Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/516319. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/M, Multi Fandom: Tenkuu_no_Escaflowne_|_The_Vision_of_Escaflowne Relationship: Dryden_Fassa/Millerna_Sarah_Aston, Allen_Schezar/Eries_Aston/Gaddes, Van Fanel/Merle, Serena_Schezar/OMC Character: Dryden_Fassa, Millerna_Sarah_Aston, Merle_(Escaflowne), Meiden_Fassa, Allen_Schezar, Van_Fanel, Gaddes, Eries_Aston, Serena_Schezar Additional Tags: rodents_of_unusual_size, Tarot, Pirates, Unrequited_Love, Friendship/ Love, Princes_&_Princesses, Illustrated, Fanart, Arranged_Marriage, Explicit_Sexual_Content Stats: Published: 2012-09-19 Completed: 2012-09-23 Chapters: 14/14 Words: 41926 ****** Four Minutes ****** by Didodikali Summary An illustrated Escaflowne fanfic, written way back in 2001. Chapters 1 through 5 are set simultaneous with the TV show, 6 through 14 are set after the show ends. Rotating narrators, mostly Dryden and Millerna, but with Allen, Eries, and Van cameos.   [http://i.imgur.com/KdrEApc.gif] ***** Unseasonable Weather ***** First Card Unseasonable Weather Card Zero: A young man steps off a cliff... My father had this plan to marry me off to the youngest Asturian princess, which I thought was a stupid idea, but since my mother also approved of the idea I went to go meet Millerna. [Fanfiction Escaflowne Fanart Wallpaper Romance Continuation Lemon] "But Ma, she's only a little kid." "Go!" "I'm going. I'm going." It was... um... well, she was really, really cute. I told my father to go ahead with his plans to convince the King that I was a good match for her. Knowing my father's subtle machinations, I assumed that though it might take a while to convince the King, that Millerna was as good as my betrothed already. [http://i.imgur.com/SjaDH3Y.gif] So it was that when I saw Millerna for the second time, I completely forgot about the folder of legal briefs that I was at the palace to deliver, and I stood there like an idiot, blushing my fool head off and watching her run up and down the hall with a bunch of other little girls. I was hoping that she would recognize me from the last time. I wanted to talk to her, but in front of all those other people I didn't know what to say. My father eventually came out of the meeting rooms looking for me, or rather, looking for the papers in my hand, and he saw me still standing there. That moment right there would be why he sent me away. For I was sixteen years old and though shy, full of penny-bright passions. And Millerna, though she was beautiful even then, she was only eleven. My father came over to me and he slapped me so hard that I fell to the ground. "Go," he said to me, "and learn patience. And perhaps wisdom will follow." [http://i.imgur.com/SjaDH3Y.gif] I went. I learned as much as I could, but possibly... not enough. ***** A Letter to the King ***** Card Two A letter to the King The Page of Cups [http://i.imgur.com/zVSl3iK.gif] Greetings to his Most Royal Majesty of Asturia from your servant, Adrian. As ordered, I arrived on the southern coast to meet with your prospective son- in-law, Dryden Fassa. I was met at the port by his personal assistant, Mr. Rat, who sent my luggage on and then brought me into the city to meet the young Fassa who on his way to seal a deal. Dryden greeted me pleasantly, but his appearance quite shocked me. In truth I suppose his dress and aspect was just like all the other merchants in the city, but his personal assistant didn't think so. Mr. Rat had carried a sword down to the city for his master to wear at the business meeting, but Dryden wouldn't take it. "For the last time, Rat, I don't want a sword. I don't need a sword!" "Yes, you do!" insisted Mr. Rat. "No, I don't. Get rid of it." "But, boss, I'm only trying to help. You aren't going to make me lug this thing all around town like last time, are you? It's heavy and it's too hot!" "YOU brought it here!" "But it'd be cruel torture to make me carry it back! And I brought a witness this time," said Mr. Rat and he pointed at me. Dryden looked at me, shrugged and took the sword. "Oh, fine. But don't do this again." "But all the other merchants carry them. It's an image thing." "Maybe they're ALL overcompensating! Like you! And they do not." "What would I have to compensate for? I am a magnificent example of my race." "...um. Ooookay. If you say so." "Boss. You and a short pier." "Yeah, yeah." They argued like this all the way to the office of the man that they... bought a mermaid from. "What are you going to do with a mermaid, boss?" "You'll see." I took the opportunity to photograph Dryden when I could over the next several days, but I was most discouraged by the results. I have enclosed the least offensive of the photos, in which he at least has a pleasant expression and is wearing clothes. Still, he looks an absolute heathen. Despite his looks, I found him a gracious host full of cheerful good humour. He took me with him on his airship to take delivery of the mermaid and afterwards, as I spent a few days with him, I was allowed to see him engaged in other business. He seems to be very skilled and enthusiastic; he certainly does make money hand over fist, so perhaps he has inherited some of the other talents of his parents that you said you were hoping for. His employees happily obey him, his vendors and buyers admire him or fear him (or both) . He would make a great king and possibly a pleasant husband. I say possiblya pleasant husband merely because he is not very ...Asturian. He scorns Asturian style of dress and he's exceedingly forthright, blunt and opinionated. He seems to have traded chivalry for practicality, which may not charm Millerna. However he was very taken with the miniature painting of the Princess set into the lid of the pocketwatch that you sent to him through me. He wore it ever after I gave it to him and looked at it often... and not for the time. When I asked him if he would be able to return to Asturia to marry Millerna in a few months, he was surprised -(I surmise he had been prepared to wait until she was eighteen)- but delighted. [http://i.imgur.com/jUwlrUe.gif] Desperate to get you a usable picture, the next day I asked him if he would dress up for me so that I could take his picture for Millerna. He was amenable and went below deck for awhile. When he came back up I was hard pressed to see any difference at first- he still looked like a pirate. His definition of 'dressed up' included a clean shirt, but without a collar, and the same waistcoat I'd seen on him the first day. ( I later heard that was his 'lucky' waistcoat.) He had shaved (and this was the only time I saw him so the whole time I was there) and taken down his hair. He still wore the sash and the habayah over his trousers, too. I took his picture anyway and then asked him, "So you don't have any Asturian clothes?" "Nope. Outgrew them all years ago. I suppose I could get some when I return, though." "Mmm." I tried to imagine him in puffy sleeves and failed. As I looked at him, I realized he'd also swapped the sunglasses he'd been wearing for another pair of glasses whose lack of tint made their strong prescription more obvious. "May I get a picture of you without the glasses?" I said. He took them off, but his smile had disappeared. "Um. You said you were going to engage an artist to make a painting of me. If you give Millerna a picture of me in Asturian clothing and without glasses and with who knows what other changes, she's going to be real disappointed when she actually meets me. ...Or are you thinking she's gonna be disappointed anyway?" I temporized and told him that I had no intentions of misrepresenting him. Considering the poker face he presented me with then, I'm not sure he believed me. This was confirmed when he pressed the point. "Why a painting anyway? Why not just give her the photos?" "That's just not the way royalty do things." He rolled his eyes at me then and went back to work. I am sorry, sir. I think this errand may have rated a diplomat, rather than a photographer. I spent the afternoon taking pictures of the ship and the mermaid. Actually I decided not to photograph the mermaid. She was completely intractable. I finally caught up with Dryden later that evening. He greeted me cordially and then began to pump me for information. I managed not to tell him why you wanted Millerna married off sooner than planned, barely. He tried another tack. "You know her, right? Do you think she'll like me?" "I think you are very likable, sir." "...Uh-huh. Yeah. But I'm to marry her, not you. Will SHE like me?" "I think she will." "You do? Why?" "Er. You're eminently marriageable, sir." "...And you're not answering my question. ...Aw, shit. I'm not her type at all, am I?" "I shouldn't think that, sir." "So what is it? She's in love with someone else?" "Sir!" I feigned shock as best as I could, but how awful that his wild guesses should be dead accurate. "I suppose I'll just have to wait and see what happens." He was staring at me closely throughout this whole conversation, and I'm sorry to say that he seems to be a better reader of people than I am a liar. [http://i.imgur.com/jUwlrUe.gif] The next morning the ship was in a tizzy and I fought my way through running people to find Dryden at his desk. "What's going on?" I asked him. "I think it's time for me to return home. I making arrangements with my lieutenants. You are welcome to travel back with me if you wish. I ought to be ready to go in a week. Just a few things still left to tie up here." "I think I should leave on schedule as my King requested." Which meant I was leaving today. He gave me a level look. "Gonna warn them, huh?" I played dumb. "Sir?" "Oh, nevermind." "Are you sure your business will be all right without you?" "My people know how I like things done. They've worked for me for years and I trust their work. On the other hand, I'm not keen to let other people do my loving for me. I'm going back." So there it is. The young Fassa is returning, but earlier than expected. My King, if things do not go well because of this, I can only offer my humblest apologies. This letter ought to get to you a few days before I do. As the gods will, may things be well. Your most humble servant, Adrian. ***** A Kiss is just a kiss ***** Card Three A kiss is just a kiss The Knight of Wands So what do you think? Fate or wild coincidence? Bad, bad luck? When Millerna showed up alone on my ship wanting to talk with me- (Oh! And she was beautiful! Even more enchanting than I'd imagined!) -I'd thought that meant she was just as excited to meet me as I was to meet her, but noooooooooo.   All she wanted was to ask if I knew anything about Ispano Guymelefs. I had read about them, but never seen one, so I followed her over to the other ship, the Crusade. And then I got to meet... Allen. ...Oi. And then I met everybody else and the injured King of Fanelia and his Guymelef, Escaflowne. I poked a button in Escaflowne which called the Ispano factory ship. Fifty million dollars was what they quoted. That's tech support for ya. No one there had that kind of money, so I gave them my fleet- (Allow me to repeat that. I gave them my FLEET!) -and the Ispano people fixed Escaflowne. Van recovered, but Millerna was not the least bit impressed with me. And somehow every conversation I had with her seemed to go badly. Really badly. I thought I'd try to make another contribution to the adventure by untangling all the Atlantis connections. Millerna got me Allen's father's final log and I started translating it. And then we all set off together to go visit the Mystic Valley. ...Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Oh, man. What was I thinking?!   Well, maybe it wasn't an idiotic idea after all. We spent days together on that ship. We all ate together. I got to spend time with her. I got to talk to her more. She didn't much seem to care to hear about my scholarly pursuits, so I asked her about her interests. She was studying to be a doctor! I thought this was great and so I asked her all about it and she was delighted to talk to me about it. For hours.   Wow. I might actually get somewhere if I could just manage to shut up. I'd brought a locked case of antique books with me and left them in the ship's library. One of them was an Atlantean medical book. It was in Atlantean, but I'd already translated half of it and it was filled with fabulously interesting diagrams, or I figured they would be to her. So I told her about it and asked her if she wanted to see it, if she could maybe check my translation, since I'd had to take my best guess for some of the more imponderable medical words. She came below deck to the library with me and I gave her the book and sat next to her while she looked through it. Oh, it was wonderful! She squealed over it and asked me question after question and I scooted closer to her and she didn't seem to mind at all.   And then- (Here would be the part where I was an idiot.) -then I slipped my arm around her and pulled her to me and kissed her.   She screamed and jumped up and ran out of the room. I guess I sat there for a moment in shock. Then I jumped up and ran after her.   I didn't get far because Allen- (remember Allen?) -had heard Millerna's cry and had come charging in to her rescue. Oh, joy. He chewed me out but good.   When he ran down a bit, I said, "How about you ease off on the threats, Allen. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I made a mistake. That was the first time I've ever tried to kiss someone and that was NOT how I wanted it to go. I don't know what happened." "The first time?" Allen looked at me incredulously. Well, it was the first time. I don't think that through aquarium glass counts. "I've been betrothed to Millerna since I was sixteen, so I never... uh." Eeeeg. I didn't want to be telling him this. "...Oh. Well. You went too fast," said Allen. "Too fast?" "Was she looking into your eyes and leaning towards you?" he asked me. "Uh... ...no." "Then you shouldn't have kissed her," he said. "Oh." "Well, it's possible to get away with stealing a kiss... sometimes." "How?" "You went for the lips, didn't you? Yeah. Don't do that. If you're going to steal, go for the cheek. Or at least warn her that you're going to kiss her. You end up getting slapped a whole lot less." "She didn't slap me. She just screamed and ran. ...Dare I ask how you know all this?" He gave me an insouciant shrug and didn't answer. "You get better kisses if you wait until she looks like she wants one." "How do I make her want a kiss?" I asked. He blathered out a whole lot of useless romantic gobbledygook then, but I sort of managed to glean a bit sense out of it.   I said, "Okay. So you're saying that I'm trying hardsell, when I should be trying softsell. Hmm." "Uh. Yeah. I guess that's one way of putting it. I'm amazed that you have no problem hearing this from me." "I've been so successful in business because I learned from and copied the best traders in the world. It parallels. Clearly I know shit about women, but you seem to have a clue and then some. Why shouldn't I listen to you?" "Learn from the competition, huh?" Allen smiled. "Oh. Are you the competition? Thanks for the heads up." "Er. ...I didn't mean... Uh." "Yuh-huh. So now that I've scared her off, what do I do?" "You can try apologizing, but I dunno. Once a woman has decided she doesn't like you, it's difficult to change her mind." "Oh." I didn't think Allen was lying to me. So often bad news that has that ring of truth to it. Damn. [http://i.imgur.com/SjaDH3Y.gif] "What's with you?" Mr. Rat didn't actually look like he cared, but I answered him. "Millerna. I tried to kiss her and I scared her off." "Oh. Well, leave her alone for a while." "Allen said I should apologize." "Oh, well, that, too. You gonna let me work or what?" "Don't you care?" "She's not my type."   "...What's your type?" I asked him. He seemed to be in such a bad mood, I thought I'd humour him. "Green eyes and whiskers." "Eeew! That describes me!" Mr. Rat growled and elucidated. "Green eyes, whiskers, curly tail, long black hair, female, shorter than me. A drop dead gorgeous mousegirl." "Ah. Haven't seen anyone like that around." "Me, either. Too bad, huh?" "...You ever accidentally scared off a mousegirl?" "Yup." I thought I may as well take a poll. I said, "What did you do then?" "Tried again with a different girl," said Mr. Rat. "A different girl!? But Millerna is my fiancé!" "Boss, it's not set in stone. It's not even set on paper. And a verbal agreement is worth what?" "Yeah, yeah. The paper it's not printed on. I got nothin' here, huh?" "Sorry, Boss. I don't think she likes you." "Are you sure you're not just pissed 'cause I gave away the fleet?" "I'm pissed, she don't like you, AND I don't know WHY you like her!" "What's not to like? She's brilliant! She's studying to be a doctor. We were getting along great until I- I- ...Aaaaaaaagh! ...So leave her alone for a while, you think?" "I hear her sister, Eries, is real pretty." "Oh, man! That is NOT what I want to hear!" "Sorry, my job description does not include blowing smoke up your-" "Hey!" "Eighty million dollar fleet for a fifty million dollar repair bill! You could have at least asked for change!" Ah. This was why he was so upset. I said, "Well, that wouldn't have looked very gallant, would it?" Mr. Rat chucked his pen at me, then his notes, then he started grabbing other items from the table. Heavy items. "Ow! Ow! Stop it!" [http://i.imgur.com/SjaDH3Y.gif] I tried apologizing. Millerna wouldn't hear me. I wrote my apology in a letter and left it with the Atlantean medical book and the translation notebook in front of her stateroom door. She ripped up the letter and left it as a pile of little paper bits outside her door. Well. I guess the letter had only been half an apology letter. The other half had been plain old love letter and I guess she hadn't liked it. She did take the book and the translation though. Well, it was a totally nifty book. Damn. I am NOT going to ask Allen what he writes in his love letters. I'm just not. So much for my first kiss. Buh-bye fantasies. This isn't even CLOSE to what I imagined would happen. Let's see. Cons: She doesn't like me. She's in love with Allen. Allen can kick my butt. Allen's better looking than me. (I guess. Eew.) I've been trying too hard. I can barely think, I want her so bad. Pros: Well. I like her. A lot. Allen's a twit. Maybe she'll notice that eventually. Oh, man! What should I do now? What does she want? Hell. She's a princess. She doesn't need anything from me. ---- "Could you stop sulking?" said Allen. "I'm not sulking. I'm contemplating my life," I said. "Well, stop it. It's annoying," he said. I swear, I thought Allen was smirking at me. How unlike him. Usually his behavior was knightly perfection. Must have been the wine. Aaaargh. "Like me, Allen, you may just have to learn to endure it." Millerna entered the room then, (It was the officer's mess.) walked to the stores at the far end of the room, and poured herself a drink of juice. God, she was gorgeous. On her way back out the door, she stopped in front of me and leaned over the table. "Stop staring at me!" she hissed. Allen elbowed me in the ribs. Gadeth laughed. Oh, man. Just kill me now. The Crusade was a big ship, but if I wanted to completely avoid Dryden I would've had to have just locked myself in my stateroom for the rest of the trip. And the staterooms were kind of dark. Also that is just not my style, so I went on as usual and eventually, inevitably I happened upon him alone. I wanted some paper so I could make a copy of one of the Atlantean medical diagrams, so I went to the navigation room, which was filled with maps and lots and lots of paper ...and Dryden was in there, too. He stared at me for several long seconds, and then, remembering our last exchange I guess, dropped his gaze to the floor. He didn't move. He didn't say anything. He had a pad of paper and a pen in his hands. And pink in his cheeks. He was writing me another love letter. I could tell. "Um... Hi," I said. "Hi." "Um... May I have some paper?" He reached under the desk and handed me a pad of paper and he still didn't look at me. "Thank you. Um. ...You don't have to...er... You can look at me. I was just angry before." He looked up immediately, stared right into my eyes. "Oh. I really am sorry Millerna. I didn't know... I mean, I haven't... Uh.." "Yeah, I know," I said. Merle hears everything on this ship. AND she's a blabbermouth. "...Uh...So, you're not angry at me anymore?" he asked. I shrugged. "I can't translate that. What's it mean?" "Can I have a pen, too?" He handed me his. "Are you done with this?" I asked. "Yeah. Bad case of writer's block." "Oh. Too bad. Seeya," I said and I went back out the door. Hmm. He had another pen. Hmm. Those green eyes. And he thinks it's neat that I want to be a doctor. He doesn't think it's an unsuitable thing for a princess. Like my father. Or like Allen. Oh, no. Am I fickle? Hitomi was looking out a window on the other side of the ship. I sighed. She was the only one I could think to ask. I went up to her and said, "Hitomi, I'd like your opinion about... my friend..." ***** Visions of Roses ***** Card Four Visions of Roses The Ace of Wands Following Dryden's directions to Atlantis wasn't easy. We kept getting lost, but when Dryden was navigating he'd just take another look at the journal and point us in the right direction again. When we got lost and Dryden wasn't navigating, Allen and his crew would fly us around in circles. So eventually we got lost again in that strange magical landscape and when we'd been past the same mountain range for the third time, I said, "Where is Dryden? Why doesn't somebody go get him again?" Everyone seemed to think that this was a fine plan, but no one volunteered. They all looked at me. Grrr. Right. I looked all over the deck, but I couldn't find him. Finally I saw his PA, Mr. Rat, dozing in a sunny corner and I woke him up and asked him where Dryden was. "He's probably asleep, too. In his room." "Asleep? Now?" "Well, down south it's the custom to have a nap in the afternoon. We're used to it." Mr. Rat shut his eyes again and said nothing further. Okey-dokey. I went below deck to the staterooms and I knocked on Dryden's door. I waited a while. Nothing. I opened his door and walked in. Oh my God! He was curled up on top of the quilt, fast asleep, his sash untied, his habayah loosened, his buttons undone, and in his hand...Oh my God! I stared, appalled and fascinated at the same time. It's not as if I didn't know what men looked like. Back home we'd already started the Gross Anatomy class and I'd had to do the work like everybody else. But the shriveled and unlovely genitalia of a preserved cadaver looks nothing like a young man in flower. I couldn't look away. [http://i.imgur.com/FDQD9Nh.gif][http://i.imgur.com/wKNaVpk.gif][http:// i.imgur.com/wRawIXb.gif][http://i.imgur.com/fKlYigR.gif] There was a faint smile on his face. I watched him take another deep breath and I watched his hand tighten to a fist. "Mnn," he said, still in his sleep. I backed out of his room and I quietly shut his door. Eeek! I counted to ten and then I pounded loudly on his door. "What now, ya lousy Rat?" he said through it after a moment. "We're lost again, Dryden!" I called. "Oh. Sorry. Just a minute." Oh my God! How icky! thought one corner of my mind. Stonecaster,thought another corner. It's not like you've never woken up with wet fingers. And you were dreaming of blonde Caeli knights, NOT your lawful betrothed- or did you think he was dreaming of Hitomi? It was less than a minute and he came out with his buttons buttoned and his sash tied, settling his scarf around his shoulders. "Thanks for fetching me,"he said. "Er.... yeah, sure..........uh. .....Why don't you lock your stateroom door?" "Well, I don't keep anything very valuable in there. I really didn't bring anything other than that locked case in the-..... uh..... how did you kn-..... Oh, sh-...... um............... So how lost are we?" I don't know if it was for his own sake or mine that he changed the subject, but I was very relieved that he did. [http://i.imgur.com/ZqsL1cz.gif] "Pretty darn lost." I could tell I was blushing and I think he was, too. Oh, dear God, why had I asked that? Ooops. Dryden set us back on course, and then continued to translate aloud from Allen's father's journal while Mr. Rat sat invisibly in the background and transcribed it all into our language. Dryden was avoiding looking at me, and concentrating on the journal, so I don't think he realized that Allen was getting agitated by his translation again until Allen started to walk out. "Are you running away? Trivial things like this can disturb a Knight of Heaven? How interesting." "I don't think I like you," said Allen. "That's fine. I don't either," said Dryden. "Dryden, that was rude," said Hitomi and she ran out after Allen. [http://i.imgur.com/gufk3we.gif] "Oh, man. Another beautiful girl is gonna hate me." He laughed, and went back to his book, but he stopped translating aloud. Actually he stopped turning the pages, too. And I wear that exact same poker face when I'm desperately unhappy and surrounded by other people. I suppose it was instinct that made Dryden take that opportunity to annoy Allen. I still don't know who told him about Allen and me. And Dryden's claim that Allen didn't matter to him, that he wasn't jealous... it obviously wasn't true. [http://i.imgur.com/5aqQhhA.gif] We can't lose Dryden's help now, I thought. We're almost there and Allen might find something in the Mystic Valley that he needs. I should DO something. So I touched Dryden's arm and he turned to look at me. I decided to try another attempt at the thank you that he'd been so skeptical of last time. "Uh. Really. I want you to know how much I appreciate all you've done for us. Giving up your fleet and saving Van's life and all your help now. It's uh..." I forced myself to smile at him and... wow! It worked way too easy! He was beaming at me. "Uh....I should have paid more attention in my oratory class. I don't know how to elaborate the thank you that we owe you." [http://i.imgur.com/nzB2RVS.gif] He opened his mouth, shut it and just nodded at me, still smiling. Amazing. A touch and a smile from me and I've instantly cured him of crushing depression. I said, "How long did it take you to put that fleet together, anyway?" "Four years. But now I know how. It'll take me less than that to do it again." ""How are you going to do it?" "Well, I've still got some capital and my clients and employees. I can rent ships. ...Well. The first year I'll take a loss, the second ought to be okay." "Oh." [http://i.imgur.com/ys8a8q0.gif] Oh, and look at this! The effect is cumulative! Now he's blushing. This is so easy! Maybe I shouldn't be doing this to him, but it's so much fun! I wish Allen looked at me like that when I smiled at him. I wonder how far I can play this? It's difficult. He's rich, handsome, and as far as I know, he doesn't have a secret love-child with my sister. (That's a plus, right!) And he looks at me like that! But my heart is set on the Caeli Knight... or it was... Aaaaagh! [http://i.imgur.com/EwC4cUo.gif] ***** Practice makes Perfect (or not) ***** Card Five Practice makes Perfect (or not) The Deuce of Swords [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] I'm still not sure how it happened, but it did. The date was set, the invitations sent, all the preparations complete. I was getting married. I was rather worried, but Hitomi's reading quieted my mind somewhat and I finally picked out a dress to wear to the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner was... fine, although I don't think I remember anything about the food. But I had forgotten that there was to be dancing afterwards and I had not worn heels, and well, Dryden asked me to dance and I... had to say yes. I have over the course of my short life so far endured hundreds of Imperial Events, Royal Whosiwhatsits, and other Capitalized Things, and I just sort of hold my breath for a couple of hours and emerge on the other side unchanged. It was not until Dryden seized my hands in his and looked down at me so warmly and with so much anticipation that I realized that this was not just another Annoying State Occasion, this was till death do us part. And then I was terrified. How did I get here? This can't be happening. But it was. Once we were out on the floor I said, "We must look silly dancing together. I'm way too short for you." "You're not too short. I think you're about average for a woman. I'm just freakishly tall." "But don't you think we look silly together?" "No." "I do. Your skirt is longer than mine." He laughed. "This isn't a skirt. Next you're going to be telling me I look girly in it. I don't." "Why do you dress like that anyway?" "Why not?" "No, really. Why?" "In pants alone I do look silly. I look like a stork with these long skinny legs. I prefer this style of dress. I feel good in it." Hard to argue with that. But I sure did seem to be trying. "Oh. Well, how about that silly ponytail? I wore my hair like that when I was a kid." "I remember. You looked lovely, but you spent no time at all fussing with your hair. You were rather the little tomboy, weren't you. But beautiful." "Damn, you're good. You've got a response for everything. ...Hey! ...Oh my God! Was that you?" "Hmm?" "When I was a kid... Well, it could have been you; he was tall with curly brown hair... I was playing in the garden behind the palace and this boy came over and introduced himself, kissed my hand even. First time anyone ever did that; it made me feel all grown up. I played with him all day. It was great fun. I never saw him again, though. Was I nine? Or ten? The boy would have been about..." "Sixteen. I was sixteen, barely. You were eleven. My father wished to marry me to you, and he bade me go meet you. And I thought you were charming and I gave my consent and then ...uh, my father sent me away to season me. ...Maybe I should have written, huh?" Somehow I didn't want to believe this, so I said, " That boy wasn't wearing glasses." "They were in the breast pocket of my waistcoat." "I didn't tell you he was wearing a waistcoat, did I?" "No. Shall I tell you what you were wearing? I remember. A short pink dress, breeches and a toy sword. You didn't even take off the sword for the tea party. And you knew how to sit down with a sword at your hip and how to serve tea. You were so cute! Still are, actually." "That was really you?" "You turned my hat upside down and made it into a boat for one of your dolls. Miss Kitty." "Miss Kit- ...It WAS you!" "Yes." For some reason Dryden looked utterly delighted. "I want to see your hair down, like it was then. Take off that bandana." "You take it off for me." "Bend down, then." He bent down a bit and as I reached up to grab the end of his bandana, he placed a kiss on my cheek. Outraged, I let go and said, "What are you doing!" "If you want to play with my hair, you have to pay the toll." He smiled and winked at me, eyes dancing. "You're absolutely mercenary, you know that!" "Mercenary, mercantile, same difference. Pull that out of my hair and you'll get one right on the lips." "Uh..." "Surely you're not afraid of a little kiss?" His tone was teasing and I just reacted. I pulled his bandana out and his hair fell about his shoulders. And so... he kissed me. And I... I turned to wood in his arms. I did not tender my mouth and I did not offer embrace. He tried several times... and I would have none of it. He pulled away finally and let me go and looked at me and the blood drained from his face. He said flatly, "Thank you for the dance, Millerna. Please excuse me." He snapped his fingers and some courtier rushed up to take his place and walk me off the dance floor. I watched him go, his back straight, his head held high. He was only playing with me, I thought.It was just a game and I welched on the deal. But still. I can't counterfeit love. [http://i.imgur.com/Tkn2FpS.gif] I gained the sanctuary of a private room, but it wasn't private for very long. Allen burst in on me. Sleeve-boy. Just what I needed. I hid my face in my hand. It didn't help. "Dryden, I can't believe you left her out on the floor like that!...Oh!..um....Are you all right?" "Fine." I said, but my streaming eyes undermined my usually very good lying skills. "Um... uh.." "I seem to have forgotten that everyone cries at weddings, including the groom apparently. If you could spot me a handkerchief, I'd be forever in your debt." She still had my bandana. "Uh...Sure...Here...um. Can I-" "-You going to sign over the love she feels for you over to me? No? No, I thought not." Allen sat down on the table next to me. Dammit, he was going to stick around. It was just impossible to cry in front of him, so I stopped. "You love her, don't you, Dryden." "Yes." Well, duh. "I like her... but that's all." "Then you're an idiot. No offense." "Maybe... but what do you think would be better for her? I think she deserves someone who loves her." "...Yeah." "She only 'loves' me because she's spent a certain amount of time with me. Proximity breeds love and trust. Or sometimes, infatuation." "I suppose." "You're a smart guy. You ought to be able to figure something out." Was Allen trying to cheer me up? How weird. He must be in love with someone other than Millerna. Hmm. "You ought to at least try," he said. "I will." "Think of it as a siege." "What a thing to say! God in heaven, why does she love you?" "...You want a beer?" "Yes." "You want a bachelor party with a whole lot of beer?" "Um...You offering?" "The guys are all out back. C'mon." I have to admit, four pints will even blunt the pain of sitting next to Allen and make it so that Gadeth's singing sounds pretty good. [http://i.imgur.com/SjaDH3Y.gif] The wedding. Well. I was prepared for it to be a bit rough. I was prepared to give her a perfunctory kiss and call it a day. I wasn't prepared when the kiss she gave me lasted so long that it made me tremble. Made the ground tremble, too. I also wasn't prepared when the building fell on me. Really, the only thing I can say about that wedding is that no one has wedding pictures quite like mine. "Fire... Eeew!... Fire... Blood... Fire... Oh, gross!... More fire.... Fire again... Carnage... More fire... Still more fire... Good heavens, you've got a real aesthetic appreciation for FIRE, don't you, Adrian! I don't see ANY kissage here!" "Well... uh... well... That was when the Zaibach guymelefs appeared, and... uh..." "Adrian, are you telling me you CHOSE to record some flaming guymelefs rather than my wedding kiss?" "Uh... er... well..." "Oh, Adrian, this is so apropos. You're fired. Get out." [http://i.imgur.com/SjaDH3Y.gif] We were married in spring. The war raged all through the summer, and as Prince Regent, I was kept very busy. Millerna spent her days and her nights helping out in the shelters and hospitals. I hardly ever saw her, except when she dropped by to give me painkillers for my injuries. She never kissed me again, she rarely spoke to me, and she certainly never came to my bed. It was a warm fall evening, although I was cold, when I returned the ring to her. The truth is that when I left the room, I was hoping that she'd come running after me. I had thought she had seemed ...unhappy when I said I was leaving, and so I stood outside in the hall for several minutes. I would have traded my life for another kiss from her, but she didn't come out after me, and so I went back to my family home to visit with my parents for a while before I headed back out to restart my long-neglected business. ***** Walking Wounded ***** Card Six Walking Wounded The Eight of Cups [http://i.imgur.com/dm9SZk7.gif] My darling son came home for the first time in five years, but he hid himself in his room for the first three days. I assumed he was suffering from a broken heart, so I let him be until he was ready to talk about it. But one morning Dryden sought me out. I was delighted to see him at last. "Hello, darling! How are you doing?" I said. "I'm not sure, Ma. My ribs still hurt." [http://i.imgur.com/ABkDK0Q.gif] "Really? Let me feel." and I put my hand up to touch his back and side that had been injured at his wedding ceremony so long ago. "Aii......," he squeaked. I think he would have screamed, but he couldn't seem to get enough air to do so. ""They- they moved under my fingers! Your ribs are still broken! It's been months! This can't be right! Something's wrong." "It sure feels like there's something wrong," he said. "Let me see. Take your shirt off." He did so, with some difficulty. "Aiyah! It's all pink and swollen and hot! Didn't Millerna notice this?" "Ma. Millerna wasn't interested in seeing me with my clothes off." Oh. I had thought it was something like that. I looked again at the great red blotches on his back. "How long has this been going on? How long have you been in pain like this?" "Um... I'm not sure. Millerna gave me lots of painkillers, but I ran out yesterday. I couldn't sleep at all last night... and I feel awful... and I don't think it's just lack of sleep." "Oh, dear," I said and went running. I called up our carriage and I took him to the hospital. I think he flinched at every bump in the road. When the doctor pressed his ribs, she used much more pressure than I had, but my son didn't scream. He slid from the table and I caught him before he hit the ground. "Oh my God!" I said. The doctor calmly helped me get him back up on the table and she checked his pulse. "...He's fine. He's just fainted." "That's not 'fine'! He's never fainted before!" "Well, look at him." The doctor pointed to Dryden's hollow cheek. "He's got no reserves left. Let's just get this exam over with. I think we can assume it all hurts unbearably and that he'd rather skip being conscious for it." Oh. The things they did to my son. I wish I could have skipped seeing it. And he didn't get to skip being conscious for half as much of it as he would have liked. [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/0nIXojm.gif] I didn't want to go, but my father insisted. So there it was, I went to go visit Dryden in the hospital. I peeked into his open door. He was asleep sitting up, pillows on his knees and pillows and books all around him. I was trying to figure out if I should wake him up or just come back another time, when I saw his mother coming down the hall and since she hadn't seen me yet, I hid in the hall behind his door. Oh look, his medical files were in a pocket on the outside of the door. His mother walked in and I guess Dryden was only trying to sleep, because they started talking. I listened to them converse with half an ear open while I read through his files. Oh my. Acute staphylococcal osteomyletis. Or in other words, when his ribs were first broken it was an open fracture -(I didn't know, I'd just done some surface first aid on the blood pouring out of his head)- and he had gotten a bone infection. Which had... eeew... rotted away the end bits of his broken ribs so that they'd been unable to heal and had actually gotten worse. No wonder he'd asked for all those painkillers. [http://i.imgur.com/8WHreFY.gif] And then he got hospital-acquired pneumonia. Or in other words, he spent so long in the germy hospital environment with a compromised immune system while unable to take a deep breath to clean out his lungs, that pneumonia was inevitable. I kept reading. Lots and lots of antibiotics. Lots. And for a long time. And painkillers. And now he was infection free. And his ribs were finally healing. Although it seemed that he could now look forward to several more months of unremittant pain while his ribs regrew. Amazing. By all rights, he should have died of this. Just my luck that he didn't. "I can't wait to get out of here," I heard him say. "I want to go back and start my fleet again." "Oh....well....about that, darling. I've been hearing some ....news...," said his mother. [http://i.imgur.com/IiBBTFX.gif] Ah. That'd be my cue. I dropped Dryden's files and I knocked on his open door. "Hi," I said. A welter of different emotions passed over Dryden's face. His mother just looked sad. "I'll ....be back in a little while, Dryden," she said and she left the room. [http://i.imgur.com/opbs9Wh.gif] "So... How are you feeling?" I said and I sat down in the chair a few feet away from him. His mother had been sitting on the bed next to him. Holding his hand. Eeew. Dryden looked like he might laugh. Or cry. "...Fine. ...How are you?" "Oh. Well. ...Allen refused me." "...I'm sorry. He sure is an idiot." "Hmm. And... and my father and all the other advisors have ruled that our marriage is still valid." "What?!" he said, shocked. "Yes. I've been told to give you the ring back. Here it is. Apparently just handing me back a ring means nothing legally. Either you or I would have to start divorce or annulment proceedings. And I've been told in no uncertain terms that any petitions that I file won't be accepted. I doubt you'll have any luck there, either. So... um... we're married." He was speechless, so I just went on. [http://i.imgur.com/fjtMccB.gif] "And my father, since he's still doing so poorly, maybe even worse than you, has asked you to take over again as my Prince Regent... until I reach the age of majority anyway..."At which point I plan to cut off your head! "So... You're Regent. The pretty paperwork will arrive later today. Come on over to the palace at your earliest convenience and they'll pop a tin hat on your head. Again." "Oh, God, no," he said. "And I'm supposed to help set up a room for you in the palace proper, not out by the meeting halls where you were before. Do you want the furniture that's in there or do you want it redecorated?" "I... I have no idea." "Yeah, well, whenever you figure it out." "How- how do you feel about this, Millerna?" "What does it matter how I feel. I have to do my duty. I'm a princess." "Oh. ...I'm sorry, Millerna." "Yeah. Whatever. Have your PA talk to mine." I was being obnoxious here; I don't have a PA. "We'll move you into the palace. I need to get going. I've got school. Bye." [http://i.imgur.com/Tkn2FpS.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/Ad4BR36.gif] Whoever thinks that broken ribs don't hurt much has never had the experience. This myth no doubt exists because it's not very easy to move or breathe, much less yowl in pain with broken ribs. It just hurts too much to do it. If you can bring yourself to cry with broken ribs (and I mean really cry, the kind of crying that rips deep breaths out of you whether you like it or not) then you have to be crying about something other than the broken ribs. Something that hurts considerably more. ***** Four Minutes ***** Card Seven Four Minutes The Eight of Swords [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] The Royal Suite was four big rooms with lots of doors. I had a bedroom which had a door to the balcony and a door to my sitting room, and my sitting room had a door to the hall and a door to my private bathroom and a door to...what would be Dryden's sitting room. His two rooms were laid out just like mine and used to be filled with all my old childhood junk. I went through all my old toys and books and dollhouses and I boxed them all up and I gave them away. I invited some of my friends from school over and I had them help me move the bookcases. I covered the wall between his rooms and mine on both sides with huge bookcases, and I filled mine with my biggest heaviest books. Hopefully Dryden would do the same with those lovely empty oak shelves and never even know about that door. I buried the key to it in the bottom of my least favorite jewelry box. [http://i.imgur.com/2dViGSf.gif] I was very glad I had taken precautions. When Dryden arrived and I greeted him formally as my father had requested, there was such an air of determined tenacity about him that I was quite disturbed. Actually, I was scared. [http://i.imgur.com/Nu9XbTW.gif] So it was that I, a princess of the realm, crept and scurried around the palace and contrived to avoid my husband for the first few weeks he was here. I had no shame. I hid under furniture, behind columns and potted plants. I even once shinnied down a balcony trellis. [http://i.imgur.com/dXWzKHT.gif] On the marble and hardwood floors, the sound of his cane and limping stride was unmistakable, and I easily eluded him. On carpet, however, he more than once found and attempted to corner me. But I was swift to make excuses and even swifter to run away. Dryden, barely on his feet as it was, didn't have a chance. I left him in the dust. I must admit, I did not wish for his recovery. I dreaded the day he regained his health and strength. Asturia is not as progressive as some other countries, such as our neighbor Fanelia, in some matters of law. It was quite within his rights for him to do with me as he wished. In Asturia, they do not recognize that rape within marriage is even possible, and so, while I could, I ran. [http://i.imgur.com/pzIeiPo.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] One night I came home late from school and found him waiting for me in my sitting room. I almost screamed. "What are you DOING in here, Dryden?!" [http://i.imgur.com/JFqGEa2.gif] He looked nervous. Maybe that was why I hadn't screamed. And of course I was still holding my bookbag. Dense textbooks can be very thwunky and dangerous. He said, "Uh... I've been here a month now, Millerna, and you haven't even... um... You're hiding from me, aren't you?" "Oh. Well..." It was kind of hard to deny it. "You're always out. I've seen you ducking away. ...Millerna, talk to me." "What do you want me to say?" Maybe I could duck out of my own room. Grrr. "Tell me what you're feeling. Are you afraid of me? Do you hate me?" "...No. It's just... I just don't want... I'm only sixteen!" "All right. Um. Are you imagining that one day we will have children?" I considered the extremely hideous but very firm Royal Commandment that Parliament had bestowed upon me. "Uh... One day... .I guess." "You're just not ready now?" "Yeah." "You know, I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't want children right away, either. And...and you don't have to worry about me forcing myself on you. I'm not going to do it. I promise. Okay?" "Okay." I couldn't believe I was having this conversation. "So... in the meantime... could you stop... avoiding me all the time? It makes me really unhappy." "...I guess." "Like... could you have dinner and stuff with me?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "I don't want to sleep with you!" He giggled. "Yeah, I figured that one out all on my own. How do you feel about kissing me?" I suspect I curled my lip up in disgust. He sighed. "Okay. Well, how about just giving me a hug?" I still said nothing and after a few seconds he said, "Look Millerna, we are married and although you aren't ready for it, I very much am. I wanted to be married, I wanted a wife, I wanted you. I can wait for you to be ready for sex. I can, with some difficulty, wait for you to want to kiss me. But...I want to be the best husband I can to you and I don't want to fall out of love with you. While I'm waiting, I'll need some kind of contact with you... and I thought that a hug...that ought to be harmless enough, eh?" "I guess." Arrgh. Princess duty again. I stepped forward, put my arms around him briefly and stepped back. He smiled but said, "That wasn't quite long enough for me." "How long of a hug did you want?" "Oh, like ten minutes at least." Perhaps I have spent too much time in the jewelry bazaars. My immediate response was, "One minute." He raised an eyebrow. "...Eight minutes?" "Two." I said. "Six?" "Three." God. How can I be bargaining for something I don't even want? "Five?" "Four," I said. Eeeeg. Four minutes is a long time! "Four minutes it is. A four minute hug every day. And you have to have one meal with me every day, too." Humph. Some bargain. Well, I do have to eat. "Okay." I am a very brave girl. I said, "Are we starting this tonight? I've already eaten." "Just the hug then tonight," he said and then he turned and sat down on my couch. "Why are you sitting down?" "Because I don't want to hug you standing up. My back is killing me. And as you say, I'm too tall for you. It's easier this way. C'mon. Come sit on my lap." "On your lap!!!" I was horrified. "I promised I wouldn't do anything! ...Please?" I considered. He had a reputation as a ruthless merchant, but still, an honest one. "You have a watch?" I asked him. The corner of his mouth twitched, but he unclipped his pocketwatch from its chain at his sash and handed it to me. I perched delicately on his knee and put my arms around his neck. His arms closed gently around me and his hands touched my back and didn't move. [http://i.imgur.com/qSP2Mz4.gif] I opened his watch. I was surprised to find that the lid held a miniature portrait ...of me. I looked down at my own tiny smiling face... and I covered it with my thumb, and watched the four minutes tick by. It took FOREVER! Then I jumped off his lap and handed him back his watch. He clipped it back on and then tried to get up. Even with his cane, my cute little sofa was too low for him. I put out my hand and pulled him to his feet. [http://i.imgur.com/mPG8fXP.gif] He was a lot lighter than I thought he'd be. Too thin. "Goodnight, Millerna. When will I see you tomorrow?" "Um. Lunch?" "Great! See you later!" So I went to bed, alone and oddly relieved to have come to some agreement with him. The anxiety that had been pursuing me was finally lifted from my shoulders. I had a duty to my country, but Dryden seemed perfectly willing to let me defer it. How wonderful! ...If it was true. He knocked on my door the next night and he sat on my couch and I gave him his hug and watched the minute hand move like treacle. We did this for a week, these strange motionless silent hugs that lasted exactly four minutes. [http://i.imgur.com/Tkn2FpS.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/jFo8tk6.gif] She would sit bolt upright on my knee. I was hoping she'd get used to the idea after a while and relax, but she didn't. It seemed that whenever she lost her concentration, which was every time I made the slightest motion, she would start trembling. I tried to stay as still as possible, but I wasn't really in the best condition and I couldn't do it for long. Eventually my leg would twitch or my hands on her back would slip a millimeter or I'd breathe or something and then she'd shake for a little bit. It was awful. [http://i.imgur.com/SjaDH3Y.gif] The next day was even worse. She just shook continuously. Oh, please god, stop shaking! You're going to break my heart. Finally I couldn't pretend to ignore it any more. I said, "Are you all right?" "I am not a coward!" she snapped, still shaking. "I know you're not." I said. Oh man. She doesn't trust me as far as she can throw me. What does she think I'm going to do to her? Oh, no. There's no reason why she should have agreed to any of this in the first place, and if I let her get out of this then it's all over...but I don't want to make her suffer, either! I released her and leaned back against the couch, out of her embrace. She made as if to bolt, but I seized her hand and pressed it to my shoulder. I didn't move again and she settled back down on my lap, still trembling, but perhaps a little less. [http://i.imgur.com/VOX0S6g.gif] "How much time left?" I said. She looked down at my watch. "Two minutes." "So... um... Two years ago I was up east picking up a shipment of something or other and while I was waiting for the crew to load the cargo, I thought I'd catch a show. The only theatre in town was showing just one thing, some hoary old classic that they'd translated into a play. So I went in and in the box seat next to mine there was a man and his horse. That was pretty odd, but then when the play started it got even odder. The horse really seemed to be watching the play; it neighed at all the funny parts and snorted whenever the villain spoke. It was so incredible that finally I leaned over and said, 'Sir, I'm just amazed at the behavior of your horse!' And the guy said, 'Frankly, so am I. He hated the book.'" I looked up at Millerna then. No reaction. "Well?" I said. "That's stupid. Horses can't read." Yeah, and they don't like the theatre, either. "You don't think that was even a little bit funny?" "No," she said. Hmm. Well, at least she'd stopped shaking. "How much time left?" I asked again. "Still two minutes," she said without looking at the watch. Oh. Apparently I got a time-out for talking. Well, great. I can talk for hours. "So... um... I was going to a meeting this morning and I was walking along with Eries, and ...uh... she was giving me some background info on the people I was going to meet, and some young courtiers started following us down the gallery. It was a whole group of giggling pretty boys and eventually one of them came up to us and he said to Eries, 'Oh, Princess, I have made a bet with my friends that I could get you to say more than two words to me. Will you?' And Eries said, 'You lose.'" This time she laughed. "She didn't tell me about this!" "Uh... well..." She laughed harder. "Are you making things up about my sister?" "But it sounds plausible, doesn't it? Better than a horse at the theatre, right?" "Yeah." She smiled. Oh, god. Sunlight pouring through parting clouds. I looked away. So beautiful. I looked back. "Um. Do you think you can give me the rest of my hug now?" I asked. Ooh. Sun gone again. "Uh. Millerna, I won't hurt you. I won't do anything that you don't want. I promise. Will you believe me?" She chewed on her lip for a while and then she only gave me one word, but it was "Yes." She put her arms back around me for two more minutes and I kept talking. [http://www.lizardlounge.com/Natasha/Didodikali/interface/name/name- millerna.gif] He kept his promise. He never did anything more than hold me politely and talk. I'd sit there on his lap with my arms around him and he'd talk to me the same way he talked to me during lunch or dinner. He'd tell me about whatever new policies he was implementing and he'd tell me what was going on in the country and he'd give me his analysis of current events and then he'd ask me how I was doing at school and he'd tell me really, really stupid jokes. The whole thing was just strange. And he seemed to like it a lot. But I guess it was harmless. And it became... ordinary. Expected. Usual. I took lunch with him when I could, rather than dinner, because dinner was just the two of us, whereas lunch was often half a business meeting with other guests at the table. Our usual lunch companions were Mr. Rat, Dryden's PA, and my sister, Eries. Dryden was always polite to Eries and never mentioned her ear ornaments which covered the clipped remains of what had been pointed half-cat ears, the only evidence of my mother's inconstancy. Perhaps people assumed that when my father had snipped the ears off the child that wasn't his, that he'd snipped off her ability to hear. Maybe it was just society's inability to respect a bastard. That was Eries's reason for refusing the crown, anyway. I don't know. But now my sister (halfsister I suppose, but I always think sister) moved through the court invisibly and collected gossip which she reported to Dryden. We were frequently joined by others, too. Allen came by one day to ask to extend his leave of absence from the Caeli knights while he looked after his ...sister. He had brought Serena along with him, as evidence perhaps, for although she seemed to be a lot better, she was still not all there. Allen managed to get most of her lunch into her rather than onto her, but Serena seemed to be far more interested in staring across the table at Mr. Rat. "Jajuka!" she said. "Yeah. Jajuka. Right. Come on, Serena. One more bite," said Allen. Mr. Rat shoveled his food and escaped early. So did Eries. I wish I had. Afterwards Dryden cheerfully extended Allen's leave and shook his hand and told him he was doing a wonderful job with his sister. Then Dryden shook Serena's hand and she suddenly registered him as another person. She wouldn't let go of his hand. "Hiiiiiiii!" she said. "Pretty! Hiiiiiiii!" "Let go of him!" said Allen and dragged her off. "All right, that's enough of hello, Serena. Say bye-bye now." [http://i.imgur.com/N6ItHmb.gif] "Bye! Bye-bye! Byyyyyyyyye!" said Serena. "Yikes," said Dryden after they had left, "She's a Schezar, all right. She's gonna be just like her brother!" Yeah. Just great. Her brother had been so focused on keeping his sister in line that he'd barely noticed me. "Oh, man. Why is it always the really odd girls who like me?" "Dunno," I said, "I'm perfectly normal." Dryden laughed at that, somewhat hollowly. [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] There were a lot of events, Royal Whooptidoos and Imperial Hoohahs, that Dryden and I had to cram into our lives, so every week we would get together and synchronize our schedules. Dryden sat down on my couch and I went to get my dayplanner and a pen. "Oh. Oh, man!" he said when I returned and sat on the coffee table opposite him. "What?" "It's the halo! You look like a goddess!" "What?" I looked down. The sun was coming in the window behind me and I guess the light through my hair did look rather like a halo. "Oh." I jumped up, closed the blinds, came back. "Better?" "Not really. You're still too beautiful for words." He wasn't looking at me. He was looking down at his notebook. And blushing. [http://i.imgur.com/uCbGirD.gif] "Well, there's always my personality to balance that out. I'm uptight, wishy- washy and obnoxious. How about that?" He laughed. "That you can even say that just makes me love you more. Perhaps if you were to walk around with spinach stuffed into your front teeth..." "Um. I'll consider it. Can we get on with it now?" "Yeah, I guess." So we scribbled in our notebooks and argued about whether I really needed to attend some hideously boring meeting or not. (I managed to get out of it.) He said, "Right. That's it then. Later this evening?" Another four minutes, he meant. "Yeah." I watched him go. He wasn't carrying the cane anymore (except for when he left the palace) and he could get up off the couch without help. A goddess. Why does he say this stuff to me? And why hadn't Allen? Aaaaaaah! [http://i.imgur.com/D1l62Zw.gif] ***** Foundation ***** Card Eight Foundation The Hanged Man Surrender is not the antithesis of victory. [http://i.imgur.com/Tkn2FpS.gif] One of my many projects was the restoration of the public and private buildings that had been destroyed during the war. I was quite looking forward to showing Millerna how much we'd gotten done, but as we prepared to leave for the unveiling, she really looked... about as dour as a sixteen year old girl can look. [http://i.imgur.com/tuBxm62.gif] "Could you try to smile a bit?" I asked her. "Why?" "Because it's good for morale." "Whose?" Oh, man. She wasn't giving me an inch. "The country's." "...You think?" "Yeah, I'm pretty sure," I said. "Oh, well, if the rebuild is as nice as you say, then I'll smile." "Fair enough. Come along then, wife." I admit, I said this to my spouse-in- name-only with a certain amount of irony- and she heard it and took offense. [http://i.imgur.com/2Ag3Ro1.gif] "Don't call me that!" she said tersely. She can, without even really trying, imbue her voice with an overwhelming command presence. She does it so rarely that I don't think she even knows the effect she has. People stop in their tracks and run to obey her. Must be part of being a blood Princess. "Uh...All right. Sorry." So much for a smile. Now she was glaring at me. "I really am sorry. I won't do it again." I said. Her sizzling look abated somewhat. "Fine. We going now?" "Uh...Yeah." Oh, boy. What fun. Can't wait. Ugh. [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] Either I got sick of the cold silence or I just felt like teasing him. [http://i.imgur.com/cGpVW84.gif] "Good heavens. What is this, the fuzziest scarf in the universe? Warm enough?" "Not really," he said. It was one of those nice clear winter days, not even windy. "No? Why not?" "When my ribs get cold they hurt. And I'm still used to tropical winters. If you can call them that." "Oh." Dammit. I can't hate him. He tries so hard. Not to mention that I feel guilty every time he mentions the back thing. Ah, hell. Morale, huh? I suppose I ought to at least pretend. I sidled up to him and put my arm through his and we walked the rest of the way like that. [http://i.imgur.com/niERauz.gif] Oi. Princess duty. Ugh. We were almost to the building site, (The location of the wedding from hell. I've been avoiding the place for months.) when... "Okay. I'm impressed." The Parliament building was... back. "Yeah?" "Yeah. How did you do this?" "I didn't do it. I just hired the right people." "Aaaaaaand?" "...And used my old connections to get construction material cheap. Well. Except for the marble. I couldn't get that cheap since I wanted it fast." "It's finished?" "Mostly. Maybe another few weeks for cleanup, but the outside and the main rooms inside are done. Still needs some detailing inside. And landscaping, of course." "But still... wow!" [http://i.imgur.com/WlHAoFb.gif] We poked around the place for hours, and like I said, I was pretty impressed. Then we went home. We took a cab back. Dryden had forgotten to bring his cane and didn't feel like walking back in the winter cold. [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] So, I rather had a good time at the unveiling. The people of Asturia were happily employed at all these public works projects and the results were tangible and even beautiful. I guess it's even good for MY morale to know that major sections of my city are no longer utterly destroyed. And then later... well... I had known I would be photographed; I'm always photographed at Royal Functions, and I've never cared before, even when my friends brought me society magazines with vicious critiques of my wardrobe. (Okay, so I like pink. Deal with it, people.) I never cared until my friends brought to school a magazine article which showed... Dryden and I at the building opening together. And... I was just shocked. The article was silly, the picture captions stupid, but the pictures... Oh, god the pictures! [http://i.imgur.com/c30URUi.gif] The regent took the Princess on a tour. The Princess looked all around, delighted with the restoration. The Regent looked only at her. God, this copy writer is an utter hack. Oh, man. I swear, they just picked out the action shots. Can it be that I didn't even notice him putting his arm around me? [http://i.imgur.com/UgX1Mjy.gif] Our photographer caught the happy couple in intimate conversation up on the balcony. My God! Where do they hide the cameras? Happy couple indeed! Dammit! I didn't know I looked like that with him. We DO look like intimates- which just pisses me off! We are NOT intimates! And apparently I had shrieked that aloud. "What do you mean you're not intimates?" asked Eileen. "Don't tell me you'll sit on anyone's lap then?" I kept reading and it just got worse. My friends all laughed themselves sick watching me read the article and froth at the mouth. I swear, I'm gonna kill the paparazzi. I don't know who this Adrian guy is, but his head is gonna roll. [http://i.imgur.com/DPijBCX.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] I ate dinner with Dryden that night and I was still angry. I listened to him go on and on, telling yet another story about the restoration of another broken bit of the city, how it looked great and was making money, and I found myself getting even angrier. No wonder he's so thin. He'd rather talk than eat. And he's so happy. Does he enjoy being Regent so much? I watched Dryden wave his hands around in the air (he seems to do that when he's excited) as he cheerfully told me what his next plans were... He was so full of himself. [http://i.imgur.com/Raz3vAV.gif] Finally I burst out, "As I understand it, it's pretty easy for a rich man to get richer. If you'd started out a poor, uneducated man and gotten where you are today that would be amazing. But you're from a rich family, the son of the King's favorite advisor, educated and trained from birth for a life like this. So this is no great accomplishment." He blinked. "I don't-" "I do. And your looks are as much your doing as your riches, a mere accident of birth, yet you take full credit, and, even more amazing, you think you're gorgeous! You're not. You're a skinny stork of a man with-" "Enough!" "And then there's your personality. There's not a modest bone in your body. You're the most arrogant man I've ever met. You always assume-" Dryden threw down his fork and left the room. He didn't stop to pick up his cane and he was limping by the time he reached the door (he'd been out in the cold too much), but he didn't stop or look back. [http://i.imgur.com/YCGNmTe.gif] I sat frozen there at the table for a while playing out consequences and scenarios in my head. I could find no result that didn't completely suck. None. If Dryden left me again, would my Dad try to take over for me as he had when Dryden left the first time? My Dad was still not well; this would shorten his already probably numbered days. Even if I tried to take over (And I knew I didn't have clue how to do it, but suppose Eries and I somehow together managed it...) even then my Dad would be so stressed out. Dad liked Dryden's work. And despite how ill he was, Dad had seemed so happy lately. I had told him about the four minute thing and he'd been very pleased. I had assured him that Dryden and I were getting along all right, and Dad had believed me. Well actually, Dryden and I HAD been getting along all right. What was I going to say to Dad when he found out that this time it was all definitely my fault? And what was I going to do about school? When I'd had to step up my princess duties while Dryden was gone, I'd failed three major exams. Sure, being a ruling princess during a war is great excuse for taking exams over again, but if Dryden left for good... I would have to go back to doing school only part time. I'd never be a doctor... I leaped up and ran out of the room to find Dryden. I found him first try. He was in the library, looking out the window. He must have heard me come in, but he didn't move. "Dryden?" [http://i.imgur.com/Tf5Kagc.gif] "...If you were a merchant, you'd not get my business again. If you were my employee, I'd fire you. If you were my friend, our friendship would be over. I often disagree with my family, but none of us would ever say things like that to each other... but you're my family now. Worse, you're my wife, and you don't love me, or like me, or even respect me. I- I just can't imagine living like this for the rest of my life. This is not what I wanted. I don't know what to do with this." "Perhaps ...perhaps you could forgive me?" He was silent. "Please, Dryden. Don't I get to make any mistakes?" He still said nothing. Oh, shit! [http://i.imgur.com/5OBzZj1.gif] I sank to a kneeling curtsey and grabbed his hand. "Milord, I humbly beg your pardon. I am only sixteen and I don't know how to be either a wife or a princess. Please, sir. I don't want to lose you as my friend and Regent. Please forgive me. I'm sorry I hurt you." "....I....I..uh...I forgive you." "Thank you, Milord." "...Millerna, why did you say all that? Do you really think-" "-No, I don't think that. I don't know why I said that. ...Maybe... I think I like you and I didn't want to like you. It would be easier if I didn't like you. I was trying not to like you." "Trying not to! But why?" "I wanted my life to be my choice and it's just not. It's not your fault. You're just doing what you're told to, too." "No, I'm not. I... I..." "I'm sorry, Dryden." My apology this time was for a lot more than my rude behavior, and he must have heard it in my voice. He sat on the windowsill and looked at his feet for a while. [http://i.imgur.com/07NAuqx.gif] "Millerna... I'm really not meaning this to sound arrogant... but the country is at a critical stage right now and... I believe I am the right person for the Regent job at the moment. ...So I'm not going to ask for an annulment... yet. ...I could ask for an annulment in about seven months or so. If the Council won't take my petition, I could just leave and not come back. They'd have to grant it to you eventually. So, if you want..." "Is that what you want?" "No," he said. "I don't think an annulment or a divorce would be good for the country," I said carefully. "No. Probably not. I could stay on just as... as... What are you going to do? Take Allen as a lover?" I'm always amazed how Dryden is willing to have these painfully honest conversations with me. It certainly sounded as if it was painful for him to say that. And- ohmygod! -he was offering to take on the Regency and yet give me a purely sham marriage. Now what? "Were you going to take a lover?" I asked him. "Well, I wasn't planning on it, but... I don't think I deserve to live my whole life without love." "Oh, see, now you're pressuring me! Why can't I wait!? You said I could wait!! That's what the four minutes is for!" "Um... Right. ...Can we have four minutes now? I think I need it." He stood up and I put my arms around him. [http://i.imgur.com/alIRdZr.gif] "Why does this have to be so hard?" I said. "I don't know. I feel like a couple of guymelefs have been playing soccer with my heart." "Me, too." "It's our fathers who got us into this mess. Perhaps we should place a flaming bag of fido fewmets on each of their doorsteps." I giggled at that and hugged him closer. He sighed heavily and bent his head to mine. We stood like that for a while. Frankly it was a relief to hold him after ...everything. I thought about that and about what that might mean. "I do respect you, Dryden. And I like you. And I trust you. And... and... so you wait for me, okay?" "I hear and obey, oh my wife." He pressed a kiss to my eyebrow, which was as low as he could reach.Heavens. Surely I haven't received enough kisses to be able to tell them apart. That one felt like he was smiling. [http://i.imgur.com/Tkn2FpS.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/HxCNplN.gif] "Boss, this is a waste of our time. We could be home in two weeks. You could be making deals for yourself, not on behalf of some ungrateful Royal wench. She still don't like you. And the winters up here are cold and horrible. Let's just cut and run!" "I'm not leaving. Just forget it, Rat. If you want to go, you can." "Well, maybe I ...uh..." [http://i.imgur.com/6itCou2.gif] Ah. My new hire. Her name is Eulia. I don't really know from mousegirls, but I thought she seemed rather cute. And she was certainly qualified. You can never have too many great chefs on staff. "Would you excuse me for a minute, boss?" "Why, suuuuuuure." Heh heh. I bet he'll stop annoying me about going back down south now! At the very least, he won't be able to complain about the lack of a decent curry up here. [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/0ybCiMO.gif] So I quit trying to hate Dryden. It had taken too much energy anyway. I still felt rather strange around him. I wished my sister Marlene were still alive, for, having endured an arranged marriage as well, she surely could have given me some useful advice. Eries was no help at all. She kept shoving me in the arm and saying, "Jump him! Jump him!" Maybe my dad will get better and marry Eries off to some hideous old Zaibach sorcerer. Yeah, that'd serve her right. I met Dryden on the way to the dining room, and for once it looked like Eries and Mr. Rat wouldn't be joining us for lunch. Damn. Alone with him again. Dryden, however, was used to talking business over lunch. "That latest politicking situation resolved itself pretty well, don't you think?" he said. I had been watching the Council from up in the gallery and I'd had another perspective on the meeting. "I think you mean you shmoozed them all into agreeing with you." "Oh, I suppose. ...Uh, anything wrong?" "No. Why are you wearing your hair down today?" "Bit of a relapse, I guess. I managed to brush my teeth and get dressed and then I gave up. I took some aspirin with breakfast. It ought to kick in any time now." I kept staring at him and finally figured out what had been bothering me. "Oh... And it's just a coincidence that you're wearing the same clothes you had on at our rehearsal dinner?" "Am I?" He looked down at himself. "Uh-oh. ...uh... It's a coincidence. Really, I had no intention of reminding you of that... unfortunate event." Oh, what the hell. "Don't worry about it. Our wedding was worse." "Um. Bits of it were nice." "Dryden, a building fell on you. Other people get lovely romantic fireworks. I get explosions. Big ones." He looked at me and grinned. "Have you seen the wedding pictures?" he said. We sat down to lunch in the dining room and I only picked at mine. "You're not hungry?" he asked me. [http://i.imgur.com/AmE2T76.gif] "Not really." I have to get this over with... "Um... I'm- I've been invited to a... a party." Dryden looked down at his clothes, smiled ironically and shook his head. I have no doubt that I'll never see that particular outfit on him ever again. Then he looked up again (and I think he would have shrugged had the aspirin kicked in yet) and he went ahead. "Need an escort?" I stared at him. It's just stunning how bold this man can be. To offer to escort me to a dance after all this! Could he even dance in the shape he's in? I looked up into his eyes.Oh yeah, he'd manage it somehow. I said, "No. It's a girls-only sleepover birthday party." Which it was. Thank god. "That sounds fun. When is it?" Did I hear disappointment in his voice? "Well. It's a days ride out to Eileen's cabin, we'll spend one whole day there, and then another day to ride back. Three days. We leave tomorrow morning." "Uh-huh?" he said. "So... that's... what I'm doing." And I'm telling him this because...? "Uh-huh?" I guess he didn't know, either. "So.... you don't care?" I asked. "Hey, you're a princess. You can do what you want, right?" "I... guess." "I'll miss you while you're gone, though. What shall we do about our four minutes?" "I don't know." Darn. I'd been hoping to get out of it. "You've had lots of lunches and dinners with me, so I'll let you skip out on that part. ...I suppose we could do sixteen minutes tonight," said Dryden. "Um... I don't want to do that." "You don't? But-" "I'd rather do it now, in the daytime, than at night," I said. "Okay! I have the time now. Come on over," Dryden said. Once I was seated on his knee, he said, "Can I ask you... why you didn't want to do this later this evening as usual?" "Sixteen minutes at night freaks me out." "Heavens. ...Why?" "I dunno. Does it matter?" "I suppose not. But it's interesting." [http://i.imgur.com/8wqkaM0.gif] "You like this, right? Me sitting on your lap?" "Oh, yes!" "So in sixteen minutes, you might like it... too much." He stared at me for a second, and then he broke up laughing. I started getting angry. Why was I so amusing? "I'm sorry, my dear," he sputtered eventually, "but ...ehehehe! ...Oh, man! ...I have promised that I won't touch you till you're ready, and I'm going to keep that promise... but... How shall I explain this? ...um... If I understand your concerns correctly, then I have, on occasion, already 'liked it too much' and nevertheless done nothing to alarm you." "Really?" Oh, god. Apparently he won't even offer me little white lies. "Afraid so, my dear." "Oh. ...You're not now?" "Not at the moment, no. Does this bother you?" "Um. ...It's weird." "You have nothing to worry about. Honest." "Okay. What did I do to make you... uh." "Are you trying to figure out a way to prevent me from being attracted to you? Give it up, my girl; it's not possible. Well... I suppose if you consistently insulted me and called me names. Or violence. Violence always cools my ardor." "Suppose I was filthy dirty from three days camping and horseback riding? And had poison ivy. I always get poison ivy." "That wouldn't bother me. So who is this party for anyway?" "Eileen. Sharra, Joyli, Alison, Pheni and I are going." "Have I met all these girls?" "You've met Eileen and Joyli. You could meet the rest of them tomorrow morning. We are gathering here at the palace. South gate. Eight am." "I'll be there." "Okay." So strange. We have these really weird conversations and he never reacts quite as I would expect, but, well... I hooked my finger under the shoulder of his waistcoat. Raw silk. "Hey, Dryden, don't get rid of this outfit on my account. I kind of like it." "All right." He grinned at me. "Tell me about your friends." So for the next ten minutes I tried to tell him all about the girls I'd been going to school with for the last several years. There was really too much to try to stuff into ten minutes.I guess he'll just have to meet them. [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] He met them all right, showed up the next morning and did his shmoozing routine on all of my girlfriends, wished Eileen many happy returns and my friends giggled and fell all over themselves. Sheesh. You'd think that having a Princess for a friend, that meeting a mere Regent wouldn't be anything much. Sharra said, "Hey, Millie, how come you haven't had us over to meet him before?" "Millie? They call you Millie? Can I call you that?" asked Dryden. I was dying of embarrassment, so I shooed my friends up onto their horses so we could leave as quickly as possible. And then just as I was about to leave, Eries, who had come to see us off as well, gave me a farewell kiss on the cheek. Dryden's eyes lit up at this and he copied Eries's gesture. [http://i.imgur.com/qAgWM04.gif] I was too surprised to say anything, so I just mounted my horse and rode off with my friends, who teased me mercilessly for blushing. I looked back and Dryden was walking back into the palace with his arm around Eries and laughing and laughing. We had fun riding out to the cabin and when I unpacked I found a big bottle of calamine lotion with a blue bandana tied in a bow around it. Oi. I think Dryden memorizes everything that is said to him. I stuffed the bandana into the bottom of my bag where my friends couldn't see it. I used the calamine, though. I do always get poison ivy. Even in earliest spring, when you'd think it'd spare me. But that pea-under-a-mattress princess thing is a bunch of hooey. I can sleep in a sleeping bag on a hard wood floor in a drafty cabin and enjoy it just as much as all my other girlfriends. And that's a lot! [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] My friends and I returned a few days later and scattered at the gates of the city to return to our homes alone. I put my horse away in the stables and went into the palace. It was still early afternoon. We had ridden back faster than we had expected. I peeked into the library and there he was. Dryden was conniving. He's got a very particular look when he's conniving. [http://i.imgur.com/hf6hKkq.gif] He heard me come in, but he didn't turn around. He said, "Hey, Rat, where-" "-Not Rat," I said. He turned around then. "Millerna! You're back!" "Yup." I bent and kissed him on the cheek and he broke into a huge smile. "I'm stealing back the kiss you stole from me," I said. He didn't say anything, just grinned. "Well?" I said expectantly. [http://i.imgur.com/fzC6AQo.gif] "I'm so glad you're back!" "Humph. Don't you be stealing any more kisses!" "Awwwwwww. ...How about on holidays? Everyone throws kisses around on holidays." "Oh, all right. Holidays then. Thanks for the calamine by the by." "Sure. Did it come in handy?" "Oh yeah." I shoved up my sleeves. "Look at me! Eeeeew!" He inspected my arms. "My, that is itchy looking. You don't look all that filthy, though." "Oh, I am. I've got fleas. More than enough to share, too. You want four minutes now?" "Yes." I dropped my riding coat on the carpet and he pushed his papers off to the side, and I settled into his embrace. I said, "I notice your hair is still down. You still in pain?" "I'm fine. Tell me about your party." "It was fun. Very girly, you know. They teased me about you all day, thanks so, so, SO much!" "Uh-oh." "Ah, it was all right. They liked you, I guess. We had a nice ride out and then we played polo. And stayed up really late. We burnt marshmallows. Burnt everything, actually. None of us can cook." [http://i.imgur.com/08INU5j.gif] He laughed. I said, "Boy, I'm tired," and leaned my head against his shoulder. Then I sat up straight again. "Hey, wait a minute! Didn't I give you four minutes for this day already?" "I won't mention it if you won't. Nuh-uh! Don't go!" he said and grabbed me as I attempted to stand up. I sat back down. "Well, aaaaaaall right." Dryden leaned in close and sniffed me. "Boy, Millie, you smell really odd."Millie. Hmm. "I smell like horse, is what it is. Eau dePony. Told you that you wouldn't like that too much.'' He actually seemed a tiny bit insulted that I'd brought up that last conversation. "You're still thinking about that? I'm sure you don't act on every random sexy thought that pops into your head. Why do you think I would?" "I don't-" Apparently Dryden wasn't buying my high dudgeon. "Oh, right. You're a princess. Pure as the driven snow. Never in her life had a thought like that," he said with light sarcasm. "That is not true. I... I..." "Oho! Tell me!" he said, suddenly very interested. "No!" "Oh, please!" "No!" "Pretty please with sugar? I just gotta know what kind of things my princess fantasizes about!" "No!" "Awwww! Come on! I want to know! And I have nothing better to do than to ask you until you tell me." "FINE!!! ...I used to fantasize that Allen broke up the wedding and carried me off on a white horse to a big field of pink daisies where-" He interrupted me. "-Hold on. Back up the airship. ...You fantasized about leaving me at the altar! Bleeeeeeeeeeah! How the hell am I supposed to get THAT vision out of my head?" [http://i.imgur.com/DjCcUmX.gif] "Well, you did ASK! And you threatened endlessly! I wasn't going to tell you!" "Oi. That'll teach me to be inquisitive. I think I can guess the rest of your fantasy, but what happened to me after you left me at the altar?" "I dunno. Since Eries was maid-of-honour, wouldn't it have been the chivalrous thing for her to step in and marry you for me?" "Eries, huh. You're not the first one to suggest her." "Yeah?" "Mmm. If this doesn't work out, maybe I will ask her to marry me. Then I'd be your brother-in-law. Wouldn't that be interesting." "You'd ask Eries?" I could tell before he even opened his mouth that he was going to say something obnoxious. "Sure, why not. I've been spoiled for ordinary girls by now. I only like 'em snooty. And I think I rate a principessa." "Egotist." "Yeah, yeah. ...Do you still love Allen? I mean, am I just wasting my time here?" "Eeengh. I guess I don't love him. What's the point. He refused me. I kissed him maybe twice. He never kissed me, not properly, if you know what I mean," I said. "Oh." He chewed that one over. "So do you like having four minutes with me?" "I sorta like getting a hug everyday." [http://i.imgur.com/Nw9IwQg.gif] "You're an evasive little thing, aren't you. And every statement qualified. 'I guess. Sorta.' Ah, well." Dryden looked thoughtful, but not unhappy. He pulled me in for a tighter hug and then he let me go and I went away to wash the horse smell off. [http://i.imgur.com/yhVk2cF.gif] Hmm. Sometimes I'm darn surprised by the stuff that comes out of my own mouth. ***** Horseplay ***** Card Nine Horseplay Deuce of Cups [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] You remember the calamine thing, and how he remembers everything that's said to him? Well, that no-stolen-kisses-except-on-holidays thing... Sheeeesh! Every other morning he'd come over and kiss me and say something like, "Today is the Feast of Saint Sabriel," or "It's Royal Yak Shaving Day!" or whatever and he'd kiss me, and I'd go look it up and he'd be telling the truth. Apparently every day is a jolly holiday with Dryden. [http://i.imgur.com/MRRiRHa.gif] I just gave up on trying to steal all the holiday kisses back, because that was so obviously what he was hoping I would do, and I just put up with being kissed. He seemed to favor cheek or nose and sometimes ear, but every now and then he'd venture to place a quick one on my lips. Royal Yak Shaving Day. Can you believe it? He'll take any excuse. Chivalry is dead, and so is romance. Well. Maybe romance isn't dead, but it's mutated beyond all recognition. I guess I'll get used to it. [http://i.imgur.com/Y5aneRq.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] Well, it turned out that his memory wasn't perfect after all. One night he didn't come by for our four minutes and I discovered that I couldn't sleep without it. It was hours past midnight when I pounded on his door until he opened it, and he looked very groggy indeed. [http://i.imgur.com/Ylg6W6D.gif] "Where have you been?" I asked him. "...Sleeping." He held a habayah precariously around his hips and he flinched from the light in the hall. "Obviously! And how am I supposed to sleep?" "Huh?" he said. I guess that ready wit isn't ready when he's asleep. "I've been waiting for hours, expecting that any second you'd show up for your four minutes. But you never showed! What happened?" "...Uh..." "Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" I screamed. That woke him up a bit. "Oh! Um. I forgot. Sorry. Come on in. We'll do it now." So for the first time, we had our four minutes in his room, sitting on his couch. He laid his head on my shoulder, wrapped his arms around me and went right back to sleep. I ran my hands over his bare back, over the fading scars there and I buried my nose in his curly brown hair. [http://i.imgur.com/X9bOX5V.gif] We had been performing this ritual for so long, months, that I knew exactly, precisely what four minutes felt like without looking at a clock. When it had been four minutes I said, "Okay. You can go on back to sleep now." He mumbled something, kissed my neck and stumbled off to his bed. And I ...I don't know why... but I stayed there, pulled the habayah that he'd left over me, curled up on his couch and fell asleep. [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] I woke up when I heard him in the bathroom. It was morning already! What was I thinking sleeping on his couch! And how am I going to get out of here?His bathroom door was open and I'd have to go past it to leave. Hmm. Maybe he hadn't seen me yet. I pulled the habayah over my head, just in time. He walked out of the bathroom stark naked and sort of singing around his toothbrush. I couldn't see details through the veil of cloth over me, but he pulled open a drawer of his dresser and put on a pair of shorts. He pulled open another drawer and took out another habayah. Then he turned around. He stopped singing or humming or whatever it was he'd been doing. He'd seen me. Oh, hell. He popped back into the bathroom and in 30 seconds came back out and walked right over to me. I shut my eyes. I felt him lift my makeshift blanket off my head. "Oh, lookie here! A princess! Now how does it go? Ya kiss the sleeping princess and she wakes up, right?" [http://i.imgur.com/y9xGOKR.gif] I just wasn't going to get out of this the easy way. I opened my eyes. He smiled at me. He was kneeling before the couch, barechested and unshaven, but with clean teeth and brushed hair. He'd put on the habayah and a sash and his glasses and he was watching me very, very closely. "What are you doing in here, Millie?" "I was too tired to make my way home?" I tried. "Your door is thirty feet away from mine. Now, truly. Why are you here?" He reached out and stroked my cheek. Since I didn't know why I was there, I just grabbed the first thought that came to mind. "Um. I came to sneak a peek at the stork legs that you try so hard to hide. I thought I ought to check to see if they were really as funny-looking as you once said." He raised an eyebrow at me, but he stood up and undid his sash and took off his habayah and stood there in only his shorts. "There you go," he said. I stared at him for a while until his cheeks started to pink up and then I stood up and bent over as if to examine his legs up close. Then I kissed his left knee and I ran from the room. He called after me, "You're a tease, Millie!" Hmm. Maybe so. [http://i.imgur.com/qcCe6yV.gif] Dryden had missed lunch with me, he'd been in meetings all day, and so while we had dinner together he briefed me on the latest brewing disaster. Apparently the summer war had sharply reduced the harvest. Many of the farmers were dead or missing anyway, many acres of fields had been trashed in the battles, and the many farmers who had been left without product to sell were on government relief. The people were working at setting the fields to rights for the next harvest, and in the meantime (I hadn't known this) we'd all been subsisting on the emergency grain stores that had always been maintained by the Crown for this very purpose. And now the emergency stores were running out. We had apparently been very free with handing out help to our neighbor countries and even to the Zaibach people. We would have to stop doing that, which wouldn't look good. Rationing was the obvious next step, although even then it might be too late. Most of our near neighbors were in the same situation. No one would sell grain. Bread was going to be very, very expensive... And a starving Asturia might be too tempting a target for some powerful country. We'd have to hope everyone was still deathly sick of war. And here I'd thought these troubles were beginning to be over... Oh god! Dryden had been talking for a while. He cleared his throat, poured himself another glass of wine, drank half of it and said, "So what do you think? Any ideas?" I put down my desert spoon. How could I possibly eat after hearing this? "No. I haven't the slightest idea what to do. What do all the Council advisors say?" [http://i.imgur.com/0eKiIEJ.gif] "Each one has a different opinion and no one has a viable plan. It's your basic chaotic committee." "I don't know why you even bother asking me. Did you have a clue about any of this when you were sixteen?" "Not really. But I'm only twenty-one now. I still don't really know about any of this. I'm just taking an educated guess." "But in your case it's a very educated guess?" He winked at me. "Oh. Well, yeah. I'm better educated, more traveled, and generally twice as smart as everyone in Parliament." Hmm. Obnoxious and yet comforting. "Well, in that case, you must have some ideas." "I do. There's a couple of nearby island countries covered with fine black lowland fields and they produce lots and lots of extra grain that they try to sell to nearby countries." "So we can just buy from them?" "It's not quite that simple," Dryden said, and drained his glass. "They produce at such a rate that their prices severely undercut the mainland price of grain. There's a treaty between all the mainland countries that inflicts shockingly huge tariffs and sanctions on all grain traders from the islands. It's supposed to protect our mainland farmers. It's a bad thing for one country to be dependent on another country for its food supply anyway, and so in general, I agree with the policy. So the Asturian Council isn't going to give permission to let out the funds to buy from these countries." "How do you know? Did you ask?" "No, I didn't ask. It's illegal. They can't set that precedent. However, remember when I signed over my fleet to the Ispano people? Yeah, even the Ispano people gotta read the fine print when they accept a piece of paper from Dryden Fassa. They just sent me back my change, so now I've got some extra cash and as a private citizen I'm perfectly happy to use it. I still have my ship, the Corsair, that I can use for this errand. We can drop the grain shipments off at the Royal storehouses anonymously and no one will ever know." "But if this is illegal for a country to do it, it will still be illegal for a private citizen to do it!" I said. "So? ...I mean, really? Gosh, I had no idea! I'm so sorry; I won't do it again. Oh dear, there's a fine, you say? Forty bucks? Why of course, I'll pay it!" Oh, my. With two glasses of wine in him, he becomes quite the ham actor. "And besides, we won't even have to pay the smuggling fine because no one will catch my ship. The Corsair is the fastest airship around. And the Asturian fields ought to be producing just fine by next year, so we won't have to do this again. I'll send Mr. Rat out to take care of it." "He's very discreet?" I asked. "Well, that and he's quite excellent at forging lawful bills of sale. Just in case." "Um... I don't want to know how you got to be so rich, do I?" I said. "Ah, it's not as bad as all that. But, no, you probably don't want to know." "Oh my god! So you ARE a ruthless pirate!" "Well, yeah, what'd you think I was? ...Uh, well, no, I'm not, not anymore, I've only got the one ship left, and... Hey, wait a minute! I'm not a pirate AT ALL!!!" "Uh-huh. Suuuuuuuuuuure, you're not. Dread pirate Fassa. I can see it now. Did you have a parrot? Oh, no wait, what could possibly be more diametrically opposite to a cute fluffy little white owl than a giant rat?" "Oh, man! No!" "Arrrrrrrr, matie, arrrrh! How many languages can you swear filthily in?" "...Twelve or thirteen. It's the first thing you learn," he admitted, "But I'm NOT a pirate!" "Oh, I know you're not. You're a prince. I kissed you at our wedding and you magically transformed into a chivalrous, honour-bound, perfectly moral and ethical prince. Right?" "...uh," Somehow Dryden couldn't quite agree with that one. "Arrrrrrrr! It's Dryden the Pirate Prince! Arrrh, matie, arrrh! Will you make me walk the plank?" "Absolutely. First chance I get." Dryden looked at his empty glass and frowned. "Dammit. This is why I usually drink watered wine." "Why? Because the strong stuff turns you into a voluble fool?" "Yeah, that's about the size of it. Millerna, this is serious. We're talking mass starvation here. I'm not going to be able to pull off this smuggling ruse if you go around telling people that I was a pirate." "Okay. I won't tell anyone," I said. "And I WASN'T a pirate!!!" Dryden protested desperately. "Okay. You weren't a pirate." [http://i.imgur.com/LAzpETg.gif] "Stop looking at me like that!" "Like what?" For someone as rich as he is, he sure is a cheap date. Only two glasses of wine! Good thing I didn't have any of it. I pressed my advantage. "Hey, I know! Why don't you tell me about that interesting contraption I saw on top of your armoire! It looked like a bottle of water and some smoked tubing?" "Why don't you ask me again some time when I'm not drunk! This is so not fair!" And then, no matter how I prodded him, he wouldn't say another word. [http://i.imgur.com/Tkn2FpS.gif] The couch in my room is the perfect location for reading in the morning. Round about afternoon though, the light is better in the library. So I was in the library reading when Millerna came in, jumped onto the arm of the couch, wiped her riding boots on the cushions, smiled and poked my shoes with hers. She said, "Hey, take your shoes off the couch. You'll ruin the upholstery." "As far as I can tell, putting my feet up on the furniture is one of the perks of becoming royalty. Besides, the faster we crud it up, the faster we can get this ugly thing reupholstered." The couch was truly ugly, a kind of shiny baby- shit green. The muting effect of much shoe dirt would only improve it. "Humph. I'm going out riding. Wanna come?" "No, thanks. Have fun," I said. "...You don't ride, do you?" "No. Haven't yet had the opportunity to learn." When would I? Horses get airsick. And they don't enjoy the theatre. She perched on the end of the couch and stared at me like a big blonde vulture. "Oh. No riding. No fencing. What the hell kind of a prince are you? What did I do to deserve this?" [http://i.imgur.com/jN1JQXr.gif] I met her gaze. "I've met a lot of princesses in my travels, but you are the most obnoxious one ever. Perhaps we deserve each other." She rolled her eyes at me, gave me a resounding raspberry, and flounced out of the room. [http://i.imgur.com/tm3kc3a.gif] Thirty seconds later, she was back. "Hi, again." "Hello, my obnoxious and lovely princess." "You want me to teach you how to ride?" "Uh... I'm not really into-" "-I could find you an appropriate horse. Something big enough for you, but well-trained and placid enough for a beginner." "Um... Okay." Oh, how cute. She's gonna buy me a pony. "Might take me a little while to find it," she said. "A really nice horse, though? Not scary at all?" "What's with this scary business? Didn't I hear that the last time pirates tried to board the Corsair that you grabbed a cutlass and killed thirteen?" "...Who told you THAT?" I asked, appalled. She shrugged. "Is my PA telling stories again?" "Is it true?" she asked. "NO! Don't believe anything Rat tells you." Oh, hell! "Uh-huh. Suuuuuuuure. I guess I won't bother asking Mr. Rat any more questions. Maybe. ...So will you ride the nice sweet enormous mare I'm going to find ya?" "Yeah, I guess. If I like the colour." "What colour do you want?" "Um... Horse-coloured is fine. Whatever,"I said and she smiled and skipped out. Oh, just wonderful. The little witch is blackmailing me. I guess that means she wants something. Hehehe! [http://i.imgur.com/QsgmLYl.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] I'd asked Dryden to wait for me at our rooms, while I went to go fetch the other bundle that had arrived with his horse. It took longer than I thought. He was waiting for me in the hall outside my room, sitting on the floor. "Man, we need to put a chair out here!" he said. "Why didn't you just wait for me in my sitting room?" "I didn't want to invade your space." "Ah, well, I don't keep anything valuable in there; it's all in a locked case," I said and winked at him. "...L- Locked? ...You're teasing me, aren't you? How interesting." "Shouldn't I tease you?" "Oh, no, go right ahead. I can take it," he said. [http://i.imgur.com/BZOJgn7.gif] Oh, my. What's that expression mean? Uh-oh. I think I just told him that I still remember that time I walked in on him on our trip to visit the Mystic Valley. Sheesh. Another attack of foot-in-mouth disease. He looks...oh, dear...ecstatic. The effect completely wore off as we walked past the stables. "You don't seem all that excited about trying this," I said. Dryden looked quite dubious, actually. "My father is a great horseman, but I... never really took much after him." "Really? I'd always thought you were such a chip off the old block." He lifted his lip at that. "You did? You're kidding me." "But you are both these brilliant business types." Dryden digested that. "Er, yeah. I suppose he's pretty happy with what I've become." "Well, what were you before?" "No riding, no fencing, what the hell kind of a son was I? Um... I was a skinny, uncoordinated, stringbean of a boy, bespectacled, bookish and shy." "You were shy? That's kind of hard to imagine." "People change. You used to be a shrew," he said. I slugged him in the arm. "Ow! Maybe you haven't changed!" "Humph." We had arrived at the right field and I unwrapped the bundle that I'd been carrying. It was an ancient riding coat. I shook it out and handed it to Dryden. He put it on. It fit quite well. "Not bad. Needs a bit of a clean, though," he said. "Don't go getting it cleaned quite yet. There's a reason I got you that particular scruffy coat," I said and climbed over the fence. Dryden shrugged and followed me. We walked through the field and a gold and white pony trotted up to us looking hungrily hopeful. [http://i.imgur.com/htybeEp.gif] Dryden looked the beast over. "Well, this doesn't seem so bad." "That's my horse and don't give her that other apple," I said. "She's sweet, but not that sweet. Your horse is over here." I led him over the pasture to his horse, who was pale dappled grey with a pink nose and a black mane and tail. And enormous. She towered over Dryden and that didn't seem to be something he was used to. "Oh, dear. Why is she looking at me like that?" [http://i.imgur.com/vMklSml.gif] "She smells that apple in your hand. You going to give it to her?" "Um. Yeah. Here, horsie." The apple disappeared instantly, and then the big grey mare started sniffing him all over. "Hey, I think she likes me!" he said. "Well, she ought to." "Oh? Why's that?" "She used to belong to Duke Chuen," I told him. "So?" "Duke Chuen fell in the wars. His horse here -her name's Daisy- hasn't seen him in a long time. But Duke Chuen was tall, deep voiced, dark haired..." "Oh. Uh-huh. And this beat-up riding coat she's drooling over...It wouldn't be?" "Yes, it would, but look! Daisy likes you. Pet her! It's been a year!" "This horse thinks I'm someone else?" Dryden sounded... upset. [http://i.imgur.com/hG2lgqy.gif] "Yeah?" "I guess... I just wish..." "Get over it, Dryden. Daisy will like you for you soon enough, but to start off with, you're her type." "Uh. Well, all right. So, now what?" "I'll go get the tack. You stay here and whisper sweet nothings to her. Horses like that." "Oooookay!" He laughed. He thought I was kidding, but Daisy's ears looked like they were now permanently aimed at him. I think I chose well. [http://i.imgur.com/Tkn2FpS.gif] We stayed out all day and I surprised myself by really enjoying it, but it was getting close to dinner time. Finally Millerna said, "C'mon. Let's put your four-poster back in the stables." "This breed is called a four-poster? She's named after a bed? How odd." "No, not the breed, just this sort of horse." "For her gait? So smooth you don't even know you're on a horse?" I asked. "Uh. Well, actually, so boring you don't know you're on a horse. You'd have to kick her considerably to get any speed out of her. She's a very placid boring mare." Millerna sounded a little apologetic. I guess she likes exciting horses. Her horse had been running circles around mine. "You obviously don't have a four-poster bed, do you?" I said. "No." Millerna shook her head. "I do. I don't find it boring." Heh heh. "Well, Daisy's a sweet horse and obedient, and she won't shy at loud noises, so you'll probably get along," Millerna said and then she showed me how to properly undress Daisy. Well, that wasn't her term for it. I have such a dirty mind, and Millerna is so innocent, I don't think she even hears what I'm saying. Well, sometimes she does. Locked case! Hehehe! She got me a pony! Or a four-poster. Whatever! [http://i.imgur.com/yqln17L.gif] Daisy turned out to be such a staid and imperturbable horse that Dryden could safely ride her around construction sites in the city. He found that much more convenient than cabs and much more comfortable than walking long distances. He slung a satchel on her and turned her into an ambulatory office. Dryden rode her all the time. "I think you like Daisy more than you like me." "I can't help it. Daisy enjoys it when I kiss her." "Well, I enjoy it when-" Sheesh. I hate it when he sets these verbal traps for me, and I really hate it when I fall in. "Yes? Yes? Do tell!" He leered at me. "-When you kiss your horse. Yes indeed, you two are SO well-suited." "Oh, maaaaaaaan! SO close." [http://i.imgur.com/zr7momd.gif] ***** Lessons Learned ***** Card Ten Lessons Learned Deuce of Coins I would love to kiss you. The price of kissing is your life. Now my loving is running toward my life shouting: What a bargain! Let's buy it! ~Rumi There were legends now running around the country about the dashing mouse who had appeared like lightening and filled all the Royal Granaries and Mr. Rat was wearing one hell of a self-satisfied expression when he handed me his report. I flipped through it. "This looks great, Mr. Rat. Fine, fast work as usual." The mousegirl, Eulia, poked her head around the door. "Romi! Can we go now?" Mr. Rat waved at her and she disappeared again. I looked at Mr. Rat. "Your first name is Romi? ...Where are you going?" "Um... Eulia and I are going out." "Oh. That was fast work, too." "Efficiency is my middle name," he said. "Apparently. Have fun." "You bet we will. Ever heard the phrase 'like crazed weasels?'" "Look, I didn't ASK for details! You're dismissed. Shoo, shoo." [http://i.imgur.com/RafmmlI.gif] "Right. Later, boss." Oi. Even the rats around here get lucky. Millerna sank lower and lower until her chin finally hit the table. The details of Mr. Rat's report were definitely not holding her interest. "Are you even listening?" I asked her. [http://i.imgur.com/QJXLOjn.gif] "Yeah. I am" "You look utterly bored." "At least I'm listening, though," she said. "It's not as if I like talking about this boring stuff, you know." "I didn't think you did. Talk faster and we'll be done sooner." "Are you in a hurry?" I said. "I have to study for finals. I'm way, way behind." She sounded quite mournful. Oh, dear. She was taking a triple courseload, the usual stuff for a girl her age, princess stuff and premed. It was a difficult juggling act that became even more impossible whenever she got hit with a couple of exams at once. Of course she was young and didn't know it was impossible, so she just did it. The girl was incredible. I tossed the granary report aside. "Well, forget this then. We don't have to do it now. Can I help you study?" She nodded and jumped up and ran over to her couch where she had dumped out her bookbag. I sat down next to her on the couch and watched her look through one of her medical books. She couldn't seem to find whatever it was she was looking for. I picked up the loose ends of her hair and began playing with them. She gave me a narrow sideways glance. "What are you doing? Checking for split ends? You're supposed to be helping me study." [http://i.imgur.com/zwArPup.gif] "Awwww. But this is so nifty. Is your hair blonde or white gold? Are these highlights white or silver? Would this slight wave become a curl if your hair wasn't so amazingly thick? If I wanted to write some horrible adjective-driven overblown love poetry in its honour, what would I say?" "...Do you want to?" "Well, I want to, but I probably shouldn't. The Prince Regent inflicting bad poetry on the populace? It just wouldn't look good." "Uh-huh. And how's it gonna look when the Princess FAILS her exams?" I dropped her tresses. "Yeah, yeah, all right. What do you want me to do?" "Ask me stuff from this book, and I'll see if I can guess the answer." "Guess? What's with this guess? Are you hoping for multiple choice? That doesn't sound promising at all," I said. "No, it doesn't! So help me already! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! I'm gonna fail! Again! Once can be explained away; twice just means I'm stupid. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!" [http://i.imgur.com/f11ex28.gif] "Oh, man! You should have come to me earlier. This is one of the few things I'm good for. It'll be fine. Really. Where are your notes?" "...Notes?" she said. "No notes? What do you DO in lecture?" My amazement was not comforting her. Her face crumpled up. She said, "I can never write that fast. I just listen real hard. Waaaah!" "...um... Ooookay, so maybe you're gonna get a sudden stomach virus tomorrow, but the day after that, you'll ace this test." "Really?" She looked up hopefully. "Sure, no problem. You've never pulled a stomach virus before, have you?" "No." "Great! Then they won't even be suspicious!" "Um... Okay. You've done this before?" she asked me. "Ahem. I am not saying. However, I will say that I've never done what we are gonna do next, since I always took excellent notes. Do you have any friends who were particularly good students who were taking this class last year?" "Um... Koumori?" "Great! We'll ask to borrow her notes. We'll say you weren't feeling well and accidentally dropped your notes in the tub or something." "We're gonna lie?!" Millerna was horrified. "Are you kidding me? We're politicians, my dear. We don't lie. We embroider, we evade, and then if we're caught, why we just accidentally misspoke." "Oh. Hmmm. That seems-" "-Expedient? You want this knowledge permanently embedded in your brain or what?" "Um... Expedience it is!" she said. Well, look at that. The girl has a price. It was dark and rainy, and so, instead of taking our horses out, we caught a cab. The cab pulled up in front of Koumori's house, and then I sat there in the back seat trying to nerve myself to get out and go knock on her door. "Oh, god! This is mortifying!" I said. "Want me to do it?" asked Dryden. "Um..." "I don't mind. What's Koumori like? Do you think it will work if I tried flirting with her or would she be offended?" "Um... She'll probably take it as a great compliment. Are you always this cold and calculating about it?" "Calculating, yes. Cold, no. It always warms my blood considerably to get what I want, and I've wanted for a while the opportunity to do something for you. I'll be back in a few minutes." And he jumped out of the cab into the dark and was gone. Well, that's Dryden all over. He's got plenty of nerve. Dryden opened the cab door maybe fifteen minutes later. "You got it?" I asked him. "Yup. No problem. They were rolling on the floor when they heard you dropped your notes in the toilet." "I thought it was the bathtub." I grabbed his hand and pulled him up into the seat next to me. "I said I was gonna embroider, didn't I. Ah, the deep swirling torments of the Throne! Oh, and you've invited Koumori and her boyfriend and her mom and dad to your birthday party." "I have, have I?" Dryden slammed the cab door, and the driver somewhere up front clucked to the horses and we started home. "Yup. And you're going to be delighted to see them there, too!" "Oh. Well, I probably will be at that. So, can I have the notes?" "Sure! Pay the toll." I must not have looked very enthusiastic. His smile faded. "Oh. ...Well, you don't have to. Here." He proffered the notebook to me and sighed. Aaagh! What the hell is wrong with me? My friends would kill for a boyfriend like this. I can at least play his little toll game. I put my hand on the back of Dryden's neck and pulled him down and kissed him. [http://i.imgur.com/N6lFBcp.gif] The notebook slipped out of his hands and into mine and I pulled away. He opened his eyes and shivered. "Yowza!" he said. "Oh, come on! That barely lasted a second." "So? It was still nice. How much can I get away with tonight? Will you hold my hand while we ride back?" "Sure. I can read with one hand," I said. "Humph. Maybe I won't let you hold my hand." "Gosh, you're so particular. Fine. Here." I dropped the notebook in my lap and I caught his hand in mine and then I reached over and caught his other hand, too. "Howzat?" I asked him. "...That's good. I like this lots." And I'm really beginning to like that shit-eating grin of his. Dryden was insistent that I had to give up the dressmaking appointment that I had scheduled after the exam I was now planning on missing the next day. "You'll be studying all day! And besides, you can't be having a dress-fitting if you're pretending to be puking your guts out so you can retake a test. It'll blow the illusion." "But it's for my birthday party dress! I engaged this dressmaking appointment three months ago!" Finest designer in the city! Aaaah! "...Which friend of yours is it with whom you trade clothes all the time?" "Um. Eileen?" I said. "Yeah. Have her go for you." "How will I get Eileen to endure being stuck with pins for a dress she won't even get to wear?" "You got anything she wants?" he asked. "...She likes my jade necklace." "Give it to her." "But-" Dryden was absolutely exasperated with me. "-Millerna! How much jewelry do you have? You're a princess!" [http://i.imgur.com/9WGPZPP.gif] "...um. ...Point." "And besides, your time is worth way more than any string of shiny stones. Particularly when it's the last day before a major exam." "...Yeah. Okay." I have to admit, he's got his priorities straight. I turned the pages of Koumori's notebook in burgeoning wonder. "This is... so... organized! And neatly written! How in the world did she take notes this fabulous while listening to a lecture?" [http://i.imgur.com/jbDxrqq.gif] "Well, she didn't, of course." "What?" I said. "When the professor assigned a chapter to read, she skimmed it once, then she took notes on it as she read it a second time. Then in lecture she just highlighted the points that the professor covered and maybe wrote a few sentences if the professor mentioned anything she hadn't already written down." "That's... that's brilliant! This is gonna change my life! Uh... That's what you did?" "Actually, that's what I still do," said Dryden. "For what?" I asked. "For meetings, for business, for everything. I like being prepared." "Oh. Where did you learn to do this?" "From my mother," he said. "Your mother?" "Yeah. And when Meiden happened to give your father any good advice, he probably got it from my mother, too. She was away visiting her parents before the war, so that's why my father's counsel became so... um..." "Bad?" I said. Dryden raised his eyebrow at me. "I was gonna say ill-advised, but bad covers it pretty well." "Oh. Sorry. My diplomacy lessons haven't sunk in yet." He laughed. "Oh, it's all right. A rose by any other name would still have a great big ole slimy snail on it. There's not much point in trying to deny the family flaws. You keep reading. I'll go arrange to get dinner sent in here." I kept reading the notes and eventually Dryden came back with dinner. I had intended to keep reading while I ate, but I was still fascinated by this disclosure about Meiden. Was it really true: behind every good man is a really good woman? I asked Dryden, "So it's really your mother who is the great advisor?" "Well, my father is the one with the charm and the tact. My mother's great advice is often so... um... blunt, that it sounds a whole lot better coming out of my father's mouth. They're a team. If you separate them, then my father is a slick, greedy bastard and my mother's a revolutionary shrew, but together they do good work. And even made halfway rational parents, too." "Oh. I think I need to get to know your mother." "You'd like her," he said. "Why? Am I a revolutionary shrew, too?" "Hahaha! Am I a slick, greedy bastard?" I smirked at him. "Hmmm. At first blush, I'd say that you seem to be too generous to be called greedy, but then I wonder... just how slick are you? How badly do you want to be King?" "Oh, man! I don't at all! There was Marlene and Eries back when I agreed to marry you! I thought I was just getting a beautiful princess. I didn't think I'd have to do any work!MY plan was to retire rich and young and then bop around the world in my airship with my fabulous princess wife beside me, but nooooooooooo! When you figure out what Eries has done to you by foisting all the responsibility off onto you, you're gonna black both her eyes!" "...Ya think?" I said. He's so cute when he's pissed off. "Yeah, and I'll help. I didn't want to be Prince Regent; that was just the price of marrying you. I wanted to be a scholar and a world traveler. It's my bad luck that I happen to be good at... all this." He waved his hand, a disgusted flourish. "Well, you are a scholar, despite all this." "Uh-huh. And you are gonna be a doctor, despite all this. If you study. Give me those notes and let's see if you guess right." He grabbed the notebook from me and opened it up. "Guess? What's with this guess?" I said. "Yeah, yeah." [http://i.imgur.com/7pdHwlW.gif] Dryden methodically asked me questions from the notebook and it slowly became clear which parts I already knew (more than I thought, yay!) and which parts I would have to study tomorrow. "Are you learning all this, too?" I asked him. "God, I hope not. My head's already stuffed with more useless trivia than I can keep track of. Come on. Next section." We had a list of the sections Millerna knew pretty well already and a list of the bits she would study tomorrow. And we had been poring over the notebook for hours. Finally I said, "You have a big day of faking a stomach flu tomorrow. Shouldn't you go to bed? You-" [http://i.imgur.com/XjhVwsr.gif] "-But this is so much fun!" Millerna looked thrilled to have a plan. "...But I'm tired, and-" "-Well, why don't YOU go to bed?" she suggested. "...Cause I want my four minutes-" "-Well, why didn't you say so?" she said. Aaaagh. "Because you keep interrupting me." "Oh, Dryden!" She leaped on me then and threw her arms around me and squeezed and then she sort of melted over me. [http://i.imgur.com/nkc7Fgx.gif] Aiiiiiiii! Come on! Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me! She didn't kiss me. Or take my pocketwatch. She's got a clock in her head now, too. After what I'm sure was the allotted time, she jumped off of me and said, "Okay, four minutes. Time for bed." "Awwwww!" "You're the one who said I had a big day tomorrow." She put the back of her hand against her forehead and struck a pose. "Why I do declare! I feel something coming on! I think I might be violently ill!" "Ya over-actor. All you have to do is lock yourself in the bathroom and moan loudly." "Oh. And here I'd thought we were going to mix up some fake vomit and decorate my room with it." "Eeeew! Gross!" I said. I grabbed her hand and pressed my lips to her palm. "Goodnight, my icky little princess." She shivered and turned pink. Oho! Found a spot, did I? I'll remember that! I hope she has dreams as itchy as mine. Millerna plopped herself down on my lap and put her arm around my shoulder. Oh, this feels SO good! She said, "I haven't yet received my test results, but... You were right. I'm absolutely positive I aced it." I smiled at her. So nice to see the return of that self-assured tilt to her chin. "They talk about you at school, you know." "Oh." I said. "You want to know what they say?" she asked. "Eeeenh. I guess." I don't pick policies according to the popularity polls. "My civics teacher was deconstructing all the actions you've taken since you became Regent." "Uh-huh?" "Well. ...The country's mostly back together, and we are even helping out our allies. We're even helping out Zaibach. Lots of stuff is rebuilt already and there's jobs and food and... well..." "I do try." "Yeah. Well, you've told me all along what you are doing and why, and it always sounded like it made sense, but... my teachers think you are brilliant." "Heh heh. Nice to be appreciated." She turned her head, hid her face against my shoulder. "And... well... I've been thinking... about what would have happened if I'd have married Allen and he'd been Regent... and I don't think Asturia would have been doing so well." "Hmmm." "And I know I wouldn't have been able to be taking so many classes. I'd have had to do Princess stuff. And...so I'm wondering... Do you think Allen refused me because he knew you'd make a better Regent?" "I don't know. You could ask him," I said. "I hardly ever see him. And... Serena is doing pretty well now. I see her around at school. But... Allen. I think it might have been just that he didn't love me." "I love you." Millerna squeezed me a little harder. "My girlfriends at school ask about you. I told them about our four minute thing and... stuff. They like you." Aaaagh. That is NOT what I want to know. "...Do you like me?" "Um. I didn't want to like you, but...after hugging you so much... This was another brilliant stratagem of yours, wasn't it? To make me like you?" "...um. Well... um..." "Oh, just admit it," she said. "...Someone once told me that proximity can lead to love and trust." Thanks so much, Allen. "So this WAS a plan to make me like you." "Mmm... I'm hoping you'll fall in love with me, actually. I'm hoping for a glorious marriage with you. I want my four minutes with you every day for the rest of my life. I love this and I love you." "...oh," she said, almost inaudibly. "Do you mind my plan?" I asked her. "Um... I....guess not." Well, that's all I needed to hear. I stopped Dryden in the hall and handed him the shiny square of paper. "You ever seen this photo before?" [http://i.imgur.com/wkDE8Tp.gif] He stared at it. "No." "You recognize the kid?" "Yeah. It's me. Where did you get this?" "Your mother gave it to me. She stopped by and we talked. You know who the baby is?" "No. ...Oh. Lemme guess. It's you?" **** [http://i.imgur.com/ubjGsz7.gif] **** "Yes. Apparently your mother and my mother were the best of friends. Take a look at this picture," I said and handed him another. "Oh, wow, look at Eries with pigtails! Huh. So our betrothal was my mother's idea, not my father's?" **** [http://i.imgur.com/AW1y5xV.gif] **** "No. Actually it was YOUR idea." "What?" he said, startled. "Apparently a few months after I was born, my future was decided by the idle words of a six year old boy." "Okay, you're kidding me, right?" "That's what your mother told me. My mom threw this garden party and they put me in your arms just to get that first picture, but apparently you wouldn't give me back. Apparently you carried me around for a couple of hours! 'Oh, she's so pretty' you said. 'Can I have her?' ...'No, Dryden. Babies need to be taken care of by their mommies,' your Mom said. ...And you said, 'Well, how about for my next birthday? Can I have her then?' and then our mothers exchanged significant glances and nudges and winks and it was all over." "Oh, man. That's just weird." "Yeah, that's what I thought. Cute pictures, though, aren't they?" I said. "Uh... Yeah.... Can I have copies?" "Those ARE your copies. Your mother brought a set for Eries, a set for me and a set for you. Frankly, it creeps me out how your mother can anticipate things like this and plan for them." "Hmmm." "And YOU do that, too, don't you?" I poked him. "Um... well... uh, yeah, I guess I do," said Dryden. "Freak. ...So, do you believe in fate?" He offered me a lopsided smirk. "Generally speaking, no. But if it's a fate that I like, then I'm happy to believe in it." "How can you say that after the whole thing with Zaibach and Dornkirk last year?" "Um. Honestly, I thought that Dornkirk's fate adjustment engine was the biggest crock of propaganda hooey I'd ever seen. That the people of Zaibach were willing to go to war on the say-so of a giant machine that went 'bing' always struck me as utterly insane. Bad drugs in the Zaibach water supply was my guess." [http://i.imgur.com/aQP7OfR.gif] "Oh, Dryden! ...Well, what about Atlantis?" "Pretty ruins? Group hallucinations?" "Uh-huh. And Hitomi?" I said. "...Well, she was one freaky chick, but she thought you were fated for Allen and I don't like that fate. I don't really like fate at all. I'd rather think that you choose to be with me. Even though this is an arranged marriage. Even though I... um... I don't know." Dryden looked down at the pictures in his hands and sighed. "Oh." There are some things that only become known through long association. Of all his billions of books, there is one that Dryden seems to like best. He rereads it all the time. I found him, as usual, in the library, rereading that particular book yet again. "Just what is this book?" I asked him, and I plucked it out of his hands. Pages of strange characters that made no sense to me. Oh, well. "It's from the Mystic Moon. It's... um... well, I guess it's poetry." Dryden looked a little embarrassed. So much for His Royal Expediency. I handed him back his book. "Oh. What's the author's name?" "Um. I don't know. It only tells where he's from. He's a mystic, though." "An anonymous mystic from the Mystic Moon? And I suppose it's mystic poetry? Yeah, that would figure. Is it good?" "It's my favorite. ...Want to hear some?" "It's in another language," I said doubtfully. "Well, I'll translate. I don't think I can make it rhyme in Asturian, though." "Um. Sure." He flipped through the book to one of the dog-eared pages. I sat down next to him and he started to speak and I peeked around his arm into the pages of the book I could not read. I do not know why, but even though I couldn't read it, I wanted to see the pages and maybe he knew that because he reached out and pulled me into the circle of his arm and tilted the book my way. [http://i.imgur.com/srxkhhA.gif] He must have this particular book almost memorized; I've never heard him translate so fast. Still, sometimes a sentence comes out in some interestingly bizarre syntax, and then he says it over again in a more Asturian way, and sometimes a word isn't translatable and he diverges into brief etymological explanation. 'The Queen walked among her advisors, showing them all a magnificent pearl. She asked one advisor, "What is it worth?" "More than I can say." "I command you to break it. Break it in half now." "Milady, I could not waste your resources so." And the court was pleased with his answer and the Queen awarded her advisor a robe of honour. The Queen walked around her court and picked another advisor and put to him the same questions. She got the same response and gave him the same reward. All her advisors copied the first, but then the Queen came to Aya. The Queen held out the pearl. "Is this not beautiful?" the Queen asked. "It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," said Aya. "Destroy it. This minute." Aya had had a dream about this and she had hidden two stones in her sash and she crushed the pearl to powder. The assembled courtiers and advisors screamed at what she had done, but then Aya said, "What the Queen says is worth more than any coloured stone." And then the Queen...'( *) He has the faintest tinge of a foreign accent from his years away. His voice is deep and warm and resonant and he rolls his Rs...and I realize that I love his voice. And I also realize that that's a slippery slope to stand on, for loving one thing leads to loving another and I love his arms around me and I love the way he'll take any stupid excuse to spend time with me. And I don't think that I can say anymore that I don't want to love my husband because...I do. But how can I be sure? How does anyone ever really know? A large drop of water landed on the book, softened the letters it had splashed. "Uh... Millie?" "Please... keep reading." He kept reading. It is fortune, not wisdom, that rules a man's life. ~ Cicero [http://i.imgur.com/lmACmgL.gif] Oh, God! Am I a liar? Time will tell. ( *) Condensed and massively changed, but still shamelessly ripped off (Arrrr, matie, arrrr!) from "The_Essential_Rumi" Page 126. Buy it. ***** Keeping Time ***** Card Eleven Keeping Time Strength I, you, he, she, we... In the garden of mystic lovers, These are not true distinctions. ~Rumi Dear Regent Fassa, I do apologize for failing to capture the desired moment of your wedding. Enclosed is a photo I took at your latest construction site. No fire. No kissage, either, but close. I hope it meets with your approval. Sincerely, Adrian Pinxit [http://i.imgur.com/qZNvliB.gif] Dear Adrian, Well, that's close, but no cigar. Nonetheless, you are forgiven, although not rehired. (It seems you are doing quite well as freelance paparazzi, anyway.) Enclosed is an invitation to my wife's birthday bash. Do come, but try to stay out of Millerna's way. She eats photographers for breakfast. ;) Dryden I walked through the pavilions checking on the preparations for Millie's party. Everything looked great. But what was this? Eries was pouring a bottle into the punchbowl. I rather doubted the caterers would approve. I walked silently over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped. "What are you doing, dearest sister-in-law?" I asked her. She hid the remaining half-full bottle behind her back and shoved the empty bottles under the tablecloth with her toe. "Why, nothing at all, dearest brother-in-law. You want some punch? I made it myself." I scooped a cup through the fizzing brew and sipped. Sweet! I said, "Wow. Can't taste the booze at all." I offered the cup to Eries. "Care to test your recipe?" Eries took the cup from me and tossed the liquid down her throat. She grinned. "Purrrrrrrfect!" Hmm. I guess I still know shit about women. Eries is a party girl? Oh, my... [http://i.imgur.com/bM33RZe.gif] I got lots of interesting and lovely presents at my birthday party, but only Dryden's made me laugh myself sick. "I can't believe you gave me a watch with a picture of yourself in it. You egotist!" "But do you like it?" "Yeah. It matches yours," I said. "Well, that was the idea." [http://i.imgur.com/M7ZQHip.gif] I walked around and showed the watch to all my friends. None of them seemed to quite grasp what was so fun about it, though, even when I pointed out how Dryden was holding up four fingers in the little picture. Oh, well. Eventually I just hung the watch chain round my neck and went around greeting all the nice people who had bothered to come to my party. "Allen! Hi!" "Hi, Millerna! How have you been!" "Great! I just got back all my test scores and I had a really great year! Usually tests scare me, but I think from now on I'm actually going to be looking forward to them! What about you? I haven't seen you in forever. How are things?" "Oh, fine. But I have been worried about you. How have you been? Are you happy?" "What?" What a strange thing for him to say. "Yes, of course. I was just telling you how great things were going." "You said things were going well at school, but there's other aspects of your life. How are you holding up? Really, you can tell me." [http://i.imgur.com/sGtWGFK.gif] Allen took a step towards me then and I backed up a step and then another and then I ran into someone. It was Dryden. "Hello... Allen. Whatcha all talking about?" Dryden put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. I could feel him through his coat, warm and solid, pressing against my back. I said, "Allen wants to know if I'm really happy." "Oh, yeah? And what did you tell him?" asked Dryden with polite interest. "Well, I told him that I was happy, but I don't know that he believes me." [http://i.imgur.com/Detb7Iz.gif] "Uh-huh. Well, Allen, if my wife says she's happy, then she means she's happy. But we thank you for your concern." "Oh. I see. ...So, Millerna, you were saying that you now enjoy tests?" "Yes," I said. I twined my arm back around Dryden's waist. "My husband taught me a few of his favorite studying techniques. They work really well." "Oh. ...I see." Dryden grinned. "Hey, Allen, I've been meaning to tell you, that advice you gave me so long ago, about proximity and stuff... That was spot on! Thanks so much!" "Uh... you're welcome," said Allen. We talked a bit longer and then Allen excused himself and vanished into the crowd. Dryden looked like he was trying to repress the giggles. "Proximity?" I asked him. "I was twisting the knife a bit. Couldn't resist." "Did you see his face when I put my arm around you?" I said. "Yes, I did. I noted it with immense pleasure." "How did you know to come rescue me?" "My dear, every man here registered Allen's entrance and immediately took ten steps closer to his girl. Allen needs to go get himself married off. Preferably to a beautiful woman who wields a choke-chain." "Mmm. Too bad I only know nice girls. And here's one now!" I said. "Look! It's my fabulous friend, Koumori! Come be delighted to see her with me!" "Oh, I'm always delighted." [http://i.imgur.com/ybCSvkU.gif] [http://i.imgur.com/Zl3QvMa.gif] Three cups of Fanelian courage and I still hadn't managed to ask Allen to dance. Allen walked right past me, unseeing, one more time. I would have sighed in frustration, but someone standing next to me did it for me. I looked up. [http://i.imgur.com/00BoFKX.gif] It was Allen's sergeant, Gadeth. I poked him and nodded my head towards Allen's retreating figure. "You?" I said. "Oh, shit. Is it so obvious?" said Gadeth in tones of resigned horror. "Just to me. Same boat." "Really?" He looked relieved. "I wonder, Gadeth, have you ever considered..." I leaned close and whispered in his ear. [http://i.imgur.com/lzq9HS4.gif] His eyes widened. "Interesting! Um... Might we take this conversation out to the garden? If anyone overhears us, I'll just die." Gadeth grabbed my arm and we ran away from the party. I watched Millerna talk her way through the crowd. Eventually she broke away, came over, sat down at the table I had snagged next to the dance floor, and started talking to me. "Eileen switched shoes with me. We have the same size feet, too." "Uh-huh," I said. "I suppose this is kind of a long party. How are you holding up? Your leg okay? You're not in pain, are ya?" "No, I'm fine," I said. I'd been on my feet all day, talking to everyone. I'd missed having a nap that afternoon. I really was fine, just a bit tired, but I wasn't paying attention to much, just watching the people go round and round. "You probably don't get enough exercise," she said. "Mmm." "Nothing like a little dancing to get you a little exercise." I kept on looking out over the crowd. Sometimes I can be just a tad obtuse. But, bless her little heart, Millerna is sometimes just as persistent as I am. And just as unsubtle. "Am I going to have to ask YOU to dance, Dryden?" "What?" "I mean, here I am in Eileen's high heels and my birthday suit, I mean my birthday dress, and my husband isn't asking me to dance! What's with you?" Oh!"I'm asking! I'm asking!" I said. She took my hand, walked out onto the floor with me and even let me lead. "Sorry," I said, "I was assuming you didn't much care for dancing with me." She smiled up at me. "I've only had the opportunity once before. Not much off a sample, really." "Yeah, I guess," I said. "Dryden, I like dancing with you." "Oh." Well, all right! [http://i.imgur.com/kNOkDUM.gif] Dryden ran his hand up and down my back one more time. Yeeeeow! "I love this dress. It turned out very well," he said. "Eileen must be quite exactly your size." "You look nice, too. Your waistcoat matches my dress suspiciously well, dontcha think?" I said. He grinned. "Funny that, huh." "How the heck did you get my designer to make that up for you? She won't do rush jobs for love or money." "I just asked her nicely," he said. "Yeah, right, ya pirate." "Let's just say that everybody's got something that they want. And I'm not a pirate." "Uh-huh. Pirate." He showed me his teeth, I wouldn't have called it a grin. "Call me that again and I'll board you," he said. "...pirate?" I said. Dryden picked me up by the elbows and swung me off my feet. I had a sudden visceral memory of that moment during our wedding when the buildings started collapsing around us and Dryden had picked me up... and I had been wearing that enormous wedding dress, and the gold encrusted cloak, a gold headdress, and enormous scary-looking shoes. Brides walk slowly 'cause they don't have a choice. It had all been so heavy that I had barely been able to move. ...But Dryden had picked me up as if I weighed nothing and he'd run with me. And fast. This time he put me down outside the circle of dancers and he bent down towards me. "I think I've made it quite clear that if you call me a pirate, then you'll have to pay the toll. Seems you want to pay the toll. Hold still," he said. He's been injured for months. But there's not a thing wrong with him now. Eeek! [http://i.imgur.com/5oILYJ4.gif] But Dryden was staring at me distrustfully. "What can you be thinking that you are making a face like that? Well, I'm not so stupid that I'd attempt to kiss you in public and get my sorry ass nastily repulsed again! Oh no, I've got some pride. But I'm not a pirate and you owe me one. You'll just have to pay the toll on your own time. Eventually." Oh. Kissing was all he was thinking of. I'm the one with the dirty mind. "I'll pay the toll now," I said and I jumped a bit and pressed my lips to his. "Hmm. Kind of short and there wasn't any tongue," Dryden said. "You look gift horses in the mouth, don't you? Never, ever satisfied." "That's not true. I merely haven't been satisfied YET." He bent down towards me again, and then jerked upright as the air was split by a shocking, clanging racket. I started giggling helplessly. Eries, who always enjoys acting as Master-of- Ceremonies at a party, was banging a gong. "Look, it's time for cake!" I said gaily. Dryden sighed. "More sugar. Just what you need. I wonder, how jittery can you get?" Pay the toll, eh? Hmm... [http://i.imgur.com/wDEZTpz.gif] After the cake, the dancing started up again and I walked through the crowd looking for beautiful single women. They weren't thick on the ground this evening. [http://i.imgur.com/q23LKgw.gif] Hey, looks like Gadeth has found a friend. Wow, look at the fangs on Eries! Hope she doesn't bite him too bad. 'Course Gadeth's half Fanelian, so he probably likes that kind of thing. "Fire! Oh, wow!" someone squealed. It was the voice of my sister, Serena. I turned around and went to go check on her one more time. I can't help it. It's instinct. I mean, what if she was at the appetizer tables eating all the escargot? It could happen. Serena was staring happily at a big glossy picture she held in her hands. A young boy was staring happily at her. He said, "I've got lots more, Serena. You want to come look at them with me?' [http://i.imgur.com/eR6Kj9u.gif] "Oh-KAY! What was your name again?" said Serena. "Adrian." "Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. Okay! Hi, brother! I'm going to go look at pictures with Adrian. Bye-bye." "I'll bet. Have fun, sis. Adrian, touch my sister and you die. Slowly." "Eeek!" said Adrian. Serena stepped in between us. "Oh, Bruuuther. That's real sweet and all, Allen, but I'll be fine. So this time-" Her dulcet soprano voice suddenly dropped into an alto growl. "you can just take a hike! Off a cliff would be just swell!" She resumed in her previous girlish tones, "I'll be back later! Bye-bye!" Those fencing lessons have been real good for her.Yeah, right. I watched her walk off with Adrian and shuffle through his stack of pictures. "Ooh! Fire! Ooh! Carnage! Ooh! Alseides!!! Oh, I like you, Adrian. Ooh! More fire! Oh, wow!" Serena says I'm annoying, but I still worry about her. Serena and her new beau walked into a lighted pavilion. I followed discreetly and stood outside listening. "Ooh! Oreades! You were at that last battle?" she said. "Yeah! I'm a photographer for the paper. And I'm a bigfan, Dill- ...um. ...Serena." "If you call me Dilly, you have to pay the toll." said Serena in this... hot, sultry voice. Aaaagh! "...Uh... Dilly?" said Adrian. *SMUK* "Oooooh! Dilly, Dilly, Dilly!" said Adrian. "Oh, you naughty, greedy boy! Come here and get what's coming to you." Oh, god. Gimme strength. I bet you thought I was gonna charge on in there, didn't you? Bet you thought I was going to go try to protect my little sister's honour? Yeah, right. I've been having nasty fights with Serena...with Dilly... for weeks. Dilly is about as much fun as a piñata filled with bees. Bleah. I walked away, got myself a drink of punch or two and then I went and sat down at the kiddy table. Or at any rate, at a table with no kissing, with Van and Merle. "Gosh, this party sucks. There are absolutely no beautiful single women left here," I said. Merle's tail poofed out at that. She said, "And what am I? Chopped liver?" Van jumped in then. "Yeah! You have insulted Merle! I challenge you to a duel!" I said, "I don't want to have another swordfight with you, Van. You never last long enough to make it any fun."Oh my God! I can't believe I said that! What was IN that punch? [http://i.imgur.com/B4ium48.gif] "That's it, Schezar! Your ass is mine!" said Van. He's been drinking the punch, too. Oh, greaaaaaaaat. I definitely should have stayed home tonight. I could have washed my hair. The stars were out. Half of the guests had left, and judging by the many feet protruding from under the shrubberies, a large portion of the remaining guests were camped out in the garden. Eries was nowhere to be seen, which was very strange. Usually she would play hostess with me till the very end. I wonder if she's somewhere in the garden. The few guests still partying on were playing with fireworks. Van and Allen were having a swashbuckling swordfight with sparklers. The terms seemed to be whoever got lit on fire first lost, not that they looked like they were taking it real seriously. It was swashbuckling with major emphasis on the swash. Dad had long since gone to bed. Dryden was sitting on the steps of the dais where my Dad had spent the day. I climbed up the steps and sat down next to him. Dryden was watching Serena, some kid who had been dancing with Serena all night, and Merle, who were all shooting off bottle rockets and other assorted fireworks. I had no idea who had brought the explosives. Probably the same person who spiked the punch. "Pretty," I said, "But it looks dangerous." [http://i.imgur.com/IM4V2tG.gif] "If they blow their heads off, we'll just make them new steel ones. We have the technology." I laughed. "Only their mothers will be able to tell the difference." Dryden put his arm around me and pulled. Oh, yes. Four minutes. I climbed into his lap. "Did you have a nice birthday?" he asked me. "Lovely. You have fun?" He nodded his head. "This is one of the things I missed most when I was away traveling. You all really know how to throw a party here." "They don't throw parties in other countries?" I asked. "Oh, they probably do. I just wasn't invited." "They don't invite pirates to parties?" "...I guess not," Dryden said and was silent for a while. Time passed, tick, tick, tick, tick, and then he spoke again. "What would you say if I told you that I didn't care at all for being called a pirate and that I wished you'd stop it?" "Well, I like pirates," I said. Which is true. I've got a whole shelf full of pirate stories in my room leftover from when I was a kid. "But I don't want to make you unhappy, so I'll do as you ask. I'm darned sorry to lose an excuse to kiss you, though." His cheek was pressed against mine. I could feel his grin appear. "You don't need an excuse, Millie," he said. He lifted his cheek from mine and turned me a little on his lap so I was facing him. He licked his lips and kissed me for a bit. He tasted of the alternative to punch, barely sweetened mint tea. He touched the tip of his tongue to my lips, through them... I pulled back, startled. He tilted his head back a bit and looked at me for a while, and then he smiled and leaned in again. I looked down and away from him, but he just kissed my ear, my neck, my cheek. He touched two fingers to my chin and I let him tilt my mouth up to his again. [http://i.imgur.com/jTYabkb.gif] He pressed his lips to mine and nibbled and I shut my eyes and kissed him back. I put my tongue out, as he had done, touched it to his lips and his lips parted. He met my tongue with his and then withdrew it, which somehow enticed mine to follow his all the way into his mouth. Well, this is odd. I drew my tongue back out. He made a little noise of protest... so I put my tongue back in his mouth and kissed him some more. Or he kissed me. ...After a while I utterly lost track of whose tongue was whose and where. [http://i.imgur.com/DuyUqtP.gif] When I finally pulled away, he was flushed and breathing hard. He smiled, but there were tears in his eyes. "You okay?" I asked. "Oh, yes!" he said. "But... .you look..." "I've been waiting for that particular kiss for rather a long time. Forgive me if I'm a little overcome. ...um. ... Wow!" "Yeah." I felt almost too full to speak my thoughts of the experience, but somehow, however ungracefully, I had to get some words out. "Um... I still don't feel ready to have sex yet." "Eeengh. Eventually. Whenever." He sighed happily and squeezed me, which made me sigh happily. I kept trying to talk. "But..." I must have spent too much time looking at all the feet under the shrubberies. "...uh...I was thinking, would you snuggle with me? Maybe sleep with me?" Dryden raised his eyebrows at me. "Just sleep with you, you mean? And not touch you?" "I guess. Yeah." "I can't do it," he said, with a really odd expression on his face. Half appalled, half delighted. Uh-oh. "Why?" "Um... I'm married to you, I love you and I want you. There's no way I can get into a bed with you and NOT try to consummate this marriage. You're asking too much of me." "Oh. Hmm," I said and looked down at my knees. "Maybe I shouldn't have kissed you." "Aaaaaaaaaagh! Yes, you should have! It was wonderful! And I can keep waiting. Just... just... not IN your bed, if that's okay?" "Yeah, okay. Sorry. I don't mean to torture you. It's only that I- I..." I love you, too. ...I think. Aaaaaah! I can't speak! "Just kiss me again, eh?" [http://i.imgur.com/lO45JSa.gif] So I kissed him again. So, now she's kissing me. And all the time. Every day. And kissing me like she means it even, sweet and long and with lots of tongue. It is the finest torture a man has ever endured. I have once or twice (okay, maybe more than that) excused myself after a kissing session to run into her bathroom with the taste of her mouth still in mine, the smell of her hair still in my nose, the clear memory of the feel of her sitting on my lap in those tight black pants she wears... Aiiiiiii! Thank god for these voluminous robes. I don't think she knows what I'm doing in here. And I always remember to lock the door. [http://i.imgur.com/DVYOlaO.gif] Gee. He's taken to locking the door. I wonder why... I don't think I'll ask him. He'll tell me the truth. Dryden's birthday was a month after mine. He didn't want another great big party (we were still quite partied out from my birthday); he said he just wanted to go out for dinner and a show, which sounded fine to me. I decided to wear the same dress I'd worn for my birthday, since it was still my best dress and I hadn't worn it since. Dryden's mother had sent Dryden new clothes for his birthday, but evidently, it was only because I had expressed such enthusiasm about them and insisted so much that he put them on for the occasion. ...It was a mistake. "Well, I'm ready," he said when he showed up in my sitting room. [http://i.imgur.com/nD9CLuq.gif] "Oh, God," I said. Dryden looked... well, I was just glad I'd given him books for his birthday. "What?" he said. He didn't look up. "Those clothes look lovely and you would look lovely in them, if you didn't look so darned depressed." "Um. I haven't dressed like this since I was 17. It's just... I feel like an Allen-wannabe. An unsuccessful one." "Forget it then! Go change." "...Really?" "Yes!" "Are you sure?" he asked, finally lifting his head up enough to look me in the eye. "Aaaaagh! I can't stand seeing you look like that! I want my arrogant Dryden who walks into a room like he owns it. Take that stuff off. Now! I'm not going out with you looking like that!" His eyes widened, then he grabbed my hand, kissed it and fled the room. Dryden returned just a few minutes later, dressed properly as Dryden, wearing the waistcoat that suspiciously matched my birthday dress. I guess it was only appropriate that we both wore our birthday suits out. "Better?" I asked him. "Oh, man! You have NO idea!" "I think I do, actually." Was it only a few years ago that I gave up on being ladylike, tossed all the sidesaddles in the stable into the river and bought some riding pants? I'd expected to receive a lot more grief about it than I had. Perhaps the people who loved me were more concerned with my aspect than my attire... Dryden tucked his dangling sleeve into his sash and his tongue into his cheek and he performed for me a splendidly pompous salute. "Is this the walk-into-a- room-like-I-own-it look that you like?" he asked. [http://i.imgur.com/KrppR9n.gif] "Yeah, that's the one." "Great! Let's go put it into practice. If we like the restaurant, let's buy it. Frankly, I don't think they'll be good enough for us to buy. I hear they use paper napkins. Let us go now." "And you call ME an over-actor!" [http://i.imgur.com/vpogzNn.gif] The restaurant did not, in fact, use paper napkins and their food was quite good, but nevertheless we did not buy the place. We had not made a reservation, but gosh, somehow they were kind enough to fit us in. (Do you think maybe they recognized us?) Dryden had bought tickets to the theatre for afterwards, and I almost fell over when I saw what he had chosen. A silly musical. About pirates. I giggled all the way up the steps to the box seats. "Hey, a horse! ...Made ya look." I suppose that you are really supposed to sit quietly before the show and laugh raucously during it, but we do everything backwards. ***** Wind and Water ***** Card Twelve Wind and Water Ace of Cups Be wary, young sailor, Of wind and high water. The sea has a secret, The sea has a daughter. She'll swim along starboard, And capture your heart. With a flip of her tail-fin, Underwater, depart. ~Unknown. I was reading another book from the Mystic Moon, a quaint little folklore and divination book, that anchored people's personalities to the year and day and time of birth. So I got out my calendars and charts and figured out how I'd be categorized according to this alien calendar. As far as I could figure, I was born in the Mystic Moon year of the Rat which would make me charming, funny, skillful and possibly horribly greedy. Hehe! Yeah, that sounds about right. So then I thought I'd look up Millerna. She was born in the Mystic Moon year of the Horse and was supposed to be obstinate, tactless, hardworking and extremely likable. Yup! I kept going. Merle was a courageous and vivacious Cockerel. Allen and Eries were more charming Rats, Van and Hitomi were altruistic wishy- washy Goats, and Gadeth was a loyal Dog. Folken, a Monkey, too clever for his own good. I was really having quite a chuckle at this little book. What fun! So I slogged on through the translation, until I got to the marital compatibility charts. Oh, boy. ...Bummer. The book said that Horses and Rats were not compatible at all, that they'd have endless trouble and lots of difficulty communicating. Skeptic though I claim to be, I can't tell you how disappointing I found that. I don't even subscribe to the book's alien religion, and I hate to think of myself as superstitious, but honestly, I would much rather have read something nice and auspicious and comforting. [http://i.imgur.com/YTutotI.gif] Dammit, I am so tired of other people deciding my fate. They always get it wrong. [http://i.imgur.com/kUKP1DO.gif] "Do you really think he'll go for us, Eries?" "Do you think he's had a better offer?" "Um. ...No. Everybody thinks he's a slut and won't go near him. Kind of odd, really. I don't think he's gotten much more than a couple of kisses the whole time I've known him." "Maybe the press pinned that reputation on him because he's so gorgeous." "Could be. So how are we going to ask him?" "Well, that's the hard part, isn't it?" "You're not kidding. ...We could try more alcohol." "Couldn't hurt." Dryden's horse was in the stables, so I knew he was somewhere in the palace, but he wasn't in library. He wasn't in his room. None of the pages had seen him. I finally found him out on our balcony. (Last place you look, right?) He was reading a book and drinking lemonade. No shirt. Oooh. I dragged a chair over to him. He's got almost invisible freckles all across his shoulders. The hairs on the backs of his arms are blonde and shine against his tan. There are only a few light brown hairs on his chest and they are barely visible, almost the same colour as his skin. I was rather expecting more considering all the whiskers. Not that I'm disappointed. I scooched my chair closer. [http://i.imgur.com/ilBFV9e.gif] "Good book?" I asked him. "No." "What's it about?" "Theory on the demise of Atlantis," he said. "Sounds like just your speed. Why don't you like it?" "It's poorly researched, inaccurate, badly written and the guy can't spell." "So why are you reading it?" "Because I have to. This guy is refuting my work." "You wrote a book, too?" "No, I just wrote a paper. It was groundbreaking, brilliant and concise. Unlike this." Dryden hefted the rather thick book. "This debacle is just a waste of trees." "Can I have some lemonade?" "Sure, help yourself." He handed me his glass, which was empty except for the ice, and I stepped around him to grab the pitcher off the little table. Dryden kept talking, "I mean, listen to this: It is another world entirely, and it is enclosed within this one; it is in a sense a universal retreating mirror image of this one, with a peculiar geography I can only describe as infundibular. Infundibular?!!! Excuse me? Say what?" "Dryden!" I squeaked and the lemonade overflowed my glass, ran over my hand and splashed on the table. I stopped pouring. "What? You getting some insight into this seeming nonsense? I'm getting nothing here. Don't tell me the mysteries of the universe are unfolding before you?" "You're not wearing any pants!" He looked up at me then and smiled. "Now that's an interesting non sequitur. Either that or else the best compliment I've ever received in my life." "No! Why aren't you wearing any pants?" "It's hot. ...You're darn lucky I'm wearing anything. If it gets another few degrees hotter, I won't be. Aren't you hot? Why are you wearing all that? Take something off." He grabbed the hem of my shorts and tugged. "No!" He shrugged and turned back to his book. "Fashion slave. So anyway, this guy not only cites my paper incorrectly, he takes everything I said out of context in order to refute it. And, assuming that wasn't a very elaborate group hallucination, then we have actually been to Atlantis, and he hasn't, so-" "-Dryden?" "...What is it, darling?" He tossed the book onto the table. It started soaking up lemonade. "Am I really a fashion slave?" "Have you seen your closet? You've got more shoes than all the horses in the stable put together." "Do you think that's weird?" "I think you're about average for a princess. Don't worry about it, darling." "...Why do you call me 'darling?'" "Uh... I hadn't really thought about it. I guess that's what my father calls my mother. ...uh... Do you mind?" "No, I don't mind. ...Meiden says 'darling'?!" "Sure. Why wouldn't he?" "It's just hard to imagine. I mean, Meiden is so... um... different from your mother." "Gosh, your diplomacy lessons have sunk in almost too well. I think what you're trying to say is: Dryden, your dad is so extraordinarily butt-ugly, how in the world did he land a catch like your mother? It must be one of those opposites attract things. Also, my mother is always SO very happy to see him that I suspect he must have..." Dryden picked up the edge of his habayah and slowly uncovered one brown leg. "...hidden talents," he finished archly. I grabbed his habayah out of his hand and tucked it back around him. "Aw. You're not gonna kiss my knee again? How sad." I kissed his mouth instead. It was delicious, kissing him is always delicious, but afterwards he opened his eyes, raised an eyebrow and said, "Ah. A toll. What is it that you want?" Sheesh! How could he tell?I said, "Eries wants to have her birthday party at the beach. She's got a little beach house out on the Amici coast. It's like five hundred miles away, though. She wanted me to ask you if you might take us all there on the Corsair." "Yeah, sure. No problem." Dryden picked up his book again, which hadn't taken well to lying in water with its spine cracked open. Pages started falling out of the cheaply bound book and disintegrating over his lap. Dryden frowned at it and then brightened. "Ah, yes. Suicide. The only honorable way out for a book this bad." "So will you come to Eries's beach party? As well as taking us all there?" I asked. "Sandfleas. Bleah. The undertow. Bleah," he said. "I'll be in a swimsuit." "...Wouldn't miss it for the world," he said. Oooh! I bent over him again. [http://i.imgur.com/iFpjGty.gif] "You remember everything else; why can't you remember to shave?" "Maybe I like it when pretty girls pull my whiskers." "Pervert," she said. "You started it. I was just standing here all innocent-like and you come along and start getting all touchy... No, no. Don't stop." "See, you are a pervert." "Well, if you say so. I'm not sure I'd know a pervert if I saw one, but I trust your opinion." "...Just what are you implying?" "Why, that it takes one to know one, of course. Yeee! No, I'm NOT ticklish!" Hooey. It's all absolute hooey. I looked it up. My parents are a Horse and Rat, too. And they've been happily pulling each other's tails for nigh on thirty years now. Hooey, I say. [http://i.imgur.com/68WzcnL.gif] Merle and I were invited to Princess Eries's birthday party. We went, mostly because Merle wanted to go. We showed up in Pallas with everyone else and boarded the Corsair. Merle says she loves beach parties. What a weird kitty. [http://i.imgur.com/hglEuMW.gif] The Corsair is a beautiful ship, especially at night with the lanterns hanging all over the upper decks and sending flashing glints all over the brass. I leaned against the butt of the bowsprit. Even that was fancy, carved in the shape of a sea-dragon and all painted. Very beautiful. Bleah. When we had all boarded the ship earlier I had tossed my duffel into my usual quarters, Millerna had tossed hers into the cabin next to mine... and Allen had watched us putting our stuff into separate rooms. And how exactly did that make me feel? Defensive? A bit. Angry? Not exactly. Embarrassed? Yes. Humiliated? Well, I wouldn't go that far. Jealous? Hmmmm. Yup. I'm jealous of Allen. Allen, who can have any woman he wants. Gallant, handsome, twit Allen. And then there's me. Married for a year. Twenty-two year old virgin. How pathetic... Right. This ain't profitable. At least I have my health. Let's see, what else? Um... this lovely airship. Wow, has it really been a whole year since I've traveled by airship? Spent five whole years on airships before I got married. ...I miss traveling. ...How is it possible that I miss sex even more and I've never even had it? Auuugh! Right. Lovely, lovely airship. Oh, hell. ...Well, I could go jerk off or I could have a cold shower. Those seem to be my options. ...Neither one really floats my boat. Weeeeeeeeeell. I could just stand here unmoving. The wind tumbled and eddyied over the stacked decks of the ship and blew my clothes randomly around. I couldn't tell the wind direction at all this low, so I leaned against the railing and looked up at the anemometer. I looked up further and checked our direction against the stars, tried to recall the coastline map in the navigation room, and did calculations in my head. Distance equals rate times time. It used to be a game I'd play: plot a night course and see where I'd end up in the morning. I used to be good at it. I guess we'll see. "Hey." I looked down to see Millerna at the top of the ladder. The moonlight bleached her hair to silver, but turned her blue eyes black. "Pretty night." "Uh. Yeah, I guess so." "Can I come up?" she asked. "Of course." She jumped up the last rungs and onto the deck. She put her arm around my waist and leaned against me. "Why do you stand at the front here and look back at the ship? Why don't you look out where we are going?" I said, "It's no fun to be able to see the future. It ruins the surprise. Besides, it's a very pretty ship." [http://i.imgur.com/Lda5tIG.gif] "Well, that's true," she said, but she turned in my arms, putting her back to the ship. She wasn't looking where we were going, either. Her eyes were shut; she stood on tiptoe. You know, if I had followed the original plan then I wouldn't have returned to Asturia and gotten married until Millie turned eighteen... so, technically, I'm getting some damn fine kissing a whole year ahead of schedule! How about that! I can never go to sleep on a moving airship, I always end up restlessly walking around for a few hours until I eventually feel ready to fall over. So I was pacing through the halls when I saw Millerna leave her stateroom. I followed her. I intended to catch up with her, but I guess she knew the Corsair better than I did, and I lost her for a minute. When I caught sight of her again, she was climbing up to the forecastle deck. I saw her walk right into Dryden's arms. I stood there for a minute and then I turned around and went back to the quarter deck. I know better now and I've known better before. That loose hold is unbreakable. [http://i.imgur.com/wFWGyEU.gif] Why do I keep traveling in the same lousy patterns? Because this is exactly, EXACTLY the same. I didn't even know what I had with Marlene until way, way after she had left Asturia, not until I happened to visit her a year later and saw her in the arms of her husband looking... just like that. Why am I like this? In a hurry to die and always too late for love. I just can't get this right. Dryden had lent me his bandana so I could braid my hair up, but he didn't help us set up the volleyball net. Everyone else helped and that might have been too many people helping anyway, because it took us rather a long time before the net didn't just topple over into the surf. Once we had it set, I ran up the beach to fetch Dryden. "Come play!" I said. "No thanks." He'd put down his book to talk to me, but he wasn't moving. I pouted. "You know, if you don't play, Eries's team will slaughter us." "Tough. I don't want to play." "Why not?" "I don't feel like it." "...Dryden, it's a beach party. Playing in the water is the whole point." "Oh. Well in that case, I'll go home." He got up and started walking back towards the house. I looked down and I stood there flabbergasted. He forgot his book! His favorite book! I ran after him and grabbed his elbow. "Okay. What is going on with you?" "Nothing! I don't want to talk about it!" "I don't think so. Spill it. Now, husband!" [http://i.imgur.com/RDZP2pE.gif] But Dryden just looked sideways at the rest of the party, who were all staring at us expectantly. Hmmm. Months ago, I probably would not have even noticed, but now the moment seemed an impossibly huge intersection of possibilities, any of which I could choose, any of which would betray what my priorities were. "How about we go for a walk?" I said. "What about the volleyball game?" "Screw the volleyball game." He smiled faintly at that and let me take his hand and pull him over to where everyone was waiting. I said to them, "Bye, guys. Dryden and I are going for a walk. I abdicate as team captain. I appoint Serena. Pick the teams again. Come get us when you're done and I'll start cooking dinner." They all looked at each other, but before they could say anything, I turned and walked off. I curled my arm round Dryden's waist and drew him off down the beach. He seemed happy enough to go. Once we were definitely out of earshot I said, "Can you swim, Dryden?" "...not... really." "Oh. ...Does not really mean not at all?" "...um. Yeah." "Is that the whole story?" "...no." "So?" "Um... I told you my dad is a great horseman? He's great at everything else, too. But I... well, you name a sport, he tried it on me. And I sucked at them all. I just had lousy hand-eye coordination as a kid. It was no fun, so I just took to avoiding him whenever possible, lest he drag me off for yet another excruciating experience. But my dad...wanted to find SOME sport I could do with him, I guess... so one day he took me out on his buddy's sailing boat... which I rather liked... until he picked me up and threw me into the water. You know, that sink or swim thing. I totally wasn't expecting it." "Oh. What happened?" "I sank." He was so deadpan that I had to force myself not to laugh. There was a twinkle in his eye as he said that, but still, I didn't laugh. "Um. Did you try to swim then?" I said. "Oh, yeah! You bet. ...Didn't work." "So, then what?" "Um... Have you ever tried drowning?" "Nooooo." "I don't recommend it." "Uh? ...You...you..." "I breathed in a whole lot of water... which hurts a lot more than you'd ever suspect and I... then everything went dark... and, uh... I woke up on the beach with my father walloping the life back into me. ...He pretty much left me alone after that." "Oh. So you haven't been swimming much since, eh?" "Try AT ALL!" "Well, gosh! Why did you even agree to come to this party?" "...I wanted to be with you." Oh!... "Well, that's just an awful story. He could have killed you. It makes me angry just thinking about it. I bet you must feel..." I sputtered to a stop. He was looking at me like I'd grown a second head. "Whaaaaaat?" I said. "Hey, I'm Dryden. I don't DO bitter." I stared at him, and then I slowly bent over and grabbed my stomach, crying with laughter. "You are such a card." "Oh, yeah? Which one?" Dryden looked quite pleased. "No, really. My father comes from a long and illustrious line of imbeciles. It's only to be expected that he made idiotic parenting mistakes. At least he fished me out, right? And it's not like he wasn't sorry. ...Course that might partly have been because my mother yowled at him for weeks about it." "So... you're not angry at your Dad about it all?" "Well, no. And it's not like karma didn't come back and bite him in the butt." "Like, how?" "A couple years ago, I bought up all the stock I could find from one of his favorite little companies, one that he ran personally and then I fired him. Hostile takeover." Dryden rocked on his heels and looked out at the horizon, grinning fondly at the memory. And he says he's not a pirate.God, I love that grin. "How'd your dad take it." "Better than I thought; he does have a sense of humour. ...I think he was planning on giving me that company eventually anyway." "Oh." I looked out at the ocean, too. It was so strewn with big black rough rocks here that the crashing surf came through sieved and smaller. The bottom was sandy and shallow and very gently inclined. A really big tidepool. Ooooh! I stepped in front of him and I unbuttoned his shirt, slipped it off him and pressed it into his hand. "Gosh! And what of yours shall I take off for you?" he said and he reached out and snapped the elastic on the leg of my swimsuit. [http://i.imgur.com/KLpzpas.gif] Ooooh! Yowie!I told my knees to ignore the reverberation of that elastic and I undid the knots of his sash. Dryden slid his fingers under one of my shoulderstraps and pulled it down my arm. "Such a nice little swimsuit. I could peel you like a grape," he said. [http://i.imgur.com/zaZwYYb.gif] Aiii! I shrugged my strap back up, folded his clothes and dropped them in the sand. Then I backed into the water. He just watched me, blankly. I said, "Just come in a little bit with me." He shook his head. I stood knee-deep in the water and the waves were so dinky that my suit didn't even get wet. "Come on. It's not even as deep as a bathtub." "No, thank you." "Please?" "NO!" Oh, maaaaan! Well...... What can't he say no to? Hmm. Well, I'll give it a shot. I sloshed back to him, till the water was only ankle deep, and then I lay down on my side, put my hand on my hip and a coquettish smile on my face. And then I chanted, "Would you kiss me in the sea? I have kissed you for a fee. I have kissed you on the knee. I love you, don't you love me? Could you, would you, let me be? Will you kiss me in the sea?" He blinked. "That was terrible... Absolutely terrible... I don't think I can resist." "Oh, good," I said and batted my eyelashes at him outrageously. He rolled his eyes at me, but dropped his glasses onto his pile of clothes and stepped into the water. "Well, I guess these are pretty small waves," he said as he sat down next to me. [http://i.imgur.com/6gBphwf.gif] "Do I get a kiss now or do I have to make up some more bad poetry?" "Ooooh! Do I get iambic pentameter?" "Oh, just come here." "Not even a haiku, huh?" he said, and then, "Mmmph!" as I silenced him. I leaned back into water, and his lips followed mine. The little tidepool waves licked at us, but then all the water pulled away, gathered into a bigger wave and rolled over us. I held my breath, but he didn't remove his arms from around me, he just squeezed me tighter and kissed me again. The cool water felt electric and did not cool me off at all. [http://i.imgur.com/8U1B3D4.gif] He kissed me and kissed me for what felt like forever but it still wasn't long enough. He broke free for a moment when another biggish wave rolled over us. I wriggled and panted, almost weeping in frustration. Aaaaii! "What is it?" he asked me. I said, "My swimsuit is filled with sand," and felt disappointed at my automatic evasion. But Dryden was too cunning to easily let go of even such an oblique hint as that. "Where exactly?" he said playfully. "Down at the bottom." He swung his leg over mine and pressed his canvas-covered thigh between mine. "What, here?" Another bigger wave that lifted me off the sand, floated me momentarily against him. "Ye-eh-eh-eh-es!" "Maybe I can help you with that?" he said. It felt like I was on fire, like the ocean should have been hissing around me. "Please!" I said and he moved against me. Aaah! Not quite right....I tilted my hips up, desperate, clamourous. Oh, yum. "Sand going away yet?" "I don't know," I said, not quite willing to admit how perfect it felt. "It feels like you've got a whole sandcastle in your bathing suit." "No," he said in my ear, "There's no sand at all in my shorts." "Eeeep!" I said, and he must have thought I was really scared or something, because he pulled away -Aiii! Right at the wrong moment!- I grabbed at him, but then another wave hit us and slammed him back into me. "Unnnngh!" I said and shook under him. "What?!!" he said. "What was-" "-Tide c-c-coming in," I said. "Oh!" He giggled and pressed me into the sand. I opened my eyes then, and so I had a seconds warning and I didn't jump the way Dryden did when Eries said, "Hmm. So when she says 'Dryden and I are going for a walk' what she means is 'Dryden and I going to go have some nookie.'" [http://i.imgur.com/blyfVQM.gif] "Dammit! Go away!" Dryden said to the world at large and most especially to the fence of legs around us. He looked at me." I thought you said this was a private beach." "Yeah, well. Next time we won't bring friends," I said. Eries poked me with her foot. "Come on, Millie. You said you'd cook. Do I have to fix the chow for my own birthday?" "I DID say I'd cook, " I said to Dryden. "No!" he said. "Aaugh! Dammit, dammit, dammit!" He crouched over me and didn't move. He looked ferociously annoyed. "Er... You... aren't... prepared to leave yet?" Another wave crashed over us, but this time it was just cold water. Dryden looked up at our giggling audience sourly. "Unfortunately I AM prepared to leave now." He sighed and then he visibly gathered up his usual good humour, and stood and offered me his hand. [http://i.imgur.com/pTNPISj.gif] "So, how much sand do you have in your swimsuit?" he asked me. "None at all anymore." "Lucky you." he said and winked at me. I was sunburnt and so looked like I was blushing already. So we all walked back to the house and Millie went to go cook. I called first dibs on the shower and somehow no one argued with me. It was a tiny beachhouse with only one bathroom. There were only two bedrooms, as well. All the guys would be sleeping in one room, all the girls in another. I wasn't going to get anymore time alone with Millerna tonight. I looked around at the terra-cotta tiled bathroom. This was gonna pretty much be it for time alone with myself, too. Hmm. I took my opportunity to commune with myself for a while, which relieved my body, if not my soul. I left the bathroom feeling pretty happy, with clean wet hair and clean dry clothes. Gadeth jumped into the bathroom after me, looking sorely in need of some communing himself. Adrian stood waiting for a turn after him. Gosh. A line. Dryden walked into the kitchen and stopped cold, staring at me, Millerna and the disaster. "Good Lord! What is this?" he said. Millerna giggled. "When I requisitioned fresh chickens, I forgot to mention that I wanted them pre-plucked. Ooops. At least we didn't have to kill them." "You need any help?" Millerna picked a feather out of her mouth and said, "If you help us with this, you'll just need another shower. Van and I are half done anyway. You could take the corn away from the mess and start shucking. But first, come here. I want to tell you a secret." Dryden stepped over the piles of feathers. "Yeah?" "Closer," she said. [http://i.imgur.com/NiqUP3E.gif] Dryden glanced at me, shrugged and bent closer to Millerna. "There are feathers in your hair," he said. She ignored that and gave him a little kiss on the cheek, the chin, the lips, the other cheek. "That was the secret?" he asked her, smiling. "That was it." Dryden pulled a bottle out of the icebox, tucked it into the basket of corn, picked it up and went out the screen door, grinning. "Was that for my benefit?" I asked her. "No. His," said Millerna. "Well, bleah! I could just puke." "Sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all. She picked up another chicken. Serena poked her head in the door then and called, "Hey, Adrian, I found the lighter fluid! I'm gonna light the grill! Come help!" Adrian, who had been parked outside the bathroom, went running. I could hear Gadeth in the shower and everyone else was outside somewhere. We were, for the moment, actually alone. The best chance I'd had all day. Hmm. How should I put it? I took a deep breath and said, "Uh... Millerna, you ever done any fencing?" She was pulling feathers with great enthusiasm and she answered me rather inattentively. "Yeah, back when I was a kid. I haven't kept up with it at all, though." "Well, you know a skillful fencer is supposed to be able to pick up any old sword and do just fine with it... within reasonable limits I suppose, but-" "-Just what exactly are you trying to say, Van?" "...My advisors have been presenting me with princesses and duchesses and ...ladies. They want to arrange a marriage for me. And... and you're in an arranged marriage, so..." She scratched her head and sand fell out of her hair. "Oh. Um... I don't think I'm the right person for you to ask." "Why not? You-" "-I married Dryden for the good of the country. Asturia was desperately in need of a ruler who was rich, powerful, and more experienced than I was if we didn't want to get trampled. No offense, but after Dornkirk's death, Fanelia reverted to being a small, out-of-the-way, bucolic little country. You're not surrounded by vicious- Uh... you're not strategically located at all. You've got your work cut out for you what with the rebuilding, but other than that... well... You don't NEED to get married, Van." "But-" "Hey, if all your friends dove headfirst into a chipper-shredder would you do it, too?" "...But Dryden and you seem... pretty happy together," I said. She smiled and nodded inside her own personal feather blizzard. "Yeah. But honestly, Van, I think I just lucked out." "So you think I should wait for the right person?" "Or animal," she said and winked at me. Oh my God! How can she tell? [http://i.imgur.com/zJel6hu.gif] I walked over the summer-scorched and rather yellow lawn to the patio. It was surrounded by wild dog-roses, that, baking in the heat, sent up an invisible aromatic fence. Yum! I dropped the basket on the hot stone and sat down next to Merle and Allen. "What are you all drinking?" I asked. "I dunno. Eries and Gadeth were making them. They called it Magic Love Potion, alpha version," said Merle and she poked her tongue into her glass enthusiastically. The liquid was bright green and had a little paper umbrella in it. "Uh-oh. You be careful with that," I said and I popped open my beer. "They said mine was Love Potion Lite." "Ah. Yours is full-strength, eh, Allen?" He giggled inanely at me and then said, "So, Dryden, you're afraid of the water." Jerk. "So, Allen, you're afraid of intimacy." "Nevermind!" he sang. "Quite." [http://i.imgur.com/AJC4wFF.gif] The idiot was still smiling away, his inhibitions dissolved in alcohol. Grrr. I said, "Hey, I think the ocean water has made your hair turn a bit green." "What!?" Heh. That sobered him right up. "It's probably just the reflection off your drink," I said. "Oh, great. Now I have to go look," he said and started walking up to the house. "Gadeth's in the shower already," I called after him. "Oh, he won't mind if I just pop in." Good riddance. I turned to the little catlet. "So, Merle, shall we shuck some corn for the cook?" "Meru!" I like Merle. At first glance you wouldn't think we'd have much to say to one another, Merle and I, but strangely we share a lot of the same perspectives. Somehow Millie and I ended up doing the hosting duties for Eries's birthday dinner. Not that I minded; it was kind of fun. I poured drinks and passed them out and then handed out the plates that Millie loaded. I went back to the house to get the butter and when I returned to the patio and sat down, Millie handed me a plate. Chicken, rather burnt, Millie-style. Sweet corn on the cob, perfect! She can boil water, woohoo! She sat down next to me and put her arm around me. I love it when she gets affectionate with me in public. "I hear you have been teasing Allen," she said. Tattle. "He started it." "Oh, how mature. Don't let him get to you. The ocean wasn't quite as sucky as you thought it'd be, was it?' "The water was okay, I guess. The kissing was grand." "Oh, yeah?" she said loudly. "So... next time... do you think I might entice you to go deeper?" [http://i.imgur.com/mnT4wR5.gif] "...uh..." Oh, good lord. What is she asking me? In public? Am I blushing? Would it even be possible for me to rip my gaze away from her? Nope, can't do it. "I mean... in the water," Millie purred into the utter silence surrounding us. Eries started choking on her dinner then. Serena helpfully smacked her on the back. Allen put his hands over his mouth, but, I'm sorry to say, he did not smother himself. "That's it. Forget dinner. I'm just having Millerna." I dropped my plate to the side, grabbed up her leg and the butter knife, and I liberally buttered her calf. She screeched and then she screeched and laughed at the same time as I chomped on her leg. "Grrrrrowrrr! Yum, yum, yum!" She was laughing so hard that she had a very difficult time pulling her leg away from me, but she finally managed it. She looked down at her butter-covered leg and said, "Aaagh! Why did you do that?" "Because you deserved it. And anyway, Millernas are better with butter." Then I seized her hand as if to kiss it ...and I wiped all the butter off my face with it. Millerna looked down at herself, all sandy and salty and now buttery, too. There were still feathers in her hair. "Bleah! Dibs on the shower!" she said and ran off. Yeah, girl, go get yourself clean while you can. "There's no more hot water," said Eries thoughtfully. "A cold shower will do her good," I said and picked up my plate again. "Is that what you had?" asked Allen innocently. "...I think I'll post you out in the middle of nowhere again," I said to him. Serena grinned. "Waaah!" said Allen. "Well, maybe not. I suppose you have your uses." Allen looked relieved. So did Eries. And Gadeth. Hey wait a minute, I thought those two were sweet on each other... Interesting, I wonder... "Even if they are mostly decorative," I continued. Allen really didn't want to get sent off. He said nothing to that sally. I smiled at him and reached out and patted him on the knee. Then I moved my hand up an inch and squeezed his thigh, which made Allen look confused and then horrified. But not surprised. Is he EVER surprised when people hit on him? Eries and Gadeth both looked outraged. Both of them. Oho! Hehehe! Oh, boy! I really ought to try to get over this tendency to shove sticks into hornet's nests just to see what will happen. I'm just terrible. I apologized and told Allen I was just teasing him and we all went back to partying. Millie came back from her shower and we all had cake. (Sans gong). A good time was had by all. Nevertheless, when we all went to bed, Allen refused to get naked in my presence, preferring instead the trusted company of Gadeth. And did you know that Van has a night shirt with little blue kitty cats all over it? Bwahahahahaha! I suppose they all can laugh at me just as hard. I dreamt of hot buttered Millie all night long. Sigh. Maybe we'll go for another walk tomorrow! Yeah! I followed Millie around the whole of the next morning and afternoon, but I never got a chance to have a moment alone with her. Instead we were treated to an impromptu and drunken acapella by Eries, Allen, and Gadeth. Eries wasn't bad, and Allen could have been okay if he wasn't drunk, but Gadeth couldn't hold a note with both hands. "I'll definitely need more beer to enjoy this," I said. [http://i.imgur.com/Cyp49Rb.gif] "Yeah! Y'all suck. Boo! Hiss!" said Merle. Adrian was more appreciative of the free entertainment. "Oh, I dunno. It's got a certain charm. I wish I'd brought my camera." Fire suddenly shot out of Millerna's eyes. "Your camera?!! Are you that Adrian? Hey, come back here!" When Millerna returned, having found out the hard way that Adrian was an accomplished marathon runner, she was too tired to go for a walk with me. Well, maybe in a bit, I thought, but, no. The Corsair arrived that evening, a day and a half ahead of schedule, with the news that King Aston was dead, and the party became a wake. It was a long quiet trip back. I didn't have any idea what to say. Both of my parents are still obstreperously alive. I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose so much family so young. Grava Aston was much loved by his country and by his daughters. I threw myself into organizing the funeral for them. Afterwards I took on most of the Royal duties that Eries and Millerna had been performing so they could have some space in which to grieve. Millerna and her sister were utterly depressed. My daily flirtation with Millerna was suddenly so inappropriate. Strange, what a large portion of my life those little exchanges with her had become. Ouch for all of us. [http://i.imgur.com/x8MxVvO.gif] Even in deep mourning Eries and I would have to stop crying every now and then to let the well refill. During one pause I said to Eries, "I was visiting Dad the other day, before we left for your birthday and he was telling me he thought you were in love." "Really?" said Eries. She smiled a bit but she didn't say anything else. She's always been one to play her cards close to her chest, even with me. "Yeah," I said. "He said he'd gotten reports that you had been seen kissing Gadeth." "Oh. ...Well, it's true; I was kissing him." "I figured it was true from the way you two were at your party." "...So what else did Dad say?" "He was real happy. He said Gadeth was a good man. He was so happy that you were over Allen." I hadn't even known about Eries's crush until Dad told me. Like I said, she usually plays her cards very close, but this time she said, "...Oh. ...Well, I wouldn't say that either Gadeth OR I are over Allen. We are both still working on him." "What? Gadeth and Allen? You and Gadeth and Allen?" Holy moly! "Um... Gadeth and I are ever hopeful," she said, blushing a bit. "Oh! ...er..." Maybe Eries plays her cards close because when she lays them down they look so weird. She patted my hand. "What else did Dad say?" "He asked me if I was kissing Dryden yet." "And what did you say?" "I said I was... and Dad asked me if I liked it, and I said I l-l-loved it and then he asked me about school and stuff and then he sai-sa... waaaaaaah!" "Shh... It's okay... What did he say then?" I sniffed a bit and said, "He said... well, good. Now both my daughters are happy. Now I can die contented." "He called me his daughter? Really? ...Waaaaaah!" So Eries had her turn to cry then and I hugged her and eventually she blew her nose and I said to her, "So, you and Gadeth have formed a posse to get Allen?" She gave me a damp giggle. "Uh... well, I wouldn't call it that." "Oh. So have you always wanted a harem, Eries?" "Milleeeeeerrrrna!" "Okay. Not a posse, not a harem. What is it? A hairy possum?" Eries looked disgusted. "Sheesh. You sound like Dryden." "Funny that." "Oh, for God's sakes. Put your tiara-thingie back on before your head swells up any more." We laughed a bit and then we went back to crying. ***** Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. *****   Lucky Thirteen (She loves me.) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Four of Wands We are the mirror as well as the face in it. We are tasting the pain this minute of eternity. We are pain and what cures pain, both. We are the sweet cold water and the jar that pours. I want to hold you close like a lute, so we can cry out with loving. You would rather throw stones at a mirror? I am your mirror, and here are the stones. ~Rumi I learned it from a boooooooooook. ~Monty Python     Sometimes Merle just stops whatever she's doing and gazes off into space. I know cats are supposed to see invisibles all the time, but it's still weird. "Penny for your thoughts," I said to her. "A penny? Are you kidding? My thoughts are waaaaaaaaay more expensive than that. Inflation, you know. " "...You've been talking to Dryden, haven't you." "Who, me?"   Millerna and I almost always had breakfast together and usually we were joined by Dryden and sometimes Mr. Rat. Mr. Rat was away on his honeymoon though and Dryden came in every morning with an armful of unsorted mail. One morning he walked in with an even bigger heap than usual and quickly directed most of it to the circular file without opening it. "Oh, lookie here, I might be a winner. ...Yeeeeeah. I can't wait till Mr. Rat gets back. I hate dealing with this stuff." "You know they don't really mean it until the envelope is pink," I said, watching him dump everything but the newspaper into the trashcan. "Right," he agreed. He sat down at the table with us.   Millerna ate the last bite of her eggs and grabbed up her bookbag. "Gotta go!" she said. Dryden grabbed her as she went by and kissed her on the cheek. "So which holiday is it today?" she asked him. "Huh?" "You kissed me. It's a holiday?" she said. "Uh..." Dryden was caught off guard by that old game he had played with her. If today was a holiday, he had no idea which one. "It's Thursday." I said, rescuing him. "Oh, yes. Thursday! That's one of my favorites. Bye y'all!" said Millerna and she bounced out the door. Dryden shook his head sadly at me and picked up his paper again. I let him get some coffee and breakfast into him and then I said, "Oh, dearest brother-in- law?" "Yeah?" "I've got some news that's not making it up through the usual channels." "Oh?" He looked up from his paper. He knows the kind of news I can find. "You know those rumours from the Basram border? Well, some of my contacts aren't reporting in, and the few that are say..."   Weeks went by and Millie's continual mourning petered out somewhat. But not completely. She would seem absolutely fine for days at a time and then I'd find her somewhere, sobbing her heart out. I hadn't realized it before, but I've never really been friends with a woman, or at least a woman has never felt free to soak my shirt with tears. I should probably feel honoured, but what I feel is afraid. I'm not sure I know how to do this right...   And indeed, I went right ahead and did it wrong. I pulled the tail of my shirt out and wiped her face with it. She opened her eyes. "What is this?" she said. "What are you doing?" "I'm going to have to change my shirt now anyway and I didn't have a pocket handkerchief. I'm an optimist," I said. She started laughing. "Oh, man. I wasn't trying to be funny," I said. "You're Dryden. You don't have to try, you just are." She wiped her eyes on my shirt again. "How many minutes have we missed? A lot?" "92," I said. "You got a spare hour and a half?" "Always," I said and just buttoned my waistcoat over my sodden shirt. Later. We adjourned to the library and she sat on my lap and kissed me, the first proper taste I'd had of her in weeks. It was like offering a forkful of caviar to a dragon; I almost ate her nose off, but she didn't seem to mind.   She said, "I wish I had known you before. You know, before I had to marry you." Had to. Ouch. "Mmm." I mumbled into her mouth. "You might have hated me and had time to call off the wedding." "I might have liked you and kissed you lots." "That might have been worse." "Why?" "I kissed you the first opportunity I had last year and then you hated me," I said. "Uh... I didn't actually hate you." "Yeeeeeeah. Riiiiiiight. ...Well, I'm glad I was sent away. Those years were really good for me. I learned a lot that I would never have learned at home. Lots of it was great fun." "Eh? You were sent away? You didn't want to go?" "No." Ooops. Hell, here it comes. "Well, why?" "Uh... After I gave my consent for my father to arrange our betrothal, he... uh... caught me staring at you one day... and he was afraid I would try to take advantage of you. You were only 11." "You wouldn't have touched me." Wow. She sounds pretty sure. Oh, Millie! I said, "Oh, never! But unfortunately the shining purity of my heart was completely overshadowed by the lecherous look on my face." She studied me. "...Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean. You do look like a lech." "Maaaaaaaan! There's just no point in fishing for compliments from you, is there." "Well, a very pure lech." "Oh, sod off, why dontcha," I said and squeezed her tighter. I love you, I love you, I love you...   I walked into my sitting room and found Dryden squashed into a loose gangly ball on my little tiny couch. Large bits of him poked off the edges of the cushions, but amazingly, he was fast asleep anyway. I shook his shoulder. "The pages are looking for you. Hordes of them. They seem frantic." He opened one eye. "Yes, I know. I'm hiding from them. That's why I'm in here. I'm avoiding work and trying to have a nap, and the pages keep knocking on my door." "Oh. Sorry I woke you up then." "S'okay. I really ought to go back now." He sat up, very ungracefully. "Owww! You need a bigger couch!" I watched him pull his bandana out of his loosened ponytail, start to tie up his hair and then give up. I said, "I wonder ....how long it will take for you to recover from your injuries." "According to the doctor, I have recovered. I don't hurt everyday. He said this is just my reaction to stress now. He said to avoid stressful situations. Yeah, right. Let him be Regent." "So, what is going on? Why are the pages looking for you?" "There's a delegation of beastpeople in the north wing saying that thugs are waltzing across the Basram border and offering our unlucky furry countrymen the opportunity of indentured servitude. Refusal nonnegotiable, obviously. I've been avoiding them for hours." "Why? What are you going to do?" "Well, I'm not taking any action until Eries comes back and gives me a complete unbiased report. Preferably with maps. I'm hoping a nice quick un-uniformed ambush with a few anonymous-looking ships can solve the problem without an international incident. However, I can't think of any more polite excuses to explain to the delegates why I haven't done anything yet. I'm-pretending-it- took-me-five-days- to-read-your-ten-page-report- because I-don't-quite-trust- your-info is SO not gonna fly. Aaaaaaagh. They're gonna eat me alive." "...Waaaaaaaait a minute. Five days? Eries?" "Yah. Eries put on a disguise and went to go get me some info." "That was the errand she said she was off to? You're using my sister as a spy!?" "Well, I wouldn't say I'm using her; I'm employing her. Besides, she's a natural. And she prefers the term independent researcher." "What if something happens to her!" "Naaaah. She's smart and fast and a princess. If she gets caught, which is exceedingly unlikely, she'll tell them to ask for a ransom and I'll just buy her back." "Dryden! You have no shame!" "Nooooo... but I do have the money to buy some should I ever need any. Ah, c'mon, Eries LIKES being a sp- an independent researcher." "How much more family do you think I have to lose!? If anything happens to her, I'm never going to speak to you again!" Dryden looked surprised that his attempt at jocularity hadn't worked. "Eries is an adult and she volunteered. She was the best person for the job." "She's my sister! You should have asked me before you let her do this!" "Why? You haven't come to a meeting in months; you're not interested in this stuff. When? You're either at school or with your friends. I hardly ever see you and when I do, I don't want to talk business!" I took a deep breath and replied, with words I shall not repeat here. It just got more heated from there. We argued for a half an hour and we didn't get much resolved except that maybe Dryden and Eries ought to keep me up to date with breaking developments. Afterwards we sat in silence for a while. Dryden looked more depressed and exhausted than he had when I'd first come in. "...I hate this. I want to go home," he said.   "Where's home?" I asked, a bit relieved to be talking about something else. I think I sort of won the argument; why do I feel so unhappy? "A nice little airship stocked with books I haven't read yet, crewed by an Erzulian chef, nothing to do and absolutely no pages at all," he said. "No pages?" "I have tried and tried to explain to the pages that I do not want to be disturbed when I'm having a nap, but they just don't get the concept. It's either a cultural thing, or, more likely, the nasty little monsters know they have job security. Your Dad was not at all pleased with me when I fired his photographer." "Um... Dad's dead. They're our pages. You can fire them all if you want." "Oh, yeah." He rolled his eyes at me. "Wow. Something to look forward to. I'd laugh evilly if I wasn't so tired." I smiled but didn't laugh. It was occurring to me that throughout our fight Dryden had never resorted to the kind of language that I had. Not only was he nicer than me, he fought fairer. Oh, boy. What the hell kind of a princess am I? He sighed. "I gotta go," he said and reached for his glasses on the coffee table before us. I seized his hand and he turned his attention back to me. "When is Eries supposed to return?" I asked him. "Tonight." "You sure?" "...I think so. She's got backup, you know. If anything goes wrong, Eries will signal and the crew of the Crusade will crash the party waving their sharp shiny things... which will blow the element of surprise for later, but..." He shrugged and winced. I ran my fingers over his lumpy knuckles. He was wearing his wedding ring. He mostly wore it when he was doing Regent stuff... I said, "You know, you're right, I haven't seen much of you lately. I miss you. And I woke you up, just like the nasty little monster pages." He looked a question at me. "Let me see if I can put you back to sleep. If you can actually sleep on this pintsize sofa, it oughta be easy." I stood up, still holding his hand and led him across the floor. He looked back uncertainly at the door to the hall. "...But I... I have to-" "-No, you don't," I said and pushed him by stages flat down onto my bed. He looked a bit happier to be horizontal, once he got there. I jumped up next to him, pushed him over onto his stomach and began kneading his back.   Dryden did not relax. He said. "...Whenever I take action with insufficient information, things blow up in my face. Good intentions don't get me half as far as good research. I knew Eries wasn't telling you what she was up to, and I suppose I should have told you... but I would have accepted her offer to do this job even over your protests." "She's that good at sp- ...getting information for you?" "Yes." "Oh. ...Well, I'm definitely not getting all the info I need. I've thought my princess lessons were a bunch of useless crap all along and now I'm sure they are. I'm quitting them as of this second. Instead I'll go to meetings with you, and if you and Eries get up to things I don't like, then I'll give you both a piece of my mind and if you all don't find it very princess-like or diplomatic, then you'll just have to deal. What do you think of that!?" There was a shadow of a smile on his face. "That suits me very well, actually." "Shut your eyes." "You expect me to sleep through this? How will I remember it then?" "Shush, you," I said. I pulled his shirt up to knead his bare skin, but my hands didn't slide as well as they had over the thin cotton of his shirt. Hmm...I said, "I have some sweet oil. It's supposed to be for the windburn I always get when riding, but it'd work for this..." "Sure." "We'll have to take your shirt all the way off." "Okay, " he said and pushed himself back up. I tried to pull his shirt over his head, but that didn't work too well. "Ow, ow, ow," he said and pulled it back down. He brought his hands up to his little white pearly buttons, but then frowned. He looked around. "Hey, where are my glasses?" "You left them on the coffee table. Here, I'll do it." I unbuttoned his shirt, slid it down his shoulders and went to go find the sweet oil.   When I returned, he had laid down again on my bed with his feet poking a little off the end. I sat down next to him, poured oil on my hands and over his back and worked it slowly into his shoulders and neck. There were still a few faint scars visible on his back. I pressed them gently. "How does that feel?" I asked him. "Harder," he said. Well, all right then. I suppose it's been plenty long enough for those ribs to heal.I pressed harder, leaning into him, searching for tense muscles. They were easy to find, great knots of them. I kneaded them and he sighed. I pulled his closed hand out from under his chin. He let his arms go limp and let me stretch them out beside him. I rubbed oil into his elbows and up and down his arms, and he smiled. I massaged his hands and pulled my fingers over his knuckles and fingertips and he shut his eyes. I wanted more to touch, so I undid his sash and pulled his habayah mostly off, which left him wearing only knee length shorts and sandals. I poked my hands up his shorts a ways and worked my way down both his legs. Then I took off his sandals and rubbed his long narrow feet. The oil sank into them instantly so I slathered them again and again. "Dry skin," I said, "You oughta wear socks more." He didn't say anything; he was breathing slowly, deeply, smiling slightly, eyes moving under his closed lids, dreaming. He was also drooling onto my pillow a bit. Hehehe! I swung my leg over him, sat on his rear end, and pressed my hands into his lower back. After a while he said, "Mmm," and then he blinked and opened his eyes. "Am I dreaming?" he said. "No, but you were a minute ago. Go back to sleep." He laughed but didn't go back to sleep. "Nuh-uh. ...That feels incredible, Millie." A bright green eye regarded me over his shoulder. I concentrated on the last tight remnants that I could feel in his neck and lower back and he groaned happily and shut his eyes again. "So what were you dreaming about?" I asked him. "Oh, you were giving me a backrub. It was... just like this actually, only..." "Yes?" "Um. I was facing up." "Well, we could do that." "No, we couldn't," he said. "Why not?" "Uh... Your touch is very...stimulating. You don't want me to turn over right this minute." Oooh. Eries's party... "Yes, I do!" He looked at me over his shoulder again for a long moment. "...All right." He turned under me so I was still straddling him. There was large bulge in his shorts. I looked at it, looked at him; he was looking at the ceiling. I reached for the bottle of sweet oil and poured some into my hand. I sat down on the bulge in his pants and began rubbing oil into his chest. "So how did I do? Does your back still hurt?" I asked him.   He seemed to be biting his lip to repress a grin. "My back feels great. Most of my aches are all gone." "What did I miss?" He looked at me for a while, then he thrust his hips up, bouncing me into the air, so that I landed, hard, on his erection. "That bit, " he said. "Oh." I giggled. He bounced me again, and I wriggled a bit and kept massaging his chest. "Hmm." he said, "I guess it's my move now." He reached down and untied the drawstring on his shorts. "What are you doing?" I said.   "You've already taken off most of my clothes. I want you to see the rest of me." "But-" "-Hey, if you're scared, you can run out of the room." "That's not fair. Where am I gonna go? This is my room." He looked up at me then. "...That's true. It seems I am willing to risk your displeasure on this one point." And he shoved his loosened shorts down his hips. I sat back onto his upper thighs... and looked. "Well, you haven't run away. That's something anyway. Are you displeased?" he said. "Um... um... Well, I was curious." "Sooooo? What do you think? Any Royal Pronouncements?" he asked. "It's... very pink. My favorite colour, " I said conversationally. He laughed. I went on, "Can I ...touch it?" "It would be my pleasure. Literally." I reached out and ran my finger down the length of his erection. All the formal medical names crowded into my head. Glans: the dictionary definition says nothing about the sandwashed silk texture. Testicles: the diagrams don't show the shiny curly hair. And there's definitely nothing in any of my books about how curling your hand around the shaft causes it to engorge even further. Dryden trembled under me and in my hands. I need some better books. "This all right?" I asked him. "Yes, yes!" He grabbed the pillows from my bed, piled them underneath his shoulders, so he was propped up and could watch me easily. "How about some sweet oil?" he said. "Okay." I poured more oil into my hand and then froze. "Um." "What?" "How do I do this?" "Just touch me! Please!" He swallowed and tried again. "Stroke me. Up and down." Right. In a minute. I explored him with my oiled hands. The triangular cross- section was surprisingly attractive. I peeped in the little oval slit in the top, ran my fingers over cleft it was seated in, over the ridges of his glans, down the subtle veining along the shaft. Very pink. So pretty!...Right...Up and down. He smiled and watched my every move. I blushed and bent so that my hair hid my face, but he didn't let me get away with that.   After a few minutes he said, "A little tighter?" "Like this?" "Uh-huh." He rocked his hips gently into my moving hands. It took me a minute or two to find a rhythm with him moving too, but when I did, he started moving faster and moaning. After another few minutes he said, "You have me ready. Will you... will you take me over-" "-Yes! But tell me how." "Okay." He wrapped my left hand's first two fingers and thumb around the base of his penis. "Squeeze," he said. "Yeah, just like that. Now move your other hand as you were before...Squeeze a little harder. Yeah. Now don't let go and don't stop and go a little faster. Yes... oh, god." He grabbed my knees and thrust into my hands. I didn't know where to look; his penis, throbbing and twitching and spilling all over my fingers and onto his stomach was fascinating, but so was the expression on his face.   "Stop," he said, but then, as I began to open my hands, he clapped his hands over mine. "No, don't let go yet, just stop moving." So I held his penis, felt it twitch a few more times, watched him relax back against the bed as his breathing slowed down. Finally he let go of my hands. "Oh," he said, "That, that... Kiss me." He grabbed my shoulders to pull my mouth to his. "My hands are all sticky!" I said, not knowing where to put them on him without making a mess. "I don't care," he said. He pulled me down and kissed me warmly. I kissed him back. Squish.   "Mmmm. ...Let me go find a washcloth." I bounced off the bed and ran into the bathroom, ran right back out. I wiped at his chest and stomach. "So are we consummated now?" I asked him. He lay there, watching me and smiling. "Uh... I'm not sure... Consummation implies intercourse, I think. But this does count as sex." I wiped my hands uselessly on the very sticky washcloth. "Really? Are you sure? I didn't even get to take off my clothes." "Oh....Oh, dear! Perhaps we should-" "-Can we wait just a bit on that?" I said. I kissed him again and went back to the bathroom with the washcloth.     *   *   *   *   *   *   Soooo, idiot, why do you suppose she's hiding in the bathroom? Oh, god help me. What do I do now? * *   I turned on the tap, and stuck my hands into the stream. I think I stood there for a long while, hypnotized by the water running over my still hands. Finally I shook myself awake and looked up. How utterly delicious! I grinned at myself in the mirror. Hehehe! Oh, boy!   When I came back out of the bathroom, Dryden was dressing. He had fetched his glasses, buttoned his buttons and was putting on his habayah. I watched him tie his sash and felt strange and disappointed, though I wasn't sure why. He wasn't looking at me. He said, "I... uh... should probably go... placate those delegates."   Oh, no! Did I leave him out here by himself too long? Is he thinking that I was staying in the bathroom because I wasn't happy, that I regretted my actions? I put my arm around him. "That's too bad. I don't really want to be parted from you at the moment." His chin snapped up, he stared at me. "...Uh...Would you like to come with me? I'm sure that meeting Asturia's Crown Princess would distract them from the fact that I have avoided them all afternoon." He watched my hand creep up his shoulder. Oh, for God's sakes, what does he think I'm going to do to him?   "Sure, I'd love to go. After you introduce them to me, we should feed them dinner. It'll be more difficult for them to give you a hard time if they've got food in their mouths. You taught me that. And we can play footsie under the table." He closed his eyes in relief at my little speech and then bent and kissed me on the lips.   Much better. I could not name the day- or hour or minute- when my happiness was yoked to his, but I found myself content to be so bound. "You have sweet oil in your hair," I told him. "Do I?" he said, smiling. "Can I brush it out for you? And put up your hair?" "Um..." "Won't take but a minute," I said and pushed him back towards my bed. "Okay." So I brushed his hair, and he fiddled with his glasses and attempted to talk. "So... um... Can I... um... I mean... are we... hmmm." "What? Just say it!" "Er. Well... I'm trying to figure out... exactly what the state of our relationship is now." "You mean... regarding sex." "...Yes. ...Do you want to sleep with me now?" "You mean, do I want to sleep with you and have intercourse and get our marriage properly consummated? Yes." "Really? All right!!" Why is he so easy to love? Too tall, too skinny and he dresses weird, Dryden's nothing like...what's-his-name, the guy with the sleeves and the poofy hair... but he is smart... "You won't be sorry. I'll make you very happy," he said. ...and, of course, arrogant. Probably because he's usually right. Although I'm already happy. But some arguments aren't worth having. "I have no doubt, darling." I kissed him again and jumped off the bed. "Well, shall we go deal with these delegates now?" he asked me. "Not quite yet," I said. I dropped my trousers and pulled my shirt off over my head.   I dropped my bra on his lap. My cute little pink panties joined the pile on the floor. I think he stopped breathing. "I can't very well go meet important delegates in my scummy school clothes, now can I?" I said and I opened my closet and picked out a nice formal dress. Hehehe. I put it on, sans underwear. "Okay. Now I'm ready to go." "Aaaaaaagh! You are such a tease!" "You want me to quit it? I could put some underthings on, if you prefer. " "No. I'm just saying. You are such a tease." "Yeah, yeah." "...And you sound like me." "Funny that. Anyone ever told you that you have an infectious sense of humour?" I seized his hand and pulled him out of my bedroom. I don't think he wanted to go.   I listened to the delegates talk all through dinner, which Dryden had told me they would enjoy, since they'd already told him everything two or three times. When dessert (ooh! strawberry ice!) came around, one of them reciprocated and asked me what I had been up to lately. I said, "I helped take out an appendix today! The incision was only this big, but the appendix was about so big and totally covered with... yes, well, nevermind." Unlike Dryden, I have to try to be charming. Grossing out the dinner guests did draw all the attention away from Dryden for a bit. None of them noticed when he excused himself to go talk to a beast girl who had signaled to him from the doorway. They talked for a while, very intimately and I began to feel a bit jealous. I watched Dryden whisper in her ear then and she peeked around his shoulder and stared right at me. I stared back. Then she laughed. It's... it's... She tore off a long fake ear and waved it at me and then she disappeared down the gallery. Eries. Oh my god!   Well, she's back. And I guess her info was good. At least, I got to watch Dryden light the fuses on several plans he had set up in anticipation of Eries delivering what he needed to know. The delegates were VERY happy.   It was late evening when we finally escaped. Walking down the hall together, knowing what I was about to do, I must admit I still felt really awkward. I'd imagined hot passions suddenly sweeping me away, not this determined nervousness. Oh, well. When Dryden guided me past my bedroom door and through his door, I assumed it was because he didn't like the way his feet poked off the end of my little bed. That's not what he was thinking at all. I watched him dig under his big four- poster bed for a box which he then presented to me. "What's this?" "Birth control. I like being prepared." He had this stuff all ready? Just waiting to be used? "What's wrong?" "Well, it's not very romantic..." I said. "But... Marlene and your mother... The women in your family seem to have delicate constitutions. They die when they have too many children or when they have children too young. You seem very strong and healthy, but I'm not going to risk losing you. I think we should wait until you're at least 24 or 25 before we have children. ...So... um... condoms?" I sat on his bed holding the box and swinging my feet. "Till I'm 24? Wow, that'll piss off Parliament." "I piss off Parliament every other week; it's your turn." He sat down next to me. "Hehehe! Yeah. I'm not disagreeing. I think you're right. ...Now what? I have absolutely no idea how to do this." "Uh." He swallowed. "I have a book with pictures of various sexual positions. Want to see?" I nodded. He leapt up, ran a finger over the books in a nearby shelf, pulled one out and handed it to me. I flipped through it. It was filled with paintings of pretty couples frolicking in interesting ways amidst swirling draperies and odd surreal-looking plants; it was very intriguing, although... "Oh, come now, that's not physically possible, is it?" I said.   "Um. I don't know. We should probably start off with the easy-looking ones at the front of the book." I flipped back to the beginning. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dryden move his hands to his lap and casually press down on the interesting little tent effect appearing there. Neat! And then I realized I was outright staring. And Dryden was smirking. He uncovered his lap. I wrenched my gaze back to the book. "So... which one?" "Page four," he said. I flipped pages. Page four was a picture of man sitting down with a woman sort of sitting or kneeling over him. "From what I've read, this is a particularly nice position for a first time. The woman has to do all the work, but that means she also controls the speed that everything happens. It's less likely to be uncomfortable for her." "You did research on this?!" "...I like being prepared." "Yeah, you've said that before. I'm beginning to think maybe that IS romantic." I took another look at the picture on page four. Yup. I can do that. "Okay dokey," I said and started unbuttoning my dress.     Perhaps the people in the painting had more style and grace what with the plants and the draperies, and okay -so what if I did accidentally slingshot the first condom across the room, but I was persistent and Dryden pulled a bottle out of his box of supplies and graciously greased me up and we eventually managed a close approximation of the picture.   "Hey, we're not virgins anymore!" I said. My nervousness had fled. "...um...uh... Yeah!" Dryden seemed enthralled by the sight of our joined bodies. "So what do you think?" "I... uh.... well......I......I....uh....." "Hmmm, you sound a tad incoherent. Do you remember your name? How about the date? How many fingers am I holding up?" "Oh, haha, real funny. Shush, you; I'm enjoying this. Just- just give me a minute." I grinned. Dryden tells me to shut up so sweetly! "How many do you want?" "What?" he said. "How many minutes do you want?" "...All of them," he said seriously. I laughed. He clasped me to him. "Oh! Oh, do that again!" "Do what?" "Laugh." But I was too distracted to obey. There was still maybe an inch of lovely pink penis visible between us. I pressed myself down and made it disappear. Then I rolled my hips against him. Oh, boy. What a bummer that I'd been a late bloomer! I could have done this months ago! ...Well, maybe not.   Dryden grabbed me round the waist then and held me still. "Wait, wait!" he said. I wiggled in his grasp but not as much as I wanted to and he didn't let go. "Why?" I almost whined. "No pain?" he asked me. I looked up at the concern in his voice. "Uh, no. No hymen. I am a virgin, though. ...I mean, I was a few minutes ago." "Oh. All the horseback riding?" he said. He believes me! Yes! And don't think he would care even if I hadn't have been anyway. "Uh... yeeeeeeeah." I found it very difficult to lie to him under the circumstances even by omission. I told him the truth. "Or it could be that I played with myself constantly," I said. I wasn't that late a bloomer. He laughed and I understood why he'd liked it when I laughed. Oooh! "More and more, it becomes clear; you are the perfect woman for me," he said. He loosened his grip on me and let his hands wander. I flexed my knees. How nice to find another use for the honking huge thigh muscles I got from riding. I moved up, I moved down, I moved from side to side. Dryden was beginning to tremble. Oh, not yet! I stopped moving. "Noooo!" he said "Five!" I said to him. "Is that how you rate me?" he said, sounding disappointed. "No, that's what I want to do next." I picked up my new favorite book and showed him the picture that had caught my eye when I'd first looked at it. Oooooh, five.... "Ah." he said and then as I pulled myself off of him, he said it again... with feeling.   Millerna liked number five -a lot to go by the noises she made- and then she wanted to try another. I was happy to oblige, but... "Hmmm... This is supposed to be the old standby. You'd think it would be easier." "You're trying to do it with no hands and you're too tall. That's the problem," she said. "Too tall for what?" "Gimme that! Oho. There we go. Guess you're not too tall after all."   "Didn't think so. In fact I think we got this one just r-r... oooh!" She moved under me and it was suddenly obvious why this one was the old standby...   "Hey! Hey! Enough of this one!" "What? I'm like six strokes from coming! Just let me-" "No! I want to be on top now. Roll over." Being that close to coming must make me stupid or something; I actually argued with her about it. "But- but you already-" "-Yeah, well, I'm the girl. I get to go twice. Twice for every one of yours. It said so in the back of that book. ...Sometimes more than twice." "...I've looked through that book 50 times and I don't remember that." "Uh... It was written really, really, really small?" "Ya don't say. You are such a bad liar. Admit it. You just can't get enough of me." "So true. Roll over!" she commanded in her princess voice. "Yes, ma'am." I rolled over.   "I do get to have my way with you, though, right? Eventually?" "Ye-e-e-ee..." Oh. Another inarticulate moment for her. Lucky girl. "That was a yes, right?" I said. She collapsed over me, panting in my ear. "Eh? Yes, what?" I asked her. "...Yes. Yes, sir." "Oh, goodie. I can't wait." "Yes, you can. Yes, you did. All yours now," she said. All mine? I do not need to be told twice. I rolled her back over and pulled her hips up to mine. Mine.   All mine. Oh, Ilove the sound of that. All mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mmmmmm............     "Okay, I like number 4 and 5, you just gotta love the simplicity of 2 and 3, 16 is pretty fun and I'm very much looking forward to trying out all these others, too, but I still think you'd have to rip your limbs out of their sockets in order to perform number 37. What do you think, Dryden?" "..." "Yeah, well. I guess I'll ask you later." We have all the time in the world. I pulled the covers over us, curled up against his side and shut my eyes.   How interesting to pee in the morning in someone else's bathroom. Dryden had had someone install another sink and a higher counter next to the original ones. Another mirror, too. I might have looked in Dryden's cabinets, but for all that I'd slipped out of bed so quietly, I'd left the bathroom door open and my tinkling had woken him up. "Hi!" I said when he walked in. He caught me up, set me on the edge of the sink, insinuated himself between my knees and kissed me, which seemed to be his version of good morning. Assumptive, arrogant bastard. And right, too, dammit.   "So are you going to sleep with me in my bed from now on?" he asked. "Um....Yeah, I gue- Um. Yes. Definitely," I said. "Well in that case, maybe we should move the bookcases covering the door between our rooms, eh?" "...You knew about that!?" I had completely forgotten. "Darling..." "Right. Of course you did." "I'll go make the pages move them right now." "...Uh, couldn't we do it?" "Yeah, but why bother when we have hordes of lazy pages?" "It'd be... more discreet." "...You don't want people to know? Were you planning on carefully mussing up your bed every morning? What have you got to hide? We're married!" "Oh, all right. I guess it's stupid to act like... Okay. Whatever." I wiggled out of his grasp and went to look for my clothes. He followed me out of the bathroom a minute later, sat on his four-poster bed and watched while I tried to find my underpants. Oh, yeah, I hadn't worn any. Duh. Dryden went on with our conversation. "Whatever, you said.... Wonderful! Shall we go down to the market right now and buy multicoloured condoms and a liter of lube?" "Dryden!" "Still shy, eh? No problem, catalog shopping it is! I luuuuuuuv brown paper packages tied up with string! Let's get lots of naughty toys!" "Dryden! I'm a princess!" "...So?" he said. I glared at him. He reached under the bed, pulled out a sheaf of stapled papers, flipped through them and handed them to me. I read the sheet he'd pointed to silently. I swallowed and read it again. "Um. Okay. Fine. But I'm not opening that package at the breakfast table with Eries!" "Woohoo! Woohoo!" He bounced up and down on the bed. Flop, flop. Oh, my.   "Are you sure you're older than me? You're acting about five years old," I said. "Don't be silly," he said, which was totally the pot calling the kettle black. "This is my my wife had sex with me, said she'll sleep with me always AND play with naughty toys with me dance. Only grownups may do this dance. Woohoo!" "Uh-huh. Performed to the tune of woohoo, woohoo, I see. So what does your my wife loves me dance look like? Is it any more dignified?" "Nope. Same thing. I'm not much of a choreographer." He stopped bouncing up and down then and shoved his glasses -which had almost slid off the end of his nose- back up. "Um... do you... I mean, did you actually say that you love me?" "Um... not yet." A faint frown preceded his poker face. "...Is that no, I haven't said it yet... or- or no, I don't lo-" "-I love you! I love you lots! Heaps! Have for a while." "Oh. I love you, too." "So. No jumping up and down?" "Maybe in a minute. I'm enjoying this now." "You want me to shush while you enjoy it?" "You can't talk while you're kissing. Come here." I obeyed and one thing led to another and... well, I guess the hot passions suddenly sweeping me away that I'd been hoping for, that was simply something we'd had to work up to. Yum.     Had enough yet? For the moment.   Dryden licked his finger, ran it over my nipple, watched it swell, licked his finger again and applied it to my other nipple. He seemed to be timing it carefully so he could get them both to stand at the same height. "Now this..." He nudged the right one again. "This I shall not be able to stop myself from making poetry about." "Will it be bad?" I asked. "It shall be god-awful. Right up there with my choreography. Oh, well."   We'd missed breakfast by a mile and I didn't feel like moving. May as well just wait for lunch. I reached up and took Dryden's... our... picturebook off the headboard and flipped through it. "Hey, that was number 7 that we did just now! Six down; 36 more positions to try out. And frankly, I think our number 3 needs practice."   "Now!? You're gonna kill me. Aren't you sore yet?" "Nah. And I have it on good authority that you are a lot tougher than you look." "Hey, I've told you before, Mr. Rat is a liar. And you're insulting my looks." "No, I'm not. I like your looks." "...Is that all? Such an expansive turn of phrase you've got there." "I like the way your hair glints red in the sun and gets even curlier when it rains. I like your silly knobby knees and the freckles which go so nicely with your stupid grin. I like your elegant cheekbones and your eyebrows which go so nicely with your sardonic smirk. Yes, that one. You've got range to your cuteness. I like that." He giggled. "Tell me more about my eyes." "So are you a pirate or aren't you?" "Now, see, if I say yes you'll be horrified, and if I say no you'll be disappointed. My best and wisest course is to never ever tell you and just let you wonder." "Aaaaaaaaaaw!" "Live with it, darling." ...I can do that. ***** Epilogue *****   Chapter Fourteen Reader, I... 10 of cups, The Sun, Deuce of Wands... Hmm. Who stacked the deck? You can't always get what you want... ~Mick Jagger Hey, I always get what I want. ~Dryden, Episode 15, VoE It is tradition that before each ruling monarch gets officially crowned that they get a great big official-looking portrait painted of them which is hung somewhere in the palace to amaze and astound (-shock and horrify. They wore what back then!?) future generations. Bleah. It really wasn't how I wanted to spend my time, but I obediently sat for the portrait surrounded by symbolic objects of state while Dryden teased me. "You know, if you're really trying for the schmaltzy earth goddess image, ya ought to be nude." "Tell him that," I said, pointing my chin at the painter. "I did. I've bribed him to make me a copy. A nude copy." "Yeah, right. He hates you," I said. It was true. The poor pathetic artist had been screaming at me to stop wiggling all day. Now he screeched, "Sir, you are ruining the light on her! Get out of the way, or should I just paint you into the portrait!?" The only thing making the sitting bearable was that Dryden was hanging around to watch and I didn't want him driven away. I said, "Maybe you should. You know what they say; behind every good woman..." "-Well, you are very good from behind," said Dryden. I laughed and almost dropped the gold pomander ball. Dryden caught it before it rolled out of my hand. Oops. I was out of position. Again. The artist threw his brush and palette to the floor and stormed out of the room. I knew he would be back. But maybe not for a while. Hehehe!   On my eighteenth birthday I was crowned Queen. It took ten hours to go through the whole ordeal. Gaaaaaaah! Later, I asked Dryden if he was upset to be demoted from Prince Regent to Prince Consort. "Are you kidding? Prince Consort. I love the sound of that! Prince Consort. My job description now comprises me following you around and making love to you whenever you ask. Wow. I'm in heaven!" "...You're not coming with me to the meeting, are you?" "Nope," he said. "This stinks," I said. "Allow me to help. Better?"   "Tarring and feathering for touching the Royal Nose," I said nasally. He laughed, not with me since I wasn't laughing too, but at me. Then he picked up his coat. "Well, I'm off to go stimulate the economy on a personal level." "Eh?" "I'm going shopping. I'll be back later to follow you around and consort. See ya!" He was diligent in his duties, too. Oh, boy. Yeah.... Ruling by myself and remaining in school was no picnic. I got a very clear picture of just how much work Dryden had been doing- lots! Dryden helped out some, but he obviously considered himself on vacation. Or more specifically, on honeymoon. It was driving me nuts, so I crowned him King to rule beside me after only three weeks. "By the authority vested in me, blah, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera, you're King."   "Well, darn," he said. He looked a bit annoyed, but not especially surprised. "Oh, you can still be Prince Consort, too. I don't mind that part. Just help me out with the work." "Well... okay. At least I didn't have to go through some hideous day-long ritual like you d-- Oh, no! No! I'm not doing it!" he said. Gosh, is my head transparent? "Please?" I said. "No!" "It'll be good for morale," I said. "Whose?" he said. "Uh... the country's? Mine?" I wheedled. He can't resist me when I beg. Well, not much. "...Two hours, total. That's all. No press, no boring speeches, no stupid outfits!" "How about only one hour, a ten minute speech by me, Adrian and Serena for the press, private party after. No stupid outfits." "Chocolate cake and I'm not wearing the stupid metal hat," he said. "Chocolate orange? Wear the stupid metal hat for the last fifteen minutes of the ritual and then shove it in a drawer for the rest of your life?" "Deal," he said and we shook on it. Ah, the fine art of compromise.   Considering Dryden's distaste for lengthy formal occasions, the next time I wanted to ask him for something I decided to do so on my knees. Dryden was in the garden sitting on the edge of a fountain, one bare foot in the water, one on the grass. He was writing notes in the margins of one of Mr. Rats's reports. I sidled up to him and kneeled, but the fountain was rather higher up than I'd thought. Hmmm. He lifted his arms and looked at me under his papers. "What the heck are you doing down there?" he said. "I wanted to talk to you-" I said to his stomach.   "-Well, that's a great position for all kinds of things, but not talking." He pulled his foot out of the water and stood up. He picked me up and set me on the edge of the stone fountain, sticking his papers underneath me. He knelt before me, pressed himself between my legs and kissed me on the lips. "There we go," he said. We had swapped places and were face to face. Paper covers stone, Millerna covers...What am I, a paperweight? What bizarre little ritual are we enacting now? Goes right well with the four minutes he still insists on having every night. Hmmm. "Do I have to stick my foot in the fountain now?" I said.   "Hohoho. What did you want to talk about?" he asked. I looked at him. He's not even close to perfect. Never mind the smartass comments, he snores. Of course, I am apparently a vile blanket thief, so it all evens out. My hair was dangling into the fountain, wicking up water and transferring it to the back of my pants. Eeew. Cold. Definitely not a a perfect moment. But good enough, good enough. I cleared my throat. "Well... I had this idea-" He interrupted me and said with mock concern, "Not again! Are you okay?" I carefully did not smack him. "Hohoho, yourself. Shush you, I'm being serious. I was wondering... would you like to get married again?" "No. I like you." "I mean... would you like to have another ceremony with me and renew our vows?' "Oh. You think our wedding pictures are the worst you've ever seen, too?" "Um. I think our last wedding demonstrated that I was willing to do my duty for my country, but what I'd really like now is for the whole country to know how much I love you." He looked into my eyes for a moment and then folded over my legs with his head in my lap and his arms around my waist. "No, no, darling," I said. "Get up. Aw, I'm doing it wrong. I'm the one asking for another wedding; I'm the one who should be on her knees."   "What's the difference?" he said. His voice was muffled and sounded a bit odd. "If we're one, what does it matter who's kneeling?" I really couldn't argue with that.   This is neither accident nor miracle, but a choice made and made again, every day, every hour, every minute. Heart of my heart, sweetest of sweetfriends, I keep choosing you, again and again, I do, I do, I do! Our second ceremony was very nice. (And very short.) Millie wore a new ivory dress and some old earrings of her mother's, and she borrowed one of my blue bandanas to put up her hair. The weather was nice, no eclipses, no fire, and no buildings fell on me. Can't complain! The photos were much better, too. ...But truth be told, I've always considered that exchange by the fountain to be my real wedding day, and I don't need any pictures of that, for I'm not about to forget. I handed Millie a picture anyway. "Look! No fire! I like this one."   **** **** "Well, my eyes are shut, but it's okay. Shall we get them printed up on teatowels and sell them to the populace?" said Millie. "What a dreadful idea! Why would we do that?" "Can't beat 'em, join 'em, preemptive strike sort of thing. You've not looked through any society magazines since you became a Royal, have you?" "No. Should I?" "Nah. Keep your innocence. I don't want you to stop hanging out in the front garden fountain." "Oh, god! They don't sell teatowels with pictures of me wading in the fountain, do they? How tacky!" "Don't look. I'm telling ya, don't look."   I was on my way to go speak to my lieutenant when I happened to see him out on a balcony pressing some girl into a wall. She didn't need rescuing; she had her arms wrapped firmly around him. Maybe Gadeth needed rescuing; she seemed to be biting him a bit. Naaaah. Hmmm. I guess he's busy. Maybe I'll go talk to Eries instead. ...Hey! Wait a minute! That IS Eries! I really ought to have felt happy for them, but... Aaaaaw. Darn. I bet it's nice being bitten by a princess. I turned around and went back the way I'd come. Waaaaaah! I can't believe this is my life. How could this happen!? I flirt with the ladies, and they flirt back, but go no further because they all think I'm a player... I just can't shake this reputation! Hell! I'm going to diiiiiiiiiiiiiie. Aloooooooooone. In the raaaaaaaaain.   Gadeth saw him first; he squeezed my hand and pointed. Allen was walking down the wide sweeping staircase that led to the courtyard. Now where did he think he was going? "Ready?" I asked Gadeth. "Yes," he said. "Oh, yes!" "Let's get him!" I said and we threw ourselves down the stairs after Allen.   Card Zero: A young man steps off a cliff. ...or maybe he was pushed. The end. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!