Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/39060. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: Multi Fandom: Smallville, CSI, Spiderman_-_Fandom, Batman_-_Fandom Relationship: Lex/OC, Lex/Bruce, Lex/Helen, Lex/Victoria, Lex/Desiree Character: Lex_Luthor, Bruce_Wayne, Gil_Grissom, Clark_Kent, Harry_Osborn, Lionel Luthror, Lilian_Luthor Stats: Published: 2006-08-19 Words: 2781 ****** Fractured ****** by annakas Summary A fractured Lex is still a functioning Lex. The first time Lex had sex was not a pleasant experience he cared to remember at all. The day had been bright and perfect for a walk in the park. Pamela was sick and couldn't bring him out so Lex went with the new nanny Melinda. She was young and bright, if a little bit inexperienced in looking after children. Probably his fathers current mistress. Lex didn't mind her. Which was a first from his fathers lovers. She respected Lex and didn't rub it in that his father was cheating Lilian with her. Melinda liked history and she could tell Lex stories that held him captivated for hours. Lex was sad to see her die. It all happened so fast. One moment Melinda was talking about the splendours of Babylon and the next she was down on the grass twitching and blood coming out of her in a rapid flow. Lex himself being carried away, a hand on his mouth so that he couldn't scream. Lex remembers her eyes terrified and then empty like something had left the body. The twitching had stopped too and before he could register it Lex was in a van, strangely smelling cloth was pressed in to his face and everything became blurry. He also remembers drinking cherry juice, only not because it tasted wrong. And then everything became even more hazy. Like he was out of his body, his mind observing and yet not. Floating or eternally falling. He was not sure. Everything felt wrong. There was a car ride Lex is sure of it. And then there was a big bed. The smell of cherries. He doesn't remember much of what happened but what he does remember he wishes he didn't. There were hands in his hair and something choking him. Pushing in and out. He wanted to bit the thing but his body didn't fallow the command. He didn't have the strength. Hands in his hair and a voice crooning: "Just like that Red. Just like that." Someone was petting his hair. He thinks there were flashes of light but he wasn't sure anymore. Then everything was a blur again. Until pain he hadn't felt before cleared the haze from his mind. He wished it hadn't. He was on his stomach, face on a pillow. Hands in his hair, forcing him down. He couldn't breathe he couldn't move. The same voice from before crooning again : "Such a sweet boy. So tight. Good Red." And the flashes and the smell of cherries. Lex wished the haze would come back and it did. He was floating in the ceiling or falling eternally again. Lex is not sure what happened after that. There was shouting. Next thing he knew he had woken up and was in a hospital bed. A nurse was there and a man. They asked questions he didn't want to think about. Everything still felt kind of far away but not like before. He wasn't hazy anymore just tired. They asked his name he answered. The man was named Gil and he knew a lot about bugs. Lex liked his eyes. They were kind. But he didn't like his questions so they talked about tarantulas instead. Then his father was there with his frail looking mother and Pamela. She was crying and so he cried too. His father looked angry but not at him, which was very nice for a change. He felt safe now. There was shouting about evidence and courts and suing and no courts and the law. Something about photos his father wanted destroyed. Then there was silence since a nurse reminded his father and Gil that it was a hospital. Then he slept. In a week he was released home. Lex has no idea how he got from Metropolis to Las Vegas. So they had to take a plane. Lex hated his hair after that. He couldn't look at the mirrors because he would see the bright red hair and every time he saw that he could hear a far away crooning voice telling - good boy, just like that Red, just like that. And he would feel hands that weren't there. So Lex didn't look in to the mirrors anymore. He learned that Melinda was dead in his return. He asked Pamela to bring him to her grave. So they went. He took yellow roses with him as a sign of friendship and farewell. Melinda had liked roses. They looked beautiful beside the stone with her name on it. In the fallowing weeks his father wanted him close. Lex felt smothered but safe and comforted in a terrified way too. He knew there should be a court thing going on. He understood that much from the overheard conversations his father had on the phone. He knew the police wanted to ask a statement from him but nobody came for it so Lex didn't think about it anymore. They acted like nothing had happened and sometimes Lex felt like that too. Like it all was a bad dream that vanishes when one wakes up. But then something would happen and remind him that it wasn't a dream and that it had happened. He can't stand the sight of cherries anymore too, or the smell of them, or the taste. He doesn't like to think about the reason. So when a month later the sky falls down on him and he loses all his red hair it feels like a wish come true in a disturbing twisted way. He was scared when the heaven was on fire but somehow it hadn't felt as terrifying as what happened over a month ago. Melinda twitching on the grass with blood all around her and that crooning voice with the smell of cherries was far more scary. His mother cried when she saw him again. Held him on her breast and repeated the words "my poor baby" over and over again. Lex didn't mind the loss of his hair. To be honest he was relieved he could look in the mirror again without having the urge to smash the thing in or throw up. He did mind all the prodding and poking he had to go through after the meteor shower though. He was in a hospital for over two months. They had to plant him new eyebrows and eyelashes. Also a woman named Heidi visited her trice a week. She was his therapist. To get over losing his hair and what happened before. His father was against it but his mother overruled it with Pamela as her backup. Lex was glad over it. Talking to Heidi helped. School was new kind of hell after that but Lex was a true Luthor and fought back, things got better soon after. He met Bruce and Harry there. Good, he wasn't the only freak. Life was looking up. Until Julian's death that is. He went slightly mad after that. So his father sought out Heidi. It was good to see her again and talk to her. Things got a little better after that, but his father was colder than before. Like he hated Lex for something. The second time Lex had sex was with Bruce. His roommate in Excelsior prep school, best friend and secret boyfriend. It didn't hurt. It was really good to be honest. Bruce knew what he was doing and soon Lex knew too. Lex was happy again. Until Bruce's disappearance that is. Most people thought that the Wayne heir was dead. Lex refused to believe that. Bruce was too clever for that. Having Harry there for comfort was a big help. The third time Lex had sex was with Vicky. His first woman. It was different than with a man but still damn good. Nothing serious just two good friends relieving some stress and offering comfort. Lex finds it weird how he has such a playboy reputation. True he liked to club and dance. Drinking and drugs were not far either. It was so easy to cook up some quality stuff when one was a chemistry genius. He even had a damn lab. But Lex didn't sleep around. He couldn't, the thought of some stranger touching him. Crooning to him was disgusting. Friends yes, but complete strangers picked up from a club no. Lex just liked to dance and drink and do a little bit of drugs. Then he met Amanda. She was so refreshing. She reminded him of Melinda a little bit. Amanda made him want to change himself. Not to drink again, not to do drugs. But she didn't have any eyes for him only for her cheating bastard of a fiancé. Lex had a plan how to deal with that but things went so wrong and he had to forget Amanda. For her own protection. And then he was banished to Smallville. He met Clark. Sweet innocent Clark. Lex missed Bruce like hell. But Bruce was still missing. It had been years. He was starting to lose hope. Lex missed Harry too but he knew Harry was busy with leading his fathers company after the senior's death. Lex could get Vicky at least until things went wrong and she tried to double cross him and he had to destroy her for it. So Clark remained. He looked a little bit like Bruce. Lex wanted to fuck him. But didn't. He knew that Clark was a virgin and he didn't want to taint the farm boy with his touch. It was nice to see someone get the chance to do something that was taken away from himself. So Lex tried to help Clark to win over Lana. It was nice to have a friend again. The fourth person Lex had sex with was Desiree. Lex can say the word now. He couldn't say it before. Rape. He was raped again. He was not sure which one was worse. The drugged haze and pain of the first or the drugged mind and pleasure of the second. Both fucked him up equally. He is amazed that he is still sane. So when he meets Helen he grabs at the chance to have some normality. Smallville definitely is not full of it, as he has seen. And Bruce is gone. He has to accept it. Things go almost smoothly. It is nice to have something ordinary in his life. A marriage to keep him stable is just what he needs. And then things go wrong. He can't pretend to be surprised really. Being on a deserted island was a new experience. Lex had a lot of time to think. He doesn't want to repeat the experience. He had a lot of time to remember too. For some reason he remembered Gil the guy who knew a lot about bugs. Lex wishes he had learnt more about bugs himself. It would be nice to know which kind were eatable and which not. When he finds a lonesome cherry tree on the island he throws up the little food he had scourged and then laughs hysterically. The tree is mocking him he is sure of it. But he refuses to eat the red ripe cherries. He'll starve first. He wishes he had an axe so he could cut the tree down. That night he dreams about a voice crooning in his ear "good boy, sweet boy" and the smell of cherries and the taste of his tears. He is floating in the air and falling eternally and the colour of red is everywhere. When he wakes up he is shivering and he can't seem to stop it. He is constantly hungry but he doesn't touch the cherries. He remembers Julian and the night he died. Not all of it but enough to know he doesn't remember something important about that time. He wishes he could. He misses Bruce like he has never missed him before. He hopes that Bruce is not in some deserted island playing survivor like he is. Though it would be nice to have company. Bruce always took such a good care of him. He wishes he was crazy. Then at least he wouldn't feel the deep need for companionship. The voices in his head would do nicely and he could eat the damn cherries without any remorse. He has made a decision. If he ever gets back home he will search out the files of what happened. He wants the man who made him hate cherries pay. Perhaps he will even search out Gil the bug guy. When the rescuers come the final thing he does before leaving the cursed island is to but the damn tree on fire. It burns so beautifully. Feels like revenge. Only empty. The damn tree is mocking him even in it's death. It feels weird to be back in Smallville. The first thing he does is to call Mike and ask him to find out everything he can from the day Melinda died and afterwards. The persons who were responsible had to pay. The files are there the next morning. Far sooner than he expected. He wasn't prepared for that, or for what was in them. An autopsy report. Pictures of Melinda with her throat slit laying on a slab with her eyes open and empty. A missing person report of him. A police report of finding him. An arrest report of one Keith Smith. Court reports. A long list of charges. Found guilty. In prison for life. Lex wasn't the first one but he was the last one to suffer by that mans hands. Never fuck with a Luhtor. And then there were pictures. Of him. Still with his fiery red hair. Eyes glassy. Laying on a bed. That man doing things to him. Lex threw up. Burned the pictures. Burned the negatives. Burned the files. He felt empty. He called Mike ordered the man to be taken care of. Mike couldn't do it, apparently his father had already taken care of it years ago. Lex was glad. Daddy loved him. He wanted to die. Then he drank Absolut but still nothing could get the taste of cherries out of his mouth or the voice grooning "good boy, sweet boy, so good Red" out of his head. He needed relief. Where was Bruce? At least one of his wishes from the island came true. Better late than never. No Bruce in sight but at least Belle Reve was ready and waiting. Being crazy was not as nice as Lex thought it would be. He wanted out of there. Clark was not coming, the bastard. Who needed enemies with friends like these, or with a family such as he had. His brain was going to get fried. Damn it. His beautiful genius of a brain was going to get scrambled, his best commodity. Fractured even more than before. Life was unfair. And then Bruce was there. Petting him. Saying things like don't worry and everything will be alright now. Lex didn't believe him. This Bruce was just a figment of his imagination. A voice in his head. "Sleep Lex" the voice said. What a splendid idea. So Lex slept. When he woke up he wasn't in Belle Reve anymore. The bed was soft and far too good to be a cheap bunk he had slept on recently. Someone was holding his hand. It was Bruce, he looked older but still as good as before. Even better to be honest. Mature. "You are real." "Yes" "You came" "Yes" "You are back." "Yes" "For Good?" "Yes" "Can you say anything beside yes?" "Yes" and then laughter. It was beautiful. Lex wanted to know. Lex needed to know. "How long was I there?" he asked sofly. And Bruce answered: "A year" "How long have you been back?" was the next question. "Nine months" was the reply "You took your time" Lex was not sure what he wanted to say with the last sentence. If Bruce took too long to come back from his sojourn or if he took too long to spring Lex free from Belle Reve after coming back. Apparently Bruce didn't know either. He just shrugged. It didn't matter anymore. Bruce was back and Lex was free. And then they were kissing and doing even more. Lex smiled. Things were looking up. He would have the time to learn all he needed to learn about how Bruce got him out, his father, Clark, the last year, the years Bruce was gone, his company. Right now he just needed to welcome Bruce back and enjoy being free again. Life was good. With Bruce by his side he could do anything. He was right. And they did. Fin Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!