with them. By the end of dinner she had gotten upset
when Louis tried to explain that bubbie might be a girl and not a boy like she
wanted forgetting about it when Harry offered her a chocolate chip cookie
giving a few to Louis who kept asking for the whole tray.
 
"I called the realtor and she said we can go see the house tomorrow?" Harry
mumbled from his spot by Louis' stomach where he had been talking to the baby
after turning the light off for the night.
 
"That's great - oh and Gemma called to let us know she's coming to spend a few
days with us in about a month, she even offered to stay with Logan so we can go
to the next appointment alone." Louis said trying to pull Harry up so he could
rest his head on his chest.
 
"She called you? She didn't called or text me to tell me...mum's not coming?"
Harry asked moving according to how Louis wanted to position himself so he
would be more comfortable.
 
"No, just Gemma. Said she never gets to spend enough time with us so she's
coming." Louis let out a yawn making Harry find him absolutely adorable.
 
"That would be nice, I miss her. Night Lou love you, love you bubbie." Harry
mumbled half asleep.
 
"Are you tired already?" Louis asked poking his cheek.
 
"Yeah, I have to work tomorrow." Harry whispered rubbing circles on Louis' bare
skin right on his baby bump.
 
"We love you too." Louis smiled letting him fall asleep while he massaged his
scalp.
 
The next day Louis woke up bright and early with a sudden burst of energy
feeling great and wanting to make a big breakfast while Harry stayed in bed
completely knocked out and by the time Louis was done cooking bacon and eggs
Logan walked in dragging her blanket behind her and holding Harry's phone in
her other hand as she cutely yawned trying to turn it on. Louis served the food
as he watched her turning it on waiting for her to give it to him since she
needed to type in the four number password he knew since it was 2414 which
where his and Logan's birthday days but was surprised when she easily entered
it and went straight for one of the children's learning games but not before
Louis got a glimpse of the screen with a picture of all three of them at the
park.
 
"Morning love. Did you asked daddy if you could play with his phone?" Louis
asked picking her up kissing her cheek getting one in return.
 
"Louis have you seen my phone?" Harry asked just as Logan abandoned it and was
trying to reach for a piece of bacon huffing in annoyance when she couldn't
reach it.
 
"Oh...thanks. Did you make all of this? How long have you been up?" Harry
smiled taking the phone quickly wrapping his arms around them giving Louis a
kiss on the lips and planting one on the back of Logan's head.
 
"I've been up for a while now. What time are you leaving?"
 
"I have to be there by eight thirty." Harry glanced at the clock on the stove
seeing he had an hour to get there.
 
"What time do we have to be at the house?" Louis asked pulling away setting
Logan down into her chair then took a seat in front of Harry.
 
"One o'clock, I'll pick you up at noon."
 
Harry left for work after helping Louis clean up the table and giving them a
hug and kisses including Louis' tummy until Louis had to kick him out kissing
at the door for a few more minutes before he left. By noon Louis and Logan were
ready by the time Harry picked them up leaving with enough time to get there
gaping when they got there seeing how big and beautiful the house was. It was
Victorian style with a big front yard and a porch Louis immediately fell in
love with as he unbuckled Logan grabbing her hand as soon as he set her down
and walked around to the front of the car where Harry was waiting for them.
 
They could see a woman inside the house from where the door was left open who
came out introducing herself as Kelly shaking hands with them. She started
showing them the first floor which consisted of a foyer and stairs right
through the front door then led them to the left where the dinning room was in
front of the great room as they admired the French doors. They made their way
to the master bedroom to their right where Harry liked the spacious closet and
Louis liked that he had access to the deck loving the stairs that led down to
the garden seeing it also had access from the great room and the breakfast
area. After she showed them the kitchen which was next to the great room Louis
completely fell in love with the keeping room imagining their afternoons
together in the winter cuddling and drinking hot chocolate. After Kelly was
done showing them downstairs she led them upstairs where all Louis cared about
was the open floor plan with a beautiful view to the backyard and feel even
more in love when he saw the walkout basement already thinking about using it
as a playroom for the kids.
 
"Don't you think it's a bit too big?" Harry asked as soon as Kelly left them
alone in the backyard to answer a call.
 
"I think it's perfect." Louis smiled watching Logan running around chasing a
butterfly.
 
"A five bedroom house is too much Lou, I think a three bedroom one would be
nice." Harry suggested.
 
"But I like this one and the two extra rooms we could use as guest bedrooms."
Louis tried to convince him. "I don't want to pressure you or anything but what
if in five years or more we have another baby, we're gonna need the extra room
or when our families visit at least some of them will get to stay with us."
 
"Are you sure this is the one you want? I like it but I also will like it more
modern in the inside and this is the first one we see and I just want you to be
a hundred percent sure." Harry hugged Louis from behind hooking his chin on his
left shoulder while Louis looked around then at Logan walking back to them.
 
"I'm sure this is the one I want." Louis decided smiling when Harry kissed his
cheek knowing he had convinced him.
 
After signing a few things Kelly handed them a set of keys congratulating them
on their new home and baby and to celebrate Harry decided to take them out to
eat agreeing with Louis that since his flat had been sold back just like Louis
would be doing with his then they should pack all of his stuff first.
 
A week later they found themselves packing all of Harry's stuff or more like
Harry packing it himself since he wasn't letting Louis do anything ending up in
pointless arguments and Louis either crying or giving Harry the silent
treatment. He would use Logan as a way of communicating to tell Harry what he
wanted or needed until she would get bored or annoyed and leave to play in a
corner of the living room away from them ignoring them until it was time to eat
or go home.
 
A few days later when Louis had entered his eighteen week was when he was
finally allowed to do something useful like going through all the stuff Harry
had in boxes stored in the corner of his closet to see what was good to take
and what was not until he recognized a small black box. He recognized it
because it was his, it was the box where Louis had kept his and Harry's old
pictures, notes and basically all of their memories together when they were
friends and hadn't thrown away when Harry turned against him, he thought Harry
had gotten rid of his which he was still sure he had done.
 
He opened the box with shaky hands and teared up when the first thing he saw
was a picture of both of them with their arms around each other while they
smiled so big and their eyes shined with happiness and innocence. He began
going through the box finding old notes they used to pass to each other during
class rereading them and laughing at how dumb they were back then then stopped
laughing when he saw his green and white bracelet made of thread Harry had
given him while Louis himself had given Harry a blue and white one. It had been
one of the cheesiest thing they had done for and given to each other and had
been teased about it for a while but they didn't cared at all like always.
 
He put them away setting the box aside to take with him since it was his after
all even though he had left it behind and thought he had lost it when his mum
couldn't find it, he had cried when she told him it was nowhere to be found and
he thought he had lost all the happy memories with Harry. He continued grabbing
another black box opening it realizing Harry had never gotten rid of his own
like he had thought and had kept them just like he had done making him smile
when he saw what was inside the box. He was just about to put it away with his
own when he noticed a white envelope with his own name written on it taped to
the inside of the lid. Careful not to rip it he removed it putting the box
aside wondering if he should open it or not, he looked at the door knowing he
was alone since Harry and Logan had just left to get lunch after he had picked
her up from her karate class.
 
Louis looked back at the envelope wanting to know what was inside and even
though he and Harry were now happy together with their children and the past
was the past he still wanted to know. He took a deep breath and opened it
finding a letter in Harry's own handwriting seeing how messy it was written and
in various spots the ink was smudged as if drops of water had landed on it
while it was being written realizing Harry must've been crying then began
reading feeling his eyes stinging with tears.
 
Lou,
I lost the right to call you that a long time ago the moment I hurt you for the
first time and I'm so sorry. I know that a simple sorry isn't enough after what
I did to you but at this point there's nothing else left to do, I can't fix
things when no matter how hard I try to find you you're never there, you don't
want to be found and I'm sorry for giving up on you again. I can't do it
anymore Lou, I can't continue living and pretending that nothing's wrong and I
don't miss you when I'm slowly dying on the inside little by little each day
that goes by and you're not here with me. I just miss you so much Lou, I just
want you here with me, just the two of us. By the time you're reading this I
won't be there anymore, I won't hurt you anymore so please don't stop reading.
Please don't take away my last and only chance I have to explain why.
I wish I could go back in time and change the way I handled things and the
horrible way I treated you just like I was treated, I wish I could take that
pain away but I can't. I used to be a kid who didn't care what others thought
about me and I thought Adam would accept me for who I was but I was wrong. I've
known I like boys since the year before you came out but things for me didn't
worked out as well as they did for you. I've been treated so wrong and like I
was nothing and no one important by my own father and all I got were beatings,
torture, and cruel words instead of the hug and loving words of acceptance I
had hoped for. I never got the chance to be free like you and instead spent my
last years caged like a bird.
How could I be free when it was beaten into me that loving your best friend, a
guy, was wrong, disgusting and a sin. How could I be free and be the real me,
the Harry you got to know when the person who used to be my hero and who I
thought was supposed to protect me, accept and love me no matter what hurt me
so many times until I was nothing but an empty shell forced to hide who I
really was. He threatened you and my family. He already hurt Gemma and I
couldn't let him hurt you or worse, kill you all because of a disgusting silly
crush like he called it. I told myself it was for the best but in the end it
was me who ended up hurting you and did to you something so disgusting I still
had nightmares every time I closed my eyes. They never stop haunting me.
I didn't meant to fall in love with you the way I did but it happened, I wish I
didn't had to tell you I've been in love with you for the past three years and
never got the chance to say it out loud nor show it to you the way I would've
liked. I fell in love with your smile and the way your eyes shined every time
you talked about something you were passionate about, the way you would pout to
get your way whenever you wanted something. I fell in love with everything that
is you and you, everything you loved I loved. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect
you from myself and I know it's too late now to save you and save myself, too
late to save your love. I'm a pathetic coward for taking the easy way out but I
can't do it anymore and I know you're not any better and dealing with so much
more but I hate myself like I know you hate and I'm sorry.
I never meant all those things I said to you, you are and will always be my
everything so please believe me when I say you're beautiful in every way, shape
and form. You have no idea how easy it was for me to fall in love with you and
before I knew it I was in way too deep and I never wanted to get out ever again
but things never worked out the way I wanted them to. I'm sorry things had to
end the way they did but when I lost you I lost myself and the will to keep
going, I didn't want to live anymore and I'm the only one to blame for
everything.
I guess this is goodbye and no matter where I go I will always love you angel,
always. Go on and be happy because you deserve it, you deserve everything good
in life unlike me. I wanted to be with you forever. I wanted to hold your hand,
call you mine and kiss you goodnight. I wanted to marry you and have a few kids
and a dog, have a family with you and make you happy. Maybe someday you'll have
just that Lou, you'll have your own kids with the one you love and I'll be just
a vague memory in the back of your mind and you'll be so happy. That's when
I'll truly find peace or solace like I used to say. Maybe we were never meant
to be but I'll leave believing that we were, that we could have been so happy
together if I had just fought hard enough for us. I'll go leaving nothing
behind of me but this note and our memories, I'm sorry all I left behind was
pain and I hope one day you can forgive me. I'll never stop loving you no
matter where I go, I wish I could have been by your side for the rest of our
lives. I love you Louis, always and forever.
Harry
P. S. Last night I saw a shooting star and it reminded me of you. It was
beautiful but I couldn't compare, nothing is more beautiful to me than you.
 
Louis clutched the letter against his chest as he cried and didn't know how
long he sat there until he heard the front door opening and Logan's loud
footsteps as she ran inside probably with Buttercup after her since he was
barking. Harry called for him to come eat and that he had his favorite juice
making him let out a muffled sob trying not to imagine him dead and gone when
he had already gone through thinking him dead and it had been hell. He tried to
wipe his face clean of the wetness but Harry chose that moment to walk in
leaving Louis with no time to hide the letter back inside the box.
 
"I got you na - Lou what's wrong, why are you crying? Is something wrong with
the baby?" Harry desperately asked checking Louis all over for any injuries
relaxing a bit when he found none until he saw the boxes he had kept all those
years and a piece of paper in his hands against his chest.
 
"The baby's fine." Louis said then began bawling trying to take deep breaths to
calm down.
 
"You kept them. H - How did y - you find mine?"
 
"Oh Lou, that doesn't matter. Shh, come here...please don't cry, not for me
Louis, not anymore." Harry easily picked him up to sit him on his lap hugging
him and using his sleeve to wipe his face free of tears.
 
"Y - You kept it t - too." Louis sobbed giving him his box and the letter then
hid his face on the crook of his neck.
 
"What's this?" Harry asked taking the letter.
 
Louis pulled back to look at him seeing how Harry's eyes widened then out of
nowhere ripped the letter into small pieces until he couldn't anymore then
threw them in the bin and tightened his grip on Louis kissing the side of his
head feeling their precious baby bump against his stomach.
 
"How did you find my box? Is that - the letter, that's the letter you wrote to
me?" Louis pressed his hands against Harry's cheeks waiting for him to talk.
 
"That night after you left and Eleanor hit me I jumped into your room through
the window...I - I wanted to know if you were really gone. I found it when I
started hitting my head against your nightstand and I took it. I've had it with
me all these years." Harry said never letting go of Louis.
 
"Why did you kept that letter there?" Louis mumbled trying to understand why.
 
"That - that night I left those boxes on top of my desk with a note to my mum
to give them to you and I taped that envelope inside mine, after everything I
went through I never opened them again and I forgot about it, I tried to forget
everything...even you and start over but you were always there and I realized I
didn't wanted to forget you at all." Harry rubbed Louis' back to reduce his
hiccups.
 
"Here," Louis pulled away and picked up the blue bracelet then grabbed Harry's
left hand and gently put it back where it belonged as he smiled. "Now you'll
always have something to remind you of me."
 
"And now you do too." Harry smiled picking the green one putting it on Louis'
right wrist then kissed it before hugging him again. "Let's go eat, I got you
your favorite juice and nachos."
 
"Carry me." Louis sniffled then smiled a little when Harry moved him off of his
lap, got up then lifted him up by the back of his thighs where Louis quickly
wrapped his arms and legs around him and carried him towards his almost empty
living room like a small child.
 
He set him down on the couch next to Logan then moved to stand in front of him
still wiping Louis' tears away who for no reason other than hormones kept
crying just feeling like he had to while Logan looked at them frowning. Before
they knew what was going on Logan got up from the couch, pushed Harry away from
Louis as hard as she could landing a punch right in his crotch screaming that
he made daddy and bubbie cry then wrapped her arms around Louis' stomach while
he tried not to laugh and instead tried to get up and help him but Logan
refused to move and just stared at Harry who was trying to breathe.
 
"Are you okay? Logan Why would you do that? You don't hit daddy or anybody else
you understand." Louis tried to get her look at him but she only clung to him
tighter.
 
"I'm - I'm okay." Harry stuttered.
 
"What do we say?" Louis looked down at Logan who was now looking at him
frowning.
 
"He made you cry daddy, I don't like it and he made my bubbie cry. It's my
bubbie." Logan pouted refusing to look at Harry.
 
"We don't hit people, that's not nice Logan. What do you have to say to daddy?"
Louis continued.
 
"He made you cry daddy." Logan insisted as her eyes filled with tears.
 
"Baby he didn't made me cry, I was crying because...because I hit my elbow
against the wall but I'm okay now. You have to apologize to daddy you know
that." Louis gently pushed her towards Harry who was now sitting on the arm of
the couch rubbing his left eye.
 
"I'm sorry daddy." Logan mumbled going back to Louis but let Harry pick her up
placing her on his lap.
 
"It's okay bug. Can you give me a kiss and a big hug?" Harry asked and smiled
when Logan kissed him and gave him a hug while he looked at Louis who was
smiling then out of nowhere his smile disappeared.
 
"Oh." Louis' hand flew to his belly placing it over a spot then smiled tearing
up again.
 
"What's wrong?" Harry asked kissing Logan's forehead before he put her back
down where she stayed still in front of them.
 
"I felt - the - the baby moved. I can feel it, give me your hand...I - I don't
think you can yet but I can. It was a tiny nudge." Louis grabbed Harry's hand
putting it over the spot where he was feeling light nudges.
 
"I can't feel anything Lou...can you bug?" Harry asked her kneeling down in
front of Louis lifting his shirt up then grabbed Logan's hand putting it next
to his own.
 
"There!" Louis exclaimed.
 
"I don't feel it daddy. Bubbie you have to move faster but I still love you
even if you're sooo slow." Logan said kissing his belly then got up to wake up
Buttercup leaving Louis and Harry almost in tears.
 
"You can't feel it yet but I'm pretty sure he or she can hear you now." Louis
said noticing the disappointment on Harry's face when he couldn't feel the baby
move.
 
"Really? Could I talk to her?" Harry asked smiling when Louis nodded telling
him he didn't had to ask to talk to their baby.
 
"Hi Leighton...or Evan, whichever you are doesn't matter because we'll still
love you the same. Daddy your sister and I can't wait to meet you baby...I love
you." Harry gently kissed it.
 
"You sound like you really want a girl." Louis gently stroked Harry's cheek
with his thumb.
 
"I guess I do but it really doesn't matter, all I want is for our baby to be
healthy and happy." Harry smiled.
 
"Just two more weeks and we'll know if it's an Evan or a Leighton. You said
something about nachos and my favorite juice?" Louis asked leaning down to kiss
Harry.
 
~*~
 
"She's gonna think we're just using her to babysit Logan while we go to the
appointment." Louis sighed as Harry rubbed his swollen feet that were killing
him while he had a hand on his aching lower back.
 
"She won't mind because she loves her and will want to spend some time alone
with her, I'm starting to think she has the adoption papers ready for us to
sign." Harry said then after a pause chuckled.
 
"Well we won't sign them." Louis chuckled resting against the headboard looking
around their new bedroom.
 
The past two weeks had been hectic with all the moving, shopping for baby
furniture and trying to decide what color to paint the nursery until Harry
suggested they should wait until after finding out what they were having.
Thanks to the help of their friends they were able to move in faster also
helping with the unpacking and after talking about it both Harry and Louis
decided to keep using the furniture Louis had in his flat for her and use the
one in Harry's as well as his own bed for the guestrooms leaving the one for
the baby empty. After Louis had decorated the way he wanted and Logan had
absolutely loved her new bedroom painted a light purple he placed the pictures
of him and Harry when they were younger and the one from Logan's birthday party
on his nightstand already planning on buying a new frame for the picture of all
four of them once the baby got there. Now at twenty weeks louis was scheduled
for an appointment that had him a nervous mess because of the tests they had
done and excited to know the sex of the baby so he could buy everything his
baby needed. Gemma who had find out they had the appointment the same day she
would be arriving had screamed their ears off demanding to be the second to
know after Logan then suggested Logan stay with her to spend time with her
which Harry quickly agreed to without asking Louis.
 
"Auntie Gemma's here!" Logan shouted running into their bedroom followed by an
excited Buttercup.
 
"She is? Well let's go give her a big hug." Harry smiled helping Louis up.
 
"Hi! Oh my goodness Lou look at you, you're glowing." Gemma said as soon as she
saw him giving him a quick hug then touched his belly after Louis nodded.
 
"Auntie Gemma I missed you lots." Logan hugged her leg clinging to it when she
noticed all her attention was on her Bubbie and not her.
 
"I missed you lots too princess. My God you're getting bigger and bigger
everyday, you're such a big girl now." Gemma picked her up kissing her cheek.
 
"No hug for me Gems?" Harry teased then smiled when she hugged him and gave him
a kiss on the forehead. "How are mum and dad?"
 
"They're good, mum baked you guys chocolate chip cookies...they're in the front
seat and my bags are on the back." Gemma let go of him.
 
"Let me go get them." Harry said walking out followed by Logan who insisted on
going too at the mention of her favorite chocolate chip cookies Ninna sent to
her.
 
"Today's the big reveal huh?" Gemma smiled wrapping an arm around him while
Louis walked to the kitchen.
 
"Yeah I'm excited and thank you for staying with her. Tea?"
 
"Sure, and its no problem Lou. I did missed my little girl you know and in four
months I'll get to hold that little baby. Has it kicked?"
 
"Yeah but they're not that strong yet...I'm worried this one doesn't move as
much as Logan did, it doesn't kick as hard as Logan used to around this time."
Louis voiced his worries chewing on his bottom lip.
 
"Maybe this baby's gonna be more calm than her, she never stops...but you
should ask the doctor anyway." Gemma suggested.
 
"Logan starts school next month." Louis sighed giving Gemma a mug.
 
"Oh dear. Think she's gonna like it?" Gemma asked.
 
"I hope so or we'll have a big problem, if she doesn't cry the first day then
we'll be fine." Louis smiled hearing Logan begging Harry for at least half a
cookie.
 
Soon enough Harry and Louis were waiting for both Dr. Lane and Jacob to get
there since they had the test results and were anxious to know what they were
having. Louis was starting to get impatient resting his head on Harry's
shoulder who kissed the top of his head when there was a knock on the door and
both Dr. Lane and Jacob walked in greeting them. She checked his vitals and
answered a few questions including as to why the baby wasn't moving as much as
his first one, all babies and pregnancies were different and it will soon start
kicking up a storm all the while Harry noticed Jacob sitting by the ultrasound
machine holding a file looking worried managing to make him worry.
 
"Do you boys want to know what you're having first or talk about the results?
It's important that we do." Dr. Lane asked.
 
"We want to know first." Louis smiled just as Harry did.
 
"Alright then, you know what to do Louis." Dr. Lane smiled helping him a little
then motioned for Jacob to start.
 
"Can you see it?" Louis asked after a while.
 
"The baby keeps hiding it with its legs, won't let me see." Jacob commented
while Dr. Lane chuckled.
 
"This one is a little shy Louis." She said stopping to listen to the heartbeat
then turned to look at Harry and Louis. "When I was trying to find the sex of
your first baby I found it right away but then you decided not to know, she
wasn't shy at all but this one is a shy little one."
 
"There it is." Jacob smiled freezing the screen.
 
"What is it?" Harry asked leaning forward holding Louis' hand.
 
"Congratulations, it's a boy." Jacob announced seeing Louis' whole face
lighting up with happiness making him smile then looked down when Louis reached
to hug Harry.
 
"We're gonna have a boy Haz, it's an Evan." Louis hugged him.
 
"Logan was right." He smiled kissing his forehead.
 
"Evan? That's a beautiful name." Dr. Lane smiled.
 
"Thank you, Harry picked it." Louis proudly said.
 
"I'll go get you your pictures." Jacob said slipping out of the room coming
back minutes later with a manila envelope seeing Louis sitting next to Harry.
 
"We have to talk about the genetic test results." Dr. Lane began then looked at
Jacob who swallowed a lump in his throat.
 
"Looking at Louis' results there's nothing to worry about they're all normal
but...in Harry's I found a mutation in one of the genes in chromosome
seventeen." Jacob started making Louis tighten his grip on Harry's hand.
 
"W - What do you mean? What does that mean?" Louis asked hoping for the best.
 
"He's - he's a carrier for Leber Congenital Amaurosis but looking into your
first child's medical history there's a possibility of Harry not passing it
down to this one either and since you're not a carrier Louis there's a chance
that your baby might only be a carrier like Harry or not have it at all like
his sister." Jacob explained trying to ease it for them.
 
"What do you mean I'm a carrier...could you at least explain what that is?"
Harry asked wrapping his arms around a silently crying Louis.
 
"It's a rare inherited eye disease that appears months before, at birth or in
the first few months of life. The term congenital refers to a condition present
from birth not acquired and amaurosis refers to...to a loss of vision not
associated with a lesion. It is typically characterized by Nystagmus which is
involuntary eye movement, sluggish or no pupilliary responses and...severe
vision loss or - or blindness." Jacob finished and all he could hear were
Louis' soft cries muffled by Harry's chest as he held him feeling bad for both
of them seeing Harry's eyes filed with tears.
 
"You - you mean my baby's blind?" Louis asked feeling his chest tightening.
 
"Not necessarily...there is a chance just as there are chances of him being
only a carrier or not having it at all like his sister. That doesn't mean he's
blind Louis." Jacob said wanting nothing but comfort him.
 
"C - Can you run a test or something to know if he is?" Harry desperately asked
feeling guilty because if it wasn't for him then Evan could be completely fine
and life just kept making him pay for his mistakes.
 
"The only way to know is by checking his eyes soon after birth and do a few
tests to see if he's a carrier or not if his eyes are fine, if he's a carrier
like you that doesn't mean he'll have it, he'll just carry the gene and be
completely fine like you." Dr. Lane explained.
 
"Okay..." Harry took a shaky breath kissing the top of Louis' head.
 
~*~
 
The drive home was quiet until Louis made Harry pull over halfway home then
wiped the tears away taking Harry's warm hand in his feeling Evan nudging him
again then two tiny kicks in his side. The thought of their little baby boy
possibly being blind almost brought tears to his eyes once again but he held
them back knowing how Harry who tended to blame himself for all the bad things
that happened must be feeling.
 
"If he's blind we'll still love him, it won't change anything. You'll still
love him right?" Louis asked already knowing the answer.
 
"I would never not love him, he's our son and I love him so much Lou. If he is
blind then that won't matter because it won't change things at all, I still
love him to bits and I'll still spoil him rotten like Logan. She'll love him
too just like us and I promise you he's gonna be the happiest little boy ever.
I know it's my fault but I still love him the same, nothing's changed." Harry
held Louis' hand kissing him while a few tears escaped his eyes.
 
"Stop blaming yourself for everything, it's not your fault." Louis gently
brushed Harry's curls as he put a hand over his stomach managing to bend to
press his cheek against it when it happened.
 
"I - I can feel him." Harry let out a choked happy sob kissing it. "I promise
you I will always love you Evan, no matter what we will always love you. I
can't wait to meet you and hold you, I bet you're gonna be just as handsome as
your daddy Lou. I love him you know...yeah you do baby boy. You'll be so happy
bubbie, I promise. I would never let anyone hurt you or your sister and daddy."
 
And in that moment Louis fell in love with him all over again if that was
possible and the only thing he could feel was pure adoration towards him
growing and growing even more. He felt safe next to him knowing and believing
they were meant to be, had always been no matter what. He smiled knowing he had
it all with him and they were going to be alright. If that was what they called
love then it was what he had been thinking of.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mtoyypexkW1rlaofuo1_250_zps2f40aaf9.gif]
      
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mtoyypexkW1rlaofuo1_250_zps2f40aaf9.gif
      
     Thoughts?
***** And you said to me we'll be alright, and we'll be alright *****
Chapter Notes
     It's a bit rushed but I hope you guys like it. :)
      
     This song is perfect for the chapter. :)
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBBy50GwGNw
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Should we tell them what going on?" Louis asked as soon as Harry had parked
the car outside their home.
 
"I think we should but I think we should focus more on setting up the nursery
and buying everything our Bubbie's going to need. Wait until we tell Logan it's
a boy, she's gonna flip." Harry beamed with happiness melting Louis' heart.
 
"I hope he gets your eyes...and the curls too, just like Logan." Louis smiled
taking Harry's hand in his.
 
"We already have a mini me Lou, I want a mini you with beautiful bright blue
eyes just like yours as well as your hair." Harry tilted his head to the side
trying not to smile when Louis shook his head no rather stubbornly.
 
"I want him to look like you." Louis pouted.
 
"How about both of us?" Harry chuckled diving forward stealing a kiss making
Louis gasp.
 
"Harry Edward! Did you just stole my kiss!?" Louis faked surprise touching his
lips still feeling that tingling sensation he felt every time Harry kissed him.
 
"I did. What are you gonna do about it?" Harry smiled yet Louis could see the
adoration in his eyes.
 
Louis bit his bottom lip feeling like a teenager on his first date with the
hottest guy of the school then fighting a smile he leaned down capturing
Harry's lips on his own wrapping his hand around the back of his neck as Harry
early responded. He deepened the kiss feeling Harry's hand on his lower back
sliding all the way down to his thigh, Harry shifted around in his seat trying
to get closer stopping when he felt Louis' belly pressed up against him before
he could get any closer to him.
 
"Get it back...and I did." Louis smirked then got out of the car leaving Harry
with his mouth wide open and definitely not staring at that magnificent bum of
his.
 
He quickly got out of the car locking it and walking a little faster to catch
up to Louis who was waiting for him leaning against the porch post with both
his hands intertwined together underneath his belly that only kept getting
bigger and bigger and to Harry Louis looked absolutely beautiful. Louis
immediately reached out for Harry's hand and once it was secured in his he
opened the door expecting to see Logan rushing over to them but the only thing
they saw was an overly excited Buttercup running to them about to jump on
Louis. Harry barely managed to get in between them getting tackled down to the
ground by the 7 month old dog as it licked his face and wagged his tail.
 
"Harry! Are you okay?" Louis shrieked trying to get the dog off of him just as
Gemma came in running from the kitchen.
 
"What happened?" She asked helping Louis get him off of Harry.
 
"I'm okay. Are you okay? Are you hurting?" Harry frantically asked checking
Louis all over relaxing when Louis shook his head.
 
"He tried to jump on you too?" Gemma asked holding Buttercup by the collar
leading him to the kitchen followed by Louis and Harry.
 
"He jumped you?" Harry asked crouching down in front of the dog.
 
"Yeah, tried to jump Logan too...but she gave him a right scolding and he
hasn't tried ever since." Gemma chuckled letting go of him.
 
"Where is she?" Louis asked grabbing a small chocolate bar from the pantry.
 
"Taking a nap, wore herself out after running around in the backyard with the
dog. I know you guys wanted to tell her first but I'm dying. Are we getting an
Evan or a Leighton...oh and did you get the results back?" Gemma asked
excitedly waiting for Harry to finish scolding the dog then watched as he let
him go then got up to stand next to Louis.
 
"It's a boy Gemma." Louis smiled leaning into Harry's embrace.
 
"Oh my gosh! Congratulations boys, Logan's gonna be over the moon when she
finds out it is a Bubbie." Gemma exclaimed hugging both of them pausing when
she noticed something was wrong.
 
"Gemma...did you know I'm a carrier for Leber Congenital Amaurosis?" Harry
asked feeling Louis' grip on his side tightening.
 
"No but I know Adam is..." Gemma trailed off, realization crossing over her
features.
 
"Fucking bastard." Harry snarled getting out of Louis' grip walking towards the
breakfast area then coming back breathing faster, hands balled into fists.
 
"Harry calm down." Louis sighed sitting in one of the barstools
 
"You want me - you want me to calm down when it's his fault I'm fucked up and
because of me Evan could be blind. More reasons to hate him." Harry muttered
the last words.
 
"Is the baby okay?" Gemma asked checking the lasagna in the oven.
 
"Dr. Lane said that there's a chance he could be a carrier or be blind but
since Logan doesn't have either then there's a possibility he might not have
them either. If he's blind then it won't matter to us, he's still our son and
we love him." Louis explained trying not to cry again.
 
"We will, we already love him so much." Gemma gave him a reassuring smile
watching Harry take a seat next to Louis rubbing his hands on his face.
 
"We need to pick a color for the nursery so I can start painting it." Harry
managed to smile even though inside he was dying.
 
Because of him their son might never see what his family look like, might never
see the colors or the seasons changing and the leaves falling. Going from a
green to a brown or see the flowers blooming in the spring. He'll never get to
see what he looks like or see the snow in the winter, the Christmas tree or run
on his own all because of him.
 
"I like a baby blue...oh and we have to buy everything he's going to need."
Louis smiled taking the ultrasound picture out of the manila envelope giving
them to Gemma who squealed.
 
"No doubt he's a boy...and look at his cute button nose just like Louis'."
Gemma gushed never taking her eyes off of the picture seeing Harry getting up
to grab a water bottle from the corner of her eye.
 
"Oh look, he kicks when I press in with my hand." Louis giggled pressing in on
his side smiling when Harry and Gemma pushed each other to get there first
laughing when Gemma pushed him a few feet away getting there first as she
smiled feeling Evan kicking right against her palm.
 
"He's restless. Just started kicking earlier today and now he won't stop."
Louis said feeling how he kicked, stop then kicked again not as strong yet but
he knew he would later on.
 
"He's showing his skills to his daddies, might play footie when he grows up
with all that kicking he's doing in there." Gemma cooed.
 
"Or he might be artsy like Louis." Harry grinned already proud of his son.
 
"No, he's definitely going to be a footie player." Louis agreed with Gemma.
 
"He can do whatever he likes...I'm not going to force him to do something he
doesn't want to do." Harry gave them a sad smile.
 
Louis stayed in the kitchen with Gemma while Harry checked on Logan smiling
when he saw half her body was hanging off the bed and careful not wake her up
he picked her up putting her in the middle of the bed lifting her arm up to put
Mr. Curls underneath it then covered her with her blanket kissing her forehead.
He closed the door to keep Buttercup from getting in and lay down next to her
since he was shedding and after what had happened earlier making a mental note
to take him outside. He walked to the office in front of Logan's bedroom and
sat down in front of his laptop looking up dog obedience schools wanting to
train Buttercup to keep him from jumping then thinking about Evan not wanting
the dog to accidentally hurt him or Logan and Louis.
 
After searching for almost half an hour he found one called full circle and
booked an appointment after making sure it was trustworthy after taking his
time reading over the comments people were leaving when he heard the dog trying
to get into her room whining when he couldn't. He frowned when the door was
opened then slammed shut again hearing the unmistakable click of the lock
quickly getting up to check on her when he realized he had locked herself in
there and began jiggling the doorknob when he found it locked.
 
"Logan? Bug open the door." Harry knocked then tried to open it again.
 
"No." Logan answered and by her tone Harry could tell she was still sleepy.
 
"Why not?" Harry asked trying to remember where Louis had put the master key
after they had rekeyed all of the locks in the house.
 
" 'Cause Emily said no, daddy she doesn't like you because you don't give us
cookies. Go away." Logan answered freaking him out when she started giggling.
 
"Logan open the door."
 
"No!"
 
"Logan Styles open the door or you're gonna be in big trouble." Harry nearly
shouted trying to open it when she once again told him to go away. "Hunter open
the door right now or I'm gonna put you in time out with no cookies for you at
all."
 
He sighed in relief when he heard shuffling and seconds later she opened the
door getting out of the way when Harry opened the door wider and walked in
looking around only seeing Buttercup sleeping on her bed and no one else. He
turned around eyeing the doorknob then looked at Logan already knowing what he
was going to do and after Logan put her shoes back on he took her downstairs
leaving her in the kitchen in Louis' arms who gave him a questioning look as
well as Gemma.
 
He then headed to the garage where he kept all his tools and was too small for
their cars so they just parked them in the other one which was bigger then
headed back inside walking past them with tools and a new doorknob with no lock
in his hands. After changing it and making sure it was working he turned around
satisfied with his work to see Louis standing in front of him with his arms
across his chest waiting for an explanation raising an eyebrow.
 
"She locked herself in there and wouldn't open the door so I fixed the
problem." Harry quickly explained crouching down to pick up his tools.
 
"Now that you're on it why don't you change the one in the baby's room, I don't
want it with a lock...I don't feel comfortable." Louis gave him a pleading look
running his fingers through his curls making him sigh in content.
 
"Let me go get a doorknob." Harry got up giving him a quick kiss as Louis
walked into Evan's room which was to the right next to Logan's.
 
~*~
 
"Daddy my cookie." Logan whined pulling on Harry's shirt while he was trying to
clear the table having trouble when Logan kept following him around almost
tripping him a few times.
 
After Harry had given her a lecture about locking the doors and not listening
they had finally sat down to eat the lasagna Gemma had prepared for them
promising Logan she could have two cookies after dinner. Once he was done
cleaning it he grabbed a few of his mum's cookies having called her to thank
her and so he and Louis could tell them they were going to have a grandson
leaving the part about him possibly being blind for another day and made his
way out the the deck in the backyard where Louis, Gemma, and Logan were waiting
for him. He bent down to give Logan a cookie and as fast as he had given her it
it was snatched away by Buttercup who moved away from her when she tried to get
it back.
 
"My cookie...daddy!" Logan started crying as soon as she realized he had eaten
it and ran to Harry who picked her up rubbing her back as she cried hiding her
face in the crook of his neck.
 
"Don't cry bug, I'll still give you two." Harry kissed her wet cheek reaching
out for a cookie from the plate Gemma was holding out for him then gave her two
cookies.
 
She stayed on Harry's lap resting her head against his chest eating it away
from the dog's reach leaving crumbs all over Harry's shirt. Harry smiled when
she saw Gemma taking a picture of them who no doubt was going to send it to
their mum since she had already sent her one of him and Louis before dinner
when Louis had been sitting on Harry's lap while he talked to Evan making
obnoxious noises.
 
"Logan be nice to him." Louis quickly said as soon as he saw her giving the dog
a light kick on the side to make him go away.
 
"No, he's mean." Logan pouted looking at Louis who had moved to sit next to
them then turned to Buttercup pointing at him with her small index finger.
"You're a bad boy and bad boys don't get cuddles. Time out for you."
 
They chuckled as Harry hugged her closer to him kissing the top of her head
then set her down when she began squirming watching her run to Buttercup
telling him time out was up then cuddled him cooing at him until it was time
for her to take a bath and go to bed. That night Louis fell asleep with half
his body on top of Harry's and his belly resting against Harry's stomach for
support since he was more comfortable sleeping on his side while Harry stayed
awake smiling like an idiot whenever he would feel Evan moving around wondering
if Louis felt it differently than he did rolling his eyes because of course he
did, he was carrying him after all.
 
The following week was all fun and games for Logan and Gemma and entertaining
conversations between the three adults who did nothing but remember the good
old times and tell funny stories about each other then out of nowhere started
planning a get together with the whole family and friends on Gemma's last days
there which were going to be the following weekend. Thursday noon both Louis
and Harry had the whole house to themselves after Gemma decided to go shopping
taking Logan with her promising to get her ice cream after. Harry had put the
dog outside in the deck putting a dog proof gate latch at the bottom of the
stairs to keep him from going to the backyard unattended afraid of him running
away again when the day before he had dug a hole under the fence and had been
missing for a whole day. Logan had cried almost all day refusing to go back
inside until Buttercup was back screaming and kicking when Harry grabbed her to
make her go inside falling asleep an hour later waking up to the dog sleeping
on the floor next to the couch after coming back around dinner all dirty and
Harry had given him a bath.
 
****
 
"Was this the last popsicle?" Louis asked Harry looking up at him with wide
eyes still sucking on the popsicle.
 
They were in their bedroom laying down on the bed watching 21 Jump Street since
Logan was not home and they could finally watch it without stopping it every
time she would walk in wanting to watch one of her own movies and eat all of
Louis' nachos pushing the jalapenos over to the side where Louis would eat them
like candy.
 
"Yeah, I can text Gemma and ask her to bring more." Harry answered a little
breathlessly seeing Louis sucking on the bright red cherry popsicle making his
lips a nice shade of red.
 
"Nah it's okay, we have to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyway. Don't bother
her and just kiss me." Louis said eating the last of the popsicle getting up on
his knees to kiss him as best as he could finding it a little difficult when he
was almost six months pregnant.
 
What started as a simple innocent kiss quickly turned filthy the moment Louis
lightly bit Harry's bottom lip straddling his legs wanting to get closer to him
but his stomach got in the way preventing him from doing so. He tugged on
Harry's shirt taking it off throwing it somewhere in the room then accommodated
himself right on top of Harry's crotch rolling his hips feeling him getting
hard through his sweatpants. Louis froze when Harry tried to take his shirt off
grabbing his hands in a tight grip pushing them away from his body holding them
down on Harry's side while looking at him with wide blue eyes.
 
"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." Harry quickly said rubbing
the top of Louis' hands with his thumbs.
 
"I do want to but - but I don't want you to to see me naked, I look so fat and
unattractive." Louis nearly whispered looking down at his outstretched stomach.
 
"Hey, love look at me." Harry smiled grabbing Louis' chin to make him look up
at him. "You're pregnant, you're not fat and you're beautiful. I still and will
always find you absolutely gorgeous and if you don't want to take it off then
that's fine, if you're not comfortable without it then you can keep it on."
 
Louis couldn't help the smile that spread across his face then leaned down to
kiss him resuming what he had been doing driving Harry crazy at the way he
moved his hips feeling him lowering his sweatpants down. He let out a muffled
moan against Harry's lips when he felt his finger circling around his entrance
wanting to push back stopping when Harry reached out for the lube watching as
he covered his fingers on it waiting patiently until he felt one of his fingers
entering him. After only getting quick hand jobs since the last time Louis had
had Harry inside of him it felt like heaven as Harry added another finger
stretching him open.
 
"Hurry...that's - that's enough." Louis panted against Harry's neck while he
palmed him never stopping.
 
"It's gonna hurt, I - I need to..." Harry trailed off lifting his hips up so
Louis could take his sweatpants off sighing and closing his eyes when the cool
air assaulted his now fully erect cock.
 
"Shut up and help me." Louis whined trying to take his own sweatpants off
struggling a bit.
 
After struggling to get them off they were finally on the floor along with
Harry's clothes then wasting no time Louis lowered himself on Harry's lubed up
cock closing his eyes loving the burn and the feeling of being stretched open
parting his lips forming an O shape. He stayed still trying to adjust then
began rolling his hips around in circles before moving up then down again
feeling Harry's grip tightening on his thighs and when he was too tired to move
he stayed still letting Harry fuck into him hitting his spot every time as both
of them couldn't keep quiet even if they tried. Louis could feel he was close
as Harry kneaded his bum when his phone ringing loudly interrupted them while
Harry kept going even though Louis was trying to grab it.
 
"Ignore it." Harry grabbed Louis' hands trapping them with one of his own
latching onto his neck sucking satisfied with the red mark he left behind.
 
"What if - oh God...it could be i - important." Louis stuttered then shouted
Harry's name coming all over him coating his butterfly tattoo.
 
"Oh f - fuck. Louis, I'm - I'm gonna..." Harry moaned trying to pull out but
ended up coming inside of Louis just as the phone stopped ringing.
 
"I missed this...we should do it more often." Louis said after catching his
breath then began blushing closing his eyes making Harry look at him with
curiosity.
 
"What's wrong?" Harry asked them his eyes widened in realization when he put
his hand on Louis' stomach next to his.
 
"We woke him up." Louis said feeling Evan kicking.
 
"...let's go shower before the girls get here." Harry blushed a deep red
helping him get up then walked to the bathroom pulling Louis with him.
 
"But I need to see who called." Louis protested trying to go back.
 
"You can call them back later." Harry kissed him smiling when Louis followed.
 
After trying to convince him for what felt like hours Harry finally convinced
Louis to take his shirt off smiling with adoration clear in his eyes when he
fully saw Louis' baby bump where he knew their baby was safe and warm. He never
would stop telling louis how beautiful he is making his cheeks go a little rosy
while Harry kissed them hugging Louis close to him as the water cascaded over
their naked bodies.
 
Later that day they found themselves sitting in the keeping room shopping for
baby clothes online arguing over a pair of tiny sweatshirt overalls that Harry
wanted to get in dark blue color while Louis wanted them a light blue until
Harry got two of each color adding them in the cart. They continued looking
through more baby clothes buying a few long sleeved bodysuits complete with
tiny hats and pants some of them white with bear designs and others blue and
striped ones.
 
Instead of only buying clothes by the time they were done they were pretty much
set in the clothing department after going overboard buying enough bodysuits to
change him three times per day, tiny sweatpants that matched a pair Harry had,
slippers and socks. Two hooded towels in white and blue when Harry wouldn't
stop gushing over how cute they were, more hats after Harry insisted the
weather was going to be cold and two sets of two pack toy story and little
dinosaurs pajamas.
 
Louis wondered if he was going to have enough space for all the blue, white and
light yellow blankets Harry was getting of different fabrics because according
to his parenting book it helped the baby's brain development to have different
fabrics to feel. He cooed at the tiny pair of tiny white soft sneakers, bibs
and piqué cap he added into the cart adding a fine knit white cardigan and a
pair of footed bodysuits himself.
 
"I think that's enough for now, they outgrow it pretty fast and we already got
a lot." Louis sighed watching Harry click the check out box, eyes widening at
the price about to tell Harry to take some out but Harry had already typed in
his credit card number and paid without hesitating.
 
"They'll get here in a week...I should go start painting his bedroom, I got the
paint you wanted yesterday on my way here from work." Harry smiled putting the
laptop away.
 
"I'll help you." Louis quickly said.
 
"Lou, the paint fumes are bad for you and Evan and I don't want you to get
hurt." Harry wrapped his arms around him hearing the front door opening and
Logan's loud footsteps.
 
Moments later Gemma walked in followed by Logan and Butercup by her side who
went straight to Louis putting his paws on his lap sniffing at his bloated
belly before licking his hand then laid down by his feet falling asleep. Logan
walked up to Louis trying to get on his lap wiggling around huffing when she
couldn't get any closer to him like she used to then gasped when the baby
kicked against her hand startling her a bit.
 
"Bubbie likes to kick you...that's not nice." Logan yawned.
 
"He's saying hi, that's the only way he can tell you he loves you for now."
Louis smiled running his fingers through her hair feeling him kicking again
against her small hand. "See? Even says he loves you and can't wait to meet
you."
 
"It's Bubbie daddy, his name is Bubbie...not Evan." Logan got up kissing the
top of his stomach then his cheek before crawling back to Gemma through the
couch.
 
"That's what we call him but his name is Evan, I call you bug but your name is
Logan." Harry explained.
 
"Oh. I have two names, does he have two names too daddy?" Logan asked grabbing
a section of Gemma's hair to braid it.
 
Gemma listened to their conversation smiling at how cute her niece was and how
much he loved her before speaking, "You haven't thought of a second name for
him?"
 
"I was thinking about Evan Caden but I want something different." Louis
thoughtfully said rubbing his stomach.
 
"Like what?" Harry asked pulling Louis to rest his head on his chest running
his fingers through his soft shiny hair.
 
"Owen...Henry? Landon?" Louis raised an eyebrow putting each name next to Evan
in his head.
 
"I like Landon because - because it's like London and we live in London, uncle
Liam told me...but it's a secret that he told me." Logan beamed wrapping her
arms around Gemma's neck as they laughed, she along with them.
 
"Say the whole name out loud Lou." Gemma suggested rubbing Logan's back.
 
"Umm okay, Evan Landon Styles-Tomlinson...sounds good but it's so long. Poor
thing when he learns how to spell it." Louis pouted.
 
"So you like it?" Harry asked.
 
"Yeah I love it. Do you?" Louis looked up at him.
 
"Yeah I love it too." He smiled leaning his head on top of Louis'.
 
"What are you guys doing for the rest of the day? Logan and I are going to bake
cupcakes...and then decorate them." Gemma poked her cheek earning a giggle and
a kiss on the forehead from Logan.
 
"I'm going to paint Evan's room, we already shopped for baby clothes so now all
we have to do is set up the nursery." Harry said getting ready to get up then
left to get the paint.
 
"Oh! Louis I hope you don't mind but Logan and I picked out some things for the
kiddo and we we want to show you them." Gemma said getting up with Logan in his
arms.
 
"Thank you. You didn't had to but thank you, let me go talk to Harry first but
I'll be right back." Louis said then walked toward Evan's room through the
kitchen door.
 
"I'm gonna paint the ceiling too." Harry announced as soon as he saw Louis
after changing into a pair of old jeans and an old tank top with a few holes,
his hair pulled back with a bandana as Louis tried to focus on what he was
saying instead of ogling his biceps and back muscles as he opened the container
of paint.
 
"O - Okay, I'm gonna go see if Gemma needs help with those cupcakes." Louis
licked his lips trying not to jump Harry's bones right there in their son's
nursery, he turned around about to walk out when his phone started ringing
again.
 
"Who is it?" Harry asked mixing the paint.
 
"Dr. Lane's office." Louis furrowed his brow putting it on speaker so Harry
could hear too worrying that something could be wrong. "Hello?"
 
"Louis it's Jacob, I just wanted to see how you were doing." He happily greeted
him while Louis couldn't help but notice the way Harry clenched his jaw mixing
the paint a little more aggressively.
 
"I'm doing great, thanks for worrying. Just a little worried about him s'all
but we're fine." Louis answered walking up to Harry lightly grabbing the hair
on the back of his head and started massaging his scalp with the tip of his
fingers.
 
"He'll be fine Lou...just know that if you ever need something or someone to
talk to I'm here. I - I know we haven't talked or seen each other in almost
five years and I was dumb to let you go but...maybe we could be friends, catch
up over lunch or something one of these days." Jacob said letting out a small
shaky breath at the end unaware that he was on speaker.
 
Louis tried to wrap his arm around Harry but he only felt air and empty space
when Harry moved away from him walking over to the farthest wall and began
painting ignoring them. He sighed and walked closer to him resting his forehead
in between his shoulder blades putting the phone off speaker before talking.
"Thank you. I - I have to go, we'll see you at our next appointment. Bye
Jacob." Louis said then hung up after Jacob did.
 
"He needs to move on." Harry muttered giving the wall long strokes with the
brush.
 
"What are you on about Haz? He just wanted to make sure we're fine and I'm
doing well, nothing else." Louis mumbled wrapping his arms around Harry's torso
kissing his back.
 
"Isn't obvious? He's still into you and can't let go which I think he should do
starting now. He's the one who broke up with you." Harry rolled his eyes
feeling Louis move away from him.
 
"Well he didn't had much of a choice after you beat him up." Louis muttered
before he could stop them wishing he could take them back and have the floor
swallow him the moment Harry stiffened and turned around wearing a blank
expression. "Harry..."
 
"No, it's okay. I know I ruined what you two had, it was selfish of me to break
you up with him...should've just stayed away and let you both live your lives
together in peace." Harry swallowed the painful lump that had formed in his
throat then turned around and continued painting.
 
"Harry I didn't mean it like that." Louis chewed on his bottom lip wishing
Harry would believe him.
 
Jacob was in the past and even if he was back Louis no longer had feelings for
him when Harry had and will always have his heart. He looked down then up again
when he felt Harry's eyes on him burning a hole through him nearly choking in
his own saliva at what Harry asked next.
 
"Were you in love with him? He was your first kiss after all."
 
"I - I..."
 
"Thought so...I'm sorry for fucking everything up." Harry gave him a sad smile.
 
"Harry you're being dramatic. Yes I loved him but not like that, he - he was
the one other than my friends who was always there for me after - after..."
 
"Say it! He was there to comfort you after I was a homophobic ass hole to you,
he was everything I never was. He was your knight in shining armor and I was
just your tormentor." Harry said not realizing he was shouting and towering
over Louis in that same threatening way he used to before a beating until he
saw Louis was crying.
 
"Lou..." Harry whispered raising his hand to reach out for him feeling chest
painfully tightening when Louis flinched taking a step back.
 
"You're an ass hole! I told you it's all in the past but you're the one who
can't move on." Louis shouted turning around to walk out of there as fast as
his feet could carry him wiping his tears away supporting his stomach with the
other.
 
"Louis." Harry pleaded going after him.
 
"Fuck you!" Louis shouted seeing through the stair railing down at the great
room where Gemma was carrying a crying Logan out to the deck with the dog after
them and when he locked eyes with his daughter's he saw the fear in them
pissing him off even more.
 
"Louis please...stop..." Harry followed him down the stairs making Louis walk
faster trying to get away from him and lock himself in his bedroom.
 
If Harry could go back in time and change what had happened from the moment
Louis hung up to Louis walking away from him he would do up in a heartbeat when
he saw Louis losing his balance almost at the bottom of the stairs trying to
hold onto something screaming Harry's name at the top of his lungs. Harry had
never moved that fast ever before in his life as he did in that moment managing
to grab the back of Louis' shirt stopping the fall grunting when his shoulder
made contact with the handrail trying to pull Louis back to him and stop
himself from falling down with and on top of him.
 
"Shh shh you're okay, you're okay." Harry repeated like a mantra while Louis
cried hysterically grabbing him by the arms digging his nails on his skin.
 
"Harry! I'm so - I'm so - rry." Louis started shaking gasping for air.
 
"Louis breathe, you have to calm down. Breathe with me, in, out." Harry grabbed
his face to make him look at him as he slowly inhaled then exhaled getting
Louis to calm down.
"Harry..." Louis sobbed hiding his face on Harry's chest still shaking feeling
Evan moving before he went still.
 
"Are you okay? Did you hit yourself, where does it hurt?" Harry asked wanting
to check but couldn't when Louis wrapped his arms around him crying harder.
 
He carefully picked him up from the steps cradling him against his chest
carrying him to their bedroom ignoring the pain shooting out from his shoulder
and set him down on the bed where Louis clung to him not wanting to let go.
Without saying anything he layed down next to him and wrapped his arms around
him shielding him from view with his body as he kissed his tears away
whispering I love you's until Louis calmed down enough to stop shaking but his
eyes were red and swollen, his face flushed and wet from the tears. He didn't
noticed he was crying too until Louis began wiping his tears off with his
sleeves and grabbed fistfulls of his tank top letting out a hiccup.
 
"I - I c - could have k - killed h - him." Louis hicupped, another wave of
tears rolling down his temple.
 
"He's okay Lou, you're both okay." Harry kissed his forehead. "I'm gonna call
Dr. Lane."
 
"Don't leave me, we're okay...he's - he's moving."
 
"I'm sorry, shouldn't have said those things. You almost got hurt because of
me, I'm sorry." Harry said feeling Louis' hand on his cheek.
 
"I shouldn't have walked out like that, I wasn't thinking. I love you...only
you."
 
"You know I love you too, I just don't want to lose you." Harry closed his
eyes.
 
"You're not going to lose me, never. Stay here..." Louis yawned closing his own
eyes relaxing in Harry's arms.
 
Louis smiled when Harry draped the covers over them and kissed his knuckles
falling asleep a few minutes later still a bit frightened while Harry started
crying again knowing both of them could have gotten seriously hurt all because
of his jealousy, he knew Louis loved him but still couldn't help but feel
helpless with Jacob around. He had been horrible to Louis while Jacob had been
loving and accepting towards him, had wiped away his tears when he was the one
to make him cry and that was something he couldn't forget.
 
"Yeah Bubbie, you're right... I'm an idiot. Your dad's an idiot." Harry mumbled
when he felt him move. "And you agree huh." Harry smiled when he kicked.
 
He tightened his grip on Louis and buried his face on Louis' hair smelling the
sweet scent of his shampoo deciding to sleep a little before going back to
painting falling asleep unaware of Gemma motioning to Logan to be quiet going
back to the kitchen after closing the door leaving them alone in their slumber
holding each other.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mqo9sf9V7t1rko18bo1_500_zps8f8ccf70.gif]
      
      
      
      
     Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mqo9sf9V7t1rko18bo1_500_zps8f8ccf70.gif
      
     Jacob:
     [ photo PicsArt_1400980189664_zpsb9f53ce2.jpg]
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** A moment of love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss *****
Chapter Notes
     I am sorry it took me forever to update, this time it was pure
     laziness and I'm sorry.
     I hope you like the chapter. Also, I have a feeling I already used
     that gif on another chapter so if I did and you remember please let
     me know. Enjoy. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Harry slowly opened his eyes taking a deep breath seeing Louis still half
asleep next to him and after kissing the tip of his nose he slowly got up
fixing the covers around him then made his way to the kitchen where he could
smell the cupcakes baking. When he walked in Gemma immediately looked at him
from where she was mixing the icing for the cupcakes giving him a sad look
before giving Logan more pasta shaped in elbows and a bottle of glue. She was
sitting on the breakfast table with her back to Harry next to Gemma who was at
the head of the table still letting out tiny hiccups and her nose and eyes were
a little red.
 
"Watcha doing princess?" He asked taking a seat next to her leaning closer to
her to kiss her forehead.
 
"A macaloni heart...It's for daddy and Bubbie." Logan mumbled grabbing the
bottle of glittery blue glue soaking the white construction paper with it
before spreading it around with her finger then carefully added the macaroni
one by one.
 
"I'm sure they're going to love it." Harry smiled.
 
"This one's for you." Logan looked up at him giving him a piece of white
construction paper with his very own macaroni heart and the words 'My curly'
written in her own handwriting on the lower right corner of the paper
surrounded by messy tiny red hearts making his heart swell with joy and love.
 
"I love it sweety. Thank you, it's beautiful." Harry genuinely said
complimenting her work making her smile pleased with his reaction before going
back to working on the one for Louis.
 
"Harry could I talk to you?" Gemma got up walking to the kitchen island where
the cupcakes where cooling off in a rack followed by her brother.
 
"What is it Gems?" He questioned her watching her setting the bowl aside.
 
"Are you and Louis okay? Harry what happened? I-I heard Louis crying and then I
saw you carrying him to your bedroom...Logan was very upset, she heard you guys
screaming at each other." Gemma wrapped an arm around him when his lips
trembled and he began tearing up getting worried that something could be really
wrong.
 
"It was my fault Gems. We were fighting and he almost fell down the stairs...if
I wasn't such a jealous idiot then none of that would've happened." Harry hid
his face on his hands feeling his sister rubbing his back.
 
"Both of them are okay right?" Gemma began panicking.
 
"I managed to stop him from falling but...I was so scared, they could have
gotten seriously hurt, we could have lost our son."
 
"If you don't mind me asking, why were you fighting? It's not like you to fight
out of nowhere."
 
"You remember Jacob? Louis' ex boyfriend?" Harry asked then continued when she
nodded. "He's the ultrasound technician in Dr. Lane's office and before Louis
and I started fighting he called him and told him that if he ever needed
something or someone to talk to that he was there for him then said he was dumb
to let him go asking if they could be friends and catch up over lunch. I told
Louis he needed to move on because he's the one who broke up with him and Louis
said he didn't had much choice after I beat him up."
 
"Harry." Gemma groaned smacking the back of his head.
 
"Yes, I know I'm an idiot and that I have no reason to be jealous but they
dated Gemma, they kissed, they held hands and he was good to him when I was a
monster. I can't help it because I'm not good enough for Louis, never will be
and I'm scared he's going to leave me. I'm scared he's going to take the kids
and go back to him." Harry let it all out looking like a small child scared of
everything and insecure.
 
"He's not going to leave you knucklehead, he loves you and your both finally
happy and have the perfect family you both always wanted. He's not going to
throw away all of that and he's right Harry, you can't move on but you have to
if you want to make this work. He forgave you Haz, he moved on and you have to
do it too for the sake of your children and Louis." Gemma wrapped her arm
around his waist letting him rest his head on her shoulder.
 
"I know he forgave me and I'm so grateful he did but that doesn't mean I'll
ever forgive myself for what I did to him, all that pain I put him through...I
wish I could go back and change it all. I still...I still have nightmares about
it, they're not as frequent as they used to be but they're still there and
instead of waking up sweating and trying to breathe I just lay there frozen
until they go away." Harry closed his eyes then opened them again.
 
"You need to talk to him Harry. Communicate...don't just bottle everything up
like you already did, it's not just you and Louis that you have to think about
anymore...you have a daughter and a son on the way who need you. Two kids that
need both of their parents so talk to him." She adviced kissing his cheek
before letting go of him.
 
"I will after I'm sure of what I want to say, right now I have to finish Evan's
room." Harry smiled a little then left after giving Logan a hug and a kiss.
 
A few hours later just before dinner Louis woke up from his slumber trying to
get closer to Harry frowning when he felt the spot next to him empty and cold
then laid there trying to fully wake up. He slowly sat up running his eyes then
looked around slowly tearing up when he remembered he could have lost his baby
boy wrapping his arms around his stomach out of instinct only wanting to
protect him.
 
"I hope you're doing okay in there baby...I promise I'm going to be more
careful next time. I want you to stay in there until you're ready to come out
so your other daddy and I can hold you. I hope you're not blind but just know
that if you are we'll still love you, I will always love you no matter what
sweety." Louis spoke in a hushed tone rubbing circles on his belly with his
thumbs. "I bet you're gonna be so handsome like daddy curly and I honestly
wouldn't mind if you have blue eyes like me, your sister has green eyes you
know...I think you having my eyes will be lovely. Is kicking me your way to
tell me you agree? Yeah I thought so."
 
He stayed in bed for a few more minutes before getting up making his way to the
bathroom and after relieving himself and washing his hands making his way
towards the kitchen petting the dog on his way there a little nervous about
seeing Harry then took a deep breath knowing he wasn't mad and they needed to
talk. He was disappointed when Harry wasn't in there leaving him wondering
where he could be, he smiled seeing Gemma sitting on a barstool reading a
magazine and Logan by her feet playing with the hot wheels Harry had gotten her
after she had to pick between a Barbie doll and the cars.
 
"Hey..." He shyly greeted them knowing they had heard the fight.
 
"Hey Lou, how are you feeling?" Gemma smiled getting up to hug him careful not
to step on Logan.
 
"I'm feeling good...You know what happened don't you?" Louis asked when he
noticed she looked concerned.
 
"Yeah...Harry told me and I'm just glad you and the baby are okay."
 
"I shouldn't have run off like that, wasn't watching where I was going." Louis
looked down in shame.
 
"What matters is that you're both okay and I wanted to know if you guys want to
go out for dinner. I already asked Harry and he said only if you're feeling up
to it." Gemma pouted silently begging with her eyes.
 
"Okay...let me go change and change Logan." Louis said then laughed when Gemma
cheered and grabbed his cheeks smacking a kiss to his forehead.
 
"Yes! Let me go tell Harry to get ready then I need to get ready." Gemma ran
out shouting at Harry to get ready leaving Louis and Logan behind.
 
"Hi baby, what are you doing?" Louis asked wanting to sit on the floor with her
but then he would need help getting up again.
 
"Racing. I made this for you and Bubbie." Logan got up to give him the art
project she had been working on earlier.
 
"You made this for me and Bubble?" Louis gasped looking at the heart filled
with macaroni.
 
"Yes. I made another one for daddy curly." Logan smiled trying to hug Louis
around the waist settling with grabbing him by the shirt resting her left cheek
against his tummy.
 
"It's perfect and I love it, thank you baby." Louis genuinely said picking her
up even though Harry didn't allow it anymore unless he was sitting.
 
"I love it too." Logan sighed wrapping her arms around his neck.
 
"Let's go change you out of these clothes so we can go out to dinner." Louis
kissed her cheek.
 
He set her down after she gave him a kiss and grabbed her hand to go upstairs
to her room and when he had to go up the stairs he did it as carefully as he
could holding tight onto the handrail and Logan's hand with his other hand. He
knew she could do it on her own but at the moment he was still paranoid. He
walked by Evan's nursery stopping when he saw Harry standing in the middle of
it admiring the ceiling and three out of the four walls already painted a soft
baby blue. He had paint stains all over his tank top and jeans as well as a
little bit on his cheek when Louis walked in pulling Logan with him wrapping
his arms around him startling him.
 
"Do you like it?" Harry asked. A glint of hope in his eyes.
 
"I love it. I was thinking maybe I could paint a few clouds on the walls."
Louis kissed the back of his neck smiling when Harry grabbed his hands and
laced their fingers together.
 
"That would be lovely." He responded turning around seeing Louis and Logan
sucking on her thumb looking around.
 
"Gemma wants to go out for dinner, go get changed while I change Logan." Louis
gave him a quick kiss then pushed him to the door choosing to go to her room
through the bathroom.
 
~*~
 
"Table for four." Harry smiled at the host.
 
She led them to a table in a well lit and spacious part of the restaurant
asking what they wanted to drink leaving the menus behind. Both Gemma and Louis
ended up ordering Fetuccine Alfredo while Harry ordered Chicken Alfredo for
himself and chicken fingers and pasta for Logan who was busy playing rock,
paper, scissors with Gemma. After the food arrived Harry was happily sitting
next to Louis and in front of Gemma and Logan with his arm around his shoulders
feeding him some of his chicken after Louis had stated the baby wanted some
when he noticed Jacob sitting at a table across from them with a young woman
occasionally looking at them.
 
He fought the urge to roll his eyes and instead pulled Louis closer to him
kissing his temple then his hair making Louis smile while chewing the chicken
Harry had just fed him. The whole meal went by smoothly until Logan spilled
sauce on her skirt and started tearing up not wanting to have a stain on it
until Gemma took her to the bathroom to clean it up leaving them alone. Harry
tried to ignore Jacob focusing only on Louis rubbing his tummy talking to their
baby and whispering on his ear how much he loved him and their babies while
Louis smiled pulling him in by the back of his neck to give him a kiss, both of
them oblivious to Jacob watching them with a hurt expression directing his gaze
the other way where he wouldn't be able to see their happy family anymore.
 
"Ready to go?" Harry asked as soon as Gemma and Logan came back already having
paid for their meals.
 
"Yes brother, we're ready." Gemma said getting up again after just sitting
down.
 
"We parked too far away, wait here while I go get the car." Harry said helping
Louis up whose feet were swollen and killing him.
 
"Yeah sure go ahead." Gemma nodded grabbing Logan's hand following them near
the exit where Louis took a seat on a chair followed by Gemma setting Logan
down in between them. "Ugh I have to take this call, I'll be right back." Gemma
said pointing to her phone then got up walking to the bathroom.
 
"You and I are gonna wait here love." Louis managed to grab Logan by the arm
when she tried to follow her.
 
"Okay...daddy I want to go home." She sighed leaning her head against Louis'
stomach poking it a bit and giggling when Evan would kick back.
 
"Let's go look at the fishes." Louis smiled getting up to observe the aquarium
near the entrance pulling his daughter with him, he took his phone out and took
a picture of her smiling while observing the colorful fishes.
 
"Louis."
 
"Yeah? Oh...hi Jacob." Louis turned around to see Jacob standing a few feet
away from them just as Logan wrapped her arms around him and hid her face on
his belly peering up at him a few times.
 
"How have you been? Everything okay with the baby?" He asked then lowered his
gaze to look at Logan and Louis' swollen stomach with Harry's child.
 
"Good and he's fine. Are you here by yourself?" Louis asked hoping for him to
leave before Harry or Gemma showed up.
 
"No, I'm here with my friend. Hi Logan." Jacob smiled down at her finding her
adorable.
 
"Hi." She mumbled looking at him then at Louis before hiding her face again.
 
"She's gorgeous, has a bit of you and Harry...especially him." Jacob said
offering the lollipop he had gotten for himself to Logan who took it after
Louis nodded.
 
"Thank you." Logan smiled a little trying to open it until Louis took it to
open it then gave it back to her.
 
"Are you excited about your baby brother? I bet you're gonna be the best big
sister ever." Jason crouched down in front of her. "He's going to be the
luckiest baby for having sister like you and a daddy like Louis."
 
"I know." She answered as if stating the obvious. "Bubbie loves me and I love
him 'cause he's mine. Daddies are having Bubbie 'cause they love each other,
daddy Louis told me."
 
"That's...nice." Jacob gave her a sad smile.
 
"No kicking Bubbie." She giggled poking his belly.
 
"I'm gonna go. It was nice seeing you, I'll see you at your next appointment."
Jacob quickly said before leaving just as Gemma came back from the bathroom.
 
"Harry back yet?" She asked just as Harry walked through the door.
 
They finally got in the car where Harry kept playing with the radio until he
got fed up and instead plugged in his phone smiling when pour some sugar on me,
the rock of ages version, came on leaving it there only turning the volume up
while Louis and Gemma stared at him and Logan began to move her head from side
to side looking out the window.
 
"What are we even listening to?" Louis asked covering his belly with his arms
as if trying to keep the baby from listening to it.
 
"Pour some sugar on me...Louis we used to listen to it all the time to annoy
Gemma." Harry said in a duh tone then smiled when Louis remembered nodding and
smiling.
 
"Oh my God turn it off." Gemma groaned covering Logan's ears with her hands.
"Louis, Harry's going to ruin your child's music taste. Do something."
 
"Love is like a bomb, baby c'mon get it on livin' like a lover with a radar
phone, looking like a tramp, like a video vamp. Demolition woman, can I be your
man?" Harry started singing as soon as the song started over just to annoy her.
 
"Shut up, no one likes that song or you singing." Gemma complained getting even
more annoyed when Harry continued singing louder. "Logan hates it too."
 
"I like it daddy." Logan chirped giggling when she saw Gemma's betrayed
expression.
 
"Ha! In your face sister." Harry exclaimed turning the volume down a bit.
 
"Of course you do babycakes, you're fifty percent Harry so you're forced to
like what he likes but don't you worry because you're also fifty percent Louis
and he's got brains unlike your father the knucklehead...you're all good."
Gemma said using a fake sad tone running her fingers through her curls.
 
"Says the girl who used to think Ralph the elf was real." Harry smirked when he
heard her gasping.
 
"You traitor! You promised to never talk about it ever again." Gemma whined
while Louis looked back and forth between them in amusement.
 
"Oops." Was all he said.
 
"Loser."
 
"Wannabe."
 
"That's enough you two." Louis interrupted just as Gemma opened her mouth.
 
"Yeah Harold...just chill out bro." Genma smirked going back to Logan.
 
~*~
 
The following weekend was hectic trying to get ready for their families and
friends to turn up also dealing with Louis' moodiness, increased cravings and
sex drive that Harry couldn't really complain about since he was as insatiable
as Louis was. They tried to be sneaky sticking to morning and shower quickies
almost getting caught by Logan once when she had slammed the door open just as
they were done putting their clothes back on demanding breakfast because she
was hungry and auntie Gemma was in the shower. Everything was ready for their
Saturday afternoon get together waiting for their parents, the girls and their
friends to get there while Logan kept asking Louis when was Alex going to get
there.
 
******
 
"Look at you, baby you're glowing." Jay cooed hugging her son as tight as she
could.
 
"Got a date for my grandson's arrival?" Mark asked.
 
"Around November 20th." Louis smiled.
 
"Oh Louis, come here and let me hug you." Anne pulled him into a hug tearing up
at seeing Louis' not so small baby bump. "Three more months to go huh?"
 
"Yeah! Harry and I already set up the nursery and he painted the walls while I
painted some clouds. I'll show you it later." Louis proudly told her.
 
"Harry's so excited." Anne smiled.
 
Louis showed them the house getting compliments while his sisters clung to him
cooing at the nursery where they still had to buy a bedding for the crib but to
Louis it looked beautiful. On his way to the great room he heard Mark and Robin
talking about the many things they were going to teach their grandson. When it
was time to tell them about Evan's possible condition Anne had burst out crying
calming down when Harry hugged her telling her it would be okay also hugging
Jay. After they calmed down Anne was left alone with Louis helping him with
cutting the cake Gemma had baked.
 
"How have you been feeling?" Anne asked glancing at Louis.
 
"Great. He does like to kick up a storm, especially when I'm trying to sleep.
He's kicking right now." Louis smiled.
 
"Really?"
 
"Yeah...here, just press right there." Louis grabbed her hand placing it over
the spot where Evan was kicking hearing her let out a gasp followed by tears.
 
"I'm sorry...I just...this is the first time I feel one of my baby's baby kick.
My grandbaby, I can't wait to hold him" Anne wiped away a few tears.
 
"Don't cry, he's just saying 'hi Ninna'." Louis smiled hugging her when she
started crying again.
 
After making sleeping arrangements it was decided Gemma would be sleeping in
Logan's other bed while Anne and Robin took the other bedroom and Jay and Mark
downstairs in the basement or Logan's play room where there was a spare bedroom
and bathroom. Logan had insisted on sleeping with the twins on an air mattress
while the two older girls shared another one.
 
The next to arrive were Liam and Eleanor who by request of Louis began telling
the story of how they started dating soon after Zayn, Niall, David and Brian
got there leaving Alex to be taken by Logan to play with the twins and
Buttercup while Lottie was deep in conversation with Gemma and Fizzy watched
the kids. Turns out Eleanor made the first move kissing Liam when he wouldn't
stop talking about the weather then proceeded to apologize with a bright red
face telling him she really liked him and enjoyed spending time with him but it
was okay if he didn't liked her getting surprised when Liam kissed her back.
Niall and especially Zayn teased her about it until Liam made them stop
directing the conversation somewhere else.
 
******
 
"Logan for God's sake put that back where you found it." Harry let out at
unmanly shriek when he saw what she had in her hand.
 
"Look daddy, it's wiggly." Logan giggled while Alex poked it with a stick.
 
"Wiggly and gross. C'mon, we gotta go eat or we're gonna starve. You have to
let her go." Harry crouched down in front of them when she flat out refused to
do it pouting and hiding the worm against her chest.
 
"But she'll be lonely and sad." Logan pouted while Alex furiously nodded doing
everything she wanted him to do.
 
"No she won't." Harry insisted looking at both kids.
 
"She's going to die...I don't want her to die." Alex started tearing up wiping
his hands on his black iron man shirt setting Logan up in tears too.
 
"She's not going to die, she has daddies that are looking for her and they're
sad because they can't find her and she misses them too. You have to let her go
so she can go back to her daddies." Harry explained.
 
"Okay...go back to your daddies. Go." Logan crouched down putting her down near
the bushes where she had found it.
 
"Okay now that it's all settled lets go wash our hands." Harry smiled picking
them up to take them to wash their hands.
 
"I will ride, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky. I will fly, chase
the wind and touch the sky." Logan and Alex sang in unison while all three of
them washed their hands in the kitchen sink.
 
"I don't want you touching them again, got it?" Harry told her after letting
Alex go back to his parents explaining what had happened.
 
"Chill out bro." Logan huffed then took off running to get the seat next to
Alex and Daisy leaving a flabbergasted Harry behind.
 
"You okay Haz?" Louis asked walking up to him holding a few plates then back at
Logan.
 
"She just told me to chill out and called me bro."
 
"We'll talk to her but let's go eat for now." Louis chuckled letting him take
the plates.
 
"Uncle Zayn, I touched the worm!" Logan exclaimed getting a high five from
Zayn.
 
"Zayn! Don't encourage her, that's gross." Eleanor scrunched up her nose in
disgust.
 
"Oh c'mon El, you licked dirt when we were eleven." Zayn said making her blush.
 
"Niall dared me." She defended herself.
 
"And you did it, no questions asked." Niall smirked.
 
"I've done it before, we should be proud we accomplished something they all
didn't." Brian smiled at Eleanor while David talked to Louis exchanging tips on
how to sleep more comfortable since Louis wasn't getting any sleep lately.
 
Both families ended up going back home Sunday afternoon leaving Logan in tears
when Gemma had to go back too and their parents had left heartbroken but
knowing they would love their grandson no matter what after Louis and Harry had
told them he could be blind. Louis' sisters had made him promise to call them
as soon as Evan got there then proceeded to shower Logan with kisses and give
Harry and Louis a hug touching Louis' belly one more time to feel the baby move
before they left.
 
~*~
 
"Can't you change it to another day? Grace, Louis has an appointment and I
don't want to miss it...I'm pretty sure you can work something out." Louis
heard Harry speaking on the phone when he walked in to tell him he and Logan
were ready. "Grace...the appointment is today, they can't just expect me to
drop everything for it...well Louis is more important...I know I really need it
and I'm in no position to reject it right now but it's his 24th week check up
and I don't want to miss anything."
 
"Logan and I can go on our own if you want to." Louis spoke startling Harry
after he ended the call.
 
"No, I told Grace to cancel. The pay is good but they should've let me know at
least a week before. Are you ready?" Harry wrapped his arms around him nuzzling
his face on his hair.
 
"Yeah. Harry I think you should go, you're the only one bringing money into the
house and if you're not gonna let me pay for anything then you need to go."
Louis insisted resting his head on his shoulder hearing Logan's loud laughs
mingling with Buttercup's barks having left her in the foyer chasing each
other.
 
"But I don't want you to go alone Lou, I want to be there with you." Harry
pulled back and pouted to try and convince him.
 
"I'm not gonna go alone, Logan's going with me plus I have to go the grocery
store 'cause we're running low on food then I have to buy Logan's school
supplies but I'll bring you pictures and a DVD of the ultrasound." Louis
promised.
 
"Are you sure you'll be okay driving there..."
 
"I am...I used to drive myself to appointments when Eleanor or the boys
couldn't go with me. I'll be fine." Louis gave him a chaste kiss nuzzling his
face against his neck when he looked down.
 
"Okay, but text me when you get there and when you get to other places and
here." Harry kissed him one more time before they pulled apart to call Grace
back and give Logan a kiss on the way out.
 
~*~
 
"Hi Louis, Logan. I expected Harry to be here too." Jacob greeted them with a
big smile and a glint of something in his eyes seeing only Louis and Logan
waiting.
 
"He had to work but he'll definitely be here next time." Louis said laying down
on the exam table after making sure Logan would stay put on her chair with his
phone in her hand.
 
"Hello Louis. Look at you young lady, you're getting bigger and bigger
everyday." Dr. Lane greeted them walking in just as Jacob was about to pour the
gel over his belly.
 
"Hi." Louis smiled.
 
"How have you been feeling. Any new symptoms?" She asked feeling around on his
stomach then motioned for Jacob to start the ultrasound stopping her
conversation to listen to the baby's heartbeats.
 
"I've been getting leg cramps during the night, my back hurts and my ankles and
feet are really swollen." Louis explained turning to look at his and Harry's
baby smiling when he saw him sucking his thumb.
 
"Common pregnancy symptoms but they should go away soon. His heartbeats are
strong and right now he's the size of a cantaloupe, overall he's perfectly
healthy...oh and I also want to do a glucose test to see how well your body
handles sugar.." She said before giving him a bottle of Glucola after Jacob
gently cleaned up his stomach.
 
"I'll go get your pictures." Jacob smiled.
 
"Wait! Could you get me a video too? I want to show Harry." Louis said watching
Jacob's smile disappear then nod before he left the room.
 
An hour later Louis' test came back normal and after wrestling his phone out of
Logan's hands he sent Harry a text telling him they were both completely
healthy as he got ready to leave giving the phone back to his daughter. He was
mentally planning what to make for dinner as well as remembering he also had to
buy her a backpack for school since it was a week away and buy a few things for
the baby when he heard Jacob calling his name.
 
"Do you have a minute?" He asked.
 
"Something wrong?" Louis asked.
 
"No...I just wanted to talk."
 
"About what?"
 
"About us." Jacob nearly pleaded.
 
"Jacob...there's nothing to talk about-"
 
"I know but I just need to know a few things, that's all?"
 
"What things?" Louis asked holding Logan's hand tighter seeing her busy with
his phone.
 
"Did-did you ever loved me? Were you cheating on me with Harry while we were
still dating?" He asked looking down at Logan as if pointing out the result of
his fling was right there standing next to Louis holding his hand then looked
back at Louis.
 
"Seriously?" Louis asked hiding her behind him. "How dare you even think that.
I never cheated on you." He snapped getting annoyed.
 
"She was conceived around the time we were dating and we never slept together
thanks to Harry...was it because you were already sleeping with him instead?"
Jacob desperately asked.
 
"I never cheated on you...and you broke up with me so what I did with my life
after that is none of your business." Louis glared.
 
"I broke up with you because he threatened to beat you up worse if I
didn't...I-I was just trying to protect you and then you went and slept with
him. Not only that but you were stupid enough to let him knock you up." Jacob
spat unable to control himself.
 
"And if I did so what? It's none of your business." Louis took a step back.
 
"It would've hurt less if it had been someone else, not him. He made your life
hell and you went and started a family with him. I was in love with you Louis."
Jacob finally let the tears fall down making Louis feel horrible.
 
"I'm sorry...you knew how I felt about him and you. You broke up with me then
left town the next day and it really hurt because you didn't even said goodbye.
If you had stayed there until the last week of school to wait for me and walk
me home like you used to then maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation.
It's been five years now and what's done is done...can't go back now." Louis
said trying not to cry.
 
"I know...can-can we forget all about it then? I just needed to say that."
Jacob looked down accepting he had lost him when he left him.
 
"Yeah, it's all in the past. I-I have to go." Louis sighed.
 
"Yeah, I'll see you here in four weeks." Jacob nodded watching Louis leave
pulling Logan with him who looked back smiling and waving at him and all he
could do was smile back and wave back. She was not the one to blame, her other
father was.
 
That night Louis showed Harry the video smiling when Harry hugged him seeing
Evan sucking on his thumb then went to bed after Logan showed him her new
backpack for school telling him that Alex was in her class too after David had
called to let Louis know since he worked at the school's main office. Louis
slept next to Harry in his arms resting his stomach on Harry's own one trying
to stop feeling guilty when he kept remembering Jacob letting his guard down.
He swore to never let him find out what had really happened when he stopped
walking him home not wanting the past to come back when he was happy with the
father of his children, all he wanted was to be happy and forget about
everything else.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mqo9sf9V7t1rko18bo1_500_zps8f8ccf70.gif]
      
      
      
      
     Direct: http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/
     tumblr_mqo9sf9V7t1rko18bo1_500_zps8f8ccf70.gif.html
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** We'd remember tonight, for the rest of our lives *****
Chapter Notes
     This is it you guys! The song I was just listening to while typing
     and I got the chapter title from it. I hope you guys like it. Enjoy!
     :)
      
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUIxUGetv44
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Louis rushed around the kitchen wanting to leave it clean watching Logan from
time to time slowly eating her oatmeal while Harry showered after going for a
run around the neighborhood as soon as a cardiologist and Dr. Summers had given
him the okay to do so. It was Logan's first day of school and the more time she
took to finish her breakfast the more Louis thought she was stalling after she
had figured out during the weekend that they were only going to drop her off
and leave her there from nine in the morning till twelve thirty at noon. She
had been taking selfies with Harry making the craziest faces so they could send
one to Gemma when Harry accidentally let it slip out.
 
"You done eating? You still have to put your shoes on." Louis asked as he
loaded the dishwasher.
 
"Not yet." She mumbled.
 
Louis sighed trying to be patient with his daughter going back to cleaning then
after he was done he took a seat at the breakfast bar next to Logan typing a
list of all the things he and Harry still had to get for Evan having decided to
get them while Logan was in school. They wanted to get everything now that
Louis was nearing his 26th week and the end of his sixth month mark. He hadn't
mentioned what Jacob had told him not wanting to create a conflict between them
and instead forgot about it focusing only on his family.
 
"You guys ready?" Harry walked in freshly showered grabbing a banana from the
fruit bowl.
 
"Not yet." Logan sighed then swallowed a spoonful of oatmeal.
 
"It's eight thirty Logan, you needed to eat faster...and put your shoes on."
Harry kissed the top of her head before giving Louis his full attention kissing
him. "Are you done with it?"
 
"Yeah. You feeling okay after that run?" Louis asked placing a hand over his
chest where his heart was.
 
"Never been better...and seeing you both made it even better." He smiled
wrapping his arms around him kissing the top of his head.
 
"Love you." Louis whispered.
 
"I love you too."
 
"Okay, we gotta go or you're going to be late for your first day of school.
Aren't you excited!?" Louis exclaimed then frowned at the bored expression she
gave him then the teary one she directed towards Harry.
 
"Daddy I don't want to go to school...I want to stay here with you and daddy
Louis and Bubbie and Buttercup." Logan lifted her arms up in the air wrapping
them around Harry's neck when he picked her up.
 
"Why not? Yesterday you said you were a big girl and big girls have to go to
school." Harry pecked her cheek.
 
"Auntie Gemma and auntie El don't go to school, Ninna and Nana don't go to
school...I don't have to go to school." Logan insisted playing with Harry's
necklace.
 
"They went to school but they're done because they're old and you're not old,
daddy and I went to school too but we don't have to go anymore because we're
old and now we work." Harry explained as he crouched down to grab her light
blue and gray vans along with her socks to put them on thanking the gods she
was already dressed up in a pair of jeans and a white print top with light blue
zebras design.
 
"I work and you go to school...Bubbie and daddy have to go too." Logan grinned
proud of herself for solving the issue.
 
"You have to go to school first so you can work and Bubbie's still in my tummy
but when he comes out he won't be able to go because he'll be a little baby.
You didn't had to go to school when you came out of my tummy because you were a
baby too." Louis explained getting up to get his wallet so they could head out
now that she had her shoes on and bag on her back with a snack inside of it
along with the rest of her school supplies.
 
"I came out of your tummy too?" Logan gasped eyeing his stomach with wide
skeptical eyes.
 
"You did love...and you used to kick a whole lot more than your brother does."
Louis smiled grabbing her hand walking to the garage with Harry following.
 
"And you had me like you're gonna have Bubbie because you and daddy love each
other so much when I was made in your tummy?" She asked just as Louis picked
her up to help her in the car making him freeze.
 
He turned his head around to look at Harry who was looking back at them with
wide shiny eyes, a sign that he wanted to cry. Louis gave him a tiny reassuring
smile motioning for him to start the car then turned back to Logan to buckle
her up.
 
"Yeah, daddy and I love each other so much and that's why we made you inside my
tummy like we made Bubbie." Louis answered kissing her forehead before closing
the door and walking to the passenger's side waiting for Harry to drive.
 
They made their way to the school listening to pour some sugar on me or the
sugar song like Logan called it and Louis couldn't help but notice how Evan
would stay still during sex or while it was playing since Harry played it so
often Logan knew it left and right. She was singing along with Harry and
giggling until they parked and Logan refused to get out of the car holding
tight onto the seatbelt while Harry tried to pry it out of her hands. He
finally managed to get her out and set her down as soon as she saw some of the
other kids willingly walking into the building holding hands with one or both
their parents then looked at her own grabbing their hands as if saying she was
ready. As they got closer and closer to her classroom Louis started feeling as
if he was giving her away and would never see his baby girl ever again and
began thinking about grabbing her and making a run for it to go back home so
all three of them could cuddle in bed all morning with the dog who was left in
his cage in the laundry room.
 
"Harry, maybe we should wait another year...yeah let's wait another year."
Louis looked over at Harry almost panicking at having to leave his most
precious possession behind with strangers.
 
"Louis is just for three and a half hours from Monday to Friday. She'll be fine
and this year is the right one for her to start school, not the next one or the
one after that." Harry lazily smiled trying not to freak out himself.
 
"I just...yeah you're right. I'm just going through separation anxiety and
look...she's all fine. She won't even miss us after we're gone because she's
gonna have a lot of fun...without us." Louis took a deep breath before they
walked into her assigned classroom.
 
They were greeted by a colorful beach themed classroom where the white board
had black squares of black paper at the end on either side with pictures and in
the middle of the white board 'Welcome to Pre K' was spelled in different color
letters. On either side of the board there was a bulletin board and in front of
it a few tables for four with markers and name strips. They were amazed at how
perfectly everything was organized including the different learning centers
that were color coded. Pink for reading, blue for writing, orange for art,
purple for math, yellow for science, red for sensory/discovery and green for
dramatic play. Louis just knew he had picked the right school and having had
Logan on the waiting list for two years had been worth it. She was still
holding hands with them looking around the classroom with curious eyes until
she spotted Alex sitting at one of the tables next to a dark haired girl
wearing a light pink dress holding his little hand.
 
"Logan!" Alex nearly shouted quickly letting go of her hand to run to her going
back to the table pulling her with him making her seat next to him on his other
side.
 
"Hello, I'm Mrs. Teasdale. Your daughter's teacher." A blond cheery woman
greeted them shaking their hands as they introduced themselves.
 
"Don't worry, she's going to be okay. Alex, Lux and Tabitha are great kids and
I'm sure she'll get along with them just fine." She reassured them noticing
their worried looks as they noticed the cute little blond girl sitting with
them.
 
"She's a social butterfly." Harry said with pride in his voice watching her
running back to them just as Mrs. Teasdale left to greet other parents
congratulating them on their baby.
 
"Bye daddies, I love you lots." Logan tried to wrap her arms around both of
them then kissed Louis' belly. "I love you too Bubbie, don't come out when I'm
not there."
 
"Bye baby, Bubbie and I love you too...I'll see you later." Louis hugged her
tight kissing the top of her head then both of her cheeks.
 
"Be a good girl lovebug, I love you too the moon and back." Harry gave her a
watery smile crouching down to hug her and kiss her forehead feeling his chest
tightening knowing she was growing way too fast while Louis noticed the girl
that had been holding Alex's hand looking at them with an annoyed look.
 
After making sure Logan was back in her seat they left but not before saying
goodbye to her teacher and a quick hello to David and Brian who was still there
in the main office saying his goodbye for the day to his husband. As soon as
they were in the car they drove straight to Babies R Us already having
registered a few days before making it easier for them with all the discounts
and offers choosing to get a bedding set for the crib first then go for the
diapering, bath and feeding items they were going to need.
 
They passed by the safety section only getting a baby monitor already having
outlet covers and plugs set around the house and because the cart was already
full and Louis wanted to keep themselves from buying unnecessary items Evan
didn't needed like the ten more bodysuits Harry was holding only letting him
get a pack of three blue, white and striped mittens. He couldn't help but let
Harry buy an infant cradle and swing, a baby bouncer, carrier and a play mat
for when Evan gets older.
 
"But it's a crib soother and a mobile all in sale for the price of one." Harry
insisted holding onto the items for dear life pleading with his eyes.
 
"Gemma and our mums already got him plenty of toys and more clothes, he doesn't
need any more Harry." Louis sighed watching him put them back.
 
"Fine but- hey, aren't those like Mr. Curls?" Harry pointed behind Louis where
there were plenty of the teddy bears.
 
"Oh they still make them, you know, they personalize them with the child's
initials. That's why Logan's has a pink L and H...I'm gonna get him one with a
blue E and L." Louis smiled so big all Harry could do was nod and stare like a
dumb ass.
 
While they waited for the teddy bear to be ready they busied themselves looking
for an infant car seat and ended up buying one in blue and dark grey with
little owls in a brown background where his head should go along with a
matching stroller because according to Harry he really wanted one for when they
go on walks or shopping at department stores. By the time they had paid for
everything and Harry had gotten a toy for Logan it was time to pick her up, she
greeted them with a big smile on her face then left waving goodbye to her
teacher and her seat mates.
 
*****
 
"I like Lux but Tabitha is mean daddies, she pushed me and wouldn't let me hold
Alex's hand. I always hold his hand and his daddies are nice...but it's okay
'cause I hold Lux's hand and did you know Mrs. Teasdale is her mummy. Tabitha
says a mummy and a daddy are better but I like two daddies. Women are so
complicated...that's why I'm not a women." Logan dramatically sighed.
 
"You mean you're not a woman lovebug, women is used for when you're talking
about more than one. And no, you're not a woman, you're my little girl." Harry
explained smiling at her, adoration showing in his eyes as he prepared lunch
and Louis went through her backpack putting aside all the papers he and Harry
had to fill out and sign.
 
"Oh."
 
"I know you hold his hand love but if Tabitha pushes you again you go and tell
Mrs. Teasdale if she doesn't stop when you ask her too." Louis frowned
remembering the girl.
 
"And you tell us if she keeps doing it." Harry continued not liking at all that
his daughter was being pushed around.
 
"Aww, did Mrs. Teasdale take this today?" Louis cooed at the picture of Logan
holding a chalkboard with her name, the date of her first day of school and pre
k written on it showing it to them.
 
"Yes, it's for you and daddy." Logan nodded before going back to coloring on
the worksheet she had been given to do for fun but deemed important so Harry
could put it on the fridge.
 
"This is going on the fridge so everyone can see how cute you are." Louis
smiled getting up then abruptly stopped halfway there, hand flying to his
stomach when he felt a mild contraction already knowing they were Braxton
Hicks.
 
"Lou are you okay?" Harry asked putting the grilled sandwiches in three
different plates.
 
"Yeah...just one of those contractions." Louis said as the tightening in his
lower stomach disappeared then turned around when he heard a plate dropping on
the counter.
 
"What?! It's too early! Louis he can't come out yet." Harry started walking
around the kitchen looking for something while Louis and Logan stared. "Where
are my keys?"
 
"Harry calm down...they're just Braxton Hicks...you read about it in one of
your gigantic books." Louis calmly explained putting a magnet over the corner
of Logan's picture.
 
"So he's not coming out yet?"
 
"Nope."
 
"Oh thank God." Harry let out a shaky breath.
 
"Daddy look, your keys." Logan pointed to the car keys in the middle of the
kitchen island.
 
"Of course." Harry glared at them while Louis laughed wrapping his arms around
his torso lightly pressing his stomach against his, both of them feeling Evan's
kicks.
 
~*~
 
The weeks passed by and in Louis' 28th week appointment Harry had walked out of
there in a sour mood holding Logan tightly in his arms and Louis' hand after
Jacob had spent part of the appointment complimenting Louis on how good he
looked and the last part tickling and making Logan laugh while they were busy
talking to Rebecca. The more the pregnancy progressed the more uncomfortable
symptoms Louis began to experience leaving him in a pissy mood snapping at
Harry for even the most insignificant things like Harry leaving his clothes on
a chair in the corner of the room and not picking them up driving both of them
nuts. By his 30th week he cut off all the sex not really feeling up to it
leaving Harry who to his bad luck was insatiable those days and had to get off
all by himself with only the help of his right hand.
 
The more the weeks passed by the worst Louis' cravings got waking Harry up in
the middle of the night to get him whatever he wanted then cry about how his
new clothes were already too tight. He spent his days alone munching on
pretzels or sometimes nachos while Harry worked and Logan was in school waiting
for the time to get there to pick her up. He only had the baby and Buttercup's
company during his time alone but when the conversations were only one sided it
started to get to him until Niall and Eleanor started visiting him. He didn't
realized how much he needed to have a conversation with another adult when
things started changing and not in a good way.
 
*****
 
"Hey Lou, where's my baby girl? How have you and the baby been?" Eleanor hugged
a 32 week pregnant and tired Louis.
 
"She's downstairs in her playroom." Louis sighed closing the front door then
rubbed his temples slightly frustrated.
 
"Something wrong?" She asked wrapping an arm around his waist walking down to
the basement.
 
"It's just...I cooked a nice dinner for Harry and he just called to tell me
he's working late...again." Louis rolled his eyes putting a hand underneath his
belly to support it and keep his back from hurting more than it already was.
 
"I was wondering where he was...he's usually home before dinner." Eleanor said
more to herself watching Louis nod.
 
"Well he hasn't had dinner with us in two weeks, he almost never spends time
with Logan except for the Sundays he doesn't work and doesn't talk to the baby
like he used to. He- he doesn't even touch me anymore, I mean...I know it's my
fault for cutting off all the sex but now this stupid pregnancy is making it
worse. Am I really that fat and disgusting he doesn't want to sleep with me
anymore even if I initiate it." Louis frantically said taking a deep breath at
the end.
 
"Louis...I don't- I don't really know what to tell you."
 
"He didn't even go with me to my appointment earlier today- Logan I told you
that's not yours, that's your brother's." Louis walked in front of Logan trying
to take Evan's teddy bear away from her while Eleanor watched with worried
eyes.
 
"It's mine." Logan pouted tightening her grip on it along with her own teddy
bear.
 
"Baby you already have Mr. Curls and Bubbie needs his teddy bear to keep him
safe at night." Louis explained extending his hand for it.
 
"I'll give it back when he comes out." Logan pleaded hiding it behind her back.
 
"No, you have to put him back in the crib." Louis insisted.
 
"But it's mine."
 
"Logan- "
 
"No!" She screamed and as fast as she could she got up and ran to Eleanor who
picked her up rubbing her back as she cried on her shoulder.
 
"Lou...why don't we sit down." Eleanor calmly told him taking a seat on the
couch after he did.
 
"I don't know what's gotten into her, she takes his stuff and sometimes when
Harry's around she won't even let him go near me or talk to the baby. She wants
him all to herself." Louis sighed watching Eleanor whisper something in her ear
then kissed her forehead before she gave him Evan's teddy bear and ran to get
her coloring book and crayons.
 
"Maybe she's just jealous, she's used to having all of Harry's attention and
now she has to share him with the baby. I remember being like that when my
brother was born, I was daddy's girl and then Max was born and suddenly I had
to share."
 
"Yeah but she wasn't like that, she used to be so excited and now she doesn't
talk to him or kisses my tummy like she always used to."
 
"Louis...tell me what's wrong. I know there's something else you're not telling
me and you know you can trust me." Eleanor scooted closer to him wrapping an
arm around his shoulders.
 
"It's embarrassing." Louis muttered then continued when she gave him a look.
"I...I think Harry's cheating on me." Louis confessed.
 
"And that's embarrassing? Louis, he went through a lot to earn your forgiveness
so I don't think he'll just mess it up like that. What makes you think he's
cheating?"
 
"It's just the stupid pregnancy symptoms and- and I was- I was...constipated
and gassy." Louis stopped to look at her seeing her neutral expression telling
him she wasn't affected at all. "So I stopped putting out when he was all- you
know and after that he started coming home later than usual and now he won't
even touch me. He just comes home, takes a shower and if Logan's lucky he
spends some time with her then goes to bed just to do it all over again the
next day. He just kisses my forehead or my cheek and mumbles a tired
goodnight."
 
"Maybe he's working late and is just tired, from what he's told Liam purchasing
this house took a toll in his bank account." Eleanor hugged him carefully
choosing her words not wanting to upset him even more.
 
"I know that El, but he knows I have money and he doesn't have to work that
much. He doesn't have to and whenever I call him he sometimes doesn't
answer...he used to answer my calls all the time. Maybe...maybe he realised I'm
not worth it and he doesn't love me anymore." Louis sniffled knowing he was
being whiny but he didn't cared when he could be losing Harry to some skinny
tramp.
 
"Talk to him Lou, clear things up because in less than two months Evan's gonna
get here and I can see its affecting Logan too." Eleanor advised looking at
Logan coloring on her book still with tear stained cheeks.
 
"Okay...enough of me. Tell me, how have you been. How's Liam?" Louis changed
the subject smiling when she blushed.
 
"He cooked dinner for me last night, it was very romantic." She gushed.
 
"And then?" Louis prompted the same way they did when they were younger.
 
"Then we kissed for a bit and I spent the night over at his."
 
"So nothing happened? You know..." Louis wiggled his eyebrows chuckling when
she blushed a furious red.
 
"We're taking it slow and I like that he doesn't pressure me into doing things
like all those ass holes I've ever dated...Louis he's such a gentleman."
 
"Hey! I'm not an ass hole." Louis exclaimed making her laugh knowing he was
just joking.
 
"You didn't even made it into the list...we only kissed like five times for
those four months we dated." She giggled.
 
"Thanks for being my friend." Louis said out of nowhere remembering how she had
always being there by his side supporting him in everything he did and helping
him as much as she could.
 
"No, thank YOU for being my friend." She said before she hugged him tighter.
 
By the time she left it was Logan's bed time and Harry was still out working,
he gave her a bath then tucked her into bed somehow relieved that it was
Saturday the next day and she didn't had to go to school meaning he could
actually sleep in till nine before she or the baby kicking would wake him up.
He took a shower and got into bed turning the tv on in a crappy show he wasn't
even paying attention to while he waited for Harry to get home with Buttercup
sleeping at the foot of the bed like he did every night until Harry got home
then he would get up and go upstairs to sleep with Logan. Louis knew that he
was protecting him to protect the human inside of him after he would spend
minutes lightly bumping his stomach with his nose to get Evan to kick then
would go to Logan after she would come home, he was just protecting the two
small human beings in the house.
 
He rubbed his stomach feeling Evan kicking then talked to him until he stopped
and Louis assumed he was asleep and looking at the clock on his nightstand he
let out an annoyed sigh and turned the tv off deciding to just go to sleep, he
was done waiting for Harry. What felt like hours later but it had only been a
few minutes he felt a warm hand he recognized as Harry's brushing the hair out
of his forehead and then a pair of warm lips against it making him smile a
little.
"I knew you were awake." Harry mumbled kneeling on the floor next to him
pressing a kiss to Louis' belly.
 
"I was waiting for you." Louis opened his eyes reaching to turn the lamp light
on seeing how messy Harry's hair was and Buttercup gone.
 
"I'm here now, I'm gonna go take a shower then we can go to sleep...go back to
sleep." Harry got up taking his black blazer then his white shirt off before
walking to the bathroom leaving them on a chair in the corner of the room.
 
Louis sighed then after struggling for a few seconds he got up to put them away
not wanting to have them pile up again after he had picked up their clothes
that morning. He smiled as he grabbed them but it quickly disappeared when he
caught the scent of expensive perfume coming from his clothes then his eyes
began stinging with tears seeing a red lipstick kiss on the collar of the white
shirt. He dropped them and went back to bed laying down on his side with his
back to Harry's side of the bed trying not to cry wondering if Harry was really
that disgusted by him enough to sleep with women then quickly wiped a few tears
away when minutes later Harry came out of the bathroom freshly showered already
having brushed his teeth.
 
He tried not to push him away when he wrapped an arm around him kissing the
back of his neck before nuzzling his face against it feeling his uneven breaths
letting him know he was still awake and his thumb rubbing random shapes on his
belly. He tried to keep his sobs in but without helping it he let out a small
one catching Harry's attention.
 
"Louis? Lou...are you crying?" Harry asked sitting up then moved over to Louis'
side facing the crying man.
 
"No..." Louis mumbled then let out another sob when Harry managed to pull him
into his lap so he was straddling him as Louis hid his face on the crook of his
neck crying his eyes out ignoring the ache on his chest when Harry wrapped his
arms around him trying to calm him down wondering how many women or men had he
held like that for the past two weeks or even more.
 
"Love what's wrong? Talk to me." Harry pleaded trying to make him look at him.
 
"Do you- do you still love me?" Louis asked expecting the worst.
 
"Of course I still love you and I always will." He answered peppering his face
with kisses.
 
"Then why are y- you cheating on me...and with women! Am I not good e- enough
f- for you?" Louis sobbed trying to get away from Harry then cried harder when
Harry held him in place not letting him move.
 
"What are you- I didn't cheated." Harry frowned in confusion.
 
"Don't try- your shirt smells like whoever the whore was and- and there's a
lipstick stain on the collar." Louis nearly shouted, sadness quickly replaced
with anger.
 
"That doesn't mean I cheated! Louis I would never- " Harry frantically said
getting interrupted by Louis who managed to get out of his grip watching him
walk up to the chair picking his shirt up.
 
"Then explain this!" Louis shouted throwing it at him hitting his face with it.
 
"This means nothing Louis, you're overreacting." Harry said inspecting the
shirt.
 
"Oh I'm overrea- you're a fucking piece of shit! I don't fucking put out for a
whole damn month and you do this to me." Louis screamed in tears grabbing a
pillow and throwing it at Harry who managed to avoid getting hit by it.
 
"I didn't- "
 
"I stay here holed up in this damn house taking care of your daughter and
carrying your son while you go around fucking all those skinny whores...you
working late is just bullshit!" Louis kept throwing whatever he could find at
Harry.
 
"Dammit Louis I didn't cheated on you." Harry got up yanking a picture frame
out of Louis' hands then grabbed them with one of his own to keep him from
hitting him.
 
"Then why are you always coming home so late? Why won't you sleep with me
anymore? I know I gained so much weight and I'm ugly but are you really that
repulsed by me?" Louis asked sitting down on the chair covering his face with
his hands as he cried.
 
"Love that's not it." Harry mumbled kneeling down in front of Louis wiping the
tears away.
 
"You know how there are some models who don't get the fact that I'm gay and
very much in love with the gorgeous father of my children. It was some annoying
model who attacked me, you can ask Grace...she was there and just watched me
fight for my life and my innocence. I would never cheat on you Lou, I love you,
and if we don't have sex anymore it's because I don't want to hurt you or the
baby. You're six weeks away from delivering."
 
"But you don't have to work this late, we have enough money and Logan misses
you...she's being a little shit lately because you're never home." Louis
hicupped.
 
"I had to." Harry mumbled.
 
"No you don't. Tell me what's going on." Louis demanded noticing how nervous he
looked.
 
"You'll know soon okay? Just trust me." Harry pleaded.
 
"No. Either you tell me or you can sleep somewhere else." Louis crossed his
arms over his chest narrowing his eyes at him daring him to argue with him.
 
"Louis..." Harry groaned.
 
"Goodnight Harry. Hope the couch or wherever you decide to sleep on tonight is
comfortable enough for you."
 
"I didn't want to do it this way. I wanted it to be perfect and unforgettable
over the romantic dinner I was planning for tomorrow night...Logan was going to
spend the night with Liam and Eleanor." Harry sighed.
 
"What- what are you talking about?" Louis asked, his confusion growing when
Harry got up and walked to where his bag was laying on the floor by the door.
 
He stayed in the chair until Harry found what he was looking for in his bag
then turned around and walked back to him holding a small light blue box with
white polka dots and a white bow carefully wrapped around it. He once again
knelt down in front of Louis and carefully placed it on his lap then looked up
at him smiling shyly and motioning for him to open it.
 
"Open it." Harry whispered looking at him with hopeful eyes.
 
Louis swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly unwrapped the bow around it
and opened the box seeing white tissue paper covering what was inside then
smiled when he saw a tiny pair of light blue knit booties and a light blue
quilted crystal pacifier with a matching polka dot ribbon pacifier clip. He
picked up the pacifier then gave Harry a watery smile and a kiss before
admiring it not noticing Harry literally holding his breath when he picked up
the booties feeling the soft material against his fingertips when he felt it.
He gave Harry a confused look before he reached inside the right one feeling
around with his fingers then took it out turning the bootie upside down letting
it fall into his palm feeling like the breath was knocked out of his lungs
realising what it was.
 
"Harry...what..." Louis let out a shaky breath looking at him with wide shiny
eyes.
 
Louis held the ring in his hand, tears brimming his blue eyes. It was
beautiful. The silver band was a polished sterling silver with a row of five
diamonds curved and inset on the top sparkling in the light as he held it
between his thumb and pointer finger.
 
"Please don't interrupt me okay? Just let me talk." Harry smiled when Louis
nodded. "I had a whole speech prepared because I wanted it to be perfect but
I'm just gonna go with what I'm feeling here. I know we didn't started off in a
good way and you'll probably think it's too soon but I've been wanting to do
this ever since we were kids."
 
"I truly love you and our kids, I'm so madly and deeply in love with you and I
just want to spend the rest of my life with you...I want to grow old next to
you so- " Harry took the ring from Louis being on one knee ready to do what he
had always wanted to do.
 
"Harry..." Louis cried letting the happy tears roll down his cheeks as he put a
hand over his mouth and placed the other on his belly where Evan was kicking
like crazy maybe sensing how happy his daddy was at the moment hearing his
heart beating so fast like a hummingbird in mid flight.
 
"Would you do me the honour of being my husband, would you Louis Tomlinson
marry this idiot who loves you with all his heart?" Harry finished the question
watching Louis struggle to get a single word out then smiled when he finally
nodded.
 
"Of course I'll marry you you idiot...you're my idiot." Louis finally spoke
throwing himself at Harry hugging the life out of him pulling back when Harry
grabbed his hand and placed the ring on his finger.
 
"I love you Louis, I promise I'm going to make you the happiest man alive."
Harry kissed his lips then his hand before getting eye level with his tummy
whispering the next words. "He said yes baby boy, daddy said yes."
 
"You know I'm already so happy, I have everything anyone could ever ask for and
I love you so much." Louis smiled running his fingers through Harry's hair then
closed his eyes a little when he felt an uncomfortable tightness in his lower
stomach.
 
"Well I'm gonna make you extra happy." Harry beamed with happiness looking up
at Louis noticing something was wrong. "Lou are you okay?"
 
"Y- yeah I am. Kiss me." He pouted then smiled when Harry kissed him then
moaned not from pleasure but from pain.
 
"Lou..?" Harry pulled back watching him furrow his brows in concentration
before it turned into a grimace and his hand grabbed his forearm in a tight
painful grip before he doubled over in pain barely leaving him with enough time
to catch him.
 
"I think...I think the baby's coming." Louis gasped for air then screamed when
another contraction hit him.
 
"What? Now!?" Harry's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets then got up
looking for their shoes and car keys.
 
"Fuck me! It's too soon, it's too soon...he can't come out yet." Louis tried to
breathe letting Harry help him to the bed. "Your- fuck it hurts! Your kids
don't...don't know the definition of...due date."
 
Harry rushed around the room frantically searching for their shoes and a coat
then not really knowing how he managed to put the shoes and the coat on Louis
then his own. He wanted to scream and cry when he realised they hadn't even
packed Louis and the baby's bags yet and once again had managed to lose his
keys while Louis tried to breathe already sweating buckets. Harry almost
tripped running out of the room to get Logan climbing the stairs two at a time
thanking the gods she was wearing warm pajamas and as fast as he could put her
shoes and a random coat on picking her up wrapping her blanket around her then
ran back to his and Louis' bedroom.
 
"My keys...where did I put my keys?" Harry walked around panicking and still
holding his sleeping four year old in his arms.
 
"Harry?" Louis tried to get up
 
"I know it hurts love, I know and I'm sorry. My keys!"
 
"Harry it's okay, it doesn't hurt anymore." Louis slowly got up relaxing when
it didn't hurt then walked to Harry.
 
"What? What do you mean it doesn't hurt anymore?" Harry gave him an incredulous
look carefully setting Logan down on the bed seeing her opening her eyes to
give him a sour look before she closed them again and made herself comfortable
scooting over to the middle of the bed.
 
"False labour, it just stopped out of nowhere. He's not coming out...at least
not now." Louis managed to give him a tiny smile watching him sit down on the
bed letting out a breath Harry himself didn't know he was holding.
 
"He's not even out yet and is already scaring the crap out of me." Harry rubbed
his hands on his face.
 
"It's just like practice for the real thing...you were petty good and fast,
good job babe." Louis said taking a seat next to Harry kissing his sweaty
temple noticing a tiny detail on their sleeping daughter. "Harry?"
 
"Yeah?"
 
"Why is Logan wearing two different shoes?" Louis asked trying not to laugh.
 
"Oh my God...I didn't even noticed." Harry groaned then looked around raising
his eyebrows. "I still can't find my keys."
 
They looked at each other before bursting out laughing and Harry wrapped his
arms around Louis kissing his forehead making a mental note to text his mum,
Gemma, and Jay to let them know his answer then deciding it was now or never he
took his phone out and sent them a simple text knowing they'll call the next
day.
 
He said yes.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo PicsArt_1402281775283_zps9f68edef.jpg]
      
      
      
      
      
      
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     PicsArt_1402281775283_zps9f68edef.jpg
      
     Thoughts?
***** We were always meant to be *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Harry slowly opened his eyes blinking in confusion when he noticed he was in
bed alone, he looked around getting startled when he saw Louis standing in
front of him by the foot of the bed with a bag in one hand and the other on his
belly. He was about to ask what he was doing when he noticed Jacob standing by
the door with Logan asleep in his arms and two suitcases by his feet then
almost let out a sob when Louis took off the ring he had just given him last
night and placed it on the bed.
 
"Louis? What are you- why is he holding our daughter." Harry nervously asked
getting up when Louis walked towards Jacob and intertwined their fingers
together.
 
"I can't marry you Harry...I- I don't love you. I'm leaving you and we're
taking the kids." Louis answered then moved to walk out but couldn't when Harry
ran to him getting on his knees and wrapped his arms around him not bothering
to wipe the tears away.
 
"No, please don't leave me Louis. I love you, you can't leave me please." Harry
begged and began panicking when Jacob walked out of their bedroom taking Logan
with him.
 
"I don't love you, I love Jacob and its him who the kids are going to call
daddy from now on...not you." Louis said pushing him off of him.
 
"Louis please, please don't leave me."
 
"Harry."
 
"Louis please." Harry continued begging.
 
"Harry wake up!" Louis shouted watching in fear as Harry woke up sweating and
trying to breathe then started crying out of nowhere bringing his knees close
to his chest.
 
"Please..." Harry cried looking around with wide eyes then felt his chest
tightening when he saw a carry on bag that belonged to Louis and the diaper bag
they had gotten for Evan with all his things around it ready to be packed, all
in Louis' side of the bed.
 
"It was just a dream, you were just dreaming." Louis quickly said wrapping his
arms around him when he figured out he must've been having a nightmare by the
way he was shaking then kissed the top of his head.
 
"You were going to leave me for Jacob...And you were taking the kids with you.
Louis he took her, he took our Logan." Harry sobbed.
 
"I would never leave you Harry...and Logan's in the kitchen eating breakfast
and if we ever leave this house with packed bags it will be because we're going
on a vacation. I'm just packing mine and the baby's stuff so we're ready for
when he gets here. Why would I leave you if we're gonna get married, you asked
me to marry you and I said yes. Don't you remember?" Louis rubbed Harry's back
in attempts of calming him down.
 
"Y- yes b- but it felt so real Louis. Please don't ever leave me, please."
Harry begged noticing Louis was still wearing the ring.
 
"I told you you're stuck with us, there's no way we're leaving you ever." Louis
kissed him.
 
He was still crying in Louis' arms when Logan ran into the room still wearing
pajamas stained with syrup and had her hair up in a messy bun quickly climbing
on the bed to cuddle Harry when she saw he was crying. Harry couldn't help but
smile when she grabbed his cheeks with both of her sticky hands and gave him a
sticky kiss on the forehead then to make him laugh growled at him telling him
she was his baby tiger making silly faces.
 
"No crying okay? I'm here and I didn't move out." She cooed hugging Harry
around the neck.
 
"You're not moving out until you're forty." Harry kissed her sticky cheek
wondering how much syrup had Louis allowed her to eat.
 
"So I'm not moving out?" Logan asked trying to wipe her hands on the bedsheets
pouting when Harry stopped her.
 
"Don't be silly, of course you're not moving out." Harry said then blew
raspberries on her tummy.
 
She was still laughing when Harry reached to kiss Louis' belly making her stop
then quickly got in between them clinging to Harry keeping him from getting any
closer to Louis much less the baby. Louis' eyes widened in surprise at her
actions knowing her jealousy was becoming a problem and they needed to talk to
her about it. Harry gave him a smile then got up with her in his arms to clean
her up a bit and after he was done eating breakfast they decided to spend the
day together walking around the neighborhood hand in hand with Logan walking in
front of them holding Buttercup's leash.
 
After Harry chased Logan around the neighborhood park for hours laughing and
then proceeded to throw her up into the air catching her in his arms every time
while Louis tried not to freak out thinking he wouldn't catch her they headed
back home with Harry carrying a passed out Logan when she had fallen asleep in
his arms. They woke her up just to give her a bath and tuck her into bed then
after both of them showered and Louis had a bowl of ice cream they fell asleep
in each other's arms.
 
The following morning they called their friends to invite them over later that
day then their families to tell them the news and after they had their moment
and congratulated them they promised to help them organize the wedding to which
they still didn't had a date but that was the least of their worries at the
moment.
 
~*~
 
"Now that you're all here Harry and I have something to tell you." Louis
announced smiling so big.
 
"What is it?" Zayn asked, arms wrapped around Logan sitting next to Niall while
Liam and Eleanor were sitting together in the loveseat.
 
"Harry and I are getting married." Louis announced waiting in the all of a
sudden very quiet room for someone to say something until Eleanor squealed and
got up to hug him.
 
"Congratulations Louis! I'm so happy for you." Eleanor smiled motioning for
Louis to show her the ring complimenting Harry on his great taste.
 
"Congratulations both of you." Liam hugged Harry then Louis who looked at Zayn
and Niall waiting for a reaction smiling when both of them smiled.
 
"I'm so so happy for you." Niall hugged him followed by Zayn after he had set
Logan down.
 
"How did he proposed?" Zayn asked surprising Louis when he and Niall hugged
Harry.
 
"Well I sort of thought he was cheating on me because he was always working
late but turns out he wasn't and he had it all planned out but I ruined the
surprise with my paranoia so he had no choice but to propose to me in our
bedroom right after I threw a few items at him. He gave me a gift with a
pacifier and booties inside...the ring was inside one of them." Louis gushed
while they all listened with big smiles.
 
"That's just so cute." Eleanor sighed picking Logan up when she started pulling
on her dress.
 
"Zayn proposed to me when we were taking a walk in the park, told me all these
romantic things then I cried and said yes...and then we kissed and went back
home." Niall said smiling when Zayn blushed as the others gave them a knowing
look.
 
"Are you gonna get married like uncle Zayn and uncle Niall?" Logan asked
wrapping an arm around Eleanor's neck.
 
"Yeah bug, daddy and I are getting married." Harry nodded.
 
"I'm gonna marry Alex too." Logan giggled playing with Eleanor's hair.
 
"No you're not, you're not gonna marry him. You're not even five yet." Harry
quickly shot that idea down while the rest of them laughed when she pouted.
 
"I'll still marry him auntie El." Logan whispered on her ear smiling when she
nodded.
 
"Do you have a date yet?" Liam asked.
 
"No, not yet. We want to wait after Zayn and Niall's wedding and when Evan is
old enough." Louis explained sitting back down feeling his feet aching
continuing the conversation until it was time for them to go.
 
~*~
 
The following Monday morning Louis stayed in bed asleep while Harry who was
taking the day off dropped Logan off at school after struggling to wake her up
and willingly have her go to school. He had only woken up to give her a hug and
a kiss telling her to have lots of fun, a great day and to listen to Mrs.
Teasdale going back to sleep as soon as he saw them driving away from the
window.
 
A few minutes later Evan began to restlessly kick and move around making Louis
wince in pain a few times especially at a hard jab at his ribs getting
uncomfortable when he felt him pressing against his bladder. He loudly sighed
accepting the fact that he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep again
and instead got up to relieve himself, wash his hands and face then brush his
teeth hearing Harry's steps moments later since the school was close by. He
found him laying down on his spot still fully dressed in sweatpants and a thin
hoodie missing when they used to be so big on him and now they were barely
loose.
 
"I thought you were still sleeping." Harry mumbled lifting his arm up so Louis
could take his hand and lay down next to him.
 
"Evan kept kicking at my ribs and it was getting uncomfortable plus I had to
pee." Louis sighed smiling when Harry wrapped his arms around him.
 
"Poor thing...must be crowded in there but just six or so more weeks and we'll
get to hold him." Harry smiled kissing Louis' forehead.
 
"No...no more than six weeks. He's gonna come out on his due date whether he
likes it or not before I explode. Harry I'm already so fat and he had to get
out soon so I can get back in shape." Louis lifted his head to look at Harry.
 
"You're not fat love, you're pregnant."
 
"I know I'm pregnant but I'm still fat and unattractive." Louis frowned.
 
"I think you're very sexy, you always look sexy." Harry winked and Louis felt
like it was too much as he tried not to jump him right there and ride him all
day long.
 
"You're only trying to make me feel better Harold." Louis sadly sighed getting
up to sit against the headboard.
 
"It's the truth...if we could I would make love to you against the wall then in
this very bed all day long." Harry said making Louis blush as Harry moved to
sit next to him.
 
"Then why don't you?" Louis asked slightly offended.
 
"Because we can't just neglect Logan and my idea of doing you against the wall
will hurt Evan but as soon as he's out and you're fully healed..." Harry
trailed off raising his eyebrows in a suggestive dirty way.
 
"W- What?" Louis blinked raising his eyebrows.
 
"I want you to ride me." Harry repeated as he marked him.
 
"Harry I don't think- I'm too fat...and- and..." Louis stuttered blushing a
deep red.
 
"It's okay if you don't want to, I'm not gonna force you if it makes you
uncomfortable." Harry gently said kissing the left corner of Louis' lips.
 
"Nono, I do want to but I'm so pregnant and I'm gonna squeeze you." Louis
sighed giving him a sad look.
 
"It's okay if you don't want to." Harry kissed the tip of his nose rubbing his
sides.
 
"O- okay...yeah let's do it." Louis nodded.
 
"I want to- inside...Louis." Harry closed his eyes when Louis smirked and began
moving again driving Harry crazy then all of a sudden stopped just as Harry let
out a whimper.
 
"Okay but hurry up, I'm hungry." Louis said raising his eyebrows when Harry lay
there looking at him in wonder.
 
"What?"
 
"Do you know how beautiful you are, you're stunning and gorgeous and just so
pretty." Harry sat up moving to sit at the edge of the bed.
 
"I'm not any of those things Harry." Louis mumbled looking down at his hands to
hide the fact that he was blushing then scooted closer to Harry when he reached
for him.
 
"You're all of those things." Harry murmured kissing Louis then the back of his
neck.
 
**********
 
"Why don't we shower then I'll make you something to eat." Harry suggested
helping him get up when Louis nodded.
 
After their shower and Louis had finished the pancakes with marmalade and syrup
Harry had made for him he settled down on the couch in the keeping room
watching tv and folding the laundry Harry was washing and drying. He sighed
seeing it was still a little after ten thirty wanting to just get up and pick
her up from school and cuddle her all day long missing her loud laughs filling
the silent house and overall just missing his baby girl that was growing way
too fast for his and Harry's liking. He began petting the dog when he got close
to him lightly bumping his belly with his nose until the baby kicked then feel
asleep by Louis' feet leaving him with his hand up in the air when Harry's
phone went off wondering who could be calling him.
 
"Ignore me then...Harry the phone!" Louis yelled trying to get up to answer it
just as Harry walked in holding a basket full of Logan's and some blankets for
the baby rushing over to answer it dropping the basket next to Louis.
 
"Hello? Yeah I'm her father...What happened? Are you sure? We'll be right
there." Harry hung up and stared at the phone then at Louis.
 
"What happened? Is Logan hurt?" Louis asked putting the clothes aside managing
to get up and waddle to Harry.
 
"She's okay but they want us to go and talk to them...apparently she was
involved in a scuffle, must be a misunderstanding but c'mon." Harry took Louis'
hand helping him to the car.
 
"That's strange, she's not the kind to fight." Louis muttered to himself.
 
When they got there the school hallways were unusually quiet in contrast with
the noisy ones before and after school and as soon as they got to the main
office they noticed David outside the office sitting on a bench next to their
daughter comforting her and finishing redoing her ponytail as best as he could
while she hicupped every now and then. Once she saw them she took off running
towards Louis holding onto the sides of his sweater hiding her face on his
belly letting out loud sobs ignoring her brother kicking against her face.
Louis immediately wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort her as best as
he could while Harry knelt down next to her.
 
"What happened?" Harry finally asked seeing how she wanted Louis to pick her up
but settled with him sitting down on the bench next to her where he properly
hugged her and kissed the top of her head before wiping her tears away.
 
"She got into a fight with one of her seatmates...Tabitha Richardson. Mrs.
Teasdale says she pushed them pulled her hair before punching her in the arm
and Tabitha responded doing the same except hitting her. The headmaster,
Tabitha's parents and Mrs. Teasdale are waiting for you...don't worry I'll stay
with her." David gave them a reassuring smile.
 
Harry nodded grabbing Louis by the hand guiding him to the office knocking
before walking in. Who they assumed were Tabitha's parents glared at them and
Harry glared back until Louis discreetly pinched his thigh to make him stop and
pay attention to what was being said.
 
**********
 
"Well I know my daughter and she wouldn't hurt a fly and if she hit her then
there must've been a really good reason for her to respond that way." Harry
argued after Solange, Tabitha's mother, had called Logan a problem and violent
child then demanded for her to be expelled immediately.
 
"We already talked to both girls but none of them would tell us what happened."
Mr. Walters, the headmaster explained.
 
"That's because there's nothing to tell other than that girl attacked my
daughter for no reason." Solange insisted.
 
"Our daughter would never do that." Harry glared.
 
"I've seen the girls interacting and I'm sorry to say this but Tabitha is
always teasing not only Logan but also her classmates and I'm also sorry to say
this because Logan is such a bright student but she was the one to throw the
first hit." Mrs. Teasdale spoke looking at both set of parents.
 
"We'll that settles it, your daughter needs to learn how to control herself and
be expelled." Tabitha's father spoke for the first time pissing off both Harry
and Louis.
 
"So you're saying my daughter should be punished for not putting up with your
daughters teasing? I'm sorry she doesn't let your daughter mess with
her...also, you should teach your kid to be friendly and have some sort of
respect towards her classmates because if she keeps going like that she'll have
no friends later on." Harry exploded raising his voice while Louis grabbed him
by the arm to keep him from getting up.
 
After arguing for almost half an hour it was decided Logan was to be suspended
and stay home and go back to school Thursday while Tabitha and her parents were
given a warning, Harry had walked out of there furious with the school and
disappointed with Logan when she refused to apologize to her and had tried to
hit her again when Tabitha stuck her tongue out at her.
 
"You and I are gonna have a long talk when wet get home and you're grounded, no
tv or trips to the park for a week." Harry said buckling her up then slammed
the door closed while Logan hicupped glaring at him then began crying and
calling for Louis.
 
As soon as Logan stepped into the house she ran straight to Buttercup laying
down next to him on his bed by the barstools ignoring Harry until he gently
grabbed her kissing her forehead and set her down on the couch in front of him
and Louis. He was about to speak when she got up trying to climb on Louis' lap
and be closer to him like she used to but couldn't when Evan was in the way
then began pushing her knees against it making Louis wince and push her back a
bit making her cry until Harry put her back in her old spot.
 
"Whatever's going on needs to stop right now, you're gonna hurt your brother
Hunter." Harry scolded her watching as she tried to climb back on Louis' lap
wrapping her arms around his stomach.
 
"Wanna tell me what's going on?" Louis asked running his fingers through
Logan's hair sighing when she shooked her head no.
 
"You know it's not okay and we don't like it when you hit people so why did you
hit her?" Harry asked.
 
" 'cause..." Logan mumbled.
 
"That's not a good enough reason to hit her so either you tell me or I'm gonna
take all your toys away." Louis insisted.
 
" 'cause she's stupid and I hate her." Logan angrily pouted.
 
"Hey! We don't use that kind of language here so watch your mouth." Harry
nearly yelled in almost a deeper tone of voice startling Logan and even Evan
who Louis felt giving a sudden kick to the side of his stomach.
 
"I don't like you and the stupid baby, I hate him and you're stupid!" Logan
wailed running out of there and into the half bathroom in the hallway slamming
the door shut as hard as she could locking it before Harry could catch up to
her.
 
"Logan open the door." Harry knocked on it, his heart breaking when he heard
her tiny sobs coming from inside. "C'mon lovebug, open the door sweetheart."
 
"No! Daddy and you don't love me anymore, you only love the stupid Bubbie."
Logan cried louder.
 
"That's not true love, we love you too." Harry spoke feeling Louis' hand on his
shoulder.
 
"Baby open the door." Louis begged.
 
"No...I'm gonna hold my breath until I die then I'm gonna run away." Logan
hicupped making Harry bang his head against the wall deciding to never let her
watch Toddlers & Tiaras ever again no matter how much she begged or how many
times she tried to bribe him with cuddles.
 
"But if you hold your breath and die you won't be able to run away and we'll
miss you too much, and I'll cry like daddy because you died." Louis said
putting his hand in between Harry's forehead and the wall to stop him when he
kept banging his head against it.
 
"Princess you have to come out of there and tell us what's going on." Harry
spoke in a soft tone sighing in relief when she finally opened the door giving
them the saddest most heartbreaking look then began speaking crying her eyes
out.
 
"Tabitha is mean daddies, she- she told me you only love Bubbie and I- I have
to move out when h- he comes out of daddy's tummy. I don't want to move out and
I wanted to be her friend but she pulls my hair and it hurts, she pulls Luxie's
hair too. She said y- you don't love me anymore 'cause now you have Bubbie and
I- I want you to love me too." Logan wailed shaking and rubbing her left eye.
 
"I've had it with that...that brat." Louis angrily muttered before he took
Logan's hand going back to the keeping room then set her down next to him
pulling her into a hug.
 
"Daddy and I will always love you and even if we have Bubbie we'll still love
you, we'll always love both of you the same." Louis said rubbing her back.
 
"But she said you and daddy don't love me anymore and hate me." Logan sobbed.
 
"Is that why you hit her?" Harry asked kissing the back of her head wrapping
his arms around them.
 
"Yes."
 
"We love you bug so so much, we love both you and Bubbie and we'll never stop
loving you." Harry reached for tissue to wipe her nose.
 
"What she did was wrong but that doesn't mean you had to punch her, that's
never okay and you should have told Mrs. Teasdale." Louis rubbed her back
trying to calm her down.
 
"I'm sorry...I just wanted to be her friend. Daddy she doesn't have any
friends." Logan cried breaking Louis and Harry's hearts.
 
"I'll be right back." Louis said out of nowhere kissing Logan's forehead then
got up grabbing Harry's keys and walked or more like waddled to the garage.
 
"Louis where are you going?" Harry asked picking Logan up to follow him.
 
"That spoiled brat's being bullying our daughter and I'm not gonna just sit
here and let her get away with it." Louis angrily said.
 
"Louis I don't think- "Harry quickly shut up, walked out and buckled Logan up
getting in the driver's side when Louis narrowed his eyes and gave him a 'keep
talking' look.
 
He followed a pissed off and hormonal Louis through the school hallways holding
Logan's hand almost making her run, both of them trying to keep up with Louis
as he kept a hand underneath his belly so he could get there faster not caring
if he looked like a penguin at the pace he was going. He nearly slammed the
door open startling the secretaries, David and to his surprise Tabitha's
parents who were still there talking to the headmaster.
 
"Your daughter is nothing but a bully and I refuse to let mine be punished for
defending herself from not only her verbal but also physical attacks." Louis
glared at them.
 
"How dare you call- " Solange nearly shouted getting interrupted by a furious
Louis.
 
"I'll call her whatever I want when she has the guts to tell my daughter we
hate her and pull not only her hair but also her classmate's and if Logan hit
her she had it coming." Louis yelled making her take a step back.
 
**********
 
Louis walked out of there grinning victoriously after it was now Tabitha who
was suspended and everyone was left with the mentality of never wanting to deal
with a pissed off and hormonal pregnant man trying to protect his child,
especially one called Louis Tomlinson.
 
They went back home making a stop in Taco Bell buying a burrito supreme for
Louis and six tacos for Harry and Logan to share spending the afternoon doing
nothing but happy when Logan once again kissed Louis' belly.
 
By Louis' 35th week he found himself waving goodbye to Harry, Brian and the
kids dressed as pirates seeing them jumping up and down in happiness because it
was their first time ever trick-or-treating then closed the door going back to
the kitchen with David. They talked while David had tea and Louis his usual
nachos with extra spicy jalapenos complaining about wanting Evan out our he
wouldn't be able to walk anymore then listened horrified to David telling him
he had had to be induced when Alex was way overdue. By the time Harry, Brian
and the hyper kids were back Louis was a sobbing mess watching Marley & Me
while David tried to comfort him leaving when Alex started whining about
wanting to sleep in his bed. Harry made sure Louis and Logan weren't looking
when he hid the bag full of candy in the cabinet on top of the fridge.
 
~*~
 
"Harry since I'm only two weeks away I need to buy a bassinet now." Louis said
as he was being ready for his 36th week appointment.
 
"Okay we can go buy it after the appointment." Harry smiled putting a shirt on.
 
"Okay good 'cause we only have to pick it up and you're going to love it 'cause
I do and its really lovely." Louis rambled walking out of their room to get
Logan and drop her off at Zayn's and Niall's.
 
When they walked in into Dr. Lane's office they were immediately called in
while Louis kept teasing Harry about his obsession with taking selfies after he
made him pose for one in the parking lot. They stopped the teasing after Dr.
Lane told them that as soon as Evan was out she and a pediatrician were going
to check his eyes to know whether he was blind or not then would be given to
them so they could meet their son and after that he would be tested to know if
he was a carrier or not. Louis was told to change into a hospital gown to make
it easier for her to perform a full check up on him and Harry couldn't be more
glad when Jacob left not wanting him see any part of Louis then pouted when he
was asked to leave.
 
"I never thought I would like him that much." Rebecca said after checking
Louis.
 
"A year ago I didn't think I would be having another baby with him much less be
engaged to him." Louis sighed in content with his present life.
 
"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable and remember all those memories but you
deserve to be happy after everything you went through and now here you are
about to have another baby." Rebecca smiled.
 
"The bullying, the- the you know and me getting pregnant that way is all in the
past now. I'm so happy now with him, our daughter and our son and I couldn't
ask for anything else." Louis looked at her and she could tell he was telling
the truth when she could see his eyes were no longer icy cold and clouded with
sadness but instead were warm and happy.
 
"And I wish you the best Louis." She gently said squeezing his hand.
 
After she left to get next patient Louis stayed in the room waiting for Harry
and was just about to go change into the ensuite bathroom when Jacob walked in
after knocking wearing an angry yet disgusted expression saying nothing just
staring at Louis as if he was trying so hard to understand something.
 
"You need something?" Louis asked grabbing his clothes from the chair.
 
"How...how can you even stand him touching you, w- why do you even let him
touch you?" Jacob asked trying to control his anger.
 
"What are you talking about?" Louis asked even though he already knew why he
was asking.
 
"I heard you! That thing- he, he took advantage of you yet here you are about
to have another baby with him." Jacob snapped taking a step closer to Louis.
 
"That's none of your business." Louis glared.
 
"You're right, it's not...but what you're doing is so wrong. Raising two kids
with a- with him." Jacob rubbed his hands on his face waiting for Louis to see
how wrong he thought it was, none of them noticing Harry watching everything.
 
"It's my life and I love him and whether you like it or not he is the father of
my children, I honestly don't care if you think it's wrong or not." Louis
finally snapped.
 
"Leave him...take the kids and come with me. I- I can make you happy and I'll
raise them as my own. Please Louis...I- I still love you and if you say yes we
can form our own family away from him and be so happy." Jacob desperately said
as Harry held his breath waiting for Louis to say something.
 
"No I- " Louis tried to say but was interrupted when Jacob took a step forward
and kissed him holding him by the back of his neck while he struggled to push
him away finally doing so breathing hard. "I'm not gonna do that! I love him
and we're gonna get married."
 
"Louis..."
 
"Why can't you understand I love him and I can't lose him again. I'm sorry, I
really am sorry but you need to move on Jacob. I know there's someone out there
who would love to be with you but that's not me."
 
"Louis please." Jacob begged.
 
"Ready to go love?" Harry walked in deciding to act as if he hadn't just
witnessed his fiance getting kissed by his ex.
 
"Just let me change, I'll be right out." Louis mumbled stepping into the
bathroom locking the door after himself.
 
"I hope that was clear enough for you so stay away from him." Harry calmly said
kissing against the wall.
 
"Do you even have a conscience? You disgust me and you're nothing but trash
that doesn't deserve him or his kids."
 
"I paid for all my mistakes so save your words because I don't need them."
Harry nearly growled trying to stay in his spot and not punch him.
 
"You made his life hell and you keep doing it because if it wasn't for you then
Louis wouldn't have to live knowing that baby could be blind all because of
you. You're not done paying for your mistakes." Jacob said.
 
"You- " Harry growled, his eyes stinging with tears.
 
"Harry!" Louis yelled coming out of the bathroom turning to Jacob and slapping
him across the face. "I thought you were a different person but I was wrong so
just stay away from us."
 
With that said Louis grabbed Harry's hand and walked out of there never
stopping until they got to the car then turned around expecting Harry to be
just as angry as he was but instead found him crying.
 
"Harry...."
 
"He's right Louis, it's my fault our son is blind."
 
"That's not true and you know it. You're gonna stop crying and leave that to me
when I'm all hormonal, you're gonna wipe those tears away and drive me to the
store to get that bassinet then we're gonna go pick Logan up- oh and you're
also buying me nachos and ice cream cause we're out. Okay?" Louis said wiping
Harry's tears with his sleeves.
 
"Okay." Harry nodded.
 
"And I love you." Louis pecked him on the lips.
 
"I love you too." Harry smiled a little.
 
As soon as they got home Logan helped Louis set up the dark brown handwoven
bassinet happily telling him she was going to rock him to sleep and Louis lived
that he could separate the basket from the base so that way he'll have
somewhere to put him down when he wasn't in the room.
 
~*~
Louis woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming he wet the bed and
Harry made fun of him then groggily got up and waddled to the kitchen to get
water feeling like he had sandpaper in his mouth instead of a tongue. His eyes
flickered to the packed bags by the door after Harry had put them there when he
was a nervous mess always hovering over Louis since he was a few days away from
delivering and the fact that if he didn't go into labour naturally he was going
to have to be induced only made Harry impossible to be around. After what had
happened with Jacob Louis requested for only Dr. Lane to be at his last two
appointments and she had agreed without questions asked.
 
"When are you going to get out baby? Not that I don't want you in there but
daddy's gonna explode if you don't come out soon, your other daddy might too.
We can't wait to hold you and your sister can't wait to meet you and give you a
good cuddle." Louis talked to the baby as he filled a glass of water.
 
He was still drinking when he heard a low pop sound followed by a small amount
of liquid running down his leg then began tearing up realising he had just wet
himself in the middle of the kitchen until he felt a small contraction mumbling
an 'oh God it's time' then calmly walked back to their bedroom to wake Harry
up.
 
He shook him, pulled his legs, lightly smacked him but nothing seemed to work
and Harry kept sleeping like a baby when his real baby wanted to come out as
Louis felt the contractions getting a bit stronger.
 
"Harry wake up." Louis shook him then started hitting him until he got fed up
and hit him right in his crotch both of them letting out a choked scream. "Feel
my pain." Louis said through gritted teeth holding onto Harry's arm breathing
hard.
 
"W- what's going on? Why would you- why would you hit me?" Harry got up turning
on the light chocking in his own saliva when he saw Louis hunched over with a
hand over his belly panting and sweating.
 
"Baby's c- coming."
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_n3m6g0LuYZ1t9hu1ho2_500_zps3a137a55.jpg]
     Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_n3m6g0LuYZ1t9hu1ho2_500_zps3a137a55.jpg
      
     Thoughts? :)
***** I could hold you for a million years *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Baby's c- coming."
"What? Now!?" Harry screeched still protecting his manhood with his hands when
Louis gave him a duh look.
"Yes, now Harold. Hurry up because you know your son is not gonna wait for you
to take forever to get ready." Louis confirmed waiting for another contraction
not really looking forward to them.
"Okay okay, you keep him nice and warm in there until we get there...just sit
down and breathe while I get us ready. Zayn, I have to call Zayn and don't lose
the keys." Harry quickly got up helping Louis down on the bed then grabbed his
phone giving him his keys Louis hadn't even noticed had been hanging around his
neck in a lanyard to keep himself from losing them again.
"Do you sleep with your keys?" Louis asked a bit surprised.
"Been doing it for three days now. What? I don't want to lose them." Harry
defended himself when Louis just stared at his fiance as if he had three heads.
"Just hurry up." Louis groaned feeling his stomach tightening taking deep
breaths.
Louis focused himself on staying calm while Harry ran around getting dressed
into a pair of jeans, a thin shirt and a hoodie while talking to Zayn, they had
agreed earlier that week that he and Niall would be the ones to stay with Logan
until she could visit Louis and the baby at the hospital. After hanging up and
telling Louis they were on their way he helped him into a new pair of his own
bigger sweatpants and a hoodie wincing when Louis tightened his grip on his
forearms digging his fingernails into the skin and buried his face on his chest
to keep himself from screaming.
"Fuck Harry it hurts." Louis whimpered letting out a few tears not really
knowing why he was being so whiny and needy when he had already done it once,
bringing Evan into the world should be an easy task for him to do yet he needed
Harry to tell him everything was going to be okay.
"Everything's gonna be okay and soon you'll get to hold our baby." Harry kissed
his forehead then bent down to put his shoes on jerking his head up when he
heard him crying.
"M- make sure they check his eyes...please." Louis cried feeling overwhelmed
all of a sudden, the thought that in a few hours they'll know if their little
baby boy was blind or not was too much for him at the moment.
"Don't cry Lou...I will, I'll make sure that's the first thing they do so don't
you worry. Stay here while I go bring the car over to the front." Harry got up
kissing Louis' hand then grabbed his keys leaving him alone as he looked down
at his belly and the fabric on top of it getting wet with tears that no matter
how hard he tried to hold back they just wouldn't stop.
A few minutes later Harry came back and helped Louis to the front door grabbing
the bags on his way out just as Zayn and Niall walked through the door still
wearing pajamas and Zayn was holding a bag in his hands.
"It's gonna be okay Lou, just think that in a few hours you'll have your baby
in your arms and don't worry about Logan, we're gonna take care of her and take
her to school. We'll take her to see you later today after school and Harry
already called Anne and Jay." Niall said as he helped Louis to the car while
Harry talked to Zayn telling him to help themselves to anything they wanted.
As soon as Harry was in the car Louis grabbed the sides of his seat letting the
contraction pass seeing Niall and Zayn closing the door then focused on
breathing reaching for Harry's free hand. The drive to the hospital was fast
thanks to Harry obsessing over finding the faster routes to get there while
Louis squirmed in his seat panting and sweating deciding to not give a crap if
he was being too loud, he had the right to do it when he felt ready to pop and
like he was dying with a kid stuck in between his legs.
After Harry had parked the car Louis made sure Harry had everything then didn't
even waited for his help and instead got out of the car on his own feeling just
fine making Harry run to catch up with him. He tried to balance the bags on his
hands waiting for Louis to check himself in before they were taken to his
assigned room. Once they were settled in Louis changed into a hospital gown and
after he went through a physical assessment with Dr. Lane he was started on an
IV and to his embarrassment he was administered an enema thanking God and the
nurse for making Harry exit the room while they did it. He was then left alone
after being told an anesthesiologist and his nurse will be there soon. A few
minutes later Harry was still who knows where and seeing it was still three in
the morning and a day before Evan's real due date which was supposed to be
November 20 he started feeling uncomfortable as the contractions kept getting
stronger as he held onto the bed sheets taking deep breaths.
"Where were you?" Louis asked through gritted teeth narrowing his eyes as soon
as Harry walked back into the room.
"Mum called to let me know they'll be here later today and then Zayn called to
make sure we were in the hospital and okay." Harry explained taking a seat on a
chair next to Louis.
"Okay...is Logan okay, she still sleeping?" Louis asked putting a hand over his
belly.
"Yeah she's still knocked ou- "
"Ahh fuck fuck! When am I- am I gonna get that damn epidural?" Louis nearly
screamed curling into a ball when he felt another contraction.
"It's okay love, they'll be here soon." Harry quickly soothed him grabbing his
right hand running his fingers through his already sweaty hair with his left
hand.
"No it's not okay Harold, this shit hurts and I have to go through it while you
just sit there looking pretty. Shut up." Louis glared but after Harry had read
endless quantities of books he knew Louis didn't mean all or some of the things
he said.
"But I didn't say anyth- "
"Shut up and hold my hand." Louis whined tightening his grip on his hand.
Twenty minutes later the anesthesiologist was still nowhere to be found and
Harry felt like his hand was about to fall off or the least he only had a few
fractured fingers after a contraction where Louis had squeezed it hard enough
to stop his circulation but said nothing guessing it couldn't compare to what
Louis was feeling. Louis had managed to doze off a few times but gave up when
the contractions got stronger and more frequent and was either in a foul mood
or needy wanting Harry to be there at all times feeding him crushed ice to keep
his mouth from drying out.
"Harry..." Louis whined moving his head from side to side. "Harry get him out
for the love of God, just tell them to get him out now."
"Just a little bit more Lou, they'll be here before you know it." Harry
nervously glanced at the door pleading for them to get there faster feeling
Louis pulling his hand away from his.
"That's the fucking problem Styles, I don't fucking know! What the hell are
you- ahh fuck this...what the hell are you still doing here? Go get them."
Louis cried in pain hating everything at the moment except his kids and the
annoying beeping sound of Evan's heartbeats knowing his precious baby was doing
fine.
"Louis we have to wait until they get here." Harry slowly said waiting for it
when Louis narrowed his eyes.
"It's your fault I'm like this and I'm dying! The least you could do is go get
them or put me out of my misery. Why did I let you fuck me without a condom?
But never again you hear me, never again." Louis began tearing up then turned
his head to the other side ignoring and not wanting to look at him.
"Babe..." Harry sighed wanting to hold his hand.
"Oh shut up for the love of God, your voice is so annoying." Louis finally
snapped breathing in and out then held back a scream grabbing Harry's wrist
making him almost let out a scream too seeing the angry red shape of Louis'
fingers after he let go.
"Hello Mr. Tomlinson, Mr. Styles. I'm Dr. Collins, the anesthesiologist." A
tall brunet walked in just after Louis had let go of Harry's wrist.
"Hello." Harry greeted him rubbing his wrist seeing Dr. Collins giving a
sympathetic and understanding look.
"About time." Louis rolled his eyes missing Harry smiling apologetically to the
doctor.
"Okay let's go ahead with the procedure." Dr. Collins quickly said.
After explaining the procedure a small catheter was inserted into Louis' spine
while he stayed as still as he could sitting up resting the side of his face
against Harry's chest and after the anesthesiologist was done a nurse inserted
a catheter into him to drain his urine staying there to monitor him. Around
twenty minutes later Louis began to relax while Harry used that time to go to
the bathroom then came back and sat down replying to a text from Gemma wanting
to know how they were doing.
"Harry...Haz, love of my life are you mad at me?" Louis asked feeling around
for Harry's hand smiling when he found it.
"Of course not. Why would I be mad at you?" Harry asked putting his phone away
then began rubbing the top of Louis' hand with his thumb smiling at the nurse.
" 'Cause I said your voice was annoying but I didn't mean it. I love your
voice...especially when I wake you up with my mouth around your cock and- and
you shout my name when you come." Louis giggled when Harry put a hand over his
mouth to shut him up blushing a deep red unable to look at the nurse.
"Why don't we talk about that later and you go to sleep now." Harry nervously
chuckled while Louis tried to move his hand doing so when he licked it.
"I'm sorry I didn't covered my teeth with my lips though..." Louis continued
ignoring Harry's attempts to make him stop talking when he was on a roll trying
to apologize.
"It's okay love, don't worry about it."
"Thank you for trusting me again with your dick. I was good the second time,
right? Right?" Louis nervously asked fiddling with his fingers.
"You were amazing...now shush, we have company." Harry smiled just as the nurse
smiled at them and left the room telling them they would come back in a few
minutes to get him ready.
"She heard me didn't she?" Louis blushed a deep red hiding his face with his
hands.
"Don't worry about it, its not like she's gonna go talk about it to all the
staff." Harry chuckled pulling Louis' hands away from his face.
Louis gave him a tiny smile then focused on Harry's tattoos now that he had
taken his hoodie off wondering what was the meaning of each and everyone of
them since he had gotten them all during the almost five years they didn't see
each other. He recognized the 'A' and 'g' as Anne and Gemma's initials and
Logan's name written on his left arm just below the ship, it was strange to him
that he had all his tattoos on his left and none on his right side. He smiled
remembering how he had noticed Logan's name tattooed in cursive when he had
fallen asleep on the couch with her after they had been outside all day riding
her bike while Harry mowed the yard.
"Why do you have so many tattoos? You used to hate them." Louis asked out of
nowhere surprising Harry who looked anywhere else but him.
"I went with Liam when he got one and I don't even know why but I ended up
getting one too and after that I couldn't really stop." Harry explained resting
his chin on his hand.
"But why did you get them, what's the meaning behind them? I want to know the
meaning from the very first one up to the last one." Louis insisted.
"Louis I don't- "
"Oh c'mon Harreh, I want to know." Louis interrupted and smiled when Harry
sighed knowing he had convinced him.
"The first ones I got were the birdcage and the theatrical masks a few days
after I moved to Manchester...they symbolize how trapped and fake I was. The
third one I got was the ship when Liam got his second one a few days after I
got out of rehab and its supposed to mean a new beginning, a new journey when I
thought that maybe I could move on and start over...hey don't cry. Louis..."
Harry pressed his lips against Louis' forehead brushing his fingers through his
hair.
"I'm sorry, I just...go ahead." Louis took a deep breath.
"Not if it's going to upset you, Louis its supposed to be a happy day today."
"I'm okay." Louis insisted.
"Okay then...after that I got the 'A' and 'g' tattoo as well as the Hi one,
it's the first thing you said to me after you sprayed me with the water hose
and then all I said was 'Oops' but I think it was a great ice breaker." Harry
chuckled when Louis closed his eyes in embarrassment.
"That was embarrassing, all I wanted was to wash the mud off of my bike and
keep riding before dark but you had to go and stand there like a dumbass."
Louis groaned wincing a bit when he felt minor pain in his lower stomach but
quickly went away.
"I just wanted to talk to you, see if I could ride my bike with you and it
worked. Next I got the butterfly tattoo because that was the day we had so much
fun...and also that day I noticed how pretty you looked running around and
laughing." Harry remembered that day as if it had only happened the day before.
Louis blushed then laughed remembering when they were fourteen and the trees in
their backyards had gotten infested with larvae that later turned into
butterflies to the point that there were hundreds of them flying everywhere and
the girls especially Gemma just loved them. Fed up with them Robin and Mark had
offered money to the two boys in exchange for getting rid of them and it would
have worked if it hadn't been for Gemma walking out in the middle of their
killing spree crying and screaming at them to stop getting their mums involved
who ended up making them stop.
"I think Gemma really wanted to kill us." Louis sighed rubbing his belly,
something he loved to do.
"Are you kidding me? I had to sleep with my door locked for a week after that,
and I was paranoid after she said she would get us back." Harry said widening
his eyes in horror just by remembering that.
"Nothing happened and you're still here. What about the others?" Louis grabbed
Harry's hand putting it over his belly.
"When I turned nineteen I got the sparrows flying towards each other and the
one in the left is supposed to represent you and the one on the right me. Birds
don't have eyebrows Lou." Harry explained when Louis gave him a confused look.
"You should add another two little ones there too." Louis teased.
"Hmm, that's actually not a bad idea." Harry thoughtfully said.
"Harold I was kidding." Louis quickly said.
"Fine I won't. Okay...so a year later I got the anchor on my wrist and a few
months later the heart and you know about the Logan one. You yelled at me for
it." Harry smiled.
"Well I wanted to go with you but you just went off and got it then didn't even
bothered telling me until I saw it." Louis rolled his eyes then asked the one
thing he had always wanted to know. "Why is the anchor missing the rope and the
heart the arrow?"
"I...back then I felt like I was missing a big part of me and I really missed
you so I just got half the tattoo thinking that maybe one day I'll get to go
back and complete them." Harry sighed at the end leaning down to rest his head
next to Louis' feeling his hand on his cheek rubbing it with his thumb.
"Maybe I should get the other two missing parts on my right, that way we will
always complete each other." Louis whispered looking back at Harry, their lips
mere inches apart.
"You don't have to." Harry murmured pecking his lips.
"But I want to and I already decided that I will get them so don't even try to
stop me Harry Edward." Louis said so sure of himself.
"I'll hold your hand, I will always hold your hand."
"I know."
Harry wanted to say something else when two nurses walked in telling them it
was time making Louis grab Harry's hand giving him a nervous look which Harry
quickly held back silently telling him it was going to be okay. He was wheeled
into the birthing room and as soon as he was ready he waited for Harry trying
to relax when his legs and arms were secured and a curtain was set up above his
chest, moments later Harry was by his side dressed in hospital scrubs and
grabbed his hand kissing his temple telling him how much he loved him.
"Relax Louis, it will be the same procedure as last time." Dr. Lane said then
got to work while Harry kept holding his hand nervous about becoming a father
again and tried not to faint because this time he would be there next to Louis
to welcome their baby into the world.
Louis let the tears roll down his temples when he began to feel pressure and
then pulling remembering how different Logan's birth had been from this one
then closed his eyes pushing the pain away. He wanted to open his eyes but was
afraid it would be Andy standing by his side and not Harry then asked himself
to open them when he felt his lips against his temple and Harry's voice telling
him he was okay.
"Promise me you're still going to love him no matter what, Harry please." Louis
pleaded letting more tears fall that Harry was quick to kiss away.
"Of course I'll still love him, he's our son and I will always love him no
matter what." Harry promised kissing the corner of Louis' lips.
They both froze and looked at each other with tears in their eyes feeling like
time had stopped when they heard Dr. Lane and the rest of the team saying a
cheerful happy birthday then moments later Louis let out a muffled sob and
Harry couldn't help the millions of tears rolling down his cheeks when both of
them heard his loud cries for the very first time filling the room and feeling
many emotions running through their bodies.
They watched the neonatal nurse they had met earlier carrying a tiny wiggly
body over to a small table set up for him where she began to clean him up then
grabbed a ophthalmoscope to check his eyes as he wiggled around still crying.
When she was done she put a tiny blue hat on his head before swaddling him in
one of the few white blankets they had brought with them to receive him in. As
soon as she picked him up again he had calmed down a bit and as she turned
around Louis tightened his hold on Harry's hand, both of them holding their
breaths waiting while Harry kept his lips pressed against Louis' temple seeing
the tiny creature they had created in her arms.
"His vision is perfect. He's a perfect little boy." She said letting herself
smile warmly when they let out a shaky breath and Louis started crying.
He fell in love with his son all over again when he felt his warm tiny body
resting against him leaning his head in to kiss his forehead while Harry held
him in place to keep him from falling.
"Hi." Louis whispered so low and soft afraid of startling him smiling when the
small baby blinked looking up at him in wonder and curiosity opening his tiny
lips into an O as soon as Louis smiled only looking away from him to look at
Harry who couldn't take his eyes off of their son.
"He's so tiny." Harry let out a watery chuckle then slowly as if he was afraid
of hurting him caressed his cheek with the back of his index finger.
"Hold him before they take him." Louis said smiling when Harry carefully picked
him up holding him up in front of him then cradled him against his chest
kissing the tip of his nose.
"Hi baby boy." Harry whispered.
Minutes later the baby was taken and Harry was asked to wait in the recovery
room while they finished the procedure and before he knew it Louis was in a new
room with Harry by his side waiting for the nurse to bring their baby. He had
been born November 19 instead of the 20th at exactly four thirty in the
morning. Louis had managed to fall asleep for a bit while Harry went crazy
calling everyone to let them know Evan was already there and his vision was
perfect, Zayn had promised to bring Logan after school then would go back later
that day to see them wanting Logan to meet her baby brother with just the two
of them there.
He quickly sat up glancing at a sleeping Louis when he heard a knock then
smiled when the nurse walked in rolling a plastic bassinet placing it in
between the sofa Harry was sitting on and Louis' bed before waking Louis up.
"It's time to feed him, figured you would want to do it." She explained helping
him up into a sitting position then picked up the whimpering baby and set him
down into Louis' awaiting arms.
She left them alone after Louis let her know he knew how to feed him and after
she told them Dr. Lane and a pediatrician would be there later that day to make
sure he was doing fine and talk about the baby's test results. He accommodated
the baby to make it more comfortable seeing he was wearing one of the bodysuits
with a teddy bear on the front that Gemma and Logan had gotten him.
"What are you doing sitting there...come sit next to us." Louis smiled grabbing
the bottle lightly pressing the teat against Evan's lips chuckling when he
began sucking on it rather eagerly just as Harry sat down next to him careful
not to hurt him.
"He has your nose and your lips...and I hope his eyes stay blue." Harry
whispered grabbing one of his tiny warm and soft hands.
"Does he even have any hair?" Louis asked waiting for Harry to remove his hat
revealing a head full of dark brown and straight short hair like his own except
it was darker like Harry's.
"Perfect." Harry said loving every bit of his son.
"There goes my idea of having another child with curly hair." Louis joked just
as Harry tried to put it back on leaving it a little off to the left.
"I'm just glad and thankful he's okay and can see, I would've never forgiven
myself if this had turned out completely different." Harry tried to keep his
voice low not wanting to disturb Evan who had his eyes closed and his mouth
movements were slowing down until they stopped and he was asleep.
He put him back in his bassinet then let Louis go back to sleep taking a seat
on the sofa wanting to stay awake but soon the exhaustion won and he fell
asleep curled up into a ball unable to wait so he could see Logan and for her
to meet her Bubbie. When he woke up again at around eight he smiled seeing his
two loves still asleep and as quietly as he could got up to the bathroom coming
back more aware, a clean face and mouth walking up to the bassinet kissing him
on the forehead doing the same to Louis. Later that day after Louis had fed
Evan he was moved back to his old room where he would be more comfortable and
be able to have visits as long as he was feeling okay.
****
"How are you feeling Louis?" Dr. Lane asked walking into the room with another
doctor Louis assumed was the pediatrician then remembered him as Dr. Jones.
"Just a bit tired and sore but I'm feeling okay." Louis answered, all of them
looking at the bassinet when Evan let out a tiny sneeze followed by a chorus of
bless you's from the adults.
"Make sure to let the nurse know if it gets too painful, I don't want you to be
in so much pain. Depending on how good you're feeling and if no infections
develop you might be able to go home in a few days but try to rest as much as
you can. This is Dr. Jones and as you know Evan still had to be tested even
though his vision is completely fine." Dr. Lane informed them then let Dr.
Jones give them the results.
"We did a series of tests and they all came back normal except for one for what
might have been his condition, there's no need to worry...he's a healthy baby;
six pounds, eight ounces and nineteen inches. I'm not sure if they told you how
much he weighed and measured." Jones quickly explained seeing the panic on
their faces. "His vision is completely fine and he won't have any problems with
that but he is a carrier for LCA, there's a possibility that later in life he
might pass it down to his children."
"So there's absolutely nothing to worry about?" Harry asked holding onto Louis'
hand.
"Nothing." He smiled.
When they were finally left alone Louis had eaten something light for breakfast
then decided to take a nap before Logan could get there wanting to be well
rested to see her again while Harry stayed awake sitting on the sofa holding a
drowsy Evan who would blink a few times keeping his gaze up at Harry. At around
noon it was Harry who fed Evan with Louis' help concentrating as hard as he
could afraid of hurting him or doing something wrong since it was the very
first time doing it while Louis smiled.
While he rested Harry sat down with Evan in his arms not wanting to put him
down just yet while Louis smiled seeing him completely fascinated with their
son's tiny ten toes and fingers wanting to coo at them when the baby grabbed
one of Harry's fingers in a tight hold with his tiny hand. Harry let out a soft
surprised sound, raised his eyebrows and blinked in wonder while his lips
parted into an O then smiled leaning down to kiss the tiny knuckles smiling
bigger when the baby let out a tiny squeak.
"The nurse told me you changed his diaper." Louis said getting Harry's
attention long enough to give him a good look and see how tired he looked.
"Yeah...I think she was losing her patience especially when I put way too much
baby powder." Harry chuckled getting a bit startled when Evan let out a loud
cry just as his phone went off letting him know Zayn was there.
"I got him, you go get Logan so she can meet her Bubble." Louis smiled taking
Evan, both getting a kiss from Harry chuckling when the tiny boy flailed his
arms around after escaping the blue blanket holding them down.
~*~
As soon as Harry had gotten out of the elevator he spotted Zayn sitting on a
chair in the welcome center with Logan on his lap eating mini Oreos from a bag
she was holding still wearing her backpack on her back. She smiled and waved at
him as soon as she saw him then pulled on Zayn's fingers as the dark haired man
stood up giving her to Harry.
"How are they? You look like hell but you're glowing, look at you and are those
Louis' fingerprints?" Zayn raised his eyebrows seeing Harry's wrist a little
bruised up.
"He was in the middle of a contraction. They're okay and Evan looks just like
Louis." Harry beamed with happiness hugging Logan close to him.
"Niall and I will come see them after work...I have to go back but tell Louis
we'll be here later. Congratulations."
"I will and thanks for watching her."
"No problem. I'll see you later cupcake, I love you." Zayn gave her a quick
kiss.
"See You later uncle Zayn, I love you too." Logan smiled waving until Zayn
turned around to leave.
"Did you had fun at school?" Harry asked her kissing her cheek while she ate
another cookie giving him the part with no filling.
"Yes, I played hide-n-seek and I found them all daddy and then I ate the PB & J
sandwich uncle Niall made for me. It was yummy." Logan babbled while Harry
listened.
"Uncle Zayn got you the Oreos?" Harry shifted her to his other hip after
letting her press the elevator button.
"Yes and I said lots of thank you's and gave him lots of kisses. We gonna go
see daddy now? Why is daddy here?" She asked fiddling with the collar of
Harry's shirt.
"Yup, we're gonna go see daddy and there's a little person that wants to meet
you too." Harry informed her getting her ready to meet her brother.
She stayed quiet for the rest of the way up and when they were outside the door
of Louis' room he took a deep breath and opened the door seeing Louis cooing at
Evan before kissing his hand then looked at Logan just in time to see her
staring at the bundle of blue blankets in her daddy's arms. She narrowed her
eyes then furrowed her brow the way she did when she didn't liked something or
was jealous. Louis shifted the baby a little to be more comfortable looking at
Harry with worry in his eyes seeing the way she was behaving, something he had
been dreading since the moment he found out he was pregnant again.
"Hi sweetheart, I missed you." Louis smiled at her while she only had eyes for
the baby.
"I think your Bubble wants to meet you lovebug." Harry whispered.
He didn't waited for her to say something and instead walked up to Louis and
set her down on the bed next to him after telling her to be careful with
daddy's tummy because he was still a bit sore after Bubbie had to come out. She
was pouting while Louis and Harry waited nervously for any kind of reaction
relaxing when the baby opened his eyes letting out a tiny yawn and her pout
slowly turned into a smile and slowly touched his hand with her finger wanting
to pull it back a bit startled when Evan grabbed it trapping it inside his tiny
fist.
"Hi Bubbie...that's my finger silly." Logan giggled then leaned down to kiss
his forehead while Harry made sure to get pictures wanting to keep that moment
forever.
"Do you want to hold him love? Give me a kiss before you do." Louis said
getting a big kiss from her.
She stayed still sitting on the bed with her legs hanging from the side smiling
when Harry set the baby in her arms never letting go until he began whimpering
and was given back to Louis. They smiled adoring their baby girl when she
offered one of her Oreos with the filling still on to him then explained he
could only eat baby formula for now but he would be able to eat like her when
he got older.
"Our mums will be here later and Gemma already offered to spend the night with
you but I told her I'm staying and she's just going to bring me clean clothes."
Harry said watching Logan to keep her from moving too much while she only had
eyes for Evan.
"Bet she's so excited to meet him." Louis looked up at Harry from where he was
feeding him knowing their son had a big appetite.
"He's my Bubbie daddies. Right Bubbie? You're my baby Bubbie, yes you are." She
cooed taking his hat off to see if he had any hair then tried to put it back on
pleased to know he had a lot and wasn't bald like her baby dolls.
****
"We're all going home now?" She asked a while later already bored while Evan
slept in his bassinet much to her annoyance when all she wanted was to play
with him.
"Daddie and Bubbie have to stay a little longer but I think auntie Gemma is
coming to get you." Harry poked her cheek earning a giggle.
"Now?" She asked.
"No, not yet. We have to wait little longer." Harry answered.
She continued minding her own business and coloring a page in her book until
Evan started crying and they were left amazed at how fast she was out of her
seat and next to him trying to comfort him as much as she could patting his
chest even though she could barely see him. And when Harry carefully picked him
up as if he would break at any moment Louis just smiled at how concentrated he
seemed to be by just the simple task of holding their son while Logan wondered
out loud how in the world had he been able to fit inside daddy's tummy then
answered her own question telling him their daddy could do magic.
He happily sighed being at his happiest watching Harry accommodating Logan on
his lap while he held Evan with his other arm where they looked so small and
not wanting it to turn into just a vague memory in his head he grabbed Harry's
phone capturing the moment. When he looked back at them out was to see Harry
smiling mouthing a thank you and a little bit later an I love you with him
doing the same meaning every single word.
Chapter End Notes
     The baby on the pic is older but that's how I imagine Evan, try to
     imagine him as a newborn lol. I hope you guys like the chapter. :)
      
      

     [ photo PicsArt_1402009886983_zpsa4e37d67.jpg]
      
     Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     PicsArt_1402009886983_zpsa4e37d67.jpg
     Thoughts? :)
***** I want to be heard *****
Chapter Notes
     If you can't see the pic just right click on it or select view image
     if you're on mobile. For some reason I can't see them but if you can
     great! You guys should listen to the song. Sorry for the late update
     and I hope you guys like this chapter. Enjoy! :)
      
     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-4ey7gs06o
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
By the time their families showed up that afternoon Logan was passed out in the
sofa and Evan wide awake waiting for Louis to feed him full on crying at first
to let them know he was hungry then little whimpering sounds until Louis would
feed him. He would eat while looking up at Louis never taking his blue eyes off
of him that Harry was fully convinced would stay that way and be a little bluer
than Louis'.
 
Even though he couldn't focus them yet he would only blink getting drowsy
falling completely asleep with the teat still in his mouth sucking until the
bottle was empty holding onto Louis' pinky finger with his tiny hand. With a
smile on his face Louis had mentioned to Harry how calm Evan was while waiting
to be fed instead of crying louder and louder the longer he would take to feed
him like Logan used to do when she was a baby. The first ones to visit were Jay
and Anne with already teary eyes seeing a tired but happy Louis holding their
grandson in a bundle of blankets and Harry sitting on the sofa next to Logan
getting the hair out of her face.
 
"Oh look at him, he's a beauty." Jay smiled looking down at the sleeping baby.
 
"He looks just like Louis, he's such a precious little boy." Anne smiled.
 
"Who's going to hold him first?" Louis asked getting ready to hand him over
watching them in amusement trying to decide who.
 
"Anne you are going to hold him first." Jay decided getting out of the way
pushing her forward.
 
Louis gave him to her watching how Anne couldn't hold back the tears and
started crying while looking down at Evan already loving the tiny boy in her
arms with all her heart and apologizing for crying making Harry look away and
feel bad for taking away her chance of holding Logan when she had been born.
Logan chose that moment to wake up and look around rubbing the sleep out of her
eyes quickly getting up latching onto her Ninna's leg as soon as she saw her
crying kissing her thigh multiple times to get her to stop crying.
 
"Don't cry Ninna, Bubbie's okay...I'm okay. And daddies are okay too." Logan
looked up at her with sad teary eyes about to cry.
 
"They're happy tears pumpkin, you get them when you're happy." Anne bent down
hugging Logan close to her and the baby.
 
"You're happy because I love you and my Bubbie loves you too." Logan kissed her
cheek smiling when Anne kissed her back.
 
She held both of her grandchildren for a little longer before giving Evan to
Jay taking a seat next to her with Logan in her lap while Louis couldn't help
but notice how quiet Harry was. By the time Jay gave Evan back to Louis, Mark,
Robin and Gemma walked into the room holding flowers and blue balloons as well
as a gift for Logan not wanting her to get jealous then watched as she happily
opened it hugging the superhero action figures thanking them then got up to hug
them giving them kisses. Gemma wanting to hold her nephew a bit longer let Mark
and Robin hold him first while she patiently waited coloring with Logan until
it was her turn and giving Logan a kiss on the cheek she took Evan from Robin
who as well as Mark were the proudest grandparents to two wonderful kids, Gemma
smiled happy to see he was awake as he waved his arms around already wearing a
pair of white mittens after almost scratching his face.
 
"Aren't you the cutest baby ever...my God look at those gorgeous blue eyes and
those eyelashes, you definitely take after Louis don't you." Gemma cooed moving
over to the corner to have alone time with him.
 
"Are the girls outside mum?" Louis asked Jay who nodded at Mark to let them in
knowing how loud they could get.
 
Lottie and Felicite rushed to Louis while the twins quietly walked up to Gemma
wanting to see Louis' new baby. After she let them hold him they focused their
attention on Logan who seemed happy with it while the two older girls gave all
their attention to Evan.
 
"He's so cute Lou...and he looks a bit like Logan when she was a baby." Lottie
smiled down at the baby in her arms while Felicite fixed his hat.
 
"Except she had the cutest curls." Felicite sighed kissing the top of his head.
 
"How are you feeling love?" Jay asked her son as soon as she got a chance alone
with him.
 
"Great...happy." Louis smiled watching Gemma trying to take Logan out of
Harry's arms as he slapped them away shielding a giggling little girl from her
with his body while Anne tried to make them quit laughing when Gemma used her
as a shield and Harry immediately stopped slapping her hands away.
 
"You look happy, I see that tiny spark in your eyes again and its the best
thing I've ever seen." Jay started crying feeling Louis' arms wrapping around
her waist just like when he was little.
 
"I am happy mummy...don't worry about me ever again, I'm okay so please don't
be sad ever again." Louis mumbled against her stomach feeling her fingers
massaging the back of his head.
 
Later that afternoon Louis couldn't help but feel sad when his parents and
sister had to go back as well as Robin and after a long goodbye they left
leaving Anne and Gemma behind who decided to go home and take Logan with them.
She had cried herself to sleep next to Louis not wanting to leave them behind
but she had to take a bath and get a good night sleep so she could be well
rested for school the next day. Almost half an hour before visiting hours were
over Zayn, Niall, Liam and Eleanor walked in through the door holding blue
balloons wanting to meet their nephew. Zayn was the first through the door
making Louis laugh when he saw the video camera in his hands filming everyone
holding him until it was his turn handing it over to Niall then gently took the
baby from Eleanor.
 
"He's so adorable and he's going to be a heartbreaker. Aren't you baby boy."
Eleanor cooed taking his hand rubbing the top of it with her thumb.
 
"Both of your kids are going to break hearts left and right." Liam teased then
focused back on Evan making silly faces.
 
"Please tell me he already pooped on Harry because I don't want to be the only
one. Logan did it to me and now he has to do it to Harry." Zayn looked at
everyone with raised eyebrows.
 
"Sorry Zayn." Louis said then laughed when he pouted.
 
"One day." Zayn said rocking him to get him to stop crying smiling when he
calmed down.
 
"Look at that! He calms down when you rock him and Logan never did, she only
cried louder...It's like he's familiar with it..." Niall trailed off, a look of
realization crossing across their faces making Louis blush an angry red and
Harry grab his hand squeezing it a bit.
 
"So when do you go home Lou?" Eleanor asked putting a hand over Zayn's mouth to
keep him from teasing them.
 
"I think Friday but if I could I would go now, I just want to sleep in my own
bed." Louis sighed wincing a bit in pain groaning when he heard Zayn softly
singing rock-a-bye-baby while rocking him looking straight at him.
 
"Zayn quit it." Niall smacked the back of his head.
 
"Just wait until you have your own." Louis playfully rolled his eyes giving him
a weird look widening his eyes in surprise seeing Zayn smiling like a fool.
 
"Niall James Horan are you pregnant!" Louis exclaimed startling Evan letting
out a loud wail calming down when Zayn softly rocked him.
 
"I'm not, Zayn's just messing with you Lou. We already agreed on no kids until
we're married and a hundred percent ready and sure that we can care for a
baby." Niall cleared things out taking a seat next to Louis.
 
"That's reasonable. How's all the planning going?" Louis asked both Zayn and
Niall.
 
"We're getting there...can be a bit frustrating sometimes but we're so
excited." Niall smiled at Zayn who only had eyes for the blond at the moment.
 
"And like I promised, I will help you with the rest now that Evan's out."
 
"Thanks Lou."
 
~*~
 
The next day Louis was allowed to take a shower insisting on doing it on his
own while Harry who had already showered the night before stayed with Evan. He
tried to dress faster hearing his son's cries getting louder and louder
relaxing when they stopped then walked out of the bathroom seeing a disheveled
and flustered Harry with the tip of his pinky on Evan's mouth while he
furiously sucked on it.
 
"You okay love?" Louis asked slowly walking up to them taking a seat on the
sofa next to Harry.
 
"Yeah I'm okay." Harry sighed then let out a tiny whimper when Evan started
crying again.
 
"Harry..."
 
"I- I did something wrong...y- you left and he started crying and I knew he was
going to hate me, I'm already a horrible father to him. Louis I made him cry."
Harry nervously babbled until Louis shut him up with a kiss then pulled away
smacking the back of his head.
 
"You're a great father and he doesn't hate you. His blanket is a bit loose and
it needs to be a little more secure around him so he feels safe, nice and
warm...he's just a day old and probably not used to being out of me yet. You
already proved you're an amazing dad, you'll learn how to take care of him soon
enough so don't worry." Louis smiled rubbing on the spot where he had smacked
him then secured the blanket around him letting him fall asleep.
 
"How do you do it?" Harry asked looking at him.
 
"You just make sure it's not too tight around him." Louis shrugged.
 
"No. How do you do it?" Harry asked again.
 
"Do what?" Louis furrowed his brow in confusion.
 
"How are you so patient with me...and why? You're amazing and beautiful you
know." Harry smiled looking down at the sleeping baby.
 
"I am amazing and beautiful...I'm offended you just figured it out." Louis
teased resting his head on his shoulder.
 
"I figured it out a long time ago...I was just too stupid to not let you know."
Harry wrapped an arm around Louis kissing the side of his head.
 
"Don't get mad okay, but...if you had the chance to see Adam again would you?"
Louis asked closing his eyes when he felt Harry stiffening.
 
"I...I don't know, I know I'm no better than him but I never understood how a
father can torture his own children the way he tortured Gemma and I like we
meant nothing to him. That was before I knew about Logan and after I found out
about her I knew I would never understand it...I would never hurt them or let
anyone or anything hurt them, I would give up my life for them. All I wanted
was for him to accept me and love me again but I realized he never loved me in
the first place." Harry felt a lump in his throat as he spoke while his vision
blurred with unshed tears he willed away lifting Evan up to kiss his forehead.
 
Louis never asked about Adam again and instead wrapped his arms around him
kissing his jawline whispering he loved him wiping a tear away feeling horrible
for bringing it up. By the time Gemma and Anne showed up with a hyper Logan who
went straight to Evan happy to see her was awake, Harry's nose was still a
little red but lucky for him his mother and sister didn't noticed he had been
crying. He helped Louis walk around the hallways wanting to take Logan with
them to spend time with her but she had waved them off telling them they'll be
okay without her only paying attention to her brother and asking Anne if she
could hold him.
 
~*~
 
The next day which was a Friday it was finally time for Louis and Evan to go
home, Harry had Evan in his car seat while Louis was wheeled to the car in a
wheelchair by a nurse. Louis had made sure their baby was bundled up for the
already cold London air dressed in a white long-sleeve bodysuit with cute fox
patterns, a navy zip-front hooded cardigan and pull on pants wearing the tiny
sneakers Harry had gotten him loving how excited Harry was when he put them on.
As soon as Louis and Evan were in the backseat and Harry on the driver's side
they headed home taking longer to get there when Harry drove slower than usual
paranoid of getting into an accident and hurting Louis' stitches that according
to Dr. Lane were healing nicely. He would yelp then ask Louis if they were okay
every time he would hit a bump then drive slower until he was stopped by a cop
who let them go when he saw why he was driving so slow. Anne was already
waiting for them at the front door helping Louis out of the car while Harry
grabbed Evan making high pitched noises chuckling when Evan only blinked at him
sucking on his thumb following his mum and Louis to their bedroom.
 
"Is Gemma picking Logan up from school?" Harry asked letting his mum take the
baby out and hold him.
 
"Yeah love, she just left." Anne glanced at Harry then focused her attention
back on the baby.
 
"Are you hurting, you need something?" Harry questioned Louis seeing him
frowning a bit.
 
"No, I'm okay." Louis smiled.
 
With Harry's help Louis moved to the keeping room smiling and thanking Anne
when she placed Evan in the bassinet basket next to him then left them alone to
prepare lunch. A few minutes later Harry walked in with Buttercup keeping his
leash in a tight hold then watched Louis take him out of the basket to
introduce him to the dog smiling when he slowly sniffed him then rested his
hand on Louis' lap looking up at the baby in the same way he would to Logan
when she was sleeping and he was looking after her guarding her from any harm.
 
"I think Buttercup likes him. Don't you boy, you like Evan." Harry pet him then
let him go when they heard Logan shouting that she was home startling Evan
letting out a whimper.
 
They saw her running into the kitchen to give Anne a hug and a kiss doing a
double-take seeing Louis sitting on the couch smiling at her then after hugging
Anne's legs she ran to them. Harry picked her up kissing her forehead then sat
down next to Louis where she gave him a kiss then focused on Evan who had his
eyes open and sucking on his pacifier, not the one Harry had given him because
he wanted to keep it like the pink one from Logan's he still had.
 
"Hi baby Bubbie, I missed you." Logan cooed grabbing one of his hands balled
into fists trying to open it up smiling when it did then pouted when Evan moved
his hand away balling it into a fist again.
 
"How was school love?" Louis asked her smiling at how careful she was with him.
 
"Good. Daddies I told Mrs. Teasdale I'm a big sister and she thinks I'm the
best big sister ever and says Bubbie loves me lots like I love him. I love you
my Bubbie." Logan kissed his hand then wrapped an arm around Harry's neck
resting her right cheek against Harry's left one.
 
"Is Tabitha being nice to you and Lux?" Louis asked brushing her hair with his
fingers.
 
"Yes, she doesn't push me or pulls my hair 'cause I pulled hers and it hurt."
Logan explained playing with her hair comparing one of her curls to Harry
seeing hers were a different color.
 
"Just be nice to her okay bug." Harry wrapped his arms around her.
 
"Food's ready. Pumpkin come wash your hands." Anne called from the kitchen
making Logan jump out of Harry's arms and run to her stopping halfway there
turning around to go back and kiss Evan before going back to the kitchen.
 
That afternoon Harry was put in charge of giving Evan his first ever bath with
Anne's help while Louis observed and Logan and Gemma were out shopping. Louis
smiled while Harry held a naked and wiggly Evan ready to set him down in the
tub and as soon as he did he let out a loud wail pouting his tiny bottom lip
making Harry hold him back against his warm naked chest where he calmed down.
 
"Harry you have to put him down and hold his head up, I can't help you if
you're gonna be holding him all the time." Anne gave him a stern but motherly
look and even though she had told Louis to rest he still wanted to get up and
help him knowing how insecure Harry was when he pouted looking at his mum then
back at Evan.
 
"But he doesn't like it. See?" Harry said lowering him down again where he
pouted then his lip trembled before he started crying again until he felt
Harry's warmth once again.
 
"Harry..."
 
"Mum..."
 
"..."
 
"Babe you have to put him down even if he cries, he needs a bath and he'll be
okay...he'll get used to it. I promise he's not hurting." Louis reassured him
while Anne watched with a tiny smile how that seemed to do the trick when Harry
put him down mumbling I'm sorry's.
 
He held him and listened to Anne as she explained to him what to do and how to
do it while Evan cried his little heart out and Louis watched knowing how much
it meant for Anne that they were letting her help them hearing her soothing him
in a warm and soft motherly voice. He was still crying when Gemma and Logan
walked in and as fast as Logan could she rushed over to them before she started
crying just by hearing and seeing her brother crying.
 
"Daddy he doesn't like it and its hurting him." Logan cried running to Louis
where he hugged her kissing the top of her head.
 
"He's not hurting love, he just doesn't like the baths right now because he's
still little but he will later on." Louis explained rubbing her back until she
stopped crying as soon as Evan did wrapped in a fluffy blue towel.
 
Harry dressed him up into tiny footed pajamas with a teddy bear design on the
small pocket leaving Harry confused and wondering why the hell did it had a
pocket then smiled putting his pacifier in it putting said pocket to use then
put a hat on his head that Logan had helped him pick. That night Louis finally
went to bed content with being close to Harry who as soon as his head had hit
the pillow had fallen asleep with his mouth wide open until Louis slowly closed
it up kissing the tip of his nose quickly looking over at the bassinet hearing
a tiny whimper before it was silent again.
 
Evan had woken up a total of four times wanting to be fed or needing a diaper
change and by morning Louis didn't had the heart to wake Harry up for his daily
morning jog around the block which he hated ever since many of the female
neighbors started running too just to flirt with him to the point where he
would snog the shit out of him at the front door before letting him go watching
them scowl at him with a smile on his face knowing Harry was all his. He would
laugh at them for acting like fools not knowing the difference between Harry
being nice and polite, and Harry flirting. Instead he let him sleep telling
Anne and Gemma he had been the one taking care of Evan all night.
 
At around ten Louis was feeding Evan while Logan watched them when Harry walked
into the kitchen fully awake and dressed kissing all three of them then warmed
up the plate of food Anne had left for him and as soon as it was warm enough he
sat down to eat next to Louis giving Logan a piece of bacon smiling when she
gave him a toothy smile. He was almost done eating when they heard Anne and
Gemma arguing while Gemma tried to stop Anne from walking into the kitchen.
 
"What's going on?" Harry pushed his plate away.
 
"Nothing H, mum and I were just having a little argument...nothing to worry
about." Gemma quickly said.
 
"Gemma please." Anne sighed rubbing her hands on her face.
 
"No mum, just no! Don't you dare tell him...he doesn't have to go just like I'm
not going, I don't care if his time is running out." Gemma hissed as her eyes
filled with tears and Harry could see the sorrow in them.
 
"He has to know." Anne insisted.
 
"Whatever...go ahead and hurt him then." Gemma glared taking Evan when Louis
gave him to her then took Logan's hand and walked out of the kitchen taking
them downstairs to the playroom.
 
"Harry...it's Adam, you and Gemma have to go see him." Anne carefully told him
watching Harry go as white as a ghost then Louis grabbing his hand.
 
"No, I'm not going. I don't want to see him and I can't leave Louis and the
kids alone or take them with me, Logan has school and Evan's not even a week
old...he's too little." Harry quickly declined.
 
"Harry..." Anne insisted.
 
"I said I'm not going...mum you can't make me." Harry desperately begged when
he couldn't deny his mother anything.
 
"Harry he's dying...he doesn't have much time left." Anne said watching Harry's
face drop knowing that deep inside her son still cared about him.
 
"W- what? What happened?" Harry tightened his grip on Louis' hand trying not to
cry.
 
"He was badly beat up and stabbed multiple times, Robin said its a miracle he's
still alive and...they- they cut, they cut his tongue off. He can't talk." Anne
explaining rushing to him when Louis couldn't support his weight.
 
~*~
 
Much to Harry's protests Louis ended up packing a few bags for them and the
kids not wanting to let him go alone and soon they were outside their parents
houses unloading their bags while Gemma kept her distance from Anne still angry
at her for telling Harry. As soon as they were accommodated and Evan was
sleeping in his bassinet as well as Logan on the bed next to him Louis stayed
there to watch them while Harry did what he had to do after convincing Gemma to
go see him at the hospital.
 
When they got there two police men were guarding the door and Gemma was let in
first coming back out twenty minutes later with red rimmed swollen eyes and a
red nose throwing herself at Harry into a hug that he quickly returned kissing
the side of her head. She tightened her grip around him then let him go inside
where he fought the urge to cry and leave seeing him bruised up, hands
handcuffed to the bed rails and his mouth where he no longer had a tongue
covered by a bandage looking weak and almost dead.
 
He took a seat next to him waiting for him to open his eyes and when he did all
he saw was a mixture of sadness and regret yet he could still see it in his
eyes hating that his only son liked men. They had told him he was badly beat up
after the other inmates had found out why he was there and what he had done to
his own children. He looked him in the eye not understanding how a father could
hate his son that much and not really knowing what to say and trying to ignore
the fear of rejection he gently took his hand in his surprised when he
tightened his grip on it wondering if he was doing it because he was dying or
because after all he still loved him.
 
"Louis and I had a baby...he's not even a week old." Harry mumbled not really
knowing what to say looking at their hands avoiding his eyes not wanting to see
the hate and disgust. "His name is Evan...you already know about Logan, she's
four...almost five this February fourteenth. I've only known her for less than
a year but I love her with all my heart." He smiled a little.
 
"You know...before I knew I was a father I've always wondered how can a father,
any father hate his children the way you hate me and now that I have two kids
I'm sure I never will. I see them and I think to myself how can I or anyone
hurt them...because I would never hurt my own flesh and blood, I- I would never
torture them the way you tortured me.
 
I know I'm no better than you and I was a monster who went as low as sexually
abusing the boy who was my best friend, the boy who had to raise a daughter on
his own because I'm the ass hole who fucked up and didn't had the right to see
her. I missed four years of her life but I'm the only one to blame for my
actions, you- you turned me into a monster...you made me feel worthless." Harry
confessed looking into his wide open eyes feeling the tears rolling down his
face as he slowly let go of his hand watching him struggle to grab it again.
 
"Sometimes I look at my daughter and think about how Gemma was once her age and
how I once was a defenseless newborn like my son, I think about how you beat
her up for trying to protect me when you watched us grow up...when you promised
you would never let anyone or anything hurt us. Your beatings, your verbal
abuse and all that torture really hurt me but not as much as hers hurt me and I
couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't protect my sister from you when I
shouldn't have had to protect in the first place because it was you who had to
love, accept and protect us no matter what.
 
Do you remember my very first day of school when I was four because I remember
it very well, I remember how scared I was and how you held my hand tight...you
took a seat next to me and told me everything was going to be okay and that you
loved me, that you'll be waiting for me at the end of the day and I believed
you. I believed everything you said and look where it got me." Harry finally
let out a sob covering his face with his hands then moved them to see him
looking the other way but that didn't stop him.
 
"You taught me how to kick a ball, I scored my very first goal for you because
I wanted you to be proud of me and I hid who I really was...I- I treated my
best friend like crap just so you would stop hurting us, just to protect
him...just so you would stop telling me how much you hated me and how disgusted
you were by me for liking men. For loving my best friend. I did everything I
could just so you could be proud of me like you were when I won all those
medals that in the end I ended up throwing away. I acted just like you so you
would love me again but you want to know what I realized? I realized that you
never loved me in the first place, you never loved me and it hurts because
after all this time...after everything you did to me I still love you and I
will always love you because you're my dad...you're my dad and no one's going
to change that." Harry cried while Adam started at the ceiling feeling weaker
and weaker.
 
"One thing I learned from you is that I will never do to my children what you
did to yours, I will never make them feel worthless or raise my hand at
them...I don't want them to be miserable like Gemma and I were. At this point
after everything I've done I'm grateful I have a family who I love and loves me
back, even though I'm ugly on the inside and I was so cruel to Louis he still
loves me and I know you hate hearing this but I love him too. I just wanted you
to accept us...Logan would've loved you you know...she's just like Louis, she
accepts and loves you no matter what and she only sees the good in people and
never their flaws. I have to go back to them but know that I will always love
you, always." Harry whispered the last words then without saying anything else
he got up from his seat and left the room.
 
He slumped down on the floor leaning against the wall next to the still open
door where he could hear every single beep coming from his father's heart
monitor then wrapped an arm around Gemma when she sat down next to him letting
her rest her head on his chest running his fingers through her hair until their
father flatlined and Gemma grabbed his hand lacing their fingers together. All
he felt were the tears rolling down his face and nothing else until he finally
let out a sob feeling Gemma's arms around him hiding his face on her chest
while he cried knowing she was hurting too by the way her shoulders shaked.
 
He cried wishing he would've been different and accepting because if he had
been then he would still be there with them and he wouldn't have to hurt the
way he was hurting. He gasped for air while Gemma held him feeling his chest
physically hurting while Gemma held him hearing his loud muffled sobs until he
calmed down and slowly got up ready to go back to his mum's place. He wanted to
get Louis and their kids and go back home, back to the life he was happy in. By
the time they left the hospital he felt numb and cold all over regretting not
staying there until his last breath but knew he just couldn't watch him die.
 
As soon as he walked through the door Louis was already there then ran to him
when Louis opened his arms feeling safe inside of them then began crying again
while Louis whispered it was going to be okay.
 
"He's gone, h- he died." Harry sobbed while Louis rubbed his back telling him
he was going to be okay.
 
Harry found himself nodding then looked to the living room where Logan was
sprawled on the couch eating popcorn and watching a movie too engrossed on it
to pay attention to anything else and Evan sleeping in the cradle 'n swing
Louis had let him pick after he had begged for days to let him get one. That
moment he swored he'll do what his own father never did, he promised to love,
protect and accept, he promised them to always love them and make them happy.
Promised to make them laugh, not cry and scream in agony. Tightening his arms
around Louis he promised to always love and protect him, love, protect and
cherish the boy he had hurt so much yet still loved him...still loved the ugly
him after all he had done.
 
~
Oh little ghost, you see the pain
But together we can make something beautiful,
So take my hand and perfectly,
We fill the gaps, you and me make three
I was meant for you, and you for me.
 
You've always loved the strange birds
Now I want to fly into your world
I want to be heard
My wounded wings still beating,
You've always loved the stranger inside...
Me, ugly pretty.
~
 
 
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_n30kpipZvS1stw8weo1_500_zpsc3f07c65.gif]
      
     Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_n30kpipZvS1stw8weo1_500_zpsc3f07c65.gif
     Thoughts? :)
***** Welcome distraction *****
Chapter Notes
     So sorry for taking forever to update! I'm guessing this fic only has
     two or three chapters left and an epilogue, sadly it has to come to
     an end. I hope you guys like this chapter. :)
     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxenUj0GsKM
     ^^You might want to listen to it. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Adam's funeral was a few days later and even though Harry wanted to go home
after getting back from the hospital he decided to stay and at least assist his
funeral always with Louis by his side who along with Logan and Evan were the
only ones who could comfort him. He was surprised when his grandmother hugged
him whispering on his ear how sorry she was for everything he had done to him
and Gemma and how she should have taken Adam away from his father when they
divorced because if she had done just that then Adam would have been a
completely different person and a father to them. She had cried her eyes out
when Harry let her meet Logan and Evan with Louis' permission finding out she
had been a great grandmother for almost five years spending time with them
until it was time for her to go back to Cheshire hugging them goodbye.
 
~*~
 
"I'm not yelling at you! I just don't understand why you want to go there
again. I don't get it and we're not going." Harry pulled on his hair trying to
change Louis' stubborn mind.
 
"Yes you are and I'm trying to get your son to fall asleep so shut up." Louis
snapped feeding an almost two week old Evan.
 
"The bags are already in the car and we're leaving now, I'm not going so just
forget about it." Harry said then left the room leaving Louis and Evan alone
since Logan was out with Gemma and her new boyfriend Ashton that they had just
met and Logan who had completely fallen in love with him had insisted on going
with her to see Ash.
 
"I'm not going so just forget about it." Louis mimicked rolling his eyes
annoyed with Harry then looked down at his son and couldn't help but smile, the
smile only getting bigger when Evan wrapped his hand around his pinky. "I'll
make daddy go, you'll see love."
 
They had been arguing all morning when Louis had asked Harry to go with him
back to their old school wanting to go one more time so they could finally let
go of their bad past before getting married knowing Harry still hadn't forgiven
himself. As soon as Evan was out he gently put him in his bassinet then left
leaving the baby monitor close to him and the door open taking the other one
with him. He left it with Anne after she had agreed to watch him already
knowing what Louis wanted to do.
 
He slowly walked outside hugging himself to try and stay warm making his way to
the car where Harry was cleaning it up putting the toys Logan thought she had
lost in one of her bags, his mind going back to the time where Harry had just
met her and how his car used to always be clean and nice when he saw him
throwing away all the trash, broken crayons she deemed useless, old drawings
and candy wrappers Logan had stuffed in the back pocket of the front seats
having claimed it as her personal trashcan.
 
"You should buy a small trashcan." Louis suggested putting a hand over his
stomach that was still nowhere back to being like it used to sometimes making
him feel insecure.
 
"Thank God it's cold outside. I found a half eaten chocolate bar and a chewed
up tootsie roll." Harry shook his head showing him the Hershey's chocolate bar.
 
"Oh that was mine." Louis said taking the chocolate bar laughing when Harry's
eyes widened and took it from him throwing it away.
 
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Harry apologized hugging Louis as soon as he had
gotten rid of the trash.
 
"Just do this for me Harry, please. School will be over in an hour and we could
go pick up the girls." Louis begged resting his head on his chest smiling when
Harry sighed.
 
"Just the school...nowhere else but the school." Harry kissed the top of his
head feeling him nodding.
 
******
 
They stayed in the car far longer than necessary staring at the building that
had a few renovations and was bigger until Louis unbuckled himself and got out
of the car waiting for Harry to do the same. They walked around not really
wanting to go inside since they had to have permission from the school and
instead sat down on a bench looking at the woods in front of them. Louis
burrowed deeper into Harry's arms trying to warm himself up relaxing when Harry
wrapped his jacket around him letting him rest his head against his chest then
felt his cheek resting on top of his head feeling warm and safe.
 
"You have to let it go Harry...just let it go." Louis mumbled against Harry's
chest feeling him fixing his gray beanie.
 
"I forgave him. I don't know if he wanted forgiveness but I did anyway...you
gave me another chance and forgave me so I figured why not, he was my dad after
all." Harry tightened his grip on Louis careful not to hurt him.
 
"I thought I lost you and I got a glance of what life is like without
you...when you died in front of me and I just couldn't take it. When I saw you
pass out with her still in your arms and you never let her go I regretted
keeping her away from you, I regretted never telling you I was pregnant but
back then I was too hurt...too damaged. After she was born I decided to keep
her from you because I thought you would hate her too...she was half me after
all and I thought that since you hated everything about me you would hate her
too. I just wanted to protect her." Louis spoke looking straight ahead.
 
"I never hated you and if I had known about her sooner I would have done the
same thing I did when I met her, I would have done anything to get both of you
back." Harry smiled a little kissing the top of Louis' head.
 
"And I didn't want to admit it back then but you have always been an amazing
father to her and now to Evan, I left her alone with you for a whole week and
by the end of it she was still in one piece...except when I found her covered
in flour and I'm sorry I yelled at you but do you know how hard it was for me
to get it out of her hair." Louis let out a small chuckle.
 
"I was scared, I was so afraid of messing up during that week...of messing up
every day of her life. She was always and still is running everywhere and
climbing everything, I was amazed and at the same time I was so scared that she
might break at any moment...I was scared that she might hate me one day." Harry
confessed allowing Louis to sit up and look at him.
 
"She will never hate you, you're her dad and she loves you to pieces...she
might love Gemma's boyfriend a bit more but...I'm kidding Harry." Louis laughed
seeing Harry pouting then kissed his cheek before pinching it.
 
"She loves us both...and her Bubbie." Harry agreed.
 
"Seriously Harry. I can see it and its in the past, you have to move on love."
 
"I can't Lou...maybe with time I'll be able to forgive myself but not now."
Harry sighed feeling sadness creeping up to him spotting the tree where Louis
had tried to hide from him that night hugging Louis close to him.
 
Later that day after picking up the girls they drove back to London almost
stopping once on the way there when Evan wouldn't stop crying and it only
seemed to get louder even for a two week old baby until Logan gave him his
pacifier and lightly patted his chest until he calmed down and fell asleep and
Harry announced they had a baby whisperer in the family. Since it was already a
Wednesday night Harry wanted Logan to just wait until the next Monday to go
back to school but Louis insisted that she had already missed way too many days
and she ended up going the next day.
 
~*~
 
*One month later*
 
"We ran out of diapers, watch him while I go buy more and please don't let
Logan eat anymore candy canes from the tree...I knew it was a bad idea, half
the decorations are gone now." Louis said handing over a now one month old baby
to Harry where he squirmed a bit before settling down in his arms just as Louis
kissed him then kissed Harry.
 
"Okay...be careful." Harry called after him.
 
It was already two days before Christmas and Harry had finally managed to
finish work on time as well as the pictures he had taken of Evan and Logan so
he could spend the week with his family alone after Louis decided to celebrate
it just the four of them being their first Christmas together and also the
first time celebrating his birthday with Harry again. They had gotten new
Christmas decorations and a tree for the house then had spent the whole day
decorating and by the end had taken a seat by the chimney in the great room
drinking hot chocolate and admiring their hard work. Two weeks before they had
already finished their Christmas shopping hiding the presents in the closets of
the guest bedrooms knowing Logan didn't go in there unless it was to chase
Buttercup all the way there and tickle him.
 
He walked around the kitchen trying to clean it up a bit while holding Evan
with one arm pausing to check on Logan in the keeping room where she was taking
a nap on the couch just as Evan started crying already hungry. He rushed back
to the kitchen slightly rocking him to keep him quiet as he prepared a bottle
groaning when his phone started ringing then noticed Logan waking up way too
soon and braced himself for a cranky Logan for the rest of the afternoon. He
let whoever was calling go to voicemail while he finished the bottle putting
Evan down in his bouncer on top of the counter to get things done faster then
picked Logan up when she started pulling on his shirt whining about being
sleepy.
 
"Bug I have to feed Bubbie." Harry said trying to put her back down but she
only tightened his grip around his neck and waist refusing to let go.
 
"I don't want to...you hold Bubbie all the time and I want you to hold me too."
Logan cried louder when Harry once again tried to put her down.
 
"I'll hold you and cuddle with you after I'm done feeding him...bug, he's
hungry and he has to eat." Harry rubbed her back then sighed when she didn't
budged.
 
He ended up on his side leaning against the kitchen island holding and feeding
Evan with Logan sitting on top of it still holding onto him until Louis got
home about to yell at him for not answering the phone seeing him with his arms
full of children. Christmas eve Louis woke up to Harry and Logan singing happy
birthday to him seeing him holding the baby and a chocolate cupcake with a
single candle with a huge 23 written on top of it in Logan's handwriting making
a wish before blowing it out with Logan's help then gladly took Evan so Harry
could take a picture of all four of them. After thanking everyone who had
called him to wish him a happy birthday he enjoyed a nice homemade dinner made
by Harry. Once both Logan and even were asleep in their bedrooms they stayed
behind sitting in the dining room table.
 
"Dinner was lovely and delicious." Louis smiled reaching for Harry's hand
across the table.
 
"The mashed potatoes were excellent, Logan did an amazing job mashing
them...didn't even asked for help." Harry smiled referring to the lumpy mashed
potatoes Logan had insisted on mashing herself with no help then guarded it not
letting Harry touch the bowl until it was time for dinner when she had proudly
announced she had cooked everything herself and her curly had helped but just a
bit.
 
"They were amazing...you should take some cooking lessons from her." Louis
joked laughing and leaning forward kissing Harry.
 
"I'm gonna have to, don't want you leaving me 'cause I can't cook." Harry tried
to keep himself from smiling and instead looked devastated.
 
"Never! We should go to bed, like now." Louis suggested raising his eyebrows.
 
"You tired already? Let me just check on the kids then we can go to bed." Harry
got up kissing Louis' forehead then jogged upstairs leaving Louis behind
shaking his head at how oblivious Harry was.
 
As soon as Harry stepped into their bedroom Louis closed and locked the door
quickly attaching his lips to Harry's trying to unbotton Harry's pants as they
stumbled backwards pushing Harry on the bed going down with him when Harry
pulled him down. Harry kissed back as eagerly as Louis did now understanding
the real reason why Louis had insisted on Evan sleeping in his own room when he
was always the one not wanting him out of his sight at all times much less have
him sleep in his own crib away from him.
 
Louis paused to take off Harry's button up then his pants making sure to pull
his boxes down letting his eyes roam over his body then with shaky hands took
off his pants feeling insecure about his body. Harry sat up and pulled Louis
down on top of him taking his sweater off then placed his hands on Louis' hips
kissing him feeling himself hardening against Louis' thigh not surprised
because Louis drove him crazy. He carefully flipped Louis around on his back
where Louis wrapped his legs around his waist biting on his bottom lip when
Harry began grinding on him.
 
"Lube...g- get the lube." Louis stuttered trying to move from underneath Harry
to reach for the lube and a condom under the pillow where he had put them
earlier.
 
"Not yet." Harry said grabbing Louis' hands trapping them on his own over his
head speeding up his movements.
 
"Harry- fuck, I- I need...Harry please. I'm not gonna last." Louis tried to
free his hands not wanting to cum too soon then smirked when Harry let go
surprising him when he wrapped his hand around his cock.
 
"Louis...w- wait, oh my god." Harry gasped out trying to get him to let go as
he moved his hand up and down.
 
"What was that? I can't hear you." Louis innocently smiled letting go then
continued kissing him and pulling on his hair as if nothing had happened.
 
Louis felt around for the lube and the condom given them to Harry and moments
later felt one of Harry's fingers entering him as he shut his eyes trying to
get used to it again.
 
"You okay?" Harry asked.
 
"Yeah...s'just being a while." Louis mumbled taking a deep breath then motioned
for Harry to add another.
 
Harry added a second finger stretching him open kissing up and down Louis' neck
then down to his chest trying to distract him hearing him moaning when he
wrapped his lips around one of his still sensitive nipples rolling his tongue
around it feeling Louis' fingernails dragging across the skin on his back. To
Louis' request he added a third one taking his time not wanting to hurt him and
when he was ready he put on the condom making sure it was on correctly then
lubed himself up lifting one of Louis' legs over his shoulder. He slowly
entered him letting him get used to him until he was pressed up against him
leaving tiny kisses all over his face then pulled out halfway pushing back in
setting up a slow pace.
 
"I m- missed this...yeah right there." Louis moaned against Harry's neck, arms
wrapped around his torso while Harry sucked tiny red marks all over his chest
and neck thrusting in and out of him.
 
"Like this, yeah?" Harry panted against Louis' neck going deeper then rolled
his hips in circles knowing he had hit the right spot when Louis let out a loud
moan digging his fingernails on his back cumming hard when Harry wrapped his
hand around his cock moving it up and down in sync with his thrusts. He felt
Harry shiver once before letting go releasing into the condom letting him rest
his full weight on top of him pulling out a few seconds later to get rid of it
and clean themselves up.
 
"Are you okay?" Harry asked as he cleaned him up smiling when Louis sleepily
nodded opening his arms for him to lay in.
 
He rested his head on Louis' chest hearing his heartbeats still slowing down
enjoying the silence around them until they heard Evan crying through the
monitor and Louis tightened his grip around Harry when he tried to get up
telling him it wasn't time to feed him yet. Harry only nodded nuzzling his face
on Louis' chest starting to fall asleep until they heard something breaking
them Evan's cries abruptly stopping making Harry jump off the bed quickly
putting on boxers not caring whose rushing out of the room to the stairs with
Louis following behind.
 
They were nearly panicking until they got there letting out a relieved breath
when they saw Logan still half asleep standing up on her stool she used to
reach the sink in the bathroom now using it to reach down holding the pacifier
on Evan's mouth and one of her fingers from her other hand trapped in his tiny
fist. They looked at the broken lamp on the floor that used to be on a nigh
table next to the rocking chair figuring out she must've dropped it looking for
the pacifier.
 
While Harry picked it up making sure to not leave any pieces behind Louis
walked up to them grabbing Logan kissing the side of her head when she wrapped
her arms around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder falling back
asleep. He put her back in her bed pulling the covers over her then kissed her
forehead going back to Evan's room through the bathroom they shared picking him
up then walked back to his and Harry's bedroom putting him down in his
bassinet. Minutes later Harry walked in holding a sleepy Logan explaining that
she wanted to sleep with them and after Louis changed the bed sheets and took
turns showering they went to bed already exhausted.
 
The following morning Harry was woken up by Evan's loud cries then whimpers
when he picked him up to change him and make him a bottle not wanting to leave
him there to keep him from waking up Louis and Logan who were cuddling together
in their own little space on the bed wrapped in a blanket like burritos.
 
"Let's get you out of those pajamas." Harry cooed kissing his fist.
 
He grabbed the necessary items and brand new clothes to change him into before
he gently lay him down on the changing table kissing his forehead taking off
his pull up pants then unbottoned the bodysuit. He lifted the sticky tabs on
the diaper forgetting about the one thing his mum had told him to always do but
by the time he remembered Evan who wasn't done yet peed all over his hand and
t-shirt. He quickly put the diaper back in place waiting for him to be done
then wiped his hand with a wipe not really caring that he had pee all over his
shirt when he couldn't help but love his tiny son seeing him stretching his
arms out and yawning before putting his thumb in his mouth. When he was done he
put him in his crib while he washed his hands and took his shirt off picking
him up again to feed him and when he had a bottle ready he walked back to their
bedroom sitting down against the headboard on his side of the bed next Louis
that somehow had ended up in the middle of the bed.
 
"Morning babe...morning sweety." Louis groggily mumbled, eyes still closed
pulling Logan away from the edge.
 
"Morning...It's Christmas, I'm surprised she's still asleep." Harry said
smiling down at her then the baby holding the sides of the bottle with his tiny
hands.
 
"She rather sleep, but wait till she wakes up...she'll be running everywhere."
Louis smiled kissing the bottom of Evan's feet chuckling when he moved them
away kicking a few times.
 
Like Louis had predicted Logan woke up running straight to the presents
underneath the Christmas tree waiting for Louis and Harry to get there and as
soon as they got there she started opening her presents cheering every time she
opened one then after she was done she handed Louis and Harry a few drawings
she had done while in the privacy of her bedroom hiding them every time one of
them would walk in wanting to keep them a surprise. While looking at them Louis
started noticing she had a talent for drawing like him but her drawings were a
bit off and disturbing yet that hadn't stopped Harry from going crazy buying
her all kinds of art supplies then also buying for Louis too when he started
freaking and painting again full time like he used to.
 
"I'm setting up the timer...go put on a shirt. What happened to your old one?"
Louis asked trying to set up a timer on Harry's camera for their first ever
Christmas picture together holding Evan with one arm while Logan patiently
waited on her spot.
 
"Oh, umm...Evan peed all over it and my hand when I changed him this morning."
Harry half shrugged walking to their bedroom still hearing Louis' loud laugh
telling him Zayn would love to hear that as he smiled loving his laugh.
 
He put on a new shirt and walked back to the great room where Louis, Logan, and
Evan were already on their spots next to the tree then started the timer
quickly running to them picking Logan up and setting her on his lap wrapping an
arm around her and the other around Louis' waist, all three of them smiling at
the camera.
 
December quickly passed by and they welcomed a new year back in Doncaster with
their families with Harry and Louis kissing just when the clock struck midnight
promising each other to welcome many more together whispering I love you's.
 
When they were back in London Harry went back to work, Logan to school and
Louis busied himself with helping Niall and Zayn with the last few things of
the wedding laughing with Zayn when he told him Evan had peed all over Harry
then when Niall would yell at Zayn for spending more time holding Evan and
playing with Logan instead of helping them. Now that the wedding was two weeks
away Niall was a nervous mess and all Louis and Eleanor could do was try and
calm him down but when the wedding was staring him right in the face not even a
high power could calm him down that morning.
 
That special day they walked together to the altar holding hands having
insisted on walking there together as one and leaving the same but married
ready to start a new phase of their lives. Louis and Greg stood next to Zayn
and Niall as Louis glanced at Harry holding or trying to hold a two month old
wiggly Evan who had three of his fingers in his mouth and always had to be
facing the front or else he would squirm until he got his way. He spotted Gemma
and Ashton next to him and Logan who refused to put her flower basket down on
the floor and instead had it on her lap giggling when Ashton would tickle her.
 
Niall was in the middle of repeating the vows when Evan let out a loud noise
then laughed when Logan shushed him telling him he had to be quiet because
uncle Niall and Zayn were getting married. As soon as they were done all they
could see was each other repeating and promising to always love each other and
when both said I do and were told they could kiss Niall gave Louis a nod
raising his eyebrow smiling before he kissed Zayn with all his might hearing
the loud cheers and clapping pulling away to look at the guests. They walked
down the isle hand in hand and once they were outside the church they were
attacked with hugs and congratulations loving the ones from Logan when Zayn
picked her up after she attached herself to his and Niall's legs.
 
The reception was everything Niall and Zayn had ever wanted in an elegant and
relaxed country house hotel loving the stunning white chandeliers and decor.
Once they made their grand entrance and were presented as Mr. and Mr. Malik,
Zayn thanked everyone for accompanying them in such a special day for them then
after he was done dinner was served. After dinner and when the cake had been
cut Louis found himself standing on stage where the dj was in front of the
guests ready to make a toast for the happy newlyweds looking back at him
wearing the biggest smiles on their faces.
 
"I'd like to make a toast." Louis announced getting everyone's attention and
after introducing himself he took a deep breath and began speaking.
 
"I've known Zayn since we were six years old when he moved to Doncaster from
Bradford and we immediately became friends after trading our lunches when he
said he wanted my sandwich and I just gave it to him. A few years later when we
were ten we met Niall when he moved there from Ireland and the two of them
instantly became best friends. They've been dating since they were fourteen and
that's a very long time. I knew they were the one for each other the moment I
saw them walking through my bedroom door holding hands and announcing they were
dating...I knew just by looking at the way they looked and still look at each
other as if nothing else matters and to me...to me that's true love right
there. You both are the best of friends, the best brothers I could ever ask for
and I wish you the best, I wish you a lifetime of happiness together. Let us
toast to the happiness of Zayn and Niall. To Zayn and Niall!" Louis cheerfully
said tipping the glass towards Zayn and Niall.
 
He held hands with Harry listening to Greg then Zayn and Niall's father's
followed by their mothers then sisters give their first toasts and when it was
Zayn's turn everyone went silent waiting to hear what Zayn had to say noticing
he only had eyes for his husband.
 
"I officially met Niall when I accidentally spilled soda all over him during
lunch and then I made a fool of myself trying to clean it up using my shirt and
I thought he would be angry until I heard him laughing and telling me I had
chocolate pudding all over my chin...then later that day I thought how a boy
with the prettiest blue eyes like him could ever be angry. We became friends
after that and I don't know how it happened but out of nowhere he was all I
could think about, all I could talk about. Niall...I love your smile, your
sense of humor, I love when you cuss in the mornings because you don't want to
get up and would rather stay in bed. I love your laugh, how it makes me laugh
even if I'm not in the mood and I love you. I love you blondie." Zayn finished
his speech, both of them with teary eyes kissing when Zayn sat down and Niall
got up to say a few words.
 
"I love you more babe." Niall said making everyone coo at him and Zayn. "When
we were just starting I have to admit I was a little scared of falling too hard
for him...I mean look at him. I was scared of getting hurt, I was scared of
love for some weird reason but he showed me there was really nothing to be
afraid of...and I fell in love with him. You are my friend, my husband and I
love your selfless and protective personality...always putting first those you
care about and making the time to be there for me. I'm so blessed to have found
you and know that I love you and I will always love you. I'm the happiest and
luckiest man out there, I love you so much." Niall smiled at Zayn as he mouthed
an I love you to him.
 
Both of them walked to the dance floor hand in hand for their very first dance
as husband and husband then when welcome distraction started playing and they
started dancing it felt as if they were the only ones there looking into each
other's eyes then Niall rested his head on Zayn's chest and Zayn on top of his
head wrapping his arms around him.
 
By the time Maura and Trisha had danced with them and everyone started dancing,
Louis was surprised when Harry asked him to dance leaving Evan and Logan with
his sisters who were also watching Alex already so in love with him finding him
adorable while Brian and David danced. Louis tried not to smile biting on his
bottom lip feeling overwhelmed at the thought that one day it will be them
dancing their first dance as a married couple and that day it would be the day
that no one would be able to separate them and he will be happy with the love
of his life and their children.
 
When the song ended they went back to their table taking all three kids to let
the girls have fun and dance. Louis couldn't help but laugh a little when Logan
asked Harry to dance with her like Liam had asked Eleanor then smiled in
adoration when Harry eagerly nodded like a small child and pulled her towards
the dance floor picking her up where she quickly wrapped her arms around his
neck. He watched them dance not wanting to think that one day he'll be dancing
with her on her wedding day and she'll be all grown up.
 
He noticed Zayn talking to Colton the new photographer who worked with Harry
pointing at him and Logan then walked closer to take pictures of a father-
daughter moment. He then looked down when Evan kicked in his sleep then pouted
his bottom lip pulling him closer to his chest knowing he was familiar with his
heartbeats and it calmed him down like it calmed Logan down too.
 
He smiled at Anne when she took a seat next to him seeing the way her eyes
shined with happiness when she looked at her son and granddaughter dancing
together and making silly faces at each other then smiled when Logan burst out
laughing and Harry quickly put a hand on her back to keep her from falling when
she threw her head backwards then cupped the back of her head hiding her face
on the crook of his neck as he laughed kissing the side of her head.
 
He wrapped his free arm around her resting his head on his shoulder until the
song was over and Logan came back with Harry following after her jumping into
Anne's warm hold staying there while Harry took a seat next to Louis lifting
the blanket to peek in seeing Evan sleep with his thumb in his mouth sucking
once in a while then put it back down wrapping his arm around Louis.
 
By the time the reception was over and both kids asleep after Logan had danced
with Louis and almost everyone else, Zayn and Niall left for their honeymoon in
Paris. Louis and Eleanor hugged them telling them to have fun and after they
said their goodbyes to Logan and Evan they got in the car ready to start a new
life, just like he knew he was ready.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_mxc146GZmX1rurxvqo2_250_zpsd7ff684e.gif]
      
      
     Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mxc146GZmX1rurxvqo2_250_zpsd7ff684e.gif
     Thoughts? :)
***** And he loves me so, we're two in a row *****
Chapter Notes
     I am so sorry this is so late! It's all over the place and wedding
     planning is not my thing cause I know nothing about it but I tried,
     hopefully I didn't messed up. Hope you like the chapter. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
A week after Niall and Zayn's wedding Louis announced the wedding would be July
18 giving them only six months to organize everything and a few days later
Louis already had a binder filled with a checklist and everything else he would
need, Harry couldn't help but feel better knowing Louis had it all under
control. They had picked Liam and Zayn as their best men, Logan as the flower
girl and had asked David and Brian if Alex could be the ring bearer thanking
them a million times when they said yes smiling when both kids cheered jumping
up and down holding hands managing to wake up Evan who was fussy for the rest
of the afternoon.
 
By the time January was almost over Louis had the guest list ready and reserved
the venue making sure to get the best one in London. On Harry's 23rd birthday
Louis organized a surprise party with family and friends with the help of Liam,
Niall, Zayn and Brian who managed to keep him out of the house half the day
while the rest helped Louis organize everything. He would never forget Harry's
surprised face when he walked through the door hearing everyone wishing him a
happy birthday and watching Logan hugging his waist before he picked her up.
To Harry it had been the best birthday spending it with loved ones and after
their friends left and the rest of the family was asleep he and Louis stayed up
late talking and laughing uncontrollably at the other's stupid jokes and funny
memories to the point where their stomachs were hurting until Louis started
getting drowsy falling asleep in the middle of a conversation about who was the
best superhero. As soon as Harry had noticed he was asleep he observed him for
a bit then wrapped his arms around him bringing him closer to him kissing his
forehead falling asleep with a smile on his face.
 
Logan's fifth birthday both Louis and Harry threw a party in their own house
inviting her whole class even Tabitha who seemed fond of Logan and was now
actually nice leaving them surprised but glad that her parents had done
something about her attitude. Everything was going great until she made a wish
then shamelessly told Louis and Harry she had wished for a new baby sister
because there were too many boys in the house and they needed another girl.
Their close friends and family had burst out laughing while Zayn high fived her
telling them to get to it because that's what his cupcake had wished for
getting smacked in the back of the head by Louis who playfully glared at him.
 
That night Harry took Louis out for a romantic dinner leaving the kids under
the care of their mums and sisters who insisted and loved spoiling them. Louis'
eyes widened when he saw the dinner table in the middle of the restaurant
reminding him of their first ever date in that restaurant in Hawaii where he
had opened up to him again. Louis didn't know what he had had for dinner when
all he could see and hear was Harry until he was left alone when Harry got up
to the bathroom. He was about to get up and look for him when all the lights
around the restaurant deemed even more leaving them in darkness except for the
ones of the stage where the band was playing. He furrowed his brow in confusion
when he saw Harry standing there with a microphone in front of him.
 
"I'm really shy when it comes to singing in public but...for him I'll do
anything. This is for you Lou, I love you." Harry smiled looking straight at
Louis who teared up when the song started playing recognizing and knowing how
Harry hated singing in front of others but there he was...doing it all for him.
 
"You touched these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in work of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart
I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours
You healed these scars over time
Embraced my soul
You loved my mind
You're the only angel in my life
I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the words as such
And though I may not look like much
I'm yours
And though my edges may be rough
I never feel I'm quite enough
It may not seem like very much
But I'm yours
I may not have the softest touch
I may not say the word as such
I know I don't fit in that much
But I'm yours."
 
By the time the song was over Louis' eyes were flooded with tears and he could
see some of the other people with teary eyes and happy smiles looking at him
and Harry. Louis never understood why Harry never liked singing in public when
his voice, deep and husky, was the best thing he had ever come across during
one of their sleepovers while he had been showering and he had been waiting
sitting on the bed when they were fourteen. As soon as Harry was almost at
their table Louis got up to hug him and kiss him feeling one of Harry's arms
around his waist and his other hand caressing his cheek hearing clapping and
cooing.
 
"I love you so much." Louis whispered against Harry's lips resting his forehead
against Harry's.
 
"I love you too...so so much." Harry smiled sitting down next to Louis.
 
"That was beautiful, thank you." Louis said as he held hands with Harry.
 
"Anything for you Lou." Harry said kissing Louis' knuckles.
 
After dinner Harry drove to a small cottage on the outside of London away from
the bright lights and noise wanting to surprise Louis who didn't even asked
where they were heading because he trusted Harry with his own life. When Harry
opened the door and let him in Louis' eyes widened taking in the trail of rose
petals from the front door to what he assumed was the bedroom then grabbed
Harry's hand pulling him there where he kissed him not even bothering to close
the door.
 
Harry had intended for it to be slow and passionate but that idea was thrown
out the window when he found himself beneath Louis as he shamelessly rode his
face holding onto the headboard while Louis wondered why they hadn't done that
before deciding nothing could top that. He changed his mind when he was on his
hands and knees a moaning mess while Harry fingered him, he buried his face on
the pillow when Harry licked a long stripe from the back of his balls all the
way to his entrance. He wanted to shout Harry's name but instead let out a
series of broken sounds when Harry shoved his tongue inside of him along his
three fingers until he was on the verge of cumming making him stop not wanting
to do it just yet.
 
As soon as Harry was on his back and ready Louis straddled him holding himself
up on his knees then grabbed Harry's cock positioning himself feeling the tip
nudging at his entrance. He slowly lowered himself on him leaning down to kiss
him pulling back up then pushing back down again repeating it a few times until
Harry grabbed his hips to keep him from moving bucking up his own easily
sliding in and out. He let Louis do as he pleased trying not to flip him on his
back and fuck him into the mattress every time Louis would move his hips back
and forth then in figure eights until he got tired and stopped letting Harry do
all the work.
 
"Fuck you're so big." Louis said trying to stay still and not move back and
forth moaning when Harry moved faster.
 
"You're gonna cum, for me?" Harry kept thrusting into him hearing him chanting
'yes' tightening his grip on his biceps when he grabbed his erection pumping in
sync with his thrusts.
 
Harry brushed the hair out of Louis' sweaty forehead where it was clinging to
it and when Louis opened his eyes and looked right into his own he couldn't
hold it anymore and spilled into the condom running his hands up and down
Louis' back kneading his bum helping him move up and down while Louis had a
hand around his member pumping until he came all over Harry when he hit his
spot dead on.
 
"Oh my God..." Louis took a deep breath hovering over Harry leaning down to
kiss him.
 
"Love you." Harry mumbled in between kisses.
 
"I love you too." Louis smiled kissing him one more time before getting off of
him laying down next to him.
 
Harry got up to the bathroom coming back with a damp flannel cleaning Louis
after he had cleaned himself in the bathroom then laid down next to Louis
wrapping his arms around him bringing him close to him where he kissed his
shoulder never wanting to let go. The next morning Louis woke up to the smell
of pancakes just as Harry walked in with a tray full of them shyly smiling and
blushing when he saw they were shaped in hearts.
 
"Last night was lovely...both parts." Louis grabbed one of Harry's hands while
Harry fed him a piece of his pancakes even though he had his own plate.
 
"I'm glad you did." Harry smiled leaning to kiss him.
 
"This cottage is lovely, wish I could stay here forever." Louis commented
looking around.
 
"It is...sadly I only rented it for one night and we have to leave in a few
hours." Harry sadly sighed chuckling when Louis playfully rolled his eyes.
 
"They're gonna get stuck like that one of these days." Harry laughed pushing
Louis backwards on the bed where he instinctively wrapped his legs around his
waist giggling while Harry peppered his face with kisses..
 
A few hours later they were back home walking in through the garage door and as
soon as they walked into the kitchen where Gemma was alone with both kids
feeding Evan while Logan was eating fruit with her fingers, she got up and ran
to Louis and Harry wanting to be picked up. Louis picked her up kissing her
temple as she kissed his back telling them how much she and Bubbie had missed
them wanting to know where had they been while Gemma had a smug look on her
face giving all her attention to Evan who was looking right back at her in
wonder only blinking a few times.
 
"We were out love, go finish your fruit." Louis said trying to put her down
stopping just so she could give Harry a kiss then ran back to her seat as soon
as her feet touched the ground.
 
"Thanks for watching them Gems. Where's everybody else?" Harry asked going to
stand next to her kissing the top of her head before bending down to kiss Evan.
 
"They're out with the girls." Gemma answered.
 
"Hey buddy, I missed you." Harry cooed grabbing his hand just as he finished
eating and Gemma pulled the bottle away chuckling when the baby followed it
with his tiny hands.
 
"Aren't you a hungry little boy, aren't ya?" Louis cooed bending down next to
Harry.
 
They were still praising their tiny son when he focused his eyes on both of
their faces then the tiniest of smiles began to form on his lips making a soft
cooing sound before he full on smiled kicking his legs and swaying his arms in
excitement.
 
"Oh my gosh he's smiling! Louis look he's smiling." Harry nearly shouted
excitedly while Louis smiled and nodded taking him in his arms.
 
"Auntie Gemma, are we gonna go to the park?" Logan asked wiping her hands on
the napkin she gave her before she was allowed to grab Evan's hands and kiss
the tiny knuckles.
 
"Of course we are princess but first let me go change my clothes." Gemma smiled
getting up to the bedroom she was staying in.
 
"Here, I'm gonna go get her a change of clothes appropriate for the weather."
Louis said passing Evan to Harry.
 
Not long after Louis had left Evan began squirming in Harry's arms as he walked
to his bedroom holding Logan's hand letting go when the baby started crying
nuzzling his face on Harry's neck. He took a seat on the bed grabbing a burping
cloth positioning Evan on his lap making sure to hold him right like Louis had
taught him smiling when Logan took a seat next to him.
 
"I'll help you daddy." Logan said patting his back along with Harry.
 
They were still patting his back when Logan got closer to him and continued
until Evan burped then spit up all over Harry's sweater just as he leaned
against it making a mess and Logan pull her hand away in disgust while Harry
just watched.
 
"Eww." Logan scrunched up her nose in disgust quickly scrambling off the bed
then ran out of the room leaving Harry alone.
 
"Bug comeback, you said you were gonna help me..." Harry trailed off once she
was out of the room focusing on a now happy Evan then grabbed the cloth to
clean him up then himself giving up when he realized his sweater was completely
ruined.
 
"You think puking all over daddy is funny, huh?" Harry kissed his cheek when he
smiled putting him down on the bed to take his sweater off then picked him up
again going upstairs to change his clothes.
 
The following weeks Louis spent his days looking for the entertainment hiring
the same DJ from Zayn and Niall's wedding after they recommended him not
bothering about a photographer since Harry already had that covered. After
talking and agreeing where the ceremony would take place they walked hand in
hand through the same church where Harry had taken Logan's pictures a year ago
having left the kids under the care of Anna who was more than happy to look
after Logan and Evan.
 
"Harry! Haven't seen you in a while boy. How have you been?" Reverend Smith
walked up to them hugging Harry.
 
"Good. How are you?" Harry smiled.
 
"I've been doing great."
 
"This is my fiance Louis, Louis this is reverend Smith. You've met him before
when we came here for Logan's pictures." Harry introduced them once again.
 
"Hi, nice to see you again." Louis shook his hand feeling comfortable around
him.
 
"You too. So what can I help you with?" Reverend Smith asked eyeing both boys
with a warm smile.
 
"Louis and I are getting married and we would love to do it here and for you to
officiate it, it would mean a lot to us." Harry said knowing he would when he
smiled.
 
They walked out of there after arranging everything for the wedding going back
home to spend time together and while Harry attempted to teach Logan how to
play football Louis settled down on the playroom laying down next to Evan for
his tummy time already done researching florists and caterers having booked an
appointment with the caterers.
 
"It's so hard to organize a wedding you know, but it'll be worth it cause I get
to marry your daddy." Louis kissed his cheek then rattled one of the plush baby
rattles in the shape of a sheep he had gotten from Gemma.
 
Evan tried to lift his head up and follow the sound until he started getting
fuzzy and Louis picked him up getting startled when the ball hit the window
glad it didn't break then Harry opened the door saying a quick sorry before
going back outside with the ball in his hands to pass it to Logan. Not wanting
to go outside Louis sat down on the couch putting Evan against his chest
resting his head against it watching Harry standing in front of what was
supposed to be their goal post smiling when she kicked the ball scoring a goal
when Harry purposely missed throwing himself to the side landing on his side
then rolled on his back.
 
He hugged Logan rolling around on the grass when she cheerfully threw herself
at him wanting to be congratulated them got up with her putting her up over his
shoulders running around in circles while Buttercup chased after them too
excited for his own good. When they got tired they walked back inside and after
showering they watched Frozen drinking hot chocolate enjoying their perfect
evening.
 
~*~
 
After discussing it through they decided on a beach themed wedding because it
reminded them when they had started over in Hawaii and now they were the
happiest family. Louis had already picked a light blue and white color scheme.
Four months before the wedding Louis was a mess trying to do everything at once
including keeping up with doctor appointments for the kids when Harry started
working again full time leaving him alone having no choice but to take them
with him to run errands when Anna couldn't babysit. Thankfully he had already
selected and purchased the invitations and Harry was in the middle of planning
their honeymoon to the Bahamas after Anne and Jay offered to take care of Logan
and Evan when they were gone.
 
"Are you ready?" Louis asked Harry for the second time that morning already
knowing they were going to be late.
 
They were in the middle of April and with the wedding being the months away
Louis just wanted to book the bloody florist and select and order the cake to
get it over with. He had left Evan in his car seat next to Logan in the great
room while he went and got Harry, he was still waiting for him to be done
brushing his teeth when he heard Logan's ear piercing screams calling for them.
He rushed back to her followed by Harry where he found her next to her brother
crying and trying to make him let go of her hair only making him more excited
moving his hand around pulling harder. He quickly bent down and pried the hair
out of his hand making him squirm a bit settling down when Louis gave him his
pacifier grinning through it kicking his legs. When he was done he gave all his
attention to Logan hugging her tight and rubbing on the sore spot on her scalp
deciding that her waist length hair had to go not caring if Gemma and Eleanor
wanted him to keep it long until after the wedding.
 
"You're okay love, don't cry." Louis kissed the top of her head while she
hicupped hiding her face in the crook of his neck.
 
"It's alright lovebug, just don't get too close to him if your hair is not
pulled back." Harry gently said kissing the back of her head.
 
"I just wanted to kiss him daddies." Logan burst out crying again.
 
Louis pulled away kissing her forehead and giving Harry one of the hair ties he
always had around his wrist in case she needed one then unstrapped Evan out of
his car seat earning high pitched squeals of delight out of him. He waited
until Harry was done putting her hair up in a high ponytail having mastered it
not long ago then set Evan down in her arms where she quickly wrapped them
around him giving him a kiss on the forehead making her smile when he snuggled
up against her nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck.
 
"He wants you to know he loves you and he's very sorry he pulled your hair, he
didn't mean it love." Louis said taking him again when she gave him back.
 
He strapped Evan back in his car seat then picked it up heading to the car
followed by Harry and Logan arriving just in time for their meeting with the
florist. They ended up picking Blue hydrangeas, vendela roses, white Hawaiian
dendrobium orchids, lisianthus and queen Anne's lace designed in a glass
cylinder accessorised with seashells and shell garland for the centerpieces and
for the church. Louis left the place happy with their choice and an excited
Logan knowing they were heading to the place where she could eat lots of cake.
 
As soon as they walked in for the cake tasting they were greeted by Ashley, one
of the vendors who Louis immediately took a liking to and led them to the area
while Harry had Logan in his arms not wanting her to accidentally break
something while Evan was in his stroller Harry just loved to push around
completely passed out after the long day. They were left alone to taste and
hopefully pick the perfect one but whenever Louis liked one Harry hated it and
so on while Logan who was given a tiny bit of each liked all of them telling
them to just buy them all.
 
"I don't like the taste at all." Louis argued making a face while Harry sighed.
 
"What's wrong with this one?" Harry asked trying to be patient.
 
"I don't like it and I don't want to have a banana flavored cake at our
wedding." Louis said almost offended just as Evan woke up crying and needing an
urgent diaper change.
 
"I'll change him, you keep tasting." Harry said taking the stroller and Logan
with him.
 
He walked into a family bathroom quickly getting to work groaning when he
figured out he was completely soiled seeing Logan standing far away from them.
He tried to hurry while Evan's cries only seemed to get louder and louder the
longer he took until Logan covered her nose with her shirt and walked up to
them trying to calm him down like she always did.
 
"No crying...that's daddy curly you silly Bubbie, he's not gonna hurt you."
Logan cooed grabbing his hand to distract him while Harry tried to hurry up.
 
******
 
"Everything going alright." Louis heard a male voice asking as he waited for
Harry to comeback tasting a carrot cake.
 
"Yeah, completely fine." Louis turned around seeing a tall dark haired and blue
eyed man standing in front of him eyeing him from head to toe then gave him a
lopsided smile which he immediately compared to Harry's already knowing no
smile could ever compare to his Harry's smile.
 
"My name's Tanner. Are you a wedding planner?" Tanner asked extending his hand
to shake Louis'.
 
"I'm Louis and no, I am not a wedding planner." Louis smiled wondering what was
taking Harry so long.
 
"Oh I'm sorry, you look pretty young and you're alone so I just assumed. I
apologize." Tanner chuckled.
 
"Don't worry and I am not alone, I'm here with my fiance and he'll be right
back." Louis said looking at the samples he still had yet to taste.
 
"Anything I can help you with? Do you have any questions?" Tanner asked.
 
"Not right now...we're still tasting and I think we're gonna take a bit
longer." Louis smiled crossing out the banana and carrot cake out of the list
Ashley had given them earlier noticing Tanner getting a bit closer.
 
Before Harry showed up in his life again Louis had always been the type to get
nervous whenever a man would get too close to him without his consent or him
not knowing at least their names. Whenever he was out with Logan he would
always hold her tighter in her carrier against his chest with keys in hand
between his fingers ready to gouge out anyone's eyes who dared hurt him or his
daughter. Now that Harry was back and he had been able to move on and forgive
him he almost found it normal again as long as they weren't too close to him.
 
"In my opinion red velvet is the best one." Tanner said standing right next
Louis.
 
"It's good but I'm not a big fan of it." Louis shrugged eyeing the vanilla cake
with tropical fruit fillings walking up to it.
 
"Just let me know if you need anything." Tanner smiled.
 
"Will do." Louis said then smiled when he saw Harry holding Evan and Logan
pushing the stroller.
 
"Hey love, did you find the one?" Harry asked holding the pacifier on Evan's
mouth to keep him from dropping it since the clip was nowhere to be found yet
he couldn't help but glare at Tanner seeing how close he was to Louis.
 
"I think I did, I really like this vanilla cake with tropical fruit fillings."
Louis smiled so bright he could put the sun, moon and stars to shame.
 
"Perfect." Harry smiled walking up to him giving him a kiss pulling away when
Evan wiggled around in his arms wanting to go to Louis.
 
They decided on a blue and white five-tier cake heading home after placing the
order until Louis changed his mind wanting to meet the caterer to make sure
everything was going as planned. Logan was annoyed and ready to drop down
anywhere and sleep when instead of going home they went somewhere else.
 
"Daddy I want to go home." She pulled on Louis' sweater as he went over the
menu not even paying attention to her.
 
He made a face at the coconut shrimp they were serving for the appetizer
changing it to fresh tropical fruit already happy with the tropical punch
blends and flavored rums and vodkas for the drinks. He nodded to himself liking
the salad and the soutéed vegetables for the side dish frowning when Logan
tasted them and pushed the plates away in disgust. He could have laughed loving
the fact that she and Harry made the same face whenever they didn't like
something and would give to him whatever they were eating expecting him to get
rid of it. He was happy to know she liked the lemon braised chicken and the
chocolate covered strawberries having to take them away from her to keep her
from eating too much.
 
When they got home Louis gave Evan a bath wishing he wouldn't cry as much as he
did every time he so much touched water, now that he had a firm grasp he would
cling to Louis or Harry making it harder for them to keep him still. Now that
he was sleeping through the night and in his own room Louis and Harry had more
time for themselves unless Logan insisted on sleeping with them afraid of the
dark or imaginary monsters. Two months before the wedding Liam was put in
charge of going with Harry for a tux fitting rolling his eyes every time Harry
rolled his eyes not liking the black ones when he and Louis had decided on a
gray one while Louis was driving Zayn crazy.
 
"It has to be gray and this one makes me look fat...I mean...look at my ass, I
need to lose more weight." Louis complained for the third time.
 
"Your ass looks great and no you don't, you look great." Zayn said wondering
what the hell was Louis going on about.
 
"I'm gonna die, the wedding's two months away and I still haven't send out the
invitations...and I need to buy a dress for Logan and a tux for Evan...and cut
Logan's hair." Louis heavily sighed.
 
"But you have everything else ready, you could get married right now. And I
wouldn't recommend you cutting her hair...just a trim." Zayn said checking the
time on his phone.
 
In the end Louis settled on a gray two button tux, satin edge peak lapel and
Harry on an almost similar one of the same color. A few days later they had the
rings ready engraved with an elegant H & L on the inside. That day they visited
David and Brian for Logan's play date with Alex and watched with a smile on
their faces while Brian explained to Alex what an important job he would have
the day of the wedding as the little boy nodded excitedly listening to his
father's every words.
 
The day of the fitting for Logan's dress was a total nightmare when she refused
to wear thighs and when she tried to walk on the ball gown and floor length
dress Louis wanted her to wear she ended up tripping and crying in
embarrassment not wanting to wear it anymore. In the end she had picked a tea-
length and sleeveless white dress with a floral lace overlay and illusion
neckline along with a light blue flower at the waist telling him that's the one
she wanted. Choosing a tux for Evan was hard since he outgrew clothes fast and
Louis just couldn't pick the one from the many cute baby tuxedos until Harry
picked a white one that Louis just loved.
 
It happened one night when Logan was watching a movie and both Harry and Louis
were done sending out invitations, Louis had Evan on his lap as the baby
entertained himself by playing with his own feet gurgling, imitating whatever
sound he heard and blowing bubbles forcing Louis to wipe his mouth pretty often
to keep him from drooling too much. Louis had been worried that his six month
old still hadn't laughed when they usually did at an earlier age yet the
pediatrician had said it was completely normal for him to be a little behind on
some things. He was still waiting to hear him laugh until that night when Harry
being Harry dropped his phone on the floor groaning when he had to pick it up
managing to spill his drink when Evan laughed for the first time. They had
cheered and praised their baby boy looking into his blue eyes that Harry had
been right when he said they would stay that color.
 
A month before the wedding they had gotten their marriage license getting
several copies after Louis had decided to change his last name to Styles after
thinking it through for a whole month when Harry had asked if he was keeping
his last name. Harry of course was over the moon when Louis had told him about
it while the rest teased Louis about going from Louis Tomlinson to Louis Styles
telling him he sounded very posh.
 
~*~
 
"I mean...what the hell was that?" Harry yelled at Louis walking into the house
followed by a very annoyed and angry Louis.
 
"He was just being nice unlike you, you were a total ass hole to him." Louis
crossed his arms over his chest walking past Harry to the kitchen.
 
"Such a shame I won't get to see you in your tux, bet you're gonna look even
more handsome than you already are, wish I had someone like you." Harry
mimicked Tanner following Louis.
 
"I seriously hate it when you get like this, you act like a caveman and like
I'm your possession...a damn object instead of a human being, your fiance and
the father of your children." Louis glared checking the time to go and pick
Logan and Evan up from Anna's place.
 
Just a week before the wedding they had been called by Ashley so they could
approve of the final design before they could bake and decorate the cake.
Tanner had shamelessly flirted with Louis the entire time and what had pissed
Harry was the way Louis would slightly blush and giggle until he grabbed his
hand and pulled him away from the other man. They had argued the whole way home
with Louis telling Harry he had embarrassed them while Harry argued that Tanner
was lucky he didn't had a black eye by now.
 
"Oh so you wanted me to just stand there like an idiot and watch that fucker
flirt with you as if I don't exist?" Harry raised his eyebrows nodding when
Louis didn't say anything.
 
"Harry you know I wasn't flirting and I only love you." Louis quickly said
realizing his mistake.
 
"No no, leave it...just...whatever. I'm gonna go get the kids." Harry said then
turned around leaving Louis alone.
 
"Harry..." Louis tried to follow but by the time he walked outside Harry and
the car were gone and he began to panic thinking that maybe Harry now regretted
ever asking him to marry him and was going to call off the wedding.
 
He called his mum nearly in hysterics calming down a bit when she told him he
was overreacting and Harry wouldn't do that then waited for him to get back
sitting at the breakfast bar with a cup of tea. He took a deep breath when he
heard the garage door opening then closing again and minutes later Logan ran
into the kitchen hugging Louis around the waist as he hugged back kissing her
forehead. Harry walked in a few seconds later setting the car seat on top of
the counter making no move to take him out since their eight month old was
asleep after a long day of rolling around and getting up on all fours rocking
himself back and forth attempting to crawl.
 
"Come here." Harry finally said walking up to Louis with open arms and hugging
him when he saw how red Louis' nose was.
 
"I'm sorry, please don't call off the wedding." Louis sniffed relaxing when
Harry kissed the top of his head rubbing his back.
 
"I'm not gonna call off the wedding. Why are you thinking that?" Harry asked
watching Logan walk away coming back with Buttercup.
 
"Because I'm an ass hole and you probably don't want to marry me anymore."
Louis mumbled against his chest playing with one of the buttons from his red
plaid shirt.
 
"That's not true, you're not an ass hole and I still want to marry you. We're
gonna get married this Saturday...in four days you're gonna be Mr. Louis Styles
and my husband. Can't go back now 'cause you already said yes." Harry chuckled
at the last part but even Louis could sense the insecurity behind those last
words.
 
"I don't want to go back...I want to marry you." Louis pulled away to look at
him.
 
"Can't wait." Harry smiled leaning down to kiss Louis just as Evan chose that
moment to wake up crying and hungry.
 
"Hi sweetheart, daddy missed you." Louis smiled picking him up while Harry
grabbed the nasty baby food he had secretly tried when he was alone with him
and Louis was out spending one on one time with Logan.
 
The night before the wedding after they had refused to stay away from each
other before the wedding Louis waited outside Evan's room until he stopped
crying going through a phase of separation anxiety then went back to his
bedroom careful not to wake their family up that now both of them were one. As
soon as he was in bed Harry wrapped his arms around him kissing the back of his
neck calming his nerves down. He couldn't wait to marry the love of his life,
the boy who back then when they were younger had planned their Spider-Man
themed wedding wanting to forever be with him just like he did too.
Chapter End Notes
     Thoughts? :)
      
      [ photo tumblr_mrt4t0GY8L1rnxzxuo1_500_zps4b8fac6e.gif]
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_mrt4t0GY8L1rnxzxuo1_500_zps4b8fac6e.gif
***** My wandering soul found solace at last *****
Chapter Notes
     This is long overdue but here is the last chapter before the
     epilogue, hope you guys like it. :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The next morning Louis woke up just in time to see Harry before he was taken
away by Anne and Gemma to get him ready for their big day while his mother
tried to help him get ready with Lottie and Felicite's help. Robin and Mark had
taken it as their duty to watch over the little ones while the rest got ready
and after Harry was almost ready Gemma and Eleanor who had gotten there earlier
tried to get the twins, Logan and Evan ready for the day. After Gemma was done
with the twins hair she moved on to get the baby ready while Eleanor tried to
do Logan's hair taking longer when she kept moving and whining until Eleanor
settled with doing a french braid headband leaving her perfectly styled curls
cascading over her back and shoulders adding a flower crown. Once everyone was
ready by four o'clock Harry was the first one to leave to the church a nervous
mess followed by Louis ten minutes later who wasn't doing any better.
 
******
 
"Mum I'm so nervous, what if something goes wrong." Louis looked at his mother
who only smiled wrapping her comforting arms around him.
 
"Nothing is gonna go wrong baby, you and Harry did an excellent job and the
church and reception look amazing. This is yours and Harry's big day and...my
gosh my baby's getting married." Jay started tearing up out of nowhere as she
waited with Louis for the ceremony to start.
 
"We agreed on no tears today mum, you're gonna ruin your make up." Louis tried
not to tear up himself.
 
"We're all wearing waterproof mascara." Jay let out a watery laugh making Louis
laugh and feel less nervous.
 
"I still don't want you to cry, I want you to smile the whole time and look
beautiful like you always do." Louis said putting his hands on her cheeks
kissing her forehead.
 
"I'm just so happy that you're finally happy and in a few hours you'll be a
married man and starting a new chapter of your life with Harry and my
grandbabies...hopefully with more soon to spoil rotten." Jay casually said
fixing his hair that was styled back like Jay had told him Harry's was.
 
"Not you too. First Logan then the girls...I do want more children but for now
I'm happy with just Logan and Evan, he's not even nine months yet." Louis
chuckled when his mother pouted.
 
"Fine, I guess I can wait a few years." Jay smiled.
 
While Louis was now calm and joking with his mum Harry was in another room
freaking out as Anne and Gemma tried to calm him down but nothing seemed to
work. He had a habit of playing with his hair when nervous yelping every time
Gemma would slap his hands to keep him from ruining it then started playing
with his boutonniere only to have his mother gently stop him telling him he was
going to ruin it. He felt better when she sat down next to him putting an arm
over his shoulder bringing him closer to her smiling at his sister before she
left the room to go to Ashton and check on Evan and Logan.
 
"Don't be nervous sweetheart. You did write your vows and memorized them,
right?" Anne asked gently stroking Harry's left cheek with the back of her
fingers like she used to do when he was a child and was terrified of
thunderstorms.
 
"I did...I hope I don't mess up." Harry let out a shaky breath feeling his
heart almost beating out of his chest.
 
"You won't so don't worry, just take a deep breath and don't be nervous." Anne
said trying to calm him down.
 
"I still can't believe he's gonna marry me after everything, it feels like a
dream and I'm scared I'll wake up and be alone again before I found them...I'm
scared the nightmares will comeback again and maybe this is one of them where I
wake up alone without them." Harry said wanting his mum to hug him tight.
 
"You're not dreaming baby, this is really happening and he's going to marry you
because he loves you and he forgave you. I know you feel like you're not worthy
of him and deep inside you still hate yourself for what you did but just like
he was able to move on and leave it all in the past to form a beautiful family
with you you should too. You have two beautiful children who love you and a
wonderful man who never stopped loving you just like you never did. If you
weren't really worthy of him then why did you find each other again, huh?" Anne
softly said kissing the top of his head.
 
"Because I love him...and he loves me back, he never stopped just like I never
did." Harry's lip trembled letting a few tears fall feeling his mum wiping them
away.
 
"There you go." Anne smiled drying his tears before she kissed his forehead.
 
"Thank you." Harry whispered wrapping his arms around her.
 
"Ready?" Anne asked getting up along with Harry grabbing his hand.
 
"Ready." Harry confirmed taking a deep breath then smiled as they walked to the
altar where he'll be waiting for Louis.
 
Louis took a deep breath walking next to his mother and behind Logan and Alex
who were taking their tasks rather seriously after she had narrowed her eyes at
Louis shaking her head when he walked into the church before she and Alex did.
As soon as he stepped into the aisle he smiled seeing Harry looking as handsome
as ever waiting for him at the altar while the soft music played and when their
eyes met it was as if the air had been knocked out of Harry's chest watching
him getting closer and closer unable to take his eyes off of him smiling just
as he did.
 
When he got there his mother grabbed his and Harry's hands joining them
together as she spoke telling Harry that by giving him her first born's hand
she was giving him her most precious possession then smiled going to her seat
next to Mark and her daughters. Both Harry and Louis smiled at each other still
in a daze not quite yet believing they were about to get married then turned
around to face reverend Smith who warmly smiled at them before he began
speaking.
 
"We are gathered here on this beautiful afternoon to share with Louis and Harry
as they exchange vows of their love. As Louis and Harry take their vows today,
we are privileged to witness the joyous love of a family. A family that will be
nourished and nurtured through the devotion of two separate individuals growing
together through the common bonds of love." Reverend Smith spoke as Louis and
Harry fought the urge to just look at each other as they held hands.
 
"May their marriage bring them peace, joy, comfort and contentment that is
known in both of their hearts. May Harry and Louis both look forward to each
new season of their marriage for all seasons bring with them their own special
moments and memories. An essential requirement of a good marriage is a strong
bond of real friendship and trust. Louis and Harry, your Love for each other
will grow deeper with every passing day, but it is important to remember that
your Love stands on a fountain of a genuine, mutual affection and respect for
each other.
 
To truly love another person is to be willing to accept both their strong
points, and their weak points, with equal measures of understanding and
respect. The vows you're about to exchange, will serve as a verbal
representation of the nonverbal emotions that are as real as anything that can
be seen, heard or touched. For it is not the words that you will speak today
that will bond you together as one...but the strength of the love and
commitment found deep within your souls. At this time I'll ask you, Harry, and
you, Louis, to face each other and take each other's hands."
 
As soon as they laid eyes on each other they couldn't help but smile as
everyone in the room could see how much they really loved each other, how the
universe had managed to create and join two souls so perfect for each other.
Two souls meant to be together that after all had found their way back to the
other, two lovers that would finally get their happily ever after they had
longed for half their lives. They could hear their son babbling nonsense in the
background as he sat on Anne's lap calmly playing with her fingers looking up
at Logan smiling before going back to what he had been doing.
 
"If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in
holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." Reverend Smith's voice
echoed across the church and when nothing happened he smiled sensing how
relieved the couple was.
 
"Harry, do you take Louis to be your husband, your partner in life and your one
true love? Do you promise to cherish his friendship and love him today,
tomorrow and forever? Do you promise to trust and honor him, laugh with him and
cry with him? Do you promise to be faithful through good times and bad, in
sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"
 
"I do." Harry answered without hesitation noticing the way Louis let out a
shaky breath.
 
"Louis, do you take Harry to be your husband, your partner in life and your one
true love? Do you promise to cherish his friendship and love him today,
tomorrow and forever? Do you promise to trust and honor him, laugh with him and
cry with him? Do you promise to be faithful through good times and bad, in
sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"
 
"I do." Louis said loud and clear never breaking eye contact with Harry afraid
that if he did he might disappear never to be seen again.
 
When reverend Smith motioned for the rings Alex shyly walked up to them
patiently waiting for them to take the rings and say their personal written
vows just like he had practiced and Louis and Harry had chosen to say after the
I do's wanting to give the wedding bands to each other with their own words.
Harry gently grabbed the white gold one meant for Louis taking his hands again
ready to say those words he had written with love then memorized just so Louis
could hear how he felt and how much he loved him.
 
"These words might sound so simple at the moment but they took a while to find,
it took a while just wanting to get them right. Words cannot describe how much
you mean to me, how much I love and adore you. Thank you for giving me another
chance when I didn't deserve it, thank you for giving me two beautiful children
and for still loving me after all this time. You have no idea how much I love
everything about you, your smile, your eyes and the way you roll them even
though I always tell you they're gonna get stuck like that one of these days.
 
I love every word you say and everything you do, and every time you smile at me
and tell me you love me as much as I love you it always takes my breath away.
Today I promise to love you more and more everyday of our lives and to make you
and our children so happy for the rest of our lives. I love you Lou." Harry
tried not to tear up seeing Louis already was as he gently placed the ring on
his finger then lifted his hands up to kiss them mouthing another I love you.
 
Louis tried to clear his throat glad that the wetness in his eyes didn't rolled
down his cheeks as he gently grabbed Harry's ring thanking Alex giving him a
quick hug before he walked back to Brian and David who were so proud of their
little boy quietly praising him.
 
"From that moment you first smiled at me from your bedroom window I knew how
special you would be to me. I never thought I would fall in love with you the
way I did but I wouldn't have it any other way, I've heard that home is where
the heart is and that's you and our children. Words would never be enough to
let you know how much I love you and if I'm honest I'll never be able to find
the right ones to describe our love but I do know a few things. I love all of
you, I love everything about you and I will always love you.
 
You don't have to be afraid anymore because you're my forever and I have loved
you for a long time and I will fall more and more in love with you every day
for the rest of my life. You make me the happiest man alive and every night you
hold me in your arms I close my eyes and fall asleep feeling safe knowing
you'll be there when I wake up. Next to you I have everything I need, I want to
get old next to you and tell you how much I love you everyday. I will always
love you no matter what and I'll never stop, never." Louis placed the ring on
Harry's finger squeezing his hands.
 
"Take these rings as a token of your affection and by the power invested in me
I declare you husband and husband. You may now kiss." Reverend Smith said
blessing their union.
 
In that moment it seemed as if time had stopped when Harry got closer placing
both of his hands on his cheeks then tilted his head a little to the right
leaning forward where he soon felt Louis' warm lips on his own moving in sync
with them. They smiled into the kiss as the loud cheers and clapping got louder
and louder and when Louis placed his hand on Harry's cheek he felt the wetness
gently drying it with his thumb, he pulled back and kissed his cheek feeling
Harry's warm and safe arms around him letting go to turn and look at the guests
always holding hands.
 
"I present to you Mr. and Mr. Styles."
 
As soon as those words were spoken they knew nothing could ever and would never
come between them and holding hands they walked out of the church as reverend
Smith observed them with a tiny smile content to be able to witness a love like
theirs. When they were outside the church they were congratulated and the first
ones to hug them were their mothers who held them tight until Evan started
squirming and getting fussy in between Harry and Anne and she gave him to her
watching how her grandson immediately snuggled up to Harry bringing his whole
fist into his mouth.
 
"Congratulations baby, I'm so happy for you." Anne said tearing up.
 
"Don't cry mum, it's a happy day today so please don't cry." Harry gently wiped
her tears away watching Gemma walking up to him.
 
"Congratulations baby brother." Gemma hugged him kissing his forehead then
Evan's.
 
"Thank you Gems." Harry smiled hugging her tighter.
 
After he was congratulated by Robin, Liam and the rest he looked around for
Louis and Logan finding them posing for a picture and when Louis saw him his
whole face lit up extending his arm out so he could take his hand pulling him
closer to take a picture of all four of them holding their son and daughter in
between them.
 
"Louis, congratulations sweetheart."
 
"Aunt Suzanne, you made it!" Louis smiled looking at his mother's sister, the
person he had lived with for three months when he had first moved to London.
 
"I couldn't miss you getting married, Spain is not too far away." She smiled
hugging him then smiled at Logan as she shyly smiled at her. "Well aren't you a
gorgeous little girl, last time I saw you you were just a tiny newborn."
 
"Aunt Suzanne, I want you to meet my husband Harry and our son Evan. Love this
is my aunt Suzanne, I lived with her when I first got here." Louis beamed with
happiness as he introduced them looking so happy that Harry didn't even had
time to think about those first months without Louis.
 
"Nice to meet you ma'am." Harry smiled then was surprised when she pulled him
into a hug.
 
"Please call me Suzanne dear, you're part of the family now. And what a
beautiful baby, Jay talks about him and Logan all the time. May I?" Suzanne
asked smiling when Harry nodded and gave her to him as the baby looked back at
Harry with wide blue eyes.
 
He looked at Harry then at Louis before he pouted his bottom lip and it
trembled before he started crying wanting and waiting for one of his daddies to
take him back. Harry gave her an apologetic look before taking him back
explaining he just didn't know her as he rubbed his tiny back to calm him down
then took Logan from Louis giving him Evan knowing he could calm him down in a
matter of seconds.
 
When they got to the reception they were once again introduced as Mr. and Mr.
Styles and Louis couldn't stop looking at Harry and smiling at the way he
glowed with happiness. They thanked their guests for sharing that wonderful
afternoon with them and soon enough it was time for toasting. Louis listened
with tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face as Zayn talked about their
adventures and wished him and Harry the best of the best. Harry knew Zayn was
still a bit angry and that it would take time to fully accept him again like he
had done before when they were kids but at the moment he was content with Zayn
tolerating him. Liam's toast was emotional ad he told Harry he was happy for
him and was glad they had shared all those great memories together wished the
happy couple the best.
 
By the time the mother and son dances were over it was time for their first
ever dance as a married couple and when a Thousand Years by Christina Perri and
Steve Kazee started playing Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and
Louis around Harry's shoulders. They felt as if they were the only ones in the
entire room as Louis rested his head on Harry's shoulder facing his neck
feeling millions of butterflies in his stomach not being able to think about
anything else but his husband and that moment between them as Harry tightened
his grip around him.
 
'I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more'
 
"I love you angel." Harry murmured smiling when Louis lifted his head and
picked his lips.
 
"I love you too...with all my heart." Louis said meaning every single word.
 
Louis was at his happiest having a great time dancing with either Harry, Logan
or his friends and sisters that now included Gemma when she told him she might
be his sister in law but she preferred just sister because he was like a
brother to her. When they cut the cake they could only take two pictures before
a crying Evan was given to Louis immediately calming down and Logan clung to
Harry demanding to be picked up. They watched her clean Evan's hand with a
napkin after he thought it would be a good idea to grab Louis' piece of cake
letting out a happy scream when his hand made contact with it ready to grab
Logan's hair when she grabbed it to clean it.
 
They stayed together until both kids fell asleep in their fathers arms and it
was time to leave to the airport for their honeymoon to Nassau in the Bahamas
with Louis being excited but at the same time not wanting to leave his precious
babies behind. Logan woke up just in time before they left giving them hugs and
kisses going back to sleep soon after already knowing they were going on a
vacation like uncle Zayn and uncle Niall figuring out that's what married
people did.
 
~*~
 
"Lou, wake up. We're here." Harry gently nudged a sleeping Louis.
 
It was two in the morning the following Sunday when they got to Nassau's
international airport and as soon as Louis woke up they took a cab to the
resort where they would be staying in. As soon as they got there Louis was wide
awake and once they were alone they looked at each other until Louis raised his
eyebrows and slowly walked up to Harry where he immediately picked him up by
the back of his thighs feeling Louis' legs wrapping around his waist as they
kissed and he stumbled to the bed forgetting all about their suitcases left
abandoned by the door.
 
That night Harry made love to Louis taking his time as if that would be his
last time with him and after he wrapped his arms around him letting him rest
his head on his chest falling asleep with content expressions. The next morning
Louis slowly opened his eyes feeling Harry's chest slowly rising and falling
with his warm arms still wrapped around him feeling safe in them. Instead of
waking him up he burrowed deeper into them shivering when he felt Harry's
fingertips running up and down his naked back then his lips kissing the top of
his head.
 
"Good morning." Harry sleepily mumbled frowning when Louis moved away from him.
 
"Morning...husband." Louis said scooting closer to Harry so he was laying next
to him loving how Harry immediately wrapped his arms around him.
 
"Let's stay here all day long, we can go out tomorrow." Harry said getting
comfortable almost on top of Louis.
 
"Yeah okay...kiss me." Louis agreed puckering up his lips rolling his eyes when
all he got was a peck.
 
"Morning breath babe." Harry mumbled nuzzling his face on Louis' neck.
 
They spent the rest of the day in bed ordering room service calling home to
check on the kids listening when Logan told them all about her day then heard
Evan's giggles when he heard their voices. Both of them laughed when Jay told
them the way he was kicking his legs in excitement and after they hung up Harry
suggested they go out when it was almost dinner time. Louis was surprised when
Harry took him to a private beach where a candlelight dinner was waiting, he
couldn't stop himself from kissing him under the stars then admired the twinkly
lights decorating the gazebo loving every single thing.
 
"This is perfect, thank you." Louis said holding Harry's hand across the table.
 
"I'm glad you like it, I've always wanted to do this for you. We have all the
beach to ourselves, we could go for a walk." Harry smiled leaning forward to
give Louis a gentle kiss.
 
After eating they walked around the beach always holding hands glad that no one
was around to bother them. Harry took a seat down on the sand far away from the
waves not caring that he was getting it all over his pants. He pulled Louis
down to sit on his lap and instead of him sitting across he straddled him
resting his head on his shoulder wrapping his arms around him. Harry laid back
down on his back with Louis on top of him enjoying the view of the shining
stars and having Louis close to him until Louis lifted his head up and softly
kissed him. Harry smiled noticing the way Louis' blue happy eyes shined the way
they did before when they first met finding it impossible to look away until he
felt the tip of Louis' finger gently wiping away a single tear.
 
"I love you." Louis whispered hoping to finally make Harry see that their dark
past no longer mattered, to see that what mattered was their present and future
together.
 
"I'll never understand how you never stopped, all those four years I thought
you would have moved on but you never did." Harry closed his eyes hugging Louis
tighter.
 
"I tried. I tried to move on but I couldn't, you were always there in the back
of my mind and sometimes I would think about you before going to sleep,
whenever I looked at Logan there you were. Her hair, her eyes...even the way
she acted sometimes...it was all you." Louis sighed at the end feeling calm and
content.
 
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry for hurting you like that, I was a monster and so
stupid. I'm sorry...why do you even still love me, I love you so much but I
don't deserve you loving me." Harry started crying while Louis watched with
tears in his eyes letting him let everything out and held him until he calmed
down.
 
"Remember when we watched Titanic and you stayed in bed staring at the tv until
the credits were over because you wanted to listen to that Celine Dion song?"
Louis asked then continued talking when Harry nodded not quite understanding
what Louis was trying to say. "Do you remember that part that says 'Love can
touch us one time and last for a lifetime'?"
 
"Yeah but what does that have to do with us?" Harry asked rubbing circles on
Louis' lower back.
 
"Oh my God, think Styles." Louis chuckled wanting to kiss his cute pout away.
 
"I don't get it." Harry whined.
 
"Jack died but Rose didn't..."
 
"And whose fault was that? He could have survived too but Rose hogged the door
and didn't even give him a chance." Harry grumbled.
 
"There wasn't enough space for both of them and he wanted her to live because
he loved her." Louis said thinking not again as he let his head drop on Harry's
chest then lifted it up again to look at Harry remembering how they always
argued about it in the end.
 
"Yes there was, she was just too selfish."
 
"That's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that no matter what and how
long she never stopped loving him, he was her first and only true love. I had
never been in love before I fell in love with you and as much as I wished back
then to stop once and for all I never did and I could never love anybody else
like I love you. It was always you and will always be you no matter what, I'll
never stop even after I'm dead. Just like Rose never stopped loving Jack."
Louis slowly got up still straddling Harry.
 
"I'll always love you too and we'll always be together even after we're long
gone from this world." Harry promised feeling somehow calmer.
 
"I remember reading this quote, 'True love is choosing the many things a person
did right rather than the one thing he did wrong. True love does not keep the
record of wrongs.' I remember thinking about you when I read it when we got
back home from Doncaster after our trip to Hawaii, I thought about all our
memories and never did a bad one crossed my mind.
 
You want to know why? Because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my
life with you, I want to wake up everyday next to you telling you and hearing
you telling me how much you love me. I want you and need you to forgive
yourself, I did it and now I couldn't be any happier but I think about you not
being able to and I wish I could change the way you think about yourself. Wish
I could make you see its time and okay to forgive yourself." Louis spoke
brushing the hair out of Harry's forehead.
 
"You promise me you'll never stop loving me?" Harry whispered and Louis could
sense how hard he was thinking and could feel his heart beating faster.
 
"I'll never stop, I will always love you with all my heart." Louis said kissing
the corner of Harry's lips.
 
"I don't...I don't...I don't hate myself as much." Harry slowly concluded and
that was enough for Louis who smiled and kissed him long and hard.
 
They went back to their room once again showing each other how much they loved
each other. Louis couldn't help but dig his fingernails across Harry's back
feeling every drag as Harry slowly moved in and out of him, feeling his lips
kissing every inch of his body and his hands touching it. They laced their
fingers together coming at the same time staying still until Harry kissed him
again whispering I love you's and falling asleep in each other's arms after a
long shower together.
 
The next last two days were spent doing all sorts of activities including
snorkeling which Louis simply loved and never wanted to leave convincing Harry
to stay a little longer posing for pictures and taking selfies after Harry
insisted. Harry's favorite was waterskiing and Louis' paddle boarding laughing
every time Harry would lose his balance until he pulled him down with him, they
splashed each other sharing a few kisses always smiling and laughing.
 
Kayaking was fun except when Louis who was sitting behind Harry would stop and
let him do all the work until Harry would start complaining about his arms
hurting yet that hadn't stopped him from holding him up against the wall as he
fucked him managing to break a lamp when Louis tried to hold onto something
other than Harry when he was on the verge of coming.
 
Their last night in Nassau when Harry's arms were too sore Louis rode him into
oblivion trying to touch him but couldn't when his hands were tied to the
bedpost with his own tie and Louis had complete control over him. The following
morning, hours before it was time to go Louis found himself on all fours in the
middle of the bed as Harry pounded into him until he pulled out quickly
removing the condom coming all over his lower bare back in long white strings.
 
That was enough for Louis who came all over the sheets and himself about to
fall down into the mess but Harry quickly held him up then helped him to the
bathroom where they showered together. Louis washed the area stained with come
in the bedsheets too embarrassed to leave them like that and sooner than they
thought they were in an airplane on their way back home wanting to see their
babies already.
 
~*~
 
"We're back!" Harry shouted walking into Anne's house getting smacked in the
back of the head by Louis when Evan started crying knowing he had woken him up
from a nap.
 
"Daddies!" Logan slammed the back door open running to them followed by
Buttercup, both of them wet from head to toe managing to hug both of them.
 
"Hi baby, we missed you!" Louis picked her up ignoring her wet clothes
wondering what had she been doing until he saw a blue balloon flying across the
backyard then heard Gemma screaming and Ashton laughing.
 
"I missed you lovebug, hug me." Harry took her from Louis hugging her tight.
 
"Bubbie and me missed you daddies, he's sleeping 'cause he's tired and he ate
all his food." Logan informed them just as Anne walked in holding a fussy baby
looking at Harry who only smiled back.
 
"Welcome back, I'm so glad you're back safe and sound." Anne hugged them then
gave Evan to Louis watching him cry a few more seconds until he noticed who was
holding him then looked at Harry before he rubbed his eyes and rested his head
on Louis' shoulder sighing when Louis rubbed his back.
 
"Daddy missed you baby boy, sorry I woke you up." Harry cooed at him kissing
his forehead.
 
"What's going on outside?" Harry asked bending down to pet Buttercup after
hearing his and Louis' sisters as well as Ashton outside.
 
"Water balloon fight daddy, I'm in the team with Ashie. Down please." Logan
demanded running back outside.
 
"All the girls except Lottie are outside and Ashton came over so they thought
it would be a good idea." Anne chuckled gently brushing back Evan's hair.
 
"Where are Lottie and mum?" Louis asked.
 
"Appointment with the orthodontist." Anna answered.
 
"Did Logan and Evan give you any trouble." Louis asked smiling when he noticed
his son was completely passed out.
 
"They were angels." Anne smiled looking outside wanting to tell them to keep it
down.
 
They could see Gemma, Daisy, and Phoebe throwing balloon after balloon at
Felicite, Ashton and Logan feeling their daughter was safe when Ashton picked
her up running around with her protecting her with his body as she madly
giggled screaming every time one would hit them. A few more balloons were
thrown before the fight was over and all the girls came rushing to hug them and
welcome them back getting a handshake from Ashton until Harry pulled him in
into a rough hug while Louis hugged him in a more gentle way appreciating him
avoiding touching Evan with his wet shirt.
 
"We won daddies! Right Ashie, we won." Logan said looking up at Ashton.
 
"We did cause we're the best!" Ashton high fived her and Felicite.
 
"Sure you did." Gemma muttered then smiled when Ashton pouted.
 
"Lou, you're back." Jay said walking into the house followed by Lottie.
 
"Hi mum....what's wrong Lottie?" Louis asked hugging them both before Harry
did.
 
"They tightened her braces, can't talk right now." Jay explained.
 
"Are you boys staying the night?" Anne asked hoping for yes.
 
"If you don't mind." Harry said smiling when Anne told him she didn't.
 
That afternoon they all had dinner back at Jay's place loving the fact that
they were all together like before but this time with three new people in the
family. They even loved Gemma's teasing about them being married now
remembering when both of them were awkward thirteen year olds. Later that day
all four of them found themselves in Anne's living room watching a movie while
Evan was finally sitting up on his own madly chewing on the ear of his teddy
bear drooling all over his bib already teething and Louis was glad that he
didn't cry as much as Logan did.
 
He was giggling up at his parents who were making silly faces when he noticed
Logan holding her own teddy bear and abandoning his own he began trying to get
to her scooting on his bum using his right leg and arm to help himself until he
was right next to her lifting his arm to grab the teddy bear but Logan was
faster and moved away still watching the movie until Harry picked him up to
give him a bath bracing himself for the crying but was left surprised when
instead of screaming his lungs out he only splashed around in the water
giggling at the sounds it made.
 
~*~
 
"Do you have to go back?" Louis asked Harry blocking the door to the garage
with his body not wanting him to leave, it had been a week after getting back
from Doncaster and Harry was already busy with work again while Louis had an
interview later that week at Logan's school for the art teacher position for
the older kids.
 
"I do but I'll be back by three, I have this photoshoot with," Harry looked
around making sure Logan wasn't around then looked back at Louis whispering the
next two words. "Little Mix."
 
"Little Mix!" Louis' eyes widened putting a hand over his mouth thanking the
gods Logan was in the kitchen eating next to Evan who was in his high chair.
 
"Yeah them. I'll be back soon, I love you." Harry kissed him wrapping his arms
around his waist then slowly lowered his hands squeezing Louis' bum.
 
"Harry! There are children in this house." Louis gasped pushing him away biting
on his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling.
 
"You love me." Harry pecked his lips wrapping his arms around him once again.
 
"I do love you...a lot." Louis said in between kisses then with a final peck he
got out of the way and when Harry was gone he closed the garage door and walked
back inside.
 
A few minutes later after he had cleaned up the kitchen a bit and Evan's face
and hands that were covered in baby food he took them downstairs to the
playroom putting him in his walker laughing and shaking his head because he
could only go backwards while Logan attempted to read a story to him. He kept
an eye on Evan while listening to Logan when he heard the door bell getting up
and telling Logan to watch her brother. When he opened the door a crying Niall
threw himself at him wrapping his arms around him and all he could do was hug
him back closing the door with his foot.
 
"Niall what's wrong, why are you crying?" Louis asked, his mind immediately
going to Zayn fearing the worst.
 
"I'm- I'm p- pregnant." Niall sobbed.
 
"What?! Oh my gosh, congratulations! I know you're so happy but please don't
cry Ni, it's not good for the baby. Have you told Zayn?" Louis pulled back
almost jumping up and down in excitement.
 
"I c- can't tell Zayn, we a- agreed on no babies for at least two years and n-
now I'm knocked up." Niall hugged himself not knowing what to do.
 
"Come with me, I left the kids downstairs and Harry's not home." Louis wrapped
an arm around Niall's waist wiping his tears away. "How far along are you?"
 
"T- three months." Niall hicupped.
 
When they got downstairs they found Logan walking around in circles followed by
Evan who was slowly crawling behind her and just as Louis was about to cheer
because he was finally crawling the baby lost his balance landing face first
into the carpet letting out a loud wail as Louis quickly ran to him picking him
up and making sure he was okay. He hugged him telling him he was okay kissing
his forehead quickly calming down while Logan stared ready to cry.
 
"It's okay sweetie, don't cry. It was just an accident." Louis pulled her close
hearing her muffled cries against his stomach.
 
"I'm sorry...Bubbie wanted to get out and play." Logan explained as she cried.
 
"I'm not mad but next time wait until your dad or I are here if you want to
take him out okay." Louis kissed her forehead giving Evan to Niall so he could
hug her.
 
"Okay." She nodded before going to Niall to give him and Evan a kiss then went
to sit at her table to color.
 
"Are you feeling better?" Louis asked taking a seat after Niall did still
holding Evan not wanting to let go just yet knowing that in six months he'll be
holding his own baby.
 
"He's going to be angry at me for not being careful." Niall looked down at his
stomach where a tiny bump was already forming.
 
"He won't Niall, it takes two to make a baby and I'm sure he's gonna be so
happy once you tell him. He really wants to be a father, he's told me many
times." Louis tried to convince him it was going to be okay.
 
"Yes but not this early, we've only been married for half a year and I'm
already three months and...and..." Niall trailed off lightly bouncing Evan up
and down when he started whimpering as they noticed the tiny red patch of skin
on his forehead.
 
"And what? Niall you're scaring me." Louis sat up straighter starting to really
worry.
 
"Twins...I'm having twins. I made an appointment with Dr. Lane and she's pretty
sure they're fraternal so at least we'll know which one's which." Niall let out
a shaky breath taking an ultrasound picture out of his wallet to show it to
Louis.
 
"That's wonderful!" Louis exclaimed as he looked at the picture then sighed
seeing Niall chewing on his bottom lip. "Niall...remember when they told you it
would be almost impossible for you to get pregnant and here you are now, you're
gonna have not one but two babies. Just tell Zayn and you'll see how happy he
going to be, he'll probably want to go shopping for baby stuff and things for
the nursery." Louis smiled when Niall took a deep breath then nodded running
his fingers through Evan's hair as he played with his necklace.
 
"Uncle Niall, are you gonna have a baby like daddy?" Logan asked handing him a
colored page from her coloring book then wrapped her arm around his neck.
 
"Yeah monster but I'm gonna have two babies, I don't know if they're boys or
girls yet." Niall smiled kissing her cheek.
 
"Did uncle Zayn made two babies in your tummy because he loves you extra and
hugged you tighter?" Logan asked as the curiosity took over and she only stared
at Niall expecting an answer.
 
"I...Louis do something." Niall pleaded not knowing what to say.
 
"He loves him yes and hugs him tight but uncle Niall just got lucky and now
he's gonna have two little babies." Louis smiled while Niall just looked at
him.
 
"And uncle Zayn grabs his bum too?" Logan asked.
 
"Logan!" Louis exclaimed blushing a bit completely horrified.
 
"Daddy Curly grabs your bum daddy...I saw him uncle Niall. And he spanks it
cause he's a bad boy." Logan giggled.
 
"Okay that's enough young lady, you can let the dog in. Go." Louis quickly said
watching her run to open the door letting the dog in who quickly gave her all
his attention.
 
"He spanks you cause you're a bad boy." Niall burst out laughing.
 
"Do not talk about it...please." Louis groaned hiding his face in his hands.
 
"You forgot to lock the door or something?" Niall asked still laughing.
 
"Late last night we were watching a movie and we just...you know, but I swear
we were still dressed, we were just kissing and she saw us." Louis blushed a
deeper red. "No privacy at all, but thankfully she didn't see anything else
other than him smacking it when I got up."
 
Niall left an hour later still laughing and ready to tell Zayn the big news
once he was back from the summer orientation at the new school he was going to
teach English to teenagers. He had finally found a job that would pay more and
Niall was grateful since now they were going to need it, he just prayed to get
that promotion after the last sound engineer had resigned.
 
~*~
 
"Blondie I'm back!" Zayn shouted closing the door behind him dumping his bag on
the couch.
 
"Hey." Niall walked in wearing baggy clothes of Zayn's holding onto the
ultrasound picture in his pocket.
 
"Are you cold?" Zayn asked giving him a quick kiss then made him sit next to
him on the couch wrapping his arms around him.
 
"No. I need to tell you something." Niall mumbled.
 
"What is it?"
 
"Do you remember when we said we were going to wait at least two years to have
a baby? Do you still want any?" Niall asked hiding his face on Zayn's chest.
 
"Yes and yes, I still want to have a few kids. Why are you asking?" Zayn kissed
the top of his head wondering what his silly husband was up to now.
 
Niall's hand was shaking when he took the picture out and gave it to Zayn who
took it and froze staring at the ultrasound picture with 'Niall Malik' printed
on the top left corner and two gray dots labeled as baby a and baby b. He felt
his eyes stinging with tears before they overflowed with unshed tears and
hugged Niall tighter yet he was still careful not to hurt him and their babies.
 
"We're- we're going to be parents...this- this is the best news I've ever
gotten. I'm gonna be a dad." Zayn let the happy tears fall pulling away to
pepper Niall's face with kisses laughing and crying at the same time.
 
"We are...I hope it's a boy and a girl." Niall gave him a watery smile.
 
"You're what? 3 months? I can't wait, we have to tell everyone." Zayn gently
stroked Niall's tummy smiling wider when he felt a tiny bump.
 
"Louis already knows...I was kinda freaking out 'cause I thought you were going
to be mad at me but he made me feel better." Niall looked down.
 
"Babe, I would never be mad at you. You and these babies are the best thing to
ever happen to me. I love you so much, I love all three of you." Zayn said
kneeling down in front of Niall lifting his shirt up to kiss his tummy.
 
"I love you too." Niall smiled, his eyes filling with tears.
 
That night Zayn went crazy calling his and Niall's families to tell them the
great news loving how his mum and Maura were already planning to knit a few
things for the babies and how excited his father was looking forward to a baby
boy and Niall's father to a baby girl.
 
~*~
 
Louis was sitting on the floor with Evan while Logan was asleep watching him
crawl around him then trying to climb on his lap wanting a cuddle getting one
from Buttercup too when he heard Harry's voice calling for him. As soon as
Harry walked in Louis motioned for him to stop a few feet away from them then
picked up Evan putting him down on all fours never losing his bright smile
kissing his son's temple.
 
"Call him, make him go to you." Louis said watching Harry crouching down and
putting his stuff next to him.
 
"Hey buddy! Come give daddy a cuddle." Harry opened his arms and when Evan just
stared Harry grabbed his teddy bear and showed it to him still calling for him.
 
His smile widened when he started crawling to him stopping a few times until he
was right in front of him where he picked him up and kissed all over his tiny
face chuckling when Evan grabbed his nose and pushed him away.
 
"When did he started crawling, what happened to his forehead?" Harry asked
getting up with him in his arms checking his forehead.
 
"I left him in his walker to go get the door and when I came back he was
following Logan around, she took him out of it. I think he forgot he had to use
his arm and poor thing fell face first into the carpet." Louis explained
getting up to give Harry a quick kiss.
 
"My poor baby, that must've hurt." Harry cupped his head hugging him tighter.
 
An hour later when Logan woke up and got lots of kisses from Harry they went to
the backyard where she played on her new playground set as Buttercup tried to
follow her around while Louis and Harry sat on the grass keeping an eye on her
and Evan who as soon as he had gotten the hang of crawling there was no one
stopping him anymore and literally crawled everywhere. Louis leaned against
Harry as he wrapped his arm around him kissing the side of his head feeling
Evan's tiny hands on the top of his thighs taking the teddy bear he offered to
them then lifted his arms up wanting to be picked up.
 
When Logan got tired of running around she took a seat on Harry's lap letting
Buttercup sit next to her as all three of them watched the sunset. Louis felt
the happiest man alive thankful to have the family he had always wanted with
the only person he had always and would always truly love. In that moment Harry
finally felt free and at peace with himself, he was finally able to love
himself once again and allowed himself to believe he deserved them after all.
Just like Louis had done a while ago, his lost and wandering soul had finally
found the consolation it needed to heal itself just like Louis' own one as he
wrapped his arms around all three of them.
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_n9ulumeMku1t5d5rao1_500_zpsc5882cf8.jpg]
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
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     Thoughts? :)
***** Epilogue *****
Chapter Notes
     This is it you guys! Please read the note at the end, it's very
     important. Enjoy! :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The weeks passed by surprisingly fast for everybody. Louis had gotten the job
and was to start the upcoming school year in august and since Anna could no
longer babysit both kids due to a new job in Manchester. He had no choice but
to put Evan in a daycare thankful that Logan could stay with him for the other
half of the day. He and Harry had decided on taking turns to pick him up hoping
that his separation anxiety would go away by the time Louis was to start
working or they'll be in big trouble.
 
After Niall and Zayn had officially announced the pregnancy everybody was
ecstatic and couldn't wait to meet the babies teasing Zayn about really
knocking him up laughing every time he would proudly nod always fawning over
Niall's bump that only kept getting bigger. Whenever he had time Niall would
spend it with Louis since he was the only one who could understand what he was
going through hating that it was too early into the pregnancy and he was
already too hormonal.
 
~*~
 
"Harry...the baby." Louis mumbled shaking Harry a bit when he heard Evan crying
through the monitor.
 
Instead of getting up like usual Harry only made himself more comfortable
throwing an arm around Louis bringing him closer to him nuzzling his face on
his neck while Evan screamed his lungs out and Louis tried to get up. While
Harry had the day off, Louis and Logan had to get up early to go to school for
their first days while Harry was supposed to stay with Evan then pick Logan up
at the end of her day.
 
He finally set himself free then walked upstairs picking Evan up who whimpered
once he was in Louis' arms, he changed his diaper and as soon as he put him
down he started crying again until Louis got tired and picked him up again
going back to his bedroom with him. He laid down on his back placing Evan's
head on top of his chest humming a lullaby until he fell asleep too tired to
put him in between Harry and himself. When his alarm woke him up at seven Evan
and Harry were no longer in bed but could smell the French toast and faintly
hear Harry talking to even telling him what he was cooking and how was he
making it hearing Evan babbling in response. With a smile on his face he got up
to get Logan and himself ready for the day.
 
"Good morning, morning sunshine." Louis kissed Harry's lips then Evan's
forehead before putting a still sleepy Logan on the chair where she started
eating her favorite food in the world.
 
"Morning! Are you actually awake bug?" Harry chuckled kissing the top of her
head taking a seat next to Evan's high chair.
 
"Daddy says I have the same class with Alex, Lux, and Tabitha but we don't have
Mrs. Teasdale anymore." Logan sadly said drinking her chocolate milk.
 
"But you have Mrs. Moore and she's really nice." Louis said making silly faces
at Evan.
 
"And she's pretty." Logan nodded.
 
"What are you two doing today?" Louis asked Harry.
 
"We are going shopping later today and then be lazy for the rest of the day.
Right Evan, we're gonna watch tv all day long in just our underwear...and
diaper." Harry reached to pull the hair out of his forehead kissing the tip of
his nose while the baby just stared with a blank expression.
 
"Calm down, don't get too excited." Harry chuckled.
 
"When is he going to walk?" Logan asked looking at her brother's chubby legs
then at Louis and Harry.
 
"When he's ready love, he's still too little." Louis automatically answered
already used to get random questions hearing her sighing.
 
"If you guys don't hurry up you're gonna be late." Harry looked at the clock
laughing when both Louis and Logan ate faster.
 
As soon as they were ready Louis kissed Harry then held Evan for a bit not
wanting to let him go just yet and when he did he was glad he didn't cry until
he got in the car and left. After Harry had cleaned the kitchen and done the
beds he changed Evan and himself out of their pajamas then packed Evan's diaper
bag leaving a few minutes later to shop for a new laptop after Logan had
spilled water on his old one then for groceries they needed.
 
It went easier than he thought smiling when all the women instead of flirting
with him would coo at Evan who was wearing a tiny grey fedora hat that Louis
just hated but Harry loved then they would tell him what a precious and
handsome baby he had. Later that day after picking Logan up they waited for
Louis until he got home telling Harry all about his day and how great his
students were. Harry absolutely loved seeing Louis smile finally doing what he
liked to do and was passionate about as he kept telling him he couldn't wait to
go back the next day.
 
After that day their routine consisted on both of them taking turns to get each
child ready then Harry would take Evan to drop him off at the daycare happy
that he didn't cry too fascinated with all the toys and other kids. He would
take him with him if he only had to do paperwork while Louis had Logan going
straight home after school was over or drive to the daycare to pick Evan up if
Harry wasn't done with work by then.
 
August and september passed by when Evan at already eleven months began to
stand up on his own but as soon as anyone would get close he would sit back
down again, giggle then crawl away as fast as he could sometimes hitting
himself on the head and would cry until Logan would cuddle him. Of course not
everything was rainbows and unicorns for them when Logan who had been jumping
on the trampoline Harry had gotten her even though Louis had not agreed to
buying it slipped and fell on the hard ground hearing a crack when she landed
on her wrist right under their noses.
 
Harry had immediately picked her up to see how badly injured her wrist was when
Louis left Evan sitting on the grass then snatched her away from his arms
completely pissed off at him as she cried. They argued the entire drive to the
hospital while Logan cried followed by Evan already overwhelmed with her cries.
A few hours later she was allowed to go home with a cast around her broken
wrist to help it heal and keep her from moving it.
 
That night Louis had slept away from Harry on his side of the bed with his back
to him until the middle of the night when he slowly moved to Harry's side after
trying to fall asleep but failing. He rested his head on Harry's chest throwing
an arm around him hoping for Harry to wake up smiling when Harry still asleep
wrapped his arms around him and moved around to be more comfortable. The next
day Louis was glad it was a Saturday and stayed in bed with Harry spooning him
until Logan walked in wanting to continue sleeping with them and minutes later
Harry left the room coming back with Evan.
 
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Louis mumbled against Logan's head trying to keep
her hand comfortable.
 
"You were just upset, don't worry about it." Harry said rubbing Evan's back
when he kept moving around on his chest trying to get comfortable.
 
"Don't do that Harry." Louis sighed lifting his head up to look at Harry.
 
"Do what?"
 
"Let me get away with things, just admit I was a jerk and I blamed you for
something that was out of your control." Louis reached for Harry's hand
intertwining their fingers together.
 
"Louis..." Harry sighed.
 
"Don't do that Harry. Admit that sometimes I'm a shitty person and I get
annoying, admit I'm a jerk when I yell at you for no reason."
 
"Okay fine, you were a jerk last night but it was my fault for leaving her
alone." Harry finally admitted it making Louis feel a bit better.
 
"I know I said it was your fault but it wasn't and I'm sorry, they're bound to
fall and get hurt at some point in their lives and we can't do anything about
it other than take care of them and make sure they're okay. Forgive me?" Louis
said leaning down to kiss Harry when he smiled.
 
"I love you angel." Harry mumbled still smiling.
 
"I love you too cookie." Louis smiled.
 
"Cookie? I thought I was sexy." Harry laughed.
 
"You're sexy only in special occasions, right now I want us to be cute so I
called you cookie."
 
"Okay...cutie." Harry said then gritted his teeth when Evan pulled on his hair.
 
Logan was still upset at having to wear a cast until with Louis' permission
Mrs. Moore suggested her classmates sign it and after school Logan proudly
showed her signed cast to her daddies.
 
~*~
 
The following weekend they were invited to Zayn and Niall's flat for the big
reveal of the twins gender and to spend time together, after making sure they
had everything they headed out taking forever to get ready. By the time they
got there Liam and Eleanor were already there and immediately everyone gave
their attention to Logan and Evan.
 
"Look at you cupcake, such a brave girl." Zayn picked her up kissing her cheek
letting a six month pregnant Niall kiss her cheek too.
 
"Are you feeling better?" Niall asked almost out of breath taking a seat on the
couch and rubbing circles on his huge belly.
 
"Yes. Do they kick like Bubbie?" Logan asked sitting next to Niall smiling when
he placed her hand on top of it feeling them kick a bit.
 
"They like to kick a lot, all the time." Niall smiled as Louis watched him
seeing just how happy he was.
 
"Are they boys too?" She asked again.
 
"That's what we wanted to talk about cupcake." Zayn said as he made grabby
hands at Evan who was in Eleanor's lap trying to reach for her hair.
 
"Please tell me there's a girl in there." Eleanor pleaded handing Evan to Zayn.
 
"And a boy." Niall smiled waiting for it.
 
"You mean one of each, a boy and a girl?" Eleanor squealed then flailed her
arms around when Niall nodded pouting when Liam gently grabbed them to stop
her.
 
"Congratulations! I bet Yaser and Bobby are extremely happy with the news. Have
you thought of any names yet?" Louis asked moving Evan's car seat over to the
side with his foot.
 
"After thinking it through for a whole day we decided on Jeremy Austin and
Chloe Elyssa, Zayn picked her name." Niall said feeling Zayn wrapping an arm
around his shoulder noticing Evan looking at his belly.
 
He smiled when the baby gave him a smile showing him his two tiny bottom front
teeth then lightly patted the top of his stomach babbling nonsense.
 
"Yeah, that's Jeremy and Chloe in there. They're gonna be your friends and
they're gonna play with you and your sister when they get older." Zayn cooed at
him kissing his temple.
 
"When are they due?" Liam asked as he exchanged silly faces with Logan and
Harry just smiled shaking his head running his fingers through Louis' hair.
 
"Around January. I want to keep them in as long as I can since its better for
them, I don't want them to be too premature." Niall said hoping to make it that
far.
 
"Three more months! Are you ready?" Harry asked.
 
"I think we are, we already set up the nursery and all we're doing is waiting."
Zayn smiled putting Evan down on the floor to let him crawl around.
 
They watched him crawl away and stop in front of the end table where he held
onto the edge and slowly got up with wobbly legs trying to reach for a piece of
candy that seemed to be everywhere since Niall had a craving for sweets and
once he had it secured in his hand he dropped back down on his bum ready to put
it in his mouth when Harry shot up from the couch quickly taking it away making
him cry.
 
He pouted looking up at Harry then cried louder looking at Louis until Harry
picked him up cradling him against his chest and as soon as he was next to
Louis he gave him his pacifier and teddy bear calming him down a bit as he
wrapped his arms around Harry's neck trying to climb his stomach with his tiny
feet until his knees were resting on his chest and his bum was sticking out
while Harry had his arm under it supporting his weight.
 
"That's the cutest thing I've ever seen! Let me take a picture." Niall gushed
smacking Zayn's arm to get his phone then took the picture quickly sending it
to Louis who smiled.
 
"He's such a cuddler, aren't you son? Harry cooed rubbing his back.
 
"I like to cuddle too daddy." Logan frowned getting up from the couch taking a
seat next to Harry feeling left out.
 
"You do and I love your cuddles." Harry smiled scooping her up too so she was
next to Evan careful not to hurt her wrist.
 
"That's cute too." Niall nodded to himself taking another picture of the three
of them then another with Louis included sending them to him after.
 
They left later that day after they signed Logan's cast and Zayn had drawn all
over using his impressive collection of Sharpies making it look colorful just
like the sleeve tattoo he had when Logan insisted she wanted to be like him and
who was Zayn to deny her that when his heart melted at the confession.
 
********
 
Halloween night Logan was excited to go trick-or-treating with Alex, Lux and
Tabitha wanting to take Evan too who was dressed up in a kitten costume,
whiskers and all drawn on his face but by the time it was time to go he had
fallen asleep in his playpen in the keeping room.
 
She was dressed up as an angel wearing a long white tunic complete with white
feathery wings, a harp and a halo over her head wearing her long hair down in
beautiful and perfectly styled curly waves making her look completely angelic.
Lux and Tabitha had chosen to dress up as Alice in wonderland and Cleopatra
while Alex was dressed as Hawkeye running around in Harry and Louis' driveway
shouting that he was going to protect the ladies and shoot bad guys with his
plastic arrows while Brian ran after him to keep him away from the road.
 
Harry along with Tom and Steven, Tabitha's dad, ran after their daughters when
they took off running to catch up to Alex while Louis stayed home with Lou,
David and Solange. They laughed remembering when Louis walked into the office
screaming at her then she covered her face chuckling and saying she was a bitch
back then but was glad they had given her and her family another chance because
her daughter had the best three friends anyone could ever ask for.
 
"I seriously admire her Louis, she has such a big and compassionate heart."
Solange quietly said not wanting to wake up Evan.
 
"What matters is that they're friends now and hopefully they will for many
years to come." Louis smiled.
 
"I hope those kiddos aren't giving them much trouble." Lou sighed.
 
"Four adults and four kids, I think they have it all under control." David
chuckled not knowing the chaos going on five houses down.
 
******
 
"Alexander Peterson, you get back here this instant or so help me God..." Brian
didn't get to finish his sentence when Alex rolled his eyes and ran back to him
while Harry struggled with Logan.
 
"Daddy it looks ugly, fix it." Logan whined hanging from Harry's legs as he
tried to lift his leg to keep walking and keep up with the other adults.
 
"Logan, I already told you it looks fine." Harry sighed pinching the bridge of
his nose.
 
She had accidentally knocked her halo off pulling her hair with it then after
Harry had tried to fix it leaving it a little off to the side and a few bumps
on her hair she had narrowed her eyes at him knowing it wasn't placed correctly
like Louis had done it.
 
"No, it's ugly!" Logan burst out crying taking the halo off and throwing it at
Harry's face who managed to catch it before it could hit him then pulled Logan
away from his leg grabbing her by the shoulders crouching down to her level as
she cried while Lux and Tabitha held hands watching with wide eyes.
 
"Do you want to go home? I have no problem taking you back if you don't behave
while your friends get more candy and you get none." Harry threatened trying
not to lose the last bit of patience he had left.
 
"No, daddy I don't want to go home!" Logan cried rubbing her left eye with her
fist.
 
"Then behave. You go around telling everyone you're a big girl so act like one
or I'm taking you back home." Harry said putting the halo back on her head as
best as he could.
 
"Okay...I'm sorry daddy." Logan hicupped letting him fix it then after he
kissed her forehead she ran to the other two girls getting in between them to
hold their hands just as Alex grabbed Lux's hand.
 
"I need to exercise more often." Brian commented still holding onto his chest.
 
"A few more houses and we go ba- Lux put that back where you found it...no
don't put it in your bag." Tom ran ahead to take it away from her seeing it was
a piece of candy still wrapped then got rid of it to keep other kids from
picking it up.
 
"Is Logan okay?" Steven asked keeping an eye on Tabitha who was skipping around
with the rest of the kids as Tom made his way back.
 
"Yeah, she just three a tantrum because she didn't liked the way I fixed her
halo." Harry shrugged following them to one of the houses where the nice old
lady Mrs. Smith gave them enough candy to fill their bags cooing at the kids
especially Logan who she was fond of as well as Evan.
 
"And where did you leave your brother, Miss. Logan?" Mrs. Smith asked as she
filled their bags with candy smiling as she did so already planning to turn off
all the lights and go to bed.
 
"Bubbie's sleeping in his cage 'cause he's still a baby and can't eat candy but
daddy Louis dressed him up as a kitty and he said hi." Logan babbled as Mrs.
Smith chuckled.
 
"Well, tell your Bubbie I said hi. Bye kiddos, have fun." Mrs. Smith smiled
waving at the four adults.
 
After going to two more houses they headed back home where as soon as they
walked through the door Louis put Evan in his crib closing the door to keep the
kids from waking him up taking the monitor with him to be able to hear him. He
had managed to change him into his pajamas and wipe off the whiskers Lou had
drawn with her eyeliner without waking him up considering it a success high
fiving Harry on their way back to the keeping room. As soon as the clock hit
10:30 Louis and Harry were passed out after the long day and spending time with
the other parents letting the kids have fun before bedtime.
 
~*~
 
Evan's first birthday got there faster than Louis would've liked and as he got
him ready for the small birthday party he and Harry had thrown for him he tried
to fight the urge of tearing up realizing his babies were growing way too fast
because according to him it hadn't even being that long since he had given
birth to Evan. He then sadly smiled looking at him as he chewed on the ear of
his teddy bear and smiled up at him not wanting to think about them as
rebellious teenagers missing curfew and doing all the stuff teenagers did and
instead picked his baby up kissing his forehead and walked down to the dining
room where everyone else was.
 
"Here's the birthday boy!" Louis cheered lightly bouncing him up and down as he
walked in through the door just as everybody shouted an enthusiastic happy
birthday.
 
He put him in his high chair at the head of the table placing a chocolate cake
with a single light blue candle in front of him then he and Logan stood next to
him on his right while Harry was ready to take hundreds of pictures until Gemma
held her hand out for it then lightly pushed him towards them once it was in
her hands. He stood next to him on his left quickly kissing the side of his
head before wrapping his arm around them while Louis hugged both kids, all four
smiled when Anne managed to make Evan look at the camera and smile then stared
at the candle after Louis light it up as everyone sang the happy birthday song
to him.
 
After they finished Logan helped him blow out the candle then hugged him
kissing all over his face until he decided he had had enough of her kissing and
pushed her away. He squirmed around wanting to get out of his chair then
started whining until Lottie picked him up.
 
"Look at you!" Jay chuckled when Lottie walked up to her with Evan seeing his
face covered in chocolate frosting then cleaned it up with a wet paper towel
Anne gave to her.
 
Logan ran around with the twins and her friends outside in the backyard
followed by Buttercup under Gemma and Ashton's careful watch finally without
her cast that had been removed a day before while Lottie and Felicite busied
themselves on trying to teach Evan how to walk praising him every time he would
take a few steps instead of letting himself fall forcing them to pick him up.
After his first ever birthday party was over and millions of pictures were
taken the whole family spent time together before going to bed then went home
the following afternoon.
 
~*~
 
Christmas was spent in Doncaster where Harry managed to give Louis the best
birthday sex without waking up his parents or the kids. He had Louis laying
down on his stomach with his face buried on the pillow and his own face on the
back of Louis' sweaty neck trying not to make much noise as he pounded into him
and all he could hear coming from Louis were the tiny breathy moans. Louis
surprised Harry when he propped himself up on his knees to give Harry more
access feeling him going deeper hitting his spot with every thrust just like he
liked it. It only took four more thrusts before Louis was coming all over the
towel they had placed underneath him and Harry into the condom deep inside of
Louis.
 
They dressed back into their pajamas then fell asleep cuddling together after
unlocking the door then woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes and
their kids being loud in the kitchen. After eating breakfast they opened their
Christmas presents then watched Christmas movies for the rest of the day
drinking hot chocolate and a few days later went home to spend new year's eve
with their friends.
 
~*~
 
"Daddy. Can you say daddy. Da-ddy." Harry repeated the word over and over again
as he fed his son sitting in front of him.
 
"Bababa!" Evan screamed clapping his hands waiting for another spoonful of baby
cereal.
 
"Daddy curly. Daddy daddy daddy daddy." Harry insisted chuckling when Evan only
stared then focused his attention on Louis and Logan when they walked into the
kitchen still wearing pajamas.
 
"He'll talk when he's ready babe." Louis said kissing the top of Harry's head
running his fingers through his hair that kept getting longer then turned to
Evan. "Can you say daddy Louis, or daddy Lou. Daddy Lou, daddy Lou."
 
"Hey...what happened to he'll talk when he's ready babe." Harry pouted putting
down the small bowl and spoon grabbing a napkin to clean Evan's mouth.
 
"I don't know what you're talking about." Louis raised his eyebrows as he fixed
their breakfast.
 
"I don't think he's going to say it anytime soon." Harry sighed getting up
taking the bowl and spoon to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher.
 
"Patience Harold." Louis said watching Logan standing in front of her brother's
high chair with his tiny hands on hers as she whispered to him surprised to see
Evan not making a noise.
 
"What are you two plotting, huh?" Harry crouched down next to Logan giving her
a kiss on the cheek.
 
"I'm teaching Bubbie to say my name." Logan informed him never taking her eyes
off of Evan.
 
"I don't think he will for a little while bug, he's still too little." Harry
smiled wanting to laugh when she looked at him with narrowed eyes.
 
"Logan, I'm Logan." She pointed to herself looking at the baby. "Logan loves
you Bubbie...want to play with Logan?" She asked kissing the tiny knuckles.
 
" 'Ogan." Evan almost whispered it surprising both Louis and Harry.
 
They looked at him then at her who smiled looking up at them raising her
eyebrows rather mockingly before she went back to only paying attention to
Evan. They listened to her telling him all the plans she had for the day to
spend time with him always referring to herself in third person smiling when
Evan would say her name over and over again reaching to lightly pat her cheeks
then giggle.
 
"He said Logan...can't say daddy but Logan is no problem for him." Louis said
as soon as Harry got up to stand next to him.
 
"How did she...I'm just gonna eat." Harry mumbled having his bowl to take it
back to the breakfast bar.
 
Logan spent the rest of the morning saying her name smiling every time Evan
would say it back then would look at her parents with a smug expression before
going back to what she was doing.
 
********
 
New year's eve was spent in Niall and Zayn's flat since an almost nine month
pregnant Niall couldn't move around much without tripping on his own feet.
Logan had given him three kisses, one on his cheek and two on his stomach for
each baby fascinated with the fact that he had two babies instead of one. All
she talked about was Chloe and all the pretty dresses, shoes, and bows Niall
had for her then turned around to Louis asking for a baby sister smiling when
Louis told her that maybe later when Evan was older, something that didn't go
unnoticed by everyone in the room especially Harry.
 
"Harry I think he's about to walk!" Louis shouted from the living room while
everyone except Niall and Logan were in the kitchen.
 
He wanted to laugh when he heard their loud footsteps and seconds later they
stood in the sidelines watching Evan's every move while Zayn had his phone out
recording everything. Louis was sitting on the couch ready to catch Evan who
was a few feet away from him standing up on his own looking at his sister
following her with his eyes when she got up and ran across the room to Liam
wanting him to pick her up.
 
Evan looked between Harry and Louis before taking a shaky step towards Louis
then a few more falling down on his hands and knees and instead of crying like
Louis expected he got up again and walked the last few steps to Louis who
caught him in his arms kissing all over his face. Evan was a giggling mess
bouncing up and down in Louis' arms just by hearing everyone cheering and
praising him then screamed Logan's name when she tickled his sides and kissed
him as everyone laughed at the fact that he could say Logan but not daddy.
Later that night Logan and Evan were asleep in Zayn and Niall's bed cuddling
each other while the adults waited for the new year counting down from ten
shouting happy new year sharing a kiss with their significant other.
 
~*~
 
Zayn's birthday was celebrated the same day and just when Louis had stepped
into his own house putting Evan down that ever since he had first walked now
loved to walk everywhere instead of letting them carry him and just loved to
chase after Logan. He watched him trying to run after her falling down and
getting up again while Harry walked behind him when his phone went off. He
answered it to hear a frantic Zayn telling him Niall had gone into labour then
heard Niall cussing Zayn out and after telling him everything was going to be
okay and that they'll be there the next day he rushed into the house to see
what his kids and the bigger kid were up to.
 
He found them downstairs in the playroom where Harry was sitting on the carpet
in the middle of the room while Logan tied his hair up into many pigtails
telling him how pretty he looked and Evan walked around in just a diaper and
tiny sneakers shoes holding his teddy bear and a Barbie sucking on his
pacifier.
 
"What's going on in here?" Louis asked picking up a sleepy Evan when he
clumsily walked up to him holding his hands up dropping the Barbie on his way
up.
 
"Makeover." Harry shrugged passing a bow of his choice to Logan who thanked
him.
 
"Okay...Zayn called to let us know Niall's in labour and now that I think about
it he'll probably share his birthday with the twins." Louis walked around
picking up Evan's clothes to dress him up again.
 
"Daddy what's labour?" Logan asked brushing Harry's hair frowning when she
found a knot.
 
"Labour is what we call it when someone's gonna have a baby." Louis explained.
 
"Uncle Niall's having the babies now?" She asked already excited to hold Chloe.
 
"Yup, and we're gonna go see them tomorrow." Louis smiled.
 
"How's Niall doing? Is Zayn okay?" Harry asked.
 
"He said they're doing fine." Louis answered looking around for Evan's pants.
 
"Daddies, I want ice cream." Logan sighed finishing what she was doing then
climbed on Harry's lap wanting a cuddle that Harry happily gave.
 
"Okay but just a bit." Harry got up with her in his arms.
 
"Daheys." Evan mumbled making both parents stop what they were doing.
 
"He said daddies, please tell me he said daddies." Harry rushed over to them
looking down at Evan laying on the couch sucking on his thumb.
 
"He said daddies...can we go get ice cream now?" Logan sighed just wanting her
ice cream.
 
"Daheys!" Evan said it louder trying to get up whining when Louis picked him up
and was hugged by all three of them jumping around in a circle.
 
The next day after school they made their way through the hospital hallways and
knocked on Niall's room hearing Zayn's voice telling them to come in. They were
greeted by a happy and tired Niall and Zayn as well as two quiet babies wrapped
in a blue and pink blanket. Louis gave Evan to Harry then hugged the new happy
parents congratulating them before walking to the plastic bassinets.
 
"Look at them, they're precious." Louis gushed looking down at the two sleeping
babies.
 
"They take after Zayn but he won't believe me." Niall said nodding when Louis
asked if he could hold them watching as he picked Chloe up.
 
"They definitely do...and look, hair as dark as Zayn's." Louis said putting her
hat back on doing the same with Jeremy.
 
"Uncle Niall, can I hold her?" Logan shyly asked them walked up to Louis when
Niall nodded.
 
She held Chloe longer than Jeremy before giving him back then went to sit by
Harry and Evan as Louis insisted that they looked like Zayn telling him they
had almost gotten his skin color but were close to it, had the same lips and
hair color gasping in surprise when they opened their eyes for a brief moment
revealing a bright blue.
 
"Did Eleanor came to meet them?" Louis asked grabbing Evan.
 
"Yeah, she was here earlier today with Liam. She was so excited...even more
when she found out they share a birthday with Zayn." Niall smiled looking at
the pink and blue balloons and flowers that had multiplied with the one's Louis
and Harry had given him.
 
"Best birthday ever." Zayn smiled.
 
After staying for more than an hour and Zayn had made arrangements with Harry
to photograph the twins they said their goodbyes telling them they would see
them later then went back home and cuddled together in bed watching a movie of
Logan's choice letting them sleep with them when they didn't had the heart to
move them. They were cuddled up next to each other and Harry couldn't resist
taking a picture when Evan threw his leg over Logan and after he took it and
had put away his camera he turned off the light and settled down in bed
throwing an arm over their kids holding Louis' hand never wanting to let go.
 
"I love you Lou." Harry mumbled lifting his head up just when Louis did
surprised when Louis kissed him.
 
"I love you more." Louis murmured against Harry's lips smiling when Harry
lovingly caressed his cheek with his thumb bringing their foreheads together
then after another gentle kiss they pulled apart laying back down on their
spots close together.
 
Louis stared at the ceiling then the biggest smile appeared on his face
thinking he couldn't ask for more because he had it all, he quickly glanced at
Logan and Evan grateful to have them but at the same time he knew he wanted to
have more kids someday in the future.
 
Two years ago he was used to walking around feeling empty with only Logan as
his sun and stars doing it all for her careful not to break down even more at
any given moment. Now that he had two children depending on him and Harry who
love him and had loved him ever since they were children themselves even though
he had been the one to break him in the first place he was now happy with
everything he had.
 
Harry had been his downfall almost seven years ago but with time he had shown
him he regretted every single thing he had done and said to him, had shown him
he truly and unconditionally loved him, still does and would always do no
matter what. Harry and their children were the reason he smiled everyday, the
reason he loved his life surrounded by laughs, hugs and kisses. He turned
around on his side wrapping his arm around them content and relieved that Harry
had managed to sneak back into his life and had never stopped trying even after
he tried to push him away so many times.
 
Now all he wanted was to be by his side and love the person he used to think
would always be just a ghost of his past, someone he knew he had to forget but
never found the will to do so. He wanted everything with him for the rest of
his life and now that he had it he would always hold on to it with all his
heart. Their love only grew stronger everyday with each day spent together and
the many gentle touches and I love you's shared between them and if Louis was
honest he would tell you he wouldn't have it any other way.
 
The End
Chapter End Notes

     [ photo tumblr_nabxpyOMtp1s44a1qo1_500_zps41f3cb0e.png]
     Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/
     tumblr_nabxpyOMtp1s44a1qo1_500_zps41f3cb0e.png
     So it's over. I hope you guys liked it...I gotta admit I teared up
     cause this story is my baby and now it's over. I want to thank every
     single one of you for reading, leaving cuddles and commenting in this
     story even though it would take me forever to update.
     A few things you guys should know. There will be two prequels and a
     sequel all one shots that I will be posting in this same book. I
     don't know when because I have a million one shots to finish but I
     will at some point.
     Things you should know about this fic,
     1. Evan wasn't meant to exist but I changed my mind and added him.
     2. This fic wasn't meant to have a happy ending and I thought of two
     different endings for it through out the story.
     A. Logan was supposed to be diagnosed with leukemia and Harry was
     going to be a donor to save her, during what was supposed to be a
     simple surgery his heart was going to fail and he was supposed to
     die. Louis was supposed to forgive him at the end during his funeral
     and move on with his life always loving Harry and always telling a
     now cancer free Logan about him.
     B. Everything that happened except that at the end Louis was supposed
     to wake up in a mental hospital realizing it had all been a dream in
     a moment of clarity. He finds out Harry did killed himself but not
     during Logan's birth but before and that he did lost Logan after
     drinking that tea. He was devastated by it that he went back looking
     for Harry wanting another baby finding out Harry killed himself. He
     goes crazy and makes up the story you guys read and the reason Logan
     looks so much like Harry is because he made it out to be that way.
     The end was supposed to be Jay crying and watching him rocking a rag
     doll humming a lullaby then would turn to an imaginary Harry asking
     him, "Isn't she beautiful, Harry?" and in his mind Harry was supposed
     to answer "She's gorgeous Lou." and Louis would smile at him.
     Horrible, I know. But I wanted to give you a happy ending because I
     thought it wouldn't be fair for you guys and that ending is the real
     ending. Thank you so much for reading guys.
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