Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2274522.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Regulus_Black/Sirius_Black, Sirius_Black/Remus_Lupin
  Character:
      Sirius_Black, Regulus_Black, Remus_Lupin
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest, Cheating, Swearing
  Series:
      Part 1 of Forsaken_Desires
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-09-08 Completed: 2014-09-09 Chapters: 18/18 Words: 45133
****** Forsaken Desires ******
by A_Sirius_Crush_On_Moony_(Obsession137)
Summary
     Sirius and Remus are in a happy relationship, until Sirius realises
     he may have some dark desires for his brother.
***** The First Kiss *****
                               FORSAKEN_DESIRES
                                The First Kiss
"Sirius?" said Regulus softly as he poked his head through the door. "I'm
scared."
Sirius sighed. He and his brother didn't get on at all. They were in separate
houses; Regulus was a Slytherin and Sirius was a Gryffindor... they couldn't be
more different. They couldn't loathe each other more. But when they returned
home in the summer, they went back to how they used to be. They were there for
each other and they were each others only friend.
Sirius was lying on his bed almost dozing off with his hands rested behind his
head. He looked at his little brother and smiled.
"What's up?" he asked, beckoning Regulus to come and sit on his bed with him.
Regulus did as Sirius wished, sitting down on the edge of Sirius's bed with
tears in his eyes.
"I just... why Sirius?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you have to make things so hard for yourself?"
"I don't! I be myself and if mum and dad don't like it then tough," Sirius
said, playing with his wand.
"Sirius... I'm scared they'll kick you out..."
"So what? I'd rather not be here."
"Where would you go?" Regulus asked with new tears in his eyes.
"Don't cry! I'd go to James's house," said Sirius. "He always said I'd be
welcome if I was kicked out."
"But what about me?" Regulus asked in a small voice. "You can't leave me
here... with them... by myself."
"But they like you!" said Sirius. "The hate me, so I hate them. Why do you hate
them if they're nice to you?"
"Because of how they treat you," admitted Regulus. "I wish we were how we used
to be... before Hogwarts. Mum and dad loved us both and we were like a proper
family."
"Yeah but that's before I showed them that I was different to the rest of our
family," said Sirius. "I don't want to be like mum and dad or the rest of the
family. I hate everything about what they believe in, no offence. I just...
I do want to be kicked out because I can't stand living here."
"But... I'll miss you," said Regulus sadly, looking down. Sirius felt his heart
well up. His brother really did care about him.
"Well think about it," said Sirius. "We go back to school tomorrow and I've not
done anything bad enough for them to kick me out tonight, so I should be here
by Christmas at least."
"What if they kick you out at Christmas? Who am I supposed to talk to while I'm
here? Sirius... I heard them talking about you downstairs."
"Oh yeah? What were they saying?" asked Sirius eagerly, though he knew it
wouldn't be anything good.
"They were saying they need to do something about you and they said you're an
embarrassment to the family," Regulus said.
"Well I already knew they felt that way," said Sirius.
"But they were also talking about disowning you and they were being pretty
serious about it. I just don't want you to go."
"Reg, don't worry about me," said Sirius, hugging his brother. This was
something that they strictly only did at home when one of them was very upset.
"But I'll be so lonely," sniffed Regulus.
"Hey, I can always find a way to sneak back if you want," said Sirius,
smirking. "And in the meantime, you've got Kreacher to keep you company."
"Honestly? Kreacher?" Regulus asked, laughing. "Anybody is better company
than Kreacher."
"Well he likes you, at least," said Sirius. "Knowing him, if he got stuck
with me as company, he'd find some way to kill me..."
Regulus laughed for a short moment and then sighed. "When we get back to school
it'll be time to ignore you again," he said.
"Only because your friends would treat you like crap if you were nice to me,"
Sirius said.
"I know," said Regulus. "Sirius?"
"What?"
"I'm scared for another reason, too."
"What's up? Why're you scared?"
"I heard dad talking about Lord Voldemort."
"What about Lord Voldemort?" asked Sirius curiously. Regulus trembled and
Sirius hugged him again.
"I think," said Regulus slowly. "That dad wants me to join Lord Voldemort," he
said in barely a whisper. Sirius's eyes widened.
"You won't join will you?" he asked.
"I don't want to! But if dad wants me to join, then what choice do I have?"
"Oh Reg, I'm so sorry," Sirius said, rubbing his hand up and down Regulus's
back for comfort. Regulus sighed.
"There's nothing you can do about it. Nothing even I can do about it. Why
couldn't I have been a Gryffindor like you?"
"Wow Reg, I never thought I'd hear those words coming out of your mouth," said
Sirius, smiling slightly.
"Neither did I," admitted Regulus. "I just... in Gryffindor, you seem to have a
lot more fun. You seem more free and happy and safe."
"It's true," said Sirius. "I can't imagine why anyone would want to be in
Slytherin when you have Lord Voldemort trying to recruit from that House."
"Yeah... as I said, I'm so scared."
"Don't be. I know for a fact that if Lord Voldemort tries to recruit you,
you're brave enough to reject the offer," said Sirius. "You're stronger than
him. Just believe in yourself."
Regulus smiled up at his brother. "Thanks Sirius," he said bringing his face
closer to Sirius's. Their faces drew closer and closer together, and Sirius
could feel Regulus's warm breath on his face. He gulped. What was going on?
Regulus closed his eyes, and Sirius did the same. He felt soft lips brush
against his and an arm winding round his waist, pulling him closer. He kissed
back, putting his arms up to Regulus's head, tangling his fingers in Regulus's
hair. The kiss got more passionate as Sirius felt a tongue slip its way into
his mouth. What the hell am I doing thought Sirius frantically. But he didn't
stop. He let the tongue explore his mouth. He let his own tongue massage
Regulus's in a way that made his whole body tingle.
The kiss continued on and on, and Sirius got more into it every second. When
the two finally broke apart, Sirius looked into the flushed face of his brother
and he saw the shock on Regulus's face.
"Fuck," mumbled Regulus, getting on his feet and rushing out of the door.
Sirius sighed. What the hell had he just done? Not only had he just kissed
his brother but he actually enjoyed it! He let his head fall back against the
wall and sighed again. He'd also cheated on his boyfriend. He absolutely adored
Remus to bits. He couldn't believe what he'd done... what would Remus say if he
found out? Imagine your boyfriend cheating on you with his brother! Sirius
shook his head. He was in so much trouble.
***** Hiding *****
Chapter by Obsession137
                               FORSAKEN_DESIRES
                                    Hiding
Sirius had avoided Regulus for the rest of the night, and the morning
afterwards. He couldn't work out why he'd enjoyed the kiss so much, but he knew
it was completely wrong and he couldn't even look his brother in the eye. After
a painful couple of hours at home, finally the Black family arrived at the
station. He didn't bother saying goodbye to his parents because he knew they
wouldn't want to wish him goodbye either. He rushed onto the train searching
the compartments for one of his friends. As he got near the end of the train,
he spotted James, Remus and Peter who beckoned him to sit with them. He let out
a sigh of relief and sat down next to Remus.
Seeing Remus in person was enough to make Sirius feel like the guiltiest person
on Earth. He saw those gorgeous amber eyes looking at him with such happiness
and he almost felt his heart break. Remus smiled at him and hugged him tightly.
Sirius could see that Remus was inhaling his scent, and he smiled. When they
broke apart, Sirius held his hand out for Remus to hold throughout the journey.
"I missed you so much," said Remus.
"I missed you too," Sirius said.
"Well, didn't you miss us?" asked James with a mock surprised face on.
"Of course I did," Sirius said, grinning. "I hate going home..."
"Why don't you just leave?" asked James.
"Well... Regulus wants me to stay, and he doesn't want to be alone with my mum
and dad," Sirius said, feeling his stomach lurch when he mentioned Regulus.
"But don't your parents actually like him though?" asked Peter.
"Yeah, they love him but I guess Reg likes having someone to talk to to... he
needs company..."
"Hmm, I guess so."
The rest of the journey consisted of Peter and James cracking jokes and eating
chocolate while Remus rested his head on Sirius's shoulder and Sirius stared
out the window. Sirius couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. He'd never felt
so good kissing anyone, and he'd had his fair share of kisses over the years.
He'd always thought that his kisses with Remus gave him the greatest feelings
but now he was beginning to think that Regulus... his brother... could make him
feel much better. He sighed. Remus sat up and looked into his eyes.
"Are you OK?" he asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah..."
"Are you sure?" questioned Remus. "You sighed... did you want me to move or
something?"
"No! Of course not! Come here," he said, pulling Remus into an embrace. He felt
his boyfriend smile into the embrace and he relaxed. He needed to stop having
these thoughts. He had an amazing boyfriend who cared about him so much... he
didn't want to lose the best thing he had.
But Remus's kisses weren't as satisfying as Regulus's...
But then again, maybe it was a one-off, and maybe Regulus isn't as good a
kisser as he was last night... not that he would find out, because he wasn't
ever going to kiss his brother again.
And if poor Remus found out what he'd done! Sirius couldn't bear the look on
Remus's face if he ever found out. Sirius decided that he was definitely better
sticking with Remus and forgetting what happened with Regulus. After all, he
had absolutely no chance with Regulus in the future, but he had a very good
chance of staying with Remus for a long time. At least Remus doesn't run off
after an amazing kiss, thought Sirius... But Reg was just freaked out he
pointed out to himself. I'd probably have run away if he hadn't.
"Sirius? You there?" asked James, waving his hand in front of Sirius's face.
"Yeah," said Sirius faintly. He hadn't noticed, but he'd been arguing with
himself for most of the train journey. He let go of Remus's hand as they left
the train, to avoid awkward questions from other students.
Dumbledore was giving his start of term speech and Sirius was trying to keep
his eyes open. James was kicking Lily under the table; trying to flirt, but
failing miserably. Remus and Peter were listening intently to Dumbledore and
Sirius was absent-mindedly looking at Regulus. He didn't notice he was staring
until Regulus turned and looked right back at him. Sirius felt his heart jump
and his face redden as he hastily looked down at the very interesting table. He
chanced a peek at his brother, and he saw the blush in Regulus's cheeks too.
Sirius smiled. At least it wasn't only him who was struggling with what had
happened.
Sirius felt a hand on his thigh and he turned his attention to Remus, who
looked unbelievably hot right now, in Sirius's opinion. How could he be
thinking of Regulus, when Remus was right next to him, running his hand up and
down his thigh?
"Sirius?" whispered Remus.
"Mmm?" answered Sirius, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the feel of Remus's hand
on him.
"I need to tell you something," Remus said nervously.
"What is it?" asked Sirius, opening his eyes immediately. What was wrong with
his boyfriend?
"It's nothing bad!" Remus said, noticing the change in Sirius's facial
expression. "It's... something I want to tell you later... before bed."
"Are you sure you don't want to tell me now?" Sirius asked eagerly. Remus
laughed.
"No. Later," he said, smiling that smile that Sirius adored. Sirius grinned
back.
An hour later, Sirius found himself bored out of his skull. Peter was writing a
letter to his mum, James was following Lily around while she was doing her
prefect duties, and Remus was with Lily, doing his prefect duties. Sirius
couldn't be bothered to stay in the dormitory so he grabbed James's
invisibility cloak and headed downstairs. There weren't a lot of people in the
common room so he kept quiet to ensure nobody would hear him sneaking out after
curfew. He walked through the corridors and down the stairs to the Great Hall.
He stood there for a while debating whether he should go down to the dungeons.
He knew there was no point because Regulus would be in his dormitory or in the
Slytherin common room but he still felt compelled to just go down and check.
For the first time in his life, Sirius genuinely wished he was in Slytherin –
only because he wanted to see his brother.
Again with the confused thoughts. He sighed. He kept changing his mind – one
minute he wanted to forget about the kiss and next minute he wanted to kiss
Regulus again. One minute he felt as though he was a complete idiot for
cheating on his wonderful boyfriend, and the next minute he was thinking to
himself, "oh, he'll never find out." At this moment in time, Sirius wanted to
find Regulus and settle things between them. Though he'd love to kiss his
brother again, he already had a boyfriend who he thought the absolute world of,
and he didn't want to jeopardise their relationship.
He took in a deep breath and headed down to the dungeons. It was dimly lit in
the corridor and it was quite cold, making Sirius shiver. Sirius nearly jumped
out of his skin when he noticed the very person he was looking for, sitting in
the corner leading off to the Potions classroom. Regulus had his head in his
hands, and he seemed to be shivering. Sirius pondered whether he should take
the invisibility cloak off or not, but finally decided he needed to speak to
Regulus, and this would be the perfect time. He could feel his heart hammering
in his chest; he hadn't spoken to Regulus since before their kiss, so he knew
it would be an awkward conversation. He gathered up all of his Gryffindor
courage, and pulled the invisibility cloak off himself. Apparently, Regulus
hadn't noticed him as he still had his head in his hands. Sirius cleared his
throat loudly, and Regulus looked up instantly, blushing a deep red and looking
back down at his hands.
"What are you doing?" asked Sirius. Regulus looked up at him with a confused
expression.
"Umm... sitting... on the floor... what does it look like I'm doing?"
"No.. I mean why are you sitting on the floor? Did you get kicked out or
something?" Sirius asked, and Regulus blushed again.
"I.. just needed to think... the common room was too loud."
"But you're freezing out here!" said Sirius. "I can see you shivering from
here."
"Look Sirius... I just needed to think... alone. That means alone OK? Without
you here..."
"I... sorry... I didn't mean to intrude... I was just walking and then I saw
you there," explained Sirius.
"Since when do you take walks in the dungeons?" asked Regulus. Sirius bit his
lip.
"Fine. I actually came down here to hand in my Potions work," Sirius lied.
"On the first night back? We haven't even had Potions yet..."
"Fine!" said Sirius angrily. "I... well.. I kind of... uhh... wanted to speak
to you."
"Oh," said Regulus, looking down. "Umm... what did you want to speak about? You
know we don't talk at school... You're in Gryffindor and I'm in Slytherin..."
"Reg... you know what I want to speak about," said Sirius awkwardly.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Regulus.
"YOU started it!" accused Sirius. "If you hadn't... you... I... argh! You
brought your face so bloody close... you did it!"
"Sirius... I... I'm sorry," Regulus said, and Sirius could tell he meant it. He
heard the sadness in his voice.
"I just... er... why Reg? Why did you do it?" Sirius asked the question that
had been on his mind ever since the kiss.
"I don't know... I didn't even know what I was doing. I know it sounds crazy,
but I felt like I didn't have a choice... I couldn't help it."
"Did you-" Sirius sighed. "-Did you enjoy it?"
"I... err... umm..."
"-because I enjoyed it," said Sirius truthfully, looking down. He couldn't
believe how embarrassed he felt.
"You did?" shouted Regulus.
"Shhh!"
"Oh sorry," he whispered.
"Yes, I enjoyed it. I.. uhh.. couldn't stop thinking about it," admitted
Sirius.
"Neither could I," said Regulus, so quietly that Sirius wasn't quite sure he
even spoke at all. Sirius sat down on the floor next to Regulus. He
accidentally brushed his hand against his brothers and his eyes opened in
shock.
"Reg... you're so cold!" he said. He was about to put his arms around Regulus,
but stopped. After all, hugging could lead to kissing... and he wasn't really
sure if he wanted that. Before he knew it, Regulus had already leaned against
him, and Sirius had put and arm around his shoulder without thinking. With
Sirius's other hand, he grabbed the invisibility cloak and threw it over them
both. Regulus laughed.
"Why? It's not like it'll warm us up..."
"It's an invisibility cloak you moron," said Sirius. "Just so nobody sees
us..."
"I don't understand... are we doing anything that shouldn't be seen?" asked
Regulus. Sirius smirked.
"Not yet..." he said, raising his eyebrows at Regulus who blushed.
"Sirius... I don't think-"
But he was cut off as Sirius brought his lips to Regulus's and they began
kissing again, but this time it was much more rough. Both boys were fighting
for dominance and their hands were pulling and tugging at each others clothes,
desperate for something more than kissing. Sirius could feel his erection
growing and he couldn't stand it any more. He pushed his groin hard against
Regulus's and was pleased to hear a quiet moan emit from his brothers mouth.
Sirius wondered if he'd ever heard anything so sexy in his life. He started
kissing Regulus's neck as more moans escaped Regulus's mouth, getting louder
and louder. Regulus grabbed Sirius's arms and pushed him up against the wall
hard, rubbing up against his erection.
"F-fuck!" breathed Sirius. "Mmm, fuck Reg..." Sirius reached down to undo the
button on his trousers but Regulus stopped him with a kiss.
"Let me," he said seductively, leaning down, reaching for the button on his
brothers trousers.
"Wait," said Sirius suddenly, grabbing Regulus's hand and stopping him from
proceeding. "I think someone's coming," he whispered, and Regulus straightened
up, covering his mouth. Sirius did the same, as they were both breathing
loudly. Sure enough, the footsteps started getting louder and Sirius could see
a shadow on the wall opposite where they were sitting. He heard voices... a
girl... two boys... Sirius's eyes widened... he could hear Remus's voice.
James, Lily and Remus walked around the corner.
"But c'mon... you have to admit... I am sexy enough for you," said James, who
was several steps behind Lily. Lily rolled her eyes, and Remus was laughing.
"Shut up Potter," Lily said coldly. "Why do you have to follow me everywhere?
Can't you go and harass someone else?"
"Not until you admit that you're in love with me sweetheart," he said. "AHHHH!"
"What's wrong?" asked Remus. James was jumping up and down screaming in agony.
Sirius saw Lily grin to herself.
"I think... I have a pole stuck up my arse!" screeched James hysterically.
Sirius nearly burst out laughing, but Regulus quickly put a hand over his mouth
to stop him.
"Umm... I don't see a pole anywhere," Remus said, clearly trying not to laugh.
Unfortunately for Lily, she couldn't hold it back. She burst out laughing.
"Dearest Lily," said James, wincing. "Would you please get this pole out of my
very sexy butt?"
"There is no pole there," Lily said. "And I'll only reverse it if you promise
to leave me alone."
"I can't promise tha- ahh! FINE! I promise," he muttered.
"Good," she said, and she lifted the spell. "Remus... I think we should just
head back now. Nobody seems to be out of bed."
"Yeah, OK," said Remus, and they disappeared around the corner. James stood
rooted on the spot. For a second, Sirius thought James could see him, but then
he let out a sigh and walked around the corner.
Sirius and Regulus sat for a moment in silence. Sirius pulled the invisibility
cloak off of them and stood up.
"I need to get back," he mumbled. "They'll be wondering where I am."
"But-"
"- Really, Reg... You should get back into your common room too..."
"I was having fun," muttered Regulus. Sirius grinned.
"Me too," he said, planting a light kiss on the top of Regulus's head. He
pulled the cloak over himself and headed back to Gryffindor Tower.
When he entered the room, all three of his room-mates turned to look at him
suspiciously.
"Where have you been?" asked James. Sirius shrugged.
"Just the kitchens," he lied. He pulled his shirt off, getting ready to go to
bed. He felt two arms wrap around his waist and he smiled.
"Sirius?" said Remus softly.
"Mmm?"
"I... I need to tell you something..."
"Oh yeah," said Sirius, who'd completely forgotten. "How about you come in my
bed and you tell me?"
"Yeah," Remus said, grinning. They got into Sirius's bed, and Sirius put his
arms around Remus, pulling him close. Remus put his hand up to touch Sirius's
face, and pulled him into a kiss. It wasn't overly passionate, but it was
enough to make Sirius's heart skip a beat. When they broke apart, Remus smiled.
"I... well, we've been together for seven months now," Remus said slowly. "And
you know I like you a lot. Don't get mad or anything, but when I first agreed
to go out with you, I sort of expected my heart to get broken. I thought you'd
cheat or something so I didn't want to open my heart to you completely, but
obviously I was wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong. Sirius... I've fallen
in love with you. I really have. I've never fallen for anyone in my life –
you're... so special... I just... Sirius, I love you so much. You're the best
boyfriend in the entire world, honestly. You mean everything to me."
Sirius had a lump in his throat; nobody had ever said anything like that to him
before and he wanted to smile and be happy about it, but he really felt like
crying. Remus had fallen for him. Remus had called him the best boyfriend in
the world when really, he was the worst boyfriend. Not even fifteen minutes
ago, he had been about to have sex with his own brother. He was cheating on
Remus, and he felt like the worst person in the entire world. Remus had said
he'd expected to get his heart broken and he thought Sirius would cheat on him.
He'd thought he hadn't been more wrong, but he couldn't have been more right
about it. After what Remus had just said, Sirius felt a thousand times worse
about kissing Regulus than he did before. However, he didn't want to upset
Remus, so he smiled.
"That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard Remus," he said, hugging him
tightly. "I love you, too. I have done for a while, but I don't know... I've
been afraid to say it in case you didn't feel the same way," said Sirius. It
was true. He adored Remus. That's one of the main reasons he felt so guilty.
He looked into Remus's eyes and felt his heart leap in his chest. Looking at
him, holding him, kissing him, made Sirius realize that it wasn't Regulus that
he wanted; it was Remus. He decided that tonight was the last time anything
would happen between him and Regulus, because it was completely wrong in all
ways possible, and he would be hurting the one person he lived for. Sirius fell
asleep with Remus in his arms, and the taste of Regulus lingering on his lips,
the guilt building up on him ferociously as he slipped into unconsciousness.
***** Quidditch *****
Chapter by Obsession137
                               FORSAKEN_DESIRES
                                   Quidditch
It had been a few weeks since they'd started back at school and Sirius was
finding it harder and harder to stay away from Regulus. In the corridors,
Regulus would smile at him and Sirius would find it difficult to ignore
the swooshing feeling in his chest. In the Great Hall, they'd make eye contact
and Sirius would force himself to look at Remus and think of Remus. Sirius
hated to admit it but his dreams were starting to involve Regulus too, and he
was beginning to worry that this would ruin everything he had with Remus.
It was October, and Sirius was asleep with his arm around Remus.
"Sirius? SIRIUS? Wake up or we're going to be late!" screamed James, whacking
Sirius around the head with a pillow. Sirius groaned and opened his eyes,
James's head coming into focus. He propped himself up on his elbows and yawned.
James was standing over him looking angry as ever, with his arms crossed and
his eyebrows raised.
"What?" Sirius asked tiredly. "We have ages till the match."
"Ages?" James asked. "We have an hour, Sirius!"
"It doesn't take me an hour to get ready," moaned Sirius, sitting up and
rubbing his eyes. James sighed impatiently.
"You have to get dressed, have a wash, brush your teeth, brush your hair, eat
your breakfast, come for my team talk and then go out on the pitch. And you'll
probably want to snog Remus for a while if I know you..."
"Oh, you know me so well," Sirius grinned, turning to face his boyfriend who
was still fast asleep. He pushed him lightly and Remus's eyes fluttered open
instantly. Sirius smiled down at him. "Hey," he said, leaning down and planting
a small kiss on Remus's lips. Remus smiled back and touched where Sirius had
just kissed him.
"Good luck for the match," said Remus. "You'll do great, both of you."
"Thanks," said James quickly, grabbing Sirius by the arms and pulling him out
of bed. James was the new Gryffindor captain and he was taking his new role
very seriously, making the team practise as often as possible. The first match
of the year was with Slytherin and this was James's first match as captain so
he was determined to win. Sirius groaned as James threw him into the bathroom
to get ready for breakfast.
===============================================================================
After about forty minutes of getting ready, Sirius was now making his way into
the Great Hall with James, Remus and Peter for breakfast. Remus and Peter were
still yawning as they'd gotten up a little bit later than James and Sirius.
Sirius was truly nervous for this Quidditch match. He'd never been nervous
before, but by going up against Slytherin, Sirius wasn't sure he'd be able to
concentrate. Regulus was the seeker of the opposing team, whereas Sirius was
the seeker on the Gryffindor team. He tried to think of anything else to get
him through breakfast. Remus was holding his hand under the table, squeezing it
lightly for reassurance that he'd do great in the match. Sirius smiled at Remus
as he finished off his breakfast.
"C'mon then lazyhead," said James, pulling Sirius away from the table towards
the doors of the Great Hall.
"Good luck," called Peter and Remus. James continued dragging him away until
they got outside the castle and then he sighed.
"Can't you walk?" he asked exasperatedly.
"Huh? Oh, yeah," mumbled Sirius. James eyed him with confusion.
"There's something up," he stated. "What's up, Sirius?"
"Nothing," lied Sirius as they made their way down to the Quidditch pitch.
James shook his head.
"I know there's something up Padfoot," he said. "You can tell me after the
match."
"But I don't know if I want to tell anyone," Sirius said nervously.
"Fine. You don't have to tell me but just know that I'll listen if you want to
tell, and I won't judge you or tell anyone," James said, putting an arm around
Sirius's shoulder comfortingly. Sirius smiled.
"Thankyou James," he said. "I think I will tell you after the match."
"Good," James answered, grinning. "Now, let's go and win this match."
===============================================================================
The Gryffindor team stepped out onto the pitch, clutching their broomsticks in
their hands and feeling more confident after James's pep talk. Sirius looked
around at the stands and spotted Remus waving at him with a big smile on his
face. Sirius waved back, grinning. He looked at the Slytherin team and frowned.
Most of the opposite team were large and burly – not people you'd like to have
hit a bludger at you. The only two who seemed to be about a normal height and
weight were Severus and Regulus. James and Crabbe reluctantly shook hands, and
both teams mounted their brooms. Everyone lifted off into the air, flying to
their positions to begin playing. Madam Hooch released the two bludgers and the
snitch, and held the quaffle in front of her. As she threw it high in the air,
she shouted, "let the game begin!" and blew her whistle.
Immediately, people were flying around. James caught the quaffle and started
making his way towards the hoops on the other side. He swerved around various
Slytherins and ducked a bludger. When he reached the end, he scored, making all
of the Gryffindors cheer. Sirius grinned; James was an amazing Quidditch
player. Now, Wilkes had the quaffle and he was flying up the field, passing it
to Snape who managed to swerve out of the way of a bludger. He was racing up
the pitch when Mary McDonald caught up to him. He made to pass the quaffle to
Mulciber, but it was intercepted by Mary, who tore down the pitch back up to
the Gryffindor hoops. Unfortunately, when she threw the quaffle towards the
hoop, Crabbe grabbed it and threw it back to Snape. One of the Gryffindor
beaters, Louis Garmont whacked the bludger hard, so it went hurtling towards
Snape and hit him square on the head. There were gasps from the Slytherin
stands as Snape fell limply off his broom and landed on the grass below.
Sirius sniggered, and turned his attention back to finding the snitch. He
hadn't seen it at all yet. As he looked down at the game below, he saw
Gryffindor score again and threw his hands up in the air, cheering. He grabbed
the broom quickly as he felt himself slipping. He looked around to find
Regulus, who was hovering at the same position opposite him. He didn't seem to
have seen the snitch either, so Sirius sighed and let his eyes search the
pitch.
James had the quaffle again, and he was moving fast as he threw it to Mary, who
passed it to Frank who scored. Slytherin still had no points but Sirius knew
that if Regulus caught the snitch, Slytherin could still win. Sirius looked
down at James who was giving him a thumbs up, and Sirius grinned back at his
friend. James was obviously extremely pleased that his first match as captain
was going so well. Sirius was sure he could hear his name being called so
immediately turned his head to look at Remus and Peter who were pointing
frantically at Regulus. When Sirius looked, Regulus was darting down towards a
golden ball; the snitch. Sirius grabbed hold of the front of his broom and
leant forward, gaining more speed as he followed the snitch.
He ended up side-by-side with Regulus who had his eyes marked on the snitch.
Sirius however, kept looking from the snitch to his brother. They were close to
the ground now and the snitch wasn't far ahead of them. Sirius brushed
Regulus's arm as they raced to catch the small ball, and Regulus turned to look
at him. They locked eyes briefly and Sirius felt a jolt in his stomach. Sirius
smiled at his brother and they both looked back at the snitch, racing forwards
to grab it.
"Hey Sirius?" called Regulus over the chants and cheers from the crowd.
"What?"
"How did you feel about what happened in the dungeons?" he asked, winking.
Sirius couldn't believe the things that one simple wink did to him. He felt his
hands slip from the broom as Regulus sped up rapidly, gaining on the snitch.
Sirius gritted his teeth. Regulus had obviously tried to distract him, and it
had definitely worked. He leaned forwards as far as he could go and he felt
himself speeding up.
Cheers from the Slytherin stands told him that Slytherin had just scored but he
couldn't take his eyes off the snitch. Regulus was just inches away from it
now, and Sirius saw him extending his hand.
"AHHHHH!" screamed Sirius in fake agony, making Regulus turn to look at him. He
knew Regulus would worry, so took this chance to catch up with him. Regulus
must have realized that Sirius was messing with him, so went back to chasing
after the snitch which was still very close to him. He extended his had once
again, but this time the cry of agony came from Regulus. A bludger came
shooting towards him and hit him hard in the side, throwing him off of his
broom.
"Regulus?" shouted Sirius in worry, looking down at his brother. Luckily, they
were only feet off the ground so Regulus wouldn't be so badly hurt. Sirius
looked at Regulus and back at the snitch which was now flying off into the
distance. He decided he'd better win the game and then check if Regulus was all
right.
He zoomed off after the snitch which was now flying up towards the main action
of the game. He was getting closer, closer... he could almost touch it... A
bludger missed him by half an inch and his heart was beating fast as he closed
his hand over the golden ball and the game ended. Gryffindor cheered loudly and
Sirius was pulled into hugs from all of his team-mates. The Slytherin team
didn't make much of a fuss as they walked silently off of the pitch, some of
them glaring back at the Gryffindors.
"Well done mate," said James, clapping Sirius on the back.
"Well done yourself," Sirius said. "You played excellent!"
"Did you like my bludger?" asked Louis excitedly. "Knocked the wind right out
of that other seeker."
"Oh no, Reg," said Sirius, suddenly remembering what had happened. "I'll meet
you in the common room James. I need to go and see Regulus in the hospital
wing."
"Ok, see you later," said James as Sirius ran off.
===============================================================================
When Sirius entered the hospital wing, Regulus was lying alone on his bed.
Snape was unconscious in the next bed and Madam Pomfrey was in the next room.
"Reg?" asked Sirius hesitantly, stepping towards his brothers bed.
"Sirius?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"What are you doing here?" Regulus asked, opening his eyes.
"Come to see you of course. I was so worried when that bludger hit you," said
Sirius. Regulus smiled up at him.
"You were worried?" he asked.
"Of course I was! I'm your brother."
"Oh yeah," Regulus muttered. "That makes everything more awkward."
"I know," mumbled Sirius quietly. "I sometimes forget."
"Me too," Regulus admitted as Sirius sat down on his bed.
"How bad is it?" asked Sirius.
"Not bad... just a few broken ribs. I should be out of here by tonight."
"Thank god for that," said Sirius in a relieved tone.
"Sirius? Do you... regret what.. happened between us?"
The look on Regulus's face was enough to make Sirius lie. "Of course I don't
regret it," he said, grinning. "Do you?"
"Definitely not," said Regulus. "I mean, the first time I was scared. I didn't
know what was happening."
"Me neither."
"I've never kissed anyone before," Regulus said. "Never mind kissing my
own brother."
"I know what you mean. I've never kissed anyone before either," Sirius lied. He
felt bad for saying it, and bad for forgetting Remus, but looking at Regulus
made him want to kiss him all over again.
"You haven't?" asked Regulus. "But you're so... never mind."
"I'm so... what?" asked Sirius who was now interested in what Regulus had been
about to say.
"You're so... sexy," said a rather embarrassed looking Regulus. Sirius grinned.
"Hey, you're not so bad yourself," he said, winking. Before he could react,
Regulus had pulled him down into another kiss. It was a heartfelt kiss, and
Sirius hadn't felt anything so good in his entire life. He'd never had a kiss
this good in his entire life and he doubted he'd ever have one this good
again... Regulus tugged at Sirius's shirt when the door opened and Sirius
scrambled off of the bed.
"Mr Black, there is no time for visitors at the moment. You should be in
class," said Madam Pomfrey angrily.
"Get better soon, Reg," Sirius called as he was being shoved out of the room.
"Already feeling loads better," Regulus answered, winking at him as he
disappeared through the doors of the hospital wing.
===============================================================================
Sirius sighed, guilt rushing through him again as he made his way through the
portrait hole. He needed to tell someone. He needed to get it out. He needed to
find James and confide in him. As he walked into the common room, he spotted
James trying to flirt with Lily. He strode up to his friend.
"James? Can I... er, speak to you?"
"Oh, about that thing from earlier... of course!"
"Thanks."
The two boys stepped outside of the common room and Sirius sighed. It was time
to tell the truth and get it all out.
***** Telling The Truth *****
Chapter by Obsession137
                               FORSAKEN_DESIRES
                               Telling The Truth
Sirius led the way to an empty classroom, his heart thumping hard against his
chest. He had to tell James. He needed to tell his best friend because he was
so confused. When they got into the classroom, Sirius closed the door behind
them and pointed his wand at the door.
"Muffliato," he muttered, and then turned to James who was waiting expectantly
for him to say something.
"So?" James asked, raising his eyebrows. Sirius fiddled with the hem of his
shirt. It was so difficult to admit to.
"I... er... well... you can't repeat what I say to anyone," Sirius said.
"Especially not Remus."
"I won't tell anyone," James said smiling. "What is it?"
"I did something," Sirius said lamely, looking down.
"You did something?" James asked. "What did you do?"
"I... err... something that I should be ashamed of," said Sirius.
"... But you're not ashamed?" guessed James, and Sirius nodded. "So what did
you do?"
"This is really hard for me to say," muttered Sirius.
"You want to write it down or something?"
"No... I'll just say it but please don't hate me or anything," Sirius pleaded.
"Like I could hate you," said James. "You're my best mate."
"Thanks."
"So... c'mon, tell me!"
"I..."
"Spit it out," laughed James. Sirius sighed.
"I sort of ch-cheated on Remus," Sirius said quietly, feeling tears forming in
his eyes. He didn't dare look at James's face.
"Oh... well, that's not good," James commented. "And you're not ashamed of it?"
"Well I feel like the guiltiest person in the world because Remus is so amazing
and he trusts me and I've gone and betrayed him," Sirius said. "I just... I
don't know what to do, James."
"You really shouldn't have done that mate... you know how much Remus loves
you."
"I know... but it sort of just... happened. I couldn't help it."
"I just can't believe you'd do that to him," said James, shaking his head.
"That's completely out of order, Sirius."
"I know!" said Sirius angrily. "Do you think I don't know that? I see the look
in his eyes when he's talking to me and when he looks at me and it kills me!"
"How many times have you done it?" asked James.
"Three times now," admitted Sirius shamefully, and James sighed.
"Three times? Why, Sirius? What's this other person got that Remus doesn't
have?"
"I have no idea," said Sirius. "I... I really shouldn't enjoy it because it's
so wrong but I can't help liking it."
"Who was it with?" asked James. Sirius sighed again. This part was going to be
hard.
"Please now, don't think I'm a creep or anything," said Sirius cautiously.
"I already think you're a creep," James joked, ruffling his friends hair. "Who
was it?"
"James... really... I.. err..."
"C'mon!"
"It was w-w-with... err.." Sirius closed his eyes and prayed that James would
understand. "It was with R-Regulus."
There was a long, painfully awkward silence following the words Sirius had
spoke. Sirius chanced a look up at James who was staring right back at him with
cold eyes. "Do you hate me?" Sirius asked in a small voice.
"I don't hate you," James said. "But you know who will?"
"Remus," mumbled Sirius.
"Sirius, you cheated on your boyfriend – who by the way, is the kindest,
sweetest, most loving person I know – with your own brother!"
"I know it sounds bad, but-"
"There is no 'but'!" shouted James. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking-"
"You never think, do you?"
"I'm sorry," muttered Sirius, looking back at his feet.
"Is it really me you should be apologizing to?" James asked. Sirius shook his
head.
"I can't apologize to him," said Sirius. "I don't want him to know."
"He deserves to know, Sirius!"
"But I don't want to lose him," cried Sirius desperately. "Please don't tell
him."
"I'm not going to tell him, since I already said I wouldn't," James said. "But
I don't understand why you did it!"
"I... he was scared at home and w-we were just talking and h-h-he just kind of
k-kissed me," stuttered Sirius. "And it was great."
"You should be repulsed. It's disgusting!"
"I couldn't figure out my thoughts..."
"Sirius," hissed James. "I suggest you stop thinking of Regulus and promise me
nothing will ever happen between the two of you again."
"I can't promise that," said Sirius sadly. "It's like you promising me you'll
never think of Evans again."
"Get over yourself! At least when I think of Evans, I'm thinking of a girl
who's single and very much unrelated to me, and at least I'm not cheating on
the love of my life with her because she is the love of my life! You on the
other hand, are already in a perfectly good relationship with the love
of your life and you're being such a fucking prick by cheating on him with your
own bloody brother! Honestly Sirius, be thankful you have Remus... you're so
lucky to have somebody who loves you with all of his heart, and you're just
taking advantage and being a selfish bastard!"
"I know," Sirius mumbled almost silently.
"IF YOU KNOW, THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT TO HIM?"
"I don't know!" shouted Sirius, tears falling from his eyes. "I just don't
know."
"Please stop," said James. "Do you realize how hurt he'll be when he finds out?
And yes, he will find out if you don't stop immediately..."
"Not if we do it in secret," said Sirius.
"What sort of attitude is that? It's Ok to cheat on Remus if he doesn't know
about it... is that what you believe?"
"Of course not... I didn't mean that," sighed Sirius. "I just don't think
I can stop doing it."
"Give me one good reason why you can't stop going off and kissing your
brother," James said, folding his arms and staring right into Sirius's eyes.
"B-because he makes me f-f-feel good," said Sirius.
"Doesn't Remus make you feel good?"
"Obviously he does! He makes me feel great, but I think Regulus makes me feel
better."
"You're disgusting, Sirius," James spat. "C'mon, we need to go to Potions..."
"Yeah," mumbled Sirius, grabbing his bag and heading for the door. James put
out a hand to stop him.
"I'm not happy with you at all, you know?" he said, and Sirius nodded. His
cheeks were stained with tears and he couldn't look James in the eye.
===============================================================================
They left the classroom and made their way down to the dungeons in silence.
When they reached the classroom, they met Peter and Remus by the door.
"Sirius!" said Remus, running towards him and hugging him. Sirius smiled and
stroked his boyfriends hair. He looked at James and noticed the sadness in his
face as he watched the two of them together. When Remus pulled away, he looked
up into Sirius's face and frowned.
"Have you been crying?" he asked.
"No," said Sirius quickly. "Why would you say that?"
"You look like you've been crying," said Remus, touching Sirius's cheek.
"You're not upset or anything, are you?"
"Of course not Rem," said Sirius, smiling. "It must have just been from the
wind getting in my eyes during Quidditch."
"Are you sure?" Remus asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure. C'mon, let's go inside," he said, pulling Remus into the
classroom. Remus, Sirius, James and Peter all shared a desk in the classroom,
and Sirius could feel James's eyes on him throughout the duration of the
lesson. Sirius sighed and looked at him.
"Have you got something to say?" he asked, teeth gritted.
"You know perfectly well I have something to say!"
"Fuck off... I thought you said you'd understand! Stop looking at me as if I'm
some sort of creep!"
"Hey guys... err... what's going on?" asked Remus, looking from Sirius to
James. Neither answered him, so he looked at Peter who shrugged.
"You're lucky I'm such a good friend," said James. "Otherwise I'd tell."
"Tell what?" asked Peter.
"SHUT UP PETER!" hissed Sirius.
"Hey, he was only curious," said Remus. "Siri... calm down!"
"I won't calm down!" shouted Sirius, shrugging Remus's hand off him. He stood
up with his fists clenched by his side. "You're not a good friend!" he screamed
at James, making other people in the class turn their heads to watch. "If you
were a good friend you'd understand!"
"SIRIUS!" said Remus, pulling him back into his seat. "What's going on? What
happened between the two of you?"
"None of your business," said Sirius angrily, getting up and storming out.
He walked as fast as his legs could carry him, his fists still clenched and his
teeth gritted. How could James be so horrible? He'd confided in him, and yet
James kept having a go at him! James was supposed to be the one who would
understand! Sirius kicked the wall hard and let himself cry again, the tears
rolling off his face relentlessly. He started climbing the stairs to get to the
main school, his footsteps echoing off the stone walls loudly. Just as he was
at the top step, he collided hard with someone, falling back down to the bottom
of the stairs with a crash.
"Sirius!" shouted a voice. Sirius groaned. His head was throbbing and he wasn't
sure he could sit up. The corridor was out of focus and he could hear a loud
ringing in his ears. He heard footsteps around him, but he couldn't move.
"Take him to the hospital wing," he heard someone say, and he felt himself
being lifted. He was sure he could see his friends in the crowd of people
standing around, and he could see a number of teachers. There were a few
Slytherins gathered around and he could hear them sniggering and laughing at
him, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get to his bed so he could lie down
and forget it all. Everything went black.
===============================================================================
When he awoke, he realized he was lying in the hospital wing as the room, and
his friends faces came into focus. He saw Peter, smiling at him. He could see
James who looked sick with worry, and he could see Remus – poor, poor Remus,
who had tears in his eyes. Remus grabbed hold of Sirius's hand and sat on the
chair next to his bed.
"Sirius?" he asked quietly. "Are you okay?"
"Mmm," replied Sirius. "I'm good."
"Oh thank god for that!" said Remus, flopping forwards so that he was half
lying over Sirius's body. Sirius looked down at his boyfriend and rubbed his
back soothingly. Remus looked up at him with teary eyes. "You fell down so
far," he sobbed. "And you weren't answering us when we were talking to you and
I was so worried."
"It's all right Rem," said Sirius. "I feel fine now."
"Good," said Remus, standing up and rubbing his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sirius," said James, stepping forward and sitting on the edge of
his bed. He leaned forwards and whispered in Sirius's ear: "I'm sorry I wasn't
very nice to you. I understand that you can't help how you feel and I mean, if
you really want to do that to Remus then I can't stop you."
"Thank you James," Sirius said, smiling and pulling his friend into a heartfelt
hug. This was all he needed; a little reassurance.
When his friends left, he felt himself falling asleep, this time much more
happier than before. James understood, and that was all he could ask for.
***** Heartbreak *****
Chapter by Obsession137
                               FORSAKEN_DESIRES
                                  Heartbreak
Sirius opened his eyes slowly, taking in his surroundings. Nobody was sitting
by his bed any more and his head was feeling a little bit better. Carefully
putting his arms on the bed either side of him, he pushed himself up so that he
was in a sitting position. He regretted it though, as a sudden wave of nausea
rushed over him, forcing him to lie back down. He felt light-headed, but as
though there was something heavy inside his brain at the same time... it was an
odd sensation, but not a pleasant one. He closed his eyes again. Perhaps it was
best to just lie there until he felt ready to get back to lessons again.
"Sirius?"
He recognised the voice straight away as Remus's, so he opened his eyes. Remus
had been about to sit down, but stopped when Sirius had opened his eyes.
Instead, he sat on the bed with Sirius and took his hand, squeezing it
comfortingly.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, looking straight into Sirius's eyes. Sirius
smiled as he felt the familiar jolt in his stomach as he took in the beautiful
sight in front of him.
"I'm all right," he answered. "I should just refrain from sitting up."
"Madam Pomfrey made me go back to class before," said Remus apologetically. "I
really didn't want to leave you but I had to, sorry."
"I was sleeping anyway. The only thing you'd have missed was me drooling in my
sleep," Sirius laughed.
"Well it's lunchtime so I brought you some food for if you get hungry," said
Remus, gesturing to the tray of food he'd put on the bedside table.
"Aw Rem, you didn't have to do that," said Sirius.
"I just don't want you to be hungry," smiled Remus. "I hope you don't have to
stay in overnight."
"Same," muttered Sirius. "I'm already bored out of my skull."
"Well you got out of History," Remus pointed out, and Sirius grinned.
"I guess that's one advantage of falling down the stairs."
"Yeah, I guess. Sorry, but I have to leave in a minute," said Remus sadly.
"I'll be back later though."
"OK."
"I love you," Remus said softly, leaning down to plant a chaste kiss on
Sirius's lips.
"You too," Sirius replied quietly, smiling up at his boyfriend as he made his
way out of the hospital wing. He sighed and thought about Remus. James had been
wrong earlier – Remus wasn't the love of his life. As much as he adored the
werewolf, he wasn't in love with him and he'd never been, though he felt
something very close to love. In fact, if he was being totally honest with
himself, Sirius believed that he was closer to loving Regulus than he was to
loving Remus. This was completely wrong on so many levels and he knew this, but
people just couldn't help who they fell for. If his parents ever found out...
Sirius tried his best not to think of the consequences. It was bad enough
that he'd be disowned, but poor Regulus would be punished too, and Sirius
couldn't bring himself to even imagine his younger brother in such a situation.
If Regulus was to be disowned, he'd have nowhere to go. At least Sirius had
James to turn to if he was ever disowned, but Regulus needed his family. Maybe,
Sirius thought, this is a good reason to just stop carrying on with Regulus. He
didn't want his brother to get into trouble, after all. He closed his eyes,
frustrated. Why did everything have to be so complicated?
As the day progressed, his friends came and left and it was getting darker and
darker outside. The hallways were almost silent and Sirius was becoming
restless. Madam Pomfrey had already told him that he was to spend the night in
the hospital wing, but he was seriously considering just walking out.
"I'll be in the other room boys," called Madam Pomfrey, shutting the doors.
"Call me if you need me." With that, she made her way into the room leading off
the side of the main hospital ward.
"Sirius?" hissed a quiet voice from Sirius's left, making him jump in surprise.
He turned his head to face the bed to his left, which had a curtain around it.
After a minute, a head appeared between the curtains; Regulus's head.
"Reg!" shouted Sirius.
"Shh! Madam Pomfrey could hear..."
"Oh right, yeah... I completely forgot you were in here," said Sirius. It had
seemed so long ago since the Quidditch match that morning. "Are you feeling any
better?"
"I'm great," he answered, smiling. "Especially now that we're alone."
"We are, aren't we?" Sirius smirked. "All... night... long."
"I like the sound of that," Regulus said, stepping closer to Sirius's bed.
Sirius's breath hitched in his throat and his heart rate picked up. He
desperately wanted to scream for Regulus to stay away, and tell him that he
already had a boyfriend, but something inside him wasn't allowing him to do so.
Something was protesting – telling him that he wanted this and that he didn't
care that he had a boyfriend because Remus wasn't here to see it happening.
"Regulus, I don't know about this," Sirius said, backing away. Regulus didn't
stop moving towards him however, and he kept smiling.
"Sirius?"
"Mmhmm?" gulped Sirius nervously.
"Do you like me?" Regulus asked seductively, climbing onto Sirius's bed so that
he was almost on top of him. Sirius fought every impulse to reach up and press
his lips against Regulus's. Unable to answer, he nodded, keeping his eyes glued
on his brothers face. Regulus leaned down slowly, so that he was inches away
from Sirius's face.
"I like you," he said quietly, a small smile playing on his lips. "A lot."
"You do?" asked Sirius, feeling Regulus's warm breath on his face. If he just
lifted his head a little, they'd be kissing.
"Very much," whispered Regulus. Sirius wondered how he'd never noticed how
incredibly sexy his brother was before. The way he was on top of Sirius,
whispering seductively, made a shiver run down Sirius's spine; an excited sort
of shiver. Sirius lifted his hand up hesitantly to rest on the back of
Regulus's neck, pulling him down so that their lips were only millimetres
apart.
"Kiss me," breathed Sirius, closing his eyes. He kept them closed for a few
seconds before he felt Regulus's lips press against his own. He felt Regulus's
hands run down his arms, over his chest and down to his stomach. Letting out a
quiet moan, Sirius pulled back for a second.
"Reg," he said softly, looking into Regulus's eyes. "Touch me."
Regulus kissed him again, this time more roughly, tangling his fingers in
Sirius's messy hair. Sirius pulled his brothers body down on top of his,
kissing back, pushing his tongue into Regulus's mouth forcefully. Regulus moved
his hand down Sirius's side slowly, roaming further down his body until he
pressed down on Sirius's crotch. Sirius let out a stifled moan and gasped at
the electrifying touch.
".. Reg.. I.. ahh.. mmm... I love you," he said in between kisses and touches.
Regulus pulled back, looking into Sirius's eyes.
"You what?"
"I think I love you," Sirius whispered.
"You don't mean that," said Regulus, blushing.
"I do mean it," replied Sirius, smiling. He'd never meant anything more in his
life. He realized now. He was in love with Regulus. Everything about his
brother lured him in – his gorgeous shining eyes, his heart-lifting smile, his
alluring scent, his unbelievably beautiful personality – Regulus was perfect in
every way. He hadn't been able to comprehend it before – why when he was with
Remus, his heart had never felt this full; the way he felt for Remus was
nowhere near love. Sirius felt relieved that he had now finally worked it out –
the jumble that had previously been messing with his head was fixed, and he
felt a hundred times better. He grinned up at Regulus, their eyes meeting,
making Sirius's heart want to leap out of his chest.
"I love you too," whispered Regulus. Sirius couldn't believe his ears – had
Regulus really just said that? His frantic thoughts came to a halt when Regulus
kissed him again – this time, lovingly. It didn't feel so forbidden any more to
Sirius. It felt more right. He kissed back with such passion, he felt like his
heart would burst from excessive amounts of love. When they broke apart, Sirius
couldn't help but grin at the flustered face of his brother. It was dark, but
he could still see the tint of redness in Regulus's cheeks and his ruffled hair
sticking up in all directions. Sirius supposed he looked similar with the
flushed face and the messy hair, but on Regulus, it looked sexy as hell. He
couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy.
Regulus rolled over so that he was lying next to Sirius in bed, and Sirius
pulled the covers up so that they were both underneath.
"That was... I've never felt so good in my life," admitted Sirius, grinning and
holding Regulus close to him.
"Really?" asked a small voice from the door. Fuck, thought Sirius. He sat up,
ignoring the agonizing pain in his head. He felt his heart drop lower than he
would've though possible. There, standing in the doorway, holding a box of
chocolates and some sort of card was Remus. His eyes were wide and glistening
with tears. He didn't look angry or upset – he looked utterly heart-broken.
Sirius had a lump in his throat and he tried to talk, but no words made their
way out of his mouth. What could he say?
"What are you doing here?" asked Regulus quickly, jumping out of the bed and
making his way back to his own bed. "You're not supposed to be here!"
"Reg stop," said Sirius. Remus didn't deserve to be shouted at after the sight
he'd just seen. Sirius turned his attention to Remus. "H-how long have you been
there?"
"A while," croaked Remus sadly, looking at Sirius with so much pain in his
eyes. Sirius couldn't face looking at him; the guilt was overwhelming and he
didn't have a clue what to say. Remus spoke up again. "Sirius... I...
I... why would you do that!" he asked with tears falling down his cheeks.
"I don't know Rem," mumbled Sirius.
"What do you mean?" asked Regulus suddenly. "You just told me you love me!"
"Regulus, please... not right now. Just go to sleep or something!"
"No," said Remus. "I should go. I obviously interrupted s-something." He turned
around and started making his way out of the room, walking with his shoulders
hunched and he seemed to be shaking.
Sirius hated himself. How could he do that to someone so kind and special? He
felt like the meanest, nastiest person in the world.
"Remus, wait!" he shouted, getting out of his bed and rushing after him. His
head was disagreeing with him. The pain was unbearable, but he didn't stop
until he reached the doorway. He grabbed onto the wooden beam for support.
"Remus!"
Remus turned around, wiping a tear from his eyes. "What?"
"I... I'm so sorry, Rem... I don't even know what I was doing... I... oh god
Remus, I feel so bad! Please don't hate me... I'm so so sorry..."
"I don't hate you," said Remus sadly. "I love you... and you obviously d-don't
love me b-back. I understand." Sirius knew that wasn't true – Remus didn't
understand. He could see the heart-break in Remus's eyes. He could see the
sadness and emptiness in those beautiful eyes that he adored so much and he
felt guiltier than he'd ever been before.
"But you don't understand," protested Sirius.
"I do understand! You'd rather be with your brother... family comes first...
whatever Sirius," Remus said, putting the chocolates and the card down on the
floor and walking down the corridor.
"Remus!" shouted Sirius, but Remus ignored him and carried on walking. Sirius
sighed. Why couldn't he have a normal life, like everyone else? Why couldn't he
be more like James? Or Peter? They'd never had to go through anything like this
and Sirius wasn't sure he could handle it. He was only sixteen. Couldn't he be
more like the other boys in his year? Couldn't his mind be set on Quidditch and
girls? No. He had to have the complicated life.
He'd been perfectly happy when he was younger. His family loved him, and his
mother didn't actually want to hurt him. He was sorted into Gryffindor and
everything changed. He was frowned upon at home and his parents disliked him.
In third year, he was perfectly happy – leading an almost normal life until
horrible things began happening in the wizarding world. People were being
murdered and his family were all for it. Once again, his happiness faded. Then,
he'd been perfectly content being a normal, straight boy until he started
developing feelings for Remus, and he felt miserable again. He'd been happy
with Remus until he kissed Regulus, and his world had come crashing down. Now,
he'd been happier than he'd felt in ages with Regulus, and Remus had walked in
and caught him, replacing his happiness with anger and frustration and sadness.
It seemed that every time he was happy, things went completely wrong.
He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there staring down the corridor
where Remus had walked down, but he felt his head spinning and decided he'd
better get back into bed. As he began to turn back, he noticed the chocolates
and the card lying on the floor and bent down to pick them up. The chocolates
were from Honeydukes and he'd been after them for weeks. He smiled and looked
at the card. From what he could see, Remus had made it himself.
On the front, it said 'Get Well Soon' in gold writing. It was beautiful and
Sirius could tell that it must have taken hours to make. He opened the card
carefully to see the message inside:
'Dear Sirius,
Do you know how worried I was when I saw you lying on the floor? I thought
something terrible had happened. I thank god that you're not too badly hurt...
I don't know what I'd do without you.
I just wanted to tell you to get well soon... I need you back here making jokes
and making me smile again. I just want you to be OK. I thought you would like
the chocolates because I know you've had your eyes on them for weeks in
Hogsmeade. You deserve them.
You're the most amazing boyfriend I could possibly ask for... I can't even
explain it to you! Just wanted to let you know that I love you more than ever
and I feel like the luckiest person in the world just to have you by my side at
nights and to have your arms around me of all people. You've changed my life
and I thought you should know that because having an accident like this makes
me realize that I haven't told you enough how much I care about you.
Please, please get better soon baby...
All my love,
Remus
xxx'
Sirius swallowed. He was aware that he'd been crying while reading the card,
and he felt like killing himself. This made everything seem a lot worse. Poor
Remus had opened up, writing right from his heart and then walked in on his
boyfriend snogging his own brother. Sirius felt sick.
He'd been horrible.
Yes, he had established that he was now in love with Regulus, but he couldn't
help feeling completely devastated that Remus probably didn't want to speak to
him. Maybe it was because Remus was first-most his friend, and he didn't want
to lose a friend...
Maybe he missed it. Maybe he missed the kisses and hugs and maybe he did like
Remus more than he'd thought maybe it was just the words that Remus said that
Sirius liked. All Sirius knew was that he'd be lucky if Remus ever spoke to him
again, and he felt his heart sink at this realisation. Had he broken up the
Marauder's? If Remus and Sirius weren't talking, then James and Sirius weren't
talking, because James would definitely side with Remus. It would only be him
and Peter left – if Peter was willing to speak to him.
He always had Regulus... but Regulus was a Slytherin, and Slytherin's didn't
associate with Gryffindor's. Regulus wouldn't want to lose his friends by
hanging around with Sirius, so he'd be by himself. Maybe he could speak to
Lily... She would maybe understand...
His head was pounding and he felt like throwing up. With one last sigh, he felt
himself fall down and hit the hard stone floor as everything blurred into
darkness.
***** Fights and Arrangements *****
Chapter by Obsession137
                               FORSAKEN_DESIRES
                            Fights and Arrangements
Sirius woke up at lunchtime the next day. Regulus hadn't dared try and sneak
into his bed when Madam Pomfrey insisted to stay by and make sure Sirius didn't
try to escape again. When Sirius opened a sleepy eye, he could see Madam
Pomfrey tending to another patient across the room. He yawned and sat up.
"Can I go?" he asked sleepily. She turned to look at him worriedly.
"I suppose you can – as long as you're feeling OK..."
"I'm fine." His head wasn't hurting at all, and all he wanted to do was get out
of the hospital wing.
"Well... you may leave. If your head begins hurting again, make sure you come
back immediately, yes?" she said. Sirius nodded and got out of his bed.
He walked all the way up to the Gryffindor common room, and that's when it all
came back to him.
Remus had seen it all – the kissing, the touching, the smiles. He'd heard the
'I love yous' and he'd watched Sirius admit his feelings for Regulus. Sirius
closed his eyes as he wished he could go back in time and fix everything.
It was like he'd been drunk – waking up to remember all of the terrible things
that had happened, and there was nothing he could do about it.
As he walked upstairs to his dormitory, he stopped before pulling on the
handle. Would his friends want to talk to him? He hoped they did, but he
couldn't blame them if they didn't. Taking in a deep breath, he opened the
door.
"Sirius! Are you OK now?" asked Peter suddenly.
"I'm fine," Sirius said. It wasn't the truth. He was fine physically but not
mentally. All he wanted to do was cry. He was going to be in so much trouble...
"So, what was actually wrong with you?"
"Er... I don't know... I didn't really ask," laughed Sirius. He'd been too pre-
occupied with the battle in his head; Remus vs Regulus.
"You idiot," said Peter, shaking his head and sitting back down on his bed.
===============================================================================
Peter didn't talk to him for the rest of the time he was in there (which wasn't
very long). He ended up leaving the room and making his way towards the beech
tree by the lake. As he got closer, he could see the outline of someone else
sitting there, and turned around to make his way back up to his dorm. He could
hear someone calling him, and he suspected it was the person who had been
sitting under the tree. He didn't turn around to see who it was. Eventually
though, the person caught up with him and he sighed when he recognised the
voice.
"Are you an idiot?" shouted James, pushing Sirius to the floor with force.
Sirius landed on the grass, staring up at his friend with sadness.
"Well say something then!"
"I... really... I'm just sorry," Sirius said lamely, and James laughed in a
slightly scary way.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO REMUS?" he spat angrily, kicking Sirius hard in the
side. "HE LOVES YOU! YOU'RE HORRIBLE! YOU'RE NASTY! YOU'RE CRUEL!
YOU'RE STUPID! YOU'RE-"
"I know I am!" Sirius shouted back, as he stood up. "I don't know why I did it.
I just... couldn't help myself."
"You couldn't help yourself?" James said angrily. "COULDN'T HELP YOURSELF? GET
SOME SELF-CONTROL YOU BASTARD!"
"I said I was sorry! What else can I do? I thought you said you understood?"
"That was me being an idiot. I don't understand any more! You know how much
Remus adores you! If you really wanted to kiss your brother, then you should
have at least broken up with Remus first, so he wouldn't walk in on the two of
you and feel his heart break! Well guess what? That's what happened, and he's
such a mess now! You've ruined him! You should see him Sirius! You should
honestly feel so ashamed of yourself!"
"I do feel ashamed of myself James! But there's no way I can fix it now – the
damage is done."
"You know what, Sirius? Just fuck off. We don't need you in our lives," said
James coldly, walking away.
"Please, James! I don't want to lose you too!"
"I said fuck off."
"Fine," Sirius said quietly. "I guess I deserve it."
James ignored him.
"AT LEAST I CAN GET THE PEOPLE I WANT! I DON'T SPEND MY WHOLE LIFE CHASING
AFTER THEM!"
James flinched, but continued walking.
"AND AT LEAST THEY ACTUALLY LOVE ME BACK! UNLIKE YOU! WHO'D LOVE YOU ANYWAY?
YOU'RE ARROGANT AND MEAN AND A BULLY. LILY WILL NEVER WANT YOU. I MEAN
IT. NEVER!"
James turned around and lunged at Sirius knocking them both to the floor. James
punched Sirius hard in the face, making his nose bleed, while Sirius punched
every part of James he could reach. The fight was causing a crowd to surround
them, but they didn't stop. Finally, Peter arrived and pulled the two of them
apart.
"What's going on?" he asked, looking at both of them, who were glaring at each
other. Both boys were covered in cuts and bruises, and they had their fists
clenched. James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Sirius.
"FLIPENDO!" he screamed, making Sirius fly backwards into a crowd of people
watching. He got to his feet quickly, and pulled his own wand out.
"FURNUNCULUS!" James' face immediately broke out in huge, pus-filled boils.
Many people in the crowd laughed at this, but Sirius couldn't bring himself to
even smile. He was angry, furious. He wasn't even sure why he was so angry.
After all, it was all his own fault.
"INCARCEROUS" cried James, and Sirius quickly pointed his wand back at James
before the spell took effect.
"PROTEGO!" he shouted, and James was wrapped up in ropes, falling to the
ground. Sirius didn't bother saying another word to him. He walked back up
towards the castle, not forgetting to kick James on the way. He felt a tap on
his shoulder and turned around angrily.
"That was wonderful, Black," said Lily excitedly. "Well done."
"Go away Evans. I'm not in a great mood," Sirius muttered, pushing her away.
"How rude!" she yelled at him, but he ignored her as he made his way through
the doors.
===============================================================================
He knew he would get in trouble, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He'd
got himself into a huge mess and he wasn't sure how he was going to fix it. He
could feel a prickling feeling in his eyes, and he knew they were tears.
He'd lost his best friend and his boyfriend (who was also a best friend). He
wasn't sure how to deal with the loss. Remus and James had always been there
for him, and now they were gone. After today, neither of them would want to
talk to him again, and he couldn't blame them. He had been stupid, and cruel.
He knew that under everything he'd tried so hard to make, he was really still a
Black at heart. It killed him to admit it, but he was certain it was true.
He wasn't aware of where his feet were taking him, and his vision was blurred
by the tears in his eyes. He continued walking until he walked straight into
someone. He was about to back away, but instead, he was engulfed in a heartfelt
embrace, and he knew at once that it was Regulus. He sighed and let himself be
comforted, as that was all he really needed at that moment. Regulus was the
only person who was there for him (except for Peter, who'd probably side with
James as soon as he learnt what happened). He felt himself calm down as Regulus
rubbed up and down his back soothingly.
"What's wrong?" he asked after a while.
"Nothing."
"There's obviously something wrong," he said, pulling back and looking Sirius
in the eyes.
"It's just... I've made a big mess," Sirius said, sniffing.
"It's to do with what happened between us last night, isn't it?" asked Regulus,
biting his lip guiltily. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to cause any
trouble."
"It's not your fault. It's mine. I was an idiot. You didn't know."
"Didn't know what?" asked Regulus.
"I had a boyfriend," Sirius admitted sadly. Regulus frowned.
"You cheated on him, then."
"Yeah," said Sirius. "I feel so terrible, but Reg... I really meant what I told
you last night."
"You did?" Regulus asked, with a small smile on his face. Sirius nodded. "I
meant what I said too."
"Thank Merlin for that! I was worrying that it wasn't true, and that I'd lost
everyone."
"Lost everyone? Who else did you lose?" Regulus asked, concerned.
"Well I obviously lost Remus... he was my boyfriend, and well... you saw... he
kind of walked in on us last night. Then, I lost James, who was mad at me for
doing what I did."
"I'm sorry you had to lose them," said Regulus sympathetically.
"It's OK. You're worth it, really," Sirius replied, grinning at his brother. "I
want you. Only you."
"Really?"
"Of course," Sirius said. He looked around quickly before planting a quick kiss
on Regulus' lips. Regulus smiled and blushed, grabbing hold of Sirius' hand and
lacing their fingers together.
"Does this make me your boyfriend?" Regulus asked excitedly. Sirius thought for
a moment.
"Yes, it does," he smiled back at Regulus, who beamed at him.
"Nobody can know though," Regulus said quietly. "We'd be in so much trouble."
"Yeah, I know. Well, it isn't exactly unusual for our family, is it?"
"What do you mean?" asked Regulus.
"The whole family's incestuous," Sirius winked. "Just not this incestuous. I
still reckon mum and dad would kill us if they found out."
"Obviously. It means that nobody will carry on the Black line," said Regulus,
and Sirius thought about it.
There was Andromeda, who was married to Ted Tonks. Their baby, Nymphadora, had
the surname of Tonks, which broke off the Black line there. Then, there was
Narcissa, who would probably marry and change her name, and Bellatrix, who was
already married to Rodolphus Lestrange. Then, there was only himself and
Regulus left, and if the two of them stayed together, that meant they'd be the
last people in the Black family. Sirius grinned at the thought. He'd end the
most pureblood family in Britain. It was a beautiful thought.
"Reg, I don't feel like staying in this corridor... how about we venture to the
Room of Requirement? We could have a little fun in there, I think," Sirius
winked, and Regulus looked confused.
"What's the Room of Requirement?" he asked. Sirius gaped at him.
"Only the greatest room in the entire school... maybe even the entire world!"
Sirius said, grabbing Regulus and pulling him through a tapestry to their
right. He led Regulus up a few flights of stairs and through more tapestries
until they finally reached a blank stretch of wall.
"How did you know all of those shortcuts?" Regulus asked him.
"Secrets," said Sirius mysteriously, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he
smiled at Regulus' face. The door had appeared and Regulus looked completely
awestruck. Sirius opened the door, and Regulus' face lit up more.
"Wow," he breathed as he took in the room. It was huge, filled with lots of
things suitable for a steamy night. Sirius felt excited just looking at the
items in the room, and the huge, king-sized, four-poster bed in the middle of
the room made his mouth water. He looked at his brother – no, boyfriend, and
licked his lips.
"How's this?" he asked. Regulus shook his head disbelievingly.
"Since when has a room like this been in a school?" Regulus asked.
"Since I required it. See, this room appears only when someone requires to use
it. It can be used for anything, and I think you can see what's been on my
mind."
"I can definitely see what's been on your mind," Regulus said, taking a step
into the room. Sirius grabbed his arm, and pulled him back.
"Wait a minute, we're not doing anything right now," Sirius said.
"Aww why not?" whined Regulus. "That's not fair! You can't just bring me up
here and then send me away again."
"It's the middle of the day," laughed Sirius. "Let's not be too eager. Plus,
it'll be much more fun tonight."
"Tonight?" Regulus asked, and Sirius could almost hear the lust in his voice.
"Meet me here, straight after dinner. My room-mates won't be missing me
tonight."
"Ok, straight after dinner," Regulus grinned. "I can't wait."
"Neither can I," said Sirius, as Regulus, pulled him in for a light kiss and
walked down the corridor to join his friends, wherever they may be.
===============================================================================
Sirius felt a lot happier now that he'd arranged a hot, steamy night with
Regulus, so as he made his way towards the Gryffindor common room, he didn't
expect to see Professor McGonagall and James Potter standing by the portrait
hole, both with an angry glare in their eyes. Sirius sighed, and headed for his
deathbed.
***** Love To Hate *****
Chapter by Obsession137
Sirius was sentenced to a week worth of detentions for his fight with James,
and what made it worse was the fact that he had to spend these
detentions with James, who was also being punished for being involved. Another
thing that made the detention worse than ever was that he was having it
straight after dinner. He'd already decided that he'd skip tonight's detention,
seeing as he already had plans.
When Professor McGonagall had told James and Sirius what their punishment was,
James had stalked off in the other direction, leaving Sirius by himself. He'd
entered the common room and went straight up to his room after enduring a
minute of people staring at him.
He'd been there ever since, lying on his bed, trying to forget everything that
had happened with James and Remus and trying to focus more on his night with
Regulus. He was slowly drifting off to sleep when the door opened and someone
came into the room. Sirius wasn't sure if he wanted to know who it was, but he
opened his eyes anyway to see someone sitting on the bed opposite him.
Sirius gulped and sat up in his bed. Remus looked a mess; his eyes were red and
bloodshot, and he looked as if he'd been attacked by the Whomping Willow. He
wasn't looking at Sirius, but he was reading a book that was resting on his
legs. Sirius sighed and cleared his throat. Remus flinched, but didn't look up.
"...Hi," Sirius tried pathetically. There was no answer. Sirius tried again.
"Look Remus, I know you're mad but please, can I speak to you?"
Remus looked up from his book for a second. The look in his eyes almost killed
Sirius – a look of pure anger, hurt, hatred, betrayal. However, Remus didn't
speak. He grabbed the curtains on his bed and pulled them together quickly, so
that Sirius could no longer see him.
"I'm sorry Remus," said Sirius in a small whisper.
There was no answer, just the sound of Remus turning the page to his book.
"Please forgive me!"
No answer.
"I was an idiot."
No answer.
"Please just STOP ignoring me!" shouted Sirius, tears in his eyes. Once again,
there was no answer. Sirius couldn't take it anymore. He got up and marched
over to Remus' bed, wrenching the curtains open with force. Remus slammed his
book shut and took in a deep breath.
"Rem? I said it before, and I'll say it again. I am truly sorry," Sirius said.
"Could we just, you know... be friends?"
Remus laughed. "Friends?" he asked incredulously.
"Well, why not?" asked Sirius, a little bit happier that now Remus was talking
to him.
"Why would you think," Remus said in a harsh tone. "That I would want to be
your friend?"
"I can understand why you wouldn't. I know I was the biggest prick in the
world, and I know I don't deserve to have you as a friend, but please. We were
friends before we got together, and if we'd been just friends when I did what I
did, then you wouldn't have been angry."
"True. But, you know what, Sirius? We were together when you did what you did,
so I am angry. I'm lost, I'm empty, I'm stressed, I'm hurt, I feel like crap!
You lied to me, you betrayed me... Itrusted you! How could you do that to me?"
"I swear I didn't do it to hurt you," Sirius said desperately. "I promise you,
I didn't want to ever hurt you."
"Why should I believe your promises? I can't trust you. For all I know, maybe
you did want to hurt me. There's no telling with you. I just don't know! I
don't even know why I'm talking to you right now, because at the moment I feel
like hurting you. I want to hurt you as badly as you hurt me! I want you to
feel it! Maybe then that'll make you realise how much things really do hurt,
and then you'll think twice before cheating on someone in the future!"
"I don't know what to say," mumbled Sirius.
"Good," Remus said, pushing past Sirius and heading for the door.
"Wait!" shouted Sirius, running to stand in front of the door, blocking Remus'
way. Remus gritted his teeth.
"Move."
"No, I'm not moving until we work this out," Sirius said.
"Sirius. I mean it. Move, right now."
"I'm not moving!" shouted Sirius. Remus closed his eyes in frustration and then
grabbed Sirius by the arm and attempted to pull him away from the door.
"For god's sake! Move!" he shouted when Sirius wouldn't budge. "I want to leave
this room because I can't stand it being in here with you anymore. Get out of
my way!"
"I already told you," Sirius said calmly. "I will not move, until we fix it."
"Sirius?" Remus said angrily.
"Yes?"
"If you don't move away from the door right now, I swear I'll never speak to
you again."
Sirius didn't move. He stood, rooted on the spot. Remus looked at him with
tears in his eyes, and Sirius saw Remus' shoulders sag as he turned around and
headed back to his bed without saying a word. Sirius watched as he slid under
the covers, turning to face the wall.
"Remus?" he asked tentatively. "I... I really don't want our relationship to be
like this. I just... I think we should at least remain friends."
Remus was obviously choosing to ignore him again, as no sound came out of his
mouth.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't let you leave, but I just think we should fix this
sooner than later!" Sirius said.
No answer.
"REMUS!" yelled Sirius, losing his temper. He stepped towards Remus' bed and
nudged him hard. "Would you at least listen to me?"
"I am listening to you," Remus said, sitting up.
"You are?" asked Sirius hopefully.
"What other choice do I have? You won't let me leave, and every single time I
ignore you, you come right up in my face and make me talk to you!"
"Sorry about that," said Sirius.
"You have so many things to be sorry about! You're so frustrating! I thought
you were something special! I thought I was the luckiest person in the world,
but I was wrong. I feel luckier now that I'm rid of you," Remus spat, standing
up and heading back to the door.
The words cut through Sirius like a knife, leaving him feeling more wounded
than ever.
"You don't mean that," he said. Remus turned around and smiled maliciously.
"See what it feels like? It actually hurts, doesn't it? Imagine having to go
through that pain, but a hundred times worse? What would that feel like?"
"I told you this before! I didn't want to hurt you!"
"But you knew that if I ever found out, I'd be devastated," said Remus. "If you
didn't want to hurt me, then why did you do it in the first place?"
"That was the only time I did it," lied Sirius. "Just once, and it was an
accident. I bumped my head, remember? I wasn't thinking clearly! Please,
just... at least give me a chance to prove to you that we can still be
friends."
Remus didn't reply immediately. He stared at Sirius for a second in disbelief.
"You are such a liar!" he shouted.
"I'm not lying!"
"I know you're lying! Here's a little tip, if you intend to lie to people, make
sure tell everyone the same story!"
"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked.
"James told me you'd done it three times. And you told him that before I caught
you last night... so you've cheated on me four times. That's not something I
can just get over Sirius, and now you've lied to me about it. You're really not
doing yourself any favours here."
"You know what?"
"What?" Remus said angrily.
"I don't know why I bother with you. Honestly. I've tried to make amends but
you just won't allow me to make it up to you."
"Ok," Remus said. "I'm glad you've given up."
"I haven't given up. I'll never give up, but I just... I don't... ah, Rem...
when have you ever seen me like this? Doesn't this show you how much I care?"
"You don't care! I know why you're doing it. You don't have any friends. Pete's
heard what happened too, you know? He doesn't want to speak to you.
James definitely doesn't want to speak to you, and I think you know I don't
want to talk to you. You only want me to forgive you so you have a friend. Am I
right?"
"No, you're not right."
"And I honestly hope that Regulus realises what a bastard you are," Remus
continued. "I hope you lose him too. "
"How dare you?"
"Oh, so it wasn't just one time. It wasn't just something you did because you
bumped your head. You really care about him, do you?"
"You know what? Fine, I admit. I do care about him. I love him," Sirius said.
He saw the sadness in Remus' eyes, but continued anyway. "It's true. I kissed
him at home and I felt so bad about it because I was with you and I cared about
you too. I tried my hardest to forget what happened, but when we got back to
school, I bumped into him and it happened again. That was the night you told me
you loved me, and you don't know how guilty I was. I was so mad with myself,
and I promised myself that I wouldn't do it again. Obviously, you know me – I'm
an idiot. I kissed him again after Quidditch and I loved it. I just couldn't
help it... I never wanted it to hurt you, and I know it did, but I didn't mean
to, and I'm sorry. And then you saw what happened last night. It was when I
realised my feelings for him, and I found out he felt the same way. I couldn't
help being happy about it, but obviously there was a choice to make. You or
Regulus? I'll be truthful with you Remus... I love him more than I ever loved
you, and I don't mean it in a horrible way... I just mean it because that was
how I had to make my choice. I just hoped that you would forgive me and we
could be friends. Saying out loud now, I realise that I made a huge mistake,
and I was horrible, and it's a lot to ask for."
Remus took a while to answer; he seemed to be thinking about what Sirius had
said. He sighed.
"It is a lot to ask for," he said.
"Yes, and I'll understand if you hate me after all of that, but I'm just hoping
that you have enough goodness in your heart to forgive me."
"You're right, Sirius. I hate you. I really really hate you," Remus said
emotionlessly, pushing past Sirius and leaving the room.
Sirius dropped down on Remus' bed, trying to hold back the tears that were
beginning to form. He tried not to get upset over it – he'd been expecting it
to happen.
He knew now that Remus was right. He had no friends left. All he had was
Regulus. He needed Regulus, otherwise he'd be alone.
Remus had completely ruined his mood and he suddenly wasn't so excited to meet
up with Regulus tonight. He knew of course, that it would change as soon as he
saw Regulus, and that was one of the reasons he knew he was in love with him.
Every single time he saw his boyfriend, everything in the world – all of his
problems – seemed to dissolve away. It was like Regulus was a cure to anything
bad that had happened to him, and Sirius smiled. He was glad that he at least
had someone in his life that cared about him, and that Regulus would be there
forever because they were related. No matter what happened, Regulus would be in
his life one way or another, and that was all he needed to think about at the
moment to stop himself from breaking down and losing it completely.
***** The Room of Requirement *****
Chapter by Obsession137
Chapter Notes
     Warning: Sexual Content
Dinner came and went. Sirius didn't pay much attention to what he was eating,
and he made no attempt to speak to Peter, Remus or James. They made no attempt
to speak to him in return. Sirius could still hear Remus' harsh words in his
head, replaying over and over again, giving him a horrendous head-ache.
'You're right, Sirius. I hate you.'
So Remus hated him? How could that be – if, only last night he'd said he loved
him!
'I hate you'
The same words kept ringing through his ears... again, again again.
'I feel luckier now I'm rid of you'
Was it true? Sirius wasn't sure, but he couldn't help believe it. Remus' words
had sounded truthful, and that is what hurt Sirius the most. There were no
joking tones, or hesitant words.
'I can't stand it being in here with you'
Sirius gave a low grunt and stood up abruptly from the table meeting Peters
eyes. He looked... pitiful... a little sympathetic – Sirius was thankful that
at least someone was seeing his side of things clearly. Remus had been lying;
Peter did want to speak to him... on some level. Giving Peter a grim smile, he
left the table and headed towards the doors.
===============================================================================
After the argument with Remus, Sirius had completely forgotten what was planned
for tonight until he spotted Regulus standing against the stone wall on the
opposite side of the corridor leading off the great hall. He had his arms
folded and a smirk on his face.
Sirius' heart gave a little involuntary flutter of excitement as he took in a
deep breath and stepped towards Regulus slowly.
"Hey," he said shyly, grinning at his brother.
"Well hello," Regulus replied, running his hand up Sirius' arm, making a blush
creep onto Sirius' face. Regulus gazed up at him lustfully. "Come to take me up
to bed?" he asked.
"Bed sounds very intriguing right now," Sirius bit his lip, trying hard not to
grin again. "As long as we don't sleep."
"Sleep!" exclaimed Regulus. "Why would we want to sleep when there are so many
exciting activities to try out?"
Regulus gave a wink that let the butterflies into Sirius' stomach. Sirius
leaned down so that his mouth was by Regulus' ear.
"Let's go, babe," he whispered, grabbing Regulus and pulling him away from the
wall.
===============================================================================
The journey up to the Room of Requirement wasn't too memorable for Sirius as
all he could think about was the pleasant fluttering of butterflies in his
stomach. He couldn't help smiling when he looked into the face of his brother,
who was wearing a matching smile. Sirius hoped that it meant he was also
experiencing the butterflies.
When the door appeared, Sirius stood rooted on the spot, staring into the
luxurious room. Dark red light filled the room, creating the illusion of love
and romance, but the bed told otherwise. The ebony wood of the four-poster bed
mixed with the silky red sheets suggested more sensual purposes – purposes that
Sirius was more inclined to act on.
Regulus let go of his hand and stepped in, staring around at the room in awe.
He then turned to face Sirius and sat down on the edge of the bed, patting the
spot next to him with a small smile on his face. Gulping, Sirius stepped into
the room and closed the door. He sat down on the bed next to his boyfriend and
stared into his chocolate brown eyes. Not being able to help himself, he spoke.
"Your eyes," he breathed quietly. "They're gorgeous."
"You think so?"
"I can't stop... looking into them."
Regulus laughed. "I love your eyes too."
"Thanks," Sirius said. "I... erm... I haven't done anything like this before."
"Neither have I," admitted Regulus, wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck and
staring up at him. "Should we just... experiment?"
"Experiment? Sounds exciting to me," Sirius grinned, leaning down and kissing
Regulus softly on the lips. His arms moved slowly down his brothers back, down
to his waist, where he rested his hands. He pulled his boyfriend closer as he
deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide over Regulus' lips.
A soft moan emitted from Regulus' mouth as he allowed Sirius' tongue entrance,
parting his lips slightly.
He massaged Regulus' tongue with his own, pulling his body even closer so that
they were pressed tightly together; entwined. Sirius felt Regulus' fingers
running through his hair. He sucked on his brothers bottom lip, and Regulus
tugged at Sirius' hair as he threw his head back.
Sirius took this as a chance and leaned forwards carefully, leaving a small
trail of kisses down Regulus' neck. The younger boy gasped at each kiss,
gripping on to Sirius tighter.
The small sounds coming from Regulus' mouth made Sirius' mouth water. He pulled
away, leaving his brother breathless. He let himself fall back on the bed, so
that his head was resting on the pillow.
"Come and get me," he said seductively. Regulus didn't need telling twice –
within two seconds of Sirius' words, he was already straddling him with a grin
plastered on his face.
"I've got you," he replied, leaning down and planting a kiss on Sirius' lips.
"I've got you under my spell."
"Ooh, I like the sound of that!" Sirius said excitedly, grabbing Regulus' waist
and pulling him down on top of him.
The sudden contact of the boys' erections made them both gasp, but neither of
them moved. They stayed in the same position for a moment, just speaking
through unspoken words; searching each others eyes.
Regulus traced his hand up his brothers body – up to his chest, where he rested
it, still gazing into Sirius' cloudy grey eyes.
Sirius could tell his heart was beating incredibly fast and hard; especially
now that Regulus had his hand rested right over it. He knew that his brother
could feel his rapid heartbeat, and he smiled when he realised the look in
Regulus' eyes; a look of pure love. The way he looked at Regulus, and the way
Remus used to look at him.
"Your heart," Regulus said simply, not looking away from Sirius.
"It's beating like that for you," Sirius said, lifting his own hand and resting
it on Regulus' heart. He was delighted to find that his boyfriend's heartbeat
was as rapid as his own.
"I love you," said Regulus. Before Sirius could answer, Regulus laughed. "I
felt your heart beat faster when I said that."
"You did?"
"Yeah."
"It's because I love you too," replied Sirius, pulling Regulus down for another
kiss.
"Mmm... take your clothes off," Regulus said, biting his lip and leaning back
to observe Sirius.
"Take yours off," said Sirius with a smirk. Regulus hesitated, and then slid
his hand down Sirius' side, grabbing at the corner of his shirt, and lifting it
up.
The naked flesh of Sirius' torso made Regulus' eyes glaze over, and he
immediately began pulling the shirt harder, lifting it over his head and
staring, open-mouthed at the boy underneath him.
"Wow," he said breathlessly. He ran his fingers down the toned muscles of
Sirius' chest and stomach, and Sirius couldn't help but getting more and more
aroused by the whole situation. Regulus was touching him – he
was actually touching him.
"Reg," Sirius said.
"Mm?"
"Once we do this, there's no turning back."
Regulus sighed, and nodded, still massaging Sirius' muscles in a way that made
his skin tingle extraordinarily. Not taking his eyes off Sirius, Regulus leaned
in for a kiss, while his hands worked on undoing Sirius' belt.
Sirius felt as his brother unzipped his trousers, and he had to to restrain
himself from ripping off Regulus' clothes and ravishing him completely. His
erection was throbbing painfully, and he wasn't sure how much more he could
take. As Regulus pulled his trousers off, Sirius made up his mind –
he needed this. Right now.
He grabbed at Regulus' clothes and tore them off him savagely, revealing the
very sight Sirius was so longing to see. Sirius couldn't deny it; his brothers
body was perfect – stunning. He was paralysed by the mere sight of it, and the
thought of that body doing erotic things to him almost sent him over the edge.
Regulus teasingly played with the elastic of Sirius' boxers, and Sirius
couldn't stand it any longer. He grabbed at his brothers hand and slipped it
under the elastic.
Sirius let out a sigh of relief as he felt the other boy's fingers brush his
erection. He struggled with words...
"Mm... again Reg.. ah." A low moan escaped his mouth as his brother began
rubbing his hand up and down his length slowly, rhythmically.
Sirius wasn't even sure that it was supposed to be like this, but he wasn't
complaining. The sensation was wonderful. He reached up to run his fingers
through Regulus' hair, as his brother continued playing with his cock
menacingly.
"Feels so good!" Sirius gasped as Regulus moved his thumb over the slit.
"You like that, do you?" whispered Regulus. "How about this?"
He lowered himself so that his face was only inches away from Sirius' erection,
and without hesitation, Sirius thrust forward.
Regulus opened his mouth and ran his tongue over the head of Sirius' cock,
before taking him in his mouth fully. Sirius couldn't hold back the gasps and
moans. He'd never felt anything like it before.
He looked down at his brother, who – Sirius realised – looked incredibly sexy.
His hair was rough and messy, and his expression was filled with lust. Regulus
peered up through his dark lashes into Sirius' eyes – he appeared to be
enjoying it as much as Sirius was. He leaned forward, rubbing his own erection
against Sirius', and let out a loud groan of pleasure.
"Reg... I.. oh.. going to... mm..."
"Not yet," whispered Regulus seductively. "Not now."
Sirius growled and flipped his brother over so that he was now on top of
Regulus.
"Your turn," he grinned and kissed his way down Regulus' body, sucking and
biting at the sensitive skin, enthralled to hear the sexy sounds coming from
Regulus' mouth at every small touch.
Sirius didn't stop as he reached Regulus' cock – he kept kissing as the moans
got louder and more urgent.
"Stop it," groaned Regulus. "Just... just do it... oh!"
Sirius closed his mouth over his brothers member and started moving alongside
Regulus' thrusts. Sirius' hands roamed over the other boys torso; his breathing
was growing quicker and quicker, and he was struggling to keep his thrusts
constant.
Sirius lifted his head and looked up at his brother, winking, and pulling him
into a desperate kiss. Both boys were on the edge, ready to fall over, and the
kiss grew more and more frantic. Regulus thrust down hard on Sirius' crotch,
sending him over the edge.
"Fuck," Regulus breathed as he came all over Sirius' stomach. Sirius was pushed
over the edge by the mere sight of his brothers orgasm, and he let out a scream
of ecstasy as he, himself, reached orgasm.
The two stayed there, breathing hard. Both were flushed, and finally, Sirius'
arms gave way and he collapsed on top of Regulus.
They were a sweaty, sticky mess, but Sirius didn't care. It had been absolutely
wonderful.
"Scourgify," Regulus muttered, and the bed was clean again.
"Reg... it was amazing," said Sirius, rolling over so that he was lying next to
his brother. Regulus snuggled closer.
"I know," he mumbled, leaning up to kiss Sirius.
"Love you," Sirius whispered, wrapping his arms around Regulus, who placed a
hand on Sirius' cheek.
"I love you too," he replied.
They fell asleep like that; holding each other close. Sirius couldn't remember
a time he'd been happier, and he just never wanted to wake up.
***** Loneliness *****
Chapter by Obsession137
Sirius awoke the next morning to find Regulus' arms wrapped around him, and his
face pressed against Sirius' chest. He could feel the slow breathing of his
boyfriend, and he smiled to himself as he sifted his fingers through Regulus'
soft hair. The previous night had been absolutely wonderful, and he couldn't
help but feel like the luckiest person in the world. As he looked down at
Regulus' sleeping form, he grinned and kissed the top of his head.
After a while, Regulus started stirring, and Sirius held on to him tighter.
"Mmm... Sirius?"
"Yeah?" whispered Sirius, peering down into Regulus' eyes.
"Hi," Regulus replied with a shy smile. Sirius leaned down and gave him a quick
kiss on the lips.
"Morning," he said. Regulus slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"Wow," he said, looking down at Sirius. "Last night..."
"I know," grinned Sirius.
"It was perfect," Regulus said. "Amazing."
"Just like you," said Sirius, winking and sitting up to pull Regulus in for yet
another kiss. This one lasted a little longer, and it was extremely hard for
Sirius to stop.
Regulus laughed. "Thanks. Hey, do you know what the time is?"
"Umm... no idea," Sirius said. "Why?"
"We have lessons today," Regulus groaned. "And people were probably wondering
why we weren't in our dorms last night."
"Pfft," Sirius said. "My room-mates wouldn't notice."
"Are they still not talking to you?" asked Regulus.
Sirius shook his head sadly. "I wish I could fix it."
"I'm sure they'll start speaking to you soon," Regulus said with a small smile.
"What if they don't?"
"They will," reassured Regulus. "But, if not, then you always have me."
"You have your own friends," mumbled Sirius.
"I'll always have time for you," said Regulus.
"Really?"
"Of course," he grinned, planting a kiss on Sirius' lips and jumping out of
bed. "Now, we should get ready for lessons.
"Oh no!" Sirius grumbled, falling back onto his pillow.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm going to be in so much trouble with McGonagall," he groaned. "Missed my
detention."
"Oh," Regulus said. "When was it?"
"Last night," said Sirius. "But I'd already made plans with you. I didn't
want her to ruin my night."
"We should have just rescheduled," Regulus said. "But I'm not complaining," he
added. "It was the best night of my life."
"It was?"
"Yep."
"It was the best night of my life, too," said Sirius.
"""""""""""""""
"Where were you?" snapped James, as Sirius sat down at the breakfast table.
Sirius glared at him.
"Why should I tell you?"
"McGonagall wants to know," said James.
"Well you can tell McGonagall that-"
"- That?" said an angry voice from above him. He looked up into the face of
Professor McGonagall, who didn't look very impressed. "What can he tell me?"
she asked.
"That I completely forgot to go to the detention last night, and I'm terribly
sorry," he said, giving her an innocent smile.
"And where were you last night, when you should've been in your dormitory?"
Professor McGonagall asked sternly.
"In the prefects bathrooms," Sirius lied. "My friends and I had a fallout, and
I didn't want to sleep in their room, so I slept in the bathroom instead."
"And how do you know how to get into that bathroom? You aren't a prefect."
"Remus told me," he said quickly, giving Remus an apologetic glance.
"And why would you tell him, Mr Lupin?" McGonagall asked, rounding on Remus.
"I'm sorry, Professor," Remus said quietly. "I didn't know he'd try and sneak
in there."
"Twenty points from Gryffindor each," she answered, looking between them
angrily. "And Mr Black, you will have an extra long detention tonight."
"Yes, Professor," Sirius mumbled, as she walked towards the staff table. James,
Remus and Peter were silent, and Sirius decided to focus on something else to
ease the tension. He began waffling down his breakfast, hoping he could get out
before the situation got any more awkward. After a while, Peter and James stood
up and left, leaving Sirius and Remus alone in silence.
"Where were you?" Remus asked suddenly, making Sirius look up.
"I already told you!" replied Sirius angrily. "In the prefects bathroom!"
"Yeah. Right," said Remus coldly. "Were you with Regulus?" he asked sadly.
Sirius decided he'd better be truthful if he ever wanted Remus back as a
friend.
"Yeah," he replied. "I was."
"Oh," said Remus, looking down at his hands. "Did you have fun?"
"Yeah, it was great," said Sirius. He noted that Remus looked close to tears.
Biting his lip, he spoke. "I'm sorry, Rem. I'm trying to be truthful with you,
but I can see that it's upsetting you."
"I'm not upset!" Remus snapped. His eyes were filled with tears, and Sirius
wasn't sure what to do.
"Oh... OK... umm... sorry," he said awkwardly. A few minutes went by, and
neither of them spoke. Finally, the silence was broken again by Remus.
"What did you do?" he asked. "With Regulus?"
"It's-" Sirius sighed. "-I don't really want to tell anyone."
"Why?"
"It's private," said Sirius.
"Of course," Remus replied, nodding, and looking away.
"Did you mean what you said?" Sirius blurted out. "When you said you hate me?"
"I..." Remus looked torn. "No," he said quietly. "I didn't mean it. I was
angry."
Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness for that," he said.
"Did you ever love me?" Remus asked in barely a whisper. Sirius gulped.
"I thought I did," he replied. "I honestly thought I did."
"But you didn't?" Remus said, his voice breaking. "You never loved me?"
"No," said Sirius. "I never loved you," his voice sounded cold – not how he
intended it to sound.
"I thought you did," said Remus.
"I'm sorry," Sirius answered, trying not to cry, himself. Remus wiped away a
tear, and stood up abruptly.
"I love you," he said. "And I always will. Just... think about what you've
done. Maybe you'll regret it..."
With that, he walked off, leaving Sirius speechless.
He could honestly say, he felt like a complete monster. Though he
absolutely loved Regulus, it didn't stop him from feeling extremely upset when
Remus said these things to him. He hated breaking Remus' heart, and he knew
that every time Remus saw him, he was breaking it a little bit more.
Sirius thought of what it would feel like if Regulus cheated on him. He wasn't
sure if he'd be able to stand it – it would be terrible. Pity washed through
him as he thought of poor Remus, who had to go through that pain, of watching
the person you love, fall in love with someone else.
But Sirius didn't regret it. Being with Regulus was the most amazing feeling he
could ask for, and if that meant hurting people along the way, then so be it.
Regulus was perfect for him in every way, and the feelings were reciprocated.
With Remus, it had been one-sided love, but with Regulus, it was returned. That
was all Sirius could ask for.
"""""""""""""""
The day went by slowly, and every single lesson, Sirius attempted to catch
James' eye, but failed miserably every time. After the sixth attempt in
potions, James sighed and turned around angrily.
"WHAT do you want?" he said through gritted teeth.
"Uh.. nothing," Sirius said sheepishly.
"Stop watching me! It's bloody creepy," James said, turning around.
"""""""""""""""
After that, James and Sirius never talked again. It had been an entire month
and a half, and neither of them had even looked at each other – not even at
Quidditch practice. Peter sometimes mumbled 'hello' and 'goodbye' to Sirius,
but that was the longest conversation the two would share, and Remus was
another matter altogether.
Sirius tried to make amends with him – tried to get him to see that they could
only be friends, but Remus just wouldn't listen. It seemed that their
conversation at breakfast had just been a one-off, and Remus had no more plans
to speak to Sirius.
He was beginning to feel lonely. He occasionally hung around with Frank and
Alice, but all they did was kiss. Other times, Lily would tag along with them
and make snide remarks about Sirius, which he couldn't be bothered to endure,
so he'd drift away.
Then, the only other person he had was Regulus, who was great. Sirius
didn't dare go and speak to Regulus when he was with his Slytherin friends, and
that was most of the time. It was very difficult to get his boyfriend alone,
and when he did, it was for a limited period of time.
As Christmas drew nearer, for the first time in his life, Sirius was eager to
get home. That way, he'd be with Regulus 24:7, and there would be no annoying
Slytherin's to get in their way. There would be a huge double bed, and locks on
the doors...
For once, 12 Grimmauld Place sounded like heaven rather than hell.
Sirius found himself counting down the days till Christmas.
"""""""""""""""
At long last, the final day of term arrived, and the students were all getting
on the train. As Sirius stepped onto the train, he realised he had nobody to
sit with. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he walked on past the carriage
where Regulus was sitting with his friends, and on towards the end of the
train. He looked in one of the compartments and saw Remus, James and Peter all
talking and laughing in there, and he couldn't help missing them more than
ever. Unwillingly, he carried on walking down the train.
"Sirius!" shouted someone, making Sirius swerve around quickly. He was
surprised to see Remus standing behind him.
"Yeah?" he replied weakly.
"I just thought... well... er... I got you a present," Remus said awkwardly,
handing him a wrapped present. Sirius stared at the gift in awe, and then back
at Remus.
"This is for me?" he asked.
"Well... yeah. I thought... well... you know..."
"Thanks, Remus," said Sirius, smiling. Remus smiled back.
"It's OK," he said. "Well... umm... I hope you have a great Christmas."
"Yeah, you too," said Sirius, waving to Remus as he walked back into his
compartment. Sirius carried on walking, until he reached Lily, Alice and Frank.
Sighing, he slid open the door.
"Can I sit with you guys?" he asked.
"Of course you can," said Frank, moving over to let him sit down.
"Thanks," he mumbled. He looked down at the present Remus had given him, and
smiled. Remus had actually got him something!
Carefully, he ripped the wrapping paper, and out came a huge selection of
Honeydukes sweets. Frank, Alice and Lily stared at him in awe as he pulled the
remainder of wrapping paper off of it.
"Where did you get that?" asked Alice.
"Present," said Sirius.
"It's got everything in it!" Lily said.
"Yeah," Sirius replied.
"Who got it for you?" asked Frank, eyeing the sweets with greed.
"Remus."
"Wow," Lily said. "He must really like you to get you something that expensive!
I saw it in Honeydukes the other day, and it was the most expensive thing in
the shop!"
"Really?" asked Sirius in confusion. Why would Remus get him something so
expensive when they weren't even talking.
"Yeah!" said Frank. "I saw it too."
"That's great," Sirius said, grinning. He looked down and noticed a small note
attached to the side of the packet, and ripped it off to read it. It read:
Sirius,
I know we haven't spoken in a while, and I know I'm supposed to be angry with
you, but it's Christmas! I've given it a lot of thought, and although I'm still
extremely hurt by what you did, I'm going to forgive you. It'll be New Year,
right? We could just forgive and forget...
Maybe we could remain friends, and I can try and convince James to forgive you,
too. You seem to be pretty lonely, and I hate seeing you like that, but I guess
you got your punishment for what you did to me. I think you've suffered, and
now I'm willing to just let it go. I don't want to lose you as a friend –
losing you as a boyfriend was hard enough. I need you in my life in some way or
another.
I hope all is well, and I wish you a Happy Christmas.
Love from,
Remus
xxx
Sirius re-read the note, over and over again – excitement bubbling inside him.
Remus had forgiven him! He didn't know what to think...
He thought that Remus was being too nice to him, and that he really didn't
deserve Remus' friendship, but he was still incredibly grateful that
Remus had given him another chance. He would prove that he was an amazing
friend, and that he'd never do anything to hurt Remus again.
Alice, Lily and Frank were all giving Sirius strange looks, as he sat, staring
at the wall with a huge grin plastered on his face, but he couldn't even find
it in himself to snap at them. He was just too happy at this moment in time.
Suddenly, everything seemed as if it would be all right.
***** The Pain of Betrayal *****
Chapter by Obsession137
Chapter Notes
     Warning: Violence and child abuse
"Upstairs!"
"I'm going, I'm going," Sirius muttered, trudging slowly through the kitchen
and towards the stairs.
"You can move faster than that! Get upstairs now!"
"I'm going!"
"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! IF YOU DON'T DO AS I SAY RIGHT NOW, I'LL CALL YOUR FATHER
HOME!" screeched Walburga Black angrily, grabbing Sirius by the scruff of the
neck and dragging him upstairs. It hurt, but Sirius didn't want to protest –
she'd only be more rough with him.
"Now, you stay in your room till I call you downstairs. Do you understand me?"
she spat.
"Yes," said Sirius tonelessly.
"And if I hear any noise coming from this room... anything at all, your
father will be hearing about it."
"OK," Sirius said. She nodded her head and slammed the door shut, making the
chandelier shake. When he heard her footsteps getting fainter and fainter, he
punched the wardrobe hard. "Bitch!" he said under his breath, clenching his
teeth.
Sirius wasn't sure when he'd be let out of his room, and he really didn't care.
He didn't want to be downstairs with his mother, and he certainly didn't want
to see his father at all. The very thoughtof seeing Kreacher made Sirius want
to vomit. All he wanted was Regulus. He needed his brother with him.
Where was he?
There was a faint knock on the door. Sirius laughed. "Speak of the devil," he
said to himself. "Come in," he said more clearly. He waited while the door
opened and Regulus walked in, wearing his best robes. Sirius laughed again.
"What are you wearing?" he asked, looking Regulus up and down. Regulus didn't
look happy at all.
"Mum's making me wear them," he said, frowning and tugging at his sleeve.
"They're hideous... I know."
"Why does she want you to wear them?"
"I don't know," mumbled Regulus quietly.
"Do you know when she'll let me come downstairs?" Sirius asked, leaning back on
his bed.
"She said you can come down when we finish dinner," said Regulus.
"When you finish dinner? So, she isn't planning on feeding me then? Charming,"
said Sirius bitterly.
"Please don't talk back to her," whispered Regulus. "I don't want her to kick
you out."
"If she says something I don't like, then I will talk back!" Sirius shouted,
making Regulus jump. Sirius' eyes softened slightly and he stood up, pulling
Regulus in for a hug. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just hate it here."
"It's not that bad-"
"-Not that bad?" shouted Sirius incredulously, pulling away from his brother.
"Maybe for you it isn't that bad, but for me... I can't stand it here!"
"But maybe if you held your tongue, then mum wouldn't be so hard on you!"
Regulus said.
"Yeah right! I didn't do anything today, and the first thing she did when I
walked in was send me upstairs!"
"Maybe you looked at her funny," Regulus said, and Sirius gave a dry laugh.
"Oh! So I didn't look up to her with admiration! That's it... I get punished
because I don't treat her like royalty! She isn't royalty! I hate her! I hate
her so fucking much!" yelled Sirius, making Regulus back away towards the door.
The sound of footsteps stomping upstairs made Regulus' eyes widen and he ran
out of the room quickly, leaving Sirius to sigh and fall onto the bed.
"WHAT IS THAT RACKET?" Walburga screamed, slamming the door open and glaring at
Sirius with much dislike.
"I wasn't making any noise," said Sirius. "I was just lying here."
"I heard a sound!" she said, nostrils flaring.
"Well, you are getting a little old... you must be hearing things," Sirius
said, shrugging. He knew instantly that he'd said the wrong thing. His mother
stood very still, observing him with dark, beady eyes. Without warning, she
wrenched him up from the bed and struck him across the face hard, making him
fall back and hit his head against the chest of drawers. Putting his hand up to
his head, he stared up at her loathsomely. A satisfied smiled was etched on her
face as she spat at him. Turning on her heel, she spoke.
"You don't speak to me like that, you filthy blood-traitor! I suggest you come
downstairs this instance. Put on your best robes, and do not speak unless
spoken to, or you're looking for a couple of nights in the cellar!"
With that, she left the room, leaving Sirius on the floor shaking with fury. He
couldn't bring himself to move. He couldn't remember ever being angrier.
"You'd better be getting ready, Sirius Black!" screamed his mother from
downstairs. Unwillingly, he stood up and made his way to his wardrobe where he
picked out his most expensive (and ugly) robes, and changed into them. He
looked at himself in the mirror. He had a large bruise on the side of his face
from where his mother had struck him, and his hair was messy. He grabbed a
hairbrush and quickly brushed it, so that it looked satisfactory, and then made
his way downstairs.
The walk downstairs was longer than usual. He took one step at a time, hoping
that maybe his mother would change her mind and send him back upstairs before
he managed to get to the bottom. This didn't happen however, so when he reached
the bottom of the stairs, he sighed and walked towards the Dining Room, where
he could hear laughter.
He peered through the door and nearly walked straight back upstairs when he saw
who was in the room. His father was sitting at one end of the table, and his
mother was at the other end. Regulus was sitting next to his father, and
opposite him was Bellatrix.
Sirius gritted his teeth. He couldn't stand his cousin Bellatrix. And she was
with her new husband, Rodolphus Lestrange. Beside them was her sister,
Narcissa, and there was a spare seat next to Regulus. Across from Narcissa was
her fiance, Lucius Malfoy, and Lisa Parkinson was to his left. Bracing himself,
Sirius stepped into the room, and all heads turned to face him. When he was in
the room, he noticed that there were actually three spare seats. He stood
awkwardly in the doorway.
"Sit," said his mother, pointing to the chair beside Regulus.
"Who's the other chairs for?" he muttered to his brother.
"Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella," Regulus whispered back. "They just went down
to the cellar."
"I hear you've been talking back to your mother, boy!" said Orion Black loudly,
staring at Sirius with piercing eyes. Sirius gulped, as everybody watched him.
"N-not intentionally," he said, looking anywhere but at his father.
"Do you have anything to say?" Orion asked.
"I'm.. uh... I'm s-sorry," Sirius said. Before anything else could be said, his
Aunt and Uncle returned from the cellar, taking their seats on either side of
Walburga. They each had a couple of bottles of Fire Whiskey in their hands.
"Today," said Orion, clearing his throat. "Is a very important day. Do you know
why, Regulus?"
"N-no," Regulus said, sitting up straight in his chair.
"Why doesn't he know?" hissed Orion to his wife.
"I was going to tell him," said Walburga. "But this blood-traitor of ours has
been misbehaving all afternoon! I didn't get the time!"
"I see," said Orion, casting Sirius a nasty glare. "Very well. I shall be the
one to inform you all, then. Today, is a very important day for my son. Today
is the day that he will be engaged. Regulus, I'd like you to meet Lisa
Parkinson."
Sirius felt his heart drop. He couldn't think properly, and he wasn't sure of
what was going on. He didn't dare look at Regulus, but continued listening as
someone's chair moved.
"Hello, Regulus," said Lisa. "It's lovely to meet you."
There was a low whisper, and Regulus' chair moved as he stood up to shake her
hand.
"It's great to meet you, too," Regulus said, though he sounded ill. Regulus
quickly sat back down on his chair, and Orion cleared his throat again.
"We have arranged for your wedding to take place in February. Until then, it
would be best if you got to know each other. Lisa is in Slytherin too, Regulus.
I'm sure you'll get along very well. Now, a toast to Regulus and Lisa!" he held
his glass in the air. Everybody else at the table followed his lead – all
except Sirius. He felt Regulus nudge him in the ribs, and quickly raised his
glass.
The rest of the evening went painfully slow. Sirius tried to keep quiet, but
when people talked to him, there was no way out of answering them.
"What will you do with this Gryffindor scum?" Bellatrix asked Walburga, nodding
towards Sirius.
"I still haven't decided," Walburga answered. "I believe it's up to his
father."
"You know," said Sirius through gritted teeth. "I am still at the table. Stop
talking about me as if I'm not here."
"Sirius, don't," muttered Regulus.
"What did you say to me?" Walburga asked crossly.
"You heard what I said," said Sirius simply.
"You let him get away with this?" Bellatrix asked with a confused expression.
"Whenever Andromeda used to speak like that to mother or father, they used the
cruciatus curse."
"Always worked," said Cygnus approvingly. "Made her think twice about who she
was talking to."
"The cruciatus curse?" Orion repeated, looking from Bellatrix to Sirius. Faster
than Sirius could have imagined, Orion pulled out his wand and pointed it at
him.
"Crucio!" he screamed, making Sirius fall off his chair. The pain was unreal.
It was agonising, and it wouldn't stop. He could hear the manic laughter of
Bellatrix, and the laughter of a few other family members. All he could think
about was Regulus.
"Reg," he managed to say. "Make... him... stop..." But still, the pain
continued. Regulus wasn't doing anything. He was just sitting there, while
Sirius was being tortured. Sirius let out a scream as he felt like he would
pass out from the pain. It was all over his body, like a vicious fire, burning
away everything. With all his strength, he opened his eyes and looked up at
Regulus pleadingly. "PLEASE!" he screamed, and Regulus looked close to tears
but remained silent.
Sirius could no longer feel the pain – the only thing he could feel was
betrayal. Regulus was betraying him. He couldn't stand it. Trying not to cry,
Sirius lost everything – sight, smell, sound, feeling – everything went black.
***** Walking Away From Love *****
Chapter by Obsession137
'James,
Can you at least have the decency to answer my letters?
Sirius'
Sirius sighed deeply and gave his letter to the owl to deliver to James. He'd
already sent five messages, apologizing for everything he'd said and done, and
asking for forgiveness, but James just wasn't answering. He didn't understand.
He'd hurt Remus. Not James. Remus had already forgiven him, but James still
wasn't talking to him. Why was that? Sirius couldn't grasp why...
There was a quiet knock on the door, and Sirius sat up quickly, staring at the
door. He didn't answer, just made his way to his bed, where he curled up under
the covers. His room was freezing, but he didn't dare ask his mother to turn up
the heating. He didn't want to get anywhere near her any more. She'd seemed to
take up using the cruciatus curse as punishment too, and her favourite person
to punish was, of course, Sirius.
"Sirius?" called a voice from the other side of the door.
Sirius had heard Regulus, but he chose to ignore him. Regulus had been knocking
on his door at least five times a day, every day for the last week. Sirius
wouldn't answer. What was the point? Regulus had allowed him to be tortured. He
hadn't done anything to help. He had just stood there – looking down. Doing
nothing.
Unfortunately, ignoring him wasn't enough today as the door creaked open
slowly. Sirius groaned and pulled the duvet over his head, turning his back
towards the door. The sounds of footsteps told Sirius that his brother had
entered the room, and he felt the bed move as Regulus sat on it. Sirius shifted
over so that he was almost falling off the other side of the bed.
"Sirius?" said Regulus. Sirius didn't answer, and he heard Regulus sigh. "Can
you please talk to me?"
Again, Sirius didn't answer.
"I'm sorry," Regulus said desperately. Sirius sat up quickly, pulling the
covers off his head and letting Regulus see his tear-stained face.
"You're sorry?" Sirius asked. Biting his lip, Regulus nodded.
"I'm really sorry," he said.
"You shouldn't have to be sorry, Reg! You shouldn't have let that happen in the
first place! How could you stand there and do nothing?"
"I... I'm sorry."
"Is that the only thing you can say?"
"I didn't mean to do nothing!" shouted Regulus. "You know me! I'm not as brave
as you! I can't stand up to them all! They'd just torture me along with you!"
"And would you expect me to stand there and do nothing to help you if they
tortured you?" Sirius asked.
"No... of course not," Regulus answered, looking down. "I wanted to say
something, but I couldn't. Nothing was coming out when I tried to talk."
"Oh, right! That makes everything better!" said Sirius, glaring at his brother.
"I still can't believe you did it!"
"What else do you want me to say, Sirius?" asked Regulus. "I made a mistake! I
should've helped you... I know I should've, but I didn't. I can't change the
past."
"The point is," said Sirius. "You're my brother. You're my boyfriend. You
'supposedly' love me. I don't believe that now that you just allowed him to
torture me. You saw me – I was in so much pain. I couldn't think
about anything except how much you were betraying me. I begged you! Throughout
being TORTURED, I managed to ask you to do something. I used all my strength to
speak to you then, and I managed to do it because I love you. You did
nothing... you just stood there. How do you expect me to forgive you for that?"
"You're a nice person," Regulus said. "I just thought-"
"-You just thought I'd forgive you because I'm a 'nice person'? You make me
laugh!"
"Sirius! I was going through a lot of stress at that moment, OK? I'm getting
married! In two months! I'm not even old enough to get married, and I'm
marrying a girl I barely even know! I don't love her at all, and I have no
choice but to marry her! I wasn't thinking clearly after I had that bombshell
dropped on me!"
"Refuse," said Sirius angrily.
"I'm sorry?"
"Just refuse to marry her!"
"I... I c-can't do that! You know what Dad would do to me!"
"So what if he did that to you? It doesn't matter. I don't care. Why should I
care? I'll just stand there and watch, if you want. Even if you beg me to make
him stop. How do you feel about that, huh?"
"Sirius, it's different-"
"-How is it different?"
"Because it is! You're used to being treated like that at home!" shouted
Regulus.
"Oh, so that makes it OK then? Is that supposed to lessen the pain? So, while I
was being tortured, you thought it didn't matter because I'm used to being
treated badly? Nice, Reg..."
"I didn't mean it like that!" Regulus said, with tears rolling down his face.
"I really didn't!"
"Do you love me?" Sirius asked. "Truthfully, Reg. Do you love me?"
Regulus looked torn.
"Answer me," said Sirius, almost in tears himself.
"Yes," said Regulus finally. "I love you. But not enough to stand up for you.
I'm sorry. It's just the way I am."
"Then you obviously don't know the meaning of love, do you? If you love
someone, you'd do anything for them. You don't love me. Not at all."
"I..." Regulus sighed. "Maybe I don't love you. Look, maybe we should just...
stop."
"Stop?" asked Sirius.
"Break up," said Regulus. The words seemed to echo in Sirius' head over and
over again. He couldn't think at all.
"Huh?" he asked stupidly – his brain hadn't fully processed what Regulus had
said.
"Maybe we should break up," said Regulus bluntly. "I screwed up, I don't love
you, and it's wrong anyway. I mean, it's incest. It shouldn't have happened in
the first place. I'm getting married – it would have had to happen in the next
two months anyway."
"You're – breaking – up – with – me?"
"Yes."
"You don't want to be with me?" Sirius asked, his heart sinking lower and lower
by the second and his eyes glistening with tears.
"No, I don't. I think it was stupid. Yeah, it was fun – that was all it was."
"You – you didn't feel anything?" asked Sirius.
"Of course I did! It might have just been because you were my first."
"So... it was just a bit of fun?"
"Yeah," Regulus said. "I'm sorry."
"You're a fucking bastard, you know that?" screamed Sirius, shoving Regulus off
the bed, making a thump on the floor.
"Sirius!" he gasped.
"NO! Don't you speak to me! You ruined my life! I can't believe you – you did
that to me! You made me fall in love with you! You made my friends hate me! You
made me cheat on my boyfriend, and you made me break my best friend's heart!
You've put me and my friends through so much pain! But you're not feeling any
pain, are you? You just think it's all a bit of fun?"
"I-"
"-I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPEAK TO ME! I CAN'T EVEN STAND LOOKING AT YOU AT THE
MOMENT!" yelled Sirius, pacing back and forward. "I'll give you pain!"
Thinking angrily about everything Regulus had done, Sirius put all his strength
into the kick he aimed at his brother, making him scream out in pain. He
grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him up, pushing him back against the
wardrobe hard.
"HOW COULD YOU?" he said, looking into Regulus' eyes. Then, before Regulus
could answer, Sirius lifted his fist into the air and punched him hard in the
face. Feeling excited about the pain he was inflicting on his brother, he
punched him again... and again. Regulus was now sporting a bloody nose and a
bruised face, and he was crying. He reached out and pushed Sirius forward,
knocking him on the floor. He reached for his wand and pointed it at Sirius.
Trembling, he opened his mouth.
"C-c-crucio!" he said. Sirius' eyes widened, but nothing happened. Regulus
dropped his wand and ran from the room, leaving Sirius lying on the floor, in
more pain than he'd been in before.
Regulus was actually going to use the cruciatus curse on him. How could he
have ever believed that Regulus loved him. It all sounded so stupid now. He
stood up and grabbed his school trunk, which hadn't been emptied since he'd
arrived. School wasn't supposed to start for another week, but Sirius couldn't
stand staying in that house for any longer. He grabbed his wand from the
bedside table and wrenched his door open with force, stamping out of his room
and pulling his trunk down the stairs noisily. When he reached the bottom, he
spotted Regulus in the kitchen, staring at him with a weird expression.
"W-w-where are you g-going?" he asked timidly, staring at Sirius. Without
answering, Sirius carried on walking towards the front door. As he opened it,
he stopped. His mother had walked around the corner.
"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" she screeched, but
Sirius ignored her and pulled his trunk out the front door. "YOU COME BACK HERE
RIGHT NOW!" He slammed the door shut, and began walking down the street. He
walked and walked. He didn't care where he ended up – only that he was away
from them. He was gone. He wouldn't have to see them ever again.
Sirius was under-age, so he couldn't use magic outside of school. He had no
idea what to do. As he neared the end of the street, he looked around. He was
in the middle of Muggle London, with no way of reaching anyone magical. He
hoped he was somewhere near the Ministry of Magic, where he'd be able to reach
someone, but he had no idea where the entrance of it was.
He was a mess. His hair was ruffled, and his face was covered in sweat and
tears. He was still crying. Running his fingers through his hair, he wished he
had a mirror – some way to see what he was doing...
That was when it struck him – he had a mirror. In his trunk. Not a real mirror,
of course, but a way to contact James. His heart sunk when he thought of James.
Would James really help him? He honestly hoped so – after all, the mirror was
his only hope. Opening his trunk and ignoring the questioning glances by the
passing Muggles, Sirius pulled out the mirror, and closed his trunk again,
sitting on it. He lifted the mirror up so that he could see into it, and he was
relieved to see James through the mirror. It was obviously propped up on a desk
in James' room, and James was polishing his broom.
"James!" Sirius shouted through the mirror, and a few Muggles looked at him as
if he was a bit mad. He made a face at them. "What? Never talked to yourself in
the mirror?" he shouted at them, and they hurried along quickly. He looked back
into James' room, and James appeared to not have heard him.
"James, please," he said. "I really need your help."
James looked up at the mirror and sighed. "I don't feel up to talking to you
right now," he said.
"I know, I know. I was stupid. I'm sorry, I really am. I never meant any of the
things I said to you. You're not mean or arrogant or a bully, and I think you
have a great chance with Lily. I heard her speaking about you to Alice, and
she's starting to soften up a bit. Honestly, I was angry, and none of the
things I said were true. I just really need you to help me right now. I've got
nowhere to stay. My family... well... let's just say, I can't stand to be
anywhere near any of them. I don't know what to do."
"Wait? You've run away?" James asked, suddenly looking worried. "Where are
you?"
"I don't know," Sirius whined. "Somewhere in London. I think... er..."
"Hold on a second," said James. Turn the mirror so that I can see where you
are."
"OK," said Sirius, moving the mirror to give James a view of his location. He
held it there for about a minute before turning it around again, and looking
into the mirror. James was smiling at him.
"My dad knows the place. He'll be there in a minute, hold on," he said, and
Sirius grinned.
"Oh, thank you so much, James," he said. "Honestly... I don't know what I'd do
without you-"
"-Hey, don't worry about it," said James. "What are friends for?"
Crack
James' dad appeared right in front of where Sirius was sitting, looking sick
with worry.
"Sirius!" he said, pulling Sirius in for a fatherly hug. "Quick, let's get you
home."
"Home?"
"You know our place will always be a home to you," said Mr Potter kindly, and
Sirius grinned.
"Sure you can handle me?" he asked.
"C'mon! We brought up James," said Mr Potter. "I'm sure we can handle you."
"But what about both of us," Sirius said, smirking.
"Don't make me change my mind," Mr Potter said jokingly, grabbing Sirius'
trunk. "Let's go."
Being the first time Sirius had apparated, he felt like throwing up. It felt
horrible – like being pushed through a tube that's too small. However, his
sickness was pushed aside when he thought of what was going to happen-
He was away from his family forever. He was going to live with James. James had
forgiven him. Remus had forgiven him. He would no longer dread going home. He'd
never have to be tortured again. His life seemed perfect.
That was, until he thought of why he was there. Regulus. Sirius could feel an
empty hole in his heart. Regulus had broken up with him, and tried to use the
cruciatus curse on him. He hadn't ever felt this angry and distraught before.
Everything he'd had with Regulus had been a complete lie, and he had actually
believed that lie. He'd fallen for Regulus, when Regulus had just thought it a
little bit of fun.
With a pang of guilt, Sirius realised it was almost exactly the same sort of
thing he'd done to Remus. He'd lied, and Remus had fallen for him. He suddenly
felt more guilty and sympathetic than he'd ever felt before for Remus, and he
couldn't wait to see him to tell him how sorry he really was.
***** Brought Up To Be Brought Down *****
Chapter by Obsession137
The first thing Sirius did when he saw James was run over to him and pull him
into a brotherly hug. It was his way of saying 'I'm sorry. I was an idiot. I
should have listened to you. Forgive me.' James hugged him back, and Sirius
could tell that it meant 'it's OK. I forgive you. Everybody does stupid
things.' When they pulled apart, they grinned at each other and walked inside
James' house.
"Are you all right, dear?" asked Mrs Potter worriedly, touching Sirius'
forehead. "Can I get you anything?"
"Oh, no thank you," said Sirius with a smile. "I'm OK."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Well," she said. "If you need anything, don't be shy. Just come and ask, OK?"
"Yeah. Thank you."
"It's alright dear," she replied as she made her way to the kitchen. James
turned to Sirius.
"Do you want to go upstairs?" he asked, and Sirius shrugged.
"OK."
When they got up to James' room, James shut the door. "Sit," he said, pointing
to the bed. Sirius looked at him for a second and then sat down. James sat down
on the chair by his desk and looked at Sirius seriously.
"Will you tell me what happened?" he asked softly. Sirius shifted awkwardly.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said quietly, looking at his hands.
"It's not good to keep things bottled up, Sirius," James said. "And despite
everything we've been through, I'm still your best friend. You know you can
speak to me."
"Don't tell anyone," whispered Sirius. "It's..." his voice broke. "God, I wish
I could just go back in time and fix everything. I made the biggest mistakes of
my life! I hate myself so much!"
"It's OK, It's OK. Let it all out," James said, rubbing Sirius' back
soothingly. "So tell me what happened."
"Right," breathed Sirius, after calming down a bit. "Well, when I got home last
week, my mother treated me with a warm welcome of sending me straight up to my
room. Regulus came in and we had some argument about something stupid – I don't
remember, and then my mum came up and started yelling at me. She... well... she
h-hit me," Sirius said, so quietly that if James hadn't been listening so
intently, he would've missed it. James gasped.
"She hit you?" he said loudly, and Sirius shushed him.
"Yes," he replied. "She told me I had to be down for dinner so I made my way
downstairs and the whole bloody family were there," Sirius said, clenching his
fists. "My dad announced that they've arranged for Regulus to marry some girl-"
"-WHAT?" James exclaimed suddenly. "Oh Sirius," he said. "I'm sorry."
"It's... well... what can I do?" Sirius sighed. "Well then, Bellatrix made some
comment about me which turned everyones attention back to me. I answered back,
and she made some comment about how they liked to use the cruciatus curse on
Andromeda – you know, my cousin?"
"The cruciatus curse?" James said angrily. "They better not have used it on
you!"
"They... well, they did," Sirius said, his voice getting quieter again. "In
front of everyone, my dad did it. I kept begging Reg to make him stop..." he
started crying. "He didn't do anything. He just s-stood there and w-w-watched
it happen. I c-couldn't think about anything at all... he just... he b-betrayed
me."
"That asshole!" shouted James in fury. He put his arm around Sirius
comfortingly. "You're OK now, though?"
"Well, I ignored Reg for the whole of last week. I just stayed up in my room,
but he came in today. We got into a huge argument about what happened. He..."
Sirius swallowed, and shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Hey, you're almost there," said James. "Just tell me."
"It hurts... to even think about it," Sirius said, rubbing his eyes. "I... d-
don't want-"
"- What did he say to you?" asked James.
"H-h-he b-broke up with me," sobbed Sirius, feeling his heart break all over
again as he recounted the memory. "He said it was all a bit of fun and he d-d-
didn't feel anything... it was then that I got angry."
"I'd have thought you'd be more upset than angry," said James.
"Oh, I was upset... but I was really angry. He thought it was just a bit of
fun? I hurt Remus so badly for Reg to have a little bit of fun? How... I
just... IF HE WANTED A BIT OF FUN, HE COULD HAVE GONE TO SOMEONE ELSE! WHY ME?"
"But... I thought you loved him?" James asked softly, trying to calm down
Sirius.
"I did... I... still do. But I would never have fallen for him if he hadn't
kissed me in the first place... I got angry and started hitting him."
"You what?"
"Hard. Across the face. I wanted him to feel the pain he inflicted on me! And
he pushed me over... he... he..."
"What did he do?" James whispered.
"Took his wand out. He... tried to use the cruciatus curse on me," choked
Sirius.
"Oh god," said James. "But what do you mean, 'he tried'?"
"It didn't work," said Sirius. "I don't know why..."
"What happened then?"
"He ran out of the room. I left. Why would I want to stay there when all my
family want to do is hurt me?"
"It's OK. I understand. I just can't believe they'd do that to you – especially
Regulus," said James. "I'm so sorry, Sirius. Really, I am."
"Thanks," Sirius said. "I just don't want to think about it right now."
"Of course you don't," said James. "Let's take your mind off it, yeah?"
"Yeah," Sirius said, wiping away the last of the tears.
"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to sleep in here with me," said James. "My mum's
got a tent that you can have as your room. Only, it'll be in my room, if you
understand?"
"Great!" said Sirius brightly.
"That means you can decorate it however you want," said James.
"Thank you, James," said Sirius. "For letting me stay with you. I
really am grateful."
"It's no problem," grinned James.
##
The rest of the holidays were both relieving and exciting for Sirius. He was so
happy to be away from his family at last, and James helped him keep his mind
off Regulus by playing Quidditch and making plans for new pranks. When January
finally came around, Sirius was in a much better state than he'd been in
previously, and he only had James to thank for that.
"Have a wonderful year, boys," said Mrs Potter briefly before giving both
Sirius and James a quick kiss on the cheek and sending them through the
fireplace by floo.
When they arrived at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, it was extremely busy –
probably due to the fact that they'd arrived only two minutes before the train
was due to leave.
"Quick, let's get on the train," said James, grabbing Sirius by the arm and
pulling him on board. They found an empty compartment and sat opposite one
another, looking out of the window.
"I'm so glad we're going back to Hogwarts," said Sirius. "This has been one
hell of a holiday."
"Just make sure you ignore Regulus in the corridors," said James, and Sirius
felt his heart break a little.
"Oh yeah," he said quietly. "I forgot I'd be seeing him at school."
"Don't worry about him. If he says anything, just tell me and I'll deal with
him."
"Thanks," said Sirius, smiling slightly at James. The compartment door slid
open and Remus and Peter walked in. Remus seemed to be trying not to look at
Sirius, and Peter grinned at him.
"You're back!" he said happily, pulling him into a hug.
"Yeah," said Sirius. "Miss me?"
"Of course!" said Peter. Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Hey Remus," he said, looking at Remus cautiously. Remus looked up quickly and
smiled.
"Hi," he said. "Good to see you back."
"Good to be back," he grinned, trying to act as usual. Unfortunately, he and
James both knew that it was just an act. He was really hurting inside.
As the train journey went on, Sirius became more and more talkative. Even Remus
grew more comfortable talking to him, which was a relief to Sirius, who wanted
more than anything to have his friend back. Just as they were nearing the
castle, there was a knock on the compartment door and Sirius looked up to see –
to his dismay – Regulus. He cast a sideways glance to James in panic, who
nodded to him.
Regulus didn't wait to be invited in, but opened the door anyway.
"Er... can I speak to you for a minute, Sirius?" he asked quietly. Before
Sirius could reply, James stood up and closed the space between himself and
Regulus in an instant, so that their faces were only inches from each others.
"No," he said. "You can not speak to Sirius. Ever. Leave him alone, he doesn't
want to speak to you ever again. Do you understand me?"
"Can you just let me-"
"-I asked you a question. You do not just use my friend like that. You do not
just hurt him like that. How dare you? I suggest you leave right now before I
hurt you."
"I-"
"Leave," said James coldly, shoving Regulus hard in the chest and slamming the
compartment door shut. He turned to Sirius. "Did I say the right things?"
"Yeah," said Sirius. "Thank you, James."
"It's OK."
"Why... er... what happened?" asked Remus.
"I... just... well... it's a long story," said Sirius.
"We can keep up," said Peter with a light smile.
"In short, I got in trouble with my family and Regulus broke up with me. I ran
away from home and I'm living with James now," Sirius said.
"You ran away from home?" Peter shouted. "But why?"
"He hates his family," said Remus. "Why wouldn't he run away?"
"Why did Regulus break up with you?" asked Peter.
"Can you guys give it a rest for a while? He's pretty upset over it," James
said, and Sirius cast him a thankful look.
"Of course," said Remus. "Just know that you can talk to me if you want."
"Thanks," said Sirius.
He couldn't fathom why. Why in a million years Remus was being so nice to him –
after what he'd done to Remus. It felt as if the whole thing hadn't happened,
and Remus was just his friend again. Not that Sirius was complaining, but it
all seemed a little weird.
##
The rest of the night flew by, and before he knew it, Sirius was tucked up in
bed. After a few minutes of lying in silence, he felt his bed move and a face
emerged through the curtains. Remus sat down on his bed and shut the curtains
behind him.
"Hi," he said quietly. Sirius sat up.
"Hi," he replied, squinting through the darkness to see his friends face.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Nothing... I... well, I just wanted to see if you were OK," Remus whispered.
"Are you OK?"
"I'm fine in comparison to how you must have felt when... well, you know..."
"I already told you, Sirius. I'm over that," Remus said. "Actually, over the
Christmas holidays I think I've got over you."
"You've gotten over me?" asked Sirius. For some reason, that revelation hurt
him.
"Yeah. I realised that it was no good trying to go after someone who didn't
love me back, and I realised that yeah – there is someone else who I believe I
could have a chance with."
"And who's that?" Sirius asked in curiosity. Remus shifted slightly, leaning
forward a bit.
"You can't tell anyone," he whispered.
"I promise I won't," said Sirius.
"It's James," Remus said. Sirius wasn't sure he'd heard correctly. Did Remus
like James?
"Er... you mean our James? Prongs?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah... who else would it be?" said Remus.
"Um... no offence Moony, but James is straight. And he is in love with Evans."
"How do you know that for sure?" Remus asked defensively. "You saw the way he
stuck up for me when you cheated on me."
"Because he's your friend... he stuck up for me just the same on the train
today," Sirius said. "I don't think you should get your hopes up."
"No," Remus said angrily. "Last time I got my hopes up you came and crushed
them. I won't let you crush them this time!" With that, he marched off of the
bed and back towards his own, leaving Sirius feeling empty.
What else was he supposed to do – encourage him? He was only being truthful,
and he didn't want Remus to get hurt twice. And what was the deal about Remus
being 'over' the incident when he obviously wasn't? Sirius couldn't think
clearly, and tried to push the encounter out of his mind as he focused on the
fact that he was back at Hogwarts with James and Peter. He would pull many more
pranks and enjoy Quidditch again. But Remus was over him? Sirius really didn't
like the sound of that. Even though he didn't feel the same way, it was always
nice to have someone care that much about you, and now that it was gone, Sirius
felt more lonely.
The only thing he could think about was that in the morning, he was most
definitely going to find himself a girlfriend. It was the only thing he could
do to take his mind off of Remus and Regulus and every other thing that had
happened in the past few months... hey... he might even get into a successful
relationship! That was something that helped him get to sleep that night – the
sheer possibility of a happy, successful relationship – without lying, or
cheating or forbidden love. Just pure happiness. That's what Sirius needed.
***** Girls, Girls, Girls *****
Chapter by Obsession137
Sirius marched through the Gryffindor common room without a word to anyone.
With no warning, he grabbed Mary McDonald and pulled her in for a rough, angry
kiss. She didn't back away, nor did she object to the sudden affection.
Instead, she kissed him back, in the exact same manner. Neither cared that the
entire Gryffindor common room were watching them with mouths hanging open in
shock. Sirius fought for dominance, and after a while, Mary gave in to him and
let him lead the kiss. Some other girls turned their attention to other things
– after all, they'd all wanted the chance of kissing Sirius Black, and it hurt
to watch him kiss another girl right in front of their eyes. The kiss went on,
and finally Sirius broke it, looking her in the eyes and groaning to himself.
She smiled warmly up at him and leaned in for another kiss, but he pushed her
away.
"I'm sorry," he said briefly as he walked off in the other direction, leaving
her standing there with all eyes on her.
As he stepped through the portrait leading out of the common room, a hand
grabbed him by the shoulder. He turned to see James standing there, looking
irritated.
"What?" asked Sirius angrily.
"What was that all about?" James asked.
"What was what all about?"
"That kiss with Mary," prompted James. "You never mentioned you liked her."
"I don't like her," said Sirius grumpily, looking down at his feet.
"Then why did you go and get her hopes up like that?" James asked, backing
against the wall to let someone out of the portrait hole. It was only after a
second, he noticed it was Mary. She stopped in front of Sirius with a blush
creeping into her cheeks.
"Hey Siri," she giggled, placing a hand on his face. Sirius took her hand and
placed it back down by her side.
"Leave me alone," he muttered to her. "It didn't mean anything. I was just
testing something out. Sorry I bothered you."
"Oh," she said, tears filling her eyes. As she turned to walk away, she looked
back at him with a look of anger in her eyes, and spoke again. "Look, Sirius,"
she said. "You can't just do that to me. How dare you? Maybe you don't know
this, but I've liked you for a really long time and when you kissed me, I
thought that maybe things were changing. I thought that maybe you liked me
back... and I guess the rumours are all true then!"
"What rumours?" asked Sirius blankly.
"The rumours that you don't care about anyone! You're such a player!" with
that, she shoved him against the wall and ran off down the stairs. He remained
silent for a moment, blinked, and turned back to face James.
"What were you saying?" he asked, as if nothing had happened. James laughed,
and they both knew he wasn't laughing because he found the situation funny.
"I was saying that what you just did to her wasn't right," he said, frowning at
his friend. "And I'm glad she told you what she thinks, too."
"Uh huh," said Sirius. "Now that's settled, why don't we go down for
breakfast?"
"No," James said. "What were you testing on her?"
"I don't want to talk about it," said Sirius, clenching his fists. James
sighed.
"Let's talk about it while we walk down to the Great Hall, then?" he asked.
"Whatever."
===============================================================================
"So?" prompted James, as they walked slowly down each step leading to the Great
Hall.
"I want a – no. I need a girlfriend," said Sirius. James raised his eyebrows.
"Why do you need a girlfriend? And by the way, you don't usually get
girlfriends by kissing them and then telling them it means nothing..."
"I know, I know," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "It's just that I've never
kissed a girl before... I wanted to make sure it felt right. I need a
girlfriend to get over this mess I've got myself in."
"Well, you've gone the wrong way about it," said James. "Do you want my
advice?"
"No. But you'll give me it anyway, so I'm listening," Sirius said, looking at
James, who grinned.
"You know me too well," he said. "Right, so you wanted to know if it felt right
kissing a girl? It's not about that. It'll feel right when you're with someone
you really like – no matter their gender. I think you should find a girl that
you like, get to know her, go on a few dates... then try kissing her. If it
feels right, then why not stick with her? If it doesn't feel right, I'm sure
she'll understand – after all, you'd be testing it out in a much politer
way..."
"You know, I think you're right," Sirius said, his face lighting up a bit.
"I'm always right," James replied happily. "So, are there any girls you like?"
"Um... not that I know of," complained Sirius, scanning the Great Hall.
"Ok then," James said. "How about personalities? Any girls that you think have
nice personalities?"
"No. I don't usually talk to girls. Apart from Alice and Lily... Alice is taken
and Lily is a bitch – no offence," Sirius added with a cheeky grin.
"None taken. She's a bitch to me too and that's why I love her," James said,
gazing off into the distance. Sirius clicked his fingers in front of James'
face, breaking him out of his mini trance.
"Earth to James," he said.
"Oh right. Well, Ok... how about any girls you think are good-looking? Start
with that, and then get to know their personalities," James said.
"Well, there's Marlene," Sirius said, lowering his voice as he reached the
Gryffindor table. James lowered his voice as well, realising that Marlene was
only seats away.
"Well, there you go," James said. "She's smoking hot, and she's got a great
personality too. Go for it."
"You think I should go for it?" asked Sirius uncertainly, looking at Marlene
warily. "What if she doesn't want to?"
"Every girl in this school wants to go out with you," James said rolling his
eyes. "She'll jump at the chance."
"You think?"
"Yes," said James, laughing at how oblivious Sirius was to this common fact.
Sirius nodded, taking a drink from the cup on the table.
"I'll speak to her later," he said. "Thanks, James."
"No problem. You know me with the girls," he winked. "I'm an expert."
"Yeah... and how many girls have you kissed? Er... let's see... none," Sirius
said, with a triumphant smile. James subtly hit Sirius with a bread stick.
"I'm saving my first kiss for a certain gorgeous red-head," he said in a dreamy
voice, letting his eyes fall on Lily. She obviously noticed, and while her face
reddened, her expression hardened.
"And what are you staring at?" she asked angrily.
"Your beautiful face," answered James. Lily smiled, and when realising what she
was doing, coughed.
"Well," she said briskly. "Stop that."
"Uh huh," James said with a grin. He turned to Sirius, who rolled his eyes.
"You love-sick loser," he said, flinching when a bread stick hit him on the
head. He was aware that two people took their places at the table, and he was
pretty sure who they were. When he looked up, he was right. He cleared his
throat.
"Hey Pete," he said.
"Hey," Peter replied. Sirius looked at Remus, who seemed to be avoiding eye
contact with him.
"Hi Remus," he said hopefully. Remus looked up and put on a clearly fake smile.
"Hey Sirius," he said, gritting his teeth. "You'd better not have said anything
to do with what we were talking about last-"
"- I didn't," said Sirius. Remus let out a deep breath and nodded. The awkward
silence that followed, seemed to last forever, but Sirius stopped noticing it
when he felt his heart clench in his chest. He tore his eyes away from the
person he'd just seen entering the Great Hall.
"Hey Sirius, breathe," James said from beside him.
"Huh?" asked Sirius blankly.
"You're not breathing."
"Oh," said Sirius.
"I know you're upset," James whispered.
"About what?" asked Sirius, pretending not to know what James was talking
about.
"I saw him walk in too, you know? And you stopped breathing at that very
moment."
"Who?" Peter asked curiously. Remus rolled his eyes.
"His ex... you know... his brother," he sneered. Peter, James and Sirius all
looked at Remus questioningly.
"What?" exclaimed Remus. "It's completely wrong. It shouldn't have happened,
and you know what? If it hadn't happened, then maybe we'd all be happier..."
"Rem? You're not still upset over-"
"- No. I just don't want to hear all about how you're hurting over it. It's
your own damned fault for falling for your brother," said Remus.
"Why are you being so nasty to him?" asked James. "You were supportive
yesterday..."
Remus clenched his fists under the table. "Only because he's not very
supportive of me."
"Oh, c'mon Remus," said Sirius. "That's different and you know it!"
"I don't want to talk about it," said Remus.
"Well it seems like you do."
"Not here," said Remus. "When Peter and James are right here at the table."
Sirius grinned. "Hey James?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever considered – I mean – Do you ever – Are you gay?" Sirius asked,
looking directly at Remus while he said it. James looked confused, but answered
anyway.
"No," he said. "Why..?"
"No reason," shrugged Sirius.
"But there's a possibility that you could be, isn't there?" Remus asked James
hopefully. James shook his head briskly, grinning.
"No way," he said. "I'm in love with Lily. End of. Will you guys explain why
you're asking me these questions?"
Nobody replied to him, but Sirius just looked at Remus meaningfully. Remus was
looking down with a sad expression. He looked up quickly, and with a small
smile, he stood up.
"I'm going to Arithmancy," he said. "See you all later."
"Bye," said James and Peter simultaneously, as Remus walked away.
"What was that all about?" whispered James.
"Don't worry about it," Sirius said. "I was just... well... just don't worry."
"Er... Ok then," said James. "We should probably get going. We have
Divination."
"Yay," said Peter sarcastically as they all made their way to the stuffy
classroom.
===============================================================================
Sirius jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and realised that it was
Professor Winters – his Divination teacher. Sirius put on a goofy grin.
"Hey, Professor," he said.
"You were sleeping," stated the professor.
"Ah, sorry," said Sirius.
"Have you seen anything in the crystal ball?" asked Professor Winters.
"No," groaned Sirius. Professor Winters sighed and sat down next to him.
"Let us have a look, shall we?" he said, gazing into the crystal orb with a
ridiculously mystical expression on his face. He tutted to himself and looked
at Sirius in sympathy. "It is what I feared," he said.
"The Grim?" asked Sirius uninterestedly. Every lesson was the same, and
although Professor seemed to get extremely worried about the death omen
appearing in Sirius' crystal ball, Sirius knew that he was either making it up,
or that he was simply seeing Sirius' animagus form.
"But how did you know?" asked Professor Winters in amazement.
"Just a lucky guess," said Sirius.
"Your inner eye is clearly being awakened, my dear boy," said Professor
Winters. "Please, take another look."
"If you insist," Sirius said, peering into the crystal ball. He nearly jumped
out of his seat when the foggy mist in the ball cleared and he
actually saw something.
His eyes widened as he tried to make out the scene he was watching. There was
an outline of a person, in a wispy black liquid, running. The person came to a
halt at a road with two paths leading off in different directions. On one road,
there was his house... a familiar place that he'd been to before. The other
road led to a place he'd never been before, which was intriguing. The person
had to make a decision quickly, before somebody else came along and made his
mind up for him, and the lightning overhead was driving him crazy. The person
ran in the direction of his house, only to find it already occupied. He ran
back as fast as he could, but lightning blocked his path. He fell to his knees,
letting tears fall at the setback, when suddenly an outline of a stag appeared
in his vision. The lightning ceased, and the person followed the stag to where
it was leading him; to the direction of the new place he'd never been before.
The person nodded to the stag and headed off in the other direction.
Sirius was pulled out of his vision when he realized what it was
symbolising. He was the person. The road with that familiar place symbolised
Remus, and the other road that led to a new place symbolised Marlene. The
lightning symbolised Regulus, and the stag was, of course, James. The entire
vision represented the decision he was trying to make. He knew that he needed
to try taking a new path to get away from the pain of the breakup with both
Remus and Regulus.
"Sirius... you Ok?" asked Peter worriedly. Sirius nodded, explaining to the
teacher what he'd just seen. Professor Winters nodded and finally laughed.
"When do you kids ever learn? You can not just make up 'pretend' visions. That
is not the way the inner eye works." With that, he walked off to another table.
"Seriously," said Sirius after Professor Winters had left. "I really saw that."
"I believe you," said James. "And I know what it means. Like I said this
morning, go for it."
Sirius nodded. "I think it's the right thing to do."
===============================================================================
Walking down to the tree by the lake was much more difficult than usual for
Sirius. His head was filled with so many hopes and doubts; he felt like his
head would implode. He could just make out Marlene sitting down by the lake
with her friend from Ravenclaw, Joanne Knight. Taking a deep breath, he strode
over to her and cleared his throat.
"Marlene," he said, and she turned to face him.
"Oh hey, Sirius," she said.
"Can I speak to you?" he asked nervously. She stood up and nodded.
"I'll be back in a minute, Jo," she said to her friend. "What's up?" she asked.
Sirius led her behind the tree, growing more and more nervous with every
second. She was truly beautiful. How could he ever expect her to say yes? But
then again, James had said that every girl would go out with him...
"I just wanted to ask you... well, you know there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming
up next Saturday?"
"Yeah," she said, a smile growing on her face. Sirius found himself unable to
speak. Her bluish-grey eyes were mesmerizing.
"I was just-"
"- Sirius?" she said, eyebrows raised. "Sirius Black? Nervous?"
"Not really... I er..."
She leaned up so that her mouth was close to Sirius' ear and spoke in a low,
and – what Sirius believed to be – sexy voice;
"I'd love to go to Hogsmeade with you, Sirius."
"Y-you would?" Sirius asked in disbelief. "But how did you know what I was-"
"- Experience," she said, winking. "I'll meet you outside the Great Hall on
Saturday morning."
"Ok..." said Sirius, watching after her as she walked back over to her friend.
"Bye," he whispered, even though she obviously couldn't hear him.
===============================================================================
As he walked back up to the castle, he should have felt happy about what he'd
managed – or  not  managed, in this case – to do. He had a date with a gorgeous
girl, but he still couldn't bring himself to smile. She was overwhelming. He
wasn't sure if he liked that. Sirius liked to be the one in control, and this
didn't feel that way. When he was with Remus, he was definitely in control, and
he felt so much more comfortable that way. When he was with Regulus, he was
mainly in control, and that had worked out just fine. And thinking of them,
just flooded back the feelings he'd been trying to suppress. He really wasn't
sure if having a girlfriend would make those feelings go away, but he could
try, couldn't he?
Every time he saw Remus, a wave of protectiveness washed over him and he didn't
want to see him get hurt. Every time he saw Regulus, he felt a pang in his
heart from all of the pain Regulus had caused him. Didn't that mean that
somewhere, he still had feelings for the both of them? Sirius wished –
especially at that moment – that his life could be as easy and simple as
James'. All James wanted was one person. There were no mixed feelings, no
questions, no painful memories. He sighed as he entered the castle and headed
towards his next lesson with more questions running through his head than
before.
***** Fury *****
Chapter by Obsession137
The time between then and Saturday morning flew by – quicker than Sirius would
have wanted it to go. He was more nervous than he'd ever been, and that wasn't
good. Dates were meant to be fun and relaxed, right? Not scary and uncertain.
When Saturday morning finally came around, Sirius was up much earlier than
usual, hogging the bathroom.
"Sirius?" called a familiar voice from the other side of the door. Sirius took
in a deep breath and took one last look in the mirror before walking towards
the door and opening it.
"You can go in there now," he said shortly to Remus, avoiding eye-contact.
"Actually," said Remus, grabbing him by the arm. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Huh?"
"I said I wanted to talk to you," Remus said.
"Yeah, I know. About what?"
"In the bathroom," said Remus, dragging Sirius back into the room and closing
the door.
"What's up?" asked Sirius, trying to stay calm. Remus narrowed his eyes.
"What's up?" he asked. "You know what's up, Sirius."
"Oh... that."
"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday," muttered Remus. "It wasn't
fair. Of course you can hurt over what happened. It would be wrong if you
weren't hurting."
"Oh... yeah... thanks," said Sirius off-handedly, taking another look at
himself in the mirror and nervously flattening down his hair. Remus clicked his
fingers in front of Sirius' face.
"Hello?" he said. "I was thinking that maybe you might want to apologise to me,
too."
"What? Why would I apologise to you?" asked Sirius. Remus sighed.
"For almost telling James that I like him," he prompted. Sirius bit his lip,
and looked at the ground.
"Well... I don't think I should apologise," Sirius said quietly. "I didn't do
anything wrong. I was just trying to confirm for you, that James is straight. I
didn't want you to get hurt."
"I really hate you sometimes," said Remus through gritted teeth. "I actually
can't stand you."
"Oh, what now?" Sirius asked. "I can never do anything right when it comes to
you."
"You mess everything up for me!" Remus yelled. "You mess up everything!"
"How have I messed everything up?"
"Well, where do we start? Oh yeah, let's start with that little
incident concerning Snape and the Whomping Willow. That was my secret. You blew
it just like that-"
"-That was ages-"
"-Shut up, Sirius. I'm talking. Then, we have that other little incident where
you cheated on me. Yeah, that really messed things up for me. You know I
haven't got over you. Everyone can see that! I know I have to get over you
because you're horrible. You're nasty, you're lying, cheating and a complete
idiot, and I don't want to spend my life wanting to be with someone like that.
That's why I have been trying to get over you."
"-But-"
"-Please let me finish," said Remus slowly. "I finally found someone that I
could maybe like. I was happy enough to believe that I liked James. I was happy
enough to believe that I'd got over you, but then, once again, you have to ruin
everything. It's like you don't want me to be happy!"
"I did it so you could be happy!"
"Can you just leave me alone, Sirius? Don't interfere. You don't have the right
to interfere any more. See, only my friends have that right, and you lost my
friendship when you continued to hurt me."
"But you already told me that you were over those other things!" shouted Sirius
with a mixture of anger and sadness. "You can't just say you're over them, and
then just bring them up when you want to blame me for something."
"Who said I can't? I was never over any of them. I just tried to ignore them.
Truth is, you've been hurting me for a long time and I can't take it any more.
And I lied. I'm not sorry about what I said yesterday, what you did was wrong
and sick, and you should be ashamed of yourself."
"You're a right prat, you know?" Sirius said, shoving him back against the wall
with force. Remus glared at him.
"You call me the prat, when you're the one using violence against someone you
claim to care for."
"I don't care for you any more. Like you said, our friendship is over, and not
just because you said so... it's because you're not worth it."
"Boo hoo... that's so sad," Remus said, rolling his eyes and walking out of the
door.
Sirius clenched his fists, making his knuckles go white. He hadn't felt so
angry since Regulus had broke up with him. After waiting for a few minutes in
frozen silence, he let out a breath and walked back into the dormitory. He saw
Remus sitting with Peter, talking in angry whispers. Gritting his teeth, he
averted his eyes to his own bed. It was a surprise to see James sitting there
looking at him expectantly. As he walked over to the bed, James looked up at
him as if he were saying 'what the hell happened, mate?'
Sirius' eyes widened in anger as he shook his head and glanced at Remus. James
nodded understandingly and pulled Sirius out of the dormitory. As they walked
down through the common room, and through the castle, neither of them spoke.
When they reached the Quidditch pitch, Sirius didn't even question James to why
they were there – it was because they needed somewhere at talk. Alone.
===============================================================================
"HE IS  PISSING  ME OFF!" yelled Sirius when they finally stopped. "I JUST WANT
TO- I WANT TO- GOD, I WISH I COULD JUST KILL HIM!"
"Hey! Calm down a bit. Think about what you're saying. You don't want to kill
him," said James, grabbing Sirius' arms and putting them down by his side,
after he'd been throwing them around frantically.
"I'm sorry," groaned Sirius. "But I can't stand him! He's just so... so...
there aren't even words!"
"Be careful what you say, Sirius," said James. "He's your friend, remember."
"Friend?" laughed Sirius. "No. We aren't friends. Not any more."
"Tell me what happened," said James shortly. "We can't fix it unless you tell
me."
"What makes you think I want to fix it?" Sirius asked. "Maybe I'm happier that
way. I don't have to worry about him thinking he's so perfect and thinking
that everyone's trying to hurt him!"
"Sirius. What happened?"
"He's a bastard."
"No, really," said James. "What happened?"
"I hate him," growled Sirius.
"Sirius... tell me what actually happened!"
"I was just going about my business when he demanded that I talk to him and he
then apologised for what he said yesterday but he's not really sorry because he
told me that after I said I wasn't sorry for trying to let him know that you're
straight and he has no chance with you and he flipped and said that I always
hurt him and he hates me and I lost his friendship and then I shoved him
against the wall and he said something that made me angry and walked out."
"I didn't catch any of that," said James. "Talk slowly."
"I just don't want to talk about it," Sirius said, slightly out of breath.
"Where did I go wrong, James?"
"You didn't-"
"-I did! Look at me! I'm a complete mess!" With that, he completely broke down
in James' arms, letting out all of the tears that had been desperately trying
to escape. Tears of anger, hurt, sadness, betrayal, loss. James didn't say
anything; he held onto his best friend. Sirius couldn't believe this was
happening... how un-Sirius-like. He didn't cry, and especially not in the arms
of his best friend.
It could have been minutes, hours, seconds – Sirius wasn't sure – but when he
broke out of the hug, he felt a hundred times better. He sniffed and nodded at
James.
"Thanks," he mumbled, giving him a slight smile. James smiled back.
"It's OK. Now, do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Alright."
***** Breaking World *****
Chapter by Obsession137
"He what?" James asked, wide-eyed.
"He likes you," said Sirius. James stared straight back at him with the
strangest look in his eyes.
"Likes... me?" he asked, without blinking.
"Yeah."
"Why?" he questioned curiously.
"Why should I know? Ask him!" Sirius said impatiently.
"Sorry," said James. "I just can't believe it. I mean, I know you both were gay
of course, but I never thought that one of you would actually like me in that
way..."
"Yeah, well-"
"- and Remus of all people!"
"Yeah, so-"
"- and doesn't he know that I'm straight?"
"Yeah, that's what I was trying to-"
"- I should really let him down lightly, shouldn't I?"
"If you-"
"- but then, I don't want to hurt him. He's my mate."
"Well, you don't want to-"
"- lead him on?"
"Yeah, how did you-"
"- I just know what you mean. I know! It's hard Sirius. What should I do?"
"Well, you could-"
"- but I'm really not used to this! It's so surreal!"
"- IF YOU WOULD JUST LET ME TALK!" shouted Sirius frustratedly. James shut up
and mouthed the word 'sorry'. "Just speak to him about... well... I don't know
why I'm trying to make it easier for him after what he just did to me! You know
what? Hurt him as much as you want. I'll be thrilled to watch."
"Sirius, you don't mean that," said James disapprovingly.
"Oh really?" challenged Sirius. "I couldn't care less if he died right now."
"Why don't you watch your words?" James said. "If he died right now, you would
feel terrible."
"Yeah yeah," said Sirius. James sighed.
"Shall we just go back up to the castle? You're supposed to be going on a date
today remember?"
"OH CRAP!" said Sirius. "I forgot! James, I'm a mess!"
"You look fine," shrugged James. "Just be yourself and she'll love you. Come
on, let's go."
===============================================================================
"Sirius!" cried Marlene, rushing up to him and grabbing his hand. "You look
gorgeous as ever, of course," she winked. Sirius gulped and smiled.
"Thanks," he mumbled. "So do you."
"Oh, stop it," she said, waving off the compliment. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah, sure," he said in a voice a few octaves higher than he would have liked.
The walk down to Hogsmeade was extremely uncomfortable and awkward.
"So..." said Sirius, trying to ease the tension.
"What's your favourite colour?" asked Marlene lamely.
"Red. You?"
"Blue."
"Ah, cool."
"Red's a cool colour too, though," said Marlene. "Gryffindor!"
"Yeah!" Sirius said, punching the air with no enthusiasm.
"So," Marlene cleared her throat. "Where would you like to go?"
"Anywhere," said Sirius.
"The Three Broomsticks?" suggested Marlene, and Sirius shrugged.
"Sure."
As Madam Rosmerta placed the two butterbeers on their table, they both took a
sip and stared at each other, hoping for the other to bring up something
interesting to talk about.
"Well this sucks," said Marlene after a while. "No offence, but you're so
boring. If you don't want to talk, why don't we just kiss?"
"Huh?"
"Shut up," she said, pulling his face towards her and shoving her tongue in his
mouth. He kissed back, trying to mimic the force she was putting into it. He
felt her grab his hand and run it down her body, slowly, down her neck, over
her shoulders. She stopped at her heart, where he felt it beat fast. She moved
his hand down to her breasts, and he gasped as he cupped them in his hands.
"Mmm... you like that?" she whispered seductively in his ear with a small
giggle.
"No," he said automatically. She pulled away in confusion.
"What?"
"I mean yes! I like it!" he said, willing himself to at least try to enjoy it.
She smiled at him and he nearly jumped out of his skin as her hand grasped his
crotch.
"M-M-Whoah! We're in public!" he yelled at her. She laughed.
"So?"
"So I don't want people to see this," he said.
"We can go somewhere a little more private," Marlene said, biting her lip. "I'm
not wearing any underwear," she added in a whisper.
"Eww!" he shouted, backing away. "Why would you tell me that?"
"Because you're supposed to find it sexy!" she replied, pouting.
"You are not sexy!"
"Well neither are you," she answered. "I only did this because I was bored
anyway. There were better guys I could have spent my time with."
"Lovely to know," replied Sirius dryly. "I'll just be leaving now."
"Yeah, because I know that there was no way you would be coming," she yelled
after him.
"Not with you!" he yelled back, slamming the door shut.
===============================================================================
Collapsing on the floor with his head in his hands, Sirius let out a cry of
frustration. Why did everything have to be so complicated for him? He couldn't
ever do anything right. Not even with a perfectly beautiful girl. He was just
hopeless.
"Are you OK?" asked someone. Sirius looked up.
"I'm fine," he said angrily.
"Are you sure?" asked Peter. "You seem to be really upset lately."
"Don't you know why?" Sirius asked. "I saw you speaking to Remus this morning."
"Yeah, but-"
"-Choose your side carefully, Pete. Him or me."
"What?"
"I understand. You choose him. Why not? He always was so wonderfully perfect."
"I think you should go see a doctor Sirius," Peter said worriedly. "No offence,
but you don't seem right."
"How?" mocked Sirius.
"You seem to have lost it a little," said Peter apologetically.
"You think I'm crazy?" Sirius laughed.
"I didn't say that!" said Peter. "You seem to have just got so stressed that
you're losing it a bit. You just need to see a doctor. You'll be fine."
"Thanks, but no thanks Pete," said Sirius, walking off back towards the castle
without a look back at his friend.
===============================================================================
Crazy? How could  he  be crazy?  The  Sirius Black. Crazy. Ha! Sirius laughed
to himself as he walked through the corridors. Then again, he thought, he  was 
in the Black family. Why  wouldn't  he be crazy? But he knew he was different.
He was a Gryffindor – that had to mean something, and he had the courage to run
away from home. He wasn't crazy.
Lost in his thoughts, Sirius collided hard with someone, falling to the ground.
"Aww m'head!" he slurred, as he sat up, the room spinning before his eyes. When
his sight got back into focus, he saw who it was that he had collided with. The
person who was sitting in front of him, looking at him in concern. His brother.
"Are you OK?" he asked.
"No," said Sirius.
"I didn't mean to... I was just walking... I just... I didn't see you-"
"- You ruined me," croaked Sirius. Regulus' face fell and he looked at Sirius
with sincere sympathy.
"I am so sorry," he said. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am."
"I love you," said Sirius. "How could you... could you... could you... do
this?"
"I don't know," Regulus said with a frown.
"You're evil," Sirius spat.
"I'm not-"
"- You are so evil," continued Sirius. "And I can't even find the strength to
stop myself from crying."
"Oh god," said Regulus, looking at Sirius with sad eyes. Sirius let the tears
fall down his face, and he didn't even care who walked by and saw it. He didn't
care that he was vulnerable. He just didn't care. Nothing mattered to him any
more. He wasn't even sure what he was living for...
An ex-boyfriend who hated him? A brother who betrayed him? A girl who
humiliated him? A friend who accused him of being what he wasn't?
He just wasn't sure any more.
***** Miracle *****
Chapter by Obsession137
"I have to... h-have to go," sobbed Sirius, pushing himself up off the ground
and heading back in the direction he'd come from. However, he didn't get very
far.
"Come back here, now," said Regulus demandingly. Sirius didn't want to stop,
but the tone of Regulus' voice made him come to a halt. It was if he didn't
have a choice. He stayed rooted on the spot, facing away from Regulus.
"What?" he managed to reply through tears. Regulus didn't answer him straight
away. Instead, there was silence and suddenly two arms slipped around Sirius,
holding him tightly. He wanted more than anything to pull away, but he found he
couldn't.
"I'm sorry," whispered Regulus, tightening his grip on Sirius. "I'm so sorry."
"You don't know what you've done." The voice was so cold and distant that
Sirius wasn't even sure it was his own voice. Despite his cold tone, he
couldn't help sagging against his brother and sighing.
"I didn't mean any of it," said Regulus, as if Sirius hadn't spoken. "What I
said back at home. It was because I was angry, and you wouldn't listen to me.
It was completely wrong."
"You tried to crucio me!" yelled Sirius. "How can you... can you... how... YOU
CAN'T EXPECT ME TO JUST FORGIVE YOU AFTER THAT!"
"I know," muttered Regulus, his voice coloured with what was clearly regret. "I
don't expect you to. It would be a miracle if you did. I just wanted you to
know how sorry I am."
"I don't know what to say to you," sighed Sirius, wiping his eyes and pulling
out of the hug. He couldn't see Regulus properly as his vision was blurred from
the tears. "I'm having the worst year of my life. It all started because of
you."
"I know," mumbled Regulus again.
"And you don't even care!" cried Sirius. Regulus winced as though Sirius had
hit him across the face.
"Of course I care!" he answered crossly, glaring at Sirius. "Why would I be
telling you how sorry I am if I didn't care? I care too much! I feel so bad
about how stupid I was."
"What are you sorry for?" asked Sirius, staring down at the ground like a sulky
child who was getting into trouble.
"Everything," Regulus answered, peering up at him with sincerity. Sirius looked
more hurt than touched. He looked into Regulus' face with a pained expression.
"You're sorry for everything?" he asked, with no expression in his voice.
Regulus' eyes widened as he realised what Sirius meant.
"NO!" he shouted quickly, grabbing Sirius' arm and squeezing it lightly. "I'm
not sorry at all for what happened between us. I loved every minute of it. It
was... you were absolutely perfect. I'm sorry for not standing up for you
against Dad, and I'm sorry I got angry and broke up with you like that. I'm
sorry for trying to hurt you more than I already had."
Sirius laughed. "I'm not perfect. I'm a bloody mess! Not even fifteen minutes
ago one of my friends expressed his concerns about my sanity and asked that I
see a doctor."
"Sirius!" Regulus hissed, eyes getting larger. "Are you unwell?"
"I'm fine," he groaned. "Just stressed about you and Remus and some stupid pig
called Marlene."
"I thought you were friends with him again?" Regulus asked awkwardly. Sirius
grimaced and shook his head.
"No."
"Oh," said Regulus, staring into Sirius' eyes. He nervously began picking at
the hem of his school jumper, biting his lip slightly. "Do you forgive me,
Sirius?" he asked so quietly that anyone walking by would not have heard.
Sirius sighed. He felt so torn inside. As much as he wanted to forgive Regulus,
he had hurt him more than anyone else. "I'll forgive you-"
"Thank you-"
"-If you get back together with me," finished Sirius, staring in to Regulus'
eyes with hope.
"That isn't fair," said Regulus suddenly, backing away a little. "I'm
getting married!"
"Who cares?" Sirius said heartlessly. He didn't care. Regulus needed to choose.
"I care! Mum and Dad care! The whole family cares! I can't just... get with you
and sneak my way out of this wedding. I'd be in so much trouble and end up just
like you!"
"Do you want to get married? Really?" Sirius asked curiously.
"NO! I don't want to get married to a girl I don't know at all, but I have to,
don't I? There is no way out. It's done." Regulus now looked close to tears and
Sirius felt a wave of pity.
"Just say no," he whispered quickly. "Stand up for yourself."
"That's easy to say coming from you," muttered Regulus angrily. "You always say
how you feel, but I can't stand up to them. I'm not brave like you."
"You were brave enough to attempt using the cruciatus curse on someone you
cared about," Sirius said with disbelief at the casual way he was talking about
the event that had upset him so much. Regulus shook his head vigorously.
"That's not brave! That's stupid and cruel and nasty."
"You weren't thinking," said Sirius.
"This has nothing to do with that wedding I'm having next month," said Regulus,
glowering at him. Sirius sighed, taking Regulus' hand.
"Please don't go through with it. Not just for me, but for yourself. Don't do
anything you don't feel happy doing. Please."
Regulus gave him a small smile and shrugged half-heartedly. "I'll try," he said
softly. "I'll try to stand up to them."
"That's all I ask," said Sirius, smiling too. They stood like that in silence
for a few moments, and then Sirius pulled Regulus forward a little. "So will
you be mine again?"
Regulus nodded wordlessly and leaned into Sirius, pressing his face against his
chest. Sirius' face cracked into the biggest grin as he wrapped his arms around
Regulus and hugged him tightly.
"I love you," Sirius said simply, hoping more than anything that Regulus would
reply in the way he wanted him to. He felt him smile into his chest.
"I love you too," he said quietly.
===============================================================================
The walk back up to Gryffindor Tower was a blur for Sirius. A wonderful blur of
emotions. He still couldn't believe what had happened downstairs with Regulus,
and he had to actually pinch himself a few times to make sure it was real. Each
time, he was delighted to feel that horrible pain from where he'd pinched
himself, knowing that it meant that he was really back with the love of his
life.
As he reached the portrait hole and entered the common room, he didn't care
that he was wearing the dopiest grin on his face and that other students were
sniggering at him.
He walked all the way up to his dormitory with that stupid expression on his
face, and completely forgot about his tiff with Remus until he opened the door
and stepped in.
He was greeted with the sight of James and Peter crowding around Remus, who was
shaking. Was he crying? Sirius bit his lip and rolled his eyes. Why should he
care anyway? They weren't friends anymore, and Remus brought it upon himself
anyway.
Sirius made his way towards his bed and flopped down on it, lounging back
against the pillow and drawing the curtain. His grin returned as he recalled
what had happened with Regulus, and suddenly a whole new rush of memories
flowed into his mind.
Their first kiss. It was so unexpectedly perfect, he recalled. It had been the
start of such a whirlwind of emotions and stress, but he wouldn't change it for
the world.
Then there was that one time in the corridor when they had shared a much more
passionate kiss, and Sirius realised that being with his brother was actually
pretty exciting.
When Sirius had been in the hospital wing and Regulus had told him he loved him
for the first time. That was one memory that couldn't ever be wiped from his
mind, for two reasons. One; it was a special moment for him. Two; it was a
devastating one. That had been the night that Remus had seen them together.
Sirius hastily pushed it from his mind.
The time where they snuck away to the Room of Requirement was the most
spectacular, magical memory he could remember. Everything had been perfect, and
he desperately wanted another encounter like that with Regulus.
And then there were all those other times where they would sneak away and have
private conversations and kisses, and it felt as thought it was only the two of
them and nobody else.
Sirius wondered how many more amazing memories would be created after tonight,
and he also wondered how many hurtful memories would be created. It wasn't like
there wasn't a balance of good:bad memories.
Their first kiss resulted in him cheating on Remus. Their sneaky kisses in the
corridor led to him feeling even guiltier about cheating on his boyfriend. The
first time Regulus told him he loved him resulted in Remus witnessing it. When
they were in the Room of Requirement, he lost all of his friends. When Remus
finally forgave him, Regulus broke up with him. Now that Regulus was back with
him again, Remus had vowed never to talk to him again.
The ratio was even. If something good were to happen now, he knew something bad
would happen too. He sighed, his grin fading a little at the realisation.
"Sirius?" asked James, pulling open his curtains. "Silencio," he muttered,
creating a silent pocket in the room, where only they could hear one another.
"Yeah?" replied Sirius, sitting up in his bed. James looked up at the roof, and
sighed.
"He's really upset," he said, not having to refer to who he was talking about.
Sirius knew he was talking about Remus.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" asked Sirius. "He told me he wants
nothing to do with me. He keeps snapping at me for the smallest things. I'm
sorry, but I tried my hardest but he just doesn't want to forgive me."
"Make more of an effort," said James bluntly. "Even if he doesn't want you to.
When he's in the library, just follow him and talk to him for a while. Or when
he's sitting alone in class, go and sit next to him. He's just so distraught
over everything. He doesn't know what he's doing and he needs a friend like
you. You and Remus were always closer than any of us, even before you were
together. You had a very special friendship. Get it back."
"What if he pushes me away?" questioned Sirius.
"Don't let him push you away," James replied. "I know you don't want to be with
him, but let him know that you still want to be friends with him."
"I'll give it a go," mumbled Sirius, doubtful that it would work. James smiled,
and punched his friend in the arm.
"Great! You see, this is why best friends shouldn't go out with each other," he
said. Sirius laughed and nodded.
"I know," he said. "And guess what?"
"What?" asked James in interest.
"I'm back with Reg now," Sirius said with a grin. He couldn't help himself from
blurting it out but he wanted to scream it to the whole world. He was so happy.
James looked shocked but then his face relaxed into a smile.
"That's good," he said. "Just... don't let him hurt you again."
"He won't."
"How do you know that?" asked James in concern as he looked at Sirius with an
odd expression.
"I just know. It'll be fine," replied Sirius, smiling and internally kicking
himself because he knew that whenever he said things like that, the opposite
usually happened.
***** Friends *****
Chapter by Obsession137
It was Sunday morning and Sirius woke up, yawning and sitting up in his bed. He
peered around the room through sleepy eyes and saw two empty beds.
"Hey," said Peter, smiling slightly at Sirius from the bed opposite. Sirius
stood up and stretched.
"Hi," he replied, heading to the bathroom.
"Sirius wait," said Peter uncertainly. Sirius stopped in his tracks and turned
around. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what I said to you
yesterday-"
"- It's fine," Sirius answered, smiling. Peter didn't look convinced.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "What I said really wasn't nice..."
"But it was true," Sirius said, moving over to sit with Peter. "I was a little
out of it, wasn't I? I think if it had gone on any longer, I would have had a
complete meltdown, and I didn't even listen to your advice..."
"It was that bad?" Peter gasped, looking at Sirius with worry in his eyes.
Sirius nodded, feeling depressed even from the memories of how he was feeling
yesterday.
"You don't even know half of the stuff that was going through my head," he
muttered, sagging a little.
Peter bit his lip and leaned forward to hug Sirius awkwardly. Peter never
hugged anyone unless he really felt it was necessary. Sirius felt a rush of
affection for his friend.
"But you're OK now?" Peter asked him as they pulled apart. Sirius let out a
breath and nodded, smiling.
"I'm good," he replied, his smile growing larger.
"Why the sudden change?" asked Peter.
"I'm... I got back together with Regulus," Sirius said, grinning. He couldn't
help it – he was just so happy. Peter laughed.
"Your life is like a soap opera!" he said, shaking his head. Sirius stared at
him blankly.
"A what?"
"A soap opera. Oh, you wizards suck. A soap opera is a TV show that follows the
life of normal Muggles, but it's usually full of drama," said Peter, with a
small smile. "Just like your life."
"A TV? That's the box thing that they have, right? It plays photographs with
words?" Sirius asked, a little confused. Peter couldn't stop himself from
laughing.
"Yes, that's a TV," he answered, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulders. "You
really should have taken Muggle Studies, mate."
"Yeah, I know," nodded Sirius, laughing a little. "So when did James leave?"
"About half an hour ago, with Remus."
"Any idea where they went?" he asked. Peter shrugged.
"They didn't tell me. I think Remus just wanted to get away from... er... you."
"Oh," said Sirius, looking down. "Well, I'm going to get ready and go down for
breakfast. Wait up for me?"
"Sure," said Peter.
===============================================================================
"So will you fix it with Remus, then?" Peter asked through a mouthful of food
at breakfast. Sirius scrunched up his nose.
"That's gross, Pete. I can see all your food..."
Peter swallowed and rolled his eyes. "Well?"
"I don't really see why I should," Sirius said. "He brought it on himself..."
"But he's so upset!" said Peter.
"His fault," Sirius said simply, waving his hand dismissively. Peter's mouth
opened exasperatedly.
"He's your friend!"
"He was my friend. Look, if I had it my way, we'd be friends. How it is, Remus
decided that he didn't want anything to do with me. What can I do about it?"
Sirius asked, sighing. "I can't change his mind."
"Yes you can!" Peter said, smiling. "He listens to you more than he listens to
us! He always gives in when it's you! Just do something nice for him... he
probably won't talk to you straight away, but give it time. If you leave it
like this, you'll lose him forever, and do you really want that?"
"Of course not," mumbled Sirius, staring down. "I don't want to lose him."
"Then at least try to fix it," Peter said. Sirius smiled.
"I was speaking to James about this very thing last night. I told him I'd try,
and I'll tell you the same. If you both think I can do it, then maybe I can..."
"Good," said Peter, taking a gulp of his pumpkin juice. He was interrupted by a
girlish squeal, almost spitting his juice out all over the table. He turned to
look for the source of the sound.
"That was so sweet!" Mary McDonald said, staring at Peter with fascination.
"You're so sweet!"
"Huh?" he asked blankly. Mary shifted towards him and smiled up at him.
"That was very thoughtful of you, Peter. I think you give wonderful advice,"
she said, her eyes boring right into Peter's.
Sirius smiled when Peter's face lit up at the comment. "He's great," he said to
Mary. "A great friend."
"He is?" Mary asked in interest. Sirius winked at Peter and walked off, leaving
him blushing furiously next to Mary.
===============================================================================
He made his way up to the Gryffindor Common Room, where he sat down by the fire
and waited. Surely Remus would walk in soon? He needed to fix it...
And not just for him and Remus, but for James and Peter too. They had both got
sucked into this horrible mess, and Sirius didn't want them to have to pick
sides. Something had to be done...
Ten minutes... fifteen minutes... twenty minutes... twenty two minutes...
Where was Remus? Sirius sighed.
Half an hour...
Sirius jumped up and smacked himself in the face for his stupidity. He ran
upstairs to the dormitory and pulled out his wand. "Accio Marauders Map."
A piece of parchment came flying towards him and he caught it. "I solemnly
swear that I am up to no good," he said, pointing his wand at the piece of
parchment. The words and drawings appeared suddenly, showing him the map of
Hogwarts that he and his friends had created a year previously.
His eyes scanned the map. Finally, after a lot of searching, he saw the small
dot labelled 'Remus Lupin', alone in the astronomy tower. Sirius felt a wave of
pity wash over him as he thought of Remus sitting all by himself.
"Mischief managed," he said, stuffing the map into his robe pocket and making
his way out of the room. As he was about to leave the common room, he was
stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"Where are you going?" James asked him.
"I'm going to talk to Remus," he replied, and James nodded.
"Good luck."
"Thanks," muttered Sirius, smiling and leaving the common room.
The walk up to astronomy tower was very long and nerve-racking. Sirius didn't
have a clue what he wanted to say to Remus – their last encounter hadn't been
very friendly. He pushed it from his mind and decided he's just say whatever
came at the time.
As he came to the final stairs, he slowed down, walking quietly up to the room.
He peered around and walked towards him.
"Rem?" Sirius croaked, making Remus turn around swiftly, wiping the tears from
his face.
"W-w-what do you w-want?" he asked, trying to sound strong, but failing. Sirius
moved a little closer, so they were both staring over the top of the balcony.
"I just wanted to talk to you," said Sirius quietly.
"We talked yesterd-day," Remus replied, not looking at him. They stood in
silence for a minute.
"I messed up," said Sirius finally. "But so did you. We both did. I don't like
us not talking, Remus."
"N-n-neither do I! But it hurts more to be your friend and remember everything
that happened!" Remus blurted out, falling to the ground and putting his head
in his hands. Sirius dropped down next to him and put an arm around Remus'
shaking form.
"Remus, dont' push my arm away. You need it," said Sirius, as Remus tried.
"I d-don't need you," said Remus.
"Are you sure about that?" Sirius asked. Remus looked up and nodded. Sirius
sighed and spoke again. "Because I definitely need you."
"You don't need me," Remus sobbed. "You've been fine without me."
"Fine? I've been upset. Rem, nobody could lose somebody like you and
be fine about it."
Remus laughed. "No, they'd be over the moon about it."
"Don't talk like that," said Sirius seriously. "You're worth so much. Don't
think... Remus... please listen to me. I miss you like hell."
"I miss you too," whispered Remus. "I said I don't want anything to do with
you, but that's only because I'm scared."
"Scared?" asked Sirius.
"Scared of getting hurt again."
"I'll never hurt you again," promised Sirius. "I promise."
Remus looked into Sirius' eyes and looked away again quickly. "I wish you loved
me," he said hopelessly.
Sirius felt his heart break. He could see how much Remus loved him, and it
killed him not to be able to say 'I love you' back to him. "I do, Remus. As a
friend. Isn't that enough?"
"I j-just love you so m-m-much," said Remus sadly, looking at his hands. Sirius
couldn't help it. He pulled Remus in for a hug. It was the least he could do.
Remus had looked and sounded so upset, and Sirius felt like the most horrible
person ever. He couldn't just leave him sitting there like that. Remus cried
into his shoulder, and Sirius rubbed his back.
"I wish I could tell you I felt the same way," whispered Sirius. "But if I told
you that, I'd be lying. You wouldn't want me to lie, would you?"
Remus pulled out of the hug and shook his head. "Y-you. You're with h-h-
him again, aren't you?"
Sirius decided he'd better tell the truth. "Yes," he replied. Remus looked
hurt, but nodded.
"I thought you l-looked a b-b-bit happier," he said. "I'm not saying this b-
because I'm j-jealous, but I d-d-don't think he's good for you, Sirius."
"Why not?" Sirius asked.
"I just don't," said Remus. "It's your choice. I can't change that."
"Remus, you have to understand that I love him. Like you love me. I bet you
think I'm bad for you, but you still love me."
"That's true," Remus sighed, looking up at Sirius. "OK, fine. I'm sorry I was
so nasty to you the past couple of months. I was just so hurt and jealous and
angry. I shouldn't have acted that way. I'm sorry."
"Really?" asked Sirius in surprise. "I'm so sorry, too. I really messed
everything up."
"Yeah," Remus laughed a bit. "But... c-can I, you know? Just maybe... one more
k-kiss?"
"Remus, I don't know about-"
"Please," Remus begged, and Sirius bit his lip. He knew he shouldn't, but one
little kiss wouldn't hurt would it? He closed his eyes, and pulled Remus in for
a kiss.
Their lips were inches apart...
"No!" Sirius said, snapping his eyes open and backing away a bit. Remus opened
his eyes too and he looked as though he was trying to fight back tears.
Sirius just couldn't do it. One harmless kiss... as if that was what it was...
It had all started in the first place with a 'harmless kiss'. A kiss that led
to so many things, and Sirius couldn't risk that happening again. He needed to
learn from his mistakes.
"Remus," he said quietly. "I cheated on you in September with Regulus and
you've only just managed to forgive me. You're asking me to do the same thing
right now. You're asking me to cheat on him with you. I can't do it. I know how
much pain it causes people. I can't do that twice. It's a mistake I need to
learn from."
Remus blinked a tear from his eyes and finally nodded. "Y-y-you're right. I'm
sorry. I w-wasn't thinking."
"It's OK," said Sirius, putting his arm around Remus again. "It'll be fine."
Nothing else was said; they sat in silence, keeping each other warm up in the
astronomy tower for the rest of the day. Both upset about everything that had
happened over the past couple of months, but both happy that they were friends
again.
***** A Night To Remember *****
Chapter by Obsession137
Chapter Notes
     Warning: Explicit sexual content
There are moments in life that truly bring us to a stand-still, and we say to
ourselves, "Yeah, I knew this all along." Little details that we once never
noticed become more vibrant; intricacies and seemingly unimportant feelings
burst into bloom and bring us to life.
Our senses ignite and we just have the urge to touch, to feel, to share that
moment with another whom we hold dear to our hearts. This was one such moment,
as Sirius and Regulus were about to realise.
The two boys steeped in through the impressive arched doorway and blinked in
the sudden light. The glow was gentle and soft. It was also white, and this was
confusing.
"I thought sunlight was yellow." Sirius muttered, while holding a hand in front
of his face to shield off the bright rays.
"I don't think its sunlight." Regulus replied, and his voice was filled with
awe. Sirius lowered his hand and looked around the room.
"Holy…" he trailed off; unable to come up with any words to describe his
feelings, or what he thought of the room they were standing in.
The Room of Requirement – so named because of its ability to give the user
whatever sort of setting they desired – had transformed into the most breath-
taking of landscapes. It seemed to stretch on for miles, encompassing almost
all the criteria's of what Sirius's perfect night fantasy entailed.
In front of them was a paved pathway that was lined with roses and lilies. The
path led to a small white bridge that curved gently over a smoothly flowing
stream that had the clearest water Sirius had ever seen. The moonlight
reflected off the glistening waters, and the effect was simply astounding. The
path then continued on to a large white cabana that had red drapes waiting to
conceal whatever was going on inside.
Sirius blushed as he thought of all the things he'd like to do to Regulus in
that cabana. Regulus bounced excitedly on his toes beside Sirius.
"I say, it's a map, Siri!" Sirius frowned.
"What?'
"See how the path seems to lead to different places?" Regulus said, "Well the
'X' behind each place probably means that we can't go further without
completing whatever there is to be done at each stage. Sirius's cheeks flamed
even redder. Dear Merlin, the room was really acting out his fantasy. He hoped
Regulus would never figure out that this was his doing.
"This makes everything much more interesting." Regulus's voice dropped an
octave and Sirius felt his cock harden in response. "Don't you think we should
find out what the room has in store for us?" Sirius swallowed audibly and just
barely managed to nod. Regulus peeked up at him through lowered eyelids and
smiled. "Then come on, I want you, I need my brother to fuck me, to make love
to me, to make me scream."
'Holy shit,' Sirius thought. He was growing painfully hard, and if Regulus
didn't stop talking in that low sexy voice, or didn't stop looking at him like
that, he was going to blow his load before the game had even begun –
and that would be a crying shame.
He shook his head to clear in and managed to recollect himself in that space of
time. He closed his eyes briefly, and when he re-opened them, he shocked
Regulus to his core with the most downright fucking amazing smoldering look
ever.
"Before we begin, I have some rules." Sirius said; the dominance in his voice
was overwhelming. Regulus shuddered by the mere strength of it. He could feel
his submission rising with every word Sirius spoke."From now on, I am not
Sirius. You may only refer to me as Master or brother." Regulus nodded eagerly.
His cock started to twitch in anticipation. "You will obey all my commands,"
Sirius continued. "And you will not touch yourself unless I say so." Regulus
closed his eyes and whimpered. He was so fucking hard by now and Sirius hadn't
even touched him. This was insane.
'He's going to blow my mind tonight,' he thought, and shivered. Sirius noticed
and smirked. He reached out and took Regulus by the hand. Dragging him close to
his body, he leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Tonight you're all mine,
Slave. Tonight you'll do everything to please your Master, and if you're a good
boy I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk in a straight line
tomorrow." Regulus squirmed as his erection pressed against the confines of his
pants.
"Please, Sirius." He gasped. "Let's start." Sirius released him and stepped
away, folding his arms across his chest as he did.
"Breaking the rules already, Slave? You're a bad boy. I ought to punish you."
Regulus looked at him with wide eyes, and Sirius could see that his pupils were
completely blown-out.
"Yes, shit, fuck, Master I'm such a bad boy. Punish me Master."
'Damn it to hell.' Sirius thought. Regulus looked absolutely fuckable. Without
further ado, he grabbed Regulus's hand and dragged him down the path and over
the bridge, not even taking time to appreciate the flowers or beautiful
landscape where bunnies and other night creatures were wandering. He hasted up
to the cabana and roughly pulled the drapes aside.
Regulus groaned at the sight that greeted them, and Sirius's mouth went
dry. 'Hot damn.' The Cabana was larger than it looked and fully equipped for
bondage foreplay. Sirius silently led Regulus to the middle of the room where a
large king sized bed stood, and released his hand. The drapes had swung shut,
completely blocking out all forms of light from the outside. A gentle red
florescent light was beaming down on them from above.
"Strip." Sirius said, turning to face his brother and already undressing him
with his eyes. Regulus smirked and slowly began to remove his clothes.
"Slower." Sirius breathed. He reached down and palmed himself through his
trousers. Regulus whimpered, he wanted to get on with it already! But he had to
obey his Master, so he slowed down. Sirius's hungry eyes roamed over his body
and the taller boy groaned deep in his throat.
"Please, Master." Regulus whined, watching Sirius touch himself. "Allow your
Slave to do that for you." Sirius's eyes rolled back in their sockets. He
surged forwards and practically tore the rest of Regulus's clothes off.
"Down," he whispered, placing his hands on Reg's shoulders and pushing. Regulus
obediently sunk to his feet. "Good boy." Sirius murmured. Regulus turned red at
the praise. He was feeling very pleased with himself. Sirius grabbed him by the
hair and tilted his head back.
"Suck me, Slave." he commanded. "But don't make me cum." Regulus sighed happily
and reached out to undo Sirius's trousers. He pulled them down to his ankles
and Sirius stepped out of them. Reg grinned at the bobbing erection in front of
him. Sirius had gone commando, how fitting. He wrapped his hand around it and
Sirius grunted. Regulus took his time playing with his brother's cock until
Sirius had had enough. He grabbed his dick and forced it into Regulus's hot,
waiting mouth.
"Fuck that's hot." Sirius gasped. Regulus relaxed his throat and Sirius kept
pushing until he hit the back. "Damn, fucking hell." Sirius swore. Regulus
hummed happily around his cock and Sirius shivered. He tightened his grip on
Reg's hair and gently started moving his head, while moving his own hips too.
Regulus dutifully continued to suck him while Sirius fucked his mouth. He was
so hard just from the thought of being a hole for Sirius to use and abuse. His
rock hard cock twitched making a wet slapping noise as it jerked on and off his
stomach.
Regulus reached down to touch himself. He'd barely wrapped his fingers around
himself before Sirius stepped back and glared at him.
"What were the rules, Slave?" Regulus blushed.
"I'm sorry, Master." Sirius frowned.
"Oh no, you're not. Not yet." Regulus groaned at his tone. He watched with
slightly panicked eyes as Sirius lazily drifted towards the bed and flopped
onto it. "You disobeyed the rules, beautiful." Sirius said. He began stroking
himself and Regulus moaned at the sight.
"No, Master. That's my job. I'm sorry, I won't misbehave anymore." Sirius
stroked himself harder and panted.
"Were you a bad boy?" Regulus squirmed.
"Yes, Master, I'm sorry." Sirius swiped his thumb over the head of his dick and
moaned. He lay back on the sheets and continued to pump his cock. Regulus
whimpered in displeasure. "I'm truly sorry, Master! Please let me help you."
Sirius could only grunt in reply. He was getting off just on the sheer
dominance he was exerting over Reg. His brother's sexy way of begging wasn't
helping much either. He jerked as his orgasm started to rise. Regulus was
having a mini panic attack. "Please, Master! That's my job!" Sirius sighed and
paused in his ministrations.
"Come finish what you started, Slave." Regulus released a happy cry and
scuttled over to the bed, sinking his mouth down around Sirius's cock without
question. "If you disobey me again the punishment won't be so lax." Sirius
panted. He was trying to sound stern, but damn his brother had a fucking
talented mouth. "You should suck cock for a living." Sirius groaned.
"Seriously, do you study this shit?" Regulus hummed and bobbed his head up and
down faster on the hard cock in his mouth.
He swiped his tongue over the tip and collected the precum there, before
sinking down once more, drawing random patterns with his tongue as he went. He
loved this feeling; the feeling of a hot, thick, heavy cock in his mouth – and
the way it jerked when he sucked it just right. Sirius was fisting the bed
sheets in his hand by now. He could feel the fire in his stomach getting
hotter, and knew he was near completion.
Regulus deep-throated Sirius's cock until his nose was buried in the patch of
dark hair at the base. He inhaled deeply and shuddered. Sirius's scent was
addicting and electrifying. He smelt like sweat and sex and just Sirius. God it
was fucking amazing. He felt Sirius's thighs begin to shake and knew he was
near. He hollowed his cheeks and swallowed, and Sirius came down his throat
with a shout.
"Drink every drop." Sirius commanded; his voice strained with the force of his
orgasm. He resisted the urge to flail like a madman as white lights danced
across his vision. It was one of the best orgasms he'd ever had. Regulus
obediently did as he was told, and licked his brother's softening cock clean
once he was done.
Sirius lay absolutely still and tried to recover, ignoring the feel of Reg's
tongue on his dick, lest he get hard again too soon. Regulus ran his tongue
over the head of Siri's cock and groaned deep in his throat. The sound went
right to Sirius's groin and his dick began twitching to life once more.
'Seriously,' Sirius asked his horny body. 'You're ready for round two
already?' Apparently he was. Sirius sat up swiftly and grabbed Reg by his hair.
"Get on the bed, Beautiful." He instructed. Regulus nodded and scrambled up the
side of the large bed, and scooted to the middle. "Lie on your back." Sirius
slid off the bed and padded over to the nearby dresser. The items lying on top
of it were very interesting and would certainly prove useful as the foreplay
went on. Sirius opened the dresser drawers and was again pleased with his
finds. He took six items back to the bed with him and laid them out in a neat
line.
He glanced up and nearly melted at the sight before him. Regulus was on his
back and his legs were spread impossibly wide and bent at the knee. Sirius
could see everything and hot damn that was a picture that surpassed the Mona
Lisa.
"So hot," Sirius moaned. He picked up a pair of black fuzzy handcuffs and
walked to the top of the bed. "Hands." He said simply. Regulus readily
complied, raising his arms above his head and shivering when Sirius slipped the
cuffs on, and chained them to the headboard. "Further punishment," Sirius
smirked. "Since you're incapable of following rules."
Regulus looked at him with wide eyes and fully blown out pupils; Sirius almost
took pity on the poor dear. He hadn't even blown his first load yet.
"Time to let me take care of you, beautiful." Sirius purred. He picked up the
thin leather straps he'd brought with him, and tied Reg's ankles to the bed.
"Jolly convenient these holes are." He muttered to himself – talking about the
holes drilled into the metal bed frame.
"Master," Regulus whined. "I'm so hot, so hard. Please do something, anything."
Sirius smirked as he straightened up and climbed onto the bed to kneel between
Reg's knees.
"You will not come until I say so, Beautiful." He commanded. His eyes rolled
back in his head slightly when he saw the harsh red colour of his brother's
impressively rock hard cock. "Such a pretty cock." He murmured. He reached out
and curled his fingers around it. Regulus arched slightly and moaned loudly.
'He's so fucking responsive,' Sirius thought with a shudder. The noises were
such a turn on. Dear Merlin. Sweat began to break out across Reg's forehead as
Sirius started pumping his hand up and down his length.
"Master, please!" Regulus cried. He was so hard, so ready for release. He'd
been holding it ever since he started giving Sirius his blow job and the need
to shoot his load was becoming excruciatingly pressing.
"You may not come, Beautiful." Sirius deadpanned, and moved his fist faster,
twisting his wrist at exactly the right times, and making Regulus scream and
howl in a mix of pain and pleasure.
"Oh god, so good, fuck so good." Regulus moaned. "I need to cum, Master."
"No."
"Please!" Regulus wailed. Sirius smirked and leaned down, sinking his mouth
around Reg's cock with no warning. Regulus tried, he really did try to obey the
rules. Sirius's mouth was just too fucking hot and amazing though. He came with
a shriek, jerking off the bed, his limbs moving on their own accord – as best
they could under their restraints – as he flailed his way through his mind-
blowing orgasm. He flopped back onto the bed a good minute later, chest heaving
as he gasped for breath. His eyes were dazed and unfocused as Sirius leaned
back with a grimace.
"You can't obey for shit, can you, Reg?" Regulus made a noncommittal noise."No
matter; more opportunities for me to punish you." Sirius drawled. Regulus's
eyes glazed over even more at the implications. He watched with hooded eyes as
Sirius picked up another item and grinned wickedly. "What do you think,
beautiful?" Regulus groaned.
"I think my ass is going to die tonight." He muttered.
"I think you're right."
===============================================================================
Sirius had not been kidding. The item he had in his hand was a vibrator, and
Regulus was currently a writhing, sweaty mess.
"Master," Regulus gasped. "Please…I…oh Merlin."
"What do you want, Beautiful?" Sirius demanded.
"M-more," Reg panted. "Higher setting." Sirius smirked and complied, flipping
the vibrator switch to Seven. Reg's body jerked and he screamed. Sirius quickly
leaned down and swallowed the sound with his lips. Regulus moaned into his
mouth and sloppily pushed his tongue out to meet Siri's. Both boys groaned at
the sensation of their slick, wet appendages sliding together.
Sirius wickedly upped the vibrator setting to nine, relishing in the way his
brother's body jerked in response. Regulus bit down on Sirius's lower lip hard
enough to draw blood. Sirius wasn't aware that he had a biting fetish, but the
shot of desire that ran through him told him he did indeed. He leaned back and
watched his brother suffer through the delicious torture he was providing, for
a few more minutes.
"N-need t-to cum…" Regulus panted.
"You may not cum until I say so." Sirius smirked. Regulus groaned helplessly.
"Please Master!"
"No."
"Please!"
"No."
"Master, please!" Reg screeched.
Sirius set the vibrator to ten.
Regulus came with an explosive grunt, his eyes practically popping out of his
head from the force. Sirius laughed inwardly. His brother simply could not obey
rules He waited patently for Regulus to regain his breath – his own neglected
erection was screaming for some attention, but he wanted to move on to the next
stage before relieving himself.
Finally Reg's breath evened out and he glanced up at this brother with a timid
stare. "Um…I'm sorry that I disobeyed, Master." He looked so adorably peeking
up from under his eyelashes like that, that Sirius couldn't find the strength
to berate him.
"Yes, well." Sirius slid off the bed and glided over to the dresser. "I've
figured out how to deal with that." Regulus couldn't decide if he liked the
sinister tone of his brother's voice, or not.
"What's your plan, Master?" he asked. Sirius opened up the dresser once more
and scouted through the items there, deliberately ignoring Regulus for the
moment. Finally he found what he wanted and dragged it out.
"You'll see soon enough, love." Sirius snapped his fingers and the restraints
holding Reg down fell away. "Get up, we're moving on."
"Already?" Regulus slowly moved off the bed and stood in all his gorgeous
nakedness. Sirius ran his eyes up and down his brother's body until the latter
boys cheeks turned a ripe tomato red. "See something you like?" Reg asked
playfully. His cheeks were still flushed, but there was a sneaky look in his
eyes that told Sirius it wasn't out of embarrassment.
"We've done all we need to do here." Sirius replied. If the room was following
his fantasy after all, then he already knew what the second stage entailed. He
wondered when Regulus would find out that he was controlling the room's
appearance.
"I just want to be fucked." Regulus said with a pout. Sirius's dick twitched.
"You can't just say things like that," he growled, stalking towards Reg with
purpose. Goddamn, his brother had a filthy mouth and it never failed to turn
him on. He dropped the item he'd previously picked up, so that he could grab
Regulus's hips with bruising force. Their lips met in a desperate kiss. Loud,
wet, smacking sounds filled the air as they savagely made out without a care in
the world. Sirius reached down with one hand to grab their erections and rub
them together. Regulus moaned loudly and started to rut against him so hard
that their dicks clashed like swords.
"God, fuck." Sirius gasped. He moved his hands to grab Reg's ass and kneaded
the mounds of flesh until Reg was whining and begging for more.
"Please, Master, please…I need more…want you…ugh." Reg breathed against his
lips. Sirius smirked and drew Reg's lower lip into his mouth. He nibbled on the
appendage knowing that the action would drive his brother crazy. Forgetting
about the whole 'moving to the next stage' idea, Sirius slid a finger down the
crack of Reg's ass and circled his hole. Regulus keened loudly and rubbed
against him with more force.
"Gonna enter you dry." Sirius mumbled.
"Don't care." Regulus panted back. Sirius chuckled inwardly; of course his
brother didn't care. He had no shame. Without any warning, Sirius roughly slid
his finger into Regulus's quivering, waiting hole.
"Ohhhhhhh." Regulus dropped his head against Sirius's shoulder and bit down on
his collarbone. Sirius searched around intently for Reg's sweet spot, he was
certain – Regulus screamed – yeah he'd found it. "Right there, Master, right
there!" Regulus cried. Sirius pumped his finger in and out of his brother's
tight hole without any mercy.
"This is nothing compared to what my cock will feel like in you." Sirius
growled. "When I take you, Reg, I'm going to take you good."
"Yes Master."
"Render you completely and utterly immobile."
"God yessssssss."
"Fuck you until you can't remember your name." Sirius savagely twisted his hand
and Regulus screamed again. They were now rutting against each other so hard it
was almost impossible to stand straight, how they managed to stay upright was
beyond comprehension. Their sweat slicked bodies slid fluidly against one
another. Both boys were gasping harshly, their chest heaving and brushing
together at an erratic pace.
"So close." Regulus grunted.
"So cum," Sirius commanded. Regulus didn't have to be told twice. His cum came
out in jets, splattering both their chests. Some even made it's way to Sirius
chin. This almost made him lose it, but what really did him in was Regulus
reaching down to pump his cock, while muttering about how amazing such a big
heavy dick was going to feel in his ass.
Sirius didn't know how it happened. One moment he was standing upright, and the
next he was staring at the ceiling. A worried Reg moved to hover over him,
blocking the red florescent light from view.
"I think you blacked out for a minute." He stated unhelpfully.
"I guess it's a good thing that I cum so hard." Sirius muttered. "Says good
things about our sexual endeavours." Regulus grinned and lay down beside him.
Too winded to move, both boys stayed absolutely still for the next five minutes
and simply enjoyed the lingering bliss of their mind-blowing orgasms.
The red florescent light started to fade, along with the roof of the cabana.
Seconds later, the midnight sky was gazing down upon the boys and the pale
light of the moon light up the room.
"Perfect timing." Reg yawned. Sirius poked him in the side.
"Don't you go falling asleep; the night is still young."
"I'm wide awake." Regulus replied. He could feel himself getting slightly
turned on again by thoughts of what was to come. He couldn't wait for Sirius to
take him fully, but for now, relaxing in the afterglow of their foreplay was
just as good. He closed his eyes with a contented sigh.
Unbeknownst to Reg, Sirius has rolled over and was gazing at him silently, a
small smile tugging on his lips. God his brother was beautiful. Beautiful and
all his; he loved him so much.
His eyes roamed over Reg's naked body taking in all his perfections, and the
imperfections that still added up to make him perfect. His eyes were closed,
and his long lashes rested gently in the hollows beneath his eyes. The gentle
moonlight glinted off them, giving off the illusion of them being tinted
silver.
Sirius's eyes followed the strong jut of Regulus's jaw and trailed down his
slender pale neck. He admired the slope it made as it melded into the curve of
his arm. He loved moments like this; moments where he could just lie and take
in the sheer awesomeness that was his brother.
Sirius couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face, nor could he
control the way his heart constricted tightly in his chest. He reached out and
pulled Reg closer to press a light kiss to the top of his brother's head.
Regulus mumbled something inaudible and rolled over to loop his arm around
Sirius's waist.
Sirius grinned. He felt really and truly happy for the first time in a long
time. He had the perfect boyfriend and brother, and was getting on well at
school. He didn't have a lot of friends, but the few he did have had proven
themselves to truly be worthy of the title.
Sirius closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Reg's breathing against his
body. It was very soothing, almost like a lullaby. The occasional sound of
night creatures drifted in through the now open ceiling, but other than that,
everything was silent and peaceful.
Sirius loved just sleeping next to Reg –granted they weren't really sleeping,
but it was close enough – loved when it wasn't just about sex. They hadn't
really done anything the night before, they had simply laid together, talking
and laughing and being Sirius and Reg. It always made his heart soar when he
realised that his relationship with Regulus was more than simply a roll in the
hay and then a bunch of 'in-between' things.
Sirius loved moments like this, moments that mirrored the rest of their lives
together. He was certain that he and Reg would be together forever. Sure they
were going to have tons of problems, they were brothers after all. Their
relationship was taboo on so many levels. But love was love, right? He loved
Reg, he really did. He loved him with all his heart, so much, that sometimes he
felt like he'd spontaneously combust from the simple joy he got from sharing
his life with him. He wasn't letting Reg go, not ever and he knew Reg felt the
same. At the beginning, when they were just starting out, he'd never dreamed
that'd they'd ever make it this far. Yet here they were. Still together and in
love six months later.
Sometimes Sirius wondered what Reg saw in him. His brother was amazing.
Gorgeous yes, talented yes, smart and even tempered – why on earth did he want
someone like Sirius? The mere fact usually astounded the latter. He wasn't
anything special. He was just normal – just Sirius. He had a horrible temper at
times and he was stubborn to the core. He wasn't as hot as Reg – then again who
was – he was just…a guy who could pass as okay looking.
He had his good points, but he had a lot of bad ones, too. He had learned,
however, that sometimes, bright lights complimented duller ones, helped them,
guided them and provided them with the energy they needed to stay bright.
Regulus complimented him in every way and he liked to think that he in turn
complimented Reg. They evened each other out, like a balance board. His
imperfections covered up Reg's own and made him shine, and Reg's imperfections
melted into his and together they simply made a happy, loving couple…right?
Sirius was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Reg's eyes
opening. Regulus stared at Sirius quietly. He knew all of his brother's facial
expressions. The one he was currently wearing was his; 'I'm overthinking things
again' face.
Sirius jolted when he felt a hand slipping in to his.
"You're thinking too much again," Reg whispered. Sirius sighed.
"I'm not…I'm just…reminiscing."
"About?" Regulus shifted closer and Sirius could feel his breath puffing
against his face.
"About us," Sirius murmured. "About how far we've come." Regulus smiled
lightly.
"We certainly have come a long way." He agreed. He squirmed happily when Sirius
reached out and pushed a lock of his dark hair, off his face.
"I love you." Sirius said suddenly. He grinned goofily after that because he
absolutely loved how those words could simply pop out of his mouth without any
warning, how they took him by surprise as much as they did Reg.
"I love you too." Regulus beamed. He moved in to kiss Sirius sweetly. Their
tongues rolled together lazily for several minutes, before things started
moving along. Sirius crawled on top of Reg and attacked his mouth with renewed
vigour. Regulus finally broke away for air with a small laugh.
"Oh I see, you tell me you love me just to amp me up so I'll be more willing to
let you fuck me, huh."
"Oh gosh, I can't believe I was so transparent." Sirius teased. "I've been
ousted." Regulus snorted.
"You've been out for quite some time mister."
"I have haven't I?" Sirius smirked. He leaned down once more and kissed Reg
with such passion, the poor boy forgot what they had been talking about.
"Master…" Regulus breathed when they broke once more. And just like that, the
air shifted. It became rushed and desperate once more, with a touch of almost
palpable desire. "God I'm getting hard way too fast." Reg mumbled. His erection
was pressing right into Siri's thigh. Sirius ground down on him with a smug
smile.
"Sorry, it's not my fault I'm so hot."
"It's downright unfair." Regulus lamented. "I don't stand a chance, woe is me."
Sirius laughed and rolled off him. "Get up, we're moving on definitely this
time. We can't stay stuck in this cabana all night."
"Fine, fine." Regulus scrambled up, his erection bobbing happily. "I rather
like this place though."
"Better things are coming." Sirius replied distractedly as he searched about
for the item he'd dropped earlier.
"As if you know." Regulus snorted, then he paused. His eyes grew wide in
realization. "Oh my Merlin…you actually do know, don't you? You planned this
whole thing! The room is playing out your fantasy!" Sirius found his item and
stood up sheepishly.
"Uh…sort of…yes…"
"You sly dog." Regulus grinned.
"Literally." Sirius added. Regulus lowered his eyes with a smile.
"So…what are your other plans Master? I want to find out. I really can't wait
for your big, thick cock to be inside me. Tell me you're going to fuck me in
the next stage."
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Sirius closed his eyes and tried hard not to
moan. He didn't want Reg to know just how much his words were turning him on, a
Master had to be in control at all times after all. But hot DAMN, his brother
knew how to talk dirty and he knew exactly when and how to use that talent.
"I'll fuck you when I'm ready." Sirius replied, when he'd finally regained
control of his voice. Regulus whined deep in his throat.
"Master…" Sirius groaned.
"Fuck, Reg. Say that again."
"Master," Reg purred. Sirius's eyes grew wide and he groaned.
"That's it, we're moving on." He lunged forward and grabbed Reg's arm before
tugging him out the side of the cabana. The red drapes moved to reveal a new
setting. Instead of the night sky and fairytale like topography, they were
greeted with a perfectly equipped bondage room that was a blend of both club
and fetish. Strobe lights flashed from the ceiling and long thick chains hung
from the roof.
"Oh fuck…" Regulus's dick sprang up without any physical stimulation. "This is
so hot." He moaned.
"Glad you like my plans." Sirius smirked. He gestured for Reg to stand directly
under a pair of hanging ropes that had handcuffs at the end. Regulus obediently
moved in place and held his hands in the air. Sirius swished his hand and the
cuffs magically slid around Reg's wrists. Two cuffs then came up out of the
floor and locked themselves around his ankles.
"Can you move?" Sirius asked.
"No." Reg shivered. He had no idea why being bound turned him on so much. He
loved it though – loved the feeling of being vulnerable and unable to move. He
was at Sirius's mercy and nothing was hotter than that.
"Good." Sirius held up his hand and opened his fist that had been closed
tightly to conceal the majority of the object in it. It was a cock ring.
Regulus groaned. He was in so much trouble…Sirius was going to torture him.
"Since previous experimentation has shown you simply can't follow rules, we're
going to be using this bad boy to keep your…weather at bay…" he grinned when he
noticed that Reg's pupils were completely blown out.
"That turns you on, doesn't it? You like being punished."
"Yes, Master. I've been a bad boy, punish me please." Reg moaned. Waves of
pleasure were starting to roll through Sirius's body. Reg's words, his voice,
god he was so damn hot. He finally gave in to his feelings and rushed forward
to kiss his brother, his hand tangling in his hair.
He said a lube spell in his mind and rubbed his fingers together gently when
the wet liquid coated them. Reaching down, he wrapped his hand around Reg's
cock and smirked when his brother hissed.
"Sorry," he fibbed. He wasn't sorry at all.
"It's cold." Reg gasped against his lips.
"I'll use you to warm it up." Sirius murmured. He continued to stroke Reg
slowly, getting him all slicked up. He said the lube spell one more time so
that his other hand was thickly coated, then lowered it to slick himself up. He
groaned into Reg's mouth as he jerked them both off. He broke the kiss
momentarily, to utter words into Reg's ear.
"Move your hips, Beautiful."
Reg stammered nonsensically, then obliged, his hips rose and jutted out to meet
Siri's, and then fell back down. The friction spellbinding and the lube only
cause their dicks to slide together easier, which was even better than before.
Reg was moaning loudly and shamelessly. His hands came up and knotted in Siri's
hair. He pulled on it roughly and Sirius growled in response. He fucking loved
it, when Reg pulled his hair. Hair pulling drove him absolutely nuts. He could
feel Reg's heart beating against his chest. It was beating so fast that he
expected Reg to pass out at any moment. He wrapped his arms around his brother
and held him close, so they could get even better friction as their orgasms
continued to build. Reg's fingers were digging into his back, cutting, marking
him. He didn't care.
When Reg started to jerk sloppily against him, Sirius knew he was close, and
just like that – he moved away. Regulus's face was priceless, and he would have
laughed had he not been in a similar predicament; insanely hard and frustrated
at the loss.
"You're wearing a cock ring anyways." Sirius panted. "You can't cum yet so
don't look so distraught."
"But the friction." Reg whined. His body was flushed a deep shade of red and
beads of sweat were rolling down his cheeks. He looked absolutely fuckable,
man, absolutely fuckable.
Sirius waved his hand and the cuffs fell away. Regulus stumbled forward and
Sirius caught him.
"What are we doing now?" Regulus asked dazedly. His lips trembled slightly as
he spoke. He was so hard that it was almost painful. He couldn't wait to cum,
but then again he also couldn't wait to see what else Sirius had up his sleeve.
It was slow torture and Reg was loving it.
"I'm not doing anything." Sirius grinned evilly. "You'll sure be doing a lot
though, love."His tone made Reg's dick twitch again. Sirius guided a
disoriented Regulus to a comfy looking nook and turned the boy around to face
him. "Don't move." Sirius instructed. He moved away to a nearby cupboard and
opened it. Regulus could hear him searching about for something but he didn't
bother to turn his head and look. He'd been given an order and he intended to
follow it…though maybe…if he disobeyed he could get Sirius to draw out his
punishment. The thought made him groan loudly. He was insatiable.
Sirius finally returned, and Regulus's eyes grew round.
Oh my fucking Merlin…
In his hands, Sirius held a long black dildo. It was wide and impossibly long
with a base at the bottom to keep it upright. Holy fuck. Sirius placed the
dildo on the floor and lubed it up.
"Down on your knees slave." He commanded. Regulus slid down in silent
obedience. He couldn't take his eye off the dildo. Fucking hell, was he…was
Sirius going to…was he going to order him to-
"You'll prepare yourself and it'll depend on how well you do so to stop this
from hurting you. Either way, you will be sitting on it."
Well that answered his unspoken question. Good god…Regulus's eyes almost rolled
to the back of his head. Sirius was evil. Evil and deliciously awesome. He
moved towards the dildo and inspected it closer. He could take it…probably…
Sirius was sitting in a chair that had magically appeared – per his request on
the room for it. He spread his legs and lazily stroked his cock as he watched
his brother examine the sex toy. Regulus finally leaned back and muttered the
lube spell. His fingers were instantly coated in the thick liquid and he
reached down and between his legs to slide one into his opening.
His fingers felt strange inside of him, after going so long without having
touched himself. Sirius was the only one who got to touch him these days. He
hardy ever jerked off anymore. In fact, as embarrassing as it was to admit it,
he couldn't get off unless he was with Sirius anyways. His body belonged to
Sirius and as far as he was concerned, he had to ask permission before
pleasuring it. Once he got used to the slight sting, he added another finger,
stretching himself even further.
"I'm ready." Reg finally said. He was keening ever so softly as his fingers
found his prostate. He probed it lightly and felt a flash of pleasure. God he
couldn't wait for Sirius to actually use his dick and touch it. He'd go wild.
"Put it in yourself." Sirius said indolently. Reg crawled towards the dildo,
and hovered over it. For a moment he dithered, not sure if he could do it, but
then he looked up to meet Sirius's eyes who smiled encouragingly and he got his
confidence back. He positioned the head of the plastic at his opening, enjoying
the way the hard surface rubbed against the puckered flesh. Slowly, ever so
slowly, he slid down on the demanding shaft, gritting his teeth at the
onslaught of pain. Reg continued pushing the toy further inside of him until he
was almost at the base. He paused to gather his bearings, his hands shaking,
his body quivering from the strain.
"So long, so big." He groaned.
"You can take it." Sirius said. He was fisting himself more readily now.
Watching Reg on the dildo was a bigger turn on than he'd expected. The whole
point of it was to punish his slave really. Making him fuck himself on the toy
organ instead of getting the real deal. He was now thinking that it was more a
reward than anything. Reg was enjoying it far too much. Still, his brother was
weird. He seemed to enjoy being punished. It was probably a kink of his. Reg
moaned again and attempted to slide down even more.
Sirius noticed that he wasn't all the way down and reached out, placing his
hands on Reg's shoulders to aid him the rest of the way. Reg yelled words that
made no sense and reached up to hold Sirius's arms. The head of the toy rammed
into his prostate making him whine loudly. He cock was achingly hard, damn the
fucking cock ring. He was so close, so close…
Sirius understood Reg's unspoken plea when his brother looked him in the eye.
He needed a bit of help to get himself started. Obligingly he lifted his
brother the first time, aware that Reg was still getting used to the stretch.
Sirius took care to not lift him too high which would bring him off the toy,
only enough to let him feel the burn when gravity pushed him back down to the
ground. Once he had a good rhythm going on, Sirius released him and drifted
back to his chair to watch his sexy slave pleasure himself.
Reg moved leisurely but it felt amazing all the same. Now that the initial pain
was over, the burn of the toy rubbing against his inwards was completely
erotic. This position allowed the toy to reach dark depths he hadn't thought
possible and he was quickly discovering that riding someone, or something, was
one of his favourite positions.
Sirius groaned when Reg sat up on his knees, widening his legs so he could get
more leverage on his thrusts. This also gave Siri quite the view and he was
loving every moment of it. The look of rapture on Reg's face, the wanton cry he
let out spoke volumes of which gland he'd hit on that last thrust. Finally,
when Reg thought he was going to burst, Sirius moved to cup his cheek,
distracting him from his task.
"What do you want?" Sirius asked him. Reg had been a good boy so far. He'd
followed his Master's commands without complaint and fulfilled his punishment
as far as Sirius was glanced at Sirius's dick and licked his lips. He wanted
nothing more than to suck Siri off until he milked him of all his juices, while
Sirius simultaneously hand-fucked him with the dildo in his ass. Sirius
followed his gaze and smirked.
"You want to suck me off don't you?"
"Y-ye-ssssss," Reg grunted, as his latest thrust made the dildo hit his
prostate again. Goddamn that cock ring, damn it to hell. He could feel his tide
rising in his stomach and failing to complete because of that stupid, ungodly-
Sirius placed his cock in front of Reg's lips and Regulus immediately forgot
about his train of thought.
"This is what you want, Beautiful?" Sirius stroke his cock a few times for
emphasis, "What do you want me to do with it?"
Reg licked his lips one more time, "Place it in my mouth, Master. Face fuck me
into oblivion."
Well shit….what type of man would Sirius be to ignore a plea like that?
Sirius quickened his pumps, pleasuring himself until he started heavily leaking
fluid. He wiped a smear on the length of his finger and brought it up for Reg
to see. The semi-clear fluid glistened underneath the light of the room,
taunting his brother.
"Is this what you want, Reg; is it?" Sirius goaded.
"Master, pleaseeeeeeee," Reg's eyes rolled and he fucked himself down on the
dildo with gusto.
"Then come get it," Sirius said gleefully. He was such a fucking bastard and he
knew it.
Reg groaned, but complied, shuffling closer to Sirius and clenching his ass so
the dildo stayed inside of him. He situated himself kneeling between Siri's
open legs, and opened his mouth greedily to accept the offered finger. Reg
wrapped his lips around the digit and hungrily sucked it clean. His tongue
curled around the knuckle, slurping the extra saliva he'd created in the
process. Sirius shook with want. Regulus…he was just too much. How could one
person be so sexy, so amazing, so…everything.
Regulus hummed appreciatively around Siri's finger. His pre-cum tasted even
better than before and now that he'd had his fix, he couldn't get enough of it.
Reg whined in displeasure when Siri pulled his finger free, his lips arching
into a pout.
He was ignoring the tidal wave taking place in the pit of his stomach, in fear
of saying something inappropriate. He knew he was in no position to ask Sirius
to take the cock ring off, and if he did, he might end up wearing it longer.
God he just wanted to cum…
"Suck me, slave." Sirius commanded. Regulus was all too happy to comply. He
leaned forward and swallowed Siri's dick in one huge gulp, while grinding down
on the dildo once more. The unexpected friction that came with sliding down so
fast made Reg jerk, and as a result, the organ in his mouth was forced farther
down his throat. Breathing through his nose, he thrust back on the dildo
invading his ass while he trying not to choke on the assailant plowing his
mouth.
"Fuck yes," Sirius swore as Reg swirled his tongue around his inflamed flesh,
reminding Siri just how talented he was with his mouth. "God, that mouth.
You're such a natural at this. You need to suck cock for a living." Reg pulled
off just long enough to reply.
"Only your cock, Master." Then he was down again, sucking for all he was worth.
Reg vaguely wondered what their father would say if he were in the room. After
sputtering and nearly dying from a heart attack, he no doubt would have tried
to find a way to fire them both straight to hell right then and there. He'd
have been disgusted to learn just how good his son was at this… at how much he
loved sucking dick.
Sirius groaned when Reg relaxed his throat and hummed so that the vibrations
would travel. If he wasn't careful, he'd blow his load down his brother's
throat and that was a no go right now. He wanted to be in him before he came
again. They had to stop.
It was probably the single, most difficult thing Sirius had ever done in his
life. He pulled Reg off his cock; the latter's lips sliding off with a lewd
pop. He almost laughed at Reg's adorably confused face.
"Master?"
"Don't worry, love. You did nothing wrong." Sirius reassured him. "I just want
to replace that dildo" – he eyed Reg's ass that was still fucking the toy –
"with my cock." Reg stopped moving immediately. Hell yes, this is what he'd
been waiting for!
"Yes, Master. Merlin I've been waiting for this. Please fuck your slave,
Master. I need your cock!"
"Oh you'll get it." Sirius growled. He stalked away to a nearby bed and
assessed it. It was perfect, naturally. It had all the required holes in the
headboard for tying Reg down.
"Come here, Reg." Sirius's eyes were suddenly black and fiery. His whole
demeanour had changed. Reg could feel the dominance rolling off him in waves.
His submissive side instantly gave into it. He loved the feeling, loved being
dominated and told what to do. He could almost feel Reg's body growing hotter
and hotter with each passing second.
"Master..."
"Come here!"
Reg scrambled off the dildo, keeping his moan at the loss at bay, and fell to
his knees in front of Sirius. Sirius grabbed his hair and harshly pulled Reg's
head back. He stared into his eyes, smoldering him with his gaze.
"Who are you?"
"I am your slave."
"Who am I?"
"You are my master."
"Say it again."
"You are my master."
"Damn right I am," Sirius growled. "Who is your Master, slave!"
"You, you, only you!" Reg cried.
"Yes, me!" Sirius yelled. He reached down, pulled Reg to his feet and smashed
his mouth against his. His kisses were hot and demanding. Reg almost drowned in
the passion and desperate desire of them. Sirius turned and pushed Reg down on
the bed. Regulus fell back and immediately spread his legs, scouting up as well
so he could hold his hands up towards the headboard. Sirius waved his hand and
cuffs immediately bound his brother to the bed. He then bent Regulus's legs at
the knee and spread them. He spread them farther than he ever had before, until
Regulus cried out from the stretch; he then bound his ankles to the bed.
Immobile; just like Sirius had promised. Regulus groaned in frustration as his
cock jumped, only to protest against it's restraints. He was so sensitive that
every little move felt like too much. His orgasm had been kept at bay for ages
now. He was probably going to pass out when he was finally allowed to shoot it.
Sirius lay between Regulus's legs and inspected his hole in all its glory. He
gently reached out and swirled his finger around the pink, puckered
entrance. Mine, he thought. It's all mine. Reg is mine; he belongs to me. And
with that, he leaned forward to claim what was rightfully his.
Regulus had been lying quietly the entire time, staring at the ceiling and
flashing lights while trying to ignore the urgent need for release. He screamed
and almost flew off the bed (probably would have if not for the restraints)
when Sirius's tongue drew a long, wet line over his opening.
"Oh, oh ,ohoh, oh Melin…oh…oh ohoh," Reg babbled nonsensically. He literally
turned to putty as Sirius continued to lave his hole with his slick, wet
appendage. "Fuck, fuck, Master…so good." Regulus whined. Sirius slid his tongue
in as far as it could go, and Regulus thrashed madly. Sirius quickly swapped
his tongue with his fingers a few moments later.
Reg cried out as he felt two fingers slide inside him, followed by two more,
just seconds later. So fast, but he could take it. He was already stretched out
from the dildo anyways. Reg arched his hips and groaned. Sirius couldn't wait
any longer, he honestly couldn't. He'd been waiting on this for a long time
coming.
He quickly moved to line himself up with Reg's opening. Regulus gazed up at him
with blown out pupils.
"Please." He whimpered. He didn't have to ask twice.
Sirius slammed into Reg with no warning. Regulus wailed and arched his back
this time. He screamed in pleasure as Sirius pulled out and slammed back in,
striking gold against his prostate in one go. Regulus thrashed again and came
back down to encircle his arms around Sirius's back. He scratched his nails
across his skin, digging them in until he felt blood. Sirius didn't care. He
didn't care about anything except for screwing his brother senseless.
Regulus was unable to move, he was unable to do anything but lie there and take
all his brother gave to him. He grunted and panted and moaned wantonly without
a care in the world. Sirius was fucking into him at a brutal pace now and the
burn, the sting from each thrust, the amazing euphoria that came with every
prostate strike – godfuckingdamn – he was in heaven.
They stayed like that for almost ten minutes, trapped in fuck fest frenzy.
Regulus keened and clawed at Sirius's back again. He couldn't take anymore. He
needed release. His cock was aching so badly.
"Master…Master please…too sensitive, I need to cum, please, Master!"
Sirius slowed his pace only a bit, rocking in and out of Regulus's tight
entrance more leisurely.
"What do you want, love?"
"Me…I…you…I mean release." Regulus babbled. Despite his urgent need to relieve
himself, Sirius still felt amazing. So big and thick and perfect. He was being
filled and thoroughly fucked. Nothing was better than this.
"Put it together," Sirius said calmly.
"Please, Master, I need to cum." Regulus moaned. "Please remove the ring."
"Do you really want me to take the ring off?" Sirius goaded him. "Do you want
to feel my thick cum coating your insides?"
Fuck fuck fuck.
"Yes, Master, Yes!"
"Have you been a good boy?" Sirius purred.
"Yes, I think so." Regulus stammered in frustration. Sirius smirked and slammed
into him again. Regulus screeched. Sirius drove into him for another five
minutes before giving in. The poor dear was an absolute mess. His skin was
flushed, he was sweating from the top of his forehead to the tip of his toes,
and his breaths were coming out in sharp bursts. Sirius wasn't doing too well
himself, but once again, as the Master he had to retain his cool.
Muttering spells in his mind, Sirius managed to slide the ring off his
brother's cock without touching it. The moment it was off, Regulus literally
started vibrating, jerking and twitching like he'd been electrocuted. Hot damn,
Sirius's eyes widened comically. Reg was about to explode; he'd been holding
that orgasm for far too long.
Several deep thrusts later, the tsunami hit. Regulus screamed through his
entire release, which lasted for about two minutes. He writhed all over the
place, his spasms causing his load to shoot in any and every direction. Sirius
thrust into his hot ass one more time before he came. He groaned loudly. This
was the hottest orgasm ever. He blacked out at about the same time as Regulus.
They both lay still on top of the soiled, silken sheets and rested.
===============================================================================
A dream , Sirius thought as he began to stir,  a beautiful, incredible dream .
He could hear slow breathing next to him, and allowed his eyes to flutter open,
seeing that he was still lying on the same bed he'd passed out on. It wasn't a
dream.
A smile made it's way to his lips as he turned his head slightly to look at
Regulus, sleeping peacefully, strands of his soft black hair had fallen into
his eyes and he looked gorgeous.
Never, in his life, had Sirius experienced anything as amazing as what he had
experienced tonight - it was perfect. Everything about it.
He slowly sat up, as not to wake his brother, and pulled the covers over
himself - he'd left his clothes in the cabana. The movement - as quiet and
careful as it had been - stirred Regulus. He made a small sound and Sirius
glanced over to see him rubbing his eyes.
Regulus looked at Sirius and a smile formed on his tired face. "Hi," he said
quietly, giving Sirius a look that made him seem to melt.
"Hey there," Sirius replied, pulling Regulus up and wrapping the cover around
them both. Regulus looked up at him and smirked.
"Can I call you 'Sirius' now?" he asked. Sirius laughed and slid his arm around
Reg's waist, pulling him closer. He rested his chin on Reg's head, inhaling his
scent and smiling at how gorgeous he smelt.
"Yeah," he whispered. "Yes, you can."
"Well Sirius," Regulus said. "That was one hell of a night. Absolutely
amazing."
Sirius grinned and grabbed Regulus's hand, pulling him up from the bed. He
didn't say anything as he lead his brother out of the room and into the
sunlight.
The light was so bright, they had to squint at first to see where they were
going. There was a soft rustling of leaves as they passed a canopy of tall
trees that lead to the bridge they had seen earlier.
Sirius lead them over the bridge and they stopped in the middle, Sirius turning
round and wrapping his arms around Reg. Regulus stared up at him in awe. How
could anybody be so mind-blowing in every single way? How was it even possible?
Sirius planted a kiss on Reg's forehead and grabbed his hand again, leading him
further back through the beautiful fantasy scene that they were in.
They passed a tall stunning waterfall, that flowed into a glistening pool of
clear water, and Sirius stopped by the edge of the water, and sat down on the
soft grass. Regulus followed suit, staring out at the sight in front of them.
"This place is unbelievable," Regulus said quietly as he stared around at their
sanctuary. Sirius nodded, as he had been thinking the exact same thing. He
picked up a rounded pebble that was lying in the grass and threw it so it
skimmed across the water.
That was when he saw it.
If he had blinked, he wouldn't have seen it. It seemed that Regulus had missed
it too. Sirius looked more closely at the water and gasped as it rippled
elegantly.
"Reg," he said, glancing back at his boyfriend, who leaned forward to take a
look as well.
Instead of seeing the bottom of the pool like Sirius had expected, he was
staring at an image... or a moving image, of himself and Regulus. It was like
watching himself... seeing himself... like... aTV. At least that's what Sirius
thought it was called.
"That's us!" Regulus said unhelpfully, as he peered in. "But we're older."
And he was right. They weren't as young in the pool of water as they were at
that moment, they looked maybe three or four years older.
"Reg," Sirius breathed, watching as the older versions of them kissed in the
pool. "I think this shows the future."
Regulus grinned. "The future? So... so that means that we'll still be together
whenever this happens."
The thought brought a smile to Sirius's face and he felt like his life had just
got so much better. He knew he would be with Regulus for a long time, but
having the proof played out in front of him made it seem much more real.
"We'll always be together, Reg," Sirius said, now casting his eyes away from
the pool of water and looking at Regulus, who looked right back at him with a
smile.
"I know," he whispered, leaning his head against Sirius's chest and closing his
eyes as Sirius ran his fingers through his messy dark hair.
"Do you know what else this means?" Sirius asked.
"Mmm? What?" Reg answered quietly.
"You're not getting married," Sirius said. "To that Parkinson girl. If we're
together in however long this is, you must not be married. Do you see a ring on
your finger there?"
Regulus opened his eyes and watched the older version of himself in the pool,
and indeed, there was no ring. "You're right," he said, hope filling up his
insides.
"Which means you do have the courage to say no to them. You can do it," Sirius
said, kissing Regulus's hand lightly.
"I can" Regulus repeated. "I will. I'll send a letter to mum today."
Sirius felt as if his heart was going to explode with pure love for Regulus. He
was going to do it. He was actually going to stand up to them, for Sirius. He
couldn't ask for anything more.
He leaned forward, letting the blanket fall off of them both, and pushing
Regulus down against the soft grass. Sirius ducked his head and his lips met
Regulus's for the sweetest kiss they'd shared in a long time.
Every small touch was like their first, and the electric ran through them both
like fire.
Everything was much more romantic this time. Just the two of them and the
beautiful surroundings and it was so special and perfect and incredible.
===============================================================================
The sun was painted against the orange-pink sky as it set, casting a stunning
glow down on them. They lay in the grass, Regulus in Sirius's arms with the
blanket over them, staring up at the sunset.
"I love you so much."
"I love you, too."
And they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, without a care in the
world, except for that they had each other and that was all that mattered in
that moment.
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